It Starts With a Seed

During my freshman year of college I was given an assignment in my Expository Writing class. We were to write a descriptive essay—I had lost my father to a car accident just one year prior and had been coping by writing poems and journal entries…so this time I chose to write specifically regarding the car accident.

I would describe the accident in detail. I felt like I needed to, in order to process the reality and maybe to help push through the flashbacks. I needed the whole thing to just make sense in my mind.

I completed the assignment, handed it in, and went on to receive an ‘A’. I felt very connected to that writing, but eventually it was physically misplaced. Throughout the years, the absence of that paper has caused me some distress.

Now ever since I was a teen I’ve been storing collectibles, pictures, and memorabilia in a cedar chest my parents bought me for my sixteenth birthday.

Last year I rummaged through that large wooden box as I have many other times, only this time I came across a folder that hadn’t been opened for years. I peered inside and much to my surprise I came across writings—journal entries from that college Expository Writing class.

Tucked between all of those papers was one rough draft I had kept—a rough draft of that descriptive essay I had written so many years before, describing our family’s car accident. It wasn’t the final copy I had turned in for a grade, but it was still a copy, so I settled and decided it’d have to do.

However I couldn’t bring myself to read it, so I placed it safely back in that sweet chest that contains so many other keepsakes. Throughout the past year I’d only just imagined the words to those pages until the other day when I finally pulled the papers out once again.

This time I read word-for-word.

I paid particular attention to the fact that my writing style hasn’t changed much since then. Even though that paper was written nearly sixteen years ago and I had gone several years without writing, it still very much reflected my current writings.

I read and read and finished page two and went on to page three, where I described the moment our van came to rest, bottom side up—the scene where my hands met the hot pavement of the highway as I crouched low pulling myself from the mangled vehicle.

But then the words ended and I realized the rough draft I held in my hands had never been finished…

I felt empty—here was this writing that I had longed to read and had apprehensively gathered the courage to finally do so. And now it fell desperately short of fulfilling my hopes.

My sole purpose in reading that essay was to see the ending.

My dad and I-Christmas of 1998- 3 yrs. before the car accident

I wanted to discover if I made any mention of God or had my faith really been as shallow as I remember it being. Did I praise him for keeping me safe? Did I thank him for sparing my mom’s life and my little brother’s? Did I lash out at Him for the loss of my dad? And now I’d never know…

During those teenage years, during the time of the accident and writing that paper I was living life all wrong.

I believed Jesus was God’s Son and that He died for my sins. I even called myself a Christian, BUT when I look back at those years the most prevalent memories are those of selfishness and carelessness, played out in the choices I was making—complete neglect to Christ even though I knew better.

Having been able to read the end of that paper would have shown me if the memories I have of those years really did follow a naive faith…Or maybe the ending would have made just even the slightest reference to Jesus, alleviating some of the guilt I’ve felt for not following Him faithfully and willingly when I should have been during those messy years.

Either way my feelings were as incomplete as the rough draft I held in my hands.

I scanned over the papers again and then finally read over the notes and phrases I had jotted in the margins. (when I write, my rough drafts always include extra words in the margins, all of which inevitably find their way into the final copy)

I came to a quote that I had scrawled across the top margin of one of the pages. I finished reading the words through a haze of blissful tears.

The quote read: ‘The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything.’ – author unknown

…It was no longer important for me to read the ending to that descriptive essay. I had come across what I had hoped for.

Even though there were so many weeds in my life at that time—a tragedy, poor choices, and selfish living rooted deep within me I still must have held onto a small seed of faith that someone had planted in my heart long ago.

Reminiscing my teen years, I remember only a mess, but the fact that I acknowledged the importance of God when I wrote that paper in the midst of chaos revealed something different… Why else would I have had those words penciled across the top of that paper?

Seeds of faith (God’s word) had been planted in me all those years ago, even though I was oblivious to what God was doing or going to do years later.

Seeds of faith, no matter the size, are powerful and can grow and accomplish amazing things when we allow God to work in our lives.

(Read Mark ch.4 for more on seeds and to see what type of soil you are in your faith..very eye opening)

Exposure to God’s word, His message, can be compared to a seed planted in soil—someone has planted the seed, maybe another believer has watered it, but God causes it to grow through our obedience to Him. 1st Corinthians 3:6-7

After coming across that quote in the rough draft of my college descriptive essay I had mixed feelings…That evening I looked at my husband and said, “I don’t get it, I don’t understand how out of all the opportunities I had to follow Christ much sooner than I did, why did I wait so long?”

With humble, compassionate words my husband gently responded, “Alicia, don’t you realize when God saved you, he had others in mind? If you would have come to Christ as a teenager I might not have been saved.” …

KNOW THIS, I am not at all promoting that anyone should ever hold off coming to Christ for any reason, nor does God condone ill behavior or choices in a believer for the sake of reaching the unsaved. 2nd Corinthians 6:14-15.

BUT when my husband and I were dating as teenagers, he was even farther away from having a relationship with Christ than I was. Had I been saved earlier, our high school relationship may have fizzled out and my husband may have never accepted Christ, like he eventually did.

I don’t fully understand it, but God worked it all out for his glory. When my husband and I finally came to Christ in our late twenties (together) it was all God’s perfect timing. He used the whole situation in a way that brought glory to Himself.

Nathan and I 2017

God continues to work in mine and my husband’s life. We choose to be obedient to His calling in our life, and ask for His guidance in planting seeds in others and in watering those seeds as well.

I may not remember the ending words in my college essay, but I do know that I’m fully grounded in my faith these days and it all began with a seed planted amongst a bed of messy soil.

…So I finish this writing with two thoughts for you:

1) When God saved you, who else did he have in mind? Or have you allowed Him to save you?

2) Plant seeds of faith, the Word of God, in someone’s heart—it could be your very own spouse, son or daughter, parents, sibling, or a friend who has never had that seed planted….and then water that seed or perhaps allow someone else to, and then leave the growing to God.

Paul writes in his letter to the Corinthians in chapter 3 verse 7, ‘It’s not important who does the planting or watering, what’s important is that God makes the seed grow.’

ULTIMATELY the seed must be planted and watered before it will grow.

With Spring and Easter among us won’t you obediently allow God to grow your faith by seeking His will…attend a church service, dig into His word, know and grow in Him….and check outMark ch.4 to see what type of soil you are!

Prayer: God, thank you that through a small seed, you grow something beautiful through our obedience to you. Help me to remove the weeds in my life to uncover your fruit—living and growing in me. Amen.

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Author: alimw2013

About For His Purpose~
My name is Alicia and I'm a thirty-something year old who loves Jesus.
Only through God’s amazing grace and mercy I have been redeemed from past regret and shame. Reading His word has allowed me to look past Satan’s forceful lies, to see myself for who Christ says I am in Him.
Through writing I have learned why I made the choices I made in my younger years and I now have a better understanding of why I desire to love God like crazy these days.
Despite my daily failures, God remains faithful always. I am reassured of His unconditional love for me by every ink-drop spilled out on paper, each committed prayer as I cry out to Him, and deep understanding reflected through reading His word as truth.
Yes keeping a blog will make me vulnerable to others’ opinions- there will be some who don’t understand, some who may criticize or judge, but on the other hand if just one piece expressed through my writing grabs someone’s attention and directs them to God, then pouring out my heart in a blog for the world to read is worth it. I choose to glorify Him alone through words streaming across a glowing screen.
And it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t reveal the fact that I’m incredibly quirky; I’m my loving husband’s best friend, my vivacious kids’ craziest cheerleader and spiritual trainer (3 John 1:4). I love anything farmhouse and rustic style. I think cupping a warm coffee mug in the palm of my hands is more satisfying than the contents within. I share a common obsession with my husband for the mountains, but I would (without a doubt) settle for waves crashing against my legs at the Atlantic Ocean just as well, and I almost always have a Yorkie curled up on my lap while writing.
*All photos are photographed by forhispurpose.blog and therefore may not be stored or photocopied in any manner.
View all posts by alimw2013

13 thoughts on “It Starts With a Seed”

No, not at all Karen! That’s what it’s for-share it, pass it on, however it can be used to glorify God!
I struggled writing it because it’s such a deep emotion and I wasn’t sure if it was understandable or reasonable because I know God doesn’t set sin up and I didn’t at all want it to come across that way..so I’m truly humbled by your comment..thank you..I’m going to miss you guys so much when you move but I’m thankful we can communicate this way!

Looks like we both have growing things, and weeds on our minds. Check out my latest post “Short and Sprout” if your interested. 🙂 Great post and thoughts by the way. I came to Christ while dating my husband. 🙂

Love this testimony and how His grace never fails. Regardless of our hesitation or flat out running away from Him, He is always at the door knocking. I look forward to your posts! Sincerely, a rookie who ran like Moses!

Just read your about, but there was nowhere to leave a comment or like it, so I’m leaving you a comment here. I could definitely relate to a lot of the things you said about being vulnerable, but sharing anyways. I feel the exact same way. I’d rather be transparent and be judged if anything I have to offer will help someone else. So it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who feels that way. Thanks for the encouraging comment on my post. 🙂

I, wholeheartedly, feel like if everyone would humbly make themselves vulnerable, transparent, and more honest the world would be much better off than it is…I realize sin remains until Jesus returns BUT most of the ugly, from bombings to shootings, etc. happen because of a coward with a heart issue who was to stubborn to just open up to someone about their struggles before hitting rock bottom..heart breaking really.

Unexpectedly moved beyond words. Your memories and revelation stirred many emotions within my soul. You are a blessing as is your gift of writing. Please keep sharing. Have a blessed Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday sister. ♥️

Oh thank you so much! Praise to Him!! It’s such a blessing to read comments such as yours…when we come together and encourage one another on like so, I’m convinced it’s one of the sweetest gifts we can offer (Hebrews 10:24)
We must continually work together to spread the word!!:)