By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

So many many years ago SCTV did a bit ( that I don't feel like Googling) where Mr. Chekhov beamed down from the Enterprise and landed in a Chekhov Play. I swear I saw it but then again I used to take many 'Recreational' pharmaceuticals too so perhaps my memory ain't so good.

Either way, try to imagine that ( not the Drugs) while reading this:

Quote:

So it is cold to me without you .... So it is empty in a room .... And I
hate bed and a room, because you not beside now. I can not tell, that I
hate all world because in it there is much that kind and light. But you
- most dearly and only. Is more dear. You know about it .... About it
knows all around: walls, floors, ceilings, furniture, doors. They regret
me, they see, how frequently I pay. And the pillow - now my girlfriend,
every evening, bathes under a falls of my tears ....
I want to feel taste of your gentle lips .... I thank you that you are in
this world. Yes, you beside, despite of distance. I see your eyes when I
close the .... They so are fine, so are charming ....

You always beside .... You - in my heart, in my soul, in my dreams, in my
ideas, in my consciousness, in my life. To me it is bad without you,
sadly, boringly, melancholy. I so want to you. So you do not suffice me

Okay maybe the drugs would help out a bit but we don't advocate that around here and only an idiot would do such so enough said about that!!!

John is at a loss for words:

Quote:

My Lena,

Your messages touch me with their wonderful diction and sentiment. There are no words in my vocabulary that could ever equal your prose.

Lena on the other hand always has plenty to say:

Quote:

My love I to you want to tell that I want to arrive to you to you as
soon as possible. I to you also want to tell that I should know when you
will send money? Which number you will do it? I should know it because I
then should inform in travel agency. I already spoke you that I started
process from the visa and have paid already in agency 100 $ and still it
are necessary to pay 520 $. You understand me be relative it inform me?
I should know when you can send money then to go in travel agency to
tell that they knew it. You understand me inform me about it? You also
tell to me in the following letter when you will help me of what number?
I should know it? I finish on it the letter and I shall wait from you
for the following letter. I strong whole and very strongly embrace you.
Write to me as soon as possible. Your Elena

Awwww 'I strong whole' you too Lena!!!!!

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:13 am

My Lena gives us some much more better verse:

Quote:

I love you .... Aroma of my love - in all: in the sky, in clouds, in solar beams, on the ground,
in air .... And in each letter, in each word which you see in this letter. I write it that you
have believed: I very much miss on you. Each molecule of the body I miss .... It is a pity, that
you now do not feel it.
Your name of me warms. I call you in dream. Can, you hear my call? Respond, differently I shall
simply go mad ...
Tell to me: of what you dream? I, necessarily, shall try to execute all your dreams. I want to
make it to prove to you force of the love. She - is boundless
I love you .... And these words, I am ready to repeat to you constantly. You want? I shall use up
them all body ...
You want, I shall spread, a magnificent carpet, all sky under your legs? You want, I shall make
the ground of yours? I know: it it is not necessary for you. I believe, that is necessary for
you. I in you not for a moment also did not think to doubt. In fact attitudes is " sweet of
trust ". I always trusted you, and I shall always trust.
You - my most dear person. I feel, how painfully crawl days in separation from you. Who has
thought up all these distances? Really those who has composed them, never felt the present
love?

Exactly Baby! You took the words right out of my mouth! What else have you got for me Toots?

Quote:

Hello my love!!!
I am glad to your letter. My love I has read your letter.
I am very glad to hear from you that have money near at hand to send
them to me. But you ask the bank account me to send it. My love I
understand you about what you speak that you want to send to the account
to bank to be safe. I want to tell to you that I have no bank account.
You understand it. Send money through the western union. The western
union too a safe way in a parcel of money. My love send to me your phone
number and I shall try to you to call to prove that I really I exist
instead of a forgery. I love you and I want to be only with you. I also
send you the photos I hope they to you will like!!! I finish on it the
letter and I shall wait from you for the following letter. I strong
whole and very strongly embrace you. Write to me as soon as possible.
Your Elena

Wouldn't Eastern Union be more fitting? Sorry I am still kinda confused at the possibility of being trapped under that 'magnificent carpet'. Talk about a Red Carpet affair...okay I'm done.

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Tue Feb 26, 2013 1:43 am

In my early morning Hungoverness I could have sworn that My Lena sent some more Vladish Poetry but now ( in my early evening Drunkenness) I can't seem to find it. Oh well:

Quote:

Hello my love!!!
I am glad to your letter. My love I has read your letter.
I want you to ask you are ready to send money for other name? Understand
the matter is that my aunt has agreed to help with it. She has told that
will open the bank account to help with this situation. That you could
send then money. You understand me that I want to tell to you. Whether
my love inform me please are ready to send money for the bank account
addressed to my aunt? My love write to me the answer as soon as possible???
Whether because I shall wait from you for the letter with the answer are
ready to send on the account of my aunt whether or not then to tell to
my aunt that she have gone to bank and have opened there the account?
You have understood me? Write to me as soon as possible?? I wait from
you for the letter. Your Elena

AND

Quote:

My love inform me as soon as possible concerning that you are ready to send addressed to my aunt whether or not?

AND

Quote:

Whether my love tell to me concerning that can send on the bank account
addressed to my aunt whether or not? I wait from you for the answer?
Write to me as soon as possible. I wait from you for the letter???

Now I do understand that there is a bit of a language barrier here My Lena BUT what part of send me a Bank Account is not getting through? Imagine my Bride asking me over and over and ( you getting the idea?) to take the garbage out?

'Oh Those Russians' (With apologies to Boney M)

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Tue Feb 26, 2013 11:53 pm

So My Lena just ain't getting it for some reason. Is it because of my Ukrainian Heritage? Is she simply Dumber than a Bag of Varenykys? Perhaps she is a relative to the Babushka Lady and is just biding her time:

Quote:

Hello my love!!
I am glad to receive from you the letter. My love at once I want to ask
you about that that you have answered me precisely and seriously my
question. Tell to me you can precisely send money addressed to my
girlfriend whether or not. I have to a kind you can send money for the
bank account as you at me asked addressed to my aunt or the girlfriend.
My love inform me about that can send on the bank account addressed to
my aunt or my girlfriend? You agree to send so I ask you. Write to me
the answer as soon as possible because I wait for the answer from you
then to go and speak my girlfriend that she have opened the bank account!!!
I wait from you for the answer?? Write to me as soon as possible.
Your Elena.

Precisely? Seriously? My Lena I think you have the wrong Guy. Either way I get another batch of photos. I love the note:

Quote:

I send you the photos I hope they to you will like

Followed by some Vlad-O-Rama:

Quote:

I am very glad, that we have met here on the Internet. For me now there
is no greater happiness, than to love you, to be you loved. To feel your
support, heat, care. You - my most beautiful and native person in this
world. You everything, that are necessary for me in a life for happiness.
I can trust in you completely. Now I understand, that that happened, I
have the person who never will leave me, will always support and will
give good advice...
I awfully am afraid of you to lose and consequently sometimes I act
silly, but it only that you reduce me from mind. Probably, it happens,
that I disappoint you, I offend... But you love me... I want to change,
the truth... I Want to see happiness in your eyes, and to know, that I
am necessary for you. I want, that you trusted me...
Loved, please, let's never quarrel, betray each other. Loved mine, we
should understand each other, support and protect. We through much have
together passed, to us still much should be made together.

Yeah. Yeah. Whatever Baby! Now be a good girl and give me some sugar:

Quote:

My love I to you want to tell that after yours the letter where you have
told to me that you are ready to send addressed to my girlfriend I at
once has told to my girlfriend Mariya that she has opened the bank
account. My love my girlfriend has opened the account. I want to inform
you the full information. This information:

I hope you of me have understood be relative it how to send on the bank
account as you and wanted. My love inform me in the letter about that
and whether can send money for my visa whether or not?? I wait from you
for the letter. Write to me as soon as possible. Your Elena

My Lena finally coughed up an account after 'Writing' more than Gorky ever did.

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Wed Feb 27, 2013 11:03 pm

With My Lena's Visa nearly taken care of she seems to be a changed Gal:

Quote:

Lovely my, unique, thanks you, that you are Is on it light...

All fine in a life to me is given by you! Only you are capable to make her

Fine.

You my prince of whom I dreamed when was still absolutely small...

You give me so much to love, it is so much heat and tenderness...

I am ready to give all on light to hear yours I LIKE.

LOVELY, YOU are NECESSARY for me as air, as water.

Without you to me to not live...

I love you... And to whom I shall not give!

Uh well...Thanks? I'm at a loss for words Lena. You have said it all. Well almost:

Quote:

My love I understand that that you you to me speak me that will send
money before a weekend. I shall wait it from you. I love you and I want to be only with you

That wasn't so bad really. Money only came up once so perhaps Lena and John can co-exist after all. As long as she doesn't go all Biblical on me that is:

Quote:

You - my treasure which has met to me so unexpectedly and which has helped me to be
issued with the whole world and in the heart!

I LOVE YOU!!! I love each your section, each centimeter of your body, I
love each your smile, a touch, a sight... I Want, that you looked at me
all life the bottomless eyes!

My happiness, native mine, my love, you the most remarkable person in
this world! Let it is known by all! In fact, in spite of on anything:
storms, thunder-storms, a tsunami, hurricanes, earthquakes, flooding,
fires, accidents, global warming, ozone gaps, flashes of various viruses,
displacement of the Earth from an axis, a stain on the Sun, meteoric
rains - all of us equally shall together, we strong, our love will go
through all!!!

At least it isn't raining Frogs as I'm not sure I could handle that. Hopefully she can handle the Boil Plague; John T Boil that is.

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Fri Mar 01, 2013 1:04 am

Not too much to report today. My Lena sent me the same message about 'ozone gaps' and the like. Yeah I got some fine Bikini shots but dang I was looking for so much more! Oh well I guess we have to settle for some VLad Verse:

Quote:

I THE HAPPIEST!

I HAVE YOU!

I love you, indefinitely, madly!

Where you were, what you did, let my love stores you...

Thanks you for you!!!

For your force, your wisdom, your beauty!

For that, due to you I believe that there are in the world Present men!

For that with you you feel the Present woman!

For that up to you I did not know, that such the Present love.

Thanks you for you too!!!

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Sat Mar 02, 2013 1:06 am

My Lena hasn't been hitting me up for money as of late for some reason. Maybe we are in love and that was merely a test:

Quote:

In me to be created something unimaginable since that moment as I have
fallen in love. Always I think of you in you! Ever since has lost my
heart rest, but, that is interesting, to find it it again in any does
not want! I speak all this to you not because today it is necessary to
speak it that is why what be silent I I can not! Each my section shouts
how she madly loves you! I want to shout to you about it always, since
morning when we wake up, in the afternoon when awfully I miss you or to
sleep in the evening when inflow of my love does not give you! But I in
fact not from evil, and all because I madly love you!

You became my necessity, need, need and all to a volume similar! Without
you I would not like anything, even to live! As I can live, if not I can
speak about how I am sincerely sick as to me has prompted a computer, I
love you! And in general, what for to me such boring life! I would like
to see and embrace you always, always, in the summer, in the winter, in
the autumn, and in the spring so it is especial! But most of all I would
like to caress you when you sleep! You such soft and fluffy!

Me such Hard and Chiselled! To the Siggy with that one....

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Mon Mar 04, 2013 1:45 am

My Lena gives me uh something but I uh...oh never mind:

Quote:

My loved, you likely already know, but all the same I shall tell, that
you the most light person in my life! My sun! I even cannot think
without you, I become silly - silly! To me even to breathe it would not
be desirable without you! You are necessary for me as air! Without you
so it is intolerable it is stuffy, and you it is impossible to inhale!

Your smile as mad happiness, I cannot present, if you have presented me
all attention, my heart likely simply would not sustain from an
overabundance of feelings!

You - as a cloud of happiness which is unattainable which is simple
above you and do not leave you even in a sunny day.

My heart did not know still so strong, bright and improbable feelings.

I - would like to be your breath. I - would like to be a beam of the sun
which rushes into your room and awake you...

I thank you that has presented me wings of love, happiness!

It's like she is commenting on the Morning after Chile Night at Piles Place. It's a 'Cloud of Happiness'!

But My Lena what else?

Quote:

Hello my love!
My love you to me have told that will send money at the end of this week!!!
What at you it has turned out??? My love inform me please when you will
send now to me of money??? I want to know it?? Inform me as soon as
possible?? I wait from you for the letter!!!

Oh yeah the money....

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

Capone** REMEMBERED **

Joined: 16 Feb 2013
Posts: 10598
Location: Blackacre

Posted:
Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:06 pm

Is every second or third vlad named Elena?

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:50 pm

You'd think I could get a Nadia or Olga or Svetlana? Once when in St. Petersburg I wanted to take a Svetlana home with me but the Missus said no. I'm still bitter!

Best of luck Gentle Readers:

Quote:

I already simply cannot without you. To be tired it is constantly one.
Very much I want to you as awfully I miss you without yours of heat,
support
It is a pity, that I can see your smile only in photos or present in
dream. You are very necessary for me. Without you I, most likely, will
not be in this world.
You excuse, that I it speak all to you, but I can not restrain any more.
How you there? What at you new? I hope, you not so strongly miss on me.
You miss? I very much.
I wait for your answer. To me it is bad without you. Whole. Strongly -
is strongly I embrace, never you would release.
I love you

Quote:

I am glad to hear from you that you speak me that will go in bank on
Monday in the morning. I am really very glad to this. I shall wait it
from you. I love you and very strongly I want to be only with you.

That was a bit better don't you think? Mind you Lena spoke the Language of Love: Money!

Quote:

I am very glad, that we have met. For me now there is no greater
happiness, than to love you, to be you loved. To feel your support, heat,
care. You - my most beautiful and native person in this world. You
everything, that are necessary for me in a life for happiness.
I can trust in you completely. Now I understand, that that happened, I
have the mainest person who never will leave me, will always support and
will give good advice...
I awfully am afraid of you to lose and consequently sometimes I act
silly, but it only that you reduce me from mind. Probably, it happens,
that I disappoint you, I offend... But you love me... I want to change,
the truth... I Want to see happiness in your eyes, and to know, that I
am necessary for you. I want, that you trusted me...
Loved, please, let's never quarrel, betray each other. Loved mine, we
should understand each other, support and protect. We through much have
together passed, to us still much should be made together.

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Tue Mar 05, 2013 10:26 pm

My Lena has returned to form with her Pushkinesque verse:

Quote:

When you are not present beside-

My world as though is empty.

I ask return delight,

Languor of passionate lips.

Where you would not be I know,

That you with me now.

My angel, I miss

Without your hands and eyes.

To my girlfriends do not listen,-

Another is not necessary for me

In fact a life only a case,

And the truth - you with me.

And let you are not present beside,

You know we shall meet you soon

That pretty much says it all doesn't it? It leaves me speechless.

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Thu Mar 07, 2013 12:17 am

In her Vladocity My Lena has really learned to master copy and paste (or rinse and repeat) so I will attempt to keep the repetition down but it's not easy. After cutting out anything that seemed memorable I was left with this:

Quote:

I love you and the sky, only the sky and you,

I live double love, a life I breathe, loving.

In the light sky - infinity: infinity of lovely eyes.

In a light look - boundlessness: the sky shown in us.

I look in spaces of the sky, my look is absorbed by the sky.

I look in eyes: in them the same distance - spaces and a distance of times.

Chasm of a look, chasm of the sky! I, as a swan on waves,

Between a double chasm I hover, it is reflected in the dreams.

So, are deserted on the ground, to the sky we ascend, loving ...

I love you and the sky, only the sky and you.

Enough Creepy Imagery Lena what is really on your mind?

Quote:

My love has received from you letters. Whether but I wanted to learn
that at you you went to bank whether or not?? Inform me? Also inform me
through what you will send money? Also inform me when will send?

Sorry not getting you. Could you make it a wee bit clearer?

Quote:

My love inform me as soon as possible when you will send and through
what you will do it?? I should know it??? I wait from you for the answer?
Write to me as soon as possible because I think of you and I worry for
you also

Okay that makes more sense...wait uh nope I uh could use just another hint:

Quote:

My love I understand you about what you to me speak. But I want at you
how many will ask to last bank translation? You also I hope will send
money for the account of my girlfriend?? Inform me

Perhaps there is a language barrier here? I could have sworn that I told My Lena that I sent the money days ago...oh well nothing like a Self-Baiting Gal.

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Fri Mar 08, 2013 12:18 am

Everything is so confusing but I carry on hoping that My Lena will go all Pichushkin on my Ass but so far no dice:

Quote:

Your smile as mad happiness, I cannot present, if you have presented me
all attention, my heart likely simply would not sustain from an
overabundance of feelings!

You - as a cloud of happiness which is unattainable which is simple
above you and do not leave you even in a sunny day.

My heart did not know still so strong, bright and improbable feelings.

I would like to be your breath. I - would like to be a beam of the sun
which rushes into your room and to awake you...a

I thank you that has presented me wings of love, happiness!

My Breath? What are you trying to say Lena? Onions and Beer and Smokes and stuff? That sounds like a formidable weapon.....

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Fri Mar 08, 2013 11:56 pm

At last My Lena has come up with something new and quite um...well you be the judge:

Quote:

For some reason, when I think of you, in my head does not remain
anything. Emptiness, and only any pain on heart ... and weight on soul
And when I try to distract, ideas, as if a plenty of bees, hoot, creating little bit
unpleasant sensations.
I shall tell lies, if I shall tell, that it is unpleasant to me to think
of you, more likely on the contrary, I to see a lot, so frequently it
did, that have imperceptibly fallen in love. Is not realized ... Casually
How to fly at first time.
- whom I remind the inexperienced and silly child to myself.
And you ... you were right today ... when we spoke concerning this silly party and age.
I do not know, that me draws in you but when we for a long time do not
communicate, I on soul have alarm, anxiety ... and the jealousy wakes up.
At once the idea, that at you, probably, has appeared the girl for this
time, therefore you do not aspire to dialogue with me...

Spring must be on its way! I can almost hear the Bees Hooting.

Quote:

My love I very strongly love you. I also am very glad to that that you
speak me of money it is possible to receive not later than Monday. I am
glad it from you to hear. My love how many you have sent on the account
to my girlfriend Sharova Mariya? Inform me it? You have sent 520 $? I
should know then to inform my girlfriend Mariya

Yeah yeah whatever Baby Cakes. I think I told you but then again I obviously forget to tell you much of anything:

Quote:

My love I want to inform you that that on Monday my girlfriend Sharova
Mariya could receive from you money to it it is necessary will to know
necessarily your full name and a surname. My love send to me it as soon
as you can??? I hope you of me have understood?

You'd think that might have come up in our conversations before. They are pretty much one sided mind you.

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

Capone** REMEMBERED **

Joined: 16 Feb 2013
Posts: 10598
Location: Blackacre

Posted:
Sat Mar 09, 2013 12:33 am

You are tolerant:I don't know what I would do if some compared my romantic impact as bee farts.

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:40 pm

^Awww C'mon they pack a powerful punch.

And now for something completely Vladish:

Quote:

I do not know for what, I do not know why, but I have fallen in love
with you. Silly to push away it. And unless the reasons are necessary to
fall in love? Unless not so? How you think? In my opinion, should love
not for something, as for example for beautiful eyes or pleasant
appearance, should love contrary to all! Contrary to a pain ... And so I
love you! Contrary to everything, even knowing, that probably it will
lead me to to destruction - if I learn, that is indifferent to you.
I love you more strongly, than you could present yourself sometime. Most
strongly who probably loves you now or will grow fond in the future. For
the sake of you - would give a life - if you have asked.

Ditto Baby.

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Tue Mar 12, 2013 9:52 pm

Over the last couple days Lena has been sending the same old schlock but I figured that might change once the Bank Transfer failed.

Let us see:

Quote:

My love I ask you that you have gone about bank and about all have learned concerning money

Vhat?

Quote:

My Russian Beauty,

The Banker said that the transfer was could not be completed due to some technical difficulties. Would you have another account we can use?

Dang that didn't work:

Quote:

Hello my love!
My love I understand you that you speak me that transfer has not been
finished from the technical reasons. My love I want to ask you? You
cannot send through the western union? Inform me it as soon as possible?
I wait from you for the letter!! Understand that the western union is
very fast easy for moving money. I hope you of me have understood.
Inform me it as soon as possible!! Also I want can ask you is MoneyGram?
Inform me it?

And now for some of My Lena's Positive Reinforcement:

Quote:

Now I do not know, whether the life without you is possible. Whether it
is possible to be happy, cheerful and carefree, when you not a number.
Each instant in separation from you proves to me, that it is impossible.
I am is happy only with you, with you the world opens to me the
brightest sides and erases barrier on a way to realization of desires.
Forgive, if I have once offended you, in fact I not at once have learned
to appreciate your feelings. Anybody is not necessary for me another, in
my heart - only you!

I want to love you gently - is gentle,
How earlier nobody liked.
I want to love you gently-
So that you have never overlooked.
I want to love you beautifully, hot,
That in heart ice to kindle.
I want to love you too greedy:
That only mine that with anybody to not divide!
I want to love ... well, however, that there!
I have absolutely overlooked to ask you,
As you want, my demon and my god,
That I loved you?

Quote:

Loved when it is difficult for me, I close eyes, and in temples
distinctly gives knock of your heart. Once I have heard it, and since
then my heart is beaten with it in a unison. I miss on yours which
tenderness it is impossible to compare to one other sensation. I miss on
your laughter which never left me indifferent. I miss on your bottomless
eyes in which the whole world is lost - with all complexities and daily
vanity ... I really miss ... and it is not simple words, it is pain and
melancholy which once will be dissolved in time, turning in our general
pleasure and happiness. I know, we are stronger than these tests and if
they have dropped out on our share, means, they to us on forces.

John (or is it Ivan?)just doesn't feel all that comfortable with the whole WU/MG thing so Lena decides that a Bank 'translation' might work after all:

Quote:

My love I to you want to tell what yes try to make once again
translation. Try to send once again money for the bank account. I love
you and I want to be with you as soon as possible.

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Wed Mar 13, 2013 11:45 pm

My Lena keeps pressing on like a true Comrade! I usually have Lara's Theme going through my head when I read this stuff as it seems to make it somewhat more palatable:

Quote:

I Love everything you so are negligent
Sometimes you name the,
And I like always too gently,
You for it me excuse.
I with excitement look at subjects,
On which your hand a trace.
And my sight opens secrets,
That you stored many years.
I like, when you narrate
About habitual - usual affairs.
I like, when you do not grieve
About worthless and boring things.
I love your courageous ideas,
I so am frequently sick of them.
I on them so frequently grieve,
Recollecting your words.
And still I like, when is simple
You look in my eyes.
With impatience you wait for a question,
Again something to me not having told.
But all this in comparison is insignificant-
Deeply will not mention me,
If to compare to that is possible for me
To write: " I love you! "

I'm not really getting you Lena but I'm glad there is plenty of Love going around....

Quote:

Loved I very much on you miss. My heart always wants to be near to you.
I want to hear your voice, to see your eyes. Your kind, gentle, the
sight - me of it now is full of love so does not suffice. It would be
desirable to be near to you and to look in your fine eyes close - is
close, on distance of breath. And your smile is that forces to forget
about all problems and griefs. For me time which has been lead with you
is very valuable. I so on you miss.

I wait for each meeting with impatience, as the child of New Year or
Birthday. Children love gifts. And for me you also are a gift granted to
heavens. I love you! Each time to me would not be desirable to leave you,
like all I understand, and heart to not appease. But it is not hard for
me, from your love it is easy and pleasant for me on soul. Even if it is
necessary to wait for our meeting very for a long time - I can. Because
of distance to like I shall not cease. Sometimes up to tears it would be
desirable to be a number. I miss, I long! But then I recollect time
which has been lead together, I smile ...

Whoa slow down there Lena! That almost made sense to me! Now cut that out! Actually lets change the subject shall we? How about you ask me about Kopeks and other Romantic stuff:

Quote:

My love I understand you about what you to me speak that transfer has
not passed from for technical problems. But I want to ask you? You have
other way of transfer to me of money? You can send money through the
western union or through MoneyGram or CONTACT??? Inform me it as soon as
possible??? I want to inform also to you that I have no more other
account in bank it one was only.

So much better! Vhatever your little heart desires!

Quote:

My love I want to inform you that I have no account and I already spoke
it to you. I asked rather that you have you the western union whether or
not?

Only one slice of Bacon? Shucks....

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:49 am

Normally in my Baits I put both sides on the table but as you have noticed all of of this is pretty much My Lena. I have been putting my Russian Literature 101 to good use mind you:

Quote:

The most beautiful of all women could only be born to be worshipped by that all is best in the world.

^ A touch of Taras Bulba.

Lena retorts:

Quote:

I love so strongly you,
I want to live all life, loving.
Nobody can forbid
You only to me to love.
And heart asks heat,
With you I do not see emptiness.
Only our happiness and love
Are capable to excite blood.
Pearl from the sea,
Secrets from the ground,
And feeling, as bondage,
Eats from within.
And if all know:
The hope - is the longest
Lives on light it,
That love, as a sin,
Lives and in a body transitory,
And on genes in centuries,
The love, she - is immortal
She, as emptiness,
Fills in all open spaces,
Also enables henceforth
And in glory of her to sing.
So let the love stores you
So let heart is strongly beaten
Love, as a brilliant, a granite
Kohl present, - is not beaten!

Exactly! I think....

Quote:

My love I want to inform you that the agency does not accept any credit
cards and also checks. I hope you of me have understood about it. They
accept only cash. My love inform me through what you still can send
money? You also inform me can send money for electronic purse WebMoney?
My love you know that such electronic money?? Inform me??? I have
electronic purse WebMoney. you could to transfer money for my electronic
purse from your credit card. If you can make it that I then I can remove
from purse WebMoney. you me have understood?? Inform me it??? You inform
me can send money for my electronic purse??? You can transfer from your
card to my electronic purse?? I shall wait from you for the answer???
Inform me as soon as possible??? I finish on it the letter and I shall
wait from you for the letter. I strong whole and strong embrace you.
Your Elena.

Wait a minute! Is she coming on to me? Her Electronic Purse? I ain't no dummy she is coming on to me!

Quote:

My love informs me as soon as possible you heard about WebMoney whether or not??

I'll have to get back to you in a bit Lena; after I Gogol it!

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Sat Mar 16, 2013 9:52 pm

My Lena forges ahead with her Vladishness:

Quote:

Hello my love!

Let love a wave sea
Ours creates dreams.
Can, the life other begins.
Come off vanity.

To not understand native and close-
In fact the love is similar to fire,
Too personally, too clean,
Highly - as light in a dawn.

Greetings of love inexhaustible essence.
That correct the world and at times destiny.
All spins and dissolves a way.
When the love plays above the ground.

Also the silent melancholy lasts.
When loss falls suddenly.
And to slide heavy tear.
In hope to find her again

BUT she appears to be fed up with John's distrust of 'Electronic Purses' and the like:

Quote:

My love I has offered you all my decisions that I could. I now do not
know as to you to suggest?? Send to me of money through the western
union. The western union should be in each city and in each country.
Tell to me you can send money through the western union?? Inform me it?
I to you also want to tell that I now am very sad that that about one
today I have no money from you because you only promise all to me
instead of do. I speak you to send through the western union you to me
you speak that you do not have there western union. How it can be??? The
western union is at you in city do not speak me it?? Or it is simple you
do not know??? Send to me yours the name of city and I shall send you
the information where there is in your city a western union. I simply
start to think of that that you with me simply play and do not want to
be a catfish me!! It so?? You play with me? Inform me it??

Speaking of fish, I was in OKC a couple of years ago at a place called Redrock (or something like that) and asked the waiter how fresh the 'Catch of the Day' was. He responded with "Very fresh Sir. We have it flown in from Albuquerque." I had the beef....

Quote:

Hello my fine and the most dear the man on light!

Love - the fine country,
Where dreams are executed.
I cannot forget you,
In fact you are more dear than all to me only.
Love - as a thin string,
Her to destroy so it is easy.
But if she is strong,-
Nobody will break her.

The love is not simply a word,
The deep sense in it lays.
And I admit to you again:
My soul burns fire.

I dream days, I dream nights
I only, only about you.
And my heart again wants
To be only with you always, everywhere!

You and torment a flame that plays.
You a wind and violent passion.
In you anyone callous withers.
In you there is a will and certainly authority.
You light and a shadow hackneyed centuries.
Compose for you one verses.
You infinity for you all life.

John could to resist a 'Poetic' response:

Quote:

I see Kalach
I see Bryansk
I see Lena's Underpants

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

next victimBaiting Guru

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Posts: 21168

Posted:
Sat Mar 16, 2013 10:30 pm

Quote:

Speaking of fish, I was in OKC a couple of years ago at a place called Redrock (or something like that) and asked the waiter how fresh the 'Catch of the Day' was. He responded with "Very fresh Sir. We have it flown in from Albuquerque."

ROTFLMAO! I used to keep a lot of fish in the freezer when I was running trotlines and landlines at the river. I have to settle for fresh bass now.

^If I get a chance tomorrow I'll post my favourite photo from an OK fishing trip (or any fishing trip actually). I've been laughing about it for just about a year now.

John's somewhat offended response to Lena seems to have done the trick:

Quote:

Hello my love!!!
I am very glad to receive from you the letter
I to you want to tell that I did not want to offend you simply concerning that that you does not try to make so that we
with you were together. I bring the apologies if you have offended. I love you and I want to be only with you as soon
as possible. Simply and you me understand that I have made all that is possible. Simply I that suggest you you to me
refuse. My love we then should find with you an output from this situation. We should find a way through what it is
possible to send me of money. We with you should think. My love I know that some banks take a plenty of the tax at a
parcel of money. My love I to you want to tell that you have once again tried to send on the bank account for name
Sharova Mariya. if not it will turn out to send again money that ask in bank in what the reason??? You have understood
me?? You inform me can send once again on the bank account whether or not?

I just wish I knew what the heck she was talking about.

Quote:

Hello my fine and the most dear the man on light!

Snow white - white,
Storm rain,
Silently, ineptly
We to love go.

Whatever happened,
There will be we always.
In fact knowingly on lovely
The love is given to us.

I like, therefore
Better to be I want,
Whether also in the winter, whether in the summer
I to you fly.

The streamlet, raging, from mountain flows down in the river,
And sparks scatter around.
Well, tell, it is necessary for the person,
To not break off that a life a circle?

And suddenly we understand, that it is more necessary
There is nothing on light, than love,
More strongly is not present, more beautifully and more gently,
And why blood suddenly begins to boil.

How to me to tell and express me as?
What I feel, when on fire of love?
In love is the solar odd fellow,
With fire in soul and with a flame in blood.

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

oscarpilesCustard Kitty Cat

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6152
Location: Looking at Alfoboobs

Posted:
Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:50 pm

And so it carries on:

Quote:

Hello my fine and the most dear the man on light!

I very much value you,
And I do not find a place,
Kohl you not near to me,
And I dream under the moon
You to see more likely,
Your lips to kiss,
In your eyes to sink,
In your embraces to fall asleep.

It happens, that they in separation.
Between us ocean, a taiga, snows.
But remember constantly about each other,
Also it seems, that beside a true hand.
And can frequently be: the spouse
Have forgotten about each other...

Verse on love to you I compose!
In madness of melancholy I burn!
I love you, I like, I like!
In your eyes always I look,
Irrevocably I love them!
Your attention I appreciate,
You whole, I adore,
With you griefs I satisfy!
And all to you, always I forgive!

Quote:

Hello my fine and the most dear the man on light!

Not in size happiness,
Not in money and days,-
And in love and in passion,
In good news!

Not in a pursuit of dream,
Not in meal with wine.
And in family native,-
Where rest lives.

I shall express all laughter and pleasure
In the verses, let know all!
The love to me has brought all sweet,
What exists on the ground.

There is no better an affair, than to like.
Everywhere all is kind also to us are glad.
You to me will not bring disappointment.
Now I know precisely,
We were fastened by the love union strongly
And on the river of a life we together and by swimming.
Well and what for happiness it is necessary?
With me beside you, and affairs everyone go.
We eat together - griefs will pass.

Actually Lena I'd rather hear about something else. Yeah I like uninspired, badly translated Russian poetry as much as the next man but what else do you have for me?

Quote:

My love I want to inform you that which I have sent that account to you.
There it is possible it is necessary to send only in dollars. I hope you
of me have understood?? Inform me it?? Last time when you tried to send
money that in what currencies sent?? In dollars?? Inform me?

Okay that wasn't what I really had in mind. Who knew that Leutonian Currency was unacceptable?

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

Once there was a love,
Now only its splinters,
That brightly shine on the sun,
And you will touch - you will be cut in blood.

Once there was a spring,
Now, as though autumn,
That the ground rains mows
Also the failure of a window is sad.

Someone whispers to me in calm:
We have met you not casually,
And on command of angelic soul-
She has learned our secret.

We dreamed to learn love,
To feel, as heart cries.
Once have met - and again
Only the happiness will disturb us.

That seems a bit morbid in my opinion but then again I'm not really sure Vhat the Heck My Lena speaks of either.

Quote:

My love I to you want to tell that on the account you should send my girlfriend Mariya
money in dollars in ($)!!! You have understood me? And differently money simply will not
reach. Send money in ($). As soon as my girlfriend will receive your money she can easily
receive them from you in Russian roubles roubles. You now have well understood me???
Inform me if you have understood me that money it is necessary to send in ($)!!! I wait
from you for the answer?? And also inform me when you will try now to send money???

_________________* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits

View next topicView previous topic
You cannot post new topics in this forumYou cannot reply to topics in this forumYou cannot edit your posts in this forumYou cannot delete your posts in this forumYou cannot vote in polls in this forum