This is a call to all Americans to stop occupying things. Can’t you see that by making all this noise about how unjust our economic system is that you are hurting job creators. And we were just about to take our $1.8 trillion in surplus cash and create some jobs, but you had to ruin things.

Why is it that these occupy people hate capitalism. Capitalism is working quite well for us billionaires. And as Herman Cain makes clear, if you’re not a billionaire, you have only yourself to blame. Sure we helped pass laws that benefit only us. You too can have laws written for you, but you are too lazy to buy Congress members to do your bidding. Why not hire some lobbyists who use free speech to get our agenda through Congress? President to be Cain was right; if you’re not rich, you have only yourself to blame.

First, you accuse us of sending jobs overseas. Well, if you want a job, move to China or Indonesia. We send jobs where the workers are, why don’t you move to where the jobs are?

Then you accuse us of manipulating the markets and betting against our overvalued mortgage bundles and by creating hedge funds. If only you had created your own hedge funds, you too would have been rich.

Some liberal whiners want to TAX the job creators. My Dollar Almighty! Why should we have to pay our share of the benefits we reap from society when we are the only ones contributing to the wealth? The occupy movements have it all wrong. We should get things for free and you should pay our taxes for us, for without us job creators, you wouldn’t exist. It’s a tribute you must pay to us because of our magnificence. At least we won’t chop off you heads like Genghis Khan would have if you didn’t pay tribute, yet.

The occupy movement has no focus, because without one talking point, it’s too hard to understand. Do you expect us to read your manifesto? That’s over 600 words and we are too busy laying people off and paying out bonuses to read things.

Here are a few of the things our members think they saw on Wall Street and why you should be afraid of the protesters. We know they hate capitalism, are violent and will invade your homes; Bill O’Reilly and Fox News told us. If you watch the videos of protesters being beaten and pepper sprayed, you will see how dangerous they are.

But that’s not all. We interviewed other reliable sources on how to fear the protesters.

“There are witches on Wall Street that want to turn you into a toad, or worse, make you poor,” says Salem Tribunal II. “I swear I saw them fly around on brooms.”

“They are pod people from outer space who will invade the bodies of Wall Street bankers and ruin us all,” screams Connie Spiracy III.

Christian Striker of the Alien Defense League Enforcement Division, A.D.L.E.D., testifies, “They are mutants, with mutant powers, and they will control your minds and invade your bead at night and make you believe that the top 1% don’t deserve all our nation’s wealth and political control.

An anonymous source states that, “They are Yeti abortion communists!”

The facts are in. The occupy movement is dangerous because they remind you how good we billionaires have it at your expense. But mostly they are dangerous because they make average Americans realize they can make a difference and have a voice.