Disaster Guide

It is well known throughout the unknown universe that disasters can (or cannot, if you're Polish) occur at any given moment or colour. What follows is a guide on how to react in just a few of the po5sible disasters/Abba.

Genocide of your race - Your race is doomed, and you shall undoubtedly die a horrible but orgasmic death involving a floppy disk, 3 tons and a Michigan based research center for the blind.

Empty Fridge - If no food or leather straps can be found in your fridge, you may have been a victim of 'Fridge-emtyfication', an increasingly retarded crime most common in Neverland. Stay calm, and you shall soon starve, so panic and kill all of those closest to you.

A bad fart by the person next to you - Get naked and ram some sort of racism as far as you can up your right nostril.