Letters to the Editor

It’s late and I’m tired and barely coherent (not unusual at any hour, actually ), but I had to drop you a line and let you know that I stumbled across your site tonight and just loved it. I’m sure you get your share of hate mail, so I just wanted to offer my little voice of appreciation for your work. Sorry, I don’t have anything deeply theological or philosophical to add — just a simple thank you. I found your site immensely moving — it made me feel good, it made me smile (not in a dorky “gee-whillikers” way, but smiles of recognition and understanding), it made me feel hopeful. Thanks. Thanks very much.

Tom L.

Editor:

I just wanted to let you know how wonderful I feel your Web site is. I grew up with many of the same prejudices as many americans toward Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual people until my eyes were opened by several members of my own family. I watched my baby brother struggle with being homosexual and the pain caused by the secular church that should offer acceptance and love then I watched a grandson and I knew from about age 2 or 3 he was going to be gay. I saw these two beautiful people, both so kind and loving, and I started to reach out to God and ask for understanding. I could not believe that something made by God was a mistake and slowly the words of the Bible were revealed to me and I saw that God loves all people that we all are born with faults that none are perfect but it is the blood of Jesus that makes us all perfect in the eyes of God that covers our sin no matter what it is. We assign weight to sin, not God, and all of us are as important to God as the next person. I love what you are doing and I just wanted to say Thank you and God Bless you.

Love through Christ,

Linda

Editor:

Nothing bashing, as I am an open minded person…to anything that can be backed, supported, or proven. I still do not agree at all with homosexuality or bi-sexuality, and definitely not transexuality. I read what you had to say with an open mind, and I will say you make a few good points and present your material well, although some of it is “iffy” and assertive (well, much like anything even most Christian views today) and further research is needed on my part to validate some things.

Anyway, my question to you is kind of personal. Does it not bother you that homosexuality and transexuality goes completely against what God has setup and created and the way He set things to be? If you just look at the pure biological and scientific perspective of it, you are going against nature, which was created by God. Man was MEANT to be with woman, man was meant to mate with woman, sex was designed and created to be between a man and a woman – to procreate and make children – to survive as a species. Just look at the mechanics of it LOL! Look at mammals in general. Going beyond this would be naive and soaking in denial!

You can be who you are. I can’t change that but at the very least I would like to see “you people” acknowledge at least that it is not “right” or “correct” for lack of a better term. For instance, I know I am a sinner, and sometimes I commit sins even when I know I shouldn’t or can’t help it (not only that, but it never ends). But I ask for forgiveness after I realize it was wrong (every time it is required). Thoughts?

-Tony

Editor Candace Chellew Responds:

Thanks for your letter, Tony.

The “complimentarity” argument is certainly nothing new. It goes hand in hand with the argument that homosexuality is “against nature.” But, if we look at nature we find many mammals that practice homosexuality.

Yes, the “mechanics” of sex may well be that “tab a goes into slot b,” but is that the only criteria you use when you think about sex? Is love not a factor? Is attraction, both mentally, physically and spiritually not a factor? When you, as a straight man, look at woman do you think, “my, her slot b will accomodate tab a rather nicely?” Of course not.

There’s so much more to sexuality than mechanics and physical complimentarity. Yes, some men are made for women and vice versa, but science and nature clearly shows us that some men are made for men and some women for women.

If we’re just talking plain old mechanics of sex then science shows also that one of the most sexually sensitive spots on a man is his prostate gland that is only stimulated during anal sex! And how about women? Digital stimulation as well as oral stimulation is quite mechanically sound and effective with women whether performed by other women or men!

Mechanically speaking there are many ways in which sex “works” for people. True, none of these methods are procreative, but except for the most conservative of religious folk, no one makes the argument anymore that all sex must lead to offspring. If that argument was followed to its logical conclusion then infertile couples and elderly couples would be sinning every time they engaged in love making. Are you willing to step out and condemn such things? Probably not. But, you are in line with those who would condemn gay sex because it’s not procreative or “mechanically” correct in your understanding.

So, bottom line, I don’t think “nature” proves homosexuality wrong — if anything it proves that it IS quite natural. Also, complimentarity in body parts does not equal complimentarity in other more important areas like physical attraction, or spiritual or mental connection with another person.

As a happy, well-adjusted, lesbian Christian, I see nothing wrong with embracing my God-given sexual orientation.

But thanks for your letter, just the same.

Blessings,

Candace Chellew

Editor

Editor:

I just “found” your on-line magazine while net surfing. What a treasure! I, too, have wanted to read Christian magazines but got tired of being slammed in every article.

What a contribution you are making to the GLBT Christian community! I look forward to reading all of this fine, magazines’ articles in the days ahead.

A BIG thank you and God Bless.

Christine

Editor:

Just caught your publication today — it was a link from one of our United Methodist Churches that has issued a statement on Holy Union.

Thanks for taking on the difficult task of putting on the internet all that GREAT information for lgbt persons who are struggling with how it is OK to be Christian. I’m very involved in the Reconciling Ministry Network in the UMC. One of our sorrows is how difficult it is for us to identify churches in the SouthEast to be Welcoming. Keep up the great work!

In Christ, Chip

Editor:

This may seem like a really weird question but I was just wondering if all the stuff on your Web site is true. I just know a lot of things are done to be politically correct. I’m 16 and live in a southern Baptist home, ever since I learned what sex was I’ve been told Homosexuality is a horrible sin; now that I’m pretty sure I’m gay I have no idea what to do. It didn’t really bother me until a couple of years ago when I had gay feelings. I’ve always considered myself to be a good Christian so I just don’t understand why this would happen. Coming to your website was like my whole world turning over. I really don’t know how to feel right now. I really want to believe in your Web site but it just goes completely against everything I’ve been told. I don’t if I should go with what your Web site says or just keep praying to become straight. Anyway sorry for rambling I’m just really confused I guess.

Steve

Editor Candace Chellew responds:

Dear Steve,

Yes, everything on the Web site is true. It IS possible to reconcile your sexuality and your spirituality.

I, too, prayed for God to make me straight when I finally admitted the homosexual feelings I had been experiencing all through my teen years. I struggled mightly with the Southern Baptist doctrine I had been taught about homosexuality. I left God for many years, and didn’t darken the doorway of a church for a long time.

When I did finally come back to church (at an MCC, a gay affirming church — check out their website.) I had trouble with the pro-gay interpretations of scripture. I thought they were reaching … trying to make the scripture say something it didn’t say. After all, for hundreds of years we’ve interpreted the passages as condemning homosexuality in any form, right?

I took the matter to God and asked for the answers to be made plain … and they were. God never abandoned me, even though I abandoned God. I look back on my “godless” years and discover that God had been with me all the time. Miracles happened under my nose and I didn’t even notice. When I came back to God, I found God’s arms outstretched to welcome me back like the prodigal (daughter) that I was.

I discovered that all those years ago when I thought God was ignoring my plea to be made straight that he had given me an answer … NO. There was no need to be made straight since it was never God’s intention for my life! He created me to be a lesbian … a lesbian child of God … loved, cherished and blessed.

Since I embraced both my God-given sexual orientation AND my spirituality, the blessings have been enormous! God has shown me great things and has cultivated my spirit and given me peace that passes understanding.

I know it’s hard to go against the conventional wisdom and the traditional interpretations of scripture. But, if you look at what Jesus was all about … he never said word one about homosexuality … and his overall message was not one of “love the sinner, hate the sin” but of “love the sinner, forgive the sin.” Our sins, whatever they may be, are forgiven when we embrace Christ. We are saved by faith, not works. Giving up your natural sexuality in order to gain favor with God is not necessary. God has already given you favor. It’s humans who urge you to give up your sexuality. God knows you’re gay because God made you that way! Don’t give up on God just because some people hold a narrow view of the Bible. God is bigger than the Bible, bigger than any religion or dogma. God’s love is unconditional, and grace covers us no matter what.

Could we be wrong? Sure … but so could those who tell us we’re condemned. God knows our hearts and God knows the path we need to be on. Pray about your journey. Don’t jump too fast in either direction, either toward or away from your sexual orientation. Search your heart, search the scriptures, and search out Web sites and other resources that can help you as you seek to reconcile your sexuality and your spirituality.

You’re in my prayers, Steve. Please, let me know how things are going. If there are other questions I can answer, don’t hesitate to ask. I’ve been where you are and I know your confusion and pain very well. Give them to God. God knows your heart and your path. Trust God to show it to you.

Blessings,

Candace Chellew

Editor

Editor:

Thank You so very much for such an informative place in the web. Your site has helped me tremedously. I am a lesbian and recently my brother had told my mother that I was committing a sin and that she was just as guilty as I because she treats my partner as one of her own.

Your site has helped me to show her that the verses from the Bible he chose were taken out of context, and that he, like so many others, don’t know the Bible as well as they may think they do. I tried to explain this to her before after all I had been a Sunday school teacher for 4 years.

Once others in the parish found out I was gay they judged me and sent me out if the church asking me to not return. I now do not attend church. Instead, I read and study my Bible at home everyday. I just wanted to say that I love your site keep up the good work I realize it’s hard sometimes but with God’s grace it all works out in the end