Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Please view this in the context that it has been portrayed, ie., light humor - it is just that there are too many religious bulletins coming out and the mind is getting out of hand.

Hence the below...

The Lord went to the Arabs and said, 'I have Commandments for you that will make Your lives better.'

The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?' And the Lord said, 'They are rules for Living.'

Can you give us an example?' 'Thou shall not kill.' 'Not kill? We're not interested.'

So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord Said, 'Honor thy Father and Mother.'

'Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested.'

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.' 'Not steal? We're not interested.'

Then He went to the French and said, I have Commandments.'

The French too wanted an example and the Lord Said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'

Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments.' 'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are They?' 'They're free.'

'We'll take 10.'

There, that should offend just about Everybody.

Once again, this is just a joke and it is not an intention to hurt any specific person, or religion... some of my best friends are from the religions mentioned above, and they did have a good laugh at this...

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Was watching the idiot box yesterday, and noticed that the Indian Condom
market had been given an extensive makeover.. There are multiple brands now in the market, and the models openly advertise the policy of multiple partners, but sex should be safe and hence the product.

I remember at one point in time it was so difficult to convince a male to wear one in this
part of the world.. perhaps it is the Indian male "hangup".....

Now
just imagine what happened if a variety of companies decided to enter the condom
market.. say Nike.. No doubt, it would be a great hit.. With a catch
phrase of "Just Do It" would not only remove any misgivings on the product, but would also transcend any cultural barriers...

Now
to go one step further, just imagine if all major retailers started
making their own condoms and kept the same tag-line... beginning with
Nike..

Nike - Just Do It

Tesco Condoms - every little helpsGalaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.KFC Condoms - Finger licking good.Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hands.Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load.Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going.Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stopBurger King Condoms - Home of the whopperGoodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wideFCUK condoms - no comment required.Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain.Halfords condoms - we go the extra mile.Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very longRenault condoms - size really does matter!Ronseal condoms - does exactly what it says on the tinRonseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in 30 minutesDomestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!! (Please)Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reachCarlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the worldAA Condoms - for the 4th emergency servicePepperami condoms - it's a bit of an animalPolo condoms - the condom with the hole!!!

Now to "close" the topic with an anecdote.... no offense please..

To avoid a condom related accident use 2 condoms with chilli powder in
between them if outer breaks she will know and if inner one breaks you
will know !

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston .. After
almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and
they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a
room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on
the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk
hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the
charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the
rooms certainly aren't worth $350 .. When the clerk tells him $350 is
the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The
Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel
has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were
available for the husband and wife to use. "But we didn't use them," the
man complains ... "Well, they are here, and you could have," explains
the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the
shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New
York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says. "But we
didn't go to any of those shows, "complains the man again .. "Well, we
have them, and you could have," the Manager replies ... No matter what
facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The
Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay
.. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager ... The Manager is
surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says, this check is
only made out for $50."..... "That's correct," says the man. "I charged
you $300 for sleeping with my wife." .. "But I didn't!" exclaims the
Manager.. Well, too bad," the man replies... "She was here and you could
have."

Quick thinking.....

Similarly in marketing, it is those who can come up with such glib, make it to the top !\

PROFILE

Movie junkie, laughaholic, dreamer, and freethinker, who is used-less. A
wordsmith, who provides content writing, SEO, SMM, and content
marketing services. I live with my amusing wife, five eccentric dogs,
and a silly mouser known as Soap, which collectively caters to my daily
mirth.