Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Condolences

rhyme: (no rhyme)

I haven't had the determination to post anything over the last month, but I guess this deserves to be posted.

My condolences to the Gan family as they're their eldest son Jonathan returned to the Lord on the 9th of August.The only way I got to know of Jon's conditions was through some small talk involving Zane and Summer - his siblings who're my schoolmates. When I first heard of it, I didn't think much of it.It was only until the day Zane couldn't attend pesta with me due to his brothers condition that I realized how serious this really was.Went to visit him one day with someone else one day. I truly didn't expect to see Jon that way. I thought that he was just sick, that he could still talk. The reality of it hit me hard. Real hard. The thought of Summer and Zane having to deal with this at their age was mind-boggling. Even at my age, I wouldn't want to be losing anyone of my family members to cancer or anything for that matter.After my first visit, I didn't go back until weeks later with my mum. My eyes popped open when I saw him. The last time, he was still able to sit on a chair, open his eyes, look around... This time, he just lay there! I knew he wasn't improving that much, but I certainly didn't expect to see him that way. That day, his mum invited me to his birthday party that very week.So I went after some prompting by Zane and Sean (schoolmate and cousin of Jon), joined his family including cousins aunty uncles and all in a time of worship and celebration of his birthday. It was during the worship that I realized how very very strong his mum is! To be able to go through this with her son and still take care of two other children and still stay positive with so much of faith. She's the strongest person I've met thus far in my life. His mum's so cool. She can talk about anything.I didn't go back to visit him after that, just got updates through Zane and kept him and his family in my prayers. My prayer was always focused on how whatever happened, it'll be according to His will. But at the back of my mind, I really wanted Jon to recover and not leave.The morning I found out that he passed on, I almost didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe that Zane and Summer lost their brother. I didn't want to believe that their mum lost her son. I didn't want to believe.Went to visit him after school. Saw him in the coffin. Saw his mum. Saw his cousins. Saw his siblings. Saw his aunts and uncles. The atmosphere there was just simply sad. I couldn't use other words to describe it, because it just won't do. I really could see how much of an impact he made in everyone's life and how much everyone will miss him dearly.This part of life, as i would call it, is just part of God's great plan. We may not always see why things are the way it is, but there are a few things that were distinct. Like how much closer the whole family have become, how much more I got to know Zane and Summer, how I got to know his super cool and super strong mum, how I got to see how much a person's life can impact others. And that's just me! Imagine all the other people who've gone through this experience and just imagine that there are more things that would happen through this. Far greater and better than our human mind can possibly imagine! I will never forget this. Never.