text
stringlengths 0
13.1M
| source
stringclasses 9
values |
|---|---|
How to solve for amplitude w.r.t time for a dad pushing his daughter on the swing with periodic force impulses? [closed]
**Closed.** This question is [off-topic](/help/closed-questions). It is not currently accepting answers.
---
Homework-like questions should **ask about a specific physics concept** and **show some effort** to work through the problem. We want our questions to be useful to the broader community, and to future users. See [our meta site](https://physics.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/714/) for more guidance on how to edit your question to make it better
Closed 7 years ago.
[Improve this question](/posts/252873/edit)
A Dad is pushing his daughter on a swing. The homogeneous push lasts for α = 10% of the period and is centered around the phase φ = 0. The Fourier series expansion for this is,
$$
f(t)=\alpha+\sum\_{n=1}^{\infty}\frac{2}{n\pi}\,sin(n\pi\alpha)\,cos(2\pi nt)
$$
where α is the fraction of the period that the push is applied. The swing can be treated as a harmonic oscillator with friction. Let the period of the corresponding undamped oscillator be the same as the period the Dad is pushing with.
How do I analytically solve for the amplitude as a function of time for the undamped and then damped case?
I expected the undamped case to have a factor of $e^{-kt}$ where $k$ is a constant to be found. However, I haven't managed to get that, and on the computed plot I only have a periodic graph with two amplitude values with higher amplitudes for every other full period.
Note:
1. For values that are unspecified, any reasonable substitute is suffice.
2. Please specify the differential equation form used, for the undamped, and then damped case.
Whatever you are doing, I think you are making this too complicated. The normal way to solve this problem (approximately) is to ignore all the terms in the Fourier expansion, except the one at the resonant frequency of the swing. Then the solution is just the normal time-dependent solution for a damped oscillator forced on resonance.
| stackexchange/physics |
lempel - ziv complexity measure @xcite ( from now on lz76 complexity ) has been used to analyze data sequences from different sources , theoretical or experimental @xcite . in an early paper
, ziv showed that the asymptotic value of the lz76 complexity growth rate ( lz76 complexity normalized by @xmath1 , where @xmath2 is the length of the sequence ) is related to the entropy rate ( as defined by shannon information theory ) for and ergodic source @xcite . this theorem is essential at using the lz76 complexity as an entropy rate estimator for finite sequences .
entropy rate has a close relationship with algorithmic complexity , also known as kolmogorov - chaitin complexity .
algorithmic complexity measures the length of the shortest program , run in a universal turing machine , that allows to reproduce the analyzed sequence .
it was introduced as an attempt to avoid probabilistic arguments in analyzing single data sets @xcite .
it is closely related to randomness , as infinite sequence with maximum algorithmic complexity are random . as random sequences have maximum entropy rate , it is often inferred that finite sequences with maximum lz76 complexity are necessarily as random as they can be and viceversa @xcite , yet neither of these two assumptions are true as was recently demonstrated @xcite . in an earlier paper @xcite , the authors showed that from the algorithmic nature of the lz76 factorization , there is a definite way to construct maximum lz76 complexity sequences ( we will call such sequences mlzs ) , that allows a much sorter description that the string itself . in this paper
we will discuss the properties of such sequences .
consider a sequence @xmath3 , where symbols are drawn from a finite alphabet @xmath4 of cardinality @xmath5 .
let @xmath6 be the substring @xmath7 taken from @xmath8 and of length j - i+1 .
it is understood that if @xmath9 we take up to the last character @xmath10 of @xmath11 .
if @xmath12 then @xmath6 will be the empty string .
let the drop operator @xmath13 be defined as @xmath14 and , consequently , @xmath15 the lempel - ziv factorization @xmath16 of the string @xmath11 @xmath17 in @xmath18 factors is such , that each factor @xmath19 complies with 1 .
@xmath20 2 .
@xmath21 except , perhaps , for the last factor @xmath22 .
the first condition defines @xmath16 as a history of @xmath11 , while the second condition defines such history as an exhaustive history of @xmath11 .
the partition @xmath16 is unique for every string @xcite . for example the exhaustive history of the sequence @xmath23
is @xmath24 where each factor is delimited by a dot . the lz76 complexity @xmath25 @xmath26 of the sequence @xmath11 ,
is then defined as the number of factors in its exhaustive history . in the example
above , @xmath25=6 . in the limit of very large string length ,
@xmath25 is bounded by @xcite @xmath27 it has been discussed @xcite that this limit is attained for extremely long strings that can go beyond @xmath28 for the binary case , being even worse for larger alphabets ( see below ) .
let the entropy rate be given by @xmath29}{n}\ ] ] where @xmath30 $ ] is the shannon block entropy @xcite of the string @xmath31 . then , defining @xmath32 ziv @xcite proved that , if @xmath11 is the output from an ergodic source , then @xmath33
for a given length @xmath34 , there will be @xmath35 different strings ( @xmath36 is the cardinality of the alphabet ) .
consider the following generating algorithm introduced in @xcite 1 .
take @xmath37 .
2 . build the set @xmath38 of all strings of length @xmath39.[stepset ] 3 .
( test step ) consider in lexicographic order an element @xmath40 , and take the string @xmath41 resulting from the concatenation of @xmath11 and @xmath42 . if @xmath43 append @xmath42 to @xmath11 , ignore otherwise.[teststep ] 4 .
repeat step [ teststep ] until all elements of @xmath38 have been considered or , @xmath44 .
if @xmath45 , set @xmath46 and return to step [ stepset ] .
if @xmath47 , truncate @xmath11 to length n from the end . 7
stop the algorithm will generate by construction a string of length @xmath48 of maximum lempel ziv complexity .
an example for an alphabet @xmath49 will start by the alphabet symbols @xmath50 next , consider the set of all length two strings : @xmath51 .
the first element of the set will be a component of the exhaustive history of the sequence , so it will be append to the string @xmath52 the second element in the set @xmath53 is already present as the substring @xmath54 , thus , it is discarded .
the third , fourth , fifth and last element contributes to the exhaustive history @xmath55 now turn to the length three set of strings and repeat the same procedure and so forth .
it is clear that the above algorithm will yield a maximum lz76 complexity string for a given string length @xmath48 . by construction
, the maximum lz76 complexity string is not unique .
if we choose to test the candidate factor in any other order besides lexicographic order , a different sequence will happen .
the set of all maximum lz76 complexity sequences has been called mlzs .
the asymptotic bounding value for the lz76 complexity given by equation ( [ asymp ] ) , is deduced from the limit to the asymptotic function @xcite @xmath56\log{n}}.\ ] ] where @xmath57 is a slowly decaying function of @xmath48 .
it should be emphasized that one problem with equation ( [ epsilonasymp ] ) is that its interval of validity is given by the condition @xmath58 , which is not the case for every value of @xmath48 .
figure [ epsilonfig]a shows the value of @xmath48 for which @xmath59 for increasing alphabet size @xmath36 . for an alphabet size of @xmath60 ,
the validity is already in the order of @xmath61 .
even worse , @xmath62 is a very slowly decaying function of @xmath48 , figure [ epsilonfig]b plots the value of the @xmath48 for which @xmath63 for increasing alphabet size .
already for the binary alphabet , the value of @xmath48 is of the order of @xmath28 , and can reach @xmath64 for alphabet size @xmath65 ( cardinality of western languages alphabets ) . the bound value given by equation ( [ asymp ] ) is only reached for extremely large strings and on the other hand , the bound value given by equation ( [ epsilonasymp ] ) is , for small , and not so small , values of @xmath48 a to gross approximation .
indeed , figure [ epsilonmlzs ] shows the lz76 complexity of the mlzs , equation ( [ asymp ] ) and equation ( [ epsilonasymp ] ) .
it is evident that while the asymptotic value is not an upper bound for the lz76 complexity up to @xmath0 symbols , the bound given by equation ( [ epsilonasymp ] ) is well above the maximum lz76 complexity attainable .
mlzs are non - random strings by construction , this is probably its most striking property .
ziv theorem @xcite , given by equation ( [ zivtheorem ] ) , could wrongly induce to infer that random strings of finite length should achieve the maximum possible lz76 complexity for that length .
this is not the case as has been already reported @xcite .
a truly random source will output any string of length @xmath48 with probability @xmath66 , without regard for the actual string being produced . a typical random string ,
will be given by any string that can pass the universal martin - lf test of randomness @xcite .
such string will have several properties one of which , is maximum algorithmic complexity as well as , normality in borel sense @xcite .
a sequence is considered normal in borel sense , if the probability of occurrence of all @xmath34-length patterns are equal , and tend to @xmath67 for infinite strings .
it has been reported that mlzs are not normal in borel sense @xcite .
louchard and szpankowski @xcite has studied the probability distribution of factors length in a lempel - ziv factorization slightly different from the one studied in this contribution.they found that for a biased bernoulli model ( symbols are drawn from a binary alphabet with different probability @xmath68 and @xmath69 ) , the distribution of length follows a gaussian law .
figure [ histolength]a shows the length distribution for both the random sequence factorization , and the mlzs factorization using the lz76 scheme described above .
the string length was taken as @xmath70 and @xmath71 strings for each case were taken .
results are from the average values .
the random string shows a gaussian distribution with mean length value of @xmath72 and standard deviation of @xmath73 .
the mlzs , on the other hand , exhibit a length distribution far from being gaussian with an sudden cut - off length value of @xmath74 , where the number of factors of length above this value falls abruptly .
we normalize the number of factors for each length @xmath39 , by the total number of strings of that given length @xmath75 , the results is shown in figure [ histolength ] .
each value corresponds to the fraction of factors of length @xmath39 that actually comes into the factorization .
the behavior for both the random and the mlzs strings are similar in nature , decreasing with factor length . for all lengths , the fraction of factors in the random strings are smaller that those for the mlzs .
w e can calculate a shannon entropy related magnitude over the length distribution as @xmath76 where @xmath77 is a probability defined by the fraction of factors of length @xmath39 in the lz factorization of @xmath11 , relative to the total number of different binary strings of length @xmath39 ( @xmath75 ) .
it must be noted that this is not strictly a true shannon entropy , as the sum of the probabilities @xmath77 are not normalized . for the random string this gives a value @xmath78 compared with @xmath79 for the mlzs .
there is more surprise , on average , in the length distribution of the random string that the one found in the mlzs , which corresponds to less uniform distribution of the mlzs compared to the random case .
it may be asked if the complexity of the resulting mlzs are significantly sensitive to the ordering chosen in the testing step , this seems not to be the case .
five thousand sequences were built using random ordering in the test step .
figure [ histomlzs]a shows the histogram of the lz76 complexity value for length ranging from @xmath80 to @xmath81 symbols , it can be seen that the dispersion of values is very narrow for each length .
figure [ histomlzs]b shows that the relative standard deviation falls rapidly with increasing sequence length , being already below @xmath82 for the @xmath80 symbol sequences . the mlzs are by construction non stationary and non random
. the non stationary character of the mlzs is result of the construction procedure .
how sensitive are the mlzs to the starting point for factorization can be seen in figure [ stationarity ] .
the figure plots the estimated entropy rate for the mlzs , starting the factorization at different positions of the mlz string .
all strings where @xmath70 length . the entropy rate was estimated from the lz76 complexity value for the whole string , normalized by the lz76 complexity of the original mlzs .
it can be seen that the entropy rate drops as we factorize starting further along the mlzs strings .
we corrupted the mlzs strings with white noise in order to study their sensibility to noise .
a fraction @xmath68 of sites chosen randomly were flipped in the original mlzs . for such corrupted vector of values ,
the lz76 factorization was carried out and the lz76 complexity calculated .
the entropy rate was estimated using the lz76 normalization .
for each @xmath68 value , @xmath83 strings were used for the calculation and averaged values are reported .
figure [ mlzsnoise ] shows the behavior of the estimated entropy with percentage of noise .
there is an abrupt fall of entropy rate up to @xmath84 and then , a slight increase followed by a certain stabilization can be observed .
finally , the mlzs was modeled using the empirical ansatz @xmath85 where @xmath86 , @xmath87 are fitting parameters .
the @xmath88 value for the fit was nearly one ( @xmath89 ) .
the fitted @xmath87 value was @xmath90 , very close to @xmath91 which corresponds to the expected asymptotic value , while @xmath86 was fitted to @xmath92 .
figure [ fitmlzs]a shows the agreement of the fitted function with the actual data in a log scale .
the absolute relative errors of the fitted function with the data values ( residuals ) are shown in figure [ fitmlzs]b , the relative errors do not exceed the @xmath93 for string lengths above @xmath94 symbols .
maximum lempel - ziv complexity sequence are far from random and can be generated by a deterministic algorithm of size @xmath95 which makes them of negligible algorithmic complexity , exactly the opposite to a random string .
mlzs are mostly insensitive to the order in which the possible factors in the exhaustive history are tested .
mlzs do not show normality in borel sense and the factor length distributions departs markedly from the gaussian distribution with an abrupt cut - off value for large enough factors .
compared to the random sequence , the mlzs have smaller shannon entropy of the length distribution .
the analytical asymptotic values in used , are only valid for very large sequences that can go up to @xmath28 symbols .
mlzs are strongly non stationary and a gradually loss of entropy rate happens as we start factorization dropping larger initial segments of the sequence . the same behavior was observed when the mlzs were corrupted with white noise , in this case an abrupt drop of entropy rate down to 0.89 happened , when only 0.06 fraction of sites were flipped .
we finally introduced an empirical ansatz for describing the lz76 complexity of the mlzs which behaved very good in the whole range of sequence lengths , with relative error not surpassing 2% .
e. estevez - rams and rls which to thanks fapemig ( bpv-00039 - 12 ) for financial assistance in mobility .
universidad de la habana and universidad de la ciencias informticas are acknowledge for partial financial support and computational infrastructure . from the normalized lz76 complexity for the mlzs strings as a function of the starting index @xmath100 , where the factorization begins .
entropy rate was estimated by normalizing the lz76 complexity for the full length sequence , by the same length complexity of the original mlzs .
the mlzs strings had it first @xmath100 symbols dropped before lz76 factorization was performed .
the variation in the lz76 complexity points to the non stationary character of the strings .
each sequence had a total size of @xmath70 symbols , the calculation was performed @xmath83 times and average values were taken . ] for the mlzs strings as a function of percentage of white noise .
entropy rate was estimated as in figure [ stationarity ] .
@xmath68 is the fraction of sites in the string where a flip of the value was performed .
the flipped sites were taken randomly .
each sequence had a total size of @xmath70 symbols , the calculation was performed @xmath83 times and average values were taken . ] | arxiv |
lattice calculations of scattering lengths and phase shifts for the pion system is an important step for understanding of strong interactions beyond the hadron mass spectrum .
there are already several studies of scattering lengths in literature . for the @xmath4 process calculations
has been carried out with the staggered @xcite and the wilson fermion actions @xcite .
a recent work by jlqcd @xcite carried out the calculation at several lattice cutoffs and obtained the value in the continuum limit . for the @xmath5 process , which is difficult due to the presence of disconnected contributions
, a pioneering attempt has been made in ref .
@xcite . for the scattering phase shift , in contrast , there is only one calculation for @xmath4 @xcite , and the data are still too noisy to obtain reliable results . in this article
we report on a high statistics calculation of the @xmath4 s - wave pion scattering length and phase shift .
we work in quenched lattice qcd employing the standard plaquette action for gluons and the wilson fermion action for quarks .
simulations are made at @xmath6 using 200 and 173 configurations on a @xmath7 and @xmath8 lattice .
quark propagators are solved with the dirichlet boundary condition imposed in the time direction and the periodic boundary condition in the space directions .
quark masses are chosen to be the same as in the previous study of quenched hadron spectroscopy by cp - pacs @xcite ( _ i.e. _ , @xmath9 ) for both lattice sizes .
the energy eigenvalue @xmath10 of an s - wave @xmath0 system with momentum @xmath11 and @xmath12 in a finite periodic box of a size @xmath13 is shifted from twice the pion energy @xmath14 by finite - size effects .
lscher derived a relation between the energy shift @xmath15 and the scattering phase shift @xmath16 , which takes the form @xcite @xmath17 where @xmath18 , ( @xmath19 ) , @xmath20 , and @xmath21 , @xmath22 , and @xmath23 are geometrical constants .
the scattering length is given by @xmath24 . in order to obtain the energy eigenvalue
@xmath10 we construct @xmath0 4-point functions @xmath25 . here
@xmath26 is an interpolating field for the s - wave @xmath0 system at time @xmath27 given by @xmath28 where @xmath29 is an element of the cubic group . in numerical calculations
we construct the source operator @xmath30 using the noisy source method with u(1 ) random numbers .
= 7.0 cm since the 4-point function @xmath31 contains many exponential terms due to the maiani - testa no - go theorem @xcite , the extraction of energy eigenvalues from @xmath31 is non - trivial .
the following two methods are known @xcite : ( i ) diagonalization of @xmath31 at each @xmath27 , where the momenta @xmath32 and @xmath33 are regarded as matrix indices .
the eigenvalues take the form @xmath34 $ ] , where @xmath35 and @xmath36 is the distance of @xmath10 from the other eigenvalues @xmath37 . in this method
the fitting range of @xmath27 should be taken large so that the @xmath38 terms can be ignored .
( ii ) diagonalization of @xmath39 @xmath40 @xmath41 @xmath42_{pk}$ ] at each @xmath27 where @xmath43 is fixed at some small value .
the eigenvalues are given by @xmath44 where @xmath38 terms are absent .
in the actual diagonalization we have to cut off the set of momenta . here
we expect that the components of @xmath31 or @xmath45 for @xmath46 are dominant for the eigenvalue @xmath47 in large @xmath27 region , while the components @xmath48 are less important . with this expectation , using both methods
we calculate the energy eigenvalue for the ground state ( @xmath49 ) and the first excited state ( @xmath50 ) for @xmath51 , and also that of the second excited state ( @xmath52 ) for @xmath53 .
the cut - off dependence is investigated by varying the number of momenta @xmath54 for @xmath55 .
in order to examine the effects of diagonalization , we calculate two ratios defined by @xmath56 ^ 2 $ ] and @xmath57 ^ 2 $ ] , where @xmath58 is the pion propagator with momentum @xmath32 . if @xmath59 or @xmath60 behaves as a single exponential function , we can obtain the energy shift @xmath61 easily from the ratio @xmath62 or @xmath63 by a single exponential fit . in fig .
[ fig1.fig ] we compare the ratios for @xmath64 .
the two - pion source is placed at @xmath65 . the momentum cut - off
is set at @xmath66 and both diagonalizations are employed .
the signals are very clear and diagonalizations do not affect the result .
we also checked the cut - off dependence by taking @xmath67 and confirmed that it is negligible . in previous calculations of scattering
lengths@xcite the ratio @xmath68 was used to extract the energy shift @xmath69 .
our calculation demonstrates the reliability of these calculations .
we compare the ratios for @xmath70 in fig .
[ fig2.fig ] .
the momentum cutoff is set at @xmath66 and @xmath67 . the method ( i )
in contrast to the @xmath64 case , the diagonalization is very effective .
the cut - off dependence is negligible , however .
we also made the same analysis for method ( ii ) and confirmed that the results are independent of the method .
the analysis here , and additional one for @xmath71 for @xmath53 , lead us to conclude that ( i ) the momentum cut - off should be taken @xmath54 for the energy shift @xmath61 ( @xmath72 ) , and ( ii ) both method ( i ) and ( ii ) give same results . in fig .
[ fig3.fig ] we plot our results of the scattering amplitude @xmath73 obtained by substituting our data for @xmath61 into ( [ lusher.eq ] ) .
the signals are clear in the small momentum region ( upper figure in fig .
[ fig3.fig ] ) but become noiser for larger momenta ( lower figure ) . in order to obtain the scattering length and phase shift for various momenta at the physical pion mass , we extrapolate our data with the following fitting assumption : @xmath74 .
the fit curves are also plotted in fig .
[ fig3.fig ] . in fig .
[ fig4.fig ] we compare our results of the phase shift @xmath16 at physical pion mass obtained with the fit above with experiments @xcite .
the simulation points are plotted by the large square symbols .
our results for @xmath75 are 40% smaller in magnitude than those of experiments , and our result of scattering length , @xmath76 , differs from the chpt prediction given by @xmath77 @xcite .
a possible cause of the discrepancy is finite lattice spacing effects .
the jlqcd results for scattering length @xcite show sizable scaling violation , and hence that of the scattering phase shift can not be considered small .
further calculations nearer to the continuum limit or calculations with improved actions are desirable . this work is supported in part by grants - in - aid of the ministry of education ( nos . 10640246 , 10640248 , 11640250 , 11640294 , 12014202 , 12304011 , 12640253 , 12740133 , 13640260 ) .
vl is supported by the research for future program of jsps ( no . jsps - rftf 97p01102 ) .
simulations were performed on the parallel computer cp - pacs .
9 s. sharpe _
et al . _ ,
b383 * ( 1992 ) 309 .
m. fukugita _
et al . _ ,
* 71 * ( 1993 ) 2387 ; phys . rev .
* d52 * ( 1995 ) 3003 .
r. gupta _ et al .
_ , phys . rev .
* d48 * ( 1993 ) 388 .
et.al_ , nucl .
suppl . ) * 83 * ( 2000 ) 83 .
et.al._ , nucl .
( proc . suppl . )
* b73 * ( 1999 ) 252 ; few - body system , * 29 * ( 2000 ) 95 .
et.al_ , phys .
* 84 * ( 2000 ) 238 .
m. lscher , commun.math.phys .
* 104 * ( 1986 ) 177 ; * 105 * ( 1986 ) 135 .
l. maiani and m. testa , phys . lett .
* b245 * ( 1990 ) 585 .
m. lscher and u. wolf , nucl .
* b339 * ( 1990 ) 222 .
w. hoogland it et.al , nucl
* b 126 * ( 1977 ) 109 ; m.j .
losty it et.al , nucl
* b 69 * ( 1974 ) 185 . j. gasser and h. leutwyler , phys . lett . *
b125 * ( 1983 ) 325 .
j. bijinens _ et al .
lett , * b374 * ( 1996 ) 210 . | arxiv |
28 DAYS LATER
Written by
Alex Garland
CLOSE ON A MONITOR SCREEN:
Images of stunning violence. Looped.
Soldiers in a foreign war shoot an unarmed civilian at point-
blank range; a man is set on by a frenzied crowd wielding
clubs and machetes; a woman is necklaced while her killers
cheer and howl.
Pull back to reveal that we are seeing one of many screens in
a bank of monitors, all showing similar images...
Then revealing that the monitors are in a...
INT. SURGICAL CHAMBER - NIGHT
...surgical chamber. And watching the screens is a...
...chimp, strapped to an operating table, with its skull
dissected open, webbed in wires and monitoring devices,
muzzled with a transparent guard. Alive.
Behind the surgical chamber, through the wide doorframe, we
can see a larger laboratory beyond.
INT. BRIGHT CORRIDOR - NIGHT
A group of black-clad ALF Activists, all wearing balaclavas,
move down a corridor. They carry various gear - bag, bolt
cutters.
As they move, one Activist reaches up to a security camera
and sprays it black with an aerosol paint can.
INT. LABORATORY - NIGHT
The Activists enter the laboratory.
CHIEF ACTIVIST
Fucking hell...
The Chief Activist takes his camera off his shoulder and
starts taking photos.
The room is huge and long, and darkened except for specific
pools of light. Partially illuminated are rows of cages with
clear perspex doors. They run down either side of the room.
In the cages are chimpanzees.
2.
Most are in a state of rabid agitation, banging and clawing
against the perspex, baring teeth through foam-flecked
mouths.
They reach the far end of the lab, where on a huge steel
operating table they see the dissected chimp.
FEMALE ACTIVIST
Oh God...
The dissected chimp's eyes flick to the Activists. Blood
wells from around the exposed brain tissue.
Tears starts to roll down the Female Activist's cheeks.
CHIEF ACTIVIST
(to Female Activist)
Keep your shit together. If we're
going to get them out of here...
The Finnish Activist is checking the perspex cages.
FINNISH ACTIVIST
I can pop these, no problem.
CHIEF ACTIVIST
So get to it.
The Finnish Activist raises his crowbar and sticks it around
the edge of one of the doors - about to prise it open.
At the moment, the doors to the laboratory bang open.
The Activists all turn. Standing at the entrance is the
Scientist.
A pause. The Scientist jumps to a telephone handset on the
wall and shouts into the receiver.
SCIENTIST
Security! We have a break-in! Get
to sector...
A hand slams down the disconnect button.
SCIENTIST
...nine.
The Chief Activist plucks the receiver from the Scientist's
hands, and then rips the telephone from the wall.
A beat.
3.
SCIENTIST
I know who you are, I know what you
think you're doing, but you have to
listen to me. You can't release
these animals.
CHIEF ACTIVIST
If you don't want to get hurt, shut
your mouth, and don't move a
fucking muscle.
SCIENTIST
(BLURTS)
The chimps are infected!
The Activists hesitate, exchanging a glance.
SCIENTIST
(continuing; stumbling,
FLUSTERED)
These animals are highly
contagious. They've been given an
inhibitor.
CHIEF ACTIVIST
Infected with what?
SCIENTIST
Chemically restricted, locked down
to a... a single impulse that...
CHIEF ACTIVIST
Infected with what?
The Scientist hesitates before answering.
SCIENTIST
Rage.
Behind the Activists, the bank of monitors show the faces of
the machete-wielding crowd.
SCIENTIST
(desperately trying to
EXPLAIN)
In order to cure, you must first
understand. Just imagine: to have
power over all the things we feel
we can't control. Anger,
violence...
FINNISH ACTIVIST
What the fuck is he talking about?
4.
CHIEF ACTIVIST
We don't have time for this shit!
Get the cages open!
SCIENTIST
No!
CHIEF ACTIVIST
We're going, you sick bastard, and
we're taking your torture victims
with us.
SCIENTIST
NO! You must listen! The animals
are contagious! The infection is in
their blood and saliva! One bite
and...
FEMALE ACTIVIST
They won't bite me.
The Female Activist crouches down to face the wild eyes of
the infected chimp behind the perspex.
SCIENTIST
STOP! You have no idea!
The Scientist makes a desperate lunge towards her, but the
Chief Activist grabs him.
FEMALE ACTIVIST
Good boy. You don't want to bite
me, do you?
The Female Activist gives a final benign smile, then the
Finnish Activist pops open the door.
SCIENTIST
NO!
Like a bullet from a gun, the infected chimp leaps out at the
Female Activist - and sinks its teeth into her neck. She
reels back as the chimp claws and bites with extraordinary
viciousness.
At the same moment, a deafening alarm begins to sound.
FEMALE ACTIVIST
(SHRIEKING)
Get it off! Get if off!
The Finnish Activist rips the ape off and throws it on to the
floor. The infected chimp immediately bites into the man's
leg. He yells with pain, and tries to kick it off.
5.
Behind him, the Female Activist has started to scream. She
doubles up, clutching the side of her head.
FEMALE ACTIVIST
I'm burning! Jesus! Help me!
SCIENTIST
We have to kill her!
FEMALE ACTIVIST
I'm burning! I'm burning!
CHIEF ACTIVIST
What's...
SCIENTIST
We have to kill her NOW!
Meanwhile, the Female Activist's cries have become an
unwavering howl of pain - and she is joined by the Finnish
Activist, whose hands have also flown to the side of his
head, gripping his temples as if trying to keep his skull
from exploding.
CHIEF ACTIVIST
What's wrong with them?
The Scientist grabs a desk-lamp base and starts running
towards the screaming Female Activist...
...who has ripped off her balaclava - revealing her face -
the face of an Infected.
She turns to the Scientist.
SCIENTIST
Oh God.
She leaps at him. He screams as they go tumbling to the
ground.
The Chief Activist watches in immobile horror as she attacks
the Scientist with amazing ferocity.
INT. CORRIDOR - NIGHT
Another ACTIVIST makes his way down the corridor towards the
lab.
ACTIVIST
(HISSES)
Terry? Jemma?
6.
No answer.
ACTIVIST
Mika? Where are you?
He reaches the door to the lab, which is closed - and...
...as he opens it, we realize the door is also soundproofed.
A wall of screaming hits him.
He stands in the doorway - stunned by the noise, and then the
sight.
Blood, death, and his colleagues, all Infected.
ACTIVIST
Bloody hell.
The Infected rush him.
FADE TO BLACK.
TITLE:
28 DAYS LATER
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - LATE AFTERNOON
Close up of Jim, a young man in his twenties, wearing pale
green hospital pyjamas. He has a month's beard, is
dishevelled, and asleep.
We pull back to see that Jim is lying on a hospital bed, in a
private room. Connected to his arms are multiple drips, a
full row of four or five on each side of his bed. Most of the
bags are empty.
Jim's eyes open.
He looks around with an expression of confusion. Then he sits
up. He is weak, but he swings his legs off the bed and
stands. The attached drips are pulled with him and clatter to
the floor.
Jim winces, and pulls the taped needles from his arm.
JIM
Ow...
His voice is hoarse, his mouth dry. Massaging his throat, he
walks to the door.
7.
INT. COMA WARD - LATE AFTERNOON
The door to Jim's hospital room is locked. The key is on the
floor. He picks it up and opens the door.
Jim exits into a corridor.
At the far end, a sign read: COMA WARD. There is no sign of
life or movement.
Jim walks down the corridor. One of the doors is half-open.
From inside, there is the sound of buzzing flies.
INT. HOSPITAL WARDS - LATE AFTERNOON
Jim moves as quickly as he can through the hospital, still
weak, but now driven by adrenaline.
All the wards and corridors are deserted. Medical notes and
equipment lie strewn over the floors, trolleys are upended,
glass partition doors are smashed. In a couple of places,
splashes of dried blood arc up the walls.
He reaches A&E. On one wall is a row of public pay phones.
He lifts a receiver, and the line is dead. He goes down the
line, trying them all.
In the corner of the A&E reception is a smashed soft-drinks
machine, with a few cans collected at the base.
Jim grabs one, rips off the ring-pull and downs it in one go.
Then he grabs another, and heads for the main doors.
EXT. HOSPITAL - LATE AFTERNOON
Jim exits and walks out into the bright daylight of the
forecourt. The camera begins to pull away from him.
JIM
Hello?
Aside from a quiet rush of wind, there is silence. No
traffic, no engines, no movement. Not even birdsong.
EXT. LONDON - SUNDOWN
Jim walks through the empty city, from St. Thomas's Hospital,
over Westminster Bridge, past the Houses of Parliament, down
Whitehall, to Trafalgar Square.
8.
A bright overhead sun bleaches the streets. A light drifts
litter and refuse. Cars lie abandoned, shops looted.
Jim is still wearing his hospital pyjamas, and carries a
plastic bag full of soft-drink cans.
EXT. CENTRAL LONDON ROAD/CHURCH - NIGHT
Jim walks. Night has fallen. He needs to find a place to
rest...
He pauses. Down a narrow side street is a church. He walks
towards it. The front doors are open.
INT. CHURCH - NIGHT
Jim walks inside, moving with the respectful quietness that
people adopt when entering a church.
The doors ahead to the main chamber are closed. Pushing them,
gently trying the handle, it is obvious they are locked. But
another open door is to his left. He goes through it.
INT. CHURCH - STAIRWELL - NIGHT
Jim moves up a stairwell.
Written large on the wall is a single line of graffiti:
REPENT. THE END IS EXTREMELY FUCKING NIGH
INT. CHURCH - GALLERY LEVEL - NIGHT
Jim moves into the gallery level, and sees, through the dust
and rot, ornate but faded splendor. At the far end, a stained-
glass window is illuminated by the moonlight.
Jim pads in, stands at the gallery, facing the stained-glass
window for a moment before looking down...
Beneath are hundreds of dead bodies. Layered over the floor,
jammed into the pews, spilling over the altar. The scene of
an unimaginable massacre.
Jim stands, stunned. Then sees, standing motionless at
different positions facing away from him, four people.
Their postures and stillness make their status unclear. Jim
hesitates before speaking.
9.
JIM
...Hello?
Immediately, the four heads flick around. Infected.
And the next moment, there is the powerful thump of a door at
the far end of the gallery.
Jim whirls to the source as the Infected below start to move.
The door thumps again - another stunningly powerful blow, the
noise echoing around the chamber.
Confused, fist closing around his bag of soft drinks, Jim
steps onto the gallery, facing the door...
...and it smashes open.
Revealing an Infected Priest - who locks sight on Jim, and
starts to sprint.
JIM
Father?
The Priest is half way across the gallery
JIM
Father, what are you...
And now the moonlight catches the Priest's face. Showing
clearly: the eyes. The blood smeared and collected around his
nose, ears, and mouth. Darkened and crusted, accumulated over
days and weeks. Fresh blood glistening.
JIM
Jesus!
In a movement of pure instinct, Jim swings the bag just as
the Priest is about to reach him - and connects squarely with
the man's head.
JIM
Oh, that, was bad, that was bad...
I shouldn't have done that...
He breaks into a run...
INT. CHURCH - STAIRWELL - NIGHT
Down the stairwell...
10.
INT. CHURCH - NIGHT
...into the front entrance, where the locked door now strains
under the blows of the Infected inside.
JIM
Shit.
EXT. CHURCH - NIGHT
Jim sprints down the stone steps.
As he reaches the bottom the doors are broken open, and the
Infected give chase.
EXT. CENTRAL LONDON ROAD - NIGHT
Jim runs - the Infected have almost reached him.
A hand fires up a Zippo lighter, and lights the rag of a
Molotov cocktail.
As Jim runs, something flies past his head, and the Infected
closest to him explodes in a ball of flame.
Jim turns, and sees as another Molotov cocktail explodes,
engulfing two in the fireball.
He whirls, now completely bewildered.
WOMAN'S VOICE
HERE!
Another Molotov cocktail explodes. The Infected stagger from
the blaze, on fire.
WOMAN'S VOICE
OVER HERE!
Jim whirls again, and sees, further down the road...
...Selena, a black woman, also in her twenties. She wears a
small backpack, a machete is stuck into her belt - and she
holds a lit Molotov cocktail in her hand.
...Mark, a tall, good-looking man - throwing another bottle.
It smashes on the head of the last Infected, bathing it in
flame...
The burning Infected bumps blindly into a car. Falls. Gets up
again.
11.
Blindly, it staggers off the road, into a petrol station -
where an abandoned car has run over on the pumps.
The ground beneath it suddenly ignites, and the petrol
station explodes.
EXT. SIDE STREET - NIGHT
Selena and Mark lead Jim into a side street.
JIM
(DAZED)
Those people! Who were... who...
MARK
This way! Move it!
Jim allows himself to be hurried along.
EXT. SHOP - NIGHT
Selena stops outside a newsagent's shop. The shop's door and
windows are covered with a metal security grill, but the
grill over the door lock has been prised away enough for
Selena to slip her hand through to the latch.
INT. SHOP - NIGHT
Inside, most of the shelves have been emptied of
confectionery. Newspapers and magazines litter the floor. The
magazine covers of beautiful girls and sports cars have
become instant anachronisms.
At the back of the shop, a makeshift bed of sheets and
sleeping bag is nestled. This has obviously been Selena and
Mark's home for the last few days.
INT. NEWSAGENT - NIGHT
Jim, Mark and Selena enter the newsagent's and pull down the
grill.
MARK
A man walks into a bar with a
giraffe. They each get pissed. The
giraffe falls over. The man goes to
leave and the barman says, you
can't leave that lying there. The
man says, it's not a lion. It's a
giraffe.
12.
Silence.
Mark pulls off his mask and turns to Selena.
MARK
He's completely humorless. You two
will get along like a house on
fire.
Selena, who has already taken off her mask, ignores Mark.
SELENA
Who are you? You've come from a
hospital.
MARK
Are you a doctor?
SELENA
He's not a doctor. He's a patient.
JIM
I'm a bicycle courier. I was riding
a package from Farringdon to
Shaftesbury Avenue. A car cut
across me... and then I wake up in
hospital, today... I wake up and
I'm hallucinating, or...
MARK
What's your name?
JIM
Jim.
MARK
I'm Mark. This is Selena.
(BEAT)
Okay, Jim. We've got some bad news.
Selena starts to tell her story, and as the story unfolds we
see the images she describes.
SELENA
It began as rioting. And right from
the beginning, you knew something
bad was going on because the
rioters were killing people. And
then it wasn't on the TV anymore.
It was in the street outside. It
was coming through your windows. We
all guessed it was a virus. An
infection. You didn't need a doctor
to tell you that. It was the blood.
13.
Something in the blood. By the time
they tried to evacuate the cities,
it was already too late. The
infection was everywhere. The army
blockades were overrun. And that
was when the exodus started. The
day before the radio and TV stopped
broadcasting there were reports of
infection in Paris and New York. We
didn't hear anything more after
that.
JIM
Where are your families?
MARK
They're dead.
SELENA
Yours will be dead too.
JIM
No... No! I'm going to find them.
They live in Greenwich. I can walk.
(heading for the exit)
I'm going to... to go and...
SELENA
You'll go and come back.
JIM
(pulling at the grill)
Yes! I'll go and come back.
MARK
Rules of survival. Lesson one - you
never go anywhere alone, unless
you've got no choice. Lesson two -
you only move during daylight,
unless you've got no choice. We'll
take you tomorrow. Then we'll all
go and find your dead parents.
Okay?
EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - DAY
Jim, Selena and Mark walk along the Docklands Light Railway
in single file. Ahead is a train.
Behind the train, as if spilled in its wake, are abandoned
bags, suitcases, backpacks.
Mark drops pace to let Jim catch up.
14.
MARK
How's your head? Fucked?
No reply.
MARK
(gesturing at the city)
I know where your head is. You're
looking at these windows, these
millions of windows, and you're
thinking - there's no way this many
people are dead. It's just too many
windows.
Mark picks up a handbag from the tracks.
MARK
The person who owned this bag.
Can't be dead.
Mark reaches in and starts to pull things out as they walk,
discarding the personal possessions.
MARK
A woman - (car keys) - who drove a
Nissan Micra - (teddy) - and had a
little teddy bear - (condoms) - and
carried protection, just in case.
Marks tosses the condoms behind him.
MARK
(DRY)
Believe me, we won't need them
anymore than she will.
He hands the bag to Jim and walks ahead.
Jim pulls out a mobile phone.
He switches it on.
It reads: SEARCHING FOR NETWORK.
The message blinks a couple of times. Then the screen goes
blank.
Jim looks left.
He is now alongside the train. The inside of the windows are
smeared with dried blood. Pressed against the glass is the
face of a dead man.
15.
Jim drops the phone and breaks into a run - running past Mark
and Selena.
MARK
(HISSING)
Hey!
EXT. GREENWICH COMMON - DAY
Jim, Selena and Mark jog across Greenwich Common. Jim
gestures towards one of the streets on the far side of the
green.
JIM
(LOW VOICE)
Down there. Westlink Street. Second
on the left.
EXT. WESTLINK STREET - DAY
The street is modest red-brick semi-detached houses. They
stand outside Number 43. Jim waits while Selena scans the
dark facade.
SELENA
If there's anyone in there who
isn't human...
JIM
I understand.
SELENA
Anyone.
JIM
I understand.
Selena shoots a glance at Jim. Jim is gazing at the house.
MARK
Okay.
EXT. BACK GARDEN - DAY
Jim uses the key under the flowerpot to open the back door.
INT. HOUSE - DAY
Jim, Selena and Mark move quietly through the kitchen and the
downstairs of the house.
16.
Surprisingly, everything is neat and tidy. Washed plates are
stacked by the sink, newspapers on the table are neatly
piled. The headline on the top paper reads simply:
CONTAINMENT FAILS.
They reach the bottom of the stairs. Selena gestures upwards,
and Jim nods. They start to ascend.
At the top of the stairs, Selena sniffs the air, and recoils.
Jim has noticed it too. His eyes widen in alarm.
MARK
(WHISPERS)
Wait.
But Jim pushes past and advances along the top landing, until
he reaches a door. By now the smell is so bad that he is
having to cover his nose and mouth with the sleeve of one
arm.
Jim pushes open the door. Inside, two decomposed bodies lie
side by side on the bed, intertwined. On the bedside table
are an empty bottle of sleeping pills and a bottle of red
wine.
Mark appears behind him. Jim stares at his parents for a
couple of moments, then Mark closes the door.
INT. BATHROOM - DAY
Jim sits on the toilet, alone. He is crying. In his hand is a
piece of paper: "Jim - with endless love, we left you
sleeping. Now we're sleeping with you. Don't wake up."
The paper crumples in his fist.
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
Jim, Selena and Mark sit in the living room, on the two
sofas. Jim looks dazed, uncomprehending. Selena watches Jim,
her expression neutral.
SELENA
They died peacefully. You should be
grateful.
JIM
I'm not grateful.
Jim's words hang a moment. Then Mark talks, simply,
unemotionally, matter-of-fact throughout.
17.
MARK
The roads out were all jammed. So
we went to Paddington Station.
Hoping: maybe we could get to
Heathrow, maybe buy our way on a
plane. My dad had all this cash,
even though cash was already
useless, and Mum had her jewellery.
But twenty thousand other people
had the same idea.
(A MOMENT)
The crowd was surging, and I lost
my grip on my sister's hand. I
remember realizing the ground was
soft. I looked down, and I was
standing on people. Like a carpet,
people who had fallen, and...
somewhere in the crowd there were
infected. It spread fast, no one
could run, all you could do was
climb. Over more people. So I did
that. I got up, somehow, on top of
a kiosk.
(A MOMENT)
Looking down, you couldn't tell
which faces were infected and which
weren't. With the blood, the
screaming, they all looked the
same. And I saw my dad. Not my mum
or my sister. But I saw my dad. His
face.
A short silence.
MARK
Selena's right. You should be
grateful.
SELENA
We don't have time to get back to
the shop before dark. We should
stay here tonight.
Jim nods. He isn't sure what he wants to say.
JIM
My old room was at the end of the
landing. You two take it. I'll
sleep down here.
SELENA
We'll sleep in the same room. It's
safer.
18.
EXT. LONDON - DAY TO NIGHT
The red orb of the sun goes down; the light fades. As night
falls, London vanishes into blackness, with no electric light
to be seen.
Then the moon appears from behind the cloud layer, and the
dark city is revealed.
INT. HOUSE - NIGHT
Jim is on the sofa. In the moonlight, we can see that his
eyes are open, wide awake. Selena is curled on the other
sofa, and Mark is on the floor - both asleep. The house is
silent.
Jim watches Selena sleeping for a couple of moments.
Then, quietly, he gets off the sofa and pads out of the
living room, down the hall to the kitchen.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
Jim enters, standing just inside the doorway. He looks around
the room. On one wall, a faded kid's drawing of a car is
framed. Above the counter, on a shelf of cookery books, an
album has a handwritten label on the spine: "Mum's Favorite
Recipes".
Jim walks to the fridge. Stuck to the door is a photo of Jim
with his parents, arm in arm, smiling at the camera. Jim is
on his mountain bike, wearing his courier bag.
FLASH CUT TO:
Jim, sitting at the kitchen table as his Mum enters, carrying
bags of shopping. Jim walks over to the bags and pulls out a
carton of orange juice, which he pulls straight to his mouth
and begins to gulp down.
His Dad walks in from the garden.
JIM'S DAD
Give me a glass of that, would you?
JIM
(draining the carton, and
giving it a shake)
It's empty.
CUT BACK TO:
19.
Jim touches the photo, their faces, lightly.
Jim is facing away from the back door, which has a large
frosted-glass panel.
Through the glass panel, unseen by Jim a dark silhouette
looms against the diffused glow from the moonlight.
Through the kitchen window, a second silhouette appears.
Then there is a scratching noise from the back door.
Jim freezes.
Slowly, he turns his head, and sees the dark shapes behind
the door and window.
A beat - then the door is abruptly and powerfully smashed in.
It flies open, and hangs loosely held by the bottom hinge.
Standing in the doorframe is an Infected Man.
Jim shouts with alarm as the Man lunges at him - and they
both go tumbling to the floor. At the same moment, the figure
behind the kitchen window smashes the glass, and an Infected
Teenage Girl starts to clamber through the jagged frame.
The Man gets on top of Jim, while Jim uses his arms to hold
back the ferocious assault. A single strand of saliva flies
from the Man's lips, and contacts Jim's cheek.
JIM
(SCREAMS)
Help!
Suddenly, Selena is there, holding her machete. The blade
flashes down to the back of the Man's neck. Blood gushes.
Jim rolls the Infected Man off, just in time to see...
...Mark dispatch the Girl half way through the kitchen
window. The Girl is holding Mark, but her legs are caught on
the broken glass.
Mark jabs upwards into the Girl's torso - she stiffens, then
slumps, and as Mark steps back we see he is holding a knife.
Jim hyperventilates, staring at the corpse on the kitchen
floor.
JIM
It's Mr. Bridges...
Selena turns to Jim. She is hyperventilating too, but there
is control and steel in her voice.
20.
SELENA
Were you bitten?
JIM
He lives four doors down...
Jim turns to the Girl sprawled half way through the window.
JIM
That's his daughter...
SELENA
Were you bitten?
Jim looks at her. Selena is still holding her machete at the
ready.
JIM
No... No! I wasn't!
SELENA
Did any of the blood get in your
mouth?
JIM
No!
SELENA
Mark?
Jim turns to Mark. He is standing in the middle of the room.
Stepped away from the window. The Girl's blood is on his arm -
and he is wiping it away...
...off the skin... where a long scratch cut wells up fresh
blood.
A moment.
Then Mark looks at Selena, as if slightly startled.
MARK
Wait.
But Selena is swiping with her machete. Mark lifts his arm
instinctively, defensively, and the blade sinks in.
Selena immediately yanks it back.
MARK
DON'T!
Selena swipes again - and the blade catches Mark hard in the
side of the head. Mark falls.
21.
Jim watches, scrabbling backwards on the floor away from
them, as Selena brutally finishes Mark off.
Selena looks at Mark's body for a couple of beats, then
lowers the blade. She picks up a dishcloth from the sink
counter and tosses it to Jim.
SELENA
Get that cleaned off.
Jim picks up the rag and hurriedly starts to wipe the
Infected's blood from around his neck.
SELENA
Do you have any clothes here?
JIM
(fazed, frightened of her)
I... I don't know. I think so.
SELENA
Then get them. And get dressed. We
have to leave, now.
With practiced speed, Selena starts to open the kitchen
cupboards, selecting packets of biscuits and cans from the
shelves, and stuffing them into her backpack.
SELENA
More infected will be coming. They
always do.
EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
Jim and Selena exit the front door. Jim has changed out of
his hospital gear into jeans and a sweatshirt. He also has a
small backpack, and is carrying a baseball bat.
EXT. LONDON ROAD - NIGHT
Jim and Selena walk: fast, alert. But something is not being
said between them... until Jim breaks the silence.
JIM
(QUIET)
How did you know?
Selena says nothing. Continues walking.
JIM
(INSISTENT)
How did you know he was infected?
22.
SELENA
The blood.
JIM
The blood was everywhere. On me, on
you, and...
SELENA
(CUTTING IN)
I didn't know he was infected.
Okay? I didn't know. He knew. I
could see it in his face.
(A MOMENT)
You need to understand, if someone
gets infected, you've got somewhere
between ten and twenty seconds to
kill them. They might be your
brother or your sister or your
oldest friend. It makes no
difference Just so as you know, if
it happens to you, I'll do it in a
heartbeat.
A moment.
JIM
How long had you known him?
SELENA
Five days. Or six. Does it matter?
Jim says nothing.
SELENA
He was full of plans. Long-distance
weapons, so they don't get close. A
newsagent's with a metal grill, so
you can sleep. Petrol bombs, so the
blood doesn't splash.
Selena looks at Jim dispassionately.
SELENA
Got a plan yet, Jim? You want us to
find a cure and save the world? Or
fall in love and fuck?
Selena looks away again.
SELENA
Plans are pointless. Staying alive
is as good as it gets.
Silence.
23.
They walk. Jim following a few steps behind Selena.
A few moments later, Jim lifts a hand, opens his mouth, about
to say something - but Selena cuts him off without even
looking round.
SELENA
Shhh.
She has seen something...
A line of tower blocks some distance away, standing against
the night sky. In one of them, hanging in the window of one
of the highest stories, colored fairy lights are lit up,
blinking gently.
INT. TOWER BLOCK - NIGHT
Jim and Selena walk through the smashed glass doors of the
tower block. It is extremely dark inside.
Selena switches on a flashlight and illuminates the entrance
hall. It is a mess. The floor is covered in broken glass and
dried blood. The lift doors are jammed open, and inside is a
dense bundle of rags - perhaps an old corpse, but impossible
to tell, because the interior of the lift has been torched.
It is black with carbon, and smoke-scarring runs up the
outside wall.
Selena moves the flashlight to the stairwell. There is a huge
tangle of shopping trolleys running up the stairs.
Selena gives one of the trolleys an exploratory tug. It
shifts, but holds fast, meshed in with its neighbor. Then she
puts a foot into one of the grates, and lifts herself up.
Shining her light over the top of the tangle, she can see a
gap along the top.
JIM
Let's hope we don't have to get out
of here in a hurry.
She begins to climb through.
INT. TOWER BLOCK - NIGHT
Jim and Selena move steadily and quietly up the stairwell,
into the building. Reaching a next landing, they check around
the corner before proceeding. Through a broken window, we can
see that they are already high above most London buildings,
and on the wall a sign reads: LEVEL 5.
24.
SELENA
Need a break?
JIM
(completely out of breath)
No. You?
SELENA
No.
They continue a few steps.
JIM
I do need a break, by the way.
Selena nods. They stop on the stairs. Jim slips off his
backpack and sits, pulling a face as he does so...
SELENA
What's up?
JIM
Nothing.
She gives him a cut-the-crap expression.
JIM
I've got a headache.
SELENA
Bad?
JIM
Pretty bad.
SELENA
Why didn't you say something
before?
JIM
Because I didn't think you'd give a
shit.
A moment, where it's unclear how Selena will react to this.
Then she slips off her own backpack.
SELENA
(going through the bag)
You've got no fat on you, and all
you've had to eat is sugar. So
you're crashing. Unfortunately,
there isn't a lot we can do about
that...
25.
Selena starts to produce a wide selection of pills, looted
from a chemist.
SELENA
...except pump you full
painkillers, and give you more
sugar to eat.
She holds up a bottle of codeine tablets, and passes it to
Jim.
SELENA
As for the sugar: Lilt or Tango?
JIM
(CHEWING CODEINE)
...Do you have Sprite?
SELENA
Actually, I did have a can of
Sprite, but...
Suddenly there is a loud scream, coming from somewhere lower
down the building. Jim and Selena both make a grab for their
weapons.
JIM
Jesus!
SELENA
Quiet.
The scream comes again. The noise is chilling, echoing up the
empty stairwell.
But there is something strange about it. The noise is human,
but oddly autistic. It is held for slightly too long, and
stops abruptly.
SELENA
That's an infected.
Then, the sound of metal scraping, clattering the blockade.
SELENA
They're in.
INT. SHOPPING TROLLEY BLOCKADE - NIGHT
Two Infected, a Young Asian Guy and a Young White Guy, moving
with amazing speed over the blockade.
26.
INT. STAIRS - NIGHT
Jim and Selena sprint up the stairs. Behind them, we can hear
the Infected, giving chase, howling.
They pass level eight, nine, ten...
Jim is exhausted.
SELENA
Come on!
JIM
(out of breath, barely
able to speak)
I can't.
Selena continues, and Jim looks over the edge of the
stairwell, to the landing below...
...where the two Infected appear, tearing around the corner.
INT. STAIRWELL - NIGHT
Selena sprints up the stairs... and Jim sprints past her, in
an amazing burst of energy and speed.
They round another bend in the stairwell...
...then both Jim and Selena scream. Standing directly in
front of them is a Man In Riot Cop Gear - helmet with full
visor, gloves, a riot shield in one hand, and a length of
lead pipe in the other.
The Man lunges past both of them, barging past, where the
Infected White Man has appeared at the stairwell.
The Riot Gear Man swings his lead pipe and connects viciously
with the White Man's head. The White Man falls backwards
against the Asian Man. Both fall back down the stairs.
The Riot Gear Man turns back to Jim and Selena.
MAN
Down the corridor! Flat 157!
Jim and Selena are stunned, but start to run down the
corridor.
The Asian Man is coming back up the stairs. Jim looks back
over his shoulder in time to see the Riot Gear Man deliver a
massive blow to the Asian Man's head.
27.
INT. CORRIDOR - NIGHT
Jim and Selena run towards Flat 157. The door is open, but as
they approach, it suddenly slams shut.
JIM AND SELENA
(hammering on the door)
Let us in!
GIRL (O.S.)
Who is it?
SELENA
Let us in!
The door opens a fraction, on the chain. The face of a girl
appears. She is fourteen, pale, solemn-faced.
GIRL
Where's Dad?
Jim looks back down the corridor.
At the far end, the Man appears. He is holding the limp body
of one of the Infected - and he tips it over the balcony,
where it drops down the middle of the stairwell.
MAN
(CALLS BACK)
It's okay, Hannah. Let them inside.
The door closes, we hear the chain being slipped off, then it
opens again.
INT. FLAT - NIGHT
Jim and Selena enter past the pale-faced girl. The flat is
council, three-bed, sixteenth floor of the block. It has
patterned wallpaper, and nice but boring furnishings. It is
lit by candles.
The entrance hall leads straight to the living room, which
has French windows and a small balcony outside.
On one wall, a framed photograph hangs, which shows the Man
standing beside a black taxi cab. Next to him is a middle
aged woman - presumably the Man's wife. Hannah sits at the
cab's steering wheel, beaming.
Another photo, beside, show Hannah sat in the seat of a go-
kart.
The Man follows Jim and Selena inside.
28.
MAN
Come in, come in.
They follow the Man through to the living room, and Hannah
recloses the front door, which has an impressive arrangement
of locks and dead-bolts.
INT. FLAT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
In the living room, the fairy lights hang in the window,
powered by a car battery. Lit by their glow, the Man goes
through a careful ritual of shedding his gear, helped by
Hannah.
First, he lays down the riot shield. Then he puts the
bloodsmeared lead pipe on a small white towel. Next, he
removes his gloves - and places them beside the bar on the
towel. Then he folds the towel over the weapon and gloves,
and puts it beside the riot shield. Finally he removes the
visored helmet.
Jim and Selena watch him. They look pretty rattled, not
really knowing what to expect.
After the Man has finished shedding his gear, he turns.
MAN
So... I'm Frank, anyway.
He extends his hand to Jim and Selena. Jim hesitates very
briefly, then shakes it.
JIM
I'm Jim.
SELENA
Selena.
Frank beams, and suddenly he seems much less frightening and
imposing. If anything, he is just as nervous as Jim and
Selena.
FRANK
Jim and Selena. Good to meet you.
And this is my daughter, Hannah.
(turning to Hannah)
...Come on, sweetheart. Say hello.
Hannah takes a step into the room, but says nothing.
FRANK
So... so this is great. Just great.
It calls for a celebration.
29.
I'd say. Why don't you all sit
down, and... Hannah, what have we
got to offer?
HANNAH
(QUIETLY)
We've got Mum's creme de menthe.
An awkward beat.
FRANK
Yes, her creme de menthe. Great.
Look, sit, please. Get comfortable.
Sit tight while I get it.
Frank exits. Selena, Jim and Hannah all stand, until Selena
gestures at the sofa.
SELENA
Shall we?
Jim and Selena take the sofa. Hannah stays standing.
FRANK (O.S.)
Where are the bloody glasses?
HANNAH
Middle cupboard.
FRANK (O.S.)
No! The good ones! This is a
celebration!
HANNAH
Top cupboard.
Another short, uncomfortable pause. Hannah looks at Jim and
Selena from her position near the doorway. Her expression is
blank and unreadable.
JIM
This is your place, then.
Hannah nods.
JIM
It's nice.
Hannah nods again.
Frank re-enters. Frank is beaming, holding the creme de
menthe, and four wine glasses.
30.
FRANK
There! I know it isn't much but...
well, cheers!
EXT. TOWER BLOCK - NIGHT
The moon shines above the tower block.
INT. FLAT - NIGHT
Jim, Selena and Hannah all sit in the living room, sipping
creme de menthe. Frank is disconnecting the fairy lights as
he talks, and pulling the curtains closed, rather
systematically checking for cracks along the edges.
FRANK
Normally we keep the windows
covered at night, because the light
attracts them. But when we saw your
petrol station fire, we knew it had
to be survivors... So we hooked up
the Christmas tree lights. Like a
beacon.
Finished with the sofa, he sits on the armchair.
SELENA
We're grateful.
FRANK
Well, we're grateful you came. I
was starting to really worry. Like
I say, we haven't seen any sign of
anyone normal for a while now.
JIM
There aren't any others in the
building?
Frank shakes his head.
SELENA
And you haven't seen any people
outside?
Frank's eyes flick to Hannah.
FRANK
We haven't left the block for more
than two weeks. Stayed right here.
Only sensible thing to do. Everyone
who went out...
31.
SELENA
Didn't come back.
FRANK
And there's two hundred flats here.
Most of them have a few cans of
food, or cereal, or something.
SELENA
It's a good set-up.
FRANK
It isn't bad.
He puts a hand on Hannah's shoulder, and gives it a squeeze.
FRANK
We've got by, haven't we?
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
Jim is in the bathroom, inspecting himself in the mirror. He
is just finishing shaving his beard off, and has had to use
the razor dry. He has cut himself several times.
Jim does a couple of last dry strokes with the razor, and
winces as he cuts himself again. He uses spit to wipe away
the blood.
Then, from outside, Frank speaks.
FRANK (O.S.)
You okay in there, Jim?
JIM
Yes. Fine.
FRANK (O.S.)
Sorry we couldn't spare the water
but... it's the same with the
toilet. The, er, flush doesn't
work. I'm afraid you have to use
the bucket.
Jim opens the door.
FRANK
Have to empty it each morning. We
just chuck it over the balcony...
No mod cons here.
JIM
It's fine.
32.
FRANK
...Well, look, it's pretty late.
I'm going to turn in. We've got a
spare room. Are you and Selena...?
JIM
I'll take the living room.
FRANK
Oh, right. I mean, yes... So, good
night then, anyway.
JIM
Good night, Frank.
Frank smiles, and heads to his bedroom.
INT. FLAT - NIGHT
Jim feels his way down the dark corridor back to the
candlelit living room. Selena is standing by the window. She
looks around when Jim enters.
SELENA
Very spruce.
JIM
Very shredded.
SELENA
Uh-huh.
Jim sits on the armchair, and Selena moves to look at a
picture on the wall - the photo of Frank's family and the
black cab.
JIM
So what do you make of them?
SELENA
They're desperate. Probably need us
more than we need them.
JIM
...I think they're good people.
SELENA
Good people?
JIM
Yeah.
33.
SELENA
Well, that's nice. But you should
be more concerned about whether
they're going to slow you down.
JIM
Right. Because if they slowed you
down...
SELENA
I'd leave them behind.
JIM
In a heartbeat.
SELENA
Yeah.
JIM
I wouldn't.
SELENA
Then you're going to wind up
getting yourself killed.
A moment. Then Selena stands.
SELENA
I'm going to get some sleep.
JIM
Selena - you think I don't get it.
But I do get it. And I know I'd be
dead already if I hadn't met you.
Selena hesitates at the door - then turns.
SELENA
Sure.
JIM
No, look - I mean thank you.
SELENA
And I mean sure. Good night, Jim.
She exits, leaving Jim alone.
JIM
Good night.
Jim walks around the room, blowing out the candles. He leaves
one burning beside the sofa.
34.
Then he slides open the French doors and exits out onto the
balcony.
EXT. BALCONY - NIGHT
The city is spread out in front Jim. In the distance, to the
north, the petrol station still burns, sending billowing
clouds of sparks high into the night sky.
INT. FLAT - EARLY MORNING
Jim sits on the armchair, facing the window, nursing a can of
Lilt. Outside, the sky has just started to brighten with
first light.
Frank enters.
FRANK
Morning, Jim.
JIM
Morning.
FRANK
Listen, have you got a minute?
EXT. TOWER BLOCK ROOF - EARLY MORNING
Frank and Jim appear from a service door. The view over
London is spectacular - low clouds catching the sunrise, and
a plume of smoke still drifting up from the petrol station
blaze. But more noticeable is that the entire roof area is
covered in buckets, pans, bowls, plates...
FRANK
We lost water pressure three weeks
ago. For a while, I thought we'd be
okay with the water in the other
flats. The cistern and tanks. But
it vanishes so quick you wouldn't
believe. You drink it, it
evaporates, turns stagnant...
JIM
(looking at the pans)
They're all empty...
FRANK
It hasn't rained in over a week.
Frank sits, watching Jim.
35.
FRANK
You can set up a plastic sheet to
catch dew and condensation. Trap it
somehow. I saw it on TV once and
I've been experimenting, but I
can't get it to work, and... you
don't happen to...
Jim shakes his head.
FRANK
You'd never think it. Needing rain
so badly... Not in fucking
England...
(he breaks off)
Jim, we don't have enough water for
and Selena.
A moment.
JIM
Right.
FRANK
No. It's not what you think.
INT. FLAT - DAY
Jim, Selena, Frank and Hannah all sit in the living room.
Frank is on the armchair. On the coffee table in front of him
is a small radio. He turns it on - producing a fuzz of radio
static.
SELENA
There haven't been any broadcasts
for weeks.
FRANK
(INTERRUPTING)
Just listen.
They listen. Through the static, the sound of a voice begins
to sift through.
MALE VOICE (V.O.)
The answer to infection is here...
if you can hear this, you're not
alone... there are others like
you... other survivors... we are
soldiers, we are armed and we can
protect you...
The Male Voice fades into the static.
36.
SELENA
(AMAZED)
Soldiers.
FRANK
There's more. Listen.
MALE VOICE (V.O.)
Our location is the forty-second
blockade, M602, twenty-seven miles
north-east of Manchester... you
must find us...
FRANK
Then it just repeats.
JIM
It's a recording?
Frank switches the radio off, and produces a map of Britain,
which he opens on the table.
FRANK
It's a recording. But this is where
it's telling us to go.
Frank points to the location described.
JIM
The North...
FRANK
The way things are, we might need
two or three days to get up there.
SELENA
We.
A moment. Then Frank gives a short, embarrassed laugh.
FRANK
Sound carries in this flat. Jerry-
built, I suppose, and... me and
Hannah do need you more than you
need us.
SELENA
I wasn't -
FRANK
It's okay. Look, it's the truth. I
can't leave the block if it's just
the two of us.
37.
If something happened to me, Hannah
would be alone. But if we were with
other people...
He lets the sentence hang, gazing at Jim and Selena with
undisguised hope.
SELENA
If it's a recording, for all we
know the soldiers who made it are
dead.
FRANK
Yes. It's possible.
SELENA
And that stuff about the answer to
infection. There is no answer to
infection. It's already done pretty
much all the damage it can.
JIM
Maybe they've got a cure.
SELENA
Maybe they've got nothing at all.
FRANK
The only way to find out is to
reach them.
SELENA
We could die trying.
HANNAH
Or die here.
Hannah speaks so rarely that her interjection seems to take
everyone by surprise. Including her. For a moment she looks
flustered, but then she continues.
HANNAH
And anyway, it isn't true what Dad
said. You need us just the same as
we need you. We need each other.
And we'll never be safe in the
cities, and soldiers could keep us
safe.
She pauses for a breath.
HANNAH
So we have to try and get there.
38.
A beat.
JIM
Get there how?
CUT TO:
EXT. TOWER BLOCK - DAY
A black London cab drives fast out of the tower block's
underground garage, bursting into the daylight.
INT. CAB - DAY
Hannah and Selena sit on the back seat, and Jim sits on the
fold-down. Frank smiles, starts the meter running, and leans
around to his passengers.
FRANK
Just so as you know. I don't take
cheques or credit cards.
EXT. CAB - DAY
Frank drives through the destroyed streets of the capital.
They pass a stray Infected, through the smashed window of a
shop. It's head flicks around at the noise of the cab's
engine, and starts to move, but the cab is moving too fast to
catch.
EXT. CAB/TUNNEL ENTRANCE - SOUTH - DAY
The cab pulls up at the entrance of a tunnel that leads under
the river Thames.
FRANK
What do you think?
SELENA
It's the most direct route to the
other side of the river.
JIM
Then we should go the indirect
route. The one in broad daylight.
That isn't underground.
FRANK
Let's just get it done.
39.
Frank floors the accelerator and they head into the tunnel.
INT. CAB - DAY
Frank drives through the tunnel. Wrecked cars and debris are
illuminated in the headlights, and Frank weaves expertly
between them. His passengers roll with the movement of the
cab.
JIM
I knew this was a shit idea. You
know why? Because it was really
obviously a shit idea. Driving into
a dark tunnel, full of smashed cars
and broken glass is really fucking
obviously a shit idea.
As Jim speaks, out of the gloom, caught in the headlights, a
huge pile of cars appears, stretching across the full width
of the tunnel.
Frank slams his foot down on the accelerator.
JIM
Oh no.
EXT. CAB - DAY
The cab bumps up onto the barricade and drives over.
INT. CAB - DAY
The cab bumps down the other side of the barricade, with a
cheer from the passengers - but the jubilation only lasts a
moment, because the cab his the road hard, on to a carpet of
broken glass, and the front left tire blows.
FRANK
HOLD ON!
Frank saws the wheel, but loses control. The cab scrapes
along the side of an abandoned car, then slews to a halt.
Frank tries accelerating again, but the cab immediately pulls
left, back into the car.
FRANK
Fuck.
Frank jumps out of the cab, and shines his flashlight around
the tunnel.
40.
JIM
The world's worst place to get a
flat.
FRANK
Agreed. I think we'd better do this
quick.
INT. TUNNEL - DAY
Frank opens the boot and puts the jack into Hannah's hand.
FRANK
You know what to do.
Hannah immediately runs to the front of the cab and hunches
down. Meanwhile, Frank unclips the spare and hauls it out.
Jim and Selena stand at the back of the cab, weapons ready,
shining their flashlights into the darkness.
At the front of the cab, Hannah pumps the jack, but it is
moving with aching slowness.
At the back of the cab, Jim and Selena wait nervously.
There is a noise from further down the tunnel, in the
direction which they came. A scrabbling rush of movement -
but too quiet to be humans.
Jim and Selena exchange a glance.
JIM
...You heard that?
FRANK
(from the front of the
CAB)
Heard what?
Jim is about to answer. Then is eyes widen. He looks down...
JIM
Holy shit.
A tide of rats is rushing under their feet.
FRANK
(as the rats rush around
THEM)
What the fuck?
41.
SELENA
They're running from the infected.
As if in answer, the howls of the Infected echo down the
tunnel.
Hannah desperately positions the jack underneath the cab, as
the rates run over her face.
FRANK
Hannah, get out, get out!
(to Jim and Selena)
Just lift it! LIFT IT!
Jim, Selena, and Frank get their hands under the side of the
cab, and pull upwards. The cab rises.
Hannah, with great skill and speed, fits the new tire, like a
pit-stop mechanic at a grand prix.
SELENA
(straining with the
WEIGHT)
Come on!
HANNAH
Almost there!
As Hannah puts an expert twist on the last wheel nut, the
cab's back lights pick up the faces of the Infected spilling
over the barricade.
FRANK
(SHOUTING)
Go! Go!
They lunge back into the cab, just as the nearest Infected
slams against the back window.
As the cab races off, Jim leans out the window.
JIM
(at the Infected)
Fuck you!
Frank slams his foot down, and they tear off.
EXT. TUNNEL EXIT - NORTH - DAY
The cab races out.
42.
FRANK
Honey, you're a cab driver's
daughter.
EXT. CAB - DAY
The cab drives through London, the meter steadily clocking
upwards. Driving, Frank's eyes flick down to the fuel gauge.
It is under a quarter full.
Green shoots are pushing through the cracks in the pavements
and road, as nature begins to reclaim the city.
INT. CAB - DAY
A high street. Suddenly Selena cranes around, seeing
something.
SELENA
Whoa! Stop the cab! Stop the cab!
EXT. CAB - DAY
They have stopped outside of a supermarket. The windows are
dark, but unbroken, and it looks as if there is still food on
the shelves.
SELENA
Un. Believable.
She opens the door to the cab, holding her machete.
JIM
You're getting out?
SELENA
This place hasn't been looted. It's
a gold mine.
HANNAH
But we don't know what's in there.
SELENA
Food and drink is what's in there.
And we need it.
Selena gets out.
JIM
Wait!
43.
SELENA
I've been living off Mars Bars and
Coke for two weeks. I need some
tinned fruit.
EXT. STREET - DAY
Selena tries the door of the supermarket. It swings open.
INT. SUPERMARKET - DAY
They enter silently. All carry their weapons at the ready.
They peer down the aisles. The supermarket is empty.
SELENA
Let's shop.
INT. SUPERMARKET - DAY
Jim, Selena, Frank, and Hannah all split off with shopping
trolleys. They look like kids in a toy store.
CUT TO:
Selena taking cans off the shelves, three at a time, going
down the aisle.
SELENA
I'll have you, you, you, you...
CUT TO:
Jim taking more stuff off shelves.
Selena appears at the top of the aisle.
SELENA
Don't take anything we need to
cook.
Jim looks at the item in his hand. It is caviar.
JIM
It's okay. I think you can eat this
stuff raw.
CUT TO:
44.
Frank, standing by the fruit and vegetable section, in front
of a bank of rotting apples - marked ORGANIC. Beside is a
pile of apples that look fine.
FRANK
Mmm. Irradiated.
CUT TO:
Selena finding Hannah by a huge array of chocolate.
SELENA
Ugh. If I never see chocolate
again, it'll be too soon.
A beat, as something catches her eye. She whips it off the
shelf.
SELENA
Not counting Terry's Chocolate
Orange, of course.
HANNAH
(taking a handful of
YORKIE BARS)
Or Yorkies.
SELENA
Or Yorkies, obviously.
CUT TO:
Jim by the drinks counter, examining the label on a bottle of
whisky, as Frank appears behind him.
FRANK
Put that back. We can't just take
any crap.
JIM
It isn't any crap. It's whisky. It
might be good to have.
FRANK
Who's arguing about whisky? I'm
saying, don't get a cheap blend.
Frank takes a bottle of Lagavulin.
FRANK
Single malt. Eighteen-year-old.
Dark, full flavor.
Jim starts to back his trolley away.
45.
FRANK
Warm, but not aggressive. Peaty
after taste.
CUT TO:
Jim, Selena, Frank, and Hannah shopping, pushing their full
trolleys past the empty checkout desks. As Frank passes the
till, he slaps down a credit card, and they walk off.
EXT. STREET - DAY
The fully loaded cab drives away from the supermarket, riding
low on the suspension.
INT. CAB - DAY
The cab reaches the on-ramp to the Westway, and stops.
SELENA
We could have a problem here.
EXT. WESTWAY - DAY
The cab sits at the back of an apparent traffic jam leading
onto the Westway.
Both sides of the dual carriageway are jam-packed with
abandoned cars, a deserted gridlock. All cars point in the
same direction - out of town. Some of the cars are crashed,
riding up on each other, rolled over, burned out.
As the camera rises upwards, we can see that the gridlock
snakes along the entire distance of the flyover. Like the
destroyed vehicles on the road to Basra, it stretches for
miles...
INT. CAB - DAY
JIM
Jesus Christ. We're never going to
be able to get out of London.
FRANK
Don't you worry about that. I've
sat twenty years in this seat. I've
got my routes.
CUT TO:
46.
EXT. CAB - DAY
Montage of the cab sweeping through suburban London, cutting
down side streets, ducking down alleys, sometimes passing
under the Westway flyover.
During the montage, we see scenes of devastation.
Jim gazes out of the window as the cab passes a huge cluster
of rotting corpses, collected under and in the scoop of an
abandoned bulldozer. The dead operator of the bulldozer lies
a few feet away from his cabin.
The montage ends on: the cab bumping down a steep grass verge
onto the motorway.
JIM (O.S.)
Nice cut-through.
EXT. MOTORWAY - DAY
The cab drives down the motorway. There are still vehicles
scattered crashed, but fewer and fewer as distance is gained
on the city.
INT. CAB - DAY
ON THE DASHBOARD, the needle on the fuel gauge drifts down to
the red.
INT. CAB - DAY
A truck lay-by approaches, with a shabby shack-style cafe.
A sign outside the cafe reads: CHEESEBURGERS'R'US. And
beneath: LAST CHEESEBURGERS FOR SIXTY MILES.
In the forecourt are a couple of vehicles. A people-carrier
family car, and a truck, slewed off the road.
Frank slows the cab to a halt, some hundred meters away.
FRANK
Okay. We either do this now, or
we're walking.
47.
EXT. CAB - DAY
Everyone exits the cab. Selena takes a jerry can and a length
of plastic tube from the boot, and Frank gives the ignition
keys to Hannah.
FRANK
If anything goes wrong, you just
drive. You put your foot down. And
go as far as you can.
No response from Hannah.
FRANK
You hear me, Hannah?
HANNAH
Yes, Dad.
Frank, Jim, and Selena begin to walk towards the service
station, holding their weapons at the ready.
EXT. LAY-BY - DAY
Cautiously, Frank, Jim and Selena approach the truck. There
is no sign of life around.
SELENA
Stay close, Jim.
JIM
...What?
SELENA
You heard.
EXT. TRUCK - DAY
While Jim and Selena stand guard, Frank works quickly. He
prises the fuel cap off, inserts the tube, sucks into the
tube, and spits as the diesel begins to flow into the jerry
can.
INT. CAB - DAY
Hannah watches from the driver's seat. She has her hands on
the wheel, and is sliding her hands over the plastic, making
a series of imaginary turns, shifting gears...
48.
EXT. TRUCK - DAY
As they wait for the can to fill, Jim tosses his bat into the
air, giving it a single flip, catching it as the handle comes
back around...being a bit flash.
Selena notices, and does not look impressed.
Almost in response to her nonplussed gaze, Jim begins to walk
towards the cafe.
SELENA
Where are you going?
Jim points his bat in the direction of the cafe.
SELENA
We've got enough food.
JIM
We don't have any cheeseburgers.
(TO HIMSELF)
"Stay close." It's like going on
holiday with your fucking aunt.
INT. CAFE - DAY
Jim walks inside the cafe, and finds the aftermath of
carnage. Decomposed bodies lie scattered, on and under
tables: a couple of men, a female cook, and a young family.
Jim walks towards the family.
The father sits wedged between the seats and the table, which
are both bolted to the floor. His neck is snapped, head
hanging backwards.
The mother lies a couple of feet away, on the floor, half
over an infant, as if in a final protective gesture.
Jim looks down at them.
Then there is a noise behind.
Instinctively Jim snaps around, swinging the bat as he does
so - and connects against a small body, which flies
backwards.
Only then do we - and Jim - see what he has hit. Crumpled,
motionless on the ground is an Infected Kid, an eight year
old boy.
A moment. Jim looks stunned, appalled.
49.
Then the Infected Kid's eyes flick open. Still alive.
Jim's baseball bat swings down.
EXT. TRUCK - DAY
The can is full. Frank removes the tube.
Jim appears.
SELENA
Find anything.
Jim says nothing.
SELENA
Find anything, Jim?
JIM
No.
Selena lets it pass - and the moment is broken as Frank
stands with the can.
FRANK
Okay. We're done.
He lifts a hand to Hannah.
INT. CAB - DAY
Hannah smiles, turns the ignition, and throws the cab into
gear.
EXT. FORECOURT - DAY
The cab tears towards Jim, Selena and Frank, then - at the
last moment - flips into a handbrake turn, and drifts to a
neat stop, a couple of meters from them.
HANNAH
(leaning out of the
WINDOW)
I am a cab driver's daughter.
FRANK
You're Ayrton Senna's bloody
daughter.
50.
INT. CAB - DAY
The cab drives down the motorway, fuel needle pressed up
against the full mark. The meter runs up a tab of over three
hundred pounds...
EXT. CAB - DAY
They pass a sign for MANCHESTER - 130 MILES.
INT. CAB - DAY
The occupants have settled into the reflective silence of a
long drive.
Selena seems lost in thought. She looks at Jim, who has his
hand stuck out the window, and is using his hand like an
aerofoil, catching the wind, dipping and rising.
Then she looks at Frank, and notices...
...Frank glance in the rear-view mirror at Hannah, who
catches her dad's eye. Frank smiles, and gives her a wink.
EXT. CAB - DAY
The cab drives along A-roads.
INT. CAB - LATE AFTERNOON
Jim is looking through some of the bags of food.
JIM
Who's unbelievably hungry?
ALL
Me.
Jim looks out of the window. They are in completely empty,
rolling countryside, stretching for miles.
JIM
Let's have a picnic.
EXT. PICNIC SPOT - LATE AFTERNOON
They have stopped in a beautiful spot, quite high, clear
view. It is a beautiful day. The late afternoon sunshine is
bright over the green fields, trees cast long shadows.
51.
Everyone is happily sat on the grass, eating from their
hoard.
Jim has pulled open a packet of stale hot-cross bun; Hannah
empties a packet of Maltesers into her mouth; Frank holds a
block of cheddar, taking bites from the cheese as if it were
cake ; Selena drinks from a can of tinned peaches, swallowing
the pieces almost whole, with the juice running down her
chin.
SELENA
Oh my God, yes. I can taste the
vitamin C. I can feel it in my
blood.
JIM
(cracking a bun in half)
These are great. They're like huge
biscuits.
He offers half to Hannah, who takes a bite.
HANNAH
It's true. They are like biscuits.
JIM
(COMPLETELY
unintelligible, mouth
full, spraying crumbs)
An de phraisins ar phrill moipht.
Hannah and Selena laugh.
HANNAH
(TO JIM)
What did you say?
JIM
(SWALLOWING)
I said, the raisins are still
moist.
Selena and Hannah laugh again.
FRANK
Hey.
Everyone turns.
FRANK
Look over there.
52.
Some distance away, in the fields below, a group of three
horses - two adults and a foal - are galloping over the
fields as if wild. A majestic and surreal sight, and it
somehow implies the way the world will change.
HANNAH
Do you think they're infected?
FRANK
No. I think they're doing just
fine.
EXT. FIELDS - LATE AFTERNOON
The horses gallop, leaping a stone wall, and away.
EXT. PICNIC SPOT - SUNSET
The meal has been eaten. Frank sits, playing with his radio,
trying to listen to the faint broadcast. Beside him, Hannah
lies on her back, eyes closed.
EXT. FENCE GATE - SUNSET
Jim and Selena have walked a little distance away from the
others, and are sitting on a fence gate, looking over the
view.
JIM
You know what I was thinking?
Selena considers this a moment.
SELENA
You were thinking that you'll never
hear another piece of original
music ever again. You'll never read
a book that isn't already written.
Or see a film that isn't already
shot.
Jim smiles.
JIM
That's what you were thinking.
SELENA
No... I was thinking I was wrong.
JIM
About what?
53.
Selena doesn't reply for a moment. Then she turns to look at
Frank and Hannah - who look oddly normal, surrounded by the
food wrappers from the picnic, Frank listening to the radio.
SELENA
All the death, all the shit - it
doesn't really mean anything for
Frank and Hannah. Because she's got
her dad, and he's got his daughter,
so... it's okay.
A beat.
SELENA
(looking back at Jim)
I was wrong when I told you that
staying alive is as good as it
gets.
JIM
(SMILES)
That's what I was thinking.
SELENA
...Was it?
JIM
Uh-huh. You stole my thought.
Selena leans over and gives Jim a light kiss on the cheek.
SELENA
(smiling back at Jim)
Sorry.
JIM
(slightly surprised, but
PLEASED)
Ah, keep it.
EXT. PICNIC SPOT - SUNSET
Frank switches off the radio. He looks over at Hannah, who is
dozing peacefully, then over to Jim and Selena.
FRANK
(CALLING)
It's getting late. We should stay
here the night.
Jim raises a hand in reply.
54.
EXT. CAB/PICNIC SPOT - NIGHT
The cab sits, parked up at the picnic spot. Jim, Selena,
Frank and Hannah lie beside it, wrapped in their jackets,
using their small backpacks as pillows.
The moon is bright, and only Selena is asleep...
HANNAH
Can't sleep.
JIM
Nor can I. It doesn't feel safe,
outdoors like this.
FRANK
I think we're safe enough.
A couple of moments pass.
HANNAH
...Selena didn't seem to have any
trouble.
JIM
I know. I noticed that too.
(reaching over and shaking
SELENA'S SHOULDER)
Selena...Selena!
SELENA
(EXTREMELY DROWSY)
What... what is it...
JIM
How did you manage to get to sleep?
Selena gives a dozy grumble, then sits up, reaches into her
backpack, and pulls out several bottles of pills. She hands
one of them to Jim.
FRANK
Bloody hell. You must have needed a
hell of a prescription for that
lot.
SELENA
(DROWSY)
I didn't need a prescription. I'm a
qualified chemist.
She drops back down and goes straight back to sleep.
55.
JIM
(inspecting the bottle)
Valium. Great. Not only will it get
us to sleep, but if we get attacked
during the night, we won't even
care.
(pops the lid)
Two each?
FRANK
Not for me, thanks.
JIM
(INDICATING HANNAH)
What about...?
HANNAH
Can I, Dad?
FRANK
(DOUBTFUL)
I don't know, honey.
HANNAH
Da-ad, plee-ease. I can't sleep.
FRANK
All right, all right. Give her half
of one.
FADE TO:
JIM'S VALIUM DREAM
Jim is riding his bike through the city. It's London back to
normal, pre-infection. Busy streets, traffic, pedestrians,
car horns, radios playing.
Jim rides fast, his courier bag over his shoulder, weaving
between cars, shooting a red light, turning a corner into...
Gower Street. Suddenly, a car pulls out into Jim's path. The
car brakes hard, and Jim brakes hard, skidding...
...and the two miss each other by a whisker.
The Driver flashes into road rage.
THE DRIVER
You stupid cunt!
JIM
Fuck you!
56.
The Driver flips Jim the finger, and accelerates away.
Jim remains stopped by the pavement, one foot down for
balance, breathing hard. Pedestrians pass. Groups of people,
everyday people, walking by.
Jim watches them, noticing their faces. Some talk to each
other, or into mobile phones. Some smile, or walk lost in
thought.
After a few moments, Jim sets off again, seemingly
distracted, still watching pedestrians' faces...then two of
the faces seem to catch his attention. A man and a woman,
middle-aged, chatting.
His parents.
Jim's head turns as he passes them, confusion on his face,
his bike drifting into another lane...
...into the path of a second car. The car that hit him.
CUT TO:
EXT. CAB/PICNIC SPOT - NIGHT
FRANK
(QUIETLY)
Hey.
Frank's hand is on Jim's shoulder. Jim stirs, half-wakes.
JIM
(confused, semi-conscious)
What...
Frank is sitting beside him - and we see for the first time
that Frank is awake, keeping guard over them while they
sleep.
FRANK
Shh. You're having a bad dream,
that's all.
Jim's face relaxes a little.
JIM
(mumbled, half-asleep
ALREADY)
Okay, Dad.
Frank raises his eyebrows, then smiles.
57.
EXT. CAB/PICNIC SPOT - EARLY MORNING
Jim is sitting up. The others are all awake. Frank bouncing
the repaired flat tire to check it, Hannah slipping on a
fresh sweatshirt from her backpack, Selena leaning against
the cab, chewing on a chocolate bar.
JIM
Here you go, Frank. This is how you
catch dew. I'm covered in the
fucking stuff.
FRANK
(packing the spare away)
Okay. Let's get rolling.
(he checks his watch)
If we make good time, we'll be
there before midday.
EXT. MOTORWAY - DAY
The cab is driving, towards us, then slows to a halt.
INT. CAB - DAY
Everyone is looking at something ahead of them. They seem
awestruck.
JIM
Bloody hell...
FRANK
It must be Manchester.
JIM
But, the whole of Manchester. The
whole city...
SELENA
No fire crews to put it out.
We see what they are looking at...
EXT. CAB - DAY
On the horizon ahead, there is the glow of a truly massive
fire. The smoke spreads into the sky like the plume from a
vast, spreading volcano crater. The city burning.
58.
INT. CAB - DAY
The cab drives towards the surreal sight. As they drive, pale
flakes begin to fall, drifting past the windows.
JIM
It can't be...
HANNAH
Is it snow?
FRANK
(hitting the windscreen
WIPERS)
It's ash.
EXT. CAB - DAY - ASH FALL
The cab drives through the ash fall. Through the soft
blizzard, they pass a sign for: MANCHESTER - 14 MILES (in the
opposite lane). The city is behind them.
EXT. MOTORWAY - DAY - ASH FALL
The cab drives down a motorway. The ash is still falling, and
they start to pass bodies by the roadside.
INT. CAB - DAY - ASH FALL
Inside the cab there is a sense of real anticipation.
Everyone is sitting up, scanning the road ahead.
Then they come over the brow of a hill, and the ash-fall
clears like mist parting, to reveal...
FRANK
Okay, everyone. I think this is it.
EXT. MOTORWAY - DAY
Fifty meters down, the road is blockaded. It is obviously a
military construction - hurriedly put together, but expertly
built.
Behind rolls of razor wire are fifteen foot sheets of
corrugated iron, held upright by scaffold pipes. In the
middle of the blockade there is a gap wide enough to get a
vehicle through, but concrete blocks force a chicane.
59.
On either side of the road there are sandbag nests. On the
corrugated iron, white painted words read: 42ND BLOCKADE. But
despite the impressive construction, there is no sign of
movement or life.
INT. CAB - DAY
JIM
Try the horn.
SELENA
Don't. We might attract the wrong
kind of attention.
EXT. 42ND BLOCKADE - DAY
The cab rolls slowly towards the blockade - past many more
bodies, Infected, rotting.
It reaches the chicane, and eases around the concrete blocks.
Then it passes through the gap in the corrugated barrier. On
the other side of the blockade, canvas tents have been
erected on the grass verge, and two transporter trucks are
parked. A few packing crates and tarpaulins are also
scattered around. But still no signs of life. The blockade
appears to have been abandoned.
Franks slows to a halt, but keeps the engine running.
INT. CAB - DAY
FRANK
What do you think?
JIM
It looks deserted.
SELENA
Or overrun.
Frank flicks the radio on - there is only static. He switches
it off again.
FRANK
Let's check it out.
60.
EXT. 42ND BLOCKADE - DAY
Everyone exits the cab, holding their various weapons. Jim
has his baseball bat, Selena has her machete, and Frank has
his lead pipe...
Cautiously, they begin to explore. They first head over to
the grass verge and the tents. In front of one of them,
Hannah picks up a Bergen backpack. She upends it, and a few
clothes fall out.
Frank moves past her, and carefully pulls back the tent flaps
- machete at the ready. Inside, there is a small table, and
maps and papers are strewn across the floor. And a radio.
HANNAH
I don't understand. Did they leave?
Jim pushes open the flaps of another tent with his baseball
bat.
JIM
They didn't all leave.
Inside, several body bags lie, buzzing with flies.
Selena stands several feet away, by one of the packing cases.
She pulls out a tangle of camouflage webbing, then lets it
drop back inside.
SELENA
I don't like this. I think we
should go.
FRANK
(SUDDENLY SNAPPING)
No!
(COMPOSES HIMSELF)
The vehicles. We should check the
vehicles first. There has to be
something...
EXT. VEHICLES - DAY
Frank jumps down from the back of one of the trucks. Like the
others, like everything else it is empty.
FRANK
Nothing. Nothing here. I can't
believe it.
SELENA
Frank.
61.
FRANK
"We should go."
SELENA
Yes.
FRANK
(EXPLODING)
Go fucking where? What the fuck are
we supposed to do? How is this
going to fucking end? It's never
going to -
Frank cuts himself off. Then, turning from the others, he
walks away.
EXT. BLOCKADE - DAY
Frank walks underneath the archway of one of the blockade
structures, and sits down. Needing to be alone.
His head sinks, staring at the ground beneath his legs. A
couple of moments later he looks up - and sees that sitting
opposite of him, on the other side of the archway, almost
mirroring his posture and position, is a dead Infected.
The corpse of the Infected sits gazing back at Frank with
sightless eyes.
A moment between the two of them. A blank-faced exchange.
Frank looks left and sees the corpse of another Infected, a
few feet beyond the blockade. And another, beyond it. And
another, a few more feet to the right.
Then Frank looks upwards. Above him, on the walkway of the
blockade, another corpse lies. And this corpse is swarmed
with crows, picking at it.
Frank gets up.
FRANK
(under his breath)
Get out it.
(SUDDENLY SHOUTING)
GET OUT OF IT!
He bends, picks up a rock and throws it, but misses, sailing
past them.
In a rage again, Frank goes under the blockade and starts to
kick it. The scaffold clangs, vibrates, and - startled - the
crows lift off from the mutilated corpse and fly...
62.
...dislodging, or disrupting, a single droplet of blood from
the corpse, that rolls off the neck, and begins to fall
downwards.
Down... to where Frank gazes upwards.
The droplet splashes, pinpoint perfect, on Frank's eye.
Frank frowns, his hand immediately going to his face. The
fingers come away, with the tiny smear of red.
HANNAH
Dad... are you okay?
Frank turns. Hannah is there, with Jim. Selena stands a
little way further back.
FRANK
I... I'm fine, honey. I'm sorry. I
just lost my temper. I...
He breaks off.
HANNAH
...What?
Frank frowns. A hand goes to his temple.
FRANK
Hannah...
Abruptly, the color is draining from his face.
FRANK
(TO HANNAH)
Get away from me.
HANNAH
...Dad?
FRANK
Get away from me!
(TO JIM)
Get her away from me!
HANNAH
(moving to Frank)
Why? What's...
Frank lashes out and shoves Hannah away, knocking her back to
the ground.
FRANK
GET AWAY FROM ME!
63.
A trickle of blood runs out of Frank's nose. Then he doubles
up, clutching the side of his head. He screams with pain.
SELENA
Jim...
(breaking into a run)
Jim, he's infected!
HANNAH
No! No!
Hannah lunges towards her dad, but is caught by Selena.
SELENA
(holding Hannah back)
Jim!
But Jim is frozen, holding his baseball bat.
Frank screams again. Then drops to his knees.
Hannah struggles with Selena, trying to get to Frank.
HANNAH
Dad!
SELENA
Jim!
Jim is still frozen, baseball bat half-raised.
SELENA
KILL HIM!
And Frank looks up, his face contorted. The infection has
taken hold.
And at that moment there is a rifle report, a rush of air,
and a rapid thump of impact.
Frank falls forwards to the tarmac.
A moment of silence.
HANNAH
...Dad?
Selena lets Hannah go.
Suddenly, the GUNFIRE comes again. Three shots in quick
succession - into Frank's motionless body.
In a daze, Hannah starts towards her dead father.
64.
CLIFTON
STAY AWAY FROM HIM!
They all turn to see three British soldiers standing by a
jeep. One of the soldiers (Farrell) advances, with his gun
still raised, while the others (Mitchell and Clifton) hold
back giving cover.
FARRELL
Get away from the man! NOW!
Jim steps towards Hannah and grabs her, pulling her away from
Frank's body. She doesn't struggle. She is in a state of
absolute shock.
SELENA
(QUIETLY)
Jesus.
EXT. ROAD - DAY
A jeep drives down a small road - away from the blockade.
Jim, Selena and Hannah sit in the back. Behind is the cab,
driven by the Sergeant. A little way ahead of them, the
walled grounds of a huge country mansion appear.
EXT. FRONT DRIVEWAY - DAY
From a cast-iron gated entrance, a gravel driveway leads up
to the impressive country mansion, surrounded by a high
perimeter wall. The grounds show acres of lawn and flower
beds. These have obviously had many years of very careful
cultivation and attention, but now are just starting to look
unkempt and overgrown.
The jeep pulls up by the front steps. Waiting there is
another soldier, a major. Like the other soldiers, he is
unshaven, but has the authority of command about him, even in
the relaxed way that he stands.
As Jim, Selena and Hannah dismount from the jeep, he
appraises them. Then speaks.
HENRY
I'm Major Henry West. Welcome.
We've got beds with clean sheets
and a boiler that produces hot
water. So you can all have a
shower. You look like you need one.
Jim, Selena, and tear-streaked Hannah gaze back at Henry
blankly.
65.
INT. SHOWER - DAY
Jim has a shower, sees the cab driving round in circles
outside the shower window, then...
INT. MANSION - DAY
Jim walks down a sweeping staircase to the front hall.
Scattered around are various bits of military gear. A pair of
muddy boots, a jacket, assorted kit, webbing, etc.
EXT. VERANDA - DAY
Henry is sitting, looking out over the back lawn.
Pulling back, we see Jim is with him.
HENRY
You heard our broadcast.
JIM
Yes.
HENRY
We must be a disappointment. You
were hoping for a full brigade. An
army base, with helicopters and
field hospitals.
JIM
We were hoping for...
HENRY
The answer to infection. Well, as I
said, it's here. Though it may not
be quite what you imagined.
JIM
I didn't know what to imagine,
so... We just feel lucky to have
found you.
HENRY
You were lucky. The fire drove
hundreds of infected out of
Manchester. The surrounding area is
teeming with them.
Henry glances back at Jim.
66.
HENRY
But there's no need for you to
worry. We're well protected here.
EXT. GARDEN - DAY
Henry shows Jim around the grounds.
HENRY
Three-sixty visibility. Flat
terrain all around the house...
Floodlights, which we've rigged up
to a generator. Don't like to waste
the fuel, but when we want to, we
can turn night into day.
Moving on...
HENRY
High perimeter wall, which helps,
and we've been lacing the grounds
with trip wires and land mines.
Henry indicates where Farrell, Smith and Davis can be seen,
running a trip wire.
HENRY
You wouldn't want to go mowing the
lawn, but if they get in, we hear
them.
INT. MANSION - LOWER LEVELS - DAY
Henry leads Jim into the basement level of the mansion.
HENRY
Secondary to protection, our real
job is to rebuild. Start again.
Down here is the wood-fired boiler
that provides us with hot water.
Our first step to civilization.
Then to a kitchen...
HENRY
And here, the kitchen.
INT. MANSION - KITCHEN - DAY
Several of the soldiers are unpacking the food bags from the
cab. One of the soldiers, Jones, is wearing an apron.
67.
HENRY
What are you cooking, Jones?
JONES
It's a surprise, sir!
EXT. MAILER'S PIT - DAY
Henry leads Jim into a small courtyard, hanging with
bloodstained laundry.
HENRY
And finally...
The laundry starts to billow - and with it we hear the sound
of rushing movement. As a darkly stained sheet is ripped
aside, an Infected is revealed only a few feet away.
Jim jumps back, but Henry stays put - as the Infected is
suddenly jerked backwards by a chain around its neck.
HENRY
...meet Mailer.
Mailer is uniformed. A soldier. Apart from the chain around
his neck, he is gagged with a filthy and blood-blackened rag
tied tight into his mouth.
HENRY
Mailer, Jim. Jim, Mailer. Got
infected three days ago. Mitchell
managed to knock him out cold. Got
a chain around his neck.
JIM
You're keeping him alive?
HENRY
The idea was to learn something
about infection. Have him teach me.
JIM
And has he?
HENRY
In a way.
(KNEELS)
He's teaching me he'll never bake
bread. Plant crops, raise
livestock. He's telling me he's
futureless. And eventually he'll
tell me how long the infected take
to starve to death.
68.
A moment.
HENRY
Dinner's at seven. Don't forget to
tell the girls.
Henry exits, leaving Jim with Mailer.
Mailer lunges at Jim - a moment between them.
Then Jim exits.
INT. GIRLS' BEDROOM - DAY
Carefully, Jim opens the door to the girls' bedroom. Inside
is Hannah lying on the bed, face covered, on her side. Selena
lies behind her, her arm lying protectively over Hannah's
body.
Selena looks around, sees Jim, and puts a finger to her lips.
INT. JIM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Jim and Selena enter, and close the door.
JIM
...So how is she?
SELENA
She's lost her dad. That's how she
is.
(A MOMENT)
It's all fucked, Jim.
Suddenly Selena looks as if she's on the verge of tears.
JIM
Hey, don't...do that. Look,
Hannah... Hannah's what Frank said
she was. Tough. Strong. And just
like me, just like you, she will
cope...
SELENA
Shut up, Jim. Just shut up. I don't
want her to fucking cope. I want
her to be okay. And when Hannah had
her dad, it was all okay. Remember?
And when it was okay for them, it
was okay for us. And now it's all
fucked.
69.
Then Selena's tears are flowing.
Jim seems to want to reply, but doesn't have the words.
Instead, he lifts Selena's face and kisses her on the lips...
... a moment.
Then Selena pushes him a away.
Selena leaves the room.
INT. MANSION - DINING ROOM - NIGHT
A surreal scene.
Dinner, with full silver service, candles, wine and crystal
glasses, napkins, and everyone rather formally sitting while
Jones lays food on the table, wearing an apron over his
uniform.
Made all the more surreal by Jim and Selena's grubby clothes,
and Hannah's dazed, tear-streaked face.
HENRY
So, what have we here? Tinned ham,
tinned peas, and omelette. You've
prepared a feast, Jones.
JONES
Honor of our guests, sir.
HENRY
Absolutely. I was going to suggest
a toast, but this omelette will do
just as well.
(cuts off a chunk of
omelette and raises it)
To new friends.
Henry pops the omelette in his mouth, then promptly spits it
out.
HENRY
Jones, did you notice while cooking
that these eggs are off?
JONES
I thought the salt might cover the
taste, sir.
70.
HENRY
(pushing his plate away)
Get rid of it.
Henry turns to Hannah as Jones sheepishly exits, carrying the
omelette.
HENRY
I don't suppose you can cook, can
you? I can't tell you how badly we
need someone who shows a little
flair in the kitchen.
Hannah ignore/is unaware of Henry's attempt to bring her out
of her shell.
Meanwhile, the soldiers start helping themselves to the other
food on the table.
DAVIS
That's a fucking disappointment.
When I saw those eggs, I thought it
was Christmas.
BELL
We'll have eggs again. Once
everything's back to normal.
The soldiers pause. Exchange glances. Then burst out
laughing.
MITCHELL
Listen to him! He's still waiting
for Marks and Spencer's to reopen.
More laughter at Bell - interrupted by the sergeant, Farrell,
who conspicuously is not joining in.
FARRELL
I think Bell's got a point. If you
look at the whole life of the
planet, man has only been around
for a few blinks of an eye. So if
the infection wipes us all out,
that is a return to normality.
Farrell turns to Bell.
FARRELL
Is that what you meant, Bell?
BELL
Uh...yeah.
71.
HENRY
(to Jim and Selena)
Have you met our new-age sergeant?
(TO FARRELL)
Remind me, Farrell, why exactly did
you join the army in the first
place.
A moment.
HENRY
This is what I've seen in the four
weeks since infection. People
killing people. Which is much what
I saw in the four weeks before
infection, and the four weeks
before that, and before that, as
far back as I care to remember...
People killing people. Which to my
mind puts us in a state of
normality right now.
Selena turns to Hannah.
SELENA
(QUIET)
You're not eating.
HANNAH
I don't want to eat.
Henry picks up on their exchange.
HENRY
You must eat, Hannah.
HANNAH
I don't want to eat. I want to bury
my dad. He's one of the people
you're talking about.
A silence over the dinner table.
Broken by the thud of a mine detonation.
Then...
FARRELL
Stand to!
And suddenly all the soldiers are kicking back their chairs,
jumping to their feet. Producing SA-80s that they had under
the table.
72.
EXT. MANSION - NIGHT
Farrell, Jones, Mitchell, Bedford, Smith and Clifton race out
of the house, fanning, dropping into position.
MITCHELL
Go, go, go!
Two more soldiers, Davis and Bell, fire from window positions
on the mansion's first floor.
FARRELL
Jones! Cover right!
SMITH
Three o'clock! Three o'clock!
Coming across the grounds are four Infected, sprinting across
the lawn towards the house. Immediately, one of them is
catapulted into the air by an explosion under its feet - a
mine.
The soldiers open fire, Jones closing his eyes as he pulls
the trigger.
The three remaining Infected are cut down - one hit in the
head by Smith, another folding under a burst from Farrell,
the last falling under fire from Mitchell, landing face down
on a mine which explodes onto its chest.
Chunks of Infected spin into the air, then patter down like a
light rain.
MITCHELL
(DELIGHTED)
That was mad! Did you see that!
That was fucking mad!
FARRELL
(ANGRY)
Clear!
JONES
Clear.
MITCHELL
(STILL LAUGHING)
Clear.
(TO JONES)
Fuck me, I never saw that before.
Keeled over and - bam! Gone, like
fucking magic.
73.
SMITH
I drew a lovely bead. One shot.
Right between its eyes.
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Jim stands, looking out of the open French windows at the
soldiers.
Selena is standing behind him. She is holding her machete.
The soldiers bounce in. Mitchell and Smith in particular are
hyped from their adrenaline rush.
MITCHELL
It was all hanging in the air, and
all these bits coming down, and...
Mitchell catches sight of Selena holding her machete.
MITCHELL
Hello.
He heads towards her, and takes the machete from her hands.
MITCHELL
I'll tell you what: you don't need
this penknife any more, sweetie.
I'm here to protect you now.
(winks at the other
SOLDIERS)
But listen, if you want to hold a
huge chopper...
Bedford bursts out laughing, and Selena grabs her machete
back.
MITCHELL
Whoa! Feisty!
He gives her a slap on the backside.
SELENA
Fuck you!
MITCHELL
You bet. How about right now?
Now doubly hyped. Mitchell reaches forward and pulls up the
hem of Selena's T-shirt. She yelps and twists, knocking back
his hand.
74.
MITCHELL
Yeah! A little rough stuff!
FARRELL
MITCHELL!
But Farrell clearly has little command over Mitchell, who
tries again for Selena's T-shirt, still laughing.
Jim snaps.
JIM
(ANGRILY GRABBING
MITCHELL)
Cut it out!
And Mitchell turns immediately on Jim, his sexual charge
flipping seamlessly back to violence.
MITCHELL
(grabbing Jim, propelling
him back across the room,
up against a wall)
Easy, tiger. You don't want to go
picking a fight with me.
Suddenly Farrell is behind Mitchell. We see a movement (a
kidney punch), and Mitchell drops.
MITCHELL
(gasping, on the ground)
Ahh, you cunt. Cunt.
Then - as if through sixth sense, sensing a presence, all
turn. Henry is standing in the doorway.
A moment. Then Henry turns to Mitchell - who has picked
himself up, and is clutching his side, breathing hard.
HENRY
Corporal, first point of order
after an attack.
MITCHELL
Re-secure the perimeter, sir.
HENRY
Then get to it. Jones, Bedford, go
with him.
(TO FARRELL)
Sergeant.
75.
FARRELL
(TIGHTLY)
Sir.
HENRY
Clear the bodies off the lawn. The
rest of you go with him.
The soldiers exit, leaving only Jim, Henry and Selena in the
room.
Selena is shaken, and won't meet Jim's eyes.
Henry hands Selena her machete back.
HENRY
My apologies.
Selena takes the machete and exits, but Jim doesn't follow.
Obviously there is something he wants to say to Henry.
INT. STUDY ROOM - NIGHT
Jim and Henry enter the study room.
HENRY
Drink?
Henry walks over to a drinks cabinet, and pours two brandies,
waiting for Jim to speak.
JIM
Look. We're grateful. Very grateful
for your protection, and just to
have found other people. But if
we're going to stay here with you,
you're going to have to stop your
men from -
HENRY
Who have you killed?
JIM
(THROWN)
I haven't killed anyone.
Henry hands Jim his drink.
HENRY
Since it began, who have you
killed? You wouldn't be alive now
if you hadn't killed somebody.
76.
A moment.
JIM
A boy. I killed a boy.
HENRY
A child?
JIM
Yes.
HENRY
But you had to. Otherwise he'd have
killed you. Survival. I understand.
(BEAT)
I promised them women.
JIM
What?
HENRY
Eight days ago I found Jones with
his gun in this mouth. He said he
was going to kill himself because
there was no future. What could I
say to him? We kill all the
infected or wait until they starve
to death. And then what? What do
nine men do except wait to die
themselves?
(BEAT)
I moved us from the blockade, I set
the radio broadcasting, and I
promised them women. Because women
mean children.
Jim turns and runs out of the room.
HENRY
And children mean a future.
INT. GIRLS' BEDROOM - NIGHT
Jim bursts into the girls' bedroom. Selena is dressed,
sitting next to Hannah, who is awake.
JIM
Get up. Get up!
SELENA
Wha...
77.
JIM
We've got to get out of here!
SELENA
But we...
JIM
(hauling them up)
We're leaving. Now! NOW!
INT. MANSION STAIRS - NIGHT
Jim and the girls run down the stairs...
...heading for the front door.
But behind it is Mitchell, waiting, holding his SA-80.
Jim is hit full in the face, and blacks out.
As he comes around, he can hear the sound of shouting and
screaming.
Farrell is backing away from other soldiers, who are closing
in on him, even though his gun is raised.
FARRELL
You can't do this! You can't do
this! Get back! I'll fucking slot
you! I'll slot you, I fucking swear
it!
But he doesn't follow his threat through. We hear him scream
as the soldiers overpower him.
Jim looks up, and sees Henry is kneeling over him.
HENRY
I want to give you a chance. You
can be with us, or not.
Jim stares back at him. And Henry gazes at Jim, searching
behind Jim's eyes. And understands what he finds.
HENRY
Okay, Jim. Okay.
Henry gives Jim's cheek a soft pat, then rises.
HENRY
(TO MITCHELL)
Him too.
78.
Jim's eyes flick to the side, where he sees Selena holding
Hannah tightly.
Selena looks down at Jim, terrified.
Black screen.
FARRELL'S VOICE
He's insane.
INT. CELLAR
Jim, blindfolded, is sitting beside a radiator, to which his
hands are tied.
He is in a cellar. Farrell is on the other side of the small
room, also tied.
Jim, blind, looks around at the sound of Farrell's voice.
FARRELL
You know what they're doing, a few
hundred miles from here? Across the
channel, across the Atlantic,
they're eating dinner. They're
wondering what to watch on TV
tonight. They're sleeping next to
their wives.
Jim's head turns.
FARRELL
But we're here, chained to a
fucking radiator because the OC has
gone insane. Starting the world
again when the rest of the world
hasn't even fucking stopped. Think
about it! How could infection cross
the oceans? How could it cross the
mountains and the rivers? They
stopped it. And right now TVs are
playing and planes are flying in
the sky and the world is continuing
as fucking normal. Think. Actually
think about it. What would you do
with a diseased little island?
A moment.
FARRELL
They quarantined us.
A moment.
79.
FARRELL
(QUIET)
There is no infection. It's just
people killing people.
(BEAT)
He's insane.
JIM
... Quarantine?
Then the door to the cellar bursts open, revealing Mitchell
and Jones.
EXT. TREE-LINED PATH - DAY
Mitchell and Jones are leading Jim and Farrell through a
small forest at the back of the mansion garden.
Time has passed. It has started raining. Both Jim and Farrell
have been badly beaten. Jim's shirt is ripped. Blood runs
from his nose, and from a cut on the side of his head. He
seems dazed. Numbed. More by the situation than his beating.
EXT. EXECUTION GROUND - DAY
Jim and Farrell are led into a clearing. Just ahead is a
high, ivy-covered brick wall - the perimeter wall of the
mansion. And at the base of the wall are bodies. Stacked,
tangled, swarming with flies.
Jim turns, and sees Mitchell and Jones standing behind him.
FARRELL
Come on then, you fucking pansies.
Do me first.
Mitchell grins, and pulls out his bayonet.
FARRELL
So you're going to stick me,
Mitchell? Is that it?
(TO JONES)
Is that how you're going to let
your sergeant go out, Jones?
JONES
No, Mitch. Do it with the gun.
Mitchell ignores Jones, and starts to fix the blade to the
end of his gun.
80.
FARRELL
You're going to let him stick me,
are you? Like a fucking dog?
JONES
Mitch, come on. Just shoot him.
MITCHELL
Why?
JONES
Because it's quick.
MITCHELL
So?
The bayonet fixes home with a click.
JONES
I'll shoot him, then.
MITCHELL
You fucking won't.
(TO FARRELL)
Any last words?
Farrell spits in Mitchell's face.
MITCHELL
I'm going to enjoy this.
Mitchell pulls back his bayonet, and at that moment, there is
an explosion of gunfire. Jones has fired and killed Farrell.
As Farrell drops, the enraged Mitchell turns on Jones.
MITCHELL
You stupid cunt! What are you
doing?
Mitchell knocks Jones down, putting his gun right in Jones's
face.
JONES
(WHIRLING)
How did he...
They turn. Jim has vanished.
From the side of the clearing, in the trees, there is the
sound of sudden movement.
JONES
There!
81.
Both men immediately set off, diving back into the foliage...
A beat passes. Then, in the pile of bodies, one of them sits
up...
...Jim. We have been looking right at him. But in the tangle
of bodies, and the bloodstained clothes, his camouflage was
complete.
EXT. TREES - DAY - LIGHT RAIN
Mitchell and Jones move fast, scanning, pushing through the
undergrowth. Mitchell is absolutely furious. And as they run,
they startle a couple of birds, which fly up from the ground,
making a suspiciously familiar noise...
They both have the same realization at the same moment.
EXT. EXECUTION GROUND - DAY
Mitchell and Jones burst back into the clearing, and they
start firing into the bodies, emptying a full clip into the
corpses...
....Silence.
Then Jones looks up to the ivy-colored wall...following the
path of the ivy upwards, to the coiled razor wire, where a
scrap of torn and bloody clothing hangs.
JONES
Oh no. We're fucked, we're fucked.
MITCHELL
No problem. He's outside. No gun.
No vehicle. He's a dead man.
EXT. WOODS - DAY
Jim runs through the woods, away from the mansion. His hands
are still tied.
He is out of breath, frightened, jumping at every sound.
Then he trips, rolls down a short slope, and when he comes to
rest, he is looking upwards.
Above him, there is a parting in the clouds, and through the
parting is blue sky.
82.
And across the sky, bisecting the blue, is a single vapor
trail.
A pin-prick of silver plane. Followed by a sonic boom. As
much in Jim's head as anywhere else.
CUT TO:
INT. DOOR - DAY
Close-up of a closed door, with the sounds of a struggle on
the other side.
Then, suddenly, Selena's voice: hard, desperate:
SELENA
You can't do this to her! She's
only fourteen!
INT. DRESSING ROOM - DAY - RAIN
(Note: in the room is a large, freestanding mirror.)
Hannah and Selena are cornered by Clifton, Bedford, Bell and
Davis. The soldiers are hyped. Bedford pulls clothes out of a
wardrobe, yanking out dresses, underwear - throwing them at
the girls.
Bell stands by the closed door - frightened, caught like a
rabbit in the headlights between testosterone madness and the
horror.
And Clifton is laughing, animal-like, tearing at Selena's
clothes, while Hannah is kicking and screaming - held by
Davis.
Close-up on Selena: suddenly transfixed by Hannah the young
girl's fight, the hopelessness.
Abruptly, Selena turns, grabs Clifton's arm, and to his
amazement, yanks him around.
Then she kisses him on the lips. Simply, but unambiguously.
Bell, Davis and Bedford watch in amazement.
Selena breaks off.
The frenzy has been broken by her extraordinary action - and
bizarrely, so has the balance of power.
83.
SELENA
You need to give me a moment with
Hannah. Alone.
Clifton nods - he seems a little dazed.
CLIFTON
The OC. He... he wants you to...
SELENA
He wants us to dress up nice.
She picks up two of the dresses Bedford has thrown - the red
dresses.
SELENA
But if you want us to change,
you'll have to get out of the room.
A moment.
SELENA
(calm, powerful)
It's just fucking polite.
Another moment.
Then Clifton nods. Acquiesces.
CLIFTON
(to the others)
Okay. Clear out.
They exit.
Selena stands with Hannah, emptying pills from her Valium
bottle.
SELENA
Eat them.
Hannah hesitates.
SELENA
(HARD)
Eat them, Hannah!
Hannah takes the handful of pills and holds them in her open
palm.
Then she looks to Selena.
HANNAH
Are you killing me?
84.
A moment - maybe a single moment of tenderness, a strand of
hair brushed from Hannah's face.
SELENA
No. I'm making you not care.
Locked eyes with Selena, Hannah raises the first pill to her
mouth. Then the next.
The door behind opens - revealing the soldiers.
Clifton sees what is happening.
CLIFTON
Hey! What the fuck are you doing?
Selena crams the pills into Hannah's mouth.
The soldiers lunge for the girls, as Hannah tries to swallow
the pills, and Selena whirls to fight them off...
...and at that moment, the sound of distant siren begin to
rise.
Everyone freezes.
Then...
SELENA
Jim.
BEDFORD
He's at the blockade!
INT. MANSION - STAIRS - DAY - RAIN
The soldiers run down the stairs.
JONES
He went over the wall! We thought
he'd be dead sir!
HENRY
Shut up! Davis - you're coming with
me!
EXT. BLOCKADE - DAY - RAIN
Jim stands in the blockade, turning the handle of a siren.
Rain is pouring down, mingling with the blood on his face.
Jim stops, and the sound of the siren starts to fade away.
85.
From the motorway ahead, through the rain, a jeep is
approaching.
EXT. MOTORWAY - LATE AFTERNOON - RAIN
The jeep drives fast down the motorway, and pulls up. Davis
is driving and Henry stands on the back, manning the jeep's
mounted machine gun.
The jeep pulls up, one hundred meters from the blockade, and
Henry brings the mounted machine gun to bear on the blockade.
HENRY
Okay. Let's see if we can sidestep
the cat-and-mouse bullshit.
Henry opens fire.
EXT. BLOCKADE - LATE AFTERNOON - RAIN
Bullet rip through the blockade, punching holes through the
vehicles, smashing through the packing crates...
EXT. MOTORWAY - LATE AFTERNOON - RAIN
Henry stops shooting. With a peal of thunder, the rain
suddenly begins to flood down.
The barrel of the machine gun spits and steams as the
raindrops hit the hot metal.
EXT. BLOCKADE - LATE AFTERNOON - HEAVY RAIN
Davis pulls up at the outskirts of the blockade, and they get
out of the truck.
Henry and Davis make their way into the blockade. With a
signal from Henry, the two split up.
EXT. BLOCKADE - WITH HENRY - LATE AFTERNOON - HEAVY RAIN
Henry moves through the blockade.
He lets off a controlled burst of shots into the tents.
EXT. BLOCKADE - WITH DAVIS - LATE AFTERNOON - HEAVY RAIN
Stealthily, Davis searches around the trucks and tents...
86.
A flash of movement - fast, like an Infected, ducking behind
one of trucks: Jim.
Davis wipes the rain from his eyes, and presses forwards.
Jim is nowhere to be seen.
Another flash of movement, around the back of the next truck.
Davis moves around the truck...but Jim is not there.
DAVIS
Fuck.
Davis turns, and sees...
...Jim, flying towards him, holding Frank's lead pipe, lips
drawn back over his teeth in a rictus smile, murderous.
He is the vision of the Infected, in his expression, his
movements, the blood, everything.
EXT. BLOCKADE - WITH HENRY - LATE AFTERNOON - HEAVY RAIN
Henry turns, as if having just heard something. Perhaps a
scream.
HENRY
(CALLING)
Jim?
Another noise. This time it is unambiguously an Infected
howl. Henry turns again. From down the motorway, and from the
fields, he can now see the Infected. A large number,
attracted by noise of the heavy machine gun, are approaching.
He looses off a couple of shots at the Infected, then starts
to back away to the jeep.
EXT. JEEP - LATE AFTERNOON - HEAVY RAIN
Henry runs up to the jeep. Through the rain, and the water
running down the windscreen, Henry can see a figure sitting
at the driver's seat.
HENRY
Davis?
The figure doesn't move.
Henry approaches cautiously, gun raised, and finds...
87.
...Davis sitting on the front seat, dead, his skull smashed
open.
Henry whirls, expecting to find Jim behind him.
But there is no one there.
Henry shoots again, blindly, emptying his clip at anything
and everything around him.
He reloads - hurriedly, hands slipping on the wet clip,
betraying nervousness...
...and fires at a rain shadow that sweeps between two of the
tents. Then his nerve is gone.
HENRY
Fine! Fine, you little bastard!
Fucking die out here!
Henry hauls out Davis's body, gets into the driver's seat,
turning the ignition...
...but nothing is happening.
Henry turns the key again, desperately. The motor doesn't
even turn over.
Reaching under the dashboard, he pulls out a handful of
wires.
HENRY
Jim.
And at the moment, an Infected slams onto the windscreen,
face against the glass.
Henry shouts out of surprise and anger, lifting his gun, and
fires at point-blank range, through the glass, into the
Infected's face.
The windscreen shatters, blown outwards.
And now, where our view was obscured by rain-washed glass, we
can see clearly...
...Infected, in the blockade, coming through the downpour,
running towards the jeep.
Henry opens fire and cuts them down.
88.
EXT. MAILER'S PIT - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Jim appears above Mailer in his pit, and shoots off Mailer's
chain.
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Jones stands holding his gun at Selena and Hannah, who sit on
the sofas, opposite each other. Also in the room are Clifton,
standing by the French windows, and Mitchell.
Jones seems jumpy, a sheen of sweat on his forehead, as if
sensing that things have gone seriously wrong.
A flicker of lightning lights up outside.
JONES
What was that? Was that a claymore?
MITCHELL
It was lightning.
JONES
But I heard something.
A moment. Rain and wind lash the windows.
MITCHELL
I'll go and hit the floods. Take a
butcher's. Girls, keep an eye on
him, would you?
Mitchell exits.
Jones wipes at the beads of sweat on his upper lip. And in
noticeable contrast, Hannah is completely calm...
HANNAH
Those pills. I think they're having
an effect. I can feel them, and...
I don't feel sleepy, but...
Her sentence trails off. Then she turns to Jones.
HANNAH
(TO JONES)
They've been a long time.
Jones says nothing.
HANNAH
What are you going to do if they
don't come back?
89.
Jones still says nothing, but the question is clearly hitting
a nerve.
HANNAH
Will you be the boss if Henry is
dead? Is that the way if works?
Selena looks at Hannah quickly.
JONES
Shut up.
HANNAH
I don't think they are coming back.
I think they've been killed.
JONES
I told you to shut up!
SELENA
(NERVOUS)
Hannah...
HANNAH
(FLAT)
They're dead.
Hannah's eyes flick over Jones's shoulder, and something
fleeting passes over her face.
HANNAH
You're going to be next.
At that moment, a mine detonates in the mansion grounds.
JONES
Shit!
At that moment, the floodlights power up...
...illuminating Mailer, just on the other side of the French
windows, just behind Clifton, a split second before he
smashes through.
Then he does smash through.
Clifton is thrown to the ground, with Mailer on top of him.
CLIFTON
Help! Shoot him! Shoot him!
Jones is hopeless, panicking - fires, and misses.
90.
Hannah watches, spaced out. Selena shakes Hannah by the
shoulders, pulling Hannah upwards.
SELENA
Hannah! Hannah! We have to get out
of here!
Mailer vomits blood into Clifton's face.
INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Selena and Hannah back out of the living room, through the
house. Hannah is very doped up.
SELENA
Oh Jesus, Jesus, Hannah, stay with
it, stay with it.
HANNAH
(relaxed, as she's yanked
ALONG)
Don't worry. I feel fine. Really.
They reach the front hallway, and the front door bursts
open...
Mitchell, with Bedford.
MITCHELL
What the fuck's going on? What's
all the shouti...
Mitchell is cut off by a high scream, from down the hall, in
the direction of the living room.
All turn, and see...
...Jones, running, screaming, out of one doorway, across the
hallway. He has lost his weapon - and is chased by Mailer,
but not Clifton. Like a train passing, in half a second they
are out of sight.
A moment. Then Mitchell explodes.
MITCHELL
(TO BEDFORD)
Don't just fucking stand there! Get
after them!
91.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Mailer chases Jones into the kitchen, but when he enters,
Jones is nowhere to be seen.
Mailer turns, and sees Bedford in the kitchen doorway,
holding his gun.
BEDFORD
What the fuck are you going to do
now, eh?
But just as Bedford lifts his gun to shoot Mailer...
Clifton runs at him, full speed from down the corridor...
...and Bedford is knocked sideways by the infected Clifton.
EXT. MANSION - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Jim is at the kitchen window, looking in as Bedford is killed
by Mailer and Clifton.
INT. KITCHEN - CUPBOARD - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Jones covers inside a cupboard, hearing Bedford's screams.
INT. MANSION - STAIRS - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
MITCHELL
(GRABBING SELENA)
Up! Up!
Mitchell pushes the girls up the stairs. At the top of the
staircase, wide-eyed with fear, is Bell.
BELL
Mitchell? What's going on?
MITCHELL
Stay here and defend these stairs
with your fucking life!
He turns back to the girls, still holding Selena's arm, and
Hannah is gone.
Selena sees her, heading away down towards the corridor.
SELENA
Hannah!
92.
Mitchell starts pulling Selena in the opposite direction from
Hannah.
INT. DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Hannah runs into the dressing room.
The freestanding mirror sits in the middle of the floor.
Also on the floor are her clothes, and she starts to look
through them, looking for her jeans...
...which she lifts up, then digs in the pocket, and pulls
out...a photo of her with Frank and her mother.
She gazes at the photo.
At that moment, there is a noise from behind her.
She looks up, and sees, in the reflection of the mirror,
Clifton, running down the corridor towards her.
With Clifton: we burst into the dressing room, which is now
empty.
Clifton freezes, then looks around.
And the camera pulls back, to reveal Hannah, clinging on to
the back of the large mirror, trembling.
A moment - then Clifton moves on.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Silence in the kitchen. Bedford lies dead, torn to pieces.
A cupboard creaks slowly open, and Jones peers out. He has
been hiding.
Trembling with fear, he crawls out...moves into the
kitchen...peers out into the hall.
It is empty.
Jones starts running. Down the corridor outside the kitchen.
INT. FRONT HALL - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Jones runs into the front hall...
And suddenly stops. Dead in his tracks.
93.
Jim is standing right in front of him.
Jones looks surprised, wide eyed. His mouth opens, but no
sound comes out.
Pull back, to see: Jones has run straight into Jim's bayonet.
Jones falls, taking the gun and bayonet with him.
Jim steps over his body, and into the house...
INT. RADIO ROOM - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Jim runs through the radio room.
In the break between two blasts of lightning, the room goes
dark.
When it is re-illuminated, Jim has gone, and Mailer and
Clifton have entered.
INT. MANSION - STAIRS - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Jim runs up the stairs.
EXT. MANSION - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Henry walks into the front hall, where he finds Jones.
Jones is lying flat on his back, mortally wounded, gazing up.
Still alive - but only just. Taking his very last breaths.
Henry kneels beside him, and Jones's eyes turn to his
officer. He blinks, tries to speak, but is too weak and close
to death to form the words.
Henry's hand closes around Jones.
Jones blinks once more. And dies.
INT. MANSION - CORRIDOR - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Jim runs down a corridor.
He tries a door. Locked.
JIM
Hannah! Selena!
He tries another door. Open.
94.
He runs through...
INT. CHILD'S BEDROOM - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
...into a kid's bedroom.
Jim moves a sofa to block the doorway - which, as it is
moved, reveals...
...Bell, hiding, cowering, terrified. Foetal.
BELL
(WHIMPERING)
I don't have any bullets! I don't
have any fucking bullets!
Mailer and Clifton outside try to force their way through,
and the sofa jumps forwards an inch.
An Infected arm flails through the half-open door.
Jim leaves Bell, and climbs out the window.
As Jim exits, the door to the room bursts open.
BELL
(SCREAMING)
Don't leave me!
EXT. LEDGE - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Jim climbs along the outside ledge, around the corner of the
building.
Behind him, we can hear Bell screaming as he is killed.
Jim keeps going until he reaches the slope of the mansion's
pitched roof.
There, he finds a skylight window.
INT. MANSION - BASEMENT CORRIDOR - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Henry moves into a basement corridor.
Then pauses.
There is the sound of movement.
An Infected howl.
95.
Then suddenly, pouring out from every door and shadow ahead,
come a rush of Infected.
Henry opens fire, a volley into them as he backs away fast...
...to a door, which he slams and bolts behind him.
INT. CORRIDOR - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Mitchell is holding Selena in one hand, and his gun in the
other, dragging her down a corridor.
The howls of the Infected fill the house.
SELENA
Hannah!
MITCHELL
Shut your fucking mouth! You want
to get us killed?
Mitchell opens a door...
...which leads nowhere. The floor of the room through the
open door is missing.
And below, in the basement-level corridor, the space is full
of the Infected.
They look up at Mitchell, and Mitchell looks down at them.
A vision of writhing Hell. They are a mass of faces and
bodies. Some are appalling wounded. Some are half-dressed in
ragged clothes. Some are naked.
MITCHELL
...Shit.
He pulls Selena away, towards another door.
MITCHELL
In here! IN HERE!
INT. MANSION - BASEMENT CORRIDOR - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Henry is in the basement corridor, on the other side of the
door he has bolted.
Ahead, there is movement - rapid.
Henry looks to the source, and sees: Clifton, running from
the front hall towards him, clearly infected.
96.
No alarm registers on Henry's face.
As Clifton sprints towards him, Henry remains still. Then, at
the last moment he closes his eyes...
...and fires.
Clifton is hit, falls.
Henry opens his eyes.
INT. ATTIC - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Jim enters the skylight window, into an attic, positioned
above the girls' bedroom.
In the floor is a hole, and through it he can see Mitchell
and Selena.
INT. GIRLS' BEDROOM - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Selena and Mitchell stand in the middle of the room.
In the room are Selena and Hannah's bags, Selena's machete,
lying by the side of the bed. She can see it, but...
...Mitchell is holding her tight. He has his gun trained on
the door, facing away from the window.
MITCHELL
It's me and you, now. And I'm going
to get you out of here, and then
we're going to find some nice
little fucking place, with a pretty
little fucking garden, and...
Jim drops down from the attic.
Mitchell turns, but is knocked off balance by Selena
squirming out of his grip...then Jim is on him.
With incredible viciousness, the power and savagery of the
infected, Jim beats Mitchell to death. He smashes his head
against the wall. Then he throws Mitchell to the ground, and
jams his thumbs in Mitchell's eyes.
When it is over, Jim looks up.
Selena stands, holding her machete. She is frozen by the
sight of him. The blood on his face. The matted hair. He is
the image of an infected.
97.
Jim stands and takes a step towards her. Selena remains,
motionless, watching him approach.
Then, just as he is about to reach her, her arm flashes
upwards, holding the machete, to cut Jim down...
...but she hesitates. She can't do it.
A moment. Then...
JIM
That was longer than a heartbeat.
SELENA
...Jim?
Jim moves forwards, and kisses her. Simply. Hard. Then pulls
back, leaving a trace of blood on her lips.
Behind Jim's back, the door opposite, in the corridor,
silently swings open.
SELENA
I thought...I thought you were...
Jim moves forwards, and they kiss. Passionately.
Then Jim breaks off.
JIM
Listen to me. I've got to tell you -
I've got to tell you. The world
isn't fucked. It's going to be
okay. We've got a chance, if we can
get to...
Selena interrupts him, by continuing the kiss.
And Jim responds.
As, behind him, a small figure in a red dress slip into the
room.
Then a vase smashes over the back of Jim's head.
JIM
Ow!
He reels back, and Hannah is on him, jumping on his back,
hitting him with her fists.
SELENA
Hannah! Stop! It's okay!
98.
Hannah breaks off.
SELENA
He's not infected!
HANNAH
I thought he was biting you.
JIM
(holding the back of his
HEAD)
I was kissing her!
(BREAKS OFF)
Are you stoned?
SELENA
It's a long story.
They are interrupted by the sounds of Infected howling.
SELENA
We have to get out of here.
INT. MANSION - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Jim, Selena and Hannah run out of the house, through the
front hall, to the cab.
Hannah gets in the driver's seat...
...and Jim yanks open the back door, ready to pile into the
back only to find...
...Henry. Sitting on the fold-down back seat. Holding his
gun.
HENRY
You killed all my boys.
Henry pulls the trigger - a single shot. Jim is hit in the
stomach and falls backwards into Selena's arm.
SELENA
Jim!
INT. CAB - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
Hannah floors the accelerator.
But instead of going forward, the cab reverses.
99.
EXT. MANSION - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
HENRY
What...Hannah! Hannah?
The cab reverses fast, then Hannah slams the brakes. The cab
slides to a halt.
An Infected slams against Henry's window.
At that moment, the back windscreen smashes.
The hands of the Infected grab hold of Henry's head.
Hannah watches, turned around in the seat.
Henry scream - and we see it's Mailer's face behind him.
Hannah floors the accelerator again, but this time in forward
gear. Henry is sucked out of the back window.
EXT. CAB - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
The cab screeches up to Jim and Selena.
Selena bundles Jim in, and the cab is off in a spray of
gravel...
INT. FRONT HALL - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
As Henry is killed by Mailer, the silhouettes of the Infected
appear in the shadows.
INT. CAB - NIGHT - HEAVY RAIN
The cab races towards the cast-iron front gates of the
mansion - and we see they are locked with a chain and
padlock.
SELENA
We're going to crash!
The gates loom. Hannah speeds towards them.
SELENA
We're going to crash!
JIM
Just fucking do it!
100.
Hannah reaches and buckles her seat belt. Jim and Selena
brace for impact...
They hit the gates, hard. Jim and Selena fly towards the
perspex divider.
Freeze. Held.
FADE TO BLACK:
28 DAYS LATER
FADE UP TO:
EXT. FIELD - DAY
A green field, with three white letters laid out across the
grass. Spelling:
HELL
INT. FARMHOUSE - BEDROOM - DAY
Waking from a nightmare, Jim's eyes snap open with a sharp
intake of breath.
An echo of when we first saw him lying in the hospital. But
this time, when we pull away, we see he is lying on a double
bed, in the bedroom of a small farmhouse.
Alone. But Selena's clothes are scattered.
Jim rises.
He looks around. Bright daylight is flooding into the room
through the window.
JIM
Jesus. Not the curtains too.
INT. FARMHOUSE - DAY
Jim walks down the stairs and peers into a living room -
where he sees the sofa, with its cover removed.
INT. FARMHOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
Jim enters - to find Selena sitting surrounded by lengths of
material which she is stiching together.
101.
He picks up a length of red material. Once part of the dress.
JIM
You looked all right in this, you
know.
Selena ignores him.
Jim walks to the front door and opens it.
Pull back to reveal...
EXT. FARMHOUSE - DAY
A stunning view.
A Lakeland valley, with a single farmhouse, and the black cab
parked outside.
Also outside is Hannah, who is arranging huge lengths of
material on the grass.
From our ground-level angle, there is no sense to be made of
what Hannah is doing.
And we keep pulling back...
EXT. LAKELAND VALLEY - DAY
...fast, down the valley, along a single ribbon of road.
Past a sign: Langdale Valley...
Further, now over a mile distant from the farmhouse, then:
Stopping, abruptly.
At a single Infected, who sits, emaciated, in the middle of
the road.
A quiet moment with the starving emaciated Infected. It is so
weak it can hardly move. Only blink.
Then, in the background, a distant rush of noise, the low
roar of a jet engine.
Slowly, the Infected turns its head upwards, where, in the
clear blue sky, it sees:
A vapor trail.
A plane.
102.
EXT. VALLEY - DAY
A silent bird's eye view, looking down, at the valley floor
and the farmhouse.
Where, outside, we now make sense of the stitched sheets and
curtains, as they form letters on the grass below:
HELL
But tiny figures are forming a new letter. An O:
HELLO
Then, in the background, the sound of the jet, the rush of
noise.
HANNAH
There! THERE!
CUT TO:
Jim, Hannah and Selena look down the valley, where...
...screaming towards them, flying low along the valley floor,
comes a jet plane.
They stand transfixed as the plane races towards them.
As it passes over, flying directly overhead, the terrific
wash of air and noises whips around them, connected with a
colossal sonic boom...
The boom rolls away, and the plane has passed...
Around Jim, Selena and Hannah, the sheets and material of the
letters, ripped into the air, now spiral to the ground,
falling around them.
JIM
Do you think he saw us this time?
CUT TO BLACK:
THE END
28 Days Later
Writers : Alex Garland
Genres : Drama Horror Sci-Fi
User Comments
Back to IMSDb
| screenplays |
Abelian Symmetry groups and Degeneracy
Why does an Abelian Symmetry group necessarily imply no degeneracy?
As an example, consider an operator $A$ such that $A^2 = I$ (essentially a representation of $\mathbb{Z}\_2$) and a Hamiltonian $H$ such that $[H,A]=0$. Assume that this is the only symmetry. Now, $H$, $A$ have a simultaneous eigenbasis, and $A$ can be divided into a direct sum of irreps, each of dimension 1 (the answer [here](https://physics.stackexchange.com/a/319102/102150) says that this is the reason for a lack of degeneracy).
However, if the different eigenstates have different eigenvalues of $A$, what prevents $H$ from having two eigenstates with the same eigenvalue? These could then be distinguished by the labels that $A$ provides.
Yes, it is true when assuming that both $H$ and $A$ have pure point spectrum, the case of $A$ with continuous part is a bit more complicated. (However I suspect that $A$ is both self-adjoint and unitary from your comment, so $A^2=I$ implies $\sigma(A) \subset \{\pm 1\}$, however it does not matter below.)
Consider an eigenspace $\cal{H}\_E$ of $H$ with eigenvalue $\cal E$. It is invariant under $A$, so $A|\_{\cal{H}\_E}: \cal{H}\_E \to \cal{H}\_E$ is still selfadjoint and can be written into a diagonal form with respect to a basis of eigenvectors therein. If it admits $n>1$ eigenvectors in $\cal{H}\_E $ (i.e. $\cal E$ is a degenerate energy level), it is easy to construct a self-adjoint operator $B : \cal{H}\_E \to \cal{H}\_E$ which is **not** diagonal with respect to the found basis of eigenvectors of $A|\_{\cal H\_E}$ and satisfies $B^2=I$, so that it does not commute with $A|\_{\cal{H}\_E}$ and every nontrivial function $f(A)$ of it. The self-adjoint operator $A'= P^\perp + PBP$, where $P$ is the orthogonal projector onto $\cal{H}\_E$, is another self-adjoint operator commuting with $H$ *which is not a function of $A$* and such that $A'^2=I$, thus $H$ would admit **another symmetry** against the hypothesis. Thus $\cal{H}\_E$ has dimension $1$: no different eigenstates of $H$ with the same eigenvalue exist.
**ADDENDUM**. Regarding commutativity of $A'$ and $H$, if $P\_e$ denotes the orthogonal projector onto the eigenspace of $H$ with eigenvalue $e$, we have $$A' H = (PBP+ P^\perp) H = \left(P\_{\cal E} B P\_{\cal E} + \sum\_{e \neq {\cal E}} P\_e\right) \sum\_{e'} e' P\_{e'}$$
$$=P\_{\cal E} B P\_{\cal E} \sum\_{e'} e' P\_{e'} + \sum\_{e \neq {\cal E}} P\_e\sum\_{e} e' P\_{e'}$$
$$ ={\cal E} P\_{\cal E} B P\_{\cal E} + \sum\_{e \neq {\cal E}} eP\_e$$
$$= \left( \sum\_{e'} e' P\_{e'}\right) P\_{\cal E} B P\_{\cal E} + \left(\sum\_{e} e' P\_{e'}\right)\sum\_{e \neq {\cal E}} P\_e $$
$$= HA'\:.$$
I don't think the above argument protects you from "accidental degeneracies".
The main idea is that if each eigenvalue of $A$ has only one eigenvector associated with it, then there is no reason to expect any further symmetry in the Hamiltonian.
This does not mean that they cannot exist (I think), but they should be rare.
You however, but construction find counterexamples. Consider a spin-one half particle in vacuum.
Here the two maximally commuting operators are $A=\sigma\_z$ and $H=L^2\propto 1$. How ever though $A$ has eigenvalues $\pm 1$, the energy is degenerate.
Rather is think you should consider the reverse statement as the stronger one: If $A$ has irreducible representations of dimension larger than 1, then you are guaranteed to have degenerate eigenvalues of $H$ as well.
| stackexchange/physics |
What do the positive and negative signs on the atomic orbitals diagram imply? [closed]
**Closed.** This question is [off-topic](/help/closed-questions). It is not currently accepting answers.
---
**Homework questions** must demonstrate some effort to understand the underlying concepts. For help asking a good homework question, see: [How do I ask homework questions on Chemistry Stack Exchange?](https://chemistry.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/141/how-do-i-ask-homework-questions-on-chemistry-stack-exchange)
Closed last year.
[Improve this question](/posts/167010/edit)
I was reading up on wave functions and electrons behaving like a wave when they are bound in an atom. In the orbital diagram, the + and - signs don't make any sense to me, and the reasoning that one side of the nucleus taken as positive displacement is probably wrong. Can someone explain it?
The sign on [atomic orbital](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atomic_orbital) diagram represents the sign of the respective [wave function,](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wave_function) (a solution of the [Schroedinger equation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger_equation)). It is analogical to sign of sin(x) function with positive and negative sections.
There are 2 major implications:
* For adjacent atoms, overlapping of orbital parts with the same/opposite sign causes constructive/destructive wave interference, known from classical physics. 2 electrons with the same quantum numbers in the same atom would lead to their wave function mutual cancellation and zero probability.
* Regions of the given orbital with the opposite signs are separated by 3D "node surfaces" with $|\Psi|^2=0$ and zero probability density of electron occurrence.
An orbital with the main quantum number n has n-1 of such node surfaces. E.g. the orbital 3s contains 2 inner spherical 3D surfaces with zero probability of the electron occurance, having 3 radial probability maxima.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
ISLE OF DOGS
screenplay by
WES ANDERSON
story by
WES ANDERSON, ROMAN COPPOLA,
JASON SCHWARTZMAN & KUNICHI NOMURA
Contents
Title Page
Introduction
Cast and Crew
ISLE OF DOGS
The Screenplay
Photo section
About the Author
Also by the Author
CopyrightIntroduction
The following took place in London during the post-production of
Isle of Dogs.
The conversation included Wes Anderson, Jason
Schwartzman, Roman Coppola, Kunichi Nomura, and Faber’s
editor, Walter Donohue
WALTER
How do four people write a script?
WES
We learned from our colleague Lauren that in his writers’ room
Kurosawa had one special collaborator named Oguni who was
called – what was the name of it?
ROMAN
The Command Tower.
WES
Kurosawa and his co-writer or team of co-writers worked
together to form the initial ideas and scenes of the films – but, as
they progressed, they would periodically show them to the
Command Tower, Mr Oguni. He would then tell them what was
good, what was bad – basically critique their work and steer them
back on track when they were off the rails. And that’s how they
shaped the scripts. It’s quite a common thing in Italian cinema as
well – writers working in teams. I think more or less all the Fellini
movies and the Rossellini and the DeSica and the Pietro Germi: you
even see their names on each others’ movies. I think maybe even
Pasolini worked on
Nights of Cabiria
. Anyway, obviously, it can be
a good system! We’ve worked together on several scripts. Kun, of
course, is the only one among us who is actually Japanese. Half the
movie is in Japanese, and it’s set there, and Kun is the only one who
actually knows what anyone is saying. He translated most of it and
helped us try to always look to Japan as the inspiration for our littlereality.
WALTER
Was it all four of you at the same time or just three of you
working up the story?
ROMAN
Well, even going way back to our earlier collaborations on
The Darjeeling Limited
and
Moonrise Kingdom
, so much of it
seems to start with life stories. We start with memories and people
and so on. Things that seem relevant bubble to the top, and you
grab on to them. It’s never been a one-step-after-the-next format for
us.
WES
It’s more like an ongoing conversation. The conversation, in
this case, began on a boat.
WALTER
A boat at sea?
WES
A boat at sea. We were afforded the opportunity to go on a
wonderful ocean liner to show some of our movies and do talks
about them, which we all did together.
WALTER
Where was this? The Mediterranean?
WES
No, it was transatlantic.
KUN
I was in New York and you wrote me and said, ‘We’re taking
the
Queen Mary
, want to come?’ But I couldn’t make it.
WALTER
It takes a week, doesn’t it?
WES
Eight days. So that’s where we started, though we had done a
bit before.
JASON
In a way, it was a metaphor for the creative process: out at
sea, no land, will we get there? Who knows.ROMAN
I can remember there were lots of conversations before that,
too. I was on the phone with you from Palm Springs, and I
remember we were talking about fleas and rats. I was on the phone
with you from a balcony in Brooklyn, and we talked about Chief
nearly biting off the hand of the child of the family that had adopted
him.
WES
We wrote that part over the speakerphone.
ROMAN
There was also the train ride where we watched the Studio
Ghibli animated film, the one with the small princess.
KUN
Arrietty
.
WALTER
In French cinema there’s a tradition of having two writers on
a film. One works out the structure and plot and the other does the
dialogues. Do you three divide up the writing like that?
ROMAN
No, we talk around it. Maybe, Jason will say something
that’ll spark off an idea, or a piece of dialogue. Wes is pretty
meticulous about taking notes. He writes it all out. And then,
sometimes, we’ll assume the roles of the characters. We did this a
lot on
Darjeeling
because there were three main characters, and
three of us.
JASON
When we were writing it, I expected to play one character,
and I ended up playing another! Often Wes might have a notion or
an idea about what the movie is – something very basic, a feeling
for what it’s about. So our process is to figure this out. That’s what
is interesting to me: trying to understand what this feeling is about.
What he thinks he’s looking for.
WALTER
Did the project start with dogs? Or Samurai dogs?WES
It started with dogs before it moved to Japan.
ROMAN
It was always about dogs who were decrepit and abandoned
and wasted.
WES
Yes, and a pack of dogs who all saw themselves as the alpha.
ROMAN
And there was always a boy.
JASON
And a garbage dump. With fleas and rats.
ROMAN
The setting was always a blighted, urban, garbage dump.
And the dogs sent away from their masters. That was there from the
beginning.
WALTER
So when did it become Japanese dogs?
WES
Kun, when did we first talk about this?
KUN
From time to time I suddenly get a very short email from you,
and it’s the start of something big. When the email is short, I know
it’s a bad sign. You said you were thinking of an animated movie
taking place in Japan, and you needed my help. Just a two-line
email. Three years later, it’s not over yet.
WES
It’s not over yet, but it
will end
. One day.
kun You wanted me to help work on the script and the story. Also,
someone else was working on the translation, but we knew I had to
make it sound like you.
WES
Yes, the translations needed to have the voice of the movie.
KUN
You have your own voice, so the translating was really hard.
Then you asked me to record some of the characters to see whatthey sounded like. Kobayashi, the Professor, some of the women.
WES
We had characters speaking Japanese, so we needed to start
recording voices so we could do the animatics of our storyboard
version of the movie.
One of the voices Kun did was Mayor
Kobayashi, and we ended up keeping Kun’s voice, because he has
such a low, powerful voice. Nobody sounded as formidable as Kun.
Although Kun is much younger than the character.
JASON
His voice
records
even lower and more powerful than his
normal voice.
KUN
I have my own radio show, which I do every week. Wes asked
if I could record the voices properly. So when I was recording the
show, I asked the technicians if they could stay half an hour more
so I could record the characters’ voices. They were really curious
because I was in the studio alone, yelling, ‘Banish all dogs!’ And
they asked me, ‘What’s it all about?’
WES
And then I asked you to help me direct all these performances!
WALTER
Do you remember when you made the decision that it should
take place in Japan? What was there in the story that would make it
work better if it was located in Japan?
ROMAN
Something about the sci-fi genres of Japan. It’s funny, when
we started it wasn’t necessarily a feature film. It was just a story, a
part of a bigger piece.
WES
Originally, it was a short story that was part of a little collection
of movie short stories. But maybe the Japanese setting was more to
do with being inspired by Japanese movies – a whole world of
cinema that is so interesting and vast and complex. Kurosawa, in
particular, is the biggest influence on this movie. It’s really assimple as: we love these movies, and wouldn’t it be nice to make
our version of being in the Kurosawa world. When you’re doing a
stop-motion movie, you can say a character should be played by
someone like Toshiro Mifune, and you can make your own Toshiro
Mifune. More or less.
WALTER
Whenever there’s a novel or film set in the future, you take
something that people are especially used to now and say: what if
we no longer have it? Or what if we have something else instead?
WES
Well, I guess our film could really be set today. It’s not really
very far in the future. The futuristic aspect of it is pretty limited. In
fact, the original situation we began with was that the story began in
the year 2007, except the movie has supposedly been made in 1962.
So it was only the future from that perspective.
WALTER
Like
Blade Runner
was made in 1982 but set in 2019?
WES
More like if the new
Blade Runner
pretended to have been
made in 1983. Frankly, it became a bit of a struggle to communicate
this idea,
pretending to be an old movie set in 2007. I’m confused
even trying to explain what we failed to do. Anyway, I guess we
thought of the setting as being the Japan of
The Bad Sleep Well
(1961) or
High and Low
(1965). We were trying to make it look
like that period of Kurosawa’s work. Also, the movie reflects the
genre of Japanese disaster movies – the Godzilla world of movies.
It has quite a few links to that kind of thing too, which is not
exactly science fiction; it’s more like disaster fantasy, monster
fantasy.
Isle of Dogs
is about a political monster.
WALTER
Because it’s animation, did a lot of the decisions have to be
made early, or was your particular way of working together an
ongoing thing all the way through?WES
We had a script. My impression is that sometimes when they do
an anim ated movie they don’t exactly start with a script. They just
start storyboarding. They have a story, and then go directly to a
storyboard. But we had a finished script first, and then we did the
storyboard version.
ROMAN
But there’s another layer to the writing where we may feel
the need for another scene or to clarify something. There was a
complete script, which you would have for any normal feature, but
it shifts and grows and shrinks more this way.
WALTER
So when you started storyboarding it, it might suddenly
become clear that you needed another scene or a flashback.
WES
Right. As you make the movie, you mock up the movie, edit it
so you can see how it works. And, in this case – with many of the
voices not being actors – with drawings, which is sort of a
simulation of the movie, which is sometimes a complicated thing to
make, which is why it takes a long time to do. You end up rewriting
and revising. You have much more freedom when it’s drawn, you
can change it readily. There’s a lot you have to figure out in
advance because it takes a long time to make the puppets, to make
their faces, etc. You’ve got to know some weeks before shooting
the scene that this puppet has to be angry, or have a frown, or have
a certain gesture, depending on what range of faces you have for
that puppet, because some of the puppets have replacement faces.
You can’t just say, ‘I want him to be wide-eyed,’ as that face
doesn’t exist to put on him; it has to be sculpted and painted and
prepared. You have to make a mould. Many of the faces are made
of resin, they’ve got to be painted – it’s a whole process. And then
you look at it, and it might not have turned out very well. In that
sense, you have to think in a long-term way, on a different time-
line.WALTER
Does that process help shape the dogs’ very specific
personalities?
WES
Actually, it’s only the human characters who have the cast-
moulded faces. The faces of the dogs: the animators can do what
they want with them. They have the equivalent of muscles in their
faces. The faces of the humans are cast. It’s a different method.
They’re more like dolls, really. Hundreds of chang ing doll faces.
WALTER
How did you work out which personality each dog had?
WES
Basically, you have to dream up a cast of characters. So we
started by figuring out where they came from. We knew we wanted
a gang, before we knew who they were individually. First of all, we
probably had a sense of Chief and Spots. The two brothers.
ROMAN
Though we discovered that they were brothers later, along
the way.
JASON
I recall that Duke’s ability to overhear and know about gossip
became part of his character.
ROMAN
That’s because I would say to Jason, ‘Did you hear about the
guy and what he said about this thing?’ and Wes would say, ‘What’s
that? …’
WALTER
It’s a good device for revealing information.
JASON
Dogs have really good hearing; they’re the best animals for
eavesdropping.
WALTER
When you’ve got the characters, do you say, ‘Well, Bill
Murray could play this part’?
WES
We didn’t really write this one for actors. We just wrotecharacters.
ROMAN
At one point, we talked about having a cast of all very, very
alpha men: Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold
Schwarzenegger. All action stars. But then we decided to go in
another direction.
JASON
We’d have conversations and one of us would say to the other,
‘I thought you were going to say …’ Someone will say something,
and then we’ll do an inversion because you’ll misunderstand or
you’ll take another train of thought from what has just been said.
WES
An idea can sort of come from any direction: ‘I thought you
were going to say the opposite of what you just said, but this is
better!’
ROMAN
Jason will sometimes say, ‘Here’s the worst, corniest
Hollywood version …’ and we immediately perk up and say, ‘Give
it to us,’ because it
usually means it’s a nuts-and-bolts version of
what we want to say. We’d say, ‘Well, that’s a good start. That
would actually
work
.’
WALTER
Does the fact that there’s three of you mean that you don’t
get deadlocked because if two of you get deadlocked, the third one
can unlock it?
WES/ROMAN/JASON
Command Tower!
WALTER
Given the series of conversations on trains, phones, etc., was
there a point where you had to be in one room?
ROMAN
The crucial work is almost always the work we do in a room
together.WES
As cousins, Roman and Jason have known each other since the
occasion of Jason’s birth. Roman occasionally prefers to take up a
position on the floor, and Jason often seems to find his stocking feet
resting on top of Roman like an ottoman. They’re very comfortable
together in a confined space.
WALTER
The fact that all three of you have worked together for so
long suggests that you share something which probably couldn’t be
articulated.
WES
We’ve been trying to articulate it to you for the past hour. So, if
we haven’t succeeded, then it’s probably time for this interview to
come to an end.Principal Cast
CHIEF
Bryan Cranston
ATARI
Koyu Rankin
MAYOR KOBAYASHI
Kunichi Nomura
REX
Edward Norton
BOSS
Bill Murray
DUKE
Jeff Goldblum
KING
Bob Balaban
SPOTS
Liev Schreiber
TRACY WALKER
Greta Gerwig
INTERPRETER NELSON
Frances McDormand
MAJOR-DOMO
Akira Takayama
PROFESSOR WATANABE
Akira Ito
PROFESSOR
watanabe Akira Ito
JUPITER
F. Murray Abraham
THE NARRATOR
Courtney B. Vance
ASSISTANT-SCIENTIST YOKO-ONO
Yoko Ono
GONDO
Harvey Keitel
SCRAP
Fisher Stevens
ORACLE
Tilda Swinton
SIMUL-TRANSLATE MACHINE
Frank Wood
EDITOR-HIROSHI
Nijiro Murakami
HEAD SURGEON
Ken Watanabe
AUNTIE
Mari Natsuki
NEWS-ANCHOR
Yojiro Noda
Principal Crew
Directed by
Wes Anderson
Story by
Wes Anderson, Roman Coppola, Jason Schwartzman
and Kunichi Nomura
Screenplay by
Wes Anderson
Produced by
Wes Anderson, Scott Rudin, Steven Rales and
Jeremy Dawson
Lead Animators
Kim Keukeleire, Jason Stalman and AntonyElworthy
Animation Director
Mark Waring
Director of Photography
Tristan Oliver
Production Designers
Adam Stockhausen and Paul Harrod
Supervising Editor
Andrew Weisblum
Music Composed by
Alexandre Desplat
Head of Puppets Department
Andy Gent
Senior Visual Effects Supervisor
Tim Ledbury
Animation Supervisor
Tobias Fouracre
Animation Producer
Simon Quinn
Co-Producer
Octavia Peissel
2D Animation and Design by
Gwenn Germain
Editors
Ralph Foster and Edward Bursch
Taiko Composer/Advisor
Kaoru Watanabe
Music Supervisor
Randall Poster
US Casting by
Douglas Aibel
Executive Producers
Christoph Fisser, Henning Molfenter
and Charlie WoebckenISLE OF DOGS
(NOTE: the opening titles of this film play over a shot of
three shirtless
taiko
barrel-drummers in a large, black
studio pounding a relentless, ferocious beat.)EXT. ROOFTOP. NIGHT
A densely populated coastal city. In the foreground: the old
district of wooden shrines, red-light streets, and jingling
bicycles. In the background: the new business-complex of high-
rise super-structures, signal-towers, and rapid-transit skyways.
A massive, stone edifice topped by a wide hemisphere of glowing,
vaulted glass dominates the middle-distance. Our narrator
announces ominously:
NARRATOR (V.O.)
The Japanese archipelago, twenty years in the future.
INT. MUNICIPAL DOME. NIGHT
A crowded hearing-room in the building’s central rotunda.
Hundreds of spectators murmur in the high galleries which circle
the chamber floor. The officers of various legislative committees
and members of the press mill about at their desks, whispering
and shuffling, anxious. There is a burst of applause as a stout
and powerful silver-haired politician in his early sixties
ascends to the podium and stands before the assembled audience.
He is Mayor Kobayashi.
The mayor puts on his glasses, adjusts a microphone, activates a
teleprompter, and begins his speech: a ferocious, furious
diatribe. The hushed audience watches and listens.
(NOTE: the humans in this story are, by and large, Japanese
citizens, and speak primarily in their native tongue. The dogs
bark in English.)
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Canine Saturation has reached epidemic proportions. An
outbreak of Snout-Fever rips through the City of
Megasaki. Blizzards of infected fleas, worms, ticks,
and lice menace the citizenship. Dog-Flu threatens to
cross the species threshold and enter the human
disease-pool.
Above the mayor’s head, a projected montage flickers onto a hugeviewing-screen showing: a propaganda portrait of the mayor;
footage of a horde of drooling street-dogs flooding a narrow
street; angry dog-patients with blood-shot eyes and runny noses;
bugs and parasites crawling on microscope slides; and a subway-
car crowded with frightened people wearing surgical-masks, all
staring at a lone terrier growling ominously.
(ADDITIONAL NOTE: photographs and still-images in this story are
generally presented in the form of traditional, full-color
Nishiki-e
wood-block-prints.)
NARRATOR (V.O.)
In a special midnight-session at the Municipal Dome,
Mayor Kobayashi of Uni Prefecture issues emergency
orders calling for a hasty quarantine: the expulsion
and containment of all species, both stray and
domesticated. By official decree, Trash Island becomes
an exile colony.
The mayor builds to an impassioned, rabble-rousing crescendo. His
hands slice through the air as he bellows with finality (in
English):
MAYOR KOBAYASHI
Banish all dogs! Save Megasaki City of Uni Prefecture!
The crowd erupts, cheering and roaring as the mayor unfolds a
document at his podium. The projected image of the document
appears on the viewing-screen with a heading in bold at the top
of the page: The Trash Island Decree. Confetti falls from the
rafters. The narrator concludes:
NARRATOR (V.O.)
The Isle of Dogs.
The mayor pauses gravely. He raises his hand for silence and
explains (subtitled in English):
MAYOR KOBAYASHI
Our legal-system provides for Dissenting Opinion.
Science-Party Candidate Professor Watanabe.
As the mayor steps down from the lectern, he crosses paths
wordlessly with his younger, taller, skinnier, handsomer
colleague. Professor Watanabe wears a short white lab-kimono and
dark sunglasses. He withdraws a thin stack of index cards out of
his pocket. The room waits, doubtful. He begins calmly with one
quiet sentence.Up above the nosebleed section, a woman in a glass booth with an
electronic head-set on her ears translates into a bouquet of
microphones labeled with international flags and media-symbols.
She speaks with a strong, Midwestern-American accent:
INTERPRETER
It’s not fair to the dogs.
The professor furthers his argument in Japanese as the
interpreter furthers her translation:
INTERPRETER
The path favored by Mayor Kobayashi is cruel, cold-
blooded, and unscientific.
On the screen, commemorative wood-block-prints of: a heroic
rescue-dog posing with a child in front of a burning building; a
seeing-eye-dog posing with a blind man in a city park; a team of
sled-dogs posing in a blizzard; a police-dog posing in uniform
with a garland of flowers around him and R.I.P. printed below; a
symbolic tsunami crashing over the city.
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
For a thousand years, these resilient animals have
loved, served, and protected us. Now, in their time of
greatest need, we forsake them? A tidal-wave of Anti-
Dog hysteria has crippled our moral judgement.
The frowning audience listens: bitter, old men in business suits;
protesters in Anti-Dog head-bands; reporters and photographers,
students and teachers, workers and bosses. One solitary figure
listens to the professor with interest, hope, and respect: a
fourteen-year-old American girl with a wild mass of curly, golden
hair and the sole Pro-Dog head-band in evidence. (We will later
come to know her as Foreign-exchange-student Tracy Walker.)
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
Give me six months, and I will deliver a serum. I’m
this
close, dammit. Dog-Flu will be eradicated. Snout-
Fever will be defeated. Canine Saturation will be
returned to sustainable levels -- and
without
mass-
neutering!
The professor stares at the audience. There is a catch in his
voice as he concludes, almost inaudibly. The interpreter pauses,
moved. She swallows.
INTERPRETERWhatever happened -- to man’s best friend?
The mayor watches coolly. A woman in her own white lab-kimono
wrings her hands as she listens. (She is Professor Watanabe’s
Assistant-Scientist, Yoko-ono.) The professor tucks his index
cards back into his pocket and folds his arms across his chest.
Silence.
The crowd explodes, jeering and chanting. People jump to their
feet and shake their fists. Professor Watanabe stands, stoic, as
the protesters hurl open trash cans in his direction, littering
the stage with filth and debris. Chairs fly. Ballots and
propaganda flyers flutter. Yoko-ono rushes to shield the
professor from the barrage. The interpreter continues her
commentary:
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
No, no, no! The crowd is calling for the immediate
ratification and approval of the mayor’s proposal.
Mayor Kobayashi gently guides Professor Watanabe and Yoko-ono
aside. He signals again for order, but the mob continues its
frenzied demonstration. He motions to the wings; and a tall,
crooked man with white hair and a ghostly, powdered face emerges
from backstage carrying a large plastic dog-cage. He is Major-
Domo.
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
As a gesture of public solidarity, Mayor Kobayashi is
calling upon his Assistant Hatchet-Man, Major-Domo, to
furnish the personal bodyguard-dog of the mayoral-
household, Spots Kobayashi, into the possession of the
Committee for Canine Desaturation. Spots will be the
first dog to be officially deported from the city.
Inside the cage, there is a snowy-white hound, lean and muscled,
clean and groomed. He has floppy ears with black spots all over
them. There is a secret-service-type earphone in his left ear. (A
diode-light on the wire blinks green.) He wears a hand-dyed silk
dog-collar with an I.D. tag that reads, simply: Spots.
(Another image appears on the viewing-screen: a publicity wood-
block-print of the mayor posing with a Siamese cat in his arms
and a small boy in military-school uniform standing beside him.)
Major-Domo ceremoniously places the dog-cage on a decorative
display-stand. More cameras flash. Spots smiles and posesuncertainly behind the wire bars of his cage’s plastic door. He
looks off, house-right, to a small, thin, silent figure watching
from the back-stage shadows. He is barely visible in the
darkness, partly hidden behind the open theatre-curtain (and
dwarfed by the surrounding adults). His dead arms hang flat at
his sides.
With a sudden flourish, the mayor produces a heavy, steel stamp-
hammer and decisively thumps the seal of his office onto the
document at the podium in red ink -- formally activating the
Trash Island Decree.
INT. ELEVATOR. DAY
A high-speed service-elevator filled with barrels, buckets,
sacks, and cans of assorted protest-garbage. A janitor stares at
the climbing numbers on an electronic gauge. (The dog-cage sits
on top of a bin. Spots looks uneasy.)
EXT. ROOFTOP. DAY
A loading platform with a view across the grey city-scape and the
rising sun. The janitor pulls-down a steel handle, and a
telescoping crank-shaft lifts a rubbish-filled iron trash-tram up
into the air. (The dog-cage sticks out over the rim of the cart.
Spots looks worried.)
EXT. AERIAL CABLE. DAY
The trash-tram rises-up to a suspended wire and jolts to a stop.
A clutch engages, a gear crunches, and the trash-tram launches
away sideways along a high cable. (Spots is now a passenger. He
looks panic-stricken.)
EXT. MEGASAKI CITY. DAY
An immense metropolis circled by a wide river. Numerous trash-
trams whiz along their cables over rooftops and in-between sky-
scrapers.
GRAPHIC:
A wood-block-print sea-chart of a waterway labeled: Sapporo
River. Dotted lines map a course from Megasaki City across to
Trash Island.
EXT. TRASH ISLAND. DAY
A vast land-form piled with endless refuse. There are mountainsand valleys of demolished vehicles and pulverized appliances;
bridges and towers of obliterated furniture; spill-off rivers,
storm-sewer lakes; mounds of noxious, left-over food-stuffs.
Barges cruise the shores searching for empty spaces to deposit
new waste. Trash-tram cables zoom-across the white waters toward
the island from every direction.
CUT TO:
Spots’ trash-tram screeching to a stop above the coast of the
junk-yard island. A rotary mechanism grinds and groans as the
bottom of the cart opens like a set of bomb-bay doors, and a
sizeable quantity of rubbish plunges out with an angry whoosh.
CUT TO:
Ground-level. Spots in his battered cage crashes down to the
earth and lands with a brutal jolt, more or less upright, as the
last of the falling garbage litters around him. The trash-tram
above creaks away and moves on.
Spots stands-up awkwardly inside his cage. He winces and cradles
his fore-paw gingerly. He looks up, down, side-to-side. (The
diode-light on his earphone now blinks red.) He says finally into
his earphone-mic:
SPOTS
Master Atari, do you read me?
A filthy, flea-infested, black rat skittles out of the trash
heaps and approaches, wary. Spots studies the lock on his cage. A
crack of thunder shakes the land-fill and rumbles in the
distance. The rat scratches at the freshly fallen debris. Spots
waits in silence, overwhelmed and frightened. He shivers. The
camera slowly zooms out as a soft rain begins to fall and a mist
rolls in. The trapped dog and the skittering rat and the
expansive trash landscape all disappear into a thick white cloud
that fills the screen entirely.
TITLE:
6 Months Later
The mist clears to reveal the same view, now cluttered with
several hundred empty, fallen dog-cages.
INSERT:
A scruffy, black owl with one eye and featherless patches. Itrattles its beak against an icy, metal sign-post. The sign reads:
No Landing. Beware of Dogs.
EXT. SHORE-LINE. DAY
Shredded newspapers quiver in the snowy breeze along the freezing
water-front. Flurries twist and somersault among hunks of dirty
cardboard, cracked plastic, and crushed metal. The camera dollies
inland along a winding junk-path through a frosty architecture of
garbage -- liberally dotted with wandering dogs.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Nomadic packs of once-domesticated house-pets, sick and
hungry, rove the garbage canyons and filthy ravines,
scrounging for scraps.
The camera passes through a dirt-tunnel and emerges to reveal an
expansive, horrifically barren valley littered with jagged debris
and roaming, scavenging gangs: five tired sheep-dogs; six hungry
pit-bulls; seven skittish bird-dogs; eight shivering beagles; two
dozen disoriented, staggering little poodles.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
One hundred percent test positive for the Dog-Flu germ.
Symptoms: weight-loss, dizziness, narcolepsy, insomnia,
and extreme/aggressive behavior. Three-quarters display
signs of early-onset Snout-Fever: high temperature, low
blood-pressure, acute moodiness, and spasmodic nasal
expiration.
A sad, filthy mutt in the foreground looks back into the lens and
sneezes.
(NOTE: all the dogs on Trash Island sneeze frequently throughout
the story.)
Below an over-turned wheel-barrow, a mother suckles a litter of
pups. The runt drinks from a puddle of beige rain-water. A trash-
tram approaches over a jagged plateau above the face of a
rubbish-cliff and comes to a stop.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
New litters add to the dog-food shortage at an average
rate of 3.5 new births per week. The exiled dog-
population grows weaker, sadder, angrier.
A large sack of garbage drops slamming onto the ground. It splits
slightly, spilling kitchen scraps and smashed-up egg cartons. Thetrash-tram rattles away.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Desperate.
Slowly, the pack of sheep-dogs emerges slinking out of the
surrounding refuse and creeps-in toward the fresh trash. Their
tongues hang out of the sides of their mouths. Suddenly, one of
them freezes, sniffs the air, and listens. The sheep-dogs all
stop together in their tracks and stare beyond the garbage sack
at:
A second group of five big, starving, greasy, dirty mutts spaced-
out across the width of the plateau, calmly watching them. This
is our Hero Pack. It consists of:
1. A wiry, wire-haired mutt with spiky, mottled coat and the eyes
of an Arctic sled-dog. His ribs stick out like a cast-iron
radiator. He is Rex.
2. A graceful, red-haired mutt with a sable snout and a handlebar
moustache. He is dappled with scabs, scars, scuffs, and
scratches. He is King.
3. A stout, liver-spotted mutt with black paws and a tail like a
stubbed-out cigar. He wears a soiled, grimy, unraveling, striped,
woolen dog-sweater with embroidered baseballs and the word
Dragons scrolled across it in cursive. He is Boss.
4. A bohemian mountain-dog. Slender face, sleek ears, and a
ballet-dancer’s overly nimble gait. He has seven missing teeth
and a consumptive dry-cough. He is Duke.
5. A coal-black hound with long legs, black nose, a boxer’s jaw,
and floppy, black ears with white spots all over them. He has the
sturdy frame of a middle-weight, but the starved mass of a long-
distance runner. He is Chief.
Rex, King, Boss, and Duke (like nearly all dogs on the island)
wear collars with I.D. tags. Chief’s neck is bare.
The misty wind whistles.
The Hero Pack approaches, stealthy. The ten dogs face-off in two
fierce, opposing semi-circles. They shift on their paws and lower
their snouts, glaring and growling. Just as they are about to all
pounce en masse onto the garbage sack and explode into an
inevitable brawl, Rex pauses and stands up straight.REX
Wait a second.
The other nine dogs pause, as well. The sheep-dogs eyeball Rex,
wary and suspicious.
REX
Before we attack each other and tear ourselves to
shreds like a pack of maniacs -- let’s just
open the
sack
first and see what’s actually in it. It might not
even be worth the trouble.
The sheep-dogs debate the question at some length, murmuring with
each other, bickering at a whisper. Chief, King, Duke, and Boss
look somewhat doubtful, too.
Silence.
The biggest of the sheep-dogs nods to Rex curtly. Rex cautiously
approaches the sack and slits it with a careful claw. He opens it
like a surgeon. The gathered dogs move closer and study the
contents.
INSERT:
A complex mixture of decaying food-items and live vermin which
Rex lists rapidly to himself under his breath:
REX
A rancid apple core; two worm-eaten banana peels; a
moldy rice cake; a dried-up pickle; a tin of sardine
bones; a pile of broken egg-shells; an old, smushed-up,
rotten gizzard with maggots all over it --
CHIEF
(interrupting)
OK, it’s worth it.
All at once, the dogs attack each other ferociously, howling and
yelling, fangs bared, launching into brutal, spectacular, rip-
roaring combat. They whirl and spin, snapping and tumbling,
tearing at each others’ flanks and throats, a
cyclone of flying
fur and paws and teeth and claws. Finally, Chief plunges his
canines deep into the scalp of the biggest sheep-dog, who yelps
bloody murder.
The fight stops short.
All the panting sheep-dogs catch their breath. They look batteredand dazed. They turn to the biggest one. His fur is matted with
blood. His tail is twisted like a cork-screw. His eyes are
bruised, and his paws are purple. He has tears in his eyes.
Chief’s jaw hardens.
CHIEF
Get out of here, and don’t come back.
The biggest sheep-dog turns away, limping and hopping. The others
follow. The smallest among them pauses and looks back.
SHEEP-DOG #2
Sheesh, Igor. I think he chewed your ear off.
The biggest sheep-dog sees his ragged, detached ear in the dirt.
He is surprised and a little embarrassed. He shrugs, then drifts
away with the rest of his company.
Chief flicks away the severed-ear. He and the others look after
the sheep-dogs and at each other (significantly the worse for
wear) with savage, victorious expressions on their faces.
Finally, they begin to pick through the putrid trash, nibbling
uncertainly, spitting out seeds and bugs, avoiding the most toxic
bits. On-looking dogs watching from nearby nooks and perches
return to their business.
(NOTE: every corner of Trash Island now brims and bristles with
dogs at all times; digging, scrounging, sleeping; on ridges and
in crannies; far-away, close-by. They appear in the background of
nearly every shot.)
Rex stops. He takes a step back. He says evenly:
REX
I don’t think I can stomach any more of this garbage.
King, Duke, and Boss mumble and mutter simultaneously in
agreement. (”Me, neither.” “Same here.” “It’s horrible.” Etc.)
Rex sniffles. He says, pained:
REX
I used to sleep on a lambs-wool bean-bag next to an
electric space-heater. That’s my territory. I’m an
indoor
dog.
KING
I starred in twenty-two consecutive Doggy-Chop
commercials. Look at me now. I couldn’t land an
audition
.BOSS
I was the lead mascot for an undefeated high-school
baseball team. I lost all my spirit. I’m
depressing
.
DUKE
I only ask for what I’ve always had: a balanced diet,
regular grooming, and a general physical once a year.
REX
(quietly)
I think I might give up.
King, Boss, and Duke hesitate. They are not entirely sure how to
interpret this last remark.
DUKE
Right now?
REX
Right now. There’s no future on Trash Island.
Pause. Duke nods. He says soberly:
DUKE
You heard the rumor, right? About Buster.
Rex, King, and Boss mumble and mutter simultaneously again.
(”Maybe not.” “Remind us again.” “What happened to him?” Etc.)
Duke says bluntly:
DUKE
Suicided. Hanged himself by his own leash.
The group falls into a solemn, contemplative silence as they
ponder their mortality. Rex says desolately:
REX
I want my master.
Chief snorts. He scoffs. He snorts again, scoffs again, narrows
his eyes, and growls:
CHIEF
You make me sick. Excuse me.
Chief turns aside and vomits briefly. He grits his teeth.
CHIEF
I’ve seen cats with more balls than you dogs. Stoplicking your wounds!
Duke is, in fact, licking a wound on his left flank. He freezes
with his tongue out, caught in the act.
CHIEF
You hungry? Kill something and eat it. You sick? Take a
long nap. You cold? Dig a hole in the ground, crawl
into it, and bury yourself -- but nobody’s giving up
around here, and don’t you forget it,
ever
.
Chief prowls among the others like a deeply disappointed drill-
sergeant. He motions to their I.D. tags, one-by-one.
CHIEF
You’re Rex! You’re King! You’re Duke! You’re Boss! I’m
Chief. We’re a pack of scary, indestructible Alpha
Dogs. We just chewed somebody’s ear off. You’re talking
like a bunch of housebroken --
(searching for the
mot
juste
)
--
pets
.
King, Boss, and Duke (with their tails between their legs,
mentally and literally) turn to Rex. Rex stares at Chief.
REX
You don’t understand. How could you? You’re a --
Rex hesitates. Chief nods, hurt but deeply guarded:
CHIEF
I’m a stray.
Rex sighs. He looks guilty. King, Boss, and Duke start poking
awkwardly at the trash again. Something topples down a nearby
ridge with a metallic pling-plong-plang.
The five dogs turn sharply and look.
CUT TO:
An almost feline, lank-limbed spaniel. She has a blonde coat with
a high sheen. She licks a bit of grit off her fur and twists her
body, stretching, then flicks her brown eyes for an instant to
the watching dogs.
INSERT:
The female dog’s I.D. tag which reads: Nutmeg.Nutmeg slopes away down the hill, out of sight. All five male
dogs stare after her. Chief raises an eyebrow. Rex whistles
softly. Duke licks his chops. Boss attempts a glamorous pose.
King says, curious:
KING
How’s she keep her fur so clean? There’s no shampoo on
Trash Island.
No one responds to this, ostensibly, rhetorical question. Duke
says confidentially:
DUKE
You heard the rumor, right? About her and Felix.
Chief, Rex, King, and Boss mumble and mutter simultaneously
again. (”Maybe not.” “Who’s Felix?” “What happened to him?” Etc.)
Duke says bluntly:
DUKE
They mated.
Chief, Rex, King, and Boss are deeply impressed and slightly
taken-aback. Chief raises his other eyebrow. Boss says
philosophically:
BOSS
All the ones I like: they’re never in heat.
Pause. Rex looks up suddenly to the clouds. He says vaguely:
REX
That puddle-jumper’s flying crooked.
Chief, King, Boss, and Duke all turn to the sky, as well. A
distant engine sputters. King, Duke, and Boss mumble and mutter
simultaneously again. (”You’re too low.” “Throttle-back.” “Pull-
up.” Etc.) Chief cocks his head to one side and says curiously:
CHIEF
He’s going to lose a wing.
CUT TO:
A tiny, single-engine, miniature airplane the approximate length
of a ten-speed bicycle. (A decal below the nose-cone reads: Self-
Kit Junior Turbo-Prop XJ750.) It bounces violently in the
turbulent air. A tram-line clips off a wing. The airplane
improbably, some might say even miraculously, continues to flyfor another few seconds, jerking and bobbing. Finally, it pitches
hard to one side, attempts a desperate recovery climb, then curls
over and drops like a cannonball straight down behind a far-away
refuse-berm.
The explosion reverberates, and a plume of white smoke billows up
into the sky.
REVERSE:
The five dogs watch, impressed. Boss looks to the others and
marvels with a wildly dazzled look on his face:
BOSS
Wow.
Chief, Rex, King, Boss, and Duke all scramble away toward the
crash-site.
EXT. BEACH. DAY
A clearing along the dreck-ridden shore-line. There is a long,
deep rut through layers of garbage which leads to the smoldering
airplane. The fuselage is intact, but both wings are missing.
Smoke pours from the tail-fin.
The twelve-year-old pilot in an extra-small flight-suit with
stainless-steel elevated-sandals staggers from the wreckage,
hobbling on the beached-debris. He is Atari. (A patch on his
pocket states this explicitly.)
A parachute swirls on its extended lines from Atari’s backpack up
into the air. A detached section of the plane’s broken propeller-
clutch sticks out of the side of his helmet into which it appears
to have been violently imbedded like a hunk of shrapnel.
Atari limps as he struggles to unhook his chin-strap, then
collapses.
TITLE:
Part One:
“The Little Pilot”
The wind whips and whistles the white parachute. The white smoke
spirals. The white river laps at the filthy beach.
CUT TO:The five dogs watching from a nearby trash-ridge.
CHIEF
Small guy. Not much meat on him.
DUKE
Is he dead?
KING
He
looks
dead.
BOSS
I have a question. Are we eating him, or is this a
rescue?
CHIEF
We don’t know yet.
REX
(angrily)
Nobody’s eating the little pilot. Not even the dead
body of him. Dogs don’t eat masters.
CHIEF
(harshly)
You’re not our leader. We
all
are. Let’s take a vote.
REX
(instantly)
All in favor of
not
eating the little pilot, say “Aye”.
The five dogs vote: four “Ayes” and a simultaneous “Nay”. Chief
grumbles to himself bitterly. Rex descends down the trash-ridge
to the crash-site. The other dogs follow him. They circle Atari’s
comatose body. King nips at the parachute lines, setting the silk
free like a kite. The fabric wisps away up into the sky, strings
dangling. Inside his helmet, Atari’s eyes are closed.
REX
First-things-first: let’s open his helmet so he can
breathe some air (if he’s alive), then see if we can
pull that hunk of broken propeller-clutch out of the
side of his head (if it doesn’t kill him). Does that
sound right?
There is a murmur of approval. Rex peers over Atari’s helmet and
studies it. He wiggles his fore-claw under a latch. There is a
click, and Atari’s face-mask jolts open.Atari’s eyes are staring up at Rex’s face. Rex looks startled.
Atari whacks Rex’s nose with his fingers and bolts upright. The
five dogs all leap back.
Pause.
Atari launches into a heated explanation in Japanese with the
broken propeller-clutch still sticking out of the side of his
head. He goes on at some length. He climbs to his feet, unsnaps
his breast pocket, and withdraws a little card which he holds up
for each dog to see, one-by-one.
INSERT:
A publicity wood-block-print of Spots in his dog-cage.
Atari jabs his finger at the picture and repeats emphatically:
ATARI
Spots-u! Spots-u! Spots-u!
The five dogs study the picture. Rex nods. He says urgently:
REX
We get the idea. You’re looking for your lost dog,
Spots.
(to the other dogs)
Anybody know him?
King, Boss, and Duke shrug and shake their heads. They look
behind them at various other on-looking-dogs in the background.
None of them are familiar with Spots, either. (Chief, standing
apart from the rest of the group, makes no comment whatsoever.)
Atari looks frustrated. Suddenly, he grabs the broken propeller-
clutch and pulls on it angrily, struggling as the alarmed dogs
watch. It jerks out of his head/helmet with a crunch. The five
dogs gasp.
Atari keels-over again, out-cold.
INT. ARENA. NIGHT
Two gargantuan
sumo
wrestlers stand hunched, facing-off on a
sandy clay platform. Neither moves a muscle. An eye darts. A
finger twitches. Knees shudder slightly. A referee in a metallic
gold kimono eyeballs the two fighters tensely.
Suddenly, one wrestler lunges for the other’s lower-leg andflips, hurls, kicks, and slaps him out of the ring. The audience
roars and cheers. The dominant wrestler immediately turns away,
preening, gloating, and throwing salt absently across the floor.
In the audience: Major-Domo squeezes down an aisle, stepping over
legs. Mayor Kobayashi is seated in the first row between two
bodyguards. Major-Domo whispers something into his ear. The mayor
frowns and shouts over the din:
MAYOR KOBAYASHI
Atari-kun?
Major-Domo nods. The mayor curses, then stands up and charges out
of the arena with Major-Domo and the bodyguards at his heels.
INT. SOUND-STAGE. NIGHT
On a television monitor, a well-groomed news-anchor behind a desk
reads from a teleprompter in Japanese. The usual interpreter
translates:
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
In response to questions regarding the purported
disappearance of his ward Atari, Mayor Kobayashi offers
no comment and urges reporters to respect the privacy
of the mayoral-household. Atari, aged twelve, was last
seen early yesterday morning rolling a small airplane
onto a runway at Megasaki Executive airport.
EXT. HILL-TOP. DAY
A dog-hovel at the top of a high trash-mound. There is an
entrance tunnel below a plastic-bag canopy (which rustles in the
breeze). Hundreds of other make-shift animal-residences surround
the area in rows and tiers. Industrial machines grind and crank
in the distance. A tug-boat’s air-horn echoes.
TITLE:
24 Hours Later
Atari emerges crawling from the tunnel. He has removed his
helmet, but a small section of the broken propeller-clutch
remains lodged in the side of his skull. There is a secret-
service-type earphone in his left ear. (A diode-light on the wire
blinks red.) He gets to his feet and pauses.
Rex, King, Boss, and Duke wait, standing at attention. Chief
sits, slouched and surly, beside them. Atari approaches. He patsChief on the head. Chief jerks away and issues a sharp warning:
CHIEF
I bite.
Rex, King, Boss, and Duke frown at Chief. Rex says, mortified:
REX
I beg your pardon. Ignore that dog. He’s got Snout-
Fever.
Rex leads Atari away. King, Boss, and Duke follow soberly --
leaving Chief behind, alone.
(NOTE: Atari walks with a noticeable limp for the entirety of the
story.)
EXT. JUNK-YARD. DAY
The four dogs walk with Atari among dozens of scattered, upended
dog-cages. On-looking-dogs watch them from a distance. Rex
explains as they go:
REX
I never met him, but I asked around. I understand he
made a lot of friends. He had a very good-natured
temperament, I’m told. Of course, you would know best.
It’s just a bit further up here on the left. Anyway, as
I say, he seems to have been an extremely pleasant
animal.
Rex stops at a plastic dog-cage in the exact position where Spots
originally fell. There is a dog-skeleton inside. Atari stares
down blankly.
INSERT:
A hand-dyed silk dog-collar. Its I.D. tag is caked with mud, but
the first three letters remain clear: Spo-.
Atari clenches his fists. Rex says softly:
REX
Unfortunately, nobody could figure out how to open his
dog-cage.
King, Boss, and Duke nod sadly.
CLOSE-UP:Atari’s troubled face.
TITLE:
3 Years Earlier
INSERT:
A television screen mounted high on an ice-blue wall below an
acoustic-tile ceiling. The news-anchor reports while the
interpreter translates:
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
The sole survivor of last week’s colossal bullet-train
disaster, a young boy named Atari, awoke from a deep-
coma early this morning to learn of his parents’ tragic
deaths --
The reporter continues over a pre-recorded feed of: footage of
Mayor Kobayashi smiling broadly as he poses holding-up a wood-
block-print yearbook-picture of Atari; footage of the wreckage of
a derailed commuter-train; a wood-block-print of
Atari’s deceased
parents at their wedding; footage of a traditional Japanese
funeral; a post-card-image of the imposing, Gothic mayoral
residence; and Spots’ official wood-block-print press-portrait.
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
-- and also the intention of his distant-uncle, Mayor
Kobayashi, to personally adopt him as ward to the
mayoral-household. Upon his release from Megasaki
General, Atari (who suffered the loss of his right
kidney and numerous broken bones in the crash) will
live in sequestered quarters within the confines of
Brick Mansion, where he will be educated in solitude by
private tutors. Atari has also been assigned a
security-detail for his own protection in the form of a
highly-trained bodyguard-dog named Spots Kobayashi.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM. DAY
Atari lies in traction propped-up on an electric bed with both
legs elevated by pulleys and harnesses, one broken arm encased in
a plaster-cast, and a swirl of bandages wrapped around his head.
Spots waits, obedient, on the floor. He looks worried and sad. In
a scratchy, sinister voice (in Japanese), Major-Domo explains the
details of the current situation to both the boy and the dog.
Spots adds gently:SPOTS
You’re my new master. My name is Spots. I’m at your
service. I’ll be protecting your welfare and safety on
an ongoing-basis. In other words: I’m your dog.
Atari hesitates. He extends his good hand, palm down. Spots
promptly approaches, licks the back of Atari’s hand, and bows,
deferential. Atari strokes the top of Spots’ head and scratches
under his chin. Against their best efforts, they both begin to
quietly cry.
Major-Domo watches, mortified. He interrupts with a sudden
question in Japanese. Atari and Spots both look at him. They
hesitate. Major-Domo explodes (subtitled in English):
MAJOR-DOMO
Security-detail! Bodyguard-dog! Not pet!
Silence. Atari and Spots look at each other again, confused and
troubled. They do not know what to do.
A technician enters the room carrying two secret-service-type
earphones. He installs one in Atari’s ear and one in Spots’. (The
diode-light on each wire activates, blinking green.)
Major-Domo instructs Atari briefly. Atari reluctantly puts his
finger to his earphone and, looking to Spots, speaks at a low
whisper. A few words of distinct Japanese crackle from Spots’
earphone. His eyes light-up. He blurts eagerly, moved:
SPOTS
I can hear you, Master Atari-san!
Atari’s eyes continue to well-up with tears. His lips quiver as
he whispers to his dog; and Spots’ body shakes as he listens,
nodding and repeating softly:
SPOTS
I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you.
CUT TO:
The dog-skeleton.
Atari unzips a pocket and produces a small, orange locker-key
labeled: Master Pass-Key. He kneels and pulls a safety-catch
before unlocking the bolt and flipping open the door. The living-
dogs groan and grimace with frustration. Rex mutters:REX
You need a key.
Atari wipes away his tears with his sleeve. He turns and walks
away. Rex, King, and Duke follow him. They stride past several
on-looking-dogs -- including Chief, who, at some point, has
seated himself in the path behind them. He does not acknowledge
them as they pass.
Boss pokes his nose into the cage. He looks down at the dirty
I.D. tag.
INT. LABORATORY. DAY
A hydraulic sliding-door opens, and Professor Watanabe and Yoko-
ono enter a bright-white scientific research facility. A junior-
scientist gives a progress-report about a research-dog with tubes
in its nose, I.V. drips in its legs, pulse-sensors on its paws,
and a thermometer in its mouth. The juniorscientist checks the
dog’s temperature and injects it with a shot of blue serum. He
hands Professor Watanabe a computer punch-card.
INSERT:
The punch-card. There is text all over it in Japanese. The one
sentence in English is a bold-faced:
Dog-Flu: CURED.
The camera dollies half-way across the laboratory to a second
junior-scientist who gives a progress-report about a research-dog
with wires attached to its legs, neck, ears, and tail. There is a
wooden dowel clenched in its mouth, and an I.V. drip of blue
serum in its veins. The junior-scientist pulls a switch, zapping
the dog with a high-voltage electro-shock. The dog grits its
teeth and convulses. The junior-scientist checks a zig-zagging
brain-monitor read-out and makes a careful notation. He hands
Professor Watanabe another computer punch-card.
INSERT:
The next punch-card:
Snout-Fever: TREATABLE.
The camera dollies the rest of the way across the laboratory to a
third junior-scientist who gives a progress-report about two
research-dogs waiting on a platform amidst a profusion of
cameras, lasers, microphones, and various data-gathering devices.The junior-scientist drops a droplet of blue serum onto each
dog’s tongue. He toggles a lever, and an X-ray screen rises-up
from the floor in front of the couple to display the activity of
their bones only as they begin to mate. The male dog turns to
look uncertainly toward the viewers. The junior-scientist hands
Professor Watanabe another computer punch-card.
INSERT:
The final punch-card:
Litter-Reduction: 72%.
The X-ray screen goes blank and slides back down into the floor.
The two dogs approach politely. The lead junior-scientist gives
them each a treat.
The camera dollies into a small chamber where a fourth junior-
scientist fills a rack of precisely-calibrated test-tubes with
clear liquid from a beaker. He pipettes a droplet of red into
each sample. Professor Watanabe, Yoko-ono, and the four junior-
scientists each pick up a test-tube, clink them together, and
congratulate each other in Japanese. They drink the contents down
in one slug.
MONTAGE:
1. A cut-away view of a hole in the ground three feet deep. The
dog-cage with the skeleton inside descends on the end of a dirty
rope and comes to rest at the bottom of the pit. Rex, King, Boss,
and Duke begin energetically piling dirt and garbage into the
open grave as Atari recites a prayer in Japanese. On the top of
an adjacent ridge, Chief ignores the funeral-goers as he digs
through a trash-pile.
2. The crash-site. Atari whistles a bellicose Japanese folk-tune
as he hammers dents out of a detached plane-wing. Rex, King,
Boss, and Duke gather assorted bits of wreckage and help clean
the cockpit and fuselage. On a nearby rubbish-heap, Chief ignores
the repair-workers as he hunts for rats.
3. Atari whistles the folk-tune as he sits with Rex, King, Boss,
and Duke in a row at one end of a metal beam like a high-rise
construction crew. They eat grimy dinner-scraps out of cans,
jars, and paper bags. Alone at the far other end, Chief chews on
a broken chicken-bone.
4. Atari continues whistling the folk-tune as he wires a half-dead car-battery to the electronic core of the plane’s instrument
panel. All the gauges on the instrument panel suddenly spring to
life. Atari yelps with enthusiasm. Rex, King, Duke, and Boss look
impressed. Atari immediately begins to tinker with switches and
knobs. As he does so: The camera booms down to the underside of
the fuselage revealing a small black-box labeled in Japanese and
English: Flight-Data/Transponder. A tiny red light on the bottom
of it blinks-on and pulses. (Atari and the five dogs are unaware
of this occurrence.)
5. A control-tower with views of the river, air-traffic/war-room-
type consoles, and an enormous, illuminated, Plexiglas table-map
of Trash Island. Large glowing letters across the wall read:
Municipal Task Force, Dog-Catchers Division. A blip appears on
the map. A technician presses buttons and zooms-in on it. He
turns and shouts to his supervisor in Japanese.
EXT. BEACH. DAY
Atari sits inside the little airplane’s cock-pit, strapped-in
with his helmet on. The propeller is spinning. Dust kicks-up all
around. He gives a salute.
Rex, King, Boss, and Duke wait at the water’s edge. Rex nods,
proud and respectful. Further down the shore, Chief sits,
watching.
(Parts of the airplane appear to be held together with rope and
twine, while other parts seem to have been replaced with bits of
scrap-metal and salvage-plastic. One of the wheels of the
landing-gear comes from a wheelbarrow.)
Atari throttles forward. The engine sputters, then roars. The
airplane inches along the bumpy shore-line and begins to slowly
pick-up speed. Rex frowns. He squints at something attached to
Boss’ collar.
REX
Where’d you get that?
Boss hesitates. King and Duke stare at Boss’ collar: he is
wearing two I.D. tags. Boss stammers:
BOSS
What? I always had this. The Dragons gave it to me.
(pause)
I stole it off the dead skeleton.Rex bolts. Boss looks to King and Duke, confused.
CUT TO:
The make-shift runway as the airplane rattles frantically,
speeding over the trash-littered sand. Atari pulls back on the
yoke, and the wheels lift-up off the ground. The airplane rises
smoothly into the air. Atari adjusts the flaps. He looks
sideways.
Rex is running at a desperate sprint just below and alongside the
airplane. He shouts wildly, but his voice is drowned-out by the
blasting engine. Atari hesitates. Rex screams:
REX
The wrong dog died!
Atari looks perplexed. He makes a snap decision and slams back on
the throttle. The airplane drops roughly back down to earth and
bounces twice, rocking and twisting. Rex looks terrified. The
wheels chop into the sand. Atari steers serpentine among garbage-
bags like traffic on a motorway. A hunk of rubble clips off one
wing. A chunk of scrap clips off the other wing. Atari hits the
brakes, hollering, as the airplane skids, kicking up a shower of
dirt, then slams nose-down into the ground.
Atari rockets shattering through the glass cockpit-canopy and
lands seated on top of a gravel-pile. He flips-open his face-
mask. Rex dashes up to him and says breathlessly:
REX
The wrong dog died.
Boss, King, and Duke arrive at Rex’s side. Rex motions to Boss’
collar.
INSERT:
The dead skeleton’s I.D. tag with the dirt cleaned-off. It now
reads, in full: Sport.
Atari stares at the tag. He looks to Rex, electrified. Rex nods.
REX
He’s not Spots.
Atari nods and repeats this in Japanese. Chief, some distance
away with his back to the others, says darkly:CHIEF
Who’s that?
A single, very large dog in black silhouette sits watching from
the top of a rise across the clearing. Its eyes glow like two
beady little yellow light-bulbs. Chief sniffs the air and says
curiously, puzzled:
CHIEF
I can’t smell him.
INT. MAYORAL RESIDENCE. DAY
A dimly lit private bath-house. There is a large landscape-mural
on the back wall depicting a pastoral brook with footbridges,
cherry trees, a snow-capped mountain in the distance -- and
numerous prancing cats all across the landscape. Mayor Kobayashi
soaks in a round, wooden tub while Professor Watanabe sits next
to him on a cedar bench with Yoko-ono at his side. Major-Domo, in
a black kimono, ladles a spoonful of water over a dish of hot
rocks on top of a small, glowing furnace. Steam sizzles into the
air.
Professor Watanabe is in the middle of an impassioned plea in
Japanese. As he describes his methods, solutions, and
determinations, he hands the mayor the three punch-cards from the
laboratory and summarizes in English:
PROFESSOR WATANABE
Dog-Flu: no more. Snout-Fever: no more. Canine
Saturation-level: sustainable.
A black telephone rings. The mayor holds up his finger for the
professor to wait. He picks up the receiver and talks briefly in
a brusque whisper. He finishes his conversation and hangs up.
Pause. The mayor examines the punch-cards individually, back and
front. He shakes his head and mumbles. He re-examines the punch-
cards, mumbling further. Finally, he opens the door of the
furnace with a pair of tongs and slips the punch-cards neatly
into the fire. They instantly burn to ash and smoke. The mayor
shuts the furnace and says, smiling gently, almost laughing (in
English):
MAYOR KOBAYASHI
Dogs stay Trash Island.
The mayor turns away and stands up in the tub. (His back iscovered with
yakuza
tattoos.) Major-Domo appears. He snaps open a
white towel and holds it out for the mayor, and the mayor steps
out of the tub, whisking the towel around himself. Major-Domo
follows him briskly out of the room.
The professor and Yoko-ono sit in stunned silence.
EXT. SECOND CRASH-SITE. DAY
Atari, Chief, Rex, King, Boss, and Duke crouch on the ground next
to the re-demolished airplane. Whirling winds blast around them.
Atari squints and shields his eyes as he looks up to: a rumbling
rescue-drone thirty feet above, slowly descending. Steel rotors
whir on the top of the machine. Small propellers spin on the
bottom of it. Decalled around the base is: Municipal Task Force.
Atari looks left to: a robot-dog (in military mode) twenty feet
away positioned calmly on the inland side of the clearing,
blocking Atari and the five dogs’ path.
Atari looks right to: three men in silver jump-suits and metallic
helmets ten feet away on the shore in front of an amphibious,
six-wheeled landing-craft. Stencilled across each man’s chest is:
M.T.F. Dog-Catchers Division. One dog-catcher carries a
telescoping dog-net that opens and closes automatically. One
carries an electronic billy-club with a cattle-prod zapper on the
end. The third holds a silver remote-control.
INSERT:
An electronic-eye mounted on the underside of the rescue-drone.
It pans slightly.
A booming voice over a loud-speaker addresses Atari by name and
gives urgent instructions in Japanese. Atari glares-up at the
hovering vessel. He shakes his fists and unleashes a stream of
Japanese profanity. Rex says strategically:
REX
Chief, you fight the robot-dog. King, Duke, Boss? You
attack the three dog-catchers. I’ll guard the little
pilot. On my command. Ready? Sic-’em!
CHIEF
(interrupting)
Wait a second! I’m not going to fight this robot! I’m
against
the little pilot. I don’t even
believe
in
masters.REX
(fired-up)
You’re the best in a scrap. We all know that. You
like
to fight. Just be a distraction, and we’ll do the rest.
DUKE
(reasonably)
Let’s take a vote.
REX
(instantly)
All in favor of Chief fighting the robot-dog, say
“Aye”.
Four “Ayes” and one “Nay”. Chief frowns. Atari unzips one of his
pockets and produces a bamboo sling-shot. He loads it with a lug-
nut.
INSERT:
A monitor-screen at the control-tower. A technician watches an
infra-green image of Atari aiming his sling-shot and firing at
the lens of the electronic-eye. The screen splinters into
minutely-fragmented cracked-glass. The technician chatters
rapidly in Japanese with two other technicians watching over his
shoulder.
CUT TO:
Atari grinning furiously as he loads-up a second lug-nut and
prepares to shoot again -- but, just at that instant:
The rescue-drone peppers Atari and the five dogs with pellets
from a small-gauge repeater-gun. The dogs jump and yelp. The
first dog-catcher immediately slings his dog-net over Atari’s
head in one swoop. The dog-net contracts instantly, and jerks
Atari into the dog-catcher’s grip. Atari fights and yells in a
fury. The second dog-catcher zaps-away at the dogs again. The
third points his silver remote-control at the robot-dog and
presses a button.
A brief, electronic roar blasts across the landscape. (The robot-
dog’s bark sounds like a cross between an elephant and a 747.) A
set of bayonets emerges from under the robot-dog’s metallic skin.
Its canine-teeth retract and are replaced by even longer, sharper
blades. Protective metal fighting-screens close over its glowing
eye-balls. It charges in an explosion of spectacular, murderous
violence.Chief looks grievously annoyed. He intercepts the robot-dog,
bobbing, weaving, snapping, and biting in angry desperation and
terror.
INSERT:
Chief gets his jaws around one of the robot-dog’s ears. It pops-
off suddenly.
Chief and the robot-dog separate and pause. They both look
surprised. The robot-dog sees its ear held gingerly in Chief’s
teeth. Chief bolts, racing away in a circling retreat around the
ongoing dog/dog-catcher fracas with the enraged robot-dog an inch
behind him.
The first dog-catcher fights Rex and Atari, scratching and
shouting. The second dog-catcher fights Boss, biting and zapping.
The third dog-catcher punches more buttons on his
silver remote-
control as he watches the robot-dog chasing Chief in a frenzy.
From two directions at once: King and Duke launch slamming into
the third dog-catcher’s body. The remote-control spins out of his
hands and skitters away across the filthy ground.
Rex rips into the dog-net with his teeth and unzips it from
around Atari’s head. Atari wrestles-free and jumps away as Rex
seizes the first dog-catcher’s ankle.
The robot-dog catches Chief by the tail, pins him to the ground
neatly with its paws, roars again, and strikes at Chief’s jugular
vein -- but, in a flash:
The robot-dog reverse-transforms into a robotic lap-dog and sits-
back on its hind-legs.
Chief looks shocked. He spits-out the robot-dog’s detached ear.
He turns immediately toward the others and sees: Atari hunkered
behind a half-buried, side-long refrigerator with the silver
remote-control in his hands. He presses a button on it.
The robotic lap-dog rolls over and begs.
Up above: the rescue-drone rotates one way then another, adrift.
It bounces slightly off a tram-cable. Sparks shower.
INSERT:
The shattered-screen live-feed as the technician at the control-
tower struggles to blindly operate the rescue-drone, typingcommands, spinning knobs, toggling a joy-stick.
CUT TO:
The confused dog-catchers looking from the meandering rescue-
drone to the robotic lap-dog and back again as: Chief quickly
staggers off in one direction; Rex, King, Duke, and Boss scramble
off in another; and Atari dashes away excitedly in a third.
A wire snarls around the rescue-drone’s tail-rudder. The rescue-
drone pulls and stretches in an attempt to free itself -- then
the cable snaps and flies-up into the whirling rotors. The
tangled rescue-drone recoils and teeters, struggles and sputters,
then inverts and shoots-flat straight down into the ground as the
dog-catchers race away in different directions.
There is a thundering impact; then a miniature, but nevertheless
impressive, nuclear explosion.
INSERT:
An infra-green, security-camera still-image on the screen of a
television set showing: Atari on the beach glaring up at
the
electronic-eye, teeth gritted in a look of sheer, warlike
determination. The five dogs at his side look angry and
ferocious. (A caption on the image reads: Rescue-Drone
Surveillance-Feed.) A dynamic, local-news wipe brings us to a
talk-show set with two swiveling arm-chairs where the news-anchor
interviews Mayor Kobayashi in Japanese. The mayor pets a Siamese
cat in his lap while he talks. The interpreter translates the
mayor’s statement:
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
My ward, Atari, has been kidnapped against his will by
a pack of disobedient, contagious, infected animals. He
will be rescued promptly, returned to safety, and
grounded for the duration of his childhood years. His
five dog-abductors have been identified through the use
of advanced Tooth-and-Tail Recognition Software:
MONTAGE:
An elderly man surrounded by children in a math classroom holds
up a wood-block-print of a clean and cheery Rex. A rotund man in
a white apron standing in front of a hundred stacked cans labeled
Doggy-Chop holds up a wood-block-print of a fresh-scrubbed King.
The captain of a high-school baseball team down on one knee
alongside his team-mates holds up a wood-block-print of Bossgripping a baseball in his teeth. A middle-aged matron holds up a
wood-block-print of Duke soaking in a bubble-bath. An
expressionless dog-catcher holds up Chief’s dog-pound wood-block-
print mug-shot.
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
They will, of course, be captured and violently
destroyed.
The news-anchor looks to the camera. The stage-lights dim for a
commercial. Mayor Kobayashi jerks a lavalier off his lapel and
strides off the set in the darkness with his cat in his arms.
INSERT:
A battery-powered torch-light hanging from a discarded coat-tree.
A small plastic badge reads: Atari K.
INT. DOG-HOVEL. DAY
The interior of the five dogs’ cave, a formation of smashed car-
parts and crushed kitchen-machines. Under the torch-light’s glow,
Atari administers first-aid from a flight-kit. Rex’s leg has
three bandages on it. King’s right eye has a gauze patch
adhesive-taped over it. Duke wears five bright-blue stitches
across his forehead. Atari plucks a last pellet from Boss’ right
flank with tweezers. Boss mutters:
BOSS
Chief ought to get a check-up, too. He looks worse than
anybody.
Chief has a split lip, a bloody nose, and one eye nearly swollen-
shut. He stands alone just outside the pooled light. Atari stands
up and begins a speech (in Japanese). He goes on at some length.
He points his finger into the air and shakes his fists. Duke
says, aside:
DUKE
I wish somebody spoke his language.
Atari scrunches up his face in pain and rage. He shouts
(subtitled in English):
ATARI
Starting right now. From this second: you are all my
dogs!
(thundering in semi-English:)
Sit-o!KING
(briskly)
Well, I understood
that
. Sit down.
Rex, King, Duke, and Boss all sit down at once. Atari’s face
fills with strange emotion and power. He hollers a defiant oath
in Japanese. He frowns. He repeats:
ATARI
Sit-o.
Rex hesitates. He turns and sees: Chief has remained on his feet,
obstinate. Rex hollers:
REX
Chief! Sit!
CHIEF
(simply)
I don’t sit.
Rex seethes. He growls, furious:
REX
You’re disobedient!
Pause. Chief curls away and disappears through a drain-pipe.
Atari looks hurt. He scratches his head. He flicks a switch on a
transistor-radio. A martial-version of the folk-tune with drums
and chants echoes from a tinny little speaker. He stands akimbo
and stares into space. The remaining dogs look intrigued but
uneasy.
CUT TO:
Another rescue-drone gliding through the air with its helicopter-
spotlight searching and scanning across the landscape. It pivots
left and right before it continues away into the background. Two
more rescue-drones criss-cross in the middle-distance. The camera
booms down to reveal the dog-hovel’s entrance tunnel. Chief’s
head pokes out.
EXT. JUNK-YARD. NIGHT
Black rats crawl and screech in the rubble around the base of a
waste-water tank. A leaky water-spout drips into a tin garden-
pail. Chief approaches. He sits back on his hind legs and watches
the droplets plip-plop, one-by-one. A cricket chirps. Waves roll.
Chief laps-up a sip from the bucket. A smoky, alto-voice saysfrom above:
NUTMEG
I wouldn’t drink that, if I were you.
Chief jumps and looks up to the top of the water tank where
Nutmeg (the long-limbed spaniel with the shampooed coat) stares
down at him from behind her silky ears. She lies on her stomach
with her front paws hanging draped over the edge of the tank.
NUTMEG
It’s full of toxic chemicals.
CHIEF
(with his mouth full of water)
How do you know?
NUTMEG
Because my sister-in-law drank it, and her tongue
turned black.
CHIEF
Oh.
Chief spits out the water. Pause. He blurts:
CHIEF
You’re Felix’s mate.
NUTMEG
(taken aback)
I beg your pardon?
CHIEF
(back-peddling)
I mean, I think you mated with Felix, if I heard it
right.
NUTMEG
(deeply insulted)
That’s none of your business.
CHIEF
No, I don’t suggest whether it actually
happened
or
not. I’m just saying I recognize you from when I heard
that
rumor
.
NUTMEG
(with finality)I think I’m going to say good-night.
CHIEF
(desperate)
Wait. Start over. Who cares about Felix? I’m Chief.
(quietly)
That’s
my
name.
NUTMEG
(evenly)
I see.
CHIEF
(clearing his throat)
I’m introducing myself. Who are you?
NUTMEG
I thought you knew all about me.
CHIEF
I don’t know
any
thing. I should’ve kept my mouth shut.
It’s all hearsay. Anyway, you’re Nutmeg.
NUTMEG
So you
do
know me, after all.
CHIEF
After all? Yes.
Pause. Chief lowers his voice, provocative:
CHIEF
You a show-dog, Nutmeg?
Nutmeg bristles. She says coolly, defensive:
NUTMEG
I was
bred
as a show-dog. I was groomed for that
purpose. It wasn’t my choice, and I don’t consider it
my identity. Anyway, look around. What difference does
it make now?
CHIEF
So that’s a yes.
NUTMEG
So that’s a: yes, I
used
to be.
CHIEF(suddenly)
May I join you?
Without waiting for an answer, Chief disappears behind the water
tank, clanks up what sounds to be a metallic spiral-staircase,
and presents himself directly in front of Nutmeg. Only now does
she see his injuries. She gasps slightly:
NUTMEG
You’ve been attacked.
CHIEF
(shrugs)
What else is new? You should see the other dog.
Actually, I think he’s made of stainless-steel. I
couldn’t get my teeth into him.
NUTMEG
(pause)
Who
is
the little pilot? What’d he do? Why are they
after him?
CHIEF
Nobody knows.
Chief and Nutmeg look out at the city, across the river. The
distant rescue-drones cruise and circle. Nutmeg asks softly:
NUTMEG
You’re a stray, aren’t you?
CHIEF
I’m a stray, sure --
(with
savoir-faire
)
-- but aren’t we all? In the last analysis, I mean.
Pause. Nutmeg licks a speck of dirt off her paw. She sits up
tall, especially poised.
CHIEF
Were you trained? For competition.
NUTMEG
(shrugs)
I was a show-dog.
CHIEF
(seen-it-all)
You know a few tricks, then.NUTMEG
A few.
CHIEF
(suddenly eager)
Can I see one?
NUTMEG
(gently)
Maybe if I get to know you better.
CHIEF
(pause)
Fair enough.
NUTMEG
It’s not true, by the way. About me and Felix. For the
record.
(pause)
I wouldn’t bring puppies into this world.
Chief nods. He says carefully:
CHIEF
I don’t believe in masters. I never did. It’s against
my principles -- but this is no place for a dog like
you. You belong somewhere. You’ve got
papers
.
NUTMEG
(playful)
I’m full-grown, sweetheart. You don’t have to worry
about me.
(pause)
Good-night.
Nutmeg trots across the top of the water tank to the staircase.
Chief hesitates. He stutters slightly:
CHIEF
I hope I’ll see you again.
Nutmeg waits a beat. She turns around and stares at Chief. She
says finally:
NUTMEG
Here’s one.
CHIEF
(pause)One what?
Nutmeg springs up onto a single hind-leg, spins a rapid rotation,
then raises a front-paw into the air and stares up at it.
NUTMEG
I’m supposed to be spinning a nine-pound bowling-ball
over my head at
this point, but you just have to
imagine that part.
CHIEF
(instantly)
I can picture it.
Nutmeg ends the trick. She asks softly, just-curious:
NUTMEG
Will you help him? The little pilot.
CHIEF
(long pause)
Why should I?
NUTMEG
(surprised at the question)
Because he’s a twelve-year-old boy. Dogs love those.
Nutmeg pads away down the steps. Chief sits alone, silent.
CUT TO:
Atari curled-up under a tarp. The music has stopped. Rex, King,
Duke, and Boss sit huddled on the floor nearby. They confer in
hushed voices:
KING
Spots, whoever he is, might be alive, and he might be
dead, but one thing’s for sure: he’s nowhere around
here
. He’s not in the dog-community.
DUKE
There’s probably another five hundred Japanese-hectares
of unmapped wasteland on Trash Island (at least). Where
do we start?
BOSS
Also, the mental-health question: maybe it’s because of
that propeller-clutch stuck in the side of his head (I
can’t say, I’m not a doctor), but I think the littlepilot’s got a screw loose.
REX
Those are the
cons
.
DUKE
(interrupting)
You heard the rumor, right? About the little pilot.
Rex, King, and Boss mumble and mutter simultaneously again.
(”What rumor?” “Remind us again.” “I never heard it.” Etc.) Duke
says, mysterious:
DUKE
Kobayashi’s his distant uncle. He’s the mayor’s ward.
Rex, King, and Boss look surprised and slightly perplexed. Rex
resumes his speech:
REX
Be that as it may, let’s look at the
pros
. That boy
flew here, all alone, and crash-landed onto this island
for one reason and one reason only: to find his dog. To
the best of my knowledge, no other master, not one
single human master, has made any effort to do that.
They’ve forgotten all about us.
King, Duke, and Boss nod, thoughtful, taking the point. Rex says
soberly:
REX
I propose we start tomorrow at first-light. We’ll cross
the Middle Fingers. We’ll find the Tug-boat on the
Dune. We’ll go see Jupiter and Oracle. They’ll know
what to do. Let’s take a vote. All in favor say “Aye”.
They vote: four “Ayes” -- and an unexpected, off-screen “Nay”.
Rex frowns.
REX
Who’s the nay-sayer?
Three “hims”, one “me”. They all stare at: Chief, who has quietly
joined them just outside their circle. He says soberly:
CHIEF
That kid’s going to get us all put to sleep.
Euthanized.Chief approaches. He lowers himself to the ground and says with
dead-certainty:
CHIEF
We won’t find the dog, but we’ll die trying.
Rex nods. He shrugs and says quietly:
REX
Not a bad way to go. You’re out-voted, anyway.
EXT. TRADITIONAL INN. DAY
An ancient, wooden building on stilts over a winding brook. Two
bodyguards with sub-machine-guns flank the entrance. The news-
anchor, standing in a Zen garden in front of the structure,
speaks into the camera while the interpreter translates:
INTERPRETER
Science-Party Candidate Professor Watanabe has been
placed under house-arrest today at Toho Mountain
Ryokan
after offering sharp criticism last night of the
Kobayashi Administration’s Canine Saturation-crisis
policy:
INSERT:
A portable television set with a plastic label which reads: A.V.
Dept. On-screen: Professor Watanabe rants in a furious rage to an
off-camera interviewer. Yoko-ono waits, uneasy, in the back-
ground. The interpreter delivers a somewhat softened version of
the professor’s comments:
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
Respectfully, I submit that the dog-banishment program
known as the Trash Island Decree serves neither the
public welfare nor the civic good. My simple message to
Mayor Kobayashi: terminate your unjust policy.
Without explanation: Professor Watanabe reaches into his breast-
pocket, takes out a serum-vial of the blue liquid, and shows it
to the camera. He looks exhausted, on the verge of tears.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL. DAY
A classroom over-looking an elevated motorway. A bold-faced
banner above the chalkboard reads in English: Megasaki Senior
High Daily-Manifesto. A fifteen-year-old student dressed in
black, military-style school-uniform with a Mao-jacket powers-offthe television set with a crackle. He is Editor-Hiroshi.
As he paces, Editor-Hiroshi talks rapidly, out-loud but half to
himself. Nine other students in the same black uniforms seated in
a sprawled jumble (they comprise the Daily-Manifesto staff) join-
in jabbering in a general cacophony. One wears a black beret;
another has on beatnik-style
sunglasses; several wear Pro-Dog
head-bands. Suddenly, Editor-Hiroshi stops short and shouts for
silence. He points.
CUT TO:
A slender white hand raised-up into the air in the back row
behind the rest of the Daily-Manifesto staff. Everyone turns
around in their school-chairs and looks, revealing: Tracy Walker
(the golden-haired girl from the Municipal Dome audience). She is
dressed in the female version of the black school-uniform, which
roughly resembles a sailor’s costume. Editor-Hiroshi gives her
the floor.
EDITOR-HIROSHI
Foreign-exchange-student Walker.
Tracy stands up. She speaks politely but assertively. (This
conversation is conducted in English.)
TRACY
Thank you, Editor-Hiroshi. You all know me. I speak my
mind, and sometimes that ruffles some feathers. Please,
forgive my bluntness. Mayor Kobayashi is a crook, and I
hate him. Right now, he faces a divided congress during
a hotly-contested re-election year. Dogs are dying on a
miserable island. Gullible masters have been
brainwashed. The Science-Party Candidate is being held
against his will with no recourse to legal counsel.
Somebody’s up to something.
A wave of murmuring ripples through the Daily-Manifesto staff.
Editor-Hiroshi asks Tracy, intrigued:
EDITOR-HIROSHI
You have a conspiracy theory?
Long pause. Tracy concedes:
TRACY
I have a hunch.
Another wave of murmuring. Editor-Hiroshi says brusquely,dismissive:
EDITOR-HIROSHI
I don’t print hunch.
Editor-Hiroshi turns away and begins to write in Japanese on the
chalkboard. An eraser slaps into the back of his head with a puff
of chalk. He spins around. Tracy, now on her feet, brandishes a
second eraser. She says with dark drama:
TRACY
I’ll spell it out. I believe Municipal Dome propaganda
has deliberately stoked irrational, Anti-Dog fear and
suppressed a medically proven Dog-Flu treatment in
order to promote a secret campaign to turn the country
against its innocent house-pets. There. I said it.
The room erupts with a chattering range of reactions: surprise,
disbelief, vindication, alarm, and amusement. Editor-Hiroshi
silences the room again and says to Tracy:
EDITOR-HIROSHI
Can you prove it?
Tracy takes a deep breath. She says earnestly:
TRACY
I don’t know. To tell you the truth: I don’t know.
The Daily-Manifesto staff mulls this over. Editor-Hiroshi says
finally:
EDITOR-HIROSHI
You got forty-eight hour.
INT. MAYORAL RESIDENCE. NIGHT
A boardroom with a long, black-lacquered conference-table and a
landscape-mural on the wall depicting a snowy garden outside a
Shinto
temple. Mayor Kobayashi, at the head of the table with his
Siamese cat in his lap, addresses (in Japanese) a seated group. A
middle-aged, balding stenographer taps away throughout the
meeting. There is a small device labeled Simul-Translate attached
to the stenotype machine. Its slightly metallic voice renders the
mayor’s comments into English:
SIMUL-TRANSLATE (V.O.)
As you know, we all hate dogs.The camera pans from the mayor to a reedy, bespectacled-executive
in a three-piece suit. A short-haired white cat with a ring
around its eye sits in his lap.
SIMUL-TRANSLATE (V.O.)
Chairman Fujimoto-san, President of Kobayashi
Pharmaceutical. You secretly introduced mega-quantities
of infected fleas and contagious tick-larvae into a
metropolitan city center, creating an unprecedented
animal-disease outbreak. Thank you.
The group applauds politely as the camera pans from the
bespectacled-executive to a high-ranking, square-jawed military-
officer in uniform with medals and decorations displayed across
his breast-pocket. A spotted yellow tom-cat sits in his lap.
SIMUL-TRANSLATE (V.O.)
General Yamatachi-san, Commander of the Kobayashi
Municipal Task Force. You oversaw the deportation of
over 750,000 caged-animals to a nearly uninhabitable,
off-shore refuse-center. Good work.
The group applauds politely as the camera pans from the military-
officer to a technology-tycooness with a shellacked-bouffant
hair-do and a boldly patterned kimono with a fur collar. A fluffy
orange tabby sits in her lap.
SIMUL-TRANSLATE (V.O.)
Supervisor Kitano-san, Director of Kobayashi Robotics.
You developed the most promising artificial life-form
in the history of corporate-technology -- and a
powerful new weapon, to boot. Well done.
The group applauds politely as the camera pans from the
technology-tycooness to a
yakuza
-gangster in a Nehru-jacket
featuring a diamond-stud just below the neck. A white-eyed black
cat sits in his lap.
SIMUL-TRANSLATE (V.O.)
Yakuza
Nakamura-san, Head of the Clenched-Fist Gang.
You eliminated all Pro-Dog opposition through the use
of bribery, extortion, intimidation, and violent force.
My compliments.
The group applauds politely as the camera pans from the
yakuza
-
gangster back to the mayor.
SIMUL-TRANSLATE (V.O.)Brains have been washed. Wheels have been greased. Fear
has been mongered. Now we prepare for the final stage
of our conspiracy-theory: the permanent end to the
Canine Saturation-crisis.
CUT TO:
A sign being hoisted above the entrance to a construction-site.
Bold, metallic letters in Japanese and English read: Trash Island
Temporary Dog-Camp #1. Two bull-dozers shove rubbish back-and-
forth along the edges of a freshly cleared plot. Rows of chain-
link fencing divide and segment the compound into numerous
paddocks and corrals. Plastic refugee-dog holding-pens have been
installed in long rows and columns stacked three-high. A metal
control-shed has been erected near the entrance. Dog-catcher
construction-crews drill, saw, and hammer.
Nearby, a broad-shouldered commanding dog-catcher (wearing a cap
rather than the helmet worn by the others) responds to questions
from a TV news-reporter while the interpreter translates:
INTERPRETER
We believe we’ve recovered a viable DNA sample from
this article of damaged aviation equipment. We’re going
to check it right now if you care to observe.
The commander holds-up a ziploc bag labeled: Clue-Pouch. He
unzip-locs it and withdraws Atari’s broken propeller-clutch, then
kneels down in front of one of the robot-dogs and holds-up the
propeller-clutch to its nose. A pair of small ducts on the robot-
dog’s snout slide-open. It electronically inhales. A little
speaker emits a low-pitched ding. A tiny screen on the robot-
dog’s throat lights-up.
INSERT:
The screen. It flickers rapidly, shuffling like a slot-machine --
then freezes, showing: the infra-green Atari/sling-shot image.
The robot-dog turns away, searching the ground to pick-up the
scent, as the other four robot-dogs wait in line to sniff the
broken propeller-clutch.
The camera dollies to Atari’s destroyed fuselage. A very young
rookie dog-catcher (tall, exceedingly skinny, thin-necked,
wearing round spectacles inside his helmet) twists and tugs at
something in the wreckage. He pulls out: the Flight-
Data/Transponder black-box. He stares at the device. He looksaround, furtive, then tucks it secretly inside his jump-suit.
INSERT:
The publicity wood-block-print of Spots in his dog-cage held in
Atari’s hand as his feet march along a sandy shore.
TITLE:
Part Two:
“The Search for Spots”
GRAPHIC:
A wood-block-print map of Trash Island. It identifies the three
major sections of the land-mass from south to north: The
Metropolitan Dumping-Grounds, The Middle Fingers, and The Far-
away Cuticles. A dotted line charts the travelers’ course from
farthest south up to their current location in the middle of The
Middle Fingers.NARRATOR (V.O.)
The Middle Fingers of Trash Island wind and weave up-
river, interstitched by zig-zagging pipe-lines and
rusty viaducts.
MONTAGE:
Chief, Rex, King, Duke, and Boss follow Atari single-file down a
high-rail track alongside mounds of black ore and piles of white
gravel. They march up a skinny path through a canyon between rows
of hulking, steel tower-silos. They circle around the rim of an
exploded crater above the wreckage of a vast foundry dusted in
ash.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
The ruins of a failed utility-complex washed-out by
tsunami. The rubble of an abandoned power-plant
demolished by earthquake. The remains of a deserted
industrial-estate destroyed by volcanic blast.
EXT. ACCESS-ROAD. DAY
A straight and narrow tarmac runs along the edge of a weedy,
overgrown golf-course on a sand-bar between the river and the
bay. The black asphalt is cracked and fissured.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
The Old Trash Island Athletic Club, member-less and
long-forgotten.
Atari walks with extreme purpose, whistling the folk-tune. The
five dogs trail a few meters behind him. King asks a general
question:
KING
What’s your favorite food?
REX
A double-portion of Doggy-Chop from the can mixed into
a bowl of broken Puppy-Snaps with a vitamin crushed-up
into it.
BOSS
King’s the spokes-dog for that. He’s the Doggy-Chop
dog.
KING
Used
to be.DUKE
Was that your daily meal?
REX
Not always. My master was a school-teacher. We weren’t
rich. You?
KING
A center-cut Kobe rib-eye, seared, on the bone, with
salt and pepper.
REX
Wow.
KING
It was my birthday supper. Every year.
BOSS
Mine’s hot-sausage, yakitori-style. The snack vendor
always saved me one on game-days.
KING
Duke?
DUKE
Green-tea ice cream. My master had a sweet-tooth. I
probably inherited it from her.
(by-the-way:)
You heard the rumor, right? About Doggy-Chop.
Rex, King, and Boss mumble and mutter simultaneously again. (”Not
really.” “I don’t think so.” “What’s the rumor?” Etc.) Duke says
with an air of the inevitable:
DUKE
They folded.
This news hits King the hardest. He whimpers.
REX
How about you, Chief? What’s
your
favorite food?
Chief, as usual, brings up the rear. He says vaguely:
CHIEF
Me? I don’t care. Garbage, trash, scraps of rubbish.
I’m used to left-overs.
The other four dogs nod and murmur, thoughtful, sympathetic. Abeat.
CHIEF
Of course, I wasn’t
always
a stray.
Rex does a double-take. He hesitates.
REX
What’d you say?
CHIEF
I say, of course, I wasn’t
always
--
The five dogs interrupt simultaneously, intrigued. (”Since when?”
“What do you mean?” “You had a master?” Etc.) Atari sits on a
concrete stump and massages a stitch out of his foot. (He wears
socks with a separation for the big toe.) Boss flops down onto
the asphalt. Rex stretches and cracks his neck. Duke leans-back
with his legs crossed. They all stare at Chief, anticipating.
Chief begins, reluctantly, at the beginning:
CHIEF
I’ve been hunted by dog-catchers all my life. I’m not
easy to trap. I’ve only got three captures on my record
(where I actually got sent to the pound, I mean), and
the first two times, I escaped within twenty-four hours
--
(gravely)
-- but the third time, I got adopted before I could
finish digging the break-out-tunnel. It was a big
family. Five kids. Two other dogs, already. They stuck
me in the back of a station-wagon and drove me out to
the middle of the sticks. Grass, trees, a swimming
pool. Cartoons on T.V. Anyway, one morning a week
later, the youngest boy, his name was Toshiro, woke me
up at six-fifteen, bright-eyed, wide-awake --
(quietly)
-- and tried to pet me. He didn’t mean anything by it.
He was just being friendly.
(pause)
Apparently, I bit him so hard I nearly chewed his hand
off. Blood all over the kitchen floor. They rushed him
to the emergency room, and I got padlocked out in the
tool-shed with the lights out. It gave me some time to
think.
(pained)
What happened? Why’d I do that? To this day, I have noidea. I guess he scared me.
(simply)
I bite. That night, an old woman (she must’ve been the
grandmother) brought me out a bowl of home-made
hibachi-
chili. I like to think she cooked it
for me,
personally -- but who knows? Maybe it was just more
left-overs. (You’ve got a tick.)
Chief plucks a blood-sucking parasite off Rex’s skin with his
front teeth and spits it into a rusty peanut-can with a patink
like a spittoon. The other dogs listen solemnly as Chief
concludes:
CHIEF
Anyway, that’s my favorite food I ever ate. The old
woman made a great bowl of chili.
REX
(pause)
What happened after that?
CHIEF
(shrugs)
I dug my way out by morning, jumped on the back of a
dump-truck, and hitched back into Megasaki. I was
always a street-dog, let’s face it.
A branch snaps in the nearby, over-grown putting-green. (A
plastic flag on a pole reads: 7th Hole.) The five dogs turn
sharply. Atari is several paces ahead with his back to them --
aiming his sling-shot at an unseen target. He says something in
Japanese. Chief nods and grunts. He says, ominous:
CHIEF
Somebody’s stalking us.
The tops of the tall grasses shiver: a little winding movement
which starts and stops, moving slowly in their direction. They
all wait, anxious, as: an enormous, grizzled, ancient, three-
legged St. Bernard with a glass eye and the bearing of a Roman
senator floats crookedly into view. He is Jupiter. A small, smug
she-pug appears beside him. (Her I.D. tag reads: Oracle.)
Jupiter’s vocal cords have been brined, smoked, cured, charred,
and tuned-down half an octave. He asks:
JUPITER
Who’s the little pilot?INT. SOUND-STAGE. NIGHT
The news-anchor reports from his desk, once again. (The
interpreter in her booth is joined this time by an eight-year-old
boy with freckles.)
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
Foreign-exchange-student Tracy Walker of the Megasaki
Senior High Daily-Manifesto has obtained an illicit
bootleg-copy of Atari Kobayashi’s
official black-box
distress-signal recording:
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL. DAY
A small assembly in a compact, inner-city, cement recesscourt.
The Daily-Manifesto staff (including Editor-Hiroshi) all wear T-
shirts silk-screened with the infra-green Atari drone image and
carry picket-signs wood-block-printed with pictures of each of
their dogs and its bold-faced name: Daisy, Bingo, Scrappy, Dixie,
Smoky, Hugs, Roscoe, Atom, Bandit, and Zap. Tracy at the front of
the group addresses the camera in English:
TRACY
We call upon dog-lovers everywhere to harken to this
transmission:
Editor-Hiroshi presses play on a hand-held memo-recorder. Atari’s
voice cuts through the static and the noise of his stuttering
engine.
JUVENILE INTERPRETER (V.O.)
May-day! May-day! Unscheduled Junior Turbo-Prop in
severe distress over Sapporo River. Engine-failure, and
--
(a loud crunch)
-- detachment of left wing.
MONTAGE:
Young viewers across the city of Megasaki listen to Atari: five
brothers in their family den; five sisters in their family
kitchen; ten boys and girls in their school library; a gang of
teenagers at a neon-lit noodle-shop. (Each group is shot from
behind the television-viewers’ backs, with the same grainy infra-
green Atari/sling-shot image on their screens and a caption in
Japanese and English: Boot-leg S.O.S.)
JUVENILE INTERPRETER (V.O.)Will attempt emergency-landing on Trash Island coast.
Please, make note of the following: to my security-
detail/bodyguard-dog, Spots Kobayashi, if still living,
I leave all my worldly possessions. If Spots has
preceded me into the next life, I ask that everything,
including my own bones and Spots’ carcass, be burned in
a crematory furnace, with our ashes scattered to the
four-winds. It will not amount to much pollution in
this sad land. If I survive, ignore this message.
(grimly determined:)
I’ve gone to find my dog.
Editor-Hiroshi presses stop on his memo-recorder. Tracy has tears
in her eyes. She shouts:
TRACY
Young masters of Megasaki: unite!
Tracy holds up her own defiant placard: Nutmeg.
EXT. SHORE-LINE. DAY
The carcass of a beached tug-boat, cracked, crumbling, rotten,
and rusty, sits perched on the crest of a sludge-dune above a
stagnant tidal-canal.
INT. BEACHED TUG-BOAT. DAY
A ship’s galley, half-buried in slurry sand. Jupiter flicks the
cork-stopper out of a wooden cask hanging around his neck and
decants a generous dose of rich, amber liquid into a large dog-
bowl with his name printed on it.
JUPITER
Turpentine brandy. It cools the head and warms the dog-
bones.
Jupiter sits at the head of the assembled group. The visitors
wait respectfully as Jupiter re-plugs the stopper with his
tongue. They all drink together from the bowl. Oracle says
sagely, aside:
ORACLE
It may snow tonight.
BOSS
(extremely interested)
Really? Thank you very much. Wow.ORACLE
(shrugs)
To whom it may concern.
Oracle drinks another sip. Boss whispers to King, awed:
BOSS
She sees the future.
King scoffs and motions across the room. Boss looks.
CUT TO:
A small, partially disassembled television-set branded Visions
Electronics Cathode 10” with a weather-report inprogress wired to
a decrepit current-generator. The newsanchor points at a drifting
cold-front.
KING
She understands T.V.
Boss frowns. Jupiter begins:
JUPITER
You seek a dog named Spots.
Rex nods. Atari produces the picture of Spots and shows it to
Jupiter and Oracle. Oracle says quietly:
ORACLE
Dog-Zero.
JUPITER
(nodding)
Dog-Zero.
Chief and Rex exchange a puzzled look. Jupiter begins a brief
lecture:
JUPITER
As you know, most of the animals on this island come
from human homes with domesticated back-grounds.
However, a small population of savage, aboriginal dogs
have been scavenging the Metro-politan Dumping-Grounds
for nearly a decade. The graffiti on this wall depicts
the story.
Jupiter stands in front of a graffiti-mural (in spray-paint,
magic-marker, and knife-scratch) on a cinder-block wall. Asequence of images shows:
1. A map of Trash Island with an inset/blow-up of a dot at its
farthest-northern tip: a tiny island off the shore of the main
land-mass.
2. Numerous dogs with stitches and bandages on their heads and
bodies, coded hospital-bands around their necks and ankles, and
plastic tags on their ears, legs, and tails. Graffiti-text in
Japanese and English reads: Kobayashi Animal-Testing (Canine
Division).
3. An off-shore research-laboratory on stilts being hit by a
tidal-wave as the earth cracks open and a volcano erupts in the
back-ground. Desperate dogs drown and burn, but many scramble
away from their panicking scientist-captors.
Jupiter continues in voice-over:
JUPITER (V.O.)
They were born into captivity on the ends of the
fringes of the most distant reaches of the island. They
endured great suffering and cruelty at the hands of
their former masters. Finally, in the wake of an Act of
God, they escaped -- to a harsh and desperate freedom.
Jupiter laps-up another shot of the strong drink.
JUPITER
Some say they died away over the subsequent years,
starving and forgotten. Some say they swam to the
mainland, but this seems unlikely. (Too far to dog-
paddle.)
(mysteriously)
Some say they’re still with us, in the Far-away
Cuticles, beyond the Middle Fingers.
(dramatic pause)
We know the animal you seek.
The five dogs look surprised and intrigued. Jupiter explains:
JUPITER
He has appeared in Oracle’s visions.
BRIEF FLASH-BACK:
A high-rise apartment over a city-park in the middle of the
night. Jupiter and Oracle sit on a plush carpet in front of a
large-screen television set branded Visions Electronics Vivid-Color 26”. They are watching the broadcast of Spots in his dog-
cage on the podium at the Municipal Dome.
JUPITER (V.O.)
He was the first unfortunate pet to be exiled to Trash
Island.
Jupiter finishes the bowl of turpentine brandy and licks his
lips. He hypothesizes with quiet gravity:
JUPITER
A prophecy suggests itself: Spots (if he’s alive) may
very well be living, even at this moment, as a captive
prisoner abducted into the company of these wild,
savage dogs.
(sharply aside)
Oracle, what do you think?
Oracle has fallen asleep in front of the television set. (A
contestant on a game-show plays Whac-a-Mole with a giant, puffy
mallet. The audience screams, ecstatic.) Jupiter brushes this
annoyance aside and concludes:
JUPITER
Continue your journey. Have faith in your cause. Luck
and good fortune be unto you.
Jupiter turns and exits the room. Chief, Rex, King, Duke, and
Boss absorb all this new information. Atari, listening acutely,
nods and pretends to understand. Duke says discreetly, aside:
DUKE
You heard the rumor, right? About these aboriginal
dogs.
Chief, Rex, King, and Boss mumble and mutter simultaneously
again. (”Not really.” “I don’t think so.” “Remind us again.”
Etc.) Duke says bluntly:
DUKE
They’re cannibals.
The four dogs hesitate. Chief asks pointedly:
CHIEF
You’re telling me they’re going to want to eat us?
DUKE
(pause)Well, they’re cannibals.
INT. SUSHI BAR. DAY
A grey-haired sushi-chef with a brush-cut and a head-band chops
and slices behind a lunch-counter. He butchers a flopping, pink
river-fish, sears it, and dots each piece with crystal-salt. He
assassinates a live, pink star-fish, dissects it, and tops each
tendril with a tiny fish-eye. He euthanizes a wriggling, pink
octopus-leg, slivers it, and paints each slice with glittery-
green
wasabi
-- with the exception of one, single serving, which
he finishes with a
yellow
wasabi
. The sushi-chef packages the
order neatly in a
bento
-box, slips the
bento
-box into a wax-paper
sleeve, and drops the wax-paper-sleeved
bento
-box into a white
sack labeled:
For Delivery:
Professor Watanabe
(Hotel-Guest Under House-Arrest)
Toho Mountain
Ryokan
The sushi-chef ties the sack with tight twine and places it on
the counter. He nods gravely to:
The
yakuza
-gangster in a delivery-boy uniform-disguise.
INT. TRADITIONAL INN. DAY
A hotel room with
tatami
flooring and paper-screen partitions.
Professor Watanabe, unshaven and weary, dressed in a kimono with
his hair wet and his sunglasses on, rapidly works his way morsel-
by-morsel through the contents of the
bento
-box. He sips a beer.
He eats a bit of ginger. He stares down at:
INSERT:
The last piece.
Professor Watanabe hesitates. He frowns, suspicious. He takes a
miniscule taste of the yellow
wasabi
on the end of a chopstick.
He swallows and waits. He picks up the piece of sushi and studies
it at some length.
MONTAGE:
1. The crow’s-nest of the Tug-boat on the Dune in a whistling
snow-storm. A half-full trash-tram approaches on a low cable.
Atari and the five dogs jump onboard like hobos hopping a
freight-train. They look back at Jupiter and Oracle watching froma broken window and disappear into the white-out.
2. The newsroom at Megasaki Senior High. Tracy, Editor-Hiroshi,
and the Daily-Manifesto staff sit glued to their television set,
watching in horror as live-feed footage shows Professor
Watanabe’s corpse being rolled on a gurney into the Megasaki City
Morgue.
3. The front-page of the morning-edition of the Daily-Manifesto.
Headline: Scientist Poisons Self! Boy-hunt Continues.
4. A trail of foot-prints in the crunchy frost over the abandoned
golf-course. A team of dog-catchers follows five sniffing robot-
dogs up the asphalt path and onto the fairway. Three rescue-
drones circle above, humming.
5. Professor Watanabe’s laboratory. Furniture and equipment all
around the room: smashed, scattered, and demolished. Yellow-tape
stretched across the area reads: Condemned Facility. Posted signs
state: All Further Research Forbidden (by Order of the Mayoral
Office). Yoko-ono sits on the floor with her arms wrapped around
her body, rocking and muttering to herself as she stares into
space.
INSERT:
The laboratory wall-safe. Ten serum-vials inside lie shattered in
a thin puddle of the blue liquid.
EXT. TRASH-TRAM. DAY
Rex summarizes to Chief, King, Duke, Boss, and Atari as they
glide through the air:
REX
We’re approaching the end of Old Trash Island. To the east: the
Sapporo River and Megasaki City. To the west: the open-sea. To
the north: a long, rickety cause-way over a noxious sludge-marsh
leading to a radio-active land-fill polluted by toxic chemical-
garbage. That’s our destination.
Atari listens but shows no sign of comprehension. Chief, staring
down at the ground, appears to be ignoring the
discussion
altogether. King, Duke, and Boss, however, seem inexplicably
gung-ho. They respond in unison:
KING
Got it.DUKE
Perfect.
BOSS
Great.
The rear-section of the trash-tram detaches from the front with a
silent jolt, then rises-up out of the frame in a new direction.
Chief and Atari -- the occupants of that portion of the vehicle -
- look at each other, startled, before they disappear from view.
The front-section of the trash-tram stays its course (along with
the camera) as Rex, oblivious, continues his update:
REX
Get ready to jump. Atari, I’ll drag you overboard with
my teeth, since you can’t understand the plan. After
that, we’re back on foot. The next stage --
Rex finally notices the absence of the absentees. He looks all
around, puzzled and alarmed.
REX
Where’d they go?
The rear-section of the trash-tram now re-enters the frame on a
parallel course in the deep back-ground a hundred feet away. Rex
says to himself, highly agitated:
REX
What are they doing over there? How’d this happen?
What’s going on with this contraption?
King, Duke, and Boss mutter, flummoxed. Rex shouts to Chief:
REX
If we get separated (which we
are
):
rendez-vous
at the
cause-way!
Pause. Chief, tiny in the distance, shouts back:
CHIEF
You’re not our leader!
Rex looks stupefied. He hesitates. He yells:
REX
What?A profusion of criss-crossing cable-lines, mechanized
switchbacks, and automated traffic-regulators pass through the
frame, swinging, churning, and clunking. Chief, barely audible,
repeats:
CHIEF
You’re not our leader! We
all
are! Let’s take a vote!
Rex looks to the other dogs in disbelief. They shake their heads,
sympathetic. Rex, wildly exasperated, struggles to keep his
temper. He bellows:
REX
All in favor of
my
plan, which is to
rendez-vous
at the
cause-way --
Rex and the other passengers of the front-section of the trash-
tram disappear into a tunnel on the side of a massive, steel
edifice labeled: Crushing, Compacting, and Incineration. (Smoke
puffs from an exhaust, and the entire structure shudders and
rattles like a behemoth jalopy.) Chief and Atari, two specks in
the rear-section, deep in the back-ground, continue on their way.
EXT. AMUSEMENT PARK. DAY
The last vestiges of a deserted amusement-park: a wooden pier
with a penny-arcade; a parachute-drop; a Ferris-wheel; a
crumbling, once-brightly colored colossus of a
Shogun
war-lord
below a dead-neon sign which reads: Kobayashi Park. Every surface
is blanketed in bright-green (moss, mold, lichen) and encrusted
with barnacles. Atari and Chief watch from their trash-tram as
the attractions slide-by fifty feet below.
The trash-tram stops suddenly. Its underside hinges-open, and the
two passengers (along with a load of grime, slime, and gunk)
hurtle-out toward the earth.
The camera booms down a great distance to an enormous, abandoned,
overflowing, steel dumpster. A wisp of dust emanates from the top
of the rubbish. A hatch at the base of the dumpster smashes open,
and Atari and Chief burst out, staggering. They brush themselves
off. Atari looks to Chief, disoriented. Chief is stoic.
CHIEF
Let’s go.
Chief begins to lead the way. Atari lingers, reluctant, and looks
up at:A
faux
-ancient tower with a spiraling, fiberglass chute circling
around it. A sign painted on the structure reads:
Pagoda
-Slide!
Next to the boarded-up entrance there is another
Shogun
war-lord
(wooden, flat) holding up a sword labeled: You Must Be This Tall.
Atari studies the war-lord. He turns back to Chief, hopeful.
Chief shakes his head.
CHIEF
We made an emergency plan, even if we didn’t get to
vote and agree to it yet:
rendez-vous
at the cause-way
to the Far-away Cuticles, and go find your dog. Maybe
everybody else just got crushed, compacted, and
incinerated -- but
we’re
going to be there. Let’s go.
Atari hesitates. He goes over to the war-lord and measures
himself. He is slightly too short. He looks up at the
Pagoda
-
Slide again and gestures in a cork-screw motion as he softly
describes his wishes.
CHIEF
No, you can’t ride the
Pagoda
-Slide. You’re below the
safety-limit, anyway. Let’s go.
Pause. Atari takes a small step toward the
Pagoda
-Slide entrance.
Chief warns him:
CHIEF
Don’t.
Atari takes a second step. Chief warns him again:
CHIEF
Repeat: don’t. I’m not your pet. I never liked you. I
don’t care about you. I won’t wait for you. I bite.
Atari karate-kicks the door open and clanks up the steps as he
ascends the interior of the
Pagoda
-Slide. Silence.
CHIEF
Good luck.
Chief turns and walks away. Off-screen: Atari’s yelling voice
increases in volume until he zips spiralling back into view and
tumbles off the end of the slide onto the ground. He stands up,
laughing hysterically, even desperately. He takes a deep breath.
He looks left. He looks right. He shouts for Chief in Japanese.
Long pause.Atari sits down on a filthy stump. He looks left and right again.
He whistles the folk-tune. He begins to sing it quietly in
Japanese. A tear rolls down his cheek.
CUT TO:
Chief mutters to himself angrily as he walks alone through the
abandoned amusement park. He stops walking. He stares into space.
He looks back behind him.
CUT TO:
Atari singing. He pauses. He sighs. He stares down at the ground.
Off-screen, some distance away, a voice whistles faintly. Atari
looks up quickly. The whistling continues.
Atari listens keenly. Chief walks back into the frame. Atari
stands up, sniffling. He follows Chief past a wall of posted-
bills (faded wood-block prints of an old
Kabuki
play called The
Boy-Samurai), and they clack-out through a turnstile between
permanently closed ticket-booths.
EXT. WASTE-LAND. DAY
Atari and Chief sing/whistle the last verse as they make their
way across an open plain washed in contaminated waste. Atari
stops, picks up a thin section of discarded stiff-plastic hose,
and throws it like a stick. He looks to Chief. He smiles. Chief
says blankly:
CHIEF
Don’t ask me to fetch that stick.
Atari hesitates. He explains the concept in Japanese and chirps:
ATARI
Fetch-i!
Chief does not respond. Atari hesitates again. He repeats:
ATARI
Fetch-i!
CHIEF
(steely)
I’m telling you: I don’t fetch.
Atari hesitates a third time. He re-explains in explicit detail
with gestures and precise instructions. He says again, finally:ATARI
Fetch-i!
CHIEF
(long pause)
I’m not doing this because you commanded me to. I’m
doing it -- because I feel
sorry
for you. You’re
lonely, and you look terrible. You’ve probably got Dog-
Flu.
In fact: both Atari and Chief look as sick, weary, and bedraggled
as we have ever seen them. Chief walks calmly some distance over
to the piece of plastic hose, picks it up with his teeth, returns
to Atari, and drops it at his feet. Atari
kneels down. He pets
Chief’s neck. He hugs him and says in English:
ATARI
Good-boy.
Chief melts. Atari continues to stroke his fur.
INSERT:
A slim, nylon case with the discreet monogram “S.K. (Bodyguard-
Dog)”. Atari’s fingers unzip a flap and flip it open. The case
contains a miniature bar of strong flea-soap, a small tail-comb,
a little dog-brush, a set of tiny coat-clippers, and a one-ounce
bottle labeled: Aromatic Fur Tonic.
CUT TO:
A soapy Chief soaking in a dissected Hokusai Lager beer-keg
filled to the brim with foamy water while Atari (stripped-down to
a metallic Speedo) lathers his coat and rinses his snout with a
plastic ladle.
CUT TO:
Chief, silhouetted against the white sun, sitting on a crumpled
Bulk-Ramen box with his front paws in the air as Atari dries him
with a pristine rag, then grooms, trims, and scalp-massages him.
CUT TO:
Chief, clean. A radical transformation has taken place: a black
dog polka-dotted in white is now a white dog polka-dotted in
black. Chief looks down at his paws and haunches, impressed,
slightly stunned, and extremely self-conscious. Atari eye-balls
Chief with a long, hard stare. He digs into his pocket.INSERT:
A broken shaving-mirror jammed into a trash-heap. Atari holds up
his publicity wood-block-print of Spots in his dog-cage next to
the reflection of Chief in the mirror. They both study the
comparison at length. The two dogs look nearly identical.
Finally, Chief asks, uneasy:
CHIEF
Where’d you get that dog? He looks like me (with a pink
nose). I come from a nine-dog litter, but they drowned
the sisters. We’re not a rare breed: short-haired-
Oceanic-speckle-ear/sport-hound-mix. I’m getting
confused now. My belly feels funny.
Atari, intrigued, holds Chief’s face in his hands and studies his
eyes. Chief blinks. Atari opens a pouch on his trouser-leg
and
takes out a little paper sack hand-labeled: “For Spots”. Inside,
there is a single dog-treat. Atari breaks it in two and returns
one half to the sack.
ATARI
Biscuit-o.
Atari attempts to feed the second half of the dog-treat to Chief.
Chief hesitates.
CHIEF
I can’t accept that. It’s for
your
dog.
Atari insists. Chief’s eyes mist over.
CHIEF
Don’t make me start crying again. I’ve never been
offered a Puppy-Snap in my life. I don’t even know what
they taste like. OK, I’ll try it.
Chief carefully takes the half dog-treat in his teeth and
crunches it up politely. He sighs.
CHIEF
Crunchy. Salty. Supposedly, it cleans your teeth.
(deeply moved)
This
is my new favorite food.
Tears well-up in Chief’s eyes. He says quietly:
CHIEF
Thank you.Dusk. Atari struggles as he and Chief climb a winding path up a
steep, craggy incline. Spindly, thorny, leaf-less trees bristle
in the cold breeze. Chief checks the footing ahead, then circles
back quickly and follows Atari, nudging and supporting him up to
the next rise. Atari pauses and pulls on a folded paper-sheaf
sticking out of a fallen garbage-sack.
INSERT:
The front page of a recent, late-edition Daily-Manifesto.
Headline: Mayor’s Ward Fights for Dogs (A Five-Part Article by
Foreign-exchange-student Tracy Walker). Below the fold: the
infra-green Atari/sling-shot image.
Atari and Chief stare at the newspaper.
EXT. HIGH PLATEAU. NIGHT
Atari sleeps flat on his back, exhausted, with his mouth open on
top of a sheet of plywood. His pillow is a milk-carton. Chief, on
look-out, stands over him. The black owl circles
and lands nearby
on top of a safety-lamp. It hoots. Chief nods.
CHIEF
Cold up here tonight.
The black owl’s head rotates away. Chief looks down at the
sleeping boy. He whispers:
CHIEF
We’ll find him. Wherever he is (if he’s alive): we’ll
find your dog.
Chief steps away a few paces and carefully surveys the perimeter.
INSERT:
The diode-light on Atari’s earphone flickers green for an instant
with a scratch of faint, crackly static -- then goes silent/red
again. Atari startles, half-awake. He listens. He closes his eyes
again and resumes his sleep.
INT. HOST-FAMILY RESIDENCE. NIGHT
A teenage-girl’s bedroom in a high-rise apartment building. On
one wall: posters of heart-throbs, rock-bands, and horses. On the
other: a C.I.A./F.B.I.-type display of scraps, maps, snap-shots,
and other bits of assorted evidence all linked and interconnected
by criss-crossing strings and threads. Tracy stands with her armsfolded in front of her chest, studying the ephemera. She speaks
directly to the suspects.
INSERT:
A wood-block-print of Mayor Kobayashi with the military-officer,
the bespectacled-executive, the technology-tycooness, the
yakuza
-
gangster, and Major-Domo. Notes read: corporate-spy, war-
criminal, robotics-profiteer, health-code violator, paid-
assassin.
TRACY
Mayor Kobayashi, elected leader of Megasaki City. For
150 years, you and your ancestors, known as the
Kobayashi Dynasty, a procession of dog-hating thugs,
stooges, felons, and their criminal underlings, have
betrayed, deceived, and swindled the citizens of Uni
Prefecture. You make me so mad!
INSERT:
A wood-block-print of Professor Watanabe. Clippings illustrate:
his early discoveries, his appointment to the Ministry of
Science, his “suicide”.
TRACY
Professor Watanabe, Minister of Science, deceased. The
wasabi
in your blood showed poison-levels in excess of
ten times the maximum dosage required to stop the heart
of a whale. Why’d you do it?
INSERT:
Wood-block-prints of Atari: in his hospital bed, with Spots and
the mayor, firing his sling-shot.
TRACY
Atari Kobayashi, adopted ward to the mayoral-household.
You heroically hijacked a Junior Turbo-Prop XJ750 and -
-
There is a knock on the door. Tracy frowns and opens it. A bent-
over old woman in a kimono appears with a cup of warm milk on a
tray. She speaks to Tracy in raspy Japanese. Tracy takes the
drink and answers, bowing, exceedingly cheery, chirpy, and
deferential. The old woman gives her a few additional
instructions and bits of advice, then says good-night, turns off
the lights, and closes the door. Tracy returns to her collagewith a flash-light.
CUT TO:
Tracy in tight close-up. She stares with deep feeling at her
Atari-shrine on the wall.
TRACY
Atari. You heroically, as I was saying, stole the
little airplane, as you know, because of your dog, I
mean --
(hesitates)
I lost my train of thought.
Tracy sighs. She clicks off the flash-light, then shouts:
TRACY
Dammit! I’ve got a crush on you.
EXT. CAUSE-WAY. DAY
A narrow, rickety, steel-frame foot-bridge a half-mile long over
a vast, shallow marsh littered with refuse. Chief and Atari stand
waiting in front of a chained-shut steel gate in between the
bridge-entrance and the foot of a towering trash-cliff. (Heard
but not yet seen: rushing water rumbles through a nearby
channel.)
A sign above the bridge-entrance creaks as it swings slightly on
rusted hooks. It reads:
Cause-Way
To the Far-away Cuticles
The camera booms down to an old, filthy, dented metallic door-
frame which resembles an airport-security screening-unit and is
labeled: Check-Point/Scanning. An electrical-wire at the base
zaps periodically, short-circuiting.
INSERTS:
A sea-newt crawling on a piece of decomposing Styrofoam. A
cluster of mosquitoes buzzing around a sludge-filled plastic
baggie. A tiny, oily, black mud-frog which croaks and ribbits.
Atari whistles the folk-tune. Chief hums along. Atari absently
scratches behind Chief’s ears. Chief looks around uncertainly.
Atari jams his hands into his pockets. Silence.
A faint clank echoes. Atari and Chief both turn suddenly to looktoward the trash-cliff above/behind them. A grinding hum
reverberating out of a tunnel-exit near the top of the high ridge
grows louder and louder. Chief and Atari stare intently. Finally:
a rattling trash-tram bursts-out into view and passes steadily
overhead. Rex, King, Duke, and Boss -- severely singed, partially
shorn, slightly mangled, coats puffing with smoke and dust --
peer wearily and warily over the rim of the rattling vehicle.
Chief and Atari brighten. Chief yells:
CHIEF
Rex! King! Duke! Boss! You made it!
The battered tram-passengers look down at Chief and Atari. Chief
and Atari walk apace below the moving trash-tram as they continue
their conversation. Rex frowns. He barks:
REX
What happened to
you
?
CHIEF
(hesitates)
I took a bath.
REX
(pause)
He’s got soap?
CHIEF
(sheepish)
A little.
Chief and Atari slip under and over the steel gate and cross onto
the footbridge. Rex says, judgemental:
REX
You’re too fluffy.
CHIEF
(guilty/proud)
We played fetch.
REX
(in disbelief)
And you brought it back to him?
Chief shrugs. He nods. Rex clarifies:
REXWith a stick?
CHIEF
(specifically)
With a hunk of rubber radiator-tubing.
(warmly)
He’s a good boy.
REX
(frustrated)
Don’t tell me that! I’m the one that tried to make you
be loyal to him, in the first place. You’re
disobedient! You hate masters! You’re a stray!
As Chief and Atari hurry, distracted, through the decrepit
screening-unit, it beeps.
INSERT:
A small control-board with a miniature monitor-display attached
to the side of the security door-frame. Text on a panel reads:
Advanced Tooth-and-Tail Recognition Software. It blinks on.
Images of Atari and Chief with accompanying descriptive data
flicker across the screen for a brief moment before the entire
system fritzes with a jolt and powers-off.
Chief and Atari continue below and parallel to the trash-tram as
it proceeds above the bridge. Up ahead, in the middle of the
foot-bridge, at the center of the expansive marsh, there is a
confusing aerial-junction where the tram-cable splits into
multiple directions. Chief yells:
CHIEF
Stop! This is the
rendez
-
vous
. Where’s that trash-tram
taking you?
REX
(angry)
How should
we
know? You think we booked this ride
through a travel agent? We were fighting for our lives
in a high-velocity trash-processor while you were
getting scrubbed and brushed. We’re traumatized!
Chief looks to Atari. Atari shouts up at the trash-tram sharply
in Japanese. Chief nods and translates:
CHIEF
Jump!REX
(puzzled)
Where?
CHIEF
(forcefully)
Here!
REX
(anxious)
When?
CHIEF
(urgently)
Now!
REX
(baffled)
Why?
CHIEF
(utterly beside himself)
What
?
REX
(furious)
Let’s take a vote. All in favor --
The trash-tram slams to a halt at the junction with a powerful,
echoing bang.
INSERTS:
The sea-newt wiggles away. The mosquitoes disappear. The frog
hops off and sinks into the bubbling marsh.
Chief and Atari now stand at the edge of a wide gap before an
open section of the center of the cause-way (retracted like a
sliding draw-bridge). A cement drain-channel runs perpendicular
across the marsh fifteen-feet below the gap. Violently churning
rapids whoosh through it.
Chief and Atari, open-mouthed, gawk up at Rex, King, Duke, and
Boss hanging over the chasm above the gap in the foot-bridge. The
trash-tram squeaks, swaying on its cable. Rex squints. He says
eerily:
REX
Who’s that?Chief and Atari turn around suddenly to look back behind them at
the trash-cliff. Ten dog silhouettes are watching them,
immobile,
spread-out across the top of the high-ridge. Chief sniffs the air
and says curiously:
CHIEF
I can’t smell them.
CUT TO:
The security-device images of Atari and Chief now on a large
screen at the M.T.F. Dog-Catchers Division control-tower. An
alert blinks in red below the duo: Positive-Match. Technicians
criss-cross excitedly around the room, chattering on radio-
receivers and rapidly punching-in further instructions.
On the Plexiglas table-top map of Trash Island: surrounding
sectors go dark, high-lighting the cause-way zone and pinpointing
Atari and the Hero Pack’s immediate location. A group of
technicians slurp noodles quickly and messily. One of them yells
in Japanese on a red telephone.
CUT TO:
Dusk, the cause-way. A roaring rescue-drone descends out of the
sky toward Rex, King, Boss, and Duke, who cower in the stalled
trash-tram. Atari and Chief look-up at them from the foot-bridge.
In the marsh below, two amphibious, six-wheeled landing-craft
approach from either side of the cause-way. Atari and Chief hear
a loud crashing noise and whirl-around to see:
The metal gate at the Security/Check-Point collapsing flat as the
platoon of robot-dogs advances in formation onto the bridge.
Atari and Chief glare, furious.
The trash-tram’s bomb-bay doors begin to grind open -- then stop
suddenly. The rotary mechanism repeats this unsuccessful action
over and over like a broken record. Rex, King, Boss, and Duke,
alarmed, restlessly squirm and wriggle. A warning lamp on the
side of the trash-tram activates. It reads: Jam. There is a
sudden bang and a large puff of black smoke. A small fire starts
on the underside of the vehicle.
A rattling basket-seat lowers by chain from the hovering rescue-
drone carrying a dog-catcher with an extra-long, radio-active
cattle-prod. Atari’s earphone crackles with static:
SPOTS (O.S.)Master -- Master -- Atari!
Atari’s eyes light-up. He chatters in Japanese, darting looks in
every direction. The diode-light on his earphone flickers back
from red to green to red. Atari shouts with his finger on his
earphone:
ATARI
Spots-u? Spots-u? Spots-u?
CUT TO:
The far opposite end of the foot-bridge: two white dog-legs jolt
into the foreground on top of a pile of rubble. Atari and Chief
stare at the distant-dog in silhouette against a white mist,
beyond the gap, a hundred meters away. Chief sniffs the air and
says quietly:
CHIEF
That dog’s real.
As the mist lifts and thins: another thirty dogs are faintly
revealed behind the first one. Atari and Chief squint and blink,
unsure of what they are seeing.
CUT TO:
A long-lens shot of the distant-dog (with the company at his
flanks): he continues his approach at a full-speed sprint.
TITLE:
Part Three:
“The Secret Tooth”
(5 Months and 3 Weeks Earlier)
EXT. JUNK-YARD. DAY
Spots’ battered dog-cage, exactly where it originally fell. Spots
remains trapped inside. Several other dogs -- though themselves
free to roam -- loiter, chatting with the imprisoned animal. (A
number of other dog-cages, all empty, with open cage-doors,
litter the area.)
OTHER DOG #1
What’s that thing in your ear for? Are you hard of
hearing?
SPOTS
You can’t be. Bodyguard-dogs have to have 20/30-Auditory just to be certified. No, the ear-piece is how
I receive my commands and instructions and so on.
Obviously, I’m privy to certain sensitive information
due to my position in the mayoral-household at Brick
Mansion.
OTHER DOG #1
(hesitates)
You mean, is somebody talking to you right now?
SPOTS
(hesitates)
Well, the range is only about 75 feet or so, I guess,
so I haven’t heard anything in some time. The battery’s
probably dead, anyway.
OTHER DOG #2
(smart-aleck)
Why you still keep it in your ear, then?
SPOTS
(shrugs)
I can’t reach it.
OTHER DOG #3
(wise-acre)
How much money you think the mayor makes?
SPOTS
I can’t tell you that. That’s highly confidential.
Anyway, I’m not the mayor’s
accountant’s
dog. That’s
Butterscotch, and she got crushed in a glass compactor
the day before yesterday. No, my duties focus entirely
on the protection of the mayor’s ward, Atari. I’m not
supposed to be his friend, but I love him very much,
but that’s a private matter. The only reason I even
mention it is because we’re all going to die out here,
and I’ll never get to see him again.
Spots bows his head, devastated, and tries to hold-in several
loud sobs. The other dogs look at each other, depressed,
sympathetic, slightly embarrassed.
OTHER DOG #1
That’s a tough break. Well, good luck to you. Watch out
for the cannibal-dogs.
The other dogs begin to wander away. Spots hesitates. He sayssharply:
SPOTS
Hm?
Other Dog #1 pauses and looks back to Spots. He repeats:
OTHER DOG #1
Hm?
Spots stares. He squints and leans forward.
SPOTS
What?
Other Dog #1 cocks his head. He echoes Spots’:
OTHER DOG #1
What?
Spots frowns. He says slowly:
SPOTS
Watch out for the --
Other Dog #1 nods. He follows suit:
OTHER DOG #1
-- cannibal-dogs? Dogs that eat dogs.
SPOTS
Start over and repeat again.
OTHER DOG #1
(dismissive)
You know what? Don’t even worry about that. I just
heard there might be some wild, aboriginal cannibal-
dogs in the area, you know -- but you’re trapped in a
cage with an extra-security lock on it. You’re probably
safer than anybody. Except from thirst and starvation.
Other Dog #1 lingers for a beat, then makes his exit. Spots sits,
silent and perturbed.
CUT TO:
Midnight. Spots, sleeping curled on the floor of his dog-cage,
snaps one eye open.
A huge, albeit half-starved, wolf-dog sits directly in front ofhim, staring coolly. Half the wolf-dog’s head has been shaved
clean. He has stitches and scars all along the bald side. He has
a hospital-band around his neck and a plastic clip on his ear. A
stencilled tag on his collar reads: Gondo.
Spots slowly sits up.
Six more dogs descend from four different directions at once and
join the wolf-dog. They are all covered with scars and stitches,
patches and splints. They circle Spots’ cage. Silence. Spots says
quietly:
SPOTS
It’s got an extra-security-lock on it. You’ll never get
it open.
INSERT:
The door-latching system. Embossed on the casing of the
mechanism: Kobayashi Lock and Bolt/Japan. A red sticker below
reads: Guaranteed Pick-Proof.
MONTAGE:
The seven strangers carry the caged-Spots in the moon-light
across the landscape in the manner of either a slain-deer on a
spit or, perhaps, a royal litter. They cross the Middle Fingers:
the shell-pocked tide-pool, the high-rail track past the ore and
gravel mounds, the skinny path past the tower-silos, the rim of
the crater past the ash-dusted foundry, the abandoned golf-
course.
EXT. TESTING FACILITY. DAY
The off-shore structure described earlier by Jupiter: Kobayashi
Animal-Testing Laboratory (Canine Division).
INSIDE:
The subterranean remains of the shell of a former research-
laboratory. Cement walls. Bathroom-tile floors. Glass-less
window-frames. In the back-ground: a bank of corroded turbines
spin, crooked and creaky, under an on-going deluge delivered by a
battery of pipes straight from the open sea. Spots, still in his
dog-cage, looks out at a community of thirty scarred, stitched,
patched, splinted, hospital-banded, unfamiliar dogs of various
breeds and shapes. The huge wolf-dog, Gondo, sits at the center
of the watching group. Long pause.SPOTS
Are you going to eat me now?
GONDO
(frowns)
What’d you say?
SPOTS
(icy)
Are you going to eat me now? I heard you were cannibal-
dogs. Be notified: I’ll be compelled to defend myself
with all means at my disposal.
Spots grits his teeth. The camera pushes in toward his mouth.
INSERT:
One of Spots’ teeth. On very close inspection, it appears to be
strangely rifled with winding spiral grooves and labeled with
tiny Japanese text.
Gondo laughs to himself, angry and deeply hurt. He shakes his
head. His companions roll their eyes, grumbling. Gondo growls:
GONDO
Who told you that dirty lie? We resorted to cannibalism
on one occasion, many months ago, as a desperate
survival instinct. We ate one single dog. His name was
Fuzzball, and he was our pack-leader, and he was
already in a coma from starvation, so we put him out
his misery and --
(his voice cracks)
-- consumed him. We would’ve dropped dead in a week or
less without that nourishment. We were
dying
. Do you
judge us for that? Shame on you! We only brought you
here in the first place to
help
you. We’ve got a Master
Pass-Key!
Gondo motions to a wall lined with empty, pick-proof dog-cages
stacked six-high and thirty-wide. A wizened, old dog with a
prosthetic-leg limps toward Spots with a small, orange locker-key
in his teeth. He pulls a safety-catch before unlocking the bolt.
The door pops ajar. The entire company of dogs, disgusted, then
wanders away in different directions, returning to the chores and
tasks of their survival.
Spots, alone, noses open the door and emerges from his dog-cage.
He looks sheepish. An off-screen voice echoes:PEPPERMINT (V.O.)
Fuzzball was his best friend.
Spots looks up to a landing at the top of a steep, metal
staircase. A willowy, silver-haired racing-hound with toothpick
legs stares down at him through beautiful, blood-shot eyes. She
is Peppermint (as stated on her hospital-band collar). Spots
clears his throat.
SPOTS
Oh, dear. I think I offended him. I had no idea.
Peppermint descends toward Spots. As she comes close to him and
sits, Spots sees that her head and neck are implanted with
tarnished electrodes and tattooed with faded surgical markings.
The ends of a few copper-wires, still attached to her skin, fray
from their tiny sockets. Spots studies her condition and asks
gently:
SPOTS
What
is
this place? How long’ve you been here? I can
see you’ve been mistreated.
Peppermint starts to answer but cannot quite find the words.
Tears stream down her cheeks. Spots immediately licks them away.
SPOTS
My name is Spots. Spots Kobayashi. How can I be of
service to you?
CUT TO:
A wide, wide, high-angle shot of Spots and Peppermint: two tiny,
seated figures facing each other on the floor of the cavernous
testing-facility.
RETURN TO:
The cause-way, present-minute, night. White-hot prison-lamps
illuminate the foot-bridge, and spot-lights scan and circle from
the rescue-drone above and the landing-craft below. Rex, King,
Duke, and Boss spit and blow on the increasing fire up in the
dangling trash-tram.
On the bridge: the robot-dogs surround Atari and Chief, preparing
to pounce. Dog-catchers riding the mechanical ladders ascend into
view, shining powerful flash-lights and wielding electronic
billy-clubs. The dog-catcher in the basket-seat comes to a stop
with a clanging jolt and blasts-down his own beam.Chief and Atari balance on a little ledge, a square of crenelated
cement jutting out over the gap in the foot-bridge over the
rapid-flow cement-channel that cuts through the marsh below.
Atari sling-shots a lug-nut at the dog-catcher in the basket-
seat. His flash-light explodes.
CUT TO:
Another new angle: the camera is strapped to the back of the
sprinting distant-dog as he approaches the gap. A diode-light on
his earphone flickers green/red. (Obviously, he is Spots.) He
shouts:
SPOTS
Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me,
Master Atari?
INSERT:
Atari’s diode-light: green.
CUT TO:
Atari’s eyes. They light up. He shouts again:
ATARI
Spots-u?
The camera races at top-speed with the running Spots with his
thirty followers (the aboriginal dogs) behind him. He yells as he
approaches the gap:
SPOTS
You’re not safe here! You shouldn’t have come for me! I
can’t protect you efficiently under these conditions!
CUT TO:
The front-and-center robot-dog: retracted bayonets emerge, normal
canine-teeth switch to long blades, fighting-screens close over
glowing eye-balls. It roars.
INT. CONTROL-TOWER. DAY
A pair of elevator doors slide open, and Mayor Kobayashi and
Major-Domo stride into the mission-control room. Voices fall
silent. The mayor and his aide watch the live-feed intently as it
displays: the robot-dog’s infra-green P.O.V. of Atari and Chief
on the ledge of the foot-bridge. The mayor squints and leanstoward the screen. The image zooms-in on a second live-feed: of
Spots rapidly approaching from the other direction. Major-Domo
mutters, uncertain but surprised:
MAJOR-DOMO
Spots-u!
CUT TO:
Atari and Chief. Spots’ voice, loud and clear, blasts from
Atari’s earphone:
SPOTS (O.S.)
Here I come.
Atari and Chief spin around to look behind them. Spots sails
through the air spectacularly across the gap and into the camera.
Atari and Chief watch, wide-eyed, as Spots flies cleanly between
them and lands skidding at the center of the ambush.
Spots immediately digs his tongue around inside his mouth,
straining the muscles of his jaw.
INSERT:
Spots extends a tooth out on the tip of his tongue, then spits it
like a pellet-gun.
The tooth pegs into the front-and-center robot-dog and explodes
with surprising force and violence (given its extreme
littleness), instantly killing the foe. The dog-catchers on their
shaking ladders shield their eyes and duck from flying shrapnel.
One falls off into the marsh. Spots shouts furiously:
SPOTS
Sic-’em!
On cue: the thirty aboriginal dogs sail through the air over the
gap and flood onto Chief and Atari’s side of the bridge,
immediately swirling around the remaining robot-dogs, snapping
and growling, dodging and jumping, total chaos. Spots nods a curt
hello to Chief, then shouts to Atari:
SPOTS
Follow me!
First: Atari sling-shots one of the remaining robot-dogs, popping
out an eye-ball light-bulb. Next: Spots and Chief flank Atari on
the edge of the ledge, and all three look down past the camerainto the gap. Atari steels himself and grabs hold of both dogs’
collars. Third: Atari, Chief, and Spots leap together into the
rushing water-channel. They are instantly whisked away down-
stream. Finally: the thirty aboriginal dogs dive-in after them,
leaving the confused robot-dogs alone on the bridge. One of them
(now blind in one eye) staggers to the edge of the gap.
The rescue-drone bobbles crookedly above in the sky, flashing its
spot-light down on: Rex, King, Duke, and Boss, open-mouthed,
huddled in the corner of the trash-tram, now almost entirely
consumed in flames. Rex shouts:
REX
All in favor of kicking Chief out of the pack and never
speaking to him again, say “Aye”!
The bomb-bay doors open suddenly, and the four dogs fall (with
burning trash), screaming in terror, into the canal below.
EXT. CEMENT CONDUIT. NIGHT
As Atari, Chief, and Spots course down the rumbling man-made
water-way, halogen spot-bulbs periodically shoot-by along the
upper-lip of the water-channel and submarine flood-lamps strobe
and glow, intermittent, below. Chief and Spots keep Atari afloat,
splashing and paddling, as they shout their conversation:
CHIEF
How’d you do that?
SPOTS
Secret tooth! Military issue! Technically, I could do
it thirty-seven more times, but I wouldn’t be able to
chew my meat!
CHIEF
I assume you’re Spots! We’ve been looking for you.
Spots looks to Atari. Atari, highly emotional, speaks to his
bodyguard-dog in Japanese. Spots responds with deep feeling as
they zip along:
SPOTS
Master Atari-san, I swore an oath when I assumed the
responsibilities of official bodyguard-dog to the
mayoral-household! I could never be persuaded to break
that vow for any reason whatsoever! I’ll always be
loyal to you as my only and unconditional master! Butcircumstances have radically changed for me and all the
pets of Megasaki City! I have new obligations which I
never anticipated! I’ve become the leader of a tribe of
outcasts who depend on me for their survival -- and I’m
going to be a father! With deepest sadness and
humility: I must ask you to relieve me of the duties of
my position, effective immediately!
Atari frowns with tears in eyes. Chief growls:
CHIEF
You son of a bitch. If we don’t drown, I’m going to
strangle you myself. I don’t care how many exploding
teeth you try to spit-out at me. Do you have any idea
what the little pilot just went through to try to
rescue you? He’s still got part of a broken propellor-
clutch sticking out of the side of his head! How
dare
you?
SPOTS
(long pause)
You’re a stray.
CHIEF
So what?
SPOTS
What’s your name?
CHIEF
Who cares?
SPOTS
You’re from Central Megasaki. I can tell by the accent.
You’re a short-haired-Oceanic-speckle-ear/sport-hound-
mix. You were born in a storm-sewer on Bamboo-shoot
Holiday six years ago today. Do you know me?
Chief swallows, disconcerted. Spots says quietly:
SPOTS
I’m your older brother by five minutes. It’s been a
long time, Chief.
CHIEF
(voice cracking)
Was I the runt?
SPOTS(respectfully)
Not anymore.
The cement channel comes to a sudden end and launches the three
of them over a low waterfall which cascades directly into a
churning whirlpool. They are instantly sucked underwater, gasping
and flailing, and disappear from view. A bleached and faded
warning stenciled on the cinder-block wall above the water-line
reads: Test-Lab Storm-Duct.
INT. SOUND-STAGE. NIGHT
Per usual
, the reporter reports/the interpreter interprets:
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
Security-camera footage confirms initial reports of the
deaths of mayoral-ward Atari Kobayashi and his five
dog-abductors this afternoon in a sluice-channel at the
threshold of the Far-away Cuticles. A statement from
Major-Domo, live at Brick Mansion:
INSERT:
A television monitor in the studio. Major-Domo, in close-up on
the steps of the mayoral residence, announces:
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
The life of a promising young orphan has been cut short
before its prime. This is a distant-uncle’s worst
nightmare. Mayor Kobayashi asks for your prayers, your
condolences -- and your support for the diligent men
and women of the Municipal Task Force Dog-Catchers
Division: we salute you for your bravery and your
ongoing commitment to the continuing punishment of all
bad-dogs.
INT. TESTING FACILITY. NIGHT
The off-shore research-laboratory. A little phalanx of aboriginal
dogs follow Spots as he leads Atari and the Hero Pack (all still
wet from the storm-duct) on a tour past: the wall of dog-cages;
an operating room in disarray behind a broken window; and rows of
plastic pillories dangling with
crumbling rubber tubes. The other
dogs rest in nooks and nests in the background.
SPOTS
Originally (before the volcano erupted and an
earthquake triggered the tsunami which obliterated thefacility), there were over 250 incarcerated animals
here on the premises being experimented on against
their will. If you look closely, you may notice some of
these dogs still bear scars and markings from the
research and abuse. Actually, it’s pretty obvious.
A dog staring out to sea through a door-less doorway turns to
face them. Along with the typical scars and stitches, it has: an
eye-patch, dentures, and a trumpet-like artificial left ear. Up
on the mezzanine, Peppermint lifts her head, sleepy. Spots smiles
at her, affectionate but worried.
SPOTS
This is my mate, Peppermint. She’s pregnant with our
first litter.
Spots whispers into Peppermint’s ear. She smiles wanly and nods
to the new-comers. Spots says, aside, as they continue toward the
center of the facility:
SPOTS
She was due a week ago.
(resuming the tour)
Anyway, the survivors of the disaster learned to
cultivate --
Spots stops short and gasps slightly. Atari has taken-out the
remaining half of the “For Spots” dog-treat. The entire community
of dogs stares at it, transfixed. He carefully breaks it into
numerous tiny fragments. As he feeds the gathered animals, dog-
by-dog, he recites, priest-like:
ATARI
Biscuit-o. Biscuit-o. Biscuit-o.
Spots’ lip quivers. His voice cracks as he says to Chief:
SPOTS
Puppy-Snaps. I hear they don’t even make them anymore.
Chief nods sadly. Large text painted across the wall reads:
Kobayashi Animal-Testing Laboratory (Canine Division). Below it:
A Subsidiary of Kobayashi Pharmaceutical. Duke says
confidentially to Rex, King, and Boss:
DUKE
You heard the rumor, right? About Kobayashi
Pharmaceutical.Rex, King, and Boss mumble and mutter simultaneously again.
(”What rumor?” “I never heard it.” “Kobayashi Pharmaceutical?”
Etc.) Duke says shockingly:
DUKE
They
invented
Dog-Flu.
Rex, King, and Boss, horrified at the possibility of such
insidiousness, are briefly speechless. Finally, Boss asks:
BOSS
Where do you
get
all these rumors? I mean, who tells
them to you?
DUKE
(shrugs)
Anybody. Dogs talk, and I listen. Always have. I love
gossip.
A loud commotion across the building attracts everyone’s
attention. Gondo approaches quickly and announces:
GONDO
Spots! The black owl has a message.
CUT TO:
The black owl perched on the railing of a balcony above the
entrance to the facility. It breathes heavily. Atari, Chief,
Spots, Rex, King, Duke, Boss, and Gondo circle around it. They
listen acutely as the bird hoots to the assembled dogs. Spots
translates:
SPOTS
He’s come from all the way across the island.
(to a nearby teenaged-dog)
Get him a cup of sewer-water, Chico.
The black owl hoots some more. Spots nods.
SPOTS
We understand.
(to the Hero Pack)
He has news from the Metropolitan Dumping-Grounds.
The other dogs murmur, worried and intrigued. Spots says sharply:
SPOTS
Quiet, please!(back to the black owl)
We’re listening, owl. Tell us your message.
FLASH-BACK:
Jupiter, now-incarcerated in the dog-prison-camp, speaks through
a chain-link fence with Oracle, Nutmeg, and hundreds of other
Trash Island dogs crowded behind him. Powerful prison-beams cast
zig-zag shadows against the stormy night-sky. White-neon up-
lights eyes and snouts. The black owl listens from an iron post.
JUPITER
He’s going to poison us. Re-Election Night: at the moment Mayor
Kobayashi is re-inaugurated, he’ll give the order, and the
extermination-process will begin. (Oracle saw the plan in her
visions.)
FLASH-BACK WITHIN FLASH-BACK:
A portable, black-and-white television set branded Visions
Electronics Closed-Circuit 14” sits on a folding table in the
metal control-shed at the dog-camp. A crew of dog-catchers watch
as, on-screen, Mayor Kobayashi campaigns:
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
If the voters choose me again, on Re-Election Night, I
promise: a final and permanent end to the Canine
Saturation-crisis.
Oracle, horrified, stares-in from the window of the shed. She
looks behind her, around the dog-prison-camp, where more dog-
catchers hammer and tinker as they install pipes and sprinkler-
jets around the perimeter of the camp -- all connected to a
similar but enormously large tank labeled:
wasabi
-gas.
JUPITER (V.O.)
Every pet in the Trash Island Camp will die. It may be
too late, already; but, if the black owl reaches you
with this message in time:
CUT TO:
Jupiter and the black owl at the wire-mesh fence. Jupiter
concludes quietly:
JUPITER
Go to Megasaki City. Find our masters. Appeal to the
people. Stop the mayor.(pleading)
Save us.
RETURN TO:
The present. Dawn. The black owl leans down and drinks from a
sardine-tin of murky water. Atari, Chief, and Spots look out
across the river at Megasaki City. Atari speaks with fierce
determination (in Japanese). Spots interprets, announcing to the
group-at-large:
SPOTS
We’ll cross the river tonight. Begin preparations
immediately.
Dogs everywhere burst into sudden, anxious activity. Chief goes
back to the black owl. He says, pained but defiant:
CHIEF
You’ll meet a bitch named Nutmeg. Tell her Chief says:
I’ll see you in Megasaki.
The black owl hoots, stretches its wings, and floats up into the
air.
INSERT:
A wood-block-print of Atari wreathed in flower petals. Captions
above and below read:
Megasaki Senior High Drama Club
Performance Tonight!
In Memory of Atari Kobayashi,
Deceased Ward to the Mayoral-Household,
R.I.P.
INT. MEGASAKI SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL. DAY
A theatre auditorium. On-stage: a student
Kabuki
troupe in
elaborate make-up and costumes, a choir composed of three young
sumo
wrestler bass-singers and an old music-teacher tenor, the
three shirtless barrel-drummers, and a junior-high boy-performer
dressed as a medieval warrior. A wood-block-printed back-drop
portrays a sea of angry stray-dogs. The actors dance and mime as
the choir sings and whistles in Japanese.
MONTAGE:
Atari draws a highly complicated sea-vessel blue-print in thesand with a chopstick. Spots and the Hero Pack then work with him
roping, stitching, folding, and molding a construction out of
discarded detergent bottles, patched-up inner-tubes, plastic
recycling-crates, and scraps of cardboard, vinyl, and linoleum.
The result: a reasonably well-formed, make-shift raft with a
small, lean-to cabin on-deck. (Other dogs work on smaller rafts
in the back-ground.)
CUT TO:
The stage, mid-performance. The junior-high warrior poses
flamboyantly as he swings a samurai sword with precise,
impossibly quick movements. As he assaults an actor playing an
evil samurai, the evil samurai is revealed to be two actors (one
wearing a black body-suit with his painted face exposed, one
wearing a black hood over his face with his body in full-costume
exposed) who separate with a flourish as the boy “beheads” him.
CUT TO:
A night-crossing on the newly built raft. Spots, on watch, rides
at the prow of the ship like Washington Crossing the Delaware.
Chief steers from the rear with a snow-shovel tiller. Rex, King,
and Duke ride inside the lean-to cabin with Peppermint. Boss
sleeps outside. On the roof of the cabin: Atari lies on his
stomach writing briskly with a quill on a roll of paper-towels by
the light of his torch-light. An armada of smaller rafts follows
in the wake of the large one. Passengers: the rest of the
community of aboriginal dogs.
GRAPHIC:
The wood-block-print sea-chart of the Sapporo River (seen earlier
during Spots’ deportation) which maps a course back from Trash
Island across to Megasaki City. (A barrel-drum-solo interlude
plays over this image.)
CUT TO:
The end of the performance. The cast and choir take their bows.
In the audience: freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors watch
and listen. Tracy sits with Editor-Hiroshi and the Daily-
Manifesto staff. Her face is covered with bitter tears.
EXT. FLAG-SHIP RAFT. NIGHT
Atari has taken the tiller and stands at the stern of the vessel
next to Chief. Spots emerges from inside. He says gravely toChief:
SPOTS
Peppermint’s in labor.
Chief looks concerned. Spots sits-down in front of Atari. His
posture is formal and erect. He says to Chief, reluctant but
determined, with a lump in his throat:
SPOTS
Come sit beside me.
Chief hesitates. He looks to Atari. He sits down next to Spots.
Tears well-up in Spots’ eyes. Atari crouches in front of him and
Chief. He puts one hand on each dog’s head.
SPOTS
Master Atari, are you willing to accept my brother
Chief as new bodyguard-dog in personal service to
you,
former ward to the mayoral-household?
Atari smiles sadly. He nods and says a few brief words in
Japanese. Spots turns to Chief.
SPOTS
Chief, are you willing to accept Atari as your direct
master, to serve and protect his safety and welfare
with all courage, loyalty, and friendship?
Chief nods, as well. He says quietly:
CHIEF
I can do that.
Spots nods to Atari and lowers his head. Atari gently removes the
earphone from Spots’ ear and installs it into Chief’s. Chief and
Atari stand beside him as he takes the tiller again and begins to
sing the folk-tune in Japanese. The dogs whistle the harmony.
CUT TO:
The interior of the lean-to cabin. Peppermint has given birth to
six puppies. Spots nuzzles her neck. Rex, King, Duke, and Boss
crowd around, mesmerized. Atari, on his knees, picks up one of
the new-born dogs and looks into its eyes. The carefully folded
paper-towel document sticks out from his breast pocket. Chief is
now at the tiller, solitary, still whistling -- in unison with
all the other dogs on every raft in their little armada. Up
ahead, the lights of Megasaki sparkle in the misty darkness.INT. SAKE-BAR. NIGHT
An intimate, ten-seat saloon decorated in the style of a
scientific laboratory. White walls, glass counter, fluorescent
lights, a sign which reads: Laboratory Bar. A bartender in a lab-
kimono stands propped in the foreground flipping through a back-
issue of a science journal with a picture of Neptune on its
cover.
Yoko-ono (in her own, disheveled lab-kimono) sits slumped over
the bar at the far end of the narrow room surrounded by fourteen
empty miniature sake bottles. Her hair is a rat’s nest. Her make-
up is smudged and runny. Her eye-lids are half-shut. Her hand
trembles as she throws-back the contents of a lotus-flower shot-
glass and slaps it down on the bar. She grunts to the bartender.
Without looking up from his magazine, he absently slides down a
small tray containing another miniature sake-bottle and a bowl of
rice crackers.
Yoko-ono flips-out the crackers over her shoulder and empties the
bottle into her glass. The front door opens and closes, a
shuttering of street-light. The bartender looks up.
Low-angle: Tracy, back-lit in the door-frame. She glares down the
room at Yoko-ono. Yoko-ono drinks, oblivious. Tracy says coolly
to the bartender:
TRACY
Chocolate milk, cold.
Tracy advances to the end of the bar and sits down next to Yoko-
ono. She introduces herself:
TRACY
Tracy Walker, Megasaki Senior High Daily-Manifesto. Are
you Professor Watanabe’s former Assistant-Scientist,
Yoko-ono-san?
Yoko-ono shrugs, oblivious. Tracy takes a note-book out of her
satchel and opens it on the counter-top. A glass of chocolate
milks slides over to her. She drinks it in one gulp and signals
for another. She plants her note-book in front of Yoko-ono and
asks:
TRACY
Do I have it?
Yoko-ono, irritated, scans the note-book. She flips a page. Sheshakes her head and mutters in Japanese then English:
YOKO-ONO
Too late.
Yoko-ono shoves the note-book back to Tracy. A second glass of
chocolate milk slides into place. Tracy only takes a small sip.
She slides the note-book back to Yoko-ono and says more firmly:
TRACY
Do I
have
it?
Yoko-ono squints at the note-book again. She shakes her head. She
repeats:
YOKO-ONO
Too late. Nobody cares.
As Yoko-ono begins to shove the note-book back to Tracy once
again, Tracy throws the contents of her chocolate milk-glass into
Yoko-ono’s face, slings all the empty miniature sake-bottles off
the counter (sending them shattering to the floor), and slaps
Yoko-ono briskly twice, forehand and backhand, across the face.
She shouts:
TRACY
Do I
have
it? Do I have the story? Yes or no? On the
record! I’m sorry for your loss, but we both know: that
was no suicide!
(furious)
I need to prove my conspiracy-theory!
Pause. Yoko-ono breaks-down into hysterical sobbing and wailing.
Tracy grabs her shoulders and shakes her forcefully.
TRACY
Pull yourself together and act like a scientist!
YOKO-ONO
(stammering)
Ben is dead. No future on Trash Island. I am --
failure.
TRACY
(grimly)
Professor Watanabe never gave up.
Yoko-ono takes a deep breath. She wipes her eyes. She signals to
the bartender. The bartender nods.INSERT:
A small refrigerator behind the counter filled entirely with neat
rows of miniature sake-bottles. The bartender reaches to the back
and withdraws a small, corked, hidden, blue serum-vial.
The serum-vial slides down to Tracy and Yoko-ono. A label on it
reads: Not for Human Consumption (Dogs Only). Tracy stares at the
little glass bottle. She asks, on the edge of her seat:
TRACY
Is this the serum? The Dog-Flu cure? The Snout-Fever
treatment? The end of the Canine Saturation-crisis?
YOKO-ONO
(whispers)
Last dose.
Tracy snatches up the serum-vial, grabs her satchel and note-
book, and rushes toward the door. Yoko-ono shouts after her:
YOKO-ONO
Tracy: be careful!
But the girl is already out on the street.
TITLE:
Part Four:
“Atari’s Lantern”
INSERT:
A wood-block-print propaganda portrait of Mayor Kobayashi papered
to a brick wall. Its text reads:
Re-Election Night!
6pm
Municipal Dome
A pair of hands throws a card-board stencil over the poster,
shakes a clackling spray-paint can, hisses red pigment, and
whisks away the stencil to reveal:
ATARI LIVES!
CUT TO:
The entire length of the block plastered with the Re-ElectionNight posted-bills five-high, half of them already defaced with
the stencil. A student-protestor wearing a Pro-Dog headband and
an Atari T-shirt stands at the top of a ladder continuing his
methodical vandalism.
EXT. MUNICIPAL DOME. NIGHT
The steps of the massive, stone edifice swarm with student-
protestors: Atari T-shirts, Pro-Dog headbands, picket-signs with
dog-names/pictures. Tracy, on the top step with a megaphone,
shouts to her comrades, call-and-response-style:
TRACY
Not-fair!
STUDENT-PROTESTORS
To-dog!
TRACY
Not-fair!
STUDENT-PROTESTORS
To-dog!
INT. MUNICIPAL DOME. NIGHT
The central rotunda, a full house. Mayor Kobayashi is on-stage,
mid-speech, flanked by: the military-officer, the bespectacled-
executive, the technology-tycooness, the
yakuza
-gangster, and
Major-Domo. Their pet cats purr and preen behind them. The
interpreter translates the mayor’s address:
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
The time has come to put the violent, intimidating,
unsanitary bad-dogs of Trash Island humanely to sleep.
For their own good; and, also:
ours
.
(to the military-officer)
General Yamatachi? Bring out the replacement-pet.
The military-officer presses a button on a silver remote-control,
and a robotic lap-dog emerges from back-stage. It strikes several
poses as the audience oohs and aahs. The mayor points at it and
shouts:
MAYOR KOBAYASHI
Sit-o!
The robotic lap-dog sits. Mayor Kobayashi looks to the crowd and
raises his hands into the air, victorious. The room goes wild. Inher glass booth, the interpreter says excitedly:
INTERPRETER
The results are in! Stand by for the incoming Re-
Election Night tally!
INSERT:
The viewing-screen above the dais. A computer-expert in front of
a vast main-frame with spinning reels reads-out the numbers in
Japanese while accompanying text tells us:
Kobayashi Dynasty: 98.6%
Other: 1.3% (approx.)
Deafening applause and jubilation. The mayor beams.
CUT TO:
The student-protestors on the steps outside. They watch as the
re-election-results appear on a giant viewing-screen above a bus-
stop. They are horrified. Tracy shouts into her mega-phone:
TRACY
That crook! He’s stealing the reelection again! Let’s
go!
The student-protestors shove their way through the doors of the
Municipal Dome.
CUT TO:
The podium. The mayor issues instructions to Major-Domo.
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
Mayor Kobayashi has directed Major-Domo to bring him
the Red-Button.
Major-Domo places a small, electronic console (with a single
button like a game-show buzzer) onto the lectern and plugs it
into a communications-outlet.
MONTAGE:
Sprinkler-jets. Overhead pipes. Dog-catchers on guard. A hovering
rescue-drone. The large
wasabi
-gas tank. A full company of robot-
dogs encircling: all the imprisoned animals
herded into a chain-
link corral at the center of the dog-camp. Jupiter, Nutmeg,
Oracle, et al. They look terrified and confused. Inside the metalcontrol-shed, another dog-catcher waits, gripping a lever, and
watching an un-illuminated panel-light (labeled: Go!) on his own
console next to the television set -- which displays a live-feed
of the Re-Election Night event.
CUT TO:
The mayor and his cohorts, startled, as the student-protestors
charge up the aisles and rush the stage. Tracy mounts the steps,
along with Editor-Hiroshi and the rest of the Daily-Manifesto
staff, while Mayor Kobayashi gently restrains the military-
officer and the
yakuza
-gangster. She shouts into her mega-phone:
TRACY
This landslide re-election is a massive fraud, and we
demand a re-count!
Bodyguards and
sumo
wrestlers enter from the wings. Major-Domo
grabs the silver remote-control from the military officer and
presses several buttons. With a beep, a crunch, and powerful
whir: the robotic lap-dog transforms into its military robot-dog
form.
The chaotic room goes still and silent. The mayor shouts for his
colleagues to stand down. The bodyguards retreat slightly. The
robot-dog idles. Major-Domo’s fingers linger, paused, above the
buttons of the silver remote-control. Tracy and Editor-Hiroshi
exchange a frightened look. The interpreter announces, surprised:
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
The mayor is allowing the unauthorized Pro-Dog student-
protestors a platform to voice their dissenting
beliefs!
The mayor steps down from the podium and gestures for Tracy to
speak her piece. She takes a deep breath. She strides over to the
lectern. She steps up to the microphone and begins with a
furious:
TRACY
Mayor Kobayashi has dog’s-blood on his hands! You
all
do!
The crowd immediately boos, jeers, and hisses. As Tracy presses-
on, we cut among the listeners (including the sushi chef):
TRACY
Atari was a hero. Professor Watanabe was murdered. Theserum
works
!
Tracy holds up the late-edition of the Daily-Manifesto over her
head.
INSERT:
The front page. Headline: The Serum
Works
! There is an
accompanying image of the last-dose serum-vial.
CUT TO:
The laboratory-bar. Yoko-ono and the bartender watch the
proceedings on a wall-mounted television set. Yoko-ono looks
hopeful but anxious. She is drinking chocolate milk.
CUT TO:
Tracy as she reaches the climax of her speech, which is:
TRACY
The mayor is a crook, and I hate him. Thank you.
Tracy steps down from the lectern. The audience grumbles and
mutters. Mayor Kobayashi stares at Tracy evenly. He steps back up
to the podium and responds in Japanese to Tracy’s accusations.
The interpreter translates from her glass booth:
INTERPRETER
This small minority of dog-lovers has been sent by
overseas special-interest groups to agitate disorder
and incite anarchy.
CUT TO:
Major-Domo on-stage as he demands several items directly from
Tracy’s pockets.
INSERT:
Tracy’s immigration-permit, her student I.D., and her Megasaki
Senior High class-pin as they are confiscated by the mayor’s
hatchet-man. In return, he provides her with a one-way, non-stop,
economy-class airline ticket on Megasaki International.
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
I hereby cancel and nullify Foreign-exchange-student-
Walker’s senior high school study-visa. She will be
expelled from class, stripped of her course-credits,and formally deported on the next direct-flight back to
Cincinnati, Ohio.
Applause. Tracy begins to cry.
A tremendous dog-sneeze blasts echoing through the great hall.
All eyes in the room turn at once to the center-entrance at the
back of the auditorium where:
Atari stands with Chief, Spots, Rex, King, Duke, Boss,
Peppermint, and the litter of infant pups. As they advance into
the chamber, Gondo and all the rest of the aboriginal dogs flood
up the aisle behind them.
Audience-members gasp. The mayor’s mouth falls open. Major-Domo
glares, stunned. Tracy looks wildly delighted, her eyes still
filled with tears. The robot-dog continues idling and whirring.
Atari slowly hobbles to the front of the room followed by his
company of dogs. He now walks with a cane (in fact, a discarded
yard-stick). Chief and Spots assist him as he climbs the steps to
the stage. The cats hiss and cower.
Atari bows to the mayor. Mayor Kobayashi, dazed, bows back to
him. Atari turns to Tracy and motions to Chief. Tracy hesitates,
uncertain -- then gets the idea: she reaches into one pocket and
withdraws a hypodermic needle. She reaches into another pocket
and withdraws the blue serum-vial. She jabs the needle through
the serum-vial’s rubber-cap and shoots the last-dose into Chief’s
flank. Chief yelps briefly. (A microphone on a very low stand has
been placed in front of the dog.)
The room remains silent and transfixed as: Chief squirms
slightly. He stretches his neck and shoulders. He swallows. He
straightens suddenly. His eyes widen and brighten. The tension in
his body wanes, all at once. In a snap, the sheen returns to his
coat. He starts to sneeze -- then stops-short and blurts into the
microphone:
CHIEF
Holy smokes! My lungs feel clear. My equilibrium feels
balanced. My vision is sharp as a tack for the first
time in months. Wow, that’s a great serum!
Audience-members all around the room frown and murmur, confused
and uneasy. Atari addresses the mayor formally and briefly in
Japanese. The mayor nods. The interpreter continues her
commentary in the glass booth:INTERPRETER
Master Atari, whose death, I think we can say, appears
to have been inaccurately reported, has asked to read a
statement to the General Assembly. He will then
withdraw from the debate and respond to no further
questions.
Atari raises the dog-level microphone. He takes the paper-towel
document out of his pocket and begins to read. Tracy, discreetly,
translates Atari’s speech into English, reading at a whisper into
a hand-held memo-recorder:
TRACY
Dear Editor-Hiroshi of the Megasaki Senior High Daily-
Manifesto: your
publication has a reputation for truth,
integrity, and excellent writing. In a series of first-
rate articles by an attractive --
Tracy hesitates as Atari continues his speech. She blushes but
reads-on:
TRACY
-- cub-reporter on your staff, you shine a spot-light
on the great injustice that has occurred under the
Kobayashi Administration (with the blessing of its
constituency). I have spent much of my time in recent
weeks traveling in the company of the very kind of
animals our mayor refers to as “bad-dogs”. They are the
finest living-beings I have ever come to know in all my
dozen years on this earth. To your readers, the good-
people of Megasaki, I say: the cycle of life always
hangs in a delicate balance. Who
are
we, and who do we
want
to be?
Atari holds up a finger. He repeats curtly into the microphone in
English:
ATARI
Who are
we
?
Tracy nods. She continues her recording:
TRACY
I wrote a
haiku
to try to express my feelings about the
suffering dogs of Trash Island. It is also about
nature, love, friendship, eternity, and a black owl. I
call it: “Atari’s Lantern”.CUT TO:
Viewers across the city of Megasaki: the audience at the
Municipal Dome; pedestrians on the street below the bus-stop
viewing-screen; two parents with five brothers in their family
den; two parents and two grandparents with five sisters in their
family kitchen; a librarian and ten janitorial staff-members in
the school library; a crowd at a neon-lit noodle-shop; the grand-
mother from Tracy’s residence. They all lean-in toward their
television sets, spellbound.
FANTASY-SHOT:
Framed by a round-iris matte-shot: Atari stands in an exquisite
park among a hundred cherry-trees in full-bloom. Chief is seated
on his left. Spots is seated on his right. As
Atari recites in
Japanese, the words of his
haiku
appear onscreen in both
languages:
What-ever-happen?
To-man’s-best-friend.
Falling-spring-blossom.
On-cue, the blossoms all around cascade from their branches until
the trees are bare -- and the ground is blanketed in petals.
CUT TO:
The same viewers across the city: now in tears. Chief and Spots,
on-stage, watch over Atari with defiant pride. Tracy sniffles.
She continues to translate as Atari finishes the paper-towel
speech:
TRACY
I dedicate this poem to my distant-uncle, Mayor
Kobayashi, who took me in when I myself was a stray-dog
with nowhere else to turn. Editor-Hiroshi, please,
extend my subscription for an additional year. I
enclose a check in the amount of one thousand yen.
Signed, Atari Kobayashi, former ward to the mayoral-
household.
Atari holds up an endorsed check. The interpreter, beside
herself, overcome with emotion, struggles with her own
translation:
INTERPRETER
He said a
haiku
.(unable to continue)
I’ll tell you later.
Mayor Kobayashi has turned his back to the audience. His arms are
crossed. Everyone watches him: Tracy and the student-protestors;
Major-Domo and the mayor’s stooges; the living-dogs and the
robot-dog; the stalls of the crowded auditorium.
CLOSE-UP:
The mayor turns around. His face is bright-scarlet. His ears are
vibrating. His eyes are pinched into a tight, furious squint. Two
wisps of smoke come out of his nostrils like a bull about to
steam-roll a matador. Suddenly, tears stream down his face and
his voice shatters as he stammers into his microphone. The
interpreter translates sentence-by-sentence:
INTERPRETER
Not-fair-to-boy. Not-fair-to-dog. I-have-no-honor.
The mayor slams his fist down onto the podium. He turns to the
wings and shouts in English:
MAYOR KOBAYASHI
Bring-me-Trash-Island-legislation!
Major-Domo frowns. He looks to the military-officer, the
bespectacled-executive, the technology-tycooness, and the
yakuza
-
gangster. They are confused. An aide places the familiar document
onto the lectern. Its projected image appears on the viewing-
screen above. With a sudden flourish, the mayor produces his
stamp-hammer and thumps the document at the podium again, this
time instantly and completely
erasing
the seal of his office --
formally
de-activating
the Trash Island Decree. The crowd gasps
again.
INTERPRETER
Holy Moses! The mayor has just officially repealed the
Trash Island Decree! No kidding!
CLOSE-UPS:
Atari, Tracy, Chief, Spots, Editor-Hiroshi, Rex, King, Duke,
Boss: all flummoxed. Major-Domo narrows his eyes and grits his
slightly pointy teeth. He presses a button on the silver remote-
control.
The robot-dog springs to life, leaping in front of the podium in
its full-on attack posture. Its retracted bayonets emerge. Itscanine-teeth switch to blades. Its electronic roar booms at the
mayor. The mayor freezes. Dead silence.
Major-Domo shouts at the mayor and points to: the Red-Button. The
mayor shakes his head and refuses. Major-Domo screams at the
mayor, pointing again. The robot-dog advances three paces toward
the podium. The fighting-screens slide over its eyes.
INSERT:
The Red-Button console.
EXTREME CLOSE-UP:
Mayor Kobayashi sweats.
REVERSE:
Major-Domo, backed by his four cohorts. He hesitates with his
finger still poised over the silver remote-control.
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
Major-Domo is accusing the mayor of breaking his
campaign promise! He’s steaming mad! It’s going to be a
fight!
INSERT:
The silver remote-control. A skeletal finger presses a button.
The robot-dog lunges at the mayor, smashing-through the wooden
podium and blasting it to smithereens. The Red-Button console
clickity-clacks onto the floor, still wired to its
communications-outlet. The mayor retreats, dashing behind the
theatre-curtain. The robot-dog roars after him. The stage breaks
into a chaotic riot: politicians, protestors, students,
bodyguards, cats, dogs.
Spots looks to Chief with a strange, grim expression. Chief
shouts, desperate:
CHIEF
Spit him with a tooth!
SPOTS
(resigned)
I can’t get a clean shot. Too many innocent protestors.
I’ll be right back.Spots looks briefly to Peppermint and the six pups. He smiles
faintly. He dashes-in after the robot-dog and disappears behind
the theatre-curtain. Atari, Chief, Tracy, and the others watch as
the theatre-curtain billows and swings and darts and jolts amid
screams and roars and bangs and booms. Finally, there is calm.
The robot-dog re-emerges from behind the theatre-curtain. It
pauses at center-stage. It sways slightly, leans over sideways,
and collapses. Spots re-emerges from behind the theatre-curtain.
He pauses at center-stage. He sways slightly, leans over
sideways, and collapses. Mayor Kobayashi re-emerges from behind
the theatre-curtain. He pauses at center-stage. He looks to
Atari.
Atari sways slightly, leans over sideways, and collapses.
As Tracy, Chief, and the mayor rush to assist the fallen Atari --
Major-Domo dives across the stage to the Red-Button, still
plugged-in on the floor. He slams his palm down onto it with a
whack. The camera whip-pans to the communications-outlet.
MONTAGE:
1. The panel-light in the control-shed at the dog-camp
illuminates: Go!
2. Chief leaps at Major-Domo and clamps his jaws like a bear-trap
onto the hatchet-man’s hand. Major-Domo screams.
3. The waiting dog-catcher in the control-shed pulls his lever.
4. Rex, King, Duke, and Boss assault the military-officer, the
bespectacled-executive, the technology-tycooness, and the
yakuza
-
gangster.
5. The
wasabi
-gas tank rumbles and pumps. The over-head pipes
clank and squeal. The sprinkler-jets hum and vibrate.
6. The Hero Pack chases Major-Domo and his cronies behind the
curtain, which begins to billow and swing and dart and jolt
again.
CUT TO:
The rescue-drone blasting its spot-light down at the dog-camp.
The company of dog-catchers puts on their gas-masks. The trapped
dogs cower. The surrounding robot-dogs close-ranks. The dog-
catcher in the control-shed looks-out from his window.On the roof of the control-shed: the rookie-dog-catcher lies on
his stomach, watching with binoculars. His helmet has been
replaced with a Pro-Dog headband. There is a computer at his side
with wires running down the side of the shed. He lowers his
binoculars.
One of the dog-catchers in the yard looks puzzled. He taps the
side of his gas-mask. He looks to another dog-catcher. Both of
their gas-masks begin to fill with puffs of yellow smoke. They
look to the other dog-catchers. All their gas-masks are now
filling-up with the yellow
wasabi
-gas. They clutch and pull at
straps and hoses. In the shed: the dog-catcher frowns and looks
around, frantic. The shed is rapidly filling with
wasabi
-gas, as
well.
The trapped dogs look at each other, confused but hopeful. The
rookie-dog-catcher types more commands on his computer. All at
once: every robot-dog in the dog-camp transforms into a robotic
lap-dog. Jupiter hesitates. He bellows:
JUPITER
Escape!
The trapped dogs explode into a frenzy. Jupiter, Oracle, and
Nutmeg lead the charge as the dog-mob forces open the gates of
the chain-link corral. They over-run the circle of robotic lap-
dogs (who cheerfully jump and play among them). They charge past
the coughing, mask-less dog-catchers, including the one who
bursts hacking and choking from the shed. They slam their way out
of the dog-camp and run away in every direction. The rookie dog-
catcher on the roof of the shed looks up at the sky. He types in
a final command.
The rescue-drone teeters, sputters, falls-flat with a thundering
impact, and (as before) explodes with a miniature nuclear blast.
INT. AMBULANCE. NIGHT
Tracy, Chief, and the mayor sit at Atari’s side while he lies in
a gurney with tubes in his arms and nose, unconscious. In the
rear-corner of the vehicle, Spots is also unconscious, lying on
his side in a plastic-bin.
INT. MEGASAKI GENERAL. NIGHT
A hospital waiting-room. Tracy and Chief wait side-by-side in
plastic chairs. Peppermint nurses the six pups on the floor next
to a drinking-water dispenser. Rex, King, Duke, and Boss sleepunder a magazine-rack. Mayor Kobayashi, in hand-cuffs, paces,
regretful and anxious.
A doctor wearing a surgical-mask bursts into the room. He carries
the remaining hunk of the broken propeller-clutch in his slightly
bloody, latex-gloved hands. He takes one last, cursory look at
the thing, then tosses it into a waste-basket and says to Tracy
in English:
SURGEON
The brain surgery was a complete success, but his left
kidney failed due to the stress of the operation.
TRACY
(hesitates)
What about the right one?
SURGEON
(unfortunately)
He lost it in a train-crash two years ago.
Without hesitation, the mayor (still hand-cuffed) stands-up,
approaches the surgeon, bows deeply, and issues a command at an
urgent whisper:
MAYOR KOBAYASHI
Take my left kidney. Give to Atari-san.
OVERHEAD ANGLE:
Atari and Mayor Kobayashi lie unconscious on two side-by-side
operating-tables. Both patients are covered by white sheets and
wear anesthetic-masks over their faces. The mayor is still in
hand-cuffs. The surgeon operates, briskly removing the mayor’s
left kidney and installing it into Atari’s abdomen. He stitches-
up the two incisions neatly. Chief watches the procedure through
a window with his own surgical-mask over his snout. He goes to
another window and looks-in at:
Spots on his own operating table, intubated. A pulse-monitor
beside him displays only the faintest blip.
INSERT:
A publicity wood-block-print of Atari and Spots wreathed in
flower petals. Captions above and below read:
Pray for Atari and Spots
Beloved Ward and Bodyguard-DogTo the Mayoral-Household
INT. MUNICIPAL DOME. NIGHT
The Re-Election Night event has become a candle-light vigil.
Editor-Hiroshi, at the podium, holds-up a book entitled: Election
Law (Revised) and speaks to the audience in Japanese. The
interpreter explains:
INTERPRETER (V.O.)
According to a long-standing statute unique to Uni
Prefecture, in the event of the death, disappearance,
or felony-prosecution of the chosen candidate on,
while, during, or concurrent with the Re-Election Night
ceremony, all powers and authorities vested in his or
her designated office transfer forthwith to his or her
next-of-kin and/or appointed heir. In other words,
Atari Kobayashi is the new mayor of Megasaki City!
Atari appears on the viewing-screen in his hospital-bed. He
smiles to the audience, drugged. The surgeon at his side gives a
thumbs-up. The audience cheers, cries, hugs, and shouts. The
interpreter in her glass booth shares a final, dazzled moment:
INTERPRETER
You heard me right: Atari Kobayashi is the new mayor of
Megasaki City! (Let’s hope that new kidney works.) Boy,
what a night!
The audience begins to sing The Boy Samurai. The
taiko
barrel-
drummers from the opening titles join them, pounding away on-
stage.
INT. LIVING ROOM. NIGHT
Rex (with a fresh hair-cut) lies half-asleep, curled-up on a
lamb’s-wool bean-bag next to an electric space-heater. His
elderly school-teacher master sits nearby in a recliner studying
a math textbook.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Life in Uni Prefecture returned to a comfortable
tranquility.
EXT. BASEBALL DIAMOND. DAY
Boss (in a clean, new jersey) watches with mixed-feelings from a
dug-out as another strike-out returns from home-plate and joins
his seated team-mates. Boss licks the player’s hand encouraginglyas he passes-by.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
The Megasaki Dragons ended their winning streak with a
staggering loss to the Honda Goblins.
INT. TELEVISION STUDIO. DAY
King (immaculately brushed) sits calmly with tissues tucked-
around his collar next to his rotund, white-aproned master while
a make-up artist touches-up both of them and a cameraman takes a
light-reading. A hundred stacked cans labeled Doggy-Chop surround
them.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Doggy-Chop re-opened all eleven of its domestic
factories --
INT/EXT. SCREENED-PORCH. DAY
Duke (fully groomed) sips from a flowery, ceramic dog-bowl while
his middle-aged-matron master and her two very similar friends
sit circled around him, stirring matching tea-cups, cooing
admiringly, and petting him. Duke’s master feeds him a dog-
biscuit.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
-- and Puppy-Snaps resumed production with an improved
product.
INSERT:
A chalk-board menu. Today’s items: bologna
sashimi
, shrimp-
flavored patty, frozen fish-sticks hand-roll, tap-water. The
camera tilts-down as a
bento
-box slides into frame and is briskly
filled with the rations listed above.
INT. PREFECTURE PRISON. DAY
The lunch-room of a minimum-security penitentiary. The sushi-chef
(in a prison-striped head-band and kimono) serves the inmates as
they glide-by down a cafeteria-line: Major-Domo, the military-
officer, the bespectacled-executive, the technology-tycooness,
the yakuza-gangster, and Mayor Kobayashi himself (all in their
own prison-striped kimonos). The mayor rolls an I.V. drip at his
side.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Graft and political corruption were reduced tosustainable, acceptable levels.
Outside, leashed together like a chain-gang: the mayor and his
cronies’ five cats slink, sullen, across the prison-yard.
EXT. VETERINARY-TENT. DAY
A refugee-camp mobile-clinic. Yoko-ono inoculates a beagle at the
head of a procession of waiting dogs. Seconds after the dose, the
dog perks-up, powerfully rejuvenated.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
The Dog-Flu serum cured every breathing-animal in the
region.
INSERT:
The front-page of the Daily-Manifesto. Headline: Megasaki City
Salutes Former Bodyguard-Dog. There is a wood-block-print of a
newly-erected bronze-and-stone statue of Spots in his dog-cage.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
A remorseful society embraced its once-forsaken pets.
EXT. JUNK-YARD. DAY
Trash Island, dog-less -- with the exception of one animal seated
in the foreground in silhouette with its back to the camera
looking out over the sea of refuse.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Some say a few lost-dogs continue to roam and scavenge
on Trash Island --
The dog turns to the camera with a metallic creak. Its eyes glow
yellow. It “sneezes”. (Actually, an electronic hiccup.)
NARRATOR (V.O.)
-- however, these rumors remain unconfirmed.
INT. MAYORAL RESIDENCE. NIGHT
The boardroom, redecorated. Atari, in a formal mayoral kimono,
sits at the head of the lacquered table with Chief at his side.
He confers with a new group while the stenographer taps away and
the Simul-Translate machine translates:
SIMUL-TRANSLATE (V.O.)
Mayor Atari, we all agree it should be a crime toabuse, beat, murder, or yell at any dog in Megasaki
City.
The camera pans from Atari to Editor-Hiroshi (who has been
speaking off-screen in Japanese) with Scrap at his side.
SIMUL-TRANSLATE (V.O.)
That is not the question. The question is: what is the
appropriate punishment?
The camera pans from Editor-Hiroshi to Tracy with Nutmeg at her
side as Atari responds (off-screen in Japanese):
SIMUL-TRANSLATE (V.O.)
Exactly. And the answer is: Death Penalty.
The camera pans from Tracy to the rookie dog-catcher with Gondo
at his side as Editor-Hiroshi continues to debate the issue:
SIMUL-TRANSLATE (V.O.)
That seems excessive to us.
The camera pans back to Atari, who continues to stand his ground
as the meeting concludes:
SIMUL-TRANSLATE (V.O.)
Possibly. Anyway, we should make it at least 60 days
community-service and a fine of no less than 750,000
yen. Meeting adjourned.
CUT TO:
A pair of escort-trams manned by
sumo
-guards and followed by
Atari and Tracy in an armored mayoral-tram. Atari feeds the runt
from Peppermint’s litter with a baby-bottle. He puts his arm
around Tracy’s shoulder. He speaks briefly into his earphone (in
Japanese). The camera dollies one tram back to the caboose of the
tram-cade where we find Chief in his capacity as security-detail.
He answers soberly, scanning the route ahead:
CHIEF (O.S.)
I’m standing-by, Master Atari.
A familiar voice comes from off-screen at the rear of the tram:
NUTMEG
How’s it feel to be a former stray?
Nutmeg sidles up next to Chief. She now wears her own secret-service-type earphone. Chief answers, bittersweet:
CHIEF
I take it one day at a time. Last week, I nearly be-
handed an industrial-lobbyist from West Suzuki. They
had to give him a blood transfusion.
NUTMEG
(gently)
He probably had it coming.
CHIEF
Maybe.
CHIEF
(pause)
Learned any new tricks?
NUTMEG
(a little reluctant)
Actually, yes. Just one.
CHIEF
(suddenly eager)
Can I see it?
Nutmeg takes a deep breath. She springs-down onto her forelegs,
jolts-up a notch onto the index-claw of one paw (balancing with
the other), and cycles her hind-legs in a piston-motion.
NUTMEG
I’m supposed to be juggling ten bowling-pins engulfed
in flames over my tail at this point, but you just have
to imagine that part.
CHIEF
(instantly)
I can picture it.
Nutmeg ends the trick. Chief asks softly, a bit more than just-
curious:
CHIEF
You still against bringing puppies into this world?
Nutmeg starts to answer -- but hesitates. She says gently,
almost-ready:
NUTMEGI’ll tell you when I get to know you better.
CHIEF
(pause)
Fair enough.
The tram-cade crosses above a blooming Megasaki Park. Seed-pods
float into the air like feathers. Sunbeams break through the soft
clouds.
CHIEF
My friends think I like to fight, but it’s just not
true. Sometimes I lose my temper and blow off a little
steam -- but I’ve never enjoyed it. I’m not a violent
dog. I don’t know why I bite.
NUTMEG
(simply)
I’m not attracted to tame animals.
Nutmeg licks a seed-pod off Chief’s snout. Chief looks slightly
bashful, but mostly amused and grateful.
CHIEF
Thank you.
Chief begins to whistle the ancient folk-tune as the two dogs
continue their afternoon security-cruise. Up ahead: Atari kisses
Tracy. They hold hands as the tram-cade buzzes along.
EXT.
SHINTO
TEMPLE. EVENING
A bright-red, wooden shrine floating at the center of a man-made
reflecting-pool. The statue of Spots stands at the center of the
entrance. A bilingual plaque reads:
Dedicated to Spots Kobayashi
(Former Bodyguard-Dog to the Mayoral-Household)
For Distinguished Service
With Gratitude
From the People and Dogs of Megasaki City
The camera booms-down to reveal a lacquered dog-hovel with
tatami
floors and silk cushions at the edge of the reflecting-pool.
Reclining inside are: Peppermint, the five pups, and Spots (with
a splint on his leg and a bandage on his head). A priest in a
tall black hat and white kimono serves a tray of two large and
six extremely small dog-bowls labeled Doggy-Chop. The black owl
sits perched on top of the roof of the shrine. It hoots.The
taiko
barrel-drummers resume their relentless beat as the
bird stretches its wings, floats-up into the air, and flies away
over the dusk-lit city.SQ2 MAYOR KOBAYASHI CAMPAIGN POSTER
Michael GaskellSQ55 MAYOR ATARI OFFICIAL SCREEN
Camille Moulin-DupréSQ22 MAYOR KOBAYASHI OFFICIAL SCREEN
Camille Moulin-DupréSQ22 SUPERVISOR KITANO OFFICIAL SCREEN
Camille Moulin-Dupré
SQ2 MEGASAKI CITY
Carl Sprague
SQ8 ATARI KOBAYASHI
Félicie HaymozSQ2/25 FOREIGN-EXCHANGE STUDENT
TRACY WALKER
Félicie HaymozSQ48 ATARI SILK-
SCREEN/STENCIL
Molly RosenblattSQ5 SPOTS WOOD-BLOCK PRINT
Molly RosenblattSQ2 ASSISTANT HATCHET-MAN
MAJOR-DOMO
Félicie HaymozSQ0.5 SHINTO SHRINE
Kevin J. J. Hill
SQ47 SAKE BAR
Kevin J. J. HillSQ45 MEGASAKI SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT THEATRE
Turlo Griffin
SQ36 THE FAR-AWAY CUTICLES
Turlo GriffinSQ44 KOBAYASHI ANIMAL-TESTING PLANT
Turlo Griffin
SQ4 SPASMODIC NASAL EXPIRATION
Turlo GriffinSQ4 INSOMNIA
Turlo Griffin
SQ24 22 VIEWS OF TRASH ISLAND
Victor Georgiev
SQ30 CRUSHER/COMPACTOR/INCINERATOR EXTERIOR
Victor GeorgievSQ31 KOBAYASHI PARK
Victor GeorgievAbout the Author
Wes Anderson is the writer/director of
Bottle Rocket, Rushmore,
The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Acquatic with Steve Zissou,
Darjeeling Limited, Fantastic Mr Fox
and
Moonrise Kingdom
.Also by the Author
also by Wes Anderson from Faber
RUSHMORE
THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS
MOONRISE KINGDOM
THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTELCopyright
First published in the UK in 2018
by Faber & Faber Ltd
Bloomsbury House
74–77 Great Russell Street
London WC1B 3DA
Published in the USA in 2018
This ebook edition first published in 2018
All rights reserved
© Wes Anderson, 2018
Cover design by Faber
Cover image © 2017 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. All Rights Reserved.
The right of Wes Anderson to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with
Section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased,
licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the
publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly
permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct
infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law
accordingly
ISBN 978–0–571–33645–6 | screenplays |
Why does the integral of $E\psi(x)dx$ go to zero around the the delta function? [closed]
[Homework-like questions](https://physics.meta.stackexchange.com/q/714) and [check-my-work questions](https://physics.meta.stackexchange.com/q/6093) are considered off-topic here, particularly when asking about specific computations instead of underlying physics concepts. Homework questions can be on-topic when they are useful to a broader audience. Note that answers to homework questions with complete solutions may be deleted!
---
Please help the asker edit the question so that it asks about the underlying physics concepts instead of specific computations. If there are any complete answers, please flag them for moderator attention.
Closed last year.
[Improve this question](/posts/719884/edit)
My lecturer writes:
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/IBNQt.png)
Firstly, I assume the term with a second derivative is, well, exactly that - a second derivative and therefore intended to be $\frac{d^2\psi(x)}{dx^2}$ and not $\frac{d^2\psi(x)}{dx}$.
For context, this wave function is for the potential $V(x)=-\alpha\delta(x)$.
I would be enormously grateful if someone might explain why the integral on the RHS goes to zero due to "continuity".
Now, I understand that in the limit $\epsilon$ approaches zero, a definite integral between $-\epsilon$ and $\epsilon$ will go to zero, but then the terms on the left would also go to zero - and they don't, as shown in the next line of his solution...
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/F9MzU.png)
The reason why the LHS is nonzero is quite simple. On the one hand, $$\int\_{-\epsilon}^{\epsilon}\dfrac{df}{dx}dx=f(\epsilon)-f(-\epsilon).$$
The limit as $\epsilon\to 0$ quantifies the discontinuity of $f(x)$ at zero. That is the reason why $$\lim\_{\epsilon\to 0}\int\_{-\epsilon}^\epsilon -\frac{\hbar^2}{2m}\dfrac{d^2\psi}{dx^2}dx=-\frac{\hbar^2}{2m}\bigg(\dfrac{d\psi}{dx}\bigg|\_{x=0^+}-\dfrac{d\psi}{dx}\bigg|\_{x=0^-}\bigg).$$
On the other hand, $$\int\_{-\epsilon}^\epsilon \delta(x)f(x)dx=f(0)$$
and there is no dependence on $\epsilon$ whatsoever, so the limit is trivial. The thing is that the integral of $\delta(x)f(x)$ over *any* interval $[a,b]$ containing $0$ is $f(0)$, with no further dependence on $a$ and $b$. So that is the reason why $$\lim\_{\epsilon\to 0}\int\_{-\epsilon}^{\epsilon}-\delta(x)\alpha \psi(x)=-\alpha \psi(0).$$
Now about the RHS. Since $\psi(x)\in \mathbb{C}$ let us write $\psi(x)=f(x)+ig(x)$, which reduces the problem to functions $f,g:[-\epsilon,\epsilon]\to \mathbb{R}$. Continuity implies these functions are bounded on $[-\epsilon,\epsilon]$ and therefore we may bound the integrals in terms of the length of the interval which is $2\epsilon$ and the minimum and maximum values of the functions $$2\epsilon m\_f \leq \int\_{-\epsilon}^\epsilon f(x)dx \leq 2\epsilon M\_f,\quad 2\epsilon m\_g \leq \int\_{-\epsilon}^\epsilon g(x)dx \leq 2\epsilon M\_g.$$
As $\epsilon \to 0$ we therefore conclude that these integrals vanish and therefore so does that of $\psi(x)$.
"Continuity" is the wrong term there. It'd probably be better to say that "assuming that $\psi(x)$ is *finite* at 0, the integral from $-\epsilon$ to $\epsilon$ will go to zero as $\epsilon \to 0$." The only way that this integral can remain finite as $\epsilon \to 0$ is if $\psi(x)$ itself has "delta-function-like" behavior at $x= 0$. But if it does, it will not be square integrable ($\int [\delta(x)]^2 \, dx$ is not well defined) and so we can rule out that possibility.
I will freely admit that I'm playing fast and loose with the mathematics in the above equation; a more rigourous analysis is probably possible. But hopefully the above gives some intuition as to why this statement is made in this derivation.
So your equation is:
$$\lim\_{\epsilon\to 0}\int\_{-\epsilon}^{+\epsilon}\left[
-\frac{\hbar^2}{2m}\left\{\frac{d^2\psi(x)}{dx^2}\right\}
-\alpha\delta(x)\psi(x)
\right]dx
=\lim\_{\epsilon\to 0}\int\_{-\epsilon}^{+\epsilon}
E\psi(x)dx$$
We can factor out the constants, and also split the sum on the left side:
$$-\frac{\hbar^2}{2m}\lim\_{\epsilon\to 0}
\underbrace{\int\_{-\epsilon}^{+\epsilon}\frac{d^2\psi(x)}{dx^2}dx}
\_{=\left.\frac{d\psi(x)}{dx}\right|\_{x=+\epsilon}
-\left.\frac{d\psi(x)}{dx}\right|\_{x=-\epsilon}}
-\alpha\lim\_{\epsilon\to 0}
\underbrace{\int\_{-\epsilon}^{+\epsilon}\delta(x)\psi(x)dx}\_{=\psi(0)}
=E\ \underbrace{\lim\_{\epsilon\to 0}\int\_{-\epsilon}^{+\epsilon}\psi(x)dx}\_{=0}$$
Here we used:
* for the first integral, the [theorem how to calculate an integral](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Integral#Second_theorem),
(Note that we did *not* assume $\frac{d\psi(x)}{dx}$
to be continuous. If we we did so, then this integral
would be zero.)
* for the second integral, the definition of the [Dirac-$\delta$-function](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirac_delta_function#Definitions),
* for the third integral, the fact that $\psi(x)$ is continuous
So we are left with
$$-\frac{\hbar^2}{2m}\left(
\left.\frac{d\psi(x)}{dx}\right|\_{x=+\epsilon}
-\left.\frac{d\psi(x)}{dx}\right|\_{x=-\epsilon}
\right)-\alpha\psi(0)=0$$
| stackexchange/physics |
the use of highly resistive material for kinetic inductance detectors is promising because it is expected to increase their responsivity through the high kinetic inductance l@xmath4 and allow a more efficient direct optical coupling @xcite . to make kids based on highly resistive materials
, one needs to adapt the microwave design typically used for aluminium kids .
a kid chip consists essentially of multiple resonators coupled to a microwave throughline , which is connected to the readout electronics .
the throughline has a characteristic impedance @xmath5 which must match the 50 @xmath0 impedance of the readout circuit : a mismatch is expected to be at the origin of losses in the transmission and box resonances at the origin of parasitic dips .
@xmath5 depends in part on the surface inductance l@xmath4 , which is related to the resistivity @xmath6 of the metallic film .
a 100 nm thick al film has typically l@xmath7 0.1 ph , whereas l@xmath8 44 ph for the tin film used in this study .
the @xmath5 variations due to the increase of l@xmath4 can be determined using sonnet electromagnetic 2d simulations . for a typical throughline on silicone substrate having a central line width s = 10 @xmath9 and a gap width w = 6 @xmath9 , @xmath5 @xmath10 @xmath0 for al , whereas for l@xmath4 = 40 ph , @xmath5 becomes frequency dependent , with a mean value at @xmath11 180 @xmath0 . to solve the problem of impedance mismatch
, we have tested the option of an hybrid design , with a throughline in aluminum to read the tin resonators .
two slightly different designs have been made and measured : the transmission obtained is close to the lossless transmission.the dark kid properties have been studied on a large number of resonators and the best nep measured is as low as @xmath12 @xmath1 @xmath13 .
the three designs used for this study are shown in fig . [
fig : design ] .
the first design , mono , is a standard non hybrid design and has been measured for comparison to see experimentally the effect of an impedance mismatch .
the second design is essentially made of aluminium , with only the kid central lines in tin .
it is called kidmix because the resonators corresponds to a microwave tin line having an al groundplane . with this design
, the kid properties may be affected by the presence of aluminium , especially if the superconducting critical temperature t@xmath14 of tin is larger than the al one .
our al films have t@xmath14 = 1.2 k and tin has 0 k @xmath15 4.5 k depending on its stoichiometry .
the third design , duo , has been made for future use of tin and other high resistive materials having @xmath16 1.2 k. it consists of an al throughline and tin resonators which are included in rectangular tin groundplanes .
all designs have a 2 cm length straight throughline , with a central line s = 10 @xmath9 and a gap width w = 6 @xmath9 .
the throughline is surrounded by 16 half waves meandered cpw resonators , having a 3 @xmath9 central line width , a 2 @xmath9 gap and a length between 3.1 and 4.5 mm .
the length sets the resonance frequencies , which we want to be between 4 and 9 ghz to match with our setup specifications .
it takes into account the geometrical inductance @xmath17 but also the frequency shift @xmath18 due to the kinetic inductance l@xmath4 .
the resonators are capacitively coupled to the throughline via a t shaped coupler .
the coupling length set the coupling quality factor @xmath19 of each resonator , which is related to the measured ( loaded ) quality factor q by the relation @xmath20 @xcite .
the internal quality factor @xmath21 is not known a priori so the coupling lengths are between 70 @xmath9 and 560 @xmath9 corresponding to @xmath22 between 6 @xmath1 @xmath23 and 3 @xmath1 @xmath24 . in the duo design , the tin and al groundplanes are separated near the throughline by a gap , to avoid the presence of a possibly dirty interface close to the coupler , which might create some excess noise in the kid transmission @xcite .
ideally , the al groundplane width on both sides of the throughline should be as large as its central line and gaps , to avoid any effect of the tin groundplanes on @xmath5 .
but this implies a larger distance between throughline and resonators , thereby reducing @xmath22 . to minimize the effect of the tin groundplanes keeping the desired coupling ,
the al groundplane width has been set at 4 @xmath9 near the resonators and the tin groundplanes have been reduced to rectangle of 700 @xmath9 width separated by 1300 @xmath9 al groundplanes .
+ the 50 nm thick tin film has been produced by magnetron sputtering onto a highly resistive silicon substrate , with a @xmath25 flow rate of 3.58/30 and patterned using standard contact lithography and dry etching with an sf6/ar gasmixture .
this is followed by deposition of a 100 nm al film which is patterned using wet etching .
the tin film has been characterized by xps depth profiling and xrd : except on the top 1 nm layer , the film is contaminant free under the sensitivity of 0.5 at@xmath26 and the ( 111 ) and ( 200 ) crystallographic orientations are present , giving rise to diffraction peaks of similar amplitudes .
resistivity measurements have been made at low temperature on 2 different chips : @xmath27 @xmath28 130 @xmath29 for both measurement but the superconducting transition has been seen at 0.8 k on the first chip and 1.1 k on the second . this discrepancy is unlikely due to the film quality according to the xps results and may come from the high t@xmath14 dependence of tin with nitrogen content , especially around t@xmath14 = 1 k. indeed , t@xmath14 = 1.5 k has been measured in another tin film from the same source and same quality , the only difference between the two films was a change of @xmath30 in the ratio of n2/ar flow rate used during the deposition .
the chips used in this study were located , on the wafer , near the first chip having @xmath31= 0.8 k which will be used for the following analysis .
the superconducting gap @xmath32 = 125 @xmath33 is determined from the relation @xmath32 = 1.81 k@xmath34t@xmath14 @xcite .
the kinetic inductance l@xmath4 @xmath11 44 ph is estimated using the relation l@xmath35 @xcite with t the film thickness .
+ all chips have been measured with the same setup , during separate cooldowns .
the chip measured is mounted on a sample holder cooled at 100 mk in an adiabatic demagnetization refrigerator .
the sample holder is placed in a light tight box @xcite , surrounded by a cryoperm and a superconducting magnetic shield .
the complex transmission is measured using a commercial vector network analyzer , the noise is measured using an agilent synthetizer coupled to an iq mixer and the lifetime is obtained through the response to an optical pulse .
more details on the setup and the measurements can be found ref @xcite .
the magnitude of the complex transmission @xmath36 measured for the three different designs , at 100 mk and with a readout power of -100 dbm is shown in fig .
[ fig : s21]a . between 4 and 9 ghz .
only few sharp kid dips are visible due to the low frequency band resolution of the sweeps . the result of the same measurement on an aluminum chip is added as a reference for the setup transmission : @xmath36 is flat at 60 db , corresponding to the system transmission and decreases exponentially above 7 ghz due to one amplifier cutoff . @xcite .
the mono chip exhibits an additional frequency dependent reduction of the transmission , up to 15 db around 7 ghz . on the other hand , the duo chip curve follow closely the lossless transmission .
the kidmix chip is also close , but shows an unexpected 15 db reduction in the 7 to 8 ghz region . in fig .
[ fig : s21]b .
, the @xmath36 transmission of the mono chip is presented at 100 mk and 500 mk . the s21 reduction due to
the impedance mismatch is frequency dependent but also temperature dependent . for comparison ,
the inset present the temperature dependence of the transmission , between 100 mk and 1.3k for the three chips at the fixed frequency 5 ghz . for the duo and kidmix chips ,
the curve is dominated by the aluminum transmission : the superconducting transition appear at 1.25 k and @xmath36 is almost temperature independent below 800 mk . in the mono chip ,
the tin superconducting transition is seen at 800 mk and the transmission depends on t even below 300 mk .
the fact that the kidmix transmission is temperature independent shows that the reduction seen between 7 and 8 ghz is not due to the presence of tin .
indeed , it has been identified in following experiments to be a parasitic setup reflection present during the measure of the kidmix chip : it has been cancelled by retightening one coaxial connector on the 4k stage .
this results show that the throughline impedance match the 50 ohms circuit impedance for the duo and kidmix chips .
c|c|c|c|c|c|c & @xmath21 & @xmath37 & @xmath38 & @xmath39 & @xmath40 & @xmath41 + mean value & 1.8 @xmath1 @xmath42 & -62 & 6.7 @xmath1 @xmath43 & -62 & -70 & 1.2 + best value & 4.6 @xmath1 @xmath42 & -56 & 2.4 @xmath1 @xmath44 & -77 & -83 & 5.6 + the properties of the microresonators have been measured and analysed following the method described in details in ref @xcite . for each chips , multiples dips
have been detected ; the measured frequencies of all kids in all chips correspond to the fundamental and first harmonic of the geometric frequencies , shifted by a factor fexp / [email protected] . in this study , 5 , 13 and 18 kid dips have been fully characterized in , respectively , the mono , duo and kidmix chips . in the mono chip , almost all kid dips were asymmetric .
this is probably another consequence of the impedance mismatch : the standing waves induce impedance variations near the kids coupling arms .
it gives rise to an overestimation of the quality factors , but should nt affect the determination of the other properties .
the mean and best values of the kid properties are summarized in table [ tab:1 ] for all kids of the three designs .
they are varying slightly between kids on the same chip and we have not seen any clear systematic properties change between the three designs . the mean value for the internal quality factor @xmath21 is 1.8 @xmath1 @xmath42 , which agrees well with the values reported by vissers et al.@xcite on tin films having both ( 111 ) and ( 100 ) xrd peaks : our results then support their conclusions on the dependence of @xmath21 with crystalline orientation .
the internal powers , calculated for the highest readout power ( typically -100dbm ) above which an excess noise due to current saturation is observed , are about 10 db lower than in the case of similar al kids having the same thickness .
on the other hand , the lifetime measured at 100 mk varies widely from one kid to another , even in the same chip .
half of the kids ( distributed on all the chips ) exhibit a lifetime between 0.2 and 0.3 ms , in good agreement with ref.@xcite , but a surprisingly long lifetime has been observed in some kids , up to 5.3ms at 100mk .
the result of this measurement for the kid @xmath46 having the longer lifetime is presented fig . [
fig : lifetime ] . fig .
[ fig : lifetime ] also shows the temperature dependence of the lifetime for kid @xmath46 and kid @xmath47 having the typical 0.2 ms lifetime at 100 mk .
both curves have a non monotonic temperature dependence , with a maximum value at t @xmath11 100 mk @xmath11 0.13 t@xmath14 .
also , both temperature dependences do not follow the kaplan theory @xcite above this value .
however , we believe that the relaxation time measured is the actual recombination time because 1 ) a careful optimization of the setup has been done to screen / absorb straylight and illuminate the superconducting film only [ jochem ltd14 ] , 2 ) with the same setup , we have measured on a low noise al kid , a lifetime from the pulse technique in good agreement with the one determined from the fluctuations in the noise spectra [ devissers prl10 ] , 3 ) as shown fig . [
fig : lifetime ] a very similar lifetime value is obtained from both phase and amplitude data , and is independent of the optical pulse power .
the electrical noise equivalent power is calculated following ref @xcite .
the mean value obtained for the kids having the short 0.2 to 0.3 ms lifetime is 5.4 @xmath1 @xmath48 @xmath3 .
the nep being inversely proportional to the lifetime , an even smaller value is obtained in the kids having the higher lifetime values and the best nep is as low as 4.4 @xmath1 @xmath49 @xmath3 .
( duo chip , f@xmath50 @xmath115.7 ghz , q@xmath51 @xmath112@xmath1 @xmath52 , p@xmath51 @xmath11 - 59 dbm ) under an optical pulse and for different pulse power ( blue ) .
the lifetime deduced from the low angle fits@xcite ( red ) are 5.6 ms and 5.1 ms from resp . the phase and the amplitude .
( right ) temperature dependence of the lifetime in phase ( closed symbols ) and amplitude ( open symbols ) for kid @xmath46 ( square ) and kid @xmath47 ( circle ) ( kidmix chip , f@xmath50 @xmath113.0 ghz , q@xmath51 @xmath115@xmath1 @xmath42 , p@xmath51 @xmath11 - 62 dbm).,scaledwidth=100.0% ]
two new microwave hybrid designs have been made in order to read high l@xmath4 microresonators via an al throughline .
they have been tested experimentally using a tin film having l@xmath53 44 ph and t@xmath14 = 0.8 k. no impedance mismatch is seen in the @xmath36 transmission and the kid dips are symmetrics .
the dark kid properties have been measured in 36 resonators .
the lifetime varies from one kid to another , going from 0.2 to 5.7 ms .
the long lifetime observed in some kids gives rise to a nep as low as 4.4 @xmath1 @xmath49 @xmath3 .
the origin of the discrepancy in the lifetime values in a high quality tin film is still open to question , and may be due to the strong dependence of the superconducting properties with stoichiometry in this material . | arxiv |
galaxy formation involves a large set of physical processes - cosmological expansion , gravity , hydrodynamics , atomic physics and feedback from star formation , stellar evolution and black hole growth - and spans large dynamic ranges in time ( at least @xmath7myr to @xmath8gyr ) and space ( at least @xmath9pc to @xmath10mpc ) . some of the most interesting results on galaxy formation
are thus obtained using large - scale simulations , providing fundamental insights on a variety of different aspects ( e.g. , * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
the spatial distributions of galaxies have been extensively studied observationally , primarily at low redshift . among the most striking
is the nature s ability to maintain a powerlaw galaxy - galay two - point correlation function over a significant range ( @xmath11mpc ) ( e.g. , * ? ? ?
* ) , although there is evidence of a slight inflection at @xmath12mpc in recent analysis ( e.g. , * ? ? ?
this spatial regularity is not inherited from the linear power spectrum but must be a result of cooperation between nonlinear evolution and galaxy formation . in self - gravitating systems , such as galaxies , the temporal and spatial structures may be related .
this may be seen by two examples .
first , for an isolated ( non - dissipative ) spherical system , the collapse time of each shell ( assuming no shell crossings ) is uniquely determined by the interior mass and specific energy of the shell that in turn is determined by the density structures .
second , during the growth of a typical galaxy , in addition to direct acquisition of stars via mergers and accretion ( along with dark matter ) , significant spatial interactions may induce significant star formation activities hence leave temporal imprints in its star formation history .
taking these indications together suggests that one should benefit by tackling the problem of galaxy formation combining the spatial and temporal information . here , as a step in that direction
, we perform a novel analysis , utilizing the ab initio laozi adaptive mesh refinement cosmological hydrodynamic simulation , to understand the statistical properties of star formation episodes in galaxies .
the reader is referred to @xcite for detailed descriptions of our simulations and the list of its empirical validations therein .
briefly , a zoom - in region of comoving size of @xmath13mpc@xmath14 is embedded in a @xmath15mpc periodic box and resolved to better than @xmath16pc ( physical ) .
we use the following cosmological parameters that are consistent with the wmap7-normalized @xcite @xmath17cdm model : @xmath18 , @xmath19 , @xmath20 , @xmath21 , @xmath22 and @xmath23 .
equations governing motions of dark matter , gas and stars , and thermodynamic state of gas are followed forward in time from redshift @xmath10 to @xmath24 , using the adaptive mesh refinement cosmological hydrodynamic code enzo @xcite , which includes all important microphysics and major feedback processes that are well measured .
stellar particles ( equivalent to coeval stellar cluster of mass @xmath25 ) are created from gas clouds meeting certain physical conditions over time , based on the empirical kennicutt - schmidt law @xcite .
stellar particles at any time may be grouped together spatially using the hop algorithm @xcite to create galaxy catalogs , which are tested to be robust and insensitive to specific choices of concerned parameters within reasonable ranges . for each galaxy
we have its exact star formation history , given its member stellar particles formation times . a total of ( 2090 , 965 , 296 , 94 , 32 , 10 ) galaxies are found with stellar masses greater than ( @xmath26 at @xmath27 .
for each galaxy we create an uniform time grid of star formation rate at a time resolution of @xmath28myr from redshift @xmath29 to @xmath24 , which we call the unsmoothed " sf history , denoted as @xmath30 .
we then smooth @xmath30 using a square window of full width equal to @xmath31 to create a locally - averaged version , denoted as @xmath32 , which is defined to be @xmath33 .
another variable is then defined from @xmath32 : @xmath34 .
we smooth @xmath35 with a gaussian window of radius @xmath36 to yield @xmath37 .
we obtain finally @xmath38 .
we identify sf peaks in @xmath39 as follows .
each sf peak is defined as a contiguous region between two consecutive local minima in @xmath39 , say , at time @xmath40 and @xmath41 .
we sum up @xmath30 in the same temporal region [ @xmath40 , @xmath41 ] to get the total stellar mass for the peak . for each galaxy ,
we catalog and rank order a complete list of peaks each containing the following information : the total stellar mass , the point in time of maximum sfr and the rank .
the number of top sf peaks that make up 50% and 90% of total amount of stellar mass of a galaxy at @xmath27 is denoted , @xmath43 and @xmath44 , respectively .
we note that the main purpose of smoothing @xmath35 with the gaussian window is to make the automated peak identification method umambiguous .
thus , it is @xmath45 that serves as a time ruler " .
we use @xmath46 and find the slope of the scaling relation found does not depend on @xmath47 within the concerned accuracies .
-0.3 cm -1.0 cm
-0.5 cm -1.0 cm we start by showing the star formation histories for four galaxies in figure [ fig : sfr ] . we see that our adaptive smoothing scheme appropriately retains major sf peaks but smooths out high - frequency peaks on scales smaller than the ruler size @xmath45 , exactly serving the purpose .
we also see that there are temporal structures from @xmath48myr to @xmath48gyr .
although it is difficult to quantify visually the nature of the temporal structures , there is a hint that a significant sf peak is often sandwiched by periods of diminished sf activities or less significant sf peaks .
it is evident that the histories of individual galaxies vary substantially with respect to both the trend on long time scales and fluctuations on short time scales .
anectodal evidence that is consistent with the global evolution of sfr density @xcite is that , for the galaxy population as a whole , the majority of galaxies are on a downward trend of sfr with increasing time ( decreasing redshift ) from @xmath49gyr ( corresponding to @xmath50 to @xmath28 ) .
it is seen that sf in galaxies is usually not monolithic .
a typical galaxy is found to have a polylithic temporal structure of star formation , consisting of a series of quasi - monoliths occurring in time in an apparently chaotic fashion .
not only is there no evidence that a typical galaxy forms most of its stars in a single burst , but also the sf history over any scale does not display a form that may be represented by any simple analytic functions ( such as an exponential ) .
a qualitatively similar appearance of oscillatory star formation rates are seen in @xcite , although detailed quantitative comparisons are not available at this time .
one take - away message is this : galaxy formation is a chaotic process and conclusions about the galaxy population as a whole based on an unrepresentative sample of galaxies should be taken cautiously .
another is that the often adopted simple temporal profiles for star formation ( such as exponential decay or delta function ) in interpreting observational results should be reconsidered .
we now turn to quantitative results .
figure [ fig : perc50 ] shows the pdfs of @xmath43 and @xmath44 with @xmath51myr .
we see that the number of peaking containing 50% of stellar mass ( @xmath43 ) falls in the range of @xmath52 peaks , whereas the number of peaks containing 90% of stellar mass ( @xmath44 ) displays a much broader range of @xmath53 .
we note that , had we restricted the galaxy stellar mass range to @xmath54 or @xmath55 , the results do not change significantly .
it is clear that there are large variations from galaxy to galaxy with respect to individual sf histories , as was already hinted in in figure [ fig : sfr ] . behind this chaos , however ,
collectively , an order is found , as will be shown in figure [ fig : slope ] .
-0.3 cm -0.8 cm figure [ fig : ntindiv ] shows @xmath43 ( red dots ) and @xmath44 ( blue squares ) as a function of temporal smoothing window @xmath45 for the four galaxies shown in figure [ fig : sfr ] .
we see that powerlaw fits - @xmath56 and @xmath57 - provide reasonable approximations .
collecting all galaxies with stellar masses greater than @xmath58 at @xmath27 the results are shown in figure [ fig : slope ] .
the top panel of figure [ fig : slope ] shows the pdf of @xmath59 ( red histogram ) and @xmath60 ( blue historgram ) .
we see that there are substantial variations among galaxies , which is expected .
the most significant point is that a typical galaxy has @xmath61 and @xmath62 around @xmath63 . in other words , the galaxy population , collectively taken as a whole , displays significant orderliness .
this point is re - enforced in the bottom panel of figure [ fig : slope ] , which is similar to figure [ fig : ntindiv ] . but
here , instead of showing powerlaw fits for individual galaxies , we compute the median of @xmath43 ( red dots ) and @xmath44 ( blue squares ) for all galaxies first as a function of @xmath45 and then show the fits to the medians .
it is intriguing that a slope about @xmath64 ( @xmath65 ) provides a quite good fit , where @xmath66 is often called the golden ratio .
-0.3 cm -0.8 cm
this paper is the third in the series on the origin of the hubble sequence " . utilizing _
ab initio _ * l*arge - scale * a*daptive - mesh - refinement * o*mniscient * z*oom-*i*n cosmological hydrodynamic simulations ( * laozi simulations * ) of the standard cold dark matter model , we undertake a unique study of the statistical properties of star formation episodes in galaxies .
we find a relation between the number of star formation ( sf ) peaks per unit time , @xmath0 , and the size of the temporal smoothing window function , @xmath1 , used to define the peaks : @xmath2 ( @xmath3 ) , valid over the range of @xmath67gyr .
it is expected that the findings do not significantly depend on precise cosmological parameters , since the responsible processes are mostly in the nonlinear regime , although it remains to be seen if the relation extends to below 10myr , where non - gravitational processes , including feedback processes , may introduce time scales of their own .
the implication is profound : galaxy formation is temporally fractal and displays a self - organization up to at least one gigayear , with a @xcite dimension equal to @xmath6 .
we attribute this temporal self - organization , tentatively , to interactions between galaxies that presumably trigger star formation peaks and are organized temporally in a way that is yet to be quantitatively understood .
qualitatively , the found results may be explained as follows .
one could envision that galaxies are normally ( at least at high redshift ) embedded in a gas reservoir , which is the potential fuel of star formation .
when there is a trigger , some of this gas is driven inward to fuel star formation .
the triggers are likely due to significant interactions between galaxies , such as major and minor mergers or close fly - bys of significant galaxies , or some torquing events , or some hydrodynamic events .
the triggers may be democratically distributed temporally in the sense that at a given time baseline a large trigger is not usually preceded or followed by another large trigger , but rather by small triggers .
one might even argue that in some rare cases , even if a large trigger does follow a preceding large one , a significant drawdown " of gas by the preceding sf peak may cause the second sf peak to be less powerful that it otherwise would .
such compensated behavior could give rise to the temporal structures seen .
were the triggers distributed randomly , then @xmath68 would be @xmath69 .
should the triggers be completely correlated ( i.e. , a delta function in time ) , then @xmath68 would be @xmath9 . since the triggering of sf peaks by galaxy interactions implies spatial correlations of galaxies , and given that galaxies are known to exhibit spatial fractals , such as the power - law galaxy two - point correlation function ( e.g. , * ? ? ?
* ) , our results are strongly indicative that galaxy formation may be governed by a fundamental joint spatio - temporal self - organization . understanding the origin of this self - organization may hold a key to understanding galaxy formation .
observational diagnostics to probe sf histories of galaxies with competitively good temporal resolution from a few myr to gyr , especially those that are applicable to a sufficient sample of galaxies , are highly wanted , in order to test the predictions made here .
in addition , with the development of this new line of inquiry , more accurate observational characterizations of galaxy clustering at high redshift at the peak of star formation will be useful . in spite of the apparent coincidence
, it would be premature to emphatically relate @xmath70 to the golden ratio .
nonetheless , the ubiquitous manifestations of the golden ratio in nature suggest that further investigations with higher statistical accuracies may be warranted .
could the galaxy formation be golden after all ?
i would like to thank claire lackner for providing the sql based merger tree construction software .
the analysis program yt @xcite is used to perform some of the analysis .
computing resources were in part provided by the nasa high- end computing ( hec ) program through the nasa advanced supercomputing ( nas ) division at ames research center .
this work is supported in part by grant nasa nnx11ai23 g . , e. , smith , k. m. , dunkley , j. , bennett , c. l. , gold , b. , hinshaw , g. , jarosik , n. , larson , d. , nolta , m. r. , page , l. , spergel , d. n. , halpern , m. , hill , r. s. , kogut , a. , limon , m. , meyer , s. s. , odegard , n. , tucker , g. s. , weiland , j. l. , wollack , e. , & wright , e. l. 2011 , , 192 , 18 , v. , white , s. d. m. , jenkins , a. , frenk , c. s. , yoshida , n. , gao , l. , navarro , j. , thacker , r. , croton , d. , helly , j. , peacock , j. a. , cole , s. , thomas , p. , couchman , h. , evrard , a. , colberg , j. , & pearce , f. 2005 , , 435 , 629 , bryan , g. l. , norman , m. l. , oshea , b. w. , abel , t. , wise , j. h. , turk , m. j. , reynolds , d. r. , collins , d. c. , wang , p. , skillman , s. w. , smith , b. , harkness , r. p. , bordner , j. , kim , j .- h . , kuhlen , m. , xu , h. , goldbaum , n. , hummels , c. , kritsuk , a. g. , tasker , e. , skory , s. , simpson , c. m. , hahn , o. , oishi , j. s. , so , g. c. , zhao , f. , cen , r. , & li , y. 2013 , arxiv e - prints , i. , weinberg , d. h. , zheng , z. , berlind , a. a. , frieman , j. a. , scoccimarro , r. , sheth , r. k. , blanton , m. r. , tegmark , m. , mo , h. j. , bahcall , n. a. , brinkmann , j. , burles , s. , csabai , i. , fukugita , m. , gunn , j. e. , lamb , d. q. , loveday , j. , lupton , r. h. , meiksin , a. , munn , j. a. , nichol , r. c. , schlegel , d. , schneider , d. p. , subbarao , m. , szalay , a. s. , uomoto , a. , york , d. g. , & sdss collaboration .
2004 , , 608 , 16 | arxiv |
Are there any compound lists searchable by elemental content?
As I say in the question, I am looking for lists of compounds that I can search based on elemental content. Essentially, I want to find candidate compounds for boron doping liquid scintillator, we have a few likely candidates already but we want to see the available chemical space and see if there are better/cheaper candidates. I want to avoid high electron densities, so essentially I want to find compounds that only have boron, carbon, and hydrogen. I will filter later for hazard/reactivity/flammability.
Does such a list / service exist? If not, is there a general list of compounds with their formulas that I could then parse with a python script or something?
After some more searching, followed by asking reddit, I got a few good suggestions.
[ChemSpider's](http://www.chemspider.com/) advanced search method allows you to, among other things, search for elements containing specific elements and lacking other elements.
Also, for large lists of compounds I can use python tools to extract the tables from the [CRC Handbook](http://www.hbcpnetbase.com/) pdfs and then, search that data.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Why is this equation true for a salt in acid?
I previously asked a [question](https://chemistry.stackexchange.com/questions/164977/how-can-i-calculate-ksp-without-initial-values) about a calculation (below)
>
> Calculate the molar solubility of $\ce{SrF2}$ in a solution buffered at pH = 2.00. ($K\_{a}$ for HF is $7.2 \times 10^{-4}$). The $K\_{sp}$ of $\ce{SrF2}$ is $K\_{sp} = 7.9 \times 10^{-10}$
>
>
>
The answers used the fact that:
$$\ce{[HF] + [F-] = 2[Sr^2+]}$$
But I don't understand this. I can understand why this is true in a pure water solution:
$$\ce{[F-] = 2[Sr^2+]}$$
This must be true because if $\ce{SrF2}$ dissolves, it must release $\ce{2F-}$ ions for every $\ce{Sr^{+2}}$ ion it releases. This makes sense.
But for the case where there is a HF buffer, I don't get why you add on the $\ce{[HF]}$. What I personally expect is that because the $\ce{HF}$ will undergo this equilibrium:
$$\ce{HF <=> H+ + F-}$$
then it will decrease the solubility of $\ce{SrF2}$ due to the $\ce{F-}$ being a common ion. But I really don't see how this translates to adding a $\ce{[HF]}$ onto the expression above.
It is an example for parallel reaction. The reactions taking place are $\ce{SrF2 <=> Sr^2+ +2F−}$ and $\ce{H+ +F− <=> HF}$. The $\ce{F−}$ ions formed from the first reaction reacts simultaneously with $\ce{H+}$ ions in the medium forming
$\ce{HF}$.
For your better understanding let us say that the second reaction is *freezed* for sometime. So $2[\ce{Sr^2+}]\_i = [\ce{F-}]\_i$. Now let us say that second reaction is *unfreezed*. So some quantity of fluoride ions gets converted to $\ce{HF}$. And from second reaction the lost amount of fluoride ions should be equal to the amount of $\ce{HF}$ formed. So $[\ce{F-}]\_i =[\ce{F-}]\_f + [\ce{HF}]$ and $[\ce{Sr^2+}]\_i =[\ce{Sr^2+}]\_f$. Here subscripts denote initial and final concentrations. So finally the relation between these concentrations is
$$2[\ce{Sr^2+}]=[\ce{F-}] + [\ce{HF}]$$
| stackexchange/chemistry |
conventionally both , introducer tool ( it ) and digital technique have been described to insert the proseal laryngeal mask airway ( plma ) in adults as well as in the paediatric population .
the smaller sizes of plma , i.e.1.5 , 2 and 2.5 , are devoid of the dorsal cuff that is present in size 3 onwards . despite the differences in the anatomy of different age groups ,
the same technique of insertion has been recommended by manufacturers for all sizes of plma.[13 ] some studies have reported a higher success rate of plma insertion in paediatric patients using non - conventional techniques.[36 ] moreover , only a single size it is available for all the paediatric sizes , and use of it involves additional cost . in response to a questionnaire given to all the 36 consultants in our department , we found that even though all of them were aware of the standard digital technique recommended by the manufacturer , most did not use it .
they favoured a non - conventional technique of holding the plma at midshaft position and gently slipping the device past the tongue and hard palate , continuously until resistance was felt [ figure 1 ] .
we hypothesized that the success rate of the device placement varies with the size and that an alternative technique may be equally effective in inserting the plma in children thus obviating the need for an additional tool .
this avoids inserting the fingers into the mouth and use of an additional aid for placement of the device . in this randomized controlled study , we compared the success rate of insertion and blood on the device on removal for sizes 1.5 , 2 and 2.5 of plma using an alternate digital technique with the conventional technique using the it .
these pictures demonstrate a non - conventional digital technique where the proseal laryngeal mask airway has been held at between thumb and finger mid - shaft position , with the head of the patient in neutral position . under direct vision
the device is slipped over the tongue without applying excessive force , while gently opening the mouth with left hand until a definite resistance was experienced
hospital ethics committee approval was obtained for prospective collection of data from 250 children of american society of anaesthesiologist physical status i and ii , age 6 months10 years , scheduled for elective infraumbilical surgery , over a period of 2 years from october 2006 to september 2008 .
after written informed consent from the parents for this randomized prospective study , the patients were randomized using computer - generated numbers for plma insertion , using either the it or d technique .
the numbers were kept in sealed opaque envelopes that were opened immediately prior to surgery by an anaesthesia consultant not involved in the study .
exclusion criteria included anticipated difficult airway , risk of regurgitation , morbid obesity and acute respiratory tract infection .
the insertion of plma was carried out by anaesthesiologists with an experience of more than 500 plma insertions .
all children were fasted for 46 h depending on their age and hospital guidelines and were premedicated with oral midazolam syrup 0.2 mg / kg , 1 h prior to surgery .
monitors included pulse oximeter , electrocardiography , non - invasive blood pressure , capnograph and temperature .
having achieved adequate depth as judged by jaw relaxation , a plma of appropriate size was selected in accordance to the manufacturer 's instructions for weight .
owing to the smaller average weight of patients in our country , we included sizes 1.5 , 2 and 2.5 only . in the it group
, the device manufacturer 's instructions were followed for using the it , whereas in the d group , the device was held between the thumb and the fingers at the mid - shaft position [ figure 1 ] , with the head of the patient in neutral position . under direct vision , the device was slipped over the tongue without applying excessive force , while gently opening the mouth with the left hand until a definite resistance was experienced .
for both the groups , the device was fixed in accordance to manufacturer 's instructions .
the plma cuff was inflated , and its pressure maintained thereafter at 60 cm h2o using a cuff pressure monitor ( mallinckrodt medical , athlone , ireland ) .
bilateral chest movements , square wave capnography and gel displacement test confirmed the plma position during manual ventilation . the gel displacement test was carried out by placing a blob of water - soluble jelly at the tip of the drain tube and noting its movement with gentle manual inflation of the reservoir bag .
more than three attempts to place the plma and/or inability to ventilate the patient after device placement were considered a failure . in both these scenarios ,
it was replaced with a tracheal tube ( tt ) , and these cases were excluded from the study .
a gastric tube was passed through the drain tube of the plma and its placement was confirmed by air injection and epigastric auscultation .
the gastric tube was left in situ and intermittently suctioned throughout the procedure . the oropharyngeal leak pressure ( opl )
was measured by closing the expiratory valve of the circle system at a fresh gas flow of 3 l / min and noting the airway pressure at which equilibrium was reached .
the presence of a gas leak was detected as an audible sound escaping from the mouth and bubbling of lubricant placed on the proximal end of the drain tube .
the position of the device in relation to the glottis was confirmed using a fibreoptic bronchoscope ( olympus lf-2 ) .
this was graded as fiberoptic grade ( fob ) : i vocal cords not visible , ii vocal cords and anterior epiglottis visible , iii vocal cords and posterior epiglottis visible and iv only vocal cords visible .
maintenance of anaesthesia was with sevoflurane in nitrous oxide and oxygen using pressure control ventilation without muscle relaxants , aiming for minimal alveolar concentration of at least 1.5 .
intra- and post - operative airway - related complications were documented , such as desaturation ( spo2 < 90% ) , bronchospasm , laryngospasm , airway obstruction or device malposition .
evidence of blood on removal of the plma was considered as a sign of oropharyngeal trauma and was documented .
statistical analysis was performed using two - tailed student 's t - test and chi square test .
based on previous studies on adults and children , sample size was calculated for a projected difference of 20% in success rate of insertion at first attempt between the groups .
it was calculated that a sample size of 125 in each group , with type 1 error of 0.05 , would give a power of 90%.[46 ] a bonferroni correction was used to account for multiple comparisons .
the primary outcome of the study was success rate at first attempt and blood on device , and the secondary outcomes were overall success rate , opl , gastric tube placements and cough .
statistical analysis was performed using two - tailed student 's t - test and chi square test .
p value of < 0.05 was considered statistically significant . based on previous studies on adults and children ,
sample size was calculated for a projected difference of 20% in success rate of insertion at first attempt between the groups .
it was calculated that a sample size of 125 in each group , with type 1 error of 0.05 , would give a power of 90%.[46 ] a bonferroni correction was used to account for multiple comparisons .
the primary outcome of the study was success rate at first attempt and blood on device , and the secondary outcomes were overall success rate , opl , gastric tube placements and cough .
the patient characteristics and device size - based distribution of plma did not differ between the two groups [ table 1 ] .
characteristics and size based distribution of pediatric patients randomized to proseal laryngeal mask airway insertion using either introducer tool or digital technique the other overall details of plma between the two groups as in table 2 show that the two groups did not differ in success rate , opl and the position of the device in relation to the glottis , as shown by fob grades .
the success rate of device placement was 100% for both groups , and a third attempt was not required in any patient [ table 2 ] .
comparative evaluation of introducer tool and digital techniques of insertion within both the it group and the d group , the success rate of insertion at first attempt was significantly higher for sizes 1.5 and 2 when compared with size 2.5 [ table 3 ] .
size based comparison of pediatric proseal laryngeal mask airway within introducer tool and digital groups the overall incidence of blood on the device did not differ between the groups [ 8/125 ( 11.8% ) and 10/125 ( 17.5% ) in it and d groups , respectively ] .
the incidence of blood on device was higher for plma 2.5 in both groups ; however , this reached statistical significance only in group d ( p=0.013 ) [ table 3 ] .
our study demonstrates that size 2.5 plma differs from sizes 1.5 and 2 and is associated with a lower success rate of insertion at first attempt and higher incidence of blood on the device .
the success rates of plma insertion have been shown to vary from 67 - 100% in different age groups and with different techniques.[3712 ] size - based analysis of paediatric sizes of plma for success rate and its comparative evaluation is lacking in most previous studies .
a recent study has shown that previous experience with adult plma is not a prerequisite for achieving a high success rate at inserting paediatric plma .
all insertions in this study were carried out by experienced anaesthesiologists.[24812 ] we found that sizes 1.5 and 2 of the plma had a significantly higher rate of success than size 2.5 , irrespective of use of the it . although the size 2.5 plma is similar to sizes 1.5 and 2 , it has been shown to have a lower success rate of insertion .
this could possibly be because of the higher degree of oropharyngeal impaction.[1316 ] the overall incidence of second attempt at insertion in our study was significantly higher for size 2.5 plma , which is in agreement with previous reports .
this might explain the higher incidence of pharyngeal trauma ( blood on device ) with size 2.5 plma with both techniques .
the opl with both techniques for all sizes is in agreement with previous studies.[21422 ] the 100% success rate of gastric tube placement in both groups rules out posterior folding of the mask in any patient .
there have been a few reports of unanticipated difficult airway in patients with lingual tonsils .
the higher incidence of adenoid and tonsillar hypertrophy in children between the ages of 2 and 10 years should be kept in mind while choosing this device .
this could account for a higher degree of failure on first attempt at insertion and blood on mask for size 2.5 plma with both the techniques .
the overall incidence of adverse events in our study was found to be comparable with previous studies .
the majority were seen in the form of blood on the mask , which is indicative of pharyngeal trauma .
it has been reported that the incidence of blood on mask can be significantly reduced by avoiding contact of the device with the palate and pharyngeal wall .
we observed that the incidence of trauma , which is otherwise higher with size 2.5 , is further increased when it is not used .
the incidence of pharyngolaryngeal morbidity in other studies has been variedly reported , but size - based comparisons are lacking . unlike the classical lma , the paediatric plma is not simply a scaled - down version of the adult counterpart .
the differences in anatomy of the paediatric airway and features of the plma , such as absence of dorsal cuff in size 1.5 , 2 and 2.5 and a relatively larger ventral cuff in comparison with classic lma , may require the anaesthesiologist to deal with them differently so as to minimize the number of attempts , the associated pharyngolaryngeal morbidity and any chances of airway obstruction .
our study had some limitations ; the incidence of sore throat could not be evaluated as many of our patients were in the pre - verbal age group , and the patients in whom we encountered difficult insertion were not subjected to direct laryngoscopy to ascertain the exact cause .
it may be beneficial to perform direct laryngoscopy prior to inserting size 2.5 plma to improve the success rate of insertion and possibly decrease the accompanying pharyngolaryngeal morbidity .
we conclude that size 2.5 plma is associated with a lower success rate and higher incidence of blood on device using both techniques .
insertion of plma sizes 1.5 and 2 by an alternative digital technique is comparable to the it in terms of success rate of insertion , blood on device and oropharyngeal leak pressure . | pubmed |
Stereo Isomerism - syn/anti
I was studying the types of stereo-isomerism E-Z, Cis-Trans and then I come across **syn-anti stereo-isomerism** this one is giving me a bit of fight in understanding, especially **where lone pairs are taken into consideration**.How do classify the molecules with lone pairs in consideration as syn and anti Please help me out here!
Use of the terms "syn" and "anti" to describe the geometry about double bonds is no longer encouraged, but you'll still come across it, particularly in older articles. Syn and anti are identical to Z(usammen) and E(ntgegen) and were often used to describe the geometry about carbon-nitrogen double bonds. In such cases, the lone pair of electrons is given the lowest priority and the sequence rule applied as usual. For example, in the following N-methyl imines, the imine on the left has the highest priority group attached to the carbon in the double bond (ethyl) on the same side as the highest priority group attached to the nitrogen in the double bond (the methyl has higher priority than the lone pair). Therefore the molecule is the syn isomer (but would now be called the Z isomer).
By the same reasoning, the molecule on the right is the anti of E isomer. Again, the key point is that the lone pair has a lower priority than any atom.
There is another use of the terms anti and syn that is prevalent among steroid chemists. While the relationships between rings A and B/ B and C are described as trans in tricycles **1** and **2**, the relationship between rings A and C in the former is anti while in the latter it is syn.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
In a 2D complex vector space, are there more than 3 orthonormal bases that are all "45 degrees" from each other?
If I understand correctly, if a quantum spin is measured/prepared in the $+x$ direction, then there is a .5 probability of subsequently measuring it in the $+y$ direction and .5 probability of measuring it in the $-y$ direction. This is because
$$| \langle y+|x+ \rangle| = | \langle y-|x+ \rangle| = 1/\sqrt{2},$$
i.e. the $y$ eigenstates are each at a "45 degree" angle to each of the $x$ eigenstates. By symmetry this is true for the $z$ vs $x$ case and the $z$ vs $y$ case also.
One can see this by choosing a basis where
$$|x+\rangle = [1, 0]^\*, |x-\rangle = [0, 1]^\*$$
$$|y+\rangle = [1/\sqrt{2}, 1/\sqrt{2}]^\*, |y-\rangle = [1/\sqrt{2}, -1/\sqrt{2}]^\*$$
$$|z+\rangle = [1/\sqrt{2}, -i/\sqrt{2}]^\*, |z-\rangle = [1/\sqrt{2}, i/\sqrt{2}]^\*$$
and computing the inner products to show each basis is orthonormal and is "rotated 45 degrees" from each of the others.
My question is: can one find a fourth orthonormal basis $\{|w+ \rangle, |w- \rangle\}$ that is itself 45 degrees from each of the other three? Intuitively it seems like there are too many constraints for this to be possible, but I'm having a hard time visualizing or calculating exactly why.
If this is indeed impossible, is there a deeper relationship between the 2D complex vector space in which spin is introduced in QM and the 3 dimensions of ordinary space? Is the 2D nature of QM spin states somehow derivable from the symmetry of space?
If we lived in $k$-dimensional ordinary physical space, what dimension complex vector space would QM spin states live in?
It is not possible to find a fourth set. Your question is related to the existence of [mutually unbiased bases](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutually_unbiased_bases). In your case, this problem is one of finding sets of pairs of states like $\vert x,\pm\rangle$ etc so that any overlap between elements in different sets satisfies
$$
\vert \langle y;\pm\vert x\pm\rangle\vert^2=\frac{1}{2} \qquad \hbox{etc.}
$$
In dimension 2 it is know there are only 3 sets and they are the ones you listed. They are eigenvectors of $\sigma\_x,\sigma\_y$ and $\sigma\_z$ respectively.
In dimension $k$, where $k$ is a prime or power of a prime, it is known that one can construct $k+1$ sets, where in each sets there are $k-1$ commuting operators, and the common eigenvectors of these $k-1$ commuting operators will be orthogonal and satisfy $\vert \langle \alpha,j\vert \beta,m\rangle \vert^2=1/k$, where $\alpha$ labels a set and $j$ an eigenvector in this set. For $k=2$, you have three sets each containing one operator:
$\{\sigma\_x\}, \{\sigma\_y\},\{\sigma\_z\}$.
If the dimension $k=p^n$ is a power of a prime, one must use the algebraic field extension of $\mathbb{Z}\_p$, but it is possible to find $k+1$ sets each containing $k-1$ vectors to satisfy the condition that the modulus squared of the overlap is $1/k$.
If $k$ is a composite number (like $6=2\times 3$), it is not known if one can find the complete collection of $k+1$ sets of $k-1$ vectors. In fact it is conjectured that one cannot, and extensive numerical work has been done in dimension $6$ (by Brierley and Weigert, see [this arXiv post](https://arxiv.org/abs/0901.4051)), since this is the lowest composite number.
MUB have applications in foundational physics, in quantum tomoagraphy, and in state reconstruction. They are also linked to Latin squares (see for instance [this arXiv post](https://arxiv.org/abs/1408.6742) or [this arXiv post](https://arxiv.org/abs/quant-ph/0407081); a GoogleScholar search returns more hits), which are themselves linked to algebraic field theory (not the fields as in E&M field, but fields in the [in the mathematical sense](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Field_(mathematics)#:%7E:text=In%20mathematics%2C%20a%20field%20is,many%20other%20areas%20of%20mathematics.)).
| stackexchange/physics |
spin transport in quantum point contacts ( qpcs ) with spin - orbit interaction ( soi ) attracts much interest because of non - trivial spin dynamics in a laterally confined electron system connected to electronic reservoirs .
the interest is stimulated also by direct observations of the spin - polarized electron current passing through the qpc in the presence of soi ( ref . ) and recent experiments in which spin - filtering properties of qpcs were successfully used to manipulate the electron spin in nonmagnetic systems based on two - dimensional electron gas in gaas .
@xcite .
a signature of qpcs is the conductance quantization staircase that occurs in the systems when electrons move ballistically through independent conducting channels ( transverse quantization subbands ) .
the conductance is well described by famous landauer formula @xcite @xmath0 where @xmath1 is the transmission coefficient for @xmath2th conducting channel not including spin . with decreasing the barrier height @xmath3 in the qpc
, the channels are successively opened giving rise to a steplike increase in the conductance @xmath4 .
this effect was observed in many experiments .
@xcite in the presence of soi the situation becomes much more complicated .
when passing through the qpc the electron flow acquires spin polarization , and therefore , spin conductance should be considered along with the charge conductance .
a rather general consideration of the charge and spin transport in two - terminal ballistic structures with soi is based on the scattering matrix formalism .
@xcite in this way landauer formulas for the charge and spin conductances were derived for a mesoscopic system coupled to electron reservoirs in which the soi vanishes .
@xcite since the two conductances are generated by unique scattering matrix , they should correlate @xcite .
the ascertainment of such a correlation is obviously very important for the investigation of the spin transport since it enables one to identify correctly the spin - polarization mechanism in experiments .
ref . demonstrated the correlations between the spin and charge conductances and their quantization for transport through a cylinder with the soi acting in a stripe .
in the case of qpcs the problem of the spin conductance quantization remains insufficiently investigated yet , though the qpcs are one of most important model systems in mesoscopic physics .
there is no unique opinion about specific features of the spin conductance , considered as a function of the barrier height or the fermi energy , and their relation to the charge conductance features .
moreover , the spin - polarization mechanism in qpcs is not well understood , though it is clear from recent works that two factors are important : intersubband transitions of electrons @xcite and the presence of transition regions where a laterally confined part of the qpc ( quasi - one - dimensional channel ) widens to the size of electron reservoirs of higher dimensionality @xcite .
particularly , unusual trajectories were revealed by silvestrov and mishchenko @xcite within the quasi - classical approach to exist in these regions .
eto et al .
@xcite suggested that intersubband transitions , owing to which the polarization arises , occur just in the outer side of the qpc adjoining to anode reservoir .
numerical evaluations of the spin polarization are quite optimistic .
they show that the polarization can exceed 50% ( refs ) , but the estimated polarization is very different depending on the specific models and parameters of the qpc used by different authors in their numerical calculations . there is a lack of theoretical studies of the spin conductance dependences of on geometric parameters of the qpc , as well as on the barrier height in the qpc
. numerous calculations of electron waveguides with step - like constrictions in the presence of the soi ( refs ) do not clarify these questions since the results they give are very complicated because of strong interference effect .
the present work aims to clarify the mechanism of spin polarization and find out characteristic features of the spin conductance within a realistic model of a qpc with soi , which would be consistent with experimental situation where the geometrical shape of the qpc is rather smooth .
we develop an analytical theory by considering the qpc as a saddle point in two - dimensional potential landscape .
this is a very reasonable model , which was successfully used @xcite to explain the conductance quantization steps in good agreement with the experiments . in this paper
we generalize this model by including the soi . in doing this
we suppose that the soi is localized in the vicinity of the qpc and is absent deep in the reservoirs .
this is a natural assumption in the case where the soi of the rashba type is created by gates forming the qpc .
moreover , in such a way the ambiguity of the spin current definition in systems with soi is avoided .
the spin current is calculated in the reservoirs where it is well defined .
@xcite to be specific we consider the spin current injected into the right reservoir when electrons driven by an applied voltage move from left to right . in addition , we restrict ourselves by the case where the soi is weak , more precisely , the characteristic energy of the soi is small compared with other characteristic energies ( such as the barrier height , the fermi energy and the intersubband energy ) . this assumption is well justified for the structures fabricated on the basis of such semiconductors as inas and gaas , which are used in present experiments with ballistic qpcs . in the frame of this model ,
the charge conductance practically coincides with the standard quantization staircase since the soi induced correction to eq .
( [ conductance ] ) is of the second order in the soi strength .
the spin current arises in the third order of the perturbation theory .
the spin conductance is determined by definite combinations of three matrix elements of electron transitions , two of which are intersubband transitions and one is intrasubband transition .
we take into account all possible transitions to find finally the spin conductance and analyze its dependence on the parameters of the saddle - point potential and the spatial distribution of the soi strength . in the case of the rashba soi ,
the spin current is polarized in the plane of the qpc normally to the particle current .
the spin conductance magnitude is found to depend strongly on the longitudinal and transverse lengths of the saddle - point potential landscape .
the spatial distribution of the soi strength affects the form of the function describing the dependence of the spin conductance on the barrier height .
a general feature of this function is the presence of a maximum and nearby inflection point , the position of which correlates with the charge conductance steps .
in addition , we show how this feature is distorted by the interference effect in the qpcs with sharp potential landscape .
consider a qpc as a constriction created by gates in two - dimensional electron gas .
we approximate the potential landscape by the function @xmath5 with a saddle point : @xmath6 where @xmath7 is the longitudinal coordinate , along which the current flows , @xmath8 is transverse coordinate , @xmath9 is effective mass of electrons .
this model potential is attractive because it admits an exact analytical solution and well simulates the qpcs studied in experiments .
suppose that the soi acts in a region of finite size in the vicinity of the qpc and is absent deep inside the electronic reservoirs .
when a small bias voltage @xmath10 is applied across the source and drain reservoirs , an unpolarized electron flow falls on the qpc from the left reservoir , acquires the spin polarization in the qpc and goes to the right reservoir . for the sake of simplicity
we consider the case where the soi strength depends only on the coordinate @xmath7 . in the case of the rashba soi ,
the soi hamiltonian reads : @xmath11 where @xmath12 and @xmath13 are electron momentum components , @xmath14 and @xmath15 are pauli matrices , @xmath16 is a function describing the strength of the rashba soi . in what follows
we assume that @xmath16 is an even function which goes to zero as @xmath17 .
the hamiltonian of the system is @xmath18 we find the eigenfunctions of @xmath19 by considering @xmath20 as a perturbation . the eigenfunctions @xmath21 are expressed via eigenfunctions of the unperturbed hamiltonian @xmath22 , which are well known in the literature .
@xcite the unperturbed eigenstates are the product of longitudinal , transverse and spin functions @xmath23 here @xmath24 is the transverse wave function @xmath25 with @xmath26 being the hermitian polynomial , @xmath27 being the characteristic width of the qpc .
the number @xmath28 defines the subband energies : @xmath29 @xmath30 is the longitudinal wave function : @xmath31^{ikl } \\ & \times { _ 2f_1}\left(a , b;c;\frac{1-r\tanh(x / l)}{2}\right ) \end{split}\ ] ] where @xmath32 stands for right- and left - moving waves incident on the qpc from the left and right reservoirs ; @xmath33 is the wave vector defined as a positive value ; @xmath34 is the gauss hyper - geometric function , with @xmath35 , @xmath36 , and @xmath37 being functions of @xmath33 @xmath38 @xmath39 is the spin eigenfunction of @xmath40 matrix with eigenvalue @xmath41 .
the energy eigenvalue is @xmath42 below we consider the spin current produced by an unpolarized electron flow incident on the qpc from the left reservoir with the energy at the fermi level .
unperturbed wave functions of these electrons @xmath43 behave asymptotically at @xmath44 as @xmath45 where @xmath46 @xmath47 is the transmission coefficient @xmath48\gamma[b(k_n)]}{\gamma[c(k_n)]\gamma[a(k_n)+b(k_n)-c(k_n)]}\,.\ ] ] perturbed wave functions @xmath49 are calculated up to the third order in the soi strength , since the spin current appears in the third order of the perturbation theory .
we do not write out the total wave function and restrict ourselves by its asymptotic expression at @xmath50 , which is only needed to calculate the spin current generated in the qpc . the wave function of right - moving electrons is presented via the transmission matrix @xmath51 @xmath52 the transmission matrix components have the following form : @xmath53\!\delta_{s_1s}\ !
+ \!\frac{im^*}{\hbar^2k_{n_1}}\left[\!s\!\left(g^{(1)}_{n_1n}\!+\!g^{(3)}_{n_1n}\!+\!\cdots\!\right)\!+\!h^{(1)}_{n_1n}\!+\!h^{(3)}_{n_1n}\!+\!\cdots\!\right]\!\delta_{s_1\bar{s}}\!\right\ } , % \end{split } \label{trasmis_matrix}\ ] ] where @xmath54 , @xmath55 @xmath56\,,\ ] ] @xmath57 @xmath58[e-\varepsilon_n(k_2)+i0]}\\ & -\sum\limits_{m_1}f_{mm_1}f_{m_1n}\sum\limits_{r_1r_2}^{\pm}\iint\frac{dk_1dk_2}{(2\pi)^2}\left\{\frac{f^y_{+k_m , r_1k_1 } f^y_{r_1k_1,r_2k_2 } f^x_{r_2k_2,+k_n}}{[e-\varepsilon_{m_1}(k_1)+i0][e-\varepsilon_{n}(k_2)+i0 ] } \right.\\ & \left.+\frac{f^x_{+k_m , r_1k_1 } f^y_{r_1k_1,r_2k_2 } f^y_{r_2k_2,+k_n}}{[e-\varepsilon_{m}(k_1)+i0][e-\varepsilon_{m_1}(k_2)+i0]}-\frac{f^y_{+k_m , r_1k_1 } f^x_{r_1k_1,r_2k_2 } f^y_{r_2k_2,+k_n}}{[e-\varepsilon_{m_1}(k_1)+i0][e-\varepsilon_{m_1}(k_2)+i0]}\right\ } , \end{split}\ ] ] @xmath59[e\!-\!\varepsilon_m(k_2)\!+\!i0]}-\frac{f^x_{+k_m , r_1k_1}f^y_{r_1k_1,r_2k_2}f^x_{r_2k_2,+k_n}}{[e\!-\!\varepsilon_m(k_1)\!+\!i0][e\!-\!\varepsilon_n(k_2)\!+\!i0]}\right.\\ & \left.+\frac{f^y_{+k_m , r_1k_1}f^x_{r_1k_1,r_2k_2}f^x_{r_2k_2,+k_n}}{[e\!-\!\varepsilon_n(k_1)\!+\!i0][e\!-\!\varepsilon_n(k_2)\!+\!i0]}\right]\!-i\!\!\sum\limits_{m_1m_2}\!f_{mm_1}f_{m_1m_2}f_{m_2n}\sum\limits_{r_1r_2}^{\pm } \iint\!\frac{dk_1dk_2}{(2\pi)^2}\frac{f^y_{+k_m , r_1k_1}f^y_{r_1k_1,r_2k_2 } f^y_{r_2k_2,+k_n}}{[e\!-\!\varepsilon_{m_1}(k_1)\!+\!i0][e\!-\!\varepsilon_{m_2}(k_2)\!+\!i0]}. \end{split}\ ] ] here @xmath60 and @xmath61 are longitudinal and transverse components of the matrix element of the soi hamiltonian @xmath62 @xmath63 @xmath64 @xmath60 and @xmath61 satisfy the following symmetry relations:@xmath65 @xmath66 specifically in the case of the parabolic confining potential in @xmath8 direction , @xmath61 matrix simplifies to @xmath67 the transmission matrix @xmath51 defined by eq .
( [ trasmis_matrix ] ) satisfies the symmetry relations following from the time - reversal symmetry and the invariance with respect to @xmath7 and @xmath8 inversion .
the spin current is generated in the qpc by right - moving states in the energy layer @xmath68 , where @xmath10 is an applied voltage .
the spin current in the right reservoir is defined as follows : @xmath69 where @xmath70 is the density of states in @xmath2-th subband , @xmath71 is the velocity , @xmath72 denotes the spin projections .
the spin current has only one nonzero component @xmath73 polarized in @xmath8 direction that is expressed in terms of the @xmath51 matrix , @xcite @xmath74 the spin polarization is defined by the ratio of the spin current to the particle current @xmath75 @xmath76 using explicit expressions for the transmission matrix [ eq .
( [ trasmis_matrix ] ) ] and the symmetry relations [ eqs ( [ fxy_symmetry ] ) and ( [ fmn_symmetry ] ) ] one finds the spin current [ eq . ( [ spin_current_1 ] ) ] in the form @xmath77 where @xmath78 is the partial spin current generated by electrons incident on the qpc in @xmath2th subband @xmath79 @xmath80 \ , , \end{split } \label{d_matrix}\ ] ] @xmath81}{q^2_n - q^2}\ , , \label{a_matrix}\ ] ] @xmath82}{q^2_n - q^2}\ , , \label{b_matrix}\ ] ] @xmath83 , \label{c_matrix}\ ] ] where @xmath84 denotes the cauchy principal value . here
we have gone to dimensionless ( marked by tilde ) variables by introducing : @xmath85 for the wave vector , @xmath86 for transverse components of the matrix elements .
the function describing the spatial distribution of soi is normalized by the amplitude of the soi strength @xmath87 @xmath88 with @xmath89 being a characteristic length .
the dimensionless components of the longitudinal matrix elements are @xmath90 if the confinement potential is parabolic [ eq .
( [ potential_landscape ] ) ] , the intersubband transitions are possible only for @xmath91 , according to eq .
( [ fmn_parabolic ] ) . in this case , eq .
( [ spin_current_2 ] ) for the spin current reduces to @xmath92 . \label{spin_current_n}\ ] ] equations ( [ spin_current_3 ] ) and ( [ d_matrix ] ) show that the spin current appears in the third order of the perturbation theory and is determined by the product of three matrix elements two of which represent intersubband transitions , and one matrix element corresponds to an intrasubband transition .
these transitions include processes of both forward- and back - scattering with the change in the longitudinal wave vector .
the analysis of matrix elements @xmath93 [ eqs ( [ f_matrix ] ) ] shows that they all are large only when @xmath94 and @xmath95 are close to each other . the decrease in @xmath96 with the difference @xmath97
is determined by the function @xmath98 .
this is why the spin current is affected by the spatial distribution of the soi strength .
this effect is characterized by the parameter @xmath99 .
the expression for the spin current contains the factor @xmath100 which largely determines the magnitude of the spin conductance .
it is the product of two parameters .
one parameter @xmath101 is equal to @xmath102 , with @xmath103 being the characteristic wave vector of the soi .
this parameter should not be necessarily small , since the perturbation theory requires only the characteristic energy of the soi ( @xmath104 ) to be smaller than the kinetic energy , which is on the order of the fermi energy @xmath105 and intersubband energy @xmath106 .
another parameter , @xmath107 , has the meaning of the ratio of the length of a `` quantum wire '' formed in the qpc to its width .
this is a large value for the qpcs , in which the charge conductance quantization is well pronounced .
@xcite thus , the factor @xmath108 can be large .
thus , the spin conductance is @xmath109 \,,\ ] ] where @xmath110 $ ] is the normalized spin conductance that depends on the spatial distribution of the soi strength . in the case of the parabolic confinement potential , the spin current [ eq .
( [ spin_current_n ] ) ] produced by incident electrons of @xmath2th subband contains only two components , which correspond to the transitions through the qpc via the nearest upper and lower subbands .
the particle current @xmath75 and the charge conductance @xmath4 are easily calculated in the same way as above resulting in the following expression for @xmath4 : @xmath111 where @xmath112 is the transmission coefficient modified by the soi : @xmath113 \!\right\}. \label{eff_transmittance}\ ] ] equation ( [ eff_transmittance ] ) shows that the soi modifies the conductance in the second order of its strength . here , the first term in the braces describes the transmittance decrease due to intrasubband backscattering .
the second term containing the large factor @xmath114 corresponds to the intersubband scattering processes .
straightforward calculations of the spin conductance were carried out for the spatial distribution of the soi strength in the form @xmath115\ ] ] with using eqs ( [ spin_current_n ] ) and ( [ d_matrix ] ) .
the results are presented in fig .
[ saddle_gen ] for practically most interesting case where @xmath89 is close to @xmath116 . here and in the following figures , the energy is normalized to @xmath117 .
figure [ saddle_gen ] shows both the total spin conductance and the partial spin conductances defined via the spin currents @xmath118 produced by electrons incident on the qpc in @xmath2th subband .
th subband ( thin lines ) .
( b ) the spin polarization ( full line ) and the charge conductance ( dashed line ) .
the parameters used in calculations are : @xmath119 ; @xmath120 ; @xmath121 . ]
consider what happens when the potential barrier @xmath3 is lowered from a large value , under which the qpc is pinched - off . when the zeroth subband ( @xmath122 ) begins to open
, the spin current arises with some delay after the electron current appears .
this is because the spin current is generated by incident electrons of zeroth subband owing to their transitions to the upper ( @xmath123 ) subband , which opens later .
transitions to the lower subband are absent in this case . with further lowering the barrier , the partial spin current @xmath124 increases .
electrons incident on the qpc in the first subband begin to penetrate through the barrier when @xmath3 is close to the second step of the charge conductance quantization .
but in contrast to the zeroth subband case , the electron transitions to the lower ( @xmath122 ) subband are now possible and moreover , they are more effective than the transitions to the upper subband , because this subband is closed yet . transitions to the lower subband are seen to generate the spin polarization of opposed sign .
therefore , the partial spin current @xmath125 is negative from the beginning and increases in magnitude until the transitions to the upper subband become more intense . further lowering the barrier leads to decreasing the modulus of @xmath125 , changing the sign and finally results in an increase in @xmath125 .
spin currents produced by electrons of other upper subbands ( @xmath126 ) behave similarly with changing @xmath3 .
the total spin current increases non - monotonically as the barrier is lowered , so that the graph of the function @xmath127 resembles an inclined sawtooth - like line .
the characteristic feature of this curve is a sequence of maxima and nearby inflection points located close to the positions of the charge conductance quantization steps . @xcite the spin polarization defined by eq .
( [ polarization ] ) demonstrates a similar behavior with varying @xmath3 , but the extrema are much more pronounced . to clarify how the results are changed with the size of the region , where the soi is localized , and the barrier form we consider below two limiting cases : ( i ) the soi is strongly localized within the qpc , and ( ii ) the form of the potential barrier of the qpc is sharp .
suppose that the characteristic length @xmath89 of the region , where the soi acts , is much shorter than the qpc length @xmath116 . in this case , the spin current is expressed via the longitudinal wave function and its derivative in the center of the qpc @xmath128 where @xmath129_{\xi=0}.\ ] ] the matrix elements @xmath60 are simplified to @xmath130 where @xmath131 .
expressions ( [ a_matrix ] ) , ( [ b_matrix ] ) , and ( [ c_matrix ] ) for matrices @xmath132 , @xmath133 , and @xmath134 are simplified to @xmath135 @xmath136 where @xmath137 is an important function appearing from the integration over the wave vector @xmath138 finally the @xmath139 matrix takes the form @xmath140 .
\end{split } \label{dmn_local}\ ] ] equation ( [ dmn_local ] ) together with eqs ( [ spin_current_2 ] ) and ( [ spin_current_3 ] ) give the spin conductance as a function of the barrier height and the fermi energy . in the case of parabolic confining potential ,
the spin conductance is expressed through the matrix elements for nearest subband transitions @xmath141 according to eq .
( [ spin_current_n ] ) . in fig .
[ saddle_local ] we present the spin conductance and spin polarization calculated for the same saddle - point potential as used in fig . [ saddle_gen ] , where the soi is distributed over wide region .
the only difference is that the soi is strongly localized in the center of the qpc .
the spin polarization and spin conductance are seen to behave generally in the same manner in both cases . however , in the case of the localized soi the peaks are much more sharp . . ]
this fact can be understood taking into account that in this case the spin conductance depends only on the local value of the wave function amplitude in the center of the qpc @xmath142 , in contrast to the case of distributed soi , where the wave function is integrated over the length on the order of @xmath89 .
therefore , in order to clarify the nature of the spin - conductance peaks it is needed to know how the wave function in the center of the qpc changes with the barrier height . the answer to this question contains in fig .
[ wave_func_saddle ] .
the wave function has a quite sharp peak which is reached when the barrier height is close to the electron energy .
the peak is interpreted as follows .
the wave function increases with lowering the barrier since the tunneling probability increases , until @xmath143 .
but as @xmath144 , the wave function decreases because the electron velocity grows .
the function @xmath145 also has a peak .
the maxima of both functions are seen to be located practically at the same positions as the spin conductance peaks . and ( b ) the functions @xmath146 versus the barrier height for subbands @xmath147 .
the parameters used in the calculations are the same as in fig .
[ saddle_gen ] . ]
the above explanation allows one to suppose that the spin polarization peaks in fig .
[ saddle_gen ] ( the case of @xmath148 ) has the same nature
. the smoother shape of the peaks here is caused by the fact that in this case the spin conductance is determined by an integral of @xmath149 over the region , where the soi is localized . in this section
we consider a qpc with sharp potential landscape to study how the multiple reflections of electron waves and the interference distort the spin conductance and its dependence on the barrier height .
let the barrier be rectangular : @xmath150+\frac{m^*\omega_y^2y^2}{2}\,,\ ] ] and the spatial distribution of the soi strength be exponential : @xmath151 in this case , the longitudinal wave functions are simply combinations of exponential functions , and all integrals in eqs ( [ f_matrix ] ) , ( [ a_matrix ] ) , ( [ b_matrix ] ) , and ( [ c_matrix ] ) are calculated in elementary functions .
final results are illustrated in figs [ rectangular_1 ] and [ rectangular_2 ] for different lengths of the soi region . ;
@xmath120 ; @xmath152 . ] ) and weak localization ( @xmath153 ) .
other parameters are as in fig .
[ rectangular_1 ] . ]
figure [ rectangular_1 ] shows the spin conductance and the spin polarization as functions of the barrier height @xmath3 for the case where @xmath152 .
the charge conductance is also plotted here .
it makes sense to compare these graphs with those of fig .
[ saddle_gen ] since all parameters used in their calculations have been chosen the same , with the exception of the barrier form : the longitudinal barrier is rectangular rather than smooth [ of @xmath154 form ] .
the interference of reflected waves is seen to strongly distort the charge conductance plateaus .
similarly , the graphs of the spin conductance and spin polarization are also defaced and only a general trend of the curves ( i.e. , a shape after some averaging of the interference pattern ) resembles that of corresponding curves in the case of the smooth qpc . if the soi strength is strongly localized within the qpc , the interference impact on the spin polarization becomes not such destructive .
figure [ rectangular_2 ] shows that when @xmath155 , the spin - polarization curve much more resembles the corresponding graph for the saddle - point qpc , fig .
[ saddle_local ] . on the contrary ,
if the soi acts in the wide region ( @xmath153 ) the interference effect enhances .
the spin polarization strongly oscillates with @xmath3 and even changes the sign under certain conditions .
such a behavior is obviously caused by complex spin dynamics occurring under the conditions of the multiple reflectance and interference .
we have studied the spin current in qpcs with soi using the model that considers the qpc as a saddle point of two - dimensional potential landscape with the soi localized in a finite region .
this approach has allowed us to avoid the complicated spin dynamics caused by multiple reflections and interference of electron waves and to study the spin - polarization mechanism associated with electron transitions in qpcs . within this model
we have found out quite general features of the spin conductance quantization correlated with the well - known staircase of the charge conductance .
it is shown that the spin polarization arises as a result of intersubband and intrasubband electron transitions .
we have taken into account all possible transitions , not only those which were discussed by eto et al .
@xcite it turns out that of most efficiency are definite combinations of three transitions : two intersubband transitions ( one transition from a given subband to the nearest subband and a backward transition ) and one intrasubband transition .
we clarify that transitions via the upper and lower subbands produce the spin polarization of opposed signs . more specifically , the electron transitions to the upper subband and
the following backward transitions give rise to a positive polarization , whereas transitions via the lower subband produce a negative polarization . within the perturbation theory , the spin polarization has a cubic dependence on the soi strength .
this result can be interpreted as follows .
it is obvious that the polarization should be an odd function of the soi strength , however , the first - order correction in the soi is not enough to create spin polarization .
in fact , the first - order correction to an incoming wave function @xmath156 is the sum of functions @xmath157 .
since the transverse wave functions @xmath158 and @xmath159 of different subbands are orthogonal , the first - order correction to the spin density and the spin current could be nonzero only when @xmath160 , i.e. , in the case when electrons remain in the same subband after the scattering .
however , it is well known that an electron flow passing through a soi region within one subband does not acquire any spin polarization .
@xcite the point is that , though the electrons acquire a spin polarization when enter into the soi region , they lose it completely after the exit .
therefore , only the third - order correction to the spin current can be nonzero .
this our conclusion agrees with the cubic dependence of the spin polarization on the rashba coupling strength reported in ref . for uniform multimode quantum wire .
the spin current magnitude is determined by two factors .
one factor is connected with the geometrical sizes of the saddle - point potential and the characteristic wave vector of soi : @xmath161 .
it allows one to roughly estimate the dependence of the spin conductance on @xmath116 and @xmath162 .
other factor is connected with the shape of the spatial distribution of the soi strength and the form of the potential barrier in the qpc .
it is this factor that determines the dependence of the spin polarization and spin conductance on the barrier height .
note , that in the presence of the soi , the dependences of the spin conductance on barrier height @xmath3 and the fermi energy @xmath105 are qualitatively different , in contrast to the case without the soi , where they are similar .
the general feature of the spin polarization as a function of @xmath3 is the presence of peaks and nearby inflection points located close to the charge conductance quantization steps .
we argue that these peaks originate from the presence of the sharp maximum that the wave - function amplitude reaches in the qpc when the barrier height is varied . in the case where the potential landscape of the qpc is sharp
, the interference of electron waves distorts this feature of the spin conductance as well as the form of the quantization plateaus of the charge conductance .
the studies presented in this paper were carried out with using the approximations which restricted the applicability of the results in the following points .
\(i ) the perturbation theory imposes a restriction on the soi strength .
in general form this restriction in rather complicated because perturbing hamiltonian contains both @xmath163 and @xmath164 .
however , in the practically interesting case where the transmission coefficient in a given subband is not too small , the following rough estimation is obtained @xmath165 where @xmath166 , @xmath106 is the transverse quantization energy , @xmath167 is characteristic wave vector of electrons in the qpq . the inequality [ eq .
( [ restrict ] ) ] is obtained for @xmath168 . under realistic conditions of experiments ,
@xmath169 , @xmath170 . with using the soi parameter @xmath87 for inas and gaas
, one sees that the restriction [ eq . ( [ restrict ] ) ] is well satisfied .
\(ii ) the conclusions about spin current dependences on the soi strength and the barrier height @xmath3 pertain to the case where the variables @xmath7 and @xmath8 are separated in the unperturbed hamiltonian , particularly to the case of the adiabatic separation of variables .
@xcite if variables are not separated , the effect of spin polarization can appear in the first approximation in the soi strength , but the spin current depends on the nonadiabaticity parameter .
note that in this case the subbands are mixed even in the unperturbed state and therefore the conductance quantization plateaus are destroyed .
the question of the spin polarization requires a separate study which will be published elsewhere .
\(iii ) important restriction consists also in ignoring the electron - electron interaction which is very essential at low density of electrons . in qpcs
the electron - electron interaction is known to produce a strong change in the electron structure of the ground state and the electron transport in the regime where the conductance is lower than @xmath171 and transport anomalies are observed , such as `` 0.7 feature '' and zero - bias anomaly .
@xcite their nature is not clarified to date , but the most probable origin is the appearance of a spin - polarized electron state . though our consideration is not applicable to this regime , one can expect that the soi can give rise to a strong effect under such conditions .
this work was supported by russian foundation for basic research ( project no . 08 - 02 - 00777 ) and russian academy of sciences ( program no .
27 `` basic researches in nanotechnology and nanomaterials '' and program `` strongly correlated electrons in solids and structures '' ) .
wharam , t.j .
thornton , r. newbury , m. pepper , h. ahmed , j.e.f . frost , d.g .
hasko , d.c . peacock , d.a . ritchie , and g.a.c .
jones , j. phys .
c * 21 * , l209 ( 1988 ) ; b.j .
van wees , h. van houten , c.w.j .
beenakker , j.g .
williamson , l.p .
kouwenhoven , d. van der marel , and c.t .
foxon , phys .
* 60 * , 848 ( 1988 ) .
the assumption that the soi vanishes in the reservoirs is widely used in the literature to find the spin polarization acquired by an electron current flowing through a mesoscopic system with soi .
it is enough to refer to above refs . | arxiv |
Ashapura Gomat railway station is a railway station in Jaisalmer district, Rajasthan. Its code is AQG. It serves Gomat. The station consists of 3 platforms. Passenger, Express, and Superfast trains halt here.
Trains
The following trains halt at Ashapura Gomat in both directions:
Leelan Express
Ranikhet Express
Corbett Park Link Express
Jaisalmer - Jodhpur Express
Runicha Express
Jaisalmer - Lalgarh Express
References
Category:Railway stations in Jaisalmer district
Category:Jodhpur railway division | wikipedia |
Mass Effect 1. Sweet Dreams Are Made of These
Commander Elissa Shepard awoke with a jolt, flashes of what had transpired several months ago were still before her eyes, even the breath she had taken during her dreams was still in her lungs. She exhaled slowly after realizing that she had been breathing the entire night much to her relief but her sudden jump from laying down to sitting up in bed had awoken her bedmate, Major Kaidan Alenko. Yawning, he stretched some and then sat up next to his love, wrapping his strong arm around her shoulders in an effort to try and comfort her since he knew what she had been dreaming about.
"You had the dream again," said Kaidan, pulling her closer to his chest, "you know you can tell me, Ella."
_Ella_, his pet name for her since they had shared their true feelings for each other those so many years ago on the _Normandy_, and hearing him say that still sent chills down her spine.
"It was right after I destroyed the Reapers," started Elissa, putting her knees up and resting her head on her hand, "the few minutes I spent between life and death, cold and afraid that I wouldn't wake up. I can still feel what it was like to not breathe, Kaidan. . . ."
Kaidan now had her between his legs with her back against his chest and both of his arms were wrapped around her body, his grip tightening when she started to talk about how close she had been to dying again. The thought of losing her again had been his motivation to get through the final battle against the Reapers and when he had found her lying in that pile of rubble, barely breathing, even now he could feel that rush of anxiety coursing through his veins.
"Hey, hey, there's no need to think about that anymore," said Kaidan, kissing the nape of her neck, "you're still here, alive and breathing, my favorite kind of Ella."
Elissa smiled, he was still the same old Kaidan whom she had loved since she first started on the _Normandy_ and saw him sitting in the co-pilot's chair next to Joker, "I love you, Kaidan."
"I love you too, Ella," replied Kaidan, his tone bittersweet, "I never thought we'd still be here to say that."
"Thank God," said Elissa, absentmindedly stroking Kaidan's morning stubble, "I'm glad so many of us were able to make it through."
"Not that I don't like our comrades," said Kaidan, "but I would've rather seen any one of them go in to that hellhole than to have watched you run in that direction."
"Since we're both up, do you wanna start on breakfast?" said Elissa, trying to change the subject quickly, "I'll make the French toast."
"You always did know how to motivate, Commander," laughed Kaidan, kissing Elissa's cheek.
They got up and went downstairs to their kitchen, Kaidan trying the entire time to snap Elissa's bra but she was able to out maneuver him at each turn. When they did arrive at the kitchen, Kaidan went to the fruit bowl on the island and pulled out several large oranges along with a kitchen knife from the drawer beneath the island. He sliced each one in half and put the halves on the new juicer and had fresh orange juice flowing into their glasses in just a few minutes while Elissa prepared the French toast and crispy bacon. After Kaidan had set the glasses on a tray, he went over to the refrigerator, grabbed a few eggs and the chorizo to make a decent pile of scrambled eggs to go along with the French toast.
"Toast is about to be done," said Elissa, flipping the last piece onto the pile and reaching for the powdered sugar to finish off the toast. Kaidan came over and took the plate of bacon and French toast, he then placed them on the tray next to the scrambled eggs and juice, Elissa grabbed some plates along with silverware. Kaidan picked up the tray and Elissa opened up the door to the balcony and he placed the tray on the table, Elissa set the table and they sat there eating breakfast watching the sun rise over the mist from the lake and trees in the orchard. Since they had moved to Vancouver and the Alenko orchard, this had been Elissa's favorite part, watching the sun rise over grass and leaves instead of seeing endless amounts of stars when she first woke up.
"So, who are we expecting to see today?" asked Kaidan between mouthfuls of French toast.
"Tali and Liara were going to come over to shop and later tonight Garrus was going to stop by with Joker and EDI, maybe some others will show up." said Elissa, sipping her orange juice afterwards, thinking about her friends and how much they meant to her in the grand scheme of life.
"Joker and EDI," chuckled Kaidan, bringing her from her thoughts, "wonder when their kids will be synthesized?"
"Joker said as soon as the clinic opens up here," replied Elissa smiling. Since the battle with the Reapers, most everyone had moved here to Vancouver since it was still the most held together city on Earth despite the first attacks, though most still traveled off world to work but all came back to Earth. Elissa had told them there was no need to live on Earth but they had all insisted on staying, since none of them could imagine living away from their commander after the hell they had all been through. Somehow that war had made them all closer, turning them from friends and shipmates into a very close-knit family, even the ones that had decided to return to their home worlds like Wrex and Grunt still visited once every couple of weeks. The others Garrus, Tali, Liara, Joker, EDI and a few more had all bought houses less than five miles away from the Alenko orchard much to the delight of Elissa and Kaidan.
"So, should we tell them?" asked Kaidan cautiously.
"About what?" asked Elissa, still staring off at the orchard.
"About our engagement," replied Kaidan, slipping a blue velvet box from underneath the table and opening it on the table. Elissa looked up in shock only to see a gorgeous aquamarine colored diamond set in yellow gold ring and she could not say anything, instead she nodded several times slowly.
"So you are agreeing to be my wife?" asked Kaidan, taking the ring from the box and slipping it onto Elissa's trembling ring finger. "Looks even more beautiful on you than when it was in the box."
Elissa still could not say anything, all of her grand speeches and pep-talks, and she could not even muster a simple 'Yes' to the most important question in her life from the most special person in her world. The ring caught the morning light, glistening like a million stars, taking her breath away for the second time and Kaidan laughed at her speechlessness.
"I don't think I've ever seen you lost for words, Ella," chuckled Kaidan, taking his fiancee's hand in his. "I think I should ask you properly, since we are all about protocol. Elissa Jacqueline Shepard, for several years now I have been hopelessly in love with you, and after nearly losing you twice now I have realized that I cannot live without you ever again. Will you marry me?"
Elissa had tears shining in her eyes and a huge smile on her face, with a steady and able voice, she clearly answered, "Yes, of course I will marry you, Kaidan."
Kaidan nearly leapt from the table to kiss his fiancee, she jumped and met his embrace eagerly, only he did not kiss her right away instead he held her in his arms just looking at the face of the woman he loved. Despite a few lingering scars that were fading away, she was flawless, her bright green eyes looked up at him with such love and devotion that he almost had to look away. Remembering the regrets he had mentioned a few months ago, her love almost shamed him, she had been one of his regrets: he regretted not being there with her the entire time, even when she had been a lifeless shell after the crash, he had wished everyday that he had been there to see her through those hard times. She had kept it together when he had bombarded her at Horizon and beyond that, she even held on at the end of the Reaper battle when she was buried underneath that pile of rubble. During surgery the doctors had commented on how well her body was responding to their work even though she had to be put in a medically induced coma afterwards. When she had finally awakened, he was there with Joker, watching as her green eyes fluttered open and immediately she wanted him to hold her despite the pain. Now he had her in his arms once more, only she was standing there with his ring on her finger, he was determined to not ever let her go again.
"Kaidan," whispered Elissa, gently caressing his cheek, "I love you."
"I love you too, Ella." whispered Kaidan back and kissed her passionately.
2. Lead a Normal Life
Elissa had cleared off the outside table while Kaidan was upstairs changing into his civilian clothes, when he came downstairs Elissa thought he was as sexy as ever, he was wearing a white tank-top and a pair of ripped up jeans with a fraying brown leather belt holding them around his waist, not to mention he was standing in a beat up pair of sneakers. She leaned against the kitchen sink and admired the man who was to be her husband, although she had seen him out of uniform before he looked different now, much less of a soldier and more of who Kaidan really was. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and sauntered over to where Elissa was standing, wrapping his free arm around her very exposed waist, planting a kiss on her cheek.
"I'm gonna start on the yard work today," said Kaidan, "the orchard is in a terrible state and I feel bad that it has been neglected for so long. Care to join me?"
"You know I would, baby, but there is still some unpacking to do here." replied Elissa, kissing Kaidan's neck while wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "Not only that, but Tali and Liara will be here to go through the crap we don't want and get rid of it, then we're going shopping for more things for the house."
"Please, please, please don't spend more than our budget, I know how Liara gets about giving you the high life." begged Kaidan, a joking tone in his voice as he released his love.
"She's a good friend and wants everyone to share in the life she has," said Elissa, "anyway, I have a set limit at the store, they'll make sure we don't exceed the budget."
"Glad to see you're thinking ahead, I'll be back before dark," said Kaidan, giving his Ella one last kiss before heading outside to get started on repairing the grounds he had grown up on as a child.
Elissa sighed, it had been a long few months, this was the first period of normalcy that either of them had had since first signing on to the _Normandy_ and she hoped that this relaxing time would last longer than the few months Kaidan had off before heading back to the Citadel. She was still on leave for an indefinite amount of time, until Admiral Hackett gave her an assignment or the Council summoned her back to resume her Spectre duties, she had been expecting to hear from them before now but this did not bother her she was enjoying her down time. Feeling like she should get something accomplished, she headed upstairs to her bedroom, grabbed a blue cotton T-shirt and a pair of grey jean shorts out of her dresser and went into the washroom for a hot shower. Afterwards she felt like a human again, put on her panties, bra, shirt, jean shorts and socks then went downstairs to find Liara and Tali standing in her living room doing what appeared to be taking measurements of the room. When they heard Elissa enter the room both turned around hastily, Tali was the first to speak.
"Lisa!" exclaimed Tali and she gave Elissa a huge hug, which she returned with equal enthusiasm.
"It's so good to see you again, Tali," said Elissa releasing Tali from the embrace then turning to Liara, whom she noticed had a leather-bound book, "don't worry Liara, I haven't forgotten you, what's with the book by the way?"
"Oh, just some design plans," said Liara, a bit flustered but Elissa walked over and hugged her tight too, "I'm glad to see you, Lisa."
"So, catch me up, how is everything beyond the borders of Vancouver?" asked Elissa after she had released Liara too and had walked over to a large stack of boxes, using a box cutter to unleash the contents of the container. Tali came over to help her while Liara continued to take measurements with her omni-tool.
"Well, the Migrant Fleet has continued to rebuild their ranks, and the ones that are still operational are out patrolling the borders near Reaper space," said Tali, examining a model spaceship she had pulled from one of the boxes. "Surprisingly, the Geth have been an even greater help with reinforcing our ships with new Geth technology, their know how has sped up the rebuilding process by several years. I should also have a house on Rannoch soon enough, I have a plot picked out and the designs are being made." Elissa smiled at her dear friend, she knew that this house on Rannoch would mean more to Tali than anything else in the galaxy, except maybe her father being there to see the Quarians living where they had before.
"I have been monitoring the progress of the Citadel's reconstruction," said Liara, her nose stuck in her book, "the Keepers have stopped working on certain areas, which is odd since when the Citadel was up and running they were making improvements everywhere all of the time. They are now working on the mass relays, they officially have three that are operational which has surprised everyone including the Quarian engineers."
"Must be great to be the Shadow Broker again, eh, Liara?" asked Elissa, putting some more knick-knacks on the built in shelves around the entertainment center.
"It has its benefits," said Liara flatly, she seemed more absorbed in the book than in having a conversation with either Tali or Elissa.
"Feron has been spending a great deal of time over there," said Tali quietly as possible so Liara could not hear what they were saying, "he has been asking everyday for her to marry him and she has refused until recently. She hasn't said a word to anyone but me about it, I just had to tell you though, you needed to know. Most of her great mind is occupied on flower colors and chair wraps, I didn't know that Asari had weddings like humans."
"Well, I guess weddings are in the air, Kaidan proposed to me this morning over breakfast." said Elissa, flashing her ring in Tali's direction, Tali squealed with delight.
"Oh wow, Lisa!" exclaimed Tali, clapping her hands and admiring the ring glistening on Elissa's left hand. "I won the bet!"
"Bet?" asked a puzzled Elissa, looking from Liara to Tali, "What bet?"
"The crew had a bet on when the Major would propose to you," said Liara, "ever since we went on the expedition to get the diamond for your ring."
"You knew he was going to propose and didn't even hint at it!?" exclaimed Elissa, floored that her two best friends had kept this huge secret from her for several weeks.
"He swore us to secrecy, Lisa!" said Tali. "We were all on the expedition with Kaidan to Tuchanka to find the diamond. Joker piloted with EDI and the rest of us scoured the wasteland for that diamond, Grunt was the one who actually found it and Wrex gave us his blessing over it, he said that it must be blessed since it was going to be a special present for you."
"During the flight back was when the bet idea came about and everyone jumped on board, the prize got to be over one hundred credits," said Liara, still calculating the measurements she had taken earlier.
"Glad you won, Tali," said Elissa smiling at her dearest friend, and for the next hour they unloaded several boxes, chatted about weddings, when they were done they got into Liara's car and headed towards the city. When they arrived there was hardly anyone about in town though there was the farmer's market going on about half a block from the furniture store, upon entering the store they were greeted by an older looking woman.
"Hello, Ms. Shepard," said the woman, "my assistant said that you would be coming into the store today, my name is Alana."
"Hi, Alana," said Elissa, outstretching her hand for Alana to shake which she did, "I was wondering if you could show me the furniture I was discussing with your assistant Irene, she said it was the more simple contemporary style that would go well with the farmhouse."
"Ah, yes, that would be over there near the back wall," said Alana and she went off to see the next group of people who had just entered the store while Elissa, Tali, and Liara went off to see the furniture they had been directed towards. When they saw the furniture, Elissa was in love with everything there, but remembering Kaidan's plea she decided to only stick to what she was supposed to be buying which was living room furniture. There was a lovely set of a couch, chair, and loveseat that was upholstered in a cream fabric and Tali found some colorful pillows that accented the color wonderfully. Elissa found some dark wood stained tables that she felt would tie the room together nicely and there were some glass lamps with pale blue shades that further matched the room. When they were done, Elissa paid Alana from the account she had set up the week before and set the delivery time for the later that afternoon, then the three of them headed down to the farmer's market.
"There are so many fruits and vegetables," commented Tali as she picked up a white onion and placed it in the basket she had grabbed, "how can humans grow food even after what happened?"
"Earth needs food, even more so in times of crisis," said Elissa, placing a couple of containers of strawberries in her own basket. "I am so glad we have this fresh food, it's so much better than that dried crap we used to eat on the _Normandy_."
"Yeah but there was food that all species could eat, not just humans," said Liara as she scrutinized a carrot, smelling it cautiously before putting it in her basket along with a few others.
"Kaidan's hoping the orchard will be able to produce fruit by next spring, there are peach trees, apple trees, cherry trees, you name it we're growing it." laughed Elissa, grabbing some jars of honey and some jars of raspberry jelly.
They came across a stand with some bread and they all tried a slice from various loaves before buying three, one picked by each girl, and with their groceries they headed back to the farmhouse. They brought the paper bags into the kitchen and placed them on the counter, the girls put the groceries away then Elissa started on making some sandwiches for lunch, while Tali made some very sweet iced tea. Liara sat at the counter on one of the barstools, still looking through her leather book that Elissa could on guess had wedding plans meticulously written down. She stopped reading enough to look up at Elissa with tears in her eyes.
"Liara, what's wrong?" asked Elissa, very concerned with her friend's wellbeing.
"I'm pregnant," said Liara, putting her head on her hands, tears rolling down her face. Tali and Elissa were quiet, neither knew what to say since Liara did not seem to be very happy about her situation.
"Feron is the father," said Liara quietly, "I don't know if I'm ready to be a mother yet."
"Liara," said Elissa, walking over and putting her arms around Liara's shoulders, "you're going to be an excellent mother, and your daughter is going to be so very loved by you, Feron, and the rest of the crew."
"I know that everything is going to be alright, I just don't think I'm in the maternal stage yet, there is still so much to do before I have daughters," said Liara, trying to mop up her tears with the corner of her sleeve, Elissa reached for some paper towels and Liara gladly accepted the help.
"No woman, human, Asari, or Quarian, is ever ready to become a mother," said Elissa, looking to Tali for support.
"It's true," said Tali quickly.
"I cannot believe that I let this happen," sighed Liara, "I'm usually so careful and responsible when it comes to being intimate with someone."
"Well, sometimes when you love someone, you let your defenses down and things like this happen," said Elissa, stroking Liara's shoulder, and Liara leaned her head on Elissa's shoulder.
"I knew something like that could happen to other species, but with Asari, this rarely happens," said Liara, her voice cracking with emotion. Elissa and Tali were at a loss for words, there was only so much they could say to console Liara right now, her mind was not willing to process the fact that these surprises could even happen to Asari.
"I'm going to go give Kaidan his lunch," said Elissa, she grabbed a bag she had filled with a couple of steak sandwiches and a thermos of sweet tea then went outside trying to find Kaidan in this immense orchard.
"Kaidan! Kaidan!" shouted Elissa several times before she heard a reply.
"I'm under the cherry tree, Ella!" shouted Kaidan and she walked over towards the sound of his voice. She saw him laying down on the green grass with his eyes closed beneath the cherry tree with his shirt off and the gardening tools were a few feet away from him, Elissa hovered over his head, her shadow blocking out the hot sun.
"Hey there," said Elissa, and Kaidan opened his eyes then sat up.
"Hey there, yourself," said Kaidan and Elissa handed him the bag of sandwiches and the thermos of tea. "Thanks for the food, Ella."
"You're welcome, hon," said Elissa and she sat on the ground next to him. They split the food and drink, having a small picnic out there in the orchard, Kaidan's arm wrapped around Elissa's shoulders.
"Liara's pregnant," said Elissa, and Kaidan looked a bit surprised but not much.
"Who's the father?" asked Kaidan.
"Feron is the father," said Elissa, "she's pretty upset actually, apparently surprises like these are very uncommon for the Asari. She also doesn't feel she's ready to be a mother since she hasn't entered the maternal stage of her life yet."
"No woman ever feels ready," said Kaidan, echoing what Elissa had already mentioned earlier. "I know that from listening to all of my mom's friends talking about their pregnancies, no matter how many kids they had they were still upset about having another one."
"I know I'll be a wreck when I find out I'm pregnant," laughed Elissa and Kaidan laughed too but not his usual laugh, and he got very quiet.
"You've thought about being a mother?" asked Kaidan, not making direct eye contact with Elissa. They had not had the "kids" talk directly, but both had already expressed the desire to maybe someday possibly have children though the number of children and when they would start to try for kids had yet to be discussed.
"Well, yeah, I guess so," said Elissa nervously, swishing the tea in her cup around, "I did a lot more after I had met you, I liked thinking that you'd be the father even though at the time we hadn't gotten that far in our relationship."
"You thought of me as a father when we weren't even together?" asked Kaidan, an amused tone in his voice. "How strange, I used to think about you as the mother to my children when I saw just a glimpse of you getting onto the _Normandy_ that first day."
"Glad to know we were meant to be even then," laughed Elissa, leaning in closer to Kaidan and he kissed her forehead. They sat out in the bright sun for another few minutes before Elissa got back up with the trash from their picnic then headed back up towards the house while Kaidan got back to work with cleaning the tree beds. When she got back to the house, Elissa heard Tali and Liara talking to someone else in there and upon entering Elissa saw that it was the delivery man with the furniture. Her friends were arguing over where the furniture should go and Elissa smiled, she had not ever met two more independent people that got along as well as Liara and Tali, the fact the three of them could be as great of friends as they are amazed her every time.
"So have you two decided on how _my_ living room should look?" asked Elissa loudly, catching the attention of Tali and Liara.
"Sorry, Lisa," said Tali, "why don't you tell us where you want us to put the furniture?"
"Okay, I want the couch underneath the set of windows, the love seat running horizontally from the couch's right side with a table between the two with a lamp on top," directed Elissa, feeling like a commander once again, "the chair can be in the far corner with the other table and lamp, then there's a rug upstairs that I want to put on the floor before the coffee table."
The three of them worked diligently for the next couple of hours, moving the furniture and then decorating the room with some of the stuff they had found in the attic, it was nearly dark out when they were done and Kaidan came back in to see the living room completely transformed. He decided that the best way to break it in was to go and flop right onto the inviting couch which he did to the dismay of the three women.
"Kaidan!" exclaimed Elissa, throwing her hands up in utter exasperation, "We just got this furniture and you got sweat and dirt all over it!"
"Sorry, Ella," said Kaidan looking up at Elissa playfully, "I'll go and shower before the others arrive."
"What should I do about the couch?" asked Elissa sharply, her arms crossed. "How do you expect me to clean it while making dinner?"
"I'll help you with both, is that reasonable, Commander?" asked Kaidan, his tone a hint sharper than before. They looked at each other for a second before Kaidan jumped up from the couch and headed towards the bathroom upstairs while Elissa went to the kitchen to start on dinner for their gathering tonight. Tali and Liara were already there waiting for her, they were both silent but helped her out nonetheless, trying to make small conversation until Kaidan came downstairs in jeans and a grey T-shirt he then motioned for Elissa to follow him into the living room.
"Look, Ella, I'm sorry for snapping at you and for getting the couch dirty just after you got it all clean," said Kaidan in a quiet voice, holding Elissa's hand as a gesture of sincerity.
"I'm sorry for snapping at you too, I shouldn't have overreacted like that," said Elissa, squeezing Kaidan's hand and they both smiled at each other, kissed and returned to the kitchen where they had a nice time talking and cooking with the others. Sometime before seven Garrus arrived with Joker and EDI in tow, Elissa dashed from the kitchen to get the door and hugged Garrus tightly, she hugged Joker gingerly though she wanted to squeeze him too then she hugged EDI who had learned to reciprocate the gesture without the bone crushing force she was capable of producing. Wrex and Grunt were there too, Elissa waved at them since they did not want any displays of human affection and there was also Jacob and James whom Elissa hugged tightly as well.
"Glad to see all of you again," said Elissa as she ushered her guests into the kitchen with the rest of the crew.
"Hey, Joker!" shouted Kaidan from the stove, he was grilling up some steaks and Joker walked over and sat in the barstool Elissa had pulled out for him and placed close to the stove so he could help Kaidan out with the steaks.
"Hey, Major, how's everything been?" said Joker, taking the beer Kaidan was offering. "Have you done it yet?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact I have," said Kaidan smugly, glancing over at Elissa who was chopping up vegetables for a salad, her ring catching the light.
"So who won the bet?" asked Joker quietly, trying not bring attention to the topic.
"I did!" exclaimed Tali and Joker looked deflated.
"Yep, Tali said two weeks after our expedition, and it has been two weeks to the day," said Kaidan, "Give her the money, EDI."
"Of course, Major Alenko," said EDI and she reached into a compartment pulling out a small bundle of credits then handed the money over to Tali who pocketed her winnings quickly, returning to her task of buttering the bread. Liara was absentmindedly mixing a large pitcher of spiked lemonade that she had made, looking out of the window at the fireflies dancing around the windows.
"Liara's pregnant!" announced Elissa, sensing that Liara was still thinking about the growing life inside of her, and the room erupted into cheers. Liara blushed deeply which was saying something since red did not always show up on her lovely blue skin and everyone began to ask her rapid fire questions, mostly about who the father was.
"Feron is the father!" shouted Liara happily, and there was more cheering, Elissa could see that Liara's attitude about the situation had changed when most of the crew found out about her condition. Elissa could only guess that the worst part had been hiding the pregnancy from everyone that was important to her, having it out in the open had made Liara relax more and she now seemed more eager to discuss her daughter.
"I've been trying to think of names for her, something that can be a tribute to my two dearest friends," said Liara, looking at Elissa and Tali, "I was thinking about naming her Talissa, what do you think?"
"Sounds like a lovely name," said Tali, patting Liara on the shoulder. "I'm honored that you care enough to name your daughter after me."
"I agree," said Elissa, "I'm honored that you want to name your daughter after me."
"Congratulations to the Shadow Broker!" shouted a slightly tipsy Jacob.
"Congratulations!" shouted the rest of them.
"Congrats to the Major and Commander!" shouted Grunt and Wrex. The rest followed suit, shouting congratulations to every person they could think of earning the cheer. Someone knocked on the door and Elissa left the party to go and answer the door, still smiling at what a wonderful evening this was turning into. When she answered the door, a young man in an Alliance uniform was there waiting.
"Commander Shepard, I am Lieutenant Thomas," said Lt. Thomas, saluting. "I am here on official business from Admiral Hackett."
"Lieutenant," said Elissa, saluting the young man back and he handed her an envelope. "Inform the admiral that I have received his package and will respond to his message within twenty-four hours."
"Commander," said Lt. Thomas and he turned and left as Elissa closed the door behind him. She looked down at the package and walked slowly back into the kitchen, her whole body trembling with anticipation, she was hoping it would contain her papers saying she could return to active duty soon. Kaidan saw the package as Elissa walked back into the kitchen and put his arms around Elissa's waist when she stood at the counter.
"Who's it from, Ella?" asked Kaidan until he saw the official seal of Admiral Hackett. "Hackett? Does this mean you're going to return to duty?"
"I'm about to find out," said Elissa, somewhat breathless with anticipation. Everyone in the room seemed to hold their breath as Elissa slowly opened the envelope and pulled the papers out of the casing. Elissa read the papers then reread them, unable to comprehend what they were saying.
"Ella, what do they say?" asked Kaidan concerned.
"I've been decommissioned," said Elissa, anger rising in her voice, "I'm no longer in the military."
3. Shocked
"What do you mean decommissioned?" asked Kaidan, not believing the news himself.
"There aren't any details," seethed Elissa, balling up the papers in anger, "I'm just supposed to report to Admiral Hackett's office as soon as I am able where he will explain everything."
"Lisa, are you still a Spectre?" asked Tali. "Being discharged from the Alliance Forces does not mean you have been demoted from Spectre status."
"I guess I'll find that out when I get honorably discharged," said Elissa through her teeth. "Excuse me." She pushed Kaidan's hands off of her and practically ran up the stairs and tried with all of her might not to slam the door when she got into her bedroom.
"How could they do this?" asked Kaidan aloud, "Ella's a good soldier and leader, she hasn't done anything wrong, she was found innocent of all charges at her hearing for God's sake."
"You got me, Maj," said Joker, looking at the floor, EDI putting her hand on his shoulder, "I mean the Commander, uh, Elissa, is a damn fine soldier and Spectre. Alright so we went rogue for a little while, and might have unintentionally caused a war with the Batarians, oh and there was the whole disobeying orders against going to Ilos incident—"
"Joker, stop trying to help," sighed Jacob. "She might have the chance to appeal the decision if their evidence isn't sound."
"That is possible," said Tali, thinking about her trial back on the Migrant Fleet, "maybe we could request a trial for her, and we all speak on her behalf."
"Well, everyone except Joker," said James jokingly, "his testimony would single handedly guarantee Lola's discharge, not to mention the rest of us."
"Hey! I love the Commander like the rest of you, well maybe not like you, Maj," said Joker, winking at Kaidan, "but that doesn't mean I want to see her get booted out!"
"None of us wants to see Lisa get discharged, Joker," said Liara patiently.
"Is there anything you can do, Liara, being the Shadow Broker and all?" asked Garrus.
"I could take a look at any evidence they could present against her, possibly peek at the forms that explain their reason for the discharge, but that's all I can do," said Liara, sighing heavily, she wanted to help her friend but there was only so much even she could do at this point.
"It's a start," said Kaidan forcefully, "there might be more we could do to help Ella but right now, I think we should just try to boost her morale."
"Well, Maj, I think that's your department," quipped Joker and everyone else snickered softly. Kaidan rolled his eyes in jest, he knew they were trying to ease the tension in this situation, so in the spirit of a good laugh he stooped his shoulders and hung his head as he headed up the stairs.
"Do I have to?" asked Kaidan in a whiny voice with a sparkle in his eyes. The rest of them laughed, while Joker motioned that he had to venture forth to the second story, which he did with a spring in his step despite his outward appearance. When he got to their bedroom he eased the door open he saw Ella sitting on their bed with her head hung, arms resting on her legs and hands clasped in front of her. Kaidan slowly walked towards her and when she did not move from her position, he sat down on the bed next to her and wrapped his arm around her waist.
"How are you holding up, Ella?" asked Kaidan quietly, his hand gently caressing her side.
"I don't understand it, Kaidan," started Elissa, her voice almost a whisper, "what did I do wrong?"
"Nothing, Ella, you've done nothing wrong," said Kaidan, his voice raised some, "what would make you think that you did something wrong?"
"Why else would they discharge me?" snapped Elissa, a tone Elissa immediately regretted when she saw the hurt look on his face. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."
"Hey, you've had a rough night," said Kaidan soothingly, "you have a reason to be upset."
"I've been a soldier for most of my life, my parents were military, and now I have nothing," said Elissa, running her fingers through her hair.
"You still have me, and the house," said Kaidan, a bit hurt.
"I know," said Elissa, putting her hand on Kaidan's thigh, "I love being here and being with you, I'm just pissed off and blowing off steam."
"I know, baby," said Kaidan taking Elissa's hand in both of his and kissing her fingertips, then stood up, "come on downstairs, it's not a party without you."
Elissa smiled and allowed Kaidan to help her up off the bed and they walked downstairs together where she was greeted with a loud round of applause. She was deeply touched, the people standing before her had been to hell and back under her command and they had all remained strong throughout the whole ordeal, now here they were helping her regain the resilience she had thought was long gone. She looked at each of her crew members, amazed that they had all made it through when she had been told it would be nearly impossible to have this many survive, she could not believe that she had achieved that impossible and they were all there. Joker had found someone to be with who laughed at his bad jokes, and even though she was made entirely of metal, she was gentle with him, understanding that his condition required delicate care and he was happy with EDI despite the irregular nature of their relationship. Liara's life was going phenomenally well, she was the most powerful being in the Milky Way yet she had still maintained her friendly disposition and concern for the well being of each planet. Now Liara was going to be a mother and wife a journey she would not embark on alone, she would have all of the support she needed from the crew and Feron would be there too, helping her through the rough times.
Tali had regained her status on the Migrant Fleet and was now working side by side with a Geth to try and improve their technology in an attempt to maintain the Quarian home world, yet even with all of these projects occupying her time she was still able to visit with her friends and be there for them without question. Without Tali, Elissa was not sure how she would have made it through those tough months without Kaidan, especially after what happened on Horizon, not having Kaidan or his support made those the hardest months of her life. Wrex and Grunt were both now trying to unite the individual tribes of the Krogan on Tuchanka, they sounded more hopeful now that the genophage had been eradicated, and at last count there were already over two hundred Krogan babies. Their new radical ideas were being accepted by more of the Krogan and were having the impact that Wrex had hoped for when he had set out on this renaissance for his species.
James had made a name for himself, being not only a formidable poker opponent, but as a soldier too, after the Reaper war he had become a drill sergeant for N7 training, specializing in recruiting and assisting kids who had been in the same situation he had been in before becoming a marine. He had also opened up a small tattoo parlor with Cortez though James never really did anything there beyond getting additions to his own body, though Cortez did not care, he enjoyed running the business or so James said. Jacob was now living with Brynn and his son Nicholas in Vancouver and had managed to stay hidden from Cerberus for long enough to get both his wife and son off world and to a safe haven until the war was over. Brynn was adjusting well to a simple life after what she had experienced and Nicholas was about a year old now and Jacob was taking to being a father extremely well. Garrus had gone back to Omega as the vigilante Archangel and had been seen around with Aria though he denied that it was a romantic relationship, Elissa had seen the way his eyes sparkled whenever someone spoke about her though, so she knew he was laying.
Elissa beamed at all of her friends, feeling very proud to have led them all and being able to see how their lives turned out, then she looked at Kaidan and saw the rest of her life. The ring on her finger caught the light again, making her think of all the times she and Kaidan had shared and she could not begin to imagine her life without Kaidan nor did she want to again, she thought she had lost him once and could not go through that hell again. Now she needed his support again, dealing with this discharge was going to be trying on both her patience and confidence, and if she lost her Spectre status then she would feel completely useless in this world and the other ones as well.
"Food's ready!" called Kaidan from the kitchen where he had disappeared to momentarily. Everyone filed out of the living room and onto the balcony where they enjoyed their various foods, most enjoying steaks while others were enjoying delicacies that was specific to their species. Jacob was talking with Liara about being a parent, Garrus was speaking with Wrex and Grunt about some various guns and how to acquire them and Tali was trying to coax more details about some secret technology from EDI while Joker was joking around with Kaidan.
"Ellie!" shouted Joker, "stop being a loner, come join us!" Elissa smiled and walked over to where Joker was sitting and Kaidan kissed her cheek.
"Joker was just telling me about some of the adventures you had without me, again," said Kaidan, leaning against the railing of the deck.
"Which ones?" asked Elissa, eyeing Joker suspiciously.
"The fun ones, like recruiting Garrus and taking down the Shadow Broker, oh and tracking Thane that was awesome!" said Joker loudly, then he sipped his Canadian lager. "This beer, is the real deal, I've missed a good old fashion beer."
"Good thing you're living here then," said Kaidan as he reached for another, "all the beer you can drink."
"I still prefer a good white wine," said Elissa, "best way to unwind after a rough day, did that more than once while on active duty."
"That explains the wine racks in the basement," said Kaidan teasingly, kissing Elissa's cheek again.
"Might want to hide the wine after her meeting with Hackett," said Joker and Elissa lifted her fist in a playful gesture, Joker flinched just slightly, though they were smiling the whole time. They had been doing this since they had been hired by Cerberus, he was one of only a few friendly faces she had seen at the beginning of those long months and she was grateful to have had him there.
Instead of being Commander and Lieutenant, they were now more like brother and sister, both had supported the other through tough times and had the other's back when push came to shove. Elissa remembered one night after a difficult mission, she had been in her quarters trying to unwind with a glass of muscato and in walked Joker with a deck of playing cards, he had insisted that he was going to teach her how to play gin rummy then and there. After a few hands, Elissa had a better grasp on the game and things got serious, they played well into that night waking up with cards everywhere. They then had gotten into the habit of playing almost every night even if there was not a difficult mission to contend with, soon they were opening up more and more about their lives, she talked about living on the various Naval stations and he talked about his life focusing more on how he had learned the basics of flying from an old friend of his mom's. Now they still played gin rummy almost every night, but not for hours on end, both Kaidan and EDI had limited the time to three hours on weekends and two hours on weekdays.
Elissa was smiling when she was shaken from her thoughts by Joker's hand waving in her face saying, "_Normandy_ to shore party, come in shore party."
"I'm fine, Joker, I was just thinking about when you taught me how to play gin," said Elissa.
"Are we going to play tonight or would you rather postpone?" asked Joker, checking his watch. "It's getting pretty late even for a two hour game."
"I think we'll have enough time to play a few hands," said Elissa, "besides, on our flight back to the Citadel, we'll probably have even more time."
"I agree, but I think the Major should join us," said Joker.
"I play poker not gin," said Kaidan as he took a sip of his lemonade.
"You should learn how to play," said Elissa nudging him in the arm with her shoulder, "it's something fun that is also mentally stimulating."
"Why don't you ask Liara or Tali to play?" asked Kaidan as he took a bite of his piece of bread.
"Yeah, Ellie, why don't we ask the members of two of the smartest races in the galaxy to play a game that involves keeping track of points? What were we thinking?" asked Joker sarcastically.
"Joker, be nice," warned Elissa, "if he doesn't want to play, he doesn't have to, it's solely his choice."
"Thank you, Ella," said Kaidan, pecking her on the lips.
"Hey, Elissa, Kaidan," said Jacob walking over, "I'm heading out, Vega's going to take me home, I had one too many glasses of that spiked lemonade."
"That's fine, Jacob, just get back to Brynn and Nick safely," said Elissa hugging him good-bye.
"Take care, Jacob," said Kaidan as he shook Jacob's hand.
"You too, Kaidan," said Jacob and he stumbled a little as he walked down the deck stairs.
"I really should make sure he gets home alright," said James, taking Elissa in a great big bear hug, "great dinner, Lola, you and Kaidan really put a spread out tonight."
"Thank you, James," said Elissa, struggling to say anything under the pressure of his hug.
"Kaidan," said James as he released Elissa and then hugged Kaidan but not the same as he had hugged her, "great steaks, great beer, great to be here."
"Glad you came," said Kaidan and then James followed the path Jacob had taken off the deck and was gone with him shortly after.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave as well, Lisa," said Tali, walking up to Elissa and Kaidan, "I have a trip tomorrow to Rannoch for a meeting with the architects about my house, thank you for an excellent night." She hugged Elissa tightly and then hugged Kaidan.
"Don't spend that hundred in one night," said Kaidan as he released her, and then he embraced Liara as she hugged him after having hugged Elissa. "You leaving too?"
"Yes, I need to get back to Feron," said Liara, as he released her, "Tali's taking me back there on her way to Rannoch, I had a great time, thank you both for everything."
"It was good to see you both again, thanks for the help with the furniture," said Elissa and she waved good-bye as they left.
"You guys leaving too?" asked Kaidan, looking at Wrex, Grunt, and Garrus.
"Yes, but not to go home, we have some more parties to attend," said Garrus with a wicked tone.
"Uh-huh," said Elissa, folding her arms across her chest, "do these parties involve guns and armor?"
"Only the best ones do, Shepard," said Garrus, he hugged Elissa carefully, his armor getting in the way more than it usually did.
"Good bye, Shepard, Alenko," said Wrex, shaking her her hand and then Kaidan's.
"So long, Wrex," said Elissa.
"Glad you could make it," said Kaidan.
Grunt walked up to them and bowed his head, his way of saying good-bye in situations where he knew great respect was deserved.
"Grunt, you know you don't have to bow to me," said Elissa exasperated at the Krogan's actions.
"I will bow to you until I am your equal," replied Grunt, "I do the same to Urdnot Wrex and several other clan leaders."
"Come on, Grunt!" called Garrus, "There's still some fun to be had!"
"Shepard," said Grunt and he left, following Wrex and Garrus to Garrus's car and then like everyone before them, they flew away from the house.
"Shall we adjourn inside?" asked Joker, shuffling the deck of cards he kept on him at all times. "Major, you are learning how to play gin, no if ands or buts about it."
"Ella," said Kaidan, his tone implying he really wanted out of this.
"Come on, Kaidan," said Elissa tugging his hand towards the house, "it'll be fun, just a few hands, what's the harm?"
"I have a feeling that if I don't play, you'll keep asking until I relent," said Kaidan and he followed Elissa inside. Joker was already sitting on the loveseat, EDI was sitting in the chair, reading a book of poetry, Elissa and Kaidan sat on the couch.
"Ready to lose, Major?" asked Joker dealing out the cards onto the table.
"If you say so, Joker," said Kaidan reluctantly as he picked up his cards.
"Lighten up, Kaidan, you're probably good at this game," said Elissa.
Several hours and hands later, Kaidan finally threw down his cards and shouted, "Gin!"
"Great job, sweetheart," said Elissa as she gathered up the cards and handed them back to Joker.
"You're just as good as Elissa," said Joker, trying to look dismayed at how quickly Kaidan had picked up the game.
"I can see how you two can play this game for hours," said Kaidan laughing, "it really is a lot of fun, not to mention a great way to relax."
"So are you going to be a third for gin rummy, Major?" asked Joker, hoping he would say no, as he put the deck back in his pocket.
"I might be persuaded to join you guys every now and again," said Kaidan as he leaned back into the cushions of the couch putting his arm on the back of the couch, Elissa then leaned against Kaidan, overcome with the feeling of needing lots of sleep.
"Joker, it is nearly three in the morning," said EDI, standing up, "I think we should return home and let the Commander and Major sleep."
"Killjoy," muttered Joker and he stood up, stretching carefully. He came over and hugged Elissa as tight as he could without injuring himself and then shook Kaidan's hand, EDI then picked up Joker and they left.
"I finally have you all to myself," said Kaidan pulling Elissa closer to his body, and placing a soft kiss on her lips.
"Reminds me of when we first bunked together on the _Normandy_," said Elissa in a sultry voice.
"That was a pretty spectacular night, if I remember correctly," said Kaidan laughing slightly to himself.
"Want to try and recreate that night?" asked Elissa, standing up and extending her hand to Kaidan which he eagerly took.
"Just like we do nearly every night," said Kaidan planting a passionate kiss on the unsuspecting Elissa, he took her hand and pulled her with him up the stairs and to their bedroom, Elissa giggling and blushing the whole walk.
4. Something Unexpected
**A/N: Hey everyone, thanks for sticking with this story so far, I promise there is a plot, just hold on! Just wanted to give a heads up that from this chapter on, I will be switching between Elissa's POV and Joker's POV with either a whole chapter from or just sections. Read and Review! **
* * *
_'This cannot be happening, this cannot be happening,'_ thought Elissa as she boarded the _Normandy_ just a few short hours after having spoken to Admiral Hackett, he had been about as helpful as the papers she had been handed last night. From what he had told her that morning, he himself had just received the paperwork that discussed her discharge from the Alliance Navy and her call was rather unexpected since he had thought that she would have been getting the orders after he had reviewed the orders. Nothing about this situation was adding up, it was all rather sketchy and seemed so well orchestrated that people who would have normally been aware of the situation were not and that incoming information was being filtered so as to not arouse too much suspicion. These were the thoughts that clouded her mind as she sat at her desk in her cabin alone, Kaidan had gone down to the armory with Garrus to begin recalibration of some cannon on the _Normandy_ that was starting to falter some in its aiming program.
"Commander Shepard," said Joker over the intercom, "please report to the bridge, I repeat, Commander Shepard to the bridge." Elissa looked around her cabin bewildered, Joker had never summoned her to the bridge before, not even when there was trouble going on with the _Normandy_. She put on her hoodie, and headed down to the bridge to try and figure out why Joker had decided now was the exact time to have her come down there, plowing through a few crew members in the process of walking.
When she arrived, her frustration of being called down to the bridge must have been evident since Joker took one look at her face and said, "I promise this is important."
"It better be," muttered Elissa, as she rubbed her arms trying to warm up, "God, why is it so cold?"
"Heat hasn't turned on yet," said Joker as he began punching in some numbers on the console, "if you're really cold, you could always go down to the engine room or stay here with me, either option will warm you right up."
"Smooth, flyboy," said Elissa smirking as she pressed gently on the back of his head pushing it forward some before sitting in the empty co-pilot's chair.
"Anyway," said Joker, becoming serious, "the reason I've called you up here is I received this message from the docks on the Citadel, our docking privileges have been revoked."
"What do you mean revoked?" asked Elissa looking startled and angry, "Spectres have their own private dock."
"Got me, Ellie," said Joker bringing up the message on his console, "read for yourself."
Elissa got up and leaned over Joker's shoulder as she read the message:
_ Flight Lieutenant Moreau,_
_ We regret to inform you that due to the extenuating circumstances concerning your commander and crew, the Normandy has been denied access to its usual dock, D-24 until further notice. Please report to docking bay R-17, hangar 4 when you do arrive at the Citadel._
_ Respectfully yours,_
_ Crew Chief Enders_
"What the hell is going on here?" whispered Elissa as she stood back up shaking her head in disbelief, "First the suspension from duty, then the trial, and now I can't even park in my own God damn dock? I swear, the Fates are working against me."
"The Fates?" asked Joker swiveling around in his chair to face Elissa.
"Figure of speech, something I got from one of Ash's poetry books," said Elissa and she quickly dismissed the memories of the Gunnery Chief that were threatening tears.
"Yeah, okay," said Joker uneasily when he saw the look on Elissa's face, "look, if you want to sit up here and talk, I'm all ears."
"Don't sell yourself short, Jeff," said Elissa, her eyes scanning his form, and she could see him blush which made her blush as well, something hung in the air between them, unspoken words and a tension she had felt there often.
"Jeff," started Elissa but her voice faltered and failed, then EDI and Kaidan walked in, silencing her and breaking the moment.
"Hey, sweetie," said Joker and EDI hugged him gently before taking her seat next to him. Elissa could feel something stir within her heart, almost like jealousy, when she saw EDI sitting next to Joker.
"Hi, Ella," said Kaidan and he pecked Elissa's lips, she suddenly felt rather embarrassed of having Joker see them kiss even though they had kissed in front of the crew before.
"Hey, Kaidan," said Elissa, trying to sound happier than she was actually feeling at that moment. "How are the calibrations going?"
"From what I could tell they were just about perfect," said Kaidan, wrapping his arm around her waist, "but Garrus is insisting that there is still some more calibrating to be done."
"Did you do something about the heat, I'm freezing my balls off up here?" asked Joker, as he starting putting in the coordinates for the nearest mass relay.
"We're working on it, Cap," said Kaidan, clapping Joker on the shoulder, then turning to Elissa, "Would you like to join me for lunch later today?"
"Yeah, sure," said Elissa still looking at Kaidan though glancing at Joker as she spoke. He smiled at her and then left the bridge, Elissa felt like she wanted to stay on the bridge and talk with Joker but not with an audience there, which seemed odd since having a presence had not been a problem before.
"I, uh, guess I'll uh, go then," said Elissa and she started moving her hands in random motions trying to indicate she was leaving but looked more like she was directing traffic.
"Good bye, Commander," said EDI coldly, her tone surprised Elissa but she was already out of the door, so she shook it off and decided to go find Tali, she needed to talk about this.
Joker had yet to register that Elissa had left the bridge when he said, "So, Ellie, how have you been?"
"Jeff, the Commander left the bridge one point two seconds ago, when you were facing the console," said EDI and she seemed distant when she spoke.
"Oh, well then," said Joker awkwardly, he was rather disappointed that Elissa had left but he realized why she might have since there was no place for her to sit down and talk with him.
"Jeff?" said EDI.
"Yes, EDI?" asked Joker as he began the liftoff sequence.
"Why do your bio readings always elevate when the Commander is present?" asked EDI, sounding almost upset with him.
"Which readings, EDI?" asked Joker, rapidly punching buttons on the console yet still aware of what EDI was saying to him.
"Your body temperature rises by about zero point two degrees Fahrenheit, testosterone levels rise to a peak associated with early sexual arousal in human males, and your endorphin levels increase to a point that I have only seen when you are playing one of your games, not to mention your rapid heart beat," replied EDI, her fists clenched on her arm rests and voice tight.
"I don't know, EDI, I really don't have any control over my bodily functions," said Joker forcibly as he brought the _Normandy_ out of Earth's atmosphere, he was more interested in getting the ship into space than talking about why his heart beat faster or his testosterone increased whenever Elissa was around.
"Can we talk about this later, EDI?" asked Joker as he turned on the thrusters and started to stabilize the _Normandy_.
"No, Jeff," said EDI bitterly, "I want to discuss your attraction to the Commander now. I thought you were over this, you swore to me that there was nothing left, why have you betrayed me like this?"
Now Joker was both speechless and furious, he turned away from EDI and focused more on getting the _Normandy_ into the relay, going over the checks to himself, "Stand by for relay transit. Hitting the relay in ten, nine, eight, seven, six . . ." He could feel the power surge through the _Normandy_ as the field encompassed the ship, the rest of the galaxy blurred through the windshields and there was the usual jolt of the ship coming out on the other side, he checked the boards. "Transition complete. The board is greener than a Drell's ass."
"If you are not willing to discuss this problem then I am leaving," huffed EDI and she stood and walked out of the cockpit with her fists still clenched.
"What the hell is her problem?" muttered Joker to himself as he did the final checks of the Normandy's systems just as Garrus entered the bridge.
"I just saw EDI, she seemed pretty upset," said Garrus as he sat in the newly vacant co-pilot's seat, "this wouldn't have anything to do with your secret would it?"
"What secret?" asked Joker innocently as he spun to face Garrus.
"That supposedly "secret" crush you've had on Shepard since she stepped onto the bridge on the SR-1," said Garrus, slightly annoyed that Joker would still not admit that he had feelings for Elissa despite the length of time they had known each other, "EDI was bound to find out, you turn into a rambling idiot when Shepard is around."
"I only told you, Garrus," said Joker bitterly, "and that was more than enough people to know."
"Fine, be some miserable old man that sits in a bar angry about the one who got away as you humans say," snapped Garrus and he stood up. "I was just trying to prod you in the right direction but I guess you just want to fumble around on your own. That's fine with me."
"What good would it do me now, though?" asked Joker in a raised voice. "She has Alenko to be her hero. I'm just her crippled pilot!"
"I don't know what good it would do you, but it sure as hell would make everything easier for the rest of us who have to cringe every time you speak with her!" yelled Garrus.
"Who asked you to listen in anyway?" retorted Joker, he was getting really pissed off at Garrus.
"You know what, you are hopeless, and when you decide to grow a quad and be a man, let me know because right now you are acting like a child!" snapped Garrus and he walked away from Joker, shaking his head, unable to understand why humans insist on playing games when it comes to mating.
Joker sat back down in his seat, seething with rage, he could barely see the console in front of him, nothing about today was going to go right he could tell just by how close he had come to nailing Garrus in the side of the head with a two-by-four. '_Fuck this, I don't need her, she'll never see me as anything but her fucking brother,'_ thought Joker as he ran a few tests on the core.
* * *
Joker was sitting in a chair in the mess with a plate of food in front of him but no appetite to stomach any of it, his mind was swirling with what Garrus had talked about, well yelled about. He might be acting like a complete idiot and a child but this was his own problem and he did not want to complicate things with Elissa and Kaidan, he owed her that much respect. He heard her footsteps approaching, even without being on the bridge he knew what hers sounded like, when he turned around he nearly had to pick his jaw up off of the floor she looked amazing in her dress blues. Her long golden brown hair was pulled back in a tight bun and she was wearing some eye make-up but that was all and to him she still looked amazing, this was the Commander Shepard he had fallen in love with.
She sat down next to him at the table, her body so close to his he could see her chest rising and falling as she breathed he could feel the heat resonating from her body from underneath her clothes. Elissa was staring straight ahead, her eyes showed him she was in deep thought, too much in thought to really notice anything or anyone around her.
"Hey, Ellie," said Joker brightly as he nudged her shoulder with his own, "you getting ready for your meeting with the big bad Council?" She looked at him after he had nudged her, her mind receding from thought, coming back to reality where she needed to be right now.
"Like you should be," said Elissa, nudging him back, "everyone's putting their best on, you should be dressed in your blues too, in case you get called to be a character witness."
"What character should I be?" asked Joker in his smart-ass tone, "Maybe a space pirate or should I do an imitation of the Turian Councilor?"
"I think you should be you," said Elissa ruffling his cap, "I like that character most."
"Yeah, but I'm so boring," whined Joker, "plus if I was a space pirate, I could pretend I can piss without breaking a tibia."
"I thought you had those medical procedures that made your legs stronger," commented Elissa, "remember, that was part of your deal with Cerberus, they fix your bones if you be their drone."
"I was never their drone," replied Joker firmly, "I have always been your drone, Ellie, I only joined them when I saw your heart beating on that monitor."
Elissa smiled, he was as loyal to her now as he had been that first day, perhaps even more so now that they had been through hell and lived to tell the tale.
"Ella!" shouted Kaidan from somewhere close by, making Joker and she jump, "Come on, Ella, you need to help get my medals on my dress blues."
"Thirty-six years old and he still needs help getting dressed," muttered Elissa as she stood up and Joker refrained with difficulty from not laughing his ass off.
"Hey, want to have lunch with me?" asked Joker, "We could go to that kabob stand you like so much."
"Sure, Joker," said Elissa smiling, "You, Kaidan, EDI and I can all go there. I'll see you later, Joker."
Joker smiled at her as she walked away but he could not help but feel some kind of disappointment that she had turned this outing into a double date, he was hoping for something like from before, when it was just the two of them. He sighed, there was nothing he could do about that now, instead he needed to focus on patching things up with EDI, he really had no reason to be angry with her she was just reacting to what she perceived as a threat. "Well, guess I need to go get pretty," sighed Joker, "I hope EDI hasn't torched my stuff yet."
5. Guilty by Suspicion
"Commander Shepard," said Admiral Hackett walking up the the _Normandy_'s bay door in greeting as she disembarked, "I heard about the change in docks for the _Normandy_, barely made it here in time to greet you, I was waiting at your usual hangar."
"Thanks for being here, Admiral," said Elissa as she saluted him, "I'm still not sure why the _Normandy_'s been reassigned to the hangar that is usually reserved for merchants and minor fleet frigates. Think it has something to do with the trial?"
"Possibly," said Hackett, "either way, the Council, generals, and admirals are waiting for you in the Council chamber. Who is going in with you, besides me of course?"
"Major Kaidan Alenko, Flight Lieutenant Jeffery Moreau, and Lieutenant Jacob Taylor," replied Elissa and each one in turn had saluted Hackett.
"Good," said Hackett and beckoned to Elissa to speak with him in private.
She told the squad to wait for her there and she went off with Hackett, when he was sure they were out of earshot he spoke, "Listen, Shepard, something fishy is going on, I was not aware of this trial or your discharge until you spoke with me this morning."
"But sir, I received an official memo from you last night by one Lieutenant Thomas," said Elissa bewildered, "He came to my house, in an Alliance Navy issued uniform, the papers had the seal of your office on them."
"I am aware of that, Shepard," said Hackett sternly, "The Council seemed to know about this, as well as the other admirals and the generals that are present, why I was left out of the loop I don't know but it concerns me greatly."
"What do we do about this, sir?" asked Elissa her mind whirring with different scenarios of what could be going on and who was responsible.
Hackett shrugged and looked dejected, "The only thing we can do, Shepard, take charge of the situation head on and deal with the consequences later."
"Sir, thank you, for being here," said Elissa extending her hand and Hackett gladly shook it, despite everything, he had remained by her side through thick and thin and she knew he would be there to the end.
* * *
The group of soldiers walked to the elevator and went down to C-Sec, the hustle and bustle still the same, only a few passerby looked over at them not taking much interest in who they were or where they were going. They walked over to the Citadel rapid transit and Elissa allowed Hackett to summon the taxi, her hands were shaking too badly for her to press any buttons without making the wrong choice. When the cab arrived everyone piled in, Hackett up front with the driver, Kaidan and Jacob were sitting in the middle, Elissa and Joker in the backseat.
"Elissa," said Jacob, turning to in his seat to face her better, "why am I here? I'm only a consultant to the Alliance and a lieutenant in name alone."
"You're here because I trust you, Jacob," said Elissa, putting her hand on his arm, "and if they try to bring up my time with Cerberus, I'm going to need someone on my side who knew the inner workings of the organization. You're perfect for this, Jacob."
"Okay, we know why Jacob's here," said Joker, "and we all know for sure why the Major's here, other than the obvious reasons of being a Spectre and Alliance officer, so why am I here, Ellie?"
"Character witness," said Elissa, leaning back in the seat, "you've been with me since the beginning, during my time with Cerberus, and you were there while I was recruiting an army against the Reapers. You know me pretty damn well, so you are perfect to tell them about my accomplishments and attributes."
"Until he starts mouthing off about Ilos or something of equal resentment," said Jacob and everyone laughed, even Hackett.
"How do you even know about that?" asked Joker, defensively, "You weren't even with us then."
"I read it in the file," said Jacob, shrugging his shoulders, "there's stuff in that file you'd think wouldn't be in there."
"Like what?" asked Joker, his curiosity piqued.
"Like those websites you used to visit on a slow night," said Jacob trying to be serious but smiling as he spoke and Joker turned bright red, unable to speak to defend himself as everyone around him snickered.
"Lighten up, Joker," said Elissa, elbowing him gently in the arm, "he's just screwing with you."
"She's right, Joker," said Jacob, "there are also websites in there that Kaidan was looking at as well." It was Kaidan's turn to become red as everyone in the taxi laughed at his expense.
"Lighten up, Maj," said Joker, echoing Elissa's words, "he's just screwing with you."
"Joker, I'm going to kill you," sighed Kaidan, his hand glowing blue with his biotic aura.
"No biotics in the cab," said Hackett from the front, "my God, you'd think you all were still teenagers the way you talk to each other." The group laughed and Hackett smiled, this crew of soldiers were like his children, he cared about each one and wanted this trial to turn out well so nothing would come between them.
They arrived at the Citadel Tower, all exiting the cab almost in chain of command, Elissa swallowed hard this was the deciding factor in her career with the Alliance and if something went wrong with the trial she could kiss her job good bye. Kaidan walked up beside her and took her hand in his, gently squeezing it to reassure her that everything would work out in the end, much to her relief.
"Ready to do this?" asked Kaidan quietly as they entered the Tower, the various ambassadors and representatives were now watching them, whispering behind their hands.
"Ready as I'll ever be," muttered Elissa as they made their way to the Council chamber, she could feel her body trembling with each step up to the platform, when she got up there she saw someone waiting for her she had not seen in a very long time.
"Mom!" exclaimed Elissa and she practically ran to her mother's waiting arms.
"Hey kiddo," said Hannah Shepard, hugging her daughter tightly against her, "glad you're alright, I've missed you so much!"
"I've missed you, too, Mom," said Elissa, not wanting to let go of her mother, but she pulled apart enough to look her mother in the face, "What are you doing here?"
"I was contacted by Hackett this morning," said Hannah, indicating the admiral, "he said something about you needing moral support." Elissa looked at the admiral and smiled, he was still looking out for her, this gesture proved the loyalty and trust he still had for her.
"I'm glad you came, Mom," said Elissa, hugging her mother again, "we have a lot to catch up on, I have so much to tell you."
"After today's portion of the trial," said Hannah, resuming her composure of both admiral and mother, "I'll take you and your squad out to dinner, we can talk then, Jackie."
"Jackie?" said Joker, a grin on his face, "Your mom calls you Jackie?"
"Well," said Hannah, looking at Joker and smiling, "everyone else took her nicknames so I came up with one that was unique to only me."
"Mom," moaned Elissa, "can we wait until after my trial to humiliate me?"
"Yes, Jackie, of course, dear," said Hannah, trying to conceal her grin.
"What did her dad call her?" asked Joker in a whisper as they all took their seats around the console, Elissa and Hackett were standing at the console getting ready to greet the Council and the rest of the board who had yet to make their appearance.
"Ellie Belly," said Hannah in a whisper so Elissa could not hear them talking, Joker had to bite his knuckle so he would not laugh out loud, the nickname was way too cute to not use on occasion.
"Commander Elissa J. Shepard, please step forward," said the Turian councilor, Elissa shook off her trepidation and nervousness, replacing them with confidence and bravery as she took her place before the council.
"Commander Shepard," said the Asari councilor, "you are on trial today concerning your continuation in both the Alliance Military, Navy branch and the title of Spectre, today's portion of the trial will concern the charges being brought against you and given the chance to defend yourself. Tomorrow you will be visited by a psychologist and evaluated on whether or not you will be fit for duty, his findings will be taken into account on our verdict, and then two days later, we will have our verdict ready for you. Do you understand how these court proceedings will work?"
"Yes, ma'am," said Elissa, and the various people nodded.
"Flight Lieutenant Jeffery P. Moreau, please stand next to your commander," said the Turian councilor and everyone looked at Joker, they had all thought this trial was for Elissa, not for multiple crew members. Joker stood with some help from both Kaidan and Hannah, and he walked over to Elissa and she helped him stand up as straight as he could before the Council.
"Flight Lieutenant Moreau," said the Asari councilor, "you are on trial today concerning your continuation in the Alliance Military, Navy branch, today's portion of the trial will concern the charges being brought against you and given the chance to defend yourself. Tomorrow you will be visited by a psychologist and evaluated on whether or not you will be fit for duty, his findings will be taken into account on our verdict, and then two days later, we will have our verdict ready for you. Do you understand how these court proceedings will work?"
"Yes, ma'am," said Joker, his voice strong.
"The first charge is concerning your defection to the terrorist organization, Cerberus," said the Salarian councilor, "Do either of you deny that you did in fact defected to and then assisted the formerly mentioned organization?"
"I would like to point out to the Council and esteemed members of the military that I was proclaimed dead for two years," said Elissa sternly, "so technically, I was no longer affiliated with the Alliance when I was brought back to life and therefore did not truly defect to said terrorist organization."
There was muttering amongst the Council and the military officers over what Elissa had just said, she was actually rather impressed with her argument. They stopped muttering and the Council members turned to Elissa again.
"You have a point," said the Asari councilor, "but that—"
"That does not explain why you maintained you affiliation with Cerberus after you were reinstated as a member of the Alliance and as a Spectre!" interrupted the Turian councilor. "You could have left Cerberus and returned to the Alliance without question."
"Despite the fact Cerberus conducted questionable research," said Elissa defensively, pointing her finger at the Council, "they at least listened to me about the Collectors and the Reapers they were trying to do something about the impending invasion, unlike you three who practically waited until the last minute to believe the truth!"
"Not to mention," said Joker sharply, "you said nothing then about her affiliation with Cerberus even though you knew about it when you reinstated her as a Spectre and as a Commander."
"You will hold your tongue, Flight Lieutenant!" snapped the Turian councilor. Joker looked up at him menacingly, he wanted so badly to leap across the platform and beat the hell out of the councilor but knew that would not help his case.
"You mean you knew about Shepard being with Cerberus when you reinstated her?" asked Alliance Army General Windsor.
"Well, we, uh were told that she, uh. . ." said the Turian councilor, unable to form a decent defense. Elissa nearly did a backflip, no one had ever managed to leave any of the Councilors speechless, and Joker had shut the worst one of them up with just a simple statement of fact.
"I propose that since the Council was aware of Shepard's affiliation with Cerberus when they reinstated her as a Spectre, we dismiss this charge against her," said General Windsor and there was a murmur of speaking around him.
"I second the General's proposal," said Fleet Admiral Washburn, "there is no reason to put this against her if the Council has already accepted her affiliation with Cerberus by allowing her to retain her Spectre status."
"Was the Flight Lieutenant still with the Alliance when he was approached by Cerberus?" asked General Rowland of the Marines.
"Our reports say he was relieved of duty after the crash of the Normandy SR-1," said the Salarian councilor, "he was stripped of his rank and his pilot's license was taken away temporarily, after a period of time both were given back by the late Councilor Anderson."
"Fine, but was he with Cerberus when Anderson reinstated him back into the Alliance Navy?" asked General Rowland.
"Yes," said the Asari councilor, "based on the timeline, he was with Cerberus when he was reinstated by Councilor Anderson."
"Then the charge no longer applies to him either since he was not an Alliance soldier at the time he was with Cerberus," said General Rowland simply, "Anderson certainly saw to everything, didn't he?"
"Wait a minute," said the Turian councilor angrily, "What is going on here? We are supposed to be having a trial about these two, and now we are just dropping charges?"
"We gave them the chance to defend themselves against our accusations," said General Windsor solemnly, "They have both done so, quickly and efficiently, I might add."
"Well, this portion of the trial might not matter if the others provide the evidence we need," said the Turian councilor, waving his hand as he spoke.
"Commander Shepard, Flight Lieutenant Moreau," said the Asari councilor kindly, "you are free to go until this time tomorrow when you will both be evaluated by an Alliance psychologist."
"Thank you, Councilors, Generals," said Elissa and she saluted them, as did Joker, and they were given a salute in return from the generals. Everyone began to file out of the room, no one saying a word until they were out of ear shot, they did not want what they were saying to be used in the trial as potential evidence.
When they were outside Elissa rushed to Joker and embraced him, he was taken by surprise and had to brace himself quickly so he did not fall over with the force of her hug.
"Jeff, that was incredible!" exclaimed Elissa as they hugged, she loosened her hold on him enough to look at his face as she spoke, "I've never seen anyone shut that bastard up like that before, how did you do that?"
Joker blushed, his arms still around her waist, and he smiled at her this was the best compliment he had ever received for something that had nothing to do with flying, "It was nothing, Ellie, he had it coming besides it was a lot of fun to tell him off. I could not believe the crap that was coming out of his mouth, it's damn near disrespect."
"If we're done here, maybe we could go eat?" said Kaidan, his tone stern and almost angry as he stood there with his arms crossed.
"Great, where are we going?" asked Hannah, noticing the stance Kaidan was taking as he looked at Elissa and Joker embracing.
Elissa released her hold on Joker and went over to her mother, she hooked her arm through her mother's and they walked to the cab Hackett had summoned while they were standing outside of the Tower. "We're going to this great kabob place down in the Wards, it's run by this Greek chef from Earth, he makes phenomenal steak kabobs."
"I guess I better get EDI then," said Joker, as he fell in behind Elissa and her mother, "I'll take my own cab over to C-Sec, you guys go on ahead and get some lunch."
"I'll join you, Joker," said Jacob, "I wanted to call Brynn anyhow, see how Nick is doing, she said he was coming down with a cold."
"Cool, someone to split the fare with," said Joker smirking. He watched Hannah and Admiral Hackett get into the cab and he was amazed at how much Elissa looked like her mother, they could have been sisters they looked so much alike except for the eyes, Hannah's were bright blue whereas Elissa's were the perfect shade of green.
"See you there, uh, what was your name?" asked Hannah through the passenger's side window, obviously embarrassed that she had neglected to ask the young man's name earlier.
"Joker," said Joker grinning at her, almost laughing when she gave him a puzzled look. "It's my nickname from flight school, I'll tell you about it over lunch."
"Sounds like it is going to be very interesting," said Hannah smiling sweetly as she rolled up the cab window.
"See you over there, Joker, Jacob," said Kaidan as he got into the cab behind the driver.
Elissa waited by the door, not getting in right away, instead she brought Joker in for another hug, but this one was not as enthusiastic as before with this one she was trying to let him know how much she really appreciated him rushing to her defense. He wrapped his arms around her, keeping his hands above her waist, but she could feel him pull her closer to his body and she rested her head on his shoulder.
"Jeff, thank you so much," said Elissa, "I don't think I could have gotten through that without you."
"Hey, what are friends for, Ellie?" asked Joker as his cheeks turned a bright pink color. She smiled at him and nodded, and then he released her, turning to the cab he opened her door for her and helped her in she slid next to Kaidan.
"Don't be too late," said Elissa as he closed the door, she looked at him through the window, and they shared a smile before the cab pulled away. She turned around and watched as Joker and Jacob grew smaller the further they drove, she felt kind of bad for leaving them behind but knew it was for a good reason. Looking over, she saw Kaidan appearing to be quite upset so she reached over and held his hand, feeling the warmth and power in his grip as their fingers laced.
"So who is this handsome young man you're holding hands with, Jackie?" asked Hannah, turning around to face her daughter.
"Mom, this is Major Kaidan Alenko, my fiance," said Elissa happily, beaming at Kaidan who smiled back at her.
"Fiance?" asked Hannah, surprised, "How long have you two known each other?"
"Over three years, Mom," said Elissa defensively, "we met on the _Normandy_ when I first took command."
"Oh," said Hannah in an understanding manner, "Where does your family hail from, Major Alenko?"
"Kaidan, ma'am," said Kaidan, "and my family comes from Vancouver, British Columbia."
"It's beautiful there this time of year," commented Hannah, "I visited there when I managed to get some shore leave on Earth, Elissa's father and I had a great time visiting the beach."
"Where is Ella's father currently, ma'am?" asked Kaidan and immediately regretted asking when he saw the looks on both of the women's faces.
"He died a while back," said Elissa softly, "about the time I was on Elysium actually, the day I got my medal for bravery, I was also given a flag in honor of his service to the Alliance."
"I'm sorry, Ella, I didn't know," said Kaidan quietly, feeling like an absolute idiot.
"It's fine," said Hannah, dismissively, "Anyway, have you two decided on a place to get married yet?"
"Yeah, we were thinking of getting married in my family's orchard in Vancouver," said Kaidan before Elissa had the chance to speak.
"How nice," said Hannah in a tone that sounded almost too kind, "When were you planning on telling me, Jackie?"
"We just got engaged yesterday, Mom," snapped Elissa feeling overwhelmed, "I was going to tell you once this trial travesty was over."
"Okay, honey, I was just trying to make conversation," said Hannah in a snarky tone, "no need to bite my head off."
They sat in an awkward silence the rest of the cab ride over to the Wards entrance, when they got there, Hackett said something about needing to speak with a merchant about a delivery so he stayed in the cab and the rest got out and went into the markets. The place seemed less busy than before but there were still people crowding everywhere, going this way and that, making it difficult to navigate to the food court. When they arrived at the food court, Elissa directed them over to the kabob stand, where the line was longest.
"Ella, why do you always insist on eating here?" whined Kaidan as they waited in line, "There are perfectly good restaurants topside."
"Where else can you get fresh souvlaki that doesn't taste like it was made with imitation chicken?" asked Elissa, as she looked over the crowd on her tiptoes.
"Damn, it's a mad house in here," said Joker as he got in line with them, EDI on his arm, Elissa smiled at her but EDI merely looked away pulling Joker's arm closer to her body.
"Tell me about it," sighed Kaidan, shaking his head, "How were you able to find us, the place is packed with people?"
"I saw Ellie's head bobbing above the crowd," said Joker and he winked at her, she blushed a bright shade of pink. "Is Kostopolous still behind the grill?"
"I think so, either that or his son," replied Elissa as she continued to look over the heads of the people in front of her.
"Glad to see you again, Admiral Shepard," said Joker happily, "may I introduce my lovely girlfriend, EDI."
"Pleased to meet you, Admiral Shepard," said EDI, shaking Hannah's hand eagerly, still not taking her arm from Joker's, "I have read many articles on the extranet about your various accomplishments, you have quite the impressive record."
"Thank you, EDI," said Hannah uneasily, "Jackie, are you sure you want to eat here, we are going to a very nice restaurant tonight?"
"Yes," said Elissa, emphasizing the word, "Why is everyone asking me if I'm sure I want to eat here, I love this place?"
"Hey, I'm on your side here, Ellie," said Joker then he jumped in pain, "Damn, EDI, watch how tight you grip my arm it's not a toy."
"Why don't you three go and find us a table," said Kaidan, "there's no need for all of us to stand here in this line." The three of them nodded and left the line.
"You alright, Joker?" asked Hannah, eyeing the AI suspiciously, as they walked to the nearest empty table, "No broken bones?"
"Nah, I'm fine," said Joker, sitting down, rubbing his arm while glaring at EDI. "How did you know that I get broken bones easily?"
"In her all too infrequent emails, Elissa talked a great deal about you, often praising your abilities as a pilot," said Hannah kindly, as she too sat down, "In one sentence, I actually almost missed it since it was such a short line, she mentioned that you had Vrolik Syndrome."
"Really? She emailed you about me?" asked Joker, looking over at Elissa who was being held by Kaidan, seeing her in his arms caused him to tense up.
"Yeah, if it weren't for those missions of hers I'm sure you would have been the only thing she wrote about," said Hannah, ruffling Joker's cap like Elissa did.
"Was there any mention of me in her emails to you?" asked EDI, jealously creeping into her voice.
"Yeah, I think so, she said something about an evil robot that was being inhabited by the ship's AI," said Hannah coldly, and she watched as EDI narrowed her eyes at her, the malice behind them very real.
Elissa and Kaidan appeared with three trays full of souvlaki and baklava and they sat down across from EDI and Joker, placing the food in between. They ate in silence, all were too hungry to really talk about what had happened at the trial, and then Elissa heard a beep from her omni-tool. She opened it to find an anonymous message that read:
_Beware the three-headed beast that guards the gates to Hell, it has many keepers._
6. Something There
"You should tell the Council," said Kaidan, "there's no doubt about that." He and the rest of the squad including Hannah Shepard were sitting in the debriefing room of the _Normandy_. Elissa had called them all there to share the message she had received from an anonymous source while eating lunch a few hours ago, now she was asking them what they thought it could be and what she should do with the information it contained.
"Why should she? They already suspect her of conspiring with Cerberus, this would just confirm it for them," argued Joker and Elissa gave him a small smile.
"We don't even know if this has anything to do with Cerberus," said Kaidan sharply, "if this is a new threat then the Council and the generals should know about it."
"Shepard, what did the message say again?" asked Garrus, silencing Kaidan.
Elissa reopened her omni-tool and searched through the messages until she found the one she wanted, "Beware the three-headed beast that guards the gates to Hell, it has many keepers_._"
"A three-headed beast?" asked Tali, confused, "I thought most creatures had only one head."
"That description sounds familiar," said Elissa, closing her eyes and thinking about why that illustration sounded even vaguely recognizable. Her eyes snapped open, she had a theory about the creature being described and ran out of the room, startling everyone as they watched her bolting out of the debriefing room. Before the door closed she shouted, "No one leave!"
"I think she had a breakthrough," chuckled Hannah, "she used to do that when she was a kid, always running from the room whenever she got an idea, claiming she had to write it down or look it up before she forgot."
Joker suddenly got a flash of Elissa as a child, her golden brown hair streaming back as she ran, her green eyes sparkling with excitement at the prospect of a new idea. He felt himself smiling and had no idea why but he quickly stopped when he saw the looks he was getting from the crew and Admiral Shepard.
Suddenly Elissa came bolting back into the room, a thick green book in her hands, a huge smile plastered on her face.
"What did you find?" asked Jacob, starting to smile as well, the excitement Elissa was demonstrating was infectious.
"In Greek and Roman mythology," started Elissa, nearly breathless after her dash across the ship, "there is a three-headed dog that guards the entrance to the Underworld, preventing humans from entering and only letting souls through, the name of that creature was Cerberus."
"As if that wasn't obvious enough," muttered Kaidan, shaking his head.
"Stow the attitude, Major," snapped Hannah, spinning around to face him and Kaidan saluted out of respect, though Joker and a few others saw the look he gave her when she turned her back to him.
"So this is Cerberus again, right Lola?" asked James, trying to ease the tension brewing in the room.
"Yeah, it is, James," sighed Elissa her excitement now gone, "Now it's the last part of the message that's worrying me."
"Why's that, Shepard?" asked Garrus, his curiosity now piqued.
"Well, in the myth," said Elissa, flipping to the marked page in the book, "the dog Cerberus had only one keeper, Hades the Lord of the Underworld, which in our case would suggest the Illusive Man. The message says 'many keepers', so whomever sent it is implying that there are still people running Cerberus operations."
"Damn," whispered James, "so now someone else is running Cerberus? I thought we shut those guys down months ago, you know, when you shot their leader?"
"Apparently not, Vega, otherwise this message wouldn't have been sent," snapped Kaidan and James jumped to his feet, standing toe to toe with Kaidan.
"Listen up, Major," said James in a hard voice, "I don't take shit from anyone, and that includes you, rank means nothing when you insult me."
"I think you should remember your place, Vega, dogs belong at their master's feet," hissed Kaidan, his hands glowing blue, James cracked his knuckles menacingly.
"Vega, Alenko, stand down now!" shouted Elissa. The two soldiers looked at each other and then both stepped away and sat back in their respective seats, Elissa keeping her eyes on both of them.
"I think the crew needs to be dismissed, Elissa," whispered Hannah in Elissa's ear and she nodded in silent agreement.
"We'll discuss this later, until then, dismissed," said Elissa and Kaidan bolted out of there faster than anyone else, James hung back, waiting for Elissa who was standing in the center of the room shaking, she had never thought that Kaidan would say such a thing to a friend.
"Lola," said James quietly as he walked up to her, "I'm sorry for what happened, I—"
"You were just defending yourself," interrupted Elissa calmly, smiling at him, "I don't know what got in him, yesterday we were all laughing and joking, today we're at each others' throats over a cryptic message. What's next, we're going to pull guns on each other over someone taking the last dessert at dinner?"
James laughed, "When it does come to that, I hope I'm on your side."
"James," said Elissa in all seriousness, "if I were you, give the Major a wide berth, I'll try to keep him off the ship as often as I can but when he's on just stay away from him."
"Okay, Lola," said James, putting his arm around her shoulders, "I'll do that, but only because you asked me to."
"Thanks, James," said Elissa, grinning as they left the debriefing room, he then left to return to the workout room and she went to the the observation deck.
* * *
Joker was sitting in the observation deck, fingers laced and hands in his lap, looking out at the mechanics and engineers running all over making repairs to various ships, he was so absorbed in watching the goings on of the dock he did not hear Elissa enter behind him. Only when she sat down beside him did he even register her presence in the room.
"You're losing you touch," said Elissa smiling, "I managed to get from the door to right beside you and you didn't say a word."
"Sorry to disappoint you, Ellie," said Joker, moving closer to her, "I was just thinking about all of this."
"Any theories?" asked Elissa, now looking at the ceiling.
"I think Kaidan's wrong about you needing to tell the Council," said Joker, glancing over at Elissa, she had resumed her position of looking out of the window. Some wisps of hair had escaped her bun, and out of habit he reached over and gently put them behind her ear, his fingertips grazing her cheek as he did. He felt a bolt of electricity surge through him when his skin made contact with hers, he thought Elissa must have felt it too, since at his touch she closed her eyes and the tiniest smiled danced on her mouth.
"I agree with you," whispered Elissa, her body relaxing under his fingertips, then his fingers left her skin, she opened her eyes, and the feeling of relaxation went away. Neither of them spoke for a few seconds, both were trying to shake the feeling that had just hit them when their skin touched, neither one able to truly make sense of what they felt.
"Do you, uh, really think Cerberus is behind this?" asked Elissa nervously, picking the skin on her finger to quell her anxiety.
"I don't know, Ellie," said Joker, watching her pick her fingers, "this doesn't seem like their game, politics are a dirty business anyway, so it could be any number of people or reasons behind the message. Maybe we should have Liara trace the message, see where it came from if possible, after the trial of course."
"And after dinner with my mother," said Elissa standing, then offering her hand to Joker, which he took and she helped him stand as well, "wear something nice, you're coming with us too."
"Ellie, I'm not really part of the squad," said Joker, "besides, why would I want to sit there and watch Kaidan kiss up to your mother? It's hard enough to watch him schmooze the other officers on this ship, that dog comment was just what he needed to say to gain him further respect and admiration."
"Smart ass," smirked Elissa and they smiled at each other for a few seconds, neither one realizing it until they heard a noise behind them and Joker saw EDI standing in the doorway. He dropped his smile immediately just as EDI went walking off in the other direction, then with one look, they both agreed to leave the room and go their separate ways.
* * *
Elissa was standing in the bathroom, she was having trouble curling her hair, nothing was staying curled and it was frustrating her to no end that her hair refused to cooperate.
"I should have it written up for insubordination," muttered Elissa, as she released her hair from the hot iron.
"Having trouble, sweetie?" called Hannah from the bedroom and then she came in to see what was taking her daughter so long with her hair.
"Yeah, my hair has decided to mutiny," sighed Elissa and she put the curler on the counter.
"Here, let me help you," said Hannah chuckling and Elissa got on her knees while her mother stood behind her with the curling iron and she started what her daughter had decided not to finish. She took a small bunch of hair and put it in the iron, spraying hairspray on the curl while it was in the iron, something Elissa had not done.
"So Mom," said Elissa slyly, "what do you think of Kaidan?"
"As long as he makes you happy, I'm happy," said Hanna after a few moments pause.
"Mom, that's exactly what you said about Duncan," huffed Elissa, "and then he cheated on me with that slut Trisha and you said, 'I knew that would happen'. So what is your honest opinion about Kaidan?"
"Honey, why does it matter what I think, I'm not the one who's marrying him?" asked Hannah slightly exasperated with her daughter.
"Mom, you know I always come to you about boys," said Elissa wiggling on her knees as they went numb, "Why are you being so reserved?"
"If you want my honest opinion, you can't argue, since you asked for it," said Hannah, remembering several conversations that had to have that exact disclaimer, even at a young age Elissa had been more stubborn than a donkey and would argue when she was challenged in opinion. Being in the Navy had straightened that out for the most part, but she still would not back down from a challenge, as Hannah knew from reading some of the reports her daughter had written over the years.
"Alright, Mom, I won't argue," sighed Elissa, feeling the warmth from the newly made curl hit her cheek.
"I think you should reevaluate you decision to marry him," said Hannah as she prepped another curl, "after that display this afternoon, I half expected him to turn on you when you told him to stand down."
"Mom, Kaidan's always been a bit of a hot head," said Elissa in a tone that suggested this was not a big deal.
"Jackie, if this doesn't work out, there's always someone else who might be your perfect match," said Hannah thinking specifically of her daughter's pilot who always seemed to brighten up Elissa's day.
"Mom, I've known Kaidan for a very long time," said Elissa defensively, "and he's always been there for me—"
"How long have you been with Kaidan exactly?" interrupted Hannah, "From start to now."
"Umm we knew each other for about a year, and spent one night together," said Elissa, blushing fiercely as she regaled her private life to her mother, "then I died and we were apart for two years, then after I was resurrected, he and I had a major fight on a rescue mission to Horizon, he accused me of treason. Then we got back together last year and everything's been fine for the most part."
"So you two spent one night together and automatically you were his?" asked Hannah, "That's rather presumptuous of him, don't you think?"
"Well, I don't know, maybe," said Elissa, uneasily.
"Sounds to me like he was already scheming to be with you from the start," muttered Hannah as she pinned up Elissa's hair. "I still can't get over the fact he didn't know your father was dead, all of the time you two spend together, I would have thought you would have spoken about him at some point."
"I just assumed he knew," said Elissa in a raised tone, "I mean, even Joker knows."
"Does he now?" asked Hannah a coy grin on her face.
"Yeah, we talked about Dad a couple of times," said Elissa, not seeing her mother's face, "apparently Dad spoke at Jeff's flight school once and it made a lasting impression on him."
"Well, at least you know where you get your motivational speaking abilities," said Hannah as she finished Elissa's hair. "There, just right, now to get you a proper dress." Hannah left the bathroom before Elissa had a chance to stand up.
"Mom, I have a perfectly good dress already," said Elissa using the counter to help herself up off of the floor.
"It's just, you look so much better in color," said Hannah pulling out a royal blue dress for Elissa to wear.
"Mom, please," pleaded Elissa, "just let me wear my black dress."
"Nope, I get to dress up my daughter tonight," said Hannah firmly and she unzipped the dress and motioned for Elissa to go and put it on. Rolling her eyes, Elissa took the dress back into the bathroom and she put it on, managing to get it zipped without any help. When she walked out Hannah felt tears welling in her eyes, she had not ever seen her daughter so well dressed in a very long time.
The dress went down to Elissa's ankles, a slit on the right side that went from the hem to her mid-thigh, there was a sweetheart neckline that accentuated her breasts and elongated her neck. Elissa looked at herself in the mirror and sighed, she thought she looked ridiculous, "Mom, I look like one of the consorts."
"Oh, Elissa, you'd be worth a lot more than most of those women," said Hannah tugging the dress to smooth out some of the wrinkles. "Now you go and fix your make-up while I go and get ready I'll meet you there at the restaurant, I've already sent the directions to your omni-tool, I'll see you and your squad in about an hour or so. Bye, Jackie!"
Hannah left Elissa's cabin before her daughter could reply but like a diligent soldier, Elissa went to the bathroom and fixed her make-up following her mother's orders, she even put on the thin gold chain her father had given her when she had enlisted with the Alliance. After a few looks in the mirror, Elissa approved of her appearance immensely, glad that she had allowed her mother to dress her.
"Commander Shepard," said EDI through her original platform.
"Yes, EDI?" answered Elissa, still looking at herself in the mirror.
"There is a limousine waiting on the docks," said EDI, "the driver is claiming that Admiral Shepard sent it to you and the crew."
Elissa smiled, this was so typical of her mother, making even a simple dinner into a night out on the town. "Thank you, EDI, please inform those of the crew who are going to wait by the limo when they are finished getting ready."
"Of course, Commander," said EDI. Elissa decided that it was time for her to start heading out but she had something to do first.
"EDI, please inform the rest of the crew that they are allowed shore leave for the next three days until my trial is over," said Elissa as she got into the elevator and pressed the down button.
"Yes, Commander, does that include me?" asked EDI, ever since she had been implanted into that body, she had been considered part of the crew despite the fact she was still within the Normandy.
"Of course, EDI, you knew that already," said Elissa smiling as she departed the elevator, and she nearly walked right into James.
"Whoa, sorry, Lo—" started James but when he saw her all dressed up, he was unable to speak, he just stood there staring at her.
"It's alright, James," said Elissa, and when she saw the look on his face she smirked at him, "Is everything alright, James?"
"Uh, yeah, just never seen you in a dress before," said James, averting his eyes, "you look very nice, Lola."
"Thank you, James," said Elissa smiling, "Aren't you going to get ready? You're coming with us to dinner, right?"
"Not with the loco Major," sneered James, "I'm expecting a delivery of new punching bags anyhow, we should test them out together, see who can break the most."
"Sounds like a date," said Elissa and she play punched James in the shoulder.
"Don't tell the Major about our date, he might try to put me in my place again," said James brightly as he went into the elevator. Elissa nodded and went on her way down the CIC, noticing that most if not all of the men who were sitting around were having to pick up their jaws from the floor. When she got to the bridge, she saw that most of the crew was waiting in the cockpit with Joker, all of them looking their best. Liara was wearing a pink silk dress that had a V-shape cut in the back that ran from the shoulders to her hips, Garrus had polished up his black and white tux and looked very regal, Tali had put a new head covering on and her suit was even more beautiful than usual. Jacob had put on the red tux he had gotten married in, and Steve was wearing something of his own creation a tux of emerald silk with silver trimmings. Elissa looked at Joker and could feel her heart flutter slightly, he was wearing brown slacks with a nice light blue dress shirt underneath and a cream colored suit jacket on top, his cap was gone and he had combed his hair even trimmed his beard. She felt that she needed to do something other than stare at her crew members so she tried to think of something to say.
"You guys look great!" exclaimed Elissa, not really sure why she was so surprised at how nicely everyone cleaned up.
"She sounds surprised," smirked Steve.
"I guess she thinks we're all dogs," remarked Garrus.
"Hey, that was Kaidan not me," said Elissa, in a serious tone.
"Speaking of," said Liara, "where is the Major?"
"Well, last I saw he was going upstairs to change," said Jacob, "but that was over an hour ago."
"Do you think he's in the limo already?" asked Joker as EDI gently brushed something from his shoulder.
"Should we just leave without him?" asked Tali, fidgeting with her gloves.
"Like hell you will," said Kaidan from behind Elissa and she turned to see him wearing the same tuxedo he had worn when they had gone undercover at the casino a few months back.
"You're looking rather radiant tonight, Commander," said Kaidan, winking at her as he offered her his arm, which she took easily.
"Thank you, Major," said Elissa, blushing, "Are we all ready to go?" The group nodded and they all left the Normandy, eagerly getting into the limousine where soon they were all laughing and chatting about this and that.
"Who wants some champagne?" asked Kaidan, pulling the bottle out of the bucket of ice. There were resounding cheers as Kaidan popped the cork and poured several glasses full of the drink, passing them around to various people.
"Are there any emergency induction ports around here?" asked Tali and Liara handed her a straw from the bar, Liara even had a glass of champagne in her hand that she was sipping on.
"Liara, you're pregnant, should you really be drinking?" asked Elissa as she sipped her drink.
"Asari can drink while pregnant unlike humans," remarked Liara.
"Asari have it made," grumbled Tali who was already on her second glass of champagne.
"Sure you don't want a glass, Joker?" asked Kaidan offering a glass to him.
"Nah, I prefer a drink with an umbrella," said Joker and he kissed EDI's cheek.
"Where is your mother taking us for dinner, Shepard?" asked Garrus, moving uncomfortably in his seat, trying to adjust his tux.
"Not sure," said Elissa as she put her champagne flute down. "Either way, why question it? My mother's treating us to a nice night out, so enjoy it!"
"Do you think it's an engagement present?" asked Kaidan as he sat further back into the seat, pulling Elissa closer to him.
"I don't know," said Elissa, putting her head on his shoulder, watching the lights of the Citadel pass in the window as the limo sped along.
"I think we should toast Admiral Shepard!" shouted Jacob, obviously tipsy as he raised his glass.
"To Admiral Shepard!" shouted the rest and they all laughed, even Kaidan seemed to be having a good time despite what happened earlier. Elissa allowed herself to relax despite knowing what was going to happen tomorrow, there was good company and alcohol flowing, nothing could kill her buzz right now.
7. Dance the Night Away
They arrived at the restaurant a few minutes later, everyone looked out of the window and some gasped, they were eating at one of the most expensive places on the Citadel, the Horizon. The limo entered the cul-de-sac driveway in front of the restaurant and stopped, then a footman opened the door, helping the women that were exiting the car, then when they were all out of the limo the footman closed the door and the car drove to the parking garage. Kaidan offered Elissa his arm which she took and when they started walking up the stairs she turned saw that the other men in her squad had each taken one of the women by their arm as well: Joker had EDI on his arm, Garrus was with Tali, and Liara was with Jacob.
"Do you need a date, Steve?" asked Elissa as the doors swung open and Steve merely smiled.
"I've got someone waiting for me here, Elissa," said Steve as they entered. Elissa could hear everyone gasping behind her as they all filed into the restaurant, even she was speechless as she looked around, admiring the room. There was one big dining room, a dance floor, a high cathedral ceiling above the dining room that had a giant crystal chandelier hovering in the center, and all about them were people dressed in the finest of clothes.
"Do you have a reservation?" asked the Maitre'D to Elissa.
"We're here to meet my mother, Admiral Hannah Shepard, she said she had the reservation," replied Elissa, a little nervous.
"Ah, yes," said the Maitre'D as he looked down at his list, "Madame Shepard is already waiting for you in our VIP room, if you allow, I will lead you there."
"Thank you, sir," said Elissa and the Maitre'D motioned for the group to follow him to the VIP room. Elissa walked past several tables full of people she recognized from the embassy, mostly ambassadors but there were a few delegates as well, some smiled at her others gave her a rather nasty glare. She gripped Kaidan's arm a little tighter as she passed by the tables, nervous someone was going to pull a gun on her or her friends, Elissa was relieved when they reached the VIP room and saw her mother sitting there already.
"Madame Shepard, your guests," said the Maitre'D and he bowed to them all before leaving. Kaidan led her to the chair nearest her mother and pulled the chair out for her and she sat down, he then pushed in the chair and sat next to her, as the rest mimicked what he had done for her. When they were all seated, a waiter appeared with a couple of bottles of wine and a tray full of crystal wine glasses, he pulled out the corks and poured everyone a glass then passed one to each of the crew mates.
"I hope no one minds," said Hannah as she accepted her glass, "I pre-ordered the wine, but if it's not what you want, then please feel free to order whichever drink you like."
Elissa took a sip of the wine and nearly moaned with pleasure, this was the best wine she had ever tasted, it was sweet but tasted like it would go with any meal she ate including dessert.
"Mom, I have never tasted wine like this before," said Elissa happily.
"Most haven't, this wine is made from frozen white grapes that only are found in Antarctica," said Hannah as she sipped her wine, "I fell in love with this stuff after your father brought a bottle to your birth, to celebrate afterwards, of course."
"This is good," said Kaidan, "but I already have the wine for the wedding picked out, it's a very nice red, made from Venetian grapes."
"Red? Kaidan, I prefer white, you know that," said Elissa slightly upset that he had picked a wine without even asking her what she wanted.
"Well, our menu is beef, and red wine goes well with red meat," said Kaidan.
"Wait, when did you make all of these decisions?" asked Elissa, surprised he already had the menu, wine, and venue already picked out and they had only been engaged for about two days at most.
"I have been planning our wedding since before we got engaged," replied Kaidan, trying to make it sound like he was doing her a favor.
"Well what if she had said no?" asked Joker, who was sitting across from Elissa. "You would have made plans for nothing, Maj."
"I knew she would say yes," answered Kaidan smugly and Elissa really wanted to smack the smug look from his face.
"What else do you have already planned without my input?" asked Elissa, now very irritated with her fiance.
"Flowers, band, guest list," said Kaidan, ticking off his fingers as he named off categories, "let's see, the cake, and I made you an appointment for your dress."
"Kaidan, why did you do this?" asked Elissa in a quiet whisper, "I was kinda hoping to plan the wedding, not do nothing."
"Ella, I just wanted you to be relaxed," said Kaidan putting his arm around her shoulders. "Weddings are stressful and you deserve to be stress-free after all you've been through—"
"Kaidan, you're acting as if I have a fragile demeanor that will crack the moment I experience the tiniest bit of trouble," interrupted Elissa.
"I just wanted you to be happy," said Kaidan taking her hand in his.
"I'd be happier if I was allowed to plan my own wedding," said Elissa through gritted teeth.
"Ella, this isn't the time or place, we'll talk about this later," said Kaidan, also through gritted teeth, trying to make the situation not as tense as it was becoming.
"What are you going to have to eat?" asked Hannah, turning to Elissa, trying not to reach across her daughter and punch her future son-in-law.
"I'm going to have the swordfish with—" started Kaidan.
"I wasn't asking you, dear, I was asking my daughter," replied Hannah looking at Elissa, Kaidan turned bright red as he heard a snicker or two from around the table.
"I am going to have the ricotta stuffed filet mignon," said Elissa grateful to her mother for intervening.
"What about you, Joker, dear?" asked Hannah, deliberately turning to Joker and ignoring Kaidan.
"I think I'll be dining on the rotisserie chicken," said Joker, trying not to look at the glare he was getting from Kaidan from across the table.
"Excellent choice," said Hannah approvingly, "EDI, is there anything we can get you?"
"No, thank you, Admiral," said EDI pleasantly, "I will merely sit and observe while adding to the conversation when I see the proper time for my own input."
"How very kind of you, dear," said Hannah nodding politely.
"What are you going to have, Admiral Shepard?" asked Joker, trying now not to smile as Kaidan continued to glare at him.
"Hannah, please," said Hannah, patting Joker on the arm, "and I believe I'll be having the veal, it's very delicious."
"Sounds like an excellent choice, Hannah," said Kaidan trying to be polite to his future mother-in-law.
"Admiral Shepard to you, Major," said Hannah reprovingly with her eyes slightly narrowed.
"This isn't going to end well," Elissa heard Garrus mutter from the other end of the table and she resisted the urge to laugh. Shortly after that comment, the waiter came by and took their orders, then chatter resumed though Kaidan did not talk much to Elissa, Hannah, or Joker but more to Liara and Steve who were sitting close to him.
"So how did you get your nickname, Joker?" asked Hannah, smiling at him. "You never did get the chance to tell me at lunch."
"My instructor from flight school," said Joker, taking a sip of his wine before continuing, "I never really smiled much in class, so she thought she'd be funny and call me Joker, the name just stuck with me."
"I haven't seen you not smiling," commented Hannah, "why were you so glum in class?"
"I was working too hard," said Joker simply, "I wanted everyone there to know that any and all marks I earned was because of time and energy spent on studying not because I was a charity case."
"I'm glad you were able to accomplish what you had set out to do," said Hannah, "I've known several pilots who couldn't do half of what you have been able to, flying into a volcano is risky for even a veteran pilot."
"You know about that?" asked Joker brightly, looking at Elissa who smiled at him.
"Of course I do," said Hannah, "I know about every time you pulled my daughter's ass out of the fire, I was very glad to hear she had someone looking out for her."
"Someone had to, I mean she doesn't exactly listen when you tell her not to go somewhere," said Joker winking at Elissa who smirked at him.
"Tell me about it," sighed Hannah patting her daughter's hand, "When she was about eleven, I told her not to go walking on this frozen pond near our house, she did listen actually but then a friend of hers decided to go out on the water. Jackie told her not to, and she was right to warn her, her friend fell through the ice and Jackie charged out there without a second's hesitation. She pulled her friend out of the ice, then was scolding her as they got back on dry land, I then reprimanded Jackie for not listening to me about going onto the ice."
"That's what happened with Ilos," said Joker, looking at Elissa as he spoke, "The Council told her not to go, we stole the Normandy, made it to Ilos and then she saved the Citadel and the Council. How do they repay her? They send her on a fool's errand looking for Geth after telling her she's on probation."
"See, that's why I'm glad I only have to answer to other admirals instead of the Council," said Hannah as the food arrived on silver trays. The chatter stopped and was replaced with the sounds of scraping and clattering of silverware against the china dishes, everyone was eating and were enjoying their food too much to stop for much talk.
"Will anyone want to see the dessert cart?" asked the waiter as he prepared to leave.
"Bring it out in about twenty minutes," said Hannah, as she cut into her veal and the waiter nodded, "I think everyone will be wanting something sweet by then."
It did not take Elissa twenty minutes to eat her meal, so she sat there with her empty plate in front of her as she watched everyone around her still eating, then she heard the music playing and saw some of the guests dancing on the dance floor. Elissa started to sway slightly in her seat in time with the music, wanting desperately to be out there dancing with the rest of the people.
"Kaidan, would you like to dance?" asked Elissa, hopefully.
"No, not really, Ella," replied Kaidan as he watched one of the waitresses pouring a glass of wine for Steve.
"Oh, okay," said Elissa disappointed, she looked down at her lap, picking her fingers to keep herself from thinking too much about the music and dancing.
Joker looked at her, he could tell she was upset that Kaidan had rejected her offer to go dancing, so he boldly stood and offered her his hand, "Come on, Ellie, I'll dance with you."
Elissa looked up and smiled at him, accepting his hand and he led her out of the VIP room, shocked stares following them as they left.
"I have to see this," said Jacob, when they were gone, and he stood as well along with the rest of the table and they stood with the rest of the crowd as Elissa and Joker walked onto the dance floor.
Joker put his hand on her waist, pulled her close and then they began to waltz, looking as if they were flying across the dance floor. He twirled her with ease, not hitting anyone as they moved across the floor, he was glad when he saw Elissa smiling as they continued to dance impressing their friends.
"I'm surprised he knows how to dance," whispered Garrus to Steve.
"Looks like they're really having a good time," said Jacob and Tali nodded.
"They look good together, don't they?" observed Hannah to Liara who nodded and Kaidan glared at her.
"He looks like an idiot," muttered Kaidan as he watched on, fuming.
Elissa was amazed at the grace Joker possessed, he had told her he did not dance out of fear of breaking a bone but here on the dance floor, no one would have believed him if told them he had Vrolik Syndrome. The way his legs effortlessly moved in time with the music and the fact he did not have to stare at his feet to know where he was going proved that there was certainly more to him than meets the eye. She enjoyed the feeling of his hand on her waist and the way of her hand felt in his, she surrendered herself to his control and much like how he could make the _Normandy_ dance, he was making her waltz. She did not notice the shocked faces from her friends, the glowing smile from her mother as she and Joker danced by, or the hateful glare that Kaidan was firing at them.
_'She's in my arms, I'm actually dancing with her,'_ thought Joker as he pulled Elissa along with him, her arm was around his shoulders and he was holding her hand, not only that but his legs did not hurt in the slightest. Looking into her eyes, he saw what he had earlier that day while talking in the observation deck, the way her eyes gleamed in the light and her wide smile made his heart soar with joy he had not felt before and he had no intention of letting it stop for as long as he could. The music began to slow down, indicating that the song was going to end in the next few seconds and when it did, Joker dipped Elissa as everyone around them broke out into a round of applause. He was in no hurry to pull her back up, they were both breathlessly laughing from exhaustion and joy, enjoying the applause they were receiving and when he did help her up he was very careful not to get caught by her high heel.
"Wow, Jeff, I had no idea you could dance like that," said Elissa as she caught her breath.
"My sister taught me," said Joker as he escorted her off of the dance floor, "she needed a partner when she was learning and I was her default guy."
"Well, you're aces," said Elissa as they walked back to their friends whom had all gathered by the bar.
"Joker that was amazing!" shouted Steve, passing him a drink with an umbrella.
"I did not realize you could dance!" exclaimed Tali from atop one of the stools.
"You never cease to impress, huh, Joker?" asked Garrus as he clapped him on the back.
Joker blushed as praise was showered down on him, though none of the words his friends were saying could elicit the same feelings that the way Elissa was looking at him in that moment was.
"Where's the Major?" asked Elissa when she saw he was not standing with them.
"Last I saw, he was talking up some waitress," said Jacob and pointed behind Elissa and she saw him leaning up against a wall with a pretty brunette laughing at whatever he was saying.
"Lousy bastard," muttered Elissa darkly, now trembling with rage, "EDI, make sure that the Major does not enter my cabin from now until I say so."
"Yes, Commander," said EDI, "revoking his access now."
"Thank you, EDI," said Elissa grateful that EDI was not being as cold to her as before at least for the moment.
"Jackie, are you going to be alright?" asked Hannah, placing her hand gently on her daughter's shoulder.
"Yeah, I will be," said Elissa, turning back to the group, "I need something strong to drink, right now."
"No, absolutely not," said Hannah firmly, "This is not the time to be drinking, just relax, he's not making out with her just talking with her."
"Fine," sighed Elissa as she sat down at the bar, she glanced over and saw that Joker was now standing with EDI, his arm around her waist.
"Maybe you and I should dance, Jeff," said EDI, looking over at Elissa, trying to be heard over the clamor of the other patrons.
"In a few, EDI," said Joker, kissing her cheek, "my legs need a few moments."
"Hey, Steve, where's your date?" asked Garrus as he pulled Tali closer.
"Right here," said Steve happily as an attractive man in a dark blue suit approached the group, he kissed Steve before turning to the rest of the group.
"Hello, I'm Edward Oakley," said Edward, smiling at them, "I'm very happy to meet all of you, Stevie talks about you guys all of the time, mostly about a certain Commander Shepard, where is she?"
"Hi, call me Elissa," said Elissa, shaking hands with Edward, "it's a pleasure to meet you, please forgive me, I just saw my fiance chatting up a waitress so if I seem out of sorts that's why."
"Understandable," said Edward, "Stevie, would you like a drink?"
"Thank you, Eddie," said Steve as Edward ordered him a Bloody Mary.
"Stevie?" said Joker, trying to control the grin that was spreading across his face.
"Shut up, Jeffie," said Steve in a mocking tone, and Joker blushed.
"Hmm, I think I shall start to call Jeff 'Jeffie' as per your suggestion, Lieutenant Cortez," said EDI and Joker looked as if someone had just canceled Christmas.
"Good idea, EDI," smirked Steve as he accepted his drink from Edward, "Eddie and I are going to head to the Flux in a few minutes, does anyone want to join us?"
"Tali?" asked Garrus, looking at her with hope.
"Sure, what harm could it do?" said Tali as Garrus stood up.
"Liara, Jacob, do you guys want to come?" asked Steve.
"Sure," said Liara and Jacob nodded.
"Joker, are you and EDI going with us?" asked Tali.
"I don't really feel like going out, but if EDI wants to, I won't stop her," said Joker and EDI patted him on the shoulder.
"I will go," said EDI cheerfully, "I would very much like to go dancing at the Flux, and with the Commander indisposed, we should have a better time."
Elissa's head shot up and she gave EDI a surprised look, that was the last thing she had expected to come out of the AI's mouth.
"And on that note," said Steve, standing quickly, "I think we should grab the limo and head over there."
"I agree," said Garrus and Tali nodded, those who were going to the club quickly exited the restaurant including EDI, not giving Elissa the chance to reply to what she had said.
Hannah and Joker stood there looking at Elissa's shocked face, neither one knowing what to say to make her cheer up.
"Ellie, I—" started Joker.
"I don't want to hear it," snapped Elissa, turning around to face him, "I already have enough crap to deal with and now I have a mouthy AI to take care of, all because of you." She pointed a finger accusingly at him as she stood up.
"Because of me?" asked Joker defensively.
"You unshackled her which allowed her to then transplant herself into that body," said Elissa harshly, not really angry with him but she needed to vent somehow and unfortunately he was standing there, "Either you get her back in line or I'll dismantle her myself." She stormed off to the outside of the restaurant, tears threatening to spill, her body shaking with unreleased rage.
"Don't take what she says personally, Joker," said Hannah when she saw his face, "She's just upset about the trial, and that fiance of hers isn't helping matters and neither is EDI, you just happened to be standing here when she lost it."
"I know," said Joker quietly, "I know, she's not having the best week right now."
"I think she needs a friend right now," said Hannah putting her hand on Joker's shoulder, "Take her back to the ship, I'll deal with her fiance." She motioned her head towards Kaidan who was now sharing a drink with the waitress he had been talking to earlier.
"Will do, Hannah," said Joker smiling and he walked out of the restaurant, he saw Elissa sitting on a bench with her hair unpinned. He sat next to her and pulled off his jacket to give to her as a gesture of good will.
"Thanks, Joker," said Elissa accepting the jacket and giving him a weak smile. "Where's my mom and Kaidan?"
"Back inside," said Joker, "your mom's trying to pry the Major away from that waitress he was flirting with, they're having some drinks."
"Bastard," sighed Elissa, running her fingers through her loose curls, "Why did he have to do this to me?"
"You've already answered your own question, he's a bastard," said Joker, shrugging his shoulders, "I'm under orders to take you back to the _Normandy_ but if you prefer to go somewhere else, I'll follow you there."
"I think I just want to go for a walk," said Elissa, standing, "Do you want to come with me?"
"Of course," said Joker standing with a little difficulty, "but we might have to make that a drive, my legs are screaming for me to put them out of their misery."
"I think there's a cab stand," said Elissa, giving him a sweet smile, then she hailed a cab over and they climbed in.
"Think your mom and the Major will be fine?" asked Joker as he slid into the cab.
"Yeah, she can handle anything," said Elissa with a tone of admiration.
"You two are a lot alike," said Joker as he relaxed in the plush seats, Elissa blushed.
"Where to?" asked the cabbie.
"Just drive around," said Elissa as she leaned back into the seat as well, "we'll pay you, I promise."
"Okay," said the cabbie as he pulled into traffic. Joker looked over and saw that Elissa had her head pressed against the glass, looking out gloomily at the lights zooming by as they drove along. He could tell she was thinking about Kaidan and what the outcome of the trial might be he knew he needed to bring her back out of her mind, one of the most dangerous places in the galaxy, so he reached over and pulled her close to him letting her head rest on his shoulder.
"Joker, I—" started Elissa but between the warmth of his body and the feeling of comfort she was getting from being in his arms, she could not bring herself to speak, there was nothing to say right now.
"Comfy, Ellie Belly?" asked Joker and he laughed at the look on her face, it was one of fury and embarrassment, utterly priceless in his book.
"She told you," said Elissa, sitting up looking at his smiling face, wanting to punch him but knowing that would not make him forget her most embarrassing nickname of all.
"Yeah, at the trial," said Joker trying to stifle his laughter, "I think it's cute."
"That's what you said about 'Ellie'," scoffed Elissa as she leaned back against his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, she could feel his fingers working into her hair and massaging her head.
"Ellie's cuter," said Joker, kissing her forehead softly, Elissa could feel a chill go down her spine as his lips touched her skin.
"Joker, you're the best," yawned Elissa, closing her eyes as she snuggled against Joker, pulling his jacket around her like a blanket.
"Tell me something I don't know," said Joker quietly, smiling down at her, he knew she was sound asleep when he felt her breathing deepen.
"Your wife, she is very pretty," said the cabbie as they continued to drive.
"Yeah, she really is," said Joker dreamily, he was still looking at her though periodically glancing out of the window as the rest of the world went by.
"How long have you two been married?" asked the cabbie.
"Umm about four, five years now," said Joker, thinking about how much time they had served together on the _Normandy_ and the time he had spent watching Cerberus rebuild her.
"Any kids?" asked the cabbie, merging into another lane.
"One, but she's plenty for right now," replied Joker, now thinking of just the _Normandy_, which was really just like a big baby that he and Elissa were responsible for. "What about you?"
"Oh, I have three kids," said the cabbie, "Robert, Ursula, and Ben. My wife, Laura, is pregnant with our fourth. Our kids have a bet on what the sex is, so far we have a fifty-fifty split since Ben's too young to understand exactly what's going on, personally I'm hoping for another little girl."
"How come?" asked Joker as Elissa moved slightly in her sleep.
"Don't get me wrong I love my sons, but daughters, they give a whole new meaning to your life," said the cabbie, his voice getting a slight lilt to it as he spoke about what it meant to have a daughter.
"So mysterious cabbie who is sharing life wisdom with a total stranger," said Joker, "can I get a name?"
"Marshall Stenson," said Marshall cheerfully, "Do you and your wife live around here?"
"Yeah, we have an apartment close by," said Joker when he realized they were in the housing district of the Citadel, he then told Marshall the address to Anderson's apartment and soon they were pulling up to its outside.
"Ellie," said Joker, shaking her slightly, "Ellie, wake up, you gotta walk and I can't carry you. Come on, Ellie."
Elissa's eyes fluttered open, she blinked a couple of times, then looked up and saw Joker's smiling face, she smiled back and said groggily, "Hey, where are we?"
"The apartment," said Joker as he opened the door and she sat up, careful not to press on any pressure points, then sat back against the seat.
Joker got out of the cab and offered her his hand, "Here, Ellie."
Elissa took his hand and with his help she was able to get out of the cab, without falling on her face, and she stood there while he paid Marshall.
"Here," said Joker, handing him a small bundle of credits, "buy that baby girl of yours something nice, on me."
"Thanks, sir," said Marshall, gratitude radiating from his smile.
"Call me Joker," said Joker as he watched Marshall put the money in the glove compartment.
"See you around, Joker," said Marshall as he prepared to leave.
"Hey, if you do have a little girl, name her Jacqueline," said Joker, patting the gentleman on the shoulder.
"I like that name," said Marshall nodding, "I think we will, thanks again, Joker."
Marshall drove off and Joker went back to Elissa who was still patiently standing by the door to the apartment, when he turned around he saw that she had a funny look on her face.
"What?" chuckled Joker as he pulled a key out of his pocket.
"Why are you on a first name basis with our cab driver?" asked Elissa as Joker unlocked the door.
"While you were sleeping, I was networking," said Joker as the door swung open.
"What did you tell him?" asked Elissa as she walked in, she stood in the hallway, waiting for Joker to close the door.
"I told him that if he had another daughter, to name her Jacqueline," said Joker as he closed and locked the door, double checking just to be sure.
"Why Jacqueline?" asked Elissa as they walked into the living room, "Why not Elissa?"
"Because that's your name, and only you should have that name," said Joker as he walked to the kitchen, leaving Elissa standing there stunned and flattered, that was the sweetest thing she had ever been told.
8. You're My Best Friend
Elissa made her way to the kitchen where she saw Joker pulling out a large bowl, spoons, and a gallon of vanilla ice cream, when she got closer she heard him humming to himself as he deftly tossed the ice cream scoop and caught it behind his back.
"Very impressive," said Elissa as she sat at the bar.
"Thank you, thank you," said Joker, bowing in a very showy manner before going back to the ice cream.
"What are you making?" asked Elissa as he piled scoop after scoop into the bowl.
"The galaxy's largest ice cream sundae," said Joker as he reached for the chopped peanuts from the cabinet above him, "Cherries and whipped cream okay?"
"On the sundae, right?" teased Elissa, and she could see the color rush to his face, making her laugh.
"Yeah, on the sundae, yep," said Joker chuckling nervously, trying to focus on the sundae but his mind was wandering to other rooms and other uses for the dessert toppings.
Elissa came up behind him and swiped a dollop of whipped cream with her finger and placed it on the end of Joker's nose, what was left she licked off of her finger, watching his face produce a look of fake annoyance and amusement while she giggled.
"You think you're so funny, huh?" asked Joker, picking up the can of whipped cream and shaking it a bit.
"I like to think so," said Elissa smirking at him.
"What do you think of this?" asked Joker and he sprayed her with the whipped cream, she stood there stunned while he loudly laughed. The whipped cream was all over her and that section of the kitchen, she looked horrified and surprised, he was standing there satisfied and amused as a glop of whipped cream fell from her hair and onto the floor.
"I hate you," muttered Elissa as she reached for a cloth to wipe the whipped cream from her face, she had to admit though, he had gotten her good.
"No you don't," said Joker, returning to the sundae, putting a handful of sprinkles on top and then a few cherries.
"You're right," said Elissa as she wiped her face and then her hands, "I'm going to jump in the shower, get this crap off of me, bring that monster of a sugar rush up to my room in about five minutes."
"Aye, aye, Commander," said Joker as he poured chocolate syrup around the mountain of whipped cream and sprinkles he had created.
* * *
Elissa smiled as she climbed the stairs to the second floor, careful not to drip more whipped cream on the floor, looking back she saw Joker still focused on the sundae and she felt her smile get even bigger as she watched him. Then she felt some whipped cream sliding down her forehead and decided that it was really time to get in the shower, so she rushed upstairs and quickly took off her dress. She stepped into the shower and audibly sighed when the hot water started to pour over her head and down her body, the whipped cream mingling with the water as it went down the drain. She reached over and grabbed her bottle of shampoo, poured some in her hand, then lathered it into her hair feeling relief as she washed her hair, then she grabbed her soap and covered herself in the suds. When she was satisfied that there was no longer any whipped cream in her hair or on her body, she turned off the water and pulled on the fluffy robe that was hanging next to the shower door.
* * *
Joker was already waiting in her room, the sundae complete and sitting on the bedside table so it would not fall on to the bed, he had settled himself on the bed his hat over his eyes as he listened to Elissa getting out of the shower. Under his hat he smiled as he thought about her covered in whipped cream and the look on her face when he had stopped spraying her, and then about holding her in his arms as they danced across the room at the restaurant, this night had been the most fun they had had together since that night they had stayed up playing gin. He looked up when he heard the bathroom door slide open and he just stared at her with wide eyes, she was wearing a robe that only went mid-thigh and her hair was just crazy curly as ringlets fell down her back.
"What are you looking at, Joker?" asked Elissa as she sat down on the bed next to him, reaching for the sundae.
"The amazing architecture," said Joker, trying to sound serious but he knew it was a weak excuse at best. Elissa smiled and took a bite of the sundae, he watched her close her eyes in pleasure when the ice cream hit her tongue and she even moaned slightly behind her closed lips.
"Does this sundae get the Shepard Seal of Approval?" asked Joker as he prepared his bite, she nodded enthusiastically and he laughed, "Guess that answers my question."
"It's been forever since I've had an ice cream sundae," said Elissa after she had swallowed and she was scooping another bite onto her spoon, "How do you always know what I need?"
"I'm psychic," said Joker through a mouthful of ice cream.
"Well whatever you are, Joker, you're still the best," said Elissa as she popped a cherry in her mouth, relishing the taste as it burst between her teeth.
"Ellie," said Joker as he swallowed, "can I ask you something?"
"Sure," said Elissa as she prepared another huge bite, "ask me anything."
"Okay," said Joker, thinking about how best to ask his question, "Is Kaidan really what you want? I mean, yeah, he's a major and a powerful biotic, and I guess he's an attractive guy since women always seem to swarm around him, but is that what would make you happy?"
"Why are you asking me that, Joker?" asked Elissa, raising her eyebrow.
"Answer me then I'll answer you," replied Joker as he took a bite.
"Fair enough," said Elissa, "I don't know anymore, I thought he was what I wanted, he was there for me and supported my decisions. Now, I feel like I don't know him anymore, I mean six months ago he wouldn't have said what he did to James and I thought he would allow me to make my own decisions about the wedding, among other ones."
"Maybe you never really did know him," said Joker and he was quick to continue when he saw the look she was giving him, "Look at it this way, you've known him as Major Kaidan Alenko, second human Spectre and hero of the biotics. You didn't know him when he was just Kaidan Alenko, normal guy and no one special, now you are getting to know that person and that person is completely different from what you've known thus far."
Elissa looked at him and was speechless, his logic made sense, maybe she really did not know the man she was going to marry, "You might have a point there, Joker."
"Now should I answer your question?" asked Joker as he licked a droplet of melted ice cream from his spoon's handle.
"Sure," sighed Elissa, she was thinking about what he had said about Kaidan, wondering if he was really right about his observations.
"I asked because you don't seem happy anymore," said Joker as he lowered his eyes.
"How do you mean?" asked Elissa, surprised.
"When you and Kaidan were together before the end of the war," started Joker, "you seemed to carry yourself with confidence, now you're slouching and seem to doubt yourself more than you ever have."
"Uh, wow, that's surprisingly observant," said Elissa, shaking her head in disbelief.
Joker smirked at her, "I'm full of surprises."
"My turn to ask a question," said Elissa, rolling a cherry in chocolate sauce, "What is there exactly between you and EDI that makes your relationship work?" She put the cherry on her spoon and then popped it in her mouth.
"Lets see," said Joker, thinking about the last few months, "She's smart, she's funny, and she knows a great deal about ships."
"Is that it?" asked Elissa, convinced there had to be more, "That's what keeps you two together? Damn, sounds like a pretty easy relationship."
"Yeah," sighed Joker, looking down at the ice cream, "There are some downfalls, for one we can't really argue or debate since she can just pull up statistics and facts at will so she's always proving me wrong, she only finds jokes that involve death funny, and she's actually more of a ship than a person so it gets kind of weird when you look at the technical aspect of it."
"I thought she was your ideal woman," smirked Elissa, "I mean, you couldn't get over her new platform, you wanted to bake a cake."
"True," said Joker, laughing slightly, "but it's really hard to get close to someone who doesn't have actual emotions, plus she questions everything I do trying to understand, but I know that even with years of research she won't truly comprehend human affection."
"I'm guessing you've dated non-robotic women before, so you can make a sufficient comparison?" asked Elissa, as she downed another bite of the sundae.
"Yeah, but those never ended well," said Joker gloomily, as he poked at a scoop of ice cream, "Most of them tried to be accommodating to my disease, you know, they didn't squeeze me or hold anything too tight. Eventually they'd get tired of doing that and would say the bull shit line of 'This is too much for me' and they were gone."
"Would I be crossing a line if I asked about your sex life?" asked Elissa and she watched Joker's cheeks go bright red.
"I've been with a couple of girls," said Joker avoiding eye contact with her, "It was kinda like, 'Wham, bam, thank you, Joker' but without the 'wham' or the 'bam'. That used to really piss me off, when the woman I was with babied me even during sex, now I just don't give a fuck anymore."
"Really?" asked Elissa skeptically as she slurped some of the melted ice cream.
"Well, I mean, I do care about sex, just not about if I break during it or not," said Joker, not really sure if that was what he meant or not, but he was just trying to get off this subject fast.
"Uh huh, sure," said Elissa nudging him with her elbow, "Do you and EDI ever. . . ?"
"No," sighed Joker, this was a common question he got, mostly from the guys on the ship, and he always answered the same way every time.
"I thought Mordin gave you those files," said Elissa giving him a smug look.
"Yeah, and EDI didn't respond," said Joker, blushing more, "we tried and it failed."
"So you went back to your extranet searches," said Elissa giggling at the mortified look she had managed to create on his face.
"Pretty much," said Joker and he looked at her, in the soft light she seemed to glow, every feature enhanced by the lack of light.
"Do you miss being with a human girl?" asked Elissa, casting her eyes away from him.
"There are aspects I miss," admitted Joker, trying not to give too much of the truth away.
"Such as?" asked Elissa, now very curious.
"The organic beauty," started Joker, glancing at her as he spoke, "the softness of skin, the warmth of a body, hearing a heart beat, being touched and feeling calluses."
"Like these?" asked Elissa and for emphasis she brushed her hand across his arm and saw goosebumps form from where she had touched.
"Exactly like those," whispered Joker, trying not to move, enjoying the touch too much.
Elissa could feel her hand trembling as she touched his skin and when she reached his hand she did not remove her's but instead she slid it into his and he squeezed. Gingerly she squeezed back, then she moved the bowl to the table and moved in closer to him, wondering the entire time what she was doing but not stopping any progression. She was right next to him, hardly any space was separating them now, they were so close she could see the flecks of green in his grey eyes and even see his chest rising and falling with each breath he took.
* * *
"Elissa," whispered Joker in a slightly husky voice and with his free hand he caressed her cheek, relishing the feel of her flesh, surprised at how soft she actually was. His body seemed to take over his mind, he could feel himself leaning in closer to her, his hand guiding her face to his, his eyes closing slightly. Then he felt her lips brushing against his, painfully teasing him with how soft they were and he could not bear it any longer and he pressed his lips gently against hers in a tentative kiss that lit his entire body on fire. He felt her kiss him back, the kiss now becoming much more passionate, his hand dropping to her neck pressing her closer as her arm wrapped around his neck and then he twisted his fingers in her hair. He had by now let go of her other hand and slid it around her waist and he could feel them falling towards the inviting bed and when they landed, she was on her back and he was above her, he quickly moved his hands so he could support himself. Opening his mouth just slightly, he felt her tongue slide in and his started to dance with hers, she tasted like cherries and it was driving him crazy! He could feel her hands roaming over his chest and down his arms while his traveled up her lean legs, stopping at the hem of the robe though he desperately wanted to touch more.
* * *
She felt as if her entire being had just been ignited when his lips touched hers and she surprised herself by kissing him back with more passion that she thought she had in her, the way he felt against her as they kissed was so natural. She could feel them sliding down towards the bed, he was on top of her and she could feel his hands leave her body as he placed them beside her shoulders. This kiss was wonderful, she wanted more to experience more of this amazing show of affection and she slid her tongue in when he took a quick breath of air and that made the kiss even better! Feeling his tongue against hers sent chills down her spine, this type of affection had been what she wanted, was craving in a lover and he was giving it to her without hesitation. She brought her hands up, gently moving them over his chest she could feel how muscular he really was underneath his clothes, making their way down his arms even then she could feel the power they possessed. He was touching her legs, caressing them as his hand climbed higher until it stopped at the hem of the robe, _'Damn this robe!'_ thought Elissa as she pulled Joker in closer, then an image popped in her head of her fiance and of EDI.
As if reading her mind, Joker instantly broke the seal and sat up on his knees, looking down at her in shock when he realized what they had been doing.
"Oh my God," said Elissa, sitting up, horrified.
"Oh shit," said Joker, burying his face in his hands, mortified and frustrated.
"Oh my GOD!" exclaimed Elissa, trying not scream out in frustration and anger.
"Oh SHIT!" said Joker and with his face still behind his hands he fell sideways onto the bed, this was not what he had planned on doing tonight, but damn it felt good, and he felt horrible for thinking it.
"What are we going—" started Elissa.
"I don't know," finished Joker, as he dropped his hands and looked at her, she was sitting on the edge of the bed, as far away from him as she could get. He wanted to reach and pull her over, stroke her hair and kiss her lips again, however the look on her face is what killed the urge.
"Joker, I'm so sorry, I—" started Elissa again, but he held up his hand to silence her.
"What are you sorry for?" asked Joker, "I'm the one who should be on my knees asking for your forgiveness."
"But what about EDI?" asked Elissa, climbing up the bed and sitting next to him.
"I don't know, but what I do know is that Kaidan is going to incinerate my ass when he finds out," said Joker, adjusting his hat.
"Why would I tell him?" asked Elissa, "It was just a kiss." Though as she said that she was thinking, _'The most amazing kiss in my life.'_
"You're right, it was just a kiss," said Joker, trying to convince himself that it was just a simple kiss though the throbbing against his zipper was clearly telling him different.
"Joker, maybe you should go to the guest room," said Elissa, slowly easing off the bed, "or I could and you sleep here."
"Ellie, this is your house, your bed, your rules," said Joker standing, his legs shaking slightly and he winced as he stood straight.
Elissa saw him wince and knew he needed to stay there, "Stay here, that's an order, I'll go to the guest room."
"Nope," said Joker, starting to walk to the door, "I'll be there if you need anything, Ellie, sleep well. By the way, what time is our appointment with the shrink?"
"Mmm in about five hours," said Elissa, yawning, "I'll wake you up in three, sleep well for what it's worth."
"I expect a huge industrial sized mug of coffee when I wake up," said Joker shaking his head as he went across the hall to the spare room.
Elissa flopped on the bed, wishing she had made him stay and sleep beside her, but she knew that was beyond inappropriate even after what just happened.
"Why did he have to be a better kisser than Kaidan," grumbled Elissa as she slipped under the covers, she set the alarm for six a.m then rolled over, desperately wishing she could go back in time and relieve the kiss over again.
* * *
When Joker got to the guest room, he sat on the bed and furiously flung his cap against the wall in front of him, "How could I have been so stupid?" muttered Joker, rubbing his eyes mostly out of frustration and partially due to exhaustion. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed although he knew that his ass was Kaidan's when he found out, he could not help but think about how incredible kissing her was, even now his heart soared at just the thought of her lips on his and the feeling of her skin underneath his hand. He smiled to himself as he pulled off his shirt and pants, then he climbed into bed, laying there he absentmindedly played with his dog tags, unknown to everyone except Liara he had one of Elissa's tags too.
When Elissa died, he had made a desperate plea to Liara to find anything that was hers from the crash, he told her that he needed something that was hers to get over the grief and guilt. Benevolent as always, Liara promised to find him something, and she came through with her promise several months later when she handed him one of the three dog tags that had Elissa's name on it, the other two she eventually gave to Elissa. He had the information on that dog tag memorized in less than an hour and he recited it to himself occasionally while he sat there next to Elissa when Cerberus was working on her. He wanted to make sure she knew the basics when she woke up so at least she would regain something of herself, he knew it was probably the craziest thought he had ever had in his life, but it was something to cling to while he waited.
Looking at the tag now he felt that all too familiar pang of guilt that often hit him whenever he thought about her death, no matter how much time passed the pain still felt raw and new, Joker knew deep down that he would always feel the guilt but it would lessen. He fell asleep with his hand still holding the dog tags, content with the thought of someday getting over the guilt he still had about killing the woman he loved. No number of broken bones or surgeries would ever create the same amount of pain he had felt when he watched her get spaced, as he saw the oxygen escaping her suit, when she stopped moving.
* * *
Elissa woke when the alarm went off, the sky was still dark from what she could tell as she sat up on the edge of her bed trying to shake the feeling of sleep, she glanced at the empty side of the bed and remembered how not too long ago Kaidan had occupied that space. Now she found herself wishing that Joker was there instead, she mentally scolded herself for even thinking of him being in bed with her, she was with Kaidan and he had EDI and she could not change that overnight. Standing, she walked over to the dresser, pulled out some of the civilian clothes she had kept there and changed quickly before activating Glyph.
"Good morning, Commander Shepard," said the little orb as it floated into her room, "How can I assist you?"
"Hello, Glyph," said Elissa, stretching, "I need you to make a very strong pot of coffee, it should still have grounds from the last time I filled it up, and then call a cab to take myself and Joker to Citadel Tower."
"Of course, Commander Shepard," said Glyph and he left.
Elissa retreated quickly to the washroom, she brushed her teeth, washed her face, and did her best to pull her hair into a tight bun so she would not look too unprofessional. After she deemed herself acceptable, she pulled on the hoodie she found in the closet and walked to the guest room to wake up Joker, praying that he was not naked. She looked in and saw he was topless, sending a wave of heat down from her head to her feet as she stared at him, even from this distance she could see the definition of his muscles in his chest and arms. Quietly she crept further into the room, when she got beside his bed, she reached out and gently shook him, "Jeff, Jeff, come on, wake up."
Joker's eyes popped open, he saw Elissa but was too tired to register that they were not on the _Normandy_, he sat up and started moving his hands as if he were sitting at his chair facing the console, "Checking engine diagnostics, levels appear to be stable, FTL sequence started—"
"Joker!" shouted Elissa and he jumped, "We're not on the _Normandy_, we're at the apartment on the Citadel, and now we have to get ready to go to the Tower."
"Oh," yawned Joker, stretching and easing himself out of bed, "guess I'm way too used to sleeping in my chair to know the difference anymore."
"Guess so," said Elissa smiling, "Glyph's making that industrial sized mug of coffee you wanted, I'll be downstairs in the kitchen waiting for you."
"How are we going to get to the Tower?" asked Joker as he stood up, not aware that Elissa turned four shades of pink in four seconds when she saw him in nothing but his boxers.
Elissa averted her eyes out of respect, "I'm having Glyph call us a cab. I don't think we have to be in our blues to get interviewed by the psychologist, so you can dress as casually as you like."
"This might be it," said Joker, indicating his mostly naked body, "I don't have any clothes other than the ones I was wearing last night."
"I'll see if I can find something for you," said Elissa, blushing again, "feel free to use my shower while I look for some clothes."
"Thanks, Ellie," said Joker walking towards her room, eager to take a much welcome shower.
Elissa glanced at his rear end as he walked passed, impressed with what she saw, then she shook her head to clear away the thoughts that were forming and set out to find something for Joker to wear. She remembered that Steve used this place sometimes for parties on the weekend, so she thought he might have a stash of clothes somewhere in one of the closets, when she opened the closet there was a pile of folded jeans and a selection of dress shirts.
"Guess Steve's been here more than I thought," muttered Elissa as she grabbed a pair of jeans and selected a green shirt for Joker to wear and she went to her bedroom praying she could just sneak the clothes in there without being detected. When she got there, she put the clothes neatly on her bed so Joker would see them, and then headed downstairs to the kitchen to see if Glyph had brewed the coffee yet.
* * *
Joker emerged from the shower feeling much more like a human, he grabbed a towel from the rack and dried himself off, then wrapped the towel around his waist before walking into the bedroom. He saw the clothes Elissa had laid out on the bed and smiled, she always came through for him, and he quickly changed admiring how well the clothes fit him despite them belonging to someone else. After he had changed he walked downstairs, the aroma of coffee hitting him as he made it halfway down, and becoming even more the closer he got to the kitchen where he saw Elissa standing at the counter sipping a cup of coffee and reading a data pad. He looked her up and down as he stood in the doorway, admiring how her blouse hugged every curve just right and how it was tightest around her breasts, how her jeans accentuated her legs and the way her behind looked wrapped snuggly in the fabric. He could feel his own jeans tighten as he stared at her, imagining how she would look falling out of her clothes.
"What are you staring at?" asked Elissa coldly, glancing at him as she looked up from her reading, when she saw he did not move she pointed at the mugs next to the coffee pot, "Feel free to get yourself a cup, I'm not going to stop you."
"You alright, Ellie?" asked Joker as he walked to the coffee pot and poured himself a mug, then he mixed in four packets of sugar took a sip, his face contorted in disgust.
"If you don't like coffee, then why did you tell me to make it?" asked Elissa, she had seen him make the face when he sipped his coffee.
"I like coffee, just not this stuff," said Joker grimacing as he took another gulp, "Why are you being so cold this morning, Ellie?"
* * *
Elissa looked up at him, his face showed genuine concern for her behavior, she knew she could not brush him off as easily as some of the other crew, this had been the truth since they had first flown together he seemed to have a knack for knowing when she was lying about her well being and attitude, "I'm just overwhelmed, first we have the psych evaluation for a trial that shouldn't be happening, then my fiance is being an obvious jackass, and we kissed. . . ." Her voice trailed off as she thought about it, the feeling of euphoria and relief that had washed over her when his lips touched hers.
"Ellie," said Joker, putting down his coffee and walking to her, then he stood next to her at the counter wrapping his arm around her shoulders, "Is this going to make things weird between us? If so, I can do things to distance myself from you, like not hanging out in your apartment without supervision."
Elissa chuckled softly, turning to him she saw in his eyes what she had seen when they were in the observation deck together and it relaxed her enough to make a reasonable decision, "Jeff, we're going to be working together until God knows when so we can't really afford to act differently around each other, and I really enjoy having you around, you're a great friend, so maybe we shouldn't just spend any alone time together."
"At least outside of the cockpit," said Joker, smiling, "I still need to talk with you sometimes, EDI's great and all, but I really like talking with you."
"Same here," said Elissa, her cold attitude melting in the warmth of his smile, "Joker, you're the best, always remember that."
"Come on, Ellie, lets be realistic," said Joker a sly smile on his face, "you're always going to be around to shower your praise down on me."
She bumped him with her hip in jest and he laughed bumping her back, then Glyph came floating into the room, "Commander Shepard, Flight Lieutenant Moreau, your taxi is waiting outside for you."
"Guess we have to go," sighed Joker, standing fully straight.
"Guess so," said Elissa as she stood up, then without really thinking she pulled him into a tight hug though careful not to put too much pressure in any one place, and he hugged her back with surprising strength.
"Lets get this over with," said Elissa, pulling away from him, and they walked out of the apartment and got into the cab ready to face their psych evaluation and the wrath of their partners, neither sounding desirable to either of them but they were ready to accept the outcome of both.
9. Confrontation
The cab pulled up to the Tower and both Elissa and Joker slumped into the seat more as they got closer and closer, they could see the crowd of their friends waiting for them, no one looked happy from what Elissa could tell.
"Think we can make a run for it?" asked Joker, pulling his cap further down how face.
"Not a chance," sighed Elissa, "Kaidan could use his biotics to pick us up and drag us back, there's no getting out of this."
"Damn," grumbled Joker as the cab came to a halt and the door flung open.
"Where the fuck have you two been?!" shouted Kaidan, he managed to move so Elissa and Joker could exit the cab but soon he was back in both of their faces. "You were supposed to be on the ship! We have been searching the whole Citadel looking for you two!"
"You obviously didn't search the entire Citadel, otherwise you would have found us," muttered Joker, his arms crossed.
"Don't get me started with you, Flight Lieutenant!" snapped Kaidan, turning his full attention on Joker, "What do you think you were doing, sneaking off with my fiancee?"
"Gee, I don't know," said Joker, his tone snarky, "I was thinking she needed a friend by her side since her fiance was off trying to nail a waitress!"
Joker suddenly felt his body moving involuntarily, he was being pushed out of the way of something, luckily for him Jacob was there to catch him before he fell to the ground then he heard shouts and a thud. When he stood back up he turned around and saw to his horror Elissa on the ground, Kaidan's glowing fist hovering in the air, and the rest of the crew looking on with faces of disgust and dismay. The next few seconds seemed to move in slow motion, James tackled Kaidan with Jacob and Garrus helping to hold him down, Tali, Liara, and Hannah rushed to Elissa's still form and Joker could feel himself falling to his knees beside her body. Carefully, he pulled her upper half into his lap and held her, stroking the stray hairs out of her face when he glanced at his fingertips he saw the unmistakable color of blood.
He pressed the palm of his hand against her wound, _'Keep pressure on any open wound, don't let up, not until bandages or stitches can be applied'_ Joker thought, remembering his field training class from his early days during Alliance basic training. Even with just his palm on the wound he could tell it was not a deep cut, though he was worried that she might have a concussion or maybe broken ribs, her breathing was ragged enough for that possibility to be very real. Joker looked down at her, he could see her eyes moving underneath her eyelids so he knew she was still conscious to a point, now all he wanted was for her to open them so he would know for sure she was alright.
"Joker, we have to move her," said Liara, putting her hand on his shoulder, "Jeff, we have to get her to Chakwas, she needs immediate attention."
Joker could hear her voice but could not register the words, he felt almost in a dreamlike state and could not be reached at the moment, he sat there just looking at her, praying that her beautiful green eyes would be looking back up at him anytime now.
"Joker," said Hannah, using his chin to direct his face towards hers, he could see the anger and worry in her crystal blue eyes, "she needs medical help, you need to help her."
Joker nodded, then as carefully as he could he supported her neck and shoulders then placed his other arm underneath her legs and stood, cradling her in his arms as he walked with Liara and Hannah to the cab that had yet to leave. Gently he eased himself and Elissa into the back seat, still holding her, as Liara sat next to him and Hannah sat in the front seat directing the driver to C-Sec Academy. Joker looked out of the window as the cab slowly started to pull away from the curb, James was beating the crap out of Kaidan, Garrus and Jacob were trying to hold him back but failing miserably. Inwardly, Joker was smiling at the sight of the mighty Kaidan Alenko getting his biotic ass handed to him by James, then he looked down at Elissa and even that smile faded.
"Why would you do that?" Joker whispered, his forehead pressed against hers, "That was so stupid Ellie, incredible, but stupid."
"Thanks," croaked Elissa as she opened her eyes, "it's been a while since I've done something stupid."
Joker could feel his heart leap in his chest at the sound of her voice, "How are you feeling?"
"Like I just got headbutted by Wrex," groaned Elissa attempting to sit up but stopped when she felt a sharp pain in her chest, taking her breath away, she resettled herself against Joker who was more than happy to be her chair.
"Broken ribs?" asked Joker, stroking her hair.
"Sure as hell feels like it," said Elissa, her breath hitching as she inhaled. She was tired and desperately wanted to fall asleep, but every time she would close her eyes, she felt a small pinch on her hip which would wake her back up. Eyeing Joker suspiciously, he merely smiled at her before staring forward at the windshield of the cab.
"We'll be at the _Normandy_ in a few minutes," said Hannah from the front seat, "then Karin can take a closer look at you."
"You know Doc?" asked Joker, still stroking Elissa's hair.
"Yes, I was at her wedding, she married a mechanic friend of mine," said Hannah, looking at her daughter, furious that she had been hurt, "Major Alenko had best hope I don't get my hands on him after what he's done."
"What are you thinking of doing to him, if you get the chance?" asked Joker unable to keep the glee out of his voice.
"Removing his L2 implants by hand," muttered Hannah darkly, her eyes shinning with malice, "Migraines are the least of his problems right now."
"Mom, don't," said Elissa wearily, she was messing with the buttons on Joker's shirt, trying to distract herself from the throbbing pain in her skull.
Hannah rolled her eyes and faced forward again just as they were coming to a stop outside of the elevator that would take them to the docking bay. Liara got out of the cab first, Joker followed with Elissa still in his arms being extremely careful not to hit her head or move her abdomen too much in the process. They followed Hannah into the elevator and patiently waited as they ascended to the docking bay, no one speaking, all listening to Elissa's ragged breathing. When the elevator doors opened Joker was the first out, bypassing Hannah and Liara, he wanted Elissa safely on the _Normandy_ with Chakwas before Kaidan arrived and all hell broke loose. Fortunately, Liara had radioed ahead to Chakwas that they were coming and to stand by for their arrival, when the doors of the _Normandy_ opened Chakwas was already standing there waiting with a hover stretcher.
"Joker, place her on the stretcher," directed Chakwas, he could sense she was not in the mood for any lip from him so he obeyed and gingerly placed Elissa on the stretcher. Then she and Liara each took an end of the stretcher and were off to the medbay, leaving Joker and Hannah standing in the CIC.
"And now we wait," sighed Hannah, slumping to the floor, her back against the cool metal wall.
"I hate the waiting," said Joker and he joined her on the floor despite his body's protests.
"Does Chakwas need to take a look at you?" asked Hannah when she saw him wince as he sat down.
"Nah, just a bit sore from that shove," said Joker, rubbing his shoulder, "What exactly did she do? I mean, I know she pushed me but why exactly?" Actually he did know, but he wanted Hannah to talk, she was starting to shut down like Elissa did whenever something went wrong or she lost a friend. Talking was the only way to delay that enough that sometimes she did not shut down completely and he had learned quickly when it would work and when it would not.
"Major Alenko was going to punch you," said Hannah, running her fingers through her hair, "his hand was glowing blue and Elissa saw it before he made contact with you, so she pushed you away, getting hit by him in the process."
"Son of a bitch," grumbled Joker, he really wanted to destroy Kaidan for what he had done and attempted to do, but right now his mind was on Elissa and the fact she had saved his ass for once instead of it being the other way around. He could feel the ever present knot of guilt in his stomach tighten, _'Another thing to add to the list,' _thought Joker, not only had he been responsible for her death, now he was the reason her fiance had nearly broken her skull on the pavement.
"Do you think she's safe with him?" asked Hannah quietly.
Joker looked at Hannah, she and Elissa both possessed the uncanny ability to present themselves to everyone around them as fearless warriors when faced with unparalleled danger, he had seen them both show that look. Right now though she was not Admiral Shepard, she was Hannah Shepard a concerned mother, and Joker could see the love she held for her daughter and the fear that the same daughter she loved was going to be harmed by someone she thought she could trust.
"The better question is, is he safe with her?" said Joker, trying to lighten the mood, Hannah smiled giving a halfhearted laugh in the process.
"You have a point," said Hannah, giving him a small smile, "In all seriousness though, what do you think, can she be safe with him around?"
"I think so," said Joker, trying to sound convincing, not only for her sake but for his as well, "Ellie's always been able to handle him, although, I for one don't want to be left alone with him from now on."
"I'll make sure to slide a pistol into the cockpit for you," said Hannah grinning, eliciting a smile from him in return.
"Think he'll be dumb enough to try anything when he gets back?" asked Joker, mildly concerned for his own safety.
"I don't think so," said Hannah patting his arm in reassurance, "if he does though, there's a ship full of people eager to take his ass out, like James was doing earlier."
"Talk about wounded pride," laughed Joker, "One of the most powerful biotics on Earth getting the crab beat out of him by an ordinary soldier."
"Vega's N7, I don't think he's ordinary," reminded Hannah.
"You know what I mean," scoffed Joker, moving his hand in a brushing motion, "he doesn't have any biotics nor is he an alien so he's just a regular guy that happens to be the size of two full grown adult males."
"Point taken," laughed Hannah and Joker joined in with her, it felt good to laugh after what had happened. Joker heard footsteps walking up on them and when he turned his mouth fell open in surprise.
"Kasumi!" shouted Joker, standing up, Hannah helping him stand and then he hugged Kasumi, glad to see another familiar face.
"Hey, Joker," said Kasumi, releasing him and smiling, "How's Shep doing?"
"Right to the point as always," sighed Joker, shaking his head, smiling, "She's not doing great, to be honest, right now she's in the medbay. She saved my ass and is reaping the rewards."
Kasumi clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle a gasp, "What happened?"
"My charming son-in-law-to-be decided to use his biotics to try and beat the crap out of Joker," said Hannah, also standing, "Elissa saw it coming and pushed him out of the way, taking the punch that was meant for him. I'm her mother by the way, Hannah Shepard, nice to meet you, Kasumi." She extended her hand to Kasumi who shook it eagerly.
"That's Shep for you," said Kasumi, "Is she going to be alright?"
"She's going to be perfectly fine," said Chakwas, coming up behind the trio.
Joker could feel relief wash over him, he was glad Elissa would be alright, he saw the same feeling in the faces of Hannah and Kasumi.
"How bad was the damage?" asked Hannah.
"She had a cut on her head," started Chakwas, looking at the data pad in her hand, "and three broken ribs, though nothing was punctured, she's very lucky that was all."
"Everything was treatable then?" asked Kasumi, and Chakwas nodded.
"Yes," said Chakwas, "we put medi-gel on her cut, also on her bruises, and I've given her a couple of pain killers for her broken ribs."
"Can we see her?" asked Hannah looking hopeful.
"Of course," said Chakwas, smiling and Hannah dashed off to the medbay with Kasumi hot on her tail, Joker was about to do the same when Chakwas put her hand on his chest.
"I heard what happened," said Chakwas quietly, and she hugged him carefully, "I'm glad you're alright."
"Thanks," said Joker dejected, "I wish she hadn't gotten hurt though."
"Jeff," said Chakwas, smiling, "you're her dearest friend, she wouldn't let anything happen to you, haven't you figured that out yet?"
"Guess not," chuckled Jeff, glancing over her shoulder at the path to the medbay. The look did not get lost on Chakwas, who merely rolled her eyes and smiled.
"Yes, you can go see her," said Chakwas, feigning exasperation as he rushed passed her as fast as he could.
* * *
Elissa was sitting up in bed, her head no longer throbbing, the pain more of a dull ache as she sat there looking around bored. She was under strict orders from Chakwas to not get out of bed for at least another hour or face sedation, which only increased her impatience as she watched the minutes tick by like hours. She heard the medbay doors glide open, apprehension gripping her, when she looked over she was relieved to see her mother standing there though she thought it was strange her mother had two shadows. Then there was a shimmering wave in the corner as Kasumi emerged from her hiding spot, brightly grinning.
"Hey, Shep," said Kasumi as she sat on the bed next to her best friend.
"Kasumi!" exclaimed Elissa, pulling her into a tight hug, "I thought you were playing Robin Hood on Thessia, what are you doing here?"
"I got a message from Liara," said Kasumi, motioning towards their friend who was leaving, "she said you needed friends around you right now, so I hopped on the fastest moving boat here, I arrived last night."
"I'm sorry I missed your arrival," sighed Elissa, leaning back against the pillows, "Last night pretty much sucked."
"I know, I saw," said Kasumi, a wicked smile on her face, "I was there at the restaurant."
"Were not," scoffed Elissa her tone disbelieving.
"Was so," protested Kasumi, "I got a vid of you and Joker ballroom dancing." She pulled out her vid recorder, searching for the most recent of her many recordings.
"Have you uploaded it to the extranet yet?" asked Elissa as Kasumi handed her the recorder with the vid loaded.
"Not yet, maybe after the trial," said Kasumi also resting herself against the pillows on the bed, "A scandal might not look good on either of you."
"Scandal?" asked Elissa as she watched herself and Joker dancing, she could feel a smile forming across her face, looking at the scene from a bystander's perspective she had an idea of why this might cause a scandal.
Kasumi looked at her and smirked, her friend and former commander was not all that transparent but there were times when someone could see the true Elissa Shepard, and watching her watch the vid was one of those times, "Want a copy?"
"Oh, hell yes," said Elissa handing the recorder back to Kasumi who slipped it away somewhere in her outfit.
"How are you feeling, Jackie?" asked Hannah as she sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes showing a great deal of worry for her daughter.
"I'm feeling fine, Mom," said Elissa, reaching to put a hand on her mother's, "Chakwas really knows how to patch me up, she's been doing it long enough."
"That's an understatement," said Joker as he entered the medbay, he was greeted with the largest smile he had ever seen from Elissa, that eased the knot in his stomach enough for him to approach the bed.
"Kasumi," said Hannah, standing up from the bed, "Why don't we go and have something to drink? I think I saw Rupert making a pot of tea."
"Rupert's still here?" asked Kasumi as she removed herself from Elissa's side.
Joker knew what they were doing, he was not sure whether to be annoyed or amused that they were giving him some privacy with Elissa, he decided to protest a little, "You don't have to go, I was just stopping by."
"It's alright, Joker," said Kasumi, grinning at him, "I want to get to know Hannah better anyhow, she seems to be as fascinating as Shep."
"Kiss ass," muttered Joker and Kasumi playfully bumped his shoulder with her's as she passed by him.
"Should I bring you back anything?" asked Hannah, her eyes shining with mischief.
"No, Hannah," said Joker, giving her a slightly wicked grin back, he definitely knew she was up to something just by the way her eyes gleamed in the light.
"Alright," said Hannah leaving the medbay with Kasumi. Joker shook his head grinning as he watched them leave, then he made sat down on the edge of the bed, his hands clasped in front of him as he thought about what to say.
"Ellie," said Joker, trying to keep his thoughts straight while his hands trembled like mad, "I'm so sorry, this wasn't supposed to happen, I didn't want you to get hurt—"
Elissa placed her fingertip on his lips to silence him, then she smiled beckoning him to sit directly next to her on the bed, he smiled back at her and gingerly he repositioned himself so he was sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with her.
"Joker," said Elissa, looking at him full in the face, "I chose to come between you and Kaidan, and I don't regret that in the slightest. Did you honestly think I was going to stand by and watch him beat the crap out of you?"
"No," sighed Joker, casting his eyes down, "but I didn't want you to get caught in the crossfire either."
"It's what I do best," said Elissa, shrugging her shoulders, leaning against him.
"It certainly is," agreed Joker, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and resting against the pillows, he could feel his eyelids getting heavier the coffee certainly had not helped him wake up.
"Jeff," said Elissa, he could hear in her voice that she was also tired, "thank you for always being there for me."
"Anytime, Ellie," yawned Joker as he eagerly welcomed sleep.
* * *
"Where are they!?" yelled Kaidan as he entered the _Normandy_ sometime later, his shouts made Joker jump and he could feel Elissa stirring beside him, he could hear Kaidan's footsteps getting closer, his heart was pounding harder with each footfall.
"They're resting!" shouted Chakwas, the anger obvious as she spoke, "I'm not going to allow you to go in there and disturb them."
"Like hell you won't!" roared Kaidan, Joker could feel Elissa tense next to him and he tightened his grip around her shoulders as the medbay doors opened to reveal a very pissed off Major Alenko.
"You, out," commanded Kaidan, pointing at Joker, his anger making it nearly impossible for him to speak. Joker hesitated, he knew if he did not leave he would get a fist to the head plus more, but he did not want to leave Elissa alone not trusting Kaidan's motives.
"Did I stutter, Flight Lieutenant?" asked Kaidan, his face contorting with rage. Joker desperately wanted to mouth off, tell him that he was way out of line, and to get the fuck out of here and off the ship.
"Joker," said Elissa seeming to sense what he was wanting to say, her commander persona falling perfectly back into place, "I'll be fine, you should go run some diagnostics on the _Normandy_."
He wanted to protest, demand that she should not be left alone, but the look of sheer determination on her face told him that she would be able to handle this situation herself so he eased himself off of the bed. Joker took his time leaving the medbay, when he reached Kaidan he smiled at him just to be a jerk, and could almost feel the rage radiating from the Major as he walked out then the doors shut.
"Ella, what the hell were you thinking?!" shouted Kaidan, trying to keep his anger in check, "Throwing yourself between me and him was just plain stupid?"
"You know," said Elissa calmly, "Joker said the exact same thing, he told me it was incredible but still stupid."
"Why did you do it though?!" asked Kaidan angrily, covering his face with his hands in an attempt to calm himself down as he waited for Elissa's reply.
"I wasn't going to idly stand by and watch you try to kill him," said Elissa her tone sharp and voice raised.
"I wasn't going to kill him," said Kaidan in a defensive tone, "just rough him up a bit."
"Kaidan, your biotics were activated," said Elissa, staring right at him, calling him on his bull shit answer, "You wanted to kill him, you knew that one good hit with the power of your biotics would shatter every bone in his chest, so don't stand there and lie to me."
"Fine, I won't," said Kaidan, "Yeah, I might have wanted to kill him, but what guy wouldn't want to kill his best friend after he slept with his fiancee?"
Elissa was taken aback by his response, "What?"
"I know you slept with him," said Kaidan pointing his finger at her face, "Yep, I know you did, you thought you would get back at me for talking with that waitress. I can't believe you would be such a bitch and do that to me!"
Elissa was furious now, not only had he called her a bitch but he was unjustly accusing her of infidelity, "Listen here, Kaidan, I did not sleep with Joker! Nor would I ever cheat on you as a way to get back at you for talking with some bimbo! How dare you accuse me!"
"You know what," said Kaidan furrowing his brow, closing his eyes, "I think I'm going to leave, let you calm down, then we can talk like rational adults."
"You son of a bitch!" shouted Elissa, "You come in here, accuse me of cheating on you, call me a bitch and now you're saying _I_ am not being rational?!"
Kaidan did not say a word but turned and stormed out of the medbay, leaving Elissa fuming as she rested her head against her pillows, her headache now returning with a vengeance, her breathing becoming shallow.
* * *
Joker saw that a small group had formed a few feet from the windows that looked into the medbay, so he joined them hoping he would be able to see Elissa from that distance, incase it all went to hell.
"How's she doing?" asked Garrus who was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed, watching Kaidan yelling at Elissa who was taking it without so much as flinching as he got closer to her face.
"Apparently fine," said Joker, joining him against the wall, glancing at the others he saw James with a couple of cuts along his cheeks, Jacob was favoring his left leg, and Tali was repairing a small tear in her armor.
Garrus saw where Joker was looking, "It was harder to keep the Major down than we first thought, we're lucky some C-Sec officers came over, the idea of his little tantrum getting out made him calm down enough to be reasonable."
"Any word from the shrink Shepard and I were supposed to talk with?" asked Joker, flinching slightly at some of the words he heard Kaidan yelling at Elissa.
"Tali went and spoke with him," said Garrus, his mandibles flexing defensively as the word 'bitch' worked its way into Kaidan's rant, "he's coming by here later, you'll both be interviewed separately but under guard, from the outside of course."
"I get my own personal guard?" asked Joker, amused at the idea that he was important enough to have a bodyguard.
"Don't let that you head get bigger than it already is," said Garrus, as if reading his mind, "I'm going to be standing guard, possibly with Vega, but it's just a precaution to make sure no one is feeding you what to say or recording the conversation."
"Then you might want to have a talk with Kasumi," said Joker laughing at the Turian's face in reaction to the new information.
"Kasumi's back?" asked Garrus, behind him Joker could see Jacob shaking his head chuckling to himself and James looked almost pleased.
"Yeah," said Joker, smiling, "she's having tea with Hannah. Speaking of women, where's EDI? I haven't seen her since I got back on the ship."
"She was doing something down in engineering with Traynor," said Jacob, "Don't worry, she's not trying to make a move on your girl."
Everyone laughed including Joker but his heart was not in it, usually he would have found that comment to be very funny or he would have feigned jealousy, but there was something in the way that Jacob said 'your girl' about EDI that did not sit right with him. He wished that Elissa was whom they were talking about, the she was his girl but after what happened today knowing that he had been the reason she had gotten hurt, he wanted her as far away from him as possible.
"Major on deck," muttered Garrus and they watched Kaidan storm out of the medbay, his face still showing signs of rage, he glanced over at the four crew members standing across from him and glared at all of them, they did the same to him as well. They watched as he walked away, heard his footsteps in the CIC before the large bay doors to the _Normandy_ opened and they knew he was off the ship.
"You should go to her," said Garrus, indicating Elissa who looked like she had just been hit in the stomach, Joker nodded and walked away from the group hoping that Elissa would not be too upset to talk with him.
When he entered, he was immediately swept up in a hug from Elissa who had bounded from the bed to meet him, he was extra careful where he put his arms since he did not want to disturb her ribs, though underneath his hands he could feel her entire body shaking. Concerned, he released his hold on her enough to look in her eyes, there were tears shimmering in the green pools but he could tell she refused to let them fall.
"He accused me of cheating on him," said Elissa swallowing a sob as she spoke and Joker lead her back to bed, "with you." She said the last part so quietly it was almost a whisper.
"Why would he even think you did?" asked Joker, dumbfounded that Kaidan had jumped to that conclusion, and that reason was why he was so livid earlier that morning.
"I don't know," said Elissa, fighting back tears, her chest hurting, "He said we'd talk later when I was more rational."
"You need to be more rational? Wasn't he the lumbering moron who shouted at everyone and everything that got in his way?" asked Joker, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Yeah, no kidding," sighed Elissa, resting her head on his shoulder, "By the way, have you heard from the psychologist?"
"Tali spoke to him," said Joker, wrapping his arm around her still trembling frame, "she was told he'd be coming by later to speak with us here."
"Good," said Elissa sounding content, "the sooner we get this trial over with the sooner I can deal with my thickheaded fiance."
Joker looked down at her, she looked so beautiful laying against him, the way her eyes shined in the light when she glanced up at him and smiled captivated him, he wanted to kiss her again so badly even if there were people standing outside watching them. Carefully he leaned in closer to her, his eyes starting to close, lips parted slightly and he could feel her warm breath on his lips.
"Commander," said EDI over the intercom, "there is a Doctor Ingleside requesting entry."
"Access granted," said Elissa as she and Joker pulled away from each other, "guess I had better make myself look like a commander and not an invalid."
"Should I greet our guest?" asked Joker, shoving his hands in his pockets, trying not to show his frustration, "You know how I love to perform parlor tricks."
"If you really want to," said Elissa smiling as she reached for her hoodie, "tell him I'll be there in about ten minutes."
"I will," said Joker as he let himself out of the medbay, smiling back at her, then the doors closed.
She could still feel her heart pounding in her chest, she had been so close to feeling that euphoria again that would only come from kissing Joker, now she had to compose herself and go on as if nothing happened. That would be difficult when all she could think about was his soft lips traveling up and down her body, kissing other parts of her body. She sighed audibly, this was getting more and more intense the longer they spent time together, not that she minded.
10. Too Little Too Late
Joker sat in the mess hall, Rupert had given him a bowl of chili to eat while he waited for Elissa and Dr. Ingleside to finish up though he had no appetite to eat even a bite, they had been in the medbay for almost two hours now.
"You alright there, Joker?" asked Rupert as he stirred the chili.
"I don't know," sighed Joker, pushing the bowl away from him, "Is it ever a good sign when something important takes a long time?"
"Depends on the something important, I suppose," said Rupert, putting down his spoon and joining Joker at the table, "A job interview taking a long time is generally a good sign, while waiting for a baby to be born and it taking several days usually is a bad one. Where would you rate this situation?"
"Long childbirth," said Joker, noticing that his hands were trembling slightly, "God, I wish this was over with."
"Why are you so nervous for her evaluation anyway?" asked Rupert, taking some bites from the chili Joker had left untouched.
"I guess I'm just nervous because the outcome of the trial is dependent on this evaluation," said Joker rubbing his eyes.
"She's fine," said Rupert, clapping him on the shoulder, "after years of these types of evaluations, I would expect she knows what to say and what not to."
"You do have a point there, Cookie," said Joker and Rupert groaned at the nickname, Joker had given him that name after reading a story about a crew of adventurers with a cook named Cookie.
"Jeff," said EDI, her tone was off, almost anxious which startled him a great deal, "I think we need to talk, at least, social interactions indicate that I must speak with you about something when it is important."
"Alright, EDI," said Joker, standing up shakily, "Where would you like to talk?"
"The bridge," said EDI, glancing around. Joker was more than a bit surprised with EDI's odd behavior, ordinarily she was rather calm, but right now she sounded almost panicked or worried.
"Quickly, Jeff," said EDI and she started walking towards the bridge.
_'What the hell is going on?'_ wondered Joker as he followed EDI to the bridge.
* * *
Elissa rested her head on the pillows behind her, her head was starting to hurt again and she felt tired, she hoped that Dr. Ingleside would finish up the evaluation before she passed out on him. They had just finished up with the questions about her missions, her thinking behind the decisions she made during them, and her feelings towards former crew members such as Miranda and Jacob. She glanced over at the Salarian who was busily writing down a few sentences, although he had been sent there by the Alliance and the Council, he was rather kind and very humorous cracking a few jokes before he had started asking her questions. Then he had told her that she was allowed to ask him questions, he said he wanted this to be a relaxing experience and not a rigid interview. He had found that starting off an evaluation with some jokes and allowing questions from the patient made for a better understanding of the person and therefore a better interview.
"Good news, Shepard," said Dr. Ingleside as he typed a few notes, not looking up, "your evaluation has concluded, do you have any further questions?"
Elissa looked at him thought about whether she did have any questions, and she knew of one, "Doctor, I do have one question for you."
"Yes, Shepard?" asked Dr. Ingleside, looking up from his notes.
"Did you ever know a Salarian scientist named Mordin?" asked Elissa, controlling her welling tears by breathing slowly and deeply, like Thane had taught her.
Dr. Ingleside looked at her and mournfully smiled, "I did know him, we performed together, and I was the one who interviewed him after he came back from creating the genophage."
"Has a memorial service been held for him yet?" asked Elissa, finding it harder and harder to keep herself from tears.
"His nephew was going to do something," said Dr. Ingleside, "but Salarians don't usually mourn the dead the same way humans do."
"If there was a service," said Elissa, chocking down a sob, "Would you come?"
"I would consider it a great honor," said Dr. Ingleside, bowing his head slightly, "Now I must speak to your pilot, do you have any idea where he is?"
"He might be either in the mess or at his seat in the cockpit," said Elissa, closing her eyes against the pain that was building in her head.
"Thank you again, Commander Shepard," said Dr. Ingleside as he collected his things and left the medbay. Elissa sighed, she felt that her evaluation had gone really well, she had not said anything that could have been used against her such as the nightmares she had or the fact that sometimes she would catch a glimpse of someone she knew was dead like Ashley or Thane. She could only pray that Joker would be able to get through the interview without offending Dr. Ingleside too much.
* * *
"EDI, are you going to tell me what the hell this is all about?" asked Joker in a slightly sharper tone with his arms crossed as he leaned against his chair's back. They had been standing in the cockpit for two minutes while EDI tried to come up with a way to talk to him, starting and stopping herself several times.
"Yes, Jeff," said EDI almost nervously, "I wanted to confess that I might be responsible for why Major Alenko accused the Commander of having sexual intercourse with you."
"Wait, what?!" exclaimed Joker dropping his arms and standing straight. "Explain yourself, EDI, and fast."
"Yesterday, I saw you make a gesture at the Commander, a sort of brushing motion," said EDI, showing the motion with her hand, "and I wanted to ask someone, because I knew if I asked you, you would tell me never mind. So I found the Major and I asked him what it was and what it meant."
"Okay, so how does stroking hairs away from her face translate to 'I'm fucking your girlfriend?'" asked Joker, thinking that EDI was overreacting.
"It might have been how I asked him and showed him," said EDI, lowering her eyes, "I did like I saw you, put my two fingers together and made the sort of swiping motion you did but I think he thought it was a different gesture." She demonstrated what she had done versus what Joker had done to begin with.
Joker's eyes went wide, he knew exactly what motion Kaidan thought he had done to Elissa, but he had to be sure, "Did you do that motion against his face?"
"No," said EDI, "the Major had made it very clear in the past that he does not want this platform to touch him again, given his history with it."
Joker covered his face with his hands, trying to calm himself down before removing them to speak, "EDI, what have I told you about asking others about organic gestures?"
"To only ask you or the Commander," replied EDI.
"Why didn't you ask either Shepard or myself?" asked Joker through gritted teeth.
"As I stated before," said EDI, "I thought you would tell me never mind, and I thought that the Commander would be unwilling to talk about it as she has seemed reluctant to do so in the past."
"EDI, do you realize what you've done!?" exclaimed Joker though he knew she had already connected the dots, she had figured this out long before he had.
"Yes, Jeff, I do," said EDI sternly, "I have already stated that, so your anger is not well placed."
Joker wanted her to shut up, to stop talking, to listen instead of tell, "My anger is perfectly placed, EDI, you're the reason that Alenko wanted to break every bone in my body! You're the reason that Elissa is in the medbay with three broken ribs! You're the reason that she had to sit there and listen to someone she loves accuse her of doing horrific things!"
"Jeff, I do not understand—" started EDI.
"Of course you don't fucking understand!" shouted Joker, he was livid with her and he wanted her to at least know even if she would not be able to really understand. "You'll never understand, EDI, you were built to read organics but you weren't built to be an organic! You'll never have emotions, you'll never be able to get close to anyone!"
EDI stood there, unaffected by his words, "Jeff, I believe it would be best if we terminate our relationship permanently, you have clearly stated your true thoughts about me. I have known since we first worked together with me in this platform that you would never really be satisfied with any relationship unless it was with Shepard. Though I had thought you would be able to get the same bio readings with me as you do with her if we were together long enough."
Joker felt like he wanted to hug her but he knew the gesture would be lost on her, so he placed his hand on her shoulder as he spoke, "EDI, I'm so sorry for leading you on, we had a lot of great times together."
"That is alright, Mr. Moreau," said EDI, she had already reverted back to her previous settings, "I will be able to get over this, I still have those times recorded within my hard drive, so they are always with me. I hope that you and Shepard are able to be happy together."
"Lets not jump that far ahead, EDI," said Joker, smiling at her, "she's still engaged to Major Asshole."
"Flight Lieutenant Moreau," said Dr. Ingleside from behind them, startling Joker, "are you ready for your evaluation?"
Joker swallowed hard, he was extremely nervous but he knew he had to get through this if he was going to be able to stay the pilot of the _Normandy_.
"Ready as I'll ever be," sighed Joker and he sat down in his chair, the he looked at EDI, "EDI, would you mind giving the good doctor and I some privacy?"
"Of course, Mr. Moreau," said EDI and she left the cockpit, closing the door behind her.
"Please, Dr. Ingleside," said Joker, indicating the co-pilot's chair, "take a load off."
"Thank you, Mr. Moreau," said Dr. Ingleside sitting in the chair, "I assume you know why I'm here?"
"Your job is to tell the Naval Admirals what's wrong with me and why I'm unfit for duty, how far off base am I?" asked Joker, carefully watching the reaction of the Salarian.
"Not that far off," chuckled Dr. Ingleside, instantly Joker knew he was going to like this Salarian. "I will be conducting your psychological evaluation, at the request of the Alliance Military and Council, and if all goes well I will be getting paid overtime."
Joker chuckled, he was already liking Dr. Ingleside, "I'll try in anyway I can to make sure that happens for you, doc."
"Much appreciated," said Dr. Ingleside and he proceeded to ask Joker various questions about his time on the _Normandy_.
* * *
Elissa was laying down on the couch her cabin, looking up at the ceiling thinking about Kaidan and her almost kiss with Joker, "What a crazy last few days."
"I agree," said Kasumi, emerging from under her cloak.
"How long have you been standing there, Kasumi?" asked Elissa, sitting up as her friend sat next to her.
"Since before Chakwas released you," said Kasumi, reclining against the leather.
"What were you doing up here?" asked Elissa, "Looking at my underwear again?"
"Of course," said Kasumi as if it was still perfectly normal to look through someone else's drawers, "I see they're still lacy, I think Joker would like the red pair on you."
Elissa scoffed, "Why would Joker care what underwear I was wearing?"
"Lets just say I have my theories," said Kasumi, smiling wickedly underneath her hood.
"Come on, Kasumi, tell me what you know," said Elissa in an encouraging tone.
"I don't know anything, Shep," said Kasumi feigning innocence.
"You're lying to me, Kasumi," said Elissa, smiling.
"I could tell you what I think," said Kasumi, "or I could let you have the fun of figuring it out for yourself, personally I'm leaning towards that option."
"Tease," muttered Elissa, and Kasumi hit her with a pillow from the couch, both women laughed.
"I've missed being here on the _Normandy_," sighed Kasumi as she looked around, "even though I wasn't here long, she still feels like home."
"I know what you mean," said Elissa, glancing at her fish tank and model collection, "I hated being on shore leave, I felt completely useless, and Kaidan's house never felt like a home to me. The _Normandy_ is my only true home."
"I have a feeling other crew members think that about this ship," said Kasumi, pulling her knees up to her chest, "Could I ask you something, Shep?"
"Of course, Kasumi, anything," said Elissa, moving on the couch to face her friend.
"Do you remember that one job I worked at the casino, you know, stealing from the rich to give to the poor?" asked Kasumi, "Well, I found out that the refugees I had been sending the money to are no longer receiving any of it, and that the funds are being transferred elsewhere. Would it be too much to ask to go and investigate?"
"I see no harm in it," said Elissa, putting her hand on Kasumi's shoulder, "we'll head for the colony as soon as this trial is over."
"Thank you, Shep," said Kasumi quietly, smiling, "that really means a lot to me."
"I know," said Elissa, smiling.
"Commander Shepard," said EDI through her usual platform, "Major Alenko is requesting entry to the _Normandy_."
"He no longer has access?" asked Elissa.
"No, Tali has blocked his entry codes," replied EDI and Elissa smiled inwardly, leave it to her crew to get even for her.
"EDI, has Dr. Ingleside left yet?" asked Elissa as she and Kasumi stood.
"Yes, he left one minute seventeen seconds ago," replied EDI, "Major Alenko is attempting to pry the doors open with his biotics, should I initiate lockdown mode?"
"No, let him in," sighed Elissa, furrowing her brow.
"Yes, Commander," said EDI.
"Should I go?" asked Kasumi walking towards the door.
"Probably, I don't want you to get hit by the shit storm," said Elissa and Kasumi smiled at her before retreating back to her cloak, the only indication that she had left the room was the opening and closing of the door to Elissa's cabin. Elissa stood there in the open doorway, watching as Kasumi's shadow deftly climbed up to the air duct and left, she smiled to herself thinking about the many times she had seen Kasumi smiling down at her from one of the vents. The elevator across from her cabin pinged and the doors swung open, and Elissa felt her heart drop to her stomach, Kaidan was standing there still fuming.
"I heard you tried to pry my ship apart," said Elissa defensively, crossing her arms and leaning against her doorway.
"Why was my access revoked?" demanded Kaidan as he exited the elevator.
"I'm not in charge of that," said Elissa, trying to hide a smile that threatened to spread across her face, "if you're having technical issues, maybe you should talk to Tali or EDI."
"Why did you have to cheat on me, Shepard?" asked Kaidan angrily, "We had a really great thing going on, and you had to screw it up."
"I screwed it up!?" exclaimed Elissa, dumbfounded.
"Yes, you!" shouted Kaidan, "Ever since you started working for Cerberus we haven't been the same, the least you could've done was send me a vid-mail saying that you were alive."
"I thought we had moved passed this!" yelled Elissa, "Besides, I'm not the one who was calling the other a traitor and a brainwashed puppet!"
"You turned your back on me!" shouted Kaidan, dejected and angry.
"I never turned my back on you, but you sure as hell did!" snapped Elissa, "You've never been able to trust me, not even after I turned myself into the Alliance."
"How could I?!" exclaimed Kaidan, "Especially after seeing that goddamn clone!"
"That happened after you said you'd never doubt me again!" shouted Elissa, trying not to cry, she could tell this was the end.
"You know what, Shepard," said Kaidan, crossing his arms, "I really don't know you and you really don't know me."
"For once, Kaidan, I think we can agree on something," sighed Elissa, stepping forward with her right fist clenched.
"What's this?" asked Kaidan as she placed her fist in his hand and dropped something hard on his palm, when she retracted her hand he saw that she had given him her ring back.
"We're done, Kaidan," said Elissa, "I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me and you can't be with someone you can't trust. Go have the fresh start you've earned."
"Elissa," said Kaidan, closing his fist around the ring, "I'm sorry."
"Yeah," said Elissa, "so am I."
* * *
Joker was sitting back in the mess when he saw Kaidan walk out of the elevator, he looked as if he had aged ten years, "What the hell are you doing on my ship?"
"Look, I'm not in the mood right now, Joker," sighed Kaidan as he walked over to Joker's table.
"What happened?" asked Joker defensively.
"Shepard and I. . . are over," said Kaidan, hanging his head, "She's all yours, hope you like sloppy seconds."
"Fuck you!" shouted Joker, rising quickly, "She never cheated on you with me! That gesture EDI was doing was a bad imitation of me pushing some hairs out of Elissa's face!"
"Seriously?" asked Kaidan smiling slightly, "That was a pretty bad imitation then."
"No shit," smirked Joker, "Either way, I think you should get out of here."
"I don't really see a reason for staying," sighed Kaidan and he extended his hand to Joker.
"You're shitting me," said Joker in disbelief, "you cause all of this hell and I'm supposed to just shake your hand?"
"Consider it my first bite of crow," said Kaidan and Joker reluctantly shook his hand.
"So long, Major," said Joker as Kaidan headed to the bridge.
"For now," said Kaidan as he left the _Normandy_.
11. When I Look to the Sky
**A/N: The song included in this chapter is from the Disney movie, The Fox and the Hound, it seemed appropriate for how Shepard is feeling. I also wanted to say thanks to everyone whom has viewed and/or reviewed this story, makes a girl feel good. :)**
* * *
_'Have to get to Ash,' thought Elissa as she ran out of the elevator, her assault rifle drawn, Garrus to her left and Wrex on her right. They had made it to the bridge that would take them to the AA tower when a Geth ship appeared in the sky._
_ "Damn, the Geth are sending in reinforcements," said Wrex as Elissa silently cursed._
_ "LT, we've spotted a troop ship headed to your location!" shouted Ashley into the common channel of their ear piece communications._
_ "It's already here," said Kaidan, "and it's bleeding Geth all over the bomb site!"_
_ "Can you hold them off?" asked Elissa, feeling dread creeping into her spine, sending a sharp chill down her back._
_ "There's too many!" shouted Kaidan, "I don't think we can hold them! I'm activating the nuke!"_
_ "Talk to me, Lieutenant!" shouted Elissa, desperate for a solution._
_ "I'm making sure this bomb goes off no matter what," replied Kaidan, calmly. "It's done Commander. Go get the Chief and get the hell out of here."_
_ "Belay that," said Ashley, "We can handle ourselves, Skipper. Go back and get Alenko!"_
_ Elissa stood there, her head spinning, heart hurting, she knew she had to choose and she knew she was leaving a friend to die, "Alenko, radio Joker and tell him to meet us at the bomb site."_
_ "But, Commander—" started Kaidan._
_ "You know it's the right choice, LT," said Ashley, sounding strong as Elissa felt her heart breaking._
_ "Ash, I'm so sorry," said Elissa, she could feel the lump in her throat as she spoke._
_ "I know, Skipper," said Ashley, "It's been an honor."_
_She watched as a large explosion covered the area she knew Ashley was still fighting in, as she and the rest of the crew flew away, leaving the Chief to her fate._
Elissa sprang up from the mattress awake breathing heavily, her body covered in a cold sweat, she could feel the adrenaline coursing through her veins still as if she had just been there on Virmire.
"Ash," said Elissa quietly, pulling her knees to her chest, tears blurring her vision, "I'm so sorry." She had laid down on her bed just to take a nap, she was so tired, and then their suicide mission on Virmire started to play in her head.
"Commander," said EDI, "Commander Shepard, are you alright?"
"I don't know," replied Elissa quietly, "EDI, could you send Joker up to my cabin?"
"Of course, Commander," said EDI, "currently he is eating dinner in the mess so I will go there myself and tell him."
"Thanks, EDI," said Elissa.
"You are welcome, Commander," said EDI and she heard the blip that meant EDI had logged her out.
"I think I need a shower," said Elissa to no one in particular. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, the adrenaline had made her legs feel weak so she had to sit back down for a few seconds before attempting to stand again.
* * *
Joker was sitting with Garrus and James in the mess, Rupert had served each human a large bowl of the chili he had made earlier with enough crackers to absorb anything they drank, and he fixed Garrus a special Turian steak. Tali, Hannah, and Liara were conversing quietly a few seats down from them, Jacob was on the com link talking to Brynn back in Vancouver, Kasumi was flitting all over giving her input when she wanted.
"Hey, Joker!" shouted Rupert from the kitchen, "Has the Commander been down to eat yet? I was thinking I might've missed her."
"I don't think so," said Joker, looking around the mess, craning his neck to look down the CIC when he saw EDI walking towards him.
"Mr. Moreau," said EDI, when she reached him, "the Commander has requested your presence in her cabin. I suggest that you get there quickly, her bio readings suggest that she is under some kind of distress."
Joker nearly jumped from the table, "What were her readings?"
"Accelerated heart rate, adrenaline levels were at a high that correlates with those she demonstrates during battle, and her REM sleep was far more active than is normal for a typical human," reported EDI.
"Thanks, EDI," said Joker and he headed to elevator.
"Joker," said Garrus, "Do you want anyone to go with you?"
"Not necessary," replied Joker as he summoned the elevator.
When he got in, he pressed the button that would take him directly to the landing outside of her cabin, he prayed that he was not too late and that she was alright.
Elissa emerged from the shower and got dressed, she was still thinking about Ash and the entire Virmire mission, when Joker came through the door looking extremely worried.
"Ellie," said Joker as he walked in, "EDI said you wanted to see me, what's up?"
Elissa motioned for him to sit on the couch and she sat down beside him, holding her head in her hands, she thought she wanted to talk to him but now that he was here she was not so sure, "It's nothing, just something crazy."
"Elissa," said Joker, seeing the signs that she was shutting down, "you know you can tell me, you've told me nearly everything in the past, why is this any different?"
"Because this is the stuff I've kept from everyone," sighed Elissa, playing with a piece of her wet hair, she watched as the water droplets escaped from the ends, trying not to look at Joker whom she could tell was looking at her with a steady unyielding gaze.
"Ellie, would you just tell me for Christ's sake?" asked Joker, taking her free hand and holding it.
"Alright," said Elissa quietly, taking a shaky deep breath before she started, "I've been dreaming a lot lately about past missions, the latest dream I've had is about Ash and leaving her to die on Virmire. I keep thinking 'What if?' What if I had left sooner, what if I had decided not to go there in the first place, what if I had told her to abandon the Salarians and run? What if—" Her voice hitched and she could not finish speaking without tears falling and she refused to cry in front of Joker.
"You had picked her over Kaidan," finished Joker and Elissa nodded, "If you had done that, you'd be sitting here even more miserable thinking about the life you could've had with Kaidan. Ellie, you said it yourself, the choice wasn't easy and you'll always question yourself."
"It's not just Ash," said Elissa suddenly jumping from the couch to her feet, she started to pace, "I feel like I've failed everyone who ever trusted me, look at all of the people I've lost, how they died. Why couldn't Cerberus have brought any of them back to life? Why did it have to be me? If I had stayed dead then everyone would be alive." She could not hold back the tears any longer, she let them spill, silently cursing herself that she was and slowly brought herself to the floor, leaning against the foot of her bed.
Joker watched as her facade crumbled, his heart aching as he watched her cry, he stood up and joined her on the floor not sure what to do other than hold her so he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She responded by putting her arms around his neck and crying into his shoulder, her body wracked with sobs, he felt a type of perverse pleasure that although she was sad she was willingly in his arms. He let her cry, he figured this had been the first time she had truly grieved for her lost friends instead of hiding her pain behind the mask of being the impenetrable Commander Shepard.
"Why did they have to die, Jeff?" asked Elissa slightly muffled against his shoulder, "Why did I get to live when they all died? I just want to see them again." She began to weep again, and he was at a loss, there was one thing he thought might work it was a song his mom had sang to him when his grandfather died and he was convinced it was the end, and he started to sing,
"_Goodbye may seem forever, _
_Farewell is like the end, _
_But in my heart's a memory _
_And there you'll always be._"
Elissa stopped crying and listened to the words of the song, not the least bit surprised that Joker could sing, she found comfort in the words and was glad that he had thought to sing to her. She sat up reluctantly and wiped away the stray tears, then she looked at him, "Thank you for listening to my ramblings, I know I must sound pathetic."
"No, you don't," said Joker sharper than what he planned, "you sound human, which is exactly what you are, and nothing will change that. I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me what you've been going through."
"You're one of the few that's been with me from the start," said Elissa, putting her hand on his cheek, "and one of the few that have grieved just as deeply as I have, you care a lot more than you let on, and I'm glad."
He placed his hand on the one of hers on his cheek and leaned into her palm, kissing it softly, relishing in the feel of her skin against his, "Ellie, just let me know when you feel like this, okay? You shouldn't be alone all of the time, especially when you're this upset."
"I'll let you know, Joker," said Elissa smiling, "thanks for being there for me."
"Anytime, Ellie," said Joker and he smiled back at her. _'Damn, I really want to kiss her.'_
"Shepard," said Hackett's voice over the intercom, "you better get your ass down to the debriefing room right now, find Joker too, he needs to hear this."
"Sounds bad," said Elissa as she started to stand up, reaching out to Joker to help him up off of the floor.
"Hackett makes everything sound bad," said Joker trying to make light of the situation but he was worried, this was really unlike Hackett to barge onto the ship and start making orders.
"Lets go," said Elissa and Joker nodded, following her out of the cabin and to the elevator, when they got in she pressed the button noticing that her fingers were shaking slightly.
"Hey, it's going to be alright," said Joker, putting his hand on her shoulder and she slid hers on top of his and smiled.
"Thanks, Jeff," said Elissa and the elevator door opened. They quickly exited the elevator and went right to the debriefing room where they were greeted with Hackett's snarling face.
"They didn't drop the charges," said Hackett through gritted teeth, tossing Elissa a data pad, "you're still being tried for treason, among other things."
"I don't understand," said Elissa as she read the charges, "the generals voted against the charges, they were dropped."
"Apparently not," said Hackett, he leaned over the table, his head hung down, "they're hanging you out to dry, Shepard."
"Why?" asked Elissa as she handed Joker the data pad that had his charges listed as well, "This doesn't make any sense."
"I don't know, Shepard," said Hackett, standing back up, "I was forwarded this from an associate of the Shadow Broker."
"Son of a bitch!" shouted Joker, "They're charging us with mutiny as well! From three fucking years ago!"
"What?!" exclaimed Elissa, swiping back the data pad and scanning for the charge, "Shit, he's right! They've dug up every charge imaginable, except fraternization, oddly enough."
"Seriously?" scoffed Joker, "The one thing the Major is guilty of just as much as you are and. . ."
Hackett, Elissa, and Joker all looked at each other, each having a different reaction: Hackett leaned back onto the table, Joker groaned loudly, and Elissa closed her eyes as her face contorted with rage.
"How much do you want to bet he's cut a deal?" asked Hackett, rubbing his eyes.
"Every credit I have," sneered Joker, crossing his arms.
"Call in the rest of the crew, including my mother, EDI," said Elissa, seething with rage, "They need to hear this as well."
"Yes, Commander," said EDI and within five minutes the rest of the crew had filed in.
"What's going on, Shepard?" asked Garrus as he took a seat.
"Kaidan's sold us out," sighed Elissa and the rest of the crew voiced their anger loudly.
"Quiet!" shouted Hackett over the clamor, "We don't know that for sure but we have a pretty good idea that he did." His omni-tool pinged and he opened the message, then sighed, "Now we know for sure."
"What does the message say?" asked Hannah.
"It's another forward from the Shadow Broker's associate I'm in contact with," said Hackett, "It's an email from Major Alenko to the Turian councilor, talking about a cryptic message Shepard received yesterday about Cerberus and that she is having PTSD induced nightmares that hinder her ability to function as a commander."
Elissa felt fear grip her heart, this was bad and they all knew it, "What the hell is he playing at? Why is he betraying us?"
"I don't know, Shepard," sighed Hackett, "but I think we have to prepare for a guilty verdict and more than likely, incarceration."
"Do you think we'll be discharged?" asked Elissa, indicating herself and Joker, Hackett looked at them wearily.
"I really don't know," said Hackett, "You'll definitely be stripped of your Spectre rank, but the discharge more than likely won't go through only if I can interfere with the paperwork process. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact all of this has been done without my knowledge."
"Do you think they'll try to take the _Normandy_?" asked Joker, his voice strong despite the fear in his eyes.
"Yes, that seems likely," said Hackett grimly.
Elissa felt a plan forming in her head, but she needed to only disclose it with particular members of the crew, "EDI, I need you to recall everyone from shore leave, they are to report back to the Normandy by zero-eight hundred at the latest."
"You have a plan, don't you, Lisa?" asked Liara.
"Yeah, but it's going to require a lot of cooperation from the crew," said Elissa, sternly, "Steve, I need you and James to make sure the shuttle is in no need of any immediate repairs, then you two need to make an inventory of everything we have on the ship: guns, supplies, oxygen, food, the works. Tali, I need you and Adams to check the core, run any tests necessary but it is to remain functional even for an extended period of time.
"Liara, get as much intel you can on the trial, I know you have your sources. Joker, you and EDI need to run every test imaginable on the _Normandy_, I need to know she can maintain being stationary for a while and if not, let me know immediately. Jacob, you and Garrus need to upgrade anything and everything that is necessary, I want exact calibrations nothing is to be half-assed. Kasumi, get in contact with local merchants whom are friendly to us, let them know you might be popping in over the next few weeks to make some purchases but they need to be kept on the down low. We have a lot to do and not much time to do it, lets move!"
No one argued as they filed out of the debriefing room, Joker looked back briefly to see Elissa being spoken to by Hackett and her mother, but he did not stay to hear instead he left to go to the cockpit to get started with those tests, this was going to be a long night.
* * *
"Diagnostics look normal," sighed Joker as he stretched in his chair, he and EDI had been running tests for a solid four hours and it was very late at night.
"They'll be able to be maintained with minimal effort," said EDI as she recorded the readings, "Shepard will be pleased, it seems she wants everyone to be able to take care of the ship even if you and she are not present."
"I think you're right, EDI," yawned Joker as he reclined in his leather chair, "What has Shepard been up to?"
"She has been helping various crew members since she and Hackett stopped communicating," said EDI, hardly glancing up from her consoles.
"Hackett left hours ago," said Joker now curious, "I wonder why she hasn't been up here to help us?"
"Her confidence in your abilities is probably great enough that she sees no need to hover over your shoulder," replied EDI pressing a few buttons, "Running checks on the FTL capabilities."
"Thanks, EDI," said Joker, he closed his eyes, feeling sleep embracing him.
"Joker," said Elissa, her voice emitting through the intercom of the cockpit, "Joker!"
Joker snapped awake, looking around wildly for what or who that had called his name.
"Joker!" Elissa shouted, sounding angry.
"Yes, Commander?" asked Joker hurriedly, pressing the button on his console.
"I need you and EDI to report to my quarters, now," said Elissa, then her voice cut out.
"Come on, EDI, Shepard wants to see us," sighed Joker as he stood up as easily as he could, "we better go see what she wants."
"Agreed," said EDI and she stood from the co-pilot's seat and together they made their way down the quiet CIC and then to the elevator.
"Why's it so quiet?" asked Joker as the elevator lurched up.
"I believe everyone is asleep," replied EDI, checking her omni-tool to confirm her theory, "Shepard appears to be the only one awake besides you, Mr. Moreau."
Joker sighed, his legs were aching and he desperately wanted to sleep but he knew he had to speak with Elissa and then continue running tests until he could not think of anymore to run, he was glad when the elevator doors opened and he exited the elevator as quickly as possible. When he and EDI entered Elissa's room she was leaning over her desk, reading another data pad, it looked as if she had been reading quite a few of them in the last few hours on account of the fact they were scattered all over the room.
"Have a seat," said Elissa, hardly glancing up from her reading, "I'll be with you two in a moment."
Joker looked at EDI who shrugged and they both took a seat on the couch, waiting patiently as Elissa continued to read what Joker could only assume were reports on what she had requested earlier. He glanced at EDI whom was sitting poker straight and he started to gently pat his hands against his thighs to the beat of a song he was thinking of, looking around the room while he waited for Elissa to address him and EDI.
"Sorry to keep you two waiting," said Elissa as she walked over from her desk to the couch, standing in front of them, "I've been reading over the reports and what we're being charged with, and based on what I've read, we're more than likely going to lose the _Normandy_."
Joker swallowed hard, the thought of losing his ship was painful, "Please, tell me you have a way around that."
Elissa nodded, "EDI, when Joker and I leave the _Normandy_ for our trial, you are to initiate lockdown mode as quietly as possible. No one is going to have the authority to disengage the lockdown mode except Joker and myself. Is that understood, EDI?"
"Yes, Shepard," said EDI, nodding slightly, "How are we going to allow the access of food and other supplies?"
"Kasumi has that covered," replied Elissa, "I didn't ask for details, but I trust her to do the job without compromising the safety of my ship."
"How exactly is locking everyone into the ship going to keep the Alliance from taking her back?" asked Joker, slightly annoyed.
"It'll keep everyone I want in, in and everyone I don't want in, out," said Elissa, running her fingers through her hair.
"I like that idea," yawned Joker, taking off his cap for a second to scratch his head before putting it back on.
"I originally thought that we'd just have everyone leave the Citadel," said Elissa wearily, she could feel sleep creeping up on her, "but then I figured either the crew'd be denied access to leave or if they managed to get out they would be unable to get back in."
"Your plan is sound, Shepard," said EDI, standing, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and record the FTL capability findings."
EDI then left the cabin, Elissa and Joker watching her go before they turned back to face each other, neither one of them feeling their best.
"You look like you did after you killed that Reaper on foot," said Joker, quietly, concern evident in his voice.
"You look like you did after the Collectors took the crew the second time," sighed Elissa, leaning against the wall behind her, "I'm just trying not to think about the trial or the fact that my ex-fiance has sold us out to the Council and Alliance."
"You think he was planning this for a while?" asked Joker, joining her against the wall.
"Maybe, maybe not," said Elissa, "I'm trying not to focus too much on that, right now, I'm worried about losing my ship, my command, and my pilot."
Joker blinked a couple of times, hoping he had heard her right, "You're worried about losing me?"
Elissa gave him a tired smile and shrugged, "I can't help it, Joker, you've been my rock for almost four years and that kind of bond isn't easily broken or forgotten. I worried about you while I was fighting Saren and you were fighting Sovereign, when we went through the Omega four relay, as I destroyed the Reapers."
"Damn, Ellie," said Joker quietly, looking down at his feet, "you really worried that much during battles? I'm flattered."
"Why do you think I don't have fingernails or decent skin around my nail beds?" chuckled Elissa, showing off her poorly manicured hands.
"When would you manage to damage your fingers like that?" asked Joker, grinning at her.
"Shuttle rides, Mako rides, cab rides," said Elissa, "I'd take off my gloves and just pick and bite my fingers like crazy before landing, just thinking about what could happen to you and the _Normandy_, but mostly about you."
She smiled at him and he at her, she could feel that familiar thick air around them, heavy with words unspoken and actions not yet done, _'I could stay here all day,'_ thought Elissa as she looked into his eyes, that now appeared to be green in the light.
Then Joker yawned, long and loudly, turning away while covering his mouth to spare her the unpleasant sight of his gaping mouth.
"Tired?" asked Elissa smiling smugly.
"That's always a possibility," said Joker, wiping his eyes, "you wouldn't mind if I just showed myself out, would you?"
Elissa's smile faded, she was slightly disappointed that he was going to leave but she knew he needed sleep and so did she, "Yeah, it's okay, Joker."
Joker could see the disappointment flicker across her face briefly, "Ellie, if you can't sleep or have another nightmare, just come find me. Promise me you will."
"I promise," said Elissa smiling wearily, "now, off to bed, soldier, that's a direct order."
Joker stood at attention and gave her a salute with a wink, "Aye, aye, ma'am." Then he left the cabin, throwing her his winning smile before the door closed.
Elissa changed out of her uniform and into her sweats, then she laid down in her bed trying to think about something pleasant and not about her impending trial or her traitorous ex-fiance.
"This is going to be a very long night," sighed Elissa as she fought her conscious mind to sleep, eventually winning the battle, though how peaceful it would be she could not be sure.
12. Walking Away
Elissa turned the wrench one last time, securing the bolt in place, "That's the last one, Steve."
"Great job, Shepard," said Steve who was laying next to her, replacing some wires, "you really know your way around mechanics."
"Garrus taught me," said Elissa as she looked around for anymore damage, "he said I needed to help out with repairs after all of the crap I put the Mako through."
"He's still sore about that?" chuckled Steve as he pushed himself out from under the shuttle.
"I swear he tears up when he thinks about it," said Elissa, smirking as she pushed herself out from under the shuttle as well, then sat up on the wide body creeper, they had been working on repairs to the shuttle since after breakfast and now they were finally done with the thrusters.
"I can't believe this hunk of metal was in such bad shape," sighed Steve as he stood up, looking over the shuttle, "you'd have thought the mechanics on base would have done a better job with her."
"Oh please," scoffed Elissa, wiping some grease from her forearm, "whatever gave you that idea, the fact they haven't blown up an engine in two weeks?"
Steve chuckled, "You've got a point there, Elissa." He offered her his hand and she took it, standing up with his help.
"Hey!" called James, carrying a couple bottles of water, "You two finished?"
"Yeah, no thanks to you, Vega," said Steve, feigning contempt as he caught the bottle James threw at him.
"Lighten up, Esteban," laughed James, handing Elissa a bottle, "you know I'm too big to fit underneath the shuttle."
"But not too big to fit underneath Miranda," mumbled Steve and Elissa nearly choked on her water.
"What?" asked Elissa, wiping the water from her chin, looking at James who had just turned a very dark shade of red.
"James has been seen around Vancouver with Miss Lawson whenever she is in town," said Steve simply, shrugging his shoulders as if this was not huge news, "What's the big deal?"
"You could have told me," said Elissa, playfully punching James in the massive bicep.
"I regret telling Esteban now," muttered James as he took a sip of his own water, glaring at Steve who was calmly wiping grease and oil off his hands.
"Calm down, James," said Elissa smiling, "I'm glad you finally found someone."
James gave her a small smile, "So, what's left on the long to-do list you've saddled us with, Lola?"
"Lets see," said Elissa wiping the sweat from her brow, "Shuttle's fixed, inventory's been processed, Kasumi's taking care of how we're getting supplies, Joker's run just about every test known to man on the ship, and Tali's taken care of the core. I can't think of anything else right now, unless you two can."
"Are you going to let us in on this grand scheme you've hatched, Lola?" asked James, leaning against the shuttle, eyeing Elissa suspiciously.
"Not yet," sighed Elissa, thinking about the crazy plan she had come up with less than twelve hours ago.
"Lola, you know you can trust us," said James pointing at himself and Steve. She smiled at them James had a point, she could trust him and Steve but right now, she wanted to wait to tell them just in case something went wrong, then they could not be implicated in her plan to maintain control of the ship.
"I'll tell you later," said Elissa picking up the hoodie she had discarded earlier, "I'm going to go and see if anything else needs to be taken care of, see you at dinner."
* * *
Elissa dropped against the wall of the elevator and sighed heavily, she had barely gotten any sleep the night before and now she had to make it through this day without cracking once, so far she was maintaining her composure. The elevator stopped at the CIC and she got off looking around for someone to talk with she then saw Samantha Traynor standing by the galaxy map, Samantha had always been a voice of encouragement since she had started working on the _Normandy_, and right now Elissa needed some encouragement.
"Commander," said Samantha happily as Elissa approached, "It's been so long since I've seen you."
"Yeah, I guess," said Elissa smiling, "although we have been on the ship together."
"True," said Samantha, "but you've been so busy with this trial and all, it's like you're a phantom, everyone knows you're here but not where you are."
"Didn't realize my absence was affecting the crew," said Elissa, looking around at everyone in the CIC, "I'll try to be visible as much as possible today, God knows what'll happen tomorrow."
"Do you really think it'll be that bad?" asked Samantha in a quiet voice, "I mean, are we really going to lose the _Normandy_?"
"I'll be honest with you, Traynor," said Elissa, "that's how it's looking right now, but I'm preparing for the worst, so just wait patiently we might be worried for nothing." She hated to lie to Samantha, especially since they had become good friends, but right now it was best for her to think that there was nothing to worry about.
"Well, Shepard," said Samantha, turning to face the terminal, "whatever happens, I know you'll come out on top."
"Thanks, Traynor," said Elissa smiling wearily, she looked up and caught a glimpse of Joker's hat over his chair, "If you or any of the crew need me in the next few minutes, I'll be in the cockpit with Joker." Traynor nodded as Elissa left and made her way up the cockpit, eager to speak with someone who would not ask why they were doing all of these checks.
"Alright, so the kinetic barriers need to be upgraded," said Joker, as Elissa quietly entered behind him, "Anything else, EDI?"
"Not currently, Mr. Moreau," said EDI, "I will let you know if there is anything else."
"Much appreciated, EDI," said Joker as he used the intercom, "Hey, Jacob, EDI says the kinetic barriers need an upgrade."
"Alright, thanks, Joker," said Jacob.
"No problem," said Joker and he relaxed into his chair, releasing a rush of air in a long sigh, "I've never had to do so many tests so fast."
"If it's too much," said Elissa and she watched Joker jump in his seat, "then maybe you should take a break."
"Shit, Ellie, way to scare a guy," said Joker as he spun around in his chair, "and no, it's not too much, just a lot."
"What's the difference?" laughed Elissa as she sat down in the co-pilot's chair, facing him.
"Too much means I can't do it," said Joker, "a lot means enough work to keep me busy."
"Noted," said Elissa smiling, "Where's EDI?"
"Her body is in the AI core," replied Joker, glancing over at her, he felt a rush of blood to places he wished it would not go as he caught a glimpse of the skintight white tank top and black cotton shorts, her long legs stretched out gracefully.
"What's she doing down there?" asked Elissa, trying not to notice Joker's lingering gaze, though she could feel her body becoming flushed as he stared at her.
"Uh, not sure," said Joker snapping his eyes reluctantly back to the console, "she said something about a backup import or something like that, I wasn't paying much attention, too focused on reading Garrus' report." He hoped she would not catch him in his miserable excuse of a lie, Garrus had not sent him anything of late, and he was sure Elissa knew that.
"What did the report say?" asked Elissa slyly.
"Calibrations to the main gun are perfect while the starboard guns need a few more tweaks," said Joker, glancing at the report that just sounded off his omni-tool.
"Always something needing to be calibrated," sighed Elissa, facing EDI's console, "How'd you sleep?"
"Pretty well, actually," replied Joker, he looked over, seeing the very dark circles underneath her eyes, "Did you have any more nightmares?"
"Nope, just couldn't turn my mind off," said Elissa, closing her eyes, "I'm scared, Jeff."
Joker stared at her wide eyed, he had never heard her utter those words before, not once in the time he had known her. She had faced some formidable adversaries in the past that would have made the Alliance brass shit themselves, without hesitation, "What's scaring you, Ellie?"
"This is an enemy I can't fight," said Elissa, "this enemy moves in the shadows, pulling strings and tangling me up in red tape, I'd rather face Harbinger again than go through this bull."
"Please don't say that," whispered Joker, looking down at his lap, "I couldn't go through that again."
Elissa stared at him, "What did you say?"
"I said I couldn't watch you run into the arms of Harbinger again," said Joker sharply, he was trying to fight the tears that had welled up in his eyes.
"Joker, I didn't realize. . . " started Elissa but she was too stunned to speak, she knew she worried like hell about him, but she could not believe that he worried about her so much, he was the one always telling her that she was the unstoppable Commander Shepard.
"I know," said Joker, reaching across, putting his hand on her shoulder, "I'm sorry for snapping at you, just please, don't say things like that."
"I promise I won't," said Elissa, rubbing his forearm, then her omni-tool sounded off, "I have to go, message from Kasumi, hopefully she has an update for me."
She stood up as he retracted his arm from her shoulder, going back to his calculations, suddenly he felt something on his cheek and he realized she was kissing it.
"What was that for?" asked Joker, stunned.
"I'm not sure," replied Elissa, giggling behind her hand, surprising even herself. She bounded off for the cargo bay, still wondering why she had kissed Joker on the cheek, not even thinking twice about whether or not someone would see or he would protest.
Joker sat there in his chair and pondered why each trees' leaves changed a different color in the fall, why the ocean changed colors depending on its mood, and why in hell Commander Elissa Shepard had just kissed him willingly on the cheek. _'Another impossible question from the universe,'_ thought Joker as he happily went back to his work, suddenly, calculations were not as dull now.
* * *
Rupert had prepared a special dinner for what they all were now assuming was their last night with Joker and Elissa on board the _Normandy_, he had made spaghetti and meatballs in homemade marinara sauce with several large loaves of French bread coated in a butter-garlic mixture. The smell of the sizzling meatballs had brought most of the ship to the mess long before dinner was ready, it had been ages since they had had actual meat instead of the imitation crap they had been fed during the rebuilding of Council space, when trade and imports were limited. Joker was already sitting with Hannah and Tali, he was definitely going to miss these moments, when the whole crew could come together at meals and interact like one large and very loud family.
"You should definitely come to Rannoch, Admiral Shepard," said Tali, "you'd be amazed just watching the Geth and Quarians interact, both sides behave as if there had not been the war. Not only that, but we already have several settlements and most of the children are able to run around without having to wear their enviro-suit."
"That's incredible," said Hannah, truly impressed with the rebuilding of Rannoch, "I think I should go, see if there is anyway I can help out, though I'm sure there won't be much need for an Alliance admiral with all of the Geth and Quarians working so hard already."
"Oh, no, Admiral Shepard," said Tali quickly, "there is always a need for help, and you would be an excellent ally to have at this time."
"Tali, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Hannah?" asked Hannah, smiling, "That admiral crap is just for the brass, not even my own soldiers call me Admiral Shepard."
"I knew I liked you for a reason," said Joker smiling at Hannah, "your informality when it comes to rank really resonates with me."
"I would assume as much," said Hannah, smirking, "I'm really glad we met, Joker, you've been a great friend to Jackie."
"I do what I can," said Joker, shrugging his shoulders, "I'm just glad I was given a second chance to redeem myself."
"You still feel responsible for her death, don't you?" asked Hannah, putting her hand on his in a motherly fashion.
Joker nodded, the knot in his stomach tightening even more, he was sure Hannah knew about Elissa's death but not that he had been the reason for her untimely loss. Thinking she had been aware that he had killed her only child now made him skeptical of whether she really liked him or was being passive aggressive.
"Please, don't blame yourself," said Hannah, he could see in her eyes begging him to let it go, "you were both doing your job, you saved a majority of the crew that day. She died to protect you, that's what she does best, you of all people should know that by now."
"Yeah, I guess," said Joker, the guilt was still there but at least he knew Hannah was not angry or bitter that he had been a stubborn mule that refused to leave his post.
"Hey, Lisa," said Tali as Elissa sat down next to Joker, her arm briefly brushing against his, causing the hairs to stand up on end.
"Hey, Tali, what did I miss?" asked Elissa trying to sound cheerful.
"We were just talking about Rannoch and the developing of some new settlements," said Hannah quickly, winking at Joker as she spoke.
"I should go there sometime," said Elissa, smiling at Tali, "see how everything's going, I'm really interested in seeing the Geth working together to build something instead of killing everything organic."
"That seems like so long ago," said Tali, shaking her head slowly, "I can't believe that it was only four years ago that we were on opposite sides of the Geth and now we're working side by side with them. All thanks to you of course, Lisa."
"I was very impressed when I read that report from Hackett," said Hannah, practically glowing with pride, "I nearly framed it but thought that would look a little silly."
"Mom, you were really going to frame my report?" asked Elissa flabbergasted, "That reminds me of when you hung up my acceptance letter from the Alliance above your desk, then Dad wanted to hang my promotion orders when I was promoted to Commander. They're both still there aren't they?"
"Yep, they're hanging in my cabin as we speak," said Hannah, her eyes misting over, "you've made me a very proud mother, Elissa."
"I always tried to, Mom," said Elissa, giving a small smile to her mother, "I never wanted you once to think that I had compromised my virtue or integrity for the sake of what was easy."
"I never doubted you, Elissa," said Hannah, caressing her daughter's cheek like she used to when Elissa was a small child.
"Dinner!" shouted Rupert, "Come and get it!" There was a mad scramble to get in line, everyone wanting to get a helping of the delicious food that Rupert had made.
"What's the occasion, Cookie?" asked Joker as he handed Rupert his bowl, Rupert gave him a look of contempt as he filled the dish nearly full of spaghetti.
"Just wanted to do something nice for you and the Commander," said Rupert trying to hide the truth with a flimsy lie.
Joker patted him on the shoulder, he had a feeling that the truth behind this special meal had to with the fact that this was probably the last meal they would have with the crew altogether for maybe months.
"Thanks for the food, Rupert," said Elissa as he handed her a bowl, "I really appreciate all you've done since you signed on, even though you started off working with Cerberus, I can't think of the _Normandy_ without you."
"And I can't think of the _Normandy_ without you either, Shepard," said Rupert, trying to sound cheerful but notes of melancholy were still evident in his voice, "I've enjoyed being part of your crew, it's been the greatest honor in my life, and I know nothing else can top having worked with you."
Elissa could feel the tears in her eyes, she knew if he kept on speaking he would eventually cause her to release them, "Thank you, Rupert, you have no idea how much that means to me to hear you say that."
"Commander Shepard," said Donnelly, standing up from his seat at one of the tables, "I would just like to say, it has been the second greatest pleasure in my life, having worked with you. I wouldn't trade my time on the _Normandy_ for nothing else in this entire universe."
"Only the second?" asked Elissa, smirking as she raised an eyebrow.
"Well, even my beautiful wife outranks you, Shepard," said Donnelly, looking down at Daniels, their faces were both glowing with love and he sat down.
"I'm guessing you all have pretty much figured out that this is most likely the last night Joker and I will spend on the _Normandy_," said Elissa, eyeing her crew, they all nodded.
"I also want to say something," said Daniels, standing, "I will always be in debt to both Shepard and Joker, they risked the safety of the ship and their lives to rescue all of the crew from the Collectors, and because of them I am now happily married and have had the greatest adventures of my life."
"I have worked with both Shepard and Joker from the beginning," said Garrus, "Shepard is one of the best marksman I have ever had the pleasure of upstaging, and my truest friend, I am proud to have worked beside her in many a battle. Joker, although his mouth may get him into a few tight spots, he has never said anything that was not already what the rest of us was already thinking. He might not be part of the ground crew, but he is a warrior in his own way, using this amazing ship as his weapon and making it dance under his expert hands."
Liara stood up, smiling at both Joker and Elissa, "Lisa has been my friend from the start, she trusted me when most would not, and supported me with whatever harebrained theory I had come up with. With her help, I was able to save the love of my life and now am happily pregnant, if it had not been for her I might be having a very different life. Joker, I have always envied your mastery as a pilot, after having seen you in action I was inspired to try and master certain skills of my own but I still do not come anywhere near your level expertise in comparison."
Tali was the next to stand, even from a distance, Elissa could see her visor was already steamed on the inside, "Lisa, I have always looked up to you like you were my older sister, entrusted my life to you, and we have had each others' backs from the start. You have given me more than I feel I deserve: you allowed me to bring important technology back to the fleet from my pilgrimage, defended me during my own trial and mourned the loss of my father with me, and then you go and return my homeland to my people. Joker, you have kept me safe just as much as Lisa has, comforted me when the rest of my people all but threw me in the nearest airlock and been my dearest friend. I will remember those memories just as fondly and often as I remember those of Lisa, keelah se'lai."
Elissa was practically in tears, all of these speeches touched her heart in a very special way, she was aware of all her accomplishments and attributes but to hear how her friends spoke about her made everything she had done just that much more important. There were not any words she could say that would be equivalent to those that had just been spoken, and she was not going to even try to, instead she walked up to each of her crew members if they had spoken or not and hugged them then thanked them for their service and loyalty.
Joker stood there in awe as he watched her work her magic, even without words she was still able to convey to her crew how she felt about them and how much she truly appreciated their service. He was so enraptured with her act of benevolence towards the crew that he did not hear Garrus walk up beside him.
"Are you ever going to tell her?" asked Garrus quietly.
"I really don't know, Garrus," said Joker sighing, "I want to, but right now, that's probably the very last thing on her mind and I don't want to complicate anything for her."
"Joker," said Garrus, "just grow a quad and tell her, spirits, if this was happening between Turians then you would have been beat out for her a very long time ago."
"I was already beat out, remember?" sneered Joker, "She probably doesn't want to get involved with anyone right now, I'm just going to leave her alone about romance, see what happens if I do that."
Garrus shook his head, "Just don't let too much time go by, you might not get another chance, just saying."
"I appreciate the optimism," sighed Joker as Elissa got closer to where they were standing, still happily embracing each individual crew member, she winked at him as she went in to hug Garrus. He had never heard of any other commander doing what she had, taking the time to go and thank each person of the crew one-on-one, she was truly a unique person.
Elissa finished hugging Tali, who's visor was now clear of any steam though she could still hear Tali sniffling, and then she looked at Joker surprising him with a warm embrace. She pulled him into her tight, enjoying the feeling of her chest pressed against his, his arms snaking around her torso.
"What's this for?" asked Joker into her neck, resisting every urge in his body that was telling him to nip the soft skin.
"I didn't want you to feel left out," replied Elissa, smiling as his beard tickled her nose and cheek, the smell of spices filling the air around her. Reluctantly she pulled away, there was something important she needed to say to the crew, give them an insight into what was happening and to give them a choice.
"Everyone," called Elissa in a raised voice, "I can't let you in on everything that is going on right now or what my true plan is, but I will give you a very important choice that does not need to be made now: you have the choice of staying on the _Normandy_ until I return or you can leave and go back home. If you decide to leave, you will not be treated or seen any differently from those who stayed on the ship, and the reverse is true as well. Like I said, you don't have to make the choice now, but you must have made up your mind before Joker and I leave tomorrow and if you are going to leave you must do so about the time he and I go to our trial."
There was some muttering amongst the crew as everyone talked about the choice they had been given and they all started to eat, Elissa sat with her mother and Joker, though she hardly had an appetite. Walking away from the _Normandy_ for a second time was going to be the hardest thing she had ever done, it was difficult enough the first time but at least she knew who was going to be looking after her ship, now she was not sure if she was handing it over to a friend or an enemy. She felt something touch the hand that was sitting in her lap and she looked down, seeing Joker's hand covering hers, and in some strange way she had a feeling that everything would work out for the best.
13. Condemned Without Trial
_'Damn medal,'_ thought Elissa as she pinned her medal for bravery onto her dress blues, her mother had insisted that she wear every medal she had ever earned as a way to remind everyone that saw her of all she had accomplished in her military career. When she was satisfied with the placement of the defiant medal, she gave herself a once over in the mirror, smoothing the top of her hair to get the stray hairs under control.
"This is the best it's going to get," sighed Elissa and she looked around her cabin, the one place that had been completely hers from the moment she set foot in there and could not be touched by Cerberus, she had even grown fond of the fish tank that contained the most colorful fish in the galaxy. Glancing over at her desk she held her breath, next to her personal terminal was her framed dog tags that Liara had given her after the mission of dealing with the old Shadow Broker, and beside them rested her helmet from her old uniform. That helmet still showed the signs of scorch marks and chips from her descent into the atmosphere of Alchera, when she had found it on the planet's surface two years after her death she had been hesitant to look into it, she feared there still might have been pieces of her still attached. Much to her relief there had not been, but looking at it now, she no longer felt a chill roll down her spine instead she felt a sense of pride knowing that she had conquered impossible feats including death itself. She was so lost in her thoughts and memories that she did not hear Joker enter her cabin.
"Ellie," said Joker from behind, startling her, "it's almost time to go." Joker too was in his dress blues and he watched her reaction to his words and it was pure melancholy, the sparkle that was usually there in her eyes had faded, he had seen this look on her before when she had lost a friend.
"Jeff," said Elissa, still looking at her desk, "I'm so sorry."
Joker moved closer to her, looking also at the helmet that rested on her desk, the knot in his stomach clenching so tight he nearly threw up, "What are you sorry for, Ellie?"
"For putting you through this," said Elissa, turning to face him now, "this was my mess and I should have cleaned it up, I should have made sure you wouldn't be taken away with me, made sure that you kept the _Normandy_."
"Elissa," said Joker, "if you weren't on the _Normandy_, I wouldn't stay on, I'd follow you anywhere, pilot anything you were on even a crappy little merchant ship."
Elissa smiled, "I would never ask you to waste your talent on a merchant ship, that'd be like putting a college professor in a kindergarten classroom, absolutely wasted genius."
Joker groaned in frustration not caring if Elissa heard or not he was trying to tell her in his own roundabout way that she was the reason he had signed on with Cerberus in the first place, that he had willingly given up almost two years of his life just to watch over her while she was being rebuilt, that he wanted to jump out of the _Normandy_ to stop her when she went running towards the beam during the Final Battle, all because he loved her.
"Joker, are you alright?" asked Elissa, she was concerned that he might be upset or something based on that groan.
"No, Ellie, I'm not alright," said Joker and he took her hand in his, "I've been trying too hard to fight against. . . What I mean to say is, we've known each other a long time and. . . I've been trying to tell you. . . ."
"Yes?" asked Elissa, her heart fluttering in her chest.
He did not say anything, he just pulled her against him wrapping his arms around her body, snuggly holding her to his form then leaned down slightly and brought his lips to hers in a deep and passionate kiss. His body seemed to act on its own, his hands traveled to different areas, one hand on her neck his fingers twisting in the stray hairs beneath her bun, and the other one roaming up and down her back finally resting on her lower back though he desperately wanted to reach down lower. He felt her hips press against his and her thigh gently rested on his manhood, the sensation nearly bringing him to his knees as kissed her even deeper than before. She was kissing him back, with as much or more passion, then he felt the tip of her tongue run gently on his lower lip and he eagerly allowed it entry and he moaned when she ran it across his, the mint from her toothpaste overwhelming his taste buds as his tongue danced with hers.
Elissa enjoyed the feeling of his lips against hers, even the tickling of his beard was pleasant on her skin, she nearly moaned when she felt his hand on her neck working her hair with his fingers. She involuntarily pressed her hips closer to his when his hand rested on her lower back feeling his impressive manhood on her thigh, at her touch he seemed to want her more, kissing her deeper. She wanted more, to bring this to even greater heights of pleasure, so she softly ran her tongue across his lower lip and she gained entry into his mouth much to her delight. Feeling bold she ran her tongue across his and relished the feeling of the moan he released that seemed to radiate through her as well, and she wanted to groan when their tongues began to dance.
After a few more moments of being locked together in the amorous embrace of lips, they reluctantly parted, but did not release the hold they had on each other instead they stood there with their foreheads pressed together. Joker could feel his heart pounding hard in his chest though the blood was noticeably somewhere else that was becoming rather painful as it strained against his zipper wanting to be released. He looked into Elissa's eyes, the sparkle and life had returned to them, even if she told him never to touch her again he was glad that he had been able to bring her back from the dark place she was going in her mind.
"Wow," breathed Elissa, smiling, "you're really an amazing kisser."
Joker smiled, kissing her on the nose, "You're not too bad yourself, Ellie."
Elissa's smile began to fade, she wanted to keep kissing him and never stop, wanted to feel his lips on her neck and other intimate areas of her body but right now that was not what she needed to be concerned about. Right now she needed to be thinking about the fact she was going to prison, losing her ship, getting stripped of her Spectre status and throwing the lives of everyone around her completely off track. She knew she was supposed to be worried about all of those things but in Joker's arms, those problems did not seem to worry her as much as they probably should have, she felt that all was right in the galaxy as she stood there pressed up against his chest with his arms wrapped protectively around her.
"Elissa," said Joker, his forehead still on hers, "I'm not sure if this between us is going to become anything with all that we're going through, but I just want you to know, this has been the best ride of my life and the greatest reward."
"Jeff, you're—" started Elissa but she was silenced by a soft kiss that took her breath away, when she was released of the kiss, she saw Joker looking at her with an expression that made her want to never let him go.
"I know, Ellie," said Joker, and he let go of her completely, "I think we should go say good bye to everyone now."
Elissa nodded and allowed him to lead her out of the room otherwise she was not sure if she would ever leave her cabin.
* * *
While they stood in the elevator, she tired to put on a brave face but each time she thought of leaving her friends the mask would fall to the ground with a loud thud, this was not going to be easy. They finally arrived at the CIC though Elissa had wished that the ride had taken longer, when they got out they saw a line of people waiting for them each one dressed in their blues, all were there to say good bye to their commander and pilot.
"Who's leaving with us?" asked Elissa as she stared at her crew, "I could call some taxis if necessary."
"None of us are leaving, Commander," said Donnelly, stepping forward, "We are going to stand beside you and fight for the _Normandy_."
Elissa was touched, she had expected at least a few members to be leaving the ship, but the overwhelming support she was receiving from them was humbling, "You all know this requires a great deal of sacrifice, correct?"
"We know, Shepard," said Daniels, "but we've all talked it over and we are all willing to work together to get through this with you. We're not going to abandon our commander or our pilot."
Elissa placed a trembling hand over her mouth to stifle the sob that was threatening, she had always known her crew was fiercely loyal to her but this was more than she ever could have asked for, and she felt her legs give way. She dropped to her hands and knees, the crew rushing forward to help her but she waved them off, "I'll be fine, just give me a second." Another lie to the crew, she was not fine, nor would she be for a very long time this leaving was killing her, _'I have a duty to these people as a commander and now I can't even do that,'_ she thought still sitting there on the floor when she felt a reassuring hand squeeze her shoulder. Glancing up she saw Joker easing himself down to the floor, his eyes never leaving her for a moment, and for a split second she thought of telling him not to help her but then she realized that he was losing just as much as she was and somehow was still being her rock.
"Elissa, you have to get up," said Joker to her quietly but firmly in her ear, "you have to be Commander Shepard, I know it's hard, but you have to do it."
Elissa nodded, she knew she was being ridiculous but damn, it was a lot easier to stay there on the floor like a coward than being Commander Shepard. Reluctantly she stood with help from Joker and her mother, and she looked to her crew, all were smiling at her and she knew they had understood her momentary weakness.
"You are the best crew the Alliance has in its service," said Elissa strongly, her voice gaining confidence the more she spoke, "we have gone to hell and we have survived, together we faced enemies most can only imagine and we are stayed strong, this crew has singlehandedly shown to everyone whom has doubted us that we are the best. I could not have made it as far as I have without any of you, I will never forget your loyalty or your camaraderie, I consider you all my family." She looked to her mother who smiled at her, encouraging her to continue, "With any luck, I will be seeing you all again, but if not then fight for the _Normandy_, fight for your pilot, and most importantly fight for the chance to show those asshole politicians what soldiers are really made of!"
The crew cheered, it might not have been her strongest speech but it was the most personal one she had delivered, and she knew the crew had understood how much she loved them all. One by one, they all came up and saluted her, some stopping long enough to hug her before moving on to Joker, who was also saluted despite being only their pilot and she could tell by his face he felt undeserving of this honor.
"You've earned this," said Elissa quietly and Joker smiled at her.
"If you say so, Commander," said Joker as Daniels hugged him gently.
"We'll take good care of your baby," said Donnelly to Joker as he shook his hand, "she'll be in pristine condition when you get back."
Joker wanted to believe that he would indeed be returning but knew the reality was probably a different story though he said nothing to contradict Donnelly, "Thanks, Donnelly, I really appreciate it and I can't imagine the _Normandy_ in better hands."
Donnelly nodded and left the queue allowing Garrus to stand in front of Joker for what might be the last time.
"How do you know when a Turian is out of ammo?" asked Joker, trying to keep a straight face.
"When he switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon," replied Garrus, flexing his mandibles in an effort not to smile, "Why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?"
"So their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills," said Joker and they shook hands, out of the corner of his eye, Joker saw Elissa shaking her head but she was smiling so he counted it as a victory.
"Take care of yourself, Joker," said Garrus.
"You too, Garrus," said Joker smiling as they dropped hands. Garrus was the last person in line and Joker could feel atmosphere change when he realized this, everyone was starting to become sad as they watched him and Elissa leave the _Normandy _and probably to not return for a very long time. Just before entering decontamination, they both turned back to see the entire crew saluting them again, though most now had tears in their eyes even James looked like he was fighting back a waterfall.
"James, you're in charge," said Elissa, "keep the crew safe until I return."
"I will, Commander, stay strong," said James and Elissa nodded, then they turned and left the _Normandy_.
* * *
When they were clear of the doors, they heard the kinetic shields activate and shimmer across the sleek body of the _Normandy_ and they knew EDI had listened to what Elissa had asked of her, hopefully no one would try to sabotage her again.
"Commander Shepard, Flight Lieutenant Moreau," said a familiar voice, "I'm here to escort you to both to the Tower."
Elissa was relieved to see Steve's boyfriend, Edward Oakley standing there in a C-Sec uniform with a shuttle behind him.
"Edward," said Elissa, "glad to see you again, wish it was under better circumstances."
"Same here, Shepard," said Edward giving her a small smile, "Are you both ready to go?"
Elissa nodded and Edward motioned for them to follow him into the shuttle, once they were settled in the pilot took off following a route that Elissa was unfamiliar with since they had not even used the elevator to get to the transit service.
"Why are we flying this route?" asked Elissa.
"It's for your protection," said Edward, "just to make sure that no one will follow you and try to harm you, it's happened before during treason trials like these."
"To who?" asked Joker, and Elissa gave him a look that told him he should not have asked that question.
"Captain David Anderson," said Edward shrugging, "He was tried for treason after Shepard died, but since he was appointed as a councilor he was found innocent, and someone tried to shoot him en route to Arcturus."
"Do you think you could answer a question that's been bothering me, Oakley?" asked Elissa, her commander voice now being used.
"I'll try my best, ma'am," replied Edward.
"Why aren't Joker and I being tried at Arcturus?" asked Elissa, standing up, holding one of the overhead bars for support, "If this is a treason trial, why aren't we being tried on Earth?"
"Probably because you're a Spectre and you both are traitors to the Council by having worked with Cerberus in the past," replied Edward, shrugging his shoulders. Elissa stiffened, suddenly she was not liking Edward Oakley much anymore, he had already labeled them as traitors without hesitating or justification.
Joker glared at Oakley, and he could tell by Elissa's rigid stature that she had detected the subtle animosity that was being projected by him as well. He was sorely tempted to call for another shuttle to take them the rest of the way to the Tower but he knew if he did that would only raise more suspicion resulting in more questions than answers.
"Where's Hackett?" asked Joker sharply and Edward stared at him a moment before speaking.
"I would assume waiting at the Tower for you two," said Edward calmly, "unless something's come up that might delay him."
"What might delay him?" asked Elissa, startled though quickly covering her surprise.
"He's a busy man with many responsibilities, Commander," said Edward, adjusting his assault rifle in his arms, "I don't which exact meeting or briefing might prevent him from making it to your sentencing."
"You know an awful lot for a C-Sec officer," said Elissa eyeing him suspiciously.
"Helps to have connections all over, as you well know, Commander," said Edward, brushing off her comment.
They remained quiet the rest of the way to the Tower, when they arrived they saw a huge crowd standing outside of it, and Elissa knew all too well that these were the worst bloodhounds in the galaxy: reporters. She sighed, this was the last group of people she wanted to see right now, all they would do to anything she said would be distort and misinterpret what she was telling them. When they landed, Edward and the pilot placed themselves behind Elissa and Joker before opening the doors to the swarm of reporters that waited beyond the foot thick metal door.
"You ready?" asked Joker, trying to calm himself down, he had very little experience when it came to dealing with reporters so he was going to go by Elissa's example when they exited the shuttle.
"Ready as I'll ever be," sighed Elissa, and she gave him a crash course in media training "Don't look any of them in the eye, if you are repeatedly hounded by a reporter with questions just answer 'No comment,' they really hate that answer, also don't mention anything in a whisper to me that could imply to them that we're hiding something. Just look straight ahead and if I start talking to a reporter, you just keep on going, don't stop and wait for me and don't talk to anyone."
"Got it," said Joker and the doors flew open and there was the immediate hum of the reporters' questions not to mention the flashes from their cameras and the lights from their orbs. He followed Elissa's instructions and did not look at any of the reporters though it was rather difficult with several of them getting close to his face, demanding answers, he answered, "No comment," to several of them which really was a repellant to them. Just then, a very familiar reporter jumped in their path, it was Khalisah al-Jilani and she seemed to be very eager to get a word with Elissa.
"Commander, is it true that you are being tried for treason for your past dealings with the terrorist group, Cerberus?" asked Khalisah, smug as ever.
"No comment," said Elissa and she tried to move around the reporter but was blocked.
"Commander, is it also true that you were responsible for the death of hundreds of thousands of Batarians?" asked Khalisah, physically placing her arms across Elissa's path.
"I said, no comment, Khalisah," remarked Elissa, her tone now firm.
"Humanity is wondering how the great Commander Shepard has fallen so quickly from grace," smirked Khalisah, "You owe it to the people to give them an answer."
"She owes them no such explanation, al-Jilani," said Emily Wong, coming up from behind several reporters and she smiled at Elissa, "If anything, we owe her an explanation for turning on her so quickly and why no one is supporting her innocence."
Elissa could have kissed Emily, that was the most support she had received from the press in a very long time, "Thanks, Emily, by the way, I'll gladly give you an exclusive interview if I can as a proper thank you for your support."
Emily looked stunned but not as surprised as Khalisah, "Thank you, Shepard, I promise it will only be questions you're at liberty to answer."
"Why does this bitch get the interview?" asked Khalisah, angrily though she was not aware that she had angered Elissa a great deal now.
"Because she is ten times the reporter you are, al-Jilani," snapped Elissa fiercely, "Emily has always been for making the galaxy a better place, unlike you, and I will always be proud to affiliate myself with her over you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to my trial."
Elissa pushed passed both of the reporters with Joker following closely behind her, tempted to give Khalisah a gloating smile but decided against it when he saw her face, so he just walked by her giving little if any expression. He was rather impressed with how well Elissa had handled being bombarded by the press, if it had been him, he would have given them every smart-ass answer he could come up with.
"You're really great at this," said Joker as they entered the Citadel Tower, luckily for them Edward and the other guard were keeping the reporters from entering behind them.
"Thanks, Joker," said Elissa giving him a small smile as they ascended the staircase, her legs feeling more and more like jelly the closer they got to the top.
"Where's Hackett?" whispered Joker to Elissa when he noticed the admiral was no where to be seen.
"Your guess is as good as mine," replied Elissa in a whisper, she was looking around for him but there was no sign that he was waiting around or had been there at all. When they arrived at the top, she half expected to see him standing there waiting to greet them but there was no one there to meet them.
"I have a bad feeling about this, Elissa," said Joker uneasily as they stood at the podium, waiting for the Councilors and the other admirals and generals to arrive, Edward and the pilot were stationed behind them. Strangely, there were several other C-Sec officers stationed around the platform behind the podium where they were standing.
"I agree," said Elissa, she heard a door opening then looked to her left only to wish she had not, Major Kaidan Alenko had just entered the chamber with General Windsor.
"Shit," she heard Joker say, and she knew he had seen him too.
"Something's up," said Elissa, watching as the rest filed into the room, no one even looking over at Elissa and Joker.
"What should we do?" asked Joker, he had sensed something was wrong as soon as he saw Kaidan enter the room.
"Stand here and face the music," sighed Elissa, she knew they were done for even before the trial resumed.
"We call to order this trial," said the Turian Councilor, "would the accused please step up to the podium."
Elissa sighed and moved up a step, Joker did the same, both feeling uneasy about all of the eyes that were on them as they stood there completely exposed.
"After reviewing both of your psychological evaluations and the evidence for the charges brought against you," said the Salarian Councilor, "the generals and the Council have reached a verdict. We find the accused Commander Elissa J. Shepard and Flight Lieutenant Jeffery P. Moreau guilty of all charges." There was a huge outcry from some of the generals, protesting the verdict, wanting to challenge the final decision of the Council.
"I was not aware of this!" shouted General Rowland, obviously angry.
"I did not agree to this verdict!" proclaimed Flight Admiral Washburn his face red with rage, "I demand to know why they have been found guilty!"
Elissa lowered her head trying to control her own rage, even though she had expected the verdict, it was still a cold blow.
The Turian Councilor raised his hand to silence the room, "You are hereby sentenced to spending the next ten years in the Citadel Security Intergalactic Prison, you are henceforth stripped of your ranks of Spectre, Commander, and Flight Lieutenant. The war frigate _Normandy_ has been granted by the Alliance Brass to be put under the command of Spectre and Alliance Major Kaidan Alenko as has her crew to assist him in fulfilling his duties as both a soldier and as a Spectre."
Elissa stood straight up, looked around the room her eyes lingering on Kaidan who had moved closer to the door, she had a feeling that as soon as she and Joker were taken into custody he was going to storm the _Normandy_.
"You will now be taken into custody and taken to the Intergalactic Prison," said the Turian Councilor, resulting in more outcries by the generals. The C-Sec officers that had been standing on the platform swarmed around them, guns pointed at them though it was unnecessary, and several of them grabbed Elissa and Joker by the arms and shoulders to restrain them.
The officers that grabbed Joker purposefully applied enough pressure to cause him to yell out, "Watch the arms!"
Elissa looked over as she was being dragged away and saw what they were doing, enraged that they were deliberately trying to hurt him, "Ease up on the pressure, you bastards, you could kill him!"
One of the soldiers just smiled at Elissa as he started to bend Joker's arm the wrong way, bringing him to his knees from the pain and Elissa began to fight against the men who were trying to drag her away, "Either treat him right or I'll kick your ass!"
The guards just laughed as they pressed harder on his arms and shoulders, and she saw the pain it was causing him, when she saw a point of leverage she took it and broke free of their grasp, running to Joker's aid. When she was less than three feet from the nearest guard she gave him a roundhouse kick straight to the jaw, knocking the one officer right on his back, then she moved to the other guard and kneed him in the chest, using the momentum to throw him backwards against the railing. The guards that had originally held Elissa were now returning to seize her once again but she stood there, her arms held up, ready to defend herself. Joker was still laying on the floor wracked with pain from his now broken arm though he had been quick to set it the best he could despite the immense pain.
"Come one step closer, and your ass is mine," snarled Elissa, and she carefully turned to Joker, making sure that none of the guards were going to jump her the moment her back was turned. Lowering herself, she helped Joker up to the standing position being careful not to move his arm as the stood, her arms wrapped protectively around his shoulders. She then looked at the remaining guards, "You are going to escort us, if you touch either of us, it will not end well for any of you."
The guards nodded, and formed a small circle around Joker and Elissa, then they started to walk out of the Council Chamber Elissa making sure that they went at a pace Joker could handle to not jar his arm further. They made it outside of the Tower and with the circle of guards surrounding them, the press was unable to reach them though that did not stop them from shouting out questions and requests for an exclusive. When they arrived at the shuttle, Elissa helped Joker in then jumped in herself with the guards following her inside, she sat down next to her pilot feeling horrible for putting him in this situation.
"Jeff, please forgive me," said Elissa quietly as the shuttle took off, "I didn't mean for this to happen, I wish I could change this."
Joker looked at her, his eyes showing no signs of anger or rage, "Elissa, I wish I could do the same, neither one of us deserves this but I'm glad I get to go through it with you."
"That's the only blessing in this whole situation," said Elissa as she leaned her head on his shoulder and he carefully wrapped his good arm around her shoulders. They sat there in silence, listening to the humming of the shuttle as they flew along closer and closer to the prison where an uncertain future awaited them.
14. When You're Gone
Three weeks. It had been three weeks since she left the _Normandy_, since she had been found guilty of false charges, since she had been locked away in the Citadel's prison with only her hour of exercise to look forward to each day. In those three weeks she had been interviewed by Emily Wong a couple of times, spoken to by several members of the Alliance brass that had made the journey to the Citadel to voice their outrage at her incarceration, and she had been visited a few times by Kasumi which was whom she was expecting to see right now.
Elissa was laying down on her bed, looking up at the smooth ceiling thinking about all that had happened in the three weeks since her arrest, mostly about how relieved she was that Joker had been able to see a doctor about his arm immediately. She had insisted on staying with him the entire time he was there in the clinic, saying that she wanted to make sure that no further harm came to him by the guards. Shortly after his arm had been put in a cast, they were whisked away to their respective cells, and she had only seen him two or three more times since then when their exercise hours had aligned. The last time she saw him he was still in the cast though he said his arm was getting stronger, and he told her he was being allowed to have physical therapy, C-Sec officers apparently did not want him to have anymore broken bones on their hands so they let him get any health treatment he wanted. There had also been no word on where Hackett was, she had asked Kasumi every time she visited if they had heard anything about him, so far there was nothing not even Liara knew where he was.
"Shep," whispered Kasumi, and Elissa sat straight up, " is the coast clear?"
"Yeah," said Elissa quietly, "the cameras have been greased as well."
"Thank God," said Kasumi as she uncloaked herself, and made her way to the bed, "Are you sure you wouldn't just have me stay invisible? It might make things easier for you."
"Or just make me look crazy," said Elissa, "The Council already thinks I am, why give them actual proof?"
"Good point," said Kasumi as she sat down on the bed, "Anything from the brass?"
"Not since your last visit," sighed Elissa, "They all spoke to me about how much of an outrage my dismissal from service was and how the Council and the other generals had no right to remove me without speaking to them first, now not a damn peep."
"The Council's been intercepting their messages to you," said Kasumi bitterly, "Liara's been monitoring what comes to you, mostly data pads with messages from supporters, we all figure that the Council is trying to break your spirits. I'll try to smuggle some in for you next time, give you something to read."
"Thanks, Kasumi," said Elissa, smiling for the first time in days, "So how's the _Normandy_ holding up? She still running?"
"Yep," said Kasumi happily, "Major Alenko's biotics aren't able to penetrate the kinetic shields. He tries nearly every day to pry the doors open, it's rather amusing to watch his face when he doesn't get the result he wants. We still have that bet going for how long his attempts are going to continue, so far the pool is up to five hundred credits, want to contribute?"
"I told you, Kasumi, if he keeps trying after a month then I'll give two hundred credits to the pool," said Elissa, brightly, "Any news about the crew? How are they all holding up?"
"Pretty well all things considered," said Kasumi, "They've all recovered from the shock of being locked in the _Normandy_, having EDI explain the situation was a good idea by the way, Shep. What else? Oh yeah, Garrus and Tali are starting to flirt again, I guess being locked in close quarters really brings people together. Speaking of which, how's the future Mr. Shepard?"
Elissa gave Kasumi an exasperated look, "How many times have I asked you to stop calling him that?"
"About as many times as times as you've asked me to stop calling you the future Mrs. Moreau," replied Kasumi calmly, "So how is Joker doing?"
Shepard lowered her eyes, "I don't really know, it's been days since I've seen him. Our exercise schedules don't match up, those three times they did were probably flukes, I wish I knew how he's doing."
"I'll find that out for you, Shep," said Kasumi, patting her friend on the shoulder, "When do you think you'll be released?"
Elissa sighed, "Nine years, three hundred forty-four days, not that I've been counting."
"Of course not," said Kasumi sarcastically, "By the way, our suppliers have been contributing less, they say it's bad for their business if they just give us stuff for free."
"Shit," mumbled Elissa, "Take some credits out of my private account and pay them each a flat fee of one hundred credits, that should take care of delivery and the merchandise, I've got discounts at each of those stores."
"I'll task that to Liara," said Kasumi, stretching her legs, "Is there anything you need, are they treating you right?"
"I've got a decent room, three meals a day, and guards who could give a fuck less that I'm innocent," said Elissa harshly, "there is not one human guard here who is sympathetic to me or to Joker, as far as they're concerned, we're traitors and aren't worth the credits spent keeping us locked away in comfort."
"I'll see what I can do about the guards," said Kasumi, getting angry that Elissa was being treated badly by the guards, "and I'll try to get Liara to change your schedule so you and Joker can at least talk to each other."
Elissa leaned over and hugged Kasumi tightly, "I really appreciate all that you and the crew are doing, keeping the _Normandy_ out of the hands of the Council and bringing me these reports."
"Shep, I just wish I could do more," said Kasumi as they released each other, "it really sucks seeing you here, you should be out in the galaxy, not stuck in a prison cell."
"Don't I know it," laughed Elissa softly, "it's about time for the guards to do their sweep, you should get going."
"Alright, Shep," sighed Kasumi, standing, "I'll be back same time tomorrow." Then she activated her cloaking device and was gone from sight in an instant.
Elissa sat back on her bed and sighed, even with Kasumi's visits to look forward to, this place was still hell. She was sure her friends were trying to break her out or find someway to change the ruling, she only wished they would work faster to get her and Joker out, but she knew they had their own problems to deal with. There was probably only one person in the whole galaxy that could make her feel like everything was going to be alright and he was currently in another cell unable to talk to her.
* * *
"How's she doing?" asked Joker the second Kasumi was uncloaked, he had been pacing waiting for Kasumi's arrival, getting more and more anxious the longer it seemed to take her to get there.
"She's holding in there," replied Kasumi, sitting on his bed, "I can tell she's starting to go stir crazy, she really hates being out of the loop."
"I know the feeling," sighed Joker, sitting down at the desk chair, "Is Major Asshole still trying to get onto my ship?"
"Indeed," said Kasumi, "He's there almost everyday trying to tear the doors off, we're lucky the shields are holding up, otherwise we'd all be in deep shit."
"That shouldn't happen so long as the maintenance is kept up," said Joker, relieved that he had made sure to upgrade the shields beforehand, "Have there been any problems with the _Normandy_, aside from the crazy biotic trying to tear into her hull?"
"Nothing so far," said Kasumi, "we've all been looking for the signs of distress you mentioned, it's been pretty quiet all things considered, Garrus has actually run out of things to calibrate."
Joker laughed, he could imagine how depressed Garrus was now that he had finally made everything perfectly calibrated, "Never thought that day would come."
"Neither did he, apparently," said Kasumi, grinning.
"Maybe you should go and mess them up so he has something to do with his spare time," suggested Joker, still chuckling.
"He has Tali to fill that void," said Kasumi and then she blushed when she realized how that had come out and Joker roared with laughter again.
"So Garrus and Tali, huh?" asked Joker once his laughter subsided, "I always thought they were good together."
"Yeah, they like to argue," said Kasumi, "mostly about Tali's term for a straw, not sure why, I guess it's just one of those weird couple things."
"You could say that," chuckled Joker, "I wouldn't know, straws didn't really come up between me and EDI, maybe it's a Turian-Quarian thing."
"Well, I'd rather hear them argue than hear Tali sing," remarked Kasumi, Joker gave her a confused look, "She watched this musical about a Turian and Quarian that fall in love when she was a kid, and ever since she and Garrus have been spending time together, she's been singing the songs from the movie. It's not like she's bad at singing or anything like that, she's just doing it relentlessly, and as loudly as she possibly can."
"Man, I wish I could hear that," said Joker, grinning, "sounds about as funny as when she was doing imitations of the _Normandy_'s vents."
"That now has amassed quite the following," said Kasumi, wickedly smiling, "There are videos of other people imitating her, along with a fan club, it was a stroke of brilliance when I posted that vid."
"I'll say," smirked Joker, absentmindedly playing with his dog tags.
"I thought those were taken away from you when you arrived here," said Kasumi as she watched him twist the silver chain.
"Our discharge papers still haven't gone through," replied Joker, "guess wherever Hackett is, he's managing to prevent that from happening."
"Liara still hasn't found anything on him," said Kasumi, mentally kicking herself for not telling Elissa, "It's like he completely disappeared after your psych evaluation."
"He'll be back," said Joker, firmly believing that their old friend would indeed return.
"On a happier note, I'm going to try and see if we can fix your schedules so you and Shep can see each other," said Kasumi, quietly standing up from the bed.
"Thanks, Kasumi," said Joker, also standing, "I hope you can."
"I know," said Kasumi, hugging him, "I'll see you tomorrow, keep yourself out of trouble until then."
"Will do," said Joker, laughing softly and he watched as she cloaked herself again, disappearing entirely.
He sat back down and stared out of the widow, smiling to himself as he thought about the prospect of seeing Elissa again, he missed her more now than when she had died. It had been hard to watch the woman he loved die, but at least there had been some finality to it, allowing him to grieve his loss. Now, with her just a few hundred feet away, it was even more painful since he knew where she was but was unable to touch her or speak to her and all he could do was wait which to him was the worst way to spend his time.
* * *
Elissa was surprised when she heard her door open and guard stepped through, the last time this had happened, Emily Wong had been there to interview her but it looked like there was a different silhouette behind the guard.
"You have a visitor," said the guard and he stepped out of the doorway, only to have his place filled by Major Kaidan Alenko.
Elissa jumped up from her bed, ready for a confrontation, a fight, anything at this point, "What are you doing here, Major?"
"I need to speak with you," replied Kaidan calmly, "May I sit down?"
Elissa nodded and he sat down on the desk chair, and she resumed her spot on her bed, neither of them looking away from the other. There were a few moments of tense silence before Kaidan spoke.
"How have you been doing, Ella?" asked Kaidan and Elissa clenched the blanket on her bed when he spoke his name for her.
"Just peachy, Major," said Elissa coldly, "which is probably pretty good for someone that's been stabbed in the back."
Kaidan let out an audible sigh and lowered his head, "Ella, I'm so sorry about what I did, it was stupid and foolish if I could I'd go back and change—"
"Who are you trying to fool, Kaidan?" interrupted Elissa, "You wanted to be the one in charge of the _Normandy, _as the only human Spectre and you saw me as an obstacle, so you did everything you could to remove me without getting yourself too caught up in the mess in the process."
Kaidan did not say a word and she knew she was right about his intentions.
"Ella, please, there's more I want to tell you," said Kaidan, his tone imploring her to listen, "it's kind of a confession."
"I'm not a priest," said Elissa, crossing her arms.
"True, but you deserve to hear this anyway," said Kaidan resting his hands on his thighs, "I'm really not sure how I want to start this."
"Kaidan, just tell me," sighed Elissa, getting more and more annoyed at him the longer he sat there looking at her.
"Alright then," said Kaidan taking a deep breath before he started, "Do you remember when I told you that I went out with a doctor for drinks after you died?"
Elissa nodded, already not liking where this conversation was headed.
"Well," said Kaidan, rubbing his neck nervously, "I wasn't being entirely honest about her identity, she was a doctor but it was Rahna, the girl from Jump Zero."
Elissa stared at him in shock, this was indeed news to her, since she had been told that Rahna hated him after what happened at BAaT when he killed their instructor.
"She told me that she had finally forgiven me for what had happened at Jump Zero," said Kaidan, "She said that looking back, although it was the wrong way to do it, she could understand why I reacted like I did. We started to see each other more after that night, eventually she moved in with me, I thought my life was finally going somewhere."
Elissa wanted to hit him as hard as she could, what she was hearing was unbelievable.
"We were going to get married, she found out that she was pregnant so we wanted to be a proper family for our child," said Kaidan, his voice getting thick with emotion, "we had a name picked out and everything, then one day, Rahna came back from a doctor's appointment and told me that the baby died in the womb. I felt like my world had been turned upside down, I was there for her when she had to deliver the dead baby, he was seven months gestation when she had him and then we buried him. After that, we kind of started to fall apart, she was thoroughly depressed as was I and neither of us knew how to help the other so when I got the offer to go to Horizon I jumped on it. I just wanted to get away from the grief and the pain, feel useful again, distract myself and Rahna understood so we ended our relationship."
"Then you ran into me on Horizon," spat Elissa bitterly.
"Yeah," said Kaidan quietly, "I did, and I felt that the universe was giving me a second chance, but I was just so upset that you were with Cerberus that I nearly screwed that up."
"Why are you telling me any of this, Kaidan?" asked Elissa trying not to jump across the room and kick his ass.
"I thought you deserved to know the whole truth," confessed Kaidan, "that I ran to you to feel like I used to before the baby died and Rahna fell apart, I'm sorry I used you like that, Ella."
"Have you spoken to Rahna since the war ended?" asked Elissa, not satisfied that he was telling her everything.
"Yeah," said Kaidan quietly, "she told me that she had gotten help and was able to work through the baby's death, then she said that even though we had ended, she wanted to give our relationship another try."
"She told you this while you were with me?" asked Elissa, defensively, "Did she know that you were already seeing someone?"
"Yeah she did," said Kaidan, "I think she sent out that message just to let me know what was going on with her and that she still loved me, and I had to admit to myself that I still loved her as well. When I looked at my relationship with you, I felt like there was something missing, something that I had with Rahna so I started looking for ways to end our relationship."
"Kaidan, you proposed!" shouted Elissa, now on her feet, "If you hadn't wanted to be with me, why did you ask me to spend the rest of my life with you?!"
"I don't know!" shouted Kaidan, now standing himself, "I guess I liked the idea of being with you, liked the status and notoriety that came with you. I knew I could never get the same respect as you on my own, so I thought that making you my wife would automatically give me what I deserve!"
"So I was just some kind of status symbol to you?!" exclaimed Elissa, "I was nothing more than a stepping stone for you, some kind of trophy, is that what you're telling me? So Rahna is your true love but you denied yourself that happiness so you could get the respect and admiration you thought you deserved by being with me? Can you possibly get any dumber, Kaidan, is that possible?"
"I also came to ask you to command EDI to unlock the _Normandy_ for me," said Kaidan firmly, trying to sound like the leader he was not.
"And it is possible," said Elissa, "No Kaidan, I'm not going to do anything for you, you're just going to have to figure out how to get into your own damn ship yourself. How can you earn any respect if you run back to your former commander asking for help? That certainly wouldn't look good for your reputation, now would it?"
Kaidan glared at her, she did not care, the faster he got out of there the better she would feel.
"Answer me one thing though," said Elissa, "Why were you jealous of Joker when you were just using me in the first place? Were you worried that you were going to lose your status symbol to someone else who might have actually cared about me?"
"Partly," sighed Kaidan, "I really did care about you, Ella, and I didn't want anyone else to have you even though I was using you for my own gains. It's really complicated and stupid and I'm sorry that I hurt you."
"No you're not, but you will be," said Elissa, "Is that all or are you going to tell me something else that will make me question the intentions of men all over the galaxy?"
"No, I'm done," said Kaidan moving to the door, "I hope this works out for you, Shepard, I really do."
"Stop lying, Major, it's very unbecoming," said Elissa, smirking at him as the guard opened the door for him and then he was gone. She threw herself back on her bed and cried, she felt so incredibly stupid for having given him her heart, for thinking that he actually loved her, not seeing his actual intentions. All she wanted right now was someone to comfort her, tell her that she was worth something more than just some kind of icon to be worshipped, that she could be loved as a person and not as a persona. Right then, sitting in her small cell, she wondered if she really was a person and had not morphed entirely into the untouchable Commander Shepard, that underneath it all she was still a woman with the same desires as any other woman to be loved and protected by someone.
15. I Won't Give Up
Joker looked around the yard, he was patiently waiting for Elissa to make her appearance though he was still having doubts about whether or not Liara had been able to change their exercise hours to lining up. When Kasumi had told him three days ago that Liara had hacked the prison's time schedule and changed the times of three of their exercise hours that week, he had wanted to believe that he would see Elissa but decided that he would not fully trust what Liara had done until he saw Elissa. He heard the door behind him open and his heart beat faster, the footsteps that were moving towards him sounded familiar though he did not want to look around and be disappointed if it turned out to just be his imagination playing tricks on him. Then he felt two arms wrap around his shoulders and neck from behind, gently embracing him and he felt a wave of relief wash over him, he knew she was there and that Liara had come through.
He placed his hands on her arms and looked up at her, "I missed you, Ellie."
Elissa looked down at him and smiled through the tears, "I missed you, too, Jeff." She leaned down and pressed her forehead against his, despite the odd angle, it felt so reassuring to finally be able to touch him after being separated for nearly a month.
"Why don't you sit next to me?" asked Joker, patting the spot next to him on the bench he had been sitting on while waiting for her, and she pulled herself away from him then sat down where he had indicated.
"How've you been? Are the guards treating you right? What about your physical—" started Elissa only to be cut off by a soft kiss from Joker, the kiss took her by surprise but she felt herself kissing him back and enjoying to pure bliss.
Joker reluctantly broke the seal a few seconds later, "Sorry, but that's the best way I've found to calm you down you were talking a mile a minute, Ellie, it had to be done."
"I know," sighed Elissa, resting her head on Joker's shoulder, "Okay, first question, are the guards treating you right?"
"For the most part," said Joker, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, "Oakley's part of my guard, God I hate that son of a bitch."
Elissa chuckled quietly, "Steve could definitely do a lot better."
"What about you?" asked Joker, pulling her closer, "Anything happen that Kasumi hasn't told me about? Guards trying to beat the crap out of you, anything?"
"Kaidan stopped by," said Elissa bitterly, and she felt Joker tense up, "he told me some things I think I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing."
"You going to tell me?" asked Joker, looking at her.
"He only wanted to be with me to gain status," said Elissa, "that's all I was to him, a symbol of power and prestige, he didn't even really love me, he loved Rahna."
"Who's that?" asked Joker, never having heard the story of Kaidan and Rahna.
"A girl Kaidan was in love with when he was at some biotics training program as a teenager," said Elissa, giving Joker the short version, "Anyway, apparently the doctor he told me he went out with when I died turned out to be her and they were going to get married since she was pregnant. The baby died and then they broke up, he ran away to Horizon and we all know where it went from there."
"He told you all that?" asked Joker, angry that Kaidan had decided to kick her while she was down, "What was the point?"
"He wanted me to know," said Elissa, sitting up, "I think I could have gone an Asari lifetime without knowing any of that."
"Damn, Elissa," said Joker, not really knowing what to say to her, "I'm so sorry."
"I'll be fine," said Elissa, firmly, "Just makes me think whether or not I'll actually find someone who'll love me for me and not what I've done or what my rank is."
Joker was pissed, he could not believe what he was hearing, after all that had happened she still thought of him as nothing more than a friend, "For Christ's sake, Elissa, what about us?!"
"What do you mean 'us'?" asked Elissa, surprised and startled.
"What did it mean to you when we kissed, that I was just some kind of comfort, that I wasn't really worth anything to you?!" exclaimed Joker, standing up, his body shaking with rage.
"Jeff, please—" started Elissa, tears brimming in her eyes, she could see the pain in his face and it crushed her that she had been so stupid and hurt him.
"No, Shepard!" shouted Joker, "Believe it or not, you're worth the whole fucking galaxy to me! You don't think that's true, here look at this!" He yanked his dog tags off and threw them at her, then he stormed off, not even caring that they still had forty-five minutes left to talk he just wanted to be away from her.
* * *
Elissa watched him go, she wanted to chase after him but she seemed to be glued to the bench, the dog tags still clutched in her hands and she looked down at them only after he had gone back into the prison. She carefully moved them from hand to hand, not really reading anything she saw on the pieces of metal until her name caught her eye, looking more closely she realized that this was one of her old dog tags there were small chips all around the edges but the information was still intact:
Shepard
Elissa J.
04-11-2154
A Neg
Nondenominational
She stifled a sob, she had had no idea that Joker was carrying this around with him, she felt horrible that she had said what she did to him, since having this proved he really did care about her. Elissa wanted to ask Joker why he had her tag and how he got it in the first place, but first there was something she had to do first, she had to find someway to apologize to him and explain why she was acting the way she was. Quickly she pulled off her own dog tags and removed one of Joker's from his chain putting it with her own set, _'There, that's much better,'_ thought Elissa as she put her dog tags back on, hiding them under her shirt. Then she jumped up and ran inside the prison, hoping to make it to see Joker before the guards came back to put her in her cell again, luckily his cell was not too far from the door that led to the outside yard and she managed to get there with very little difficulty.
Looking in through the small window on the door, she saw Joker laying on his bed, cap over his eyes and she quietly opened the door being very careful to not disturb him and she crept over to his bed, sitting down on the end. Elissa was not sure how he would react when he saw her, she expected more angry outbursts and she knew she deserved every single one of them since she had deeply hurt him with what she said. She looked at the clock, they had a little more than half an hour before she would be forced back to her own cell, she knew she had to make the best of these few minutes and waiting for him to wake up was not something she planned to do right now.
"Jeff, Jeff," said Elissa, gently shaking his leg, "wake up, Jeff, I need to talk to you."
Joker looked out from under the bill of his cap, he could see her sitting there but he really did not want to talk at the moment, so he just laid there pretending to be asleep.
"I know you're not really sleeping, Jeff," said Elissa, slightly annoyed, "Should I kiss you to wake you up?"
"Not necessary, Commander," said Joker, putting his cap back on his head, then sitting up careful not to hit her with his legs as he switched positions.
"Jeff," said Elissa, putting her hand on his shoulder, half expecting him to shrug her off, she was grateful though when he let her hand stay there, "I wanted to ask you, how did you get my dog tag?"
"Liara gave it to me," said Joker quietly, "After you died, I begged her to find me anything that was yours, I thought if I had something of yours I would be able to get over my grief. It wasn't until months later when you were being rebuilt by Cerberus that she even found your tags, then she gave one to me and I've worn it with mine ever since."
"I guess you also answered my question of why you had one in the first place," said Elissa, handing him his tags back.
"That was only part the reason," admitted Joker, putting his tags back on, "I also wanted to have something to remember you by, I know, they say someone always lives on in your memories but I wanted something a little more tangible. I was so jealous of Kaidan I mean he at least had a picture of you, and I wanted something to remember you too, anything at all, I would have even settled for a piece of your scorched armor." His voice became thick with emotion, he tried not to think about the years after Elissa had died, they were way too painful to relive.
Elissa wrapped her arms around him, she had been aware that her death had hit everyone pretty hard but seeing what lengths Joker had gone to just to keep her memory alive was just astounding since she had doubted for a very long time that he cared for her as much as he really did.
"Jeff, I had no idea," said Elissa, still holding him close, "Why didn't you tell me about all of this, about the tags, about any of it?"
"I didn't think it would matter since you're now alive," said Joker his arm now snaking around her waist, "Ellie, the day you woke up was the day I decided everything would go back to normal. I tried my best to not bring up the past, I wanted you to move on and live life, not keep dwelling on what had happened. I thought that was my penance for killing you in the first place, to make you feel as if nothing had changed."
"Jeff, you didn't kill me," said Elissa seriously, pulling his face up so she could look at him, "I was doing my job and you were doing yours, you saved our crew by staying where you were, giving them enough time to get into the escape pods. I don't ever want to hear you blame yourself for my death again, if I do, there will be severe repercussions."
"And what would those be, Commander?" asked Joker, smirking at her.
"Lets just say it involves whipped cream, cherries, and your chair," said Elissa, her eyes gleaming wickedly as she watched Joker turn red and she could tell that all thought had disappeared clean from his head. She giggled as he laid back down, covering his face and groaning behind his hands and she laid down next to him, wrapping her arm around his torso.
"Ellie, I know that we'll have to have a serious talk, but can that wait until tomorrow?" asked Joker as he wrapped his arms around her, "I kind of just want this moment to last as long as it can, then if you reject me, I'll have this to look back on so I win in either circumstance."
Elissa rolled her eyes playfully, "Sure, Jeff, I just hope the guards don't mind seeing us in this position they might not let us see each other."
"Then I would have to bust out of here," said Joker holding her tighter, "because I don't want to be separated from you again as long as I can help it."
Elissa smiled as she felt the desire to sleep overcome her, though she knew that they would have to talk about what their feelings were and how they wanted to proceed which could go badly, she slept soundly for the first time since her arrival to the prison happy that she was in the comfort of someone she trusted with her very life.
* * *
Elissa waited next to the door that led to the exercise yard, she was both excited and a little apprehensive about seeing Joker, it had been two days since they had last seen each other and they had not had a chance to talk since then though they had used Kasumi once to send a message to the other. She saw Joker coming out of his cell and felt her heart leap in her chest, even with just the short month of physical therapy his posture had improved and even his limp was better.
"Hey, Ellie," said Joker as the guard unlocked the door and allowed them into the yard, he took her by the hand and led her out of the prison and into the freshly recycled air.
"I hate this being a part bull," sighed Elissa as they sat down on the bench, still holding hands.
"I know how you feel, you'd think we were planning an escape," said Joker smirking.
"Maybe we should, at least we'd have something to do," said Elissa, looking up at the shuttles that drove by overhead.
They sat on the bench in peace, watching the shuttles fly over, Joker pointing out the mistakes the various drivers were making eliciting the occasional laugh from Elissa and she would ask him how to avoid making those mistakes in the future. Both seemed nervous to start the inevitable conversation, they knew it was going to have to happen sooner or later, so Joker cleared his throat prepared to take the leap, "So, Ellie, have you given any thought to maybe being more than just friends?"
Elissa looked at him, his eyes green in the light, "I've actually been thinking about it longer than just two days, Jeff, I've been thinking about it for nearly three years."
Joker's eyes widened, he was surprised to hear that she had thought of being with him since they had started working together on the _Normandy_, he was also upset that she had not acted on her feelings, "Why'd you wait so freaking long, Ellie?"
"Well, you stated several times that dating crew members wasn't your thing," said Elissa in a slightly defensive tone, "and I didn't want to put you in an uncomfortable position."
"Elissa," said Joker, cupping her cheek, trying not to focus too much on how soft and warm her skin was, "There were two reasons why I said what I did, one, because of you and Kaidan, two because I didn't want you to think I was like all of the other guys on our crew who were all lusting after you."
"Jeff, I never could see you that way," said Elissa, gently pressing her forehead against his, "I have a great deal more respect for you than I have for most people and it would take a great deal of crap to happen for my perception of you to be tarnished."
"So, about what's been going on," said Joker, suddenly getting very nervous, moving his head away from hers, "What are we exactly? I mean, I know you've been a serious relationship, albeit with a jackass, but are you looking for another one or are you looking for something else? Have you thought everything through, do you need more time or—"
Elissa softly kissed him, silencing him like he had done to her, then she released her claim on his lips, "Sorry, Jeff, but you were talking a mile a minute, I had to do something. To answer your questions, yes, I have thought about this quite a bit actually. I care about you a great deal, not only are you my pilot but you are my best friend and I want you to know that the last thing I want to do is hurt you . . . " She saw him close his eyes, she worried that he had taken that the wrong way so she quickly continued, "I want to see how this turns out, having you in my life has been the best thing to ever happen, and I don't want this to be something casual or something we're doing just to not be alone."
Joker relaxed, not wanting to believe his own luck, that she actually wanted to have him around and not as something temporary in her life, "Elissa, the last thing I want in this lifetime is to lose you for a second time, through death or to another man. I'm yours, Elissa, as long as you want me and even when you don't."
Elissa smiled, in this moment right now she thought of nothing but being with him, she did not think of the prison cells or the fact they only had an hour every few days to talk with each other none of that mattered to her only he did.
"How do you suggest we make this official?" asked Joker, playing with a few loose strands of her hair, he was not being serious but thought it was appropriate to say.
"I kind of already have," said Elissa, pulling her dog tags from underneath her shirt, showing him that she had taken one of his and put it with hers.
"Wow, Ellie," said Joker, looking at her addition to her chain, "You know I wasn't being serious at all about finding a way to make us official?"
"I know, I just couldn't resist," said Elissa brightly, as she put her dog tags back into her shirt, looking at him, getting lost in his gorgeous eyes.
_'God, if this is a dream, don't let me wake up,'_ thought Joker, leaning in closer to Elissa, the space between their lips getting smaller until he claimed her lips in a tender embrace. He felt himself filled with the blissful euphoria, forgetting everything else except how Elissa's lips felt against his, the taste of her mouth as his tongue slid in, the way their tongues danced together.
"Shepard! Moreau!" shouted a familiar voice, causing them to jump apart, Joker looked around wildly and saw Armando Bailey standing on the other side of the yard, a serious look on his face.
"What do you think he wants?" asked Joker as they stood and started walking towards Bailey, her hand gripped in his.
"There's only one way to find out," said Elissa and they met him at the door and he indicated to them to follow him to the side of the yard, away from the door.
"Is there something you need, Bailey?" asked Elissa in hushed tone.
"No, Shepard," said Bailey, throwing Edward a look that told him to stay back, "I've received a message from Admiral Hackett, neither of you is safe here, we're busting you out."
16. Jailbreak
**A/N: Wow! This is the longest chapter I have written to date, hope you all like it, I wrote it especially for you. Thanks for all of the support, you guys are amazing!**
* * *
"What's going on, Bailey?" asked Joker in a quiet voice, watching as Edward went back into the prison, "What did Hackett say?"
"There wasn't too much," said Bailey, facing away from the cameras, gesturing to Elissa and Joker to do the same, "His message was cryptic but I gathered enough to determine that you two were in danger, something about Cerberus being part of it, either way be wants you both out of here."
"Has there been mention of a plan?" asked Elissa, crossing her arms, "I'm sure Hackett wouldn't say something like that without having some sort of way to execute it."
"He said to 'wait for the thief to speak,' some jargon I'm assuming only you two would know," said Bailey giving a dismissive wave, "I'm going to help you both the best I can but there are no guarantees, no plan is flawless, not even one of Hackett's. You are just going to have to trust me on this one, which is probably hard for you to do right now, but I'm also not crazy about trusting Hackett when he's left me to fumble in the dark."
"We'll give you whatever cooperation you require," said Elissa, sounding once again like her old self, "Are we safe right now, or is something going to have to change to ensure that?"
"I'm going to be replacing the current Captain of Security in this branch of C-Sec so I can watch over you," said Bailey, "I'm sure you've noticed that the Turians and some of the humans aren't too happy about having to guard you."
"No, the death glares and beatings are their way of being nice," said Joker, crossing his arms and smirking, Bailey was not smiling, "I think you being in charge will be a little better."
"Joker, we need his help," said Elissa through gritted teeth, "Mouthing off about C-Sec guards won't get us anywhere, so just stow it."
Ordinarily, he might have said something smart back but he knew that this was their one chance of getting out of here and back to the _Normandy_, so he obeyed her order and said nothing in response.
"I'll be back in tonight," said Bailey, "hopefully by then we can get this plan panned out and you two back where you belong."
"Thank you, Bailey, you have no idea what this means for us," said Elissa, shaking his hand, and Bailey gave her a rare smile.
"I don't like seeing innocent people behind bars," said Bailey, "and you two have always been good to my men and assisted me many times, it is an honor to be able to help you out in anyway I can."
"We'll keep you up to date when we learn any information," said Joker extending his hand to Bailey and he was surprised when the captain shook it.
"Good," said Bailey, "Now you two need to keep a low profile, don't do anything to bring any further attention to yourselves, and don't talk about this with anyone except me and your contact."
"Understood, Bailey," said Elissa, and Joker nodded.
"Now, I need to go speak with some of your guards," said Bailey, cracking his knuckles menacingly, "I'll let you get back to your last fifteen minutes of yard time."
They watched the captain leave the yard, both too stunned at their own good luck to really believe that had just happened.
"Ellie," said Joker, taking her hand in his, "Do you think this plan has a shot at working?"
Elissa thought about all she had been through with Bailey and Hackett, neither one had yet disappointed her in a promise, hell Bailey had even assisted in getting Kolyat Krios away from the life of crime he was embarking on, "I think this plan will work, I don't believe that Hackett is flying blind in this, especially if he wants us to talk with Kasumi. We just have to wait, and pray that this doesn't blow up in our faces."
"I'm not one for praying," said Joker, thinking about how many times he had felt abandoned by the god his parents had tried to raise him to believe in.
"I wasn't really either until after I lost Ash," said Elissa quietly, looking up into the sky, "I didn't want to believe that she was going into some dark place, so I prayed for her, and it filled me with an inner peace. After I met Thane, and found out how spiritual he was, I spoke with him often about what might be waiting on the other side and if Ash really was in a better place. Now, I pray every night for those I've lost, not wanting any of them to be in that dark place and to be across the sea with their families."
Joker was stunned, Elissa's love for her friends ran deeper than he had thought, he had always known that she mourned their deaths but hearing that she prayed for them to have a beautiful afterlife made him realize how unique of a person she really was.
"Ellie, you are a truly spectacular woman," said Joker as they headed back inside the prison, walking hand in hand, excited and nervous about the prospect of leaving this hell forever.
* * *
Elissa released her breath as she saw the last guard leave for the night, she knew that there were still guards less than thirty feet away in the glass booth outside of their section but there was some relief to know they were not standing just beyond her door. She had been expecting Kasumi's arrival ever since she and Joker had gotten back from their exercise hour and so far there was nothing. There was not even a shimmer from the corner to let Elissa know that she was there it was strange for her to take so many precautions when she had done far more dangerous missions than breaking into a prison.
"Shep," said Kasumi in a gentle whisper, "Are they gone?"
"Yes," said Elissa in equal quiet, and she watched as Kasumi revealed herself, though it had only been a few days Kasumi looked as if she had not gotten any sleep or eaten much of anything since her last visit.
"I'm sorry I haven't been by lately," said Kasumi, still whispering, "I didn't want to risk anything until Bailey was informed, I'm glad Hackett was right about being able to trust him, without a man on the inside we wouldn't be able to even start scheming."
"Who's in on this plan?" asked Elissa, her mind swirling around with different possibilities and scenarios before Kasumi even spoke.
"It's a rather complicated plan, Shep," said Kasumi, "we had to bring in quite a few people to even get the information necessary, Liara for one, and me, not to mention Hackett brought in Miranda—"
"Wait, Hackett is actually working with Cerberus' former second in command?" interrupted Elissa, surprised by this news.
"Of course," said Kasumi as if it was perfectly acceptable for an Alliance admiral and a Cerberus operative to work together, "Anyway, nearly everyone on the crew is involved, there are a few surprise visitors for you when you get back as well. I can't give you all of the details, and I've already told Bailey most of it, with instructions to inform you and Joker the day before we put our plan into action so just in case it goes wrong you and Joker won't get into any further trouble."
"This must be a helluva plan if you can't even tell me," sighed Elissa furrowing her brow, "If this doesn't go as planned, I want you to get Joker out of this place, if you have the choice to choose me or him I want you to pick him."
"Shep, that's not necessary—" started Kasumi, only to stop when she saw the seriousness in Elissa's face, and knew she had meant exactly what she was saying.
"I don't want him to be here anymore," said Elissa, thinking about how hard it would be for him if she were to abandon him to the mercy of the guards, "and if there's an out, I want him to take it, he's far more vital to the _Normandy_."
"Shep, are you even hearing yourself?" asked Kasumi, slightly outraged at what she was being told, "You and Joker are the heart and soul of the _Normandy_, without either of you she isn't truly the ship we all love and call home, come hell or high water we are going to get you both out of here and back where you belong."
Elissa chuckled warmly, she had no idea that Kasumi was such a motivational speaker, "You are extremely eloquent, Kasumi, ever consider a job in the Alliance military? We could always use some more motivational speakers."
"Nah, it would mean I have to give up being able to go invisible," said Kasumi and Elissa had to stifle a laugh.
"You'd still be a thief, huh?" asked Elissa after she had recovered.
"Are you kidding me, access to all of those high ranking officer's houses? I'd be like a kid in a candy store, I wouldn't be able to stop myself," said Kasumi, smiling.
"Oh, Kasumi, I'm so glad you're on my side," said Elissa, patting Kasumi on the back, trying not to dwell too much on the lacking details of the escape plan.
"Shep, I know these aren't the best circumstances," said Kasumi, her demeanor becoming sympathetic, "but you have to trust that we're doing everything we can to get you out of here and that we have a reason for not telling you everything."
"I know you do, Kasumi," said Elissa wearily, "I'm just glad to know that you guys are working so hard to get us out, I really appreciate everything you all have been doing."
"I know, Shep, we all do," said Kasumi, standing, "Now, I have to go before James realizes I'm missing, ever since you made him your replacement he runs a tight ship especially when it comes to me. He wants me back on the ship before midnight which is sometimes difficult to abide by since the best places to break into are only the best at midnight."
"He just wants you safe, Kasumi, you're a valuable friend and ally," said Elissa, standing and embracing her friend, grateful for all of the work she and the rest had been doing.
"So are you, Shep," said Kasumi, fighting back tears, "Remember, you still owe me a visit to my Nottingham, to check on my refugees."
"Of course, Robin Hood," said Elissa and she watched Kasumi disappear, hardly making a sound and somehow she knew she was gone.
Elissa laid down on her bed, trying to process all that had happened in these past few hours, not only did was there the prospect of escaping from this hellhole and getting back to the _Normandy_ but she also had a second chance at what should have been her first love. She had spent most of her time locked up thinking about Joker, wondering how it would be to be held in his arms, longing for the feel of his lips on hers and imagining how they would feel on the more intimate parts of her form, and how it would be to have him by her side. That last thought always felt the most right, that he was always meant to be by her side as her pilot, as her friend, as more than her friend. Elissa smiled to herself as her eyes became heavy, sleep enveloping her though she imagined that it was Joker's arms that were.
* * *
The lock on the door clicked. Elissa felt herself wake up though her eyes did not snap open, instead she peered out between her eyelashes at the door, _'No one is supposed to be here'_ and she saw the door open. There was a dark figure standing in the doorway, and by the outline of the armor she knew it was a guard though she could not see his hands which startled her the most, she rolled over and opened her eyes all of the way. She listened as the guard sighed heavily, obviously her turning over was not part of the plan, and heard his footsteps getting closer and closer to the bed and when she saw his shadow on her wall she jumped up off the bed.
This move obviously surprised the guard as he stumbled backwards slightly and that was all the room Elissa needed, she thrusted the palm of her hand upwards with as much force as she could muster, making contact with his nose and she heard the bones crack and felt the warmth of the blood that had erupted on her hand. She knew she had killed him when his body tumbled to the ground, the door was still open and her first thought was of Joker, and she bolted out of her cell and ran down the hall hoping that she was not too late. Elissa got to his cell and looked into the window, seeing a similar shadow and she rushed in yelling, surprising this second guard whom she grabbed by the arm and using the momentum she smashed his head against the wall. She kept smashing the guard's head against the wall, until she was certain her was dead, and only then did she turn around to face Joker whom was sitting up bewildered.
"What the fuck was that, Ellie?" asked Joker, standing up, trying to shake the tired feeling.
"They were sent here to kill us," said Elissa, panting, she saw what was meant to be the murder weapon and almost laughed at the simple rubber cord that was supposed to be used to strangle them, she left it where it was hoping there was still DNA on it from the guard.
Bailey came running in, his eyes scanning the room, lingering on the dead man in the room and the blood splattered all over Elissa, "I saw them come in here and followed them, I guess I was almost too late, quick thinking on your part, Shepard."
Elissa was shaking as her body started to come off the adrenaline high, she had thought that the danger would not emerge for sometime but she had obviously thought wrong, "Bailey, were these men who worked at C-Sec?"
"He just started working here a couple of days ago," said Bailey as he examined the face of the guard on the floor, "I'll check the one in your cell but I'm pretty sure he had just started here as well."
"That's it," said Elissa, angrily, "Joker and I need to get out of here, how long before they send someone else to finish the job? Bailey, you need to contact Liara T'Soni or Kasumi Goto and inform them of what's happened here, tell them whatever they're planning needs to get started yesterday."
"Of course, Shepard," said Bailey and he looked down at the rubber cord, and chuckled, "They actually thought they could stop you with this simple piece of rubber?"
"Amateurs," smirked Joker, trying to remain calm, "it's almost an insult, Ellie, that these morons thought this small and unimpressive murder weapon was enough to take you out."
Elissa smiled as Bailey left, after the door was closed she rushed to Joker, throwing her arms around him trying not to squeeze, "I thought you were dead, I thought I wouldn't make it in time, oh God, I'm just glad you're alright."
Joker kissed the top of her head, his arms gripping her tightly against him, he had thought for sure they were both goners now he was just thrilled to have her in his arms again, "I knew you'd save my ass, Ellie, you have a very large debt to repay for the number of times I've saved yours."
Elissa looked up at him, smirking with an eyebrow raised, "You're terrible."
"You love it," said Joker chuckling as he pecked her lips, holding her tighter against his chest, he could not believe he had come so close to losing her again and this time it was an assassination attempt.
"You're right," said Elissa, reveling in the warmth of his body, resting her head on his shoulder, "I'm not all that eager to get back to my cell, there's a dead guy in there."
"And there's one in here," said Joker, looking at the body, "Should we ask Bailey for a set of new cells?"
"Sure," said Elissa, "but for tonight, I'd feel a lot better sleeping in the same room as you."
Joker felt his heart skip a beat, she wanted to sleep in a bed with him, that was rather unexpected, "I guess there's no harm in asking, hell, maybe we could get a cell together until we're free."
"I can get you each a new cell but I can't allow you to sleep in the same room," said Bailey, eliciting a disappointed sigh from both Joker and Elissa, "Shepard, I sent a message to your friend, she agrees that we need to get you two out of here asap. She's given me permission to inform you of the plan and it'll go down tomorrow, so as soon as you two are in your temporary cell I'll tell you, follow me."
Elissa and Joker reluctantly followed Bailey to a new set of cells, holding hands the entire walk, both excited and extremely nervous that they were going to try and get out of the prison in the morning. The cells they had been given were the same as before, even their clothes were in there, Bailey had been kind enough to bring them each a bag to pack their clothes and toiletries so they would not have to rush to do that in the morning. They sat down on the bed and Bailey sat at the desk, they looked at each other and knew it was time to prepare for what would probably be one of their most dangerous missions.
* * *
With trembling hands she changed her clothes, she discarded her usual attire for the uniform of a prisoner, it was a simple jumpsuit of nearly blinding red and then she put on the slip on shoes her hair was pulled into a sloppy ponytail. She had smeared some dirt and oil on her face and in her hair so she would look like she had not been given the luxury of a shower also partly to make her look unrecognizable. Looking down at her body she could feel her skin crawling, even though it was part of the plan, being in the actual uniform made her think if this went wrong she could end up in this forever. Up until now, she and Joker had been separated from the general population of the prison, being held in a private section with certain privileges such as wearing her own clothes and now she was facing the possibility that if she was caught she would end up there.
"Here goes everything," said Elissa as she gathered up her things and left her cell, Bailey had insisted that there no longer needed to be such a heavy guard, that he was enough and the other guards had been more than willing to leave their post of guarding Elissa and Joker. Stepping out, she saw Bailey and another guard waiting with Joker, who was also wearing the standard issue red jumpsuit though he did not seem as tense as she did he even looked good covered in dirt and oil as well.
"Red looks good on you," said Joker winking at her, and she smiled then she looked over at the hulking guard and frowned.
"I thought it was only going to be you, Bailey," said Elissa, balling her fist, ready for a fight.
"Easy does it, Lola," said James Vega, lifting his visor so she could see his face, "It's just me, no need to go all Asari commando on my ass."
Elissa wanted to jump for joy, it had been so long since she had seen anyone from her crew besides Kasumi, "I promise I won't, I just didn't expect you here."
"I had to leave a few details out," said Bailey, throwing James an angry look, "He was supposed to stay in character but I guess the threat of Commander Shepard pounding his ass was a just reason to reveal himself."
"I heard what you did to those other guards, I'm not very eager to join them," said James putting his visor back in place, "You two ready?"
"I'd follow you to hell, James," said Elissa as she and Joker fell into line behind Bailey, and James stood behind him as the rear guard.
Silently they walked out of their section of the prison, Elissa expecting resistance at every check point, but it seemed like no one was really paying any attention to a group of human prisoners being escorted out of the prison. They entered bridge that overlooked the common area, they heard shouts and clamor, it seemed to be the free hour for these prisoners and they were going crazy all over the place. Elissa looked down through the window, the only way to get a decent view of what was happening without being there, she saw several of the prisoners beating the crap out a few of the other ones and the guards were even getting in on it. Her blood boiled, this was injustice at its finest, the ones that were supposed to be protecting these unarmed and helpless people were participating in their agony.
James walked up beside her and rested a hand on her shoulder, "Let it go, Lola, this place is beyond even your help."
Elissa nodded curtly, she was sure she could help but she could only do that if she got out first, and she fell back in line with Joker and they continued to walk on the bridge and came out on the other side now entering the out processing center. She could see the exit doors just beyond the scanners and the few guards that were standing around with data pads, checking the prisoners onto the shuttles that would take them away. Her heart was pounding in her chest as Bailey handed over the data pad that had the forged information on it, Liara and Tali had hacked the prison's databases and found two humans that were scheduled to be taken from the Citadel to Earth and had changed the names so it was she and Joker who were supposed to be departing on that shuttle.
"The fewer humans in this place the better I feel," said the Turian guard as he looked at Bailey with contempt, not even really reading the data pad, "Move along." They walked through the kinetic barriers, now in the entry way of the building, less than fifty feet away from the shuttle port.
Elissa could hardly believe their luck, no gunfire or need for violence, they were simply going to walk out of here without causing any trouble.
"Wait just a moment, Lieutenant," called a familiar voice, and Elissa cringed, it was Edward Oakley.
_'Shit, this just got complicated,'_ thought Elissa as she watched Edward strut up to them with several armed guards behind him.
"What's the meaning of this, Oakley?" asked the Turian obviously angered that a human had questioned his judgement.
"These aren't the humans who are supposed to be going to Earth," said Edward, glaring at Elissa and Joker, "These two are supposed to be in the political prisoners wing, this is Commander Shepard and her crippled pilot."
"Well shit," said James stepping in front of Elissa and Joker with Bailey, pulling his assault rifle from behind his back, aiming at Edward, "and here I thought Esteban had found a decent guy after all."
"You still don't know who I am, do you?" asked Edward as the other guards took aim at the four of them.
"Should we?" asked Elissa, she could see that their inability to recognize him had hurt his ego and she smiled.
"You killed my sister, you bitch!" shouted Edward, obviously having taken the comment to heart and he pulled out his own pistol.
"I've killed a lot of people, refresh my memory," said Elissa as she felt Bailey hand her a pistol and she kept it hidden behind her back.
"Maya Brooks!" shouted Edward as his gun began to quiver, Elissa could see even from this distance that his targeting was off, "You killed my little sister in cold blood!"
"I did no such thing!" shouted Elissa, quietly cocking the gun, "I gave your sister the chance to redeem herself, and she was the one who chose to not take it, besides I wasn't the triggerman that was someone else."
"Like I give a shit who actually did it," said Edward, his arm shaking even more, "All I care about is getting the person who put my sister in the situation to be killed."
"Well that would have been the Illusive Man and I already took care of him," said Elissa, now aiming the gun at Edward's head.
"It was you just the same!" shouted Edward, "If they hadn't have cloned you then she would not have betrayed anyone and not have died!"
"He's just going to keep rationalizing it as your fault, Shepard," whispered Bailey, and Elissa knew he was right.
"This doesn't have to end in a blood bath," said Elissa, "Do you really think your sister would have wanted her brother to become a murderer?"
"No," said Edward, starting to point his gun away from Elissa, "but she would want me to avenge her!" His pistol came up and fired, Elissa ducked, barely missing the bullet as it hit the wall behind her.
"Run for it!" shouted Elissa as she and James started firing at the guards and Edward as Joker and Bailey ran for the shuttle that was supposed to take them back to the _Normandy_.
Joker could hear the gunfire as he got into the shuttle and grabbed the assault rifle sitting beside the door and started firing at the guards with Bailey, giving Elissa and James some cover fire as they hopped into the shuttle and sped off towards the docks.
"What the hell was that?" asked Joker, sitting down, "I knew Oakley was a bastard but the brother of Maya Brooks?"
"You make more enemies with every one you destroy, Lola," said James as he removed his visor and sat down on the bench beside Joker.
"How are we going to break it to Steve that his boyfriend is a crazy, murderous SOB?" asked Joker, looking at Elissa.
"I think you already did, Joker," said the pilot, turning around and revealing himself to be Steve in disguise as a C-Sec pilot.
"Steve!" exclaimed Elissa and she embraced him as best as she could with her gun in hand, "I'm so sorry about all of this, and especially about Edward, if I had known—"
"You would have tried to keep me away from him, I know, Elissa," said Steve calmly, "I figured he was up to something when he started asking questions about your trial when it had yet to be released to the public."
"Still, sucks to find out that someone you thought you could trust is related to one of the most notorious traitors known to the Alliance," said Joker.
"Thanks, Joker," said Steve, shaking his head, "Anyway, we should be arriving at the _Normandy_ in a matter of minutes, hopefully Major Alenko has finished up his daily visit with the kinetic barriers."
"That's one determined man," said Bailey as he reloaded his own gun.
"To his own detriment," said James, chuckling, "I think he's under pressure to secure the _Normandy_, he seems more desperate in his attempts to get in, going to far as to try and get a hacker to hack into EDI's systems and gain control that way."
"It didn't work, did it?" asked Elissa, worried that Kaidan would be waiting there when she arrived or that EDI had been compromised.
"Of course not," said James, "EDI's had some upgrades since her run in with your clone and that basic Alliance hacker was nothing compared to her, she actually spammed him with a few terabytes of Krogan pornography, his face was priceless!"
"I didn't realize you had Krogan porn in your private stash, Joker," said Elissa grinning as he turned bright red but he smiled back at her.
"What can I say? I appreciate all species," said Joker in a sarcastic tone, "Remind me to thank EDI for doing that, she really has a twisted sense of humor but it's effective."
"Coming up on the _Normandy_," said Steve and Elissa looked up and saw a huge well armed welcome party waiting there on the docks for them.
"C-Sec or Alliance?" asked James as he looked out of the windshield.
"Looks like Alliance," said Steve, "Guess, Alenko decided to stick around after all."
"How do you want to proceed, Commander?" asked James, looking at Elissa who was already arming her gun.
"It's risky but I have to tell EDI to drop the kinetic shields and then we get in through the cargo hold," said Elissa, "What's riskier is the only spot to get in is through those soldiers."
"Damn," sighed Joker, his legs were already starting to ache from his run earlier and now he was going to have to do the same thing, only with a lot more gunfire around him.
"I'll inform everyone to be armed and ready, when Kaidan realizes that the _Normandy_ is no longer secure I'm sure he'll make a break for it," said Elissa.
Joker winced slightly, she was still using the Major's first name even though the rest were referring to him by his rank or as Major Asshole.
"This is Commander Shepard," said Elissa, into the radio that Steve had prepped for her, now sounding like her old self, "EDI, when I say so you need to drop the barriers and release the ship from lockdown mode, everyone else, prepare for battle."
"Yes, Shepard," said EDI and Elissa was grateful for once to hear the AI's voice.
"Preparing to land, Shepard," said Steve, and Elissa nodded.
"James, I'm going to need you at my side during this," said Elissa and James nodded, charging his gun in response.
"Ellie, what should I do?" asked Joker, feeling useless.
"The priority is getting Joker on the _Normandy_," said Elissa and he went wide eyed, "He needs to be the one to get her off the Citadel, he's the only one who can, Bailey you and Steve are going to get him on. James and I will cover you."
Joker really did not like the sound of this plan, it was close enough to suicide that he worried if he'd ever see her again.
"Elissa, this is crazy, we need you too!" exclaimed Joker as they began to descend, shots already being fired at the shuttle. One had to be biotic since the whole shuttle lurched, Elissa caught Joker before he fell and broke something vital.
"Jeff, I don't need any arguments right now," said Elissa firmly, "I'll be right behind you the entire time, just get us in the sky and away from the Citadel."
"Roger that, Commander," said Joker, holding his tongue for the second time in his life, and he gripped the door as they landed between the solider and the _Normandy_, Steve opened the back door and Bailey, he and Joker all made their way out leaving James and Elissa in the shuttle.
"Now, EDI!" shouted Elissa and she heard the kinetic barriers go down, she flung open the door and started firing at the soldiers, hoping that Joker made it through and was at the helm.
* * *
"Shit, shit, shit!" shouted Joker as they neared the _Normandy_, shots barely missing him as they got to the cargo bay door.
"Open up, EDI!" shouted Steve as soldiers started to close in on them, and the door slid open, Joker and Steve quickly getting through the doorway.
"I'm going back for Shepard!" shouted Bailey as he shot at a few men, "Get this hunk of metal airborne!"
Joker watched as Bailey ran back into the thick of it all, and he closed up the door, hoping against hope that Elissa and the rest would make it through this in one piece.
"Garrus, Tali, get your assess out there and help Shepard!" shouted Steve into his ear piece, "I've got Joker, we're going to start preparing for take off."
"Roger that, Cortez," Joker heard Garrus say as they got into the elevator, Steve nearly broke the console pressing the button for the CIC and off they went, Joker could still feel the pounding of his heart as the elevator stopped.
"Go!" shouted Steve and he pushed Joker out of the elevator and pressed the elevator console again.
Samantha caught Joker and directed him towards the bridge, all he could focus on was getting there and starting up the _Normandy_, the gunfire getting too concentrated where he knew Elissa was making her stand.
Joker sat down in his chair, starting up his console and rapidly initiating the take off sequence, feeling the engines starting up as the ship came to life, "Commander, we are getting ready to leave, get your ass onto this ship, that's an order."
"Since when do you give orders?" asked Elissa, the sounds of gunfire all around her.
"Since I had to leave you behind," said Joker, "I'm unlocking the airlock doors, you and the rest of the crew need to get on it, just like when we blew up the Collector base and I saved your ass then too."
"Alright," said Elissa, and she cut out.
"EDI, what's wrong with the radio link?" asked Joker, trying to regain the connection.
"Something is blocking all communications," said EDI from the co-pilot's seat.
"Get the airlock open," said Joker, as he pulled away from the dock, "this has to be precise or we're going to lose everyone."
"Of course, Mr. Moreau," said EDI, opening her console and Joker heard the airlock starting to open.
* * *
Elissa saw the Normandy starting to pull away from the dock, she knew it was a matter of minutes before they would be ready to leave, "Everyone, get to the airlock!"
Garrus nodded as did Tali, James and Steve, they all charged from behind the shuttle, firing as they passed, hitting a few soldiers before leaping across the landing to the airlock's platform, Elissa stayed on the ground, for a few seconds giving her friends enough time to get on the ship.
"Shepard!" shouted Garrus, he was beckoning her to hurry up as the Normandy was getting higher and higher, she made a run for it not caring that there were bullets grazing past her head as she ran towards the airlock platform.
"Just a few more feet, Lisa," said Tali, urging her friend on.
Elissa nodded as she ran and when she got close enough she leapt off the landing and felt like she was moving in slow motion as her body moved in the space between the two platforms, her hands connected with the edge and she felt Garrus and James pull her up. When she stood she turned around and saw Kaidan aiming his rifle at her then he fired just as the doors started to close, and they pulled out of the docks. The doors to the ship opened and they exited the airlock, all running to the bridge, Elissa put her hand on Joker's shoulder as they flew past several large buildings and then the FTL engaged.
They were away from the Citadel in a shot arriving several lightyears away, floating safely in space, everyone started to cheer, Elissa allowed herself relax, "You did a great job, sweetheart."
"All in a day's work," said Joker and she kissed him deeply, and for a moment he felt like the galaxy was finally back in balance.
Elissa recoiled from the kiss, pain radiating from her abdomen, she put her hand where she felt the pain and when she looked down she saw blood running down her fingers.
"Shepard's been shot," she heard Garrus say, the floor beneath her giving way, everything starting to spin as she made contact with the metal. She felt her breathing slow down, hardly hearing anything except for the pounding of her heart in her ears, she saw Joker's blurry face become clear for a second, his eyes full of fear and then everything went black.
17. Things Can Only Get Better
Joker sat in the mess, he was still in shock, one minute she was alright and kissing him the next she was laying on the floor unconscious with blood spilling from her abdomen. He was surprised at how quickly everyone reacted, James had swept her up in his arms with Tali running ahead to tell Chakwas to prepare a space, Liara had been summoned by EDI to join Chakwas. All he had done was hand the ship over to EDI and walked in a daze to the mess, still unbelieving that she had been shot and that she might die, after all they had just gone through to get out of there in one piece, he still might lose her after just having gotten her.
"The next time I see that bastard, I'll kill him with my own hands," snarled Garrus to James as they emerged from the medbay, Joker looked up and beckoned them over to where he was sitting.
"I can't believe he did that," said James, shaking his head as he sat down across from Joker.
"Who did what now?" asked Joker, wanting to know what they knew about Elissa's shooter.
"Kaidan shot Shepard," said Garrus, his face contorting as if the very words were poison in his tongue.
Joker sat there trying to take in what he had just been told, he knew Kaidan was the biggest asshole that existed, but the fact he had shot Elissa was beyond being a dick, it was downright evil, "Oh my fucking God, he did not shoot her." His tone was menacing, he wanted Kaidan's blood for what he had done to Elissa.
"I watched him pull the trigger," said Garrus, his mandibles flexing in anger, "It was him, albeit was an impressive shot, even on my best day I would have a one in seven chance of making a hit like that."
"You better not be condoning what he did," growled Joker, "If she dies, I'll kill him."
"Relax, Joker, I'm just as bloodthirsty as you are," said Garrus, shifting in his seat a little.
"Lola's a survivor," said James, glancing at the medbay, "She'll pull through, that's almost a guarantee."
"Joker!" shouted Hannah, running down the hall, her hair disheveled and eyes frantically scanning the room as she came to a stop by Joker's table, "How is she? I heard she was shot, have you heard anything, please tell me you have."
"We just rushed her to the medbay, Admiral," said Garrus, his voice calm, "We'll find out anything about the same time you do, Chakwas went straight to work on patching her up."
Hannah sat down next to Joker, her head hung down and she buried her face behind her hands, he watched as she shook with silent sobs that wracked her entire body, instinctively he put his arm around her, "She's going to be alright, Hannah, it's going to be fine."
"Who shot her?" asked Hannah, looking up at James and Garrus, her eyes full of anger as tears rolled down her cheeks.
They both moved uneasily in their seats, neither one wanting to tell her the truth.
"Tell me who the fuck shot my only child!" shouted Hannah, pounding her fists on the metal table.
"Major Alenko," said James quietly and they all watched as Hannah's face contorted with pure rage, this was the look on a mother all people feared to see, it was powerful enough to bring full grown men to their knees and it almost did to James, Garrus, and Joker.
"Fuck," said Hannah, smashing her fist into the table again, Joker saw the dent she left, "I'll be right back, I have an important call to make."
The three men watched as Hannah strode out of the room, a woman on a mission, much like Elissa whenever an important assignment came about.
"She scares me," said James, a shudder moving through him, "I think I'll call her _Diablo_."
"Why would you call Hannah Shepard the Devil?" asked Tali as she sat where Hannah had just vacated.
"You didn't see her just now, Sparky," said James, glancing at the direction Hannah had exited, "She didn't look human, almost as she really had been possessed by some kind of demon."
"Has there been any word on Lisa yet?" asked Tali, now nervously wringing her hands.
"Nothing yet," sighed Garrus, looking at the medbay, "I have a feeling we're going to be waiting awhile for any news."
Rupert came over and gave them each a plateful of food, "To give you something to do while you wait, I think I'll be making more, it appears that everyone is coming to wait for news."
Joker looked up and saw several other crew members now occupying the tables: Ken and Gabby were holding hands, looking at the medbay, worried looks on both of their faces, Jacob was pacing with his hands behind his back, Kasumi was sitting by the door with her knees pulled to her chest and Joker thought she looked as if she were crying, Steve was leaning against the wall looking steadily at the closed medbay windows, Samantha standing beside him.
"I just heard," said a voice that nearly made Joker jump, he looked around and saw Miranda striding up, "I got here as soon as I could."
"It's good you're here, Rosa," said James as she sat down next to him and he put his arm around her shoulders.
"When did you get here, Miranda?" asked Joker, stunned that she was even on the _Normandy_ in the first place.
"A few days ago," said Miranda, "Kasumi snuck me in, Hackett needed me here to oversee the the rescue mission, and I wanted to feel useful again."
"What have you been up to these days?" asked Joker, trying to relax in her presence, Miranda always had a knack for making him feel completely uncomfortable no matter the circumstance.
"Missionary work, actually," said Miranda, "I've been working with several different colonies, helping them rebuild after the Reaper attacks, I've been applying any and all knowledge I've acquired over the years towards their defense systems."
"How'd you end up in Vancouver with Vega then?" asked Steve from behind them.
"We'd been messaging for months," replied Miranda, rubbing James' large forearm, "I had a few days off between traveling so I stopped off on Earth and met up with him, best decision I've ever made."
"Rosa," groaned James, blushing, apparently he was not used to being spoken of in the glowing terms she was using.
"I'm glad you two are together," said Joker, nodding approvingly, "Seems to be working out."
"Yeah, it is," said Miranda, smiling sweetly at James who blushed even harder.
"Chakwas!" shouted Gabby and everyone turned their heads, Joker practically leapt from the table when he heard her name being called.
"She's going to be just fine," said Chakwas wearily, and Joker could feel the relief reverberating through the entire room as they all heard the news, "Joker, she was asking for you."
Joker stood up properly, "Someone needs to tell Hannah that Elissa's going to be fine, you know, before she jumps ship to kill Major Asshole."
"I'll do it," said Miranda quickly, standing up as well, "I've been wanting to meet her, she's been a ghost these last few days, and I think the best way to meet her is with good news."
Joker nodded and he made his way to the medbay, his legs shaking so badly he thought he might not be able to hold himself up, he then followed Chakwas back into the medbay where he saw Liara tending to Elissa who was asleep in one of the beds.
"She's been sedated, though she should be waking up soon. She asked for you before she went under, I thought it would be best for her to wake up to you," said Chakwas as Joker walked slowly over to Elissa's bedside, he sat down in the chair that Liara had produced for him.
"How bad is it?" asked Joker as he took Elissa's cold hand in his.
"The bullet penetrated her abdomen and exited through the other side," said Chakwas, reading her data pad, "which caused the excessive bleeding, we were able to stitch her up, applied quite a bit of medi-gel to her wound and sedated her so her body could recover."
"Why is she so cold?" asked Joker, gently rubbing her arm, trying to warm her up.
"A small side effect of the sedation and the blood loss," said Liara, "the sedation has slowed the blood some and what blood she lost has yet to be regained. She should be fine in a couple of days, as long as she doesn't do anything too strenuous."
Joker looked up at Liara and was surprised to see a noticeable baby bump underneath her dress, "Wow, you really look pregnant."
Liara smirked, "Asari gestation is much shorter than any other species, the irony associated with our long lifespans, and I should be welcoming my daughter in about three to four months."
"Do we need to drop you back off at your base?" asked Joker, "So you can be with Feron when the time comes?"
"Actually, I was hoping to stay here," said Liara, "I want to be surrounded by friends and family when I bring my daughter into this galaxy and the _Normandy_ is my home after all, the crew is my family."
"The medbay is more than satisfactory for delivering babies," said Chakwas, "I'm sure we'll be able to accommodate for you."
"Thank you, Doctor," said Liara, inclining her head slightly, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to contact Feron."
Joker watched as the Asari left, her walk slightly changed by the presence of the large belly weighing down on her, he was amazed that despite everything that had happened she had been able to take care of both herself and manage being the Shadow Broker.
"Jeff," croaked Elissa, her hand now gripping his weakly.
"Ellie," said Joker worriedly, pressing the back of her hand against his cheek, "How are you feeling? Is there anything I can get you?"
"I feel okay," said Elissa, her head still spinning, everything around her going in and out of focus as she tried to look at Joker.
"Do you want any water?" asked Joker, pouring her a glass from the pitcher beside her bed, trying to regain control of his shaking hands.
"No, no water," said Elissa, waving her hand the best she could.
"Yes, water," said Chakwas sternly, "You are dehydrated and you need to drink at least three glasses of water before I give you any pain killers."
"You're a helluva commander, Doc," said Elissa, a smile ghosting her mouth as Joker placed the rim of the glass against her lips and she sipped some of the water, she signaled to him when she had had enough.
"I'm also placing you and Joker on forty eight hours of medical leave," said Chakwas, putting the order through her omni-tool, "I'll let visitors come in once you're more awake, you have quite a few people waiting out there to see you, Shepard."
"I always do," said Elissa wiping her mouth with her blanket.
"You're pretty special to everyone," offered Joker, trying to bolster her morale, like she had so often done for the rest of the crew.
"Thanks, Jeff," said Elissa, giving him a small smile, her head was beginning to feel less clouded but she still felt very weak.
"James has decided to call your mother _Diablo_," said Joker, wanting to make her forget for a moment her pain, and she looked like she wanted to laugh but did not due to the pain.
"Why? What'd she do?" asked Elissa, glad that he was now starting to go back into focus.
"Slammed her fist into the metal table and left a dent," said Joker simply, and he watched as Elissa nearly laughed again.
"Sounds like my mom," said Elissa, squeezing his hand, "God, it's so cold in here, can you get me an extra blanket, please?"
Joker had a better idea, he let go of her hand and took off his shoes, carefully he climbed into bed with her making sure that he did not disturb her stitches or anything else as he lifted her up and put his arm around her for support. When he was under the covers he pulled her close to him, making sure she was comfortable, "Isn't this much better than a flimsy blanket?"
"I have to agree with you there," said Elissa as she snuggled against him, "I feel warmer already, thank you, Jeff."
"You're welcome, Elissa," yawned Joker, he pulled his cap over his eyes, then held Elissa a little bit closer to his chest.
"You should sleep," said Chakwas quietly when she noticed him in bed with Elissa, "you've been through one hell of a day."
"Way ahead of you, Doc," yawned Joker, and he felt his eyelids droop closing out all light around him.
* * *
"They're asleep," Elissa heard Chakwas say a few hours later, rather irritated with whomever she was talking to, "I'll tell you when you can come and visit!"
"Doc," managed Elissa as she eased herself into the sitting position, avoiding Joker's limbs as best she could, "they can come in."
Chakwas sighed heavily and reluctantly allowed a rather large crowd of people into the small medbay, they all sat in various places trying to get as close as they could to Elissa and Joker's bed.
"How are you feeling, Shepard?" asked Garrus, his voice had lost its edge.
"Much improved," said Elissa, "How's everyone else? Anymore gunshot wounds I don't know about, was anyone else hurt?"
"No, Lisa," said Tali, putting her hand on Elissa's hand, "We all got back on the ship just fine, we've just been worried to death about you."
"Shepard," said a calm voice and Elissa looked up to see Samara standing in the corner, "I'm glad you are awake, I was concerned that your injuries might have been more severe."
"It's good to see you, too, Samara," said Elissa, smiling at the Justicar, "If you don't mind me asking, why are you here?"
"The injustice of your incarceration called me here," said Samara, walking over to the bed, "I could feel it halfway across the galaxy, it was so strong I felt compelled to come back to the _Normandy_ and see you. I will stay and aid you in your fight to finding out who is responsible for these actions against you."
"You're too kind, thank you, Samara," said Elissa, inclining her head in a small nod.
"What's going on?" asked Joker as he woke up, slightly startled by seeing everyone around the bed, staring at him.
"We have visitors," said Elissa, nudging his arm gently with her elbow.
"I can see that," smirked Joker, then he saw Samara, "Glad to see you again, Samara."
"Likewise, Joker," said Samara smiling kindly at him.
"Lisa, glad to see you're feeling better," said Miranda, stepping forward.
"Mira, I heard you had a hand in our breakout," said Elissa smiling as Miranda hugged her carefully before sitting on the bed next to Elissa's.
"Hackett brought me in on the plan, that's all," said Miranda brushing away the mention of her part in the breakout as if it were nothing, "I'm just happy that you're doing better."
"Thanks for the concern," said Elissa, "Did Bailey make it out alright?"
"We don't know, Shepard," said Garrus quietly and Elissa closed her eyes against the brewing tears.
"I'll try to find out, Lisa," said Liara kindly from her seat, "I'm sure there will be quite the report on your breakout from the Citadel's maximum security prison, there hasn't been an escape in several centuries and they just had two in one day."
"Always causing trouble, aren't you, Lola?" asked James, smiling at her from behind Miranda.
"Kasumi," said Elissa and the master thief emerged from amongst the crowd.
"Yes, Shep?" asked Kasumi, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"We'll set course for that colony of yours as soon as Joker gets out of this bed," said Elissa, playfully pushing Joker towards the edge though he barely moved an inch.
"Absolutely not," said Chakwas, "You and Joker are on forty eight hours medical leave, and you are not to go anywhere or do anything dangerous until you have recovered."
Elissa pouted and Joker wanted to laugh, her pout was too adorable not to, "Alright, alright, we'll wait. Sorry Kasumi."
"It's quite alright, Shep," said Kasumi, rubbing Elissa's leg, "I need to gather some more intel anyway before we go there, I just want you back in fighting condition before we get anywhere near the colony."
"Jackie!" exclaimed Hannah as she came rushing to her daughter's side, embracing her tightly but avoiding the injured area, "Thank every god that exists you're alright."
"I'm fine, Mom, no need for dramatics," sighed Elissa smiling at her mother who did not seem very amused by her comment.
"Sweetie, do you even know who shot you?" asked Hannah, her eyes filled with worry and anger, "Do you realize how close we came to losing you?"
"Chakwas said it was pretty close," said Elissa looking at the doctor who had resumed her post at her terminal, "I don't remember who shot me, all I remember doing is turning around as the doors were closing then running to the bridge."
"Major Asshole shot you," said Steve bitterly and Joker beamed.
"Of course he did," sighed Elissa, leaning back into her pillows, Joker's arm around her shoulder bringing her more comfort than words right now.
"Shepard," said Samara stepping forward once again, "I know this is a terrible time, but I must ask your help once again."
"It's fine Samara," said Elissa, silently urging the Justicar to continue.
"I have it on good authority that there are Ardat-Yakshi gathering in the outer reaches of the Terminus System," said Samara her tone was calm but her eyes showed fear, "I know this is too much to ask of you, but we must stop them from forming the army I fear they are becoming."
"Is your other daughter alright?" asked Elissa, her mind racing with possibilities and tactical scenarios.
"Yes, she is still at the sanctuary," said Samara, a sad smile on her lips.
"Do you think she'd be willing to help us against this army?" asked Elissa, she could feel Joker tense next to her but she ignored it.
"I could contact her and ask," said Samara her tone now slightly melancholy, "I hope I am wrong but there is too much of a imbalance in the galaxy for it not to be true."
"We'll stop them, Samara, you have my word," said Elissa solemnly.
"Thank you, Shepard," said Samara, "If you need me, I'll be in my old quarters, I hope you feel better soon."
They watched as the Justicar left the room as silently as she had entered it, entrancing the entire crew as she exited.
"I think that's enough excitement for today," said Chakwas, ushering the rest of the crew out of the medbay, all of them groaning and protesting her demands.
"Thank you, Chakwas," said Elissa wearily as she made herself even more comfortable in the bed next to Joker.
"You're welcome, Shepard," said Chakwas, "Now, I want you two to rest up, no Ardat-Yakshi hunting just yet."
"Yes, Doc," said Elissa and Joker in unison, both smiling as the doctor left the room to get some food for them both.
"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" asked Joker, concern written all over his face.
"Yeah, I am," said Elissa though she was having a hard time convincing herself of that.
"You're lying," said Joker firmly, he could always tell when she was being less than honest with not only him but with herself as well.
"I don't know, Jeff," sighed Elissa, resting her head on his shoulder, looking up into his grey eyes.
"Are you okay knowing it was a former shipmate that shot you?" asked Joker, refusing to even use Kaidan's name, rank or anything else they had come up with as a reference to him.
"I'm not exactly thrilled about it but I can't change what's happened," muttered Elissa, rubbing her side where her bullet wound was.
"You are taking this better than the rest of us are," said Joker bitterly, thinking of every different way he could kill Kaidan with just the _Normandy_, coming up with quite a few scenarios all of which involved a painful and fiery death.
Elissa chuckled, "I always expected him to betray me at some point even after we made up, he had showed me his true feelings twice before, once on Horizon and then on Mars. He never really trusted me, status symbol or not, trust seemed to mean everything to him ironically enough."
"It's weird," said Joker, and Elissa gave him a questioning glance, "He seemed to trust me and Chakwas, but not you, even though we all worked with Cerberus."
"You hadn't slept with him," sighed Elissa and she watched him shift his position uncomfortably.
"Point taken, but," said Joker wishing he could erase the image of Kaidan with Elissa out of his mind forever, "even though you were his commander, leading him into battle, he didn't think twice about trusting a doctor who could screw up his body in more ways than one and a pilot that could crush him with just a few maneuvers."
"I guess his trust was in the wrong place," laughed Elissa, and even though it hurt to laugh, she felt she needed to.
"No doubt," said Joker, smiling brightly at her, he loved hearing her laugh and was glad that he had been able to do so.
"I'm glad Chakwas made everyone leave," said Elissa in a sultry voice.
"Yeah, now I have you all to myself," said Joker pulling Elissa back to his chest, he caressed her cheek, his fingers tracing her jawline as he lifted her lips towards his own. He leaned down and brought his lips to hers, feeling the euphoria and relief he had come to know and welcome whenever they would kiss, everything in his mind vanished except thoughts of Elissa and he tumbling around in the hospital bed.
Elissa deepened the kiss, her tongue darting into his mouth, she moaned when he took in her lower lip and gently sucked and nipped it which only heightened her excitement and she could feel that it had the same effect on him. She felt as if something had finally gone right, she had him, she had someone she knew really cared for her and she deeply cared for him in every way a person could possibly feel affection for another person. She knew it would be difficult for them, as they currently had no possibility of settling down and having the chance at a normal life, but that had never been how she worked anyhow, living a calm life was not for her and she knew it was not for Joker either. They both enjoyed being in the thick of everything too much to step away, she could always depend on him to have her back and she to have his, that much she knew and that was the advantage they had over every other relationship: they had proven their loyalty to each other long ago, now all they had to do was prove their love.
18. You Found Me
Elissa woke up, the sheets beside her had gone cold,_ 'Where the hell—?'_ she wondered until a split second later she realized that he was more than likely sitting up in the cockpit. Smiling to herself, she eased out of bed careful not to make too much noise that might attract the attention of Chakwas who's snores Elissa could hear coming from her desk, and she quietly dashed out of the door. Her abdomen was still sore but manageable enough for her to walk nearly straight up, she was grateful when she got into the elevator and was able to sit down for a few seconds before arriving at the CIC. Getting up off the floor proved to be a challenge she realized when she tried to stand and pain seared through her like fire, she rested herself again on the floor and carefully put herself on all fours, breathing deeply to control the pain. Next she pressed her hands against the wall in front of her and using that as a support, she walked her hands up the wall her, lifting herself with her knees until she was back in the standing position.
"Note to self, put metal bars in the elevator for times like this," mumbled Elissa to herself as she exited the elevator, amazed at how quiet the _Normandy_ was when everyone else was asleep. She had never noticed the quiet since her cabin was already so far away from everything and everyone that it was always peaceful, not that she spent much time there anyway other than to sleep. Continuing her way to the cockpit, she stopped by the entrance of the bridge, mostly to catch her breath but also to admire the unique beauty of the _Normandy_, as crazy as it sounded she had never actually taken the time to look at the ship most days it was just a blur as she rushed from one point to another trying to get a job done. With renewed vigor she finally made it up to the cockpit, she stood at the door and listened as Joker whispered various checks to himself, not noticing that she was behind him.
"Jeff," whispered Elissa and she watched him jump slightly before turning around to face her.
"Ellie, what are you doing here?" asked Joker, surprised and pleased to see her.
"Could ask you the same thing," winced Elissa, the pain from her wound making her breathing slightly more painful than usual.
"But I asked you first," said Joker and he motioned for her to sit on his lap, but she shook her head.
"We just got you well," said Elissa in response to his hurt look, "I'm not about to be the reason you have a shattered pelvis and two broken femurs."
"You'd be the only good reason to have a shattered pelvis," sniggered Joker as he helped her into the co-pilot's chair, glad to see her smile.
"Is that so, huh?" asked Elissa with a smirk, grateful that the chair appeared easier to get out of than the elevator.
"You know it," said Joker as he sat back down in his chair, admiring the way the soft light of the console reflected off her face, "So why did you come here? I was going to be back up after I ran some diagnostics."
"Didn't like waking up alone," said Elissa quietly, looking out the windshield at the millions of stars around them, "Reminded me too much of being in that prison when I'd wake up and realize you weren't there with me."
Joker gave her a sweet smile, "Don't worry, Ellie, that won't happen again unless I'm forced out at gunpoint."
"That's a little extreme," smirked Elissa but she was glad to hear it nonetheless, "Why are you running diagnostics now? Chakwas forbade us from work for two days."
"Which is why I'm doing these tests now," replied Joker as his omni-tool beeped with the results from two of the ten tests he had run, "So she can't get onto me for working. Did you hear her snoring, that was my clue that it was safe to leave."
Elissa stifled a laugh, it had been her indication that it was alright to leave as well, "Yeah, lets hope she stays asleep until after we get back down there, otherwise we might get sedated until our medical leave is up."
"That doesn't sound pleasant," muttered Joker as he thought about Chakwas coming after him with a tranquilizer, "Are we really going to stop an Ardat-Yakshi army, Elissa?"
Elissa ran her fingers through her hair, thinking about Samara's request, "I need to talk over the logistics and intel with Samara, but yeah, that's how it's looking at this point."
Joker frowned, she was in no condition to be fighting crazy-ass genetically mutated Asari warriors, "I know it's a priority, but shouldn't we try to find out why we were arrested for charges that were dropped years ago? Shouldn't we go after Cerberus first?"
"Jeff, if we don't stop the Ardat-Yakshi there might not be any way to find out those answers," replied Elissa sternly, getting up from the chair and standing beside him, "As angry as I am at the galaxy right now, I'm not about to let it be destroyed by a sect of Asari that are more deadly than the regular commandos, I owe the people that much."
"Ellie," said Joker, taking her hand in his, "You don't owe the people anymore than you've already given them, you've paid with your life, what more do you have to give? Can't you let this one go, just for right now, after what almost happened with Morinth and then with her sisters. . . ." He stopped himself as he remembered the dangerous undercover mission Elissa had embarked on with Samara in order to get rid of her most dangerous daughter and then when they traveled to Lesuss to save Rila and Falere only to find out that Ardat-Yakshi could become even deadlier. The thought of her running again into immeasurable danger after having just gotten rid of the Reapers was almost too much for him, and it must have shown on his face.
"Jeff," said Elissa quietly, leaning down carefully and placing her hand on his cheek, caressing it softly, "I know it's dangerous, but this is what I do, you've known that since we first met and you also know that I'm not about to turn away a friend in need."
Joker leaned his mouth into her hand, kissing her palm, his eyes closed, "I know, I know, it's just. . .I don't think I could handle losing you again, it was hard enough the first time."
Elissa smiled, "You're not going to lose me, Jeff, you know I'm too stubborn to die twice. Besides, I have a future to fight for now, an even better and brighter one than I could have ever hoped for."
It was his turn to smile now, she was right about everything as usual, "I'm sorry, Ellie, for doubting your decisions, I've just never had so much to lose before and it'll take time to get used to this feeling."
"I know, Jeff, I'm feeling the same way," said Elissa and she kissed him, enjoying the calm all around her, glad that she had him to reassure her even if she did not voice her doubts.
When they broke apart, Joker pressed his forehead against hers, "I guess these tests can wait, lets get back up to the medbay before Chakwas comes chasing after us."
Elissa nodded as she helped him up out of the chair and as they made their way back to the medbay, she could not help but smile at the thought of a future with the man standing next to her, whom had never left her side and did not seem to be making any plans to do so.
* * *
"Alright, Samara," said Elissa, she and the some of the crew were standing in the comm/debriefing room with a projection of the galaxy map taking up most of the table, "Where is the Ardat-Yakshi army gathering?"
"Here," said Samara, pointing at a small cluster barely in the Terminus system, "on the planet Lilonani in the Jumpleakla nebula of the Disnea cluster."
"I've never heard of that cluster before," said Joker.
"It's too small to really be seen on any map," replied Samara as she enhanced the image, "it contains only the one nebula and the one planet, which until recently was uninhabited, now shuttles full of young Ardat-Yakshi are arriving weekly so far they have close to two hundred there now."
"Do you have any idea who or what might be rallying the troops?" asked Elissa, now pacing, her hands behind her back.
"That's what worries me most," said Samara, her tranquil face showing signs of turmoil.
"It's not your daughter, is it?" asked Liara who was sitting down, data pad in hand.
"Oh no," said Samara, relief in her eyes, "Falere is still at the sanctuary, I spoke with her last night, even asking to speak with her guardian who was also there. No, what worries me most is the woman responsible for rallying these Ardat-Yakshi together is another Justicar, Remaldia. She has always been vocal about what she sees as the Asari's mistreatment of Ardat-Yakshi, claiming that we need to embrace this genetic defect as something to utilize instead of destroy."
"Guess she finally got what she wanted," remarked Elissa and Joker could see the tension around her eyes, she was thinking and very worried all at the same time.
"Which is exactly why we have to stop her," said Samara, "If she succeeds in starting up her army, she will destroy both Thessia and Illium before moving onto the rest of the galaxy."
"You know for a fact she is targeting Thessia and Illium?" asked Elissa, no longer pacing, instead looking at the tiny cluster on the map.
"Yes, my sources have confirmed this," said Samara. Joker watched as Elissa bit her lower lip, the mention of Thessia being involved seemed to have escalated the situation, at least in her mind.
"Not that I doubt you, Samara," said Elissa, "but could you run your sources by Liara, just to make sure we aren't going on a wild goose chase? I'd hate to show up at Thessia in full armor and there not be a threat."
"I understand, Shepard," said the Justicar, bowing her head slightly, "I will give Dr. T'Soni my contact's information and after it has been verified, we can head towards Lilonani."
"Wait," said Miranda, whom had been quiet for a change during the debriefing, "Shepard's not a Spectre anymore, we can't just go shooting around a city expecting to get away with it, there'd be too many consequences."
"I have already thought about that," replied Samara, ignoring the glare she was getting from Miranda, "Since I am a Justicar, I can bring anyone I deem essential with me on a mission, as long as they abide by the code they are exempt from any and all laws."
"I guess we should warn the government on Thessia who we're bringing with us," said Elissa thoughtfully, "hopefully it won't come to that, but just in case."
"I'll get right on that," said Liara, standing though with some difficulty as her baby bump was throwing her off balance, "Samara, if you'll forward me your contact's information, I can get started verifying his identity."
"Of course, Dr. T'Soni," said Samara and she left with Liara.
"What do we do in the mean time?" asked Jacob, who also had remained uncharacteristically quiet during the debriefing.
"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst," replied Elissa, "Miranda, I have an assignment for you."
"Of course, Shepard," said Miranda, stepping forward, her arrogance returning at the prospect of being given an important assignment.
"Almost two months ago," started Elissa, activating her omni-tool, "I was sent this message from an anonymous source, I had Liara run it through some software but she came up empty on the source and identity of the sender."
Miranda's omni-tool beeped and she opened it, "Beware the three-headed beast that guards the gates to Hell, it has many keepers_. _Is this the message you received, Shepard?"
Elissa nodded, "I want you to see if you can find out who sent this and where they're stationed out of."
"I appreciate the assignment, Shepard," said Miranda, "but if the Shadow Broker can't trace this message, what makes you think I can?"
"Wow, Miranda, I never expected to hear you doubt yourself," said Elissa smirking as Miranda scowled, "I know you and your abilities, Miranda, you were able to access Cerberus' private network with no problem and I also know you didn't access the Illusive Man's files out of respect even though you were more than capable of doing so at the time. Besides, we suspect Cerberus is behind my and Joker's arrests, if the sender is using the same network then it shouldn't take you too long to hack into it."
"Thank you, Lisa, I won't let you down," said Miranda smiling as she left the debriefing room with Jacob following behind her, leaving Joker and Elissa alone.
"Ellie," said Joker in a quiet voice, making sure not even EDI could hear him, "you never sent that message to Liara to be analyzed."
"I know," said Elissa in an equal tone, "I just wanted Miranda to still feel like she's still wanted on the _Normandy_, I get the feeling all the missionary work she's been doing is her way of making amends for having worked with Cerberus."
"If you say so, Commander," said Joker, taking her by the hand and they walked out together, not even noticing the members of the crew that were staring at them as they moved through the CIC heading towards the mess for breakfast.
"Commander Shepard," said EDI before Elissa and Joker had made it out of the elevator, "Admiral Hackett wishes to speak with you when you have a moment."
"Patch him through to my omni-tool," said Elissa as she and Joker walked out of the elevator, both anxious to finally hear from him.
"Will do, Commander," said EDI and Elissa heard her omni-tool sound off as the Admiral appeared on the screen.
"Shepard," said Hackett, he sounded tired, "I'm sorry I've been out of contact for so long, but it was a necessary precaution."
"Of course, Admiral," said Elissa as she sat down at the nearest table, "Are you alright?"
"Yes, no thanks to the assassin," replied Hackett bitterly.
Elissa's eyebrows raised in surprise, "Assassin? Someone was sent to kill you, who?"
"Not sure," said Hackett, "but he obviously wasn't very good at his job, which I count as a good thing, for obvious reasons. Anyway, I just received word that you were off the Citadel and I had to make sure you weren't injured or anything."
"Little late for that, sir," said Joker from beside Elissa, "as we were leaving, she was shot, she's now in recovery."
"Thank you, Joker," said Elissa through gritted teeth and he smirked at her.
"You were what?!" exclaimed Hackett, apparently he had yet to be informed of how badly the escape had gone, "Was it serious? Who did it?"
"It was pretty bad but luckily Chakwas was able to patch me up," said Elissa, absentmindedly placing her hand on her healing wound, "and I was told it was Major Alenko who fired the shot at me."
Hackett closed his eyes, "This situation just got much more serious."
"Why's that?" asked Elissa, her eyes wide.
"You and Joker haven't been discharged from the Alliance yet," said Hackett, "I managed to convince the brass that you two were not how the Council had made it seem, and after speaking with you both, they believed me."
Elissa looked at Joker, her eyebrows raised in surprise, "The brass met with you?"
"I'm just as important as you are," scoffed Joker, rubbing her thigh underneath the table.
"So why does the fact Kaidan shot me escalate the situation?" asked Elissa, turning her attention back to Hackett.
"He's an Alliance soldier who's now shot another one," said Hackett, "it would appear he doesn't give a damn about regulations anymore and is working independently but now using the Alliance soldiers as a personal army."
"I don't think it's that serious, sir," said Joker, almost convinced that Hackett had gone crazy from paranoia.
"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst," said Hackett grimly, "and that is the worst case scenario right now, so make preparations accordingly. What is your current status?"
"Drifting in space about four or five lightyears away from both the Sol system and the Citadel," said Joker automatically.
"I'm close to Omega, managed to get there with my crew before too much shit hit the fan," said Hackett, "Do you think you could make it out here within the next few days?"
"Actually, sir, we've been drafted by an Asari Justicar," said Joker and Elissa rolled her eyes.
"An Asari Justicar?" said Hackett, obviously surprised, "What has she asked you to do?"
"Stop an Ardat-Yakshi army from wiping out Thessia and Illium," said Elissa before Joker could answer.
"Sounds serious," said Hackett thoughtfully, "alright, deal with that and then get the _Normandy_ to Omega, we can regroup there, hopefully we'll have more intel by the time you arrive. Good luck, Shepard, Hackett out."
Elissa sighed as the screen went black, "That was certainly enlightening."
"Omega?" said Joker, astounded, "Hackett took an Alliance frigate to Omega?"
"Guess it was the last place he thought the assassin would go looking for him," said Elissa as Rupert placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of her and then gave one to Joker.
"Don't worry, maple syrup is warming up, I'll give it to you soon," said Rupert smiling as he went back to the kitchen.
"Did no one eavesdrop?" wondered Elissa, and then she saw that it was only she and Joker in the mess, no one else had arrived.
"Hey, Rupert," called Joker, "Where is everyone?"
"They've already eaten," replied Rupert as he scooped some maple syrup into a bowl, then placed it on their table, "in case you didn't notice, it's already zero-nine thirty, breakfast is usually served at zero-six hundred hours, so it's just you two."
"Thanks for the update," said Joker as he spooned some maple syrup into his oatmeal, "So, should I set course for Lilonani?"
"Later," said Elissa, running her hand over his thigh, watching its effect on him, "I want to enjoy my medical leave."
"Thought you hated time off," said Joker, trying to focus on his breakfast but her touch was making it difficult for him to focus on anything.
"I'm sure we can find a way to make it more enjoyable," purred Elissa in his ear, sending chills all over his body.
"I think you're right," said Joker in a husky whisper.
"Should we head up to my cabin?" asked Elissa, gently nipping his earlobe.
"Yep, right now," said Joker taking her hand, he stood up before she did and began pulling her to the elevator, eager and nervous about what was about to happen next.
19. Lost in this Moment with You
**A/N: This chapter contains explicit adult content. Read at your own risk. Enjoy!**
* * *
_'We're going to her cabin,'_ thought Joker excitedly as he pressed the button in the elevator, _'We're actually going to her cabin!'_
Even though he was excited about what was going to happen he had to admit that he was a little nervous, up until now they had just kissed and cuddled each other, though he had always wanted to go further, hell she was a beautiful woman and needed to be worshipped as such. He had been with a few women before now, not that any of those trysts meant anything to him now, especially after he found out the women had faked it just to get him off and get done before they broke him. Watching the extranet had imparted on him some useful pointers that he was eager to try on Elissa, wanting nothing more than to bring her pleasure she had not felt before.
He inched himself closer to her watching as she gave him a sly grin before moving over closer, the smell of vanilla and roses hitting his nose and he unconsciously growled, it was all he could do to not push her against the metal wall and take her right there. _'Goddamn it, look away!'_ he thought but his eyes refused to cooperate, instead he met her steady gaze, he saw her eyes slowly move down his body stopping every few seconds to take in a different section of his body. He looked at her beautiful face, green eyes sparkling with the anticipation of the moment, a smile spread wide on her pink lips and her golden brown curls framing her face flawlessly each feature taking his breath away as he took it all in not wanting to miss a single one. Looking down further he admired the gentle curve of her cream colored neck that her shirt generously exposed, he was very glad that she had discarded the usual Alliance attire for a tight blouse and blue jeans. Through the thin material he could make out the impression of her bra, his breath hitching when he saw the outlines of her hard nipples, he desperately wanted to release them so he could suck and massage them.
Joker felt a sudden tightening around his own jeans, there was no need to look to know what was going on down there, though he watched her eyes travel in that direction stopping when she reached her destination and her eyes went wide, she was shamelessly showing him that she really liked what she was seeing. Her reaction caused his body to respond in its own way, taking away any and all room that was left in his jeans, not that there was much room before this point. Gazing passed her breasts, he followed the flow of her curves down her waist to her hips, all he wanted to do was reach out and grip her hips against his, his eyes lingered at the spot where her legs converged before following the line of her legs admiring how long her jeans made them look. He nearly groaned aloud when he thought of her sleek legs wrapped around his waist as he thrust deeply into her, guiding him in deeper with each push, _'God, I want her now!'_
* * *
Elissa glanced over at Joker from the opposite side of the elevator and saw him move over closer towards her, she smiled slyly as she moved her own body over to his, close enough that she could smell his musky cologne. Suddenly she heard a deep growl and she realized that it was from him, the sound of his desire made her want to moan as well, looking up into his twinkling green-grey eyes she saw the anticipation and want that she knew was in her own. There was something else, something deeper and it quickened her heartbeat when she recognized it was a look that went deeper than mere lust, she wanted to think it was love but she did not dare to hope.
She had only been with a handful of men, the last one had betrayed her trust completely, yet right now she did not feel the trepidation that normally filled her whenever she was going to be with a new man. Instead she felt confident and safe, something about Joker made him different from any other man she had been with in the past, maybe it was the way he was looking at her or perhaps it was the fact she trusted him with her life and she knew he would not betray that trust. Looking at him she could see his eyes traveling down her body taking in all of her features, lingering on her breasts and she could feel her nipples harden under his gaze, she wondered how it would feel for one to be in his mouth. She allowed her eyes to wander slowly down his body, taking in all of his rippling muscles, she was pleasantly surprised that he was so well defined since from the way he talked it seemed that he never did any working out.
Her eyes felt drawn further down his body, enjoying the view especially when she got down to his groin, inwardly she moaned loudly when she saw his impressive manhood pressing against the restraints of his pants. She desperately wanted to relieve him of the bothersome material, wanted to grip his throbbing member in her hand, feel it enter her as she guided it inside and then enjoy the feeling of him thrusting strongly into her. _'God, I need him!'_
The elevator stopped at the desired floor and Elissa curled away from the wall, thankful that there was only ten more feet between the doors, "EDI, privacy mode."
"Logging you out, Commander," replied EDI and Elissa pulled Joker by the hand into her cabin, happy to finally have him by herself, and then taken by surprise when he pressed her against the nearest wall hungrily claiming her lips as soon as the door closed behind them.
* * *
He wanted her to feel everything in his heart in that one kiss and he knew she understood when she brought her leg up on his hip and pressed him closer to her deepening their kiss with her tongue seeking out his. One of her hands was over his shoulder pressing his chest against hers, the other had knocked his hat off while combing through his hair, he really wanted to feel the heat from her hands on his bare skin. One hand around her waist bringing her hips against him the other on her raised thigh, gently running up and down its length stopping for a few lingering seconds on her firm behind. He could feel his erection pressing against her warmth and it was almost his undoing, he moaned in her mouth when he felt the heat between her legs, nearly dropping to his knees.
Elissa broke the seal he had on her mouth, "Come with me." She lowered her leg and after gently pushing him off her, took his hand leading him over to her bed she could feel the nerves returning, she had been so confident until this moment. Now with him sitting on the bed before her and it had become clear what was going to happen she was even more nervous than ever before.
As if sensing her fear he took both her hands in his, "Elissa, I want you, God do I want you badly."
Elissa breathed a sigh of relief, she knew by his tone and the look in his eyes that he was serious and not saying it just to spend one night with her, "I want you too, Jeff, more than life itself."
"That's a little extreme," said Joker in a husky voice as he drew her close to him, bringing her to his lap, and she straddled him making sure to put her weight on her knees and not her pelvis though she desperately wanted to press her hot core against his manhood.
* * *
He wanted her naked, needed her to be naked, his hands slowing going underneath her blouse and he moaned when his skin came into contact with hers it was much softer than he had expected though he felt slight dips where he knew there were scars. He pulled her top off over her head and sucked in a deep breath, no length of imagining could have prepared him for her beauty; her flat hard stomach the result of years of PT, firm round breasts the gift of nature teasingly being hidden underneath her mint green bra, an hourglass figure that gave way to shapely hips. Even with the bandages on her wound she still looked breathtakingly beautiful, nothing, no scar or wound was going to change that image in his mind. It was his dream come true, she trusted him enough with the secrets of her body, for him to see her in this state of vulnerability that he never thought to see her in.
"Elissa, you are the most beautiful woman in the galaxy," said Joker when he saw her bite her lower lip that he knew was out being nervous. He watched as she leaned down and kissed him tenderly, the desperation gone being replaced by genuine desire and need, he let his hands do his bidding and they roamed up her back the flushed skin igniting his desire further as he imagined it on his own. His hands hit the clasp of her bra and he deftly unclipped it with one hand, and he let the straps roll down her arms not even caring when it hit his neck softly. Elissa sat up and removed her bra and he felt his breath catch in his throat, his mouth went dry when he saw the fullness of her breasts unclothed. He brought his hands around to the front of her body and ran his thumbs over both pink erect nipples watching the goosebumps break out over her skin, then he plucked one of the nipples in his mouth, sucking on it gingerly while the other hand twisted the second one. She moaned loudly the moment his mouth clamped over her nippled and he felt her moving her hips back and forth as he ran his tongue around her nipple before switching to the other one, giving it as much attention as the other.
* * *
Her back arched the moment his mouth touched the sensitive skin of her taut nipple, his beard brushing against her breast only heightening the sensations that coursed through her body, his touch made her melt and she gave in to what her body wanted to do and she expertly moved her hips up and down against his erection. The care and time he was taking to pleasure her was exhilarating, just the fact he was making the pleasure last as long as it was nearly sent her over the edge. She wanted to feel her skin on his, her body craved his touch and she tugged at his T-shirt ready to rip it in half if necessary, luckily he understood her desire and pulled off the shirt himself and she pressed herself against his warm chest. He buried his face in the nape of her neck and she could feel him running his tongue across her skin before it was replaced by his lips, the feeling almost making her drop her full weight on his pelvis but she maintained enough control to prevent that from happening.
* * *
Joker could tell that even with all that was happening, she was still being conscious of where her weight was in relation to his body and he felt a rush of love towards her, she was not trying to get this over with like all of the other women had instead she wanted to make sure he was comfortable so this could go on longer. Gently he rolled over so she was on the bottom and he was on top though her legs were off the bed resting on the floor, he loved the feeling of being between her legs, he kissed down her body making sure that not an inch of her flesh had not been left untouched even working around the bandages on her stomach. When he came to the waistband of her jeans he growled in frustration, nothing not even mere fabric, was going to come between him and his goal and with his teeth he undid her fastenings impressed with himself that he was able to then he pulled off her jeans slowly admiring the toned legs that were revealed from underneath. When he got to to her feet, he started to kiss softly from the top of her foot up to her knee before switching to the other leg, doing the same until he came up to that knee then he spread her legs enough that he could see the lacy white panties. Sitting up on his knees he hovered over her hips, using his hands he quickly slipped off her panties and then settled himself back between her thighs, running his hands up and down the outside of her thighs kissing the soft flesh on either side of his face. It took all his self restraint to not go immediately for her womanhood, and he instead ran his finger down her wet folds and he felt her buck in response only arousing him further. Then he slipped one finger inside her, feeling her grip around it and he slipped another one in once she had relaxed a few seconds later, he moved his fingers slowly in and out of her only increasing in speed when she started to grind against his fingers.
Now he used his tongue to explore her womanhood, savoring her taste as he worked his way towards the bundle of nerves he knew would bring her to another level of pleasure, he ran his tongue across it and her hips rose off the mattress quickly in response. Then he sucked and licked it as his fingers continued to move in and out.
"Oh Jesus, Jeff," moaned Elissa as her body became flushed with the heat of pleasure, "Yes, oh God, yes, Jeff keep going!"
He sped up his actions and then felt her tighten around his fingers, her thighs quivering as she released, and he heard her cry out, "Jeff!" just before her body collapsed from her orgasm. Suddenly he felt himself being pulled up and then Elissa's lips claimed his in a hungry and passionate kiss, he knew if he did not enter her soon he would explode.
"Elissa, I want to be inside you," said Joker in a husky whisper as he felt her hands on his waist undoing his jeans, he stood up to make it easier for her and she made quick work of relieving him of his pants and boxers. Her eyes went wide when his member was released from his boxers and he felt his skin flush in response to her approval of his manhood. She laid back down on the bed as he crawled back up between her legs, he looked in her eyes and saw his desire reflected back at him, then he felt her hand take him in and her touch nearly sent him over the edge. She guided him inside her, both gasping when he was fully sheathed by her tight womanhood, he had never felt so complete in his life, never had this felt so right.
"Fuck, Ellie!" moaned Joker into her neck as he started to thrust slowly, her movements matching his in speed and strength, he managed to bring his head up from the nape of her neck and looked into her gorgeous green eyes that were becoming glazed over with ecstasy.
"You're amazing," moaned Elissa as Joker picked up speed. His own release gaining power as her fingernails dragged down his back, his arm wrapped around her shoulders, using the angle to deepen his thrusts.
He felt himself go over the point of no return, in a combination moan and yell he released inside her just as she let out a muffled cry against his chest and he felt her tighten around him, both giving into the ecstasy that washed over them.
"Holy shit," panted Elissa as Joker moved from on top of her, to laying beside her, pulling her close against his chest.
"No kidding," said Joker in a breathy laugh, and he buried his face in her soaked hair, enjoying her smell of sweat and afterglow.
Elissa turned into his chest, breathing heavily, she could not remember the last time being intimate with someone had felt so good. Nothing she had experienced before could compare to this, there was something different about this time that made it special, she hoped that Joker had felt the same way.
"Elissa," said Joker, kissing her sweat drenched forehead, "that was fucking amazing."
She looked up at him and knew that he did not just mean on the physical level, though that was amazing enough, she could see in his sparkling eyes that it had meant more to him than just claiming her as a conquest.
"I know what you mean," sighed Elissa and she closed her eyes, worn out from the physical and emotional pleasure she had just experienced, glad that she had been able to share those feelings with Joker.
20. Time Well Spent
"Gin!" shouted Elissa throwing her cards down as Joker groaned, angrily putting his own down on the table.
"Remind me again why this game is fun," said Joker as he put a tally mark under Elissa's name on their score sheet, so far she was beating him twenty three to seventeen and on some kind of streak, she had won the last six games in less than twenty minutes.
"Because you're cute when you lose," said Elissa as she shuffled the cards, smiling at him.
"That's not why we used to play," said Joker, smirking at her.
"Remind me then why we used to play cards," said Elissa as she dealt them their cards, then took a sip of the coffee Rupert had poured for her just a few minutes ago, watching as Joker's face fell for a brief second when he saw his cards.
"We used to play as a form of stress management," said Joker, quickly regaining his composure, hoping she had not seen his face a few seconds ago.
"Now we have a different form of stress management," said Elissa in a quiet tone, watching him smile.
"I still like playing cards though," said Joker and he laughed when Elissa scowled though he knew it was in jest.
"Have you two stopped playing yet?" asked Garrus, who was walking off the elevator with Tali's hand in his.
"Just getting started," called Elissa, laughing when Garrus shook his head.
"Why don't you join us?" asked Joker, handing in two of his cards for another two.
"He has calibrations to do!" said Tali, giggling when she saw Elissa and Joker roll their eyes, "I'll join you two though, if anything to just talk."
"I'll be back before dinner," said Garrus as he kissed Tali's helmet, Elissa was touched by this display of affection from Garrus, normally he was so uptight. Tali walked towards the table they were sitting at and sat down next to Elissa, humming a tune she recognized was from the musical _The Fleet and the Flotilla_, Tali's absolute favorite vid in the galaxy.
"What's it like dating a Turian?" asked Elissa, checking out her cards, "Is it just like your favorite vid?"
"Better, I have it for real, " said Tali in a dreamy tone, Joker sniggered until Elissa shot him a look that shut him up, "Garrus and I have always been friends and now that we're more, everything just feels so natural, as if it was always meant to be a romantic relationship."
"I know what you mean," said Joker smiling at Elissa who was also smiling at him.
"What ever happened to Aria T'Loak? I thought Garrus was with her for a while?" asked Elissa, hoping Tali would not get offended by the subject of Omega's queen.
"Oh that," sighed Tali, obviously she was not happy talking about her but Elissa knew she was going to anyway, "she flipped out when she found out Garrus was Archangel."
"You mean he hadn't told her!" laughed Joker, forgetting his cards completely, "Talk about some serious trust issues."
"From what he told me, he was just working her so he could have access to all shady deals and things like that," said Tali, "I'd rather not think about it, instead I'm going to ask Elissa what she plans on doing now that she is free and we're are never going to bring the sorted subject up again, am I clear?"
"Crystal," said Joker trying to be serious abou the situation while Elissa nodded, using her cards to cover up her grin.
"So, Lisa," said Tali turning to Elissa, "What are your plans now that you're free?"
"Other than stopping an Ardat-Yakshi army and finding out what Cerberus is up to?" asked Elissa, trading in four of her cards.
"Obviously," said Tali, who was now doodling on the score sheet.
"I have a few personal matters to attend to," replied Elissa shifting in her seat, trying to stop the tears that threatened to spill over.
"Such as?" asked Joker, this was the first he had heard of these personal matters.
"I want to go back to Alchera," said Elissa quietly, watching Joker's reaction, wishing she had not said a word about her plans now.
"Anything else?" asked Joker, "Anyone you want to see?"
"I was thinking of going to Tuchanka and holding a memorial for Mordin," said Elissa, "We'll have to stop off at Sur'Kesh first though, find Mordin's nephew and bring him with us, and get in touch with Dr. Ingleside, he wants to be there."
"Speaking of memorials," said Tali, drawing what looked like a cat, "have you been in touch with Kolyat since Thane's?"
"He sends me a message every once in a while," said Elissa, adjusting her cards, "so far he's been keeping his nose clean and is getting a job at Huerta as security, I think Thane would approve of his son's choices."
"It's strange but I still miss Thane," said Joker sadly, "He was a great guy and had the best outlook on life, despite the fact he was dying, he acted like he wasn't."
"That's what was so great about him," whispered Elissa, "I learned so much from him, mostly how to cope with the idea of death and still carry on the fight, I wish he had made it through."
"We all do, Lisa," said Tali, putting her hand on Elissa's shoulder and Joker reached across, placing his hand on her's as best he could without disturbing her cards.
"Hey!" shouted James emerging from the elevator, Miranda behind him, "What's with the love fest here?"
"Nothing you can get it on, James," said Elissa laughing with everyone else.
"Damn, and here I was going to offer over my personal vid recorder," said James as he sat next to Joker, Miranda on his lap, "Anyway, who's winning?"
"I am," said Elissa, putting her cards on the table, "Gin!"
"Goddamn it!" groaned Joker as everyone laughed around him, "You win, Ellie, I'm quitting for good."
"Come on, Joker," said Miranda, reaching for the deck of cards, "You might quit gin but don't quit cards, just play a different game, and the name of that your new game is poker."
"Another card game I suck at," sighed Joker but he was smiling.
"Good, then maybe I stand a chance," said Tali watching as Miranda passed out cards to everyone.
"We don't have any chips," said James, kissing Miranda's cheek.
"We can play for chores and favors," said Elissa, "favors of a nonsexual nature, I might add." James and Joker groaned, the women laughed.
"Sounds good to me," said Miranda, "EDI, keep track of who owes whom a favor or who is in charge of what chore."
"Of course, Miss Lawson," said EDI.
"Alright," said Elissa, "lets get this started."
"Bring it!" exclaimed Joker, satisfied with his hand already.
"Keelah, I have a bad feeling about this," said Tali.
"Don't give yourself away there, Sparky," said James and they started playing.
* * *
"Okay, EDI," said Miranda, slightly deflated, "read back the favors and chore reassignments, I think we're done playing for the night." Everyone around the table nodded.
"Yes, Miss Lawson," said EDI, "Favors: Lieutenant Vega owes Mr. Moreau two months of personal training but Mr. Moreau owes Lieutenant Vega a piloting lesson and his dessert at dinner for the next three weeks, Mr. Moreau owes Miss vas Normandy a helmet cleaning and she has to balance Lieutenant Vega's checkbook both personal and for his business, Shepard has permitted Miss Lawson access to her books in return Miss Lawson will clean the fish tank once a week and Lieutenant Vega owes Shepard a tattoo of her choosing free of charge. Chores: Mr. Moreau is responsible for cleaning the crew's various firearms instead of Lieutenant Vega for the next week along with Shepard, Miss vas Normandy has been charged with checking Shepard's personal terminal for two weeks and Lieutenant Vega is responsible for being Miss Lawson's biotics training partner for an unspecified duration."
"I do not envy you there, James," chuckled Joker, reluctantly passing his slice of pie to James, "You need this food more than I do if you're going to be training with her."
"He'll be fine," said Tali, hiccuping slightly, "Miranda will go easy on him, she doesn't want to break her boy toy."
"Not yet anyway," said Miranda and everyone laughed when James turned bright red.
"Oh my god, way too much information," laughed Joker, reaching for his beer.
"It's good to see you loosen up some, Mira," said Elissa, sipping her Kahlua and cream Rupert had made from his secret stash of good liquor.
"It's strange but it feels good to relax," said Miranda, shifting herself on James' lap, "As much as I've enjoyed my missionary work, I feel much more at ease being back on the _Normandy_, it makes me feel like all is right with the galaxy despite all we've been through. With all of the enemies we've faced, you'd think we wouldn't know what it means to relax."
"Yeah, but right now there are no gigantic mechanical squids to shoot at," said Joker, smiling.
"Or Collectors to battle," said Tali stifling a hiccup.
"Still was fun though," said James, "I still wish I had been on the SR-2 from the start, sounds like it was an amazing ride."
"The best," said everyone else and then they all laughed, even though they had stayed in contact over the last few months it felt much better being around everyone again in this setting.
"Still glad you came with us when you did, James," said Elissa, remembering her house arrest and first meeting James when he had been assigned as her personal guard.
"So am I, Lola," said James, hugging Miranda closer, "there's no place I'd rather be, and I'm not looking forward to this mission being over, it might be the end of all this."
"You can never keep the _Normandy_'s crew apart," scoffed Joker, "I think we've proven that time and time again, no matter where you scatter us, we always get back together."
"You got that right, amigo," said James, clapping Joker on the back, "I mean, even Wrex came back every now and then and he's the father to most of Tuchanka now."
"I hope Tuchanka has a large supply of ice," muttered Elissa, remembering her conversation with Wrex at the bar a few months ago, and how he had needed five bags of ice to just make it back to the _Normandy_ without wincing too much.
"Wrex as a father," giggled Tali, "I can just see him playing tea party with his daughters, in a pink hat and holding a tiny tea cup."
"I don't think Krogans know what a tea party is, Tali," chuckled Miranda, "but it would be amusing to watch Wrex be a father, I bet a lot of headbutting is involved."
"Not on the children I hope," said Elissa sternly.
"Don't be silly, I meant he probably would butt heads with their mothers," said Miranda, "All of those women demanding his attention for their children."
"I don't envy him at all," said Joker, laughing.
"You don't want your own personal harem, Joker?" teased James, getting a glare from Elissa, which he chose to ignore.
"Nah, I'm a one woman kind of guy," said Joker, looking over at Elissa who beamed at him sweetly.
"Glad you two are finally together," said James, absentmindedly playing with a strand of Miranda's dark hair, "By the way, it's about freaking time!"
"I agree," called Garrus as he stepped out of the main battery, "Sorry I'm late, just now got done with the calibrations, still have some to do tomorrow."
"Never mind those silly calibrations," said Tali, slurring a few words, "Why don't you try and find my omni-tattoo?"
"Who let Tali drink?" asked Garrus, shaking his head.
"We can't stop her, Scars," said James, chuckling as Tali tried to stand, she was shaky on her legs, "She's her own woman."
"I didn't mean to say it like that," sighed Garrus as he held onto Tali who had stumbled into his arms in an attempt to walk, "It's just you all know how she gets when she drinks."
"She's a helluva lot more fun than you are," sniggered Joker, as Garrus picked up Tali who was now giggling uncontrollably, "You just get a larger stick up your ass when you're drunk, though I still think you'd try to kill some one with it if you could."
"I'm glad I amuse you, Joker," said Garrus, pulling Tali to her feet as she tried to lay down on the floor, "But I also meant what I said before, I'm glad you finally grew a quad and started dating Shepard, it took you long enough."
"Thanks for that, Garrus," sighed Joker, pulling his cap over his eyes while everyone laughed, though no one seemed to hold his reluctance against him.
"Don't feel bad," said Garrus, "I'm about to give Shepard crap for the long wait too. Shepard, you should have walked away from Alenko on Horizon and kissed this man the second you walked back on the ship."
Elissa turned red and hid herself behind her hands as everyone now laughed at her, but she knew the fact they were laughing meant they cared, they just wanted her happy like she had always wanted for them.
"Same could be said for you and Tali," said Kasumi from behind him, making everyone jump, "I knew you two were flirting long before now, just glad you finally grew a quad as you so eloquently put it, and asked her out." She disappeared again and everyone shook their heads, nothing had really changed since the last time they were all on board together.
"On that note, I'm taking her back bed so she can sober up," said Garrus heading towards the elevator, "See you in the morning."
"Good luck finding that omni-tattoo!" shouted Joker as Garrus and Tali got into the elevator.
"I think Garrus has the right idea," said Miranda, yawning to emphasize her point, "Ready for bed, love?"
"I think so," said James stretching overhead, flexing his muscles for show, "I'm glad you're cabin is just over there, Rosa, otherwise I might not make it. Good night, Lola, Joker." Miranda climbed off James' lap and they held hands as they walked over to Miranda's old quarters, Elissa and Joker shaking their heads.
"Do you want to head to bed or would you rather play a few more hands of gin?" asked Elissa, shuffling the cards, laughing when Joker groaned.
"I think I might just head off to bed," said Joker standing up, "See you in the morning, Ellie."
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" asked Elissa trying to sound like she was giving an order.
"To the cockpit," said Joker, pointing to the general area of where it was located in relation to where he was currently standing, "I usually sleep there."
"Not anymore," said Elissa, standing up and taking his hand in her own, "from now on, you sleep in my cabin, in my bed, with me."
Joker blinked a few times in shock, "That was fast."
"I told you I don't do anything half-assed," said Elissa smirking as they got into the elevator, "That includes being in a relationship."
"I like your style, Commander," said Joker and they laughed, before disappearing into Elissa's cabin, both were glad they could be together at last.
* * *
Joker woke up to a ceiling of stars and for a split second he thought he was laying in his chair until he felt Elissa stir next to him and he remembered that he was in her cabin, in her bed, with her instead of being alone. He leaned over slightly and kissed her forehead, glad to be there laying next to her, it really was his dream come true.
"Damn, I'm lucky," whispered Joker, hugging her closer to his chest.
"Not as lucky as I am," said Elissa though her eyes were still closed.
"Sleep well?" asked Joker, kissing the top of her head, smelling her rose shampoo.
"Obviously," yawned Elissa as she stretched, then she put her arms back around Joker's torso, smiling up at him, "What about you?"
"I always sleep better with you next to me," said Joker, smiling back at her, "How much longer until our medical leave is up?"
"Chakwas has to clear us first," said Elissa, propping herself on her pillow with her elbow, "but I suspect we only have a few more hours, then it's back to the fight."
"Sometimes I wish there wasn't a battle to fight," sighed Joker, "but you and I would both go absolutely stir crazy if there was nothing for us to do, hell that almost happened when we were in Vancouver, thank God for that delivery job."
"Delivery job?" said Elissa, surprised that Joker had taken up a delivery job during their extended shore leave.
"Yeah, did a few shuttle runs for Arcturus and occasionally made deliveries to various towns in British Columbia," said Joker, brushing some strands of hair out of her face.
"I never heard that," said Elissa her breath hitching at his touch, "everyone made it sound like all you did while on leave was watch the extranet and play gin with me."
"I didn't want you jealous that your pilot was outsourcing to other companies," said Joker grinning as she pretended to glare at him.
"As long as you don't ask to be reassigned to another ship, I'm fine with you outsourcing your skills," said Elissa, kissing him softly.
"I'd never leave you or the _Normandy_," said Joker, turning serious while he spoke.
"Good," said Elissa, stroking his beard, "because I'd never let you."
"Elissa, I love you," said Joker and he meant it, with all of his heart.
"I love you, too, Jeff," said Elissa and he brought her in for a passionate kiss, she knew he had meant it when he said it and she meant it too, for the first time in a very long time she actually meant those three words.
21. A Small Victory
Chakwas made some notes in her data pad, Joker and Elissa were sitting beside each other on a hospital bed, Joker shirtless and Elissa wearing her Alliance issue sports bra and sweatpants, neither liking the look on Chakwas face.
"I will clear you two for duty but," said Chakwas, clucking her tongue in disapproval, "the care you received in that prison was mediocre at best. I am going to place you both on a strict diet to increase the vitamins and protein you lost eating that prison slop and you are both going to be required to weekly check ups until your vitals are where I like them. Shepard, your wounds are still healing but with enough medi-gel and some bandages I see no reason you cannot still fight. Joker, you are going to continue your physical therapy with Vega though I will be there to supervise and will send him some suggested guidelines for the workouts, I'm also prescribing you some bone supplements which should building up the inner framework of your bones. You are both dismissed, though I expect to see you in about a week for another check up."
"Sure thing, Doc," said Joker, pulling his shirt back over his head, Elissa doing the same with her PT shirt.
"Thanks, Chakwas," said Elissa standing now, "I need to go get ready for the mission. Joker, I had Liara forward you the coordinates for Disnea."
"Thanks, Shepard," said Joker, smiling at her as she left the medbay, not really in a hurry to leave just yet.
Chakwas chuckled when she saw his face, "Should I give you a cooties shot?"
"A what?" asked Joker, reading over the diet he had been given, disappointed to see his favorite foods had been removed from the list.
"Something my mother used to say to me and my sister," said Chakwas, "and I used to say it to my children whenever they were in love."
"I'm not in love," said Joker trying to cover up the grin that was spreading across his face but failing dismally.
"Jeff, I raised four children, all of whom are happily married," said Chakwas in a motherly tone, "They each looked like you do now when they met their spouse."
"I didn't know you had four children," said Joker, laying back in the hospital bed.
"Most don't," said Chakwas, sitting back at her desk, "I try to keep my personal and professional life separate, the only person on this ship that knows about my children is Hannah, she's the godmother of my youngest."
"So do I get to learn their names and occupations?" asked Joker, putting his hands behind his head, content to listen to Chakwas talk about her family.
"Don't you have a ship to fly?" asked Chakwas, eyeing him.
"Not until Shepard tells me to," laughed Joker as Chakwas rolled her eyes.
"Alright then," said Chakwas, reclining in her seat, "My eldest Rosemary is a botanist, Quinton is a mechanic like his father, Olivia is a nurse and my youngest Lila is a pharmacist."
"Wow," said Joker, "talk about ambitious children."
"I'm proud of all of them," said Chakwas warmly, "I miss them terribly but they know I have a duty to the Alliance and this crew as they do to their respective careers and families. We do make sure to see each other at Christmas though, even if it means for me to just be speaking to them through a hologram console, at least I'm there with them in some way."
"We'll make sure you're there for real this year," said Joker sternly, sitting up now, "or we'll bring them to you."
"That's very sweet, Jeff," said Chakwas smiling at him, "but I could never ask the Commander to do something like that, it's too much of a favor that I don't feel I've earned."
"You brought her back," said Joker quietly, "I think you've earned a big favor or two."
"I'll think about it," said Chakwas, helping him stand, "but right now, you have to get this ship to Disnea and save the galaxy yet again."
"Don't remind me," mumbled Joker, his mind now filled with scenarios of the upcoming battle, most ending in a fiery explosion. He hugged Chakwas and left the medbay, trying to calm his racing heart as he took the elevator down to the bridge, not exactly eager to get this mission underway.
* * *
Joker sat in his chair, looking at the console in front of him but not really seeing the information or the controls, instead he was trying to push the idea of Elissa running into battle yet again as far away from his mind as he possibly could right now. For as long as they had been working together he had feared for her life, even more so after what the Collectors had done to the SR-1, and now that he had more to lose it was harder to willingly let her go.
"Mr. Moreau," said EDI from the co-pilot's chair, "are you alright? Your bio readings indicate you are under stress."
"No, EDI, I'm not alright," said Joker bitterly as he started the initiation sequence, "I'm scared as hell."
"Why? The Commander is more than capable of taking care of herself," replied EDI, bringing up her own controls, mimicking Joker's hand movements.
"Just because she's capable doesn't mean I can't worry about her," snapped Joker, he was already under enough pressure to navigate to a practically uncharted world while staying under the radar so they could go undetected by the Ardat-Yakshi all while worrying that his girlfriend might end up a smear on the wall.
"That is true," said EDI quietly, he knew she had detected the tone in his voice, that she knew she had pissed him off but he was not ready to apologize just yet.
"Setting course for the Disnea cluster," said Joker and he heard soft footfalls behind him, he knew it was either Samara or Kasumi, neither made much noise while walking.
"Joker," said Samara, standing beside him, looking at the star map on his screen, "set course for Lesuss, we need to pick up my daughter and talk with some of the other Ardat-Yakshi that are still at the monastery."
"Does Shepard know about this?" asked Joker, hesitantly changing the course, not wanting to go against Elissa's initial orders.
"Yes, I'm aware of the change," said Elissa, walking up behind them already in her armor, "Samara and I discussed it at length after my appointment with Chakwas and we both agree we're going to need all of the help we can get. Convincing some of the other Ardat-Yakshi to join us is the only way we stand a fighting chance."
Joker felt a pit in his stomach, hearing that they needed an army of their own to combat this growing one made him almost sick, nothing about this mission was going to be easy and he knew it just as the rest of the crew knew it as well.
"I will be in my quarters meditating if you need me, Shepard," said Samara, as she exited the bridge.
"EDI, could you give Shepard and I some privacy?" asked Joker quietly, and the AI robot nodded before standing up.
"Of course, Mr. Moreau, I will be by the galaxy map when you are finished," said EDI as she left and Joker closed the doors the second she was through.
"What's up?" asked Elissa, sitting down in EDI's vacated chair, looking at Joker with concern and curiosity.
"I'm worried about you." said Joker, quietly.
Elissa nearly sighed with relief, "Why're you worried? You never worry."
"Ellie, I've always worried about you," said Joker, trying not to show how much he actually worried about her, "I sit here, watching you face God knows what, and I feel completely useless until you emerge from whatever base or cave you were in."
"Jeff, there's nothing to worry about, I promise you that," said Elissa seriously, moving to stand beside him as he turned around to face her.
"You just said we have to recruit what remaining Ardat-Yakshi there are in order to fight the army of two hundred," whispered Joker, trying to keep his emotions in check.
Elissa could see why there was a need to worry but she could not let herself or him get worked up over the situation, "Jeff, listen to me, we've faced much more with a lot less and right now I need you at your best. We might be using the _Normandy_ as part of this attack, and I can't have the Alliance's best pilot worrying about me."
Joker stood and embraced her, not minding that her armor was digging into his skin, instead he focused on the feeling of her arms around his torso and his lips resting against her forehead, he released her a few seconds later, "I'll never stop worrying about you, but I'll try not to let it affect my work too much. I love you."
"I love you, too," said Elissa, kissing him softly, "And I'll never stop worrying about you, so I guess we're even."
"Guess so," said Joker, sitting back down in his chair, the pit in his stomach lessening as he watched her leave the cockpit and EDI returned a few seconds later, resuming her post.
"Your stress levels have decreased since your talk with Shepard," said EDI as she brought her console back online, "I assume you are reassured in her success?"
"You could say that," said Joker smiling as he put in the coordinates for Lesuss, "By the way, EDI, I'm sorry for snapping at you before I was just overly stressed."
"Apology accepted, Mr. Moreau," said EDI and Joker shook his head, he would have to speak with Elissa about EDI and making her feel like part of the crew again.
"Ready to head to Lesuss?" asked Joker, feeling renewed, determined to get the crew there in one piece and then get them home in the same condition.
"Fully prepared and operational, Mr. Moreau," said EDI and Joker smiled, for a second she sounded like she had before their relationship ended and he counted that as a small victory.
* * *
"Approaching Lesuss, Commander," said Joker over the intercom, a couple of hours later, he was glad at least that the possibility of combat on this planet was unlikely compared to what was waiting for them on Lilonani.
"Thanks, Joker," said Elissa as she walked onto the bridge, "EDI, inform Garrus and Samara, tell them to be ready and at the shuttle in five minutes."
"Of course, Commander," said EDI, standing up, "I will take this as an opportunity to, how is it said, stretch my legs?"
"That's fine, EDI," said Elissa smiling as EDI left the bridge and she sat down next to Joker in the co-pilot's seat.
"She knows she can just use the intercom, right?" asked Joker as he prepared the Normandy to enter the gravitational pull of the planet.
"I think she wants to get more of a feel for interacting with organics," said Elissa adjusting her gloves, tempted to remove them and pick her nails, she was nervous about what they were going to find down there and if any of the Ardat-Yakshi would be on their side.
"Yeah, maybe, she's gotten better at it than before," said Joker, scanning the numbers that popped up on the screen, "Commander, there seems to be a distress beacon of some kind coming from Lesuss."
"Impossible," said Elissa coming over to check the screens, "We would've intercepted it long before now, EDI would have told us about it."
"Here, listen to this," said Joker, bringing up the message imbedded in the signal ship wide, Falere's voice filling the quiet.
"Help! The monastery is under attack! They're taking us by force, some that resisted are dead! Please, if you get this, save us!" The message hit static and cut out. Even from sitting in the cockpit, Joker could sense that the atmosphere on the ship had just changed, the importance of this mission increasing with each passing second.
"Can you tell how long ago that beacon was sent out?" asked Elissa her mind reeling at the possibility they were already too late to save anyone.
"According to the data, about two days ago," said Joker and his breath hitched when he realized this attack had happened while they were on medical leave, "Ellie, this isn't your fault."
Elissa shook her head, "Of course it is, if I hadn't—"
"Don't start that crap," said Joker harshly, turning to face her, "Don't you dare blame yourself for this, blame Alenko, blame the Council but do not blame yourself."
Elissa blinked at him a few times, stunned that he had spoken to her that way but she knew he was right, even though she still felt completely at fault for the attack on the monastery, "You're right, Jeff, but I still feel responsible for finding answers."
"You do that," said Joker, taking her hand in his, "but the second you start blaming yourself, I'm going to have to administer corporal punishment."
Elissa gave him a coy smile, "Well, if that's the reward, then I might blame myself a little bit."
Joker gulped, that was not the answer he had been expecting, and he was not sure how to respond to what she had just said so he gaped at her instead while she threw her head back and laughed.
Garrus' voice cut through the intercom in the cockpit, "Shepard, you might want to get down here before Samara goes herself, she's trying to convince Cortez to take off."
"I'll be right down," said Elissa and she looked at Joker, "Keep the family safe."
"Don't I always?" remarked Joker smugly as Elissa kissed his cheek, "Come back in one piece."
"Don't I always?" called Elissa as she ran down the CIC, he feigned laughter until he heard her enter the elevator then he stopped and turned back to the consoles.
"No, not always," said Joker quietly and he flipped on the monitors on Elissa's, Garrus' and Samara's suits already seeing the inside of the shuttle as it prepared to leave, he leaned back into his chair and sighed, it was going to be a long mission.
* * *
"What do you think we'll find down there, Shepard?" asked Garrus as the shuttle flew towards Lesuss.
"Not sure," said Shepard quietly, looking at Samara whom was sitting down appearing to meditate even now, "hopefully we find clues."
"What clues?" asked Garrus, "We already know where they are and what their plan is, what else is there to find?"
"I'm not sure," said Elissa slightly exasperated with Garrus, "but I have a feeling there's something more to this than meets the eye."
"Possibly," said Garrus, the detective in him emerging, "I mean, why hit a monastery full of peaceful Ardat-Yakshi when there is apparently already two hundred non-friendly ones under one roof already?"
"Samara, are there records of all Ardat-Yakshi born?" asked Elissa, turning to the Justicar.
"Not usually," said Samara standing up, gripping the bar above her, "as I have said before, the emergence of such traits happens after an Asari has entered the stage of young adulthood and by then it is too late."
"Why is that of any importance, Shepard?" asked Garrus, adjusting his sniper rifle.
"I wanted to see if we could figure out where they might hit next and stop them there," said Elissa, "I'm not too crazy about flying to a planet where they have the home field advantage."
"You've done this before," said Garrus reassuringly, "Remember? We flew through the Omega four relay to fight the Collectors on their own base."
"Yeah," said Elissa giving a small smile, "I guess I have."
"Don't worry, Shepard, we'll get through this like we always have," said Garrus, nudging her with his shoulder.
"Rest assured, Shepard, this will turn out in our favor," said Samara, resting her hand on Elissa's shoulder.
Elissa smiled again, ordinarily she was not this worried about a mission but there was something unsettling about facing a huge army with only her small crew and no back up. She appreciated the support she was getting from her crew, it made her feel good they were still behind her all of the way even though they were flying blind in so many ways right now.
"Approaching the monastery, Commander," said Steve, putting in the landing sequence.
"Alright, thanks, Steve," said Elissa, steeling her mind against any negative thoughts about the mission that were creeping up on her. She needed to stay sharp, there could be anything waiting for them on the surface or in the monastery and in order to accomplish this successfully she needed to keep herself focused.
* * *
"Anything?" asked Miranda as she walked into the cockpit with Joker and EDI, she leaned against one of the consoles.
"They just touched down," said Joker, watching the monitor that showed the feed from Elissa's suit of armor.
"There are no readings of life on the planet's surface, other than those of the Commander, Mr. Vakarian, and Justicar Samara," said EDI from her seat and Joker felt a sense of relief, at least there was no danger of an ambush.
"You should tell Lola that," said James as he entered and stood behind Joker's chair.
"I have already relayed that information to the Commander, Lieutenant Vega," said EDI.
"How is she?" asked Hannah, Kasumi following behind her.
"The Commander is exhibiting levels of calm she has not displayed before on any critical mission," replied EDI and Hannah nodded, she had warmed to the AI more during Elissa's incarceration, when they had fought to keep the _Normandy_ out of Kaidan's hands.
"Shep's always been good under pressure," said Kasumi, sitting on the floor, watching the feed on the monitor.
"That's an understatement," mumbled Joker as he widened the monitors.
"Do you think Samara's daughter is alright?" asked Miranda, reading the minds of everyone standing there in the cockpit.
"Who knows," said Hannah quietly as she watched Elissa charge towards the doors of the monastery, resting against the closed door, looking in through the other door that was hanging on its hinges.
"This was the work of a Justicar," everyone heard Samara say.
"How can you tell?" asked Garrus, as they entered cautiously.
"Most biotics, even Ardat-Yakshi, hesitate to forcibly enter sacred places such as these," said Samara her voice hard, "Only Justicars are guiltless about entering these areas with violence and force."
"Why do the Ardat-Yakshi hesitate?" asked Elissa as they entered one of the rooms.
"I'm not sure," said Samara, "it's just an observation I've made during my years of hunting them down, even Morinth took enough care to use her own hands to open the doors to a sanctuary, once during one of our confrontations."
"She claimed sanctuary?" asked Garrus, not hiding the surprise in his voice.
"Of course, I was out to kill her, she wanted to live, it was the logical answer," replied Samara calmly as they walked up the stairs.
"I get the feeling something's about to happen," said Tali as she entered and stood beside Hannah, her mask fixed on the screen.
"I think we all have that feeling," said James quietly, they were all watching intently, no one's eyes flickered away from the screens as Elissa and the rest of the crew made their sweep of the monastery so far finding nothing out of the ordinary.
"Guess they took everyone," said Joker, resting his head in his hand, "even the bodies of the dead Ardat-Yakshi they shot up."
"They haven't left yet so Jackie probably thinks there is something more here," commented Hannah, who was now sitting on the ground next to Kasumi.
"One more section to search and then we're done," said Elissa her voice calm as she opened the door in front of her, the camera then focused on a mound on the floor. The crew in the cockpit had to focus their eyes on it before they realized it was a body.
"No!" shouted Samara, her voice broken, devastated as she rushed forward past Elissa, and gathered the body in her arms, "Falere, oh my sweet girl, I'm so sorry."
Everyone in the cockpit hung their heads, this was not the outcome they had been hoping for, they had all been secretly hoping Falere had made it so Samara would have someone left to call her 'Mother.'
"Samara," said Elissa softly as she knelt down beside the Justicar, she put her hand on her shoulder, "I'm so sorry."
"It's alright, Shepard," said Samara weakly as she held Falere closer to her form, "I just want some time—"
The room was suddenly full of coughing and rattled breathing, cutting Samara off completely, the crew looked up and saw through the camera Falere's eyes flutter open feebly.
"Joker, tell Chakwas to prepare the medbay!" said Elissa through her ear piece, "We're bringing Falere back with us and she's critically injured."
"Aye, aye, Commander," said Joker, patching into the medbay's intercom, "Chakwas, Shepard's bringing back an injured Asari, tell Liara and prepare the medbay."
"Of course, Joker," said Chakwas.
"Thank heaven," Joker heard Miranda say beside him and he nodded, she had said it all for them.
"I'm going down to meet them," said Hannah and the rest followed behind her except James who stayed to watch the ground team's progress back to the shuttle.
"We might actually have a happy ending here, Joker," said James smiling as he clapped Joker on the shoulder.
"It's not the first time," said Joker, unable to contain his grin, although they had missed the attack by two days, they were still able to save the one that mattered most to Samara and that was a victory.
"No, but they're becoming few and far between," said James, and Joker could see the ghost of a smile on his face.
"Don't worry, big guy, there'll be plenty more moments like this," said Joker, uncharacteristically optimistic for once, this had been their biggest victory since the Reapers and he was not about to let the details of what was to come kill his mood.
"Whatever you say, _amigo_," said James, "I'm going to head to the mess, Rupert's making some kind of fireball chili and he bet me fifteen credits I couldn't finish a bowl."
"Damn, James, you know you can't die on us right?" laughed Joker as he brought up the consoles instead of the camera monitors.
"Hey, who said I would die?" asked James, pretending to be offended.
"I can just see your headstone now," said Joker, ignoring James' question, "Here lies Lieutenant James Vega, N7 drill instructor, helped take down the Reapers, defeated by Rupert's fireball chili."
"Ah, screw you, _pendejo_," laughed James as he left the cockpit.
Joker smiled to himself as he punched in the sequence to open the doors for the shuttle, although they had an army to fight soon, it felt good to have at least one victory under their belt before the showdown.
22. Horseshoes
Elissa and Joker sat beside Samara outside of the medbay, the rest of crew spread out around the mess hall, all waiting for news on Falere's condition since she had been rushed to the operating room almost an hour ago. Samara's usual calm demeanor seemed to have shattered the instant she saw Falere taken away on the stretcher, she had held herself together on the way to the shuttle from the monastery and even while sitting on the ground with Falere in her embrace. She had spent the last hour periodically weeping for her daughter, _'Even the most calm and level headed of people can be broken when their child is injured'_ Elissa reasoned as she handed Samara another tissue.
"Samara, is there anything we can get you?" asked Joker, looking to Elissa for any clue as to what to do about this situation.
"No, Joker, you and Shepard have done quite enough," said Samara smiling weakly at him, he could see on her eyes the same pain that he had seen in Hannah's eyes when Elissa had been smashed against the pavement and after she had gotten shot.
"She'll pull through this, Samara," said Elissa encouragingly, "She's a fighter like you are, you'll see." Samara sighed heavily, Elissa could only imagine the immense pain she was feeling in her heart at this moment, she hoped against hope this really would turn out in a positive way but after seeing Falere it almost appeared to be a lost cause.
"Samara, look," said Kasumi gently, the Justicar looked up at the thief and then where she was pointing, Chakwas had just emerged from the medbay, she looked weary but triumphant.
"Samara," said Chakwas and Samara rose from the table, even now her majesty was undeniable, "She's going to make a full recovery, she's weak and sustained a great deal of blood loss, but she'll pull through."
Everyone in the mess cheered, this was the outcome they had been hoping for the entire wait, Samara was practically glowing with happiness as she took in the news that her only living daughter would survive her ordeal.
"Go to her, Samara," said Garrus from behind and they all watched happily as Samara entered the medbay with Chakwas, whom then closed the shutters to allow privacy for the mother and daughter.
"Guess we should get back to work," said Joker and as the crew prepared to leave the mess they heard James gagging, Joker turned and burst out laughing at James' face, he had just taken a bite of Rupert's fireball chili and apparently it was too much for him.
"Geez, James, I thought you had already done that challenge," said Joker as he calmed himself down.
"I didn't want to. . . . do it earlier. . . .out of respect. . . ." wheezed James as he breathed heavily, trying to douse the fire in his mouth, he then took the glass of water sitting beside his bowl, even that did nothing to quell the burning.
"Try milk, James," said Elissa as she tried to hide her grin behind her hand. James gave her a thumbs up as he reached for the canister of milk in Rupert's fridge, pouring it straight down his throat, his shirt and the floor becoming soaked with the milk that missed his mouth.
"I better stay and help him clean up," sighed Miranda, walking towards James, shaking her head in amusement.
"We better head back up to CIC," said Elissa to the rest, "or have we all forgotten that there's an army to stop? Garrus, you and Miranda are with me, I'll speak with Samara before we get there about whether or not she wants to accompany us."
"Of course, Shepard," said Garrus as he summoned the elevator, "I'll tell Miranda just as soon as Vega's skin has turned its normal color again." They all turned around and saw that James' skin had indeed flushed bright red and his eyes were streaming with tears as he took another bite of the chili.
"He'll do anything for fifteen credits," sighed Steve as he watched James nearly choke on the second bite.
"Nah, he'll do anything for the bragging rights," said Joker, trying not to laugh as Miranda held onto James' hand as if he were giving birth instead of trying to beat the pain of the chili.
"I'm going to ask Rupert what he put in that stuff," said Tali, shocked that James was going for a third bite when it was obviously a painful experience.
"You do that and I'll just avoid it," said Elissa smiling as the door pinged and the elevator doors opened, "Lets go fight an army."
"Yeah, thanks for reminding me," sighed Joker and Elissa took his hand, squeezing it lightly as they stepped into the elevator with the rest of the ground team, he was still less than eager to continue this mission.
* * *
"Coming up on Lilonani," said Joker a couple of hours later as Lilonani entered his field of vision, it was a beautiful looking planet, with features like Earth but it appeared there were lava fields scattered around on the land.
"Mr. Moreau," said EDI, "I am afraid it will be most difficult to fly the _Normandy_ on Lilonani, there are many active volcanoes that are erupting at various intervals, some of them firing lava as high as the atmosphere."
Joker groaned, "Just tell me something EDI, if I have to make an emergency evac, will I be able to?"
"If it is well timed, then yes," replied EDI sounding almost cheerful. Joker covered his face with his cap to hide his disappointment, he had wanted to hear that it would have to be fast not well timed, if something had to be well timed that meant Elissa and the ground team might be waiting around for a long time and that could mean the difference between life and death.
"Hey," said Elissa from behind, Joker spun around, glad to see her before she left for the mission, "We're just about ready to go, Steve's making sure the kinetic barriers on the shuttle will hold against the lava."
Joker felt the pit in his stomach again as he looked at her, he could tell she was nervous by the way the light in her eyes had dimmed, but her face was brave and he knew she was ready for whatever this mission was going to throw at them.
"Wait, how did he . . ." started Joker and he looked at EDI, who winked at him, and he knew it was her who had sent the information about the lava fields to Steve.
"How did he what?" asked Elissa, confused a little.
"It's nothing, Ellie," said Joker smiling a little as she leaned down to kiss him, for a brief moment he felt sweet relief of the fear and anxiety that was churning in his stomach, when she pulled away he looked at her, "Please be safe."
"I will be," promised Elissa, stroking his beard with her gloved fingers.
"Shepard," said Steve through the intercom, "We're ready to leave. Samara, Miranda, and Garrus are all waiting for you."
"I take it Samara wanted to go with you after all?" asked Joker, genuinely surprised, and now even more fearful for her life.
"Yeah," said Elissa trying to sound like nothing was wrong but she could not ignore the emptiness in her gut, the last time she and Samara had come face to face with Ardat-Yakshi it had almost ended in the death of not only Samara but for Falere the rest of girls at the monastery.
Joker pulled her down to his level, pressing his forehead against hers, not wanting to let go just yet, "I love you, Elissa."
Elissa fought against the tears, though she wished she could lose it and cry, "I love you, too, Jeff." She pulled away, and turned her back to him, unable to face him as she walked away from the man she loved.
"You better come back," said Joker as she walked away, she stopped and turned her head to look at him, "That's an order, Commander."
"Since when did you start giving orders?" asked Elissa quietly, smiling softly at him.
"Since I found out I'm going to have to pull your ass out of a lava pit again," replied Joker and Elissa laughed, he felt good to hear her laugh again, it had been too long. She turned around again and left the bridge heading towards the elevator, Joker mentally went through the map of where she was going to have to go in order to get to the shuttle, to him it was a way of calming down since he knew exactly where she was at least while she was on the ship.
"Mr. Moreau," said EDI, "Although your heart is racing, you seem to be a ease, is this normal for organics?"
"Sometimes," said Joker as he prepped the _Normandy_ for the shuttle's departure, "Whenever humans are put in a crisis, like this crew often is, we can feel nervous all we want but we keep a level head and get the job done."
"I see," said EDI, "So while you might be scared about the well being of the Commander, you know you have a job to do, and you do your job despite your actual emotions regarding the mission even if your emotions may interfere with your job performance. That seems like a very hypocritical system."
Joker laughed, "That's the human race's claim to fame: hypocrisy."
He looked out of the windshield and saw the shuttle flying away towards Lilonani and Joker swallowed hard, how he was going to make it through these next few hours without completely losing his mind he did not know, but it would be nothing short of a miracle.
* * *
Elissa pulled off her glove and started to pick her nails, thinking about what they might find when they get down there, how much of a battle they were actually going to face and if they were all going to make it back in one piece.
"You shouldn't do that," said Miranda through the helmet she was wearing, watching Elissa as she picked her nails, "It's your tell, we all know you're nervous when you start to pick your nails."
Elissa looked up at Miranda through her own helmet and reluctantly put her glove back on, she was right, she needed to show strength right now, "I'll keep that in mind, Mira, thanks."
"Lisa, we'll make it through this," said Miranda kindly, "Then we'll find out why Cerberus is interfering in your life then you and Joker can ride off and live happily ever after."
Elissa laughed, "I wish it was that easy. Have you found anything on that message?"
"Not yet, but there are some promising leads," replied Miranda, "I'm running a few tests as we speak, I'll let you know as soon as I have some new results."
"Thanks, Mira," said Elissa and she turned to Samara who was looking out of the window at the emptiness of space, "Are you going to be alright, Samara?"
"What do you mean, Shepard?" asked Samara quietly.
"The last time we did something like this, I had to prevent you from shooting yourself," said Elissa, her eyes narrowed, "Is your code going to interfere again? Are you going to try and kill innocent people?"
"Ardat-Yakshi are not innocent," replied Samara, "Their very existence is a crime that must be corrected."
"Your own daughter is an Ardat-Yakshi," said Garrus bitterly, "How can you say something like that and expect us to be sympathetic?"
"I don't expect your sympathy," replied Samara, "All I expect is Shepard will allow me to do what is right when the time comes."
"I'm not about to let you slaughter innocents who's only crime was being born," growled Elissa as she stood up, now second guessing asking Samara to come with her on the mission.
"That is not for you to decide," said Samara softly, "They left the monastery where they were expected to stay, only there were they safe from me, now they are a willing target."
Elissa's face contorted with rage, "They did not willingly leave the monastery! They were taken, and if you are going to be a hinderance on this mission, I will have Steve take you back and you can watch while I go against your code! I'm not about to let you kill anyone who hasn't committed an actual crime."
Samara looked as if she were going to protest and argue with Elissa but she said nothing of the sort, "I'm sorry, Shepard, this situation is rather difficult for me. I have my duties as a Justicar to uphold yet I am the mother to what I have sword to destroy, you can see where this is a conflict of interest, I will not interfere with your decision be it mercy or destruction."
"Thank you, Samara, I know this is difficult for you," said Elissa, putting her hand on her friend's shoulder, "I hope we don't have to make too many devastating decisions, not only for your sake but for the sake of those girls that were kidnapped."
"I share that hope as well, Shepard," said Samara, turning away from her friend. The group remained quiet the rest of the journey, each mentally preparing for what was to come, hoping this would turn out much better than how it was looking at the moment.
* * *
"Oh dear God," groaned Joker when he saw the planet's surface through Elissa's helmet camera, "Why can she never go to a nice beach? Why do the places she ends up always have to involve lava or a poisonous atmosphere?"
"Well, Mr. Moreau . . ." started EDI before Joker cut in.
"That was rhetorical, EDI, meaning do-not-answer," said Joker silencing EDI, he was not in the mood for any of her input right now.
"Heard Shepard just landed planetside," said Jacob as he and Kasumi walked onto the bridge, "What's the situation?"
"How did you know that?" asked Joker and then he saw Kasumi silently giggling, he knew she had been spying on him the entire time and went to tell Jacob what she had found out.
"A little bird told me," smirked Jacob, his eyes darting to Kasumi, and Joker nodded in understanding, "So where's Shepard headed, she isn't flying too blind I hope?"
"I have already forwarded the Commander a possible location for the Ardat-Yakshi hideout," replied EDI, "There was a massive biotics reading in that area, which seemed the most likely place for the army to be hiding out."
"Lets hope Shepard's ready for this," sighed Jacob as he made himself comfortable on the floor, Kasumi sitting down next to him, they smiled at each other and Joker rolled his eyes, those two had always had the strangest of relationships.
"If I know my daughter, she's already two steps ahead of them," said Hannah as she entered, "and has a plan for getting her ass out of the fire."
"That's my area of expertise, Hannah," said Joker, grinning up at Hannah as she stood behind him, her eyes now fixed on the screens.
"That plan better involve getting Garrus out of there as well, Joker," said Tali sternly as she entered, standing next to EDI, her helmet turned to the screens.
"You know it does, Tali," sighed Joker, though he smiled, it was cute to him that she worried about Garrus the same way he worried about Elissa.
"Good," said Tali, and the room grew quiet as Elissa and the rest of the ground team made it to what looked like an abandoned mining shaft.
"Why would the Ardat-Yakshi put their army here, I wonder," said Miranda as they crept closer to the door, obviously keeping an eye out for any kind of defense mechanisms.
"Makes more sense than keeping them near a bubbling pool of lava," commented Garrus, "Mechs! Get down!"
The sounds of gunfire filled the room as they fired upon the mechs, bringing down the machines easily, after the last mech had fallen Elissa and Garrus went around collecting more ammunition with Miranda and Samara bringing up the rear.
"They probably know we're here," said Elissa, "Come on, lets get inside." The group walked to the door of the mine shaft and Miranda was quick to bypass the lock on the door, they entered quietly and removed their helmets.
"Where should we start looking?" asked Garrus, checking his omni-tool for the map EDI had forwarded them of the facility, "This place is huge."
"The center of the facility is more than likely where Remaldia is," said Samara reloading her pistol, "but there are many room between here and there, perhaps we can find out more about her plans for this army."
"Alright, we'll also keep an eye out for survivors," said Elissa as she checked her own map, her brow crinkling when she saw how many room there were in this facility. They started off down the hallway, keeping an eye out for more mechs or other means of security.
"What do you think this Remaldia has planned?" asked Kasumi as a general question to everyone in the room, the silence of her companions deafening.
"We already know about Illium and Thessia," said Jacob, "What more do you think there might be?"
"It doesn't seem weird to you that all of these dangerous Asari are able to congregate in one area and no one say a word?" asked Kasumi, adjusting her hood, "I mean, from what I've gathered, they are watched by the government on Thessia through the monastery which was designed specifically for Ardat-Yakshi."
Joker frowned, this entire situation felt too much like a trap for his own comfort, "I doubt it was Samara who set this up, but maybe Falere, I mean she was the only Ardat-Yakshi not taken, and in her distress call she said they were taking even the dead bodies."
"You're right," said Tali thoughtfully as she watched Garrus' screen, "You know, if we're all thinking this, maybe Lisa is too. Do you think she brought Samara along for an ulterior reason? I mean, why didn't she just take Liara or even James for that matter, both would be an excellent choice instead of Samara."
"Because I am pregnant and James lacks the same finesse that Samara possesses," said Liara, Joker turned and looked at her, amazed that her stomach had grown even more in these last few days.
"I guess you're right Liara," said Tali slightly disgruntled at having been outsmarted by Liara, "Have you spoken to Falere?"
"No, I have not had the chance," said Liara, she seemed tired and breathless, "Is there a chair I could borrow? I need to sit down."
Joker was about to stand when EDI said, "Take mine, Dr. T'Soni, you are in more need of it than I am currently."
"Thank you, EDI," said Liara grateful at the AI's kindness, she sat down, her hands folded on her belly a smile of relief ghosting her face, "Back to your comment, Joker, it does seem strange that the people who attacked the monastery left behind an injured Ardat-Yakshi, and she just happened to be the last living daughter of a powerful Justicar."
"So you think this is a trap too?" asked Joker, taking off his cap, running his fingers through his hair as he watched the screens.
"It's got every element a trap needs," continued Liara, "It has bait, a target, and a situation that would appeal to the target. What I am not sure of is if this is a trap meant for Lisa or for Samara."
"You have a point there," said Jacob, rubbing his tired eyes, "I mean the bait could be either Falere or the girls taken from the monastery, one would appeal to Samara the other to Shepard either one ensuring the emotional involvement of both women. Then the situation is also designed to get the notice of both Shepard and Samara; massive colonies being attacked by a powerful army would definitely get Shepard's undivided attention whereas a gathering of the creatures Samara is sworn to destroy in one secluded area would be her obvious motivation."
"You guys do realize none of what you're saying is making me feel any better about this situation, right?" snorted Joker, he too had been thinking this all seemed to coincidental, even Samara's arrival seemed planned.
"I think Tali's right," said Hannah speaking calmly despite her concern that her daughter's friends were right about this being a trap, "Jackie probably knows she's being set up and is coming up with a plan to counteract what's being cooked up."
"Do you think it's Samara who's planned this?" asked Kasumi, "I found nothing when I went through her messages, but I mean, you never know . . ."
"Wait, you went through her messages, why?" asked Joker, spinning around to face Kasumi, not exactly surprised since she went through everyone's underwear drawer, he was more concerned that she had gone through a trusted friend's messages seemingly without a decent reason.
"Of course," said Kasumi, taken aback, "Shep asked me to when Samara first came back on board, after she asked Liara to recheck the intel she had gotten from her source."
"I don't remember that conversation," said Joker, raising an eyebrow at the master thief.
"Just because you don't remember it happening doesn't mean it didn't happen," said Kasumi, a wicked smile on her face, Joker decided not to ask her what else she knew.
Elissa's voice echoed through the cockpit, "Oh my God."
The crew turned their attention to the screens though they immediately wished they had not done so, the entire room was filled with piles of dead bodies, many looked to be Asari though there were Hanar, Turian, human, and even Salarian.
"What the hell happened here?" asked Garrus as he crouched down closer to one of the bodies in order to examine it closer, "There are no ligature marks, no signs of a struggle, the bodies are completely clean."
"These are the unlucky victims of the Ardat-Yakshi," said Samara, her tone suggesting she was about to say 'I told you so.'
"Why? Why would they kill so many people?" asked Elissa, horrified at the tragic scene in front of her.
"When an Ardat-Yakshi is first discovered, it is usually before they first experience sexual intercourse," said Samara, sidestepping a body as she followed Elissa down a narrow path made down the center of the room, Garrus and Miranda staying behind to collect information, "If she remains undiscovered and has intercourse with another, she will become addicted to the high produced by the kill, and want to continue doing so. Sex and the murdering of the partner for an Ardat-Yakshi works the same as drugs and performance enhancing steroids on a human being."
"So they become addicted to killing and the high makes them a better killer as a result," summarized Elissa, her tone hard, "Is that what you're trying to say?"
"More or less so," said Samara, "Remaldia is trying to hone these skills in the Ardat-Yakshi in her army, that is why there are so many dead. Do you still think they are worth saving, Shepard?"
Elissa sighed heavily, "You're really starting to piss me off, Samara."
"I apologize, Shepard, that was not my intention," said Samara quietly as they stood by the exit, waiting for Garrus and Miranda to catch up with them before proceeding into the next room, thankfully there were not any bodies in this one.
"Keelah," whispered Tali, sitting down slowly, the shock overwhelming her. Hannah sat down next to her, wrapping her arms around Tali, hugging her close trying her best to comfort the young Quarian.
Joker had buried his face in his hands at some point, the body count was far too high and he could tell they had been unwilling victims in the Ardat-Yakshi training session, "How . . . why . . . God, why?"
"You never get used to seeing dead bodies, especially those of innocents," said Jacob quietly, "When this is over, we should try to find out who those poor bastards were and get their bodies shipped home."
"I agree," said Liara, tears rolling down her cheeks, "I can't believe someone could have done something as disgusting and vile as murdering people for the sake of making a powerful army." Liara suddenly hissed, a sharp pain shooting up her spine, she tried to move herself into a more comfortable position but that did not alleviate the pain instead it made it much worse.
Joker noticed Liara's sharp breath and the pain written all over her face, "Are you in labor? Do you need us to get Chakwas?"
"No, I'm not in labor," said Liara breathlessly, "but you should get Chakwas, I'm not sure why my I'm feeling this way."
Joker reached for the comm button when he heard running footsteps, spinning around he saw Chakwas sprinting through the CIC and was in the cockpit in almost no time, "Hey, Doc, we were just about to call you, Liara—"
"There's something wrong with Falere," wheezed Chakwas, she was bent over with her hands on her knees trying to catch her breath before continuing.
"What's wrong with her?" asked Kasumi.
"Her wounds . . . are healing much faster . . . than they should be," said Chakwas, managing to catch her breath, "Not even normal Asari heal this fast."
"This sounds like something we need to check out," said Jacob, standing up, "Liara, you stay here with Joker; EDI, Kasumi, Hannah, Tali, you're with me; Chakwas, I suggest you wait a few minutes before following after us."
"You don't seriously think . . .?" asked Joker cautiously.
"I don't know what to think," sighed Jacob, "but if something's wrong, we should look into it, even if it's minor."
"Yeah, we don't need another Collector incident," scoffed Joker, "You should find James, I don't think he'd forgive us if we left him out of the fun."
Jacob laughed, "You have a point there, we'll be back shortly, c'mon everyone."
The women stood up and followed Jacob out of the cockpit, and Joker watched them go, a sense of dread creeping up on him.
"I have a really bad feeling about this," whispered Joker as he turned back to the console, bringing up the feed from the medbay along with the feed from the ground team's armor, he wanted to make sure if there was any problem he would be there to see it and possibly do something to help before it was too late.
23. And Hand Grenades
**A/N: *phew* Finally have it done, thanks for the patience everyone, this has been a crazy month. I hope this lives up to your expectations, again I apologize for the delay, you all are amazing. :)**
* * *
Joker felt torn, while he wanted to watch Elissa as she traveled through the facility he knew he also needed to keep an eye on the group going to the medbay, _'God, why? Why did this have to happen?'_ he thought as he maximized the screen with feed from the medbay.
"Joker, we'll make it through this," said Liara, as if reading his mind, "Lisa won't let anything happen to us, or to the ship, you know that."
"I know," groaned Joker, he then turned his eyes back to the screen and watched as the group entered, guns raised at Falere who was laying on one of the beds. She was hooked up to monitors for her heart and breathing rate, she was also wearing a clear mask over her mouth and nose, to everyone around she looked harmless.
"Chakwas," said Jacob, lowering his pistol, "What exactly is wrong with Falere that concerns you? From what I see, she seems to be fine."
"Do you see this small scar?" asked Chakwas and the group nodded, "It used to run from her wrist to her elbow and was three inches wide." She brought up a picture of it on her omni-tool and everyone looked before raising their guns once again.
"What do we do?" asked Tali.
"I'm not sure," admitted Chakwas, "I'm truly at a loss, I have never seen an Asari body react like this, and although Ardat-Yakshi are powerful, from my research it's only their reproductive abilities that are hindered by their mutation. Perhaps there is another reason for her rapid health regeneration."
"What's that?" asked Hannah indicating with her pistol a soft glow coming from behind Falere's head.
Chakwas gingerly raised Falere's head, careful not to disturb the tubes or wires and her eyes went wide, "There's something wedged in her neck, at the base of the occipital bone, just above her spine."
Tali looked over and gasped, "That looks like what the Leviathan used to control those miners, though it's a lot smaller."
"So this is some kind of mind control device?" asked Chakwas as she placed Falere's head back on the pillow, "Can it be removed?"
"We've encountered those artifacts before, but not with Asari being involved," said Jacob, looking over as well, "we were able to stop the original devices by blowing them up, but since this one is so much smaller and attached to Falere, I doubt it can be removed easily. I think we should radio Shepard, let her know this situation just got a lot worse."
"What should we do about Falere?" asked Tali, "I mean, what's keeping her from waking up and killing us all?"
"Thanks for the comforting thought, Tali," said Kasumi sarcastically.
"I believe it is the anesthesia that is preventing Falere from awakening," replied EDI, "however, my scans indicate that with her body repairing itself as it is, she will more than likely overcome the effects of the anesthesia and what will happen from there is unknown."
"Comforting," sighed Jacob, "Either way, we need to inform Shepard that indoctrination is at work here, EDI that'll be your responsibility. Kasumi, you go and find James, we need all of the muscle and firepower we can get if Falere becomes what I think she'll become."
"What do you think she'll become?" asked Hannah, never having encountered a situation like this one.
"When the Reapers indoctrinated the Asari before, including the Ardat-Yakshi, they became these creatures called Banshees" said Tali, a chill running down her spine as she remembered the horrible noise those creatures made.
"Sounds pleasant," snorted Hannah, convinced now that her daughter needed to get back on the ship as soon as possible.
"EDI, Kasumi, you have your assignments," said Jacob sternly, "The rest of us will remain here and guard Falere, if anything happens the priority is protecting the ship."
"You guys know I can message Shepard and James, right?" asked Joker over the intercom, slightly amused.
"Sorry, Joker," said Hannah, smiling, "Can you please relay that message to Jackie? Oh and what's the squad's status?"
"They haven't found anymore bodies, if that's what you mean," replied Joker grimly, "They've encountered a few Commandos and a shit ton of mechs, right now they're getting ready to enter this locked room if Miranda could get the lock over ridden. Anyway, I'll tell Shepard about the crystal thing in Falere's neck and Kasumi go wake up James, he's passed out in the lounge."
"Aye, aye, Joker," said Kasumi and she ran off to the lounge to find James.
Joker chuckled to himself as he watched Kasumi run off towards the lounge, then he turned back to the monitors, his stomach in knots as he watched Elissa running towards what appeared to be the center of the facility.
* * *
"I sense that Remaldia is close," said Samara as they neared the door.
"Good," said Elissa as she looked down the hallway, "the sooner we get this over with the better we'll all be. Joker, be ready for—"
"Shepard?" said Joker, sitting up in his chair, pressing the intercom button, "Shepard? Are you there? Ellie? Elissa, please respond."
"Joker? Joker?" said Elissa, pressing her ear piece, "Come in, Joker. Damn it, Jeff answer me."
"Something wrong, Shepard?" asked Garrus as they entered the room.
"Communications are being jammed," said Elissa, "we're going to have to find the source and get rid of it, but until then we're on our own."
"So no emergency evac, I take it?" sighed Miranda.
"Not unless we get rid of the communications jam," said Elissa sharply, cocking her assault rifle, "Come on, the sooner we get to Remaldia the sooner we can get the hell out of here."
"Hear, hear," said Garrus, flexing his mandibles in a halfhearted attempt at a smile.
"Shepard," said Samara, putting her hand on Elissa's shoulder, "we need to discuss what is going to happen to the Ardat-Yakshi. I know how you operate, your main objective has always been to ensure that all survivors get out safely but we may have to face the reality that you won't be able to save everyone."
"Samara, I don't have time for this," said Elissa harshly, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it but until then, we are under the assumption that we'll be able to save everyone we can."
"An admirable idea, Shepard, but you know what humans say about assuming: it makes an ass out of you and me," said Garrus, smirking in his own way when he saw the corners of Elissa's mouth twitch in an almost smile.
"As long as it makes you look more like an ass than me, I'm okay with that," said Elissa dryly as Miranda opened the door closest to them, they entered through, Garrus and Elissa in the lead with Samara and Miranda bringing up the rear. The room was dark and from what Elissa could tell, the room was far larger than meets the eye, she turned on the light at the end of her rifle and scoped the room as best she could grateful when the other three also turned on their beams. They walked carefully to the center of the room, each sound sending a small chill of panic down Elissa's spine, she heard a hissing noise to her left, and moved to further investigate the source of the sound.
"Find anything, Shepard?" asked Garrus quietly as he watched her move further from the group, he followed her at a distance.
"I think so," said Elissa softly as she approached what appeared to be pipelines lining the wall, "It looks like gas lines of some sort, and from the sounds of it, there's a leak."
"Isn't that dangerous?" asked Garrus as he stood next to her, also examining the pipelines, "I mean, we are close to several lava pits, wouldn't the heat from the molten lava and the gas that's escaping from these pipes cause an explosion?"
"Hell, Garrus, if we fired a few shots in here we'd cause an explosion," observed Elissa, trying to determine how much time they would actually have if these pipelines did in fact become ignited.
"Why is this relevant to our mission, Shepard?" asked Samara from behind.
"Well, Samara, if we get backed into this room while taking heavy fire we might burn ourselves to a crisp trying to get out of here," said Elissa dryly.
"Point taken," sighed Samara as they headed towards a door on the far wall, "I believe if we head through this door, we should find Remaldia and her army."
"Hopefully we can find the source of our communications jam," said Miranda.
"Lets finish this," said Elissa, her Commander voice echoing in the empty room as Miranda cautiously opened the door, they entered in a single file line, Garrus leading as she followed Samara inside she found herself thinking of Joker and the _Normandy_ hoping both were safe and ready for action.
* * *
"Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me," muttered Joker angrily as he stared up at the black screens and listened to the static coming through the communications channel.
"Joker, what's happened?" asked Liara worriedly, rubbing her belly.
"Something's cut communications, I can't get in touch with Shepard or the ground team," said Joker, running tests to try and determine where the jamming signal was being sent from. "God dammit!"
"What?!" exclaimed Liara, trying to stand but Joker motioned for her to remain seated.
"The signal's coming from the planet's surface, but there's so much interference I can't get a clear position," snarled Joker, very tempted to slam his fists against his armrests though he knew it would fracture some of his bones.
"What's going on in the medbay?" asked Liara, trying to see the monitor to Joker's left, though she could not lift herself fully from the chair.
"Last I heard, Falere has some glowing rock in the back of her neck," said Joker, glancing over at the monitor, somewhat relieved to see James standing there with his personal weapon of choice.
"A what?" asked Liara, her eyebrow raised slightly, a puzzled look on her face.
"I don't know, something about Leviathan and a glowing rock on Falere's neck," said Joker though slightly gritted teeth, as much as he was worried about what might happen with Falere, he was more concerned about Elissa and how in the hell he was going to get her out of there if necessary.
"Leviathan?" repeated Liara, shock coloring her tone as she rested her head against the headrest, "I thought we they were on our side, I mean, Shepard talked them into giving war aid."
"Yeah, I read the report," said Joker as he watched the monitor, trying not to look at the black screens above his head, "I have a feeling she didn't talk to all of them. Damn, what is with everyone going rogue? I mean, first Major Asshole, now this Justicar friend of Samara's and now ancient mechanical squids? Has the galaxy gone crazy or something?"
"Who knows why, Joker," sighed Liara, "all I know is we have to watch our backs and hope that more of our friends haven't turned against us as well."
"I still can't believe what Kaidan did," said Joker quietly, turning in his chair to face Liara, he had not voiced his concerns about Kaidan's betrayal to Elissa for fear of upsetting her further, she had already taken his backstabbing more to heart than anyone else on the crew, "I mean, it just seems so unlike him, but I guess we might not have known the real Kaidan Alenko."
"And even if we asked him, how would we know if he was telling the truth?" commented Liara, "We'd need pretty compelling evidence to prove any story he told us."
"No shit," chuckled Joker and he felt his blood run cold as his eyes returned to the monitor, Falere was sitting up in the bed, everyone's gun was pointed at her.
"Falere," said Hannah calmly as everyone around her drew their weapon, she put her weapon back on her hip, holding her hands up in a stance of surrender to try and lighten the mood of the situation, "we're here to help, you need to trust us."
"No!" exclaimed Falere, here eyes glowing, all of her still unhealed injuries also emitting an unearthly glow, "You are here to stop me, and I cannot allow that!" Her voice was not the dulcet tones that they had heard before, instead it was a rough combination of her organic voice and what sounded like Leviathan's mechanical one.
"So much for that idea," mumbled Hannah as she reached for her pistol, only to be knocked on her back by biotic shot from Falere as she stood up, Hannah felt the air leave her lungs she was still alive but breathing was difficult.
"Open fire!" called Jacob, Tali, Kasumi, James, and EDI all began shooting at Falere as Jacob moved to assist Hannah, suddenly a large blast from Falere threw him, Chakwas, Hannah, and Tali through the glass of the medbay windows. They landed in the hallway, Jacob could feel some pieces of glass sticking in his arms but right now, he was far more concerned with the indoctrinated Ardat-Yakshi that was going on a rampage.
"Oh SHIT!" exclaimed Joker as he watched the monitor go black, having been destroyed in the blast, he knew he needed to get the rest of the crew to safety or at least get them away from Falere's blast zone, he opened up the comm ship-wide, "Attention Normandy crew, get your asses somewhere safe, we have a crazy Asari on the loose. I repeat, get yourselves to safety."
"Eloquently said, Joker," said Liara cooly as she adjusted herself in the chair.
"You know what, Liara, how about the next time we experience a crisis, you write the announcements?" snapped Joker as his fingers flew across the board, trying in earnest to secure the kinetic barriers in the shuttle bay, engineering, and the bridge.
"Joker, can we come in here?" asked Hadley, there were a few other crew members behind him from CIC and Joker nodded, letting them onto the bridge right before the barriers sealed them inside.
"Joker," said Jacob through his ear piece, "we just heard the kinetic barriers go up, have you gotten ahold of Shepard yet?"
"Negative," said Joker, his voice catching in his throat, "all communications, incoming and outgoing, have been cut off somehow. If we can get EDI up here, we might be able to figure out how to shut it down, hell if I can get video I'd consider it good."
"Mr. Moreau, I am always here," said EDI, through the bridge's intercom, "I will help you locate the source of the communications jam."
"Thanks, EDI," said Joker, smiling.
"Well, we kind of have a situation here," said Jacob, he had moved himself and Hannah to the nearest hallway, Chakwas and Tali were sitting beside them, "Hannah's hurt bad, and EDI's body is still in the medbay with Falere and the others, I have Chakwas and Tali with me but I'm about to send Chakwas to engineering with Hannah."
"Alright, EDI and I are going to try and get in contact with Shepard," said Joker sternly, "Joker out."
Chakwas nodded and helped Hannah stand up, Tali and Jacob provided cover fire as they moved towards the elevator door. Jacob watched as Chakwas hit the button and the elevator door slid into place, he then turned back to Falere, James and the rest were already firing at her even though they were still sitting on the floor more than likely too injured to walk.
"Aim for that thing on her neck!" shouted Jacob and he saw Kasumi and James nod, now aiming their guns at Falere's neck, unfortunately Falere heard him as well and went running past him not even stopping to fire a single biotic attack against him or Tali. He watched as she rounded the corner, heading towards the kitchen, he took advantage of the minor break as a chance to regroup with the remaining crew members.
"What the hell was that?" asked James as he stood up on shaky legs, he looked down at his arms and saw a few cuts, he could also feel blood running down his forehead.
"Falere's under the control of Leviathan," said Jacob as he helped Kasumi to her feet.
"At least she's not a Banshee," said Tali, her voice shaky but calm.
"Status report," said Jacob, "How badly are we all injured?"
"My arms are pretty scraped up, kind of like yours and I think I busted my head or it's just a cut," said James, looking down again at his arms.
"Yeah, my arms and I think my back are cut up too," said Jacob, feeling a few sharp pains in his shoulder blades, "Tali?"
"A few tears in my suit but nothing too pressing," said Tali, then she sighed, "and the glass in my helmet's cracked, wonderful."
"Kasumi?" asked Jacob.
"Bump on the head and I think a few cuts as well, I'll live," reported Kasumi, pulling her hood back over her head, "How's Hannah?"
"Don't know," sighed Jacob, "she seemed well enough to stand but she still needed help from Chakwas, I hope she's alright."
"She will be," said Tali firmly, "Now, we need to come up with a plan on how to stop Falere from destroying the crew and the _Normandy_, any ideas?"
"We haven't proven that 'shoot the neck thing' idea wrong yet," said James a smug grin on his face as he picked up his gun.
"That's true," sighed Jacob, "Okay, so what's plan B incase plan A backfires?"
"Shoot her out of the airlock?" suggested Kasumi.
"That would have worked if the airlock wasn't on the floor above us," said Jacob, "I don't know about you but I really don't want to be in an enclosed space with that thing."
"Agreed," said Tali, "What if we pushed her towards the main battery? Then we could manually open the hatch underneath the cannon and she's forced out that way."
"I guess that could work," said Jacob warily, "The only problem is we don't have our helmets and if we aren't pulled in with Falere, we'd be killed anyway from the lack of oxygen."
"Damn," said Tali bitterly, "Wait! What if Kasumi goes to the crew quarters and gets some spare helmets?"
"I guess it could work," said James thoughtfully, "If Kasumi's sure she can do it."
"Child's play," said Kasumi smugly and she activated her cloaking device, "I'll be back in a few, just keep Falere occupied while I'm gone."
"Can do," said Jacob, chuckling as they heard her walk away.
"Alright, I guess we have an Ardat-Yakshi to distract," said Jacob, pulling his gun up off the floor.
"Wait, where's EDI?" asked Tali, they all looked around and saw a devastating scene, EDI's body was mangled. The blast had ripped open her chest and exposed the wires and circuits on the inside, her head was barely hanging on to her neck, her legs were both at odd angles and her arms were wrapped up in wires that had fallen from the ceiling as a result of the blast.
"EDI!" exclaimed Tali, rushing over to the AI's side, "Are you alright? Speak to me."
"Admiral Zorah, you are aware that I am still here," said EDI, her orb self popping up at its usual station in the medbay, "It is just my mobile form that has been destroyed."
"Oh, right," said Tali bashfully, "I forgot that you're actually the ship, guess I've gotten used to seeing you walk around like the rest of the crew."
"I am pleased to know that my mobile platform will be missed," said EDI almost cheerfully, "Lieutenant Taylor, I have located Falere's position, she is currently standing in the center of the mess hall with chairs and tables floating around her in a type of gravitational pull."
"So now she has projectiles," sighed James, "Great, how do you stop something like this?"
"I guess now we have to make sure she doesn't fire those projectiles at us while we fire at her" said Tali, checking her thermal clip, "I don't have enough ammo for a long fight."
James checked his own clip, "Neither do I, what about you, Jacob?"
Jacob sighed, "Not even close to enough."
"Too far away from the armory to get anymore, so I guess we make our stand here," said James, clicking his thermal clip back into place, "Is Kasumi back yet?"
"Speak of the Devil and he shall appear," said Kasumi, four masks in her hands, she passed them out, "I wasn't sure if your helmet would hold, so I brought you a mask as well, Tali."
"Thank you, Kasumi," said Tali, looking at the mask that would only cover her nose and mouth, "I'll put it on before we head to the battery."
"Whatever floats your boat, Sparky," teased James as he put his mask on over his mouth, "Should we get this started?"
"Yeah," said Jacob, putting his mask on, "I hope Shepard's having better luck than we are right now."
* * *
"Do you think we're close to finding Remaldia?" asked Miranda as they walked into a very warm, very bright room. Elissa closed her eyes, the change from a room that was pitch black to a room that had a fair amount of light was extremely painful for her eyes to adjust to immediately.
"Well, well, well," said a voice, the voice echoed throughout the large room.
"Yeah, I think we're close, Miranda," said Elissa cooly, she was grateful when her eyes stopped hurting and she was able to open them again, when she did she could see that they were surrounded save for the small space around the door they had just entered from. There were young Asari all around them, the only separation they had between them was a few large metal crates that were stacked together in a barrier type of structure. Her eyes scanned the rest of the scene, there were rafters and beams above, the walls after a few feet were made of earth, beneath their feet was a small stretch of floor that connected the walls of the room and lava filled in the rest.
"Remaldia," said Samara, her tone calm yet still full of malice, "Why have you done this? You know this goes against everything we stand for."
Elissa looked up to a platform across the room, she could see a tall and willowy Asari woman pacing across the metal platform, her heels making small clicking noises as she walked.
Remaldia laughed sending an eerie chill down Elissa's spine, "These are desperate times, Justicar, we can not pick and choose our allies as you are already aware. Working with a Spectre? Least of all, a human Spectre. My, my, we have gotten desperate haven't we?"
"Shepard as an ally is far more impressive than an army of Ardat-Yakshi," said Samara boldly and Elissa wished she had not said that, she felt the mood in the room change instantly, now all eyes that were on them held disdain.
"How are you able to command them?" asked Elissa, finding her voice at last, "From what I've seen, Ardat-Yakshi are not the most cooperative people."
"You speak of their instability," said Remaldia, her voice eerily familiar to Elissa, "and you are right to a point, they were unstable, but I have found a way to remedy this."
"Impossible," said Samara quickly, "Ardat-Yakshi are unable to control the power that grows within them, especially after sexual intercourse, and I have already determined that you have allowed them to experience this."
"Still too smart for your own good, I see," said Remaldia, her tone softening slightly as she stared down at them, her focus mainly on Samara.
Elissa glanced at Samara, trying to silently ask her a question about her relationship with Remaldia, though by the stony face Samara was exhibiting it was difficult to say whether or not she understood what she was trying to convey.
"Why, Remaldia? Why have you broken the Code and gathered these women?" asked Samara her tone suggesting hints of melancholy.
"I have only one reason: revenge," said Remaldia, her hands clutching the railing, "Revenge against those who took my daughters away from me."
"Revenge against who exactly?" asked Elissa, her eyes darting between Remaldia and the Ardat-Yakshi that were staring them down, "The Asari race as a whole? The people at the monastery? Against the Justicars?"
"Their turn will come," said Remaldia as she resumed her pacing, "until that time comes, I want revenge against the women who killed my eldest, you Commander Shepard and the Justicar Samara."
Elissa's blood went cold, she knew now this situation was much worse and much more personal than what Samara had made it out to be, "Wait, who was your daughter?"
"You should know her name, Shepard," said Remaldia, "You assisted the Justicar in ensuring her death, you acted as bait for her lulling her into a false sense of security, her name she should be engraved in your memory like it is in mine. My daughter's name was Morinth."
"Oh shit," said Garrus quietly, he had been one of the few that had been told of Samara's plan and knew how it had ended.
Elissa realized now why Remaldia's voice sounded so familiar, it was Morinth's, she turned to Samara completely astounded at this news, "This is your bond mate? Your bond mate is the one we've been after this entire time?! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Remaldia was my bond mate, but we ceased to be so when I accepted the Code," said Samara, her face now a mask.
"How quickly you dismiss the centuries we spent together," said Remaldia bitterly, "The moment you saw what our daughters were, you threw us aside, not wanting to associate yourself with a family that would bring you shame."
"That still doesn't explain the army, Remaldia," said Elissa calmly, she could see out the corner of her eye Garrus and Miranda getting themselves into a prime position.
"When my daughters were found to be Ardat-Yakshi, Samara went to her friend Councilor Tevos and asked what should be done," said Remaldia, a small grin on her face, Elissa could tell she enjoyed regaling this story, "We were given a choice, either they go and live in the monastery on Lessus or they will be executed on the spot, Falere and Rila chose to go to the monastery as you well know Commander. Morinth ran away and Samara followed her, claiming she needed to be stopped because of her abilities and the Asari people agreed but I saw what others failed to see in my daughters and in other Ardat-Yakshi, that they have gifts which should be embraced instead of hidden away. I realized their full potential after watching Morinth over the years, and seeing what she had done with her abilities. I became a Justicar so I could track her down without restrictions and ask her to come home and join me in uniting the other Ardat-Yakshi. Before I could, however, Samara found her first and you assisted in killing her. Now, I have completed my goal of uniting the Ardat-Yakshi in even bigger ways than I could have ever imagined possible."
"What do you mean?" asked Elissa, her heart racing.
"I found a way to control the Ardat-Yakshi through a mutual friend of ours, Commander," said Remaldia a sly grin stretching across her face.
"What mutual friend?" asked Elissa, her brow furrowing.
"Leviathan," said Remaldia, a satisfied air about her now, "They might have agreed to assist you in the war but they had long ago agreed to assist me in my ambitions."
"Why would Leviathan agree to help you?" asked Garrus harshly.
"It recognized the potential, as I have," said Remaldia, smiling down at the Ardat-Yakshi below her, "It has given me the ability to control the Ardat-Yakshi with unyielding obedience."
"How?" asked Samara, "Ardat-Yakshi have never been known to bend to the will of another except through . . . indoctrination."
Remaldia's smile became even larger, "Excellently deduced, Justicar, yes it is through indoctrination that I am able to command some of the more strong willed Ardat-Yakshi, the others obey me as I have told them of their gifts and how to use them effectively. They enjoy the power and freedom I have given them, so they obey me to maintain this."
"Why did you take the dead bodies of the Ardat-Yakshi that resisted?" asked Elissa though in her mind she had a feeling she already knew the answer.
"Amazingly enough, the Leviathan's gift allows even the dead to obey me," said Remaldia pointing to a small group at the rear, "These girls were the ones who resisted my offer, though as you can see, it did not do them much good."
"What about Falere?" asked Elissa, sensing that an attack was about to happen soon and wanting to know all of the answers to her questions.
"I left her body behind as a gift to Samara and to your crew, Commander," said Remaldia.
Elissa felt her blood boil, "She's indoctrinated isn't she?"
"As a matter of fact, she is," said Remaldia, "And she should be awake right about now."
"What did you tell her to do?" asked Elissa darkly, cocking her gun audibly.
"Kill anyone who resists," said Remaldia in a low voice and the Ardat-Yakshi began firing at them, Elissa and Garrus dove for the closest barrier, Miranda and Samara across from the behind the second barrier. Samara and Miranda immediately brought up a large force shield around their section of the room, blocking all incoming biotic shots but allowing for gun shots to be fired to the outside area.
"Do you think they're alright on the _Normandy_?" asked Elissa as she began firing at the nearest Ardat-Yakshi.
"It's our crew, Shepard, have a little faith," said Garrus over the commotion, "I'm sure they're fine, we just need to get the hell off of this rock first."
* * *
"Shit, she's tougher than she looks!" called James as he dove behind a knocked over table, firing a few well placed shots at Falere's outstretched hands, blowing off a couple of her fingers.
"James!" shouted Kasumi, appalled that James had shot off some of Falere's fingers, "We're trying to save her not maim her!"
"Can't be helped, Shadow!" called James as another chair came flying at him.
"Shadow?" asked Jacob as he fired at Falere, missing his initial target but hitting her shoulder instead.
"Just thought of it," said James as he was joined by Tali, "Okay, I really think we need to start aiming for her head!"
"Affirmative!" shouted Jacob and Kasumi appeared next to him.
"Maybe I could try to get that thing on her neck," said Kasumi, activating her cloaking device, "If we can get that, maybe we can still save her life."
"It's better than our plan B at this point," said James as he reloaded his gun with what remaining ammunition he had left, "We really need to think of something, we're running out of bullets."
"Keep her busy," said Kasumi, though her voice was now coming from behind Tali, "I need her completely distracted while I do this, if she suspects for a second that I'm close, she'll more than likely kill me."
James gulped as he fired another shot at Falere's leg, "Please, Shadow, don't say shit like that."
"Don't worry, big guy, I have no intention of dying today," said Kasumi and her tone suggested that she was smiling.
"What if this kills Falere?" asked Tali, as she loaded her pistol, "I mean, it is her neck after all."
"It probably will," said Jacob grimly, "but it's better than the alternative, and if it brings her peace, then so be it."
"I can't agree with you more," said Kasumi, "I'm ready to go when you all are."
"How many bullets do you have in your gun?" asked James, pulling five more out from his pocket he was not aware he had until that moment.
"Three, more than enough if this works," said Kasumi confidently, "Alright, keep her distracted, and I'll see you on the other side."
Everyone nodded as they resumed heavy fire on Falere, she started firing more biotic shots their way, each one getting more and more powerful Jacob knew it was only a matter of time before her powers became enough to do some serious damage to the hull of the ship.
"Come on, Kasumi," said Jacob quietly as he put the last of his ammunition into his rifle, "Don't let us down now, girl."
"Jacob, I'm down to my last bullet," called James as a metal table came flying at his head, barely missing his forehead by inches.
"God dammit," muttered Jacob, tossing his remaining bullets across the gap to James, "make them count, Vega."
"You know I will," said James smiling as he loaded his gun once again.
"Kasumi just fired her first shot," reported Tali, she had been watching for the tell tale shimmer of Kasumi's cloaking device and then saw the bullet speeding away from her gun.
"Guess it didn't work," said James dejectedly, "Keep firing!"
They continued to fire, Tali managing a few torso shots while James shot out her right hand, although it was gory there was a benefit.
"One less biotic weapon to worry about," observed Jacob as Falere screamed out in agony.
"Kasumi better fire that damn shot and fast," said Tali as she put her last clip in her pistol.
"Look!" called Jacob and they saw Kasumi emerge from under her cloak, walking up behind Falere and putting the gun directly on the control device and fired her second bullet. From where they were sitting Jacob, Tali, and James could hear the shattering of the device and watched in horror as the power that kept Falere alive drained away, leaving nothing but a hollow corpse behind.
"Holy shit," whistled James as he carefully stood up from behind the table, "I thought . . . oh my God, Shadow . . . good job."
"I don't think I've ever seen you speechless before, James," said Kasumi as she wiped Falere's blood from her face.
"Damn, Kasumi," said Jacob, just as surprised as James, "I guess plan 'shoot the neck thing' actually worked thanks to you."
"Keelah, I'm glad we didn't have to space her," said Tali, shuddering as she too emerged from behind the barrier.
"No one, no matter what they've turned into, deserves that death," said Kasumi grimly as she looked down at Falere's body, it was riddled with numerous bullet wounds yet she had still been able to stand and fight, "Why do you think that worked? I mean, look at some of the shots we got in, she should've been dead ten different times."
"Remember that rapid healing process Chakwas mentioned?" said Tali, also looking at Falere's body, "I think that's what kept her alive so long, Leviathan must've been keeping her physical form alive and when Kasumi shattered the thing on her neck, it broke the connection and allowed her to die."
"Either way, it stopped her," said James, wiping blood away from his eyes, "What should we do with her body?"
"That's for Samara and Shepard to decide," said Jacob, "Until they return, we should probably take the shards of that mind control device and put them in the lab and wrap Falere's body in a blanket and put it in the life support room. If she's not really dead, I want to minimize the access she has to the rest of the ship."
"Tali and I can gather the pieces if James will wrap up her body," suggested Kasumi, already picking up the tiny pieces.
"Here, put them in this," said Tali, producing a leather pouch from one of her many pockets.
"Much appreciated," said Kasumi as she placed the shards in the pouch.
"Tell Joker we're secure down here," said James as he searched around for a blanket, determining that he would have to go to the crew's quarters and find one there.
"Hey Joker," said Jacob through his ear piece, "Falere's been taken down, we need a clean up crew down here asap. How's everything going on your end?"
"Traynor, EDI, and I are still trying to get through all of the static but we do have a fuzzy picture right now," said Joker, his voice tight as he spoke, "I'll send the clean up crew, just give me a few to take down the kinetic barriers."
"Roger that, Joker," said Jacob, "Over and out." He stood there in the mess, the kitchen was the only thing left standing, everything else was destroyed, there were even chunks missing from the walls from where the tables and chairs hit before landing. _'Shepard, I hope you're doing as well as we have,'_ thought Jacob as he started picking up the knocked over furniture.
* * *
Elissa fired a perfect head shot at the nearest Ardat-Yakshi, and she went down quickly but when she tried it on the next one, she remained standing as if nothing had hit her at all.
"What the hell?" muttered Elissa as she reloaded her assault rifle, "Why didn't she fall?"
"I don't know, Shepard," said Garrus as he sniped an Ardat-Yakshi who was standing in the rear of the group, "but I have a feeling this isn't going to be easy."
Elissa instinctively flinched as a large ball of biotic energy came straight for her, luckily the barrier Miranda and Samara had created was still standing, protecting them not only from the Ardat-Yakshi attacks but also from the falling debris.
"Shepard," called Miranda, from what Elissa could see she looked exhausted and about to pass out, it must have been pure determination and stubbornness that was keeping her from falling over, "I've been watching where some of the shots from the Ardat-Yakshi have been rebounding, the structure of this building isn't indefinite, a few more powerful shots and—"
She was cut off when a rumbling was felt underneath their feet, the entire room seemed to be shaking as rafters fell from the ceiling, taking down a few Ardat-Yakshi in the process.
"Please tell me that's not what I think it is," said Elissa worriedly.
"Volcanic eruption!" shouted Miranda, "We need to get out of here!"
"What about them?" asked Elissa, pointing to the Ardat-Yakshi and Remaldia who was now running around her platform in a panic, she stood up from behind the metal crate barrier ready to charge in and save a few of the girls from the horrible fate she knew would befall them.
"It's too late, Shepard," said Garrus calmly, putting his arm on her shoulder to keep her from bolting, "We have to get out of here, it's either us or no one."
Elissa looked at the faces of the indoctrinated Ardat-Yakshi, as much as she wanted to save them, she knew it would be a suicide run, closing her eyes and steeling her heart she looked to Samara and Miranda, "Keep the barrier up until we get through the door, we'll all walk together and get out but we need that shield!"
"Roger that, Commander," said Miranda, she seemed renewed in her efforts to maintain the force shield and started walking backwards with Samara falling into step beside her. Garrus and Shepard started walking as well, firing at as many Ardat-Yakshi as they could, Elissa was determined to at least save as many girls from the fiery death that awaited them. Elissa felt the cold metal of the door against her head and she reached for the handle, fumbling with it until she heard the satisfying click of door as it opened, Garrus slipped through the door as she continued to fire at the encroaching Asari.
"Go, Miranda!" commanded Elissa and she motioned with her rifle for Miranda to go through the door. Miranda nodded and walked through, leaving Samara and Elissa in the room with the army surrounding them.
"On three, Samara," said Elissa as she felled another Ardat-Yakshi, "One . . . two . . . three!" On three Samara brought the force shield down and almost at the same time dove through the door with Elissa, both women landing on the metal floor, and before Elissa could blink she heard the large metal door shut behind them.
Garrus bolted the door shut and ran over to Elissa, helping her to her feet and handing her rifle back to her, "Can you walk?"
Elissa nodded and looked at Miranda, she was practically dead on her feet, "Get Miranda, I don't think she'll last much longer."
Garrus sprinted over and put her arm around his neck and wrapped his other arm around her waist, supporting her as best he could, "Lets go!"
Samara and Elissa sprinted ahead, which proved difficult as the entire facility was now shaking violently as the impending eruption made its presence known, they managed to get to the exit just as they heard a large crack.
"Go! Go!" shouted Elissa as she put on her helmet and opened the door, Samara running out after she quickly put her helmet back on. Elissa closed the door until Garrus got closer to the exit, he was maneuvering the best he could with Miranda clinging to him, she handed them their helmets and they put them on, Garrus nodding when they were ready and she opened the door, all three of them rushing out. Elissa barely had the door closed when the earth beneath their feet began to shake and she fell backwards but managed to land on her side, she scrambled to her feet and followed the others across the narrow strip of land, she was just about to try and radio Steve when she saw the shuttle sitting there already.
Elissa smiled as they continued running towards the shuttle, as they neared the door it opened and she watched as Samara leapt in and helped Garrus get Miranda into the shuttle, Elissa jumping in just as they heard the facility behind them explode.
"Get us fucking airborne!" shouted Elissa as soon as Steve closed the door and Steve did not need to be told twice, he quickly punched in the take off sequence and they were off the ground before the lava made it to the landing area.
"Do we have contact with the _Normandy_?" asked Garrus as he stood behind Elissa and Steve.
"Nothing yet," said Steve, as he maneuvered them around a blast of lava, "I've been trying like crazy, but nothing so far."
"Shit," muttered Garrus as he sat down.
"Lisa," groaned Miranda, propping herself up on her elbow, "We need to get off of this planet, some volcanic explosions can set off chains, and if what EDI said was true we could be looking at blasts that could even hit us from up here."
Elissa silently cursed in her head, the stream of profanity too long and great to be spoken aloud, "Can't something just go according to plan, just once? Is that too much to ask for?"
"When you're concerned, yes it is," said Garrus, throwing her a smirk.
"Brace yourselves!" shouted Steve as he made a sharp right turn in order to avoid a column of lava. Garrus and Elissa were thrown against the wall and they scrambled to get into a seat, Samara helping Miranda into one before harnessing herself. Elissa watched helplessly. through the windshield as another column of lava shot up in front of them.
* * *
Joker started another sequence to try and regain communications with the ground party, he had tried nearly every one he knew, his desperation growing as he watched the static images on the monitors overhead. He was glad when he saw Elissa get out of the room full of Ardat-Yakshi but her pace was what worried him, she was moving too fast for a simple retreat, something more was happening. Joker watched as the entrance to the facility came into view, he knew that much by how much slower Elissa was moving, a wave of relief watching over him as they left and he could tell even at this distance that the shuttle was there even if it was just a fuzzy blur. He held his breath when the screens went black for a few seconds for a unknown reasons, he wanted to scream and cry out but he knew it would be for nothing if what he thought had happened actually had.
"Joker!" said Samantha triumphantly, "I've regained communications!"
Joker nearly jumped out of his seat and he pressed the button quickly, not even caring if he fractured his finger in the process.
"Steve! Do you copy?!" said Joker in a slightly manic voice, "Come in Normandy shuttle! Do you copy?! Come in anyone!"
"Joker!" said Steve his voice ringing loud and clear in the cockpit, "We need an emergency evac now!"
"Roger that, Steve." said Joker, "Is Shepard and the ground team with you?"
"Yes," said Elissa, her voice coming in through his private channel, "Yes, Jeff, I'm here."
"Elissa?!" exclaimed Joker, almost crying out of relief, "Oh thank God. I'll be right there, just keep an eye out for a sleek and magnificent ship with a sexy pilot to match headed towards you."
Elissa laughed and he felt his face crack into a huge grin, "Will do, Jeff, see you soon."
_'She's alive, she's alive,'_ thought Joker as he started the sequence for the emergency evacuation, he played this mantra in his head as he flew at top speed to the planet, glad to see the shuttle was about to exit the atmosphere. He slowed down as they neared each other, the hatch door opening and he watched as the shuttle glided right into the shuttle bay and he closed the hatch. Before heading down there himself, he activated the Normandy's FTL drive, his hands shaking with so much excitement he almost could not hit the right buttons.
"EDI, take over," said Joker, jumping from his seat, "I'll be back later, right now, I need to see Shepard with my own eyes."
"Of course, Jeff," said EDI the orb.
Joker looked at the orb and smiled, as grateful and curious as he was about EDI's attitude, his desire to hold Elissa in his arms again was more and he ran as fast as his legs would carry him down the CIC and into the elevator. With still trembling hands, he pushed the button for the shuttle bay, eager and relieved that he would be able to greet the woman he loved yet again.
End file.
| fanfiction |
Does the van der Waals equation remain valid when repulsive intermolecular forces dominate?
The van der Waals equation for a real gas is:
$$RT =\left(p+\frac{a}{V\_\mathrm{m}^2}\right)(V\_\mathrm{m}-b)$$
We have understood this formula by saying that $a$ is the term which is for force of attraction between the gas molecules and thus the pressure of a real gas will be less than that of an ideal gas.
Therefore some factor must be added to the pressure of a real gas to make it equal to ideal gas pressure so that it can be used in $p\_\mathrm{ideal}V\_{\mathrm{ideal}}= nRT$.
Also, if we see the compressibility factor graph , suppose for $\ce{N2}$:
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/hm1Da.gif)
(Source: [TutorVista](http://image.tutorvista.com/content/matter-states/compressibility-factor--function-p.gif))
If $Z < 1$, then attractive forces are dominating. We see that after a particular temperature, the value of $Z$ becomes greater than $1$, implying that the repulsion forces are dominating in $\ce{N2}$.
Now, since repulsive force dominates, the pressure of the real gas will increase and be greater than that in ideal case.
To find the $p\_{\mathrm{ideal}}$ now, we will need to deduct some value from the $p$ of real gas, which means $a$ should be negative. However, this is not so as $a$ can never be negative.
No value can ever be deducted from $p$ in the van der Waals equation.
Then how does the van der Waals equation still work and give the correct data?
You need to consider the $b$ term, as well as $a$.
Rearranging the van der Waals equation to solve for $p$ gives
$$p = \frac{RT}{V\_\mathrm{m} - b} - \frac{a}{V\_\mathrm{m}^2}$$
You are right that a positive $a$ will always decrease the pressure, compared to the ideal gas result.
But a positive $b$ will act to *increase* the pressure compared to the ideal gas result.
At high pressures (small molar volumes), the effect from finite molecular volume ($b$) outweighs the effect of intermolecular attraction ($a$).
| stackexchange/chemistry |
This time lapse video shows the HMF team installing a 145m2 mezzanine office space with partitioning, suspended ceilings, flooring, lighting, emergency lighting and a small kitchen.
The installation was commissioned by Ionoptika Ltd; a specialist ion beam technology company based in Chandler's Ford, Hampshire.
Ionoptika were looking to move to new premises with additional space for their operations & requested HMF put forward a proposal for a new mezzanine office & general refurbishment of the existing building.
The works were to include an ultra slimline mezzanine floor due to the roof height of the building being quite low. HMF designed a thin steel joist mezzanine which still enabled a 1 hour suspended ceiling to be fitted underneath. This had a service void within the ceiling which enabled mechanical & electrical services to be encapsulated whilst maintaining the future flexibility of access to the complete underside of the mezzanine for future modifications to mechanical/electrical services.
HMF also provided demountable glazed partitioning & drylining to the new mezzanine office.
HMF undertook the complete refurbishment of the existing building including building works, air conditioning, lighting & power systems for the new operation.
HMF provided energy efficient lighting including flat panelled LED recessed modular lighting to below the mezzanine floor to again maximise the headroom below the floor. Tape & jointing & decoration works were undertaken to finish off the look of the areas giving a most pleasant office environment for Ionoptika's team.
The works were started ahead of the original agreed programme to ensure that Ionoptika could relocate when required. This time lapse video shows the construction of the mezzanine floor which was totally pre-fabricated away from site & pre-painted prior to being delivered, thereby not requiring any hot works or welding on site & also enabling the steelwork to be erected within 4 days. A further also worked over the weekends to ensure the programme was met.
Ionoptika are now in & working in their beautiful new premises. | slim_pajama |
How Much Do Twitch Streamers Make in 2020?
The growth of popular streaming website Twitch is no joke. As of 2019, approximately 3.7 million unique streamers broadcast on Twitch every month. Over 1.2 million people are watching streams on Twitch at any given time. And throughout the day, over 15 million viewers tune in to Twitch, spending on average 95 minutes on the site per day. (source)
Some Twitch streamers have managed to capitalize on all of this interest, making it their full-time job to play games and entertain their fans. If you're wondering how much Twitch streamers can make, and how to become a full-time streamer, we'll answer those questions and more in this article.
My Friend's Story of Attempting to Become a Full-Time Twitch Streamer
I have a friend who tried to make it as a Twitch streamer. He had worked at his corporate job for a couple years, making a decent salary, but his true passion was gaming. So he quit his job and tried to make it as a streamer, giving himself one year to do so. If he failed at the end of the year, he'd go back to his job.
Now, a little info on the guy. He's really smart. Top of the class in college, well-spoken, likable, and friendly.
He also took streaming seriously, sticking to a consistent 4-hour a day schedule (during prime hours), five days a week, for at least 6 months. During the day, he'd also make YouTube videos, pumping out several videos a week.
So he wasn't your average kid who thought it'd be easy to make a living playing games. No, he took it seriously and treated it like a full-time job. And he was on a clock, so he was fully invested in making it work.
By the end of it all, here were his rough stats:
Twitch all-time views: 7,000
Twitch donations: $100
YouTube subscribers: 500
YouTube all-time views: 200,000
Assuming he made $1 per 1,000 views on YouTube, that's about $200 from YouTube and $100 off Twitch donations. I'm not sure how many Twitch subs he had or what other advertising deals he may have gotten, but let's say $500 in total.
$500 for 6 months of full-time work. In the end, he decided not to give it the full year he had allocated for himself and went back to the corporate world.
This is the reality that's often overlooked of those who try make it as a Twitch streamer. It's easy to look at guys like Ninja who are making millions of dollars playing video games and want to do the same, but you have to remember he's just one example.
The point of this story isn't to discourage anyone from attempting to make it as a full-time video game streamer, but merely to point out the other side of the story that's often ignored.
How to Make Money Off Twitch
Ok, so with that story out the way, let's get into how people actually make money off Twitch.
In order to make money from Twitch, you need to either be a Twitch Affiliate or Partner. The Affiliate program is the stepping stone towards the Partner program.
Here is the criteria if you want to join the Twitch Affiliate Program:
Obtain at least 50 followers
Receive at least 3 viewers per stream on average
Stream for at least 7 days within the last 30 days
Stream for at least 8 hours within the last 30 days
Twitch will automatically invite you to the Affiliate Program once you meet these requirements. Once you're qualified as a Twitch Affiliate, you can earn money with the subscribe button, Twitch Bits, and game sales.
While the Twitch Affiliate standards are cut and dry, the Twitch Partner requirements are a little more ambiguous. Twitch wants people who they think would be great brand representatives and have a strong, loyal following. They'll look at the following factors:
Average viewership (generally 100+ average viewers)
Stream frequency and schedule
Twitch Partners enjoy all the benefits of Affiliates plus more. They can turn on ads on streams to earn additional income, negotiate better subscription rates, improve stream quality, and enjoy various Partner perks at events. The full breakdown of Affiliates vs Partners can be seen in the chart below.
Estimated Income of Popular Twitch Streamers
According to twitchstats.net, the top 10 streamers with the most subs on Twitch are:
xqcow – 36k subs
moonmoon – 27k subs
drdisrespect – 26k subs
nickmercs – 25k subs
timthetaman – 24k subs
castro_1021 – 21k subs
lirik – 19k subs
summit1g – 18k subs
admiralbahroo – 17k subs
cohhcarnage – 17k subs
You'll notice Ninja or Tyler Blevins is notably missing from this list. That's because on August 1, 2019, Ninja started streaming on Twitch competitor Mixer instead.
How Do Twitch Streamers Make Money?
Twitch streamers can make money in a variety of different ways:
Twitch Subscriptions
Game Sales
Selling Merch
Winning Tournaments
Let's explore each of these in more detail.
Twitch subscriptions are a monthly recurring fee viewers pay to support their favorite streamers. Subs cost either $4.99, $9.99, or $24.99 per month, which is split 50/50 between Twitch and the streamer (some top streamers have a more favorable payout).
So based on the estimated Twitch stats above, we can conservatively assume that someone like xqcow makes over $1 million off of subscriptions alone (36,000 * 2.5 * 12).
When you consider subscriptions are just one source of revenue for streamers, you begin to realize just how much the top streamers can make.
What are Twitch Bits, you might be wondering? Bits are virtual currency that viewers can buy that essentially act as donations. They can be used to Cheer on someone's channel, which lets you amplify your voice in chat, or be used to buy custom emotes.
Streamers earn one cent for every Bit used on their channel.
Popular streamers will often be sponsored by one or more brands that want to get their product in front of their viewers. These contracts can vary from anything to a sponsored show to a monthly contract. Sponsorships are usually very lucrative to the streamer.
Just like on TV or YouTube, you'll notice ads during shows on Twitch. Part of this ad revenue goes directly to the streamer, paid on a per thousand viewers basis. While this usually doesn't represent a huge part of a streamer's income, it does add up pretty quickly if you have a large following.
Streamers will usually post links to their gaming setup and equipment they like to use. Every time someone clicks through those links and purchases, the streamer earns a commission. Since computer hardware and office equipment tend to be high-ticket items, this can represent a good chunk of income.
Viewers have the option of buying the game the streamer is playing. When they do so, the streamer gets a commission of 5% of the game price.
Sometimes streamers will setup a website or use a print-on-demand service that allows them to sell merchandise, like t-shirts, mugs, and hats. Creating products of their own lets them take home a larger portion of the revenue they earn compared to affiliate sales.
Of course, another income source for streamers is to win tournaments for a particular game. Many streamers got their start because they happened to be really good at a game. And with the massive prize pools of popular e-sports titles like Fortnite and Dota, this can represent a large sum of money.
Twitch streamers often have YouTube accounts where they can post highlights or other videos, which in return can be monetized from advertisements.
Patreon lets people support their favorite content creators by paying them a set amount of money every month. In return, they get special benefits from that creator based on their tier of support.
How Much Do Twitch Streamers Really Make?
Now that we've seen the different ways Twitch streamers can make money, how much do Twitch streamers actually make?
In the video below, popular Twitch streamer DisguisedToast revealed the curtain and provided a look into exactly how much he makes. At the time of the video in October 2018, he had just over 800,000 (free) followers on Twitch, 4,000 paying subscribers, and about 700,000 (free) subscribers on YouTube.
DisguisedToast claims he made over $20,000/month just in "base salary" from Twitch, broken down as follows:
$14,000/month via Twitch subscriptions
$4,000/month via Twitch ads
$2,500/month via Twitch donations
Additionally, he said that streamers earn anywhere from $0.01 to $1 per viewer per hour for sponsored streams. For him, who averaged 10,000 viewers, that means $1,000 to $10,000 per hour for a sponsored stream.
And while he didn't go into too much detail about other income, it's very likely DisguisedToast and other popular streamers make revenue off of affiliate ads, sponsored tweets/posts, partnership opportunities, and the other avenues mentioned above.
Essentially, the income you earn as a Twitch streamer will be a function of how many viewers you have. Someone like Ninja, who is the most famous streamer in the world, earns over $6 million a year according to his interview with CNBC.
How Much Does an Average Streamer Make?
You might be thinking that's great and all that Ninja makes $6 million a year, but how much money does the average streamer make?
While it's impossible to know, as Twitch doesn't provide any general stats around these figures, we can find some small streamers on reddit who have provided how much income they make streaming.
Tokki88:
After two years I'm making about minimum wage in WA for 40 hours a week. I average 45 people or so with 250-300 regulars every night now. Still running the same schedule but unlike the first year I take a day off every month or so.
Since minimum wage in WA is $12/hr, we can estimate Tokki88 makes about $2,000 a month streaming.
vflowertwitch:
In my case, I get around 100 viewers, have 384 subs (a lot of them gifted, included in that are 63 tier 3 subs, also a lot gifted) and I'm currently able to stream full-time. My total revenue from streaming for 3 months so far is $17224. That's before taxes and includes donation goals for VR/PC parts.
Griosu:
I am a female streamer with 7k followers, 100 subs and 40 viewers average. I make around 700-1k per month (donations, sub revenue, ads, etc). A friend of mine (male streamer) has maybe 300 followers, 20 viewers on average and earns around 1.5-2k per month.
SaveusAlex:
I went full time streaming 1 year ago after streaming on Twitch actively since 2012. I also balanced a full time job alongside it. Honestly, it wasn't easy. My life was wake up at 4pm, go to work for 5, get home for 12-1, stream until 7 or 8am and go to sleep for work again. I really wanted Twitch to work out so I worked hard at it. 50-60 hours a week for streaming, networking and learning in addition to my job. Even after accomplishing my goal of going full time and being able to afford my bills it's still a struggle to find the time to keep up with everything that I do (It's a minimum of 80-85 hour weeks now).
Hopefully this provides some insight into how much money an average streamer brings in. As with any new venture, don't expect to be making lots of money immediately. It can often take 6-12 months to grow your following to a point where you can start bringing in any sort of meaningful income. If money is your sole motivator, you'll likely get frustrated and quit too early.
How to Become Popular On Twitch and Make It as a Streamer
So, let's say you've read all this and are interested in streaming. How exactly do you become a successful Twitch streamer?
Have a following outside of Twitch
One of the best ways to give yourself a headstart on Twitch is if you already have a following on another platform, like YouTube, Instagram, or Facebook.
If Kylie Jenner decided tomorrow she wanted to play video games on Twitch, there's no doubt she'd have hundreds of thousands of people tuning in to watch, just like that.
Now, obviously you don't need to be Kylie Jenner or world-famous to succeed on Twitch. But if you already have an audience on another platform, definitely try to leverage that onto Twitch.
Be exceptionally good at a game
People often watch streams to get better at a game themselves. So if you're exceptionally good at a particular game, that definitely helps your chances of attracting an audience. If you can teach people how to play or explain your actions while you stream, all the better.
Along with learning from those better than them, people tune in to Twitch to be entertained. If you're not the best at a game, you can make up for lack of skills with entertainment value. Entertaining can mean a lot of different things. You can try to be funny, have great reactions, tell stories, have a great personality, or something else to keep your viewers engaged.
Be attractive
There's no doubt that being attractive helps on Twitch, just like it does in every other area of life. So hey, if you've got a great visual to look at, you can use that to your advantage.
Stand out from everyone else
Do something no one else is doing. DisguisedToast largely got his rise to fame through finding various exploits in Hearthstone and broadcasting them publicly.
What separates streamers who succeed and those who don't?
You can do all of the above and still never become a successful Twitch streamer – why? Let's take a look at what separates the top streamers from the hobbyists.
They stream consistently. They stick to a consistent streaming schedule and tend to play the same game. It's much harder to build a following when you're playing a different game frequently.
They have a long-term approach. Unless you already have a sizable following, you can't expect to grow a following on Twitch overnight. It takes months and sometimes years of consistent streaming in order to make it on Twitch.
They treat it seriously. The top streamers treat streaming as a business and work at it as if it were their full-time job. It's fine if you want to stream as a hobby, but you can't expect to do so and make a full-time living at it.
They know how to monetize. Making money off streaming isn't an easy as just turning on your webcam and playing a game. You have to know how to effectively monetize your channel, which is a rabbit hole that goes deep.
Luck. Of course, there is always an element of luck and survivorship bias when we look at those who are at the top of anything. Sometimes you're in the right spot at the right time, like if you stream an unknown game that eventually becomes popular. Or maybe a popular streamer rebroadcasts to your channel. Whatever it is, though, you still have to put in the work for luck to hit.
Hopefully this article has helped you learn how you earn money off Twitch, how much income streamers can make, and some strategies around how to become a successful streamer. If you have any additional comments or questions, feel free to leave them in the comments below.
The Definitive Best Starter Pokemon in Pokemon Sword and Shield
Top 10 Most Unpopular League of Legends (LoL) Champions
The Best Playstation (PS3, PS4, PSVR) Fitness Games
The Best PS4 Games for Kids to Play in 2020
Top 15 Best Mods for The Witcher 3 in 2020
Pokemon Sword and Shield Type Chart – Strengths and Weaknesses
7 Best USB Wireless Adapters for Gaming
The Complete List of Cats in Pokemon
Top 5 Games Like GunZ: The Duel in 2020
The Best Gaming Mouses for Fortnite
© 2021 Games Meta | GamesMeta is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. | slim_pajama |
How would I name O-methylations on sugars while retaining the sugar’s common name?
Suppose I had a monosaccharide, e.g. D-arabinose. Suppose I do a few synthetic steps with it, and end up with the compound methyl (2*S*,3*R*,4*R*)-3,5-dihydroxy-2,4-dimethoxypentanoate. (as labelled by ChemDraw. If that is not the PIN, please correct.)
However, when writing my paper/thesis/lab report, I would love to derive the base name from D-arabinose for simplicity and consistency. The monosaccharide derivatives with a carboxylic acid in place of an aldehyde are *-onic acids* so my base name would be *methyl D-arabinonate*. But how would I correctly and unambiguously label the methoxy groups?
If I used 2,4-dimethyl, that would sound like this second compound:
And if I used 2,4-dimethoxy, wouldn’t that make it this one:
Is there a trick I am missing for clearly naming the compound as above with *methyl D-arabinonate* as a base name?
It is possible to name such compounds based on retained carbohydrate names in accordance with the current version of *[Nomenclature of Organic Chemistry – IUPAC Recommendations and Preferred Names 2013 (Blue Book)](http://dx.doi.org/10.1039/9781849733069-fp001)* as follows.
>
> **P-102.5.6** Monosaccharide derivatives
>
>
> **P-102.5.6.1** *O*-Substitution
>
>
> In order to maintain the integrity of structures and take advantage of retained names to imply the absolute configuration, *O*-substitution is allowed in carbohydrate nomenclature. Substituents replacing the hydrogen atom of an alcoholic hydroxy group of a monosaccharide or monosaccharide derivative are denoted as *O*-substituents. The substitution of an anomeric hydroxy group is discussed in P-102.5.6.3.2. The *O*-locant is not repeated for multiple substitution by the same atom or group. Number locants are used as necessary to specify the positions of substituents; they are not required for compounds fully substituted by identical atoms or groups.
>
>
> **P-102.5.6.1.1** *O*-Acetyl and *O*-alkyl functionalization.
>
>
> For *O*-acyl derivatives, names with the acid component cited as a separate word ending in ‘ate’ after the monosaccharide name are preferred to names using *O*-acyl group prefixes. However when the ose ending is changed (e.g. to denote a glycosyl or an acid function having seniority over an ester) *O*-acyl prefixes are required. *O*-Alkyl derivatives are always expressed by prefixes.
>
>
>
Therefore, the name for the corrsponding D-arabinose derivative with methyl substituents replacing the hydrogen atoms of two alcoholic hydroxy group is 2,4-di-*O*-methyl-D-arabinose.
 
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Center of rotation and trajectory of a rigid body in a plane with applied *fixed* forces
This is my first question so please excuse me if my format is a bit off.
Given a 2D rigid body with forces applied to it in such a way that the angle the force vector makes with the surface of the object remains constant (think of a spaceship with fixed rockets attached to it), I have problems mapping out it's trajectory and angle it has rotated respect the starting position over a certain period of time.
The net force from the rockets applied on the centre of mass of this object is easy to calculate on a local reference solitary to said object, but given the existence of external torque, it is a reference possessed by angular acceleration, which unsettles me as I do not know if this requires any extra considerations when translating that to a general reference.
Determining the centre of rotation is also difficult, as from what I have researched, it's bound to be the centrer of mass, wherever the forces I've applied are at, although this seems unintuitive to me.
The problem as is stated is somehow ambiguous, but using some simplifications we can manage to get something: if we assume that forces don't change depending of the angle (i.e. there is no "correcting trayectory rocket" that acts depending of its orientation), and that the center of mass is fixed, then you can express net force F' and net torque T' with respect to the ship frame as functions only of time. Let's call $\theta$ the angle between the ship frame and the "ground" frame (some external frame at rest), then:
$ \frac{d^2 \theta}{dt^2} = \frac{T'(t)}{I\_0(t)}$,
where $\ I\_0$ is the moment of inertia with respect to the center of mass, posibly a function of time. you can find the angle $\theta$ by double integration and then express the force in the ground frame in terms of the force in the ship frame using the matrix rotation
$ R\_\theta = \begin{bmatrix} cos\theta & -sin\theta \\ sin\theta & cos\theta \end{bmatrix}$
Then, wrt to the ground, $ \bar{F} = R\_\theta \bar{F'} $ and $\ \bar{T} = \bar{T'} $, hence
$ \frac{d^2\bar{r}}{dt^2} = \frac{R\_\theta}{m} \bar{F'} $
In the simplest case, with $ \bar{F'}, \bar{T'}, I\_0, m $ constant, and the ship starting at rest, you get
$ \theta(t) = \frac{T}{2I\_0} t^2 $, and
$x(t) = \frac{F\_{x'}}{m} \iint cos(wt^2) dt^2 + \frac{F\_{y'}}{m} \iint sin(wt^2) dt^2 $
$y(t) = -\frac{F\_{x'}}{m} \iint sin(wt^2) dt^2 + \frac{F\_{y'}}{m} \iint cos(wt^2) dt^2 $
for $ w = \frac{T}{2I\_0} $.
Unfortunately those integrals are not doable, see [this wikipedia entry](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fresnel_integral). Interestingly, this kind of fuctions are used in freeway design, where forces between vehicles and the road at constant speed are also perpendicular to the trayectory(see [Euler spiral](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euler_spiral)).
| stackexchange/physics |
Naruto 1. Chapter 1
This story is an answer to xxfreefallangelxx Time Travel Challange. I was interested in the idea and decided to go through with it. Don't worry. My other stories will come along as well. I would like to get your guys take on this story so review after you read this chapter. Anyway, Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack. Stay Pervy!
Sage out!
* * *
Chapter 1
The sun rose slowly over the village as the inhabitants began to rise. Birds began chirping as alarms began ringing, waking people from their deep slumber, some tapping the snooze button for five more minutes of peace. However, none of them were aware of a sudden surge of power. The Ninja, however, noticed the sudden spike, but dismissed it as it vanished as quickly as it had appeared. But it wasn't just a random chakra spike, and the Hokage, the man who had earned the title of "The Professor", knew that it was a warning that a very powerful jutsu had just been unleashed. An uneasiness in his gut told him that this was going to have a very powerful impact on his village. He had no idea just how large it would impact the future. He had no way to know just how much it would be changed.
xxxxx
In a clearing, not far from the main gates of the village, four beings rose to their feet, the ground around them blackened and slightly smoking. The four began to stretch out their arms and other muscles as the sun continued to rise overhead. A few breif moment of silence passed as three of them looked to the blonde with saddened expressions. The first to speak was a young girl with short, raven colored hair.
"Are you sure about this?" She asked him softly.
"Yeah. We go through with this...everything we ever fought for...everything we ever cared for...will have been for nothing." The pink haired girl challenged.
She still was not sold on the plan.
"It has to be done. You've all seen what it becomes. A decaying husk of what it once was. It is deseased and infected." The blonde told them, popping his shoulder back into place. "We all saw how the village treated it's heros. We all saw the results of Danzo's trecheary."
A slight shiver came from the pink haired girl caught his attention.
"How they treated your sensei." The blonde said softly.
The three looked to him, gaining faith in the plan as he slapped the dirt off his pants. He looked around and sighed.
"Alright. With the help of Kyu, I got us back two weeks from the finals at the academy. So, we are now twelve years old again. Congratulations on your second passage through puberty." He said cheerily.
The others groaned at him, all remembering how horrible the first time through was. His smile vanished into that of a vetern commander as he eyed them all.
"Alright. The plan is for us to get Kakashi, Sandaime, Tsunade, and Jiraiya in on the plan. Secondary Targets are Team 8 and 10 along with Asuma and Kurenai. Tertiary objective is to get Teuchi and his daughter along with Princess Yuki, Iruka, and Suna on our side as well."
The others sat silently for a moment before the dark haired boy smirked at him.
"But dobe, isn't Suna planning on helping hebi wipe the village off the face of the planet?" He asked him.
Naruto Uzumaki smirked at his oldest friend Sasuke Uchiha, as Hinata Hyuuga and Sakura Haruno giggled at the exchanged between friends.
"Teme, I'm hurt. You know I love fucking with people's plans. Besides. The destruction of Konoha...is our mission." He finished, smile vanishing once more.
xxxxx
The three sat in the clearing as the sun took it's place high overhead, signaling noon. Naruto looked at the others and sighed.
"We are really on a lopsided mission." He muttered.
"How do you figure?" Sakura asked him.
"Simple. You, me, and Sasuke will end up on Team 7 and Hinata is going to end up on Team 8 all alone." He told her.
"Oh yeah. I guess I got so used to her on the team with us...well..." She looked to the Hyuuga apologetically.
"It's okay Sakura. I'm sure we'll figure something out." She said softly.
She wasn't keen to be on a team away from them, but they had no alternative. Or so they thought. Naruto was about to say something comforting to Hinata when Sakura shot up, a triumphant grin on her face.
"I got it all figured out. Come on! We've got some work to do." She told them, hurrying to the village.
Hinata looked at Naruto who shrugged his shoulders and the three headed off after her.
xxxxx
Naruto stood patiently by the door as he watched Sakura tear through her schoolbag, hunting for some unknown item. Hinata was laying on Sakura's bed, staring at the ceiling in sheer bordem and Sasuke was sitting in the window as they waited for Sakura to find the unknown she was looking for. They jumped about a foot at her sudden scream of triumph.
"AH HA! Found it!" She yelled, pulling out a pink note book and sitting down on the floor, flipping through pages quickly.
Naruto raised an eyebrow as he and Hinata sat in front of Sakura as she began to slow, apperantly getting close to the page she was looking for.
"Here." She said, stopping her frantic turning. "Tomorrow is the intial placement exams. They determine the peliminary team placements."
Naruto was about to interrupt her when her hand came up.
"Wait. I'm getting to it." She told him. "Naruto, if your score good enough...say a 210, you'll out score Kiba by three points and he'll replace you as dead last."
Naruto nodded his head in understanding.
"Okay. What about Shikamaru? Weren't his scores as bad as mine?"
Sakura nodded.
"Very true. But he just didn't apply himself in class. During the Intial placement and final placement exams, he did well enough to lock him in place over you and Kiba with Ino and Choji." She explained to him.
"Oh."
"Don't worry Naruto. With what you know now, you could easily topple Sasuke as number one in the class." Sakura told him smiling.
Sasuke snorted in amusement at that. It would be worth it to see everyone's faces when he was toppled by the dead last.
"But that would arose a whole lot of suspition on him." Hinata pointed out.
Naruto nodded.
"Hinata has a point. I'll just make sure I out do Kiba." He said, only to find himself in a tight hug from Hinata.
"Oh thank kami! I won't have to deal with his passes again." She breathed a sigh of relief as she let the blonde go.
"Um...okay." He shook his head as he looked at Hinata. "This saves me from having to break his face. After all, aren't you engaged to somebody?" He asked, teasing her.
She grinned.
"Maybe...in a few years. I'm a litltle young to think about settling down now."
Naruto looked at her, mocking hurt.
"After our little trip to Spring Country? I'm hurt hime. I'm truly hurt."
Hinata giggled and playfully punched him in the arm.
"Well. you'll just have to do it again. And this time, try not to trip over the log."
Naruto looked scandalized as Hinata laughed at his embarassment while Sakura put a hand over her mouth to cover her giggles. Sasuke, being his friend and bound by the man code did not laugh. On the outside at least. Naruto gave a humph and crossed his arms, muttering darkly about unfair treatment as the girls laughed harder.
xxxxx
Iruka looked over the class as they settled in their seats and immidiatly knew something was wrong. For one, he couldn't find Naruto with his orange flare of a jumpsuit. Two, he didn't hear Sakura bickering with Ino over who was better for Sasuke to sit besides, who looked annoyed and pissed since he hadn't had to put up with fangirls since his first run through this time. And three, he didn't see Hinata in her usual spot, staring at Naruto. He looked around worriedly and felt a mixture of relief and shock. Sitting in the back corner were the three in question. What shocked him was what they were wearing. Sakura was wearing a black tee with the leaf symbol over it along with a dark red skirt and black sandels. A kunai holster on both legs. Hinata was wearing a fishnet undershirt with a black tank top over it, dark blue cargo pants and dark blue sandels with a kunai holster on her right hip. Naruto himself was the most different. He was wearing a black jacket wich was unzipped, exposing his black under shirt with the uzumaki symbol in orange. He had on black cargo pants and a pair of black boots with his kunai/shuriken holster on his right leg. Iruka also noticed that each looked bored. He shook his head and looked back to the rest of the class to see them all looking at the three as well in confusion. He also caught several whispers.
"Looks like the freaks decided to get together."
"Man...the Hyuuga and the Haruno look hot like that."
"Uzumaki doesn't look half bad."
Iruka cleared his throat to get their attention as he grabbed a stack of papers. He heard several groans as they slowly realized that it was a test. Iruka smirked.
"Yes. Test time." He said, stepping around his desk, and passing out answer sheets.
"This test will help determine your placement of your teams in two weeks. The scores you get today are only part of the initial placement. You'll take a final placement exam two day before your graduation." He told them as he began passing out the test. "Do your best on the test. And who knows? Someone with the lowest over all score could take the top spot." He said, grinning.
He saw several shocked looks form the girls and knew why. Sasuke was number one in this class and even the slightest hint that he could be beaten was unthinkable. Iruka sighed. This was going to be a long day.
xxxxx
Naruto smirked as he handed in his test. He knew he'd nail a place on Hinata's team, no problem. He was just walking back to his seat when a sharp jolt of pain in his head made him wince as he returned to his seat. No one else noticed it as he sat down. As far as anyone was concerned, it appeared that he had zoned out. But Hinata, Sakura, Sasuke knew what it was...
(Naruto's mindscape)
Naruto stood before the cage as the demon stumbled to the door.
**"Oh my head. Feels like it did that time Shikaku and I had an all night binge." **He muttered, dropping onto the ground of his cage, eyes closed.
Naruto shook his head.
"Hey Kyu. You okay?" The blonde asked the fox.
Over the years, he and Kyuubi had become pretty good friends once they had come upon an agreement. And that agreement was that Naruto would allow Kyuubi the use of a blood clone. In battle, it had been invaluable with Kyuubi fighting with him. Their friendship didn't take off until the par had a spar out on training ground seven. Naruto had lost, but Kyuubi had respected his strength. The two had become close over the intervining years.
**"Yeah. I'll be fine. I'm assuming that we succeeded in returning to the past."**
"Yep."
**"And the others are still alive, including you mate?"**
"Yep."
Kyuubi nodded his head and Naruto felt his mindscape alter to that of his apartment with Kyuubi taking on Naruto's form, with some minor changes. He had nine tails and his wisker marks were darker. The Fox walked to the medicine cabnet in the bathroom while Naruto plopped down on the sofa. Kyuubi returned after a few minutes with a Tylonal bottle and a glass of water. He set them down as he plopped onto the recliner and sighed.
**"You guys had better pull this off. And before you ask, I won't be of any help. Kami has resinded my use of chakra."**
Naruto shrugged. They had knew that was a possibility.
"So we only have our own strengths to use. This is going to be just a bit harder. What?" He asked, catching Kyu's ear to ear grin.
**"I may not be able to use it, but you still have access to it."**
Naruto grinned evily.
"Oh this is gonna be fun." He muttered darkly.
Kyuubi nodded and waved him off, telling him that he needed to rest from the sudden change in his chakra abilities.
xxxxxx
Hinata, Sakura, and Sasuke weren't too happy about the recent turn of events with Naruto's furry friend. They had been counting on his help in his fox form. It would have been so much easier. But Naruto had told them that he still had acess to the chakra so it wasn't all bad. So, they started working on a plan B which would require alot more to be done on their end instead of relying on the demon. With their knowladge of the future, they knew when and where they could strike. And Naruto's brilliant mind came up with the perfect plan. They'd play the part of loyal shinobi for a while and when the perfect moment arrived, they'd strike. Naruto grinned at the sheer brilliance of the plan.
2. Chapter 2
Chapter 2 New Plan
Naruto grinned as Iruka started to go through the teams. He just had to hope that their little underhanded trickery worked and didn't backfire. He glanced at Sasuke and Sakura. They gave him a slight nod, both hoping this worked out. Naruto looked to his immidiate left and saw Hinata nervously pressing her index fingers together as she silently prayed that the plan worked and that she wouldn't have to deal with Kiba this run through. Finally, the moment of truth arrived. Iruka paused as he looked at the clipboard, slightly surprised at what he saw.
"Well, Team 7 will be comprised of Sasuke Uchiha. Sakura Haruno." He stopped as he heard several groans and knew they were from the fangirls who had wanted to be teamed with Sasuke. "And lastly Kiba Inuzuka. Your Jounin sensei is Kakashi Hatake."
Naruto looked to see the surprised and dissapointed look on Kiba's face. He had to prevent himself from laughing at his expression as Hinata elbowed him in the side while she too tried to prevent from laughing. Iruka raised an eyebrow. It was almost as if Naruto, Hinata, Sakura, and Sasuke had known this would happen. He dissmissed it as he read off Team 8.
"Team 8 will consist of Shino Aburame. Hinata Hyuuga. And...well...this is a surprise. Naruto Uzumaki. Your Jounin sensei is Kurenai Yuhi."
The rest of the teams were the same as before, leaving Iruka to congratulate them all again as he gathered up his clip board and dismiss them until after lunch at which point they needed to be back at the academy to meet with their sensei. Naruto walked over to Team 7 and gave a disgruntled Kiba a polite nod.
"Hey Sakura. Sasuke. You guys wanna join us for lunch?" He asked.
He noticed a sudden hopeful expression on Kiba's face and knew what it was. He assumed that since Naruto had said Sakura's name first and had also invited Saskue along, he was trying to win her over still. Sure enough, Kiba started to flirt with Hinata.
"So, Hinata. You doing anything later?"
Naruto knew he had quite a few options open to him, but he didn't get the chance to use them as Hinata rounded on him.
"For the last time Kiba. I will not go out with you. Not now and not ever."
"But Hinata...I'm a clan heir just like you. That'll make it so much easier to go out." He whinned.
Naruto felt his anger jump several knotches, bur just like before, Hinata acted before he did.
"What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone?!" She demanded hotly.
She looked at a confused Naruto and grinned at him as she walked over and wrapped her arms around his neck. Naruto grinned as he placed his hands on her hips. Hinata looked back over to Kiba who looked shocked at the sudden turn of events.
"Besides. I already have a boyfriend. A wonderful one at that." She said, smiling.
"Ah, Hinata-chan. Stop. You'll make me blush." Naruto teased as he leaned in.
Kiba watched as the two kissed breifly. Naruto saw his hurt look and smirked.
"Maybe next time, you won't jump to conclusions about someone Kiba. Hinata and I have been seeing each other for a while now. So, you can run along and go find some one else." Naruto told him.
Kiba began to open his mouth when Sasuke stopped him.
"Naruto's right. So, I'd suggest you not anger my friend." He warned.
Kiba blinked in surprise.
"Friend? Since when?" He asked.
"I don't have to tell you." Sasuke told him.
"Well Kiba. Guess you'd better get over it now." Sakura advised.
"And what would you know of getting over things, forehead?" A shrill voice sounded out.
Sakura sighed.
"It's simple Ino. I refuse to be pulled into an arguement about Sasuke anymore. He'll choose who he wants without my interferrance." She told the blonde girl calmly.
Ino did a double take before she walked away, giving Sakura a very suspisous look. Naruto glanced over and saw Shikamaru staring at them. Naruto knew he was trying to figure out their new atitude.
"You can stop analyzing us Shikamaru. You won't figure it out anyway."
Shikamaru frowned as he poundered Naruto's statement but filed it away for later.
"Troublesome." He muttered.
Naruto looked back at Sasuke and Sakura.
"You guys know Kakashi won't show for two hours after we're due back, right?"
Sasuke sighed.
"Yeah. Trust the Copy nin to be late to everything. He'd probably even be late to his own funeral."
Sakura laughed as Naruto smirked at Sasuke's remark since it was something that Kakashi had told them after his revival after Pein's attack. Naruto waved goodbye to them and headed out with Hinata leaving a sulking Shino to simply stay where he was.
_"How can you forget a comrade even when he's right next to you?"_
xxxxxx
Naruto leaned back in his chair as Kurenai looked over her team carefully. He knew she was sizing them up and he also knew she would be dead wrong about her conclusion about him and Hinata. Besides the fact that she never worked with Naruto in the last run through, both he and Hinata had enough skills and abilities to be even touble for all three Sannin to tackle as a team. If Sakura and Sasuke joined them, they'd be beaten easily. Kurenai apparently finished her appraisl and smiled lightly.
"Well, I have had a chance to look at all of your records and tests and I think I have a fairly acurate idea of where each of you are in skills and abilities."
_"Not likely."_ Naruto thought.
"So. I figured, we'll get to know each other. Give us your name, your likes, dislikes, hobbies, and future dreams."
Naruto sighed as he glanced at the other two.
"Fine. I'll go first. Naruto Uzumaki. I have many likes and an equal number of dislikes. My hobbies are my own and my dreams are no one's buisness but my own." He said flatly.
Kurenai frowned.
"Try again. And give real answers."
"But sen-Ow!" He was cut off by an elbow from Hinata.
He looked over at her as she gave him the "Play along and you'll be rewarded later" look. He nodded and made a mental note to cash in on that reward when he got the oppertunity.
"Fine. My name is Naruto Uzumaki. My likes are training and Hinata-chan. My dislikes are traitors and evil, corrupted villages. My hobbies including practicing my technques and...other things. My dream is to destroy the corrupt villages and to unite the Shinobi world." He said flatly.
Kurenai's eyes were wide in shock at the boy's answer and was astounded that he had such a dream.
_"Wait. Wasn't I told that he wanted to be Hokage?"_
She decided not to press the issue as she turned to the Hyuuga.
"Your turn Hinata."
The girl nodded.
"Hinata Hyuuga. I like to train and Naruto-kun. My dislikes are the same as his including arrogant individuals who believe they are superior for whatever reasons. My hobbies include medicinal training along with...stuff. My dream is to stand by Naruto-kun as he fullfils his dreams and to someday be a great konouchi and a great mother when the time comes." She finished with a blush.
Kurenai was again shocked at this answer as well, because so far, these two were nothing like she had been told or expected. She wondered if someone was messing with her. She turned to the Aburame as he simple stared at her emotionessly.
"My name is Shino Aburame. I enjoy collecting insects and practicing with my hive. My dislikes are bug sprays and bug zappers. My hobbies include training and breeding insects. My dream is to lead my clan to greater renown and prestige with in the bug user community."
_"Well, one for two. He follows what information I was given. Why don't they?" _ She thought as she looked back over Naruto and Hinata.
"Very well. Tomorrow I want you all to meet me at the Hokage tower for our first D-rank mission. Get a good night's rest. Dismissed."
xxxxxx
Hinata walked to her room and stopped when she felt a cold presance approach from behind.
"Neji. What do you want?" She asked him calmly.
"Lord Hiashi wishes to speak with you in his study. Now." He said coldly as he went on his way.
Hinata closed her eyes, calming herself before she turned and headed to Hiashi's study where the Hyuuga leader looked at her coldly. Hinata waited while he simple sat there. She knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to cause her to react to him. To show some sort of fear. But it wouldn't work. She stood tall and gave him a smile.
"Yes father?"
Hiashi was surprised, but didn't let it show. For one, her confidence was sky high now. Two, she did not react to him like he thought she would. No tremble and no stutter. But he would not allow that to sawy him from his choice today.
"You will be sparing against your sister today. You have half an hour to ready yourself." He told her.
"Very well. Make sure you have the clan medics standing by for her." Hinata said as she turned and left the room.
Hiashi was extremely shocked. This Hinata was completely one hundred and eighty degrees from the one he knew. He wondered just what the cause was.
xxxxxx
Hinata faced her little sister as Hanabi smirked at her arrogantly, certain she would win like the last five times they faced off. Hanabi was certain her older sister was weaker than her. She just had no idea that Hinata had been holding back. Hiashi looked over his daughters.
"Begin!" An elder called.
Hanabi activated her byuakugan and rushed Hinata, palm pulled back. She lashed out toward Hinata's heart. The older girl twisted away. Hanabi knew she would miss with her first attack so she followed up with another strike, aiming to where her sister would end up. Just before it connected, Hinata slowly fadded from view. Hanabi froze as she tried to understand what had just happened. Hiashi felt his eyes widened as did every elders eyes as well.
"Behind you, Hanabi." Hinata called.
Hanabi spun around and rushed Hinata again, this time unleashing a flurry of strikes that most couldn't even keep up with, but somehow, Hinata was dodging everyone of them. Hanabi screamed in rage and frustration as she failed again and again to hit her weak sister. Hiashi couldn't believe what he was seeing. He watched as Hinata flicked Hanabi in the forehead and sent the girl flying away. Hanabi rose to her feet, shakily.
"Give up now Hanabi, and you'll walk away from this. Refuse to...well...lets just say you won't walk away from this." Hinata warned her.
Hanabi glared.
"As if someone as weak as you can beat me." She hissed.
Hinata smirked.
"If I'm weak, then what does that make you since you failed to even touch me?" Hinata countered.
Hanabi screamed in rage as she charged again at Hinata.
"Foolish little sister. Your within my range." Hinata said as she lowered her body closer toward the ground.
Hanabi skidded to a stop and looked at her sister in horror.
"You wouldn't use that on your little sister, would you?" She asked Hinata.
Hinata knew that it was her attempt to make Hinata stop so she could land a KO blow on her. Hinata glared at her.
"Nice try, gaki. Eight trigrams: 128 Divine Plams!" Hinata cried out.
Hiashi stood up and felt shock course through his system as Hinata unleashed the ultimate and final form of the eight trigrams move. He knew that he had never taught that to her and wondered how she had learned it. Hinata called out hits as she struck Hanabi with blinding speed and accuracy. On the last strike, she pumped an a little bit more chakra into it than required as she struck Hanabi in the chest with a plam strike. Hanabi cried out in pain as she was hurled away from Hinata where she struck the dojo wall. Hinata felt no pitty for her as she heard her sobs of pain or the sight of her coughing up blood as the Hyuuga medics rushed over to her and began tending to her wounds. Hinata turned and faced the council who were in complete shock.
"For the record, I could have done that at anytime. I held back in each match becuase I felt I would dishonor my mother's memory if I harmed her. But at seeing what she became because of your collected arrogance, I feel no pitty for her anymore."
Hinata turned and walked away from them as they each wondered just what happened to the supposed weak heiress.
xxxxxx
(Time skip: Chunin Exams, Team 7 went to wave, mission was pretty much as was in the anime except that Sasuke defeated Haku with little effort on his part. Kiba was out cold from Sasuke 'accedentially' pushing into an oncoming hail of needles. Haku still died and so did Zabuza. Team 8 has only done D-ranks up to this point, but Kurenai has still recommended them for the exams.)
Naruto, Shino, and Hinata entered the building for the first part of the chunin exams and Naruto had to laugh as they passed the genjutsu on the second floor. They reached the third floor where they met up with Team 7. They all walked to their senseis and handed them their forms before they were admited into the waiting room. Naruto breifly clasped hands with Sasuke.
"What do you think Sasuke?" Naruto asked him quietly.
"Too easy." He replied.
Naruto glanced around.
"Think Hebi is here?"
"No. I don't think he'll show up till tomorrow."
Naruto nodded.
"True. What about part three?" Naruto asked him.
Sasuke smirked.
"To interfere or not to interfere? That truly is the question my friend."
Naruto gave him a sour look.
"I was hoping you had a suggestion."
Sasuke smiled at him.
"You'll figure it out."
Before Naruto could retort, the door to the exam room burst open and Ibiki stepped out.
"Alright maggots. Time for your test. Check for your name on the list and sit in the assigned seat. It's numbered so we will know who decided not to listen."
Naruto and the others moved to the board and looked. He was surprised to see that he was going to be sitting next to Hinata again, even though they were teammates. He shrugged and went to his chair where he was joined by Hinata moments later. The pair listened to Ibiki give them the rules about the test before he turned them to. Naruto looked at the paper and smirked. When he had first taken the test, he had freaked out because he couldn't answer a single question. Now however, he could answer them with no problem, even though this part was about gathering intel and not getting caught. He was just finishing the ninth question when he felt something fast approaching. With out looking up, he quickly reached up and grabbed the kunai that had been on course for the boy behind him. He heard several gasps and several whispered curse words. Naruto glanced at the kunai, seeing just how close to his head it was before he flung it back at Ibiki, who caught it with a sour look.
"If your gonna nail his paper to the desk, please don't send your kunai so close to my head. I'd hate to kill one of our top interogators over a misunderstanding." Naruto told him as the boy behind him was removed from the exam.
Ibiki eyed the boy with curiousity.
_"Just who are you kid?"_ Ibiki asked himself.
Hinata giggled at he exchange as she flipped her paper over after Naruto had and leaned back in her chair as Naruto simply stared at Ibiki, waiting for the next question. It was roughly twenty five minutes before he stopped them.
"Now. Pencils down. The tenth question is about to be revealed. But, before I show it to you, I must warn you. Reguardless of how many questions you have right, even if it's a passing number, if you fail this question, you fail this part of the exam." He said, looking at each of them.
The room was silent as they took this in. Most were thinking that even if they failed, there'd be a next time. But Ibiki still had plans for them.
"For those of you who are thinking you'll just try again later, forget about it. If you fail here, you will never be able to take this exam again. Meaning you'll be stuck as a genin forever." He said softly.
One boy, a cloud genin stood up and pointed at him.
"You have no power to do that."
Ibiki glared at him.
"Really? Perhaps you didn't know that procters have the power to ban those they believe will never be fit for a position from taking this exam again. If you don't believe me, tempt fate. Then we'll see who's right." Ibiki said with a smirk.
The boy looked at him uncertainly and sat down. Ibiki looked back over the crowd.
"If you feel that your career is too important to risk, you may leave. And you'll be able to test at a later date. So...who's quiting?"
The room was silent for a few moments before the hands started going into the air. Almost a quater of what remained left. Ibiki didn't know if those that left had guts or were just to stubborn to quit. Naruto wasn't about to help anyone this time around so he simply kept his mouth shut and waited along with everyone else. Ibiki took one last look around the room, grimly.
"Very well. The tenth question is...nonexsistant." He said with a smile.
The room sweat dropped as he reahed up and removed his bandanna. Most of the genin gasped at the sight. Ibiki's head was covered in scars as he looked at them seriously.
"Most of you, I'm sure, figured out that this was a test to test your information gathering skills in what seemed like an impossible situation. Everything served a purpose here, but none more so than the tenth question. It was to see if you'd push your own cares of your self aside to comeplete you mission. That's why if one quit, the whole squad was disqualified. You see, on an infiltration mission, if one is caught, the team is caught. You see these scars on my head? Each of them were earned safeguarding this village and it's secrets. I wanted to see if you could push aside your self worries. Never should you abort a mission, reguardless of what may happen to you. And you didn't. Congratulations. You all pass." He said, smiling as he replaced his bandanna.
The genin let out a sigh of relief as Ibiki picked up a nearby sheet of paper.
"Now, if you'll all just pay attention for a few more minutes, I'll-"
He never finished his sentence as a ball of fabric burst through the window, unfurling as kunai pinned it ti the ceiling and the floor, reading:
**The Forever Sexy and Tragically Single Proctor of the Second Exam: **
**Anko Mitarashi **
Ibiki poked his head around the tarp and gave Anko a look of anoyance.
"Your early...again." He said as he stepped around the tarp.
Anko glared at him before loking aound the room. She clicked her teeth as she turned back to him.
"Damn, Ibiki, there's still this many? I think your starting to slip in your old age."
Ibiki flared his nostrils as he sent her a cold look.
"Or maybe their just a tougher bunch than your class was."
"Touche, old man. Touche." She said as she turned back to the class.
"Well, I guess I'll just have to cut the numbers in half. Alright maggots! Meet me at the Forest of death!"
"That was a rather ominous statement." Naruto muttered as they followed the crazy Jounin out of the building.
3. Chapter 3
Chapter III
Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Hinata leaned casually against the fence of the Forest of Death as Anko looked at them in irritation. Why did these particular gakis think that they were hardcore? She humphed and crossed her arms before she began her speech. She grinned evily at the Genin. She placed her hands on her hips and looked over all the prospective genin as they shivered in fear from a bloodlust roar from deep within the forest.
"That's right. Here is where the second part will be located Your task is to make your way to tthe tower at the center of the forest. You mahy use whatever means nessecary. However, there is a catch." She said as she held up two scrolls barining the kanji for Heavan and Earth. "You must arrive with both a heavan and an earth scroll. This will gurantee that only half, at most will move on."
Another ear splitting roar caused several of them to take a few steps back in fear. Anko grinned.
"They call it the forest of death. And soon, you'll know why."
Naruto snorted as Anko rounded on him.
"Just give us our damn scroll and open the gates Anko-san."
Anko glared and hurled a kunai at him that he batted away with his hand. Before she could do more than hiss a few choice words at the blonde, one of the Chunin helping with the test walked over to her and handed her a clipboard.
"Your lucky gaki. If I didn't have to fill out this paperwork, I'd have your blood." She hissed as she headed off to what had to be the operations tent.
"You sure it's wise to piss her off, Naruto?" Sasuke asked him casually.
"Eh. It's okay. She won't kill me cause I reminder her too much of her childhood crush." Naruto said, smirking.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Really? So what happened?" Sakura asked.
Naruto grinned.
"Let's just say that I'm glad my first time was willingly with Hinata. The fifth from Anko was very rough."
Sasuke's jaw dropped while Sakira's eyes widened and looked like they'd never return back to their original size.
"She...she had her way with you." Sakura asked with a gasp.
"Yeah, but we were both hammered that night. Besides, Hinata took care of it the next day. Right Hinata? Hinata?" Naruto looked around for her and saw her targeting Anko with a kunai.
Naruto grabbe grabed her wrist. She turned to him with an innocent look.
"What? I was going to do anything, honest."
Naruto smirked.
"Nice try. No impaling the exam proctor with kunai. Besides, she hasn't done anything yet." He told her.
Hinata humphed and crossed her arms, the kunai back in her pouch. She reached a hand up to run it through her heair when she reminded herself that she had cut it short when she was younger.
"Ugh. I miss my hair. Someone explain to me why I have it this short?" She asked.
"Becuase we were all stupid as kids. That and, you thought that since Naruto and Sasuke were polar opposites, and that girls said that Sasuke like girls with long hair, you figured that Naruto liked short hair. Which is actually reverse. Sasuke likes short hair and Naruto likes long hair." Sakura explained.
"Oh. Yeah. I remember that reason now." She muttered.
Naruto got himself punched for the menaical laughter at everyone's reverse logic when they were kids.
xxxxxx
"B-but boss! We need this interveiw!" Konohamaru whined.
Naruto felt his headache mounting as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"No. For the final time. We will not give you and interveiw about the forest of death untill we've gone through the forest of death. Kinda makes sense, doesn't it?" Naruto asked him.
The three students mumbled about stupid olders kids and stormed off back to the Academy. Naruto shook his head and walked back to his team. He motioned for Sakura and Sasuke to come over along with Kiba. They all waited for what he had to say.
"Alright. Sakura, Sasuke, Hinata? It's time to start bringing in the others starting with Kiba and Shino. We'll meet up in the prearranged spot. Then yes, Sasuke, we wll go after hebi so you can kill him again." Naruto told a smirking Sasuke.
Kiba looked at Shino who shook his head, signifiying that he had no idea what they were talking about. Before any questions could be asked, they heard a whistle blast an knew that the test would soon commence.
xxxxxx
Naruto and Team 8 arroved at the rendevous with Team 7. The four shinobi of the future nodded and they all sat down, followed by Shino and Kiba. Their rendevous was high up in the trees meaning they were safe from interlopers.
"Alright. What is it that you have to tell us?" Kiba demanded.
Naruto looked at the others and nodded. They each stood up and flashed a few handsigns. Kiba and Shino saw a seal on each of their wrists glow brightly before each of them was enveloped in a bright light. Kiba and Shino covered their eyes as the light fadded. What they say shocked them. Naruto, Hinata, Sakura, and Sasuke were there alright, but they looked older. Sasuke had a scar that ran down the right side of his face from his temple to his jaw. His hair was longer and his eyes shown red from the fully mature sharingan. He was wearing a traditional Anbu uniform and Kiba noticed the sword strapped to his back.
Sakura had her hair short and was also wearing an Anbu Uniform. Shino could see a small scar on her left arm. She had a pair of Tonfu attached to her thighs and they could see the womanly body she had develpoed felt his jaw drop and drool start as he looked at Hinata. She wore the traditional Jounin vest with it unzipped. He figured she couldn't zip it because of the size of her chest. She had waist length hair and looked absolutly stunning. Even Shino had a small blush.
But what caused them to gasp the most was Naruto. He looked just like the Fourth. He had long blonde hair that framed his face and he had on his black jacket like cloak with his Jounin vest underneth of it. What then got their astonishemnt were two things: He and Hinata both had gold bands of their fingers and when Naruto turned around, they saw written on his jacket proudly were the words Rokudaime Hokage. Kiba opened and closed his mouth several times while Shino had to remove his sunglasses.
"What...what is the meaning of this henge?" Kiba asked.
Shino shook his head.
"It's no henge Kiba. This is them. No illusion." He told his teammate.
"But, but they have to be almost twenty!" Kiba said pointing at them.
"Actually, Twenty-two." Sakura told him with amusement.
Kiba's jaw dropped even further while Shino put his glasses back on.
"So...You must be from the future. I'm assuming that Sakura and Sasuke are the Anbu Captains assigned to protect the Hokage and his wife." Shino guessed.
"Nah. They just wanted to come along for the ride." Naruto told him, smiling.
"I see. My apologies...Hokage-sama." Shino said uneasily.
"No. It's just Naruto for now."
Shino nodded while Kiba looked at his and Hinata's wedding ring.
"So..." He began, turning red.
Naruto cut him off before he could continue.
"Now is not the time. We brought you hear to bring you into our little plan." He told them.
Both boys exchanged looks before facing them.
"What did you have in mind?"
xxxxxxx
Kiba was shocked. And he was confused.
"But...Your Rokudaime Hokage! You run the village! Why would you want to destroy it?" Kiba demanded as Shino restrained him.
Naruto gave him a bored look.
"Because it is beyond saving. We tried several times but it didn't work. This is the fifth time we've tried altering the history of the village to prevent it's destruction. We went back to the founding of the village, altered it to where the Uchiha never joined, but then the Hyuuga clan became the arrogant ones and they were massacured by Neji. So, we tried altering the Uchiha massacre, but it still caused a rebellion and allowed control of the village to fall to those who are causing the problems. We tried to change Sasuke's retrival. It didn't help that Sasuke killed his younger self." Naruto said smirking.
Sasuke sighed.
"The me in that timeline was way too hell bent on getting revenge. I had too."
Naruto shook his head.
"And we just came from an attempt to keep Danzo from getting his hands on the temporary position of Rokudaime Hokage." Naruto finished.
Shino and Kiba both sat in silence before Kiba spoke up.
"But..why did you come here?"
"Becuase in jumping around we realized that Danzo is the cause. We narrowed it down and the best chance to destroy him is this time period." Hinata told him.
"Then just kill him! Don't harm the rest!" Kiba counted.
Sakura shook her head.
"No. His influnce is too strong. One more will just step into his place. Besides, we have to level the village to destroy all his hidden facilities and such. Along with his failed expiriments." She told him.
"And most of the civilian population are under the effects of Danzo's hypnosis. We kill him, they attack Konoha from the inside out. Like an infection."
Kiba and Shino were quiet. They knew that anyone with a connection to Danzo would be under his spell. They each knew that this meant their clan heads and their own clan councils. Kiba hung his head while Shino looked to them with multiple emotions.
"It's the logical thing...and the right thing, even if it will hurt." Shino stated, thinking of his father.
Hinata looked at him puzzled before she understood what he meant.
"No. No. The Clan heads are not affected. Only the council members of the clan are along with the civilian council." She corrected them.
Both of them looked relieved before they nodded.
"Alright. We'll help."
xxxxxx
Naruto sighed as they waited patiently in the forest clearing, waiting for Orochimaru to make his move. He glanced over and saw Hinata's questioning look.
"Yes?"
"Why can't we stay adult?" She asked him queitly.
Naruto sighed.
"Becuase that seal is kinda like a summoning. It allowed us to summon out older forms while we inhabited the bodies. However, we can only hold those forms for a little while. Our bodies, when we came back were actually our youngerselves bodies. With our minds being stronger than theirs, they were, for all intents and purposes were absorbed into our minds."
Hinata looked at him for a second before shrugging.
"Okay."
Naruto smiled as he went back to watching Team 7. They didn't have long to wait before a massive blast of wind slammed into their clearing, scattering them. Naruto saw the snake move into the area and began to attack Sakura and Sasuke. The Blonde smirked as he watched Orochimaru falter at their unexpected strength. He could see the snake's worry. Naruto grinned and signaled Hinata. The pair fadded from view. Orochimaru ducked just in time before a kunai sliced right where he had been. He looked up to see two more Genin arrive, these two also impossible strong. He recoginized one as Uzumaki the Kyuubi container. The other was a Hyuuga. He could tell by her pale, pupiless eyes. All four glared at him with such hate and intensity that even he had to take an involuntary step back.
"So. More cannon fodder. Oh well. I'll just kill you all and mark Sasuke as mine." Orochimaru told them as he prepared himself to launch his attack.
Naruto grinned.
"Bring it on you old teme."
Orochimaru glare daggers at him as he tensed.
"You'll die first!" He screamed as he rushed them.
Naruto moved foreward, the others simply held back and watched. The snake sneered. They were confident, he'd give them that. But noone could take him on alone and win. Naruto brought his knee up. Orochimaru slapped away his knee, but he didn't see the fist that slammed into his jaw. Orochimaru stumbled back and glared at Naruto who grinned at him.
"Heh. Guess we're not just canon fodder, huh?"
"Lucky shot. You won't get another one!" Orochimaru screamed as he rushed him again.
Naruto dodged the attack as he accessed the demonic chakra inside him. Naruto began to cover himself with dark red chakra, however, it was absorbed into his skin. As they watched, his ears elongated as his chakra tails solidified into real tails. His eyes gained slit pupils, turning blood red as his canines lengthened. Naruto glared at Orochimaru as he tensed his body, his blonde hair defiying gravity. Naruto vanished in a blur of speed. The Snake recived a powerful kick to the chin, sending him skyward. Naruto lept into the air, pulling his leg back before slamming it into his chest, hurling him horizantal to the ground. Naruto, defeying gravity, appeared over him. Naruto coiled back his arm, slamming his fist into Orochimaru's face, sending him into the ground with enough force to create a crater. Naruto landed in front of him, before back flipping, bringing his heel down onto the Snake's chest. Just before the attack connected, he melted into the ground.
"Curse you Kyuubi brat! I'll kill you for this!"
They stayed on their guard for several moments before they relaxed. Sasuke shook his head while Hinata hugged him tightly. Naruto chuckled.
"It's okay hime. I'm stronger than almost everyone on the planet. Very few could even come close to harming me."
Hinata smiled as she remembered just who it was that was stronger than him.
"Fine. But next time, we're helping." She told him sternly.
Naruto agreeed becuase even he wasn't stupid enough to argue with his better half.
4. Chapter 4
I'm a rather nice guy, and I welcome all reviews, good and bad. I like to see what you guys think. However, I would like to point out to a certain somebody, that just because I made it to the Chunin exams under 8,000 words does not mean squat! There is no determined length to get to a certain point. I did not think covering the Wave mission is important to the story, _my _story. In fact, that mission really doesn't even affect the plot, period. As for those who think I'm makin Naruto too strong, or even uber strong, did you forget that _he is the Rokudaime Hokag and is not only younger but stronger than Orochimaru was even in his prime?!_ Some times, and I'm guilty of this, we need to hold of on critizisum of certain aspect without thinking. I'm sorry if I have insualted some of you, and I apologize, really I do. I'm just getting irked that some people aren't trusting where I'm taking this story. I do have a plan and an outcome. Just give me a while for them to happen before you try to tell me how my story should go. If you want to see it a different way, then by all means, write you own. And send me the link. I'd love to read it and see any one elses take on this challenge. Also, I need some help. I'm trying to find a story I haven't been able to find again. Naruto and Hinata are on a mission and basically in the begining, Naruto walks in on Hinata bathing in a river, nude and turns around and leaves. There's a scene where he transforms into a rabit and Hinata scratchs him behind the ear. When the clone disperses, he gets and erection from the memory of it. Some one help me, please? Any way, sorry for the rant. Read and Enjoy.
* * *
Chapter IV
Naruto and Team 8 arrived at the Tower with three days left in their survival challange. It was amusing to say the least since last time, Team 7 had been last. Speaking of Team 7, they landed next to Team 8. Naruto glanced at them before he looked back at Hinata.
"Shino? Kiba? You guys go wiat for us inside. We'll be there in a few minutes."
"Hai, Rokudaime-sama." Shino replied.
Naruto simply plamed his face. He'd long ago given up trying to get his Aburame friend to call him Naruto.
"What is it, dobe?"
"Simple. That wasn't Orochimaru."
Saskura gave him a confused look.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that fight with him was way too easy. It was like fighting a high Chunin. And I kicked his ass. At first I thought it was becuase of how awesome I am, but then I realized something. Something Anko told me about a clone."
The girls eyes went wide as Sasuk nodded.
"Makes sense. He had these weird clones that were more like cannon fodder that were half his strength. It fits. So that means..." Sasuke trailed off.
"When I fight him next time, it'll be harder. A lot harder." Naruto looked up at the three and grinned.
"Alright. We're not at where I want to be for man power for this opereation. So...We're gonna run interference during part three. I'll help the Hokage. Hinata? You protect the high level officials. Sasuke? You'll be helping all around the stadium. Sakura? You'll get to the hospital and use that wonderful training you received from Tsunade-obaa-chan." He outlined his plan to them.
Sasuke cocked his head to the side before he glanced at the tower.
"What about them?" He asked, jerking a thumb over his shoulder at the tower.
Naruto shook his head.
"For now, they'll just get in the way. Now comon. We've got a second exam to take!"
Naruto and his group left for the tower pleased with themselves. They just didn't notice on thing. Sandaime Hokage had been hiding in the trees, listening to everything they said. He worriedly looked to the tower before he dropped down and entered the tower after them and headed off to wait for them to come to him. He would have answers from them, one way or the other.
xxxxxxx
Naruto shook his head as he and Team 8 left the Chunin saying room and headed for their quaters when a pair of dog masked Anbu stepped around the corner. They bowed their heads in respect making Naruto frown.
"Rokudaime-sama. Sandaime-sama would like to speak to you." The one on the right spoke.
Naruto knew that if they were calling him that, then they already knew just who he was. No lie could help him out.
"Lead the way." He ordered.
They nodded and Team 8, minus Shino, headed off after the Anbu. Naruto was trying to figure out how Sandaime had figured it out and knew that he'd be told in the intervening minutes. They entered the chamber where the Anbu waited outside. In the room were not only Sarutobi but, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Tsunade, Gai, Asuma, Kurenai, Anko, and Iruka. Naruto glanced over at Sasuke and Sakura and sighed. Naruto placed his hands in his pockets and looked at Sarutobi.
"So...You know, Sandaime-sama? I had assumed the jutsu hadn't been felt when noone came running."
Sarutobi chuckled.
"Oh, it was felt. Just too quick for most to assume it was a jutsu of that magnitude."
Naruto smiled.
"I knew there was a reason why you were called the Professor. Tsunade-baa-chan never did tell me why." He said, grinning even wider as he felt her anger. Jiraiya looked from her, behind him, to Naruto and decided he had better get out of the direct line for her attack on Naruto. Naruto looked at Tsunade and gave her an apologetic look.
"I apologize, Godaime-sama. I'm so used to the relationship we have in my time, that it slipped out."
Sarutobi laughed loudly as he pictured Tsunade dealing with the title of Hokage. Jiraiya looked at her seriously and nodded.
"Well, you would be the best choice." He told her.
Tsunade glared at him before Sarutobi got the room under control. He eyed Naruto smiling.
"Why don't you show us? The Anbu who met you at the door were the ones who told us."
Naruto smirked.
"You had us tailed and when we revealed our secret to our teammates, they told you. Fine." Naruto said as he made a simple seal. The adults watched as their bodies lengthened, their hair grew, and their clothes and faces changed. He heard several gasps from the Hokage as well and he knew why. He was the spitting image of Yondaime, but with darker colored clothes. He looked specifically at Kakashi to see his eye threatening to pop out of his head. Naruto chuckled and felt his ears pop at the sudden squeal of delight he heard from Kurenai. Naruto looked at Hinata curiously. She smiled and held up her left hand. He grinned as he saw Iruka laugh at the irony and Sarutobi just shook his head.
"Before we start asking about the little things, I think Rokudaime-sama has a bit of explaining to do." Sarutobi told him.
Naruto decided that the truth wouldn't be quite the best thing and at that, it would probably hurt them later when they did need them. Naruto sighed and looked back at Sarutobi.
"We've come back to aid the village in repelling a combined Sand and Sound invasion, spearheaded by Orochimaru. They'll attack the village during part three of the exam."
Naruto paused and let this sink in. The Jounin and Iruka looked shocked, while Jiraiya grimly looked at him as Sarutobi looked at his desk sadly. Naruto knew why.
"In the attack, he weakened the village to a state that it hasn't recovered from. We face total destruction in less than ten years of this attack." He continued.
Iruka's eyes widened as he did the math in his head.
"But...that means you made Hokage at twenty two!"
Naruto smiled.
"Actually, I was named Hokage when I was sixteen. The previous Hokage had sustained injuries during battle she was never quite able to recover from."
Sarutobi glanced at a surprised Tsunade before returning his gaze back to Naruto.
"I see. So, I assume you know the secret we were sworn to."
Naruto's gaze hardened.
"Yeah. And I sure as hell don't agree with them. You had no right to keep who my parents where from me. Granted, was I a loud mouthed little genin who thought he could take on the world? Yeah, but I was smart enough to know that I wouldn't be able to blurt out who my father was. Hell, you could have at least told Hiashi in advance. It was like pulling teeth to get him to believe me."
Sarutobi smiled sadly.
"Yes, Naruto. I should have. But at the time, my desicion garuntees that no one outside the vilage came after you."
"Yeah. Just those inside the village." Naruto muttered.
He saw Sarutobi flinch.
"I just have one question. Why wasn't Danzo executed for treason when he broke your law?" Naruto asked.
Everyone looked to Sarutobi he looked at him with guilt.
"His ROOT was still around and I know his deadman orders. They'd destroy the village if he is killed."
Naruto nodded. That confirmed their information.
"Fine. Well, is that all you have for us, Sandaime-sama?" Naruto asked.
Sarutobi smiled.
"How would you like to be Hokage?"
Naruto eyed the grinning oldman.
"No thanks. The paperwork is your responsibility. And, try shadow clones. Kami knows that they had a tough time dealing with the mountian of papers." He said as they reverted back to their youngerselves.
With a wave, Naruto and the others headed out of the office, leaving many unanswered and new questions.
xxxxx
Naruto and the others patiently waited for the start of the prelimes with mixed emotions. They wondered if their previous matches would be the same or if the oldman would change them. Common sense said yes. However, they truly didn't know. So, Naruto and the others waited as the electronic board cycled through the names and stopped. Naruto had to grin and shake his head. First match: Sasuke Uchiha vs Akado. Naruto smirked as he watched Sasuke leap down with something akin to satisfaction written on his face. He cracked his neck and smirked at the traitorous nin in front of him. Hayate shouted begin and lept away as the two boys moved. Sasuke aimed a kick for his head, that missed. Sasuke knew it would and used his momentum to spin over Akado. The Nin spun around aimed a puch at Sasuke. The boy leaned back until he was parrellel to the ground. He grabbed Akado's wrist and slung him over him, using the exsisting momentum to cause him to crash face fist into the ground. Sasuke straightened up and turned around to see a glowing green palm coming at his face. Smirking, he used the replacement techique to put a surprised Jiraiya in the way who was too stunned to react. Akado disengaged his technique and looked over to see Sasuke scribbling on a padd of paper.
"This will do wonders for my next book." He said in a passible imitation of Jiraiya.
Naruto clutched his side as he rolled around, laughing, trying to breath at Sasuke's joke. Sarutobi smiled while Tsunade was being supported by Anko, both women laughing hysterically at that. Sasukr smirked as Jiraiya stomped away, fumming. Akado rushed Sasuke.
"Catch!" Sasuke yelled and tossed him the pad.
Akado caught it out of reflex, which allowed Sasuke to attack. Akado looked around confused until a foot connected with the underside of his jaw. Naruto looked over at Lee and Gai to see the shocked expressions on their face. The blonde just didn't know why Sasuke was using the Lion's Barrage, but wasn't going to complain. The move was even more painful after Lee had shown him how to do the Intial Lotus. Naruto winced as he watched Akado take an axe kick to the back of his head, his face impacting painfully onto the concrete. Hayate came out with a small smile and declared Sasuke the winner. The Uchiha bowed to the crowd, grinning before he shushined up to Naruto and the others. He looked at Naruto, still grinning
"What'd you think?"
Naruto grinned even wider.
"Worthy of praise, my Uchiha friend."
Sasuke laughed as Naruto returned his gaze to the display. He felt his face fall for a split second of shock before he closed his mouth. This was not what he was expecting. Neji Hyuuga vs...
xxxxx
"...Shino Aburame. Will both contestants come down to the arena?" Hayate called out.
Neji lept down, dissapointed and angry. He wanted Hinata as his opponenant. He looked up to the balcony to see the girl in question looking at him calmly.
_"Your time will come. I will beat you to with in an inch of death. Then you'll beg me, a branch member to save you, just like my father was begged to save your's. Then, in that moment, I'll kill you infront of everyone!" _Neji though savagely as Shino dropped down to the arena.'
The bug used calmly walked to the proctor and nodded to Neji. The Hyuuga ignored him as the proctor explained the rules. Hayate lept away, calling for the match to begin. Neji snarled and rushed Shino, aiming to take the other boy out quickly. His jyuken struck dead center of his chest. He watched as Shino burst into bugs and yanked his hand back as they attempted to land on him. Neji watched as the swarm rose up, intent on smothering him under their numbers. Neji lowered his stance.
"Rotation!" He screamed as he spun at high speeds, emiting chakra from every part of his body in an instant.
The bugs slammed into his supposed perfect defense and begen to feed off of it. Neji stopped the rotation and lept away. So the bugs fed off of chakra. Neji frowned as the bugs returned to Shino. The Aburame calmly returned his glare.
"Hyuuga. You are at a disadvantage. Your moves require constant chakra use and my bugs devour chakra. Forfeit. You can not win." He said calmly.
Neji smirked.
"We'll see. Besides. Fate as dictated who will win this match. Not you." Neji told him.
"Very well. I will destroy you." Shino said simply as he prepared himself.
Neji rushed forward and began to systematically attack Shino's tenketsu. The bug user dodged the best he could, but some of them did hit. No matter. He released a large amount of bugs in an attempt to scare the Hyuuga away. Neji, however, smirked as he lept back. Pulling out a fire scroll he had, he smeared his blood across it, activating a sudden blast of flames from the scroll. Neji combined it with his rotation, creating a high sping ball of fire that expanded out from him and engulfed the swarm in a firey blaze. Naruto griminced at the sight of the incinerated bugs. Neji slowed and stopped, breathing heavy from the use of chakra and smirked. Shino was gripping his head as he tried to recover from the instant loss of three quaters of his hive. Neji pressed his advantage as he lowered into the gentle fist stance. Naruto screamed out a belated warning as Neji closed the distance.
"Eight Trigrams: 64 Palms!" He screamed as he desended upon the Aburame.
"Two strikes!" Shino flinched from the impact.
"Four strikes!" Shino felt the hits from his side.
"Eight strikes!" Neji's strikes impacted across his chest.
"Sixteen strike!" Shino felt his legs and chest go numb.
"Thirty-two strikes!" His whole body felt like it was on fire from the hits.
"Sixty-four strikes!" Shino gasped as an open palm slammed into his chest and threw him into the wall.
The Aburame hit with a thud and slid down the wall, landing in a heap, unconcious. The Proctor checked Shino and declared Neji the winner. The Hyuuga lept back up to his team and sent a cold glare to Hinata, who ignored it. Shino was deposited up in the balcony with them and would regain consious within the next few minutes. Naruto sighed as he looked back up at the board. Gaara vs Kunkuro. Naruto snorted, knowing that this would be a very short match. Before Gaara moved, Kunkuro raised his hand.
"I give! I give!" He practically shouted.
Gaara glared at him as the Proctor sighed and called the match to Gaara. Naruto snorted as he watched Kunkuro back away from Gaara in fear. They all looked back up to the display with curiousity. Naruto grinned and gave Hinata a small hug.
"You'll do fine." He whispered as she looked up to the board.
Hinata Hyuuga vs Ten Ten. Hinata nodded and lept down to the floor with Ten Ten, who was smirking.
"Well, the famous Hinata. I've heard many biased things about you. But, I'll make my own assumptions about you."
Hinata smiled and nodded.
"Thank you. I know that stubborn cousin of mine can be a real jerk at times. Allow me to apologize for his behavior."
Ten Ten waved a hand dismissively.
"No need. Anyway, lets make this a good fight? What do you say?" Ten Ten asked.
Hinata smirked as she lowered herself into the Gentle fist stance. Ten Ten pulled out a pair of scrolls and waited for the Proctor to start the match. Ten Ten yanked her arms to the sides, causing the scrolls to open with snap. Ten Ten bite both thumbs and brought both scrolls together. Using her thumbs on the opposite scrolls, she yanked her arms to the sides again, this time, smearing blood along both scrolls. They each glowed blue before a massive swarm of kunai and shuriken exploded into veiw. Ten Ten smirked as she tossed the scrolls aside, and grabbing two more. Hinata tensed as the mass of metal suddenly flew at her at great speeds. Hinata spun and dodged each one of the flying bits of death and smirked at Ten Ten as the weapons mistress summoned an even larger swarm of weapons. Hinata waited until this swarm as almost upon her.
"Rotation!" She screamed as she deflected the weapons away from her.
As the final kunai clattered to the ground, she looked up at a frowing Ten Ten. The girl pulled out a large scroll and unraveled it, smearing blood across the paper. The crowd gasped as they saw the clouds of floating weapons, all pointing at Hinata from every direction. Hinata frowned as she lowered her body into the gentle fist stance. Ten Ten smriked as she sent the clouds of metal at Hinata in waves, causing the Hyuuga girl to have to use rotation on each group. Naruto looked at her worridedly. Sure, she had improved her chakra capacity over the years and her stamina, but even she couldn't use rotation all day. Sure enough, after the eigth time, Hinata was breathing heavy as Ten Ten glared at her.
"Alright. No more miss nice Konouchi." She said as she pulled out a pair of tonfu.
Hinata griminced as Ten Ten rushed her. Hinata was thankful for the bracers she had attached to her arms as Ten Ten slammed one of the steel rods down on Hinata's forarms. The Hyuuga girl batted it away and came in low, trying to hit the older girl in the side. Ten Ten brought a tonfu down in an atempt to shatter Hinata's hand, but the heiress was too fast for that as she quickly yanked her hand back and changed her target to Ten Ten's right shoulder. Her hand made contact, but she was forced to leap away from the vicious slash Ten Ten made with the tonfu. Hinata crouched as Ten Ten popped her right shoulder back into place with a grimince. Naruto breathed a sigh of relief as he watched the match. Ten Ten gripped her tonfu tightly as her right arm hung limply at her side. Hinata tensed as she waited. She was shocked when Ten Ten raised her hand.
"I forfiet. My right arms usless and she'll beat me if I continue on using only my left arm."
The Proctor nodded and called the match in Hinata's favor. The Hyuuga headed back to the stairs, drained from her match. Ten Ten caught up with her, smiling.
"Good match. We shoudl spar sometime."
Hinata returned her smile.
"Yes. I look forward to it."
xxxxxx
Naruto sighed in relief as he and his team looked back at the board. Naruto had to shake his head at the irony. Sakura vs Ino. He grinned at Sakura as she lept down to fight. Naruto watched as Ino came down and eyed the pink haired konouchi with caution. Sakura smirked as she cracked her neck and lowered her stance, her fists glowing blue as she prepared to use her inhuman strength. Ino gulped as she prepared her self as well. The Proctor eyed them both before starting the match. Sakura didn't hesitate. She vanished in a blur and appeared behind Ino. The blonde didn't even get a chance to face her as Sakura's fist slammed into the back of her head, hurling Ino away from her. The girl cried out in pain as she hit the wall. Ino rose to her feet shakily and looked up to see Sakura almost upon her. Reacting quickly, she flashed through some handsigns before activaing her mind transfer jutsu. Sakura who knew what was coming, simply waited until the last second and vanished in a blur appearing over the now usless Ino. Sakura picked up her body and tossed it into the center of the arena and looked to the Proctor.
"Call it. I can kill her now while we wait for her mind to return to her body."
The proctor nodded and called the match. Just after he called it, Ino began to stir. Sakura helpped her up to her team. Ino looked ready to cry when she realized that Sakura had surpassed her by leaps and bounds. She looked at Sakura who gave her a small smile.
"Good job, Ino. We have to spar some time."
Ino smiled and nodded as Sakura left for her team.
xxxxxx
Naruto winced as Choji was wheeled off the arena floor, moaning in pain from the broken bones and gashes he had recived from Temari. It had been such a one sided match. Choji hadn't even had a chance to react before he was blasted away by wind. Temari had ruthlessly sent wave after wave of wind blasts at the poor boy until he submited. Naruto looked around and mentally reviewed who was left. Two sound nin, Lee and himself. He looked up at the board and grinned widely.
"Oh, this is going to be so awesome!" He declared as he dropped down to the floor.
He looked over at his opponent who was equally besides himself with excitment.
"Yes Naruto-kun! This will indeed be an awesome and youthful match!" Rock Lee declared as he struck a nice guy pose.
Hinata looked up to the board and sighed. This match would be highly destructive.
Rock Lee vs Naruto Uzumaki the board declared to all.
* * *
Raise your hand if your looking foreward if your really looking forward to this next match? Anyway, should be one more update today. Stay Pervy!
Sage out!
5. Chapter 5
Sorry about the rant last chapter but I was annoyed. I didn't mean don't review, just don't flame me for little things! Anyway, please reveiw! This chapter in on the short side, but that is because the exam final will be huge chapters and I needed this chapter as both something to progress the story and yet act as a filler. Anyway, enjoy! AND PLEASE REVIEW!
* * *
Chapter V
Naruto crouched low as Lee took his proferred Tai Jutsu stance and Hayate eyed the two carfully.
_"Oh crap. They'll level this whole arena."_ He thought as he shouted begin.
Naruto rushed at Lee and swung at the boy. The green clad youth ducked and lept back before sprinting at Naruto. The Blonde grabbed his outstretched wrist and lifted Lee up and threw him into the wall. Lee hit and got back to his feet, grinninng. Naruto rushed him again. Naruto attempted an uppercut, but Lee had other plans. Grabbing his wrist, he irish whipped Naruto into the wall. The blonde stumbled back and lashed out with a kick that threw Lee across the arena. Both combatants eyeed each other with respect. Lee and Naruto rushed each other again, lashing out with lightining fast punches and kicks that no one was able to follow. After a few minutes of trading blows, both managed to get a hold of the others wrist. Naruto kicked Lee in the chest and lept back. The Tai Jutsu specialist grinned and pulled out two chained weights like a numchuck. The green clad Nin rushed at Naruto. Lee used the weapons to block all of Naruto's shots while the blonde demon container dodged to avoid the weights smashing into his head. Naruto swung a few times, getting Lee to back off. Lee grinned as he pulled down his leg warmers and displayed a dozen or so rods that he had strapped to his legs. The green nin tossed them into the air casually as if they weight nothing. However, the meter deep crater they created as they hit, or in one instance, taking out a support for the obsevering balcony, showed that they were heavy indeed. Naruto's eyebrow twitched.
_"This guy..."_
He watched Lee produce a second set of nunchuckes and began to show off until he smacked himself in the back of his head. Naruto smirked until Lee dissapeared. Naruto stumbled back as a fist connected with his jaw. Naruto stumbled back and spotted Lee behind him. Naruto didn't react fast enough to avoid the second hit. However, he began to move when he saw Lee picking up the weights and connecting them into some sort of staff. Naruto tried to dodge the staff, but Lee smacked him with it hard enough to launch him into the air. Naruto cracked open his eyes as Lee swung the staff at him like it was a baseball bat. Naruto felt the hit and hurtled into the ground, creating a decent crater. Lee landed and eyed the dust curiously.
"That should have made a dent."
No one could have been more shocked when a blur shot out of the hole and slammed into Lee, kncoking the staff from his hands. Lee rolled and came up and grinned.
"So you were not defeated by that move. Good."
Naruto smirked as he rushed Lee again. This time, his punch connected with Lee's jaw and caused him to stumble back. Naruto ducked a right hook and kicked Lee in the gut, sending him flipping away. Lee hit the wall and cracked it and started to fall to the ground before Naruto grabbed his ankle and threw him back toward the center of the arena. Lee landed with a grunt before he got back up. Naruto stopped and looked at him in something akin to shock.
Lee smirked as he began opening the gates, sending chakra through his body, his complextion becoming red and his power going through the roof. Naruto saw him vanish before he felt a chain started to wrap around him. It was with a shock that Naruto realized that it was the staff. Lee grounded his feet and began to twirl the chain, and in effect Naruto, launching him sky high. Lee lept off the ground and appeared above Naruto again, unleashing a flurry of strikes against him as the two hurtled toward the ground. Lee gave one more massive punch and sent Naruto screaming into the ground, creating a larger crater. The green Nin landed at the lip of the crater and felt his jaw drop.
"How...? Gai-sensei. I must use it." Lee said softly as Naruto rose out of the crater.
He looked up to see Lee undoing his wrapping and gulped. This was gonna hurt, alot. He lept up to level ground and prepared to defend himself as Lee vanished. Naruto saw stars as Lee's foot connected, sending him air born. Lee appeared behind him and began to wrap him with bandages. Once he was secure, Lee flipped them both and began rotating extremely fast as they approached the ground. With a final blast of strength, Lee slammed Naruto head first into the concrete. Lee stumbled back and looked up in shock as Naruto stumbled away from the crater. Both of them were severly hurt. Naruto looked at Lee and spit some blood out of his mouth before he grinned.
"My turn."
Naruto created a dozen clones and screamed in excitment as they rushed Lee. The Tia Jutsu experet launched his attack with a Leaf Hurricane, destroying three clones. Naruto and his clones threw themselves at Lee, both of them enjoying the fight greatly as Naruto's clones were all destroyed. Lee punched Naruto hard enough for him to skid back several feet before stopping. Naruto looked up and grinned at Lee.
Naruto disappeared and reappeared in fornt of Lee and began to rain down blow after blow on the green nin. Lee knew he couldn't keep this up for long and stumbled back, his hands raised.
"Naruto-kun. As enjoyable as this is, we must leave an arena for the rest. And seeing as that my most powerful move has not beaten you, I see that I will not. Proctor, I forfeit."
Naruto looked at him sadly.
"I was really liking this fight Lee."
Lee looked at him as sadly.
"So am I, my youthful friend. However, my body is feeling the effects of both of those moves. I would be causeing undue stress and harm to myself by continuing. But," He said extending his hand, "I wish to continue this sometime."
Naruto grinned and clasped hands.
"Yeah. I'd like that."
"Winner: Naruto Uzumaki."
xxxxx
The final match went quickly once Shikamaru got in the arena with Kiba. The genius simple used Akamaru against Kiba and made the other boy forfeit, or have his precious puppy neuter him. It was rather humorus watching Akamaru walk on two legs and poking Kiba in the groin with a kunai. Sarutobi summoned them, smiling widly as the winners waited for him to tell him who would fight who.
"All of you have been assigned a number that will be matched up on a board in a tournement style set up. Ibiki will now show you." Sarutobi said, looking back to the man.
Ibiki nodded and held up his clip board.
Round 2
Hinata Vs Neji
Sakura Vs Temari
Naruto Vs Shikamaru
Sasuke Vs Gaara
Sarutobi looked at each of them and smiled.
"You have one month before the finals. I suggest you train up and prepare yourselves. You are all dismissed."
xxxxxx
Naruto winced as Hinata dabbed his cut with her healing ointment.
"Ow. What happened to being caring to your husband? OWWW! That stuff burns!" Naruto screamed as he swatted the rubbing alcohol away.
Hinata frown.
"Oh hush you big baby. Would you rather it get infected?" She countered.
Naruto grumbled and winced some more as she finished up. Hinata gave him a smile.
"All better. Now, I believe Sandaime-sama is looking for you. I think it has to do with destroying half of the arena.
Naruto chuckled as he headed off to see Sandaime.
xxxxxx
Sarutobi eyed Naruto with curiousity as the blonde sat in front of him.
"So. You said Orochimaru will attack. However, there is something your not telling me."
Naruto sighed.
"I plan on changing this, but your student is the cause of your death. He forced you to summon the Death God."
Sarutobi sighed sadly.
"I figured it was something like that. How will you prevent it?"
Naruto grinned.
"Simple. Orochimaru won't attack until Gaara's match with Sasuke. After my match, I'll come up to the Hokage box and we'll deal with him with Jiraiya's help. I figure Two Hokages and a Sannin vs Two Hokages and a Sannin should be a hell of a violent fight."
"Two Hokages per side?" Sarutobi asked Naruto.
Naruto frowned.
"Yes. Orochimaru summoned both the First and Second to fight you last time."
Sarutobi took a puff of his pipe and sighed.
"I see. Well, we have one month. I want you and your team from the future to keep yourselves ready. After all, I don't think you'll fail. If you did, you'd be the first Hokage to fail the Chunin exams."
xxxxxx
Naruto and the others calmly eyed the spectators as they roared in excitmemnt. Naruto leaned over to Sasuke.
"Guess they really are looking forward to this." He whispered.
Sasuke smirked as the Proctor waved them over to him.
"Alrigh. Everyone but Neji and Hinata Hyuuga is to go to the waiting box."
The others lept away, but not before Naruto pulled Hinata into a hug. He glanced at Neji and said just loud enough for him to hear.
"Try not to kick his ass too bad Hinata-chan."
Hinata giggled and kissed Naruto, leaving the blonde to leap away grinning from ear to ear.
xxxxxx
Hiashi Hyuuga stood up angerily.
"Since when?" He demanded of no one inparticular.
"Since she graduated." Hanabi said calmly.
Hiashi wanted to break something.'
"She knews she is not allowed to date. What am I going to tell the Lord of Fire Country?"
"I don't know but you'd better start talking."
Hiashi froze and turned to face the Lord of Fire Country himself. Hiashi gulped as he tried to think of something. Instead, he faced back to the arena to watch the match.
xxxxxxx
"Before we begin, let me speak. You should give up on being a Shinobi, Lady Hinata. Your too soft to be a Shinobi. And your too weak to do anything right. You see, fate is all knowing and unbiased. Our future's are determined by fate. And fate has decreeed that you are too weak to win here." Neji said smugly.
Hinata glared at him and gave him the middle finger.
"Neji. Go crawl into a fucking hole and kill yourself."
The crowd stared in shock as Naruto's laughter carried through the stadium.
"You tell that bastard, Hime!"
Hinata grinned as she lowered her stance.
"Get ready, you cold hearted bastard. We'll see where fate get's you!"
Neji lowered himself as well and glared at her as Genma looked over both of them.
"Alright. If your both ready...Begin!"
* * *
Please review! I don't care if it is a flame, but you guys were strangly quiet last chapter. Anyway, sorry for last chapter and how short this one is. Chapter six will be a long one for you! Anyway, soon, they'll start preparing to being more people into the fold to wipe out Konoha. Anyway, stay Pervy!
Sage out!
6. Chapter 6
Chapter VI
Hinata smirked as she and Neji eyed each other. Almost as if waiting for some invisible barrier to break, they tensed. In a flash, they moved. Neji and Hinata collided somewhere in the middle and began to assualt each other. Neji feited for a palm strike to the chest and was bringing a spear hand toward her leg as Hinata evaded the palm strike. She brought her foot up and kicked Neji in the wrist, cauing him to yelp in pain as he lept clear of the violent heir. Hinata lowered her stance as Neji gripped his sore wrist. Hinata beckoned him with her free hand, sneering at Neji. The boy screamed in rage and rushed her again, this time unleashing his fury as he tried and tried again to hit her. Hinata bobed and weaved, avoiding each and every blow with her flexability. As she leaned back from Neju's next attack, she fliped back, kicking him in the chin. Neji stumbled back and glared at her.
"I see the Main branch is allowed leeway with the gentle fist while we of the cadet branch are ordered to stay with in it's bounds." He spat.
Hinata glared.
"No. This is my own."
Neji's glared deepened.
"Oh. So you are given special treatment becuase you are the heir." He snarled.
"No. I get no special treatment. I do this for myself, the clan be damned."
Neji was momentairly stunned, but pushed in aside as he rushed her again. This time, when he over extened past her, she grabbed hold of his hair and yanked him back. Neji, screaming in pain was swung in a half circle before he went flying, tumbling several feet before he rolled back to his feet. Hinata smirked as she held up a clump of his hair.
"Missing something?" She asked as she dropped it to the ground.
Neji's glare, if possible, became even deeper as he rushed her. Hinata spun away from the attack and kicked him in his side, making him tumble away. Hinata didn't give him a chance to recover before he rushed in and began to unleash her fury against Neji. He was barely able to block the attacks, but somehow, he managed. Neji lept back, surprise on his face. Hinata calmaly moved toward him when he suddenly started grinning.
"Your in my range." He said dangerousely.
Neji lowered himelf.
"Eight Trigrams: Sixty-four Palms!" He screamed.
"Protection of the Eight Trigrams: Heavanly Palms!" Hinata screamed as she let loose her own original technique.
Hiashi activated his eyes and was amazed at what he saw. Hinata was projecting a wall of chakra in front of her, preventing Neji's attack from conecting. The boy screamed in rage and attempted to break through with another sixty-four palms. This too, failed to connect. Hinata smirked as she dropped her attack and made a cross shaped seal. A poof showed to formation of two clones, both smirking as Hinata held out her hand, palm flat. She watched Neji's confusion why her clones began molding chakra in her palms. She caught his gaze.
"Do you like it? It's a move Naruto-kun taught me. But I've made my own modifications to it." She told him as the clones poofed from exsistance.
Standing tall, Hinata held a perfect rasegan in his right palm. Neji watched as she made a one handed seal and began to glow before it vanished.
"There. With the weight seals removed, I feel light as a feather." She said, grinning before she vanished.
Neji blinked before he saw Hinata in front of him. With a powerful thrust, the ball of chakra impacted into his abdomen and sent the Hyuuga spirling away. Neji impacted the wall and slid to the grounds, bleeding from the hit. He stared at her in disbeleif.
"H-how? Y-your the w-weakest Hyuuga. Y-you s-shouldn't have been able to b-beat me."
Hinata sighed before she walked over and began healing his wounds.
"It's simple Neji. I knew where I was and what others thought of me. I pushed aside those that thought I was weak and went to those who beleived me to be strong. I didn't blame fate and I didn't stick to fate. Fate, Neji, is what we make it. We have choices in what happens in our lives. And I choose to be stronger. Just like you can choose to put the past aside and work to the future to help me heal the rift in our clan." She told him calmly, finishing her work.
Neji smiled as he accepted her hand to help him up.
"I will help you, Hinata. And...I'm sorry."
Hinata smiled.
"You can make it up to me later. Now come on. We have some matches to watch."
xxxxxx
Hinata helped Neji up to the spectator box. Naruto glanced at Sakura to see her pulling on her gloves for her fight against Temari. Naruto nodded and shushined away to the Hokage to give him a little warning while Sakura lept down to deal with Temari. The Sand girl smirked as she eyed the pink haired girl.
"Heh. You look too weak to be of any challenge." She sneered.
Sakura ignored her as she waited for the proctor to tell them to start. The moment his hand dropped, Temari was already sending a blast of air at the pink medic. Sakura smirked as she shushined away. Temari blinked in confusion.
"Huh?"
She heard a scream and managed to bring her steel fan up to block Sakura's fist. Her eyes widened in surprise as she saw the fan begin to crack. The wind user lept back, sending a blast of air that Sakura easily didged. Sakura looked down at her shirt and frowned.
"I really liked this shirt." She said as she began handsigns.
Temari narrowed her eyes as she sent another blast of wind at Sakura, but too late.
"**Earth Style: Grand Fissure!**" She screamed as she punched the ground with her enormous strength.
Temari lept away as a massive crack shot toward her like lightining. Sakura smirked as she flashed through a couple signs before ending in the tiger sign.
"**Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!**" She called again, sending a small flame at Temari, licking at the steel fan, heating it incredibly.
Sasuke shook his head.
"I knew I should have never shown her those." He muttered with pride at his teammate.
xxxxxx
Sarutobi chuckle as he caught the surprise that the Kazekage was giving off.
"We have some rather talented Genin here in the leaf village."
"Indeed you do." The Kazekage said, clearly impressed.
He again, was surprised by the apperance of the blonde genin in a swirl of leaves. Naruto looked at him neutrally before he turned to the Hokage.
"Hokage-sama. I need to speak with you. It's urgent."
Sarutobi nodded and excused himself as Sakura slammed her fist again against the fan, shattering it. The old man walked over to Naruto and looked at him questioningly.
"That isn't the Kazekage." He told him simply.
Sarutobi was about to ask him how he knew this when Naruto cut him off.
"Look, just trust me. That's Orochimaru. Just concentrate on the Kazekage's chakra and sense for anomilies." Naruto told him, grinning.
Sarutobi sighed and did as the blonde suggested. He felt his eyes widen as he made to signal the ANBU, but Naruto caught his wrist.
"Don't. You do that, and it'll cause more death than needed."
"Than what would you have me do, Rokudaime-sama?" Sarutobi demanded, rather hotly.
"Wait for me to finish my match. They won't make a move until Sasuke's match. Once I'm in position, we'll attack on my signal. Last time, you engaged without waiting for back up and got yourself killed." Naruto told him bluntly.
The man sighed and agreed as they turned to see Sakura land a KO blow on Temari, throwing her into the wall. Sakura grinned triumphantly as she was declared the winner by KO. Temari herself was wheeled off the feild as Sakura headed back to the spectator box. Sarutobi nodded and Naruto vanished and reappeared in the center of the feild as the Third walked back to his seat. The Kazekage glanced to him.
"Is everything alright?"
Sarutobi forced a smile.
"Oh, yes. Naruto was just trying to get me to swap matches with him and Sasuke. He would very much like to face your son."
The Kazekage chuckled.
"I see Gaara is rather a hot commdity here."
The Third chuckled forceibly as he turned his attention onto Naruto and Shikamaru. This would either be the longest match or...
xxxxxx
Shikamaru's hand shot into the air and th Proctor raised an eyebrow.
"I haven't even began yet." He said, pouting slightly.
Naruto raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"Why are you forfieting? I know you can think of about two hundred ways this fight will go. Surely one of Konoha's best stratigists has a way to win." Naruto taunted.
"Nope. I have spent the past month stratigising against you. Over six million senerios in the past month and none of them show me in a good position. A quater show me winning, however, based on your chakra levels and the amount required to beat you, it would require every Kage. And if you haven't noticed, I'm kinda short three Kages required to win." Shikamaru said in his calm tone.
Naruto looked to the proctor, who shrugged and called it.
Naruto shushinned back to the third and grinned as Sarutobi frowned at him.
"Is his assessment true?"
Naruto gave him a small smile.
"Exaggerated. I can probably only be of use againt maybe three of the Kages. Kaze, Ho, and Rai." He said grinning.
Both Kages chuckled while Naruto glanced between them.
"What? Is there something on my face?"
This only caused the two to laugh harder at him.
xxxxxx
Somewhere in the cloud village...
The Raikage sneezed as he tried to finish his paperwork. Looking around he fowned.
"Some one is talking about me. And its not Killer Bee."
xxxxxxx
The crowd booed as Genma stepped out to call the next match.
"Sasuke Uchiha. Gaara of the Desert. Down here for your match."
Bot boys eagerly lept down and squared off against each other. Sasuke smirked as he lowered himself toward the ground, forgetting that he was in a stance exclusivly used by the ANBU captains. Kakashi looked at him, curiously.
"I know I never taught him that." He mumbled.
xxxxxx
Naruto glanced over as Jiraiya appeared and leaned on the railing.
"This should be a hell of a match, eh, sensei?" Jiraiya asked.
Sarutobi nodded.
"Yes. This will definatly be a match to remember."
xxxxxx
Sasuke lept back as he avoided the sand whips Gaara was trying to slap him with. Sasuke had no intention of this and did a few flips before landing on his feet. Sasuke ran through a dozen handsigns before placing his hands near his mouth.
"**Grand Fire Style: Nova Blast!**" He roared as a massived ball of highly condensened, extremly hot fireball flew at Gaara as he created his sand bubble.
Sasuke smirked as most of it were turned to glass about two feet thick. He decided to start his part a bit early as he made the signs for a chidori. The sound of birds filled the stadium as he rushed foreward in speed that would make Lee jealous. Sasuke grinned as his fist shattered the glass, and struck Gaara in the shoulder, blowing bits of bone, muscle, and blood into the sand behind him. Sasuke retracted his hand as he heard the same blood curdling scream that signaled the begining of the invasion last time.
_"Here's hoping hebi-teme isn't ready yet."_
xxxxxxx
Naruto glanced at Sarutobi as the Third eyed the Kazekage.
"Is something the matter?"
The Kazekage didn't answer right away.
"Gaara...he's never been injuried before. I do not know how this will turn out." He said truthfully.
Naruto wanted to snort.
_"Course you don't. No one knew what would happen until now."_
Instead, he looked back over the stadium and saw a werid glint, followed by the civilians starting to fall asleep. He felt the Gen Jutsu comeing and flared his chakra just enough to disrupt it and to warn the Hokage. Naruto watched Sarutobi grin at the Kazekage.
"Nice weather we're having...eh, Orochimaru?" He asked, grinning as the Snake did a double take.
Orochimaru didn't move instantly.
"How...? When...? And I thought I had hidden my presanse so well." Orochimaru fummed as he tore away his disguise, only to have a fist connect with his jaw.
_"This...is not going to end well."_ He thought miserably as he face the three Konoha nin.
Orochimaru rose to his feet and glared at the three shinobi.
"Hmm...Sarutobi-sensei. You've gotten old. A pitty, but a reminder as to what aging brings."
The Third's gaze hardened as he eyed his former student with disgust and dissappointment.
"And I see your still the same sadistice person you were when you left. I should have killed you that day." The Third spat venomously.
Orochimaru eyed the next nin and grinned.
"Ah, Jiraiya-baka. It's been a long time, hasn't it?"
"Not long eonough, Orochi-teme." Jiraiya hissed at him, anger flooding through his system.
Finally, his eyes rested on Naruto who grinned back, confidently.
"Ah...so this is him? The legacy of Yondaime Hokage? Boy looks like the weakest one here." Orochimaru said casually.
Naruto simply smirked as he bekoned Orochimaru over.
"Weak? Let's talk."
Orochimaru scowled as he prepared himself.
"No matter. You thre will die and Konoha will burn to the ground." He sneered.
Naruto was having an internal debate with himself.
_"I can just stand by and let him do it, but then, all those who are innocent will die. But if I interfere, then the next oppurtunity to wipe the village out comepletely won't come until Pein gets here. Damn, but I know I'll need these two. Fuck. I guess I'll interfere then."_
But Orochimaru had different plans. He grinned as he flashed through handsigns. the Third recognized it immidiatly and began to counter it when a hand gripped his along with Naruto and Jiraiya's.
"I don't think so. This is going to be interesting." A pale, sickly looking man told Sarutobi.
The Konoha nin could only watch as two caskets erupted from the ground as the three oto nin that held them lept back to their positions and created the barrier that no one could escape from. The caskets opened and Naruto felt his eyes widen along with the other two. The man from the coffin glaced at Naruto and smiled at him.
"Well, it's been awhile Naruto. You sure have grown." The man said, grinning.
Naruto couldn't beleive it.
"You...you...bastard. To summon him...why would you?" Naruto demanded.
Orochimaru chuckled.
"Ku ku ku. I figured it would be interesting." He said as he slammed Kunai into his two summons heads. "Go say hello to your son...Yondaime Hokage!"
7. Chapter 7 Battle of the Kages Part 1
This chapater is very good battle sequence if I do say so myself. I wrote it in my head at first as I was listening to Breaking Benjamin's Unknown solider and then as I was listening to Citizen Solider by Three Doors Down. Try listening to both of those while reading this. Also, I kinda had inspiration from State of Emergancy by Papa Roach. All of these songs helpped me to write this chapter, so it's basically a blend of the feel from all three. Heroic, Chaos, and, of couse, Peace when facing what you know the end is near. Anyway, I really am prud of this chapter and next chapter will be even better.
* * *
Chapter VII Battle of the Kages Part 1
Naruto and his comrades rushed their targest. Jiraiya delt with Orochimaru while Sarutobi took on the First Hokage. That left the Yondaime Hokage to Naruto. Naruto felt a slight pang of irony. He's always wanted to know how good his father was in his prime. Now he'd know. The battle was intense. Naruto spent most of his time on the defensive from the Yondaime. Not becuase he was better. Naruto's skills were on par with his. It was an even fight. However, he wanted to get to used to his father's style and the rythem with it. If he got that, then he'd be able to increase his odds at winning. Naruto glanced over and saw Sautobi unleash a fire jutsu on the first that the older nin barely dodged. The slightly smoldering hair was proof enough. Jiraiya was basically having a slug fest with Orochimaru, niether resorting to jutsu because the other never gave his opponent enough leeway to unleash a jutsu. Needless to say, Orochimaru looked like ground beef. Jiraiya wasn't much better off having been poisioned by Orochimaru early in their fight. Naruto ducked a right hook and looked over to see Sarutobi recovering from a savage kick that was cauing him to cough up blood. If niether of them got ny help, they'd die.
Naruto knew he'd need Jiraiya and Sarutobi's help later, so, using a jutsu the fox had taught him, Naruto spun around, summoning a pair of clones that gripped onto Jiraya and Sarutobi. Everyone watched in confusion as Naruto speed through a dozen seals and shoved his hands out, chest level
"Barrier Break: Disipate!"
Naruto knew that the barrier would only stay down as long as he kept it that way. Sending a mental command to his clones, they lept through the hole just as Naruto let it form back up. The two older men screamed in fear and rage at the boy. He had effectivly just put himself in a cage with three very powerful, Kage level opponents. Naruto faced them and saw a fist connect with his face. Tumbling backwards, he hissed in pain as a foot from the First shot him into the air. Naruto kept his eyes closed as another blow landed on his abdoman, slaming him into the roof. Naruto stumbled up out of the crater and ducked a kick by the Fourth. Yondaime looked at him blankly as he aimed another punch at Naruto's head. The boy ducked and swept the Yondaime's feet out from under him. Just as he was about to press his advantage, the First arrived and backhanded Naruto, throwing him clear of his intended target. Naruto landed on his feet and skidded back as he produced a tripronged Kunai. He hurled his as the Yondaime did. Both vanished in twin flashes of yellow and began to fight at a speed no one could follow. Everyone watched as sparks and blood seemed to appear all over the roof. In a second flash of yellow, both reappeared. Naruto gripped his upper arm as the Fourth watched his hand reattach itself to his arm. Naruto hardened his gaze as he listened to Orochimaru laugh at him. Naruto knew he could not win like this. He created twin Rasen Shuriken and screamed in rage as he brought both across his body, and in one sweeping motion, sent both of the attacks hurling away from him. The Yondaime ducked and flipped away as the chakra disks followed him. He rushed to the barrier and lept up, cauing the faster of the two to smash into the barrier. He dodged to the left as the second one hurried after him. Yondaime sprinted away from it, but he knew it would gain on him. Calmly, he faced the attack and made a single handsign.
"Dissipate!" He cried.
The wind element dissappeared, however, the rasengan was still very much on target. Yondaime lept up as the rasengan passed under him and slammed into the head of the first. The head and the kunai were destroyed, and the headless corpse of the first hokage dropped to the ground, neck smoking slightly. Yondaime landed next to Orochimaru who glared.
"I guess I'll just have to break you. I'll have the Yondaime kill each and everyone of your friends. And then, I'll have him slowly kill that girl your so fond of." He sneered preparing to call for the barrier to be dropped.
Naruto's eyes widened as he registeref the Snake's threat against his friends and Hinata. Naruto roared as a massive explosion of chakra covered him. Orochimaru felt his eyes widen as he took in Naruto's change. The boy was no more. Instead, there was a tall man, with long blonde hair framing his face with blood red eyes wearing a bright white cloak with blood red flames along the hem. Written on the back were the words 'Rokudaime Hokage'. Orochimaru gasped as the blonde in front of him glared. Naruto slowly fadded from view and reappeared, kick connecting with the Yondaime's head. Once the older blonde was out of the way, Naruto rushed him again, this time a rasengan screaming in his right palm. The Yondaime spun, coming out of his crouch, rasengan of his own charged. Both attacks slammed into each other and the blondes were thrown apart. Both flipped and landed on their feet. Naruto rushed him again, this time a rasengan in each hand. Yondaime hardedned his gaze and slowly faded from veiw as Naruto's attack hit where he had just been. The blonde from the future grunted as the former Hokage's knee impacted into his stomach. Naruto stumbled back and charged the Hokage again, this time, both locked blades. Naruto grunted as sweat ran down his face and back. Naruto yanked back his head and slammed it against the Yondaime's, teeth gritted as they hit with enough force to bleed. Naruto yanked his head back again and slammed it upon his dead father's form even harder this time. He saw stars explode as the Yondaime stumbled back, clutching his head. Using this momentary distraction, Naruto turned his attention to Orochimaru. The blonde put on a huge spurt of speed and rushed him, his hand drawn back. Just before his fist connected, he ducked a punch the Yondaime sent at him. Spining around, Naruto slammed his drawn fist into his jaw, throwing him away. Once again, he had his attention faced of the Yondaime. Naruto flew through several dozen hand seals.
"Forbidan Wind Jutsu: Death's Wings!" Naruto screamed.
The temperature in the cage dropped several degrees as they watched. Yondaime looked around as he felt a eerie feeling on his skin. He suddenly clasped his hand on his left forearm as a deep gash appeared. He flinched again as his right thigh recived as gash as well. Yondaime grunted as his body was assualted from all sides, gashes and blood splattering his clothes. Using a massive blast of chakra, he blew the deadly attack away as he began making hand seals himself. After a dozen seals, he stopped, hands pointed at Naruto.
"Ninja Art: Spiraling Fury!"
Naruto gawked at the massive cyclone of fire screaming towards him. Naruto moved as quickly as he could, but his leg was still caught in the vortex. Naruto screamed as he dropped to thr ground, looking at his blackened and smoldering leg. Naruto tried to stand, but railed, dropping to the ground. Yondaime casulayy approached him, rasengan charging in his hands. Naruto looked up at him, anger on his face.
"Pathetic excuse of a father." He spat at the man.
Naruto watched as the Yondaime stopped, frowning as if he was trying to understand what Naruto had just said.
"It must not even compute for you that your about to kill your own flesh and blood." Naruto seethed.
Yondaime slowly began to glare at the boy.
"You think I don't know what I'm about to do?" Yondaime challenged softly as the blue orb spun peacefully in his hand, blue light dancing across the surfaces around him.
Outside, Jiraiya was trying everything he could to break throuh the barrier, as was Sarutobi. Both were listening to the conversation.
"What would Okaa-san say? I mean, I think you loved her." Naruto taunted, his leg still in an extrdinary amount of pain.
Yondaime began to shake with anger as he glared at Naruto. Outside, Jiraiya was torn between fear and amusment that Naruto _was taunting_ the Yondaime and was pissing him off, greatly. Naruto, not caring what happened, keep pushing buttons.
"You never loved her!" Naruto screamed.
Yondaime's eyes widened as his rage took over. Jiraiya watched in amazement as Yondaime picked Naruto up by the front of his shirt, rasengan dissipating as he balled his hand into a fist.
"I don't give a damn if you are my son! You will not" His fist connected with Naruto gut, causing him to gasp for breath "Talk to me" Another punch to the stomach, causing a bit of blood to spatter on the Yondaime's robes "That way! AND I LOVED YOUR MOTHER WITH EVERYTHING I AM!" He screamed, throwing Naruto into a nearby wall.
Yondaime took several steps before he dropped to his knees, hands on his head as is he was in extreme pain. Jiraiya watched in amazement as the kunai slowly, inch by painful inch, was slowly pushed out of his head. The blade hit the ground, glowing red as it melted into a puddle of steel. _Strong roof._ Jiraiya mused as the wood had yet to show heat damage. Naruto painfully rose to his feet, unsteady as he looked to the Yondaime, wipping the blood from his mouth.
"Now that your you, wanna skin a snake, Otou-san?" Naruto asked.
Yondaime ginggerly rose to his feet and nodded. Both blondes faced Orochimaru who snarled at them.
"Piss off!" Naruto yelled as he and his father flashed through the same set of handseals.
"**Namikaze Hidden Ninja Art: ELEMENTAL FURY!**" They screamed as they jutted their hands forward.
Orochimaru began to scream in fear.
"DROP THE BARRIER! NOW!"
Naruto gritted his teeth as he and his father launched a ball of pure chakra that radiated with the power of all the elements. The snake screamed as the attack grew closer. Just before it connected, the barrier dropped. Naruto didn't know what happened after the attack detonated. He felt a sharp pain before he looked down in confusion. A bright silver blade, coated with his blood, was sticking through his stomach. He ran a hand over it and saw his hand coated in blood. _His_ blood. He began to feel very tired as he dropped to his knees.
_"It should hurt. It's supposed to hurt. Why doesn't it hurt?"_ He wondered as his vision began to blacken on the edges.
He slumped to the ground as he heard a familar laugh.
"Ku ku ku. Die kyuuni brat. I'll deal with your friends later. And maybe I'll keep your little girlfriend around. After all, once I have the sharingan, I can combined it with the Byuakugan and gain an even more fearsome power." He whispered into Naruto's ear.
Naruto felt his chest become heavy as his vision swam. He could feel Orochimaru's hand gripping his shoulder. Using his final bit of strength Naruto faced Orochimaru, his eyes closing as he spoke, his strength, leaving him.
"You...bas..."
Naruto never finished the statement as his eyes closed and his body dropped to the ground. Orochimaru laughed as several pained crys rangout. The Snake Sannin rounded on the remaining thre. Jiraiya was almost out of Chakra from buring the poision out of his system. Sarutobi was breathing heavily, having just healed himself, he too was running low. And the Yondaime was still weak from the forced removal of the kunai. The Snake grinned.
"Who's next?"
**"Me."**
* * *
I know, I know. I'm a sadistic bastard for this. But, if you know anything about me, you'll guess correctly as to weather or not this story will be ending so soon. Have we lost the blonde wonder? You'll just have to wait. And I had to drop in a clif hanger. Haven't done one in a long time and this seemed like it was too good of an oppertunity to pass up. Anyway, There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks. Stay Pervy!
Sage out!
8. Chapter 8 Battle of the Kages Part 2
I would like to thank you for your reviews...even though I'd like to see alot more of them. Is it that hard to drop a review on each chapter? I don't care if it's a 'Good job!' or a 'I hate this story.' so long as you give some kind of reason. A review takes no more than like thirty seconds. Hell, grammer and spelling take a back seat, so long as we can kinda understand it. Anyway, this chapter was fun to write as well. And I liked the little twist I put in here. That will be explained as well, so don't worry. Well, read and, for the love of all that is perverted, REVIEW. Enjoy! XD
* * *
Chapter VIII Battle of the Kages Part II
Orochimaru slowly looked behind him to see the hunched over form of Naruto. The blonde rose to his feet, eyes closed as he poped his neck, followed by his shoulders. The snake Sannin took an involuntary step back as Naruto's eyes snapped open. Blood red eyes and a fanged smirk greeted him. Naruto looked down at his stomach and was satisfied to see that his wound was healed before he looked back up to Oochimaru.
**"Ah. It' so good to be back. And, time for a little revenge."**
Orochimaru balked at the visage in front of him before he glared.
"It matters not. Your just some weak demon who needs to die." The snake spat.
Naruto grinned darkly.
**"Oh. The kit isn't a demon by a long shot. You get to deal with me. Aren't you speacial?"** Naruto said evily.
Orochimaru gulped before he changed his stance.
"No matter. I'll kill you, then I'll move on to the rest of the village and all of it's inhabitants."
Kyuubi sneered.
**"Ya know, you really are stupid, you know that? Even if blondie over there, the strongest of his time couldn't kill me, what makes you think some one of your incredibaly low skill do?" **Kyuubi taunted.
Orochimaru screamed and rushed Kyuubi. Jiraiya had to wonder just how much sanity Orochimary had lost over the years as they waited for the counter that was sure to come. Kyuubi smirked as he ducked the rather sloppy punch. Well, sloppy to him anyway. Kyuubi simple evaded the attacks, sneering the whole time. Orochimaru became even more enraged at Kyuubi's laughter at him.
"DAMN DEMON! SOUND FOUR! ON ME!"
Kyuubi smirked as four new nin dropped around Orochimaru. They were in just as bad of shape as Jiraiya and Sarutobi, having held the barrier for as long as they did. Kyuubi stopped snirkering when he felt a dark chakra entering into their bodies. He snapped his head in the direction of the ANBU getting ready to attack.
**"Don't. They'll kill you before you get with in three feet."** He warned/ordered.
The ANBU nodded and held their position as several Jounin, namely Gai, Kakashi, and Kurenai arrived with Sasuke, Sakura, and Hinata. They all looked over at Naruto and knew what had happened. They grimaced as they realized just how much this area was about to be remodeled against the Hokage's wishes.
"I think we'd better back up...by alot." Sasuke suggested as he was taking a rather large leap back.
The others followed suit with Sarutobi glanceing at him.
"I'm assuming this is going to be some fight."
Sasuke smirked.
"You've got no idea."
xxxxxxx
Kyuubi poped his back and streched his arms out as he eyed his opponents. The sound four. He hadn't fought anyone but Kimimaro last time. Choji had fought Jirobo, Neji had Kidomaru, Kiba took on Sakon and Ukon, and Shikamaru had faced off against Tayuya. Now, he'd get to see just how good they were. Kyuubi lowered his stance as the four changed into the seal stage two and became hidoues looking creatures. Kyuubi tensed his legs before he vanished in a yellow blur appearing behind them, similar to what Zabuza did to them the first time.
**"Never let an opponant at your back."** Kyuubi said sneering.
The five were just begining to face him when Jirobo got a foot to the face, throwing him clear. The demon vanished as Jirobo skipped across the roof, feeling each hit and impact shoot through him. Kyuubi appeared just as he was stopping, and slammed his foot into he fat ninja's head, cauing, to Kyuubi's utter delight, several teeth to fly out of his mouth and, if the snapping noise was any indication, a broken jaw. Kyuubi cackled with laughter as he rushed Jirobo again, but was stopped by some sort of summon. Kyuubi frowned as he looked up to see the girl playing a flute and thought for a moment.
_**"Save her as well kit? She could be of use later."**_
_"You mean for yourself. I guess we'll let her live. Then I'd have a reason to let you out more."_
Kyuubi snikered as he moved quickly, aiming to disable to girl. His hand shot out faster than anyone could follow and yanked the flute from her. Her summons vanished as she simply stared at her hand, anger on her face.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" She screamed before she saw stars.
Kyuubi dropped the bent flute and grabbed her by the front of her shirt, throwing her behind him a good distance as she skidded. Kyuubi looked over his oppenents as they all were moving to try to get back in range to attack him. Kyuubi assessed them and knew his next target had to be the spider boy who could shoot hardened wax like it was cool. Kyuubi grunted as he yanked his body to the right, avoiding an arrow to the gut. He scowled as he yanked the arrow out of his left arm and threw it back with great accuracy and speed. Kidomaru snarled as he began shooting arrow after arrow at Kyuubi, making the character duck, dodge, dip, dive, and dodge the arrows. To Jiraiya, it looked like the demon was having a seisure standing up, but they knew he was dodging the deadly accurate arrows. Kyuubi was having quiet nough of being used for target practice and shushined away from him. Kidomaru paused, looking around.
"Where is he?"
**"Here."**
Kidomaru spun around, arrow forming in his mouth. Kyuubi had other idea. His hand wrapped around the boy's throat and squeezed. The arrow feebly popped out of his mouth and fell. Kyuubi caught it and held it tightly as the kid's six arms were trying desperatly to pull the hand off. Kyuubi smirked and leaned in to the boy as he started to tunr blue.
**"This is for Neji."**
Kidomaru's eyes widened in pain for a split second before the life left his eyes. His body learched forward before, still twitching, Naruto tossed him away from him, the dead body bouncing a few times before it rolled to a stop, arrow sticking clean out of his heart Kyuubi turned and saw Jirobo rushing him again, a crazed looked on his face. Naruto had already deemed him the weakest of the four, but he was having too much fun to end it quickly. But this guy didn't know when to stay down. With a heavy sigh, Kyuubi moved, slowly fading from sight. Jirobi looked widly around before he felt a hand grip the back of his head.
**"If you'd have stayed down, you would have lived. Now you die."** Kyuubisaid calmly as he yanked his hand straight up.
Naruto tossed the dead head at Orochimaru as the large body hit the ground. He looked at Orochimaru and his last protector with a bored look.
**"I thought that they were supposed to be a challange at level two. Oh well, I'll kill this last one and you'll be left."**
Kyuubi knew that he was only having it easy was for two reasons. One, he knew alot more about fighting than most humans alive. Two, he was the damned Kyuubi no Kitsune. A demon of extreme power and strength, unmatched by any mortal. Except Naruto and Yondaime. They were close to his level. Kyuubi shook his head and casually walked toward them. Sakon and Ukon gripped their blades and tensed before they rushed him, coming at him from his sides, one high, the other low. Kyuubi smirked and stopped, waiting for them to get in range. Kyuubi shot his arms out and gripped their throats as they lept at him. Smirking, he channeled a tremendous amount of chakra into his hands, slowly bunring their neck. They cried out and pain as their necks began to blacken. Kyuubi smirked even darker as he tightened his grip. He could feel the flesh burning and falling away as his hands slowly passed through their trachea and their esophagus. Blood sizzled as it hit his hand and the flesh was caturized from the intense heat. Kyuubi looked into their eyes and saw pain, fear, and begging to let them live. THis made him smirk even more as he closed his hands quickly, severing their spinal cord. The bodies and the heads dropped to the ground. Kyuubi smirked as they bodies tumbled into each other, Ukon's going into his brothers. The heads simply rolled in different directions. Kyuubi looked up at Orochimaru and smirked as he resumed his casual pace toward him. Kyuubi sneered as Orochimaru tensed preparing to run. Using a speed that lee would be envoius of, Kyuubi moved only to reappear infront of him. Using his insane strength, Kyuubi slammed his fist into Orochimaru's face. The old sannin was hurled back and slid to a stop. Only to look up and see a foot sailing toward him and catching him in the side. Orochimaru felt the ribs break and gasped painfully as Kyuubi continued his assualt against him. Kyuubi slammed his foot down on the snakes hands, shattering it.
**"Oh shut up."** Kyuubi sighed as he kicked Orochimaru in the jaw.
The fragile bone shattered, leaving an even more pitiful cry of pain. Kyuubi grabbed Orochimaru's other arm and began to pull on it lightly. With his broken hand, he wasn't able to do anything as the pain also prevented him from moving much.
**"You seem to pride yourself in your jutsu. Well, I guess I know what to take from you."** Kyuubi sneered as he yanked back on the arm.
Orochimaru's eyes bulged as he tried to scream out, but his shattered jaw prevented that. Kyuubi laughed as he pulled harder, feeling the tendons and muscles tear and a slightly sucking and poping noise as the shoulder was dislocated. With a final tug, Orochimaru's arm was pulled out of it's place and tossed to the side. Kyuubi was about to finish the job when he heard a paniced scream. Looking behind him curiously, he saw the Yondaime's palm flying at his forehead and recognized a seal blazing on it. Kyuubi's eyes widened.
**"YOU DUMBASS!" **He screamed at Minato as the hand connected with his forehead.
Yondaime's eyes hardened as he watched the red chakra recede.
"Nothing dumb about. I'll fix this seal so you remain inside and never again see the light of day. Konoha will not be threatened by you any more."
Kyuubi looked up at him with a look that said are you stupid.
**"Okay dumbshit, listen here. I've been helping this boy for years. Unlike some people who's perverted name I shall not speak, sage" **Jiraiya shifted uncomfortably. **"And before you fuck with the seal, talk with Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Hinata. And thanks to you, that slimy bastard is getting away." **Kyuubi said as he dropped to the ground, unconcious.
Sure enough, Orochimaru was being carried away by a silver haired youth as Sarutobi signaled the ANBU to follow them as they all walk over to the Yondaime. Hinata had Naruto's head resting on her lap as she stroked his hair. Yondaime blinked a few times as he watched Naruto return to his twelve year old form. Before he could do anything, he felt a slap on the back of his head and turned to see an enraged Sakura.
"YOU BAKA! YOU SHOULD HAVE WAITED UNTIL THE FIGHT WAS OVER!" She yelled, pulling her fist back again.
Sasuke stopped her.
"Hime. Calm yourself. I'm sure the dobe has an explination." He told her.
Sakura nodded her head before she crossed her arms, shotting evil looks at the now confused and frightened Hokage as she muttered about apples not falling far from the tree. Jiraiya grinned as he placed a hand on the Yondaime's shoulder.
"It's okay gaki. You just reacted to fast. The kid is actually in control of the fox, so you kinda interferred at the wrong moment."
Yondaime glared at him.
"I did hear his rather cryptic statement. Wanna tell me how, that after everything you promised, you didn't take in your godson?"
Jiraiya blinked and backed away, his hands raised high. Sarutobi intervened before any harm came to Jiraiya, despite the fact that he did deserve it.
"Come. We have much to talk about. Hinata? I trust you'll get Naruto to the Hospital. Sasuke, Sakura. You two better do your jobs."
The three shinobi nodded and left with Naruto as the three kage level nins left for the Hokage's office.
xxxxxx
Hiashi Hyuuga was fumming. No, strike that. He was pissed. Here, he had just found out that his daughter, his _eldest_ daughter had been dating her teammate for a couple months now. He wanted, no, _demanded_ an explanation from her, especially after he had told her of the arrangement he had made with the Lord of the Land of Fire. She had seemed okay at the time about it. Of course, he had to admit to himself, that if Hinata did have anything to say about it, he would have said something along the lines of it being in the best intrests for her to marry the boy when the time came. Hiashi shook his head and proceeded to enter the Hyuuga compound, and began searching for Hinata. After a half an hour of this, he relented and asked a branch member where she was. The man told him that she was at the hospital, tending to the Uzumaki boy. Hiashi nodded his head in thanks and headed off to the hospital. He passed several curious people as he passed them, all wondering why he looked so pissed off.
xxxxxxx
Hinata calmly faced the door and waited as she counted down mentally.
_"Three...two...one...cue pissed parent kicking door in."_
Hiashi kicked the door in and looked at Hinata with anger.
"Just who the hell gave you permission to date?"
"I did." Hinata told him calmly.
Hiashi glared harsly.
"Did you forget our agreement with the Fire Lord?" He demanded.
"I will not even see that spoiled little child. He is three years _younger _than me. I will not even lower myself to that level."
"But you signed the paper, right Hinata-san?" A voice asked from behind Hiashi.
The Hyuuga man paled as he turned and faced the rather irritated look of the Land of Fire's ruler. Hinata gave him a confused look.
"What paper?" She asked.
The Fire Lord glared at Hiashi and produced a document and handed it to Hinata.
"Is this your signiture?" He asked her.
She eyed the fancy script and glared at the paper as she pulled out a copy of the shinobi papers she had signed when she had become a ninja.
"Compare them yourself." She told him.
The Fire Lord looked over the paper and his face reddened with rage as he faced Hiashi.
"This is s forgery! Hiashi Hyuuga! You will come with me to see your Hokage reguarding this transgression!" He ordered.
Hiashi gulped and nodded his head. He was caught. He knew it. The Fire Lord turned to Hinata, apologetically.
"I apologize for this Hinata-san. I was under the impression that you had signed this document and had agreed. I apologize for any trouble I have caused." He said.
Hinata bowed before she straightened herself.
"No harm done. I am sorry that you have come here in vain sir."
The Lord chuckled before he turned and glared at Hiashi. The Hyuuga sighed and followed the Lord out of the room and knew he was in serious trouble for this. Hinats sighed and turned back to Naruto when she heard the door open again. Hinata eyed the red haired woman with amazement.
"You know. I always wondered if Hanna's little girl would fall for my son." The woman smiled.
Hinata's eyes widened as she realized just who it was.
"Your...Your..."
The woman smiled.
"Kushina Uzumaki. Nice to meet you."
* * *
Well? Like it? Hate it? Either way, drop me a review! Also, it's time for another pointless Chuck Norris Joke! CHUCK NORRIES CAN SPEAK IN ALL CAPS. Anyway, stay pervy!
Sage out!
9. Chapter 9
Chapter VIV
Hinata looked at the woman as if she had just sprouted a second head. Kushina frowned at the girl.
"Don't tell me you can't figure this out." She said, pouting.
Hinata shook her head and Kushina sighed.
"Well, it's simple. My brilliant husband forgot to tell the third that I had been placed in a stasis scroll. The genuis assumed that his belongs would be inventoried." Kushina snorted with a humor. "Ironically, they didn't. So, here I am." She said, smiling.
Hinata nodded as she saw another dead being enter the room.
"Okay. Now I am seeing things. Your dead." Hinata said pointedly.
Minato smiled.
"Was dead. Key word there." Minato said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.
Hinata looked at him with confusion but shook her head holding a hand to her temple.
"I don't think I wanna know." She muttered as she looked back to her husband.
Even though noone knew they were married, so since things had been pretty much reset, they were just a couple. Not married couple. She sighed and knew she'd have to tell Naruto this, but she knew he already knew this. She looked back at the blonde and saw his eyes begin to open before he slowly sat up and groaned. His hand covered his eyes and Hinata could see his frown.
"Please tell me I'm not in the hospital...again."
"Afraid so, Naruto-kun."
Naruto whined about the unfairness of the situation before he looked around the room, his eyes resting on the two by the door, smiling at him.
"Alright. I know how he got here, so unless I've been blind my whole life and oblivious to your presance all these years, your supposed to be dead." He said calmly to the red headed woman.
She sighed and decieded to explain to him what had happened as she did to Hinata. At the end, Naruto grinned as he glanced to Minato, who looked at Kushina apologetically.
"I said I was sorry. I was just...caught up in the moment and kinda spaced."
Kushina glared at him.
"You 'kinda spaced' about something important." She told him.
The Yondaime hung his head as Kushina looked back to Naruto, smiling, but her smile faultered as she saw his expression of remorse.'
"What's wrong?"
Naruto sighed and glanced to Hinata. She nodded and went to get Sasuke and Sakura who were outside his room, in full ANBU gear in their older form. Yondaime and Kushina watched as they entered and waited. Naruto glanced at Hinata and nodded. The pair changed into their older form and Naruto took some satisfaction from their stunned looks.
"I guess I had better tell you the truth. You might want to sit down for this. Even Sandaime-sama doesn't know this information." Naruto told them.
The Hokage and his wife sat down and waited patiently for him to begin. Naruto looked at them thoughtfully.
"I guess I had better tell you what happened the first time through. Originally, I was assigned to Team 7, under Jounin sensei Kakashi Hatake. Team 7 comprised myself, Sasuke, and Sakura. In the begining, we were, well...barely able to funtion with one another. Sakura hated me and was always chasing after Sasuke, who was an ass and didn't care about anything but revenge. And I was a stupid little gake chasing after Sakura and a ramen junkie unlike any other. We eventually became closer, becomeing friends. This came at a cost, however. It was the first time I truly used the fox's chakra and the first time that we as a team saw the death of an enemy by a comrade. After that, we came back to the village, the Wave mission a success." Naruto paused and looked at them, noting that they were silent.
"Next, we progressed to the Chunin exams. Of course, I had sub par teaching from the academy. Only Iruka-sensei was there for me, trying his hardest to help me. During the exam's second portion, we were attacked by Orochimaru. We fought with myself being knocked unconcious by a five pronged seal over top of my exsisting seal. Orochimaru left, but not before he marked Sasuke with his curse seal. As both of us recovered, Sakura was attacked by sound genin under orders to kill Sasuke. Needless to say, they failed as our friends Rock Lee, Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara, and Choji Akamichi arrived. However, Sasuke used the seal and broked one's arms and scared the others off."
Naruto paused and glanced at Sasuke to see him shifting uncomfortably. He knew how crappy he felt for what was still to come.
"After that, we entered the preliminaires and fought against the other genin. I fought against Kiba and won by sure luck."
"You basically shit in his face." Sasuke said with a smirk.
"Teme. Shut it and let me finish. Anyway, Sasuke fought some weird guy who could drain chakra.. He won. Sakura fough Ino and got a double KO. Hinata faced her cousin Neji and lost, but she gave him a good fight. After that, I went off to train with Ebisu while Kakashi focused on Sasuke. Sakura trained on her own or with Ino for the whole month. On day one, I came across Jiraiya at the hot springd. It was there that I knew he was a pervert, but a strong one after he knocked Ebisu out in one shot. The oldman took me and began to finish the water walking training and removed the five pronged seal on me. It was after this that I signed the summoning contract for toads. For days I tried to summon something other than a tadpole. Jiraiya got so fed up that he eventually 'helpped' me to access the fox's chakra on my own."
"But, Naruto-kun. You told me he threw you over a cliff." Hinata said, turning to him.
"HE WHAT?!" He parents screamed, jumping to their feet.
Naruto waved them off.
"Not important. Anyway, I managed to summon Gamabunta, who proceeded to belittle me. I made a bet that I lost, stateing that I could stay on his back till the sunset. After that, I was hospitalized for pure exhaustion. I came to when Shikamaru came to visit me. We eventually came across Gaara, who was dead set on killing Lee. Gai showed up and stopped him. A few days later, we arrived at the arena for part three. I fought against Neji and won, if only by a little. Sasuke was in the last match, facing off against Gaara. But halfway through their match, Sasuke wounded the unwoundable Gaara with a chidori. At this time, we came under surprise attack by a combined Suna-Oto force. Myself, Sasuke, Shino, Shikamaru, and Sakura headed off after Gaara. Shikamaru hung back to distract those who were tailing us. Shino took on Kunkoro, while myself and Sakura hurried to catch up to Sasuke who was getting his butt kicked."
"He was a freaking demon!" Sasuke shot at him.
Naruto stuck his tongue out.
"So am I. Now, back to the story. I eventually managed to defeat Gaara with Gamabunta's help and free Sakura, who was being slowly crushed to death by a sand claw. When we got back to the vilage, we found out that the Third had died facing off against Orochimaru, the First Hokage's summon and the Second Hokage's summon. After I recovered, I left with Ero-sennin to find Tsunade-Obaa-chan to be the Godaime Hokage. We found her, but only after Orochimaru did to heal his arms. We got Tsunade on our side and attack him. It was at this point that after a month of working on it, I was able to use the Rasengan perfectly."
Minato's eyes widened. It had taken him three _years_ to even get the thing to work right and his son did it in a month. Naruto saw his expression and grinned as he continued.
"I almost killed Kabuto while Tsunade and Jiraiya took on Orochimaru and made his day suck. After that, we headed back to the village where Tsunade took the job as Hokage. As for the results of the exam, only Shikamaru was named Chunin. After awhile, things calmed down as reconstruction of the village went along. After awhile, Sasuke wanted to spar and we fought. Hard. It came down to both of us unleashing our most powerful moves. Me, I had a rasengan ready while he had a powered up chidori ready to kill me. Kakashi arrived and stopped us. A few days later, Sasuke left the village. Me, Shikamaru, Choji, Neji, Kiba, and Lee went after him, Lee against his doctors orders. Most of them returned, in really bad shape. I fought Sasuke at The Valley of the End. The fight was intense. Sasuke used his seal and I used the fox. In the end, our super charged attacks, Rasengan and Chidori, caused a massive explosion that knocked me out cold. I woke in the hospital and Jiraiya came and told me that we would be leaving for three years to train. I agreed and we left no more than three days later."
Naruto looked around the room and saw that noone was ready to interupt him.
"I learned alot with Jiraiya. But it was during this that he tampered with the seal and bought out the four tailed state and almost got himself killed. Skipping forward, we returned to the village and Baa-chan tested me and Sakura witth a test against Kakashi. We managed to retrive the bells and the next day, we headed off to Suna to help save Gaara, who was now Kazekage. And he was also my friend. We fought against two Akatsuki memebers and killed them and saved Gaara. After we returned to the village, we headed off again after Sasuke, this time coming across Orochimaru. The fight got bad as he screwed with my head. Simply put, I went four tails and thrashed him abit. Yamato, who was filling in for Kakashi, managed to get me to revert back with a seal designed by Jiraiya. We got back to the village and I began elemental training with Kakashi. After several unsucessful trys, I managed to combine my wind chakra with the rasengan, creating the Rasen Shuriken. I unleashed it on another Akatsuki member and killed him, but damaged my arm almost beyond repair. Baa-chan forbade me from using it again. In short, we chased after Sasuke for weeks before Jiraiya was killed by the Akatsuki Leader, Pein." Naruto said, stopping as he remembered the pain from losing someone who was like a grandfather.
"Pein eventually came to the village while I was training with the elder toads on how to use sage mode and leveled the village, killing several people, including Shizune-neechan and Kakashi. Tsunade was pretty much on the verge of chakra exhaustion having used all her chakra to heal everyone she could through her summon. I arrived in time to destroy one of the Peins. I engaged him in mortal combat in sage mode, using several rasen shuriken. Pein eventually overpowered me and had me basically nailed to the ground. It was at this moment that Hinata entered the fight, protecting me. I told her to get out if the way. I knew Pein was on a level she could not handle. And instead," He said smileing as he squeezed her hand gently. "She told me she would protect me because she loved me. She charged Pein and was almost killed by his counter attack. I lost it and went right to five tails. Pein ran, and I chased him. Eventually, I lost so much control that I was at eight tails before you stopped me and replaced the seal. But not before I hit you a couple times." Naruto said grinning at Minato, who looked at him in shock. "After you replaced the seal, I found Pein's real body and managed to talk him down. He managed to revive everyone he killed and left. I returned to the village and was greeted by everyone who had finaly accepted me. After several days, I headed out with Kakashi and Yamato to ask the Raikage to be kind to Sasuke for attacking his brother and trying to capture the eight tails. It was during this meeting of the Kages that Danzo revealed his treachery to everyone. He weilded a Sharingan and left when the other Kages became enraged by his ploy to have complete control off the grand alliance of shinobi to confront Madara Uchiha as he declared war on the world."
Naruto swallowed hard, getting to the worst part.
"Danzo had Tsunade killed in her coma and permenatly took the seat as Rokudaime Hokage, illigetamatly. Sakura told me what had happened, and myself, Sakura, and Shizune confonted the council and, with their backing, we confronted Danzo. I...I don't know what it was...but he had experamented on himself and had mutated his body. He attacked and it ended with me killing him with a rasengan. The council, after talking with the clan elders and Kakashi, who, and I quote 'Naruto is the strongest and most loyal shinobi I have ever had the honor and the privalage of serveing with. If anyone should be the Hokage, it's that boy.' A week later, I was named as the offical Rokudaime Hokage. I took the post and began to send out massangers to the other Kages, requesting to help in anyway Konoha could. The agreed and we mobilized with myself and the Raikage leading the massive shinobi army. Truly glourious. Shinobi from every land massed to fight the army that Madara had sent forth. It took four years of combat. Four years of war to defeat him. But we did. After the war, I proposed that the grand alliance remain, seeing as how well we all worked together." Naruto smiled as he thought back to that meeting.
"I elected the Raikage to stay at he head of the alliance and proposed that a vote every four years by the kages determined the new Grand Leader. I was shocked when they all voted on me, but now I know why. The paper work is a nightmare." He said with a chuckle.
"It was during the war, after Sasuke returned to help us, that I sought Hinata out. It took me over a year to finally unravel my brain and ask her out. We dated for two years before I popped the question. Nineteen year old Naruto Uzumaki settling down as the Hokage, leading the war effort. We were actually expecting when it happened." Naruto said sadly.
"At the end of the war, Danzo's final trap was sprung. I don't know what the old war hawk was thinking, or why it took four years to happen, but, the village was under attack from the inside. Every non shinobi began attacking the shinobi and began razing the village. It took us hours to find and eliminate all the threats. By the morning, we had lost roughly eighty percent of our civilian population to this. Not to mention that we never really recovered from either Orochimaru's attack, or Pein's attack. The village was down to a quater of it's strength. In a move of desperation, I brought myself, Hinata, Sasuke, and Sakura back to fix the problem." Naruto said, fininshing his tale.
Minato didn't know what to think as his jaw dropped. Kushina recovered from her shock several minutes before Minato did.
"So...your from the future. And I'm assuming that your here to prevent Danzo from attempting anything." Kushina summerized.
Naruto nodded, smiling. But Mintao didn't smile as he figured out what had to be done.
"You have to destroy the village to save it. Don't you?" He challenged.
"How do you figure that?" Naruto asked him.
Minato smiled.
"Because it is what I'd do if I were in your shoes. And, considering that you told us that the civilans will be used in a ploy to destroy the village, it's the only solution."
Naruto nodded.
"Yes. That is our mission. What will you do?" Naruto asked him, curiously.
Minato smiled.
"I heard how you were treated, and seeing as how that Danzo is and has been the cause of every problem the village has every had, I just have one question...need a hand?" Minato asked grinning.
Naruto did a double take before he looked at him skeptically.
"Don't you love this village? You were willing to sacrifice yourself and your family to protect it."
Minato sighed.
That was when I thought the village was worth saving. I saw the decay and the potential for destruction. If I'd have known how deep it ran, I'd have let Kyuubi level this damned place. Now, I guess we'll have to do this. Anyone else in on the plan?" He asked.
"Just Shino and Kiba. We have others we're going to recruit, but at the moment, we're waiting until we have the prime moment to level the place and start over."
Minato nodded and smirked.
"I'll say it again. I'm in."
"Count me in to, Naruto."
Everyone turned to the door and Minato's jaw dropped.
"Kakashi? Why? Why would you want to level the village?"
The cyclops grinned.
"Simple. This vilage spat on your name and mistreated your son. And Danzo blocked each of my attempts to adopt him. And your wanting to level it, and it seems like fun. So, count me in as well."
Naruto grinned evily.
"This is going to get good." He said.
The other grinned. If anything, they had just added to the amount of destruction that Konoha would feel. They would know what true pain was soon enough.
* * *
This chapter was used to help expand the plot and to explain a few things. It has a bit more a filler edge to it, but it's well worth it and it is a chapter I'm proud of as well. Remember, please review, and, if you see Chuck Norris, he sees you. If you don't see him, than God have mercy on you. Stay Pervy!
Sage out!
10. Long over due AN
I want to start off by apologizing. I know I haven't updated in over a year, but between my pre deployment work up last year followed by my deployment, which thankfully is nearing its end, I haven't had a chance. I'm sorry for not updating and ask that you please bear with me. I will start updating in the next two months, starting with Konoha Will Fall and move on. Again, I'm so sorry and I will update as soon as I get back from Afghanistan in the next two months. Thank you all for your support.
End file.
| fanfiction |
MATTER OF GENDER PARITY
We have come a long way in terms of progression as a society, yet, today one half of the world's population lags behind. Since 2006, World Economic Forum (WEF) has been coming out with a report on gender disparities and tracking the progress of women and the gap between men and women across four key areas – health and survival, educational attainment, economic participation and political empowerment. Data of over a decade from the Global Gender Gap Index reveals that the progress is slow and women are far behind their counterparts in all the key parameters considered, and not likely to catch up in the near future.
The Index ranks countries based on how much the gap between women and men has declined according to the various parameters. The 2016 report covers 145 countries and India ranks 108. The Nordic countries – Iceland, Norway, Sweden and Ireland top the Index. Of India's neighbours — Bangladesh, China and Sri Lanka — are ranked higher than India.
The only good news for India is its performance in political empowerment of women, with a ranking of nine, jumping six positions in the sub index compared to last year. India is ranked second in the Asia and Pacific region in political empowerment. This is because India has more than doubled the percentage of women in ministerial positions from 9% to 22%. However, India's progress is disappointing in all other sub indices. India is ranked 125 in educational attainment and 143 in health and survival – in the bottom three. Despite a fairly high economic growth with GDP growing at 6% over the past decade, India ranks a poor 139 in economic participation and opportunity, which considers labour force participation and wage equality. There has been a huge decline in female labour force participation from 34% to 27%. The male-female wage gap has been stagnant at 50% with a 27% gender pay gap in white-collar jobs.
Though India shows an upward trend in terms of women in leadership positions, it is too little to be proud of. The biggest reason why women occupy fewer leadership positions is the lack of support after marriage. Traditional gender role that stereotypes women as nurturers is deeply embedded in the Indian society and culture. Women end up compromising their career for family. The other reason is workplace biases, lack of well developed organisational policies that encourages gender equality and supports women to advance their careers. Also, work demands that conflicts with family responsibilities impede women's career progression.
Although technological advances have made it possible to stay connected and telecommuting easy, much needs to be done in the development of organisational policies addressing work family balance. Fostering gender equality also requires a change in the mind-sets of individuals within organizations. Biases both conscious and unconscious should be eliminated at all levels.
The leaders of corporate India must take steps to establish parity in gender roles and abolish gender inequality at the workplace. Mechanisms must be put in place to create a space where employees can speak freely about discrimination they face at work.
India has to seriously consider focusing on measures to attain gender equality as women are discriminated at all levels of society, with socially prescribed roles preventing them from realising their potential. There is an alarming rise in crimes against women which is disturbing; as progress and development should result is well being and equal opportunity for all.
To achieve economic leadership, women need be brought to parity with men. Policy initiatives that provide women access to education, health, financial and digital inclusion and equal economic opportunities will pave way in this direction. Women should be sensitized to positive effects of economic independence and given the requisite professional training. An attitudinal shift is important for women to be considered as equal within their homes and outside, in society at large.
Blog by Vandana Madhavkumar | slim_pajama |
the distribution of prime numbers shares many properties with the distribution of numbers that are representable as a sum of two squares , an analogy that is occasionally employed to obtain model problems for questions about the primes .
let us consider the distributions of the two sets in arithmetic progressions .
starting with the average orders , we have on the one hand the prime number theorem , asserting that @xmath5 . for the set @xmath6 of sums of two squares on the other hand , landau @xcite proved an analogous asymptotic in 1908 , namely @xmath7 where @xmath8 . turning towards more general arithmetic progressions ,
let @xmath9 and @xmath10 be coprime integers , then the primes congruent to @xmath11 satisfy @xmath12 . building on landau s result and the analogy to primes , prachar @xcite proved in the 1950s that , when furthermore @xmath13 holds , sums of two squares show the following behaviour @xmath14 where @xmath15 the factor @xmath16 describes that the density of sums of two squares is twice as high in the progression @xmath17 as it is in @xmath18 . from pairs
@xmath19 that are not coprime , one needs to remove those choices from consideration that lead to whole progressions entirely lying outside the set @xmath6 .
examples are integers @xmath20 such that @xmath21 , which are never a sum of two squares , or , numbers of the form @xmath22 , which can only be a sum of two squares when @xmath23 .
when excluding such classes @xmath11 , the constant @xmath24 only needs to be adapted by restricting the product over @xmath25 to primes dividing @xmath26 .
thus , both sets , the primes and the sums of two squares , show some uniformity in the distribution in residue classes once one excludes residue classes that for obvious reason contain too few elements .
it is natural to ask whether this uniformity carries further : is , for instance , the distribution uniform enough to determine asymptotically the density of solutions to linear equations within these sets ?
more precisely , we are interested in an asymptotic for correlations of the form @xmath27 where the @xmath28 are affine linear forms and where the arithmetic function @xmath29 is either the characteristic function @xmath30 of sums of two squares , or it is chosen to be the characteristic function of primes .
green and tao studied these correlations in the case of the primes in @xcite .
they replaced for this purpose the sparse set of primes by a weighted version of asymptotic density @xmath31 which is given by the von mangoldt function .
we shall _ not _ normalise the characteristic function @xmath30 in an analogous way , but instead consider the intrinsically weighted function that is given by the representation function of sums of two squares , @xmath32 .
counting lattice points in a circle of radius @xmath33 immediately shows that the representation function has indeed an asymptotic density given by @xmath34 . as we will see , the nilpotent hardy - littlewood method which green and tao developed to handle linear correlations among the primes can also be employed in the case of the representation function @xmath35 . instead of restricting attention to representations as sums of two squares , the slightly more general case of representation by a positive definite binary quadratic form @xmath36 will be considered .
the corresponding representation function is then given by @xmath37 . throughout the paper ,
we write @xmath38 $ ] for the set of numbers @xmath39 and @xmath40 for @xmath41 .
we let @xmath42 denote the @xmath43-adic valuation .
if @xmath44 is a finite set , we use the expectation notation @xmath45 to abbreviate @xmath46 .
a linear correlation is defined along a system @xmath47 of affine linear forms .
such a system may be written as @xmath48 , for a linear map @xmath49 .
we regard @xmath49 as fixed , while @xmath50 may , for instance , depend on @xmath4 .
thus , all implicit constants in asymptotic notation , such as @xmath51 , @xmath52 and @xmath53 , are allowed to depend on the coefficients of the linear map @xmath54 , the dimensions @xmath55 and @xmath56 of the domain and the target space of @xmath57 , and on the discriminants of the forms @xmath58 .
the nilpotent hardy - littlewood method comprises a scheme that allows to obtain for any given arithmetic function @xmath59 with sufficiently quasi - random behaviour an asymptotic for the expression @xmath60 where @xmath61 is convex and satisfies @xmath62 $ ] for each @xmath63 . we proceed to describe the basic set - up for the method .
there are two main requirements on @xmath59 .
one is that @xmath59 has small gowers - uniformity norms ( see section [ application_section ] ) and the other is that one can find a majorant @xmath64 such that 1 .
( _ majorant property _ )
the point - wise estimate @xmath65 is satisfied for an absolute constant @xmath66 independent of @xmath67 , 2 .
( _ density condition _ )
@xmath59 has positive relative density in @xmath68 in the sense that + @xmath69 , 3 .
( _ pseudorandomness _ ) @xmath68 is a pseudorandom measure .
a _ pseudorandom measure _ resembles a true probability measure .
apart from requiring its total mass to be approximately @xmath31 , that is , @xmath70 , there are two further defining conditions for a pseudorandom measure : the linear forms condition and the correlation condition .
each of them places some independence requirements upon @xmath68 .
the linear forms condition for instance requires @xmath71 to hold for certain systems of affine linear forms . once in possession of such a pseudorandom majorant ,
a number of tools are available .
we will describe them as we encounter them .
regarding the first condition on @xmath59 , which was the smallness of certain gowers - uniformity norms , there is an explicit ( and quite strong ) necessary condition that has to be satisfied : @xmath59 must be equidistributed in residue classes to small moduli .
the results quoted at the beginning of this introduction show that neither the characteristic function @xmath72 , nor its weighted version @xmath73 meet this requirement .
in such a situation , it may be possible to decompose the function @xmath59 into a sum of functions that are more uniformly behaved and consider each of these functions separately .
this decomposition is known as @xmath74-trick and will be carried out in section [ w - trick ] . in section [ rep - majorant - section ]
we construct a majorant for the representation function attached to a primitive form @xmath75 .
this majorant will be slightly modified in accordance to the @xmath74-trick in section [ w - trick ] . in section [ linear - forms - and - correlation - conditions ] we check that our majorant is indeed pseudorandom . in the course of the minor arc analysis , which starts in section [ non - corr - intro ] , we observe that polynomial subsequences of @xmath76-equidistributed linear nilsequences are still reasonably equidistributed
. see proposition [ equid_subsequences ] below .
this result will be deduced from the quantitative equidistribution theory green and tao worked out in @xcite . in connection with their factorisation theorem (
* thm 1.19 ) , it could prove a useful tool for the minor arc analysis of a wider range of arithmetic problems . due to the quite complex foundations of the green - tao methods it proved not feasible to provide a self - contained account of it here .
this paper therefore strongly depends on @xcite .
it furthermore relies on results about the divisor function from @xcite , which will be used in the construction of the pseudorandom majorants . in @xcite
a pseudorandom majorant for the normalised divisor function @xmath77 has been constructed . here
we shall combine this majorant with a sieving majorant to obtain a pseudorandom majorant for the function @xmath78 which counts the number of representations of @xmath20 by a primitive positive definite binary quadratic form ; results for the non - primitive case are immediate corollaries . with this majorant at hand , we obtain , employing the machinery from @xcite in combination with the inverse theorem for the gowers - uniformity norms @xcite , an asymptotic for the representation function @xmath79 evaluated along systems of linear equations : [ main thm ] let @xmath80 be primitive positive definite binary quadratic forms .
let @xmath81 be a system of affine linear forms such that no two forms @xmath3 and @xmath82 are affinely dependent .
suppose that the coefficients of the linear part @xmath54 are bounded and that @xmath83^d$ ] is a convex body such that @xmath84^t$ ] .
then @xmath85 where @xmath86 and @xmath87 } \frac{\rho_{f_i,\psi_i(a)}(p^{m})}{p^{m}}~,\ ] ] with @xmath88 denoting the local number of representations of @xmath89 by @xmath75 , that is , @xmath90
^ 2:f(x , y ) \equiv a { \;(\mathrm{mod}\,q)}\}|~.\ ] ] theorem [ main thm ] extends previous results by heath - brown @xcite and improvements thereof by browning and de la bretche @xcite , where the case of sums of two squares , @xmath91 , for @xmath92 , together with systems @xmath93 was considered .
we emphasise , however , that , in contrast to the results from @xcite and @xcite , we unfortunately do not obtain explicit error terms in our asymptotic .
the most interesting case of correlation along a system of affine linear forms is certainly the ` infinite complexity ' case of @xmath94 corresponding to the prime - tuples problem . in this case
the linear forms involved are not independent and thus an asymptotic would give very strong information on the regularity of distribution of the function involved .
results of this type lie out of reach of the green - tao hardy - littlewood method .
it is worth mentioning at this point a recent related result of henriot @xcite , which provides a correct order upper bound for @xmath95 , where @xmath96 belongs to a family of functions that does include @xmath97 , and where the @xmath98 are coprime irreducible polynomials .
the bounds in this result are independent of the discriminant of the polynomial @xmath99 .
theorem [ main thm ] has some natural arithmetic consequences . analysing the frequency of @xmath100-term arithmetic progressions in sums of two squares ( weighted by the representation function )
may be viewed as a special case of studying the ( average ) number of simultaneous zeros of a pair of diagonal quadratic equations , namely solutions to @xmath101 while the respective system for @xmath102-term progressions may easily be handled by the circle method , heath - brown mentions in @xcite that in order to give an asymptotic for the number of @xmath100-term arithmetic progressions in sums of two squares `` it would appear that one would require a version of the ` kloosterman refinement ' for a double integral '' .
browning and munshi @xcite have succeeded in showing that the circle method can in fact be employed to study any pair of quadratic equations in @xmath103 variables that takes the form @xmath104 previously , the classical hardy - littlewood method had been successfully applied to pairs of diagonal quadratic equations in at least @xmath105 variables : let @xmath106 be integral diagonal quadratic forms such that for all real @xmath107 , not both zero , @xmath108 is an indefinite form in at least @xmath109 variables .
then there is some positive constant @xmath110 such that the number of simultaneous integral zeros of @xmath111 and @xmath112 in the box @xmath113 is given by @xmath114 our result , which is in fact an analogue of ( * ? ? ?
* thm.1.8 ) , considers certain highly singular systems of quadratic equations in @xmath115 or more variables .
[ thm - application ] let @xmath116 and let @xmath0 be primitive positive definite binary quadratic forms
. for an integer @xmath117 , let @xmath118 be a full rank matrix whose row - span over @xmath119 contains no non - trivial element with less than @xmath102 non - zero entries .
define a height function @xmath120 by @xmath121 then the simultaneous zeros of the system of quadratic forms @xmath122 satisfies the following asymptotic : @xmath123 where @xmath124 and @xmath125 we conclude this introduction with the fairly short deduction of theorem [ thm - application ] .
the number of simultaneous zeros of bounded height of the forms @xmath126 can be reinterpreted in terms of representation functions : @xmath127^t : az=0 } } \prod_{j=1}^t r_{f_j}(z_j)~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] to turn the latter expression into the form of a linear correlation , we may follow @xcite : pick a basis for the integer lattice @xmath128 since @xmath129 has full rank , @xmath130 has rank @xmath131 , and thus there are linear forms @xmath132 such that @xmath133 this system of forms has finite complexity , as otherwise we would find @xmath134 such that @xmath135 for some non - zero integers @xmath136 .
hence , @xmath137 which implies by the full rank assumption on @xmath129 that the row - space of @xmath129 contains a non - trivial element with less than @xmath102 non - zero entries , a contradiction .
thus , takes a form to which theorem [ main thm ] applies and we obtain : @xmath138^t ) } } \prod_{j=1}^t r_{f_j}(\psi_j(n_j ) ) \\ & = { \operatorname{vol}}({\mathbb{r}}_{{\geqslant}0}^d \cap \psi^{-1}([0,n^2]^t ) ) \frac{(2\pi)^t}{\sqrt{|d_1\dots d_t| } } \prod_p \beta_p + o(n^{2d})~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] note that @xmath139^t ) ) & = |\{n \in { \mathbb{z}}^{d } : \psi(n)\in [ 0,n^2]^t \}| + o(n^{2d})\\ & = |\{z \in \{1,\dots n^2\}^t : az=0 \}| + o(n^{2d})~,\end{aligned}\ ] ] which justifies to define @xmath140 .
it remains to interpret the local factors @xmath141 in terms of @xmath142 .
if @xmath143 is sufficiently large , the @xmath144-basis @xmath145}$ ] of @xmath130 gives rise to a basis of @xmath146 , whence @xmath147 ^ 2 : f_j(x_{2j-1},x_{2j } ) \equiv \psi_j(a ) { \;(\mathrm{mod}\,p^m ) } \}| \\ & = \frac { |\{x \in ( { \mathbb{z}}/p^m{\mathbb{z}})^{2 t } : f_1(x ) \equiv \dots \equiv
f_s(x ) \equiv 0 { \;(\mathrm{mod}\,p^m ) } \}|}{(p^m)^{2t - s}}~,\end{aligned}\ ] ] which yields @xmath148 for all primes @xmath43 .
recall that a binary quadratic form @xmath149 is primitive when @xmath150 and that its discriminant is given by @xmath151 . throughout this paper all binary quadratic forms will be assumed to be positive definite .
the number of ways a form @xmath75 represents an integer @xmath20 is described by the _ representation function _
@xmath152 , defined by @xmath153 in order to make use of some multiplicative properties of @xmath79 , we introduce the function @xmath154 , defined by @xmath155 where @xmath156 denotes the number of automorphs of binary forms of discriminant @xmath157 .
we have @xmath158 according to @xmath159 , @xmath160 or @xmath161 , respectively .
closely related to @xmath162 is the function @xmath163 which counts up to the factor @xmath156the number of ways @xmath20 is represented by any equivalence class of forms of discriminant @xmath164 .
we define @xmath165 by @xmath166 where @xmath167 runs through a complete system of representatives of primitive forms of discriminant equal to @xmath168 .
the function @xmath165 majorises @xmath162 and has some properties that suggests it may be a good candidate to start the construction of a pseudorandom majorant with : on the one hand , the number @xmath169 of equivalence classes of primitive forms of discriminant @xmath157 is finite , and thus the average order of @xmath165 is comparable to the average order of @xmath162 ; on the other hand , @xmath165 has an arithmetic representation as a divisor sum , a structure that proved to be very suited for the construction of a pseudorandom majorant in both @xcite and @xcite .
let @xmath75 be a primitive positive definite form of discriminant @xmath157 .
then @xmath170 for @xmath171 and @xmath172 . for positive integers @xmath20 coprime to @xmath157 , @xmath173 has the representation @xmath174 as a character sum , where the symbol is a kronecker symbol . for general @xmath20 ,
we pick up another factor which depends only on @xmath175 and the parities of the @xmath176 in @xmath177 .
we will see in corollary [ r_d - corollary ] that @xmath178 holds for all @xmath179 .
recall that the kronecker symbol is only non - zero when its entries are coprime and that furthermore the following lemma holds ; see for instance ( * ? ? ?
* thm . 1.14 ) .
if @xmath180 is a non - zero integer , then there is a unique character @xmath181 such that @xmath182 for odd @xmath43 coprime to @xmath157 .
let @xmath183 denote the set of primes for which @xmath184 .
note that this is the union of the primes in a collection of progressions modulo @xmath157 . by multiplicativity
we have @xmath185 where @xmath186 we denote by @xmath187 the set of primes for which @xmath188 .
thus , a square - free number @xmath20 is represented by some form of discriminant @xmath168 only if all of its prime factors belong to @xmath187 or divide @xmath168 .
we can say a little more about the sets @xmath187 and @xmath189 : since @xmath190 is a non - principal character taking values @xmath191 , the fact that @xmath192 implies that both @xmath187 and @xmath189 are the union of the primes in exactly @xmath193 progressions modulo @xmath157 .
thus , the square - free numbers that are coprime to @xmath157 and representable by some form of discriminant @xmath157 are those numbers whose prime factors belong to a set comprising asymptotically half the prime numbers . as a final piece of notation , given any set @xmath194 of primes ,
let @xmath195 denote the set of natural numbers all of whose prime factors belong to @xmath194 .
thus we may write @xmath196 the key observation for the construction of our majorant for @xmath162 is that according to and it suffices to find two majorants separately : one for a divisor - type function related to @xmath197 , and one for the characteristic function of numbers without @xmath198-prime factors . writing @xmath199 , the characteristic function of interest is @xmath200 .
the shifts by square factors of the form @xmath201 only influence the asymptotic density by a constant factor and may be taken care of separately .
if @xmath68 is a majorant for @xmath197 and if @xmath202 is a majorant for @xmath203 , then @xmath204 is majorised by @xmath205 the majorant @xmath202 for @xmath206 will be chosen as a sieving majorant .
in fact , the approach via sieve weights in @xcite proves universal enough to apply here too without much change . concerning @xmath68
, we make use of the results on the divisor function from @xcite .
since neither @xmath197 nor @xmath207 has asymptotic density , we proceed to determine the average order of @xmath197 and show that @xmath208 .
this suggests to renormalise the factors in the bound on @xmath165 as follows @xmath209 iwaniec @xcite proves via sieve theory that it is indeed the case that @xmath206 is of average order @xmath210 .
this bound , however , is not needed here .
[ order - of - tau_d ] @xmath197 satisfies the asymptotic bounds @xmath211 where the implicit constants may depend on @xmath157 .
we have @xmath212 = \sum_{\substack{d \in { \langle \mathcal p_d \rangle}\\ d{\leqslant}n } } \frac{1}{d } + o(1)~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] to estimate the last sum , observe that on the one hand @xmath213 holds , where the last step follows from the prime number theorem in arithmetic progressions in the form @xmath214 the above remains true when replacing @xmath187 by @xmath215 and @xmath216 by @xmath217 . on the other hand
the following chain of inequalities allows us to deduce a matching lower bound @xmath218 to start with , we recall the divisor function majorant that was constructed in @xcite based on erds s work @xcite . for
any @xmath219 define the truncated divisor function @xmath220 \to { \mathbb{z}}$ ] by @xmath221 and the truncated restricted divisor function @xmath222 \to { \mathbb{z}}$ ] by @xmath223 [ chapter3-divisor - majorant ]
let @xmath224 for some @xmath225 .
let @xmath226 be a parameter and write @xmath227 for the exceptional set of all @xmath228 satisfying either of the following 1 .
@xmath20 is excessively `` rough '' in the sense that it is divisible by some prime power @xmath229 , @xmath230 , with @xmath231 , or 2 .
@xmath20 is excessively `` smooth '' in the sense that if @xmath232 then @xmath233 further , define @xmath234 for @xmath235 , and @xmath236 else . if @xmath237 , write @xmath238 for the set of all products of @xmath239 distinct primes from the interval @xmath240 $ ] .
define @xmath241 \rightarrow { \mathbb{r}}_+$ ] by @xmath242 then @xmath243 for all @xmath244 , provided @xmath67 is large enough .
note that the main term of @xmath245 has low complexity in that it only involves small divisors since all @xmath246 .
restricting all occurrences of divisor functions in @xmath247 to only count divisors in @xmath248 , yields a majorant for @xmath197 of the same order of magnitude as @xmath197 .
we make one further modification and replace the cut - off in the definition of @xmath249 by a smooth cut - off of the form which appears in green and tao s @xmath250-majorant .
this turns out to be advantageous when establishing the linear forms condition .
thus , let @xmath251 be a smooth , even function that is supported on @xmath252 $ ] and satisfies the properties @xmath253 for @xmath254 $ ] and @xmath255 .
define @xmath256 \to { \mathbb{z}}$ ] by @xmath257 then @xmath258 holds . with this definition
we have the following lemma .
let the sets @xmath238 be those which proposition [ chapter3-divisor - majorant ] produces for @xmath259 .
let @xmath260 \to { \mathbb{r}}$ ] be defined by @xmath261 then @xmath262 for all @xmath263 $ ] and there is some constant @xmath66 bounded independently of @xmath67 such that @xmath264 .
we begin by checking the majorisation property . for any
@xmath265 $ ] , write @xmath266 where @xmath267 is the largest factor of @xmath20 that belongs to @xmath248 .
then @xmath268 as required .
the existence of @xmath66 follows as in the proof of ( * ? ? ?
4.2 ) , taking into account that @xmath269 , which is proved in much the same way as lemma [ order - of - tau_d ] .
the next task is to give a majorant @xmath270 for the characteristic function of the set @xmath271 of numbers without @xmath198-prime factors .
adapting the selberg - sieve majorant for primes from @xcite to the set @xmath272 , we aim to remove all integers that have a prime factors @xmath43 from @xmath198 with @xmath273 .
let @xmath274 be a smooth , even function that is supported on @xmath252 $ ] and satisfies the properties @xmath275 and @xmath255 .
define in analogy to ( * ? ? ?
d ) @xmath276 for some constant @xmath277 .
the results from @xcite show that @xmath277 may be chosen such that @xmath278 .
this will play a role in section [ linear - forms - and - correlation - conditions ] .
note that @xmath279 at every @xmath198-prime - free integer @xmath280 , and thus we have the pointwise majorisation @xmath281~.\ ] ]
while it is possible to apply the nilpotent hardy - littlewood method to the representation function @xmath162 itself , it is the aim of this section to show that we can deduce the main theorem from a similar statement about a smoothed version of @xmath162 , that is , a function that agrees with @xmath282 everywhere except on a sparse set where the restricted divisor function @xmath197 shows exceptionally irregular behaviour .
first note that the pointwise bound @xmath283 for @xmath179 of the representation function of any primitive positive definite quadratic form @xmath75 by the divisor function gives the following second moment estimate .
let @xmath284 be primitive positive definite binary quadratic forms and let @xmath285 be a system of affine - linear forms whose linear coefficients are bounded by @xmath286 . if @xmath83^d$ ] is a convex body such that @xmath287^t$ ] , then @xmath288 } r_{f_i}^2(\psi_i(n ) ) \ll_{t , m , l } ( \log n)^{o_t(1)}~.\ ] ] let @xmath289^t\}$ ] . then hlder s inequality yields @xmath290 } r_{f_i}^2(\psi_i(n ) ) & { \leqslant}\prod_{i \in [ t ] } \left ( 1 + { \mathbb{e}}_{n \in { \mathbb{z}}^m \cap k ' } r_{f_i}^{2t}(\psi_i(n ) ) \right)^{1/t } \\ & { \leqslant}\prod_{i \in [ t ] } \left ( 1 + { \mathbb{e}}_{n \in { \mathbb{z}}^m \cap k ' } \tau^{2t}(\psi_i(n ) ) \right)^{1/t}\end{aligned}\ ] ] the remaining steps are standard ; cf .
the proof of ( * ? ? ? * lemma 3.1 ) for details .
the next lemma , which is a combination of some technical lemmas from @xcite , describes an exceptional set for the divisor function , i.e. a sparse set containing those numbers on which the divisor function behaves particularly irregularly .
[ exceptional - set ] let @xmath291 be a parameter and write @xmath292 for the set of all positive @xmath228 satisfying either of the following 1 .
@xmath20 is excessively `` rough '' in the sense that it is divisible by some prime power @xmath229 , @xmath230 , with @xmath231 , or 2 .
@xmath20 is excessively `` smooth '' in the sense that if @xmath232 then @xmath293 3 .
@xmath20 has a large square divisor @xmath294 , @xmath295 .
then @xmath296 see @xcite for the original results or @xcite for their adaptation to this situation .
the previous two lemmas allow us to deduce the main theorem from an equivalent statement about smoothed versions of the representation functions @xmath297 .
the particular smoothed functions we shall work with will be chosen in section [ w - trick ] .
[ bar - reduction ] let @xmath284 be primitive positive definite binary quadratic forms
. for each @xmath298 $ ] , let @xmath299 denote a function that agrees with @xmath297 on @xmath38 \setminus x_0 $ ] , that is , outside the exceptional set of the divisor function , and which further satisfies @xmath300 for all @xmath301 .
if the parameter @xmath302 of the exceptional set is sufficiently large , then the main theorem holds if and only if under the same conditions @xmath303 this follows by the cauchy - schwarz inequality from the previous two lemmas and the bound @xmath304 the above lemma in particular shows that a pseudorandom majorant used in a proof only needs to majorise the function @xmath162 ( or @xmath305 ) on the set of positive unexceptional integers .
we can therefore truncate the summation over dilates of @xmath306 , @xmath307 , in the majorant to those @xmath143 with @xmath308 .
furthermore , we may restrict attention to the case where @xmath309^t$ ]
the transference principle from @xcite , which we shall employ later , only works with functions @xmath59 that are sufficiently quasirandom in the sense that all @xmath310-norms @xmath311 up to some order @xmath312 , determined by the specific system @xmath57 one is working with , are small . a necessary condition for the uniformity norms to be small ,
is that the function @xmath59 at hand is equidistributed in residue classes to small moduli .
this condition is in fact equivalent to requiring that @xmath59 does not correlate with periodic nilsequences of short period , cf . section [ non - corr - intro ] .
as seen at the start of the introduction , the representation function @xmath162 does not have this property . to remove these obstructions to uniformity
, one can try to split the function @xmath162 into a sum of functions each of which does not detect a difference between residue classes to small moduli .
this strategy is known as @xmath74-trick . in
order find a suitable decomposition , we shall investigate the quantities @xmath313 for fixed period @xmath10 and fixed residue class @xmath202 .
define @xmath314 ^ 2 : f(x , y ) \equiv \beta { \;(\mathrm{mod}\,q)}\}|\ ] ] to be the number of representations of @xmath315 , and let @xmath316 ) \subseteq { \mathbb{r}}^2 $ ] .
this is the area enclosed by the ellipse @xmath317 and hence a convex set of volume @xmath318 a volume packing argument , cf .
a ) , yields @xmath319 which proves the following lemma .
[ distribution_in_aps ] let @xmath320 be an arithmetic progression
. then the average of the representation function of @xmath75 along @xmath321 satisfies @xmath322 in view of this lemma it is not surprising that we will make use of several further observations on the densities @xmath323 , which will be established in section [ representation_mod_q ] .
[ ind - of - g ] @xmath324 only depends on the genus class of @xmath75 .
two forms @xmath325 and @xmath326 belong to the same genus if and only if they are locally equivalent in the following sense : for every non - zero integer @xmath143 there exists @xmath327 such that @xmath328 thus , @xmath329 for all positive integers @xmath10 and all @xmath330 $ ] .
the reason this lemma is important to us is that it allows us to consider instead of @xmath162 the following more regularly behaved function in all questions regarding the distribution in residue classes .
let the genus class representation function @xmath331 be defined by @xmath332 where @xmath75 runs through a system of representatives of classes in the genus @xmath333 . under the assumptions of lemma [ distribution_in_aps ]
we then have @xmath334 where @xmath335 denotes the genus that contains @xmath75 .
the aim of this section is to prove the bound on the number of representations of a positive integer @xmath20 by a form of discriminant @xmath157 , which was used to construct the majorant function in section [ rep - majorant - section ] .
the question of whether or not @xmath143 is properly representable by a primitive form of discriminant @xmath157 is linked to the solubility in @xmath336 of the congruence @xmath337 see @xcite or @xcite . if @xmath75 is a form of discriminant @xmath157 that represents @xmath143 properly , then @xmath75 is equivalent to @xmath338 , where @xmath339 for some integer @xmath312 . consider the solutions @xmath340 to that satisfy @xmath341 .
these form a complete set of incongruent solutions modulo @xmath342 . those solutions among them for which @xmath343 is primitive are in one - to - one correspondence with the distinct classes of primitive forms that represent @xmath143 properly .
let @xmath75 be a primitive form and suppose there are coprime @xmath344 and @xmath345 such that @xmath346 .
choose a solution @xmath347 to @xmath348 .
then @xmath349 is an equivalent form with leading coefficient @xmath143 . choosing different solutions @xmath350 and @xmath351 to @xmath352
, we have @xmath353 and @xmath354 for some non - zero integer @xmath56 , which implies that the middle coefficient @xmath20 is unique modulo @xmath342 .
in particular @xmath355 if and only if @xmath356 .
observe that in the other direction every solution @xmath340 to @xmath357 yields an equivalence class @xmath358 of forms of discriminant @xmath157 that represents @xmath143 properly . in order to determine the number of classes of forms that represent @xmath143 , we are interested in two pieces of information : 1 . the number of solutions @xmath336 to @xmath357 , and 2 .
how many of these solutions yield _ primitive _ forms @xmath359 of discriminant @xmath157 . a third necessary piece of information regards the number of proper representations by a fixed class of forms : any two proper representations of @xmath143 by a fixed form @xmath75 are related by an automorph . thus each class @xmath360 of forms equivalent to @xmath75 represents @xmath143 properly in @xmath156 different ways , where @xmath156 is the number of automorphs of forms of discriminant @xmath157 . in order to analyse the the number of solutions to , we introduce the related irreducible quadratic polynomial @xmath361 , which has discriminant @xmath362 .
let @xmath363 : p(k ) \equiv 0 { \;(\mathrm{mod}\,a ) } \}|$ ] denote the number of zeros modulo @xmath9 .
the counting function @xmath364 is multiplicative by the chinese remainder theorem , which leaves us to determine @xmath364 at prime powers .
if @xmath365 , then ( cf .
* thm 12.3.4 ) ) @xmath366 in the remaining case of primes @xmath367 , hensel s lemma implies that @xmath368 for @xmath367 we will show below that , in fact , there are no primitive forms that properly represent an integer @xmath143 with @xmath369 for some prime @xmath43 .
if @xmath143 is coprime to @xmath157 , then each solution to @xmath357 yields a primitive form , and @xmath370 is directly linked to the number @xmath371 of classes of primitive forms that represent @xmath143 _ properly _ : @xmath372 .
we turn to the case where @xmath373 .
if there is a prime @xmath43 dividing @xmath374 to an odd power , then solutions to @xmath375 yield primitive forms if and only if each such @xmath43 divides both @xmath157 and @xmath376 to the same power .
considering the set of forms arising from solutions to , we can , if @xmath377 , retrieve the number of primitive forms among them via an inclusion - exclusion argument . indeed , when @xmath378 , then @xmath379 is properly represented by the form @xmath380 of discriminant @xmath381 .
note that automorphs of forms of the first kind are also automorphs of forms of the second kind and vice versa .
let @xmath382 and suppose that @xmath383 , @xmath384 .
we begin by analysing the largest range for @xmath176 , @xmath385 .
when @xmath386 is odd , then there are , as seen above , no primitive forms that represent @xmath387 properly .
suppose next that @xmath386 is even and define @xmath388 this quantity counts the number of solutions to @xmath389 for which @xmath390 for some @xmath312 not divisible by @xmath43 .
the expression for @xmath391 simplifies to @xmath392 which is seen to be @xmath393 by hensel s lemma ( note that @xmath394 ) .
thus , no power @xmath395 of a discriminant - prime with @xmath396 is properly representable by a primitive form .
what remains are even powers @xmath397 , @xmath398 and the case @xmath399 . in the former case
, any solution to @xmath400 with @xmath401 satisfies @xmath402 .
hence there are @xmath403 choices for @xmath404 . in the latter case
, @xmath402 holds if and only if @xmath405 , hence there are @xmath406 choices in this case . in total , the number @xmath407 of primitive forms properly representing @xmath143 is given by @xmath408 where @xmath43 and @xmath10 run over primes , and where the factor @xmath409 takes account of the fact that for every solution @xmath410 $ ] , @xmath411 is the unique other solution determining the same class of forms . collecting everything together ,
we obtain the following explicit expression for @xmath173 : [ r_d - corollary ] the total number of representations ( proper and improper ones ) of an integer @xmath143 by classes of primitive forms of discriminant @xmath157 satisfies @xmath412 where @xmath413 run over primes .
recall that the representation function @xmath414 of a genus class @xmath333 was defined to be @xmath415 , where @xmath167 runs through a system of representatives .
this function is of interest since by lemma [ distribution_in_aps ] and lemma [ ind - of - g ] , it has the same distribution in residue classes as any function @xmath162 with @xmath416 .
we aim to reduce the problem of determining the number of representations of an integer @xmath20 by a specific genus class to that of counting certain representations of the factor @xmath417 of @xmath20 that is coprime to @xmath157 .
this is advantageous for the following reason .
the values in @xmath418 that are represented by a form @xmath75 with @xmath419 form a _ coset _ of the subgroup in @xmath418 that is generated by the values the principal form represents , c.f .
* lemma 2.24 ) .
thus , different genera represent disjoint sets of values in @xmath418 .
this means that the character sum expression of the function @xmath165 which counts representations of all classes in @xmath169 yields an arithmetic expression for the function @xmath420 which just considers those classes of genus @xmath333 .
indeed , let @xmath421 denote the non - zero residues modulo @xmath157 that are represented by forms in @xmath333 .
then for @xmath417 _ coprime _ to @xmath157 we have @xmath422 for an arbitrary positive integer @xmath20 , let @xmath423 be the factorisation for which @xmath417 is coprime to @xmath157 and @xmath424 is the largest divisor @xmath425 such that @xmath426 is a square .
this factorisation is chosen in such a way that corollary [ r_d - corollary ] implies @xmath427 , which is of interest because in @xmath428 the factor that is not coprime to @xmath157 is bounded .
let @xmath429 be a primitive form properly representing @xmath428 . then , since @xmath430 , we have @xmath431 and hence @xmath432 by primitiveness of the form . since further @xmath433 , we have @xmath434 note that all forms involved are primitive . thus , we can decompose the representation into separate ones for the coprime factors @xmath417 and @xmath424 .
we aim to use this multiplicative property of representation by primitive forms of fixed discriminant in conjunction with the following lemma .
[ cosets ] the principle genus @xmath435 is a subgroup of the class group ( a finite and abelian group ) .
the genera form cosets of @xmath435 in the class group .
see e.g. ( * ? ? ?
* , thm 2.8 ) . with the help of this lemma we have @xmath436 if the residue @xmath437 is representable by a form of discriminant @xmath157 , then let @xmath438 denote the unique genus class that represents @xmath437 .
we may use the arithmetic representation of @xmath439 to obtain the following lemma .
[ general - r_g ] given @xmath440 as above and a genus class @xmath333 , then @xmath441
this section contains several results on the densities @xmath443 , which will be established using results from the previous section and the following proposition .
[ r_d(f)-major_arc_estimate ] let @xmath444 be a progression such that @xmath445 and @xmath446 for any @xmath447 .
then @xmath448 where @xmath449 .
we defer the proof to the end of the section .
the following lemma is a rather immediate consequence .
[ rho - approximate ] let @xmath10 be a positive integer that is divisible by @xmath157 and let @xmath330 $ ] be such that @xmath450 for any @xmath451 .
then @xmath452 where @xmath453 . by lemma [ distribution_in_aps ] and lemma [ general - r_g ] we have for @xmath454 @xmath455 by proposition [ r_d(f)-major_arc_estimate ] and the class number formula the result follows . with the help of the previous lemma and a result of stewart @xcite
, we obtain the following more explicit information on the densities @xmath443 .
[ rho - bounds ] 1 .
let @xmath456 be a prime that divides @xmath157 and suppose that @xmath457
. then @xmath458 as @xmath202 and @xmath176 vary . if @xmath459 and @xmath457 , then @xmath460 for any @xmath461 2 . if @xmath462 then we have for @xmath463 @xmath464 3
. let @xmath43 be any prime
. then @xmath465 holds .
\(a ) we may assume @xmath466 .
let @xmath467 be a residue representable by @xmath75 and let @xmath468 be such that @xmath469 and @xmath470 for any prime divisor @xmath471 of @xmath157 . by choice of @xmath472
we have @xmath473 for @xmath471 .
the previous lemma yields @xmath474 whence the first part of ( a ) follows by multiplicativity of @xmath364 . define @xmath475 to be such that @xmath476 for any prime divisor @xmath477 of @xmath157 and @xmath478 .
then , by lemma [ rho - approximate ] , @xmath479 the proof of part ( b ) is almost identical .
let @xmath467 be a residue representable by @xmath75 and let @xmath468 be such that @xmath469 and @xmath470 for any prime @xmath367
. then @xmath480 and @xmath335 is the unique genus class representing @xmath481 .
hence @xmath482 , as the principal genus represents @xmath31 .
since @xmath468 is representable by @xmath75 , there is some @xmath143 such that @xmath483 , hence , in particular @xmath484 .
two applications of lemma [ rho - approximate ] yield @xmath485 part ( c ) follows from ( * ? ? ?
* corollary 2 ) , which implies , as shown in ( * ? ? ?
* lemma 31 ) , that any quadratic polynomial @xmath486 of discriminant @xmath487 satisfies @xmath488 consider for fixed @xmath489 the polynomial @xmath490 of discriminant @xmath491 .
there are less than @xmath492 values of @xmath493 for which @xmath494 .
thus @xmath495 an immediate corollary , which will be essential for the @xmath74-trick , states that the @xmath364-densities are constant for lifts of non - zero residues @xmath496 to higher powers of @xmath43 : [ lifted - densities ] let @xmath43 be a prime and suppose that @xmath497 and that @xmath498 .
then @xmath499 for all @xmath500 .
this follows from part ( a ) and ( b ) of lemma [ rho - bounds ] .
multiplicativity and the assumption on @xmath472 yield @xmath501 where @xmath502 , and @xmath10 and @xmath503 have the same prime divisors .
we will estimate the mean value of @xmath504 by the hyperbola method .
recall that @xmath505 is a character to the modulus @xmath506 ( cf .
* ch.9.3 ) ) and let @xmath507 be the character to the modulus @xmath508 that is induced by @xmath505 .
( note that @xmath10 is divisible by @xmath506 . )
thus @xmath509 is only non - zero when @xmath20 is coprime to @xmath10 .
then @xmath510 where the cut - off @xmath44 will be chosen as @xmath511 .
we begin with the _ large divisors_. writing @xmath512 and denoting its dual group by @xmath513 , we have @xmath514 since @xmath515 , this equals @xmath516 the character @xmath517 is a non - principal character to the modulus @xmath10 unless @xmath190 is the character @xmath518 induced by @xmath505 .
we consider the cases @xmath519 and @xmath520 separately . for @xmath520
, we have @xmath521 if @xmath522 , we have @xmath523 the second term is seen to be small , that is @xmath524 , by partial summation .
the first sum , @xmath525 , is a partial sum of the convergent series @xmath526 bounding their difference sum by partial summation , we obtain @xmath527 hence , the large divisors satisfy @xmath528 concerning the _ small divisors _ sum , we obtain @xmath529 putting things together , we obtain the estimate @xmath530 which proves the result .
the aim of this section is to find a decomposition of the function @xmath162 into a sum of functions that are equidistributed in residue classes to small moduli . in the case of primes , see @xcite , this was achieved by defining @xmath531 to be the product of primes up to @xmath532 , where @xmath533 is a slowly growing function . for @xmath20 with @xmath534
the von mangoldt function then splits as @xmath535 and it suffices to consider the functions @xmath536 , @xmath537 , which are equidistributed in residue classes to small moduli . in the case of the divisor function , the most natural decomposition makes use of the restricted divisor function that only counts divisors coprime to @xmath74 ( and is thus likely to be a quasirandom function ) : define @xmath538 then @xmath539 where @xmath540 runs over all integers entirely composed of primes @xmath541 .
the second factor , @xmath542 , is almost periodic .
indeed , let @xmath543 be such that @xmath544 then any number @xmath20 that is divisible by some @xmath540 as above with @xmath545 for some @xmath546 belongs to the exceptional set @xmath292 from lemma [ exceptional - set ] .
choosing @xmath547 one can achieve that the second factor is a periodic function of period @xmath548 , when adjusting the values of @xmath549 at exceptional integers .
this way , it suffices to consider the functions of the form @xmath550 for non - zero residues @xmath551 $ ] .
in fact , observing that @xmath552 for unexceptional values of @xmath9 , we essentially consider functions of the form @xmath553 . in the case of representation functions a very similar @xmath74-trick works .
we use the same choice of @xmath548 as in the divisor function case above .
let @xmath554 be the set of residues @xmath555 such that @xmath556 and such that @xmath557 .
thus @xmath554 contains only residue classes that are representable by @xmath75 , and every @xmath265 $ ] which fails to satisfy the second condition , that is , for which @xmath558 holds , belongs to the exceptional set @xmath292 from lemma [ exceptional - set ] .
let @xmath559 and define @xmath560 \to { \mathbb{r}}$ ] by @xmath561 thus , by lemma [ distribution_in_aps ] @xmath562 our next aim is to give a major arc estimate for the @xmath74-tricked function @xmath563 : we show that this function has , up to a small error , a constant average on arithmetic progressions whose common difference is small in the sense that it is @xmath532-smooth .
an integer is called @xmath312-_smooth _ , when each of its prime divisors is at most @xmath312 .
[ major_arc_estimate ] let @xmath564 $ ] be a progression of @xmath532-smooth common difference @xmath565 and let @xmath559 .
if @xmath566 has length @xmath567 , then @xmath568 corollary [ lifted - densities ] implies @xmath569 hence the result follows from lemma [ distribution_in_aps ] . finally , we need to slightly adapt our majorant function for @xmath162 to its @xmath74-tricked version .
let @xmath559 .
then lemma [ ind - of - g ] and lemma [ general - r_g ] yield the pointwise majorisation @xmath570 where the last step uses lemma [ rho - approximate ] .
since each function @xmath571 has average order @xmath572 , the last expression is of bounded average order .
thus , the function @xmath573 may be used in place of @xmath165 to run through the construction of the majorant as in section [ rep - majorant - section ] . in view of the results from that section and the remarks at the end of section [ bar - reduction - section ]
we find @xmath574 where @xmath575 with @xmath576 and @xmath577 for the two factors @xmath578 and @xmath579 one shows in the same way as for the original majorants that @xmath580 and @xmath581 are bounded independently of @xmath67 . since
@xmath578 and @xmath579 are given by short divisor sums running over coprime sets of divisors , the average order of their product satisfies @xmath582 indeed , for coprime integers @xmath583 , we have @xmath584 and since the total number of divisors in the sum @xmath585 is @xmath586 , the statement follows . since @xmath587 for some constant @xmath66
, we have proved the following lemma .
let @xmath559 , then @xmath588 for all @xmath589 .
furthermore , there is a positive real number @xmath590 such that @xmath591
define the smoothed representation function @xmath592 \to { \mathbb{r}}$ ] by @xmath593 according to the definition of @xmath554 , this function satisfies the conditions of lemma [ bar - reduction ] .
thus it suffices to study correlations of functions @xmath305 in order to prove the main theorem .
as the main theorem will show , the asymptotic behaviour of these correlations , @xmath594 is determined by the local behaviour of the affine - linear system @xmath57 modulo small primes . by splitting the summation range into progressions of common difference @xmath548 ,
we reduce the task of estimating to an assertion , proposition [ w - red - main - thm ] below , about the uniformity of the @xmath74-tricked representation functions . local factors measuring irregularities of the system @xmath57 modulo small primes will appear in this process .
define for fixed quadratic forms @xmath0 and for an affine - linear system @xmath595 the set of residues @xmath596^d : \psi_i(a ) \in { \mathcal{a}}_{f_i } \text { for all } i \in [ t]\}\\ = & \ { a \in [ { \overline{w}}]^d : \prod_{i=1}^{t } \rho_{f_i , \psi_i(a)}({\overline{w } } ) > 0 \text { and } \prod_{i=1}^{t}\psi_i(a ) \not\equiv 0 { \;(\mathrm{mod}\,p^{v_p({\overline{w } } ) } ) } \ } ~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] notice that any @xmath20 with non - zero contribution to is congruent modulo @xmath548 to an element of this set . for
a fixed element @xmath597 let @xmath598 be the affine - linear system satisfying @xmath599 with @xmath600 $ ] .
thus , @xmath601 , and @xmath3 and @xmath602 only differ in the constant term .
the main result will be deduced from the following proposition .
[ w - red - main - thm ] let @xmath603 be a finite complexity system of forms , let @xmath597 , and let @xmath604 be defined as above .
then @xmath605 where @xmath606^d$ ] is a convex body such that @xmath607^t$ ] . for every @xmath597 ,
define the convex body @xmath608 and note that @xmath609 .
then we can rewrite by means of proposition [ w - red - main - thm ] as follows @xmath610^d } 1_{a \in { \mathcal{a}}_{\psi } } \prod_{i=1}^t \frac{\rho_{f_i,\psi_i(a)}({\overline{w}})}{{\overline{w}}}~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] by the chinese remainder theorem , the above expectation is in fact a product over local densities , that is @xmath611^d } 1_{a \in { \mathcal{a}}_{\psi } } \prod_{i=1}^t \frac{\rho_{f_i,\psi_i(a)}({\overline{w}})}{{\overline{w } } } \\ & = \prod_{p < w(n ) } { \mathbb{e}}_{a \in ( { \mathbb{z}}/p^{\alpha(p)}{\mathbb{z}})^d } \prod_{i=1}^t \frac{\rho_{f_i,\psi_i(a)}(p^{\alpha(p)})}{p^{\alpha(p ) } } 1_{\psi_i(a ) \not\equiv 0 { \;(\mathrm{mod}\,p^{\alpha(p)})}}~,\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath612 . to complete the proof that and indeed imply the main theorem , two further lemmas are required
the first shows that the above factors at primes are essentially local factors : [ localfactorslemma ] let @xmath43 be a prime .
then @xmath613 where @xmath614 is the local factor at @xmath43 .
the second lemma is an estimate of the local factors .
[ beta_p - bound - lemma ] let @xmath615 be a system of affine - linear forms for which no two forms @xmath3 and @xmath82 are affinely dependent , and all of whose linear coefficients are bounded by @xmath286 .
then @xmath616 thus
, @xmath617 a second consequence of this lemma is that @xmath618 for all @xmath619 . for the remaining @xmath620
, we require an upper bound on @xmath141 . since lemma [ rho - bounds ] implies @xmath621 for any @xmath622 , we may deduce from lemma [ localfactorslemma ] the very crude bound @xmath623 .
thus , by , and the two lemmas stated above , we obtain @xmath624 where we used that @xmath625 .
apart form the proof of the two lemmas , we have reduced the task of establishing the main theorem to that of proving proposition [ w - red - main - thm ] .
we conclude this section with the proofs of the lemmas , for the purpose of which the following notion is introduced .
for a given system @xmath626 of affine - linear forms , positive integers @xmath627 and their least common multiple @xmath628 define _ local divisor densities _ by @xmath629 } 1_{\psi_i(n ) \equiv 0 { \;(\mathrm{mod}\,d_i)}}~.\ ] ] we shall show more precisely that @xmath141 satisfies @xmath630 suppose @xmath631 .
we split the sum @xmath632 over residues @xmath9 into two parts according to whether @xmath633 first note that for any @xmath9 with @xmath634 for all @xmath298 $ ] , any lift @xmath635 , @xmath636^{d}$ ] is component - wise divisible to the same powers of @xmath43 as @xmath637 .
hence , corollary [ lifted - densities ] implies @xmath638 thus , the terms of the first type give rise to .
combining part ( a ) , ( b ) and ( c ) of lemma [ rho - bounds ] yields the general bound @xmath639 which shows that terms of the second type are bounded by @xmath640 this proves the above expression for @xmath141 . in order to establish the lemma
, it thus remains to bound , that is , the sum over divisor densities @xmath641 since the coefficients of @xmath49 are bounded , we have @xmath642 which yields @xmath643 recall that @xmath644 for some sufficiently large integer @xmath302 . estimating the number of tuples @xmath645 with @xmath646
crudely by @xmath647 , we conclude that for @xmath648 @xmath649 hence , @xmath650 , which proves the result .
we may assume that @xmath43 is large enough so that @xmath651 .
for such primes lemma [ rho - bounds](c ) yields @xmath652 } \frac{\rho_{f_i , \psi_i(a)}(p^m)}{p^m } \\ & = \lim_{m \to \infty } { \mathbb{e}}_{a \in ( { \mathbb{z}}/p^m{\mathbb{z}})^d } \prod_{i=1}^t \big(1-\chi_{d_i}(p)p^{-1}\big ) \sum_{j{\geqslant}0 } 1_{p^j|\psi_i(a)}\chi_{d_i}(p^j ) \\ & = \sum_{a_1 , \dots , a_t } \alpha(p^{a_1 } , \dots , p^{a_t } ) \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \big(1-\chi_{d_j}(p)p^{-1}\big ) \chi_{d_j}(p^{a_j})~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] by splitting the sum @xmath653 into terms according to whether no @xmath654 is non - zero , exactly one @xmath654 is non - zero , or at least two @xmath654 are non - zero , we obtain for @xmath141 the following .
@xmath655 } \big(1-\chi_{d_j}(p)p^{-1}\big ) \chi_{d_j}(p^{a_j } ) \\ & = \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \big(1-\chi_{d_j}(p)p^{-1}\big ) \bigg\ { 1 + \sum_{i=1}^t \sum_{a_i>0 } \chi_{d_i}(p^{a_i } ) p^{-a_i } \bigg\ } + o\bigg ( \sum_{\substack{a_1,\dots a_t : \\ \text{at least}\\ \text { two } a_i>0 } } \alpha(p^{a_1},\dots p^{a_t } ) \bigg)~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] here we used the fact that , for sufficiently large @xmath43 with respect to @xmath656 and @xmath286 , we have @xmath657 whenever @xmath654 is the only non - zero exponent .
it is easy to see that the main term equals @xmath658 .
concerning the error term , we employ the fact that we are dealing with a finite complexity system of forms .
that is , since no two forms are affinely related , we have for every @xmath43 which is sufficiently large with respect to @xmath659 that @xmath660 whenever at least two @xmath654 are non - zero .
there are at most @xmath661 choices of coefficients @xmath662 that satisfy @xmath663 , and thus the contribution of the error term to the value of @xmath141 may be bounded by @xmath664 this proves the lemma .
to summarise , we reduced the task of proving the main theorem to that of proving proposition [ w - red - main - thm ] .
this will carried out by the nilpotent hardy - littlewood method in the remainder of this paper . in order to apply the method , specifically proposition [ v.neumann ] below , we require for every occurring collection of @xmath665 , @xmath597 , a pseudorandom majorant that simultaneously majorises all @xmath666 .
the following function has the required majorant property : @xmath667 \to { \mathbb{r}}^+~ , \quad \sigma_{(f_i),a}(m ) : = { \mathbb{e}}_{i\in[t ] } \frac{\beta'_{d_i,\gamma}({\overline{w}}m + b_i(a ) ) \nu'_{d_i,\gamma}({\overline{w}}m + b_i(a ) ) } { c_{d_i,\gamma}}~.\end{aligned}\ ] ]
in this section we check that the majorant @xmath668 defined in for a collection of @xmath74-tricked representation functions @xmath669 is ( after a minor technical modification ) indeed a pseudorandom measure , that is , satisfies the linear forms and correlation conditions .
write @xmath670 , let @xmath671 be a prime satisfying @xmath672 , and define @xmath673 \to { \mathbb{r}}^+$ ] by @xmath674 as is seen in ( * ? ? ?
* app.d ) , @xmath675 is @xmath157-pseudorandom if the following two propositions , which are technical reductions of the linear forms and correlation conditions from @xcite , hold true .
[ linear - forms - estimate ] let @xmath676 and let @xmath677^t$ ] be an arbitrary collection of indices . for
any finite complexity system @xmath678 with bounded coefficients @xmath679 and every convex body @xmath680^d$ ] such that @xmath681^t$ ] , the estimate @xmath682 } \nu'_{d_{i_j},\gamma}({\overline{w}}\psi_j(n ) + b_{i_j } ) \beta'_{d_{i_j},\gamma}({\overline{w}}\psi_j(n ) + b_{i_j } ) \\ \nonumber & = \bigg ( 1 + o_d\big(\frac{n^{d - 1 + o_d(\gamma)}}{{\operatorname{vol}}(k)}\big ) + o_d(1 ) \bigg ) \prod_{j = 1}^t c_{d_{i_j},\gamma}\end{aligned}\ ] ] holds , provided @xmath683 was small enough .
[ verification - of - c - condition ] for every @xmath684 there exists a function @xmath685 with bounded moments @xmath686 such that for every interval @xmath687 , every @xmath688 and every @xmath143-tuple @xmath689^{m}$ ] and every choice of ( not necessarily distinct ) @xmath690 we have @xmath691 } \nu'_{d_{i_j},\gamma}({\overline{w}}(n+h_j)+b_{i_j } ) \beta'_{d_{i_j},\gamma}({\overline{w}}(n+h_j)+b_{i_j } ) { \leqslant}\sum_{1 { \leqslant}i < j { \leqslant}m } \sigma_{m_0}(h_i - h_j)~,\ ] ] provided @xmath683 was small enough .
recall that the @xmath74-tricked majorant @xmath692 for @xmath693 has divisor sum structure : @xmath694 the function @xmath190 above is a cut - off .
as no characters appear in this section , there is no danger of confusion .
our strategy to prove the linear forms estimate is as follows .
the first step is to show that in order to asymptotically evaluate we may ignore all terms that arise from divisor densities of _ dependent _ divisibility events , that is , events @xmath695 } 1_{a_i|\psi_i(n)}\}$ ] where @xmath645 are not pairwise coprime .
the second step is the observation that the densities of independent divisibility events are , up to a small error , independent of the system @xmath57 of forms , which will finally allow us to reduce the verification of the linear forms condition to the task of verifying it separately for each of the two factors of each of the majorants in the case where the @xmath696 is the identity function .
the same strategy was used in @xcite the main tool to exploit the divisor sum structure of our majorants is the following simple lemma ( see ( * ? ? ?
* app.a ) for a proof ) .
let @xmath697^d$ ] be a convex body and @xmath57 a system of affine - linear forms .
then @xmath698 } 1_{d_i|\psi_i(n ) } = { \operatorname{vol}}(k ) \alpha ( d_1 , \dots , d_t ) + o(b^{d-1 } { \operatorname{lcm}}(d_1,\dots , d_t))~.\ ] ] in order to remove the above mentioned dependent divisibility events , we need to replace @xmath190 by a multiplicative function .
a way to achieve this has been found by goldston and yildirim and was employed and modified by green and tao @xcite to check the linear forms condition for their majorant function for @xmath74-tricked primes . in this respect , the proof of proposition [ linear - forms - estimate ] below builds on ( * ? ? ?
* app.d ) .
in particular , we shall employ many of the small technical arguments from there .
recall that the cut - off @xmath190 was chosen to be a smooth , compactly supported function satisfying @xmath699 .
let @xmath700 be the modified fourier transform of @xmath190 , defined via @xmath701 fourier inversion , compact support and smoothness of @xmath190 , and partial integration yield the bound @xmath702 for all @xmath703 .
green and tao make use of this rapid decay to truncate the integral representation of @xmath190 as follows .
let @xmath704 , then for any @xmath703 @xmath705 this truncation will later - on simplify the process of swapping integrals and summations .
we proceed to check the linear forms estimate .
define the system @xmath706 } : { \mathbb{z}}^d \to { \mathbb{z}}^t$ ] by @xmath707 .
a prime @xmath43 is called exceptional for @xmath708 if the reduction of @xmath708 modulo @xmath43 has affinely depended forms . for the system defined here ,
all exceptional primes are bounded by @xmath709 .
all information we will use about @xmath708 are the bound on exceptional primes and the fact that it has finite complexity .
consider an arbitrary cross term that appears on the left hand side of when inserting the definition and fixing the parameters @xmath710 for each factor .
that is , we consider @xmath711 } \bigg ( \sum_{\substack{d_j \in \langle { \mathcal{p}}_{d_j } \rangle \\
( d_j , u_jw)=1 } } \sum_{v_j|u_j } 2^{s_j } 1_{d_ju_j|\varphi_j(n ) } \chi\left(\frac{\log d_j}{\log n^{\gamma}}\right ) \bigg ) \times \\ & \qquad \qquad \qquad \sum_{\substack{m_j \in \langle { \mathcal{q}}_{d_i } \rangle \\ ( m_j , w)=1 } } \chi\left(\frac{\log m_j}{\log n^{\gamma}}\right ) \bigg ( \sum_{e_j \in \langle { \mathcal{q}}_{d_i } \rangle } 1_{e_j m_j^2|\varphi_j(n ) } \mu(e_j ) \chi\left(\frac{\log e_j}{\log n^{\gamma}}\right ) \bigg)^2 \\ & = \sum_{\substack{\mathbf{d},\mathbf{m } , \mathbf{e},\mathbf{e ' } } } \bigg ( \prod_{j \in [ t ] } 2^{s_j } \mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) \tau(u_j ) \prod_{\substack{x \in \\ \{d_j , m_j , e_j , e'_j\ } } } \chi\left(\frac{\log x}{\log n^{\gamma}}\right ) \bigg ) { \mathbb{e}}_{n\in { \mathbb{z}}^d \cap k } \prod_{i \in [ t ] } 1_{u_id_im_i^2{\varepsilon}_i|\varphi_i(n)}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath712 and where we denote by bold letters such as @xmath713 any @xmath56-tuple of positive @xmath532-smooth integers which we shall implicitly assume to satisfy the correct multiplicative restrictions , e.g. @xmath714 and @xmath715 in this case . note that @xmath716 for all summands with non - zero contribution . indeed , @xmath717 by definition of the cut - off .
we have @xmath718 by construction of the divisor majorant , as the @xmath719 arise as divisors of certain numbers bounded by @xmath720 ( c.f .
also the remarks following proposition 4.2 of @xcite ) .
therefore , the volume packing lemma implies @xmath721 } 2^{s_i } \tau(u_i ) 1_{u_id_im_i^2{\varepsilon}_i|\varphi_i(n ) } \\ & = \alpha_{\phi}(u_1d_1m_1 ^ 2{\varepsilon}_1 , \dots , u_td_tm_t^2{\varepsilon}_t ) \prod_{i \in [ t ] } 2^{s_i } \tau(u_i ) + o\big(m^{d-1 + o(\gamma)}/{\operatorname{vol}}(k)\big)~,\end{aligned}\ ] ] where the bound @xmath722 allowed to hide the factors @xmath723 in the error term . since @xmath716
, there are only @xmath586 terms all together in all sums of the majorant , including those over @xmath724 , @xmath725 and @xmath719 .
this and the boundedness of @xmath190 imply that the volume packing error term has a total contribution of @xmath726 towards , and we are left to deal with the main term , that is @xmath727 } ) \prod_{j \in [ t ] } 2^{s_j } \mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) \tau(u_j ) \prod_{\substack{x \in \\ \{d_j , m_j , e_j , e'_j\ } } } \chi\!\left(\frac{\log x}{\log n^{\gamma}}\right)~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] next we show that we may assume that each @xmath728 is coprime to @xmath729 for all @xmath730 and that @xmath731 .
these properties yield @xmath732 we shall also abbreviate @xmath733 , implicitly assuming that the conditions @xmath734 on these tuples still apply .
[ claim-1 ] for all choices of @xmath735}$ ] and @xmath736}$ ] we have @xmath737 } ) \prod_{j \in [ t ] } 2^{s_j } \mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) \tau(u_j ) \prod_{\substack{x \in \\ \{d_j , m_j , e_j , e'_j\ } } } \chi\!\left(\frac{\log x}{\log n^{\gamma}}\right)\\ & = \sum_{\substack{\mathbf{d},\mathbf{m},\mathbf{e},\mathbf{e ' } } } \alpha_{\phi}((d_im_i^2{\varepsilon}_i)_{i\in[t ] } ) { \sideset{}{^{\prime}}{\sum}}_{u_1 , \dots , u_t } \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \frac{2^{s_j}\tau(u_j)}{u_j } \mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) \prod_{\substack{x \in \\ \{d_j , m_j , e_j , e'_j\ } } } \chi\!\left(\frac{\log x}{\log n^{\gamma}}\right ) \\ & \qquad + o_d(n^{-(\log \log n)^{-4}})~,\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath738 indicates that the sum is extended only over choices @xmath739 satisfying the coprimality conditions @xmath740 whenever @xmath134 and @xmath731 for @xmath741 $ ] .
we have to bound the contribution from excluded choices of @xmath739 .
any prime divisor of any @xmath728 is at least as large as @xmath742 by construction .
thus , whenever the coprimality conditions fail , the divisibility events we are considering are included in @xmath743 } \phi_i(n)\}$ ] for some @xmath744 . by finite complexity and the bounds on exceptional primes of @xmath708
, we have @xmath745 we will make use of this with the help of cauchy - schwarz . since @xmath746 and since @xmath747 is at most @xmath31 , we can crudely bound the following second moment @xmath748 } \bigg ( \sum_{\substack{\mathbf{d},\mathbf{m},\mathbf{u},\mathbf{e},\mathbf{e ' } } } 1_{u_id_im_i^2{\varepsilon}_i|\psi_i(n ) }
2^{s_i } \tau(u_i ) \prod_{\substack{x \in \\ \{d_j , m_j , e_j , e'_j\ } } } \chi^2\!\left(\frac{\log x}{\log n^{\gamma}}\right ) \bigg)^2 \\ & \ll 2^{2t(\log \log n)^3 } \prod_{i\in[t ] } \bigg ( { \mathbb{e}}_{n \in { \mathbb{z}}^d \cap k } \bigg ( \sum_{\substack{\mathbf{d},\mathbf{m},\mathbf{u},\mathbf{e},\mathbf{e ' } \\ \in [ n^{\gamma}]^t } } 1_{u_id_im_i^2{\varepsilon}_i|\psi_i(n ) } \tau(u_i ) \bigg)^{2 t } \bigg)^{1/t } \\ & \ll ( \log n)^{o(t ) } 2^{2t(\log \log n)^3}~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] the combination of these two bounds proves the claim .
note that the same argument furthermore shows that the main term from claim [ claim-1 ] equals @xmath749 } ) \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \sum_{u_j } \frac{2^{s_j}\tau(u_j)}{u_j }
\mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) \prod_{\substack{x \in \\ \{d_j , m_j , e_j , e'_j\ } } } \chi\!\left(\frac{\log x}{\log n^{\gamma}}\right ) \\ & \qquad + o_d(n^{-(\log \log n)^{-4}})~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] thus , we are left to deal with the main term in .
we proceed by inserting the integral representation of each of the @xmath750 factors involving @xmath190 . multiplying out this product we obtain a main term and number error terms . since @xmath751
, all these error terms may be seen to be of the same form , which allows us to combine them into one error term .
writing @xmath752 for @xmath753$],@xmath754 $ ] and noting that @xmath755 , the main term from is seen to equal @xmath756 } \sum_{u_i } \frac{2^{s_i}\tau(u_i)}{u_i } \bigg ) \alpha_{\phi}(d_1m_1 ^ 2{\varepsilon}_1 , \dots , d_t&m_t^2{\varepsilon}_t ) \times \\ \nonumber \bigg\ { \int_{i } \dots \int_i \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } & d_j^{-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-z_{j,4 } } \prod_{k\in[4 ] } \vartheta(\xi_{j , k } ) ~d\xi_{j , k } \\
\nonumber + & o_a \big ( \log^{-a } n^{\gamma } \prod_{j \in [ t ] } ( e_je'_jd_jm_j)^{-1/\log n^{\gamma } } \big ) \bigg\}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] the error term here indeed has small contribution : on the one hand , we have @xmath757 } \sum_{\substack{u_j \in u(i_j , s_j ) } } \frac{2^{s_{j}}\tau(u_j)}{u_j } = o(1)~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] see the proof of ( * ? ? ?
* proposition 4.2 ) for details . on the other hand ,
the divisor sum is bounded : @xmath758 } ( e_je'_jd_jm_j)^{-1/\log n^{\gamma } } \\ & = \sum_{\mathbf{d},\mathbf{m},\mathbf{e},\mathbf{e ' } } \prod_{\substack{p > w(n)\\ p^{a_i}\|d_im_i^2{\varepsilon}_i } } \alpha_{\phi}(p^{a_1 } , \dots , p^{a_t } ) \prod_{\substack{j \in [ t]\\ p^{a'_j}\|e_je'_jd_jm_j } } ( p^{a_j + a'_j})^{-1/\log n^{\gamma } } \\ & \ll \prod_{p >
w(n ) } ( 1 + p^{-(1 + 1/\log
n^{\gamma})})^{-o(t ) } \ll \log^{o(t)}n~,\end{aligned}\ ] ] here , we crudely bounded the number of occurring @xmath56-tuples @xmath645 that satisfy @xmath759 by @xmath760 and apply to each of these tuples the bound @xmath761 .
thus , when choosing @xmath129 in sufficiently large , the error term above makes a total contribution of @xmath762 .
it remains to estimate the main term from above .
changing the order of summation and integration leads to an absolutely convergent sum in the integrand . since the range of integration is compact this change
is permitted and , hence , the main term is equal to @xmath763 } \sum_{u_i } \frac{2^{s_i}\tau(u_i)}{u_i } \bigg ) \alpha_{\phi}((d_km_k^2{\varepsilon}_k)_{k\in[t ] } ) \\
\nonumber \times \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } & d_j^{-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-z_{j,4 } } \bigg ) \prod_{k\in[4 ] } \vartheta(\xi_{j , k } ) ~d\xi_{j , k}~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] our next aim is to show that all relevant terms in the integrand are in fact the independent terms , that is , they are those terms for which the @xmath56 products @xmath764 , @xmath741 $ ] are pairwise coprime .
this will eventually allow us to swap the sums with the product while only introducing a small error .
for the @xmath728 we have just done this . since each entry of @xmath713 , @xmath765 , @xmath766 , and @xmath767 is completely composed of primes @xmath768 , the following claim holds .
[ claim-2 ] we have @xmath769 } ) \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } d_j^{-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-z_{j,4 } } \\ & = ( 1 + o_d(w(n)^{-1 } ) ) { \sideset{}{^{\prime}}{\sum}}_{\mathbf{d } , \mathbf{m } , \mathbf{e},\mathbf{e ' } } \alpha_{\phi}((d_im_i^2{\varepsilon}_i)_{i\in[t ] } ) \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } d_j^{-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-z_{j,4 } } ~,\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath738 indicates that the summation is extended only over choices of @xmath56-tuples that satisfy the coprimality condition @xmath770 for any @xmath771 .
note that the summand is multiplicative and may be written as a product over primes @xmath772 .
any summand @xmath773 } ) \prod_{j
\in [ t ] } \mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } d_j^{-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-z_{j,4}}\ ] ] with entries failing coprimality may be factorised into a product of one factor of the same form that satisfies coprimality and one factor for which every prime @xmath43 that appears as a divisor of some @xmath774 divides at least another @xmath775 , @xmath776 . for a fixed tuple @xmath777 of the latter type ( that is , @xmath778 implies @xmath779 ) , the contribution may be bounded as follows employing the triangle inequality : @xmath780 } ) \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } d_j^{-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-z_{j,4 } } \bigg| \\ & = \alpha(k_1,\dots , k_t ) \\ &
\qquad \bigg| \prod_{p|k_1 \dots k_t } \big(1 + o(p^{-1})\big ) { \sideset{}{^{\prime}}{\sum}}_{\substack{\mathbf{d } , \mathbf{m } , \mathbf{e},\mathbf{e ' } } } \alpha_{\phi}((d_im_i^2{\varepsilon}_i)_{i\in[t ] } ) \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } d_j^{-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-z_{j,4 } } \bigg| \\ & { \leqslant}\alpha(k_1,\dots , k_t ) \\ & \qquad \prod_{p|k_1 \dots k_t } \big(1 + o(p^{-1})\big ) \bigg| { \sideset{}{^{\prime}}{\sum}}_{\substack{\mathbf{d } , \mathbf{m } , \mathbf{e},\mathbf{e ' } } } \alpha_{\phi}((d_im_i^2{\varepsilon}_i)_{i\in[t ] } ) \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } d_j^{-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-z_{j,4 } } \bigg|~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] next , we bound the sum over all occurring terms @xmath781 . written as a product over primes , a crude bound for this quantity is given by @xmath782 where we used the very crude bound @xmath783 on the generalised divisor function @xmath784 .
the five factors correspond to @xmath785 , @xmath786 , @xmath787 , @xmath788 and @xmath789 . to further bound the above expression
, we observe that the number of tuples @xmath790 with @xmath759 is at most @xmath791 .
for such choices of @xmath790 , we have @xmath792 and @xmath793 , since @xmath708 has finite complexity and at least two of the @xmath654 are non - zero .
further , for large enough @xmath43 , we have @xmath794 for all @xmath795 .
we certainly may assume that @xmath67 is large enough for @xmath772 to satisfy this condition .
thus @xmath796 since @xmath797 the result follows .
note that in the above claim @xmath798 } ) \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j ) e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } d_j^{-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-z_{j,4 } } \\ & = { \sideset{}{^{\prime}}{\sum}}_{\mathbf{d } , \mathbf{m } , \mathbf{e},\mathbf{e ' } } \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \frac{\mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j)}{{\varepsilon}_j } e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } d_j^{-1-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-2-z_{j,4}}\end{aligned}\ ] ] holds .
the last step of the rearrangement is to show that we may swap the inner product and sum in the integrand .
[ claim-4 ] the sum and product in may be interchanged : @xmath799 } \frac{\mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j)}{{\varepsilon}_j } e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } d_j^{-1-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-2-z_{j,4 } } \\ & = ( 1 + o(w(n)^{-1/2 } ) ) \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \sum_{d_j , m_j , e_j , e'_j } \frac{\mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j)}{{\varepsilon}_j } e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } d_j^{-1-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-2-z_{j,4 } } ~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] the proof of this claim is essentially the same as the one of the previous claim .
the next claim will imply that the integral equals , up to a small error , the integral of the main term from claim [ claim-4 ] .
@xmath800 } \sum_{d_j , m_j , e_j , e'_j } \frac{\mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j)}{{\varepsilon}_j } e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } d_j^{-1-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-2-z_{j,4 } } \prod_{k\in[4 ] } \vartheta(\xi_{j , k } ) \bigg| \prod_{\substack{(j',k ' ) \\ \in[t]\times[4 ] } } ~d\xi_{j',k ' } \\ & = o(1)~. \end{aligned}\ ] ] ( cf .
@xcite , equation ( d.23 ) and the proof thereof . )
we begin by writing the integrand as a product over primes @xmath801 } \sum_{d_j , m_j , e_j , e'_j } \frac{\mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j)}{{\varepsilon}_j } e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } d_j^{-1-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-2-z_{j,4 } } \prod_{k\in[4 ] } \vartheta(\xi_{j , k } ) \bigg| \\ & \ll_a \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \prod_{q\in{\mathcal{q}}_j } \big(1 - q^{-1-z_{j,1 } } - q^{-1-z_{j,2 } } + q^{-1-z_{j,1}-z_{j,2}}\big ) \prod_{\substack{p \in{\mathcal{p}}_j } } ( 1-p^{-1-z_{j,3}})^{-1 } \prod_{k\in[4 ] } ( 1+|\xi_{j , k}|)^{-a } \end{aligned}\ ] ] by the prime number theorem in arithmetic progressions , we have for @xmath802 @xmath803 this also holds for @xmath804 in place of @xmath805 .
thus , choosing @xmath129 sufficiently large the above is seen to be bounded by @xmath806 } \prod_{k\in[4 ] } ( 1+|\xi_{j , k}|)^{-a } \prod_{q\in{\mathcal{q}}_j } \big(1 - q^{-1-z_{j,1 } } - q^{-1-z_{j,2 } } + q^{-1-z_{j,1}-z_{j,2}}\big ) \prod_{\substack{p \in{\mathcal{p}}_j } } ( 1-p^{-1-z_{j,3}})^{-1 } \\ & \ll \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \prod_{k\in[4 ] } ( 1+|\xi_{j , k}|)^{-a } & \ll \log^{t}n^{\gamma } \log^{-t}n^{\gamma } \prod_{j \in [ t ] } ( 1+|\xi_{j,1}|)^{1/2}(1+|\xi_{j,2}|)^{1/2 } \prod_{k\in[4 ] } ( 1+|\xi_{j , k}|)^{-a } \\ &
\ll \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \prod_{k\in[4 ] } ( 1+|\xi_{j , k}|)^{-a/2}~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] for any @xmath807 the integral of the final expression is @xmath216 .
together with claim [ claim-2 ] , equation and claim [ claim-4 ] , the above claim implies that the integral is given by @xmath808 } \sum_{d_j , m_j , e_j , e'_j } \frac{\mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j)}{{\varepsilon}_j } e_j^{-z_{j,1 } } { e'_j}^{-z_{j,2 } } & d_j^{-1-z_{j,3 } } m_j^{-2-z_{j,4 } } \prod_{k\in[4 ] } \vartheta(\xi_{j , k } ) \prod_{\substack{(j',k ' ) \\ \in[t]\times[4 ] } } ~d\xi_{j',k ' } \\ & \times \bigg ( \prod_{i \in [ t ] } \sum_{u_i } \frac{2^{s_i}\tau(u_i)}{u_i } \bigg ) + o(1).\end{aligned}\ ] ] removing the truncation of the integral again , the latter expression is seen to equal : @xmath809 } \sum_{u_i } \frac{2^{s_i}\tau(u_i)}{u_i } \bigg ) \prod_{j
\in [ t ] } \sum_{d_j , m_j , e_j , e'_j } \frac{\mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j)}{d_j m_j^2 { \varepsilon}_j } \prod_{\substack{x \in \\ \{e_j , e'_j , m_j , d_j\ } } } \chi(\frac{\log x}{\log n^{\gamma } } ) + o(1)~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] putting everything together , we have shown that @xmath810 } \nu'_{d_{i_j},\gamma}(\varphi_j(n ) ) \beta'_{d_{i_j},\gamma}(\varphi_j(n))\\ & = ( 1 + o_d(w(n)^{-1/2 } ) ) \\ & \qquad \prod_{j \in [ t ] } \bigg ( \sum_{s_j } \sum_{i_j } \sum_{u_j } \sum_{d_j } \sum_{m_j , e_j , e'_j } \frac{2^{s_j}\tau(u_i)}{u_j } \frac{\mu(e_j ) \mu(e'_j)}{d_j m_j^2 { \varepsilon}_j } \prod_{\substack{x \in \\ \{e_j , e'_j , m_j , d_j\ } } } \chi(\frac{\log x}{\log n^{\gamma } } ) + o(1)\bigg)~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] the last expression now is independent of @xmath708 . applying the asymptotic in each of the known one - dimensional cases @xmath811 where @xmath812 is given by the identity , implies that each of the factors above is of the correct form .
this completes proof of the proposition .
the proof of the correlation estimate follows in a very similar manner to those of the corresponding estimates for the divisor function majorant in @xcite and the von mangoldt function majorant from ( * ? ? ?
* app.d ) .
we restrict attention to the case of pairwise distinct @xmath813 ; the remaining case follows , as before , by choosing @xmath814 sufficiently large . employing the volume packing lemma , we may show as in @xcite , that @xmath815 } \nu'_{d_{i_j},\gamma}({\overline{w}}(n+h_j)+b_{i_j } ) \beta'_{d_{i_j},\gamma}({\overline{w}}(n+h_j)+b_{i_j } ) & \ll \prod_{\substack{p|\delta\\p >
w(n ) } } \sum_{a_1,\dots , a_m } \alpha(p^{a_1},\dots , p^{a_m})~,\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath816 .
this estimate allows us to proceed as in @xcite .
this section provides a quick overview of the results around the von neumann theorem and the inverse theorem for the gowers norms .
we apply these results in the end of the section to reduce proposition [ w - red - main - thm ] to a non - correlation estimate . in the dense setting
, that is , if @xmath817 is a bounded function with asymptotic density , the gowers uniformity norms , defined as @xmath818 } : = \bigg ( { \mathbb{e}}_{x \in [ n ] } { \mathbb{e}}_{h\in[n]^s } \prod_{\omega \in \{0,1\}^s } g(x + \omega \cdot h ) \bigg)^{1/2^{s}}~,\ ] ] capture all information on the correlations of @xmath333 with respect to finite complexity systems .
this generalises as follows .
[ v.neumann ] let @xmath659 be positive integer parameters
. then there are constants @xmath302 and @xmath157 , depending on @xmath656 and @xmath286 , such that the following is true .
let @xmath66 , @xmath819 , be arbitrary and suppose that @xmath820 $ ] is a prime .
let @xmath821 be a @xmath157-pseudorandom measure , and suppose that @xmath822 \to { \mathbb{r}}$ ] are functions with @xmath823 for all @xmath298 $ ] and @xmath824 $ ] .
suppose that @xmath626 is a finite complexity system of affine - linear forms whose linear coefficients are bounded by @xmath286 .
let @xmath825^d$ ] be a convex body such that @xmath826^t$ ] .
suppose also that @xmath827 } = o(1)~.\ ] ] then we have @xmath828 } f_i(\psi_i(n ) ) = o(n^d)~.\ ] ] establishing the gowers - uniformity condition itself is a task that is conceptually equivalent to that of finding an asymptotic for @xmath829 } f(\psi_i(n))$ ] directly , and should therefore not be any easier . the specific system of affine - linear forms that appears in the definition of the uniformity norms , however , allows an alternative characterisation of gowers - uniform functions .
whether or not a function @xmath75 is gowers - uniform , is characterised by the non - existence or existence of a polynomial nilsequence that correlates with @xmath75 . on the one hand ,
correlation with a nilsequence obstructs uniformity : [ nilsequences - obstruct - uniformity ] let @xmath830 be an integer and let @xmath831 be real .
let @xmath832 be an @xmath833-step nilmanifold with some fixed smooth metric @xmath834 , and let @xmath835 be a bounded @xmath833-step nilsequence with lipschitz constant at most @xmath286 .
let @xmath836 \to { \mathbb{r}}$ ] be a function that is bounded in the @xmath837-norm , that is , assume @xmath838 } |f(n)| { \leqslant}1 $ ] . if furthermore @xmath839 }
f(n ) f(g(n)\gamma ) { \geqslant}\delta\ ] ] then we have @xmath840 } \gg_{s,\delta , l , g/\gamma } 1~.\ ] ] an inverse result to this statement has been known as the inverse conjecture for the gowers norms for some time and has recently been resolved , see @xcite .
the inverse conjectures are stated for bounded functions . with our application to the normalised divisor function in mind , we only recall the transferred statement , c.f .
10.1 ) , here .
[ inverse theorem ] for any @xmath841 and any @xmath842 , there exists a finite collection @xmath843 of @xmath833-step nilmanifolds @xmath844 , each equipped with a metric @xmath834 , such that the following holds . given any @xmath845 ,
suppose that @xmath846 $ ] is prime , that @xmath847 \to { \mathbb{r}}^+$ ] is an @xmath848-pseudorandom measure , suppose that @xmath849 \to { \mathbb{r}}$ ] is any arithmetic function with @xmath850 for all @xmath265 $ ] and such that @xmath840 } { \geqslant}\delta~.\ ] ] then there is a nilmanifold @xmath851 in the collection and a @xmath31-bounded @xmath833-step nilsequence @xmath852 on it that has lipschitz constant @xmath853 , such that we have the correlation estimate @xmath854 } f(n)f(g(n)\gamma)|\gg_{s,\delta , c } 1~.\ ] ] this inverse theorem now reduces the required uniformity - norm estimate to the potentially easier task of proving that the centralised version of @xmath75 does not correlate with polynomial nilsequences .
we already reduced the main theorem to the @xmath74-tricked version given in proposition [ w - red - main - thm ] , which we now restate : let @xmath603 be a finite complexity system of forms , let @xmath597 , and let @xmath604 be the translate of @xmath57 defined as in section [ local - factors ] .
then @xmath855 where @xmath856^d$ ] is a convex body such that @xmath607^t$ ] .
writing @xmath857 and multiplying out , we obtain a constant term @xmath31 and all other terms are of a form the generalised von neumann theorem applies to , provided we can show that @xmath858 for all @xmath298 $ ] . by the inverse theorem , it suffices to show that @xmath859 } ( r'_{f_i , c_i(a)}(n ) - 1 ) f(g(n)\gamma)| = o_{g/\gamma , t}(1)\ ] ] for all @xmath860-step nilsequences @xmath861 and @xmath31-bounded lipschitz functions @xmath111 .
this task will be carried out in the sections [ reduction_to_torus][conclusion - section ] .
the so far standard line of attack to obtain a result of the form ` the function @xmath59 does not correlate with @xmath312-step nilsequences ' is to employ the green - tao factorisation theorem @xcite , which allows us to reduce this task to the case where the nilsequence is close to being equidistributed . a separate estimate which shows that @xmath59 does not correlate with periodic ( nil)sequences allows us to further assume that the lipschitz function involved has zero mean , that is , @xmath862 .
periodic sequences are regarded as major arcs .
we have already deduced a major arc estimate in section [ major - arcs ] .
the remaining case with the strong assumption that the nilsequence behaves in a very equidistributed way corresponds to the minor arc analysis of the classical hardy - littlewood method , cf . the discussion in @xcite .
the procedure of passing to the equidistributed ( minor arc ) case is fairly independent of the individual problem and is completely described in 2 of @xcite .
thus , we restrict our attention here to providing the necessary major and minor arc estimates specific to our problem and only summarise the procedures from @xcite we employ
. our approach to the minor arc estimate is modelled on a strategy one might choose in the classical setting : if @xmath863 is a rational that belongs to a suitably chosen notion of ` minor arc ' , then one obtains an upper bound for the expression @xmath864 by splitting into suitable summation ranges , fixing either @xmath336 or @xmath489 , and applying weyl s inequality .
thus , in our case , we aim to employ the quadratic structure of the form @xmath75 by means of weyl s inequality in order to deduce the estimate @xmath865 for sufficiently equidistributed sequences @xmath866 .
when working with a sequence @xmath867}$ ] directly , weyl s differencing trick may only be employed locally on so called generalised bohr neighbourhoods , where one can make the locally polynomial structure of a nilsequence explicit , cf . the approach in @xcite .
the crucial fact that makes weyl s differencing trick work for exponential sums is the fact that the exponential function is a group homomorphism .
since @xmath111 is a lipschitz function , one expects it to have a good , i.e. short , fourier approximation
. in general , elements of a fourier basis in the non - abelian case arise from characters , i.e. homomorphisms .
thus there is a good chance that it is possible to employ weyl s inequality globally for elements of the fourier basis and hence for a short fourier approximation of a lipschitz function . in our case ,
the situation is considerably simplified by the availability of a complete quantitative equidistribution theory for polynomial orbits on nilmanifolds , which has been worked out by green and tao in @xcite .
in particular , their generalisation of leon green s theorem ( ` quantitative leibman theorem ' ( * ? ? ? * thm.1.16 ) ) asserts that any polynomial sequences on a nilmanifold @xmath844 is @xmath76-equidistributed . ] _ if and only if _
its projection on the horizontal torus is @xmath868-equidistributed , where the dependence is polynomial . the horizontal torus bears the advantage of being isomorphic to an ordinary torus @xmath869
consequently , we need not consider the representation theory on nilpotent lie groups and their homogeneous spaces ; analysing the projected sequence on the horizontal torus by standard fourier analysis , or even the quantitative version of weyl s equidistribution theory , is sufficient .
( the latter theory will actually reduce matters to looking at sequences @xmath870 arising from horizontal characters . ) our strategy , after reducing to the equidistributed case , is the following : let @xmath321 denote a polynomial of degree @xmath55 .
then equidistribution of @xmath866 on @xmath844 implies that @xmath871 is equidistributed on the horizontal torus , which implies , as a consequence of weyl s equidistribution theory , that @xmath872 is equidistributed on the horizontal torus , which implies that @xmath873 is equidistributed on @xmath844 .
the distribution of polynomial subsequences was not considered in @xcite , but will follow from results of that paper .
these results will be proved in sections [ reduction_to_torus ] and [ poly_subs_section ] . for the above strategy to work , a strong major arc analysis is required , because the @xmath74-trick introduces very large coefficients into the quadratic forms under consideration . for the major arc analysis , we rely on the observation that all of these large coefficients turn out
to be entirely composed of small prime factors .
we briefly describe in the next section how this information is used to choose major and minor arcs in the classical setting .
the general case will be carried out in section [ poly_subs_section ] ( especially corollary [ modified_abelian_equid ] and proposition [ modified_general_equid ] which deal with polynomial subsequences that have large but smooth coefficients ) and section [ factorisation ] , which provides a factorisation of polynomial sequences into major and minor arcs .
in this section we describe briefly and solely for motivational purposes how the major and minor arcs are chosen in the model case of correlation with linear phase functions @xmath874 instead of general nilsequences . here
the task is to show that @xmath875 in section [ major - arcs ] , we saw that @xmath876 does not correlate with any @xmath10-periodic function of @xmath532-smooth period @xmath10 , provided @xmath877 is still quite large .
it is therefore possible to choose the major arcs to consist of all rationals @xmath878 that are close to a rational with @xmath532-smooth denominator : in that case @xmath879 is close to a periodic function with @xmath532-smooth period .
the minor arcs then comprise all @xmath863 that are not close to rationals with @xmath532-smooth denominators .
for such a ` minor arc ' @xmath863 , we automatically have @xmath880 .
thus , we define the major arcs to be @xmath881 where @xmath882 is the following set of all not too large @xmath532-smooth denominators @xmath883 and where @xmath884 is the set of real numbers that are well approximated by some rational with @xmath532-smooth denominator : @xmath885 the reason behind this choice of major arc is the following .
when we pass to @xmath74-tricked versions of the representation function , which are up to normalisation of the form @xmath886 , then this restriction to a _ linear _ substructure can not directly be expressed by the quadratic form @xmath75 . for the minor arcs treatment ,
we , however , hope to work with the quadratic form directly .
we will therefore consider all choices @xmath887 ^ 2 $ ] such that @xmath888 and consider for each choice the quadratic form @xmath889 in @xmath890 .
fixing either @xmath336 or @xmath489 , we hope to apply weyl s inequality when @xmath891 to estimate @xmath892 : \\ f(x',y ' ) \equiv \beta { \;(\mathrm{mod}\,{\overline{w } } ) } } } \sum_{\substack{x , y \\
f({\overline{w}}x + x ' , { \overline{w}}y + y ' ) { \leqslant}n } } e\big(\frac{\theta ( f({\overline{w}}x + x ' , { \overline{w}}y + y ' ) - \beta)}{{\overline{w}}}\big)~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] here we obtain for fixed @xmath893 and either fixed @xmath336 or fixed @xmath489 a quadratic inside the exponential with leading coefficient @xmath894 or @xmath895 where @xmath9 and @xmath896 are coefficients of @xmath75 . for the application of weyl s inequality ,
we require that this leading coefficient is close to a rational with large denominator . since @xmath897 , the choice of major and minor arcs guarantees that , when @xmath898 , i.e. @xmath899 for some @xmath10 that has a prime factor @xmath900 , or satisfies @xmath901 , then @xmath902 where @xmath903 has a prime factor @xmath900 , or satisfies @xmath904 .
thus , @xmath905 can still be thought of as minor arc , when replacing @xmath67 by @xmath906 .
let @xmath112 be a connected , simply connected , @xmath312-step nilpotent lie group , and let @xmath130 be a discrete co - compact subgroup .
then @xmath844 is called a @xmath312-step nilmanifold .
a filtration @xmath907 of @xmath112 is a sequence of subgroups @xmath908 such that for any @xmath909 the commutator group @xmath910 $ ] is a subgroup of @xmath911 .
the filtration is said to have degree @xmath55 , if @xmath912 is the first element in the sequence that is trivial . by definition
, a nilpotent group always has a filtration .
the quantitative analysis carried out in @xcite relies on the existence of a certain type of basis , a malcev basis , for the lie algebra @xmath913 of g. adapted to any filtration , there exists a malcev basis for @xmath913 that parametrises via the exponential map both the groups in the filtration and the uniform subgroup @xmath130 in a very natural way . for each such basis @xmath914 ,
green and tao introduce a metric @xmath915 for @xmath112 and its quotient @xmath844 in ( * ? ? ?
* def.2.2 ) , which then allows them to define lipschitz functions on @xmath844 , and also allows them to introduce a notion of slowly varying ( or smooth ) sequences @xmath916 that take values in @xmath112 .
despite the fact that any of the statements on nilsequences require a fixed choice of malcev basis @xmath914 and corresponding metric @xmath915 , we will not need to directly work with any of the specific properties of either of these objects : they will only implicitly be present through the results from @xcite we build on . for this reason
, we content ourselves to refer to ( * ? ? ? * and app.a ) for background and exact definitions .
let @xmath917 be a @xmath112-valued sequence , and define the discrete derivative @xmath918 for each @xmath919 .
then @xmath333 is a _ polynomial sequence _ with coefficients in @xmath907 , when for every @xmath920 , and every choice of @xmath921 all @xmath922-th derivatives satisfy @xmath923 .
we write @xmath924 for all polynomial sequences adapted to @xmath907 and say they are of degree @xmath55 , where @xmath55 is the degree of the filtration .
two facts about polynomial sequences are of particular importance .
the first is a theorem of lazard : _
@xmath924 forms a group _ ; see @xcite for a proof and the reference to the original work .
the second important property is a more explicit description of polynomial sequences .
it is shown in @xcite ( cf .
6 and the remarks following def.1.8 ) that every polynomial sequence can be written in the form @xmath925 , where @xmath312 is some integer , @xmath926 , and @xmath927 are polynomials .
observe that , if the sequence @xmath928 defined by @xmath929 belongs to @xmath924 , then the assertion that the discrete derivatives of order @xmath930 all equal @xmath931 directly translates to @xmath932 .
in general the degree of the polynomial sequence @xmath333 is much larger than the degrees of the polynomial exponents @xmath933 that appear in the above mentioned representation .
write @xmath934\gamma)$ ] for the canonical projection of @xmath112 on the abelianisation of @xmath844 .
@xmath935 is called the _ horizontal torus _ of @xmath112 .
we will extensively work with horizontal characters @xmath936 .
these are additive homomorphisms that annihilate @xmath130 .
note that when @xmath333 has degree @xmath55 , that is , when @xmath333 has coefficients in a filtration of degree @xmath55 , then the projection @xmath937 can be written as an ordinary polynomial of degree at most @xmath55 taking values in @xmath938 .
* def.2.6 ) defines the notion of the modulus @xmath939 of a horizontal character .
all that is important to us , is that @xmath940 .
in this section we provide the tool for passing from a general nilmanifold to the abelian setting of the horizontal torus .
we caution , however , that by far the largest amount of the real work behind these results is hidden in the application of ( * ? ? ?
* thm 1.16 ) , while the converse statements we prove are fairly straightforward .
integral to all what follows are the two quantitative notions of equidistribution that were introduced in ( * ? ? ?
1.2 ) : let @xmath844 be a nilmanifold endowed with haar measure and let @xmath941 be parameters .
a finite sequence @xmath866 is said to be @xmath942-_equidistributed _ if @xmath943 } f(g(n)\gamma ) - \int_{g/\gamma } f\big| { \leqslant}\delta_1 \|f\|_{\mathrm{lip}}\ ] ] for all lipschitz functions @xmath944 with @xmath945 @xmath866 is said to be _ totally @xmath946-equidistributed _
if @xmath947 for all lipschitz functions @xmath111 as above and all arithmetic progressions @xmath948 $ ] of length @xmath949 . for polynomial sequences these two notions of equidistribution
are equivalent in the sense that every totally @xmath946-equidistributed sequence is @xmath946-equidistributed , and every @xmath942-equidistributed sequence is totally @xmath950-equidistributed , where @xmath951 for some @xmath129 only depending on the degree of the sequence , and the dimension and step of the nilmanifold .
( as this observation will not be used later on , a proof is omitted . )
we set out by recalling the quantitative version of weyl s inequality from @xcite , and the notion of smoothness norms in terms of which this inequality is phrased .
any polynomial @xmath952 of degree @xmath953 has an expansion of the form @xmath954 the _ smoothness norm _ of @xmath333 is defined by @xmath955}:= \sup_{1{\leqslant}j { \leqslant}d } n^j \|\alpha_j\|_{{\mathbb{r}}/{\mathbb{z}}}~.\ ] ] this norm was introduced in ( * ? ? ?
2.7 ) as a measure of slow variation of polynomial sequences on tori . indeed
, @xmath956}/n \end{aligned}\ ] ] holds . for us it will be more convenient to work with the coefficients of the ordinary representation of @xmath333 . when @xmath957 , then ( cf .
* lemma 3.2 ) ) there is @xmath958 with @xmath959 such that @xmath960}\end{aligned}\ ] ] for @xmath961 .
this follows by expressing each @xmath962 as a linear combination of @xmath963 .
the coefficients appearing are bounded by @xmath964 . in the other direction we can show @xmath965 } \ll \sup_{1 { \leqslant}j { \leqslant}d } n^{j } \|j !
\beta_j \|_{{\mathbb{r}}/{\mathbb{z}}}~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] indeed , @xmath966 is a linear combination of @xmath963 , @xmath967 , where the coefficient of @xmath968 is @xmath31 and all other coefficients are @xmath964
. let @xmath969 be the maximal index for which @xmath970 } = n^{j_0}\|\alpha_{j_0}\|$ ]
. then @xmath971 for all @xmath972 .
. then @xmath974 , which proves the result .
part ( a ) of the following is green and tao s proposition 4.3 from @xcite .
while the latter is quite a deep result , its converse , which we prove as part ( b ) , is rather straightforward .
[ weyl ] @xmath975 suppose that @xmath817 is a polynomial of degree @xmath55 , and let @xmath976 .
if @xmath977}$ ] is not @xmath76-equidistributed in @xmath938 , then there is an integer @xmath312 , @xmath978 such that @xmath979 } \ll \delta^{-o_d(1)}$ ] .
@xmath980 suppose that the parameter @xmath981 satisfies @xmath982 for all @xmath983 .
further , suppose there are positive integers @xmath984 satisfying @xmath985 such that @xmath986 then , provided @xmath67 is large enough , there is some positive integer @xmath987 such that @xmath977}$ ] is not totally @xmath988-equidistributed in @xmath938 . _
( 1 ) _ the precise choice of exponents in the bounds @xmath989 is not important to this result , but we will later make use of the fact that this way @xmath990 . _ ( 2 ) _ in part @xmath991 , the conditions @xmath992 can be replaced by conditions of the form @xmath993 as they imply @xmath994 .
all that is left is to prove part @xmath991 .
put @xmath995 .
then , by the assumption on @xmath76 , @xmath996 for some @xmath997 for each @xmath998 $ ] . consider the sequence @xmath999}~.\ ] ] by , each @xmath1000 in the range satisfies @xmath1001 .
thus @xmath1002 is almost constant on this range and we obtain for @xmath67 sufficiently large @xmath1003 } e(g(kn ) ) -\int_{{\mathbb{r}}/{\mathbb{z } } } e(x)~dx \right| { \geqslant}1 - \left(\frac{2\pi\delta^{-a ' } \delta^{2a ' } n}{n } \right)^2 \gg \delta^{a'}\|e\|_{\mathrm{lip}}~,\ ] ] that is , @xmath1004 is not totally @xmath1005-equidistributed .
the equidistribution of nilsequences is related to the equidistribution of certain polynomial sequences via the following projection theorem .
[ prop - projection ] let @xmath1006 be positive integers , and let @xmath1007 be a parameter .
let @xmath844 be an @xmath143-dimensional nilmanifold together with a filtration @xmath907 of degree @xmath55 and a @xmath1008-rational malcev basis adapted to this filtration .
suppose that @xmath1009 . then there are positive constants @xmath1010 and @xmath1011 , only depending on @xmath143 and @xmath55 , such that the following holds .
if @xmath866 is not totally @xmath76-equidistributed in @xmath844 , then there is a non - trivial horizontal character @xmath1012 of modulus @xmath1013 such that @xmath1014 is not totally @xmath1015-equidistributed in @xmath938 .
conversely , if there is a non - trivial horizontal character @xmath1012 of modulus @xmath1016 such that @xmath1014 fails to be totally @xmath76-equidistributed in @xmath938 , then @xmath866 is not totally @xmath1017-equidistributed in @xmath844 .
if @xmath866 is not totally @xmath76-equidistributed , then there is a progression @xmath1018 of length at least @xmath1019 such that the sequence @xmath1020 fails to be @xmath76-equidistributed .
define @xmath1021 by @xmath1022 .
then ( * ? ? ?
* thm 2.9 ) implies that there is a non - trivial horizontal character @xmath1023 of modulus @xmath1024 such that @xmath1025 } \ll \delta^{-o_{m , d}(1)}$ ] . by proposition [ weyl](b ) , this implies that @xmath937 fails to be totally @xmath1015-equidistributed for some @xmath1026 . in the other direction ,
if there is a non - trivial horizontal @xmath1012 of modulus bounded by @xmath1008 such that @xmath1014 fails to be totally @xmath76-equidistributed , then we again find a progression @xmath1018 of length at least @xmath1019 such that the sequence @xmath1027 fails to be @xmath76-equidistributed . by proposition [ weyl](a )
we have @xmath1028 for all @xmath1029 . since @xmath1012 is an additive character on a compact group
, we have @xmath1030 .
consider the subprogression @xmath1031 , where @xmath1032 , with @xmath1033 large enough so that guarantees @xmath1034 for all @xmath1035 .
this implies @xmath1036 using the fact that @xmath1037 for @xmath1038 . since @xmath1039 , where the bound on the lipschitz constant of @xmath1012 comes from the bound on the modulus ( cf .
* def.2.6 ) ) of the character , we may in fact choose @xmath1033 large enough to ensure that also @xmath1040 holds .
thus , @xmath1041 is not totally @xmath1017-equidistributed in @xmath844 .
with the help of the quantitative leibman theorem ( proposition [ prop - projection ] ) , which reduces questions about the equidistribution of polynomial nilsequences to questions about the equidistribution of polynomials taking values in @xmath938 , we analyse in this section the distribution of polynomial subsequences of polynomial orbits . the first result states that on the torus polynomial subsequences of @xmath76-equidistributed sequences are equidistributed too . before stating this proposition
properly we give an informal description of its contents here .
a polynomial @xmath952 is equidistributed if and only if one of its coefficients is irrational .
quantitative equidistribution is an assertion on whether or not there is a lipschitz function @xmath1042 for which @xmath1043 fails to be small . approximating the lipschitz function @xmath111 by a fourier series
, one sees that studying this quantity is equivalent to studying the exponential sums @xmath1044 for certain rational @xmath1045 .
the latter is naturally approached by weyl s inequality which then shows that the quantitative equidistribution of @xmath333 is an assertion about whether or not there is a coefficient of @xmath333 that is not close to a rational with small denominator .
this rational approximation property is preserved when we consider compositions @xmath1046 of @xmath333 with an integral polynomial @xmath321 whose leading coefficient is not too large . to see this we only need to consider the case where @xmath333 has a ` highly irrational ' coefficient .
take the largest - index coefficient of @xmath333 which is ` highly irrational ' and call it @xmath1047 .
then we may check that the largest - index coefficient of @xmath1046 which arises from the highly irrational coefficient @xmath1047 of @xmath333 is still considerably irrational .
( some bounds on the lower coefficients of @xmath321 are needed in order to avoid cancellation . ) [ abelian equid subseqs ] suppose that @xmath817 is a polynomial of degree @xmath55 and that @xmath1048 is a polynomial with integer coefficients of degree @xmath1049 such that the leading coefficient @xmath1050 is bounded by @xmath1051 , while all other coefficients satisfy the inequality @xmath1052 .
let @xmath976 and suppose @xmath982 for all @xmath983 .
then there is some integer @xmath987 such that when @xmath1053}$ ] is totally @xmath76-equidistributed and when @xmath1054 , then @xmath1055}$ ] is totally @xmath1056-equidistributed .
since @xmath333 is totally @xmath76-equidistributed , proposition [ weyl](b ) implies that there is an integer @xmath997 such that no @xmath55-tuple of positive integers @xmath1057 satisfies simultaneously @xmath1058 and @xmath1059 for all @xmath1060 .
we deduce that there is some index @xmath1061 among them such that @xmath1062 does not hold for any @xmath1063 .
suppose @xmath1061 is maximal with this property .
then for all @xmath1064 with @xmath1065 we find @xmath1066 such that @xmath1067 for any @xmath1068 , considering the @xmath1069th term of @xmath1070 we have @xmath1071 where @xmath1072 is a polynomial of degree @xmath1073 such that the coefficient of @xmath1074 for any @xmath922 is bounded by @xmath1075 since @xmath1076^j } \gamma_{t_1 } \dots
\gamma_{t_j } n^{t_1 + \dots + t_j}\ ] ] and @xmath1077 define @xmath1078 , @xmath1079 , to be the following coefficients @xmath1080 comparing coefficients , each @xmath1078 may be written as a linear combination of @xmath962 with @xmath1081 ; @xmath1082 is the @xmath386-coefficient of largest index whose representation in terms of @xmath202 s contains @xmath962 , which appears with coefficient @xmath1083 in the representation .
next , we aim to show that there is @xmath1084 such that every choice of @xmath1085 with @xmath1086 for each @xmath1087 contains some @xmath1088 such that @xmath1089 this , when applied with @xmath1090 for any @xmath1091 , would in view of imply @xmath1092 } \gg \delta^{-1/a''}$ ] , from which the result follows by proposition [ weyl](a )
. we will show that we can pick @xmath1093 . thus , suppose for contradiction that @xmath1094 holds for some @xmath1095 .
note that @xmath1096 where the @xmath1097 are integers of order @xmath1098 as can be deduced from the equation @xmath1099 \\
t_1 + \dots+ t_{\ell}=i_0d ' } } \gamma_{t_1 } \dots \gamma_{t_{\ell}}~.\ ] ] we wish to discard all the terms with @xmath1100 in the above expression for @xmath1101 in order to deduce that @xmath1047 is well approximable by rationals which will hopefully lead us to the sought for contradiction .
thus , in view of , we multiply the above expression for @xmath1101 by @xmath1102 .
inequality yields @xmath1103 writing @xmath1104 , we have @xmath1105 where in view of and the bound on the @xmath1097 @xmath1106 recalling that @xmath982 for all @xmath983 , this upper bound is seen to be @xmath1107 . together with the bound on @xmath1108 this allows us to employ the triangle inequality provided @xmath67 is large enough that no wrap - around issues can occur .
in particular , this allows us to deduce that @xmath1109 choosing @xmath1110 and @xmath1111 ( to ensure that @xmath1112 ) this translates to @xmath1113 while we obtain the following bound on @xmath1114 @xmath1115 hence , we obtained a contradiction to the rational non - approximability properties of @xmath1047 .
next , we slightly extend this result . consider the binary quadratic form @xmath1116 for fixed @xmath489 and its restriction to subprogressions modulo @xmath10 in the @xmath336 variable : @xmath1117 this defines a quadratic polynomial @xmath1118 in @xmath336 .
being interested in @xmath1119 such that @xmath1120 , we may suppose that @xmath1121 .
further assume that @xmath10 is @xmath312-smooth ( we will be interested in the case @xmath1122 ) and satisfies @xmath1123 . then the coefficients of this quadratic polynomial in @xmath336 have the following properties .
@xmath1124 is @xmath312-smooth , and @xmath1125 , @xmath1126 , @xmath1127 .
the proposition below is tailored to address polynomials with these specific properties .
[ modified_abelian_equid ] let @xmath1128 and suppose @xmath982 for all @xmath1129 .
let @xmath312 be a positive integer and suppose that the polynomial sequence @xmath1130 , @xmath1131 has the property that for every @xmath312-smooth integer @xmath10 , @xmath1132 , for every choice of @xmath984 with @xmath1133 for @xmath1060 , and for every sufficiently large @xmath67 , we have @xmath1134 then , if @xmath1048 is an integer - coefficient polynomial of degree @xmath1049 whose leading coefficient is a _
integer satisfying @xmath1135 , while all other coefficients satisfy the inequality @xmath1136 , we obtain a conclusion similar to the one in the previous proposition : then there is a @xmath312-smooth number @xmath1137 , @xmath1138 , such that each of the sequences @xmath1139}$ ] for @xmath1140 $ ] is totally @xmath1056-equidistributed , provided @xmath67 is large enough .
the unconventional form of the inapproximability conditions imposed on the @xmath1141 comes out of our choice of major and minor arcs ; cf . proposition [ modified_general_equid ] and the next section .
consider @xmath1142 , and let , as in the previous proof , @xmath1061 be the maximal index for which @xmath1143 for all @xmath1144 .
thus , for @xmath1145 there are @xmath1146 such that @xmath1147 we wish to employ this information to proceed as in the previous proof , that is , we wish to assume for contradiction that all coefficients of @xmath1148 are close to rationals .
in particular this would apply to the @xmath1149-th coefficient . writing that coefficient as a linear combination of @xmath202 s we would then like to deduce that @xmath1047 has to be close to a rational , which produces a contradiction .
unfortunately , the above information is not quite sufficient for our purposes yet : we require similar bounds on @xmath1150 instead of on @xmath1151 . to work around this
, we pass to higher powers @xmath1152 of @xmath10 , aiming to find a small @xmath56 and an index @xmath1153 such that @xmath1154 , while @xmath1155 for @xmath1156 .
the gap between @xmath1157 and @xmath1158 ( for @xmath1156 ) introduced by the extra factor @xmath55 will be sufficient to analyse @xmath1159 on subprogressions modulo @xmath1160 .
returning to the proof , note that implies @xmath1161 for @xmath1145 and for all positive integers @xmath56 . by assumption on the rationality properties of the @xmath962 , @xmath961 , there is an index @xmath1162 , which by the previous observation necessarily satisfies @xmath1163 , such that @xmath1164 for all @xmath1165 . proceeding like this , we obtain a decreasing sequence @xmath1166 of positive integers such that for every @xmath1069 the following two families of inequalities hold : @xmath1167 for all @xmath1168 , and for every @xmath1064 with @xmath1169 there is @xmath1146 such that @xmath1170 by positivity of the indices @xmath725
, there is @xmath1171 such that @xmath1172 for all @xmath1173 . setting @xmath1174
, we therefore have @xmath1175 for all @xmath1176 , while we find for every @xmath1156 a positive integer @xmath1146 such that @xmath1177 now recall that @xmath1178 and consider the sequence @xmath1179}$ ] for an arbitrary @xmath1180 $ ] . defining coefficients @xmath1078 by @xmath1181 we have @xmath1182 } \sigma_{i_td ' } = \beta_{i_t } ( \gamma_{d ' } q^{\tau})^{i_t } + \sum_{\ell
> i_t } \beta_{\ell } q^{\tau i_t } c_{\ell}~,\end{aligned}\ ] ] with integer coefficients @xmath1097
. we need a bound on @xmath1097 and proceed to show that @xmath1183 .
expanding out products yields @xmath1184^{\ell } } \gamma_{j_1 } \dots \gamma_{j_{\ell } } \sum_{\substack{(u_1 , \dots , u_{\ell } ) { \leqslant}\\(j_1 , \dots , j_{\ell } ) } } \binom{j_1}{u_1 } \dots \binom{j_{\ell}}{u_{\ell } } ( q^{\tau / d'}n)^{u_1 + \dots + u_{\ell } } r^{(j_1 - u_1 ) + \dots + ( j_{\ell } - u_{\ell})}~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] consider any term involving @xmath1185 . if @xmath1186 , then the coefficient of @xmath1187 is @xmath1188 .
if @xmath1189 , then the coefficient of @xmath1190 is bounded by @xmath1191 , since @xmath1192 .
thus in total , @xmath1183 .
we return to analysing the rational approximations of the individual terms of .
notice that @xmath1193 for all @xmath1194 $ ] .
thus guarantees for @xmath1156 the existence of @xmath1146 such that @xmath1195 holds .
we are finally in the position to show that there is @xmath1196 such that @xmath1197}\ ] ] is totally @xmath1198-equidistributed .
more precisely , we show that there is @xmath1199 such that for every @xmath1200 @xmath1201 holds true . from here
the result follows from proposition [ weyl](a ) .
suppose for contradiction that @xmath1202 for some @xmath1200 .
let @xmath1203 ( or @xmath1204 when the product is empty ) , then , since @xmath1146 , @xmath1205 considering the summands in , the bounds imply @xmath1206 appealing to the assumptions that both @xmath10 and @xmath1008 are bounded by @xmath1207 , the above is seen to equal @xmath1208 since @xmath1209 .
thus , provided @xmath67 is large enough , no wrap - around issues appear when examining the circle norm @xmath1210 and we find the following statement on rational approximation of @xmath1211 @xmath1212 choosing @xmath1213 , this shows that there is @xmath1114 , namely @xmath1214 , bounded by @xmath1215 such that @xmath1216 contradicting . combining either of the previous two results with the quantitative leibman theorem , the general case of the equidistribution theorem for subsequences follows .
[ equid_subsequences ] let @xmath1217 be positive integers , and let @xmath1051 and @xmath1007 be parameters , and suppose that @xmath982 for all @xmath983 .
let @xmath1009 be a polynomial sequence of degree @xmath55 and suppose that the finite orbit @xmath1218}$ ] is totally @xmath76-equidistributed in @xmath844 .
let @xmath1219 be an integer - coefficient polynomial of degree @xmath1049 whose coefficients are bounded by @xmath1051 .
then there is some @xmath1220 such that whenever @xmath1221 , then the polynomial subsequence @xmath1222}$ ] is totally @xmath1056-equidistributed on @xmath844 .
we first pass to the abelian setting : by proposition [ prop - projection ] , there are constants @xmath1223 such that every sequence @xmath1224}$ ] for a horizontal character @xmath1012 of modulus at most @xmath1225 is totally @xmath1226-equidistributed . applying proposition [ abelian equid subseqs ] , we deduce that for each such character @xmath1012 the sequence @xmath1227}$ ] is totally @xmath1228-equidistributed in @xmath938 .
an application of the other direction of proposition [ prop - projection ] then allows us to return to @xmath844 and deduce the stated equidistribution property of @xmath1229}$ ] in @xmath844 .
similarly , proposition [ modified_abelian_equid ] results in an assertion for polynomial orbits on general nilsequences : [ modified_general_equid ] let @xmath1230 be positive integers , and let @xmath1007 be such that @xmath982 for all @xmath983 .
let @xmath1009 be a polynomial sequence of degree @xmath55 and suppose that for every @xmath312-smooth number @xmath10 , @xmath1123 , the sequence @xmath1231}$ ] is totally @xmath76-equidistributed in @xmath844 .
suppose further that @xmath1219 is an integer - coefficient polynomial of degree @xmath1049 as in proposition [ modified_abelian_equid ] .
that is , if @xmath1048 , then @xmath1050 is a @xmath312-smooth integer with @xmath1135 , while all other coefficients satisfy the inequality @xmath1136 . then there is a @xmath312-smooth number @xmath1137 , @xmath1138 , such that each of the sequences @xmath1232}$ ] for @xmath1140 $ ] is totally @xmath1056-equidistributed in @xmath844 , provided @xmath67 is large enough .
let @xmath1233 be an arbitrary non - trivial horizontal character of modulus bounded by @xmath1234 and suppose that @xmath937 has the polynomial representation @xmath1235 in @xmath938 .
let @xmath10 , @xmath1132 , be @xmath312-smooth and consider the sequence @xmath1236}~.\ ] ] by the equidistribution assumption on the subsequences of @xmath333 , by proposition [ prop - projection ] and by proposition [ weyl](b ) , there is an integer @xmath1237 such that for every choice of @xmath984 with @xmath1238 for @xmath1060 , and for every sufficiently large @xmath67 , we have @xmath1239 thus , with @xmath1240 in place of @xmath76 , the conditions of proposition [ modified_abelian_equid ] are satisfied and hence there is @xmath1138 such that for every @xmath1140 $ ] the sequence @xmath1241}\ ] ] is totally @xmath1056-equidistributed in @xmath938 , provided @xmath67 is large enough .
an application of proposition [ prop - projection ] to get back to @xmath844 gives the result .
in view of the previous section , a ` minor arc sequences ' @xmath1009 should satisfy the conditions of proposition [ modified_general_equid ] in order to guarantee its applicability .
that is , given @xmath1242 , @xmath1243 , and @xmath1244 , the sequence @xmath333 should have the property that for every @xmath312-smooth number @xmath1245 the finite sequence @xmath1246 } $ ] is @xmath76-equidistributed in @xmath844 .
in this section we will achieve a factorisation of an arbitrary polynomial sequence @xmath333 into a product @xmath1247 , where @xmath1248 is slowly varying ( ` smooth ' ) , @xmath683 is periodic with a @xmath312-smooth common difference , and @xmath1249 has the ` minor arc property ' described above .
we will ensure that @xmath1249 satisfies a slightly stronger version of this : when we restrict @xmath1249 to subprogressions on which @xmath683 is constant and on which @xmath1248 is almost constant , then the restricted sequence still enjoys the ` minor arc property ' .
this factorisation will be obtained by iteration of the green - tao factorisation theorem ( * ? ? ?
1.19 ) employing its dimension reduction as a guarantee for termination of the iteration .
before we state the factorisation theorem , we recall the notion of smoothness of sequences .
let @xmath844 be a nilmanifold with @xmath1250-rational malcev basis @xmath914 and metric @xmath1251 .
let @xmath1252 be a sequence in @xmath112 , and let @xmath1253 .
then @xmath1248 is said to be @xmath1254-smooth if both @xmath1255 and @xmath1256 are satisfied for all @xmath265 $ ] . in the later iteration of the green - tao factorisation theorem
we will encounter a product of smooth sequences , which needs to be shown to be smooth itself .
notice therefore that , when @xmath1257 is @xmath1254-smooth and when @xmath1258 is @xmath1259-smooth , then the triangle inequality and right - invariance of the metric @xmath55 yield @xmath1260 for all @xmath1261 $ ] . employing also the approximate left - invariance of @xmath55 ( see ( * ? ? ?
* lemma a.5 ) ) , we obtain @xmath1262 thus , @xmath1263 is @xmath1264-smooth .
the tool to split into major and minor arcs is the following green - tao factorisation theorem .
let @xmath1265 , and let @xmath1266 and @xmath703 be real numbers .
suppose that @xmath844 is an @xmath143-dimensional nilmanifold together with a filtration @xmath907 of degree @xmath55 .
suppose that @xmath914 is a @xmath1267-rational malcev basis @xmath914 adapted to @xmath907 and that @xmath1009 .
then there is an integer @xmath1250 with @xmath1268 , a rational subgroup @xmath1269 , a malcev basis @xmath1270 for @xmath1271 in which each element is a @xmath1250-rational combination of the elements of @xmath914 , and a decomposition @xmath1272 into polynomial sequences @xmath1273 with the following properties : 1 .
@xmath1274 is @xmath1275-smooth ; 2 .
@xmath1276 takes values in @xmath1277 , and the finite sequence @xmath1278}$ ] is @xmath1279-equidistributed in @xmath1271 , using the metric @xmath1280 on @xmath1271 ; 3 .
@xmath1281 is @xmath1250-rational , and @xmath1282 is periodic with period at most @xmath1250 .
the proof of our modified factorisation theorem will proceed via an iterative application of the theorem stated above .
our next aim is to prove an auxiliary lemma which will guarantee that the iteration process stops after finitely many steps .
the way this goal is attained is to ensure that every time we refine our splitting of @xmath38 $ ] into subprogressions the polynomial sequence @xmath333 we try to factorise fails to be totally equidistributed ( with some parameter ) on _ each _ of the new subprogressions . this way an application of the factorisation theorem on any new subprogression yields a _
lower _ dimensional rational subgroup .
[ residue - independence ] let @xmath844 be an @xmath143-dimensional nilmanifold and let @xmath1283 be a polynomial sequence of degree @xmath55 . let @xmath1007 be such that @xmath982 for all @xmath983 .
further let @xmath1284 be an integer , and @xmath1285 $ ] .
suppose that @xmath1286}$ ] fails to be @xmath76-equidistributed in @xmath844 for some @xmath1123 .
then there is some @xmath1026 such that each of the sequences @xmath1287}$ ] for @xmath1288 $ ] fails to be @xmath1015-equidistributed in @xmath844 . by proposition [ prop - projection ] and proposition [ weyl](a ) ,
there is a non - trivial horizontal character @xmath1012 of modulus bounded by @xmath1234 such that the function @xmath1289 defined by @xmath1290 satisfies @xmath1291 } \ll \delta^{-o_{m , d}(1)}$ ] .
let @xmath1235 and @xmath1292 be polynomial representations in @xmath938 . then @xmath1293 since @xmath1294 we find , using a downwards induction starting with @xmath1295 , that @xmath1296 indeed , for @xmath1295 the assertion is immediate .
suppose now it holds for @xmath1297 for some @xmath1298 .
we proceed to check the case where @xmath1299 by analysing for @xmath1299 , multiplied through by @xmath1300 .
observe that for all positive integers @xmath56 and for all @xmath1301 @xmath1302 by the assumptions on @xmath1303 and @xmath10 , this bound is @xmath1107 when @xmath1300 and @xmath1304 .
similarly , we have by induction hypothesis for @xmath1305 and all @xmath56 @xmath1306 which certainly is @xmath1307 if we set @xmath1308 .
this allows us to apply the triangle inequality to split up @xmath1309 in the manner of to deduce the assertion for @xmath969 .
next , pick @xmath1288 $ ] and define @xmath1310 such that @xmath1311 , thus @xmath1312 since @xmath1313 for all @xmath1068 , we have for each of the summands @xmath1314 by the assumptions on @xmath76 and @xmath10 , this bound equals @xmath1107 and hence we can apply the triangle inequality to split up @xmath1315 : @xmath1316 by proposition [ weyl](b ) and proposition [ prop - projection ] , this implies the result .
now we finally turn to the modified factorisation theorem which gives the correct type of minor arcs .
[ modified - factorisation ] let @xmath1317 be integers , and let @xmath1318 be integer parameters .
suppose that @xmath844 is an @xmath143-dimensional nilmanifold together with a filtration @xmath907 of degree @xmath55 .
suppose that @xmath914 is a @xmath1267-rational malcev basis @xmath914 adapted to @xmath907 and that @xmath1009 .
suppose further that @xmath1319 and @xmath1320 .
then there is an integer @xmath1250 with @xmath1268 , and a partition of @xmath38 $ ] into at most @xmath1321 disjoint subprogressions @xmath321 , each of length at least @xmath1322 and each of @xmath312-smooth common difference bounded by @xmath1321 such that the restriction of @xmath1323 to any of the progression @xmath321 can be factorised as follows .
there is a rational subgroup @xmath1324 , depending on @xmath321 , and a malcev basis @xmath1270 for @xmath1271 such that every element of @xmath1270 is a @xmath1250-rational combination of elements from @xmath914 ( that is , each coefficient is rational of height bounded by @xmath1250 ) .
suppose @xmath1325 , then we have a factorisation @xmath1326 where @xmath1327 are polynomial sequences from @xmath1328 with the properties 1 .
@xmath1329 is @xmath1330-smooth ; 2 .
@xmath1331 takes values in @xmath1277 and for each @xmath312-smooth number @xmath1332 the finite sequence @xmath1333 is totally @xmath1334-equidistributed in @xmath1271 ; 3 .
@xmath1335 is @xmath1250-rational and @xmath1336 is periodic with a @xmath312-smooth period which is bounded by @xmath1337 .
we may suppose that @xmath333 does not satisfy ( 2 ) , that is , there is some @xmath312-smooth integer @xmath1338 and @xmath1339 such that @xmath1340 fails to be @xmath1341-equidistributed .
writing @xmath1342 , lemma [ residue - independence ] implies that each of the sequences @xmath1343 with @xmath1344 $ ] fails to be @xmath1345-equidistributed for some @xmath1346 .
now , we run through all @xmath1344 $ ] in turn . applying the factorisation theorem in its original form to any of these sequences yields some @xmath1347 , a proper @xmath1348-rational subgroup @xmath1349 of dimension strictly smaller than @xmath143 , and a factorisation @xmath1350 where the finite sequence @xmath1351 is totally @xmath1352-equidistributed in @xmath1353 if @xmath1354 is @xmath1352-equidistributed on every subprogression @xmath1355 of @xmath312-smooth common difference @xmath1356 , where @xmath1357 and @xmath1358 , then we stop ( and turn to the next choice of @xmath1359 ) . otherwise , invoking lemma [ residue - independence ] again
, there is a @xmath312-smooth integer @xmath1356 as above such that with @xmath1360 the finite sequence @xmath1361 defined by @xmath1362 is not @xmath1352-equidistributed for any @xmath1363 $ ] .
we proceed as before .
this process yields a tree of operations which has height at most @xmath1364 , since each time the factorisation theorem is applied a new sequence @xmath1365 is found that takes values in some strictly lower dimensional submanifold @xmath1366 of @xmath1367 .
thus , we can apply the factorisation theorem at most @xmath143 times in a row before the manifold involved has dimension @xmath393 .
the tree we run through starts with @xmath333 , which has @xmath1368 neighbours @xmath1369 , one for each @xmath1344 $ ] .
each @xmath1369 has @xmath1370 neighbours @xmath1371 , one for each @xmath1363 $ ] , etc .. as a result , we obtain a decomposition of the range @xmath38 $ ] into at most @xmath1372 subprogressions of the form @xmath1373 for some @xmath1374 , and where each @xmath1375 depends on @xmath1376 .
the common difference of such a progression @xmath321 is @xmath312-smooth and bounded by @xmath1372 .
thus , @xmath321 has length at least @xmath1377 .
the iteration process furthermore yields a factorisation of @xmath1378 , which is the restriction of @xmath333 to @xmath321 : @xmath1379 where @xmath1380 for certain integers @xmath1381 , and @xmath1382 in view of the remarks following the definition of smoothness of sequences , the factor @xmath1383 is a @xmath1384-smooth sequence .
further , the periodic sequences @xmath1385 are easily seen to have a @xmath1386-smooth , i.e. @xmath312-smooth , period .
with the help of the modified factorisation theorem , theorem [ modified - factorisation ] , we will show that the general non - correlation estimate follows from the special case of non - correlation with ` minor arc nilsequences ' that enjoy property ( ii ) of the modified factorisation theorem .
the general case is the following proposition .
[ non - corr ] let @xmath844 be a nilmanifold of dimension @xmath1387 , let @xmath907 be a filtration of @xmath112 of degree @xmath1388 , and let @xmath1389 be a polynomial sequence .
suppose that @xmath844 has a @xmath1250-rational malcev basis @xmath914 for some @xmath1390 , defining a metric @xmath915 on @xmath844 .
suppose that @xmath1391 $ ] is a lipschitz function .
then we have for @xmath1392 and @xmath1393 @xmath1394 } ( r'_{f,\beta}(n ) - 1 ) f(g(n))\gamma| \ll_{m , d,\gamma , a } q^{o_{m , d,\gamma , a}(1 ) } ( 1 + \|f\| ) m_0^{-a}\ ] ] for any @xmath1395 and @xmath1396 .
similarly as in 2 of @xcite , we will deduce this result from the following special case involving only ` minor arc nilsequences ' .
[ non - corr , equid.case ] let @xmath1397 be a large integer and let @xmath76 , @xmath312 and @xmath1398 be parameters such that @xmath1007 , @xmath1399 for all @xmath1400 , @xmath1401 and @xmath1402 .
suppose that @xmath1403 is an @xmath143-dimensional nilmanifold with some filtration @xmath907 of degree @xmath55 and suppose that @xmath1009 .
suppose further that for every @xmath312-smooth number @xmath1332 the finite sequence @xmath1404}$ ] is @xmath76-equidistributed in @xmath844 .
then for every lipschitz function @xmath1405 satisfying @xmath1406 and for every @xmath312-smooth number @xmath1123 and every @xmath1407 $ ] , we have @xmath1394 } ( r'_{f,\beta}(qn+r)-1 ) f(g(n)\gamma)| \ll \delta^{c } \|f\|\ ] ] for some @xmath896 such that @xmath1408 .
observe that @xmath1409 .
we may assume that @xmath1410 , thus @xmath1411 .
the modified factorisation theorem can now be applied to the sequence @xmath1412 with the following parameters : @xmath1402 , @xmath1413 , @xmath1414 .
this yields a partition of @xmath1415 $ ] into at most @xmath1416 progressions of @xmath532-smooth common differences . by the triangle inequality
, it suffices to show that @xmath1417 for every progression @xmath321 in the partition .
for each of these progressions @xmath1418 , the modified factorisation theorem provides us with a factorisation of the restriction of @xmath333 to @xmath321 : @xmath1419 where @xmath1327 satisfy @xmath1420 , @xmath1421 and @xmath1422 from theorem [ modified - factorisation ] . proceeding as in @xcite ( see _ loc .
_ for full details ) , we split each @xmath321 into subprogressions @xmath1423 in such a way that * @xmath1424 is constant on each progression , say @xmath1425 for @xmath1426 , and * @xmath1427 is almost constant : to be precise , the @xmath1428 are such that @xmath1429 for some @xmath1430 and all @xmath1431 which implies @xmath1432 by smoothness of @xmath1433
. from each @xmath1428 , we choose a fixed element , say @xmath1434 .
then the lipschitz property of @xmath111 , right - invariance of the metric , and smoothness of @xmath1433 imply that for every @xmath1426 @xmath1435 provided @xmath1010 was chosen large enough .
hence it suffices to show that @xmath1436 the aim is now to apply proposition [ non - corr , equid.case ] to @xmath1437 , @xmath1438 property @xmath1421 of the modified factorisation theorem was set up so as to ensure that @xmath1439 still enjoys the ` minor arc property ' ( on @xmath1440 rather than @xmath844 , of course ) .
note that the lipschitz constant of @xmath1441 , @xmath1442 is bounded by @xmath1443 by ( * ? ? ?
* lemma a.16 ) . since @xmath1428 has a @xmath532-smooth common difference and length at least @xmath906 , proposition [ major_arc_estimate ] implies that @xmath1444 does not correlate with any function @xmath1445 , where @xmath896 is a constant .
hence we can subtract off the mean value of @xmath1446 and reduce to the assumption @xmath1447 .
all remaining technical details work exactly as in ( * ? ? ? * and app.b ) , so we have chosen , given their technical complexity , to omit them here .
we complete the proof of proposition [ non - corr , equid.case ] and therefore the analysis of correlation of @xmath1448 with nilsequences .
recall the conditions of proposition [ non - corr , equid.case ] .
in particular , we are given a polynomial sequence @xmath1449}$ ] such that for every @xmath532-smooth number @xmath1332 the finite sequence @xmath1404}$ ] is @xmath76-equidistributed in @xmath844 .
the parameter @xmath76 satisfies the condition @xmath1450 , which will allow us later to apply proposition [ modified_general_equid ] .
we are required to show that for every lipschitz function @xmath1451 satisfying @xmath1406 , for every @xmath532-smooth number @xmath1123 , and for every @xmath1407 $ ] , we have @xmath1452 } ( r'_{f,\beta}(qn+r)-1 ) f(g(n)\gamma)| \ll \delta^{1/o_{m , d}(1 ) } \|f\|~.\ ] ] by @xmath76-equidistribution of @xmath1218}$ ] and since @xmath1453 , it suffices to show that @xmath1452 } r'_{f,\beta}(qn+r ) f(g(n)\gamma)| \ll \delta^{1/o_{m , d}(1 ) } \|f\|~.\ ] ] we may suppose that @xmath1454 has reduced form , that is @xmath1455 . writing @xmath1456 , our aim is to decompose the binary sequence @xmath1457 into a sum of polynomial subsequences @xmath1458 of some equidistributed sequence @xmath1459 . in order to do so ,
let @xmath1460 be the point on the ellipse @xmath1461 that satisfies @xmath1462 . since @xmath75 has reduced form , both @xmath1463 and @xmath1464 hold .
with respect to @xmath1465 , the summation over @xmath1466 now splits into three parts ( cf .
figure [ picture ] ) such that on each part one of the variables @xmath336 and @xmath489 may be fixed , while the free variable will range over an interval of length at least @xmath1467 .
this decomposition yields @xmath1468 to remove the congruence condition @xmath1469 in this explicit form , we consider the set @xmath1470 of all solutions @xmath1471 ^ 2 $ ] to the congruence @xmath1472 . by corollary [ lifted - densities ]
the density of these solutions for a @xmath532-smooth integer @xmath10 , @xmath1407 $ ] and @xmath559 satisfies @xmath1473 to simplify the notation , define @xmath1474 and @xmath1475 . considering any of the three parts of our summation above , we may continue this as follows @xmath1476 observe that @xmath1477 for some @xmath1478 depending on @xmath1479 and @xmath548 , is a polynomial that satisfies the conditions of proposition [ modified_general_equid ] .
thus , setting @xmath1480 , we are considering the polynomial subsequence @xmath1481 of @xmath1482 . by proposition [ modified_general_equid ]
there is for each @xmath321 a @xmath532-smooth integer @xmath1138 such that for every @xmath1483 $ ] the sequence @xmath1484 is totally @xmath1485-equidistributed .
splitting the summation into subprogressions modulo @xmath1137 , we have via the triangle inequality @xmath1486 as these arguments also apply to the two remaining parts of the sum this completes the proof of proposition [ non - corr , equid.case ] and also the proof of the main theorem .
i should like to thank my phd supervisor ben green for suggesting the problems studied in this paper and for many valuable discussions and advice .
i am also very grateful to tim browning for insightful comments and suggestions , and to tom sanders for helpful conversations .
e. landau , _ ber die einteilung der positiven ganzen zahlen in vier klassen nach der mindestzahl der zu ihrer additiven zusammensetzung erforderlichen quadrate , _ archiv der mathematik und physik , ser.3 , vol .
13 ( 1908 ) , 305312 . | arxiv |
George L. Campbell 1912 15 December 2004 was a Scottish polyglot and a linguist at the BBC for many years, author of the Compendium of the World's Languages Routledge, 2000, as well as Handbook of Scripts and Alphabets Routledge, 1997. He was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records during the 1980s as one of the world's greatest living linguists, could speak and write fluently in at least 44 languages and had a working knowledge of perhaps 20 others.
He was born in Dingwall, Scotland, as a son of the overseer of gardens and dells for Lord and Lady Seaforth, heirs to the Brahan Castle Estates. The Campbell family lived on the main estate, near the castle.
Campbells sister, Aileen Campbell McCausey, who emigrated to the United States in 1947 noted that her older brother had a slight stammer from an early age. Right through his schooldays, his sister recalled, teachers thought young Campbell a dunce because of his stammer. They relegated him to the back of the classroom and ignored him, which allowed him to devour language books on his own.
Sitting in the back of the classroom, he taught himself Spanish and Italian before learning French and German at secondary school. When he applied to the University of Edinburgh, he found out he needed to know a classic language, so he taught himself six years of Latin in a year and won the schools Latin prize. He found his language books burrowing through secondhand bookstalls at a fish market.
He studied German at the University of Leipzig and mastered eight other languages from fellow students who had come to Leipzig from Central and Eastern Europe. In 1937, he received a degree in librarianship from London University and became assistant librarian in the School of Slavonic Studies. With the outbreak of World War II in 1939, Mr. Campbell was called to the military but was immediately transferred to the BBC World Service as a language supervisor.
He retired in 1974 as head of the Romanian Service. Living in retirement in Brighton, he taught himself classical Chinese, Basque, and several other languages. He also translated academic works, mainly from Russian and German. Mr. Campbell also played piano and taught himself tensor calculus. I wanted to know what the cosmologists were talking about, he told a former BBC colleague.
Another BBC colleague, George Mikes, recalled in The Guardian newspaper that he had made a point of asking native speakers at the BBC about Mr. Campbell's facility. All said that his knowledge was not only adequate but amazing, Mikes wrote.
Douglas Dearie, Mr. Campbell's nephew and a Bowie software engineer, recalled his uncle as a gentle man with a wry sense of humor who, in his soft-spoken Scottish burr, loved telling stories. Dearie recalled that Mr. Campbell and his wife traveled the world but didn't like to go where they already knew the language.
He died of pneumonia on 15 December 2004 in Brighton, England, at the age of 92.
References
George Campbell, fluent in 44 languages Boston.com, News
George Campbell Dies; Spoke 44 Languages The Washington Post
George L. Campbell, 92; Fluent in More Than 40 Languages Los Angeles Times
George Campbell Herald Scotland
George Campbell, linguist The Scotsman
Category:1912 births
Category:2004 deaths
Category:Scottish linguists
Category:Deaths from pneumonia | wikipedia |
the study population was derived from the inhabitants of tianjin , which is the third largest city and located in the east coastal area in china .
the city is composed of six urban districts , six suburbs , and three newly developed areas .
, a multiphase stratified cluster sampling method was implemented , and a random sample of the city was drawn for the study population .
the strategy of sampling in this study was designed on the basis of socioeconomic status and was in line with the sampling scheme for the chinese national dietary and nutrition study in tianjin . in brief , a three - step randomized sampling procedure was performed as follows : first , two urban districts and one suburb were drawn as the first - stage sample ; second , three communities were selected as the second - level unit ; and , finally , three neighborhoods were chosen as third - level unit .
thereafter , a total of 18 urban and nine suburb blocks were included in the study . all inhabitants ( n = 8,540 ) who had lived in the selected blocks for > 5 years , who were aged 15 years , and who were type 1 diabetes free
were initially invited to participate in the study . in july 2005 , a two - phase survey consisting of a screening phase and further blood testing phase was implemented .
the screening phase included a health interview , physical examination , and fasting peripheral blood glucose test for 8,109 ( 95.0% ) participants . in the second phase , all subjects who had positive screening results ( fasting peripheral blood glucose 5.4
data on age , sex , education , lifestyle , health status , and family history of chronic disease and major stressful events were collected from participants at the screening phase through the interview following a structured questionnaire .
education was categorized by the maximum years of formal schooling and was dichotomized ( 9 vs. < 9 years ) . family history of diabetes was defined as having diabetes in any of the following family members : parents , grandparents ( either paternal and maternal ) , and siblings .
bmi was calculated as weight in kilograms divided by the square of height in meters .
waist circumference was measured between the lower rib margin and the anterior superior iliac spine , and the hip circumference was measured over the maximum of the buttocks .
waist - to - hip ratio was calculated as waist circumference ( centimeters ) divided by hip circumference ( centimeters ) and dichotomized ( < 0.85 vs. 0.85 ) based on its distribution .
alcohol drinking was also dichotomized ( drinking at least once per week vs. former drinker or never drinking ) .
smoking status was categorized as never , low ( 120 cigarettes / day ) , and high ( > 20 cigarettes / day ) .
experience of major stressful events was defined as job or close relatives lost , frequent spousal conflict , or accidents in the past 10 years .
( two times or more per week for at least 1 year ) and nonregular .
fasting peripheral blood glucose was measured with a onetouch ultra2 meter ( life scan ) at the screening phase for all participants , and fasting and 2-h postprandial venous blood samples were taken for subjects who had fasting peripheral blood glucose 5.4
fasting plasma glucose and 2-h postprandial plasma glucose were measured using a glucose oxidase procedure .
type 2 diabetes was ascertained as fasting plasma glucose 7.0 mmol / l or postprandial 2-h plasma glucose 11.1
lada was identified based on immunology of diabetes society criteria ( 16 ) as follows : 1 ) the presence of type 2 diabetes and age 35 years ; 2 ) a lack of requirement for insulin at least 6 months after the diagnosis of type 2 diabetes ; and 3 ) serum gada positivity as tested by radioligand assay ( 17 ) . the characteristics of participants in different groups were compared using tests for categorical variables and one - way anova for continuous variables .
the prevalence rates were calculated as the number of subjects with lada divided by number of subjects and standardized by the structure of total population in the city in 2005 .
multinomial logistic regression analyses were used to estimate the odds ratios ( ors ) and 95% ci of lada and type 2 diabetes in relation to age , sex , education , hypertension , family history of diabetes , smoking , alcohol drinking , physical activity , bmi , waist - to - hip ratio , and major stressful events .
lada and type 2 diabetes were used as separate outcomes , and diabetes - free subjects were used as the referent group in the multinomial logistic regression models .
the analyses were performed in participants aged 35 years ( n = 6,137 ) because of the absence of lada in subjects aged 1534 years .
all statistical analyses were performed using spss 17.0 ( spss , chicago , il ) .
data on age , sex , education , lifestyle , health status , and family history of chronic disease and major stressful events were collected from participants at the screening phase through the interview following a structured questionnaire .
education was categorized by the maximum years of formal schooling and was dichotomized ( 9 vs. < 9 years )
. family history of diabetes was defined as having diabetes in any of the following family members : parents , grandparents ( either paternal and maternal ) , and siblings .
bmi was calculated as weight in kilograms divided by the square of height in meters .
waist circumference was measured between the lower rib margin and the anterior superior iliac spine , and the hip circumference was measured over the maximum of the buttocks .
waist - to - hip ratio was calculated as waist circumference ( centimeters ) divided by hip circumference ( centimeters ) and dichotomized ( < 0.85 vs. 0.85 ) based on its distribution .
alcohol drinking was also dichotomized ( drinking at least once per week vs. former drinker or never drinking ) .
smoking status was categorized as never , low ( 120 cigarettes / day ) , and high ( > 20 cigarettes / day ) .
experience of major stressful events was defined as job or close relatives lost , frequent spousal conflict , or accidents in the past 10 years .
( two times or more per week for at least 1 year ) and nonregular .
fasting peripheral blood glucose was measured with a onetouch ultra2 meter ( life scan ) at the screening phase for all participants , and fasting and 2-h postprandial venous blood samples were taken for subjects who had fasting peripheral blood glucose 5.4
fasting plasma glucose and 2-h postprandial plasma glucose were measured using a glucose oxidase procedure .
type 2 diabetes was ascertained as fasting plasma glucose 7.0 mmol / l or postprandial 2-h plasma glucose 11.1
lada was identified based on immunology of diabetes society criteria ( 16 ) as follows : 1 ) the presence of type 2 diabetes and age 35 years ; 2 ) a lack of requirement for insulin at least 6 months after the diagnosis of type 2 diabetes ; and 3 ) serum gada positivity as tested by radioligand assay ( 17 ) .
the characteristics of participants in different groups were compared using tests for categorical variables and one - way anova for continuous variables .
the prevalence rates were calculated as the number of subjects with lada divided by number of subjects and standardized by the structure of total population in the city in 2005 .
multinomial logistic regression analyses were used to estimate the odds ratios ( ors ) and 95% ci of lada and type 2 diabetes in relation to age , sex , education , hypertension , family history of diabetes , smoking , alcohol drinking , physical activity , bmi , waist - to - hip ratio , and major stressful events .
lada and type 2 diabetes were used as separate outcomes , and diabetes - free subjects were used as the referent group in the multinomial logistic regression models .
the analyses were performed in participants aged 35 years ( n = 6,137 ) because of the absence of lada in subjects aged 1534 years .
all statistical analyses were performed using spss 17.0 ( spss , chicago , il ) .
the 8,109 participants consisted of 3,878 ( 47.8% ) men and 4,231 ( 52.2% ) women ( = 15.37 , p < 0.001 ) . age and sex distributions in our study population were similar to the distributions in the source population in tianjin based on data from the annual statistic report , tianjin , 2005 . among all subjects , 498 ( 6.1% ) had type 2 diabetes , which included 268 ( 53.8% ) with previously diagnosed diabetes and 230 ( 46.2% ) with newly detected diabetes .
of the 498 patients with type 2 diabetes , 46 ( 9.2% ) were found to have lada .
patients with lada were more likely to be older and obese , to have hypertension , and to have a family history of diabetes and stressful events but showed less alcohol drinking , compared with diabetes - free subjects .
the three groups did not differ significantly in terms of education and smoking ( table 1 ) .
characteristics of the study participants by type 2 diabetes and lada data are n ( % ) or means sd .
* numbers of subjects with missing values were 195 for alcohol drinking , 162 for hypertension , 803 for family history of diabetes , 43 for major stressful events , 5 for bmi , and 11 for waist - to - hip ratio .
table 2 shows that the prevalence of lada was 9.2% ( 8.0% in women and 11.1% in men , p = 0.253 ) in individuals with type 2 diabetes . among all participants , the prevalence of lada was 0.6% for both men and women and was 0.7% in participants aged 35 years .
the standardized prevalence of lada was 0.69% ( 0.68% in men and 0.70% in women ) , which was based on the source population aged 35 in tianjin in 2005 . with age ,
the prevalence of lada slowly increased up to 5059 years and seemed to decline thereafter .
however , the prevalence of type 2 diabetes was dramatically elevated with age and tended to continuously increase after age 60 years ( fig .
1 ) . prevalence of lada in patients with type 2 diabetes and all participants data are n ( % ) unless otherwise indicated .
prevalence of lada and type 2 diabetes in all participants . in multinomial logistic regression , hypertension , family history of diabetes , high waist - to - hip ratio , and major stressful events
were significantly associated with both lada and type 2 diabetes , compared with diabetes - free subjects .
age , female sex , and high bmi ( 25 kg / m ) were positively and alcohol drinking was negatively related to type 2 diabetes . although these factors seemed to be associated with lada ,
the association did not reach statistical significance because of the small number of patients with lada ( table 3 ) .
regular physical activity ( or 0.95 [ 95% ci 0.491.84 ] for lada and 0.91 [ 0.641.29 ] for type 2 diabetes ) and education ( 9 years ) ( 0.99 [ 0.531.83 ] for lada and 0.82 [ 0.671.01 ] for type 2 diabetes ) were not significantly associated with either lada or type 2 diabetes . compared with subjects who never smoked ,
subjects who smoked low and high numbers of cigarettes had ors of 1.02 ( 95% ci 0.561.88 ) and 1.89 ( 0.448.02 ) for lada and 0.89 ( 0.721.10 ) and 1.50 ( 0.882.56 ) for type 2 diabetes , respectively .
factors and ors of prevalent lada and type 2 diabetes * adjusted for age , sex , alcohol drinking , bmi , waist - to - hip ratio , hypertension , family history of diabetes , and major stressful events if applicable .
a standardized workup for the gada assay was performed in 50 patients with newly diagnosed type 1 diabetes and 100 control subjects ( mean age 32 , range 480 years ) .
the results showed that the median area under the receiver operator characteristic curve was 0.95 ( 86% sensitivity and 95% specificity ) .
in this large population - based cross - sectional study , we found that 1 ) the prevalence of lada is 9.2% among individuals with type 2 diabetes and 0.6% in all participants , 2 ) the prevalence slowly increased with age up to 60 years and was high in individuals aged 5059 years , and 3 ) hypertension , family history of diabetes , high waist - to - hip ratio , and experience of stressful events are related to the occurrence of lada .
the prevalence of lada varies according to the populations involved , criteria used , and antibodies analyzed .
it has become clear that lada accounts for 10% of initial diagnoses of type 2 diabetes ( 18 ) .
epidemiological studies have shown conflicting results on the differences in lada prevalence in terms of age and sex among people with type 2 diabetes .
one study showed a male predominance of lada , whereas other studies found a higher prevalence among women ( 6,19 ) .
another study reported that the prevalence of gada positivity is 0.9% in a spanish population aged 1865 years ( 20 ) . in this population - based cross - sectional study , we found that 1 ) the prevalence of lada is 9.2% among individuals with type 2 diabetes and 0.6% in all participants and 2 ) the prevalence is not sex specific but is high in individuals aged 5059 years .
autoimmunity is the major cause of type 1 diabetes and is assumed to be the cause of lada , which shares the biochemical marker of -cell directed autoimmunity with classic type 1 diabetes ( 21 ) .
mild form of type 1 diabetes , which shows slow progression to insulin dependence .
the fact that hla - dr4-dq8 antigens are more widespread among patients with classic type 1 diabetes than among those with lada may offer an explanation as to why patients with lada do not develop insulin dependence as quickly as patients with classic type 1 diabetes ( 22 ) .
the risk factors for lada are less well understood than those for type 1 and type 2 diabetes .
previous studies based on cross - sectional data have shown that patients with lada were younger and less obese than type 2 diabetic subjects ( 5 ) or found these variables to be similar in those with type 2 diabetes .
a population - based prospective study has shown the risk effect of age , overweight , and physical inactivity on lada ( 14 ) . a cross - sectional study indicated that family history of diabetes is a strong risk factor for lada because of a combination of shared genetic and environmental factors ( 13 ) .
in addition , a recent clinical study reported patients with lada having more metabolic disorders such as hypertension and overweight ( 10 ) . in the present study , we found that hypertension , family history of diabetes , high waist - to - hip ratio , and experience of major stressful events are related to both lada and type 2 diabetes , suggesting that lada and type 2 diabetes might share risk factors .
however , the statistical power was limited for the analyses of other factors for lada because of the small number of patients with lada in our study .
further population - based longitudinal studies are warranted to clarify the temporality for the relationships between these factors and lada risk .
the main strengths of our study are the large population - based sample , the randomized sampling procedure , the diagnosis of diabetes based on both fasting and prandial plasma glucose level , and the identification of individuals with lada by gada positivity .
first , we used fasting peripheral blood glucose rather than fasting plasma glucose as the screening test ; thus , patients with diabetes might have been misclassified in the nondiabetes group , which would attenuate our results .
in addition , individuals with a severe or long - standing chronic disease , e.g. , diabetes , might have refused to participate in this study because of their unhealthy condition . on the other hand ,
it is possible that individuals with mild type 2 diabetes might be more interested in participation than those without this condition .
however , the participation rate was high ( 95% ) , and the prevalence of type 2 diabetes in this study is comparable to that in previous reports .
second , the definition used for lada as age 35 years might be arbitrary . yet , in our study , all patients with type 2 diabetes who were aged < 35 years were gada negative .
third , information on the presence of current and past disease and family history of diabetes was mainly based on self - report .
subjects with diabetes are probably more likely to be aware of relatives with diabetes ; therefore , recall bias may not be ruled out .
however , the prevalence of smoking and hypertension in our study was similar to the prevalence reported by other studies .
in addition , information on several diabetes - related diseases such as cerebrovascular disease and coronary heart disease was not available . finally , the temporality of the given associations is unclear because of the cross - sectional design of this study . in summary ,
our results show that the prevalence of lada is 9% among individuals with type 2 diabetes and high in individuals aged 5059 years .
hypertension , family history of diabetes , high waist - to - hip ratio , and experiences of stressful events are associated with the occurrence of lada , suggesting the involvement of both genetic and environmental factors in lada .
given the high prevalence of type 2 diabetes worldwide , our findings highlight the need to identify patients with lada for proper treatment .
further population - based longitudinal studies are required to verify the risk factors for the development of lada . | pubmed |
osteoporosis is recognised as a major public health problem through its association with low trauma or fragility fracture .
osteoporotic hip fracture is an established health problem in the west over the last six decades and is increasingly being recognised as a growing problem in asia . with a rising life expectancy throughout the globe , the number of elderly individuals is increasing in every geographical region ; the incidence of hip fracture is estimated to rise from 1.66 million in 1990 to 6.26 million in 2050 .
all osteoporotic fractures increase patient morbidity ; however , the fractures of hip and vertebrae are associated with significant mortality .
hip fracture incidence increases exponentially with age and more so in women . with changing world population dynamics
it has been estimated that more than half of these fractures will be seen in asia by year 2050 .
the exact reasons for this geographic variation are ill understood but genetic factors , less bone mineral content , an aging population and environmental factors such as dietary factors and vitamin d levels are important in the pathogenesis of hip fracture . understanding this changing epidemiology of hip fracture is therefore essential to develop strategies for the future with a special emphasis on asia .
keywords that were employed included hip fracture , incidence rate , geographic variation , osteoporosis , and epidemiology .
the articles were chosen based on the basis of ( 1 ) focus : studies that were said to specifically focus on geographic variation in hip fracture from different continents with a focus on asia ; ( 2 ) language : studies that were in english ; ( 3 ) methods : studies that used statistical tests to examine hip fracture incidence rates .
age - standardized hip fracture rates ( per 100,000 ) across different continents and asian countries are given in table 1 and figure 1 , respectively .
the highest hip fractures are seen in us populations but the recent trends show that these fracture rates have either stabilized or decreased in the last two decades . in a population - based study from minnesota it has been observed that annual age - adjusted incidence rates among women rose rapidly until 1950 only to fall slowly thereafter .
age - adjusted rates in men rose more steadily before beginning a downturn after 1980 .
a californian study looked at hip fracture rates between 1983 and 2000 , with particular interest in the hispanic population , the largest , fastest growing ethnic minority in the united states .
hip fractures were identified using the annual hospital patient discharge database . among non - hispanic white women in california
the standardised annual hip fracture rates for those 55 years old and over fell steadily over the past two decades by 0.6% per year in women and 0.5% in men .
by contrast annual fracture rates amongst hispanic women increased by 4.9% per year and 4.2% in men .
this supports the hypothesis that residence in early life has a much greater association with variation in hip fracture rates that does current region of residency .
another explanation is that hispanic men and women have been shown to partake in less physical activity and have a greater risk of nutritional deficits than non - hispanic whites . in a recently published study by brauer and coworkers ,
it was concluded that in the us the annual mean number of hip fractures was 957.3 per 100,000 for women and 414.4 per 100,000 for men .
the age - adjusted incidence of hip fracture increased from 1986 to 1995 and then steadily declined from 1995 to 2005 .
the age - adjusted fracture incidence in canada is 86.4 per 100,000 in women and 53.4 per 100,000 in men .
on comparison with data from the us , the overall fracture rate in canadian women was 30% lower than that in us women in 2001 and 26% lower than that in german women in 2004 .
canadian men showed similar overall hip fracture rates to american men prior to age 80 years but 26% lower rate after 80 years . in europe ,
there are a large number of studies looking at the incidence as well as secular trends in this geographically northern region .
the incidence rates vary from north to south europe , the highest being in sweden and norway and the lowest in france and switzerland . from norway
the reported age standardised annual incidence rates of hip fracture are 920 per 100,000 in women and 399.3 per 100,000 in men and those in switzerland are 346 per 100,000 and 137.8 per 100,000 in women and men , respectively .
studies from malmo , sweden showed an exponential increase in hip fracture incidence from 1950 to 1985 in both men and women over age 50 , increasing from an annual age - adjusted incidence of 150 to 390 per 100,000 in men and 300 to 830/100,000 in women . a recent study from the uk looked at hospital episode statistics from 19891998 .
age - standardised incidence rates increased by 32% in women and 38% in men to 1991 - 92 and thereafter remained stable . in the netherlands between 1972 and 1987 the age - adjusted incidence of hip fractures rose linearly from 479/100,000 to 669/100,000 per year in women and from 198/100,000 to 308/100,000 in men aged 65 years and over using the dutch medical registry .
european data on hip fracture shows a clear north - south gradient with the highest hip fractures occurring in scandinavian countries and the lowest in spain , and one of the reasons may be that colder winter induces more falls in an elderly population .
the age - adjusted rates from australia are 130/100,000 person years in men and 390/100,000 person years in women with no significant change over the last two decades .
women aged 6575 years were the only age specific group with a 1% decline in annual incidence of hip fracture and the rest being unchanged during the period .
this may be due to different methods used for fracture incidence measurement . in a study published from mexico in 2005 ,
the annual rates of hip fracture in the two public health care systems were 169 in women and 98 in men per 10,000 person years .
overall the fracture rates are much less than those seen in us and europe , and the major reason is shorter life span .
a major study concluded that in a japan population aged 35 years or older the crude incidence of hip fracture was 244.8 per 100,000 person years from 2004 to 2006 , and the gender - specific incidence was 99.6 per 100,000 person years for men and 368 per 100,000 person years for women .
when data was analysed and compared with that from 30 years ago it was also concluded that there is an increasing incidence of hip fracture in japanese populations .
the highest incidence of hip fracture from asia has been reported from singapore . a study by koh et al .
revealed that hip fracture rates from 1991 to 1998 ( per 100,000 ) were 152 in men and 402 in women , and this was 1.5 and 5 times higher than corresponding rates in 1960s . since 1960
the main increase in hip fracture rates has been seen in chinese and malays with rates in indian ethnic group appearing to decrease .
incidence rates of hip fracture from hong kong are 110 per 100,000 in women and 50 per 100,000 in men as per data from public hospitals in 1995 .
secular trends on hip fracture from hong kong suggest that over the last three decades the age specific incidence increased 2.5 fold in women and 1.7-fold in men .
the incidence rates were found to be similar to those seen in wessex health region of uk . in beijing , china hip fracture incidence was obtained from admissions between 1988 and 1992 within the 76 city hospitals .
it was presumed that all the fracture cases from beijing go to these public hospitals only .
the majority of data from the middle east is available from iran from the iranian multicenter study on accidental injuries .
this study reported age - standardized incidence rates of 127.3 per 100,000 person years in men and 164.6 per 100,000 person years in women which are much lower than those of all the western countries and us population .
there need to be more studies from other parts of asia especially from india in order to understand the geographic variation in hip fracture in this region as a whole .
conducted a study in cameroon by documenting all patients aged 35 years and older admitted to the two main urban hospitals in cameroon following a diagnosis of fracture during two years . using the 1997 estimates of population , the incidence of low energy trauma fractures ( per 100,000 persons over 35 years ) was 4.1 in women and 2.2 in men at hip .
similar low fractures rates have been reported from morocco in 2005 . to investigate the geographic variation in different parts of the world and whether this is genuine or related to error in data collection , schwartz et al
. carried out a cross - national study of hip fracture in five geographic areas beijing , china ; budapest , hungary ; hong kong ; porto alegre , brazil ; reykjavik , iceland during the years 19901992 .
cases of hip fracture among women and men of 20 years and older were identified using hospital discharge data in conjunction with medical records , operating room logs , and radiology logs .
estimated rates varied widely , with beijing reporting the lowest rates ( 45.4 per 100,000 in men and 39.6 ) and reykjavik the highest rates ( men = 141.3 ; women = 274.1 ) .
rates were higher for the women than for the men in all areas except beijing .
the study demonstrated large differences in hip fracture incidence rates , with age - adjusted incidence rates in women being 6 times higher and in men over 3 times higher in reykjavik compared with beijing .
results of this study indicate substantial limitation in relying on the hospital discharge data alone to estimate hip fracture incidence rates but the error found in the discharge lists is smaller than the large international variation found .
the study concluded that the differences reported among countries mainly reflect genuine variation in the hip fracture incidence rates .
the influence of ethnicity on risk of osteoporotic fractures was analysed by our group ( unpublished ) .
the rates vary considerably according to the geographic area and race and may vary widely within the same country and within populations of a given sex and race . in europe , hip fracture rates vary 7-fold between countries . in general people who live in latitudes
the highest rates of hip fracture are seen in caucasians living in northern europe , especially scandinavians .
a study from 1989 found that the age - adjusted 1-year cumulative incidence of hip fracture in norway was 903/100,000 for women and 384/100,000 for men .
the rates are intermediate in asians , china and kuwait , and the lowest in black populations . while studies in central norway suggest a stabilisation in fracture rates in recent years , a californian study published in 2004 reported a doubling of hip fracture rates in hispanics while no significant change occurred among black or asian men or women .
many of the lower incidence rates seen in the developing countries can be partially explained by lower life expectancy ; in latin america only 5.7% of the population is over 65 . reduced longevity may also be the explanation for the low fracture rates observed in morocco .
the reasons for these geographic and ethnic variations are ill understood but factors which may be responsible are genetic factors and environmental factors .
those factors studied so far , such as alcohol consumption , smoking , activity levels , obesity , and migration status , have not explained these trends however . reduced lifespan in african and asian population may be one important attribute for the lower incidence of hip fracture in these regions . further research is clearly needed to explain these important environmental factors .
to conclude , osteoporotic hip fractures are responsible for both morbidity and mortality among an elderly population and consume a large amount of health care resources in europe and the usa .
however , a recent decline in the hip fracture incidence in these regions is good news for health authorities but that is not true for the rest of the world . with a changing population profile and increasing elderly population in asian countries
there will be a shift of focus from europe and us to asia ; health authorities need to prepare to face this challenge in the next four decades . | pubmed |
Armand & Angelina Return to UCPC!
July 8th and 9th we'll have not one, not two, but THREE opportunities to enjoy the music, message, and mirth of Armand & Angelina!
Armand - ordained musical minister, singer/songwriter/pianist/Native American flautist and Angelina - classically trained vocalist/classical guitarist travel across the country sharing their World Popera Music. The tour is called "Our Neverending Story" and its purpose is to remind of our oneness and help the world to experience "Heaven on Earth."
Angelina's angelic voice will penetrate your heart with its enchanting beauty, as she sings and chants her spirit-affirming melodies.
Their complementary styles and passionate love for each other have inspired them to bring their music to churches, conventions, conferences, and yoga centers, spreading their message of personal and spiritual transformation in their own delightful way.
Armand and Angelina have performed with speakers, such as Marianne Williamson, Neale Donald Walsh, Alan Cohen, Gerald Jampolsky, Dan Millman, Swami Beyondananda, and Edwene Gaines and performers, David Roth, Jana Stanfield, Steven Halpern, James Twyman, Leroy White and Greg Tamblyn.
Make plans to join us for Sunday morning's 10:30 service then stick around to explore the joy of making your own kind of music on a Native American Flute. Come back Monday evening for a one-of-a-kind posi-musical experience with something for every musical taste!
Click the images below for a larger view.
Make plans to join us! | slim_pajama |
Saint Seiya 1. Cálido y Frío
**_Disclaimer: Saint Seiya y sus personajes no son míos son de Masami Kurumada y demás... si fueran míos yo sería rica y os aseguro que no estaría escribiendo fanfics, sino mejorando el anime de Hades xDDDD. _**
******Capítulo 1: Cálido y Frío**
******-Grecia, 12 de Junio-**
Lo digo ahora y lo diré siempre.
Nunca me gustará el calor de esta región, es diferente al calor del volcán. Amo el frío y todo lo que con el trae. Al salir del avión junto a Lady Flare observo las gentes de allí, tan morenos y sonrientes; me vuelvo a la señorita y ella también sonríe, buscando a alguien con sus ojos. Suspiro agobiada, no tengo ganas de estar aquí, no quiero estar aquí y no debo estar aquí... Quiero volver a Asgard, con Hagen y con Siegfried, quiero volver a correr por los pasillos del Valhalla y llevarme las regañinas de las Valquirias mayores...
- Ya llegó -oigo decir a la princesa Flare, me vuelvo a ella y veo a donde señalan sus blancos y finísimos dedos; cabello oscuro, ojos índigo y unos labios dignos de besarse. Sacudo la cabeza¿pero qué demonios estoy pensando? Aún no conozco a este tipo, además soy una Valquiria del Dios Odín.
- Lady Flare -su voz era un cántico de ángeles y de demonios a la vez, frío y calido, salado y dulce. Mi cuerpo se estremeció por completo, en ese instante me miró y yo le devolví una mirada tan fría como la de él, mis bajos instintos se calmaron rápidamente tras de aquello. La princesa me lo presentó como el guardián de la Onceava Casa del Santuario de la Diosa Atenea, el mismo donde ahora me dirijo.
- También es Maestro de Hyoga del Cisne -dice alegremente Lady Flare, mi cuerpo se tensiona y me quedo parada con la mirada vacía al horizonte-. ¿Alexiel?
- ¿Cygnus Hyoga? -pregunto aún incrédula de todo lo que está pasando por mi mente a una velocidad vertiginosa.
- Así es -responde el joven de ojos índigos clavando sus ojos en los míos más claros.
Cygnus Hyoga, el mismo que fue a Asgard antes que ninguno de sus compañeros. El mismo que embaucó a Lady Flare, el mismo que se enfrentó a Hagen, mi hermano, mi Maestro y mi padre... Mi única familia. Su asesino... el mismo que ahora se acerca a nosotros en la entrada del Santuario.
Sin duda alguna, Grecia si es un sitio extraño, muy extraño.
Estoy demasiado estresada desde que le he visto. Hagen nunca ha dejado de decirme que no debo pensar mal en él, que nosotros éramos los equivocados, que estábamos manipulados pero mi hermano no entiende lo que yo sentí al verle muerto... muerto de manos del que ahora le sonríe a mi princesa y me mira extrañamente.
¿Curiosidad, Cisne¿No me recuerdas?
El Maestro me mira de arriba a abajo, observa la mirada que le dedico a su alumno y parece que intenta entrar en mi mente para saber algo. Le miro y le dedico la más fría de mis miradas, cerrando mi mente a él. Lady Flare se da cuenta de lo incómoda que me encuentro y pone una mano en mi hombro. Suspiro y sigo adelante, pero siempre atenta a lo que hablan o pueden decir de mí.
- ¿Quién es ella, Flare?
- Se llama Alexiel, es una futura Diosa Guerrera.
- Parece una persona bastante fría…
- Justo como vos, Maestro Camus, ella es una Maestra del hielo.
Camus, así que el otro se llama Camus y es un Maestro de los hielos. Sonrío justo al llegar a la última de las Casas del Zodíaco, si este Maestro supiera todas las cartas que puedo llegar a jugar. Lady Flare se posiciona a mi lado y entramos a ese llamado Templo del Patriarca, me echo algo atrás dejando entrar antes a mi princesa por aquel pasillo de armaduras doradas, doce de ellas, para ser concretos.
A los lados de cada Caballero su alumno o alumna y al final los Caballeros de Bronce. La princesa hizo una leve reverencia a un joven de cabellos verdosos y sonrió, el hombre le tomó la mano y la llevó con él. Yo me quedé atrás con una rodilla en el suelo y sin levantar la mirada, escuchando los cuchicheos de los atenienses al ver que no movía uno solo de mis músculos.
- Levántate Alexiel de Merak -la sorpresa cruzó la cara del Cisne al escuchar el apellido-. Sed bienvenida a las tierras de la Diosa Atenea.
- Muchas gracias, Milord -dije haciendo una leve reverencia.
- ¿Os sentís bien en este calor?
- Es una leve brisa veraniega -susurré levemente y sonreí torvamente-. Comparado con el dominio del fuego y del hielo en manos de un Merak, esto es eso, Milord, brisas...
Punto para la nórdica: Alexiel 1 - Grecia 0
Observo a los maestros y alumnos atenienses, algunos al escuchar mis palabras solo ríen pero otros parecen molestos, muy molestos entre ellos un joven de ojos verdes y piel morena; le veo cerrar los puños tan fuertes y eso me hace reír.
-Espero entonces que la brisa sea de su agrado.
-Así es, Milord -dije volviendo a bajar mi mirada mientras Lady Flare volvía a hablar con él, más tarde me enteraría era el Patriarca, sentí las miradas de todos sobre mí, especialmente del Caballero de Acuario y de una de las alumnas que estaban allí presentes.
- ¿Cuál es tu signo del zodíaco, muchacha?
- Escorpio, Milord -en ese instante el joven de ojos verdes se estremece y suspira angustiado. A su lado otro joven le palmea la espalda, entre ellos está esa jovencita que no deja de mirarme.
- Milo de Escorpión -el aludido da un paso adelante, yo lo observo y río por dentro-. Alexiel de Merak -me levanto y cruzo una mirada con el Escorpión y luego miro fijamente al Patriarca-. Desde el día de hoy serán maestro y alumna, compartirán entrenamientos, casa y comida...
- ¡No puede ser posible, Shion! -dice Milo, lo que no puede ser posible es que tengan tan poco respeto a la autoridad, psssttt, atenienses.
- Milord si el Caballero no quiere, no haré lo posible por la adaptación...
- Milo será tu Maestro, quiera o no¿verdad Milo? -dice una suave voz, Lady Flare se vuelve y sonríe tendiéndole una mano a la joven frente a ella; una joven de largos cabellos violáceos.
A su entrada todos los Caballeros, alumnos y el propio Patriarca hincan una rodilla en tierra; Lady Flare baja su mirada pero yo no puedo hacerlo, me quedo observando a aquella joven de aura tan parecida a Lady Hilda. Fuerte y gentil, ella se acerca a mí y sonríe alzando mi cabeza a su mirada, tan suave y tomándome por el mentón sonríe.
- Espero que estéis cómoda aquí Valquiria Alexiel.
- A... ¿Atenea?
La joven frente a mí sonríe, sus Caballeros se levantan menos Milo, quien está cerca de ella y sigue estático.
- Princesa Flare decidle al Guerrero Merak y a Lady Hilda que la joven estará bien, en cuanto acabe su entrenamiento volverá a Asgard, su Maestro será Milo de Escorpión en su primer tiempo con nosotros.
-Así se hará, mi Señora -dice Escorpio sin levantarse.
Al rato Milady Flare se despide de mí dejándome en aquel sitio, la casa del Escorpión Celeste donde ahora me encuentro escribiendo este diario. Ella me dijo que sería un buen recuerdo y una buena forma de desahogarme, y que esperaba que cuando terminase se lo mandara.
_Al levantar el diario para cerrarlo, algo cayó de su interior. Alexiel lo tomó, era una foto de los Dioses Guerreros junto a Flare e Hilda. La nórdica volvió la foto y sonrió; "Sé fuerte y nunca olvides tu tierra. Te queremos" Era la letra de Siegfried y el recuerdo de todos los Dioses Guerreros de Asgard._
2. Simple and Clean
**Grecia, 13 de Junio**
Mi reloj sigue funcionando igual que en Asgard, al mirar por la ventana he visto cómo el astro que domina el día griego comenzaba a levantarse. A toda prisa me levanté de la cama y tomé unas ropas que me proporcionaron antes de llegar a Escorpio, unas mallas a medio muslo negras, camiseta blanca y falda negra. A su lado una máscara, la miro y me río para mis adentros¿no se pensarán que yo voy a andar con eso por aquí, verdad?
Me lavo la cara y cepillo mi cabello, recogiéndolo en una cola alta para que no me moleste en mi entrenamiento. Las ropas que me dejaron me estaban como un guante y desechando la idea de colocarme esa máscara salí afuera del pequeño cuarto para verme cara a cara con mi ahora Maestro, Milo de Escorpio.
- ¿Y la máscara? -me preguntó frunciendo el ceño.
- Ahí dentro -respondo tranquilamente. Veo cómo enarca una ceja algo furioso.
- ¡Dentro del Santuario debes ponértela!
- Yo no vine aquí para ser una Amazona de Atenea, soy una futura Diosa Guerrera -respondo mientras aprieto un poco unas pequeñas pesas que ajusto a mis tobillos. El Caballero Dorado se queda mirándome fijamente e interrogándome con la mirada-. Son pesas de un kilo. En cada tobillo y en cada muñeca -digo enseñándole mis manos-, llevo un kilo de más de peso¿o es que tampoco me dejan?
- Es una buena idea -dice Milo con una pequeña sonrisa-, pero creo que deberías ponerte la máscara y llamarme Maestro, es lo mínimo -me dice con un tono que no es para nada autoritario, es como si quisiese hacerme una pequeña broma. Le observo y sonrió levemente, me recuerda mucho a Syd; aquel aire desenfadado y sobre todo galante.
- Lo de la máscara me niego, puesto que no soy ninguna Amazona de Atenea... Maestro -Milo ríe y sale fuera del Templo.
- Vamos a desayunar y luego empezaremos el entrenamiento.
Sigo a mi Maestro hacia el templo de la Diosa Atenea observando lo que me rodea aún cuando el sol no baña con sus rayos ni una pizca del Santuario, antes de llegar al siguiente Templo le alguien llama. Al volverme veo dos jóvenes de similar aspecto junto a una joven que parece de mi misma edad. Los tres tienen el cabello azulado como mi Maestro, pero la chica lo tiene algo más oscuro.
- Buenos días, alacrán -dice uno de ellos, el otro me hace una pequeña reverencia sin dejar de mirarme y sigue adelante-. Saga no te adelantes, espéranos -mi Maestro va tras de ellos y yo les sigo algo más alejada, quiero seguir observando los parajes griegos.
- Así que estás entrenando con Milo -me vuelvo y la joven de cabellos azules se queda parada. Su piel es morena y sus ojos verdes brillan con viveza-. Perdóname por lo abrupto -me dice la chica sonriendo mientras estira su mano hacia mí-. Me llamo Aleisha, yo tampoco soy Amazona de Atenea.
- Es verdad, no llevas máscara -le digo en forma de saludo y seguimos el camino.
- Soy parte de las huestes de Zeus, padre de Atenea -me vuelvo mientras la miro fijamente, es increíble aquí hay guerreras de diferentes sitios. Este Santuario tiene más sorpresas de las que me imaginé...
Me volví a la morena y seguimos subiendo escaleras, antes de llegar al Templo volvíamos a parar de nuevo. Volví mi mirada arriba, Capricornio.
- Aquí vive el más devoto de Athena, según dicen. -comenta la Amazona de Zeus-. Tiene una alumna, Zelha.
En ese instante ambos salen del Templo, el Caballero parece algo serio y como todos los que he tenido la suerte de ver también es atractivo, sólo que su mirada es bastante fría también. Veo cómo mi Maestro pone su mano alrededor de sus hombros y siguen arriba, en ese momento una joven sale corriendo del Templo tropezándose con Aleisha.
- Oye Cabrita, ten más cuidado... y saluda, que tenemos visita.
- Mier... -la aludida me mira y ríe medio incómoda al tiempo que Aleisha echa a caminar entre risas-. Perdón, es que Shura me ha tirado de la cama -me tiende la mano y hago lo mismo- Zelha, futura Amazona de Capricornio si es que la gracia de Atenea me lo permite.
- Alexiel de Merak, futura Diosa Guerrera de Polaris... -digo mientras le estrecho mi mano, mirándola, ella me observa tras de su máscara. Era la chica que ayer tanto me miraba-, por designios de Odín -terminé de decir recalcando el nombre de mi Dios.
Seguimos subiendo y cuando llegamos a Acuario escuchamos ruido de pelea, mi Maestro entra en tromba seguido de los gemelos, Shura y nosotras detrás cuando veo al Cisne parando los golpes de una chica de armadura sin rango aparente, quien le golpeaba fuertemente ante la pasividad de Camus.
- 100$ por Ninah.
- 200$ por Hyoga -dice Shura que se ha unido a nosotras.
- No hay más apuestas -sentencia Aleisha recogiendo el dinero mientras la tal Ninah, golpea con ganas al Cisne gritándole cosas como "asesino".
Mi Maestro quiere meterse pero Camus no le deja, los gemelos ríen y echan porras a la joven, los miro a todos sin acabar de creérmelo. Quiero volver a Asgard, aquí todos andan locos...
En ese justo momento el Cisne arremete contra la joven, enarco una ceja y sonrió susurrando levemente la cantinela de mi ataque, aquello no parece ser un entrenamiento así que mejor le presto mi ayuda a la joven...
- Yunibaasu Furiijingu - como si fuera todo cronometrado la morena se echa a un lado mientras mi ataque rompe contra el Cisne, quien me mira ahora desde el suelo, confundido.
- Ya está bien Ninah, ve al templo de Atenea luego hablamos -le dice Acuario mientras ayuda a un sorprendido Hyoga a levantarse y nosotros comenzamos a salir del Templo junto a la joven Ninah, no sin que antes Camus y Milo me dedicaran una severa mirada.
- Toma Alex, al final ganaste tú -me dice Aleisha tendiéndome un dinero que guardo mientras sonrío maliciosa, golpear al Cisne es algo que relaja mucho.
- ¿Quién eres tú? -me pregunta la chica que peleaba en Acuario que, al igual que Zelha, porta una máscara.
- Me llamo Alexiel de Merak, vengo desde Asgard...
- Y está con Milo en su Templo -termina por apuntillar Aleisha ante la mirada inquisitiva hacia mí de Ninah y el suspiro de Zelha.
- Es mi Maestro -terminé por decir mientras la chica llega hasta Milo y los demás al templo de Athena, sentándose junto a los Caballeros Dorados. Yo camino junto a Aleisha y Zelha a un lado con más aprendices y guerreros de rango inferior.
- Ese es el lado de los caballeros de las 12 casas, además del burro alado y compañía -me dice Zelha-, Ninah es Aprendiza del Santo de Acuario, como es su hermano...
- ...Y le gusta Milo, por no decir que anda enamorada de él -apuntilla Aleisha mientras mira con disgusto y asco el desayuno - ¿Quién anda en la cocina haciendo ésta bazofia?
- Geki y June -dice un pequeño que justo ahora se sienta a su lado mirándome fijamente-. Tú eres la nórdica, la hermana de Merak¿verdad?
- Sí -contesto-, nos conocemos creo... pequeño.
- ¡Claro! -dice riendo-. Soy Kiki, yo estuve en Asgard y cuidé de la princesa Flare cuando la pelea con tu hermano...
- Kiki -susurré antes de meter en mi boca algo de ese desayuno, que no tenía muy buena pinta. Aquello más que un desayuno en la parte de aprendices, terminó siendo una batalla campal de comida, o solo Odín sabía que cosa era aquello.
Justo cuando terminamos de desayunar mi Maestro me llevo al lugar de entrenamiento. El sol pegaba en aquel Coliseo como si la lava cayera alrededor, me dijo que empezara a correr, mínimo veinte vueltas. Suspiré y comencé a correr, algo monótono he de reconocer pero Milo me gritó que era para calentar los músculos. ¿Calentar¿Acaso con aquel calor hacía falta? Ni modos, treinta vueltas y otras tantas sentadillas, luego volver a correr... y ahí vino lo interesante.
- Milo...
Cuando me volví, ahí andaba de nuevo la chica de armadura extraña. Por culpa de la máscara no podía ver su mirada pero seguro que si matasen, sería la primera eliminada del juego. Ella se sentó al lado de él, quien sonrió como tonto, algo gracioso viendo como es, un grandioso Caballero Dorado... Me recuerda a Alberich cuando mira a Erin, o a mi hermano al estar al lado de la chiquita rubia...
- Oye niña -me vuelvo y veo a la chica frente a mí, desafiante, orgullosa. Sonreí y me eché hacia atrás, intentando que el sol no me deslumbrara.
- ¿Niña? Creo que lo de niña irá por ti¿no crees? -al instante sentí el Cosmo frío de la chica llenar el pequeño espacio entre las dos y sonreí- ¿Siberia?
- Así es -elevó más su Cosmo como dándome a entender algo, cerré los ojos y concentre mi propia energía, primero tan helada como la de ella y luego mas cálida que el propio calor asfixiante que se cernía sobre nosotros. Ella levantó su cara y me miró tras esa inexpresiva máscara- ¿Cómo es posible...?
- La casta, Ninah, la estirpe -susurré levemente-. Los Merak somos duales, como el día y la noche, la lluvia y el sol... -elevé mi Cosmo y sonreí-, como el hielo y el magma... -ella se volvió dándome la espalda.
- Sólo te aviso una cosa, no te acerques a Milo más que para lo necesario-Enarqué una ceja de sorpresa y tuve que dejar escapar la risa a lo que mi Maestro empezó a acercarse a nosotras.
- Te aseguro que lo último que haría, es meterme con un ateniense -ella se sorprendió por el leve sobresalto y se volvió a Milo.
Mi maestro la miró irse y suspiró sin poder dejar de mirarla, yo me recogí el cabello que volvía a soltárseme cuando vimos a Kanon llegar con Aleisha. La morena miro a Ninah y luego a mí, sonrió y quedo atrás de su Maestro.
- ¿Conoces la lucha que se hacía antiguamente en Atenas? -enarqué una ceja y miré a Milo, podía sentirme orgullosa de mis clases con Alberich.
- Bien, vamos a jugar a empujarnos -miré a Aleisha y me eché a reír.
- Juguemos...
Aleisha ríe y yo no puedo evitar esbozar una sonrisa en mis labios, esta chica aún sin conocerla ha hecho que yo crea en alguien más que en mi familia; la gran familia del norte de Europa.
-No valen Cosmo, ni ataques -grita el Maestro de mi compañera mientras palmotea la espalda de Milo. Ambas asentimos al grito de "ya" por su parte, nos tanteamos como dos lobos que están a punto de cazar su presa. Veo que Aleisha decide entrar y la esquivo, me mira ante las risas de mi Maestro y dejamos de jugar. Coloca sus manos en mis hombros y yo en los suyos.
- ¿Preparada, rubita¡No voy a dejarte ganar!
- Por fin alguien decente, creo que es por no ser de este Santuario -la Amazona de Zeus se ríe de mis palabras y me empuja un poco intentando desestabilizarme pero no lo logra. Al contrario recibe mi contraataque; la chica ríe y Milo se levanta observándome. En ese instante llegó algo que fue lo que terminó por desestabilizarme y haciendo que Aleisha me tirara y quedara sentada sobre mí.
Cuando me di cuenta tenía a la morena sentada en mi vientre gritando victoria, mientras los tres (Kanon, Milo y el recién llegado que me desestabilizo) hablaban en la arena del Coliseo.
- Oye Alex -me dice Aleisha levantándose y dándome una mano para levantarme-. Te gusta el Acuariano¿ne? -creo notar como las mejillas se me enrojecen violentamente. Cuando me vuelvo a dar cuenta veo a Ninah junto a los Maestros-. Vas a tener que lidiar con ella, es muy celosa con Camus.
- ¡Pero si no me interesa! -termino gritando y todos me miran, Aleisha se echa a reír y yo me sonrojo aún mas. Me vuelvo a Milo y le hago una reverencia-. Maestro yo...
- Ven conmigo -me dice Camus, que no es más que quien logró desestabilizarme, saliendo del Coliseo y no puedo más que seguirle, como un corderito que llevan al matadero.
Él se detuvo a la entrada de las Doce Casas y se volvió, me miró fijamente y sentí cómo una corriente recorría mi cuerpo. Aquellos ojos de color índigo me llenan, me destrozan el alma y vuelven a recomponerla, jugando a su antojo.
- Lo que paso hoy con Hyoga, no volverá a pasar más ¿verdad?
- ¿Se refiere al ataque? Por ahora no -me cruzo de brazos intentando enfriar no sólo mi mirada, sino mi cuerpo sofocado por el calor.
- ¿Por qué quieres eliminarlo?
- Creo que tenéis la respuesta y realmente no soy yo quien debe darla, Caballero Camus, eso sería algo ilógico y estúpido -digo girándome hacia Aries, y pensando en volver a Escorpio, ya que Camus me entorpece el paso hacia el coliseo con su cuerpo.
-Ingeniosa Valquiria, muy ingeniosa -me vuelvo sonriendo y noto la extrañeza en sus ojos al verme sonreír.
- _Touché_ -digo sonriendo y me vuelvo pasando a su lado, hacia el coliseo. Camus se vuelve y me ve marchar.
El resto del día paso normal, entrene más junto a Milo y conocí a varios Caballeros Dorados más, entre ellos el grandote Aldebarán, quien me pidió que fuera a su Templo a comer algo, porque decía que me veía algo delgada; y también a Aioria, 100 griego y encantador. Luego Aleisha me llevó junto a Zelha a las termas y a la Fuente de Atenea, que sería nuestro lugar de reunión…
3. Chance
_**Disclaimer: No, ningún caballero es mio ni la serie ni nada... Bueno la historia si, y el personaje de Alexiel de Merak es completamente mio todito lo demás es de Zelha, Argesh Marek y el mundillo de Kurumada.**_
**Grecia, 5 de Octubre**
Estuve casi 4 meses entrenando junto a Milo, cuatro meses donde mi fortaleza física aumentó y mis ataques, la mayoría de cuerpo a cuerpo, se fortalecieron mucho.
Entrenaba todos los días desde después del desayuno hasta el anochecer, entrenaba junto a Aleisha y su maestro Kanon con quienes entablé una buena relación. Igual con Zelha y su maestro Shura. La aprendiz de Acuario, Ninah y su hermano Camus estuvieron afuera unos meses; salieron un par de semanas después de mi entrada.
Todo iba bien para mí allí, jamás me imaginé que en un sitio como aquel mis horizontes podrían abrirse tanto. Allí había personas tan puras de alma como en Asgard, tan guerreros, tan fieles... Pero aquella mañana mis esquemas se cambiaron.
- Toma -dijo Milo nada más salí de la habitación.
- Primero: buenos días, alacrán superdesarrollado -le dije en tono de burla mientras me ponía las pesas de las muñecas-. Ya te dije cuando llegué que no me pondría esa cosa rara en la cara, no soy ninguna amazona como Marin o Zelha.
- Pero hoy vas a entrenar a Aries y te la tienes que poner; Mu puede sentirse incómodo.
Estupendo, este bicho superdesarrollado me manda a otro lado¿tan hastiado está de mí?
- Stop pequeño¿te crees que puedes y no deshacer conmigo lo que quieras? Creo que le dijiste a Atenea...
- Sé lo que le dije a ella, Blancanieves, y ella ha autorizado que sigas parte de entrenamiento con Mu. Necesitas más poder mental y yo no puedo dártelo. Los únicos que podrían serían Shion, Mu, Shaka o los gemelos; Kanon y Saga están ocupados con Aleisha y podrías volver loco a Buda. Shion tiene suficiente con el Patriarcado y Mu está acostumbrado a andar hiperactivo por culpa de Kiki -dijo Milo, sonriendo.
- Primero no me llames más Blancanieves, pincitas -dije riendo, aquel mote de Blancanieves impuesto por Zelha paso de boca en boca demasiado rápido-. Segundo, si ves que es lo mejor, lo haré. Te prometí seguirte como mi Maestro que eres y si tengo que ponerme esto para ir con Aries pues -tomé la máscara con una mano y caminé hasta la salida-. Hasta esta noche... pincitas.
Escuché las risas de Milo mientras salía de Escorpio hacia Aries pensando en todo lo que había pasado y en que hacía demasiado que no veía a mi familia. Llevaba casi medio año aquí, sin saber nada de ellos, lo ultimo que supe fue que mi hermano había vuelto unos días a Oslo, nada más.
- ¿Dónde vas, rubia? -escuche la voz tras de mí y me volví sonriendo.
- Aries, tengo doble maestro como tú, Aleisha...
- Eso es bueno, Mu es una buena persona. ¿Y eso? -me dijo señalando la máscara.
- Milo... me dijo que me la pusiera. Tal vez asuste a Aries. - Aleisha rió mientras entraba a Géminis.
- Ninguno de los caballeros se asusta de las mujeres, Blancanieves.
Suspiré y me coloqué aquella cosa de metal en la cara. Me sentía extraña, necesitaba aire, era como estar encerrada en una cárcel. Era algo horrible, claustrofóbico; de veras que Zelha y las demás amazonas se merecían el que les quitaran ya aquellas cosas.
Llegué a las puertas que daban la entrada al templo de Aries desde Tauro y me encontré a Kiki, el pequeño pelirrojo me miró extrañado y paro frente a mí.
- ¿Alex?
- Sí pequeño, vengo a entrenar con tu Maestro.
-Lo sabía, Mu me lo dijo. ¿Pero por qué llevas eso? Tú ya eres bonita tal como eres -sonreí a la picardía del pequeño y le revolví los cabellos.
-Cosas de adultos... -Kiki bufó en disgusto ante mi respuesta.
-Me gustas más sin eso, tus ojos desprenden luz -miré al pequeño sorprendida mientras entraba a Aries.
- No te metas en líos¿vale? -Kiki se despidió de mí con la mano mientras subía hacia Tauro, seguramente a probar alguno de los dulces que Aldebarán tendría a mano para el hiperactivo pelirrojo.
Aquel templo era todo lo contrario a Escorpio, era toda calma y tranquilidad. Se respiraba una paz extraña pero agradable. Era como pasear por los pasillos del Valhalla en las rondas de media noche.
- Bienvenida Alexiel de Merak... -aquella voz tan suave, tan alejada del mundo me sobresaltó. Agarré aquel estorbo que era la máscara con una mano y me paré.
- Gracias, Caballero de Aries...
- Llámame Mu -me cortó él, mientras salía a la luz sonriéndome suavemente. De repente se paró y miró fijamente a la máscara-. ¿Y eso?
- Cosas de Milo -susurré, me sentía mal con aquella cosa en mi cara. Vi cómo aquel joven se acercaba a mí y me quedé estática, mirando tras de la máscara aquellos ojos verdes, y aquellos extraños puntos violáceos en las ausentes cejas. Levantó una de las manos y rozó con dos dedos aquella máscara para luego quitarla con suavidad de mi cara, mirándome fijamente a los ojos.
- Así mejor, estás más hermosa si cabe -dijo sonriéndome.
Me sentí por un momento extraña, era como si hubiera soñado aquel momento. Trastabillé un par de pasos hacia atrás dando mi espalda contra una de las columnas. El Santo de Aries pareció caer de un sueño y me miró fijamente.
- Perdóname -susurró aun con la máscara en la mano. Yo estiré la mano y tomé aquella cosa de metal, observándola. Era de color plata y tenía dos extraños dibujos cruzando de un lado a otro-. No te la pongas, no me molesta.
Le miré con un brillo de esperanza y sonreí. Era un chico de más o menos mi edad, un poco más alto que yo pero dentro de él brillaba un Cosmos no sólo gentil, sino fuerte y lleno de poder.
- Gracias -le dije bajando mi mirada y ajustando las pesas de mis muñecas. Siento que el joven sonrió y pasó dentro de su Templo.
- Sígueme -escuché el eco que recorría el Templo mientras me hizo llegar hasta una puerta labrada con unos extraños motivos, pasé un dedo por ellos y la puerta se abrió dando paso a un pequeño jardín. Dos enormes árboles coronaban aquello, me acerqué a uno de los árboles y escalé hasta la copa.
- Es un árbol frutal, cuando este árbol de sus frutos es porque estarás preparada -miré hacia abajo y ahí estaba, calmo y con una sonrisa suave.
- ¿Y si jamás lo estoy?
- Jamás dará sus frutos, aunque te aseguro que te gustará verle florecer.
En ese momento el pequeño Kiki llega hasta nosotros con esa sonrisa que le caracteriza. Bajé del árbol y me quedé junto a él escuchando las primeras teorías que Mu nos explicaba.
Cuando nos damos cuenta estaba atardeciendo, me hubiera quedado una eternidad ahí escuchándole. Su tono de voz tan suave, tan calmado, tan lleno de calidad es totalmente distinto al de Camus. Parpadeé justo cuando andaba a medio camino llegando a Virgo, suspiré y comencé a correr hacia Escorpio; acabo de sentir algo que necesito ver con mis propios ojos. Shaka me ve pasar veloz y sonríe mientras una cucharada de helado de chocolate se pasa hasta su boca.
En los últimos escalones del templo tengo que pararme, me he quedado sin aire; además mi entrenamiento en Aries no ha sido nada físico por lo que si llegara así cansada llamaría mucho la atención. Y creo que la llamé.
- Pensé que te habías ido ya a tu Santuario, nórdica.
Al levantar la mirada la vi y sonreí, aquella máscara sin pizca de sentimientos...
- Ninah… - la mascara plateada frente a mí brillaba con los últimos rayos del sol. Eché mis cabellos hacia atrás y los recogí, intuía como el Cosmos de la chica se había hecho más fuerte-. Pues para tu información... aún me queda mucho aquí.
- Te sentí en Aries¿qué haces aquí? -ouch, eso fue un golpe bajo. Sonreí y llegué a su altura.
- Simplemente tengo entrenamientos teóricos con Mu, y físicos con Milo -el aura que la rodeaba se hacía peligrosa. Tan peligrosa que cuando me di cuenta...
- ¡Orora Borearisu! -salté a uno de los pilares derruidos, cayendo con un solo pie, y sonreí elevando mi Cosmos. ¿Quería pelea? Bien, pues aquí la tendría.
- ¡Yunibaasu Furiijingu! -Aire helado contra aire helado, nuestras fuerzas son tan parecidas que asombran. Ella retira su mano al igual que yo y el ataque se fulmina llegando al cielo y al caer parece como si una pequeña nevada diera la bienvenida a nuestra pelea.
Ninah volvió a quedar en posición de ataque, sé que estaba sonriendo y yo a mi vez sonreí, algo he aprendido aquí y es a distinguir más rápidamente los puntos débiles de cualquier guerrero. Ella vuelve a atacarme con su Aurora Boreal pero jamás se esperó que alrededor de mí se concentre tanto calor, sobre todo cuando segundos antes mi aura ha estado tan fría como los glaciares de Asgard.
- ¡Great Ardent Pressure! -de mi alrededor y de mis propias manos se empieza a desprender calor, una barrera de lava ardiente se alza brillante y hacia ella. Pero en ese momento un contraataque de hielo intentó romper mi barrera sin éxito, derribando a una sofocada Ninah y sacando la máscara de su cara. Me di cuenta del alcance de mi ataque al verla apoyada en sus rodillas y la máscara a sus pies. Aún así me cansó demasiado y eso que no es ni la mitad del ataque de Hagen.
- Jamás pensé que fueras tan fuerte, nórdica -dijo respirando agitadamente, mientras vio como yo también caía, mucho entrenamiento aunado a un ataque así. La miro y sonrío, es muy hermosa; tiene unos enormes ojos verdes parecidos a los de su hermano y su piel es blanca. Ahora comprendo porque mi maestro está loco por ella, pero sigo sin entender el por qué de esconder esa belleza al mundo.
- Eres muy fuerte Ninah, pero aún no comprendo por qué peleamos…-susurré con la respiración agitada.
- No quiero que te quedes con Milo -estallé en risas mientras la observo colocarse aquella cosa de metal de nuevo en la cara. No puedo levantarme así que me siento en el suelo intentando calmar la risa.
- Puedes estar tranquila, sólo lo quiero como Maestro... no me interesaría en él lo mínimo- Ninah me miró extrañada y luego sonrió comprendiendo lo que le he dicho.
- ¿Amigas? -me preguntó acercándose a mi y tendiéndome su mano.
- Claro -sonrió tomándola y empezando a caminar hacia Escorpio hombro con hombro-. Menudo par de tontas somos -Ninah sólo ríe, viendo que la salida nunca ha sido la pelea.
4. Always
_**Disclaimer: No, ningún caballero es mio ni la serie ni nada... Bueno la historia si, y el personaje de Alexiel de Merak es completamente mio todito lo demás es de Zelha, Argesh Marek y el mundillo de Kurumada.**_**
**
**Capitulo IV: Always**
- Despiértate, dormilona...
Me revolví cansada sobre la cama tapándome aún más con las cobijas. La luz del sol que llenaba Escorpio era demasiado temprana, por ese motivo busque en mi adormilada mente, el sitio justo para que el sol no me molestara y ese era bajo las cobijas. Pero por una extraña razón ya no estaban, palpé la cama buscándolas hasta que tuve que levantar mi cuerpo y verme destapada, con ropa de vestir y un triunfante Milo con las cobijas en la mano.
- ¿PERO QUÉ DEMONIOS ESTÁS PENSANDO, PEDAZO DE BICHO?
- Adoro cuando te levantas de buen humor -respondió Milo con una sonrisita en sus labios-. Te doy diez minutos para que te vistas y vayas al Templo de Acuario, el desayuno hoy es allí.
Me volví a echar en la cama revolviéndome en ella. La noche pasada me había acostado demasiado tarde jugando a aquel juego que habían inventado entre Aleisha y Zelha aquel extraño reto o verdad. Recordé como Ninah se quedó de piedra al decirle el juego y a mí me habían tomado bien de conejillo de indias. Las preguntas en torno a Asgard y a los "guapísimos Dioses Guerreros" (como había dicho Aleisha) no se hicieron de esperar. Aunque lo peor eran los retos ya que solían colocar retos demasiado difíciles o imposibles de hacer (como pedirme que fuera a por una prenda interior de algún dorado que no fuera Milo ni Mu) y sino te tocaba tomar alcohol, una pequeña parte pero a quienes no estuviésemos acostumbradas...
_Te doy 10 minutos para que te vistas y vayas al Templo de Acuario, el desayuno hoy es allí_.
Creo que los resortes de mi mente ejercieron como tales, pues me levanté y vestí rápidamente para salir de Escorpio como alma que lleva el diablo, tropezándome con Zelha quien salía de Capricornio visiblemente adormilada.
- Auch... ¿a donde vas con tanta prisa?
- A Acuario¿qué no sabes que el desayuno hoy es allí?
- Lo sé -dijo entre bostezos-. Mi maestro me ha tirado de la cama, es que el día del cumpleaños del Caballero de Acuario se suele desayunar ahí, pero sólo unos cuantos privilegiados con sus respectivos alumnos... -Zelha se volvió para mirarme ya que me quedé parada en las escaleras-.¿Qué te pasa?
- ¿Es su cumpleaños?
- Sí -respondió la cabrita, ahogando otro bostezo-. Si mis cuentas no van mal, son 22 años los que van ya...
Resoplé levemente, era o por lo menos debía ser un día especial para él y encima se le instalaba medio Santuario allí. Zelha me contó quienes estarían allí; los Gemelos junto Aleisha, Mu y el revoltoso de Kiki, Shion, Milo, Shura, Ninah y nosotras dos.
- …Además del pato, lástima que no venga el otro alumno, Isaac. Lo curioso es que Atenea también fue invitada pero no ha querido ir, solo vi que salió muy de mañana junto a Shun y Seiya.
Gruñí levemente al llegar a las puertas de Acuario, no tenía ningunas ganas de toparme con Hyoga pero pues, siendo _su_ cumpleaños...
- ¿Alexiel? -una voz tras de mí me hizo desistir de entrar en Acuario, parpadeé varias veces sin entender o tal vez sin querer comprender. Me tallé los ojos y sonreí para correr escaleras abajo ante la atenta mirada de Zelha y de Camus, quien en ese instante salía a darnos la bienvenida, o tal vez a regañarnos por llegar tarde.
- ¡¡Hagen!!
Me abracé a mi hermano fuertemente, hacía casi ocho meses que no le veía. Sentí de nuevo aquel olor tan peculiar de Hagen, era olor a nieve recién caída y a azufre del volcán. Sonreí al mirar aquellos ojos tan iguales a los míos, acaricié el cabello dorado de mi hermano sin dejar de admirarle. Sí, le había echado mucho de menos.
- Ya veo que mi pequeña me echó de menos...
- Hermano -sentí a Zelha acercarse y mirarnos sin creérselo, aún siendo Hagen el mayor, el parecido entre los dos es asombroso. El color de piel, de ojos, de cabello-. Zelha te presento a mi hermano, Hagen de Merak Guerrero Divino de Beta...
- Encantado, señorita -dijo mi hermano que seguía siendo tan caballeroso como siempre, besando la mano de Zelha.
- Yo soy Zelha, Discípula de Shura de Capricornio.
En ese instante sentí algunos Cosmos más, sobre todo uno que conocía demasiado bien; miré a Hagen que sonreía igual que yo:
- Están subiendo los templos, junto a Athena -me volví mirando a Zelha y esta asintió a mi silencioso pedido quedándose con mi hermano mientras me eché a correr escaleras abajo. Había sentido salir a los demás del templo de Acuario pero nada me importaba más que ver a aquella persona que portaba aquel hermoso Cosmos.
Creo que había aprendido bien a correr por aquellos escalones, vi a algunas Amazonas que distinguí por sus movimientos entrenando ya junto a las Amazonas de plata; Dione quien se movía como un felino enfrentándose en un combate cuerpo a cuerpo con Marin, Ame quien andaba dando vueltas al pequeño Coliseo como loca seguramente producto de alguna de sus bromas... Cuando me di cuenta la vi subiendo el Templo de mi tutoría, el Templo del Escorpión Celeste. Hinqué una rodilla en el suelo y agaché la cabeza respirando algo agitada por la carrera. Allí llegó mi Señora junto a mis demás compañeros y junto a Jinx quien se paró a mi lado, olisqueándome y meneando la cola.
- Mi Señora Hilda de Polaris, Sacerdotisa del Padre Odín, yo Alexiel de Merak, Discípula del Escorpión Milo, os doy la bienvenida al Templo del Escorpión Celeste y a las cálidas tierras griegas.
En ese momento sentí su mano sobre mis cabellos y la miré sonriente.
- Gracias, Alexiel -sonrió la Sacerdotisa de vuelta-. Veo que nos echaste de menos.
No esperé menos cuando sentí a Phenrill y a Syd echarse sobre mí junto a Jinx despeinándome y haciéndome cosquillas. Ambos me dieron sendos besos en las mejillas mientras Tholl sonreía besando mi mano, Bud tras de ellos me guiño un ojo. Alberich casi ni se movió y Mime me saludó con un leve movimiento de cabeza. Cuando aquellos locos me dejaron moverme me acerqué a Siegfried mirándole a los ojos, mi Capitán tampoco iba a faltar a aquello... gracias a Odín.
- Siegfried... Capitán...
- Ven aquí, Alex -le sentí abrazarme protectoramente, y solo pude coincidirle a aquel abrazo mientras sentía tras de mi la llegada de los que andaban en Acuario entre ellos, Camus de Acuario.
Después de aquel abrazo subimos las escaleras que nos separaban hasta el Templo de la Diosa. Los Caballeros se quedaron en la Casa de Acuario por pedido de Athena, quien solo pidió hablar con los invitados y conmigo, aun así Milo no andaba muy conforme menos viendo la forma en la que Siegfried me abrazaba, tan protectora.
-Pero Milady -Saori volvía a suspirar en las escaleras que iban desde Acuario a Piscis-, ella es mi alumna, por lo tanto yo...
- No Milo, nadie más va a ir...
- Athena…
- Milo, no voy a hablar con ella como tu discípula -dijo Ella, mientras se volvía hacia Hilda, mi princesa sonreía al ver lo cabezota que podía ser Milo, y aún más conociéndome a mí.
Athena, Hilda, Flare y mis compañeros siguieron subiendo las escaleras, me volví a Milo desatándome del abrazo de Siegfried, quien se extrañó, y le abracé. Era la primera vez que lo hacia, mi propio Maestro se sorprendió y me sonrió, éramos un par de tontos no había razón para ese abrazo... pero se hizo.
- Confía en mí, bicho -susurré guiñándole un ojo y volviéndome para perseguir a Siegfried y a Hagen que me esperaban algo más arriba con una sonrisa cómplice.
En ese camino me di cuenta de algo, he cambiado. He cambiado tanto que si ellos no hubieran venido ahora ninguno me conocería a la vuelta, había cambiado muchas partes de mí. Yo era alguien que sólo podía querer a una persona, a Hagen. Mi hermano era lo único lo único que tenía en la vida. Cuando murió, me sentí perdida, sin rumbo... ¿Qué hubiera pasado si me quedaba en Asgard¿Y si mi hermano y la princesa Flaren dándose cuenta se hubieran unido? (Que ya es tiempo de eso, jeje...). Seguramente sí me sentiría sola, pero ahora tengo algo más.
Me he dado cuenta de ello, tengo a mis hermanos Asgardianos, tengo a las Princesas... pero tengo un grupo de amigos que jamás me dejaran. Están las chicas; Aleisha, Zelha y Ninah, tal vez tuve un mal comienzo con Ninah, pero este tiempo que hemos pasado juntas nos ha enseñado mucho sobre todo que tenemos muchas cosas en común; Aleisha es la mayor de las cuatro pero es sin duda la peor y Zelha, no tengo comentarios para explicar lo que esta cabrita loca puede hacer en mí.
Además está Milo, mi Maestro bicho y Mu, siempre calmado y paciente; Kiki y sus travesuras; Shura y mis charlas de Mitología Nórdica con él; los Gemelos, sobre todo Kanon, son muy agradables conmigo. Ése era mi círculo más cercano, pero también están las chicas Amazonas (sobre todo las pequeñas Dione y Ame), la Maestra Marin, June y los Caballeros de Bronce. Sorprendentemente, aún no he matado al Cisne... aún, sonrío, al recordar mi primer encontronazo con Hyoga también recuerdo al frío Camus.
El Maestro de Acuario, con ese cuerpo tan excelentemente bien cincelado, sus cejas partidas, sus ojos índigos cargados de una sensualidad innata, sus labios que nunca sonríen, sus movimientos perfectamente calmos...
Llego al templo de Piscis suspirando, Mime se ha quedado en la puerta y me mira, alguien no le deja pasar, puesto que solo abrió paso a Athena pero al quedarse detrás para esperarme...
- ¿Que ocurre?
- Creo que no pasamos, Alex -miré a Mime sin entender y nos adentramos un poco en Piscis, hasta que escuchamos una voz femenina.
- Alto, extranjeros, no podéis pisar el Templo de Piscis.
Me quedo de piedra, desde que estoy aquí este Templo ha estado vacío, y ahora esto... no lo entiendo.
- Mi nombre es Alexiel de Merak -digo ante la figura que escondida entre las sombras está frente a nosotros-, soy la Discípula de Milo de Escorpio, Caballero de la Octava Casa. Mi acompañante es Mime de Benetnash, Guerrero Divino de Eta, uno de los Guerreros de la Princesa Hilda de Polaris la cual ha sido invitada por la Diosa Athena al Santuario -terminé de una vez observando a la joven que ahora está frente a mí.
- Lo siento, señorita Merak, soy Alexa, Discípula de Afrodita de Piscis. No sabia que el Caballero también era invitado de la Diosa. Si lo permitís, me gustaría acompañaros al templo de Athena.
Dicho y hecho, la morena Amazona nos acompañó escaleras arriba hacia el Templo de la Diosa Athena, la cual quería hablar con todos nosotros junto a Hilda y la Princesa Flare. Me volví a la Amazona y la miré nuevamente.
-No sabía que Piscis ya estuviera cubierto…
-Acabo de regresar -respondió, en un susurro cortante.
Ya tenia ganas de llegar donde Athena.
Habíamos llegado a la entrada del Templo del Patriarca, donde la Amazona de Piscis nos había dejado, tal y como había dicho no podía meterse en una reunión cuando no le tocaba.
- ¿Nos veremos?
- Claro, mientras que no haya que vigilar los Templos... además, seguro que nos vemos en Acuario -Alexa empezó a bajar las escaleras marchando de vuelta a Piscis pero hubo algo que me dejó inquieta. ¿Que tendría que ver Alexa con Camus?
- Vamos Alex -asentí mirando a Mime entrando dentro del enorme salón donde sólo había estado la vez que llegue.
En la cabecera, Hilda y Athena hablaban en voz baja mientras Flare las secundaba y frente a ellas mi familia nórdica esperaba con ansias mi llegada con Mime. Hagen se me acercó para volver a abrazarme.
- Andas cariñoso hoy¿eh, hermano? -los demás rieron viendo la cara de Hagen.
- Desde que te fuiste anda tan raro que creo que era normal que ahora estuviera así -concretó Syd.
- Ah, chicos... os he echado tanto de menos -sonreí, si, aunque la vida en el Santuario me estaba gustando y aunque tenía a las chicas, a mi Maestro y los demás, nadie opacaba a mi familia Asgardiana.
- Nosotros también te echamos de menos, pequeñita -la voz gruesa y los fuertes brazos de Tholl me arrullaron (y casi ahogo ese abrazo), elevándome ante las risas de todos, hasta de Hilda quien se echó a reír levemente.
- Chicos... después de que hablemos podréis hacer las fiestas que queráis a Alexiel pero, Athena y yo necesitamos contaros la duda que todos tenéis desde hace meses.
Tholl me bajó y todos comenzamos a ocupar nuestros sitios, en estricto orden; como siempre el Capitán primero, detrás Syd como segundo al mando y mi hermano Hagen. Los demás se fueron colocando por sus rangos y al final, Bud y yo, al no tener zafiros protectores; mire a la sombra de Syd y le sonreí, mientras él me devolvía escasamente esa sonrisa.
-Tanto vosotros, Dioses Guerreros, como mis propios Caballeros, aun os encontráis desubicados por vuestra repentina vuelta a la vida. Y yo os comprendo, por ello Hilda y yo debemos explicaros.
La Diosa Athena nos contó como tras de la guerra contra Asgard ella y sus caballeros de bronce habían peleado contra dos poderosos Dioses griegos, como eran Poseidón y Hades, hermanos de su padre Zeus. En la batalla contra Hades, habían muerto todos los Caballeros Dorados que aún quedaban en el Santuario, además se habían reencontrado los antiguos Caballeros de Cáncer, Piscis, Géminis, Capricornio y Acuario vistiendo armaduras sapuris junto al Patriarca Shion de Aries lo que les hacia ver a la cara de todos como unos traidores a Athena y al Santuario siendo completamente otra la razón.
La propia Athena había dado su parte mortal, la que la hacía Saori, para llegar ante Hades, y Seiya el Pegaso había sido atravesado por la espada de Hades. Pero aún así habían vivido para volver a luchar de nuevo. Habían sido sus hermanos Artemisa y Apolo quienes habían bajado al mundo junto a los tres Ángeles de Artemisa para eliminar a Seiya y dejar el Santuario a manos de los Dioses.
Hilda tomó la voz tras de eso, contando a los chicos, pues yo ya lo había vivido, como tras la muerte de ellos Flare, la propia Hilda y yo habíamos sepultado sus cuerpos y habíamos pasado días horribles. Aún así yo había seguido entrenando para seguir con la promesa que mi hermano había hecho a las Princesas, las cuidaría aún dando mi vida por ellas.
- Pero ambos Santuarios habían tenido tantas bajas, que cuando los Caballeros de Bronce aquí y Alexiel y las Valquirias en Asgard hiciesen todo lo posible, los Santuarios estaban en bajas horas y cualquier otro ataque los destruiría, trayendo el caos al mundo -secundó Flare.
- Además de que todos habían muerto a unas edades tan tempranas, que no os había dado tiempo de vivir vuestras vidas -sonrió dulcemente la princesa Hilda, nosotros aún no comprendíamos nada, pero ella siguió contando-. Fue cuando yo mandé a Alexiel al Folkvangar a entrenar con la Orden Valquiria de la Diosa Frejya. Saori y yo tuvimos un encuentro en Oslo, hacia varios años que no nos habíamos visto y ambas comentamos todo lo que habíamos pasado. Ella me contó que por suerte había podido salvar a Seiya y tenia a los Caballeros de Bronce a su lado, aunque se sentía culpable por la muerte de los Caballeros Dorados.
- Hilda -prosiguió la Diosa de la Sabiduría- me contó que se sentía vacía y también culpable por no poder teneros a vosotros junto a ella, que vuestras muertes habían sido por su culpa. Aun así tenía a Alexiel y a las demás valquirias; y yo podía sentirme orgullosa pero a la vez desubicada cuando recordé que algunos Caballeros habían entrenado Amazonas, y uno de ellos había dejado familia. No sabíamos que hacer hasta que Flare nos dio lo que seria nuestro punto de partida.
Todas nuestras miradas se volvieron a la Princesa Flare, quien sonrió dulce como siempre para acercarse a nosotros y proseguir aquello.
- Yo les propuse algo, ellas y yo entregaríamos cosas importantes para nosotras, para poder devolveros la vida. Y así lo hicimos, Athena entregó su alma mortal para devolver la vida a sus Caballeros caídos en batalla, mientras que Hilda y yo entregamos lo más importante de Asgard, el Tesoro de los Nibelungos… aún cuando Odín estuviera en contra de ello.
Las exclamaciones no se hicieron esperar, si aquel tesoro caía en manos de Loki, el Ragnarok podría volver antes de lo que esperábamos. Aun así, Hilda se levantó junto a Athena para acercarse a todos nosotros.
- Pero estamos orgullosas del resultado puesto que vosotros podéis estar aquí y disfrutar de lo que nosotras no os permitimos.
- Aun así -susurró Siegfried, mirando a las que ahora para nosotros eran dos divinidades-. Nosotros os protegeremos, como juramos.
--
En la tarde había visto entrar a los Caballeros Dorados junto a las muchachas. Pero Aleisha se había quedado conmigo en las afueras, esperando.
- Estás muy callada, Ale¿qué ocurre?- me atreví a preguntarle.
- Athena les está contando lo que ella e Hilda hicieron¿cierto?
Enarqué una ceja y creo que hasta trastabillé un par de pasos¿que cosa sabia esta mujer que ninguno de nosotros lográsemos siquiera intuir?
- Me lo imaginé, yo sé todo aquello -susurró mirando las cálidas tierras griegas a nuestros pies-. Zeus me mandó a ver si el pacto entre ellas estaba correcto. Odín no necesita saber si va bien, puesto que confía ciegamente en Hilda pero, mi jefe no es igual, de hecho, siento una presencia conocida y cerca de aquí.
La miré expectante, no quería levantar más comentarios con aquello hecho por Hilda y Athena, pero cada vez mas dudas venían a mi cabeza que seguramente poco a poco irían teniendo respuesta, pero la primera y principal no creo que me fuera contestada. ¿Por qué había tantas mujeres en el Santuario Griego?
- Lord Zeus Cronida confía en ellas más que en los hombres -escuché una voz desconocida que parecía encontrarse en el interior de mi mente, pero me sobresalté al darme cuenta que no eran mis pensamientos. Aleisha alzó una ceja levemente mirando unas ruinas frente al Templo del Patriarca que era de donde salía esa voz.
- Sal de ahí, angelito sin alas que ya nos conocemos.
Como si fuera la orden del propio Zeus, un joven de cabellos rojos salió de allí con paso firme y calmado, sus ojos azules medio ocultos por una mascara me miraron fijamente para después fijarse en Aleisha.
- Touma de Ikarus¿qué te trae por acá?
¿Un Ángel?
Le miré de hito en hito y recordé la charla mantenida esa misma mañana con Athena e Hilda y recordé a "los Ángeles de Artemisa" seguramente aquel pelirrojo que me miraba tan fijamente como yo lo miraba a él era uno de ellos. Aleisha carraspeó levemente al darse cuenta y me guiño un ojo.
- Alex, éste es Touma de Ikarus, uno de los Ángeles de Artemisa además de ser hermano de Marin -creo que la sorpresa se hizo latente en mi rostro y que actuaba como un espejo, puesto las facciones de aquel Ángel hicieron lo mismo poco después-. Touma, ella es Alexiel de Merak, de la Orden de los Guerreros Divinos de Asgard, Hijos de Odín -terminó mi amiga con un suspiro. Me adelanté y le tendí mi mano, al ahora boquiabierto joven Ángel de Ikarus.
- Encantada de conocerle, Ángel de la Luz (1) -su mano se estrecho con la mía suavemente, produciéndome un cosquilleo en todo el cuerpo bastante placentero.
- Igualmente, encantado, Lady Alexiel…
Aleisha carraspeó con una sonrisita malévola en sus labios, noté como el color subió a mis mejillas. ¡¡Odiaba que hiciera eso!! Puesto que al ser nosotras dos (y ahora también Alexa) las que no llevábamos mascaras en el Santuario se nos notaba enseguida cualquier cosa. Me volví para decirle las mil y una cuando me encontré con los índigos ojos de Camus quien sin pararse miró a Touma y luego a Aleisha, para volver a mirarme profundamente a los ojos y seguir su camino. Tras de eso sentí a los demás Caballeros ir saliendo y recordé su cumpleaños, pero con todo lo que había pasado lo había olvidado y siquiera le había felicitado. En ese entonces, sentí un dolor hondo en mi corazón.
- Perdonadme, tengo una metida de pata que arreglar -dicho y hecho, salí corriendo de allí ante las extrañadas miradas de Aleisha y del Ángel de Ikarus con dirección al Templo de Acuario, al que llegue rápidamente.
Al entrar al Templo de planta redonda me sorprendí gratamente, no había desorden como el de Escorpio, donde me las veía negras para que aquel bichejo superdesarrollado siquiera guardara una sola cosa en su sitio. O el Templo de Aries, que además de ser taller, era medio desordenado por culpa de Kiki; era una sencillez suprema pero aún así no dejaba de estar cargada de un aire gélido y casi místico.
Las columnas de aire jónico parecían hechas en hielo eterno, pero al verlas de cerca te das cuenta de que no es así, que una gruesa capa de hielo las guarda pues las volutas del capitel (2) seguían viéndose de piedra. Estaba tan ensimismada con los clásicos detalles del Templo, aun cuando lo había visto mil veces, que no le distinguí entre la oscuridad, observándome con sus ojos índigos enarcando una de sus partidas cejas. Me volví al sentirme observada quedando justo delante de él, parpadeé y le miré muy fijamente.
- ¿Qué buscáis aquí, Alexiel?
- Vine porque no pude felicitaros Camus, el día ha sido algo agitado...
- No pasa nada, no es tampoco un día importante.
Creo que mi mirada fue casi casi fulminante pues hasta pude ver una pequeña risa en los labios del Maestro de los Hielos... o quise verla.
- Sí lo es, no todos los días es el cumpleaños de uno de los Caballeros de la Orden de Athena…
- Casi -susurró en tono cómplice-, somos 88 caballeros.
- Además de los que andamos de arrimados - termine riéndome por mi propia posición allí-. En fin… quería daros algo.
El Maestro de Acuario me miró como si estuviera mirando algo raro, me desenganché el colgante que siempre llevaba conmigo y se lo tendí. Era lo único que tenía de valor, por lo que creía que podría ser un buen regalo. Me coloqué tras de él y le coloqué el colgante, mi colgante.
- Pero no creo que…
- Es lo más preciado que tengo aquí, o por lo menos era, ahora tengo a las chicas, a mi Maestro, a Kiki, a Mu… -dejé caer el caballo plateado en el pecho metálico de la armadura y le sonreí.
Pero mi sonrisa desapareció cuando se quitó el colgante y me lo devolvió, mejor dicho casi me lo tiró a la cara. Enarqué una ceja desafiante y sin esperar más palabras, salí de allí. Jamás hubiera esperado eso de nadie y menos de un Caballero, pero muchísimo menos, de alguien tan aparentemente educado como él. Esto no quedaría así como así.
- Oye rubia¿no crees que es muy tarde para correr así por los Templos? -me volví encontrándome con la hermana de Acuario, Ninah. Suspiré levemente e intenté sonreír, pero mis labios parecían no querer hacerle caso a mi cerebro-. ¿De dónde vienes?
- De ver a tu hermano -susurré, a lo que Ninah sonrió maliciosa, aunque creo que se dio cuenta de que no iba los tiros por lo que ella pensaba. Tragué duro y me despedí con la mano intentando irme cuando una voz tras de mi me paro.
- Me dijiste que me enseñarías el Santuario -me volví para sonreír esta vez abiertamente, Ninah parecía confundida aunque su máscara seguía tan seria como siempre-. Encantado señorita, Hagen de Merak a su servicio.
Ninah se dio la vuelta sin contestar el saludo y salió, escaleras arriba. Suspiré, a veces, muchas veces se parecía a su hermano. Agarre al mío del brazo y tire de él.
- Vamos rubio, te enseñare mi lugar preferido, la Fuente de Athena.
Tal vez mi hermano era algo brusco, a veces belicoso al límite pero era mi única unión con el mundo. En verdad era la unión mas grande, había sido además de mi hermano, mi padre y mi mentor, era la persona a la que más le debía en el mundo, al que más quería. Apreté un poco más su brazo restregando mi cara en él, como hacía de pequeña aparentando ser un gato; Hagen sonrió y ahí mi mundo había sido llenado con algo de luz, aquel día había sido muy duro pero la llegada y la estancia allí de mi familia se veía recompensada.
-Estás muy callada... te pasó algo¿verdad? - Y sí, a veces he de decir que aquel, para muchos, impertinente rubio, me conocía demasiado bien. Tiré un poco más de él sin contarle nada cuando llegamos a los pies de la Fuente. Me descalce sentándome en aquellas piedras, metiendo dentro mis pies. A mi hermano pareció divertirle aquello e hizo lo mismo, sofocando un poco el calor griego, un calor demasiado seco al que no estábamos muy acostumbrados.
- Imagina hermano, que le regalaras algo muy preciado para ti a Lady Flare, algo como esto -dije señalándole mi colgante-, y ella te lo echara atrás sin siquiera decirte nada… ¿qué pensarías?
- Pues que no le gusta, o que prefiere que yo guarde aun mis recuerdos. Aunque me sentaría algo mal, he de decir.
- ¿Tanto como para cobrárselo?
- Tanto así, aunque sabes que no le haría nada a Milady... pero creo que tu…
Sonreí maliciosa, haría algo y sabía bien que Zelha o Aleisha seguirían mi juego en cuanto les comentara.
- Ya sabes hermano, los Merak somos duales como el fuego y el hielo que manejamos… -Hagen sonrió, abrazándome para después salpicarme del agua de la Fuente. Le haría pagar el desprecio al Acuariano, pero por ahora, disfrutaría con mi hermano.
5. Fighters
_**Disclaimer: No, ningún caballero es mio ni la serie ni nada... Bueno la historia si, y el personaje de Alexiel de Merak es completamente mio todito lo demás es de Zelha, Argesh Marek y el mundillo de Kurumada.**_**
**
**Capítulo V: Fighters**
Los días pasaron como la pólvora y entre esos días las noticias igual. Zelha y Chloe habían sido pilladas en su pequeña broma a Saga, la propia Aleisha se sentía culpable puesto que ella le había ayudado y Kanon lo sabía demasiado bien. Aún así mi plan de hacer pagar a Camus estaba en mente, demasiado en mente y más ahora que mis amigas estaban apresadas en las casas de Géminis y Cáncer, donde seguramente no lo pasarían tan bien. El bicho (Milo) me pidió varias veces que no hiciera ninguna locura como aquella, menos ahora que Ninah había decidido volver a su retiro y entrenamiento en Siberia, y encima sola.
Pero olvidar eso es duro para una Asgardiana con la cabeza tan dura como yo, por eso Aleisha y yo programamos aquella noche para nuestro golpe. Alexa nos dijo mil y una veces que actuábamos como crías, que si Camus se enteraba.
- Si Camus se entera, la culpa solo recaerá sobre mí. Yo soy quien piensa vengarse.
- Pero Aleisha…
- Le he prometido que sólo vigilaría y eso haré porque sé que a ella le importa más mi palabra, si decepciono a Blancanieves sería lo mismo que dejar de ser amigas.
Más que eso, Aleisha era más que eso. En el casi año que llevaba allí, la General de Zeus era más que mi amiga o cómplice, era casi mi hermana. Con el hecho de que sólo con mirarnos a los ojos sabíamos lo que la otra quería o necesitaba; mi unión no sólo con ella, sino con Zelha, era algo más. La unión con todas era más que una amistad, éramos una hermandad y Zelha y Aleisha eran mis motivos primordiales a seguir; ellas habían sido mis primeras amigas aquí dentro.
Por eso confiaba en su palabra y en que ella, haría sólo eso. Si me pillaban ya me las arreglaría yo con el pedazo de hielo, o en su defecto pondría pies en polvorosa tras tratar de dejarle KO.
Así tal como nos reunimos, dejamos a la Guardiana de Piscis en la Fuente de Athena y con paso calmado comenzamos a subir Casa por Casa, no podíamos levantar sospecha alguna. Siquiera Kanon, al pasar por Géminis, se dio cuenta de nada; aunque si he de ser sincera yo si me di cuenta de los ojitos lascivos con los que miró a Aleisha. Reí maliciosa picando a mi amiga en la subida y ella rió por lo mismo; pasamos por los demás Templos con tranquilidad sin siquiera notar los Cosmos de las chicas. Milo me esperaba con los brazos cruzados sobre el pecho y una mirada retadora, paramos ambas ante él y enarcó una ceja mirándome.
- ¿A dónde crees que vas, Blancanieves?
- Bicho... –Aleisha nos miraba sin dejar de reír-. Voy a ver a Alexa…
- Sabes que ella aún no ha llegado a su templo, las he visto en la fuente de Atenea –¡¡Mierda!! Este Maestro mío cada vez más perspicaz, debería de habérsele quitado de andar tanto con el pedazo de hielo.
- Milo, vamos a darle una sorpresita anda... no seas malo¿sí? -si quería tener una defensa contra Milo eran esas miradas que le echaba Aleisha, noté a mi Maestro temblar levemente y sonreí; pensé que aquello solo servía con Kanon.
- Sólo tened cuidado y Alexiel… no te metas en nada, por favor.
Seguimos caminando, Milo parecía menos cálido y dicharachero; sin duda alguna la marcha de Ninah no le había hecho bien. Por suerte o por desgracia, no tuve mucho tiempo más de pensar ya que rápidamente llegamos al Templo de Acuario; Aleisha me miró una última vez y asentí, sabía que ella no haría más que lo que yo le había pedido y si notaba algo que iba mal, se marcharía; así fue el pacto.
Tomé una bolsa que habíamos escondido en los alrededores y entré dejando mi Cosmos a cero, el Templo de Acuario estaba en una absoluta calma y silencio, tan oscuro que no veías lo que tenías delante de la nariz, así que avancé más lentamente de lo normal. Aunque por suerte conocía aquel pasillo demasiado bien puesto que Ninah, muchos días antes, me había enseñado aquella colección que Camus guardaba celosamente. Y aquel sería mi carta de regalo a aquel pedazo de hielo sin sentimientos, abrí lentamente la puerta que separaba la pequeña estancia del pasillo y entré. Allí estaban sus figuras, algo tal vez extravagante o estrambótico para un Caballero de los Hielos pero yo sabía que él adoraba aquellas figuras de cristal. Una de ellas llamó mi atención, era un cristal con destellos violáceos y era la figura de un ángel, sonreí levemente al tomarla y rápidamente lo noté. Este no era cristal normal, era un cristal MUY caro, creo que Ninah lo llamó Murano o algo así, Cristal de Murano.
No podía perder más tiempo, saqué de la primera bolsa otra donde metí aquellas figuras con cuidado, iba a hacerle una broma y así me la cobraría pero no podía romper aquello. De dentro de la primera bolsa saqué unas "figuras" que la propia Aleisha me había dado, según me había contado era "arte abstracto" o mejor dicho, lo que quedaba de algún que otro jarrón después de habérselo tirado a Kanon. Reí levemente al recuerdo y comencé a colocar aquel arte en el sitio donde las ausentes figuras se encontraban, hasta que algo llamó mi atención…
¿Cuándo había encendido la luz?
- Vaya¿desde cuándo os gustan mis figuras, Lady Alexiel? -bien podía encontrarme con el mismo Loki en presencia que no me daría más miedo que esa voz fría y de ultratumba.
- Desde que sé que son figuras caras –respondí tranquilamente-. Pensé que con el dinero que saque de ellas, podría pagarme un billete a Asgard –se me olvidó añadir, "para estar lejos de ti, pedazo de hielo".
- Creo que esto vais a comentárselo al Patriarca… -me volví al Acuariano y le miré fijamente, solo esperaba en mi interior que Aleisha se hubiera marchado y sobre todo, que esto no llegara a los oídos de Lady Hilda.
- ¿Podríamos llegar a un pacto? –pregunté mientras me echaba atrás lentamente evitando el contacto con Camus, tenía que salir de allí como fuera…
Intenté esquivarle puesto que su cuerpo tapaba la salida pero me agarró fuertemente, no contó con mis pataleos y los golpes a los que fue expuesto y que solo llegaron hasta la puerta principal del Templo. Ahí una tenue voz hizo parar al Caballero de los Hielos y dejarme caer al suelo en un seco golpe, levanté mi mirada a él con ganas de matarle para después desviarla a unos cabellos rojizos y unos ojos claros, el ángel de Ikarus.
- Touma¿qué desea en mi Templo? -el joven me miró levemente y volvió la mirada a la fría mirada del Caballero de Hielo.
- Perdonad que llegue así a vuestro Templo, Camus-san, venía buscando a una Valquiria que se me había perdido -añadió mirándome de reojo a lo que me sonrojé rápidamente.
- ¿Vos estáis con ella en esta burla?
- No, no estoy en ninguna burla contra vos -me levanté y fulminé al ángel con mi mirada, podía decir que venía a… ¡cualquier cosa, Dioses!-. Sólo que la Valquiria y yo estábamos entrenando y parece que ella entendió mal…
- Hm… -respondió Camus. Sí, a veces puede ser un excelente compañero de charlas-. Pues siento decirle, que tengo que hablar con el Patriarca y con su Maestro, Milo de Escorpio de esto.
- Hagamos algo -volvió a interceder Ikarus por mí-, dejemos esto entre nosotros tres, póngale un castigo… además también es culpa mía.
No se porque me había ayudado, ahora Camus miraba a uno y después al otro pensando, y yo no sabía que era peor… de veras que no lo sabía. Tragué duro varias veces, hasta que algo iluminó mis pensamientos, seguro Aleisha le había dicho algo al Ikarus para que me ayudara así que lo mejor que hacía era hacerle caso a aquel pelirrojo. En ese momento Camus carraspeó haciéndome caer de mi nube y trayéndome de nuevo a la tierra.
- De acuerdo, en dos meses hay unas pruebas para las Amazonas y demás aprendices femeninas, entrenará conmigo diariamente viviendo aquí… hasta el día del examen y si lo pasa, no le contaré nada al Patriarca.
- Hecho -respondió el ángel de Ikarus-. Mañana comenzáis, creo que Alexiel debe ir a contárselo a Milo…
- ¡¡Hey¿Qué os pasa que a mi no me preguntáis o qué? -sí, me había cansado de escuchar como aquellos dos decidían… a la mierda el autocontrol.
- Más os vale, Milady -dijo el Acuariano dándose vuelta e internándose en el Templo-, que lo hagáis.
¡¡Maldito pedazo de hielo arrogante¡¡Argh!! Dos veces, dos veces me había ganado este pedazo de… Me mordí los labios caminando al lado del pelirrojo, no se que demonios había ganado con su ayuda. Ahora para más INRI y más disgusto tenía que entrenar con ese todos los días y más aún, salir de Escorpio… Milo iba a enfadarse y mucho cuando se enterase, ni pensar en Mu que seguramente me miraría de la misma manera en que miró a Zelha. Me paré haciendo a su vez pararse a Touma y le miré interrogativa.
- Estamos afuera del Templo y ese pedazo de témpano no está presente¿me contaréis porque me _ayudasteis_, ángel de Ikarus? –dije, poniendo retintín en el 'ayudasteis'.
- Dadle las gracias a la General –dijo mirándome tras aquella máscara suya, máscara que sinceramente no comprendía porqué llevaba. Aún así me quedé mirando sus ojos fijamente, tanto que ni cuenta me di… ¡¡Demonios!! A veces odiaba ser una mujer… Carraspeé levemente y proseguí con mi mejor cara de fastidio.
- ¿Solamente por eso me ayudasteis, Touma de Ikarus?
- Por eso y porque me gustaría demostrar algo a los Caballeros Atenienses –le miré de hito en hito sin comprender-. La primera vez que pelee con ellos descubrí el poder que les mueve y les hace fuertes…
- …El amor –susurré levemente, nos miramos y le sonreí levemente-. En Asgard pasó lo mismo, el amor a Atenea les levantó una y otra vez, aún pasando sobre los sentimientos de los demás…
- Exacto, el sentimiento de los demás, me gustaría demostrarles que no sólo su amor a Atenea. Cuando ellos pelearon contra sus oponentes, estos terminan siendo derrotados al terminar de sentir como su razón para luchar desaparece, siendo pisados sus sentimientos. Y sé que en eso podéis comprenderme Lady Alexiel, ese mismo Caballero…
- …Pisoteó mis sentimientos, sí, Lord Touma… pero decidme; somos hielo contra hielo, si hubiera aprendido a despertar el Cosmos de fuego de los Merak –suspiré, meditabunda.
- Yo os ayudaré a despertarlo, pero Acuario no debe de saberlo. Aprovechad el entrenamiento con él para fortalecer vuestro Cosmos, para afianzar las técnicas de hielo y tras de eso cada noche, os llevaré a que entrenéis conmigo el Cosmos de fuego que saldrá de vos.
Sonreí levemente, tal vez no era aquello tan malo como lo había parecido en un comienzo, en verdad lo único malo sería decirle a Milo y ver su cara antes de marcharme… Pero lo haré; y no sólo por mi, también por Zelha y Chloe, por Touma y sobre todo por mi hermano; tras la charla con el Ikarus volví a recordar la muerte de Hagen en mis ojos una y otra vez aquella técnica que tan bien manejaba el Acuariano había sido la gota que colmó el vaso… esa había sido la primera muerte de un Merak.
Por eso los demás días pasaron corriendo, mis entrenamientos matutinos en la casa de Acuario parecían más un ejercicio militar que un entrenamiento normal y corriente. Por suerte, aquel pedazo de ser sin vida propia que era Camus me dejaba ver a Milo cuando quisiera para seguir entrenando con él la fuerza física, y aunque no pudiera ver a Mu sabía que él desde Aries sentía mis ganas de volver a verle.
El control del Cosmos en el cero absoluto era algo difícil, pero no imposible para una Asgardiana, sobre todo para una con ganas de demostrar lo que valía como era mi caso. Si algo me enseñó Mu, fue a controlar mi Cosmos con mi mente; el solo pensamiento de eso podía hacer que mis ganas por seguir adelante fueran más grandes y más poderosas cada vez. Y no solo eso, sino las ganas de ver a Chloe y a la cabrita, las ganas de salir de aquel recinto de hielo…
Por suerte y aunque las mañanas eran frías, las noches destacaban por su calidez. Noche tras noche volvía al coliseo sin que Camus se diera cuenta, para poder entrenar con Touma; el pelirrojo Ángel de Artemisa era un maestro calmo y divertido, sabía como enseñarte a buscar en tu interior. Todas las noches intentaba descubrir el poder del volcán en mí, el poder de los Merak, como había dicho; es como si escuchara en sus labios al propio Alberich y a mi propio hermano a veces. Mi poder interior, mi Cosmos, mis ganas de luchar, las ganas de seguir… El pelirrojo japonés volvía a recordarme la nieve, pero no era como Camus; el Acuariano solo me recordaba lo fría que era la nieve pero él no, Touma me recordaba lo cálida que podía ser la nieve al contacto perpetuo.
- Recuerda que la nieve, la nieve pura que recorre los paisajes de tu tierra no son fríos… Dime Alexiel¿Qué ocurre cuando tomas un montón de nieve en tu mano?
- Primero siento frío –respondí aquella noche bajo los relajantes rayos de luna.
- Exacto –sonrió levemente el ángel-. ¿Y si llevas mucho tiempo con ella en tu mano?
- Te quema.
- Así debes de ser, fría pero cálida a la vez Alexiel… Que no sólo se sorprendan de la frialdad de tus ojos, sino de lo cálido de tu corazón…
Parpadeé levemente y asentí, lo cálido de mi corazón… aquello era lo que me hacía moverme, lo que me hacía confiar y querer ser más fuerte;
- Lo cálido de mi corazón…
- Nunca lo confundas con el poder, Alexiel –previno Touma-. No quieras ser un Dios, cuando puedas ser humano pues no hay fuerza más verdadera que la que destilan tus movimientos; guíate de tus movimientos –me tomó una mano y la colocó en mi pecho- de tus movimientos –volvió a repetirme.
Aquella noche fue una de las últimas en las que entrenamos juntos, el plazo estaba por terminar y me enfrentaría a Camus. Pero había algo que pensé que no tenía controlado, y era sobre mis sentimientos; me había dado cuenta poco atrás gracias a Milo de que sentía algo por Camus… ¿Sería capaz de atacarle¿De acallar el sentimiento de mi corazón simplemente por demostrarme a mí misma y demostrar a todos que yo podía ser capaz de todo? No lo sabía, de hecho aún no entendía en sí el sentimiento escondido en las palabras del Ikarus.
--
Días después sería el gran día, llevaba una semana completa sin ver a Touma y sin entrenar más con él. Sólo me dijo que sería capaz de levantar un muro de lava en un iceberg de hielo y me prometió que estaría en la batalla y vería como iba a ganar. Yo esperaba sinceramente eso, pero a veces y sobre todo en los entrenamientos con Camus, me veía imposible. Ahora comprendía porque le llamaban el Maestro del Hielo; hasta Milo me había prevenido que no sería capaz de hacer nada contra él.
Aquel día me desperté a las cinco de la mañana, tres horas después comenzarían las batallas y sinceramente, no tenía ganas ninguna de verle antes de aquello; a un lado de mi cama descubrí unas ropas que no eran para nada mis ropas normales. Enarqué una ceja y miré una nota que estaba sobre ella para después sonreír.
"_Espero que te guste, las vi y pensé rápidamente en lo estupendamente sexy que puede estar mi alumna preferida con esto. Mu me ayudó a comprarlo, jejeje… _
_Confía en tu fuerza, confía en ti misma… Ice Queen._
_Milo y Mu.-"_
Guardé la nota y me vestí con aquellas prendas, parecían hechas para el movimiento puesto que eran algo elásticas y no pesaban, ni siquiera daba calor alguno. Me recogí los cabellos y salí de aquel habitáculo que había sido mi habitación aquellos meses en Acuario, por suerte no tenía nada allí de valor que pudiera volver para recoger; ni quería siquiera pisar un momento más aquel sitio.
Caminaba lentamente hacia el exterior recogiéndome los cabellos en una coleta alta y colocando bien el colgante que brillaba levemente al descubrir algún que otro rayo de la luna que estaba marchándose, cuando le encontré al final del pasillo vestido aún con una túnica que le había visto utilizar en una que otra noche.
- ¿Dónde vais, Lady Alexiel?
- Vaya… -me mordí el labio inferior levemente-, pensé en ir calentando un poco… y en dar un largo paseo para poder meditar con tranquilidad…
- He pensado -comenzó él apoyándose en el marco de la puerta de su habitación-, que si perdéis podrías seguir entrenando aquí…
- No creo que vaya a perder, sensei -susurré, sé que le molestaba aquel titulo sobre todo cuando a Milo y Mu jamás los he llamado así-, y si perdiera, antes de volver aquí me volvería a Asgard, porque más de lo que vos me habéis enseñado ya sé. –bien, acabo de tocarle una fibra sensible… jejeje acaba de enarcar una ceja de las suyas-. Vos habéis conocido el hielo en vuestro entrenamiento, yo he nacido entre los fiordos helados de Oslo… Vuestros entrenamientos con el hielo son dignos para un niño recién nacido, pero para una Asgardiana es lo mismo que aprender a hacer cubitos de hielo para una fiesta… Y ahora perdonadme, pero mi tiempo es oro.
Ni siquiera le sentí moverse, ni intentar articular palabra; durante el tiempo que había pasado aquí dentro no habíamos cambiado muchas palabras, sólo las correctamente posibles para tener algo de convivencia como Maestro-alumna. No quería tener más roce con él, no quería ser una hipócrita con él y mucho menos conmigo… por mucho o poco que pudiera quererle.
Por suerte la brisa que se levantaba en Grecia cuando llegaba el amanecer servía para despejarte y para volver a seguir adelante, bajé trotando el camino de Acuario hacia la Fuente de Atenea ya que aquel rincón era el mejor para relajarse. Por suerte aún no había movimiento, parece que todo el mundo deseaba descansar para aquel día, todos descansaban menos yo.
El sonido de la Fuente parecía calmo y a la vez era ruidoso en la madrugada. Me saqué las sandalias y me sentí allí como siempre hacía, de cara a las ruinas que descansaban frente a las 12 magnificas Casas del Santuario; me gustaba aquella visión era completamente relajante y ver como la luna corría entre las ruinas era más relajante. Por primera vez entré totalmente dentro de la fuente, no sólo mis pies sino hasta mi cintura.
Sentí la frialdad del agua y la ropa empezando a pegarse a mi piel pero era algo que no me importaba, miré el fondo tan oscuro iluminado por algún que otro rayo de luna que parecía querer quedarse ahí mientras Apolo la empujaba con su carro trayendo tras de él al sol. Paseé rodeando aquella Fuente sumida en mis pensamientos cuando la sentí en el pasto, en el sitio que más adoraba; sentada a los pies de un olivo dejando su espalda apoyada en su tronco y mirando hacia las ruinas que yo admiraba.
Su cabello negro-azulado lo tenía recogido en un moño al más puro estilo griego, no llevaba su ropa normal de entrenamiento y sandalias, lo que me llamó la atención fue que llevaba glebas () y que sus ropas parecían las de un antiguo gladiador romano o un guerrero espartano. Una túnica inusualmente blanca y una coraza que a la vista resultaba algo pesada, en ella grabada un águila…
- Es mi ropa "de trabajo" –sonrió Aleisha mirándome–. A Zeus no le gusta mucho esas armaduras tan pesadas, dice que sus Generales sabremos movernos sin ellas.
- Pero esa coraza parece pesada –dije mientras me salía del agua, sentándome en el borde de la Fuente.
- Al igual que las armaduras, las corazas se adaptan al Cosmo de su portador haciéndolas firmes pero no pesadas.
Allí nos quedamos durante un rato más, creo que fue casi una hora más cuando ella se levantó y me azuzó para ir calentando. Según la altura del sol recién despierto pronto darían las siete de la mañana y lo mejor para las batallas era un ligero desayuno y un buen calentamiento. Asentí a sus palabras y corrimos hacia el comedor el cual, curiosamente estaba casi vacío a aquellas horas. Tal vez porque no tenía a las ruidosas de mis chicas cerca, o porque medio Santuario aún dormía cuando Aleisha y yo llegamos. Tomamos unas piezas de fruta y zumo para sentarnos en una mesa bien alejada de la principal donde los Caballeros Dorados ya comenzaban a entrar, y justamente el primero no podía ser otro. Siempre tan recto y firme en su comportamiento junto a su querido alumno, Aleisha se dio cuenta de mi repentino nerviosismo y uso su mano en mi hombro.
- Es ahora cuando tienes que dejar de ser una princesita…para ser la guerrera Alexiel; sé más fuerte que tu misma y que ellos.
Tomé el desayuno en silencio para después llevar el vaso a su lugar y darle las gracias a June, quien había servido el desayuno esa mañana; justo al momento de salir choqué con mi maestro Milo.
- Te sienta bien ¿eh? Verás cuando Mu te vea –reí levemente–. Nos veremos abajo… tengo algo que hacer.
- Voy a calentar con Aleisha… -me alcé y le di un beso en la mejilla echando a correr, mientras sentía tras de mi la mirada de aquel par de Acuarianos.
---
Ni una hora después el Coliseo, que había parecido enorme a mis ojos parecía una caja de cerillas. Por Odín que no había visto más reunión de personas que en aquel sitio; Aleisha tiró de mí para que alcanzásemos el lugar más cerca de la arena. Pero cuando me di cuenta no sólo era eso, había llegado a ver a Touma quien nos dedicó una sonrisa al vernos llegar.
- ¿Nerviosa? –me preguntó casi en un susurro el pelirrojo ángel de Artemisa.
- Algo, pero creo que lo que me tiene así es tantísima gente
- Para ellos esto es un juego -masculló Aleisha apretándose las muñequeras de cuero que llevaba-. Les gusta ver cómo pelean las mujeres, sobre todo cuando saben que están en problemas; a eso añádele que están en su tierra y somos extranjeras…
- Pero Zelha, Alexa y Chloe son fieles a Atenea…
- Yo no hablaba por ellas Alex –me espetó la General de Zeus con una sonrisa calmada-. Nosotros tres, somos ahora mismo el centro de atención de todos estos simplemente por servir a otros Dioses… Pero con orgullo sirvo a Zeus, porque de verdad, servir a Atenea es un fastidio…
- No deberías hablar mal de los Dioses, recuerda que tú eres griega y naciste en Atenas –dijo con una sonrisita maliciosa Touma.
- Óyeme, bermejo, tu eres japonés y ni de coña le rezas a Buda como el peliteñido de Virgo.
Tras de eso todas las miradas se volvieron a nosotros, no por lo dicho por Aleisha sino por las risas de los tres después de eso. Era la primera vez, después de aquellos meses con Camus, que me sentía en completa libertad.
- Mira que podéis llamar la atención¿eh? –al volver la mirada sonreí con ternura; Milo, Mu y Kiki se habían acercado hasta nosotros, el muchachito pelirrojo no tardó en abrazarme nos habíamos echado de menos el tiempo que no nos habíamos visto después de la broma.
- Suerte Alexiel, sabes que puedes hacerlo… controla tu genio –dijo Mu, sonriendo.
- ¿Alguna ayuda más? –pregunté mientras revolvía los cabellos de Kiki que me rebuscaba en los bolsillos en busca de algún dulce.
- Controla tu Cosmo, intenta proyectarlo a tus manos.
- Si necesitas un plan de última hora, dale una patada ahí donde la armadura no le cubre.
- Por Athena, Aleisha, sí que estás loca –rió Milo tras de nosotros. Vi como Mu se giraba en busca de algo, o de alguien que pronto encontró y fue a su encuentro–. Este Mu… desde que Zelha, Chloe y tú fueron pilladas en esas bromitas, está extraño.
Me volví para ver a mis dos amigas, tenía ganas de ir a darles mi apoyo a ellas para esta pelea pero la entrada de Shion y Saori junto a Dohko me descolocó. Kiki seguía abrazado a mí y Milo colocó sus manos en mis hombros sintiéndome temblar, por primera vez podía decir que sentía miedo. La voz fuerte de Shion dio comienzo a aquellas batallas:
- Adelante, Alexiel de Merak y Maestro Camus de Acuario.
El agarre de Milo se hizo más fuerte al igual que el abrazo del pequeño Kiki. Suspiré levemente y rompí con ternura el abrazo del pelirrojo dándole un dulce que no había logrado encontrar para después volverme a Milo, le sonreí para después tenderle el colgante que siempre me acompañaba;
- Si me lo pierdes Maestro, te cuelgo… -bajé la mirada y un poco la voz-. ¿Algún último consejo?
- Tú sabes lo que tienes que hacer, Alexiel, enséñales a todos lo que una escorpiona arrinconada es capaz de hacer.
Asentí y con el rabillo del ojo vi que Camus bajaba por las escaleras contrarias hacia la arena, miré hacia arriba viendo a las muchachas a las que sonreí para después encontrarme con los ojos verdes de Aleisha quien me sonrió con la mirada. Justo en la entrada a la arena, Touma me paró agarrándome del brazo;
- Deja de ser una princesa para ser la Reina… -susurró urgentemente-. La Reina del Hielo y del Fuego…
Bajé a la arena encontrándome frente a frente a Camus vistiendo su armadura dorada, miré hacia donde se encontraba Atenea a la que miré fijamente. Ella pareció comprender y asintió sin palabras, si pretendía intimidarme con su armadura iba por mal camino; exploté levemente mi Cosmo y una luz se abrió paso desde Escorpio colocándose a mi lado tan roja como la lava ardiente del volcán de los Merak; la estrella que guía a Asgard, Polaris. Se colocó en mi cuerpo y vi como Camus enarcaba una de sus cejas partidas:
- Sabéis que por mucha armadura que poseáis, Milady, no estamos en igualdad.
¿Qué demonios se pensaba? Si quería desestabilizarme no lo conseguiría el pedazo de… témpano con patas. Aún le faltaba para eso, no voy a caer en su juego y mucho menos voy a dejar por tierra el nombre de mi tierra; si hago eso me puedo considerar colgada por la orden de Valquirias. Si Lorien, Erin o Selene se enteraban de que había sido un completo estorbo en batalla podía considerarme exiliada de Asgard de por vida, bastantes veces me lo habían dicho ellas… Ellas y no sólo ellas, Zelha, Aleisha, Ninah… Hasta Chloe y Alexa me habían enseñado que una mujer podía ser más rápida, fuerte y astuta que un hombre.
Yo había sido siempre la que había quedado detrás de ellas, la única que no se decidía en una batalla, ahora les enseñaré que podré contra esto y sobre todo contra lo que podía sentir.
- Ciertamente que no estamos en igualdad -dije, dejando caer las piezas de Polaris a mis pies la cual volvió a unirse para disiparse hacia Escorpio donde había estado escondida desde que meses antes mi señora Hilda viniera a Grecia. Cuando volví a quedarme sin ella miré al Acuariano fijamente colocándome en una posición de ataque–. Ahora, ahora sí somos iguales…
Sin ni siquiera pensar me adelanté a atacarle golpeándole con puños y pies, reteniendo el Cosmo en ellos. Había algo que me paraba a desatarme, a enseñarle… ¿qué demonios se escondía en mi interior que no me dejaba enseñar lo que tenía dentro de mi? Sentí de repente el sabor de la sangre en mis labios y me volví a Camus enfrentándome a él.
- Si no vas a luchar es mejor que acabemos esto ya. Pensé que eras una guerrera pero veo que solo eres una niña. Solo estás aquí para hacer estúpidas bromas… Sólo para eso sirves…
Parecía que había entrado en un trance, no veía a nadie no oía nada; sólo sabía esquivar el polvo de diamantes que Camus me lanzaba. Y entonces lo vi, tras de el estaban las chicas y tras de ella Asgard… Ese era mi punto, volver a Asgard para poder defenderlo, para hacer que no cayera más en una guerra como la que le costo la vida a Hagen y a los chicos. Ser digna guerrera de Odín, ser…
_- … La Reina de Hielo entre la Lava… _
Con toda claridad oí a mi hermano, a Hilda y a las muchachas… Sus ánimos, sus ansias y sus ojos puestos en mi; era más de lo que Touma pretendía, más de lo que él me había enseñado. Mi decisión estaba tomada y no sería la de sucumbir aquí.
"_Nunca lo confundas con el poder, Alexiel. No quieras ser un Dios, cuando puedas ser humano pues no hay fuerza más verdadera que la que destilan tus movimientos; guíate por tus movimientos…"_
Mis movimientos… mis movimientos…
Como si fuera un torrente de la más pura lava sentí mi Cosmo correr por todo mi cuerpo llenándome de una calidez sorprendente. Sentí el golpe del polvo de diamantes de Camus echándome hacia atrás unos metros para después de ello volver a levantarme. Le miré a los ojos con gesto frío, mi Cosmo pareció salir a escena pues vi la mirada extrañada de Camus y tras de eso parecía que había vuelto a la conciencia, escuché los gritos de los guardias y los alumnos que se arremolinaban alrededor del coliseo y una sonrisa curva llenó mi cara;
- Siente el calor extremo -exclamé-. ¡¡Great Ardent Pressure!! –una ola de lava había salido de mí para golpear al atónito Santo de Oro levantándole para después azotarle contra el suelo.
No me lo creía¿era aquello el poder de un Merak?
Me sostenía con las manos sobre mis rodillas respirando agitada y con el cabello en la cara, después de haberse roto la cinta que me lo contenía. Al levantar la mirada le vi inclinarse ante mí.
- Excelente Milady Alexiel… Sois toda una guerrera… una igual -me susurró el francés, antes de inclinarse en una reverencia respetuosa.
Escuché los gritos agitados de aquellos que estaban allí, me eché el cabello atrás para después cruzarme de brazos. Sin duda alguna aquello se sentía mejor que cualquier broma; pensé volviéndome al lugar donde Aleisha, Zelha y Touma se encontraban. Éste salió de allí con una sonrisa de oreja a oreja andando hacia mi…
Pero después de verle… todo se me hizo oscuro…
() Graaacias sobrinita por la ayuda con la dichosa palabra :P
6. Dreams
_**Disclaimer: No, ningún caballero es mio ni la serie ni nada... Bueno la historia si, y el personaje de Alexiel de Merak es completamente mio todito lo demás es de Zelha, Argesh Marek y el mundillo de Kurumada.**_**
**
**Capitulo VI: Dreams**
Estuve dormida hasta la mañana siguiente, cuando desperté me encontré rara.
Primeramente me resultó algo raro no ser despierta con los gritos de Milo, después que recordé la pelea con Camus no me pareció extraño andar en ropas de batalla… y menos aún que a un lado de aquella camilla una cabeza de largos cabellos azulados descansara. Sonreí maliciosa mientras tiraba levemente de un mechón que se encontraba a mi alcance, ni cinco segundos duré cuando ya tenía un par de ojos verdes mirándome fijamente.
- Por fin despiertas… después dirás que tienes sueño…
- Y lo tengo Ale, lo tengo -dije bostezando un poco-. Oye… ¿cómo fueron las batallas?
- Pues Kanon y yo empatamos porque los dos lo decidimos antes, Alexa simplemente pisoteó al floristero y Chloe lo pasó mal pero logró hacer su tanto…
- ¿Y la cabrita? -noté como Aleisha se tensaba levemente para después suspirar hastiada. Me miró fijamente y su mirada había cambiado totalmente
- Tuvo una pelea demasiado fuerte -dijo en un susurro-. Está… en coma.
Creo que mi sorpresa se dejó ver demasiado, si era normal que yo cayera tan pronto; era demasiado débil en las peleas y eso se dejaba translucir demasiado rápido. Pero de Zelha era algo inconcebible, ni de ella ni de las demás; Aleisha me contó como había sido la pelea contra Saga y la comprendía, si se hablaba de poder en aquel Santuario era normal que la imagen recurrente fuera Saga. Aleisha me comentó de la indignación de parte del Santuario, no sólo con Saga sino con Camus por la batalla contra mí.
- Tenían que probarnos, tal vez Géminis si se pasó con eso pero él -dije volteando la mirada-, tenía que hacerlo así…
- ¡¡Ahhh baka!! -casi gritó intentando controlarse y dándome un suave toque en la cabeza-. Ese idiota se pasó contigo, todos lo vimos…
- No, Ale, él me enseñó algo. Yo soy débil, cuando Hagen entrenaba yo me dejé ir mucho porque él cuidaba de mí, a su muerte mi entrenamiento se reforzó pero poco más o poco menos sabía que Bud estaba. Ahora seguía en lo mismo, mis entrenamientos con Milo no avanzaron mucho, tú misma te diste cuenta que no soy constante en un cuerpo a cuerpo -Aleisha gruñó al recordar aquel entrenamiento donde peleamos y rápidamente me desestabilizó-. Mis técnicas si sé utilizarlas y desperté el Cosmo de fuego de los Merak cuando me vi en peligro… pero debo aprender a pelear con mis puños.
- Háblalo con Milo si eso crees, él sigue siendo tu tutor… Así que ve levantándote, avisa a Marin que te vas y tira para la Casa del Escorpión. Por cierto, si vas a buscarme no lo hagas a Géminis –bajó la mirada-. No puedo estar ahora mismo en el mismo lugar que Saga… podríamos matarnos mutuamente. Le preguntaré a Alexa si me deja quedarme en Piscis con ella por unos días.
Suspiré levemente, no podía creer que Zelha estuviese así. ¿Es que Athena no se preocupa de los suyos¿Es que acaso piensa que aquello será mejor así? Me levanté casi de un salto de aquel sitio, ahora más que nunca necesitaba respirar y salir de todo aquello, no pensar más…
Tras hablar con Marin, quien me pidió demasiadas veces que pensara en lo que iba a hacer, comencé a caminar por el Santuario. No pensaba aún subir a la Escalera Zodiacal, no deseaba encontrarme con ninguno de los Dorados aún, por suerte aún no había mucha gente allí y las pocas que había visto eran las Kóres (1) de Atenea. Ellas irían al Templo que tenían cerca de la Fuente donde pasábamos las Amazonas las horas muertas, aquel Templo estaba destinado sólo para el reposo de la Diosa y a las Amazonas cuando tuvieran hijos… Sonreí falsamente¿acaso con el mal genio de estos Caballeros alguna amazona se enamoraría?, bajé la mirada cuando un par de ojos índigos llenaron mi mente. Sí, aún con mal genio, aun tratándonos mal caíamos en sus redes…
Llegué a la Fuente y me metí dentro de ella, aún era demasiado de mañana pero el agua fría despejaría mi cabeza que parecía aún llena de hielo de algún ataque del Caballero de la Onceava Casa. Las ropas no tardaron en pegarse a mi cuerpo producto de aquel líquido elemento y mis cabellos flotaban alrededor mío, tal y como flotaba yo en aquel agua. Miraba el cielo que comenzaba a amanecer y pensaba en el día de ayer, en aquel sentimiento, en Camus y sus ataques, en Zelha, en Asgard… y en Touma. Aquel pelirrojo había conseguido lo que se proponía, tal vez por mi terquedad en ganarle al Acuariano o tal vez…
- ¿Tomando un baño tan temprano? -casi salté del agua al escucharle. ¿Desde cuándo se presentaban los Ángeles tan de improviso?
- Despejando ideas, Touma -susurré tapándome el pecho con los brazos cruzados sobre ellos-. Necesitaba pensar, sobre todo después de lo que le ocurrió a Zelha…
- Entiendo -dijo él sentándose al borde de la Fuente y acariciando con un par de dedos el agua que se arremolinaba cerca de mí-. Tú tuviste mucha suerte… despertaste el Séptimo Sentido pronto…
- ¿El qué¿Qué yo qué? -le miraba sin entender, yo aún no sabía como le había ganado a Camus. Yo no recordaba nada de la batalla; sinceramente, era como si mi mente hubiera hecho aquella elección por sí sola. Aleisha tampoco quiso comentarme el cómo, pero debió ser muy grande para quedar completamente agotada.
- Tú despertaste el Cosmo de fuego de los Merak, amiga mía -me sonrió el muchacho de bermejos cabellos-. No lo controlaste mucho, eso sí, y por eso te desmayaste…
Parpadeé un par de veces sin comprender nada. ¿Yo había hecho aquello¿Yo sola? Hagen se reiría cuando le comentara en la siguiente carta, pero…yo sola… yo lo había hecho… Miré aún estupefacta a Touma.
- ¿Estás mintiéndome?
- Oye¿me ves cara de mentiroso? -comentó haciéndose el enfadado con una mueca de fastidio en sus labios. Yo me eché a reír.
- Jamás me creí capaz de aquello, yo no soy alguien fuerte… de hecho, aunque quiera aparentarlo sé bien que no lo soy. Mira a las demás, Touma, Aleisha no tuvo problema frente a Kanon, Alexa barrió totalmente a Afrodita, Chloe supo cómo hacerle frente a aquella oscuridad… y Zel… -suspiré mientras se me venían aquellos ojos a la mente.
- Zelha supo como utilizar su don y le pasó algo como a ti, pero multiplicado -me respondió Ikarus-. Ambas hicisteis morder el polvo a vuestros contrincantes, y eso os hace merecedoras de un honor aún superior al de los Santos Dorados…
Le miré fijamente tras esas palabras, él sonreía y yo estaba frustrada… ¿cómo demonios hacía para ver aquello tan claro? A veces me recordaba a Lady Flare, ella siempre nos apoyaba a todos con una sonrisa, nos curaba las heridas cuando caíamos y ella siempre estuvo a mi lado cuando Hagen murió. Ella había llorado a mi lado, delante de aquella tumba de hielo que le habían proporcionado; ella acudía todas las noches a mi cuarto cuando despertaba entre sueños… La misma había apoyado mi decisión de convertirme en Diosa Guerrera; sonreí con languidez apoyada en la fuente.
- El destino es algo curioso -susurré llamando la atención de mi interlocutor-. Cuando llegué aquí pensé que iba a ser una pérdida de tiempo, que no podían enseñarme más puesto que era la mejor… y todos me habéis dado lecciones. Aleisha me enseñó a sonreír, Chloe a ser valiente y no temer, Alexa a pelear por mis ideales, Ninah a no echarme nunca más atrás, mis Maestros a controlar mi Cosmo, a canalizarlo… Tú –dije mirándole a esos ojos turquesas-, a creer en mí misma... y Zelha -sonreí-, a ser una auténtica mujer…
- Nunca te acostarás sin saber nada nuevo, Blancanieves -respondió malicioso, llamándome por aquel apodo impuesto por Zel-. Lo bueno es que eres consciente de lo que puedes y no puedes hacer, y quieres ponerle freno.
Poco después volví a Escorpio, con un poco de suerte no volvería a Acuario hasta dentro de mil años; no quería volver ni de broma. Entré y me pareció extremadamente raro no encontrar a nadie, demasiado silencio.
_Demasiado temprano, tonta._
Me metí por los pasillos hasta llegar a mi habitación, era reconfortante llegar al lugar que tenía como casa. Me tiré en la cama con un suspiro, pensando en todo lo que estaba pasando y en la determinación de mis palabras con Touma. Tan determinada estaba a ello que me sorprendí, si mi hermano me escuchase se reiría… ¿Sería capaz de mejorar¿De hacerme más fuerte? Yo quería ser capaz de pelear y no caer tras de eso como lo hice ante Camus, saber manejar mi Cosmo sin problemas… llegar al Séptimo Sentido..
Recordé palabras de Siegfried sobre aquello, era bastante rebuscado como decía muchas veces mi hermano, pero habían sido unas palabras transmitidas a todos y cada uno de los Dioses Guerreros:
_- El rango de un guerrero es el resultado de su propia conciencia, su voluntad, su condición física... en verdad todos estos elementos son importantes, pero la base de la Cosmoenergía, el elemento final que determina la fuerza última de un caballero es el Séptimo Sentido... -me dijo en aquella ocasión, mientras Alberich me daba clases en el Valaskialf (2)._
_- Mira que eres rebuscado, Capitán -sentenció Syd, quien no perdía ojo de lo que pasaba, vi por unos momentos a mi pelirrojo profesor enfadarse muy seriamente. Le enfadaba de sobremanera que nos molestasen, más cuando decía que con mi poca capacidad e inteligencia no necesitaba que estuviesen a mi alrededor, molestando._
_- Hay formas de decirlo Mizar, el Capitán utilizó la formula para mentes privilegiadas… el pueblo necesita otra más suave._
_- Por Odin, Alberich… eres simplemente odioso -tras eso Delta sonrió y yo escondí una leve sonrisita, sabía como molestarlos. Syd se me acercó y me abrazó levemente-. Lo que quería decir el Capitán con eso, es que toda tu fuerza y tu potencial para ser Diosa Guerrera solo se limitará en si consigues o no, el Séptimo Sentido._
Me quedé levemente sumida en mis recuerdos y sonreí, así que todo mi camino tendría que desembocar en el hecho de conseguir el Séptimo Sentido. No solo el mío, sino el de todas. Aleisha, Chloe, Zelha, Alexa… todas teníamos esa meta en común.
- He de conseguirlo…
- Deja de soñar rubia, levántate de esa cama y vámonos, tienes mucho que entrenar -di un salto en la cama mirando a la puerta.
- ¡¡Milo!!
Mi camino, el camino seriamente… comenzaba aquí.
(1)Kóres: Vírgenes
(2) Valaskialf: Es la primera mansión de Odín, donde estaba el Trono.
7. Canto das Sireas
_A Rubén, a quien por su cumpleaños dedico este re-comienzo. Porque tanto Alexiel como yo solo podemos comenzar y seguir adelante con un apoyo fundamental, el de un hermano. Gracias por existir y darme la alegría de poder conocerte._
**Capitulo VII: Canto das Sireas**
**Grecia, 29 de Octubre**
Camino a Asgard. Que curioso es, después de todo lo que ha pasado que me manden a Asgard así como así, sin una despedida sin ningún "hasta luego". Siquiera me he podido despedir de Milo, Zelha, Chloe o de Aleisha, mucho menos de Touma. La nota había llegado clara y el llamado de Athena igual, la propia regente de Asgard me llamaba. Hilda de Polaris, mi señora, quería mi vuelta con un rango de urgencia superior a cualquiera.
Y sola, meses antes me hubiera dado igual. Había conocido lo que era estar sola pero a todo se malacostumbra el humano y yo lo he hecho con las chicas, con mis maestros… Aún así, y no penséis que soy una malagradecida, me alegro de volver a casa. Solo que pienso que tal vez que no vea a mis amigas, que no vea más el Santuario , no más bromas al pony, ni más charlas hasta tarde con Aleisha mientras jugueteamos en la fuente… Echaría todo aquello de menos, aún cuando esté en los brazos de mi hermano, de nuevo.
El avión fletado por Saori Kido bajó en la capital, de ahí a Asgard se que tardaría un rato. Pero me vendría bien un poco de aire frío y una carrerita, además conociendo a Hagen estaría esperándome, por lo que le daría las vueltas solo para sorprenderle. Me volví hacia el joven ayudante de la Diosa quien me miró con cara de frío, con una leve sonrisa le tendí mi coletero.
- ¿Podrías dárselo a la señorita Saori? Ella sabe a quien entregárselo, y esto… -dije dándole un sobre blanco solo con el nombre de mis amigas, Chloe, Zelha y Aleisha. El chico me miró inquisitivamente durante unos segundos, lo que duré en salir corriendo hacia el arcoiris que ya mis ojos divisaban, no tan lejos de allí para mi. Una carrera nada más llegar, con el gélido aire de Asgard golpeándote la cara y dándote la bienvenida a casa.
A casa, a mi casa…
Entonces a mi mente vinieron ellos, Tholl y su gusto por levantarme sobre él para después tirarme a la nieve, Pehnrill y Jinx con sus continuos juegos, los gemelos Mizar quienes siempre tenían algo que contarme (sobre todo Syd), Mime y las largas horas escuchando su música, las clases con Alberich, las risas con Lady Flare, las continuas charlas sobre mil y un temas con Lady Hilda, el aprendizaje con Siegfried…
Y Hagen, siempre eterno para mi. Siempre eterna sonrisa, eterna presencia, siempre conmigo… A mi lado, aún estando a miles de kilómetros siempre estaba allí, conmigo; en mi cosmo, en mis acciones, en toda mi. Era mi hermano, mi consejero, mi mejor amigo, mi única familia.
Comprendí lo que es estar aquí de regreso, en casa. Y aunque tenía mi casa griega, nada podía compararse con aquello, aún cuando allí no viera nunca más el sol; hecho que no me importaba porque mi sol, el único sol que brillaba para mi eran todos ellos. Mi familia.
Aún así no pude evitar recordar a Touma, ni a Camus…
Sólo había pasado unas semanas después de todo aquello, unas semanas en las que me las pasaba con Milo, entrenando a ratos, peleándonos como críos otras tantas. Él me contaba tantas cosas de Grecia, de su panteón, de las costumbres griegas que realmente me sorprendían; como aquella de los antiguos espartanos y yo le contaba lo mismo que ocurría con los antiguos vikingos en guerra y así.
Unas semanas en las que no tuve contacto con nadie, ni con las chicas, ni con Touma (que por lo que se, se fue unos días después), ni con ningún otro caballero. A veces me había encontrado con la vestal del templo pero tal como la había visto, ella había huido y miles de veces le había dicho a mi maestro que seguro que se había pasado con ella para que ocurriera eso.
La llegada a la entrada del Bifrost no era para nada amigable, la había recordado así cuando salí hacia Grecia y cuando me escapé después de la muerte de mi hermano. Esta era la segunda vez que entraba, pero la primera sola e iba a ser bastante difícil. Cruzar el puente custodiado por Heimdall era algo difícil, más teniendo en cuenta que él no iba a dejar cruzar el puente tan fácilmente, aún así tenía que intentarlo.
Y entonces fue que lo vi, un enorme hombre de largos cabellos castaños sus vestimentas rudimentarias no parecían siquiera divinas, lo único que le diferenciaba de cualquier otro humano era Gjallarhorn, el divino cuerno, colgado en su cadera. Sonreí levemente y seguí tranquila hasta quedar delante de él, no se como me atrevía…
- ¿Qué quieres, humana?
- Soy Alexiel de Merak, hermana de Hagen de Merak guerrero divino de Beta a las órdenes de Lady Hilda de Polaris y he vuelto de Grecia bajo órdenes de mi soberana…
- Ya claro…
- A veces debes aceptar las cosas como son Heimdall… Bienvenida Alex -¿desde cuando mi mundo estaba al revés? No lo sabía pero ahora mismo y después de ver a aquella enorme mole que era Heimdall me parecía más cercano. Volví los ojos hacia el lado y no pude más que dejar escapar un gritito haciendo que me soltara para agarrarme a su cuello.
- ¡¡Tholl!!
- Hola pequeña, parece que has crecido mucho en estos meses… vamos, que tu hermano debe estar subiéndose por las paredes..
Reí ante la ocurrencia de Tholl y seguimos adelante tras despedirme, con una reverencia de cabeza, de Heimdall. Aquel enorme hombretón actuaba muchas veces como mi segundo padre, él era quien me había enseñado a cazar en el bosque y a pelear cuerpo a cuerpo. Solo que yo era bastante menos corpulenta que él y tenía que utilizar otros métodos;
- Tienes que contarme como se han portado los caballeros de Atenea contigo…
-. No puedo quejarme –dije sonriendo y comencé a contarle sobre las chicas, sobre Milo y la de bromas que nos hacíamos, sobre Mu y aquel autocontrol que me había enseñado, sobre Touma y la ultima pelea contra Camus. Ya sobre sus hombros vislumbraba el Valhalla cuando me dio por preguntarle- ¿Y Lorien?
Mi amigo sonrió y me bajó dejándome a sus pies, recordaba siendo más pequeña como casi me trepaba sobre él y como Lorien lo hacía desde el otro lado, ambas compitiendo por ver quien era más rápida.
- Podrás verla, está en palacio gracias a Lady Hilda…
- ¡¡Genial!! –dije echando a correr entre aquellos árboles que me daban la bienvenida a mi hogar. Si Lorien estaba allí eso podía significar muchas cosas, tantas como las que me corrían por la cabeza ahora mismo viendo delante mía aquellas ruinas.
- ¡¡Cuidado!! – instintos de gato me salía al escuchar un grito como ese y no podía más que tirarme al suelo. Levanté un poco la cabeza y lo fulminé con mis ojos. Dorada mirada y aquella mano tendiéndose ante mi…
- Se que no me necesitas aquí Syd, pero déjame ver a mi hermano antes de morir…
- Vale, te dejaré vivir un poco más si me das un abrazo ahora mismo –dijo pero tampoco me dio tiempo a abrazarle cuando ya estaba asfixiándome en sus brazos. Patalee y entre risas no pudo más que soltarme.
- Maldito gato roñoso, cuando descanse te daré una paliza…
- Te esperaré, rubita –escuché gritar a mi amigo mientras seguía corriendo hacia el interior. Mis ganas de entrar de ver todo aquello eran superiores.
La nieve paraba un poco mi carrera pero estaba acostumbrada a correr sobre ella, y no había perdido la practica en Grecia ya que correr en la playa del Cabo Sunion era algo parecido, aunque allí la arena no te llegaba a las rodillas, casi.
Cuando quise darme cuenta lo tenía frente a mi, aquella piedra milenaria sobre la cual descansaban aquellas lanzas en sus muros. Recuerdo como cuando Alberich me relataba, en clases, sobre el Ragnarok salía en ello la manera en como era el Valhalla. Como las quinientas cuarenta puertas que existían no eran visibles al ojo humano ya que la gran mayoría eran conductos internos y pasadizos. Como todas las mañanas nos despertaba Gullinkambi, el gallo que descansaba siempre cerca de la cocina y como Helga, la cocinera había decidido más de una vez "hacer un buen caldo con ese maldito animal". Tantos recuerdos y solo estaba a la puerta de aquella "gran casa" que era la mía;
- Alexiel…
- ¡¡Hagen!! –me tiré a sus brazos abrazándole fuertemente. Sonreí mientras sentía aquel calor que emanaba siempre de mi hermano, su olor siempre mezclado con el de la lava del volcán. Había crecido unos centímetros, o quien sabe, pero lo veía cambiado como más…adulto.
Levanté la mirada y sonreí, allí seguía aquel niño escondido en los ojos de mi hermano, siempre eterno y sincero. Aquel muchachito de cabellos rubios y ojos como zafiros, el mismo que me había protegido de las ventiscas, el que se había decidido a cruzar poblados hasta llegar aquí cargando con un bebe, aquel que me contaba cuentos hasta que me dormía o que había dormido conmigo porque tenía miedo después de las historias que Syd nos contaba a Lorien y a mi.
Aquella era mi casa, mi hogar… y estos que sonreían tras de nosotros, aquellos guerreros que vi caer y que enterré bajo una nevada…
Esta es mi familia. Esta es mi casa.
8. Gedächtnisse Recuerdos
_A la memoria de mi tía Agustina. Descansa en paz._
**Capitulo VIII: ****Gedächtnisse [Recuerdos**
**Palacio Valaskialf,Asgard.**
Eran siete cuerpos en la nieve sepultados.
Siete bajo un cielo repleto de estrellas, tantas como lágrimas brillaban en los ojos de las tres muchachas a los pies congregadas. Una de ellas de largos cabellos rizados rubiáceos la cual no dejaba un segundo de llorar, a su lado la serena sacerdotisa de Odin se mordía los labios de rabia al sentir aquel odio profundo por ella misma, por como había caído en aquella maldita trampa del destino. Odió el anillo de aquel maldito tesoro lleno del más profundo rencor.
Y a los pies de una de esas sepulturas, una niña de cabellos dorados con sus manos aferradas a una muñeca de trapo, de cabellos azabaches y un cuerpecito menudo mojado por lágrimas, las mismas lágrimas que corrían por sus ojos mirando aquella sepultura. Pequeños suspiros ahogados en lágrimas daban la impresión de que fuera más niña que adulta. Sus finas manos blancas dejaron con suavidad la pequeña muñeca a los pies de aquella persona que a su entender, descansaría por siempre en la austera y fría sepultura de nieve. Su hermano y salvador, quien sería conocido como el guerrero del hielo y el fuego, Hagen de Merak.
- Vamos Alexiel –susurró la sacerdotisa de Odin colocando una cálida mano en el hombro de la chica – Ya no podemos hacer más aquí.
- ¿Cómo estará él, Milady? –preguntó la rubia mirando al cielo donde hacía apenas unas horas Siegfried había sido consumido entre las estrellas.
- Seguramente bien Alex –susurro la mayor – Había cumplido su destino.
_¿Destino? ¿Su destino? Mi hermano, Siegfried y todos habían cumplido ¿eso? Un maldito destino que los había conducido a la muerte por manos extranjeras. Desde que aquel rubio llegó a las proximidades dejándose apresar tan normalmente me olió todo mal. Y yo que le ayude, que avisé a Milady Flare para que le sacara de allí… Saqué al asesino de mi hermano, al que ahora seguramente está disfrutando de su vida mientras mi hermano y mis amigos están muertos._
_Muertos de mano de los caballeros de una Diosa que dice que batalla guerras justas, ¿desde cuando una maldita guerra lo es? ¿Desde cuando la muerte es justa? _
_Ahora no hay nadie que me explique esto ni que me diga, porque tengo que pasar toda mi eternidad sin mi hermano… sin mis hermanos de armas, sin mis hermanos de afecto… ¿Por qué nosotras somos las que llorábamos esas tumbas mientras ellos proseguían su camino vivos? _
_Milady Hilda me mira con pena, me mira con miedo en sus ojos. Tal vez miedo a que haga alguna locura, tal vez…tal vez…_
_Tal vez el sueño haga de mi alguien…tal vez todo sea una pesadilla… _
_Tal vez y pronto, vuelva a mi._
**Tokyo, Japón.**
-Vamos, levántate –gritaba aquel hombre mientras zarandeaba a una chica de poco más de 9 años. El fino cuerpo de la chica colapsó contra el suelo, los ojos verdes se abrieron ansiosos, los dientes apretados dejando fluir por su joven cuerpo el odio y el horror al que se sometía en las manos de aquellos hombres.
Sintió como volvía a ser golpeada y como su cuerpo colapsaba ahora contra una de las paredes mientras aquel demonio, aquel hombre volvía a acercarse a ella. Aún así no temblaba, no lloraba; su miedo era interno y sus propios demonios dentro de ella habían que no mostrara un solo signo de debilidad.
Fue levantada una vez más por los cabellos, la larga cabellera de color castaño mientras sus ojos verdes, bien abiertos miraban los negros de su demonio. Aún así sonrió fugazmente mientras sus piernas pateaban el pecho del hombre quien la soltó del cabello.
- Maldita zorra… maldita niña, no vas a estar más tiempo aquí… te mataré…
- Alto Aoi – gritó otro hombre que entraba a aquel lugar – sabes que el jefe la necesita viva. Aún como está ahora sacará provecho de ella.
La puerta volvió a cerrarse, en su poca longitud se levantó para observarse en aquel espejo lleno de mugre. Entonces se permitió llorar, en absoluto silencio mientras veía su rostro rasguñado, golpeado; de sus labios corría un poco de sangre, un morado recorría su mejilla derecha y sus cabellos alborotados le daban un aspecto penoso. Cerró los ojos con fuerza esperando a ver si llegaba alguien que la terminara de golpear y la mandara a otro mundo tal vez mejor que este que le había tocado vivir.
Nada más nacer, su propia madre se había desecho de ella mandándola a un orfanato. A los 5 años una familia la adoptó solo para venderla un año después a aquel grupo de mercenarios los cuales la llevaban de un lado a otro como un simple objeto. Una derruida y destruida muñequita de trapo inservible, hasta que aquellos hombres la habían vendido a otro tercero, dueño de una casa de citas en Tokyo.
Se observó en aquel espejo, las luces semiapagadas la hacían verse como una visión espectral, aquellas pequeñas ojeras bajo sus ojos tan marcadas y profundizadas haciendo que los redondos y enormes ojos verdes opaquen el resto de su cara; las pálidas mejillas, los finos labios, el cabello castaño ceniciento. Sonrió, como sonríen las personas sin fé alguna cuando son llevadas a un incierto destino. Siquiera se acordaba de su nombre, los hombres la habían llamado Sorako, niña del cielo; ya que se pasaba largas horas observando el cielo.
Sorako caminó alejándose del espejo cuando tras de su espalda, en el espejo se reflejaba un rayo. Los ojos verdes de la chiquilla se abrieron más si es que se podía y sonrió, le encantaba las noches o los días con lluvia donde pudiera observar como los rayos cruzaban el cielo haciendo ruido, sobresaltando a las chicas y haciéndolas gritar. La jovencita sonrió mientras escuchaba un trueno bastante lejano, aquella noche si llovía seguramente que no abrirían aquella casa de perdición.
Un trueno más recorrió el cielo fijando su eléctrica apariencia en la abierta ventana. Sorako abrió los ojos para parpadear suavemente, como el vuelo de una mariposa mientras observaba como aquel rayo se convertía en un águila. Aquel animal voló un par de veces por la habitación hasta posarse a los pies del camastro donde la chica dormía. Sora se apegó a la pared, no asustada pero si atenta a todo aquello, cuando quiso darse cuenta un joven de largos cabellos dorados y grandes ojos azules la observaba, afable, desde aquel incomodo sitial.
- Hola –susurró mientras observaba a aquella chica quien temblaba levemente con sus ojos escondidos entre las hebras de castaño cabello.- No tengas miedo, eres Sorako…- ella asintió en silencio mientras observaba aquella rica vestimenta, una túnica larga de color blanco en la cual se observaban algunos hilos dorados enriqueciendo aquella tela, el cinturón por el cual aquella túnica se pegaba a aquel cuerpo eran tan dorada como aquellos hilos. Una cinta de color rojo cruzaba la frente para que los largos cabellos no se desperdigaran al aire y unas sandalias terminaban aquel cómodo vestuario. El joven la observó y Sora no tardó en sonrojarse.
- No eres japonés –susurró ella contra los largos cabellos que ocultaban la claridad de sus esperanzadores ojos.
- Soy griego, igual que tu. –dijo haciendo que la chica se sobresaltara con aquello, sonrió mientras acercaba una mano a los cabellos castaños quitándolos de su cara – Mi nombre es Zeus, padre de los Dioses… y tu eres una de mis elegidas.
La chica se quedó quieta, entonces sintió como los dedos de aquel joven acariciaban la dolorida mejilla y transmitían un calor a su cuerpo haciendo que el dolor se opacase tras eso había sentido una extraña calma en su rostro, él la volteó al mugriento espejo y la hizo mirarse. Aquellos enormes ojos se abrieron de par en par, hipó solo un segundo mientras apretaba con fuerza sus manos. Zeus apretó un poco sus hombros y la miró sintiendo en él como la chica aguantaba aquellas ganas de llorar, una vez más.
- Tu nombre es Aleisha, hija de Héctor y Alethia. Tu casa se encuentra en Esparta, lugar de guerreros…
- Aleisha…-susurró mirándose al espejo.- Yo ahora pertenezco a los hombres que pagaron por mi…
- Te ofrezco una nueva vida y casa… pero debes pertenecerme ahora a mi y convertirte en quien siempre fuiste.
Sora, ahora Aleisha sonrió levemente, nada podía ser peor que aquello. Tal vez Grecia fuera mejor que Tokyo y aquel señor, mejor que Aoi y sus malos tratos.
Zeus tomó la raída sabana que tapaba el camastro y con él envolvió el pequeño cuerpo de castaños cabellos, acunándola contra su pecho, partió al lugar que sería su hogar por mucho tiempo.
**Monte Olimpo, Morada de Ares (años después).**
- Te he dicho que no y mil veces no…
- ¡¡Estoy un poco harta de ti!!
- ¡¡Habla al señor con más respeto, mocosa!!
- Tu cállate si no quieres que te rebane ahora mismo, maldito tracio…
El joven de largos cabellos negros cayó sobre sus manos dando con su trasero en el suelo, Ares rió con descaro entonces ella fijó sus ojos verdes con fiereza en el rostro del dios de la guerra.
- Una vez más Ares y espero no repetirme más, ¿dónde has metido al niño protegido de Artemisa?
- Oh Aleisha, querida, ¿por qué eres así conmigo? Sabes que me dañas y que no tengo al mocoso…
Aleisha levantó la espada frente a la cara del dios quien seguía con su mueca perenne, un gesto de furia se anidó en los ojos de la chica, con un movimiento firme de su muñeca movió la espada frente a ella cortando un fino mechón del cabello de Ares quien saltó atrás dejando un flanco importante abierto delante de él, que la joven aprovechó. Una vasija de color rojo con toques de arena, la cual en esos instantes descansaba en los brazos de la hermosa joven; Ares frunció el ceño mientras Aleisha hacía un claro gesto de victoria con sus dedos.
- ¿Seguro que no le tienes? De acuerdo, Artemisa estará feliz con esto hasta que el chico vuelva a nosotras…
- Lesath – habló el dios con una voz tan tétrica que a Aleisha le pareció el mismísimo Hades- trae al mocoso.
- Pero señor…
- Ahora, no te lo repetiré dos veces.
Lesath corrió como alma que lleva el diablo hacia el interior del templo mientras Ares retaba a la joven de ojos verdes con la mirada. La chica, sumamente tranquila, miraba la vasija con interés. Habían pasado varios años desde que Zeus la rescatara de aquel antro, ahora contaba con unos 13 años; su cabello anteriormente castaño ahora contaba con un extraño color azulado el cual hacía refulgir sus enormes ojos verdes. Su vestimenta había cambiado, la cual ahora era una toga de color blanco, corta junto a las típicas sandalias griegas y unas glebas, con las cuales se movía graciosamente por el templo ante la mirada de Ares quien al poco admiraba a la joven fríamente:
- Aleisha, por que no dejas a Zeus y…
- No seré otra de tus tantas bersekers, jamás.
El dios rió con autosuficiencia mientras Lesath salía del interior junto a un chico quien podía contar con unos 11 años, de enormes ojos azules y alborotados cabellos pelirrojos el cual miró a la griega con agradecimiento. Golpeó la mano de Lesath, quien lo sujetaba, y corrió hasta la chica quien acarició los bermejos cabellos con cariño; el chico pegó su cara al cuerpo de la chica y suspiró llenándose del olor a jazmín que siempre llevaba Aleisha.
- Arigato…
- No te preocupes –susurró mirando al chico y verificando que no tenía un rasguño siquiera. Volvió con fiereza su mirada a Ares, sobresaltando al berseker Lesath.- Espero que esto no ocurra de nuevo, este chico es también mi protegido.- dijo sosteniendo al joven por el hombro fuertemente – Vamos Touma –susurró empujando al pelirrojo hacia fuera un segundo antes de tirar la vasija hacia el dios.
Cuando salieron de allí, la soldado de Zeus no pudo evitar echarse a reír mientras recordaba el sonido de la caída de Lesath para tomar la vasija de Ares, Touma la miró sin comprender.
- ¿Aleisha? –la joven le observó alborotando a la vez los bermejos cabellos, provocando un gesto de frustración en las jóvenes facciones - ¿Qué es esa vasija?
- El alma de Ares se encuentra ahí. Todos los dioses guardan en ellos sus almas inmortales, si un mortal elimina uno de ellos, pueden morir- al ver los ojos brillantes y decididos del niño, acotó- pero jamás lo intentes ya que tu puedes morir en el proceso.
- ¿Y por qué lo has hecho tú?
- Creo que el salvarte es una buena opción, pelirrojo – dijo echándose a reír mientras caminaba hasta el templo de Lady Artemisa, quien recibiría con agrado a su futuro ángel de Ikarus.
**Palacio Valhalla, Asgard (años después).**
Los días desde la muerte de los guerreros divinos era tedioso. Flare e Hilda no levantaban cabeza desde aquel entonces, la regente de Asgard parecía un fantasma. Había adelgazado y estaba más demacrada que de costumbre. Flare no era un apoyo muy fiable, desde la muerte de Hagen no dejaba de echarse la culpa de todo lo ocurrido, lo peor es que no podía mirar a la rubia hermana de Merak sin pensar en él.
Por su parte Alexiel no paraba en Valhalla un segundo. Se despertaba con el alba, se daba una rápida ducha y corría a los establos donde tomaba a su caballo preferido, aquel que en su niñez Hagen y ella habían puesto el nombre de Faknid. El animal de un color tan blanco como la nieve, solía saludarla diariamente con un golpecíto en el estómago de la rubia amazona la cual simplemente sonreía antes de montar sobre él y volar por el helado paisaje. Aunque hacía bastante que no montaba recordaba las clases que Syd les daba a ella y a Lorien, cuando Faknid y Dheyr llegaron a la cuadra.
_Una Alexiel de poco más de 7 años volvía a intentar montar el potrillo blanco el cual volvía a tirarla al suelo con el morro, Faknid siempre hacía aquello, lo cual provocaba las risas no solo de Syd y de Lorien, sino de todo el que viera a la joven rubia tirada en la nieve, pataleando, por culpa del caballo. Dheyr parecía más tranquilo ya, pero había costado mucho que el potrillo de color gris pizarra se dirigiera por las ordenes de su amazona._
_- Vamos Alex sube –suspiró una vez más Lorien, con su calma habitual, era sin duda digna hermana de Tholl de Phecda. Su aspecto fino y firme, la suave vocecita y sus buenas maneras la hacían ver adorable._
_- Eso intento, ¡¡por los cascos de Sleipnir!! Faknid déjame –gritó la chica rubia al sentir los dientes del potrillo blanco sobre su camisa, levantándola a peso, provocando nuevamente las risas del guerrero de Mizar quien logró sacarla del aprieto y ayudarla a subir mientras hablaba._
_- Alexiel, Lorien… __La posición perfecta__ es aquella en la que se pueda dibujar una línea imaginaria, que vaya desde nuestra cabeza hasta nuestros tobillos, pasando por las caderas._
_- Siempre y cuando el caballo no te tire –acotó Lorien haciendo enrabietar a la hermana de Merak, provocando de nuevo el corillo de risas que siempre se escuchaba cuando ellas dos estaban juntas._
Alexiel suspiró con una sonrisa en sus labios mientras recordaba aquellos esbozos de su vida. Así era diario, entrenar en el volcán hasta caer exhausta y volver con el anochecer al palacio sin cruzar palabra con nadie. Eso diariamente la estaba convirtiendo en una especie de ermitaña, hasta que alguien la trajo a la realidad.
Una de las noches se topó con aquella chica. Ojos verdes y el cabello algo más claro, aquel tono tan únicamente especial que había visto en su hermano mayor. Me sonrió con ternura, como una madre cuando observa a su hijo, hasta en aquellos gestos ella me recordaba a aquel enorme gigante con corazón de niño; su piel era tan blanca como la mía. Era una de las valquirias destinadas al cuidado de Lady Hilda como Alexiel lo era, supuestamente de Lady Flare hasta que decidió, ayudada y empujada por los guerreros divinos, a ser como ellos; su nombre Lorien de Pecdha, hermana de Tholl de Pechda guerrero divino de Gamma. La rubia se acercó a ella lentamente hasta que algo la hizo quedar parada, la joven de largos cabellos turquesas midió la distancia entre ellas con una bofetada a la rubia. La hermana de Merak abrió los ojos desmesuradamente mientras su mano se posaba en la mejilla golpeada por Lorien, su amiga de la infancia la cual simplemente la observaba con un claro reproche en sus ojos y los labios fruncidos.
- Pero…
- Me das vergüenza Alex, ¿qué pensará Hagen cuando vea en que te has convertido? ¿en que ya no cuidas de las princesas? ¿en que Lady Flare te tiene miedo? – la rubia solo observaba a su amiga con los ojos llenos de lágrimas mientras seguía hablando - A veces un recuerdo es más importante que nada. A veces, eres más feliz recordando que viendo que tan inoportuna y cierta es la realidad... Pero a veces, solo a veces, sabes encontrar esas personas que te enseñan, que una sonrisa y una mano amiga que te apoye es más importante que mil recuerdos…
La rubia dejó correr sus lágrimas mientras recordaba aquellas palabras, ellas habían sido dichas por Siegfried en el funeral de Lady Idun, la madre de las princesas. Aquello era el resumen de todo el pesar que sentían ellos quienes se habían criado entre las paredes del Valhalla. Lorien la observó, intentaba seguir con aquel gesto fruncido pero Alexiel había comenzado a llorar silenciosamente y ella nunca la había visto llorar, siquiera en el entierro de su hermano. Alexiel siempre se había mostrado entera, fría y fuerte, el pilar donde apoyarse para seguir adelante, mientras ella había sido el signo materno para la otra, el cariño, el apoyo, la ternura… Lorien la abrazó como sólo dos hermanas podían abrazarse y la dejó llorar y desahogar todo ese dolor que llevaba desde hacía ya, dos años guardados.
**Templo de Zeus Crónida, Monte Olimpo (varios años después)**
El enorme templo de paredes marmóreas se encontraba casi vacío. Al fondo de aquel templo un enorme sillón rodeado por tapices donde se podían observar distintos episodios de la mitología griega dedicados todos y cada uno de ellos a Zeus, seguramente tejido por las korés del templo de Atenea. Al pie de aquel sillón una joven de cabellos azulados observaba el sillón vacío con una extraña expresión en sus ojos. Solamente hacía unos veinte minutos que la habían dejado sola, luego de soltarle aquella misión. Al fin y al cabo es lo que ella quería, una misión, pero no le parecía el entrenar en el templo de Atenea, allí en la tierra… No quería dejar aquello a lo que se había apegado; el entrenamiento con Touma, las peleas con Ares, las preguntas a las pitonisas del templo del Sol, entrenar el tiro junto a las korés de Artemisa…
Eran tantas cosas, tantos recuerdos. Suspiró pesadamente y miró al frente recordando en él a su señor, Zeus, quien claramente se lo explicó. Ella era su lazo a la unión con su hija, quería que Atenea supiera que le perdonaba el que le pidiera la vuelta de sus caballeros y que por ello le mandaba a su mejor general, a la persona que se había ganado toda su confianza.
Aleisha suspiró mientras se tiraba hacia atrás, si su señor confiaba en ella hasta ese punto no le quedaba más que aceptarlo, aun y cuando no le gustara nada de nada aquel asunto de irse por "solo Zeus sabe" cuanto tiempo. Pensó en despedirse, por lo menos de Touma, aquel pequeño pelirrojo seguro sería el primero en echarle en falta, pero nunca le habían gustado las despedidas y aquella no iba a ser la primera ni la última vez.
Se levantó del sitio y con un leve suspiro pensó en que iría echando en la "maleta", aunque jamás pensó que cuando volviera, traería más cosas dentro de ella… como una nueva familia.
**Valaskialf, Palacio Valhalla (Actualidad)**
Llevaba una semana completa allí, había vuelto a retomar las largas cabalgatas junto a Syd aunque ahora Lorien no podía acompañarnos, los entrenamientos en el volcán junto a mi hermano, las clases en la biblioteca con Alberich, los cuerpo a cuerpo con Phenril; aún así echaba algo de menos. A las chicas. Echaba en falta la vitalidad de Zelha, los comentarios de Chloe, los silencios de Padma y el apoyo de Aleisha; echaba de menos las peleas con Milo, los ratos de paz con Mü, las largas charlas con Touma, las miradas frías de Camus… Aún bueno o malo eran tantas cosas que por unas u otras había algo que necesitaba, que no tenía allí y lo necesitaba para ser ella misma. En esas estaba cuando escuché la puerta del Valaskialf abrirse pero no cerrarse, levanté la mirada sorprendiéndome. Siquiera me levanté pensando que si lo hacía aquella visión desaparecería como los sueños que mantenía despierta en cualquier momento.
Sonreí al verla abrir un par de botones, los cuales tapaban su boca del glaciar frío de mi tierra mientras sonreía socarronamente. El cabello azulado estaba recogido en una coleta aja y por primera vez veía aquellas piernas cubiertas no solo por las glebas sino por unos pantalones de color negro que la resguardaban del frío. Observé sus labios que lanzaron una mueca parecida a la mía, justo antes de abrazarme de ella;
- Joder rubia, hace un frío de cojones en tu tierra – farfulló dejando al aire aquellas palabras malsonantes de las que siempre hacía gala. No pude evitar echarme a reír al escucharla tan cercana.
- Bienvenida Aleisha…
- Gracias hermana - aquel susurro, aquella palabra, no era nueva. Todas habíamos sido hermanas de las demás en tiempos de necesidad, el apoyo, el hombro donde llorar... Luego me diría por que estaba allí y no en Grecia.
End file.
| fanfiction |
Friendship Foundation was established in 1976 with the motto of "creating friendships with a foundation." For more than 40 years the Friendship Foundation has been a catalyst for sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ and through encouragement of individuals and couples in their walk with the Lord.
Founders Herb and Dona Fisher have mentored many over the past 40 years through encouragement and by sharing their transformational story.
Change of Pace Bible Studies began in 1976 as a non-denominational ministry for women of all ages. Change of Pace provides an environment where women can truly find a weekly change in the pace of their busy lives and fellowship with others, strengthen their walk with the Lord through topical Bible study and a participate in meaningful prayer time for encouragement and support. Today there are two thriving Bible studies that women can participate in. Please join us each spring, fall and winter where topics and themes change but the friendship remains the same.
Lancaster County National Day of Prayer is held the first Thursday of every year with various events and prayer activities and celebrations throughout Lancaster County.
How is your spiritual garden growing? | slim_pajama |
before proceeding further , we briefly underline the methodology relating the elements of the mass matrices to those of the mixing matrix . in the flavor basis , wherein the charged lepton mass matrix @xmath7 is diagonal , the majorana neutrino mass matrix @xmath8 can be expressed in terms of three neutrino masses @xmath9,@xmath10 , @xmath11 and the flavor mixing matrix v as @xmath12 the mixing matrix v can be written as @xmath13 , where @xmath14 denotes the pontecorvo - maki - nakagawa sakata ( pmns ) @xcite neutrino mixing matrix consisting of three flavor mixing angles and one dirac - like cp violating phase , whereas , the matrix @xmath15 is a diagonal phase matrix , i.e. , @xmath15=diag(@xmath16 ) with @xmath2 and @xmath3 being the two majorana cp violating phases .
the neutrino mass matrix @xmath8 can then be rewritten as @xmath17 + where @xmath18 for the purpose of calculations , we have adopted the parameterization of the mixing matrix @xmath14 considered by ref .
@xcite , e.g. , @xmath19 + where @xmath20 for i , j=1,2,3 and @xmath1 is the cp violating phase .
before discussing the results of the analysis , we summarize the experimental information about various neutrino oscillation parameters . for both normal mass ordering ( no ) and inverted mass ordering ( io ) , the best fit values and the latest experimental constraints on neutrino parameters at 1@xmath3 , 2@xmath3 and 3@xmath3 confidence level ( cl ) , following ref .
@xcite , are given in table ( [ data ] ) . .[data]1@xmath3
, 2@xmath3 and 3@xmath3 cl ranges of neutrino oscillation parameters .
no ( io ) refers to normal ( inverted ) neutrino mass ordering . [ cols="^,^,^,^,^",options="header " , ] to this end , in table 3.3 we have summarized the allowed ranges of dirac - like cp violating phase @xmath1 , the majorana phases @xmath6 and three neutrino masses @xmath21 for the experimentally allowed classes .
a few interesting points are as follows : * as is obvious from the table , the matrices belonging to class a are ruled out for io , whereas for no , although both @xmath22 and @xmath23 are compatible , however , one is not able to obtain any useful constraints for either of the cp violating phases . *
all the matrices belonging to class b are viable for both no and io . for both the mass orderings , phase @xmath1 takes values close to @xmath24 and @xmath25 . the majorana phases @xmath2 and @xmath3 are both quite small , in particular for io these take values smaller to the corresponding values for no . for no
, these conclusions have already been shown graphically in figs .
[ fig2 ] and [ fig3](a ) , ( b ) .
the corresponding graphs pertaining to io are similar and hence not shown here .
* again the matrix belonging to class c is viable for both no and io . unlike the matrices of class b , now one finds significantly different constraints on cp violating phase @xmath1 for no and io . in particular , for no , @xmath1 takes values from @xmath26 , @xmath27 and @xmath28 .
however for io , the lower limit of @xmath1 becomes considerable higher , in particular @xmath1 takes values from @xmath29 , @xmath30 and @xmath31 .
further , regarding the majorana phases , for no , the phases @xmath3 as well as @xmath2 lie between @xmath32 to @xmath33 and @xmath34 . however , for io , although phase @xmath3 remains unconstrained , the phase @xmath2 gets considerably constrained to @xmath35 .
+ for no , these conclusions have already been shown graphically in figs .
[ figc ] and [ figcphases](a ) , ( b ) . for io , mixing angle @xmath0 versus phase @xmath1 graph is shown in fig .
[ figcio ] . from the graph
, one finds that corresponding to the 3@xmath3 cl experimental range of angle @xmath0 i.e. @xmath36 to @xmath37 , one obtains a slight constraint on phase @xmath1 , in particular it largely lies between @xmath38 .
+ : mixing angle @xmath0 versus phase @xmath1 for io .
all the parameters are in degrees . ] + again for io , in fig . [
figcphasesio](a ) and ( b ) , we have shown the correlation plots of dirac - like cp violating phase @xmath1 and majorana phases phases @xmath2 and @xmath3 .
interestingly , we find that although for phase @xmath3 we do not obtain any useful constraint , i.e. , it takes values from @xmath39 , however , phase @xmath2 gets narrowed down considerably , i.e. , it lies between @xmath40 .
also , one finds that phase @xmath2 shows considerable dependence on dirac - like cp violating phase @xmath1 .
to summarize , in the light of recent refinements of mixing angle @xmath0 , we have re - investigated all the possible texture structures of three zero and two zero neutrino mass matrices for both majorana and dirac neutrinos in the flavor basis . in particular , we have examined implications of angle @xmath0 on the parameter space of three cp violating phases @xmath6 , @xmath1 . for the case of texture three zero mass matrices , in confirmation with the earlier results , we find that all possible structures remain ruled out even with the recent data . for a particular texture structure , this has been shown using correlation plots between angles @xmath4 and @xmath5 for the constraints obtained from real and imaginary parts of ratios of complex neutrino mass eigenvalues .
these graphs show that @xmath4 obtained here has no overlap with its experimental range , therefore , ruling out the present texture specific case . for the case of texture two zero mass matrices , out of the 15 possible structures , the matrices belonging to classes d ,
e and f remain ruled out even with the latest data . for the classes a , b and c ,
analysis has been carried out for both no and io .
the analysis shows that the matrices of class a are ruled out for io , whereas , for no , one does not obtain any useful constraints on the cp violating phases . for the class b matrices , all these are viable for both no and io . for both the mass orderings , phase @xmath1 takes values close to @xmath24 and @xmath25 , however , the majorana phases @xmath2 and @xmath3 both acquire quite small values .
the matrix belonging to class c is again viable for both no and io . for no , phase @xmath1 has lower limit @xmath41 , whereas , for io the lower limit is @xmath42 .
the majorana phases also acquire different constraints for different mass orderings .
0.5 cm * acknowledgements * + m.s . acknowledges the chairperson , department of physics , p.u . , for providing facilities to work .
g.a . would like to acknowledge dst , government of india ( grant no : sr / ftp / ps-017/2012 ) for financial support .
m.g . would like to acknowledge csir , govt . of india , ( grant no:03:(1313)14/emr - ii ) for financial support .
p. h. frampton , s. l. glashow , d. marfatia , phys .
b 536 , 79 ( 2002 ) ; z. z. xing , phys .
b 530 , 159 ( 2002 ) ; b. r. desai , d. p. roy , a. r. vaucher , mod .
lett . a 18 , 1355 ( 2003 ) ; z. z. xing , int .
phys . a 19 , 1 ( 2004 ) ; a. merle , w. rodejohann , phys
d 73 , 073012 ( 2006 ) ; s. dev , s. kumar , s. verma , s. gupta , r. r. gautam , phys . rev .
d 81 , 053010 ( 2010 ) and references therein ; h. fritzsch , z. z. xing , s. zhou , jhep 1109 , 083 ( 2011 ) ; x. w. liu , s. zhou , int . j. mod
. phys . a 28,1350040 ( 2013 )
; d. meloni , a. meroni , e. peinado , phys . rev .
d 89 , 053009 ( 2014 ) . | arxiv |
Fifty Shades Trilogy 1. Chapter 1
His lips closed around me and sucked hard.
"Ah!" I groan, inhaling sharply then wincing as pain radiates through my bruised ribs.
"Ana!" Christian exclaims and glares down at me, concern etched on his face. ''This is what I'm talking about!'' He shouts, ''Your lack of self preservation. I don't want to hurt you.''
''No...Don't stop,'' I whimper. He stares at me. ''Please.''
He sighed, "Ana," and climbed off of me, sitting on his knees and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Not now. Not yet. Wait, until you are better." I opened my mouth to protest but he cut me off, "No, Anastasia. Now button your blouse."
I look at him for a second, looking for any sign of giving in. Seeing none I look down and do as I was told. We stand, he adjusts his shirt and then my blouse and skirt. I try to wipe clean the feeling of rejection. I know he's just trying not to hurt me, but the tingle at the apex of my thighs is reminding me that I still haven't gotten what I desperetly need.
By the time we packed our picnic basket and were out of the meadow, in the open eyes of the workers, Christian's erection had calmed to a flaccid state. We check in with Elliot one more time, and head back to the car.
I feel like I'm fighting tears during the long car ride home. Still the feeling of being turned down is lingering. I also feel a little silly. I know he loves me. Don't I? At the moment I'm blaming the almost tears on baby hormones. We are married, of corse he loves me.
I glance at him from the corner of my eyes. His hair has the "just fucked" look, he had tried to tame it but to no avail. The slight stubble on his chin was sexy as hell. But I have to keep my mind away from the gutter. The rest of his body is well made, he did a lovely job of straightening out his shirt.
I look back to the knotted fingers in my lap, my hair falling forward covering my face. I noticed my short skirt was crumpled and wrinkled. My hands made an attempt to smooth it out. Between the two of us, some one must have noticed something.
"Ana?" Christian's voice rang next to me, sending me out of my daze of thoughts. His hand tucks my hair behind my ear as I look up into his bold gray eyes. His head turning from me to the road constantly. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine." I lied.
"No it's not." He read my mind. His voice slightly louder.
"I should be able to make love to you with out having to worry about hurting you."He said his tone still climbing. Make love. There was a time wear Christian didn't know how to make love.
Now looking at the road so not to get in an accident. "If that son of a bitch Ja-" He stopped not being able to finish his name. His grip tightened on the steering wheal. "If the son of a bitch, hadn't been put on bail none of this would have happened. All of this is Lincoln's fault!" Now his voice is near screaming. Lincoln being Elena's ex-Husband paid for Hyde's bail. I put my hand on Christians shoulder.
"Christian," I spoke softly, my earlier worry of rejection forgotten, mostly. "I'm okay. I'm here, with you, right now. Every things perfectly fine." He looked at me again, then back on the road.
"When I thought I lost you, first that you were leaving me, then that maybe your were...dead," He took a breath. "My world was crushed. I never prayed so hard in my life. I couldn't handle the thought of losing you. Both of you." He said, his gaze flickering to my stomach then to my eyes and back to the road.
He was worried about Blip! I smiled at him opened my mouth about to say some reassuring words, something sweet that hopefully would get him to keep talking and put his mind at ease, but snapped my mouth shut when I felt my lunch coming back up.
Not now! I told Blip. But no blip wasn't having any of it.
"Pull over," I mumbled not wanting to open my mouth to wide. Christian looked at me confused. I felt my face go pale then green. He saw it to, because his eyes widened and he immediately pulled up to the curb.
I jumped out of the car and ran as fast as I could to a ditch, hurling my guts out. My ribs hurt so bad. Christian was not far behind me, now holding my hair. I thought back to the first time he held my hair. Those poor flowers. So much has changed in so little time. I moved in with the man I loved, married him, and am now pregnant with his child.
A few dry heaves later I felt I had no more to give. Christian tried to help me stand strait, when that didn't work, he picked me up and carried me to the car bridal style, sitting me in the passenger seat. He tilted my chin up. "You okay?" He asked.
I nodded numbly. The pain in my ribs was extraordinary, the heaving inflaming my inner organs. He wiped a tear I didn't know was there with his thumb. I took shallow breaths, fearing pain if I breathed to deeply. He nodded and got in the drivers side.
He reached behind him in the back seat and pulled out a bottle of water. "Drink." He ordered handing it to me. I happily obliged taking small sips. I looked at my reflection in the sun visor mirror. My face had lost all color it had.
When we got home my legs were still shaky, so Christian carried me to the apartment. "Gail would you make Ana something light to eat, please?" He asked on the way by the kitchen. She gave me a sympathetic glance and nodded.
"Yes Mr. Grey" Gail, Taylor, Grace, and Carrick, were the only ones who knew about my pregnancy. Well Gail and Taylor weren't told but I'm sure they have figured it out by now.
He put me in bed and I slipped off my skirt and blouse and put on one of Christian's shirts. I couldn't help but see him eyeing the bruises on my sides. He set a trash can next to the bed, but even if I needed to throw up, I had nothing left to give.
Christian was sitting next to me on the bed stroking my hair when Gail came in a short time later with a tray holding a bowl of chicken soup and a sleeve of salt crackers. "If the soup is to heavy, the crackers should settle your stomach."
"Thank you Mrs. Jones." I say, my voice sounding tired.
"Your welcome Mrs. Grey. Mr. Grey." She nods and scurried out of the room.
I didn't even eat half the soup, and only about a hand full of crackers, when I just couldn't bear to take another bite. I get up, earning a nasty glare from Christian, and went in to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
I finish, and look in the mirror, I have gotten most of my color back - and still have bruises patching my face. Turning to my side in the full length mirror, I lift my shirt and run my hands over the not yet existent bump where Little Blip develops. In a few months I would be a big a balloon. Not looking forward to that.
"You need to eat Ana," says Christian as I walk out of the bathroom.
"I'm not hungry. I don't think I can take anymore, " I say weakly
"Eat Ana." He pushes the tray towards me. When I didn't move he smirked. "Anastasia, I swear if you don't eat I will tie you down and force feed you."
I laughed and ate half of what was left. 'Better than nothing,' he had said when I declared when I was done.
2. Chapter 2
I buttoned my dress shirt. Everything still fit. Except my bra was a little tight. The week was up and I could go back to work. I had not told Christian of my plans yet because I suspect he won't take it well. But I'll deal with fifty when the time comes.
He has still been hands off with me and its driving me crazy! He keeps avoiding my kiss and my touch. I need to feel loved by my husband. I need him to hold me as we make love. He thinks he'll hurt me, but I have complete trust in him. And I feel fine now; except the morning sickness. It's more like morning, noon, and night sickness. But it's finally easing up a bit, and for now lets just start with my office at SIP. My mind slips towards Christian again.
I have tried to seduce him, I did the night after our picnic at the new house.
I climbed in bed after Christian. We were facing each other. I stared at his chest and hesitantly placed my hand over his heart. He didn't flinch one bit. He has come so far. There was a time I couldn't be within arms length of him shirt less with out my hands some how restrained.
"Hi," he said, his voice soft. I looked up and found him gazing down at me.
"Hi," I said back. The look he was giving me, made my abdomen clench. I started running my hand up and down on his chest.
"Ana," he said in a warning tone.
My hand trailed lower, Fingering the top of his pajama pants. He grabbed my arm making me jump. "Ana. No," his voice stern.
"But," I protested.
"I'm not in the mood baby" He said and rolled over, ending the discussion.I fought tears as I turned so we we're back to back, and drifted to sleep angry and wanting.
I braced myself for hell on earth as I waked in the kitchen where Christian was eating pancakes and eggs drenched in syrup. Ew!
"Hello Mrs. Grey," Ms. Jones said as I walked in. "Would you like some breakfast this morning?"
"Yes please. Just some toast thank you." I wasn't hungry, but I wouldn't have a chance negotiating going to work if I didn't eat. Gail nodded and started preparing.
"Where do you think your going today Mrs. Grey?" Christian raised an eyebrow.
I sat down next to him at the breakfast bar. "My week of isolation is up Mr. Grey. I can go to work today."
I expected all holy hell to brake loose at this. But it did not. He sighed. "Do I have to let you go?" What? My mind was foggy with confusion for only a moment. He's giving in?
"I think you do." I told him, putting my hand on his shoulder.
"Okay. But only if Sawyer stays in the building with you." I could tell he didn't want me to go at all, but this was better than nothing.
I nodded, "Okay."
Gail brought me my lightly buttered toast and I started nibbling away. This day is going well.
Taylor drove me and Christian to SIP, with Sawyer following behind in my car. I got out of the car.
And, Christian got out behind me?
"What are you doing?" I asked him.
"Coming in to tell your PA, to make sure you eat on time, to make sure you don't lift anything, and if you get sick, to call me. Even though I hope you would call me if you get sick or dizzy, on your own accord."
I guess I can live with the first two. I know me, and I'll most likely forget to eat, and I'm stubborn and will try to lift something to big. Even though right now I can still lift things, I'd rather not risk it. But I don't need to be baby sat at my own job! I'm not a child.
"Of course I'd call you." I said to him. "You don't need to tell her that."
"I don't care, I'm going to anyway, Ana."
"Christian, I promise I will call you. So please, don't bother Hannah with that." I beg him.
He looked displeased, but I could tell he also believed my promise. He ran his fingers through his hair. "I'll humor you Mrs. Grey." And with that, followed by Luke, I walked into Christian hopped back into the SUV.
I got a large amounts of "welcome back's" from the staff as I walked through the building, which I answered with shy smiles and "Thank you's"
The day started off fine, the nausea had almost completely faded, until Hannah tried to bring me some coffee. That smell went straight to my head to me heaving over the toilet. Just the smell had my stomach churning.
Once the contents in my stomach was down the drain, I came back out of the bathroom, explaining to Hannah that I wasn't hungry and that my episode a moment ago was from something I had eaten this morning.
She looked nervous for a moment. "Would you please try to eat something Mrs. Grey?"
Oh, shoot. Christian. I made him a promise. "Okay, would you mind bringing me something light from the deli? Maybe a turkey sandwich?"
"Right away Ana." She began to run off, but I stopped her.
"Oh, and Hannah? Don't bother calling my husband, I'll do that right away." I know if I didn't I would be getting a ear full later. Hannah gave a slight smile then went to go get me my meal. I picked up my phone and dialed my loving, and overprotective husband's number.
"Ana?" his voice comes over the reserver slightly panicked.
"Hey," I say. "I'm fine, I just am telling you that I got sick. Apparently the smell of coffee can do that now, just to keep that in mind."
"Do you want me to come get you?" He says his voice still laced with worry.
"No, no. I'm fine. And before you ask, yes, I'm planing to eat something." Er, or attempt to any way. "I've already sent Hannah out for something from the deli."
I hear a relieved sigh, then his voice takes on a new tone. "Good girl." Just those two words send pleasurable waves through my body, starting to make me hot and bothered. "Do you mind if I have lunch with you?" The tone is gone, to my dissatisfaction.
"Not at all," I say my voice slightly higher than before. "What time do you think you'll be here?"
I hear a smile in his voice, "Not long, probably ten minutes. Be good Mrs. Grey."
"I'm all ways good Mr. Grey," I say smiling to myself.
"Is that what you think?"
"Uh huh" I say with a nod and smile seductively he can't see me.
"Well I'll just have to reward you for your behavior baby." Then there's a him!
3. Chapter 3
**Hey Guys, I'm so sorry. School got in the way of me updating. And then I got sick. Now, school is out, and I'm slightly better. So hear is Chapter three. And If anyone would like to beta, that would be grate. **
I head back to the bathroom to fix my makeup, when I return there is a very hansom man standing in my office, with two sandwiches in his hands, one turkey the other ham.
"Here you are my lovely wife," he says as he hands me the turkey a smile on his face. I half smile and take it from his hands.
"Thank you," I say sitting in my comfy padded chair. ___This looks like a lot of food,_ I think looking down at the six inch sub. I was not hungry at all, but my loving and caring husband sits across from me in a chair he pulled from the corner of the room, and waits for me to start eating my meal.
I know I must eat. Now, in the time it takes me to devourer four bites, his sandwich is half gone.
He must see me struggling, "Baby, you don't have to eat it all right now, one of us will eat it latter. Okay?"
I am so relieved. "Thank you so much! I don't think I could have eaten another bite."
He gives me a half smile. "It's okay baby." I put my half eaten food back in the sandwich bag and nursed a tea that was sitting on my desk. Christian tells me about a business deal he just finished up with. Earning us more money that we don't need, it will just pile up in the bank.
I watch my proud husband finish eating, and tell his tails with pride. He could rule the world all by himself. So powerful. The muscles deep in my core clenched.
He stopped mid-sentience then a mischievous grin spread across his face. "Something on your mind Mrs. Grey?"
It took me a moment to snap out of my unadulterated daydream, and still I hadn't a clue what he had said. "What?"
His smile just grew. "Distracted? By what?"
"My attractive, powerful husband," I say this with no resent, and my chin up high.
"Attractive? I'm flattered. But I do believe my wife has me beat on that scale. She's the most stunning woman I have ever laid eyes on."
My face flushed, I just know it.
"Well, then we must just agree to disagree, Mr. Grey."
His eyebrows scrunched together. "Ana, you're beautiful. You must know that, I've told you millions of times."
I shrugged, my eyes downcast. "It's just that soon I'll be the size of a whale. Don't think you'll think of me too attractive then."
Christian placed his sandwich on my desk, and rose from his chair. He knelt down in front of me. When I refused to meet his eyes he takes my chin in his hands and turns my head toward him. "Anastasia, you are gorgeous, nothing will ever stop me from seeing you in that light. You carrying my child, will just add to the love I feel for you. Never think of yourself as anything less that perfect." He looks down for a moment and tentatively puts his hand on my stomach before kissing my lips.
Any doubts that I wasn't or wouldn't be beautiful, left my mind for good. I knew Christian would love me, no matter what I looked like. Our lips brushed together again, and again, and again. My body now swooned with need. I need my husband, and I need him NOW! I deepened the kiss, pressing my lips rougher against the man's in front of me.
He returned it, before kissing down my jaw and neck. I closed my eyes, letting his mouth roam. I let out a low moan.
He stopped for a moment, his eyes closed and he took a calming breath. "Baby, I want you so much, but are you shur? Your ribs..."
"Christian, please? I need you. I'm going to burst in to flames." I tugged lightly agents his hair, trying to pull him back to me.
He waited then nodded. "Okay. We can try, I just don't want to hurt you." His lips were tenderly back on mine. At the moment, I wanted fast, I needed him as soon as possible. But his hands were gently rubbing up my sides.
"Christian," I wined. "More. I need more."
"Patients, Baby." His mouth traveled lower, his teeth grazing my collar bone, I sucked in a breath. His hand began to run up the inside of my shirt.
My belly was exposed, my shirt about to come off, when I hear the ringing of his phone. My head fell back and Christian grunted, frustrated.
He dug the phone out of his back pocket, "What?!" he shouted into the reviser. I heard a mumbling on the other end, Christian sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine...Yes...I'll be there soon." He hung up without waiting for a response.
He gave me an annoyed, and sad smile. "I'm sorry baby I've got to go."
I whimpered and squirmed in my seat. "I understand."
He half smiled and stroked my cheek with his hand. "We." He kissed my other cheek. "Can." My forehead. "Finish this." My nose. "Latter." My lips. "Okay?" he looked into my eyes.
I nodded. "Promise?" I asked.
"If you're not in pain baby." He pecked my lips again. Then stood. He packed up his few items then walked to the door. "Do you want me to leave you the rest of your sandwich?"
I decided to make him happy. "Yeah, I'll nibble on it for the rest of the day."
He smiled. "Good, we need to keep you fed. Now, see you at home, baby." He winked then walked out the door.
The rest of the day I was hot and bothered. I could not concentrate at all! I barely got anything done. I send Christian an email.
**To:** Christian Grey
**Date:** September, 2011
**Subject: **Hot and bothered Wife
**From: **Anastasia Grey
Dear loving husband,
You didn't get to finish loving your wife and she is very needy. She has barely gotten any work done sence your visit. Thoue she finished over half of what was left of the sandwich.
I can't stop thinking about you. What time will you be home tonight? I'm getting out at about 2 to 2:30
xoxox
Anastasia Grey, editor for SIP
A reply comes imedently.
**To: **Anastasia Grey
**Date: **September, 2011
**Subject:** Horny husband
**From: **Christian
Dear hot and bothered Wife,
I have been just as bad I ashur you. My mind constantly returning to your lovely body, your sparkling eyes, tits, that ass, and that smart mouth of yours. I'm constantly having to adjust a hard on.
And to answer your question, if you find some way to keep yourself occupied I'll pick you up at 2:15 or 2:25. How does that sound? Or I could be home a little after you and Sawyer will drive you home. Up to you, just let me know.
Love you.
Christian Grey, CEO
**To:** Christian Grey
**Date: **September, 2011
**Subject:** Need You...
**From: **Anastasia Grey
A.S.A.P. So, would you pick me up? I'll just look over a manuscript wail I wait.
xoxo
Anastasia Grey, editor for SIP and needy wife of Christian Grey
When I'm done with work I tell Sawyer of my plans, he already knows of course. Him and I both sit in the lobby wail we wait. I have a manuscript with me but am not getting much reading done. I end up just shoving it in my bag.
I find my hands on my belly. I think of what it will be like to be a mother. To have Christian as a father. And to have a little bundle of joy. I am positive Christian will be an amazing dad. Even if he doesn't think so yet.
I close my eyes, I see a little copper haired boy with gray eyes, a mini-Christian.
Soon I feel some lips on my cheek and a whisper in my hear. "Ana, baby? Wake up sweetheart."
My eyes flutter open and I'm greeted by the beautiful, and sexy, smiling face of my husband. "Hi." He says.
"Hi," I say threw a yawn. I grab my purse and get up. Christian pecks my lips and puts his hand on my lower back.
We get in the SUV and Christian asks, "How are you feeling?"
"I'm not in pain, and I'm not nauseous. And that in there? That was just a daydreaming catnap." There is no way in hell I'm going to let him get out of this. He will not hurt me! "I am perfectly fine. Well, almost. Right now all I need is my husband."
"Soon, Mrs, Grey."
**Would you guys also send in your ideas of what I could add into the story? It can be anything from cute little on paragraph seans, to big plot additions. I just don't know where I"m going with this and i'm afraid that if I don't get an Idea then the all too well know curse called wrighter's block will come to haunt me. Thank you!**
4. Chapter 4
**Here's a really short one guys. Love you. 3**
The rest of the car ride home, Christian and I shared a few heated kisses and touches. Nothing to explicit, Taylor being right in the front seat.
Taylor let Christian and I go up on the elevator alone. The moment the doors closed, the was on me. His hands and mouth roaming to his liking. His mouth nibbled down my neck. His hands ran up and down my thighs. He hooked one leg around his hip, and pushed his fingers agents my panties.
He let out a low whistle. "Already Ana?" He rubbed up and down my covered slit, teasing me.
"Always ready." I breathed, as my fingers tangled in his hair. I could feel his erection agents my thigh.
Soon he pulled away.
"Wha-"
He let my leg down and pulled my skirt down. One more hot kiss was planted on my lips before the doors opened.
My feet were suddenly no longer under me. I let out a squeal and a giggle and rapped my arms tightly around Christian's neck.
"I love that sound." He said and kissed my nose. He began to run to the bed room. For a moment I thought he had finely believed me that I was no longer in pain, that he wouldn't treat me like I'm made of glass. But he set me so gently on the bed. Like I would shatter.
He quickly striped off his shirt. His body is beautiful. So sexy. Every muscle is perfect. I find myself staring.
"See something you like Mrs. Grey?" He asks with a smirk.
All I can do is nod.
"I want to bite that lip." He states. Then proceeds to prowl over to me, stalking me like a lion. He does as he wished. He takes my lip from between my teeth to his and pulls. I moan.
Soon my shirt and skirt has made a disappearing act. I am left in my bra and soaked panties. Where did my shoes go?
"Tell me if anything hurts okay? I can't hurt you Ana." He tells me as he kisses down my jaw. Oh, if he keeps going where he's going he defiantlywont be hurting me.
I nod. "Okay, I will." I say when I realize he can't see me from where he is.
His hand reaches around and undoes my bra. His fingers pinch my nipples.
I gasp. "You okay?" He pulls back from my neck and removes his hands. He's frowning.
I slowly nod. "Yeah, just, sensitive."
"Good sensitive?" He asks.
"I think so."
He then smiles, and his head is down on my left breast. He uses just his lips and tong. I moan and groan. I arch my back, pushing more of my breast up. I am putty.
His hand finds my crotch. He lets out a sexy grumble, then he rips my panties away. He pushes a finger in to my tight hole and this thumb circles my clit. My hips thrust down, trying to get more of him.
He moves his mouth again, trailing it down my ribs and belly. My ribs are still slightly yellowed, but don't hurt. Christian plants and extra long kiss to my belly, right above where Blip lies. My hart just about explodes.
Lower he goes, his tong. invading my folds. One finger thrusting in out of my hole, and his tong. now sucking on my little swollen bud. He adds another finger and I feel myself quickly climbing. My hands clutch the sheets, and I bite my lip as my muscles tense.
"Let go baby. Let me hear you cum."
And I'm gone. Every muscle tightens until I thing it's going to snap – and my ribs to hurt slightly for a moment – then everything lets go, and I'm riving on the bed, clutching his fingers in me. I scream, and my eyes squeeze shut.
When I open them again, he is right in front of me. He kisses my nose then lips. "You okay? He asks.
"Yes, I am very okay." I smile and he smiles back.
"I am very glad. Now, I'm going to make love to you." And he does. He is slow and gentle, but not to so. We stare into each others eye's not breaking contact. I soon feel my second climax rising. I can feel his love. He is trying so hard not to hurt me, and I know he wont.
He angles his hips just right. "Christian," I whimper.
"Cum with me baby, let me see you." And we both fall apart in each others arms. We scream each others names. My head is back and my eyes closed in bliss. But I know he has not looked away from me. He watches me climax for the second time tonight.
**I'm sorry this was so short guys. My computer was thowing a fit. 3 love you.**
End file.
| fanfiction |
Apachekolos tenuipes is a species of robber flies in the family Asilidae.
References
Further reading
Diptera.info
NCBI Taxonomy Browser, Apachekolos tenuipes
Category:Asilidae | wikipedia |
physical activity in hot , humid environments is common over a wide range of sports and conditioning settings .
some athletes may also purposefully train in hot , humid environments for the adaptations related to training acclimation and environmental acclimatization ( 23 ) . in such , athletes , coaches , and sports medicine professionals alike
tracking core body temperature ( tc ) during exercise in hot and humid conditions can help mitigate the risk of heat illness ( 2 ) .
traditionally , tc has been measured in environmental researchers by invasive probing of the esophagus ( 4 , 9 , 10 , 27 ) , nasal opening ( 8 , 13 , 26 ) , or rectum ( 4 , 10 , 13 , 20 , 27 ) .
however , the aforementioned tc measures are not readily available to the public and are impractical during exercise outside of a laboratory setting .
non - invasive temperature monitoring using relatively inexpensive temporal , tympanic , and oral measurement devices are adequate surrogates for tc at rest and during light activity in thermoneutral settings ( 14 , 21 ) .
however , their usefulness as a tc monitoring tool during higher intensity exercise in a hot , humid environment is of question ( 10 , 13 , 23 ) .
recent development of a small , single - use , ingestible tc thermistor for field use allows athletes and practitioners to circumnavigate logistical limitations associated with traditional invasive laboratory - based tc monitors .
the ingested device transmits real time temperature information from the alimentary canal to an external monitor and has been validated independently ( 6 , 22 ) .
however , the efficacy of measuring tc using superficial , non - invasive monitoring techniques relative to an internalized device has not been assessed during exercise in a hot and humid setting .
the purpose of the present study was to evaluate four such alternate , non - invasive measurements of tc ( temporal , two tympanic devices , and oral ) compared to an ingestible thermistor during exercise in a hot , humid environment . by cross - validating using bland - altman analysis with these commonly available methods ,
we hope to gain insight regarding their potential to monitor heat illness risk in a sports conditioning setting .
this study was conducted in accordance with the guidelines outlined by the declaration of helsinki . prior to any formal testing
, this experiment was reviewed and approved by the university of north texas ( unt ) institutional review board .
subjects gave written and verbal consent after a member of the study staff explained the risks and benefits related to participation in this study .
a total of 14 young , active adults ( 8 men and 6 women ) completed the study ( table 1 ) .
consented subjects underwent preliminary screening consisting of a medical history questionnaire and were excluded if they self - reported any contraindication to exercise ( 1 ) . after completing the questionnaire
, subjects underwent body composition analysis ( % bf ; lunar prodigy ; madison , wi ) and a standard graded exercise test previously used in our laboratory ( 4 ) .
briefly , subjects began the exercise test at 3.0 mph and speed was increased ( men : 2.0 mph ; women : 1.5 mph ) every 3 minutes until voluntary exhaustion .
heart rate ( polar t31 ; lake success , ny ) and oxygen uptake ( medgraphics ultima cpx ; st paul , mn ) were continuously monitored throughout the exercise test .
subjects reported to the laboratory one day prior to their exercise trial and were given a packaged thermometer pill ( cortemp temperature sensor ; hq , inc . ; palmetto , fl ) .
subjects were asked to orally ingest the pill approximately 12 hours before reporting to the laboratory the following morning .
city , state ) logged and digitally stored values of heart rate and tc every 20 seconds .
after exercise completion , subject data were downloaded to a pc in spreadsheet format for subsequent analysis .
telemetry pill measurement of core temperature has been established as representative of tc ( 6 , 22 ) .
the devices were : tympanic 1 ( t1 ) ( welch allyn braun pro 4000 ; skaneateles falls , ny ) ; tympanic 2 ( t2 ) ( covidien genius2 ; mansfield , ma ) ; temporal ( exergen temporal scanner ; watertown , ma ) ; and oral ( welch allyn sure temp plus 690 ; skaneateles falls , ny ) .
a member of the study staff familiar with all devices recorded the temperatures at each site .
the measurement site was medial to the hairline at the anatomical temple for consistency within and across exercise tests .
subjects reported to the laboratory after a 12-hour exercise abstention and 8-hour fast and were instructed to hydrate with water prior to arrival .
upon arrival , subjects provided a urine sample for specific gravity assessment using a handheld meter ( atago 3741 pen - urine ; tokyo , japan ) .
subjects were deemed euhydrated if urine specific gravity ( usg ) was < 1.025 ( normal range = 1.0001.030 ) . if the subject s usg was 1.025 , then they consumed 500 ml of water and waited 30 minutes before providing another urine sample .
after the subjects were confirmed to be euhydrated , they were escorted into a heated ( 35.5 0.6 c ) and humidified ( 53.9 5.8 % rh ) environmental chamber and completed 45-minutes of staged treadmill exercise .
the exercise trial was designed to cause a gradual rise in body temperature for 20 minutes , then a rapid increase through minute 45 .
this design was intended to roughly mirror what a runner might experience when warming up and competing in a hot , humid environment . as such ,
the exercise was comprised of seven stages ( 2 walking , 5 running ; figure 1 ) . during the exercise trial
, subjects were allowed to consume water ( 212 ml / kg body weight ) immediately after each temperature data collection but were asked to refrain from pouring water on them , as this may have altered temperature measurements .
this study was conducted in accordance with the guidelines outlined by the declaration of helsinki . prior to any formal testing
, this experiment was reviewed and approved by the university of north texas ( unt ) institutional review board .
subjects gave written and verbal consent after a member of the study staff explained the risks and benefits related to participation in this study .
a total of 14 young , active adults ( 8 men and 6 women ) completed the study ( table 1 ) .
consented subjects underwent preliminary screening consisting of a medical history questionnaire and were excluded if they self - reported any contraindication to exercise ( 1 ) . after completing the questionnaire
, subjects underwent body composition analysis ( % bf ; lunar prodigy ; madison , wi ) and a standard graded exercise test previously used in our laboratory ( 4 ) .
briefly , subjects began the exercise test at 3.0 mph and speed was increased ( men : 2.0 mph ; women : 1.5 mph ) every 3 minutes until voluntary exhaustion . heart rate ( polar t31 ; lake success , ny ) and oxygen uptake ( medgraphics ultima cpx ; st paul , mn ) were continuously monitored throughout the exercise test .
subjects reported to the laboratory one day prior to their exercise trial and were given a packaged thermometer pill ( cortemp temperature sensor ; hq , inc .
subjects were asked to orally ingest the pill approximately 12 hours before reporting to the laboratory the following morning .
city , state ) logged and digitally stored values of heart rate and tc every 20 seconds .
after exercise completion , subject data were downloaded to a pc in spreadsheet format for subsequent analysis .
telemetry pill measurement of core temperature has been established as representative of tc ( 6 , 22 ) .
the devices were : tympanic 1 ( t1 ) ( welch allyn braun pro 4000 ; skaneateles falls , ny ) ; tympanic 2 ( t2 ) ( covidien genius2 ; mansfield , ma ) ; temporal ( exergen temporal scanner ; watertown , ma ) ; and oral ( welch allyn sure temp plus 690 ; skaneateles falls , ny ) .
a member of the study staff familiar with all devices recorded the temperatures at each site .
the measurement site was medial to the hairline at the anatomical temple for consistency within and across exercise tests .
subjects reported to the laboratory after a 12-hour exercise abstention and 8-hour fast and were instructed to hydrate with water prior to arrival . upon arrival
, subjects provided a urine sample for specific gravity assessment using a handheld meter ( atago 3741 pen - urine ; tokyo , japan ) .
subjects were deemed euhydrated if urine specific gravity ( usg ) was < 1.025 ( normal range = 1.0001.030 ) . if the subject s usg was 1.025 , then they consumed 500 ml of water and waited 30 minutes before providing another urine sample .
after the subjects were confirmed to be euhydrated , they were escorted into a heated ( 35.5 0.6 c ) and humidified ( 53.9 5.8 % rh ) environmental chamber and completed 45-minutes of staged treadmill exercise .
the exercise trial was designed to cause a gradual rise in body temperature for 20 minutes , then a rapid increase through minute 45 .
this design was intended to roughly mirror what a runner might experience when warming up and competing in a hot , humid environment . as such
, the exercise was comprised of seven stages ( 2 walking , 5 running ; figure 1 ) . during the exercise trial ,
subjects were allowed to consume water ( 212 ml / kg body weight ) immediately after each temperature data collection but were asked to refrain from pouring water on them , as this may have altered temperature measurements .
the limits of agreement for the t1 bland - altman plot were 1.90 c ( figure 2a ) .
review of the plot revealed that : 1 ) t1 temperature tended to be lower than the pbtc , but were within the limits of agreement ; 2 ) the distribution of the differences shifted to negative above 38.0 c ; and 3 ) more ( 5.4% ) values were above the upper limit of agreement compared to the number below ( 1.8% ) the lower limit of agreement .
there was no difference in mean temperature between t1 and pbtc measurements across all time points .
results from the paired t - tests at individual time points are summarized in table 2 . across all time points , t1 and pbtc temperatures
were positively correlated ( 0.357 ; p<0.001 ) . at 0 minutes , t1 and pbtc temperatures
the limits of agreement for the t2 bland - altman plot were 2.15 c ( figure 2b ) .
the plot showed that : 1 ) t2 temperature tended to be greater than pbtc across the temperature range ; 2 ) the distribution of the differences was unchanged across the temperature range ; and 3 ) more ( 5.4% ) values were above the upper limit of agreement compared to the number below the lower limit of agreement ( 2.7% ) .
across all time points , the mean temperature for t2 was statistically greater than the mean pbtc ( 37.8 0.7 c vs. 37.6 1.0 c ; respectfully ) ( p=0.008 ) .
results from the paired t - tests at individual time points are summarized in table 2 . across all time points ,
the limits of agreement for the temporal bland - altman plot were 2.98 c ( figure 2c ) .
review of the plot showed that : 1 ) temporal measurements were generally lower than pbtc , although the difference is not apparent until temperatures reach 38.0 c ; 2 ) the distribution of the differences shifted to primarily negative above 38.0 c ; and 3 ) more ( 5.4% ) values were above the upper limit of agreement compared to the number below the lower limit of agreement ( 3.6% ) .
no statistically significant differences were observed in the means of temporal and pbtc measurements across time points .
results from the paired t - tests at individual time points are summarized in table 2 .
temporal and pbtc were positively correlated ( 0.262 ; p=0.005 ) across all time points . at 0-minutes , temporal temperature and pbtc
the limits of agreement for the oral measure bland - altman plot were 1.90 c ( figure 5 ) .
review of the plot revealed that : 1 ) oral measurements were lower than pbtc ; 2 ) the distribution of the differences shifted exclusively lower when pbtc rose above 37.6 c ; and 3 ) values were all below the upper limit of agreement compared to 7.2% below the lower limit of agreement .
( 37.0 0.4 c vs. 37.6 1.0 c , respectively ) ( p<0.001 ) .
results from the paired t - tests at individual time points are summarized in table 2 . across all time points , oral and pbtc
were positively correlated ( 0.262 ; p=0.010 ) . at 0-minutes , oral temperature and pbtc
were positively correlated ( 0.597 ; p=0.024 ) . there were no correlations at any other time point .
the purpose of the present study was to cross - validate four non - invasive tc alternates to pbtc during intermittent exercise in a hot , humid environment using the methods of bland - altman .
this study will help inform athletes , coaches , and sports medicine practitioners monitoring body temperature during physical activity in hot , humid environments .
we have shown that tympanic , specifically t1 , and temporal temperatures provided the best representation of pbtc .
( 16 ) used an earplug containing a thermocouple during exercise in 35 c , observing that this method differed from rectal temperature by > 0.5 c . however , another exercise investigation in hot , humid conditions indicated that tympanic might , in fact , correlate with tc as assessed by rectal probe ( 17 ) .
the present study was designed with normal exercise clothing in a carefully controlled ( heat and humidity ) environment .
of the two tympanic devices tested in the present study , t1 best - matched pbtc throughout the heat - stressed exercise challenge .
the t2 measure was statistically greater than mean pbtc , which could initiate premature field - based heat illness preventative care .
considering previous literature and the results of the present study , care should be taken when choosing tympanic measurement devices to estimate core body temperature when exercising in hot , humid environments .
methodological differences may account for the inconsistent findings of temporal tracking of tc during exercise in previous investigations ( 11 , 14 , 15 , 24 ) .
( 15 ) concluded that tc and temporal temperatures were statistically different during whole - body passive heat stress while wearing a 34 c water - perfused suit .
using an exercise protocol in typical clothing similar to that in the present study ( 36.4 c , 52% rh ) , ganio et al .
temporal measures failed to track rectal tc during hyperthermia in marathon runners compared to rectal tc in a study by ronnenberg and colleagues ( 25 ) . in the present study , temporal temperatures correlated with pbtc throughout the exercise session .
oral temperature has failed to match rectal or esophageal tc during exercise in the heat in numerous studies ( 7 , 12 , 18 ) .
a literature review by mazerolle and colleagues ( 19 ) concluded that oral temperature could not replicate rectal or esophageal tc measures .
this conclusion is supported by results from males and females during indoor ( 12 ) and outdoor ( 7 ) exercise in a hot and humid environment . in the present study ,
in the current protocol , tc of 37.6 c was achieved after 30 minutes of exercise . taken together ,
oral temperatures underestimate tc and should not be relied on for tracking heat illness risk during exercise .
ingestible thermistors are an established surrogate for tc ( 6 , 22 ) and were chosen for this study as esophageal and rectal tc assessments were not available for this investigation .
oral temperatures could have been affected by respiration and cooling of the mouth through convection ( 19 ) .
however , there were no measurable air currents on the exercising subjects that might have influenced the temporal and oral readings via face cooling ( 28 ) .
it is possible that water consumption was increased in subjects when exercising beyond thirty minutes compared to the first stages of exercise when average tc reached 37.6 c .
water consumption was not allowed the minute prior to each measurement time point , but it is possible that the water temperature still influenced temperature measurements .
similar results have previously been demonstrated ( 3 , 7 , 12 , 19 ) and , although this is a limitation in the present study , it still represents an obstacle experienced both on the field and on job sites when body temperature is a concern and fluid intake is not monitored .
additionally , we can not discount the possible effects of water ingestion on pbtc during our protocol . in summary ,
the key finding of the present study is that tympanic ( welch allyn braun pro 4000 model ) and temporal ( exergen temporal scanner ) devices can be used as alternate measures tc while exercising in a hot , humid environment .
such surrogates are helpful in hot athletic or workplace environments when rectal , esophageal , and pbtc are not available .
however , care should be taken when practitioners select a tympanic or temporal measurement device as accuracy can vary . furthermore
, careful sport- and environment - specific validation of any individual device is prudent prior to heat illness mitigation in the field .
since temperature measurement is often used to reduce risk of heat - related illness during training and competition , use of the wrong device may increase one s risk of serious and possibly life - threatening complications .
the present findings have practical and clinically relevant implications providing athletes , coaches , and sports medicine practitioners with information to select an alternate measurement of tc to guard against heat - related illness . | pubmed |
Is spacetime curved in a near-earth-free-falling-object's frame of reference?
If I float motionless in outer space, I will measure spacetime to be approximately flat.
By the equivalence principle, I will get flat spacetime if I am free falling near earth.
Is this right? otherwise I can distinguish between the two scenarios.
Let say I declare myself (while free falling) to be at rest in an inertial frame of reference under GR. I see the earth accelerating towards me. What causes that acceleration?
It's not the curvature of spacetime, right? I just measured it to be flat.
>
> If I float motionless in outer space, I will measure spacetime to be approximately flat. By equivalence principle, I will get flat spacetime if I am free falling near earth. Is this right? otherwise I can distinguish between the two scenarios.
>
>
>
Notice that the curvature of spacetime is a tensor, so it is a covariant quantity. In particular, if it is zero in one frame then it is zero in all frames and if it is nonzero in one frame then it is nonzero in all frames.
However, in order to measure spacetime curvature requires a sufficiently large region of spacetime. The equivalence principle only applies if you use a region of spacetime which is too small to measure any curvature. That caveat is very important for understanding the equivalence principle, it only applies locally where “locally” means over a small enough region of spacetime that the spacetime curvature cannot be detected.
>
> Let say I declare myself an inertial frame of reference under GR. I see the earth accelerating towards me. What causes that acceleration? It's not the curvature of spacetime, right? I just measured it to be flat.
>
>
>
The floor accelerates because the ground pushes up on it. There is no gravitational force in this frame so there is no downward force to counteract the upward force. Therefore the floor accelerates.
Similarly, the ground immediately under the floor has two forces on it: a downward force from the floor and an upward force from the earth immediately under the ground. The upward force is larger than the downward force, so it accelerates upward.
This continues with the next layer of earth and the next, and eventually you get far enough away that the curvature becomes detectable over the region and the equivalence principle no longer applies.
You are saying "If I float motionless in outer space, I will measure spacetime to be approximately flat.". Let's say this is correct in the voids of intergalactic space.
Now when you say "By the equivalence principle, I will get flat spacetime if I am free falling near earth.", this is not correct. Near earth, you are inside Earth's gravitational field, inside the Sun's gravitational field, and inside the Milky Way's gravitational field (etc.). You are in curved spacetime.
Now you are saying "I see the earth accelerating towards me. What causes that acceleration? It's not the curvature of spacetime, right? I just measured it to be flat."
In reality, you do measure spacetime to be curved near Earth. This curvature is what causes the acceleration. The reason you are accelerating towards Earth is that curvature is dominated by Earth's stress energy near Earth, but you are still inside the Sun's gravitational field and the Milky Way's gravitational field too (etc.). Curvature in different directions does cancel out and the net effect is what you see that you are accelerating towards Earth.
Just like when you are at the center of the Earth, you do feel weightless. This is because curvature does cancel out from all directions. Does this mean there is no curvature at the center of the Earth? No! Contrary to popular belief, there is curvature at the center of Earth, but you do feel weightless. This is because the radial four acceleration is zero, but curvature is nonzero.
>
> The geometry of spacetime is described by a function called the metric tensor. If you're starting to learn GR then any moment you'll encounter the Schwarzschild metric that describes the geometry outside a sphrically symmetric body.
> We get the four acceleration using the geodesic equation:
> $$ {d^2 x^\mu \over d\tau^2} = - \Gamma^\mu\_{\alpha\beta} {dx^\alpha \over d\tau} {dx^\beta \over d\tau} $$
> where the $\Gamma^\mu\_{\alpha\beta}$ are called [Christoffel symbols][5] (of the second kind) and they depend on the spacetime curvature.
> When $r = 0$ the Christoffel symbol $\Gamma\_{tt}^r$ is zero and that means the radial four-acceleration is zero and that means you're weightless.
>
>
>
The answer to your question is that near Earth, in your case, when you are free falling towards Earth, there is still curvature, and that causes the acceleration.
This can be easily understood in another way, using the four velocity vector. If you accept that the Universe is set up so, that the magnitude of the four velocity vector is always constant. If you are initially stationary near Earth, you are still inside Earth's gravitational field. This causes time dilation, you will slow down in the temporal dimension. Since the four vector's magnitude is constant, your spatial component will need to compensate. You will start moving in space. You will start moving towards the center of gravity. Why will you accelerate? Because you are getting deeper and deeper inside the gravitational field of the Earth, curvature is getting stronger (still outside the surface), and the GR potential is getting stronger. You are moving towards Earth, and you are even more slowing down in the temporal dimension. Your spatial component needs to compensate even more, this you gain more speed, you are accelerating.
Now in your case, it is very important to understand the difference between curvature and potential.
>
> Gravitational acceleration depends on the gravitational force, which is encoded (within a reference frame) in the components of $\Gamma\_{ab}{}^{c}$
> Time dilation effects depend on the gravitational potential, which is encoded, within a reference frame, in the components of $g\_{ab}$.
>
>
>
[Does spacetime curvature (for time dilation) cancel out at the point of center of mass (because curvature effects cancel out from all directions)?](https://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/298766/does-spacetime-curvature-for-time-dilation-cancel-out-at-the-point-of-center-o?noredirect=1&lq=1)
So the answer to your question is, that you are accelerating towards Earth, because there is nonzero curvature, and the net effect causes a radial four acceleration vector to point towards the center of Earth. You are saying that while you are freefalling towards Earth, you are measuring spacetime to be flat, but that is not correct. If you measure spacetime curvature near Earth, inside Earth's gravitational field, you will see it is not flat, the curvature is nonzero, and the potential is nonzero too. If you do this outside Earth's surface, you will get a radial four acceleration that points towards the center of Earth, and that is why you accelerate.
The equivalence principle applies only locally. An inertial reference reference frame near the Earth does not extend as far as centre of the Earth (which determines the position of the surface of the Earth). Spacetime is not flat over regions where tidal forces (differences in gravitational motions) can be detected.
Compare this to observing that the surface of the Earth is close to flat in the region of your town. You cannot conclude the flat Earth theory from that observation.
I found this question a very apt one to probe what it is we are saying about gravity in general relativity. My answer will agree with one already posted by Charles Francis, but perhaps I can help by spelling out the analysis in more detail.
I would begin by constructing or imagining a spacetime diagram. Draw on the diagram the worldline of yourself and of planet Earth. Both these worldlines are geodesics. Now measure the separation between the two worldlines, as a function of proper time along both of them. We find that the separation is changing quadratically with time. That quadratic change is the essential ingredient in one way of measuring spacetime curvature: the way called *geodesic deviation*. The notion of a distance between two geodesics a long way away from one another is rather hard to define, but for geodesics close to one another it can be done in a well-defined way. The essence of the observation is that if this distance is $\eta$ then for timelike geodesics and small $\eta$ it will obey the equation
$$
\frac{d^2\eta}{d \tau^2} = K c^2 \eta
$$
where $K$ is the local Gaussian curvature of spacetime (in a direction singled out by the chosen geodesics). What this means is that if I am sitting in my own little inertial frame of reference, in freefall, and near to me is another thing in free fall, and I notice that the distance between us is changing quadraticaly (not just linearly), then I have detected the presence of spacetime curvature.
Notice that spacetime curvature is well-defined even at a point, but its effects tend to zero in the limit of small times and distance at a rate that is *at least quadratic in distance and time*. The equivalence principle is based on that observation. The mathematical statement would be to say that the spacetime metric is not merely Minkowskian *at* any given event P (in suitable coordinates), but also at nearby events, in that its departure from Minkowskian form only appears at quadratic not linear order in the spacetime displacement from P:
$$
g\_{ab} = \eta\_{ab} + O(x^a - x^a\_P)^2
$$
After writing this much, I began to ask myself, "is it really that simple?" Is the Gaussian curvature of spacetime near the surface of the Earth equal to $-g / c^2 R\_E$? The answer is yes, it is that simple, but a further remark is called-for. The quadratic effect that we considered here, involving timelike geodesics, would be correctly described by Newtonian gravity. So one might argue that we don't need to invoke the concept of curvature to describe them. That is correct: we could just say there is a gravitational force as in Newton's theory. The more interesting case would be to find a departure from Newtonian predictions for worldlines, or to detect the curvature of spacetime in the spatial direction, and that is harder to do. It turns out that it is of a similar size to the one we just calculated. The spacetime curvature in the vertical spatial direction near to the surface of the Earth is equal to $-g / c^2 R\_E$, and this means that a circle oriented in the vertical direction, such as a bicycle wheel or the London Eye, would have a smaller area than you might expect on the basis of its circumference. It is a small effect though: just 230 nm$^2$ missing for the London Eye.
*Postscript*
The distance $R\_E$ in the above calculation is equal to the radius of the Earth, not the distance from the surface of the Earth. This is because the surface of the Earth is not in free fall, but the centre of the Earth is. So the two worldlines are that of the person in free fall near Earth and that of the centre of the Earth.
>
> The equivalence principle only applies if you use a region of spacetime which is too small to measure any curvature.
>
>
>
@Dale I am slightly doubtful about the application of this condition. This statement is misused many times. I think if the observer, as well as the space station within which he floats, freely falls towards the earth, he always measures the spacetime to be flat WRT him, and since the space station is freely falling along with him, all the experiments being performed by the observer produce the same results as those performed by an observer floating in an interstellar space away from any gravitational field. That is, whether the length of the space station is $1\space m$ or $1\space Km$, the spacetime is flat all inside it from the viewpoint of the observer inside the space station.
However, the observer can claim that the earth is mechanically accelerated towards him inside his flat spacetime.
The only thing that may make the observer doubtful about if the spacetime is entirely flat inside the space station is the difference of G-field obeying an inverse-square law, i.e., the gravitational field is not uniform in reality. This causes the nearer parts of the space station to the earth to accelerate with greater values compared to the farther parts. The rigidity of the space station's body makes the entire station accelerate with, say, an average value. This value slightly differs from the acceleration of the observer floating within the station, and thus the observer sees that the space station is accelerating WRT him though this acceleration is very small. On the other hand, the acceleration vectors are convergent towards the center of the plant, which causes tidal forces to be detected inside the space station as mentioned by some contributors here.
Nonetheless, if we can assume a uniform G-field like that near an infinitely large *plate* (instead of planet, assume that the space station and the observer floating within are both freely falling towards this huge plate, that is), the spacetime is *entirely* and *exactly* flat everywhere inside the space station regardless of how large the spatial dimensions of the space station are. Remember that, for such a plate, the G-field, similar to the E-field inside a parallel-plate capacitor, is exactly uniform.
Remember that whether you assume a planet or a massive plate, the observer floating in the freely-falling space station always claims that the spacetime is *nearly* flat inside the space station, which this *flatness* never justifies the considerable acceleration of the planet/plate towards the observer unless the observer assumes that the planet/plate is somehow *mechanically* accelerated towards him. In other words, we are not allowed to say that because there is a very small curvature inside the space station (in the example of the planet), this small curvature explains the acceleration of the planet towards the observer inside the space station. This phenomenon is more perceivable in the example of the huge plate: Can the observer inside the space station attribute the acceleration of the plate to the exactly zero-spacetime curvature inside the space station? The answer is clearly negative.
>
> What causes that acceleration? It's not the curvature of spacetime, right? I just measured it to be flat.
>
>
>
Assume that, away from any gravitational field, an observer and an object are at rest WRT each other inside a flat spacetime. Suddenly, the object accelerates towards this observer. Can we say that the flat spacetime attached to the observer is abruptly bent just because an object is accelerating away from or towards him?
Therefore, I think that the spacetime is bent for the observer standing on the earth as well as for the observer attached to the accelerating object (in my later example), whereas it is flat for the falling observer in the falling space station as well as for the observer floating in an interstellar space just watching an object is accelerated towards him (in my later example).
>
> *If I float [...] in outer space, I will measure spacetime to be approximately flat. [...]*
>
>
>
Strictly speaking, you floating all alone by yourself would not quite be capable of determining the curvature (values of [curvature invariants](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curvature_invariant)) of the region that contains you, along your trajectory. Instead, you'd need the assistance of at least another four distinct and separated participants;
hence Synge's **"Five-Point Curvature Meter"** (Gen. Rel, p. 409).
And, in order to measure curvature accordingly, you (or any of your four assistants) wouldn't necessarily have to "*float* **freely**" (a.k.a. "in free fall").
The measurement of curvature (of a region, point by point) is somewhat separate from the measurement of anyone's "freeness", or acceleration;
cmp. [How to express the magnitude of proper acceleration through spacetime intervals](https://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/383817/how-to-express-the-magnitude-of-proper-acceleration-through-spacetime-intervals)
>
> *Is spacetime curved in a near-earth-free-falling-object's frame of reference?*
>
>
>
The curvature of a region is a quantity to be measured unambiguously; regardless of any particular (and available) choice of frame of reference referred to for this purpose.
| stackexchange/physics |
Welcome to CBS Radio Mystery Theater
Enjoy our episode guide of all 1,399 CBS Radio Mystery Theater old time radio shows for free! You can stream or download old radio shows in MP3 format or copy radio shows to CD. We're big fans of Radio Mystery Theater and by offering shows from the golden age of radio for free, we keep the spirit of the Radio Mystery Theater alive!
Adaptions
CBSRMT Episode Information Next Episode
The Hand of Amnesia
Despite his marriage to a wealthy widow, a young short-order cook refuses to break up with his former lover. When his wife discovers his infidelity, she throws him out in a fit of jealous rage. He is suspected of foul play when his wife mysteriously disappears.
Air Dates
First Run - July 12, 1982
Repeat - October 21, 1982
Ralph Bell
Carol Teitel
Lloyd Battista
G. Lewis
3 Responses to Episode 1350
"The Hand of Amnesia" was well acted by a very veteran cast. 4 stars.
DAVY JOE
Agreed. Excellent episode. Suspense lasted throughout. Well written as well.
At 27:00, when Ralph Bell talks about "moonlight", I couldn't help but chuckle. My favorite CBSRMT movie is "The Garden of the Moon".
Email: * Your email address will not be published
Dark/Light Theme
ABOUT CBSRMT (CBS RADIO MYSTERY THEATER)
Radio shows from the golden era of broadcasting are part of " Old Time Radio ", or "otr." During the Golden Age of Radio, listeners gathered by their radio to enjoy their favorite radio programs. Radio Mystery Theater (1974-82) was a resurgence of the nostalgia of those radio days.
LISTEN TO RADIO MYSTERY THEATER
Those who experienced the old time radio will enjoy listening to these programs for nostalgia, but a new generation of listeners and fans are discovering CBSRMT for the first time and are finding they love Radio Mystery Theater Episodes and Old Time Radio Downloads !
Pleasant dreams... hhmmmmmm?
© 2011 - 2020 Radio Mystery Theater Listen To Free Radio Mystery Theater Episodes Online | slim_pajama |
Since PbCl2 is insoluble in water, how is it that lead leached from pipes due to Cl- reaction can become ingested?
I have reviewed a discussion concerning the salt content in the Flint River being directly connected to lead being leached from civic water pipes in Flint, Michigan. Wikipedia has a site dedicated to $\ce{PbCl2}$ and line 1 states that this salt, once formed is insoluble in water, unless that water is heated. Is there a secondary process that results in the lead returning to a form, which can be ingested — **after** it has been leeched from the wall of a pipe?
Lead(II) chloride is not the sitting-at-the-bottom-like-a-brick type of insoluble. Rather it is the well-ma~ybe-I’ll-dissolve-a-little type of insoluble. So enough lead chloride *will* be dissolved — as Ivan mentioned, enough to poison somebody. Its solubility is given as $10.8~\mathrm{g/l}$ on Wikipedia. There are much less soluble salts like mercury(I) chloride ($2~\mathrm{g/l}$), barium sulfate ($2.4 \cdot 10^{-3}~\mathrm{g/l}$) or silver(I) iodide ($3 \cdot 10^{-6}~\mathrm{g/l}$). Note that for mercury(II) sulfide a solubility is not even given, it is merely termed *insoluble* (and *is* the sitting-at-the-bottom-like-a-brick type of an insoluble compound).
All values were taken from Wikipedia and are given at $20~\mathrm{^\circ C}$.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Persona Series 1. Prologue
Kir (Zweiela77): Yap, disini bersama Kir dan...
Rin : Aizawa Rin! Serta...
Ai : Ryouma Aiko!
Kir : Memberikan sebuah cerita, 'CROSSOVER PERSONA'!!
Rin : Yg nulis ada dua org. Aku ama Kir!
Ai : Dan saya seba-
Kir : Ai hanya mengkomentar doank! *dimarahin Ai*
Ai : Daripada buang waktu, mending sekarang kita kasih para Readers membaca!
Kir : Stuju!
Rin : S'lamat membaca~!!
~blank~
CROSSOVER PERSONA
**Prologue**
**In Indonesia, Jakarta
**
**Ruang Kepala Sekolah SMPK 1 BPK Penabur**
"Permisi," kata seorang perempuan sambil membuka pintu, "Anda memanggil saya, Kanzaki-sensei?" "Ah! Shishiten-san! Akhirnya kamu datang juga," kata Kanzaki-sensei yang sedang duduk di meja kerjanya (lho kok? Napa guru -kepala skul lagi!- duduk di meja?? *diskors karna ngehina guru*), maksud saya, yang sedang duduk di belakang meja kerjanya.
"Anyway, busway (pake bahasa gaul??), Shishiten-san, kamu pasti sudah tahu mengapa saya panggil kamu ke sini bukan?" tanya Kanzaki-sensei sambil melihat kertas-kertas yang berantakan di meja kerjanya (guru apa murid sih? Kok meja berantakan?? *digemplang Kanzaki-sensei*). Murid itu, Shishiten Kirito, hanya menganggukkan kepala bertanda, ya.
"... ..." Terjadi keheningan beberapa detik dan Kanzaki-sensei kembali bicara, "Baiklah, kamu tahu apa yang harus kamu lakukan." "... Ya" "Saya berharap sangat besar terhadap kamu, Shishiten-san," kata Kanzaki-sensei, nada suaranya mulai serius "Saya mengerti," jawab Kirito.
Kanzaki-sensei membongkokkan tubuhnya dan mengambil sebuah file di laci mejanya. Ia membuka file tersebut dan matanya pun melihat isi file itu. "Shishiten-san," kata Kanzaki-sensei dengan nada tegas "Ya?" jawab Kirito "Jangan mempermalukan nama sekolah kita ini, mengerti?" kata Kanzaki-sensei dengan suara lantangnya itu.
"Ya...," jawab Kirito "Data-data yang kamu perlukan sudah ada di sini. Kamu minta Kazuki-sensei formulir Hoshizora School, kamu sudah tahu jadwal keberangkatan pesawat bukan?" tanya Kanzaki-sensei sambil memberikan Kirito file yang ia pegangin dari tadi (Buat apa dipegang??).
Kiritopun mengambil file tersebut dari tangan Kanzaki-sensei, "Terima kasih, Sensei. Saya permisi dulu," katanya dan iapun berjalan keluar dari ruang kepala sekolah SMPK 1 BPK Penabur.
~blank~
"Oi! Kir!!" seru seorang murid dari kejauhan. Kirito memutar kepalanya ke arah suara tersebut. Terlihat dua orang murid dengan gender yang sama seperti dirinya yaitu, perempuan.
"Rin! Ai!!" seru Kirito balik, mendekati mereka. "Lo sudah ketemu sama Kanzaki-sensei?" tanya Rin, anak yang berambut light brown itu "Udah ko," jawab Kirito singkat.
"Jadi lo bakalan pergi ke Jepang beneran?" tanya Aiko dan Kirito hanya menganggukkan kepala.
~blank~
"Rin!!" teriak mamanya Rin
"Apa, ma?" teriak Rin
"Pergi belanja sono!!" teriak mama
"Males ah! Suru embak aja!" teriak Rin
"Nih, anak jangan ngeyel ya! Udah pergi aja, kalau gak, mama gak beliin game Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth, ya!!" teriak mama
Rin mengerang, "Uuh...! Padahal Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth lagi booming...!"
Dan Rin menghela nafas, "Okey, okey! Aku pergi dulu!!!"
~blank~
"Eh, untung! Dapet tiket lotere," kata Rin yang baru saja selesai belanja dan mendapatkan sebuah bonus dari belanja lebih dari 1 miliyar (Rin, kao kaya amat...) yaitu tiket lotere. Rinpun berpikir untung menggunakan tiket itu di tempat lotere.
"Ini pak," kata Rin sambil memberi tiket lotere itu ke tukang jaga lotere (Bener gak sih namanya??)
"Silakan memutar, non," kata bapak si tukang jaga lotere
Rinpun memutar kotak lotere itu dan...
PLUK!
Bola warna emas keluar dari kotak tersebut. Sang bapak tukang jaga lotere dan Rin melihat papan dimana tempat tertulisnya arti dari bola itu.
_Bola Emas : Jalan-jalan ke Jepang selama 2 minggu untuk 2 orang!_
_Bola Silver : Dapat sepeda gunung_
_Bola merah : Gratis makan capcay, pete, sama babi hong selama 1 bulan!_
_Bola Putih : Anda kurang beruntung!!! DX_
Bola mata Rin berkedip.
Bola mata sang tukang jaga juga berkedip.
Lama-lama, bola mata Rin membesar dan ia berteriak,
"HOOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEEEE!! Rin akan ke Jepang!!! Yahooo!!!"
~blank~
Kir : Ini prologue ny doank!
Readers : Kok gak ada charas dari P3 ama P4?!! Buat apa saya buang" waktu baca cerita yg gak ada mereka?! *marah*
Rin : Tenang! Tenang! Mereka bakal muncul di chapter 2!
Ai : Jadi, terus tonton ya! (mank ini film?)
Kir : Jgn lupa RnR ya!!
2. Chapter 1 : The Departure
Kir : Hello again, minna-san!!
Rin : Sekarang Crossover Persona udah masuk ke chapter 1 lho!!
Kir : Oh ya! Saya lupa disclaimer di prologue ama di chapter 1 Games!! *panik*
Ai : lo dodol sih
Kir : Hei! jgn main ngehina ya!!
Ai : Emank ben-
Rin : Disclaimer:Kami bertiga tidak akan pernah memilik Persona ataupun org" yg ada didalamnya
Kir : *melanjutkan* Kalau memang kami yang memilikinya, sekarang Ai pasti udah deketin si Mi-
Ai : KIR BODOH!! Itu spoiler!!
Rin : Anyway, please have fun reading!!
Kir : Dan juga kami gak memilik sekolah BPK Penabur!!!
Ai : Atopun Bandara Soekarno-Hatta!!!
~blank~
**Chapter 1 : The Departure**
Rin berlari, berlari dan berlari. Ia terus berlari, sampai di perempatan ia belok kiri dan kembali berlari.
_Gua harus... memberi tahu mama!!_, pikir Rin yang terus berlari.
Barang belanjaannya hampir terbakar karna Rin berlari dengan kecepatan cahaya. Setelah berlari selama beberapa milenium (lebay amat sih authoressnya!), Rinpun sampai ke rumahnya yang besar itu.
Cat warna putih, atap rumah warna merah, pagar terbuat dari emas (Rin:penyakitnya mulai lagi *geleng-geleng kepala*), rerumputan yang dipenuhi oleh penghuni-penghuni alam sana (maksud authoress itu binatang semut, cacing, belalang dan hewan-hewan lainnya).
Rumah Rin termasuk rumah –yang tidak- sangat sederhana. Bertingkat 3 (ada lonteng tempat nyimpen barang lama).
_Perkenalan tentang rumah gua lama amat sih?!_, pikir Rin dengan sebal.
Anyway, Rin kembali melakukan rutinitasnya yaitu, berlari, ke rumah. Ia membuka pintu dengan kasar (Rin:Gua bukan Kanji!) dan berteriak, "Mom!!! I'm home!!!" (alah, sok inggris *digampar Rin*)
"Ara," sebuah suara lembut menjawab, "You're back." Ibu Rin, tersenyum hangat pada Rin yang baru saja pulang dari belanja. "Ka-san! Ka-san!!" seru Rin yang terlihat hyper, "Aku menang lotere!"
"Honto?" tanya mama Rin
Rin mengangguk dengan penuh antusias
"Aku dapat tiket ke Jepang selama 2 minggu untuk 2 orang!!!" seru Rin lagi
"Ara, omelet-to!! (maksud mama Rin itu, omedetto, tapi karna udah tua kepleset. Rin sama mama Rin jgn marah ya.. xp)" seru mama Rin dengan tawa kecilnya
"Ka-san! Aku mau ajak Ai-chan pergi ya!!" seru Rin
"Boleh, asalkan bawa oleh-oleh ya," kata mama Rin.
~blank~
KRRRIIINNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Aiko!!!! Angkat thu telpon!!!!" seru mama Aiko dari atas genteng
... ... hening
"Nee-chan!! Denger gak sih lu?! Disuruh Oka-san angkat teflon! (lagi-lagi kepleset dari telepon, adik Ai-chan yg budeg kali... *digebuk adik Ai*)" seru adik Aiko yang sedang mandi (pantesan gak bener ngomongnya...)
"Berisik lu, otouto! Mandi aja sono!!" teriak Aiko dari basement
"AIKOOOOOO!!!!!!" mama Aiko teriak, seluruh kompleks mendengar teriakkan itu.
"IYE, IYE, GUE TAU!!!!!!!!" seru Aiko balik, dengan suara yang lebih kencang, kali ini satu kota denger.
Aikopun –dengan hati yang sangat-sangat tidak mau keluar dari basement (memang kao ngapain di basement?)- berjalan menuju teflon, eh salah, (gara-gara adenya Ai!) telepon.
Aiko mengangkatnya dan bilang, "Ape mau lu, hah?! Ganggu gue aje!"
'Ini... bener rumah Ryouma Aiko? Ato gue salah sambung?'
_Rin?!!_ "Ara, gomen, gomen! Kore wa Ryouma desu!!" kata Aiko yang cepet-cepet mengubah suaranya menjadi lebih halus.
'Apakah Aiko ada?'
"Ada apa, Rin?" tanya Aiko
'Ai-chan! Gue punya GOOD NEWS!'
"Apa?"
'Gue menang tiket ke Jepang selama 2 minggu untuk 2 orang!!'
"HAH?! Yang bener lo!!" seru Aiko yang tidak percaya
'Bener, sumpeh!'
"Truz? Gue boleh ikutan gak?!!"
'Tentu! Makanya gue sekarang telpon elu!'
"Aduh, Rin!!! Kamu memang yang paling hebat!! Thanks banget, Rin!!!" seru Aiko yang jadi hyper
'Yah udah! Minggu depan kita perginya! Sama kayak Kir!!!'
"Bener juga thu! Kita nanti jalan sama-sama aja!!" usul Aiko
'Ayo! Ayo!!'
~blank~
_Api mengelilingi dirinya. Dia tengok kanan-kiri yang hanya dia temukan hanyalah api, merah membara di tempat yang gelap ini._
'_Aniiyue! Aniiyue!! Aniiyue!!!'_
_Terdengar sebuah teriakan, api yang mengelilinginya semakin besar. Sekujur tubuhnya berkeringat karena panasnya suhu, tapi disaat yang bersamaan ia juga merasa sejuk._
_**Sakit**_
_**Sakit**_
_Dadanya terasa sesak, dia merasa paru-parunya menciut dengan sendirinya._
**Tak ada seorangpun yang bisa membantumu...**
Tidak!_, teriaknya_
**Di kegelapan ini hanya ada kamu dan aku...**
Aniiyue!! Hahayue!! Chichiyue!!!_, teriaknya lagi_
**Tak ada gunanya kamu berteriak..., tak seorangpun akan mendengar...**
Tolong! Tolong!!_, suaranya semakin serak, tenggorokkannya terasa kering, sangat sangat kering._
**Teriaklah semaumu... Kirito... Apapun yang kamu lakukan... Tak seorangpun akan datang menolong...**
Siapa saja... tolong... Aniiyue..._, kata Kirito, air matanya jatuh._
_Kiritopun berlari dan berlari._
**Percuma...**
Tidak!_, pikir Kirito_
_Lalu, Kirito melihat sesuatu didepan matanya._
_Dirinya sendiri_
_Tapi dalam ukuran tubuh yang lebih kecil, orang itu tampak berumur 4-5 tahun._
_**Kenapa?**__, tanya orang itu_
Eh...?
_**Kenapa...? Aku... tidak mau sendiri...**__, katanya_
_Kirito tidak berkata apa-apa, hanya dapat memandang dirinya sendiri_
_**Aku sudah lama hidup sendiri... Aku... Aku tak mau kau pergi!!!**__, serunya, seketika itu juga Kirito berpindah ke tempat yang berbeda._
_Putih, hanya putih yang ia lihat._
'_Ii ya! Dame ja, Aniiyue!!'_
_Kirito memutar kepalanya menuju suara yang ia dengar. Ia melihat seorang anak, berambut hitam dengan baju long-dress warna peach, sedang berteriak dengan air mata yang jatuh dari matanya bagaikan hujan._
_Didepan anak itu, ia melihat dua orang laki-laki, yang pertama terlihat sekitar umur 9-10 tahun dan satu lagi sekitar 11-12 tahun. Mereka berdua hanya tersenyum dan berjalan menjauhi anak perempuan itu._
'_Aniiyue!! Aniiyueeeee!!!!'_
_Seketika itu juga warna merah menyelubungi tubuh kedua anak laki-laki tersebut dan mereka terjatuh._
'_Aniiyue... Anii... ANIIYUEEEEE!!!'_
Kirito segera membuka matanya. Sekujur tubuhnya berkeringat, nafasnya tidak teratur, titik-titik air jatuh dari matanya. _Mimpi... mimpi buruk..._, pikir Kirito, ia memutar kepalanya ke samping dan melihat jarum jam.
03.15
Beberapa jam lagi dia harus bangun untuk bersiap-siap pergi ke bandara.
Kirito menghela nafas, mencoba untuk membuat nafasnya teratur lagi.
~blank~
**Pukul 05.30**
"Rin bangun!" kata seseorang dari luar kamar sambil mengetuk pintu.
"Emm... apa si?? Gua cape mau tidur ma!! Udah tau semalam gua begadang namatin Final Fantasy!!" teriak Rin.
"Hei!! Bangun nak! Temanmu datang nih!! Bukannya kau pergi ke jepang pagi ini?!"
?!
"Oh iya!! *sambil bergegas bangun* Suruh temenku masuk ma!"
Pintupun terbuka dan di sana terlihat mamanya Rin yang sudah berkacak pinggang dan ada seorang perempuan yang sudah berdandan rapi (padahal masih pagi, rajin ya. Maaf jangan tersinggung)
"Ya ampun!! Kamu belum beresin barang?! Gimana sih? Ayo cepat bangun dan bereskan barangmu dan mandi!!" perintah mama Rin.
"Roger… Mom keluar aja… entar gua beresin dengan cepat, ok?"
"*sigh* baiklah..cepat ya! Nanti mama antar pakai mobil," berbalik kearah Ai, "Ai maaf ya kau harus melihat hal ini... tante heran kamu dan Kir bisa tahan temenan dengan dia."
"KA-SAN!!! Jangan ngomong yang aneh-aneh!!"teriak Rin dengan kesal (gak sopan banget ya XP) dan Ai hanya bisa bersweatdropped.
"Ok, ok mama keluar dulu. Ai, tante keluar dulu ya, anggap saja rumah sendiri," kata mama Rin dengan senyum lembut.
"Iya, tante," balas Ai dengan senyum.
Mama Rin keluar, setelah itu Ai hanya menaruh kopernya dan berbicara kepada Rin, "Rin katanya janjian jam setengah enam udah siap-siap! Masa belum beresin barang si?"
"Hehe... gomen, gomen. Gua lupa keasyikan maen FF," Rin bangun lalu pergi kearah lemari mengambil koper dan memilih baju yang akan dibawa. "Gua bantu deh," kata Ai "Arigatou. By the way lu gak ngantuk?" tanya Rin sambil memasukkan beberapa baju ke dalam koper.
"Yare, yare... kan lu yang minta gua datang jam segini jadi gua udah siap-siap!gak kayak lu! Bukannya gua udah bilang tadi?!"
"Oh iya!! Gua lupa! Hehe.."
~blank~
Setelah sarapan steak (gilee sarapan aja steak!)di rumah Rin, mereka berangkat ke bandara. Selama dalam perjalanan mamanya Rin hanya berceramah terus sedangkan Rin hanya main game DS dan tidak mendengarkannya. Ai hanya mendengar lagu di headphonenya. Sementara itu Kir sudah sampai di bandara dan menunggu dengan kesal sambil membaca buku.
**Bandara Soekarno-Hatta**
_Rin sama Ai mana sih?!!_, pikir Kirito yang sebal.
Seminggu kemarin, Rin menelepon Kirito yang sedang membereskan baju-bajunya.
~Flasback~
_KRRRIIIIINNNGGG!!!!_
"_Shishiten desu"_
'_Kir!!!! Gue ama Ai-chan bakalan pergi ke Jepang!!!!'_
"_... Hah?? Gue yang dapet beasiswa lho, bukan elu sama Ai,"_
'_Siapa bilang gue ama Ai dapet beasiswa, hah? Orang elo yang ada __**mission**__ disana bukan gue ama Ai-chan!'__ kata Rin sambil menekan kata 'mission'_
"_Iya makanya itu, maksud lo apa? Elo ama Ai-chan pergi ke Jepang?"_
'_Gue dapet tiket lotere abis belanja -biasalah beli makan malam_(seharga 1 miliar??)_dan gue coba loterenya. Sekali-kali gitu'_
"_Truz? Dapet bola warna apa?" tanya Kirito yang akhirnya menyenderkan tubuhnya ke dinding_
'_Tentu aje EMAS!!!'__ teriak Rin sampai membuat kuping Kirito agak budeg_
"_Keuntungan lo emang gak ada taranya. Makanya gue udah bilang, lo lebih cocok jadi Fortune Arcana daripada Star Arcana," kata Kirito dengan senyum kecil_
_Rin, bisa ngetahui bahwa Kirito sedang tersenyum kecil, hal ini dapat diketahui dari suara Kirito. Dan Rinpun juga tersenyum kecil._
'_Hei, gue dari sananya emang Star Arcana. Emang dari sana udah kayak begini'_
"_Iye, gue tau. Jadi elu bakal pergi sama gue gitu?"_
'_Yup! Nanti kita ketemuan di Bandara ya!!'_
"_Okey, gue pergi jem 5 lho. Berangkat jam 8"_
'_Sama donk! Nanti kite jalan-jalan yuk!! Gue mau ke Inaba! Menurut berita ada 'itu' di Inaba... Tapi siapa tau salah total!'_
"_Lo mau kerja ato jalan-jalan sih?"_
'_Dua-duanya! Gue suka sama kerjaan gue sih!'__ tawa Rin_
"_Okey, okey. Kita ketemuan aja lagi nanti"_
'_Wakarimasta! Ja ne!'_
~End of Flashback~
Kirito menghela nafasnya. _Udah sejeman gue tunggu, kemane aja sih thu anak?!_
"Kir!!"
Kir memutar tubuhnya 90˚ dan menemukan Rin serta Ai yang ngos-ngosan abis lari-larian. "Lama amat sih lo?!" teriak Kir yang sebal "Sorry," kata Rin, Kir tersenyum kecil melihat mereka berdua yang ngos-ngosan.
"Udah, sekarang kita ke pesawat aja!" ajak Kir dan mereka berjalan menuju pesawat.
~blank~
Kir : Ini chapter 1 nya!!
Ai : Semoga kalian suka! :)
Rin : Abis ini ada acara baru!
Ai : ? Apa itu?
Kir : Oh, itu adala-
Rin : RIN RIN DANGEROUS INTERVIEW!!!! (kyk di KHR)
~blank~
jeng jeng jeng *critany musik tema Rin Rin Dangerous Interview*
Rin: hai minna-san sekarang waktunya--
Kir & Ai: Rin Rin Dangerous Interview!
Rin: KIR!!!!AI!!!!!INI ACARA GUE!!!
Kir: bodo amat, gue sama Ai ambil tempatnya Reborn (klo gk tw silakan nton katekyo hitman reborn! XD)
Ai: udahlah..lu pada jangan cek-cok kayak yosuke n chie!
Rin: yang ada lu berdua tiap hari di sekolah cek-cok kali!!
Sutradara: Oi kalian jangan menjadikan acara ini jadi urusan pribadi dong!
Rin: Ah! gomen! Baiklah kali ini kami akan membahas tentang keluarga! etto..kluarga gue terdiri dari ayah,ibu,1 kakak laki-laki, dan saya..pembantu saya gak diitung kan? soalnya saya gak apal desu..
Kir: Rin! jangan nyerocos dong! sekarang gue..gue..*SFX: lagu sdih dh*
Ai: Kir..kalo lu gak mau ceritain gak usah dipaksakan kok..Kalo gitu gue! Kluarga gue terdiri dr ayah, ibu, adik laki-laki dan gue!hehe..
Rin: Baiklah acara hari ini sampai di sini dulu ya!! Kalo gak nanti jd bocoran cerita! Bye minna-san! *lambai tangan*
Ai: bye al!*wave hand*
Kir:eh!! Gue gimana!?
Rin: Alah! lain kali aja!!
sutradara: Ok! Cut! (mungkin lain kali gue ajak si kuma)
BZZZZZZZTTT
~blank~
Kir, Rin & Ai : RnR!!
3. Chapter 2 : The Arrival
Rin : HELLO, MINNA-SAN!!!
Kir : Rin lagi hyper, jangan dipedulikan.
Ai : Nah, saat yang kalian tunggu-tunggu sudah tiba! Cha—
Rin : Charas P4 keluar!! KELUAR!!!!!
Kir : Di chapter ini characters dari P4 akan keluar untuk menghibur kalian!! ;)
Ai : Sudah, gak usah basa-basi lagi! Disclaimernya mana?!
Rin : DISCLAIMER:KAMI TIDAK MEMILIKI PERSONA ATAUPUN CHARACTER-CHARACTERNYA YANG CUAAKEP, KEREN & LAIN"!
Kir : Kami juga gak memiliki Bandara Narita, itu seutuhnya milik Jepang ataupun food court di Junes itu milik Atlus (kali?)
Ai : Selamat membaca!
* * *
**CROSSOVER PERSONA**
**Chapter 2 : The Arrival**
* * *
**In somewhere else**
Di tempat itu terlihat seorang laki-laki dan seorang… tidak... sebuah monster besar…
"Teman-teman… aku... aku... tidak akan menyia-nyiakan pengorbanan kalian!!!"
TRIIIIINGGGG!!
Muncul sebuah cahaya yang menyelimuti tubuh laki-laki tersebut. "Izanagi no Ookami!!" teriak anak tersebut sambil meremas kartu dan keluar sebuah makhluk aneh.
* * *
Sebuah pesawat jet sedang terbang diatas laut, melewati beberapa pulau bahkan negara dengan kecepatan tinggi (sengaja, biar perjalanan cepet). Di pesawat jet itu tertulis 'TIKI' (kantor pos??), bukan, bukan, Garuda. (bener gak sih namany? Authoress jarang ke bandara)
Di dalamnya, karakter-karakter kita sedang duduk. Kir duduk dekat jendela, Ai tengah dan Rin paling pinggir. Pesawat itu termasuk kelas atas, kursinya ada TV, ada bar (blum cukup umur...), bahkan pesawat ini ada tiga lantai. (terlalu mewah buat Garuda ya? Biarlah)
Lantai pertama adalah tempat duduk penumpang, kedua adalah ruang makan(gile!) dan yang terakhir adalah tempat penyimpanan barang bawaan para penumpang. Dan saat ini karakters kita sedang bersantai, menunggu pesawat ini sampai ke Bandara Narita.
Ketiga cewek itu sedang melakukan hal-hal mereka sendiri.
"Hiks… Hiks... Hiks... Ai, Kir…gue takut naik pesawat…," tangis Rin "Cup, cup," kata Ai yang mencoba menengkan Rin, "Nanti gua kasih permen deh jadi nanti telinga lu gak sakit." "BAKA!! AI WA HIDOI!! (± artinya:Bodoh!! Ai jahat!)" teriak Rin, ia merasa dihina.
Kir menghela nafasnya dalam-dalam. Ia merasa pusing, mendengar teriakkan Rin yang gede, "Rin, kalo lu takut naik pesawat... mendingan tadi lu gak usah ikut. Ato enggak lo naik lewat kapal aja. Makan waktu cuma beberapa bulan ato tahun kok," kata Kir yang kemudian memandang ke luar jendela.
Cahaya matahari menyilaukan mata Kir yang tengah melihat keluar. Awan terliat empuk dimata Kir, nampak seperti gulali yang tengah melayang-layang di udara. Tentu saja ini awan bukan gulali.
Rin merengek, "Heeh… gak mungkin!! Kan makan waktu lama terus, gue gak bisa berenang kalau naik kapal laut! Lagian ini kesempatan langka tau!! Disana gua mau beli kimono sama kaset Ar Tonelico III yang gak mau diimpor ke Indonesia!!!" Kir sweatdropped mendengar pernyataan itu dari Rin.
"Ya udah, lu mendingan tutup mata atau gak tidur aja... Lo bikin malu tau, teriak dari tadi...," kata Kir karena dia juga mau membaca buku dengan tenang.
"Mana bisa!? Ini tuh menyangkut hidup ato mati tau!! Gimana…gimana kalo ni pesawat jatuh? Mampuslah gua!" protes Rin.
_Kalau ngomong kayak gitu, emang lu kira kita gak bakalan ikut jato??_
"Ckckck, udah udah... Rin bisa diem gak? Gua mau baca komik! Lagian jadi orang jangan berpikir pesimis!!" protes Ai dengan nada tegas
"…baiklah...," Rin memejamkan mata, bergerak sedikit dikursi untuk mendapat gaya duduk yang pewe, lalu lama-lama dia dibawa ke dunia mimpi oleh Luca.
* * *
**Pukul 10.55, di Bandara Narita**
Bandara Narita yang merupakan salah satu bandara utama negara Jepang selain Bandara Haneda, terlihat sangat ramai. Ada bermacam orang yang mengisi penuh Bandara Narita ini. Ada orang Jepang(negara sendiri), India, Arab, Hong Kong, bule dan juga ada Indonesia.
Kir, Rin dan Ai baru saja sampai di Bandara melalui pesawat terbang milik Garuda.
"KYAAA!!!! Akhirnya kita nyampe juga!!! Kita ke Inaba yuk!!" ajak Rin
_Gilee ni anak... baru aja nyampe masa langsung naik kereta ke Inaba??_, pikir Kir dan Ai dalam hati.
"Hayakuu~ onegai…" kata Rin sambil memasang muka memelas
"Gimana, Kir? Gua sih oke-oke aja, soalnya gua gak ada **mission** di sini. Elo kan ada mission di Tokyo," kata Ai. Kir menghela nafas untuk keberapa kalinya ia tidak tahu, _...Sepertinya hari ini gue ngehela nafas melulu_, pikir Kir, _...Mungkin hobi baru kalau ada Rin sama Ai..._
"Baiklah gue ikut lu deh...," kata Kir dengan pasrah "HAH?! Yang bener lu Kir?" seru Rin yang ngerasa terharu, "KYAA!! Arigatou gozaimasu!! You're the best!" teriak Rin sambil memeluk Kir dan mengelus-elus kepalanya dengan dada Kir.
Kir menghela nafas dalam hati, "Ya, itu karena gua khawatir sama lu berdua kok," balas Kir dengan senyum dan melepaskan dirinya dari pelukkan Rin yang mematikan (Rin jadi Rise!!)
"Kalo begitu gue harus telepon Kanzaki-sensei dulu. Gue harus kasih tau ada perubahan rencana, lu berdua tunggu sebentar," kata Kir sambil mengeluarkan hape BBnya (ini bukan 'Bau Badan' tapi 'BlackBerry'. Truz, critanya Kir ud bli nomor hp di jepang sm si kanzaki sensei)
"Oke deh!" kata Ai dan Rin dengan gembira.
* * *
Kir, Rin dan Ai sampai di Inaba setelah naik kereta dari Tokyo.
"Uwaa…!! Inaba udaranya sejuk sekali..! Beda dengan kota!" seru Ai yang menghirup nafas sedalam-dalamnya, menggunakan udara Residu, eh apa Komplementer atau Suplementer...? Kok jadi biologi sih??
"Betul juga…! Tapi beberapa bulan yang lalu kan terjadi kabut aneh di sini... Kok sekarang udah kayak gak terjadi apa-apa, tidak ada aura aneh-aneh lagi... I wonder why? What do you think?" tanya Rin kepada Kir dan Ai.
"Oh, berita yang itu! Iya gue juga liat! Eh…tu-tunggu..jangan bilang...-" kalimat Ai terputus karena Kir ngomong
"Sepertinya memang karena 'itu'...," kata Kir dengan nada berat.
"Eh!? Tapi kalo begitu berarti ada yang kayak kita juga dong?!" tanya Rin.
"Mungkin saja... Sekarang sudah tidak ada aura aneh-aneh lagi bukan? Ini adalah sebuah bukti ada orang seperti **kita**..."
Terjadi keheningan beberapa saat, masing-masing berpikir dengan serius sampai Ai membuka pembicaraan, "Akh…! Sudahlah tidak usah dipikirkan! Yuk ke Junes!! Kita beli barang-barang keperluan kita di situ dan sekalian makan steak! Katanya sih enak-enak lho!"
"Etto… Junes di mana ya? Mank lu tau di mana tempatnya?" tanya Rin
"Akh!? Gu-gua gak tau.." kata Ai. Kir dan Rin hanya bisa bersweatdropped ria mendengar perkataan Ai.
Kir menghela nafas, _...Sumpah ini hobby gue yang baru kalau ada mereka..._, pikir Kir dan ia berkata, "Gua udah mengira hal ini bakalan terjadi... jadi gua udah bawa peta kok." Dan Kirpun mengeluarkan peta dari kontang tasnya.
"HAH?! Kau hebat banget Kir! Gua salut punya temen kayak lu!!" kata Ai dan Rin bersamaan. Dan Kir hanya sweatdroop, _...Orangkan emang udah bisa memprediksi kayak begini donk..._
* * *
Telihat 8 orang anak sekitar SMA berjalan di Junes. "Hah... akhirnya pertempuran sudah berakhir ya partner...," kata anak laki-laki berambut light brown "Yah... Itu semua tidak bisa kulakukan tanpa bantuan kalian," kata anak laki-laki dengan rambut silver yang mempunyai potongan rambut seperti mangkok.
"Kali ini benar-benar berakhir ya…?" tanya anak perempuan berambut panjang dan memakai bando warna merah.
.... Terjadi keheningan beberapa saat
"Hiks…ukh…SOUJI-SENPAI JANGAN PERGI MENINGGALKAN RISE!!!" teriak seorang anak yang dikuncir dua berwarna merah sambil memeluk anak rambut silver itu yang bernama souji teriak.
"H-hei!! Rise jangan memelukku di depan umum!" seru anak berambut silver itu dengan sebuah blush diwajahnya "Sensei... Teddie juga gak mau kalo sensei pergi, kuma… HWAANGG!!!" seru Teddie yang juga ikut-kutan memeluk Souji.
"Tapi bukan berarti Seta-senpai akan pergi selamanya kan? Kita masih bisa bertemu...," kata seorang anak yang memakai topi biru.
"Kau betul…" kata semuanya.
* * *
"Wah ini Junes? Kita langsung ke food court yuk!! Gua udah laper!" kata Rin "Ya ampun lu childish banget sih, Rin?! Tapi gua juga udah laper sih... hehe...," kata Ai "Ya udah kita langsung ke food court," kata Kir.
**In foodcourt**
"Pilihannya disini banyak ya," kata Kir sambil melihat stand-stand di foodcourt. Ada banyak pilihan makanan disana seperti; sushi, steak, okonomiyaki, chawan mushi and etc etc. Sayangnya, bukannya memilih makan khas Jepang malah milih western food. (buat apa dateng ke Nihon klau cuma makan western food?)
Saat mereka mau memesan makanan, muka Rin bersemu merah."Rin, ada apa?" tanya Ai "Mukamu merah. Lu demam?" tanya Kir "Bu-bukan..." jawabnya singkat "Mual? Lu hamil?? Sama siapa? Kapan elu hamilnya? Kembar berapa? Ato tunggal? Gendernya apa?" tanya Ai bertubi-tubi.
"BUKAN DODOL!!!" teriak Rin.
"Jadi apa?" tanya Ai dan Kir bersamaan, tanda tanya keluar dikepala mereka.
"... I... Itu liat sekumpulan anak itu deh... Cowo yang pake topi biru itu cakep ya!!" seru Rin langsung semangat "Deketin yuk! Mungkin inilah yang namanya _Love at Firstsight_!"
Rinpun berjalan menuju sekumpulan anak itu. "O...-Oi Rin!" teriak Kir dan Ai yang mengejar Rin.
"Ini Gordon Blue, Chicken Steak dan Fish Grilled-nya sudah jadi, Non???" kata si penjual stand steak.
* * *
Rin ngebut ke sekumpulan anak itu, Ai dan Kir hanya bisa mengikutinya. Biasa, waktu Rin lagi hyper pasti dhe larinya cepatnya bukan main.
"Hai... Boleh kenalan gak?" Rin langsung menyapa anak-anak tersebut. (Dalam bahasa Jepang tentunya)
"E-eh... watashitachi ka? (± artinya:E-Eh kami?)" tanya anak laki laki berambut light brown.
"Woi! Tunggu!! Itu gak sopan tau!!" omel Kir (ini bahasa indo), "Gomenne! Maafkan ketidak sopanan kami!" kata Kir yang meminta maaf sambil membungkukkan tubuhnya. (ini jepang)
"Maaf kami-" kalimat anak laki laki berambut silver tersebut dihentikan oleh anak laki laki berambut light brown tadi.
"Hei! Souji, lihat mereka semua cantik-cantik tau!! Ini kesempatan gua biar dapet pacar!"
"Ya udah, tapi gua gak mau tau!" kata anak rambut silver itu sambil menghela nafas
"Maaf tadi ada kesalahan! Hehe... perkenalkan lady namaku-" kata kata anak tersebut terhenti ketika Rin menuju cowo yang memakai topi biru.
"Ukh...*shocked* tujuannya bukan gua ya..?" kata anak itu lagi.
"Watashi no namae wa Aizawa rin desu! Aku tinggal di Indonesia! Sekarang sedang liburan! Anatano namae wa?" tanya Rin
_Nih anak gak sopan banget_, piker Ai dan Kir dalam hati.
"Shirogane Naoto desu, yoroshiku, (± artinya:Namaku Shirogane Naoto, salam kenal)" kata anak tersebut.
"Naoto-kun ya... Nama yang cocok untuk cowo cool sepertimu!" seru Rin.
_Ya ampun langsung manggil nama depannya!_, piker Ai dan Kir.
Semua anak dalam kelompok tersebut langsung bersweatdropped ria, "Emm… anu... Aizawa-san... Naoto-kun itu perempuan...," kata anak perempuan berambut bob.
"Wah, Naoto wajahmu memang bisa menipu ya," kata anak perempuan yang memakai bando warna merah.
... ... Perlu beberapa detik Rin, Ai dan Kir menyerap pernyataan tadi... ...
"WHAT??!!!" teriak Rin, Ai dan Kir bersamaan.
* * *
Ai : Rin ternyata seorang _yuri _toh...
Rin : KEPALA LO!!! Gue gak suka yuri dan gue bukan yuri!
Kir : Buat kalian yang bertanya-tanya dengan wajah kami-
Ai : Muka saya itu yang paling cantik dan menawan dari mereka berdua. Karna dari kami bertiga, saya doank yang paling normal *sombong mode : on*
Rin : Eh, readers gak usah dengerin Ai! Dia itu cuma karakter buatan yang gak nyata!! *sebel* Kalau gue ama Kir kan ada di dunia asli! (paling cuma beda nama)
Kir : Jangan dengerin mereka berdua. Lalu, ini profile kami!
* * *
Shishiten Kirito :
Arcana : Moon Arcana. Kebiasaan : bengong klau aja waktunya, suka menyendiri tapi pasti akan selalu bersama Rin dan Ai, tidur pas pelajaran. Hobby : nyanyi, gambar" gak jelas, tidur, main game, denger lagu, baca komik (biasanya berbau yaoi/comedy/romance/action/mystery/adventure). Makan + minuman fav : steamed bun, milk and mineral water. Berat badan : 45 kg. Tinggi badan : 178 cm. Warna mata : merah darah. Rambut : hitam pekat. Alat bertarung : Suara. Cara manggil persona : Suara. Suka sama : Seta Souji-kun (tapi gak mau nyatain perasaanny..) Pake kacamata waktu belajar, lain dari itu pake kontak lens warna hitam
Aizawa Rin :
Arcana : Star Arcana. Kebiasaan : ngigau wkt tdr & tdrny berantakan. Hobby : maen game, nyanyi, denger lagu, gambar. Makan + minuman fav: Takoyaki, mie, orange juice, milk. Berat badan : 45 kg. Tinggi badan : 170 cm. Warna mata : warna mata sama kayak Kairi dari KH. Rambut : Light brown, sedikit bergelombang. Alat bertarung : Kuas(?). Cara manggil persona : Keluarin kartu trus ayunin kuas ke kartu dan persona muncul! (sama kyk cara P4). Suka sama : Naoto (tapi shock gara" dia cewe) lalu suka sm Ken (yg kecil itu lho..). Juga pake kacamata klo belajar doank
Ryouma Aiko :
Arcana : Lovers Arcana. Kebiasaan : Suka nyari cowo cakep walaupun udah pny org yg disukai. Hobby : Dengerin lagu, nyanyi, shopping (terutama baju) & relaxing. Makan + minuman fav : Sushi and Coca-cola. Berat badan : 45 kgTinggi badan : 168,5 cm. Warna mata : Light Grey. Rambut : Light Blue. Alat bertarung : Pistol. Cara manggil persona : Tembak pistol ke kepala (sama kyk cara P3). Suka sama: Arisato Minato. Gak pake apa"
* * *
Kir : Muka saya diambil dari Kirito, chara _Flame of Recca_ dari group _Shishiten _(nama Kirito kedengeran keren, makanya Authoress memakai nama itu)
Rin : Wajah saya deikit mirip Rise tapi walau saya juga dikuncir 2, tidak seluruh rambut saya kuncir 2. Hanya sebagian kecil!
Ai : Wajah -keren- milikku ini lumayan standar. Pony rata dan panjangnya sekitar pundak -paling cakep kan? *masih dalam sombong mode : on*
* * *
Rin : Times for "Rin Rin Dangerous Interview!" desu~ Dengan saya—
Ai : Bersama saya Ai dan..
Kir : Saya Kir!!
Rin : Eh gue?!
Ai & Kir : Lu gak diperlukan!!
Rin : *shocked*EEHHHHHHHHHH????!!! HIDOII!!!!
Sutradara : Oi!! Lanjut!! Kalau mulai berantem lagi, gajinya saya potong setengah!!
Rin : Ah baik! Etto... mari kita membahas mengapa kita namanya jepang! *ngasih mike ke kir*
Kir : Gue yang jelasin? *Rin and Ai nodded*
Kir : Alright, sebenarnya kami lahir di jepang tapi kalau saya karena ada urusan keluarga jadi ke Indonesia...
Rin : Kalo me katanya untuk menambah wawasan... terus karena jadi betah di Indonesia... tinggal di sini dhe~
Ai : Hmm... kalo gua sama dengan Rin... Ganti topik dong!!
Rin : Hai! Oke... kalo gitu... nyamo~ saya dan Kir adalah _Yaoi Fangirls_!!
Ai : Kok jadi _Yaoi_!? Gak ada topik yang lebih bagus?! *Ai tidak dipedulikan*
Rin : Lalu dengan kata lain—
Kir : Kami adalah seorang _FUJOSHI_!!! *bangga*
Kir : *menjawab pertanyaan Ai* Gak ada!! *sparkled eyes* Ini udah mantap Ai!! Kenapa lu gak coba baca komik yaoi?!
Ai : Eh... gak niat... lagian aneh masa _guy x guy_ sih?! It's disgusting!! I hate it!
Kir : Disgusting?! Daripada cowo korea yang semuanya cuma operasi plastik! Kecakepan mereka itu dibuat! Dibuat!!
Ai : Cowo korea itu gak operasi plastik!! Yang operasi itu S—
Rin : Masih mending daripada _yuri_!
Kir : She's right! Hei, hei, Rin menurut lu Riku sama Sora dari KH, pasangan yang cocok bukan?
Rin : Yup! Tapi gue masih bimbang soalnya gue juga suka liat Sora sama Kairi... By the way mnurut lu Sora bagusan _Uke_ ato _Seme_?
Kir: Yah ileh, Rin! Muka Sora itu idah keliatan Uke! Ya pasti lebih pantes jadi Uke-nya Riku!!
Rin: Emank sih... Riku juga lebih bagusan jadi Seme
Ai: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT??!!! *stressed*
Sutradara: Ok! Cut! (Kir sama Rin kok ngomongnya jadi melenceng banget ye…)
BZZZZZT
* * *
Kir, Rin & Ai : Jangan lupa RnR!! ;)
4. Chapter 3 : Small Talk
Ai : Good day to you all, Readers! :)
Rin : Berjumpa lagi dengan kami!
Kir : Pembuat **Crossover Persona** dan **Games**!
Bertiga : Hanya ingin bilang...
Rin : Disclaimer:Kami tidak memiliki Persona 3 ataupun 4
Ai : Aku hanya mempunyai lkaset game Persona 3, Rin punya kaset game Persona 3, Persona 3:Fes, Persona 4 dan-
Kir : Aku tidak memiliki kaset" gameny tapi punya banyak doujinshi tentang Persona 3 & 4!! (terutama yaoi! *grin*)
Bertiga : S'lamat membaca!!
* * *
**Crossover Persona**
**Chapter 3 : Small Talk**
* * *
_Kaget_, itulah perasaan Rin.
_Setengah mati_, itulah keadaan Rin sekarang.
_Sweatdrop_, itulah yang dilakukan oleh anggota I.T saat melihat 3 orang cewe yang kaget itu.
_Nao... Naoto-kun... itu... itu... cewek...?!!!!_, pikir Rin, yang masih setengah mati kaget setelah mengetahui bahwa Naoto adalah cewe.
"...dak..."
"Eh?"
"TIDAK MUNGKIN!!!" teriak Rin, tak percaya.
"Kamu lebih kayak cowok!! Benerkan Ai?!! Kir?!! Cowok tulen dan cakep!!!!" teriak Rin, tangannya bergerak-greak diudara (pake indo).
Anggota I.T hanya bersweatdrop ria melihat kelakuan Rin.
"Rin!! Sadarkan dirimu!! Masih ada cowok lain!!!" seru Kir yang berusaha menenangkan Rin.
"Tidak! Tidak mungkin!!!" teriaknya.
Lalu tiba-tiba sebuah lampu neon muncul di kepala Rin. Iapun tertawa licik, yang lain hanya bersweatdrop ria melihat kelakuan Rin.
"Fufufu," tawa Rin, "Aku akan buktikan bahwa Naoto-kun itu bukan cewek..., fufufu..."
Ai dan Kir kaget melihat perubahan kelakuan Rin. Yang lain hanya merinding.
Rin mendekati Naoto...
"Naoto-kun...," katanya dengan nada menyeramkan.
"A-a.. apa mau mu?" tanya Naoto, bulu kuduknya berdiri.
_Ja... jangan-jangan si Rin mau..._, pikir Ai dan Kir, sadar apa yang mau dilakukan Rin.
Rin semakin mendekat, tangan kirinya menuju dada Naoto dan tangan satunya laginya menuju bagian bawah Naoto. Kedua tangan itu melayang-layang mendekati Naoto dan Rin mengeluarkan aura hitam.
"Fufufu...," tawa Rin.
"Ja-jangan...-" kata-kata Naoto dihentikan oleh teriakan Ai.
"RIN!!! Jangan lakukan!!! Elu bisa...-" dan kata-kata Aipun dihentikan oleh Kanji.
"HEI!!! MAU ELO APA SIH?!!! GANGU...-" teriakkan Kanji terhenti ketika Kir memukul kepala Rin ke tanah.
DDDDUUUAAAAAAAKKKKKK!!!
"Gomen..., Rin memang kadang kayak begini...," kata Kir yang malu dan masih menahan kepala Rin di tanah.
Semua bersweatdrop kecuali Ai yang menghela nafas, merasa lega bahwa aksi Rin terhentikan.
* * *
"Saya benar-benar minta maaf," kata Kir yang terus saja membungkukan tubuhnya, "Rin kadang memang suka berlaku tidak sopan."
"Tidak apa-apa," kata Naoto "Naoto-chan..., sorry ya... aku lepas kendali tadi...," kata Rin yang merasa bersalah, terlihat tanda 'x' berwarna putih besar dikepala Rin.
"Naoto sudah memaafkan kelakuan Aizawa-san kok, jadi kamu tidak usah terus membungkukkan tubuhmu..., er..." kata laki-laki rambut silver itu yang bingung mau bilang apa, karena ia belum tau nama mereka kecuali Aizawa.
"Kirito, Shishiten Kirito," kata Kir yang sudah tidak membungkukkan tubuhnya lagi.
"Souji, Seta Souji," kata laki-laki rambut silver itu sambil mengulurkan tangannya, Kirpun mengambil tangannya dan mereka berjabat tangan.
_Tangannya... hangat... dan halus... seperti... Aniiyue..._, pikir Kirito. Disaat yang bersamaan, perasaannya menjadi tak enak.
_Kalungku... Jangan-jangan... Seta-san itu... Kalau begitu mereka semua juga..._
Kirito segera melepaskan tangannya, "Ini Ryouma Aiko," katanya sambil menunjuk ke Ai, "Hallo," kata Ai dengan senyum.
"Hanamura Yosuke," kata laki-laki light brown itu.
"Satonaka Chie," kata cewek berambut bob.
"Amagi Yukiko," kata cewek berbando merah itu.
"Tatsumi Kanji," kata seorang laki-laki yang terlihat seperti anak berandalan.
"Kujikawa Rise," kata seorang cewek yang dikuncir dua warna merah.
"Teddie! Kuma!" seru cowok bishounen yang berambut pirang itu.
"Kalian sudah tau siapa aku," kata Naoto dengan cool.
* * *
"Jadi kalian pergi jalan-jalan ke sini?" tanya Yosuke "Iya," jawab Rin dan Ai singkat "Aku kesini bukan untuk jalan-jalan tapi untuk sekolah disini selama setahun," kata Kir. Mereka semua sedang duduk di foodcourt Junes, masing-masing dengan makanan sendiri.
"Sekolah? Di Inaba?" tanya Chie "Tidak, di Tokyo," jawab Kir sambil memotong steaknya yang baru saja mereka tinggalkan di stand steak. "Orang tuamu kerja di Tokyo?" tanya Naoto "Tidak," Kir hanya menggeleng kepalanya, "Seluruh keluargaku meninggal saat aku berumur sekitar 4-5 tahun. Aku dapat beasiswa."
Semua kecuali Rin dan Ai, kaget mendengarnya. "Maaf, aku tidak tahu...," kata Naoto "Tidak, wajar saja kalian tidak tau. Kita baru bertemu," kata Kir dengan senyuman yang kelihatan sedih.
Semua terdiam...
Dan Kiritopun memulai pembicaraan, "Kalau boleh tau," katanya dengan nada penasaran, "Kami dengar dari berita bahwa di Inaba sering berkabut..." "!" Semua anggota I.T terlihat kaget.
"Iya..., ada apa dengan itu?" tanya Yukiko
"Tidak," kata Kir yang menggelengkan kepalanya, "Ada rumor di negara kami..."
"Rumor itu seperti ini..."
"_Siapa yang melihat dirinya di TV saat tengah malam... akan terserap dalam TV dan tidak akan bisa keluar selamanya..."_
Semuanya terdiam, _Apa yang maksud lo, Kir?!_, pikir Rin dan Ai saat mendengar Kir berkata seperti itu, tapi mereka tidak melakukan apa-apa untuk menghentikannya.
_Seperti yang kuduga..._, pikir Kir, ia terseyum dalam hati.
Kir menaruh kedua sikutnya di meja, menumpukan tangannya dan menaruh dagunya di atas tangannya. "Roh mereka akan terserap dan tubuhnya ditinggal. Lalu, entah bagaimana, tubuh yang kosong tanpa rohnya akan terpotong-potong seperti terjadi pembunuhan pada tubuh kosong itu," kata Kir tanpa ragu.
Rin menutup matanya dan berkonsentrasi.
_!_
Segeralah ia membuka matanya penuh dengan rasa kaget.
_Jadi... mereka semua disini sama seperti kita?!!_, pikir Rin yang kaget setelah membaca pikiran Kir.
_Bagaimana Kir bisa ta...-_
_!_
_Jangan-jangan waktu bersalaman dengan Seta-san!! Kalung Kir pasti memberi tau..._
_Kau sudah sadar Rin?_, sebuah pikiran memasuki kepala Rin. Ia melihat kearah Kir yang sedang melihatnya, terdapat sebuah pandangan senang yang terlihat jahat diwajahnya.
_Kir... bermaksud menggali misteri ini dari mereka?!!_, pikir Rin.
"Jadi...," Kir mengembalikan pandangannya ke arah semua anggota I.T, "... Apa rumor itu benar?"
"... Shishiten-san, apa berita tentang kabut di Inaba benar sampai ke Indonesia? Menurut saya, sebuah kabut yang tiba-tiba muncul memang aneh. Tapi, tidak mungkin dengan keanehan seperti ini bisa sampai ke negara lain, atau bahkan sampai di negara anda," kata Naoto.
Kir terseyum licik dibelakang tumpukan tangannya, "Sebenarnya... Shirogane-kun, berita ini tidak sampai di negara kami... tapi kami bisa mengetahuinya melalui internet. Disana banyak yang membicarakan tentang kabut di Inaba."
"Maka dari itu, kami bisa tau tentang kabut di Inaba. Walaupun tidak semua orang di negara kami peduli dengan hal sepele seperti ini...," kata Kir.
"Kalau begitu, dapat saya beri tau bahwa kabut di Inaba sudah hilang," kata Naoto "Oh?" kata Kir yang pura-pura kaget, "Boleh saya tau bagaimana kabut itu bisa hilang?"
!!
_Rin..._, pikiran Kir memasuki kepala Rin, _Kalau elu gak mau bantuin gue buat cari tau... Gue gak bermasalah... Tapi lebih baik sekarang elu baca pikiran mereka._
Rin menghela nafas dalam hati dan mulai berkonsentrasi membaca pikiran anggota I.T satu persatu.
_Mana mungkin gue kasih tau tentang Izanami!!_
_Apa maksud Shishiten? Mengapa dia ingin sekali tau tentang kabut ini?_
_Shishiten-san sepertinya tau sesuatu..._
_Kenapa nih orang ngotot buat tau tentang kabut sialan itu sih?!!!_
_Kuma..., kenapa sih nih lady? Suka sama misteri ya, kuma???_
_Kalau gue kasih tau... Gua gak mau mereka tau tentang sisi gue yang lain!!_
_Hmm... Rise bingung... kenapa udaranya jadi tegang ya?_
_Ukh... semuanya terlihat serius padahal sudah berakhir... ukh... harus menahan... ketawa... ukh... puuwwhh..._
Rin menyerap semua pikiran anggota I.T, satu persatu ia jelajahi. Dan iapun membuka matanya lagi, Rin telah selesai membaca semua pikiran mereka masing-masing.
"Yah," Kir menyenderkan tubuhnya ke kursi, "Kalau tidak mau memberi tau sih tidak apa-apa..."
"Mengapa kamu mau tau tentang ini?" tanya Souji
Jantung Kir tiba-tiba berdebar dengan kencang. "Sebenarnya... bukan kenapa-napa. Kalian semua sudah tau aku itu yatim piatu bukan?" tanya Kir dan semuanya diam, Kir tersenyum licik dalam hati, "Aku bekerja sebagai penulis novel. Untuk menghidupi diriku."
"Oh! Itu betul!!" seru Rin, "Kir itu bekerja sebagai penulis novel yang handal!!"
_Elo ngedukung gue sekarang?_, pikir Kir, alis matanya naik satu.
"Sekali-sekali gue pingin coba nulis novel misteri. Udah sering tulis novel roman," kata Kir yang kembali makan steaknya yang sekarang sudah menjadi dingin.
"Ooh," kata Yosuke, "Mustinya elo bilang donk, kalau gitu mah gu...-" kata-kata Yosuke terhenti ketika Chie menonjok mukanya.
Dan meledaklah tawa Yukiko.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Yukiko tertawa, ia memegang perutnya dengan satu tangan dan memukul lututnya dengan tangan satunya lagi.
"CHIE!! Elo ngapain nonjok gue?!!!" seru Yosuke sambil memegang bagian wajahnya yang tertonjok.
"Gue cuma ngehentiin elo!! Lo ngomong satu kata lagi aja...!!! Gue bikin elo gantungan konci di tas gue!" serunya marah, tangan kanannya sudah dikepal.
Semua bersweatdrop melihat mereka kecuali Yukiko yang terus ketawa –parahnya makin besar tiap detik- dan Kirito yang hanya tertawa kecil.
* * *
Rin: Hai all my friends in the world!!^^
Ai: Oi! Not all person in this world are your friends Stupid!!
Kir: *sigh* Rin, plis deh jangan lebay..
Rin: gua gak lebay kok! (dlm hati: emangnya gua lebay ya??)
Kir: Oke, *pegang kertas* yang kita bahas—
Rin: KIR!! Itu kertas tentang yang akan dibahas hari ini! *ngambil kertas dr kir* Ehem..kami akan membahas..*shocked* na-NAOTO!! Oi sutradara beneran nih??!!
Sutradara: Iya!! Ini orangnya.. *Naoto berjalan ke arah mereka bertiga*
Naoto: Halo..
Ai & Kir: Hai Shirogane-san^^
Naoto : *Naoto melihat Rin*
SIING…
Rin memandang Naoto dengan mata full of love dan mukanya bersemu merah
Rin: Na..
Naoto: ?
Suddenly Rin lari ke Naoto dan memeluknya
Rin: Naoto-kyun~hehehe..
Naoto: Woi! Le-lepasin gue!
Ai: *sweatdropped* jangan-jangan lu beneran yuri..
JDEER!! Muncul petir di belakang Naoto dan Kir
Kir: RIN!! RIN!! SADAR!! Kita ini Fujoshi!!
Naoto: Gue bukan yuri!!
Rin: Eh~ tapi kan lu mirip cowo tulen..gak apa-apa dong, kita semua kan tomodachi!^^
Kir: (dlm hati: GAWAT!! Tanda-tanda yuri!!gue harus melakukan sesuatu!) Ai ambil gulungan yang ada di meja!! CEPET!!
Ai: Eh? Ah..oke..(dlm hati: kok gue jadi pembantunya sih?!) Ai mengambil gulungan itu dan memberinya ke Kir.
Kir: Rin!! LIHAT INI!!! *ngebuka gulungan itu*
Ternyata..itu poster..
Rin: *gasp* Itu kan poster ukuran Jumbo gambar Sora dan Riku yang yaoi!! KYAA!! MAU!!! *melepaskan pelukan dari Naoto dan langsung ke arah poster*
Naoto: *sigh* Arigatou Shisiten-san *smile*
Kir: *blushed*dlm hati: Kok..gue deg-degan melihat senyum Shirogane-san? Jangan sampe gue jadi yuri..
Ai: Kok acaranya jadi kacau ya..? Sutradara gue bilang acara hari ini sampe di sini dulu aja!
Sutradara: Gue pikir juga gitu..Oke Good job minna!
BZZZT
* * *
Kir : Saya itu bener" pendukung YAOI!! Jadi gak mungkin yuri!!
Ai : Kalau mau salahin orang, salahin Rin. Dia yg ngetik RIN RIN DANGEROUS INTERVIEW
Rin : Ini kan cuma cerita!
Bertiga : RnR!!! :)
5. Chapter 4 : Tatsumi Port Island
Ai : Haalloo~ Hallo~ Bandung! Ibu kota per-
Rin : Minna-san, sekarang sa-
Kir : Ini chapter 4 dari Crossover Persona!
Rin : Chapter ini panjang banget dhe!
Kir : Jadi, jangan lupa ambil popcorn waktu liat ini! (?)
Rin : Oh ya, minna-san! Di P3 nama tempatnya Tatsumi Port Island bukan sih??
Kir : Authoress Rin ama Authoress Kir kurang tau kota P3
Ai : Kalau misalnya salah, jangan sungkan tuk kasih tau ya, minna-san! So... selamat membaca~!
* * *
**Crossover Persona**
**Chapter 4 : Tatsumi Port Island**
* * *
Setelah tawaan Yukiko dihentikan Chie, Rin menyadari sesuatu, "Akh..Rise…Rise Kujikawa..."
"Iya, kenapa?" tanya Rise yang masih lengket dengan Souji.
"AAAKHH!!!!" Rin lompat dari kursinya, jari telunjuk kanannya menunjuk ke Rise dan iapun teriak, "Jangan-jangan kau artis Kujikawa Rise yang itu?!"
"Ah, kau tau ya? Apa aku begitu terkenalnya sampai beritanya ke Indonesia?" tanya Rise dengan senyum di wajahnya.
"Tidak, tapi gua tau karena sering liat di Internet dan majalah! Kyaaaa!! Kir, Ai, kita ketemu artis nih!! Kayak mimpi aja!!" teriak Rin dengan senang, _Ketemu artis aja kok lebay amat?!_, pikir Ai dan Kir.
"Hei Yosuke sepertinya anak itu mirip denganmu!" kata Chie.
"U-Ukh jangan samakan gua dengan dia!" kata Yosuke dengan kesal.
"Pfft.." sepertinya Yukiko menahan tawanya.
"Boleh minta tanda tangan gak? Foto bareng yuk!! Semua yang ada di fan group Ar Tonelico sama Vocaloid pasti bakalan jealous sama gue!!!" teriak Rin sambil mengeluarkan handphonenya. Setelah berfoto dengan Rise Rin bertanya, "Kenapa Rise-chan berhenti jadi artis?"
_Masih berani pake name depan?? Nih anak gak tau malu..._, pikir Ai dan Kir
"Ah...itu, aku malas berada di dunia keartisan dan...," Rise melirik ke arah souji, "Karena aku sudah menjadi milik Souji-senpai seutuhnya!" kata Rise dengan gembira, _Tapi gue bakal balik waktu Spring kok!_, pikir Rise. Souji hanya bisa ngeblush. Saat Kir mau bertanya tiba-tiba Souji berbicara, "Akh! Sudah jam segini!! Gua harus pergi nanti keretanya keburu berangkat!" Souji buru-buru berdiri.
"Eh? Seta-san mau ke mana?" tanya Ai.
"Dia mau balik ke Tokyo," kata Yosuke.
"Hah? Bukannya Seta-san tinggal di sini?" tanya Kir.
"Gak... Senpai cuma tinggal satu tahun di sini karena orangtuanya bekerja di luar negri dan hari ini orangtuanya pulang," jelas Naoto dengan padat dan singkat.
"Kir, bukannya kau juga mau balik ke Tokyo?" tanya Rin.
"Iya," Kir berbalik ke arah Souji dan jantungnya kembali berdebar-debar, "Seta-san, kalo gak keberatan boleh kami ikut?"
"Ah... boleh saja," balasnya.
* * *
**In Station**
Di stasiun terlihat seorang laki-laki dewasa dan seorang gadis kecil yang sepertinya sudah menunggu Souji. "Oi, Souji!" seru laki-laki dewasa itu, "Onii-chan!"seru gadis kecil itu juga.
"Etto... mereka siapa?" tanya Rin kepada Naoto (walaupun tau Naoto cewe tapi tetep aja lengket).
"Yang laki-laki itu pamannya Senpai dan yang gadis kecil itu sepupunya," jawab Naoto. Kir, Ai dan Rin hanya bisa ber-Oh-ria. Saat mereka semua sudah menghampiri dua orang tersebut, paman Souji bertanya, "Tiga anak ini siapa?" "Ah, mereka... Kami baru saja bertemu kok," jawab Souji.
Setelah mereka memperkenalkan diri, pamannya juga mengenalkan diri, "Saya Dojima Ryoutaro dan ini putri saya..Ayo perkenalkan dirimu." Anak tersebut yang bersembunyi daritadi di belakang ayahnya bicara, "...Dojima Nanako..." gadis itu ngeblush dan sekarang bersembunyi di belakang 'Onii-chan' kesayangannya.
_Kawai..._, pikir Kir
"Hahaha... Nanako memang malu kalau bertemu dengan orang baru...Ouch!" Nanako menendang kaki ayahnya. Merekapun hanya bisa bersweatdropped.
"Onii-chan! Jangan pergi! Tetaplah di sini!" pinta Nanako sambil menangis.
"Nanako…," Souji tidak tega melihat Nanako menangis.
"Partner... Lain kali ke sini lagi ya! Junes akan selalu ada di sini!" kata Yosuke.
"Seta-kun lain kali kita berlatih bareng lagi ya!" kata Chie.
"Seta-kun lain kali datang ke Amagi Inn ya," Kata Yukiko.
"Senpai terima kasih satu tahun ini ya!" kata Kanji.
"SOUJI-SENPAI!!!JANGAN MENINGGALKAN RISE!!" tangis Rise.
"Sensei, terima kasih! Berkat sensei, Teddie bisa menemukan jati diri Teddie, kuma.." kata Teddie.
Naoto berjalan ke arah Souji, "Souji senpai apa aku ikut bersamamu saja ya?" tanyanya. Yang lain hanya bisa kaget mendengar Naoto berbicara seperti itu. "Naoto! Lu bermaksud mengambil Souji senpai dariku ya?!" tanya Rise "Haha, tidak gua hanya bercanda! Tapi kalo bisa sebenarnya gua mau ikut," katanya lagi.
"Souji kau benar-benar punya teman yang baik di sekelilingmu," kata Dojima. Anggota I.T itupun berfoto untuk kenang-kenangan.
Setelah Souji, Kir, Ai dan Rin masuk ke kereta, teman-temannya Souji mengejar kereta itu dan mengucapkan salam perpisahan sekali lagi. Rin terharu melihat tindakan mereka, "Hiks... seperti di komik dan game aja... ya kan, Ai?" Rin berbalik kearah Ai "Ya... persahabatan itu memang indah ya..," sepertinya Ai juga ikut terharu.
* * *
_We have arrive at Tokyo... Please check your belongings..._
Souji, Kir, Ai dan Rin keluar dari kereta dan menginjakkan kaki mereka di platform stasiun itu.
"Seta-san, disini kita berpisah," kata Kir "Ya...," balas Souji.
"Terima kasih banyak telah membantu kami dan memaafkan kelakuan Rin yang tidak senonoh. Aku harap kita dapat bertemu lagi," kata Kir sambil membungkukkan badannya.
"Tidak usah sampai membungkukkan tubuhmu, Shishiten. Hal itu sudah berlalu, uum... Aku permisi ya, aku harus pergi ke bandara untuk menjemput orang tuaku," kata Souji dan iapun pergi.
"Dah, Souji-kun!!" seru Rin sambil melambaikan tangannya "Sampai berjumpa lagi, Seta-san!" seru Ai yang juga melambaikan tangannya. Kir hanya melihat punggung Souji yang semakin menjauh.
Pemandangan ini mengingatkannya tentang kejadian dimana Aniiyue Kirito pergi meninggalkan dirinya.
_... Aniiyue..._
"...ri..."
_...Aniiyue..._
"KIRITO!!" seru Ai
!
"Apa?!" tanya Kirito yang kaget.
"Lo kenapa sih?!! Bengong aja dari tadi!!" seru Ai.
"... Tidak... hanya berpikir," jawab Kir, pikirannya masih dipenuhi oleh gambaran punggung Souji yang mirip dengan punggung kedua Aniiyue Kirito.
"Sekarang gue mau pergi ke Tatsumi Port Island nih!! Gue beli tiket ya!" seru Ai yang berjalan menuju kasir tapi tiba-tiba lengan bajunya ditarik oleh Kir.
"... Sebelum itu, kita pergi ke apartment gua dulu. Perasaan gua gak enak...," kata Kir dengan mata yang tampak gelisah.
_Si Kir kenapa...?_, piker Ai yang bingung saat melihat Kir yang memiliki mata gelisah itu, _Biasanya dia yang paling... tidak takut..._
**Di Apartment Kirito**
"Jadi ini kamar lo?" tanya Rin sambil melepaskan sepatunya dan Kir hanya menganggukkan kepalanya. Tangannya meraba dinding untuk menyari tombol lampu, lampunya mati.
CLICK!
Cahaya lampu menerangi tempat yang gelap tadi.
_Kecil..._, itulah yang dipikirkan Ai dan Rin saat melihat kamar Kir yang baru.
Apartment Kir memang kecil. Hanya sepetak persegi ukuran 8 m×8 m.
_Sangat kecil..._, pikir Ai dan Rin, maklum, mereka anak orang kaya.
"Gue tau apa yg elu pada pikir," kata Kir.
Tempat itu cuma 5 m×5 m, jadi wajar semua bakal pikir kecil.
Kalian dapat lihat sebuah beranda kecil –buat jemur baju kali- saat masuk dari pintu. Sebelah kiri pintu ada dapur kecil, isinya cuma tempat nyuci piring, microwave, kompor dan lemari es. Di bagian atasnya adalah tempat buat naruh piring, gelas, sendok and etc.
Sebelah kanan pintu adalah kamar mandi kecil. Dari pintu kalian akan melihat sebuat wastafel dan kaca sebelah kirinya ada shower dan diseberangnya adalah toilet.
Sebelah kiri jendela tempat dimana beranda itu berada, ada tipi kecil dengan antena seperti antena lalat yang mencuat ke 2 arah. Sebelah kanan ada sebuah pintu yang tampak seperti lemari dan ternyata tempat buat taruh baju Kir, buku-buku sekolah dan futon.
Di tengah-tengah petak kecil itu ada meja bunder kecil.
"Lagipula, gua gak minta apa-apa selain harus ada dapur, toilet, TV, tempat gantung jemuran sama ranjang," kata Kir "Ini... sangat... sangat kecil...," kata Rin "Masa bodo," jawab Kir.
"Lagipula... gua mau elu pada pergi ke Tatsumi Port Island," kata Kir yang berjalan masuk dan duduk di lantai dekat meja bunder "Tatsumi Port Island? Kitakan emang mau kesana." "Iye, iye. Gue tau lu mau kesana, cuma mau bilangin lagi aja. Kemungkinan 'itu' akan muncul disana lumayan tinggi." "Berapa %?" tanya Ai "99,9%."
Rin dan Ai sweatdrop mendengarnya.
"Itu terlalu dipaksa, Kir...," kata Rin "Mimpi gue gak mungkin salah, kalau kalian tak percaya yah... tak apa-apa," kata Kir, mata tajamnya melihat Rin dan Ai.
Seketika itu juga, Rin dan Ai merasa suasana di tempat itu menjadi berat.
"Eeh..., Ai mendingan kita cepetan ke sono yuk... gue bisa latihan juga...," kata Rin dengan nada merinding "Eeh... iya... Gue setuju," kata Ai dengan nada yang juga merinding.
"Gue pergi dulu ya... ja...," kata Rin dan Ai, merekapun keluar dari apartment itu dan segera berlari ke stasiun.
Kir menghela nafas, _Gue kira akan lebih susah untuk ngebujuk mereka..._
Dia terseyum licik, _Rin sama Ai kadang-kadang bisa diandalkan juga ya... _(Kir!! Kau bukan mengandalkan mereka tapi menggunakan mereka!! *dibunuh Kir*)
Dia tertawa kecil dan berdiri dari tempatnya. "Nah, waktunya beres-beres baju!" serunya dengan senyum yang tampak begitu mengerikan.
_Tapi... ini Rin dan Ai yang kita bicarakan... bisa saja mereka lupa... Biarlah, yang penting Ai ketemu buah hatinya!_
* * *
Setelah pamitan dengan Kir, Ai dan Rin naik ke kereta yang menuju Tatsumi Port Island. Di dalam kereta Ai mendengarkan lagu sambil melihat peta supaya tidak terjadi hal seperti tadi sedangkan Rin seperti biasa hanya tertuju kepada DSnya.
"Ai... kenapa ya Naoto harus jadi cewe?" tanya Rin sambil menghela nafas (pertanyaan yang gak masuk akal)
"Hah? Jangan tanya gua dong! Emang Tuhan mau ciptain Naoto jadi cewe! Itu udah jadi hukum alam sama kehendak Tuhan!" jawab Ai yang masih sibuk ngeliatin petanya.
"Umm... by the way kalo gak salah lu udah namatin Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicle di DS kan?" tanya Rin.
"Udah, emangnya kenapa?" tanya Ai "Etto… bantuin gua dong... gua lagi ngestuck ni, gak tau mesti ke mana.. hehe...," jawab Rin. Ai menghela nafas, sepertinya dia tidak bisa santai mendengarkan lagunya.
* * *
**In Tatsumi Port Island**
Rin dan Ai sudah lupa tentang tugas yang dikasih Kir. "Rin kita ke Palownia Mall yuk!" ajak Ai "Pfft…Sekarang lu udah tau tempatnya?" ejek Rin.
"Udahlah! Lu mau ngejek gua gara-gara yang tadi kan?!" jawab Ai karena dia kesal.
"Ehehe... gomen, gomen... Ya udah emangnya di sono ada apa?" tanya Rin sambil berjalan ke satu toko es krim.
"Katanya sih, ada tempat karaoke, Game Center, Escapade, dan lain-lain," jawab Ai.
Rin langsung berbalik kearah Ai, "GAME CENTER??!!" teriak Rin dengan mata berbinar-binar.
"Iya... Tapi lu gak perlu teriak dong! Telinga gua bisa budeg tau! Gini-gini telinga gua masi normal walaupun sering pake headphone!!" protes Ai
"Yuk, ke sana!" ajak Rin dia langsung menggadeng Ai "Eh?! Terus es krimnya?" tanya Ai.
"Itu tidak penting sekarang gua mau refreshing maen game! Habisnya daritadi gak ada yang asyik!" jawab Rin "Perasaan daritadi lu maen game terus deh...," kata Ai. Rin tidak menjawabnya, dia langsung menyuruh Ai memberi tahu letak Palownia Mall.
* * *
_18.30_
"WUHUU!! Ai ayo tanding DDR sama gua!!" teriak Rin.
"Alrighty! Gua juga udah lama gak maen sama lu nih!" jawab Ai. Lalu mereka berjalan ke arah machine yang ada tanda panah atas, bawah, kiri dan kanan di injakannya. Mereka langsung bermain sampai lupa waktu. Mereka juga bermain di machine game yang lain.
_22.18_
"Wah, Rin asyik ya tadi! Sekarang mau ke mana?" tanya Ai.
"Ke karaoke yuk!"ajak Rin sambil menunjuk tempat yang berada di atas tangga.
"Memangnya tuh toko masih buka?" tanya Ai "Masih! Liat dong tulisannya dari jam dua belas siang sampai jam dua pagi!" jawab Rin. Mereka masuk ke tempat karaoke tersebut, "Wah ada lagu Hoshiyomi, duet yuk!" ajak Ai "Oke!" jawab Rin dengan anggukan.
_23.15_
"Ai… gua laper..," Rin sepertinya sudah lelah dan mengantuk "Gua juga laper... biasa kalo malem-malem kan suka ada warung ramen gitu di luar... Yuk kita cari!" ajak Ai sambil menggandeng Rin keluar Palownia Mall. Mereka menemukan warung dan memesan makanan. Setelah itu mereka mencari tempat penginapan tetapi…
_**24.00**_
…Teng... Teng... Teng…
Tiba-tiba tempat-tempat mulai berubah dan muncul banyak peti mati. "*shocked* Ai! I..Ini..!!" Rin melirik kearah Ai, "Hah?! I-Ini apa?! Kenapa banyak peti mati!?" Ai kepanikan. Mereka berlari dan masuk ke gedung aneh. "*shocked* Reaksi ini! Tidak mungkin!" Ai dan Rin kaget karena cincin dan antingnya bereaksi.
Tiba-tiba muncul makhluk seperti slime lalu lama-lama berubah menjadi bentuk bola dan muncul mulut dan makhluk tersebut menjulurkan lidahnnya. "Ah!! Ini Shadow kan?!" teriak Rin dan ia menjadi panik, "Mampus gua gak bawa senjata!!" "Cih apa boleh buat!" Ai mengeluarkan pistol yang selalu dibawanya dan menembakkan ke kepalanya dan berteriak, "Come, Aphrodite!!" suara kaca pecah terdengar, lalu buih-buih air muncul dibelakang Ai.
Lama-lama buih-buih itu membentuk sebuah tubuh dan cahaya putih muncul dari kumpulan buih-buih tersebut. Suara kaca pecah dapat didengar lagi saat buih-buih itu sudah tidak bersinar dan muncullah seorang perempuan cantik.
Perempuan itu berambut pirang, 2 bunga mawar terpasang di rambutnya. Rambut pirangnya itu tergoyang-goyang seperti ditiup angin sepoi-sepoi. Mata birunya terbuka, bibirnya merah keungu-unguan bagaikan merah anggur.
Ia memakai kain putih yang menutupi dada, lengannya –tapi pundaknya tidak ditutupi kain putih- dan tubuh bagian bawah miliknya. Tanda hati warna emas bersinar terang ada di dadanya.
Dan Aphrodite muncul dari laut dimana ia dibuang.
Rin segera mencari benda yang dia bisa gunakan untuk memanggil Persona. Ia menemukan batang pohon dan langsung mengeluarkan kartu sambil menyambetnya dan berteriak, "Ikusee, Tezcatlipoca!" seketika munculah makhluk seperti macan tutul dengan motif bintang.
Anehnya macan tersebut bersinar terang dan ia berupah menjadi seorang perempuan dengan rambut warna biru tua yang rambutnya digerai. Ia memakai baju kimono warna pink gelap, motif kimono itu adalah bintang warna emas dan terus bercahaya.
"Agi!" teriak Ai, Aphrodite mengangkat tangan kanannya dan lalu keluarlah api yang menyala-yala ditangannya. Aphrodite melempar api yang ada ditanganya dan api itu membunuh shadow tersebut.
"Heaaa!! Bufu!" teriak Rin, Tezcatlipoca berancang-ancang, disekitar tangan kanannya berkumpul titik putih, yaitu salju. Tezcatlipoca menggerakkan tangannya dan keluarlah sebuah es yang membekukan musuhnya dan Rin langsung menyerangnya, "Ayo! All out attack!" teriak Ai. Mereka membantai musuh tersebut.
* * *
Seorang perempuan berambut merah turun dari motornya bersama teman-temannya yang lain. "Fuuka! Bagaimana keadaan di dalam?!" teriaknya "Sepertinya di dalam ada persona users seperti kita! Mereka sedang melawan beberapa Shadow!" jawab anak yang bernama Fuuka itu.
"Baiklah semuanya ayo masuk!" teriak anak berambut merah itu lagi.
* * *
Pintu Gedung aneh itu terbuka dan anak-anak tersebut memasuki ruangan dan mereka melihat sosok dua gadis yang sedang melawan Shadow tersebut.
* * *
"Ai, lihat! Ada orang lain juga di sini!" teriak Rin. "Sepertinya mereka sama seperti kita! Kalau begitu…," Ai berbalik ke arah anak-anak tersebut, "Hei, bisakah kalian membantu kami? Kami kesulitan melawan shadow-shadow di sini karena tidak berhenti keluar!" teriak Ai sambil menyerang salah satu shadow.
"Ck! Come Aphrodite!" Ai menembakkan pistol itu ke kepalanya lagi, pecahan kaca terdengar, "Maragidyne!" Aphrodite kembali muncul dengan cara yang sama dan ditangannya sudah tersedia api yang lebih besar dari yang tadi dan Aphrodite langsung menyerang semua shadow secara bersamaan.
"Mitsuru-san mereka juga persona users seperti kita!" kata anak perempuan berambut pendek dan berwarna hijau lumut.
"Jadi ada persona users selain kita? Heeh..., menarik sekali," kata laki-laki berambut putih.
"Akihiko! Ini bukan permainan! Ayo kita bantu mereka!" teriak anak yang dipanggil Mitsuru itu.
Anak-anak tersebut langsung membantu Ai dan Rin mengalahkan shadow tersebut. "Hosh... hosh… Ai sepertinya sudah tidak ada shadow lagi," kata Rin yang terlihat letih "Ya..."
Ai berbalik ke arah anak-anak yang menolongnya, "Terima kasih banyak karena telah membantu kami mengalahkan shadow-shadow itu," ucap Ai.
"Ah... tidak apa-apa! Lagian, gua pasti akan langsung menolong gadis cantik yang sedang-Ukh!" anak laki-laki yang memakai topi itu dipukul oleh seorang perempuan berambut light brown dan memakai Chocker.
"Stupei bodoh! Sekarang bukan saatnya berbicara seperti itu!" perempuan itu melirik Ai dan Rin, "Kalian berdua tidak apa-apa?" tanyanya.
"Kami tidak apa-apa kok," jawab Ai dan Rin. Anak perempuan berambut merah menuju ke arah Ai dan Rin, "Kenapa kalian bisa berada di sini?" tanyanya.
"Eh... itu tadi kami sedang mencari tempat penginapan lalu tiba-tiba peti mati muncul dan kami berlari ke sini dan ketemu shadow...," jawab Ai.
"Kalau begitu sekarang kalian menginap di asrama kami saja," jawab anak perempuan itu "Besok bolehkah kami berbicara kepada kalian?" tanyanya.
"…Baiklah. Terima kasih sudah mengizinkan kami tinggal di tempat anda," jawab Ai dan Rin sambil membungkukan badan. Merekapun keluar dari gedung itu dan menuju asrama yang disebut tadi.
* * *
**07.30**
"Hoahm… Ai, ohayou…," ucap Rin saat dia bangkit dari tempat tidurnya "Ohayou. Rin cepat mandi setelah ini kita akan ke rumah sakit," kata Ai. Rin kaget dan langsung berdiri dan bertanya dengan cemas, "Hah?! Emang ada apa?! Lu sakit?!"
"Bukan _ahoo_! Kita disuruh perempuan yang berambut merah itu untuk pergi ke sana!" jawab Ai "Kenapa harus di rumah sakit?" tanya Rin. "Entahlah… pokoknya kita ikutin aja, soalnya dia udah ngijinin kita nginap di asrama ini!" ucap Ai.
**10.27**
"Mmm… Kamar nomer 215…," gumam Ai, lalu mereka tiba di depan sebuah kamar bernomor 215.
Tok... tok…
"Siapa?" tanya sebuah suara dari dalam, "Anu... maaf kami berdua yang diizinkan anda tinggal di asrama...," jawab Ai "Oh, silakan masuk," jawab sebuah suara dari dalam. Ai dan Rin masuk ke dalam dan mereka menemukan anak-anak yang menolongnya berkumpul di dekat sebuah tempat tidur.
"Terima kasih sudah mau datang. Maaf kami belum mengenalkan diri, namaku Kirijo Mitsuru," ucap anak perempuan berambut merah.
"Aku Takeba Yukari," kata perempuan berambut light brown yang memakai chocker.
"Ladies perkenalkan saya Iori Junpei," kata anak yang memakai topi itu. "Lho? Bukannya kamu Stupei-san yang disebut Takeba-san kemarin ya?" tanya Rin dengan polos "Argh..! Itu bukan namaku! Itu hanya panggilan dari Yuka-tan doang kok!" jawabnya "Pfft..menurutku lebih cocok namanya Stupei!" kata Yukari.
"Aku Sanada Akihiko," kata anak laki-laki yang rambutnya berwarna putih plus memakai plester di pipinya.
"Aku Ken Amada, hehe... yoroshiku onee-chan!" ucap anak berambut brown itu dengan senyum manis di wajahnya.
Rin berbicara kepada Ai dengan kekuatannya, _OMIGOT, AI!!!! _
_Apa sih?_, tanya Ai
_Ini anak tipe Shouta!! Imut banget!!_, teriak Rin.
_Uru...-_, kata-kata Ai terpotong saat seorang perempuan berambut ijo lumur berkata, "Aku Yamagishi Fuuka."
"Saya Aigis," kata anak perempuan yang memakai bando dan rambutnya pendek berwarna kuning.
"Woof!" seekor anjing menggongong, spontan Ai dan Rin kaget, "Katanya 'Aku Koromaru'," ucap Aegis.
_Ai, kok bisa si ada anjing di rumah sakit? Mana anjingnya imut lagi!!_, tanya Rin dengan histeris.
_Don't ask me!_, jawab Ai, _Lagipula udah gue bilang'kan?! Gue gak suka kalo lu pake kekuatan elu kalau saat kayak begini!!_
_Ai wa hidoi!! Kir aja gak bermasalah thu! Malahan dia masukin pikiran gue melulu!!_
_Kir ya, Kir! Gue bu...-_, kata-kata Ai terhenti lagi saat Fuuka bertanya, "Uum... Kalian...?"
"Ma-maaf, aku Ryouma Aiko," jawab Ai.
"Aizawa Rin desu!" jawab Rin.
Rin melirik laki-laki yang berbaring di tempat tidur, "Etto... maaf orang yang berbaring di tempat tidur siapa ya?" tanya Rin dengan polosnya lagi.
"Rin!! Itu gak sopan tau! Gomen minna!" ucap Ai.
"Ah... tidak apa-apa...," jawab Mitsuru lalu melirik anak berambut biru yang tertidur di situ, "Dia... Arisato Minato...," jawab Mitsuru. Semua langsung diam dan sepertinya berpikir dengan pikirannya masing-masing.
_Ai, kok semua pada diem sih?! Eh by the way, cowok yang tidur itu sekilas mirip Naoto ya_, tanya Rin.
...
Ai hanya diam saja, karena tidak ada jawaban Rin langsung melirik Ai dan melihat muka Ai merona merah melihat anak yang bernama Arisato Minato itu.
_Ciee… Ai... Lu jatuh cinta sama anak yang namanya Arisato ya??_, ejek Rin.
Spontan Ai langsung kaget dan langsung berteriak dengan muka merahnya itu, "BUKAN BODOH!!"
Semua yang berada di situ kecuali Rin cuma bisa bersweatdropped dan Rin tersenyum jahil ke arah Ai.
"Ah, maaf...," Ai langsung menundukkan kepalanya, malu.
"Oke, aku ingin bertanya ke kalian, maukah kalian sekolah di Gekkoukan Gakuen?" tanya Mitsuru.
"Oh... sekolah di Gekkoukan ya… haha seperti game en komik aja, Ai gimana?" tanya Rin "Haha mungkin asyik ya, menjalani hidup seperti di game en komik...eh tunggu-" ucapan Ai terhenti...
_Sekolah di Gekkuokan...?_
Dan perlahan-lahan mereka berdua mulai menyerap perkataan Mitsuru.
"NANII!!!??? KAMI SEKOLAH DI JEPANG???!!!" teriak Ai dan Rin.
* * *
Rin : Saatnya Rin Rin Dangerous Interview!!
Kir : Ini sebuah 1 chapter yang panjang..
Ai : Beary Beary long..
Kir & Rin : !! Ai itu kan kalimat teddie!!
Ai : So what?
Rin & Kir : …nothing
Rin : Yak, hari ini kita kedatangan tamu yaitu... The Greatest Pair in Persona 4!! Yey... beri tepuk tangan!
Yosuke : Yo Ladies! *tebar pesona*
Souji : Hai minna ^^
Kir, Ai, Rin : *stare at yosuke n langsung berbalik ke arah souji*
Rin : Souji-kun tipe perempuan apa yang kau sukai?
Kir : Jangan nanya yang kayak gitu! Gak sopan tau! Seta-san makanan apa yang kau suka? Ka... Kalo gak keberatan gue buatin... *blushed* (waw Kir ternyata kau tsundere *digampar Kir*)
Ai : Seta-san jenis music apa yang kau sukai?
Souji : emm..eh bisakah kalian menanyakannya bergiliran?
Yosuke : Hei partner kau laku skali... bagi-bagi dong... lu kan udah punya Rise...
Ai : *grin* Hanamura-san kau udah punya Satonaka-san, wkwkwk
GLEGAAR!!
Yosuke : (tuh anak ngomongnya nancep banget sih!!)
Souji : Lho Yosuke kok gak kasih tau sih? Traktir-traktir dong!
Yosuke : Romeo, kau lebih percaya kalimat orang yang tidak dikenal daripada your beloved one!? Kejam *nangis sambil gigit saputangan*
Souji : Tidak Juliet-ku... Aku tidak bermaksud begitu! Mereka saja yang mengerubungiku! Di hatiku hanya ada kau seorang! Karena... *lari ke Yosuke*
Yosuke : Karena..?
Souji : You've stoled my heart! My heart is yours! I love you... Oh my Juliet... *pegang tangan Yosuke*
Yosuke : Oh Romeo... I love you too...
Bibir mereka berdua makin mendekat... makin mendekat...
Kir & Rin : *with sparkled eyes* Kirei... subarashi… kita harus foto!! Ini momen indah!!
Ai : Eh, ah! *nutupin yosuke dan souji dari depan* Oke kali ini dunia menjadi milik yaoi... *sigh* ok dhe jaa minna... acara udah kacau nih!
Sutradara : Kayaknya nanti harus cut bagian yang tadi nih..
BZZZT
* * *
Kir : Aduh, keren banget RIN RIN DANGEROUS INTERVIEW-nya!!
Rin : Iya kan? Gue kan jago~ *bangga + sombong*
Ai : Sombongnya dateng dhe
Kir : Tapi, SoujixYosuke mank paling bagus ya~
Rin : Iya"! Walau bnyk yg suka ChiexYosuke, SoujixYosuke paling bagus~
Kir : Apa kita masukin RyojixMinato? Gue lagi demen sama pairing itu + sama AkixShinji~
Rin : Hmm... gimana ya?? Gue sih mau ta-
Ai : Jangan pedulikan mereka, RnR!
End file.
| fanfiction |
Ganymed was an Austrian/German space disco band founded in 1977.
Career
In 1978, they released their biggest hit, It Takes Me Higher, which hit #5 on the Austrian charts for four weeks and also hit #23 on the German charts. That same year, they released their debut album Takes You Higher, which ranked at #16 for 12 weeks and also spawned another single, Saturn.
1979 saw the release of their second album, Future World. The albums title track was released as a B-side to Dancing in a Disco. Afterwards, they released their final album, Dimension No. 3, plus a non-album single, Money Is Addiction Of This Crazy World in 1980.
At their last concert in 1981, Falco played bass for the group. Ganymed officially broke up in 1983.
Members
Gerry Edmond real name Edmund Gerhard Czerwenka; pseudonym in the group: Kroonk lead vocals, guitar, keyboards, synth programming
Yvonne Dory real name Doris Yvonne Czerwenka; pseudonym in the group: Pulsaria vocals
Rudolf Mille pseudonym in the group: Vendd keyboards
Gerhard Messinger-Neuwirth pseudonym in the group: Schnitzel bass, keyboards
Ernst Nekola-Hefter pseudonym in the group: Cak drums, percussion, drum programming
Daniele Prencipe pseudonym in the group: Suk; only appeared on Takes You Higher keyboards
Discography
Albums
Takes You Higher 1978
Future World 1979
Dimension No. 3 1980
Singles
It Takes Me Higher 1978
Saturn/Music Drives Me Crazy 1978
Dancing in a Disco 1979
Money Is Addiction Of This Crazy World 1980
Bring Your Love To Me 1980
Soundtracks
Two source cues #192 and #193 on the Film Score Monthly release of the complete soundtrack for the 1981 movie Outland 2010
In popular culture
It Takes Me Higher was used as the theme song for the Italian version of the Japanese anime Gaiking.
External links
Discography
Ernst Hefter's page dedicated to his time in Ganymed
History
Austrian charts
Category:Austrian electronic music groups
Category:Eurodisco groups
Category:German electronic music groups
Category:Musical groups established in 1977
Category:1977 establishments in Austria | wikipedia |
adenosine deaminase ( ada ) , an enzyme essential for the differentiation of lymphoid cells , has been used for monitoring several diseases in which immunity has been altered ( 1 ) . as an indicator of cellular immunity
, the serum activity of this enzyme has been suggested to be altered in diseases that cause a cell - mediated immune response such as rheumatoid arthritis , systemic lupus erythematosus , and tuberculosis ( 2 , 3 ) .
ada catalyses the hydrolytic deamination of adenosine to inosine and 2'-deoxyadenosine to 2'-deoxyinosine ( 4 , 5 ) .
this enzyme is widely distributed in human tissues , especially in the lymphoid tissues , and is essential for the maturation and function of human blood monocytes and macrophages ( 6 , 7 ) .
it has been considered as an indicator of a nonspecific marker of t - cell activation ( 8) .
human ada exists in at least three molecular isoforms , ada1 , ada2 , and ada1 and ada - complexing protein ( 9 ) .
the homeostasis of these isoforms and the activity of the isoenzymes ada1 and ada2 in human cells are of extreme importance in maintaining the homeostasis between adenosine and 2'-deoxyadenosine in monocytes and macrophages ( 4 , 5 ) .
there have been several reports on the increase in serum ada activity in diseases where cellular immunity is activated ( 6 ) .
lymphocytes or the monocyte - macrophage cell system have been assumed to be responsible for the changes in serum ada activity ; however , the precise mechanisms by which serum ada activity is altered has not been clarified ( 6 , 11 ) .
normal pregnancy has been associated with depressed cell immunity ( 12 ) , and thus , serum ada activity may play a significant role ( 13 ) .
there have been conflicting reports about the changes in the activity of serum ada in normal pregnancy compared to the age - matched non - pregnant women ( 14 - 16 ) .
however , to our knowledge , only few studies have been performed investigating the changes in serum ada activity according to gestational age , and the clinical significance of changes in ada activity throughout normal pregnancy has not been elucidated ( 14 , 15 ) .
several studies have shown that serum ada activity is significantly increased in women with recurrent spontaneous abortions , preeclampsia , and hyperemesis gravidarum where enhanced cell - mediated immunity is thought to be an important pathogenesis ( 17 - 19 ) .
there have also been reports showing low levels of both maternal serum and placental ada activity in anembryonic pregnancies and missed abortions ( 20 ) . in this study
, we measured the serum ada activity in normal pregnant women and examined the changes of serum ada activity according to the gestational age .
patients who received continuous antenatal care and underwent either normal spontaneous vaginal delivery or cesarean section at the yonsei university medical center from january of 2004 until march of 2006 were recruited for this study .
the criteria for eligibility were as follows : 1 ) well established gestational age confirmed by ultrasonography , 2 ) singleton fetus , 3 ) no fetal anomaly , 4 ) nonsmoker , 5 ) normal response to glucose tolerance testing , 6 ) no evidence of recent infection , 7 ) no prescribed medications , and 8) no maternal medical complications .
each patient was examined monthly in the outpatient department until the 24th week of gestation , then bimonthly until the 36th week of gestation and subsequently weekly until delivery .
if the women developed any complications throughout the pregnancy , they were excluded from the study .
all deliveries resulted in live infants with an 1-min apgar score 7 and each infant 's birth weight was appropriate for gestational age .
all patients gave informed consent after having been informed that they would not benefit directly from the measurement of the serum ada . in order to reduce the inconvenience to the participants ,
the blood specimens were collected when the participants came for their routine examinations ; first - visit laboratory tests ( 5 - 10 gestational weeks ) , serum -fetoprotein screening ( 15 - 20 gestational weeks ) , glucose tolerance test ( 24 - 28 gestational weeks ) , and pre - delivery laboratory tests ( 30 - 39 weeks ) .
the study groups were divided into four groups as follows : group i - from 5 to 10 gestational weeks ( n=58 ) ; group ii - from 15 - 20 gestational weeks ( n=63 ) ; group iii - from 24 - 30 gestational weeks ( n=34 ) ; and group iv : from 30 to 39 gestational weeks ( n=47 ) .
venous blood specimens were collected and the serum obtained was stored at -80 until further analysis .
the activity of the ada was assayed using an automatic analyzer ( tba-80fr ; toshiba , tokyo , japan ) with a commercial kit according to the instructions of the manufacturer ( toyobo , osaka , japan ) .
the enzyme activity was determined by quantifying inosine liberated from the substrate , adenosine ( 10 mm ) .
inosine was converted by purine nucleoside phosphorylase into hypoxanthine , which was further converted by xanthine oxidase into uric acid and hydrogen peroxide .
the hydrogen peroxide was then converted into the quinone dyes by peroxidase , 4-aminoantipyrine , and n - ethyl - n-(2-hydroxy-3-sulfopropyl)-m - toluidine , and the absorbance at 548/700 nm was measured .
the detection limit of the assay was 0 - 200 iu / l with intra- and interassay coefficients of variable less than 5% and 10% , respectively .
statistical analysis of the results was carried out using the one - way anova ( analysis of variance ) for comparison between the four groups .
multiple logistic regression was also performed to evaluate the independent effects of variables on ada activity .
there was no significant difference among these four groups in terms of maternal age , parity , gestational age at delivery , birth weight of the infants , or delivery mode .
1 . the median serum ada levels in the groups i , ii , iii and iv were as follows ; 20.16.9 iu / l , 20.07.6 iu / l , 37.919.9
the median serum ada activity of group iii ( 24 - 30 gestational weeks ) was significantly ( p<0.05 ) higher than those of groups i , ii and iv . there was no significant correlation between the serum ada activity and other measured variables such as maternal age ( p=0.29 ) , gestational age at delivery ( p=0.07 ) , delivery mode ( p=0.39 ) , and birth weight ( p=0.59 ) .
ada is an essential enzyme for the differentiation of lymphoid cells , and changes in ada activity reflect alteration in immunity ( 6 - 8 ) .
however , to have a clear diagnostic significance in infectious diseases , the value of ada activity should be at least 2.5 times the normal value ( 21 ) .
alterations in the serum ada activity during pregnancy are likely to reflect , at least in part , changes in the immunological status that occurs throughout normal pregnancy ( 12 ) .
however , to our current knowledge , there have only been few reports providing the reference values of serum ada activity throughout normal pregnancy ( 14 , 15 ) .
have measured serum activities of total ada , ada1 , and ada2 in normal pregnant women in the third trimester and age - matched healthy nonpregnant women ( 16 ) . in normal pregnant women , serum total ada and ada2 activities were lower than those of the nonpregnant women , while there was no difference in ada1 activity .
these results suggest that reduced serum total ada activity reflects decreased ada2 activity , which may be in part associated with depressed cell - mediated immunity during normal pregnancy ( 16 ) .
one possible explanation for decreased ada activity in normal pregnancy is due to the increase in pregnancy - related hormones such as estradiol and cortisol which tends to inhibit ada activity ( 22 ) .
another possible reason is the deamination of adenosine to inosine by ada , which favors increased adenosine levels ( 23 ) .
thus , the observed elevation of adenosine and decreased ada activity in late normal pregnancy may be thought to be a compensatory mechanism that tends to maintain the vascular integrity to increase the uterine and placental blood flow . on the contrary , in pregnancies complicated by preeclampsia which is characterized by enhanced cell - mediated immunity ( 25 ) ,
ada activities of both the maternal serum and fetal cord blood were increased ( 18 , 26 ) .
an increase in ada activity in preeclampsia may indirectly contribute to the maintenance of immune response in preeclampsia by controlling adenosine levels .
another study demonstrated an increase in serum total ada and ada2 activities in women with hyperemesis gravidarum , which was accompanied by high lymphocyte and monocyte counts ( 19 ) .
the clinical significance and the regulatory mechanism of the increased ada activity in complicated pregnancies with altered cellular immunity remain to be elucidated . in the present study
, no significant correlation was shown between the serum ada activity and gestational age in normal pregnant women .
serum ada activity of group iii was significantly higher than the other three groups , which is somewhat different from an earlier study that showed that serum ada values did not differ among each trimester of pregnancy ( 15 ) ; however , the study population differed from that of the present study , which may account for the discrepancy in the results . the significant increase in ada activity seen in our study during 24 to 30 gestational weeks
may be associated with the fact that the increase in maternal cardiac output reaches its peak during the late second trimester to early third trimester and decreases in late pregnancy ( 27 ) . moreover
, maternal blood volume expands most rapidly during the late second trimester ( 28 ) .
the major source of circulating adenosine in the bloodstream is the platelet , vascular endothelium , and red blood cells ( 29 ) . we can postulate that the rapid increase in red blood cells and vascular endothelium during the late second to early third trimester may release adenosine into the bloodstream , elevate the concentration , and thereby exert its vasodilator actions to increase blood supply to the uterine and placental unit .
thus , the activity of ada may increase in order to degrade the elevated adenosine and to maintain the level of adenosine at its kinetic equilibrium .
however , the clinical significance of the increase in serum ada in group iii is not fully understood , and further studies are needed to elucidate the possible mechanisms involved . a number of limitations of the present study should be noted .
first , instead of dividing the participants into four different groups according to the gestational age , the serum ada activity should be prospectively measured from the same set of normal pregnant women from early 1st trimester to delivery .
second , to our knowledge , we have not found any studies in the literature reporting the changes in the activities of ada and its isoforms throughout the normal pregnancy .
thus , it would be interesting to see if the change in the serum ada activity is accompanied by similar changes in ada isoforms , especially ada2 . despite the limitations of the this study
, we were able to provide serum ada values throughout normal pregnancy from early first trimester to third trimester which was different from previous studies that only compared the serum ada activity of pregnant women in their third trimester to the non - pregnant controls ( 16 ) .
we conclude that serum ada activity may be a marker of altered cell - mediated immunity in pregnancy , and the significance of the regulatory mechanisms that alter the activity of serum ada and its isoenzymes need further studies .
reference values of serum ada in normal pregnancy may provide important database for making clinical decisions in high - risk pregnancies where cellular immunity has been altered . | pubmed |
Phantom of the Opera 1. A New Moon, A New Voice
**Phantom Phases**
D.H. A. N.: This is my first POTO Fic. Please enjoy and leave a nice review. Suggestions welcome, if not needed.
Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera
Chapter One: A New Moon.
Parisian moonlight fell softly upon Christine Daae, glittering on the engagement ring she had received from Raoul de Changy, as if, along with almost everyone she knew, the moon wanted to gaze upon the pristine ring as well. But she had another ring as well. Its giver had bid her keep it. She remembered the first time she had heard the voice of the ring's giver. It was like a new moon, a voice without a face. Something that she knew was there, but could not see; a voice that held power, reason, and love.
Erik crept through the halls of the ruined Opera House, unfortunately finding that in his final desperate attempt to win his love's heart, he had ruined his favorite catwalks. He would just have to find another stroll. Something caught his eye, a faint trickle of moonlight, something he, The Phantom of the Opera, had never seen before. _What does she think of me now? I think myself a horrid person, one who could never be loved, but Christine… she taught me something._
**DH: **Well, how was it… good bad, please let me know. Thanks for reading
2. A Waxing Moon, A Waxing Desire
D.H. A.N.: I'm back with a longer chapter this time, and with some great news. My high school band is going to State Competition this Tuesday, so be patient, I only have one more after school rehearsal left; which is good and bad at the same time. Anyway, enough about the author's personal life, that's not why you're here. Let's get back to Erik and Christine's reflections, shall we?
**Chapter Two: Waxing Moon, Waxing Desire**
Erik just stood in the shadows the moonlight cast upon his hiding place, remembering that the moon wasn't always full. Sometimes the light would fade, slipping back into solitary cover of the Earth's shadow, where it would wait until the next opportunity revealed itself. Erik thought about the many times he had done the exact same process. There was, of course, the beginning, in which he had heard Christine Daae first sing with that naturally beautiful voice that could only become honed to perfection from there. Then, there was the night, when The Phantom of the Opera began to act as the moon, rotating around the soprano who was his world.
_Flashback_
There were a few candles lit in the room of the Opera Populaire where Christine Daae was staying as a chorus girl. But she was now Prima Donna for the Opera's production of _Hannibal,_ after La Carlotta had a slight mishap with a backdrop. Erik had heard Christine sing many an occasion, and scoffed at the absurd idea that the owners, Andre and Firmin, thought that the haughty, over egotistical La Carlotta had what it took to be the Prima Donna. _They only picked her because there was no one better. She is far too shrill when in the high registers. I hope that backdrop on the head teaches her a lesson or two. But my Angel Christine shall be more successful than La Carlotta will ever be. O, what do we have here, an old friend of Christine? She seems to be interested in him, but he seems to be pressing her a little too hard for my liking. _The stranger then kissed Christine's hand. That made Erik furious. _That's it! As soon as he is gone, I make my entrance._
_End of Flashback_
Little did Erik know that Christine had stumbled upon the same memory, the memory of how the Angel of Music came in the night.
_Flashback_
Raoul deChagny, a childhood friend who had become the Opera's new patron, had stopped in to comment on how well the young soprano had sung. He was gone now. Christine noticed some roses tied with black ribbon, and smiled, somehow knowing they weren't from Raoul. Then, a fierce gust of wind blew the few remaining candles out. She heard a voice, deep, comforting, yet commanding, boom, "Insolent boy , the slave of fashion, basking in your glory. Ignorant fool, this brave young suitor, sharing in my triumph!"
Christine was relieved, the angel her father promised her had come at last. She responded with "Angel I hear you speak I listen stay by my side guide me. Angel, my soul was weak, forgive me. Enter at last, Master." The voice then seemed to caress her ears with pleasure. "Flattering child you shall know me, see why in shadow I hide. Look at your face in the mirror I am there inside!" She looked and indeed there was someone on the other side of the mirror, a handsome man in black with a white half mask. She moved towards the mirror and didn't even know she had stepped through it, into the halls of the Phantom's lair.
_End of Flashback_
Erik took the time to chastise himself. _Smooth move, Erik, take her to your lair. That's what got me into trouble. I should have done it in increments, rather than all at once. But alas what's done is done. _He saw movement, and someone sitting just outside where he was hiding. _Could it be? _It was Christine Daae, sitting all alone on a bench within eyesight. Erik knew it would be foolish to try and establish contact, the mob was still looking for him. He waited, shifting into the moonlight, hoping that only her eyes would see him.
**D.H.: **Once again, I apologize for the short first Chapter. I hope this one is a little better. Thanks to **Fallingwithstyle, GlimmerOfHope, Ron's Girly1100(You know who you are), **and **LovetheScottishAngel,** for reviewing, and until after State competition is done, bye .
3. Two Musical Nights
**D.H. A.N.: ** This is a combination of two events in the movie, and a less than adequate description of a third. I hope You all like it.
**Chapter Three: Two Musical Nights**
_**Christine's Flashback continued**_
The mysterious figure then took her by the hand, and guided her onto a gondola, silently rowing onward. She remembered little except that it was as if she were in a trance. The gates opened rather slowly, revealing a delicately styled abode on the underground lake.
Christine remembered nothing after that except that a calm voice, lulling her into a slumber:
" Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation.
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination.
Silently the senses abandon their defenses
Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendor.
Grasp it, sense it tremulous and tender.
Turn your face away from the garish light of day,
Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light -
and listen to the music of the night...
Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams!
Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before!
Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar!
And you'll live as you've never lived before
Softly, deftly, music shall caress you
Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you
Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind,
in this darkness that you know you cannot fight
the darkness of the music of the night.
Let your mind start a journey
through a strange, new world!
Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before!
Let your soul take you where you long to be!
Only then can you belong to me
Floating, falling, sweet intoxication!
Touch me, trust me, and savor each sensation!
Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in
to the power of the music that I write
the power of the music of the night
You alone can make my song take flight
And help me make the music of the night"
Her Angel held the last note and gave it a bell tone quality, letting it slip into silence. It was a lovely piece that must have livened up its composer immensely. For his voice held such passion, such openness, such boldness that could only be done if one truly saw the beauty of the night's wrapping embrace. She knew that this was her angel. Someone that could know no other identity. She slipped into sleep without another thought.
_Several months later…same flashback._
It was months before the fist performance of **Don Juan**, the Phantom's latest Opera. Christine Daae found herself alone on the roof with Raoul deChangy. He started singing to her with a soft, gentle voice:
"No more talk of darkness, forget your well found fears.
I'm here nothing will harm you; my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom, let daylight dry your tears, I'm here, with you, beside you to guard you and to guide you."
She found herself knowing that his words were sincere, and that they came from somewhere deeper. But that alone couldn't assuage the feeling that there may have been someone else there. Was there another on the roof? She shook that notion away.
There was another on that roof, who thought that he was intangible, one who was incapable of any emotions save love, passion, and fury. Beyond that, he was no one, a man who held many aliases but no one who honestly knew his name. The Phantom of the Opera, the Opera Ghost, an Angel of Music, a mysterious composer whose works were performed on the Populaire stage nightly, and to his specifications exactly. He knew that no one would notice him on the roof, behind the statue of the winged horse. He heard Christine, his Angel, serenading Raoul, the arrogant young suitor who had obviously stolen the young soprano's heart without regard for whether anyone else held admiration as he did. Erik felt tears slowly make their way down his mask, and the other half of his face. He had given her his music and made her song take wing. How could she betray him? She had denied him, something that he could never allow himself to forgive.
The two left the roof, locked in a vocal embrace., leaving Erik alone, fingering one of his many roses, with a black ribbon around the stem. Snow began falling softly through the passionate fury that was coursing through his system, a fury that he had never learned to control, something that he felt would certainly lead to his death.
A noise quickly jolted both Christine and Erik back to the present. It was a notable echo that was caused by a cough that had hopefully come from Erik. He shivered slightly, as it was getting colder. He shook himself, trying to wake himself up, and jolting himself out of his morose state. There is a phase that he had gone through many an unfortunate time, along with many other unnoticeable phases that he knew he had gone through, but this kind of depression that would never cease to present itself._ I really was involved in this memory, and yet am surprised that the distractions present themselves so easily. But that phase was just the beginning._
_**Flashback**_
It was the night of the Don Juan premiere at the Opera Populaire. Erik had already made certain that he would be singing onstage during the Point of No Return. What he didn't count on was that Christine would remove his mask, and thus humiliate him in front of a full house. Of course the first portion of effectively assuming this would have been that Christine had realized that Erik had been on the roof that winter night. He had assumed the opposite, that she knew not that he had been on the roof. But the process of humiliation began at the end of the duet.
"Say you'll share with me
One love one lifetime
Lead me save me
from my solitude
say you need me with you here
beside you
Anywhere you go
let me go too
Christine that's all I ask of-"
Then it happened. All that seemed to fill his ears were the loud horrified gasps, something that he seemed to remember as his life had followed the same pattern. He tried to shut them out, closing his eyes hiding tears of fury that seemed as if nothing could stop them. Although, if he had held his eyes open for a few more seconds, he would have seen a look of remorse from the young soprano's eyes.
Christine shook out of self hatred, she just had to prove her assumptions right. In doing so she had caused an undesired panic. She had first gotten an idea that the Phantom was Don Juan, but she had realized something that only after the Don had begun singing something that sounded very familiar to her, although it wasn't until the semi-known actor asked to go anywhere that she went that she realized that actor and Phantom were one in the same.
**D.H. A.N.: **I read the book, and it didn't help me with this story much, but it has given me minor ideas for my other story, **Phantom Duelists. **It's in the** Yu-Gi-Oh **genre, but that's another area I enjoy reading. I want to thank **LovetheScottishAngel **and **Phantom's Daughter 13 **for the opinions on whether Christine recognized Erik in _**Don Juan Triumphant,**_referring to Erik's adlibbing to "AIAOY." And all of you who review, thank you.
4. Wandering Child Found
**D.H. A.N.: **I'm so sorry for the long wait, but I've had writer's block on this for months, which I have just gotten out of. I'd like to think this is the best chapter yet. I'll let my readers decide. Enjoy **Chapter Four: Wandering Child Found. **Please review. All singing is to the tune of "Angel of Music", the base tune for "Wandering Child". Enjoy.
* * *
**Chapter Four: Wandering Child Found**
Erik sobbed silently; the memory of that night had caused so much pain never had left him. He sang loudly, then softly in between his broken sobs. "I'm not more than a wandering child, one that has gone astray. A wandering child so lost, so helpless yearning for true guidance. A wandering child so lost so lonely, left to recall the past." He held his last note with all sorrow intertwined into it. He had learned to live in his loneliness, but that did not mean he truly accepted it. He then heard a seemingly heart torn soprano voice answer him back. He looked up only to see liquid brown eyes filled with tears.
While on the bench, Christine let tears have their way with her face, for she did not care anymore. His sorrow torn voice echoed in her memory.
"_I'm not more than a wandering child, one that has gone astray. A wandering child so lost, so helpless yearning for true guidance. A wandering child so lost so lonely, left to recall the past."_
"Whose is the voice that I hear now, so sorrowful and forlorn? How can I not answer the call to a heart that's torn?" She walked toward the place where she heard the voice, asking a question through song. "Is it a lonesome feared phantom who has now captured my ears? Fate has told me that I have caused pain beyond all tears."
She held her hand out to him, and, with the roles somewhat switched, Erik took Christine's hand, speechless for a minute. But when she opened her mouth he knew the exact words to sing with her "Angels of Music to each other, going our separate ways. Angel of Music, don't forget me, go now and find your place." Christine pulled the ring from her pocket, and placed it gently in his open hand, closing it in the same manner as he had when he placed it in hers.
"Are you happy with him?" The Phantom asked, part of him still hoping she would say no. But he knew that she wouldn't deny the vicomte, who had come to save her. Now would be his chance to perhaps send an apology to him by way of Christine. But she did not answer his question, instead asking another.
"Why did you let me go with him? I am happy with him, but I will only be truly happy when I know the reason for it, other than the fact that we were childhood sweethearts." She murmured lightly.
"You were childhood sweethearts, mademoiselle? I had no idea, although, I think I should have guessed that." Erik somewhat laughed lightly, and he liked the feeling it gave him. It was a new feeling, laughing, but his serious nature came back to him, realizing that she had asked a question. "I'm sorry, would you mind running your question by me again?"
"Why did you let me go with him?" She softly asked again.
"You showed me love, a feeling I never knew. An indescribable change came over me. That feeling cannot be worded, voiced, or even put into music. I know that you would have stayed had I not let you go. But that would have only lead to two lives being mourned , and a celebrated death of a third." He sighed, removing an envelope from his back pocket, closed with a safety pin instead of the usual red wax seal. "Give this to Raoul for me." He said the name of his former combatant softly, as if the name was foreign to his tongue.
"I will" She paused, "But what about you?"
"I will, as you sang, find my place, as it is clear you have found yours, by making my music world renowned someday." He cracked a devious smile, "Perhaps write new works, and who knows; somebody could find my manuscripts and make a story of it. "
* * *
**DH:** Well, somebody obviously found them, and now, The Phantom's phamous. On another note, I'm undecided about whether this should end it or if there should be another Chapter or two. For that reason, I'm not putting "Complete" on it yet; even if it sounds like it should be, so let me know what else you would like to see if anything. If this does turn into the last Chapter, I thank you for your support. If it continues, I'll keep thanking you until the end.
5. Notes
Chapter Five: Notes
**DH AN:** Here is the last chapter of **Phantom Phases. **I hope you like it. I am supportive of Raoul & Christine, and go back and read a portion of the fourth chapter if you have any doubt on my stance. Enjoy **Chapter Five: Notes.**
**
* * *
**
Chapter Five: Notes
**Paris, France 1919**
Raoul De Changy solemnly stepped towards the grave of the dearly missed Countess De Changy, otherwise known as Christine Daae. He placed the music box at the base of the tombstone, sighing softly.
A glint caught his eye. It stood out against the black ribbon tied to the rose; _his _trademark. He glanced over to the spot where they had fought, then back at the rose and stepped away. He pulled the Phantom's last note from his inside pocket.
Erik waited with his bow in hand.
_**Flashback**_
They heard hooves clicking on the street. "Christine?" Raoul's voice came out clearly over the din.
"He's waiting for you, mademoiselle." Erik softly urged.
"But, where will you go?" Christine asked.
"You don't need to worry about that, but I will return."
"You promise?" Christine asked. Erik only nodded in reply.
"Give him that letter." Erik urged somewhat forcefully.
Christine turned to see behind only for a few seconds, but by the time she returned her gaze to its former position, the elusive Phantom had vanished.
"Christine!" Raoul shouted once more, coming up behind her. His tone then became softer. "Are you looking for something?"
"Yes. A ring, why?" Christine immediately felt bad for fibbing when Raoul paled slightly. "Don't worry, Raoul I found it." She removed the note from its concealment. "I have a note for you from… a friend." She handed him the note.
Raoul opened it, noting the safety pin.
**To the Vicomte De Changy:**
**You probably, no doubt, recall ****the four times I tried to prematurely end your life; even if one was unintentional, I set the trap, so the fault is still mine. Firstly, after having time to reflect on the events, I would like to somewhat congratulate you on your engagement to Miss Daae. I wish you the best of luck, and there is only one final demand, if you will, that I have of you before I depart my ghostly alias.**
**I request that you be good to Christine, and indeed be her shelter, and lead her past her fears. **
**One last thing, keep working on your swordsmanship; you only won because the blade slipped out of my glove, at least that is what I think.**
**I remain your former rival,**
**O.G.**
_**Present-**_**1919**
Raoul sighed softly, standing still.
Through the silence, he thought he heard the enchanted violin playing the tune to his vow to his love in song. But, he knew somehow that it was no illusion and that it was another of The Phantom's Phases.
* * *
**DH: **I hope you liked this story. I will write more in this area, but it may be a while. I thank all of you who have read this. It really makes me happy.
End file.
| fanfiction |
Fallout The Compound-An Unfinished story by Ryuksan
The Compound
As the sun rose over the ruins of D.C. Harry watched from his post as the super mutants shambled out of their dens and holes. He readied his custom built sniper rifle and aimed at the nearest mutant to the walls of The Compound. He watched and waited, wandering if the beast was going to try to enter The Compound or just go about its day. He had never had problems with their kind before but it was better safe than sorry. As he mused over the idea of an attack the mutant, completely oblivious to the small glowing red dot that was currently centered on his right kneecap, began to pick his nose. "Ugh" Harry muttered under his breath "muties really do have no shame". A crackle came over the in headset he had installed inside his scavenged brotherhood power armor's helmet. "You got that right pal" said James. James and Harry had been in The Compound for four years now, working in shifts to keep it safe while they slaved away at trying to repair the machinery that lay below. The machinery that could change the future of the wasteland for the better, if they could get it to function to its full potential.
James had stumbled upon The Compound as a refugee from Tenpenny tower, where he had been driven out by a ghoul hating crowd led by a vault dweller. He had found The Machine beneath while exploring the area to check if it was occupied. When he had first activated it, it had surprised him by spewing out a thick green mush which he found to be edible. Harry had arrived a few years later, beaten bruised and starving, a victim of raiders attacks. James had taken pity on the poor man and allowed him entry to The Compound. On seeing Harry's Pip-Boy 3000, emblazoned with the symbol of a vault 12 technician, he had taken him to the machine in the hopes that he may know something about it.
End file.
| fanfiction |
Star Fox 1. Chapter 1
**Going back through Doc Manager and getting most of the typos and little kinks out of this story. Even if you have already read it before please feel free to review! XD**
* * *
CHAPTER 1
Billie Shade, the famous now ex bounty hunter looked around the Sargasso base as various criminals and ex bounty hunters like herself scrambled around in a panic trying to make repairs. The place looked like a pissed off ex employee had come through with a blaster.
"So, I take it this isn't how this place usually looks?" She said jokingly to her new boss.
The lupine shot her daggers with his good eye, then turned and said "This way. I'll show you where you'll be crashing during your time here."
"No sense of humor…" She thought to herself. Billie didn't even know why she had taken him up on his offer to join Star Wolf. Spur of the moment decision really, however her life had never maintained any real direction so it was of no consequence. After all;
"I do have all the time in the galaxy." She finished her thought.
The infamous Wolf O'Donnell still had one hell of a steep bounty on his head. But this now ex-bounty hunter no longer had need to care. She was his underling now. He stopped in a hallway void of windows, or light; just light enough to see the doors all the way down to the end.
"My room is the one all the way at the end, Leon's is this first one. You can choose any other. Figured I'd let the new lady choose before Panther."
"Oh, what a gentleman." She said sarcastically.
"Just stay in my good graces girly." He shot back not liking her tone.
"So Panther is new as well… Why are you recruiting so heavily all of a sudden Mr. O'Donnell?" she asked innocently, trying to be polite.
"Mr. O'Donnell? So polite, just call me Wolf. And a while back I had to lay some people off… it left something of a void in my life."
"Oh I see, what did they do to piss you off?"
"Let's just say we had some ethical, and economic differences and leave it at that." He said flatly.
"Got it."
"Ah, so she can be taught."
"It's hard to find decent help these days isn't it Mr. uhm Wolf?" She corrected herself.
"Yes. But I'm hoping with a reputation like yours you won't turn out to be such a bitter disappointment; Welcome to Star Wolf."
"Thanks. I think…" she said as he began to walk into the distance barking orders at Panther and Leon.
Billie looked from room to room, cracking the doors slightly ajar to peek in.
"Dudgie place." She muttered as she strolled down the hallway. She chose a relatively small room, one room down from Wolf's; simply for the fact that the interior looked like the cleanest one to her. Heaving a tired sigh, she plopped onto the bed and began replaying the events that took place hours earlier.
* * *
Billie Shade had been sitting in some dank bar full of low lives, right on the end of the Lylat system. Beating any, and every man willing to challenge her to an arm wrestling match. They all under estimated her because she was a woman; not that she gave two shits. It was just an easy way to make some coin in between nabbing bounties, and it had been a long time since she got one that was worth the pay. One after the other, the poor bastards marched to their defeat at the hands of the lady lupine. Although mostly a white lupine, she did have a brownish black blaze running up her muzzle, which ran up around her eyes almost like thick eyeliner. Her irises matched her deep black hair which although hung down to the backs of her thighs these days, was always in a loose braid that she wrapped around her neck like a scarf. Every man met their doom, and payed what they had bet. It is here that her deep, dark eyes caught a sight that would alter her life forever. Every bounty hunter was aware of Wolf O'Donnell, or more importantly: his bounty. Veteran of the Venom army with a bounty that followed him from it. She looked to either side of him to other recognizable faces; Panther Caroso, and Leon Powalski. But she only wanted the prize in the middle.
"My lucky day…" She said slamming some poor man's arm down to the table as he groaned in defeat and paid up.
"If only he were alone." She thought watching them approach the bar tender. They weren't there to drink, it looked like they were getting some kind of info.
"Hmm…" she said hatching a plan. Very nonchalantly, she stood up put her hands in her pockets and strolled slowly out of the bar into the ship lot. She spotted the famous Wolfen in a matter of seconds. If there was one thing Billie knew, it was ships.
"Has to be it." She said climbing up to sit on the glass of the cockpit. "And now we play the waiting game." She looked down at her palms, wondering what would become of her if she failed this one. From what she'd heard about Mr. O'Donnell; he took no prisoners.
"It doesn't matter…" she muttered under her breath. "Either way I win."
Not too long after that she saw the three figures she had been waiting for emerge from the bar. They headed in her direction, and as they drew close she made herself known.
"Well, well, well…" as she spoke they stopped and looked up to her. "Turns out you're not so hard to find Mr. O'Donnell. You are Wolf O'Donnell, are you not?" she asked in a sly voice jumping down in front of them; she landed on all fours with a soft plop.
"Who's asking?" Wolf said in a gruff tone.
"Billie Shade." Was all she said as she stood up straight pulling out her pistol.
"Billie Shade?" Leon said "The bounty hunter?"
"Can't be..." Panther said smoothly "I had heard that the Radical Billie Shade was a man. It couldn't be this, fetching woman before us."
"My parents wanted a boy okay?!" she exclaimed in a fluster. Everyone who had heard of her reputation assumed that she was a man, it drove her nuts. But she couldn't hate it too much because most of her bounty's couldn't pull her out of a crowd because of it.
"But the point is…" she calmed herself "I am Radical Billie, and I'm taking you down Mr. O'Donnell."
"Humph." A sly smile seemed to cross Wolf's lips in that moment. "Put that down, before you get hurt."
"Oh please don't start." She said annoyed from repetition.
"You really think you can take all three of us?" Leon exclaimed almost laughing.
"YES!" Billie said incredibly annoyed by him. "I can already tell, Wolf there is just like every other jackass I've ever hauled in. You killed the wrong guy, you stole from the wrong guy, you slept with the wrong guys wife!" she spat looking from Leon, to Wolf, and then Panther as she did so. "Guess what? I. DON'T. CARE. And while I expect gun threats mean very little to someone with your war record Mr. O'Donnell; you are still just like all the rest."
"And how's that?" He asked seeming amused.
"They always start off cocky; like the sun just shines out of their ass. They ask me to put the gun down; try to be all buddy, buddy. And then thinking it will be easy to beat me because I'm a woman they ask for hand to hand combat. Then when I start laying them out; they run!" She paused… "You can run Star Wolf, but I will catch you. And when I do you'll try to reason with me, and when that fails you may even try to flirt with me, and then when that fails you will get on your knees and beg me to let you go. Then I'll knock you unconscious, you will awaken several hours later in a jail cell, and I shall be long gone with my money."
The three just stood there in a shocked silence. Then Wolf let out a low deep laugh, Billie perked up her ears and gritted her teeth.
"So…" Wolf began "she is a bounty hunter after all."
Billie aimed her gun right at his leg, ready to immobilize him.
"I tell you what Radical Billie, you put that gun down and we **will **do hand to hand combat."
"Tch." Billie said through gritted teeth.
"But, it's not in me to run from a fight; so if you win, we'll come quietly."
"WE?" Panther and Leon exclaimed. Billie stared into his one eye, he looked sincere enough, for a criminal. Her white tail twitched a bit not knowing yet what to make of him. But she holstered her gun.
"Okay Mr. O'Donnell. Have it your way."
"Rip her to pieces Wolf!" Leon exclaimed.
Panther chimed in; "Do be careful Wolf, I believe this rose has thorns."
Billie struck her stance: feet apart to keep balance, arms protecting her center. She was ready, or so she thought. Wolf moved in a gray flash. She barely caught his hand as he sent it heel first into her stomach. Hardly able to hold his massive clawed hand in place as it dwarfed her hands so she twisted his wrist before his other hand barreling towards her head. Thinking fast she cart wheeled backwards, giving him a kick in the chin with her steel toed combat boot. She heard him grunt in pain, but when the cart wheels were finished he wasn't in front of her; she looked up to see his large frame shooting down from above her. Reflexively she put her arms up side to side protecting her head. They took the blow of his fists as he pegged her, then she heard his feet touch the ground. Lifting her arms to her side, she slammed her palms into his ears; he coiled back from the wringing pain. Not missing the opportunity she sent her right hook towards his good eye. He caught it and squeezed, she moaned with pain then sent her left knee into his abdomen. He hooked the bottom of her thigh with his other hand and pulled up. She fell backward, and her head hit the pavement. She laid there in a daze, then felt weight on top of her; Wolf straddled her and held her hands over her head with his right hand, and wrapped the left around her neck.
"It's over." He said looming over her.
She looked at him, still slightly dazed and trying to suck in air.
"Damn..it…" she sputtered in his grip.
"Good, now finish her Wolf!" Leon called from behind them.
Then Wolf heard something he never expected.
"Just do it…" She managed to get out.
"What? Kill you?" He looked down at his prey.
She closed her eyes and didn't struggle any farther.
"How interesting…" Wolf then released her throat. She instantly coughed and gasped for sweet oxygen.
"Why are you a bounty hunter?" He asked the still pinned lupine. "Money? Currency?"
"No, *gasp* it's just *wheeze* all I know how to do."
"I see." Wolf leaned his head to the side, and looked up like he was considering something.
"Look if you're gonna kill me just make it quick already!" She said annoyed at him.
"Ha-ha, easy there." Wolf released her hands and stood up.
"Don't toy with me!" Billie spat as he offered her his hand.
"I wasn't. I believe in civility among seasoned warriors." Wolf meant that, his jaw hurt like hell and his ears still had a ring.
"How would you like a better paying job?" he said as she sat up.
"You mean, on Star Wolf?"
"I could use someone of your talents. It's tough building up a solid reputation in the bounty hunting game."
"Having a woman on the team would be a breath of fresh air." Said Panther from behind them.
Billie sat in thought for a moment… then she looked up to the tall Wolf and took his large hand. He pulled her to her feet, and they walked her to her ship.
As the memory closed, Billie laid in bed and put her hand to her achy neck.
"If he had wanted to snap my neck in two it would have taken little to no effort on his part…" she thought.
"So why didn't you?" she said aloud to the silence.
2. Chapter 2
CHAPTER 2
Minutes ticked by, and Billie had settled into her new abode quite nicely. She dolled up the place a bit rearranging furniture, the three pieces that were there; her bed a three legged table and an old fold out chair, in such a way it covered up some of the grimier areas. All she owned in the world was in her suitcase she'd taken out of her ship. She set it on the table, then came a tapping at her open door.
"Hi Panther." She turned to face him.
"Hello my dear." He said with his usual cool voice. "I haven't been here long myself, but I thought you might enjoy a tour. This place is quite large; I wouldn't want you to get lost."
"That's actually a good idea." She said ignoring the fact his tone always came off like a flirt. She guessed it was just his usual demeanor.
The two trotted down the hallway, then came to a leisurely pace where Panther would explain what corridors led to where. And whatever the area was generally used for. When they arrived in the cafeteria full of what Billie thought looked like sock monkeys with their shades on, Panther began to complain about the quality of the food, but Billie was tuning him out as thoughts swarmed around her head. She looked out at a starry window, seeing her reflection lay among a lovely golden nebula off in the distance.
"What are you doing Billie?" her thoughts prodded at her. "It took you years to build up your reputation among bounty hunters, to stand out from the mobs of them, why join these…" The thought grew fuzzy and she dwelled on it no more.
As Panther then led her back out to the ship deck, they walked by Wolfens, and small vessels belonging to various sock monkeys. She looked to hers, only to see Leon and Wolf standing around it talking about something. As she approached their voices became clear.
"I can honestly say I have never seen a ship like hers before, it's quite impressive. In many ways it's like an upgraded Wolfen… but I honestly can't put my finger on the structural design, or where these strange parts are from. They all look like custom jobs." Leon said to Wolf tapping the haul. "I would love to see what the engine looks like, or what this thing can do."
Wolf looked up at the vehicle, it was certainly shaped like a Wolfen but it's four large wings curved around in a semi circle, spanning out in a sort of X shape from the front. In the middle of them were several turrets; the model of which he could not place. The cockpit was also considerably larger than most Wolfens or Arwings. Everything about it was strange, unfamiliar to the Lylat system. The paint job matched Billie though, sleek black, with white wings, black spanning the tips. But no distinguishable markings, no brand names, not even a pair of initials.
"Like it?" Wolf turned around to see his newest member standing behind him.
"Where the hell did you get something like this?" He asked looking back up at it.
"Made it. She's my baby!" Billie said leaning on the lower wing. "From scratch; this old bird is 100% recycled parts.
"From scratch?" Wolf said on the verge of sounding impressed.
"Yeah, mostly scrap. I like working with metals."
"And the guns?" Leon said admiring their craft.
"Yeah, made those too; my own design. The efficiency of a blaster, with less than half the charge time."
"Impressive… for a custom job." Wolf began "This project must have taken quite some time."
"Little ways under a decade." She said to him quickly, revealing no more.
"I should put you to work upgrading my Wolfen." He said not liking being dismissed.
"Sure I'll have a look at your lasers; see what I can do, no promises."
"Well, looks like Wolf was right. This Radical Billie will be good for business." Leon chattered.
Billie looked at Wolf with one eyebrow raised. Without missing a beat he looked around at his wrecked base.
"There's plenty of scrap here for you to use." He said meeting her wit.
"Yeah, I noticed… so what the hell came through here?"
"An annoyance called Fox. You'll probably meet him soon enough…" Wolf looked enraged for a moment.
"Take it he aint' your BFF?" Billie joked.
"Humph." Wolf let off not amused. It almost sounded like a growl.
"You have your first assignment, get to it. Panther! Leon! Come with me." He said as he walked away in a huff. More do to the condition of his base than to her.
"Yeah, I'll… get on that." She whispered it for some reason. Leon just headed straight in Wolf's direction. Panther shot her a friendly smile, and then did the same. Billie looked over at the Wolfen in question.
"Good thing I keep my tools in my ship…" she said not so enthused about her first assignment.
* * *
As Wolf and the others made their way around the Sargasso zone; surveying the damage Star Fox had left in their search for his ex member Wolf kept swearing under his breath.
"So, about Billie-" Panther started but Wolf cut him off.
"No, I don't care if you ask her out."
"No sir, you know my heart belongs to the lovely Krystal."
"Ha!" Leon said amused. Panther ignored him and continued.
"Why are you so trusting of her so suddenly? I mean, letting her in after she tried to ambush us like that? Then showing her the base, and letting her pull apart your Wolfen."
In that moment Wolf came to a halt.
"Not that I'm questioning your authority. Panther knows you always think ahead, but some- not me- are wondering, why add a bounty hunter, to a gang of criminals?"
But Wolf wasn't even hearing him; he was surveying the base. Calculating repair costs in his head.
"Damnit." He growled.
"Panther is sorry Lord O'Donnell sir."
"Not you damnit!" Wolf shot back. "We are gonna need a huge fucking job to get this place back up to snuff."
"Maybe the new recruit Panther was just questioning you about, knows her way around transfer devices like these?" Leon suggested. Panther shot him a look.
"Alright, you two lunkheads take inventory of all that's been broken. I'm going to have a word with the new recruit."
Wolf then proceeded to angrily storm away. Panther looked at Leon as if to say 'what the hell'. Leon just laughed manically.
* * *
Meanwhile, as Billie was cleaning and making an excellent addition to one of Wolf's turrets; rock music was jamming out of her baby's speakers. She was actually a little impressed with herself, she had done the work on it quite quickly, maybe because she was a little nervous at her new job here and wanted to make a good first impression. The key elements with any good laser gun were basic, heat and precision. After giving his turret a good cleaning she opened up the barrel and redid some circuitry. Her own little recipe, for stronger shots, although it used more energy, that had never been an issue on her ship, for a long time ago she had developed her own recipe for long lasting dark matter fuel. Not that she would ever tell anyone.
"I'll take that secret to my grave for sure." She said aloud to no one. "But I do so love taking these little rotary engines apart." She loved to tinker, to find out what made machinery tick. And she was liking what she was seeing from this Wolfen; it looked like some kind of genius had put it together. "Wonder where the hell you got this Mr. O'Donnell." She thought remembering his prying earlier. After reattaching everything and making sure all was sturdy and in its place; she whipped her braid over her shoulder and strolled back to her baby swinging her toolbox and singing along to the song, badly.
Wolf had come to a full stop as he saw the spectacle in front of him. Billie who had taken her jacket off to work, in a little black shirt with a tad too much cleavage that showed off another brownish black blaze up her chest; just barley inching up to her neck, dancing around like a lunatic; singing along to Blue Oyster Cult's Burning for You, and swaying those hips. For a moment he found himself staring at her rear end in those tight white jeans, with the three black stripes curving out from above her tail and curving around her natural curve in just the right way. He closed his eyes and shook his head to snap out of it.
Then she went into the cockpit of her baby and started singing louder as she put her tools away. She still didn't notice him standing there… and while she was nice to look at; she could not hold a tune. Wolf looked over at the little work station she had set up on his Wolfen's wing.
"She works fast, I'll give her that." He said under his breath in the pause that comes with a song change. When she started singing Twighlight Zone he couldn't take it anymore.
"BILLIE!" He shouted over the music and walked towards her.
Billie's head shot up from her seat in the ship and she turned the music off and leaned over the side looking down at him.
"Oh, uhm… hello sir… uhm how long were you standing there?" She said in a shaky voice fiddling with her braid nervously.
"Long enough." He said as his lips tugged up into a smirk.
Billie put her hand over her face and sunk down into her seat.
"I uhm… like the set up of your weaponry, and I gave your left gun some extra oomph." She said getting over the awkwardness. "Won't fire as rapidly but it will be stronger, much stronger. I only had time to get to your left one though…"
"Even so that's some pretty fast work."
"Really?" Billie beamed and shot her head back up. "I find the key of rock makes the time slow for me I used some wiring I salvaged from some kind of transfer device, over there… it was broken. I knew you wouldn't mind."
"So you do know your way around those?"
"Yeah, well basic circuitry anyways… why do you ask?"
"Can you fix several of them?"
Billie stood up and wrapped her braid around her neck once again. "I can try."
"Alright, I have Leon and Panther taking inventory as we speak; You can discuss it with them tomorrow. For the moment…" he trailed off before he could ask her to get to work on his other turret, looking at her greasy hands and her tools everywhere. It had been a long time since Wolf O'Donnell had found himself impressed. Of course he would test the quality of her work later but for now, he remained impressed. "Why don't you get some sleep, it's been one hell of a long day."
"Oh, sure… uhm." She was a bit shocked at those words. And then found herself wondering if he wasn't the ruthless brute he had led on before.
"If you're hungry help yourself to something in the cafeteria." He said as he turned and walked away.
"Well, thank you!" she called after him. He didn't stop, just raised one hand into the air to acknowledge that he had heard.
"Hmmm…" She stood up in her ships cockpit and watched until she could see him no more. "Star Wolf huh. I can get used to it I guess."
3. Chapter 3
CHAPTER 3
The next morning Billie awoke with a tumble off of her bed, not unusual; since she often had a variety of strange, vivid dreams. With a solid drool line running across the right side of her face leaving crust in her fur she got to her feet.
"Mehhh…" She groaned with a sore back. "Great, that's all I need…" She continued to mumble and swear under her breath down the hallway until she made her way into the bathroom.
There was nothing wrong with her, she just hated mornings, hated the groggy blur they came with upon first arising from the realm of sleep. As a matter of fact she was still in that delightful state of mind, where one thinks they are still sleeping and has no recollection of memories other than where the bathroom is. It wasn't until she laid her eyes on the showers; side to side separated by nothing but waist high walls that the memories of what had transpired the day before finally came back to her, like a bad penny.
"Shit." She said undoing her braid. "Shit, shit, shiiii…" she went on recalling she might very well be the only female in this entire place. Luckily, it was early; now mind you when it came to nudity, Billie wasn't shy; however she still didn't know what most of these criminals were here for exactly, and being the only woman she didn't think she could fight them all, and didn't care to press her luck. She was merely being cautious. There was a metal rack at the end of the line of showers containing several kinds of cleansers and shampoos, as well as some questionable towels. She grabbed a couple of items and showered as quickly as possible.
Afterwards in her towel she wandered back down the hallway to her bedroom, all of her thick black hair clumping up with the water down to her thighs. She whistled a little 'Don't Fear the Reaper'. Wolf heard the whistling as he was coming out of his room, and caught the toweled Billie opening the door to her room and disappearing inside. He walked down the hall only to see her door wide open still; she was combing through her thick locks with a white comb, it caught Wolf's eye for a moment; it looked old, missing a prong. Had the sort of look like it had been carved from bone. At that moment it dawned on him how very little he actually knew of his new recruit, he decided it was time to probe; and began by clearing his throat.
"Hey boss." She said in a calm voice, turning to him continuing her grooming.
"How long did it take you to grow that mess?" He asked trying to pinpoint her age.
"Quite a long time." She answered being as vague as possible. And Wolf didn't miss that fact. The battle of wits spun into motion.
"I usually make a point to get to know as much as possible about my team members."
"Is that before or after you hire them?" She said in a lightly snarky tone as she tossed the comb to her bed and began to replace her braid.
Wolf began to feel a bit annoyed with her. He propped himself against her doorway with his arms crossed and tried to get something out of her.
"Where do you come from?"
"Quite far from here."
"Here, being the Lylat system?"
"Yup."
"How old are you?" He tried a more direct approach.
"About your age, I imagine."
At that moment Wolf began to feel enraged, she was purposely dancing around his questions; in his mind trying to annoy him on purpose. "While in a towel…" suddenly popped into his mind. She was facing away from him now, wrapping her completed braid around her neck. He stared at the curve of her back, and couldn't tell if his blood pressure was rising do to that, or how annoying she was being deliberately. And Billie wanting to get off this whole subject decided to use the towel as an excuse.
"I gotta get dressed now," She turned her head to him. "You gonna watch?" She said with that sarcastic tone he hated.
"Next time, try not leaving your door open girly." He turned around and slammed it shut.
"Geez…" Billie thought. "Maybe he is a hardass after all."
Wolf stood on the other side of the door, with his thumb and forefinger on his temples letting his rage slowly drop. Not only had he not gotten anything out of her, but he was pretty sure she won this round.
"What is wrong with me?" he angrily thought at himself. Usually when it came to interrogation methods, he was as hard and composed as a statue. But this Radical Billie Shade knew exactly how to get under his skin, FAST. And he didn't like it. He walked down the hallway with that same old enraged took in his eye, looked out from one of the elevated pathways of his Sargasso zone at their ships thinking about what had just happened.
"She wasn't even that witty…" he thought out loud. She just knew how to distract him.
"Damnit, this is what I get for adding a woman to the team."
* * *
**I apologize for the shortness of this chapter; i shall not be letting that happen again.**
4. Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
Once Billie was dressed in her usual white and black scheme, she threw on her favorite jacket, a black garment with red stitching and two short tails that fell around her own tail nicely. She moved to the door; the embarrassing incident with Wolf five minutes ago was still fresh in her head. She quietly put her hand on the doorknob; she stopped for a moment looking at her black nails half wondering if he would be waiting for her out there, and half wondering why they still had doors with knobs in this place. It seemed so out of date. Slowly she cracked the door only sticking enough of herself out to survey the hallway: floors and walls, nothing more. She exhaled the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and stepped out, this time making sure to always close her door behind her. Then she made a leisurely stroll to find herself some food.
Leon looked at the amount of food on her tray in shock, and his jaw lay agape in horror as she scarffed down what he assumed was some sort of meat far more quickly than she should have.
"You… eat a lot, for a female." He finally found those words as he watched her eat like a whirlwind. She took a big gulp of water and came up for air.
"I'm just eating like this because I've been eating paste out of a tube for far too long!" She said it with happy excitement; then immediately went back to stuffing her face like a musket.
"I see," Leon said as he sharpened his knife in what Billie assumed was instead of eating. "So you can actually stomach that grotesque artificial crap?"
"It's cheap." She said flatly.
"Having trouble out there were you Radical Billie?"
"I could easily ask the same of you. No offense to my new employer of course but; I've been looking around this old hunk of metal and I gotta say it aint' exactly the Four Seasons."
"Yes well, we had some trouble rather close to home recently." He said holding up his knife admiring its fresh sharpness. "Honestly Wolf has really had to start from scratch with you and Panther."
"So I take it you're a senior member?"
"Yessss." The lizard hissed with an uncomfortable sort of grin. "I've known Wolf quite a long time, and I have been here since Star Wolf's creation."
"Does that make you my superior?" she shot over jokingly.
"I suppose it does, I hope you don't turn out to be the bitter disappointment I think you'll be."
Billie put her elbows up on the table and rested her smirking face on the backs of her hands. "Or what?"
"Or I'll jam this into your belly, and watch you bleed out; like a stuck pig." He snickered returning to his sharpening.
"Hmm… you're kind of, off aren't you?"
"Hehehe, oh you'll find we all are here."
"Speak for yourself reptile." Came a familiar smooth voice from behind. "As for the lovely Billie." Panther said taking the seat next to hers; he the handed her a piece of paper with some chicken scratch scribbled on it.
"What's this junk?" she said reading it as best she could.
"A list of important electronics that were damaged during the Star Fox raid. Wolf said to let our new mechanic have a look, and to be ready to ride out upon his return."
"Oh, okay. So who is Star Fox?"
"Leon could tell you more about them than I could; I only really know that my future wife works for them presently."
"Bwahaha! Oh stop it Panther you're killing me." Leon said not even looking up from this sharpening. "But I suppose I should clue you in since you will definitely run into them working for us, sooner or later. Star Wolf, and Star Fox have had a long bitter history together. I know for a fact that Wolf had a little grudge with Fox's predecessor before I even met him."
"What kind of grudge?" Billie asked.
"I don't know he doesn't like to talk about it. I tried to ask once, repeatedly; Wolf nearly took my head off." He said a bit too gleefully. "But I will tell you that from what I have seen, it is definitely a personal vendetta. I wouldn't ask if I were either of you, but we will cross paths with them soon enough: and then I once and for all will plunge this very knife into the back of a certain, blue bird!"
Billie and Panther both looked at each other, then back to Leon and his incessant sharpening.
"Riiiight… So then, where is Wolf?" She said remembering the towel incident.
"He had errands to run, contacts to meet; he's doing everything he can to try and rake in some money to fix the mess that Star Fox caused. Oh and he said he had to get some new toys for all of us, don't know what that was about. But he was clear when he said make sure Billie is ready to leave when I get back." Panther said.
"New toys huh…"
"Indeed milady."
With that Billie got up and went to look at the items on the list she'd been given, since she couldn't read it with excellent accuracy. Not to mention being around Leon's sharpening could be a bit unnerving.
* * *
Meanwhile Wolf was coasting his way through an asteroid field; he always had to take that way while in close proximity to Corneria to avoid the damned police.
"At least I got someone who really knows their tech." He said admiring Billie's handiwork as he blasted through oncoming asteroids. He was headed back to Sargasso and was actually taking his time; there was something therapeutic about blowing up giant rocks, hearing them break then watching the pieces scatter seemingly running away from you. But he could definitely see visible performance differences in the laser she had worked on, compared to the one she hadn't. It was smoother and stronger like a blaster at near full charge but, it was a bit slower than his other laser. He wondered if that was the reason she had multiple gun turrets on her ship. He found himself smirking a bit at that, he was going to have to really put her to work on their Wolfens next; after the base was back to its former glory. Not very glorified though, even in its prime. Everything had gone to crap after he'd joined the venom army, once a mighty solider he now felt like some common guttersnipe; scrounging around for work where there was little to be found. With that thought he blasted through another asteroid that was not even in his path. He growled in a low tone trying to banish these lingering thoughts from his head. And before he knew it he was within visual of his sad little base.
He pulled into the port and saw Billie coming down the open elevator, she and Leon were surrounded by what looked like random machine parts and they seemed to be arguing. Wolf landed his craft and got out as they approached what looked like another of Billie's work stations. They didn't even acknowledge his presence as they continued in their debate.
"Well Leon how many times did I ask for a socket wrench?"
"Well I handed you the only wrench that was there. Besides after that jump I got I didn't want to help you anymore, you're the mechanic not me!"
"I'm sorry Leon I didn't know it would give you a shock, or I would have thrown a sock monkey on it."
"But did you have to throw the wrench at me?"
"It slipped…" She said wagging her tail back and forth quickly.
"Do I dare to ask?" Wolf said to Panther who had joined him in watching.
"You pretty much just got the whole story." He returned. "So how did it go?"
"Without a hitch, got the pay and spent it on some things for our new mechanic. They're in the cargo bay of my Wolfen."
"Did you find out what you wanted to?" Panther asked as they walked away from the endless debate.
"Not exactly no. I asked everyone I could find in that stupid hollow asteroid. Some black market," Wolf gruffed lifting a heavy box. "Can't even get decent rumors."
"Anything worth mention? Anything at all?"
Wolf thought back; the first person he had asked had been some old black cat pedaling stolen ship parts.
"Radical Billie?" she said perking up her tattered ears. "I hear the guy is like seven feet tall! With a piercing black gaze that can chill you to the bone."
"Oooookay." Wolf said and asked several other dealers in the market plaza. All he got was outrageous survivor stories.
"Oh I heard that Radical Billie can hack right into your ships weapon system, make it useless."
"Well I heard, Billie Shade can leap out of your shadow, you'll never see him coming, not until he gets yah man!"
"I hear that guy isn't even from this galaxy…"
"Oh yea that Billie guy, I hear no one's ever gotten away from him. Not unless he killed them. He's got this fancy ship, it's way beyond anything the Cornerian government has ever come up with."
Then the time roll in Wolf's memory stopped and he simply said:
"Nothing worth mentioning."
"Too bad." Panther said.
They finished unloading the boxes and looked over to see how the bickering was going, and they saw Billie and Leon getting along once again, like they hadn't ever argued.
"So what's in the boxes?" She asked as she came their way and Leon walked away.
"You'll worry about these later. Right now, these are for you." Wolf opened one of the smaller boxes and pulled out some fancy communication headgear and handed her one.
"Wow these are nice." She said strapping it to the right side of her head and letting the red lens flip over her eye.
"I know a guy." Wolf said tapping the side of his e-patch. "The point is if we all have these we can keep in contact even while far from our ships."
"Cool." Billie looked at him through her red lens, and then had it flip back inside the gear.
"I'll take one to Leon shall I?" Panther said grabbing the extra and strolling away. "Have fun you two."
"Oh yea, I almost forgot, we are going somewhere?"
"Don't sound so surprised, it's nothing personal; I always take my new pilots out for a little test drive. Let's see if you impress."
Billie grabbed her jacket that had been hung over the side of her baby's wing. The pilots both got in their vehicles and fired them up.
"Ready when you are." She said opening a chat via ship.
"Try to keep up."
"Same to you."
The engines revved with combustion and they shot out of Sargasso never breaking radius from each other, in an impressively quick yet well timed double helix pattern. They went onward into the emptiness of space, destination unknown.
5. Chapter 5
CHAPTER 5
They jettisoned on through the cosmos like pure windy light; headed towards the apparent direction of the golden nebula Billie had admired once before. Never breaking their helix they left the patterns imprint on the blackness of space as they rode on and on until the Sargasso Space Zone was just a small dot behind them.
"Not that this isn't fun, but where exactly are we headed?" Billie said bringing her ship to a stalled pace following Wolf's example.
"We are already here." He smirked to her face in the chat screen.
"What- WHOA!" she had to maneuver fast as an asteroid drifted slowly over her ship. "This is asteroid field!" she said looking around flustered.
"Is that a hint of nervousness I'm detecting from Radical Billie? I thought bounty hunters had to be ready for anything."
"Pfft, bounty hunting is simple, criminals are predictable. Asteroids make me nervous, you never know what way those fuckers are gonna decide to fly. And what do you know of me before I joined Star Wolf anyways?"
"Oh just some rumors…" Useless rumors." He thought rolling his eyes. No one was even sure if Billie was a man or a woman out there. "And that in itself is the problem girly."
"Oh my God, did you hear that one about how they think I'm seven feet tall?" she snickered over the line.
Wolf just made a sort of gruff growling noise.
Billie cleared her throat remembering his lack of a sense of humor.
"Anyways, in my opinion there is no better way to find out about someone than in an asteroid field." He said jetting his ship off to the center.
"Hide and seek then?" She said following slowly.
"Problem is, you are the one who is going to be doing the hiding!" he said and opened fire on her.
"EEK!" very quickly she went into a set of barrel rolls avoiding his shots. The round ex shape of her wings made a perfect sphere of a shield as she rolled; this was not missed on Wolf who now understood the reason for the odd shape.
"Are you crazy Wolf?" she said coming to a still and looking to where his ship had been, but he was nowhere to be seen.
"Stay on your toes." He said reappearing from behind a large asteroid.
Billie did a flip before he could get off a shot. The she pulled the throttle and disappeared into the field of stones.
"So it begins." Wolf said going after her.
The massive shadowy structures combined with the cold darkness of space made for a very intimidating field for them to play this little game. Wolf was aware of the risks, but he had tried a direct approach before and gotten nowhere; now he was going to get as much out of Billie as he could, her flight technique and her combat skills. And maybe even something about her. His eyes scanned for her ship in every direction; he tried is radar, but there was too much rock: too much interference. Billie was having the same problem, but she wasn't just going to cower and wait to be found, she was trying to get the jump on him.
"Come out, come out where ever you are." His deep voice rang in over her speakers, she felt sweat bead on her forehead and then heard his engine trugging by just behind the rock mass in front of her. She armed her turrets, and listened… listened, until… he was directly in front of her. Then she slammed her thumbs down on the turret buttons; under each top wing there were four turret barrels, eight in all and although slow, they were powerful. Wolf turned his head at the noise of them crashing through the rocks, they fired in line, starting from the barrels closest to the center then working their way out; making for a constant stream of bright red spheres headed his way.
He swirled and looped away as best he could, but still managed to take a shot. Billie tailed him until he looped back; for one second he looked down at her in her cockpit, and she looked up at him in his. And the next he was directly behind her.
"Good Billie, but I'm better." He opened fire.
"AHHHGH!" Billie barrel rolled straight downward taking a few shots but missing the majority of them. He ceased fire, then much to Wolf's surprise she made a quick recovery and fired her way through an asteroid. She disappeared once again.
"Oh that is it!" she said in aggravation over chat. "You can screw with me all you like, but nobody; and I mean **nobody** messes with my baby!"
"What the hell?" he said shocked to see her coming at him from directly in front of him; at the same time the two opened fire. They spun and looped around, avoiding almost every shot each one fired at the other; they drew closer and closer and what neither one realized about the other is, that they were smiling. Then at the very last possible moment, they both turned their ships vertically and swooshed by the other, by about one inch. Then they brought their ships back around and came to a halt, they were both a little damaged, but they stared each other down in silence assessing the damage to the other ones ship and the at that moment; Billie burst out in laughter over chat.
"That was soooo fun!" she said through her laughter.
Wolf just closed his eyes and let that old smirk paint its way onto his face. Not that he cared to admit it, especially not in the heat of the battle but he had been enjoying himself. And it was in that moment that Wolf decided, the skilled pilot/mechanic before him was a perfect addition to Star Wolf, and he didn't need to know any more about her than that.
"So is it over already?" She said not wanting the fun to stop.
"Yeah, I think the test is over. Besides that little test isn't the only reason I dragged you out here."
"It isn't?" she said moving her ship closer to his.
"No, you were a bounty hunter for a long time; tell me are you familiar with a place called the Smuggler's Rock?"
"You mean that hollowed out dwarf planet, hidden in the massive ice patch near Fichina? Place was practically my bread and butter, I'm well known over there; they'd want my head on a silver plate there, ha!" Then her black tipped ears drooped in realization "…Why?"
Wolf smirked at her over chat.
"Damnit all to hell; we are doing a job there aren't we?"
"Nah, just a pickup; more of a shakedown really. One of my connections is owed money from this establishment and we are going to go get it."
"Okay… but I'm gonna keep my hood up." She said following his Wolfen out of the asteroid field.
* * *
About an hour later Fichina was right behind them and they were keeping a sterling pace for the ice way off in the distance. As they drew in close to the ice Wolf opened a chat line what he heard was Billie, but singing along **badly** to the song 'Layla'.
"Billie… Billie… BILLIE!"
"Oh, heya, we are getting close huh?" she said shutting off her music.
"Billie, I don't mind that you listen to music. But you have to stop singing along."
At first she looked offended, but then she thought on it for a moment and nodded in agreement. It was more like howling than singing really...
"Now down to business, I assume you know where the Smuggler's Rock is?"
"Sure do, It can be tricky to find because there is so much interference from the ice, the trick is to just go forward, you're going to have to dodge ice like you would asteroids though so just try to stay as straight and level as possible. Wait have you never been here before?"
"Nope." He said. "Figured a practiced bounty hunter had though; so I saved this one instead of doing it earlier." He finished going over a massive drifting ice spear.
"Good plan, so what quadrant are we headed for?" she said tucking her braid back into her hood. It came down to her eyebrows casting a concealing shadow over the top half of her face.
Wolf tapped his e-patch and brought up the directions, then sent it to her new headgear. Billie flipped out her red lens and studied Wolf's attachment.
"Oh, I know that place. There's a really nice bar right near the port."
"Nothing social, we get in, we get out. I don't want someone to recognize you then get into a dog fight."
"Yes Lord O'Donnell." She said sounding serious, but he knew she worded it that way to test his patience.
Moments later Wolf looked upon a titanic ice cluster a midst all of the now seemingly small chunks and clusters.
"Beautiful isn't it?" she said to him; he looked down to his screen at her face admiring the ice before them. "The way the light, dances around in so many colors over it. All coming from inside of it; all of the lights inside... glowing like a heartbeat..." She trailed off like she was reciting poetry.
"Yes... it is." He said still looking at the screen. Then he pulled his eyes away towards it, "How do we get in?"
"Follow me." She chimed leading him towards it; she made a quick right turn under a spike and he followed, then led in. The tunnel around them was dimly lit, and went on for what seemed a very short amount of time, although it was long. Then they broke into the light, and looked around at an almost pleasant looking mixture of ice, and metal. Wolf looked out to see a wide variety of ships, all different makes and models. It was almost guaranteed that all of them belong to either criminals, or bounty hunters.
Billie grabbed a spot three ships down from Wolf.
"Whew it's crowded today." She said as they walked out of the lot together. She tugged her hood down low not wanting to be recognized; then with a fwip noise she checked her lens directions again. Wolf looked around at people running from place to place, never looking at each other or even bumping into each other, like a well timed dance.
"Are you sure you'll be recognized? No one around here even seems to notice us standing still. Not to mention when I asked around people didn't even know you were female for the most part."
"Yeah, you asked at some little boonie asteroid. This is the Smuggler's Rock, these are the big boys. And trust me; once people see my face, they forget the rumors." She looked up at him, he was a clear foot taller than her, and most other people there, "trust me." She said.
Wolf nodded and let her lead the way. They wove their way through the clusters of people over about two blocks, then they came to an almost vacant street. The slush from the ice crunched beneath their boots as Billie stopped in a storefront.
"This should be the place, now unfortunately your face is just as recognizable as mine, so we can't make up some bull crap story to get on the guys good side. If he knows Star Wolf was hired to get the payment you're probably on his shit list. So let's not hide we are Star Wolf; we'll just go in and shake em' down." She grunted wanting to get out of this place.
"I like it. Short, sweet, to the point. However, my contact made it clear he doesn't want this guy killed."
Billie looked disappointed and put her gun away. "Okayyyyy…"
They entered the store of clearly stolen military guns with a beep from the door. An old brown iguana looked up from his computer screen and in a raspy voice began speaking.
"Ah Wolf O'Donnell, I was expecting you sooner."
"I was delayed, but I guess you know why I'm here."
"Oh I'm not too worried about that." He said getting up and slowly approaching Wolf.
"Look around, you're in a gun store, full of any kind of guns you could imagine. I hope you're ready to tell our mutual friend, that I'm not paying up!"
During this exchanging of words, Billie was inching forward to the counter, the lizard was keeping a close eye on Wolf, but the small feminine figure faded into the background. Then she stopped near the counter as both Wolf and the shopkeeper pulled out their guns aiming directly for each other's heads.
"Well looks like we have a stalemate then, matters little." The iguana's voice was like gravel.
Wolf saw what Billie was up to, and he did a slight nod to her. With that she pulled out her gun and pointed it at the lizard.
"Not quite," she said as he turned to look.
"Since when does Star Wolf have a female member? ...wait, do I know you?"
"Nope." She said quickly.
"Yes I know your voice, but I cannot place-" He fell forwards, Wolf had knocked him unconscious with the butt of his gun.
"You really do make a good distraction." He said jokingly.
"What's that mean?"
"Nothing." Wolf said and went to the back of the store. He shot open a lock-box and took the money out of it." This should cover the client. And this is for us."
"You're taking all of it?"
"That was the deal, my employer merely wanted to get the point across that he wasn't going to be ignored." he said tossing her a stack.
Billie started giggling, and the two of them went out the back door and started to jog back to their ships. They wanted to get out of their as quickly as possible. They pulled out of the planet back through the ice field.
* * *
"I don't think that could have gone off any better." Wolf said.
"So what now?"
"The Sargasso zone." He said breaking a wide turn around Fichina.
"Wanna race there?" Billie asked.
"Hmm." Wolf stopped to consider it; truth be told he loved competition, he thrived on it. There was no fun to be had in peace and quiet, and it looked like she was the same. 'Must be why they call her Radical.' He thought. Then he put on his engine full blast and shot through space without a word.
"Hey! That's not fair you cheated!" she yelled after him.
She sped off after him and eventually the two came neck and neck, they both straightened out their noses so they were side to side. And Billie started passing Wolf up. 'Damn' he thought 'her ship really is like an upgraded Wolfen.' Then he heard her gasp loudly in shock and she fell back, he looked in front of them and swerved his own Wolfen to the side.
"What the fuck is that?!" Billie yelled looking at the large insect like robot before them.
Wolf didn't have time to answer before it shot a large stream of laser fire his way. He barrel rolled out of the way and returned fire. He hit the hinge of one of its wings and watched it coil back like it was in pain as its wing drifted off.
"It's organic." He said "Open fire."
Their two ships circled the insect shooting it with a barrage of plasma, but it just wouldn't go down.
"How much damn armor is…" She didn't finish her sentence her thoughts were interrupted by an old familiar voice. The voice cooed into her ear like the devil; "You could beat it, if you weren't ashamed of what you are."
"Shut up…" she said gripping her head. The voice did not let up "What you have concealed you shall become…"
"Billie focus!" Wolf yelled to her as she took a shot from that thing.
"AHH!" and right at that moment, as if she willed it to, the monster they had been fighting exploded into an ominous black cloud with a loud screeching noise, leaving no traces besides floating destroyed hunks and a strange sort of black scar that seemed to suck in the light. And just as quickly as Wolf saw it, it was gone; like some kind of mirage.
"What was that?" Wolf said. Billie's ship wasn't moving. "Billie, respond!"
"I'm okay, I just feel faint." She said using her hood to cover her eyes.
"What just happened?"
"I don't know." She lied. "I'll meet you back at Sargasso okay?" Without waiting for him to respond she sped off in the direction they had been going closing chat.
Wolf tailed her all the way there. 'What the hell was that thing?' He thought, never having seen anything like it. It was like a robot, but it felt pain.
He watched Billie's ship ahead of him 'and what did it do to her?'
6. Chapter 6
CHAPTER 6
Somewhere along the way Wolf had lost her, but when he pulled into Sargasso her ship was there. He jumped out of his and saw Leon standing there.
"Hey what happened out there? Your ships look like they took some hits."
"Nothing we couldn't handle, where's Billie?"
"Did she get injured? Because she went straight to her room when she got back and wouldn't talk to anyone. Panther just said I don't understand women, peh! At least I can tell when they clearly aren't interested."
Wolf walked directly past him and made his way to her room. He saw Panther at the opening of the hallway. "There you are." He said expectantly.
"Is Billie-"
"She's not injured, but she refuses to come out of her room, she said she has to be alone. I find it's usually best to honor a lady's wishes."
"I need to know what the hell happened out there." Wolf said pushing past him. He knocked on her door.
"I already told you Panther I don't need a shoulder to cry on! I'm not even crying!" He heard her voice from inside.
"It's me." Wolf said through the door. He was answered with silence. "Billie what happened back there?"
"It's hard to explain. But really I'm okay."
"Did that thing do something to you?"
"No, quite the contrary actually… Wolf really I'm okay I just need to be alone, in the quiet. I'll come out later."
Not liking her answer he found his rage building again. She was lying, but about what… "You know exactly what happened back there don't you. Have you seen those things before?"
"No, I swear Wolf, I do know what happened back there; but I had never seen one of those things before. Please, just trust me…" her voice cracked at the end.
Against all of his better instincts, he did believe her. He heaved a heavy sigh and then he heard her small voice cracking behind the door:
"Just trust me okay? I really have to be alone."
"Okay." Was all he could say, he turned back out through the hall and saw Panther, who had seemingly heard the whole thing.
"You two should just admit your feelings and get it over with." Panther said.
"Excuse me?"
"Wolf don't play dumb, you two have had nothing but sexual tension between you since you had her pinned at the bar."
Wolf pointed one clawed finger at Panther's neck and said "Be careful." In a growling sort of voice. Panther shrugged his shoulders and said;
"Hey, I calls em' like I sees em'." Then smoothly strutted away.
Wolf shook his head. "I need a cigarette." He grumbled.
He went upstairs, and walked a long vacant hall to his office. There wasn't much in it, just a desk, with a chair and a computer he never used, and some lumpy old couch to one side. To the other side the whole wall was a window. This office was mostly just a place he knew he could be alone with his thoughts. He pulled an electronic cigarette out of one of his pockets, the end glowed blue like his e-patch as he took a puff. As the smoke surrounded his silhouette he looked out at a gold nebula in the distance. E-cigs had replaced all traditional cigarettes about 20 years ago, mostly because loosing lighters was so annoying the industry had turned completely to e-cigs do to demand,but there was also the little matter of traditional cigarettes causing cancer. He stood there in the smoke and let his mind wander.
"Damnit, Panther always talks too damn much." He said taking another drag. With the e-cig in his fingers, he let them run over his e-patch. A piece of himself that was useless without that patch, he hated that fact. That man who had taken his sight, that man he had hated so much; whose old bitter vendetta he had carried on to his son.
'Everyone has a piece of their past they don't want to remember.' He thought; and in that thought he decided to act like the incident with Billie earlier hadn't happened. She clearly wanted to forget whatever she did out there, so he'd let her. He put the e-cig back in his pocket, and sat down at his desk, counting the money they had gotten from Smuggler's Rock.
* * *
At that same moment, Billie was pacing her room up and down, holding her head trying to silence her thoughts; more importantly her memories.
"Okay, time to let it go…" she said holding her arms out, she looked at the backs of her hands, black stripes had begun appearing in the fur on them. "Calm down…"
She cooed to herself softly, and then she sat on the floor in the dark to meditate. Very slowly she breathed in through her nose, and out through her mouth like she had done so many times before, as her thoughts faded into a pleasant unbroken silence her blood pressure began to drop; and the stripes on her hands faded to gray, and in the next moment were gone. She remained in her meditation until she finally found the strength to get up. She rooted through her suitcase that she had thrown to the side of her bed her first night there, and brought out a small compact mirror, in the mirror she looked at her eyes, pulled the lids away and checked the whites, and they were white; normal clear white. She breathed a sigh of relief and sat down on the bed. Then she picked up the aged comb on her bed and began to slowly brush out the fur of her tail.
Trying to forget what had happened out in the cold vacuum of space she began to hum the ending of 'Layla', it was such a relaxing melody in its own right. No one spoke that night when Billie didn't show up for dinner, they ate in their silent victory after Wolf had given them their shares; and then each went to their own room to get some sleep.
* * *
The next morning, Billie once again awoke before anyone else to grab a quick shower, this time not undoing her braid she rolled it up to a bun on top of her head to keep it dry, and went back to her room as fast as possible. She put on a tight fitting black tee, and some red shorts, and her usual knee high combat boots; and of course she had to wrap her braid around like a scarf, it was like her signature. She made her way to the ship lot, wanting to see exactly what kind of condition her baby had been left in after that bug fiasco. As she approached the elevator she saw Wolf, he was facing away from her looking down at the ship lot.
He had been up for hours with insomnia; this happened to him a lot though; since he always had a lot on his mind. She paused for a moment, and before she could speak, she heard his deep voice say "Mornin'."
She cleared her throat and returned with, "Hey."
"You have a lot of work to do." He said not turning to look at her.
"Is my ship that bad?"
"No, but you ran off yesterday before I could give you your last assignment."
"Oh, well about yesterday-"
"You handled the job quite well." He cut her off.
"I mean about that weird robot…"
"It was clearly already damaged. Its first wing came off in a single shot, then we worked on it for a good 20 minutes and got nowhere; luckily it exploded."
"Well yes, about that explosion-"
"I don't care what yah did Billie." He turned his head so she could see the profile of his face, but she couldn't read his eye as it was covered by that patch. "The point is it worked, and you killed it."
"…" Billie had no words left to give at that.
"You didn't eat last night, go get some food in you then get back here, for your next assignment." And with that he stepped onto the elevator and went down, without facing her once.
"Well, that was easy." She said with a shrug.
As she sat in the cafeteria next to Panther and Leon, she saw them talking but heard no sound, her own thoughts were far too loud. Then in between chewing she remembered how long Leon had known Wolf; and the words just shot out.
"Leon, did Wolf have two eyes when you met him?" she said fingering her own headgear.
"I beg your pardon?" Leon said looking up from his conversation with Panther. Now mind you, Leon Powalski was a murderous raving lunatic but he certainly had good manners; for the most part.
"That patch he wears, it's a class three electronic patch, built specifically for the purpose to aid in vision, so his eye isn't completely blind it also looks like a relatively new model; the kind of thing you can add other features to as they are needed. Thusly I come to the conclusion his eye is still there but was badly damaged recently."
"Clever girl, too clever. Just leave it alone." He said quickly.
"I know he nearly took your head off, that's why I'm asking **you.**"
"If you want to know the truth, grow a spine and ask him."
"All I'm asking is, was his eye damaged when you met him?" she paused feeling like she was prying too much. "And were you there when it was?"
"Why do you need to know?" Leon said.
"Why indeed." Panther added never missing a pluck of a heart-string.
"Aren't either of you curious?" She pressed.
Leon sighed. "His eye **was** damaged when I met him, years ago on venom. He used to wear a normal black patch then; and you are right, the e-patch is a new model. He got it recently because he needed 20/20 vision to be a better pilot. However, I cannot tell you how it became damaged because I do not know. No one does, except him; and he doesn't like to share."
"Oh…" she said feeling deflated. "One of those things that will just make one go 'hmm' I guess."
"Don't worry; I'm sure he will tell **you** sooner or later." Panther said getting up.
"What does that mean?" Billie shot to his back, as he walked away.
"You and I both know the answer to that." He said in the distance.
Billie just raised one eyebrow at Leon, and he shrugged back to her. Minutes later the three of them walked out to the ship deck and saw Wolf on his Wolfen making some patch repairs.
"You wanted to see all of us, apparently." Billie said up to him.
"Me, Leon and Panther are going out." He said jumping down "And you, are going to stay here and fix every little thing in this base, until it's running like a good watch." He said looking down at her from his height.
"Everything!? With what?"
Wolf pointed a thumb at the boxes he had brought in yesterday. Billie sweat-dropped and looked around at the base, and all of her little work stations still around everywhere.
"I'll be up all night!" she gasped as they got into their Wolfens.
"Then you had better hop to it." Wolf said just before his cockpit closed.
And in a loud flash, the three of them were speeding away into space; away from the lone wolf Billie who now had no assistants. She turned around and looked at the boxes.
"Aww nerts…" she said and started to unpack them.
* * *
"Wolf, where are we going?" Leon asked as they sped through space in a triangular formation.
"Beltino orbital gate."
"Uhm, not to rain on your parade but you do realize how many people are aware of our bounty there, right? We probably have our own satellite." Leon returned flatly.
"We aren't going there to be seen, we are going to hack into military records and find out what the hell that thing was that attacked me and Billie yesterday."
"Sounds like an all day job." Panther said.
"What good will it do getting this information?" Leon prodded.
"Well, my guess is there are more of those things, and if we can take them out, maybe the government will remove the bounty from our heads. Then we can finally start getting some real work. No more of this scrounging around crap; we have been reduced to a bunch of common cutthroats; and I'm tired of it. Even that damn Fox was able to take out our measly excuse for a base. This ends now."
"Would be nice to be able to fly around as a free man for a change." Panther said
"That's why you left Billie behind isn't it?" Leon said "She has no bounty on her head and you didn't want to risk getting her some. Methinks you are getting a soft spot for that one."
"I am not going soft! Now you watch your mouths, both of you, and get set to do this! Got it?" His voice had a razors edge, and they both knew him well enough not to pry into it any farther.
"Understood." They both said simultaneously.
* * *
Meanwhile Billie was running around the base like a chicken with its head cut off. No time for music, or to dance, it was an all business sort of run; she worked late into the night, only aware of the time due to the clock on her headgear, she would occasionally flip out the lens. But other than that she only stopped to chug water, or to go to the bathroom, the rest was a stressful blur of connecting wires, getting zapped, soldering metal together; and even kicking many large metal sheets either into place or in frustration.
She was finally near completion at some ridiculous unknown hour, high up in front of the hall that led to Wolf's office; and she leaned on an empty box that was resting on her lap, she leaned her upper body of the top.
"I'll just close my eyes for five minutes…" she lied to herself. "Then I will put my tools away, just… five…"
She went out like a light. A very exhausted light.
7. Chapter 7
CHAPTER 7
The three members of Star Wolf finally pulled back into Sargasso at a late hour, not that you could tell the hours out in space; but most people in the Lylat system operated on Corneria city time while in extended stays in space.
"I'm surprised we managed that so easily, these Aparoids must really be keeping the Cornerian government on their toes." Leon said with a sleepy stretch.
"And what good did it do?" Panther added joining Wolf and Leon in a sort of triangle. "No one seems to know anything about them, aside from the fact that one wiped out a Cornerian fleet on its own 17 years ago. What else did we find?"
"We found out that they have Star Fox and his little cronies working on finding out more… and," Wolf paused thinking back to earlier. "That someone on our own team can destroy them relatively easily. Even if we don't understand how."
Leon and Panther looked at each other, then back to Wolf and they all nodded in a sort of mutual understanding about their mechanic.
"For now, everyone just get some rest, I have a feeling we are going to need to be sharp in the near future." Wolf said, and then the three all went to wind down in their own way.
Wolf made his way to his office, on the elevator up he tugged out an e-cig, and as the blue glow permeated the darkness he stopped mid stride. And behold before him, just outside the dark hallway to his office, lay an utterly exhausted Billie, covered in grease and sweat from the high stress day she had endured in his absence. In all of the excitement of the day, he had forgotten about the job he had told her to do; he turned around and looked over the elevated pathways that wound all about his Sargasso zone, and realized he hadn't even noticed. But absolutely everything he had asked her to do was done, the transfer devices were all running, her work stations had been cleared away, and every box he had brought lay empty down next to her ship, her ship which looked like she hadn't touched it at all.
"Once again, Radical Billie performs her duties to the letter." He said exhaling a snaky wisp of smoke.
He then turned around and silently approached her and let his eyes take in the detail; she was crumpled up over the collapsing box breathing out of her mouth with a puddle of drool soaking the cardboard. Her right hand hung over the side of the box, there was a screwdriver hanging by three fingers threatening to fall; he looked at her little red toolbox leaning against the wall, she had been putting her tools away. He crouched down beside her and took the screwdriver from her greasy hand, and just as his old smirk started to show itself, the box finally collapsed under her weight and she fell face first to the floor.
'She couldn't have been laying like that very long…' he thought as he looked at her face pressed flat on the floor and her rear end up in the air, with her bushy white tail hanging limp and lifeless just like the rest of her. Almost snickering, Wolf picked her up and slung her over his shoulder; he couldn't tell if it was because he was strong, or she was light but he exerted little effort. He carried her into his office and laid her down on the sofa, her long thick braid fell to the floor as she laid there breathing loudly out of her mouth. Taking one last puff on his e-cig he replaced it into his pocket, then went out into the hall and put her last few tools away, he brought the toolbox into his office and set it next to the couch, then he sat in his chair and put his feet up on his desk, he stayed and listened to her breathing in the dark and let his thoughts be still for once.
And at that moment, he felt a wonderful, happy tiredness overcome him. Usually his thoughts would race into the wee hours, but right now in the dull light of the stars, and the white noise of her breathing in the background just made sleep seem so easily within his grasp. Although he didn't want to sleep in his office he could not move, his eyelids betrayed him, and grew far too heavy for him to hold up. For several minutes he laid back in the surreal area between the land of sleep, and the land of the living; then he was out.
* * *
Even in Billie's dreams, she was asleep. But she was not the Billie of now; in dreams she was still just a child. The small white wolf laid in a pleasant sleepy stupor surrounded by the thick green grass of her home planet, there were vibrant purple leaved plants, with little black veins; fragrant, lush white flowers dangled from the plants and surrounded her in her own small sphere. Her short hair made a sort of halo affect around her head pressed up to the grass. She lay beneath her slowly moving violet and orange sky, never opening her eyes: in that way she could preserve this small moment forever; back when everything was simple, when everything was right in her world. Oh these memories of so long ago now, it felt like it may never have even happened at all not if she opened her eyes, she couldn't, she wouldn't. She refused, again and again, even as voices surrounded her whispering pleasant things through her great leaves and petals. But then she heard one that stood out from the rest, one that was new in her land of dreams. It was a deep rumbling voice, but she was unafraid. This was not the voice of the woman who caused her so much strife; this was the voice of a man.
"Billie…" called the voice, like a far away thunder.
"Who is that?" she said in the small voice of a child. "They sound… so familiar."
"Billie, Billie…" the thunder came in closer.
The small white wolf felt herself sinking, sinking into the ground, still she was unafraid. She fell into blackness, and sunk down like she was in water then fell into a large body; the body of her true self. Billie fluttered her eyes open, there was a large shadow hanging over her, and in the initial blur of waking up she could only make out a bright blue left eye.
"Billie, wake up." Wolf and his voice came into full focus.
"…"
"You awake?" Wolf said over her with his hand on her shoulder, he had been shaking her, she hadn't even felt it.
"Just, a dream…" she whispered still gathering her bearings.
"Well nap time is over; it's already 9:00."
"Nine…" she whispered then she shot up. "Where am I? Why did I over sleep?"
"This is my office." He said turning and strolling to his desk.
"Did I pass out in here?" she asked embarrassed.
"Not exactly, no." Wolf mumbled not really wanting to get into anything. "I just woke up too, so we both overslept."
"Long day on both ends I guess." She said standing up.
Wolf just nodded, and then walked to the door. "You should go clean up." Was all he said then he walked out.
"I smell that bad?" Billie said to herself as she picked up her toolbox.
* * *
Billie cleaned herself up nicely as usual, and decided to sport her old black and white pants again, fresh from the laundry. She paired them with a tight laced tank top and her only pair of shoes, and then made her way out to her baby with some coffee in one hand and her toolbox in the other.
She fiddled around in the cargo bay of her ship getting out some liquid ship patch and a small soldering iron, decided she would seize the late day by getting her baby back into her prime self. As the lovely styling of 'comfortably numb' sailed through the air around her she let herself relax as she made the repairs. Wolf had waited for Billie to finish up in the showers; and after his fur was dry he walked out to the flight deck replacing his e-patch over his eye. He was still thinking about exactly how he should go about this Aparoid problem, Fox and his little rubes had basically beat him to the punch. A heavy sigh heaved from his lips as he realized he might never get this ridiculous bounty off of him, his thoughts raced on; memories of the days when he was so well respected, then his head popped empty as he heard music coming from in front of him. He stopped upon hearing the mellow tune drifting by him; and behold before him Billie on the wing of her ship, the light coming from behind her gave her white fur a sort of shiny glow. He stopped and stared, he could not look away, not that he cared too; then his mouth dropped open slightly as she bent her head back and worded out without singing: 'I have become comfortably numb.'
Then she bent back down and continued her patching, he looked down to her long elegant fingers as they expertly worked the metal.
"Like an old master isn't she?" Panther startled him, but he didn't show it in his composure. "So have you two broken your **tension** yet?"
"Watch it Panther." said not pulling his eyes away from their happy position.
"I noticed she and you slept in late, in your office… and you came out together."
"Nothing happened." His voice took on the sharpness of a razors edge again.
"Mhmm. Well I suppose it's a good thing she didn't turn you in then; she might have risked her reputation trying to spring you out." Panther chuckled, in the past having seen the way they looked at each other but could not seem to admit.
Wolf turned to him wanting to yell in protest, but as the long ending of the song finally came to a silent close, his brain started hatching an idea. An idea that started being fed by the fast rythum of 'Paint it Black'. He looked over at Billie, and finally the idea came to full fruition.
"That's it!" he said running off towards Billie leaving Panther alone and confused.
"Billie!" he called over the music. She looked down at him and killed the sound system of her ship, from the headgear that Wolf had given her.
"I'm almost done here, then I can get to your ship." She started.
"No not that, does anyone you used to know, now know you are now in Star Wolf?"
"Uhh, no. No one saw my face at the Swindler's Rock. Or Smuggler's Rock, or whatever. Why do you ask?"
"I know how I'm going to get this bounty off my head! **You** are going to turn me in."
"Beg your pardon?" She said widening her eyes and perking her ears up.
"Yes, I too would like to know what you are thinking." Panther yelled from far behind.
"Go find Leon, everyone in my office now!" he barked the order and jogged to the office.
* * *
About five minutes later the three underlings were standing confused in front of his desk; Wolf was rifling through his desk drawers.
"Here it is." He held up a wanted poster of himself with a bar code on it. "You'll need this right?"
"Well yes but, what are you thinking?" She said concerned about his behavior.
"Look, it's high time we shook off the rust, I'm tired of always trying to play the field only to come up empty handed. So this time, instead of going to the work, we will be the work."
Billie slowly closed her eyes and giggled. "You are crazy you know that right?"
"Well as far as the Cornerian police are concerned; you are still one of the best bounty hunters in the Lylat system, so let's use that."
"Wait, what are you two talking about?" Leon jumped in.
"Lord O'Donnell is referring to a swap and bust." Billie said rolling her head back.
"A what?" Panther and Leon both said.
"It's when a bounty hunter turns in a high bounty criminal, collects the money and then breaks them out." She explained.
"I'm too attractive for prison hun." Panther chided.
"Neither of you are going." Wolf broke in. "It is probably going to take all three of you to break me out, so only I'm getting turned in."
Billie looked down at the wanted poster. "Are you sure you know what you are getting into? I have seen these before, they can go south very fast."
"I trust you." Wolf said looking straight at her, which for some reason made her feel uncomfortable. But Wolf had remembered how smoothly the job at Smuggler's Rock had gone because he had trusted her, and he trusted her with this completely. Billie let out a long sigh.
"Okay, how are we doing this?" she asked folding her arms.
8. Chapter 8
CHAPTER 8
After some careful preparation, team Star Wolf was zooming through space; bound for Corneria. Billie was nervously racking her brain as they flew on, thinking of every possible scenario that involved the death of one or more of them. Unless they were extremely precise in their planning, this would all turn to crap very fast. Loosing friends, was something that had happened before but was still never something one just got used to. And if she lost Wolf… She shook her head not wanting to finish that thought, and she started biting her black nails.
"Wolf where exactly on Corneria are we going to go? I mean don't you think me showing up to turn you in, with us in two separate ships will look odd? Have you even thought this through? I mean what-"
"Relax Billie, I have it all planned out. I'll fill you all in once we get there."
"Usually I like a little more Intel, with my Intel." Leon said coming into chat.
"I'm afraid I have to agree, I feel like you are sending us in blind." Panther added coolly.
"Okay so what Wolf, three Wolfens are just going to zute into Corneria city, 'Oh hey we are here to turn him in hahaha' I don't see that working." Billie spoke using her hands a lot through chat.
Wolf now used to her sarcastic attitude now found her more amusing than annoying, and just let out a gruff noise, somewhere between a chuckle and a growl.
"Okay look, Corneria city is where I'm going to be turned in yes but; we are not going directly there now. Most of Corneria is still thick jungles; we have lots of little places near the city to choose from. Just follow my lead, and stop questioning my every decision!" he snapped at the end tired of all the backtalk.
"Yes sir." They all said closing chat. They continued to follow him in a diamond shape: Wolf in the front, Leon to the left, Billie to the right, and Panther in back. Billie looked down at the wanted poster Wolf had given her for use during this mission, she looked down at the smiling and actually relatively well drawn portrait with concern. Team Star Wolf had become her friends; she had had a bad track record with those foolish enough to get close to her in the past. She gripped her steering wheel and said, "Not this time."
* * *
About two hours and eight minutes later, maybe ten depending on the clock; a familiar blue planet came into view. They all remained silent; trying to keep their minds focused on the task they had yet to be given. Keeping their perfect diamond formation the four pilots made a long arc just over the planet's atmosphere until they saw nothing but green below, nothing with the cold steel of the metropolis that was Corneria city. Then with momentary flame, they breached the planet's atmosphere, out here in the jungles, far from any road they would not get detected by anyone. Billie was taking in the pleasant green scenery, since she was a child she had loved being surrounded by nature; in space she hadn't realized how much she had grown to miss it. Wolf was looking out of his cockpit too; however he was keeping Corneria city's location in proximity on his ships mapping system, his eyes quickly scanned over the dense vegetation.
"Here." He finally said breaking the other three out of their own zoned out thoughts. Never once breaking the formation, all four members of team Star Wolf touched down to a little open pasture within a field of tall, thickly ivied trees. As the engines shut down, and the cockpits opened each emerged to explore their warm, windy surroundings. Each member admiring the lovely green bounty in their own way; Panther let the sun warm him, stretching out like a big house cat. Leon of course being reptilian also appreciated the energy the sunlight adorned him with like a garment. And poor Billie, although usually a place like this would be paradise, was too worried about something going wrong, typically bounty hunting was a simple formula: bad people did bad things, and then wound up on the ass end of an ass kicking. But when you were turning in someone you liked… someone you loved. That very thought made her freeze the warm light of the sun now felt a distant thing, she felt alone in the empty coldness of space as she stood in the open cockpit of her baby and watched Wolf fiddling around with something in his before he jumped down to the soft soil.
"Hey, Radical Billie," He teased, his voice bringing her back into the suns warm embrace. "Get down here." Even though he was barking an order.
As she stepped down and joined them Panthers voice floated by her ears, although she felt as if they were all far away now.
"So where exactly are we?" Panther's voice floated.
Wolf raised a large hand and pointed in a direction "Corneria city is about 20 minutes that way if you fly full speed." Then he paused in thought. He turned back to his Wolfen and grabbed a little black piece of fabric she could not identify from the distance; then with his back turned to everyone he took off his e-patch, and then quickly replaced it with the black fabric patch. When he turned around and started walking towards them Billie could see the top of a nasty looking scar from his black patch. She winced a little bit, not because she was grossed out by it, but because it looked like receiving the mark had been quite a painful experience.
"Billie, what exactly do you do when you turn in a bounty?" He said handing her his gun, and his patch. Billie took them, knowing he wasn't bringing them or they would surely be confiscated. All three of them were looking to her now; she was the expert on this mission. Then she cleared her throat and put her all business face on.
"Well, usually they are unconscious or just not all that rowdy… that was rare, but it did happen. And I tie them up and stuff them into my cargo bay." She said turning towards her baby and opening it up.
"Seems dangerous." Panther said.
"I like it!" Leon chimed in.
"Me too, we can't afford to do anything half assed today." Wolf concluded holding out his hands for her to tie.
"Right, I shall use my whole ass." Billie said digging around in her cargo bay for some tether. She came out with it, and a double chest holster with two blasters, it had been a while since she broke those babies out, but she needed to look the part today.
"Okay." Wolf began as she strapped the holster on, and then started to bind his hands. "Here's the plan; Billie is gonna do a convincing job turning me in to a minimum security prison. Since I am a high priority criminal, they will probably transfer me to a maximum security hold as quickly as possible, however this Aparoid problem we found out about seems to have the Cornerian military stretched thin so security will be child's play. You two lunk-heads, will wait here for Billie to return with the money, then you will follow her out; I have tucked a tracking chip into the fabric of this eye patch, since I couldn't take my other one." He looked at Billie now. "You can track it with your headgear, try to free me during transfer, somewhere far from the city, and then fly me back to my Wolfen, and we will get off this planet money in hand." He smirked.
"This is actually a brilliant idea." Leon exclaimed from behind them as Billie loaded him into her cargo bay.
"Are you, sure you want to go through with this?" She jittered nervously, as she flipped out her red lens and put a trace on the chip in his patch. She did not see him well in the darkness of the cargo bay, only heard his voice.
"Just make it convincing, you're in charge until I'm out, so keep your head on straight." He said with a confident tone.
"I just, I have a bad feeling about this, like-" Wolf cut her off.
"I trust you." Was all she heard from the dark.
"Okay…" she sighed. Then she closed him in and tossed Leon Wolf's gun.
"Hold on to that till I get back. You two just sit tight, I shouldn't be more than an hour."
They both nodded as she plopped down into her cockpit. Billie ran her retina into her baby, as was the only way to start it up, then down in the cargo hold Wolf felt the engine roar to life, and the motion of flight. He grumbled uncomfortably in the darkness as he was tossed this way and that with his hands tied, then she reached height and stabilized, and he just tried to get in a relatively comfortable position, Billie inside the cockpit gripping the wheel, heading for Corneria had made the phrase, 'it's just another job' her mantra. She bit her lower lip and looked down at his e-patch handing out of a nook in her baby's dashboard. Then she swallowed her nerves down into the depths of her belly and straightened her posture. She had to make this convincing if they were gonna pull this off without a hitch.
'We can't afford one of my little freak outs.' She thought, and channeled all rumors of the sternness of one Radical Billie Shade; rumors that had quite a bit of truth to them, particularly back when business was booming. With a stone cut gaze she headed forward.
* * *
Just about 20 minutes later as Wolf had said she flew over the Corneria city skyline; making her way for a minimum security prison on the outskirts she had dropped small bounties off at countless times before. She was well liked here, that gave her a much needed confidence boost as she touched down to the ship lot. Shutting her engines down, and composing the last bit of herself she got out of her baby.
"Finally." She heard a sarcastic voice call from the darkness.
"SHH." She whispered grabbing him by the back of the neck. "We really gotta sell it."
Wolf smirked as he was willingly pulled into the light, she smirked right back for only one instant, then old stone face returned and Wolf became a bit shocked at her strength; as she pulled him out and threw him to the ground of the fenced in ship port. He growled in pain and slight aggravation as he fell to his face, hands still bound behind his back.
"Oh save it, space scum!" Billie spat and but her boot to his shoulder, then lowering her weight to step in front of him. It didn't hurt him much as she was smaller than he; not to mention he was built like a brick shit house. But still, he was surprised by her strength and found himself wondering how he held her down the night they had met, 'maybe she was tired' he wondered.
Now that Billie was getting back into the groove of things she was enjoying herself a little too much.
"Hey Billie, got another one?" A brown falcon called to her from across the way, Wolf looked over at his ragtag ship and figured he was a bounty hunter as well.
"You know it Marcus!" she said pulling Wolf to his feet. "Get up already yah hairball." She pulled him up and jammed the laser around her belt into his back. "MARCH." She said sternly, and if looks could kill… Wolf grimaced, not wanting to smirk at that and blow it. Then they slowly made their way into the doors of the facility.
* * *
Meanwhile Panther and Leon were sitting on the wing of Leon's Wolfen listening to the cicadas playing their songs in the heat of the day.
"You think she's laying him out, you know to make it convincing?" Leon said admiring the sharpness of the blade on the end of Wolf's large gun.
"Most likely." Panther said stretching out as he laid back and let the sunlight shroud him.
* * *
"Move it!" Billie pushed him into the doorway. "I got one for yah Peter." She called over to a Dalmatian who had just been sitting bored at his desk.
"Billie! It's been so long since…" the officer paused and stared at the lupine that Billie had just kicked down to his knees.
"Holy shit…" He said with wide eyes. "That's Wolf O'Donnell!"
"Damn straight." Billie said in a cocky voice Wolf had never heard from her before, except on the night they had met. As a bounty hunter she acted totally different than as a Star Wolf member. It was like the Billie that worked for him, and the Radical Billie standing before him were two different people. Then she presented the officer with his wanted poster, and some kind of plastic card.
"I knew you could do it Billie, if anyone could haul him in you could!" as Peter took the items Wolf couldn't help but notice he was almost acting star struck towards her.
"But Billie why would you bring that weevil here? We handle minimum-"
"I'm a little scrapped for time." She quickly shot back not missing a cue. She even kept her gun pointed at Wolf's head for affect.
"Oh, of course, let me process this for you. Everyone get in here, we got one!" he headed to his desk and began typing away on his computer, then officers flooded the room, Wolf dwarfed them all so he was held down to the floor as he was put in proper handcuffs.
Billie winced a bit as they pulled him to his feet and pushed him towards the bars at the back of the room, which she knew led to the cells. They began to frisk him for weaponry, as they did so; they taunted him a bit being the only fun they ever had here.
"Not so tough now eh Star Wolf?"
"Yeah you're just a mouth full of teeth and a bad attitude now."
They all laughed at the fallen Wolf O'Donnell now. Billie bent her ears back not wanting to see this, she could tell even though he was remaining silent; he was holding back a lot of rage. Wolf absolutely detested any kind of authority other than his own, and she knew he must have found this degrading.
"He's clean." They finally said, and then one officer pointed to his eye patch.
"Hey what about this? Whenever I see this guy's picture he has one of those fancy e-patch contraptions.
"I took it." Billie quickly spun some lies. "After the fight, as a trophy, you know?" she half giggled. They nodded and turned him around reading him his rights, they seemed to feel the need to add; "come one you sack of crap." to the end. And then they hauled him down into the cell room, he turned his head and watched her until they turned the corner and he could no longer see her. She had watched him disappear, but heard them pack him into a cell and slam the doors. In that moment she grew even more respect towards her boss for putting up with that for the sake of earning his comrades some coin.
"That must have been an amazing fight, you will have to tell us the story sometime." Peter said handing her card back to her.
"Yeah." Was all she managed to get out, feeling the stone cold composure of Radical Billie slip away from her. She took her bounty registry card as Peter said;
"Usual place, you are gonna be set up for a long time with this. And sorry it was so slow; everything has been slow lately, with most of the officers pulled out on other things."
Billie just nodded and jogged out of the door. She had to get him out of that horrid little cell as soon as she could.
Wolf had listened to their exchange of words as best he could from his said cell and when he heard the door close out front he knew she was gone. He sighed knowing he'd be in there for at least an hour and sat down. The prisoner in the cell next to his was staring at him, Wolf let out a deep growl and he quickly moved away from the side of his cell that met with Wolf's.
'Please hurry…' he thought to Billie.
9. Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
Billie flew up over the city in a white flash; she wanted to move as quickly as possible, the idea of Wolf in that little cage was really bugging her. But more so, the sooner this swap and bust was over the less time there was for something to go wrong. In what felt like an eternity to the rushed Billie; she finally docked at the Beltino Orbital Gate. This was where every bounty hunter in the Lylat system had to come to collect bounty, and although she had done this countless times before, every little thing was feeling like it was taking too long. She jogged through the structure out of breath, around the swarm of people that always crowded the complex. Luckily for her word had not gotten out that she had caught him yet, Wolf must have known what he was doing planning this little scheme while the government had its hands tied with the Aparoid problem. Come to think of it, she wondered if they were making progress, that one she had fought had been pretty nasty. Another thing she was thankful for was her false reputation outside of the few peoples that saw her on a regular basis, no one up here ever picked Billie out of a crowd. And she really couldn't afford to be stopped right now.
"I need cash." She said through a little window, to a rather lovely cheetah with an exotic accent. Then she passed her bounty registration card through, it was registered at the moment with her capture of Wolf. She felt a bit strange realizing this was the last time she would probably ever use it. Once this little scam was over everyone would know that she was a pilot for Star Wolf.
"You sure honey? We take out 12% that way."Said the lovely cat.
"12%?! That's highway robbery… wait what am I saying." She mumbled to herself remembering she was in a rush. "Yes it's fine, just give me large bills."
"One moment sweetie." The cheetah disappeared behind a door in the back with her card. Billie sat there fidgeting her leg around and strumming her fingers on the counter top. And one agonizing moment in eternity later the cheetah reappeared with her card and 3 fat stacks of cash.
"Thank you for your service, and we hope to see you again." She said like a recording. Billie pocketed her card and grabbed the stacks, almost sprinting back to the ship lot. In the lot she had to slow her pace almost out of breath.
"Got to work on, my cardio…" she gasped. She had been clutching the money for dear life, then she looked up from her hands to see three people crowded around her baby; which was not an uncommon occurrence since it was one of a kind.
"Great…" her tone dripped with sarcasm as she strolled up catching her breath along the way. There was a toad, exclaiming in a loud voice that he had never seen anything like it. There was also a very pretty blue fox in a cat suit that fit her the exact right way, and next to her was a red fox that seemed to be agreeing with the toad. And the garments he was dressed in looked vaguely familiar.
"Wait…" Billie said as she drew in close enough to make out the details, well within earshot of them; "James?!" she exclaimed in utter shock. All three of them turned to look at her with surprised faces, Billie stood a bit taller than all of them, probably because she was a lupine, but she looked intently at the fox's face, taking in every detail.
"No, it isn't… of course it's not." She cursed herself under breath, remembering she had heard of her friend's death years ago, she had actually been late to the party, learning of his death after the venom war… that had led her into a deep depression for quite a long time.
"What did you just call me?" the unknown fox said in surprised curiosity. "Did you know James McCloud?"
"Yes, a long time ago. Did you know him?"
"A long time ago? You don't look a day over 25." The blue fox cut in, and then she quickly became silent and winced a little bit. She looked down and put her forefinger and middle finger on her temple.
Billie didn't take notice of that. "Oh that is very sweet." She said truly flattered. "But wait, if you are not James then-"
"I'm his son." He cut her off. "Fox McCloud."
"His son? When did that happen?!" she said in shock then looked at how young he was. Before Fox could say anything she let out a big "OHHHH." It dawned on her that Fox must have been born after their falling out.
"Well how did you know Fox's dad?" the toad eagerly asked.
"I'm… uhm…" Billie's thoughts were going a mile a minute. "Your dad he… I knew him when he was young, he taught me a bit of piloting and I taught him about some weird tech he was interested in… he said he was trying to put together this rag-tag team of mercenaries and see how far it would go."
"Wait, you knew my dad before he formed Star Fox? How is that possible? You are so young."
"Is that what he called it? He never was very good with… Wait, YOU ARE THAT FOX?!" Billie said remembering all that Leon had told her about Star Wolf's rivals.
Krystal finally looked up with an understanding look. "I'm Krystal." She extended her hand to Billie. "We just got in from Sauria on mission, and our mechanic Slippy is quite fascinated with your ship."
Billie shook her hand slowly. "I never said it was my ship..." Billie said suspiciously.
"Who cares about that?" Fox said. "How did you meet my dad? And not know about Star Fox for all this time?" he asked with an eager expression.
"Well he… James that is... offered me a job… but, uhm"
"You said no?" Fox guessed.
"Yeah." Billie fidgeted nervously. "Because of that we sort of had a falling out and… and." Thoughts racing around her brain kept going back to how she had joined the rival mercenary group of one of her best friends without even knowing, then **Wolf** popped into her brain, and all other thoughts vanished.
"I have to go! I'm sorry; really I have to go…" She said with her hands up, backing away and then quickly jumped into her ship and booted it up. "Uhm Fox?" she asked nervously before her cockpit closed, she wanted to ask how her dear friend had died but, she didn't want to bring up a painful memory for his son. "You're the spitting image of him." She finally said.
He grinned at that, Billie grinned back, and then they backed away as she took off. Krystal gazed out of the port Billie's ship had left through.
"Well, that was weird." Fox said still letting in sink in.
"Not so weird…" Krystal said looking over to him. "The entire time she spoke, she was being sincere. And her thought patterns, although they were racing a mile a minute, they were deep, and profound. Like someone who had lived many years, seen many things."
"So, she's older than she looks…" Fox concluded. Krystal nodded.
"And you should know Fox, when she thought of your father's death, she was filled with this… this raw agony, like I have never felt before. It was horrible, but completely genuine."
Fox looked down in silence, he hadn't even gotten her name, all he could do now was wonder what had happened for them to have whatever falling out they had, had.
"Man, if she was old, she must have been great with tech from years of practice, and she didn't tell me anything about that awesome ship!" Slippy's voice rang through the air, Krystal and Fox both shot him a look.
* * *
As Billie breached the atmosphere back to the rendezvous point she held her fist to her forehead and clenched her teeth, trying not to weep. She looked down at her shaking hand one the wheel; little gray stripes were starting to materialize. She wiped the tears out of her eyes and tried to calm herself.
"Now isn't the time." She yelled at herself. But she couldn't help it, team Star Wolf, who had become like her family was the enemy of one of her best friends successor. It was a bitter, dramatic irony, some kind of cruel cosmic joke. She gripped her wheel tight and slapped a look of composure on her face, but tears still streamed down leaving wet trails in her fur as she flew on.
* * *
Wolf stuck in his tiny little cell, sat in the silence awaiting rescue. He found his thoughts aimlessly wandering this way and that; he just let them fly onward literally having nothing better to do. He wondered if Billie had claimed the money yet, if she had even met up with Leon and Panther yet. Or if they would even transfer him today.
"Damnation…" he hissed putting his hands behind his head and leaning back stretching out his legs. Every one of his damn thoughts kept going back to Billie. And it was really getting on his nerves. Not because he didn't want to think of her, but because of what Panther had said to him about their supposed sexual tension. Or how Leon told him he was getting soft.
'Like I'm going soft…' he thought. Then his brain became fuzzy as he thought back to when he saw her surrounded in backlight, and the song 'comfortably numb' drifted around her in the air. A smirk crossed his lips and he let himself become a bit boggled at the memory. Or the memory of him leaving the office and hearing her ask if she smelled that bad, he found her scent rather light and inviting, not too strong like most broads who wear too much perfume. Then his eye shot open and he swore under his breath.
'Just get that ass moving Billie.' He thought loudly in his head.
* * *
Billie wiped her face with her faded striped hands and finally landed, the two members of Star Wolf came up to her ship as it opened.
"So?" Leon asked up at her. Billie tossed him a fat stack of cash. "Nice!" he said strumming it under his thumb.
"Went well I take it?" Panther watched her come down.
"Smooth as silk."
"Why are your eyes bloodshot?" Panther then asked looking at her face.
"I'm just tired." She lied. "And we still have work to do." She snatched the stack from Leon and made her way to Wolfs Wolfen.
"She's all business." Panther purred.
She stuffed the stacks underneath Wolf's thin seat cushion. "If we fail, we will all still know where this is." She then closed his cockpit and walked over to them, taking Wolf's gun back from Leon she said. "Alright you two, let's do this!"
"Right!" they both responded running to their ships.
"And stay focused this is the hard part."
They booked it at full speed forward, keeping in a perfect triangle formation. Billie flipped out her red lens and brought up the track in Wolf's eye patch.
* * *
Wolf sat in the cell, waiting for rescue, or transfer, either one he would welcome being bored out of his damn mind in the peace and quiet.
"They are here for you O'Donnell." Came Peter as he unlocked the cell and stepped aside. Wolf sat up as about five heavily armed guards (clearly not from this prison) came in and crowded around him. Breaking through the middle was the only one without a helmet, a tough looking brown lynx with thick black stripes running down him in nearly perfect symmetry. His ears were bent back making the top of his head look perfectly straight, and he had a nasty looking scar in a large circular pattern down his neck.
"Oh, I have been waiting a long time to welcome you to my prison." He said in a smooth refined way that almost made him seem like he was disturbed.
"Oh, I do so love being the guest of honor." Wolf shot back immediately showing his teeth in a grin. The lynx just smiled at him then clicked his fingers. The next moment Wolf saw stars as one of the guards nailed him across the head with a knight stick. He fell to the floor and looked up to the lynx as he was being cuffed.
"You seem to have a strong will, you don't care too much for authority I'm guessing. Well don't worry; I'm sure given time we will break you of that." As they pulled Wolf along surrounding him from all sides he decided to dance with this guy a little.
"So where exactly is this prison?" he said. The lynx did not turn around, but did speak.
"Out in the depths of the jungle, only one road to reach it, then we have to travel about twenty miles of dirt road. No one escapes The Cage." He said giving Wolf the name. "Those who do are either killed in the jungle, or come crawling straight back."
They threw Wolf in the back of a heavily armored truck, and two of the guards got in with him. The others waited at the doors for the lynx to get in one last word.
"I heard it was Billie who hauled your sorry ass in. You should feel right at home in my prison, she's the reason quite a few of them are in there. You should even feel honored to have been taken down by Radical Billie." Wolf looked into the lynx's cold yellow eyes.
"You know Billie huh?" he said wondering how he knew Billie was female.
"Oh yes, she's quite a beauty isn't she? Her reputation simply does not do her justice." Wolf narrowed his eye and glared at him for those words.
"You know her personally?" at this point Wolf was just stalling as much as he could.
"Yes, we go back a ways." The lynx strummed his fingers across his scar. "She saved my life once." Was all he said, then he clicked his fingers and the guards slammed the doors shut. Wolf heard them lock and then felt movement as the machine rumbled to life and then into motion.
'Saved his life?' he thought looking at the guards on either side of him.
* * *
"The lock on Wolf is good! He's heading down a highway just like we planned."
"All of the highways on Corneria are raised up above the vegetation. It will be the perfect way to ambush them from the air." Leon said over chat.
"Yes, let us wait for them to be far from the city, we can catch them alone." Panther added.
"Yea, catch Jimmy with his trousers down." She said in a fake accent. Then she bit her thumb nail…
"They are heading North." She said looking at her red lense.
"Yeah, they are probably taking him to The Cage." Leon assured her.
"Damnit…"
"Something wrong? We will get him before they even arrive." Panther added.
"It's not that." She shook her head. "If people know I brought him in, then Taylor probably came to take Wolf in."
"Taylor?" they both asked.
"There is no guarantee… but keep your fingers crossed that Wolf isn't in the hands of that sadistic lynx."
"Sadistic huh?" Leon said.
"Let's go and introduce ourselves." Panther chimed.
10. Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
"You sound like you had a bad run in with this 'Taylor'. What is so special about him?" Panther questioned her.
"Oh nothing, except he happens to be the warden of The Cage."
"You know the warden personally?"
"He was a criminal back then. I made the mistake of saving his life because the bounty called for him to be alive, I'll spare you the details but let's just say he has an obsessive personality. And now that stupid prison is all he lives for. To him the inmates are like insects he can squash under his boot; and for some reason he takes the inmates I throw in there and treats them the worst."
"Sounds like he's still got a thing for you." Leon said, truly knowing the inner workings of the mind of a sadist.
"How touching." Panther said. "But Billie runs with Wolf now."
"I run with Star Wolf if that's what you mean Panther."
"I think we both know what I mean… So what do you say we gain some altitude and shoot out the road ahead of them, leaving them nowhere to run." His smooth voice filled her ears.
"You read my mind, but how?"
"It's always like our very own Leon to keep a bomb or two lying around in his cargo bay…" Panther cued to Leon who said:
"You never know when you're going to need them." Billie giggled a little bit at that. They flew on high over the city's skyline and made their way to their boss's rescue.
* * *
As Wolf sat in the back of the armored van he heard the sliding of metal, he turned his head to look behind him at where the driver was and saw the lynx's eyes looking down at him from the passenger seat.
"So, how surprised were you when Billie took you down? Tell me, did you see anything strange?" The lynx prodded.
"Humph." Wolf grunted then remained silent.
"If you tell me what you saw, I'll be willing to make your stay in my prison just a bit more tolerable." His words slithered through the metal netting like so many venomous snakes.
"You can promise me anything you damn well please." Wolf turned away. "But words lose their charm when whispered from behind prison bars." After that Wolf chose to remain silent, knowing at any moment his rescue was imminent.
"Be as stubborn as you like, we have ways of breaking people like you… I only wish I could have seen her in action."
Wolf made a wide toothy grin in the dim light at that statement; knowing his wish was about to be granted; he knew the sound of Wolfens anywhere.
"Hey what's…? WHAT THE HELL?" the driver exclaimed, then all Wolf heard was an explosion, and his next sensation was getting tossed around like a rag-doll as the van swerved trying to break, then flipped.
* * *
"Target locked." Billie's voice chimed to the other two members of Star Wolf. "He is definitely in the back of that van."
"You mean the one that just flipped?" Leon chuckled.
"Leon, fall back and kill anyone who tries to escape back down the road, Panther you and me are going to kill the spares." She said targeting the guards trying to shoot at them from the ground.
There had been an SUV of some sort following behind the van and it was packed with guards, seemingly armed to the teeth.
"WHOAH." Panther called out as he narrowly avoided a large orange beam.
"Aw shit! He's got a BFG." Billie swore annoyed.
"A what?" Panther said locking on to him.
"A big fucking gun! Take em' out."
"Right."
Both were silent as they, looped up and down the road, taking a few shots but dishing out more, Billie's smooth fiery blasts seeming a constant due to all of her turrets. Panther's adding an extra zing to anything she may have left behind in her flaming wake. Until finally Billie took aim at the SUV; it exploded leaving every guard around it a bloody, lifeless, charred heap.
"Okay Panther, I'm going in to grab him, cover me." She said scanning for heartbeats all around with her headgear and only seeing them arise from the flipped van.
"You got it."
Billie landed her ship to one side of the flipped van. She ran across to the back with her duel blasters out ready for anything. She heard some rumbling from the back, like people were fighting. Then she heard two body's fall; her ears perked up and she took aim at the door charging her blasters up to red, and truly hoping Wolf was not one of the one's who had fallen. Then a loud noise came from within and the lock on the door filled with holes from the other side. A large boot kicked open the door and the owner stepped out.
"You're late." Wolf gruffed to her stepping into the light, holding one of the guards ak 47s in each hand. Billie looked at both guards on the floor behind him.
"I was delayed…" she said in a penitent tone. Then she shot her fully charged blasts into the air and holstered her blasters. She pulled his e-patch out of her pocket and presented it to him.
"You should have brought a cigarette." He said taking it from her with one large index finger; but he was smiling so she let it slide off of her.
"Well, isn't this ironic." A cold familiar tone arose from Taylor who had finally worked his way out of the flipped van; he was pointing a rocket launcher right at Wolf's head. "First Billie saves me the criminal, now I'm about to shoot her new criminal boss."
Billie just rolled her eyes. "God you're not still going on about that crap from eight years ago are you?"
"So you two have met… I thought he might have just been blowing smoke." Wolf was aiming right back at Taylor.
"Billie come over here, and I'm willing to forget this." Taylor's tone sounded a bit less icy.
Wolf wanted to gauge her reaction, but he also wanted to keep a close eye on the cat. So he didn't look, but he heard; Billie took Wolf's gun out her belt and took aim for Taylor.
"Face it Taylor, we never had anything between us other than your weird obsession with what I did to your captors that night. But like I said, I only needed you alive to collect the bounty." She shrugged. "I'm with Star Wolf now; you don't even exist to me anymore." Wolf smirked at that.
"You heard the lady." He said pleased.
"Why you little bi-" Taylor didn't get to finish as a laser blasted his arm off, and the gun with it. "GAAAAH!" He yelped in pain as blood spewed onto the road.
Billie and Wolf looked up, and she saw the face of her comrade on her red lens. "This is exiting!" Leon said happy at his handy work on the lynx.
"Nice shot." Panther applauded.
As Wolf threw down the guns, he put the e-patch that he had been holding with one finger into his pocket and they turned to leave. Then they heard yelling behind them; the bloodied Taylor was charging at them with a crazed look in his eyes, instantly Billie turned and kicked her right boot over the side of his face. He fell backwards with a thump, and he was out.
Without batting an eye the two turned back around and walked to Billie's ship.
"Think he'll live?" Wolf asked
"As long as he has that stupid prison, it's all he lives for now. He has no real authority outside of it. Live or die he is no threat to us anymore."
"Do I have to get back in the cargo bay?" Wolf asked.
"Haha, no, just sit down in the cockpit and…" she trailed off and picked up his wrists. The chain of his cuffs had been snapped down the middle. "I can pick these." She said and pulled a large curved knife out of her left boot.
Wolf looked at her face, deep in concentration as she worked, and then down at her hands. The long nimble fingers that he enjoyed watching expertly work pieces of metal, got through the first cuff with relative ease. It fell to the road with a small clink, and as she worked on the second one, he noticed the gray stripes on the backs of her hands, running up her wrists; he hadn't recalled seeing those before, but they were pretty dim maybe he had missed them.
"There." She concluded taking him out of the thought. "Done." She said and smiled up at him.
"Thank you." And he meant that, she had not only just made them an obscene amount of money, but had once and for all proven her absolute loyalty to the team. They looked into each other's faces, not realizing they were slowly drifting closer, and then through her head gear they both heard the sound of someone clearing their throat awkwardly.
They quickly snapped their heads upward and saw the two other members looking down on them from their hovering ships.
"Can we move on with this?" Leon snapped.
"Yes, this is a bit ill timed." Panther agreed.
Billie looked back, but Wolf was already climbing into her cockpit, she climbed up to join him. Wolf sat in her seat, even though she was much smaller, her seat was much larger than his, and it was very plush and comfortable; his was basically just leather on metal. Just when he thought he could get no more comfortable Billie's tail end pressed down on his lap. He just tried to keep his arms down as he felt his face grow hot, then the cockpit closed in around them. Her soft rear moved around over his lap in a little semi circle as she readjusted her tail, trying to get comfortable.
He looked down at the curve of her back as she did the retina scan that was required to start her baby's engine. Then when the ship started to rise she arched her back up and her weight grew heavy on him. He looked out of the window at the clouds whizzing by trying to focus on something else, as he was now feeling a light pleasant heat gather in his abdomen. He did not want it to go any farther down.
"So Wolf, when we get back to your Wolfen what's our next move?" she questioned him.
He cleared his throat. "Head away from Corneria as quickly as possible. We probably…" he trailed off as she leaned back into him a little bit then inched her lap forward to his thighs.
"So how are things in that tight little space?" Panther laughed hearing them over chat.
"Damnit Panther!" both Billie and Wolf yelled.
"Okay I'll talk to you guys when we get back to his ship…" Leon said sounding grossed out then clicked off chat.
"Yeah you should too Panther." Billie said annoyed then turned off her chat.
"How about some silence?" she said nervously to the owner of the thighs she was sitting on. She thought they had been calling her out. This whole time unknowing to what she had been putting Wolf through, she had been readjusting herself trying to forget she was in Wolf's lap. She bit her lip as she felt her temperature rising.
The blessing and the curse of being a lupine was the incredible sense of smell; and in this confined little space Wolf was getting a nose full of her light and airy pheromones, and she was getting a good whiff of his rich scent, and she liked it. It was earthy like the smell of soil after it rains; it really suited him. The two remained in their silent suffering all the way to Wolf's ship.
* * *
The three ships finally landed where this had all begun earlier. Billie didn't wait for the cockpit to even open all the way before she got up. Wolf let go of a breath, not even realizing he had been holding it. He got up and leaped down to the grass, and let the fresh air fill his nostrils and clear his head. He walked up to his own vehicle and with his back to all three of them changed out his patch, to replace it with his e-patch.
"I don't think that could have gone any better." Leon said from his ship.
"Yes, bravo Billie, bravo." Panther said to her for everyone to hear.
Wolf fiddled around and found the money under his seat. "Yes, excellent job." He said looking down to her with his returned 20/20 vision.
"Oh thanks you guys." She said as the breeze blew through her.
He nodded then sat down. "We should get off of Corneria as soon as possible." He said booting up his ship becoming all business once again.
"Uhm, Wolf…" she said it softly, still not entirely sure she should tell him what had happened when she met team Star Fox unexpectedly. Or even exactly how much she should tell him. All of a sudden the warm breeze made her feel cold. She felt like she had been lying to those closest to her; even though she didn't really lie, she just didn't tell.
"What is it?" he called into her long pause.
"Well, it's only a matter of time until word gets out I'm in Star Wolf and I…" she knew exactly what she wanted to say but the words simply refused to come up. Like she would drown if she opened her mouth to speak.
'Billie what's-" at that moment they all heard a chain of explosions. All four of them looked to where it had come from, the direction of Corneria city. And more still came through. Quickly Billie ran back into her ship, and all the members closed their cockpits and revved up their engines.
"What the fuck was that?" Leon said being the first into chat.
"I don't know, but we have to find out." Wolf said turning towards it and taking off. The others followed his example but Panther asked:
"Is that wise?"
"Yes, if we show up to save the city, they won't care one damn bit about the little swap and bust we just pulled."
"Dare to dream boss." Billie chimed in.
"Oh goodie more excitement!" Leon's voice was not for the faint of heart when he was exited.
Team Star Wolf flew off in the direction of Corneria city with all speed, every member having separate suspicions about the unknown attacker.
11. Chapter 11
CHAPTER 11
"This is just horrible." Billie said stunned as they flew over the city.
Almost every building was up in large pillars of black smoke; so many black veils of pillars from a distance the city now seemed a vast cemetery, each flue signifying some poor horrid massacre that had to have taken place within the city not moments ago. The citizens scrambled this way and that in terror; trying to evacuate as quickly as possible.
"How could this have happened so quickly? You were here not two hours before!" Leon said in shock and awe.
"I know…" Billie could barley reply.
"It isn't just the city; I'm picking up distress calls from the Beltino Orbital Gate." Wolf said. "These fucking Aparoids work fast."
"That makes no sense! I was just there; when I was talking to Fox, everything seemed fine." Billie cried over chat.
"When you spoke with **who**?" Wolf shot to her quickly.
"Uhm…" Billie became robbed of her words by her tightening throat.
"You were up there, having a nice little chat with Fox, while I was rotting away in that cell? Have a nice little talk did you?" His words were like throwing knives, she did her best to dodge them.
"It isn't what you think Wolf! I ran into him on accident, I had no idea it was Star Fox until I left."
"Is that why you were **delayed**?" He said with more knives.
"We only did introductions I swear. As soon as I learned who they were I left. Their mechanic was interested in my ship… ugh what was his name, he was some little toad."
"I hate to break this up you two, but we have Aparoids." Panther said.
And through the veils of burning ebony rising into the sky, sure enough there were the spindly little creatures, destroying everything in their wake. Immediately with a pilots grace and precision they began to zoom their way through hoards of the abominations that had settled on the buildings, until they heard something they were not at all expecting from Billie.
"Oh my God! That's Fox!" she squealed looking down to the top of a building.
Wolf looked down to see his greatest adversary about to e erased from this world forever. The large creatures surrounded Fox, and he looked quickly around realizing he had zero options.
"Wolf." Billie pleaded. He looked down at her distraught face on his monitor. "Please!" Little did he know, in her eyes all she saw down there was the son of her old friend about to be massacred. But she was in genuine distress, he could tell that much from her face. Finally with a role of his eyes he knew he couldn't let Fox be killed while he had been trying to save the city, even if it took away his chance to do so… But it was more than that, even if he refused to admit it to himself; he needed Fox. He needed conflict in his life; it was the only way he knew how to exist.
'Bleeding hearts of the world unite.' was his thought as he locked onto Fox's location and opened up a chat line with his head gear. "You're a pitiful sight, pup."
Fox looked up to the Wolfen that was barreling down to his location. But before he could exhale a sigh of relief, Wolf opened fire. Billie almost screamed; but then she saw what Wolf was aiming for, as Fox leaped out of the way. Fox fell with a loud yell, thinking he was about to meet his maker. But then much to everyone's utter shock Wolf swooped down with the expert timing of a well practiced pilot and saved him. Fox landed on Wolf's wing with a thump.
"Wolf… what are you doing here?" he asked in a grateful, stunned relief.
"You're the one who dropped in unannounced." He said that as much to Billie as to Fox. "And if anyone's gonna tan your hide; it's gonna be me."
"Riiiiight…" Panther said playing along.
"Humph." Was all Leon had to say.
"Oh, boys…" Billie sighed with heavy relief. She still was not sure if Wolf had saved him for her, or because he was clearly one to honor the rules of engagement; perhaps a bit of both?
"Wipe that stupid look off your mug; all of you! We're not done yet."
Then they all flew forward to purge the city of the invaders, but Wolf was limited, he had to pilot his ship level so Fox wouldn't fall off. So Billie took it upon herself to be his personal bodyguard since his evasive maneuvers would be limited as well.
"You're on **my **Wolfen Fox. Don't disappoint me." Wolf gruffed in his usual tone.
"Don't worry about him." Panther chimed in. "You're like Wolf's surrogate gun."
Leon had to put in his piece; "Go ahead and blunder: you'll end up as a target."
"What, you?" Fox said looking to Billie's ship. "You're a member of Star Wolf?" he asked in confusion.
"Yeah, didn't think I'd see you again." Billie said with a giggle.
Wolf was more focused on the battlefield. "Hey watch it Fox, there's the enemy."
And with that statement, Fox turned his attention to mowing through the invaders with his blaster. The other three pilots fell behind Wolf, and kept anything and everything off of his tail, however Leon and Panther were forced to branch out as the enemy did.
"Damn, there goes one of my favorite café's." Panther said blasting some abomination out of the sky. "When this is over I want a first class meal."
"They look like sturdy little fucks don't they?" Wolf said as he blasted through one dumb enough to get directly in front of his ship.
"It's no fun fighting an enemy you can't shake." Leon said in utter annoyance; no longer finding this fight enthralling.
Billie, following Wolf was using all of her focus to blast missiles off of Wolf's tail. As the numbers of the Aparoids seemed to cut down a bit, the rest of Star Fox flew into view.
A falcon she didn't recognize joined the chat. "We got these guys on the run now." He was blue; Billie wondered if that had been the bird Leon had referred to once before.
Then someone she did recognize, Slippy; "Well, I recognize that unique ship make anywhere, it's good to see yah again. We got the baddies on this side."
Billie just laughed nervously, wondering what Wolf was thinking of team Star Fox being all buddy-buddy towards her. "Oh damnit someone's locked onto me." She said, doing a helix role around a skyscraper to shake them, and then blast them after her u-turn. But she had left Wolf un-guarded. She nervously rushed back to see Fox had it under control. 'He really is like James…' she thought admiring his accuracy.
"This is so annoying!" Leon said barrel rolling out of the way of a swarm, Panther had to come in from behind and help him eradicate the spares.
"Hey you should take me for a ride sometime." Slippy said having just seen Fox's position.
"Quiet toady." Wolf shot back to him still having zero sense of humor.
"What is that?" Billie said looking at something bigger than any other Aparoid they had seen all day.
"That is general Pepper's ship!" Said an old grey hare over chat.
"The Aparoids have mutated him! But the mutation is unnatural, he's deteriorating." Billie said with one look at him.
"It's too late, the Aparoids got me. My body… is no longer under my control." The general sputtered out in pain.
"…No!" Fox said lowering his gun.
"This is my final request… Destroy the ship… Destroy ME!"
"Don't say that! I can't-"
"You would make me an accomplice to these fiends?!"
"That's the truth of it. Accept it Fox." Wolf said, his eye growing narrow In his sternness; the sternness of a practiced pilot.
Fox slammed his fist to the Wolfen. "Why?! Why is this happening?" He looked up to the general's ship closing in on them. "Noooo!" But it didn't matter how much he protested, it **was** happening. He had no time to close his eyes and pretend it all to be a bad dream; he had to defend himself.
"My body… it's betraying me! Take me out!"
"General-" Fox tried to argue, but was quickly cut off by Wolf.
"Don't hesitate Fox! You gotta do it."
"What do we do?" asked the nervous Slippy.
"Don't worry Fox, just fire!" the general argued.
Everyone was hesitant though. All waiting for the absolution. Slippy finally found it:
"There's no way around it…"
They all moved in, all but Billie; she was distracted by the old familiar voice in her head. The voice of the one she hated most, from so long ago, who had against her will seemed to take a new home in Billie's head. Telling her the things she did not wish to hear, but in a way that made it sound so appealing. Like her own personal demon.
"You could end this you know… with one effortless flick of the wrist." It tried to charm her. Billie looked down at her hands; the gray stripes were slowly shifting into a thick pronounced black. "I won't… I refuse." Billie argued through gritted teeth. "You won't? but you can…" Billie lost in her mind's maze was unaware of the generals cries for pain as team Star Fox, and Star Wolf circled around, desperately trying to save… or rather finish him.
The only thing she heard was the voice of Wolf. "I got missiles on my tail, I can't shake em'!"
"NO." she held her hands up to the glass, and all three missiles that followed him, exploded, leaving behind strange pitch black marks that almost seemed to stain the air.
"What was that?" Fox said looking back at the blackness.
"Just forget it! Focus on the enemy!" she said over chat, Wolf looked down on monitor and saw for himself; the white's of her eyes were gone, each one was completely pitch black.
Wolf thought back to when she had destroyed the other Aparoid, although the black mark was harder to see in the dark of space he was sure it was the same mark. "She's right Fox; we need to end this now." Wolf said getting everyone's attention off of the subject.
Billie ignoring what was happening to herself got back into the groove of shooting any Aparoid on sight. As did they all, each displaying that they were a capable pilot.
"Looks like they are in bad shape now." Wolf said quickly as their numbers seemed to be decreasing.
"Shoot!" the general cried. "I'm already an Aparoid. Honor Fox! Let me keep my honor!"
"General!" Fox cried as he launched the last his rocket launcher had to give, and they all heard the general's last painful cry of agony.
"Good Fox…" said the general, almost sounding at peace. His ship began to fall to the city outskirt, and then they saw a lone Arwing.
"General Pepper!" said the hare that was bolting in the Arwing.
"Peppy!" Fox cried. But it was too late, in the last instant all there was to be seen was a massive white explosion. Billie could linger no more, she had to get away from the chaos. Gripping her wheel for dear life she shot up for the atmosphere, Panther and Leon followed, knowing they still technically had bounty here.
As Fox was relieved to hear that Pepper, and Peppy were still in one piece Wolf took no notice. He was looking up at the sky in the direction Billie had gone. He let out a long breath, then he went to the nearest building to let go of his little tag along.
"I owe you my life on that one Wolf. Thanks." Fox said graciously.
"I thought I told you, I didn't come here to save you." Wolf said still sitting on his own bounty.
"Even so…"
"Humph." He gruffed in his own tone. "So how long you plan on taking space up on my wing?"
"Oh uhm…" Fox jumped down. Wolf didn't turn his head to watch him go, but he knew this Aparoid problem was only going to get worse. And since Fox was on the job, Wolf thought he would give him something to use near the end of his journey.
"Fox… Let me give you one piece of advice. Don't hesitate! When the time comes, just act!"
And with that, Wolf bolted away into the sky. Fox had no idea where he was headed, but he still couldn't believe the man who had tried to kill him on several occasions just saved him like that. He was a complex guy indeed.
Wolf had other things on his mind at this point however; he was bound for Billie's direction with a lock on her ship. He was going to once and for all get some damn answers out of his mechanic. He rocketed up into the blue, leaving nothing but a thin white trail, which was quick to disappear. Like he had never been on Corneria today.
12. Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
As Billie's baby cut through the atmosphere in a trail of fire, Wolf's face popped up on her screen in a scowl.
"You owe me some answers girly." He said looking at her eyes, they looked like they had always since the day they met; for a second he wondered if he had seen her correctly in the rush of the battle earlier.
"What are you getting at Wolf?" Panther asked.
"You destroyed those missiles that were tailing me, just like you destroyed that Aparoid the day I took you out to test you. How did you do it? And how come you were concerned for that Fox like some old chum, if you had just met him today?!" he said with a rage, not that he was angry at her; she had been a valuable asset now more times than he could count. But if there was one thing he hated: it was being lied to by a member of his team.
"I promise…" she said with a surprisingly calm composure. "I will explain everything to you once we deal with that."
Wolf looked ahead at the Beltino Orbital Gate in the distance; team Star Fox had moved fast, and were already helping the Cornerian military clean up the swarm. With a displeased sort of noise, Wolf put Billie to the back of his mind for the moment, after all for everything she hadn't told him he still trusted her. Why he could not say… he felt a great deal of concern for her as well. He shook his head empty; once again stuffing his unknown feelings down to deal with the problem ahead.
"Do these things have no end?" Billie asked looking out at the war zone; it was like they hadn't dented their numbers at all back on Corneria.
"Let's just get them out of here as quickly as possible." Wolf said, but he trailed off as he saw more arriving along with large missiles.
"They are trying to blow the gate." Leon said. Wolf was already working on getting ahold of team Star Fox in the scramble.
"There's too many!" Fox's voice came through.
"Don't start sounding like a coward now Fox! Leave this missile to us." Wolf said as all four of his team members moved in.
"Are you all beak and no bite bird-brain?" Leon casually shot to his rival.
"Great, it's the lizard-boy Leon…"
"Well, the gang's all here." Said Krystal, happy to have the help.
Despite almost everyone seeming to have hostile feelings for each other, the two teams meshed relatively well on the battle field. Especially Wolf, now that he no longer had his tag along; he was an amazing pilot… actually his flight technique looked vaguely familiar to her. Where had she seen it before? She looked at the similarities between his and Fox's style,
"Hmm… they both pilot like James." She thought… Then she opened her eyes wide and remembered Leon's words from what felt like an eternity ago now. "…all I can tell you is, it is clearly a personal vendetta." Her eyebrows and ears rose as the realization dawned on her; it looks like he had been keeping things from her as well. Then she heard something beep, coming back into focus she did loop after loop to avoid the small swarm on her tail.
"Damn, I can't shake them!" Billie said aggravated at herself, she hadn't been able to keep her head out of the clouds all day. Wolf swooped in from behind her and blasted them away; he made it look easy.
"Don't lose your head again." His tone sounded like he was teasing her.
"Damn, how many are there?" Krystal said trying to shake a cluster on her tail.
"One thing after another, this is never gonna end!" Falco sounded like he was giving up.
Billie thought it time to show off one of her ships best features, She looped herself around quickly, the x shaped wings creating a large sharp ball, she weaved over and under the clusters of enemies, they went splat as she mowed through them.
"It's good to see you again." Krystal said to her in appreciation.
"Yeah, you seem to be a bit late to the party." Billie joked back.
The two teams cleared the enemies and their missiles until space once again, seemed a vast empty place.
"That's it!" Fox's happily sang in over chat. "We did it!"
"Another missile detected." Came the voice of a robot to all of their surprise.
"Uhhh… that looks bigger than a missile." Falco said; taking in the gargantuan sight of what they all hoped was the last thing these Aparoids had up their sleeve.
"Fox, leave the enemies around it to us." Wolf said looking at the new wave it had brought in with it. Team Star Wolf then moved forward, giving the enemy everything they had. But no matter how many they took out there were only more; they were like a flood.
"Common' everyone, we can't give up now." Peppy said.
Billie looked at her teammates trying to keep back the horrible numbers, then she looked at Fox… he could make a dent in that thing… if there were more gunman working on it. She gripped her steering wheel, knowing exactly what she had to do.
"Everyone focus on the missile, leave the Aparoids to me," she said with a sternness she seldom ever used.
"Are you crazy?" Wolf said.
"You just gotta trust me alright!" she snapped not in the mood for his crap. "And please don't resent me for this… just help Fox." Wolf looked confused for a moment; then he saw her ship become still and her cockpit opened.
"BILLIE! WHAT ARE YOU-" he stopped short, for he could not see her, the only thing coming from her cockpit was a pitch black smoke, that moved like liquid. It quickly spanned the radius of her ship.
"What in the world?" Slippy said in shock.
"What is that?" Leon asked in awe.
Then arising from the smoke, they saw the silhouette of a humanoid figure. Almost blending in with the black of space, it zoomed through the vicinity with ship like speed, and arrow like precision pierced straight through the center of each enemy. Taking them out in surprisingly efficient rate, their numbers were actually reducing now.
"Well, I don't believe it! She's a Shadow Legion!" Krystal said.
"A what?" Wolf quickly asked.
"That explains her unusual thought patterns… but that's strange I always thought they were just a myth…I guess the legend is true about what happened to them then."
"What is going on?" Fox said
And that was all Wolf needed to hear, to know Billie knew what she was doing.
"You heard Billie! Get your asses focused on that missile!" Wolf said to everyone.
"Right!" everyone called through at once.
"I still don't understand what is going on… I mean how is she breathing?"
"Relax Slippy, if the old tales of the Shadow Legions are true; then we have nothing to worry about down there. She has given us this opportunity, let's make it count." Krystal said.
"Yeah, but it's still pretty cool to watch." Falco said a bit distracted.
"It accelerates as it loses parts!" Peppy said, putting everyone's focus on the great wepon.
And with everyone focused on it they broke it down quickly, then in one great simultaneous shot from the back, they blasted it through.
"Missile destruction confirmed." Fox said as they all watched the explosion drown in the vacuum of space.
"Krystal, what is a Shadow Legion?" Wolf asked as he watched Billie zip back to her ship right over him.
"Well, legends of their powers and prowess can be traced back to even thousands of years ago. However because there has never been any physical evidence of their culture or existence; people always assumed they were just that: a legend. To actually see one in the flesh, this is amazing." She answered him.
"Billie that **was** amazing." Panther said once her cockpit had closed. "How did you do it?"
"Yeah, thanks for the help." Fox said. And although he wanted to stay and ask her more about his father, they had something much more important to deal with now. "Okay team, move out!" And with that team Star Wolf was alone, watching them use the gate to go somewhere unknown.
"Where do you suppose they are off to?" Billie asked in a soft, tired voice.
"Aparoid home world." Wolf said never missing a trick. "I'm putting a lock on the Great Fox; we are going to help them finish this thing once and for all. And Billie…"
She sat silently waiting to be scolded.
"If we live, you can tell us the whole truth." He said relatively softly. Too surprised and sleepy to respond she just nodded.
Then the team flew off for Sargasso.
* * *
When they finally arrived at the base, not one of wasted a second; each knew exactly what they had to do. Panther went off to get them a little pick me up; it had been almost seven hours since they had last eaten. Leon began to refuel the Wolfens for the long trip. And Billie, with a groggy yawn inspected the ships for little repairs she could quickly make. Wolf noticing how tired she seemed all of a sudden; stayed to help her. They were on top of one of Leon's wings, she was soldering a peppered group of holes shut, and he was helping with a soldering iron of his own.
"So, are you tired because of what you did back there?" He questioned while they worked.
"Yeah, I never did learn how to use it properly…" She mumbled.
"You mean, that black… smoke?"
"It's called the shadow lace. It is the energy within all Shadow Legion."
"You use your own life energy to fight?"
"Yes. We all did; we were once a great many that is why the dubbed us the Legion; For we are many… well were."
"What happened to them?" Wolf stopped working and looked at her. "What happened to your people?"
She looked up at him with her tired, bloodshot eyes. "I don't know…" she said as her eyes watered a bit. "It's true what Krystal said; I am the last, but I was also one of the weakest…" she trailed off and looked at her heavily striped hands. For that instant, Wolf looked at her like he wanted to hold her, and kiss her tears away, then reality came crashing from under them with Panther's voice;
"Coffee!" he held up paper cups to each of them from below. Wolf wanted to throttle him, but then he remembered they were on a tight schedule so he just grabbed a cup.
"Thank you."Billie grabbed the other and took a heavy gulp trying to wake back up. Wolf opened up his mouth to speak, but she spoke first.
"All I have to check now is my ship." Then she quickly jumped down.
"Did I interrupt something?" Panther looked up at Wolf, who just sighed.
* * *
They all got into their vessels and checked the systems; everything seemed to be running okay.
"Everyone ready? This may be our last mission; don't screw it up." Wolf said as they all closed themselves in.
"It's all good." Said Leon.
"Me too." Billie chimed.
"Ready here." Panther echoed.
And with that they made a leap into hyperspace, Wolf knew they would catch Fox either in the nick of time, or have to mop up their mess. He really hoped it wasn't the latter as they continued on through the long jump.
"Uhm, Wolf; again I'm not questioning you. But why are we doing this? Even if we succeed in helping Star Fox; **we **still won't be getting paid." Panther said after a long silence in their hyper jump.
"I'm aware. And I'm not worried about it. Billie just made us money we'll be able to use for a long time," He said still sitting on his lumpy seat filled with bills. "But if what I read about these Aparoids from the military's files is true; Star Fox cannot fail. Or it will be the end of everyone, not just them."
"Besides, don't you want to save your future wife?" Leon cackled to him.
"Ah yes… How I've been missing Krystal so. Her voice is a sweet wine I would gladly drink from at the moment of my death."
"Damn Panther…" Billie giggled.
"So, Ms. Shadow Legion… in case we die I must know." Leon started. "His imaginary wife."
"Watch it." Panther cut in.
"Yes his err; 'wife' said something about you being old. And no evidence of your culture left. What's that mean?"
They waited a few seconds in silence for her response; each one curious to know the answer. When her face finally came up on screen, they could only see the top half. She was looking down steadily, and her eyebrows curved up like she was in a sad thought.
"Uhm, how old would you guess I am? Don't try to flatter me." She looked up.
"About my age." Wolf said ironically, a second later wishing he hadn't. She looked back down; and he felt like a jackass. But little was he aware that was not the reason she looked down. She was still groggy and she was looking for somewhere to begin.
"I'm guessing it's a lot older than you look dear. My lovely Krystal said so herself."
"Oh lord, who remembers…" Billie muttered. "But I think it's somewhere around 97."
"Well you certainly don't show it." Panther concluded.
"Do you not remember anything?" Leon asked wondering why she said who remembers.
"Oh no I remember everything clearly, however Shadow Legion don't celebrate birthdays… or even keep track. It gets to be a bit absurd; it's like who wants to celebrate their 100nth birthday you know?"
"Are you immortal?" Wolf asked in shock.
"No, well yes… but no. Sort of; we do not age past a certain point, however we can still get hurt and die just like anyone else." She said nervously. "That is why we used to grow our hair out; we would tell who the oldest and most experienced were by the length of their hair. I never cut mine after I fled, because it never felt right to do so."
"97 years… What have you been doing all that time?" Wolf asked.
"I knew you worked metal like an old master." Leon applauded.
"Wolf…" Billie said in a small feminine voice that made his face flush. "If we survive, I'll tell you everything." She said wanting to get her mind focused on what laid ahead of them.
"Deal." He said with a toothy grin.
"But I do need to tell you…" she went on. "The night we met… after you had me pinned; I was hoping you would finish me off."
"What?" Panther said.
"Why?" Wolf shot out.
"It's complicated." She said hiding her eyes.
"Billie. No matter what happens next…" Wolf said trying to meet her gaze. "I'm glad I didn't."
She smiled, and they all remained within the silence before the battle as they sped on through the cold vacuum of space. Each praying they would make it in time to aid their rivals.
13. Chapter 13
CHAPTER 13
"We're here." Was what they heard from Wolf as they all left hyperspace. Still following Wolf's track they went straight towards an ironically peaceful looking planet. However as they came in close they realized looks were deceiving.
"The trail ends there…" Wolf said as they broke into a wider formation.
"Oh my God." Billie said.
Lying in front of them trapped in some sort of honeycomb shield was the Great Fox. Burning in a horrible cloud of ebony smoke; at first it looked like the hull was moving. But as they flew by they saw Aparoids crawling over every inch, tearing it to pieces.
"Nothing we can do." Wolf said "We need to take our opening now."
They all followed him through a small damaged portion of the shield, and as they sailed on through a long tunnel structure Billie watched the once great vessel shrink into the distance; gone forever. And they weren't in this tunnel long before they came up upon four Arwings, Wolf's instincts were right on the money as usual. Then a chat was opened:
"Wolf!" Fox said in surprise.
"Humph! I'm surprised you fools managed to get this far." Leon said in a cocky voice.
"What was that?" Falco shot back to him
Panther of course, turned his attention straight to Krystal. "Don't worry Krystal; I'll protect you from here on in."
"Panther…" she said a bit flustered.
"So eight ships in all, well I guess that's better than four!" Slippy said.
"Yeah especially with my baby!" Billie said patting the dash of her ship.
"I guess you survived, huh?" Wolf said pulling up to the lead next to Fox.
"Just barely."
"Let's do this!"
"Right! We've got to find the queen and put an end to this."
"You think we are just gonna sit here and watch you work?"
"For Peppy!" Krystal said. "And everyone else counting on us."
"Well, just do the best you can." Leon said a bit less than enthusiastic.
Billie gripped her striped hands to her wheel, and got ready to do what she hoped would be the best piloting skills she ever had to date. They all spun and rolled through the massive living tube. Drone after drone came at them, only to be vaporized by the flare of their gun turrets.
"Be careful, the walls are jutting out!" Fox said taking evasive maneuvers.
"Keep your advice to yourself pup." Wolf shot to him, he was already on the ball pulling barrel rolls and back loops. The gray lupine had some years on Fox in the piloting world; and with it experience.
But still, the walls moved with a will of their own; shaping any and every kind of barrier they could conceive. Trying to keep the intruders from reaching their queen: from reaching their heart. But the hive mind could not out maneuver the eight ace pilots, who quickly moved into the planets core as if they were on tracks. The enemy would still persist however; lines of lasers came from the walls in strangely shapes, sampling every conceivable pattern to see which would be successful in stopping the infiltrators. And both teams continued to give as good as they had, even in the heat of battle they could still find their humanity however each giving each other some friendly taunting as the mass slaughter of Aparoids continued into the core of their home world. Each pilot was aware, they were probably going to die in this horrible place, but they would die for something greater than their old rivalry could stretch; they would die for their right to exist in this world, they would die for each other. This was the unspoken absolution they had each discovered from this dreadful situation, they would lay their asses on the line quite prepared to die, for themselves and for everyone else the Aparoids did threaten.
* * *
Deep into the planet now after what seemed like an eternity of chaos, defenses took a massive step upward; little spheres of hot plasma began to erupt from the walls, too many to shoot. There was nothing they could do, but perhaps cause a distraction to allow their rivals to finish the job.
"Looks like we are at the grand finale hun." Panther said to someone in particular and everyone.
"Fox, we'll take care of these guys, you guys keep going! Leon, Panther, Billie; let's move!" Wolf said, knowing full well that this is why they came. "C'mon you fucking bugs, catch us if you can!" And with that, all of team Star Wolf raced on ahead, to take a massive beating; only to give team Star Fox a momentary opening.
"Wolf!" Fox called in protest.
"Fox there's no time!" Krystal said realistically.
"Right…" Fox said remorsefully. "It's time to confront the queen. Let's get moving!" And with that Star Fox took the opening Star Wolf's sacrifice had granted them. They sped onward to the very center of the planet; leaving behind a group of selfless, unsung heroes they knew full well they would most likely never see again.
"Wolf what now?!" Billie cried in her heavily damaged ship.
"We just buy them time!" He yelled dealing with his own troubles.
"This is suicide!" Leon yelled.
"Looks like I'm not going to get that first class meal I wanted. I'll have to settle for coffee as my last meal I suppose…" Panther said in a surprisingly smooth voice for their situation.
"Alright listen you candy-asses! I don't expect us to win; I don't even expect us to live! I just **need** you to endure!" Wolf said back looping to shoot a cluster off of his tail.
"Right!" They all said together, willing to die on their boss's word.
They pulled a wide U-turn in formation, trying to get out of the planets crust before Fox's little group could succeed in their mission. But the flood of Aparoids just became more, and more. Like the entire planet's population was after the four of them. The more they destroyed the more took their place, until all they could see were crawling masses, all around them. They could not even determine which way was up.
"It's been an honor serving with you all." Panther said as he began taking critical damage.
"Likewise." Leon said for the first time sounding sincere.
"Billie…" Wolf started as he watched them get closed in.
"Don't you do that! Don't you say your goodbyes to me!" she screamed cutting him off. In the next instant her entire ship became flooded with the shadow lace. It ran like rushing water all around her ship and spreading over to her three teammates. Wolf looked up through the glass, speechless as he became encased in the warm darkness. Once his ship was covered all he could see was the glow from his dashboard and his e-patch.
"Outstanding…" Panther said slowly as he watched the running ebony smoke encase him in its warm embrace.
Leon began to laugh with manic relief, as the shadow eclipsed the light from the outside he knew they were going to live. And although none of them could see anything in the darkness they felt the force of movement; so much so they were forced back into their seats. They went on what seemed like a long time, although they could not tell if it was a long flight or if it was just the numbing pain of being at those speeds for a long period.
The entire planet began to shake, like it was ready to evacuate them from its core with all haste. And although they could not feel it directly they heard it, as well as loud, miserable cries of pain.
"GAAAAH!" was all that escaped from Billie, as she preformed this amazing seemingly boundless jump from the energy within her own body… surely when she said she had not been the strongest of the Shadow Legion she had been grossly underselling herself.
"Is the earth quaking from Billie, or did Fox succeed in his mission?!" Panther yelled for someone to hear.
"Both!" Leon answered.
They continued to zoom fourth in the dark, completely unaware if they were still near the planet or on it once the sound of the deafening explosions had ceased. Then they all felt the pressure release as they came to a slower pace; then eventually a full stop. The shadow lace lifted away from their vessels; and out of the blackness there became a painted beautiful field of stars.
"We… are in space again?" Leon said in relieved disbelief.
"Well that was one hell of a ride." Panther sighed trying to get his pulse down.
Then from behind, they maneuvered their ships to see the Aparoid planet in the distance, explode in a fiery sphere, and then drown out leaving only the darkness of the void.
"They did it… son of a bitch they actually pulled it off." Wolf gasped in slight disbelief. "Billie, you did it!" He said in gratitude to their escape artist.
"Yes, once again bravo!" Panther cheered.
"Yeah, you really are something." Leon finally admitted.
"Billie?" Wolf asked looping over the top of her ship, which still hadn't moved. He rested his engines in front of hers, and saw her in the cockpit; leaning straight back into the chair her head hanging down, her face covered by loose black hair.
"Billie?!" Wolf shouted. "If you can move answer me, that's an order!"
…Nothing.
"Oh no…" Panther said joining Wolf's side to look.
Without a moment's hesitation Wolf used his piloting skills to pull in next to her and lock his Wolfens wing under her ships curved wing.
"Help me!" he ordered to anyone. Leon quickly did the same on the other side.
"Sargasso, we have to get her back to Sargasso!" Wolf yelled as he revved his engine to life. Leon and Panther nodded in agreement, and Panther led the way as they fired off in the direction they had come from. Like a bat out of hell; they were all determined to get their teammate to medical attention, but it seemed so very far out of reach; all they could do at this point was cross their fingers.
"Hold on Billie…" Wolf pleaded to himself more so than to her. "Hold on."
14. Chapter 14
CHAPTER 14
Immediately after they landed Wolf not even waiting for the canopy of his cockpit to open fully leaped out and made a dash for Billie. Her cockpit would not open from the outside without her signal however.
"Damnit all to hell!" He hissed in a blazing rage. Not wasting any time he ripped out his gun and with all of his strength; bashed the bayonet on the end into the glass. One… two… three, it cracked and on four it shattered. Leon and Panther climbed up and helped to clear away the jagged edges with their gloved hands. Wolf reached in and pulled her up from under her arms but her hands wouldn't budge; they were gripping the steering wheel. He set her back down and tried to pry her hands away, the black stripes that had once covered them had now vanished quite entirely. When he finally pried her clutched fingers off, he saw a little bit of blood in her palms that had been caked to the wheel; in the shape of the stripes that had once run along the very same space.
With the aid of his teammates he carefully pulled her limp body out of the compartment, and upon looking into her face; calm and still like a statue he saw a thick trail of dry blood running from her nose, down her chin to her neck. He swore under his breath and scooped her up in his arms, leaping down to the ground below with her cold body he began to sprint through the flight deck.
"Medic!" Wolf called repeadatley through the crowd of criminal underlings. And finally upon reaching an upstairs platform; an old brown ape that Wolf recognized from his medical work in the venom army appeared, and asked him to lay her down on a flat surface. Wolf carried her into his own quarters and set her on the bed, then the experienced doctor shooed him and his teammates out of the room.
* * *
The three Star Wolf members waited in the hallway for a brutally agonizing ten minutes; Leon had propped his back against the wall with his arms crossed, and for once the chameleon seemed impossible to read. Panther was standing in the middle observing his teammates behavior. And Wolf was angrily switching between pacing back and forth and stopping to lean on the wall and twiddle his large clawed thumbs.
"But we can still get hurt and die…" those words rung in his head like hells bells now. Panther wanted to say something to calm him down; but he felt that perhaps his silent company would mean more than some empty words he could toss out for them to be heard today. And at last, the medic arose from the room.
"Well?" Wolf quickly shot to him.
"Your comrade has entered a state of extreme exhaustion like I have never seen before." He said in a rough voice. "The bleeding I'm sure you saw was the result of this; it's quite literally as if the energy was aggressively sucked out through her skin. This damaged muscle ans skin tissue, which accounts for the bleeding. However her body's natural responses should heal it up like they would a bruise while she sleeps."
"So she's going to be okay then?" Panther questioned before Wolf could.
"Yes, don't get me wrong, she will be asleep for quite a while; her body has entered some form of rapid sleep like a comma... but also not a comma: it is hard to explain. It's really quite extraordinary; as if the body was designed to react this way. But yes she will be fine. But do try to keep it down when she wakes up, I wager she will have one spectacular headache." And with that the good doctor walked down the hallway and out of their line of sight.
Wolf not wasting an iota of time rushed into the room. Leon tried to follow but Panther placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.
"Just give them some time alone." He assured his teammate. Leon nodded.
* * *
In the dimed light of his room, he watched the soft glow of light on her face. It looked like the doctor had cleaned up the blood and bandaged her hands up. She looked so peaceful in her cold sleep; not like Billie at all. Wolf had seen her sleep; she was loud and breathed through her mouth, drooled everywhere. He didn't like this, it wasn't her; it was like some lifeless shell. In the past he had found the sound of her obnoxious breathing relaxing; but this, this silence was awful. He paced the foot of the bed slowly, just to hear his footsteps on the metal. Then finally noticing how exhausted he was from everything that occurred today he just sat down on the foot of the bed. Not wanting to think about how cold she was, like death was on her; he looked down at the floor.
"Damn Billie…" he said knowing full well his words fell on deaf ears. "it takes a lot to scare me, but damn." He reached up and felt the throbbing bruise where Taylor's guard had knocked him across the head.
"I need a cigarette." He mumbled, but didn't move. He didn't want to leave yet, not until she woke. He didn't want the person who just saved his life to wake up from it alone. Sitting strait up with his forearms resting on his thighs; he tried to keep his head up, but to no avail. His head hung down and he fell asleep sitting up.
Little did Wolf know Billie was caught in one of her dreams: Billie was caught in one of her nightmares. Once again just a small child, with big brown eyes she was surrounded by her purple leaved lovelies. It was then that she saw the shadow lace split the sky above her, instantly she made a run for it. The shadow lace did persist, or at least the one controlling it did; the blackness forged into massive clawed hands behind her. She could not outrun them forever, the voice of the wretched woman in her head made that abundantly clear.
"What you have concealed, you shall become!"
Billie screamed with the high pitched voice of a child. She continued to run through the darkness, sucking in air as she sobbed in terror. Then her body smacked against something, she fell backwards and looked up. A very tall man stood in front of her; she could not see his face, he kept his back to her. But the large silhouette spoke.
"What are you doing?" He said.
"What?" she said still sobbing uncontrollably?
"What are you doing? Why do you still linger here? There is work to be done."
"Wh- who are you?" she said still on her knees.
"Pick yourself up Billie! This is pathetic!" the silhouette turned around revealing only the blue glow of a left eye that peirced the darkness.
"Wolf?" she stood up speaking in the clear voice of an adult. Then his glow faded and she got sucked through the dark ground under like quicksand.
"Wha?!" Billie shot up in Wolf's bed in a cold sweat. "What the hell?" she said looking down at her shaking bandaged hands. She gasped in air, letting it sink in that had just been a bad dream. She put her square palms up to her forehead and slowed her breathing. Her body was still shaking from the dream.
"Ugh, why does my head hurt?" the last thing Billie remembered was being caught in the crust of that Aparoid planet with no foreseeable way out; she vaguely remembered someone exchanging last words. But everything after that was a dense blur of physical pain and little visions of the shadow lace fingering its soft warm coils around her. Then she finally calmed down enough to hear deep breathing in the dark with her. She turned the dim line bulb that was over the bed up a notch; the room filled with light and on the foot of a bed that she clearly knew was not her own she saw her boss hunched over, he sounded like he was half snoring.
With her weak trembling muscles, she slowly inched to the side of the bed. And although her hands felt weak, and her head still felt fuzzy; her legs felt perfectly fine. This did not surprise her, as the shadow lace arose from the hands of a Shadow Legion, and was visible through the optic area. She grabbed the sheet that had been covering her and draped it over Wolf's shoulders; however this only succeeded in waking him up. He blinked himself awake and turned his head to see a frizzy haired Billie looking at him.
"Billie!" he said through the deep rings under his eyes.
"What happened? Did the Aparoid planet get destroyed?" she asked trying to fill the blanks.
"You don't remember?" Billie just shook her head.
"Well, that was some display of power out there. You saved all of our lives." Wolf said in a soft tone of relief.
"Yeah… wait, my baby! Is my ship okay?! We took a lot of fire!" She gasped
Wolf just smirked glad to see she was still the Billie he had set out with.
"Yeah, you laugh it up… But in almost 70 years that ship has been my only constant companion." She said getting up to go look at the damage.
Wolf quickly stood and grabbed her shoulders with his large hands, holding her still.
"Billie, you nearly killed yourself out there, you aren't goin' anywhere until you rebuild the energy you used up out there." He said with a stern gaze.
"Oh please," she spat holding up her bandaged hands. "**This** is nothing. I have had way worse." Then she tried to walk away ending the conversation. But Wolf's large fingers did not budge.
Once again her words rang in his head, like a horrid mission bell; 'But we can still get hurt and die.'
"Let go." She said slowly.
"Billie, you were cold, bloody and limp like a corpse. I thought you were dead." He said it slowly, like every word was difficult to say.
"Yeah, and now I need some headache pills what's your point?" she said sarcastically. However Wolf was in no mood; which he made clear with the narrowing of his violet eye. She couldn't read the reaction at all, he didn't look mad or worried really, this was something else. But what she did notice was how tight his grip was becoming; like he was trying to clench his fists.
"Wolf you are being ridiculous…"
"Billie…" he said trailing off.
"You don't have to say it." She said putting her hands down in defeat.
Wolf didn't want to fall in love; it was like some sick cruel joke. You walk around tough as nails, sometimes people around you die, didn't mean you had to bat an eye. That was the business he was in. But this person could not die: not on his watch, not while he could still help it. Never having felt this way before he had no idea how to act, how to make it known; not that it mattered she was already aware. So all he managed to do in the next moment was pull her into himself, draping her small frame in his large arms. She made a small squeaky noise in surprise, and then she felt his hand on the back of her head: and for once just decided to shut up and return the hug.
"Fine." She said muffled by his chest. "But I'm only staying in here until my temperature comes back up."
"Deal." He said and backed himself back to his bed. He sat down on the side with her legs draped over his lap. They just sat there in the comfortable silence; her shaking body drank in his body's heat, and she let herself recover from the ordeal of what was now yesterday. Wolf still not so great with expressing anything besides anger just held her up with his arms and let the top of his muzzle rest on the side of her face. It was a fantastic sensation; with no words they stayed this way for a long time, how long? Neither felt like they needed to keep track.
* * *
However much time later, they emerged from Wolf's room and Billie went to clean herself up. Wolf finally found an e-cig and leaned back in the seat of his Wolfen counting the money that was under it, letting the glowing cigarette hang from his lips.
In the bathroom, Billie looked at herself in the mirror. It was very early in the morning and she had the place to herself; she slowly replaced her braid and looked at it. She knew she had to tell Wolf what she was now; and where she came from, the whole truth. She had to tell all of her teammates, she needed them to understand; especially Wolf. Billie looped her braid back into its place along her neck then looked down at her hands. Using her black claws she tore the bandages away, revealing her clean white hands. She wished she could remember exactly what she had done back on the Aparoid home world; but it was still just a blur. Letting out a long sigh she thought back on her dream, it was definitely Wolf; Wolf who had told her to stand, to get back to her feet and fight. He had become an embodiment of her strength even though she still knew so little of him. However in the past, she had been dealt many a great kindness from people she knew very little about. Now ready to leave she picked up her antique bone comb, she let her fingers run across where the missing prong once was.
"Devin…" she whispered lost in nostalgia. Then as she thought of Wolf, the thought finally came into her head; she knew even if James had lived, and even if Wolf lived on for a long time she would be bound by her blood: the blood of a Shadow Legion, to linger on and watch the slow decay of time take them away from her. She held the comb close to her heart and with the dream of Wolf still fresh in her mind; a single tear streaked down her face leaving a trail in her snow white fur. She fell down to her knees, and wept in the silence.
15. Chapter 15
CHAPTER 15
Re-gathering her emotions, and keeping them in check like she had been forced to do thousands of times before, Billie made her way to the flight deck.
"OHHH MYYY GAAAWD!" Billie said looking at the wrecked heap that had once been her baby. Wolf looked over at her from his money counting.
"What the fuck happened to the canopy?!" she snarled.
"I had to get you out somehow." Wolf chuckled to himself.
"My babay! Oh gawd… Wolf hold me; I think I'm gonna be si-hi-hiiiick!" she gasped being overly dramatic. Wolf leaped down and took up space next to her.
"Think of it this way," he said offering her his e-cig. "now is the perfect opportunity for all of us to get upgraded.
"Oh yeah that's easy for you to say!" She said throwing her hands up into the air. "How much of that money are you going to give me to play with?"
"None of this." He said realizing she wasn't going to take the e-cig and sliding it back into his pocket. "You can use the money from my old stash, it's in my mattress."
"Oh, okay I'll see what I can do." She sighed. "But what are you going to do with that?" she said watching the bills in his hand.
"I'm playing around with an idea…" he said vaguely not looking at her. All she could see was his e-patch in his profile. "I'll let you know more when I know more." He concluded.
"Well, I see sleeping beauty is awake." Came a smooth flirty voice.
"Hey Panther. Hey Leon." Billie said cheerfully.
"Good to see you up and about." Leon said, now that they all had a sort of newfound respect for each other; they were officially a very smoothly operating team. And could enjoy the lighter side of one another's company.
"Oh I've had far worse." She giggled, showing she was now comfortable with the chameleon.
"Panther, I believe you said something about a first-class meal on Corneria yesterday." Billie said. "Come on Wolf is buying! I know where his secret stash is!"
As the three of them stampeded off to get Wolf's money, he just narrowed his eye and shook his head; but there was a little smirk creeping its way onto his face.
* * *
As the four gathered in the cafeteria, they each got a large breakfast and spoke of a great many things. Mainly what Billie was planning on doing with their ships; they all seemed very much on board. Billie having to linger on and on, truly cherished little moments like these: when she could forget the fighting, and criminals, and even what she was for a little while and enjoy the company of good friends. Billie laughed and snorted trying to keep her composure.
"Okay, okay… I'm ready this time. Throw it." She said to Leon.
"Are you sure this time?" He snickered eyeing the little cloud of shadow lace between her hands.
"Yeah, just throw it!" she taunted.
And just like that, Leon threw a very large dagger straight at the little black target. Instantly it vanished into the pitch dark; and not two seconds later shot back out headed straight for Leon's head with twice the force he had thrown it.
"Whoa!" he said ducking in time for it to clang against the metal wall behind him and fall to the floor.
"Well that's amazing." He said picking it up.
"Yeah, little things like that are pretty easy to do." Billie said sitting back down in front of her plate. She was sitting directly across from Wolf, who had been silently watching. And although he was elated to see her feeling so good, he wanted to know more.
"Billie?" he said putting his cup down.
"MMHFM?" she said with a full mouth.
"When we first met, that night at the bar… why did you want me to kill you? Why did you wish to die?" He said looking into her face, awaiting any kind of reaction. Billie slowed her chewing; then washed it down with a large swig from her cup. She took a gulp of air afterwards, and looked down at her plate…
"I owe you, all of you an apology." She said looking up to Wolf. "I should have told you from the moment you let me join… I should have told you at least some of my history… but it is… difficult." She trailed off. "I don't know where I should begin…"
"Why don't you just start from the beginning?" Panther said sympathetically. "I believe my lovely Krystal had said something about your people having been, wiped out?"
"Yeah…" she sighed. She rubbed her hand on her forehead in frustration. "But that's not exactly the beginning."
Wolf looked at their surroundings, the sock monkeys were running about everywhere doing whatever it is they did.
"My office?" he said hoping she would be more relaxed in front of less people. Billie silently nodded, and they all got up.
* * *
Several minutes later they had all settled into his office for the long tale about to ensue. Leon sat on the sofa sharpening the blade he'd thrown at her earlier. Wolf sat in his chair leaning back in it with his arms crossed. And Panther leaned up against the door with his hands in his pockets. Billie gazed out of the wall window; out at the nebula both her and Wolf would oft gaze up at for no particular reason.
"Okay Billie… you knew you would have to tell someone eventually." She sighed to herself. "I need to start out, by telling you all; the reason I never admitted to anyone my true nature, the fact that I am a Shadow Legion… is because I never wanted to be."
"With that kind of power?" Leon questioned. "Why not?"
Billie turned to look at them. "Being a part of the Legion… it was not something you would wish upon even your worst enemy, it was not someting that was praised and celebrated… it's nothing but a curse."
Billie and Wolf exchanged a quick glance, then leaning back on the glass running her fingers over her comb she finally started her sad life's story; and she would leave nothing out.
"A long time ago, in a system far from the Lylat there was a reletivley small planet called Esreia. (EZ-RAY-UH) It was not so different from Corneria… except, the cities were mainly in deserts, so that the wildlife of the lush fertile forests would stay untouched. This planet was shrouded by the shadows of three moons; one of which was habitable and it was called Esreia minor. About 97 years ago, give or take four years or so… that is where I was born."
Billie shifted her feet a bit, nervous to continue. As all of her teammates listened intently; she looked to Wolf who gave her a slight nod.
"While Esreia itself was a bustling hub of cities in the deserts kept running by advanced technology; Esreia minor was very different. Everyone on that moon lived a slow paced life, contented in the ordinary and the routine, my mother loved to garden for example. She would grow the most exquisite white flowers; they had these beautiful thick purple leaves, I would often wander through the garden and sleep there. She was a kind, warm woman; a lovely black fox with a brown blaze running up her nose."
"Your mother was a fox?" Wolf asked a little surprised at his fellow lupine.
"Yes my father was a large white wolf who had fallen in love with her and her gardening ability. That is actually the reason I have such soft features for a wolf." She added. And for the first time Wolf finally did see her soft features, and the brownish tinge of the blaze her mother had given her muzzle.
"And while the people of this moon enjoyed a slow paced life; behind the closed doors there was a terrible burden that dangled over their heads. You see the people who lived here, were carriers for the gene… the gene that would present itself while the child was still young. The gene of the Shadow Legion… Little was known about them by the general masses; and they liked it that way. To everyone on the outside looking in: they were the emotionless tools of war, which were hardened into the greatest military force of their time. Once a child had presented the ability to call upon shadow lace, they were forever marked; not only by the people but physically marked. My brown eyes turned pitch black, my nails followed. Even the blaze up my muzzle got a little black in the center..." She said rubbing it with her fingers. "It used to be all brown, I used to look like my mom..."
Wolf looked at her frosted black nails; he had always thought it was polish.
"Although it was an exceedingly rare chance; no one ever wanted their child to be a Legion. I will never forget how my parents did weep as the sentries came to take me away to the academy…"
"The academy?" Panther asked. Billie nodded.
"We were allowed to take nothing from our old life with us, and our parents were powerless to stop them. My mother held on to me for dear life, but I was pulled away… the last time I saw my parents they were screaming for the sentries not to take me, I never saw that little house in the boonies again. Or my parents… or any of my old friends, nothing. Those born with the gene were uncommonly rare you understand; so whenever one was reported, usually out of fear due to all of the dogma, we were immediately taken to the academy to being the training. I was nine years old…"
"I see…" Panther said in a truly empathetic tone.
"They needed every Legion they could find, and due to our rarity they would take us by absolutely any means necessary. You see although we had incredible life spans; we would still often be injured in battle and many would not survive…"
She paused and walked over to Wolf's desk; she then sat on the end with her legs crossed, facing their general direction, She sighed and thought about where to continue.
"Well, after we were taken, it took a day to transport us by train; up to the northern most point of Esreia minor, this is where the academy was. I will never forget that train ride..." She shuttered.
"Me and the three others on the train with me were frightened, there was one boy who was younger than me, he only looked five or six and we tried to get him to stop crying… When the sentries took him away from his home, his older brother had tried to fight them: they killed him. That was when I knew that no matter what happened in the future, or how things changed; I could never go back to my parents. I would only put them at risk. What I did notice about the sentries as they shoved us off of the train into the cold was how expressionless they were… it was unnatural, they looked neither happy nor sad; and everyone's eyes were the same the deep unnatural pitch black, like mine had become. And it was cold, bitter cold like Fichina; no more flowers, or warmth, the air was cold and thin I remember it hurting to breath it in for the first time. There was a great castle like structure carved into the side of the mountain: this was the academy all Shadow Legion were doomed to. They hurried us in, and took our clothes; they gave us these matching black uniforms… that place had no color, or light; everything was black and white. Then they shaved all of our heads, and told us from this point on to never cut our hair again. After that we were shown to our own rooms, and the morning after the lessons ensued. For the first few months we only learned of Shadow Legion history, and about the shadow lace: where it came from how it could be applied to real world situations exedra, exedra… "
"So what is it?" Wolf asked intrigued by that statement.
"Well, I would often comb through the library during my years there, looking through one old tome after another… and as far as anyone could tell it's just our life energy. One of our professors studied the Shadow Legion genes closely, the reason we don't age is because we quite literally have a tremendous excess of life energy to give; this allows our cells to make a more productive use of cell death and as new cells emerge from where the old ones died there is no slow breakdown of tissue that causes aging in all other species. Anyone in this room has a double helix DNA structure making up their entire being, well we are the same: except there are more of them, thousands more than any other life form known to date. So for lack of a better term our genetic make-up is… perfect. And that is how those people loved to decribe themselves... as if they were so superior." she scrunched up her muzzle in distgust.
"And occasionally for some reason that science could not explain, people would sometimes be born this way; but only on Esreia minor. That is why the academy was there.
"In fact…" she continued. "A lot of scientists from all over the galaxy were intrigued by us. That's how we became an old legend. After Esreia and Esreia minor were destroyed, word of mouth kept up what we used to be… and eventually people forgot it had been true… then we just kind of dribbled down into an urban legend. The reason it became a legend around the Lylat system… and how Krystal knew about it probably had something to do with that crazy scientist a few years back…" she trailed off.
"Andross?" Wolf said sitting up in his chair.
"That's the one." She said pointing at him. "I wager he had heard the old tales of the Shadow Legion soldiers and was trying to come up with something similar." She shrugged
"He must have been looking for some remnant of a carrier for the gene." Leon said thinking back.
"Are you sure? I thought he would only try to replicate it; you know thinking we were a fairy tale."Billie asked surprised.
"So he could live forever…" Wolf started mumbling looking over to Leon.
"Yes..." Leon nodded over recalling the days from Venom.
"Wait, how do you guys know this?" Billie asked.
Leon looked to Billie, then to Wolf who closed his eyes letting out a sigh. "Because, we used to work for him."
"I see…" Billie bit her lip thinking… "Would he have known what my people looked like?" she asked turning her body on the desk to face Wolf.
"Oh I'm positive, the ape made me look sane… but he was definitely a genius." Leon filled in the blank for her.
"Hmm… well anyways... After we were well acquainted with what we were; we were taught how to use it properly. How to call upon it, using only our own will power." She held up her hands, and they watched as the white of her eyes clouded to a full black, and the smoky liquid began to seep from black stripes that began to bleed black into her white fur.
"We were told that the possibilities of it were as endless as our own imaginations… but we were also warned. The shadow lace is linked directly to our emotional current; the more we feel the more energy we unleash. And that…" she said putting her arms down and letting the whites of her eyes shine back through. "Is where the real training begun."
She looked down steadily for several moments, not wanting to open an old wound; but she owed them truth. So she swallowed her fear.
"There was one Legion, who was older than the rest; she had to be at least 1,000. A grey jackal, with long black locks wrapped around her head but still flowing down her back from the top. She was A cruel vindictive woman… although I never learned her name we called her simply: headmaster. The headmaster took our small class, and criminals were brought in before us; she would torture, and mutilate them. She would not kill them; not until every one of us was watching… not until she had them literally begging for the sweet release of death would she finally kill them."
Even Leon looked surprised at that, to do that in front of small children… Billie looked down at her hands, not seeing them but seeing the headmaster's actions rolling like an old film in front of her eyes.
"She would try to break us each individually; until we could control our emotions, by feeling none. One by one, I saw the other students become like her… more and more every day. Every day we had to go to these 'lessons', and every day I tried not to look. I didn't want to use my power; I didn't want to be like her… like them. This went on for five. Fucking. Years."
Tears began to sting at her eyes and she wrapped her arms around her knees.
"Sometimes, when I feel myself losing control of my powers… I still hear her voice inside of my head…"
16. Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
"Is that what happened with the Aparoid?" Wolf asked in a tone Panther and Leon had never heard before.
Billie just nodded; the she sucked in some air and swallowed her tears back.
"The days just began to blur together like that, until I was the only student left who still looked disturbed by it, until I was the only one who would still cry at night. I had to get out of there!" she said with a shaky voice.
"I had to…" her voice became steadier. "I had to." And her voice was stone.
"I ran away, several times. But I always either got caught in a blizzard, or was found by the sentries. In order to keep me from running away, they started making me go to private lessons, just me and the headmaster. No criminals, I was the one who was tortured. She would use her shadow lace to try and pry mine out, until I was cold and weak… like you saw today. No one heard my screams… or no one cared."
Wolf narrowed his eyes and felt himself clench his fists.
"She would say things like, 'what you have concealed you must become.' Or 'this will all be simpler if you let me in'. But I still refused to use it. Sometimes she would just tell me stories about it. About how the actions of one blessed with the shadow lace could affect the many… about how selfish I was being, she would say that is why we are called Shadow **Legion**; for we are many, we must act as one. But I wanted nothing to do with it. And one day, she got fed up with me and made me fight my old class..." she trailed off staring into space.
"They were all there, the other three… even the one younger than me; but there was no trace of that crying boy on the train left inside of him: and they attacked, following orders like the zombies she had turned them into."
"What did you do?" Leon asked on the edge of his seat.
"I tried to fight, but because they were all broken they had undergone much more combat training than me… I was sent to the infirmary many times. The headmaster kept these up, she said I would do it until I won. But the only way to win was to use my shadow lace… so I did. Because I could still feel emotions; like rage, channeled from my hatred of the headmaster I blew them all away! I'll never forget that... I was taking blast after blast, and I heard the headmaster from the sidelines… 'even when you have nothing to lose you are weak' the old crone chanted. And something inside of me just, snapped; I destroyed them all. I sent out wave after wave of the shadow lace larger than any of them had ever seen… and there they were… bloody, mangled, dead… all but one, the youngest who had been crying on the train. He looked up at me, covered in his blood; he grabbed my ankle and for one moment, just one moment in time I saw the lost eyes of that little boy from all those years ago."
They were all staring with their mouth open, hanging on her every word.
"He looked up at me; with the headmaster cheering in the background for me… he looked up at me and said; "RUN". Then he died… right there in front of me. You know… I never even knew his name." She paused for a long moment.
"And so I did, I ran, and ran, and ran… down the side of the mountain. But the headmaster was not going to give up her prize pupil… she chased me, making her shadow lace into large clawed hands. I cried and I sobbed, and i gasped in the stinging cold air. And then again: something inside of me snapped. And my next sensation and the last thing I remembered was my own shadow lace encasing my body; then it all went black."
"How did you get away?" Panther asked in astonishment.
"Well, from what I could gather… I was the first Shadow Legion to ever encase myself in the lace and jettison through space. None of them could follow not even the headmaster. Apparently I crash landed on Esreia … because that is where I was woken up; in a big hole the people just thought I had been a meteor."
She kicked her legs over the side of the desk, she felt a lot lighter... having told them this; having told Wolf this. It was like taking off a really heavy coat.
* * *
"I was woken up in the desert, by a splash of cold water. I got up in shock and there was a cyborg standing over me with a bucket. He asked me if I was dead... I said yes, that gave him a good chuckle. His name was Devin; he was a Labrador, with metal limbs that looked very home made. And when he asked me my name, that was when I realized I didn't remember it. I had not been called by my name since I was nine years old… He asked me if I had amnesia, I said no… then he just said; 'You were just having a bad day?'. Hahaha… Devin always had such a good sense of humor." She looked at them, almost forgetting that they didn't then she cleared her throat and continued.
"Anyways… he said I had landed about 20 feet short of his house. And that I could stay there for a while if I needed to. Then he threw me a greasy old towel… It was a rather embarrassing moment but I hadn't realized all of my clothes had burnt up in the atmosphere…" she trailed off glad that her fur covered up her blush.
"We walked back to his trailer, he lived in a scrap yard on the outskirts of a large city you see, he would deal in scrap; that he would use to make things. Like his limbs. He let me borrow some clothes he said they made me look like a boy, which was true, they were so baggy… and I said 'Just call meh Billy!' in a joking sort of way aaaand the name just stuck." She shrugged.
"Your parents didn't name you that because they wanted a boy then?" Wolf asked with a smirk.
"Naaah, that was just something I told people so I wouldn't have to get into the truth." She giggled.
"So then, you still don't remember your real name?" he said leaning forward over the desk. Billie just shook her head.
"But what I always liked about Devin, was that he didn't ask me questions… it wasn't until I was older I found out he knew I was a Shadow Legion… he had always known because of my eyes. He didn't care, he enjoyed simple things. And I would watch him work with metal, fixing and upgrading things, people's cars, ships, even his own limbs. But one thing he really liked to do with the scrap… was make it into art. He would make the most gorgeous sculptures, and one day he asked if I would like to make one. He took me as his apprentice and showed me all of his metal working techniques."
"I knew you worked like an old master." Leon interrupted.
"Yeah…" she rubbed the back of her head nervously. "He showed me everything he knew, showed me how to treat the metal. He would say there was a way to soothe the metal, with music. I don't think there was ever one day that we didn't work with some old rock songs blaring on his stereo." With a broad smile Billie stretched out.
"Those were the best years of my life. He showed me how to work engines and wiring. How to get the perfect amount of oomph with a set of turrets. And we would both work on the same sculptures and meet in the middle… one day he noticed how my hair was always getting the way of my vision and after dinner he used a bone from our meal to carve this…" she pulled the old comb out of her pocket.
"I have used it on my hair every day since." She looked down at it in nostalgia. And Wolf saw how happy she looked thinking back on those days. Like he had never seen her before.
"That was the life! Wake up, put on some rock music, work up a good sweat in the heat. Then relax and work on some art. Then icy cold showers at night with big dinners. This went on for like three decades. People from the city never understood how we lived out in the desert like that; but me and Devin, we had a slice of paradise out there." She smiled gripping the comb in her hands.
"Were you two lovers?" Wolf asked. Panther shook his head and grinned at that.
"No, well i had brought the idea up… but he said I was 20 years younger than him and that it wouldn't be right. Plus he had a lot of body issues… after the accident that had left him a cyborg you know."
Wolf slowly nodded.
"But as the years went on, him already knowing what I was… he asked me if I wanted to make my own ship. I said hell yes. And we got to work; Devin always said that the perfect ship was just an extension of its pilot. I had learned a little bit about piloting, having to test drive ships for years to see if we had fixed them properly, but this was to be all my own. So we went digging through the scrap, and drew up blue prints with what we had to work with, and I decided I wanted the X loop wings; they were all the rage on Esreia back then. Today you don't see them much…" She trailed off thinking about the repairs she had to make.
"He also asked me where I planned to go. I asked him what he meant… well it was no secret that he was getting on in years, and I was ageless… he told me that he didn't want me to linger on here surrounded by all of the scrap forever. He said I was made for greater things… At first I was hurt by these statements, but after I accepted he was going to die eventually, I realized he was right. I was too close to Esreia minor there… too close to my past. So he started to study my shadow lace; and using some of his old technique and a lot of imagination we made a dark matter tank… one that was fed directly by my own power all those years ago, and has not needed to be refueled once since…"
"Wow, that ship really **is** your baby" Panther chimed in. Billie nodded in agreement.
"Around the time my baby was in her final stages… things were getting bad back on Esreia minor… I didn't know until it started spreading to Esreia… but apparently after I had left, other Shadow Legion had seen; they had seen me break away from the headmasters grip… and they began to question if this was really the only option they had. They had started calling the Legion who had blasted away that day, 'The girl who could not be broken'. And apparently this was a massive influence on younger Legion, and even the people who dwelled in the towns. They had begun fighting back, and many Legions joined them… the headmaster lost all of her power, and a civil war broke out. When I had heard… I realized that even after everything I had gone through… she was right. The actions of one affected the many… her shadow had still shaped me. I wasn't the girl who could not be broken; I was simply the last to be broken. I was the cause of the civil war. Devin had seen it coming… and he put two and two together." She paused and looked up to their puzzled faces.
"Don't you guys see? It was my fault, it was all my fault I was the reason Esreia fell, I was the reason the Shadow Legion and both of those planets were completely destroyed in the war! Devin knew that, and he didn't care… his sole concern was getting me off before the war spread to our neck of the woods." She stood up quickly and tried to fight back more tears.
"Everything was destroyed because of me, I had become the weapon the headmaster had always wanted me to be… And I left, I just left! I flew away in the ship me and Devin had made together, and I watched the two planets dissolve behind me. It was my entire fault!" She put her face into her hands and wept.
"For confiding in us, we are most humbled." Panther said as Wolf stood up and walked to her, he gripped her shoulders and she looked up at him.
"It's not your fault. You were thrown into a situation beyond your control and you were the only one strong enough to break away from it. The fact that the rest of those people were too stupid not to do the same before you came along is not your fault." Wolf snarled in disgust at what her own people had done to her. He definitely knew a thing or two about having to suffer at the hands of men just following orders. And he saw so much of himself in the lupine before him it was actually a bit frightening.
"What did you do after that?" He questioned letting his arms fall to his sides.
"Well," she began wiping her eyes. "I knew I wanted to go somewhere far away, and do something that was safe… there was a hub of new technology opening up in the Lylat system, they were trying to terraform Corneria at the time. Of course all new technology had enemies, so I turned to bounty hunting; it seemed like something simple, something safe. I could move around from place to place without suspicion and I would be doing a public service so the government would stay off of my ass." She shrugged.
"I never stayed in the same general area long, and I had to pick out a last name, I chose Shade… it seemed appropriate. At first I used my shadow lace to haul people in, but as the years went on I could hear the headmaster's voice applauding me, so I stopped using it all together. Years went on, and eventually because of how I moved over all the years, and my old tech, and my powers rumors grew out of proportion. Then one day they started calling me the Radical Billie Shade… and not so many years ago I was bombing around Corneria. Looking at the metropolis that had sprung up, and I walked along the empty jungle path for some fresh air. I've always loved plants… and I came across a fallen tree, I looked down at a trail of destruction like someone had crash landed. So I went to see if they were okay and…" she trailed off backing away from Wolf a bit.
"A very young man came out wearing some cheap sun glasses; he asked if I could give him a hand… His name was James McCloud…"
Wolf made no reaction; he knew this part had been coming.
17. Chapter 17
CHAPTER 17
The young James McCloud looked up the path of destruction he had left in his wake; and saw a tall white wolf looking down at him. Glad someone had been coming by that way he gave a big wave and introduced himself.
"Hey up there! Think you can give me a hand?" he laughed at himself for his stupidity which had led to his crash landing. "I had kind of an accident…" he trailed off and gestured towards the Arwing.
The wolf made her way down the dirt indent; "What did you do? Run out of fuel?"
"Well…" he scratched the back of his head nervously.
"Wow really? I just said the stupidest thing I could think of!" she laughed.
"Yea, I actually took this from the academy… without asking so…"
"Oh I see, in your zeal you forgot to top off the tank?"
"Basically." He shrugged. "The names James, James McCloud. And you are?" he held out a hand.
"Uhhh… Billie." She said taking it hesitantly. Then she walked up to the Arwing, he had done a perfect emergency landing; it was totally undamaged. "Meh this thing is still a piece of shit though…" she mumbled looking it over.
"Nah, that's just because they give the students bone stock to use. This thing could really shine with some guns and maybe better gravity thrusters." He said without missing a beat.
"Yeah, about that. Why did you have to take it without asking hmm?" she said with a twitchy tail.
"I don't know… kicks." He said stroking his chin. "I'm in the academy so I can become a pilot for the Cornerian military. And I just couldn't wait to practice for my first flight exam." He shrugged.
"Well aren't we eager! So how much trouble are you going to get in for this?" she asked him giggling at his gung ho attitude.
"I'm hoping none, if I can get this thing back to school before the exam starts."
Billie thought for a moment… "Okay I'll tell you what teacher's pet; you give me all the money you got on yah and I'll throw you a bone." She said shrewdly.
"Aww, are you taking advantage of me because I'm in a tight spot?" he laughed.
"Yep."
"Okay how about this, you go get me some fuel in your ship… which I'm assuming is close by for you to be out here like this. And then I'll race you. If you win, I'll pay you for the fuel; but if I win you get nothing."
"Hmmm…" Billie looked at the student. She had hauled in tons of criminals, with much more experience than this little shrimp. She saw no harm in indulging him a bit. "Deal." They shook on it. "Just wait here…" she said pointing to the ground.
Billie made off for the city and bought a tank of ship fuel, pushed it into her cargo hold and made off for the location of the fox, upon arriving back they fueled up the bone stock Arwing and he revved it up.
"Nice ship… I've seen none other like it."
"Thanks, she's my baby…" Billie said proudly as they sat in their open cockpits. "Now where are we going for this race?"
"You know where the flight academy is?" he asked
"First one to the finish then?" she concluded; then they closed themselves in their ship. And without another word they both shot off like bullets into the blue.
"Wait, wait," Wolf interrupted. "he crash landed after stealing an Arwing from the flight academy and that is how you met him?"
"Yeah. Most people only know James by reputation… but in his younger days he was really quite a goofball. And he was always very laid back, I remember that about his personality." Billie said giggling just a little bit remembering how he had suckered her.
"Well, keep going!" Panther said wanting to hear the rest.
"Uhh, let's see we took off… and at first I was ahead… but damn he was persistent in that rust bucket."
As they sped through the sky over Corneria the city came into view, Billie had been leading in the straight away, but she was shocked when they zipped by their first sky scraper. A rolling white flash cut her directly off.
"What in damnation?!" She said pulling back up to avoid crashing.
"I forgot to mention… I have been practicing, a lot!" he said zooming away over the city.
With a slight snicker; Billie pulled back into the flight path and the two went on and on through a neck and neck race, only breaking away from the sides of each other to narrowly avoid crashing into the buildings.
"Sorry, Billie was it? But I'm gonna win here." He said as if he had just plucked the answer in the spur of the moment. He let out his thrusters and pulled directly in front of her, so she could not bypass him. Then with one final breath his engine heaved into its top speed and he passed over the school, leaving Billie in the dust. She landed her ship next to his in among the others in the students ship lot as a variety of students gathered around cheering for the victory they had just witnessed from their classes.
"Nice try!" he said jumping down. Billie still in shock having lost to a newbie simply looked down at him from her opening cockpit.
"Ugh I can't believe I lost to you…" she said looking down at all of his friends crowding around him.
"Why do you sound so down in the dumps? That was fun!" he yelled up to her with a wide grin.
"Yeah, I guess it was…" she said, realizing during the entire race she hadn't had one negative or depressing thought that usually clung to her mind like glue.
"JAMES MCCLOUD!" came a shrill voice from what Billie could see was a professor.
"Did you take that Arwing out without asking again?"
"Again?!" Billie laughed.
James was silent as the other students withdrew from his little cheering section. She knew the look he had on his face even with those shades on; he was waiting to be scolded.
"Well son, that was some of the best damn flight technique I've ever seen." The rabbit said in her tight black dress.
"What?" James and Billie said in sheer shock at the same time.
"Yes, I look forward to giving you your test tomorrow." The academic said.
"Tomorrow?" he asked. "What about today?"
"Oh you are going to detention today, what did you think your pretty flying skills would make me forget the fact you 'borrowed' school property?"
"I was hoping…" he grumbled.
Billie leaned her head back and let out a huge "HA!"
* * *
"James always was too impatient for his own good…" Billie spoke out to team Star Wolf. "He always had to get everything done, right when he wanted to get it done. That drive is what made him so successful, and it's also what led to his death…" she sighed out.
"So, when did you two have your falling out?" Wolf asked, trying to fit the pieces together.
"Well, after that little stunt; I began showing him everything I knew about ships, and tech. Everything he thought he would need to know, and me realizing how much I still did not know about piloting asked if he could give me lessons. Over the next few years, he graduated and became a decorated member of the Cornerian military. And the two of us became pretty close friends; he always wanted to introduce me to his other friends and his girlfriend Vixy but I always preferred a certain amount of anonymity… I'm sure by this point in the story you understand why."
Wolf felt himself let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding when she said James had a girlfriend.
"So he would stop by and see me in my little base out in the woods whenever he had the chance. We became thick as thieves, he even helped me get information on several high priced bounties the government wanted; I always had a policy about never working directly through government officials; but James was different. He was always someone I knew I could trust. And he was always a far better pilot; I learned piloting basics from Devin sure, but I became a true master working with James on it over that next set of golden years." Billie smiled at the memory of her care free friend.
"You know, I don't think I ever saw him without those cheap sunglasses on…" she realized. Then let out a boisterous laugh. She looked over to Wolf, who was still waiting to hear what he was looking for. "Oh, he taught me how to always have fun with it... how to soak in every little moment and smile." She trailed on like an old person in nostalgia: which is exactly what she was.
"And then one day, he just dropped out of the military… he was getting married apparently. He wanted me to go and I said no… that was the first nail in the coffin. And after that he said he had met a kid who showed a lot of potential for a certain line of work, was gonna take him under his wing… that didn't work out I don't think."
That was what Wolf had been wanting to hear… he looked down, not meeting Billie's gaze; thinking about how close he had come to meeting her back then… back when he was a young man with two working eyes. But she continued on not noticing.
"And one day he came to me very exited… he said he needed more steady work, but would not tell me why. All he said was that he was going to start a rag-tag team of mercenaries and see how far he could take it..."
"Star Fox…" Wolf said in deep thought.
"Yeah... although now i realize, the time correlates with the time when Vixy must have been pregnant..." she said in regret.
"Yes, but I did not know that was what he called the team; you see when he came to me asking me to be the mechanic and general technician… well it just spurred up old thoughts of Devin and… I just…"
"Said no…" Wolf finished what she could not. Billie just nodded.
"He came back several times asking me to re-consider. But my thoughts were just so erratic; I had been staying in one place too long and… I just didn't want to get more attached to James then I already was, and then have to watch him, and the other members of his team grow old… and die. And one time; the last time he ever asked me, I started up an argument over it… it got a bit heated, and words were exchanged…" Billie cringed remembering the way she had yelled at him… yelled at her best friend instead of offering him the truth. "He left…" she finally said, it physically hurt to think back on that now.
She sighed long and hard… "And then I left the base on Corneria… did he ever come back looking for me I don't know… but I never saw him again. You know I always had this crazy thought that one day he would run into me, and he would finally be able to talk me into it. But then a few months passed… then a few years."
Billie hung her head low ashamed of her cowardice hesitation to join her friend's team. "And one day, in a nice little bar in the Smuggler's Rock… I heard on the news; 'James McCloud proclaimed dead by Cornerian officials.' I wanted to throw up… that's how disgusted I was with myself."
They all shifted nervously not knowing what to say, Wolf half-stood and half-leaned on the corner of his desk and crossed his arms in silence.
"Every day since then, I've wondered… if I had said yes… if I had joined his team, would I have been able to… to do something…" She desperately tried to pull up any word that she could, but everything was gone from her head. She gritted her teeth and put a fist to her forehead. She sniffled in as tears stung at her eyes and dropped down in large round drops to the floor.
"It's all my fault… if I had said yes I could have been there to protect him. Oh God Fox I'm so sorry!" she yelled. "I was afraid to watch him die, so it led to his death!" she covered her face with her hands and sobbed out into the room.
Wolf wanted desperately to go and comfort her in any way he could, but how much he had hated James, how he hadn't acted to save him when he could have… and how he hated his son simply for being the son of James. He had no right, he had no right to run to her rescue… it was not Billie's fault; it was his. And if he told her, he had no idea how she would react. He felt as though she was already drifting away into the darkness out of his reach; out of his life. And he did not want her to vanish from his life like she had from the lives of so many others; he did not want to be another tragedy on her long list. When he finally looked up he saw Panther with his arm over her shoulder, he was saying nothing but he shot a look to Wolf. A look Wolf could not place.
* * *
Meanwhile; Krystal and Fox had been walking down a city street together taking a little breather. Krystal stopped dead in her tracks.
"Hey what's wrong?" Fox said turning around.
She did not answer, for she could not hear him; she heard the sound of sobbing and felt a stab in her heart, a familiar stab like she had felt that day they had met Billie.
"You okay?" he said walking into her direct line of sight.
With the feelings that were not her own now fading, she gave a slight nod and Fox nodded back taking her hand they continued down the street.
* * *
"Wolf, that is why… several years after that when I met you in that bar; that is why I wished to die…" she trailed off to a whisper.
Wolf, still not knowing how to express himself through any other way than rage clenched his fists…
"Oh stop it Billie! This is pathetic!" he yelled standing straight up. Billie looked up in surprise, not because he was yelling; the words he chose were the same ones she had dreamt of. "For crying out loud pull yourself together, your one of the strongest people I know stop acting like a damn, fucking martyr!"
Panther and Leon began to back away a bit, having never seen him with a righteous anger.
"Now you listen to me, and hear me well because I will not be repeating it!" he spat taking up space directly in front of her.
"Now while I can clearly see, you had to put up with a lot of shit due to the selfishness of others; constantly blaming yourself and dragging all of it along with you is exactly what is holding you down! All the voices you hear in your head; all of this blaming yourself for things that were beyond your control... IT'S CRAP. And it's a waste of your time." His voice softened a bit at the end.
"Whether or not you had joined Star Fox; James would have died. That's just the way it is."
"How do you know that?" she shot back at him angrily.
"Because; I was there." He said in a stern low voice.
"What?" she said feeling her pulse rise.
"I was there damnit! I told you I used to work for the Venom army… And let me tell you there is nothing you could have done…"
Billie rose up her hand to slap him, but she just held it there. And a group of fresh tears blurred her vision.
"Let it go." Wolf softly said, waiting to be slapped at any moment. "You can't carry it around forever, you are just destroying yourself. This is a subject I know a lot about…"
Billie felt her rage fade, and her ears drooped down in sadness; and then she just let her hand fall to her side. Leon made a disappointed face; Panther grabbed him by the shoulder and quietly pulled him out of the room.
After the door closed leaving the two lupines alone in the room, Billie put her hands over her eyes and started to sob like a 97 year old baby. Wolf felt like a jackass… but it needed to be done. So he did the only thing he could think of, and pulled her into a tight embrace, hoping she wouldn't push him away…
She didn't.
18. Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
And once again, as always when they were alone; they no longer kept track of the time, for they did not care. Billie cried out her last into the sanctuary of Wolf's chest but when her sobbing finally ceased she did not move from that place: for it was too inviting, too familiar.
"Wolf?" she said in a small voice that was muffled by his chest.
"What?" he said putting a hand on the back of her head.
"I had a dream, I was running from the headmaster; running from everything she had put me through. And running away from my identity as the last of my people, and then you appeared… And you gave me some good advice."
"What was it, exactly?" he said looking down at the top of her head.
"You told me to pick myself up, because there was work to be done; you said my crying was pathetic… And you were right; I can't keep trying to flee from what I am… I have to embrace it."
"And what are you?" Wolf smirked down at her. She raised her head from the wet spot her tears had left on his vest to look up at him.
"I'm in love with the man who was involved in my best friend's death." She said coldly. Then she broke out of his embrace and backed away from him slowly. Wolf walked towards her as she stepped back…
"Billie… please." He said as she hit the glass of the window. He knew that look in her eyes… he was the enemy now. He heaved out a long sigh. She had bore herself out to him, even though it was uncomfortable: and now he had to do the same. He would do something he had never done before, if it meant keeping her by his side. He would lay himself bare; tell her what she needed to hear.
"I'm sure that you are aware that this is an electronic eye patch… designed to enhance the sight of a damaged eye." he said pointing to it. "But did you ever wonder how I lost the sight in it?" her eyes grew wide as he put his hand up to it and slowly removed it from his head.
And for the first time she saw the entirety of the horrendous scar that ran over his face. Then he opened his eyes, and she looked at the orange iris… it looked unnatural the pupil looked like it was broken and bleeding into the iris. For lack of better phrasing the entire eye just looked impacted.
"You and I are more alike than you realize…" he said with both eyes fixed on her. She just stared silently looking back and forth between both of his eyes.
"Like you… I lost my parents at a young age. And like you I had to run from place to place… never belonging anywhere. And like you; James McCloud decided to take me under his wing." He said barring himself; making himself vulnerable for the first time in front of someone. Billie slowly reached her hand up, and traced her fingers over his scar. It was deeper than it looked, and smooth, like a clean cut. He closed his eyes and took in the sweet sensation of her touch; then continued.
"And like you, we had a bad falling out… It was James who took my eye away from me."
"What happened?" she asked in a concerned voice; that made him a little happier.
"He found out what I had been using his teachings for… since my parents died I had always relied on thievery to get by and, I saw no reason to change pace even out of the flight academy. And when he found out I had been applying his lessons to the black markets… he let me have it: he screamed at me to get out of his sight, that I was no longer welcome as his student or near his mercenary team. I was so angry at him… I just attacked him; I didn't think it through very well I was just a stupid kid. He took out his blaster and let me have it… it hit me square in the eye, and residue from the shot ran up and down my face leaving plasma burns. I got out of there… but now all I can see without this e-patch are big blurry blobs." He said looking at the general shape of the white mass before him through it.
"I went on with my criminal acts… hating him, I just let it fester within me. Then I joined the Venom army… and I saw James again in Andross's clutches; I could have helped him… but I was still so angry I let him die." He said it slowly, keeping his eyes closed; not wanting to meet her gaze. Afraid her eyes would be filled with scorn.
"But even after that I still felt angry at him; angry at Star Fox. So I formed Star Wolf to take down James's legacy in this world. When Andross offered my team the job of taking Star Fox out; I eagerly volunteered… I failed. And that made me angrier… After the Venom wars I left the army and put this place together for those who chose to follow me in leaving, and here I am…" he trailed off letting her absorb his words.
Billie looked as though she could cry again. Wolf expected her to slap him, to yell at him, to march out of the room maybe even leave Star Wolf. But she just stood there, silently.
"I'm sorry Billie." He said finally opening his eyes to try and gauge her reaction.
"To be perfectly honest Wolf… I want to be angry at you; but I don't know if I can be." She was looking down from the side of her eyes. "You didn't know me then, and being a criminal was all you ever knew… This sucks…" she concluded flatly.
Then she looked up at him and put both of her hands on his face. "But you need to let go of your anger towards Fox. Just like I need to let go of my past."
He made a low growling noise… then nodded. He hated this feeling, he was like putty in her hands; but as long as they were alone he guessed there was no real harm in it.
"Leon is never gonna let me live down having a soft spot…" he gruffed under his breath. Billie let out a small laugh; Wolf liked that noise, among many pleasant noises that came from those lips… singing sadly not being among them.
"So then, what now?" she asked not knowing if they still had anything to gain from being on the same team.
"Stay Billie, I want you to stay…" he said meaning everything; he wanted her to stay with him, he wanted her to stay on Star Wolf; he didn't even want her to leave this room. Billie just looked down, thinking if she should… Wolf put both of his large hands on the sides of her head, and made her look at him.
"I want **you** Billie… so much I can barley breathe." He said it in a weak whisper, meaning every word; and everything they implied. He closed his eyes and nuzzled her face with his muzzle, waiting for any kind of response, anything at all that signaled she wanted him too and he got it: she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her level with a deep kiss.
Wolf responded, opening his mouth and letting their tongues explore each other; she was sweet like honey, and usually he hated sweets… but this was just pleasure in its most primal. His hands wandered their way from her face down to the natural curve of her center. Everywhere she touched him sent off an intense pulse of heat, in fact his whole body felt very warm. He opened his eyes to see her and himself shrouded with a warm cloud of shadow lace. He separated his mouth from hers.
"Billie what…?"
"I told you; it's tethered to my emotional current. That's why it is so warm and pleasant…" she said feeling a hot blush clouding her cheeks.
Wolf smirked showing off some keen canines, and his tail waged slowly through the air behind him; then put his hands on the back of her thighs and lifted her up. She responded by wrapping her legs around his waist, and he carried her over to his desk and laid her down flat on it. He looked down at her through the clouds of shadow lace that were filling the room and bent down to kiss her; she cleverly moved her fingers up and down his armor shouldered vest and opened it up. A golden pendant with a blue gemstone in the middle that danced in the dull starlight hung down across his chest as he arched back up and whipped his vest off.
He shuddered at the wave of heat that raced through his body from where she placed her hands on his abdomen; she was sliding them under his black shirt, letting her fingers take in the feeling of every inch of his muscles. He pulled his shirt up over his head, and then threw it behind him, as he bent back down to her she ran her fingers down his arms and tugged at his gloves. He helped her by pulling his hands one way while she pulled his fingerless gloves the other; but he took little notice as he was far too preoccupied with kissing her neck and he was moving slowly south. Once his hands were free of the gloves he put them to work sliding her shirt up, and introducing his lips to her firm beautiful stomach.
Every time his lips met with her body little ripples of heat screamed through her frame; her mind began to feel fuzzy with the shadow lace crowding around her. She couldn't control it, and she definitely couldn't control the marvelous tingling heat that was settling itself nicely between her legs. She tried to slow her breathing as she pulled off her shirt; Wolf eagerly responded to that by sinking his fangs into her little red bra and ripping it straight off of her.
"Hey!" she protested but she was only met with a deep growling noise from him; then he clasped her bare breasts in hands and started to fondle and lick everywhere. Her mind began to fall away; she slipped in and out of the fuzzy warm shadow lace, and then would be brought back in by physical pleasure. Wolf was faring no better, he worked his hands down to her pants and quickly pulled them down, and he had to separate his hot body from hers for one agonizing moment to get them completely off of her. Then immediately slammed himself back down on top of her. He kissed her and clasped chunks of her flesh in his palms but as his body grew hotter his mind grew fuzzier; like some sort of wonderful fever.
And all of the heat from this fever slowly streamed down to his lengthy organ; he propped himself up over her like he was doing a one handed push up using his other hand to work on his belt buckle.
"Bloody hell." He swore in aggravation, but her hands joined his down there and she aided him with the belt and zipper: his pants dropped just enough for his length to bob out in an agonizing throb. With both of their minds fading in and out of the clouds of shadow lace surrounding them, they were not mentally aware of anything happening in real time. Wolf felt her warm body take his organ in; and he felt her under him, but then she was on top of him. His vision blurred in and out; he could perceive heavy moaning here and there. He felt the sensation of her loose hair surrounding him; he could breathe in her scent. But neither one of them were all there.
The liquid smoke that was crowding around them was simply the physical manifestation of her feelings. And it cradled them both in a wonderful way. Billie could hear him breathing hard, little moans and growls. Could feel his large hands in one place, then another; feel him stirring around inside of her. Then she rolled her eyes back as she laid under him, now on something soft… the couch perhaps? Had they moved? She could not tell. But she felt his body shaking over her: he let out something between a long moan and a howl, she felt something hot filling her, and even leaking out of her. And smelled their sweat mixing in the hot dark as his weight moved in an erratic way on top of her.
For an unknown amount of time, they continued; they would see the other only in flashes, but still feel their presence. All of the years between them holding back so much feeling, the release of it had been an intense one. By the end of it neither had the energy left to move, but she could feel his muscular body under her and he could feel her delicate body on top of his: so why move? They were both exactly where they wanted to be when sleep came for them.
19. Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
Billie fluttered her eyes awake several hours later; putting her right hand up to her face whipping the sleep out of her eyes. All she remembered in this moment was a weird dream of warm darkness wisping around her like smoke. She groggily picked her head up and looked down at her naked body.
"What..?" she mumbled in the dim star light; and then she looked out to the floor and saw clothes, her clothes and Wolfs all over the room. Then her head cleared of the dark dream, and her memories came back to her. Sitting up she looked down at the lupine she had made into her bed and giggled; the poor man was so tall even though his feet were hanging off of one end, his head was dangling from the other. Billie had been curled up in a ball on his torso, and as she went to get up she felt an achy pain on both of her inner thighs. Standing fully up feeling like her insides had been churned like butter she realized that was not far from the truth.
The owner of the blunt object responsible groaned himself awake when her warmth had left his naked body in the cool open air. Wolf opened his eyes and swore under his breath at the kink in his neck. He looked over at a blurry white object walking away from him; then he shut his bad eye and let vision come in full to his good one.
"How long were we in here?" Billie asked seeing him sit up and stretch out his arms.
"I'm not sure, feels like a long time though." He said trying to roll the kink out of his neck.
"Ugh! You ruined my favorite bra!" Billie said picking up the lace affair and holding it up; it had been shredded down the middle by Wolf's teeth.
Wolf looked at her hair, wildly hanging everywhere no longer in the neat braid he was used to, and he just laughed at the sight of her like this holding up a shredded bra.
"Oh, so he does have a sense of humor…" she said chucking it at him. He caught it before it hit him in the face and he heard her say: "Why don't you keep it as a souvenir?" she said as she looked around for her underwear.
"Oh don't think I won't." he said getting up quickly, his eye scanned around for his e-patch, and he saw it on the floor near the window. He replaced it back over his damaged eye and checked the time.
"Five hours." He said looking over to Billie who was pulling her pants up.
"What since the four of us came in here?" the topless lupine asked throwing his pants at him.
"No since they walked out… remember you were going to slap me?" He said walking up close to her and grabbing his boxers.
"Oh like you weren't begging for it…" she griped back to him taking out Devin's old comb and getting the rats nests out of her black locks.
As he got his belt buckled and pulled his gloves back over his claws he saw her fingers quickly finishing up her braid, he reached down to get his shirt from where he had tossed it near the door and they both pulled their shirts on at the same time.
"That's beautiful." She said as he pulled his golden pendant out of his shirt. She walked over to him and palmed it in her left hand, admiring the clear blue gemstone in the center,
"My mom had good taste I take it?" He said down to her as he slid his vest on.
"That was..?"
"The only thing I have left of her." He said knowing what she was going to ask.
Billie looked sad… but also felt just a little happy; the two of them really were a lot alike. 'My first lover…' she thought… she had to know.
"How did your parents die?" she boldly asked him.
He let out a sigh and walked over to his boots and began strapping them on. "I don't want to talk about that now…" he grumbled.
"I told you everything about me. Why can't you do the same?"
"You can ask me about anything you like Billie." He said in a tone he would only ever use when speaking to her, but then it got steely. "But not about that."
"But-"
"Not about that!" he almost yelled it. Billie's bent her ears back… taking it as a challenge.
"At least for the moment…" she said in her competitive voice.
He smirked over to her and took a whiff of her bra; just to annoy her. It worked Billie became flustered and started tripping over her own words.
"You know.. I-I still have to repair, uhm… the Wolfens and… stuff. Soooo, what do we tell Panther and Leon?" she finally got out.
"We don't have to tell them a damn thing." He said stuffing his trophy into his pocket. "What we choose to do alone is our own damn business." He sounded like the Wolf everyone knew him as when he said that.
"Okay…" Billie sighed. "But you think they are gonna put two and two together? I mean we were in here for five hours…"
"Let them." He walked over to her and gave her a big, sloppy kiss on the mouth and squeezed her ass. Then just as quickly as he had done it, he walked out of the office.
"You coming?" he said to a now fuzzy headed hot Billie.
"Y-yeah…" she jogged up to his side; Wolf knew exactly how to touch her to set her off, and she was sort of loving/hating it.
* * *
"Well, the triumphant return!" Panther jeered at them while they walked onto the flight deck together.
"Good, you two lunk-heads are here…" Wolf said digging around for an e-cig.
"Yuck…" Leon mumbled to himself; both him and Panther knowing full well the act they had just committed in that office. Billie was a little ashamed that they knew, but Wolf just shook it off.
"I need everyone's attention for this." Wolf said in the stern voice that his team had learned to acknowledge knowing the fun time was over. Even if they did pal around, the three still had the upmost respect for their leader and gathered around him giving them his full attention. Wolf let out a ribbon of smoke and began to inform them of the plans he had been letting bounce around his brain.
"Our very own mechanic let us in on a fantastic little secret earlier." He started.
Billie's ears twitched up as if to ask 'What secret?'
"You said something about your own recipe for concentrated dark matter… using your shadow… whatever." He said looking up at her ship.
"Yes… why? I don't know if I can upgrade your Wolfens… it would take more time and money than it's worth…"
"No, no not the ships… Could you run an entire base on it?"
Billie raised an eyebrow to him, as all three of them looked over to her waiting on her answer. "It's certainly a possibility…" she said.
"You want to convert the Sargasso Zone?" Leon asked Wolf looking around at the place.
"No actually, I'm thinking we've outgrown this place… more or less. I was thinking, Fichina."
"What's on Fichina?" Billie said skeptically.
"Friggin' cold! That's what." Leon said not liking the idea as a cold blooded creature.
"Well, yes actually." Wolf said to him. "Fox already knows this place is here… it's only a matter of time until someone passes on the buck. No one, even if they knew we had a base there; would look for us on Fichina. Even after that little scam we pulled to get my bounty…"
"It **was** made relatively livable by those generators…" Panther said thinking about the idea seriously.
"And it's close to the Smuggler's Rock: a steady source of supplies that are not regulated by the government." Billie added thinking on it now.
"What about here Wolf?" Leon argued thinking he had a case.
"This is still **my** turf. But in this way we can expand ourselves farther, and have a base safe from the authorities."
"It's… so cold there." Leon said defeated.
"Wear a jacket." Wolf said, Billie snickered a bit at his emerging sense of humor.
"If you find a place, I can rig something up." Billie assured her boss.
"It would be best if we were somewhere within reach of the city; but still far enough away to discourage searching for us… somewhere we could come and go without too much notice." Panther said sitting down on a crate of wires, and things to think.
"Look this is all irrelevant until the ships are repaired." Leon said hoping this would prolong their trip.
"I'm aware…" Wolf grumbled "Billie, we just need to make one ship relatively useable; then send someone off to the Smuggler's Rock for supplies."
"That will take a day or two…" she drifted off surveying the damage. Leon sighed in relief.
"What if we all helped you?" Wolf said.
"Just one day then." She smiled up at her baby.
"Good, Leon will be your personal assistant." Wolf said looking at him. "And we don't leave until all of the ships can at least fly."
"Panther do we have any replacement glass?" Billie said rolling her braid up into a bun; getting ready for some serious work.
* * *
They worked on into the late hours; Billie working her magic repairing the metals, Leon and Panther placing the glass in and sealing it correctly, Panther looked on at them from behind and saw the tattered red lace hanging from Wolf's pocket.
'Well, at least they finally got rid of the sexual tension.' He thought; it had been causing some meshing problems with the team.
But now; Wolf worked closely with Billie although he knew his Wolfen inside and out as well as having a reasonable bit of knowhow on electronics; he didn't see the harm in learning a thing or two from her. After Billie's ship was in prime condition, Panther and Leon decided to call it a night.
"I'm going to sleep before that one throws a wrench at me…" Leon mumbled to his feline comrade.
"Yes, besides I'm sure they are dying to be alone." Panther chuckled.
"Told you they would have something to say…" Billie mumbled to Wolf. The two of them were working on Wolf's other gun that never did get upgraded. Billie's ship was already good to go; with brand new glass. But now they had to get Wolf's into prime condition.
"Who gives a rat's furry ass?" Wolf grumbled as he held up the weight of his turret, and she bolted it back into place.
"Well, your Wolfen should at least be run-able now. But in order to get it, and those other two back into prime condition we are going to need more supplies." She said looking around at the empty crates they had exhausted of their spare parts.
"That is for tomorrow…" he said worn out, sitting down on one. Wolf hated the heat; yet another reason he intended to set up base on Fichina. He had removed his vest when they began working: and now his undershirt was covered in sweat. He removed it and wiped his brow.
Billie was sweaty and greasy too. "Bleh, I need a shower in the worst way…" she said tossing a monkey wrench to the floor with a clang.
"We could take a shower…" Wolf smirked up at her as she walked towards him.
Her tail began to wag very quickly. "Sure, what the hell?" she said calmly. But her tail gave her away.
Wolf stood up and they made a jog for the showers. No one asked why the showers were filled with shadow lace until Billie and Wolf finally came out and it cleared… And no one seemed to notice Billie moving all of her belongings into Wolf's room that night either. Primarily because in the Sargasso Space Zone; Wolf O'Donnell's word was the law, so everyone stayed off of his shit list if they could help it.
* * *
The morning came, and once again every Star Wolf member crowded the flight deck; all in fresh garb ready for the next task.
"Okay so, me and Billie are making our way over to the Smuggler's Rock now." Wolf said getting into his cockpit. Billie was sipping coffee in hers, getting her red lens on and ready to go. "And you two are going to wait here for us; however also be ready to receive messages from us."
"Why?" Panther asked lazily. "Our ships aren't working what could we possibly do?"
"Well, if something goes wrong you have authority here while I'm gone so you can send everyone here to our rescue if need be." Wolf said revving up his engines.
"Yes sir." Both Leon and Panther said.
Billie closed her cockpit and followed Wolf's lead out of the space zone.
"You think something will go wrong?" Leon asked watching them go.
"Panther is sure they will fare well so long as they are together." He said sipping some coffee.
* * *
"SOOOO WOLF." Billie boldly opened up a chat. "You told them to wait for a message… and you sounded like you expected something to go wrong. Why?"
"Billie don't pretend to be stupid; it doesn't suit you. We both now have bounties on our heads I'm sure…"
"Yeah, that's even if the Cornerian government knows we survived that little Aparoid dilemma…" Billie cut in.
"They know." Wolf said without hesitation. "And they also know Billie Shade hung up her bounty hunting shoes."
"Yeah but, I saw on the news last night while I was doing our laundry… Corneria is in bad shape after those Aparoids swept through it… I mean you saw the city while we were there; it's really bad still, almost unlivable. They moved all government offices to the Beltino Orbital Gate until they can fix it."
"So?" Wolf asked as they spun into one of their double helix flight patterns.
"Well the Cornerian army was hardly your ehh… military elite to start with." She said trying to word it accurately. "And with the aftermath of the Aparoid disaster they are stretched very thin..."
"True." Wolf nodded.
"And at this very moment… we are headed towards an icy black market fortress, which the Lylat government is completely unaware of."
"Yup."
"And you think something will go wrong?" she finally reached the center of the shrubbery maze.
"Probably." He concluded.
"Uuuuuukay! Just makin' sure…" she said shaking her head. "But if I may say so… I think you are being just a little paranoid."
"You may… and if I may give you some advice; healthy paranoia is one of the tricks of our trade," he said as they crossed the Fichina line and the great ice patch came into view.
"I suppose…" She said shrugging it off.
They almost looked like they were dancing through the great drifting ice shards; every movement of each pilot was perfectly timed. And they stayed in close enough proximity to one another to make it a legitimate dance. And after finally emerging from the old familiar tunnel, they found their way back to the ship lot they had used together once before. This time they managed to park right alongside one another. Billie no longer hid her face in this bustling ice city of low lives; because she could count herself among their numbers now.
"You know, I never really stopped to look before, but this place is actually really cool. No pun intended." She giggled looking up at the great ice sphere they were in. you could see the light coming through the other side of the small planet through the icy walls.
"I've never even taken the damn time to explore the whole thing…" she mumbled as they walked into the city streets.
Wolf was silent as they went to some dealers to establish themselves, Star Wolf was coming back with a vengeance; and they wanted as many supporters and clients as possible.
"Yes, just make sure it all gets to the Sargasso zone." Wolf said signing off on some large crates of crap that they were going to need, not only for Panther and Leon's ships; but some things for Billie to start throwing together for the not yet existent Fichina base.
"Now that we have our foot in the door in this place… we should get some job flow from it. And once we establish a good name for Star Wolf here we'll even get discounts." Wolf said pleased with himself as they made their way through the cold metal streets.
"Yeah but… I thought you wanted to get out of the criminal game?" Billie asked with visible breath.
"I do… but in order to get out; we have to get in first."
"Wha..?" Billie asked raising an eyebrow.
"We are going to need good money flow before we can start getting honest work, we need a base on a planet… that is why you are going to be putting things together for it piece by piece in Sargasso."
"Makes sense." Billie said as their boots crunched in the slush on the streets. "Hey wait a second!" She stopped and Wolf turned around to look at her behind him.
"We need to get back…" Wolf said.
"THIS IS THE BAR." She gasped. "This is the bar I always used to come to; where I heard about James…" she trailed off as Wolf looked up at the run down building.
"Oh come one Wolf! Just one drink?" she said clapping her hands together and making big black puppy dog eyes.
"We are a bit crunched for time…" he said trying to resist her.
"PWEAZE?" she said sadly bending her ears back.
Wolf felt heat rush to his face… but he couldn't tell if it was from the cold, aggravation or from how cute she looked; his large white eyebrow began to twitch in aggravation.
"It will be like a date!" she said grabbing his arm.
"Ugh…" he bent his head back as she pulled him along and his breath shot up like smoke. "Fine." He let out once they were already inside. She sat on a bar stool and tapped the one next to her for him to sit. As he took a seat an old white vulpine gave them a look.
"One Lylat twist with extra joogee fruit!" Billie said like she had ordered it a million times.
"Shot of bourbon, a glass of bourbon and a bourbon chaser." Wolf said in a gruff tone.
Billie laughed at that and looked up at the television; Wolf looked up with her and saw on the news she had not been kidding about Corneria, it was a friggin' ruin now. When the bar tender brought their drinks Wolf looked at her happy face as she gulped down what looked like vodka with some kind of fruit peel twisted down the middle.
He just took his shot, and then downed the glass of the same liquid as the shot. Then finally the other glass of bourbon 'chaser'. He did not get drunk easily; this would barley get him tipsy... but he had always liked the taste of decided maybe he had been being a little paranoid and let himself just enjoy Billie's company while they were still alone here. And Billie thought she would ask while he had some booze in him; not expecting results just gauging whether or not he was an agreeable drunk.
"So Wolf, about that necklace..."
Wolf let out a long sigh. "I'll tell yah Billie, just not today…" He said not wanting to ruin his good mood by lingering on the subject.
Billie felt a bit deflated… and out of nowhere this place started to make her think of James, and not the good memories.
"Wolf I'll meet you back at Sargasso okay?" she said getting up.
"Billie…" he argued. Then he pulled out some credits to pay the bar tender,
But she was already headed for port.
"Hey beautiful…" she heard a voice from behind. She smiled and turned expecting to see Wolf there. But much to her horror:
"You think I wouldn't recognize your ship in a place of inferior models like this Billie?" Taylor said to her from behind some dark sunglasses.
"No…" Billie said, not in answer to his question; but in sheer shock he was still alive. "I thought you were dead." She said coldly.
"When will you learn you can't get the drop on me?" He said holding up a new sleek jet black metal arm. He pointed the hand of it at her, and the fingers folded backward as the palm opened up into a gun barrel.
"I get the drop on you dear… Now tell me, where is that hair pile who took my arm and my love from me?"
* * *
**SEQUEL**** OUT NOW, SEE: Wolf's Keeper. HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE ADVENTURE. Please review.**
End file.
| fanfiction |
Affordable, Top-Rated Pest Control Services with Guaranteed Results.
When you need to get rid of bugs, you need an affordable, dependable, and top-rated pest control company - you can count on Exceed Pest Defense!
Our exterminators provide affordable, top-rated pest control and insect control / extermination services with guaranteed results for commercial, industrial and residential customers in Las Vegas and throughout Clark County, Nevada.
When it comes to controlling, exterminating or removing bugs and pests, we pride ourselves on eliminating your problem with competitive pricing, and dependable, on-time service while always maintaining safety for all including children, pets and plants!
Being on-time, providing good customer service and striving to maintain the positive reputation we've built is just as important as getting rid of pests! Our commercial, industrial and residential customers throughout the Clark County area are important to us, and we have earned a solid reputation exceeding customer expectations!
When you need to get rid of bugs, you need an affordable pest control company that's dependable, on-time and top-rated – that's where Exceed Pest Defense comes in!
We are new to Henderson NV, this company goes above and beyond! Had a question about our service and at 8:45pm and someone text us. Their service has been above and beyond for that year 10 moths they have serviced us! I wouldn't even consider another company!!
Overall great experience! Heidi in front office was very accommodating with setting up an appt for me. Alex was on time and quick with spraying my entire house!
The gentleman that did the work was very informative about pigeons I️ think he even cleaned up more Than he was supposed to He was extremely polite!
Hired this company to do our pest control and they have been so great . Set up an appointment with Heidi she knew excactly what to ask and was able to get someone our right away . Highly recommend them , they are theee BEST!
Alex was quick to answer and did a quick and excellent job! I highly recommend them to anyone for great and affordable service!
These guys are the best! We were having a infestation of bugs and they came and saved the day!! They are super friendly and so very helpful! I am telling all my friends to call Exceed Pest Defense.
Great customer service! Alex was very informative and explain everything he was doing and why. He was very polite and professional.
Shout out to Exceed! Thanks for doing such a fantastic job each month and keeping our home as big free as possible!!! For us spider HATERS, this means a lot!!
Aliante, Anthem, Arden, Blue Diamond, Boulder City, Chinatown, Downtown Las Vegas, Enterprise, Green Valley, Henderson Executive Airport, Henderson, Lake Las Vegas, Las Vegas Country Club, Las Vegas Strip, Las Vegas, Lone Mountain, MacDonald Highlands, McCarran International Airport, Mesquite, Mount Charleston, Mountain's Edge, Nellis AFB, North Las Vegas Airport, North Las Vegas, One Queensridge Place, Paradise Palms, Paradise, Seven Hills, Sloan, South Summerlin, Southern Highlands Golf Club, Southern Highlands, Spring Valley, Summerlin, Sunrise Manor, The Lakes, West Las Vegas, Whitney and Winchester.
88901, 89002, 89004″89005, 89007, 89011, 89012, 89014, 89015, 89018, 89021, 89025, 89027, 89029, 89030, 89031, 89032, 89033, 89034, 89039, 89040, 89044, 89046, 89052, 89054, 89074, 89081, 89084, 89085, 89086, 89101, 89102, 89103, 89104, 89105, 89106, 89107, 89108, 89109, 89110, 89111, 89113, 89115, 89116, 89117, 89118, 89119, 89120, 89121, 89122, 89123, 89124, 89125, 89126, 89128, 89129, 89130, 89131, 89132, 89133, 89134, 89135, 89138, 89139, 89140, 89141, 89142, 89143, 89144, 89145, 89146, 89147, 89148, 89149, 89151, 89152, 89153, 89154, 89155, 89156, 89158, 89159, 89161, 89165, 89166, 89169, 89178, 89179, 89183, 89185, 89191 and 89195.
Interested in a career in pest control?
We exceed customer expectations and pride ourselves on communication, competitive pricing, timeliness and eliminating pest problems for commercial, industrial and residential customers!
If you feel you are a fit for our team and would like a career in the pest control industry, send your resume to: [email protected].
© Exceed Pest Defense 2019, LLC. NV Pest Control Bus Lic #6963. Listed in pestcontrolinvegas.com.
Website by Local SEO Vegas. | slim_pajama |
cell therapy has established itself as an important field of research with considerable progress in the last years .
several disorders , including those of inflammatory , traumatic , degenerative , and autoimmune nature , are listed as potential targets for stem cell application . while the bone marrow leads the investigations , other sources of stem cells
have been explored , searching for cells with higher plasticity and tissues with facilitated harvesting .
disposable tissues , such as the amniotic fluid , placenta , and , more recently , menstrual blood , are being investigated as potential sources of stem cells for therapy [ 24 ] . the immature phenotype , high proliferative potential , and immunomodulatory effects of these cells suggest them as powerful tools for repair .
neurovascular diseases are the third leading cause of death in the united states and the first cause of chronic disability [ 5 , 6 ] .
aging of the population and changes in lifestyle , especially in developed countries , contribute to the progressive increase in the incidence of these disorders , more specifically stroke .
on the other hand , treatment is limited , and the only approved therapeutic agent for ischemic stroke is tissue plasminogen activator ( tpa ) .
more limiting , however , is the time window for tpa application , restricted to up to 3 hours after symptom onset . as result ,
a report from 2008 estimated that only 1.8 to 2.1% of all stroke patients had been treated with tpa in the united states .
it is clear , therefore , that therapeutic alternatives are warranted for the remaining stroke - affected patients which , excluded from tpa benefits , are exposed to the chronic consequences of the disease .
menstrual blood cell injections are proposed as a restorative therapy after stroke , aiming to provide functional improvement and , therefore , decrease disability of the affected patients .
migration to the site of injury , immunomodulation , and secretion of neurotrophic factors are their main footholds as therapeutic agents . when compared to bone marrow - derived cells , menstrual blood cells present more immature phenotype and behavior , albeit maintaining the characteristic adult stem cell safety [ 410 ] .
experimental studies have demonstrated benefits of menstrual blood cell administration , with tissue repair and functional improvement , not only in the central nervous system , but also in the heart and ischemic limbs [ 1013 ] .
cell differentiation , although demonstrable in vitro , is still heterogeneously reported in the literature , and its relevance to the final outcome is not yet established . of more importance may be the endogenous pathways of repair , which are also stimulated by the administrated cells .
this paper aims to characterize menstrual blood cells , describe their possible mechanisms of repair in stroke , and , finally , discuss practical aspects of autologous , thus personalized , application . at this time , however , the use of menstrual blood cells for autologous transplantation is restricted to the female population , regarding autologous use .
the injury that follows stroke includes the infarct core , which harbors the tissue that evolves almost instantly to death due to ischemia , and the penumbra area , which surrounds the core and that maintains viable , yet nonfunctional , tissue . while the lesion in the core is mostly irreversible , the penumbra area may be rescued , and its fate depends upon severity of the ischemia and time elapsed before restoring blood flow .
earlier destruction of the clot , restoring blood flow , significantly improves functional outcome of patients .
however , application of tpa after the 3-hour time window increases the risk of hemorrhagic transformation of the ischemic stroke , therefore limiting its use to a small , fortunate group of patients that are able to reach the emergency room and complete neurological triage in time to be treated .
inflammation is settled shortly after the ischemic insult and plays a dual role in stroke .
microglial activation leads to the inflammatory events , resulting in blood - brain - barrier leakage , edema , hemorrhage , and leukocyte infiltration [ 19 , 20 ] .
the migration of attracted cells from the systemic circulation amplifies the inflammatory response , that culminates with release of cytokines , nitric oxide and free radicals , further microglial and astrocytic activation , all of which contribute to the worsening of the neurotoxic environment .
therefore , while inflammation is important to promote clearance of debris , scavenge excess neurotransmitters from the extracellular space , control water and ion homeostasis , and increase the production of neurotrophic factors , it may also promote secondary damage to the nervous tissue .
additionally , the scar tissue generated by the reactive astrocytes , encapsulating the infarcted area and protecting the remaining healthy brain from further damage , interferes with the repairing mechanisms , such as migration of stem cells and angiogenesis . in summary
, inflammation is necessary and beneficial in the initial hours after stroke , however , as time progresses , interventions are needed to restrain the aberrant immunological response and thus protect the brain from further damage .
the results are improved when the cells are applied according to the dynamics of the inflammatory response .
therefore , interventions in the first 24 hours following stroke are mainly neuroprotective and aim to restore vessel permeability .
thereafter , inflammation settles itself , with maximum intensity during the first week after stroke , during which the stem cells have their best applications , promoting restoration of the penumbra area . injected intravenously ,
stem cells migrate to the site of injury and opportunely interact with the inflammatory environment , modulating its deleterious effects and at the same time maximizing its beneficial aspects .
changes in the immunological profile towards a less inflammatory response , increasing of cells with regulatory function , decreasing of inflammatory cytokines and reversal of astrocytic reactivity are described as modulatory effects of stem cells [ 24 , 25 ] . moreover ,
cytokines and chemokines secreted by the damaged tissue can stimulate the differentiation of the injected cells into cell types of interest for repair . still in the inflammatory context ,
stem cells secrete neurotrophic factors , which in turn stimulate neuronal survival and endogenous repairing pathways [ 23 , 25 ] .
once inflammation decreases , after approximately one month after stroke , according to animal studies , cells are no longer attracted to the damage site or are stimulated to differentiate in situ .
the use of undifferentiated cells through intravenous route seems to be the best approach for clinical translation since it is minimally invasive and possesses multiple therapeutic pathways . on one end of the spectrum of differentiation ,
embryonic cells have the advantage of high plasticity , trophic support , and proliferation [ 28 , 29 ] .
however , the risks of uncontrolled proliferation and teratogenicity , among other problems associated with this cell type , make them prohibitive as therapeutic agents . on the other end
are the adult stem cells , which still maintain a certain variability in the scale of maturity , according to their source . therefore , bone marrow - derived stem cells present lower proliferative capacity and less telomerase activity than stem cells derived from adipose , dental pulp , and endometrial tissue .
these , in turn , present more immature characteristics , expressing embryonic markers and differentiating in vitro into cell types from all three germ cell layers [ 1 , 30 ] .
the presence of stem cells in the endometrium was first described over 30 years ago .
the monthly shedding of the superficial layers suggested that cells with high proliferating capacities were present in the tissue .
the endometrium is composed of epithelial cells , identified in the superficial layers of the tissue , and extending toward the interface with the myometrium , through the tubular glands .
the remaining endometrium consists of stromal cells , smooth muscle cells , endothelial cells , and leukocytes .
functionally , the endometrium can be divided in an upper layer , named functionalis , which contains mostly glands loosely held together by stromal tissue , and in a lower layer , basalis , consisting of dense stroma and branching glands .
the functionalis is eliminated monthly , as menstruation , and the basalis persists and gives rise to the new endometrium , under hormonal influence . against the initial belief that the stem cells were exclusively part of the basalis layer of the endometrium , and were not eliminated with menstruation , meng et al .
several other studies followed , confirming the discovery [ 4 , 34 , 35 ] and consolidating menstrual blood as a possible source of stem cells .
epithelial and stromal cells isolated from the endometrium or from menstrual blood and cultured in vitro show clonogenicity and proliferative capacity , but the epithelial cells soon lose part of their phenotypic markers and need a feeder layer to survive [ 33 , 36 ] .
patel et al . published a detailed study , in which stromal stem cells isolated from menstrual blood ( menscs ) were expanded in vitro , and showed clonogenic properties and multipotentiality .
they also demonstrated that menscs expressed markers of pluripotency , such as oct-4 , ssea-4 , and c - kit , which are frequently found in more immature cell types , including the embryonic stem cells .
recently , allickson et al . published a study about the proliferative properties of human menstrual blood - derived cells . agreeing with previous studies , the cells presented high proliferative rates and immature phenotype , expressing embryonic cell markers , which remained unaltered after 20 culture passages .
interestingly , the cells demonstrated resistance , since they were able to be processed up to 96 hours after collection , high viability after processing , and longevity , as some of the cultures were able to be subcultured 47 times before senescence .
cui et al . published in 2007 the first report of an in vivo application of endometrial - derived cells . in this study , the investigators evaluated the effects of both endometrial cells and menstrual blood cells in a murine model of duchenne muscular dystrophy .
fusion of the injected cells to myoblasts was observed in vivo and in vitro , followed by the production of human dystrophin by the treated muscle . shortly after that ,
hida et al . described their experience in differentiating menstrual blood - derived stromal cells in vitro into spontaneously beating cardiomyocyte - like cells . when menstrual blood cells were injected in the ischemic tissue of myocardial infarct rat models , functional improvement was noted , differently than what was observed when bone marrow stromal cells were used .
additionally , they compared the phenotype and proliferative characteristics of endometrial gland mesenchymal cells and menstrual blood mesenchymal cells , concluding that they are very similar populations of cells , the latter possibly deriving from the former .
finally , the authors also described cell engraftment and transdifferentiation into cardiac tissue , which seems to be a unique characteristic of this transplantation site , since other studies transplanting endometrial - derived cells into different tissues failed to detect expressive differentiation .
regarding neurovascular disorders , borlongan et al . reported the results of menstrual blood cell transplantation in experimental stroke .
stromal - like menstrual blood stem cells were isolated , expanded , and selected for cd117 , a marker associated with high proliferation , migration , and survival . in vitro studies
showed that the expanded cells maintained expression of embryonic - like stem cell phenotypic markers , such as oct4 , ssea-4 , and nanog , even when cultured up to 9 passages , as an evidence of the safety and reliability of these cells , and some were induced to express neural markers ( map2 and nestin ) .
moreover , when added to cultured rat neurons exposed to a hypoxic insult , the menstrual blood cells provided neuroprotection , and when applied to rat stroke models , less neurologic deficit was observed on functional tests , irrespective of the injection site , that is , systemic or local administration into the striatum .
however , analysis of the tissue , after animal sacrifice , revealed that although human cells were detected in the rat brain , some migrating to areas other than the injected , they did not show signs of differentiation , expressing their original markers .
the observation suggests that , at least in the brain tissue , cell differentiation is not the main mechanism of repair .
wolff et al . reported the use of endometrial - derived cells in a parkinson 's disease mouse model .
endometrial - derived stromal cells were differentiated in vitro into dopaminergic - like cells , which expressed nestin and tyrosine hydroxylase ( th ) , an enzyme that participates in dopamine synthesis . labeled human endometrium - derived cells and predifferentiated dopaminergic - like cells were transplanted into the striatum of the animals .
endometrial - derived stromal cells were able to migrate to the substantia nigra and also showed signs of in vivo differentiation , acquiring neuronal phenotype and expressing human th .
taken together , these observations demonstrate the therapeutic potential of these cells to functionally restore the damaged tissue .
they also reinforce the idea that cells do not need to be predifferentiated before transplantation and that more immature , less - differentiated cell types migrate easily to the inflammatory sites .
the only clinical study yet published evaluated the safety aspects of endometrial - derived stromal cells administration .
four patients with multiple sclerosis were treated with intrathecal injections of 16 to 30 million cells , and one of the patients also received an additional intravenous injection .
no adverse events were registered and , in the short followup of 12 months , the authors reported functional stabilization .
endometrium - derived cells present a strong angiogenic potential that contributes to the experimental investigations of vascular growth and remodeling and , perhaps , even for designing clinical therapeutic studies , as these cells might be applied to cardiovascular diseases .
the angiogenic behavior was already predicted by the observation of high levels of vegf and its receptors in the tissue and is probably associated with the function of the cells in the endometrium , that is , rapid proliferation and implantation of the embryo . in a pilot experimental study , murphy et al
. demonstrated that intramuscular injections of endometrial - derived cells in hind limbs of rats were able to prevent the formation of necrotic ulcers after ligation of the femoral artery and its branches .
the authors and others propose to investigate the angiogenic properties of these cells in chronic limb ischemia patients and , more recently , severe skin burns , using the cells associated to intelligent artificial films
. in summary , the available evidence regarding menstrual blood - derived cells favors their future application in clinical studies . in comparison to stem cells from other sources , especially those from the bone marrow , menstrual blood - derived stem cells have the advantage of presenting a more immature phenotype , through the expression of embryonic - like surface markers .
their immature behavior is confirmed by in vitro differentiation studies in which menstrual blood - derived cells originate diverse tissue types from all three germ layers [ 4 , 33 ] .
moreover , they seem to have a higher proliferative capacity , above 30 population doublings , when compared to stromal cells from other sources , such as the bone marrow and dental pulp , which are limited to approximately 20 population doublings . additionally , cultured menstrual blood cells maintain longer telomerase activity than bone marrow - derived cells [ 4 , 34 ] , indicating delayed senescence
. these observations may reflect higher regenerative and differentiation potentials in vivo , yet to be confirmed by comparative studies between cells from different sources . whether endometrial - derived stem cells provide repair through cell differentiation or through paracrine effects
the available evidence suggests that the type of tissue and possibly the nature of the injury may determine the repairing mechanisms .
personalized medicine is a rapidly expanding field offering patient - specific therapies to treat disease .
autologous cell transplantation may be a form of personalized medicine that could afford many benefits in the clinical setting , such as the elimination of graft versus host disease .
transplantation of autologous stem cells may circumvent the need for immunosuppressants , which can cause many deleterious side effects to the patient .
ethical controversy surrounding the collection of a patient 's own stem cells is greatly reduced , thus increasing the accessibility of these cells .
unlike embryonic and fetal stem cells , harvesting autologous stem cells from the patient does not harm another organism .
embryonic stem cells carry an increased risk of tumor formation , a characteristic not exhibited in autologous adult stem cells . increased safety and decreased ethical controversy make autologous stem cells an appealing therapeutic option for neurological disease .
the debate currently surrounding not only embryonic stem cell retrieval but also stem cell usage in general has sparked issues with the usage . obtaining cells from a patient 's own body would circumvent the ethical controversy as it is not harvesting viable cells from one individual donor to another individual recipient , but it is entirely for the same patient .
additionally , these cells would not be taken in ways possibly deemed as therapeutic cell cloning , such as the current debate following embryonic and fetal stem cells .
menstrual blood cells are a promising source of repair . their immature behavior warrants migration , immunomodulation , secretion of growth factors , and , in some cases , differentiation .
these properties , coupled to the angiogenic potential of the cells , make them attractive for restorative approaches following ischemic stroke , as already demonstrated by translational research .
moreover , these cells are optimal candidates for autologous therapy , following the current trend to cryopreserve biological products intended for future use .
although stromal cells have low immunogenicity due to the lack of mhc class ii expression , therefore enabling allogeneic application , autologous use is still preferred .
some advantages are guaranteed lack of immunogenicity , reverting in longer cell survival and no induction of local inflammatory reaction , safety , and diminished risk of ethical conflicts . the one - week time window that follows stroke seems the best opportunity for cell therapy .
while inflammation is at its best degree , there is enough time to stabilize the patient , complete physical examination and laboratory tests , discuss the therapeutic options with the patient and family , and , finally , apply the cells .
unfortunately , the time window is still short for expansion of autologous cells in vitro , as the procedure usually requires a few weeks to obtain minimum number of cells .
menstrual blood cell banking , thus , seems to be the best strategy and may become a strong competitor to the already available umbilical cord blood banks .
since the blood is collected through the placement of a silicone cup inside the donor 's vagina , therefore exposed to microbial contamination , some precautions are required , such as refrigeration of the collected specimens and use of antibiotics . additionally , the cells should be processed , expanded , and stored in a certified facility , under strict rules of cleanliness and safety .
additional safety measures include phenotypical verification of the cells after expansion , ensuring that they maintain the original markers and cytogenetic evaluations , excluding chromosomal aberrations and microbiological tests
. a hypothetical scenario would be a woman , in postmenopausal age , recently affected by an ischemic stroke . due to the limited timeframe between the beginning of symptoms and final diagnosis
, she would be part of the majority of patients that are excluded from tpa treatment .
after further examinations , evaluation of the extension of the infarct and prognostic evaluations would be completed , estimating the degree of future , long - term disability .
finally , given the information that the patient has menstrual blood cells cryopreserved and ready for use , the therapy would be considered .
after patient or familial consent , the cell banking facility would be contacted by the responsible physician , settling date and time for the infusion .
the cells would be transported cryopreserved , being thawed at bedside and immediately infused intravenously , under physician supervision and cardiorespiratory monitoring .
after infusion , the patient would stay in the hospital during at least 24 hours , for adverse reaction monitoring , especially due to the possible toxic effects of dimethyl sulfoxide ( dmso ) used in cell cryopreservation and to remaining traces of antibiotics in the cell suspension ( figure 1 ) .
after discharge , periodical evaluations would evaluate the patient 's progress , establishing goals for the complimentary treatments such as physical and speech therapies , nutrition , and , finally , ability to resume work . for a stroke - affected patient ,
the slightest improvement in neurological function can be decisive for self - sufficiency and , even , for ability to work , which are ultimately translated into financial independence .
therefore , investing in cell banking as a safety measure against possible future events may be a wise and even profitable step . while cell banking is already widely accessible for umbilical cord blood , only recently has it also become available for menstrual blood cells .
women in child - bearing age may donate multiple samples of menstrual blood , enabling storage of large amounts of cells for future use . as a further possibility , the cells could be expanded and differentiated into specific tissues and be ready for eventual transplantation use .
an efficient banking system for menstrual blood cells would require an organized and updated registration system , enabling prompt identification and rapid retrieval of the cryopreserved cells , just in time for therapeutic application .
the rescue of the penumbra area after stroke is decisive for functional outcome and a great opportunity for cell therapy .
stem cells promote functional restoration especially through modulation of the activated immune system and secretion of trophic factors . although cell differentiation is observed in the experimental setting , its importance to the final outcome of the treatment is still undefined .
menstrual cells combine characteristics that are convenient for clinical application and , in parallel with cells derived from other disposable tissues , may have a role in the future investigations .
cryopreservation of autologous cells for future use may be a prudent strategy to those patients at risk of being affected by stroke .
obviously , menstrual blood as a source of autologous cells is limited to women as the target patient population .
despite the potential challenges still to be resolved , these cells represent important therapeutic tools that may improve the disease outcome , decreasing the mortality and morbidity of stroke patients .
cvb and prs serve as consultants , and prs is a co - founder of saneron - ccel therapeutics , inc . , and
cvb , prs , and jga have a patent application in this area , owned jointly by cryo - cell international , inc . and saneron - ccel therapeutics , inc .
provided the foundational menstrual stem cell technology in the patent applications of m. a. walton and jga wholly owned by cryo - cell international , inc . | pubmed |
Candy Candy 1. Chapter 1
**LA MENTIRA**
**CAPITULO I**
**NUEVA YORK 1916…**
Caminaba por aquellas calles rumbo a su hotel donde estaba hospedada, saldría al día siguiente rumbo a Francia, donde se integraría a los equipos médicos como enfermera militar, se había enlistado sin tomar el parecer a Albert, sabía que si le decía sus planes, éste se iba a oponer rotundamente, pero no había de otra, no quería seguir viviendo en una continua tristeza y estancamiento en sus vida, aunque en el Hogar de Pony había tratado de integrarse a las actividades, sabía que su deber era seguir en la carrera de enfermera, así que con todas las bendiciones de la señorita Pony y la Hermana María, quienes nunca se oponían a sus decisiones la despidieron aquella mañana.
- _ Debes cuidarte mi niña – le decía la señorita Pony con lágrimas en los ojos_
_- No se apure señorita Pony, estaré bien… - le contestó Candy_
_- Siempre estarás en nuestras oraciones, ten mucho cuidado… - le dijo la Hermana María tratando de sostener las lágrimas que pugnaban por salir de sus ojos._
_- Nunca acabaré de agradecerles todo lo que han hecho por mi – les dijo Candy llorando y abrazó a cada una de aquellas mujeres que la habían cuidado toda su vida y a las que quería con todo su corazón, ya que eran sus dos madres, como las llamaba de cariño_
Iba observando a todos los transeúntes, le sorprendía ver que a pesar de la hora había aún mucha gente en las calles, pero era lo que se decía siempre de esa ciudad "que nunca dormía" Nueva York, la cual ella había evitado visitar durante tres años, pero ahora afortunadamente estaba solo de paso, hacía mucho frío, había salido a comprar unas cosas que quizás necesitaría durante su travesía a Francia, donde se incorporaría a los equipos médicos que serían enviados a la guerra.
Caminaba evitando pensar, recordar lo triste que era para ella esa ciudad, todo había sido muy difícil después de abandonar lo que para ella había sido el amor más grande de su vida.
Cuando se reincorporó en el hogar de pony, días después de aquella última comida en honor a ella, que fue cuando se enteró que Albert era en realidad el tío abuelo William, trató de comenzar de nuevo, pero desafortunadamente tuvo una terrible depresión, lo que la hizo mantenerse apartada casi de todo mundo, aunque trataba de aparentar una animosidad que estaba muy lejos de sentir.
Sucedió como la primera vez que volvió, recordó, cuando Anthony murió y regresó a su "hogar" como ella lo llamaba, aunque en esta ocasión fue quizás más difícil volver a reintegrarse al mundo, ya que el hombre que ella amaba no había muerto, estaba vivo y con otra mujer, muchas veces estuvo tentada en buscarlo, se repetía varias veces que había cometido un error al obligarlo a afrontar un deber que no quería tomar, pero era demasiado tarde, él se había casado, lo que la había orillado a deprimirse cada vez más.
_La señorita Pony y la hermana María, jamás se metían en la vida de Candy, pero en aquella ocasión no pudieron soportar más verla en ese estado y hablaron con ella._
_- creo hija que deberías recuperarte – decía la señorita Pony con más tacto._
_- Creo Candy que te estás haciendo mucho daño – dijo la Hermana María, quien era más directa_
_- … - Candy no hablaba_
_- ¡Sal adelante! – le dijo de repente la señorita Pony con mucha determinación – no te dejes vencer, eres una mujer muy fuerte Candy… no abandones tu juventud llorando por el pasado, el futuro está allá afuera – le señaló la ventana donde se veía el horizonte – no hija, no te hundas en la depresión ¿dónde está aquella mujer que siempre luchaba por todo lo que quería?_
_- Si Candy – intervino la Hermana María – eres una mujer muy fuerte y estamos orgullosas de ti, siempre fuiste muy valiente y puedes hacer mucho más_
_- Si tienen razón – dijo levantándose de donde había estado sentada – tengo que salir adelante…_
_La señorita Pony y la Hermana María sintieron un calor muy agradable en sus corazones al ver que quizás aquella niña podría aún levantarse._
_Desde ese día Candy cambió un poco, sonreía, pero siempre mantenía en aquellos ojos verdes una tristeza que parecía no querer abandonarla, a Albert le sorprendió cuando la visitó que estaba nuevamente en las tareas, ayudando, sonriendo y jugando con los niños del Hogar, aunque se notaba que estaba de pie, había algo que aún se veía en ella, la tristeza._
_Dos calles adelante estaba su hotel donde pasaría la noche, solamente una noche pasaría en aquella ciudad que tan tristes recuerdos le traían, donde vivía un hombre que a pesar del tiempo transcurrido seguía recordando._
Entonces unos ruidos provenientes de un oscuro callejón atrajeron su atención, vio las siluetas de unos hombres que al parecer estaban golpeando a otra que estaba oponiendo resistencia, como siempre su sentido de ayuda salió y se adentró en el lugar sin pensar en las consecuencias.
- ¡Hey! ¡Deténganse! – Comenzó a gritar - ¡Llamaré a la policía! – dijo y se dio cuenta que los dos tipos se detuvieron y se alejaron corriendo, ella al mirar que había alguien tirado, se acercó y comenzó a revisarlo, no podía mirarlo bien, se dio cuenta que olía demasiado a alcohol – ¿se siente bien? – preguntó, el hombre no contestó, entonces con diligencia comenzó a darle los primeros auxilios, vio que estaban sangrando sus labios, el largo cabello del hombre cubría su cara de la nariz hacia arriba, así que comenzó a tocarlo, le descubrió la cara pero con la poca visibilidad que tenía no lo podía observar bien, pero le limpió la sangre que le salía de una de sus cejas, además de la de la boca que le pareció, a pesar de las circunstancias, una boca muy bella.
Se fue entonces fuera del callejón, hacia la calle donde transitaban algunas personas, le pidió ayuda a un hombre, el cual afortunadamente hizo caso a su llamado, y con la ayuda de esa persona, se dirigieron al hotel de ella, en el cual cuando cruzaron por la pequeña recepción de éste no estaba el portero, por lo que no tuvo ningún problema para llegar hasta su habitación, abrió la puerta y los tres pasaron, el amable hombre que la había ayudado, llevó al herido hasta la cama de ella, donde lo acostó.
Después de darle las gracias y despedir al buen hombre, reunió implementos de curación para curar al herido, a quien a plena luz pudo ver de quien se trataba.
- ¡Dios! – dijo soltando el maletín y tapó su boca conteniendo un sollozo, se acercó a él temblando y se separó suavemente el cabello que tapaba su cara – Te… Terry – tartamudeó, en sus ojos se leía claramente la emoción de tenerlo tan cerca de ella, contuvo las lágrimas y con excitación comenzó a curarlo.
Con sumo cuidado limpió las heridas de la cara, pero por mala suerte la herida de la ceja estaba abierta, lo que implicaría tener que coserle, Candy por fortuna, como buena enfermera se había hecho acompañar siempre por un pequeño maletín regalo de Albert, que contenía muchos artículos de curación, procedió a la tarea de hacerlo.
Pero entonces cuando comenzó a echarle agua oxigenada para limpiar la herida, éste despertó.
- ¡Auuch! – Dijo - ¡Eso duele! – trató de levantarse, pero un dolor en el costado lo hizo acostarse de nuevo con los ojos cerrados
- No… te mue… muevas – dijo con temor Candy
Terry entonces se quedó quieto y abrió sus ojos y con lentitud volteó a mirarla, ella contuvo la respiración.
- ¡Candy! – dijo como una exhalación
- No te muevas – decía Candy con voz baja – debo curarte – dijo y escondió su mirada de la de él
Mágicamente Terry se mantuvo quieto mientras ella realizaba el trabajo, aunque cerraba los ojos cuando Candy metía la aguja en la herida, pero los abría cuando pasaba el hilo, observaba cada uno de los movimientos de Candy, la ponía nerviosa, pero ella trataba de mantenerse bajo control, sudaba mucho, no lo podía creer, cientos de personas en aquella ciudad y precisamente tener en su habitación, curando a una persona que acababa de ser herida y tener que ser precisamente él, "ÉL", se dijo.
**_Soy vecino de este mundo por un rato_**
**_Y coincide que también tú estás aquí_**
**_Coincidencias tan extrañas de la vida_**
**_Tantos siglos, tantos mundos, tanto espacio_**
**_Y coincidir…_**
- Ya está – dijo Candy cuando terminó de cortar el hilo
- Te has convertido en la mejor enfermera pecosa… – contestó Terry sin dejar de mirarla
- Gracias – dijo ella mirando hacia otro lado mientras recogía sus implementos de curación
- Creo que el alcohol que me tomé está haciendo que tenga alucinaciones ¿de verdad eres tu? – dijo arrastrando las palabras, realmente seguía borracho – jamás ni en mi más loca imaginación pensé que te tendría aquí junto a mi
- No te muevas, déjame revisarte… – le dijo Candy en voz suave, él no opuso resistencia, parecía estar envuelto en una especie de sopor
- Aahh – Terry lanzó un suspiro – tus manos me hacen entrar en un estado total de relajación – dijo y a pesar de todo Candy se ruborizó y dejó de tocarlo
- Creo que estás bien, no tienes ningún hueso roto – comentó y se alejó de él
- Pecosa… - Terry nuevamente trató de levantarse y volvió a dejarse caer en la cama con dolor - ¡Uy!
- ¿Qué sucede, estás bien?
- No creo que no, me duele mucho – decía agarrándose otra parte del cuerpo, Candy lo miró extrañada, pero se acercó a él.
- De acuerdo, descansa un poco – dijo Candy y comenzó a moverse de un lado a otro acomodando sus cosas
- Candy… - habló Terry, su voz se escuchaba aún con las letras arrastradas – te he extrañado mucho – Candy que estaba de espaldas sólo alzó la cabeza sin voltearlo a mirar – aunque he tratado de estar de pie, no lo logro, porque de nuevo al buscarte y no encontrarte junto a mi, vuelvo a derrumbarme… mi vida es una porquería…
- No digas eso, tienes una buena mujer a tu lado… - comenzó a decir Candy
- ¡Ja! ¿una buena mujer a mi lado? ¡por favor! Si no hace más que presionarme a que yo la ame y me case con ella ¿cómo hacerlo si a la que amo es a otra mujer?
- Terry… no digas más
- ¡Es la verdad Candy! Y mira si el destino se empeña en volvernos a juntar ¿crees que ha sido una casualidad el que yo ¡yo! esté precisamente en tu cama? ¡claro que no! El destino cruel y despiadado hace que volvamos a encontrarnos…
- Creo que deberías irte – decía Candy aún dando la espalda, mientras de sus ojos amargas lágrimas derramaban
No escuchó respuesta alguna después de decir eso, volteó lentamente y miró a Terry, quien con trabajos trataba de ponerse su saco, en su rostro se pintaba una tremenda tristeza, ella se acercó a él a ayudarle, pero él volvió a mirarla y fue su perdición, la profunda tristeza en los ojos azulados de Terry la hipnotizó como si se tratara de un pozo profundo ¿qué poder tenía él para hacerla sentirse así? ¿Acaso el amor que ella creyó haber superado había sido una mentira?
Y sin saber cómo sus rostros comenzaron a acercarse poco a poco, parecía que el tiempo se había detenido solamente para que ellos pudieran disfrutar lo más que se pudiera de su cercanía.
Sus labios se juntaron en una larga espera, había sido una promesa cumplida, un beso que era una caricia, Candy sintió los calidos labios de Terry, éste se sintió en el cielo al sentirlos pegados a los suyos, Candy sintió una pequeña punzada en su vientre lo que la hizo sentir como si un torrente de lava comenzara a subir hasta su boca haciendo que sin querer la abriera, lo que aprovechó Terry para profundizar ese beso, se internaron en una vorágine de pasión, un inocente beso en el pasado, significó para los dos lo más grande en el mundo, lo que no se comparaba con lo que estaban sintiendo los dos en ese momento.
- Candy, Candy… - susurraba Terry junto a los labios de ella – te amo, te amo, jamás he dejado de amarte
- Terry… yo también te amo – contestó de igual forma
Terry comenzó a acariciar la espalda de ella, Candy estaba aferrada al cuello de él, sin saber cómo ella sintió las manos en su espalda desnuda haciendo que se estremeciera, poco a poco Terry comenzó a bajar su boca hasta el cuello de Candy dejando un camino de besos, Candy abrió sus ojos, sabía que tenía que parar aquello, pero… no podía, sentía que si lo detenía ella quizás desfallecería…
- Terry yo… - hablo con voz temblorosa
Éste levantó su rostro y la miró con ojos oscurecidos por la pasión, lo que excitó más a Candy, eran unas emociones hasta entonces desconocidas para ella.
- ¿Qué pasa? – dijo mirándola, ella lo miraba también con ojos oscurecidos – tienes razón – sonrió con amargura – no debo tratarte de esta manera… - dijo y con renuencia la soltó
- Terry…
- Perdóname Candy, tienes razón, no debí en primera, besarte, no te lo mereces… - Candy no hablaba, él prosiguió – Quiero estar contigo Candy, quiero estar junto a ti – la miró con ansiedad
- ¡No podemos, eso lo sabes muy bien! – dijo con lagrimas en los ojos
- Si podemos, si tu quieres – le dijo
- Pero y Su…
- Sshh – Terry la calló antes de pronunciar el nombre – no digas más, solo somos tu y yo, no tenemos porque involucrar a otras personas
- ¡Pero siempre estará en medio de los dos! – dijo sentándose en la cama - ¡será imposible no hacerlo, no pensar en ella!
- Candy… - Terry se sentó junto a ella y le tomó una mano – solo dime si estás dispuesta a estar conmigo y lo demás no tendrá importancia… dime si me amas y abandonaré todo… si no, pues me iré y volveré a mi oscura vida de siempre…
- Terry – Candy lo miró a los ojos y en esos azules ojos que la volvían loca parecían pasar miles de imágenes, recuerdos, se vio a si misma la noche en que lo conoció, lo que sentía cuando estaba junto a él, el primer beso, revivió todo en segundos hasta llegar a la separación, regresó a la realidad, se dio cuenta que Terry no había apartado la mirada de ella, la miraba con tanto amor, con rendición y no soportó más – Te amo Terry… siempre te he amado y quiero estar contigo, aunque sea mi perdición
Terry no articuló palabra, sus ojos se iluminaron y sin avisar comenzó nuevamente a besarla, ahora con más pasión, con más libertad, ella sin oponer resistencia alguna se dejó amar, juntos rodaron en aquella cama, mientras sus ropas caían a los lados, Terry la amó suavemente como si de una delicada rosa se tratara, ella lloró al tocar el cielo junto a su hombre amado, junto al fin se hicieron uno, amándose y jurándose amor eterno…
Continuará…
Bueno, aquí estoy de nuevo, espero que cuente con su aprobación en este nuevo fic.
2. Capitulo 2
**LA MENTIRA**
**CAPITULO II**
**LIVERPOOL 1934…**
**Las pesadas puertas se cerraron a las espaldas de aquella mujer que acababa de cruzarlas, momentáneamente se encontraba cegada por la aquella luz que tenía mucho no había visto de esa manera.**
**Acababa de recobrar su libertad, se la habían otorgado por su buena conducta, quince años de su vida detrás de aquellas puertas metálicas, encerrada en una celda que compartía con tres internas más.**
**Aquella mujer a pesar de la edad que tenía aparentaba tener más, quizás fuera por lo demacrado de su rostro, por la delgadez que observaba, quizás por las ojeras que se pintaban alrededor de sus verdes ojos que a pesar de que eran aún muy bellos, se encontraban apagados, también fuera por lo maltratado de su cabello, el cual solamente se encontraba en un chongo a lo alto de su cabeza, fuera cual fuera la razón, nadie podría imaginar que se veía mayor a su edad, no tanto por su físico, sino porque su alma estaba cansada, derrotada, todo el sufrimiento que traía a cuestas, la hacía verse encorvada incluso, haciéndola verse más pequeña aún.**
**Tomó un camino rumbo a la estación de trenes, donde compró un boleto de tercera clase hasta Londres, todo su viaje miraba sin ver el paisaje, solamente atinó a comprar unas frutas para su recorrido, se veía enferma, aunque en realidad la enfermedad que tenía no era física, sino más bien del alma lo que le impedía comer, aún así cuando llegaban a una estación y se les permitía a los pasajeros bajar por un lapso de algunos minutos, ella se quedaba arriba, no quería verse en la penosa falta de perderse ella y perder su tren.**
**Fue un largo viaje hasta Londres, ella se mantuvo callada todo el viaje, parecía que era ya una costumbre en ella, su mirada apagada seguía observando todo su camino a través de la ventanilla del tren, aunque la mayor parte del viaje se durmió, parecía estar demasiado cansada y necesitara dormir.**
**Cuando llegó a Londres se acercó nuevamente a la ventanilla de venta de boletos y compró otro para Southampton, por fortuna tenía suficiente dinero que había podido ganar en la penitenciaria durante todos esos años.**
**La gente que pasaba junto a ella la miraba por debajo de su hombro, la consideraban una persona insignificante, claro que se veía así, por las ropas que traía que eran de una sencillez impresionante, así como los zapatos bajos que tenían raspaduras en las puntas, no tenía medias, además de que su piel estaba demasiado pálida, daba un aspecto de enferma, realmente se miraba patética.**
**Pero todo aquello no le interesaba, se iba diciendo mientras subía al tren que la llevaría hasta el puerto para poder tomar un barco. Nuevamente el sueño la venció, pareciera que no la quisiera abandonar, por lo que cuando se dio cuenta ya estaban llegando a la estación de Southampton.**
**Ahí se dirigió donde vendían boletos, compró uno de tercera clase, tenía que economizar, ya que no estaba segura de cuánto habían aumentado los precios desde que ella abandonara el mundo exterior.**
**Al atardecer abandonó Inglaterra en aquel barco, acompañada de una buena cantidad de libras, una pequeña maleta y su documentación, pronto estaría en América, pronto llegaría el momento de pedir explicaciones, no sabría si tomaría venganza por todo el daño que le habían hecho a través de todos esos años, aunque claro, estaba consciente que aún vengándose no le retribuirían todos aquellos años que pasó encerrada por un crimen que no cometió.**
**Acostada en el pequeño camarote su mente voló años atrás, cuando abandonó América, cuando abandonó al hombre que más había amado en la vida, lo que le había dolido dejarlo, el esfuerzo que había hecho para no separarse de su cuerpo calido, abrazada a él debajo de aquellas sabanas en aquel cuarto de hotel barato.**
**- estúpida de mí – se dijo, a sus oídos se escuchaba extraña su voz, que había enronquecido un poco, quizás porque siempre desde que había entrado en aquella cárcel, le había hecho daño la humedad de ésta – debí haberte hecho caso aquel día y quedarme contigo, quizás hubiera evitado todo este sufrimiento, pero siempre pensando en los demás… ¿y qué recibí? – se dijo con amargura, cerró sus cansados ojos y las imágenes comenzaron a desfilar por su mente…**
******Recordo:******
Candy sentía la brisa marina pegando a su cara, en sus verdes ojos se notaba una gran tristeza pero al mismo tiempo una determinación, tuvo que hacer un gran esfuerzo al abandonar de aquella manera a Terry, después de haber conocido lo que él le había enseñado, lo bello que era hacer el amor, no lo pudo detener, no quiso hacerlo, muy en el fondo ella sabía que no tenían ningún futuro juntos, ella no podría vivir con la imagen de Susana en medio de los dos, iba a ser imposible, Candy no iba a ser feliz nunca sabiendo que haría infeliz a otra mujer, a la cual le estaría eternamente agradecida por haber salvado al hombre que más amaba en la vida, solamente con eso se quedaría, con un recuerdo…
Aquel barco continuó su travesía, se dirigían hasta Francia donde llegarían a una de las costas francesas que estaban resistiendo a la invasión de Alemania, en el Puerto El Havre, una de las costas del norte de Francia, donde había una gran ofensiva de los aliados, ahí ayudarían instalando hospitales rodantes junto con la Cruz Roja, sabía Candy que lo que vendría sería muy duro, lo que le ayudaría a no pensar en nada más, solamente en lo que tenía que hacer ahora, ayudar a las personas.
Después de varios días de travesía, llegó por fin a su lugar de trabajo, aquello era una locura, todas las personas se les veía en la cara la incertidumbre, se hablaba de varios ataques que al parecer ya tenían devastada a Verdún ya que desde febrero los alemanes estaban bombardeando aquella ciudad, mientras que también en los mares del norte, la flota británica se enfrentaban a la flota alemana, se hablaba de un gran número de bajas en ambos bandos, por lo que los hospitales estaban repletos, se necesitaba demasiada gente para ayudar a todos aquellos heridos.
Candy se incorporó a sus ocupaciones en el hospital Saint Marie, no tuvo oportunidad de descansar del viaje del barco, solamente tuvo tiempo para dejar sus pocas pertenencias en la habitación que se le había sido asignada dentro del mismo hospital, ya que eso le daba oportunidad al hospital de tener siempre la disposición de las enfermeras.
Durante las noches cuando tenía la oportunidad de descansar, miraba el cielo y a lo lejos en el horizonte se veía una estela roja, donde posiblemente se estaba dando una batalla, su cara al paso de los días mostraba un cansancio, pero en su actitud se miraba un reto y una determinación de continuar.
En aquellos momentos era cuando pensaba en Terry, en su apasionada noche de amor, se ruborizaba cada vez que pensaba en eso, y un calor inundaba su vientre haciéndola desear y extrañar a Terry.
Pero tenía que soportar todo, dar lo mejor de si, la guerra era algo horrible, por lo que tenía que concentrarse cuando llegaban cada vez más heridos y atenderlos, un error o descuido y se perdería una vida.
Cuatro meses después de haber llegado a aquel hospital, Candy se comenzaba a sentir por las mañanas muy mal, lo atribuía a que quizás era cansancio, pero no, se sentía incluso muy mareada, le achacó a que quizás no le daba tiempo de comer, pero un día en que habían llegado heridos y ver tanta sangre, tuvo un mareo muy fuerte que hizo que todo se oscureciera a su alrededor, cuando despertó se encontró acostada en una camilla y junto a ella un doctor que estaba tomando su pulso.
¿qué… qué sucedió? – preguntó Candy tocándose la cabeza
Tuvo un desmayo enfermera – le contestó el doctor
Ah si, creo que me impactó ver tantas heridas… - comenzaba a decir
Enfermera White – la interrumpió el doctor que era un hombre francés de aproximadamente 40 años - ¿es usted casada?
¿casada? – repitió ella - ¿por qué doctor?
Bueno… es que si lo es, debe ir pensando en cómo le dirá a su esposo que usted está embarazada…
Candy sintió que la sangre se le fue hasta la cabeza, donde se repetía la palabra cada vez más fuerte "¿EMBARAZADA?"
¿Está usted seguro doctor? – preguntó con temor Candy
Ya lo creo, al desmayarse la tuvimos que revisar y practicarle unos análisis por temor a alguna infección que se le hubiera contagiado por los heridos que vienen del frente – explicó
Embarazada – repitió por lo bajo
Creo enfermera que entiende lo que implica su situación…
¿Qué quiere decir? – preguntó mirándolo Candy
Que deberemos tomar medidas, no puede usted trabajar aquí por su estado
Pero ¡puedo realizar mi trabajo! – respondió Candy
No, no podrá hacerlo de la misma forma, comprenda – le habló paternalmente – en su estado está más vulnerable a contraer alguna infección contagiosa, debe tener más cuidados, además de que tiene que alimentarse mejor y cuidarse más, sobre todo por el bebé que nacerá en algunos meses
Pero es que tendría que volver a América…
No se preocupe, trataré de que la envíen a otro hospital donde pueda prestar sus servicios y no tenga riesgos de contagios o daños – le dijo el doctor – descanse, tengo que regresar, hay mucho trabajo aún.
Gracias doctor – le dijo Candy, quien después de quedarse sola, no sabía cómo asimilar la noticia – embarazada – repitió – un hijo de Terry – y sonrió mirando por la ventana donde se veía el jardín con enfermos, enfermeras cuidándolos en total paz, mientras que a kilómetros de ahí se seguía desatando una guerra que parecía no tener fin – tenemos que hacer lo que nos diga el médico – dijo hablando y se tocó su vientre – un hijo, tuyo y mío.
***Fin del Recuerdo***
**La luz del sol que entraba por la claraboya precisamente se posaba en la cara de Candy, haciendo que ésta despertara y sus recuerdos se suspendieran por el momento, se desperezó estirándose, se dio cuenta cuando se cambiaba de ropa que estaba muy flaca, los huesos se le pintaban y que decir de aquellas formas que se le habían hecho después de dar a luz, habían desaparecido.**
**Peino su pelo con trabajo, ya que debido al descuido en que lo había tenido tantos años, se había puesto seco, sin brillo, así que solamente optaba después de darle una breve cepillada amarrarlo en un rodete en su cabeza.**
**Salió a la cubierta a sentir la brisa marina, no estaba lejos de llegar a América, pronto vería la ciudad de Nueva York, durante todo su viaje la había pasado encerrada en su camarote durmiendo todo lo que podía, y salía únicamente para comer algo, en su rostro parecían comenzar a verse líneas de tranquilidad, sus mejillas comenzaban a tomar un poco de color, estaba descansando.**
**De nuevo al mirar el océano, el color de éste le recordó el color de unos ojos que no podía olvidar, eran quizás del mismo tono, un verde azulado profundo, enmarcado por largas pestañas y coronados con dos cejas bien delineadas, siempre se preguntó lo que había sucedido con él, cuando lo dejó dormido en aquel cuarto de hotel.**
* * *
**NUEVA YORK 1916…**
El día se dejó ver a través de las cortinas, lamentablemente el sol despiadado despertó de una manera no muy agradable a aquel hombre que yacía completamente desnudo, dormía entre las sabanas, su oscuro cabello despeinado le caía en su cara, se movió sin abrir sus ojos y uno de sus brazos buscaba a su lado el cuerpo calido de la mujer que amó durante toda la noche.
Abrió sus ojos sorprendido cuando su brazo no tocó a nadie, el otro lado de la cama estaba vacío, se envolvió en la sabana y comenzó a recorrer la pequeña habitación, buscó en el baño y un escalofrío le recorrió la espina dorsal, revisó el cuarto, y un dolor en el pecho sintió al no encontrar ni una sola maleta de ella ahí, nada, ni un solo artículo personal, comenzó a sentir que se volvía loco al no encontrarla, vio su ropa, cuidadosamente doblada en una silla, la tomó y comenzó a vestirse sin darse cuenta lo que hacía, un sentimiento de pérdida lo inundó, entonces una cómoda que estaba a un lado de la puerta, estaba un sobre, lo tomó con desesperación tenía escrito encima "Terry", la abrió y comenzó a leer su contenido, conforme leía en sus ojos se pintaban una y mil emociones, tristeza, amargura, enojo, pero sobre todo furia.
Terry:
Sé que anoche dije que quería permanecer a tu lado,
pero, no puedo, no puedo quedarme contigo…
no puedo hacer a un lado todo tan fácilmente como lo haces tu,
no puedo evadir la realidad de esa manera,
ni puedo hacerle daño a alguien a quien le debo tanto,
porque si no hubiera sido por ella, no estarías tu aquí
y eso es lo que más agradezco, te amo, siempre te he amado,
y por eso es que me voy, iré a la guerra,
estoy enlistada como enfermera militar,
no puedo evadir tampoco mis responsabilidades
como tu tampoco las puedes dejar a un lado,
espero que si nos llegamos a ver algún día,
sea en otras circunstancias más amables… nunca te olvidaré…
Candy White A.
Hizo bolas la carta con furia, empuñó sus manos hasta que los nudillos se pusieron blancos, se acercó al espejo del pequeño tocador que había, se miró, el golpe que tenía en una de las comisuras y en un pómulo comenzaban a verse morados, la herida de la ceja comenzaba a punzarle, pero aquel dolor físico no era nada comparado con el dolor que tenía en el alma, se miraba y se rió de sí mismo.
Eres un estúpido Granchester – le dijo a su imagen reflejada en el espejo – fue la peor de todas, cómo es posible que haya mentido al decir que me amaba, que siempre estaría a mi lado, que nunca se separaría de mí… ¡puras mentiras! gracias a ella has conocido el cielo y ahora gracias a ella también conoces el infierno… te engañó haciéndote creer que estaría a tu lado… Candy, jamás te perdonaré
En su mirada se reflejaba toda la furia y el enojo que podía ser capaz alguien que ha sido engañado y abandonado de aquella manera, sentía esa alma atormentada la ira y la amargura inundar su corazón, se sentía traicionado y engañado sobre todo, por la mujer que amaba con todo su ser, tan delgada puede ser la línea que separa el amor del odio, solo sabía que esa noche la había tenido en sus brazos, había sido de él, la había sentido entera, junto a él, la amó con todo su corazón, le bajó el cielo y le ofreció todo de él, por ella al mismo infierno hubiera bajado si se lo hubiera pedido, pero no fue suficiente.
¡Eres una mentirosa! – le gritó a la imagen que se había formado de ella en el espejo – dijiste amarme y que jamás me abandonarías y ¿qué has hecho? ¡Estúpido! – se dijo a su imagen que ahora reflejaba a un hombre derrotado, vencido
Se arregló lo mejor que pudo y salió de aquella habitación que pareciera marearlo con aquel aroma a rosas, todo aquel lugar olía a ella, a su esencia, salió como si no soportara estar más ahí.
Se detuvo en la recepción para pagar los cargos, pero el portero amablemente le dijo que todo había sido cubierto por la señorita.
Terry se sintió más furioso todavía, se sentía humillado, ella había pagado la habitación.
Salió a la calle y la claridad lo cegó de momento, además de sentirse mal moralmente, físicamente el exceso de la noche anterior comenzaba a hacer efecto, provocándole un fuerte dolor de cabeza, hacía frío, lo que provocó igualmente que la herida de su ceja le doliera más, así que levantándose el cuello de su abrigo para cubrirse, comenzó a alejarse, era un hombre que sufría, sus hombros decaídos hablaban de que ese hombre tenía un gran sufrimiento, el engaño y abandono de la mujer que amaba.
* * *
**Ninguno de los dos imaginaría nunca todo lo que había sucedido, ni en sus más locos sueños Terry sabría lo que Candy había sufrido, igualmente ella tampoco sabría lo que a él le pasaría.**
**Continuará…**
3. Capitulo 3
**LA MENTIRA**
**CAPITULO III**
**LA LLEGADA**
* * *
**NUEVA YORK, 1934…**
**El barco arribó a Nueva York a medio día, Candy se sentía completamente desorientada, la ciudad había crecido mucho desde entonces, tenía que haber sido así, ya que quince años encerrada en una penitenciaria no eran algo sencillo.**
**Caminó por las calles, dándose cuenta que había demasiadas personas pidiendo limosna, por lo que había podido enterarse que la caída de la bolsa, era que había afectado a cientos de éstas en aquella ciudad y otros lugares, aunque parecía que poco a poco iban saliendo adelante, pero se notaba que aún había muchos sin trabajo.**
**Ella trataba de pasar desapercibida, como una persona más, confundiéndose entre tantos vagabundos, ya que su apariencia, que no había tenido la prioridad de arreglar, la hacía verse así, casi una vagabunda, caminando se dio cuenta que había lugares comunitarios donde les daban comida y ropas abrigadoras, y sin darse cuenta recibió también ella unos alimentos y un abrigo para cubrirse más, ya que el frío que se sentía calaba los huesos y ella eso era ahora puro hueso.**
**Después de disfrutar aquella frugal comida que afortunadamente estaba caliente y la había disfrutado, se encaminó rumbo a las calles de Broadway, donde empezaría a buscar respuestas a sus preguntas, tenía un asunto pendiente que arreglar.**
**En la Avenida Broadway a pesar de ser aún medio día, había gran movimiento, se estaban limpiando las entradas a los teatros, limpiando las marquesinas, poniendo afiches nuevos, con nuevos rostros, caminaba mirando todo a su alrededor, buscaba un rostro, un rostro conocido ¡y lo halló!**
**En un teatro que parecía ser un poco más grande que los demás que había visto, estaba en una gran marquesina un nombre, que aún le hacía sentir calidez en su corazón "Terrence Granchester" decía aquella marquesina, luego sus verdes ojos bajaron hasta donde estaba colocado un afiche con el rostro de éste, desafortunadamente se trataba de una próxima puesta, lo miró, su corazón volvió a brincar por la emoción de volver a verlo aunque sea de esa forma, estaba más guapo, más maduro, sus ojos estaban hermosos, pensó, su cabello otrora largo, ahora estaba más corto, como lo dictaba según la moda de la época. **
**Sin saber cuánto tiempo estuvo ahí parada, observando aquel rostro que jamás había podido olvidar, no se daba cuenta que a las miradas de las demás personas que transitaban la miraban como a una pordiosera, la tarde se estaba poniendo ya, la gente comenzaba a llegar a los teatros, se vio entonces ella en aquella vorágine de gente que sin darse cuenta sólo la pasaba a traer y la empujaba, ella como pudo salió de aquellas calles, respiró tranquila cuando encontró unas bancas en un parque donde se sentó a descansar, vio con tranquilidad cómo el sol iba ocultándose.**
**Ahí estuvo hasta que cayó la noche, se levantó de la banca donde había estado descansada, preparándose para buscar donde descansar, con su pequeña maleta en mano, se enrolló su bufanda y empezó a caminar, en algunos lugares no le daban hospedaje por su apariencia, hasta que encontró en un lugar que se veía barato, ahí logró encontrar una habitación, de cualquier forma mañana tomaría un tren que la llevara hasta Chicago.**
* * *
**Candy al siguiente día despertó de mejor humor, había dormido como nunca, por primera vez no tuvo sueños que la pudieran alterar, así que aprovechó para darse un baño y lavar nuevamente su cabello, el cual parecía estar agradeciendo que se molestara en cuidarlo.**
**Hoy se iría a Chicago, se dijo mientras salía de aquel hotel barato, se encaminó hacia la estación de trenes, pero al pasar por un puesto de revistas, vio que un rostro sobresalía de éstas, era nuevamente una foto de Terry, su corazón nuevamente se ponía brincar alocado, y un impulso la hizo pensar en algo verdaderamente complicado, tomó aquella revista y la hojeó, hablaban de varias cosas de éste, pero lo que más le llamó la atención fue que había una foto de su casa.**
- **Perdón – decía nerviosa - la casa del actor Terrence Granchester ¿está muy lejos de aquí?**
- **Veo que es usted admiradora de él – le dijo con un dejo de burla el hombre – está en Nueva Jersey, claro que está un poco lejos.**
- **Le agradezco la información – dijo Candy pagó la revista y se alejó**
**Entonces comenzó a caminar hasta la parada del tren subterráneo, iría a Nueva Jersey, pero se detuvo cuando se paró frente a un escaparate de una boutique muy elegante, ahí el vidrio le devolvió una imagen poco favorecedora ¿cómo se atrevía a pensar siquiera en acercarse a Terry con esa apariencia?**
**Se alejó asustada de lo que acaba de ver, regresó el camino por donde había venido y se dirigió a la estación de trenes, parecía como si algo la persiguiera, quería escapar, no quería voltear hacia atrás, compró su boleto a Chicago, mientras esperaba a que éste anunciara la salida, se sentó, se dio cuenta que una pequeña niña de cabellos y ojos color miel la miraba, Candy la miró también, la niña sonrió, pero Candy no pudo devolverle la sonrisa, a lo que la niña la borró de su carita y se fue, no sabía lo qué había sucedido, estaba muy pensativa, en sus verdes ojos se pintó entonces una mirada confundida, de pérdida ¿dónde estaba Candy? Aquella niña de mirada alegre, que nunca le negaba aunque sea una sonrisa a alguien, se sintió mal, realmente mal de no haber podido devolver cuando menos una sonrisa.**
**Al fin su tren salió, se sentó en su asiento sin mirar a nadie más el paisaje a través de su ventana, iba pensando:**
**"¿qué es lo que había estado a punto de hacer? ¿Buscar a Terry? ¡Por Dios! En qué iba pensando ¡Tonta! Lo primero que haría Terry al verte, sería asustarse, te rechazaría completamente, ¿no te has visto en un espejo? ¿Además qué le hubieras dicho?", se miró sus manos, se observó en el vidrio de la ventanilla, que le devolvió una imagen poco agradable, por primera vez desde que había salido de aquella penitenciaria se sintió triste, recordaba la imagen que tenía de sí misma, no quedaba ninguna huella de aquella mujer… poco a poco se quedó dormida, volvió a tener sueños, sus recuerdos volvieron a desfilar por su mente.**
- Enfermera White – dijo el doctor que la había atendido durante su desmayo – he conseguido que la transfieran de aquí
- ¿Dónde me mandarán doctor? – preguntó desilusionada Candy
- A Inglaterra
- ¿Inglaterra? – repitió
- Si concretamente a Liverpool, al norte, es el único lugar que le encontré disponible, créame hice todo lo posible porque cuando menos la mandaran a Londres, pero ahí también llegan muchos heridos, así que no pude hacerlo, quizás después usted pueda pedir su cambio
- De acuerdo, si no hay otro remedio – contestó triste, aunque sabía que tampoco podía regresar a América así como estaba, no era justo para los Andrey, ni para ella misma rendirse tan fácilmente, sabía que ahora sí, la tía abuela estaría por demás a favor de que se le retirara de una vez por todas el apellido de los Andrey, pero tampoco quería ver las miradas de reprobación de Archie ni de Albert o de Annie, y qué decir de la señorita Pony o la hermana María, cómo podría explicarles cómo había sucedido todo, no, no podía regresar, además en América también estaba Terry y no quería tampoco que pensara que tenía una obligación con ella, no, tenía que salir adelante sola.
Así que se trasladó al siguiente día a Inglaterra, llegó al puerto de Dover, de ahí hizo escalas en Londres y de ahí hasta Liverpool, era una pequeña Ciudad muy al norte de Inglaterra, hacía mucho más frío, más que nada dependían de la pesca, había poca industria en aquellas épocas, ahí se presentó en el hospital al cual iba asignada, no era muy grande, había poco personal en realidad, por su estado la enviaron a la recepción, mientras daba a luz.
Respecto a su estado civil, no podía decir que se convertiría en madre soltera, en aquel lugar era casi un pecado estar sola, cuanto más decir que tendría un hijo sin padre, así que inventó que era viuda, que su esposo había muerto en batalla, aunque le hacía sentir mal la mentira que había dicho, se dio cuenta que las mujeres del lugar la apoyaban más.
Todo marchó bien, hizo buenas amigas, su trabajo lo desempeñaban con mucha diligencia, trataba muy bien a sus pacientes, y desempeñaba muy bien su trabajo, logrando con esto en poco tiempo un ascenso que le ayudó más a sus necesidades económicas, seguía viviendo en una pensión, con una señora viuda, pagaba su alojamiento a tiempo, era una persona bien recibida en la comunidad, se podría decir que estaba feliz, de no ser porque por las noches se ponía pensar en Terry, se acariciaba su vientre abultado tratando de no sentirse triste, aunque algunas lágrimas dejaba escapar de repente, pero los movimientos que sentía en su vientre, la hacían limpiárselas y volver a sonreír, ella estaba consciente que tenía que avisarle a Terry que estaba embarazada, que pronto daría a luz a un hijo de él, pero al mismo tiempo le daba temor por la reacción que él tuviera.
Nunca imaginó que Terry tenía otro sentir hacia ella, pronto transcurrieron los meses de rigor del embarazo, hasta que llegó el momento, eran ya los días en los que Candy ya no iba a trabajar, dolores muy fuertes comenzaron a sentirse, parecía que la partirían en dos.
Después de una dura labor de parto, Candy al fin daba a luz, no como ella imaginaba a un solo bebé, sino que dio a luz a dos, una niña y un niño a los cuales se escuchaba que tenían unos grandes pulmones, ya que gritaban sin cesar, ella al observar a aquellos pedacitos que había salido de sus entrañas no pudo menos que llorar de la emoción, eran preciosos, la cabecita del niño estaba cubierta por una leve pelusa rubia, la cabecita de la niña por una oscura, "quizás tendrán también el color de sus ojos", pensó Candy con emoción.
Rato después cuando se los llevaron para amamantarlos pudo observarlos mejor, eran hermosos, aún no se podía definir a quien se parecían ella creía que podrían ser idénticos a Terry, eso le pareció claro, pero estaba feliz, contenta, pensó demasiado en cómo llamarlos, no se decidía aún.
**Ahí llegaron sus recuerdos otra vez, ya que el tren hacía su arribo a la ciudad de Chicago, se sorprendió de encontrar cosas nuevas, había edificios recientemente construidos, la industria parecía querer florecer ahí, comenzó a caminar por los lugares que le parecieron familiares, caminó y caminó, solamente se detuvo para comprar algo para comer, después reanudó su marcha, sus pies la llevaron hasta donde estaba la mansión familiar de los Andrey, se encontraba en la reja de la entrada a la residencia, parecía que los problemas económicos que había notado en otros lados no habían hecho tanta mella en ellos.**
**No sabía qué hacer, hasta que un impulso la hizo decidirse, tocó el timbre, un hombre mayor, vestido elegantemente se acercó para atenderla.**
- **Perdone señora – comenzó a decir con voz solemne – pero las limosnas se dan el fin de semana.**
- **¿cómo? No, se equivoca – contestó Candy – quisiera saber si se encuentra el señor William Albert Andrey…**
- **¿El señor Andrey? Aún no llega… - contestó el hombre, mirándola raro, le parecía extraño que una mujer tan andrajosa preguntara por el señor Andrey**
- **Bueno, el señor Archibald Cornwell ¿estará?**
- **Tampoco, solamente está su esposa la señora Annie**
- **Annie – repitió Candy suavemente – ¿podría verla?**
- **No creo que la señora… - comenzaba a decir el mayordomo, mientras se giraba sobre sus pasos para irse**
- **¡Dígale que la busca Candice White Andrey! – lo interrumpió**
- **¿Perdón? – dijo asombrado – ¿Candice White Andrey? – repitió – pero ella está…**
- **¿Muerta? - dijo burlona – amigo, creo que estoy más que viva, a menos que sea un fantasma que ha vuelto de su tumba**
- **Yo… - el hombre estaba sumamente nervioso, no sabía qué hacer**
- **¡Vamos hombre dígale quien soy! – ordenó Candy, nunca le había gustado hacer eso, pero el pobre hombre la estaba desesperando**
- **Espere un momento por favor – dijo cambiando ya el tono de voz, se alejó dejando a Candy afuera, mientras se adentraba a la casa.**
**Los minutos parecían verdaderos siglos, ahí parada esperando a que Annie saliera, tantos años habían pasado desde la última vez que la había visto.**
- **Me dicen que usted pregunta por mi – escuchó una voz a sus espaldas**
- **Si… - no pudo decir más, parecía que tenía un fuerte nudo apretando su garganta, le daba la espalda todavía, parecía que no tenía fuerzas para voltear a mirarla, la emoción la tenía paralizada, hasta que lentamente volteó a mirar a Annie, a su mejor amiga, a su casi hermana.**
- **¡Por Dios! – dijo Annie cuando Candy volteó.**
**Continuará…**
**NOTITAS DE MI: Hola, espero que les esté gustando este fic, sé que quizás a muchas no les guste por la forma en que Candy está sufriendo, pero a decir verdad he tratado siempre de hacer fics diferentes, me gusta saber cómo reaccionarían los personajes en determinada situación, espero que le den una oportunidad a este fic, gracias.**
4. Capitulo 4
**LA MENTIRA **
**CAPITULO IV**
**"EL RECLAMO"**
* * *
- **¡Es increíble! Aún no puedo creerlo – decía sin cesar Archie - ¿Cómo pudo ser?**
- **Yo la veo y no lo creo… - decía sin entender nada Albert**
- **Yo sentía que me daría un infarto de la impresión por verla, jamás creí que ella volvería, después de que no supimos nada de ella durante tantos años – decía Annie limpiándose las lagrimas**
**Los tres comentaban aquel suceso, mientras en una de las confortables recamaras estaba durmiendo Candy.**
**En cuanto Annie la vio, su primera reacción fue abrazarla, la abrazó fuertemente, no podía creer que Candy estuviera ahí.**
**La hizo pasar a la casa, Candy observaba todo alrededor, no podía creer que estaba nuevamente en la residencia de los Andrey, se sentía fuera de lugar, no sabía cómo reaccionar ante tanto lujo después de tantos años de vivir en las condiciones más miserables que se puedan ver.**
- **¡No puedo creer que estés aquí Candy! – le decía efusiva Annie**
- **Yo tampoco – contestó Candy inexpresiva**
- **Candy… - dijo Annie mirándola y la abrazó comenzando a llorar - ¿dónde has estado, por qué no seguiste escribiendo?**
- **Annie yo… - Candy comenzó a hablar pero una especie de torbellino negro la comenzó a envolver, no supo que pasaba, todo se oscureció y no supo más de ella…**
**Cuando Candy había bajado del tren que la había traído de Nueva York a Chicago, se sentía terriblemente mal, le dolía mucho la cabeza, quizás sería que no se había alimentado bien últimamente, pero quizás fueran todas las impresiones que había experimentando desde que había abandonado Inglaterra como si estuviera huyendo.**
- **¡Candy! – escuchó ésta la voz de Annie a lo lejos, pero sin poderlo evitar, se dejó llevar por aquella oscuridad.**
* * *
**Rato después Annie observaba a Candy, quien estaba completamente dormida, lo que quizás fue en un principio un desmayo, se había convertido en un sueño profundo, Annie no podía creer que Candy estuviera en aquellas condiciones ¿qué había sucedido con ella, por qué venía así? Estaba casi irreconocible, de no ser por sus verdes ojos que se notaban mucho más grandes en su delgada cara. **
**Annie sintió tristeza al mirar a Candy así, no podía imaginar lo que había pasado para convertirse ni en la sombra de lo que era Candy, mientras Candy se encontraba en su recamara, Annie corrió al teléfono y llamó a Archie y a Albert, les pidió que vinieran de urgencia a casa, no les dijo el motivo, solo les dijo que era urgente, que se dieran prisa.**
- **Pero dime Annie, ¿de verdad se ve muy distinta? – preguntó Albert quien aún no había visto a Candy, ya que Annie les había dicho que estaba completamente dormida y no debían molestarla**
- **Créeme Albert, cuando yo la vi parada en la entrada, pensé que era alguna mujer que andaba pidiendo limosna, porque como ya sabes que asisto a algunas reuniones de caridad, pensé… pero jamás me imaginé ni por un momento que sería ella – dijo Annie**
- **¿Qué le habrá sucedido? – preguntaba Archie – desde aquel día que decidió irse de enfermera militar…**
- **Si, yo había recibido unas cartas de Francia, de ella, supe que la habían trasladado a Inglaterra… y desde ahí se cortó la comunicación, como si quisiera que no supiéramos de ella – dijo Albert**
- **Si lo recuerdo… - comentó Annie – jamás entendí el porque dejó de escribir, **
- **Si… y ahora está aquí, después de tantos años… - dijo Albert**
- **Subiré a verla – dijo Annie y se fue hacia la habitación de Candy**
- **¿Qué crees que haya sucedido tío? – preguntó Archie**
- **No lo sé, lo que si me imagino es que habrá pasado por cosas muy fuertes, quizás después nos pueda contar lo que le sucedió, por lo pronto es un alivio y una alegría saber que ya está en casa – dijo Albert**
- **Ya lo creo**
**Momentos después Annie bajó.**
- **Está profundamente dormida – dijo – Grace dice que debemos dejarla descansar todo lo que se pueda **
- **Grace puede tener razón. Dejémosla descansar… - dijo Albert**
- **Eso es lo que va a necesitar, mucho descanso… - comentó Annie**
- **¿Lo necesitará demasiado? – preguntó Archie**
- **Ya lo creo, Archie, si tu la hubieras visto… - los ojos de Annie se volvieron a llenar de lágrimas – está muy mal, físicamente… su cara… está demacrada, tiene unas profundas ojeras… su cabello está sin vida… su piel demasiado pálida – la describía – pero lo que más me impactó fueron sus ojos, reflejaban todo el dolor y sufrimiento que puedes encontrar en una persona**
- **Candy ¿qué es lo que te sucedió? – dijo Albert mirando al jardín**
**Un silencio acompañó a las palabras de Albert, no podían imaginar todo lo que le había sucedido a Candy.**
* * *
**Al siguiente día**
- **Buenos días Grace – saludó Albert a aquella mujer, estaba al servicio de ellos desde hacía muchos años, era una mujer mayor de casi sesenta años de edad, había llegado a atender a Annie cuando ésta resultó embarazada meses después de que se casara con Archie, después fue la nana de sus hijos Alistear, Archie y William, a los tres los había cuidado muy bien, además de que esta mujer sentía un cariño genuino por los integrantes de la familia Andrey quien la consideraban como de la familia, Albert le había tomado mucho cariño**
- **Buenos días Albert – lo saludó también sonriendo, era una mujer de cabellos blancos, robusta, de cara amable, ojos verdes, parecía haber sido muy bella en su juventud, ahora vestía adustamente, como debía vestirse una nana, eso decía ella en son de broma**
- **Grace, quería preguntarte ¿cómo está nuestra huésped? – dijo Albert**
- **Hace unos momentos fui a verla, duerme como un bebé…**
- **¿Aún sigue dormida?**
- **Si, debemos dejarla descansar, su alma está muy agotada, no te preocupes por ella, yo la cuidaré, verás que se pondrá bien – dijo sonriendo Grace – no te preocupes, ve a trabajar…**
- **Me siento más tranquilo Grace, de saber que estará en tus manos – dijo Albert, le dio un beso en la frente y se fue.**
* * *
**Candy dormía, pero seguía teniendo sus sueños, cómo si quisiera querer seguir aferrada a un pasado completamente feliz.**
_Fue un momento glorioso, tener en sus brazos a dos pedacitos de su ser, quienes conforme iban creciendo, iban demandando más y más atención por parte de su madre, Candy estaba feliz, no importaba que lloraran, no importaba lo difícil que era para ella cuidarlos, lo único que realmente le importaba es que eran suyos y que ahora ya no estaría nunca más sola, le encantaba pasar el mayor tiempo con sus dos pequeños, al niño lo llamó Kyle, un nombre escocés y a la niña la llamó Dana (que en celta significa Madre de los dioses), ella tenía su cabello oscuro y descubrió que tenía sus ojos azules, del mismo azul que su padre, Kyle tenía su cabello castaño un poco más claro que el de su hermana y sus ojos eran verdes como los de ella, pero para más placer de Candy, los dos iban teniendo los rasgos del padre, eran los bebés más hermosos que jamás había visto._
**Hasta ahí terminaron por el momento sus recuerdos, Candy había despertado, de momento no entendía donde estaba, observó todo a su alrededor, las cortinas estaban corridas, aunque se veía una línea de luz debajo de éstas, se levantó un poco mareada al baño, vio cuán diferente era aquel lugar a la oscura y húmeda celda que había compartido con tres reclusas más, que diferente era todo ahí, olía a rosas, las vio, un jarrón con rosas blancas estaba al lado de su cama, eran tan bellas, pensó, y con tristeza recordó a las "dulces Candys" y recordó un añejo rostro "Anthony", dijo con un suspiro.**
**Se volvió a acostar, estaba mirando al techo cuando escuchó que se abría lentamente la puerta de su habitación, volteó a mirar y grande fue su sorpresa al mirar un rostro de un niño de aproximadamente diez años, que la miraba con curiosidad. Candy no sabía de quién se trataba.**
- **Hola – dijo ella – pasa – lo invitó, el niño se acercó tímidamente, Candy enfocó sus ojos y lo observó, tenía los ojos azules tan grandes que parecían invadir su pequeño rostro, su cabello era oscuro, le recordó a Annie - ¿quién eres?**
- **Me llamo William Cornwell – dijo el pequeño**
- **¿William Cornwell? – preguntó Candy con curiosidad**
- **Si ¿y tú? – preguntó el chico**
- **Me llamo Candy ¿Quiénes son tus padres? – preguntó**
- **Mi papá se llama Archie y mi mamá se llama Annie**
- **Ah, ya entiendo – dijo Candy y lo miró con nostalgia – eres hijo de Annie – dijo quebrándose su voz, mientras en los verdes ojos se comenzaban a ver las señales de unas lágrimas**
- **¡Oh no llores! ¡perdón si te molesté! – dijo apenado el niño**
- **¡Muchachito travieso, así que aquí estás! – se escuchó la voz de una mujer mayor de cabellos blancos - ¡anda vamos afuera, no debes molestar a la señora Candy!**
- **¡Oh no déjelo, no molesta! – contestó Candy limpiándose las lágrimas, pero ya el niño había salido de la habitación y Grace cerró la puerta tras de él, venía ella con una bandeja con comida**
- **No se apure, es hora de su comida, además William sabe que es la hora en que también debe hacer sus deberes – dijo Grace sonriendo – ande, coma**
- **Gra… gracias – dijo mientras las lagrimas caían por sus mejillas**
- **Pero ¿Por qué llora? – le dijo tiernamente Grace**
- **No lo sé… me siento tan… no había recibido atenciones desde hace tiempo**
- **Vamos, no debe llorar ni ponerse así, desde ahora recibirá muchos cuidados para recuperarse, lo que debe usted hacer es descansar, - decía con suavidad – debe alimentarse bien, está usted muy delgada… pero eso lo remediaremos, ande coma**
- **De acuerdo… - dijo Candy y se limpió las lágrimas y esbozó una sonrisa**
- **¡Bien! No hay duda, es usted más bonita cuando ríe que cuando llora… - Candy la volteó a mirar cuando dijo aquella frase, sintió que habían pasado siglos desde la última vez que la escuchó – bueno creo que es hora de presentarme al fin, mi nombre es Grace y soy… la nana de todos – sonrió **
- **Mucho gusto Grace, yo soy…**
- **Lo sé, usted es Candice White Andrey, una Andrey, hija adoptiva del señor Albert – contestó Grace**
- **¿Cómo lo sabe? – preguntó curiosa**
- **El señor Albert me lo dijo, además de que esos ojos, los reconocería en cualquier parte… ¡si! Hay un cuadro de usted en la biblioteca – dijo cuando Candy la miró sin entender**
- **¿Un cuadro mío?**
- **Si el señor lo mandó a hacer hace ya varios años, y cuando lo mira, sus ojos se llenan de tristeza… pero niña, debes comer más, debes alimentarte mejor, para que puedas recuperarte… son órdenes del doctor**
- **¿Doctor?**
- **Si, parece ser que te diagnosticó una anemia, por falta de alimentos, así que mi deber es hacer que te recuperes… anda vamos, come más – Candy no tenía fuerzas para luchar contra aquella mujer que parecía decidida a hacer que se comiera toda la sopa que le había traído, a Candy se le hacía muy difícil comer más, se había acostumbrado a comidas muy frugales en la prisión, pero ahora, sentir el calor de aquella sopa, y de la relajación que le producía ésta al comerla, y además de que alguien se estaba preocupando por ella, quiso agradecer ese gesto tratando de comerse todo – bien cariño, todo está bien**
- **Me siento tan cansada – decía Candy como si se sumergiera en un sopor**
- **Descansa mi niña – dijo con ternura Grace, acomodando su almohada en su cabeza – todo estará bien**
**Candy se quedó profundamente dormida, ni cuenta se dio cuando Grace abandonaba la habitación, pero su sueño fue tan profundo que no soñó nada, parecía que hasta su mente descansara…**
**No se dio cuenta que mientras ella dormía la visitaba Albert, quien se quedaba un gran tiempo sentado en un sillón cercano a su cama.**
- **"Candy ¿qué te sucedió?..." – pensaba mientras la observaba y en sus ojos azules se pintaba una tristeza**
* * *
**Tres días después, Candy pudo levantarse sin marearse de la cama, Grace ya le había traído el almuerzo, el cual había devorado, se sentía más animada, en su rostro se comenzaba a ver los resultados del descanso y la buena alimentación que estaba recibiendo.**
- **hola Candy – dijo Annie cuando entró a su habitación después de almorzar**
- **¡Annie hola! – dijo Candy alegre**
- **Veo que te encuentras mejor… - dijo Annie**
- **Si, gracias por todo…**
- **Pero Candy… no tienes por qué dar las gracias – le tomó sus manos – eres como mi hermana…**
- **Hola – dijo de pronto Candy haciéndose a un lado, Annie extrañada volteó a mirar hacia donde Candy miraba, sonrió, ya que en el quicio de la puerta se encontraba asomada la carita de su hijo William – pasa – lo invitó Candy**
- **Pero ¿qué haces aquí pequeño travieso? – dijo Annie**
- **Te venía siguiendo mamá – contestó William**
- **Ven, te presentaré a alguien a quien quiero mucho – le dijo Annie al niño **
- **Hola señora Candy – le saludó el niño a Candy**
- **Hola – contestó Candy el saludo sonriendo**
- **¡Ah ya se conocían! – dijo Annie alzando las cejas**
- **Si, ya hemos tenido el gusto de conocernos ¿verdad caballero? – dijo Candy agachándose de manera de quedar a la altura de William**
- **Si – contestó el niño**
**Annie notó que Candy miraba a su hijo con una mirada llena de tristeza y nostalgia, parecía estar aguantando las lágrimas, pero también notó que en sus labios había una sonrisa.**
- **De acuerdo amor – dijo Annie tomando al niño de los hombros – despídete de la señora Candy, ya sabes que tienes que hacer tus deberes**
- **Si mamá – dijo el niño – hasta luego señora Candy – se despidió**
- **Hasta luego… - dijo Candy siguiendo con la mirada al niño hasta que desapareció**
- **Bien amiga – dijo Annie después de que el niño saliera – debemos arreglarte, hoy en la noche al fin cenarás con todos nosotros – Candy solo escuchaba – conocerás a mis otros hijos**
- **¿Cuántos hijos tienes? – preguntó curiosa**
- **aparte de William, dos más, Alistair de 14 años, Archie de 12 y William tiene 10 – le contó**
- **Cuéntame lo que ha sucedido en todo este tiempo, de qué me he perdido – le pidió Candy**
- **Pues verás… Archie terminó su carrera de Economía, un año después de recibirse, nos casamos, pero inexplicablemente no me podía embarazar, estuve muy deprimida durante un tiempo, Archie fue muy paciente conmigo, hasta que tuve a Alistair, y después a Archie y William, he sido muy feliz, Archie ahora trabaja con Albert en las corporaciones de los Andrey…**
- **Cuéntame de Albert…**
- **Albert, bueno, ya sabes, como patriarca de los Andrey es el presidente de la corporación, se encargan de inversiones, además de dar servicio a terceros para importar y exportar sus productos…**
- **¿Se casó? **
- **No – Annie la miró – nunca se ha casado, ha tenido relaciones con diferentes mujeres que han tratado de cazarlo, pero no ha encontrado o no ha querido casarse nunca… pero aquí entre nos, te diré que hay una persona que está perdidamente enamorada de él…**
- **Ah si ¿de quién se trata? – preguntó Candy**
- **De Patty O'Brien**
- **¿Patty O'Brien? ¿Patty la del colegio? ¿nuestra amiga Patty? – preguntó de nuevo**
- **Si, la misma…**
- **Pero ¿cómo ha sido?**
- **Verás, ella trabaja también en la corporación, se convirtió en la asistente de Albert, realmente es muy buena, creo que yo me volvería loca con tantas citas programadas y ese tipo de cosas, pero Patty realmente me sorprende ese cerebro que tiene… **
- **Vaya, es una sorpresa para mi – comentó Candy – y en el Hogar de Pony cómo están – preguntó con voz suave**
- **Están muy bien, gracias a todas las contribuciones que se han hecho por parte de los Andrey, así como por las reuniones de caridad que presido, precisamente para recaudar fondos, se agrandó el lugar, tienen más profesores, ahora se han instalado talleres para poder enseñarles a los chicos una actividad y puedan defenderse en el futuro, tienen una pequeña enfermería además, el edificio se remodeló… lo único triste es que… la señorita Pony murió hace cuatro años…**
- **¡Cuatro años! – dijo con dolor Candy**
- **Si, se quedó al frente la hermana María, quien ha sido muy fuerte en todo.**
- **Siempre lo fue, la admiro mucho – comentó Candy**
**Les habían traído té y algunas pastas y pequeños sándwiches, los cuales sin darse cuenta comieron mientras continuaban en la plática.**
- **Oye ¿y qué sucedió con Elisa y Niel? – preguntó Candy de nuevo**
- **Elisa se casó con un aristócrata francés, quien la llevó "al paraíso" como ella literalmente dijo, a Paris donde vive actualmente, tiene tres hijas, iguales a ella – dijo en actitud de complicidad, y las dos se echaron a reír**
- **¿Y Niel? **
- **Niel, después de morir su padre y dejarle la parte de herencia que le correspondía, se dedicó a dilapidarla, pero antes de que llevara a la ruina a los Leegan, Albert tomó cartas en el asunto y le dio un ultimátum: o trabajaba o lo desterraría de la familia y se rascaría con sus uñas – se comenzaron a reír nuevamente las dos – así que – continuó Annie después de dejar de reírse – está en una de las oficinas de Albert, encargándose de las relaciones públicas, pero fíjate que ha cambiado mucho… aunque no se ha casado todavía.**
**Candy se quedó en silencio, como si reflexionara todo lo que Annie acababa de contarle, se dio cuenta que había pasado toda una vida después de su partida a Francia como enfermera militar, cuántas cosas habían sucedido, enterarse de la muerte de la señorita Pony, una de las mujeres que la habían criado, se sintió triste, por no haber estado ahí, no supo en qué parte de su vida se había enterrado, aún tenía algo pendiente con Albert, una duda atroz que la seguía carcomiendo.**
- **Te has quedado muy callada – dijo suavemente Annie interrumpiendo sus pensamientos**
- **Perdón, pero, enterarme de tantas cosas…**
- **Te entiendo… **
**De repente la puerta se abrió y dos chicos entraron a la estancia, un muchacho parecido a Archie y otro parecido a Stear, se acercaron a Annie, Candy sintió como si hubiera regresado al pasado y estuvieran ante sus ojos sus dos caballeros.**
**Estos dos chicos le dieron un beso a Annie.**
- **hola mamá – dijeron los dos al mismo tiempo**
- **hola hijos – contestó Annie – miren les presento a una muy querida amiga, quien es como mi hermana, Candy, él es Alistear – dijo señalando al parecido a Archie – y éste es Archie – quien era parecido a Stear, era como si se invirtieran los nombres nada más – ella es Candice White Andrey **
- **Mucho gusto – dijo Alistear**
- **Tanto gusto – dijo Archie**
- **Es un gusto enorme conocerlos – dijo Candy, de nuevo Annie notó la mirada que había visto en ella cuando veía a William – eres idéntico a tu padre… y tu a tu tío**
- **Es lo que nos dicen – contestó Alistear – además de que hemos visto los retratos de ellos y sí tienen mucha razón.**
- **¿Usted es familiar de nuestro tío Albert? – preguntó Archie**
- **Si, que no han visto el cuadro que está en la biblioteca, junto al de sus tíos – dijo Annie**
- **¿Es usted la del cuadro? – preguntó Alistear**
**Candy volteó a mirar con interrogación a Annie, ya que no entendía a que cuadro se referían los chicos, aunque ya Grace le había comentado sobre éste.**
- **Es un cuadro que debo enseñarte Candy, Albert lo mandó hacer hace unos años atrás – explicó Annie**
**Los chicos se despidieron de su madre y de Candy un momento después, dijeron que harían sus deberes escolares en sus habitaciones, así que se despidieron de ellas, Candy se quedó observando la puerta que se cerró detrás de ellos, a lo que Annie notó y le preguntó:**
- **Candy ¿te sucede algo? **
- **¿Eh? No, no pasa nada – dijo turbada**
- **Es que no es la primera vez que noto una mirada extraña en ti – dijo Annie**
- **No entiendo a qué te refiere – dijo bajando sus ojos**
- **¿Qué es lo que no quieres contar todavía Candy? – preguntó Annie – somos amigas, puedes confiar en mí…**
- **No te preocupes Annie, dentro de poco sabrás todo… - dijo Candy.**
* * *
**Por la noche, todo estaba listo para la cena, solamente las dos damas estaban esperando a Albert y a Archie para cenar, los dos hijos mayores de Annie ya estaban ahí, solamente el pequeño William no, porque él ya había tomado su cena antes y como debería ser, ya estaba dormido en su recamara.**
**Llegaron Archie y Albert, quienes al ver al fin de pie a Candy, con un vestido prestado por Annie, al cual se le tuvo que meter demasiado porque le quedaba muy flojo, Annie pidió a su mucama que la peinara, por lo que Candy se veía muy linda.**
- **¡Candy! – dijo Archie adelantándose a abrazarla - ¡al fin, cuánto tiempo!**
- **Archie – dijo Candy – no has cambiado mucho – y así era, Archie se notaba casi igual de joven, parecía que los años no pasaran por él, su cabello claro había sido recortado como dictaba la época, estaba igual de delgado, era muy apuesto.**
- **¿Y para mí no hay abrazo? – dijo entonces Albert**
- **¡Albert! – dijo Candy y lo abrazó**
**Fue algo distinto, miles de emociones se despertaron en Candy, parecía como si el tiempo volviera hacia atrás y fuera de nuevo una niña, sintió como los brazos de Albert le daban aquel consuelo que siempre encontraba cuando tenía problemas, Albert tampoco había cambiado mucho, tenía ahora una barba y bigotes en forma de candado, su rubio cabello estaba peinado hacia atrás con gomina, dándole un aspecto muy atrayente para todas las mujeres, que lo perseguían como las abejas a la miel.**
- **Hola espero no haber tardado demasiado – se escuchó una voz femenina y voltearon a mirar de quién se trataba.**
- **¡Patty! – dijo Candy soltándose de Albert y limpiándose las lagrimas, la abrazó igual – Patty ¡tantos años!**
- **¡Candy! ¡qué emoción tenerte aquí con nosotros! – dijo Patty abrazándola también y en sus ojos marrones se mostró una señal de lágrimas.**
**Después de las lágrimas vertidas en aquel encuentro, todos pasaron al comedor, los hijos de Archie y Annie, no entendían mucho sobre aquellos detalles, solamente se dieron cuenta que la señora Candy era muy querida por todos los mayores, tanto a Alistear como a Archie les simpatizó enormemente Candy, quien tenía un áurea de nostalgia muy atrayente, los dos chicos pidieron ser sentados a los lados de ella.**
**La cena fue un rato muy agradable, pero cuándo a Patty se le ocurrió preguntar donde había estado, un silencio sepulcral se dejó sentir en la mesa, Candy no contestaba, la sonrisa se le había borrado y pareció que se encontraba perdida en sus pensamientos.**
**Lo que Albert aprovechó y cambió el tema, aunque ninguno de ellos tenía idea de donde había pasado Candy todos aquellos años, ya llegaría el momento en que Candy hablaría.**
**Cuando la cena terminó todos se encaminaron a la biblioteca para seguir charlando, hasta ahí llegó la compañía de Alistear y Archie, quienes tenían que retirarse a descansar, ya que mañana irían a sus clases, Candy les agradeció su compañía y prometió charlar con ellos después.**
**Quedaron en aquella habitación Albert, Archie, Annie y Patty, claro está que Candy también, a pesar de que estaban charlando de cosas divertidas, se sentía una tensión, ya que Candy estaba muy callada, escuchando todas las anécdotas.**
- **Candy estás muy callada – dijo Albert y los demás se callaron entonces, esperando la respuesta de ésta.**
- **Si, tienes razón, he estado muy callada… - contestó Candy **
- **¿Pero por qué Candy? – terció Annie**
- **Creo que es momento Albert, de que me expliques algo que me ha martillado todo este tiempo que he estado separada de aquí – dijo Candy muy seria**
- **No entiendo a qué te refieres Candy – contestó Albert**
- **¿No entiendes? – dijo Candy con tono acusador - ¿por qué me diste la espalda Albert?**
**Un silencio lleno de tensión se dejó sentir en la habitación, Annie, Archie y Patty voltearon a mirar a Albert, esperando la respuesta de éste.**
**¿Cuál es la causa a la que Candy se refiere al decir que le dio la espalda? ¿Qué fue lo que Albert hizo para aumentar el sufrimiento por el qué pasó Candy?**
**Continuará…**
5. Capitulo 5
**LA MENTIRA **
**CAPITULO V**
**"Confesiones"**
* * *
- **No entiendo a qué te refieres Candy – contestaba Albert**
- **¿No entiendes o no recuerdas nada? – dijo Candy comenzando a enojarse, no le importaba si los demás escuchaban**
- **Perdón, creo que debo irme – dijo Patty levantándose**
- **¡OH no Patty! – dijo Candy - ¡debes quedarte y escuchar lo que tengo que decir!**
- **Candy ¿qué sucede? – dijo Annie – ¿por qué estás así?**
- **Si Candy ¿qué ocurre? – habló Archie**
- **¿Hay algo de lo que me estás acusando Candy? – dijo Albert - ¡vamos dímelo! Así sabré cómo defenderme… no me condenes sin dejar que me defienda Candy**
- **¡Te escribí pidiéndote ayuda! ¿y qué hiciste? ¡me diste la espalda! **
**Todos los presentes voltearon a mirarla sorprendidos, Albert la miró con asombro, no entendía de qué estaba hablando.**
- **no te entiendo Candy ¿a qué ayuda te refieres? – dijo Albert**
- **¡Vamos Albert no te hagas el occiso ahora! – contestaba Candy molesta**
- **¡Es que en verdad, no sé de qué me estás hablando! – Albert la miraba con ansiedad, con ruego a que le creyera - ¡Jamás recibí carta tuya! – Candy lo miró, trataba de ver más allá**
**Todos estaban consternados por aquel reclamo, quizás si una bomba hubiera caído a los pies de ellos en esos momentos, no la hubieran sentido más que aquellas confesiones de Candy.**
- **Candy de verdad, créeme, jamás recibí carta tuya – dijo Albert acercándose a ella, se arrodilló hasta quedar a la altura de su rostro de ella, Candy no levantaba el rostro que tenía tapado por sus manos, mientras corrían las lágrimas por sus dedos – nunca recibí nada, y si la hubiera recibido, jamás, ¡escúchame bien! ¡jamás hubiera te hubiera dado la espalda! Te hubiera evitado tanto dolor y sufrimiento… quien te envió esa respuesta, haciéndote creer que era mía, fue alguien que sabía te haría mucho daño… yo jamás, jamás te haría daño Candy.**
- **¡Albert! – Dijo Candy saltando entonces a sus brazos - ¡Albert han sido tantos sufrimientos!**
- **Lo sé pequeña, pero no te preocupes, haremos lo imposible por ayudarte ahora… - decía Albert consolándola – dime – la habló suavemente - ¿qué fue lo que te sucedió? ¿por qué estás tan dañada? **
**Candy se levantó del sillón donde había estado sentada, se había separado de los brazos que la estaban consolando hacia unos momentos, se dirigió a cerca de la chimenea, en sus hombros se notaba toda la tensión y el sufrimiento que había sentido durante todos esos años, los cuatro la observaban con expectación, pero ella calmadamente comenzó a observar los cuadros que se encontraban en aquella habitación.**
- **Anthony – dijo – Si no hubieras muerto, quién sabe que hubiera pasado entre nosotros… quizás la vida nos hubiera mantenido juntos… - se volteó al siguiente cuadro – Stear… mi mejor amigo, mi caballero… cuánta falta me hace escuchar tus ánimos… - se volteó al siguiente – Candy, la pequeña Candy – dijo con ironía mirando el cuadro donde estaba ella, la reflejaba como era antes, cuando era más pequeña, la Candy de ahora no era ni la sombra de la de antaño – quién iba a imaginar que te condenarían a pasar por tantas cosas ¿por qué? ¿Acaso merecías recibir tantas injusticias, merecías no ser feliz? - una lágrima resbaló por su mejilla – saben… - dijo sin voltear – creo que no merecía todo lo que he pasado…**
- **Candy… – habló Annie**
- **Ni siquiera se imaginan lo que me sucedió a lo largo de estos años… – volteó a mirarlos con un dolor en sus verdes ojos.**
**Un silencio fue la respuesta de ellos que esperaban con ansias desesperantes lo que ella diría.**
- **Estuve en la… cárcel – dijo con amargura**
- **¡por Dios! – dijo Annie con sus ojos llenándose de lágrimas**
**Albert no habló, igual Archie y Patty, el impacto de aquella respuesta había sido muy fuerte, nunca imaginaron siquiera que Candy dijera eso.**
- **Estuve en la cárcel por un crimen que no cometí… todo mundo creyó en mi culpabilidad y me condenaron… perdí todo… la libertad… el respeto… y a mis… hijos – dijo sin poder detener sus lágrimas**
**Aquello era demasiado, al escuchar la palabra "hijos" todos sus amigos abrieron los ojos con asombro y escuchaban con un nudo en la garganta.**
- **Si… mis hijos… - continuó – una niña y un niño… gemelos saben, - dijo sonriendo tristemente con la huella de sus lagrimas en las mejillas – tenían dos años cuando se me condenó injustamente por la muerte de un hombre… **
- **¿Có… cómo sucedió? – preguntó Albert turbado sin poder creer lo que Candy contaba **
- **no lo sé aún… - contestó Candy – aunque he pensado que quizás todo fue diabólicamente planeado… planeado por alguien…**
- **¿De quién se trata? – preguntó ahora Archie**
- **Verán… fue una casualidad ¡Una maldita casualidad! – dijo con furia, sorprendiendo a los demás por aquel arrebato, nunca pensaron ver a Candy hablar así – ella llegó a Liverpool acompañada de su madre… parece ser que la familia por parte de su padre, eran de aquel lugar… no lo sé, no sé qué hacían por allá… tan lejos… visitaron a una tía que se encontraba convaleciente en el hospital donde yo trabajaba… - se quedó callada, mientras por su mente desfilaban recuerdos anteriores que no les contó… no dijo cómo había encontrado a Terry antes de embarcarse, ni lo que había sucedido con él.**
**_"Ahí fue donde volví a verla… fue doloroso para mí enterarme por ella, que se había casado con… él – parecía costarle mucho decir su nombre - … que eran muy felices, pensé que había yo tenido mucha suerte porque él no había podido acompañarlas, sino, nos hubieramos encontrado otra vez… lo hubiera visto de nuevo, no sé qué podría haber sucedido entonces…" - pensó sonriendo amargamente, los demás la observaban sin saber aquellos pensamientos de ella - durante el tiempo que estuvo ahí – continuó su relato - se comportó como una persona muy amable, incluso creí que podríamos ser amigas… ¡estúpida de mí! - había dejado de derramar lágrimas – pero entonces sucedió… aquella desgracia… me acusaron de homicidio – continuó después de limpiarse su rostro – un paciente del cual yo me hacía cargo… tenía cáncer en el pulmón… pero estaba controlado a base de medicamentos… se le suministraba cierta cantidad de morfina para atenuar sus dolores cuando eran muy intensos… - hizo una pausa - … una noche después de terminar mis labores y terminar la revisión antes de irme, lo había yo visitado… todo estaba bien… en la mañana me avisaron de lo sucedido… cuando una de las enfermeras que se ocupaba de la ronda nocturna lo visitó… ya estaba muerto… revisaron su expediente y tenía anotada una dosis de morfina para que se le administrara en caso de dolor… pero al parecer, alguien… no supe nada… alteró los datos en el expediente… ¡no lo sé! Le habían aplicado más morfina de lo que yo recuerdo haber anotado, lo que le ocasionó la muerte a este paciente… entonces se me halló culpable, ya que yo era responsable de aquel paciente, además de que la letra que estaba anotada ahí en la alteración, supuestamente era la mía… haciéndome ver culpable de lo que estaba anotado… nadie creyó en mi inocencia, fui acusada de homicidio… además la autopsia dictaminó que, efectivamente había un índice más alto de lo que yo había anotado…_**
**Se escuchó entonces un relámpago que iluminó la noche que se veía por las ventanas, mientras Candy iba relatando la odisea vivida a partir de que llegó a Inglaterra, a Liverpool, el crimen que no cometió… cómo la acusaron injustamente condenándola a pagar por otro… conforme su plática iba avanzando, Annie y Patty comenzaron a dejar correr por sus rostros lágrimas, lágrimas de tristeza por lo que estaban escuchando, Candy no lloraba al relatar su pasado, era cómo si estuviese hablando de alguien que no conocían, Archie tenía una mirada dura, imaginando todo lo que había vivido Candy, Albert parado escuchaba atentamente, mientras apretaba fuertemente sus puños.**
- **_Fui condenada a purgar una peña por un crimen no cometido, a pesar de todo se me responsabilizó por aquello… ya que se creyó en un testimonio, que jamás lo pensé… que ella… hablara de esa manera – los miró y en su rostro había una mascara de ironía – si, aquella mujer atestiguó que "cómo yo veía sufrir demasiado a ese hombre, pues encontré la manera de que no sufriera más aquellos intensos dolores…" ¿Se imaginan? ¿hasta qué grado pudo hacer daño aquel testimonio? ¡Y el jurado creyó! ¡creyó en esa sarta de mentiras! – dijo apretando sus puños – se me condenó a 30 años de cárcel… y se me retiró la licencia para ejercer la enfermería… - hizo una pausa y un momento después continuó - pero gracias a mi buen comportamiento y de que el abogado que se ocupó de mi defensa, parece que sí creía en mi inocencia, siguió investigando mi caso, fue entonces que gracias a él, se demostró que no era completamente culpable, aún habiendo anotado yo las indicaciones, porque yo no había aplicado la inyección, además no me encontraba en aquellas horas en qué murió el hombre, ya que yo había salido dos horas antes… detalles insignificantes quizás, pero que se dejaron pasar en el momento del juicio… así que mientras se llevaba a cabo todo nuevamente y apelación tras apelación, pasaron quince años… ¡quince largos años de mi vida! – Candy calló y al fin logró sacar aquellas lágrimas que había estado conteniendo a lo largo de su relato_**
- **¿Qué sucedió después? – preguntó un momento después Albert**
- **Fue cuando te escribí y te pedí ayuda, no sabía que iba a pasar con mis hijos, esperando a que fueras a Liverpool, pudieras sacarme de ahí… o ver por mis niños – dijo quebrándosele la voz - ¿y qué pasó? Recibí una carta tuya, diciéndome que había cometido un pecado en primera, por haber tenido hijos sin padre… segundo, que pagara por mis errores, tercero, que para que el escándalo no llegara a los Andrey, me retirabas definitivamente el apellido de la familia – dijo dejándose caer en el mismo sillón donde había estado sentada momentos antes, comenzando a llorar**
- **Nunca recibí carta tuya Candy – dijo Albert – de haberla recibido, jamás te hubiera dejado sola en todo aquel problema, jamás te hubiera juzgado por tus errores, jamás te hubiera retirado nuestro apellido… siempre serás una Andrey… hubiera ido en ese mismo momento en que hubiera tenido la carta en mis manos…**
- **Jamás te hubiéramos abandonado Candy – habló Archie – sabes que somos tu familia, nunca te hubiéramos dejado sola…**
- **Es verdad Candy – dijo Patty también – has sido como una hermana para todos nosotros – Annie también se acercó a ella arrodillándose junto a ella y le tomó sus manos, tratando de darle consuelo. **
- **Candy – habló Albert, todos lo voltearon a ver - ¿qué sucedió con tus hijos, dónde están? – Albert estaba de espaldas a ellos mirando hacia fuera por la ventana, estaba oscuro afuera, mientras a lo lejos se miraba como los relámpagos se iban alejando, pero continuaba lloviendo, los demás miraron a Candy con esa interrogante también**
- **Mis hijos – su voz volvió a quebrarse – no supe a ciencia cierta que sucedió… una trabajadora social me dijo que habían sido dados en adopción y que no me podían decir quién los había adoptado, eran reglas, pero… ¡eran mis hijos! – se limpió sus lágrimas – por fortuna una mujer que estaba en la enfermería se apiadó de mi y averiguó datos sobre mis hijos y pudo decirme quien los había adoptado… me dijo que… esa mujer en la cual yo había confiado… la que me hundió con su testimonio… la misma… se los había llevado… - se tapó su rostro con sus manos y comenzó a llorar**
- **¿Y no sabes de ellos entonces? ¿quién era esa mujer Candy? – volvió a preguntar Albert, su voz se escuchaba dura**
**Una tensión se sentía nuevamente en aquella habitación, todos esperaban la respuesta de Candy.**
- **Es… Susana Marlowe… - contestó al fin.**
* * *
**UN MES DESPUÉS…**
**La calma parecía volver al alma de Candy, poco a poco iba recuperando su tranquilidad, gracias a los cuidados de la nana Grace, se iba recuperando, había ganado peso, ya no era la mujer escuálida que había llegado un día a la casa en Chicago, ahora parecía que el aire de Lakewood le estaba haciendo más provecho, ya que sus mejillas se comenzaban a ver otro color, su piel otrora pálida ahora tenía otro tono más sano, en sus ojos a pesar de mirarse de repente alegres, parecían volver siempre a su estado de tristeza y nostalgia.**
- **Grace, con sus cuidados y su comida hará que yo parezca después un pequeño globo – dijo riendo Candy**
- **No diga eso – le contestó Grace – usted necesita recuperarse y obtener las fuerzas necesarias para luchar, así como está usted ahora, fácilmente la vencerán, tenga valor – le dijo**
- **Tiene usted razón… - contestó Candy**
**Aquel día estaba por demás llena de excitación, ya que Albert le había avisado que iría para allá con noticias, ya que todo ese tiempo, desde que ella regresó a la casa del portal de las rosas, estuvo haciendo investigaciones, sobre lo que había ocurrido con Susana Marlowe.**
**Era casi medio día cuando llegó Albert, Candy lo recibió con alegría, era tanta su desesperación por saber qué noticias traía que no se dio cuenta que en Albert había una mirada de tristeza.**
- **Anda Albert dime, que noticias me traes – decía mirándolo con ansias Candy**
- **Verás Candy, personalmente me di a la tarea de buscar noticias de Susana Marlowe… - hizo una pausa**
- ** ¡Vamos Albert! ¡no me tengas en esta posición de desesperación! – le urgió Candy**
- **Está bien pequeña, no te desesperes… quiero que me prometas que tomarás las cosas con calma… prométemelo – le pidió Albert**
- **¿por qué, qué sucedió con mis hijos? – le preguntó Candy con temor a punto de llorar**
- **Prometiste estar bien – le repitió **
- **Está bien, pero debes comprender que me siento desesperada, quince años sin saber de ellos no es para menos**
- **Bueno… contraté los servicios de un detective muy bueno en Nueva York, no escatimé en gastos para que averiguara todo… - sacó unos documentos que traía en un gran fólder – este fue el resultado de su investigación – lo abrió comenzando a sacar datos y algunas fotos – según lo que el detective averiguó es que sigue casada con Terrence Granchester, el actor – la volteó a mirar, pero ella tenía una mirada inexpresiva - … tienen dos hijos, una jovencita y un muchacho que al parecer éste se encuentra estudiando en Eton, Inglaterra, en un internado para aristócratas, donde pasa al parecer gran parte de su vida, ya que no se hallan incluso en ninguna de las revistas de espectáculos fotos de éste… - Candy escuchaba atentamente – solamente de la chica, quien vive en Nueva York con ellos, parece ser que está estudiando en un instituto para señoritas… por lo que este detective pudo averiguar es que la madre de estos chicos es muy dominante con ellos, además de que tienen grandes problemas con su esposo, el actor – estaba leyendo algunos párrafos de la investigación – ya que se rumora, porque siempre han sido rumores de que el señor Granchester – decía leyendo el informe - tiene romances ocultos tanto con mujeres del espectáculo, como con mujeres de alta sociedad… se rumora además que es un hombre muy mujeriego… pero según también las investigaciones al personal del servicio de su casa, el señor Granchester es un muy buen patrón, además de que siempre está al pendiente de sus dos hijos, ya que cuando va a visitar a su hijo a Eton, lleva con él a su hija y pasan temporadas en Inglaterra… - Candy seguía escuchando, miraba hacia un punto como si lo que Albert dijera lo estuviera viendo – aquí hay algunas fotografías tanto de Susana, de Terry acompañando por su hija y una fotografía donde está él con sus dos hijos cuando eran más pequeños – Albert miró esta última y abrió sus ojos - ¡Por Dios! – dijo asombrado mirando la foto - ¡Mira esta foto Candy! En ella sale el chico ¡Míralo! – se la entregó Candy la tomó y la miró - ¿lo ves? El chico es muy parecido a ti físicamente…**
**En Candy se formó una sonrisa llena de ternura al mirar esa foto.**
- **siempre pensé que así sería un día – comenzó a decir – cuando eran unos bebés tenían una leve pelusita en sus cabecitas, una era rubia y la otra era oscura, los ojitos de ellos eran muy lindos, unos eran azules, como los de él y los otros eran verdes, como los míos…**
- **¿quieres decir que Terry es el padre? – preguntó Albert – no habías dicho eso…**
- **Si, sucedió la noche antes de embarcarme a Francia… sólo fue una noche… - dijo Candy suavemente **
- **Pero ¿él no lo sabe? – Candy negó con su cabeza - ¿acaso no se dará cuenta del parecido que hay entre los niños y él? No entiendo qué es lo que le habrá dicho Susana al verla llegar con dos niños… me gustaría tanto saberlo – dijo Albert**
- **A mi también… - dijo Candy**
- **Bueno, creo que es tiempo de que nos preparemos para tu regreso al mundo – dijo Albert enigmáticamente **
Continuará…
* * *
¿Qué es lo que hizo Susana para actuar con tanta saña contra Candy? ¿Será posible que parte del sufrimiento de Candy se lo deba a ella?
Ya saben amigas, sus comentarios donde dirigirlos…
6. Capitulo 6
**LA MENTIRA **
**CAPITULO VI**
**"Tu sentir"**
* * *
**CUATRO MESES DESPUÉS…**
**NUEVA YORK…**
**Candy miraba por una de las ventanas de aquella elegante habitación del departamento que recientemente había alquilado Albert, estaba ubicada en una de las más elegantes y caras avenidas de la Ciudad en Nueva York, donde los verdaderamente millonarios podrían vivir, la vista era fantástica, el Park Central, no había tantos transeúntes, así como alguno que otro auto que circulaba por aquella calle, Nueva York era una ciudad hermosa que comenzaba a crecer, pronto se daría tiempo para recorrer las tiendas que tenían aparadores muy vistosos, ahora lo importante era comenzar la parte de su plan, sabía que tenía mucho que hacer con su apariencia.**
**Había ganado ya varios kilos, por lo que su cuerpo tenía ya visibles algunas de las formas que había perdido, ahora la poca ropa que tenía ya no le quedaba, así que con la ayuda de Patty, quien los había acompañado a ella y a Albert, con su experiencia en la organización de cuestiones personales, hizo que Candy fuera atendida por las mejores modistas y peinadoras de la ciudad, ya que cómo heredera del consorcio Andrey se daría a conocer con la sociedad.**
**Annie no pudo acompañarla, ya que tenía que cuidar al más pequeño de sus hijos, vigilar a los mayores y atender a Archie, por lo que no pudo ir con ellos también.**
- **_Creo Tener la solución Candy – dijo Albert cuando leían los informes del detective_**
- **_¿A qué te refieres? – preguntó Candy con los ojos llorosos, limpiándose el rostro_**
- **_a lo que haremos, prepararé todo para trasladarnos a Nueva York… _**
- **_¿Nueva York? _**
- **_Si, iremos, lucharás por tus hijos, tratarás de recuperarlos y poder al fin terminar con esa vieja rencilla que existe entre Susana y tú…_**
- **_¿Crees que dé resultado? – preguntó_**
- **_Claro que sí, debes pelear Candy, a ella le debes mucho de tu sufrimiento, no podemos permitirlo más – le decía Albert_**
- **_ Tienes razón, iremos y recuperaré a mis hijos…_**
**Partieron en aquel viaje, no sabía Candy a ciencia cierta que pasaría, solamente tenía una idea en mente: recuperar a sus hijos, aunque sabía que también se enfrentaría a Terry, lo que sería lo más difícil, ya que tendría entonces que enterarse que los hijos con los que convive y que adoptó, son realmente parte de él, de su sangre.**
**Así que también temía a la reacción que éste pudiera tener, sabía que era un hombre explosivo, con arrebatos de furia, pero haría que comprendiera, se dijo pensando positivamente. **
**Así pues, hubo que empezar con algo, en primera tenía que cambiar su apariencia, dar la imagen de una rica heredera, tal como correspondía a los Andrey, entonces junto con Patty y Albert comenzaron elegir ropa, lo que llevó a ver desfilar telas, diseños, zapatos, bolsas ridículamente pequeñas, sombreros, guantes, joyería, accesorios, perfumes, etc., era toda una locura para Candy, ésta miró todo lo que le traían, dejó que Patty le ayudara, ésta tenía un sentido de la moda muy bueno, sabía lo que estaba de moda entonces, así que gracias a sus consejos logró que Candy resplandeciera como una reina.**
**Y así lo constató cuando Albert la miró con un vestido nuevo, un corte muy favorecedor a ella, vio la admiración en los ojos de éste, pero en Patty notó tristeza "algo tendré que hacer aquí" se dijo ella, cómo era posible que Albert no se diera cuenta de los sentimientos de Patty, se preguntaba.**
- **¿Por qué no salimos a cenar hoy? – preguntó entonces Albert, haciendo que la mente de Candy pudiera pensar**
- **No lo sé – contestó Candy mirando de reojo a Patty quien no decía nada solamente miraba hacia otro punto – estoy un poco cansada, pero ¿qué te parece si salen tu y Patty nada más? – Patty al escuchar aquello, volteó a mirarla, pero Candy no la miró a ella, sino a Albert – anda no se queden encerrados por mí...**
- **Pues... ¿Qué te parece Patty? – dijo Albert**
- **Yo... no lo sé – contestó ella**
- **Anda Patty, salgan a cenar, yo tengo demasiado sueño ¡Aumm! – dijo fingiendo un bostezo Candy**
- **Está bien – dijo Patty encaminándose a arreglarse un poco, Candy notó que en la mirada de ésta había un brillo, se sintió feliz "eso necesitan estos dos", se dijo**
- **¿Segura que estarás bien Candy? – le decía Albert**
- **Si Albert, no te apures, estaré bien, anda diviértanse – les dijo**
**Patty y Albert salieron juntos del hotel, se dirigieron a cenar a un restaurante muy elegante, sin darse cuenta comenzaron a platicar mientras esperaban su orden, en esos momentos no eran jefe y asistente, eran solamente dos personas tratando de pasar un buen momento.**
- **¡Ja, ja, ja, ja! – reía Albert después de escuchar una anécdota de Patty**
- **¡En verdad Albert! Eso que sucedió fue cierto – decía Patty viendo con placer reír a Albert**
- **Sabes Patty – dijo después de dejar de reír, mientras en sus azules ojos se notaba aún la risa – ha sido una cena estupenda a tu lado, creo que me he perdido de una buena compañera, hacía mucho que no me divertía así**
- **Me alegro ser una buena compañía para ti – dijo sonriendo también Patty mientras lo miraba disimulando su sentir hacia él**
- **Sabes, trataremos de hacerlo más seguido – le dijo - ¡oh perdón! Te he comprometido a aceptar en un futuro, sin saber si tienes compromisos**
- **¿compromisos? – repitió Patty - ¡Oh no, claro que no! No tengo ningún compromiso**
- **Pero ¿y el hombre con el que comenzaste a salir hace tiempo? Aquel del departamento de contabilidad...**
- **¿Frank? – preguntó Patty, Albert asintió – Ah, no, no nos entendimos, creo que soy un poco aburrida**
- **¿Aburrida? ¡Para nada!, eres una chica muy inteligente, tienes comentarios muy atinados, me encanta esa manera de pensar que tienes... eres muy sincera, buena amiga...**
- **¡Ya Albert! Harás que me sienta importante – le dijo sonriendo**
- **No Patty – le dijo entonces con seriedad – es la verdad, no me había dado cuenta de ello, si eres importante, eres una mujer muy especial**
- **Tan especial que no he tenido la suerte de encontrar una pareja**
- **Porque te has fijado en hombres que no saben valorarte... – le tomó la mano a través de la mesa, Patty estaba muy nerviosa – hombres que no han sabido lo que es tener una mujer como tu**
- **¿Y tu Albert? – dijo mirándolo a los ojos con desafío - ¿tu si sabrías ser ese hombre?**
**Un silencio acompañó la pregunta, se miraron fijamente los dos, Albert no despegaba la mirada de aquella mujer, la observaba, se dio cuenta que con el paso de los años, se había convertido en una mujer verdaderamente bella, aunque ya no era tan joven, tenía jovialidad en ella, siguió con su observación, miró su cabello oscuro y sus ojos oscuros, se dio cuenta que le gustaba como brillaban sus ojos cuando lo miraban, cómo se curvaban sus labios cuando sonreían, su pequeña mano parecía pajarito queriendo escapar, pero él las apretó más fuerte.**
- **Discúlpame por lo que dije... no era mi intención – dijo bajando los ojos con vergüenza**
- **No, no te preocupes – dijo Albert sin soltar su mano, la otra mano que se encontraba libre se alzó hasta su barbilla haciendo que Patty levantara su rostro y mirar sus ojos – en verdad no te preocupes y en contestación a tu pregunta... yo, yo si sabría ser ese hombre**
- **A... Albert – Patty no sabía qué contestar, atinó a abrir enormemente sus ojos con asombro.**
**Albert no habló, solo alzó la mano que tenía atrapada hasta sus labios y la besó galantemente, Patty lo miró y sus ojos brillaban como si hubieran capturado miles de estrellas, mientras su corazón latía a mil por hora.**
* * *
**Mientras en aquel restaurante se escribía el inicio de otra historia, en la habitación de aquel hotel, Candy estaba hojeando las investigaciones del detective, después observaba con placer las pocas fotografías que había logrado obtener el investigador.**
**Miró la foto donde estaba Terry con los dos chicos, fue una alegría ver cómo habían crecido sus hijos, estaban hermosos, la niña entonces, se estaba pareciendo a Terry y pensó "cómo explicaría Susana aquel hecho" y el niño, se parecía también con él, pero tenía muchos rasgos de Candy, sin decir más, con los ojos verdes, del mismo tono de ella, después las demás fotos las vio y un hecho le intrigó, solamente salían en las demás fotos, Terry con la niña, ocasionalmente estaba Susana ahí, eran fotos de archivo en algunas revistas, pero no encontró de su hijo ¿por qué? ¿A qué edad había sido mandado a Eton? ¿Por qué Terry lo había permitido, si sabía lo que significaba estar en lugares como aquellos? **
**No lo entendía, pero al volver a mirar las fotografías, se dio cuenta cómo había crecido su hija, era muy bella, ahora contaban los dos con 17 años, ya era una señorita, estaba estudiando en un instituto muy reconocido en Nueva York para señoritas.**
**Estaba acostada en su cama con todos aquellos resultados dados por el investigador, todo estaba esparcido por su cama, pensaba y poco a poco se quedó dormida junto a una foto, donde estaban los dos niños con su padre…**
- **_Tus hijos son preciosos Candy – le dijo Susana Marlowe en una ocasión que la visitó en el lugar donde ésta vivía, iba caminando lento, cojeando quizás, pero no era tan visible, ya comenzaba a dominar un poco mejor la prótesis que le habían puesto_**
- **_Si es verdad, los amo demasiado, son mi luz – dijo apasionada Candy_**
- **_¿Y qué fue de su padre? – preguntó Susana_**
- **_¿Su padre? ¡Ah si! Él murió antes de que nacieran, en un accidente en Francia… - era la misma explicación que les había dado a todos cuando llegó a Liverpool_**
- **_OH qué pena – decía Susana - ¿me dejas cargarlos un momento? – dijo tomando al niño y lo observó, miró aquellos ojos verdes tan idénticos a los de la madre, su cabello de éste que entonces era rubio hacía parecerse a un pequeño angelito, después tomó a la niña, un escalofrío recorrió su espina dorsal cuando la observó detenidamente, vio los azules ojos de ésta, un azul profundo, oscuro, como los de… ¡no! No era verdad, no podían ser de él… Susana sintió que la sangre le hervía, pero Candy no podía engañarla al decir que su padre había muerto, pero ella que tenía grabadas con fuego las líneas del rostro de Terry en su mente, sabía que no podía estar equivocada, el niño también era parecido a él, aunque tenía sus ojos verdes, pero los dos niños tenían los rasgos de él… si Terry se enterara, sería capaz de… ¡No! ¡jamás lo sabría! – Son hermosos Candy – dijo fingiendo una sonrisa - ¡Oh Dios! Tengo que irme – dijo mirando el reloj en la pared de aquel lugar donde vivía Candy – es tarde, después vendré a visitarte Candy… adios – salió de aquel lugar_**
- **_Adiós – dijo Candy en la puerta de su pequeña casita con un bebé en cada brazo_**
**Albert y Patty habían llegado al hotel y pasaron a ver a Candy a su recamara, desde la puerta observaron que estaba dormida, y continuaron su camino, después de despedirse Albert de Patty, ya que ésta compartía la habitación con Candy, Patty continuaba dentro de su ensueño, por lo que no se acercó a Candy, ni tampoco la quiso molestar, así que después de cambiarse se fue a acostar, pero si se hubiera acercado a Candy, se hubiera dado cuenta que ésta tenía sueños muy tristes, porque de sus ojos que se encontraban cerrados, salían lágrimas.**
**Candy despertó en esos momentos, sudaba y lloraba, la noche había sido de pesadilla, volvieron sus recuerdos que se encontraban más frescos que nunca, no había podido superar la pérdida de sus pequeños de aquella manera, pero lo que más le dolía era saber que los tenía la persona que más la odiaba en el mundo, que era precisamente Susana Marlowe, la esposa del padre de sus hijos.**
**Pronto, muy pronto sabría Susana de Candy, ahora venía preparada para luchar contra ella, la haría pagar todas y cada una de las lágrimas derramadas por haberle arrancado a sus hijos y haber mentido en un juicio, haciendo que su testimonio la hundiera más.**
* * *
**Ese día sería uno de los más ajetreados de Candy, ya que Albert había sido invitado a un evento de caridad, donde se había invitado a las personas más reconocidas del ámbito artístico, así como a personas del get set neoyorquino, pero como Albert era uno de los personajes reconocidos entre los millonarios, además de pertenecer a una de las familias con mayor rango social, inevitablemente tenía que asistir a ese evento.**
**Entre tanto, Patty y Candy ocuparon su tiempo para buscar un vestido adecuado que ponerse, así que el día lo emplearon para ponerse bellas para la noche, fueron al salón de belleza para que las peinaran y arreglaran las uñas, Candy no se reconoció cuando terminaron con ella, le hicieron un corte primero, ya que tenía muy maltratado su cabello, le aplicaron un tratamiento que lo dejó brillando, pero como su cabello era rizado, le hicieron un peinado en alto, dejando caer parte de sus rizos en la nuca y uno que otro rizo suelto a los lados de su cara, la maquillaron, el resultado fue fenomenal, estaba muy bella, parecía que estaba recuperando su belleza de antaño.**
**Patty no se quedó atrás, le arreglaron su cabello en un rodete en alto y bien estirado de enfrente lo que dejaba al descubierto sus ojos que se veían más grandes que de costumbre, lo cierto es que también su belleza había madurado, haciéndola ver como una mujer tremendamente sofisticada, dándole un aire de distinción.**
**Ya en su habitación se arreglaron, Candy se puso un vestido en color azul rey profundo, le recordaron al mirarlo a los ojos de "él", era ceñido, en tipo halter, hacía ver su cintura pequeña, sus caderas se delineaban completamente, dándole una figura muy bien formada, el vestido era largo con una abertura que le llegaba hasta la rodilla, con un escote en la espalda desde donde colgaba una especie de cola del mismo vestido, verdaderamente se veía espectacular, sus zapatillas en raso del color del vestido, guantes en sus brazos arriba del codo en color blanco, mientras en su largo cuello de cisne se rompía la línea gracias a una gargantilla muy valiosa propiedad de la familia Andrey, engarzada con diamantes, además de dos prendedores que le pusieron a los lados de su cabeza en forma de rosas, también en diamantes, parecía un fénix renacido.**
**Patty estaba también muy bella, con un vestido en color verde oscuro, con accesorios en plata, unas zapatillas con adornos plateados y en su cuello colgaba una cadena igual en plata con un diamante en el centro que tenía la forma de un triángulo, su vestido al igual que el Candy era ceñido, dejando ver sus formas de mujer, su cintura pequeña y sus caderas.**
- **¡Vaya quién me iba a decir que iba a ir acompañado de dos mujeres tan bellas! – Dijo Albert cuando las vio – Candy te ves hermosa – le dijo tomando su mano y besándola galante – Patty, te ves... preciosa – dijo sin aliento y también tomó su mano y la besó aunque en la mano de ella tardaron más sus labios, Candy de reojo miró la escena y sonrió con disimulo.**
**Albert se sentía orgulloso de portar a los lados a dos mujeres tan bellas, ya que todo el mundo presente en el vestíbulo del hotel volteaban a mirarlos, una rubia y una morena, dos bellezas en cada una en su tipo diferentes.**
**Llegaron al evento, el cual se estaba llevando a cabo en el salón de un hotel igualmente importante, cuando salieron del auto de Albert, los cegó los flashes de los reporteros que estaban ahí cubriendo el evento, así que Albert para dar más relevancia a tal, se detuvo y contestó unas preguntas de éstos.**
- **señor Andrey ¿Quiénes son las damas que lo acompañan? – preguntó uno **
- **Me acompaña la señorita Patricia O'brien miembro de una de las familias más reconocidas en la Florida y Candice White Andrey...**
- **¿Andrey? ¿Es familiar suyo? – lo interrumpió el reportero**
- **Es la heredera de los bienes Andrey... – contestó Albert y de inmediato comenzaron a funcionar nuevamente las cámaras dirigiéndolas a Candy – no más comentarios señores – dijo Albert caminando nuevamente con las dos mujeres, mientras escuchaban a los reporteros seguir requiriendo su atención.**
- **¿Por qué dijiste eso Albert? – le preguntó en voz baja después Candy ya dentro del salón**
- **Necesitas ser reconocida pequeña, para que se comience la primera parte de tu venganza – le sonrió y le guiñó un ojo**
**Entraron al salón y como en entrada triunfal, las demás personas que se encontraban ya reunidas voltearon a verlas, deliberadamente Albert había tratado de llegar un poco después de que el evento comenzara, así lograría su objetivo, de hacer que los demás invitados vieran quienes eran, integrantes de la familia Andrey, el patriarca de ésta y la heredera de ésta, además de la compañía de otra mujer también muy bella.**
**Candy se conducía con altivez y un porte envidiable, lo que la mayoría de los invitados masculinos admiró, no sólo la belleza de esa mujer, sino su finura y elegancia para portar un vestido como aquel, las mujeres la miraron con envidia, ya que Candy volvía a ser poseedora de un cuerpo muy bien distribuido, además claro de ir del brazo de uno de los hombres más ricos.**
**Se dirigieron a su mesa, la cual compartirían con los Vanderbilt, un apellido por demás reconocido en Nueva York, quienes se portaron de lo más agradable con los Andrey, infinidad de rostros cruzaron por Candy, quien después de las presentaciones no recordó a ninguno.**
**Comenzó la cena, después de ésta continuó el evento de donaciones, donde mesa por mesa unas personas comisionadas a recaudar el dinero con una canasta pasaron, a Candy le asombró ver el despliegue de cantidades que se movían en aquel lugar, recordó que durante su estadía en la prisión, no había suficiente comida, les daban una miserable porción, además de que se les restringía demasiado el agua para poder bañarse, incluso para lo más elemental.**
**Después de esto, dio comienzo un baile, Candy observaba hacia todos lados, buscaba, buscaba un rostro, lamentablemente no lograba ubicar nada, Albert al verla un poco nerviosa, le pidió bailar para que se tranquilizara, Candy se negó y le dijo que mejor bailara con Patty, la dejaron de momento sola en la mesa, ya que todos estaban bailando, ella sólo observaba, se perdía de momento en sus pensamientos, por lo que no se dio cuenta de que un joven estaba parado junto a ella.**
- **Disculpe bella dama – le habló con una voz profunda - ¿podría concederme esta pieza?**
**Candy volteó a mirar, le sorprendió encontrarse con un muchacho muy joven, muy, muy apuesto, vestido elegantemente, de cabellos castaños claros y ojos verdes, ella lo miró y sin fijarse en lo que hacía, se levantó, dándose cuenta que éste muchacho era alto, tomó la mano que le ofrecía y el muchacho la condujo hacia la pista para comenzar a bailar.**
- **acerté cuando pensé que sus ojos eran verdes... – comenzó a decir el joven**
- **¿cómo? – dijo Candy**
- **Que no me equivoqué al pensar que sus ojos eran verdes – decía sonriendo, tenía una sonrisa muy bella el joven**
- **Y los suyos, también son verdes – dijo Candy mirándolo**
- **Si, la observé desde que entró al salón... y me dije: "que hermosa mujer" – Candy se ruborizó – es usted más bella de cerca**
- **Por favor, me hace avergonzar... – dijo Candy**
- **Pero ¿Por qué? ¿por qué avergonzarse por rendirle tributo a su belleza? – le decía galante**
**Candy le sonrió, era un muchacho muy apuesto, por su galanura le pareció que quizás pertenecería a una familia aristócrata, ya que tenía un porte muy fino.**
- **Por favor, no me mire así – le dijo con timidez**
- **No puedo evitar admirarla, sobre todo sus ojos que son muy bellos... un color esmeralda – dijo mientras continuaban bailando, él lo hacía muy bien y la conducía magistralmente.**
**El baile dio fin, el joven galantemente la acompañó hasta su mesa, después de besarle la mano se retiró, ella no le había preguntado su nombre.**
- **¡Candy! – habló Patty - ¿Quién era ese muchacho tan apuesto?**
- **No lo sé... no le pregunté su nombre – dijo Candy – es muy joven...**
- **Si, pero ¡qué importa! - Dijo Patty – quiere decir que aún tienes un buen pegue – y le dio un leve codazo**
**Rato después Candy se levantó para ir al tocador de damas, iba caminando hacia ahí, cuando sin darse cuenta chocó con alguien.**
- **¡OH perdón! – dijo Candy, pero por mala suerte la otra persona traía un vaso, que al chocar con ella, le derramó parte del líquido en su vestido **
- **¡Oh cuánto lo lamento! – dijo la otra persona que resultó ser una chica**
- **No se preocupe – Candy comenzó a tratar de sacudir el líquido**
- **¡Qué tonta soy! Permítame ayudarla – dijo la chica**
- **No, no hay problema... – comenzaba a decir volteando a mirarla y su corazón se paralizó al ver con quien había chocado**
**Frente a ella con una mirada de preocupación se encontraba el rostro que se había grabado cuando había observado las fotos que el detective le había traído, una actual de su hija, su corazón parecía querer explotar por no saber qué hacer, se quedó parada sin saber cómo conducirse, mientras la chica se apuraba a limpiarle el vestido.**
- **¡Qué tonta, cómo no pude darme cuenta! – decía apurada**
**Candy la miraba embelesada, la chica era preciosa, su cabello oscuro estaba perfectamente peinado, su piel era blanca, enfundada en un vestido de color azul cielo, como correspondería a una debutante, su rostro, aquel rostro que Candy hasta entonces seguía visualizando en su mente como cuando tenía la niña dos años, descubrió cuán cambiado estaba, vio con emoción los ojos de esta muchacha, azules, un azul profundo, como los de su padre, no había duda del parecido con éste, los ojos de Candy comenzaron a llenarse de lágrimas que logró contener.**
- **Le prometo que pagaré la tintorería... – seguía diciendo la chica**
- **No, no hay problema...**
- **¡Pero cómo no! Si su vestido es precioso...**
- **no te apures, no es nada – dijo Candy y las dos se encaminaron al tocador que estaba vacío en esos momentos**
- **al menos permítame limpiarlo... – decía la chica**
- **Mira, olvidemos el incidente – dijo Candy – a cualquier le pasa un accidente, además yo también venía distraída**
- **¿Está segura?**
- **Claro que sí... – Candy tomó una pequeña toalla de las que estaban en el tocador y comenzó a secarse – pero dime... ¿cuál es tu nombre? – dijo conteniendo el aire**
- **Me llamo Dana Granchester – contestó**
- **Dana... – repitió Candy – Granchester...**
- **Si, mi papá es actor, Terrence Granchester – dijo la chica, Candy entonces se sostuvo en el lavadero, como si se hubiera mareado**
- **¿Se siente usted bien? – le dijo tomando a Candy del brazo**
- **Si – dijo con un suspiro – estoy bien – y la miró, los ojos de Candy estaban brillantes por las lágrimas – mucho gusto de conocerte... **
- **¿Y usted es...?**
- **Me llamo Candice White Andrey...**
- **¿Andrey? – repitió**
- **Si, ¿conoces a la familia?**
- **He oído de ella – dijo sin abundar en el tema – bueno, tengo que irme... mucho gusto haberla conocido señora Andrey**
- **Igualmente... hija – dijo la última palabra cuando la chica había salido ya del tocador, mientras Candy, dejó correr una lágrima que había estado conteniendo, su hija, su pequeña hija, estaba tan grande y bella.**
**Rato después salió del baño, hasta que había logrado controlar sus emociones, no se dirigió a la mesa que estaba ocupando con Albert y Patty, sino que se dirigió a la terraza, desde donde se podía ver los jardines y en el cielo se veía una luna llena.**
**Ahí se sentó en una banca que se encontraba tapada por unos arbustos, desde donde ella podía observar, pero no la podían ver a ella, no quería que la molestaran en esos momentos, necesitaba estar un momento a solas, pero escuchó voces.**
- **¿Qué es lo que deseas Gladys? – dijo la voz**
**Candy sintió que un escalofrío le recorrió la espalda al escuchar esa voz, la reconocería en cualquier lado, era...**
- **Terrence – dijo la voz de mujer - ¿por qué me castigas de esta manera?**
- **No entiendo a qué te refieres – decía con petulancia Terrence**
- **Sabes lo que quiero decir ¿acaso se ha terminado?**
- **Gladys, querida, nunca prometí algo más, fue muy agradable haber estado contigo, pero se acabó**
- **¡Eres muy cruel Terrence! – decía la voz con un dejo de sollozo**
- **¿Cruel? No lo creo, soy sincero, y desde el principio hablé claro contigo, te dije que no esperaras más de mí – decía con fastidio**
- **¿por qué Terrence, por qué quieres terminar?**
- **Mi hijo ha llegado de Inglaterra y voy a pasar todo mi tiempo libre con él y mi hija, además de que como sabes, comenzaré los ensayos para la siguiente obra**
- **¡Tus hijos, siempre tus hijos! **
- **Si Gladys ellos son lo más importante para mí...**
- **¡Pero si no son tu sangre! – Candy escuchó aquello y sintió que le faltaba el aire**
- **¡Jamás, Jamás vuelvas a decir eso!**
- **¡es la verdad, tu mujer lo dijo a todo mundo aquel día! ¿no lo recuerdas? ¡dijo que eran unos niños huérfanos que ella por caridad recogió!**
- **¡Cállate! ¡Son mis hijos y eso no se discute! Creo que entre tu y yo no puede haber nada... no voy a permitir que ni tu ni nadie, incluso Susana los insulte ¿me entiendes? **
- **¡Terrence! ¡no, no me dejes! **
**Candy escuchó unos pasos alejarse, seguido después por unos sollozos apagados, Terrence se había ido, dejando a aquella mujer llorando.**
**Sintió una calidez Candy en su corazón al haber escuchado hablar de aquella manera a Terry, defender de aquella manera a sus hijos ¿entonces Susana le escondió la verdad a Terry? ¿No le dijo que eran sus hijos? Cumplió su palabra, no le dijo nada a Terry, entonces éste pensaba que…**
**¿Qué clase de mujer era aquella que había fincado su vida en una mentira? ¿Qué odio más grande puede albergar su corazón para ocultarle a Terry que los hijos que él cree no son suyos, en realidad si tienen su sangre?**
**Terry... haberlo tenido tan cerca de ella, escuchar nuevamente su voz, escuchar la manera tan apasionada de defender a dos chicos que creía eran huérfanos, Terry, tuvo ganas de salir cuando lo escuchó defenderlos de aquella mujer, pero, ¿cómo es que había mantenido una relación con ella? ¿Y Susana, qué papel jugaba en todo aquello?**
**Demasiadas interrogantes para una noche... no se había dado cuenta que de sus ojos nuevamente habían corrido lágrimas hasta que las sintió caer en sus manos que descansaban en su regazo, con un pequeño pañuelo se las secó y hasta sentirse controlada, volvió al salón donde estaba escuchándose la música y parejas multicolores bailaban al ritmo de ésta, trató de sonreír y alzó nuevamente su cabeza adentrándose a ese mundo, sabía que tendría que luchar ¿contra quién? Contra todo aquel que le impidiera recuperar la vida que le había sido arrebatada, contra todo aquel que se interpusiera entre ella y sus hijos, contra todo aquel que le impidiera encontrar la felicidad, incluso hasta contra ella misma lucharía.**
**Continuará…**
* * *
**NOTITAS DE MI: Hola, agradezco que les este gustando esta historia, se que el tema es muy complicado, pero espero que lo entiendan.**
**Gracias a todas y cada uno de sus mensaje que se molestan en enviar, los leo uno a uno y en verdad que no se que puedo contestarles, asi que solo les doy las gracias por ellos.**
**Qué sucederá ahora? **
**Quién es ese joven de ojos verdes?**
**Porque Dana cambió su actitud hacia Candy al saber que es una Andrey?**
7. Capitulo 7
**LA MENTIRA **
**CAPITULO VII**
**"Kyle"**
* * *
**Un muchacho se encontraba montando un hermoso semental de color negro, era muy temprano aún, pero eso no le quitaba las ansias de sentir el aire en su rostro, trotó y saltó por los obstáculos que estaban en aquel lugar construido especialmente para practicar la equitación, Kyle Granchester, era un consumado jinete, ya que en Inglaterra durante el tiempo que había permanecido en aquel colegio de Eton había sido integrante en el equipo de equitación, y eso lo demostraba en la manera en que podía dominar a aquel caballo.**
- **¡Kyle! – escuchó una voz femenina y volteó**
- **¡Vaya! Creí que era demasiado temprano para ti venir a cabalgar – contestó**
- **¡claro que no! – contestó Dana su hermana**
- **Parece que has cambiado tus costumbres levantándote temprano...**
- **No es verdad, lo que sucede es que como siempre estoy sola... – dijo haciendo un puchero – además hoy si hubiera sido pretexto, ya que ayer nos acostamos muy tarde**
- **Ya lo creo – dijo sonriendo soñadoramente**
- **¡Ah pícaro! ¿Conociste alguna chica? – preguntó Dana**
- **Conocí una mujer preciosa, con unos ojos hermosos – dijo soñador**
- **¿Ah si? ¿La conozco? – dijo Dana - ¿cómo se llama?**
- **Pues, no lo sé – dijo él**
- **¡No es posible que no le hayas preguntado su nombre! – se burló Dana**
- **No me di cuenta de ello hasta que la dejé en su mesa y cuando volví a buscarla, no la encontré – decía Kyle**
- **¿A quién no encontraste? – se escuchó una tercera voz**
- **¿Podrás creer papá, que Kyle conoció una mujer y no le preguntó su nombre? – dijo Dana**
- **¿Es verdad hijo? – preguntó Terry con interés**
- **Pues... – dijo Kyle**
- **¿Cómo es ella? Quizás yo la conozco – dijo Terry**
- **Pues es... muy hermosa – dijo mirando a un punto – tiene la piel más blanca que haya visto... su cabello es rubio con pequeños rizos que salían de su peinado... – Terry escuchaba mirándolo – su rostro es... angelical... pero, lo que más me atrajo de ella fueron sus ojos...**
- **¿Cómo eran? – preguntó Terry sonriendo**
- **Verdes – dijo Kyle y a Terry se le borró la sonrisa – de un verde, como si fueran dos esmeraldas...**
**En la mente de Terry aparecieron dos ojos como los que se refería su hijo, dos ojos verdes como las esmeraldas, precisamente en su mano brillaba un anillo con una piedra del mismo tono.**
- **Verdes, así como tu anillo, en ese tono... – decía Kyle sacándolo de sus pensamientos**
- **¿Ah si? – dijo Terry tratando de sonreír pero en sus labios solo aparecía una mueca **
- **Vaya que eres un tonto hermanito... – dijo Dana, asustando al caballo negro y ella azuzó al suyo, comenzando a juguetear los dos.**
**Mientras Terry borraba de su rostro la sonrisa que había tenido momentos antes, al ver a sus hijos alejarse correteando con sus caballos.**
**Lo había hecho su hijo, recordar, lo que trataba de no hacer nunca, recordar, ya que para él era muy doloroso volver a vivir en sus recuerdos los momentos vividos con una mujer que había amado con todo su ser, evitaba pensar en ella, porque cuando lo hacía sentía sangrar su corazón, sacudió su cabeza para quitarse los malos recuerdos y azuzó a su caballo también para alcanzar a sus hijos.**
* * *
**Aquella mañana Candy se encontraba de mejor humor, parecía haber cambiado algo en ella, la visión de su hija, quien estaba convertida en una hermosa jovencita, dio gracias a Dios por haberle permitido verla así de grande ya.**
**En la terraza la estaban esperando ya Albert y Patty para desayunar.**
- **Buen día Candy – dijo Albert dándole un sorbo a su taza de café - ¿cómo dormiste?**
- **Bien, perfectamente – contestó sonriendo Candy**
- **Hoy estás de muy buen semblante – dijo Patty**
- **Si, así es, me siento contenta, feliz… - dijo Candy**
- **¿por qué pequeña? – preguntó Albert**
- **Si Candy ¿por qué tan contenta, además de conocer a un joven muy apuesto? – dijo Patty con picardía**
- **¡Ah! ¿conociste un joven Candy? – preguntó Albert interesado**
- **Es un chiquillo… - dijo Candy tratando de no darle tanta importancia – demasiado joven…, pero no es por eso que estoy así**
- **¿Entonces? – preguntó Patty**
- **Es que anoche… conocí a mi hija – dijo con una amplia sonrisa – y es muy bella…**
- **¿La viste? ¿dónde? – preguntó Albert**
- **Pues por un accidente… - Candy les contó el suceso – así que se imaginarán, lo que sentí al verla, al tenerla junto a mí, aguantar las ganas de abrazarla y besarla**
- **Creo que te entiendo Candy – dijo Patty**
- **Si, me siento tan contenta hoy – dijo sonriente**
- **Bueno queridas damas – dijo Albert y las dos le prestaron su atención – hoy en la noche estamos invitados a la casa de los señores Horace y Gladys O'Kerry – Cuando Albert mencionó el nombre de Gladys, recordó que anoche escuchó ese nombre con… él, quizás sería otra Gladys – así que deben ponerse muy bellas – continuó diciendo Albert – yo regresaré más tarde, necesito revisar algunas cosas en las oficinas que tenemos asociadas aquí en Nueva York – dijo y se despidió de ellas, quienes siguieron en la mesa conversando mientras terminaban de desayunar**
- **Sabes Patty – dijo Candy – anoche tuve a Terry muy cerca de mí**
- **¡Cómo! – Patty abrió sus ojos como plato**
- **No es lo que imaginas – dijo apurada - es que yo salí a la terraza a tomar un poco de aire y me senté en una banca cubierta por un arbusto y hasta ahí llegaron una pareja, que estuvieron hablando, la mujer según escuché se llamaba Gladys…**
- **¿Crees que será la misma de la fiesta a la que iremos? – preguntó Patty**
- **No lo sé, pudiera ser otra ¿cuántas Gladys crees que haya? – sonrió Candy al preguntar – pero ese no es el asunto principal, sino que la persona que estaba hablando con ella ¡era Terry! **
- **¿Estás segura?**
- **Ya lo creo, su voz jamás se me podría olvidar, aunque no lo viera… - y comenzó a platicarle lo que había escuchado**
- **¡Vaya! Si que es algo especial, recuerda las investigaciones del detective, al referirse a que Terry Granchester es un mujeriego**
- **lo que no me explico, qué es lo que opina Susana…**
- **Yo tampoco lo entiendo – dijo Patty y continuaron con su desayuno.**
* * *
- **¡Vamos Papá! ¡Dime que te parece este vestido! – le decía Dana**
- **No lo sé cariño – contestó Terry un tanto cansado, habían estado ahí viendo vestido tras vestido con Dana**
- **¡Dana cualquier cosa que te pongas se te verá bien! – le dijo Kyle**
- **¡Oh mira este! – dijo sin hacer caso de lo que decía su hermano y jaló a su padre hacia otro lado de la tienda de ropa sin hacer caso a las negativas de su padre**
- **No hay duda que está loca – dijo en voz baja Kyle y salió de esa tienda y comenzó a caminar por la banqueta, y miraba los escaparates cuando la imagen de una rubia en la banqueta de enfrente caminaba junto a una morena, volteó a mirar justo cuando éstas se metieron a un cafetín, Kyle sin pensar en nada más, se encaminó hasta allá**
**Vio con placer que estaban sentadas las dos damas en una mesa, estaban ordenando, con las manos frías y con un hueco en el estómago se acercó poco a poco a ellas, conforme iba acercándose la observaba, no había duda, a la luz del día la dama rubia era más bella.**
* * *
**Candy y Patty estaban haciendo unas compras, ya que Candy casi no tenía vestidos para salir de noche o de fiesta, así que juntas se dirigieron a las casas de moda para poder comprar unos vestidos, habían estado casi toda la mañana mirando modelos, hasta que a las dos les dio hambre y se dirigieron a un cafetín cercano, donde pidieron café y pastelillos, Candy volvía a ser la golosa de siempre, arrastrando a Patty con ella al gusto por los pasteles y galletas.**
- **¡Uff! Estoy rendida – decía Candy, quien traía su cabello rizado peinado con una coleta, además de un sencillo vestido de día color verde pastel, que dejaba al descubierto sus hombros, que estaban sin joyería alguna, manga tres cuartos, y un cinturón en el mismo color del vestido, medias y zapatillas en raso del mismo color**
- **Ya lo creo que sí, también yo no aguanto mis pies, creo que es más sencillo arreglar los asuntos en la oficina que andar de tienda en tienda – comentaba Patty, también vestida con una blusita de manga tres cuartos color beige y una falda con rayas verticales en diferentes tonos cafés, medias y zapatillas cafés**
**Estaban lamentándose sobre su cansancio mientras esperaban les trajeran lo que habían ordenado y estaban platicando que no se dieron cuenta de la presencia del jovencito hasta que estuvo cerca de ellas.**
- **Buenas tardes – saludó éste**
- **Buenas tardes – volteó a mirarlo Candy y sonrió**
- **Que gran casualidad – dijo el joven**
- **Ya lo creo – sonreía Candy **
- **¿gusta acompañarnos? – dijo de pronto Patty**
- **Pues… - dijo Kyle mirando a Candy**
- **Claro, si usted quiere – dijo entonces Candy sonriente**
- **Será un placer – dijo y tomó asiento**
- **Mi nombre es Candice Andrey, mi amiga Patty O'brien – dijo presentando Candy a Patty**
- **A sus pies bella dama – dijo tomando la mano de Patty haciendo una reverencia**
- **La otra noche la busqué después y no la encontré – decía Kyle de pronto**
- **Me sentí un poco indispuesta y me fui de la fiesta – explicó Candy – pero, ¿en verdad me buscó?**
- **Claro que sí, es usted una dama difícil de olvidar – le dijo, era en verdad un hombre muy guapo, de cabello castaño con reflejos rubios un poco ensortijado, corto, era alto ya que Candy le llegaba a la altura de las orejas de éste, además de que tenía un rostro muy apuesto, sus ojos eran verdes, su nariz muy bien delineada y sus labios eran muy sexys, su cuerpo se veía a leguas que hacía mucho ejercicio, era en verdad un hombre muy difícil de no voltearlo a mirar, vestía además muy elegante.**
- **Me siento muy halagada de que me recuerde… - decía Candy – pero no me ha dicho su nombre**
- **Perdón, pero es que al verla… hace que yo pierda la concentración… mi nombre es…**
- **¡Así que aquí estás! – se escuchó una voz femenina**
- **Dana – dijo Kyle**
- **¿Sabes que papá y yo estamos buscándote? – le dijo ésta**
- **Oye compórtate – le dijo éste y la chica volteó a mirar a sus acompañantes y se sorprendió al mirar de quién se trataba, cuando Candy volteó a mirarla también, vio en los azules ojos de la chica una mirada de desafío – perdón señora Candy, ésta irrespetuosa es mi hermana**
- **Ah si – dijo un poco grosera – perdón, pero tenemos que irnos – dijo jalándolo**
- **Discúlpela señora Candy, pero mi hermana es una grosera**
- **¿Tú… tú hermana? – dijo sin aire Candy**
- **Si, pero volveremos a vernos… - le dijo como si fuera una promesa, besando su mano – adiós – y se despidió de las dos**
- **¿escuchaste Patty? – le dijo Candy**
- **Si, es nada menos que tu hijo – contestó Patty**
- **Si, mi hijo – decía con voz emocionada Candy – y lo tuve junto a mí y bailé con él, Dios mío…**
- **Debes hacer algo Candy… - dijo Patty**
- **¿A qué te refieres? – preguntó Candy sin entender aún por la emoción**
- **Creo que le gustas – le dijo Patty**
**Candy escuchó aquella aseveración de Patty sin dar crédito, y se dio cuenta que tenía razón, ya que el muchacho desde que la había conocido, notó una admiración en sus ojos muy diferente, ella antes de saber quién era, se había sentido muy halagada que le pudiera gustar a un chico como aquél, aunque claro sabía que éste podría ser su hijo, y así era, era su hijo.**
* * *
- **¡Eres una grosera! – le iba diciendo Kyle a Dana**
- **¿grosera? ¿Por qué? – le contestó enojada Dana - ¿así que esa es la mujer que te gustó? ¿Acaso estás ciego o qué? ¡Podría ser tu madre!**
- **¡pero no lo es! – le contestó igualmente enojado mirándola, Dana le sostuvo la mirada también**
- **¿Qué sucede aquí? – preguntó Terry acercándose a ellos**
- **Nada – contestó Kyle**
- **¿Nada? ¡vamos dile a papá lo que sucede! – le retó Dana**
- **¿Algún problema hijo? – preguntó Terry**
- **No papá – contestó éste mirando a otro lado**
- **Es que acabo de alejarlo de la mujer que conoció anoche – dijo de repente Dana**
- **¿Ah si? – dijo Terry**
- **Si ¿y no te imaginas? – decía Dana**
- **¡Dana cállate! – decía Kyle**
- **Ella es… - estaba a punto de decir Dana**
- **Hija – la interrumpió Terry – hablaremos en la casa, creo que no es el lugar ni el momento, además creo que estamos muy cansados, recuerden que en la noche tengo una cena en casa de los O'Kerry… vámonos – dijo y los tres subieron a su auto**
**Terry iba en verdad un poco enfadado por haber andado de tienda en tienda, estaba más que nada cansado, observó a sus dos hijos, cada uno con distintos pensamientos, Dana iba enojada porque la había interrumpido, se daba cuenta que era muy voluntariosa y terca, sobre todo terca y quería tratar de dominar a todos, su hijo Kyle era un joven que había sido obligado a estar siempre lejos de casa, aunque Terry siempre se opuso a esto, Susana decidió que necesitaba estar en un colegio para que le pudieran dar la mejor educación y así había sido, siempre fue el primero de su clase, pero a qué costo, a estar lejos de casa, así había estado él mismo, así había sido también su vida, su padre no lo había querido entonces, ni tenía el apoyo de su madre también entonces, pero cuando quiso traer a Kyle de vuelta a casa, éste no quiso y prefirió quedarse en el colegio, lo que Terry no entendió.**
**Lo que Terry nunca sabría, es que Kyle prefería estar en el colegio, ya que siempre había recibido desprecios y malos tratos de su madre adoptiva, quien no se había cansado de repetirle solamente a él que era adoptado y a su hermana la trataba de diferente manera, además de que Susana parecía tenerle cierta aversión y lo rechazaba, así que aunque sabía que su padre adoptivo lo quería, prefería estar lejos, para que sus padres no discutieran por su causa.**
**A Dana siempre la habían tratado de diferente forma, ya que Susana la trataba mejor a ella, porque se parecía a Terry, claro que eso sólo lo sabía ella, nunca le había dicho nada a Terry, sino al contrario, había reiterado cada vez que podía o discutía con Terry, que los chicos no eran suyos, sino adoptados, pero internamente Susana aceptaba más a Dana precisamente por eso, por el parecido que había entre ellos, físicamente se parecían, aunque tenía también rasgos de Candy, sobre todo cuando reía, pero en el carácter era igual que Terry, en cambio Kyle era como Candy, de carácter más suave, por eso lo rechazaba, y a Dana la aceptaba un poco más.**
**En cambio Terry, para él no había distinciones, quería a los dos, para él eran realmente sus hijos, los sentía así parte de él, como si realmente hubiera un lazo entre ellos, cuán cerca estaba de la verdad en su sentir, ya que el llamado de la sangre era muy fuerte, pero las mentiras en las que había sido envuelto no eran suficientes para hacerle sentir otra cosa más que amor por esos dos chicos que llegaron a su casa un día, se encontró al verlos por primera vez, atrapados en ellos, para el Dana era una pequeña princesita, y Kyle un príncipe, sentía por éste algo distinto ya que al verlo con su suave cabello rubio y sobre todo sus ojos verdes, le hicieron recordar a otros iguales a esos, pero la mentira de Susana a pesar de todo no había sido suficiente para lograr un acercamiento más con Terry, **
**Susana entonces trataba de hacer todo lo posible por estar cerca de Terry, lo quería hacer sentir que le tenía más agradecimiento por haber traído con ella a aquellos niños, quería obligarlo a amarla, y al no lograr su cometido, ésta se iba amargando cada vez más, pero a pesar de eso, siempre quería imponer su presencia a Terry, quien cada vez más se iba separando de ella, al grado de buscar afectos de otras mujeres fuera de su casa, claro que todo lo hacía con la más mínima discreción, para que no afectaran a sus hijos.**
* * *
**Cuando llegaron a su casa, entonces Dana había olvidado el incidente y se dirigió a su recamara con todos los paquetes de la ropa que había comprado para enseñárselos a su madre, así que Terry aprovechó para hablar con Kyle quien no había abierto la boca desde que habían subido al auto.**
- **¿Quieres tomar algo hijo? – le dijo Terry quien se estaba sirviendo en un vaso, hielo**
- **Si gracias papá – le contestó Kyle y se sentó, sus verdes ojos estaban tristes**
- **Toma – le dio un vaso que contenía agua y hielo, Terry se sentó frente a él y lo observó, la luz le daba de frente al chico, haciendo que su cabello le brillara y en sus ojos se viera más el tono verde - ¿qué sucedió hijo? ¿por qué tu hermana se puso así?**
- **No lo sé papá, pareciera que quisiera fastidiarme siempre – le contestó con voz suave, aunque en sus ojos se notaba un brillo de enojo**
- **Dijo que te vio con alguien – continuó Terry dando un sorbo a su bebida, Kyle no contestó - ¿es la mujer que conociste anoche?**
- **Si… - contestó **
- **Bueno, entiendo porque te enojaste ¿es linda? – vio con placer cómo su hijo sonreía**
- **¡Es hermosa! – contestó**
- **¿Cómo es? – preguntó con interés Terry**
- **Pues… te había dicho que era rubia, ahora traía su cabello suelto, sus rizos flotaban – decía soñador – a la luz del día es más hermosa, sus ojos, verdes, tiene una naricita, además hoy noté con la luz del día que tiene pecas en su cara – cuando Terry escuchó la palabra "pecas" sintió como si le dieran un golpe en el estómago **
- **¿Dijiste pecas? – preguntó**
- **Si, las tiene sobre su nariz – le señaló con su dedo Kyle donde estaban esas pecas**
- **¿y… como… se… llama…? – preguntó Terry con un leve estremecimiento**
- **Candy…**
**Continuará…**
* * *
**NOTITAS: Hola agradezco antes que nada los comentarios que tan amablemente me envian, me da gusto que les este gustando este fic. **
**Para ichelchan2124 para nada me ofende tu pregunta, si, este es un fic que escribi hace muchos anios, incluso es cierto que los tenia publicados en esta pagina y en otras, pero por algunas cuestiones, los borre todos, incluso el que tengo en proceso tambien lo habia borrado, pero muchas amigas que me leian me dieron muchos animos y que yo continuara con mis fics; habia abandonado el candy mundo, hace apenas el anio anterior que volvi a publicarlos con algunos arreglos en redaccion y ortografia, creo que en esos momentos me ayuda mucho el volver a publicarlos mientras termino el que tengo en proceso, se me ha hecho muy dificil por muchas cosas, pero espero poder terminarlo.
**
**Quizas muchas puedan comprender que a veces tienes las ideas pero para plasmarlas si que es muy dificil.**
8. Capitulo 8
**LA MENTIRA **
**CAPITULO VIII**
**"Traidora"**
* * *
- **Señor Andrey – se escuchó por el interfono la voz de la secretaria.**
- **Si Magda – contestó Albert.**
- **Lo busca una persona, dice que es un amigo suyo – prosiguió la mujer**
- **Estoy a punto de irme, pero está bien, dile que pase – concedió él.**
**Éste escuchó que se abría la puerta y se volvía a cerrar, pero como estaba de espaldas acomodando su maletín, no vio de quien se trataba.**
- **Tome asiento enseguida le atiendo – dijo Albert, y volteó, cuando vio de quien se trataba, abrió los ojos asombrado – Terry – logró decir tras la sorpresa. **
- **¡Vaya, quien iba a imaginar que nos volveríamos a ver! – dijo Terry**
- **Ya lo creo – contestó Albert, los dos se observaron un momento - ¿a qué debo el honor de tu visita? – preguntó el rubio dándole la mano**
- **Ha pasado tanto tiempo... – le dijo Terry, tomando la mano que se le ofrecía.**
- **Es verdad, demasiado tiempo, ¿cómo has estado? – preguntó Albert y con un ademán lo invitó a sentarse**
- **Bien – respondió el actor - escuché que estabas a punto de irte, ¿puedo invitarte una copa? – preguntó Terry permaneciendo de pie – Así podríamos platicar mejor.**
- **De acuerdo, vamos – Albert aceptó y tomó su maletín.**
**Los dos hombres salieron de aquel edificio que albergaba las oficinas de la Corporación Andrey sin hablar, solo se sentía entre ellos un hilo de tensión, Albert pareciera sentir las vibraciones de Terry, quien parecía tratar de controlarse.**
**Entraron a un pequeño bar en la avenida, se veía muy discreto, era un lugar tranquilo, aunque parecía de un cierto nivel económico muy alto, un capitán de meseros los condujo a una mesa donde podrían platicar, les tomó su orden, Albert se dio cuenta que Terry estaba un poco nervioso, así que decidió comenzar la platica.**
**Bueno Terry, ¿de qué quieres hablar? – quiso el rubio saber.**
- **De... - titubeó un poco – de Candy – dijo al fin.**
- **¿De Candy? – preguntó Albert – creo que es un poco tarde para hablar de ella ¿no lo crees? **
- **Podría ser... - dijo sin ahondar mucho.**
- **¿Qué quieres saber de ella? No creo que te interese lo que le haya sucedido.**
- **Si, tienes razón, es un poco tarde para preguntar por ella – decía con sarcasmo – pero nunca es demasiado tarde en ocasiones... **
- **¿Entonces? **
- **¿Está ella aquí en Nueva York? – preguntó directo**
- **No te entiendo Terry – dijo sonriendo Albert – dejaste pasar mucho tiempo para saber de ella y hoy de buenas a primera quieres saber si está ella aquí en Nueva York... no lo sé, se me hace un poco extraña tu pregunta... realmente no lo entiendo – se mostraba sereno, tal como a ella le hubiese gustado que actuara.**
- **De acuerdo, te diré el por qué de mi pregunta, seré directo contigo – dijo Terry tomando todo el contenido de su copa de un golpe – creo que como sabrás, tengo un hijo, el cual me contó que por casualidad conoció a una mujer... – Albert lo escuchaba alzando las cejas – no tendría relevancia si no fuera por la descripción que me dio de ella.**
- **¿Ah si? ¿Y eso que tiene que ver con Candy?**
- **Que precisamente la mujer que conoció, se llama Candy – dijo Terry**
- **Nueva York es muy grande Terry – lo interrumpió Albert – pueden existir demasiadas mujeres llamadas Candy.**
- **Tienes razón – aceptó Terry – pero no todas las Candy's son de cabello rubio rizado, no todas tienen sus ojos verdes, además... – su voz lo traicionó en el momento menos oportuno al terminar – no todas tienen pecas en la nariz**
- **Si, tienes razón, Candy es única – dijo sonriente Albert – pero sigo sin entender, ¿eso que tiene que ver?**
- **Que precisamente es la descripción que me dio mi hijo de la mujer que conoció y que precisamente se llama Candy.**
**Albert dio un suspiro, sabía que era ella, no había tantas mujeres así, él lo sabía, además recordó que Candy había contado en el desayuno que había conocido la noche anterior a un muchacho, ¿acaso era demasiada la casualidad? Además de que también había conocido a su hija.**
- **Está bien Terry, pero supongamos que precisamente esa mujer a la que se refiere tu hijo, casualmente sea Candy ¿qué se supone harías? – preguntó Albert con ironía.**
- **¿Qué que haría? Lo más lógico en un padre que se preocupa por su hijo, me opondría a que él se acercara a una mujer mayor – respondió escandalizado.**
- **Vamos Terry, no me vengas ahora con actitudes moralistas, pocas personas me sorprenden y lo sabes, o acaso los años han hecho mella en ti, por favor, no me decepciones – Albert seguía sonriente pero imprimiéndole ironía a cada una de sus palabras.**
- **¿Qué insinúas? – preguntó enojado Terry – mi vida privada no tiene nada que ver, simplemente no estoy de acuerdo en eso, no permitiré que mi hijo esté cerca de ella.**
- **¿Por qué Terry?, ¿Por qué se trata precisamente de Candy?, ¿Qué tiene que ver? – le preguntó – ella es una mujer libre, puede atraer a cualquier hombre, y vaya que puede hacerlo, además, elegir al que ella quiera y más le plazca.**
- **En eso estás equivocado, no puede elegir al que ella quiera, no a mi hijo, ¡es un niño! – dio un golpe a la mesa haciendo tambalear las copas.**
- **Que poco conoces a Candy – le dijo Albert mirándolo - ¿la crees capaz de hacerle daño a alguien? – le preguntó serio.**
- **Si, la creo capaz – dijo sin titubear Terry.**
- **Entonces, creo que no tenemos nada más de qué hablar – dijo Albert y se levantó de la mesa alejándose de ahí, sin darle oportunidad a Terry de hablar más.**
- **¡Mesero! – llamó Terry – ¡tráigame otra copa!**
**El hombre le llevó otra copa, la cual apuró nuevamente el actor, y sin querer en su mente se volvieron a ver imágenes de un pasado que siempre quería evitar recordar.**
**_"Cuando te vi dando vueltas por la habitación mientras yo estaba herido, no podía creer que te tenía junto a mi de nuevo, siempre hacia lo mismo, me iba como todas las noches después de los ensayos, a tomar una copa y terminaba embriagándome siempre, pero aquella noche cuando me di cuenta, tu estabas curando mis heridas, olvidé que me había pasado, olvidé incluso el dolor físico de los golpes que había recibido antes... todo lo olvidé, solamente tenía presente el contacto de tus manos sobre mi piel, y después, con tal de no dejarte ir, no hice caso a mis dolores, nada era más curativo que sentirte cerca de mi, tocar tu piel, sentir tus labios en los míos, qué importaba mi dolor físico si te tenía abrazada junto a mí... ¡qué glorioso fue cuando me entregaste todo! ¡Tus promesas! Escucharte decir ¡Te amo, me quedaré para siempre contigo... vayámonos juntos al fin del mundo! Dijiste... fue la noche más feliz de mi vida, amarte completa y plenamente, fuiste mía, sólo mía... pero... al amanecer, la luz del día iluminó mi derrota... estaba solo en aquella habitación impregnada de tu aroma... me habías hecho creer que estarías conmigo... yo de estúpido creí en ti ¿Qué si no creo que eres capaz de hacerle daño a alguien? ¡Claro que te creo capaz! ¡Yo soy la prueba del daño que hiciste!... ¡Y por eso, no permitiré que mi hijo se acerque a ti!..."_**
**Una tercera copa terminó con aquellos pensamientos que Terry tenía, parecía querer borrar con el sabor del alcohol la furia que aún sentía al recordar aquellos momentos en que despertó en aquel cuarto de hotel sin ella, creyéndose burlado y traicionado por Candy, cuán equivocado podría estar del nivel de sufrimiento que creía él haber sentido.**
- **Traidora – dijo por lo bajo, pagó y salió del lugar**
* * *
**Candy estaba ya lista para salir, se estaba dando los últimos toques a su arreglo, se había puesto un vestido en verde oscuro tipo terciopelo, que hacía que su piel se viera más blanca, su cabello estaba adornado con unos prendedores salpicados con pequeñas esmeraldas y su cuello también tenía una pequeña cadena con una esmeralda, el vestido entallado a su figura la hacia lucir como una afrodita, su cintura pequeña hacía ver sus caderas muy bien proporcionadas, no había duda que su cuerpo había cambiado recuperando sus añejas formas de antaño, además de que la moda actual le favorecía demasiado, puso unas pequeñas gotas de perfume Chanel no. 5, que se había convertido en su favorito.**
**Cuando salió de su recamara, ya la estaban esperando Albert y Patty, quienes estaban platicando muy cerca uno del otro, pero al verla se separaron y Candy con gusto notó el rubor de Patty.**
- **No se pongan así, creo que saben que cuentan con mi bendición – les dijo.**
- **¿De qué hablas? – dijo Patty todavía con el rubor en el rostro**
- **Vamos, no me oculten nada, estoy tan contenta, estoy ¡Feliz! de verlos así, juntos – les tomó a cada uno sus manos – saben que los quiero mucho y que deseo lo mejor para ustedes – Candy los miró – al fin se dieron cuenta de lo que existe entre ustedes... **
- **¡Candy! – dijo Patty y la abrazó – no queríamos que al vernos tú te sintieras triste.**
- **Pero ¡no seas tonta! No llores – la separó de ella y la miró – además arruinarás tu maquillaje, vamos sé feliz**
- **Candy tiene razón Patty, creo que lo anunciaremos muy pronto para que sea oficial – dijo Albert y la abrazó por los hombros, dándole un beso en la sien, mientras Candy le limpiaba las lágrimas.**
- **Vamos chicos, tenemos una cena pendiente – dijo Candy.**
**Los dos subieron al auto, mientras Albert conducía, recordó los acontecimientos que se habían ido desarrollando desde que habían llegado a Nueva York, no podía creerlo, tantos años de haber convivido con aquella mujer, tenerla como su asistente personal, trabajar hombro con hombro, hasta convertirse en alguien indispensable, tenía una capacidad de organización admirable, aunado a su inteligencia. Nunca se había dado cuenta de sus sentimientos, y ahora, verla en otro entorno diferente al de la oficina, vestida con aquellas ropas que le favorecían tanto, observarla de otra manera, se dio cuenta que la necesitaba, que todos aquellos años que la había tenido junto a él, no había habido más razón que el sentimiento que había nacido por ella.**
**Ahora entendía el por qué de su necesidad por verla todos los días cuando llegaba a la oficina, encontrarse la sonrisa que ella le brindaba, escuchar su voz cuando tenían cosas que realizar, su perfume, un perfume que cada vez que lo inhalaba penetraba en sus sentidos haciéndolo tener fantasías con ella, aunque trataba entonces de no darlas a conocer, ni decirle nada, ya que a Patty siempre la vio como a una amiga, como a la compañera sentimental de su sobrino ya fallecido, aunque poco a poco se iba metiendo en su corazón.**
**Así que Patty y Albert aprovecharon los momentos que estaban juntos para conocerse desde otra perspectiva, mientras Candy pasaba gran tiempo encerrada en su habitación. Gracias a esto se dio cuenta que era correspondido... y de qué manera.**
- **Candy, creo que tienes que saber algo – le dijo Albert tratando de cambiar sus pensamientos cuando iban ya en el auto.**
- **¿Sobre que Albert? – preguntó Candy**
- **Terry fue a verme – dijo Albert, Candy no habló y prosiguió – parece ser que llamaste la atención de su hijo...**
- **¿Y que le dijiste? – preguntó Candy**
- **Quería saber de ti, si es que estabas en Nueva York, yo no le confirmé eso, pero creo que lo sospecha...**
- **Pero ¿Qué te dijo? – preguntó disimulando su curiosidad, el simple hecho de que le nombraran a Terry era suficiente para hacerla temblar de emoción**
- **Está preocupado... piensa que serías capaz de dañar a su hijo, se ha enterado que él te conoció... yo le dije que serías incapaz de hacerle daño a alguien, pero no quiso creerlo, creo que se opondrá a que su hijo se acerque a ti... debes tener cuidado, lo noté muy enojado.**
- **No te apures, me sé cuidar – contestó. **
**Candy recordó entonces...**
- **_Candy, Candy te amo – decía Terry besando su cuello – dime que también me amas – demandaba._**
- **_Si Terry – decía con entrecortados gemidos – te amo, te amo como a nadie en el mundo._**
- **_¿Te quedarás conmigo? – preguntó besándola nuevamente en la boca – dime ¡Que te quedarás conmigo!_**
- **_Si Terry... me quedaré contigo._**
- **_Juntos comenzaremos una nueva vida, lejos de todo y de todos... tu y yo Candy, justo como estamos ahora como uno solo..._**
- **... es que no entiendo el rencor que te tiene Terry, Candy – la interrumpió Albert cortando así sus recuerdos.**
- **¿eh, ah sí? Si, tendrá sus motivos – dijo mirando hacia fuera por la ventanilla del auto, como si no le diera mayor importancia.**
**Pronto llegaron a la mansión de los O'Kerry, era enorme el lugar, tenía muchos jardines, la casa era muy elegante, aunque demasiado cargada en adornos, como si quisieran presumir de gran opulencia, a Candy le pareció demasiado todo aquello, después de ver cuanta gente tenía problemas económicos en la calle, se sintió fuera de lugar con tanto derroche en ese lugar.**
**Fueron conducidos por un mayordomo a un salón muy iluminado, había muchas personas ya reunidas, la crema y nata, aproximadamente eran más de cien personas, ahí los recibió Horace y Gladys O'Kerry.**
- **Es un placer conocerla señorita Andrey – dijo tomando su mano Horace O'Kerry, cuando se hicieron las presentaciones, no imaginó que era un hombre mayor de sesenta años – es usted una dama muy hermosa.**
- **Mucho gusto señor O'Kerry – dijo Candy.**
- **Mi esposa Gladys – dijo señalando a una mujer de aproximadamente cuarenta años, pero que se veía mucho más joven, gracias a los arreglos y el maquillaje que tenía.**
- **Mucho gusto señorita Andrey – dijo la mujer y a Candy le tomó muy poco darse cuenta que era la misma voz que había escuchado la noche anterior en el baile, cuando ella se encontraba en la terraza, ¿acaso esta era la mujer con quien Terry mantenía una relación secreta?**
- **El gusto es para mi – dijo mirándola – "así que ésta es la mujer con la que Terry mantiene una relación secreta... no es posible que se comporte de esa manera..." – pensó Candy censurando así el comportamiento de Terry**
**Después de las presentaciones con los anfitriones caminaron hacia el salón que estaba repleto de gente, misma que parecían conocer a Albert, así que éste se encargó de presentar a Candy con todos, rostros y manos desfilaron por Candy, quien después no recordó ninguno de ellos. **
**Sin saber de qué forma, se había quedado de pronto sola, ya que Albert estaba platicando con otros señores banqueros y Patty había encontrado unos conocidos, así que se quedó sentada en uno de los sillones que había disponibles mientras miraba sin ver a las personas.**
- **Sabía que estarías aquí – escuchó una voz que le hizo que el aire le faltara y sintió como si le dieran un golpe en el estómago**
- **Te... - Candy no acabó de completar la palabra, solamente tenía abiertos los ojos como dos platos**
**Terry la miraba con una sonrisa maliciosa y sus ojos transmitían una ironía al verla ponerse nerviosa.**
- **¿Cuánto tiempo más creíste que te esconderías? – preguntó con sarcasmo.**
- **No me escondo de nadie – contestó ella en el mismo tono tratando de aparentar un aplomo que estaba muy lejos de sentir.**
- **Ya veo... ha pasado mucho tiempo Candy – dijo Terry.**
- **Demasiado – contestó.**
- **Estás distinta Candy – dijo suavemente.**
- **Gracias – contestó sin mirarlo, parecía estar más interesada en ver el contenido de su copa.**
- **Necesito hablar contigo – dijo de pronto Terry.**
- **¿Hablar conmigo? ¿De qué podríamos hablar? – dijo ella sonriendo y volteando a mirarlo lentamente.**
- **De muchas cosas... creo que me debes una explicación – dijo.**
- **No creo deberte nada... **
- **¡Oh si! Claro que me debes una explicación del por qué te marchaste sin decirme nada... solamente un pedazo de papel...**
- **Han pasado muchos años ¿aún continúas recordando ese incidente? – dijo con fastidio.**
- **No lo olvido... - contestó él – porque no entiendo lo que pasó...**
- **No hay nada que explicar... tu tenías un compromiso... yo tenía otro compromiso... cada quien tenía que continuar por su lado... – ella hablaba restándole importancia al asunto.**
- **¿O sea que prácticamente me engañaste? – él sintió que la herida comenzaba a sangrar nuevamente.**
- **¿Engañarte? – preguntó con inocencia – no te entiendo.**
- **Si, me prometiste quedarte, me hiciste muchas promesas, por ti iba a abandonar todo, pero no fue suficiente para ti – le reprochó.**
- **Tú sabías que no podía hacerlo, había alguien de por medio... – Candy trataba de hablar en voz baja.**
- **Alguien que no me importaba... – refutó él y continuó – que nunca me ha importado.**
**Entonces se escucharon los acordes de un vals... aquel que bailaron un día en el colegio.**
- **Ven, bailemos, es nuestro vals – Terry la tomó de la mano y no le dio tiempo a negarse, ya que prácticamente la jaló, llevándola al centro del salón, comenzando a bailar – ha pasado mucho tiempo – Candy sentía su aliento sobre su sien.**
- **No me aprietes tanto – dijo Candy hablando bajo. **
- **¿Por qué? No creo que la estés pasando mal – dijo burlón.**
- **Estamos dando un mal espectáculo...**
- **¿Y qué? Que todo mundo se dé cuenta – y puso posesivamente su mano en la espalda de Candy**
- **¿Si?, ¿Se den cuenta de qué, de qué soy tu nueva conquista? – lo miró con ironía, él sonrió de medio lado.**
- **No creas en todo lo que dicen. **
- **¿Ah no? Entonces ¿por qué nos mira tan feo nuestra anfitriona? – le preguntó con burla Candy.**
- **No lo sé – contestó con cinismo y sonrió – olvídate de eso... continuemos con nuestra charla.**
- **Te repito que no hay nada que hablar o explicar... han pasado muchos años de eso – dijo fingiendo no dar importancia Candy – en realidad, pensé que lo habrías olvidado.**
- **De acuerdo, no hablaremos de eso... aún – la miró con advertencia – pero hablaremos de otra cosa.**
- **¿De qué podríamos hablar? ¿De tu romance con la Señora O'Kerry? – soltó ella con inocencia.**
**Los ojos de él chispearon, pero no ahondaría en ese tema.**
- **No, eso no tiene la mayor importancia. Es sobre algo verdaderamente importante y creo que sabes a qué me refiero, ¿acaso Albert no te comentó sobre mi visita? – preguntó. **
- **Si, me habló de ello ¿hay algún problema? – contestó ella.**
- **Claro que si, y no permitiré... - bajó entonces su voz, se acercó a ella de manera que solamente ella pudiera escuchar, Candy se estremeció al sentir la boca de él rozar su oreja –... que mi hijo se acerque más a ti.**
- **¿Me estás amenazando acaso? – contestó mirándolo, sosteniéndole la mirada, sus rostros estaban muy juntos, ella podía sentir claramente el aliento de él y él, el de ella. **
- **Puedes tomarlo como quieras – continuó Terry – él es un niño aún...**
- **Tu tenías la misma edad cuando te fijaste en una mujer – habló ella mirándolo con desafío y burla. **
- **Pero yo no me fijé en una mujer mayor que yo... - contestó también. **
- **Has tomado un poco – dijo ella retirándose de él – no me parece que debiéramos tener esta platica ahora... **
- **¡Ah no! Será ahora... acompáñame donde podamos hablar... ¿o preferirías que se dieran cuenta que estás tratando de cazar a un chico? – le dijo desafiándola, Candy sonrió con burla, lo que hizo sentir hervir la sangre de Terry con furia.**
- **Tienes razón, le debo mucho a Albert, para pagarle con un escándalo, lo cual sé que serías capaz de hacer... – contestó al fin Candy y se dejó conducir por Terry.**
**Así que se encaminaron a una puerta que daba a un jardín, bajaron unos pocos escalones, comenzaron a caminar, Candy pudo admirar que el jardín estaba muy bien cuidado, había muchos arbustos, muchas plantas y árboles, además de una fuente que estaba funcionando en esos momentos, alrededor de ésta, había pequeñas bancas donde podían sentarse, pero Terry la condujo a otro punto más alejado de la casa, donde había árboles que les ocultarían.**
- **¡Vaya, parece que conoces muy bien el lugar! – dijo sarcástica. **
- **Vengo muy seguido aquí – contestó, pero Candy no pudo ver su expresión, ya que además de que estaba oscuro, iba caminando delante de ella.**
- **¿Hasta donde iremos? – preguntó – estamos muy alejados – y volteó hacia atrás viendo cómo se tapaba la casa con los árboles.**
**Terry no contestó, y entonces llegaron a un lugar muy bonito, era como un invernadero con techo, había muchas flores de diferentes especies, las cuales parecían tener un cuidado especial, gracias a la temperatura y cubierta del lugar.**
- **Es muy bonito... - dijo Candy admirando el lugar.**
- **Ya lo creo... - dijo Terry – aquí podremos hablar sin ser interrumpidos.**
**Candy a pesar de todo y de aparentar no estar nerviosa, muy dentro de ella tenía el temor de las reacciones que pudiera tener Terry en esos momentos, ya que además, sabía que traía unas copas encima y él no era muy confiable en esas condiciones.**
- **Creo que no debí venir... – dijo temerosa - Terry ¿qué te parece si hablamos después? – decía encaminándose a la puerta.**
- **¡No! – dijo alzando un poco la voz - ¡dije que hablaremos ahora y eso es lo que haremos! ¿o qué, me tienes miedo?**
- **¡Claro que no! – le contestó - Está bien ¿De qué quieres hablar? – dijo Candy cruzando los brazos.**
- **De mi hijo... - contestó éste.**
- **¿Tu hijo?, perdón, pero no entiendo, en primera ¿quién es tu hijo? – dijo Candy comenzando desde ese momento a fingir, no quería que adivinara sus reacciones.**
- **¡Vamos Candy! Lo sabes muy bien... – dijo. **
- **No, no lo sé, explícame – dijo ella **
- **Se llama Kyle Granchester... - dijo observando a Candy, pero ella fingía desconocer el nombre.**
- **No recuerdo haber conocido a ningún Kyle Granchester – contestó disimulando.**
- **Mi hijo me contó que te había conocido en un baile hace unas noches y te vio hoy en la mañana en un café y se sentó contigo – comenzó a decir Terry con impaciencia.**
- **¡Ah si! – dijo Candy como si de repente se le viniera a la mente ese momento – Un chico de ojos verdes – sonrió fingiendo placer.**
- **Ajá... - Terry sonrió con alivio.**
- **Verdes como los míos – aseveró Candy provocativa.**
- **Si... como los tuyos – aceptó borrando la sonrisa. **
- **¿Y qué tiene que ver conmigo? – preguntó Candy sonriendo con inocencia.**
- **¿Qué que tiene que ver contigo? ¡Que le gustas a mi hijo! – dijo con exasperación.**
- **Vaya, me siento halagada – contestó Candy sonriendo – ¿para esto me trajiste hasta aquí? No lo entiendo Terry... **
- **¿No entiendes? – preguntó él.**
- **No – respondió ella con petulancia.**
- **Bien, te lo diré de esta manera ¡aléjate de él! – se acercó a ella con la furia pintada en sus ojos de manera que Candy quedó entre la pared y el cuerpo de él.**
- **¿Por qué Terry? Tu hijo es lo suficientemente mayor para elegir lo que él quiera – ella hablaba con desafío cargado en sus palabras.**
- **¡No es así! No es aún lo suficiente mayor para saber lo que hace – explotó él.**
- **¿No? Que yo recuerde, tu a su edad, decidiste vivir solo, abandonar el Colegio, a tu padre, a... todo, ¿y quién lo evitó? ¡Nadie! ¿y ahora quieres venir a manejar la vida de tu hijo? Lo que no permitiste hacer a tu propio padre... incluso reñiste con él por interferir en tu vida**
- **Lo hago para que precisamente no cometa los mismos errores... **
- **Entonces, te has equivocado de persona, porque no es a mí a quien tienes que decirle todo esto... yo soy una mujer madura, sin compromisos – sonrió irónica remarcando esta última palabra – capaz de elegir y fijarme en el hombre que yo quiera...**
- **¡Puedes elegir al que tú quieras! – dijo enojado - ¡pero no a mi hijo!**
- **¿Por qué? ¿Por qué es tu hijo? O ¿por qué yo soy precisamente la mujer en la que se fijó? – preguntó burlándose.**
- **¡Diablos Candy! – dijo furioso – ¡No me provoques! – dando un golpe a la pared donde estaba recargada Candy haciendo que ésta diera un salto.**
- **¡Y tú tampoco me puedes obligar a nada! – le dijo dándole un empujón.**
**Terry y ella se miraron con furia, de aquellos ojos verdes femeninos y de los azules masculinos, parecían saltar chispas, se sentía una tensión que se podía cortar con unas tijeras, Terry desconocía a aquella mujer que se estaba enfrentando a él ¿dónde había quedado la dulzura que la caracterizaba? No conocía aquella faceta de Candy, no entendía que cambios había habido en ella para ser la que era ahora, en la mirada de ella había dureza, le había contestado con los mismos tonos que él había empleado, la desconocía por completo.**
- **¿Crees que no puedo obligarte a nada? – dijo Terry y sorpresivamente sin darle tiempo a Candy de reaccionar, en un rápido movimiento la empujó a la pared con su cuerpo, haciendo que sus brazos la inmovilizaran, quedando sus cuerpos juntos – ¿crees que no puedo hacerlo? Vamos Candy... demuéstrame que eres más fuerte, oblígame a dejarte en paz...**
**Candy se desconcertó, no sabía que sucedía, sintió temor de aquel arrebato de Terry, tenía frente a ella por escasos centímetros el rostro de ese hombre, podía ver de cerca sus azules ojos, había pasado tanto tiempo y seguían siendo los mismos, no habían cambiado, cuántas veces los vio de esa manera... reflejando emociones... la manera en cómo se oscurecían cuando tenía esos sentimientos... sentía el cuerpo duro de Terry apretándola, quitándole el aire, sentía su aliento, sabía que había bebido varios whiskeys... pero ella se obligó así misma a mantenerse fría, a sostenerle la mirada... jamás le demostraría todos los sentimientos y emociones que estaba sintiendo por tenerlo tan cerca de ella, toda la excitación que estaba comenzando a correr por sus venas... ni tampoco le haría notar que desde su vientre comenzaba a subir una calidez como si fuera de lava incandescente de un volcán a punto de hacer erupción... no le daría ese gusto...**
**Ella no imaginaba lo que sentía Terry en aquellos momentos, todos los sentimientos se estaban conjugando en él... ira... furia... pasión... excitación... tenerla así junto a él... el cuerpo de ella de nuevo pegado al de él... ver de nuevo aquellos verdes ojos y el cómo se oscurecían transmitiendo la pasión que estaba comenzando a crecer en ella... sintió ganas de sumergirse en aquellas lagunas... perderse completamente en ellas... y su aroma... ¡Dios su aroma! Se adentraba en sus sentidos embriagándolo... perdiéndolo completamente sin dejarlo pensar... opacando el hilo de cordura que el alcohol no había hecho.**
**Ninguno de los dos se daba cuenta que se iban acercando poco a poco, escasos milímetros separaban sus labios, era un beso largamente esperado, pero un ruido proveniente de afuera los detuvo, se miraron... **
- **Suéltame – dijo ella en un susurro. **
- **No... - contestó él.**
- **Suéltame... – le pidió en voz baja en una suave súplica.**
- **No Candy... no puedo... no quiero... – su voz se enronquecía conforme pasaba más impregnándose de aquel aroma.**
- **Déjame ir...**
- **Déjame estar así un momento... – el movimiento de los labios de Candy lo tenían completamente bajo su poder.**
- **Terry... - pronunció su nombre con un suspiro.**
- **Candy... - dijo él, separando lentamente una mano, la alzó hasta el cuello de ella de manera que atrapó su barbilla, parecía un grillete envolviéndole el cuello**
- **No Terry... - le suplicó al ver que él se iba acercando a ella de manera peligrosa a sus labios.**
- **Shh... no digas nada – susurró él en sus labios antes de atraparlos y besarlos con pasión, ella se resistió a ese beso, los labios de él eran duros, parecían querer castigarla, pero al mismo tiempo parecían querer hacerla rendirse, doblegarla, pero no podía... aflojó de momento los brazos...**
**Candy sintió cómo el abrazo en el que estaba se iba relajando, abrió un poco sus labios para dar cabida a que éste profundizara su beso, seduciéndolo, incitándolo, Terry sintió hervir su sangre nuevamente, solamente con ella podía experimentar todo eso, él no entendía como ella podía ser capaz de hacerle experimentar todas aquellas emociones con un solo movimiento.**
**De repente se escuchó un ruido ¡PLAFF!**
**Terry se separó de ella tocándose la mejilla, la miró, en ella se reflejaba la furia, lo había abofeteado.**
- **¡Nunca vuelvas a besarme Terrence Granchester! – le espetó mientras sus ojos brillaban de una forma en la que él jamás le hubiera visto.**
**Terry solo atinó a devolverle la misma mirada, aunque no con la furia que aquellas esmeraldas mostraban, dirigió sus dedos a sus labios al sentir un hilillo caliente, era sangre, el golpe que le había propinado Candy había sido muy fuerte.**
**Candy le dirigió una última mirada, misma que él no supo descifrar, ella aprovecho ese momento para salir, al principio con altivez y una seguridad que estaba lejos de sentir, para luego alejarse corriendo de aquel lugar, corrió, corrió hasta llegar a la entrada del salón por el jardín, antes de entrar controló su sofocación, volteó a mirar hacia atrás temiendo que Terry viniera detrás de ella, no lo vio, así que al entrar, se dirigió a Albert quien estaba con Patty platicando en un sillón.**
- **¡Candy! ¿Te sientes bien? – dijo Albert al verla tan pálida – ¿qué te ha sucedido?**
- **Yo... no me siento bien ¿podríamos irnos? – le dijo tratando de controlar sus emociones.**
- **Si, está bien, iré a despedirme de nuestros anfitriones y te excusaré a ti y a Patty para que me esperen y nos podamos ir – le dijo Albert alejándose.**
- **Vamos Candy – dijo Patty y la abrazó, llevándola hacia el exterior.**
**Esperaron a Albert en la puerta de la entrada de la casa, donde un sirviente les trajo sus abrigos, a los pocos minutos llegó Albert, quien las acompañó hasta su auto.**
**Ahí emprendieron su camino, Albert iba observando a Candy por el retrovisor, realmente se veía muy mal, estaba pálida, sin duda había enfrentado una situación muy difícil, se imaginó con quien, ella no hablaba, Patty iba a su lado abrazándola, con una mirada ésta le dijo que no preguntara nada, Albert entendió, después hablarían.**
**Cuando llegaron a su departamento, Patty iba a ayudarla a desvestirse, pero Candy no se lo permitió:**
- **Estaré bien – les dijo Candy – no se preocupen.**
- **¿Te sientes bien? – le preguntó Patty con preocupación.**
- **Si, estaré bien – sonrió un poco recuperando el autocontrol para no preocupar de más a sus amigos – lamento haberles arruinado la velada, perdón... – dijo Candy y se encerró.**
**Ahí dio rienda suelta a sus pensamientos, no podía creer que Terry la tratara de aquella manera, la miraba con tanto rencor, pero después de haber discutido con él, de exigirle prácticamente que no viera a su hijo, como había cambiado.**
**La desconcertó con aquel arrebato de pasión que había tenido, no imaginó que la pudiera hacer sentir todo aquello con el simple hecho de tocarla, o de estar junto a él, creyó que podía evitar sentir aquellas emociones, pero era imposible, lo llevaba grabado en su alma, con una tinta indeleble, imborrable.**
**Había hecho un gran esfuerzo para poder controlarse, escondiendo las ansias que la embargaban por corresponder ese beso, pero se sintió vencida cuando volvió a tocar sus labios, su sabor seguía siendo el mismo, ella se sentía mal, confundida, no podía creer que con tener ese tipo de acercamiento se nublara la razón y la hiciera caer en sus brazos sin oponer resistencia, pero aunque ella ya no era la misma chica inocente y soñadora de antes, sabía también que era cera derritiéndose en las manos de él, pero lo había logrado, o al menos eso pensaba.**
**Ahora vendría lo peor, sabía que no la iba a dejar en paz, más ahora que estaría tan cerca, pero no iba a abandonar su empeño en recuperar a sus hijos, aún cuando Terry se opusiera a ello, conquistaría a sus hijos, pasaría por quien se pusiera en medio, se enfrentaría con Susana y arreglarían viejas cuentas.**
**Lo que si tenía que evitar era el volver a estar cerca de él, no sabía cuanto tiempo podría mantenerse fría ante su presencia, sabía bien lo que seguía sintiendo por él.**
**Aunque quien sabe, los caminos que nos traza el destino no siempre pueden eludirse... aún tenía demasiado dolor y resentimiento hacía quienes la habían dañado, que no descansaría hasta lograr su objetivo. Aun y cuando Terry se enterase de la verdad, soportaría su rechazo y su condena, pero no podía permitirse más tiempo alejada de sus hijos, demasiado castigo había sufrido ya, era hora de que la vida le resarciera todo ese tiempo de infelicidad, olvido y soledad.**
**Continuará…**
* * *
**NOTITAS: Simplemente gracias por sus comentarios!**
9. Chapter 9
**LA MENTIRA**
**CAPITULO IX**
**"Aún me amas"**
...
Candy estaba en la terraza del departamento almorzando, era ya tarde, Albert y Patty habían salido, así que estaba ella sola, no se sentía bien aquella mañana como para salir a la calle, así que quiso quedarse dentro del departamento, además creyó conveniente que Patty y Albert pasaran más tiempo juntos, picaba su comida, su semblante estaba pálido, ya que casi no había podido dormir, traía su cabello suelto, el cual se rizaba de manera muy natural, brillaba con la luz del sol, en sus verdes ojos se notaba la tristeza, no podía creer que Terry la tratara de aquella manera, aunque tampoco quería contarle nada de su pasado, si algo no podía soportar a esas alturas de su vida era que los demás le tuviesen lastima, la tristeza y el dolor no podría borrarlos de la noche a la mañana, pero se esforzaría para fortalecerse día con día.
Habían pasado ya varios días de aquel incidente con Terry, se ponía nerviosa cada vez que escuchaba el timbre de su departamento, creía que él vendría a buscarla y tendrían un nuevo enfrentamiento, aún después de haber transcurrido esos días no podía quitarse aquella sensación de sus labios sobre los de ella, su sabor, pensaba en él.
Se escuchó el timbre de nuevo, cortando así sus pensamientos, sacudió su cabeza para despejarse y se levantó para abrir, le intrigaba el hecho de que sonara con tanta insistencia pues a ella nadie la visitaba, sino regularmente a Albert y Patty, la doncella le había pedido licencia para ausentarse unos días y la cocinera usualmente no se encargaba de aquellos menesteres.
- _"Quizá sea algún despistado que se equivocó de dirección" _– pensó para sí mientras llegaba a la puerta para abrir.
Pasó frente a un espejo y vio su atuendo, no estaba completamente arreglada, portaba un vestido sencillo, ya que no tenía a donde salir ese día, su cabello suelto, y traía unas zapatillas muy bajas, no traía ni una gota de maquillaje, pero no sentía necesitarlos en casa, no le dio importancia a su arreglo.
Cuando abrió la puerta, sus ojos se abrieron con asombro, no podía creer al ver de quien se trataba la visita.
- Buenos días señora Candy.
- Kyle – dijo suavemente y sus ojos cambiaron su expresión por completo, llenándose de una alegría secreta – Hola…
- ¿Puedo pasar? – inquirió él al ver que ella se había quedado muda.
- ¿Eh? ¡ah si! Perdona mi descortesía, pasa – lo invitó.
- Gracias ¡ah! Traje esto, son para usted –Kyle le entregó un pequeño ramo de margaritas.
- ¡Oh son muy lindas! Gracias Kyle – ella las tomó y aspiró su aroma– ¿gustas tomar algo? Un café, un jugo, lo que quieras – dijo conduciéndolo a la terraza.
- ¡Oh perdón si interrumpí su almuerzo! – habló el chico apenado mirando el servicio en la mesa.
- No tiene la menor importancia, siéntate, ¿café?
- Si, gracias – Candy le sirvió una taza y lo miró, estaba realmente nervioso y sonrió para tranquilizarlo.
- ¿Cómo supiste donde vivo? – preguntó ella con interés, pero sin dejar de observarlo.
- Pues… no fue tan difícil, la Familia Andrey es muy reconocida… tenía ganas de verla… ya que la otra ocasión, no tuve oportunidad de platicar con usted – Candy lo escuchaba con mucha atención – ya ve, mi hermana nos interrumpió.
- Es muy linda tu hermana por cierto – comentó casual la rubia.
- Si, y demasiado caprichosa, mi… madre la consiente mucho – cuando Kyle nombró a su madre, Candy sintió un pinchazo en el corazón.
- Ya veo, y tú, ¿cómo te llevas con ella? – preguntó aventurándose en un terreno que sabía le dolería.
- Pues… no tenemos muy buena relación – dijo secamente y mirando a otro lugar.
- ¿Por qué? – preguntó apenada al observar el fondo de los ojos de su hijo – yo, lamento haber preguntado.
- No se preocupe, no es algo que desee ocultar. En realidad yo, no lo sé, nunca nos hemos llevado bien, creo que quiere más a mi hermana, aunque me llevo muy bien con mi padre – sonrió – prefiero estar en el colegio y pasar más tiempo con mi abuelo – Candy intuyó que las asperezas de Terry con su padre se habían limado un poco – aunque papá me visita y pasa varios días conmigo…
- Ya veo ¿y que estudias? – preguntó tratando de cambiar el tema, ya que se había dado cuenta que su hijo se había puesto un poco triste, notó que era un chico sensible.
- Estudiaré medicina – contestó y Candy sintió una emoción al saber esa preferencia de su hijo.
- ¡Qué bien! – ella sonrió y agregó – yo fui enfermera.
- ¡En verdad!, que interesante, tendremos mucho de que platicar – el joven recobró el brillo de sus ojos en cuestión de segundos.
Y así pasaron la mañana platicando, Candy quiso saber tantas cosas de su hijo, conocerlo un poco, fue así como supo que al chico le gustaba montar a caballo, "lo heredó de su padre" se dijo Candy, había sido integrante del equipo de equitación, era muy inteligente, el primero en su clase, le gustaba convivir con la naturaleza, conoció quizás mucho de su hijo aquella mañana, pero llegó el momento en que tendría que irse, ya que su padre quizás había llegado a su casa y no quería tener problemas con él.
- Visítame cuantas veces quieras – le dijo Candy cuando lo despidió en la puerta.
- Gracias señora – dijo sonriendo Kyle.
- Llámame Candy.
- Está bien… Candy, la pasé muy bien – aseguró el chico.
- Otro día montaremos a caballo juntos ¿te parece? – se aventuró ella a sugerir – podríamos ir al club hípico.
- ¡Si, me encantaría! – aceptó alegre mientras tomaba entre sus manos la de Candy y besaba su dorso con gentileza.
- Bien, hasta luego – dijo Candy.
- Hasta luego – se despidió.
Candy cerró la puerta tras de ella, había sido una mañana hermosa, si en algún momento había tenido cabida la tristeza, ésta se esfumó casi en su totalidad, no tenía comparación lo que había vivido en esos momentos, sus ojos se llenaron de lagrimas mientras se dirigía a su recamara, junto a su cama estaba la fotografía donde estaban sus dos pequeños, ya que la noche que había sucedido el incidente con Terry la había recortado de manera que solamente se veían los dos niños.
Lo que había vivido ahora no se comparaba con nada, aunque no pudo evitar pensar en lo que pudo haber estado junto a ellos, verlos crecer día a día, convivir con ellos, saber sus temores y alegrías.
Por más que trataba de no sentir tristeza, no podía evitar añorar todos esos años perdidos por una infamia, pero no se caería, no esta vez, así que trató de encontrar el lado amable, su pequeño de ojos verdes era un buen chico, tenía buenos sentimientos, por el momento trataría de brindarle una amistad, el chico se sentía solo, y quizás confundiera los sentimientos, pero trataría de hablar con él después.
Miró las margaritas que le había traído, su corazón se llenó de una calidez que no había experimentado, su hijo, su pequeño, sólo eso importaba por el momento.
* * *
Cuando Kyle llegó a casa, su hermana le dijo que su padre lo había estado buscando, y con un dejo de malicia le dijo que estaba muy enfadado.
- Con seguridad estuviste con aquella mujer – le dijo Dana.
- No entiendo por qué eres así conmigo… – le contestó Kyle triste.
- Sigo siendo la misma – aseveró ella.
- No hermana, antes eras diferente conmigo, ahora pareciera que sintieras un rechazo por mi – hablaba mirándola a los ojos.
- ¡No digas tonterías! Simplemente no entiendo tus acciones – se defendió ella.
- No, no es eso, pareciera que gozas tratándome de esta manera… no entiendo por qué… pero espero de todo corazón que vuelvas a ser la misma de siempre, eres mi hermana, te quiero mucho y quiero que seamos amigos, no sé que pudo haber pasado para que cambiaras conmigo… pero espero que podamos llevarnos bien de nuevo – le dijo Kyle dejándola sola.
Dana lo miró alejarse escaleras arriba, él le había acariciado la mejilla como solía hacerlo cuando pequeño, lo miró con tristeza, a veces no entendía por qué lo trataba así, quizás por tantas cosas que le decía su madre, que Kyle era una persona muy diferente a ella, o que si su padre lo quería más que a ella, cosas así, aunque sabía que los dos eran adoptados, también sabía que debía estar junto a su hermano, apoyándolo, pero también se sentía obligada a tratarlo así, por lealtad a su madre, aunque en ocasiones tampoco entendía el por qué del rechazo de su madre hacia su hermano.
* * *
- ¿Dónde has estado? – preguntó enojado Terry, al verlo entrar, lo había estado esperando en su recamara.
- Caminando por ahí – contestó Kyle a su padre.
- ¿Ah si? Caminando por ahí – repitió – ¿de casualidad tu camino no llegó hasta una mujer llamada Candy? – Kyle no le contestó – te hice una pregunta – volvió a decir Terry
- De acuerdo, la visité – dijo Kyle dándose por vencido – no tiene nada de malo.
- ¿Crees que no tiene nada de malo? Es una mujer mayor…
- ¿Y eso qué? No le veo algún inconveniente – contestó Kyle – no hice nada malo.
- Kyle, hijo, las mujeres mayores quieren atrapar un muchacho joven como tu, solamente buscan divertirse, les hacen daño a los chicos buenos como tu, eres muy joven aún, conocerás otras chicas de tu edad.
- Papá, Candy es diferente…
- Ahora es Candy, antes era la señora Candy – dijo con ironía.
- Es una buena persona… además, por si eso fuera poco es una dama muy bella, cualquier hombre se sentiría orgulloso de traerla de su brazo – Kyle hablaba con entusiasmo.
- Kyle, no quiero que estés cerca de ella – Terry no podía mirarlo, escuchar a su hijo expresarse de esa forma lo lastimaba.
- ¿Por qué? – preguntó sin entender.
- No quiero que salgas lastimado.
- ¿Lastimado, por qué papá? – no entendía las razones de su padre
- Porque posiblemente tendrá un marido… un novio ¡qué se yo!
- No lo tiene.
- ¿Cómo lo sabes? – preguntó tratando de no aparentar interés.
- Me dijo que regresó hace unos meses de Francia – Terry alzó las cejas con interés – que fue enfermera militar, le tocó estar cerca del frente de guerra, y ahí se quedó a vivir por un tiempo
- ¿Y nunca se casó?
- No, nunca – contestó Kyle.
- De cualquier forma hijo, prométeme que no continuarás la relación con esa mujer – le dijo Terry.
- Lo siento mucho papá, pero no puedo prometerte eso – contestó Kyle.
- Kyle te ordeno…
- No papá, no puedes obligarme a dejar de verla… – le sostuvo la mirada, era de la misma estatura de Terry, así que se sentía capaz de enfrentar a su padre, los ojos verdes de Kyle se oscurecían tratando de controlarse, a pesar de todo, también tenía los genes de Terry y podía experimentar el mismo nivel de furia
- ¡Diablos Kyle! – dijo Terry enojado.
No dijo más y salió de la habitación de su hijo, Kyle se quedó mirando por la ventana, estaba enojado y confundido con aquella actitud de su padre, no entendía por qué quería obligarlo a separarse de Candy, si lo poco que había conocido de ella le había simpatizado, sentía una atracción desconocida hacía ella, algo que no entendía, pero que le hacía sentir querer desear estar a su lado, tenía una calidez tan relajante, se sentía tranquilo a su lado, como si le proporcionara mucha paz.
- Así que el pequeño prodigio tiene una relación con una mujer y encima mayor que él… – dijo una voz interrumpiendo sus pensamientos
- Madre… – dijo Kyle volteando a mirarla, Susana estaba parada en el quicio de su puerta, vestida elegantemente como siempre, con un peinado que no parecía salir un solo cabello, apoyada con su bastón, lo miraba despectiva, no había duda que el chico era muy apuesto, tenía todo el porte y presencia de Terry, había heredado toda su galanura, alto, de cuerpo esbelto por el ejercicio que hacía, su rostro había tomado los rasgos también de Terry, pero sus ojos la hacían que siempre recordara a aquella que tanto odiaba, eso era lo que hacía sentir una aversión por él – ¿deseas algo? – preguntó Kyle
- Parece ser que eres el que dará más problemas aquí… – dijo Susana – no pareces entender aún, que nos debes mucho… – Kyle volteó la mirada – ahora resulta que andas de noviecito con una mujer que podría ser tu madre… sí, ya me enteré – dijo como si le contestara al mirarla Kyle con interrogación – ¡qué tragedia! Una mujer que podría ser tu madre… ¿crees que es muy buena? – preguntó Susana con malicia – ¿Te ha contado de su pasado? – Kyle no le contestaba – aunque creo que harían buena pareja tu y ella, serían tal para cual… ¿sabías tú que también ella es una… recogida? ¿no lo sabías? ¡qué tristeza! Deberías preguntarle, pregúntale sobre su vida, veremos qué mentiras te cuenta – dijo y dándole una última mirada de desprecio comenzó a caminar para retirarse de la puerta de la habitación de éste.
- ¡Vaya!, pareciera que la conoces muy bien, tienes información para mí, _madre, _aunque últimamente he pensado en que el llamarte de esa forma te es tan repulsiva que creo que de ahora en adelante para mi serás la Sra. Marlowe– Kyle había adoptado la misma actitud indolente que Terry tenía en ocasiones, aquellas palabras tomaron por sorpresa a Susana.
- Sra. Granchester, muchacho insolente, ya que así lo deseas – dio la vuelta y se alejo de ahí, la mirada que Kyle le dirigiera la hizo callarse.
- ¡Diablos! – dijo Kyle cerrando con furia su puerta – ¿por qué se empeña en tratarme así? ¿por qué me odia? – se preguntaba una y otra vez, se dejó caer en su cama, estaba muy dolido, siempre había sido lo mismo, nunca encontraba las respuestas.
Desde que tenía uso de razón, recordó cómo lo había tratado Susana, su madre adoptiva, quien nunca se cansaba de decirle que le debería estar completamente agradecida por haberlos recogido a él y a su hermana, ya que su madre los había abandonado en un orfanato, aunque no entendía tampoco, por qué a su hermana si la trataba bien, incluso hasta la consentía y a él, desde el momento en que pudieron asistir a la escuela, lo mandó a estudiar en un colegio en Inglaterra, aún en contra de la voluntad de su padre, al principio se sentía triste por estar lejos de casa, el colegio le parecía tan frío y solo, pero luego se fue acostumbrando a ese lugar, sobre todo porque cuando su padre iba a visitarlo en las vacaciones, la pasaban todo el tiempo juntos, logrando con eso que se sintiera compensado por estar internado y lejos de lo que él llamaba familia, además, tenía cerca a su abuelo Richard, quien era muy bueno con él y lo trataba bien, jamás había escuchado un reproche de su parte, a pesar de que sabía su condición de hijo adoptivo, lo trataba sin hacerlo sentir mal por eso, así que no extrañaba estar en América, así que consiguió una buena educación, digna de un caballero inglés, además de que el ser reconocido como el nieto del duque de Granchester, le concedía un apoyo más y lo trataban con deferencia.
Pensó entonces en Candy, y sonrió recordando los momentos compartidos con ella, que a pesar de ser tan breves lo habían llenado de algo que no podía describir, no sabía que era lo que ella le inspiraba, solo que sentía la necesidad de estar junto a ella, su compañía le había brindado lo que en toda su vida no había sentido con plenitud, una gran paz, le gustaba verla sonreír, pero sobre todo, ver brillar de aquella manera sus ojos… cuando ella le contó que había sido enfermera y prestado su servicios durante la guerra pasada, lo hicieron sentir una gran admiración, tenían muchas cosas en común, tuvo tantas ganas de abrazarla y de sentirse muy junto a ella, pero tuvo que reprimir su deseo, no quería que con ese acto ella lo alejara y lo rechazara, él lo que menos quería era irse, así que se conformaba con estar cerca y aspirar su perfume, el cual le encantaba, se sentía tan bien a su lado, y no, no dejaría de verla, así tuviera que enfrentarse a su padre.
* * *
- ¡Oh Patty estoy feliz! – le dijo Candy a Patty cuando llegaron al departamento.
- Veo que si Candy, ¿qué fue lo que sucedió?
- Vino mi hijo… Kyle – respondió la rubia sonriente.
- ¿Vino? ¿En verdad? ¿y de qué hablaron? – preguntó Patty con interés.
- ¡Oh! ¡de muchas cosas!
Se sentía feliz por haber tenido esa visita, así que le detallo a su amiga todo de lo que pudieron hablar.
- No cabe duda de que el chico ha sufrido – comentó Patty después.
- Ya lo creo, y es lo que más tristeza me da – dijo Candy – pero se lo cobraré a Susana, uno por uno todos los sinsabores que ha sufrido Kyle… – hizo una pausa y después continuó – sabes, una vez le advertí que no le hiciera daño a ninguno de mis hijos, porque un día se las vería conmigo.
Entonces unos ruidos provenientes de la sala las interrumpieron en su plática, se miraron sin entender qué sucedía y salieron a ver, grande fue la sorpresa de Candy al ver a Terry ahí discutir con Albert.
- ¡Quiero hablar con ella Albert! – decía Terry.
- Ella no quiere hablar contigo Terry – contestó Albert.
- ¿Qué sucede aquí? – preguntó Candy
- ¡Quiero hablar contigo y tu _guardián _no me lo permite! – estaba sumamente enojado, tanto que se olvidaba que un día fueron los mejores amigos.
- ¿Qué quieres Terry? – quiso Candy saber.
- Quiero que hablemos, esta situación no puede seguir así – respondió Terry un poco más sereno.
- Candy ¿quieres que llame a seguridad para que lo saquen? – preguntó Albert.
- Así que harías que me echaran. ¡Hazlo y verás con quien te metes! – lo enfrentó Terry.
- No Albert, déjalo, hablaré con él – intervino Candy, sabía que en esos momentos Terry estaba furioso y era capaz de golpear a todo aquel que se interpusiera en su camino, no quería ver pelear a nadie – está bien Terry ¿qué quieres? – se acercó a él.
- Hablar contigo, pero no aquí – dijo mirando a Albert y a Patty que también estaban presentes.
- Está bien – aceptó ella.
- Candy ¿estás segura? – preguntó Albert dudoso.
- No te preocupes Albert, estaré bien – le aseguró con una sonrisa a su amigo luego y dirigiéndose a Terry – tendrás que esperar un momento, debo cambiarme – dijo con resignación Candy, no quería echar a perder el día discutiendo con Terry, se sentía muy contenta de haber estado junto a su hijo, así que se metió a su recamara, cerrando la puerta tras de si.
Mientras Albert y Patty estaban en la sala, Albert se dirigió al pequeño bar que tenían en el departamento mientras se servía una copa, Patty se sentó en un cómodo sillón, el rubio entonces le preguntó a Terry:
- ¿Gustas tomar algo?
- Un whiskey estará bien – contestó Terry un poco tranquilo.
- Claro que si – sirvió un vaso para él – toma.
- Gracias – Terry lo tomó de un solo sorbo – no quería ocasionar problemas – le dijo entonces a Albert
- Está bien Terry, olvidémoslo – respondió Albert también más relajado.
Un silencio acompañó después a los tres que estaban en la sala, Albert estaba sentado junto a Patty, no hablaban, Terry observaba el lugar mientras esperaba a Candy, realmente era muy lujoso, le pareció, la copa le había calmado un poco los ánimos que tenía hacía unos momentos, la furia que había experimentado cuando salió de su casa, después de la pequeña discusión con su hijo, no sabía que haría, no podía permitir que siguiera frecuentando a Candy, no entendía por qué le daba coraje saber que precisamente era ella la elegida de su hijo, si fuera otra no habría problema, incluso él lo animaría, pero era Candy, la mujer que había amado con toda su alma, la mujer que había sido suya una noche…
- Estoy lista – la voz de Candy interrumpió sus pensamientos – volveré después Albert.
- ¿Estarás bien Candy? – preguntó Albert mirando a Terry
- Si, estará bien – contestó el aludido mirándolo también y salieron los dos.
Desde que abordaron el auto de Terry y durante todo el camino se mantuvo un silencio entre ellos, hasta que llegaron a un edificio de departamentos en una avenida muy diferente a donde vivía Candy, el auto se detuvo y él la condujo escaleras arriba a un departamento que Candy reconoció.
- Este es tu… – comenzó a decir Candy cuando Terry abrió la puerta
- Mi departamento de soltero – contestó Terry, le cedió el paso y ella entró, pasó frente a él y fue inevitable que los sentidos de Terry no se llenaran con su aroma.
- No pensé que lo seguirías manteniendo – habló ella mientras observaba a su alrededor, se mantenía limpio, digno lugar de un bohemio, vio que había muchas hojas y manuscritos, además de libros apilados en el piso, ya que el pequeño librero estaba ya muy lleno, había un pequeño bar, la cama según pudo apreciar Candy, estaba alisada con unas sabanas limpias, un aroma se confundía con el de ella, era el aroma del perfume de Terry, la esencia de él, misma que llenaba el ambiente y que ella inmediatamente reconoció.
- Es aquí donde vengo a estudiar mis libretos, a relajarme y sentirme en paz –dijo él – Toma asiento ¿quieres tomar algo? – le ofreció.
- Agua por favor – respondió y continuó observando cada rincón.
Él sirvió en un vaso, agua para ella y para él una copa más. Se sentó en un sillón casi al lado de ella, con su copa en mano, ella mantenía su atención en cada detalle del departamento, y él la observaba a ella, sacó un cigarrillo.
- Creí que habías abandonado el cigarro – comentó ella al ver lo que hacía él.
- Hay cosas que jamás he podido dejar – dijo con doble intención, ella volteó la mirada.
- Bueno ¿De qué quieres que hablemos? – preguntó de nuevo.
- De ti, de mí y de mi hijo…
- Creo que hablar de ti y de mí es un tema del que ya hemos hablado antes – respondió ella tajante mientras se acercaba a abrir la ventana y dejar que el humo del cigarrillo saliera.
- No, no hemos hablado del todo…
- Terry ¿Qué quieres? – preguntó ella con la mayor frialdad que pudo – no entiendo por qué me buscas.
- Quiero saber ¿por qué no te quedaste conmigo aquel día? – preguntó sin rodeos él, Candy dio un resoplido.
- Como te dije, es un tema del que ya hablamos, no veo el caso que le sigamos dando vueltas – le dijo en tono de fastidio y volteando el rostro.
- ¿No me amabas Candy? – preguntó mirando su copa, Candy miraba al suelo – ¿por qué no me contestas? ¿es tan difícil hacerlo?
- No tiene caso que hablemos de ello, tú eres un hombre casado, has hecho tu vida, tienes dos hijos, _una abnegada esposa _que te espera en casa, que te ama tanto que no cuestiona tu vida y es ciega ante la vida que llevas – habló sarcásticamente – ¿para qué quieres saber si te amé?
- Tienes razón – después de haberla escuchado Terry no sabía como enfrentarla, así que sólo siguió hablando – ahora me doy cuenta que nunca me amaste, solo querías un pretexto, cuando pasó lo de Susana, no podía creer que fueras capaz de abandonarme sin tomar en cuenta mis sentimientos, pensé que lucharíamos juntos, yo estaba dispuesto a ayudar a Susana, no la iba a dejar desamparada, gracias a ella estaba vivo, pero tu decidiste por los dos… me dolió tanto… fue difícil vivir sin ti… y cuando ya me estaba tratando de reponer… vuelves a aparecer en mi vida, pensé entonces ¡Bendita casualidad, bendito destino que te volvió a poner en mi camino! Me sentí el hombre más feliz y realizado de todo el mundo… tu estabas nuevamente conmigo… haciendo promesas… diciendo que estarías a mi lado siempre… que me amabas con toda tu alma… ¿y que sucedió? ¡Volviste a abandonarme! ¡volviste a decidir que era lo que me convenía! ¡volviste a decidir por los dos! – Candy lo escuchaba sin mirarlo – no sabes cómo te odié entonces Candy… no entendí cómo habías sido capaz de haberme hecho tanto daño, al haberme abandonado… y ahora regresas – continuó con ironía – y tratas de engatusar a mi hijo, para hacerle también el mismo daño…
- En eso te equivocas – lo interrumpió Candy.
- ¿Ah si? Y entonces ¿por qué aceptas sus cortejos? – su voz sonaba más a celos que a otra cosa.
- Estás tan ciego que no puedes ver más allá ¿verdad? –dijo ella tratando de conservar la serenidad – tu hijo necesita amor… compañía.
- Déjame adivinar, ¿tú estás dispuesta a dárselo? – le preguntó burlón.
- Si… estoy dispuesta a darle el amor que necesita.
- ¡No lo permitiré! – se levantó Terry enojado de donde había estado sentado, Candy lo miró y movió negativamente la cabeza – no permitiré que mi hijo se acerque a ti Candy, no a ti.
- No creo que tu debas decidir sobre mi – le contestó mirándolo seria.
- No, creo que tienes razón – dijo con sarcasmo – si siempre has decidido por todo y por todos.
- No tiene caso continuar con esta discusión Terry – entonces ella se apartó de la ventana, quedando frente a éste, quien no se movió.
- No, aún no hemos terminado – le dijo tomándola de los hombros, obligándola a sentarse – todavía faltan cosas por aclarar – volvió a servirse otra copa.
- No deberías tomar más… – sugirió ella.
- ¿Por qué pecosa? – respondió el con preguntas – ¿acaso te doy miedo?
- Cuando bebes te conviertes en alguien diferente… – le contestó, pero éste pareció no escucharla y apuró el contenido de la copa que se había servido, sirviendo otra más, ella solo lo miró.
- ¿A qué viniste a Nueva York Candy? ¿A torturarme, a torturar a mi familia? ¿A qué?
- "A recuperar lo que es mío" – contestó en su mente Candy.
- ¡Vamos contéstame! – dijo Terry.
- No voy a discutir eso contigo Terry, no tienes ningún derecho a intervenir en mi vida.
- ¡Diablos Candy! – dijo azotando la copa que se había servido haciendo que ésta se rompiera en pedazos – ¡Me exasperas!
- ¡No voy a estar un momento más aquí contigo! – dijo ella levantándose
Pero Terry en un rápido movimiento la tomó en sus brazos…
- ¡Suéltame! – le dijo Candy.
- No podía soportar estar un momento más lejos de ti – dijo sin escucharla apresándola en sus brazos – necesitaba hacer esto.
- ¡Terry! – decía Candy.
- Me encanta escuchar mi nombre en tus labios – dijo y tomó con una mano el rubio cabello de Candy, haciendo que lo mirara y con la otra la mantenía apresada por la cintura – ¡mírame! – ordenó.
- ¡Suéltame! – decía con determinación Candy, luchando con él y contra sí misma.
- Tus ojos, me encanta cómo se oscurecen cuando te enojas, cuando te hago sentir esas emociones… ¿sabes que me debes algo? – le preguntó y continuó sin dejarla contestar – me debes una bofetada, sí, la de la otra anoche, me dolió… mucho… ahora me la cobraré doble.
- No te atrevas Terry… – habló Candy enojada.
- Si – susurró Terry cerca de sus labios – haré que me implores, haré que vuelvas a amarme, te cobraré uno por uno todos los sufrimientos que me causaste con tu abandono…
Y sin darle oportunidad de hablar, volvió a apresar sus labios carmesí, pero esta vez fue más duro, lastimaba los labios de Candy, los mordisqueaba como si fuera un caramelo, trataba de seducirla con sus labios, convenciéndola de entregarse a él, sin saber cómo, Candy se sintió empujada hacia la cama, sintió encima de ella el cuerpo de Terry, duro, poderoso, no podía escapar de aquellos grilletes que se cerraban, trataba de voltear su rostro y no podía, una mano de él apresaba su cara haciendo que no pudiera moverla, continuaba besándola, ella se seguía resistiendo, aún en contra de lo que estaba sintiendo, la excitación que comenzaba a correr por su vientre hasta llegar a su garganta, haciendo que involuntariamente soltara un suave gemido que ocasionó que su boca se abriera, invitando así a Terry a profundizar el beso que le estaba robando.
Cuando Terry logró por fin derribar esa gran barrera, fue como si le abrieran las puertas a la gloria, sintió como al fin volvía a probar el sabor de Candy, volvía a embriagarse con aquel sabor de los besos de ella, profundizó el beso, acariciaba con su lengua la cavidad de ella, entrelazó su lengua con la de ella, involuntariamente ella se estaba entregando, ya que su cuerpo, sintió Terry, comenzó a dejar de sentirse tenso, poco a poco se fue aflojando, de manera que Terry siguió en sus caricias, trataba de convencerla por medio de su boca, trataba de seducirla, de acercarse más a ella, así que fue más allá, pero Candy reaccionó cuando sintió una mano de él acariciar su seno y trató de sorprenderlo, pero él volvía a la carga, pero donde si tuvo que hacer uso de todas sus fuerzas fue cuando él comenzó a subir su mano por debajo del vestido de Candy y acarició sus muslos, Candy no supo de donde sacó toda aquella fuerza y logró empujarlo.
- ¡No Terry! – le dijo cuando estaba ya parada alisando su ropa, en sus ojos se veían las huellas de lágrimas
- ¡Candy! – se veía desconcertado al notar en los ojos de ella lágrimas – yo… – comenzó él a alisar su cabello
- ¡Eres el mismo malcriado que conocí en Inglaterra…! – dijo Candy furiosa sin poder contener las lágrimas, las dejó resbalar por su rostro – ¿Qué crees que puedes hacerme? ¿tan poco valgo para ti, para que me quieras tocar de esa manera tan indecente?
Sin poder contenerse dejó caer su mano en la mejilla de Terry nuevamente, pero en esta ocasión Terry no se quedó impávido.
- ¡No vuelvas a golpearme! – le agarró la mano, Candy lo enfrentó con la misma mirada, que aunque llorosa también destilaba furia, igual a de él.
- ¡No quiero que te vuelvas a acercar a mí!
- ¡Ah no! ¡en eso estás completamente equivocada! – le contestó él – porque me acercaré a ti todas las veces que sea necesario para evitar que mi hijo se acerque a ti, no lo permitiré y tampoco lo soportaría… – dijo sin pensar
- ¡Ah! ¡ahora entiendo! – lo interrumpió – ¡no es porque soy una mujer mayor o por todas las tonterías que dices de mi! Lo que quieres evitar es que tu hijo se acerque a mí, ¡debí haberlo imaginado! ¡estás celoso! – habló sin pensar.
- ¡No digas tonterías! – le rebatió él sorprendiéndose por lo que había develado sin querer.
- ¡Sí, estás celoso! – dijo ahora burlándose – por eso no quieres que tu hijo se acerque a mi… me sigues amando Terrence Granchester – dijo sonriendo con el triunfo reflejándose en su mirada.
Terry la miró, realmente desconocía a aquella mujer en la que se había convertido Candy, no podía creer que la persona que tenía frente a él, fuera la mujer de la que había estado profundamente enamorado todos esos años, porque a pesar de todo, ella continuaba en su corazón, y sí, ella tenía razón al afirmar que estaba completamente celoso, no soportaba que nadie, ningún hombre estuviera junto a ella, incluso su hijo, no permitiría que se acercaba más a ella, la seguía amando, pero ahora lo desconcertaba la mujer que tenía frente de él… ¿dónde estaba la dulce mujer que él había hecho suya una vez?
- ¡Estás completamente lleno de celos! ¡celoso de tu propio hijo! – decía Candy sonriendo con ironía y desprecio – no lo puedo creer… pero sabes qué, me decepcionas por completo, dices seguir amándome y me crees capaz de hacerle daño a… tu hijo – dijo mordiéndose los labios y ahogando el dolor que le oprimía el pecho – no me conoces realmente… ¿me dices que has sufrido, que me harás pagar todo el sufrimiento que te causé? – Terry veía con qué aplomo se había recuperado Candy, realmente lo estaba sorprendiendo – ¿y yo? ¿crees que no he sufrido? ¿qué mi vida fue todos estos años un lecho de rosas? – dijo y comenzó a llorar, mientras lentamente se iba sentando en el piso – ¡qué sabes tú del sufrimiento! ¡no lo conoces!
Terry la miró confundido, no la entendía, en un momento era una mujer que se burlaba de él, para en un segundo transformarse en otra mujer completamente desconocida para él, y ahora viéndola llorar de aquella manera, volvió a reconocerla como aquella chiquilla de la cual se había enamorado, se arrodillo cerca de ella, algo había vuelto a tocar en su corazón, estaba desconcertado por aquel llanto tan lleno de dolor.
La abrazó con ternura, Candy no se resistió, ya que sintió aquellos brazos que le estaban ofreciendo consuelo, reconoció ese viejo sentir de Terry por ella, aquel abrazo no tenía odio, no tenía furia, no tenía dolo, era simplemente un abrazo de consuelo, de cariño, como los que él le había regalado en el pasado, se sentía protegida.
Terry le acariciaba con ternura su cabeza tratando que se calmara, su mano le sobaba suavemente su espalda, no había malicia en aquel acto, era como si se volvieran a reconocer después de tantos años, después de tantos sufrimientos.
Continuará….
* * *
_Hola, espero que les haya gustado este capítulo, agradezco enormemente todos sus comentarios. GRACIAS_
10. Capitulo 10
**LA MENTIRA**
**CAPITULO X**
**"Reencuentro"**
Candy se encontraba tranquila luego de varios minutos, ya era de noche, solamente la luz de las lámparas entraba por la ventana de aquel departamento, donde hacia unos momentos se habían desatado muchas emociones.
Candy estaba recostada en el pecho de Terry, él la sostenía como si de una niña pequeña se tratara, la abrazaba, intentando transmitirle su calor, su apoyo, ella parecía encontrarse en su lugar, junto a él. Para el actor, tenerla de ese modo le parecía irreal, solo en sus más locos sueños lo había vivido, sentir sus manos, su cabello haciéndole cosquillas sobre la piel, llenarse de aquel inolvidable aroma, ¿qué más podía pedir en esos momentos?
- Ya… ya me siento bien – dijo Candy moviéndose – gracias…
- ¿Por qué?... no hay nada que agradecer – contestó Terry con voz suave – creo que… te debo una disculpa – Candy lo miró con interrogación – si, por mi arrebato de hace unos momentos, no quise lastimarte…
- No te preocupes – dijo Candy y sonrió, levantó su mano dirigiéndola hasta la mejilla donde lo había golpeado – realmente no quise hacerlo…
- Me lo merecía… – acepto él – sigues teniendo una mano fuerte…
- Yo… – dijo y cuando trató de separar la mano de la mejilla de Terry, éste la retuvo ahí con una de sus manos y la miraba a los ojos.
Candy le sostuvo la mirada, se dio cuenta que era diferente, en los azules ojos de Terry se apreciaba una gran nostalgia de algo que había existido entre ellos, Terry condujo lentamente a sus labios la blanca mano que aún tenía cautiva, labios que aún estaban cálidos y que ella pudo percibir, besó la pequeña palma de la mano femenina, haciéndola estremecer sin querer, enlazó sus dedos en los de ella.
Sin decir palabra alguna Terry la atrajo suavemente, los dos estaban aún sentados en el piso, la alfombra les servía para no sentir el frío, Candy no se resistió esta vez y poco a poco fue acercándose a él, quien con ternura le tomó el rostro con sus dos manos, ella no hizo nada por detenerlo, con ansiedad esperó a que él concluyera lo que tanto estaba esperando.
Le pareció una eternidad el tiempo transcurrido para volver a sentir sobre sus labios los labios de Terry, que se posaron con ternura y suavidad, tenían un sabor distinto al de hace un rato, era un beso que Candy recibió de forma especial, era un beso largamente esperado y que ambos deseaban, ella se rindió ante el contacto de él, la distancia entre sus cuerpos poco a poco se acortó, para terminar acostados sobre la alfombra, abrazados, besándose, entrelazando sus piernas, Candy deseaba entregarse a él completamente, mientras que Terry se sentía premiado por la vida al sentir aquel despliegue de pasión por parte de su amada pecosa.
De nuevo volvía a tenerla en sus brazos… Candy sintió la excitación de Terry y un calor en el vientre le avisó de su misma excitación, una parte de su cerebro le gritaba que debía detenerse, pero su corazón le pedía continuar, pero no, debía detenerse, aunque quería seguir así, junto a él, disfrutando de aquello que por tantos años añoró, dio un pequeño respingo cuando Terry envuelto en la pasión llevó más allá sus caricias acariciando un seno, involuntariamente ella dio un leve salto.
- Lo siento… – dijo Terry junto a sus labios.
- Yo también lo siento – contestó ella
- ¿Quieres que me detenga? – preguntó Terry
- Creo que… es lo mejor…
Terry se separó de ella, sin dejar de abrazarla, ella descansaba su cabeza en el hombro de él y lo observó, observó su perfil, era igual al de Kyle, "cuán parecidos son", pensó, había mucho de él en sus dos hijos.
- Terry… – habló ella después de unos segundos de silencio – debo irme.
- Sí… tienes razón – contestó y se levantó dándole la mano para ayudarla a levantarse.
Ella se alisó el vestido, se peinó un poco, parada frente a un espejo ambos lucían como si acabaran de hacer el amor, observaba a través del espejo la imagen de Terry, quien se acomodaba la ropa adecuadamente, se tomó el tiempo para admirar a sus anchas a aquel hombre que a pesar del tiempo, seguía despertando emociones conocidas y desconocidas para ella, pero, no podía estar con él, el tiempo había pasado dejando a su paso muchas vivencias, mismas que quizás impedirían que estuvieran juntos, una de ellas era precisamente sus hijos.
No hablaron al salir del departamento, ni durante el trayecto al edificio donde Candy vivía, llegaron a la puerta del departamento y fue Terry quien rompió el silencio.
- Candy… – ella lo miró – ¿podríamos vernos después?
- No lo sé – respondió desviando la mirada – creo que no deberíamos…
- Por favor… – le rogó.
- De acuerdo – aceptó luego de ver el azul profundo de sus ojos donde pareció perderse unos instantes.
Terry tomó su mano y la besó.
- Mañana en la noche vendré por ti para ir a cenar – Terry la veía con una promesa impresa en su mirada, ella le sonrió antes de entrar y cerrar la puerta.
* * *
Terry se quedó mirando la puerta que se cerraba detrás de aquella mujer, quería estar junto a ella. Dejo pasar unos minutos, luego comenzó a caminar rumbo al elevador para irse, miles de pensamientos cruzaban por su mente, subió al auto pensando cómo era posible que después de tantos años, después de tantas mujeres que habían pasado por su vida y sus brazos, ninguna había podido hacerle olvidar a aquella que se entregara a él una sola noche, jamás, habían bastado unos momentos a su lado para darse cuenta que ella seguía dentro de su corazón como un tatuaje imposible de borrar, él se había aferrado a sus labios como si en ello se le fuese la vida.
Era una decisión, nada le impediría estar cerca de ella, nadie se opondría a su felicidad, sabía que tenía que hablar con Susana lo antes posible, pedirle el divorcio y liberarse de aquellas cadenas invisibles que lo habían mantenido atado. Pensó que ahora no habría tanto problema, ella era una mujer que podía valerse por si misma a pesar de su confinamiento voluntario en la casa, no la dejaría desamparada, le otorgaría una muy buena pensión, eso no sería problema, ahora su principal preocupación eran sus hijos.
¿Cómo les explicaría todo? Sobre todo a Kyle, no quería lastimar a su hijo cuando éste se enterase de sus sentimientos por Candy, trataría de que entendieran todo. ¿Y Dana? Sabía que ella quería a Susana, a pesar de que no era muy cariñosa con ella, pero le consentía en ocasiones. ¿Cómo decirles que a pesar de todo él nunca había olvidado a aquella rubia que conquistara su corazón siendo un adolescente?
Él amaba profundamente a sus hijos. Jamás entendió el rechazo que Susana tenía hacia ellos, él trató de justificarla por el hecho de que no eran de su sangre, ella siempre trató de consumar el matrimonio, pero él se negó, al principio le pidió tiempo para poder quererla, cosa que ella aceptó, pero cuando los niños llegaron, comenzó a hacerle la vida pesada, le exigía un acercamiento, le exigía darle hijos de su propia sangre, porque no podía soportar llamar hijos a dos criaturas que no habían salido de su vientre.
No comprendía como si ella se sentía así, había traído a los pequeños desde Inglaterra y prácticamente lo obligó a que los adoptaran. Si desde un principio los iba a rechazar; le hizo contratar niñeras que se encargaran de ellos, hacia muchos años que había descubierto que Susana solamente los tocaba cuando él estaba presente, quizás para demostrarle que los quería, pero con el paso del tiempo ella parecía no querer disimular más, pero aún así, siguió casado con ella, sólo por esos pequeños que le habían cautivado desde el primer momento que los vio.
Ahora todo iba a ser diferente, Candy estaba nuevamente en su vida y sabía que ella también lo seguía amando, pudo sentirla vibrar ante sus caricias, responder a sus besos y eso era lo que le importaba, quería ser feliz con ella.
* * *
- Hola – dijo Candy sentándose junto a Albert en la terraza.
- ¿Cómo estás Candy? – le preguntó el rubio.
- Bien… – contestó – no, no es verdad, no estoy bien – Albert no contestó, sabía que ella necesitaba hablar y le tomó su mano – me siento profundamente mal Albert – decía frunciendo su ceño – no sé qué hacer… pensé que podía manejar la situación… pero no pude…
- ¿Qué sucedió pequeña? – preguntó él suavemente.
- Terry… – musitó ella.
- ¿Te hizo algo? – inquirió Albert alertando sus sentidos.
- No – respondió en el acto – no me hizo nada, al contrario… dijo que me seguía amando.
- ¿Qué harás?
- No lo sé, hay tantas cosas que nos impiden estar juntos.
- Candy, ¿lo amas? – Candy se quedó mirándolo y Albert vio la respuesta a través de sus ojos – entonces, lucha por tu felicidad, no te vuelvas a sacrificar por alguien que no lo mereció… te alejaste equivocadamente del hombre que amabas, creíste que era lo mejor ¿y qué lograste? Hacerlo infeliz, hacerte infeliz tu… no Candy, es hora de luchar por ti… lo mereces pequeña… – Candy lo escuchaba y de sus ojos resbalaban lagrimas – no llores… no me gusta verte llorar – Candy trató de sonreír – ¿lo ves? Así está mejor, recuerda, eres mucho más bonita cuando ríes, que cuando lloras – le sonrió con ternura – tienes mi apoyo, para todo lo que decidas hacer…
- Albert… te agradezco tanto… – dijo ella.
- Lucha pequeña, lucha por tu felicidad, lucha por tus hijos, no temas a nada, quiero que vuelvas a ser aquella mujer que no se dejaba vencer por la adversidad, que siempre salía adelante, enfréntate a la vida y sus adversidades – le dijo
- Pequeña… cuando me llamas así en verdad vuelvo a sentirme igual que cuando me consolabas de niña. Siempre estabas ahí, impulsándome. Gracias Albert.
- Seguiré estando ahí siempre que me necesites.
Se abrazaron fraternalmente mientras la noche seguía su paso.
* * *
Terry llegó a su casa, era tarde, sus hijos seguramente ya estaban acostados y Susana estaría en su cuarto, lo cual era lo mejor, ya que no tenía ganas de verla, así que tras estacionar su auto, abrió la puerta de su casa y al cerrar detrás de él se sorprendió al encontrar una figura parada cerca de las escaleras.
- ¡Al fin llegas! – dijo Susana en la penumbra, se alumbraba con una pequeña lámpara.
- No tengo ganas de discutir – Terry habló sin mirarla.
- Nunca tienes ganas de nada – le espetó Susana con frialdad.
- ¿Qué haces levantada?
- Esperándote…
- Te he dicho infinidad de veces que no lo hagas, creo que ya hemos mantenido antes esta discusión, y no tengo ganas de hablar, me iré a dormir… – dijo subiendo las escaleras
- ¿Crees que no me he dado cuenta que esa maldita mujer reapareció y está en la ciudad? – le preguntó y Terry se quedó parado dándole la espalda – lo sabía, sabía que habías vuelto a verla… por eso te comportas así.
- Siempre me he comportado igual, no sé de que te extrañas… – contestó él con fastidio.
- No, no es así, sólo te comportas igual cuando andas con las mujerzuelas de siempre… pero ahora… estás diferente… tu mirada ha cambiado… si, lo he notado… – dijo con burla, intentando ocultar toda aquella rabia que sentía.
- Siempre has sabido lo que hay en mi interior. No tengo porque discutir eso contigo de nuevo – le respondió con ironía.
- ¿Ah si? De acuerdo… – la ironía impregnando cada palabra – pero… ¿qué le dirás a tu hijo? ¿sabías que esta interesado en ella? – preguntó burlona.
Él volteó su cuerpo y le dirigió una mirada que años atrás habría podido hacerla callar, más no esa noche, ella estaba con la espada desenvainada y no cedería tan fácilmente.
- Lo sé, siempre he sabido lo que ocurre con "mis hijos" – enfatizó la palabra, cosa que hizo hervir la sangre de ella.
- ¡Ja!, "tus hijos", ni siquiera llevan tu sangre – le decía con rabia.
- Eso nunca me ha importado y lo sabes bien, pero ya que tienes muchas ganas de "conversar", te diré algo que todo este tiempo has sabido y que es lo que te tiene así.
Terry había descendido las escaleras quedando frente a ella.
- Lo que más te duele, es el que unos pequeños inocentes se hayan ganado mi cariño, mientras que tú, por más intentos y chantajes no has logrado que te quiera al menos un poco en todo este tiempo, te has esmerado tanto en que sienta algo imposible por ti, que el poco cariño que pude llegar a tenerte, tú misma lo convertiste en odio.
La mano de Susana intentó estrellarse en el rostro de él, pero no alcanzó a llegar a su destino porque la fuerte mano de Terry se lo impidió.
- Jamás intentes esto de nuevo, la farsa esta por terminar.
Ella temblaba de rabia y coraje, sabía que lo estaba perdiendo, pero aún tenía muchas cartas por jugar, así que sonriendo de medio lado y con ironía agregó:
- Yo podría decirle a Kyle quien ha sido ella y qué papel ha jugado en tu vida…
- ¡No te atreverías! – aseveró él con sarcasmo – tendrías que revelarle también la verdad sobre "nuestro matrimonio", ¿te gustaría que se enterara del cómo y porqué vivimos bajo el mismo techo?, no lo creo – respondió él mismo y agregó – ¡no quiero que te entrometas! – le habló amenazante mientras la miraba lleno de enojo también.
- ¿Por qué? ¿qué harás? – lo desafiaba, Terry la miró con enfado y fastidio.
- No tiene caso hablar contigo – le dijo y volvió a subir las escaleras
- ¡No voy a permitir que ella se salga con la suya! – le alzó la voz entonces, pero Terry no hizo caso y continuó su camino.
Susana se quedó ahí parada hasta que escuchó el portazo de la puerta de la recamara de Terry.
- No voy a permitir que esa maldita se salga con la suya, nunca, nunca será para ella…
Esa noche definitivamente no dormiría, así que se fue a su sala de costura mientras un brillo maligno se pintó en sus ojos.
- Algo tengo que hacer…
Rememoró el pasado y aunque detestaba aceptarlo, esa noche Terry le había dicho que la odiaba, no sólo eso, sino que sin saber que aquellos chicos en realidad eran parte de su ser los amaba, mientras que en ella el tenerlos cerca sólo le había servido para alimentar y acrecentar su odio irracional hacía aquella que acusaba de ladrona y a quien jamás pensó en volver a ver. Al menos no en esta vida.
Su mente enferma empezó a hilar ideas para derrotar de una vez por todas a aquella que siempre había sido una sombra en su vida. No tenía más que perder, pero si ganaba al deshacerse de ella. Sí, ya lo tenía pensado.
* * *
En la oscuridad de su habitación, Terry permanecía acostado en su cama, no podía dormir, pensaba, ¿cómo era posible que se hubiera unido a esa mujer?, por estúpido, sí, esa era la verdad, el sentirse traicionado lo llevó a cometer la peor estupidez de su vida. Susana cambió su forma de ser, al principio trató de comportarse como una mujer que se desvivía por agradarlo en todo, pero por más esfuerzos que ella hacía, no pudo lograr que Terry sintiera algo más, siempre vivió con ese estigma, guardando durante mucho tiempo el agradecimiento hacía quien le salvara la vida, pero ahora que lo meditaba bien, él sentía que Susana estaba en deuda con Candy, ya que ella la salvó de morir un día también, por agradecimiento, por deberle su vida a Candy, debió haberse hecho a un lado y dejarlo ser feliz, pero no, fue al contrario, se valió de eso para amarrarlo a vivir a su lado de esa manera.
Susana cambió de táctica y un día le dijo que tenía que ir a Inglaterra, porque un familiar de su madre estaba muriendo, para que a su regreso, volviera con dos bebés en los brazos. Entonces en ella se suscito de nuevo un cambio, comenzó a demandar más atención para sí; no se le daba la cuestión maternal y en muchas ocasiones pudo sentir como ella se encelaba de aquellos pequeños, parecía sentir aversión hacía ellos, como si los rechazara, por lo que no entendía los motivos que la habían llevado a hacer arreglos para adoptarlos, eso fue sólo al principio, pero después ya no fingió, los rechazaba abiertamente, aunque había notado que con Dana era distinta, quizás por ser una niña, pero la consentía demasiado, así que la chica era muy caprichosa y voluntariosa, todo lo que quería le aceptaba, cosa contraria con su hijo Kyle, a quien seguía rechazando, por lo que siempre era motivo de discusiones, y ya no se toleraban los dos, pero Susana sabía que no la dejaría para no ocasionarles más sufrimientos a los chicos. También a ellos los había usado para retenerlo a su lado.
Trató de dormir pensando en otra imagen, en otros recuerdos, los cuales comenzaron a ser muy placenteros, mientras abrazaba una almohada imaginó que era el cuerpo de ella, y se aferró a ella, así se durmió al fin, soñando con Candy.
* * *
Candy se levantó un poco tarde, había tardado para dormirse, ya que estaba pensando en Terry y en muchas cosas, así que cuando se levantó, vio que había un gran ramo de rosas blancas con una tarjeta, sobre un mueble cerca de la puerta, la mucama le avisó que eran para ella, Albert y Patty habían salido, ahora que habían formalizado más su relación, pasaban más tiempo juntos.
Candy tomó la tarjeta y leyó, sabía de quién era…
_Mi amada Pecosa:_
_¿De qué otra manera te puedo llamar, si no es de esta forma?_
_Estoy esperando con ansia que llegue la noche para volver a verte, te extraño, pasaré por ti a las 8.00 p.m., me siento además triste porque no podré verte durante el día, ya que comienzan los ensayos para la obra en que próximamente actuaré, pienso en ti a cada momento ¿y tú? ¿También piensas en mí?_
_Te amo_
_Terry._
- Señora, la buscan en la terraza – le anunció una mucama.
- Gracias, enseguida voy – contestó Candy guardando la nota, sonreía feliz, "Terry", suspiró – te veré en la noche – dijo en un susurro, se dirigió a la terraza y se sorprendió al ver de quien se trataba y sonrió – ¡Hola qué grata sorpresa!
- Hola Candy – le saludó Kyle – espero no le moleste que haya venido a visitarla…
- ¡Claro que no! Al contrario, es muy grato para mi que me visites – le dijo sonriendo – ¿has desayunado?
- Precisamente venía a invitarla – le dijo él.
- ¿Y por qué no te invito yo aquí? Así podríamos platicar mejor – le propuso al joven.
- Está bien – aceptó él de buen grado y se sentó con ella en el pequeño comedor de la terraza, momentos después pidió les sirvieran.
- No habías venido – comenzó diciendo Candy.
- He tenido cosas qué hacer, he acompañado a mi hermana a hacer compras, pronto será nuestro cumpleaños – le dijo.
A Candy se le hizo un nudo en la garganta, pronto sería el cumpleaños de ellos, había pasado ya tanto tiempo…
- Vaya es algo… – decía emocionada, pero trató de serenarse – que no esperaba, tu cumpleaños, qué lindo – no sabía qué decir – les harán con seguridad una gran fiesta.
- No lo creo, desde la última vez que todo fue un desastre, papá decidió festejar solamente con mi hermana y yo, nos vamos a un buen restaurante, nos da regalos y pasamos un buen día – respondió Kyle.
- Pero ¿por qué? Tu hermana y tu cumplirán 18 años – dijo sin pensar Candy – deben presentarlos en sociedad…
- ¿Cómo lo sabe? – preguntó con extrañeza Kyle.
- Pues… me lo imagino – dijo rápidamente Candy – ¿o no es así? Creo haberlo leído en alguna revista.
- Si, tiene razón –Kyle le resto importancia.
- Compraré un regalo para ti… y para tu hermana – dijo ella sin poder ocultar la emoción que la embargaba.
- De acuerdo – le sonrió él inexplicablemente feliz.
- Pero dime ¿por qué no les harán una fiesta? – dijo Candy con tacto.
- Pues… la última vez que papá nos hizo una fiesta, fue muy bonita, tuvimos pastel, dulces, de todo – decía sonriente – pero no entendimos qué fue lo que sucedió realmente, papá nunca quiere hablar de ello y mamá tampoco… – Candy lo escuchaba, le tomó la mano animándolo, el chico necesitaba hablar – fue cuando nos enteramos que no era su… hijo, que había sido adoptado… recuerdo que papá se molestó mucho, parece ser que habían convenido entre ellos que siempre guardarían ese secreto de nuestra adopción… y se molestó más porque mamá había invitado a muchas personas de sociedad, además de los compañeros de teatro de papá, así fue como se enteraron de todo… después de eso me miraban con lástima – Candy sintió un fuerte dolor en el pecho, sin darse cuenta comenzó a llorar – ¿se siente bien? – preguntó al verla ponerse pálida
- Si, no te preocupes… estoy bien… – se levantó de la silla donde había estado sentada y le dio la espalda a Kyle, limpió su rostro, pero en sus verdes ojos había una chispa de enojo, trató de que el chico no lo viera – dime ¿por qué tu madre dijo que solamente tu eras adoptado?, ¿acaso tu hermana no lo es también?
- Papá me lo dijo cuando yo me subí corriendo a mi cuarto, me abrazó y me consoló, me dijo que no me sintiera así – en los verdes ojos de Kyle también había dolor y lagrimas que no dejaba salir – me explicó que mi hermana, era eso, mi hermana de sangre, que los dos sí teníamos la misma y que hubiera podido dar lo que fuera con tal de tener también la misma sangre que nosotros… – hizo una pequeña pausa y continuó – me contó que los dos habíamos llegado juntos, que según los documentos de adopción éramos gemelos… me los enseñó y sí, efectivamente eso decía, pero a pesar de que yo sabía todo aquello, mi hermana recibía por parte de mi madre otro trato… a mi siempre me rechazaba…
- ¿Cuándo sucedió eso? – preguntó Candy sin mirarlo, todavía le daba la espalda, empezaba a acrecentarse su odio.
- Cuando cumplí 8 años – contestó – después de que ellos discutieron aquella noche, una semana después, mi madre, sin tomarle parecer a mi padre, arregló todo para que yo me marchara a un internado, me mandó a Inglaterra, a Eton – Candy escuchaba y siguió llorando silenciosamente – desde entonces preferí vivir ahí, me sentía mejor, además de que me gustaba el estudio, me encantaba recibir las clases, además, después de que conocí a mi abuelo Richard, el duque, él supo la historia, y contrario a lo que yo esperaba, no me rechazó, mas bien, me dio su cariño y me trata muy bien hasta el día de hoy, siempre dice que yo le recuerdo a alguien que había amado a mi padre, a una gran mujer, muy hermosa y buena – Candy escuchó aquello y sonrió.
- No te preocupes… ven aquí… – se acercó a él, lo tomó de una mano para atraerlo y lo atrajo hacia ella y lo abrazó – entiendo que quizás has sufrido por muchas cosas, pero, no te preocupes más, de ahora en adelante las cosas cambiarán, todo saldrá bien…
Kyle la miro con extrañeza pero sonrió.
- Gracias Candy, es usted una mujer muy especial.
Abrazado a ella, Kyle sentía un calor extraño, una paz inmensa lo invadió, era un sentimiento diferente, no era deseo lo que sentía por aquella mujer tan bella, no, era como si estuviera con su padre, ese tipo de sentimiento lo confundió, porque se había sentido atraído por Candy desde que la vio, no entendía.
- ¿Te sientes mejor? – preguntó suavemente ella mirándolo con ternura.
- Si, gracias – él devolvió la mirada sonriendo – bueno, me tengo que ir, debo recoger a mi hermana en el instituto donde estudia
- Está bien…
- Quizás no la vea en estos días – Candy lo miró con interrogación – como le mencione antes, papá pasa el día con nosotros en nuestro cumpleaños y pues…
- Ah si, tienes razón, lo había olvidado – decía un poco triste pero ocultándolo bajo una sonrisa.
- Pero vendré después a verla, se lo prometo – dijo Kyle – y entonces aceptará salir conmigo… ¿verdad? – sonrió.
- De acuerdo, te esperaré – le dijo Candy, lo acompañó hasta la puerta – adiós… feliz cumpleaños hijo – dijo después que había cerrado la puerta y una lagrima al fin salió rodando por su mejilla
Candy se sintió contenta y feliz por todo lo que había sabido sobre su hijo, sintió amar más a Terry por tener aquellos sentimientos tan puros y profundos hacia unos niños que se suponía no tenían su misma sangre, que a pesar de todo los amaba como si fueran de él… también sintió un gran odio hacia Susana, en el corazón de Candy nunca había existido espacio para albergar ese sentimiento, pero Susana había hecho todo lo posible por hacerla sufrir, después de que Candy había sacrificado no sólo su vida, sino a su único amor, al abandonarlo en aquél cuarto de hotel para dejárselo a ella, y no conforme con eso, le había arrebatado el fruto de aquel gran amor, sólo para ensañarse con su hijo, no, no podía guardar y olvidar ese odio, no podía perdonar así tan fácil. Esta vez no se quedaría cruzada de brazos.
* * *
Casi caía la noche, misma que traería la visita de Terry, compartiría de nuevo a su lado, no cabía de felicidad, se sentía contenta, pero la tristeza que la embargara al conocer la vida de su hijo estaba presente, aún así, intentaría pasar un rato agradable.
Estaba por terminar de peinarse, cuando escuchó unos toquidos en su puerta.
- Pase – dijo y por el espejo vio de quién se trataba, era Albert
- Hola Candy, ¡qué bella estás! – exclamó sonriente
- Gracias – alcanzó a decir ella.
- Hacía mucho tiempo que no te veía tan animada.
- Tengo motivos para estarlo – le dijo guiñándole un ojo.
- Candy, tengo que decirte algo… – hizo una pausa – mañana tengo que regresar a Chicago…
- ¿Irte? Pero… ¿Por qué? – giró sobre sí misma para quedar de frente a él.
- Parece ser que hay algunos problemas que requieren mi presencia – explicó él.
- ¿Y Patty? Supongo que se irá contigo – aseveró con cierta tristeza.
- Me temo que sí – respondió Albert.
Candy se volvió al espejo, mirando su imagen, en ella vio a una mujer ya madura, capaz de salir adelante, pero en sus ojos aún había miedo de lo que iba a encontrar más allá… aún así tenía que demostrarle a Albert que volvía a ser la misma Candy, aquella que valientemente se enfrentaba a todo y a todos, además era cierto, no podía tratar de que Albert permaneciera más tiempo alejado de los negocios, bastante había hecho con acompañarla a Nueva York y no podía obligarlo a más.
- De acuerdo Albert, estaré bien – dijo al fin Candy – esta lucha debo tenerla yo sola, te agradezco tu compañía y todo lo que han hecho por mi, sé que tengo que seguir adelante.
- Sé que estarás bien – contestó Albert – recuerda, todo lo que decidas hacer tienes mi apoyo – le dijo
- Gracias nuevamente – contestó Candy y lo besó en la mejilla.
Fueron interrumpidos en esos momentos por Patty.
- Candy, Terry ha llegado.
- Gracias Patty, enseguida voy – volvió a concentrarse en su arreglo, mientras sus amigos la dejaban a solas.
En la estancia, Albert platicaba con Terry.
- Albert, quiero ofrecerte una disculpa por mi arrebato de la otra noche – inició Terry la charla.
- No hay problema, comprendo que te sintieras así, pero… aún seguimos siendo amigos Terry – dijo Albert ofreciendo su mano mientras guiñaba un ojo.
- Gracias Albert ¿amigos? –Terry tomó la mano que se le ofrecía, misma que estrechó con fuerza y afecto.
- ¡Vaya, veo que hicieron las paces! – exclamó Candy contenta-
- Si, parece ser que Albert me ha perdonado – dijo Terry sonriendo socarronamente.
- Así es – contestó Albert – pero… me volveré a enojar si dañas a Candy – mirándolo seriamente el rubio se cruzó de brazos.
- No te preocupes, no ocurrirá – respondió Terry mirándolo también.
- Vamos Terry – dijo Candy – volveré después – se despidió de Albert y Patty
Los dos salieron del departamento, no hubo palabras, hasta que subieron al auto.
- Creo que Albert aún no me perdona – dijo Terry
- Es su forma de protegerme – contestó Candy
- Pero, ¿acaso piensa que te puedo hacer daño? – Candy no habló y Terry tampoco dijo nada,
El actor iba con el ceño fruncido hasta que llegaron a un restaurante, Candy notó que era muy discreto, había mesas casi ocultas con plantas, brindando un ambiente de intimidad, los condujeron a una especie de reservados, había una mesa muy bien adornada con flores y velas, música suave se dejaba escuchar para amenizar, inmediatamente fueron atendidos por un mesero.
- ¿Habías venido antes aquí? – preguntó Candy casual, pero sintiendo una punzada de celos, no podía evitar el pensar en esa posibilidad.
- Algunas veces… – contestó él escondiendo una sonrisa.
- Ya veo… – la voz de Candy se notaba diferente.
Terry no pudo evitar el sentir su ego halagado al ver los celos reflejados en los ojos de su amada pecosa, su voz le transmitía ese sentimiento y cada una de sus facciones se habían contraído con su respuesta, aún así, la rubia lucía encantadora, la tomó de la barbilla y la hizo girar con dulzura para verla a los ojos.
- Pero jamás me había metido en uno de estos reservados, siempre pedía una mesa allá afuera – le dijo – solamente contigo he querido estar así… solos, nadie más podría tener ese privilegio, si en mi corazón siempre has habitado tú.
Candy vio aquellos ojos azules, los cuales eran como un océano que la invitaban a sumergirse en la profundidad de su oscuridad, dejándose arrastrar por el vaivén de sus aguas calmas, cuando no hay tormentas, así era como veía a Terry, tranquilo, sereno.
* * *
Fue una noche esplendida, cenaron, bailaron un poco al compás de la suave música que se escuchaba, Terry parecía querer cortejarla, así, suavemente, sin prisas. Ella anhelaba sentirse de nuevo en sus brazos, era como si volara muy alto, tocar su cuerpo duro, firme, llenarse con su calidez, su aroma, el cual seguía siendo el mismo, disfrutar de aquel contacto, para después besarlo, besar aquellos labios que habían sido los únicos que habían besado los suyos.
Se besaban con pasión, ella se deleitaba al sentir como Terry jugueteaba con su boca, su sabor, quería olvidar, olvidar todo lo que había pasado en su vida. Olvidar que le habían cortado la felicidad de tajo y que aún tenía una venganza que cumplir.
Al terminar la cena, salieron del lugar, subieron al auto sin decir nada, ella recargaba su cabeza sobre el hombro de él, quien condujo hasta donde estaban los muelles, donde podían ver la oscuridad del océano.
Candy se incorporó cuando el auto se detuvo, él se bajo y rodeó el auto para ayudarla a descender gentilmente, caminaron un poco y fue entonces que se dio valor, tomando una gran bocanada de aire, habló…
- Terry – no podía verlo, sus ojos se perdían en la inmensidad mientras él la tenía abrazada.
- Dime… – contestó sin mirarla, veía también a la distancia, sabía que el momento de hablar sobre ellos había llegado.
- Háblame de tus hijos… – le pidió.
- ¿Qué quieres saber? – le preguntó al tiempo que la miraba sin entender
- Todo… – contestó sin desviar la mirada
- Son lo más preciado que tengo… los amo mucho… – Candy no habló, él sabía que podía confiar en ella, ella mejor que nadie comprendería muchas cosas, no había secretos, ni malos pensamientos, así que continuó – son… adoptados… – ella estaba en silencio, pero con una mirada lo animó a seguir hablando – Susana… los trajo en un viaje que hizo a Inglaterra para visitar a un familiar lejano, según me dijo, tenían dos años cuando los traía, lloraban mucho – sonrió – quizás porque extrañaban a su madre…
- ¿Qué pasó con la madre? – preguntó entonces Candy volteando la mirada, tratando de detener las lágrimas.
- Susana me contó que los abandonó – cuando Candy escuchó eso un dolor en el pecho la estremeció, "no era posible tanta maldad, tantas mentiras", se dijo, Terry continuó – y los había dejado desamparados… – él no se dio cuenta que en el rostro de Candy había aparecido una mirada fría, dura, llena de dolor – pero cómo se había encariñado con ellos, hizo arreglos para que pudiera adoptarlos, no tuvo corazón para darles la espalda… me dijo que pudo convencer a la encargada de la casa hogar donde estaban, aunque la condición de ésta fue que deberían ser los dos niños, ya que eran hermanos gemelos… Pareciera que estoy viendo el día que los trajo, realmente me enamoré de ellos, eran dos pequeñitos preciosos, me robaron el corazón, lloraban demasiado, tenían buenos pulmones recuerdo, desde entonces me dediqué a ellos, ya que Susana no soportaba su llanto… a mi no me interesaba, parecían estar muy a gusto conmigo… Candy ¿por qué lloras? – detuvo su relato al darse cuenta que la rubia tenía el rostro húmedo.
- Es que, al escucharte, he sentido una ternura infinita, tu relato me conmovió, eso es todo… ¿por qué no tuviste hijos propios? – desvió ella la conversación.
- Tu sabes la razón – le contestó tomando una de sus manos y la besó suavemente, ella lo miró confundida – sabes bien – continuó Terry – que mi compromiso con Susana sólo era de nombre…
- Pero… ¿hasta la fecha?
- Si, no tenemos ningún tipo de acercamiento, dormimos en cuartos separados, pero seguimos juntos para darles un hogar a los chicos – él suspiro resignado.
- ¿Por tus hijos? ¿Aunque no lleven tu sangre?
- Eso no importa, ¡los amo!, así de simple, aunque debo confesar que fue muy raro, porque desde que llegaron a mi vida, establecimos un lazo muy fuerte, una unión entre ellos y yo, que no te puedo explicar, llenaron mi vida por completo, bueno, no por completo, pero al menos me ayudaron a seguir adelante.
- "El llamado de la sangre" – pensó Candy
- No lo sé, pero no me importa si no llevan mi sangre, son mis hijos, los amo, no me interesa nada más.
- Eres un buen padre, tuvieron mucha suerte en ser adoptados por ti, comprendo todo eso, yo también fui adoptada por alguien muy especial – ella acariciaba su mejilla conteniendo las lagrimas de nuevo.
- Yo me siento afortunado por tenerlos… además, me recuerdan a ti – Candy lo miró con interrogación y él solo sonrió – son unos chicos muy fuertes, así como lo has sido tu… – le dio un beso en su frente
Ella se recargo sobre el amplio pecho masculino. Él la recibió en sus brazos con amor, mientras un viento suave comenzó a ondear los rubios cabellos, su cabeza descansaba cerca de su blanco cuello, se sentía tan completo con ella, Terry se sentía compenetrado con Candy, poder hablar así con ella, sólo ella podía comprender sus sentimientos, cerró más el abrazo, como queriendo que ese instante fuera eterno, no quería dejarla ir.
- Te odié Candy… – dijo de repente sorprendiéndola.
- … – ella cerró sus ojos y no contestó.
- Aquella mañana cuando desperté y me di cuenta después que me habías abandonado, te odié como nunca había odiado a nadie, sentí un profundo rencor hacia ti…
- Yo… – iba Candy a explicarle…
- No, no digas nada aún… – le interrumpió – me sentí engañado, traicionado… pero sobre todo, me sentí solo… me dejaste de nuevo… no entendí por qué lo habías hecho…
- Te expliqué…
- Si, en una tonta y breve carta que no me decía nada diferente a lo que ya sabía… que lo hacías por Susana… que tenías un compromiso… pero ¿qué era más importante que nuestro amor? ¿un deber? – la pregunta quedó flotando en el aire – dime Candy – continuó Terry con un tono de voz distinto, más suave – aquella noche ¿qué significó para ti?
- Aquella noche, me doy cuenta ahora, significó – contestó después de meditar un momento, Terry esperaba ansioso su respuesta – mi vida entera – dijo con suavidad, lo miró con ojos suplicantes – significó algo tan grande para mi, lo más preciado que yo tengo…
Terry se acercó a ella de modo que sus rostros estaban ya más cerca.
- ¿Me amaste? – preguntó él mientras buscaba la respuesta en las profundidades verdes de aquellos ojos que jamás olvido.
- Más que a nadie en el mundo… – contestó ella hipnotizada por su mirada.
- ¿Y ahora… me sigues amando? – ella no contestó, solo lo miró intensamente.
- No lo sé…
Terry no dijo nada, no se sintió decepcionado por su respuesta, ella lo notó, pero no cejó en el empeño y sin avisar, acercó sus labios a los de ella sin dejar de mirarla, parecía disfrutar mirando su reacción, ella sostuvo también su mirada, parecía que disfrutaba con aquel intercambio de caricias, él podía percibir la pasión con la que ella correspondía a su beso, lo profundizó, era tan embriagante saborear el néctar que emanaba de sus labios.
- Me amas aún… – dijo sin separar sus labios de los de ella, que respiraba con dificultad – me amas con la misma intensidad que aún te amo yo… – declaró.
- ¡Terry! – dijo sorprendida.
- Si, así es, necesitaba tenerte cerca nuevamente para darme cuenta que aún sigo amándote – volvió a besarla con fiereza – que estoy loco de celos. ¡Sí, tienes razón! Estoy loco de celos de que mi hijo esté junto a ti – le decía apasionado – te amo Candy, te amo con toda mi alma – la besó nuevamente, parecía no cansarse de besarla, ella no resistió más y correspondió a sus besos con mayor intensidad– dime Candy, quiero escuchar de tus labios que tu también me amas – le suplicaba besándola por todo el rostro – necesito oír que me sigues amando como yo te amo a ti.
- Te amo Terry – dijo con voz enronquecida – te amo, no puedo dejar de hacerlo y aunque me condene por ello, te seguiré amando. Y ahora te digo, que me arrepiento por haber sido tan estúpida y haberte abandonado aquel día
- Candy, fuimos unos tontos, un estúpido orgullo nos hizo perder años de felicidad, yo debí haberte ido a buscar, debí haber ido a Francia y traerte de vuelta – la soltó, se sentó y escondió su rostro – ¿y qué hice? Casarme con Susana y desgraciar mi vida – Candy se acercó a él y lo abrazó
- No te sientas así, yo fui la culpable, no debí haberte dejado, no debí haberte abandonado – lo abrazaba con fuerza, atrayéndolo a ella de manera que la cabeza de él quedó encima de sus pechos – tantos años perdidos, tantos sufrimientos, todos los sacrificios fueron en vano, te condené a una vida infeliz – comenzaron a caer lágrimas de sus ojos – fui una estúpida.
- No, no te sientas así – le tomó el rostro con sus dos manos, limpiando sus lagrimas – lo importante es que el destino y la vida se han apiadado de nuestro sufrir y nos han vuelto a reunir – la besó con ternura – eso es lo importante Candy, estamos juntos y esta vez, no nos separaremos jamás…
- Terry… – sonrió con tristeza – no podemos – y se soltó de él, caminó hacia otro lado del muelle – tu eres un hombre casado y tienes dos hijos _"que son míos también"_ – esto último lo dijo en su mente – debes pensar en…
- ¿En qué? Mis hijos tendrán que comprender cuando hable con ellos…
- No Terry, ellos quizás no entenderán…
- Claro que sí – dijo Terry muy convencido – se han dado cuenta que entre su madre y yo hay muchos problemas, muchas discusiones…
- Pero… – decía renuente Candy
- Créeme, cuando te conozcan te amarán también – decía él vehemente – solo necesitan acercarse a ti, para descubrir lo que tienes en tu alma, que sigue siendo limpia, quiero que sepan que tu eres la mujer de mi vida.
- Pero ¿y si no lo aceptan? – preguntó Candy con voz temblorosa.
Terry no supo que contestar entonces…
Continuará…
* * *
Hola queridas amigas, perdón por haber tardado tanto con este capítulo, gracias a todas aquellas amigas que me han escrito dándome ánimos, todo eso es lo que me impulsa para seguir adelante. Gracias, gracias de verdad.
Lizette_rebolledo o
lizette032002 .mx
11. Capitulo 11
**LA MENTIRA**
**CAPITULO XI**
**"El rechazo de un hijo"**
* * *
Aquella mañana Candy se levantó más temprano que de costumbre, era un día muy especial, se cumplían 18 años desde el momento en que nacieron sus hijos, 8 de diciembre, un mes muy especial para ella, aunque una tristeza empañaba el momento, una vez más, no estaría junto a ellos para abrazarlos y desearles feliz cumpleaños, como había ocurrido en los últimos 15 años.
Tomó como siempre su desayuno en la terraza, miro a su alrededor y se sintió más sola, Albert y Patty se habían ido hacía ya dos días, por lo que su apetito era mínimo, solo picó lo que le había servido Esther, la mujer que la atendía durante el día, así que se le ocurrió que al terminar su desayuno saldría a comprar unos regalos para sus hijos, eso la hizo animarse y esbozar una sonrisa, se dio una ducha y se arregló, saldría a caminar para ver las tiendas, compraría algo lindo para ellos.
Así, después de bajarse de un taxi que la llevó a las tiendas más elegantes de la quinta avenida, se metió a uno de los grandes almacenes, ahí curioseó, hasta que encontró algo perfecto para sus dos hijos, además de un pequeño presente para Terry.
No se daba cuenta que iba acaparando las miradas de los hombres que andaban comprando ahí también, era una mujer muy bella, vestida en un traje de lana color azul oscuro, con su cabello peinado en un rodete y algunos rizos saliendo, coronando su cabeza con un sombrero ridículamente pequeño, con un leve toque de maquillaje, mirando, tocando y admirando diversos y pequeños artículos con sus manos enguantadas, sus piernas enfundadas en unas medias y sus zapatillas del mismo color del vestido, era un deleite observarla, tanto como el mirar el brillo de sus ojos cada vez que descubría algo nuevo para ella, como si jamás hubiera visto nada, y así era, si hubieran sabido todo el tiempo que estuvo desconectada del mundo.
Candy se sentía un poco cansada, había caminado mucho, así que se metió a un restaurante que había en la misma avenida, tomaría algo ligero mientras descansaba, al entrar se dio cuenta que parecía un lugar familiar, había personas acompañados por sus hijos, estaba de pie junto a la entrada, esperando a que le asignaran una mesa
- Perdón, ¿el nombre de usted es Candice Andrey? – le preguntó al acercarse el capitán de meseros.
- Si… – contestó confundida, el hombre le dijo que alguien la invitaba a su mesa, Candy sorprendida se dejó guiar por el joven, quien la llevó hasta una mesa un tanto apartada de las demás, pero desde donde se podía tener una buena vista de todo, grande fue su sorpresa al ver quien era la persona que estaba sentada ahí – ¡señora!
- Hola, sabía que eras tú… – la dama sonrió, era Eleanor Backer, la madre de Terry, se levantó y la abrazó – te reconocí desde que entraste, siéntate – le invitó.
- Gracias – dijo Candy.
- ¿Cómo estás? – la saludó cuando se quedaron solas – ha pasado tanto tiempo… – aceptó Eleanor mientras un suspiro escapaba con sus palabras, a pesar de que era una mujer mayor, a Candy le sorprendió que siguiera conservando aquella belleza que la hiciera famosa en sus años mozos, y además conservaba su buen aspecto y gusto por el buen vestir, parecía que los años en vez de afectarle, le habían sentado muy bien, seguía siendo una mujer muy hermosa.
- Bastante – alcanzó a decir Candy – estoy muy bien, gracias.
- ¿Hace mucho que llegaste a Nueva York? – le preguntó.
- No, en realidad hace apenas unas semanas que estoy aquí… ¿y usted cómo ha estado? – le preguntó Candy.
- Yo estoy muy bien, un poco vieja quizás, pero bien… estoy esperando a mi hijo y a mis nietos – dijo Eleanor con naturalidad.
- ¿Cómo? – dijo poniéndose nerviosa – no sabía…
- ¡Ah mira! ¡ya están aquí! – dijo emocionada, por lo que Candy volteó a sus espaldas, sintiendo su piel fría al ver acercarse a Terry con los gemelos.
- Sabes, es el cumpleaños de mis nietos – le comentó Eleanor – ¿te sientes bien? – le preguntó al verla palidecer.
- Si, estoy bien – trató de sonreír.
- ¡Abuelita! – escuchó la voz de Dana.
- ¡Cariño! – dijo Eleanor y se levantó, Candy las miró abrazarse, en sus ojos había dolor, pero al mismo tiempo alegría de verlos, era lógico que pasaran el día con su abuela también.
- ¡Abuela! – dijo Kyle acercándose y la abrazó también.
- ¡Mi niño!
- Madre, esperamos no haber tardado tanto – escuchó a Terry, miró aquella escena, estaba junto a ellos pero se sentía excluida de aquel despliegue de cariños, entonces Terry la miró – ¡Candy!… – exclamó con agrado.
- ¡Ah! Mira hijo, la encontré esperando mesa, pero cómo te darás cuenta hay demasiadas personas, así que la invité a la mía, ¿espero que no te moleste? – dijo Eleanor.
- No madre, está bien – contestó Terry sonriendo y mirando a Candy de manera significativa, lo que no pasó desapercibido para Eleanor.
- Hola señora Candy – la saludó Kyle, besando su mano.
- Ho… hola – contestó Candy.
- Hija – dijo Terry – ella es…
- Si, sé quien es – dijo un poco seria – la señora Andrey – pero no le dio la mano, los tres notaron que la idea no le había gustado mucho a Dana.
- Perdón por interrumpir su reunión, no tenía idea… – comenzó a decir apenada la rubia.
- No te apures Candy, mi hija es a veces un poco impertinente – dijo Terry un poco serio también, no comentó nada tampoco cuando vio que Kyle se sentaba junto a ella, claro, no gustándole mucho la idea, sobre todo porque en la mirada de Candy había un brillo que no pudo descifrar, a su lado contrario estaba Eleanor, por lo que Candy quedaba frente a Terry y a Dana, quien la veía con ojos de reprobación, no entendía por qué.
- No tenemos porque estar así – comenzó a decir Eleanor – vamos a pasar un buen momento.
- No sabía que conocías a la señora Candy abuela – habló Dana aún seria.
- Hace muchos años que la conozco… es una persona a quien le tengo un profundo sentimiento de cariño, gracias a ella recuperé lo que más quería en la vida – tomó la mano de Candy mirándola sonriente, Candy le devolvió la sonrisa apenada.
- No diga eso, no me debe nada – la rubia le resto importancia.
- Lo que no entiendo es por qué mamá no nos acompañó – dijo Dana seria.
- Creo que hemos hablado sobre ese tema varias veces hija – contestó Terry poniéndose serio también.
- Hoy es nuestro cumpleaños y deberíamos pasarlo en familia – dijo Dana mirando a Candy con reprobación.
- ¡Dana! – dijo Terry.
- Tu hija tiene razón Terry – habló Candy – yo no… – iba a comenzar a levantarse.
- Candy es de la familia – habló entonces Eleanor mirando a Dana – la considero como si fuera mi hija… y tiene todo el derecho de estar con nosotros este día – nadie la interrumpió, Dana miró a su abuela, quien le sostuvo la mirada desafiándola a contradecirla.
- Lo siento – dijo Dana en voz baja, aunque fruncía el ceño.
- Yo… bueno… – comenzó a hablar Candy – como Kyle me comentó que en estos días sería su cumpleaños, me permití comprarles unos obsequios – dijo al tiempo que entregó dos pequeños paquetes – espero que les gusten.
- ¡Señora Candy! – dijo Kyle – no se hubiera molestado, gracias – abrió su obsequio presuroso – ¡es muy bello! – dijo al ver que era un reloj de bolsillo con una cadenilla, era de oro, muy de la época.
- ¿Y el tuyo que es hija? – preguntó Terry a Dana, quien con renuencia tomó su regalo, y sin decir palabra alguna comenzó a abrirlo.
- ¡Oh cariño es precioso! – comentó Eleanor.
- Gracias – dijo a regañadientes Dana, su regalo había sido un crucifijo parecido al que una vez tuvo Candy, regalo de la hermana María, pero que en la cárcel había perdido.
Pero notó con un placer escondido que Dana lo observaba y en sus ojos había aparecido una chispa de gusto, la cual al notar que era observada por Candy, desapareció volteando su mirada, Candy se sintió triste, no entendía por qué la chica la rechazaba.
- Bueno, ordenemos, tengo hambre – dijo entonces Terry.
Un mesero les tomó la orden, para Candy fue un placer inmenso el compartir esos momentos con sus hijos, se sentía realmente feliz, no podía creerlo y agradeció secretamente al cielo la oportunidad de pasar ese día con ellos, sintió que quizás habían valido la pena tantos momentos de tristeza si al final pudiera conservar ese único momento de pasarlo junto a ellos.
Después de aquel almuerzo tan animado, en el cual Candy solamente observaba, se retiraron del restaurante.
- ¿A dónde más quieren ir? – les preguntó Terry animado.
- Dicen mis amigas que hay una feria que llegó hace poco ¡llévanos allá papá! – dijo Dana.
- ¿Estás de acuerdo Kyle? – le preguntó Terry, Kyle asintió – ¿y tu madre, también estás de acuerdo? – le preguntó a Eleanor.
- Está bien hijo, como tú quieras – respondió sonriendo.
- Candy… ¿te gustaría acompañarnos? – preguntó Terry con otro tono de voz que no pasó desapercibido por Dana.
- Yo… – iba a contestar Candy.
- ¿Acaso también tiene que ir ella? – preguntó Dana sin disimular su enojo.
- ¡Dana! – la regañó Terry.
- ¿Qué Papá? – contestó de nuevo Dana – yo no estoy de acuerdo en que ella vaya.
- ¡Dana…! – iba a comenzar a discutir Terry
- No Terry, tu hija tiene razón – habló interrumpiendo a Terry tomándolo del brazo – además yo tengo cosas que hacer – dijo fingiendo una sonrisa – hoy es un día especial para ustedes, anda vayan.
- Pero señora Candy – habló Kyle.
- No te apures Kyle, de verdad, tengo algunas cosas que hacer – le sonrió.
- Hijo – habló Eleanor – tu sabes que Candy no ha vivido en Nueva York, creo que me ofrezco como guía… – convino la dama y lo miró.
- Pero, ¡Abuelita, prometiste pasar el día con nosotros! – se apuró a decir Dana cual niña pequeña que le niegan un obsequio.
- Lo sé cariño, pero no te preocupes, los recompensaré más tarde – le dijo Eleanor sonriente.
- Mamá… – dijo Terry, iba a decir algo pero cambió de opinión por la mirada que su madre le dio, sabía que su madre no se sentiría muy a gusto dejando sola a Candy – de acuerdo – volteó a mirar a Candy – perdona a mi hija.
- No te preocupes – lo miró y le guiñó un ojo.
- Nos veremos después – le dijo en voz baja cuando tomó su mano y la besó, Candy sólo asintió.
- Hasta luego señora Candy – se despidió Kyle, besando su mano también.
- Hasta luego – Contestó Candy, y con dolor vio como los tres comenzaron a alejarse, pero lo que más le había dolido era el hecho de que Dana ni siquiera volteó a mirarla.
- Vamos Candy – Eleanor la condujo y subieron a un taxi – te invito a tomar el té.
Se dirigieron a la casa de la actriz, misma que se encontraba en Manhattan, lugar donde muchas personalidades de la farándula, política y nuevos ricos tenían sus residencias, por ser un lugar que alejado de la ruidosa ciudad, además de que les brindaba tranquilidad, notó que vivía también alejada de la dirección donde sabía que Terry vivía.
Llegaron a una preciosa casa, de color blanco, con pilares flanqueando la entrada, una enorme puerta de caoba con dos macetas con arbustos muy bien cuidados daban la bienvenida, los árboles se encontraban ya sin hojas, señal de que pronto llegaría el invierno, dentro de la casa se sentía un ambiente muy acogedor y calido, mientras que afuera pequeños copos de nieve habían comenzado a caer.
- Yo… quiero ofrecerle disculpas por haber estropeado el día que pasa con sus nietos – comenzó a decir Candy mientras Eleanor la condujo hacia una salita muy bien decorada, donde tenía retratos con personalidades famosas, premios, una gran chimenea prendida, una alfombra a juego con el resto de la decoración y unos sillones grandes y confortables.
- No te preocupes, no podía abandonarte, además, los veo muy seguido y a ti, hacia muchos años que no te había visto – le sonrió la actriz y ordenó el té, sonreía cuando notó que Candy observaba las fotos que estaban arriba de la chimenea, eran de Terry y sus nietos en diferentes etapas de su crecimiento, pero en ninguna aparecía Susana, cosa que le extrañó a Candy.
- Son hermosos ¿verdad? – preguntó Eleanor.
- ¿Eh? Si… muy hermosos – contestó.
- Cuando Terry los trajo la primera vez, no pensé que me robarían el corazón – recordó mientras cerraba sus ojos – eran dos pequeños muy gritones, pero la que más gritaba era Dana, Kyle parecía un pequeño muy callado, pero cuando lloró por primera vez, comprobamos que tenía buenos pulmones – contaba sonriendo, sin saber que para Candy era un deleite saber sobre ellos – A pesar de ser adoptados, yo siempre los he sentido míos, Terry igual, no me importó que no fueran de su sangre, los dos chicos me habían robado el corazón desde que los vi, al observarlos por un largo rato, supe que eran mis nietos, claro que si, Terry entonces me pidió que guardara el secreto, sabes, fácilmente podrían pasar como sus hijos, a veces se me olvida que no son suyos, pero es que de repente yo veo parecido entre ellos – decía y Candy trató de que Eleanor no se diera cuenta de que comenzaba a ponerse nerviosa – Kyle es un chico muy apuesto, de repente noto en sus rasgos algunos parecidos a Terry, y Dana, bien podría pasar como su hija, con ese color de ojos, igual al de él… aunque quizás sea porque siempre los hemos visto como si fueran sus hijos en realidad … pero esa mujer… ¡Dios! – la actriz pasó las manos por sus ojos en clara señal de fastidio – Está mal que lo diga, pero, lo arruinó todo… – Candy sabía a quien se refería – de por si nunca me cayó bien, luego tuvo aquel bendito accidente… – tomó asiento porque el simple hecho de recordarlo la ponía mal – lo presionó hasta que casi se vuelve loco, después se casó con mi hijo y ya vez, Terry no ha sido feliz, pero la vida lo ha compensado dando y recibiendo cariño de esos chicos.
- Ya veo – contestó Candy mirando las fotos.
- ¿Y tú querida, dónde habías estado? – preguntó Eleanor cambiando de tema
- Viví en Francia mucho tiempo – esa era la versión que había acordado dar – después volví a Lakewood donde está mi hogar, hasta que me convencieron de venir a Nueva York…
- Para volver a ver a Terry… – completó la frase Eleanor, Candy volteó sorprendida – no te asombres querida, noté como se miran mi hijo y tú… el mismo brillo que tenía en su adolescencia, supongo que es natural en él, claro, siempre y cuando cierta rubia se encuentre cerca, creo que también mi nieta Dana se dio cuenta
- Yo… - la rubia se ruborizó un tanto mientras Eleanor sonreía sin poder evitarlo.
- Me hubiera hecho tan feliz si tu te hubieras quedado con Terry – comentó soñadora cerrando sus ojos – pero las circunstancias los obligaron a tomar otras decisiones… no te preocupes, yo no te juzgaré ni pensaré mal de ti por estar cerca de mi hijo nuevamente, al contrario, si en mi mano esta el ayudarlos, lo haré, no te quepa la menor duda – sonreía entusiasmada con esa idea – todo por verlo feliz completamente – concluyó.
- Señora…
- Llámame Eleanor, creo que debemos dejarnos de tantos y tan tontos formulismos –sonrió.
Llegaron con el servicio de té, el cual Eleanor sirvió, Candy se sentía contenta y tranquila, pero al mismo tiempo, no dejaba de pensar en la reacción que había tenido Dana con ella, sentía una mano helada en su corazón al recordar la mirada que le había dado la chica Dana cuando la vio sentada en la mesa.
* * *
Ya casi caía la noche cuando Candy se encontraba en la terraza de su departamento, con el toldo cubriendo el pequeño espacio, seguían cayendo pequeños copos de nieve y la noche se sentía fría, el viento jugueteaba con sus cabellos despeinándolos, ella estaba enfundada en una abrigadora bata, miraba las luces de aquella ciudad que crecía a pasos agigantados, pensaba, recordaba todas la anécdotas que le regaló Eleanor de sus hijos, las cuales la llenaron de alegría pero también de tristeza, así como de rabia e impotencia al darse cuenta de todo lo que había perdido al no estar a lado de sus pequeños, intentaba que su corazón no se llenara de amargura y odio por no haber podido disfrutar de lo que por derecho le pertenecía, mismo que le había sido arrebatado de la formas más ruin, alguna vez se cuestionó si existía alguien mas vil que Eliza Leegan, pero la respuesta llegó a ella en la persona de Susana Marlowe.
Su única esperanza la tenía al alcance de la mano, sabía que si actuaba de la manera correcta, podría tener la oportunidad de cobrárselas a la persona que había sido la causante de todo su sufrir, soltó unas lagrimas al recordar el rechazo que le había hecho Dana, su hija, sintió que quizás iba a ser un poco difícil lograr que la amaran y recordó las palabras de Terry hacía unas noches.
"- Te aseguro que te amarán en cuanto te conozcan – le había asegurado dándole un beso en su cabeza – mis hijos no son tan malos… sé que te adorarán…"
El timbre de la puerta la hizo dejar sus pensamientos, se limpió las lágrimas que habían derramado sus ojos, se dirigió a abrir y quiso soltarse a llorar cuando vio de quien se trataba.
- Hola – saludó Terry con voz suave. llenando con su presencia ese espacio tan lleno de soledad que sentía su corazón.
- Hola – con voz suave respondió.
Él supo que algo no andaba bien, la conocía tan bien, notó que en sus ojos había una pequeña cortina cristalina, buscó la mirada que Candy quería intentaba esconder sin éxito, sin decir palabra, la abrazó.
Al sentir los cálidos brazos masculinos a su alrededor, su calor y su aroma, Candy no pudo menos que comenzar a llorar, Terry sentía su cuerpo convulsionarse suavemente por los sollozos, así que la abrazaba y acariciaba su cabello, trataba de brindarle consuelo, sabía que algo tenía que ver el desaire que le había hecho su hija horas antes, ella era muy sensible a los rechazos, él lo sabía.
- Tranquila mi pequeña pecosa – le comenzó a hablar y besaba su cabeza – no quiero que estés triste.
- Me siento muy mal – le dijo hipando.
- No tienes por qué… – limpió sus lagrimas con un pañuelo que despedía su aroma, tan conocido para ella – mi hija es una niña aún, creo que piensa que le debe tener lealtad a Susana, a pesar de que no los trata muy bien – Candy lo miró sin entender – si, ¿sabías que a pesar de que hoy era su cumpleaños, Susana no les dio un regalo? ¿quién vino a darles uno? Además claro, de mi madre y de mí… Tú, tú les diste un regalo, te voy a confiar un secreto – él sonreía y sostenía el rostro de ella con su mano – después de que nos despedimos, mi hija me pidió que le pusiera en su cuello el crucifijo – Candy parpadeaba tratando de no llorar más – Y Kyle – Terry no pudo dejar de sonreír – Kyle se sentía contento de recibir un regalo también, mi hijo ha sufrido mucho…
- Lo sé, él me lo contó – le dijo Candy.
- Lo has conquistado también – le dijo Terry – así conquistarás también a mi hija…
- Voy a tratar de hacerlo – dijo Candy, miró a Terry y ahora fue ella la que se acercó a sus labios, ofreciéndole los suyos, él los recibió respondiendo el beso, primero tiernamente y después con pasión.
Se besaban con una necesidad tan grande el uno del otro, sentían que no podrían aguantar más esa pasión que minaba todo su ser, contenida durante tanto tiempo dentro de ellos, quemándolos, pero Terry no quería ofenderla de esa manera, ofreciéndole una relación extramarital, no, quería ofrecérsela limpiamente, sin ninguna atadura, sin ninguna consecuencia, quería que todo el mundo supiera que ella era la mujer de su vida, llevarla del brazo por todos lados, pero primero tenía que arreglar las cosas con Susana.
- Creo… que… debemos detenernos – dijo ahora Terry separando sus labios con renuencia de los de ella.
- Pero… ¿por qué? – preguntó confundida Candy.
- No quiero que nuestro amor sea así… – hablaba con dulzura mientras la veía directo a los ojos.
- ¿Cómo? – preguntó de nuevo sin entender.
- Prohibido, sucio, no quiero que te sientas mal por esto… quiero ofrecerte un amor libre de todo, exhibirte de mi brazo sin que te avergüences, no quiero esconder todo esto que siento por ti, soy aún un hombre casado, no quiero orillarte a que te sientas en una situación difícil, ni exponerte ante nadie. Eres una dama, una bella y hermosa dama que merece tener lo mejor.
- Terry…
- Te amo tanto que no quiero involucrarte en algo que te perjudique, no quiero que nadie hable mal de ti, no soportaría que siquiera lo insinuaran, pero tampoco puedo alejarme, no puedo estar tanto tiempo lejos de ti… sería tan difícil estar sin ti, no puedo ni quiero… suficiente tiempo hemos perdido, sólo te pido que me permitas arreglar los problemas con Susana… después estaremos juntos, te lo prometo y entonces podré amarte como yo quiero… como deseo… – le dio un beso suave.
- De acuerdo…
- Te necesito, no podría estar sin ti– volvió a tomar sus labios con suavidad – por eso, te pido por favor, que no me niegues la oportunidad de que nos veamos, aquí, si tu quieres, vendré después de mis ensayos ¿te parece? Aunque sea un momento – la miró ansioso esperando su respuesta, a pesar de tener un temor escondido, no sabía que haría si ella se negaba.
- Está bien Terry, entiendo… yo tampoco quiero estar sin ti… te esperaré… – aceptó y sonrió.
- Candy… – él no pudo evitar que un suspiro saliera al decir su nombre y la besó nuevamente, jugando con sus labios, él había sentido que se le abrían las puertas de la gloria, esperaría con ansias la llegada de las noches para poder verla, aunque fuera solo unos momentos.
* * *
Y así comenzó un nuevo capítulo en la vida de Candy, por las noches se veía con Terry, quien siempre llevaba algo para cenar con ella, las pasaba en su compañía, platicando, él le contaba cosas y anécdotas del tiempo en que estuvieron separados, ella escuchaba con atención, esbozando sonrisas cada vez que el le narraba alguna travesura o situación graciosa de sus pequeños, claro que, cuidando de que él no supiera nada de su vida en esos años, no era tiempo aún para que él lo supiera, todo llegaría en su momento, Terry se había propuesto no tocarla como él quería hacerlo, la respetaba, la amaba demasiado y con intentaba conformarse, ella lo entendió también así, aunque en ocasiones sentían que no se detendrían cuando la pasión aparecía queriendo explotar en ellos, pero aún así, haciendo uso de todas sus fuerzas se detenían.
Durante el día recibía la visita de Kyle, a Candy le encantaba estar cerca de su hijo, quien le platicaba todo lo que había pasado por su aún corta vida, anécdotas y pasajes de su vida en Inglaterra, que a Candy la llenaban de nostalgia, iba conociendo cada vez más a su hijo, aunque también trataba de que Kyle le contara de Dana, saber cómo era.
Descubrió, gracias a esas largas pláticas con su hijo, que Dana era idéntica en carácter a Terry, voluntariosa, terca, incapaz a veces de reconocer sus errores, pero también era noble y tenía un gran corazón, quizás de los dos, Dana era la más parecida no sólo físicamente a su amado, sino la más fuerte de los dos.
Kyle también le contó que Dana le tenía un cierto cariño a su madre adoptiva, lo que éste no entendía, ya que se había dado cuenta que también a Dana la trataba muy mal, la menospreciaba, la hacía sentirse tonta, pero su hija sentía que era su deber estar cerca de "su madre" y procurarle cuidados por la simple razón de que la habían adoptado.
Candy sentía arder su sangre cuando escuchaba todo aquello, sentía que no soportaría más e iría a pedirle cuentas a Susana por todo lo que les había hecho y les seguía haciendo a sus hijos, pero controlaba su ira hundiéndose en las lagunas verdes de su pequeño, era lo único que la fortalecía y no lo perdería, no en esos momentos en que empezaban a ganarse su confianza y su afecto.
* * *
Una tarde, Candy se encontraba en casa de Eleanor, su relación amistosa iba más allá de todo, ambas tenían intereses y personas importantes en sus vidas, que sin saber la actriz, ambas compartían, Eleanor le había ofrecido un cariño que la rubia aceptó, ya que en esos momentos más que nunca lo necesitaba.
- De verdad Candy ¿no crees que Clarise Jonson sea buena actriz? – le preguntaba Eleanor.
- Pues, no lo sé, no sé mucho de teatro – contestó Candy.
Las dos mujeres platicaban amenamente sobre teatro mientras compartían el té, de repente, la puerta de la sala se abrió de golpe, era Susana, quien tenía pintado el rostro de furia, caminaba con su bastón.
- Así que mi querida suegra recibe en su casa a una cualquiera… – Susana no podía esconder su inmenso odio.
- Perdón señora, pero la señora Susana… – comenzó a disculparse angustiada la mucama.
- No se preocupe Rose, hay personas que no tienen la más mínima idea de la educación – dijo Eleanor muy seria, mirando a Susana con desprecio y la mucama salió pronunciando unas disculpas – ¿A qué debemos tu visita Susana? – preguntó entonces Eleanor sin invitarla a sentarse.
- No es una visita de cortesía, mi querida suegra – dijo Susana con ironía, mirando a Candy con enojo, obteniendo de la rubia algo más que enojo en su mirada, desafío y burla pudo notar tras una mueca de la rubia.
- De eso ya me he dado cuenta – contestó Eleanor con sarcasmo – así que, no entiendo que vienes a hacer aquí, de antemano sabes que no eres bien recibida, por lo que te pido que te vayas de mi casa, sólo en la compañía de mis nietos puedo tolerar tu presencia, no pidas más de lo que no mereces.
- ¿Sus nietos? – pregunto burlona Susana – no me haga reír.
- Sí Susana, SUS NIETOS – respondió Candy, adelantándose a Eleanor, sorprendiéndola con la determinación que vio en aquellos ojos verdes.
- Márchate ya Susana, no eres bienvenida – Eleanor le señaló la puerta con enfado.
- Lo sé señora, pero veo que personas más indeseables sí son recibidas – contestó Susana mirando con desprecio y odio a Candy.
Eleanor se dio cuenta que Candy se iba acercando a Susana.
- Candy, querida… – dijo Eleanor.
- La vida da muchas vueltas. Nos volvemos a encontrar Susana – Candy la miraba tras una mascara de odio que la ex actriz supo descifrar, pero no se amedrento.
- Ya veo Candy – contestó Susana con una sonrisa de medio lado.
- Jamás pensaste volver a verme, ¿no es así?
- Por supuesto que no, ¿Cómo es posible que hayan dejado salir a una asesina? – dijo Susana y Eleanor se sorprendió, mirando con interrogación a Candy – ¿No lo sabía?, Oh, lamento tanto tener que ser yo quien se lo diga, pero – Susana veía con burla y una sensación de triunfo a la rubia – señora Baker, ¡Candy es una asesina!
- ¡Mentira! ¡Todo fue una trampa! ¡Tú fuiste la responsable! – la enfrentó la rubia mientras Eleanor la tomaba del brazo para detenerla.
- Solamente vine a advertirte… – dijo Susana sin hacer caso a lo que había dicho Candy.
- ¿Advertirme? Tú, me vienes a advertir, ¿a mi? – preguntó enojada la rubia – Por favor – la exasperación la estaba dominando por completo.
- Sí, te advierto – y recalcó las palabras – que si te sigues acercando a Terry, le diré todo, le diré donde estuviste, piensa en… "sus hijos" – recalcó la palabra "hijos" Susana amenazante – aléjate de él, jamás será para ti, nunca permitiré que estén juntos ¡él es mío! – se dio media vuelta, casi ya no usaba el bastón, su pierna se había adaptado a la prótesis y caminaba casi normal – si eres inteligente sabrás hacer "lo correcto" – fue lo último que dijo.
Susana salió de ahí dejando una estela de tensión, Candy se había quedado muda, la furia reflejada en su rostro mientras apretaba con fuerza sus puños, no había podido decir nada más, realmente era una mujer muy peligrosa, tenía que pensar en cómo resolvería esto, su lucha no había terminado, a decir verdad, apenas había comenzado.
- Candy… ¿te sientes bien? – preguntó Eleanor y la rubia se volvió a ella, mirándola como si no la reconociera.
- Perdón… – dijo después de un momento – debo irme… – se puso muy nerviosa, se había dado cuenta que Susana seguía afectándola, a pesar de todo.
- Pero criatura ¿cómo te vas a ir? – le dijo Eleanor preocupada – mírate como estás, pálida y temblorosa, ven, siéntate – la guió hacia un sillón, Candy se dejó caer y cerró sus ojos – toma, te hará bien – le ofreció una copa de brandy.
- No, estoy bien… gracias – se negó ella.
- No estás bien, anda, tómala, hará que te recuperes – le dijo Eleanor y Candy aceptó la copa, observándola por un momento y luego tomándola de un solo trago, sintió como el líquido resbaló por su garganta, haciendo que tosiera y le quemara el estómago, pero su rostro recuperó su color.
- Gracias… – dijo con suavidad, en su mirada había confusión, no sabía cómo actuar.
- Creo querida – le dijo suavemente Eleanor – que tenemos que hablar, lo que dijo esa mujer te afectó… ¿a qué se refirió? – la actriz la miraba con dulzura reflejada en sus ojos.
Candy la miró, sabía que tenía que confiar en alguien, tenía que hablar, tenía que contar su verdad, además de aquella que no le había dicho aquel día a Albert y a los demás, la que la perseguía con sus pesadillas, la verdad que aún llevaba escondida en su alma, tenía que sacarla… o de lo contrario moriría de angustia…
Continuará…
* * *
Notitas: bueno aquí esta otro capítulo más de esta historia.
Les pido mil disculpas por tardar tanto en subirlo, pero en fin de semana la pc se encuentra ocupada por mi esposo todo el santo día y ni para mirar nada, solo hasta hoy que puedo usarla un poco, así que muchas gracias por la espera y por sus comentarios. Muchas gracias!
12. Capitulo 12
**LA MENTIRA**
**CAPITULO XII**
**"Mi verdad"**
Aquel momento era en verdad lleno de tensión, Candy no sabía cómo comenzar a decir todo, al fin, después de unos minutos de donde el único sonido del crepitar del fuego se dejaba escuchar en aquel silencio, comenzó a decir:
- Yo… – comenzó a decir Candy – estuve en… la cárcel…
- ¡Por Dios! – Eleanor se llevó las manos a la boca sorprendida.
- Acusada de… un crimen que no cometí… –
Comenzó su relato, aquel que Albert y los demás conocían, conforme la actriz se enteraba de todo, se horrorizaba y apiadaba al mismo tiempo de lo que había sufrido aquella muchacha, admirando la mujer de temple fuerte que en ella había, trató de aguantar las lágrimas que pugnaban por salir al escuchar todo lo que iba diciendo Candy…
Frase tras frase, acontecimiento tras acontecimiento se fueron grabando en su mente y en su corazón, cuando Candy mencionó la palabra "Hijos", se puso alerta, frunció el ceño, sin embargo, no la interrumpió… cual si fuera una película, Eleanor siguió el relato de aquella joven, mientras que las imágenes se trazaban en su mente como si pudiera plasmar en ellas todo lo vivido por esa mujer que tenía frente a ella, tratando de ver y entender aquel inmenso sufrir en el que se había visto envuelta…
**_"Fue entonces cuando el fiscal habló" – Candy continuó…_**
No había duda alguna, el revivir esa parte de su vida la seguía lastimando sobremanera, aun así, la actriz siguió en completo silencio, sólo aferrándose de las manos de la rubia para infundirle valor.
**- _La fiscalía llama a declarar a la señora Susana Granchester – un murmullo se levantó en la sala, ya que sabían que ésta tenía una amistad con Candy y no entendían que iba a hacer ahí…"_**
Eleanor se puso alerta cuando escuchó el nombre de Susana, no podía creer que estuviera tan vinculada con Candy
**_"Yo miré con angustia la presencia de Susana en aquel lugar, no entendía que hacía esa mujer ahí, me lo pregunté mientras la veía caminar apoyada sobre su bastón, movimiento que le permitía su prótesis, llegó hasta el pulpito, ahí, un uniformado le pidió su juramento, el cual llevó a cabo, después comenzaron a hacerle preguntas, me sentí morir cuando escuché lo último que dijo._**
**- _¿Está usted segura que la enfermera Candice White hizo deliberadamente la aplicación de la inyección con una medida más alta de la recetada? – preguntó el fiscal_**
**- _…Si… ella me había dicho que el señor Parker estaba sufriendo mucho y que no tenía corazón para verlo sufrir… Candy es tan buena, siempre piensa en los demás y creyó que con esa acción lo ayudaría a que no siguiera sufriendo… – contestó Susana poniendo cara de inocencia y con voz dulce._**
**- _Gracias señora Granchester – dijo el fiscal y ella comenzó a salir del pulpito con trabajo, para luego dirigirse hacia los asientos, mientras Candy solamente miraba decepcionada al suelo, al tiempo que el miedo inundaba su alma, no podía creer que Susana hubiera dicho todo aquello…_**
**_El juez ordenó que el jurado pasara a deliberar su decisión y que esperarían, tiempo que se le hizo eterno a Candy, no podía creer que estuviera en aquella posición, parecía una pesadilla, no le importaba nada más que el futuro que tendrían sus hijos, dónde irían a parar, posiblemente los mandarían a un orfanato, tenía que hacer algo, pero, ¿qué?..._**
**- _Bien – se escuchó después la voz del juez – ¿el jurado tiene el veredicto?_**
**- _Si señor Juez – el encargado de hablar en el jurado continuó después de que el juez leyera el veredicto – encontramos a la señora Candice White, culpable_.**
**_Candy sintió que el piso se abría y poco a poco empezaba a hundirse sin poder hacer nada..._**
**- _Sentencio a Candice White a 30 años de prisión… – la joven ya no escuchó lo demás, en su mente solamente se repetían los años en que estaría purgando una condena por un crimen que no cometió._**
**_Era el comienzo de la oscuridad en su vida…_**
**_Al principio todo fue difícil, no sólo el adaptarse a esa situación, lo más grave de todo, era que el hecho de que su licencia de enfermería le había sido retirada, no volvería a ejercer su profesión, así que tenía que ver la manera de salir adelante, los primeros días, una trabajadora social le traía noticias de sus hijos, los estaban cuidando en una casa hogar, y cabía la posibilidad de que alguien los quisiera adoptar, ya que ella no iba a poder atenderlos._**
**_Después de aquella noticia, lloró amargamente, no podía creer que perdería también a sus pequeños._**
**_Pero una visita le vino a dar el tiro de gracia._**
**- _Candice White, tiene visita – dijo una celadora llevándola hasta un lugar donde vería a la persona, ella iba extrañada ¿Quién quería verla? Si todas las personas que conocía le habían dado la espalda._**
**- _Hola Candy – era Susana Marlowe, que vestida elegantemente, lucía rara en aquel lugar tan deprimente_**
**- _Susana – siseó Candy sin alzar la voz, una mirada de confusión y rencor dirigió a su "visita"._**
**- _Te preguntarás que hago aquí – dijo fingiendo inocencia y una tristeza que estaba muy lejos de sentir – pues bien, vengo a animarte…_**
**- _No Susana, tú a mi no me engañas – la interrumpió Candy…_**
**- _Bien – dijo entonces burlándose de ella y viéndola con odio – ¡quitémonos las caretas entonces! Tienes razón, no tengo por qué engañarte más, jamás pensé volver a verte… maldita casualidad que volvió a unir nuestros caminos… volver a ver a la persona que más odio en la vida… _**
**- _No entiendo por qué – dijo Candy muy seria._**
**- _¿No lo entiendes? – dijo – ¡Por tu culpa Terry no me ama! No me ama – repitió – ¿por qué? Porque sigue pensando en ti, en una mujercita insignificante… – decía con furia. _**
**- _Se casó contigo…_**
**- _¡Es verdad, se casó conmigo! Pero… ¿sabes qué? No me ama, está casado conmigo, es mi esposo, ¿y qué? Nunca está conmigo, ni siquiera me besa – decía con amargura – ¿y por qué? Porque siempre está pensando en la mujer que lo abandonó… _**
**- _No tengo la culpa… _**
**- _¡Tienes mucha culpa! – le interrumpió nuevamente, mirándola con odio – y jamás permitiré que sepa que tienes dos hijos de él – Candy la miró con asombro – ¡Si! ¿crees que no me daría cuenta? ¡Hay que estar ciegos para no darse cuenta que son el vivo retrato de él! No lo sabrá nunca, eso te lo puedo asegurar… te odio Candy, con todo mi corazón… no hay mayor recompensa que el verte ahí, encerrada como lo que eres, una maldita entrometida… – tras decir esto, sonrió con maldad._**
**- _Aún así, no comprendo porque me odias tanto – dijo con tristeza Candy – tienes lo que siempre quisiste, a Terry, se quedó contigo, se casó contigo ¿no es eso lo que querías?_**
**- _Si, claro que eso era lo que quería, pero también quería que me amara… pero no me daré por vencida, pronto lograré que me ame – dijo sonriendo con maldad Susana – contigo aquí encerrada, sin tus hijos… y Terry ignorando la existencia de ellos, no hay peligro… me amará… lograré que te olvide al fin… porque se dará cuenta que tu estás… muerta, que no estamos alejados de la realidad ¿o no querida?_**
**- _¡Eres una maldita! – dijo entonces furiosa Candy_**
**- _Lo sé querida… pero no tanto como lo eres tu… debiste haberte alejado de Terry… él es mío y siempre lo será, – continuó en forma despectiva – cuando salgas de aquí serás una anciana y entonces Terry te habrá por fin olvidado, ¡ ja, ja, ja, ja! ¡qué mayor placer que recibir esta visión de ti! Ahí vencida, derrotada y… tus hijos… ¡ah, esos pequeños bastardos!… los que jamás sabrán quienes son sus padres… ¡Ah! Porque déjame decirte que Terry nunca sabrá que tiene hijos… porque siempre serán unos pobres huérfanos… ¡quién sabe que será de ellos!_**
**- _¡Eres una maldita enferma! – le gritó Candy – sólo te advierto…_**
**- _¿Me adviertes Candy? – la interrumpió burlándose._**
**- _¡Si Susana! ¡te advierto, si dañas a mis hijos! Te las verás conmigo – la amenazó destellando furia en la mirada._**
**- _Querida – dijo burlona – primero tienes que salir de aquí… y para que eso suceda, falta mucho tiempo…_**
**_Salió de aquel lugar dejando su estela de perfume, misma que mareó a Candy._**
**_Después de aquel trago tan amargo, al siguiente día recibió la visita de la trabajadora social, quien con una total y decepcionante indiferencia le comunicó que sus hijos habían sido dados en adopción a una familia. _**
**_Sintió que el cielo se derrumbaba sobre ella, en un tono completamente negro, fue llevaba a la enfermería por un desmayo que la obligó a permanecer en cama durante varios días, entró en una terrible depresión, las enfermeras del lugar se compadecieron al verla así, el estado en que se encontraba aquella criatura de rostro angelical, lloraba y lloraba, llamaba a sus niños, no comía, tenían que aplicarle sedante tras sedante, fue entonces que una de las enfermeras más jóvenes al ver la situación de Candy tan delicada, tomó en sus manos la situación de la joven y trató de investigar lo que había sucedido en relación a sus hijos._**
**_Pasaron varios días más, hasta que logró informarse de que quién había adoptado a los niños, era nada menos que la misma Susana, la mujer que había atestiguado en su caso, y se había embarcado al día siguiente de haber venido a visitarla rumbo a América con los dos niños_**
Finalizó Candy su relato, mientras las lágrimas caían de sus ojos sin tregua…
- Dios mío.
Pronunció en voz baja Eleanor, sus manos estaban entrelazadas en su pecho, miró a aquella mujer con sus defensas minadas por tanto sufrimiento, desvalida, lastimada, llorando con tanto dolor, se acercó a ella y la abrazó, Candy se sintió confortada aquel calor que la envolvía, tranquila y liberada de haber sacado desde el fondo de su corazón todo ese pesar, con alguien que la había escuchado y entendido. La actriz lloró también con ella, mientras en su mente una sola idea se repetía, ayudar a esa mujer, la comprendía ya que ella era madre también y un día alguien también la había separado de su hijo.
* * *
Terry salió del teatro, habían terminado sus ensayos, aún no era tan tarde, así que como todas las noches se dirigió al departamento de Candy, se detuvo solamente a comprar unas flores para ella.
Cuando llegó a la puerta del departamento, tocó, nadie le abrió, volvió a tocar y esperó, pero no obtuvo respuesta alguna, le intrigó que ella no estuviera en casa, pero ¿dónde estaría?
Estuvo unos momentos más esperando, pero Candy no llegó, los celos comenzaron a hacer su labor, porque claro, pensaba dónde podría estar ya que ella no conocía a nadie en Nueva York, ¿conocería a alguien? No, no pienses mal de ella, te ha dicho que te ama, se dijo, así que al no llegar su damisela, se retiró del lugar, dirigiéndose de mala gana a su casa.
- ¡Papá! – dijo Dana al verlo llegar temprano.
- Hola cariño – la saludó Terry, se dio cuenta que Susana estaba en la misma habitación, haciendo tejido, pero Terry no habló con ella.
- ¡Vaya! ¿Qué ha pasado que tenemos el honor de tu presencia? – preguntó con sarcasmo Susana, Terry no le contestó.
- ¿Dónde está Kyle? – preguntó con una punzada en el pecho y cierto aire de desasociego.
- En su recamara – contestó Dana mientras su padre dio un suspiro de alivio.
"Entonces, ¿dónde estará?"Pensó, ya que su primera opción era que quizás su hijo se había atrevido a invitarla a salir y ella hubiera aceptado, pero sintió un alivio al saber que su hijo estaba en su recamara.
- Veo que no tuviste una razón para estar fuera de casa hoy – volvió a hablar Susana.
- Hija ¿puedes dejarme un momento a solas con tu madre? – le dijo Terry a Dana.
- Ja, yo no soy su madre – respondió la mujer mientras continuaba su labor.
- Si papá – Dana dio un beso en la mejilla del actor, dominando su llanto se acercó a darle uno a su madre, ésta volteó su cara, evitando así el contacto, Terry empuñó sus manos, mientras la chica se iba con tristeza y lágrimas en su rostro.
- ¿Por qué la tratas así? – preguntó Terry después que Dana se fuera.
- ¿Cómo? – preguntó sin darle importancia.
- Tu hija quería darte un beso de buenas noches ¿y qué hiciste? Prácticamente la rechazaste – le reclamó Terry.
- No me di cuenta – contestó indiferente Susana – además, no es mi hija, ¿ahora qué te sucedió? ¿no encontraste con quien quedarte hoy? – preguntó Susana volviendo a la carga.
- No creo que te interese – le contestó Terry – me voy a dormir – dijo acercándose al picaporte.
- Terry… – habló Susana, al tiempo que se levantaba de su silla – ¿por qué me rechazas?
- Hemos hablado de eso durante tanto tiempo Susana, creo que deberías saberlo ya – respondió él fastidiado y mirándola.
- No, no lo sé, lo único que sé, es que yo te amo, siempre te he amado – le dijo suplicante – y quiero estar contigo… – trató de poner una mano en su pecho.
- Lo siento mucho Susana… – dijo evitando el contacto de ella.
- ¿Lo ves? No permites siquiera que te toque – le reclamó – no sabes cuánto daño me haces con esas actitudes, yo quiero estar contigo, quiero amarte y que me ames…
- No puedo hacerlo, lo sabes bien – dijo Terry desviando la mirada a otra parte.
- ¿Por qué? ¿por qué ella volvió a aparecer? ¿es eso verdad? ¿ella está de nuevo contigo? – Susana comenzaba a enojarse.
- No es así, tú sabes bien la razón… – le contestó.
- ¿Crees que ella estará contigo? Yo creo que si – preguntó, respondiéndose ella misma – aceptará ser tu amante, es lo único que le puede quedar ser… tu amante… no puede aspirar a más.
- No Susana, ahora si te equivocas… – le interrumpió él – ella no aceptaría ser mi amante… ni es lo único a que puede aspirar… ya que yo soy quien no lo permitirá – después de una pausa dijo – Me voy a divorciar de ti.
- ¡Qué! – dijo Susana – ¡No, no puedes!
- Todos estos años he vivido contigo, he estado a tu lado… – hablaba él tranquilamente mientras comenzaba a caminar en dirección a la ventana.
- ¡Después de todo lo que hice por ti! – decía desesperada Susana – ¡me debes tu vida!
- Creo que… después de todos estos años a tu lado, cuidándote, creo que te he pagado con creces… No te debo nada – contestó Terry
- ¡Si! ¡pero jamás me has amado! ¡Nunca hemos consumado siquiera nuestro matrimonio! – hablaba con desesperación – ¡No has querido besarme siquiera! ¡Mucho menos tocarme!
- No pude hacerlo…jamás podré…
- Pensé que al llegar los niños me amarías… pero ni siquiera eso, una caricia o un poco más de tú presencia, y nunca has querido darme hijos propios.
- Yo te agradezco, agradezco que hayas aceptado unos hijos que no eran tuyos, a quienes he llegado a amar profundamente…
- ¡Y no fue suficiente para hacer que me amaras a mí! – le gritó fuera de sí.
- No pude Susana, – le repitió – no pude amarte…
La tensión que se sentía se podía cortar con unas tijeras…
- ¡No puedo creerlo! – decía mirándolo con dolor, él estaba muy serio, mientras ella llevó una mano a su pecho – después de todo este tiempo – continuó – primero no querías casarte conmigo, ponías cualquier pretexto, después pensé que habías logrado sentir algo cuando me pediste casarte lo más pronto posible… traté entonces de agradarte, intenté por todos los medios que me amaras, pero siempre estabas distante… después creí que habiendo niños en la casa te sentirías agradecido y lograría que me amaras, tener que soportar criaturas ajenas para tener siquiera un poco de amor tuyo… ¡Pero no! No era suficiente… ¿y ahora? Te quieres divorciar de mí… – Comenzó a llorar – ¡Dios!
- Sabes Susana, ese es tu problema… que quieres que yo te siga agradeciendo infinitamente por lo que has hecho – enfadado Terry la enfrentó – en primera, yo no te pedí salvarme aquel día… es más, lo maldigo, porque a pesar de estar vivo, estoy muerto por dentro desde entonces… en segunda, jamás te pedí que trajeras hijos ajenos a nuestras vidas, pero lo acepté, porque los amo, con toda la fuerza de mi corazón, pero no puedo vivir eternamente agradecido, ni puedes hacer que yo te ame a la fuerza… si algo bueno hubo en nuestra relación, por llamarla de alguna forma, son precisamente esos niños, que quitaron el tono gris a mi vida, pero aún así, mi corazón es de una sola mujer, siempre lo ha sido y siempre lo será.
- ¡Cállate! – ella lo abofeteó con rabia, aquellas palabras no solo le revelaban la verdad que intentaba ocultar, sino que herían su orgullo en lo más profundo – ¡Cállate! ¡no sabes lo que dices! ¡tú me amas a mí! ¡y conmigo te quedarás!
Terry se quedó parado un rato, luego volvió a ella y con marcado enfado la enfrentó.
- ¡No vuelvas a hacer eso!
- ¿Te quieres ir con tu mujerzuela? Bien ¡Hazlo! Y dile que te diga donde ha estado todos estos años… ¡Pregúntale! – y se salió de la habitación subiendo lo más aprisa que le permitía su pierna, dejando a Terry con una interrogación.
¿Qué había querido decir Susana con preguntarle a Candy donde había estado todos estos años?
Tomó su saco y salió nuevamente de su casa, se dirigió al departamento de su rubia pecosa, llegó agitado por las prisas y la duda clavada en su corazón, tocó nuevamente el timbre y nadie salió, se le hizo extraño ¿dónde estaba Candy?
Muchas dudas comenzaron a brincar en su mente ¿habría salido con alguien? ¿Y si era así, porque no llegaba ya? ¿Dónde estaba ahora?
* * *
Mientras, en casa de Eleanor Backer, infinidad de lágrimas habían salido por dos pares de ojos, Candy se sentía desecha, Eleanor la había llevado a una de las recamaras de su casa, la ayudó a acostarse en la cama, la más joven se sentía triste y cansada, el peso que llevara a cuestas lo había liberado abruptamente y eso había sido desgastante, parecía que su alma descansaría al fin un poco.
Para Eleanor era difícil creer todo lo que Candy le acababa de contar, viéndola dormir ahora gracias a que la hiciera tomar un té para calmarla y así pudiera descansar.
Cerró con cuidado la puerta de su cuarto, iba preocupada, pensando en el gran compromiso que había recibido de manos de Candy, tenía que buscar una solución para ayudar a esa joven, a la madre de sus nietos, una emoción enorme inundo su pecho al poder decir con toda seguridad que lo eran, que a pesar de todo el dolor descrito por la joven, algo bueno había resultado de eso.
Había terminado de bajar las escaleras, cuando escuchó el timbre, el mayordomo se acercó a abrir, ni bien terminaba de abrir la puerta Terry entró con desesperación, lucía muy agitado, al verlo, Eleanor frunció el ceño, el rostro de su hijo denotaba preocupación y malestar. Sólo de imaginar a la causante de todo, sintió su sangre hervir.
- ¡Terry cariño! ¿Qué sucede? – preguntó Eleanor.
- Mamá, perdona que venga así y a estas horas – le contestó – discutí con Susana.
- Entiendo, aunque no me extraña, supongo que no es por eso que estás así ¿o me equivoco? – le preguntó
- ¿Cómo lo sabes? – inquirió él enarcando una ceja.
- Porque te he visto cuando discutes con Susana y nunca te pones de esta manera, además, es algo con lo que has aprendido a lidiar, ¿hay algo más, verdad?
- Está bien madre – sonrió de medio lado – si hay otro motivo más poderoso.
- Bien, sabes que puedes confiar en mí.
- Verás fui a… visitar a Candy…
- Y no la encontraste – completó la frase.
- ¿Cómo es que tú…?
- Hijo, no hay que ser adivinos, lo sé porque sé cómo te afecta todo lo concerniente a ella… desde que eras un adolescente, ven – lo llevó a la sala donde había estado antes con Candy – te he observado cuando está cerca de ti y me he dado cuenta de cómo se miran ¿la sigues amando, verdad? – quiso ella saber luego de ofrecerle una copa.
- Si… además… la he seguido viendo… – aceptó él tras meditar un poco su respuesta…
- Hijo, eres un hombre casado…
- Lo sé, pero no puedo dejarla mamá – la interrumpió mirándola con súplica, quería que ella lo entendiera – la amo, la sigo amando, siempre la he amado… yo…
- Hijo… te entiendo – se acercó a él y acercó la cabeza masculina en un tierno y sincero gesto de apoyo, él se abrazó a la cintura de su madre cual niño que requiere atención – entiendo lo que has sufrido desde que se separaron… y creo que… ella está en la misma situación que tú, pero comprende que no se merece un amor a escondidas…
- Lo sé – se separó de ella – por eso le he pedido el divorcio a Susana.
- ¿Le pediste el divorcio? – preguntó incrédula y feliz al mismo tiempo que levantaba el rostro de su hijo para mirarlo.
- Si… ya sabe que Candy está en Nueva York…
- Si, ya lo sabe… – le confirmó ella, Terry la miró con interrogación – vino aquí, yo tenía invitada a Candy conmigo…
- ¿Candy estaba contigo? – preguntó entre feliz y molesto consigo mismo.
- Si, Susana la encontró aquí y al verla, la insultó.
- ¡Diablos! ¿Pero dónde está Candy? ¿Se ha ido? Sabía que no era normal no encontrarla en su apartamento, debo ir a buscarla, no conoce la ciudad y…
Eleanor podía sentir como en cada palabra su hijo denotaba una inmensa ansiedad por el bienestar de su joven huésped, así mismo, el gran amor que aún le profesaba a aquella chiquilla que conociera en Inglaterra, lo observó levantarse del sillón con la intención de irse así que habló.
- Cálmate, todo está bien, acepto que Candy se puso tan mal con la visita de esa mujer que no la dejé ir, le afectó de tal forma que lo menos que necesitaba era estar sola – le dijo tiernamente – está en tu recamara, durmiendo
- ¡Oh Dios! – dijo sentándose nuevamente dando un suspiro de alivio – y yo ¡como siempre! ¡los malditos celos!
- Pensaste mal ¿verdad? – lo miró con reprobación, aunque una sonrisa se dibujaba de medio lado.
- Lo siento – dijo Terry apenado.
- Está bien hijo, la amas y el amor no siempre es racional, siempre has sido así, demasiado apasionado en todo lo que implica a Candy…
Él no pudo hacer otra cosa más que liberar una sonrisa más relajada…
- ¿Puedo verla?
- No, déjala descansar, lo necesita, estará bien.
- Cuídala mamá, vendré mañana – le dijo y le dio un beso en la frente – gracias por todo.
- ¡Ay hijo! – suspiro la actriz cuando Terry se fue y se quedó sola, con un sentimiento de inquietud – Si tu supieras lo que pasó en la vida de Candy y cuán involucrado estás en ella…
* * *
Candy despertó sintiéndose confundida, desconoció de momento el lugar donde se encontraba, pero un olor inundó sus sentidos, era lavanda, la fragancia que siempre usaba Terry, observó el lugar, estaba decorado en forma masculina, entendió entonces que era la recamara de él, se dejó caer nuevamente en la mullida almohada al tiempo que sus cabellos se esparcían en ella, cerró nuevamente los ojos aspirando de nueva cuenta ese olor, tratando de guardar aquel aroma que tanto le hacía pensar en Terry, recordó sus besos y la sensación de tener sus labios en los suyos, aquellas caricias de sus manos que la hacían estremecer.
TOC, TOC, escuchó en la puerta, no sabía qué hacer, pero sus ojos se alegraron cuando vio entrar quien había tocado la puerta entraba.
- ¡Terry! – dijo Candy – _"precisamente estaba pensando en ti"_ – pensó ruborizándose.
- Hola pecosa – la saludó y se acercó a ella – veo que has asaltado con éxito mi cama.
- Yo…
- Sé que mi madre te pidió quedarte aquí… – le sonrió seductor – le pediré me diga cómo logró tan rápido hacer que entraras en ella.
- ¡Terry! – le dijo dando un leve manotazo en su hombro.
- Me encantas así como estás ahora, con tu cabello todo revuelto ¿así te ves todas las mañanas?
- No, a veces me veo peor – dijo ella coqueta.
- ¡Pecosa! En verdad me asombra cómo has cambiado – le dijo fingiendo reprobación – pero no importa, así me gustas también – le dijo y comenzó a besarla en los labios, Candy no puso objeción alguna y le correspondió, pareciera de nuevo que la pasión se estuviera comenzando a despertar, Candy estaba comenzando a desear cada vez más las caricias atrevidas de Terry, quien en ocasiones no se detenía, pero hacía un esfuerzo por no ir más allá, los besos comenzaron a subir de tono, evadiéndose de la realidad.
Por lo que no se dieron cuenta cuando la puerta se abría nuevamente, y alguien entraba.
- ¿Lo ven? ¡se los dije! – dijo una voz que los hizo separarse bruscamente – ¡Les dije que su padre estaba con otra mujer!
- ¡Susana! – dijo Terry y con culpabilidad volteó a ver quien estaba con ella, eran sus hijos quienes veían la escena con ojos de reprobación y condena, además de que, en la mirada de Kyle había dolor y desilusión, mientras que en los de Susana había triunfo, burla y… ¿satisfacción?
Continuará…
* * *
Hola nuevamente estoy aquí, brindando un capítulo más de este fic, ojala les haya gustado.
Quiero dar las gracias a todas aquellas amigas que me han estado escribiendo externando su opinión acerca del gusto de esta historia, me alegra recibir sus correos y comentarios.
Gracias
Lizette
13. Capitulo 13
**LA MENTIRA **
**CAPITULO XIII**
**"Enfrentamiento"**
* * *
- No es posible papá – dijo Dana sollozando
- Hija, todo tiene una explicación, si me dejaras…
- ¿Qué le vas a decir? – interrumpió Susana destilando veneno – ¿qué por esta mujer me has pedido el divorcio?
- ¡Eres una…! – dijo Terry cerrando sus manos en clara señal de impotencia.
Candy se levantó de la cama, se sentía realmente mal por lo que estaba ocurriendo, no sabía cómo actuar, le dolía ver aquella reprobación en los ojos de Kyle y de Dana hacia su padre, pero más le dolía la mirada que le daba Kyle, llena de dolor, pero sobre todo de desilusión, lo que inevitablemente hizo sangrar su corazón.
- Hijos – decía Terry – déjenme explicarles – rogaba él intentando acercarse.
- ¡No quiero verte más! ¡Te odio! – le gritó Dana antes de salir corriendo escaleras abajo.
- Eso es lo que querías ¿no?, deshacerte de nosotros, tu familia, pues bien, te felicito ¡lo has conseguido Terry! – dijo Susana burlona, para luego volverse y fingir llorar antes de salir de la habitación.
Candy estaba inmóvil, escuchar a Dana decir eso, no, no era posible que odiara a su padre, tenía qué hacer algo, pero no sabía que.
- ¡No papá! – Alzó la voz Kyle enfrentándose a él, cerrándole el paso e impidiéndole seguir a Dana – ahora entiendo el por qué de tu negativa a acercarme a ella, porque tu enojo cuando insinuaba siquiera la posibilidad de entrevistarme con ella, ¡la querías para ti! – estaba furioso, no medía las palabras.
- Kyle no sabes lo que dices – dijo Candy entonces y Kyle volteó a verla.
- ¡Cállese… señora! – le increpó el joven – Yo me había entusiasmado con usted, me comenzaba a enamorar de su ternura y jovialidad, pensé que era una buena mujer, pero veo que me equivoque – terminó con desprecio.
- ¡No la insultes Kyle! – la defendido Terry enojado.
- Kyle… – decía Candy sollozante negando con su cabeza – tu no sabes hijo…
- ¡No me diga hijo! – le gritó y Candy brincó – ¡La querías para ti! ¡sabías que yo sentía algo por ella y no te importó! – seguía gritándole a su padre.
- Hijo…– el actor trató de acercarse a él.
- ¡NO! ¡Déjame! – lo rechazó con un manotazo – jamás te lo perdonaré, claro, finalmente eres un buen actor, así que no te fue difícil envolverme con toda aquella palabrería falsa hacia nuestro origen… siempre lo hiciste pensando en ti, yo no te importaba, ni lo que sentía ni nada…
Todo se había salido de control, Candy estaba completamente desesperada, un nudo en la garganta le impedía hablar, sólo las lágrimas que emanaban de sus ojos sin control. Sin embargo, Kyle no había terminado de hablar…
- Sabes una cosa "_papá_"… después de todo, no es tan malo que no tengamos la misma sangre… así no tengo impedimento para decirte cuanto te odio y te desprecio…
- ¡Kyle! – dijo Terry con dolor, tambaleándose por la impresión de escuchar a su hijo proferir esas palabras.
- ¡NO Kyle, no digas eso! – pidió Candy llorando.
- Así es señor Granchester – tomando a Terry de las solapas siguió descargando su furia y decepción – es usted un hombre cobarde, capaz de los mas viles sentimientos de egoísmo.
- ¡Suéltame Kyle, te lo advierto!
Terry sentía que no aguantaría mucho tiempo aquella situación sin ponerse furioso, Candy no sabía qué hacer, lo conocía a la perfección y temía que su temperamento lo traicionara.
- ¿Me advierte? No tengo por qué obedecerlo, o es que acaso… ¿me va a obligar?
Terry entonces lo empujó y Kyle se golpeó en la pared, éste reaccionó y se fue sobre su padre para golpearlo, Terry y Kyle comenzaron a forcejear, mientras Candy usaba el ultimo vestigio de fuerzas que le quedaba y trataba por todas formas de calmarlos, pero era inútil, hasta la habitación llegó Eleanor atraída por los gritos, al ver que Kyle daba un primer golpe a Terry, corrió y gritó mientras se ponía frente a su nieto suplicante…
- ¡NO KYLE!, ¡EL ES TU PADRE!
- ¡No es así, no es mi padre! – refutó con ira el muchacho.
- ¡NO hijo! – lo miró con angustia – tu hermana y tu tienen su sangre… es realmente tu padre – dijo la actriz entre lágrimas.
Kyle miró confuso a su abuela, Terry no entendía nada, los dos se quedaron de una pieza al escuchar aquello, no entendían, ninguno de los dos alcanzaba a comprender aquella aseveración de ella, la miraron con interrogación, mientras Terry se limpiaba el hilillo de sangre que salía de su boca.
- ¿Qué has dicho? – preguntó Kyle agitado.
- Que… – Eleanor lo miraba con infinita ternura acortando la distancia y acariciando su mejilla – él es tu padre… la sangre que corre por tus venas, es la de él.
- ¡¿Qué?! –Terry seguía sin entender – Madre…
- La verdad… – habló Candy al fin, enfrentando la mirada de Terry con temor – Kyle es tu hijo… tu… realmente eres su padre, tiene tu sangre – apoyándose en una cómoda intentaba mantenerse en pie.
- Pero… ¿cómo? – preguntó Terry de nuevo, Kyle se había quedado callado, estaba confundido mirando el puño que había estampado en el rostro de Terry, el cual tenía pequeños restos de sangre de su padre.
- Lo sé… por que yo… ¡soy su madre! – completó Candy llorando.
* * *
Al salir de aquella casa, Susana esbozó una sonrisa llena de triunfo, había vencido a su enemiga de la forma más fácil, qué otra cosa podía dolerle más a Candy que el rechazo y odio de sus hijos, aunado al desprecio de Terry, sabía que Kyle no perdonaría el engaño y se desilusionaría de ella.
Había logrado como bono extra que los dos muchachos también despreciaran a Terry, sabía que no aceptarían escuchar las excusas que éste intentara darles, y Candy… la patética enfermera, no se atrevería a contarles nada sobre su vergonzosa estancia en un reclusorio, seguía disfrutando aquel triunfo mientras recordaba lo que les había dicho a los chicos en la mañana luego de que Terry se marchara.
- **_Hijos – llamó a los chicos a su habitación – necesito que escuchen algo que tengo que decirles – lloraba y se aferraba a las manos de ellos._**
- **_Mamita ¿te sientes bien? – decía Dana abrazándola con preocupación._**
- **_No, no me siento bien, estoy muy triste – fingiéndose llena de dolor evitaba mirarlos a los ojos._**
- **_¿Qué sucede madre? – preguntaba Kyle._**
- **_Su padre…_**
- **_¿Le pasó algo a papá? – preguntó Dana preocupada._**
- **_No, ojalá eso fuera… pero no… su padre… su padre, me ha pedido… ¡el divorcio! – dijo con dramatismo cubriéndose la cara y llorando con desconsuelo._**
- **_¡Cómo! – Dana no lo creía, Kyle se quedó callado._**
- **_¡Si! Se ha marchado de casa, nos abandona… ¡por otra mujer! – se abrazó a sí misma tratando ahora de contener el llanto._**
Lo demás fue sencillo, convencerlos de que fueran a ver a su abuela para pedirle su ayuda, aunque en realidad era para hacer más grande el problema, sin embargo, al llegar vio que el auto de Terry estaba ahí, se aventuró a preguntarle muy discretamente al mayordomo si la señora Eleanor tenía alguna visita, procurando que no se dieran cuenta los muchachos, éste le dijo que si, que una dama estaba de visita, no necesitó que le dijeran de quien se trataba, lo demás fue cuestión de pensar rápidamente, así que en ese momento ideó un plan que sabía sería la mejor manera de terminar con Candy de una vez por todas, obteniendo dos triunfos a la vez.
* * *
- ¿Qué has dicho Candy? – preguntó Terry a la rubia, quien estaba hecha un manojo de nervios.
La tensión comenzaba a inundar la habitación, los presentes no se atrevían a hablar por temor, aunque, las miradas de interrogación y confusión estaban dirigidas a ella, padre e hijo la miraban intentando aferrarse y creer a lo que momentos antes habían escuchado.
- La verdad hijo – habló Eleanor aligerando la tensión – la que siempre te ocultó Susana.
- No, yo… no entiendo – Terry meció sus cabellos, olvidándose por completo del dolor ocasionado por el golpe que le había propinado Kyle – ¿Candy? – se dirigió a ella con una mirada suplicante y de desconcierto
- Yo… – ella no sabía que decir, estaba nerviosa, temerosa, no sabía como enfrentar esto, todo se había presentado de forma inesperada.
Tres pares de ojos la miraban esperando respuesta, tras un breve momento, dio un gran suspiro, buscando fuerzas dentro de ella misma para hablar.
- Es verdad Terry, Kyle y Dana son tus hijos… nuestros hijos…
- Pero… no lo entiendo…
- Si – dijo Candy con renovadas fuerzas – y te lo puedo demostrar…
Candy salió de aquella habitación, seguida por Terry, Eleanor y Kyle, éste último se había quedado sin habla, había sido un gran shock enterarse de aquella manera que la mujer por la que había comenzado a tener un profundo sentimiento, resultara ser su madre.
* * *
Susana y Dana habían llegado a su casa, la chica subió corriendo a su cuarto, seguida por la mirada fría de quien se decía "su madre", adoptiva claro, ésta sonrió con burla al recordar todo lo que había ocurrido apenas unos momentos antes, le proporcionaba una gran alegría ver la forma en que lloraba Dana al descubrir a su padre de aquella manera con la mujer que quería destruir su hogar, así que de forma solicita y fingiendo una pena que estaba muy lejos de sentir, tocó la puerta del cuarto de Dana, entró sonriendo triunfal al ver que la chica estaba llorando con tanto dolor, como la actriz que había sido transformó su rostro en uno de completo dolor y sufrimiento, aparentando dar un apoyo que no sentía.
- Hija… – le llamó – ven cariño – decía al tiempo que se sentó en la cama de Dana.
- ¡Mamá! ¿Por qué? – la joven se estremecía presa del llanto.
- ¿Recuerdas que te había hablado de una mujer que hace tiempo salió con tu padre, y que por eso estuvimos a punto de no casarnos…?
- Si… – decía Dana.
- Ella era la mujer que se había interpuesto entre nosotros – fingió llorar también – te dije que ella pertenecía a la familia Andrey y que no deberías acercarte a ellos… pues es ella… – su voz ahora denotaba rencor – por ella tu padre nos quiere abandonar… lo quiere obligar a casarse con él… claro, como su familia es muy poderosa que cree poder tenerlo todo… por eso… quiere quitarme a tu padre – mentía como siempre, tratando de sonar convincente y la joven creyera todo.
- Yo no quiero que papá nos deje… – decía Dana llorando.
- No nos dejará hija, ya lo verás… – afirmó Susana con ojos brillantes – y tu, debes sentir odio hacia esa mujer… recuerda que es mala porque nos quiere quitar a tu padre…
- Si ¡la odio! – contestó la chica, al tiempo que intentaba dejar de llorar, Susana sonreía con maldad, lograr que Dana odiara a Candy sería sencillo, ¿qué mejor recompensa?
Ambas mujeres seguían inmersas en aquella conversación, dentro de la habitación, cuando escucharon el sonido de pasos apresurados que subían las escaleras, la mayor se levantó con dificultad de la cama y se quedó de pie en espera de la llegada de Kyle, quien suponía vendría desconsolado también, sin embargo, no fue así; era Terry quien entró, Susana le sostuvo la mirada mientras sonreía con triunfo e hizo un intento por hablar, pero la sonrisa se le borró cuando vio a Candy detrás de él.
- ¿Qué hacen aquí? – les espetó furiosa.
- Vine a que me expliques muchas cosas Susana – Terry la encaró, mientras la mirada de Candy destellaba fuego.
- ¡No tengo nada que decirte Terry! – contestó Susana.
- ¡Cómo te atreves a venir a reclamar algo papá! – intervino Dana levantándose y poniéndose delante de su madre para brindarle apoyo – ¡Y esta mujer! ¿qué es lo que viene a hacer aquí? – miró a Candy con odio y rencor– ¿acaso no está contenta con la destrucción de esta familia?
Terry se dio cuenta que aquel eso precisamente era el punto débil de Candy, no soportaba la reprobación y el rechazo que estaba teniendo por parte de su hija hacia ella, la pecosa pareció tambalearse.
- ¡Dana, guarda silencio! – le ordenó Terry.
- ¡No hagas caso hija! – gritó Susana ahora con desesperación – ¡recuerda que quiere quitarnos a tu padre!
- ¡Eso no es cierto Susana! – Candy intentó acercarse a Dana.
¡Grave error!, la joven al verla acercarse sintió arder su sangre, a su mente la imagen de aquella mujer besando a su padre llegó, las palabras de su madre llorando, era demasiado, así que sin poder evitarlo.
¡PLAFF!
Se escuchó un golpe que dejó callados a todos, Terry asombrado observó aquella dolorosa escena, sintiendo que su corazón sangraba al ver que el odio de Susana había germinado en el tierno corazón de su hija, no pudo evitar que la mano de Dana fuera a la mejilla de Candy.
Susana en tanto, veía con placer enfermo aquel arrebato de la joven, sintiendo que en su corazón no había cabida para tanto placer.
- ¡NOOO! – dijo Terry tomando a Dana de los hombros zarandeándola – Pero… ¿Qué has hecho? – le dijo a Dana
Candy se tocaba su mejilla que ardía por el golpe, pero su corazón le dolía más aún, miró a Dana con profundo dolor, no había atisbo de rencor, ni de sentimientos que condenaran la acción de aquella chica, simplemente había dolor, tristeza y lágrimas.
- ¡Lo que debí haber hecho desde antes! – Dana encaró a su padre con decisión – ¡Destruyó nuestra familia!
- Hija ¿qué has hecho? – Terry la tomó en sus brazos – Ella… ella es tu madre…
- ¡Qué!
La joven no supo entonces en donde se encontraba, las palabras dichas por su padre taladraron su cerebro y corazón, su rostro se contrajo por la sorpresa y el desconcierto, se soltó de los brazos de su padre, quien la tenía agarrada para que no escapara.
- Lo que escuchaste Dana, Candy… Es tu verdadera madre – repitió Terry con dulzura.
- No, no – repetía Dana moviendo su cabeza, miró con repugnancia su mano, la que había propinado el golpe a Candy y sus ojos comenzaron a llenarse de lágrimas – no, no puede ser, no es posible…
Observó a su padre y luego a Susana, quien miraba desafiante a todos.
- Dime que no es cierto, por favor… ¿verdad que tu eres mi madre? ¿Qué la mía nos abandonó sin importarle un poco el dejarnos desamparados?
Susana no contestó, seguía en aquella posición indolente, la joven buscó sus ojos sin éxito alguno y sintió que las fuerzas la abandonaban, no lo resistió, pasó a un lado de Terry, para salir corriendo de la habitación con los ojos anegados en llanto.
* * *
Dana corría escaleras abajo, vio que la puerta estaba abierta y se dirigió a ella para salir, quería escapar de todo aquello, negar lo que aparentemente no era un sueño, sus ojos estaban cegados por las lágrimas y no se percató de las personas que iban entrando.
- ¡Hija! – exclamó Eleanor con tristeza al encontrarla en ese estado, que sólo atinó a abrazarla.
- ¡Abuelita! – dijo en brazos de Eleanor – ¡dime que no es cierto!
- ¿Qué pasó cariño? –trataba de tranquilizarla, estaba llorando con mucho dolor.
- ¡Dime! ¿es verdad? – preguntaba llorosa – ¿es verdad que esa señora es mi madre?
- Hija… – Eleanor la miraba con ternura.
- ¡Dímelo abuelita! – le alzó la voz.
- Si, es verdad… – el que contestó fue Kyle con voz apagada
* * *
Continuaba la lucha en la habitación de Dana, la voz de Candy resonaba en cada rincón, fuerte y decidida, acercándose a aquella que tanto daño le ocasionara, había mantenido los ojos cerrados, le estaba costando demasiado aquel encuentro, pero no cedería ahora, cuando abrió sus ojos, lo único que le importaba era acabar con aquello.
- ¡Vamos Susana! ¡Responde de una vez! ¡Confiesa! ¡dile toda la verdad! ¡dile cómo me los arrebataste! ¡Dile cuántas mentiras tuviste que inventar para quitármelos! ¡Díselos Maldita sea!
Gritó empujando a Susana, quien cayó sobre la cama de Dana
- ¡Vamos dile! ¡Dile cómo mentiste delante de un jurado para que me condenaran a purgar una pena por un crimen que no cometí! ¡Dile cómo huiste con ellos! ¡Dile por qué le ocultaste a Terry que los pequeños eran sus hijos! ¡Dile cómo arruinaste nuestras vidas! ¡Anda! ¡Habla!
El silencio de Susana era desquiciante, Candy no aguantó más y le propinó una bofetada que hizo que reaccionara y la mirara con odio
- ¡Si, hice todo eso y hubiera hecho más si con ello te hubiera separado de una vez por todas de Terry! – gritó y siguió alzando la voz – ¡Por eso mentí en aquel Tribunal! ¡mentí para que de esa forma desaparecieras de mi vida! ¡le mentí a Terry para que no supiera de ti porque iría a buscarte para ayudarte! ¡le mentí para que no supiera que los niños eran tuyos y que también eran de él! ¡Sabía que me dejaría! Pensé que así no los querría tanto… ¡Pero no! Los quiso desde el primer momento y tuve que volver a compartir su atención.
Susana hablaba con todo su odio, contenido por tantos años, su centro de atención era Candy, quería ver sufrimiento en su interior al escuchar de ella el daño que había sido capaz de hacer por conseguir lo que quería. Sin que nadie se diera cuenta, en la puerta de la recamara estaban Kyle y Dana abrazado a Eleanor. Terry la miraba con asombro, enojó y rencor, Candy con dolor, pero ella siguió destilando todo ese veneno, con una mirada de odio a Terry.
- Les mentí igualmente a tus hijos, diciéndoles que su madre no los había querido, que los había abandonado en un orfanato, pero tuve que competir contigo una vez más – se volteó a Candy ahora – porque ellos eran parte de ti, tenían tu sangre… no soportaba tenerlos junto a mi, no soportaba su llanto, aún así tuve que aguantarme… fue así como Terry se mantuvo a mi lado… Todos estos años luchando por obtener un poco de cariño al menos ¡pero no!... Tuviste que aparecer una vez más, y no conforme con eso, volviste a entrometerte en nuestras vidas… te odio Candy, te odio… hubiera querido verte muerta, pensé que te quedarías encerrada en aquella maldita cárcel, pero no, la maldita suerte te sigue favoreciendo, tuviste que salir ¿para qué? Para volver a atormentar mi vida.
Conforme hablaba, sus ojos adoptaban un brillo maligno, sin duda, saboreaba aquel momento, como si toda la vida hubiera estado esperando para asestarle una puñalada directa en el corazón de Candy.
- ¿Nunca entendiste por qué nadie de tu familia te vino a ayudar? ¿Nunca te preguntaste que sucedió? Si habías mandado una carta a los Andrey para pedirles ayuda. ¡Tampoco fue difícil interceptarla y escribirte un buen mensaje para que de una vez te murieras de tristeza y de dolor! ¡Pero no!, ¡de nada sirvió! Tenías que haber salido para venir a quitarme nuevamente a Terry… para eso… te odio ¡Te odio!
- Te lo advertí – Candy le devolvía la mirada con el mismo odio – te dije que no dañaras a mis hijos…
- ¡Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja! – comenzó a reírse Susana – no sabes qué placer me da ver en lo que se han convertido, tu hijo, al que siempre aborrecí porque era el que se parecía más a ti, no sólo físicamente sino también en tu carácter, se fijó en su propia madre… y tu hija, a quien todavía toleré por el parecido que tiene con Terry, te odia y te desprecia… porque para ella has destruido su hogar ¿qué más puedo pedirle a la vida? – completó con sarcasmo y satisfacción – si ya me ha recompensado con ver lo que son ahora.
- Eres una enferma – dijo Candy – ¿qué clase de alma tienes? Eres despreciable
- ¿Despreciable? Ja, me dan lástima, jamás entenderé porque Terry te tuvo que amar a ti y no a mí, una maldita huérfana venida a más. Y qué decir de ti mi amor, mírate ¿acaso crees que Kyle y Dana se irán contigo sabiendo que su madre es una ex presidiaria? ¡Por Dios! ¡Una asesina! – su exagerado tono estaba consumiendo el último resquicio de paciencia de Terry – ¡Claro que no! Me creerán a mí, que los he criado y tenido durante toda su vida, porque los he tenido junto a mí desde que eran unos bebés… ¡ja, ja, ja! – volvió a reírse – ¡admítelo nunca te van a amar! ¿lo ves? ¡te gané esta vez!
Candy veía incrédula a Susana, a aquella mujer que con la mayor de las astucias había podido descomponer de forma vil y despiadada su vida, había confiado en ella, creyó absurdamente en el pasado que hubieran podido ser amigas… pero no era así… y ahora, su corazón se había desahogado ya, todo había terminado, la venganza que había pensado iba a poder terminar con Susana, no era la que esperaba, porque Susana dañó a sus hijos de una manera horrible, sin un ápice de arrepentimiento en su corazón, los lastimó, los hizo conocer de una manera cruel los sentimientos más oscuros, su hijo la despreciaba y su hija la odiaba.
Volteó al sentir el peso de otras miradas y se sorprendió al darse cuenta que además de Terry, sus hijos y Eleanor habían escuchado todo, buscó en los ojos de ellos tratando de encontrar algo, pero su hija, quien la miró un momento, desvió la mirada, buscó también la de su hijo, quien hizo lo mismo, pareciera que la juzgaban, que la rechazaban, que sentían una gran vergüenza… le parecía ver condena en los dos pares de ojos que no la miraban, sintió infinidad de sentimientos, quizás en su dolor comprendían las cosas de otra forma… Candy sintió como su corazón se rompía, no podía soportar más, no podía luchar más, no contra sus hijos, se dio vuelta con la firme intención de salir de ese lugar.
- ¡Candy! – Terry la sujetó con firmeza.
- ¡Déjame Terry! – Candy trataba de zafarse de la mano que la tenía sujeta.
- ¡No Candy! No puedes irte… – le pidió mirándola a los ojos, le impresionó ver en aquellos verdes ojos amados un dolor tan grande.
Pareció pasar mucho tiempo mientras Candy y Terry fundían sus miradas, miles de emociones pasaron por la mente de la rubia, recordó toda la infelicidad e incertidumbre vividas en el pasado ¿y todo por qué? Gracias a una persona, en un instante parecía que volvía a vivir en aquella oscura y fría celda, todo el rechazo que tuvo por la comunidad de aquella pequeña ciudad al creerla una asesina, como tuvo que volver a levantarse nuevamente, luchar por conseguir un poco de respeto, darse a querer nuevamente, sobre todo por las internas de aquella cárcel femenil.
Sus pensamientos se cortaron en ese momento, al ver a Terry se dio cuenta que éste necesitaba escuchar de sus propios labios toda la verdad, no quería convertirse en la mala siendo ella la victima, así que con todo el coraje que siempre la caracterizó, su mirada de tristeza dio paso a una de determinación, alzó la cabeza, miró retadoramente a Susana y se soltó de Terry.
Repasó con la vista los rasgos de Terry y comenzó a hablar con firmeza.
- Tienes razón, no puedo irme sin antes desahogar todo lo que traigo guardado… – se volvió a Susana, quien a pesar de todo retrocedió un paso, Candy le sonrió con burla y se volvió sobre sus pasos – ahora sé que cometí un error muy grande al haberme hecho a un lado cuando me pediste que dejara a Terry la primera vez – habló con amargura – ¡fui una estúpida! pero seguí creyendo en que lo harías feliz… luché contra mi misma cuando lo tuve que abandonar por segunda vez y partir a Francia después…
Sus ojos se entornaron al tiempo que se sumergía en el pasado.
"…estaba triste por haber renunciado a él por segunda vez, por haber renunciado al amor… pero después no me importó… – sonrió – descubrí que estaba esperando un hijo de él – sonreía con felicidad al recordar el momento – era lo más hermoso que me había regalado la vida… el fruto de un amor tan bello… así que no me importó cuando incluso me obligaron a abandonar mi puesto como enfermera militar, enviándome a un pequeño puerto al norte de Inglaterra, Liverpool, la gente me vio al principio mal por ser una mujer sola y además embarazada, no tuve necesidad de mentir, todo el mundo daba por hecho que al yo venir de Francia, cerca de la guerra, era viuda… – sonrió – cuando nacieron mis dos pequeños fui la mujer más feliz del mundo, mirar sus caritas, observar como iban creciendo – en su mirada se pintó un brillo de amor – conocer cuán diferentes eran… ¡era una gran felicidad! – su rostro cambió y dio paso a una tristeza – pero apareciste – miró a Susana con enojo – con una actitud de amabilidad, cortesía… te ofrecí mi amistad a pesar de todo y cómo me pagaste… haciéndome el más horrible de los daños… preparaste todo de una manera tan cruel… aquel hombre no tenía la culpa de nada… no merecía morir – le dijo a Susana – además ¿por qué ensañarte así conmigo? Yo no me iba a aparecer ante Terry, yo no podía hacerlo… pero no… me quitaste el amor y no conforme con eso… también me arrebataste el fruto de ese amor… ¿por qué? Yo aún no entiendo… te salvé aquella noche de morir… abandoné con todo el dolor de mi alma a Terry… ¿y qué recibí de ti? – la miró con rencor, en los verdes ojos de Candy había señales de lágrimas, parecía que no soportaría más y se derrumbaría –… odio, mucho odio… y sabes – le dijo con amargura – no lo merecía…"
Finalizó Candy, dando la espalda a Susana quien estaba mirando a todos, sintiendo a su vez sobre sí la mirada de los presentes en la habitación, Candy comenzó a caminar rumbo a la puerta y al pasar junto a Terry le dijo:
- Debí haber sido sincera contigo desde un principio… espero que puedas perdonarme - Terry la miró sin decir nada, estaba muy confundido.
Candy siguió su camino hasta llegar a la puerta, ahí estaban Kyle y Dana junto a Eleanor.
- ¿Estás bien querida? – preguntó solícita Eleanor.
- Si… salgo con la frente en alto porque sé que no hice nada malo de lo que me pueda avergonzar… lo único que siento es no haber tenido la oportunidad de estar con ustedes… – contestó con una sonrisa triste, miró a sus hijos y les dijo mirándolos con amor – pero deberán saber que siempre… siempre los he amado… son mi vida…
Comenzó a bajar con lentitud la escalera, Kyle y Dana miraron la figura de aquella mujer que caminaba con dignidad, admiraron la fortaleza con que se estaba conduciendo.
Mientras en la habitación, Terry se había desplomado en un sillón, sus codos descansaban en sus rodillas, su mirada estaba reflejando toda la confusión que sentía en esos momentos, pareciera que no creyera o no entendía que sucedía.
Un silencio tan tenso se dejaba sentir, aún se podía percibir el aroma que había dejado Candy al salir, lo que hizo que Terry reaccionara.
- ¿Por qué Susana? – preguntó Terry – ¿Por qué te has ensañado así? ¿Por qué nos has hecho todo esto?
- ¿Por qué me preguntas? ¡Te amo Terry! ¡te amo con toda el alma!
- ¿Amarme? ¿Crees tú que esa era la manera?
- ¿Qué querías que hiciera? Toda la vida has estado pendiente de ella… – contestó con enojo.
- Pero… ¿por qué mentirme? ¿por qué ocultar que eran mis hijos? – dijo Terry con su voz matizada de dolor.
- Porque hubieras preguntado por ella… me hubieras hecho demasiadas preguntas y te hubieras ido tras ella…
- Fui un estúpido… – volteó a mirar a la puerta donde estaban presentes sus dos hijos, en los ojos de éstos había confusión, demasiadas emociones – un estúpido por haber permitido que mi vida tomara un rumbo diferente… fui un estúpido por no darme cuenta de lo que estaba frente a mi… – miró con dolor a sus hijos y se acercó a ellos – mi pequeña princesa – tocó la mejilla de Dana – no darme cuenta del parecido… mi hijo… mi "pequeño duende" – hacia muchos años que no lo llamaba así – tan parecido a tu madre, esos ojos… no me había dado cuenta… o quizá, no quise darme cuenta.
Se volvió hacia Susana, de sus ojos se desprendía furia y dolor mezclados, haciendo que ésta sintiera como si una mano fría aprisionara su pecho. El actor arremetió de nuevo y liberó parte de ese dolor.
- Pasé contigo toda una vida, agradeciéndote lo que hiciste por mí ¿y qué recibí? Una vida construida sobre una Mentira… mi vida… la de mis hijos… Fueron construidas en algo falso y ahora se ha derrumbado…
- Terry… – levantó una mano como si pidiera clemencia – lo hice por ti… por nosotros…
- ¡MENTIRA! – alzó la voz con furia y Susana dio un paso más hacia atrás temerosa – ¡Todo ha sido una Mentira! ¡Nunca ha habido un "nosotros"! ¡siempre has sido tú! ¡tu maldito egoísmo de ser primero tú antes que nadie! ¿Y mis hijos? ¿y yo? ¿acaso te hemos importado? ¿acaso te importó lo que sentían mis hijos? – hizo una pausa como si estuviera esperando su respuesta – No… no te importaron nunca…
- Si tan sólo me hubieras amado, nada de esto hubiera ocurrido…– dijo con voz llorosa.
- ¡Eres…! – dijo con impotencia y salió del cuarto
Terry se dirigió a su recamara, sacó una maleta y comenzó a echar su ropa sin mirar como se acomodaba ésta, Susana lo había seguido y se quedó fría al mirar lo que hacía.
- ¿Qué estás haciendo? – preguntó Susana y cerró la puerta tras ella.
- ¿Tú qué crees? – contestó con ironía sin voltearla a mirar mientras seguía llenando la maleta con sus pertenencias.
- ¡No puedes dejarme! – Terry no contestó – ¡No puedes hacerme esto! – se acercó a él poniéndose entre él y la cama que era donde estaba su maleta – no lo permitiré…
- ¿Crees poder hacer que me quede a tu lado? – le preguntó pronunciando lentamente las palabras mirándola con los ojos entornados.
- ¡No puedes abandonarme!
- ¡Cómo te atreves!, Después de todo lo que has hecho, después del daño que has causado a MÍ FAMILIA.
Terry la veía incrédulo, si alguna vez había creído conocer la maldad encarnada en el cuerpo de cierta pelirroja, ahora la mujer que tenía frente a él, superaba y con creces todo eso, rebasando los límites y lastimando lo que él más amaba, sus hijos y Candy.
- ¡Claro que puedo hacerlo! – dijo empujándola y ésta cayó a un lado y continuó con su tarea de empacar.
- ¡NOO! ¡te lo ruego, no me dejes! – dijo llorando y se abrazó a él de una pierna.
- ¡Suéltame! – le gritó – Eres tan patética que hasta la dignidad has perdido.
- ¡NOOO! – contestó necia – ¡no dejaré que te vayas con ella!
- ¡Escúchame bien! – sin poder contener más su furia, la tomó de los brazos haciendo que ésta lo soltara, la miró a los ojos con un total y profundo desprecio, mientras que en los de Susana había abandono y dolor – ¡Me divorciaré de ti y sólo muerto lograrás alejarme de Candy! – y finalmente la soltó.
Susana se quedó paralizada sin dar crédito a lo que Terry le había dicho, no era posible que ella hubiera ganado, no era posible que Terry la abandonara, su mente era un profundo caos en el cual no podía encontrar un camino, una solución.
Terry no habló mientras cerraba su maleta, al fin había terminado de empacar lo más esencial, de cualquier forma no había mucho en aquel lugar, todo lo mantenía en su pequeño departamento.
- Terry… – Susana lo llamó al verlo encaminarse a la puerta, pero éste no le hizo caso - ¡TERRYYYY! – gritó y vio cómo él salía de la habitación sin voltear la mirada.
Terry vio al salir de la habitación que en el pasillo estaban sus hijos, mirándolo con interrogación.
- Papá… – dijo Dana con un susurro
- Lo siento cariño – contestó Terry – pero… no puedo quedarme… – mientras de la recamara de éste se escuchaba la voz de Susana llamándolo – estaré en el departamento donde me quedo cuando estudio…
- Está bien papá – habló Kyle entonces – comprenderás que es muy difícil que nosotros permanezcamos aquí…
- Lo sé… madre – se dirigió a Eleanor.
- No te preocupes hijo, yo los cuidaré.
Sin decir palabras, los dos chicos lo abrazaron, para luego verlo irse de aquella casa, dejando detrás de él un viento frío que entraba de la puerta, se volvieron a escuchar los gritos de Susana que llamaba a Terry, entonces Kyle y Dana se miraron, en los ojos de aquellos muchachos había un total entendimiento, se dice que entre gemelos existe un lazo invisible difícil de entender, se encaminaron a la recamara de su padre, Eleanor detrás de ellos sin poder imaginar que harían, el cuadro que encontraron en la recamara de su padre era patético, Susana estaba tirada en la alfombra, mientras abrazaba con enfermizo dolor una camisa de Terry.
- Abuela – dijo Kyle – déjanos solos – le pidió.
- ¿Estás seguro hijo? – preguntó Eleanor
- Muy seguros Abuelita – contestó Dana a su vez mirando a su hermano.
- De acuerdo hijos – sonrió – no tarden – y salió cerrando tras ella la puerta.
- Creo que tenemos algo de qué hablar – dijo Kyle mirando a Susana con el ceño fruncido.
- Hijos ¿acaso creyeron todo lo que dijo esa mujer? – les preguntó mirándolos a los dos, mientras se levantaba con trabajos sin recibir ayuda de los chicos.
- No lo sé, dinos tú – contestó Dana con el ceño fruncido – ¿qué es lo que debemos creer?
- Ella está loca, no creerán que yo no los amaba ¿verdad? – decía Susana con desesperación al ver aquella mirada de condena en los ojos de los dos chicos – hija, yo los quiero mucho.
- Sabes… madre… – contestó Dana levantando su mano dándole a entender a su hermano que ella hablaría, su hermano sonrió de medio lado con burla mirando a Susana – si es que puedo seguir soportando el llamarte así – continuó Dana – nos bastó entender en unos cuantos minutos lo que tu en muchos años en realidad has sentido por nosotros… lo que siempre supimos y nos negábamos aceptar por "agradecimiento", que tu en realidad nunca nos has querido – aceptó con ironía pero también con dolor, finalmente, era la figura que habían conocido como madre, realmente tenía mucho de Terry en su sangre, Kyle miraba sonriendo con cinismo y burla aquello – ahora entiendo todos los desprecios que siempre tenías con nosotros, sobre todo con mi hermano ¿cómo pudiste tratarnos así? ¿y yo? Mendigaba tu cariño, siempre sintiéndome mal por ser una hija adoptada, como siempre lo repetías…
- Hija yo… – decía Susana.
- ¡No! – la calló Dana y Susana vio en sus ojos desprecio – ahora entiendo porque nos envenenabas el alma, hablando mal de la familia Andrey, diciendo que una mala mujer de esa familia había tratado de separar a papá de ti… y mira ¿quién fue la que se interpuso entre ellos? ¡qué lástima me das! – dijo ahora con lágrimas en los ojos – porque a pesar de todos tus desprecios, había logrado sentir un cariño genuino hacia ti, porque eras, como siempre lo creímos nuestra mamá… sin saber lo que habías hecho… – se le quebró la voz.
- Creo que no hay más que decir – habló por fin Kyle, abrazó a su hermana, quien lo recibió – nos vamos.
- ¡No! – dijo con temor Susana – ustedes no pueden irse, no pueden dejarme, son mis hijos ante la ley.
- Ya no señora… – dijo Kyle – ya no lo somos, tenemos una madre y un padre, no como usted siempre repetía que éramos "unos pobres huérfanos a quien por caridad recogió", tenemos un padre y una madre que nos recibirán con los brazos abiertos, una madre que nos dará el amor y cariño que usted siempre nos negó… vamos hermana – dijo abrazando a Dana quien lloraba también abrazada a él.
- ¡Nooo! – gritaba Susana al verlos salir de la recamara y como pudo tomó su bastón y comenzó a caminar detrás de ellos, quienes no voltearon a mirarla, abrieron la puerta y salieron únicamente con lo que traían puesto, dejando entrar el viento frío – ¡NOOO! – gritó Susana y en su carrera no se dio cuenta por donde caminaba y tropezó, cayendo por las escaleras, dándose varios golpes, quedando aún consciente, trató de moverse – ¡Ah, no puedo! No siento mis piernas, me duele mucho mi cadera… – dijo y sintió un gran dolor en su cadera… no podía moverse, no sentía sus piernas – ¡NOO! ¡ayúdenme! ¡TERRYYY!
Gritaba presa del dolor corporal, sin embargo, sólo el silencio le respondió…
**Continuará…**
* * *
**Agradezco de todo corazón los mails que tan amablemente me han enviado, espero seguir contando con su atención, a todas aquellas amigas, les debo tanto sus ánimos y comentarios. Gracias**
14. Capitulo 14
**LA MENTIRA**
**CAP. XIV**
**"Cicatrizando heridas"**
El gran padre árbol seguía ahí, siempre listo a dar cobijo a quienes a él acudían, fortaleciendo las almas de aquellos que llegaban llorosos a buscar consuelo, también para brindar sombra a quienes exhaustos llegaban tras subir la empinada colina. Hoy no podía ser la excepción, celador inquebrantable de todos los secretos que le confiaban, con sus ramas extendidas daba ánimo a aquella que siempre subía hasta lo más alto para abrir su corazón. Aunque hoy, no estaba sola.
- ¿Estás segura de lo que harás pequeña? – le dijo Albert
- Completamente segura… - contestó Candy
- Pero…
- Shh – lo interrumpió poniendo una mano en la boca de Albert para acallarlo – quiero decirte esto, no sé cuánto tiempo estaré lejos, pero será el suficiente para poder recuperarme… - Albert hizo caso a su petición y callado siguió escuchando lo que ella decía - Todos esos años que pasé en… prisión – le costaba decir esa palabra - te culpé por no haberme ayudado… te culpé siempre por haberme dado la espalda… ya que si lo hubieras hecho… yo no hubiera perdido a mis hijos…
- Candy… - iba a decir Albert
- No, déjame hablar por favor – le pidió alzando su mano – cuando me enfrenté aquella noche a Susana… me dijo que la carta que yo había enviado la habían interceptado, creo que había sobornado a alguien ahí dentro… y ella misma fue quien mandó la contestación… - decía triste – con el propósito de que yo no me sintiera con fuerzas ni esperanzas para salir de ahí…
- Mi pequeña Candy… - dijo con ternura Albert y la abrazó – no te preocupes, no te sientas mal
- ¡Es que yo te culpe! ¡incluso te odié por haberme abandonado!
- Jamás ¡escúchame bien! – la separó de él y tomó su rostro entre sus manos y con sus pulgares limpió las lagrimas que salían - ¡Jamás te hubiera dado la espalda! ¡Nunca te hubiera abandonado! Y créeme que si yo hubiera tenido en mis manos aquella carta, inmediatamente, hubiera ido a ayudarte y jamás hubiera permitido que pasaras tantos tragos amargos en aquel lugar – volvió a abrazarla, ella volvió a llorar.
- Lo sé Albert, es por eso que quiero pedirte perdón – le dijo.
- No te lastimes más, no hay nada que perdonar – se separaron un poco, ella se limpió las lagrimas y sonrió - ¡Eso es! Sonríe, recuerda que eres mucho más bonita cuando sonríes que cuando lloras.
- Gracias Albert, siempre has sido para mi como este árbol, fuerte, de píe, escuchando y consolándome de todas mis tristezas – se acercó a él y lo abrazó con cariño…
- Oh Candy, te voy a extrañar tanto – con voz quebrada por la emoción la abrazaba
- Volveré cuando sea el momento – se separó un momento de él y lo miró a los ojos, levantó una mano para acariciar la mejilla de Albert – necesito alejarme, tranquilizarme por todo…
- Espera un poco… - le pidió – sé que tus…
- Shhh – volvió a callarlo – no – dijo suavemente mientras en sus ojos brillaban una estela de lágrimas las cuales impidió salir – ellos necesitan pensar, darse cuenta de lo que ha sucedido, asimilarlo… cuando lo hagan, los estaré esperando…
- ¿Y Terry? – Albert preguntó y Candy volteó sus ojos para que éste no viera la tristeza
- Siempre lo amaré…
Se quedaron un rato más en silencio, observando el horizonte, poco después descendieron para abordar un auto, mismo que los llevaría hasta la estación de trenes, de nueva cuenta partía del Hogar de Pony, a donde siempre había regresado cuando finalizaba un etapa en su vida, a través del cristal observaba mientras se despedía mentalmente.
- Nunca olvides que siempre estaré contigo, donde estés, no importa el momento ni el lugar, si me necesitas, llámame.
- Lo tengo presente, despídeme de Patty, escribiré en cuanto me sea posible
Se fundieron en un abrazo fraternal al tiempo que se escuchaba la llamada para abordar, ella subió y se quedo en la baranda mientras el tren empezaba su marcha, pronto aceleró y entonces ella decidió entrar, Albert en tanto, esperó hasta que el tren desapareció de su vista, en sus azules ojos había tristeza por no haber podido ayudar más a Candy, y ahora ella emprendía un largo viaje para encontrar consuelo a su dolorida alma.
* * *
Varios días antes…
_Candy llegó a su departamento después de algunas horas, había estado caminando desde que salió de casa de Terry, necesitaba despejar un poco su mente, aunque su ceño fruncido decía lo contrario, estaba tensa, tenía varios sentimientos que no podía controlar, cuando abrió la puerta, la mucama estaba ya haciendo sus deberes._
- _Buenas tardes señora – la saludó, tomando de sus manos el abrigo y su bolso- la está esperando una persona._
- _Discúlpame, ahora no deseo ver a nadie – respondió desanimada._
- _¿Ni siquiera a mí? – preguntó una voz conocida._
- _Archie – musito mirándolo sin saber qué hacer, en su rostro se reflejaron miles de sentimientos, sin decir palabra se abalanzó a él, lo abrazó y sin poder evitarlo comenzó a llorar._
- _¡Candy! ¿por qué lloras? Estoy de acuerdo que te da gusto verme… pero no debes llorar._
- _Yo…. Lo siento… pero… - no podía controlar su llanto – Archie… yo…_
- _Shh, tranquila Candy – dijo Archie hablándole con suavidad mientras la abrazaba con fuerza, sentía como ella se estremecía por el llanto – todo está bien, tranquila – le acariciaba su cabello_
_Archie sintió que su corazón se estrujaba al verla en ese estado, pero la conocía, la conocía tan bien, que sólo la abrazó, acunándola como si fuera una niña, en sus brazos, Candy lloró, lloró hasta que las lágrimas parecían haberse agotado, Archie respetó su silencio, no hizo ninguna pregunta, esperó._
* * *
_Eleanor, Dana y Kyle arribaron a la mansión de la actriz, quien abrazaba a su nieta por los hombros, los chicos iban sumamente tristes, lo que acababan de pasar había sido un gran golpe, darse cuenta en unos cuantos minutos que todo lo que ellos habían creído tener, se había derrumbado, todos estos años habían sido una mentira, realmente se sentían confundidos._
- _Vamos cariño, descansa un poco – dijo Eleanor a su nieta cuando entraron en la recámara que siempre usaba la joven al pasar temporadas._
- _No lo sé abuelita – desganada respondía._
- _Sé que estás confundida hija… _
- _Sabes abuelita… - dijo después de una pausa - ¿qué es lo mejor de todo esto?_
- _¿qué cariño? – preguntó con dulzura mientras acariciaba los oscuros cabellos de su nieta_
- _que después de todo… realmente si soy tu nieta _
- _Siempre lo fuiste amor, siempre los he considerado así, a ti y a tu hermano, nos robaron el corazón cuando llegaron… eran tan bellos ¡tan pequeños!, tu padre se puso loco de felicidad por tenerlos, incluso, se las ingeniaba para llevarlos al teatro, los mostraba con orgullo, jamás se avergonzó de ustedes, al contrario, los amó desde el primer momento, desde entonces han sido todo para él… hija…_
_Dana la escuchaba con atención, Eleanor la miró y vio que la joven tenía lágrimas en los ojos, miraba su mano con dolor, aquella con la que había abofeteado a Candy._
- _Abuela ¿crees… crees que… ella me perdone por haberla…? – preguntó con titubeo_
- _Ella los ama con todo su corazón…- la interrumpió Eleanor y la abrazó._
_La joven siempre había amado y respetado a su abuela, pero ahora, se convertía en algo más, en su refugio, donde quería ahogar toda la tristeza que albergaba ahora su joven alma._
* * *
_Los verdes ojos de Kyle reflejaban una gran pesadez, se sentía completamente desorientado, los sentimientos que había empezado a experimentar por una mujer de rizos rubios y ojos verdes como los de él, lo llenaban de confusiones, por una parte se había sentido atraído por ella como mujer, la cual, además, le parecía la mujer más hermosa que había conocido, poseedora de sentimientos dignos de admirarse, se había sentido tan contento, tan lleno con ella, estar a su lado, aspirar su aroma, era algo sin igual… podía entender por qué su padre estaba perdidamente enamorado aún de ella… él incluso podría haberla amado de la misma forma… pero… descubrir que era su madre… que todos esos años ella siempre había existido y que la adversidad los había separado de una manera tan cruel… quería verla, verla nuevamente, estar a su lado… _
_Ahora entendía tantas cosas, el por qué se sentía tan bien cuando estaba a su lado, en su corazón sentía siempre un calor muy bello, entonces a su mente vino uno de los sueños que casi siempre tenía, y era el de la figura de una mujer que le hablaba dulcemente y con amor, nunca podía ver la cara de esa mujer, pero siempre recordaba su aroma y el calor de los besos que le daba, los cuales eran como los que llegó a recibir de Candy…_
* * *
- _Si… si… - decía Archie mientras hablaba por teléfono – ya está bien, me quedaré para cuidarla_
- _Archie – era Albert al otro lado del teléfono – cuídala, no la dejes sola, en su condición no sabemos si pudiera enfermar… _
- _No, no te preocupes, por el momento está dormida, insistí en que descansara, pero sabes, quisiera en estos momentos…_
- _No Archie – contestaba Albert – no hagas una tontería, creo que debemos esperar a que Terry y los chicos comprendan lo sucedido, más bien que lo asimilen_
- _Si, entiendo lo que me dices, pero… ella no merece sufrir más_
- _Lo sé, pero debemos esperar también a que Candy descanse, fueron muchas emociones para un día…_
- _De acuerdo – dijo a regañadientes_
- _Cuídala, comunícate por cualquier cosa – le pidió Albert_
- _Está bien… _
_Después de hablar un momento con Albert y colgar el teléfono, se dirigió a la recamara de Candy y desde la puerta la observó dormir, después de llorar y contarle lo que había sucedido aquella mañana, estaba exhausta por todo, así que él la acompañó sentado en un sillón junto a la cama, hasta que ésta se durmió._
_Después, con el ceño fruncido y vaso de whiskey en mano, se acercó a la terraza y vio como iba cayendo la tarde, en la ciudad comenzaban a encenderse las luces de las calles, observó el ir y venir de los autos y las personas, su mente comenzó a regresar en el tiempo, justo cuando conoció a Candy, era una pequeña, volvió a vivir lo que sintió cuando ella le entregó su aún infantil corazón a Anthony y después cuando volvió a entregar su corazón a Terry, y como con todo el dolor de su corazón tuvo que tratar y comenzar a olvidarla, aunque no fue fácil hacerlo, aún después de haberse enamorado de Annie, sabía aún, que en el fondo de su corazón, Candy seguía ahí, inamovible._
* * *
Eleanor Backer junto a los gemelos compartían la mesa en el desayuno, habían pasado varios días desde que se enteraron de la verdad, tanto Kyle como Dana estaban solo picando la comida, el chico parecía estar ausente y en la joven se notaba una gran palidez, quizás porque no había dormido bien.
Después de no haber almorzado casi nada, los chicos junto con su abuela salían del comedor, en ese momento iba llegando Terry. Los chicos se detuvieron y Dana corrió a abrazar a su padre, quien la recibió cariñoso, pero Kyle no se acercó.
Los azules ojos vieron con tristeza la actitud de su hijo, trataría de hablar con él más tarde, necesitaban hacerlo, después de saludar a su madre, entraron juntos a la salita,
- Señora – dijo con voz suave el mayordomo – hay una persona que pregunta por el señor Terrence
- ¿Ha dicho quién es? – contestó Eleanor
- Si, dice llamarse Archibald Cornwell…
- Archie… - dijo Terry – dígale que pase – le indicó al mayordomo, su madre lo miró con extrañeza, ya que el rostro de Terry había cambiado y tenía fruncido el ceño
La figura del mayordomo desapareció para dar paso a la persona de Archie, quien elegantemente vestido como siempre, entraba con la mirada un tanto desafiante dirigiéndose a Terry, éste a su vez lo miró de igual forma.
- Cornwell… tanto tiempo… - dijo Terry sin moverse, su voz estaba carente de emoción
- Terrence Granchester… no has cambiado nada – no solo se refería a lo físico Archie
- Señora Backer – dijo galantemente acercándose a Eleanor y besó su mano – a sus pies, mi nombre es Archibald Cornwell Andrey, soy un gran admirador suyo…
Cuando los chicos escucharon la palabra "Andrey" se pusieron alertas.
- Tanto gusto señor Cornwell ¿a qué debemos el honor? – preguntó al mismo tiempo que lo invitaba a tomar asiento
- He venido a hablar con Terrence – declinó la invitación a sentarse, se quedó parado un poco cerca de Terry, los chicos se pusieron más atentos – así como con sus… hijos
- ¿Crees que será prudente? – preguntó con voz dura Terry, pero Archie había volteado la mirada y se encontró con los dos chicos
- Hijos – dijo Eleanor acercándose a los chicos – vamos, dejemos hablar a su padre con el señor…
- Creo que tus hijos deben estar presentes – habló Archie – a ellos también les atañe lo ocurrido
- No creo… - comenzaba a decir Terry
- ¿No crees que deberían saber como se encuentra su madre? – lo interrumpió Archie, un silencio siguió a la pregunta, haciendo un ambiente tan tenso que parecía poder ser cortado con unas tijeras – parece que no quieren darse cuenta de lo que ella está sufriendo…
Kyle y Dana miraban a Archie con el ceño fruncido, Eleanor se volvió a sentar, Terry estaba empuñando las manos como si tratara de contener el tomar a Archie para golpearlo.
- Ninguno de ustedes parece estar consciente del daño que le han hecho a Candy… sobre todo tu Terry – lo miró a los ojos - ¡tú que decías amarla! Y estar preocupado por ella, todavía te recuerdo aquel día cuando creí que estaba haciendo un sacrificio, cuando Candy me pidió estar al lado de Annie… me aparté para que tu estuvieras cerca de ella… creí que la amabas lo suficiente para hacerla feliz… - los chicos escucharon sorprendidos aquella confesión – además, me sentí desdichado al darme cuenta que ella… que ella te amaba a ti… no podía creer que durante tanto tiempo había estado esperando a que su corazón sanara ¿para qué? Para que tu entraras en él… yo la amé desde el primer momento en que la conocí… gustoso hubiera dado todo por evitarle tantos sufrimientos, porque eso es lo único que tu le has dado… yo la hubiera amado, hubiera puesto el mundo a sus pies… ¿y tú qué hiciste?, primero la abandonaste a su suerte en el colegio… después la abandonaste por quedarte a cumplir un deber ¡UN DEBER! Cuando el único deber que tenías, era con ella…
Terry no hablaba, sus manos estaban empuñadas aún, sus nudillos se veían blancos por el esfuerzo que estaba haciendo, en sus ojos cada vez se veía crecer la furia que estaba sintiendo por las palabras que estaba diciendo Archie, los chicos escuchaban todo aquello y se sorprendían cada vez más, Dana comenzaba a cambiar su semblante y Kyle también parecía sentir desolación, solamente Eleanor parecía entender todo lo que estaba sintiendo en esos momentos el joven Andrey
- ¡Todos estos años! ¿te preocupó saber donde estaba? ¡NO! No te preocupó… ella había desaparecido, nosotros no sabíamos nada, incluso ni del nacimiento de sus hijos, nos hemos enterado apenas… - continuó Archie después de una pausa – nosotros hicimos lo imposible por buscar un rastro de ella… ¿y tú qué hiciste? Alimentar un rencor hacia ella, siempre fuiste un egoísta Granchester, no te mereces que Candy te ame… no te mereces ni una lágrima de ella… no mereces que te haya dado ese regalo que tienes a tu lado… - señaló con un ademán a los chicos - mientras ella está sola… sufre ¿me escuchas, me escuchan? – se volvió hacia Dana y Kyle – Candy es la mejor mujer del mundo… ella gustosa hubiera dado su vida por ustedes – les dijo con suavidad y se volvió a Terry – incluso por ti, hubiera dado la vida si se la hubieras pedido… - Archie estaba completamente emocionado en los marrones ojos de éste brillaban lágrimas que trataba de contener - ¿qué haces? ¿qué hicieron con ella? En vez de estar a su lado, comprendiendo todo lo que sucedió, todo lo que sufrió en aquella celda… ¿qué hacen? ¿Aún están tratando de entender lo que ella dijo? ¿Aún no comprenden lo que ella está sufriendo ahora? ¿o acaso la culpan de algo? ¡Diablos Granchester! Te creí mejor tipo… no mereces su amor… - lo miró y Terry miraba hacia un punto con el ceño fruncido - y ustedes – se acercó a Dana y Kyle – son afortunados por tener como madre a una mujer como Candy…
Un silencio acompañó las últimas palabras de Archie, quien estaba tan emocionado que dejó escapar una lagrima sin vergüenza alguna, que rodó por su mejilla, Dana estaba a punto del llanto, Kyle miraba al suelo y Terry estaba aún parado sin moverse desde que Archie comenzó a hablar, a espaldas de Terry estaba sentada Eleanor, quien lloraba en silencio.
- Señora Backer – se acercó Archie a ella – perdón por esta escena… no puedo soportar ver sufrir a Candy… ella es para mí alguien muy especial… la amo como a una hermana, ella, me enseñó la grandeza de amar, ella… es única… - dio un profundo suspiro – Adiós señora Backer… perdón por el arrebato…
Archie salió de la habitación sin despedirse de más nadie… dejando detrás de él un remolino de sentimientos.
El silencio que siguió a su partida era tan grande, tan vacío, como el que tres corazones experimentaban, los minutos transcurrían, hasta que una voz irrumpió de pronto.
- Sabes papá – habló Dana finalmente – tiene razón
- ¿cómo dices? – contestó Terry sin dar crédito a lo que oía
- Que ese señor… Cornwell… Andrey o como se llame, tiene razón… - Terry no contestó, miró a su hija – lo he estado pensando también ¿qué hemos hecho por ella?
- Culparla – se escuchó la voz de Kyle, tres pares de ojos se volvieron a mirarlo – culparla – repitió – eso, eso hemos hecho, le hemos echado la culpa de la caída de esta familia… mientras nos escondemos para lamernos las heridas. ¡Hay que ser honestos! Esta familia nunca funcionó ¿no es así padre?
- Mi hermano tiene razón papá, nunca fuimos realmente una familia…
- Hijos yo… - trató de decir Terry
- Hiciste lo que pudiste papá – lo interrumpió Kyle – pero no lo lograste, era palpable ver que tu y… - no dijo el nombre – no se llevaban bien…
- Si – habló Dana – no se veía ese amor en tus ojos como cuando la mirabas a ella… a Susana la veías de otra forma, con indiferencia…
- Pero a ella… nuestra madre… la mirabas distinto – Dana miró a su hermano sorprendida de referirse a Candy así
Terry miró a sus hijos y sonrió
- Creo que necesitamos hablar con ella – dijo Kyle
- Si, por primera vez concuerdo contigo hermano
Los ojos de los chicos brillaban de forma especial, en ese momento Terry supo con certeza lo que debía hacer.
* * *
"Es en verdad maravilloso sentir cómo el océano moja mis pies…" se dijo Candy.
Estaba parada descalza, admirando aquel azul del mar, la brisa revolvía más sus rizados cabellos, mientras con una mano tenía agarrada su falda evitando que ésta se alzara y enseñara impúdicamente sus bien torneadas piernas.
Hacía poco que había llegado a ocupar una casa en aquel lugar tan exclusivo en las playas de Miami. Patty se la había ofrecido para que viviera ahí hasta que se sintiera con ganas de regresar a Chicago.
Desde el momento en que Candy llegó, era una delicia para ella admirar la playa, relajarse, pero una sombra seguía nublando sus verdes ojos, una tristeza se seguía pintando en ellos, al evocar los pocos momentos en que pudo estar cerca de Terry, los cuales la hacían haber deseado entonces disfrutar de más acercamientos con él, pero sobre todo, trataba de conformarse con los pequeños momentos que también estuvo junto a sus hijos, darse cuenta que su pequeña era exactamente como Terry, y Kyle, tan guapo, sabía que tendría mucha suerte con las mujeres.
Sonreía de pensar en aquellas situaciones, pero al mismo tiempo volvía a sentir aquel dejo de nostalgia por lo que pudo haber vivido de seguir en Nueva York y seguir luchando hasta que la amaran, pero aún así sentía desesperanza porque quizás no iban a llegar a amarla como ella lo deseaba.
* * *
Albert arribó a Nueva York para arreglar unos asuntos, al terminar se dirigió al edificio que ocupara para sus estancias en la gran manzana, salía del elevador mientras sus pensamientos daban vueltas en su mente, por lo que no se dio cuenta que había unas personas en la puerta del departamento, entonces se detuvo y sus ojos se agrandaron por la sorpresa.
- ¡Albert! – era Terry - ¡al fin llegas!
- Terry ¿qué haces aquí? – preguntó con extrañeza, y miró atrás de él, estaban los dos chicos
- Tenemos unos minutos de haber llegado – explicó Terry – hemos estado tocando pero nadie nos abre ¿dónde está Candy?
Albert no contestó, sacó una llave de su saco y abrió, los invitó a pasar con un ademán, entraron al departamento, entonces se dieron cuenta que no había nadie ahí, aunque Terry si percibió el aroma de Candy aún esparcido en aquel lugar.
- Albert dime ¿dónde está Candy? ¿podemos esperarla? – preguntó Terry
- Terry, verás… - titubeaba Albert
- ¿Qué pasa Albert? – la voz de Terry denotaba angustia, misma que comenzaba a crecer, los chicos miraban sin entender lo que sucedía - ¿le pasó algo malo?
- No, no, ella está bien, pero…
- ¡Habla por favor Albert! – lo urgió
- Candy… - miró a los chicos – se ha ido
Terry se sorprendió por aquella respuesta, no sabía como reaccionar, su rostro se contrajo, demasiadas emociones, un rostro de incredulidad daba paso a otro de dolor, dando paso a su vez a otro de impotencia.
Dana se abrazó a Kyle y comenzó a sollozar, mientras éste fruncía el ceño y cerraba sus ojos.
- ¿dónde se ha ido? – preguntó entonces Dana, Terry escuchó la voz de su hija y volteó – dígannos por favor…
- Candy… necesitaba irse… estaba muy mal – dijo Albert
- ¿por qué? – preguntó Kyle
- verás hijo – Albert se dirigió a él – ella, no quiso quedarse, ella quiere descansar
- Albert – habló Terry entonces acercándose a él y lo tomó de las solapas, pero no con furia, sino con una imploración – dime… dime dónde está, necesito verla, necesito estar con ella…
- Terry, ella me pidió que no lo dijera
- ¿volvió al Hogar de Pony? – preguntó esperanzado
- no, ni siquiera está en Chicago…
- ¿Entonces, dónde está?
Albert miraba a aquel hombre que se estaba deshaciendo en la incertidumbre, sus hijos estaban también ahí, posiblemente…
- ¿Qué es lo que quieres realmente con Candy, Terry? – preguntó Albert
- No te entiendo…
- Si, dime ¿qué quieres con ella? ¿qué quieren los tres con ella?
- Amarla… – contestó Kyle – conocerla…
- Es nuestra madre – dijo Dana
- ¿y tú Terry?
- Amarla también, - contestó - darle todo el amor que merece… recuperar el tiempo perdido… vivir a su lado intensamente… hacerla feliz…
- ¿A pesar de que tu aún eres un hombre casado?
- Pronto no lo seré – contestó con seguridad – no me importa nada más que estar con ella, formar la familia que siempre deseé tener a su lado, que nuestros hijos estén con ella, que conozcan cuán grande es su corazón y que la amen tanto como la amo yo… y sí ella me acepta, no tendré con qué agradecerle más a la vida esta oportunidad…
Albert lo miraba como si quisiera ver más allá, no sabía qué hacer, por un lado estaba lo que le había prometido a Candy, el no revelar donde estaba, pero por otra, veía como estaban sus dos hijos, tristes, pero sobre todo la petición de un hombre que imploraba estar cerca de ella.
Sabía además, que Candy estaba sola, sin nadie a su lado que la ayudara, aunque claro, ella era una mujer muy fuerte y no se dejaría caer nunca más, pero, sabía también que Candy amaba a aquellas tres personas con todo su corazón.
Definitivamente se merecían los cuatro una oportunidad…
**Continuará…**
* * *
¡Espero que les haya gustado, ha sido un capítulo muy difícil, pero al fin está listo, sus comentarios, ya saben donde enviarlos!
Aprovecho para agradecer a todas las chicas que amablemente me hacen llegar sus comentarios, espero con cada capítulo brindarles un buen momento, por lo que de nuevo les digo, gracias por todos sus correos, son muy lindos.
Saludos y muchos besos
Lizette.
15. Capitulo 15
**LA MENTIRA**
**_CAP. XV_**
**_"Fortaleza"_**
* * *
**_Y amarte como yo lo haría_**
**_Como un hombre a una mujer_**
**_Tenerte como cosa mía_**
**_Y no podérmelo creer_**
**_Tan mía, mía, mía, mía_**
**_Que eres parte de mi piel_**
**_Conocerte fue mi suerte,_**
**_Amarte es un placer… mujer…_**
Mientras conducía Terry el auto, miraba por el retrovisor a sus dos hijos, quienes iban mirando por las ventanillas, cada uno en sus pensamientos, sintió una gran tristeza, apartó la suya propia por el bien de ellos, necesitaba fortaleza en aquellos momentos, aunque volvió a sentir lo amargo de aquella huída de Candy, conocía aquel sabor, ya un día lo había probado y no quería que sus hijos también lo sintieran, aún así, no hablaba, respetaba el silencio de los chicos, el corazón le dolía al ver como su hija derramaba una lagrima silenciosa que resbalaba por su mejilla y que su hijo, luchaba consigo mismo para evitar que lágrimas emanaran de sus verdes ojos, tan parecidos a los de ella, su madre.
Quizás era tal la confusión que estaban experimentando, al no entender el proceder de su madre, o tal vez era el haber creído que ella estaría esperando por ellos, no lo sabía.
* * *
En casa, Eleanor esperaba, se paseaba por la pequeña salita nerviosa, los chicos habían salido llenos de esperanza con su padre, y esperaba ver a Candy entrar junto a ellos, sin embargo, lo que vio la llenó de tristeza, la primera en entrar fue Dana, iba llorando y sin hablar subió a su recamara corriendo, seguida de ella entraron Terry y Kyle, el primero era la imagen viva de la derrota, su rostro reflejaba la pérdida completa de algo muy importante, y Kyle, parecía no saber como asimilar lo ocurrido, con un susurro musito algo y se dirigió a la escalera y se fue a su recamara.
Terry se dirigió hasta el estudio, Eleanor lo siguió, vio como éste tomaba una botella y se servía una copa.
- ¿Qué sucedió hijo? – se aventuró a preguntar, Terry apuró el contenido de su copa
- ¿Qué sucedió? – repitió Terry, su voz contenía un matiz triste y sus ojos reflejaban el dolor que sentía en su interior – ¿quieres saber que sucedió madre? – trato de hablar con tranquilidad aunque su voz no lo apoyo y se quebró – sucedió que… ¡Candy se fue! – volvió a servirse otra copa antes de estallar en llanto.
Mientras bebía recordó el incidente con Albert, sobre todo, las palabras dichas:
**- _"…¡¿Por qué no puedo saber donde está?!" – decía Terry siseando, tratando de controlar su enojo. _**
**- _Ella me lo pidió así… – contestó Albert sereno – así que debo respetar sus deseos…_**
**_Los dos hombres se miraron, frente a frente, Terry trataba de calmarse, pero el desconcierto y desespero iban en aumento, sus puños apretados denotaban su enojo, Albert estaba preparado para responder cualquier embate de éste, conocía a su amigo, pero no cedería esta vez._**
**- _Comprende Terry, ella necesita estar sola, siempre lo ha hecho, sobre todo cuando ha resultado herida, cuando algo muy difícil ha sucedido, su vida siempre ha sido dura, lo sabes, necesita curarse, solo así, volverá… – Terry lo escuchaba – volverá con más bríos, con más fuerza, dispuesta a salir adelante, dale tiempo, sé que ella te ama y ama a sus hijos… dale tiempo – le repitió_**
**- _No lo creo, si así fuera, no se hubiera ido – contestó con necedad y más bajo para que sus hijos no escucharan._**
**- _"Amigo… ella volverá… confía en ella…"_**
Pasó junto a su madre que se encontraba sorprendida ante la noticia, se sentó copa en mano, sus ojos mostraban tristeza y cansancio, miraba el contenido de su copa, desechó aquellos pensamientos, no asimilaba aún que Candy hubiese partido sin hablar antes con él.
- ¿Se fue? Pero ¿cómo ha sucedido? – preguntaba Eleanor más por hacerlo hablar que por no entender la postura de Candy.
- Si, volvió a irse otra vez, volvió a huir – continuó – le pedí a Albert que nos dijera a donde había ido, no nos lo dijo, dijo que le diéramos tiempo… que necesitaba estar sola…
- Quizás él tenga razón…
- ¿Razón? ¿Crees que esa es la solución? – Terry explotó al fin – ¡Volvió a huir madre! ¿no lo entiendes? ¿qué más quería que yo hiciera? ¡Le dije que la amaba y que iba a estar con ella pasara lo que pasara! ¡que íbamos a luchar juntos! ¡pero no! prefirió huir ¡huir! ¡Yo la amo! Pero… parece que eso a ella volvió a importarle muy poco…
- Hijo… comprende, ella necesita tiempo, ustedes también lo necesitan para comprender todo lo que sucedió…
- ¿Tiempo? ¿tiempo dices? – repitió – ¿y todo el que hemos perdido? ¿acaso no le importó nada? ¡No, claro que no! ¡No le importamos, ni yo ni sus hijos! – Terry estaba furioso – yo estaba dispuesto a todo por ella, pero no – habló ya con más calma – es ella la que siempre decide que es lo mejor para todos, ¡siempre piensa que es ella la que puede tener la razón! – Terry calló mientras cerraba sus ojos para detener las lágrimas que pugnaban por salir – madre – habló – la amo con todo mi corazón – su voz estaba quebrada – pero no sé cuanto más podré seguir esperando…
Eleanor lo miró con tristeza, ella quizás entendía el proceder de Candy, pero entendía también a su hijo, era la desesperación de la pérdida lo que hacía que reaccionara de esa forma, igualmente sus nietos, quizás un sentimiento de culpa los estaba amartillando.
* * *
Aquella noche, Terry se encontraba en su recamara, aspiraba el aroma que desprendían sus sabanas, unas noches antes, Candy había estado en ellas, y ahora guardaban aquel aroma que tanto lo hacía recordarla.
Le había pedido a su madre hospedaje, para estar al lado de sus hijos, además, no quería estar solo en el departamento, también le recordaba la presencia de ella, ya que también había sido testigo de sus entrevistas con ella, parecía haber atrapado su esencia, su risa, todo, así que de repente se le hacía insoportable estar en él.
Pensaba, pensaba en ella, trataba de encontrar una señal, recordar qué era lo que la había llevado a alejarse de ellos sin decir nada, entendía que estaba herida, sin saber cómo reaccionar, pero…
**_"Debí haber sido sincera contigo desde un principio… espero que puedas perdonarme…"_**
Recordó las palabras dichas por ella al final, lo habían confundido un poco, ahora, podía entender un poco su proceder, qué era lo que había obligado a Candy a callar la verdad desde un principio.
**_"Era lógico darse cuenta que ella no iba a hablar y decirte: Tus hijos son mis hijos y la mujer que es ahora tu esposa me los robó, ahora vengo por ellos…"_**
Le dijo una voz en su mente, lo que hizo que él reconociera lo difícil que había sido para Candy haber aguantado las ganas de poder acercarse a sus hijos, entendió que para ella debió haber sido muy difícil no decirles "yo soy tu madre", más aún al ver como él mismo se interponía al ver que ella tenía acercamiento con Kyle, porque como siempre le sucedía con ella, los celos lo habían consumido al pensar que otro hombre pudiera acercársele.
**_"…Dale tiempo… ella volverá… confía… ella te ama a ti y a tus hijos…"_**
Terry se mantuvo despierto hasta muy tarde con toda aquella maraña de pensamientos y las palabras de Albert seguían escuchándose en su mente, pensaba y repasaba todo lo ocurrido hasta ese día, mientras sus ojos comenzaban a cerrarse poco a poco, abrazado a la almohada que noches atrás había dado descanso a la mujer que tanto amaba.
* * *
Un nuevo día llegó y él se levantó más sereno, salió a la terraza donde acostumbraba su madre servir el desayuno, encontrándola en compañía de su hija.
- Buenos días… – saludó Terry con sendos besos a su madre y a su hija – ¿Kyle no desayunará? – preguntó extrañado al no ver a su hijo.
- Él salió muy temprano vestido con ropa de montar – le informó su hija.
- Siéntate hijo, están por servir – pidió Eleanor.
Aquel desayuno fue tranquilo, pero Terry sentía que su garganta estaba cerrada y le era un poco difícil tragar bocado, volteó con su hija, y su corazón se estrujó al notar las profundas ojeras, se notaba cansada, vio que solo estaba picando su comida, sin llevar nada a su boca.
Terry no hizo comentarios, volteó donde su madre, quien le dio una mirada de tranquilidad, así que éste esperó a que terminaran aquel "desayuno".
- ¿Vas a salir hijo? – preguntó Eleanor parada en la puerta.
- Por el momento… no – contestó mirando con disimulo a su hija, quien no hablaba y estaba aún sentada mirando el jardín – posiblemente lo haga más tarde – le guiñó un ojo a su madre.
- Entiendo… – contestó la dama a su vez sonriendo y comprendió lo que haría Terry.
Cuando Eleanor salió dejándolos solos, Terry se acercó a ella.
- Hija…
- Si papá… – dirigió la mirada a Terry.
- ¿Quieres acompañarme a caminar? – ella aceptó, se tomó del brazo de su padre y comenzaron a caminar despacio – ¿cómo te sientes cariño?
Hubo una pausa en la cual Dana parecía no querer hablar, solamente miraba el piso por donde pasaba.
- Yo no estoy muy bien… – habló él al darse cuenta que su hija no lo hacía – creo que tu hermano tampoco lo está… sabes, fui injusto con… ella – inició con cautela el tema.
- ¿Injusto? – repitió Dana hablando al fin – ¿por qué?
- Verás, aquel día que sucedió todo… debí haberme ido con ella y apoyarla… debí haber estado a su lado, pero, la dejé sola…
- Yo… también fui injusta… – Terry guardó silencio – la juzgué… sin haberla escuchado antes…
Su platica se interrumpió cuando escucharon sonidos de cascos de caballo y relinchos, se apresuraron hasta donde se escuchaba todo aquello, llegaron al plano donde estaba una pista de equitación con sus vallas, Terry observó con el ceño fruncido.
Era Kyle quien estaba haciendo brincos muy temerarios, brincaba muy cerca ya de las vallas, lo cual era bastante peligroso, sobre todo si el caballo se detenía en el último momento o no tenía suficiente espacio para saltar.
Terry y Dana se dieron cuenta que Kyle fustigaba al caballo, éste incluso se miraba furioso, como si tratase de controlar su descontento, Terry por experiencia se daba cuenta que su hijo estaba completamente furioso y que por eso estaba castigando de aquella manera al caballo, él lo había hecho antes, resultando con varias caídas, pero afortunadamente ninguna de gravedad, aunque sabía que su hijo era muy buen jinete, se preocupó.
Un presentimiento le asaltó el corazón cuando vio que Kyle saltaría una valla que estaba mal colocada, iba muy rápido, trató de avisarle que se detuviera, éste no lo escuchó y el caballo saltó, pero una de sus patas traseras no se levantó lo suficiente y chocó con la valla, haciendo que el caballo trastabillara, lanzando al joven por encima de éste, cayendo unos metros adelante.
- ¡Kyle! – gritó Terry
Dana estaba sin habla, parecía no salir sonido de su boca, solamente sus ojos denotaban el temor, Terry se precipitó seguido hacia donde había caído su hijo, lo encontró tirado sobre la tierra.
- ¡Kyle hijo! – llegó a su lado y lo tocó con cuidado – ¡respóndeme! – veía con temor el rostro del chico, estaba manchado de tierra y salía sangre de una de sus cejas, mantenía sus ojos cerrados.
- ¡Auch! – pronunció Kyle moviéndose, haciendo que el alma de Terry volviera a respirar de alivio
- ¡Oh hijo!
- Papá… – dijo con trabajos – yo…
- No hables, no te muevas, trataré de revisar si no estás lastimado… – comenzó a decir Terry preocupado mientras lo revisaba.
- No papá… estoy bien, no siento nada roto… solamente… ¡auch! – dijo cuando levantó una mano y se tocó la ceja donde salía sangre.
- Parece ser la única herida – terció Dana.
- Si, así parece… – dijo Kyle, sentándose – ¿Y Blue moon está bien? – preguntó preocupado.
- Creo que si – contestó Terry, y los tres voltearon a mirar al caballo negro azulado que pastaba cerca de ahí – ¡Oh Kyle, Kyle! ¿en qué estabas pensando?
- Me sentía… furioso – sus verdes ojos reflejaron una chispa – me sentía muy mal conmigo mismo.
- Pero hijo…
- Me siento culpable por el abandono de… nuestra madre… – a Terry le sorprendió aquella aseveración.
- ¿Culpable, por qué hijo?
- Por haberla ofendido de aquella manera… ¡le dije que era una mala mujer! ¡que no valía la pena! – decía con la voz quebrada – ella me había ofrecido un consuelo sin pedir nada, una compañía… y yo… la ofendí… ahora entiendo porque nos dejó…
- No hijo…
- ¡Kyle tiene razón papá! – habló Dana – la ofendimos, la humillamos… yo la… – comenzó a llorar echándose a los brazos de Terry – ¡le levanté la mano!
- Tranquilízate cariño… – la comenzó a consolar hablándole suavemente – ustedes no son culpables de nada, ella… se alejó porque… así lo necesitaba…
- ¿Acaso no nos ama? – preguntó Kyle
- ¡Claro que si! – abrazó con su otro brazo a su hijo, haciendo que se juntaran los tres – ella los ama más que a nada en el mundo… incluso más que a mi – sonrió.
- Eso no lo creo – le dijo Dana alzando la cara bañada en lágrimas a su padre – ella también te ama, lo pude notar en sus ojos…
- El caso es – Terry le sonrió a su hija y continuó – que ella cuando pasa por algo muy fuerte… – comenzó a explicarles – necesita alejarse y tratar de sanar sus heridas… su madre, es una mujer muy, muy fuerte, mucho más fuerte que yo… gracias a ella, gracias a la fortaleza que ella me ha enseñado a tener, es que he podido salir adelante… – continuó después de besar la frente primero de uno y después del otro – ella no puede dejar de sentir amor por ninguno de ustedes, sé que ustedes son lo más preciado que ha tenido… ¿sabían que ella también fue adoptada? ¿que no tuvo padres? – sus hijos escuchaban atentamente y se sorprendieron de aquella pregunta – por eso cuando ustedes llegaron a mi vida, los amé y me di a la tarea de cuidarlos y protegerlos, me recordaron tanto a ella, sobre todo tu hijo – se dirigió a Kyle – tu, con tus ojos verdes y tus cabellos rubios y tu mi princesa, tienes tus cabellos rizados y la sonrisa de ella… un día me dije que si yo me hubiera casado con ella, nuestros hijos serían como ustedes…
- ¿Cuándo te enamoraste de ella papá? – preguntó Kyle.
- Creo que desde el primer momento en que la vi… – cerró sus ojos y rememoró ese momento, ella parada en el barco entre la bruma, confundiéndolo con otro, mirar sus ojos, aquellos ojos que jamás pudo olvidar, su sonrisa, todo… – era aún una niña… y yo también… – sonrió.
- ¿Aún la sigues amando? – preguntó Dana.
- Con toda mi alma…
- Papá… – dijo Kyle.
- … háblanos de ella… – continuó Dana.
- …nos gustaría saber un poco más…
Terry los miró, ahí estaba él con Dana y Kyle a cada lado de él, sonreía, sabía que necesitaban saber de Candy, conocerla, entenderla, aunque él mismo en ocasiones no la entendía, pero trataría de hacer lo mejor que pudiera, claro que si, les hablaría de su madre, una mujer excepcional…
- Pues verán… yo la conocí cuando aún era más joven que ustedes… y creo que desde entonces… me robó el corazón…
Aquel día el sol brilló un poco más, sentados los tres aún en la hierba de aquel lugar, donde vivían junto a Eleanor, Terry les contó lo que él, con el paso del tiempo conoció y vivió de Candy, las desventuras y tristezas por las que ella había pasado, las alegrías, la fuerza del amor que había nacido entre ellos, el abandono, no guardó más que lo esencial, guardó para si, aquella noche, la única noche en que pudo sentir la gloria y el paraíso junto a ella, la noche en que habían sido concebidos ellos, sus hijos, dos jóvenes ahora, y que por azares del destino o fortuna de éste mismo, habían llegado a su lado.
* * *
La noche de aquel día, difícil en un principio, era ahora más tranquila, Terry estaba acostado en su cama, junto a la almohada que guardaba aquel aroma que despertaba sus sentidos, pensaba en lo que había platicado con sus hijos, lloró con ellos al recordar su pasado junto a Candy, se había dado cuenta que en realidad habían sido muy pocos aquellos momentos junto a ella, pero eran los mejores y más inolvidables momentos, sobre todo la única noche que vivió a su lado y probó en todo su esplendor lo que era hacer el amor.
Quizás hoy sí podría dormir sereno, cuando fue a darles las buenas noches a sus hijos estaban más tranquilos, comprendió que habían pasado días muy tormentosos, se sentían culpables, pero no era así, a ellos solamente las circunstancias los hizo reaccionar de esa manera, les habían envenenado el corazón, y al darse cuenta de ello, se habían culpado a si mismos por la huida de Candy.
- Candy – pronunció su nombre – te extraño… – mientras sus azules ojos miraban por la ventana hacia una luna que majestuosa se presentaba.
* * *
**MIAMI…**
En aquel lugar se había caído la noche, después de haber admirado la puesta de sol, Candy se levantó y se dirigió a la playa, había tomado como un ritual el ir y meter sus pies desnudos para sentir la arena entre sus dedos, para ser diciembre, el agua se sentía inexplicablemente tibia, por lo que decidió meterse aún más, con la tranquilidad de estar en una playa privada y el siguiente vecino estaba a varios metros, así que en vuelta en un vestido de tela delgada comenzó a disfrutar de la delicia del agua por su cuerpo y dio unas cuantas brazadas sin alejarse mucho, su cabello mojado parecía más rizado que nunca, daba la apariencia de una sirena.
La luna se abrió paso en aquel cielo reflejando su brillo en la playa, al salir del agua caminó escurriendo y se dejó caer en la arena, disfrutando del contacto de su piel húmeda con la arena, extendiendo los brazos, como pidiéndole un abrazo a la luna, cerró sus ojos mientras permanecía recostada, escuchaba los sonidos a su alrededor, embeleciéndose con el vaivén del mar que parecía arrullarla.
- Terry… te extraño tanto… – dijo mirando la luna – quizás me odies por haberme ido nuevamente, pero, necesitaba hacerlo…
Se levantó un poco desanimada, iba cubierta de arena, pero no le importaba, volvió a la casa. Se dio un buen baño y se atavió con una bata, se asomó por la terracita que tenía su dormitorio, la luna seguía reflejada en el mar, que se encontraba tranquilo.
- Pronto… pronto los veré… – sonrió y volvió a su cama, la luz se apagó.
* * *
Los días seguían su ritmo, el tiempo avanzaba sin detenerse.
- Señora – el mayordomo entró en la salita donde Eleanor estaba tomando el té – le traigo el correo…
- Gracias Jerry – contestó Eleanor, el mayordomo salió – veamos que hay ahora – comenzó a decirse a si misma – humm… ¡oh por Dios! – dijo al leer un sobre sin remitente.
* * *
Terry conducía el auto con cuidado, acompañado de sus hijos, los llevaba a la universidad donde Kyle pensaba matricularse y estudiar, todo parecía estar marchando un poco mejor, en sus hijos ya no tenían aquellas miradas tristes.
Se alegró mucho al saber que su hijo estudiaría medicina y le había pedido que lo acompañara a la universidad, incluso le había sorprendido la petición de Dana, quien quería estudiar para desempeñarse como profesora, por lo que buscarían el lugar adecuado para ella.
No se sentía desilusionado de que ninguno de ellos quisiera ser actor, se sentía orgulloso de que sus hijos siguieran sus sueños y fueran lo que quisieran ser, así como lo eran él y su madre, quienes pudieron ser lo que soñaron.
Aquel pensamiento lo entristeció un poco, ya que a Candy se le había arrebatado lo que siempre quiso ser: enfermera, y haberle retirado la licencia por el problema que había tenido, habría sido algo muy duro para ella no poder seguir fungiendo como tal.
* * *
Eleanor llegó a aquel discreto café, sabía que ahí no había posibilidades de que la vieran, cuando llegó y se acercó a una persona que estaba en la entrada, éste verificó en su libro y la llevó entre las mesas, hasta que llegó hasta donde la esperaban.
- ¡Eleanor!
- ¡Candy! – la saludó ésta abrazándola
Fue un abrazo muy emotivo para las dos.
- Ha sido un poco difícil… – comenzó a decir la rubia, Eleanor escuchaba atentamente
Estuvieron platicando un buen rato, lagrimas discretas brotaron de uno ojos verdes y también de unos profundamente azules. Eleanor la seguía escuchando con atención
- ¿Qué harás ahora Candy? – le preguntó Eleanor antes de despedirse – ¿los buscarás?
- ¿Le confieso algo? Tengo miedo…
* * *
Era ya tarde cuando Terry llegó a casa de su madre, los ensayos se habían prolongado más de la cuenta, Robert quería avanzar lo más pronto posible para poder llevar a cabo el estreno en la primavera, por lo que los hacía trabajar mucho más duro.
Al pasar junto a la salita donde acostumbraba estar siempre su madre, notó que había luz y entró, la encontró leyendo.
- Madre aún estás despierta, es muy tarde – la saludó besando su frente.
- Te estaba esperando hijo… – lo saludó también – te noto cansado.
- Si, Robert realmente se ha vuelto un negrero – le dijo sonriente.
- Me imagino… quiero… decirte algo hijo…
- ¿Sucede algo malo? – preguntó poniéndose alerta.
- No, no es algo malo, pero si algo que te hará sentir bien…
- ¡Vamos madre! ¿a qué viene tanto misterio? – le dijo desesperado.
- Vi a Candy… – habló Eleanor, Terry solamente la miró sin poder creer lo que le decía, parecía que no pudiera asimilar la noticia.
- ¡Quee! – se mezo sus cabellos – ¿Cuándo, dónde? – preguntó sin creerlo aún, se levantó y se sirvió una copa.
- Hoy… está aquí, en Nueva York…
Terry apuró el contenido de su copa y se sirvió otra, con ella en mano se acercó a su madre.
- ¿Cómo está? – preguntó con ansiedad.
- Pues… bien… aunque un poco temerosa.
- ¿Temerosa, por qué?
- Teme a tu reacción, a la de sus hijos…
- Tengo que verla – dijo con determinación y se encaminó a la puerta.
- Hijo, ya es muy tarde… ¿por qué no esperas a mañana?
- ¿Mañana?, no sé si podré esperar sabiendo que ella está aquí, tengo que verla, hablar con ella
- Se lo dije, pero, espera a mañana, con más calma, ya podrás verla…
- Madre… ¿crees que pueda soportar estar más tiempo lejos de ella?
Eleanor no le contestó, sabía que para Terry era esencial tenerla cerca y poder hablarle, sabía que su hijo necesitaba a Candy como si fuera aire para respirar, pero, él también tenía que contener ese impulso, ella tenía miedo de su reacción, por lo que le había pedido a Eleanor cuando platicaron que le dijera con tacto que ella estaba aquí, no quería que él reaccionara de una manera violenta.
* * *
Terry salió de su casa, no soportaría más la espera, no avisó a su madre, ni a sus hijos, no podía dormir, necesitaba verla, a pesar de que su madre le pidiera que esperase a mañana, él no podía esperar ni siquiera a que se hiciera de día, así que fue en su busca, tomando el camino hacia el departamento donde suponía podía estarse hospedando.
Al llegar al edificio, estuvo tocando insistentemente y un administrador muy serio y somnoliento le abrió, era muy tarde para que aún estuviera abierto el edificio.
- Buenas noches – lo saludó Terry.
- Buenas noches señor… – decía todo somnoliento y molesto.
- Granchester… quisiera ver a la señorita Andrey, podría avisarle…
- La señorita no se encuentra señor – le informó el administrador dejando de lado su enojo al reconocer al actor.
- ¿Cómo? Si le avisó a mi madre que estaba aquí…
- Si, así era señor, pero la señorita tuvo que salir de emergencia…
- No sabe usted a donde – preguntó – ¿qué sucedió?...
- Parece ser que un familiar enfermó, le avisaron y salió de urgencia
- ¿No dejó aviso o algo para alguien?
- Si, dejó un sobre para una persona…
- ¿Para Eleanor Backer de casualidad?
- Pues…
- Puede dármelo, ella es mi madre – le informó Terry al ver al hombre renuente a darle más información – por favor, yo se lo haré llegar – le suplicó.
- De acuerdo señor Granchester, la señorita me pidió expresamente que se lo hiciera llegar a la señora, confío en que así será.
- Gracias –dijo y salió del edificio, encaminándose a su auto.
Se dirigió a casa nuevamente desilusionado por no hablar con Candy, había salido completamente nervioso, con la ilusión y la alegría de verla, pareciera que el tiempo había regresado a la etapa del colegio, cuando su sola presencia lo hacía temblar cual hoja al viento, pero al enterarse que ella no estaba, sintió el vacío que siempre le producía algún intento fallido por verle, aunque el alma volvió a su cuerpo al tener cuando menos unas líneas de ella.
Al llegar, entró presuroso y se dirigió a la recamara de su madre, tocó con suavidad, y controlando las ansias de abrir el sobre, pero era un caballero y no lo hizo, se lo daría a su madre para que ella lo abriera, después de todo, iba dirigido a ella.
Su madre le abrió enfundada en su bata.
- Hijo ¿qué pasa? – preguntó somnolienta y lo miró con extrañeza al verlo aún vestido, ya era muy tarde y parecía venir de la calle
- Madre, perdóname por despertarte de esta manera, fui a buscar a Candy… pero se ha ido de nuevo.
- ¡Cómo! – contestó ella, despertando completamente – ¡pero si yo hablé con ella y no me dijo que saldría!
- Ha dejado este sobre con el administrador del edificio.
- A ver, lógico, viene dirigido a mi – le dijo como si lo regañara tomando el sobre en sus manos.
- Así es madre… – dijo impaciente – anda léela – la apresuró.
- Tranquilo hijo, esta bien, pasa… – respondió dándose por vencida
Terry entró a la recamara de su madre, cerró la puerta tras de él, mientras ella prendía una lamparita para poder leer mejor, abrió con cuidado el sobre y sacó la carta.
Se puso sus anteojos con tranquilidad, Terry en cambio estaba ansioso, cada segundo le parecía una eternidad, su madre parecía no darse cuenta de su impaciencia, quien estaba leyendo.
- "Me pide disculpas y dice que tuvo que irse de urgencia, recibió una llamada de Chicago – Terry escuchaba atentamente – su amiga Annie ha dado a luz y está un poco delicada, tuvo que ir para ayudarla con su hijo más pequeño y con el nuevo bebé, que cuando regrese se pondrá en contacto conmigo, y además, que no te avise aún de su llegada a Nueva York…" – Eleanor dejó de leer – ¡Y ya te lo dije! – dijo alzando un tanto la voz.
- ¡Vaya! Así que salió de emergencia… – Terry estaba con el ceño fruncido – volvió y no quería que yo lo supiera… si, si, no aún – se apuró a decir al ver que su madre iba a replicar – pero… ¿qué piensa?
- No debí decirte nada hijo… pero, soy tu madre, te he visto sufrir todo este tiempo, así que pensé que no te haría daño saberlo, y no me equivoqué, tus ojos volvieron a brillar…
- Sabes una cosa mamá, Candy está evitando el acercamiento con nosotros… tiene miedo y la entiendo – sonrió de medio lado – teme miedo a mi reacción y a la de nuestros hijos… y… no tiene validez lo que está haciendo… y sabes otra cosa… no le voy a dar esa oportunidad.
- ¿Qué harás hijo? – preguntó Eleanor sin entender
- Ya lo verás madre, ya lo verás – sonriendo enigmáticamente salió de su recamara
* * *
En Chicago, una pálida Annie recibía a su amiga.
- ¡Oh Candy estoy tan contenta de que hayas venido!
- Yo también estoy contenta Annie, no creí que hubieras estado embarazada, no me habían dicho nada – le reprochó tanto a Annie como a Patty, que estaba ahí.
- No queríamos preocuparte, tenías tantos problemas últimamente – contestó Patty.
- Si, necesitabas tiempo para ti – dijo Annie.
- Pero no hubiera importado – contestó Candy mirando el pequeño rostro del bebé – ¿cómo se llamará?
- Aún no tenemos el nombre, pero Archie opina que se llame como yo – contestó Annie.
- Será tan bella como su madre – dijo Candy mirando a la bebé
- ¿Y tú Patty, cuando tendrán su primer hijo tú y Albert? – preguntó Annie.
- No lo sé, quizá en unos meses podamos darles la sorpresa.
Albert y Patty se habían casado hacía dos meses, fue una boda discreta, sólo los familiares más cercanos habían sido invitados, se había celebrado en el jardín de las rosas de Anthony.
Los diarios hablaron de que al fin el patriarca de los Andrey había contraído matrimonio, con una mujer perteneciente a una de las familias más destacadas de la sociedad de Miami, que además era su asistente personal.
Candy no asistió, no se sentía muy bien, así que solamente les mandó sus mejores deseos.
- Me alegra tanto verlas tan felices – les comentó Candy.
- ¿Y tu Candy, cómo estás? – le preguntó Annie.
- Bien… – dijo escueta.
- ¿Has resuelto todo…? – preguntó Patty
- No… aún no…
- Pero ¿qué harás? – preguntó Annie.
- Trataré de acercarme muy pronto a ellos… – les contestó sonriente, mientras arrullaba a la bebé
* * *
Candy pasaba largas horas en la habitación de la bebita, sentir el instinto maternal renacía en ella, a veces algunas lágrimas se asomaban en sus ojos y cuidaba de no dejarlas caer, en su mente, las imágenes de sus niños se repetían una y otra vez, cuando llegaron al mundo, como fueron creciendo.
Su mente recreó todos y cada uno de los momentos que tanto Eleanor y Terry le habían narrado, así tenía recuerdos que atesorar.
De repente, la bebita comenzó a llorar, Candy se acercó a su cuna, para Annie aquel embarazo había sido el más difícil, así que dormía, la rubia trataría de que descansara y se repusiera lo más pronto posible, cargó a la niña y comenzó a arrullarla.
Le cantaba en voz baja, estaba tan concentrada en lo que hacía que no se percató del momento en que la puerta de la habitación se abría suavemente, mantenía la cabeza baja mirando a la niña, un peso en su nuca la hizo voltear, frente a ella, quien menos se imaginaba la miraba con detenimiento.
- ¡Por Dios! – exclamó en un suspiro y sus ojos se abrieron por completo.
- ¿Cuánto tiempo más te ocultarás? – preguntó Terry mirándola a los ojos – ¿cuánto tiempo más estarás alejada de nosotros, de mí?
Ella no podía articular palabra, lo miraba sin poder creerlo, sus ojos comenzaron a nublarse, una cortina cristalina asomó en ellos, temblorosa, a punto de desplomarse en gruesas lágrimas.
Iba a hablar, pero no podía, la niña pareció sentir aquel titubeo de Candy y comenzó a gimotear, ella volvió a arrullarla, apartando la mirada de Terry.
- Ya, ya, shh – comenzó a hablar con suavidad a la bebita, al reconocer el murmullo relajante la nena volvió a dormir, la rubia continuaba arrullándola.
Terry sintió una ternura invadir sur ser mientras contemplaba la escena, la vio más joven y guardó aquella imagen, pensó: "así arrullaba a mis hijos, con la misma dulzura y cuidado…"
Candy evitaba mirarlo, su escrutinio la ponía nerviosa, no entendía cómo la había encontrado, entonces, recordó que había dejado una carta para Eleanor, con suavidad colocó de nuevo a la bebita en su cuna.
- Yo… – se volvió hacia él sin mirarlo, no sabía como empezar.
Él fue el primero en acercarse, ella miraba al piso.
- Te extrañé… – dijo y Candy lo miró sorprendida
- Yo esperaba…
- ¿Qué? ¿esperabas acaso que te reclamara y me enojara por haberte ido? – su mirada recorría su rostro, buscando sus ojos.
- Quizás…
- Si… no lo voy a negar – hablaba bajo – me enojé y mucho cuando desapareciste, me puse furioso, y dolió más porque mis hijos estaban sufriendo también… – ella levantó la cabeza y lo miró sin entender – Si, tus hijos sufrieron al no encontrarte cuando fuimos a buscarte…
- No… yo no… lo sabía…
- Igual que tú, necesitaron tiempo para entender… se sentían culpables – ella no hablaba, lo miraba mientras su vista se nublaba poco a poco, se tapó la boca para evitar que saliera un sollozo – por haberte hecho daño, por haberte ofendido.
- Siempre creí que yo era la que les había hecho daño…
- No, no – la tomó de los brazos y buscó de nuevo su mirada – tu no podrías hacerles daño jamás… ellos lo entendieron así… son unos chicos grandiosos, sabes, les hablé de ti… de cómo y quien eras… Y al igual que yo, se enamoraron de ti, de una pequeña pecosa que conocí en un barco una noche de niebla… a la que desde entonces no he podido dejar de amar…
Las lágrimas afloraron sin control, estaba demasiado vulnerable, la sola presencia de Terry tenía ese efecto en ella.
- ¿Candy? – escucharon a sus espaldas, era Archie – anda Terry, vayan, es mi turno de cuidar a mi hija – les sonrió guiñándoles un ojo.
Ambos salieron, Terry la llevaba abrazada por los hombros en una actitud por demás protectora, Candy dejaba fluir las lágrimas silenciosamente, él le ofreció un pañuelo, mismo que ella tomó, se limpió y aspiró el aroma característico de él, llenando sus sentidos.
Lo condujo a su recamara, necesitaban privacidad y ahí la tendría, Terry cerró la puerta detrás de sí, ella se sentó al borde de su cama, su rostro estaba más relajado, pero en sus ojos, las huellas de llanto eran aún visibles.
- Candy… ¿por qué te fuiste? – preguntó arrodillado ante ella.
- No me sentía… muy bien… – decía hipando – me sentía sucia… me sentía herida… pensé una y mil cosas… creí que mis hijos me odiaban… me despreciaban… que quizás Susana había ganado al fin… – de nuevo las lágrimas rodaron por sus mejillas.
- No, no – tomó sus manos entre las de él, mientras eran bañadas por las lágrimas de ella – eso no fue así… ellos jamás tuvieron un mal pensamiento hacia ti… al contrario… se fueron ese mismo día de aquella casa… – Candy lo miró, Terry le limpió las lágrimas – abandonaron a Susana… no quieren saber de ella… reconocieron el daño inmenso que había traído a nuestras vidas…
- ¿En verdad? – decía como una niña.
- ¡Sí!, por supuesto que es verdad – se levantó sentándose a su lado – ¿Acaso creías que era muy fácil engañarlos? No, tienen tu sangre y la mía ¡vaya combinación! Una mona pecas y…
- …un aristócrata arrogante – lo interrumpió.
- ¡Oye! Yo iba a decir un tipo guapo como yo… – bromeó y logró que ella se relajara un poco al fin.
- Eres un… –no pudo terminar la frase, los labios de él la callaron – Terry… – musitó suavemente cerca de sus labios cuando éste los liberó.
- ¡Eres una tonta! – le acarició su mejilla – ¡no quiero separarme más de ti! ¡no quiero perder más tiempo sin ti! – ella lo miraba con ternura – te amo Candy.
Terry volvió a atrapar sus labios, ahora en un beso tierno y profundo, suavemente sus cuerpos resbalaron sobre la cama, ahí, en medio de una lluvia de sus besos se hicieron las más fuerte promesas de amor.
* * *
Momentos después, Candy se acicaló un poco y en compañía de su amado Terry entraron a la biblioteca, donde unos inquietos jóvenes los estaban esperando, no sabían qué hacer, habían tenido en sus cabezas tantas ideas para cuando estuvieran cerca de su madre, pero ahora, todo parecía habérseles olvidado.
Los dos se acercaron a ella presurosos y la abrazaron al mismo tiempo, ella los recibió y su corazón se inflamó de gozo y dicha, como cuando eran bebés, los mantenía así, cada uno en cada brazo.
- Perdóname mamá – decía Dana llorosa.
- No tengo nada que perdonar.
- Sí mamá, perdóname, yo no debí…
- Shhh, no digas nada – tomó su mano sin dejar de verla a los ojos, aquella mano que un día la había abofeteado y la besó, haciendo que Dana llorara con más fuerza – te amo pequeña, te amo tanto… – volteó a mirar a Kyle, tenía los ojos rojos, tratando de no derramar lágrimas – mi niño, siempre haciéndote el fuerte… te amo amor…
- Yo quiero que me perdones mamá… fui un grosero… te ofendí – una lagrima salió y con furia la apartó – ofendí a papá…
- Tu padre y yo te amamos… no hay nada que perdonar… al contrario, debemos tratar de recuperar este tiempo que hemos perdido… darnos la oportunidad de conocernos y que aprendan a amarme como yo los amo a ustedes…
- ¡Pero si ya te amamos! – dijeron al mismo tiempo, volvieron a abrazarla y le dieron un beso, uno en cada mejilla – no queremos que te vuelvas a alejar de nosotros.
- Lo ves pecosa – habló Terry con voz enronquecida por la emoción – todos te amamos… y no permitiremos que te alejes de nuevo… ¿verdad hijos?
Juntos por fin, como lo que eran, una familia, se unieron en un abrazo haciendo promesas de una nueva vida.
* * *
UN AÑO DESPUES…
- ¿A qué has venido? – le dijo aquella voz cargada de odio.
- A decirte cuánta lástima me das… – Candy veía con lástima a aquella mujer que en tiempos de reclusión había odiado, jamás había conocido ese sentimiento, ella se lo había enseñado – mírate, en lo que has terminado… sola, amargada y resentida por la vida…
- ¡Si vienes a rogarme que deje en libertad a Terry estás muy equivocada! – gritó Susana, su voz cargada de veneno desde una silla de ruedas, a la cual se viera condenada tras aquella caída de las escaleras, estaba invalida de la cintura para abajo, además, vivía prácticamente sola en aquella casa que años atrás compartiera con Terry y sus hijos – ¡siempre serás la otra, la amante!
- No me importa y no vengo a eso…– contestó Candy sonriendo – un día, ¿recuerdas que un día dije que me vengaría de ti? – su mirada tomó un tinte burlón mientras observaba a Susana – ¿te sorprende?, no deberías, querida – su voz sarcástica taladraba los oídos de su interlocutora – sí, por todo el mal que me hiciste, el sufrimiento que me ocasionaste, por arrebatarme lo que más he amado en la vida, dije que me vengaría, por haberle hecho daño a mis hijos, por haber condenado a Terry a una vida miserable, te pedí y te rogué encarecidamente que lo hicieras feliz ¿lo recuerdas?
Susana la miraba con odio, pero Candy no se amedrentaba como antaño ante ella, la enfrentaba y con mayor intensidad
- Pero no lo hiciste… te lo advertí, pero no te importó, tomaste a la ligera mis amenazas, así que… ahora vengo a pagarte por todos esos favores…
Sonreía al tiempo que caminaba a su alrededor, luego, se detuvo sin quitarle la mirada y hablando más alto.
- No me importa si no le das el divorcio a Terry, no me importa en lo absoluto, sabes, quiero que sepas que soy la mujer más feliz y más amada del mundo, la más afortunada que puede existir… Terry y yo somos la pareja que siempre debimos ser, nos amamos… tengo los hijos más maravillosos que pueda tener cualquier mujer… además… ¡estoy esperando un hijo de Terry!…
Susana abrió más los ojos mientras un líquido rojizo parecía haberle sido inyectado en ellos, Candy en cambio, tenía los ojos brillantes, calló un momento, escogiendo las palabras adecuadas.
- Quiero… darte las gracias… ¡sí! agradecerte por haber sido precisamente tú el conducto para que Terry y mis hijos estuvieran siempre unidos, tú los acercaste a él… si no lo hubieras hecho, no sé donde estarían ahora… por eso quiero darte las gracias… estoy plena de felicidad… quiero estar en paz conmigo misma… es por eso que, he venido a saldar nuestra cuenta… no me debes nada Susana… ojalá jamás nos volvamos a ver… adiós…
Candy abandonó la habitación, dejando sola a Susana, su cara convertida en piedra, condenada de por vida a una silla de ruedas, perdió, al final todo lo había perdido, ¿qué tenía ahora ella? Sólo una casa fría, abandonada, una persona que venía dos veces por semana a limpiar, porque nadie aguantaba su carácter y malos tratos, mientras que ella, la depositaria de todo sus odios y resentimientos, con aquella noticia y la belleza que da la felicidad venía a darle el tiro de gracia que necesitaba para que su vida se terminara ¿cuánto tiempo más estaría esperando su fin?
Candy salió de aquella casa sintiendo como si un gran peso de encima se le quitara de los hombros, respiró el aire de una manera que parecía querer estallar sus pulmones, pero lejos de sentir alguna pena o algún remordimiento por haber ido a verla, por haberle mostrado su felicidad, si, era verdad, ella era una persona invalida, pero no menos despreciable por eso. Se sentía feliz, sentía que había hecho lo correcto, como se lo dijo a Susana, quería estar en paz con ella misma, liberarse de aquel odio, de ese profundo rencor que con el paso de los años se había anidado en su ser, y sobre todo, del ánimo de venganza que anteriormente había manchado su corazón.
Ahora, se sentía como aquella niña que un día abandonó el Hogar de Pony, llena de ilusiones y proyectos cuando su alma aún no estaba contaminada por sentimientos que la pudieran herir. Sentía ganas de compartir con todo el mundo aquella felicidad que henchía su corazón, sobre todo ahora, que el milagro del amor obraba en ella como un regalo que Dios le estaba otorgando al darle la oportunidad de vivir junto con sus hijos y el amor de su vida, compensando además la dicha de sentir como una vida volvía a crecer dentro de ella.
Dios volvía a darle el regalo de ser madre nuevamente, junto a Terry y a sus hijos tenían ahora la gran oportunidad de ser lo que siempre deseó tener: Una familia
Continuará…
* * *
Ahora si, el siguiente es el final…
Espero que hayan disfrutado este capítulo, y de nueva cuenta vuelvo a reiterar mis mas grandes agradecimientos por la atención que le dan a éste fic.
Saludos.
Lizette.
16. Capitulo 16
_**LA MENTIRA**_
_**CAPITULO XVI**_
_**"No sabes cuánto te quiero"**_
_Esta amaneciendo, que paz refleja tu cara cuando te da la luz,_
_Ya es casi la hora de empezar un nuevo día y la verdad,_
_Reconozco que no me gusta nada madrugar_
_Quizás sea esa la razón por la que tengo tan mal despertar_
_Agradezco tanto que cada mañana me regales tu primera mirada,_
_Tu sonrisa y que me digas, buenos días mi amor…_
_Me encanta mirarte cuando me preparas el café_
_Te preocupas tanto de lo mío_
_Que se te olvida y no te importa_
_Que el tuyo se este quedando frío_
_Siempre piensas antes en mi que en ti, siempre_
_Y no sabes cuanto te quiero_
_Necesito ese beso, ese beso tuyo de ayer, de hoy y de siempre,_
_Ese beso que me das cuando me marcho y cuando regreso,_
_Cuando llego tarde a casa cansado y con problemas_
_Y tú me recibes con los brazos abiertos, me ayudas, me oyes_
_Y sobre todo me escuchas y eso alivia mis penas…_
_Hoy desperté abrazado a ti, me gustó tanto mirarte tenias los ojos cerrados_
_Y la mente abierta a los sueños, tu cuerpo completamente desnudo_
_Mis manos parecían tener alas y se me escapaban, volaban hacia ti_
_Te deseaban y te acaricie de los pies a la cabeza una y otra vez_
_No sabes cuanto te quiero_
_Hay veces que no nos hacen falta ni las palabras para entendernos,_
_Nos basta con mirarnos y si por alguna tontería discutimos,_
_Acabamos encontrándonos donde mas cerca nos sentimos, mas unidos,_
_En nuestra cama… si nos va bien o mas, yo a tu lado y tu al mío,_
_Juntos unidos como arena y cal como agua del mismo río,_
_Hay quien no entiende este amor, hay quien nos da la espalda,_
_Que más nos da, si tú y yo sabemos que cuando nos conocimos,_
_Decidimos echar el ancla…_
_Te he sentido tantas veces, cuando a media noche te levantas,_
_Me miras y me mimas como si aun fuera un crío,_
_Pareces adivinar que estoy sintiendo frío y me echas otra manta,_
_Me gusta como me tratas y me gusta como me amas,_
_Eres el mejor regalo que me ha dado la vida,_
_No sabes cuanto te quiero…_
_Compartes todas mis cosas,_
_Todo lo que se puede sentir cuando de verdad se ama,_
_En esos momentos de entrega tuya y mía_
_Donde solo hay un testigo que nos mira,_
_Calla y guarda nuestra intimidad… nuestra cama…_
_Camilo Sesto._
Habían transcurrido seis meses de aquella visita que Candy hiciera para deshacerse de su pasado y enfrentar el futuro al lado se su familia.
Vivían en Miami, se habían trasladado después de que Candy y Terry se unieran simbólicamente, alejándose de las habladurías y chismes de Nueva York, él decidió que era lo mejor para su familia, no quería que todo aquello lastimara o manchara su amor, pues a nadie le concernía el que hubieran decidido vivir así, los trámites de divorcio con Susana se habían vuelto difíciles, el abogado de ésta interponía tantas trabas, así que Terry dejó todo en manos del suyo propio, lo que menos deseaba en esos momentos era el tener acercamientos con Susana.
Decidieron lo referente al cambio de residencia de común acuerdo, optaron por irse a Miami, donde nadie los molestaría, pues en Chicago la familia Andrey era muy conocida, Terry había hablado con sus hijos en referencia a la unión que tendría con su madre.
- _Creo que lo más viable es vivir en otro lado que no sea Chicago ni Nueva York… - había comenzado a decir Terry_
- _Creo que debemos tomar en cuenta la opinión de los chicos – dijo Candy_
- _Si, lo sé, pero no sé como decírselos…_
- _No te preocupes – lo abrazó – todo estará bien, ellos entenderán…_
_Después de aquel gran encuentro entre Candy y sus hijos, junto con Terry, se quedaron hospedados dos semanas en la Mansión de las Rosas, pudieron conocer a toda la familia Andrey, quienes los recibieron con los brazos abiertos, los chicos estaban felices, conocían un mundo muy distinto al que habían vivido hasta entonces, tuvieron la oportunidad de poder conocer más a su madre, sobre todo en el entorno donde ella se había criado._
_Conocieron incluso el Hogar de Pony, admiraron el gran trabajo que hacían en él, Dana reforzó su idea de ser maestra y poder dar clases a niños como los que vivían en el Hogar, así como Kyle poder darles una buena atención médica y también contribuir al crecimiento de aquel lugar._
_Pero había que continuar con la vida, Candy y Terry tuvieron que hablar con sus hijos en referencia a su situación, no podían vivir como marido y mujer, no podían casarse aún, Terry no lograba divorciarse. _
- _Candy… – estaban una noche en el jardín rodeados por el inmenso jardín – a pesar de que estoy a tu lado no puedo creer que al fin estemos juntos…_
- _En las noches – empezó a contar Candy sin mirarlo, veía el cielo despejado lleno de estrellas – cuando estaba en mi celda, miraba el cielo, sobre todo por las noches que había luna llena y entraba la luz por la pequeña ventana que tenía unos barrotes… pensaba… siempre pensaba en lo que haría si volviera a verte… pensaba en lo que te diría… y ahora que estoy a tu lado, solo quiero permanecer así… abrazada a ti, sentir tu calor, tu aroma… las palabras, las he perdido…_
- _Mi dulce pecosa – le dijo con voz acariciante y la abrazó con más fuerza – jamás he podido olvidar tu aroma y tu calor también… quisiera que pudiéramos estar juntos para siempre…_
- _¡Pero si lo estamos! _
- _No… no así, quiero que seas mi mujer… – Candy lo miró, en los ojos de Terry había un fuego que la hizo estremecerse al recordar lo que era estar en sus brazos y lo que podían hacer tanto su boca como sus manos_
- _Siempre lo he sido, siempre he sido tu mujer… – su voz se había enronquecido un poco._
- _Te amo con todo mi corazón – le declaró de repente sin dejar de mirarla – ¿quieres compartir conmigo lo que me resta de vida?_
- _Es lo que siempre he deseado, desde que te conocí…_
- _Ven… – la tomó de la mano_
_Se levantaron donde momentos antes habían estado sentados, se dirigieron hacía un pequeño claro que estaba cerca de la casa, había una banca rodeada de los rosales, un espacio perfecto._
- _Quiero… – empezó a decir Terry mientras sacaba algo de su saco – pedirte que seas mi esposa… sé que legalmente no podremos unirnos por ahora… pero yo quiero estar junto a ti, siempre…y hoy, junto a estos rosales, con las estrellas y la luna de testigo… quiero decirte que, prometo amarte y respetarte, cuidarte y hacerte feliz por toda la eternidad, aún después de que la muerte nos separe… – dicho esto, le puso un anillo, era un solitario rodeado en unos pequeños pétalos que asemejaban una rosa y su centro era un diamante._
- _Terry… – susurró ella, los ojos brillando de felicidad mientras una tela cristalina se hacía presente, lo miraba con tanto amor – yo, te juro que siempre, siempre te amaré… y prometo también amarte, respetarte, cuidarte y hacerte muy feliz, aún después de que la muerte nos separe _
_Después de estos votos, Candy le ofreció sus labios sellando así su juramento, ahora eran ya marido y mujer simbólicamente._
_Aquella noche fue memorable, después de aquellos juramentos con la luna y las estrellas arriba de sus cabezas y con el aroma de las rosas que parecían bendecir su unión, sus labios volvieron a unirse en un beso que sellaba aquel compromiso, todo era sincero, sin mentiras, sin dolor, sin reproches, parecía que volvían a ser aquellos jóvenes que unían sus labios por primera vez junto a un lago, un cielo y un sol resplandeciente, sin decir palabra alguna, tomados de la mano se encaminaron dentro de la casa, unidos llegaron hasta sus recamaras, ahí Terry la dejaría en la suya, mientras él se iría a la propia, pero…_
_Candy no soltó su mano, él solo la miró, ella sonrió, lo jaló suavemente dentro de su habitación, ahí, la puerta se cerró detrás de él, ella acercó sus labios a los de él y en franca seducción comenzó a besarlos como nunca lo había hecho, con suavidad, torpemente aún, Terry se excitó ante aquel detalle, sabía que esa mujer sólo había conocido un amante y ése, era él._
_Poco a poco los labios masculinos la fueron conduciendo hacia un lugar poco visitado por ella, comenzaron a reconocerse cada uno, las manos de él subieron por su espalda y comenzaron a bajar con suavidad el cierre de su vestido, las manos femeninas en tanto, comenzaron a recorrer el pecho de aquel hombre, aspiraba su aroma, poco a poco sus dedos abrían los botones que guardaban aquel duro pecho, con la piel al descubierto empezó un camino de besos donde antes había habido unos botones, Terry se estremecía con cada caricia que le prodigaba la mujer que tanto amaba._
_Solamente el sonido de la ropa, los besos y las respiraciones agitadas se dejaban escuchar en la oscuridad de aquella habitación, donde sólo un destello, obsequio de la luna que brillaba, entraba por la ventana, atestiguando la dulce entrega._
_Pronto aquellos dos seres estuvieron piel a piel, 18 años después volvían a unir sus cuerpos debajo de las sabanas, Terry amaba con reverencia a aquella mujer que tanto lo hacía sentir, ella se entregaba con la inocencia de una adolescente, parecía como si fuera la primera vez, 18 años después volvían a entregarse en toda su esencia, sus almas volvían a estar juntas de nuevo…_
_La danza del amor iniciada esa noche se prolongaría mientras vida tuvieran, descubriendo y explorando espacios nunca antes conocidos, donde el amor servía de candil para iluminar el camino a recorrer._
* * *
Al siguiente día hablaron con la familia, Kyle, Dana, así como Annie, Archie, Patty y Albert.
- Queremos comunicarles algo… – comenzó a decir el actor, con la mano de la rubia entrelazada – Anoche, Candy y yo nos hemos casado…
- Pero… ¿cómo ha sido posible? – preguntó con extrañeza Albert – si tu…
- ... nos hemos casado simbólicamente – continuó él, un suspiro de alivio se escuchó, los chicos no hablaron, Terry los miró, así como Candy – hijos… – se dirigió a ellos – amo a su madre como a ninguna mujer, sé que de momento ustedes están confundidos por todo lo que ha sucedido… sé que mi situación legal no es la apropiada, no quiero hacer controversia con los medios, ni que su madre salga perjudicada… quiero que formemos la familia que siempre debimos ser… por el momento no pueden llevar el apellido de su madre, no importa, llevan su sangre y ella los ama… eso es lo más importante… tendremos que mudarnos a otro lugar para poder vivir en familia y que las murmuraciones no nos alcancen, para estar tranquilos y en paz…
- Papá, yo... – habló entonces Kyle – entiendo lo que dices, creo que tienes razón, será un poco difícil al principio… pero… merecemos ser felices…
- Si papá… – aceptó Dana – necesitamos un poco de paz, como dices, lo que pasó en nuestras vidas, descubrir que vivíamos en una mentira, no ha sido fácil asimilarlo… y creo que, seremos felices…
- … si – dijo Kyle y abrazó a Candy – tenemos una mamá… una mamá muy hermosa
- … y un papá – dijo Dana y abrazó a Terry – muy guapo…
Todos ahí presentes se rieron de las ocurrencias de los chicos.
- ¿Tú qué dices Albert? – preguntó Candy – sabes que tu opinión es importante para mí.
- Pequeña… – le dijo – ¿recuerdas cuando te salvé aquella ocasión en que el río te arrastró y casi mueres? – tanto Terry y sus hijos enarcaron las cejas.
- Si… lo recuerdo…
- Te dije que… siempre que me necesitaras ahí estaría ¿recuerdas? – Candy asintió – lo último que te dije hace unos meses, te lo vuelvo a repetir, cuentas con todo mi apoyo para lo que decidas hacer, todo lo que necesites, cuenta con ello.
- ¡Albert gracias! – lo abrazó.
- Bienvenido a la familia Terry – Albert se acercó al actor, fundiéndose en un abrazo
- Gracias amigo.
Todos los felicitaron y decidieron celebrar por aquel matrimonio simbólico que habían efectuado, Patty les cedió la casa que tenía en Miami como regalo de bodas, la misma donde Candy había estado.
A Dana y Kyle les entusiasmó saber que vivirían en Miami, cerca de la playa, era un lugar muy paradisíaco y tranquilo, sobre todo por la zona donde estaba esa casa.
Cuando se fueron de Chicago, pasaron por Nueva York, ahí se despidieron de Eleanor, quien les prometió visitarlos pronto, Terry arregló todo, lo referente al teatro lo mantendría desde Miami, cuando fuera absolutamente necesario viajar a Nueva York lo haría con la más absoluta discreción, incluso había abandonado los escenarios, volviéndose productor asociado con Robert y Albert, quien estaba invirtiendo en ese rubro.
A Dana y a Kyle los inscribieron en la universidad de Miami, Kyle comenzaría a estudiar medicina y Dana se haría maestra, era lo que deseaban.
Así había comenzado una nueva vida para la familia Granchester, a la casa le comenzaron a hacer reformas para agrandarla, los chicos necesitaban su espacio. Día a día los dos se iban enamorando de su madre cada vez más, veían con felicidad como había cambiado su padre, eran testigos del gran amor que los unía.
Cuando llegó la noticia de que Candy estaba esperando un hijo, Terry prácticamente lloró, Dana brincó de felicidad y Kyle se quedó mudo de la emoción, aquel embarazo fue el más feliz y el más esperado por la familia.
* * *
Al principio, Candy podía acompañar a Terry cuando viajaba a Nueva York, fue en uno de esos viajes que ella aprovechó e hizo una visita especial, sin embargo, cuando su embarazo estuvo muy avanzado no pudo acompañarlo más, por lo que cuando Terry se ausentaba, volvía lo más pronto posible, parecía que no podía estar tanto tiempo separado de ella.
El tiempo había transcurrido sereno para ellos, que aguardaban con esperanza y anhelo la llegada del nuevo miembro de la familia.
* * *
Tenía apenas dos días de nacido, pero ya se notaba de quien eran sus rasgos, ese bebé había sido esperado con tanto amor, tanto de sus padres como de sus hermanos, Dana irradiaba felicidad por tener un bebé en casa, y Kyle, qué decir de él, se sentía contento de poder contar con un hermano más.
- Es hermoso… – decía Terry cargando a su hijo en brazos – gracias pecosa… – depositó un tierno beso en la frente.
- Se parece a ti – comentó Candy.
- ¡Papá! – entró corriendo Dana – llegó el cartero, trajo esta carta, viene de Nueva York.
Terry le dio el bebé a su hija, mientras abría el sobre, Dana y Candy estaban expectantes.
- Hija… – dijo momentos después Terry – ¿podrías dejarnos un momento a solas? Llévate al bebé.
- Si papá – salió con su hermano.
Terry se acercó a Candy, tenía el ceño fruncido, ella temía lo peor, sentada esperaba que él hablara.
- Es del abogado, dice que Susana nuevamente… apeló – informó sin aliento, Candy no pronunció palabra, solo lo miró – dice que el Juez le concedió llevar a cabo los trámites de la apelación… parece que volveremos a esperar… ¡Diablos, Diablos! – maldijo Terry
- No te desesperes – se levantó con trabajos, acercándose a él, lo abrazó por la espalda, Terry miraba por una de las ventanas que daba a la playa, veía a su hijo que estaba nadando – todo saldrá bien…– dijo Candy animándolo
- Es que no entiendo por qué se empeña en complicarnos la vida… ¿qué es lo que quiere? – dijo con enojo Ferry.
- Creo que no es fácil para ella tampoco… me imagino que también estará sufriendo… – fue lo que dijo Candy unos momentos después de un breve silencio por parte de los dos.
- ¿La compadeces? – volteó a mirarla, ayudándola a sentarse nuevamente – ¿la compadeces aún después de hacer más complicada nuestra vida?
- ¿Crees que es complicada nuestra vida? – le preguntó suavemente – para mi no ¿Qué importa si ella no te da el divorcio? ¿qué importa si no hay un papel de por medio que diga que somos marido y mujer? ¿Es que, acaso no te das cuenta que nuestro amor ha sido bendecido desde hace mucho?
- Candy… – dijo suavemente Terry y se arrodilló ante ella, tomó una de sus manos y la besó.
- Hace mucho que dejé de odiarla… hace tiempo que no vivo dependiendo del que dirán… si no, no hubiera podido ser feliz contigo este tiempo… ¡No necesitamos de un papel que nos permita estar juntos! Ante Dios tomamos nuestros votos… y esos no se pueden romper… somos felices…– lo miró con ansiedad y en sus verdes ojos se podía apreciar el brillo de la felicidad y sobre, todo la sinceridad que había en sus palabras
- Sabes… te admiro… no creo merecer a una mujer como tu…
- Creo que no necesitamos nada más para ser felices, además ¿que otra cosa podríamos recibir? Si Dios nos ha dado una gran recompensa… ¡tenemos tres hijos! ¡tenemos nuestro amor! – tomó su rostro y besó sus labios
- Candy… – a Terry se le quebró la voz y no ocultó la emoción que le embargaba lo que escuchaba, sus azules ojos derramaron lágrimas, aquel hombre que siempre se había mantenido fuerte, estaba quebrado por aquella mujer que le demostraba lo mucho que le amaba – te amo… jamás me cansaré de decirte lo mucho que te amo.
- Yo también te amo – limpió las lágrimas que habían cruzado por sus mejillas y le ofreció sus labios, los cuales Terry aprisionó.
Con un beso acallaron todos los temores, mientras el ocaso se vislumbraba en el horizonte, dejando tras de sí, la promesa de un futuro mejor, lleno de dichas, retos y esperanzas.
**PORTAL DE LAS ROSAS**
**NAVIDAD…**
- Mami, papá no llega – la voz infantil sacó a Candy de sus pensamientos
- No te apures amor… pronto llegará – respondió a su pequeño hijo, observándolo, conforme crecía el pequeño, más parecido tenía con su padre, Terrence Richard Granchester se llamaba, tenía cinco años y era la adoración tanto de sus padres como de sus hermanos mayores.
Aquella fecha la celebrarían en Lakewood, la familia había crecido enormemente, Patty contaba ya con dos niños que eran la adoración de ella y de Albert, Annie no había podido tener más hijos después de su niña que era una miniatura de ella en pequeña.
Kyle se titularía ese año como médico, además de contar ya con una linda novia, Dana también pronto obtendría su titulo de maestra y ya había hablado con sus padres de ir a enseñar al hogar de Pony, sabía que ahí se necesitaba la mayor ayuda posible.
Pronto se haría de noche, aquel día Terry alcanzaría a su familia en Lakewood, había tenido que viajar a en Nueva York, tras recibir una carta de su abogado donde le pedía con urgencia acudir, ya que era sobre el asunto de su divorcio.
Candy estaba preocupada, era la víspera de la navidad, esperaban con ansias que Terry llegara, sobre todo porque en aquellas fechas nunca habían estado separados.
De pronto sus verdes ojos se iluminaron al ver que llegaba un auto del cual bajó una persona, al identificarlo su corazón comenzó a palpitar más rápido y salió a recibirlo.
- ¡Papá! – el pequeño Richard se había adelantado ya.
- ¡Hola campeón! – contestó y lo cargó dándole un beso en la mejilla, pero su mirada se hizo más calida cuando vio parada en el quicio de la puerta de la casa la figura de Candy.
- Terry… – dijo ella suavemente
- Hola – llegó hasta ella, saludó y le dio un beso en los labios
- Pensé… – comenzó a decir ella.
- No te preocupes más, todo está bien… – le guiñó un ojo
La familia le dio la bienvenida, Dana y Kyle estaban contentos de que hubiera llegado al fin, sobre todo Candy, se sentía más tranquila.
La cena transcurrió amenamente, pronto llegó la hora de entregar los regalos, la familia recibió la navidad entregándose buenos deseos, Candy y Terry volvieron nuevamente a reforzar sus lazos de amor.
Pasada la celebración, pronto la casa estuvo a oscuras, la tranquilidad había llegado, estaba nevando de manera muy tenue, Candy y Terry estaban sentados en los escalones de aquella casa, igual que hacía unos años, después de haber acostado al pequeño Richard, quien estaba muy inquieto por la presencia de su padre ahora.
- ¿Recuerdas que hace años estuvimos sentados aquí? – le preguntó él, los dos se encontraban enfundados en abrigos y abrazados transmitiéndose su calor.
- Si… y parece que hubiera sido ayer
- Ven…– levantándose la haló de la mano y se dirigieron a aquel pequeño claro donde estaba la misma banca, la nieve caía sobre ellos, ahí, en el mismo lugar donde años antes se habían pronunciado unos votos de amor – aquí, hace años te hice un juramento el cual he tratado y trataré de cumplir toda la vida… – la besó en los labios – quiero hacerte feliz, quiero que nunca te arrepientas de estar conmigo… que nuestro amor lo conozca todo el mundo… que sepan que eres la mujer que amo…
- Pero lo soy, soy muy feliz al estar a tu lado y al de mis hijos…
- Por lo que ahora te pido que seas mi esposa…
- Lo soy, siempre lo he sido…
- No, espera… quiero que te cases conmigo.
Candy se quedó callada, abrió sus ojos, quizás no estaba entendiendo lo que Terry estaba diciendo.
- Eres tan bella… precisamente para eso fui a Nueva York, al fin ¿lo oyes? Al fin ¡SOY LIBRE!
- ¿Qué?
- ¡Si! ¿me escuchas? ¡soy libre! Pero, como no quiero esperar el tiempo de legalidad en estos casos, quiero que nos casemos en secreto, después, cuando sea el momento adecuado lo haremos público… ¿estás de acuerdo?
- … – Candy se había quedado muda
- Mira – al ver que ella no reaccionaba – el proceso de divorcio se había alargado tanto por todas las artimañas que los abogados de Susana interponían, pero mi abogado logró que nada de lo que hicieran pudiera perjudicar el avance, así que ayer por fin, dictaron sentencia y declararon disuelto mi matrimonio con Susana ¿entiendes?
- ¿Qué sucedió con Susana? ¿cómo lograste…?
- Llegamos a un arreglo – le explicó Terry – que le conviniera a ella – recordó el momento.
- _¡Jamás lo oyes! ¡jamás te daré el divorcio! – le gritaba Susana en la habitación de la casa donde prácticamente vivía con todo lo que necesitaba cerca._
- _No estás en condiciones de negármelo – contestó él con indiferencia._
- _¿Ah si? ¿cómo me obligarás? – le contestó con cinismo._
- _Creo que ya no tienes dinero para pagarles a tus abogados… – comenzó a decir – además requieres medicamentos muy caros… pagarle a una persona que venga a limpiar… – Susana comenzó a sentir frío pero no lo demostraba, él continuó mirándola con frialdad – te ofrezco depositarte en una cuenta una buena cantidad para que puedas mantener todos tus gastos… así como dejarte la casa… míralo de esta forma, sería un buen arreglo, no te faltaría nada…_
- _Si hay algo que me faltaría… – dijo con voz dura – y eres tú…_
_La carcajada de Terry no se había hecho esperar, inundando sus sentidos al grado casi de desquiciarla aun más._
- _Lo lamento… no me tuviste antes, no me tendrás nunca – dijo recobrando la compostura – tú tienes la última palabra… – y comenzó a alejarse hasta llegar a la puerta._
- _¡Espera! – le gritó Susana, Terry no volteó, ella habló – Está bien…_
_Lo demás fue cuestión de papeleo, se hizo un convenio el cual se ratificó ante la corte, pudiendo así dictarse una sentencia._
- Pero eso no importa… – comenzó a decir con emoción Candy mientras sus ojos dejaban escapar un par de lágrimas haciendo que Terry olvidara ese momento con Susana, luego le contaría los detalles con más calma – libre o no, dije que estaría contigo, que un papel no nos impedía amarnos y ser felices…
- Así es mi pequeña pecosa… pero ahora, esto viene a culminar todo… quiero que seas mi esposa… que tengas mi apellido… que seas completamente mía…
- Lo soy… siempre lo he sido… – lo besó en los labios, él correspondió con pasión – y sí, acepto casarme contigo – le sonrió.
- Doy gracias a Dios por todo lo que tengo… que al fin todas las mentiras en las que había vivido junto con mis hijos se han terminado y la verdad salió a flote… Te amo Candy y renuevo mi juramento que te hice una noche, hoy junto a estos rosales, con la nieve y el cielo de testigos… quiero decirte nuevamente que, prometo amarte y respetarte, cuidarte y hacerte feliz por toda la eternidad, aún después de que la muerte nos separe…
- Y yo a ti, te digo nuevamente, que prometo amarte y respetarte, cuidarte y hacerte siempre feliz por toda la eternidad, aún después de que la muerte nos separe…
La nieve seguía cayendo, cual si fuera una lluvia de estrellas, que se unían para adornar el derredor y ser testigos de aquel juramento, los copos cubrían sus cabellos, borrando para siempre los malos recuerdos a aquella mujer que había sufrido tantas desgracias en su vida, Candy y Terry estaban juntos, así como lo había decidido el destino desde el momento en que se vieron por primera vez, el futuro nadie lo sabía, pero se tenían el uno al otro para recorrerlo, unidos, mano con mano.
**_F I N_**
* * *
Hola
Como siempre, no resistí la tentación de hacer un EPILOGO, me gusta hacer finales así, seguir con un final feliz, esta vez quise hacer un final diferente con miras hacia un futuro, donde posiblemente se construirán otras historias, pero siempre con la esperanza de que ese amor perdure.
No saben cuántas gracias les doy por haber dado su atención a esta historia, a todas y cada una de las chicas de , realmente chicas, gracias aprecio todos los mensajes que me hicieron llegar a lo largo de este fic, me alegra tanto que les haya gustado… y darme sus comentarios, además de contar con sus ánimos para seguir adelante, espero haber cumplido las expectativas con esta historia.
Ahora es quiero contar algo, hace mucho tiempo que esta historia vio su luz y en ese momento alguien muy especial mi gran amiga y editora que me ayudó a sacarla adelante, y por tanto no tuve que cambiar algún párrafo o darle algún otro giro a esta historia, mi más grande reconocimiento a mi amiga **Lily Ramírez**.
Bueno creo que les digo gracias y espero que les haya gustado esta historia, y la hayan vivido así como lo hice yo.
Gracias por sus correos.
Lizette.
End file.
| fanfiction |
the family of mps one binder proteins ( mobs ) is highly conserved in eukaryotes .
mobs represent signal transducers in essential intracellular signaling pathways through their regulatory interactions with serine / threonine protein kinases of the ndr / lats family [ 13 ] . in budding and fission yeast , mob1p and mob2p are crucial for mitotic exit and cell morphogenesis as regulators of the yeast ndr / lats
kinases dbf2p , cbk1p , sid2p and orb6p , respectively [ 46 ] . in drosophila ,
three different mob proteins are expressed by independent genes , with dmob1 ( aka mats ) functioning as a core component of the hippo tumor suppressor pathway as regulator of the fly lats kinase warts [ 79 ] .
drosophila mob2 ( dmob2 ) contributes to neuromuscular junction and photoreceptor morphology and the biological function(s ) of dmob3 is currently unknown , although all three dmobs can genetically interact with the fly ndr kinase tricornered .
mammalian genomes contain at least six different mob genes termed mob1a , mob1b , mob2 , mob3a , mob3b and mob3c .
mob1a / b likewise to dmob1 functions as a regulator of lats kinases in mammalian hippo signaling , although current evidence proposes that the interaction of mob1 with ndr kinases is likely to also play a role in hippo signaling .
in contrast to mob1 , mob2 interacts specifically with ndr , but not with lats kinases in mammalian cells [ 1315 ] .
mob3a / b / c neither form a complex with ndr nor lats kinases , but instead associate with the pro - apoptotic kinase mst1 ( aka stk4 ) .
taken together , throughout the eukaryotic kingdom mobs can play diverse roles as regulators of members of the ndr / lats kinase family and apparently also other protein kinases in specific settings . in this article
we will focus on discussing recent discoveries regarding roles of endogenous mob2 in cell cycle progression and the dna damage response ( ddr ) in the context ndr kinase signaling .
up to recently , mammalian ndr kinases were the only reported binding partners of mob2 .
more precisely , biochemical experiments showed that mob2 competes with mob1 for ndr binding , with the mob1/ndr complex corresponding to increased ndr kinase activity and the mob2/ndr complex being associated with diminished ndr activity . in other words ,
mob2 binding to ndr can block the activation of ndr kinases . however , the biological significance of mob2/ndr complex formation is currently unknown .
actually , no clearly defined physiologically relevant functions of endogenous mob2 were known until recently .
intriguingly , a genome wide screen for novel putative ddr factors identified mob2 ( also termed hcca2 and hmob3 ) as one of many potential candidates . considering that the ddr is essential to maintain genome stability and functions as a barrier for ageing and tumorigenesis , we investigated whether mob2 is indeed a ddr protein .
intriguingly , we initially found that mob2 knockdown , but not mob2 overexpression , caused a cell proliferation defect associated with a g1/s cell cycle arrest in untransformed human cells . by profiling an array of cell cycle markers we discovered that mob2-depleted cells displayed a significant activation of the p53 and p21/cip1 cell cycle regulators , which was functionally relevant , since co - knockdown of p53 or p21 together with mob2 did not result in the activation of the g1/s cell cycle checkpoint , consequently restoring cell proliferation
once we had established that mob2 knockdown causes the activation of a p53/p21-dependent g1/s cell cycle checkpoint , we wondered how this activation occurred . considering that endogenous mob2 is potentially linked to the ddr and that activation of the p53/p21 pathway can occur upon activation of ddr signaling [ 2022 ] , we studied the levels of ddr signaling and endogenous dna damage in mob2-depleted cells .
these investigations revealed that mob2 knockdown causes the accumulation of dna damage , and consequently activation of the ddr kinases atm and chk2 , in the absence of exogenously induced dna damage .
next , we aimed to consolidate these findings by studying the response of mob2 knockdown cells to exogenously induced dna damage .
this showed that endogenous mob2 is needed to promote cell survival and g1/s cell cycle arrest upon exposure to dna damaging agents such as ionizing radiation ( ir ) or the topoisomerase ii poison doxorubicin .
moreover , we discovered that mob2 is required to support ir - induced ddr signaling through the ddr kinase atm . collectively , these observations uncovered endogenous mob2 as a novel ddr factor that plays a role in ddr signaling , cell survival and cell cycle checkpoints upon exposure to dna damage .
however , we still had not understood how mob2 may function as ddr protein on a molecular level . in this
regard , using a yeast two - hybrid screen we had identified rad50 as a novel binding partner of mob2 , which potentially was important , since rad50 is a central component of the essential mre11-rad50-nbs1 ( mrn ) dna damage sensor complex , which in turn is crucial for the sequestering / activation of the ddr kinase atm at dna lesions [ 2325 ]
. therefore , we examined this potential interaction in more detail , revealing that mob2/rad50 complex formation can be detected using exogenous and endogenous proteins .
moreover , we found that mob2 supports the recruitment of mrn and activated atm to dna damaged chromatin , suggesting that mob2-depleted cells display a defective ddr due to impaired functionality of the mrn .
although we could map the binding sites of mob2 on rad50 to two functionally relevant domains of rad50 , we did not succeed in identifying mob2 variants carrying single point mutations that block mob2/rad50 complex formation [ gomez v and hergovich a , unpublished observation ] , which would have enabled us to investigate the functional significance of the mob2/rad50 interaction in more detail .
therefore , our study could not conclusively establish that the interaction of mob2 with rad50 is functionally essential for the roles of mob2 in ddr signaling , cell survival and cell cycle checkpoints upon exposure to dna damage . in this regard , it is noteworthy that in the genome wide screen performed by elledge et al
. the knockdown of mrn components did not result in ddr defects ( as judged by sensitivity to mitomycin c and a defective g2/m dna damage checkpoint ) as observed in mob2-depleted transformed human cells .
thus , the link of mob2 to the mrn does not appear to be relevant in all ddr settings , suggesting that additional mechanisms should be considered .
in general , we have only begun to appreciate the cell biological functions of endogenous mob2 in processes that are relevant to human health and disease . in particular regarding the link of mob2 with the ddr , quite a few key questions are yet to be understood .
for example , we have yet to comprehend which types of dna damage repair mechanism(s ) is dependent on normal mob2 levels . maybe the expression / localization status of mob2 has the potential to be clinically exploited for the prediction and/or prognosis of responses to dna damaging agents ( i.e. radiotherapy , dna damaging chemotherapeutics , targeted ddr inhibition , and others ) .
furthermore , we have yet to obtain a clear mechanistic understanding of how mob2 can function as a ddr protein and how mob2 is regulated in a context - dependent manner .
nevertheless , our previous biochemical characterization of mob2 in complex with the ndr1/2 kinases may be of help to lead some of the way .
however , based on our own experiments we already speculated that mob2 apparently functions as cell cycle / ddr regulator independently of ndr1/2 kinase signaling .
more specifically , we observed that knockdown of ndr1 ( aka stk38 ) or ndr2 ( stk38l ) in untransformed human cells did not trigger a p53/p21-dependent g1/s cell cycle arrest as observed in mob2-depleted cells .
overexpression of hyperactive ndr1-pif also did not cause an obvious cell cycle / proliferation defect .
however , we believe that further investigations are still required to completely rule out that ndr1/2 signaling is not linked to cell cycle / ddr processes through mob2 , since different reports have recently linked the ndr1/2 kinases to cell cycle and ddr signaling .
in addition , compensatory mechanisms may occur upon selective ndr1 or ndr2 manipulations . in mammals ,
the ndr1/2 protein kinases have been linked to cell biological processes such as cell cycle progression , the ddr , apoptosis , stress signaling and autophagy , with important roles in embryogenesis , immunology and neurobiology .
as mentioned above , in particular the connections of ndr1/2 with the cell cycle and ddr are intriguing with respect to mob2 ( figure 1 ) .
on the one hand , ndr1/2 are linked to the regulation of g1/s cell cycle progression by controlling protein levels of c - myc and p21/cip1 [ 2932 ] .
the role of ndr1/2 in the g1/s cell cycle progression is further supported by cyclin d1 and can have a role in opposing a tgf-mediated cell cycle arrest .
thus , various tissue culture cell experiments support the notion that ndr1/2 can play diverse roles in the regulation of cell cycle progression . on the other hand ,
ndr1 possibly has a function in nucleotide excision repair , a specific type of dna damage repair .
in addition , ndr1 potentially is involved in the dna damage induced g2/m cell cycle checkpoint by phosphorylating the cdc25a phosphatase , although this phosphorylation of cdc25a is also mediated by the ddr kinase chk1 , hence warranting future investigations into this possible link of ndr1 and the dna damage induced g2/m cell cycle checkpoint . taken together , current evidence suggests that the ndr1/2 kinase pathway is linked to the regulation of certain aspects of cell cycle progression and signal transduction in response to dna damage ( figure 1 ) .
nevertheless , in spite of the involvement of ndr1/2 in the cell cycle and ddr in a similar fashion as observed for mob2 , it is currently unknown whether the mob2 and ndr1/2 pathways are functionally connected , as suggested by our recent biochemical evidence . in this regard
, mob2 may act upstream of ndr1/2 by functioning as inhibitor of mob1-mediated ndr1/2 signaling .
however , simply based on our current lack of evidence , we should not exclude the possibility that ndr1/2 may play a role upstream of mob2 , in which case it would be very informative to understand the involvement of the ndr1/2 kinase activity , in addition to the regulation of mob2 by ndr1/2 ( or vice versa ) through direct protein - protein interactions . in this regard
, experimenters should also keep in mind that single ndr1 or ndr2 knockdown compared to co - depletion of ndr1 and ndr2 may result in different phenotypes due to possible compensatory mechanisms .
more specifically , we found that single ndr1 or ndr2 knockout mice are viable and fertile due to compensatory tissue specific up regulation of ndr2 or ndr1 , respectively . in contrast
these findings collectively suggest that ndr1 and ndr2 can compensate for each other in a context- and tissue - specific fashion . in case mob2 functions negatively upstream of ndr1/2 in ddr signaling , one would expect that mob2 knockdown or hyperactivation of ndr1/2 result in similar phenotypes , which does not seem to be the case . if ndr1/2 were to act upstream of mob2 in ddr signaling , one would predict that positive regulators of ndr1/2 , such as mob1 , may also contribute to the ddr .
interestingly , this seems to be the case , since mob1a or mob1b knockdown appears to be sufficient to cause spontaneous dna double - strand break formation in human cells , proposing that the regulation of ndr1/2 by mob1 might also play a role in the ddr .
however , whether ndr1/2 can function upstream of mob2 in cell cycle and/or ddr signaling is yet to be established experimentally .
the possible involvement of mob1 in ndr1/2-mob2 signaling is also of purely speculative nature at the moment , in particular when considering that mob1 can associate with different kinases of the hippo core cassette such as lats1/2 and mst1/2 . in this context
, we also would like to emphasis the fact that currently the molecular ( structural ) regulation of ndr1/2 kinases by mob1 vs. mob2 is incompletely understood .
possibly , mob2 is part of positive and/or negative feedback loops that serve to amplify and/or dampen cell cycle and/or ddr signaling , respectively .
certainly , these speculative points illustrate the need for more intensified experimental efforts to understand mob2 as a novel ddr protein on the structural , molecular , cellular and organismal level in the context of human biology in health and disease . | pubmed |
research interest in the origins of the long - range bidirectional movement of particles ( organelles , vesicles , nutrients ) driven by molecular motors is motivated by fundamental questions concerning the nature of interactions between motors and their cargos as transport processes take place .
a current explanation for the phenomenon relies on the idea that motors of different polarities act coordinately on the same particle at different times . if , however , they act in parallel , the bidirectional movement would reflect dominance of one or another kind of motor achieved by a _ tug - of - war _ mechanism @xcite , @xcite , @xcite , @xcite , @xcite . an important question that remains in this context concerns the mechanisms that would promote such coordination @xcite .
alternatives to the coordination or _ tug - of - war _ models in the literature arise from the possibility of attributing the phenomenon to a dynamic role of the microtubules @xcite or to a mechanical coupling between different motors @xcite .
a general difficulty encountered within any of these views is related to the presence of other particles ( including other motors ) on the microtubule at a given time that are not directly involved with the transfer process .
these other particles are expected to impose restrictions on motility and performance of the motors that are directly interacting with cargo at that time @xcite .
contrarily to these expectations , however , data from observations of beads driven by kinesins in steady - state conditions indicate that the number of long length runs of such beads increases significantly as the density of motors at the microtubule increases , although their velocities remain essentially unaltered within a wide range of motor concentrations @xcite , @xcite .
thus , the reality of traffic jam in crowded microtubules still challenges the current view of long - range cargo transport that presupposes an effective and controllable movement of the motor(s ) arranged into a motor - cargo complex .
this , of course , requires a certain degree of stability of motor - cargo interactions and motor processivity .
our intention here is to discuss these problems from a different perspective by bringing into this scenario the model introduced in @xcite to examine cargo transport as a _ hopping _ process .
according to that , motors and cargos would not assemble into complexes to put transport into effect . on the contrary , each motor would function as an active overpass for cargo to step over to a neighboring motor . in this case , the long - range movement of cargo is envisaged as a sequence of these elementary ( short - range ) steps either forwards or backwards . in @xcite we examined the conditions under which this may happen , accounting for the fact that motor motility is affected by the interactions with other motors and with cargos on the microtubule .
there , we considered the presence of a collection of interacting motors , all of them presenting the same polarity ( kinesins may be thought of as prototypes ) and a single cargo . here , we examine whether it is possible to explain in a similar context the origin of the observed bidirectional movement displayed by cargos .
the particular mechanism we propose to substantiate the hopping differs from that suggested in @xcite .
it keeps , however , the same general ideas of the original .
as it will be explained below , we view the hopping of cargo between motors as an effect of thermal fluctuations undergone by motor tails .
the flexibility of the tails may promote contact and , eventually , exchange of cargo between neighboring motors . as in @xcite ,
the model dynamics is mapped into an asymmetric simple exclusion process ( asep ) @xcite , @xcite , @xcite whose stationary properties are resolved explicitly in the limit of very large systems .
other asep models have already been considered in the literature to study the conditions for motor jamming in the absence of cargo @xcite , @xcite , @xcite .
our model is conceived to account explicitly for changes in the dynamics of the motors that at a certain instant of time are interacting with cargos .
the model is reviewed here in order to include a second cargo in the system , still keeping the presence of motors of a single polarity .
we believe that this approaches more realistic situations in which the simultaneous presence of many cargos and motors on the same microtubule must be the prevailing situation @xcite .
we show that under these conditions , a cargo may be able to execute long - range bidirectional movement as it moves over clusters of motors assembled either at its back end or at the back end of the cargo in front .
one may recognize in this a possibility for explaining the origins of self - regulation in intracellular transport since it has been suggested in the last few years that signaling pathways involved in intracellular traffic regulation can be performed simply by the presence of cargos at the microtubule @xcite .
we then speculate that the passage of cargos on microtubules does not get blocked by motor jamming . on the contrary ,
jamming operates as an allied process to promote long runs of cargos across motor clusters . in this case , the density of motors on the microtubule can be identified as an element of control in intracellular transport since it directly affects the conditions for jamming .
it is worth mentioning that the model developed here does not rule out other possibilities , such as the _ tug - of - war _ or competition models .
what we suggest is that the presence of motors of different polarities may not be essential to explain the origin of the bidirectional movement .
the hopping mechanism is presented in sec.2 .
the kinetic properties of the extended version are developed in sec.3 , considering the presence of two cargos .
in sec.4 we present our results .
additional remarks and conclusions are in sec.5 .
the stochastic model in @xcite formulated in a lattice describes the dynamics of motors and cargos accounting for ( i ) steric interactions among different particles moving on the same microtubule ; ( ii ) the presence of motors of a single polarity ; ( iii ) the fact that cargos do not move if not driven by motors .
the crucial point is in item ( iii ) because it requires a specific model for motor - cargo dynamics as transportation takes place .
we offer here a slightly different view from that in @xcite keeping however the reliance on the ability of motors to transfer cargo .
one way by which this may be achieved is sketched in _ figure ( 1)_. the stepping of cargo would be accomplished as it is released from a motor to which it is attached at a certain instant of time and then get attached to another ( neighboring ) motor either at the left or at the right
see _ figure ( 1a)_. this process , like the one discussed in @xcite , relies strongly on the flexibility of the motor 's tail .
the idea was inspired by experimental results suggesting a dynamic role of the kinesin 's coiled - coil segment in the process @xcite , @xcite and also by data indicating that under load , kinesin motors display an oscillatory movement @xcite @xcite . here , we think of these oscillations as signaling fluctuations in the position of motor 's tail , not necessarily being correlated with displacement of its center of mass .
if this is the case , such oscillations would promote contact between neighboring motors favoring cargo exchange .
accordingly , long - range displacements of cargo would reflect a hopping process extended over many neighboring motors which may be accomplished if these motors get jammed into clusters for sufficient long periods of time.notice that the whole mechanism does not require special stability of cargo - motor binding . on the contrary , the transfer of cargo by a motor would be ease by a loose attachment between them . the model in @xcite
was resolved explicitly considering the presence of a single cargo in the system .
the averages for the quantities of interest were determined in steady - state conditions .
we showed there that the long - range displacements of the cargo would occur predominantly in the backwards direction , i.e. in opposition to the direction of the movement of the considered motors .
we shall show here that the same dynamics may lead cargo to display bidirectional movement if the system contains at least one more cargo interfering with the movement of the motors . to examine the properties of the system containing two cargos and an arbitrary number of motors
, we map it into the same asep as in goldman1 whose dynamics can also reproduce the scheme in _ figure(1)_. we consider a one - dimensional lattice with @xmath0 sites , representing the microtubule with periodic boundary conditions .
this system contains @xmath1 motors and a number @xmath2 of other particles - the cargos - that interact with motors in order to move .
each site can be occupied by a motor or by a motor attached to a cargo _ ( see fig.1(a ) ) _ , otherwise it is empty .
the total number of sites that remain unoccupied is @xmath3 . here
, we analyze the long - time behavior of this system for @xmath4 and determine the average cargo velocity as a function of the parameters .
the results indicate conditions for cargos to perform a type of long - range movement that share the characteristics of the observed bidirectional movement . the map of the dynamics shown in _
figure.1 _ into the considered asep is carried out as follows .
_ _ _ _ first , each site is identified by its position @xmath5 at the lattice .
then , to each of these sites is associated a variable @xmath6 that assumes integer values @xmath7 or @xmath8 such that @xmath9 if the site @xmath10 is empty , @xmath11 if it is occupied by a motor ; or @xmath12 if it is occupied by a motor attached to a cargo . with these
, a configuration @xmath13 of the lattice is specified by the set @xmath14 @xmath15 the dynamics of the asep that reproduces the elementary steps in _
fig.1 _ can now be defined . for this , consider that at each time interval @xmath16 a pair of consecutive sites , say @xmath10 and @xmath17 are selected at random .
the occupancy of these two sites is then switched according to the following rules @xmath18where the pair @xmath19 is represented by the values of the corresponding site variables @xmath20the parameters @xmath21 and @xmath22 are the assigned probabilities per unit time ( rates ) for occurrence of the processes indicated .
process @xmath23 describes the possibility for a motor ( kinesin ) that carries no cargo to step forward to a neighboring empty site _ ( figure 1b)_. processes @xmath24 and @xmath25 account for the switching of the cargo between two neighboring motors .
this accounts either for backward @xmath24 or for forward steps
notice that the dynamics conserves the number of particles of type-1 as well as those of type-2 . in order to investigate the long - time dynamics of a cargo resulting from these elementary steps we use the _ matrix _ _ ansatz _ introduced by derrida @xcite , @xcite .
the idea is to represent the probability @xmath26 of a configuration @xmath13 of the system with @xmath1 sites and @xmath0 particles of type-1 as a trace over a product of @xmath1 non - commuting matrices , each specifying the corresponding site occupancy:@xmath27where @xmath28is the normalization .
the sum runs over all configurations for which @xmath29 and @xmath30 . in this product , a site @xmath31
is represented by a matrix @xmath32 if it is occupied by a motor ( @xmath33 ) or by a matrix @xmath34 if occupied by a motor with a cargo ( @xmath35 ) ; if the site is empty it is represented by a matrix @xmath36 ( @xmath37 ) . in order to calculate averages over these configurations in the stationary state ,
it is necessary at first to find the _ algebra _ that must be satisfied by these matrices such that the probabilities defined in ( [ prob do estado ] ) satisfy the stationary conditions @xcite , @xmath38 where the sum extends over all configurations of @xmath0 motors distributed over @xmath39 lattice sites .
observe that the nonzero terms on the lhs of the above equation are those for which configurations @xmath13 and @xmath40 differ from each other at most by the positions of a pair of consecutive sites , which can be reversed by any of the elementary processes defined by the dynamics in ( [ dinamica ] ) . in this case , each factor @xmath41 ( or @xmath42 ) must be replaced by the rate @xmath43 , @xmath44 or @xmath22 for the corresponding elementary process that brings @xmath13 back from @xmath40 ( or @xmath40 from @xmath13 ) .
the algebra corresponding to the asep defined by the dynamics ( [ dinamica ] ) has been presented in ( @xcite ) for @xmath45 @xmath46 with @xmath47here , we shall use this same algebra to evaluate the traces over products of matrices @xmath48 @xmath34 and @xmath36 that appear in calculating averages over the quantities that characterize the movement of a cargo . before proceeding , however , a few remarks are in order .
the model with two cargos is not ergodic .
the dynamics preserves the number of empty spaces in each of the two partitions defined by the initial positions of the two cargos in the system with periodic boundary conditions . in this case , all configurations @xmath13 and @xmath49 that satisfy equation ( [ mestra ] ) must share the number of empty spaces in each of the partitions .
moreover , configurations in which the empty spaces are all concentrated in one of the two partitions must be excluded , for these do not satisfy ( [ mestra ] ) with the algebra ( [ algebra ] ) .
we treat the initial conditions ( _ ic _ ) , namely the number of empty spaces - @xmath50 in one of the partitions and @xmath51 in the other , as _ random variables_. this artifact shall account for the uncertainty one has in experimental data regarding the relative positions of the particles , and also for effects of random processes that are not explicitly described by the present model such as motor binding and unbinding at the microtubule . for computing averages , we shall account first for all possible configurations at fixed @xmath50 and then average the results over @xmath50 .
the procedure is further specified observing that ( a ) because there is no reason to favor any initial configuration , we may consider that @xmath50 is uniformly distributed and ( b ) in analogy with a situation of equilibrium , we take the average _ annealing _ as the averages over particle configurations are performed in parallel with average over @xmath52 the measure @xmath53 of a configuration @xmath54 of a _
subset_-@xmath50 is written as the trace over a product of matrices @xmath55 and @xmath36 that satisfy the algebra in ( [ algebra ] ) : @xmath56 in the expression above , each @xmath57 is a binary variable such that @xmath58 @xmath59 and @xmath60 satisfying @xmath61 the normalization @xmath62is conveniently expressed in terms of the weights @xmath63 .
these are defined as the sum over the traces corresponding to the configurations that belong to the subset @xmath50 for which the occupation of the sites ...
@xmath64 ... and ... @xmath65 ... in the _
n - tuples _ are _ _ _ _ fixed and _ _ _ _ specified by the values of the corresponding site variables @xmath66 and @xmath67 respectively .
the @xmath53 defined above must satisfy the stationary conditions @xmath68where the sum extends over all configurations @xmath69 that belong to the subset @xmath50 .
the transition rates @xmath70 lead configurations @xmath69 into configurations @xmath54 . consistently with the above definitions we represent the average value@xmath71 of the velocity of any of the two cargos at fixed @xmath50 as @xmath72the configurations associated with @xmath73 are such that the specified cargo has one motor at its right side that allows it to move one step to the right at a rate @xmath22 .
similarly , in the configurations associated to @xmath74 there is a motor at the left side of this cargo that allows it to move one step to the left at rate @xmath43 . in both types of configurations the neighborhood of the other cargo is not specified
. it shall be convenient to subdivide the above sum into sums over configurations having the same trace .
this is achieved by specifying in ( vmedio(a)2h ) the occupation of the sites that precede both cargos .
for this , @xmath75 is rewritten as @xmath76 \right .
\notag \\ & & \left . -w\left [ w_{\left ( 12\right ) -\left ( 12\right ) } ^{(h)}+w_{\left ( 12\right ) -\left ( 02\right ) } ^{(h)}\right ] \right\ } \label{vmedio(b)2h}\end{aligned}\ ] ] to proceed in the evaluation of ( [ vmedio(b)2h ] ) it is also convenient to replace the site variables @xmath77 by block variables @xmath78 and @xmath79 @xmath80 , that assume integer values to represent , respectively , sequences of motors and empty sites in a configuration @xmath81 with these , the sum over configurations that contribute to @xmath82 for example , can be expressed as @xmath83with @xmath84 . here , @xmath85
@xmath86or @xmath87 indicates a product of @xmath88 @xmath86or @xmath89 matrices @xmath32 @xmath86or @xmath90 .
the symbol on the summation signals indicates that these are restricted to the configurations that satisfy the constraints in ( [ vinculo ] ) for @xmath91 .
all the traces in the rhs of ( [ vmedio(b)2h ] ) can now be reduced with the aid of the algebra in ( [ algebra ] ) . for this
, we use the identity @xmath92that also follows directly from ( [ algebra ] ) @xcite .
the results are quoted as follows@xmath93 the above expressions are independent of @xmath50 .
the only dependence on @xmath50 in the evaluation of the weights comes from the multiplicity of the configurations .
configurations for which @xmath50 * * * * @xmath94 * * or * * @xmath95 * * * * contribute with a factor @xmath96 with respect to the contributions from all other configurations that result in the same trace .
we now take the average of @xmath75 over all realizations of @xmath50 that assumes an integer value within the interval @xmath97 $ ] for @xmath98 , with equal probability .
this is performed here as@xmath99that corresponds to the average _ annealing _ in analogy to a situation of equilibrium .
the averaged quantities are indicated by the bars over the corresponding symbols representing the weights @xmath100 and normalization @xmath101 .
now , observe that because the traces do not depend on @xmath50 , then the sums in the above expression , both in the numerator and in the denominator , account for all possible configurations of arbitrary sequences of empty and occupied sites , keeping fixed just the _ n - tuples _ indicated in each term . with this
, the restrictions imposed on the sums in ( [ tracos tabela1 ] ) are removed .
we estimate the number of configurations that contribute to @xmath102 for a given _ n - tuple _ @xmath103 by fixing the relative position of the cargos @xmath104 and counting for all possible sequences of @xmath105 and @xmath106 .
we then sum over @xmath104 observing the invariance of the trace under cyclic transformations .
the results are compiled below .
@xmath107 tr(e ) \\ & & & \\
( d ) & \overline{w}_{(021)-(12 ) } & \simeq & \displaystyle\sum\limits_{m_{i}=1}^{m-2}\dbinom{n - m_{i}-5}{m - m_{i}-1}\left [ ( n - m_{i}-4)x^{m_{i}}\right ] tr(e ) \\ & & & \\ ( e ) & \overline{w}_{(121)-(02 ) } & \simeq & \displaystyle\sum\limits_{m_{i}=1}^{m-1}\dbinom{n - m_{i}-5}{m - m_{i}-1}\left [ ( n - m_{i}-4)x^{m_{i}}\right ] tr(e ) \\ & & & \\
( f ) & \overline{w}_{(021)-(02 ) } & \simeq & \dbinom{n-5}{m-1}\left [ ( n-4)\right ] tr(e ) \\ & & & \\ ( g ) & \overline{w}_{(02)-(02 ) } & \simeq & \frac{1}{2}\dbinom{n-4}{m}tr(e)\end{array } \label{config}\ ] ] .... .... variables @xmath88 and @xmath108 indicate the number of possible consecutive motors at the left of the cargos in each of these configurations contributing to a given @xmath109 .
the sums over @xmath88 and @xmath108 are estimated here in the limit of very large systems for which @xmath110 and @xmath111 keeping the motor density @xmath112 finite within the range @xmath113 in this limit , the sums converge to integrals and these integrals can be evaluated using laplace 's asymptotic method .
consider , for instance , the sum @xmath23 in ( [ config ] ) .
we use stirling 's formula @xmath114 to approximate the factorials involving the variables @xmath1 and @xmath0 and define the new variables marchetti @xmath115 @xmath116 and @xmath117 assume continuous values in this limit so that the referred sum converges to the integral @xmath118the function @xmath119 in the expression above depends only on the sum @xmath120 @xmath121\ln [ 1-\left ( y+z\right ) ] -[\rho -\left ( y+z\right ) ] \ln [ \rho -\left ( y+z\right ) ] .
\label{h}\ ] ] thus , by defining @xmath122 ( [ w1212 - 1 ] ) can be rewritten as @xmath123where@xmath124 in order to apply laplace 's method for estimating the above integral , it is convenient to change the order of the integration observing that @xmath125with this change , the integral in @xmath117 becomes trivial and the double integral in ( [ somaw12 - 12 ( 3 ) ] ) reduces to @xmath126which can be estimated by its maximum at large @xmath1 .
for this , notice that @xmath127 has a maximum at@xmath128thus , if @xmath129 the condition @xmath130 can not be satisfied and the maximum contribution to the integral in ( [ if2 ] ) comes from the extremum of the interval at @xmath131 which is a local maximum .
the result is @xcite , @xmath132 \frac{1}{n^{2}}\frac{1}{\sqrt{\rho } } \frac{\exp [ -n\rho \ln \rho ] } { \left [ \ln ( x\rho ) \right ] ^{2}}. \label{if2 estimativa a e c}\]]if however , @xmath133 then @xmath134 is localized inside the integration interval so that the integral in ( [ if2 ] ) is estimated as @xcite @xmath135 \frac{(x-1)^{2}}{\left ( x\right ) ^{3/2}}\frac{1}{(1-\rho ) ^{5/2}}\frac{(1-x\rho ) } { 1-x}\sqrt{\frac{2\pi } { n}}\exp \left\ { n\left [ \ln x-(1-\rho ) \ln \tfrac{(x-1)}{(1-\rho ) } \right ] \right\ } .
\label{if2 estimativa b}\ ] ] we use this same procedure to estimate all the remaining terms in expression ( [ < v(2 ) > ] ) .
we merely quote the results below , making some extra comments when necessary . for estimating the sum indicated as @xmath24 in ( [ config ] ) we notice that the difference @xmath136 between the expression in the rhs of @xmath24 and the sum in @xmath23 is@xmath137applying laplace 's method to the resulting integrals after taking the thermodynamic limit
, it gives @xmath138 \notag \\ & & \times \left\ { \begin{array}{l } \dfrac{1}{n^{2}}\dfrac{1}{\sqrt{\rho } } \dfrac{\exp \left ( -n\rho \ln \rho \right ) } { \left ( \ln x\rho \right ) ^{2}},\quad \qquad x\rho < 1 \\ \text{or } \\ \dfrac{-\sqrt{\rho } } { \left ( x\right ) ^{5/2}}(1-x\rho )
\dfrac{(1-x)^{2}}{(1-\rho ) ^{7/2}}\sqrt{\dfrac{2\pi } { n}}\exp \left\ { n\left [ \ln x-(1-\rho ) \ln \tfrac{(x-1)}{(1-\rho ) } \right ] \right\ } , \text { } \\
\hspace{2.5in}\text{\quad\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ } x\rho > 1\ \hspace{0.1in}\text { } \end{array}\right.\end{aligned}\ ] ] the sum over configurations that contribute to @xmath139 in ( [ config ] ) - @xmath25 is estimated through the asymptotic behavior of a single integral , which gives@xmath140 \right\ } \sqrt{\dfrac{2\pi } { n}},\qquad \text { } x\rho > 1\ \end{array}\right .
\notag\end{aligned}\ ] ] analogous procedures are used to estimate the sums over configurations of the kind @xmath141 and @xmath142 in ( [ config ] ) - @xmath143 and @xmath144which coincide in this limit : @xmath145 \right\ } \sqrt{\dfrac{2\pi } { n}},\quad x\rho > 1\end{array}\right .
\notag\end{aligned}\ ] ] for the remaining sums indicated in ( [ config ] ) - @xmath146 and @xmath147 it is sufficient to estimate the relevant contributions to @xmath148 which are @xmath149 } \label{w02 - 02 comb(1)}\]]and @xmath150 } \label{somaw021 - 02 ( 0)}\ ] ] in the following , we analyze the results for the average velocity of a cargo obtained in this limit using the estimates above .
the average velocity of a cargo in the system of interacting motors and cargos that obey the asep dynamics set in ( [ dinamica ] ) can now be analyzed observing the differences in the expressions obtained above for the integrals in each of the asymptotic regions limited by the range of the product @xmath151 of the two variables @xmath152 and @xmath153 such differences lead to distinct behaviors for @xmath154 characterizing different phases of the system that , in turn , reflect the differences in the distribution of motors along the considered microtubule .
a a fixed value of @xmath155 such that @xmath156 and for @xmath157 @xmath154 is obtained from the behavior of the integrals for @xmath158 resulting in@xmath159 -p(1-\rho ) } { 1 + 4\left\vert \ln \rho x\right\vert + \left [ \ln \rho x\right ] ^{2 } } \label{<v(2)>(a)}\ ] ] within the complementary region in which @xmath160 @xmath154 is determined from the behavior of the integrals for @xmath161 we find @xmath162 notice that for any @xmath163 the condition ( a ) @xmath164 is always satisfied so that the results for @xmath154 are given in this case by ( [ < v(2)>(a ) ] ) within the entire interval @xmath113 thus , for small values of @xmath155 the system does not exhibits phase transitions .
the behavior of @xmath154 is shown in _
fig.2 _ for the whole range of motor density @xmath152 , at fixed @xmath165 and @xmath166 and at various values of @xmath155 ( x ) .
we notice in these results that for varying @xmath152 and for @xmath155 slightly above @xmath167 the average velocity of the cargo changes sign .
this means that at steady state , which may be achieved at sufficiently short times after an eventual change in motor density at the microtubule , cargos may adjust and change their direction of propagation moving across motor clusters .
the mechanism for cargo transfer envisaged here is equivalent to a hopping process in which the associated rates depend on site occupation .
because motors move and their movement is affected by the presence of the cargos and all other motors on the microtubule , the long - time dynamics of the system must be examined globally .
our results indicate that the existence of mutual interactions and the fact that many cargos are allowed to coexist at the microtubule are determinant for reproducing in this context the characteristics of the bidirectional movement . we show that within a certain range of motor density a cargo in this system executes long - range displacements in both directions .
we may argue then that long - range cargo transfer is facilitated by traffic and specifically , by the assembly of motors into clusters , which characterizes traffic jam .
the presence of the other cargos in the system is essential for this to occur as they function as additional obstacles that interfere in the motor density profile .
each cargo induces aggregation of motors at its back end . in turn , this provides the conditions for cargo to execute long - range displacements either backwards , over the aggregate assembled at its back end , as well as forwards , over the aggregate assembled at the back end of the cargo in front .
as it was originally formulated the model does not account for the possibility that a motor with one or more attached cargos may move as well .
in fact , this is the only mechanism that is usually employed to describe cargo transport and it is the basis for _ coordination _ or _ tug - of - war _ models .
also , for simplicity we have considered interactions of a cargo with a single motor at a time . should a set of motors be allowed to interact with the cargo to participate in the transfer process then the map into the asep would need to be modified accordingly .
we are currently working on these possibilities by including into the dynamics ( [ dinamica ] ) a process of the kind @xmath168 that recovers ergodicity of the model @xcite we should emphasize that the occurrence of the long - range bidirectional movement as a consequence of the hopping processes devised here may happen by the action of motors of just one kind possessing a well defined polarity .
changes in motor density and related traffic profile suffice as a mechanism to control cargo direction and the size of the runs determined essentially by the extent of motor clusters at jamming conditions .
this offers a rather straightforward explanation for the data mentioned above suggesting that the number of long run - lengths performed by the observed beads increases significantly as the density of motors at the microtubule increases beeg .
in addition , the results presented here indicate that , for sufficiently high values of the motor density for which @xmath169 at the point where the model displays a phase transition , cargos would perform a uniform movement ( on average ) since their velocities become independent of @xmath170 such behavior has also been observed in the same set of experiments .
as noticed by ma and chisholm @xcite , `` little is known regarding motor traffic and how it correlates with the movement of cargo '' . here ,
we offer a possibility based on the idea that the transport does not require the action of an external agent to coordinate the process , or a _ tug - of - war _ mechanism or even the existence of a mechanical coupling between two kinds of motors as proposed more recently @xcite .
instead , it suggests that such coordination can be achieved by collective effects on the course of the dynamics as the system `` self - organizes '' so that it presents characteristics that reflect an internal ( and global ) order that does not have its origin in the characteristics of the external medium .
it is then possible that the necessary transport in cells is accomplished just by adjusting the density of motors at the microtubule .
accordingly , the presence of processive motors of different polarities that are normally required to explain the movement of a putative motor - cargo complex would not be necessary .
transportation here is based on a mechanism that requires formation of clusters of motors , not necessarily on their ability to travel along long distances .
i would like to thank domingos h.u .
marchetti for very helpful and enthusiastic discussions regarding the conditions imposed by fubini 's theorem and the procedure used here to estimate the double integrals ; and also elisa t. sena for pointing to me many of the difficulties in the initial developments of this work .
i thank scott hines for kindly editing a preliminary version of the text .
this work had integral support from fundao de amparo a pesquisa do estado de so paulo ( fapesp ) - brazil .
i. m. kulic , a. e. x. brown , h. kim , c. kural , b. blehm , p. r. selvin , p. c. nelson , v. i. gelfand , the role of microtubule movement in bidirectional organelle transport , proc .
usa 105 , 10011 - 10016 ( 2008 ) .
b. derrida , m.r .
evans , the asymmetric exclusion model : exact results through a matrix approach , nonequilibrium statistical mechanics in one dimension , university press , uk , chapt .
14 , 277 - 304 ( 1997 ) ; b. derrida , m.r .
evans , v. hakim , v. pasquier , an exact solution of a 1d asymmetric exclusion model using a matrix formulation , j. phys.a26 , 1493 - 1517 ( 1993 ) .
* figure 1 - * dynamics of motors and cargos .
( a ) * cargo transfer .
* it happens here through a mechanism of hopping between neighbor motors .
due to the flexibility of the tail , the attached cargo may display small oscillations leading to the possibility of it being caught either by the motor at its left or by the motor at its right .
the corresponding processes 12 @xmath171 21 or 21 @xmath171 12 are represented in the figure .
( b ) * the step of a motor*. the time spent by the motor with the two heads attached to the microtubule is much larger than the time it spends with just one of the heads attached @xcite , as a part of the `` hand - over - hand '' mechanism proposed to explain the kinetics of two - headed motor proteins @xcite .
occupation of a site by a motor occurs here whenever it is occupied by the two heads of a motor .
the motor step is then represented as @xmath172 which is indicated in the figure . | arxiv |
our theoretical understanding of nature is largely based on perturbative methods . in quantum field theory ,
one is interested in calculating transition amplitudes and therefore cross - sections and decay rates for various scattering and decay processes .
such calculations are performed at a given order in perturbation theory . in the language of feynman diagrams , lowest order contribution to
the transition amplitude comes from only tree diagrams while higher order terms receive contribution from loop ( virtual ) diagrams also . in literature , higher order contributions to a given transition amplitude are known as radiative corrections
. + computation of virtual diagrams for a given scattering or decay process , involve integration over undetermined loop momenta .
these loop integrals are ill - defined as they may diverge for certain limiting values of momentum flowing in the loop .
a well known case is of ultraviolet singularity which may arise as loop momentum becomes very large . with massless particles present in theory
, these integrals may develop infrared or more appropriately mass singularities , as well .
also , there are singularities which originate from specific phase space points such as physical and anomalous thresholds .
a systematic study of mass singularities and threshold singularities can be done via landau equations .
@xcite @xcite @xcite kinoshita @xcite describes mass singularities of feynman amplitudes as pathological solutions of landau equations .
+ in this article , we limit ourselves to the ir singularity of one loop diagrams , away from any threshold . also we do not consider any exceptional phase space point , corresponding to vanishing of any partial sum of external momenta .
according to kinoshita @xcite , these are pure mass singularities , valid for all possible kinematic invariants made out of external momenta .
these mass singularities can be of soft or collinear type , often described in literature . under certain circumstances , which we will discuss below
, the overlapping of soft and collinear singularities may also take place . in the following ,
we wish to present a pedagogical introduction of occurrence and structure of ir divergence in one loop diagrams . in ref .
this issue is discussed thoroughly , using parametric form of loop integrals .
we have treated the issue at the very elementary level and have show all the features of mass singularities known at one loop .
+ the most general one loop integral is of tensor type , in which loop momentum appears in the numerator .
one loop diagrams having fermions in the loop are common examples of such integrals .
since any tensor integral at one loop can be expressed in terms of scalar ones ( @xmath0 one loop integrals for @xmath1-theory ) , it s sufficient to apply our analysis on scalar integrals only .
these singularities appear as a result of any of the internal lines becoming soft , that is , it s momentum vanishes .
we consider the @xmath2-point scalar integral , fig .
[ fig : loopdiagram ] , in @xmath3-dimensions , given by @xmath4 with following notations for simplification , @xmath5 in our notation _ @xmath6 _ , always but to start with , _
@xmath7_. now , we wish to derive conditions under which above integral may diverge as one of the internal momenta in the loop , say _
@xmath8 _ becomes soft .
we will take _ @xmath9 _ , with the understanding that soft limit for _ @xmath8 _ is reached as @xmath10 . with _
@xmath9 _ , in our notation , relevant denominators take following form @xmath11 we have dropped @xmath12 against @xmath13 and @xmath14 , assuming @xmath15 is not orthogonal to @xmath16 and @xmath17 .
the above denominators vanish under soft limit , if @xmath18 thus in soft limit scalar integral in eq.(1 ) behaves as , @xmath19 which diverges logarithmically in @xmath20 . in @xmath21
limit the divergence appears as ln @xmath22 .
kinoshita @xcite called it @xmath23-singularity .
it is easy to check that no other denominator vanishes in soft limit of @xmath8 , in general .
thus _ the appearance of soft singularity in one loop diagrams is associated with the exchange of massless particles between two on - shell particles_. the structure of soft singularity in eq.(5 ) suggests that it can occur for @xmath24 point functions only .
a text book example of soft singular integral is the one loop vertex correction in qed with massive fermions , as shown in fig.[fig : vertex ] .
at one loop , collinear singularity may appear when one of the internal momenta becomes collinear with a neighboring external leg .
see fig.1 .
we consider @xmath25 where @xmath26 ( since they correspond to softness of @xmath8 and @xmath27 respectively ) and @xmath28 .
the collinear limit is obtained as @xmath29 . in this case
relevant denominators are , @xmath30 the general conditions for these denominators to vanish are @xmath31 that is , _
one loop diagrams in which a massless external leg meets two massless internal lines may develop collinear divergence_. in - fact , the first of the above three conditions is hidden in the assumption , @xmath28 . in @xmath29 limit , this equality implies @xmath32 for massive @xmath17 .
thus for collinear limit ( @xmath33 ) , @xmath17 must be massless .
no other denominator vanishes for non - exceptional phase space points .
the scalar integral ( 1 ) , in this limit goes as @xmath34 which , like soft singularity , is also logarithmically divergent .
this singularity , sometimes referred as @xmath35-singularity can be regularized by setting @xmath36 and taking @xmath21 limit .
it appears as ln @xmath22 , as expected .
we note that a two point function , fig.[fig : bubble ] , can have ir singularity of collinear type only .
now , since we have studied the structure of soft and collinear singularities of a one loop diagram , it is desirable to seek the possibility of their overlap .
a soft piece , with all lines massless , contains two collinear pieces .
let this soft piece be the part of a scalar @xmath2-point function in @xmath3-dimensions .
we set @xmath37 , to write the @xmath2-point scalar integral for massless internal and external lines , keeping only ( in general ) potentially divergent denominators as @xmath38 .
@xmath39 instead of taking @xmath38 limit right away , which clearly corresponds to soft limit , we wish to break the above integral into soft and collinear regions .
this job is easily done in the light - cone co - ordinates as suggested in ref . .
in this co - ordinate , a 4-vector is written as @xmath40 where , @xmath41 and @xmath42 is a @xmath43-dimensional euclidean vector .
the dot product of two @xmath44-vectors then takes following form @xmath45 this can easily be generalize in @xmath3-dimensions . in the cm frame of @xmath16 and @xmath17 , using light - cone variables , we may write @xmath46 here @xmath47 is ( @xmath48 ) dimensional null vector in euclidean space .
now , the integral in eq.(11 ) reads @xmath49 with @xmath50 .
notice that we can make @xmath51 and therefore @xmath8 , collinear to @xmath16 by setting @xmath52 and @xmath53 equal to zero . to do it more systematically , we choose @xmath54 where @xmath55 and take @xmath56 limit in eq.(14 ) , so that the integral becomes @xmath57 once again we obtain collinear singularity of log - type in @xmath58 .
further , if we take @xmath59 , we make @xmath8 soft and we see the overlapping of soft and collinear singularities , which is also logarithmic in nature .
note that this singularity structure never gets worse for any other choice of @xmath52 made above .
it should be obvious that for non - exceptional phase space points there is no overlapping of two soft regions or two distant collinear regions in a one loop diagram .
thus a one loop ir divergent integral is written as sum of terms , each containing two large - log factors , at most .
in dimensional regularization ( @xmath60 ) , ir singular terms at one loop appear as coefficients of @xmath61 ( soft and/or collinear case ) and @xmath62 ( overlapping case ) .
@xcite in fig.[fig : vertex ] , if we allow fermion lines to be massless , the one loop correction to qed vertex exhibits the full structure of ir divergence at one loop .
we have shown many known features of ir divergence of a one loop diagram , using naive power counting in loop momentum .
we have seen that for a one loop diagram to have ir singularity at least one internal line must be massless .
diagrams with all external legs massive are ir finite for all internal lines massless .
tensor integrals at most retain the ir singular structure of scalar integrals . since maximum three denominators of a general @xmath2-point scalar integral vanish at a time , in infrared regions
, one should expect the possibility of expressing ir singular terms of any one loop diagram ( @xmath63 ) , in terms of those of appropriate three point functions . in ref .
, this expectation is achieved for the most general one loop integrals .
the above analysis also tells us that any one loop diagram is ir finite in @xmath64 dimensions .
this is useful in calculation of certain one loop integrals in @xmath44-dimensions in terms of those in @xmath65-dimensions which certainly contributes to finite part of the integral and can be evaluated numerically . | arxiv |
Why do we need to do work to maintain motion of a fluid?
On page 355 of principles of physics by Resnick walker and Halliday, the author writes:
>
> Work must also be done on the system (at the input end) to push the entering fluid into the tube and by the system (at the output end) to push forward the fluid that is located ahead of the emerging fluid. In general , the work done by a force of magnitude $\textit{F}$, acting on a fluid sample contained in a tube of area $\textit{A}$ to move the fluid through a distance $\Delta x$, is
> $$ F \Delta x = pA \Delta x = p(A \Delta x) = p \Delta V $$
>
>
>
According to newton's first law, an object in motion remains in motion unless acted by an unbalanced external force .So, if we take the bulk of fluid as an object, then it would continue motion unless forces act on it. Then why is that we always have a pressure difference at ends of the tube that we take? As in, the paragraph I quoted suggests that we need to do some work to push fluid whether stationary or moving over a displacement.
As a side note, I recall in thermodynamics that we do $ \int P dV$ to attain work, however this is an expansion work. So, would a correct interpretation of the formula be that work is done for expanding the fluids volume? Precisely speaking, as the fluid flows, it is expanding it's own volume (in a way)
>
> Work must also be done on the system (at the input end) to push the
> entering fluid into the tube and by the system (at the output end) to
> push forward the fluid that is located ahead of the emerging fluid.
>
>
>
This pressure can be estimated, *or at least understood*, by means of the Bernoulli Principle (so for an ideal, inviscid fluid).
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/wlodZ.png)
$$p\_1+\frac12 \rho v\_1^2+\rho gz\_1=p\_2+\frac12 \rho v\_2^2+\rho gz\_2$$
Assume $v\_1\approx 0$ (or at least $v\_2 \gg v\_1$) and the potential energy changes negligible, then the above equation reduces to:
$$\Delta p\approx -\frac12 \rho v\_2^2$$
where $v\_2$ is calculated from the volumetric flow rate. $\Delta p$ is negative because it is a pressure *drop*.
So $\Delta p$ is required to impart kinetic energy to the fluid by the pump to keep fluid entering the pipe.
---
>
> As a side note, I recall in thermodynamics that we do ∫PdV to attain
> work, however this is an expansion work. So, would a correct
> interpretation of the formula be that work is done for expanding the
> fluids volume?
>
>
>
The fluid is considered incompressible ($\frac{\partial V}{\partial p}=0$) so there's no compression or expansion going on ($\Delta V=0$)
The question is a bit unclear, but here is my response. I will delete if it's not on-topic.
Assume no losses due to friction. Then note that every small volume of fluid that we wish to push into the pipe must be given a certain flow velocity, after which that fluid element will coast its way down the length of the pipe with that velocity, and leave the end of the pipe with that velocity.
Therefore, the pump at the head end of the pipe is continuously performing work on the fluid it is pushing into the pipe, to accelerate it up from zero to the flow velocity of the rest of the fluid in the pipe. That acceleration work is present even if there is no viscuous dissipation occurring inside the pipe.
The answer is ultimately due to viscosity. Viscosity serves as an energy "sink" – it constantly dissipates energy out of the system. Viscosity is due to the friction between two layers of fluids moving at different speeds and hence "dragging" each other. With ideal fluids (ones with no viscosity), kinetic energy is conserved, assuming no external forces.
The mathematical justification for this is a little involved, but I'll leave it here for anyone who's interested. Consider the Navier-Stokes equation:
\begin{equation}
\frac{\partial \mathbf{u}}{\partial t}+(\mathbf{u} \cdot \nabla) \mathbf{u}=-\nabla(p / \rho)+v \nabla^{2} \mathbf{u}.
\end{equation}
Dot both sides of this equation with the field velocity $\mathbf{u}$. With some manipulation, this is
\begin{equation}
\frac{\partial}{\partial t}\left[\frac{1}{2} \mathbf{u}^{2}\right]=-\nabla \cdot\left[\left(\frac{1}{2} \mathbf{u}^{2}+p / \rho\right) \mathbf{u}\right]+\frac{\partial}{\partial x\_{j}}\left[\tau\_{i j} u\_{i} / \rho\right]-2 v S\_{i j} S\_{i j}
\end{equation}
where
\begin{equation}
\tau\_{i j}=\rho \nu\left(\frac{\partial u\_{i}}{\partial x\_{j}}+\frac{\partial u\_{j}}{\partial x\_{j}}\right) = 2 \rho \nu S\_{ij}.
\end{equation}
Take the integral of both sides so that we get the time rate of change of the total kinetic energy in the system on the LHS. Using the divergence theorem, and the assumption that $\mathbf{u}$ dies off either at some boundary or at infinity, we are left with:
\begin{equation}
\frac{\mathrm{d}}{\mathrm{d} t} \int \frac{1}{2} \mathbf{u}^{2} \mathrm{d} V=-\int 2 \nu S\_{i j} S\_{i j} \mathrm{d} V\equiv-\int \varepsilon \mathrm{d} V
\end{equation}
where $\varepsilon = 2 \nu S\_{ij} S\_{ij} \geq 0$. Thus, kinetic energy is continuously being lost out due to viscosity, and work is needed to keep a fluid moving.
| stackexchange/physics |
This is a list of the National Register of Historic Places listings in Calvert County, Maryland.
This is intended to be a complete list of the properties and districts on the National Register of Historic Places in Calvert County, Maryland, United States. Latitude and longitude coordinates are provided for many National Register properties and districts; these locations may be seen together in a map.
There are 20 properties and districts listed on the National Register in the county, including 2 National Historic Landmarks.
Current listings
|}
See also
List of National Historic Landmarks in Maryland
National Register of Historic Places listings in Maryland
References
Calvert
* | wikipedia |
Lorentz transformations: Distance vs "retarded distance"
Suppose I have a charge situated at rest in one inertial coordinate system. The field of that drops inversely with the square of the distance. If I perform a Lorentz boost where $$v^2« c^2$$ (not necessarily $v«c$), should I expect the magnetic field to vary with the inverse square of the distance calculated in the first frame, or should I expect it to vary inversely with the square of the "retarded distance" in the second frame? The "retarded" distance depends on the velocity of the charge and the radial vector to the charge and the dependency is of order $\frac vc$. So at some points, the charge should appear closer due to retardation of the field, while at other points towards the "antipode", the charge should appear farther due to retardation of the field. This would be in addition to the length contraction which makes the charge appear closer at both ends, but that effect is of order $$\frac{v^2}{ c^2}$$ which we could neglect here.
A moving point charge $q$ with velocity $c~\vec \beta$ at position $\vec r = r~\hat r,$ $\|\hat r\| = 1,$ a time $t=0$ is known to have relativistic fields at the spacetime origin of (SI units)
$$
\vec E = -\frac{q~\vec r}{4\pi \epsilon\_0 r^3}~\frac{\gamma}{\big(1 + (\gamma~\vec \beta \cdot \hat r)^2\big)^{3/2}},\\
\vec B = \frac{1}{c^2} \vec u \times \vec E,
$$where $\gamma=1/\sqrt{1 - \beta^2}$. See for example [Richard Fitzpatrick's derivation](http://farside.ph.utexas.edu/teaching/em/lectures/node125.html) although this is a staple of most undergrad electromagnetism textbook, as they all want to eventually excite their students with relativistic calculations.
The field points directly at the charge but is attenuated by this strange $\alpha = \gamma ~\vec \beta \cdot \hat r$ term which can certainly be merged into the $r^3$ term to be a field strength going like $\gamma r/(r')^3$ where $r'$ is the proper distance between the charged particle's world line and the field point at the spacetime origin.
It is not immediately clear to me what connection this has to the delayed distance $\ell\_-.$ In cylindrical coordinates the position $\vec r$ can be treated as being at some $(\rho\cos\theta,\rho\sin\theta,z)$ position and choosing the $z$-direction parallel to $\vec \beta$ the delayed distance should be the positive solution of
$$\ell\_-^2 = \rho^2 +(z + \beta ~\ell\_-)^2,$$or,$$(1-\beta^2)\ell\_-^2 - 2\beta z\ell\_- - \rho^2 - z^2 = 0,$$ so $$\ell\_- = \gamma^2\beta z + \gamma^2\sqrt{\beta^2z^2 + (\rho^2 + z^2)(1-\beta^2)}.$$
With a bit more manipulation then, we have $\rho^2 + z^2 = r^2$ while $\beta z=\vec \beta \cdot \vec r$ and this looks like $$\ell\_- = \gamma~r~\left(\gamma \vec \beta \cdot \hat r + \sqrt{1 + (\gamma ~\vec \beta\cdot \hat r)^2}\right).
$$
This connection between the term I above called $\alpha$ and $\ell\_-$ can be written, in other words, as $$\ell\_-/(\gamma~r) = \alpha + \sqrt{1 + \alpha^2}$$
which we could even solve for $ \alpha$. Haphazardly working through it, I think I get that $$\vec E = -\frac{q~\vec r}{4\pi\epsilon\_0 r^3}~\frac{\gamma}{\left(\frac{\ell\_-}{2\gamma r} + \frac{\gamma r}{2 \ell\_-}\right)^3},$$ which seems simple enough but it is not really “obvious” in any way that I think you are hoping it would be obvious.
| stackexchange/physics |
How to dissolve PLA (polylactic acid)?
I'm a maker and I've been interested in 3d printing for years.
I have found a technique for dissolve the **PLA** supports in a model printed in 3D in **HIPS**
1. I have printed the model in **HIPS** and the support in **PLA**
2. I have put the 3D model in a ultrasonic cleaner in the solution with water and sodium hydroxide
*(1 liter H2O + 200 grams NaOH)*
The PLA has dissolved after 3 hours with temperature 65° and 1 hour of ultrasonic sound.
I attach a youtube link with a similar experiment
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWYn5wJ72zY>
**Is it possibile use another substance / solution less dangerous and less toxic?**
In theory, the **PLA** is biodegradable. Is it correct?
Ps:
I want use this combination of materials HIPS for model and PLA for Support.
Thank you in advance for the answers.
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/7Sg9f.jpg)
Ethyl acetate disolves PLA - which is typically the ingredient in non-acetone nail polish removers.
<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethyl_acetate>
According to [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polylactic_acid):
>
> "If the filament is soaked in a small amount of ethyl acetate, it will dissolve and can be used to clean 3D printing extruder heads or remove PLA supports. The boiling point of ethyl acetate is low enough to also smooth PLA in a vapor chamber, similar to ABS and acetone."
>
>
>
I realise this post is over 2 years old but since nobody had mentioned this I'm gonna add it here for any future readers.
DCM (DichloroMethane) is a solvent for PLA and PLA+. I realise not everyone has access to it, but for those who do, it is great for solvent-welding of PLA parts. it dissolves PLA almost instantly and produces a seamless and clean weld once it evaporates away. (works on acrylic and Polycarbonate as well)
Just a safety note, DCM is fairly nasty stuff, you don't want it on your skin, it dissolves and damages many paints and coating as well as epoxies and plastics. the fumes are also fairly toxic. do your homework before getting or using it.
DCM is not really suitable for removing support materials. it's hard to get, it is fairly expensive and it's a toxic, also the waste is expensive to get rid of properly.
As for where to get DCM, it is the main ingredient in some brands of paint stripper. there are instructions online as to how to distill it for use.
Cheers
When I started 3D printing I did some trials to dissolve PLA. I tried acetone, caustic and some other solvent. The only one that worked very well at room temperature was methylamine in water.
Unfortunately, it is not a product to use at home. Caustic is corrosive, but the vapours of methylamine can irritate the eyes and the respiratory system. It should be used in a fume cupboard.
It is very effective because instead of a saponification, the amine reacts with the ester forming an amide, which is much more efficient.
alphonse is right: What you get with NaOH (or KOH) is not dissolved PLA, but a solution of saponified lactic acid. The good news is you can just pour that down the drain as long as we don't speak of many liters per day and your sewage gets treatment and doesn't just flow into the next river.
You can calculate the amount of NaOH needed from the mass of the PLA printed. I'll leave that little stochiometric exercise to you, just use a reasonably small excess of NaOH.
With any organic solvent (if it works), you will soon sit on liters of waste for which you have no legal and affordable way of disposal.
Simple Solution to Dissolve PLA is THF (Tetrahydrofuran) whose preferred IUPAC name was changed in 2013 to oxolane. It is used in the Pool industry, as well as in 3D Printing, and vinyl printing (like Vehicle wrapping)
See <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetrahydrofuran>
It is true that a *mist* of aqueous sodium hydroxide can be hazardous to eyes or lungs (or other mucous membranes, even skin when present in large amounts for extended periods of time.) (It is not true that NaOH vapor poses any significant risk at or near room temperature, including at 65°C.) My first suggestion would be to stop the use of the ultrasonics, and try gentle stirring instead. If you must use an ultrasonic bath, then it should be sealed to prevent leakage of the mist into unprotected areas. There are many other chemicals which can provide a high pH.
I doubt your explanation that it is simply the pH which "dissolves" the PLA is correct. Na+ will react with PLA to form the salt in a de-esterfication reaction. It is possible that KOH may be more effective, either on a mass or a cost basis - you'd have to try it. The most obvious high pH chemicals are NaOH, KOH, and Ammonia (NH4OH/NH3(aq)), but you could also try lye, dry lime, CaO and Ca(OH)2. You could try mixed salts such as Sodium bicarbonate or sodium biphosphate to increase the metal ion concentration. There are also known catalysts for the desterification reaction, one well known one is iron (but many catalysts may discolor the plastic).
De-esterification also occurs in acidic conditions. You should consider the use of sulfuric acid or acetic acid (perhaps even hydrochloric acid) as well as the bases I've mentioned. In either case (acid or base), any residual contamination (due to poor rinsing or even absorption by the remaining part) can cause various structural and aesthetic problems over time. Be warned.
To answer your question in general (I do not have any specific experience with PLA), NaOH will be quite effective, it is unlikely that other possible bases or even KOH will improve your situation. CaO has obvious advantages in terms of both waste disposal and possibly for effects of aging, but it is also less soluble than K/Na hydroxides, so might be more difficult to rinse away, and it may not result in equally effective decomposition. (And note that your principle waste problem is the PLA waste.)
PLA is biodegradable in the sense that it takes less time to biodegrade than other plastics. It normally takes around 80 years to biodegrade if I remember correctly, compared to a few hundred years for most other plastics. Acetone is able to partially melt PLA, but it won't dissolve; instead it will make the PLA sticky and soft, so I would normally use acetone for smoothing print layers.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Welcome to the Engineering Physics program at the University of Kansas. Students who pursue a degree in Engineering Physics from KU often find themselves in careers that put them at the pinnacle of emerging technology. Here you will find information for current and prospective undergraduate students. Please contact us at the address below if you have any questions.
Engineering Physics offers a B.S. degree for students interested in an interdisciplinary program combining basic physics with engineering applications. The Engineering Physics BS degree is accredited by the Engineering Accreditation Commission of ABET, http://www.abet.org. The program is jointly administered through the School of Engineering and the Department of Physics and Astronomy in the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences. | slim_pajama |
Facing my secret fear that my Compendium presages the end of civilization
By Chris Thursten 2015-07-09T16:11:46.189Z
Three Lane Highway
Every week, Chris documents his complex ongoing relationship with Dota 2, Smite, and wizards in general.
This weekend, check out the Rektreational! It's a games industry Dota 2 tournament! Chris is playing in Uptown Dunk, casting, and writing this in the third person for some reason.
Every time I load into a game of Dota 2, I worry. That feeling has nothing to do with the match itself—I've become a little less wary of people who random, for what it's worth—and everything to do with the way your Compendium level pops up at the start to indicate the amount of money you've pumped into the International prize pool.
I get it. It's a way of advertising the Compendium. A way of showing off, even, at a certain level. Here's the thing, though, reader: I have an absurd Compendium. In a world where the average player is somewhere between level zero and level fifty, mine is level 744. Seven hundred and forty four.
I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I wanted to get an ultra-rare Faceless Rex courier as a gift for my girlfriend. These items weren't available on the Steam Marketplace until a week after they came out. I didn't want to wait that long. I figured they'd sell for a chunk of change anyway, so it made sense to gamble on opening Collector's Cache chests until one dropped. There's a 1-in-250 chance of that happening, but it'd happen, I thought. I'd get one soon enough. I've always been pretty lucky.
I opened over 250 Collector's Caches without receiving a Faceless Rex. I did some very unhealthy things to my credit card in pursuit of a gift that I thought was always just around the corner. It was a very strange afternoon. I still feel a bit weird about the whole thing. I've never been much into gambling.
A week later, I bought a Faceless Rex on the Steam Marketplace. My girlfriend got her present in the end.
And I, somewhere along the way, ended up with a very impressively high-level magical internet wizard sport book. Every time I load into a match, I watch the number '744' ping into place and wait for somebody to say something. Normally, they don't. Sometimes, they do. I may as well be wearing a sign saying 'gigantic tryhard' (previously, it was my Phantom Assassin arcana that confirmed this). I've considered changing my Steam username to 'please don't ask about my Compendium level'. I even told all of my friends privately to preempt their collective giggling.
This experience has got me thinking about the staggering amount of money that I and other people have spent on this videogame over the years. I've poured more money into Dota 2, a completely free game that puts almost none of its content behind a paywall, than I have with any other game series I have ever loved. I adored Mass Effect and bought every collector's edition—there's a model Normandy on my desk right now—but it doesn't come close to a fraction of the value of my collection of wizard hats. I've even written about why hats don't matter. Yet here I am with my big dumb Compendium, my collection of hats—and curiously few regrets.
Nothing about my career or lifestyle suggests that I'm to be taken seriously as a human adult, but if I were I'd struggle to justify this aspect of my hobby. Yet I don't feel I need to. As the games industry—and the commentary community attached to it—has adapted to the various consequences of free to play, 'people just like to spend sometimes' has always been a downplayed aspect of the discussion.
We talk about exploitative business models, pay to win, and so on, but rarely about the simple satisfaction transmitted by paid participation. It's nice to gather things. It's nice to buy gifts for other people. It's nice to earn the gold borders and the badges and the levels, because all of it basically translates to 'I care about this thing and I'd like to show that'. My trepidation about my Compendium stems partly from the knowledge that it's uncool to care, particularly in the Dota community, but that is the least of my concerns.
Valve profit enormously from this acquisitive reflex, and they're far from the only company that does. Whatever vestigial synaptic tick it is that makes it satisfying to consume, collect, and display is arguably unnecessary for us personally—a behavioural appendix, waiting to be cut out—but vital to the particular economy we wallow around in.
I regard my Compendium level with mild horror because I suspect secretly that one day it is going to spur a great and righteous takedown by one of my matchmade allies or opponents. It is the most absurd testament to the comfortable position I find myself in, the historic ludicrousness of my resources and desires, signifying a world so out of balance that a not particularly well-remunerated Western man can afford to tip money into an internet computer game prize pool in pursuit of a purple dinosaur that doesn't even have a face. I am horrified by the possibility, however vastly unlikely it is, that I will one day be matched into a Dota 2 game with Slavoj Žižek. Perhaps he'd be into it; I have no idea, really. I just never imagined that if we met it'd be me making the case for the absurd inevitability of capitalism.
On the other hand, that number signifies a deep individual investment in something shared with others; an engagement with a sport, a part of culture, albeit a silly one; a mad and misdirected generous streak. It's a bit romantic, even. All of these things are natural, very human, and I suspect that this is why we are probably, completely, collectively, globally, fucked.
The point is: even fair free to play systems spur people to strange excess. Developers, the traditional target of these types of discussion, bear only part of the responsibility; people, both individually and in the abstract, play a key role in allowing this way of things to be. The best response I can give to anybody who points and laughs at my Compendium level is 'I don't fucking know either'. In a world (or at least a country) where the public teeters ever further over the edge into the private, where ownership is taken to be the sacred right of people who own things, there is something appealing about owning a shitload of expensive pretend digital things that I don't even really own. The notion that this might amount to some form of dirty protest is as close as any of this gets to valour. A frivolous little personal rebellion against what is, like believing in auras. Just as unconvincing, but the particle effects are better.
Last night, Valve announced that anybody with a Compendium level over 1000 would receive a replica of the Aegis of Champions trophy. A physical replica! A piece of metal I don't need. An additional expense.
"In for a penny" I thought, staring at the gap between 744 and 1000.
"Maybe I'll get my own Faceless Rex this time."
To read more Three Lane Highway, click here. | slim_pajama |
Charles Wynn Griffith-Wynne 4 March 1780 22 March 1865, sometimes known more simply as Charles Griffith-Wynne, was a British Tory-leaning politician and, between 1830 and 1832, the Member of Parliament MP for Caernarvonshire in North Wales.
Early life
Wynne was born in 1780, the son of the MP Charles Finch. and Jane Wynne who had married one another in 1778. The Wynne family had been producing members of parliament for Caernarvonshire since at least as far back as the mid-seventeenth century.
He received his education at Westminster School and at Brasenose College, Oxford, which he left at the end of 1797 after only about six months, possibly in connection with his parents separation. He was later a fellow of All Souls College, Oxford between 1800 and 1812.
He took the names Griffith and Wynne by royal licence on 26 June 1804, almost certainly in order to inherit from his mother's family the Wynne family estates surrounding Voelas House subsequently demolished in Denbighshire.
Career
He was politically active in the Caernarvonshire constituency from about 1825, and was elected unopposed as the constituency MP in 1830 when the king's death triggered a general election. He was considered a partisan of the Tory government, but was absent from the House of Commons when the government fell a few months later, in November 1830, over the issue of parliamentary reform.
There is no record of his having made a speech in the House of Commons. His voting record in the struggle that marked the run up to the Reform Act 1832 was opposed to the reform agenda of the Whig government of Lord Grey. However, for much of the time he was absent due to illness, and he did not stand for election in the 1832 election, nor subsequently.
Personal
Wynne married Sarah Hildyard in 1812. Their children included Charles Griffiths Wynne-Finch 18151874 and Charlotte Griffith-Wynne, better remembered in New Zealand as Charlotte Godley 18211907, the wife of John Robert Godley. His youngest daughter Frances Elizabeth Wynne travelled widely and was a keen amateur artist. Another child included their son, John Wynne, who played first-class cricket. Griffith-Wynne became estranged from John in 1864, disinheriting him from his will.
Charles Wynn Griffith-Wynne died on 22 March 1865.
References
External links
Category:1780 births
Category:1865 deaths
Category:Members of the Parliament of the United Kingdom for Welsh constituencies
Category:Member of the Cambrian Archaeological Association
Category:People educated at Westminster School, London
Category:Alumni of Christ Church, Oxford
Category:UK MPs 18301831
Category:UK MPs 18311832 | wikipedia |
Energy of eclipsed and staggered conformations of ethane and propane
>
> Which points on the given energy diagram represents eclipsed confirmation of ethane and staggered confirmation of propane respectively?
>
>
> 
>
>
>
**Attempt:** Eclipsed configuration is unstable because of repulsions between filled $\sigma$ or bonding orbital and the anti or staggered configuration is more stable due to interactions between filled $\sigma$ orbital and empty $\sigma^\*$ orbital.
From the given diagram, either R or S could represent eclipsed confirmation of ethane and P or Q could represent staggered confirmation of propane.
Since they are different compounds, they should lie on different energy diagrams. So the answer could be (R,Q) or (S,P). Which one is correct?
That diagram is horribly drawn. The way it is drawn, the 13.6 kJ/mol number is meaningless - it measures from the maximum of one curve to the minimum of the other curve.
I think that you are supposed to assume that for one of the molecules, the one for the lower curve, the torsional strain is 12.6 kJ/mol and for the other molecule the torsional strain is 13.6 kJ/mol.
Do you have some reason to think that the barrier to free rotation for propane would be higher or lower than for ethane? Perhaps your book gives the value for the torsional strain of ethane/propane? (through a quick google search I was able to find the torsional strain for both of these)
| stackexchange/chemistry |
ELECTION by Alexander Payne & JIM Taylor
Third Draft July 22,1997
Based on the novels by Tom Perotta
EXT. MILLARD HIGH -- DAWN
The school stretches out before us, slumbering in the overcast morning
air.
Along the front sidewalk, a lone JANITOR trundles a garbage bin filled
with overstuffed hefty bags.
A weathered FORD ESCORT pulls into the empty PARKING LOT and comes to
a stop near the athletic field.
A TEENAGE GIRL'S VOICE -
TRACY (VO)
None of this would have happened if Mr.
McAllister hadn't meddled the way he
did. He should have just accepted
things as they are instead of trying to
interfere with destiny. You see, you
can't interfere with destiny. That's
why it's destiny. And if you try to
interfere, the same thing's going to
happen anyway, and you'll just suffer.
JIM MCALLISTER, a teacher in his mid to late-thirties, emerges from
the car in running clothes and carrying a briefcase, gym bag, and
coffee mug. On his way to the field, he crosses paths with the
janitor.
JIM
Morning, Lowell
Lowell nods, hoists a bag and tosses it into a dumpster.
EXT. ATHLETIC FIELD -- DAWN
JIM CIRCLES THE TRACK, sweating and panting.
ON THE GROUND JIM does sit ups
JIM
Twenty-one... twenty-two.
He collapses onto his back. His head rolls to one side, and he
glances past the fence at --
THE PARKING LOT
Where a second CAR is just arriving. JIM watches as TRACY FLICK, a
junior, and her MOTHER get out.
The mother helps remove a CARD TABLE and a big plastic sack from the
trunk before Tracy heads toward the school.
MOTHER
(distant)
Good luck!
JIM turns his gaze toward the sky, closes his eyes, sighs.
INT. BOYS' LOCKER ROOM -- DAY
Naked in the showers, JIM pumps liquid soap from the wall- mounted
metal dispenser.
INT. HILLARD HALL DAY
THE LEGS OF A CARD TABLE - as Tracy spreads them open and locks them
into place.
STICKS OF GUM from a Plen-T-Pack are emptied into a FISHBOWL-
SCOTCH TAPE is wrapped around the end of a pen to attach a piece of
string
INT. BOYS' LOCKER ROOM DAY
AT THE MIRROR
JIM adjusts the knot of his tie, notices a little shaving cream in his
ear.
INT. MILLARD HALL DAY
FOUR CLIPBOARDS with pens and lined sheets of paper are being placed
in a row like little soldiers. The top of every sheet reads "Tracy
Flick for President: Official Nomination Signatures."
INT. FACULTY LOUNGE -- MORNING
AT THE REFRIGERATOR
JIM tries to place his lunch inside, but the shelves are too crammed
with old take-out containers. He opens one and smells it. Disgusted,
he drags a garbage can over and begins throwing things away.
Lowell appears in the doorway wheeling his squeaky maintenance cart
and watches JIM conduct his purge as A CHINESE FOOD BOX misses the can
and rolls on the floor.
INT. MILLARD HALLWAY -- DAY
Tracy is seated behind her card table strategically placed near the
school's main entrance. A sign taped to the wall behind her reads,
TRACY FOR PREZ. SIGN UP FOR TOMORROW, TODAY! She checks her watch,
readies herself.
JIM walks around the corner whistling vaguely.
TRACY
Good morning, Mr. McAllister.
JIM
Not wasting any time, are you, Tracy?
TRACY
(chirping)
You know what they say about the early
bird.
JIM
Yes, I do.
An awkward moment passes between them.
JIM
Well, good luck there, Tracy
TRACY
Thanks, Mr. M.
AS JIM turns and walks away, Tracy watches him. He stops and picks up
some litter, tosses it in a nearby garbage can.
TRACY (VO)
No matter what he says, Mr. McAllister
had it out for me from the start. Oh
sure, he was all smiles and good wishes
and everything, but underneath he was
just as unfair and petty as anybody
else.
INT. JIM'S CLASSROOM DAY
Alone in his room, JIM studies the Omaha World-Herald
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
He'll probably tell you how committed
he was to teaching and democracy and
integrity and all. Don't be fooled.
After laying the paper down to circle an article, JIM leans back in
his chair and momentarily loses himself in thought.
JIM (VO)
It's hard to remember how the whole
thing started, the whole election mess.
What I do remember is that I loved my
job. I was a teacher, an educator, and I
couldn't imagine doing anything else.
Suddenly a VOICE --
VOICE (OS)
Hey, Mr. M. Mr. M.!
JIM glances OUT THE WINDOW and sees a kid -- PAUL METZLER -- pointing
at him. Paul walks with a LIMP. Behind him, other STUDENTS approach
the school.
PAUL
Stop daydreaming! Get back to work!
JIM enjoys the affectionate joshing and gives the kid a wave. He
returns to his newspaper, a contented man.
JIM (VO)
The students knew it wasn't just a job
for me.
EXT. MILARD HIGH FOOTBALL STADIUM -- NIGHT
JIM sits in the bleachers, clapping his hands over his head.
JIM
C'mon, wolverines! Defense! Let's
hold 'em back!
JIM (VO)
I got involved. And I cared.
INT. MILLARD GYM DAY AT A PEP RALLY -
JIM is dressed as a WESTERN VILLAIN, and his black hat reads "Lincoln
South." With a menacing grimace he approaches a group of FOOTBALL
PLAYERS at a poker table.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
And I think I made a difference.
A CORNER OF THE SCHOOL DAY
JIM has a comforting hand of the shoulder of a CRYING GIRL
JIM (VO CONT'D)
I knew I touched the students' lives
during their difficult young adult
years, and I took that responsibility
seriously.
INT. AUDITORIUM -- NIGHT
JIM trots up the stairs to receive a plaque. He beams.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
In the twelve years I taught U.S.
History, Civics and current Events at
Millard, I was voted Teacher of the Year
three times - a school record.
INT. JIM'S CLASSROOM -- DAY
Mr. McAllister reads aloud from the newspaper as he paces in front of
his class of high school juniors, Tracy Flick among them. The seats
are arranged in a SEMI-CIRCLE.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
Standing in front of a room full of
young people, trying to make them think
that's how I wanted to spend the rest
of my life,
JIM slaps the newspaper for emphasis and addresses the class
JIM
So would this be an ethical situation
or a moral situation? What's the
difference between ethics and morals,
anyway?
Tracy shoots her hand into the air. JIM notices but keeps looking
around.
JIM (CONT'D)
Anybody
Other hands rise tentatively
JIM (CONT'D)
Derek
DEREK
Uh, ethics is like when you, uh, do
what society tells you is right and
morals are like, uh...
JIM
You're on the right track, who can
help him out?
DEREK
..morals are when...
Tracy's hand goes higher.
JIM
Michelle?
MICHELLE
Morals are like lessons, you know, like
the moral of a story; it's what you
learn from a story or a fable or
something. . .
JIM
Or a life experience. Good. And
ethics?
MICHELLE
That's more like, urn... Ethics is how
you use the morals... that you learn
from a story?
JIM weighs the answer, tries to be encouraging.
JIM
Okay. But we're still missing
something key here. What are we
missing?
TRACY
(hand still raised)
I know.
JIM
(finally)
Tracy.
TRACY
Ethics are...
FREEZE FRAME on Tracy, her hand lowering, her mouth agape.
JIM (VO)
Tracy Flick. Tracy Flick. I've never
met anyone quite like Tracy Flick.
INT. STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM -- DAY -- ONE YEAR PREVIOUS
JIM sits to one side, monitoring the student council MEETING about to
convene. A younger Tracy enters briskly and, unlike her casual teen
comrades, has made an attempt to dress for success. She takes a seat
right up front and opens her backpack.
After preparing her notepad and pen, Tracy puts a MICROCASSETTE
RECORDER on the table in front of her and pushes RECORD.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
She first showed up in my life as a
freshman delegate in student council.
I'd seen a lot of ambitious students
come and go over the years, but I could
tell right away Tracy Flick was
different.
JIM observes Tracy, trying to size her up.
ON TRACY -- putting all her little things in order, finally folding
her hands to wait.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
It wasn't long before everyone knew who
Tracy Flick was. She made sure of that.
Her drive was astonishing. Even scary.
A FAST-PACED MONTAGE BEGINS UNDER TRACY'S VOICE-OVER:
INSERT HILLARD HIGH YEARBOOK It fans open to the INDEX.
PAN DOWN to Tracy's name followed by countless page references
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
Some people say I'm an overachiever,
but I think they're just jealous.
A page number turns BOLD, and the other numbers drop away
Suddenly we are on that page, and we PAN to a headline: "Spanish Club
says Oh La!"
PAN to the group shot and ZOOM in on Tracy smiling in a big SOMBRERO.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
My Mom always tells me I'm different --
you know, special. And if you look at
all the things I've accomplished so far,
I think you'd have to agree.
We see Tracy on other pages too: "Yearbook Staff goes for it!" "Junior
Achievers put on the dog!" "Student Council meets the challenge;"
Oklahoma's a hit!
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
Here I am in Oklahoma.
The STILL of Tracy in Oklahoma suddenly COMES TO LIFE.
INT. MILLARD HIGH AUDITORIUM NIGHT
On stage, Tracy wears a cowgirl outfit and hams it up with exaggerated
gestures.
TRACY
(off-key)
I'm just a girl who can't say no...
TV INSERT/INT. CAFETERIA DAY
It's the closed-circuit school NEWS BROADCAST. Tracy is delivering a
stand-up report from the crowded cafeteria. Her dress and makeup are
an obvious if lame emulation of a professional newswoman.
TRACY (VO)
And here I am on KMHS, our student-run
TV station.
TRACY (ON TV)
..that's why Principal Hendricks made
the controversial announcement that the
littering must stop. Tracy Flick
reporting.
INT. STUDENT COUNCIL MEETING ROOM -- AFTERNOON
A Student Council meeting is underway led by the president, LARRY
FOUCH. A girl, ASHLEY, is speaking. JIM observes from the side.
TRACY (VO)
But it was in SGA, the Student
Government Association, where I made my
biggest mark. I never missed a meeting,
and I volunteered for every committee as
long as I could lead it.
Before Ashley can finish, Tracy STANDS UP
TRACY
I agree with Ashley. We should rent
the barrels at least a day beforehand.
What happened last time was a travesty,
I mean, we were --
LARRY FOUCH
(trying to quiet
her)
Yeah, no, I know, Tracy. That's why
we're -- Look, can we just take a vote
on this?
INT. JIM'S CLASSROOM DAY
BACK TO TRACY still frozen mid-sentence, waiting to finish her answer.
JIM (VO)
Now at the end of her junior year,
Tracy was poised to win the presidency
of the student body. And so far she was
running unopposed.
TRACY COMES BACK TO LIFE
TRACY
...the rules of conduct determined by a
culture at a...
SHE FREEZES AGAIN
JIM (VO)
Oh. There's one more thing about Tracy
I think you should know.
INT. MILLARD STAFF-ROOM -- DAY
CLOSE ON DAVE NOVOTNY, another teacher in his mid-thirties
DAVE
Her pussy gets so wet you can't believe
it.
WIDE -
Dave is leaning across his desk to speak with JIM at an adjacent work
area. They eat sack lunches.
JIM (VO)
A few months before the election, she'd
had an affair with my best friend Dave
Novotny.
JIM
Don't tell me that. I don't want to
know that.
DAVE
She's incredible. Everything just gets
soaked.
INT. JIM'S BASEMENT DAY Dun-dun-DUN... Dun-dun-DUN
JIM and Dave are playing the opening notes of "Foxy Lady" through
cheap, distorting amps. JIM plays bass. Dave plays guitar and sings
into a microphone. They're bad. As in not good.
The basement is typical of a Midwest middle-class young couple -- half
storage and laundry, half makeshift roc-room.
JIM (VO)
Dave came to Millard the year after I
did, and we hit it off right away. We
backed each other up in teachers'
meetings and shared an interest in 60's
music and micro-breweries.
CLOSE ON DAVE really getting into it, playing to an unseen stadium.
Behind him JIM is very careful with his chords.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
You could tell Dave was one of those
guys who taught because they never
wanted to leave high school in the first
place, and that could get a little
irritating sometimes, but basically he
was a real good guy.
DAVE
(singing)
Foxy. . . Foxy. . . You know you're a
cute little heartbreaker... Foxy... You
know you're a sweet little love maker...
CAMERA DRIFTS toward the stairs leading up.
INT. JIM'S KITCHEN
CAMERA DRIFTS from the open basement stairway door and toward DIANE
MCALLISTER and SHERRY NOVOTNY seated at the kitchen table. They are
fussing over little six-month-old DARRYL NOVOTNY in his highchair.
JIM (VO)
Our wives became best friends too. And
when Dave and Sherry's son Darryl was
born, they asked us to be godparents.
At a particularly grating note from downstairs, Diane gets up and
closes the basement door.
INT. GEOMETRY CLASS
AN ISOSCELES TRIANGLE is being drawn on the blackboard and bisected.
PULL OUT to reveal Dave explaining.
The class is taking notes, and we zero in on a younger Tracy.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
YOU probably think the worst - that Mr.
Novotny was just taking advantage of one
of his students, but it wasn't like that
at all. Our relationship was based on
mutual respect and admiration. I mean,
during my sophomore year in geometry it
was strictly professional between us --
I mean, nothing.
EXT. GODFATHER'S PIZZA -- NIGHT The parking lot, the neon lights, the
promise of good times.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
It wasn't until junior year when we
worked together on the yearbook that
things got serious.
INT. GODFATHER'S PIZZA -- NIGHT Dave and Tracy are at a booth along
with six other students.
TWO KIDS DISSOLVE OUT OF FRAME,
and the others shift positions. Others continue to disappear in the
same way, until only Dave and Tracy remain.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
One night he took us editors out to
celebrate after a deadline. Eventually
Dave and I were left alone and we got to
talking - not like teacher and student,
but like two adults.
DAVE
You know, Tracy... I don't know how to
say this, but...
Dave's finger traces the rim of his frosty root beer mug.
TRACY
what?
DAVE
Well, I notice you don't seem to have
any close friends at Millard. You seem
to be kind of a loner.
TRACY
No, I'm not. I'm just really busy.
DAVE
I know. I know its not by choice. I
just mean, well, being the kind of
person you are, it must be really
difficult to find someone you can talk
to.
TRACY
What do you mean? What kind of person
am I?
DAVE
What kind of person?
Dave looks directly into her eyes.
DAVE (CONT'D)
Tracy, I've been watching you for going
on two years now, and I think you are
one of the most talented, hard-working,
sensitive, attractive, brilliant
students -- no, human beings -- I have
ever met. I mean, you're the real
thing. Special.
TRACY
(embarrassed, low)
Thank you.
DAVE
And I know sometimes people like you
have to pay a price for their greatness,
and that price is loneliness.
Tracy nods in quiet recognition.
DAVE (CONT'D)
I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. But it
seems like you might need a friend.
INT. MILLARD YEARBOOK OFFICE -- DAY
A DOOR with cloudy glass and a stenciled sign: YEARBOOK OFFICE.
DISSOLVE through the door and TRAVEL through an empty room to discover
another door with a sign that reads DARKROOM.
TRACY (VO)
Since I grew up without a dad, you
might assume psychologically I was
looking for a father figure.
DISSOLVE through the darkroom door to
DAVE AND TRACY bathed in red light. Tracy is sitting on Dave's lap as
they make out hungrily.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
But that had nothing to do with it at
all. It was just that Dave was so
strong and made me feel so safe and
protected.
INT. DAVE'S CAR -- DAY
Dave drives. Tracy sits in the passenger seat.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
It was the first time somebody ever saw
the real me, the me that nobody else
knows.
DAVE
(looking around)
Here, get down.
EXT. NOVOTKY HOUSE - DAY
Dave wheels his car into the open garage. The automatic door closes
behind him.
INT. NOVOTHY LIVIMG ROOM
Dave stands up from his squat at the STEREO, and the sexy sounds of
Sade set the mood.
Tracy is seated awkwardly at one end of the sofa, a Diet Dr. Pepper in
one hand. Dave walks slowly toward her, a sexy, knowing look in his
eye. The music is sexy. Tracy is sexy. He's sexy. Keeping his eyes
locked on Tracy's, he takes the pop can from her hand and takes a sip
himself. Sexy.
INT. NOVOTHY STAIRCASE DAY
Dave and Tracy walk up the stairs and down the hall. Dave enters the
bedroom first, while Tracy pauses in the hall. His arm reaches out and
pulls her inside.
INT. NOVOTNY BEDROOM DAY
IN QUICK TIGHT CUTS we see Dave and Tracy DISROBING
Tracy's head and naked shoulders lay themselves on Dave's pillow. She
looks toward the foot of the bed at -- DAVE, unable to believe his
eyes. He looks at naked Tracy up and down, up and down, his breath
quickening. Sade wafts up the stairs.
DAVE
Look at you.
He descends out of frame.
TRACY (VO)
When I think back on my relationship
with Mr. Novotny, what I miss most. is
our talks.
INT. DAVE'S BASEMENT DAY
JIM is riveted by Dave's story; he is both horrified and titillated
JIM
You did it at your house? Your own
house?
DAVE
Look, Jim... Okay. I know it all
seems crazy, and maybe it did start out,
you know, for the... for the sex and the
danger. But now it's different. Jim,
what I'm trying to tell you is that
Tracy and I are totally, totally in
love.
JIM
In love?
DAVE
Yeah, it's serious. I mean she
inspires me in ways Sherry never has.
She even wants to read my novel.
JIM
But you haven't written your novel.
DAVE
That's the whole point. It's all in my
head; it's right here. I just got to
get it out there. Tracy wants me to
write it so she can read it. It's
beautiful.
JIM
Dave, I'm just saying this as your
friend. What you're doing is really,
really wrong, and you've got to stop.
Dave draws a heavy sigh and buries his head in his hands perhaps JIM
has reached him. Perhaps not.
DAVE
You're not just jealous, are you? I
mean, we both used to talk about her
JIM
(exploding)
That was just talk! Fantasy talk! What
are you, nuts? We talk about girls all
the time, but it doesn't mean anything.
I would never. . . I mean, I take very
seriously our strict moral code. The
line you've crossed is... it's illegal
and it's immoral.
DAVE
I don't need a lecture on ethics, Jim,
okay? I know what --
JIM
I'm not talking about ethics. I'm
talking about morals.
CLICK. SQUEAK. STEP STEP STEP.
SHERRY (OS)
Peek-a-boo!
Sherry comes down the basement stairs with Darryl in her arms.
DAVE
(to Jim,
whispering)
Look, I appreciate your concern. I
really do. But like I said, I got it
under control.
As Sherry approaches them, Dave rises to take Darryl, the perfect
father: hug, tickle, kiss.
JIM (VO)
I guess I don't have to tell you how
all this turned out.
INT. PRINCIPAL HENDRICK'S OFFICE DAY
CLOSE ON DAVE slumped in a chair. He is lost in agony: all he can do
is look down and draw short, gasping breaths.
Principal Walt Hendricks is at his desk, examining a little BOOKLET.
JIM
sits on the vinyl sofa.
CLOSE ON -- the small makeshift booklet whose cover reads, "There's a
place for us" in overdone fancy cursive.
THE SECOND PAGE shows a cutout from a travel magazine of a swanky
BEACHFRONT HOTEL. One room has been circled with the words "you and
me" written next to it. Below: "A time and place for us." We HEAR
Walt clearing his throat, swallowing.
THE THIRD PAGE has glued to it a POSTCARD showing a couple hand-in-
hand on the beach at sunset and reading, "Maui is for lovers." Below:
Take my hand and we'll soon be there.
THE LAST PAGE has a cutout of a bouquet of flowers. It reads, "Tracy,
See you in paradise? Love, your 'teacher' David. P.S. I really,
really need you now." The booklet is lowered.
DAVE
Tracy's Mom -- she doesn't understand.
WALT
No, I'd say she doesn't. I don't think
I've ever seen a mother quite so upset.
We're all very, very lucky she doesn't
want this public.
Dave looks at JIM for help. JIM looks away. Dave's breaths grow more
convulsive. Finally -
DAVE
But we're in love
WALT
Dave. Dave, look at me
Dave looks slowly up.
WALT
I want you to get some help.
DAVE & SHERRY'S LIVING ROOM NIGHT
Sherry cradles Darryl while Dave grovels at her feet.
JIM (VO)
After Dave got fired, Sherry kicked him
out of the house and filed for divorce.
SHERRY
Your novel? Are you fucking kidding me?
Dave follows Sherry as she takes the baby into their bedroom and slams
the door in Dave's face. Dave pounds on the door, eventually sinking
to his knees and crying.
DAVE
Sherry Sherry Sheerrry. ...
JIM (VO)
He ended up moving back to Milwaukee to
live with his parents. I haven't heard
from him in a long time. Poor guy. I
warned him.
INT. JIM'S CLASSROOM -- DAY
Tracy, still frozen, THAWS OUT. Maybe now she can finish
TRACY
...certain time in history and
RINGGGGG Maybe not.
At the bell, students instantly shut their textbooks and collect their
things.
JIM
Okay. We'll pick up here next time
Tracy is miffed as she puts her things away: slam, stuff, zip. She
slings her backpack over her shoulder and heads toward the door. She
looks back at --
MR. MCALLISTER who himself now FREEZES as he talks to a couple of
students
TRACY (VO)
Now that I have more life experience, I
feel sorry for Mr. McAllister.
CLOSE-UP FROZEN DETAILS - of Jim's appearance - his slightly frayed
collar and bad tie; the heels of his old docksiders worn down at
irritating angles; the faded impression his too-big wallet has made in
his khakis; his growing bald spot; his ear hairs.
TRACY (VO)
I mean, anyone who's stuck in the same
little room saying the exact same things
year after year for his whole life,
wearing the same stupid clothes, while
his students go on to good colleges and
move to big cities and do great things
and make loads of money has got to be at
least a little jealous. It's like my
room says - the weak always try to
sabotage the strong.
Tracy turns and walks out the door.
INT. TRACY'S HOUSE -- DAY
CLOSE ON A SMILING LITTLE TRACY - in a Sears-style portrait. PAN
across a wall full of other framed photos of Tracy accepting awards,
dancing in a recital, poised to dive at a swim meet.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
One thing that's important to know
about me is that I'm an only child. So
my Mom is really devoted to me, and I
love her so much. She wants me to do
all the things she wanted to do in life
but couldn't.
AT THE DINING ROOM TABLE
Tracy's mother, BARBARA FLICK, finishes a letter and puts it in an
envelope.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
See, Mom used to be a stewardess for
Northwest and now works as a para-legal.
She likes to write letters to successful
women like Janet Reno and Elizabeth Dole
and ask them how they got to be where
they are and what advice do they have
for me, Tracy, her daughter.
CLOSE ON BARBARA'S TONGUE as the envelope flap slides across it.
INT. MILLARD HALLWAY DAY
A politician's SMILE plastered to her face, Tracy is at her card table
vigorously gathering signatures.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
Nine times out of ten they say you have
to hold on to your dreams no matter
what. The pressures women face mean you
have to work twice as hard, and you
can't let anything or anyone stand in
your way.
A shabbily dressed BURNOUT -- DOUG SCHENKEN -- walks past and grabs a
huge handful of gum.
TRACY
One per person! Put those back I
John just keeps on walking away, and his two BUDDIES take great
delight in his nimble-witted, quick retort.
DOUG SCHENKEN
Eat me
INT. HILLARD LIBRARY -- DAY
While other students sit in groups around her, Tracy sits apart at her
own table, concentrated and alone. She is writing little numbers by
her signatures.
TRACY
Ninety-seven.. .ninety-eight.
TRACY (VO)
But you know, winning isn't
everything. If you play fair and follow
all the rules thoroughly, you'll always
come out ahead. Win or lose, ethical
conduct is the most important thing.
Just ask Mr. McAllister.
EXT. PARKING LOT -- DAY CLOSE ON TRACY'S EXCITED FACE
TRACY
Mr. McAllister? Mr. McAllister! Wait up
I
Jim, his tie loose and his sleeves rolled up, looks up from unlocking
his car. Tracy runs toward him holding out a TERM PAPER FOLDER.
TRACY
I got all my signatures. One hundred
and fifty-eight -- way more than I need!
JIM
Hey, that's super
TRACY
Here they are.
JIM
You can put those in my box. I'll look
at them tomorrow.
TRACY
Could you approve them now? I'd like
to kick off my campaign right away, you
know, in the morning.
JIM
(resigned)
Right
He cursorily flips through the bound pages and offers them back to
Tracy.
JIM (CONT'D)
Looks good to me.
TRACY
Aren't you supposed to keep them?
JIM
NO, that's fine
TRACY
I thought you were supposed to keep
them.
JIM
Okay, fine. Sure
JIM throws his briefcase and Tracy's folder into the backseat.
TRACY
Thanks for everything.
JIM
You bet.
Tracy stays put as JIM climbs in, shuts the door and fastens his seat
belt.
TRACY
(cheery, awkward)
I can't wait to start campaigning.
JIM
Should be easy. So far no competition.
TRACY
Hell, you know, Coca-Cola's the world's
number one soft drink, but they spend
more money than anybody on advertising.
I guess that's how come they stay number
one.
JIM
Yeah. Okay. well, good luck Tracy
They exchange a long, curious stare. There's a tone at once
confrontational and vaguely sexual about this moment.
TRACY
You know, Mr. M., when I win the
presidency, that means you and I are
going to be spending a lot of time
together next year. And I for one would
like that time to be harmonious and
productive. Wouldn't you?
JIM
Sure
TRACY
Okay. That's good. I just wanted to
make sure.
JIM
Good luck, Tracy.
JIM pulls away and heads for the parking lot exit.
INT.EXT. JIM'S CAR ON STREET -- DAY
JIM drives stone-faced, unblinking. Something about the music on the
radio mocks him.
JIM (VO)
I don't blame Tracy for what happened
with Dave. How could I? Dave was an
adult more than twice her age.
EXT. GROCERY STORE PARKIKG LOT DAY
JIM pulls to a stop next to a giant DUMPSTER
Out of his window come yellowed newspapers, balled-up fast food bags,
and other detritus. He speeds away.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
Sure, she got on my nerves once in a
while, but I admired Tracy. I really
did.
INSIDE THE DUMPSTER we see Tracy's little bound book of signatures.
INT. MCALLISTER DIKING ROOM - MIGHT
JIM and his wife Diane sit at their dining room table, eating chicken
pot pies, baked potatoes with sour cream, salad with Lite Ranch
dressing. Not a word passes between them.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
Thank God for Diane. She was my best
friend, my source of love and strength.
Oh sure, we'd had our share of bumpy
times, but we'd always seen them
through. After nine years of marriage,
we were closer than ever. And the
secret? Good communication.
DIANE
Anything wrong?
JIM
Everything's fine. Just, you know,
school.
INT. MCALLISTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
JIM lies awake in bed while Diane snores beside him. Something seems
to be echoing in his head.
TRACY'S VOICE
...You know, Coca-Cola's by far the
number one soft drink... When I win the
presidency we're going to be spending a
lot of time together... a lot of time...
lots and lots and lots of time...
president and advisor. . .
CLOSE ON JIM'S EAR as Tracy's LIPS magically whisper into it.
TRACY
...harmonious and productive... close
and special... you and I... so close...
so intimate... together...
INT. MCALLISTER BASEMENT NIGHT
In the darkness a light pops on, and JIM quietly pads down the stairs.
He opens an old CEDAR TRUNK, lifts out a few blankets and a piece of
cardboard to reveal a row of PORNO TAPES cleverly concealed in the
bottom of the trunk.
ON THE TV SCREEN -
A FOOTBALL PLAYER in uniform and helmet filets a CHEERLEADER in a
locker room.
JIM watches with detachment, as though watching the news. He sips a
can of PEPSI. The football stud continues to bump and grind. Looking
at his Pepsi can, JIM is suddenly inspired.
JIM
(quietly)
Paul.
EXT. SKI SLOPE (REAR PROJECTION) DAY
PAUL METZLER is SKIING in goggles and scarf. Behind him is a cheesy
dated rear projection of other skiers. Suddenly Paul loses his balance
and FALLS.
CLOSE ON PAUL writhing in the snow.
PAUL
Why. . . ? Why. . . ?
PAUL (VO)
I was so mad at God when I broke my leg
at Shadow Ridge over Christmas break.
INSERT X-RAY LIGHT BOX
CLOSE ON AN X-RAY of a multiple FRACTURE.
PAUL (VO CONT'D)
The doctors told me I'd have to quit
sports for at least a couple years if
not forever.
INSERT YEARBOOK PICTURE
Paul kneels in his FOOTBALL UNIFORM. The photograph erupts in flames.
Bonanza-style.
PAUL (VO CONT'D)
...which meant no first-string
quarterback in the fall. It was like the
end of my life!
EXT. MILLARD HIGH FRONT STEPS DAY
Paul stands talking to FRIENDS in a very typical high school tableau.
All wear backpacks or carry books. A GIRL kneels to sign his cast.
PAUL (VO CONT'D)
When I got back to school everybody was
so supportive, and they all wanted to
sign my cast and everything...
EXT. MISSOURI RIVER LOCKOUT -- DAY Alone, Paul leans on his crutches
and watches the river
PAUL (VO CONT'D)
... but I still couldn't shake the
feeling that now my life had no purpose.
What did God want from me?
THE VAST MISSOURI - always flowing, never stopping, no beginning, no
end
PAUL (VO CONT'D)
Why did I exist?
INT. LIBRARY DAY
Paul is sleeping slumped over a table, his head cradled on crossed
arms. The Celestine Prophecy is open face down next to him.
PAUL (VO CONT'D)
Sometimes you can search everywhere for
answers. Then one day destiny just taps
you on the shoulder. I know, because it
happened to me.
A FINGER reaches down and taps Paul's shoulder. Paul comes to and
looks -- it's Mr. McAllister.
JIM
Paul, could I talk to you for a minute?
MILLARD HALLWAY - DAY
His arm on Paul's shoulder, JIM walks Paul down a deserted hall and
into Jim's classroom. JIM picks up some scrap paper off the floor and
puts it in the proper place.
PAUL (VO)
Mr. McAllister changed my life. And no
matter what they say he did or did not
do, I believe he is a good man.
JIM'S CLASSROOM - DAY Paul sits in a chair, while JIM stands
JIM
Paul, I know you've been pretty down
since your accident.
PAUL
I wanted to play next year so bad I
could taste it. And maybe go on to...
JIM
I know. I understand disappointment.
I really do.
PAUL
Yeah.
JIM
But you've got a big choice right now.
You can choose to be depressed about it
for the rest of your life. Or you can
choose to see it for what it really is:
an opportunity. I personally think you
have a big future ahead of you, and I
don't mean the fleeting glory of sports.
PAUL
What do you mean?
JIM
Let me give you a clue. You're a born
leader. You're one of the most popular
students at Millard. You're honest and
straightforward. You don't choke under
pressure, as we all saw in that amazing
fourth quarter against Westside. The
other kids look up to you. What does
that spell?
Paul furrows his brow and looks around, searching for an answer. His
lower lip is wet.
JIM
Student... council... president.
It takes a moment for this to sink in. Finally
PAUL
Who, me? Nooo. I never... I don't
know anything about that stuff, Mr. M.
Besides, that's Tracy Flick's thing.
She's always working so hard and --
JIM
Yeah, no, she's a go-getter, all right.
PAUL
And she's super-nice
JIM
Yeah. But one person assured of
victory kind of undermines the whole
idea of a democracy, doesn't it? That's
more like a... well, like a
dictatorship, like we studied.
JIM
Paul, what's your favorite fruit?
PAUL
Huh? Oh. Uh... pears
JIM
takes a piece of chalk from the lip of
the blackboard.
JIM
Okay, let's say
PAUL
No, wait -- apples. Apples.
JIM draws illustrative circles on the board as he speaks.
JIM
Fine. Let's say all you ever knew was
apples. Apples, apples and more apples.
You might think apples were pretty good,
even if you occasionally got a rotten
one. Then one day there's an orange. And
now you can make a decision. Do you want
an apple, or do you want an orange?
That's democracy.
PAUL
I also like bananas.
JIM
Exactly. So what do you say? Maybe
it's time to give a little something
back.
INT. STUDENT COMHON AREA DAY
Tracy directs her friend ERIC OVERHOLDT on a ladder as he hangs a
large POSTER high on a wall.
TRACY
The right side is too high. The right
side. Just a smidge.
Suddenly she notices a small COMMOTION in the adjacent cafeteria and
goes to investigate.
INT. CAFETERIA DAY
A small crowd of students compete to sign Paul's nomination petition
taped to the wall.
GUY
(signing)
Hey Paul, you going over to Anthony's
on Friday, or what did you decide?
PAUL
I gotta talk to him first.
Tracy watches the hubbub, none too pleased, and pushes her way to the
front of the group.
TRACY
Who put you up to this?
PAUL
Huh? Oh, hi, Tracy
Tracy stares at him.
TRACY
Who put you up to this?
PAUL
What do you mean?
TRACY
You just woke up this morning and
suddenly decided to run for president?
PAUL
No. Uh... I just... you know, I just
thought --
TRACY
Thought what?
PAUL
Well, see, I was talking to Mr.
McAllister about my leg and
everything... and how I still want to,
you know, do something for the school
and --
TRACY
So Mr. McAllister asked you to run.
PAUL
Well, I mean, you know, I talked to him
and everything, but he just said he
thought it was a good idea... and how
there's all different kinds of fruit
and... It's nothing against you, Tracy.
You're the best. I just thought --
TRACY
Okay, Mr. Popular. You're on.
With that Tracy turns and SIGNS Paul's sheet
THE "I" IN "FLICK" is dotted with a STAR
CLOSE ON TRACY'S FACE - as she walks away, Paul and his fans receding
behind her
TRACY (VO)
You might think it upset me that Paul
Metzier had decided to run against me,
but nothing could be further from the
truth. He was no competition for me: it
was like apples and oranges. It just
meant I had to work a little harder,
that's all.
INT. TRACY'S BASEMENT NIGHT
CLOSE ON TRACY'S FACE --
in a xeroxed photograph. "Vote Tracy!" is written at the bottom.
Tracy is making campaign buttons with her BUTTON MACHINE. She
manufactures her buttons with almost alarming intensity. PATRIOTIC
MUSIC begins to rise.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
You see, I believe in the voters. They
understand that elections aren't just
popularity contests. They know this
country was built by people just like me
who work very hard and don't have
everything handed to them on a silver
spoon.
THE TRACY BUTTONS
drop one by one into a box. All the little round Tracys smile up at
us.
EXT. MILLARD PARKING LOT DAY
Paul is in the driver's seat of his hitching big-wheeled PICKUP TRUCK.
His door is open, and his radio blasts a SONG carefully selected to
boost soundtrack album sales. Various FRIENDS OF PAUL'S hang around.
Tracy watches the scene from her seat on the SCHOOL BUS
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
Not like some rich kids who everybody
likes because their fathers own Metzier
Cement and give them trucks on their
sixteenth birthday and throw them big
parties all the time. They don't ever
have to work for anything.
The .bus pulls away.
INT. TRACY'S LIVING ROOM AFTERNOON
CLOSE ON TRACY'S FACE -
staring into camera as she exercises on a NORDIC TRAC, Drenched in
sweat, she moves in a hypnotic frenzy.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
They think they can all of a sudden one
day out of the blue waltz right in with
no qualifications whatsoever and try to
take away what other people have worked
for very, very hard their entire lives.
No, it didn't bother me at all I
INT. PAUL'S PICKUP -- DAY
Paul drives home, his stereo thumping. Silent, he appears lost in
thought, as though a little gopher idea were burrowing its way to the
surface. Oh, look -- there's its snout now.
PAUL
Paul... Paul... power... Paul... Paul
for President... progress... promise...
peanut... Paul-i-tics... yeah...
President Paul... Punt for Paul! No.
EXT. METZLER HOME DAY Paul pulls into the driveway and hops out of
his car.
INT. TAMMY METZLER'S BEDROOM DAY
Two GIRLS are kissing on the bed. They are TAMMY METZLER and LISA
FLANAGAN, fifteen and seventeen respectively. Lisa breaks away. Tammy
tries to kiss her again, but Lisa resists.
TAMMY
(softly)
What?
LISA
I told you ... I can't. I just -- It
doesn't feel right anymore, you know?
INT. METZLER KITCHEN DAY
Whistling a cheerful tune, Paul tosses his backpack on a chair, grabs
a banana, and opens the refrigerator.
INT. TAMMY METZLER'S BEDROOM DAY
Tammy is still trying to comfort Lisa.
TAMMY
If you could just get out of your head.
Tammy leans forward, puts her palm on Lisa's cheek. Lisa looks at
Tammy as though at a stranger. Tammy leans forward and .kisses Lisa's
eyes. Lisa jerks her head out of Tammy's hands.
LISA
I said no!
Suddenly, there's a quick KNOCK at the door, and Paul enters. The
girls rise quickly.
PAUL
Hey, Tammy, guess what happened today.
TAMMY
Don't you fucking knock?
PAUL
Yeah. So guess what happened. So Mr.
McAllister, he --
(noticing Lisa)
Oh hi. Lisa.
TAMMY
Paul, get out!
PAUL
So Mr. M. calls me in and tells me --
LISA
I gotta go.
Lisa pushes her way past Paul and runs down the hall
TAMMY
(to Paul)
You dumbshit!
PAUL
What'd I do?
THE SCENE FREEZES.
TAMMY (VO)
You know how they say one day a big
meteor might come and crash into the
Earth and kill everybody? Well, I think
that would be a good thing.
BACK TO LIFE - Tammy turns away from Paul in disgust and runs after
Lisa
INT. METZLER LIVING ROOM AND FOYER CONTINUOUS
Tammy finds the front door flung open and through it sees Lisa
slamming the door of her beat-up Honda Civic and starting the engine.
TAMMY
Lisa
EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET CONTINUOUS
Tammy runs up to the car as it pulls away. She pounds on the window.
TAMMY
Stop! Wait!
Lisa stops the car, rolls down the window
TAMMY (CONT'D)
Where 're you going?
LISA
I'm not like you.
TAMMY
What...?
LISA
I'm not a dyke, okay, and we're not in
love. We were just... I was just
experimenting.
Lisa speeds away, and we watch her car grow smaller and smaller.
CLOSE ON TAMMY'S FACE -
as we see the greatest disappointment of her short life break across
her face.
TAMMY (VO)
How can something that seems so true
turn out to be such a lie?
EXT. ELMWOOD PARK -- DAY
Lisa and Tammy are swinging synchronized on a swingset, smiling and
laughing. The image is slightly OVEREXPOSED as though to suggest an
ideal memory.
CLOSE ON TAMMY looking over at Lisa
TAMMY (VO CONT'D)
I mean Lisa and I were destined to be
together. It was so obvious. Of all the
people on the planet who had ever lived,
somehow we'd found each other.
CLOSE ON LISA
in SLOW MOTION, swinging next to us. She looks back, her face so
happy.
TAMMY (VO CONT'D)
Lisa...
INT. TAMMY'S ROOM -- DAY
CHOMP-CHOMP-CHOMP Tammy eats an asparagus spear.
GNAW-GNAW-GNAW Lisa eats an asparagus spear
TAMMY drinks a big glass of water. She giggles a little.
LISA drinks a big glass of water. She giggles too.
TAMMY (VO CONT'D)
I remember one time Lisa and I did an
experiment with asparagus to see how
long it takes your pee to smell. We peed
a little every five minutes.
AN EGG TIMER: Ding I Tammy and Lisa, very serious now, smell little
Dixie cups
TAMMY (VO CONT'D)
For her it took about fifteen minutes,
and for me it was twenty.
INT. LIBRARY DAY
Lisa studies at a table, surrounded by other busy students.
TAMMY (VO)
Everyday I found some new way to tell
Lisa I loved her.
Suddenly Tammy walks by, drops a folded NOTE in front of Lisa, and
walks on. Lisa opens it.
NOTE
(Tammy's voice)
If you died right now, I would throw
myself into one of my Dad's cement
trucks and get poured into your tomb.
Lisa looks over her shoulder at Tammy, who is now at the door of the
library. Tammy nods at her with quiet loving reassurance.
TAMMY (VO)
But it just seemed like the closer we
got, the more she pulled away.
INT. MILLARD HALLWAY DAY
Lisa watches Tammy open her locker and notices a four-frame PHOTO-
BOOTH PHOTOGRAPH taped to the inside of the door. In the photos Lisa
and Tammy are clowning and smooching. Lisa reaches over and YANKS the
photos off the door.
LISA
Are you crazy?
TAMMY
What?
LISA
People can see this.
TAMMY
So?
LISA
These are private -- these are for us.
TAMMY
I know.
LISA
But other people can see them too.
TAMMY
I don't care.
LISA
Well, I do.
Lisa walks away with the photos
EXT. ELMWOOD PARK DAY
CLOSE ON LISA SWINGING -- next to us, a final reprise of Tammy's
favorite memory
TAMMY (VO)
What did I do to make her change?
What's wrong with me?
Lisa swings out of frame, and the swing returns EMPTY.
TAMMY (VO CONT'D)
(a whisper)
Lisa.
EXT. HILL ABOVE A POWER PLANT TWILIGHT
Tammy sits on a promontory overlooking an Omaha Public Power District
station -- towers, wires, insulators, a loud HUM.
TAMMY (VO CONT'D)
Sometimes when I'm sad, I sit and watch
the power station.
Tammy lifts a pair of BINOCULARS to her eyes, sees THE POWER PLANT.
TAMMY (VO CONT'D)
They say if you lie between two of the
main wires, your body just evaporates.
You become a gas. I wonder what that
would feel like.
TAMMY'S STREET -- EVENING
Lisa's car speeds away, growing smaller and smaller. We're back at the
BREAK-UP. CLOSE ON TAMMY'S FACE as she stares down the street, unable
to move. It starts to rain. Tears roll down her cheeks, mixing with
the rain. very French, very sad.
TAMMY (VO CONT'D)
I don ' t know what I did to make Lisa
hate me so much, but somehow she decided
to hurt roe. And she knew exactly what
to do.
LISA'S BEDROOM DAY
CLOSE ON PAUL'S FACE --
matched in size to Tammy's. He is moaning, gasping.
FROM OVERHEAD --
Paul is sprawled on Lisa's bed, surrounded by stuffed animals. His
legs dangle over the edge of the bed, and Lisa kneels between them,
her head bobbing up and down.
PAUL (VO)
I sure was surprised the day Lisa
Flanagan asked me for a ride home and
ended up blowing me.
Lisa pauses and looks up at Paul.
LISA
I've wanted this for so long.
She resumes with renewed vigor
PAUL
Uhhh... teeth. Teeth.
LISA
Sorry.
INT. MILLARD HIGH CAFETERIA DAY
Paul and Lisa sit with some other friends at a lunch table. Paul has
one arm around Lisa as he eats with his other hand.
PAUL (VO)
Life is so weird. First Lisa has a big
fight with my sister, and the next thing
you know she's my girlfriend.
Lisa turns around to look at
TAMMY seated at another table directly behind them. She and Lisa lock
eyes before they both turn around again.
EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD DAY
Paul poses for a campaign photo in his football uniform. He freezes
in position as though about to throw a pass. Lisa adjusts his
position -- CLICK.
PAUL (VO CONT'D)
Since Lisa knew all about public
relations and stuff, she offered to help
me with my campaign. We made a great
team!
Tammy spies from underneath the bleachers
INT. MILLARD HALLWAY DAY
Paul is on all fours as Lisa stands on his back to hang a poster with
Paul's football picture reading: "Paul Metzier You Bet-zier!"
PAUL (VO CONT'D)
It seemed so natural, the two of us
together. It was like destiny.
Tammy watches from a nearby classroom door, her nose and cheek pressed
against the window.
EXT. LISA'S HOUSE DAY
Paul's truck pulls up, and Paul and Lisa get out
PAUL (VO CONT'D)
That spring was perfect. My leg wasn't
bugging me too much, and the weather was
so nice. And every afternoon after
school. Lisa and I would go to her house
to fuck and have a swim. It was like we
were in a world all our own.
Tammy emerges from behind a tree. She's on her bike. Angry and
fragile, she watches the couple enter Lisa's house.
EXT. LISA'S BACKYARD DAY
Tammy peeks OVER THE FENCE and sees --
LISA AND PAUL swimming. Paul dives off the board and resurfaces right
into Lisa's arms.
MOVE CLOSER TO TAMMY as she dies a thousand deaths.
TAMMY (VO)
I had to do something. I didn't know
what, but I had to do something.
FADE OUT
INT. SHERRY NOVOTNY'S BACKYARD -- DAY
A laughing BABY BOY is lowered into frame and pulled back up again.
Then he swings across frame. It's little DARRYL NOVOTNY.
WIDE -
JIM has Darryl by the ankles and is swinging him between his legs.
Diane and Sherry are setting the picnic table. Stacked charcoal
briquettes burn off in a nearby barbecue.
JIM (VO)
Around that time Diane and I were
hanging out a lot at Sherry Novotny's
house, giving her our love and support
and helping her make it through a
difficult time.
DIANE
Jim, don't. You're scaring him.
JIM
He likes it.
Darryl's laughter suddenly turns into CRYING
DIANE
Here. Give him to me.
(as she takes
Darryl)
is little Darryl dizzy? That's it. .
come here. . .
SHERRY
You got him?
DIANE
Yeah.
Sherry heads into the house. JIM watches her walk, then turns toward
Diane and Darryl. It's as though Diane, not Sherry, were the infant's
real mother, so loving and attentive is she, so swelled with maternal
piety.
JIM (VO)
Diane really wanted to have kids -- and
so did I -- but it seemed like there was
always a reason to wait: she had to
finish nursing school, I had to get my
masters, we needed a new house, we
needed more money. Finally we just
decided to go for it...
INT. JIM'S BEDROOM NIGHT
A DIGITAL THERMOMETER reads 99.3. Behind it Diane lies in bed reading
a copy of Self.
JIM (VO)
...but for over a year we hadn't had
any luck. And Diane was getting
desperate.
INT. JIM'S HOME OFFICE NIGHT
At his desk, JIM studies a High Society magazine. He is naked.
JIM closes his eyes and bites his lip as though feeling something he
wished not to leave him. He quickly replaces a stack of magazines in
his desk and goes across the hall to --
INT. BEDROOM CONTINUOUS
where 'Lisa''s car speeds away, growing smaller and smaller. We''re
back at the BREAK-UP. CLOSE ON TAMMY''S FACE as she stares down the
street, unable to move. It starts to rain. Tears roll down her
cheeks, mixing with the rain. very French, very sad.' waits in bed.
She puts aside her magazine and welcomes Papa Bear. Lisa pauses and
looks up at Paul. closes the door behind him.
INT. MCALLISTER BEDROOM LATER
JIM and Diane copulate. Although ostensibly near climax, JIM seems to
be struggling. Diane's exhortations, once forbidden and exciting, now
seem routine.
DIANE
You gonna do it? You gonna do it?
JIM
Yeah, uh, just a minute
DIANE
Come on, doit. Doit. Fill me up. Come
on, fill me up
JIM
Yeah, just --
DIANE
Do it!
JIM finally climaxes
DIANE (CONT'D)
Okay!
With that JIM rolls off of her. Diane immediately hoists her knees to
her chest.
CLOSE ON JIM - on his side of the bed facing away from Diane.
DIANE
Could you hand me the remote?
EXT. NOVOTNY BACKYARD AS BEFORE
JIM is snapped out of his reverie by Sherry's voice
SHERRY
Say, Jim. Jim.
JIM looks. Sherry is walking out the patio door holding a big bottle
of wine with a corkscrew sticking out of it.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
Could you get this? I can't
JIM
Sure.
JIM takes the bottle. CLOSE ON the neck as the cork emerges: POP!
INT. NOVOTNY KITCHEN -- DAY
Sherry stands at the base of a stepladder as JIM climbs up and points
to a spot on the ceiling.
JIM (VO)
Without Dave around. Sherry needed a
lot of help around the house.
JIM
Here?
SHERRY
(indicating)
More this way.
JIM
Okay. Give me the drill.
JIM looks down at Sherry as she hands it up. Her blouse reveals a bit
more than it should, and JIM pauses to get an extra glimpse.
THE POWER DRILL BIT penetrates the ceiling.
EXT. HOVOTHY FRONT YARD -- DAY
A shirtless JIM is MOWING the lawn on a hot day. He shuts it off as
Sherry emerges from the house with lemonade. She wears culottes, a
halter top, and flip-flops.
JIM
I'd always liked Sherry, but we'd never
had a chance to spend any time alone
together. How with Dave out of the
picture, I began to see what an
incredibly sensitive and giving person
she was.
JIM downs his glass in big thirsty gulps and hands her back the glass.
He watches her walk back to the house.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
Plus she had finally dropped all that
weight from her pregnancy, and really
she looked great.
THE RIPCORD of the lawnmower is pulled a couple of times until it
starts.
INT. YOUHKERS DEPARTMENT STORE -- DAY
IN WOMEN'S ACCESSORIES -
Sherry looks at herself in the mirror modeling a colorful floppy hat.
She spins around for Jim's approval.
JIM (VO)
We got to be pretty good buddies. I
even took her to the mall one time while
her car was in the shop.
JIM smiles and nods. She puts on another. Sherry is like a young
girl on a date. She grabs Jim's hand and pulls him in another
direction.
AT THE MAKEUP COUNTER - Sherry spreads on lipstick.
SHERRY
What do you think?
It's clear what JIM thinks.
JIM
You look great
INT. JIM'S CAR -- DAY
They're driving home. There are packages on Sherry's lap and in the
backseat.
SHERRY
I can't afford this stuff right now.
JIM
Oh, come on. You've had a hard year,
you're cooped up with the kid all the
time. Let go; live a little.
SHERRY
You sure?
They come to a stop at a red light. Out one window JIM spots a MOTEL.
JIM
So what do you think? Should we get a
room?
SHERRY
Should we get a what?
JIM
points at the motel.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
Oh.
Her smile fades, and she stares straight ahead. There's an icy,
uncomfortable silence.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
(stiffly)
That's not funny.
The light changes. JIM swallows, accelerates
INT. JIM'S KITCHEN DAY
JIM walks in through the backdoor. Diane is loading the dishwasher.
They peck-kiss.
DIANE
How'd it go?
JIM
Fine. You know. We just went to
Crossroads.
DIANE
You guys have fun?
JIM picks an apple out of a bowl.
JIM
(between bites)
Yeah. No. I mean, you know.
DIANE
What?
JIM
Well, Sherry's great. But she can be a
little much sometimes.
INT. MCALLISTER BEDROOM NIGHT
Diane lies face-down, and JIM is on top of her. JIM makes spirited
love with her.
DIANE
Oh, Jim! Oh, God!
SHERRY'S HEAD, like a cut-out from a tabloid cover, floats in from
off-screen and lands on the back of Diane's head. At the right moment,
her face COMES TO LIFE and vaguely mouths the words that Diane is
saying, like a badly-dubbed movie.
DIANE/SHERRY
Oh, God. Just like that. Oh yes. Fill
me up...
Jim's wicked desire increases with each movement
Now TRACY FLICK'S FACE floats over and replaces Sherry's. Tracy mouths
Diane's words.
DIANE/TRACY
Do it, Jim. Fuck me.
JIM is at once in deep-space ecstasy and surprised at himself.
Diane's voice now changes: it's Tracy's VOICE.
TRACY (OS)
Fuck me, Mr. McAllister
FADE OUT
UNDER BLACK
JIM (VO)
So like I was saying, things were going
pretty well in my life.
INT. MILLARD HALLWAY -- DAY
It's passing period, and hundreds of students clog the halls
JIM (VO)
... that is, until things started going
all haywire with that damn election.
A distant DING-DING grows louder and louder. Everyone turns toward the
source, far down the hall, and eventually TAMMY emerges wearing a
makeshift SANDWICH BOARD that reads "Tammy Metzier For President."
Smiling a perverse smile, she rings a hand bell. Salvation Army style.
Paul is at his locker and watches Tammy go by.
PAUL
Tammy? Tammy, what are you doing?
Tammy ignores her brother and keeps walking directly toward us,
finally INTO CAMERA.
INT. MILLARD TEACHERS' OFFICES -- DAY Tracy sits opposite Mr.
McAllister.
TRACY
You're the advisor. You should stop
her. She's not qualified. She's just a
sophomore.
JIM
Calm down, Tracy. Just calm down.
TRACY
Are you sure all her signatures are
real? It's not easy to get all those
signatures.
JIM
As far as I know, they--
Suddenly LISA AND PAUL are sitting where Tracy was.
PAUL
We can't both run, can we? We're
brother and sister. Can we?
LISA
It's a conflict of interest. And Paul
was first.
JIM
Anyone who gets signatures in on time
can run. And she got in just under the
wire. Nothing I can do.
Now TRACY replaces Lisa and Paul
TRACY
Let me see them. Let me see them
Sighing, JIM fishes in his drawer and hands Tracy some sheets
TRACY
These are a bunch of burn-outs. And
look at this one, I can't even read this
one.
JIM
(taking the sheet)
Looks like Tim Kobza.
LISA AND PAUL again
LISA
She's doing this to get back at me
PAUL
For what?
LISA
I mean at you.
PAUL
For what?
LISA
I don't know. You're her brother you
should know.
TRACY returns.
TRACY
Tim Kobza? Tim Kobza! Who's he? I've
never heard of him!
JIM
Look, why don't we just forget about
Tammy? We'll have the assembly
tomorrow, everybody'll make their
speeches, and I'm sure everything will
be fine.
INT. MILLARD GYMNASIUM DAY
The entire student body is assembled on the bleachers. There is a
palpable mood of boredom and apathy.
JERRY SLAVIN, a handicapped kid in a wheelchair, is at the
microphone. His head lists to one side, and he takes long breaths as
he speaks.
JERRY
I love Millard High, and I will be a
dedicated vice President. A vote for
Jerry Slavin is a vote for good
government. And even if I can't really
stand up for you, I will.
(cracks himself up)
Thank you.
Jerry motors away amid scattered applause and coughs. JIM steps
forward, clapping, and raises the mike.
JIM
Thank you, Jerry, and good luck. Again,
Jerry is running unopposed for Vice
President. So we'll move on now to the
presidential race with three candidates
running. The first in alphabetical order
is Tracy Flick.
Tracy steps forward with a small stack of index cards. During her
speech she flips the cards over one by one but rarely looks at them.
TRACY
Poet Henry David Thoreau once wrote, "I
cannot make my days longer, so I strive
to make them better." With this
election, we here at Millard also have
an opportunity to make our high school
days better. During this campaign I
have had the opportunity to speak with
many of you about your concerns. I
spoke with freshman Eliza Ramirez, who
told me how alienated she feels from her
own homeroom. I spoke with sophomore
Reggie Banks, who said his mother works
in a cafeteria and can't afford to buy
him enough spiral notebooks for his
classes. I won't bore you with long-
winded promises about all the new and
innovative things I will definitely
achieve during the year in which it will
be my honor and privilege to represent
each and every one of you, but I can say
that my years of experience on the
student council have taught me the three
most important attributes the president
needs to possess; commitment -
DOUG SCHENKEN
Eat me
DOUG'S BUDDY
Eat me raw!
There is scattered laughter. Tracy pauses, wait Hendricks bounds up
and grabs the mike.
WALT
If you can't be adults and give these
candidates the courtesy they deserve,
then you don't deserve to be called
adults but children* Because that's what
children are. And you'll be treated like
children. So let's all listen up.
Walt backs away to his seat. Tracy resumes
TRACY
The three most important attributes the
president needs to possess are:
commitment, qualifications, and
experience. I'll add one more; caring.
I care about Millard, and I care about
each and every one of you, and together
we can all make a difference. One of
the things I would like to establish is
a regular open forum where any student
can come and voice their concern about
issues we face here at Millard. I and
the rest of the student council would
then interface with the faculty and
staff, so a continuous dialogue would
exist.
Walt whispers to Jim.
WALT
I'd say she knows a thing or two about
student-faculty dialogue.
JIM nods solemnly
TRACY
When you cast your vote for Tracy Flick
next week, you won't just be voting for
me. You'll be voting for yourself and
for every other student Our days won't
be any longer, but they can sure be
better. Thank you.
Tracy smiles and walks back to her folding chair. There is polite
applause and a few whistles. JJJB comes back to the microphone.
Tracy takes her seat next to Paul and glances at him. Paul scares
straight ahead, a fat bead of sweat on his forehead. One of his legs
is jiggling.
JIM
The next candidate for student body
president is Paul Metzier. Paul?
Paul awkwardly makes his way to the mike. Though by no means
thunderous, his applause clearly exceeds Tracy's. A small cluster of
jocks "woof" for him, shaking their fists in the air. Paul manages a
weak grin for his buddies.
Tracy shifts in her chair, her smile stiff and forced
Lisa smiles and nods at Paul from the bleachers, giving him
encouragement and a silent reminder to remember what they talked
about.
Tammy's eyes dart between Lisa and Paul. She shows no emotion, reveals
nothing.
The applause quickly dies, and after a moment Paul remembers to look
at the white paper in his hand. He speaks in a barely audible
monotone, never once glancing up.
PAUL
As many of you know I broke my leg
pretty bad thi3 year and the experience
has made me reevaluate what I want to do
with my life and that is help people
when you think about it a school is more
than a school it's our second home where
we spend all cur time and grow as
individuals and a community but is our
school everything it could be I want our
school to reach its true potential that
is why I am running for president.
JIM pinches the bridge of his nose, clearly pained
A few loud SOUND EFFECT SNORES saw through the air, and Walt points a
stern finger at - you guessed it -- Doug Schenken.
PAUL
I know what it is to fight hard and win
like when we almost went to state last
fall and I threw that fourth-quarter
pass against Westside for the touchdown
that won the game by three points I
won't let you down like I didn't then I
promise we can all score a winning
(big breath)
touchdown together. Vote Paul Metzier
for president thank you.
Paul now gets considerably less applause, but his jock friends remain
loyal.
JIM
Okay, Paul. Now our final candidate for
President - another one of the Metzier
clan -- sophomore Tammy Metzier.
Tammy approaches the mike. There are scattered mocking whistles and
catcalls.
Tammy calmly looks over the crowd, waiting for the jeers to subside.
She makes eye contact with Lisa, who stares back.
WALT
People. People I
The room quiets down. Tammy puts her lips close to the mike,
TAMMY
Who cares about this stupid election?
NOW there's something worth listening to.
TAMMY (CONT'D)
We all know it doesn't matter who gets
elected president of Millard. You think
it's going to change anything around
here, make one single person happier or
smarter or nicer? The only person it
matters to is the one who gets elected.
The same pathetic charade happens every
year, and everyone makes the same
pathetic promises just so they can put
it on their transcripts to get into
college. So vote for me, because I
don't even want to go to college, and I
don't care, and as president I won't do
anything. The only promise I make is
that if elected I will immediately
dismantle the student government, so
that none of us will ever have to sit
through one of these stupid assemblies
again!
There is a sudden huge cathartic eruption of cheers and applause.
Tammy has set them free. Even cynical old Doug Schenken and his
buddies join in.
STUDENTS
Tammy! Tammy! Tammy!
In total control, she steps back from the mike and CURTSIES.
Walt shoots an angry, confused look at Jim, who shrugs. Tracy is
clearly upset, but her smile remains eerily fixed Paul just looks
confused and ashamed. Jerry Slavin is convulsed in laughter and
chants along with the multitude.
Tammy quickly grabs the mike for one final exhortation.
TAMMY
0h don't vote for me I Who cares?
Don't vote at all!
The students go nuts.
INT. WALT HENDRICK'S OFFICE DAY
Dr. Hendricks is in a serious post-assembly discussion with JIM and
VICE-PRINCIPAL RON BELL.
WALT
That little bitch made a fool of us I
want her out of the election. Getting
everybody all riled up like that. She's
finished, you hear me? Washed up.
JIM
Walt, we can't throw her out of the
election just because we don't like her
speech. That's not what student
government's about.
WALT
(grumbling)
Yeah... whatever. All I know is she's
a troublemaker. She's on my list.
RON
All we need to do is send a message, so
maybe we should just suspend her.
WALT
Right. That's it. She's suspended for
a week!
To emphasize his point, Walt throws his STYROFOAM CUP at the
wastepaper basket and misses. Lowell the janitor, passing by outside
the door, notices the cup bouncing on the floor.
JIM
I think that's a little strong Walt.
Ron?
RON
We don't want to make a martyr out of
her. Three days sounds right to me.
WALT
Okay. Three days. Take care of it.
EXT. STREETS DAY
Tammy rides her bike on this crisp sunny spring day. The music is
buoyant. Tammy is all smiles.
TAMMY (VO)
Being suspended is like getting a paid
vacation. Too bad it was only three
days
EXT. 7-11 DAY
Tammy is hanging out by the entrance. A DUDE emerges from the store
carrying a 12-pack of beer. En route to his car, he throws Tammy a
pack of CIGARETTES.
DUDE
Here you go.
Tammy looks at the pack
TAMMY
Hey -- I said lights I
EXT. SACRED HEART ACADEMY -- DAY
A cigarette hanging out of her mouth, Tammy rides by the front of this
Catholic girls' school.
NOW AT THE ATHLETIC FIELD -
Tammy gets off her bike, goes to look through the surrounding fence at
GIRLS PLAYING LACROSSE
in their cleats, short skirts, jerseys. LITURGICAL MUSIC accompanies
SLOW-MOTION close-ups of the girls in action.
Tammy seems to breathe them in
INT. TAMMY'S ROOM -- DAY
Wearing headphones. Tammy DANCES to music only she can hear. She
happens to glance toward her door and notices a MANILA ENVELOPE
sliding under it. She opens the door and finds a startled Paul.
TAMMY
What do you want?
PAUL
Oh. Hi, Tammy. I was just, you know,
I went to all your teachers and got your
assignments.
Tammy looks at him, picks up the packet.
PAUL (CONT'D)
I just thought, well, last time you got
suspended you fell so behind and -
TAMMY
Okay, Paul. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Paul smiles at the acknowledgment of his good deed.
TAMMY (CONT'D)
Now could you leave me alone?
PAUL
Yeah. Oh, one more thing. Tammy. You
know, all this election stuff. 'Cause,
you know, everyone is saying it's so
weird that you're running against me,
and, well, it is kind of weird, and you
haven't really told me why you're doing
it and didn't tell me in advance or
anything. But that's okay, you know. l
respect your privacy. I just want you
to know that no matter who wins, if it's
you or me, there's no hard feelings.
We're still brother and sister. Okay?
Cause... and I hope you feel the same.
TAMMY
Sure, Paul. No hard feelings.
PAUL
Okay. Great. I feel good.
Paul is about to leave again but
PAUL
Oh. Oh. Yeah. Right. One other
thing. Since you know Lisa so well,
could you give me some advice? I want
to get her something for helping me with
the election. You know, something
really special -- like flowers or candy
or flowers and candy. Or is that too
typical? I mean, can you think of
something? Something really special?
You know, something she'd really like?
Tammy looks as though she'd like to push the button on all the world's
atomic bombs.
EXT. TRACY'S DRIVEWAY DAY
CLOSE ON A GIANT OUTLINED "0" --
drawn on white paper. A hand enters frame with a brush and begins to
fill in the outline with blue tempera-paint.
Camera RISES to reveal the "0" as part of a giant banner. Tracy is
working on some letters, while ERIC OVERHOLDT is working on others.
TRACY (VO)
What happened at the speeches was an
unconscienceable travesty. That little
bitch Tammy Metzier wanted to make a
fool out of me. Well, it wasn't going to
work. People do care who wins. Things do
matter.
Finally, we're high enough to read:
WHO CARES? I DO: VOTE TRACY!
TRACY
Eric, the "r" is supposed to be green,
not blue.
ERIC
Oh. Okay.
Eric carefully paints over his mistake, then works up some courage.
ERIC (CONT'D)
So, Tracy, I was wondering if after we
finish with these you'd like to go to a
movie or something.
TRACY
That's okay. I'm too busy.
Ouch.
INT. MILLARD YEARBOOK OFFICE -- NIGHT A haggard Tracy sits alone at a
computer monitor
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
People are so ungrateful. If all those
students who cheered for Tammy Metzier
only knew how hard I worked for Millard.
Like all the late nights I spent at the
yearbook office just to give them their
memories.
THE MONITOR
displays a DIGITIZED PHOTO of the Millard yearbook staff. DAVE
NOVOTNY peers proudly from behind two of the taller students. A CURSOR
in the shape of tiny SCISSORS makes a small circle around Dave's face.
Suddenly, the cursor turns into a tiny HAND and drags Dave's dislodged
head into the TRASH.
Tracy concentrates as she deftly controls the mouse.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
One of my duties was to clean up the
group photos. It was a cinch with our
new software.
THE COMPUTER MONITOR AGAIN --
as Tracy outlines a piece of the WALL and places it in the void where
Dave used to be, blurring the edges for a perfect effect, voila!
Satisfied, Tracy taps on the keyboard.
TRACY
(under her breath)
Let's see... "save" is Command "S."
Okay.
INT. MILLARD HIGH HALLWAY -- NIGHT
Tracy is heading down the hall toward the exit when she rounds a
corner and, suddenly deeply troubled, sees that
HER NEW "WHO CARES?" BANNER has come loose on an upper corner and is
drooping.
Tracy puts down her things and JUMPS up to slap the corner back into
place. Satisfied, she turns away. But then - SHOOP! The banner
fights back, peeling even further from the wall. Tracy prepares for
battle.
INT. YEARBOOK OFFICE NIGHT
Tracy enters and grabs a long aluminum STRAIGHT-EDGE.
INT. HALLWAY NIGHT
Standing on an overturned GARBAGE CAN and wielding the straight-edge,
Tracy tries to smooth the banner. But she's not holding the ruler flat
against the wall and -- RIP! -- she slices the banner lengthwise. Now
the plastic garbage can begins to buckle. Struggling to retain her
balance, Tracy accidentally hooks the banner and as she TUMBLES yanks
the whole thing down.
Overcome with anger and frustration, she thrashes around on the ground
and TEARS UP what remains of her banner.
PAUL METZLER smiles down at Tracy from his poster across the hall.
Tracy looks up at it. Instantly she is on her feet, lunging for the
poster. She jumps up, TEARS it down, and RIPS Paul's head into pieces.
Blood issues from a thin paper cut on one hand. Tracy regards it at
first without comprehending, then raises it to her mouth. While
sucking her wound, her gaze falls on --
ANOTHER SMILING PAUL mocking her pain.
ANGLE FROM WAY DOWN THE HALL
Hurricane Tracy begins a savage assault on the fragile coast of
Millard High. Paul's campaign posters fill the air, shredded to pieces
by the powerful winds of jealousy and rage.
TIME DISSOLVE --
to Tracy even farther down the hall, still jumping, still ripping.
TRACK FROM OVERHEAD - THE HALLWAY FLOOR - where a thousand bits of
Paul lie scattered -- a grinning mouth here, an eye there.
TILT UP finally to Tracy, sweating, panting. She finishes ripping a
poster and looks to find another. But there are no more Paul posters:
she has destroyed them all. Tracy raises her hands and sees they are
streaked with Blood.
INT. GIRLS ' BATHROOM NIGHT
Tracy is at the sink, washing away the blood. She pats her hands dry
with paper towels. The gravity of what she's done now sinks in, and
she panics.
TRACY
I didn't do this. I didn't do it.
She lifts the top off a garbage can, removes the PLASTIC LINER.
INT. MILLARD HALLWAY NIGHT
With frantic haste, Tracy stuffs the evidence of her awful deed into
the garbage bag.
EXT. BACK OF HILLARD HIGH -- MIGHT
Tracy's face is half-obscured by the bulging bag she carries down the
sidewalk.
EXT. HILLARD PARKIMC LOT - MIGHT
Tracy opens her TRUNK and heaves the garbage bag inside slamming the
trunk, she looks around - no one.
INT. TRACY'S CAR NIGHT
Tracy drives, sucking on a wounded hand. She glances frequently in the
rear-view mirror.
EXT. STREET MIGHT
Tracy's car drives down a REMOTE ROAD. There are no sidewalks here,
and the surroundings consist of scrubby vegetation and industrial
structures. In the background looms a POWER PLANT.
INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS
We now sense that Tracy has a plan. She throws the car into reverse,
backs up and turns onto -
EXT. A SMALL ACCESS ROAD -- CONTINUOUS
Tracy stop the car near an EMBANKMENT. She gets out and pulls the
garbage bag from the trunk.
With a big shove Tracy sends the bag cartwheeling down the hill
Breathing hard but clearly relieved, Tracy watches the evidence of her
deed tumble into obscurity.
NOW THROUGH BINOCULARS Tracy's shadowy figure runs back to the car.
EXT. HILL ABOVE POWER PLANT NIGHT
Tammy momentarily drops her BINOCULARS before raising them again.
THROUGH THE BINOCULARS - Tracy's car speeds away.
Tammy drops her binoculars and mounts her bike
EXT. EMBANKMENT -- NIGHT
Tammy skids to a stop, drops her bike, and heads down the embankment.
CLOSE ON THE HEFTY BAG
as Tammy draws near. She pauses at first, but intrepid curiosity
conquers her fear. She unties the knot.
FROM INSIDE THE BAG we see Tammy's sudden look of HORROR
PAUL'S MANGLED FACE smiles up at her. Tammy raises it toward camera
INT. NOVOTWY BATHROOM -- MORNING
CLOSE ON A DRAIN
as a hand extracts a huge WAD OF HAIR -- stringy, mucousy. fetid.
JIM holds it up for Sherry, who stands behind him in her bathrobe.
JIM
There's your culprit
He examines it from different angles. Both scrunch their faces
JIM (CONT'D)
Shall we give it a name?
SHERRY
(not missing a
beat)
Dave.
CLOSE ON AN OPEN TOILET - Plop! The hairwad joins several smaller
stringy friends.
NOW AT THE SINK
JIM washes his hands. Sherry glances between JIM and the water
running in the shower. It's getting steamy.
SHERRY
Did you know Dave's a bed wetter?
JIM
No, I... uh, didn't know that
SHERRY
All his life. He's tried everything.
JIM
(about the shower)
Still clear?
SHERRY
Yep.
JIM
We'll let it run awhile
JIM turns off the faucet and reaches for a towel. Sherry offers him
another.
SHERRY
This one's clean.
JIM takes it and dries his hands. Sherry now stands very close to
him. JIM
sets the towel on the sink. It's a little awkward as they look into
each other's eyes, standing so near.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
I guess you'd better get to work huh?
You're going to be late.
She slowly wraps her arms around Jim's neck and pulls him to her, a
hug of gratitude and warmth -- nothing sexual here, just the embrace
of two people in need of shelter from the storm of life. No, nothing
sexual at all.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
Thank you, Jim.
Now sherry begins to cry a little, and things begin to change -- hands
wander, cheek brushes cheek. Finally lips meet, tenderly at first.
And then it is a deluge.
INT. NOVOTNY LIVING ROOM DAY
JIM and Sherry stumble in from the hallway locked in an embrace. They
rove around the room, barely able to keep their balance. Finally,
they fall to the ground.
CLOSE ON LITTLE DARRYL --
playing with his foot in the CRIB. Through the bars behind him we can
discern the murky shape of Sherry and JIM rutting and grunting like
wild boars.
EXT. NOVOTNY DRIVEWAY DAY
JIM starts his car. Sherry leans into his window. She looks around
the neighborhood before kissing him firmly on the mouth.
SHERRY
Hey Yeah?
SHERRY
Take me to that motel. Like you
wanted.
JIM
Right now?
SHERRY
Easy, tiger. Come by after school.
I'll leave Darryl with the sitter.
JIM
Three twenty-five.
SHERRY
Three twenty-five.
EXT. HILLSIDE ROAD -- DAY
VROOM! JIM roars past us in his new RED FERRARI CONVERTIBLE
EXT. ITALIAM RIVIERA (REAR PROJECTIOH) CONTINUOUS
JIM wears a BLACK SUIT and hip HRAPAROUND SUNGLASSES as he drives. He
lights a cigarette. Behind him is a cheesy dated REAR PROJECTION Of a
curvy MOUNTAIN ROAD. Next Stop: portofino!
JIM (VO)
What had blossomed between Sherry and
me was too real, too powerful to deny.
For the first time in years, I felt free
and alive!
EXT. MILLARD HIGH PARKING LOT DAY
JIM'S Ferrari heads up the driveway and into his assigned space He
opens the Ferrari door.
JIM'S FOOT touches the pavement - not a shiny Salvatore Ferragamo
loafer but a worn out Dexter.
WIDE -
JIM is back in his own clothes, and his car has reverted to a Ford
Escort in need of a wash. He heads toward the school.
INT. HILLARD LIBRARY -- DAY
JIM enters the library, walks among the stacks.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
So as you can imagine, my thoughts
weren't on the election that Monday
morning.
JIM takes a BOOK from the shelf
JIM (VO CONT'D)
My thoughts were only on Sherry, on how
perfect she felt inside. There was a
special poem I wanted to read to her
later, at the motel, as she lay next to
me.
Jim flips through the book and finds the poem he seeks. His lips move
silently.
JIM'S VOICE (VO CONT'D)
Close, close the lovers keep. They stay together in their sleep. Close
as two pages in a book That read each other in the dark..
Suddenly -- a grating VOICE from the loudspeakers.
VOICE (OS)
Mr. McAllister to the Principal's
Office. Mr. McAllister to the
Principal's office.
JIM smacks the book closed
INT. WALT ' S OFFICE - DAY
LISA FLAMAGAN - her face streaked with tears from outrage and
confusion.
LISA
It's not fair. It's not fair
Paul sits next to Lisa on the vinyl sofa. He wants to console her,
but he doesn't know how.
PAUL
I just don't think anybody would do
something like that on purpose. It must
have been some kind of mistake. Like a
maintenance thing.
JIM enters.
WALT
Jim, where the hell have you been?
JIM
Nowhere. I don't have class until
second period.
WALT
Even tried you at home. We've got a
situation here.
LISA
If Paul loses tomorrow, it's not fair.
There has to be another election, with
posters.
JIM
What's the problem?
LISA
Didn't you see?
WALT
Somebody tore down their posters.
LISA
Those posters cost a lot of money we
don't have I There's no time to make
any more posters, there's no --
WALT
We'll get to the bottom of it.
PAUL
(to Lisa)
We still have some extra ones, don't
we? Maybe we can just --
LISA
It was Tammy I That's who it was.
PAUL
Oh, no, hey. Like I said. Tammy
wouldn't... she...
WALT
Well, that speech she gave -- it was
pretty, you know, pretty out there. But
we'll get to the bottom of it. Don't
you worry. Mr. McAllister is going to
see to that. Right, Jim?
JIM
(his thoughts
elsewhere)
Oh yeah, you bet.
LISA
She should be expelled. Or worse!
WALT
You two just go back and focus on your
studies. Mr. McAllister's going to
handle this.
INT. CHEMISTRY CLASSROOM DAY
A BUNSEN BURNER --
as a VIAL containing blue liquid is held to the flame. The solution
magically changes from blue to yellow.
Wearing goggles, Tracy holds the beaker with chemist's tongs Her two
LAB PARTNERS observe.
The classroom door and a STUDENT approaches the teacher, MR. BECKMAN,
to deliver a note.
MR. BECKMAN
Tracy?
Tracy looks up through her goggles.
INT. MILLARD HALLWAY DAY
LONG TRACKING SHOT . - of Tracy as she leaves the classroom. AS
she walks through the .desolate halls and descends a flight of stairs,
she holds her head high, suggesting a serene, almost regal confidence.
TRACY (VO)
When I arrived at school that morning,
I was shocked to find that one of my key
banners had been removed by vandals. I
noticed that a few of my rival's posters
had also been tampered with. Of course,
I was outraged, but one day before the
election is not the time to lose your
head over a couple of posters. When
you're in the public eye, attacks like
that just come with the territory.
Finally she reaches the
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE DAY
Upon seeing Tracy, MISS LINDA BEEDER, the "They 're-all-my-kids office
administrator, points wordlessly to an open door of a conference room.
JIM
is inside.
JIM
Tracy. Come on in. And shut the door
behind you.
She goes in and closes the door in our face.
INT. LITTLE CONFERENCE ROOM -- DAY
Tracy is seated in a chair. JIM hovers above her, alternately leaning
on a desk and pacing.
JIM
I guess you know why you're here
TRACY
If it's about the posters, I think it's
so awful. It's a travesty.
JIM
A travesty. Huh. That's interesting,
because I think you did it.
TRACY
Wait - are you accusing me? You're not
serious.
(indignant)
I can't... Mr. McAllister, we have
worked together on SGA for three solid
years and... I mean, I can't believe it.
I'm... I'm shocked!
JIM stares at her.
TRACY (CONT'D)
Mr. M., I am running on my
qualifications. I would never need to
resort to, you know, to vandalism like
a, you know... Plus, my own best banner
was torn down. Did I do that too?
JIM
Were you or were you not working in the
Watchdog office over the weekend?
TRACY
I was. So? Mr. Pecharda let me in.
As you know, with all my
responsibilities I often come in on the
weekend and have permission to do so.
But I left very early, around 6:30.
JIM
6:30. How do you know what time the
posters were torn down?
TRACY
I don't. I just know they were there
when I left. I'm giving you helpful
information is all. You know, instead
of wasting time interrogating me, we
should be out there trying to find out
who did this.
JIM
Okay, Tracy, so who do you think did
it? Whom should we "interrogate?"
TRACY
well, I don't know. It could have been
anybody. There are a lot of, you know,
subversive elements around Millard. You
know, like Rick Thieson and Kevin Speck
and those burn-outs. Or Doug Schenken -
what about him? Or what about Tammy
Metzier? Her whole thing is being anti-
this and anti-that.
JIM shifts gears
JIM
You're a very intelligent girl, Tracy.
You have many admirable qualities. But
someday maybe you'll learn that being
smart and always being on top and doing
whatever you need to do to get ahead,
and yes, stepping on people to get
there, well, there's a lot more to life
than that. And in the end, you're only
cheating yourself.
TRACY
Why are you lecturing me?
JIM
This isn't the time or the place to get
into it, but there is, for just one
example, a certain former colleague of
mine, who made a very big mistake, a
life mistake. I think the lesson there
is that, old and young, we ail make
mistakes, and we have to learn that our
actions, all of them, can carry serious
consequences. You're very young, Tracy
underage, in fact -- but maybe one
day you'll understand.
TRACY
I don't know what you're referring to,
but I do know that if certain older and
wiser people hadn't acted like such
little babies and gotten all mushy,
everything would be okay.
JIM
I agree. But I also think certain
young and naive people need to thank
their lucky stars and be very, very
grateful the whole school didn't find
out about certain indiscretions which
could have ruined their reputations, and
chances to win certain elections.
TRACY
And I think certain older persons like
you and your "colleague" shouldn't be
leaching after their students,
especially when some of them can't even
get their own wives pregnant. And they
certainly shouldn't be running around
making slanderous accusations.
Especially when certain young, naive
people's mothers are para-legal
secretaries at the city's biggest law
firm and have won many successful
lawsuits. And if you want to keep
questioning me like this, I won't
continue without my attorney present.
JIM draws a long breath as he tries to control himself
JIM
Okay, Tracy. Have it your way.
There's a KNOCK. JIM and Tracy turn to see
TAMMY METZLER timidly poking her head in.
TAMMY
You wanted to see me, Mr. M.?
JIM
Just wait outside. Tammy.
TAMMY
Okay. But is this about the posters?
JIM
Possibly. Please just wait outside.
TAMMY
Okay.
(looking at Tracy)
Because I know who did it. So.. I'll
just be outside.
Tammy manages to squeeze in a naughty little smile before closing the
door.
INT. OUTER OFFICE DAY
Tammy sits patiently in a chair, bobbing to an unheard song. The door
opens, and Tracy emerges.
JIM
Tracy, don't go away. Come in, Tammy.
As Tammy and Tracy cross, Tracy speaks in a low voice but loud enough
for JIM
to hear.
TRACY
This ought to be good
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM -- DAY
Tammy sits facing Jim, cradling her backpack.
JIM
So... what do you have to tell me?
TAMMY
Well, this is hard for me, but I think
it's important to be honest. Don't you?
JIM
(impatient)
What is it. Tammy?
TAMMY
I'm the one. I did it. I tore down
Paul's posters.
JIM
Looks at her skeptically doesn't say a
word.
TAMMY (CONT'D)
I did it.
JIM
And when did you do it?
TAMMY
This weekend.
JIM
Exactly when?
TAMMY
I don't know. Yesterday. Sunday.
JIM
And how did you get in the school?
TAMMY
Door was open.
JIM
Which door?
TAMMY
I don't know. All I know is I did it I
JIM
I don't believe you.
TAMMY
I have proof.
She burrows in her backpack.
INT. OUTER OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS
Tracy stands up from her seat and manages to PEEK THROUGH THE WINDOW
of the conference room. She sees --
pulling out a handful of POSTER SHREDS from her backpack and handing
them to Jim.
Tracy turns away and covers her mouth with one hand.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM CONTINUOUS
THE POSTER FRAGMENTS in Jim's hands. TILT UP to Tammy really hamming
it up.
TAMMY
You don't know what it's like to grow
up in the shadow of an older brother
like Paul. it's always Paul, Paul,
Paul, Paul. Never Tammy. I'm only
Paul's little sister. You must be
Paul's little sister. He's so perfect,
and I'm so troubled. I hate him! I
hate him! And I tore down his posters,
It was a horrible, cowardly act, but I
did it,.. I did it... l did it... And
I'm not sorry...
JIM watches her performance until he can't take it anymore he's got
other fish to fry.
JIM
Final I don't know what your problem
is, but if that's the way you want it,
that's the way it'll be. I don't have
time. You're out of the election, and
I'm turning you over to Dr. Hendricks.
He throws the door open.
JIM (CONT'D)
Tracy?
INT. OUTER OFFICE CONTINUOUS
Tracy is frightened but still plays the indignant victim.
TRACY
Yes?
JIM
Looks like today's your lucky day
What does he mean?
TRACY
What do you mean?
JIM
You're off the hook. Tammy here has
confessed.
It takes Tracy a second to figure out how to react. But once she's got
it, she runs with it.
TRACY
I told you! I told you!
(pointing at Tammy)
You're going to pay for my banner!
JIM
That's enough, Tracy. Quit while
you're ahead, okay? I'll handle this.
(to Hiss Seeder)
Could you ask Walt to come in?
STAFFROOM DAY
JIM is feverishly TYPING.
JIM (VO)
The rest of the day was unbearable. I
kept smelling Sherry on my clothes and
on my fingers and I just couldn't wait
to get out of there.
He yanks the paper out of the carriage and hurries away.
INT. XEROX ROOM -- DAY
A PHOTOCOPY COLLATOR in operation.
JIM pulls sheets out and stacks them.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
I wanted everything to be perfect that
afternoon, so I decided to give myself a
little time to prepare during eighth
period.
INT. JIM'S CLASSROOM DAY
Students are settling into their seats. JIM breezes in, a sheaf of
papers fucked under his arm.
JIM
Pop quiz, everybody
The class groans.
JIM (CONT'D)
No whining. If you've done your
reading, this is an easy one.
JIM peels off a stack of papers for each row
JIM (VO)
I'd have exactly forty-eight minutes to
make all the arrangements.
JIM glances at the clock: 2:08
JIM
If you finish early, just sit quietly
and check your work. I'll be right
back.
POOF -- he's gone I
EXT. MILLARD HIGH DAY
TRACK WITH JIM as he SPRINTS toward the parking lot, fumbling for his
keys.
EXT. WALGREEN'S -- DAY
JIM exits with a bouquet of flowers and a plastic bag.
EXT. SAFARI MOTEL -- DAY
Jim's car speeds into the driveway and parks
INT. SAFARI MOTEL ROOM -- DAY
JIM opens the door, sets his things down, and gets to work.
THE SINK --
JIM dumps a bucketful of ICE and wedges in a bottle of cheap
CHAMPAGNE.
THE BEDSIDE TABLE -
JIM props up his flowers in the ice bucket and puts a small box of
Russell Stover's CANDY next to it. He unwraps the motel's plastic
cups and places them just so. Perfect.
JIM'S BOOK OF POETRY -- open to that special poem. He marks it with a
carnation.
UNDER THE BED --
Jim's face appears as he kneels down and slides the book into place,
ready for that perfect moment.
THE BATHROOM -
Where JIM is NAKED now, squatting in the bathtub, frantically washing
his undercarriage. He checks his watch.
EXT: SAFARI MOTEL ROOM DAY
JIM shuts the door and with jaunty confidence slips the key into his
pocket.
EXT. SAFARI MOTEL DAY
Jim's car speeds toward the street.
EXT. MILLARD HIGH PARKING LOT -- DAY
JIM gets out of his car and races back toward the school.
INT. MILLARD HALLWAY DAY
JIM skids around a corner.
INT. JIM'S CLASSROOM DAY
With feigned coolness, he saunters into class just as the BELL RINGS.
JIM
Okay, everybody, pass them forward.
Stephanie, put down your pen.
The class begins to rise.
JIM (CONT'D)
I'll see you all on Wednesday. And
don't forget to vote tomorrow.
FROM BEHIND - Jim's back has a large vulva-shaped patch of SWEAT
EXT. MILLARD HIGH PARKING LOT -- DAY
JIM hurries back to his car, weaving his way through students
EXT. SHERRY'S HOUSE -- DAY
JIM pulls to a stop in Sherry's driveway.
INT. JIM'S CAR
JIM checks his watch: 3:24 turns into 3:25
Bingo
EXT. SHERRY ' S HOUSE DAY
JIM'S FINGER on the doorbell. DING-DONG.
JIM waits, rings again. Ho answer. He knocks. No one. He tries the
door. Locked. Maybe she's out back. He walks around the house to --
EXT. SHERRY'S BACKYARD CONTINUOUS
It's a lovely little backyard. Springtime flowers bloom. Bees buzz
among the peonies.
JIM opens the gate, approaches the back door, and knocks.
JIM
Sherry I
He rears back and aims his yell toward the second floor.
JIM (CONT'D)
Sherry I It's Jim!
No response. He tries the door. It's locked. JIM cranes his neck for a
last look at the house. As he starts to leave, he calls out one final
time, not really expecting a response.
JIM
Sherry
Suddenly A WASP STINGS him above his right EYE
JIM (CONT'D)
Oww! Fuck! Jesus fuck!
Cursing and holding his head, JIM stumbles out the gate
INT. SAFARI MOTEL LOBBY - DAY
Through the glass windows, we see Jim's car pull into the lot and
park. JIM enters the lobby. His eye is puffy and red.
A MOTEL EMPLOYEE watches TV behind the counter
JIM
By any chance, has a woman shown up in
the last half-hour or so? Maybe she was
looking for me.
EMPLOYEE
Nobody's come in here looking for
anybody. Just you.
JIM
Are you sure?
EMPLOYEE
(indicating Jim's
eye)
You okay?
INT. SAFARI MOTEL ROOM DAY
THE TELEPHONE - as JIM punches in Sherry's number.
JIM holds the phone against his ear and the champagne bottle against
his eye.
JIM
Sherry, it's me. Are you there? Pick
up. Okay, it's 4:32. I came by at 3:25
like we said and waited, but you weren't
there. Anyway, I hope you're okay --
I'm worried about you. So now I'm just
at the... at the place we talked about.
Suite 219. So I'm here. Everything's
all set. You can just come over. Can't
wait. Okay. Bye.
EXT. SAFARI MOTEL DAY
TIME LAPSE - as the sky darkens, the motel's NEON SIGN turns on.
JIM now descends the motel stairway carrying his Walgreen's sack. He
puts the key into the drop box and gets in his car.
INT. METZLER KITCHEN -- NIGHT
Dick Metzier and his wife JO are at the breakfast table Tammy sits
across from them, her eyes lowered.
DICK METZIER
I don't get it. What you have against
your mother and me, against your brother
Paul, is completely beyond me. And your
mother is extremely upset, she's at the
end of her rope. Your behavior gets
crazier and crazier and wilder and
wilder, and who knows what the hell else
you're doing out there that we don't
even know about?
TAMMY
Dad, I
DICK
(jabbing his
finger)
Don't you smartass me! Don't you dare
smartass me! You just shut your mouth I
(taking a breath)
Now your mother and I have had a long talk
with Halt Hendricks --- we just got off
the phone with him at home. You know, he
doesn't want you back at Millard. He's
fed up with you. Fed up! And I don't
blame him!
JO
Dick... Dick,..
DICK
What?
JO
(calmly)
Tammy, now we've come to a decision.
He just think it would be best --
DICK
You're going to Catholic school next
year. You're going to Sacred Heart.
Maybe they'll straighten you out!
ANGLE FROM UNDER THE TABLE - Her head low. Tammy SMILES to herself
EXT. JIM'S HOUSE NIGHT
JIM'S car pulls into the driveway.
INT. JIM AND DIANE'S KITCHEN NIGHT
JIM enters the back door and sets his satchel down in the usual place.
He opens the refrigerator, grabs a beer. As he closes the door,
something catches his eye. He reaches inside and throws a plastic
container away. Rooting around noisily, he finds other things to
dispose of. Suddenly --
A BABY CRY stops him cold.
JIM stiffens, his good eye widening as the horrible truth sinks in.
He carefully closes the refrigerator and tiptoes toward the living
room.
INT. LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS
Jim's face slowly appears around the corner, bad eye first. Finally,
he's able to see --
SHERRY AND DIANE
together on the living room sofa, staring at him. Their eyes are red
from crying. Little Darryl squirms in Sherry's lap.
Caught, JIM emerges from his hiding place. No one speaks. Finally, he
looks down, sucks in air, blows it out again, nods a little.
JIM
(very softly)
Okay
He turns to leave, and nobody stops him.
EXT. JIM'S HOME -- NIGHT
JIM wanders out the front door and stands in his driveway, bewildered
and alone. The camera slowly CRANES UP, eventually looking down on
him from a great height.
JIM (VO)
As I walked out of my home that
evening, unsure if I'd ever return, my
entire life in question, I somehow
discovered within myself a place of
perfect peace. Oddly, in my solitude I
felt more than ever a sense of communion
with every human being - past, present
and future. Because no matter what we
tell ourselves, no matter what illusions
of friendship and family we create, each
of us is always and forever profoundly
alone.
INT. TRACY'S BEDROOM NIGHT
FROM OVERHEAD - Tracy slides out of her bed and kneels beside it
TRACY
Dear Lord Jesus, I do not often speak
with You and ask for things, but now I
really must insist that You help me win
the election tomorrow, because I deserve
it and Paul Metzier doesn't, as You well
know. l realize that it was Your divine
hand that disqualified Tammy, and now
I'm asking that You go that one last
mile and make sure to put me in office
where I belong, so that I may carry out
Your will on Earth as it is in Heaven.
If elected I promise that I will pray
more often. Okay? Amen.
EXT. TAMMY'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT
FROM OVERHEAD --
Tammy wears a white t-shirt and underwear and kneels at her bedside.
TAMMY (VO)
Dear God, I know I don't believe in
you, but since I'll be starting Catholic
school soon, I thought I should
practice. Let's see... what do I want?
I want people to be nicer to each other.
I want Lisa to realize what a bitch she
has been and feel really bad and
apologize for how she hurt me and know
how much I still love her. In spite of
everything, I still want Paul to win the
election tomorrow, not that cunt Tracy.
I also want a really expensive pair of
leather pants... and someday I want to
be really good friends with Madonna.
Love, Tammy
INT. PAUL'S BEDROOM
FROM OVERHEAD -- Paul lies in bed looking at the heavens beyond his
ceiling,
PAUL (VO)
Dear God, thank You for all Your
blessings. You have given me so many
things, like good health, nice parents,
a nice truck, and what I've been told is
a large penis, and I'm very grateful.
But I sure am worried about Tammy. In
my heart I still can't believe she tore
down my posters, but sometimes she does
get so weird and angry. Please help her
be a happier person, because she's so
smart and sensitive, and I love her.
Also, I'm nervous about the election
tomorrow, and I guess I want to win and
all, but I know that's totally up to
You. You'll decide who the best person
is, and I'll accept it. And forgive my
sins, whatever they may be. Amen.
FADE OUT
INT. JIM'S CAR -- NIGHT
JIM sits parked outside of Sherry's house, a SLURPEE held against his
now grotesquely swollen eye. He is so tired and pain-ridden that he
practically gasps for breath.
JIM (VO)
Sherry never came home that night. I
know, because I spent the entire night
in her driveway.
INT. TRACY'S KITCHEN -- DAWN
Tracy and her mom are hard at work frosting cupcakes.
TRACY (VO)
Mom and I got up at five AM, and
together we custom-iced three hundred
and fifty cupcakes.
CLOSE ON A CUPCAKE - as "PICK FLICK" is written on it with a yellow
icing tube.
MRS. Flick cheerfully performs her task. She hums.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
I remember she was so happy, like there was nothing in the world she'd
rather be doing. Besides me and her job, I guess my mom doesn't have
much of a life. She hasn't dated anyone since Frank, and she hardly
ever buys new clothes for herself or travels.
TRACY
Mom?
MRS. FLICK
Hmmm?
TRACY
I think I'm going to lose today
MRS. FLICK
What are you talking about? This time
tomorrow, you'll be president
TRACY
You really think so?
Mrs. Flick puts an arm around her daughter
MRS. FLICK
Tracy Flick's a winner.
EXT. SHERRY'S HOUSE DAWN
Jim's car has not moved from its spot on the driveway. Its windows are
now fogged. A LOUD GARBAGE TRUCK rumbles by.
INT. JIM'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
Reclined in his car seat, mouth open as he sleeps, JIM is awakened by
the truck. His breath steams. His eye has turned bluish. He tries to
wipe the condensation from the windshield, but it's on the outside.
EXT. SHERRY'S DRIVEWAY -- CONTINUOUS
JIM opens the door and looks around -- no sign of Sherry's car. He
stiffly walks to the side of the garage and unzips his pants to pee.
Now cradling his head on the roof of his car, JIM gathers what little
strength he has, gets in, and tries to start the cold engine.
JIM (VO)
I had no choice but to go home. I
needed to shower, get fresh clothes,
explain what I could to Diane. But what
was I going to say? That our marriage
had become a charade? That making love
with Sherry had given me a vision of a
better life?
THE TAILPIPE finally coughs out a cloud of exhaust
INT./EXT. JIM'S CAR DAWN
JIM drives, bleary-eyed. He creeps along his tree-lined middle-class
block.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
Then again, maybe I could slip in and
out without waking her up.
JIM slows to a stop, looks with dread at his home
EXT. JIM'S HOUSE CONTINUOUS
On the front porch sits A GYM BAG. JIM approaches, stares numbly at
the bag. Drawing a long breath, he bends over and picks it up.
Attached is a NOTE reading: "Don't come in."
EXT. MILLARD HIGH DAWN
At the foot of the main walk to the school, Tracy and her mother are
setting up a CARD TABLE covered with little pink cakes.
Jim's Ford Escort chugs its way through the fog and comes to a stop.
Looking like a war refugee, JIM emerges from his car carrying the gym
bag and heads toward school.
TRACY
(chirping)
Good morning, Mr. M.
JIM stops, turns slowly, regards mother and daughter with a crazed,
one-eyed, uncomprehending stare.
TRACY (CONT'D)
(holding one out)
Looks like you could use a cupcake!
JIM takes it wordlessly. AS he heads up the walkway, he eats it in
two huge bites, like a feral animal.
TRACY (CONT'D)
(calling out)
What's wrong with your eye? Are you
OK?
INT. BOYS' LOCKER ROOM -- DAY
IN THE SHOWERS JIM scrubs himself as if to wash his whole life away.
JIM (VO)
Cupcakes. Jesus Christ. Cupcakes? My
life was crumbling, and I was expected
to care about these ungrateful kids and
their pathetic little dreams. As if my
only purpose in life were to serve them.
JIM
(mocking)
Mr. McAllister. Mr. McAllister.
Somebody tore down my posters. It's not
fair. It's not fair. Can I have an A?
Can I have a recommendation? Can I?
Can I?
AT THE MIRROR JIM adjusts his tie, tries to smooth his wrinkled shirt.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
Well, fuck them. Didn't I have my own
life? Didn't I have my own dreams?
He coughs up phlegm and spits it into the sink
JIM (VO CONT'D)
Cupcakes
INT. MILLARD HALLWAY DAY
JIM exits the BOYS' LOCKER ROOM door and bumps into Mr. Beckman.
MR. BECKMAN
Hey, Jim. Big day today
JIM
(putting on a
smile)
Oh, yeah. Big day.
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE DAY
MISS BEEDER of the school office is at the P.A. MICROPHONE. Walt is
behind her. She looks over her shoulder, and Walt gives her the go-
ahead.
MISS BEEDER
Attention, everyone. We have an
important announcement from our
principal. Dr. Hendricks.
Walt gives Miss Beeder a courtesy smile and takes the mike
WALT
Good morning, students. It, uh,
behooves me to inform you of an
important change in today's elections.
Effective this morning...
INT. TEACHERS' OFFICES DAY
BALLOT AFTER BALLOT -- as a black magic marker crosses out Tammy's
name.
JIM sits at his desk and carries out his absurd task. He stops and
stares. His thoughts wander far, far away.
WALT (OS CONT'D)
. .. sophomore Tammy Metzier has
been... Metzier has been determined
ineligible - I repeat: ineligible -- for
SGA president. You may not vote for
Tammy Metzier. All other candidates are
eligible. Now please pay attention to a
very important, uh, audio-visual
presentation.
(irritated,
thinking he's off)
Linda, who typed this thing? I said I
need all caps....
INT. TV AND MILLARD CLASSROOMS DAY
CLOSE ON A TV-- mounted in the corner. An educational video is just
beginning. Host CLARK NAYLOR sits on the edge of a desk in a generic
office set.
During the video, we cut to CLASSROOMS, where from the TV's point of
view, we see the students watching: English class shop class, gym
class, biology class.
CLARK (ON TV)
Hello, students, I'm Clark Naylor of
Joslyn's Educational Resources. It's
election day, and how you vote will make
a big difference in the activities,
events, and perhaps even the policies of
your school. Over the past few days or
weeks, you've heard candidates for the
various offices make their speeches and
tell you where they stand. You've
probably seen their posters. Maybe
you've even had a chance to speak with
them personally.
CLOSE-UPS OF STUDENTS
Now replace the wider shots of classrooms. Photographed as though
from a Soviet propaganda film, some students look up nobly and
attentively, while others watch with dead eyes and open mouth, and
still others goof off.
CLARK (ON TV CONT'D)
Well, today marks the end of
campaigning, and now the spotlight turns
to you. Voting is your privilege and
your responsibility. Remember, no one
needs to know for whom you've voted.
That's between you. . . and you.
An AFRICAN-AMERICAN TEENAGER walks up to Clark.
CLARK (ON TV CONT'D)
Now I'd like to introduce you to Tony.
Tony's going to show you how to cast
your vote. Are you ready, Tony?
TONY (ON TV)
I think s0
CLARK (ON TV)
Good. Let's get started
INT. MILLARD HALLWAY NEAR OF-PICE -- DAY
JIM slinks down the hall and ducks into a PHONE BOOTH. He fishes
change out of his pocket and dials. We hear the echo of the video
emanating from all the classrooms.
SHERRY'S VOICE (VO)
Hi. You've reached the Novotnys. We're
not around, but we'll call you back real
soon. Have a nice day.
JIM
Are you there? Sherry, are you there?
It's Jim.
(suddenly angry)
Why did you do that? I trusted you.
Completely. You've ruined my life. Do
you know that? Do you realize that?
Huh? Do you? You've ruined Diane's
life. You ruined my life. is that what
you wanted?
(recovering)
I'm sorry. It's just... I'm going nuts
here. Okay, all right, so... Really,
I'm sorry. I just think we should talk,
okay? I love you.
INT. TEACHERS' OFFICES -- DAY
JIM crosses out more ballots, this time with perverse intensity.
JIM (VO)
If only my own life could be corrected
so easily, with nice fat black lines
drawn neatly through my sins.
CLOSE ON TAMMY'S NAME -
as it is blackened. We WIPE with the motion of the magic marker to:
INT. LITTLE SALLY ANN SHOP DAY
SWISH!
The curtain of the dressing room is drawn back, and there's Tammy. She
beams and walks toward --
A THREE-PANEL MIRROR,
where she takes herself in, dressed in her new Catholic schoolgirl
UNIFORM.
The SALESLADY converses nearby with Jo Metzier.
SALESLADY
And Sacred Heart is such a good school.
Excellent school. The public schools are
going downhill, as far as I'm concerned.
JO
Well, we've had good luck at Millard,
but for this one it's time for a change.
Tammy spins and admires the flip of the skirt.
SALESLADY
So what do you think? Sacred Heart has
the prettiest. They have that nice hint
of purple.
TAMMY
(lying)
I hate it.
JO
You're just going to have to get used
to it.
TAMMY
Please, morn. Please don't make me go
to Sacred Heart. I beg you.
JO
(to saleslady)
We'll take two.
INT. MILLARD HIGH CAFETERIA DAY
Makeshift POLLING BOOTHS are set up just outside the cafeteria. Behind
two tables sit TWO TEACHERS who cross out voters' names on big master
computer lists. Tracy stands in line, not-so-patiently waiting her
turn.
TRACY (VO)
When the time came to cast our votes, I
stood in line just like everyone else.
She finally reaches the front of the line.
TEACHER
Hi, Tracy
TRACY
Tracy Enid Flick.
TEACHER
I know.
Tracy goes into a VOTING BOOTH and quickly hands her ballot. sophomore
PHIL CHOY stands nearby with his CAMERA.
TRACY
Phil you ready?
PHIL
Ready.
Tracy exits the booth and heads toward the BALLOT BOX. She inserts
her ballot halfway and freezes, smiling. Phil snaps a picture, but -
PHIL
Just a second. My flash.
Tracy remains perfectly still while Phil fiddles with his camera. A
STUDENT stands behind her, waiting to put his ballot in the box.
STUDENT
Come on, Tracy.
TRACY
(through her smile)
Just wait.
FLASH! Phil gets his shot and Tracy drops her ballot in.
TRACY
Thanks, Phil.
On her way out Tracy passes Paul at the end of the line. He gives her
an enthusiastic THUMBS UP.
PAUL
Way to go, Tracy! Isn't this exciting?
TRACY
(awkward)
Yeah.
PAUL
Hell, good luck!
TRACY
(reluctant)
Good luck to you too, Paul.
PAUL
Thanks!
INT. VOTING BOOTH Paul scans his ballot, struggles with his decision.
PAUL (VO)
It's so weird. DO people always just
vote for themselves? 'Cause looking at
my own name on the ballot, I just... I
don't know, I just felt like it's not
right to vote for yourself.
THE BALLOT - as Paul's pen puts an "X" next to the name "Tracy Flick
INT. MILLARD HALLWAYS DAY
THE BALLOT BOX is being carried through the halls and up some stairs
by Larry Fouch and three other STUDENT COUNCIL MEMBERS. The music
suggests the weighty importance of its contents and the sacred mission
of its bearers.
INT. JIM'S CLASSROOM - DAY
JIM is hunkered over his desk. He's a wreck: dark, dark circles under
his eyes; his hair didn't dry right -- frizzy here, matted there.
And he's near tears.
Larry Fouch and his retinue enter cheerfully
LARRY
Okay, Mr. M.
Larry drops the ballot box on Jim's desk
JIM
What? Right. So let's start counting.
LARRY
Well, I thought that... well, the way
it always works is that SGA president
does a count, then the SGA advisor, you
know, for the two independent counts.
JIM
Fine. So do your count. Start with
president, and I'll be right back.
LARRY
You have the key, Mr. McAllister.
JIM doesn't understand at first, then
JIM
Right. I know.
JIM proceeds to sort through his cluttered desk drawers but can't seem
to find the key. The council members exchange concerned looks as
Jim's search becomes frenzied.
LARRY
Are you okay, Mr. M.?
ANOTHER STUDENT
What happened to your eye?
JIM
I'm fine. It's just a bee sting, a
simple little everyday bee sting. Some
people, they get stung, it's no big
deal. Me, I swell up. Okay?
JIM emerges from the drawer wielding a VISE GRIP. He goes to the box
and TEARS the entire hardware assembly off. Holding the mangled lock,
he turns to the students, who look back STUNNED.
JIM (CONT'D)
I just want to get this over with, so
we can have the assembly and go home.
We don't have much time until eighth
period. I have other things going on,
too, you know.
LARRY
Okay. Yeah. We know
JIM
All right. I'll be back
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE SCHOOL OFFICE DAY
JIM slinks up to a PAY PHONE, inserts a coin, dials
SHERRY'S VOICE
(cheery)
Hi. You've reached the Novotnys. We're
not around, but we'll call you back real
soon. Have a nice day.
JIM it's me again. I'm sorry for all the calls. But Sherry, if I
could just hear your voice, if you'd only acknowledge that I...
SHERRY (OS)
(picking up phone)
What do you want, Jim?
JIM
You're there.
SHERRY (OS)
Yeah. I'm here.
JIM
Sherry... I love you.
SHERRY (OS)
(loud exhale)
Don't say that. You know it's not
true.
JIM
It's the only true thing I know
anymore.
SHERRY (OS)
We made a mistake. Let's not make it
worse.
JIM
A mistake? That was no mistake.
SHERRY (OS)
I was lonely. You took advantage
JIM
Me? I took advantage of you? You
hugged me! You kissed me! You're the
one who --
CLICK.
INT. MILLARD HALLWAY -- DAY
It's PASSING PERIOD, and the halls are jammed with students at their
lockers and walking to class.
JIM is walking quickly back to his classroom. He passes Paul.
PAUL
Hey, Mr. M. Big day, huh?
Jim doesn't even hear.
INT. CLASSROOM DAY
Larry is just finishing his count. The ballots are on a desk in front
of him, neatly organized into three piles. JIM enters.
JIM
(impatient)
What d'you got?
LARRY
I'm not supposed to tell. Not until
you've counted too. We're each supposed
to make an independent count.
JIM
You're kidding, right?
LARRY
I thought those were the rules, Mr.
McAllister. If they've changed in any
way --
JIM
Larry, we're not electing the fucking
Pope here. Just tell me who won.
Jim's use of profanity scares Larry, and he responds reluctantly
LARRY
It's a squeaker, Mr. M. I've got Tracy
by a vote. Just one vote.
Jim, who hasn't cared about any of this today, suddenly takes note. He
stares blankly at Larry as the news sinks in.
LARRY (CONT'D)
Mr. M.?
JIM
Huh. Okay. Well, I guess I'd better
do my count.
Jim-scoops up the three piles of ballots and takes them to his desk.
INT. HISTORY CLASS DAY
CLOSE ON DALE -
a junior honors student. He is thinking. The wheels are turning,
grinding. Finally --
DALE
Sputnik.
MR. FLAGG is lecturing, really trying to make history come alive.
Tracy takes notes, but she is noticeably distracted.
MR. FLAGG
Right. And what year was that?
DALE
1958?
MR. FLAGG
Almost. 1957. So the point here is
when we found out about Sputnik, we got
really scared. It seemed like no matter
what we had and kept secret, they could
develop it too. A-bombs, h-bombs,
rocket ships. And this time we were
behind them. So -- February 1961,
Kennedy tells Congress and the American
people he wants to go to the moon. May
1961, the Apollo program is announced...
Tracy just can't take it anymore. She abruptly stands up, takes the
GIANT HALL PASS off the lip of the blackboard, and starts to leave.
Mr. Flagg gives her a small nod.
INT. RAILWAY DAY
Tracy nears a room, a special room. She slows down and peeks in the
window of the door. She sees --
LARRY FOUCH sitting at the back of the classroom, staring front.
Tracy presses her face to see what Larry is staring at --
JIM at his desk counting ballots
LARRY catches sight of Tracy in the window.
TRACY crosses her fingers by her ears and gives a questioning look
LARRY sneaks a guilty look at Jim, absorbed in his counting. Then,
against his better judgment flashes Tracy a quick, furtive double
THUMBS-UP.
TRACY suddenly disappears from the window.
IN THE EMPTY HALLWAY - Tracy pogos with unbridled joy
TRACY (VO)
You know that moment when they announce
the winner of a beauty pageant? When
Miss Texas or whoever suddenly realizes
she's Miss America, and all she can do
is scream and weep and hug the losers?
I had my moment in the hallway that
Tuesday afternoon with no one to hug but
myself.
She pulls herself together enough to peek through the window of the
OTHER DOOR to Jim's classroom, the window behind which JIM
is still busily doing his count.
INT. JIM'S CLASSROOM -- DAY
JIM counts out the last of the ballots, mouthing the numbers to
himself.
JIM (VO)
I was at the end of my count when it
happened. I'd come up with exactly the
same numbers as Larry: Tracy had won
the election by a single vote, 256 to
257. I was about to announce my tally
when...
JIM looks up and sees
TRACY in the window, her face exploding with joy. She FREEZES.
We move closer to Jim in SLOW-MOTION. What actually occurs in a
split-second is suspended in time
JIM (VO CONT'D)
The sight of Tracy at that moment
affected me in a way I can't fully
explain. Part of it was that she was
spying, but mostly it was her face.
Looking at her, you might think she was
a sweet, innocent teenage girl. But she
wasn't sweet. And she wasn't innocent.
She was selfish and cynical and
ambitious and thought nothing of
destroying the lives of others to get to
the top. who knew how high she would
climb in life, how many people would
suffer because of her? I had to stop her
now.
Tracy UNFREEZES and darts out of sight. JIM glances at Larry. Larry is
writing in a notebook.
JIM'S HAND
creeps up from his lap and onto the pile of TRACY VOTES. His fingers
nimbly count two ballots and pull them off the desk.
JIM coughs as beneath his desk he CRUMPLES THE BALLOTS into a ball and
drops them into the wastepaper basket.
JIM
Larry?
LARRY
(looking up)
Yeah?
JIM
I think we've got a problem.
INT. WALT HENDRICKS'S OFFICE DAY
Walt is just finishing counting the ballots on his desk. Larry and JIM
stand over him.
WALT
253... 254... 255. I get the same as
you Jim. Looks like Paul's our
president.
LARRY
No way I It doesn't make sense.
WALT
Sorry. My figures work out exactly the
same as Jim's. 256 for Paul, 255 for
Tracy.
LARRY
And 290 "disregards," right?
WALT
If you say so.
JIM
Mostly Tammy fans
LARRY
See, it doesn't add up. There are only
801 ballots but 803 people voted. Two
votes are missing. Check the register.
JIM
He's right. Two people must have
pocketed their ballots. Usually it's
more.
LARRY
But, they were there I counted 803
votes.
JIM
It happens, Larry. People make
mistakes.
LARRY
I didn't make a mistake. Every vote was
there when you sac down
WALT
Whoa! Easy, Fouch. I don't like where
you're going.
LARRY
I'm telling you. Dr. Hendricks, every
vote was accounted for.
JIM
(stern)
Larry? We've got twenty-five minutes
until the assembly, and we still have to
do counts for VP, Treasurer and
Secretary. Mr. Hendricks and I have both
verified the numbers, and unless you can
come up with the ballots you claim are
missing -
LARRY
But, Mr. M. -
WALT
Fouch, that's enough! End of story.
INT. MILLARD HIGH GYMNASIUM -- DAY
AN ASSEMBLY - The students are taking their seats on the bleachers.
ON THE FLOOR
are all the candidates: three for secretary, two for treasurer, one
for vice-president, two for president.
PAUL AND TRACY sit side-by-side. Paul seems a little overwhelmed by
the whole thing. Tracy leans over and offers her hand.
TRACY
Paul, I just want you to know that no
matter how this turns out, you've run a
wonderful campaign. It's been fun
competing with you.
PAUL
Yeah, you too, Tracy. I'm just glad
it's over.
TRACY
Yeah.
CLOSE ON PAUL
PAUL (VO)
You know, I don't understand why
everybody bad-mouthed Tracy all the
time. She was always super- nice to me.
JIM approaches the microphone
JIM
If we could get started. People! Once
the winners are announced, we can all go
home, okay?
The students quiet down
JIM (CONT'D)
Some contests are so well fought that
is seems unfair for someone to win and
someone to lose. I think that's the
case with all the candidates you see
before you today. All of them are
highly qualified and embody the, uh, the
integrity we expect from our school
leadership.
OS TRACY - Jim's voice momentarily recedes.
TRACY (VO)
Act surprised. Walk slowly to the
podium. Be modest. Thank them for this
incredible honor.
JIM
That said, the whole point of an
election is to choose winners, and that
you have done. We'll begin with
president.
JIM pulls a folded paper from his back pocket
JIM (CONT'D)
Let me add that this was an
extraordinarily close race. It's my
pleasure to announce the next president
of Millard High School.
Tracy just can't wait. Smiling, she STANDS UP.
JIM
Paul Metzier!
The crowd breaks into applause -- and laughter
ON TRACY - AS she sits, her smile belies her horror and humiliation
Paul begins his acceptance speech. We cut alternately to a thrilled
Lisa; a stunned Tracy, tears forming at the corners of her eyes; and
to JIM, who watches the events with shifty eyes, his mouth dry and
tasting of metal.
PAUL
Geez, you guys, thanks a lot. I mean,
wow, thanks. I promise to do my best
and really do a good job and be a good
president. And I want to thank Lisa
Flanagan for being a super campaign
manager. And I just want to say that I
think Tracy would have made a great
president too and that she really
deserves a big hand.
The auditorium erupts into applause and whistles, and JIM takes the
microphone again.
JIM
And now, for vice-president.
EXT. COCO'S BAKERY/RESTAURANT DUSK
In the growing darkness, the restaurant radiates its distinctive
orange glow. The parking lot is nearly empty.
INT. COCO'S BAKERY/RESTAURANT DUSK
JIM sits alone at a booth by the window, finishing a slice of berry
pie. He gets the attention of a WAITRESS and holds up his coffee cup.
JIM
Could I get a...?
As JIM gets his warm-up, in walk the Metziers: Paul, Dick and Jo. JIM
notices them as they wait to be seated. He wishes he were
invisible.
As a PERKY HOSTESS leads the family to a table, Paul spots Jim. Here
it comes.
PAUL
Wow! Mr. McAllister! This is so wild.
We came to celebrate my victory, and I
can't believe it. Here, these are my
parents.
JIM stands up awkwardly.
DICK METZLER
(extending his
hand)
Hi. Dick Metzier. My wife --
PAUL
This is great.
JIM
(extending his
hand)
JIM McAllister.
JO METZLER
(extending her
hand)
JO Metzier. You know, Paul just thinks
the world of you. Oh, if you could just
hear him...
DICK
Yeah, say, apparently you've really
come behind him, really helped him out
there with the student council thing and
all.
PAUL
I never would have ran if it wasn't for
Mr. M.
JIM
Paul doesn't need any of my help. He's
going places. You should be very proud.
JO
We are
DICK
Having a problem with your eye there?
JO
Dick.
JIM
Just a bee sting.
DICK
You ought to get that looked at. Shot
of cortisone or something.
JIM
Thanks, I'll be fine.
DICK
Anyway, we're awful sorry about what
went on with our other one, you know,
our Tammy.
JO
We were mortified...
JIM
Oh, she's not a bad girl. She'll come
around.
JO
... but we've had some good talks, and
I think we're sorting things out. We're
starting her at Sacred Heart in the
fall.
JIM
Good school.
DICK
Say, you're all alone, why don't you
join us?
PAUL
Yeah!
JIM
Oh, no. No. I'm just finishing up
here, and I've got to get home.
PAUL
(to his parents)
Why don't you guys go sit down, okay?
I'll catch up in a minute? I want to
talk to Mr. M. about some important
stuff.
DICK
All right. Well, sure nice to meet
you.
JO
So nice
JIM
You bet.
The Metziers go, and- Paul slides in across from Jim.
PAUL
So, Mr. M, I was starting to think
about ideas for next year. I was
thinking it would be cool to have, like
a carnival. With rides. And, you know,
it could be for, like. Muscular
Dystrophy.
JIM tries to smile and seem attentive, but we sense his profound
fatigue and his profound sadness.
PAUL (CONT'D)
And on Halloween we could have a
haunted house. But a really good
haunted house, not like those cheesy bad
ones. You know, more like the radio
station ones. This one would be really
scary. And for Homecoming -- well, you
know how last year's theme was -
JIM
Paul... Paul.... We'll have plenty of
time to get into all this later. A
whole year, in fact. Right now I just
need to finish my pie and get home.
PAUL
Oh, okay. Yeah, sorry.
The wind out of his sails, Paul gets up and is about to go when
PAUL (CONT'D)
Just one more thing. So, Mr. M., uh,
do you think Tracy's going to be okay?
I saw her face after the assembly, and I
think she's taking it pretty hard.
JIM
Don't worry about Tracy. She'll be
fine.
INT. TRACY'S BEDROOM NIGHT
CLOSE ON TRACY -
her face drained and pallid, her eyes red and bleary: she is exhausted
from crying.
TRACY
One vote... one vote
She falls again headlong again into the throes of despair. Her mouth
contorts into a rictus of agony, and there issues an almost feral cry
of pain. Her anguish grows convulsive.
Barbara Flick comes in and sits on the bed. She's carrying a
PRESCRIPTION BOTTLE and a glass of milk.
BARBARA
Why don't you take a couple of my
pills, darling? You'll feel better.
Tracy takes the pills and sips the milk weakly. Her mother kisses her.
BARBARA (CONT'D)
Don ' t worry. .. don ' t worry. . .
sshhhhh... that's it, baby... that's it,
darling. Everything's going to be fine.
She lays Tracy on the bed, and Tracy begins to quiet. Barbara kisses
her again and rises to leave. At the door she pauses to add a few
final words of comfort.
BARBARA (CONT'D)
Maybe you needed more posters, honey.
Or if you'd taken my suggestions about
your speech. I don't know. We'll figure
it out.
EXT. MCAILISTER HOME NIGHT
JIM stands at his own back door, beaten and ashamed. He lifts a hand
and knocks. After a moment the door opens, and there is Diane.
JIM
Diane, I...
Diane looks at JIM in silence. Her face reveals nothing, but there is
a deadness in her eyes. After a moment, she turns back inside,
leaving the door open.
JIM follows his wife inside, closes the door. The camera moves to
peek in the kitchen window, from where we watch JIM and Diane but
cannot make out anything they say.
JIM (VO)
I don't know how Diane and I made it
through that night, but we did. Our
marriage had gone right to the brink,
but in the end I guess it was saved by
one simple fact: we truly loved each
other. So we made a commitment to begin
the painful process of piecing our lives
back together. The worst was over; the
mistakes of the past were behind us.
INT. MILLARD HIGH JIM'S CLASSROOM -- NIGHT
A WASTE BASKET peeks out from under Jim's desk.
We hear a distinctive rhythmic squeak, and a shadowy head appears in
the window. Keys jingle. The door opens, and Lowell turns on the
lights. He approaches the waste basket and slides it out.
EXT. MILLARD HIGH TRACK DAY
FROM OVERHEAD - JIM circles the track.
ON THE GROUND -- JIM does pushups. Then sit-ups.
JIM (VO)
The next day held the promise of a new
beginning. After all, what harm had
really been done? No one was dead.
INT. MILLARD OFFICE DAY
Now all clean and refreshed and whistling a merry tune, JIM pops in to
check his box, giving a wave to Miss Seeder.
JIM
Hi, Linda.
JIM continues to whistle as he looks through his mail.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
Life would go on, and I would certainly
be a stronger and wiser person from the
experience.
MISS BEEDER
Uh, Jim?
JIM
Hmm?
MISS BEEDER
Walt needs to see you.
JIM
Oh. Okay.
Still absorbed in his papers, JIM heads over to Walt's door.
INT. WALT'S OFFICE CONTINUOUS
JIM
You rang?
JIM stops cold. Walt is not alone. Barbara Flick and a bleary-eyed
Tracy are there. So are Larry Fouch, Ron Bell, and Lowell the janitor.
Prominently displayed on Walt's desk are TWO CRINKLED BALLOTS. JIM
takes an eternal few seconds to absorb what is happening.
WALT
Mr. McAllister, I hope you can help us
clear something up.
BARBARA
Look at his face! He knows he's been
caught. Look at his face!
(to Jim)
Your ass is grass, Mister!
LARRY
You said I was a liar You're the
liar, you're the --
WALT
Larry, you just take it easy
All turn and stare at Jim. Come to think of it, he does look awfully
guilty.
INT. SPANISH CLASS-- DAY
MS. HOY leads the class in recitation. Paul responds along with his
companeros.
MS. HOY
Yo --
CLASS
pierdo.
MS. HOY
Tu
CLASS
pierdes.
MS. HOY
El/ella -
CLASS
pierde.
A STUDENT AIDE enters the classroom and hands a note to the teacher,
who upon reading the note looks up at Paul
MS. HOY
Senor presidente?
The class laughs fondly. Paul looks around, beaming with
embarrassment and pride.
MS. HOY (CONT'D)
Quieren verte en la oficina.
PAUL
Huh?
INT. MILLARD HALLWAY DAY
Paul walks down the hall, a bounce in his step on this fine spring
morning.
PAUL
Senor presidente. Yo soy senor
presidente... El grande presidente...
PAUL (VO)
I don't know why, but finding out there
was a mistake and I hadn't won the
election after all didn't bother me that
much. Winning had seemed kind of unreal
anyway. I guess I should have voted for
myself. Oh, well.
Paul reaches the --
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE CONTINUOUS and enters Walt's office. Everyone
is there
WALT
(standing up)
Take a seat, son. We've got something
hard to tell you.
PAUL
Is Tammy okay?
WALT
She's okay. It's about the election.
Walt closes the door in our faces. We hold on the door.
JIM (VO)
After Paul got the bad news, Walt asked
for a few minutes alone with me. It was
very simple, really. I offered my
resignation, and he accepted. Very
quietly, it was all over for JIM
McAllister at Millard High - twelve
years of hard work down the drain.
The door opens revealing that only wait and JIM remain. The office
staff is hushed as JIM the Zombie Cyclops emerges into the office and
walks somberly toward Miss Boeder. His voice quavers at half-volume.
JIM
Walt will be speaking with you about
this, but I need you to find someone to
take over my classes. The lesson plans
for the rest of the year are in my top
right drawer.
MISS BEEDER
Okay, Jim. I understand.
JIM
Thanks. Well. I'm going home now.
EXT. HILLARD HIGH (REAR PROJECTIOH) -- DAY
As JIM moves toward the parking lot, the school recedes in an odd REAR
PROJECTION that suggests he is floating. The MUSIC here reinforces the
gravity of the moment, the inevitability of his fate.
JIM stops walking, and a disembodied STEEPING WHEEL floats into his
hands. The scene behind changes to:
INT./EXT. JIM'S CAR REAR PROJECTION - DAY
The city passing by outside is another strange REAR PROJECTION. JIM
grips the floating steering wheel and makes turns wildly out-of-sync
with the background.
JIM (VO)
I don't remember driving home, or much
of anything that happened in the next
few days.
JIM lets go of the steering wheel, and it drifts away. JIM turns his
back to camera to face -
INT. MCALLISTER HOUSE (REAR PROJECTIOH) -- DAY
JIM drifts toward his house, and it absorbs him through the front
door.
INT. MCALLISTER LIVING ROOM - DAY
We're no longer in rear-projection land: reality has caught up with
Jim. As he walks across the room, he strips off his shirt, shoes,
socks, and finally pants. Left only in his underwear, he walks through
the house and out into the -
EXT. MCALLISTER BACKYARD DAY and flops down in the grass, facing
the sky.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
There were news stories in the paper
and on television, former students
calling with their support, endless
hours of doing nothing, thinking
nothing.
A shadow falls over Jim's face, and a hand offers him a glass of iced
tea. Grateful, JIM takes it, and looks up at -
DIANE, her head blocking the sun.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
Diane stood by me through the entire
humiliating ordeal, in a way, it sort of
evened things out between us.
Diane leaves. JIM looks up at the sky.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
Soon school was over, and summer
stretched out in front of me as it
always had. Funny how the rhythm of the
school year remains ingrained in you for
life. in mid-June we found out Diane was
pregnant.
FADE OUT
UNDER BLACK we hear the opening bars of a bouncy TIJUANA BRASS SONG.
EXT. METZLER CEMENT PLANT NIGHT
PAUL IS DANCING,
twisting to the music at a PARTY, a giant grin on his face, a big
sombrero with tassels on his head. Behind him we can see an enormous
illuminated GRAVEL CONVEYOR. SUPER-IMPOSED: "ONE YEAR LATER."
PAUL (VO)
Senior year was great I Sure, I didn't
get to play ball or be president, but I
got elected homecoming king and prom
king anyway. I got into Nebraska like I
wanted and early-rushed Phi Delts. At
the end of the year me and my buddies
threw a hitching Mexican party down at
the cement plant. Shit, that was a good
party. That was a good party!
LATER --
Paul is at a KEG, pumping it up and serving himself a beer. He takes
a sip, seems to grow pensive.
PAUL (VO CONT'D)
The only really bad thing about senior
year was Lisa. Right before Christmas
she dumped me. One minute she's totally
in love with me and then boom she's
going out with my football buddy Randy.
Paul looks over at
LISA dancing suggestively with RANDY
Paul looks sad, takes another gulp, waves at unseen friends.
PAUL (VO CONT'D)
Sometimes I wonder what would've
happened if I'd actually won the
election. Maybe my whole life would be
different. Like I might never have gone
to Yosemite with Greg and Travis.
Paul takes a BIG GULP and looks into camera.
PAUL (VO CONT'D)
Or maybe I'd be dead.
FADE OUT
UNDER BLACK we hear a distinctive AIRY HISS.
INT. SACRED HEART BATHROOM DAY
Tammy takes a big toke off a JOINT.
TAMMY (VO)
Catholic school was great!
Tammy and JENNIFER, a Sacred Heart schoolmate, are jammed into a
bathroom stall.
TAMMY (VO CONT'D)
I mean, the teachers kind of sucked,
and they were supposedly way more
strict, but you could get away with
murder.
Tammy hands off the doob to Jennifer, who takes a huge hit.
TAMMY (VO CONT'D)
The best thing about Sacred Heart was
meeting Jennifer.
Jennifer looks at Tammy. Tammy looks at Jennifer
JENNIFER MONTAGE -
accompanied by the early '70's song, "Jennifer." SUPER-8 style
glimpses of Tammy and Jennifer in the Sacred Heart hallways, Jennifer
in the park, Jennifer dancing in Tammy's room, and finally, Jennifer
SWINGING.
TAMMY (VO CONT'D)
All those feelings I had for Lisa were
just preparing me for the real thing.
Jennifer and I are soul mates, and we're
never, ever, ever going to be apart.
FADE OUT
UNDER BLACK
we hear the MURMUR of a small crowd, interrupted by the BANG, BANG,
BANG of a GAVEL.
TRACY (VO)
Senior year was very productive for me
and full of personal achievement.
INT. STUDENT COUNCIL OFFICE DAY
Tracy officiates a MEETING. Next to her at the head table is Jerry
Raynor and other council members.
TRACY
Order. Order. Order I Can we vote on
this? Those in favor.
TRACY (VO)
On top of a very successful student
council year, I got into Cornell like I
wanted, with scholarships, and I was in
the top 7th percentile of my graduating
class.
TRACY Approved
EXT. PARK DAY
Tracy walks along the edge of a pond on this overcast day, Her arms
are crossed, and she wears an oversized woolen sweater. Wind blows
softly through her hair.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
But sometimes I got lonely, and I'd
think about Dave. I missed our talks.
Maybe it could have worked out between
us. I don't know.
INT. REAL VALU HARDWARE DAY
Wearing the red vest and "Ask me" button of a Real Valu foot soldier,
Dave stands above a case of SPRAY PAINT. He is stamping prices on
every cap.
TRACY (VO CONT'D)
I wonder what he's doing now. Maybe he
finally finished his novel
INT. MILLARD CAFETERIA - DAY
It's ANNUAL distribution time, and crowd of excited students are lined
up to get their precious book of memories. Many have already received
theirs and are crowded around dining tables, gleefully exchanging bans
mots.
Tracy takes her annual and quickly opens it to the INDEX.
CLOSE ON TRACT'S NAME - followed by a whopping list of page references
TRACY (VO)
When the yearbooks came out, I was on
almost every page.
EXT. MILLARD PARKING LOT - DAY
Tracy walks outside hugging her yearbook and sees
PAUL AT HIS TRUCK, surrounded by supplicants.
Tracy stops for a moment and watches. She gathers her courage and
heads toward him. Paul doesn't even notice her, so occupied is he
with his friends and admirers.
TRACY
Paul, will you sign my yearbook?
PAUL
Sure, Tracy.
Paul takes the book, efficiently finds the page with his picture, and
goes to work.
TRACY
Can I sign yours too?
PAUL
Oh, yeah, sure.
(to a friend)
Hey Nolan, give my book to Tracy when
you're done*
Nolan finishes and hands the book over. Tracy turns to the front
pages and finds them completely filled, as are the end pages. Now she
looks for her picture. When she finds it, it's almost completely
obscured by part of some ASSWIPE 'S long, illegible, exclamation
point-filled message. Finally, she locates an available space and
begins to write.
TRACY (VO)
I thought very carefully about what to
write. Because despite everything that
had happened with the election, I really
wished him well. I even signed it...
CLOSE ON - Tracy writing: "Love, Tracy" beneath her inscription
Tracy takes Paul's book back to him. He's already working on another
annual and barely looks up when he swaps with her.
PAUL
Thanks, Tracy.
Tracy starts to walk away and Paul stops her
PAUL (CONT'D)
Hey, Tracy I..
She turns around expectantly
TRACY
Yes, Paul?
PAUL
Have a great summer. And good luck at
college.
TRACY
(genuinely moved)
Thanks. You too. It was great working
with you.
Tracy opens the book as she walks and stops when she finds
AN ALMOST BLANK PAGE with Paul's puny inscription at the bottom:
Have a great Summer! Good luck at college Paul Metzier'
INT. TRACY'S ROOM DAY
Tracy looks at herself in a mirror, as though dispassionately
assessing her own face. Then she begins to put on lipstick.
TRACY (VO)
After graduation, I don't know. ;
somehow felt empty inside. I guess high
school just seemed so meaningless now
and I couldn't wait to get out of Omaha.
Next year I was going to make all new
friends. Smarter, more ambitious
friends. It was time to move on. There
was nothing left for roe here. I just
had one more thing to take care of.
FADE OUT
UNDER BLACK comes the sound of a BUSY COMMERCIAL STREET.
JIM (VO)
After two months of sitting on my ass
and two months helping out at my
brother-in-law's travel agency...
EXT. GRIFFITH SATURN DAY
A standard-issue car dealership: banner-draped lot, glass enclosed
showroom.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
...I landed a position at a Saturn
dealership.
INT. GRIFFITH SATURN DAY
All those cars and that new-car SMELL
IN HIS CUBICLE JIM is typing at his desk across from a 55-ish MALE
CUSTOMER.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
I never thought I'd end up selling
cars, but it's not so bad. I like the
Saturn philosophy -- it really is a
different kind of company.
A FRAMED SNAPSHOT on Jim's desk shows Diane and him with the LITTLE
ONE.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
I'm just relieved to have a steady
income now that there are three of us.
INT./EXT. GRIFFITH SATURN DAY QUICK MONTAGE
OUTSIDE ON THE LOT JIM saunters toward a client reading stickers.
INSIDE THE DEALERSHIP JIM explains features of a CROSS-SECTIONED
SATURN
THE CLIENT IS IN A DRIVER'S SEAT while JIM leans in from the opposite
window, pointing out dashboard features.
JIM (VO)
Actually, it wasn't so difficult making
the transition from teaching to selling.
It's like I tell my customers: my role
is just to educate people so they can
make informed decisions.
THE GLASS DOORS TO THE SHOWROOM OPEN, and JIM watches a satisfied
customer drive slowly away in a new Saturn Twin Cam.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
When I send someone home with a new
unit, I feel a genuine sense of pride.
INT. GRIFFITH SATURN EMPLOYEE BREAK ROOM DAY
The room consists of mismatched sofas and chairs around a coffee
table. There's a TV that no one watches.
Sleeves rolled up and tie loosened, JIM eats a sandwich next to TWO
OTHER SALESMEN and a FEMALE ACCOUNTANT who like him are eating lunch
and watching TV. NO one speaks.
JIM (VO CONT'D)
So that's about it. Maybe I'll get
back to teaching someday, but for the
time being, I guess I'm pretty happy
where I'm at.
A SALESMAN pokes his head in the door.
SALESMAN
(to Jim)
Hey, Professor. There's a young gal
out here asking for you.
JIM
Oh
JIM chews quicker and wipes his mouth as he stands up, straightens his
tie.
SALESMAN
(low, as JIM
passes)
She's a real hot tamale.
INT. SHOWROOM DAY
JIM walks among the shiny new cars and sees the back of an attractive
young woman in a red dress and heels. She turns around: it's Tracy.
JIM is truly surprised.
TRACY
Hello, Mr. M.
JIM
Hello, Tracy.
JIM waits for Tracy to lead the way, but she doesn't
JIM (CONT'D)
So what brings you here?
TRACY
I'm looking at new cars.
JIM
Oh. New cars. I see. Well, you came
to the right place
TRACY
My mother's buying me a new car for
college.
JIM
Huh. Right. College. Wow. Where are
you going? Where 'd you get into?
TRACY
Well, I got in everywhere I applied,
but Cornell is my first choice.
JIM
Good for you. Good for you
An uncomfortable pause. JIM shifts gears.
JIM (CONT'D)
So, are you looking for something
sporty or more practical?
TRACY
Sporty.
INT./EXT. THE SPORTY SATURN -- DAY
A test drive. JIM is in the passenger seat. Tracy nears the end of the
dealership's driveway.
TRACY
Where to?
JIM
Anywhere you want.
(checks his watch)
Just so long as we're not gone more
than a half-hour.
Tracy turns right. They drive a moment in silence.
JIM
Handles pretty good, don't you think?
TRACY
Yeah.
JIM
Plenty of pep, too.
TRACY
Uh-huh.
JIM
And this model comes with ABS and dual
air bags standard.
TRACY
That sounds good.
A silence
JIM
So Tracy?
TRACY
Yes?
JIM
Why are you doing this?
TRACY
Doing what?
JIM
Coming to see me. Are you trying to. .
humiliate me?
TRACY
Nooo. I just thought... l mean, I am
looking for a new car. But I just
thought, well, I'm going away soon, and
you'll be stuck here and, I don't know,
I just think maybe if things had been
different we might have been, well,
friends. Real friends. And then things
would be different. Don't you think?
JIM just looks at Tracy - it's so very odd
JIM
Well, I... I... that's very nice of
you.
TRACY
(excited)
I've got an idea.
Tracy suddenly signals and takes a right.
EXT. OMAHA STREET -- DAY
Tracy and JIM and the Saturn zoom by.
INT./EXT. SATURN -- DAY
Tracy takes a corner and pulls to a stop in front of a modest middle
class house.
JIM
What's this?
TRACY
My house.
Tracy sets the parking brake. Jim's eyes register a suppressed panic.
JIM
I don't understand. What's the deal?
Tracy looks deeply into Jim's eyes.
TRACY
I want you to do something for me.
JIM
Swallows, unsure what heaven or hell
awaits him.
TRACY
(getting out)
I just have to get something. I'll be
right back.
Tracy heads toward the house. JIM sits and waits. He scans Tracy's
house, notices the chipped and peeling paint, the rusting lawn
furniture, the bowed porch steps.
NOW TRACY opens the door and gets in. She carries her YEARBOOK and
gives it to Jim.
JIM
Oh, is this...?
(thumbing through
it)
God. First one of these I haven't been
in for a long time.
TRACY
Would you sign it for me?
Tracy reaches over the parking brake and flips the yearbook to the
blank pages at the beginning.
JIM
What a surprise.
TRACY
Take as much room as you want
JIM removes a pen from his breast pocket and uncaps it. He considers
what to write.
TRACY (CONT'D)
I'm scared, Mr. M. I kind of don't feel
ready for college.
JIM
You'll be fine.
TRACY
I hope so
JIM
You will.
CLOSE ON JIM
He looks at the yearbook. He looks at Tracy. He looks out the
windshield. It's all so odd.
CLOSE ON THE BLANK PAGE JIM begins to write:
"Dear Tracy,"
| screenplays |
Walking Dead 1. So Beautiful
**These chapters will all remain to be short and to the point, collected drabble's that glimpse into the life of Hallie and Daryl through their journey together. Reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!**
* * *
He had told himself he didn't have time for women. So when she walked into the camp the day after his brother was left he shouldered past the blonde with the green eyes and distanced himself from everyone. They were digging graves anyhow. Graves for those that were dead and gone, the ones that everyone else loved. He didn't want to help, not when the only person he had left was out there alone.
_Nothing can kill Merle, cept Merle._
He wished sometimes he could stomach his own words for the sanity.
He found himself down by the quarry, as far from them as possible. Water just below his booted toes he claimed a rock and took a seat, trying to see in the liquid below some kind of future. Maybe a sign from the man above, anything to make this feeling right. He didn't like the pain, didn't like the struggle within himself to understand why he couldn't just rip out the feelings and toss them below.
And there she was. Tall, curvy, and wild. Her blonde hair glided out of her t-shirt when she pulled it off. Her shorts caught on her knees, her underwear falling down to her toes. She fumbled with the clasp on her bra before folding it neatly on the other clothes she had. Not fifty yards away the girl stepped slowly into the water. He thought for a moment, as he watched her wade in the murky liquid, that she might walk on the water rather than sink into.
He was no stranger to the body, to the shape, to the touch, and to the taste. His brother had made him a man when he was young, but this was different. He was invading her privacy, the embarrassment crawling up his neck slowly as he rose silently and back peddled. He couldn't help but look back, turning slightly to take pictures with his memory.
When he returned they were packing. His eyes caught onto Rick's only to shoulder past the cop and gather his things. He took the time to pack up Merle's belongings as well, tucking his sleeping back away in his sack and discarding all of his things in the back of the pickup truck. When he kicked the engine to life and waited the passenger door opened. Green eyes, wet hair, shorts and t-shirt back into place she crawled in beside him, closing the door lightly.
"Name's Hallie." Her voice was sweet to the touch, her eyes sparking a fire inside him. He stared her down, visions of her body sliding into the water, breasts sinking under the surface slowly as she descended into the depths, swam across his eyes. Her grin was impish and he nodded, looking away.
"Daryl."
2. Hurts Instead
**These chapters will all remain to be short and to the point, collected drabble's that glimpse into the life of Hallie and Daryl through their journey together. Reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!**
* * *
She hadn't cried like the others. He watched her stand there in front of Jim, after having helped haul the man up the slope to the tree. She had crouched beside him when they got there, giving him a drink of water and a reassuring smile. She was light on her feet, leaning forward when he beckoned her and in no time rising.
Daryl found himself reaching out and touching her lightly on the small of her back to guide her down the hill. She didn't protest, the contact comfort as they climbed back into his truck to continue on. Dale had fixed the RV, everyone piling into it and giving Jim last glances before moving on.
He had watched her doze off earlier, the way she seemed to relax instantly when she finally sank into sleep. She had curled up in the remainder of the seat then, her head bumping his thigh only slightly. Visions of the lake plagued him and he had to look away from her.
"You figure we'll get there soon?"
"Should. Just ten more minutes." She nodded, hanging her arm out the window precariously as she stared at the scenery. Daryl preferred the silence over the words, finding comfort in being alone rather than in groups. The lack of Merle was both painful and nice, in that the man wasn't spouting off any more about his next high and where he was going to score next. Hallie seemed to like the silence too. She only spoke to him softly, asking questions that seemed to pop into her head and stick. She was good company. She couldn't sit still to save her life though, and he watched her every time she adjusted, moving closer and further away from him with each pose.
"We're not gonna find anything." She sighed, turning her head to him. He glanced over at her, lingering for a moment before returning to the road.
"Why you say that?"
"Cause the world has ended, and Rick doesn't want to see it." Daryl scowled, glancing over to see the very same look on her features. She huffed, moving closer to him yet, her leg pressing against his as she looked up at him. He felt crowded instantly, her light hand reaching out and touching his dirt caked arm. "Your brother is probably kicking ass somewhere out there. I'd like to meet him."
Daryl snorted, rolling his eyes and shrugging her hand off. She added a distance between them then, but didn't move away, only enough so they weren't touching. He had confided in her the truth of his brother, truths about the man's habit and his past that no one else knew. Ten minutes in a truck with the girl and he was already spilling his soul.
"Trust me, you don't wanna meet him, _sugar tits_." The nickname his brother would give her rolled off his tongue and he laughed when she screwed up her face in digust.
3. Till Morning Light
**These chapters will all remain to be short and to the point, collected drabble's that glimpse into the life of Hallie and Daryl through their journey together. Reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!**
* * *
Hallie blinked away the haze in her eyes as she sank into the chair that had been provided for her. Carol had handed her a beer not too long ago and it was already gone, the empty bottle standing claim for another. They were celebrating, locked up in the CDC with the doc, washing away all the fear that had settled in. She decided it would be ok to relax, her eyes drifting over to Daryl.
She didn't know what to think of him. He wasn't what she'd call nice, and his manners were rotten, but he meant well. His subtle remarks, his watchful eyes, his awkwardness. She all about died when he stood up with the bottle of whiskey in his hand and shouted BOOYAH. She was blaming the alcohol on her fit of giggles that wanted to bubble out.
"Looks like Glenn's getting all red." Hallie smirked; the young man in question shying away as he took another shot. Every time he emptied the glass someone filled it up, a vicious cycle that employed enjoyment. Lori had left the table a long time ago, Rick following behind her with Carl in tow. Hallie felt the dirt and grime on her skin as her stomach churn and figured a shower was finally in order. She had waited earlier while everyone else went.
She rose, excusing herself, and made way for the showers. It wasn't until she was in her room grabbing the fresh clothes Jenner had provided them that she noticed the shadow following her. She turned around to look up at Daryl, watching him taking another swig from the whiskey before sitting it down on his nightstand. They had decided to share a room, everyone else was doubling up and she wasn't exactly comfortable alone.
"Sure you can handle all that?"
"Positive." He sank down onto his mattress and dropped his head into his hands. She didn't want to think about what it was like to have lost a brother. She didn't know siblings'. "What're you doin?"
"Showering." He looked up at her through squinted eyes and she could already tell he would be regretting the alcohol in the morning. He looked different, sitting there in the darkness with the faint glow of the hall light. She walked towards him unsure, reaching out and placing a hand in his hair. He closed his eyes instantly, groaning when she scrapped her nails over his scalp slowly. She wasn't sure what she was doing, the air in her lungs getting caught when Daryl reached out and placed a hand on her thigh to steady himself. Each tug, each pull, he gripped her leg, fingers sliding under the hem of her shorts. When he sighed and took his hands off her, taking her hands from his scalp she felt frazzled, lost almost. He wouldn't look at her, his head tilting away as he lay back on his bed.
"Go shower." She nodded, taking a step back from him and letting out a shuttered breath. She gathered her things and left the room quickly, finding the showers and locking herself in. The water ridded her skin of dirt, but it couldn't remove the feeling. The sinking regret, the rejection deep inside. She wanted to run and hide, gather her things and sleep in the hall.
When the water turned cold she crawled out, letting herself drip dry in the cold. She used a towel to dry her hair, pulling on cloths.
Maybe he'd be asleep. She could hide her face from the shame, tuck away in the bed and act like it hadn't happened. The door was closed when she got there and she slowly opened it, making sure to not make a sound. She could see his outline where she had left him, tucked away on his bed. She put her things down quickly next to her bed and crawled in, huddling up next to the wall.
The rustle of sheets, the padding of his feet, and he was there, crawling in beside her. He didn't touch her at first, keeping inches between them. When he did he did it delicately, sliding his arm around her, and pulling himself to her. He wrapped around her slowly, pulling the sheet over himself, pressing his face against the back of her neck, he sighed.
4. It Isn't Over
**These chapters will all remain to be short and to the point, collected drabble's that glimpse into the life of Hallie and Daryl through their journey together. Reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!**
* * *
"It sets the air on fire. No pain. An end to sorrow, grief, regret. Everything." His voice wavered over the deafening silence in Hallie's ears. She could hear the beating of the door, the yelling, _the screaming_. Feet pattered around her as she stood painfully still, air pulling through her lungs as she tried to think.
Death. She hadn't thought much of it since all this started. Not a second of her mind had decided she was going to die. Through Kentucky, through Tennessee, through bits of Georgia, to here with these people. She'd never, not once, thought about death. Her stomach churned at the idea. What would it be like, to stop running, to stop fighting, _to stop starving_?
She distanced herself, moving away from the people she had bunked down with. Her feet carried her away down the hall, hands shaking as she steadied herself with the walls. Her room was just around the corner, the one she had fallen asleep in with Daryl, and the one she had woken up in alone. She closed her eyes and slipped inside, sinking down on her bed only to rise again.
She looked down at her things, carefully picking up her clothes and folding them neatly. What would it matter if her things were folded though? If she were to die, if the building were to burn, her clothes would surely go with them. She fretted, unfolding shirts quickly and shoving them away in her bag.
Her hands shook as the world blurred. Her heart beat as the air caught in her lungs.
He was there instantly, grabbing her bag and throwing it on his shoulder. He stuffed his things away quickly and stopped in front of her, saying something. She couldn't make out the words, couldn't hear him. His hands blurred in shapes in front of her, motioning for her to move, but why should she? She was already trapped; they were all trapped, why pretend?
She thought her legs were giving out so she closed her eyes. Gripping to whatever was in front of her as she felt her stomach drop and the world swirl. Wind whipping past her, slamming into her, she was panicked. She wanted to open her eyes, see the world burn in front of her as the fire engulfed her but she didn't have the guts. She could feel his unsteady breathing on her neck and she figured he was with her, burning in the fire as well.
Then the blast, the heat, the swirl, the pain. She screamed out, her back slamming into something, she didn't know what. His weight was on her, holding her still as he buried inside her. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, tucking away inside him as well, finding the fold of his neck and breathing him in.
"Are you guys ok?!" Rick's frantic voice cut over the ringing in her ears. Daryl moved, lifting himself off her and she finally peeled her eyes open to see a steering wheel. Pushing herself up frantically and clawing her way out Hallie stared at the fire she was sure she had been in. To her left Daryl and Rick spoke, eyes shifting around as they chipped their words short.
"Come on." He put a hand on her back like he had before and directed her to the truck. She couldn't take her eyes off the fire. The swirling heat radiating off it in waves, bristling over her flesh and causing discomfort in the Georgian summer.
She felt ashamed.
5. Change in Plans
**These chapters will all remain to be short and to the point, collected drabble's that glimpse into the life of Hallie and Daryl through their journey together. Reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!**
* * *
"What was that back there?" He had finally spoken, after two hours of driving into nothingness, no real direction on their plate, Hallie was sure his voice was lost on him. He'd look in her direction from time to time, words there, but they never came out. She glanced over, peeling her eyes open and blinking away the sun. She liked the silence.
She shrugged, choosing to ignore it. She refused to talk. They drove on in bitter silence, and when the RV pulled over Daryl jumped out of the truck and left her alone.
She watched his retreating figure with anger. She groaned, tipping over on the seat and stretching out. The summer heat was inside her, crawling on her belly and rolling around in her ribcage.
_What was that back there?_
She didn't know. The only response she had was "giving up". She had done what her momma and daddy had done years ago, and what her brother had done just a few months back. Resign all attempts at survival, curl up in a ball, and let the fire consume you. She scrunched up her face, rolling over on her side and burying her nose into the fake leather of the seat.
When the silence became too much to handle she sat up, regretting it almost immediately. The bodies shifted past the truck window and she shrank back in fear. Slowly she rolled off on to the floorboard. She could hear their hands sliding at the truck, curious at the movement they had seen but not curious enough to keep looking. When it was gone they were too, distracted by something else almost immediately.
Her stomach knotted up as she thought about the death she had left behind. Burning from the inside out sounded a hell of a lot more appetizing than being eaten alive. When the door handle jiggle, she perked up. She frantically searched, hands latching onto a baseball bat Daryl kept under the passenger seat. The door slowly opened.
Hallie pulled herself away and up, swinging at the walker when she was finally free of the cramped space. Its head bounded off the door jam before it dropped with a sickening crunch. Her feet carried her across the seat and down on the walkers body. She swung again at an approaching stray, keeping herself as quiet as possible as the body joined her new collection.
When the hand grabbed her from behind and yanked her back her weight went with immediately and they both toppled. Its arms encircled her and she tried to roll, the bat in her hands was all but useless as teeth snapped at her neck. It was then she realized giving up wasn't an option.
With all her force she rolled, getting the walker into sight and taking the bat to its head. She swung and swung, and swung, watching as his skull turned into a flattened disk and his brains dripped out. When she looked up Daryl was right there, his crossbow at his side. When he nodded she nodded, taking his hand when he offered to help her to her feet.
End file.
| fanfiction |
Two ships have been named Spirit of Discovery:
, a cruise ship of Cruise West
, a cruise ship launched in 2019 for Saga Cruises
Category:Ship names | wikipedia |
Q: Can't get value from array I'm trying to output the value of the email value of an array, but have problems doing so.
The array is based on json_decode()
This is the error I receive
Fatal error: Cannot use object of type stdClass as array in /home/.... line 57
JSON (value of: $this->bck_content)
{"email":"[email protected]","membership_id":"0","fname":"Kenneth","lname":"Poulsen","userlevel":"1","created":"2012-04-23 10:57:45","lastlogin":"2012-04-23 10:58:52","active":"y"}
My code
# Display requested user details
$details_array = json_decode($this->bck_content);
$value = $details_array['email'];
print $value;
A: You need to use the second argument to json_decode to force array structures on JS objects.
json_decode($this->bck_content, true);
This will make sure all JS objects in the json are decoded as associative arrays instead of PHP StdObjects.
Of course that is assuming you want to use array notation to access them. If you're fine with using object notation then you can just use:
$value = $details_array->email;
A: try this one
$value = $details_array->email;
or
json_decode($json, true);
or
$details_array = (array)json_decode($json);
what have you done wrong is writen in error description
| slim_pajama |
Harry Potter Broken Trust
**Heaven bend to take my hand, lead me through the fire**
**Be the long awaited answer to a long and painful fight**
_No.. no, please no_
**Truth be told I tried my best**
_Please don't let them be dead_
**But somewhere Ôlong the way I got caught up in all there was to offer**
_Why did I ever think that Peter should be their Secret-Keeper?_
**And the cost was so much more than I could pay**
_No... no, NO! No..._
If you had been in Godric's Hollow at about 10:30 PM, on Halloween of 1981, you would have seen a huge skull, glowing green, with a snake coming out of its mouth, hovering over a ruined house.
**Though I've tried I've fallen**
A large motorcycle parked outside the gate.
**I have sunk so low**
A young man kneeling in the ruins beside his best friend's body.
**I have messed up**
_Prongs... I'm so sorry_
**Better I should know**
_I never meant for this to happen_
**So don't come Ôround here and tell me I told you so**
_"What?! They're dead?!_
**We all begin with good intent**
Sirius could just imagine Moony's face when he found out... Shock... disbelief...
_Prongs... Moony..._
**When love is raw and young**
_We promised nothing like this would happen_
**We believe that we can change ourselves**
_He promised..._
**The past can be undone**
_Wormtail...that rat._
**But we carry on our backs the burdens time always reveals**
_Because James and Lily trusted him, they're dead, and Harry... Harry doesn't have any parents. Because I trusted him._
**In the lonely light of morning **
_I'll find him. It's crazy... but I'm the only one that knows..._
**In the would that would not heal**
And if you looked closer
**It's the bitter taste of losing everything I've held so dear**
You might see the young man crying.
**Heaven bend to take my hand**
**I've nowhere left to turn**
**I'm lost to those I thought were friends **
**To everyone I know**
**Oh they turn their heads embarrassed **
**Pretend that they don't see **
**That it's one missed step one slip before you know it **
**And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed...**
"HE'S NOT DEAD!"
-Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
**Story based on "Fallen" by Sarah McLachlan**
End file.
| fanfiction |
the electromagnetic structure of the nucleon has long been a topic of fundamental interest in nuclear and particle physics .
first - order nucleon electromagnetic properties are commonly parameterized in terms of elastic form factors @xcite . at low values of four - momentum transfer squared , @xmath2 , these functions have a simple interpretation as the fourier transforms of the nucleon charge and magnetization densities in the breit frame .
their precise experimental determination is important both for testing fundamental theories of hadron structure and for the analysis of other experiments in the field , such as parity violation measurements @xcite that are designed to probe the strangeness content of the nucleon .
the proton form factors have been determined with good precision at low @xmath2 using rosenbluth separation of elastic electron - proton cross sections , and more recently at higher @xmath2 using a polarization transfer technique @xcite .
the neutron form factors are known less well because of the zero electric charge of the neutron , causing its electric form factor to be small , and experimental complications such as the lack of free neutron targets and difficulties associated with neutron detectors . over the past two decades , with the advent of much improved experimental facilities , the precise measurement of both the neutron electric form factor , @xmath5 , and the magnetic form factor , @xmath4 , has become a focus of activity . until recently
, most data on @xmath4 had been deduced from elastic and quasi - elastic electron - deuteron scattering .
inclusive measurements of this type suffer from large theoretical uncertainties due in part to the deuteron model employed and in part to corrections for final - state interactions ( fsi ) and meson - exchange currents ( mec ) .
the sensitivity to nuclear structure is reduced by measuring the neutron in coincidence , @xmath3h@xmath6 @xcite , and , further , by taking the ratio of cross sections of @xmath3h@xmath6 to @xmath3h@xmath7 at quasi - elastic kinematics @xcite .
uncertainties of less than 2% in @xmath4 have been achieved in the region @xmath8 ( gev / c)@xmath3 using the latter technique @xcite . despite this high precision
, there is significant disagreement between the results of @xcite and those of the more recent experiments @xcite of up to 10% in the absolute value of @xmath4 .
an explanation has been suggested in @xcite , but the issue has remained contentious .
to clarify the situation experimentally , additional data on @xmath4 , preferably obtained using a complementary method , are highly desirable .
inclusive quasi - elastic @xmath1 scattering provides such an alternative approach @xcite .
in contrast to deuterium experiments , this technique employs a different target and relies on polarization degrees of freedom .
it is thus subject to completely different systematics . on the other hand , due to the more complex physics of the three - body system
, the precise extraction of nucleon form factors from polarized @xmath9he measurements requires careful modeling of the nuclear structure and of the reaction mechanism .
recent advances in faddeev calculations @xcite have brought theoretical uncertainties of @xmath9he models sufficiently under control to allow such studies in the non - relativistic kinematic regime .
a precision comparable to that of the deuterium ratio experiments can be achieved using the polarized @xmath9he technique @xcite .
the use of polarized @xmath9he targets was pioneered at mit - bates @xcite and mainz @xcite . in @xcite ,
@xmath4 was extracted for the first time from quasi - elastic inclusive scattering from polarized @xmath9he , although with a large statistical uncertainty . in this paper
, we report on the first precision measurement of the so - called transverse asymmetry @xmath0 , which is sensitive to @xmath4 , in the inclusive reaction @xmath1 .
the results were obtained in hall a at the thomas jefferson national accelerator facility ( jefferson lab ) .
brief reports of these data have appeared previously @xcite .
this paper presents the data analysis and evaluation of model uncertainties in much more detail .
in addition , the analysis has been slightly refined .
the results presented here are final .
the neutron magnetic form factor @xmath4 was extracted at @xmath10 to @xmath11 ( gev / c)@xmath3 in steps of 0.1 ( gev / c)@xmath3 @xcite .
in addition , high - precision asymmetry data in the @xmath9he breakup region were obtained at @xmath2-values of 0.1 and 0.2 ( gev / c)@xmath3 @xcite .
the threshold data provide a stringent test of the above - mentioned faddeev calculations because they cover a kinematical region where the proper treatment of the reaction mechanism is particularly important . at the @xmath10 and @xmath12 ( gev / c)@xmath3 kinematics ,
@xmath4 was extracted using a state - of - the - art faddeev calculation @xcite .
at these low @xmath2 , relativistic effects are small , and the non - relativistic faddeev results have been shown to be in good agreement with a diverse set of few - body data , including our own @xmath9he breakup threshold data @xcite .
on the other hand , the extraction of @xmath13 from our @xmath9he asymmetry data at higher values of @xmath2 with the same precision as that achieved at low @xmath2 would require a more advanced theory that includes both an accurate treatment of reaction mechanism effects ( fsi and mec ) and proper relativistic corrections ( and possibly other refinements , such as @xmath14-isobar excitations , presumed to be small at our kinematics ) .
unfortunately , such a comprehensive calculation is not available at the present time , and efforts to extend the theory are only in the beginning stages .
for example , full inclusion of fsi has been investigated for the two - body channel in @xcite .
the hannover group has carried out a coupled - channel calculation of @xmath1 that accounts for fsi and @xmath14-isobars @xcite , unfortunately also with limited success at higher @xmath2 . nonetheless , we observe that the size of fsi and mec corrections to inclusive scattering data near the top of the quasi - elastic peak has been predicted to diminish sharply with increasing momentum transfer @xcite .
hence , it appears likely that the plane wave impulse approximation ( pwia ) , in which the knocked - out nucleon is described by a plane wave while the spectator pair is fully interacting , is reasonably accurate at the higher @xmath2-values of this experiment . a quantitative estimate of the @xmath2-behavior of deviations from the pwia , in particular of the size of fsi corrections ,
could be obtained by performing a @xmath15-scaling analysis on the present @xmath9he asymmetry data @xcite .
such an analysis may be carried out in a future publication .
taking the pragmatic point of view that the pwia is currently the best available theory describing inclusive quasi - elastic scattering from polarized @xmath9he at @xmath16 ( gev / c)@xmath3 , we have extracted @xmath13 from our higher @xmath2 data @xcite using pwia . while we do not attempt to go beyond the pwia by computing corrections for the various effects omitted in this approximation , we provide estimates of the uncertainties of the results in considerable detail . despite the relatively large theoretical uncertainties in this approach , our results are in good agreement with the recent deuterium ratio measurements from mainz @xcite in the same @xmath2-region .
figure [ fig : scatt ] depicts inclusive scattering of longitudinally polarized electrons from a polarized nuclear target .
the four - momentum of the electrons before and after the reaction is @xmath17 and @xmath18 , respectively .
the four - momentum transfer to the target is @xmath19 , with the usual definition @xmath20 .
the experiment measured the spin - dependent asymmetry @xmath21 , where @xmath22 is the differential cross section for quasi - elastic scattering of electrons with helicity @xmath23 from polarized @xmath9he .
it can be expressed in terms of nuclear response functions , @xmath24 , and kinematic factors , @xmath25 , as @xcite @xmath26 where @xmath27 and @xmath28 are the polar and azimuthal angles of the target spin direction with respect to the three - momentum transfer vector , @xmath29 , as shown in figure [ fig : scatt ] . by choosing @xmath27 = @xmath30 or @xmath31
, one can select the transverse asymmetry , @xmath0 , or the longitudinal - transverse asymmetry , @xmath32 .
the nuclear response functions for inclusive quasi - elastic scattering have been obtained through both pwia and faddeev calculations .
these calculations will be discussed briefly next . in the pwia , it is assumed that a single nucleon within the target nucleus completely absorbs the momentum of the virtual photon and leaves the interaction region as a plane wave .
the remaining two - nucleon subsystem still undergoes interaction .
exchange current effects are ignored .
the target nucleus , in our case @xmath9he , however , is described by the solution of the schrdinger equation with realistic nuclear forces .
relativistic effects are included by using relativistic energy conservation and a relativistic electron - nucleon cross section .
the nuclear current tensor is calculated as the product of the nucleonic current tensor and the nuclear spectral function , which contains the nuclear structure information ( see for example @xcite ) .
the spin - independent part of the spectral function has the well - known interpretation as the probability of finding a nucleon of certain momentum and isospin in the target nucleus @xcite .
the pwia formalism available in the literature is largely but not necessarily fully covariant .
expressions for the matrix elements of the nucleonic current tensor and the spin - dependent nuclear spectral function have been derived in @xcite .
the spectral function can be computed numerically from the nuclear wave function , which in turn can be obtained from a model of the nucleon - nucleon ( nn ) potential . with the nucleonic current tensor and the nuclear spectral function at hand ,
expressions for the functions @xmath24 , required in ( [ eq : asym ] ) , can be derived and evaluated numerically @xcite .
the pwia results presented in the paper were calculated following @xcite .
the calculation was based on a @xmath9he wave function derived from the argonne av18 nn potential @xcite and used the hhler nucleon form factor parameterization @xcite . in the faddeev approach @xcite ,
the coordinate - space schrdinger equation for three nucleons with two - nucleon interactions is decomposed into three separate equations @xcite . in momentum space ,
the three faddeev equations can be written as three integral equations .
the kernel in each equation involves only the interaction between one pair of the nucleons .
solutions are obtained numerically .
the faddeev decomposition of the three - body ( and four - body ) problem has proven to be a very useful computational tool in studies of light nuclei . with regard to @xmath9he , the faddeev formalism has been applied to unpolarized @xmath33 and @xmath34 electrodisintegration @xcite with full inclusion of all final - state rescattering processes .
this calculation was subsequently extended to electrodisintegration of polarized @xmath9he @xcite .
a further extension was made by including proper treatment of meson - exchange currents @xcite according to the riska prescription @xcite , which relates nn forces and meson - exchange currents in a model - independent manner through the continuity equation . in @xcite ,
only the dominant @xmath35- and @xmath36-like meson exchange terms shown in figure [ fig : mec ] were considered .
the effect of @xmath14 currents has also been studied and found to be small ( see section [ sec : thresholdasym ] ) .
the derivation of the nuclear response functions in the faddeev approach is described further in @xcite . in this work ,
the resulting expressions were evaluated numerically using the framework of @xcite for a large number of kinematical points corresponding to the acceptance regions covered by the experiment .
the underlying @xmath9he wave function was obtained using the bonnb nn potential @xcite .
again , the hhler parameterization @xcite was used to model the nucleon elastic form factors .
the faddeev calculation does not include relativistic effects . because the @xmath9he nuclear spin is carried mainly by the neutron , the spin - dependent response functions @xmath37 and @xmath38
can be expected to contain a large if not dominant neutron contribution at quasi - elastic kinematics @xcite .
comparison of equation ( [ eq : asym ] ) with the corresponding expression for scattering from a free nucleon leads to the expectation ( within pwia ) that @xmath39 where @xmath40 and @xmath41 are the effective polarizations of the neutron and the protons , respectively , in @xmath9he . because the proton spins largely cancel , we have @xmath42 .
effective polarizations have been calculated _
e.g. _ in @xcite .
since @xmath43 , the proton contribution to the transverse response @xmath37 is small , and hence @xmath37 is essentially proportional to @xmath44 . based on these arguments , the asymmetry @xmath0 defined in ( [ eq : asym ] ) can be written as a function of the neutron magnetic form factor , @xmath45 where @xmath46 and @xmath47 at low @xmath2 where the above assumptions hold . by comparing @xmath0 data with predictions for @xmath0 from a calculation
, one can extract @xmath4 .
the detailed procedure will be discussed in section [ sec : ffextraction ] .
for completeness we mention that , because @xmath48 , the proton contribution to the transverse - longitudinal response , @xmath38 , may be dominant despite the small effective proton polarization .
thus inclusive scattering from polarized @xmath9he is not a promising technique to measure the neutron electric form factor , @xmath5 @xcite .
the experiment , e95 - 001 , was performed in hall a at jefferson lab using a continuous - wave electron beam of 15 @xmath49a current and 70% longitudinal polarization , incident on a high - pressure polarized @xmath9he gas target .
the beam energies were 778 and 1727 mev .
electrons scattered from the target were detected by two high - resolution spectrometers ( hrs ) positioned on the left and right - hand side of the beam line , respectively .
both spectrometers were configured for electron detection and for independent operation ( single - arm mode ) .
the `` electron spectrometer '' on the left side of the beam performed the main physics measurement of inclusive @xmath1 scattering at six different quasi - elastic kinematics .
the second hrs , the `` hadron spectrometer '' to the right of the beam , detected @xmath50 elastic scattering and provided continuous high - precision monitoring of beam and target polarizations .
the kinematic settings are listed in table [ tab : kinematics ] . electron arm ( quasi - elastic ) . [ cols="^,^,^,^ " , ]
numerical values for @xmath4 extracted in this work are given in table [ tab : gmnresults ] ( in units of the empirical dipole parameterization , @xmath51 ) and shown in figure [ fig : gmndata ] along with the existing world data set published since 1990 @xcite .
the error bars represent the total uncertainties reported by the respective experiments , including model uncertainties .
the results appear to be largely consistent , with the exception of the early @xmath3h@xmath6 data from bates @xcite and the first @xmath3h@xmath52h@xmath7 ratio measurement from bonn @xcite .
the discrepancy of the data of these two experiments with the rest of the world data has been attributed to incomplete corrections for neutrons that miss the neutron detector @xcite .
the data of the bonn experiment @xcite were re - analyzed subsequently @xcite , resulting in a downward correction of the @xmath4 data .
figure [ fig : gmndata ] shows the re - analyzed data .
we note the satisfactory agreement between the more recent , high - precision deuterium ratio measurements @xcite and the data from this work .
the agreement is well within the total uncertainties of the experiments , except at @xmath53 and @xmath11 ( gev / c)@xmath3 , where the @xmath9he results are low by about 5% .
also shown in figure [ fig : gmndata ] are several theoretical results : a recent dispersion - theoretical fit by hammer and meiner @xcite ( solid curve ) , a chiral soliton model by holzwarth @xcite ( dotted curve ) , a relativistic baryon chiral perturbation theory calculation by kubis and meiner @xcite ( long - dashed curve ) , a vector meson dominance ( vmd ) fit by lomon @xcite ( dashed - dotted curve ) , and a recent light - front quark model by de melo _ et al . _
@xcite ( short - dashed curve ) .
it should be noted that all of these models contain one or more free parameters that have been fitted to existing data .
as can be seen , the dispersion - theoretical fit @xcite and the vmd fit @xcite agree best with the data at @xmath54 ( gev / c)@xmath3 , while the chiral perturbation theory ( chpt ) results @xcite and the chiral soliton model @xcite match the data better at lower @xmath2 .
the chpt model is expected to be good only up to @xmath55 ( gev / c)@xmath3 , but clearly works very well in its region of validity .
the light - front model of de melo _ et al . _
@xcite arguably shows the best overall agreement .
the models by holzwarth @xcite , lomon @xcite , and de melo _
_ @xcite also describe the proton form factor ratio @xmath56 and other elastic nucleon form factors well in this @xmath2-region .
in conclusion , we have determined the neutron magnetic form factor @xmath4 from quasi - elastic @xmath1 data . at @xmath2 of 0.1 and 0.2 ( gev / c)@xmath3 ,
we used a state - of - the - art faddeev calculation that includes fsi and mec , and pwia at four additional points between @xmath57 and 0.6 ( gev / c)@xmath3 .
the results agree within the total uncertainties with those obtained by several recent measurements on deuterium , except at @xmath53 and @xmath11 ( gev / c)@xmath3 where the @xmath9he results are slightly low . a consistent picture of the behavior of @xmath4 in this @xmath2-region is beginning to emerge , although further precision measurements as well as improved model calculations , such as the extension of the faddeev formalism to higher @xmath2 in the case of polarized @xmath58 , remain highly desirable .
in addition , we have measured @xmath0 in the two- and three - body breakup threshold region at @xmath2 of 0.1 and 0.2 ( gev / c)@xmath3 where the sensitivity to fsi and mec effects is particularly high .
the results agree well with the predictions of the faddeev model , especially at @xmath10 ( gev / c)@xmath3 , confirming the validity of the treatment of fsi and mec effects in this formalism .
we thank the hall a technical staff and the jefferson lab accelerator division for their outstanding support during this experiment .
we also thank t. w. donnelly for many helpful discussions .
this work was supported in part by the us department of energy , doe / epscor , the us national science foundation , the science and technology cooperation germany - poland and the polish committee for scientific research under grant no .
2p03b00825 , the ministero delluniversit e della ricerca scientifica e tecnologica ( murst ) , the french commissariat lnergie atomique , centre national de la recherche scientifique ( cnrs ) , conseil rgional dauvergne , the italian istituto nazionale di fisica nucleare ( infn ) , a grant of the european foundation project intas-99 - 0125 , and by doe contract de - ac05 - 84er40150 , modification no .
m175 , under which the southeastern universities research association ( sura ) operates the thomas jefferson national accelerator facility .
the numerical calculations were performed on the pvp machines at the us national energy research scientific computer center ( nersc ) and the cray sv1 of the nic in jlich .
99 h. gao , int .
e * 12 * , no . 1 , 1 - 40 ( review ) 2003
. d. h. beck and r. d. mckeown , ann .
sci . * 51 * , 189 ( 2001 ) .
k. s. kumar and p. a. souder , prog .
. phys . * 45 * , s333 ( 2000 ) .
et al . _ ,
lett . * 84 * , 1398 ( 2000 ) .
et al . _ ,
lett . * 88 * , 092301 ( 2002 ) .
p. markowitz _
et al . _ ,
phys . rev .
c * 48 * , r5 ( 1993 ) ; final results in p. markowitz , ph.d .
thesis , college of william and mary , november 1992 .
e. e. w. bruins _ et al .
lett . * 75 * , 21 ( 1995 ) . b. schoch ( private communication ) .
h. anklin _
et al . _ ,
b336 * , 313 ( 1994 ) .
h. anklin _
et al . _ ,
. lett . * b428 * , 248 ( 1998 ) .
et al . _ ,
* b524 * , 26 ( 2002 ) .
j. jourdan , i. sick , and j. zhao , phys .
lett . * 79 * , 5186 ( 1997 ) ; e. e. w. bruins _ et al .
* 79 * , 5187 ( 1997 ) .
b. blankleider and r. m. woloshyn .
c * 29 * , 538 ( 1984 ) .
l. d. faddeev , sov .
jetp , * 12 * , 1014 ( 1961 ) . c. e. jones _ et al .
c * 47 * , 110 ( 1993 ) . a. k. thompson _
et al . _ , phys .
* 68 * , 2901 ( 1992 ) .
h. gao _ et al .
c * 50 * , r546 ( 1994 ) ; h. gao , nucl .
* a631 * , 170c ( 1998 ) .
et al . _ ,
74 * , 654 ( 1995 ) .
m. meyerhoff _
et al . _ ,
b327 * , 201 ( 1994 ) .
schulze and p. u. sauer , phys .
c * 48 * , 38 ( 1993 ) .
h. hajduk - meier _ et al .
_ , nucl . phys . *
a395 * , 332 ( 1983 ) .
r. b. wiringa , v. g. j. stoks , and r. schiavilla , phys .
c * 51 * , 38 ( 1995 ) .
g. hhler _
_ , nucl . phys . *
b114 * , 505 ( 1976 ) .
j. carlson and r. schiavilla , rev .
phys . * 70 * , 743 ( 1998 ) .
s. ishikawa _
et al . _ , nuovo cimento a * 107 * , 305 ( 1994 ) .
s. ishikawa _
et al . _ ,
c * 57 * , 39 ( 1998 ) .
d. o. riska , phys .
scr . * 31 * , 107 ( 1985 ) ; _ ibid .
_ * 31 * , 471 ( 1985 ) .
r. machleidt , adv .
* 19 * , 189 ( 1989 ) .
j. l. friar , b. f. gibson , g. l. payne , a. m. bernstein , and t. e. chupp , phys .
c * 42 * , 2310 ( 1990 ) .
c * 65 * , 044002 ( 2002 ) .
et al . _ , nucl .
a365 * , 1 ( 1995 ) .
r. prepost and t. maruyama , ann .
nucl . part .
sci . * 45 * , 41 ( 1995 ) .
j. alcorn _
instr . meth .
* a522 * , 294 ( 2004 ) .
m. a. bouchiat , t. r. carver , and c. m. varnum , phys .
lett . * 5 * , 373 ( 1960 ) .
j. s. jensen , ph.d .
thesis , california institute of technology , 2000 .
i. kominis , ph.d .
thesis , princeton university , 2001 .
t. j. killian , phys .
rev . * 27 * , 578 ( 1926 ) .
a. b. baranga _
_ , phys . rev
. lett . * 80 * , 2801 ( 1998 ) .
a. abramgam , _ principles of nuclear magnetism _ , oxford university press , 1961 .
k. g. fissum _
et al . _ , nucl .
a474 * , 108 ( 2001 ) .
w. xu , ph.d .
thesis , massachusetts institute of technology , 2002 .
akushevich and n. m. shumeiko , j. phys .
* g20 * , 513 ( 1994 ) . j. schwinger , phys . rev . * 75 * , 898 ( 1949 ) .
a. amroun _
et al . _ ,
a579 * , 596 ( 1994 ) ; c. r. otterman
_ , _ ibid .
_ * a435 * , 688 ( 1985 ) ; p. c. dunn _
et al . _ ,
c * 27 * , 71 ( 1983 ) .
o. n. ozkul , senior thesis , massachusetts institute of technology , 2000 .
f. xiong , ph.d .
thesis , massachusetts institute of technology , 2002 .
a. amroun _
69 * , 253 ( 1992 ) .
f. ritz , h. gller , t. wilbois , and h. arenhvel , phys .
c * 55 * , 2214 ( 1997 ) .
s. jeschonnek and t. w. donnelly , phys .
c * 57 * , 2438 ( 1998 ) .
t. w. donnelly ( private communication ) .
j. a. caballero , t. w. donnelly , and g. i. poulis , nucl . phys . *
a555 * , 709 ( 1993 ) .
t. de forest _ et al .
_ , nucl . phys . * a392 * , 232 ( 1983 ) .
hammer and ulf - g .
meiner , eur .
j. a * 20 * , 469 ( 2004 ) .
g. holzwarth , talk at the workshop on nucleon form factors , frascati , october 12 - 14 , 2005 ; see also z. phys . *
a356 * , 339 ( 1996 ) and .
b. kubis and u .- g .
meissner , nucl .
a679 * , 698 ( 2001 ) .
e. l. lomon , phys .
c * 66 * , 045501 ( 2002 ) . j. p. b. c. de melo , t. frederico , e. pace , s. pisano , and g. salm , , to appear in nucl .
phys . a. | arxiv |
Bjarte is a Norwegian male given name and may refer to:
Bjarte Lunde Aarsheim born 1975, Norwegian footballer
Bjarte Baasland born 1974, former Norwegian businessman and convicted fraudster
Bjarte Birkeland 19202000, Norwegian literary researcher
Bjarte Breiteig born 1974, Norwegian short story writer
Bjarte Bruland born 1969, Norwegian historian
Bjarte Eikeset born 1937, Norwegian lawyer, judge and politician for the Conservative Party
Bjarte Flem born 1958, former Norwegian football goalkeeper
Bjarte Haugsdal born 1990, Norwegian footballer
Bjarte Hjelmeland born 1970, Norwegian actor and theatre director
Bjarte Ludvigsen, record producer from Bergen, Norway
Bjarte Myrhol born 1982, Norwegian handball player
Bjarte Tørå born 1953, Norwegian politician for the Christian Democratic Party
Bjarte Engen Vik born 1971, former Norwegian Nordic combined athlete | wikipedia |
Is this picture correct from the point of view of physics?
This picture violates some laws of physics. Am I right?
Your picture is perfectly consistent with the laws of physics, and in particular with the principle of hydrostatic equilibrium, which demands that the pressure at each point be only a function of the height. All the water surfaces, at the dashed line,
are at the same height and therefore at the same pressure.
The depths of the burrows do not matter: it is true that the entrance to the burrow on the left is at a higher pressure and the water is pushing into the burrow harder than on the right, but the left burrow has a taller water column with which to balance that force. Everything works out nicely to an equilibrium of forces, and there will be no water flow.
| stackexchange/physics |
pH calculation of a mixure containing 2 strong acids and a buffer mixture
Calculate the pH of a mixtureof 10 mL 0,1 M HCl ; 5 mL 0,1 M HNO3 ; 10 mL 0,2 M HAc ; 15 mL 0,4 M NaAc.
My understanding was that I have to find the [H+] by:
1. finding the concentration of the products by:
a) finding the amount of moles (n) = c\*V
n(HCl) = 0.1M \* 0.010L = 0.001 moles
n(HNO3)= 0.1M \* 0.005L = 0.0005 moles
n(HAc) = 0.2M \* 0.010L = 0.002 moles
n(NaAc) = 0.4M \* 0.015L = 0.006 moles
b) Total volume = (0.01 + 0.005 + 0.01 +0.015)L = 0.04L
c) the concentration of the products are: c = n/V(tot)
c(HCl) = 0.001n/0.04L = 0.025M
c(HNO3) = 0.0005n/0.04L = 0.0125M
c(HAc) = 0.002n/0.04L = 0.05M
c(HANa) = 0.006n/0.04L = 0.15M
2. Because strong acids wil react first I added the c (= [H+]) of the acids = 0.025M + 0.0125M = 0.0375M
3. pH = -log (cA) = 1.4259...
4. Because HAc and HANa are a weak acid and it's conjugate base I used the buffer formula to find the pH:
pH = pKa + log (cb/ca)
pKa of CH3COOH = 4.75
ca = 0.05M
cb = 0.15M
pH = 4.75 + log (0.15/0.05) = 4.75 + 0.47712 = 5.22
[H+] = 10^-pH = 5.928\*10^-6
5. [H+] = 0.0375M + 5.928\*10^-6 = 0.037505928
pH = -log(0.037505928) = 1.4
The correction indicated that the answer should have been a pH = 4.88.
I don't know where it went wrong, but I have the feeling I terribly misunderstood a concept.
First, you have to allow the strong acids to react with the weak base.
$$\ce{HCl + NaOAc -> HOAc + Na+ + Cl-}$$
$$\ce{HNO3 + NaOAc -> HOAc + Na+ + NO3-}$$
This goes to completion. As a result, you make some acetic acid and use up some, but not all of the acetate.
Now you should be able to figure out the final concentrations of the major species (acetic acid, acetate) and plug it into the buffer equation.
To turn this into a rule: you will never have a strong acid and a weak base in the same solution (same goes for a strong base and a weak acid). They always react with each other until at least one of them is gone.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
“Pilot” Written by Greg Berlanti & Sera Gamble Based on the novel “YOU” by Caroline Kepnes Alloy Entertainment Berlanti Productions Studio Draft March 6, 2017 © 2017 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. This script is the property of Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc. No portion of this script may be performed, reproduced or used by any means, or disclosed to, quoted or published in any medium without the prior written consent of Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. OVER BLACK:
The TING of a SHOP DOORBELL as a customer walks in.
FADE IN:
INT. MOONEY’S RARE AND USED BOOKS - DAY
POV THROUGH SHELVES: a customer enters. We see only a
sliver of her as we track her through the stacks in the
POV of a WATCHER we haven’t seen yet . JOE. (And we’ll
stay entirely in POV shots for a while, so get comfy.)
We hear Joe’s wry, intrigued VO.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Well, hello there.
She’s 20s, messenger bag slung over casual clothes. Hair
up; bangles rattle on her wrist. This is GUINEVERE BECK.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Who are you? Based on the bag, student.
With a random job or two. Got the
eyeliner perfect in the mirror this
morning but your hair you put up on the
train and you don’t care if it’s crooked.
Which is a good look. Not caring too
much.
We TRACK with the SOUND of her STEPS. Catch GLIMPSES as
she moves through the store scanning shelves.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Your sweater’s loose. You’re not here to
be ogled. But those bracelets jangle.
You like a little attention. Okay, I
bite.
She fades into the stacks.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
I watch you search the books-- Fiction F-
K-- now you’re not the standard insecure
nymph hunting for Faulkner you’ll never
finish. Too sunkissed for Stephen King.
Too untrendy for Heidi Julavits . Who
will you buy?
She accidentally jostles a passing CUSTOMER.
BECK
Oh-- sorry. JOE’S THOUGHTS
Your voice is sweet, apologetic, like
you’re embarrassed to be a good girl --
And you murmur your first word to me.
We come around a corner-- and she’s standing in the
center of the aisle, staring right at us .
BECK
Hello.
Finally, we see him : JOE GOLDBERG , late 20s, hefting a
load of re-shelves. Unassuming vibe. You wouldn’t guess
the tone of his internal V.O. from looking at him.
BECK (CONT’D)
Do you work here?
JOE
Guilty. Help you find something?
BECK
Aren’t essays usually in non-fiction?
JOE
Usually. But the owner has his own way
of doing things. Who’re you looking for?
BECK
Paula Fox.
JOE
Good choice.
BECK
I feel weirdly validated.
JOE
Follow me.
ANOTHER AISLE, MOMENTS LATER
Joe leads, Beck in tow.
JOE (CONT’D)
Most of her stuff went out of print years
ago. But since Franzen started talking
her up, we’ve been getting more requests.
We keep her here--
BECK
(reading the sign)
“Celebrity authors?” I thought Fox was
pretty obscure.2.JOE
She’s Courtney Love’s maternal
grandmother. You’re not expected to know
that.
BECK
Good. I didn’t.
JOE
Mr. Mooney wants anyone in here that’s
even tangentially famous. Thinks it
sells more books.
BECK
That’s sad. People buying books because
of what’s popular and not because they
want to be moved or changed in some way.
JOE
It’s an epidemic. See that guy --
Joe whispers conspiratorially, nodding his head toward a
MIDDLE-AGED BROOKLYNITE right out of central casting.
JOE (CONT’D)
Grabbed Dan Brown’s latest on his way in.
Now he’ll walk around for another five,
ten minutes try and find something
legitimate to buy with it.
BECK
(gets it)
Like the cereal guys buy when they’re
really there for condoms. Only makes it
more conspicuous. Like own your shit. If
Dan Brown’s your kink, be out about it.
Joe smiles. Almost a little shy for this kind of talk.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
And if I wasn’t sure before now I know --
you’re flirting with me.
They watch the MIDDLE-AGED BROOKLYNITE barely look at a
book. Tosses it on his stack. Beck reacts.
BECK
He’s totally shame-buying Dan Brown. At
the end of the day people really are
disappointing aren’t they?
JOE
Sometimes they surprise you.3.Beck turns back, and for the first time, really looks at
Joe. He breaks her gaze -- reminding her and us:
JOE (CONT’D)
Paula Fox, there, top shelf. Want me to--
BECK
Nope I got it.
Beck stands on her tippy-toes to reach for Paula Fox.
As she reaches, her breasts push through her sweater.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Are you not wearing a bra? And you want
me to notice. If this was a movie I’d
grab you and we’d-- right in the stacks
in the moonlight. But it’s daytime. And
I’m wearing an apron with a nametag.
Beck lands back on her feet. Book in hand.
JOE
Have you read her fiction?
BECK
Western Coast . Twice.
JOE
Desperate Characters is her best --
BECK
That’s what I keep hearing.
JOE
You haven’t read Desperate
Characters ? BECK (CONT'D)
I know, I know. I was
worried it wouldn’t live up
to the hype so I haven’t--
is that weird --
JOE
Why I’ve never watched The Wire . Like it
can’t be that good.
BECK
I’ve never watched The Wire . But I tell
people I did cause I don’t want to be
judged.
JOE
I’ve actually read Desperate Characters
and I can safely say, it is that good.
BECK
That’s a pretty high endorsement. And
from a bookstore clerk nonetheless. 4.JOE
Hey, that’s bookstore manager.
MIDDLE-AGED BROOKLYNITE
Helloooo ? Anyone working here?
Reverie broken, Joe looks over. The MIDDLE-AGED
BROOKLYNITE is at the counter now. Looking miffed.
JOE
Just a second, sir.
(back to)
Sorry, I have to --
BECK
Help a rude customer.
(calls out)
Enjoy that Dan Brown motherfucker!
The Brooklynite looks away, caught. Beck smirks at Joe
who just laughs as he walks down the aisle.
BY THE COUNTER - MOMENTS LATER
Joe rings the Brooklynite, refusing to be hurried.
Behind Joe, a glass wall to an office. Within, ETHAN,
20s, sloppy, bighearted, works. He can see everything.
MIDDLE-AGED BROOKLYNITE
Do you mind, I’m in a hurry.
Joe looks down at the Dan Brown and a paperback Franny
and Zooey as he rings the man up.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
He’s just pissed he’s gotta buy Salinger
to feel respectable when all he really
wants to do is sit eating Cheetos with
one hand and jerking it to Pornhub with
the other before washing it all down with
a Dan Brown chaser.
JOE
You have a nice day, sir.
The man grumbles, exits. Beck approaches with the book
she came for, and Desperate Characters .
BECK
Okay, I’m going for it.
JOE
You won’t regret it. 5.BECK
I better not.
ETHAN enters with a fresh roll of receipt paper.
ETHAN
Paula Fox. Nice. You know she was
Courtney Love’s maternal grandmother.
BECK
That’s why I’m buying it.
She gives Joe a playful look, hands over a credit card.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
You have enough cash to cover this but
you want me to know your name.
JOE
Guinevere.
BECK
Yeah my parents were assholes with the
naming. Everyone just calls me Beck.
(off his nametag)
And you’re Joe...
JOE
Goldberg. But everyone calls me Joe.
They shake hands, touching for the first time.
BECK
Aren’t you gonna tell me to have a nice
day?
JOE
You have a nice day, Beck.
BECK
You have one yourself, Joe.
And with one last smile, Beck leaves. Joe studies the
receipt, carefully thumbing her signature.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
You smiled at me, laughed at my jokes,
told me your name, asked for mine.
When she’s gone, Ethan looks over, re: the receipt.
ETHAN
She write her number on there?6.JOE
No.
ETHAN
I’m surprised. She was gaming you hard.
JOE
Naah. She was just being nice.
ETHAN
I’d be googling the hell out of her right
now, you know her full name--
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Wow, thanks, never would’ve thought of
Google, you cheesy, ferret-faced box of
stupid.
JOE
(friendly and sheepish)
That’s pretty aggressive.
ETHAN
What do I tell you, it’s Glengarry Glenn
Ross-- Always Be Closing that shit. If
you need me--
JOE’S THOUGHTS
I’ll be in cookbooks. But
for work. Not for fun. I
swear. Ha. ETHAN (CONT'D)
I’ll be in cookbooks. But
for work. Not for fun. I
swear. Ha.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
At the end of the day people are really
just disappointing, aren’t they?
Joe eyes the work computer on the counter.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
But are you, Beck? Are you?
Joe looks out the window. He can see BECK in the
DISTANCE, heading down to the subway. Off Joe’s eyes...
FADE TO TITLE:
Y O U
FADE TO:
EXT. MOONEY’S RARE AND USED - NIGHT
Joe locks up. He sees a walking couple STOP to KISS.7.JOE’S THOUGHTS
Yes, people find happiness. They find
The One. I believe in that. I try to
stay open. I was in love once. She
broke my heart, Beck. The last one, she
really did a number on me.
EXT. NY STREETS - CONTINUOUS
Joe walks home. In his thoughts, as couples and singles,
wisecracking packs of boys, young women texting, wistful
girls with headphones on, move past him.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
You could say I’m surprised I’m standing.
In many ways though, it was my fault. I
should’ve seen the signs. They were
blatant. But we never do. See the
signs. When we’re in love.
Joe walks into a TAKEOUT ITALIAN PLACE.
EXT. RUNDOWN NEIGHBORHOOD (NAME TO FOLLOW) - NIGHT
Joe heads to his unamazing apartment building, carrying
the takeout bag. He looks up-- and in the second story
window, he spots a COUPLE FIGHTING, LOUD.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Exhibit A: Claudia and Ron. Claudia’s a
nurse and a single parent. You think she
knew Ron was an alcoholic shitbag when
she fell in love? No. She thought he
was a prince on a goddamn horse.
INT. HALLWAY OF JOE’S BUILDING - CONTINUOUS
Joe climbs the stairs and sees PACO (eleven, skinny,
sweet and extra bright) sitting against the paint chipped
wall, reading an old copy of The Three Musketeers .
JOE’S THOUGHTS
And now, hers is not the only life she
ruined --
JOE
Hey, Paco.
PACO
Sup, Joe.
More YELLING inside. Something is thrown, it SHATTERS. 8.JOE
Everything cool in there?
PACO
Yeah. My Mom and Ron are just talking.
Talking? Joe follows Paco’s lead, pretending it’s not
what it really is. Looks to the novel on Paco’s lap.
JOE
You’re almost done with that book? You
just started three days ago?
PACO
Reads quick. With all the swordfights ,
never gets boring.
JOE
(impressed)
Lemme know when you finish. I’ll toss
you another one.
Joe’s about to go inside but gives one more glance to the
angelic, hungry looking eleven year old.
JOE (CONT’D)
You hungry? I got this meatball wedge
and then I remembered I have Thai
leftover from last night and suddenly I’m
not in the mood for Italian anymore.
Paco’s eyes say how hungry he is. Still, he declines.
PACO
Nah. My mom’ll make me something later.
JOE
It’s a shame. Meatball wedges don’t
keep. This shit’s getting tossed.
PACO
You sure, Joe?
JOE
All for one and one for all.
Joe hands over the wedge, smiling. Paco snatches the
bag, digging in before Joe even enters his apartment.
INT. JOE’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
A mix of vintage furniture contrasted with unruly piles
of books. Joe enters, crosses to the kitchen, looks
inside the empty fridge. Notably, no Thai takeout. 9.JOE’S THOUGHTS
The point, Beck, love isn’t just tricky,
it’s a trick. A guy needs to protect
himself. I had to be sure you’re safe.
Your name was a glorious place to start.
LATER. JOE finishes some peanut butter and saltines out
of a sleeve. He sits in front of an elderly Macbook.
ONSCREEN. A search box. Joe types in GUINEVERE BECK.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
There’s not a lot of Guinevere Becks.
A host of sites come up: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
Tumblr, etc. He begins to CLICK and SCROLL ( this SOCIAL
MEDIA MONTAGE will be a signature of the series ).
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
There you were. Every account set to
public. You want to be seen. Heard.
Known. Of course I obliged.
PHOTOS COME at us fast, as we move through this collage
of BECK’S LIFE from CHILDHOOD to the WOMAN she is today.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Born and raised, Nantucket Island. A
brother Clyde and a sister Anya-- your
parents really were assholes about the
names. Dad died when you were in high
school. Heart attack according to the
local papers. Anya and Clyde stayed, you
escaped.
MORE PHOTOS. College life, drinking with FRIENDS,
concerts on meadows, tailgates, beach days with BOYS.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Left to study at Brown where you majored
in lit and minored in douchebags.
MORE PHOTOS. Beck in the city, doing yoga, reading lit.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Then on to NYC to conquer a Columbia MFA,
and make your mark. You still write.
Barely. Too busy living out moments you
won’t remember five years from now. I
know this because you post about this
life All The Fucking Time.10.EXT. THE HIGHLINE - ANOTHER NIGHT
Beck and SOME GIRL FRIENDS WE’LL MEET SOON, happy-tipsy
and carrying a wine bottle in a brown paper bag.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Candidly, it’s the least appealing thing
about you, Beck.
Beck is drawn to the edge, peering out. A FRIEND (LYNN,
Asian-American, just pretty/smart/rich enough to slide by
in life, affects a perpetual bored deadpan) calls to her--
LYNN
Hurry up, Beck, we told them we’d be
there an hour ago.
Beck types a Tweet on her phone. We hear HER VOICE:
BECK’S VOICE
“We are t-minus-ten to karaoke Katy
Perry. This is your final warning,
humans with ears.”
INT. THE SUBWAY - EARLIER THAT DAY
Beck on the subway right after meeting Joe.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
You posted this hours after our
encounter.
She looks down at the book cover of Desperate Characters ,
SNAPS a PICTURE for INSTA, types:
BECK’S VOICE
Most of my favorite people are books.
INT. JOE’S APARTMENT - SAME TIME
Joe studies the Instagram. Almost offended.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
For a second I was concerned you didn’t
mention that cute guy in the bookstore.
He scans THROUGH more PICTURES. We do too. A super fast
SLIDESHOW of A YOUNG HAPPY-GO-LUCKY GIRL IN THE CITY.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Then I realized, your online life isn’t
real, it’s an artistic collage and you
want it all to seem so carefree.
(MORE)11.So you paste this Beck up everywhere,
this together, lovable, cute, bendy
creature.
Joe stops on ONE PHOTO in particular. Beck and Lynn in
front of a BUILDING SHOVING a COUCH up the STAIRS.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
If anything, the fact that you didn’t
share me with your followers only
confirms we really connected.
Joe COPIES AND PASTES A PHOTO into A SEARCH ENGINE. He
searches IMAGES. Something comes up. He smiles.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
The next thing our friend the internet
gave me was your address.
REVEAL the SCREEN is a CLEAR PICTURE OF A BUILDING in the
West Village. The address listed right below.
EXT. 51 BANK STREET - DAY
On a real life shot of the SAME BUILDING FROM THE PHOTO.
ACROSS THE STREET
Joe stands, tucked unobtrusively by a stoop with a big
brick staircase. You’d walk right by without noticing.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
There it is, with its big naked windows.
From across the street, Joe has a private, relatively
UNOBSTRUCTED VIEW of the slightly elevated FIRST FLOOR
APARTMENT. Windows are uncovered. Everything on view .
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Definitely more than you could afford.
I’m thinking subsidized school housing.
BECK walks by, NAKED except for a towel.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Jesus, Beck. It’s like you’ve never seen
a horror movie. Or the news.
Joe looks around at the PEDESTRIANS coming and going
outside. They stroll past, not seeming to care.JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)12.JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
But you want people to watch, don’t you?
I plan on asking you about this quality
when we get to know each other better.
Inside Beck heats a microwaveable dish for dinner. Takes
out her phone, scrolls while she eats. Types something.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
A proposal. Why don’t we spend the day
together tomorrow. Just you and me?
As if on cue, Joe’s PHONE CHIRPS alerting him to a TWEET:
BECK’S VOICE
To everyone out there chasing their
dreams, don’t give up. And in the
meantime, Mac N Cheese!
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Okay, Beck. It’s a date.
INT. A THRIFT SHOP - AFTERNOON
Joe ruffles through an ASSORTMENT of SECOND HAND CLOTHES--
some blue collar, some higher-end. He’s on the phone...
INTERCUT ETHAN at the bookstore stacking some shelves.
ETHAN
Duuude, I hope you don’t have what I had.
JOE
(into phone, fake exhaustion)
I think I do.
ETHAN
It’s an Ethiopian superstrain . It does
like a dual Do I have to shit or puke?
Sophie’s Choice thing. Also, there’s an
amazing veggie soup in Gwyneth Paltrow’s
cookbook, Notes From My Kitchen Table.
Cleared me right up, I can make you some.
JOE
No, I can’t risk getting you sick, too.
BY THE COUNTER, Joe finishes, hangs up, drops his
purchases in front of the MATRONLY CLERK.
MATRONLY CLERK
You an actor or something?13.JOE
How did you know?
Joe takes his bag and exits.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Is everyone in this city a fucking moron,
Beck? Rhetorical.
MUSIC UP: A romantic Parisian style bal musette plays as
we begin a MONTAGE OF JOE STALKING BECK for the day...
OUTSIDE BECK’S APARTMENT
Joe watches, dressed in his first THRIFTY GETUP (80’s
track suit, Yankees cap), a backpack over his shoulder.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Our day starts at the ass crack of dawn.
I know from your posted schedule that you
teach a 6:30 class called Get Up N Flow.
IN HER APARTMENT
Beck hurriedly preps for her day, drinking coffee...
INSIDE A YOGA STUDIO
Beck teaches a class to A BUNCH of MIDDLE AGED WHITE
PEOPLE. REVEAL Joe across the street, watching her.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
You caress the sweaty backs of bulimic,
dead-eyed Real Mommies Of Soho whose
haircuts cost your rent. Offering smiles
and lies of encouragement.
Beck adjusts TASHA, who is, let us say, not good at yoga.
BECK
I’m loving your form today, Tasha.
ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS
ON BECK racing across the lawn. Reveal JOE, DRESSED as a
STUDENT pretending to talk into his phone.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
By ten you’re at campus to TA a Romantics
Class and play Vanna White to some shirt.
She catches UP with PROFESSOR LEAHY (50’s and gross but
thinks he’s 30’s and hip). 14.BECK
Morning, Professor Leahy.
PROFESSOR LEAHY
I told you, it’s Paul. Wouldn’t want
students thinking I was like those other
stuffy tenured assholes now would we?
He drapes an arm around Beck. She reacts only slightly.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Professor Obvious wants to fuck you.
You’re smart. You let him think one day
he might. What’s the harm in that, right?
They enter the building, bringing us to...
A DINER OFF UNION SQUARE
Inside WAITING TABLES is a tireless BECK. She moves
effortlessly, like a dancer, between rushed CUSTOMERS.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
By lunch you’re at your second job.
We SEE JOE through the glass. He’s across the street on
a bench (dressed BLUE-COLLAR, now) eating a sandwich.
LATER
Back inside, shift complete, Beck now sits at a corner
booth. Laptop out. Trying to write.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
After your shift, you hide in the corner
and try to write for the first time all
day. But your life doesn’t cooperate.
Her phone starts BUZZING with TEXTS and alerts. Fuck.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Your wealthy girlfriends have just now
woken up and have nothing better to do
than text emjois and like each other’s
drunk selfies from the night before.
Beck relents, closing her laptop and texting back...
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Can we get real for a second? You have
shitty taste in friends, Beck.
A PRICEY RETAIL STORE IN SOHO
Beck chats up a SALESWOMAN, checking out $3,000 handbags.15.JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
And expensive taste in lives.
There’s JOE gazing through the window, seeing BECK
STEALTHILY SNIP the TAG off a McQueen scarf, pocket it.
With unhurried shoplifter grace, she heads out....
OUTSIDE THE STORE
Beck dashes for it. Right past Joe, invisible to her.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
You want so badly to be one of them.
AN UPSCALE EATERY IN THE VILLAGE
Warmly lit table of LAUGHING, DRINKING GIRLS. Including
BECK, birthday friend CHANA (carefree party-instigator;
loud laugh, sexy extra few pounds), LYNN, and queen bee
PEACH (imperiously skinny, moneyed, confident). Chana is
opening a present: The SCARF Beck stole. Everyone coos.
BECK
Do you like it?
CHANA
No, I hate it. Of course I fucking love
it, Beckish!
BECK
Cause you can always return it --
REVEAL JOE sitting at a nearby TABLE. METS CAP ON,
facing AWAY from them, pretending to read a book.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Bold one, Beck. Color me impressed.
CHANA
Please! I said I love it-- I mean it.
PEACH
Jason didn’t even get her something that
nice and Chana finally let him do anal.
The GROUP LAUGHS. Chana semi-playfully smacks Peach.
PEACH (CONT’D)
Please. Open my gift next and see how
much you hate me then lady.
Chana does. It’s a NECKLACE with a DIAMOND encrusted
DOLPHIN. The GROUP ooos. Beck slouches, her moment in
the sun already eclipsed. 16.CHANA
A dolphin! It’s my spirit animal for the
year. You remembered.
PEACH
Only because you won’t shut up about it.
Here let me put it on you.
LYNN
Okay so how much anal is Peach getting?
CHANA
Whenever she wants! Where’s your strap-
on, Peach?
PEACH
At least I’ll use lube honey.
More LAUGHS from the GROUP. Joe grimaces.
OUTSIDE THE CAFE
Just after. The group says goodbyes. They beg BECK to
go out with them. But she resists.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
They’ve got nothing to do after this. So
yeah, they’ll party till five and scrape
it together tomorrow. You can’t.
Joe, pretending to check his phone, exits the restaurant
as Lynn and Chana peel off in one direction.
PEACH
I’ll catch up, guys.
Peach lingers with Beck. She pulls CIGARETTES OUT. Joe
leans against a wall, scrolling his phone-- anonymous.
You’d never spot him. Peach lights a cigarette, waves
smoke away, all business.
PEACH (CONT’D)
A McQueen scarf, Beck? How much was it?
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Huh. Maybe not all your friends are dumb.
BECK
...it was on clearance.
PEACH
They haven’t put a McQueen scarf on
clearance since he hung himself in 2010.
(MORE)17.It would be too much for you to pay even
if she deserved it. Which God knows she
does not.
Peach watches Beck try to shrug this off, uncomfortable.
PEACH (CONT’D)
How broke are you?
Beck’s taken aback by the direct question.
BECK
I’m okay. Really.PEACH (CONT'D)
Just tell me what’s up.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Actually sounds like she cares.
BECK
Look, I appreciate--
PEACH
Beck. Why don’t you just let me loan you
some cash? I keep telling you, I
literally have three trust funds, all
from relatives I hated, you’d be doing me
a favor. How much do you need?
JOE’S THOUGHTS
If only she didn’t also sound so
condescending.
BECK
Zero, Peach. But if I ever do--
PEACH
You better ask.
Peach smooths Beck’s hair, a sisterly gesture.
PEACH (CONT’D)
Can’t have you run yourself into the
ground, you’re my only friend I actually
like. Don’t strand me here with those
dumb bitches, I swear to god.
Beck laughs out loud. Now, Peach, takes Beck’s hand.
PEACH (CONT’D)
I’d do anything for you. Don’t forget
that.
Beck looks down at Peach’s hand in hers, and for a split
second, it suddenly feels just the tiniest hair... weird.
Peach casually withdraws her hand. Moment over. PEACH (CONT'D)18.PEACH (CONT’D)
Sure you don’t wanna come out with us?
BECK
I gotta write.
PEACH
Virtuous. Catch you later?
They share a 100% standard girl-buddy hug, and Peach
heads off like the low-key Queen Of NYC she is.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
So is that the best friend you’ve got? If
so, Beck, you really are alone.
FINALLY, BACK AT BECK’S PLACE
Her window ILLUMINATES as she enters for the night.
Pulls off her shirt and flops on the couch in her bra.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Your social media’s a liar. It says
you’re a happy-go-lucky dilettante.
Beck nurses a Diet Coke, immerses herself in her writing.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
But you seem like the genuine article.
OUTSIDE
Beck focuses on her work. When-- Her CELL BUZZES. She
checks a text. Hesitates. Unsure whether to answer.
An attractive late 20’s HIPSTER TYPE in expensive but
unkempt clothes breezes past Joe. This is BENJI.
Joe falls back into the shadows, pretends to immerse
himself in his phone. He watches Benji dial his cell.
BENJI
(into phone)
C’mon, Beck. I see you in there, your
light’s on, babe. Let me up!
Through the window, we see Beck finally walk to her door
and push the buzzer. Benji smiles, sauntering up the
stairs and into her place. Mission accomplished.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Um, Beck, who the fuck is this?
END OF ACT ONE19.ACT TWO
INT. BECK’S APARTMENT - MINUTES LATER
On Beck pacing and pissed. She’s cleaning her place.
Barely listening to Benji’s half-hearted apology.
BENJI
So that’s it, you’re not even gonna try
to hear my side of it?
BECK
My best friend walked in on you getting
your dick sucked by some random woman in
a bathroom at a party I took you to !
BENJI
It was one skank from Hoboken. I was
wasted. And I didn’t even finish.
BECK
That’s your apology? “I didn’t cum.”
That’s the one you’re going with?
BENJI
Okay, listen, I shouldn’t have gotten
that wasted. And I for sure shouldn’t
have mixed Adderall , Percocet and three
Moscow mules. Trust me, I will never do
that again. And obviously I shouldn’t
have gone into the bathroom with any girl
that wasn’t you. But I was out of my mind
and she said she had good coke and I’ve
been seriously stressed-- I thought when
Jono and me started our own line it was
gonna be picking flavors and shit, turns
out it’s sixteen hours of lectures from a
smelly Korean chemist on microbial
management and filtration. And that’s
why no one starts their own artisanal
soda and why America has to keep drinking
crap that’s giving them cancer.
A beat as Beck comprehends the entirety of this apology.
BECK
Wow. I was wrong, you actually managed
to connect your illicit blow job to
curing cancer. I’m genuinely impressed.
ACROSS THE STREET
Joe watches. Circumspect. 20.JOE’S THOUGHTS
Way to go, Beck. Looks like a catch.
Joe’s PHONE is out. He SCROLLS THROUGH Beck’s Instagram
account, with a PICTURE OF BENJI, BECK and FRIENDS in the
HAMPTONS . Follows a LINK TO BENJI’S ACCOUNT and...
BEGIN A MONTAGE OF BENJI’S SOCIAL MEDIA. Twitter, Insta,
Facebook , etc. ( Again this will be a motif of the show
as Joe encounters someone of interest. )
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Benjamin J. Tuttle the third. Greenwich
born, boarding school bred. Then onto
Cornell, legacy admission seeing as his
father is The Ben Tuttle of Tuttle
Brokerage. At least two failed careers
since college. Model. Oh boy. And co-
creator of a busted dating app that
connects people through their musical
tastes called LOVENOTEZ . Currently CEO
of Home Soda Artisanal Beverages, motto:
“drink better by hand,” which makes no
sense but evokes a homespun quality that
lines up well with a guy who wears six-
hundred-dollar Japanese sneakers. The
hair, the entitlement, the privilege
tries to hide with retweets about Black
Lives Matter. Not to sound judgmental,
Beck, but: this guy is everything wrong
with America.
BACK WITH JOE. He looks back at the window. We go...
BACK INSIDE
Benji moves closer. Undeterred.
BECK
Seriously, Benji, I’m drowning in work
and I don’t have time to keep hooking up
or whatever it is you’re even capable of.
BENJI
I’m capable of more. Just let me try.
Obviously you want to or you wouldn’t
have let me up.
(gently holds her)
I know I’ve done some stupid shit, but
I’m really on it now. Full-on new leaf.
I don’t want to be just some guy you
sleep with, Beck. I want to see where
this goes. Don’t you?
We see the hurt finally seep into her eyes. 21.BECK
You’re such a bastard.
BENJI
(whispers in her ear)
God... you make me insane.
Finally, Beck gives in. Kissing him.
BACK WITH JOE
Joe’s face is etched in disappointment. Shakes his head,
reaches into his knapsack for some chips, as he does...
JOE’S THOUGHTS
This is why I do my research. Here I was
about to label you “safe bet” and your
biggest red flag is revealed: you fall
for the wrong men. Bad men. You let
them in. You let them hurt you.
JOE’S VOYEUR POV THROUGH WINDOW : we watch IN CUTS AS
BENJI AND BECK ARE ON THE BED HAVING SEX. As it ends:
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Too far away to know for sure but my
guess is if he came anywhere close to
making you orgasm, you’d’ve made a
Broadway production out of it. But you
didn’t. ‘Cause he didn’t.
BACK WITH BECK AND BENJI
Benji sighs contentedly. He kisses Beck and rolls off.
Benji grabs for his pants and his VAPE PEN. Turns it on
and notices the book sitting there on her nightstand .
BENJI
Desperate Characters .
BECK
I picked it up yesterday. You can borrow
it when I’m done, it’s supposed to be--
BENJI
(sorry)
Jono’s consultant we brought in, she’s
all over me about that kinda thing-- she
saged the shit out of the office.
Anyway, the book title has the word
“desperate” in it. You don’t want to
think of yourself as a desperate
character, Beck.22.She knows he’s lecturing her from a pretty silly soapbox,
yet the advice still makes her uneasy. It lands. But
then, he smiles-- simple, direct--
BENJI (CONT’D)
Because you’re the opposite, babe.
You’re the smartest girl I know.
Honestly, you blow me away.
Okay. Now we get it-- when Benji actually focuses on a
human besides himself, he’s irresistible. But the moment
evaporates the second he checks his phone, and sees--
BENJI (CONT’D)
Shit. Gotta roll. Jono’s blowing up my
phone. Hey, maybe you can come by, test
the new flavors-- we’re doing cumin cause
I know how much you love Indian food.
BECK
Sure. Sounds great.
Beck puts a t-shirt on over her naked body.
BENJI
(squeezes her ass)
It looks good on you, by the way. The
extra weight.
Benji’s on his phone half way out the door.
BENJI (CONT’D)
(into phone)
On my way bro. You guys ordering pizza?
Yeah but not from that vegan place, vegan
pizza tastes like stale ass.
Benji’s gone. Beck surveys the now empty apartment. She
flops down on the couch with her phone. Frustrated. She
grabs her remote. Clicks on the TV. Channel surfs.
OUTSIDE
Joe watches.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
He’s a bad habit. You know he is, Beck.
You look like you want to apologize to
yourself every time you think about him.
BACK INSIDE
Beck turns the TV off. A beat... and her hand slips
under her shirt. Eyes slip shut in concentration. Brow
furrows. Something lonely, vulnerable about the gesture. 23.After a second we realize, she’s masturbating .
OUTSIDE
Joe takes a step back.
JOE
(quietly)
Shit.
He turns away, like he wants to give her privacy. But
then... he can’t help it. He looks again.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
So you didn’t finish.
Joe watches with something like tenderness.
FROM JOE’S VOYEUR POV: Beck pleases herself with the
abandon of a girl who thinks she has complete privacy.
Joe reaches down to adjust what is clearly a hard
situation in his pants. He looks around at the empty
street. Considers something for a second as we go...
BACK INSIDE
Beck is still on the couch.
Only now Joe is standing above her.
But she doesn’t scream. Instead, Beck smiles.
Beckoning. Joe removes his shirt, undoes his pants. He
climbs atop her. They begin to make love. Beck arches--
BECK
That’s right, Joe. Just like that.
That’s when THE SOUND OF A DOOR OPENING PULLS US BACK --
ACROSS THE STREET
Where Joe has been masturbating in the shadow of a
building.
AN OBLIVIOUS OLDER WOMAN RESIDENT leaving the building
has just INTERRUPTED JOE and HIS FANTASY.
Joe buttons his pants. Turns to where the OLDER WOMAN
struggles to carry a PIECE OF LUGGAGE down the stairs.
Ever the polite boy, Joe sighs, moves to help.24.OLDER WOMAN
Thank you. You’re so kind. My husband
always says there’s no nice young people
left in New York.
As Joe places the luggage down on the sidewalk --
FROM HIS POV: Beck’s done. She’s walking away from the
couch to get a snack. Joe missed the big moment.
OLDER WOMAN (CONT’D)
I don’t suppose you can help me hail a
cab. Can you?
JOE
Of course.
Joe glumly raises his hand to flag a CAB. DISSOLVE TO :
EXT. JOE’S APARTMENT - ESTABLISHING - LATER
Joe trudges up the street. His big day complete.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Something’s in the air tonight, Beck,
‘cause everyone but me is getting action.
Even lovebirds Claudia and Ron made up.
Joe looks up to his NEIGHBOR’S WINDOW where A SHADE is
DRAWN but SOUNDS of INTENSE LOVEMAKING emanate.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Their sex is somehow louder than Ron
beating the ever-loving shit out of her.
INT. JOE’S BUILDING - STAIRCASE - MOMENTS LATER
Joe walks up the landing, he finds PACO on the floor by
his door, READING the end of The Three Musketeers .
JOE
Don’t tell me you’re done.
PACO
Finished yesterday. Just rereading the
good parts today. I dug it. Tight
action, good characters. Sometimes the
dialogue is weird though. Like when
they’re killing each other and still all
nice to each other about it. 25.JOE
Well it was the 19th Century. People
still had manners.
PACO
I was hoping we could go get another one?
JOE
It’s pretty late, Pac...
They’re interrupted by the SOUNDS of PACO’S MOTHER and
her BOYFRIEND HAVING SEX.
JOE (CONT’D)
Okay. Sure. Let’s go. But only if we
get some milkshakes on the way.
Paco lights up, leaps up excitedly and down the stairs in
front of Joe, pretending to swordfight , adding:
PACO
“We are men and after all it is our
business to risk our lives!”
INT. MOONEY’S RARE AND USED - LATER
Joe unlocks the door and they enter. Joe flips on the
lights as Paco weaves through the stacks, SLURPING his
milkshake and speaking in an adolescent torrent.
PACO
Did you know Dumas was a black dude? I
googled him. At school, I’m not allowed
to use Ron’s computer cause one time I
found all these naked women on it. Ron
told me it’s cause he’s learning to paint
“the human form” and if I touch his stuff
again he would teach me a lesson in
respect. Anyway, Dumas’ grandmother was
a slave and his dad was a Brigadier
General in Napoleon's army, he was
nicknamed The Black Devil cause this one
time he killed like half a battalion, you
probably knew that since you work in a
bookstore. How’d you get to work here
anyway?
Paco arrives at section where Joe scans a shelf.
JOE
Mr. Mooney gave me a job when I was just
a little older than you. Sorta took me
in.26.PACO
He sounds nice. Mr. Mooney.
JOE
He was a dick. But he loved books and he
taught me to love them too.
PACO
I never see him here. Is he dead?
JOE
Nope. Just really old. He lives in
assisted living.
(can’t find it)
Hunh? Must be out.
PACO
Out of what?
JOE
Your next read. I guess Ethan didn’t
reorder it. C’mon. Follow me. I’ll
show you where we keep the good stuff.
INT. MOONEY’S RARE AND USED - BASEMENT - MOMENTS LATER
Lights FLICKER ON, revealing a dimly lit basement stacked
with shipping boxes, cleaning supplies and in the middle
of it all--
A MASSIVE CAGE-- really, a state-of-the-art SAFE -- a room
within the room made of STEEL and PLEXIGLASS carefully
constructed to house RARE BOOKS. Paco looks at the
structure with more awe than fear.
JOE
The Cage . It’s where we keep the early
editions and collectibles.
PACO
It’s cold.
JOE
Sixty five degrees. Sound proof so that
nothing would disturb Mr. Mooney’s
reading. There’s even a toilet so he
didn’t have to come upstairs to use the
bathroom while he was down here.
PACO
If the zombies come, this is where I’m
hiding.27.Joe unlocks the cage. They enter. Paco walks toward the
collectibles. He lovingly RUNS a FINGER over the lucite-
encased SPINE of an OLD EDITION when WE HEAR:
MR. MOONEY (O.C.)
Careful, Joseph.
PACO turns and we FLASHBACK TO YEARS EARLIER:
MR. MOONEY (Russian immigrant, 50’s) stands over a 14
year old Joe with a home-cut hair and a black eye.
MR. MOONEY (CONT’D)
When it comes to a book’s value, it’s all
about condition. I’ll show you.
BACK TO PACO and JOE.
Joe crosses and begins to instruct Paco, and WE INTERCUT
BETWEEN them and MR. MOONEY and YOUNG JOE years earlier .
JOE
Always sixty five degrees at all times.
Humidity at 40 percent, if it’s too moist
the pages can mildew...
MR. MOONEY
...Too dry, they get brittle. Keep books
upright so the spines don’t become warped
or rolled or what we call “cocked”...
JOE
...You don’t want the flaps tucked or
creased in any way. We dust the covers
once a day with a chemical free duster...
MR. MOONEY
...Always dust toward the spines, so you
don’t tear or rip the corners...
JOE
...And under no circumstances is there
any sunlight in this room...
MR. MOONEY
Sunlight can ruin a book as fast as fire.
JOE
Faster. MR. MOONEY (CONT'D)
Faster.
PACO
Wow. That’s a lot of stuff to remember
just to take care of some old books.28.Joe leans down close to Paco. The closest he’s gotten
yet. It should make us feel a little uncomfortable.
JOE
The most valuable things in life, Paco,
are usually the most helpless. So they
need people like us to watch over them.
Protect them. Y’know?
Joe reaches his HAND out TOWARD PACO’S FACE AND... right
past him to a GRAB the BOOK he’s looking for.
JOE (CONT’D)
Here you go.
PACO
(takes, reads)
The Count of Monte Cristo .
JOE
Considered to be Dumas’ best work. It’s
about revenge. And waiting for what you
want, even if it means waiting a really
really long time.
Paco holds it respectfully, a little worried.
PACO
I probably shouldn’t take this home.
JOE
It’s not a first edition, just an old
one. And besides, I trust you.
Paco smiles. It’s nice to be trusted.
INT. JOE’S BUILDING - HALLWAY - LATER
Joe and Paco, book under his arm, head up the stairs.
RON, Paco’s STEP-DAD, stands there waiting. He’s pissed.
RON
Where you been, Paco?
PACO
We just grabbed some milkshakes-
RON
Did you ask if you could grab food? Do
you walk away with strangers?
PACO
Joe’s not--29.RON
Yes he is. Go inside. Now.
Paco throws an apologetic look to Joe and heads in.
RON (CONT’D)
Stay away from my girlfriend’s kid.
Joe manages to answer calmly--
JOE
Listen, I’m sorry. But he was out here
and he could hear everything that was
going on in there .
RON
Don’t tell me how to parent, weirdo.
Maybe this works on other people, the
whole I’m a sweet, nice guy act. But I’m
a parole officer fifteen years and I can
see what you are.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Well, you’re a fat alcoholic who beats
the shit out of your bipolar girlfriend
in front of her son. So please,
illuminate me, what am I?
RON
You’re a freak. You got freak eyes. So
you stay the fuck away from Paco, or I
take your freak eyes out with a fucking
steak knife. Do you understand me you
loser piece of shit?
Enough said. Ron heads back inside. Joe stands there.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
There are some scary people in the world,
Beck. That’s why it’s important to be
safe.
Finally, he heads to his apartment.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
And why I had to do what I did next.
END OF ACT TWO30.ACT THREE
INT. MOONEY’S RARE AND USED - MID-DAY
Slow day. Joe’s looking at the store DESKTOP COMPUTER.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
A few days had passed and still no
mention of the nice guy from the
bookstore. Had we even connected?
ON THE SCREEN: The latest from Beck’s SOCIAL MEDIA. More
YOGA pics, tweets about a night out, and even A SELFIE
with HER and BENJI making WEIRD FACES into CAMERA.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Maybe you were too busy screwing Benji to
notice the real thing when it finally
landed in your lap.
Ethan rushes in, backpack over one shoulder--
ETHAN
Joe, sorry I’m late -- Rastiche , my
balalaika teacher ran over today. Great
guy. Really slow talker.
JOE
It’s fine. Drop your stuff and come take
over up front.
Ethan disappears into the back. Joe opens GOOGLE...
JOE’S THOUGHTS
There was only one way to know for sure.
He Googles THE GAS COMPANY number... DIALS on his CELL.
JOE
(into cell)
Hi. I’m smelling gas in our apartment?
EXT. BECK’S BUILDING - LATER
... as a GAS COMPANY VAN pulls up in front.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Fun fact: did you know, Beck, the law
requires all gas leaks be investigated.
ACROSS THE STREET... 31.There’s Joe. Standing. Watching as the SUPER exits
BECK’S BUILDING and greets the GAS COMPANY MAN getting
out of the van. They enter the building together.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
I was careful to pick a day you had a
full schedule. Wouldn’t want to scare
you.
INT. BECK’S BUILDING - HALLWAY - DAY
The SUPER leads a GAS COMPANY MAN to Beck’s door--
SUPER
She’s at work I think -
GAS COMPANY MAN
Must have called before she left.
The Super pulls out a key ring and UNLOCKS the apartment.
SUPER
Worst lock in the building. Key sticks.
Call when you’re done, I’ll come lock up.
The Gas Company Man enters Beck’s apartment...
INT. BECK’S APARTMENT - LATER
The Gas Company man is PACKING UP HIS STUFF when--
JOE (O.C.)
Beck? You left the door open again, I
thought we said no more doing that --
Joe enters to see the Gas Man.
JOE (CONT’D)
Oh. Hey. Beck here?
GAS COMPANY MAN
Nope--
JOE
Oh.
(polite but firm)
Did she let you in?
GAS COMPANY MAN
Her Super did. Someone reported a leak. 32.JOE
She mentioned something this morning.
Everything okay?
GAS COMPANY MAN
Yeah, all clear now-- tell your
girlfriend there’s no leak. I’m done, so-
JOE
Great. Thanks. I can lock up.
Gas Company Man shrugs, picks up his stuff, heads out.
Leaving Joe alone among Beck’s every worldly possession.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Where is it, Beck? Holder of all
secrets. Your laptop.
A SERIES OF CUTS : JOE delicately rummages through her
place. Starts at the couch. Searches in and under it.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
When we live together, your place won’t
be a pig sty. I’ll clean for us.
CUT TO: Joe stops at a table, where Beck left DIRTY
TUPPERWARE .
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
And you won’t eat all this frozen shit.
I’ll cook for you every day. Promise.
CUT TO: Joe lifts a pair of PANTIES off the dresser.
Holds them tenderly in his hand. Pockets them.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
I’ll even do your laundry.
CUT TO: A shelf stacked with DOG-EARED COPIES of BOOKS.
Joe examines the AUTHORS, opens ONE, flips through it.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
And take care of your favorite books.
Especially the poets you seem to love.
CUT TO: Beck’s unmade bed. Joe hovers, checks out the
dent in the pillow. Gently, he pulls back the covers.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
I’ll make our bed every morning.
And there it is: BECK’S LAPTOP.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
And no matter how hard you fight me ...33.Joe grabs the computer and sits on the bed. Opens it up.
And sure enough, IT BLINKS RIGHT ON.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
...I will always make sure you password
protect your devices.
Joe is now freely SEARCHING ACROSS all Beck’s files.
PHOTOBOOTH is open. Joe inspects A STREAM of PRIVATE
SELFIES. A girl trying to figure out what her best
angles are, what looks sexy. In some, she’s TOPLESS.
PROFESSOR LEAHY (PRE-LAP)
One day you won't need love anymore, you
won't walk through the world as though it
was your job to hold everything up, the
sun, the sky, the hard part of night...
INT. PROFESSOR’S OFFICE - AROUND THE SAME TIME
Where we find it’s PROFESSOR LEAHY reading. He leans
back in a chair, the afternoon sun casts a dusty glow.
PROFESSOR LEAHY
...You loved him the way fragile kids
love gorgeous bullies. You wrote poems
about him. You still write poems about
him. You're writing one right now.
REVEAL BECK sitting opposite. Smiling expectantly.
PROFESSOR LEAHY (CONT’D)
It’s good. Quite good. Sincerely.
BECK
(a sigh of relief)
I struggled with the form more than I
thought I would.
PROFESSOR LEAHY
But Beck-- Where are we on your thesis?
You owe me pages.
BECK
I’ve been-- honestly, working every day,
and grading papers--
PROFESSOR LEAHY
Look, if the schedule is too rigorous,
drop back to part time.34.BECK
But then I won’t qualify to TA-- I need
the cash. And the housing. I’d lose my
place-
An edge is creeping into her voice. He hears it. Calmly-
PROFESSOR LEAHY
I’m sure you’ll figure that out-- you’re
smart or you wouldn’t be here.
BECK
Please, Professor Leahy --PROFESSOR LEAHY (CONT'D)
Paul.
BECK
Paul. I’ll get you pages by the end of
the week. I can’t go to part time, okay.
He sits back. Sighs. Takes her in.
PROFESSOR LEAHY
I’m rooting for you, Beck. The poems are
good. They’re just not going to earn you
a degree. It is what it is. But I also
happen to think with work your poetry
could be something. I’m happy to discuss
those further as well. After class some
evening.
So casual, Beck could almost believe he isn’t hitting on
her. Is he?
PROFESSOR LEAHY (CONT’D)
If we’re going to seriously discuss
poetry, it should be over a drink.
Thursday? There’s a small gastropub in
the Bowery I love. Hidden away from all
this madness.
Okay, yeah, Professor Leahy is definitely DTF.
BECK
I would love that, Paul. It’s just...
how would your wife feel about--
PROFESSOR LEAHY
About me helping out an aspiring writer?
She’s used to my generosity.
Beck swallows her dignity and produces a slight smile.
PROFESSOR LEAHY (CONT’D)
So. Thursday night then? 35.BECK
Thursday night it is.
PROFESSOR LEAHY
Excellent. Don’t worry about class the
next few days, go home and get caught up.
I’ll cover here in the meantime.
Beck retains her composure, gathers her bag and exits.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
So I learned three definitive things by
scouring your computer, Beck...
EXT. CAMPUS - OUTSIDE LEAHY’S OFFICE - DAY
As Beck walks from Leahy’s office amongst the SEA of
STUDENTS. She’s clearly upset by her Leahy encounter.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
First, your dad didn’t die of a heart
attack. He OD’ed and you were the one
that found him. This explains your
royally fucked up relationship with men.
Beck starts TO TEXT someone. As she does WE SEE THE TEXT
APPEAR AS A CHYRON as she types it, and we hear:
BECK’S VOICE
I need to see you tonight.
REVEAL her PHONE SCREEN. It’s a CHAT with BENJI. Beck
anxiously awaits his text back.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Second, you’re really swept up in this
Benji insanity. You text him
incessantly. You write poems about him.
Good poems. But he could care less about
you. His texts are a series of
noncommittal words mixed with compliments
meant to keep you hanging on.
PING. Benji TEXTS back. We READ and HEAR:
BENJI’S VOICE
Will if I can babe. Working late.
A second later, another PING--36.INT. BECK’S APARTMENT - SAME TIME
And now we’re with Joe as he sees these same texts come
up REAL TIME in a box on her computer--
BENJI’S VOICE
PS. I still smell like your pussy. ;)
Off Joe’s unimpressed face--
EXT. CAMPUS - OUTSIDE LEAHY’S OFFICE - SAME TIME
Back to Beck, who looks happy enough for the meager
attention. She pockets her phone. Continues walking.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
But none of this matters because of my
third and greatest discovery...
INT. BECK’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - DAY
JOE’S lying comfortably on BECK’S BED now, reading her
COMPUTER and SMILING the WIDEST SMILE we’ve seen yet.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
February 5th, 11:06 AM, an hour after our
encounter at the bookstore, amidst a
group text with friends about the merits
of vaginal detoxing , you wrote:
On the SCREEN. In her CHAT HISTORY:
BECK’S VOICE
Wow. Just met a human male who actually
reads. Alert the media.
(and then)
What if it’s finally time for me to date
someone good for me?
There it is . For Joe this is the ultimate confirmation.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Thank you for letting me know I wasn’t
crazy after all.
In a moment of sheer enthusiasm he does a silent cheer.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
I was so excited I almost didn’t hear
your key in the door.
SUDDENLY there is the SOUND of A LOCK. The FRONT DOOR .
Luckily for Joe THE LOCK STICKS (worst in the building). 37.Joe carefully CLOSES the COMPUTER, buries it in sheets.
BECK (O.C.)
Yes I remember what you said when you
sent money last time. Yes I’m grateful.
BECK walks into the bedroom, kicking off shoes, on cell.
REVEAL the WHOLE ROOM. Joe’s gone. Phew.
BECK (CONT’D)
(into phone)
...I’m working constantly. No, I’ve
looked, there’s no place cheaper to live.
INT. BECK’S APARTMENT - BATHROOM - SAME TIME
Joe looks for a window, no luck. Quietly, he steps into
the shower, painstakingly pulls the curtain shut.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
I wasn’t worried. I’ve seen enough
romantic comedies to know guys like me
are always getting in jams like this.
Beck walks into the bathroom, still on the phone--
BECK
I did and he basically offered to sleep
with me. No, I can’t report him, that’s
not how it works. Not the school, the
world. That’s not how the world works.
Beck reaches through the still-closed curtain, and turns
on the water. Joe’s HIT BY ICY SPRAY, can’t make a
sound.
BECK (CONT’D)
(into phone)
I know this was all my choice. I know
how much you’ve helped me, it’s just--
hard here. Harder than I thought.
As she listens, she deflates. It’s a no. Quietly--
BECK (CONT’D)
(into phone)
I’ll figure it out. I gotta go. Talk to
you this weekend-- Oh right, when you get
back from the cruise. Have fun with Aunt
Donna. Tell her I said hi. Bye, Mom.
Beck HANGS UP. She’s standing at the mirror taking in
her whole day, week, life. And she begins TO CRY. 38.Beck meets her own eyes in the mirror, grips the sink.
Really crying now. Shower pelting him, Joe listens.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
(softly)
It’s okay, Beck.
He raises a hand, as if to send consolation. Looks like
she might get in the shower and end this whole pilot when-
HER FACETIME BUZZES.
Beck answers. LYNN and PEACH ON SCREEN. Having fun.
LYNN (ON SCREEN)
BITCH, where are you at, come play!
BECK
Guys, it’s not even six.
LYNN (ON SCREEN)
Why they call it happy hour!
BECK
I can’t go out, I just had the worst day--
PEACH (ON SCREEN)
Whatever it is, Beckalish , we can fix it.
LYNN (ON SCREEN)
Yes us and copious amounts of drinking!
Beck thinks about it. An idea occurs ... And, determined:
BECK
Do you guys love me?
PEACH/LYNN (ON SCREEN)
Omigod of course/Like a sister/forever
BECK
Then I need you to meet me in Greenpoint.
PEACH/LYNN (ON SCREEN)
Come to us/yeah it’s fun where we are.
BECK
There’s something I need to do. For
myself. I’ll text you on my way.
Beck HANGS UP. She reaches into the shower, turns it
OFF. As the door shuts, Joe, soaking, finally exhales.
END OF ACT THREE39.ACT FOUR
EXT./INT. STREET OUTSIDE - EVENING
A semi-wet Joe flags down A CAB. He gets in.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
I never go to Greenpoint. But the things
you do for love, right?
Joe looks at HIS PHONE and BECK’S TWITTER FEED. Sees:
BECK’S VOICE
Any girls, boys or other that like poetry
there’s an open mic tonight at Mike’s
Candy Store. Guess who’s sharing?
JOE
650 Lorimar Street. Brooklyn.
INT. MIKE’S CANDY STORE - NIGHT
The bar is packed. A neo-folk SINGER at the MIC.
Beck is at the bar ordering a drink. We FIND PEACH AND
LYNN sitting a FEW TABLES AWAY. Looking miserable.
PEACH
What is she thinking? She’s just going
to embarrass herself. This isn’t Girls.
These people don’t want to listen to a
wannabe writer read a poem about the
bleakness of life or whatever.
LYNN
And all these chips I keep eating. I
feel so fat right now.
REVEAL Joe listening in from the next booth, back to
them, cap pulled low. Eavesdropping.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Your friends are disloyal. And that
amazon, Peach, is the worst. The way she
talks about them to you? As soon as you
leave, she talks about you the same way.
BACK TO THE LADIES --40.PEACH
This is about Benji-- She’s so desperate
for his attention she will willingly go
up in front of the most hypercritical
crowd in all of Brooklyn-
LYNN
He’s so full of himself. The way he says
his name like it’s French. BenJeee.
Beck arrives back at the TABLE with more drinks. She’s
for sure a little drunk already.
BECK
Another round of picklebacks .
LYNN
You’re a mite tipsy.
BECK
That’s the idea.
PEACH
Beckish, we sure now’s the night?
BECK
Positive. I need to do this. All of my
life lately has been about surviving. I
need to remind myself why I came here in
the first place.
She checks her phone.
PEACH
Why do you keep doing that?
Beck smiles like a child who’s gotten busted.
BECK
I invited Benji. What? He likes poetry.
PEACH
Beck.BECK (CONT'D)
He’s coming.
PEACH
He texted he was coming?
BECK
He texted a row of smile emojis like 45
minutes ago.
(cranes her neck)
I... think I see him?
We see what she sees: a tall HIPSTER, from the back.41.PEACH
Some guys are assholes and you just have
to accept that. You can buy him all the
books in the world and he’s still gonna
be Benji.
BECK
I get it, Peach.
PEACH
You’re the one who told me to keep
reminding you he’s a bastard.
ONSTAGE, the MC reads from the list.
MC
Up next, we have... Guinevere Beck?
Beck rises, a little unsteady, clutching her phone.
BECK
To vulnerability and shit.
Beck downs her drink. Drunk, now. And heads to the
stage. Joe steps into shadow, so as not to be spotted.
BECK (CONT’D)
(into mic)
Hey, everyone. I’m Beck, and I’m-- not
to sound like, you know, whatever, but
just: I’m a poet.
Joe feels for Beck as nerves overtake her. She CLEARS
her throat. She reads into the mic FROM HER PHONE:
BECK (CONT’D)
One day you won't need love anymore.
one day you won't walk through the world
as though it was your job to hold
everything up, the sun, the hard part
of night, the too much, the secret
time when you wake to the sound of
beating. Rise to answer the door for him
but he is not there because that sound is
coming from inside you and you cannot
answer it no matter how far in you go.
She checks the crowd. No one’s listening. The HIPSTER
at the bar turns and she sees it’s NOT BENJI. This
deflates her. She takes a breath, refocuses.
But JOE steps HALF OUT OF THE SHADOWS, transfixed.42.BECK (CONT’D)
You get dressed and put on your sneakers.
You drive to a low building with bright
signs. You order tall drinks. You play
with your food, making mountains.
You watch everything at three a.m.
happening outside the window and it is
all you, it is all you, it is all you and
you will feel this way until you grow out
of it, you will feel this way until you
fall into some sense of the world...
Joe’s frustrated with the AUDIENCE that’s paying no
attention. One DRUNK MAN HAILS a waitress. A MUSICIAN
TUNES his GUITAR. It’s eating Beck’s confidence, fast.
BECK (CONT’D)
(struggling, now)
...You loved him the way fragile kids
love gorgeous bullies. You wrote poems
about him. You still write poems about
him. You're writing one right now...
Beck’s FRIENDS CHEER tipsily. Beck loses her place in
the poem. She scrolls anxiously--
BECK (CONT’D)
Sorry. My phone went to sleep. Just
take a second to find where I was...
The AUDIENCE is LOUDER in their REJECTION NOW. The DRUNK
MAN SHOUTS for the next act. Others AGREE. Disaster.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
I can’t stand seeing this. I’m sorry I
just can’t. It’s obvious what you are...
Joe watches painfully before he finally leaves.
EXT. BROOKLYN STREET - NIGHT
Joe walks away from the bar, fast. Pulls his coat tight
against him, keeping out the night air and the world.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
You’re blind with love. And what you
love-- writing, this city, your friends,
and most of all men like Benji, what all
those things have in common is they will
never love you back. While you give
everything. Crazy the lengths we go for
love. We’re a lot alike, Beck. Last of
the true romantics...43.INT. SUBWAY ENTRANCE STAIRS - LATER
Joe stands, dejected. The station is empty but for him
and a HOMELESS MAN, SINGING to himself.
HOMELESS MAN
Engine engine number nine, on the New
York transit line....
JOE’S THOUGHTS
I was considering this with my new friend
Mr. Insane Homeless Person when the
second luckiest thing that happened to me
this week happened...
Joe sees A DRUNK, UPSET WOMAN descending the stairs.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Could it really be?
Joe looks a little closer at the DRUNK WOMAN.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
It feels like I’m dreaming.
It’s BECK. She’s in her own world.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
I’m not.
Joe MOVES behind a PILLAR. Beck walks to the platform.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
You’re too drunk to be alone. What if
some sicko had followed you down here?
Joe watches Beck. She takes out her PHONE and is DRUNK
TEXTING as she STUMBLES a little TOO CLOSE to THE TRACKS.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
And you’re too wasted to be standing so
close to the tracks.
HOMELESS MAN
Engine engine number nine on the New York
Transit line, if my train runs off the
track--
Beck throws a glare at the MAN. Moves away. Closer TO
THE TRACKS. Then: a new thought that MUST BE TEXTED.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Beck. Stop texting that arrogant, club
soda, no show dickhead. 44.Beck’s PHONE PINGS. She LAUGHS at a RESPONSE.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
You want Benji. You need Benji. You
hold that phone like it is Benji cause
it’s your only means to stay connected.
She begins to TEXT BACK and WALKING as she does. Unaware
that she’s walking... CLOSER TO THE EDGE.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Forget Benji and To Hell With That Phone.
Beck goes to pocket her PHONE but it PINGS AGAIN, she
goes to look at the response and accidentally DROPS IT.
The PHONE FALLS. And SLIDES RIGHT NEXT TO THE EDGE.
Beck bends down to PICK IT UP when SUDDENLY --
HOMELESS MAN
Engine engine number nine, on the New
York transit line!!!
STARTLING HER -- BECK STRAIGHTENS -
And FALLS OFF THE PLATFORM ONTO THE TRACKS WITH A SCREAM !
For a second, Joe stares with such impassivity that we
expect him to turn and leave her there. When:
BECK (O.C.)
OH MY GOD! HELP!
Joe looks to the Homeless Man, nervous what to do --
BECK (O.C.) (CONT’D)
HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP ME!
Joe thinks, then finally races to the edge-- Joe looks
down-- and BECK, in a total panic, sees him there--
BECK (CONT’D)
HELP ME, PLEASE--
JOE
Hey! Stay still. Half that shit down
there can electrocute you.
She LOOKS DOWN the DARKNESS of THE TUNNEL --
BECK
A train’s coming-- I’m gonna die!45.JOE
A train’s not coming. You’re okay.
HOMELESS MAN
If my train runs off the track, pick it
up pick it up pick it up!
BECK
I’m gonna die because of his stupid
fucking singing! That’s why I fell!
JOE
Give me your hand.HOMELESS MAN
Pick it up pick it up pick
it up!
JOE
Sir? Please!
Joe lies belly down on the platform, reaches out a hand.
JOE (CONT’D)
You’ll be okay. Just take my hand!
HOMELESS MAN
If my train runs off the
track--JOE (CONT'D)
(to the homeless guy)
Sir, shut the fuck up!
BECK
It’s coming, I hear it coming--
Now we do hear a train coming. She’s right. Shit.
JOE
YOUR HAND. NOW!
Something in Beck snaps lucid. She goes, reaches up--
And Joe PULLS BECK TO SAFETY.
They lie side by side, BREATHING HARD AS --
A TRAIN WHOOSHES BY THEM . Beck’s SHAKING.
She pulls herself to a seated position, so close, and
she’s LAUGHING and she’s CRYING. The train’s gone.
Silence. Beck calms. Joe and Beck’s eyes meet. And--
She THROWS UP ON HIM.
END OF ACT FOUR46.ACT FIVE
EXT. NEW YORK STREET - NIGHT
Outside a 7/11, Joe pours a BOTTLE OF WATER over the
vomit on his clothes, cleans himself up with a wad of
napkins. Beck watches. More sober and mortified.
BECK
Oh my god, oh my god I’m so sorry--
JOE
It’s fine, it’s fine-- I hated this
jacket.
BECK
(laughs)
I really am sorry.
(then)
You mind?
She grabs the rest of the bottle and drinks it.
JOE
Let’s get you in a cab.
Joe eyes the street for a cab.
BECK
I’m not always like this.
JOE
I figured you had some kinda bad night.
BECK
I drank because I have stage fright.
JOE
Actress?
BECK
Writer. Maybe not a writer.
(she looks at him clearly)
I don’t want to sound like a stalker but
I think I know you.
JOE
I don’t--
BECK
The bookstore the other day. Paula Fox.
JOE
Oh-- oh, shit, I’m so sorry, of course!47.She pulls her hair out of her face and holds it.
BECK
This is what I look like
when I’m sober and my hair
is up.JOE (CONT'D)
Of course. Yes. I’m
sorry.
BECK
It’s okay, I have a pretty bland face.
JOE
No... you don’t. And you have good
taste. I remember, Desperate Characters .
BECK
Yeah. Also how apt in this particular
moment. What are you doing out this way?
Joe smiles, hails a cab. As it pulls over--
JOE
Visiting some friends. Where you headed?
BECK
Village. You anywhere close? Ride with
me. Least I can do.
INT. CAB - NIGHT
Beck and Joe in the backseat. Beck watches the city
through the window, fading from the long night.
BECK
I keep thinking I’ve reached the pinnacle
of humiliation, and then I top myself.
JOE
I trip and fall all the time. Maybe not
on actual tracks, but that’s dumb luck.
BECK
Did you move here to be something? I
did. But it’s not working out. And I’m
just running around 18 hours a day in
service of a dream that gets more and
more... like when you look in a window
and you breathe on it so it gets cloudier
and cloudier till you can’t even see.
(a frustrated laugh)
I’m sure those words made no sense, said
the alleged writer.
JOE
They made perfect sense. 48.BECK
I’m like... dancing as fast as I can.
And why? My mom will die not impressed.
My dad already did die. What’s it all
built on, a foundation of like hope and
adolescent angst and... never mind.
She looks at him. Then away, a little embarrassed.
BECK (CONT’D)
Sorry.
JOE
Please. I feel the same way sometimes.
This guy I know, owns the bookstore
actually, once told me all books add up
to one essential truth. Which is, if
your IQ is over a certain number, life is
pretty much unbearable. And the number
isn’t even that high.
BECK
I do think I’d be happier if I was
stupider.
JOE
But the world would never know your
poetry.
BECK
How’d you know I write poetry?
Fuck. But she’s not suspicious, just curious.
JOE
Doesn’t every young writer in New York?
I read a lot of poetry.
BECK
Who do you like?
JOE
Mark Strand, Anne Sexton, Merrill...
BECK
You’re basically describing my
nightstand .
JOE
If you read those to get to sleep you
definitely belong here.
BECK
It’s hard. It’s lonely.49.JOE
Yeah. It’s also expensive.
BECK
Right? I feel like I’m on the verge of
becoming some punch-line, you know,
casualty of the big bad city--
JOE
Somehow I doubt it.
Their eyes meet. A moment between them. Gently--
BECK
You don’t know me.
JOE
I wouldn’t say that-- I know a few
things. I know how you are in a crisis--
BECK
Yeah, a mess--
JOE
Alive and determined.
(then)
Look, I get it. Pursuing your dreams
it’s easy to feel like you’re just
chipping away at an entire glacier. But
if you stick with it, there’s a moment
where the whole thing falls. Give up one
chip before that, nothing. Stick it out
enough, everything can happen at once.
BECK
I like your thinking, Joe... What was
your last name again?
JOE
Goldberg.
She tilts her head to rest on the seat. Closes her eyes.
BECK
Where did you come from Joe Goldberg?
JOE
Grew up here. Left for a little while.
Chasing a girl.
BECK
But you came back--
JOE
Missed it. And I’m not a good chaser. 50.BECK
(a sleepy smile)
Me neither...
He’s ready to go on, but he realizes she’s DOZING OFF.
Joe watches her. He her head bobs as the car moves.
After a moment, Joe shifts toward her and HER HEAD RESTS
on HIS SHOULDER. They drive on like that.
INT. CAB - BECK’S STREET - NIGHT
As the cab stops, Beck nods to the building outside.
BECK
This is me.
JOE
Bank Street. Not bad.
BECK
I’m secretly an heiress.
(then)
Thanks for sobering me up. And for
saving my life.
JOE
I didn’t --
BECK
Yeah, you did.
A beat. Is Beck going to ask Joe up?
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Ask me up. You want to. Don’t worry,
I’ll say no. It’s too early...
Just then, a RAP AT BECK’S CAB WINDOW. She jolts. It’s
BENJI. He gives a half-wave.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Of course. Benji.
Beck rolls down the window. Joe pulls away a touch.
Obscuring HIS FACE in the shadows.
BECK
This is Joe. The guy who literally saved
my life tonight.
BENJI
Seriously? 51.BECK
Yeah, I fell, and he--
BENJI
See, babe, told you people are basically
good. Great job, bro.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Bro. You waste of hair.
Benji sticks his HAND in the window for a “high five”
with Joe. Joe hesitantly complies.
BENJI
Beck, let’s go, it’s freezing out here.
Thanks again, Joe, gold medal, brother.
Benji heads toward the apartment building. Beck meets
Joe’s eyes with a slightly embarrassed smile.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
At least you’re self-aware enough to be a
little ashamed, I guess.
JOE
Maybe I can get your info or --
BECK
Sure. Yeah.
She feels in her pocket for her phone. It’s not there.
Looks around for it --
BECK (CONT’D)
Shit. My phone --
JOE
You sure it’s not in your pocket?
BECK
I must’ve dropped it in the subway.
JOE
(pulls out his own phone)
Gimme your number, for when you get a
replacement.
BECK
Um, I’m mostly enslaved to email.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
(disappointed)
We both know that’s not true.52.BECK
Becksalot @gmail.
JOE
(types it in)
Alright, Becksalot .
BECK
Thank you. Night, Joe.
Beck pecks Joe on the cheek. And gets out.
EXT. BECK’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
We see a LIGHT TURN ON in BECK’S WINDOW as she enters
with Benji. She’s clearly a little mad at Benji for not
showing up to the bar.
He tries to nuzzle close. She pushes him away. He looks
to be apologizing. Again.
ACROSS THE STREET
Joe is back in his spying spot. Watching.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Here’s what I learned this week, Beck.
You’re special. You’re talented. You’re
smart. You’re passionate.
FROM JOE’S VOYEUR POV
Beck relents. Benji pulls her to him, kisses her.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Except in the ways you’re really not.
BACK WITH JOE
Then REMOVES BECK’S PHONE, with its CRACKED SCREEN, from
his pocket. Beck didn’t lose it on the tracks after all.
We realize Joe must’ve swiped it in the cab .
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
Like not locking your phone.
Joe swipes the phone. It UNLOCKS. Beck’s entire life is
now open to him. He looks back up to her place...
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
And falling for men like Benji.
FROM JOE’S VOYEUR POV53.CLOTHES are COMING OFF as Benji, vape pen dangling from
his teeth, moves Beck onto the couch to fuck her.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
The thing that gets me is you know better
and you still can’t stop. You know he’s
bad news. You know.
BACK WITH JOE
For a moment longer, Joe forces himself to watch.
JOE’S THOUGHTS (CONT’D)
But you can’t help it because you have no
one and everyone needs someone. And when
you need someone you’ll reach for anyone.
Then walks away.
EXT. THE STREETS OF NEW YORK - NIGHT
Joe strolls along the avenue. Just a fool in love.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
You’re inside a house fire. Grabbing for
anything in a panic. What you really
need is someone to save you . From your
useless mom, your asshole friends, that
douchebag thesis advisor. From Benji.
INT. BECK’S APARTMENT - SAME TIME
Where Beck and Benji finish having sex. Benji cums and
rolls off her. HOLD ON HER FACE, quietly unsatisfied.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
I can help, Beck. Let me help you.
END OF ACT FIVE54.ACT SIX
EXT. JOE’S BUILDING - NIGHT
Joe arrives at his place. The LIGHT in Claudia and Ron’s
WINDOW is ON but their apartment is SILENT for ONCE.
Joe’s about to enter when from the SHADOWS he HEARS --
A VOICE (O.S.)
(hushed, nervous)
Joe... Joe...
Joe looks to where PACO stands in the CORNER. SCARED.
JOE
Paco -- what is it?
Paco doesn’t move. Joe crosses to him, sees more clearly
that Paco LOOKS SHAKEN. He’s clearly been CRYING.
PACO
It’s Ron. He came home tonight pissed
and drunk, like usual. Only my mom’s at
work and Ron started yelling at me.
Saying I thought I was so smart, reading
“my books” and looking at him like he’s
dumb --
JOE
What happened, Paco? Did he hurt you?
PACO
No... he didn’t touch me. But he...
Paco looks heartbroken as he lifts the lent COPY of The
Count of Monte Cristo . It’s TORN and TATTERED.
PACO (CONT’D)
I tried to stop him, I promise I tried -
We wonder for a moment what Joe is going to do. Joe
looks up at Ron’s window then back at Paco. Eerily zen.
JOE
Paco. Paco, it’s okay. Come with me.
We’ll fix this. Together.
INT. MOONEY’S RARE AND USED - BASEMENT - NIGHT
Lights FLICKER ON, revealing the BOMB SHELTER-LIKE
basement beneath the shop. Joe and Paco enter. Joe
walks to a SUPPLY CLOSET. As he does, he explains:55.JOE
The first step to fixing something, Paco,
is to know that no matter how destroyed
that thing seems, it can always be saved.
Books are no exception. Got it?
PACO
Got it.
JOE
Okay. The tools may seem excessive, but
usually the more fragile the item the
more specific the equipment.
QUICK CUTS as he removes ITEMS, PLACES THEM on a TABLE.
JOE (CONT’D)
C clamps to hold it; drill, drill bits;
glue, specifically Poly-Vinyl-Acetate,
means no acid to ruin the pages; glue
brushes; burlap for the spine; needle,
upholstery thread; exacto knife; awl; and
finally, right out of Bugs Bunny, a big,
trusty mallet. Okay, let’s get to work.
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. BENJI’S LOFT - THE NEXT DAY
A live-work space with the trappings of a start-up: cases
of Home Soda, HOT ASSISTANTS milling about. BENJI’s on a
couch next to bud/biz partner JONO, playing A VIDEO GAME.
BENJI’S PHONE BUZZES. He checks it. Lights up.
BENJI
Damn! Jono. Listen to this. “Dear
Benji, Heard about your soda from
acquaintances. Am interested in including
you on my fall list of Must Tries . Would
love to discuss. Perhaps even try some?
Jeff Pevensey .”
JONO
That’s the dude you’re always retweeting ?
BENJI
The culture guy for NY
Magazine --JONO (CONT'D)
Hit him back, bro --
BENJI
No shit. Back off while I think.
(as he types)
Jeff, So nice to hear from you, bud.
Yeah our sodas are legit.56.CUT BACK TO: THE BASEMENT:
THE C-CLAMPS hold THE BOOK in place while JOE DRILLS at
the BINDING. MORE CUTS as he REPAIRS the book with the
skill of a Swiss Watch Maker. NARRATING as he OPERATES:
JOE
Drill carefully along the spine. Watch
your fingers, don’t wanna hurt yourself.
CUT BACK TO THE LOFT :
Benji and Jono scour JEFF PEVENSEY’S SITE ONLINE as they
await a return email. Benji’s PHONES BUZZES AGAIN.
BENJI
“Sounds great, Benji. I would love to
meet and sample some flavors. Perhaps
with curated plates. I can call between
meetings to meet up if you’re available.”
JONO
Holy shit! This is gonna take us next
level. What time you think we’ll meet?
BENJI
No offense, Jono, we discussed this, it’s
best if the product has one clear face in
the beginning. That’s more just me.
CUT BACK TO THE BASEMENT :
Joe finishes threading the spine of the book. He motions
Paco to pull on the string.
JOE
Spine’s threaded. I want you to pull the
thread as tight as you can, Paco.
Paco pulls. Tight.
CUT TO: A STREET NEAR MOONEY’S:
ON BENJI, walking, ON HIS PHONE, we may notice, he walks
right past MOONEY’S RARE AND USED. He has A BOX holding
a 12 PACK OF FLAVORS OF HOME SODA under one arm.
Benji, following instructions, turns into AN ALLEY. He
looks around, a bit confused, when he SEES
A MAN IN THE DISTANCE. Out of focus. Waving pleasantly.
THE MAN
Benji? It’s Jeff! 57.CUT BACK TO THE BASEMENT :
Joe finishes brushing glue and sets the spine.
JOE
Glue is set. Apply the binder. Now, you
can’t hesitate, you have to use all your
force. We’re gonna round the binder to
seal everything into place.
Joe lifts the MALLET, SWINGS IT AT THE BINDING. BANG!
CUT BACK TO AN ALLEY :
The MAN holds his hand out as Benji approaches. We
REALIZE it’s JOE dressed in tweeds (remember, Benji never
got a good look at him in the cab). They shake.
BENJI
Jeff, nice to meet you, man.
JOE
(indicating the alley)
I know, it’s weird, but it was the only
office space in the neighborhood. A
friend lets me work out of here if I’m in
this area. After you.
Joe OPENS THE DOOR to the BASEMENT STAIRS. Benji stands
in the doorway-- it’s dim, and suddenly, this all feels a
little too weird. But he’s eager. So Benji enters.
JOE (CONT’D)
Just down and to your left, there.
Benji can’t entirely shake the weirdness as he heads down
into the basement. After a few STEPS he RECONSIDERS.
BENJI
Hey, man, I’m thinking maybe--
Benji turns to face Joe who is now
HOLDING THE MALLET HE USED TO REPAIR THE BOOK. JOE
SWINGS IT HIGH AND BEFORE BENJI CAN REACT WE
SMASH TO BLACK .
OVER BLACK:
The TING of a SHOP DOORBELL as a customer walks in.
FADE IN:58.INT. MOONEY’S RARE AND USED BOOKS - DAY
POV THROUGH SHELVES: a customer enters. We see only a
sliver of her ... as we track her through the stacks.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
It’s two o’clock when the door chimes and
I am ready. You told your girlfriends
you would come by around this time. I
know this because I have your phone.
REVEAL the CUSTOMER is BECK. She walks towards the
counter where...
Joe rubs his sore shoulder absently as he sorts receipts.
Ethan stacks books nearby.
BECK (O.S.)
Hey.
They both look up. Beck is holding a BROWN BAG. Joe
looks surprised. Ethan smiles privately. Looks away.
JOE
Hi...
BECK
Remember me? From almost dying on the
train tracks?
JOE
Rings a bell.
BECK
I wanted to thank you.
JOE
You already did.
BECK
Well I wanted to thank you again. And
say sorry for running off so, you know,
hastily.
JOE
You had a guest.
BECK
(so over Benji)
Hardly.
(subject change; brighter:)
So, I brought you a present.
She hands him the bag.59.JOE
Thanks, you didn’t need to--BECK (CONT'D)
Shut up, just look at it.
He pulls out... a DAN BROWN NOVEL.
JOE
From a competitor?
BECK
No I actually owned this one. Open it.
He opens it. It’s inscribed:
JOE
“Engine engine number nine on the New
York transit line, if your girl falls on
the track, pick her up pick her up pick
her up.”
JOE’S THOUGHTS
We already have in jokes.
A beat. They stand there. Joe smiling, friendly but a
little reserved. She’s expectant. Finally...
BECK
So... anyway... that. I better...
JOE
Hey, maybe if you’re not too busy
sometime we can grab a drink.
BECK
Sure. I still can’t find my phone. So --
JOE
I know. Email you.
BECK
That’s right. See ya Joe.
Beck smiles and exits with the subtle swagger of a girl
who knows she’s wanted. Joe watches her go.
JOE
See you soon, Beck.
As she leaves, Ethan rounds the corner, arms full of
books, to shoot a significant look Joe’s way.
ETHAN
Well played, sir.60.JOE’S THOUGHTS
I’m not always right. I’m human. I make
mistakes all the time, Beck. You’ll see.
JOE
I’m gonna deal with the shipment
downstairs. Watch the register?
Ethan gives him a nod. Joe heads to the backroom and
DOWN THE STAIRS and into--
INT. MOONEY’S RARE AND USED - THE BASEMENT - CONTINUOUS
A series of LOCKS UNLOCK. The DOOR CREAKS OPEN. LIGHTS
FLICKER ON.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
Hell, maybe I’m just a fool in love, but
I swear I’m right about you, Beck. I
know how special you are. And I’m going
to help you get the life you deserve.
Joe eyes something in front of him. He’s looking at THE
CAGE, and more specifically
BENJI, forehead bruised and caked with dried blood,
sitting huddled in the corner. Locked in.
BENJI
Please... whatever you think I’ve done, I
haven’t. You have the wrong person.
JOE
(quietly)
No I don’t .
Benji shuts up. He’s terrified of Joe. Joe smiles.
JOE’S THOUGHTS
You’re welcome, Beck. See you soon.
SNAP TO BLACK .
END OF PILOT61. | screenplays |
44 INCH CHEST
Written by
Louis Mellis & David Scinto
PROLOGUE
Stagnant black water ... Greasy. Pitch. Thick. Oily.
Dense. Heavy... Lapping... Slow.... A desolate canal... Night.
Onto dark stones... rain-slicked... darkest slate-grey cobbles...
And on through streets... Narrow. Grimy. Sooty. Rank...
Deserted...
Pastal-disused Victorian broken-windowed, derelict
buildings and wharf side warehouses with rotten oaky loading
beams and rusted iron chains... Mossy, mildewed walls... Dripping
fetid water from corroded dilapidated ancient ruined
guttering...
Moving... Turning... Into a pinched, arched, alleyway -- If
anything darker, blacker... Foreboding... Forsaken...
And if we listen -- If we strain our ears -- listen -- we can
hear music -- faint. Ghostly. Haunting ... "Take Me Back To
Dear Ol' Blighty " as if sung by a jolly girl in a long gone
bar surrounded by drunken men...
We keep moving... The music growing... In the distance a faint
glow.... Dirty-yellow, diffused, misty light... We move towards
it... Towards the piss-coloured light...
We stop... In the middle of nowhere... Dark nowhere... and the
music fades... Fades away... Vanished... Extreme silence... All we
have is all we can see...
The gable end of an old house.... Limey-light bleeding weakly
from a broken, filthy window... All is still -- suddenly it
comes crashing down -- the end wall comes crashing down - a
flurry of bricks and mortar... Crashing down... The tumble of
masonry... And through clouds of brick-dust and rubble we see
figures inside... Through a smokey powdered fog we can see a
group of men in the downstairs room of the derelict house...
On the walls faded 40's wallpaper, peeling in parts to reveal
older dim patterns... damp patches... A window crudely boarded
up... A few unmatched armchairs in various states of disrepair
-- a 60's black vinyl, a deco-patterned smoker, a 70's cream
plastic, a brown wooden kitchen chair etc... The colours in
the room are browns, greys, caramels, darks, muted...
In the middle of the room, standing on dusty, bare wooden
floorboards, his fist clenched aggressively by his sides, is
OLD MAN PEANUT, aged 80... Skinny... Wearing a dark three piece
suit... Gold watch chain... Black Homburg... He is squaring up to
us... Staring...
3.
CONTINUED: (2)
Slightly behind, to his left, sitting nonchalantly cross-
legged in a battered brown leather wingback armchair and
casually smoking a Davidoff cigarette, is MEREDITH, late
40's... Suave... Immaculate... Wearing black handmade boots, black
Saville Row suit, black cashmere roll neck sweater, herring
bone overcoat with a black velvet collar, brown leather
gloves, his jet-black hair is heavily brilliantined.... Behind
him an old wardrobe...
Standing with his back three quarters to us, and leaning on a
broken, chipped, mantelpiece over a smashed tiled fireplace
is ARCHIE, aged 52... Big... Avuncular... Wearing a car coat and
casual nondescript clothes... he is pouring himself a Captain
Morgan's rum from a bottle into a polystyrene cup... He sort
of sees us -- is not fussed -- drinks...
Standing at the back of the room, in front of a door which *
has at some time been on fire, (it's yellowing, tobacco-ey
paint charred and blistered), is MAL, aged mid-40's... Wearing
a silver-grey suit, white shirt, duck-egg blue silk tie...
There is another man in the room but we do not see his face --
for he s its slu mpe d, h ead in his han ds in o ne of t he
armchairs - a picture of despair. He wears an olive green
shirt, brown trousers, maroon braces... This is COLIN, aged
late 40's...
CUT TO
Blackness and silence...
In the silent black an outsize boot appears - scuffed and
tatty... Attached to skinny legs in black tights... The legs
gangle and flip pulling into view a bony, pasty, bare torso
which is undulating oddly -- and here comes the head! - Long,
lank, shoulder length hair... Dripping from a white domed pate
- The face poker straight in contrast to the comedic body-
antics -- A grave-grey face -- Fleshy, bulbous, rubbery...
Ladies and Gentlemen -- MAX WALL!
He goon-walks about for a bit in the black space... Baboon-
bottomed... As if knees tied together... Aflickin' and akickin'
his clown boots... His unhappy face... Like death... Prancing...
Ridiculous dancing... Absurd...
Giant C/U on his morose contorted phizzog...
MAX
(Directly to us... darkly)
...Evenin'!
CUT TO
Music... Loud... "BREED" by NIRVANA...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 4.
CONTINUED: (3)
CUT TO
TITLE
44' CHEST in Caucasian-flesh-coloured writing on black... We
see chest hairs in the lettering...
CUT TO
1 INT LIVING ROOM DETACHED SUBURBAN VILLA NIGHT 1 *
MUSIC... `WITHOUT YOU' by NILSSON...
We are out of focus on purple... white... scattered sparkling
"jewels"? begin to come into focus and we see that they are
in fact pieces of broken glass... Thousands of splinters and
shards strewn across a purple Wilton carpet... the white fur
of a luxurious sheepskin rug in bits... Ripped to shreds... In
extreme C/U we begin to move along the floor slowly taking in
mor e de bri s of d est ru ct io n... Sm as he d c ha ir s... Sm as he d
photographs... Broken records... Ripped, shredded record
sleeves -- `THE POWER OF LOVE' by JENNIFER RUSH -- `HOPELESSLY
DEVOTED TO YOU' by OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN -- `I WILL ALWAYS LOVE
YOU' by WHITNEY HOUSTON etc.
The TV remote smashed to smithereens... The television --
widescreen -- TOTALLED!... We move along the plush `World of
Leather' leather sofa... See that a chunk has been bitten out
of it... See teeth marks -- like a bite out of cheese!... Moving
on past an area of slashed carpet and underfelt... Approaching
the legs of a si deboard and see ing into the bla ckness
underneath... We can just make out the quizzical, frightened
eyes of a white poodle... We move on... Past twisted, wrecked
lampshades... Broken plates, ornaments... An up-ended vase of
half-eaten flowers... NILSSON continues his self-pitying
overwrought ballad and as he hits the massive, masochistic
chorus/crescendo we come across COLIN lying rigid on his back
in the corner of the devastated room... His shocked eyes
staring wildly... His body petrified. Paralysed... As if frozen
at the height of an epileptic fit -- Like something from
Pompeii -- Like Max Schrek as Nosferatu hit by light... We stay
on COLIN... His uncomprehending terror-filled eyes... His sheer
rigor mortis-like horror... We move in on him... Into the black
of his eyes... The tragic, agonised black..
CROSS FADE TO
5.
2 EXT DETACHED SUBURBAN VILLA NIGHT 2 *
We are outside, square on to an upstairs window of a detached
suburban villa... We hear muffled sounds from inside the house...
Yells... Screaming... Cries... Commotion... And suddenly the glass
window explodes towards us as a desperate terrified woman
comes crashing through... Having run full pelt to escape from
something... This is LIZ, aged 44...
CUT TO
3 INT LIVING ROOM SMALL TERRACED HOUSE NIGHT 3
Television on... ARCHIE'S MUM aged 80 is eating soup from a
tray on her lap... ARCHIE, aproned, watches on fondly...
ARCHIE
...'Ow's that, Mum?
MUM
`S gorgeous, Archie!
ARCHIE
Put hairs on your chest, that will!...
Pananarama'll be on soon -- after the
new s... Da vi d Dim bl e- bim bl eb y! Your
favourite!
MUM
(Pleased... eating)
What is this?
ARCHIE
That -- Mulligatawny! King of soups!
MUM
`S nice!
Now a phone rings elsewhere in the house...
ARCHIE
Whoops -- there's me mobilius! `Scuse I!...
He leaves the room... Goes into the darkened pokey hallway...
Takes his mobile phone from his car-coat pocket... Answers...
ARCHIE (CONT'D)
...Who is this?... I'm not understandin'
ya!... I'm not getting' ya!... `Ooever you
are, stop cryin'!... Stop it! Listen -- I
wanna help you... but I can't help you if I
don't know who you are... and what you're
on ab out ! W hat a re yo u on ab ou t? ...
(listens)... Yeah, Archie, that's me... slow
down... we'll get there much quicker if you
-- ( re al is es ) -- Col?
(MORE)
6.
3 CONTINUED: 3
ARCHIE (CONT'D)
Colin ?!... Wha's happened?... (alarmed)
Whaaat?!... No?!... When?!...
CUT TO
4 INT LIVING ROOM DETACHED SUBURBAN VILLA NIGHT 4
Music `WITHOUT YOU' by NILSSON...
COLIN, as before, lying in the wrecked room... The music ends...
Suddenly we hear ARCHIE'S voice ...
ARCHIE'S VOICE
(Gently)
... Col... Col... C'mon mate this is no good...
Colin...
We now see ARCHIE sitting in a nearby armchair, smoking,
patient...
ARCHIE
... C'mon mate, you can't lie `ere forever!
The rigid COLIN, ignoring him, has suddenly, belatedly,
realised that the music has stopped... Desperately needing his
friend, NILSSON -- like a man in excruciating pain reaching
for a gallon of morphine, he frantically, urgently twists his
body on the floor and reaching behind, hammers the play
button on the nearby ghetto blaster... And slowly, gently,
kindly, the piano intro of NILSSON'S gorgeous wallow re-
commences... Colin, somewhat soothed, eases back into his
former rigid, mortified position.
CUT TO
5 INT LUXURIOUS THAMESIDE PENTHOUSE NIGHT 5 *
MEREDITH, sits on a sofa staring intently at another man on *
an opposite sofa. A phone begins to ring. *
CUT TO
6 INT HUGE TASTEFULLY DECORATED LIVING SPACE PENTHOUSE NIGHT 6
The phone continues to ring... *
MEREDITH
`Allo?... (amiable) `Allo, Arch!...
CUT TO
7 INT VAN DAY 7
We are on MAL in the back of the scruffy van seated on the
wheelbase... Opposite him is MEREDITH calmly smoking ... ARCHIE
drives... COLIN slumped beside him in the passenger seat...
7.
7 CONTINUED: 7
ARCHIE
(concerned)
You alright, Col?
But COLIN is sobbing... quietly sobbing... sobbing his heart
out... ARCHIE looks in the rear view mirror at MAL... Who in
turn looks to MEREDITH who calmly smokes raising an eyebrow...
Now the van swings into a cul-de-sac, headlights illuminating
a row of tatty garages and picking out OLD MAN PEANUT who
stands there stony-faced... MAL opens the rear door... OLD MAN
PEANUT clambers in... ARCHIE throws the van into reverse and
takes off again....
CUT TO
8 EXT/INT VAN HIGH STREET DAY 8
The van double-parked engine running ... COLIN still slumped
in his seat staring teary-eyed at the dash-board... MEREDITH
and OLD MAN PEANUT in the back focused on the exterior of an
Italian restaurant...
CUT TO
9 INT FRENCH RESTAURANT DAY 9 *
Busy, bustling atmosphere... Customers becoming aware of a
co mm o ti on at t h e ba c k of th e r es t au ra n t... N o w th e ir
consternation grows as MAL who has got hold of one of the
waiters (we cannot see his face as his red shirt has ridden
up over his head in the struggle) is violently, relentlessly,
frog-marching him at great pace towards the door... We are
with ARCHIE overseeing the 'operation'... Staff terrified...
Customers alarmed... ARCHIE wheels round wielding an outsize
pepper grinder like a club... Crash/zoom in on him...
ARCHIE
(Menacingly)
Just get on with yer meals! Concentrate
on your snails! *
He too backs out of the door...
CUT BACK TO...
10 EXT/INT VAN HIGH STREET DAY 10
MEREDITH and OLD MAN PEANUT watching as MAL, THE WAITER and
ARCHIE spill onto the street... ARCHIE discarding the giant
pepper grinder as he goes... THE HAPLESS WAITER is bundled
into the back of the van... ARCHIE gets in... It drives
off...
CUT TO
8.
11 EXT STREET OUTSIDE CORNER SHOP SUNNY DAY 11
ARCHIE, holding a carrier bag of shopping, is in conversation
with another man, BIGGY WALPOLE, aged 58, wears tweed sports
jacket, cavalry twills, brown suede brogues, handlebar moust-
ache, Daily Mail under his arm, his dog ROSEMARY, a wire-
haired terrier, by his side...
BIGGY
...That's a bad show.
ARCHIE
'S a fuckin' bad show... He couldn't do
nothin'... like a wet lettuce! (they both
shake their heads)
BIGGY
Liz, eh? - Who'da thought it?!... Poor
Colin! (PAU SE) S o you 're b ack t here
tonight then?
ARCHIE
(Wearily)
Yup, back again... Round two... Poor
bastard... anyway... Anyway...
BIGGY
Cuckoldry - Cuckoldry - terrible word! -
Terrible Thing!... Is he up to it d'you
think? Will he do it?
ARCHIE
(Protective)
Oh, he'll do it! He'll do it! He'll kill
'im! 'S gotta in'he?! Just needs a bit of
time that's all - get over the shock...
Oh, he'll do it - no question!
BIGGY
Well g ive h im my rega rds.. . Sen d my
condolences.
ARCHIE
I will - I will, Bigg - I'll pass them
on.
BIGGY
(Almost to himself. Suddenly
sinister)
... Meredith, eh?... Meredith.
ARCHIE
... And Mal ... and Peanut ... and me...
BIGGY
... Meredith.
9.
11 CONTINUED: 11
ARCHIE
(Changing the subject)
'Ow's Rosemary?
BIGGY
... I dunno... ask her!
ARCHIE
(Looking down at the dog)
Allo, Rosemary... 'Ow's you?
We are on ROSEMARY'S expectant face looking up at ARCHIE ...
Over this we hear...
BIGGY'S DOGGIE VOICE
(Gruff)
I'm alright, 'spose -- thanks for askin'.
ARCHIE
(To Rosemary)
'S he lookin' after you? Keepin' you in
sausages?
We are on ROSEMARY...
BIGGY'S DOGGIE VOICE
What this cunt?!! Jokin' intchya?! - If
he opens another tin of Chum, I'm gonna
bite his bollocks off!
ARCHIE smiles. Looks back to BIGGY...
BIGGY
(Tuts)
Charmin'!
ARCHIE
(Beginning to move off)
...Well I'll catch ya later, Biggy ...
Bye Rosemary!
BIGGY
(Beginning to walk off in the
other direction)
Toodle pip!
ARCHIE is walking away... BIGGY and ROSEMARY in the other
direction... Suddenly BIGGY stop's... turns... stares darkly
at the departing figure of ARCHIE who ambles off unaware...
BIGGY is staring with such hatred... we move in on his
face... His hating face... we are close up... he stares just
off camera... seems he is growling... low... primal growls...
and now his hand, claw-like, comes into frame... he is
reaching towards us... threatening-ly ... and slowly his
hating eyes follow... and he is staring right at us...
CUT TO.
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 10.
12 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 12
The room is as described in the prologue albeit with gable
wall intact... MAL stands by the crumbling mantelpiece his
back to the room... Touches the back of his head as if
something has brushed against him... Over this we hear...
ARCHIE'S VOICE
...Bells, aintcha?
MAL glances over his shoulder... ARCHIE is crouching over and
sorting through a card-board box containing various bottles
of spirits...
MAL
Yeah, that's me... or Teachers!... This
is beginnin' to piss me off, this is!
ARCHIE
And me!... 'Ere y'are!
MAL is handed a bottle of Bells whiskey - he slumps in one of
the armchairs... Opens the bottle...
MAL
...I mean, I'm sorry for the cunt an' all
that but there's no point in draggin' it
out, is there?... We're goin' round in
circles!... Fair do's, the guy's hurtin'
but fuck me!
ARCHIE
I know, I know... it's mental!
MAL
Shit 'appens... deal with it!
ARCHIE
'Ow's your hand?
MAL
(Flexing his fist)
'S throbbin' like fuck!...' Ad it in a
bowl of iced water when I got back ...
It's my own fuckin' fault!
ARCHIE
That'll teach ya! (PAUSE)... He was on
the phone to me last night...'our and a
'alf!... Woke me up!..."Cunt" this and
"cunt" that ... r eckon ed he coul dn't
sle ep .. pi ss ed ou t of hi s hea d! .. .
Talkin' a load of cobblers!... Doesn't
know where he is!
MAL
I been there!
11.
12 CONTINUED: 12
ARCHIE
Not like this!... Not like `im!... Not
like Colin!... Not like Colin Diamond!
CUT TO
13 EXT DARK RAIN SOAKED DESERTED OLD STS & ALLEYS NIGHT 13
Back view of a rain-coated man slowly walking the bleak
ancient streets.... We follow him... Over this we hear...
ARCHIE'S VOICE
...Believe me, you shoulda heard `im...
fuckin'ell... On and on!... Tellin' me
'is fuckin' dreams! - Get this - He's in
a phone box - only it's not a phone box --
it's her cunt!
The man turns a corner and we see his face... Sad, sorry, lost,
self -pit yin g, b een thr oug h th e m ill. .. This is COL IN
DIAMOND...
CUT BACK TO
14 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 14
ARCHIE and MAL as before...
MAL
Her what?
ARCHIE
Yeah!... With teeth!... No, pardon me,
so r ry , l e t' s g e t t hi s r i gh t - no t
teeth... Dentures!
MAL
Dentures!
ARCHIE
Dentures!... Her cunt's got dentures!
MAL
Jesus Christ!
ARCHIE
Oh, yeah!...
CUT BACK TO
15 EXT DARK RAIN SOAKED DESERTED OLD STS & ALLEYS NIGHT 15
The lonely figure of COLIN walks...
ARCHIE'S VOICE
... Snappin'... Clackin' at 'im... On
'im...
(MORE)
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 12.
15 CONTINUED: 15
ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)
Nibblin' his arse... Bitin' his balls... I
was tryin' not to laugh... I'm knackered
-- It's 'alf three in the fuckin' mornin'
hearin' this shit!
MAL'S VOICE
Fuckin' `ell!
COLIN walks under an old iron bridge...
ARCHIE'S VOICE
That's right!... It goes on... A door
opens... In walks a cock -- Yeah, you
heard, a cock!... In walks a cock!...
Massive... Not his - guess who's?...
That's right!... Fuck's sake!... Then
he's on a plane... Club class... 'avin'
is dinner... dressed as a clown!...
COLIN stops... Lost in thought... Staring down at/into
puddles...
ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)
...Big red nose!... Like Ronald fuckin'
McDonald!... Waitress comes up the aisle,
starts punchin' im in the head!!
Big C/U on COLIN'S little boy lost face...
ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)
...You make sense of it... It's fuckin'
tragic!
CUT BACK TO
16 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 16
ARCHIE and MAL as before...
MAL
He needs pullin' back... He's on the
slippery slope... We better watch'im ...
(slight pause)... Dressed as a clown?!
ARCHIE
Fuckin' Coco, mate!
Immediately the door opens and COLIN enters... Atmosphere. He
take s of f h is M ac. .. A nd sits in one of the ba tter ed
armchairs...
ARCHIE and MAL look at each other...
ARCHIE (CONT'D)
...Alright, Col?
COLIN grunts... ARCHIE resumes sorting through the cardboard
box... MAL lights up... smokes...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 13.
16 CONTINUED: 16
ARCHIE (CONT'D)
(Holding up a near empty bottle
of Smirnoff)
...He is vodka, Old Man Peanut, I'n'e?
MAL
Yeah, he's vodka
ARCHIE
(Showing Mal the bottle)
Cor, he's taken a sizeable lump outa this
look...
COLIN
(Surly)
You can look at me, you know... I'm not
invisible!
MAL
(Jokingly looking around the
room)
Who said that?
The three men smile ... MAL and ARCHIE look at COLIN...
ARCHIE
(Kindly)
You alright, son?
COLIN
(None too convincingly)
I'm bearing up, Arch, I'm bearing up.
MAL
It's never easy, mate, its never easy.
Silence...
COLIN
Give us a fuckin' drink!
ARCHIE tosses him a bottle.
ARCHIE
'Ere y'are, brandy... Doctor's orders!
COLIN opens it and drinks... ARCHIE and MAL watch him
intently...
COLIN
(Paranoid)
What are you starin' at?... 'Ave I got a
knob on my forehead or somethin'?!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 14.
16 CONTINUED: (2) 16
MAL
Shut up, Colin! You're amongst friends...
Don't make this any more difficult than
it already is... Y'hear me?... Y'hear
me?... Colin?... Look at me...
COLIN
(Grudgingly)
...I hear you.
ARCHIE
C'mon, mate, be brave.
COLIN
... Yeah... I will... I've got to ain'i?
ARCHIE
That's the stuff!
MAL
That's the spirit!
COLIN
I can' t bel ieve it... I st ill c an't
bel ie ve it .. . I j us t c an 't fu ck in '
believe it...
MAL
Yeah, I know, it's unbelievable... It's
like a bad dream, innit?
ARCHIE and MAL look at each other... knowingly...
ARCHIE
Where's Old Man fuckin' Peanut?
Suddenly the doo r flies open an d there stands O LD MAN
PEANUT...
OMP
I'm fuckin' here!... That's where he
is!... Cunt!
MAL
Sorry, Pop... We wondered where you was.
OMP
Don't Pop me!... I'm fuckin'.ere!...
Give's a fuckin' drink... Bunch o' cunts!
OLD MAN PEANUT sits... ARCHIE takes him the bottle of vodka
and a plastic cup... stands over him...
ARCHIE
D'you want me to pour it for you?
15.
16 CONTINUED: (3) 16
OMP
(Snatching the bottle and cup)
Give it 'ere!... Treat me like a fuckin'
cunt!... Tosser!
ARCHIE shrugs...
OMP (CONT'D)
(indicating Colin)
...'Ow is he, alright?
MAL
Yeah, he's doin' good... Aintcha, Colin?
COLIN
(Weakly)
Yeah, I'm good.
...OLD MAN PEANUT gets up ... goes over to him... stares him
in the eyes...
OMP
You get it together, you cunt!... You
hear me?... Eh?... (slaps COLIN)... Get
it to-fucking-gether!... We can't 'ave
this.. . Can 't' a ve it !...Y ou we re a
fuckin' disgrace last night! Inept!...
Tonight the kid gloves are off... Show
some fuckin' backbone! - You're a man...
Fucking act like one!
ARCHIE
He'll get there... He'll get there.
OMP
(Vociferously)
...And the bloodied slave rose to 'is
feet, thrust his hand into 'is defiant
chest, tore out `is own heart and threw
it at the aggressor, sayin' "Free from
bondage!... Free from fuckin' bondage'
you CUNT!!"... Eh?... Eh?...
MAL
(Offhand)
Yeah, you're right, Pop.
OMP
Eh! .. . F uc ki n' ri gh t I 'm r igh t! .. .
Fuckin' right I'm fuckin' right!... It's
th e s t ro n g t ha t s h al l i n he r it th e
earth... Not the fuckin' weak!...
ARCHIE
(Flat ... Patent)
You tell 'em!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 16.
16 CONTINUED: (4) 16
OMP
Not the fuckin' weak!
MAL
Yeah, well, whatever ... But this's gotta
be finished tonight cos I'm busy tomorrow
OMP
(Riled)
You break every other fuckin engagement
... Every other fuckin' engagement! ...
This! ... This takes top priority! ...
Above everything ... Everything!...'Til
this is done and dusted ... Put to bed...
Lai d to re st .. No bo dy do es fu ck in '
nothin' but this! ... This - This is
where we are... 'Ere! ... Now! ... This..
Where's fuckin' Meredith?
ARCHIE
He's late.
OMP
Late? Late!.. No such fuckin' word!...
And I'll tell you this ... If Brighton
Billy - God rest his tortured soul - had
ever caught anyone being late ... He
would've cut their eyelids off, stuck 'em
in a f uc k in ' s a ck wi t h a s n ak e , a
cockerel and a dog and chucked 'em in the
fuckin' sea!
MAL
Charmin!
OMP
(Vehement)
It was! It fuckin' was!... That was how
it was! ... Believe you me - Once he'd
made up his mind, that was it!... That
was it !... Nothi n wou ld sw ay 'i m...
Nothin!.. No surrender!... Immovable he
was!... Immovable! A mountain!... A
fu c ki n ' C ol o ss u s! . .. Yo u h e ar me ,
Colin?... A fuckin' giant!... A Titan!...
Spectacular!... My God!!
COLIN
(Miles away)
I can't believe it ... I still can't
believe it...
OMP
(T h r o w in g h i s h a n d s u p i n
despair)
OOWW!!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 17.
16 CONTINUED: (5) 16
Suddenly the wardrobe wobbles... Creaks... They all turn to
look at it... Faint sounds of struggle from within... It
stops... Is still... Silence eventually...
ARCHIE
(Peer ing i nto t he c ardbo ard
box... Nonplussed)
Who wants crisps?
CUT TO
17 EXT GRASS VERGE BY ELEVATED MOTORWAY RAIN NIGHT 17
Sounds o f traffi c... LIZ is try ing to s cramble up the
embankment ... Trying... Failing ... She is cold, wet, muddy,
bloody ... No shoes ... Her white dress torn and blood-soaked
... She tries to climb ... In vain ... Slips in the mud ...
No strength ... Cries in frustration... Falls on her back...
Lies there...still ... Curls up... Above her the traffic
zooms by.
CUT TO
18 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 18
Now t he do or o pe ns. .. M ER EDI TH s ta nds f ra me d b y th e
doorway... Immaculately dressed... A wry smile... He raises
his arm in a Romanesque salute...
MEREDITH
Salutee!
OMP
(Mouthful of crisps)
You're late!
MEREDITH
So sue me!... *
He sits... Looks around the room.
MEREDITH (CONT'D)
...Cor, fuck me - Deja Vu!... *
(studies OLD MAN PEANUT) *
... You enjoying those?
OMP
(Munching)
Fuck off!
MEREDITH smiles...
MEREDITH
...So, Kittens, what's happenin?
MAL
More of the same.
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 18.
18 CONTINUED: 18
MEREDITH
How are you today, Colin? ... You look
terrible!
OMP
He's good ... He's fuckin' strong.
MEREDITH
Oh, that's good... That is good... He
don't look it!
MAL
No, he's alright... He's alright.
ARCHIE
Better than 'e was last night!!
JUMP CUT TO
18A EXT DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 18A *
19 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 19
COLIN slumped in an armchair... See the men...
ARCHIE
'Ere Meredith, I bumped into Biggy
Walpole this mornin'. He was askin'
after you...
MEREDITH
Was he?... That's funny... He hates me!
ARCHIE
Does he? ... Didn't seem like it...
OMP
(Sneeringly to Meredith)
'S he an iron an' all?
MEREDITH
(Staring at OMP)
... Not sure... Is he, Arch?
ARCHIE
Oo, Biggy?... Don't think so...
MEREDITH
(Staring at OMP)
Arch doesn't think so, Pea...
OLD MAN PEANUT snorts derisively ... MEREDITH turns to ARCHIE
MEREDITH (CONT) (CONT'D)
... What was he wearin'?
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 19.
19 CONTINUED: 19
ARCHIE
... Dunno... Jacket?
Suddenly ... From his armchair...
COLIN
I get waves...
MEREDITH
Jacket?
COLIN
...Up and down...
ARCHIE
Tweedy...
COLIN
...state of me...
MEREDITH
Tweedy, eh?
COLIN
All I ever did was love 'er ...
Now the men all look to COLIN ... pause...
COLIN (CONT'D) *
... Maybe I loved 'er too much ... *
Maybe that's it ... *
CUT TO
20 EXT DRIVEWAY DETACHED SUBURBAN VILLA PREVIOUS DUSK 20
COLIN is opening the back doors of a grey mercedes... Merrily *
takes out a massive bouquet... a big box of chocolates ... *
Laden and happy he awkwardly approaches his front door ...
Enters...
CUT TO
21 INT HALLWAY DETACHED SUBURBAN VILLA PREVIOUS EVE 21
COLIN
(Calling out)
He's 'ome!!
A Poodle greets him enthusiastically.
COLIN (CONT) (CONT'D)
Yeah, alright Muffles, got somethin' for
you an' all - choc-choc! ... Liz! ...
It's me!... I'm `ome!!!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 20.
21 CONTINUED: 21
He enters the kitchen...his wife LIZ, is standing in a white
dress at the far end ... Looking away ... Gazing out of the
window...
COLIN (CONT) (CONT'D)
(Cheerily)
'Ere he is! ...
She does not react ... He places things on the table.
COLIN (CONT) (CONT'D)
... He comes bearing gifts, look! Look
what I gotcha!
He goes to the fridge...
COLIN (CONT) (CONT'D)
Avril's been at it again! Fuckin' up big
style! ... She's useless almost cost us a
sale on an XKR Jag! *
He takes out a pint carton of full fat milk
COLIN (CONT) (CONT'D)
... Fuckin' 'ell, Saab last week and now
a Jag! - She didn't... but she almost
did! I gave her a verbal warnin'. Told
her if she didn't buck her ideas up she'd
be out of the showroom - stick her desk'
in the backyard beside the khazi!. -
Stupid cow! - And you know what she said?
- This is what I have to put up with! "Do
it then"! Can you believe that?!! - - 'F
she wants sendin' back to the job centre
I'll do it! *
He knocks back the full pint in one ... LIZ glances at him
... He reaches into the fridge again and takes out a can of
coke...
COLIN (CONT) (CONT'D)
... Anyway, that's me! 'Ow's you?... Oh,
an another thing 'fore I forget, ow d'you
fancy the Algarve? 'Cos that bird from
the travel agent ...... phoned me... I know
we were... talkin' bout the Med but this is *
dirt cheap - I said I'd speak to you... *
He begins glugging the coke ... Finishes it...
COLIN (CONT) (CONT'D)
What d'ya reckon?
LIZ is silent...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 21.
21 CONTINUED: (2) 21
COLIN (CONT'D)
(Fondly... Indulgent)
... Alright, it's the Med, I give in!!
He o pens a cupb oar d. T ake s ou t a pac ket of cho cola te
biscuits. Unwraps one..., eats it...
LIZ looks at him ... Looks away ... Stares out of the window
... Worried... Puts her hand to her forehead ... She is
biting her lower lip...
COLIN (CONT'D)
(Munching)
... What?
LIZ
(To herself. Desperately)
Oh, fuck...
COLIN
What is it ?... 'S a matt er?.. .'S
up?...S'appened?
She look s a t hi m . .. T ear s in he r ey es. .. E ven tual ly
struggling...
LIZ
... Colin ...
Words fail her. She sighs heavily
COLIN
Liz, love ... what's wrong?
Eventually...
LIZ
(Weakly)
... This is really, really difficult,
Colin...
COLIN
(Worded)
What is?
LIZ
(With great difficulty)
... This is the hardest thing I've ever
done in my life ... I'm so sorry...
COLIN
(Gently. Helping)
For what? What you sorry for?... What you
sorry for, Liz?
LIZ
I'm sorry, Colin...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 22.
21 CONTINUED: (3) 21
COLIN
(Serious faced)
So you've said ... You've said that,
Liz... I've got that ... What `re you
sorry for?
She can't look at him. Stares at the floor ... Eventually ...
COLIN (CONT) (CONT'D)
You're scarin me Liz...
A LONG PAUSE...
LIZ
(Tinily)
I've met someone else...
22 A LONG PAUSE... 22
COLIN
(Stunned. Absolutely Stunned)
Wha?
23 A LONG PAUSE... 23
COLIN
(Small)
y`kiddin'
LIZ
(Sadly)
... I'm sorry.
COLIN
(Reeling)
...'Someone else'??!!. I don't
understand, Liz ... I've just
come in through the door ...
and ... now I'm ... I'm ...
(TRAILS OFF)...'met someone
else'?
She can't look at what she's done to him ... She gazes out *
of the window ... Far, far away ... *
LIZ
(From a million miles away)
... I'm so sorry.
Slowly ... Slowly ... We move in on COLIN ... He begins to
blink ... Is swallowing ... His chin wobbling ... Can't
speak... Uncomprehending little eyes... His gullet begins to
spasm ... He swoons ... Stumbles back ... His knees go ... He
grips the toaster for support ... Looking at her as she
stares out of the window ... Looking ... Looking ... His
desperate eyes pleading ... *
CUT TO
23.
24 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 24
The men are watching him... *
COLIN
I know what you're all thinkin'... you're *
all feelin' sorry for me - Poor Colin...
Think I'm pathetic... Come on, say it ... *
I can take it... Well you can all fuck *
off - Sling yer dirty hooks! ... I'll *
deal with this myself ... Well, what are
you waiting for? - Piss off - Sorry to
have inconvenienced you an' all that ...
but your services are no longer required - *
Slags! - Laughin' at me! I may look like *
a cunt but I'm not stupid!
ARCHIE
No it's 'er that's stupid, Col ... It's
Liz...
COLIN
(Rounding on him)
What would you know about'er! - What
would you know 'bout what it means to be
married?! You're still livin' with your
fuckin' Mum! *
MAL
(Stepping in)
Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!
OMP
(Rises. Enraged)
Th is is wh y Lo ve r bo y mus t b e
killed !...Th is is why s he mus t be
ki l le d ! . .. To d o t ha t t o a ma n
(indic ates C OLIN). ..Jes us fuc king
Christ almighty! ... Fire and fucking
sword! ... It's unforgiveable!... It's
de-fucking-plorable! ... (points at
COLIN with a long bony finger) Look at
the man ... where is he? ... Look at
'im! He aint there! ... That's someone
else! ... That's a shell! If that!...
A sad, empty shell! ... It hurts your
fucking eyes! ... Can 'ardly look at
'im!... Make ya weep! ~_ Mother of
God! They will suffer... Oh, yeah! -
The y wil l su ffe r! . .. Th at is m y
promise!... They will fucking suffer!
The seething PEANUT paces the room...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 24.
24 CONTINUED: 24
COLIN
I'm sorry, Arch ... I don't know what I'm
sayin'... I've gone crackers ... don't
listen to me...
ARCHIE
'S alright, mate ... forget about it- 's
understandable.
MEREDITH
'Ere, Colin, this'll cheer you up...Ave a
guess `ow much I won last night...
OMP
(Still ranting)
Oh yes, they will suffer!
MEREDITH
'Ave a guess...
COLIN
(Distractedly)
I don't know.
MEREDITH
Ask me how much I won...
OMP
... Fucking suffer!
MEREDITH
Ask me!
COLIN
(Half-heartedly)
...'Ow much did you win?
MEREDITH
... Well...
CUT TO.
25 EXT NASH CRESCENT LONDON PREVIOUS NIGHT 25
MEREDITH, alone, strolls along the lamplit street ... Over
this we hear...
MEREDITH'S VO
... after we left here last night I was
buzzi n'... was on m y wa y to the
Buckingham for a quick one ... none of
you wet willies wanted to come ... who'd
I run into? ...
MEREDITH walking ... Suddenly, from out of nowhere a metallic
blue Rolls Royce Corniche thunders and screeches up beside
him almo st m oun ting the pa veme nt . ..
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 25.
25 CONTINUED: 25
Simu ltan eous ly t he curb side back doo r fli es o pen and
crashes/smashes into a lamp-post shattering its window and
buckling... MEREDITH turns at the sound of the impact... And
is immediately greeted by a figure emerging from the back
seat ... The man is larger than life ... 60-ish... He wears a
full length white mink coat over a tuxedo ... His coiffured
hair sports a pink rinse ... He is over-excitedly pleased to
se e h i s f r i e n d , M E R E D I T H . . . T e r r i f y i n g l y s o . . .
Psychopa thically happy h e stand s in the middle of the
pavement like a frenzied polar bear...
MEREDITH VO
... Tippi Gordon!
TIPPI GORDON bellows insanely at MEREDITH...
TIPPI
CHUBBYBUMMYWUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CUT TO
26 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 26
The men listen to MEREDITH'S story...
MEREDITH
...Off his fuckin'face! Pumpin'! Zoomin'!
Pupils the size of a sixpence!...
CUT BACK TO
27 EXT NASH CRESCENT LONDON PREVIOUS NIGHT 27
TITANIC C/U ON TIPPI'S maniacally ecstatic face...
TIPPI
(To us/Meredith)
Y'UP FOR IT??? Y'WITH ME??? NIGHT OF
IT???? `AVE SOME???? BEAUTY BOY??? --
Y'UP FOR IT?????? -- BOYS NIGHT
OUT??????????????!!!!!!!!!!
JUMP CUT TO
28 INT ROLLS ROYCE CORNICHE CHAUFFEUR DRIVEN PREV NGT 28
MEREDITH and TIPPI in the back of the Roller as it travels
through London ... TIPPI chopping out huge lines of cocaine
on a walnut veneer tabletop...
MEREDITH VO
... He was on his way to the Grenadier
... Invites me along...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 26.
28 CONTINUED: 28
TIPPI
(Chopping them out)
I like a li ne th e siz e of a fuc kin'
toblerone!! ...
To the UNIFORMED CHAUFFEUR, indicating the coke
Oi, Bumface -'ere y'are!
JUMP CUT TO.
29 EXT BUSY WEST END STREET PREVIOUS NIGHT 29
The Rolls Royce has stopped at a red light ...THE CHAUFFEUR
casually gets out of the front and climbs into the back ...
The lights change to green ... Cars behind get impatient ...
Start tooting...more and more horns sound ... Blaring out...
CUT TO.
30 INT HIGH CLASS CASINO PREVIOUS NIGHT 30
We move through the elegant casino ... Over this we hear...
ARCHIE'S VOICE
Come on then, whad ya win?
MEREDITH'S VOICE
Forty thousand and six 'undred pounds is
what I won...
MAL'S VOICE
Fuck me!... 'Ow?
We now come across MEREDITH and TIPPI laughing, engaged in
conversation...
MEREDITH'S VOICE
... W ell , I' ll te ll ya . .. we w er e
fucking about...
MEREDITH turns from TIPPI and speaks directly to us into
camera...
MEREDITH
... And I bet Tippo five grand that he
couldn't win six grand in a minute...
TIPPI
(Excitedly to Meredith)
I fucking can!!
MEREDITH
(To Tippi)
Go on then!!
TIPPI heads for the nearest roulette table...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 27.
30 CONTINUED: 30
MEREDITH (CONT'D)
(To us)
... He's off... Steams into the nearest
table and smacks six thou down on the
black...
We can see TIPPI intently staring down at the wheel almost
crowding THE CRO UPIER wh o smile s polite ly at hi s high
spirits...
TIPPI
(Screaming over to Meredith)
RED!!!... CUNT!!!
MEREDITH
(To us)
We were laughin' like fuck!
TIPPI
(Calling over)
Double or quits!
MEREDITH
(To us)
... He bets black...
We can see TIPPI intently staring down at the wheel ...
hungry ... childish....excited...
TIPPI
(Screaming over to Meredith)
RED!!!...CUNT!!!...
MEREDITH
(Smiling to us)
Double or quits twice... bets black...
We see TIPPI staring intently down at the wheel... almost
wetting himself with anticipation.. until...
TIPPI
(Screaming over to Meredith)
RE D ! ! ! . . . C U N T ! ! ! . . . D O U B L E O R
QUITS!...
MEREDITH
(To us)
For the third time... only this time -
We are on TIPPI staring intently down at the wheel...
MEREDITH'S VOICE
... He bets red...
C/U on the roulette wheel-the ball spinning and hurtling
round ... we watch as it comes to rest...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 28.
30 CONTINUED: (2) 30
TIPPI'S VOICE
(Screaming)
BLACK!!!!!!
Massive C/U on TIPPI'S thrilled by losing face...
TIPPI
CUNT! CUNT! CUNT ! MER EDITH YOU' RE A
CUNT!!!
CUT BACK TO
31 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 31
MEREDITH
..."Meredith you're a cunt! Thank you
very much, 'ere's your forty thou... See
ya!"... For a giggle. I've stuck four
hundred pound on the pontoon table -
splatt! -- Blackjack! Six to four! Lovely!
That's me done!... 'Ad some dinner in the
corner - fillet steak, coupla spuds...
last d rink - lar ge ca lvado s... Home
met hi nks , "G et me a ca b" , ove r th e
bridge, bung `im a nifty -."Ta, guv",
wipe my feet, cup of cocoa, into me jim-
jams, lights out ... ain't life grand!
ARCHIE
Nice one!
OMP
What, you mean you didn't stop off at the
poof's club?
MEREDITH turns slowly to stare at him...
MEREDITH
No, Peanut, since you so kindly ask, I
did not stop off at The Clayton ... Not
las t nig ht .. . b ut I sh al l be th er e
tonight ... later on ... looking for some
hot male action... Is that alright with
you?
OMP
Yerr!
ARCHIE
Don't fucking start you two!
OMP
Dirty bastard!
MEREDITH laughs...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 29.
31 CONTINUED: 31
OMP (CONT'D)
Puttin g you r one in a man' s bum !...
Sodomite... Buggerer...
MEREDITH
Peanut ... What I choose to do with my
nine and a half has got fuck all to do
with you!
OMP
It's disgusting! - Man with man! *
ARCHIE
Alright, alright!
OMP
Fucking smarm!
ARCHIE
Alright!
CUT TO
32 INT KITCHEN DETACHED SUBURBAN VILLA PREVIOUS NIGHT 32
LIZ at the window ... COLIN at the table...
COLIN
... I've loved you too much, 'aven't I? --
That's what I've done wrong -I've driven
you away - driven you into the arms of
someone else - that's what I've done -
S'pose I deserve it - must do - who'd
'ave thought it, eh, you can love someone
too much!... I've over loved ya - I'm an
overlover... and I feel very lonely...
(begins to sob, catching his
breath like an infant)
... I'm beggin' you to stay - I beg you
not to leave me... I beg you... on my
bended knees... Please... I just don't
understand what I've done wrong - and I
beg you not to leave me this way - don't
leave me this way. *
LIZ
(Softly)
... Come on, Colin...
COLIN
...What?...
LIZ
(Gently)
... Have some dignity...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 30.
32 CONTINUED: 32
COLIN
(Chest heaving with sobs)
I - don't - want din-gity - I want you!!
... Is that bad? ! ... Is t hat a bad
crime? - Ov- ver - lovin'???
Pause... he fights his tears... struggles to get it together
... breathes ... breathes hard ... sucking in air ... trying
to gather strength ... from somewhere... calms a bit ...
stares hard at her ... eventually- .
COLIN (CONT'D)
... You've made a mistake, you 'ave ...
You're gonna miss me! - You're really *
gonna fuckin miss me! ... Coupla days
time - when it sinks in ... Oh, you'll
reg re t t ha t! Wh at a n e rr or ! W ha t a
booboo! ... You've fucked up! Boy, 'ave
you fucked up!... An' you know what? -
when you realise 'ow ... (selects a word)
silly you've been -- `ow impulsive ...
reckless and stupid - 'ow ... (selects a
word) feminine you've been - you stupid
woman ... you're gonna come runnin', back
with your tail between your legs pleadin'
to be let in out of the cold - and will I
take you back? - Will I fuck!! No way!!
Not a snowball's chance in hell! Not on
your nelly !!... 'Ang on Colin -' ang on
son - you're lying to yourself! - Course
you'll take her back! Of c ourse you
will!!... I'll take you back, Liz - I
fo r g i ve y o u - c o s t h a t ' s w h a t
overlovers', do, you see -they 'overlove'
- they love too much!
LIZ
(Delicately)
Colin, its not working between us - well
for me its not working - and it hasn't
been working for a long time...
COLIN
Yeah, that's because you ain't been doing
your bit, Liz ... you ain't been doing
your bit! ... Love is like a garden and
in order to keep it looking beautiful you
gotta work at it ... Gotta do the weedin'
and you ain't been doing any weedin', Liz
- and that's cos you're lazy - You're a
lazy lover, Liz - And now the garden's
over-run -'s a jungle, innit? - we're
lost in the jungle - can't see each other
-
31.
32 CONTINUED: (2) 32
LIZ
(Softly)
I don't feel like that, Colin - I don't *
feel the same as you - just have to get
out -
COLIN
(Petulant)
Well fuck off then!!... Go on, go!...
Fuck off!... I'll be alright ... You
cru el ba st ar d! .. . Go on - I' m no t
stopping you... Take your stuff and get -
Leave mine - I'll attend to that! Just
fuck off!... You're a horrible cunt!
Traitor! *
LIZ
(Had enough)
Well if you're going to start calling me
names -
COLIN
(Affronted. Interrupting)
Don't you - a dirty, unfaithful cow who's
sucked another man's bell-end -tell me -
tell me that I'm callin' you names!! Who
is he?
There is a pause as LIZ decides how to play this...
LIZ
... Does it matter?
COLIN
Oo is he? Tell me the cunt's name - I
wanna know.
LIZ
... He's just a guy.
COLIN
Oh, a guy is he? - A guy! - What he's not
a bloke? Not just a. bloke? He's a `guy'!
Cunt - I'll cut `is cock off when I find *
'im!
LIZ
(Forcefully)
Oh stop it, Colin!
COLIN
Oh, th at's right , pro tect the cunt!
Course you're on `is side... on the side
of the 'guy'! ... I'm tellin' you, Liz -
mark my fuckin' words - I will tear the
flesh off 'is face with my fuckin' teeth
and stick it in your fuckin' `andbag!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 32.
32 CONTINUED: (3) 32
LIZ
Right, that's it, I'm going ... we'll
talk later.
LIZ makes towards the door. But COLIN beats her to it ...
slams it shut...
COLIN
(Darkly)
Where d'you think you're goin' ?! You
ain't goin' nowhere!
LIZ, frightened, has stepped back.
COLIN (CONT) (CONT'D)
(Darkly)
... You think you can say that to me an'
then j ust g o?! - Leav e me here with
that?! - Drop a bomb in my brain and just
go?! ... No, you can't!...
We are C/U on COLIN'S hand by his side... it begins to
tighten ... begins to ball itself into a fist...
COLIN'S VOICE
(Menacingly)
Tell me his fuckin' name...
CUT TO
33 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 33
COLIN standing ... the men listening...
COLIN
(Confessionally)
I caught her right on the fuckin' chin...
Her head bounced off the door frame...
She fell lookin' at me...
OMP
Good boy!
COLIN
(Emphatically)
No, not good boy!... I hit her so fuckin'
hard... Heard her teeth rattle in her
hea d. .. Sh e was l yi ng th er e.. . Sh e
wouldn't look at me..."Tell me!"..."Tell
me!", I said... "Tell me 'is fuckin'
name!"... but she wouldn't look at me...
MAL
Well, she wouldn't, would she?!... She
couldn't, could she?!
33.
33 CONTINUED: 33
ARCHIE
Too ashamed!
COLIN
I 'ad her b y the thro at .. . pun ched
her..."Tell me!"...punched her... "Tell
me!" ... punched her "Tell me `is fuckin'
name!"...
(PAUSE)
... She said it ... She told me...
MAL
What? Just like that?!
OMP
Brazen! -- Fuckin 'audacity!
ARCHIE
Cheeky cunt!
MAL
Takin' the piss, mate!
COLIN
(Quietly)
... Yeah, just like that ... right in the
heart.
...OLD MAN PEANUT goes to him... puts his arm around him...
comforts him... ARCHIE, seeing this, goes over the wardrobe
... addresses it...
ARCHIE
(To the wardrobe)
... You hearin' this? ... What you've
done? ... What you're responsible for?
... Are you proud of yourself? ... Was it
worth it? ... All this pain?
MAL joins him... addresses the wardrobe...
MAL
(To the wardrobe)
Fucked his wife?! ... Fucked his
fuckin' wife?! ... You fuckin' wife-
fucker you!... You fuckin' fucked his *
wife you wife-fuckin' cunt!... *
(beat)
Fuckin' his wife?!... Fuckin' his fuckin' *
wife?!... Another man's wife?!... Are you *
fuc ki n' th ic k? - Yo u cunt !... Fu ck
another man's wife?... What's the matter
with you?! You don't do that!... It' not
done!... You do that - it ends in this! -
Th i s! - T hi s i s w h er e i t e n ds ! I n
this!... You hear me? ... you listenin'?
Shitter!... Little shitter!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 34.
33 CONTINUED: (2) 33
ARCHIE
(To the wardrobe)
Should've got your own fuckin' wife to
fuck!
CUT TO
34 INT WARDROBE NIGHT 34
Blackness ... tiny light leaking in from cracks/joints in
wood ... a shape ... breathing
MAL'S VOICE
(From outs ide.. . me nacin gly
quiet)
...You're in deep shit, mate ... You're
in the worst possible place a man can
find himself...
Pause ... breathing in the blackness...
CUT TO
35 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 35
MAL
(Turns to Colin)
When d'you wanna do this, Col? When are
we doin' it? Come on, is time innit?!...
Get i t fuc ki n' do ne .. . W hat d 'yo u
reckon? ... Come on, my blood's fuckin'
up! What are we sayin'? Yes? No? - what?
... Colin?- S up to you, mate - you're
the one in the cunt hat!
ARCHIE
(To Colin)
It's about time, mate...
OMP
(Rising)
Get the fucker out 'ere!
MAL
...Well!... Col?...
COLIN is staring at the wardrobe but suddenly he rises and
heads for the door...
COLIN
I gotta find her! (he exits)
The men thwarted, sit in silence ... MAL looks at PEANUT ...
PEANUT looks at ARCHIE ... MEREDITH looks at MAL ... PEANUT
looks at MEREDITH ... ARCHIE looks at MAL ... MEREDITH looks
at ARCHIE...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 35.
35 CONTINUED: 35
ARCHIE
....What?!... Well, don't look at me!
35A EXT DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 35A *
COLIN exits the house. *
35B INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 35B *
MEREDITH
What age is Liz, Arch?
MAL
She's forty-two
ARCHIE
Forty-four
MEREDITH
Fucking hell, she looks good for forty-
four!
OMP
'Ow would you know?!
MEREDITH
(Pointing)
Peanut - would you like me to spank your
bony arse?
OLD MAN PEANUT giggles... MEREDITH smiles...
MEREDITH (CONT'D)
... Y eah . .. g orgeo us w oman ...
glamorous... vivacious ... sparklin'...
ARCHIE
You're not wrong.
MEREDITH
Beautiful face.
ARCHIE
Lovely
MEREDITH
It's a shame
ARCHIE
That it is.
CUT TO
36 EXT RAINY, DESOLATE, STREETS NIGHT 36
COL IN i s r un ni ng ... r un ni ng. .. r un nin g- ... De spe ra te ...
running... Away from us... Towards us ... Past us...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 36.
36 CONTINUED: 36
Running until... Eventually... Having run himself into the
ground... He collapses against a brick wall in shadow...
Holds onto it ... Buries his head into it... Pitifully...
Like Judah Ben Hur when first seeing his mother and sister
emerge from the leper colony...
COLIN
(Agonised)
She could be anywhere!
CUT TO
37 EXT GRASS VERGE BESIDE ELEVATED MOTORWAY RAIN NIGHT 37
LIZ lying still in scrub at the foot of the embankment- her
eyes slowly open ... her POV....the cloudy night sky.
CUT TO
38 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 38
MEREDITH, ARCHIE, MAL & OLD MAN PEANUT chatting...
ARCHIE
(TO OMP)
Nah!... That was Tommy Yardley, y'cunt
... the stouter of the two! - He couldn't
drive!
MAL
Never stopped `im though, did it?!
OMP
Beard?
ARCHIE
That's 'im!
OMP
Poof?
ARCHIE
No!... Who you thinkin' of?
MAL
He's thinkin' of Faraday ... He's been
dead years!
MEREDITH
Faraday was alright! He was a gentle
giant...
MAL
He was only five foot four
MEREDITH
I fucked `im back in the seventies - I'm
tellin' you - he was a gentle giant!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 37.
38 CONTINUED: 38
MAL
Did ya? I never knew that.
OMP
Well we do now!
MEREDITH
Very shy man ... I liked him.
OMP
No ... it's not that cunt I'm thinkin'
of. It was that other cunt... the cunt
with the ears!... Pen and inked somethin'
terrible!...
MAL
That's Dougie Clark ... the human stink-
bomb!
ARCHIE
... Fuckin' hell!... I remember once at
this p arty. .. he 'd go t hol d of some
bird... gone upstairs with her... next
thing you know she come. crashin' out of
the bedroom, run downstairs in her bra
and knickers, screamin' blue murder that
he'd put 'is armpit in her face!... his
great, stinkin', hairy oxter right in her
mooey! She's like that - (pulls an about
to vomit face)!... And `im - 'Ol' Smelly'
-- `s at the top of the stairs with 'is
todger stickin' out of 'is trousers,
laughin' his head off!
OMP
I've got a bone to pick with that cunt!
MAL
(Laughing)
Yeah but you can't get near him though,
can you!
ARCHIE
Not without a gas mask!
MAL
Ai n ' t h e h e a r d o f a b a t h ? ! . . . A n
invention called a bath?.. 'Ere can you
imagine under his foreskin?
ARCHIE
Cor, fuck me ... I think I'm gonna throw
up!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 38.
38 CONTINUED: (2) 38
MAL
You would'nt want to go there for your
summer 'olidays, would'ya?! ... Imagine
that! Fuck me!
They all laugh ... The door opens ... COLIN comes in ...
speaking...
COLIN
(Uncomprehending)
It's not as though we didn't fuck... we
did!... Just last week!... Just last
Thu rs day !. .. Sh e wa nte d to !.. . Sh e
ins ti gat ed i t!. .. S he ca me !.. . Sh e
did!... In fact, I didn't!... But that
didn't matter... It wasn't about that...
it wa s a b ou t be in ' c lo se .. . ' bo ut
warmth... 'bout bein' a normal married
couple... why would she do this?... Flush
it all down the fuckin' toilet... why?
OMP
Jezebel!
COLIN
What a terrible waste!...What a waste of
time!. .. En ergy! ... Everyt hin' !. ..
What's it all mean?... Surely a marriage
is somethin'?!... I mean, what's it all
about? What is the fuckin' point! Twenny
one fuckin' years, good times and bad -
dow n th e fuc ki n' pl ug 'ol e! Up th e
fuckin' Swanee, eh?!!... W e ' ad *
somet hin' goin' !... Soli d!... A
life! ...We wer e a f amil y! - The
Diamonds!.. What're they gonna say?...
What am I gonna tell `em?... What does
one tell the children? - This's gonna
affect their studies!...
MAL
Where're they again?
COLIN
Well, Colin J's doin' computer somethin'
at Car diff ... a nd Sa manth a's doin'
drawin' in Hull ... fuckin' `ell! Oh,
fuckin' `ell! - My poor babies! - Your
Mum's a whore!!... I can't bear this... I
can' t br eath e!.. . Ca n't fuck in'
breathe!... I'm serious...
He begins to tug at this collar...
MAL
Colin, stop it!
39.
38 CONTINUED: (3) 38
COLIN
(Serious)
No, I can't ... I can't breathe ... I'm
not jokin'...
ARCHIE
You're just panickin'!
COLIN
(Gasping)
'Elp me!!
MAL
Stop it!
ARCHIE
You'll be alright ... calm down!
COLIN
(Panicking)
Someone!
ARCHIE *
Deep breaths, mate... *
MAL *
Is he alright? *
OMP
This is shameful! ... Get a grip you
cunt!
COLIN
My l u n g s - t o o t ig h t ! . . . H e a r t s
burstin'... Please! -- Mercy! - 'Ave pity!
(gurgles)
MAL *
Colin! *
MEREDITH
(Quiet. Firm. Measured)
... Colin...Colin ... Look at me... Look
at me ...
COLIN does. Pop-eyed.
MEREDITH (CONT'D)
(Quiet. Firm. Measured)
... That's, it ... That's it...
ARCHIE
Talk `im down Meredith...
COLIN, calming, stares at MEREDITH...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 40.
38 CONTINUED: (4) 38
MEREDITH
You're alright, mate ... you're alright
... That's it ... easy does it ... listen
to me ... you're alright ... Alright? -
You're alright ... Right - Now listen to
me ... You're a good man... Got that?
COLIN is staring at him. transfixed. like a snake in front of
a charmer.
MEREDITH (CONT'D)
... Never forget that ... Cling to that
... You've done nothin' wrong ... You
listenin'? ... You've been wronged ...
You're in the right!... Remember that!...
Right... now there's characters in the
world - characters like that handsome
young macho boy ...
Indicates the wardrobe. COLIN looks at it. darkens ...
MEREDITH calms him
MEREDITH (CONT'D)
...Easy! - Who will come along to test
you and cause you to doubt yourself ...
to hate yourself ... to turn your life
upside down ... and its times like this
you find out who you are ... You *
listenin' to me? You hear this?
COLIN dumbly nods
MEREDITH (CONT'D)
...Listen to me... you don't disgust
me... You're not pathetic... you're not
weak - you're normal! - you're human -
and human's hurt!... Alright?
ARCHIE
That's right!
COLIN
(Somewhat soothed)
'Ave you 'ad this, Meredith?
MEREDITH
...Me?... No... but I'm quite lucky...
because I'm different to you... I don't
share your emotions... I don't love like
you... like you do... Maybe I should...
but I don't!... I'm not a family man -
with me, sex is sex... no more... no
le s s . . . C o l d . H a rd . Dark... and
sweaty... Sudden. Excessive... When I've
shot my wad, I leave the room... I put my
coat on and I leave the room... No "thank
you's"...
(MORE)
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 41.
38 CONTINUED: (5) 38
MEREDITH (CONT'D)
no "I really enjoyed that" - I leave the
room!... And I don't go back!... I can
aff or d t o do th at .. . I 'v e got t ha t
luxury... I'm charismatic... People are
drawn to me . (PA USE) Now m aybe it's
cowardly but I choose to live without
turmoil... without entanglements... All
that bores me! - With me it's the five Fs
- find 'em, follow 'em, finger 'em, fuck
'em and forget 'em!... But you, Colin,
you possess different qualities... that's
what makes you you... You're more caring
stroke sharing... Your capacity to love
lea ve s y ou v uln er ab le - bu t t ha t' s
admirable!... You care... and you should
be proud of that!
COLIN
... Proud?
MEREDITH
Yes, proud, you should be proud.
COLIN
Why?
MEREDITH
'Cos that is what you should be!
OMP
Pr o u d ! Y o u fu c k i n ' p i l c ha r d ! !
Proud!...'Ave a bit of pride!
COLIN
(Ignoring OMP)
What would you do Meredith?
MEREDITH
'Bout what?
COLIN
Everythin' ... my situation...
MEREDITH
I'd prioritise...
Slowly MEREDITH turns to look at the wardrobe ... COLIN Does
likewise ... looks back to MEREDITH...
MEREDITH (CONT'D)
If it was me he'd be dead already!
COLIN
... But if you were me?
MEREDITH
Well, that's a big leap for me, Colin...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 42.
38 CONTINUED: (6) 38
COLIN
Please ... try...
MEREDITH
... I'd toss a coin ... Heads I'd skin
him alive ... find her ... do the same...
COLIN
... And tails?
MEREDITH stares hard at COLIN ...
MEREDITH
... Well, that's the hard part, Colin ...
COLIN shrinks back with the realisation of what is being
implied... Scared...
COLIN
(Aghast)
... Oh, I can't do that! ... I don't
think I could do that!... What let `im
go?!... How can I do that?'
MEREDITH
Well let's hope it's heads then!...
COLIN dumbfounded can only stand and watch as...
MEREDITH (CONT'D)
... Who's got a coin?
ARCHIE begins to fish in his pocket...
OMP
(To Meredith)
You're a nasty bastard, aintcha!
MEREDITH
Am I?
ARCHIE
I've got a 2p!
COLIN finds himself holding the coin... He swallows ...
Closes his eyes as if in prayer ... Opens them ... Is about
to toss the coin...
MEREDITH
Hold on, Col ... (TO MAL) A oner says its
heads!
MAL
Yeah, alright, yer on!
ARCHIE
I'll 'ave some of that!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 43.
38 CONTINUED: (7) 38
MEREDITH
Anybody else? ... No? ... Alright... Go
on, Col!
OMP
(To Meredith)
Nasty bastard!
COLIN, gulping, looks at each of them in turn ... Looks at
the coin ... Swallows again-tosses it ... The coin spins
upwards- into the air ... Humungous C/U of the coin spinning
... Music begins, CHILLS & FEVER by TOM JONES...
CROSS FADE TO.
Music continues. Huge C/U... S/M... The coin spinning...
The men watch the coin land on HEADS!
CROSS FADE TO.
The music continues...
39 CUT 39
40 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 40
THE MUSIC CONTINUES...
We fade in on ... MAL in motion ... Pacing like a lion ... *
Serious faced hard eyed ... Intent ... Focused on something
just off camera ... Studying it...
We see MEREDITH seated ... smokes ... Super sexy-slowly... *
Focused on something just off camera ... Studying it...
PEANUT standing... Staring... super- slow... Caught mid- *
expression... Mid horrible expression... Vicious denture
manoeuvres... Old man horrendousness ... Focused on something
just off camera ... Studying it...
And ARCHIE... dear old ARCHIE... Swigging from a bottle... *
And focused on something just off camera... Studying it...
... And COLIN... Poor COLIN... Seated... Staring down... Down
at the floor... The floorboards ... The music fades ...
Disappears... silence ... More silence...
And now we see the room...
The men as described and the object of their focus... Seated
on a small, wooden kitchen chair is a figure with a scruffy *
old Tesco carrier bag over it's head... The wardrobe is
open... The figure is cowed. Broken. Beaten.
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 44.
40 CONTINUED: 40
Scared ... The men are relaxed-all the time in the world ...
Eventually...
MAL
(Very quietly)
Squeeze 'er tits, didya?
He draws relaxedly on his cigarette...
ARCHIE
(M e a s u re d l y ma s h i n g o u t a
cigarette)
'Ow was that?
MAL
Do the trick, did it?... Get her going?
ARCHIE
Ha n d u p t he sk i rt ? . . . I ns i de th e
knickers? ... That's alright, innit?
MAL
Loverboy!
ARCHIE
Wanker
MAL
Get it out? ... Give it a rub?
ARCHIE
In the noddy? ... On the bed?
MAL
Spit `n' polish?
ARCHIE
I bet
MAL
Cop a feel?
MEREDITH
David Copperfield?
MAL
Nice 'n' wet was she?
ARCHIE
Do you like that?
MAL
You make me sick!
ARCHIE
I love you!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 45.
40 CONTINUED: (2) 40
OMP
Use a banana?!
ARCHIE
Blimey o'Reilly
OMP
You cunt!
MAL
Go on, what's your secret? ... Old Spice?
ARCHIE
Splash it all over!
MAL
Now you're talkin'! L'il bit kinky?
ARCHIE
Ha, ha, golden shower!
MEREDITH
The erotic world of Jacques Cousteau.
MAL
That's right!... Is that right? ... So,
what was it? ... Eyes meet across the
room?... Fireworks?... Crashin' waves?...
I think I love you?... Will you... marry
me ? . . . O h , d a r l i n' . . . F o r e v e r . . .
Bollocks!... Bum her did you?
ARCHIE
Cor, dear!
MAL
Karma Sutra? 69?
ARCHIE
99? ... Flake?
MAL
Lickety split?
OMP
Lick it! Lick it!
MAL
The ol' Vaseline?
ARCHIE
Nice `n' easy!
MAL
Playboy!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 46.
40 CONTINUED: (3) 40
OMP
Arsehole!
ARCHIE
Playmate!
MAL
Cunt!
ARCHIE
Fucker!
OMP
Knee-trembler!
MAL
Polaroids?
OMP
Bombay roll?
ARCHIE
That's handy!
OMP
Pearl necklace?
ARCHIE
That looks nice!
OMP
Terrible thing to do!
MEREDITH
Rock -'ard 'Udson
ARCHIE
Upstairs, downstairs? Round the back?
MEREDITH
Bullseye
MAL
You're a bit of a boy, aintcha?... Bit of
a fucking boy?
ARCHIE
Stud!
MAL
That's 20th Century Casanova, sitting
there, in a plastic bag!
ARCHIE
Certainly is!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 47.
40 CONTINUED: (4) 40
MAL
Right rascal!
ARCHIE
Oh, you didn't use a candle, did ya? ...
Don't tell me that!
MAL
He didn't, did he?
OMP
Fuckin' did!
MAL
'Uckin' `ell!
ARCHIE
Not love-eggs?...That's awful
MEREDITH
The man's a love machine!
MAL
(Angered)
She's a mother!!
He moves towards the seated figure...
MAL (CONT'D)
That's somebody's mother, you idiot!!...
She's got children!
OLD MAN PEANUT joins MAL by the figure...
OMP
She's a wife ... can't be off gobblin!
They are joined by ARCHIE...
ARCHIE
Got a grievin' 'usband!
He indicates COLIN who remains seated.
ARCHIE (CONT) (CONT'D)
... That's him! Colin!
MAL
You've ruined him!
OMP
He's a husk!... Nothing left of him!
MAL
He's shattered!... You've shat on him...
You shit!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 48.
40 CONTINUED: (5) 40
OMP
That's his missus ... That was his missus
you diddled ... That was Liz! That was
hi s L i z ! . . . T h a t w a s h i s L i z y o u
fucked!... That's Mrs. Diamond!... Mrs.
Colin Diamond!... A married woman, you
berk!
MAL
...And you a fucking waiter!... A fucking
waiter!... frog waiter!... You cuntin' *
spunka!... You sorry fuck! You'll be
fuckin' sorry!... If you thought
yesterday was something... today's gonna
be somet hin' else!. .. Yes terday was
nothin' !... I 've be en hom e... h ad a
bath... had a kip... somethin' to eat...
watched a bit of telly ... I've got a
li f e! . .. Be e n t o t he pu b .. . h a d a
drink!... Had a laugh!... Had a dance!...
And you?.... You stink!.. Locked in a
wardrobe!... Chucked in like a puppet!...
Like an unwanted toy!... Sack o' shit!...
Where's that bottle opener?... where's that
corkscrew?... Got a knife?
ARCHIE
(Doing nothing)
'Ere it is!
MAL
(Doing nothing)
Ta!... I'm rollin' my sleeves up!... Say
your fuckin' prayers!
They watch as the figure twitches, winces, evades imagined
blows ... Eventually
COLIN
I want to be alone with it
The men look at COLIN...
MAL
Is that a good idea?
ARCHIE and MEREDITH look at each other...
MEREDITH
... Yeah, alright, Col... We'll leave you
alone for a bit ... why not?
MAL
You sure?
ARCHIE
If that's what he wants!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 49.
40 CONTINUED: (6) 40
MEREDITH
We'll have a fag in the passage.
The men begin to leave ... OLD MAN PEANUT approaches COLIN...
OMP
You dare get emotional... You dare get
emotional... Don't you dare... Leave that
out... You hear me?... You kill him quick
and you're a cunt! ... Got that?
ARCHIE
(From the door)
... Peanut!
OMP
Remember ... He's had your wife!... Nice
'n' slow, boy ... Nice `n' slow!
OLD MAN PEANUT leaves the room ... the door is closed ...
long pause ... eventually ...
He glances at the wardrobe *
The door opens and ARCHIE pops his heap in... *
ARCHIE
Everythin' alright, Col?
COLIN
Everythin' alright?!... This cunt's been
up my wife!!... (HE CALMS)... Yeah, I'm
alright, Arch!
ARCHIE goes, closing the door...
CUT TO
41 INT HALLWAY, DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 41
Bare floorboards. Bare walls. Dim lighting. The colours grey,
brown, ochre, dirty cream, black,- Sombre... At the far end
is a dilapidated front door... To the right of rotting stairs
with broken, wooden banisters... MEREDITH sits smoking on top
of a knack ered upr ight pia no . .. O LD M AN P EANU T si ts
grouchily on the keys... MAL, partly hidden, sits smoking on
the stairs ... ARCHIE is gently closing the door to the main
room ... walking up the corridor towards the men/us...
MAL
(Casually)
'S he alright?
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 50.
41 CONTINUED: 41
ARCHIE
(No sweatishly)
Yeah, he's alright.
CUT TO
42 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 42
COLIN and LOVERBOY as before...
COLIN
You didn't know she was married to people
like me, didya? ... Or didya? - Maybe you
did -- probably did - Maybe it made it
more excitin' ... the risk element ...
Yeah, I can see that! (PAUSE) ... You're
thinkin', aren't you? ... Under that
stupid bag ... thinkin' away ... I can
hear it .. . Ca n hea r yo ur br ain
whirrin'... let me 'ave a stab at what
you're thinkin' apart from the obvious -
Sweet Jesus, please help me!"... My guess
is you 're thinkin' , 'Why am I still
alive? These are honourable men I've done
a bad thing - Why am I still alive?"...
Is that right?.. Is it? ... Nod your
fuckin' head if that's right!...
THE FIGURE, slowly nods
COLIN (CONT) (CONT'D)
... Thank you... ... Alright - I'll tell
you why you're still alive ... but this
is just between you and me, mind ...
Thing is, I've got a dilemma! Which is -
and this is stupid, I know - I'm thinkin'
that with you dead - which is what I want
- don't get me wrong - I want you dead -
I think you owe me that - I do! ... Coz
that's what you've done to me - you've
killed me - but see, with you dead ...
She... Liz...Elizabeth. .. will hate me *
forever - end of story... However ... on
the other hand... 'f I let you live ...
well ... maybe ... Me an' Liz ... we can
... who knows ... who fuckin' knows ...
(PAUSE)... So that's the state of play... *
That's where we're at! (PAUSE)... D'you
know, I don't even know what you look *
like!.. It's all been a blur to me...
Last night I couldn't see anythin' what
wi t h a l l t h e r a g e a n d t h a t - T h e
disappointment - Come on then, let's `ave *
a look at you...
Slowly COLIN goes towards the figure... Stands in front of
it... Stares at i t...
51.
42 CONTINUED: 42
Suddenly his hands grab at the black plastic- he roughly
tears it open eventually revealing the bloody vest and pant-
ed body ... Now he slowly lifts the crumpled Tesco bag from
the head and we see the bowed, beaten face of LOVERBOY, early
30's ... Eventually...
COLIN (CONT) (CONT'D)
You know-you're not a bad looking boy!..
Yeah, I can see the attraction!... Young
... fit ... well built ... sexy ... but
if you don't mind my sayin' so - isn't it
all a bit obvious? Bit of a clich�? ...
(PAUSE) What was she doing? ... Silly cow
... What a stupid woman!...
COLIN slowly returns to his seat ... Uncaps the brandy ...
Pours some into the cap and drinks it...
COLIN (CONT'D)
(To Loverboy)
You don't know the first thing about
her! ... Bet she's never farted in
front of you, has she! ... Has she?
... No! ... I thought not!... it's not
romantic, is it? ... you just wanted
the perfumed clouds of love! ... The
magicalness of it all! ... All the
false crap!...Well I've got news for
you, s onny J im - t hat's not l ove!
That' s in - erm - whatdyamacallit -
fatuation ... tha t's wh at it is...
that's not fuckin' love!... Y'dildo...
Love's `ard work! `Ard graft! Love can
be murder! It's putting her first- not
you ... her! ... Watching what she
wants to watch on telly ... taking her
the papers and a cup of tea in bed on
a Sunday morning ... And enquiring...
as to how she might be feeling... "you
alr ig ht, L iz ?.. . Pl ump in g up he r
pillows... and she might get irritated
by tha t... ' leave me in peace for
God's sake! Constant attention!"...
and that might hurt, hearing that ... *
her saying that... but you've got to
ta k e i t o n t he c hi n . H av e b r oa d
shoulders. 'Cos she's the queen and
you're the bee ... the Dad... and so
wh a t i f y ou co o k t h e d in n er an d
there's no thanks for it! Don't do it
if you expect thanks for it! That's
not w hy yo u do it ! ... E nj oy th e
washing up-whistle while you work ...
and if she shouts through for you to
"shut up please stop whistling`---
then shut up! Stop whistling! Doesn't
co s t no t h i n g! . . .
(MORE)
52.
42 CONTINUED: (2) 42
COLIN (CONT'D)
And, yes, you've ignored the dripping
tap or whatever for five years but one
day, for whatever reason, fuck knows
why, you get up off your fat arse and
you find yourself under the sink with
a span ner in your hand and yo u're
s m i l i n g a
way like fuck...'Cos you know that its
gonna please her! ... And if she don't
notice it, she don't notice it. It
don't matter. It's plumbed It's fixed.
It counts. It's the maintenance of a
marria ge. Th e nuts and bolts. The
nitty gritty. The reality... That's
life. That's love. It ain't easy ...
Nobody ever said i t'd b e easy and
they're right! It's hard work.... But
love c an be lovely ... ( meanin gful
pause)... One day... you're shaving in
the bathroom mirror - with a soapy
face - and you 'll fee l h er
approaching... entering... she's come
in for a pair of tights drying on the
radiator... on the way out she pats
your bum and she'll give you a tiny
smile - almost not a smile - almost
invisible - but a smile nevertheless
and it'll mean the fucking world to *
you... The whole incredible world...
The f uck in g uni ve rs e! (p au se) .. .
Me?... I'm old fashioned ... I'm like
swans-one partner for life! ... And
now y ou co me al on g in yo ur ti gh t
tro use rs to sp oi l i t all ! You 'v e *
spoilt my life! Degraded me! Brought
me to me knees! Humiliated me!... You
ugly cunt ... your heart's ugly ...
selfish ... selfish, ugly, cunt !...
Love is give and take, mate ... give
and take... give... and... take... You
to o k. . . a nd I g i ve . .. I g iv e .. .
(STARES AT LOVER BOY LOSES IT BALLS
HIS FIST MENACINGLY) I give you such a
fucking punch in the mouth in a minute
... (PAUSE) I wet the bed last night
... coz of you ... cried myself to
sleep . .. Cr ied m yself to fuckin' *
sleep! ... Thanks to you! ... Look at
me... Look at me crying!... Look at
these tears! ... Fucking look at me!
You fucking look at me! ... Look at
me!... You fucking cunt !... I said
look at me!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 53.
42 CONTINUED: (3) 42
LOVERBOY gradually, painfully, lifts his bowed head ...
Slowly, very slowly, he turns ... And looks at COLIN ...
They look at each other...
CUT TO.
43 EXT WEST PIER, BRIGHTON MISTY NIGHT 1954 43
His face is blank. Heartless. Matter of fact. Grizzled.
Cold. His eyes dull. Black. Stony ... He is thick set... Bear-
like... He wears a scruffy tweed coat ... A flat working man's
cap a thick, battered gypsy belt-and he is busy bundling a
live cockerel into the Hessian sack before him ... In with
the snake ... In with the dog ... In with the man - the
beaten, terrified, whimpering man in the sack...the four
creatures in there together ... Pandemonium in the sack as he
ties it off ... Brutishly dragging the hellish parcel to the
edge of the pier-and lazily booting it into the dark sea
below .. . He tur ns now . .. His task com pleted . .. And
couldn't give a monkeys as he looks with zero compassion down
the barrel of the camera at us... He walks off, disappearing
into the foggy night ... This was BRIGHTON BILLY...
CUT TO.
44 EXT UNDERWATER NIGHT 44
In the gloomy dirty, silent water the tethered sack descends
... Hellish movement inside...
CUT BACK TO
45 INT HALLWAY, DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 45
The men as before ... Eventually...
MEREDITH
'Ow's yer Mum, Arch?
ARCHIE
(Modest. Fond)
Yeah, she's alright... fine... doin'
very well ... (SLIGHT PAUSE) `Ad a bit
of a scare last week, though ... She *
fell outa bed, middle of the night!
... I didn't hear `er! ... Found 'er
in the mornin' sleepin' on the floor!
Frightened the life out, of me! - but
sh e ' s a l r i g h t . . . D o c ' s a y s i t
'appens...
MAL
She's tough, your Mum ... she'll go on
forever!
54.
45 CONTINUED: 45
ARCHIE
(Sweetly. Lovingly)
... Yeah ... she'll outlive me -- that's
for sure!
MEREDITH
Give 'er my regards!
ARCHIE
(Gratefully)
Yeah, I will ... I will ... course...
Silence- eventually...
OMP
D'you remember Samson?...Who remembers
Samson?
MAL
'Ad a petshop on the Roman Road.
OMP
No! The Bible! ... A strongman!
MEREDITH
Victor Mature... *
(beat) *
... Never fancied `im. *
OMP
... I'm talkin' about the real McCoy ..
the actual bloke!
MAL
(To Peanut)
What about 'im?
MEREDITH
Now Rod Taylor - that's different! - What
a shag! Mamma Mia! -- Big fat back!
OMP
(Ignoring)
This is a man who's got everything! ...
Power. ' Influence. Upper body strength.
Friends in 'igh places!
MEREDITH
And John Saxon! - Enter the drag - queen!
-- Sex-ee!
OMP
He meets this bitch...
MEREDITH
Boyd'y! - Stephen Boyd! - Scrumptious!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 55.
45 CONTINUED: (2) 45
OMP
(Persevering)
... Falls in love with the cunt... *
MEREDITH
... And Paul McCartney, strangely enough!
OMP
(Pestered)
...He falls in love with the cunt...
ARCHIE
...'S Sir Paul now, innit?
MEREDITH
Hedi Lamarr!
OMP
(irate)
Oh, please! Let me say what I'm sayin'!
MEREDITH
But that's who it is. In the film - Hedi
Lamarr!
O.M.P.
(impatient)
In the film, yeah ... *
MEREDITH
Delilah
OMP
Yeah, right hooer! ... He's got this
lovely long hair ... as was the style in
them days ... and its where he got `is
st r en g th fr o m . .. On e n i gh t s h e' s
dru gge d' im .. . p ut a po tio n in 'i s
drink...
CUT TO
46 INT BED CHAMBER BC NIGHT 46
C/U on a bejewelled, golden goblet of red wine on a marble
surface... Now a many braceleted beautiful arm and heavily
ringed hand of a woman comes into view... Powder is gently
poured into the goblet...
CUT BACK TO
47 INT HALLWAY, DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 47
OMP
... He's gone all woozy and he's conked
out on the marble floor...
(MORE)
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 56.
47 CONTINUED: 47
OMP (CONT'D)
She's crept off like the rat she is and
she's come back.. with a pair of scissors
... And she's give'im the full monty ...
short back and sides!
CUT TO
48 INT BED CHAMBER BC NIGHT 48
We are C/U on the back of a head of extremely long hair,-the
same ringed hands wielding scissors, frenziedly hack and chop
in a flurry of hair barbarism!
CUT BACK TO
49 INT HALLWAY, DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 49
OMP
... Next mornin' he's woke up ... gone
into the bathroom for a wash ... Looked
in the mirror ... seen the state of his
barnet and he's flipped `is lid! ... He's
hit the roof!...-He's gone apeshit!..
CUT TO
50 INT OLD TESTAMENT BATHROOM DAY 50
We see SAMSON... 6'5"... Hunky, handsome, beefcake... His
hair cut superman-style ... Going beserk! ... Smashing the
roo m up .. . Wa il ing .. . Sc rea mi ng .. . H ow li ng ... W it h
displeasure at his new style...
CUT BACK TO
51 INT HALLWAY, DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 51
OMP
... H e's r each ed fo r hi s tru sty
broadsword only to discover he can't pick
it up - weighs a ton!! ... His strength
was in his hair you see ... He can't even
pick up his fuckin' toothbrush! ... From
then on his life was terrible ... Fell
apart!... They stabbed 'is eyes out ...
blinded 'im! Stuck `im in a dungeon!...
Bread and water!... Whipped! Lashed!
Mornin', noon and night!...
CUT TO
52 INT DUNGEON BC NIGHT 52
SAMSON, chained up, sporting a pudding basin cut ... His bare
back being lashed by TWO BURLY, UNIFORMED SOLDIERS ... Crack!
Crack! Crack!.. Over this we hear...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 57.
52 CONTINUED: 52
OMP (VOICE)
... His life was a fuckin' misery!..
C/U on SAMSON'S agonised face as he's being whipped, his hair
something of a `bob'... Over this we hear...
OMP (VOICE) (CONT'D)
... But all the while see, his hair's
growin' back in!
JUMP CUT TO
C/U on SAMSON'S agonised face as he's being whipped, his hair
somewhat 'pageboy'... Over this we hear...
OMP (VOICE) (CONT'D)
... He's gettin' stronger!
JUMP CUT TO
SAMSON. Long haired, chained up alone in the, dungeon ...
Presently the sound of the heavy door being unbolted ...
Slowly it eases open ... And there stands DELILAH, tears in
her eyes...
OMP VOICE
... She comes to visit `'im ... Tries to
make it up...
She throws herself on him ... Is all over him ... Smothering
him with kisses ... We see SAMSON'S harsh, hard, set face as
he's being kissed...
OMP VOICE (CONT'D)
But he don't want to know! - Well he sort
of does ... but anyway...
Sud de nl y t he c ha ine d up S AMS ON s pu rns t he r epe nt an t
DELILAH... He lashes out with his sandaled, foot ... And
boots her across the room ... She lands like a sack of
potatoes against the wall...
CUT BACK TO
53 INT HALLWAY, DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 53
OMP
... Now by this stage his hair's down
'ere... (INDICATES ON HIMSELF) ... And
his might's comin' back - Slowly but
surely!... Comes the day of the big party
in the temple and he's well up for it!
Can't wait! Bent on vengeance!... But
he's got fuck all on `im - no weapons -
no nothin' - No matter!...
CUT TO
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 58.
54 INT TEMPLE PARTY BC NIGHT 54
MUSIC 'CANNED HEAT' BY JAMIROQUAI...
Lavish, debauched frivolities- PHILISTINES, MACEDONIANS,
PERSIANS ETC having a ball...to one side of the dance floor
we see the forlorn figure of SAMSON...
OMP VOICE
He's chained up between these two columns
... Great thick pillars ... And all the
guests are taunting 'im ... slaggin' 'im
off...
We see this ... Liberties being taken with poor SAMSON ...
Women teasing him ... Dwarfs kicking -him ... A camp chap in
a robe lifting SAMSON'S tunic to reveal his undergarments-
SAMSON, somewhat mincily, twists and writhes, squirms, in a
vain attempt to protect his modesty ... But it is hopeless
... The tau nter s s quea l w ith del ight at his pa thet ic
plight... .
OMP VOICE (CONT'D)
... Callin' 'im this and that ... every
name under the sun and he thinks - right -
fuck you lot, 'ave some of this...
SAMSON, incensed, begins to push mightily against the pillars
-his face a mask of crazed revenge
CUT BACK TO.
55 INT HALLWAY DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 55
OLD MAN PEANUT is determinedly pushing against the walls of
the hallway ... The others, slightly bored, vaguely amused,
watch him...
OMP
(Pushing the walls)
... And with 'is bare hands...'is simple,
big, bare fuckin' hands - he's pushed and
he's pushed... pushed and pushed -'uffin'
an' puffin' 'eavin' an 'oin'... until the
ve r y f o u n d a t i o n s o f t h e h o u s e o f
debauchery start to crack - to yield...
to crumble... and I'm tellin' ya, they
built things proper in them days. Built
to last - this was no mean feat...And
with one mammoth shove ... One terrible
thrust... He's brought the whole kaboodle
crashin' to the ground!... He's killed
the whole fuckin' tot of 'em!!
CUT TO
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 59.
56 INT TEMPLE DEVASTATED NIGHT 56
Chaos... Panic stricken party-goers fleeing in terror...
Rushing towards and past the camera... Behind them the temple
in ruins ... People crushed ... Limbs sticking out of the
rubble...
CUT BACK TO
57 INT HALLWAY, DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 57
ARCHIE
And 'imself!
OMP
And 'imself! ... He didn't give a fuck
about 'imself by this point! ... And all
because....
MUSIC begins "THIS & THAT" by TOM JONES...
CUT TO
58 INT ROOM DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 58
MUSIC CONTINUES-...
LOVERBOY is as before ... We see the back of COLIN as he
leans on the mantelpiece ... Deep in thought...
OMP VOICE
... And all because?...
CROSS FADE TO
59 EXT DESERTED STREETS/ALLEYWAY RAIN NIGHT 59
THE MUSIC CONTINUES...
The streets deserted..... Bleak.... Drizzly.... Foreboding
CROSS FADE TO...
60 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 60
THE MUSIC CONTINUES...
COLIN sits in front of LOVERBOY... staring intently at him...
OMP VOICE
... And all because?...
CROSS FADE TO...
61 EXT DESERTED STREETS/ALLEYWAYS RAIN NIGHT 61
THE MUSIC CONTINUES...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 60.
61 CONTINUED: 61
The stre ets seem ingl y de sert ed... . B leak .... Driz zly... .
Foreboding.... We become aware of the gentle clicking of high
heel shoes...
CROSS FADE TO...
62 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 62
THE MUSIC CONTINUES-
COLIN stands directly behind LOVERBOY ... staring down
murderously at him...
OMP VOICE
... And all because?...
COLIN slowly lifts his head ... and stares down the barrel of
the camera...
CUT TO
63 INT HALLWAY, DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 63
C/U on OLD MAN PEANUT...
OMP
... of a woman!
THE MUSIC STOPS.
CUT TO.
64 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 64
COLIN staring darkly at LOVERBOY...
COLIN
...(QUIETLY)... I was up at the window... the
broken window... I called to her ... She *
couldn't have heard me... couldn't have
heard me... I went fuckin' bananas ...
ballistic ... went fuckin' spare ... You
ain't seen nothin' like this ... like
what I did ... I 'was possessed ... I
smashed my home up! With my bare hands I
smashed my home to pieces!'... BANG!
Elbowed the telly!... BANG!... There goes
the coffee table!... BANG!...That's the
stereo fucked!... BANG!., Gonna need a
new settee now!... And carpets!... And
it's BANG this and its BANG that! BANG!
BANG! BANG! - Like Sonny and fuckin'
Cher!... I almost killed the family dog! -
You almost killed the family dog! D'You *
accept that you've spunked all over my
marriage? (LOVERBOY SLIGHTLY NODS) ...
(MORE)
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 61.
64 CONTINUED: 64
COLIN (CONT'D)
Note that the prisoner has nodded his
head ... How do you plead? ... Exactly!
As sin!... Before sentence is passed, do
you have anythin' to say for yourself? No
you don't! Take him away... come'ere!...
I'm gonna strangle your eyeballs out!
Gonna embed your 'ead in that wall!...
He lunges towards LOVERBOY ... murderously, his hands about
to strangle...
SUDDENLY...
LIZ'S VOICE
(From outside. Distant)
No!
COLIN freezes in his tracks, shocked at what he has heard...
What he thinks he has heard... Backs away from LOVERBOY...
Gathers himself... Makes his way gingerly to the filthy
window... Tries to clear the accumulated grime with the palm
of his hand... Eventually can just about see through onto the
street... All seems quiet, deserted... But no... He catches a
glimpse, a blur, of red -- A figure? ... Disappears...
Colin shocked... backing away from the window slightly... Then
edging closer again... Peering through ... Seeing ... 30 yds
away, standing stock still, staring back at him... LIZ... She
is glamorous ... A slinky red cocktail dress... High heels...
No bag... No coat... Un-bloody, un-marked, un-scathed... Full
make up... A fantastic face... A fantastic face...staring
back at him...
COLIN
(Shell-shocked)
... Liz!
She turns ... Walks into the dark ... And is gone... COLIN
desperate, can't see properly, smashes the filthy pane of
glass with his elbow... Suddenly legs appear at the window...
Striding silently past ... But they are giant- she must be
50ft tall... And now they are gone ...
64A INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE 64A *
COLIN turns back into the room now populated with OMP , *
MEREDITH, MAL and ARCHIE. COLIN stands strong... As strong as *
he can ... Braced ... Holding his head high - as high as he
can ... Expectant ... Looking towards the door ... As it
slowly begins to open ... LIZ enters... *
MAL
She's got some fuckin' balls, I'll tell
ya... she has got some fuckin' balls!
And now she appears ... In the doorway ... And COLIN is
looking at her ... At LIZ... The men have taken their seats
... Interested ... Very interested...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 62.
64A CONTINUED: 64A
OMP
I knew she'd show her Jezebel face!
MAL
(To Loverboy)
'Ere, Romeo, things are lookin' up ...
the cavalry's arrived!... Can't you smell
it?!
COLIN is looking at her ... But her loveliness is sapping his
strength ... He can't take it ... He can't take the beauty...
He crumples into a nearby armchair ... His face averted from
all ... Eventually
LIZ
(Look ing a t Lov erbo y. So tto
voce)
... Bastards...
MAL
What's that, slag?
ARCHIE
Now that's something I don't like - A
woman swearin'... Its unbecomin'!
OMP
She wants her fucking mouth washed out
with soap, she does!
MAL
Jokin', mate ... she'd fuckin' love that!
LIZ
You all must be very proud of yourselves.
OMP
Not yet we ain't but we're gettin' there!
LIZ
What have you done to him?
ARCHIE
It's a ll se lf in flict ed... all self
inflicted.
OMP
He's a masherkist!
MEREDITH
A what?!
OMP
A masherkist!... You must know what a
masherkist is! Don't you know what a
masherkist is? - A masherkist!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 63.
64A CONTINUED: (2) 64A
MEREDITH
(Laughing ... Can't bear it)
Don't say that word anymore ... please!
LIZ
(Takes out a cigarette)
... Mal, have you got a light?
MAL
What? Yeah...
MAL goes to LIZ ... Lights her cigarette ... She touches
his hand gently as he does so... MAL looks at her ... She
looks at him...
OMP
(To Mal)
What you doin?
MAL
(Dumbly)
Giving her a light...
OMP
Well just give her it, then! Doesn't `ave
to be all that!
MAL hesitates ... Returns to his seat ... Eventually...
LIZ
Thanks, Mal.
LONG PAUSE...
MEREDITH
'Ere Liz...'ere's a funny thing ... Last
week, right, I went to get a new pair of
shoes ... down Bond Street ... So I've
popped into this shop and I've said I
want that pair - those in the window - in
a ten... So he's brought'em to me and I
tr i es 'e m o n .. . b e au t if u l. . . l ik e
slippers... bit loud for this lot but me
to a 'T'... I'll 'ave 'em... Ow much?...
Four 'undred and forty four pounds!... So
I'm counting out the money and I can feel
the assistant standing too close - like
here - like his head's by my chin ... So
I've eased him back a tad and I says, 'ow
much were these again? ... and he's told
me ... repeated it ... Four 'undred and
forty-four pounds ... Tell you what, I
say s. .. I' ll g iv e y ou f iv e 'un dr ed
for'em... I'll get the box, he says ...
but I've called him back ...
(MORE)
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 64.
64A CONTINUED: (3) 64A
MEREDITH (CONT'D)
Never mind the box, I says, stick `em in
a paper bag!... Right you are, sir, he
says ... and toddles off.
LIZ
I know you hate me.
MEREDITH
Lovely shoes! ... Hate you? ... No-one's
hating ... not in this room ... So shut
your fucking mouth!
ARCHIE
(Pointing to Meredith's feet)
Is that them?
MEREDITH
(Eyes on Liz)
... No... these are boots ... this was
shoes ... Would you like something to
drink, Liz? ... (he walks over to her
with his whiskey bottle) ... Sorry we
ain't got a glass ... D'you mind the
bottle?
OMP
Up yer arse!
MEREDITH
(Tuts. Waves his finger at Old *
Man Peanut)
Peanut!... (To LIZ) ... Apologies for
that ... That was uncalled for ... Do
you forgive 'im?
LIZ
I didn't hear him.
MEREDITH
... I said sorry we ain't got a glass ...
D'you mind the bottle? And he said, `Up
your arse!"... D'you forgive 'im?
LIZ ignores- reaches for the whiskey bottle ... Takes a swig
... Hands it back... MEREDITH returns to his seat...
ARCHIE
Why'd you give' im five 'undred for 'em?
MEREDITH
You wouldn't understand.
ARCHIE
No I don't!
OMP
He was bein' flash!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 65.
64A CONTINUED: (4) 64A
OMP (CONT'D) *
Is it true?... Is it? ... Is it true,
Liz?
LIZ
Is what true?
OMP
Is it true you're expectin?
MAL
(Surprised)
Is she?!
OMP
(Relishing the thought)
Could be!... Could be, Col!... (COLIN
IS LISTENING. ALARMED. ALL EARS) ...
Eh? ... A little one . .. a l ittle
bastard!...
LIZ
(Dismissively)
Oh, shut up ... you idiot!
COLIN looks at her, weighing it up, unsure...
OMP
Coz if it's true ... if it is true ... *
you're comin' round my house ... get in
the back room ... bottle of gin ... in
the tin bath ... and my Agnes'll take
care of it - with a coat hanger!... Then
that'll be ta ken ca re of and we can
forget all about this slack behaviour of
yours...
MEREDITH
It's not exactly BUPA, is it?!
OMP
(To Meredith)
It's the way it's done! It's what you
do!... To amend!
MAL
Nah ... you're just gettin' your rocks
off! - He's just gettin' 'is rocks off,
Colin!
OMP
If she were mine I'd stone 'er!
LIZ *
Like you've been stoning Agnes for years?
66.
64A CONTINUED: (5) 64A
OMP
You what?... What did you say?... You're
wrong!... Fucking fornicator!... -She's
loyal to me... Faithful and true! ...
LIZ
She's just scared...
OMP
You bitch!... Bad-mouthing me!... You!...
Its outrageous!... Knock some sense into
her , C ol in! .. . B eat i t o ut of h er!
You're in trouble you cunt and you know
it! .. . You hear me? ... W hore! ...
Colin, if you're not gonna do something
about this ... I'll do something!
LIZ
Like what? Piss your pants?
OMP
'Ow dare you!...'Ow dare you!... I'll
mark your face forever!... I'll knock
your fuckin' teeth out (as he says this
his dentures slip out of his mouth. his
jaw grapples to re-grip them)
LIZ laughs at his plight...
LIZ
Come on then...
OMP
(Flustered)
Colin!
LIZ
What are you waiting for?
OLD MAN PEANUT, furious, rises...
ARCHIE
Don't rise to it, Pop!
OMP
(Sitting)
...Yeah, you're right! ... Why give
her the satisfaction?! ... I wouldn't
gi ve h e r th e p ic ki n gs o f f my
handkerchief! ... (TO LIZ) In time ...
In time lady ... All in good time ...
I'm gonna enjoy watching you squeal
lik e th e sow y ou a re! .. . An d yer
little piglet!
LIZ
Oh, grow up!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 67.
64A CONTINUED: (6) 64A
MAL
(Indicating Loverboy)
He ' s n ot sa y in ' m uc h , i s h e, To m
Cruise?!
ARCHIE
He's keepin' his head down...'Opin it'll
go away...
OMP
Well, it won't!... Whoremonger!
MAL
(To Loverboy)
Oi, fi shface ... S he's lookin ' at
you!... Now she's lookin' at me! ...
Now she's lookin' at you again!... (TO
THE MEN) ... Did you see that? How she
went f rom lo ve to hate in a s plit
second?
OMP
Typical!
MAL
(To Loverboy)
Come on then! ... Give her a look! ... A
look of love! ... Oi, buggerlugs, you
listenin?...Am I talkin' to myself 'ere?!
Fuckin' look at 'er! ... Look at `er, you
worthless'cowson!
OMP
Adulterer!
ARCHIE
Look at 'er!
MAL
Cunt!!
LIZ
Stop it!
MAL
Shut up!... (TO LOVERBOY) Look at `er!
Slowly, painfull y, LOVER BOY lif ts his h ead to l ook at
LIZ...they stare into each other's eyes...
ARCHIE
(Falsely moved)
Aahh!
MAL
... By the way... Do you still love her?
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 68.
64A CONTINUED: (7) 64A
Slowly LOVERBOY looks away from LIZ...
MAL (CONT'D)
There's your answer!... I think we can
take that as a 'No'!... Well we've learnt
something ... Fear is stronger than love!
ARCHIE
I knew that!... Everyone knows that!...
MEREDITH
(Staring at Colin)
... Do they?...
LIZ is staring at LOVERBOY... COLIN watching her every move
like a hawk....she rises from her chair ... Goes to LOVERBOY
... Kneels beside him ... Gently turns his face to look at
her ... She smiles at him with great tenderness - COLIN,
heartbroken, watches ... LIZ kneeling beside LOVERBOY...
Tenderly stroking his face ... The men chatter quietly
feeling for COLIN...
MAL
(Sotto voce)
Should he be seein' that?
MEREDITH
(Sotto Voce)
Can't be favourite!
OMP
(quietish)
They may as well be fuckin' doin' it in
front of 'im!
ARCHIE
(Sympathetically sotto voce)
That's gotta smart!
MAL
(Sotto voce)
You do not wanna see your wife tendin' to
another man in that way! - That's 'usband
only stuff!.
MEREDITH
'S quite beautiful, really...
OMP
What you on about?! 'S ugly! 'S `ideous! -
it's pornogrographic!
MEREDITH
...'S like a paintin'...'Loverboy bein'
tended to by 'is Liz ... (ARCHIE and MAL
suppressing laughter) ... with spare
prick Colin lookin' on'! ...
(MORE)
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 69.
64A CONTINUED: (8) 64A
MEREDITH (CONT'D)
(giggling schoolboys) ... Oil on canvas!
... I might paint that when I get home
... give it to Archie's mum on Pancake
Day...
MAL
(Wetting himself)
Shutup!!
ARCHIE
(Wiping away a laughter tear)
Poor bastard!
MAL
(Sobering)
... You alright Col?
Now COLIN turns from the Pieta ... Towards the men...
COLIN
(to MAL)
... Yeah, I'm alright, Archie!
MAL
What?
ARCHIE
I'm Archie!
MAL
I'm Mal!
COLIN
I'm not Colin!
MEREDITH
That's interestin'!
OMP
(Confused)
Eh!
COLIN
He's gone.
ARCHIE
Gone? ... Where? ... Where you gone, son?
COLIN
There is no Colin... No such man... No
such person... Not anymore... There was a
man called Colin... He looked like me...
But not anymore ... (pause) His boots
were covered in icing...
OMP
Eh!
70.
64A CONTINUED: (9) 64A
COLIN *
... Little mornin' suit... *
MEREDITH *
(Cheerily tipping an invisible *
hat)
Mornin'!
COLIN
... Little gentleman... (goes over to
LIZ...) You remember Colin, don't you?...
Course you do!.. No?... He had a big
heart!... Don't you remember? 'Ave you
forgot ? - h is ki ndnes s... His s weet
nature ... C ouldn 't do enou gh, c ould
he?... Family man... Proud... His kids...
Home... His wife... How he used to make
her laugh... Spoil her... Dote on her...
Different treats... Ah, well!... Do you
know what happened to him? - I do!...
Yeah!... He was murdered! Yeah!, In his
kitchen - that's right!... in his own
fuckin' kitchen!... Had his fuckin' heart
ripped out ... standin' by the fridge...
Should've seen his face - Stupid! Looked
like a cunt !... He did!... You would've
laughed!
ARCHIE
(Straight)
No one's callin' you a cunt, Col.
COLIN
(To Liz ... indicating
Loverboy)
... He met Colin! ... Didn't you? ...
Last night ... Do you remember? ... He
wasn't very nice to you was he?! ...
No he wasn't! (DIRECTLY TO LIZ) Didn't
k n o w w h a t f u c k i n ' h i t h im ! He
remembers Colin, alright! ... The man
Colin!...
MAL
Yeah, he fucked 'is fuckin' wife, didn't
he?! Fucked 'is fuckin' wife!
LIZ
(Rises takes out a cigarette)
What and you wouldn't?
MAL is stunned ... LIZ sits by OLD MAN PEANUT ... who without
thinking, lights her cigarette...
MAL
What did you say? What did she say?...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 71.
64A CONTINUED: (10) 64A
LIZ
I said that given half a chance you'd try
to fuck me.
All eyes on MAL...
MAL
(Defensively)
Not now I wouldn't!
COLIN
(Studying him)
Well when, then?
MAL
Never! Fuck off! - What is this?! ...
(a l l e ye s o n M A L) Fu c k' s s a ke ! .. .
What?. .. Wh at th e fuc k is this? !...
Don't! ... Don't do this, Col... this
ain't right! ... What you tryin' to do -
put me in the fuckin' wardrobe?! ...
Wel l, I' m no t goi n' in th e fuc ki n'
war dr obe !. .. I re fu se to g o i n th e
fuckin' wardrobe !.. Alright?!... Fuckin'
make me out to be a... to be a...
COLIN
To be a what?
MAL
Look she's a good lookin' woman - she's
beautiful - she's sexy - she's horny -
fuckin' Meredith said as much - You'd
have to be blind not to notice - deaf and
dumb - but if you're expectin' me to deny
that ... I'm not gonna! ... But one thing
I am fuckin' not ... one thing I am most
definitely not - is -
LIZ
- A liar.
MAL
That's fuckin' right! Fuckin' right!...
Look, Colin, you've obviously got a bee
in your bonnet about somethin' but all I
did was give her a light!
COLIN
I've told you ... I'm not Colin
MAL
(Irate)
Yeah? Well I'm not fuckin' Liz!
- He is! (Points to LOVERBOY)
72.
64A CONTINUED: (11) 64A
COLIN looks to LOVERBOY ... looks back to MAL ... stares at *
him ... eventually lets it go ... looks at the men... looks *
at LIZ, who sits smoking ... looks to LOVERBOY... *
CUT TO
65 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 65
COLIN and LOVERBOY alone ... COLIN studying him...
COLIN
You 'r e m or e 'an dso me tha n m e. Mor e
virile. Younger. Probably more sexually
experienced ... patient, considerate,
tender, sensitive, kind, thoughtful,
sh a r i ng , g i vi n g , in t e l l ig e n t ,
passionate... D'you want me to go on? ...
Bet you get her goin' ... take her there
... talk to her, listen to her, hear her -
yo u h ea r h e r! . . . Y o u l au g h -
together!... God you're manly! Fuckin'
manly! ... What a man ! "Go d's g ift!
You're everythin a woman could want... I
can just see your wardrobe! - Everythin'
colour co-ordinated! Whatever you pick
out to wear ... whatever combination - it
works! - You look superb! ... And your
underw ear - immac ulate ! 100 % cot ton!
Dazzlin'!... Not like my pinky grey-y
things! Nah, you've just got it - good at
everythin'! ... Me - on the other hand -
I'm good at sittin'!... Sit, sit, sit...
watch, watch, watch ... drink, drink,
drink... Honestly, she must've spent *
half our marriage yawnin "... The kids --
d'you know what they call me? - Captain
Arsehole! - Oh, but they do! Captain
Arsehole! - They were thinkin' of gettin'
T-shirts printed up for the whole family
with my photo on them and the legend
"Captain Arsehole" printed underneath!...
And you know what? - I'd ave worn one! -
I would've! If it'd've pleased them -
given 'em a laugh - I'd a worn one! ...
Wouldn't I, Liz?
He turns-but the room is empty ... Just him and LOVERBOY ...
COLIN realises he's been seen talking to himself ... Turns on
LOVERBOY...
COLIN (CONT'D)
What you starin' at?!... French Cunt!... *
Sittin' there all superior... Shut your
mouth - shut your noise... (pause) Shut
your eyes!... Shut your fuckin' eyes!...
(LOV ERB OY do es so ... CO LI N g ra bs a
chair... sits facing LOVERBOY)...
(MORE)
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 73.
65 CONTINUED: 65
COLIN (CONT'D)
Right - you're comin' with me!... (pause,
stares hard at terrified LOVERBOY ) ...
This is it... here we are... The Master
bedroom, look...
CUT TO
66 INT MASTER BEDROOM DETACHED SUBURBAN VILLA DAY 66
We enter the bedroom just behind COLIN ... He looks over his
shoulder ... Talks/refers directly to camera/LOVERBOY ...
COLIN
...recently painted... That's the bed...
see the tangled sheets?!... (indicates a
door. Opens it.)... Bathroom! - en suite
look ... gold taps! - but never mind
that... ignore all that... that's not why
you're in `ere... It's that - that look -
this - this look - this 'ere... (he has
moved to a chest of drawers)... this
chest of drawers... Inside here, mate, is
tre as ure .. . (ca re ss es th e che st o f
drawers). Treasure like you wouldn't
fuckin' believe! - Should we have a look
inside it?... Shall we?...We fuckin'
shall!... (slowly opens a drawer)... What
we got 'ere? 'S her underwear, look ...
all s oft a n' wa rm .. . a n' p ret ty .. .
(slowly turns to us. Stares darkly. Turns
away. Shuts the drawer)... Shut that...
'Ow a bou t th is on e? (o pe ns an ot he r
drawer ) My socks and pants ! (cl oses
it)... What about this one? This could be
interestin'... (slowly opens another
drawer. His face lights up). Bingo! (He
extracts an old document. holds it up for
us to see) ... See this? See it? D'you
know what this is? No?... I'll tell ya
what this is - 's the contract!...'s the
marriage contract! (stares smugly)...
Lets see what it says, shall we? (READS)
'Mr and Mrs Colin Diamond!'... It's there
in black and white. Plain as the broken
nose on your face...'Married'! 'By law!
'Before God'!... There's no gettin' round
that!... We must accept that!... So...
this piece of paper's gonna be a bit
trick y... yeah, diff icult ... hmm ...
(MUSES) Tell ya what, lets lay it aside
for a bit... (puts it back)...'Allo ,
what's this? (takes out a photograph) 'S
a p ho to! T ha t's u s on ou r wed di ng '
day!... Don't laugh at-the suit ... pony
'aircut!.. (stares at it intently) But
didn't she look lovely!....What else we
got in 'ere? (rummages) The stuff you
keep!...'Ere's 'er garter, look!
(MORE)
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 74.
66 CONTINUED: 66
COLIN (CONT'D)
(shows it to us) ... Blue, of course!...
Wha t' s i n th is bo x? (o pe ns a sm al l
box)... Oh, it's cake! Bit of cake! Still
all right. . still moist - you could eat
that!... (looks at it intently... then
returns it to the drawer. Now his eye
catches something inside and slowly he
reaches in ... gently extracts a fancy,
pearl handled, gleaming, 12" knife.)
'Ere's the knife we cut it with!... (he -
confronts us. Holding it staring at us
darkly. Murderously ... Eventually...)
... Best put this away, eh?. '. (slides
the knife back into the drawer. Finds
something else ... Something 2 inches
tall. His face fills with wonder)...
Ere's a little man, look ... off the top
of the cake! Ain't he 'andsome! (looks
closely at it)... In 'is little mornin'
suit ... aahh!! - Top hat - spats 'n'
al l ! . . . I t s m e ! ! . . . ( S u d d e n l y ,
violently, he thrusts the 2 inch groom
towards us/camera. Holding. It. Shaking
with rage) ... You've made me feel that
sm a ll ! !! (p u ll s h i ms e lf to g et h er .
Retracts the figure) ... He's goin' back
in the drawer! (QUICKLY RETURNS IT) ...
Safe! ... Away from you!!...
CUT BACK TO
75-78.
67 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 67
LOVERBOY with his eyes shut ... COLIN, upset, opposite...
COLIN
Away from you!! ... (TURNING to THE
ROOM) Away from him!!
He turns...and we now see the others back in the room ...
But... LIZ's head is on MEREDITH'S body she smokes ...
MEREDITH'S head is on ARCHIE'S body he leans on the
mantelpiece ... ARCHIE'S head is on MAL's body standing ...
MAL's head is OLD MAN PEANUT's body sitting...
C/U on COLIN'S face ... He can't believe it ... Addresses
the MEREDITH/LIZ person
COLIN (CONT'D)
(Perplexed)
What's 'appenin', Meredith?
But this figure does not reply ... The response comes from
the LIZ/MEREDITH combo...
LIZ/MEREDITH
(But with Old Man Peanut's
voice)
Oh, I'm not Meredith!
OMP
(but with ARCHIE,s gruff
voice)
Oh, gawd! !
COLIN confused ... Fascinated ... Scared ... Especially by
the relaxed, cross legged, smoking, sexy-bodied, feminine
form disturbingly topped with the nasty old head of OLD MAN
PEANUT ... it speaks...
OMP/LIZ
(but with MEREDITH'S smooth
voice)
... My name is Max.
COLIN
- No - Sacha! ...
CUT TO
68 EXT ELEGANT STATELY HOME DAY 68
We take in the splendor of a grand old stately house...Over
this we hear...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 78A.
68 CONTINUED: 68
MEREDITH V/O
Sacha is it...Alright...Sacha it
is...It's your nightmare, Col...I'm
only the chauffeur...
We now see MEREDITH.... Immaculate in a dove grey
chauffeur's uniform - below the window ... On the
impressive gravel drive ... Tending to an orange coloured
Bentley... Over this we hear...
MEREDITH VO
Liz hates me ... She's a lady ... Rich
bitch ... Fuck all to do 'cept shop
and wank... Bored out of her box...
She's at the window ... looking out
... looking down...
We see the upper regency window ... Behind it, staring
through, looking down, is LIZ ... Wearing electric pink
jodhpurs ... Leaf-green, silk, blouse and stock ... Riding
boots ... Her face spectacularly made up - severe.... Over
this we hear...
MEREDITH VO (CONT'D)
I'm in the drive, waxing the
Bentley... I can feel her eyes... on
me... scorching through my dove-grey
uniform... but I'll be damned if I'm
gonna look at her... I know she's
crying... and I can feel her
loneliness ... emptiness... longing...
So I'm buffin' away with my cloth...
my little chamois - leather!...
MEREDITH stops waxing ... LIZ at the window staring down...
he does not look at her...
MEREDITH VO (CONT'D)
... Think I'll `ave a fag... One
deserve one ... Its hard work rubbing
a car down... I smoke - What do I
smoke Col? *
COLIN (V.O.)
Sovereigns! *
He takes out a pack of cigarettes- studies the box with
mild disapproval...
MEREDITH VO (CONT'D) *
Sovereigns!...Alright!...Get the ugly *
old silver pack out ... put one in my *
mouth ... yellow 'clipper'... light it
... lean on the bonnet... puff away
... She's still fuckin' looking at
me...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 78B.
68 CONTINUED: (2) 68
MEREDITH THE CHAUFFEUR
(Not looking at Liz)
... Aintcha?!
MEREDITH (V.O.) *
...Hang on, you're playing safe `ere *
Col. This is more Mal... *
MAL (V.O.) *
Oh. Fucking cheers Meredith. *
Suddenly Mal is the chauffeur -looking as though he's *
dressed in a hurry... *
MAL VO *
What am I doin' `ere?... Is she
looking at me?...She is ain't
she...She's looking at me!...
We see LIZ at the window... She is slowly, erotically,
flagrantly, licking the glass...
MAL VO (CONT'D) *
Hold up!...What's she doin'
now?...She's licking the bleedin'
window...Licking the bleedin'
glass!...What's she doin' that
for?...That's a bit weird,
innit?!...Bloody `ell!
Now he turns ... C/U on him as he looks up at the window
and stares ... Over this we hear...
MAL VO (CONT'D) *
... That's not right! - That ain't -
That's wrong!...Take note Colin, this *
has nothing to do wi' me ...I'm just *
mindin' my own business ... I'm just
'aving a break - `Aving a kit kat!
CUT TO
69 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 69
All in the room...'normal! Again...MAL snaps a piece of
chocolate off a bar and hands it to ARCHIE...
ARCHIE
(To Meredith)
They ain't lookin' for a gardener at
this place by any chance, are they?
MAL *
I don't think you'd like that job.
Don't think you'd be interested in
that particular post.
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 78C.
69 CONTINUED: 69
ARCHIE
Why's that?
MEREDITH
Gardener fucks the maid!
ARCHIE
Sounds alright!
MEREDITH
You ain't seen the maid!
ARCHIE
Be alright, I'll be wearin' muddy
gloves!
They all laugh... *
COLIN *
What about me? *
MEREDITH smiles... Eventually looks at COLIN. *
MEREDITH *
You? Well, Colin, since you ask... *
you're the thing in the basement... *
with the hood on... ain't he Peanut? *
OMP *
Eh? *
CUT TO
70 INT NARROW STONE STAIRCASE LEADING TO DUNGEON NIGHT 70
We are at the foot of the stairs ... can hear footsteps
descending ... and now OLD MAN PEANUT appears ... carrying
a battered old suitcase ... he opens the heavy, wooden,
studded, creaking, dungeon door and enters ... we see a
figure, trussed up in bin bags and with an old Tesco bag on
its head hanging from a meat-hook ... it struggles...OLD
MAN PEANUT slams down the case ... opens it ... inside a
jumbled variety of rusty tools /gadgets/ implements....
from the tangled hardware he manages to extract a thick,
rusty file ... an ancient heavy plane...a mallet-and a six
inch nail ... uttering to himself...
OMP
This is gonna 'urt you much more than
its gonna'urt me!... I feel for ya, I
really don't... (turns and addresses
the hanging figure). You're mincemeat,
mate! - 'Mincemeat!
CUT TO:
78D.
71 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 71
All in the room...COLIN on his feet. his blood up...
COLIN
I am gonna kill `im, Liz - and I'm glad
you're here to see it! ... To see the man
you said `I do' to, defend his honour!
I'm gonna kill `im... like the beast you
think I am!
ARCHIE
Go on, son, fill yer boots!
OMP
'Bout fuckin' time!
COLIN
'Throttle 'im! Kick his sorry arse from
here t o Sun day! (HE I S LOO MING OVER
LOVERBOY, THREATENINGLY, FISTS CLENCHED)
... Tell me you don't love me, Liz...
LIZ
I don't love you.
COLIN
Break 'is fuckin' neck!... (TO LIZ) Come
on, I can take it! Say it!! - Say you
don't love me!...
LIZ
I don't love you.
COLIN
(Shocked. Rocked)
Don't say that! ... What did you say?
ARCHIE
She don't love you, Col.
OMP
'ow 'urtfull
MEREDITH
He's a masherkist!
COLIN
(To Liz. Devastated)
... You don't love me?
She stares at him...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 79.
71 CONTINUED: 71
COLIN (CONT'D)
... Not even a little bit?
She stares at him...
COLIN (CONT'D)
(Intimate. Tender)
You were my Queen. You were my rock ... I
can't - I wish - Wish I could tell you -
I wish - wish you could feel how much -
how very very very much - how very much I
- I - I'd lay down and die for you! - If
that would get you back, that's what I'd
do! -- Oh, that sounds stupid doesn't it?!
But you know what I mean... I mean... Id cut
both my arms off if I could hold you one
last t ime -- oh, that' s mad an' all,
innit!... I love you -- `S as simple as
that! -- Or as complicated! -- whichever it
is -- I'm not sure -- I wish I knew -- I
wish you `adn't've done this, Liz... I
really wish you `adn't've done this!... I
just wish that we --
At this moment LOVERBOY shifts ever so slightly in his chair
to ease his discomfort... COLIN flips...
COLIN (CONT'D)
(Apoplectic)
FUCKIN' SHUTUP YOU CUNT !!!... I'LL
PULL YOUR FUCKIN' ARSEHOLE OUT IN A
MI N U T E ! ! ! (Turns back to Liz,
immediately loving again)... That we --
(trails off)... I love you, Liz... I just
need you to understand -- that I love
you!... (Getting desperate)... I'm a good
bloke, Liz! -- A really good bloke!...
(she is staring at him)... Liz, please
-- you gotta give me somethin'...
so me th i n' ... p le as e... I d es er ve
somethin'... Twenty one years is a long
-- that's a lotta life -- to dedicate --
surely -- please... Liz... somethin'...
LIZ staring at him...
LIZ
... Help me.
COLIN
(Taken aback)
Wha'?
LIZ
Help me.
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 80.
71 CONTINUED: (2) 71
COLIN staring at her...
CUT TO
72 EXT GRASS VERGE BESIDE ELEVATED MOTORWAY NIGHT 72
A car has parked on the motorway... It's door ajar... The DRIVER
is hurriedly/scrambling down the muddy grass verge... Towards
the body of LIZ... She turns her head slowly and with great
difficulty towards him...
LIZ
(Faintly)
Help me...
CUT TO
73 INT KITCHEN/HALLWAY/LOUNGE DETACHED SUBURBAN VILLA NIGHT 73
Chaos... Violence... Terror... Screaming... LIZ, battered, scrambling
around on the kitchen floor... COLIN, mad, grabbing a knife...
After her... On her... Screaming in her face... Insane... With
rage... Fighting... Struggling... LIZ somehow managing to squeeze
through the kitchen door... COLIN after her like a fiend... Her
going down again... Him stamping on her... Kicking... Booting... Like
she's the worst dog in the world... Horrific... Horrendous...
Horrible... He's going to kill her... A howling, wounded beast...
he r la s t ve st i ge o f s tr en gt h ... F o rc in g h er se lf up ...
Running/scrambling in absolute terror... Through the lounge...
Banging off walls and furniture... And still he's in pursuit...
Her life's going to end here... She takes her chances... Runs at
it... To get away... runs at it... Running at the window...
Straight at the window... And crashing through... And down... And
COLIN shocked... And can't believe it... and horrified... And
brought closer to his senses... Him going to it... going to the
shattered window... A weak man... Trembling... And frightened...
And holding onto the window frame to stay upright... And
looking out... And down... And seeing her getting up and
struggling... And limping... And broken... And bleeding... And
running away... Running away... Fleeing... From him... From the
monster at the window... From COLIN...
COLIN
(Shell-shocked. Distraught.
Pathetic)
Liz... I'm sorry... Let's talk... (She *
has gone into the night)... I love you,
Liz!... I love you... ... Liz... Liz, it's *
rainin'... (Sobbing and sobbing and *
sobbing
CUT TO
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 81.
74 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 74
We are on COLIN's face... His heartbroken face... Awash with
tears... Real tears... Tears for her... For LIZ... We pull back
slowly and see COLIN on the floor by LOVERBOY's chair...
Holding on to LOVERBOY's knees/legs... Desperately holding on...
LOVERBOY looking down on him... LOVERBOY's bruised, beaten
face loo kin g do wn on h is `tor tur er'... B ut w ith gre at
compassion... With huge feeling... His own eyes filling with
tears... And COLIN holding on... And sobbing and sobbing and
sobbing... C/U on LOVERBOY's bruised and bloody hand as it
hangs limp by his side... Slowly, painfully, it begins to
move... To reach out... Inches closer to poor COLIN... Gently,
soft ly, ten der ly LOVE RBOY pla ces his hand on COLI N's
anguished head... So softly... So gently...
CUT TO
75 INT HALLWAY DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 75
MAL, MEREDITH, ARCHIE and OLD MAN PEANUT waiting in the hall...
ARCHIE
...Massive, it was... massive `ead! -- Size
of it! -- Like a melon! Like a pumpkin!
Grotesque! `Uge!... Well it wasn't so much
`is `ead -- it was `is face!... It was just
abnormally big -- An abnormality!... Like
th e b o ne st r uc t ur e w a s o ut `e r e --
(indicates with his hands) Rhinoceroussy
-- `ad grown out of all proportion to the
rest of `im... Coz `is skull -- the skull
itself -- the top -- it was in actuality
quite small -- not much bigger than a
co co n ut -- so r t o f po i nt y a n' al l ...
Coroner's report said he'd never seen
anythin' like it!... They thought they'd
found the missin' link!
MAL
Sounds fuckin' `orrible!
ARCHIE
Well, apparently not... women liked `im! --
Dunno if he got any -- but seemingly he
was quite the thing... Supposedly a right
laugh. `Ad a sense of humour -- well
you'd `ave to `ave really, wouldn't ya?!
MEREDITH
... An' this chap was a good dancer?
ARCHIE
`S wha t the y sai d -- n ifty! Reg ular
twinkletoes! A right Gene Kelly!... Sad
tho' -- top yourself like that... Over a
cat.
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 82.
75 CONTINUED: 75
MAL
... He must've loved it.
ARCHIE
Well a nimal s don 't di scrim inate , do
they?... To the cat, he was beautiful!
MAL
Did they bury them together?
ARCHIE
Now that I don't know... Be nice if they *
`ad... But it's all red tape, innit --
depends on the different by-laws...
MAL
...And what borough you live in!
They sit in silence... Eventually...
MAL (CONT'D)
(Rising)
...Well, come on then... this won't get the
washing done!
ARCHIE
Yeah, he's `ad long enough!
OMP
What's the pillock doin'?!
MEREDITH
(Jumping down from the piano)
My arse has gone to sleep!
ARCHIE
The ol' numb-bum?
MAL
(his ear t o the liv ing r oom
door)
...It's all gone a bit quiet in there...
ARCHIE
Whadya reckon?
MAL
Let's go in... fuck it!
OMP
`Ope to Christ he's done somethin'!
MEREDITH
Don't hold your breath!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 83.
75 CONTINUED: (2) 75
They enter the room...
CUT TO
76 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 76
The men file in... COLIN sits in one of the armchairs... LOVERBOY
sits with his head bowed...
MAL
What's been `appenin' then?
ARCHIE
We any further forward?
MAL
He's still with us I see...
ARCHIE
(Going to the cardboard box)
I'm `aving a beer... Who wants one?
MAL
Ill `ave one.
OMP
Nothin g's h appen ed! -- Why' s not hing
happened?! -- Don't you want your pound of
flesh?
ARCHIE
(Opening a can)
It's not looking like it!
OMP
Lord love a duck!... Fuck this!... I give
up!... Streuth! (sits)... Fucking baby!
Milksop!
MEREDITH
Had any thoughts, Col?
COLIN does not reply...
MAL
Col?
COLIN
...Eh?
ARCHIE
`Ad any thoughts?
COLIN
Thoughts?
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 84.
76 CONTINUED: 76
MAL
Yeah, thoughts!
COLIN
...One or two...
MEREDITH
Oh, yeah?... Like what?
COLIN
I'm letting him go.
OMP
Do what?!... You ain't!!
COLIN
It's my decision... That's my decision...
It's what I've decided.
OMP
Cobblers!
COLIN
Maybe.
OMP
Poppycock!
ARCHIE
No, it's his call!... It's your Col' call... *
`Col call'! -- `ark at me! -- I'm tired! *
MEREDITH
Lightweight!
ARCHIE
... Well an' truly cream crackered!
MAL
...So what are we saying'?... He's walkin'?...
COLIN
Yeah... He's free to go.
OMP
"Free to go"! "Free to go"!!... Why don't
you give `im a kiss goodnight as well,
while you're at it!... Let's `ave a whip-
round for the cunt!... I can hear Brighton
Billy spinnin' in his fuckin' grave!...
"Free to go"!!
ARCHIE
(Nudgi ng MA L, in dicat ing
LOVERBOY)
`Ere, he's listenin'... His ears are out on
stalks... He can't believe it!
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 85.
76 CONTINUED: (2) 76
MAL
It's not too late to change your mind,
Col!... Think about it... I'll do it for you
if you like... Freebie!
COLIN smiles...
MEREDITH
...And Liz... wherever she is... what about
her?... She free?
COLIN dips his head... bites his lip... sadly nods...
MEREDITH (CONT'D)
...Well, that's that then!
ARCHIE
He's a very lucky boy!... (To LOVERBOY )
You're a very lucky boy!... He fucking is!...
Very fortunate!
MAL
Well come on then... Do the honours, Col...
It's your party... Some of us `ave got
homes to go to!
OMP
I'm really upset about this!
Pause... COLIN stares at LOVERBOY... Stares... Stares... Then slowly
looks away... Eventually...
COLIN
You're free to go, mate.
LOVERBOY does not move... pause...
COLIN (CONT'D)
(Not looking at him)
You're free to go, mate.
LO VE R BO Y s hi ft s i n hi s s ea t ... OL D M AN P E AN UT s n or ts
derisively...
COLIN (CONT'D)
(Looks at Loverboy)
Go on...
LOVERBOY, with great difficulty, gets to his feet...
ARCHIE
Attaboy!
MAL
`S he finding his land-legs?
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 86.
76 CONTINUED: (3) 76
LOVERBOY struggles to walk... Shuffles on painful legs... The
black plastic bin bags trail around him...
MAL (CONT'D)
In your own time!
LOVERBOY, very slowly, begins to cross the room... But he is
not heading for the door... He is heading towards ARCHIE...
ARCHIE
What's this... The fuckin' Mummy?!
The men chuckle... LOVERBOY reaches ARCHIE and with extreme
gratitude he takes ARCHIE's hand...
MAL
Oh, he likes you! You're his favourite!
ARCHIE
(Ligh tly shak ing LOVERB OY's
hand)
Yeah, alright, mate... now fuck off `fore I
give you another slap!... Door's there,
look!...
LOVERBOY shuffles to the door...
MAL
Mind how you go!
OMP
`Ere you!...
LOVERBOY stops...
OMP (CONT'D)
Look at me...
LOVERBOY turns...
OMP (CONT'D)
Don't you go blabbing off, now, will ya?
LOVERBOY slowly shakes his head...
OMP (CONT'D)
Good boy... Now get out of my sight you
piece of shit!
LOVERBOY goes...
MAL
Close the door behind you!
Pause... Slowly the door is closed... The men sit in silence...
Eventually...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 87.
76 CONTINUED: (4) 76
MEREDITH
....So, Kittens, what're we up to?
MAL
Dunno... What you doin'?
MEREDITH
Me an' Peanut are off to The Clayton,
ain't we Pop?
OMP
Yerrr!
MEREDITH
You might like it.... Never know!
Slight pause...
OMP
D'they do grub there? I'm ready for my *
breakfast. *
MEREDITH
Do what you want.... Y'comin'?
OMP
...Yeah... why not?... Be an eye opener, won't
it?
ARCHIE
(Crushing his empty beer can)
...Right , we f or the off then? (To
MAL)... You want droppin' off?
MAL
Yeah... you stoppin' off for one?
ARCHIE
If you like!... Colin?
COLIN
(Deep in thought)
... I might catch you later, Arch... (to
the men)... I just wanna say.... Thanks...
ARCHIE
Ah, shutup! We'll be in the Old Bamboo
if you fancy one... Right, we're off then...
Cheerio!
The men all leave... We hear the front door closing... COLIN
sits there... Alone in the room... Sits there... *
He slowly gets up... Slowly puts his raincoat on... Goes to *
the door... Stops... Does not turn... We are on his back... His
head bowed...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 88.
76 CONTINUED: (5) 76
He goes...
We take in the empty room... See the open wardrobe... hear
the front door open...
CUT TO:
77 INT LOUD RED SPACE 77
OLD MAN PEANUT squaring up to use... Super-aggressive... Hyper-
cantankerous... Ultra-mean
OMP
(Direct to camera)
Two years later I was dead... I passed
away in the small hours in a nursing
`ome in Slough, with a drip in me arm,
me gnashers in a mug by the bed and me
boots most definitely on!... I'd done
me hip in the spring and couldn't cope
with meself no more at `ome, if you
must know... I died in a `orrible
fuckin' room they'd give me in the
midst of a bunch of doddery, decrepit,
dribbling old mongs!... Come the time,
this dragon-witch-bitch of a nurse,
arsked me if I wanted a fuckin'
priest?! To make my peace!... I arsk
you!!... I told `em where to get off!...
Told `em all to fuck off out of it and
leave me to meet my maker on my Jack
Todd!... I lay on my pit like a scabby *
baby and waited for it... waited for
it... waited for it to come... and get
me! It came alright... The Reaper
came, alright... in the middle of the
fucking night -- Like a burglar -- Like
a worry... I opened my milky mince's
and saw... saw Death... The ugly brute
of it... It's black mouth... it's cocky
eyes... `ungry like the wolf... for me!...
My time was up! I was wanted!...
"I'll break you", it said... "I'll
fucking' break you!"... I stared at it...
hissed at it... spat at it... I raised
myself up from the stainy cot with my
weak, bony arm... got myself in a proud
position -- my spine ramrod straight...
It was reaching for me... grabbing at
me... laughing at me... "FUCK YOU!", I
said... `FUUUCCKK YOOUU!!!!!"
CUT TO
89.
78 INT PURPLE SPACE 78
MEREDITH
(Direct to camera)
I've got a new boyfriend... I haven't
had a steady in years... He's black,
aged 21, beautiful... Works in the
city... Ray!... I love that name... Ray!...
Met him in a sauna... he looked at me --
I looked at him -- He looked at me...
that sort of thing. Just clicked... Got
talking... Learnt one or two things
about each other... he can't swim -- I
like cars, so on and so forth... Took
it from there... We've been together
three weeks now... Play it by ear...
(pause)... Yesterday... he went off to
work... I fancied a stroll... `opped on a
bus... Hyde Park and I'm walkin'...
Serpentine... Past the ducks... I see this
rowing boat... man rowin',.. He turns...
looks at me... still rowin'... It's him...
It's Ray... The boyfriend... We don't
acknowledge each other... and I just
carry on walking... (pause)... Is he a
liar or shouldn't I have been there?...
What d'you reckon?... I know what I
think!
CUT TO
79 INT AN AZURE BLUE SPACE 79
ARCHIE
(Direct to camera)
...I've met someone... Her names `Azel!...
I was a bit nervous at first... fear of
the unknown I s'pose... well you get set
in your ways, don't ya... anyway, I like
`er... like `er a lot- `s a nice feelin'
-- an' she says she likes me an'' all!
-- So you never know -- watch this
space!... And Mum an' her? -- Do they
get on?
He looks over his right shoulder... His POV...
Pink Revised 21st May 2008 90.
79 CONTINUED: 79
A vignette of his MUM and HAZEL (50) sitting on an old
sofa, drinking tea and chatting happily... Behind them on a
floral wallpapered wall is a painting -- Spanish/Woolworth's
style... Carmenesque... A wounded 18th Century soldier is
slumped in a chair being tended to by a wild, exotic,
gypsy, flamenco-type woman... Nearby, standing alarmed,
humiliated and cuckolded wearing a white frilly, puffy-
sleeved shirt, red breeches with a gold stripe, black
boots, is the shocked faced husband... These three
characters bearing an uncanny resemblance to guess who?...
C/U on ARCHIE as he turns back to look at us... (the vignette
has gone)...
ARCHIE (CONT'D)
(proud)
...They get on brilliantly!!... I'm
taking them to Ikea this afternoon...
(raises his eyebrows. Intimate with
us). Say a prayer for me!
CUT TO
80 INT MONOCHROME SPACE... GRAINY... SHADOWY... 80
We can just see part of MAL... His face half in shadow... He
is looking at us... Edgy... Defensive... Dodgy... He slips into the
shadows... Is gone...
CUT TO
81 INT ROOM IN DERELICT HOUSE NIGHT 81 *
CUT *
82 EXT. STREET OUTSIDE HOUSE. 82
COLIN emerges onto the street... Closes the door behind
him... We move in on his brave/sad face as he gazes up at
the old, bluey, London sky, and says to Liz's spirit...
COLIN
(Humbled. Accepting. Very
quiet)
Be lucky, Liz.
Slowly he begins to walk the wet street... Away from us...
Towards his new life...
THE END
44 Inch Chest
Writers : Louis Mellis David Scinto
Genres : Crime Drama
User Comments
Back to IMSDb
| screenplays |
Dragon Age The Lost Origin
Six Origin stories that made it to the final cut of the game, but at least two were scrapped at the drawing board. The Human Commoner Origin was developed pretty far, and even shows up in one of the demo videos, but it didn't make the game. The Human Barbarian Origin, on the other hand, was one that was dropped early, but the background of the Avvar Barbarians still exists in the game. Using what little legend and backstory I could from the game and a lot of my own creation, I am bringing the Barbarian Origin to life.
* * *
"The Frostback Mountain Range is the one of the harshest places in Fereldan, if not all of Thedas. They are considered inhospitable, and yet, a small few still make their home here. You live amongst a small clan of the hardy Avvar barbarians. Strength is necessary to survive in the Frostbacks, so you often spend your days training with your brother. In this ever-changing environment, stability is an unknown, and resilience determines life or death."
Wind howls as it whips through the pine trees. Cold air and ice nips at the faces of two barbarians. The snow crunches under their boots. The two welcome the freezing breeze, silently thanking Hakkon for his blessing in their hunt. They move swiftly through the forest, familiar with every tree, every rock, and every corner of the Frostbacks. Their fur and leather clothing allows them to blend with the forest. Ahead of them, a large buck grazes on a small amount of foliage. The male barbarian unsheathes his dagger, while the female steadies her bow. She pulls back the arrow, and carefully took aim. No mistakes can be made. One missed shot would alert the deer, causing it to flee. That would mean the clan goes with another meal. Anything less than perfection is unacceptable. It is harsh, but so are the Frostbacks. The female slowly inhales, and as she exhales, her fingers release the arrow. It soars, cutting through the frozen air. The arrowhead buries deep into the buck's hindquarters. It makes a pained noise. As it turns to flee, it is cut off by the male barbarian, who pounced on the creature like a mountain cat and slashed its neck with his dagger. Blood stains the snow, as the male begins to gut the deer.
"Excellent work Kyla. Korth blessed us today." He smiled up at the female.
"Yes, the clan will be happy with this hunt. This buck might last a few meals, you think Rykus?" Kyla sat down in the snow next to her brother. He laughed softly,
"Not if Father gets his hands on it." Kyla smiled at the jest at their pot-bellied father. Rykus looked over at her, and his smile dropped to a more serious face.
"You have become very skilled with bow and dagger, bayna." He said, using an Avvar pet-name. "You are better than most of the warriors in the clan." Rykus smiled proudly at his younger sister and clapped her on the back. A lock of brown hair fell into her face. Rykus scratched at his short beard. They fell into a content silence, as Rykus continued to clean the deer. Kyla closed her eyes and breathed in the chilled air, taking in the forest. A soft crack of a twig came from behind the barbarians. Kyla jumped to her feet, swirling and drawing her bow in one motion. A dark-skinned, bearded man stood before her. The long black cloak he wore did not hide his shining armor, or his weapons. He held up his hands in surrender, but Kyla did not lower her weapon. Rykus pointed his still bloody dagger at the man.
"You do not belong here Denath!" He barked. The man's face screwed up in confusion.
"Denath?" He asked, his voice soft and without fear.
"It is Avvar for mainlanders, and we don't take kindly to them. Who are you, and what is your business so far into the Frostbacks?" Kyla asked as her aim never wavered. The man crossed his arms over his chest, a common Fereldan greeting.
"My name is Duncan. I am a Grey Warden. I have come here to talk to your leader." Rykus moved closer, still holding out his dagger.
"For what purpose?" He growled.
"That is my business." Duncan replied sternly. Rykus finally lowered his dagger, but did not remove the glare from his eyes.
"Fine. We will bring you to the Agor, but if you bring bad tidings Denath, I will have your head." He threatened. Duncan nodded.
"I assure you, that will not be necessary." Rykus picked up the buck and heaved it over his shoulder. He led the group back to the village. Kyla hung back, just behind Duncan, watching him with one hand ready for her sword. Duncan caught her gaze.
"May I ask you a question?" He asked softly. Kyla only nodded. "This man spoke of the Agor. I assume that is Avvar for your leader?"
"Yes, but the Agor is not just our leader. He is our healer too, a shaman. I believe the Denath call his kind an… apostate?" Kyla replied.
"He's a mage? I did not expect that." Duncan said, shock clear on his face.
"Oh? Why not?" Kyla asked.
"The Avvar are known for their prowess as warriors. I simply assumed your leader would also be a warrior."
"You are not entirely wrong. The Agor does not use his magic much in battle, as I said he is a healer, nothing more. The Agor is a great warrior as well. Do mages in the mainland not fight?" She asked curiously.
"Mages of old used to, the Arcane Warriors. But there are few, if any remaining." Duncan explained to the young Avvar. The mainland was such a strange and interesting land, but certainly not a place for the barbarian. Duncan was an exception to the Denath, most treated the Avvar as if they were no more than the beasts that share the Frostbacks with them.
The group reached the end of the path, as the forest opened out to the village. Small, moss and snow covered buildings circled the opening. In the center of the village stood three tall statues, symbolizing the three Avvar gods, Korth the Mountain-Father, Hakkon Wintersbreath, and the Lady of the Skies. The three statues circled around a training ring, where young barbarians were play fighting with wooden swords. A few villagers walked about, all clad in similar fur and leather clothing, each carrying a weapon. They all watched as the two Avvar led the foreign man through the village. It was clear they distrusted strangers.
Rykus walked up to one house that was decorated with furs and gems obviously found in the mountain. He pushed back the fur that replaced a door. The three walked in, and before them sat the Agor. He was an elderly man, but his strength was evident. He wore thick leather armor and a bear skin, which was draped like a cloak. He carried a battleaxe that was clearly of dwarven-make. He bowed his head towards the group, then scratched his white beard as he observed Duncan.
"What can I do for you stranger?" He asked, his voice gruff. Duncan greeted him in his usual gesture.
"I wish to speak to you in private, if at all possible." Duncan replied, and the Agor looked to the siblings, motioning his head to the doorway. They took their leave and re-entered the cold air. Rykus brought the deer carcass to the cooks of the clan. They smiled widely at the buck, gracious for another meal. The siblings walked through the town, greeting their clan-mates. Every house in the village was made to be easily and quickly disassembled and moved. The winds changed often in the mountains, and the Avvar had to be prepared for wherever it would carry them, and whatever it threw at them. Rykus pushed the door open to their family hut.
"Father we are back!" He called as they entered their home. Father poked his head around the corner of one room.
"My children!" He smiled as he moved to pull them both into a hug. Kyla giggled as her father's beard tickled her face. "How was your hunt?" He asked.
"Successful Father. You should have seen your daughter. She is becoming quite the archer." Rykus took a seat as he talked. Father's face brightened.
"Aye? And the bow isn't even your weapon of choice." He spoke proudly. Kyla laughed.
"No, Father. I much prefer close combat. To look my opponent in the eye before I kill him." She said, swinging an invisible weapon for effect. He laughed, his deep voice booming.
"Your mother was the same way, my daughter." He said, pulling her into another hug. Rykus smirked from his seat.
"It's a wonder you can even pick up the weapons you use Bayna. The greatswords and battleaxes are just as large as you." Rykus laughed. Kyla made a face at him in jest.
"Now, now, you two. Rykus, surely you remember the tale of the Ptarmigan?" Father started. Rykus groaned loudly.
"How can we forget? You've told us this tale thousands of times." He complained. "Hell, you call Kyla your 'Little Ptarmigan.'" Kyla felt a small blush burn her cheeks.
"Good, then you can start." Father ignored his whining. Rykus sighed deeply.
"A long long time ago, Korth…took his heart out…or something." He stumbled. Father shook his head.
"When the world was still young, Korth, our Mountain-Father, sat atop his throne at the peak of the Belenas, the mountain at the center of the land. He watched down on the people across the world, watched as strong men became weak, brave men grew cowardly, and wise men turned foolish for love." He restarted for Rykus, and then looked to Kyla. She took over the next part.
"Korth saw this as a weakness, and removed his own heart to prevent it from betraying him. He sealed it in a golden cask, buried it, and created the most dangerous and fierce mountains around it. These mountains are our Frostbacks. Korth, without a heart, grew bitter like the winter wind. He created avalanches and earthquakes to torture the people. Everyone thought Korth to be a tyrant, and gods and mortals alike tried to rise up against him, but without a heart he could not be killed. The Lady of the Skies sent her children to search for Korth's heart, but even the greatest and swiftest bird came up empty."
"Then the tiny Ptarmigan spoke up. She said she would retrieve the Mountain-Father's heart. The other birds laughed at the notion. The ptarmigan was too tiny, they thought, and preferred hopping on the ground to flying. The Lady of the Skies could not give the tiny bird her blessing, because not even the strongest fliers could handle the mountains. But the Ptarmigan set off anyways." Father took over, smiling softly at his daughter, "When the Ptarmigan could not fly, she walked, enduring the worst winter winds. She made it to the valley where the god's great heart beat, but the tiny bird could not lift it, for it was too full from Korth's terrible deeds. So the Ptarmigan pushed it, inch by inch, through the valley and off a cliff. The golden cask broke, and the pain of the heart's fullness aroused Korth's attention. As he neared his heart, it leapt back into his chest and he was once again whole. Hakkon Wintersbreath bound Korth's chest with three bands of iron and three of ice, so it could never be removed again. The Ptarmigan was honored above even the noblest of eagles." Father finished.
"Thank you Father." Kyla said smiling. Rykus groaned.
"Yes, thank you. Now we've heard it a thousand and one too many times."
"There are many lessons to be learned from that tales Rykus." Father scoffed. "Even the small can be strong."
"Korth believed our hearts were a weakness. He learned that acting without a heart is the true weakness, for we are not whole without it." Kyla added.
"Very true, my Ptarmigan." Father beamed, mussing up her brown hair, causing the few dreads to bounce about. Just then, a scream cut through the village. The family ran out from their home to find the source. A group of five, heavily armored men had emerged from the trees. A woman ran by, her startled screams continuing on. Rykus unsheathed his sword, and Kyla pulled out her greatsword, as they walked up to the men. The group tried to press on, but two more Avvar grabbed their weapons and joined the siblings.
"Move aside, barbarians! We will not hesitate to kill you too." The leader barked.
"Men, men! What is the issue here!" A smooth voice came from behind. Kyla turned and saw Duncan heading towards the scene. He placed himself in between the Avvar and the men.
"Do you templars have a reason for being here?" He asked. The leader stepped up to Duncan.
"There is an apostate here, Warden. We have been hunting him for months." He explained, but Duncan did not move.
"I have met this man you speak of, Templar. He is no maleficar, he is not a threat."
"He is an apostate! His very existence is a threat." The templar argued.
"He is a healer, and a leader to these people." Duncan reasoned. The templar scoffed,
"I care not about these beasts, Warden. The apostate has the potential to become an abomination, you know that!"
"And the abomination would not make if off the Frostbacks alive, or out of this village. Nor will you, if you attempt to kill this man, but I cannot and will not stop you for doing your duty. Do not expect the same from the Avvar." Duncan advised, and then moved out of the way. The templar sneered and ordered his men forward.
Rykus growled as the men tried to pass. He swung his sword and plunged it deep into the stomach of the closest templar. Another templar grabbed his sword and brought it down upon Rykus. He barely managed to pull up his own sword to block the attack. A few Avvar turned and ran to the Agor's hut, leaving only Rykus, Kyla, and the two others to stop the attack. Kyla brought up her greatsword to stop an oncoming attack. She pivoted and brought around the giant sword, crashing it into the weak spots in the templar's armor. A crack of bone resounded beside Kyla, as her clans-mate was struck down. She felt a twinge of anger grip her heart, but pushed it away and kept fighting. The other Avvar managed to kill another templar before being slain himself.
Kyla backed away slightly. There was still three templars standing, and only she and Rykus left fighting. Rykus gave her a small smile before rushing in at the leader. Kyla defended herself against the templar that slashed at her. Out of the corner of her eye, Kyla saw the templar leader bash Rykus with his shield, knocking him to the ground. The leader raised his sword and brought it down into Rykus's chest. The sword could have pierced Kyla chest, because she felt a similar pain tear through her very core. Rage erupted from within. She twirled her sword in her hands and stabbed it into the templar's stomach. The other templar moved towards her and was met by the end of her blade, slicing through his armor as if it was parchment instead of steel.
The templar leader sneered at Kyla as she faced him. She whipped her blade to her side and the blood of the fallen flew off of it. She then charged the leader, bringing her sword down on him, but he blocked with his shield. She gracefully dodged the swing of his sword. She thrust her blade forward, finding a weak point in the armor. The templar groaned in pain as the sword exited his body. His hand hesitated for just a moment as he had to suppress the instinct to clutch the wound. This moment was just long enough for Kyla to pivot and swipe at the templar's neck, making a clean cut. His sword fell to the ground in a clatter, followed shortly by his body.
Kyla's chest heaved in heavy breaths. A pair of hands fell upon her shoulders softly. She turned and saw her father looking down at her sorrowfully. At the sight of him, she broke and fell into his arms, tears falling freely. Slowly, the other members of the small Avvar clan emerged from their homes to view the damage. Kyla pushed herself from her father's arms and looked across the village to see the Agor and Duncan watching the scene. She walked over and acknowledged them with a bow of her head.
"I am very sorry for what happened." Duncan said, his voice truly apologetic, "I tried to warn the templars, but they are nearly impossible to stop once they have found an apostate." Kyla cast a glace back at the slain bodies.
"They obviously can be stopped." She muttered.
"Yes, for a time, but more will come."
"And next time we will be prepared." The Agor reassured. He then wrapped an arm around Kyla, "Duncan has an offer for you bayna, one you should seriously consider."
"I am recruiting for the Grey Wardens. There is an army of darkspawn growing to the south and we need the most skilled warriors to battle it. You just took on three experienced templars by yourself and survived without a scratch, which is much more than many people can say. The Wardens would benefit greatly from your joining." Duncan explained. The Agor smiled down on Kyla.
"The Wardens are very well respected, bayna. And our dwarven allies have been fighting the darkspawn underground for many centuries."
"Avvar battle training comes directly from the dwarven warriors. If there is anyone on the surface best prepared to fight the darkspawn, it is you." Duncan added. Kyla closed her eyes, absorbing the information. Leaving her clan was unthinkable; it was all she had ever known. She glanced back over and saw her clans-mates cleaning the fallen bodies. Rykus would probably want her to do it. "The honor, the glory…" He would have said. Kyla looked back to Duncan.
"I will join you, but I cannot leave yet." He nodded knowingly.
"I understand. We will leave after the funeral."
****
The next day, the three bodies of the slain Avvar lay in the center of the village, wrapped in cloths. The Agor sang an old Avvar hymn as he lit the cloths on fire. Kyla stared hard at Rykus's body in the middle. She held back the tears that burned to be shed. This was a warrior's funeral, and she would damn well act like a warrior. Smoke rose from the fire high into the air, and was blown about by the cold breeze.
"Korth accept these bodies back into the mountain. Hakkon accept their breath into the wind. Lady of the Skies accept their souls into your heavens." The Agor blessed the dead, touching his hand to his forehand, and then clapping it to his chest, over his heart. The clan followed the motion. The fire would continue to blaze for the rest of the day in mourning.
Kyla found Duncan watching the ceremony from a distance. She walked up to him.
"The Avvar have beautiful ceremonies." He commented.
"Death should be as blessed as a birth. It is a beginning of a new life." Kyla said plainly. She didn't honestly feel as though her brother was blessed to die. Rage still nested in her heart like a fire. Her father joined the group.
"Kyla, my Ptarmigan." He sighed. "This is a hard day for me. I lose my first son, and now my daughter."
"I am leaving father, I will not be gone forever." Kyla reassured him.
"Still. I want you to have this. It is a family battleaxe passed down for many generations. It was going to be a gift for you when you wed, but hopefully it will bring good fortune to your new future." He held out the axe. It was an elegant and ancient Avvar craft, supplemented by touches of dwarven design. Engraved in the handle was her clan's mark, a symbol resembling wings. The same mark that Kyla bore, tattooed on her face, forever reminding her and the world where she came from. Kyla graciously took the weapon, and gave her father a final hug goodbye. She then turned to Duncan who stretched out his arm, showing the path ahead of her.
* * *
This is just the Origin story, but if you liked it review and let me know. If people like the idea, then I'll continue on to the rest of the game. ~amante
End file.
| fanfiction |
What does periodicity of $e^{-iHt/\hbar}$ mean in physical terms?
The unitary time evolution operator $U(t)=e^{-iHt/\hbar}$ has some distinct flavour of periodicity to it because of $e^{x+2\pi i}=e^x$.
Is this periodicity reflected in any way in physical systems? Does it have any physical meaning?
(Sorry for a rookie question. In case this is too simple for this site, tell me where to migrate it.)
The operator, as you say, seems to evoke periodicity, but this is in general illusory, aside from when the quantum system has energy eigenstates whose energies are rational number multiples of one another. The quantum harmonic oscillator is a simple example of this, indeed one of the very few possible examples when we talk about countably infinite dimensional (separable) quantum state spaces. I discuss the special nature of the quantum harmonic oscillator in [my answer here](https://physics.stackexchange.com/a/90078/26076).
As the notation correctly implies, the time variation of each energy eigenstate *is* the time harmonic function $\exp\left(-i\,\frac{E}{\hbar}\,t\right)$. But if there are two or more of these eigenfunctions present, a linear superposition of them can only be harmonic *if all the energies are rational number multiples of one another*. To understand this statement, think of the two eigenstate superposition: $A\,exp(-i\alpha\,t) + B\,\exp(-i\beta\,t)$. This comes back to its beginning value only if $exp(-i\alpha\,t) = \exp(-i\beta\,t) = 1$ which can only be so if $\beta\,t = 2 b \pi;\,\alpha\,t = 2 a \pi$ for $a,\,b\in\mathbb{N}$. Otherwise put, $\alpha / \beta = a/b$, so the ratio must be rational.
A wonderful way to picture this is to think of the quantum state space as the torus: the Cartesian product of two circles. Trajectories through time for a superposition of the two eigenstates are helices that wind themselves around the torus like a wire on a toroidal inductor. If the eigenfrequencies are rationally related, the trajectory meets up with itself and a periodic cycle follows. If not, the thread winding around the torus never gets back to its beginning point and indeed the trajectory is *dense on the torus*! As the ratio becomes "less rational" *i.e.* $a/b$ in its standard form (with all cancelations done) becomes the ratio of bigger and bigger numbers, the period becomes longer and longer.
Now if you add into the mix many eigenfrequencies, all of which can be irrationally related, you can see that pretty quickly the superposition is going to become highly complicated and all likeness of periodicity will vanish, aside from for special cases like the QHO.
Although unitarity is necessary for conservation of the norm, indeed there is some periodicity ingraved in its form.
For time-invariant bounded systems (the Hamiltonian does not depend on time and has a discrete, or at least non-dense number of eigenstates) there is always a recurrence time $\tau\_r$ after which the state of the system is again the initial state (or as close as you can measure it).
The simpler quantum system that you can imagine, a two-level system, can be represented as a point on the surface of a sphere, moving at constant speed along a circle (for time-invariant Hamiltonians). It will obviously revisit the inital state periodically. More complex systems (but bounded and time-invariant) described by n-level Hamiltonians also revisit the initial state following richer dynamics. You can google for information under the name of revival (and partial revival) times.
If you think carefully, there is nothing surprising about it. Similar phenomena is also found in Classical Physics under the name of Poincaré recurrence time. Stable systems tend to be periodic or quasi-periodic. This has helped their study and the birth of Physics since the early days. However, as the complexity of the system increases, or in other words, as the number of eigenstates that participate in the dynamics is larger, so it will be the recurrence time, which eventually may be larger than the time related to the inverse of the precision of the Hamiltonian eigenstates, or in other words, larger than the time disposed to follow or measured the system. In fact for most physical systems the recurrence time is clearly unphysical. This is also reflected in the fact that for increasingly complex systems it becomes harder to guarantee that they are discrete and time-invariant, or closed, or isolated.
A nice example is the harmonic oscillator, where we see that the periodicity of the operator just corresponds to the periodicity of the motion.
For a harmonic oscillator the hamiltonian is
\begin{equation}
\hat H = \frac{\hat{\mathbf p}^2}{2m} + \frac{1}{2} m \omega^2 \hat{\mathbf x}^2.
\end{equation}
and the stationary solutions can for example be written $\left| n \right>$ with eigenvalues
\begin{equation}
E\_n = \hbar \omega \left( \frac{1}{2} + n \right) .
\end{equation}
Let us now look at the time evolution of e.g. the state $\left| 0 \right> = \left| n = 0 \right>$. In this case we get
\begin{equation}
\left| \psi\_0 (t) \right> = e^{i \hat H t / \hbar} \left| 0 \right> = e^{i \omega t / 2} \left| 0 \right> ,
\end{equation}
where we see that the periodicity of the operator gives rise to the a periodic motion of the oscillator (or, perhaps more correctly, the phase of the wave function of the oscillator).
The first thing that comes to mind is the fact that energy eigenstates have a periodic phase factor, $e^{iEt/\hbar}$. In general we usually say that states are defined up to a phase factor, so for a single particle in an energy eigenstate we can ignore it, but this phase factor can manifest physically when you have a state which is a superposition of energy eigenstates, each with its own oscillating phase. A simple example of this which actually results in periodic behavior would be a spin-$1/2$ particle in a magnetic field. Such a system will have a Hamiltonian proportional to the Pauli spin matrix $\sigma\_z$. So our time-evolution operator is $U(t) = e^{i\omega \sigma\_z t}$. Recall that the Pauli matrices are idempotent, so when we Taylor expand this we can group our terms together and we will find
\begin{equation}
U(t) = \cos\left(\omega t\right)+ i\sigma\_z \sin\left(\omega t\right)
\end{equation}
For eigenstates of $\sigma\_z$ this isn't particularly interesting. The $\sigma\_z$ will give us just a + for $\vert \uparrow \rangle$ or a - for $\vert \downarrow \rangle$ and of course the modulus of the state won't change but it will have a time-oscillating phase factor. Instead let's think about a superposition of such eigenstates, like $\vert \psi \rangle \equiv\frac{1}{2}\left(\vert \uparrow \rangle + \vert \downarrow \rangle\right)$.
\begin{equation}
\begin{split}
U(t) \vert \psi \rangle = \frac{1}{2}\cos\left(\omega t\right)\vert \left(\vert \uparrow \rangle + \vert \downarrow \rangle\right) + \frac{i}{2} \sin\left(\omega t\right) \left(\vert \uparrow \rangle - \vert \downarrow \rangle\right) \\
= \frac{1}{2} e^{i\omega t} \vert \uparrow \rangle + \frac{1}{2} e^{-i \omega t} \vert \downarrow \rangle
\end{split}
\end{equation}
Not incidentally, this state was chosen to have a spin of $+\hbar/2$ along the $x$ direction, but we can see in the above equation that when we evolve it in time we reach a point where it will have spin $-\hbar/2$ along the $x$ direction, when $\cos(\omega t) = 0$ and $\sin(\omega t) = 1$, so the expectation value of the $x$ spin of this particle is periodic.
Because the Hamiltonian operator is Hermitian by assumption, it can be diagonalized and the operator exponential can be rewritten as a manageable Taylor series, but this nice periodic form only works because the square of our Hamiltonian is proportional to the identity matrix, so we could group terms in the Taylor expansion to give us a cosine multiplied by the identity and a sine multiplied by the $\sigma\_z$ operator. In general this procedure does not work out quite as nicely, but you can always think about the interference of the phase factors I mentioned in the first paragraph.
You will probably find it is connected to photons that could excite it, similar to the photo-electric effect.
But in the main, the solution to a particular problem is a wave equation as well as a particle. In the case of electron microscopes, electrons behave as waves, based on a term $\exp(imc^2/hf)$, which allows us to see very small detail.
In essence, from what i read on google, it is connected to Schrodinger's equation. This is the wave-model of a particle trapped in a potential well, such as an electron or whatever.
One of the references i found connects the time operator with spin. But the $H$ operator is a kind of mathematical beast that is beyond by ken.
| stackexchange/physics |
This is a list of first-level administrative country subdivisions by Punjabi speakers in the world.
__TOC__
First-level list
See also
List of country subdivisions by population
List of the largest country subdivisions by area
Population density
List of cities in the Punjab region by population
States and union territories of India by Punjabi speakers
Provinces and territories of Canada by Punjabi speakers
Countries of the United Kingdom by Punjabi speakers
Notes
References
External links
City Population
Category:Demographic lists
Country subdivisions
most populous
Population
Category:Punjabi language
Category:Punjabi language-related lists | wikipedia |
since its launch in 1991 , the egret instrument on the _ compton gamma ray observatory _ ( cgro ) has detected with high significance 51 agns as emitters of high energy @xmath4-rays ( mukherjee et al .
these sources all appear to be members of the blazar class of agns ( von montigny et al .
1995a ) , containing bl lac objects , highly polarized quasars ( hpq ) , and optically violent variable ( ovv ) quasars . in the radio
these agns are radio - loud and flat - spectrum ( radio spectral index @xmath5 ) .
the @xmath4-ray emission from these sources has notable properties , including high @xmath4-ray flux that in many of the sources dominates the flux at lower energies , and rapid variability on timescales of a few days or less ( e.g. von montigny et al .
the high @xmath4-ray flux and rapid time variability have been used to argue that the @xmath4-ray emission must be relativistically beamed ; if not , the @xmath4-ray emission would be attenuated by pair - production optical depth .
significant doppler beaming factors for egret sources have been derived by this method by e.g. mattox et al .
( 1993 ) and dondi & ghisellini ( 1995 ) . in the relativistic beaming model ,
the @xmath4-ray sources are strongly beamed and should display certain distinct properties when imaged with vlbi , including apparent superluminal motion of jet components , a high degree of core dominance , and jets which are strongly bent by projection effects .
some of the egret sources had been well monitored with vlbi before their detection by egret , and they did indeed display these properties .
proper motion measurements for 13 egret sources are listed by vermeulen & cohen ( 1994 ) , hereafter vc94 .
the measured apparent velocities of these sources are all superluminal ( provided the redshift of 0716 + 714 is above 0.28 ) , with the exceptions of 0458 - 020 , 1127 - 145 , and cta 102 .
vlbi observations of other sources have been spurred by their egret detections , and superluminal motion has recently been reported in 0420 - 014 ( wagner et al .
1995 ) , 0528 + 134 ( krichbaum et al . 1995 ; pohl et al .
1995 ) , 0954 + 658 and 1219 + 285 ( gabuzda et al .
1994 ) , 1633 + 382 ( barthel et al . 1995 ) , and 1730 - 130 ( bower et al . 1997 ) .
a campaign to monitor the southern egret sources with vlbi is underway , with first results reported by tingay et al .
( 1996 ) .
the fact that many of the egret sources were relatively obscure until their detection by egret indicates that , despite the recent concentration on vlbi observations of egret sources , there remain many @xmath4-ray sources which have not been well studied with vlbi . to the best of our knowledge , before this study
there were 21 egret sources with published vlbi proper motion measurements ( many of which were not of high reliability ( vc94 ) ) , leaving 30 egret sources which had not been studied with vlbi at multiple epochs .
some of these sources had been imaged or had had a vlbi intensity measurement made , but proper motion studies had not been published .
the study of which this paper is a part has attempted to examine as many egret sources as possible which had not been previously well observed with vlbi , using the geodetic vlbi database of the washington vlbi correlator located at the u.s .
naval observatory ( usno ) .
reports have already been published of the measurement of superluminal motion in the quasar 1611 + 343 ( piner & kingham 1997a , hereafter paper i ) and the measurement of a more standard superluminal velocity for the quasar 1156 + 295 ( piner & kingham 1997b , hereafter paper ii ) , which had previously had a much larger measured superluminal velocity than any other source ( mchardy et al .
1993 , 1990 ) .
detailed observations of three more sources are presented in this paper . a study such as this has several potential benefits .
it is important to understand why some of the sources sharing the common characteristics of egret blazars have not been detected in @xmath4-rays .
one possible reason is that the @xmath4-ray emission may be more narrowly beamed than the radio emission ( von montigny et al .
other possible reasons include intrinsic differences between the sources and long timescale variability of the @xmath4-ray emission .
vlbi measurements of such things as apparent superluminal motion can provide information on important quantities such as the angle of the jet to the line - of - sight , and can help to address this question .
high - resolution vlbi observations can also potentially discern any effects of @xmath4-ray flares on the jet structure .
this study also demonstrates the usefulness of archival geodetic vlbi data for astrophysics .
several authors have used geodetic vlbi data for astrophysical purposes .
all imageable sources in a single geodetic experiment were imaged by charlot ( 1990 ) , and geodetic vlbi images have been presented in papers on the individual sources 0528 + 134 ( krichbaum et al .
1995 , pohl et al .
1995 ) , oj287 ( vicente , charlot , & sol 1996 ) , 4c 39.25 ( alberdi et al . 1993 ; fey , eubanks , & kingham 1997 ) , 3c273 ( charlot 1993 ) , 3c345 ( tang , rnnng , & bth 1989 ) , and bl lac ( tateyama et al . 1998 ) .
schalinski et al .
( 1993 ) and britzen et al .
( 1994 ) discussed a large - scale project to image many geodetic vlbi sources over many experiments .
the study of which this paper is a part has a similar large - scale scope , with over one hundred images of six egret sources having been studied in detail ( piner 1998 ) .
using archival geodetic vlbi data has several advantages .
many sources are observed very frequently , allowing for excellent time sampling .
the archive extends back to 1986 , allowing for an approximate ten - year time baseline for most sources .
many of these sources were not observed by the astronomical vlbi community until after their announcement as egret sources in at least 1991 .
we discuss the selection of the individual sources studied in this paper in @xmath6 [ sources ] , the archived geodetic vlbi observations in @xmath6 [ observations ] , the motions of the individual jet components in @xmath6 [ motion ] , and astrophysical implications of these results in @xmath6 [ discussion ] .
we use @xmath1 km s@xmath2 mpc@xmath2 , @xmath3=0.5 , and the flux @xmath7 throughout the paper .
for this study , we wished to find egret sources which had many good observations in the usno geodetic vlbi database and had not had vlbi proper motion measurements published .
for the list of egret sources , we used the 43 strong detections of agns given in the second egret catalog ( thompson et al .
1995 ) and the catalog supplement ( thompson et al . 1996 ) .
we also included four sources 3c66a , cta 26 , 1622 - 297 , and 2155 - 304 for which new results gave significant enough detections that there was little doubt they would be included as strong detections in future lists ( hartman 1996 , private communication ) .
these four sources are indeed included , along with four other new sources , in the recent list in mukherjee et al .
( 1997 ) .
observations of 700 galactic and extragalactic sources are included in the usno geodetic vlbi database from the beginning of the program in 1986 until 1996 november .
of the 47 egret sources considered , 39 had at least one observation in the database .
of these , 26 had at least one observation with the necessary @xmath8 plane coverage to make an image , and 20 of these had been observed often enough and well enough to produce a series of images .
nine of these 20 sources already had reliable vlbi proper motion measurements published .
the remaining 11 sources were 0202 + 149 , 0208 - 512 , 0235 + 164 , cta 26 , 0537 - 441 , 1156 + 295 , 1510 - 089 , 1606 + 106 , 1611 + 343 , 1622 - 253 , and 1739 + 522 .
two of these sources , 0208 - 512 and 0537 - 441 , are being studied by tingay et al .
( 1996 ) , and we have already presented results on 1611 + 343 and 1156 + 295 in papers i and ii respectively . of the remaining seven sources , we present detailed time series of 0202 + 149 , cta 26 , and 1606 + 106 in this paper , and we have also produced some images of 0235 + 164 , 1622 - 253 , and 1739 + 522 .
the vlbi observations used in this paper are from archived geodetic mark iii vlbi observations processed at the washington vlbi correlator facility located at the u.s . naval observatory ( usno ) .
the background details of this archival data and the reduction techniques are described in paper i. as discussed in paper i , some images have been formed by combining data from several geodetic vlbi experiments close together in time .
this can be done as long as there is negligible change in the observable source structure over the time span of the summed observations , which is true for all observations that were combined for this paper .
when experiments were combined , the aips task dbcon was used to combine them as separate subarrays .
a total of 40 different antennas were used among all of the imaged observations presented in this paper , with a maximum of 11 being used for a single experiment .
the individual geodetic vlbi experiments used to image 0202 + 149 , cta 26 , and 1606 + 106 are listed in table [ obslog ] .
when two or more experiments are listed at the same epoch , then these experiments were combined to produce an image at this epoch . when this was done the time coordinate used for that epoch
was defined to be the average of the times of the individual observations , weighted by the number of measured visibilities per observation .
we have observations over an approximate seven - year time baseline for 0202 + 149 , a three - year time baseline for cta 26 , and a five - year time baseline for 1606 + 106 .
the source 0202 + 149 was imaged at 11 epochs at both 8 and 2 ghz , for a total of 22 images of this source .
similarly , 16 and 24 images were produced of cta 26 and 1606 + 106 respectively .
a total of 60 geodetic vlbi experiments were analyzed to produce the 62 images of these three sources .
.observation log of geodetic vlbi experiments used [ cols="^,^,^,^,^,^,^,^,^,^ " , ] table 4 ( cont . ) : gaussian models + c c c c c c c c c c c c & & & frequency & @xmath9 & @xmath10 & @xmath11 & pa & @xmath12 & @xmath13 & & @xmath14 + source & epoch & component & ( ghz ) & ( jy ) & ( mas ) & ( mas ) & ( deg ) & ( deg ) & ( mas ) & @xmath15 & ( deg ) + & & c4 & 8 & 0.15 & 1.46 & 0.11 & -50.2 & 5.8 & 0.39 & 1.00 & ... + & & c1 & 2 & 0.05 & 8.01 & 0.43 & -37.4 & 3.7 & 1.46 & 1.00 & ... + & f1 & c3 & 8 & 0.03 & 2.35 & 0.44 & -29.9 & 7.9 & 1.01 & 1.00 & ... + & & c1 & 8 & 0.01 & 8.05 & 0.41 & -39.1 & 2.6 & 1.68 & 0.96 & 62.6 + & & & 2 & 0.07 & 8.44 & 1.54 & -35.5 & 8.6 & 4.52 & 0.33 & -33.8 + & 9 & c0 & 8 & 1.26 & ... & ... & ... & ... & 0.32 & 0.30 & -69.8 + & & c5 & 8 & 0.11 & 0.55 & 0.14 & -66.9 & 17.4 & 0.11 & 1.00 & ... + & & c4 & 8 & 0.10 & 1.14 & 0.14 & -60.5 & 8.5 & 0.65 & 0.10 & 59.5 + & & c3 & 8 & 0.05 & 1.97 & 0.15 & -36.1 & 4.6 & 0.88 & 1.00 & ... + & & c1 & 2 & 0.07 & 7.02 & 0.53 & -39.7 & 4.9 & 1.10 & 1.00 & ...
+ & 10 & c0 & 8 & 0.74 & ... & ... & ... & ... & 0.22 & 1.00 & ... + & & c5 & 8 & 0.12 & 0.58 & 0.21 & -70.1 & 23.3 & ... & ... & ... + & & c4 & 8 & 0.06 & 1.34 & 0.27 & -45.6 & 8.1 & 0.22 & 1.00 & ... + & & c1 & 2 & 0.08 & 7.55 & 1.22 & -33.7 & 4.9 & 4.25 & 0.25 & -87.8 + & f3 & c0 & 15 & 0.84 & ... & ... & ... & ... & 0.43 & 0.65 & -68.4 + & & c5 & 15 & 0.11 & 0.59 & 0.23 & -48.6 & 31.2 & 0.96 & 0.41 & 32.7 + & & c4 & 15 & 0.06 & 1.51 & 0.23 & -46.0 & 13.1 & 0.57 & 1.00 & ... + & 11 & c0 & 8 & 1.23 & ... & ... & ... & ... & 0.31 & 0.37 & -67.3 + & & c5 & 8 & 0.21 & 0.60 & 0.12 & -61.9 & 14.6 & 0.40 & 0.18 & 27.9 + & & c4 & 8 & 0.12 & 1.48 & 0.12 & -58.7 & 6.0 & ... & ... & ... + & & c3 & 8 & 0.04 & 1.84 & 0.12 & -42.2 & 4.8 & ... & ... & ... + & & c2 & 2 & 0.05 & 3.05 & 0.49 & -40.5 & 11.4 & ... & ... & ... + & & c1 & 2 & 0.04 & 8.27 & 0.49 & -44.2 & 4.2 & ... & ... & ... + & f4 & c0 & 15 & 0.71 & ... & ... & ... & ... & 0.21 & 0.68 & -63.7 + & & c5 & 15 & 0.19 & 0.50 & 0.17 & -69.9 & 35.4 & 0.39 & 0.38 & 30.3 + & & c4 & 15 & 0.08 & 1.25 & 0.19 & -57.0 & 15.5 & 0.67 & 1.00 & ... + & & c3 & 15 & 0.03 & 1.97 & 0.23 & -41.7 & 9.2 & 0.60 & 1.00 & ... + & & & 8 & 0.03 & 2.08 & 0.57 & -28.1 & 15.2 & 1.25 & 1.00 & ... + & & c1 & 8 & 0.02 & 7.39 & 0.55 & -31.7 & 4.5 & 2.39 & 1.00 & ... + & & & 2 & 0.06 & 7.18 & 1.95 & -32.3 & 16.5 & 4.50 & 0.37 & 18.6 + & 12 & c0 & 8 & 1.08 & ... & ... & ... & ... & 0.18 & 0.73 & -70.4 + & & c5 & 8 & 0.32 & 0.41 & 0.18 & -70.2 & 31.3 & 0.33 & 1.00 & ... + & & c4 & 8 & 0.21 & 1.34 & 0.17 & -53.8 & 10.8 & 0.79 & 0.49 & -41.8 + & & c3 & 8 & 0.03 & 2.09 & 0.17 & -48.4 & 6.9 & ... & ... & ... + & & c2 & 2 & 0.07 & 4.69 & 0.63 & -37.6 & 10.4 & 0.81 & 1.00 & ... + & & c1 & 2 & 0.15 & 8.49 & 0.62 & -42.0 & 5.9 & 1.35 & 1.00 & ... + in table [ mfittab ] , we have only included those components which we can unambiguously resolve .
the lower resolution 2 ghz images usually see the core plus the inner 8 ghz components as only a single component .
since it is impossible to deconvolve these merged components and know how much flux is coming from each , we do not include these merged 2 ghz components in table [ mfittab ] . in the model fits listed in table [ mfittab ] we have fixed the location of the presumed core to be at the origin and give positions for all other components relative to the core .
for all three of these sources we have selected as the core the brightest compact component at the end of the extended jet structure . in all of these sources
this component also has the flattest spectral index .
determining accurate errors in the model - fit parameters is problematic .
formal methods for calculating the errors , such as that described by biretta , moore , & cohen ( 1986 ) , rely on varying a given parameter until the reduced @xmath16 increases by a certain factor .
this gives an estimate for the uncertainty in a parameter within that particular observation , but it does not take into account the differences in @xmath8 plane coverage among observations in a series , which may cause differences in the model - fit parameters among observations which are much larger than the associated formal errors . since geodetic vlbi observations can have drastically different antennas and @xmath8 plane coverages , we might expect that this effect would dominate for a series of geodetic vlbi images .
indeed , we have used the method of biretta , moore , & cohen ( 1986 ) to derive formal errors for the model - fit parameters of 1611 + 343 presented in paper i , and it is obvious from the large scatter in the points that the formal errors are much too small .
the only way to derive an accurate estimate for the errors is to model fit a series of images made from observations with varying @xmath8 plane coverages over a small enough time interval that the source structure does not change and note the scatter in the model - fit parameters .
many of the sources in the usno database have observations close enough together in time that this can be done .
since we expect errors in the component positions to be proportional to the beam size , we express the errors as a fraction of the beam and note that for nearly simultaneous images of 1611 + 343 ( paper i ) , and 1606 + 106 , the scatter in the model - fit component positions is about a quarter of a beam fwhm .
we have accordingly used a quarter of a beam as the error in the position for most of the components , except for those noted below . for the beam size in a given direction
we have used the maximum projection of the beam onto a line in that direction .
it is reasonable to suppose that model fitting will more accurately locate bright , compact components . from condon ( 1997 )
it can be derived that the positional error should be proportional to @xmath17 , where @xmath18 is the surface brightness of the component .
we have accordingly used smaller error bars for the brighter , more compact components .
we have used 1/6 of a beam for component c2 in 0202 + 149 , and 1/16 of a beam for the very bright , very compact component c3 in cta 26 .
the bright 2 ghz component c1 in 0202 + 149 is elongated perpendicular to the radial direction ; we have used 1/10 of a beam for the radial error and 1/6 of a beam for the angular error . in all cases
the observed scatter of the positions about the fitted lines agrees with the chosen error bars . for the fitted fluxes
the calibration error must be added to the model fitting error . since the calibration errors are relatively large for these geodetic vlbi experiments , the model - fit fluxes are in general not very accurate , except possibly for the very bright components .
in this section we discuss the motions of the individual components in both radius and position angle .
two of the sources , cta 26 and 1606 + 106 , have components moving outward at apparent superluminal velocities , while the components in 0202 + 149 are clearly subluminal .
we have calculated values for the apparent velocities by performing least - squares fits to the component distances from the cores as a function of time , using the model - fit positions and errors discussed in the preceding section . in all cases a linear fit was adequate , i.e. we have no significant detection of acceleration or deceleration of any of the components .
when a component was detected at more than one frequency , we fit the positions measured at each frequency separately to avoid effects from frequency - dependent separation .
we then took the weighted average of the velocities measured at the different frequencies to obtain a single value for the velocity .
for all three of the sources discussed here , the velocities measured for the individual components are consistent with all components within the source having the same velocity .
motion of the jet components in position angle is also discussed in this section .
all position angle values are measured from north through east . here
we also present data on the motion of the components of 1156 + 295 in position angle , since only the outward motions of the 1156 + 295 components were discussed in paper ii .
curved jets on vlbi scales are a common feature of blazars , and we observe bent jets in the sources we have studied . in fact , we have highly significant detections of different position angles for different components for all five of the sources we have studied in detail . whether or not individual components move in position angle , and whether or not they follow other components , must be examined on a case - by - case basis .
this requires longer monitoring of individual components , and preferably waiting until a component reaches the same radial distance from the core previously occupied by an earlier component . for 1611 + 343 ( paper i ) , we found that components were located at different position angles , but that motion with constant position angle was adequate to fit individual component motions .
we observed significantly different position angles for components at the same radial distance , which ruled out motion of the components along identical curved paths .
the source 0202 + 149 is a flat - spectrum radio quasar with a redshift of 0.833 ( stickel et al .
bondi et al .
( 1996 ) , padrielli et al .
( 1986 ) , and romney et al .
( 1984 ) imaged this source with vlbi at three epochs ( 1980 february , 1981 october , and 1987 november ) at 1.7 ghz as part of a campaign to study the structure of low - frequency variable sources .
they found that the structure of 0202 + 149 was well fit by a model with two components separated by @xmath193.4 milliarcseconds ( mas ) along a position angle of @xmath20 .
the separation of the components did not change significantly over the three epochs , although the low resolution of the observations does not allow the authors to place a very strict upper limit on the proper motion .
they find that both components vary in flux , the southeastern component brightens , and the northwestern component fades over the three epochs .
a 22 ghz vlbi observation by moellenbrock et al .
( 1996 ) measured a brightness temperature for 0202 + 149 in excess of the inverse compton limit for synchrotron radiation ( 10@xmath21 k ) , indicating the likelihood of relativistic beaming in this source .
the separations from the core as a function of time that we measure from our images are shown in figures 7@xmath13 and @xmath22 for components c1 and c2 respectively . by taking the weighted average of the velocities found from separate fits to the 2 , 8 , and 15 ghz positions of c1
, we calculate an outward velocity of [email protected] @xmath0 for this component .
similarly , we measure a velocity of @[email protected] @xmath0 for component c2
. both of these velocities are consistent with no motion , and the one - sigma upper limits are 0.99 and 0.42 @xmath0 for c1 and c2 respectively . since the measured positions are consistent with stationary components , we have plotted the best fits to constant separation from the core in figures 7@xmath13 and @xmath22 . in figure 7@xmath13
the fitted separations are at successively greater distances from the core as the frequency increases .
this frequency - dependent separation was also seen in 1156 + 295 ( paper ii ) and has been noted by other authors ( e.g. biretta , moore , & cohen 1986 ) .
it may be due to gradients in magnetic field and electron density , which cause the @xmath25 surface to move progressively inward at higher frequencies .
the frequency - dependent separation in figure 7@xmath22 appears to go in the wrong direction , although the error bars on the 15 ghz points are such that this separation is not significant .
figure 7@xmath13 : separation of component c1 in 0202 + 149 .
squares represent the 2 ghz positions , diamonds 8 ghz , and triangles 15 ghz .
the lines shown are the best fits to constant separation from the core .
the solid line is the best fit to the 2 ghz positions , the dotted line to the 8 ghz positions , and the dashed line to the 15 ghz positions .
figure 7@xmath22 : separation of component c2 in 0202 + 149 .
diamonds represent the 8 ghz positions and triangles the 15 ghz positions .
the lines shown are the best fits to constant separation from the core .
the dotted line is the best fit to the 8 ghz positions , and the dashed line to the 15 ghz positions .
the vlbi observations of 0202 + 149 at 1.7 ghz presented by bondi et al .
( 1996 ) show a bright component about 3.4 mas from the core which can probably be identified with our component c1 .
although their three measured positions are also consistent with the component having no motion , their measured separation is about 1.4 mas closer to the core than ours . if a fit is done to the bondi et al .
( 1996 ) positions which cover the time range 1980 to 1987 , combined with our measured 2 ghz positions which cover the time range 1989 to 1996 , then a slightly superluminal velocity of [email protected] @xmath0 is obtained .
however , this velocity comes entirely from the difference in separation between the bondi et al .
( 1996 ) points and our points , and each set of measurements individually is consistent with no motion .
we suspect that this velocity may arise from frequency - dependent separation combined with systematic differences between the two sets of observations , and we use only the velocity obtained from fits to our actual measured component positions .
component c2 also appears to be stationary at 0.41 mas from the core , but this component is not present in the images from 1989 and 1991 . either this component really is moving outward , or it may represent a standing shock in the underlying flow which appeared in this location sometime between 1991 and 1993 .
if this component were moving at its 2@xmath26 upper limit proper motion of 0.04 mas yr@xmath2 , then in 1991 it could have been only 0.33 mas from the core and may have been unresolved in these earlier images .
the high 8 ghz core flux in the 1991 image may support this .
if this is so , then the velocity of c2 would actually be around 1.0 @xmath0 .
the components in this source are stationary in position angle as well as in radius .
however , they have different position angles from each other .
the measured position angle of c1 is @xmath27 , and that of c2 is @xmath28 . the average position angle of c1 from the observations presented by bondi et al .
( 1996 ) is @xmath29 , with no error bars given for the position angles .
their error bars are likely to be quite large because of the large size and ellipticity of their beams . if the difference between the bondi et al .
( 1996 ) c1 position angle and our c1 position angle is in fact significant , this would imply motion of c1 from a position angle close to that of c2 to its present position angle over the time between the bondi et al .
( 1996 ) observations and the present
. this would imply motion of c1 at close to its one - sigma upper limit velocity .
the quasar cta 26 ( 0336 - 019 ) is a core - dominated flat - spectrum radio source at a redshift of 0.852 ( hewitt & burbidge 1989 ) .
a 5 ghz vlbi image from wehrle et al .
( 1992 ) shows a jet at a position angle of about 65@xmath30 , roughly orthogonal to the vla secondary .
relativistic beaming is indicated by the vlbi observations of linfield et al .
( 1989 ) , who measure a brightness temperature well in excess of the 10@xmath21 k inverse compton limit .
figures 8@xmath13 and @xmath22 show the outward motions that we measure for the components of cta 26 .
the motion of the outermost component c1 is shown in figure 8@xmath13 .
this component was only detected at 2 ghz .
the lower 2 ghz resolution , in combination with very elliptical beams at some epochs , has resulted in rather large errors in the position measurements for this component .
these errors lead to a large error in the fitted velocity , which is [email protected] @xmath0 .
this component fades over time and is not visible in the 2 ghz images after mid 1995 .
figure 8@xmath13 : separation of component c1 in cta 26 .
all measurements are at 2 ghz .
the line is the best fit to motion with constant velocity .
figure 8@xmath22 : separation of components c2 and c3 in cta 26 .
all measurements are at 8 ghz .
the lines are the best fits to motion with constant velocity .
the motions of the two components which we detected in the 8 ghz images , c2 and c3 , are shown in figure 8@xmath22 .
component c2 was detected in the earliest image and continued to be visible over most of the covered time range , although it faded as time went on .
component c3 was first detected in late 1994 and was visible in all subsequent images .
the measured outward velocities for these two components are [email protected] @xmath0 for c2 , and [email protected] @xmath0 for c3 .
these measured velocities and standard errors are consistent with all three components moving at the weighted average velocity of [email protected] @xmath0 .
this value is near the high end of the apparent velocity distribution for core - dominated quasars .
this distribution appears to have a cutoff around speeds of 10 @xmath0 ( vc94 ) ; however , velocities between 8 and 10 @xmath0 are not uncommon .
figure 9 shows the measured separations and position angles of all components at all frequencies and all epochs for cta 26 .
we plot @xmath10 on a logarithmic scale to aid in display of both inner and outer components .
motion with constant position angle corresponds to motion along a horizontal line on this plot .
the motion of c3 is well fit by motion at a constant position angle of @xmath31 ; however , we have a greater than 2@xmath26 detection of change in position angle for both c2 and c1 .
c2 decreases its position angle from about @xmath32 to about @xmath33 as it moves from 1 to 2 mas , while c1 increases its position angle with time . if c2 and c1 define a single path , evidently the components move toward lower position angles from radii around 1 mas to radii around 3 or 4 mas , at which time they curve back to higher position angles .
such oscillations in position angle are expected in the helical models which have been proposed to explain some curved jets ( e.g. hardee 1987 ) .
although c2 and c1 may define a single path , it is evident that c3 has taken a different path out from the core than c2 .
c3 is at a lower position angle than c2 when c2 was at the same radius .
if c3 continues moving along its present straight path , it will merge with the path defined by c2 at a radius of between 1 and 2 mas .
components which take different paths out from the core and later merge onto the same curved path have been seen in 3c345 ( zensus , cohen , & unwin 1995 ) .
figure 9 : measured positions of all components at all frequencies and all epochs for cta 26 .
the @xmath34-axis shows the distance from the core on a logarithmic scale and the @xmath35-axis shows the position angle , measured from north through east .
asterisks show measured positions of c1 , triangles c2 , and squares c3 .
the geodetic vlbi images and outward motions of the components of 1156 + 295 were discussed in paper ii . here
we discuss the motion of the components of this source in position angle .
figure 10 is the same as figure 9 except it shows the component positions from 1156 + 295 .
the 2 ghz positions have been shifted out by 0.65 mas to correct for the observed frequency - dependent separation ( paper ii ) .
the motions of c1 , c2 , and c4 are well fit by constant position angles , which differ significantly from each other , of @xmath36 , @xmath37 , and @xmath38 respectively .
we have a greater than 2@xmath26 detection of a change in position angle for c3 , from @xmath39 at 1 mas to @xmath40 at 3 mas .
inspection of figure 10 suggests a continuous path , consisting of oscillations in position angle , that the components could follow .
the components could start at the core with a position angle of @xmath41 and increase their position angle to about @xmath42 at 1 mas , at which point they would turn and move toward lower position angles of around @xmath40 at 3 mas .
they could then curve back toward higher position angles , reaching a position angle of @xmath43 at 10 mas .
whether or not such a path exists should become evident with continued monitoring .
c4 has already reached the earliest c3 radius and is somewhat below that c3 position angle ; however , the error bars on the earliest c3 point are large enough that this may not be significant .
c3 has just now reached the radius of the earliest c2 point .
if it is going to follow c2 , it needs to start moving toward higher position angles soon .
figure 10 : measured positions of all components at all frequencies and all epochs for 1156 + 295 .
the @xmath34-axis shows the distance from the core on a logarithmic scale and the @xmath35-axis shows the position angle , measured from north through east .
asterisks show measured positions of c1 , triangles c2 , squares c3 , and diamonds c4 .
the flat - spectrum radio quasar 1606 + 106 has a redshift of 1.23 ( stickel & khr 1994 ) .
this quasar was observed with vlbi at 5 ghz in a three - antenna experiment by zensus , porcas , & pauliny - toth ( 1984 ) .
it was well fit by a circular gaussian of width 0.6 mas .
at least three images of this source have been made from geodetic vlbi data by britzen et al .
( 1994 ) , although the images are not presented in that reference .
the components in the jet of 1606 + 106 are considerably fainter than the components in the other two sources studied here , so not all components are detected by us at all epochs . in general , our later observations of 1606 + 106 had superior sensitivity and @xmath8 plane coverage , and were better able to detect the fainter components .
figure 11@xmath13 shows the measured positions of the outer components , c1 and c2 , from our images .
these components were both mainly detected in the 2 ghz images , although there are some 8 ghz detections of each .
the weighted average of the velocities measured at 2 and 8 ghz are [email protected] and [email protected] @xmath0 for c1 and c2 respectively , where the large error bars are the result of the lower 2 ghz resolution .
figure 11@xmath13 : separation of components c1 and c2 in 1606 + 106 .
squares represent the 2 ghz positions and diamonds the 8 ghz positions .
the lines are the best fits to motion with constant velocity for the 2 ghz positions .
figure 11@xmath22 shows our measurements of the distances from the core of the inner components : c3 , c4 , and c5 .
these components are all too close to the core to be detected at 2 ghz .
all of our observations of these components are at 8 ghz and are combined with some vlba detections at 15 ghz .
the measured velocities for components c3 , c4 , and c5 are [email protected] , [email protected] , and [email protected] @xmath0 respectively .
c3 and c4 move outward superluminally , while c5 is stationary with respect to the core .
vc94 point out that the large number of stationary components found in core - dominated quasars precludes their being part of a continuous distribution of lorentz factors , and they probably represent a different phenomenon from the more rapidly moving components .
if we therefore exclude the velocity measurement of c5 , the velocities of the other four components are consistent with all of these components moving at the same average velocity of [email protected] @xmath0 .
figure 11@xmath22 : separation of components c3 , c4 , and c5 in 1606 + 106 .
diamonds represent the 8 ghz positions and triangles the 15 ghz positions .
the lines are the best fits to motion with constant velocity for the 8 ghz positions .
we have more measured component positions for this quasar than for any other ; a total of 51 measured component positions are plotted in figure 12 . to aid comparison with the 8 ghz positions , the 2 ghz and 15 ghz radii
have been adjusted by the observed magnitude of frequency - dependent separation in this source .
each component s motion is well fit by a constant position angle .
the motions of c1 , c2 , and c3 are all well fit by motion along the same position angle , @xmath44 , and the position angles of c4 and c5 , @xmath45 and @xmath46 respectively , differ significantly from this and from each other . in this source
each component could continue moving along the position angles given here , or c4 and c5 could move toward higher position angles to join the path defined by c1 , c2 , and c3 .
if these component positions do define a continuous path , then this path has only a gradual change in position angle which then becomes constant around 2 mas , in contrast to the hypothetical paths in cta 26 and 1156 + 295 , which had oscillations in position angle .
figure 12 : measured positions of all components at all frequencies and all epochs for 1606 + 106 .
the @xmath34-axis shows the distance from the core on a logarithmic scale and the @xmath35-axis shows the position angle , measured from north through east .
asterisks show measured positions of c1 , triangles c2 , squares c3 , diamonds c4 , and circles c5 .
analysis of the structure of vlbi images , along with large - scale source properties , has enabled vlbi sources to be classified into a number of morphological groups ( e.g. pearson & readhead 1988 , hereafter pr88 ) .
most of the egret blazars imaged with vlbi show the core - dominated , flat - spectrum , core - jet morphology characteristic of strong beaming and can be classified into the _ very compact _ , _ compact _ , or _
asymmetric i _ categories in the pr88 scheme .
all of the egret sources we have studied in detail have conformed to this expected morphology , with the exception of 0202 + 149 .
this source distinguishes itself in our vlbi images by having a simple double morphology at 2 ghz and by being the only source , out of the five for which we have measured apparent velocities , which exhibits no apparent motion of the components .
this source is unusual for an egret source in its large - scale properties as well .
it is unresolved in vla images ( murphy , browne , & perley 1993 ) , has a low radio polarization of 0.2% ( perley 1982 ) , and has a relatively small radio variability ( v=0.3 from the umrao online database , where v=@xmath47 ) .
these properties all match the properties of the compact f double class , and we can identify 0202 + 149 as a new compact f double source .
the compact double sources were first identified by phillips and mutel ( 1982 ) , and this class of sources was divided according to their spectral index into compact s ( @xmath48 ) and compact f ( @xmath49 ) doubles by pr88 .
detailed studies of the compact double sources by conway et al .
( 1994 ) have shown that the compact s and compact f doubles are likely to be very different physical phenomena and that the compact f doubles are probably physically more similar to the core - jet sources than to their steep - spectrum counterparts .
they suggest that the components of compact s doubles are the termination points of oppositely directed jets , while compact f doubles are an unusual form of core - jet source with a bright , stationary jet component .
the egret detection of 0202 + 149 strengthens the conclusion of conway et al .
( 1994 ) that the compact f double sources are just an unusual form of core - jet source and are physically very different from the `` terminating jet '' interpretation of compact s doubles , where we would not expect to see @xmath4-ray emission .
observations of @xmath4-rays from 0202 + 149 imply that the source is strongly beamed .
this strong beaming , together with the very low apparent velocities , means that the jet must be aligned extremely close to the line - of - sight if the component velocities reflect the bulk motion of material in the jet .
indications of strong beaming have been seen in the other compact f doubles in the form of high jet / counterjet brightness ratios .
conway et al . (
1994 ) show that the stationary components then imply such a small angle of the jet to the line - of - sight that the probability of observing these sources is very low .
they suggest two models to explain the stationary components of compact f doubles , although the large - scale properties of these sources , which also make them quite different from normal core - jet sources , remain to be explained .
the components could represent standing shocks in the jet , implying that the component velocities are much less than the bulk velocity of jet material .
alternatively , the components could be due to relativistic flow close to the line - of - sight along a curving jet , and since a curving jet samples a range of angles to the line - of - sight , the arguments suggesting a low probability of detection would not apply . since both of these models allow for bulk relativistic motion close to the line - of - sight , the detection of @xmath4-rays from a compact f double seems compatible with either model .
it is interesting to see if vlbi component ejections correlate with outbursts in the light curves of these sources .
correlations between the emergence of new vlbi components and radio flares have been noted by many authors , e.g , mutel et al .
( 1994 , 1990 ) , zensus et al . (
such a correlation is not surprising ; since newly emerged vlbi components typically have a high radio flux , it is not unexpected that they would contribute significantly to the total light curve
. a more meaningful correlation would be if component ejections correlated with flares in the optical or @xmath4-ray regimes .
then we would actually be observing the effects of enhanced activity in the central engine as they propagated down the jet . in the common shock interpretation of vlbi components ,
@xmath4-ray and optical emission could originate in these compact energetic shocks as they form and move out from the core . after some time , typically zero to several hundred days ( tornikoski et al . 1994 ) , the component becomes optically thin to lower frequency radio emission , causing the observed brightening in the radio . also at about this time , depending on source distance and vlbi resolution , the component becomes resolved from the `` core '' in vlbi observations , where the vlbi `` core '' is simply the point at which the jet becomes optically thick .
such a detailed scenario in which the @xmath4-ray emission is due to a propagating discontinuity ( corresponding to a jet component observed with vlbi ) in a poynting flux jet , and where the delay of the radio emission is due to self - absorption or free - free absorption by external plasma , has been proposed by romanova & lovelace ( 1996 ) .
reich et al .
( 1993 ) have observed enhanced radio emission with a delay of several months relative to the egret detection in some sources .
conversely , some models predict that there should be no correlation between vlbi component ejections and @xmath4-ray flares . in the model of punsly ( 1996 ) , the vlbi jet and the @xmath4-ray jet are two separate jets , so we would not expect any correlation between them .
correlations between optical flares and the formation of vlbi components have been noted for example , component c9 of 3c273 ( krichbaum
et al . 1990 ) and components k1 and k3 of oj287 ( vicente et al . 1996 ) although these references also mention that there are optical flares with no subsequent vlbi components and vlbi components which have no associated optical flares . gabuzda & sitko ( 1994 ) see variations in optical polarization accompanying component ejections in oj287 and 3c279 .
the lack of detection of a vlbi component following a flare could be due to extremely short - lived components .
abraham et al . (
1994 ) have detected components with lifetimes as short as one year in 3c273 , and they suggest the ejection rate of these components may be much higher than previously thought .
high frequency vlbi observations by krichbaum et al .
( 1995 ) have revealed newly emerged components which appear correlated with preceding egret flares in 0528 + 134 , 0836 + 710 , and 3c454.3 .
similar results have been obtained for 3c279 ( wehrle et al .
these results indicate that @xmath4-ray flares may be related to the production of observed jet components .
we have calculated the epoch of zero separation for each moving component in all of our sources .
these times are listed in table [ ejtime ] .
we list only those components that have emerged recently enough that correlated flux observations might exist , i.e. , the outer components of all sources and the slow - moving and stationary components of 0202 + 149 and 1606 + 106 are not listed .
the 1@xmath26 errors in the velocities were used to calculate the errors in the separation times ; note that this does not produce symmetric errors .
the recent ejections of c2 and c3 in cta 26 , and c3 and c4 in 1156 + 295 , appear to correlate with outbursts in the historic radio and optical light curves .
these outbursts are listed in table [ ejtime ] . for cta 26
the ejection times of c2 and c3 correlate with the two largest radio flares since 1990 ( m. aller 1996 , private communication ) .
smith et al .
( 1993 ) also show cta 26 entering a more active optical state around 1990 . for 1156 + 295
, the ejection of c3 seems to correlate with a very large optical flare in 1985 , and the later ejection of c4 corresponds to a peak in the high - frequency radio light curve ( tornikoski et al .
1994 ) .
c c c c c c & & & & possible correlated & + source & comp . & ejection time & 1@xmath26 time range & outbursts + cta 26 & c2 & 1991 jun & 1990 nov - 1991 nov & 1990 ; 4.8 , 8 , and 14.5 ghz + & c3 & 1993 apr & 1993 jan - 1993 jul & 1993 ; 4.8 , 8 , and 14.5 ghz + 1156 + 295 & c3 & 1985 sep & 1984 jul - 1986 jul & early 1985 ; optical + & & & & mid 1985 ; 90 ghz + & c4 & 1991 mar & 1989 jun - 1992 jan & 1990 ; 37 and 90 ghz + we are particularly interested in possible correlations with egret flares .
we found in paper i that the separation time of c5 in 1611 + 343 was during a high state of @xmath4-ray activity .
for the sources studied in detail in this paper , a @xmath4-ray flare can be identified in the egret light curves of cta 26 , 1156 + 295 , and 1606 + 106 .
figure 13 shows the egret light curves for these three sources along with that for 1611 + 343 , which is shown for completeness .
these light curves have been constructed from the data in mukherjee et al .
all of these sources have a @xmath4-ray variability index greater than 1 ( mukherjee et al . 1997 ) , indicating strong variability .
these plots also show the time ranges for the ejections of vlbi components which have emerged during the lifetime of egret .
the only component whose ejection time correlates with an observed high level of @xmath4-ray activity is component c5 of 1611 + 343 .
egret upper limits recorded during the ejection times of the other components do not necessarily mean there was no correlated flare , because such a flare could have occurred when egret was not observing the source . actual evidence of no correlation must instead come from egret flares with no accompanying vlbi components .
as yet , no components have been detected emerging as a result of the flares of cta 26 , 1156 + 295 , and 1606 + 106 .
lower limits can be set on the time at which such a component could have emerged by assuming it travels at the average speed of components in that source and would be resolved by the time it reached 0.4 mas from the core ( the distance of c2 in 0202 + 149 and c5 in 1606 + 106 ) .
these lower limits are shown as right - facing arrows on the light curves of cta 26 , 1156 + 295 , and 1606 + 106 .
for cta 26 and 1606 + 106 these times are only slightly later than the observed @xmath4-ray flare , so a somewhat slower than average component may yet be seen ( in fact , such a component has been reported recently in high - frequency vlba observations of cta 26 by hallum et al .
( 1997 ) ) , but for 1156 + 295 it appears there is definitely no component correlated with the 1993 egret flare . if there was a correlated component in this source , then it is likely that it was so short lived that it was not detected .
these data give no indication that egret flares are correlated with vlbi component ejections , contrary to the correlations observed by other authors discussed earlier in this section .
however , since the observations by other authors were at higher frequency and resolution and thus better able to detect short - lived components such a correlation may still be possible .
figure 13 : egret light curves with component ejection times .
since the value of the apparent superluminal velocity is a function of both the lorentz factor @xmath50 and the angle to the line - of - sight @xmath51 , knowledge of the apparent speeds alone is sufficient only to place a lower limit on @xmath50 or an upper limit on @xmath51 .
another parameter of the flow which depends on both @xmath50 and @xmath51 is the ratio of observed to emitted frequency , or doppler factor , @xmath52^{-1}$ ] .
if both @xmath53 and the apparent velocity are known , the lorentz factor and angle to the line - of - sight of the flow can in principle be determined .
this assumes that the lorentz factor of the pattern speed seen in the superluminal motions , @xmath54 , is the same as the lorentz factor of the bulk fluid flow causing the doppler boosting , @xmath55 , which for some sources may be an incorrect assumption .
there have been several methods used to determine values of @xmath53 for agns .
one method , ( see e.g. marscher 1987 ; ghisellini et al .
1993 , hereafter gpcm ) , assumes that the x - ray flux from the source is produced by the synchrotron self - compton ( ssc ) process .
the expected ssc emission from a vlbi component depends on @xmath53 and on parameters which can be estimated from the vlbi images . a lower limit to the doppler factor , @xmath56 ,
is obtained because for values of @xmath56 which are too low , the calculated x - ray flux from a component is greater than the actual x - ray flux from the source .
another method of calculating @xmath53 ( e.g. , dondi & ghisellini 1995 , hereafter dg95 ) can be applied to @xmath4-ray sources by demanding that the optical depth due to pair - production be low enough for @xmath4-rays to escape .
this optical depth depends on @xmath53 , so a lower limit , @xmath57 , can be obtained by setting the optical depth equal to 1 .
readhead ( 1994 ) notes that intrinsic brightness temperatures of sources do not vary much from the `` equipartition brightness temperature '' the brightness temperature at which there is equipartition of energy between the radiating particles and the magnetic field .
the observed brightness temperature can be compared with the equipartition brightness temperature to determine the equipartition doppler factor , @xmath58 ( gijosa & daly 1996 , hereafter gd96 ) .
each of these methods has drawbacks ; the first two give only lower limits to @xmath53 and the third assumes equipartition , which may not be valid in all sources .
a lower limit on the doppler factor implies that when these doppler factors are compared with apparent superluminal velocities , only lower limits to @xmath50 and upper limits to @xmath51 can be obtained , although these limits are often better than those obtained using the apparent velocity alone .
we have calculated @xmath56 for the core components of the sources in our sample .
unfortunately , these doppler factors depend on powers as high as the square of sometimes poorly known quantities such as the angular size of the component and the frequency and flux at the peak of the synchrotron spectrum . since we only have observations at two frequencies , we are not able to precisely determine the peak of the synchrotron spectrum , and in general we assume a turnover at 8 ghz if the spectrum is rising over the observed range , a turnover at 2 ghz if it is falling , or a turnover at 5 ghz if it is flat .
we have high resolution for each of our observing frequencies , which should give relatively accurate measurements of the core angular size .
we also average the doppler factors calculated at the individual epochs to obtain the estimate of @xmath53 for each source .
this averaging should alleviate some of the error introduced by inaccurate measurements of angular size or flux density . although gpcm , dg95 , or gd96 have calculated doppler factors for all of our sources except 0202 + 149 , they all used single - epoch single - frequency vlbi data , and hence were forced to assume that the frequency of observation was the turnover frequency .
we hope our multi - epoch dual - frequency data may provide better estimates of these doppler factors .
we use equation ( 1 ) of gpcm to calculate @xmath56 .
this equation is @xmath59^{1/(4 - 2\alpha)}(1+z),\ ] ] where @xmath60 , @xmath61 is the flux density ( in jy ) at the turnover frequency @xmath62 ( in ghz ) , @xmath63 is the x - ray flux density ( in jy ) at frequency @xmath64 ( in kev ) , @xmath65 is the synchrotron high - frequency cutoff ( assumed to be @xmath66hz , ( gpcm ) ) , @xmath67 is the angular diameter of the radio core at the turnover frequency ( in mas ) , and the sign of @xmath68 has been changed to reflect the convention used in this paper .
this equation assumes the radiating component is a homogeneous sphere .
while more sophisticated geometries such as conical jets have been used by some authors , e.g. unwin et al .
( 1994 ) , they also require more sophisticated multi - frequency vlbi data in order to constrain them . in keeping with gpcm , we use an optically thin spectral index of @xmath69 and use x - ray fluxes from dg95 .
gd96 report two correction factors that must be applied to this equation : a factor of 1.8 in the angular size and a factor of 2 in the flux at the spectral peak .
when we calculated doppler factors for 1611 + 343 in paper i , we were aware of only the first of these correction factors , so we give fully corrected values for 1611 + 343 here .
values of the doppler factors and the corresponding limits to @xmath50 and @xmath51 are given in table [ doppler ] .
note that since @xmath70 has a minimum of @xmath71 , where @xmath72 is the apparent velocity , at @xmath73 , then if @xmath74 the lower limit obtained on @xmath50 is the same as that obtained from the apparent velocity alone .
c c c c c & & & & @xmath51 + source & @xmath56 & @xmath72 & @xmath50 & ( deg ) + 0202 + 149 & 18.0 & 0.4 & 9.0 & 0.15 + cta 26 & 12.8 & 8.9 & 9.5 & 4.2 + 1156 + 295 & 4.4 & 5.2 & 5.3 & 12.9 + 1606 + 106 & 15.3 & 2.9 & 7.9 & 1.4 + 1611 + 343 & 16.6 & 11.4 & 12.2 & 3.2 + the values of @xmath56 found for cta 26 and 1156 + 295 agree well with the values found for these sources by gpcm and gd96 .
the values of @xmath56 found for 1606 + 106 and 1611 + 343 are considerably higher than the corresponding values found by dg95 , possibly due to higher resolution of our vlbi observations .
the values of @xmath56 calculated for these five sources are considerably higher than the values of @xmath57 calculated for these same sources by dg95 .
in fact , the average value of @xmath56 for the entire dg95 sample is higher than the average value of @xmath57 for the same sample , which implies that the @xmath4-ray optical depth in these sources is considerably less than 1 , since a value of unity is assumed in the calculation of @xmath57 .
the angles to the line - of - sight listed in table [ doppler ] are all relatively small , as is expected for strongly beamed sources . in particular , the high doppler factor and low apparent velocity of 0202 + 149 imply a very small angle to the line - of - sight of 0.15@xmath30 .
the chance probability of a source having such a small angle to the line - of - sight is only 3.4@xmath75 .
such an unreasonably small angle must imply that the pattern speed @xmath54 is much less than the bulk fluid speed @xmath55 ( this equality being assumed in the calculation of @xmath50 and @xmath51 ) , or that the stationary components represent points along a curving jet where the jet is directly aligned with the line - of - sight .
one of these situations is what we would expect , given the nature of 0202 + 149 as a compact f double ( see @xmath6 [ compactf ] ) .
a similar situation may exist for 1606 + 106 , since it also has a low @xmath72 but high @xmath53 .
the other sources also have angles close to the line - of - sight , and in fact all except 1156 + 295 are on the small angle side of the maximum in the @xmath76 relation , where the apparent velocity _ decreases _ with decreasing angle to the line - of - sight . if we consider a hubble constant of 50 rather than 100 , thus doubling the values of @xmath72 , the angles to the line - of - sight become larger for all sources except 1156 + 295 , and the angular solutions for cta 26 and 1611 + 343 move to the large angle side of the maximum in the @xmath76 relation .
one of the major questions to be answered about the egret sources is why some of the sources sharing the common characteristics of egret blazars are not detected in @xmath4-rays .
some possible reasons for this mentioned by von montigny et al .
( 1995b ) are that there may be intrinsic differences between the detected and undetected sources ; that all blazars emit @xmath4-rays but some are not currently seen due to long timescale variability ; and that the @xmath4-ray emission may be beamed more narrowly than the radio emission .
vlbi observations are uniquely suited to testing this third possibility .
many of the source properties observed with vlbi , including the apparent superluminal velocity , @xmath72 , depend on the angle of the jet to the line - of - sight , so in principle the jet orientation angles of the egret and non - egret sources can be compared .
note that the egret and non - egret sources do not necessarily have a bimodal distribution in their ratio of @xmath4-ray flux to radio flux , as the radio - loud and radio - quiet quasars do in their ratio of radio to optical flux ( e.g. rawlings 1994 ) .
however , since mattox et al .
( 1997 ) show that there is a correlation between average 5 ghz radio flux and peak @xmath4-ray flux , and many of the strongest radio blazars have not been detected by egret , there is at least a very large scatter in the ratio of @xmath4-ray flux to radio flux that remains to be explained .
we decided to compare the average values of @xmath72 for the egret and non - egret sources to see if there is a significant difference between the two groups .
we use the speeds of all vlbi components measured in this work , paper i , and paper ii , along with the collected apparent velocity data of vc94 and some more recent vlbi observations of the egret sources 0420 - 014 ( wagner et al .
1995 ) , 0528 + 134 ( krichbaum et al . 1995 ; pohl et al . 1995 ) , and 1633 + 382 ( barthel et al . 1995 ) .
recent observations of 1730 - 130 ( bower et al . 1997 ) are not included since the superluminal motion is only inferred from the timing of flux outbursts .
a similar comparison has been done by tingay et al .
( 1996 ) ; however , we include the speeds of 15 new vlbi components measured in this paper , paper i , and paper ii thus approximately doubling the available sample for egret sources and we also use the data of vc94 somewhat differently . for the egret sources ,
we exclude the bl lacs , and we consider only the core - dominated quasars from vc94 , because gabuzda et al .
( 1994 ) show that the @xmath72 values of bl lacs and quasars are quite different .
we also combine the apparent velocity data using weighted averaging , so we exclude any apparent velocity measurement published without an associated error . when multiple components have been measured in a single source ,
we take the weighted average of the component speeds to form an average value for that source ; this is exactly equivalent to forming the weighted average of _ all _ components from _ all _ sources . since vc94 remark that the large number of stationary components found in core - dominated quasars implies that they probably represent a different phenomenon from the more rapidly moving components
, we also exclude components where the velocity measurement and associated error are consistent with no motion .
we find that the two groups of egret and non - egret sources have the same average apparent velocity of 5.5@xmath0 , with the standard deviations of the distributions being 2.7 and 2.4 @xmath0 respectively .
histograms of these apparent velocities are shown in piner ( 1998 ) .
we find no evidence that the egret and non - egret sources have different apparent velocities , in agreement with tingay et al .
( 1996 ) .
apparent velocity is probably not the best indicator of orientation .
the graph of @xmath72 vs. @xmath51 has a maximum at @xmath77 , and below this maximum the apparent velocity decreases as the source moves closer to the line - of - sight .
if a significant number of egret sources are located on the small angle side of this maximum , they could actually have a lower average apparent velocity than other sources while still being closer to the line - of - sight
. a better indicator of orientation is a function which increases monotonically as the angle to the line - of - sight decreases , such as the doppler factor @xmath53 or the ratio of core to extended flux , or core dominance parameter , @xmath78 .
we have investigated the average values of @xmath53 and @xmath78 for egret and non - egret sources using the values of @xmath56 from gpcm , dg95 , gd96 , guerra & daly ( 1997 ) , and this paper ; values of @xmath78 from gpcm , dg95 , and murphy et al .
( 1993 ) ; and using the set of egret sources from mukherjee et al .
the average values for @xmath56 and @xmath78 of the egret and non - egret sources are given in table [ deltar ] , where we have used the same source classifications used by gpcm .
the average values of @xmath56 for the egret and non - egret sources are the same within the errors , which may simply reflect the large uncertainties in determining @xmath56 .
the only significant difference in the @xmath78 values occurs for the lpqs , where the egret lpqs have an @xmath78 value significantly higher than the non - egret lpqs .
this implies that the egret lpqs are more strongly beamed than the non - egret lpqs and , if degree of polarization increases with decreasing angle to the line - of - sight , implies that the egret lpqs have an angle to the line - of - sight typical of hpqs .
since degree of polarization is variable , this suggests that the egret lpqs may really be hpqs which were classified during a low - polarization state .
c c c c c & & + & & + source type & @xmath56 & @xmath79 & @xmath56 & @xmath79 + bl lacs & [email protected] & [email protected] & [email protected] & [email protected] + cdqs & [email protected] & [email protected] & [email protected] & [email protected] + hpqs & [email protected] & [email protected] & [email protected] & [email protected] + lpqs & [email protected] & [email protected] & [email protected] & [email protected] + we also compared the misalignment angle distribution of the egret blazars to that of the non - egret blazars , where the misalignment angle is the difference between the vlbi and vla - scale position angles .
for the egret sources we measured misalignment angles using the method of xu et al .
( 1994 ) for all sources where images were available in the literature , as well as using the new images from this paper , paper i , and paper ii .
a complete listing of these misalignment angles is given by piner ( 1998 ) .
we compared this misalignment angle distribution to that for hpqs in general using the results from the combined pearson & readhead and first caltech - jodrell bank surveys presented by xu et al .
( 1994 ) and found that egret sources do not preferentially belong to either the aligned or the misaligned population , but follow the distribution typical of highly polarized sources in general .
these results independently confirm similar results found recently by bower et al .
( 1997 ) .
in conclusion , we do not find strong evidence that we are viewing @xmath4-ray sources any closer to the line - of - sight than is typical for an hpq source .
moellenbrock et al . (
1996 ) , in a survey of core - dominated radio sources , found that the @xmath4-ray sources occupy the high end of their brightness temperature distribution , indicating that the @xmath4-ray sources are among the most highly beamed in their sample .
however , their sample includes both high and low polarization core - dominated quasars .
unified schemes ( guerra & daly ( 1997 ) , tersranta & valtaoja ( 1994 ) ) indicate that lpqs typically have a larger angle to the line - of - sight than hpqs . if the ks test done by moellenbrock et al .
( 1996 ) is redone using only the hpq sources from their sample and the latest list of egret sources , the significance of the difference between the brightness temperature distributions of the egret and non - egret sources drops below 95% .
we conclude that vlbi observations are consistent with the average opening angle for the @xmath4-ray emission being approximately equal to the average viewing angle for an hpq .
if this is so , then the reason some hpqs are not seen in @xmath4-rays is probably due to intrinsic source differences or time variability .
nair ( 1997 ) has stated that cluster analysis shows that @xmath4-ray sources have larger amplitudes of optical variability and are bluer at larger redshifts .
punsly ( 1996 ) has found that @xmath4-ray quasars have larger mm spectral peaks relative to their cm spectral peaks than other core - dominated quasars .
both of these may be evidence that there are some intrinsic differences between the egret and non - egret sources .
we have presented vlbi images of the egret quasars 0202 + 149 , cta 26 , and 1606 + 106 .
we have detected superluminal motion in two of these sources , cta 26 and 1606 + 106 ; such superluminal motion is expected from highly beamed @xmath4-ray blazars .
the high doppler factor derived for 0202 + 149 also indicates that it is strongly beamed , the stationary jet components in this source can be interpreted as standing shocks or flow very close to the line - of - sight .
the quasar 0202 + 149 satisfies all the criteria of the compact f double morphology class as given by pr88 .
we have also investigated the shapes of the vlbi jets in all of these sources , as well as in 1156 + 295 , and have found they all possess apparently bent jets .
we have detected non - radial motions of components in cta 26 and 1156 + 295 .
it has been noted by some authors ( krichbaum et al .
1995 ; wehrle et al .
1996 ) , and is expected from some theoretical models , that vlbi components appear subsequent to @xmath4-ray flares .
we have not yet detected any components emerging subsequent to the @xmath4-ray flares in cta 26 , 1156 + 295 , and 1606 + 106 , although the only source which has a lower limit on the ejection time of such a component that is significantly later than the @xmath4-ray flare in that source is 1156 + 295 .
the observations of the three sources presented here , along with the observations of 1611 + 343 and 1156 + 295 presented in papers i and ii , significantly increase the number of egret sources for which detailed vlbi monitoring data are available .
such an increase makes comparisons between properties of the egret and non - egret populations more significant .
we have compared the misalignment angle distribution of egret sources to the distribution for blazars as a whole and find that the egret sources do not preferentially belong to the aligned or the misaligned population .
we have also compared the average values of the apparent velocity , the doppler factor , and the core dominance parameter for the egret sources with the same quantities for the non - egret sources .
we find no significant difference in these quantities between the two groups .
we thus find no indication that the egret blazars are more strongly beamed than the non - egret blazars , although the estimated errors and the scatter of individual sources are rather large , particularly for estimates of the doppler factor .
this paper , along with paper i and paper ii , shows the great usefulness of archived geodetic vlbi data in producing high quality , densely time sampled series of vlbi images for use in astrophysical studies .
the washington vlbi correlator s geodetic database continues to be a potential source for such studies .
we acknowledge the support of the vlbi staff at the naval observatory and the egret team at nasa / gsfc .
we also acknowledge helpful discussions and communication of data in advance of publication from margo aller , steve bloom , alan fey , and bob hartman .
additionally , we acknowledge the referee for his / her helpful comments and suggestions , particularly in pointing out the dangers of mentally equating egret and non - egret blazars to radio - loud and radio - quiet quasars .
this research has made use of the united states naval observatory ( usno ) radio reference frame image database ( rrfid ) , data from the university of michigan radio astronomy observatory which is supported by the national science foundation and by funds from the university of michigan , and the nasa / ipac extragalactic database ( ned ) which is operated by the jet propulsion laboratory , caltech , under contract with the national aeronautics and space administration . | arxiv |
Americans on low incomes are hit harder by high gas prices due to the war in Ukraine
By Chris Arnold
Gas prices are hitting new records as the invasion of Ukraine disrupts oil markets, and that is taking a toll on people with modest incomes, with inflation already pushing up prices for things like food, clothing and rent. NPR's Chris Arnold reports.
CHRIS ARNOLD, BYLINE: At a discount gas station in Boston, the cars are lined up waiting at the pumps. Gas is about 20 cents cheaper here than other places, but it's still $4 a gallon. Renea Paige is filling up her tank.
RENEA PAIGE: It's scary. Yeah. I'm waiting for it to hit $5 or $6. I don't want it to, but it might.
ARNOLD: Paige is an administrative assistant at a hospital. And she says the gas prices are coming on top of the rising cost of just so many other things.
PAIGE: You do cringe because it's like, OK, the meat prices are so high. Do I cut back on that and get something different, you know what I mean? So you do make a lot of substitutions because I feed a family where it's, like, eight of us. So yeah (laughter) it can be very difficult.
ARNOLD: The average price of gas around the country is now $4.25 a gallon. In some places, it's much higher. And if you don't make a lot of money and have a long commute, that is getting pretty painful.
JOE BRUSUELAS: Rising prices will disproportionately hit poor, working-class and middle-class Americans.
ARNOLD: Joe Brusuelas is the chief economist at the Wall Street research firm RSM. He says it's been a few generations since the price of just about everything, including gas, has gone up all at once.
BRUSUELAS: So Americans are going to experience a once-in-a-lifetime source of sticker shock through the remainder of the year. This is something that Americans just aren't accustomed to because we haven't seen it since the mid-1970s.
ARNOLD: James Bushnell is an energy economist at UC Davis. He says back in the '70s, though, oil price shocks were much more damaging.
JAMES BUSHNELL: Back then, the economy was much more dependent on oil as an input to a lot of different economic activity.
ARNOLD: Like, say, manufacturing. But these days, it's different. Most companies don't use much oil. Most people don't heat their houses with oil anymore. Those big signs at gas stations make us notice the price of gasoline all the time. But Bushnell says most cars and trucks are way more fuel efficient these days.
BUSHNELL: The rule of thumb is the average customer uses about 400 gallons per year. And so when the price goes up by a dollar a gallon, we're looking at another $400. That's not nothing for people.
ARNOLD: But that is an average, so some people barely drive at all, while others have long commutes, maybe in rural areas, and they're getting hit much harder, not to mention people who drive all day long for a living.
ARJENIS DOMINGUEZ: I need to use the gas every day for making money.
ARNOLD: Back at the gas station, Arjenis Dominguez is an Uber driver who's filling up his big Toyota Highlander SUV.
And is that a hybrid or no?
DOMINGUEZ: No, that's not a hybrid.
ARNOLD: So you're burning some gas.
DOMINGUEZ: Yeah, a lot (laughter) maybe $50 or $60 per day.
ARNOLD: Sixty bucks a day adds up quick. But Dominguez says he's working more with the pandemic winding down, and he's a young single guy without a lot of expenses. So he says he's just trying not to worry too much about gas prices.
DOMINGUEZ: I don't care. I'm trying to live life every day.
ARNOLD: And if it gets too expensive to live in Boston, he's got a pretty good-sounding backup plan.
DOMINGUEZ: If I can't live through here, I come back to my city, bro, Dominican Republic. I can live in my place with less money than here (ph).
ARNOLD: Of course, gas prices are up so high because Russia is invading Ukraine. A recent Wall Street Journal poll found that 79% of Americans supported a ban on Russian oil imports to the U.S., even if that means higher gas prices.
Chris Arnold, NPR News. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
NPR correspondent Chris Arnold is based in Boston. His reports are heard regularly on NPR's award-winning newsmagazines Morning Edition, All Things Considered, and Weekend Edition. He joined NPR in 1996 and was based in San Francisco before moving to Boston in 2001.
See stories by Chris Arnold | slim_pajama |
Calculating ratio of conjugate base and acid when pH and pKa are given
>
> Buffer solutions are used by biological mammalian systems to maintain the $\mathrm{pH}$ of blood plasma within a narrow range. In these systems, the compound from which this solution is obtained is $\ce{CO2}$, produced in cell respiration, which is converted into $\ce{HCO3-}$ and $\ce{H2CO3}$ inside the red blood cells. Using the Henderson-Hasselbalch equation, answer: $\mathrm{p}K\_\mathrm{a} = 6.35$. What is the ratio between $\ce{HCO3-}$ and $\ce{H2CO3}$ in a blood sample with $\mathrm{pH} = 7.4$?
>
>
>
The problem is I try to make the exercise in this way:
$$\mathrm{pH}= \mathrm{p}K\_\mathrm{a} + \log \left(\frac{\ce{[HCO3-]}}{\ce{[H2CO3]}} \right)$$
BUT in the solution they make $$\mathrm{pH} =\mathrm{p}K\_\mathrm{a} - \log \dfrac{[\ce{HCO3-}]}{[\ce{H2CO3}]}$$
They make the inverse of $$\mathrm{pH} = \mathrm{p}K\_\mathrm{a} + \log \dfrac{[\ce{H2CO3}]}{[\ce{HCO3-}]}$$
And this don't make sense for me. I don't understand.
The solution given is in the white box on the left side.
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/7Nx8u.jpg)
Recall the fundamental properties of the logarithm
$$+\log \left(\frac{a}{b}\right)$$
is the same as
$$-\log \left(\frac{b}{a}\right)$$
so Henderson Hasselbach can have plus or minus signs. The correct equation is
$$\mathrm{pH} = \mathrm{p}K\_\mathrm{a} + \log \left(\frac{\text{conjugate base}}{\text{acid}}\right)$$
or
$$\mathrm{pH} = \mathrm{p}K\_\mathrm{a} - \log \left(\frac{\text{acid}}{\text{conjugate base}}\right)$$
Now sort out whether the textbook solution is right or not.
Important is the knowledge how $K\_\mathrm{a}$ is defined:
$$K\_\mathrm{a}=\frac{\ce{[H+][A-]}}{\ce{[HA]}}$$
If we perform logarithmization, we get:
$$\log{K\_\mathrm{a}}=\log{\ce{[H+]}} + \log{\frac{\ce{[A-]}}{\ce{[HA]}}}$$
If we apply the operator $\mathrm{p}X = - \log{X}$:
$$\mathrm{p}K\_\mathrm{a}=\mathrm{pH} -\log{\frac{\ce{[A-]}} {\ce{[HA]}}}$$
respectively
$$\mathrm{pH} = \mathrm{p}K\_\mathrm{a} + \log{\frac{\ce{[A-]}} {\ce{[HA]}}}$$
In our case, $\ce{HA = H2CO3}$ and $\ce{A- = HCO3-}$.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Toppling Of an Object [closed]
**Closed.** This question is [off-topic](/help/closed-questions). It is not currently accepting answers.
---
Homework-like questions should **ask about a specific physics concept** and **show some effort** to work through the problem. We want our questions to be useful to the broader community, and to future users. See [our meta site](https://physics.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/714/) for more guidance on how to edit your question to make it better
Closed 7 years ago.
[Improve this question](/posts/231263/edit)
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/yCYu1.png)
I did not understand the following steps regarding calculation of minimum force F required to topple object about point A.
Total Torque = Fb - mga/2
If torque>0 then body topples.
What i did not understand is that how he got the term 'mga/2'. Also at the time when the body is about to topple the normal reaction will be acting at the edge A and so, wont the torque of this force about point A be zero?
Could someone please help me out.
You should also note that static friction acts on the body when it is about to topple. Friction acts along the ground so it's torque about A is also 0.
Torque due to F is clockwise and torque due to mg is counter-clockwise. Since **torque= lever arm \* force** (or in vector form $\vec{\tau}=\vec{r}x\vec{F}$), torque due to mg is $mg\frac{a}{2}$. So net torque is $Fb-mg\frac{a}{2}$ in the clockwise about A.
**A more detailed analysis:**
Since the block is right now in equilibrium, balancing forces along the horizontal and vertical :$F=f, N=mg$.
Now balancing the torque about the center of mass of the body, torque due to $mg$ is 0 (moment arm is 0), due to $N$ is $N\frac{a}{2}$ and due to $F$ and $f$ is $F\frac{b}{2}$ and $f\frac{b}{2}$ respectively. Using the relations mentioned above, you can see that the expression for the net torque remains the same.
You can try this yourself for any point you wish to consider. (Since the net force on the block is 0, the expression for torque will be same for all points).
| stackexchange/physics |
most patients with scf are debilitated with recurrent chest pain , commonly resulting in repeated hospital admissions.1 ) however , the pathophysiology and clinical implications of scf are not fully understood .
it is likely that endothelial inflammation and microvascular vasomotor dysfunction are associated with scf pathophysiology.2 - 8 ) some reports have suggested that scf might be caused by atherosclerotic changes in the coronary artery microvasculature and could be an early marker of subclinical atherosclerosis.9 ) non - invasive and simple diagnostic tools have been developed to detect subclinical atherosclerosis
. intima - media thickness ( imt ) of the carotid artery reflects atherosclerotic changes and strongly correlates with the presence and extent of coronary artery disease.10)11 ) arterial stiffness is also an important aspect of atherosclerosis related to vessel function that can be evaluated noninvasively by measuring pulse wave velocity ( pwv ) , which is reportedly associated with the severity of vascular damage.12 ) many studies in different populations have shown that these are good parameters that indicate the degree of vascular atherosclerosis.11)12 ) we hypothesized that scf is related to coronary artery atherosclerosis , so we compared carotid imt and pwv between an scf and normal coronary flow ( ncf ) patient groups .
we included 101 consecutive patients who complained of chest pain but showed no significant coronary stenosis on coronary angiography .
a complete history , as well as physical and laboratory examinations , were obtained from all patients before performing the coronary angiography .
hypertension was defined as systolic blood pressure 140 mm hg or diastolic blood pressure 90 mm hg or current use of antihypertensive agents .
diabetes was defined as the use of insulin , oral hypoglycemic agents , or a fasting plasma glucose level of 126 mg / dl .
after the coronary angiogram , we confirmed the clinical diagnosis and categorized the patient as follows : acute myocardial infarction , unstable angina , microvascular angina , noncardiac chest pain , or congestive heart failure .
the definition of acute myocardial infarct was a typical rise and/or gradual fall ( troponin ) or a more rapid rise and fall ( creatine kinase - mb fraction ) of biochemical markers of myocardial necrosis , with at least one ischemic symptom ( chest pain ) or electrocardiogram ( ecg ) changes indicative of ischemia .
unstable angina was considered as ischemic symptoms ( chest pain ) and no elevation in bio - chemical markers with ecg changes ( new 1 mm or greater st - segment depression or t - wave inversion in multiple precordial leads ) .
the definition of microvascular angina required ischemic symptoms ( chest pain ) but no elevation in biochemical markers with the following ecg changes : st - segment depression of 0.5 - 1 mm , t - wave flattening , or inver - sion < 1 mm in the lead with a dominant r wave .
the non - cardiac chest pain group complained of ischemic symptoms ( chest pain ) but no elevation in biochemical markers and a normal or unchanged ecg .
coronary angiography was performed with the radial or femoral approach using the standard judkins technique .
coronary arteries were shown in the left and right oblique planes and in cranial and caudal angulations .
the thrombolysis in myocardial infarction frame count ( timi frame count , tfc ) was obtained by the method of gibson et al.13 ) the first frame used for counting was the first frame in which dye fully entered the artery .
the last frame counted was the one in which dye first entered the end point branch off the target artery .
the follow - ing distal landmark branches of the target artery were used for the analysis : the distal bifurcation in the left anterior descending artery ( lad ) , the distal bifurcation of the segment with the longest total distance in the left circumflex artery ( lcx ) , and the first branch of the posterolateral artery in the right coronary artery ( rca ) .
because the length of the lad is anatomically longer than that of the lcx and rca , the lad frame counts were corrected by dividing by 1.7 to obtain a corrected tfc , as previously reported.13 ) we calculated the mean tfc for the lad , lcx , and rca .
all participants with a mean tfc greater than two standard deviations from mean tfc in the noncardiac chest pain subgroup were considered to have scf , whereas those with a value below this threshold were considered to have ncf .
the carotid imt was calculated by ultrasound equipment with a linear transducer ( 12-mhz , vivid 7 dimension , ge healthcare , piscataway , nj , usa ) .
the right and left common carotid arteries were scanned in a longitudinal plane with loss of the parallel configuration of the near and far walls of the common carotid artery .
the reference point for measuring imt was the beginning of the dilatation of the carotid bulb in the bifurcation area .
the imt was measured manually as the thickest point of the transition zone between the lumenintima and media - adventitia , 1 cm proximal to the reference point along at least 1 cm of axial length.14 ) the values for each carotid artery were averaged to obtain the mean carotid imt .
we measured pwv on the left and right side using a vasera vs-1000 instrument ( fukuda denshi co. ltd , tokyo , japan ) , which simultaneously records pwv , blood pressure , ecg and heart sounds .
the pwv is theoretically calculated as the distance from two sites over the pulse transit time .
the time interval between the brachium and the ankle ( tba ; pulse wave transit time ) was defined as the time interval between the wave front of the brachial waveform and that of the ankle wave form .
the distance between sampling points was calculated automatically according to subject height . the path length from the heart to the brachium ( lb ) was expressed using the following equation : lb=0.2195height of the patient ( cm)-2.0734.15 ) the path length from the heart to the ankle ( la ) was expressed using the following equation : la=0.8129height of the patient ( cm)+12.328.15 ) finally , the pwv was calculated from the following equation : pwv=(la - lb)/tba.15 ) the mean pwv value was calculated as the average of both pwv values .
the statistical analysis was performed using the general linear model in jmp7.0 software ( sas inc . , cary , nc , usa ) .
the categorical variables were compared with pearson 's chi - square test and an analysis of variance .
continuous variables are expressed as the meanstandard deviation ( sd ) , and the independent t - test was used to compare the two groups .
the pearson 's correlation test was used to determine the correlation between the tfc and the carotid imt .
we included 101 consecutive patients who complained of chest pain but showed no significant coronary stenosis on coronary angiography .
a complete history , as well as physical and laboratory examinations , were obtained from all patients before performing the coronary angiography .
hypertension was defined as systolic blood pressure 140 mm hg or diastolic blood pressure 90 mm hg or current use of antihypertensive agents .
diabetes was defined as the use of insulin , oral hypoglycemic agents , or a fasting plasma glucose level of 126 mg / dl .
after the coronary angiogram , we confirmed the clinical diagnosis and categorized the patient as follows : acute myocardial infarction , unstable angina , microvascular angina , noncardiac chest pain , or congestive heart failure .
the definition of acute myocardial infarct was a typical rise and/or gradual fall ( troponin ) or a more rapid rise and fall ( creatine kinase - mb fraction ) of biochemical markers of myocardial necrosis , with at least one ischemic symptom ( chest pain ) or electrocardiogram ( ecg ) changes indicative of ischemia .
unstable angina was considered as ischemic symptoms ( chest pain ) and no elevation in bio - chemical markers with ecg changes ( new 1 mm or greater st - segment depression or t - wave inversion in multiple precordial leads ) .
the definition of microvascular angina required ischemic symptoms ( chest pain ) but no elevation in biochemical markers with the following ecg changes : st - segment depression of 0.5 - 1 mm , t - wave flattening , or inver - sion < 1 mm in the lead with a dominant r wave .
the non - cardiac chest pain group complained of ischemic symptoms ( chest pain ) but no elevation in biochemical markers and a normal or unchanged ecg .
coronary angiography was performed with the radial or femoral approach using the standard judkins technique .
coronary arteries were shown in the left and right oblique planes and in cranial and caudal angulations .
the thrombolysis in myocardial infarction frame count ( timi frame count , tfc ) was obtained by the method of gibson et al.13 ) the first frame used for counting was the first frame in which dye fully entered the artery .
the last frame counted was the one in which dye first entered the end point branch off the target artery .
the follow - ing distal landmark branches of the target artery were used for the analysis : the distal bifurcation in the left anterior descending artery ( lad ) , the distal bifurcation of the segment with the longest total distance in the left circumflex artery ( lcx ) , and the first branch of the posterolateral artery in the right coronary artery ( rca ) . because the length of the lad is anatomically longer than that of the lcx and rca , the lad frame counts were corrected by dividing by 1.7 to obtain a corrected tfc , as previously reported.13 ) we calculated the mean tfc for the lad , lcx , and rca .
all participants with a mean tfc greater than two standard deviations from mean tfc in the noncardiac chest pain subgroup were considered to have scf , whereas those with a value below this threshold were considered to have ncf .
the carotid imt was calculated by ultrasound equipment with a linear transducer ( 12-mhz , vivid 7 dimension , ge healthcare , piscataway , nj , usa ) .
the right and left common carotid arteries were scanned in a longitudinal plane with loss of the parallel configuration of the near and far walls of the common carotid artery .
the reference point for measuring imt was the beginning of the dilatation of the carotid bulb in the bifurcation area .
the imt was measured manually as the thickest point of the transition zone between the lumenintima and media - adventitia , 1 cm proximal to the reference point along at least 1 cm of axial length.14 ) the values for each carotid artery were averaged to obtain the mean carotid imt .
we measured pwv on the left and right side using a vasera vs-1000 instrument ( fukuda denshi co. ltd , tokyo , japan ) , which simultaneously records pwv , blood pressure , ecg and heart sounds .
the pwv is theoretically calculated as the distance from two sites over the pulse transit time .
the time interval between the brachium and the ankle ( tba ; pulse wave transit time ) was defined as the time interval between the wave front of the brachial waveform and that of the ankle wave form .
the distance between sampling points was calculated automatically according to subject height . the path length from the heart to the brachium ( lb )
was expressed using the following equation : lb=0.2195height of the patient ( cm)-2.0734.15 ) the path length from the heart to the ankle ( la ) was expressed using the following equation : la=0.8129height of the patient ( cm)+12.328.15 ) finally , the pwv was calculated from the following equation : pwv=(la - lb)/tba.15 ) the mean pwv value was calculated as the average of both pwv values .
the statistical analysis was performed using the general linear model in jmp7.0 software ( sas inc . , cary , nc , usa ) .
the categorical variables were compared with pearson 's chi - square test and an analysis of variance .
continuous variables are expressed as the meanstandard deviation ( sd ) , and the independent t - test was used to compare the two groups .
the pearson 's correlation test was used to determine the correlation between the tfc and the carotid imt .
the clinical characteristics of the 101 patients in this study are summarized in table 1 .
overall , 54% of the subjects had hypertension , 28% had diabetes mellitus ( dm ) , and 42% were smokers .
eighty - six patients were categorized into the ncf group , and 15 patients in the scf group .
male patients ( n= 11 , 73.3% ) were significantly more common in the scf group than those in the ncf group ( n=37 , 43.0% , p<0.05 ) .
however , age , presence of dm , hypertension , and lowdensity lipoprotein levels did not differ between the ncf and scf groups .
smoking tended to be more common in the scf group , but the difference was not statistically significant ( table 2 ) .
a significant difference was observed in the clinical diagnoses between the scf and ncf groups .
microvascular angina was the most common clinical diagnosis ( n=11 , 73.3% ) in the scf group , whereas non - cardiac chest pain was the most common diagnosis in the ncf group ( n=41 , 47.7% ) .
the tfc was 28.83.5 frames in the scf group and 15.74.5 frames in the ncf group ( table 2 ) .
in particular , the tfc increased significantly in a subgroup with microvascular angina ( 21.8 7.8 frame count ) , compared to that in the other clinical subgroups ( fig .
the tfc in male patients tended to be higher than that of female patients ( 18.97.0 vs. 16.65.5 , respectively ) , but the result was not statistically significant .
the tfc was not different with the presence of other risk factors , such as dm , hypertension , or smoking .
carotid imt was positively correlated with tfc ( r=0.40 , p<0.001 ) , but no significant correlation was found between pwv and tfc ( fig .
carotid imt increased significantly in the scf group compared to that in the ncf group ( 1.2 0.3 mm and 0.80.1 mm , respectively , p<0.01 ) .
however , no difference was found in the pwv between the scf and ncf groups ( scf ; 14.12.4 m / s , ncf ; 14.52.8 m / s ) ( fig .
the clinical characteristics of the 101 patients in this study are summarized in table 1 .
overall , 54% of the subjects had hypertension , 28% had diabetes mellitus ( dm ) , and 42% were smokers .
eighty - six patients were categorized into the ncf group , and 15 patients in the scf group .
male patients ( n= 11 , 73.3% ) were significantly more common in the scf group than those in the ncf group ( n=37 , 43.0% , p<0.05 ) .
however , age , presence of dm , hypertension , and lowdensity lipoprotein levels did not differ between the ncf and scf groups .
smoking tended to be more common in the scf group , but the difference was not statistically significant ( table 2 ) .
a significant difference was observed in the clinical diagnoses between the scf and ncf groups .
microvascular angina was the most common clinical diagnosis ( n=11 , 73.3% ) in the scf group , whereas non - cardiac chest pain was the most common diagnosis in the ncf group ( n=41 , 47.7% ) .
the tfc was 28.83.5 frames in the scf group and 15.74.5 frames in the ncf group ( table 2 ) .
in particular , the tfc increased significantly in a subgroup with microvascular angina ( 21.8 7.8 frame count ) , compared to that in the other clinical subgroups ( fig .
the tfc in male patients tended to be higher than that of female patients ( 18.97.0 vs. 16.65.5 , respectively ) , but the result was not statistically significant .
the tfc was not different with the presence of other risk factors , such as dm , hypertension , or smoking .
carotid imt was positively correlated with tfc ( r=0.40 , p<0.001 ) , but no significant correlation was found between pwv and tfc ( fig .
carotid imt increased significantly in the scf group compared to that in the ncf group ( 1.2 0.3 mm and 0.80.1 mm , respectively , p<0.01 ) .
however , no difference was found in the pwv between the scf and ncf groups ( scf ; 14.12.4 m / s , ncf ; 14.52.8 m / s ) ( fig .
after the first description of the scf phenomenon in six patients with typical angina pectoris by tambe et al.2 ) scf has been widely recognized during routine coronary angiography .
scf reveals various clinical presentations such as unstable angina , acute myocardial infarction , ventricular tachycardia , hypertrophic cardiomyopathy , and microvascular angina.1)16)17 ) camsari et al.9 ) used intravascular ultrasound to show that diffuse intimal thickening of the coronary arteries and carotid imt are correlated with tfc in patients with scf.18 ) some reports have suggested that homocysteine , a well - known factor associated with generalized atherosclerosis , increases in patients with scf.14 ) in other reports , simvastatin restores endothelial function and improves myocardial perfusion in patients with scf.19 ) these findings suggest that diffuse atherosclerosis may play a role in the pathophysiology of scf .
similar to previous studies , our findings showed that tfc was positively correlated with the degree of carotid imt , and that carotid imt increased more significantly in the scf group than that in the ncf group . according to these findings
, it seems that the degree of atherosclerosis is a determining factor of scf . in our study
, scf was defined as a tfc greater than 25 frames ( filmed at 15 frames per second ) .
this is extreme scf compared to previous studies.9)13)14 ) imt of the carotid arteries in the scf group increased greater in our results than those of other reports.13)14)20 ) these findings indicate that our subjects were more severe cases of scf .
the results also showed no difference in the pwv between the scf and ncf groups .
pwv is considered a good indicator of the degree of atherosclerosis ; however ; compared to imt , it seems to be less sensitive for coronary artery atherosclerosis .
similar to the present study , research on the relationship between carotid imt , brachial - ankle pwv ( bapwv ) , and the severity of coronary artery atherosclerosis , showed a relatively good correlation between carotid imt and the gensini score , which is a measure of the coronary artery disease severity , whereas bapwv correlated only weakly with this score.21 ) that is , carotid imt reveals the degree of atherosclerosis in coronary arteries , and it may be more suitable for evaluating coronary microcirculation than bapwv.21 - 23 ) however , the reason for the different correlation in carotid imt and bapwv is unclear .
because scf is associated with coronary atherosclerosis , it can be influenced by various cardiovascular risk factors such as gender , age , dm , hypertension , hyperlipidemia , and smoking .
however , no significant differences were observed for age , gender , hypertension , dm , smoking , and total cholesterol in a series of 50 patients with scf.9 ) in another report , 47 patients with scf also showed no significant differences in risk factors from the control group.1 ) furthermore , we found no significant difference in the risk factors between the scf and the ncf groups , except for gender .
although conventional cardiovascular risk factors reflect an advanced stage of atherosclerosis , we found no significant difference in conventional cardiovascular risk factors between the scf and ncf groups .
thus , it is possible that risk factors other than conventional cardiovascular risk factors are present in patients with scf .
first , we showed a correlation between scf and carotid imt and the possibility of atherosclerosis in coronary microvasculature , but we did not directly assay the myocardial microvasculature itself to evaluate the degree of atherosclerosis .
a pathological comparison in patients with scf will help in the understanding of the scf mechanism .
second , because we included a small number of patients , some difficulties were encountered when identifying the characteristics of the cardiovascular risk factors .
a large multi - center based clinical trial is needed to identify clinical characteristics and to manage patients with coronary microvascular dysfunction .
the results showed that scf in patients with a normal angiogram may reflect early atherosclerotic changes in the coronary microcirculation before the development of epicardial coronary artery atherosclerosis . | pubmed |
Why can't we determine the trajectory of an electron?
When I was learning about indeterminacy, my teacher wasn't quite clear on why the trajectories of electrons were indeterministic. He made mention of the fact that we cannot know both the position and velocity simultaneously and they are needed in order to calculate trajectories. After that, he just said something briefly about two tennis balls, which when hit with the same force and under the same conditions, were landing on the same spot. Then he said electrons would behave differently (randomly) even when placed under similar conditions. So, Is the trajectory of an electron indeterministic due to our inability to know both the position and velocity of the electron simultaneously or due to the fact that electrons, under similar conditions, do behave differently?
**TL;DR** it‘s the inability to know the precise location and the precise velocity *at the same time* that causes the trajectories to be indeterministic (as you called it).
In this answer, I deliberately avoid any mathematics but try to explain the situation in layman terms. I hope it’s not too sloppy.
In QM everything you can possibly know about the electron is „encoded“ in its wave function. Preparing the initial condition of an electron in an experiment means fixing its wave function.
As an example: when electrons are sent through a hole (or a slit) you fix the position of the electrons to the location of the hole. After passing the hole, you can tell the position of the electron with an uncertainty that corresponds to the diameter of the hole. The smaller the hole, the more precisely you know the electron’s position. For the wave functions, this means: if you make the hole smaller you reduce the number of wave functions that are compatible with this initial setup (I know, it‘s an infinite number of wave functions but you get the gist of it).
In another experimental setup, you could prepare electrons to have a very specific velocity (it’s a bit harder to imagine such an apparatus, but it is actually possible to build one). Again, after passing this apparatus, you can tell the velocity of the electron only with some defined uncertainty.
(In your question you used the term velocity. The relevant physical property is *momentum*. But in this context the difference does not really matter).
Now consider the following experimental setup: first, you fix the velocity of the electron and after that its position. You would hope that all electrons passing through such a double apparatus would follow exactly the same trajectory afterward because the trajectory is completely determined by position and velocity at a specific point in time.
In QM, however, this does not work. The reason is Heisenberg's uncertainty principle which provides a fundamental property of wave functions in general: wave functions that correspond to a more precisely known position are unfortunately the very same that correspond to less well-known velocities and vice versa.
This is what happens in the double apparatus: after the first step, all electrons have wave functions that correspond to well-known velocities. When those electrons enter the hole, the process of fixing the position *inevitably modifies* the wave functions from “well-known-velocity“-wave functions to „well-known-position“-wave functions. This is called *collapse* of the wave function. It is called collapse because it reduces the number of wave functions that are compatible with the specific situation.
Remark: this ominous „collapse“ of a wave function is, to this day, ominous. It is highly disputed, essentially not understood and in general, considered to be a quite unsatisfactory concept.
Even for the 2 balls, one would not be able to have "exactly" everything equal in the beginning. So you can determine the trajectory of electrons quite well, even if the initial place and velocity are only known with the difference calculated by h. but you would be glad to determine the path of a ball so it would only differ by h. The path of your ball is also uncertain. With the small electron, this uncertainty is more visible than with the ball, but the general trajectory ist not fully unknown, If you know how an oscilloscope functions, you "see" the path of an e.
Electrons 'live' in quantum systems. So let's look at a simple (and highly educational) quantum system: an electron in $1D$ box with infinitely high walls:
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/brFw8.png)
If the electron was a Classical object, like a tennis ball, it would (in the absence of all friction) simply bounce back and forth between left and right wall for all of eternity. **Its position and velocity would always be completely predictable** (even at different kinetic energies)
But an electron isn't a tennis ball and doesn't behave like one.
Quantum systems have an associated wave function (usually denoted $\psi$) which contains all the information about the particle and is obtained by solving the Schrödinger equation, here:
$$-\frac{\hbar^2}{2m}\frac{\text{d}^2\psi(x)}{\text{d}x^2}=E\psi(x)$$
For:
$$V(x)=+\infty\text{ for }x\leq 0$$
$$V(x)=+\infty\text{ for }x\geq L$$
$$\psi(0)=\psi(L)=0$$
The [complete derivation and solution can be found here](https://chem.libretexts.org/Bookshelves/Physical_and_Theoretical_Chemistry_Textbook_Maps/Supplemental_Modules_(Physical_and_Theoretical_Chemistry)/Quantum_Mechanics/05.5%3A_Particle_in_Boxes/Particle_in_a_1-Dimensional_box) but need not concern us now.
The wave functions for $n=1,2,3,...$ are:
$$\psi\_n(x)=\sqrt{\frac{2}{L}}\sin\Big(\frac{n\pi}{L}x\Big)$$
The wave functions for $n=1$ and $2$:
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/HMCAR.png)
The associated *quantised* energy levels:
$$E\_n = \dfrac{n^{2}h^{2}}{8mL^{2}}$$
Note that a $\text{zero level}$ energy is not allowed (it would also violate the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle)
The *probability density functions* according to Born:
$$P(x)=|\psi(x)|^2=\frac{2}{L}\sin^2\Big(\frac{n\pi}{L}x\Big)$$
The probability density functions for $n=1$ and $2$:
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/JJvH4.png)
The **probability of finding the electron** on a interval $(x,x+\Delta x)$ is given by:
$$\boxed{P(x\to \Delta x)=\int\_x^{x+\Delta x}\frac{2}{L}\sin^2\Big(\frac{n\pi}{L}x\Big)\text{d}x}\tag{1}$$
For $\Delta x=0$, the probability is $\text{zero}$, which is in accordance with the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. The probability of finding the particle in a single point (say $x$) is in fact $\text{zero}$.
**So the position of a electron in this quantum system is neither 'random' nor 'undetermined' but is in accordance with $(1)$. This principle applies also for many other quantum systems, atoms and molecules included. The term 'trajectory' is fairly meaningless when talking about quantum systems.** Instead we can (very accurately) calculate the probability of finding the particle in a area of space (here $\Delta x$)
| stackexchange/physics |
Resident Evil Blues Clues: Dead Aim
Joe opened his eyes wide and looked around. "I gotta find a clue, just for blue. Love to find clues just for Blue. Where is the clue?"
"ON THE CEILING!" a bunch of childlike voices said.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!" Joe screamed.
"Its just us!" the voices said.
"I'M JUST LOOKING FOR A CLUE AND I HEAR VOICES!" Joe shrieked. He laid down on the floor in a fetal position and put his hands to his hears. He closed his eyes and said to him self. "This is all a dream, in a moment I will be okay. The voices will die!"
"What are you talking about Joe?" the children said.
"STOP FUCKING TALKING TO ME! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" he shouted.
Suddenly another voice, a much deeper voice said, "All you have to do is get a big gun and shoot them all!" So he did, Joe got a gun from an old pervert running a comic book store. Joe bought the gun while the old pervert named "Clancy" was looking at child pornography and nude photos of Dianna Troy from Star Trek. The old pervert smelled like cheese and used cigarettes butts. But Joe did not care, all he cared about was killing all the voices. Joe's eyes were blood shot and his fingernails were long and dirty. His hair was frizzy and messed up. He bought a rusty old shot gun and a box of bullets. The old pervert smiled and winked at him like a bright eyed school girl. He was missing quite a lot of teeth, and all the ones that were there were jagged and yellow and orange. In fact you could see all the colors of the rainbows in his mouth. Joe walked out of the stink comic book shop and passed a blue paw print on his way out. As Joe walked away the store read "Comics'n'Guns and Shit" he pulled out his gun. He cocked it, he looked around and felt a little tickle in his chest. He started to crack up. He saw an old woman walk down the side walk, she had bird poop all over her messy wool shawl. He pointed the gun to her and blew her away. Feathers flew everyway. Joe laughed in utter insanity. He ran home to his house and slammed the door with a clap of thunder.
"Hi Joe!" the voices said. Joe looked around and saw nothing. He cocked the gun and started to fire everywhere.
"DIE DEMONS!!!!" he shouted.
"Rough Rough" Blue said. She rubbed her head against his leg and he turned around.
"DIE BITCH!!!" he shot Blue in the chest. She suddenly was not so blue anymore. He saw her bloody corps on the floor. He shot her more and more, until she was nothing more than pieces of animated K-9. Her parts scattered like the pieces of a blown up Barbie doll that my friend Darcy had killed so many times. He turned around and then heard a growl. The dead blue had rose and growled at him. She chased after him and he ran into the kitchen and out the door. He walked out in the backward and a sudden downpoor of rain drenched his clothing. He walked and then saw the ground rise up. Steve's mangled corps stood up.
"YOU STOLE MY SHOW YOU SHOW STEALING BOY TOY!" dead Steve said in a monotone voice.
"DIE DEVIL!" Joe screamed. He shot Steve several times but Steve just kept walking further. Joe could barely hear himself cocking his gun due the pounding rain. Steve's shirt was covered in gore.
"BLUE SCADOO…. WE CAN DOO!!!!!!" Steve screamed. Joe shot him 3 more times with 3 loud bangs. "You got gore on my green sweater. Now you will pay!!!! $10.95 for dry cleaning!"
"I WILL PAY NOTHING!" Joe shouted. He shot Steve's head clean off. "I killed them all." Suddenly a vicious pack of zombies, hunters, and mutant dogs attacked Joe. The ripped him limb from limb. Eating him.
Umbrella Corporation
The only corporation that will destroy any smut from the airways. And have fun doing it. So for the last and final time. "YOUR ALL GOING TO DIE DOWN HERE".
End file.
| fanfiction |
as far back as the fifth century bc hippocrates noted seasonal variation in
exacerbations of asthma .
seasonal patterns
have been described for asthma mortality , hospital admissions and emergency
department visits [ 25 ] , the variation being ascribed to seasonal
variation in exposure to ambient allergens , respiratory infections and
meteorological changes [ 4 , 6 ] . in older adults , asthma mortality and
hospital admissions
are more common during the winter months ( possibly
explained by infections ) , and in the younger adult population ( a
more atopic generation ) are more common in periods of high
ambient allergen load ( grass in the spring and summer ; mould in the late summer
and autumn ) . however , to date
, no large study has described seasonal variation in population - based
asthmatics who also have information on ige sensitisation .
small panel studies
suggest asthma severity is worse in the pollen season in those sensitised to grass
[ 8 , 9 ] and in winter in those sensitised to house dust mite .
asthmatics presenting to accident and
emergency departments in spain in early summer ( may june ) were more
likely to be sensitised to grass than those presenting in other months .
similarly , mild , near fatal and fatal
asthma has been associated with sensitisation to alternaria in
months where alternaria levels are high [ 12 , 13 ] . in this report
we use information collected from participants in the european
community respiratory health survey ( ecrhs ) , a large multicentre
international study of young to middle - aged adults living in differing climatic
regions and in countries with marked variation in the prevalence of sensitisation to
environmental allergens .
the aim is to
describe seasonal variation in asthma exacerbations in those who are and are not
sensitised to aeroallergens , to quantify the risk and to assess whether seasonal
patterns are consistent between countries .
the ecrhs i recruited a random sample of
at least 3000 adults aged 2044 years , identified from a population - based
sampling frame in each participating centre .
each was sent a postal questionnaire
and a random sample of responders plus a sample of those with symptoms suggestive of
asthma ( symptomatic sample ) were invited for further tests .
the postal
survey , the clinical interview ( at which skin - prick tests ( spts ) were
performed and blood samples taken ) and the testing of samples for serum ige
were conducted between 19911993 .
overall , 41 centres in 16 countries and on three continents ( europe , north
america and australasia ) followed the full protocol .
of the 24 115 participants
( random and symptomatic sample ) , 3353 ( 13.9% ) reported
they ever had asthma .
of the participants that reported they
ever had asthma 3151 ( 94.0% ) provided a complete
response to the question which months of the year do you usually have attacks
of asthma ? ( with a response of no or yes to
each of the six bimonthly periods : january / february , march / april , may / june ,
july / august ,
in one centre ( iceland ) , the number of
asthmatics with positive spts was insufficient for statistical analysis , leaving
2637 asthmatics with information on seasonality and spts ( 2023 with serum
specific ige and total ige measures ) ( online supplementary figure
s1 ) .
spts to timothy grass , dermatophagoides pteronyssinus ( house
dust mite ) , cat , cladosporium herbarum , alternaria
alternata , birch and common ragweed were performed using phazets ,
lancets precoated with standardised lyophilised allergen extracts ( pharmacia
diagnostics ab , uppsala , sweden ) .
spts were considered positive if the mean
wheal diameter ( mwd ) was > 0 mm .
serum samples were tested for specific ige ( timothy grass ,
house dust mite , cat and cladosporium plus birch in northern
europe , parietaria in southern europe , and ragweed in australia and
the usa ) using the pharmacia cap system ( pharmacia diagnostics ab ) .
due to regulatory and ethical constraints , spt
to timothy grass was not performed in germany . ethical permission to conduct the
study
each participant was considered to have taken part in six surveys : one asking if
they experienced asthma attacks in january / february , another in which they were
asked whether they experienced attacks in march / april and so on . a marginal
logistic regression model for binary outcomes , based on generalised estimating
equations ,
was used to generate the risk of reporting a particular 2-month
period was associated with attacks of asthma ( with january / february as the
reference category ) .
this method , which is appropriate for dealing with
longitudinal and other correlated binary response data , generates robust
estimators regardless of the specification of the covariance matrix and , as
autocorrelation is included in the covariance , coefficients can be interpreted
as usual .
the bimonthly periods were shifted 6 months forward for australian and
new zealand centres to allow seasonal comparison across the two hemispheres . to examine whether these patterns were different in those who were and
were not
sensitised , an interaction term ( positive spt to specific allergen no / yes
the six bimonthly periods ) was included giving a total of five
interaction terms for each model .
where there was evidence of effect
modification by sensitisation , analyses were repeated stratified by
sensitisation status . throughout , adjustments for age , sex and sensitisation to
the allergens not under assessment ( four of house dust mite , grass , cat ,
alternaria and birch ) were included .
analyses were conducted within countries , but as there were insufficient data
within each country to identify patterns clearly , results from each country were
combined using meta - analytical techniques . risk estimates for each country
within each of the three continents were combined in a random effects
meta - analysis and heterogeneity
tested using the q statistic and i. as there was evidence of
heterogeneity in europe , european countries were further divided into
central / north europe and south europe ( defined by 50
latitude ) . as this geopolitical method of division europe
may not fully
capture pollen exposures , we also interrogated pollen maps ( www.pollenwarndienst.at ) to divide countries into those
with 1 ) poaceae season starting before and after may or june and 2 )
countries where peak birch season levels were > 70.0
grainsm ( online supplementary table
s12 ) . in sensitivity analyses ,
this was repeated , defining a positive spt by mwd 3
mm , with sensitisation based on serum ige measures ( using both > 0.35 and
> 0.70 kul cut - offs ) , with the sample
restricted to asthmatics who reported symptoms ( wheezing , chest tightness ,
attack of shortness of breath coming on during the day at rest and waking with
shortness of breath ) or the use of asthma medication in the last 12 months
( n=2423 , 92% ) , and with inclusion of an adjustment for
the month of interview .
effect modification of seasonality of asthma attacks by
high total ige ( > 100 kul ) and reported
hay fever or nasal allergies was also assessed .
all analyses were undertaken in stata ic 10.1 ( stata software version 10.1 ;
stata corp . , college station , tx , usa ) .
each participant was considered to have taken part in six surveys : one asking if
they experienced asthma attacks in january / february , another in which they were
asked whether they experienced attacks in march / april and so on . a marginal
logistic regression model for binary outcomes , based on generalised estimating
equations ,
was used to generate the risk of reporting a particular 2-month
period was associated with attacks of asthma ( with january / february as the
reference category ) .
this method , which is appropriate for dealing with
longitudinal and other correlated binary response data , generates robust
estimators regardless of the specification of the covariance matrix and , as
autocorrelation is included in the covariance , coefficients can be interpreted
as usual .
the bimonthly periods were shifted 6 months forward for australian and
new zealand centres to allow seasonal comparison across the two hemispheres . to examine whether these patterns were different in those who were and were not
sensitised ,
an interaction term ( positive spt to specific allergen no / yes
the six bimonthly periods ) was included giving a total of five
interaction terms for each model .
where there was evidence of effect
modification by sensitisation , analyses were repeated stratified by
sensitisation status . throughout
, adjustments for age , sex and sensitisation to
the allergens not under assessment ( four of house dust mite , grass , cat ,
alternaria and birch ) were included .
analyses were conducted within countries , but as there were insufficient data
within each country to identify patterns clearly , results from each country were
combined using meta - analytical techniques .
risk estimates for each country
within each of the three continents were combined in a random effects
meta - analysis and heterogeneity
tested using the q statistic and i. as there was evidence of
heterogeneity in europe , european countries were further divided into
central / north europe and south europe ( defined by 50
latitude ) . as this geopolitical method of division europe
may not fully
capture pollen exposures , we also interrogated pollen maps ( www.pollenwarndienst.at ) to divide countries into those
with 1 ) poaceae season starting before and after may or june and 2 )
countries where peak birch season levels were > 70.0
grainsm ( online supplementary table
s12 ) . in sensitivity analyses , this was repeated , defining a positive spt by mwd 3
mm , with sensitisation based on serum ige measures ( using both > 0.35 and
> 0.70 kul cut - offs ) , with the sample
restricted to asthmatics who reported symptoms ( wheezing , chest tightness ,
attack of shortness of breath coming on during the day at rest and waking with
shortness of breath ) or the use of asthma medication in the last 12 months
( n=2423 , 92% ) , and with inclusion of an adjustment for
the month of interview .
effect modification of seasonality of asthma attacks by
high total ige ( > 100 kul ) and reported
hay fever or nasal allergies was also assessed .
all analyses were undertaken in stata ic 10.1 ( stata software version 10.1 ;
stata corp . , college station , tx , usa ) .
table 1 shows the number
( range : 43 in ireland to 387 in canada ) , age and sex distributions of
participants with self - reported asthma in each country . of these ,
the proportion of asthmatics
sensitised to each allergen varied between countries in a pattern broadly similar to
that previously reported in the general population ( table 1 ) .
allergic sensitisation to allergens associated with vegetation
( grass and birch ) , indoor allergens ( cat and dust ) and moulds
( alternaria ) was prevalent in all countries . however ,
the prevalence of sensitisation to cladosporium was low in all
countries except the usa ( n=12 , 18% ) , canada
( n=57 , 15% ) , sweden ( n=51 , 14% ) and
the uk ( n=46 , 13% ) .
similarly , the prevalence of
sensitisation to ragweed was low in most countries except canada ( n=104 ,
27% ) , the usa ( n=11 , 16% ) and the uk
( n=16 , 4% ) . the small number of participants precluded
inclusion of the usa in analyses of variation by these two allergens .
table 2 shows the proportion of
asthmatics who , when asked , reported their attacks of asthma usually occurred at
specific times of the year and the adjusted odds ratio of reported asthma attacks in
each bimonthly period . in most countries ,
most participants reported seasonal
variation in their asthma ( range : 47% sweden to 86% spain ;
median : 70% in france , switzerland , new zealand ) . in some countries
,
there was no clear overall seasonal pattern ( e.g. france ,
ireland , germany and norway ) , whereas in many countries
( e.g. spain , italy , switzerland , belgium , sweden , the usa
and australia ) a significant increased risk of reported asthma attacks was seen
in the spring or summer months ( march / april and may / june ) compared to
winter ones . in contrast , there was an overall decreased risk of asthma in the
summer months in the netherlands , the uk , canada and new zealand
( i.e. asthmatics reported their attacks of asthma usually
occurred in winter ) .
data are presented as meansd or n ( % ) ,
unless otherwise stated .
centres : spain ( barcelona , galdakao ,
albacete , oviedo and huelva ) ; italy ( pavia , turin and
verona ) ; france ( paris , grenoble , bordeaux and
montpellier ) ; switzerland ( basel ) ; germany ( hamburg
and erfurt ) ; belgium ( antwerp city and south antwerp ) ;
netherlands ( groningen , geleen and bergen - op - zoom ) ; ireland
( dublin ) ; uk ( ipswich , norwich , cambridge and
caerphilly ) ; sweden ( uppsala , umea and gothenburg ) ;
norway ( bergen ) ; usa ( portland ) ; canada
( winnepeg , vancouver , hamilton , montreal , halifax and prince edward
island ) ; new zealand ( wellington , christchurch and hawkes
bay ) ; australia ( melbourne ) . : based on serum
ige measurement .
odds ratio coefficients from generalised estimating equations models
controlling for repeated individual observations , sex and age .
: without consideration of sensitisation to
aeroallergen ; : bimonthly periods have been shifted 6
months forward to allow comparison with the northern hemisphere .
there was no evidence that sensitisation to house dust mite or cat allergens modified
the seasonal pattern of reported asthma attacks in any of the countries or
continents ( p - value for interaction of bimonthly period by sensitisation
> 0.05 , i for variation between countries < 40% )
( fig .
, there was some suggestion of effect
modification by having a positive spt to ragweed ( canada , uk ) throughout
the summer and early autumn ( p<0.05 only in september / october ) and by
having a positive spt to cladosporium in july / august ( uk ,
sweden and canada ) but formal testing showed this to be below the conventional
limits of statistical significance ( fig .
the overall adjusted odds ratio ( error bars represent 95%
confidence intervals ) of asthma usually occurring in each bimonthly
period in those sensitised to a ) house dust mite in all countries ;
b ) cat in all countries ; c ) cladosporium in
sweden , the uk and canada ; and d ) ragweed in the uk and canada .
overall
adjusted odds ratios are from meta - analysis of interaction coefficients from
generalised estimating equations models conducted within country controlling
for repeated individual observations , main effect of relevant allergen and
bimonthly periods , sex , age and sensitisation to dust mite ( for
cat ) , cat ( for house dust mite ) and grass , birch and
alternaria .
j / f : january / february ; m / a : march / april ;
m / j : may / june ; j / a : july / august ; s / o : september / october ; n / d :
november / december .
in contrast , there was evidence that seasonal variation was modified by sensitisation
to grass , birch and alternaria ( online supplementary figures
s2s4 show meta - analysis of the interaction coefficients ) . in figures 24 ,
the odds of reporting asthma
attacks in each bimonthly period are shown , stratified by sensitisation status .
there was considerable variation in europe ( for example , i for the
interaction terms for grass in may / june and birch sensitisation in march / april
within europe were 61% and 76% , respectively ) .
when europe was
considered as north and south , or divided based on available average pollen levels
over the past 15 years ( early / late poaceae season or by peak birch pollen
levels reached ) some differences still remained .
the overall adjusted odds ratio ( error bars represent 95%
confidence intervals ) of asthma usually occurring in each bimonthly
period in those sensitised to grass and in those not sensitised to grass in
a ) south europe ; b ) north europe ; c ) north america ; and
d ) australasia ( bimonthly periods have been shifted 6 months
forward to allow comparison with the northern hemisphere ) .
overall
adjusted odds ratios are from meta - analysis of bimonthly period coefficients
from generalised estimating equations models conducted within country
controlling for repeated individual observations , sex , age and sensitisation
to dust , cat , alternaria and birch .
j / f : january / february ;
m / a : march / april ; m / j : may / june ; j / a : july / august ; s / o : september / october ;
n / d : november / december . :
p - heterogeneity < 0.05 ; * :
p - value for interaction < 0.05 .
the overall adjusted odds ratio ( error bars represent 95%
confidence intervals ) of asthma usually occurring in each bimonthly
period in those with reported hay fever sensitised and not sensitised to
grass in a ) south europe ; b ) north europe ; c ) north america ;
and d ) australasia ( bimonthly periods have been shifted 6 months
forward to allow comparison with the northern hemisphere ) .
overall
adjusted odds ratios are from meta - analysis of bimonthly period coefficients
from generalised estimating equations models conducted within country
controlling for repeated individual observations , sex , age ( only among
subjects with sensitisation to dust , cat , alternaria and
birch data ) .
j / f : january / february ; m / a : march / april ; m / j : may / june ;
j / a : july / august ; s / o : september / october ; n / d : november / december .
:
p - heterogeneity < 0.05 . the overall adjusted odds ratio ( error bars represent 95%
confidence intervals ) of asthma usually occurring in each bimonthly
period in those sensitised to birch and in those not sensitised to birch in
a ) south europe ; b ) north europe ( the netherlands and ireland
were not included due to few asthmatics sensitised to birch producing a lack
of model convergence ) ; c ) north america ; and d ) australasia
( bimonthly periods have been shifted 6 months forward to allow
comparison with the northern hemisphere ) .
overall adjusted odds ratios
are from meta - analysis of bimonthly periods coefficients from generalised
estimating equations models conducted within country controlling for
repeated individual observations , sex , age and sensitisation to grass , dust ,
cat and alternaria .
j / f : january / february ; m / a :
march / april ; m / j : may / june ; j / a : july / august ; s / o : september / october ; n / d :
november / december . :
p - heterogeneity < 0.05 ; * : p - value
for interaction < 0.05 . in both south and north europe ( fig .
2a and b ) , those sensitised to grass were more likely to
report that their asthma attacks usually occur in the spring / summer periods than in
the winter period , while those who were not sensitised were more likely to report
attacks in the winter months .
for those who were grass sensitised , the higher risks
were in early summer in southern europe ( or march / april 2.60 , 95% ci
1.703.97 ; or may / june 4.43 , 95% ci 2.348.39 ) , and by
comparison , in northern europe the peak risks were relatively smaller , occurred
later and showed more variation between the countries ( or july / august 1.66 ,
95% ci 0.893.10 ; i 61% ) .
similar patterns were
seen in europe when countries were considered to have an early or late grass pollen
season ( online supplementary fig .
2c ) , the pattern was
similar to that seen for southern europe ( although all interaction terms
p>0.05 ) . in australia and new zealand ( fig .
2d ) , the effect of grass sensitisation
on asthma attacks was more complex , being different in the two countries , and
superimposed on an overall decreased risk of attacks during the summer or autumn
months .
formal testing for modification of the seasonal pattern by sensitisation to
grass was significant ( p<0.05 ) only in march / april . in all regions , the
seasonal pattern of asthma amongst those reporting
( overall , 77% of asthmatics also reported hay
fever ) was similar to that seen for grass sensitisation ( 54% of
those with hay fever also had sensitisation to grass ) ( online
supplementary fig .
s5 ) . however , this pattern was only present in those
sensitised to grass , and not seen in those who reported hay fever but who were not
sensitised to grass ( fig .
3 ) . in europe ,
asthmatics who were sensitised to birch were more likely to report that
their attacks occurred in the spring or summer than in the winter months .
the
seasonal pattern amongst those who were sensitised to birch was clearly seen in
northern europe ( or may / june 2.94 , 95% ci 1.924.50 ; or
july / august 2.01 , 95% ci 1.382.94 ) ( fig .
4b ) , although there was some variation
between countries ( e.g. or may / june 0.87 , 95% ci
0.551.37 ; i : 72% ) .
the pattern was seen in countries
where peak birch pollen levels exceeded 70.0 grainsm
( online supplementary fig .
s6 ) , but again there was some variation in the
magnitude of the effect between countries .
compared to grass sensitisation , the peak
risk in this sensitised group occurred earlier in the year ( fig 3b and fig .
some seasonal variation was also
seen in southern europe ( where birch pollen levels are generally lower ) .
there was no evidence that sensitisation to birch modified seasonal variation of
asthma attacks in north america or australasia ( all interactions p>0.05 ;
fig .
asthmatics who were sensitised to alternaria were at a greater risk
of reporting asthma attacks in may / june and july / august in southern europe
( fig .
there was some evidence of similar seasonal patterns of
reporting asthma attacks in north america ( fig .
5c ) ( formal testing for
interactions p<0.05 in july / august ) and in australasia ( fig .
the overall adjusted odds ratio ( error bars represent 95%
confidence intervals ) of asthma usually occurring in each bimonthly
period in those sensitised to alternaria and in those not
sensitised to alternaria in a ) south europe ; b )
north europe ( the netherlands , belgium , ireland and norway were not
included due to few asthmatics sensitised to alternaria
producing a lack of model convergence ) ; c ) north america ; and
d ) australasia ( bimonthly periods have been shifted 6 months
forward to allow comparison with the northern hemisphere ) .
overall
adjusted odds ratios are from meta - analysis of bimonthly periods
coefficients from generalised estimating equations models conducted within
country controlling for repeated individual observations , sex , age and
sensitisation to grass , dust , cat and birch .
j / f : january / february ; m / a :
march / april ; m / j : may / june ; j / a : july / august ; s / o : september / october ; n / d :
november / december . :
p - heterogeneity < 0.05 ; * : p - value
for interaction < 0.05 . none of the above observations were substantially altered by changing the definition
of a positive spt ( mwd 3 mm ) , by using serum specific ige to define
sensitisation ( using a cut off of 0.35 or 0.70
kul ) , by restricting the sample to those who had
asthma symptoms in the past year or by including the month of interview ( and
spt ) as a potential confounder .
furthermore , high levels of total ige
( > 100 kuml ) did not influence seasonal
variations ( data not shown ) .
this large study of > 2500 young adults with asthma shows that a substantial
proportion report seasonal variation in their attacks of asthma , and that the
pattern of the seasonal variation is dependent on whether they are sensitised to
pollens and moulds , but not indoor allergens .
asthmatics sensitised to grass , birch
and alternaria show very different seasonal patterns to those not
sensitised to these allergens .
this is most clearly seen for sensitisation to grass ,
where individuals who are sensitised report more attacks in the summer months
( most likely related to allergen exposure ) and those who are not
sensitised report more attacks in the winter months ( most likely due to the
effects of respiratory infections ) .
although these patterns are widely recognised by clinicians , to date , no
epidemiological study of this scale has described these patterns , or derived risk
estimates associated with sensitisation status in representative samples of the
asthmatic population . beyond the clear relevance for clinical practice ,
our results provide important
baseline information for risk assessment in relation to climate change and may
assist in the interpretation of health effects of outdoor air pollution on
asthma .
we would expect the seasonal pattern in those who are sensitised to pollens and mould
to mirror the patterns of exposure .
we do not have complete information on pollen
levels in all of our participating centres for the period of data collection
( 19911992 ) .
two groups ( the european academy of allergy and
clinical immunology and the international association of aerobiology ) collated
all available pollen data from europe ( 19741988 ) , which showed peak grass
( poaceae ) pollen counts occurred later in northern than southern europe ,
and in some countries ( e.g. northern italy ) were raised
well into september / october . in scandinavian countries ,
the birch pollen season
began in may , lasting at least until the end of august , while the season was
earlier , shorter and more intense in southern
the
average pollen season over the last 15 years is broadly similar to
these patterns ( www.pollenwarndienst.at )
and more recent european work confirms these temporal and geographical variations in
grass pollen [ 19 , 20 ] , birch and
mould spore counts ( alternaria and
cladosporium ) [ 22 ,
23 ] .
however , there is growing evidence
that measurement of pollen allergenicity ( a subject of research within
multicentre initiatives such as the health impacts of airborne allergen information
network ; www.hialine.com ) , rather than pollen counts , may be the
relevant exposure to explain allergen associated variations in asthma exacerbations
.
our report suggests that mortality and admissions are the tip of the
iceberg of seasonal variations in asthma .
most asthma treatment guidelines
list exposure to seasonal allergens as a potential trigger to asthma attacks , and our data support that those with
sensitisation to grass , birch and alternaria ( and possibly
cladosporium ) may benefit from focussed clinical protocols
that increase inhaled treatment
during the months of peak exposure to allergen .
they may even benefit from
desensitisation and immunotherapy ( 2.6% of asthmatics reported they
had been vaccinated for allergy in the previous 12 months ) .
assessment of sensitisation by spts and/or serum measures may not be routinely
performed in all primary healthcare settings .
however , the interpretation of such
testing requires understanding of potential cross - reactivity and should be carefully
considered alongside information on likely exposure .
for example , some people may
test positive to ragweed in the uk , but ragweed pollen is absent there .
sensitisation probably arises from cross - reactivity with other members of the
compositae ( asteraceae ) family ( e.g. mugwort ) .
even though our data suggest that people with positive spts to ragweed in the uk and
canada have different seasonal patterns , particularly in late summer , compared to
those without positive spts ( fig .
similarly , the pattern of variation that we have seen in those who do and
do not have positive spts to birch in southern europe may in part be explained by
cross - reactivity with other members of the bet v 1-family
( e.g. hazel and hop - hornbeam ) .
asthmatics who also reported hay fever showed an increased
risk of reporting exacerbations in the spring and summer months but this was limited
to those who were grass sensitised .
although reporting hay fever identifies those at
greater risk of spring / summer asthma exacerbations ( online supplementary fig .
e7 ) , the addition of testing for grass sensitisation may be more useful to
identify those at risk ( fig .
3 ) .
indoor allergens , such as house dust mite and cat , may have a
role in determining asthma exacerbations and severity of disease , but our data
suggest that those sensitised to indoor allergens have the same seasonal variations
as those who are not sensitised to these allergens .
large time series and ecological studies of asthma mortality and admissions in
relation to pollen or mould exposure [ 7 , 2832 ] present effect estimates for the entire population and have not
included differences in effect in those who are and are not sensitised ( the
proportion of which varies between countries ) .
the effect of pollen on
sensitised individuals may confound the respiratory effects of other outdoor
pollutants , particularly ozone ( which peaks during the summer months ) .
this could explain the inconsistency in the association of ozone with asthma
reported in some time series studies [ 33 ,
34 ] .
possible interactions between air
pollutants and aeroallergens and their effect on asthma exacerbations have been
investigated in few studies .
individual sensitisation to such aeroallergens might
influence the observed effects and explain why such interactions are only seen in
some studies .
climate change may lead to more intense and extended pollen or mould seasons with
higher absolute levels and increased allergenicity [ 36 , 37 ] .
there may be more
thunderstorms , which are known to cause sudden peaks in grass and mould allergen
levels and epidemic asthma in those who are sensitised [ 11 , 38 ] .
this report provides baseline information showing that those who are sensitised are
indeed a subgroup of the population who will be particularly at risk if these
climatic changes occur .
the ideal study design to investigate the effects of pollen exposure on asthma
exacerbations is a longitudinal or panel study of asthmatics who provide symptom and
sensitisation information at regular intervals over a 1-year period , but only one
large study of this type ( on children ) has been reported .
although our study design is not optimal ,
it is , to our knowledge , the only large international study of seasonal variations
in population - based asthmatics in whom atopic status has been assessed .
participants
were identified from representative community based samples ( not from hospital
clinics ) and even though the vast majority reported a physician diagnosis of
asthma , only a third reported using inhaled steroids in the past year
( reflecting that they had relatively mild disease and the under - treatment of asthma during the 1990s ) .
we have relied on self - reported seasonality collected at one point in time , which
has high face validity but may introduce random error ( making it more difficult
to identify clear patterns ) .
systematic error is unlikely as seasonal reporting
was not influenced by month of interview or by participants knowing their ige status
( questionnaire was asked before spt ) .
even though our report is based on observations made 20 years ago , similar patterns
were still seen in adults who took part in ecrhs ii ( a subsample of
participants included in this report who were followed up in 20002002 ,
n=1284 , aged 2754 years at follow - up , 12 countries ) who underwent
repeat questionnaires and limited serum ige testing ( no spts were performed in
ecrhs ii ) ( online supplementary fig .
we have described geographical variation in seasonality but , because of the
relatively small sample size in some centres , have grouped information from centres
to country level , and then regional level .
our regions are thus defined by
geopolitics rather than factors that others may consider more relevant
( e.g. pollen levels , climate and land usage ) . in conclusion
, we have shown that seasonal variation in asthma attacks in young
adults is common and is strongly associated with allergic sensitisation .
this is a
timely reminder to clinicians to remain alert to seasonal allergens as a potential
trigger for asthma attacks in their sensitised patients .
air pollution scientists
should strive to include measures of allergen exposure and measures of individual
( or at least population levels ) of allergic sensitisation in their
analyses
. climate change may increase pollen levels and their allergenicity , and
also extend pollen seasons ; this will probably lead to increased exacerbations in
those who are sensitised to these aeroallergens .
large panel studies to better
understand and quantify the relationships between exacerbations , allergic
sensitisation , directly measured pollen counts and other factors are required . | pubmed |
As an Oklahoman, I feel like I'm pretty much an expert when it comes to natural disasters. I live smack dab in the middle of tornado alley. Every spring and sometimes fall, twisters wobble their way along the plains. Sometimes, they dissipate before they do any real damage. Other times, they damage a few trees, which is considered a fortunate casualty in the big scheme of things. Still other times, these monsters decimate entire communities like they did this week in Central Oklahoma. Several communities suffered significant damage, lives were lost, and selfless volunteers are still working around the clock to help clean up as I write this.
Here's the thing with many emergencies such as floods, fires, tornadoes, mudslides, earthquakes, and hurricanes: we often don't know they are coming. With some you have more advance warning than others. But, the time to prepare for them is now. Review the following questions to protect yourself and your family financially in case you're not so lucky the next time disaster strikes.
If you're a renter, do you have renter's insurance?
Renter's insurance protects your personal property from theft, fire, and other loss. It can even cover the cost of helping you find another place to live if yours is damaged. Some disasters such as floods and earthquakes may require additional coverage. When I was a renter, I never had renter's insurance. I figured it was too expensive. I was shocked to find out that you can purchase quite a bit of coverage for just a couple of hundred dollars per year.
Losing your stuff is one thing but thinking about losing your life is quite another. Unfortunately, it can be a reality for some. When my husband and I had children, we sat down and had a serious discussion. If one of us died, the other would probably not be able to afford to care for our children and stay in our current home on one income. We needed life insurance so that if something happened to one of us, the other would be able to stay in the home and not worry financially. We were surprised to find out how affordable life insurance really is. For the cost of a couple of dinners out per month, you could ensure your family's financial security in the event of the loss of your spouse. Isn't that worth it? Of course, we hope that day never comes but knowing that money isn't something else we would have to struggle with in the midst of tragedy is great comfort.
Have you taken a personal property inventory?
Look around your house. Could you remember every single thing you own if you had to list it from memory? It's a great idea to start now and write down everything significant that you own, how much it cost, and when you bought it. There are personal inventory lists online you can use. Another great idea is to take a video inventory so you'll at least be able to remember to claim things that can easily be forgotten.
If you have large amounts of cash, jewelry, or important financial paperwork consider placing them in the bank or a safe-deposit box at your local financial institution instead of keeping them at your home. If your home is unexpectedly destroyed, those irreplaceable items may be lost forever.
If you own your home, you'll want to make sure that you have the right amount of homeowner's insurance to replace your belongings in case of a disaster. Review your policy to make sure you have enough coverage. Many policies don't cover flood insurance so if you could be at risk, it may be worth the additional money to add it.
No one likes to think of the worst case scenario but when it happens, you'll be thankful that you planned ahead. While many have been lucky to escape with their lives, it will take a long time to recover-emotionally, physically, and financially. For a small amount of money, you can buy peace of mind and security in case the next disaster heads your way. I know it may sound like it but I don't sell insurance. I've just found myself in the situation time and again where I'm fortunate that I have it.
The greatest things in life aren't things. They're the loved ones in your life. Your things can be replaced. But, with some preparation, replacing them can be a lot less expensive. | slim_pajama |
Dragon Age The Warden
The elves bustled about in the quick strides that they had grown used to since living near Kirkwall. The giant city seemed to loom over everything, darkening whatever the shadow touched. They hated it, each and every one of them, they missed Fereldan. They missed the woods, the smell of the creek, the gentle wind. The free marches were void of this, void of the qualities that made Fereldan their home.
They hated it here.
The two guards at the entrance of the camp stood straighter as they heard people approaching. Groaning internally when they saw that those approaching were wearing hoods that covered their faces, the reluctant guards raised their weapons.
"Halt shems! You shall not pass."
The taller of the two stopped and chuckled. Then with an armored hand they pushed the cloak down. The two guards dropped their weapons in surprise.
"It has been a while my friends." Walking over to the two stunned elves the woman clasped them on their shoulders before walking into camp, the second smaller girl following behind her. As they walked the elves around them stopped and stared. Finally the two stopped in front of the Keeper, her back turned to them as she tended to her staff.
"Keeper."
The older elf stopped, her shoulders tensing in surprise. Slowly she rose to her feet and turned around. Letting out a breath of relief and happiness the Keeper smiled.
"Mahariel you return to us!" Then without a second thought Marethari embraced Mahariel. Around them the clan rejoiced for the first time in years.
XxxxX
Later that night when everyone was sleeping Marethari and Mahariel talked quietly to each other.
"Long have you been gone my child, yet now you return to us with a child of your own. I can see that you are troubled Rohan, speak to me of your worries."
Rohan stared into the fire for a few moments before turning to face the Keeper. "I fear for her Keeper. I fear that my daughter is not safe."
Confusion settled on Marethari's face. "Why would she not be safe? Does she show signs of magic? Is it the Templars you fear?"
Rohan went quiet. Her answer was barely a whisper. "She is no mage yet she can wield magic far older than any we know."
The Keeper's eyes opened in surprise. "What do you mean?"
Clasping her hands together Rohan spoke. "The only way to end the Blight is to kill the Archdemon. This must be done by a Grey Warden or else the Archdemon can rise again. However this process kills both the Old God as well as the Warden. The soul of the Old God travels through the Warden's and both are destroyed, resulting in death."
"Yet here you are, with a child no less. So tell me, what has happened?"
"When I went to kill the Archdemon, I was pregnant." Rohan paused before Marethari urged her to continue.
"Instead of one soul, there was two. Her father was also a Warden. She is born of the taint." Suddenly the Keeper shifted, understanding in her eyes.
"You fear that the soul of the Old God lingers." Rohan shook her head.
"No. I fear the truths that she will know."
"I do not understand."
Sighing Rohan got up and walked over to her daughter, softly moving a piece of golden hair out of her sleeping face.
"The soul of the Old God resides within her. It cannot harm her nor can it be tainted." She moved away from her daughter and back to the Keeper.
"What I fear however is the knowledge that she will one day inherit. She speaks of things back in the days of our history long forgotten. Speaks of it as though she lived it. She is four about to turn five. I fear that if others were to learn of her…"
"That they would take her from you. That they would kill her."
Rohan nodded. "Yes. That is why I have left the Warden's at Vigils Keep. They were asking too many questions, none of which I had the answers to. It's hard enough trying to hide the fact that she's the daughter of the King. If they were to find out that she is a God-child…I fear that they would kill her."
The Keeper stared into the fire. "This is a grave matter indeed."
Rohan glanced up at her Keeper. "Would you let us stay?"
"This is your home child, we will never turn our backs on you. You and your daughter are of The People. Never shall we turn you away."
Sighing in relief Rohan felt the tension leave her body. "Thank you."
The Keeper simply nodded, her face lit by the fire in front of them. "Keeper, is it true that Flemeth was here?"
Marethari nodded again. "Yes. It was some years ago however. I do not remember well the events of what happened. If you want to know more about Flemeth and her visit here I suggest you seek out Hawke. Or in this case, send her a letter, it is not wise to venture into Kirkwall. The city is nothing but dangerous, not a place to take a child such as yours. It is filled to the brim with Templars."
Rohan nodded. "Alright, I'll send a letter to this Hawke. What is he like?"
The Keeper gave a slight chuckle. "She is a lot like you."
XxxxX
It was late the next morning when Bodahn yelled up to Hawke. She had just stepped out of the bath when he shouted through the door that a letter had arrived. A letter from the Dalish clan that Merril had left.
How interesting.
Drying off she quickly dressed and went downstairs to the writing desk. Opening the seal she began to read.
_Hawke, _
_We have not met, but we both know a certain witch. One with white hair and a sense of madness about her. I would greatly appreciate meeting with you for I have questions that I fear only Flemeth may answer. Any help you could give me on her would be most beneficial. I will be with my people for quite some time, so do not worry to rush up here._
_A friend_
Frowning Hawke put the letter down. Someone else knew Flemeth? How curious. Hawke chuckled at the 'don't rush up here' part. Of course she was going to rush up there, her curiosity would get the better of her. So running back up to her room she quickly changed into her armor, grabbed her weapon and was out the door before her mother could realize she was gone.
A half an hour later she was climbing up Sundermount with Fenris, Aveline, and a complaining Anders.
"So Hawke, you've no idea who sent you this note?" Artemis resisted to roll her eyes at Aveline's question.
"No, I haven't the slightest idea."
"You really are brilliant."
Artemis snorted. "Shut it Aveline."
"You're blatant disregard to the possible dangers you put yourself in astounds me."
"The amount of time you scare the shit out of me astounds me." Artemis shot back. After a moment Aveline chuckled.
"True enough Hawke. True enough."
It was nearing sundown, the giant ball of fire was slowly descending from the sky.
"Explain to me why we had to come here today. It's going to be dark before we get back." Anders stated.
"Because Hawke cannot control her own curiosity." Fenris answered.
"Hey! My curiosity gets us paid!" Cried out Artemis, hands on her hips.
"Fair enough Hawke."
A giggle from ahead of them made them pause. A little girl with bright blonde hair and green eyes was looking at them. Her mouth was cracked open in a smile, showing her teeth. One of her front ones was missing, making her even more adorable when she smiled.
"You're late!"
Artemis frowned. "Late?"
The little girl threw her hands up in the air in a dramatic fashion. "Yeah! My momma went to lay down. She doesn't sleep much anymore, but now that we are with the Clan she can finally rest."
That was when Artemis noticed the slight point of her ears. The little girl was an elf.
"Little one you're a ways away from the camp. That's very dangerous." Aveline chided the little girl who shook her head.
"I'm safe! Don't worry!"
Sighing Artemis walked forwards. "All right, back to camp you go. I've got a meeting with your mother."
"I'll beat you to camp!" Then the little girl took off like a bolt towards the camp. "No swooping! Swooping is bad!" She cried out over her shoulder.
Artemis paused mid step. "Swooping?"
Looking back at the others she said it again. "Swooping?"
They shrugged. "Not a clue, sorry." Anders told her.
"Gee thanks for the help guys."
"Anytime Hawke, anytime."
"Shut up Aveline."
None of them noticed the stone golem watching from a distance. A brave bird landed on the ground next to it. A loud crack was heard. The bird was squished. The golem smiled.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
The little elf girl was strange. That was saying something. Artemis had dealt with some pretty strange people in the past but…
This kid took the cake. She was cute, and there were times that Artemis had forgotten just how creepy she was. She had only just met the kid and already she was unnerved by her. It wasn't like the girl was scary, she really was adorable, it's just that there were times that when she looked at you it was like she was gazing into your soul.
They had only been with her for around ten minutes, traveling to the camp, but those ten minutes were enough.
She wasn't the only one who was unnerved by it either. Aveline had mentioned something about it earlier, Anders was uncharacteristically quiet, and Fenris was brooding….more so than normal. Really he was disgruntled by everything it seemed. Still, she cared about him.
She had a feeling the little girl knew that too. Creepy.
"So," Aveline said, breaking the silence. "Tell us about your mother. She sent for Hawke yes?" The little girl nodded, smiling her toothy smile.
"Yep! My momma did!" Then she paused and stopped her skipping, changing it to a slow walk so she could keep walk with them.
"My momma is very pretty! She's kind and wise!"
Artemis chuckled. "Is she now?"
"Yes! She's very strong too! No one can beat her!" The little girl seemed so sure that her mother was unbeatable that Artemis almost found herself believing her.
"Such are the thoughts of a child." Fenris spoke slowly, as though he was in deep thought.
Suddenly the unnerving look was back. As the little girl gazed at Fenris a chill crept up Hawke's spine.
"What do you know of childish thoughts? You, a former slave, who cannot remember his own past have no right to talk." The clearing went deadly quiet as the group stared at the girl. Her eyes suddenly seemed older than she was, older than time itself. She wasn't a little girl anymore, instead she was something ancient…and deadly. Then the feeling was gone, replaced with the little girl who now smiled at them with a toothy grin and bright green eyes.
What the hell had Hawke gotten herself into now?
The moment was ruined however when a group of darkspawn ran into the clearing ahead of them. The darkspawn charged right for them, as if they had been waiting for them.
"Protect the girl!" Artemis screamed as she struck down a Hurlock. Aveline shouted something in response but Artemis couldn't hear it over the sounds of battle. After what seemed like hours the last Genlock was killed and the clearing was quiet.
"Well, that was random."
Hawke turned to look at Aveline, her friend was covered in blood and was panting slightly. "Did you just make a joke?"
Aveline made a face at Hawke. "Does that really surprise you?"
"Hell yeah it does!"
"There's more coming!" Anders shouted, alerting them.
Then the darkspawn came in numbers far greater than before, and with them they brought an Ogre. Hawke swore beneath her breath and stared in shock. Where did all these darkspawn come from? They were so close to Kirkwall it was strange for them to be so far out.
Hawke was so engrossed in her thoughts that she forgot about the Ogre. How that was possible? She had no idea, the damn thing was impossibly large, stank like sewer piss, and roared every few seconds. Yet, she forgot about it and now the damn thing had the kid cornered.
"Aveline? Fenris? Anders? Someone get the kid!"
It was no use, they were all too far away fighting too many darkspawn. She glanced back over to the kid and realized that there was no way to save her. Cursing again Hawke doubled her efforts to get to her when the kid screamed.
"Shale! Momma! Help!"
Nothing happened for a moment, but then through the woods came a golem. Large, larger than Hawke had seen before, glowing with red stones it barreled through the darkspawn like they were nothing. Behind it ran a mabari who quickly went to killing the nearest creature it could find. The golem was literally tearing a path to the Ogre and the little girl, crushing anything in its way.
Then a commotion from the front of the group drew her attention away from the golem. Something, no not something, someone was cutting through the darkspawn like butter. Hawke saw glimpses of black hair and pale skin, but that was it.
What the hell was going on?
Then a figure literally leapt out of the mass and at the Ogre. It was female, no armor to protect her, no she was wearing what looked like normal clothes and the only weapon she had was an elven dagger. Yet one slice from that elven dagger felled the Ogre. It dropped to its knees, blood gushing from its slit throat before finally falling to the ground dead. The darkspawn seemed to freeze, looking at the newly arrived woman, then in an astonishing turn of events they ran.
The golem, Shale, walked over to the woman and glanced at the direction the darkspawn fled to.
"Shall I follow them?" The woman nodded and without another word the golem marched off.
"What in the bloody hell is going on here?" Aveline sounded as she walked up to the kneeling woman and startled child. The mabari growled and snarled at her, jumping to defend his owner. Aveline took a step back.
"Does this need to be explained? My daughter was attacked by darkspawn, she called for help, we answered. What about that confuses you?"
Standing the woman turned to face them. Her hair was long and black, her face had a giant winding tree tatted on it and her eyes were a startling silver. The green of the tree seemed to make her eyes glow.
"That was not an ordinary Golem." The woman shrugged at Fenris's statement.
"You mark her as different because of the way she looks. I could say the same about you. That is lyrium branded into your flesh is it not?"
Fenris's eyes darkened and his face tightened into anger. "That is none of your concern."
"Just as my friend is none of yours." She shot back coldly, meeting his gaze head on. Hawke, knowing a bad situation when she sees one, decided to step in.
"So you are her mother? Then you are the one who sent me a letter asking me to come."
The woman's cold eyes shifted to Hawke. "Yes. So you are Hawke?"
"I am, and you are a friend yes? So please, let's end this hostility already. We can save that for the darkspawn."
"If I have acted in a way to lead you to thinking I did not like one of you, then I am sorry. All the darkspawn about tend to send me…into a fit. I have no qualms with my fellow elf."
Fenris spat. "Do not speak as if you know me. We are nothing but strangers."
Cold silver eyes met his once more. "You and I are alike in more than a few ways. In time come past you will realize this." When he opened his mouth to protest she held a hand up, silencing him.
"Spare your words, I'll not argue with you here. Tainted blood sits on the ground around us, I'd rather not stand around here talking." Gathering her daughter into her arms she began walking back towards the Dalish camp.
"Wait, what's your name?" Hawke cried, stumbling after her.
The woman, stopped and turned, the sun was setting behind her making it seem like her daughter's hair was molten gold. "I am Rohan and this is my daughter, Ailey."
End file.
| fanfiction |
according to the world health organization estimates , about 210 million pregnancies occur each year , one - third of which are unintended .
five million women are hospitalized each year for treatment of abortion complications such as hemorrhages and sepsis .
when abortion is restricted by law and women have limited access to safe abortion , the rate of unsafe abortion increases . in malaysia , abortion is permitted to save the woman 's life or to preserve her physical or mental health .
it lacks implementation and there is restricted access to abortion care in the public health care system .
doctors are reluctant to provide abortion services , even to women who are legally qualified .
unsafe abortion is said to cause 13% of the maternal deaths or 68,000 deaths each year .
promoting family planning contributes substantially to improving maternal health , reducing child mortality , and for women 's empowerment .
thus , improving maternal health is the core to achieving the millennium development goal ( mdg ) .
studies have shown significant association between parity , maternal age , and pregnancy outcomes such as obstetric complications , perinatal death , and neonatal morbidity , after adjusting for socioeconomic and demographic confounders .
an important aspect of family planning is healthy timing and spacing of pregnancy ( htsp ) which helps women and couples space or delay their desired pregnancies , in order to achieve the healthiest outcomes for mothers and babies within the context of free and informed choice .
it is estimated that 90% of abortion - related and 20% of pregnancy - related morbidity and mortality , along with 32% of maternal deaths , could be avoided by effective contraceptive practices . in developing countries , about one in every
demographic health survey ( dhs ) defined a woman to have an unmet need for contraception if she is fecund , sexually active , not using any form of contraception , and does not want a child for at least 2 years ( spacers ) or wants no more children ( limiters ) .
the importance of the unmet need for family planning was clearly restated by the programme of the action of the international conference on population and development ( icpd ) as government goals for family planning should be defined in terms of unmet needs for information and services and that all countries should , over the next several years , assess the extent of national unmet need for good - quality family planning services .
one of the goals of icpd includes 50% reduction in the unmet need for contraception by 2005 and its total reduction by 2015 .
a revitalization of the agenda is required and political willingness is also required to incorporate family planning into the development arena .
studies have shown that family planning information availability and proper counseling , demographic characteristics , cultural and religious beliefs , and economic and education level of the women can also affect the selection of a modern contraceptive method .
opposition to the use , fear of side effects , health concerns , and dissatisfaction with sexual sensation when using them have been identified as obstacles to the use of modern contraceptives .
lack of knowledge of modern contraceptive methods and their mechanism of action has been cited as one of the major reasons for the non - use of contraception by women . due to lack of knowledge on reproductive physiology and fertile period among women , especially adolescent girls , they may not be effectively assessing their risk of getting pregnant when they have occasional or infrequent sex .
studies have shown that involving men in family planning counseling does increase contraceptive adoption , satisfaction of clients , effective use of contraception , and contraceptive continuation .
husband 's opposition has been reported as the main factor for not using any contraceptive methods among turkish married women . in south asia , apart from husbands , the role of peers , mothers - in - law , and elders in contraceptive decision - making is well documented .
urban women in pakistan are more likely to use family planning if their mothers - in - law have discussed it with them as an option for their families .
the communication between husband and wife about family planning and the desired number of children is closely linked to successful contraceptive use . in malaysia ,
contraceptive prevalence rate ( cpr ) during past three decades has been steady at about 50% for any method . in terms of modern contraception ,
the reproductive rights advocacy alliance malaysia ( rraam ) reported that unwanted pregnancies are increasing due to low contraceptive practice among malaysian women .
reports from confidential enquiries into maternal death ( cemd ) malaysia 20012005 revealed that in up to 70% of the maternal deaths , any form of family planning was not followed .
maternal mortality due to postpartum hemorrhage ( pph ) was greater among mothers with high parity , short birth intervals , with lack of antenatal care , and higher maternal age .
there is a lack of published data in malaysia about the factors influencing modern contraceptive use with a view on women 's spousal communication and their perceived social support for using modern contraception .
this study was planned to determine the factors associated with modern contraceptive practices among married female women working in a university .
findings of the study can provide health policymakers with the information needed to develop strategies to improve contraceptive practices among couples , especially among women in a university .
a cross - sectional study was carried out among married female staff in the university .
the list of married women between the ages of 20 and 49 years was obtained from the registrar 's office according to each faculty . out of 15 faculties in the university ,
the academic and non - academic staff of each faculty were selected using stratified random sampling .
all married female staff ( 576 ) in selected faculties were invited to participate in this study .
the women who were pregnant , infertile , menopausal women , medical lecturers as well as nurses were excluded from the study .
the data for the study were collected using validated , reliable self - administered questionnaire which was written in malay .
reproductive health knowledge scale was developed by researchers based on the world health organization guideline , decision - making tool for family planning clients and providers ( 2005 ) , and was divided into modern contraceptive knowledge ( 17 items ) and reproductive system and sexually transmitted infection ( sti ) knowledge ( 9 items ) .
knowledge on modern contraceptive methods investigated included general awareness about contraceptive methods , indication , mode of action , and side effects of the methods .
knowledge on reproductive system and sti included physiology of human reproductive organs and stis including hiv and its prevention .
for the knowledge questions , the respondents were requested to respond to individual statements using the options yes , no , or do not know . for scoring of knowledge items ,
the respondents were given one point for answering correctly and no points for answering wrongly or that they did not know the answer .
respondents knowledge scores were summed up and then categorized as good ( > 75 percentile ) , moderate ( 5075 percentile ) , and poor ( < 50 percentile ) .
participants perceived social support from husbands and peers for contraceptive use was measured by seven items adopted and modified from a previous study .
all items related to this scale were scored on 5-point likert scale from 1 ( strongly disagree ) to 5 ( fully agree ) .
respondents perceived social support scores for modern contraceptive practice were categorized as follows : poor if they obtained < 50 percentile , moderate for 5075 percentile , and strong for > 75 percentile .
pretesting of the questionnaire was carried out among 40 married female staff working in the administration building of the university to ensure that the respondents understood the items and to measure the reliability ( internal consistency ) of the scales in the questionnaire .
the cronbach 's alpha coefficient was 0.78 for modern contraceptive knowledge , 0.71 for knowledge on reproductive system and sti , and 0.86 for perceived social support .
the cronbach 's alpha coefficient for all scales was above 0.70 , indicating that the questionnaire had adequate reliability .
a positive response was recorded if the woman or her husband was using any form of modern contraceptive methods within past 1 month .
oral contraceptive pills ( ocp ) , injectables , condom , intrauterine device ( iud ) , implant , male sterilization ( vasectomy ) , and female sterilization ( tubal ligation ) were considered as modern contraceptives .
the independent variables studied were socio - demographic and reproductive health variables , reproductive health knowledge , having discussion with spouse about family planning methods , and perceived social support for contraceptive practice .
mistimed pregnancy was defined when pregnancy occurred sooner than the desire time and an unwanted pregnancy was defined when the woman reported that she did not want a child at the time of conception or any time in the future . in the study ,
high - risk women for pregnancy were considered those aged > 35 years , having high parity ( 5 pregnancies ) , or having a child younger than 2 years .
descriptive analysis was presented in terms of frequency , percentage , means , and standard deviations .
fisher 's exact test was used to examine the association among categorical variables since the study sample size and cell sizes were relatively small .
independent sample t - test was used to compare the means of the two groups of an interval or the ratio of variables .
the variables that were significant in the bivariate analysis were re - examined in the multivariate analysis .
the ethics committee of the faculty medicine and health sciences , universiti putra malaysia reviewed and approved the study protocol . from all married female staff who agreed to participate in the study , informed consent was obtained prior to their involvement in the research .
descriptive analysis was presented in terms of frequency , percentage , means , and standard deviations .
fisher 's exact test was used to examine the association among categorical variables since the study sample size and cell sizes were relatively small .
independent sample t - test was used to compare the means of the two groups of an interval or the ratio of variables .
the variables that were significant in the bivariate analysis were re - examined in the multivariate analysis .
the ethics committee of the faculty medicine and health sciences , universiti putra malaysia reviewed and approved the study protocol . from all married female staff who agreed to participate in the study , informed consent was obtained prior to their involvement in the research .
overall mean age of participants husbands was 37.10 years ( sd = 8.37 ) with a range of 2458 years .
the mean working experience in years was 10.99 ( sd = 7.81 ) . majority ( 61.7% ) of the respondents had working experience of less than 10 years .
the mean total household income was malaysian ringgit ( rm ) 5561 ( sd = 3871 ) .
the mean age at marriage and duration of marriage was 25.1 ( sd = 2.95 ) and 9.37 ( sd = 7.75 ) , respectively .
the mean number of children was 2.49 ( sd = 1.41 ) with a minimum of 1 and a maximum of 11 .
overall , 51% of women used any of the contraceptive methods , of which 36.8% used modern and 14.2% practiced traditional contraceptive methods . among the modern contraceptive users ,
ocp was reported as the most prevalent contraceptive method ( 51% ) , which was followed by iud ( 19% ) , condom ( 17% ) , and injection ( 5.1% ) [ figure 1 ] .
figure 2 shows the modern contraceptive practices among high - risk women , who were above 35 years , with high parity ( 5 pregnancies ) , and those with a child younger than 2 years . a majority ( 87% ) of the respondents
awareness of specific modern contraception was as follows : for ocp ( 92% ) , iud ( 83.4% ) , injectable ( 89% ) , implant ( 78.5% ) , male condom ( 93.5% ) , and female sterilization ( 85.5% ) ; only 46% of the participants knew about vasectomy .
regarding modern contraceptive knowledge , overall , 15% of the participants had poor knowledge , 45% had moderate knowledge , and 40% had good knowledge .
distribution of modern contraceptive methods use among participants ( n = 142 ) modern contraceptive practices among high - risk women for pregnancy respondents knowledge on reproductive system and sti was poor in 53% , moderate in 35% , and good in 12% of the participants .
out of 386 respondents , 48% had discussed about family planning with their spouse while 52% had not .
about one - third ( 32% ) of the participants had strong , 52% had moderate , and 16% had poor perceived social support for modern contraceptive use .
table 1 shows the association between use of modern contraceptives and background variables such as age , husband 's age , income , ethnicity , and religion .
the proportion of non - malay women was more ( 7.7% ) among contraceptive users compared to non - users ( 1.6% , p = 0.003 ) .
the mean number of pregnancies was significantly higher among modern contraceptive users ( m = 3.04 , sd = 1.70 ) compared to non - users of the methods ( m = 2.32 , sd = 1.86 ) [ t ( 384 ) = 1.59 , p < 0.001 ] .
those women who had child more likely practiced modern contraception compared to childless women [ = ( 1 , 386 ) = 8.75 , p = 0.003 ] .
the relation between number of children and modern contraceptive use was significant [ = ( 2 , 338 ) = 17.26 , p < 0.001 ] .
a large majority ( 90.2% ) of contraceptive users had between one and four children and only a small proportion ( 9.8% ) of women with more than four children practiced modern contraception .
association between socio - demographic variables and use of modern contraception ( n=386 ) association between marriage reproductive health variables and use of modern contraception ( n=386 ) there was significant association between modern contraceptive practice and a past history of mistimed pregnancies [ ( 1 , 386 ) = 7.47 , p = 0.006 ] .
experience of mistimed pregnancies was higher among modern contraceptive users ( 29.6% ) as compared to non - users ( 17.6% ) .
similarly , significant association was found between modern contraceptive practice and a positive past history of unwanted pregnancies [ ( 1 , 386 ) = 8.56 , p = 0.003 ] .
experience of unwanted pregnancies was more ( 17.6% ) among modern contraceptive users than among non - users ( 7.8% ) .
table 3 shows that women who had good contraceptive knowledge significantly practiced modern contraceptive methods as compared to women with moderate or poor knowledge [ ( 1 , 386 ) = 12.023 , p = 0.002 ] , while no significant association was found between knowledge of reproductive system sti and modern contraceptive practice ( p = 0.194 ) .
there was significant association between spousal communication and modern contraceptive practice [ ( 1 , 386 ) = 131.5 , p < 0.001 ] .
modern contraceptive users discussed with their spouses about family planning more than non - users ( 50.5% vs. 24.5% ) . furthermore
, significant association was found between perceived social support and modern contraceptive practice [ ( 2 , 386 ) = 58.64 , p < 0.001 ] .
the observed association in bivariate analysis was further re - examined by logistic regression to identify adjusted association with the probability of using modern contraception [ table 4 ] . the variables such as ethnicity , discussing with spouse about family planning , and
perceived social support are significant predictors of using modern contraceptives after controlling for other variables .
malay women [ 92% ; odds ratio ( or ) : 0.082 , 95% confidence interval ( ci ) : 0.010.33 ] were less likely to use modern contraception as compared to non - malay women .
further , those women who discussed with their spouse about family planning were 2.2 times more likely to practice contraceptive methods than those who did not ( or : 4.9 , ci : 1.610.8 ; p < 0.01 ) . moreover , those women who had moderate ( or : 4.9 , ci : 1.910.8 ) and strong ( or : 14.2 , ci : 4.526.4 ) perception of social support for using modern contraceptives are more likely to use the contraceptive methods as compared to women with poor perception of social support .
nagelkerke r value was 0.325 , suggesting that 32.5% of the variation in modern contraceptive practices is explained by the three predictor variables : ethnicity , spousal communication , and perceived social support [ table 4 ] .
association between contraceptive practices and reproductive health knowledge , spousal communication , and social support logistic regression estimates of odds ratios of factors associated with modern contraceptive practices among married women in the university ( n=386 )
overall mean age of participants husbands was 37.10 years ( sd = 8.37 ) with a range of 2458 years .
the mean working experience in years was 10.99 ( sd = 7.81 ) . majority ( 61.7% ) of the respondents had working experience of less than 10 years .
the mean total household income was malaysian ringgit ( rm ) 5561 ( sd = 3871 ) .
the mean age at marriage and duration of marriage was 25.1 ( sd = 2.95 ) and 9.37 ( sd = 7.75 ) , respectively .
the mean number of children was 2.49 ( sd = 1.41 ) with a minimum of 1 and a maximum of 11 .
overall , 51% of women used any of the contraceptive methods , of which 36.8% used modern and 14.2% practiced traditional contraceptive methods . among the modern contraceptive users ,
ocp was reported as the most prevalent contraceptive method ( 51% ) , which was followed by iud ( 19% ) , condom ( 17% ) , and injection ( 5.1% ) [ figure 1 ] .
figure 2 shows the modern contraceptive practices among high - risk women , who were above 35 years , with high parity ( 5 pregnancies ) , and those with a child younger than 2 years . a majority ( 87% ) of the respondents
awareness of specific modern contraception was as follows : for ocp ( 92% ) , iud ( 83.4% ) , injectable ( 89% ) , implant ( 78.5% ) , male condom ( 93.5% ) , and female sterilization ( 85.5% ) ; only 46% of the participants knew about vasectomy .
regarding modern contraceptive knowledge , overall , 15% of the participants had poor knowledge , 45% had moderate knowledge , and 40% had good knowledge .
distribution of modern contraceptive methods use among participants ( n = 142 ) modern contraceptive practices among high - risk women for pregnancy respondents knowledge on reproductive system and sti was poor in 53% , moderate in 35% , and good in 12% of the participants .
out of 386 respondents , 48% had discussed about family planning with their spouse while 52% had not .
about one - third ( 32% ) of the participants had strong , 52% had moderate , and 16% had poor perceived social support for modern contraceptive use .
table 1 shows the association between use of modern contraceptives and background variables such as age , husband 's age , income , ethnicity , and religion .
the proportion of non - malay women was more ( 7.7% ) among contraceptive users compared to non - users ( 1.6% , p = 0.003 ) .
the mean number of pregnancies was significantly higher among modern contraceptive users ( m = 3.04 , sd = 1.70 ) compared to non - users of the methods ( m = 2.32 , sd = 1.86 ) [ t ( 384 ) = 1.59 , p < 0.001 ] .
those women who had child more likely practiced modern contraception compared to childless women [ = ( 1 , 386 ) = 8.75 , p = 0.003 ] .
the relation between number of children and modern contraceptive use was significant [ = ( 2 , 338 ) = 17.26 , p < 0.001 ] .
a large majority ( 90.2% ) of contraceptive users had between one and four children and only a small proportion ( 9.8% ) of women with more than four children practiced modern contraception .
association between socio - demographic variables and use of modern contraception ( n=386 ) association between marriage reproductive health variables and use of modern contraception ( n=386 ) there was significant association between modern contraceptive practice and a past history of mistimed pregnancies [ ( 1 , 386 ) = 7.47 , p = 0.006 ] .
experience of mistimed pregnancies was higher among modern contraceptive users ( 29.6% ) as compared to non - users ( 17.6% ) .
similarly , significant association was found between modern contraceptive practice and a positive past history of unwanted pregnancies [ ( 1 , 386 ) = 8.56 , p = 0.003 ] .
experience of unwanted pregnancies was more ( 17.6% ) among modern contraceptive users than among non - users ( 7.8% ) .
table 3 shows that women who had good contraceptive knowledge significantly practiced modern contraceptive methods as compared to women with moderate or poor knowledge [ ( 1 , 386 ) = 12.023 , p = 0.002 ] , while no significant association was found between knowledge of reproductive system sti and modern contraceptive practice ( p = 0.194 ) .
there was significant association between spousal communication and modern contraceptive practice [ ( 1 , 386 ) = 131.5 , p < 0.001 ] .
modern contraceptive users discussed with their spouses about family planning more than non - users ( 50.5% vs. 24.5% ) . furthermore
, significant association was found between perceived social support and modern contraceptive practice [ ( 2 , 386 ) = 58.64 , p < 0.001 ] .
the observed association in bivariate analysis was further re - examined by logistic regression to identify adjusted association with the probability of using modern contraception [ table 4 ] . the variables such as ethnicity , discussing with spouse about family planning , and
perceived social support are significant predictors of using modern contraceptives after controlling for other variables .
malay women [ 92% ; odds ratio ( or ) : 0.082 , 95% confidence interval ( ci ) : 0.010.33 ] were less likely to use modern contraception as compared to non - malay women .
further , those women who discussed with their spouse about family planning were 2.2 times more likely to practice contraceptive methods than those who did not ( or : 4.9 , ci : 1.610.8 ; p < 0.01 ) . moreover , those women who had moderate ( or : 4.9 , ci : 1.910.8 ) and strong ( or : 14.2 , ci : 4.526.4 ) perception of social support for using modern contraceptives are more likely to use the contraceptive methods as compared to women with poor perception of social support .
nagelkerke r value was 0.325 , suggesting that 32.5% of the variation in modern contraceptive practices is explained by the three predictor variables : ethnicity , spousal communication , and perceived social support [ table 4 ] .
association between contraceptive practices and reproductive health knowledge , spousal communication , and social support logistic regression estimates of odds ratios of factors associated with modern contraceptive practices among married women in the university ( n=386 )
this study assessed the contraceptive practices and factors associated with modern contraceptive practices among married women at a public university in malaysia .
the cpr was almost the same as the recently reported figure ( in 2004 ) by national population and family development board , i.e. 51.7% . in the current study , about 37% of the subjects practiced modern contraceptive methods .
the study revealed that a majority ( > 60% ) of women in reproductive age did not practice modern contraception .
poor contraceptive practice placed women at risk of unintended pregnancy and its negative health outcomes . the contraceptive practice among married female staff in the university
was found to be relatively low in comparison with modern contraceptive practice in neighboring countries like singapore ( 55% ) , thailand ( 70% ) , and vietnam ( 67% ) . in this study ,
the muslim majority malay women were less likely to practice modern contraceptives as compared to non - malay women .
the low usage of contraception , particularly permanent methods , may reflect the women 's religious belief that contraceptive practice is not permitted by islam and putting a stop to pregnancy is considered a sin .
it should be noted that islam generally permits reversible contraceptive methods and islamic guiding principle for using contraception is safety of the method , legality , and only should be used in the context of marriage . from the islamic perspective ,
muslim women were more likely to discontinue using contraception due to bleeding and pain than protestant women . because of the problems caused by some contraceptive method and inability to follow the religious rituals , muslim women were more likely to stop the use of contraceptive .
the findings of this study showed that about one - quarter of the respondents had experienced mistimed pregnancy and 11% had a positive history of unwanted pregnancy .
this reflects that a higher proportion of unintended pregnancies occurred among those women who desired to delay their childbearing than those who wanted to limit their fertility .
studies have shown that unintended pregnancy is associated with risky prenatal behaviors that increase poor pregnancy outcomes such as low birth weight , prematurity , and abuse among children born of unintended pregnancy .
prevention of pregnancy is more important among high - risk groups , namely subjects who are in postpartum period , breastfeeding women , those with high parity ( 5 pregnancies ) , > 35-year - old women , and those approaching menopause .
. the risk of adverse obstetric and perinatal outcome is increased by advancing maternal age .
therefore , the physicians and health staff should explain the risk of advancing maternal age to clients who are planning a pregnancy .
in the present study , more than half ( 58.5% out of 142 ) of the women who had a child below 2 years and also more than half ( 59% out of 136 ) of the women who were above 35 years old did not use modern contraceptive , which increases the chance of unintended and risky pregnancies .
studies have shown that inter - pregnancies interval of 35 years could raise the chance of infant and maternal survival by 2.5 times compared to children born at an interval of 2 years .
although a majority of participants were aware of modern contraception , their specific knowledge about modern contraception was inadequate .
more than half ( 60% ) of the participants had poor and moderate knowledge about the methods .
majority of the participants also lacked adequate knowledge about reproductive system and sti , whereas only 12% were found to have good knowledge .
the importance of spousal communication for the use of contraception has been highlighted in several studies .
investigation of the influence of spousal communication on the use of family planning methods in rural nepal and myanmar showed a strong positive impact of spousal communication on contraceptive use .
it was found in the present study that women who had discussion with their spouses about family planning were 2.2 times more likely to practice modern contraception than the women who did not .
studies have shown that exposure of women to physical abuse within their marriage significantly decreased contraceptive use among them .
it may be related to women 's low power in abusive marriages to negotiate contraceptive methods usage with their husbands and are captured in a violent relationship with fewer options including autonomous family planning decisions . involving influential community members in family planning program
can positively change couples contraceptive behaviors . a community - based intervention conducted among young couples in india and influential people such as parents , in - laws , and those who have a role in shaping family planning decision - making of young people was able to positively influence contraceptive behavior change of young couples .
the result of this study indicated that those women who had moderate or strong perception of social support for using modern contraceptives were more likely to use the contraceptive methods as compared to women with poor perception of social support .
's findings which showed that those women who believed that their husbands had a positive attitude toward contraception were more likely to use a method than those who did not ( or : 3.4 , p < 0.001 ) , while the women who were nervous about discussing contraception with their husbands were less likely than others to use a method ( or : 0.6 , p < 0.05 ) .
similarly , agha in pakistan demonstrated the perception of women that their in - laws support in contraception use was the strongest determinant of their intentions to use hormonal contraceptive methods ( or : 2.12 , ci : 1.682.68 ; p < 0.001 ) , iud ( or : 2.18 , ci : 1.602.98 ; p < 0.001 ) , and female sterilization ( or : 2.19 ; ci : 1.782.70 ; p < 0.001 ) in the next 12 months . in malaysia ,
men need to be more involved in health educational programs for support and family planning practices .
this study was carried out among married educated women in a public university , who may not be a representative sample of malaysian women .
the study showed that modern contraceptive use was low among married women in the university .
ethnicity , family planning spousal communication , and perceived social support were the most important predictors of modern contraceptive practices among married women in the university .
majority of the reproductive age women were at risk of unintended pregnancy , which can lead to poor maternal and child health outcomes .
serious attention should be paid to women with risk factors for high - risk pregnancies .
family planning education programs should target all the women in reproductive age , especially those who are in breastfeeding period , those with high parity , of advanced age , and approaching menopause , for promoting htsp .
therefore , educating women can contribute to improve maternal and child health that is the central goal of the mdg four and five . | pubmed |
How to determine whether two hydrogen are homotopic, diastereotopic, emantiotopic?
I have been learning about nmr and I am confused about how to identify whether two hydrogen on different carbon atoms are homotopic, diastereotopic or emantiotopic. I can do identify this when two hydrogens are attached to same carbon atoms, but when it is different I am lost.I have searched lot on web, but they only include examples of two hydrogens on same atom, not on different ones. So can anyone help determine what the two hydrogen are in these compounds and why ? Thanks. [](https://i.stack.imgur.com/bpk5J.png)
You determine by labeling. Take the two hydrogens in question and label them one at a time to get two molecules. What's the relationship between these two molecules? If the molecules are the same, then the hydrogens were homotopic. If they are enantiomers, the hydrogens are enantiotopic. Otherwise, if they are diastereomeric molecules, the hydrogens are diastereomeric.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
German system may refer to:
Continental education system
German wine classification system
UIC classification of locomotive axle arrangements, also known as German classification | wikipedia |
the study of the structure - function relationship of biomolecular systems often requires to follow their dynamics with almost atomic spatial resolution on a macroscopic time scale , which is beyond the reach of current all atom molecular dynamics ( md ) simulations .
a typical example is molecular and ion transport through channel proteins @xcite . indeed , in order to determine the forces that guide the diffusion of molecules across the channel one needs to know with atomic precision the structure of the channel protein - lipid - solvent environment .
however , the duration of the permeation process across the channel occurs on a time scale ( e.g. , @xmath0s to ms ) that may exceed by several orders of magnitude the time scale of several tens of nanoseconds currently attainable by all atom molecular dynamics ( md ) simulations@xcite .
whenever the dynamic properties of interest of such a system can be described in terms of a small number of reaction coordinates ( rcs ) then a practical approach to this inherently multiscale problem is to model the system as fictitious overdamped brownian particles that diffuse along the rcs in the presence of an effective potential of mean force ( pmf ) that describes their interaction with the rest of the system .
recently we have proposed an efficient method for calculating simultaneously both the pmf , @xmath1 , and the corresponding diffusion coefficient , @xmath2 , along a rc , @xmath3 , by employing a small number of fast nonequilibrium md simulations in both forward ( f ) and time reversed ( r ) directions @xcite .
the efficiency of this method , referred to as the _ fr method _
, was demonstrated by calculating the pmf and the diffusion coefficient of single - file water molecules in single - walled carbon nanotubes @xcite .
the obtained results were found to be in very good agreement with the results from other pmf calculation methods , e.g. , umbrella sampling @xcite . to further test its viability , in this paper we apply the fr method to investigate the energetics of two well - studied exemplary systems , i.e. , ( i ) the helix - to - coil transition of deca - alanine in vacuum , and ( ii ) the transport of @xmath4 ions in the gramicidin a ( ga ) channel protein , inserted in a fully solvated pope lipid bilayer . in each case
we seek to calculate the pmf as a function of a proper rc , i.e. , the end - to - end distance ( @xmath3 ) of deca - alanine and the position ( @xmath5-coordinate ) of the potassium ion along the axis of the ga channel . the computed pmfs
are found to be in good agreement with previous results obtained by using either the jarzynski equality @xcite or the umbrella sampling method @xcite .
however , compared to these pmf calculation methods our approach is about one order of magnitude faster and , in addition , also provides the position dependent diffusion coefficient along the rc .
thus , by employing the computed pmf and diffusion coefficient in a suitable stochastic model we could estimate important characteristics of the studied systems , e.g. , the mean folding time of the stretched deca - alanine and the mean first passage time of @xmath4 through the ga channel . the remaining of the paper is organized as follows . to make the presentation self - contained , in sec .
[ sec : theory ] a brief description of the fr method is provided , along with the theory used to analyse our results .
the study of deca - alanine is described in sec .
[ sec:10ala ] , while that of @xmath4 transport in the ga channel in sec .
[ sec : ga ] . finally , sec .
[ sec : conc ] is reserved for conclusions .
by definition , for a classical mechanical system described by the hamiltonian @xmath6 , the pmf ( landau free energy ) , @xmath1 , along a properly chosen rc ( @xmath3 ) is determined from the equilibrium distribution function of the system by integrating out all degrees of freedom except @xmath3 , i.e. , @xcite @xmath7 \;.\ ] ] here @xmath8 is the equilibrium distribution function of the rc , @xmath9 is the partition function , @xmath10 is the usual thermal factor , and @xmath11 is the dirac - delta function whose filtering property guarantees that the integrand in eq .
is nonzero only when @xmath12 .
in this paper we use the convention that @xmath3 [ or @xmath13 is the target value , while @xmath14 is the actual value of the rc . also , it is convenient to use @xmath15 as energy unit . thus , in eq .
one needs to set @xmath16 .
unfortunately , by using equilibrium md simulations the direct application of eq . is practical only for calculating @xmath1 about its local minimum . an efficient way to properly sample @xmath3
is provided by _ steered molecular dynamics _
( smd ) @xcite in which the system is guided , according to a predefined protocol , along the rc by using , e.g. , a _ harmonic guiding potential _ @xmath17 ^ 2 \;,\ ] ] where @xmath18 is the elastic constant of the harmonic guiding potential . with this extra potential energy ,
the hamiltonian of the new biased system becomes @xmath19 . as a result ,
atom `` @xmath20 '' in the selection that define the reaction coordinate will experience an additional force @xmath21 \frac{\partial{\tilde{r}(\gamma)}}{\partial{\mathbf{r}_j}}\;.\ ] ] by choosing a sufficiently large value for the elastic constant @xmath18 , i.e. , the so - called _ stiff - spring _
approximation @xcite , the distance between the target and actual value of the rc at a given time can be kept below a desired value . in constant velocity smd simulations @xcite ,
starting from an equilibrium state characterized by @xmath22 , the target value of the rc ( or control parameter ) @xmath23 is varied in time according to @xmath24 , @xmath25 , where @xmath26 is the constant pulling speed . for each such forward
( f ) path there is a time reversed ( r ) one in which the system starts from an equilibrium state corresponding to @xmath27 and reaches @xmath22 according to the protocol @xmath28 , @xmath25 . the external work done during a smd simulation
is given by @xmath29 = k\int_{r_0}^{r(t ) } dr ( r-\tilde{r})\;.\ ] ] the f and r work distributions are not independent but related through the _ crooks fluctuation theorem _
@xcite @xmath30 where the f dissipative work is given by @xmath31 with @xmath32-u[{r(0)}]$ ] . in principle , the pmf can be determined from the so - called jarzynski equality ( je ) @xcite @xmath33 that follows directly from eq .
@xcite . within the stiff - spring approximation
the sought pmf is given by the second cumulant approximation @xcite @xmath34 \right\rangle \approx \langle{w_f}\rangle -\sigma^2_f /2\;,\\
\sigma^2_f & = & \langle{w_f^2}\rangle - \langle w_f\rangle^2\;,\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath35 is the variance ( 2nd cumulant ) of the f work . also , within the stiff - spring approximation the work distribution function @xmath36 is gaussian and , therefore , the cumulant approximation is exact @xcite .
however , in practice eq . is valid only close to equilibrium because smd pulling paths can sample only a narrow region about the peak of the gaussian @xmath36 , while the validity of je is crucially dependent on very rare trajectories with negative dissipative work ( @xmath37 ) .
thus , in general , having only a few smd trajectories one can determine fairly accurately the mean work @xmath38 but not the variance @xmath39 , which in most cases is seriously underestimated . in the fr method
this shortcoming is eliminated by combining both f and r pulling trajectories and employing eq . , which is more general than the je . within the stiff - spring approximation , eq .
implies that the f and r work distribution functions are identical but displaced gaussians , and the pmf and the mean dissipative work @xmath40 can be determined from the following simple equations @xcite @xmath41 @xmath42 and [ eq : fr-2 ] @xmath43 equations are the key formulas of our fr method for calculating pmfs from fast f and r smd pullings . clearly , the superiority of the fr method , for calculating the pmf ( and the mean dissipative work ) , compared to the one based on the je equation is due to the fact that eqs .
contain only the mean f and r work ( whose values can be estimated rather accurately even from a few smd trajectories ) and not the corresponding variance . in fact the latter ( see eq . )
is also determined by the mean f and r work .
although , strictly speaking , the fr method can only determine the pmf difference between initially equilibrated states connected by f and r smd trajectories , in practice we find that in many cases eqs - give good results even between the division points @xmath44 , @xmath45 , of the interested interval [ @xmath46,@xmath47 .
the reason for this is that for a stiff harmonic guiding potential the equilibrium distribution of the rc is a narrow gaussian that can be sampled through very short md simulations .
thus , even if the system is far from equilibrium due to fast pulling by a sufficiently stiff spring , the instantaneous value of the rc will always be sufficiently close to its equilibrium value .
however , even in such cases the pulling speed should not exceed values that would cause excessive perturbation to the rest of the degrees of freedom of the system .
thus , the number of division points , @xmath48 , does not need to be large , implying a fairly small computational overhead for the equilibration of the system at @xmath44 , @xmath45 .
an alternative approach for calculating the pmf difference between two equilibrium states connected by @xmath49 forward and @xmath50 reverse smd paths is based on the _ maximum likelihood estimator _ ( mle )
method applied to crooks fluctuation theorem @xcite , i.e. , @xmath51 we use eq . to test the accuracy of the pmf results obtained with our fr method .
finally , since it is reasonable to assume that @xmath52 is proportional to the pulling speed @xmath26 , one can readily determine the position dependent friction coefficient @xmath53 from the slope of the mean dissipative work @xmath54 .
then , the corresponding diffusion coefficient is given by the einstein relation ( in @xmath15 energy units ) @xcite @xmath55 once both @xmath1 and @xmath56 are determined , the dynamics of the reaction coordinate on a macroscopic time scale can be described by the langevin equation corresponding to an overdamped brownian particle@xcite [ eq : fr - l - fp ] @xmath57 or equivalently , by the corresponding fokker - planck equation for the probability distribution function @xmath58 of the reaction coordinate @xmath59+\partial_r[u'(r ) p(r , t)]\ ; , \end{split}\ ] ] where @xmath60 is the langevin force ( modeled as a gaussian white noise ) and @xmath61 is the probability current density .
for example ,
eq . can be used to calculate the mean folding time of deca - alanine ( see sec . [ sec:10ala - results ] ) from the completely stretched ( coil ) conformation @xmath62 to the folded ( helical ) conformation @xmath63 as the corresponding _ mean first passage time _
( mfpt ) @xcite , i.e. , @xmath64
deca - alanine is a small oligopeptide composed of ten alanine residues ( fig .
[ fig:1 ] ) .
the equilibrium conformation of deca - alanine , in the absence of solvent and coupled to an artificial heat bath at room temperature , is an @xmath65helix .
the system can be stretched to an extended ( coil ) conformation by applying an external force that pulls its ends apart .
once the stretched system is released it will refold spontaneously into its native @xmath65helical conformation .
thus , this can be regarded as a simple protein unfolding and refolding problem that can be comfortably studied via smd simulations due to the relatively small ( 104 atoms ) system size .
it is natural to define the reaction coordinate as the distance @xmath3 between the first ( ca@xmath66 ) and the last ( ca@xmath67 ) @xmath68 atoms . to calculate the pmf , @xmath1 , that describes the energetics of the folding / unfolding process we have use smd simulations to generate a small number ( in general 10 ) f and r pulling trajectories and apply the pmf calculation methods described in sec .
[ sec : theory ] , i.e. , the fr method [ eqs . ] , the je method [ eq . ] and the mle method [ eq . ] .
the smd harmonic guiding potential corresponded to an ideal spring of tunable undeformed length @xmath23 inserted between ca@xmath66 and ca@xmath67 ( see fig .
[ fig:1]a ) .
note that this choice of the guiding potential is more natural than the one customarily used in the literature in which the atom attached to one of the two ends of the spring is fixed @xcite .
is defined as the distance between the first ( ca@xmath66 ) and last ( ca@xmath67 ) @xmath68 atoms , i.e. , the end - to - end distance of the peptide .
the spring , with elastic constant @xmath18 , connecting ca@xmath66 and ca@xmath67 corresponds to an elastic guiding potential @xmath69 ^ 2 $ ] that can be used to cycle deca - alanine between the ( b ) folded and ( c ) unfolded ( completely stretched ) conformations . in ( b ) and
( c ) the backbone ( sidechain ) atoms are shown in cartoon ( cpk ) representation . in
the folded ( b ) configuration the hydrogen bonds that stabilize the @xmath70-helix are also shown .
( snapshots rendered with the program vmd @xcite).,width=326 ] the computer model of deca - alanine was built by employing the molecular modeling software vmd @xcite .
all simulations were performed with namd 2.5 @xcite and the charmm27 force field for proteins @xcite .
a cutoff of 12 ( switching function starting at 10 ) for van der waals interactions were used .
an integration time step of @xmath71 fs was employed by using the shake constraint on all hydrogen atoms @xcite .
the temperature was kept constant ( at @xmath72 k ) by coupling the system to a langevin heat bath .
the system was subjected to several equilibrium md and non - equilibrium smd simulations .
we divided the reaction coordinate @xmath73~\text{\aa}$ ] into ten equidistant intervals ( windows ) delimited by the points @xmath74 , @xmath75 .
next , a pool of equilibrium states were generated for each @xmath44 from @xmath76 ns long equilibrium md trajectories .
these states were used as starting configurations for the smd f and r pulls on each of the ten intervals .
the spring constant in these equilibrium md simulations was @xmath77 kcal / mol / @xmath78 .
the equilibrium length of the folded deca - alanine was determined from two free md simulations starting from a compressed ( @xmath79 ) and the completely stretched ( @xmath80 ) configurations of deca - alanine .
both simulations led to the same equilibrium length @xmath81 . in order to calculate @xmath1 a total of six sets of f and r
smd simulations were carried out . in each of the first three sets of smd
runs we used ten simulation windows , but three different pulling speeds : @xmath82
/ ps , @xmath83 / ps , and @xmath84 / ps . the sets corresponding to @xmath85 consisted of @xmath86 f and @xmath86 r smd trajectories . for the quasi - equilibrium pulling speed @xmath87 only one f and r runs were performed . in the last three sets of smd simulations we used a single simulation window , covering the entire range of the rc , and used the same three pulling speeds as in the previous smd runs .
for all six sets of smd simulations , the stiff - spring constant was @xmath88 kcal / mol / @xmath78 . to construct the forward and reverse work distribution functions on the segment @xmath89~\text{\aa}$ ]
, we performed @xmath90 f and the same number of r smd simulations . in order to generate a sufficient number of starting equilibrium configurations it was necessary to extend the equilibration runs at both @xmath91 and @xmath92 to @xmath93 ns .
in all these simulations we used a pulling speed of @xmath94 / ps and a spring constant of @xmath88 kcal / mol / @xmath78 . finally , to estimate the mean refolding time of the completely stretched deca - alanine we performed 100 free md simulations starting from an equilibrium configuration corresponding to @xmath95 .
as soon as deca - alanine reached its folded , equilibrium length @xmath96 the simulation was stopped and the refolding time recorded .
the pmfs calculated using the fr method corresponding to the six different pulling protocols described in sec .
[ sec:10ala - modeling ] are shown in fig .
[ fig:2 ] .
as expected , for the very small pulling speed @xmath87 the system is in quasi - equilibrium throughout the smd runs leading to the same ( true ) pmf regardless of the number of simulation windows considered .
however , while the dissipative work is negligible for both f and r processes , repetition of these simulations resulted in different pmfs for @xmath97 , and it will be discussed below ( see also fig . [ fig:5 ] ) . not surprisingly , in case of the very fast pulling speed @xmath98 , the pmf for the single simulation window is rather poor along @xmath3 except at the end - points of the window .
indeed , the fr method allows to calculate the pmf difference between two equilibrium states connected by fast f and r smd processes that follow the same protocol .
however , it is remarkable that using ten simulation windows , even at this large pulling speed the resulting pmf is rather close to the real one . for the still fast pulling speed @xmath99 the situation is similar . while the single simulation window case lead to a rather poor pmf
( though somewhat better than in the @xmath98 case ) , the ten simulation windows result is almost indistinguishable from the true pmf . .
the different curves were obtained with the fr method by employing different simulation and pmf calculation protocols described in the text.,width=326 ] for comparison , the pmfs calculated at @xmath44 , @xmath100 using the mle method for both @xmath98 and @xmath99 are also shown in fig .
[ fig:2 ] . based on these results
one may conclude that the fr method gives very good pmf even for fast pulling speeds and using only a few f and r trajectories , provided that a sufficient number of simulation windows are used . a comparison between @xmath1 obtained from the fr method and the cumulant approximation of the je method ( applied separately for the f and for the r smd trajectories ) are shown in fig . [ fig:3 ] .
in general , the fr method yields better pmf in all cases , and especially when one employs ( i ) one simulation window ( fig .
[ fig:3]a and c ) , and ( ii ) a very large pulling speed @xmath98 ( fig .
[ fig:3 ] a and b ) .
obtained using the fr method ( thick solid line ) and the cumulant approximation of the je corresponding to the ten forward ( dashed line ) and reverse ( dot - dashed line ) smd trajectories , respectively .
the thin solid line corresponds to the exact pmf .
the upper ( lower ) panels correspond to a uniform pulling speed of @xmath101 ( @xmath102 ) .
the pmfs in the right panels were determined by dividing the @xmath103 pulling distance into ten equidistant segments ( the system being equilibrated in each of the end points of the individual segments ) , while the pmfs in the left panels were determined by considering the entire pulling distance as a single segment.,width=326 ] for the ten simulation windows with pulling speed @xmath99 ( fig .
[ fig:3 ] d ) the fr and je methods are comparable though even in this case the je f ( r ) method systematically over ( under ) estimates the pmf . note , however , that an average of the je pmfs for the f and r trajectories leads to a result very close to the fr one .
an important prediction of the fr method is that , provided that the stiff - spring approximation holds , the f and r work distributions are identical gaussians centered about the mean f and r work , and therefore shifted by @xmath104 . to test this prediction
we have determined the work distribution histogram corresponding to @xmath90 f and a same number of r smd trajectories corresponding to the rc segment @xmath89~\text{\aa}$ ] .
the results are shown in fig .
[ fig:4 ] .
although the histograms seem to be gaussian ( dashed lines ) they are not identical as predicted by the fr method . in a previous study @xcite the clear deviation from gaussian of the external work distribution in case of deca - alanine was pointed out and it was attributed to the non - markovian nature of the underlying dynamics of the system . however
, in our case both work distributions look gaussian and the relatively small but clearly noticeable difference between them may be due either to the failure of the stiff - spring approximation or to incomplete sampling . after all , the end - to - end distance is a poor and insufficient reaction coordinate for describing the folding and unfolding processes of a polypeptide . ) and reverse ( @xmath105 ) works along the segment @xmath106\text{\aa}$ ] .
although the histograms seem to be gaussian ( dashed lines ) they are not identical as predicted by the fr method ( see text for details).,width=326 ] this last point becomes rather clear when the system is subjected to repeated folding ( r ) and unfolding ( f ) processes at the quasi - equilibrium speed @xmath87 . at this speed
the system is at almost equilibrium throughout the smd pulls and one expect that the pmf is given by the external work , i.e. , the dissipated energy ( which is a stochastic quantity ) is negligible .
while for @xmath107 one gets systematically the same pmf , for @xmath108~\text{\aa}$ ] one obtains different pmfs depending on the direction of pulling , as one can see in fig .
[ fig:5]b . ) f and r pullings .
( b ) the pmf @xmath1 calculated as the external work done during the quasi - equilibrium f ( dashed line ) and r ( solid line ) pullings .
the discrepancy between the two pmfs is most likely due to the difference on how the h - bonds are formed and destroyed during the forced folding and unfolding processes , respectively , as indicated in the inset snapshots of the peptide .
dark ( lite ) color corresponds to the r ( f ) process.,width=326 ] a careful inspection of these trajectories reveal that the folding and unfolding processes occur through different pathways in the above mentioned range of the rc .
thus , it appears that @xmath3 is not sufficient to specify the metastable intermediate states of the system , and a more complete description requires the introduction of extra order parameters , e.g. , the distribution of the hydrogen bonds ( h - bonds ) in the peptide .
indeed , the dynamics of the formation and rupture of the h - bonds during folding and unfolding , respectively , may be rather different . as shown in the inset snapshots in fig .
[ fig:5]b , the formation of the six h - bonds during the r process is much more homogeneous than their rupture during the corresponding f process .
this observation is reinforced by the time dependence of the average number of h - bonds in deca - alanine shown in fig .
[ fig:5]a .
thus there are at least two distinctive pathways in the helix - to - coil transition of deca - alanine , both being explored during quasi - static pullings . during fast pulling ,
however , one of the pathways is preferred compared to the other . finally , as an application of the determined pmf and the diffusion coefficient , which was found to be approximately constant @xmath109 , we calculated the mean folding time ( i.e. , coil - to - helix transition ) by employing eq . .
the theoretical result of @xmath110 ps compares rather well with the mfpt of @xmath111 ps obtained from the @xmath112 free md refolding simulations described in sec .
[ sec:10ala - modeling ] .
gramicidin a ( ga ) is the smallest known ion channel that selectively conducts cations across lipid bilayers @xcite .
ga is a dimer of two barrel - like @xmath114-helices that form a @xmath115 long and @xmath116 wide cylindrical pore through the lipid membrane ( fig .
[ fig : gram - a ] ) .
each helix consists of 15 alternating asp and leu amino acids . due to its structural simplicity
, ga is an important testing system for ion permeation models , and it has been extensively studied in the literature both experimentally and through computer modeling .
-helix dimer colored in green ) in pope lipid bilayer ( grey ) , solvated in water ( van der waals representation ) .
the potassium ions is shown as a blue sphere .
( b ) cross - section of the gramicidin a channel .
the @xmath117 ion ( blue ) and the water molecules move single file inside the pore .
( created with the program vmd @xcite).,width=326 ] nmr studies have shown that each end of the channel has a cation binding site that is occupied as the ion concentration is increased @xcite .
the conductance is at maximum when the average ion population in the channel is one .
the backbone carbonyls inside the pore are oriented such that the electronegative oxygen atoms face inward .
the cation selectivity of ga is mainly due to these oxygens , which attract cations and repel anions @xcite . in spite of its structural simplicity ,
the energetics of the ion transport through ga is far from trivial .
computationally , most of the difficulty arises from the sensitivity to errors due to finite - size effects and from the poor description of the polarization effects by the existing force - fields . besides the cation ga also accommodates @xmath118 single - file water molecules @xcite ( see fig .
[ fig : gram - a]b ) whose arrangement and orientation seems to play an important role in stabilizing the ion within the channel @xcite .
previous pmf calculations of the potassium ion , @xmath4 , through ga yielded a large central barrier that resulted in a conductance orders of magnitude below those measured .
in has been speculated that the measured conductance can be reproduced by a pmf that has a @xmath119 k@xmath120 t deep energy well at both ends of the channel and a @xmath121 k@xmath120 t barrier in the middle @xcite .
although pmf calculation methods that try to compensate for finite - size and polarization effects have improved in recent years , they continue to yield results that do not match the experimental ones .
most of these methods employ equilibrium md simulations with umbrella sampling @xcite and combined md simulations with continuum electrostatics theory @xcite .
recent attempt to apply the je method ( see sec .
[ sec : theory ] ) for calculating the pmf of @xmath4 in ga did not yield the desired result @xcite . here
we apply our fr method to calculate both the pmf , @xmath122 , and the position dependent diffusion coefficient , @xmath123 , of @xmath4 in ga , and compare our results with the ones from the literature .
the computer model of ga was constructed from its high resolution nmr structure ( protein data bank code 1jno @xcite ) . after adding the missing hydrogens ,
the structure was energy minimized . using the vmd @xcite plugin _ membrane _
the system was inserted into a previously pre - equilibrated patch of pope lipid bilayer with size @xmath124 @xmath78 .
lipids within @xmath125 of the protein were removed .
then , the membrane - protein complex was solvated in water , using the vmd plugin _
solvate_. the final system contained a total of @xmath126 atoms , including 155 lipid molecules and @xmath127 water molecules .
after proper energy minimization and @xmath128 ns long equilibration of the system , a @xmath117 ion was added at the entrance of the channel . to preserve change neutrality a @xmath129 counterion
was also added to the solvent . finally , the system was again energy minimized for @xmath130 steps and equilibrated for @xmath128 ns with @xmath4 placed in three different positions along the @xmath5-axis of the channel , namely at @xmath131 .
the origin of the @xmath5-axis corresponded to the middle of ga ( see fig .
[ fig : gram - a]b ) . in order to prevent the pore from being dragged during the smd pulls of the @xmath4 ion ,
two types of restraints were imposed : ( i ) backbone atoms restrained to their equilibrium positions ( referred to as _ fully restrained _ ) ; and ( ii ) backbone atoms restrained only along the @xmath5-axis ( referred to as _ z - restrained _ ) .
the f and r smd simulations ( needed to obtain the pmf using the fr method ) were performed on three systems : ( s1 ) backbone of the channel fully restrained with only one pair of @xmath4 and @xmath132 ions in the system ; ( s2 ) backbone of the channel fully restrained with @xmath133 mm electrolyte concentration ( obtained by adding @xmath134 extra pairs of @xmath117 and @xmath129 ions to the solvent using the vmd plugin _ autoionize _ ) ; and ( s3 ) backbone of the channel @xmath5-restrained and electrolyte concentration @xmath133 mm .
a total of @xmath86 f and @xmath86 r smd pulls were performed along the @xmath5-axis of ga on two segments : @xmath135 $ ] and @xmath136 $ ] , corresponding to the two helical monomers .
the pulling speed was @xmath137 / ns , while the spring constant of the harmonic potential that guided @xmath4 across the pore was @xmath138 kcal / mol / @xmath139 .
a comparison of the pmfs of @xmath4 along the axis of ga obtained for systems s1 , s2 and s3 by employing the fr method is shown in fig . [
fig : pmf - protocol - comp ] . for ga with fully restrained backbones ( i.e. , systems s1 and s2 )
the pmfs have only a weak dependence on the electrolyte concentration , and exhibit a huge central potential barrier of @xmath140 k@xmath120 t , which is due to the artificially imposed rigidity of the system .
applied along the @xmath5-direction ( dashed line ) , and ( ii ) @xmath4 pulled along the axis of the channel ( thick solid line).,width=326 ] once the flexibility of the ga channel in the plane of the membrane is restored by restraining the backbone atoms only along the @xmath5-axis ( i.e. , system s3 ) , the central barrier of the pmf decreases to @xmath141 k@xmath120 t , as shown in fig .
[ fig : pmf - protocol - comp ] ( thick solid line ) . the transverse flexibility of the channel leads to fluctuations in its radius that facilitate the diffusion of @xmath4 along the pore .
this is in total agreement with previously published results , which emphasize the crucial role played by the flexibility of the ga channel in its cation transport properties @xcite .
the pmf for system s3 was determined with the fr method by employing two different pulling protocols .
first , the pulling force on @xmath4 was applied along the @xmath5-axis ( dashed line in fig .
[ fig : pmf - protocol - comp ] ) but there was no restrain on the cation s motion in the cross section of the pore ( i.e. , in the @xmath142-plane ) .
in the second set of pullings , beside the elastic pulling force oriented along the @xmath5-axis , the potassium ion was constrained to move along the axis of the channel ( thick solid line in fig . [
fig : pmf - protocol - comp ] ) .
as one can see in fig .
[ fig : pmf - protocol - comp ] , both pulling protocols yielded essentially the same pmf .
thus , we preferred using routinely the second pulling method especially because during the first one the potassium ion occasionally escaped between the two helices into the lipid bilayer .
the pmf , @xmath122 , was calculated separately for the two segments ( corresponding to the two helical monomers ) using eqs . .
the work done during the f and r smd pullings are plotted in fig .
[ fig : work - pmf]a and fig .
[ fig : work - pmf]b , respectively .
( a ) individual ( thin lines ) and mean ( thick line ) work for f pulls ; ( b ) individual ( thin lines ) and mean ( thick line ) work for r pulls ; ( c ) @xmath122 along the two segments ( dashed line ) ; the symmetrized pmf is shown as solid line ( see text ) ; ( d ) mean dissipative work @xmath143 along the two segments , @xmath144 ( dotted line ) and @xmath145 ( dashed line ) , and their arithmetic mean ( solid line ) .
the slope of the linear @xmath143 yields a constant diffusion coefficient @xmath146 @xmath139/ns.,width=326 ] due to the symmetry of ga with respect to its center , the pmf for the two segments ( dashed lines in fig .
[ fig : work - pmf]c ) form nearly mirror - images .
therefore , a better estimate of the pmf for the entire ga can be obtained by symmetrizing @xmath122 with respect to the center of the channel ( i.e. @xmath147 ) ( solid line in fig . [
fig : work - pmf]c ) . the f and
r mean dissipative works , @xmath148 , ( averaged over the two segments ) are also shown in fig .
[ fig : work - pmf]d ( dotted and dashed lines , respectively ) .
the fact that @xmath149 and @xmath150 closely match each other is another indication that our fr method seems to work fine in the case of the ga channel too .
note that @xmath143 , averaged over the f and r processes , ( thick line in fig .
[ fig : work - pmf]d ) is almost linear , which according to eq .
yields a constant diffusion coefficient @xmath151 @xmath78/ns .
now , the obtained @xmath2 and @xmath122 can be used to solve eqs . and/or
for making prediction on the long time dynamics of the @xmath4 ion in the ga channel . ) of f and r
fast smd pulling trajectories .
the je method was employed in both f ( dotted lines ) and r ( dash - dotted lines ) directions.,width=326 ] the comparison between @xmath122 and @xmath143 obtained from the fr method ( thick solid lines ) and the cumulant approximation ( ca ) of the je approach ( thick dashed lines ) , respectively , is shown in fig .
[ fig : pmf - wd_fr - vs - je]a .
the bias in the cumulant approximation of the je method applied either to the f ( ca@xmath152 , dotted lines ) or to the r ( ca@xmath153 , dash - dotted lines ) processes is manifest in fig .
[ fig : pmf - wd_fr - vs - je ] .
while the former ( ca@xmath152 ) systematically underestimates the peaks in the pmf and the corresponding mean dissipative work , the latter ( ca@xmath153 ) systematically overestimates the same quantities .
the difference between the central barrier height of the ca@xmath152 and ca@xmath153 pmfs is @xmath154 k@xmath120 t , while at the channel entrance the difference is almost twice as big ( @xmath155 k@xmath120 t ) .
the negative ( positive ) bias in ca@xmath152 ( ca@xmath153 ) is due to the fact that the je approach uses explicitly the variance ( i.e. , the 2nd cumulant ) of the corresponding non - equilibrium work distributions , which ( unlike the mean work ) can not be accurately estimated from a few smd pullings ( see sec .
[ sec : theory ] ) .
however , by averaging ca@xmath152 and ca@xmath153 the opposite biases more or less cancel out and the resulting mean pmf ( thick dashed line in fig . [
fig : pmf - wd_fr - vs - je]a ) becomes a close match to @xmath122 calculated from the fr method . according to fig .
[ fig : pmf - wd_fr - vs - je]b , the same conclusion can be drawn for the mean dissipative work as well .
our @xmath122 , calculated using the fr method , ( thick solid line in fig .
[ fig : frvsus ] ) has two @xmath118 @xmath15 deep wells positioned at the entrances in the channel ( @xmath156 ) and two high barriers of @xmath157 @xmath15 positioned close to the center of the channel ( @xmath158 ) .
another small barrier ( @xmath159 @xmath15 ) appears to be located between the two high barriers , right at the geometrical center of ga .
this small center barrier is well separated by the two main ones by a potential well of @xmath160 k@xmath120 t . according to fig .
[ fig : frvsus ] , our pmf ( thick solid line ) is rather similar to the ones reported in recent publications by bastug _
et al _ @xcite ( double - dot - dashed line ) and by allen _
et al _ @xcite ( dot - dashed line ) .
these authors used the standard umbrella sampling ( us ) method @xcite to calculate their pmfs .
as shown in fig . [ fig : frvsus ] , besides the small difference in the positions of the wells at the ends of the ga channel , there are two notable differences between the pmfs obtained by the fr and us methods .
first , the barrier height of the pmf computed with the fr method is only @xmath141 k@xmath120 t as compared to @xmath161 k@xmath120 t obtained from us .
second , the central peak in @xmath122 obtained from the fr ( us ) method is @xmath162 k@xmath120 t below ( above ) the two main peaks . in the ga channel determined from the fr method ( by employing different smd pulling protocols as described in the text ) , and the umbrella sampling method @xcite.,width=326 ] to test the reliability of the fr method for determining @xmath122 , besides the standard pulling protocol ( involving @xmath86 smd pulls in both f and r directions with a pulling speed @xmath163 / ns ) , we have used two additional ones , involving only @xmath93 smd pulls in both f and r directions .
the two pulling protocols differed only in their pulling speeds , namely @xmath163 / ns in the first ( thin - solid line in fig .
[ fig : frvsus ] ) and @xmath164 / ns ( dotted line in fig .
[ fig : frvsus ] ) in the second . as
seen in fig .
[ fig : frvsus ] , all three fr method calculations yielded a consistent pmf , with noticeable differences only around the ends of the ga channel .
although the fr method leads to @xmath122 similar to the us result ( albeit with a smaller main barrier height ) none of these pmfs is suitable for reproducing the experimentally measured @xmath4 conductivity of the ga channel .
this would require a channel entrance well depth of @xmath119 k@xmath120 t and a main barrier height of @xmath121 k@xmath120 t @xcite .
the main problems in getting these values are due to the limitations of the currently used md methods that use empirical non - polarizable forcefields and , therefore , can not account for the induced polarization in the lipid hydrocarbons and , most importantly , for the polarization of water in the course of the md simulations @xcite . in order to mimic polarization effects caused by the passage of @xmath117 through the channel
, we reduced the partial charge of the ion from @xmath165 to @xmath166 in system s3 ( see sec .
[ ga - modeling ] ) , and carried out new smd f and r pullings for recalculating the pmf through the fr method .
the resulting @xmath122 is shown in fig .
[ fig : frvsus ] ( dashed line ) . as one can see , in the new pmf the potential wells at the entrance of the channel moved by @xmath167 towards the center and their depth increased to @xmath168 @xmath15 . furthermore , in a more dramatic change , the height of the barrier decreased from @xmath141 k@xmath120 t to @xmath169 k@xmath120 t .
although the above approach to account for polarization effects is rather simplistic , the obtained pmf ( apart from the new positions of the potential wells ) has the previously estimated form @xcite that is capable for describing quantitatively the transport of @xmath4 in ga .
in this paper we have shown that the _ fr method _ @xcite provides an effective approach for calculating both the pmf , @xmath1 , and the diffusion coefficient , @xmath56 , along a properly chosen reaction coordinate @xmath3 , in biomolecular systems by using only a small number of fast forward and time reversed constant velocity smd simulations .
the obtained pmfs for deca - alanine are in good agreement with the ones reported in recent studies @xcite .
we have found that computationally the fr method is more efficient and accurate than similar pmf calculation methods , e.g. , the one based on the jarzynski equality . by employing the computed pmf and diffusion coefficient in a suitable stochastic model we could estimate important characteristics of the studied systems , e.g. , the mean folding time of the stretched deca - alanine .
we also applied the fr method to calculate the pmf of a potassium ion through the gramicidin a channel . as expected from previous _ umbrella sampling _ calculations , the obtained pmf featured a main central barrier of height @xmath157 k@xmath120 t and two wells at the entrance in the channel with depth @xmath170 @xmath15 .
the pmf was reproduced rather well when using a smaller number of smd pulling trajectories and/or higher smd pulling speeds , confirming the reliability of the fr method .
the channel protein flexibility , maintained in the smd simulations by restraining the corresponding backbone atoms only along the axis of the channel , has been shown to play a major role in the transport of @xmath117 in gramicidin a. indeed , the height of the main potential barrier in a rigid channel is almost three times higher than in the flexible one .
the dissipative work inside the channel was found to be linear in @xmath5 , yielding a constant diffusion coefficient @xmath171 @xmath78/ns .
the pmf calculated from the same smd pulls using jarzynski s equality with the cumulant approximation yielded inconsistent results for both forward and reverse directions .
however , the biases in these to directions almost cancel out when averaging the forward and reverse pmfs , leading to almost the same result as the fr method .
furthermore , the fr method yielded consistently pmfs similar to the ones using the traditional umbrella sampling method but in considerably less time ( i.e. , @xmath172 days per pmf on a 64 cpu , 2.8ghz intel xeon em64 t , cluster )
. however , the conduction of the channel can not be reproduced with any of the computed pmf profiles , mainly because of the very large central barrier .
the main problem in determining pmfs in ion channels through md simulations is the poor treatment of polarization effects by the current non - polarizable forcefields . to account for the polarization of k@xmath173 inside the channel ,
its effective point charge was reduced to @xmath166 .
the recalculated pmf exhibited barrier and well sizes very close to the values needed to reproduce the experimental data .
hopefully , with new polarizable force fields the fr method will provide a simple to use , efficient and reliable tool for calculating pmfs for ion and molecular transport through channel proteins .
this work was supported in part by grants from the the institute for theoretical sciences , a joint institute of notre dame university and argonne national laboratory , the u.s .
department of energy , office of science ( contract no .
w-31 - 109-eng-38 ) , and the national science foundation ( fibr-0526854 ) .
we gratefully acknowledge the generous computational resources provided by the university of missouri bioinformatics consortium .
m. forney gratefully acknowledges a fellowship from the university of missouri undergraduate research scholars program . | arxiv |
George Granbury
Full Name: George W. Granbury
Date of death: Deceased, date unknown
H 31 Jan 11, 1881 - Jan 9, 1883 17th (1) (2) (3) Democrat Pennington / Trinity Trinity, Walker
(1) Granberry elected as a democrat, p. 1, 11/4/1880. Galveston Daily News.
(2) Trinity, Trinity County. Members of the Texas Congress 1836-1845; Members of the Texas Legislature 1846-2004, 2005.
(3) Pennington, Trinity County, lawyer, nativity Mississippi, Democrat. Pocket Directory of the Seventeenth Legislature of Texas, 1881.
Census of 1880 lists George W. Granbury of Pennington - attorney, age 50, born in Mississippi. HeritageQuest Online.
Photograph. George Granbury, 17th Legislature, Texas State Library and Archives Commission
17th session composite photo of House members (Texas State Library and Archives Commission). Texas State Library and Archives Commission.
Comptroller's and Treasurer's Office, Examine
Penitentiaries, Subcommittee on
Senatorial and Representative Districts | slim_pajama |
in the last decade or so , high - throughput searches for new materials have been gaining increasing interest as novel and rapid routes to find stable compounds .
spurred by the increasing availability of large - scale computational resources as well as the rise of a number of materials databases , it has emerged as a rapidly evolving field of materials science .
@xcite there already exist a number of computational materials repositories , including materials project , @xcite aflow library , @xcite open quantum materials database , @xcite computational materials repository , @xcite and the electronic structure project , @xcite to name a few .
these databases offer opportunities for design and discovery of new materials based on data - mining and machine - learning approaches . in recent years
this high - throughput machinery has been employed in a number of studies to search for potentially stable oxides . using a combination of machine learning and first - principles calculations , hautier and co -
workers have explored the possibility of finding `` nature s missing ternary oxides . ''
@xcite high - throughput _ ab initio _ computations have also been used to evaluate another class of oxygen based compounds , namely phosphates , as lithium - ion battery cathodes .
@xcite a systematic experimental investigation of high - throughput theoretical predictions and their structural characterization , which serves to validate the computational results , has also been performed for alkali carbonophosphate compounds .
@xcite a computational search for @xmath0-type transparent conducting oxides has also been undertaken .
@xcite very recently , cu , ag and au ternary oxides have been identified using a high - throughput search based on the minima hopping method .
@xcite in our searched chemical space of chosen cations and @xmath1 transition metals , more than two thousand three hundred oxides are listed in inorganic crystal structure database ( icsd ) , whereas only around three hundred and fifty selenides and sulfides have been reported . while significant effort has been devoted to high - throughput searches for oxides , comparatively little is known about the missing selenides and sulfides , and whether they might exist in as - yet empty ternary phases . in this contribution
we take a first step along this direction for a number of ternary @xmath1 transition metal selenides and sulfides , by identifying , _ in silico _ , which of these can be stable . using a data - mining based ionic substitution model , in conjunction with density functional theory computations we study ternary systems of the form xyz , where the cation x= ba , ca , sr , la , k , bi , pb , y is a @xmath1 transition metal and z= s or se .
there are 27 empty ternary phase diagrams with such a combination of elements . based on a bayesian likelihood estimate to minimize false negative predictions , we narrow down the search to 24 candidates .
three of these candidates are very similar to misfit structures not present in the icsd .
our predicted structures are similar , though not identical , to these disordered structures and within the framework of the ionic substitution model we only consider ordered structure types .
we performed high - throughput experiments to synthesize the remaining candidates , using solid state and gas flow reactions .
our experimental attempts resulted in only binary compounds for these systems .
based on this combined theoretical and experimental study we conclude that the ternary compounds in these 27 phase diagrams , are not accessible via standard bulk synthesis methods .
nevertheless , it is important for us to present their predicted proximity to stability , and document our experimental attempts , since other synthesis methods may produce these phases .
we generated structures using the method of hautier _ et al . _
@xcite , in which ions are substituted into existing known crystal structures to form new compounds .
the probability for such substitutions is obtained by constructing feature functions , which capture the key aspects of these replacements .
feature functions are augmented by weights for substitutions , which are extracted from ternary and quaternary ionic compounds in the icsd .
@xcite these are used to evaluate the probabilities and assign ranks to the generated structures . in this way , the ionic substitution method can generate likely structural candidates very quickly . in the following we
briefly summarize the main features of this model and refer the readers to ref . for a more detailed exposition .
the mathematical formulation of this model begins by representing any compound composed of ions , @xmath2 , ( @xmath3 ) as an @xmath4 component vector @xmath5 one then requires the probability , @xmath6 for two different compounds having the same number of components to exist in the same crystal structure .
this is expressed as @xmath7 this probability function needs to be approximated . in the ionic substitution model
this is achieved by using feature functions , @xmath8 , which capture the key aspects of the problem . a mathematical requirement for the feature function
is that it should be defined on the domain of the sought probability function and should return either 0 or 1 .
one can then approximate the probability function as @xmath9}{z},\ ] ] where @xmath10 is the weight corresponding to feature @xmath11 , and @xmath12 is analogous to a partition function which ensures normalization of the probability function .
an implicit assumption is that the feature functions do not depend on the number of ions , @xmath4 , in the compound , i.e. , ionic substitution rules do not depend on @xmath4 .
then , one assumes that the probability of two ions to replace each other is the same regardless of other ions in the compound .
this is implemented by considering only binary feature functions , which read @xmath13 every pair of ions @xmath14 is assigned feature functions of the above form .
the corresponding weights , @xmath15 , indicate how likely is the @xmath16 binary substitution .
these weights are obtained from the ternary and quaternary ionic compounds in the inorganic crystal structure database ( icsd ) .
@xcite from this database , crystal similarities are then estimated using structure comparison algorithms .
@xcite then , one can assign specific values @xmath17 to the vectors @xmath18 . for the full database this leads to @xmath19 using the above assignments ,
the maximum - likelihood approach is then employed to estimate the vector of weights @xmath20 .
the log - likelihood @xmath21 of the observed data is @xmath22.\ ] ] the weights which maximize this log - likelihood , @xmath23 , are chosen as the weights for the probabilistic ionic substitution model .
the ionic substitution method is particularly attractive for the problem we are considering , since we are interested in a survey over 27 previously empty phase diagrams .
techniques that directly search for the minimum in the free energy landscape such as refs . , while they may be preferable in terms of calculating the overall lowest energy structures , would be computationally prohibitive for this study .
once we generated the candidate structures , we followed a multi - level strategy to assess the stability of these structures .
the first level of filtering is obtained by choosing the one hundred candidate structures with highest probabilities assigned by the ionic substitution model . at the next step we performed density functional theory ( dft ) calculations for these selected candidates using quantum espresso package .
@xcite we used the perdew - burke - ernzerhof ( pbe ) parameterization to the exchange - correlation functional .
@xcite to replace the core electrons we used rappe - rabe - kaxiras - joannopoulos relativistic ultrasoft pseudopotentials .
@xcite all the candidate structures were relaxed until the forces on atoms were less than 0.01 ev / and the pressure was less than 0.5 kbar .
other computational parameters were chosen following the materials project , which have been shown to lead to total energies being converged to less than 5 mev / atom .
@xcite for all calculations , we started with a ferromagnetic initialization of spins .
finally , we constructed the phase diagrams by comparing the total energies for the candidate compounds with all known binaries and elements making up the compound .
the total energies of elements and binaries were calculated with our calculation setup consistent with that for the ternaries .
we used the tools available in python materials genomics ( pymatgen ) package to analyze the data .
@xcite structural phase diagrams require a high degree of accuracy , which dft calculations do not attain .
for example , according to jain _ _ et al.__@xcite , the dft - calculated hull energies in the searched chemical space are close to normally distributed .
only 40% of the 106 existing ternaries in the searched chemical space lie on the hull .
ultimately , we wish to make a binary decision : we either attempt to synthesize a compound or not , based on the dft calculations .
there are thus two potential errors one can make : false positive , in which a compound is suggested for synthesis and does not form , and false negative , in which a candidate compound is discarded but would have formed .
we wish to consider the probability that a single structure is experimentally stable , given that the dft - calculated enthalpy of formation is @xmath24 relative to the known and proposed materials in the phase diagram . in this notation
, we include all known compounds in the phase diagram , so that if @xmath24 is negative , we expect the candidate compound to be stable . using bayes theorem , we can write @xmath25 where @xmath26 is an enthalpy of formation cutoff that we will choose and @xmath27 means that the candidate compound is stable . we can estimate the quantities as follows : * @xmath28 : in a known phase diagram , the number of stable ternaries divided by the number of ternaries with @xmath29 * @xmath30 : for known stable ternaries , the number of materials with @xmath29 divided by the number of ternaries considered .
this must be evaluated for all structures generated by the ionic substitution model . to estimate the probabilities ,
let us assume a gaussian distribution for @xmath30 with a standard deviation of 0.1 ev .
we estimate @xmath31 .
@xmath32 is the number of experimentally stable structures , while @xmath33 is the number of proposed structures with @xmath34 . here
the proposed structures are the ones screened by the ionic substitution model .
the estimates for @xmath33 and @xmath35 are obtained from ternary phase diagrams in the same chemical space which have known ternary compounds .
we used the ionic substitution model and total energy calculations to estimate @xmath36 and @xmath37 structure / ev .
@xmath38 controls the y - intercept of fig .
[ fig : probability_model ] , and @xmath35 partially affects the slope . since @xmath38 and @xmath35 are the most uncertain values in this model , we have checked that the results are reasonably robust to their choice as shown in fig .
[ fig : probability_model ] . to demonstrate that our choices are reasonable
, we display hull energies for sn - cu - s system from the materials project@xcite in fig . [ fig : probability_model](b ) .
our parameters also agree with extensive cross validation for known phase diagrams in the literature , such as that undertaken by hautier and coauthors @xcite .
when choosing @xmath26 , we need to consider both the false positive rate : @xmath39 and the false negative rate : @xmath40 estimated probabilities of false positive and false negative identifications are shown in fig .
[ fig : probability_model ] , with varying cutoff , @xmath26 , and a choice of @xmath41 and @xmath42 . to avoid missing new compounds
, we would like to minimize the likelihood of false negative predictions and we set @xmath43 ev .
however , this means that our false positive rate ends up being quite large , or in other words the true positive rate would be low . for our choice of @xmath43 ev , the probability of true positive predictions is around 0.05 - 0.1 , depending on the values of @xmath35 and @xmath38 .
taking into account the errors associated with the prediction method our model allows us to estimate the false positive and false negative rates associated with our predictions .
as we will report later in the paper , our high - throughput experiments find 3 out of the predicted 24 candidates to be stable .
this ratio is close to our bayesian estimate of true positive predictions .
this good agreement suggests that our bayesian model provides a reasonable framework to analyze the reliability of the prediction methods .
it also provides insight that the inherent uncertainties in dft energies leads to a high false positive rate , if the cutoff is set so that the false negative rate is low .
it also sheds light on the reason behind why many of the dft - predicted compounds were not synthesized in our experiments .
[ cols="^,^,^,^,^,^,^ " , ] [ table_summary ] our results for the candidate compounds are summarized in table [ table_summary ] and their structures are shown in fig .
[ collected_structures ] .
we find that in nearly two - thirds of our predicted compounds , the transition metal is in four - fold coordination .
these tetrahedra can be either edge sharing , vertex sharing , both edge as well as vertex sharing or can be isolated from each other . in the remaining compounds the transition metal - anion octahedra are edge sharing .
we also observe that a number of compounds form one - dimensional chains . here
we would like to make some general comparisons of our predicted class of compounds with the existing ternary systems within the same chemical space .
a majority of compounds that we have predicted have metallic character according to dft - pbe ( sixteen out of a total of twenty four ) .
this ratio is similar to that of the known ternaries with the same constituent elements , where nearly sixty compounds ( out of the existing 106 compounds ) have a zero band gap .
however , pbe is known to underestimate band gaps , and these values should be taken with caution . among our predicted compounds ,
fifteen have a magnetic moment greater than 0.05 @xmath44 per transition metal atom . in the existing ternaries
the ratio of ones with magnetic moment is very similar , with nearly fifty five percent of the compounds showing a finite magnetic moment .
crystallographic information files for all compounds is provided in the supplemental material .
@xcite we have also computed the enthalpies of formation of our candidate compounds including a correction which adjusts the energies of the elements to correct for the errors known to affect the values predicted by dft .
we use the fitted elemental - phase reference energy ( fere ) correction proposed by stevanovic _
et al_. @xcite following these authors , we used the pbe+u method , using @xmath45 for cu and @xmath46 for all other @xmath1 transition metals .
a comparison of the hull energies without and with the fere correction is shown in fig .
[ fig : hull_energy_fere ] . for most candidate compounds , the hull energies calculated without and with the correction are close enough to one another that we would not have changed our decision making process .
a pronounced discrepancy appears for pb@xmath47fese@xmath48 because the fere correction for pb has not been reported and we , therefore , did not apply the correction for pb .
varying the chemical potentials of different constituent elements provides an additional control knob and allows one to stabilize different compositions in the phase diagram .
@xcite the variation of hull energies for our candidate compounds , as a function of chemical potential of the anion and the transition metal are shown in figs .
[ fig : chem_pot1 ] and [ fig : chem_pot2 ] . the optimal range for synthesis
is marked by the black lines and may provide guidance to future attempts to synthesize these materials .
let us next categorize the compounds based on their structural motifs and discuss their electronic and magnetic properties in more detail .
we begin with the class of ternaries comprising of transition metals and anions forming edge - sharing tetrahedra .
two of these , srmn@xmath49s@xmath48 and camn@xmath49s@xmath48 , are isostructural , crystallizing in the pbc@xmath47o@xmath50 parent structure type . as shown in fig .
[ collected_structures ] , mn atoms are coordinated in edge sharing tetrahedra forming one - dimensional chains . while camn@xmath49s@xmath48 lies slightly above the convex hull ( @xmath51 ev / atom ) , srmn@xmath49s@xmath48 is located on the convex hull , with an inverse hull energy , @xmath52 ev / atom .
both these materials show a very similar electronic structure , with sr to ca replacement having negligible effects .
this can be seen from the density of states ( dos ) for the two compounds [ compare top left panels in fig .
[ collected_dos_set1 ] ] .
mn @xmath53 states in the two compounds are partially filled , resulting in a small magnetic moment .
the next two materials in this category , srfe@xmath47se@xmath54 and pbfe@xmath47se@xmath54 are formed in bafe@xmath47se@xmath55 parent structure type .
the structure consists of one - dimensional chains with the transition metal atoms forming edge sharing tetrahedra [ fig .
[ collected_structures ] ] .
srfe@xmath47se@xmath54 and pbfe@xmath47se@xmath54 have reasonably large inverse hull energies of -0.095 ev / atom and -0.068 ev / atom , respectively . similar to the case of srmn@xmath49s@xmath48 and camn@xmath49s@xmath48 , srfe@xmath47se@xmath54 and pbfe@xmath47se@xmath54 show nearly identical electronic structure , with cation replacement from sr to pb leaving the dos largely unchanged . for both these materials the dos at the fermi level ( @xmath56 ) comes from an almost equal admixture from fe @xmath53 levels and se @xmath0 states , as shown in top right panels of fig .
[ collected_dos_set1 ] .
pb@xmath47fese@xmath54 has an inverse hull energy of -0.095 ev / atom and forms in ba@xmath47cdse@xmath55 structure type as shown in fig .
[ collected_structures ] . for pb@xmath47fese@xmath54 , within dft - pbe
, there is a finite dos at the fermi level for the down spin electrons , while the up spin dos is zero .
dos projected ( pdos ) onto transition metal @xmath53 orbitals and anion @xmath0 orbitals indicate that the dos peak at @xmath56 arises primarily from the fe @xmath53 states .
srnis@xmath49 lies slightly above the convex hull and forms a layered structure [ fig .
[ collected_structures ] ] .
the compound is a metal with an almost equal contribution to the dos near the fermi level coming from ni @xmath53 states and s @xmath0 levels , as shown in fig .
[ collected_dos_set1 ] .
ni occupied @xmath53 states lie around 1 ev below the fermi level , and the compound has zero magnetic moment .
we move on to the compounds where the transition metal forms corner - sharing tetrahedra with s or se atoms . in this category , srmn@xmath48s@xmath57 is marginally unstable , being 0.027 ev / atom above the convex hull .
it forms a layered structure , with each s atom being shared between three mn tetrahedra ( srb@xmath48o@xmath57 structure type ) as illustrated in fig .
[ collected_structures ] .
the densities of states for the compound is shown in the middle panel of fig .
[ collected_dos_set1 ] , indicating the contribution from both spins at the fermi level .
pdos plots reveal , however , that near the fermi level the overlap between the transition metal @xmath53 states and anion @xmath0 levels occurs predominantly for the up spin , while being largely suppressed for the opposite spin .
the next compound in this class , sr@xmath47fese@xmath54 , crystallizes in the eu@xmath47cus@xmath55 parent structure type , with fe atoms forming vertex sharing tetrahedral chains , and has an inverse hull energy of -0.094 ev / atom .
ba@xmath49sc@xmath49s@xmath58 lies 0.068 ev / atom above the convex hull and crystallizes in the sr@xmath47ga@xmath47s@xmath59 structure type , with sc atoms being present in a tetrahedral coordination .
it has a zero magnetic moment along with a large dft - pbe band gap of 2.61 ev [ fig .
[ collected_dos_set1 ] ] .
the majority of the dos contribution in the occupied states arises from s @xmath0 orbitals , with the sc @xmath53 orbitals being predominantly empty . in the class of compounds with both edge- as well as corner - sharing tetrahedra , isostructural compounds srcu@xmath49se@xmath49 and srcu@xmath49s@xmath49 are marginally above the hull by 0.054 ev / atom and 0.027 ev / atom , respectively .
they are predicted to crystallize in the bacu@xmath47s@xmath47 structure type .
cu atoms are in a tetrahedral coordination , with the tetrahedra lying in an alternating tilting arrangement , as shown in fig .
[ collected_structures ] .
we find that both the materials show a finite dft - pbe band gap , as can be seen from the bottom center panels of fig .
[ collected_dos_set1 ] . filled cu @xmath53 orbitals in both these compounds lie nearly 3 ev below the fermi level , and the magnetic moments are zero .
lafese@xmath47 has a substantial inverse hull energy of -0.176 ev / atom and is the most stable compound that we have found .
it crystallizes in culas@xmath47 parent structure . as shown in fig .
[ collected_dos_set1 ] , lafese@xmath47 has a peculiar density of states , where there is a small , but finite , dos at the fermi level for the down spin electrons , while the up spin dos is negligible .
lafese@xmath47 also has a large magentic moment of 2.81 @xmath44/fe atom .
we next discuss the compounds in which the transition metal atom is in a four - fold coordination with the anion , and these tetrahedra are isolated from each other .
the first two materials in this class , sr@xmath54fese@xmath58 and pb@xmath47fese@xmath48 , are predicted to crystallize in srbeeu@xmath47o@xmath59 and pb@xmath47sise@xmath50 structure types , respectively .
we find that these two compounds have small dft - pbe band gaps of around 0.2 ev , as seen from the densities of states shown in fig .
[ collected_dos_set2 ] .
close to the edges of the band gap energy window , there is a substantial overlap of fe @xmath53 states and se @xmath0 states .
the next compound , sr@xmath49vs@xmath48 , has a small inverse hull energy of -0.013 ev / atom and it forms alternating tilted isolated tetrahedra , as shown in fig .
[ collected_structures ] . for sr@xmath49vs@xmath48
, there is a majority spin peak in the dos at the fermi level , while the down spin dos vanishes .
the main contribution to this peak arises from the @xmath53 orbitals of v atoms and the compound has a magnetic moment of nearly 1 @xmath44/v atom .
the last compound in this category , k@xmath60scs@xmath48 , lies marginally above the hull by 0.014 ev / atom .
its crystal structure comprises of sc - s tetrahedra surrounded by cages of k atoms .
expectedly , the compound is non - magnetic and the @xmath53 states of sc are unoccupied .
we next discuss the compounds where transition metal forms edge sharing octahedra with s or se atoms .
the first compound in this category , bifese@xmath54 , crystallizes in sbcrse@xmath55 structure type , with the fe atoms in one - dimensional chains formed by edge sharing octahedra .
bifese@xmath54 has a 0.52 ev dft - pbe gap , with nearly equal contribution to the density of states from fe @xmath53 levels and se @xmath0 states both in occupied and unoccupied manifold , around @xmath56 [ fig .
[ collected_dos_set2 ] ] .
although , no ternaries in bi - fe - se system are reported in the icsd , very recently bi@xmath47fese@xmath50 has been synthesized .
@xcite la@xmath54scs@xmath60 , lies marginally above the convex hull ( @xmath61 ev / atom ) .
it forms an alternating arrangement of sc atoms in tetrahedral and octahedral coordination with s atoms .
we find that the dft - pbe band gap is nearly 1 ev , and similar to ba@xmath49sc@xmath49s@xmath58 , the sc @xmath53 levels are unoccupied and most of the dos contribution in the occupied manifold comes from s @xmath0 states .
srv@xmath48s@xmath57 and srcr@xmath48s@xmath57 are predicted to crystallize in bacr@xmath50s@xmath62 parent structure type .
we have obtained both these compounds to be close to the convex hull , with srv@xmath48s@xmath57 having an inverse hull energy of -0.014 ev / atom and srcr@xmath48s@xmath57 lying + 0.028 ev / atom above the hull .
we find that these two materials have an interesting layered structure and the layers themselves are interconnected by one - dimensional chains , as shown in fig .
[ collected_structures ] .
we can see from the density of states that srv@xmath48s@xmath57 and srcr@xmath48s@xmath57 have finite overlap of transition metal @xmath53 states and s @xmath0 states near the fermi level for up spin , while the overlap is much reduced for the down spin .
furthermore , we find that in moving from v to the cr compound , filling of the up spin @xmath53 states is enhanced , and as a result the magnetic moment increases from 1.51 @xmath44/v to 2.74 @xmath44/cr . finally , the last compound in this category , kscs@xmath49 , has a reasonably large inverse hull energy of -0.136 ev / atom .
it has a layered structure , with k atoms forming a spacer layer separating the sc - s layers [ fig .
[ collected_structures ] ] .
we find that this material has a relatively large dft - pbe band gap of 1.67 ev and no net magnetic moment .
we have found latis@xmath54 , lavs@xmath54 and lamns@xmath54 to be most stable in the nh@xmath50cdcl@xmath55 parent structure type .
latis@xmath54 is obtained to be slightly above the convex hull , by 0.027 ev / atom , while both lavs@xmath54 and lamns@xmath54 are found to lie on the convex hull , with inverse hull energies of -0.028 and -0.095 ev / atom , respectively .
the crystal structures are shown in fig .
[ collected_structures ] .
we obtain the three compounds to be metals within pbe . from the dos projected onto the transition metal @xmath53 orbitals and the s anion @xmath0 orbitals
, we see that they have a significant @xmath53 orbital contribution near the fermi level .
expectedly , the magnetic moment increases as one changes the transition metal going from left to right in the periodic table , i.e. , from ti to v to mn .
we can also infer this from the pdos of transition metal @xmath53 states . as we go from ti to v to mn ,
an increasing number of up spin @xmath53 states become occupied , resulting in an increasing magnetic moment .
it is interesting to observe that a la - cr - s compound is known to exist in the same nh@xmath50cdcl@xmath55 structure .
it has been found to show intriguing magnetic properties , which are reminiscent of spin glass behavior .
@xcite if the compounds that we have predicted in this structure type were synthesized , then one would have a series of compounds crystallizing in the same structure with changing transition metal from ti to mn .
this can provide a route to study trends in various properties with varying @xmath53 orbital valence .
we carried out solid state and gas flow reactions to attempt bulk synthesis of the predicted compounds .
handling of reagents was performed in a glove box under argon .
ex situ _ reactions were conducted by mixing reagents in a mortar and pestle and then loading them in 16 mm diameter quartz tubes .
these tubes were then sealed under vacuum and reacted in box furnaces at high temperatures with a ramp rate of 10@xmath63c per minute and 8 h hold time .
the reacted tubes were then water quenched at high temperatures to investigate the predicted ternary phases .
lower temperatures were also investigated due to the excess sulfur content in some reactions , and the tendency for ternary phases to form from these liquids at low temperatures .
the vapor pressures of sulfur and selenium put an upper limit to temperatures that can be reached in a solid state reaction , typically around 700@xmath63c in our work .
@xcite cs@xmath49 has been known to be a powerful sulfidizing agent for oxides , which allows gas flow reactions to be carried out at higher temperatures .
@xcite initial stoichiometric powders were kept in an alumina crucible and then loaded in a quartz reaction tube .
the quartz tube was then purged with nitrogen .
a mixture of cs@xmath49 ( 99.9% ) and nitrogen carrier gas was then flown through the reaction tube while the powders were reacted at high temperatures .
_ ex situ _ powder x - ray diffraction measurements were conducted in reflection with a bruker d5000 diffractometer with cu - k@xmath35 radiation and in transmission with a bruker d8 diffractometer with mo - k@xmath35 radiation . _ in situ _ high temperature diffraction studies were conducted in transmission with a tc - transmission capillary stage .
the stage consists of an oven which uniformly heats the sample inside a quartz capillary . here
those capillaries are sealed , 0.7 mm diameter , and doubly contained in another capillary of diameter 1 mm for support and containment .
the samples were heated at 1@xmath63c / min , held at their maximum temperature for 8 hours , then cooled at 1@xmath63c / min .
rietveld analysis was carried out using topas 5 .
@xcite thin film samples of some of the predicted compounds were grown in a multi - source molecular beam epitaxy system optimized for combinatorial composition spread .
the substrates were 75 mm diameter and subtended an area large enough to span about 30% spread in beam flux from each source .
for a ternary system , four growths targeting compositions in the middle of the phase diagram and nearer each vertex provides enough range of compositional phase space to adequately survey the compositional phase diagram and determine whether a new phase exists .
the growths were carried out at 300@xmath63c .
selenium was supplied from an effusion source with a valved thermal cracker operating at 1000@xmath63c .
this provided about 75% of the se flux in the form of se@xmath47 .
the films grown were 100 nm thick .
we have attempted synthesis of most of the predicted compounds as summarized in table [ table_summary ] .
we did not try to synthesize compounds which have completely empty ( sc based compounds ) or completely filled ( srcu@xmath47s@xmath47 and srcu@xmath47se@xmath47 ) @xmath53 orbitals , since we expect that these would not show interesting magnetic properties .
next , we describe our findings for each of the ternary systems that we have investigated .
cas ( alfa aesar , 99.9@xmath64 ) , mn ( alfa aesar , 99.3@xmath64 ) and s ( alfa aesar , 99.5@xmath64 ) powders were mixed in stoichiometric ratios and reacted at high temperatures under vacuum .
sulfidation reactions were also carried out using cs@xmath47 at 900@xmath63c .
x - ray diffraction and rietveld analysis shows presence of binary cas and mns in the reacted products ( fig . [
fig : fig21 ] ) .
these results are also summarized in tables [ exsitu ] and [ cs2 ] .
an _ in situ _ study of the initial reaction mixture containing cas , mn metal , and s in the ratio of 1:2:3 was also carried out .
the powder was loaded in a quartz capillary and sealed under vacuum .
76 diffraction patterns were collected in a duration of 36 hours as the capillary was heated to 700@xmath63c at the rate of 1@xmath63c per minute , held at 700@xmath63c for 8 hours and cooled at the rate of 1@xmath63c per minute . _ in situ _ diffraction study further confirms the absence of any ternary phase in the rt-700@xmath63c temperature range .
+ srs ( strem , 99.9@xmath64 ) , mn and s powders were mixed in stoichiometric ratio in order to check for predicted ternary phases and reacted at various temperatures .
x - ray diffraction showed no signs of a ternary phase ( fig .
[ fig : fig21 ] ) .
sulfidation was also carried using cs@xmath47 at 900@xmath63c .
the results of the _ ex situ _ reactions and gas flow reactions are displayed in table [ exsitu ] and table [ cs2 ] respectively .
an _ in situ _
study was also conducted for 1:2:8 ( srs : mn : s ) composition .
the capillary was heated at 1@xmath63c / min to 500@xmath63c , held at 500@xmath63c for 8 h and then cooled at 1@xmath63c / min .
the _ in situ _ diffraction patterns obtained did not indicate formation of a ternary phase .
+ equimolar sr chunks ( mp biomedicals , 98@xmath64 ) and se powder ( alfa aesar , 99.999@xmath64 ) were reacted using a tube - in - a - tube method@xcite to form pure strontium selenide ( srse ) .
the srse precursor was then mixed with fe and se powder for carrying out _ ex situ _ reactions .
no ternary compounds were formed ( fig . [
fig : fig21 ] ) .
the results are displayed in table [ exsitu ] .
srs , ni ( acros , 99@xmath64 ) and s powders were mixed in a stoichiometric ratio of 1:1:1 and reacted at elevated temperatures .
no new ternary phase was observed from x - ray diffraction patterns ( fig .
[ fig : fig22 ] ) .
srs , cr ( alfa aesar , 99@xmath64 ) and s powders were mixed in 1:4:6 stoichiometric ratio and reacted at high temperatures .
x - ray diffraction did not indicate formation of a ternary phase ( fig . [
fig : fig22 ] ) .
la ( alfa aesar 99.9 @xmath64 pure ) , fe and se powder were used to carry out _ ex situ _ reactions , which resulted in the formation of binaries ( fig .
[ fig : fig22 ] ) .
the results are displayed in table [ exsitu ] .
srs , v ( strem , 99@xmath64 ) , and s powders were mixed in stoichiometric ratios and reacted at high temperatures .
the results are shown in table [ exsitu ] .
the measured x - ray powder diffraction patterns of the quenched samples were complex due to the presence of multiple incompletely - reacted binary vanadium sulfides and srs .
a satisfactory rietveld fit could not be obtained , but , the diffraction patterns did not contain any unindexed peaks .
no low - angle peaks from the predicted sr@xmath47vs@xmath50 or srv@xmath50s@xmath62 phases were seen .
an _ in situ _
study was also conducted for 1:4:7 ( srs : cr : s ) composition .
the capillary was heated at 1@xmath63c / min to 500@xmath63c , held at 500@xmath63c for 8 h and then cooled at 1@xmath63c / min .
the _ in situ _ diffraction patterns obtained did not indicate formation of a ternary phase .
thin film deposition can often stabilize phases that are not seen in the bulk due to interfacial effects and control of chemical potential of some sources as well as the fact that synthesis can be carried out at much lower temperatures . thin films of pb - fe - se were grown searching for the predicted composition pbfe@xmath47se@xmath55 .
they exhibited the diffraction pattern shown in figure [ fig : pbfese ] .
the oriented nature of the sample and the small thickness preclude a meaningful rietveld fit of the data , but all peaks are accounted for by a combination of pbse , fe@xmath55se@xmath50 , and the si substrate .
no peaks from our predicted ternary pb - fe - se phases pbfe@xmath47se@xmath55 , pb@xmath47fese@xmath55 , or pb@xmath47fese@xmath50 nor from fese were seen .
it is interesting to note that the iron selenide phase that was formed has a larger se content than fese .
we have found that this is determined by the se@xmath47 flux from the cracked se source .
unlike bulk synthesis where the number of se atoms is determined , in thin film growth the beam composition and flux determines the se chemical potential . for large fluxes of more reactive molecules
the chemical potential is larger and the composition is pushed to large se content .
se@xmath50 , and the si substrate .
no new peaks that would correspond to the predicted phases in table [ table_summary ] are seen .
, title="fig : " ] + reagents & molar ratio srs : mn : s & sr : mn : s & 300@xmath63c products & 500@xmath63c products & 700@xmath63c products + srs , mn , s & 2:1:4 & 2:1:6 & srs + mns + mn + s & srs + mns + s & + srs , mn , s & 1:2:5 & 1:2:6 & srs + mns + mn + s & srs + mns + s & + srs , mn , s & 2:1:6 & 2:1:8 & srs + mns + mn + s & srs + mns + s & + srs , mn , s & 1:2:7 & 1:2:8 & srs + mns + mn + s & srs + mns + s & + srs , mn , s & 1:2:3 & 1:2:4 & srs + mns + mn + s & srs + mns & srs+mns + + reagents & molar ratio cas : mn : s & ca : mn : s & 300@xmath63c products & 500@xmath63c products & 700@xmath63c products + cas , mn , s & 1:2:3 & 1:2:4 & cas + mns + mn & cas + mns & cas + mns + + reagents & molar ratio srs : ni : s & sr : ni : s & 300@xmath63c products & 500@xmath63c products & 700@xmath63c products + srs , ni , s & 1:1:1 & 1:1:2 & srs + ni + nis & srs + ni + nis & srs + ni + nis + + reagents & molar ratio srs : cr : s & sr : cr : s & 300@xmath63c products & 500@xmath63c products & + srs , ni , s & 1:4:6 & 1:4:7 & srs + cr & srs + cr + cr@xmath47s@xmath55 + cr@xmath55s@xmath50 & + + reagents & molar ratio srse : fe : se & sr : fe : se & & 500@xmath63c products & 800@xmath63c products + srse , fe , se & 1:1:1 & 1:1:2 & & srse + fese & _ in situ _
+ srse , fe , se & 1:1:2 & 1:1:3 & & srse + fese@xmath47 & srse + fe@xmath55se@xmath50 + + reagents & molar ratio la : fe : se & la : fe : se & & 600@xmath63c products & + la , fe , se & 1:1:2 & 1:1:2 & & fese + la@xmath54se@xmath50 + lase@xmath47 & + [ exsitu ] reagents & molar ratio sr : mn & 900@xmath63c + srco@xmath55 , mn & 1:2 & srs + mns + + reagents & molar ratio ca : mn & 900@xmath63c + caco@xmath55 , mn & 1:2 & cas + mns + + reagents & molar ratio sr : v & 900@xmath63c + srco@xmath55 , v & 3:5 & srs + v@xmath55s@xmath50 + + reagents & molar ratio sr : ni & 900@xmath63c + srco@xmath55 , ni & 1:1 & srs + nis + nis@xmath47 + ni@xmath55s@xmath47 + [ cs2 ]
to summarize , in this study we investigated transition metal selenide and sulfide ternary systems of the form xyz , where the cation x= ba , ca , sr , la , k , bi , pb , y is a @xmath1 transition metal and z= s or se , whose ternary phase diagrams are known to be empty . using a combination of data - mining based ionic substitution model and first - principles density functional theory calculations
, we explored several thousand candidate structures and examined them for their stability . using a bayesian likelihood model to minimize false negative predictions , we narrowed down the search to 24 candidates .
we then carried out high - throughput experiments to attempt synthesis of these compounds using solid state and gas flow reactions .
while we found similar compounds to known misfit materials , the truly new materials were not found in our experimental synthesis .
there are three possible conclusions that result from this study : 1 .
24 of the ternary phase diagrams are actually empty .
there are new structures or structures that do not follow ionic substitution rules in the 24 potentially empty phase diagrams .
the synthesis techniques we used were not appropriate for the predicted materials .
possibilities 2 and 3 are not mutually exclusive ; there may be some new structures and some difficult - to - synthesize compounds in the chemical phase space considered .
our work can open avenues for further investigations : experimental synthesis attempts of our proposed candidate materials using alternative synthesis routes will definitely be a direction worth pursuing . given the interesting correlated electron properties of known chalcogenides , including a recently proposed oxysulfide superconductor @xcite , this can be fruitful . along the theoretical front ,
future work can include using evolutionary algorithms to find other candidate structures in this interesting chemical space and using more accurate electronic structure methods to check the stability of our proposed compounds .
the work presented here represents a tight coupling of high - throughput quantum calculations with high - throughput experiment and contains several important lessons .
we have shown that inherent errors in the density functional are sufficient to explain failures to synthesize structures that are predicted to be stable using density functional theory calculations .
higher accuracy calculations such as quantum monte carlo ( qmc)@xcite may be worth the additional computational cost , since they should allow reduction of both the false positive and false negative rates by significant margins
. however , given that currently our high - throughput synthesis techniques are faster than qmc calculations , it may be more optimal to simply accept a larger false positive rate and utilize experiments to winnow candidates .
we acknowledge support from the center for emergent superconductivity , an energy frontier research center funded by the u.s .
department of energy , office of science , office of basic energy sciences under award number deac0298ch1088 .
illuminating discussions with david ceperley , laura greene , mercouri kanatzidis , cedomir petrovic , john tranquada and jian - min zuo are gratefully acknowledged .
computational resources were provided by the university of illinois campus cluster .
_ ex situ _ initial x - ray diffraction measurements were carried out in part in the frederick seitz materials research laboratory central research facilities , university of illinois .
36ifxundefined [ 1 ] ifx#1 ifnum [ 1 ]
# 1firstoftwo secondoftwo ifx [ 1 ] # 1firstoftwo secondoftwo `` `` # 1''''@noop [ 0]secondoftwosanitize@url [ 0 ] + 12$12 & 12#1212_12%12@startlink[1]@endlink[0]@bib@innerbibempty @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop `` , '' @noop `` , '' @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * ( ) @noop ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop `` , '' @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) link:\doibase 10.1021/ja5084255 [ * * , ( ) ] @noop @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop ( ) link:\doibase 10.1111/j.1151 - 2916.1995.tb08467.x [ * * , ( ) ] @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) @noop ( ) link:\doibase 10.1021/ja303047e [ * * , ( ) ] http://stacks.iop.org/0295-5075/111/i=1/a=17002 [ * * , ( ) ] @noop * * , ( ) | arxiv |
the taylor - couette system @xcite of fluid flow in the annulus between concentric cylinders with the inner and the outer one rotating with different velocities is one of the simplest examples of a driven nonlinear dissipative system that shows spontaneous pattern formation out of an unstructured basic state that is stable at small driving @xcite .
this basic flow state is stationary and axially and azimuthally homogeneous and shows only a radial variation across the annular gap .
it consists of a superposition of circular couette flow ( ccf ) in azimuthal direction and of an annular poiseuille flow ( apf ) in axial direction if as in our case an axial through - flow is imposed .
axially periodic vortex flow solutions bifurcate @xcite out of this homogeneous basic flow when the rotation rate of the inner cylinder is sufficiently high .
these primary bifurcation thresholds to periodic vortex stuctures have been the aim of many linear stability analyses of the basic flow state @xcite . for the radius ratio @xmath7 and
the parameter ranges of rotation rates and through - flow investigated here in this work three spatiotemporally differing primary vortex structures are relevant : rotationally symmetric , toroidally closed vortices with azimuthal wave number @xmath2 that move in downstream direction with the apf for shortness we call this flow state taylor vortex flow ( tvf ) although the presence of an axial through - flow modifies the genuine stationary tvf stucture . and , furthermore , spiral vortex flow ( spi ) consisting of either left spiral vortices ( l - spi ) with @xmath8 or right spiral vortices ( r - spi ) with @xmath9 .
l - spi and r - spi are axial mirror images of each other in the absence of axial through - flow with the latter breaking the mirror symmetry of the former . while rotating azimuthally into the same direction as the inner cylinder l - spi propagate axially opposite to r - spi .
this spiral dynamics is largely induced by the advective properties of the basic flow state .
furthermore , without through - flow the symmetry degenerate bifurcation treshold for these two symmetry degenerate spi solutions is simultaneously also the bifurcation threshold for a vortex flow solution called ribbons @xcite .
this solution consists right at threshold of a linear superposition of l - spi and r - spi with equal amplitude and it becomes further away from threshold a genuine nonlinear vortex flow solution .
however , here we are dealing only with linear vortex flow fields that may be superimposed with arbitrary amplitudes as well as wave numbers and that are evolving separately from each other according to the linear field equations .
thus we do not need to discuss ribbons separately from our general investigation of linear vortex modes with general axial and azimuthal wave numbers . in this work
we quantitatively determine the influence of an axial through - flow on the spatiotemporal growth properties of linear perturbations of the basic flow state with azimuthal wave numbers @xmath2 and @xmath10 , i.e. , of toroidally closed vortices and of spiral vortices , repectively . in each case
we investigate ( _ i _ ) axially extended structures , ( _ ii _ ) pulses of axially localized wave packets of vortices , and ( _ iii _ ) vortex fronts . in sec .
[ sec.system ] we describe the system , we briefly review the linearized navier - stokes equations ( nse ) for the eigenvalue problem describing vortex perturbations , and we give details of our numerical procedure to solve the eigenvalue problem . in sec .
[ sec.extended_vortices ] we discuss the spatiotemporal structure , symmetry properties , and bifurcation thresholds for onset of axially extended vortex perturbations of the form @xmath11 with real axial wave number @xmath12 and different azimuthal wave numbers @xmath4 in the absence and presence of an axial through - flow . in sec .
[ sec.local-pertub ] we consider axially localized wave packets consisting of superpositions of vortex eigenmodes of the linear nse . here
we determine among others the boundary between convective and absolute instability of the basic flow against growth of vortices with a particular @xmath4 by a saddle point analysis of the linear complex dispersion relation of the nse over the plane of complex axial wave numbers .
in addition we also determine the ginzburg - landau amplitude equation ( gle ) approximation for the dispersion relation for the sake of comparison . in sec .
[ fronts ] we evaluate the spatiotemporal properties of linearly selected vortex fronts using a saddlepoint analysis of the dispersion relation . also here
we compare with gle results .
the final section contains a summary .
here we describe the system and we provide definitions and equations
. then we briefly review the linearized equations for the eigenvalue problem describing vortex perturbations of the basic flow state .
finally we give details of our numerical procedure to solve the eigenvalue problem .
we consider the flow of an incompressible fluid in the annulus between two concentric cylinders of inner radius @xmath13 and outer radius @xmath14 with a gap width @xmath15 .
the boundary conditions at @xmath13 and @xmath14 are no - slip .
the angular velocity of the inner and outer cylinder is @xmath16 and @xmath17 , respectively .
the associated reynolds numbers are @xmath18 where @xmath19 is the kinematic viscosity .
an externally imposed axial through - flow is measured by the axial reynolds number @xmath20 where the mean axial velocity @xmath21 averaged over the annular cross section describes the total through - flow .
we use also the relative control parameters @xmath22 measuring the relative distance of the inner reynolds number @xmath23 from the critical onset @xmath24 of axially extended spiral vortices or taylor vortices in the presence and in the absence @xmath25 of through - flow , respectively @xcite . in this notation @xmath26
is the critical threshold for onset of the vortex flow in question .
the relation between @xmath27 and @xmath28 is @xmath29 with infinitely long cylinders the only relevant parameter characterizing the geometry is the radius ratio @xmath30 .
the velocity field @xmath31 of the fluid is described by the navier - stokes equations ( nse ) for incompressible fluid flow @xmath32 here and in the following we scale positions by the gap width @xmath33 , the velocity @xmath34 by the velocity @xmath35 of the inner cylinder , time @xmath36 by the momentum diffusion time @xmath37 across the gap , and the pressure @xmath38 by @xmath39 with @xmath40 denoting the constant mass density of the fluid .
furthermore we decompose the velocity field @xmath41 into radial ( @xmath42 ) , azimuthal ( @xmath43 ) , and axial ( @xmath44 ) components using cylindrical coordinates @xmath45 .
the basic flow state @xmath46 that is realized in the absolutely stable regime of inner reynolds numbers @xmath47 below the thresholds for onset of taylor and spiral vortex flow is rotationally symmetric , axially homogeneous , and constant in time .
it consists of a linear superposition of circular couette flow ( ccf ) in azimuthal direction , @xmath48 , and of annular poiseuille flow ( apf ) in axial direction , @xmath49 , @xmath50 without any radial component . here
@xmath51 and @xmath52 with @xmath53 let @xmath54 abbreviate the deviation fields from the basic flow state ( [ u_0 ] ) .
then the general solution of the nse linearized in the deviation fields can be written as a superposition of modes of the form @xmath55 with axial wave number @xmath56 and integer azimuthal wave number @xmath4 .
the complex amplitude functions @xmath57\ ] ] depend on the mode indices @xmath58 and the radial coordinate @xmath59 .
the characteristic exponent @xmath60 is in general complex .
it is decomposed here as follows @xmath61 into the growth rate @xmath62 and the characteristic frequency @xmath63 of the @xmath64 mode . substituting the above solution ansatz into the linearized nse yields @xmath65 the solution of this eigenvalue problem yields the characteristic exponent @xmath66 and the associated eigenfunctions @xmath67 as functions of @xmath58 . here
@xmath68 are quantities defining the basic flow state ( [ u_0 ] ) .
the latter enters via the linearized advective term of the nse . in order to rewrite ( [ linear1 ] - [ linear4 ] ) into a system of first - order differential equations which is advantageous for numerical reasons
we introduce three additional complex amplitude functions @xcite @xmath69 using ( [ defx ] ) and the continuity equation ( [ linear4 ] ) one can then eliminate the pressure in eq.([linear2 ] ) by @xmath70 all in all one obtains in this way a system of 6 coupled , first - order differential equations @xmath71 for the six variables @xmath72 with @xmath73 where @xmath74 we have solved the eigenvalue equations ( [ resultew ] ) numerically with a standard shooting method subject to the six boundary conditions , @xmath75 which make the eigenvalue spectrum discrete . to integrate from @xmath13 to @xmath14 we used a fourth - order runge - kutta formula @xcite with two step widths ( @xmath76 and 1/400 , respectively ) for a richardson extrapolation . a newton - raphson method @xcite
was then used to find the roots of the complex determinant of the @xmath77 matrix which ensures the vanishing of @xmath78 at the outer cylinder .
we therefore vary in the newton - raphson procedure only two of the parameters ( @xmath79 ) @xcite that enter into ( [ resultew ] ) while keeping the others fixed . in this way we determine on the one hand the marginal threshold values of @xmath47 and @xmath63 with @xmath80 for which the basic state is marginally stable against the growth of an extended perturbation with given @xmath4 and real axial wave number @xmath12 at specified parameters @xmath81 . on the other hand we calculate for
given @xmath82 the complex eigenvalue @xmath66 over the _
complex _ wave number plane including as special case also the real @xmath12-axis . in each case
we are interested only in the vortex modes with the largest growth rates for which the associated amplitude functions @xmath67 display the least radial variation with the fewest number of nodes .
we present here results for the radius ratio @xmath0 in a range of outer reynolds numbers @xmath83 . in this parameter regime
the vortex perturbations with the largest growth rates have in the absence of through - flow azimuthal wave numbers of either @xmath2 or @xmath10 .
we investigate here linear properties of such vortices with @xmath2 and @xmath10 in a through - flow of reynolds numbers @xmath84 .
here we discuss the spatiotemporal structure , symmetry properties , and bifurcation thresholds for onset of axially extended vortex perturbations with real axial wave number @xmath12 and different azimuthal wave numbers @xmath4 in the absence and presence of an axial through - flow .
structure and dynamics of the vortex modes ( [ ansatz ] ) are dominated by the fact that their phases are constant on any cylindrical surface , @xmath85 , along lines given by the equation @xmath86 here the constant phase coming from the amplitude @xmath67 is suppressed .
thus , on the @xmath87 plane of such an unrolled cylindrical surface these lines of constant phase are straight . for rotationally symmetric taylor vortex like perturbations
the line pattern of constant phases , @xmath88 , is parallel to @xmath89 .
the @xmath4=0 pattern is stationary for @xmath90 . only for finite through - flow it propagates axially with phase velocity @xmath91 that is proportional to @xmath1 .
the main reason for this is that the azimuthal flow of the basic ccf state is precisely parallel to the vortex lines of constant phase while the apf flow being perpendicular to them can advect them .
the latter happens in our axially periodic system that does not exert any phase pinning at the axial boundaries as soon as @xmath92 .
the vortex modes ( [ ansatz ] ) with axial wave number @xmath93 have spiral structure . when @xmath94 is positive ( negative ) the lines of constant phase @xmath95 ( [ z_phase ] ) wind in a left spiral l - spi ( right spiral r - spi ) around the cylindrical surface @xmath85 with negative ( positive ) slope @xmath96 .
the lines of constant phase and with it the whole spiral stucture rotates in @xmath97 rigidly with angular velocity @xmath98 in the absence of an externally imposed through - flow , @xmath1=0 , this rotation proceeds for l - spi and r - spi alike into the same direction as the rotation of the inner cylinder .
the reason is that the spiral perturbations are advected by the inner part of the azimuthal ccf which is relevant for the centrifugal instability leading to vortex generation . a model explaining this effect is presented in @xcite .
there are two immediate consequences of this advective origin of the spiral dynamics induced by the inner cylinder s rotation : ( _ i _ ) with the latter being by definition positive in this work the inner cylinder is taken to rotate in positive @xmath97-direction also @xmath99 is positive for @xmath1=0 .
hence , say , an @xmath8 ( @xmath9 ) spiral has positive ( negative ) frequency for @xmath1=0 .
then a l - spi ( r - spi ) being defined by @xmath100 ( @xmath101 ) propagates for @xmath1=0 upwards ( downwards ) with positive ( negative ) axial phase velocity @xmath102 that is directly related to its _ positive _ angular velocity @xmath103 .
an externally applied axial through - flow changes the axial phase velocities and frequencies of the @xmath2 and @xmath93 vortex modes roughly proportional to @xmath1 , i.e. , @xmath104 simultaneously the rotation rates , @xmath105 , of the spirals are changed accordingly .
thus , in each case the vortex frequencies are largely determined by the basic state s advective properties , i.e. , by the combination of azimuthal advection by @xmath106 and axial advection by @xmath107 .
here we consider symmetry properties of axially extended vortex perturbations of the form ( [ ansatz ] ) with real wave number @xmath12 .
symmetry relations between different vortex fronts with complex wave number @xmath108 are discussed later on in sec .
[ sec.front-symm ] .
table [ tab.mod-symm ] shows the symmetry transformations that leave the eigenvalue problem unchanged .
they reflect ( _ i _ ) that @xmath109 transforms under complex conjugation ( indicated by an overline ) as @xmath110 and ( _ ii _ ) that the nse ( [ navier2 ] ) are invariant under an axial reflection @xmath111 .
thus one infers , for example , that the growth rate ( frequency ) of the characteristic exponent @xmath112 for @xmath113 vortices is an even ( odd ) function of @xmath12 and @xmath1 . for perturbations with
@xmath114 one finds that @xmath115 and that the spatiotemporal structure including the amplitude functions of a l - spiral perturbation ( @xmath116 ) at @xmath92 is the same as that of a r - spiral ( @xmath117 ) at @xmath118 .
note , however , that any finite through - flow breaks the axial mirror symmetry between l- and r - spirals at @xmath90 so that , among others , @xmath119 when @xmath120 . but the symmetry relations are such that it suffices to investigate , say , positive @xmath12 combined together with either ( _ i _ ) @xmath121 only for positive _ and _ negative @xmath1 or , equivalently , ( _ ii _ ) @xmath4 positive _ and _ negative for @xmath122 only in order to get the complete linear information on both spiral vortex types .
figure [ fig.r1c_r2 ] shows the _ critical _ bifurcation thresholds @xmath123 for @xmath2 and @xmath10 vortex patterns with the respective _ critical _ wave numbers , @xmath124 , as functions of @xmath125 in the absence of through - flow .
the vertical lines in fig .
[ fig.r1c_r2 ] mark the two outer reynolds numbers @xmath126 and @xmath127 for which we show in fig .
[ fig.r1c_re ] as representative examples how the critical thresholds evolve with through - flow reynolds number @xmath1 .
the above discussed symmetry relation @xmath128 between the growth rates of r- and l - spirals implies the corresponding relation between the respective bifurcation thresholds ( full and dashed lines in fig .
[ fig.r1c_re ] ) . in the remainder of this paper
we therefore restrict ourselves without loss of information to positive @xmath1 . for small @xmath122 the axial flow
stabilizes the basic state against growth of tvf ( @xmath2 ) and r - spi ( @xmath9 ) perturbations . on the other hand , the bifurcation threshold for l - spi ( @xmath8 ) vortex patterns that propagate into the same direction as the through - flow decreases at small @xmath1 and increases only at larger @xmath1 .
the upwards shift of the @xmath2 threshold with increasing @xmath1 is stronger than the one for @xmath8 .
thus , eventually the latter comes to lie below the former and consequently the growth of l - spirals propagating into the same direction as the through - flow is favored for sufficiently large @xmath1 even when @xmath129 .
dotted lines in fig .
[ fig.epsilon ] show the reduced critical threshold curves @xmath130 ( [ epsilon_c ] ) as functions of @xmath1 for the two representative outer reynolds numbers @xmath129 and @xmath131 .
the other lines in fig .
[ fig.epsilon ] are discussed in sec .
[ sec.local-pertub ] .
our numerical results for @xmath130 that were obtained in steps of @xmath132 were fitted in the range @xmath133 to the following expression @xmath134 the fit parameters @xmath135 are listed for different @xmath125 in tables [ tab.fitpara ] and [ tab.fitpara2 ] for tvf ( @xmath2 ) and l - spi @xmath136 , respectively . the threshold curves for r - spi @xmath137 are obtained according to sec . [ sec.symm-eigenvalue ] from those for l - spi by @xmath138 , i.e. , by changing the sign of the odd coefficients in table [ tab.fitpara2 ] .
so far we have considered axially extended vortex perturbations of the form @xmath139 which are single eigenmodes of the operator @xmath109 ( [ result.operator ] ) . for supercritical control parameters , @xmath140 ,
a finite band of axial wave numbers can grow and with it also axially localized wave packets consisting of superpositions of vortex modes .
let us consider first an infinitesimal initial perturbation with azimuthal wave number @xmath4 that is axially localized , i.e. , a wave packet that consists of a superposition of vortex modes of different @xmath12 but common @xmath4 an initial perturbation containing different @xmath4-modes would be just a sum of the above described vortex packets that would evolve independently of each other as long as the linear description is valid . after fast transients have decayed a pulse like perturbation survives with axial wave numbers within the unstable band centered around the wave number of maximal growth @xmath141 .
since the above described wave packet contains vortex modes that can grow the pulse will grow as well .
simultaneously the pulse center travels axially for small @xmath28 with the critical goup velocity @xmath142 hence when at a bifurcation threshold the frequency is nonzero with a finite group velocity then the supercritical spatiotemporal growth behavior of an axially _ localized _ vortex perturbation differs significantly from an axially _ extended _ vortex mode .
the growth of the latter is axially uniform which is not the case for the former .
furthermore , one has to distinguish between two different supercritical regimes for the former : ( _ i _ ) in the so - called convectively unstable parameter regime of the basic state the vortex packet moves with the velocity @xmath143 faster away than it grows while growing in the frame comoving with @xmath143 the pulse moves out of the system so that the basic state is restored . in other words , the two fronts that join the pulse intensity envelope to the structureless state propagate both in the direction in which the packet center moves . _
( ii ) _ in the so called absolutely unstable parameter regime the growth rate of the packet is so large that one front propagates in the laboratory frame opposite to the center motion .
thus , the packet expands not only into the direction of the pulse motion but also opposite to it so that eventually the initial perturbation can fill the entire system .
but the linear growth analysis of the vortex fields does not determine in what nonlinear final stable state the system will end nor what possible intermediate nonlinear transient behavior might occur .
however , this analysis has an important implication for experiments with through - flow : developed vortex structures can be seen in finite systems with vortex suppressing inlet conditions only in the absolutely unstable regime which is typically realized at larger @xmath144 ( cf . fig .
[ fig.epsilon ] ) if one leaves aside noise - sustained patterns @xcite in the convectively unstable regime . in this latter regime
the vortex front that connects to the zero amplitude inlet condition moves downstream ( we assume that the fronts of our forwards bifurcating vortex structures are linearly selected thus excluding the buildup of nonlinear fronts that might revert their propagation direction ) . in the absolutely unstable regime , on the other hand ,
an upstream motion of this front is stopped by the inlet condition at a characteristic downstream growth length from the inlet .
this growth length of the downstream evolving vortex structure diverges @xcite when approaching the boundary between convective and absolute instability from the latter regime .
it is remarkable that based on the experimental observations of takeuchi and jankowski @xcite such a behavior was discussed already in 1979 [ cf .
figures 4 and 5(a ) and their discussion in sec .
6 of ref .
@xcite ] , albeit without invoking the concept of absolute and convective instability which was introduced to a broader fluid dynamics community only a few years later @xcite .
the boundary between convective and absolute instability of the basic flow against growth of vortices with a particular azimuthal wave number @xmath4 is marked by those parameter combinations for which one of the fronts of the linear packet of @xmath4-vortices reverts its propagation direction in the laboratory frame : in the convectively unstable parameter regime this front propagates in the same direction as the center of the packet , in the absolutely unstable regime it moves opposite to it , and right on the boundary between the two regimes the front is stationary in the laboratory frame .
this parameter combination can be determined by a saddle point analysis of the linear complex dispersion relation @xmath145 over the plane of complex wave numbers @xcite @xmath146 here we do not display the dependence of @xmath147 on the parameters @xmath148 and we also do not indicate that the dispersion relations for vortex perturbations with different azimuthal wave numbers @xmath4 are different .
the boundary condition of no growth for a front that is stationary in the laboratory system is @xmath149 at the appropriate saddle position , @xmath150 , of @xmath145 in the complex wave number plane @xcite .
here @xmath150 follows from @xmath151 for fixed @xmath152 eqs.([wachsbed.],[saddle ] ) yield @xmath153 .
here and in the following the subscript @xmath154 identifies boundaries between convective and absolute instability .
thus , e.g. , the basic flow state is convectively [ absolutely ] unstable against vortex perturbations with azimuthal wave number @xmath4 for @xmath155 [ @xmath156 and absolutely stable when @xmath157 .
we are interested here in the @xmath1 dependence of these thresholds and we will discuss to that end the reduced boundary quantities @xmath158 and @xmath159 because of the symmetries of @xmath145 , of its saddle - point @xmath150 , and of the resulting boundary @xmath160 one has @xmath161 so that it suffices again to investigate only positive through - flow . in order to determine the boundary between convective and absolute instability via the solution of eqs .
( [ wachsbed .
] , [ saddle ] ) one has to evaluate the dispersion relation @xmath145 for complex @xmath108 @xcite .
to that end we solved the eigenvalue problem ( [ resultew ] ) of the full field equations for _ complex _
@xmath108 ( cf .
[ sec.nse1 ] ) .
in addition and for comparison we used for @xmath145 the ginzburg - landau amplitude equation approximation which only requires knowledge of @xmath162 along the real @xmath12-axis . within this approximation the dispersion relation @xmath145 for vortex modes is expanded in @xmath108 and @xmath47 around the critical point @xmath163 @xmath164 the expansion coefficients in the above expressions appear also in the linear parts of the ginzburg - landau amplitude equation @xcite .
they are obtained from the numerical solution of the eigenvalue problem ( [ resultew ] ) of the full field equations for real @xmath12 close to the critical point @xcite
. within the gle approximation one gets from eqs .
( [ wachsbed . ]
, [ saddle ] ) @xmath165 @xmath166 and @xmath167.\ ] ] note that the gle coefficients @xmath168 depend on @xmath169 . for @xmath2 and @xmath129 also the nonlinear coefficients of the gle have been obtained for several @xmath170 as functions of @xmath1 @xcite . to assess the quality of the gle results for the boundary between convective and absolute instability we determined the dispersion relation of the nse not only for real @xmath12 close to the critical point but for complex axial wave numbers @xmath108 that lie in the vicinity of the relevant saddle locations @xmath150 of @xmath145 .
having determined @xmath145 as described in sec .
[ sec.num-proc1 ] we solved the equations ( [ wachsbed.],[saddle ] ) for @xmath153 in the form @xmath171 that follows from using the cauchy - riemann relations for @xmath145 . in fig .
[ fig.sattel ] we show the @xmath1-variation of the real and imaginary parts of the relevant saddle - point @xmath172 at the boundary @xmath153 for two characteristic cases : ( a ) l - spi ( @xmath8 ) at @xmath129 and ( b ) r - spi ( @xmath9 ) at @xmath131 . in each case
full ( dashed ) lines were obtained from the correct nse ( approximate gle ) dispersion relation @xmath145 .
case ( a ) is representative for a situation where the gle approximation reasonably well reproduces the correct result at least for small @xmath1 and starts to deviate significantly only for larger @xmath1 . on the other hand , in case ( b )
the gle approximation to @xmath173 displays a smooth variation with @xmath1 that reflects the smooth variation of the saddle @xmath174 ( [ qstargle ] ) of @xmath175 ( [ ginz - landau - naeherung ] ) while the real part @xmath173 of the saddle location of the correct dispersion relation undergoes a dramatic change around @xmath176 .
the reason is that the surfaces of @xmath177 over the @xmath108-plane for the two largest eigenvalues intersect and change their order along the @xmath62 axis .
thus , the saddle that is relevant for the @xmath154 transition and that has the largest @xmath62 value switches from one eigenvalue surface to another .
similarly the eigenvalue surface might have another saddle and their ordering in @xmath62 changes .
in contrast to that the gle approximation produces only a single eigenvalue tracing out the smooth surface @xmath175 ( [ ginz - landau - naeherung ] ) . to give an impression of such an intersection of the correct dispersion surfaces we show in fig .
[ fig.2ew ] their real parts over the complex @xmath178plane at @xmath179 .
full lines in fig .
[ fig.sattel-schnitte ] show different constant-@xmath12 sections through them in the intersection range . at @xmath179
the saddle has moved already away from the intersection region .
the saddle coordinates ( @xmath180 ) are indicated in figs .
[ fig.sattel ] , [ fig.2ew ] by full dots .
while the saddle locations @xmath174 of the gle approximation @xmath175 ( [ ginz - landau - naeherung ] ) can differ substantially from the saddle @xmath150 of the correct dispersion relation the difference in the boundaries between convective and absolute instability is typically much less pronounced cf , e.g. , the dashed and full curves for @xmath181 in fig .
[ fig.epsilon ] . there
the gle results ( dashed lines ) agree in each case quite well with the correct boundaries ( full lines ) up to , say @xmath182 . however , as a consequence of the typical increase of the reduced boundary @xmath183 with increasing @xmath1 the quality of the gle results for @xmath183 generally deteriorates .
after all the gle is strictly valid only for @xmath184 .
[ fig.epsilon-re=20 ] shows an example ( @xmath185 ) where the gle prediction for the boundary shows even a qualitative different variation with @xmath1 for , say , @xmath186 .
we have observed similar behavior partly at larger @xmath1 also for other combinations of @xmath187 .
tables [ tab.fitpara ] and [ tab.fitpara2 ] contain the coefficients for fitting our results for @xmath188 and @xmath189 in the same way as described in sec .
[ sec.results1 ] . also here
the boundary curves for r - spi @xmath137 are obtained according to sec .
[ sec.symm-eigenvalue ] from those for l - spi @xmath136 by @xmath138 , i.e. , by changing the sign of the odd coefficients in table [ tab.fitpara2 ] .
the vortex fronts that we are investigating here and that appear also as constituents of vortex pulses are perturbations of the basic state where the fields ( locally ) have the form @xmath190 in the laboratory frame .
this form describes long - time spatiotemporal properties of uniquely selected linear fronts @xcite .
axial front velocity @xmath191 , axial growth rate @xmath192 of the front envelope , wave number @xmath173 of the vortex pattern under the front , and its frequency @xmath193 are determined by the saddle behavior of the linear complex dispersion relation @xmath194 of the field equations over the plane of complex axial wave numbers @xmath195 . since superpositions of vortex perturbations with different @xmath4
evolve independently from each other within the linear description as mentioned already in sec .
[ sec.packets ] we consider here only fronts of vortex perturbations that have a common azimuthal wave number @xmath4 and we do not always display the latter explicitly .
the saddle condition is @xcite @xmath196 \big|_{q = q^\ast } = 0 .\ ] ] and the stationarity requirement that the temporal growth rate of the front vanishes in the frame comoving with the front velocity @xmath191 demands that @xmath197 \big|_{q = q^\ast } = \gamma ( q^\ast ) + v^\ast k^\ast .\ ] ] we combine ( [ saddlecondition ] ) and ( [ gammasaddle ] ) into the three equations @xmath198 that we have solved for @xmath199 .
the front envelope of ( [ einhullende ] ) varies axially with @xmath200 .
if @xmath201 , then the perturbation grows at @xmath202 out of the basic state .
we call such a front to be of type @xmath203 and identify the associated front properties by a subscript @xmath203 .
on the other hand , for @xmath204 we have a front of type @xmath205 with an intensity envelope that joins at @xmath206 with the basic state .
so the two subscripts @xmath207 identify the axial variations of the front envelopes .
a pulse - like perturbation of the basic state would consist suffiently away from its center of a @xmath203 front for @xmath208 and of a @xmath205 front for @xmath209 .
correspondingly the eqs .
( [ bedingungen2 ] ) have two different solutions : one of them describes a @xmath205 front and the other one a @xmath203 front .
a schematic plot of the different envelope types can be seen in fig .
[ fig.frontdirect ] .
we identify the vortex pattern that is unfolded under a front either by its azimuthal wave number @xmath4 or by the superscripts t , l , r. here t refers to a tvf - like pattern of vortices with @xmath2 , l denotes l - spiral vortices with @xmath8 , and r identifies r - spiral vortices with @xmath9 .
hence @xmath4 or equivalently the superscripts identify the spatiotemporal structure of the vortex pattern growing under the front . in this work we restrict ourselves to these three vortex varieties .
since they appear under the above described two front envelopes there are six different fronts that we have investigated here . in fig .
[ fig.fronten ] the results of our investigations are shown for fronts with azimuthal wave numbers @xmath4 = 0 , 1 , and -1 for axial through - flow reynolds numbers @xmath1 = 0 , 10 , and 20 . in each case the outer cylinder is at rest , @xmath129 .
the front properties are presented as functions of @xmath27 . within each 2@xmath2102 block of figures ( a)-(i )
the left column shows real part @xmath173 and negative imaginary part @xmath192 of the saddle point and the right column shows the front velocity @xmath191 and the frequency @xmath193 , respectively .
they all start at @xmath211 since vortex growth is possible only above the critical threshold , i.e. , for @xmath212 .
the two _ critical _ fronts at this threshold are degenerate ( @xmath213 ) with vanishing axial growth rates @xmath214 . for @xmath215
, however , @xmath203 and @xmath205 fronts differ from each other thus reflecting differences in the respective saddle points .
the variation of @xmath216 , and @xmath193 with @xmath27 and @xmath1 is best understood by comparison with the corresponding gle approximation ( cf .
[ sec.gla2 ] ) and by invoking symmetry relations ( cf .
[ sec.front-symm ] ) .
we therefore continue the discussion of our results in the following two sections [ sec.gla2 ] and [ sec.front-symm ] .
the saddle point analysis ( [ saddlecondition ] - [ bedingungen2 ] ) of the gle approximation ( [ ginz - landau - naeherung ] ) yield the following front properties @xmath217 for the two fronts with @xmath218 and @xmath219 , respectively .
_ all _ quantities appearing in ( [ k - gle ] - [ omega - gle ] ) depend on whether they refer to t ( @xmath4 = 0 ) , l ( @xmath4 = 1 ) , or r ( @xmath4 = -1 ) vortex fronts .
these gle results are shown in fig .
[ fig.fronten ] by dashed lines .
they reasonably well describe the small-@xmath27 behavior of the correct front properties ( full lines in fig .
[ fig.fronten ] ) which were obtained from the correct dispersion relation of the nse : as predicted by the small-@xmath27 gle approximation ( [ k - gle ] - [ omega - gle ] ) one finds that for small @xmath27 the axial growth rates @xmath192 vary @xmath220 , that consequently also @xmath221 and @xmath222 vary @xmath220 , and that @xmath223 can have in addition also a contribution @xmath224 when @xmath225 .
the latter is the case for @xmath10 irrespective of @xmath1 and for @xmath2 if @xmath226 .
note that for tvf fronts with @xmath227 the gle predicts @xmath228 whereas the correct dispersion in fig .
[ fig.fronten](a ) seems to show for small @xmath27 a variation of @xmath229 that is beyond the range of applicability of the gle .
thus , under the linear part of a moving tvf front there should be a non zero phase propagation in the laboratory frame with phase velocity @xmath230 .
the analogous behavior was found also for convection rolls in the rayleigh - bnard system @xcite . at the boundary between convective and absolute instability , @xmath231 ,
the velocity @xmath232 and the temporal growth rate @xmath233 of the @xmath203 front vanish in the laboratory frame while @xmath234 is positive there ( and given by 2 @xmath235 within the gle approximation ) .
note that according to fig .
[ fig.epsilon ] and tables [ tab.fitpara ] and [ tab.fitpara2 ] @xmath183 is zero for @xmath236 and very small for @xmath237 . only for large enough through - flow
@xmath183 becomes sizeable . in the convectively unstable regime @xmath238
both , the @xmath203 front as well as the @xmath205 front of a vortex pulse move into the same downstream direction as the through - flow , @xmath239 . in the absolutely unstable regime @xmath240 , however , the @xmath203 front moves upstream and the @xmath205front moves downstream , @xmath241 . in ref .
@xcite it was remarked that the phase velocity of spiral patterns in axial flow through a system of radius ratio @xmath242 @xcite deviates from the critical one , @xmath243 , of axially extended vortex perturbations . while we have done only calculations for @xmath0 our results of fig .
[ fig.fronten ] and of the small-@xmath27 gle approximation ( [ k - gle ] - [ omega - gle ] ) shed some light on the existence of such deviations .
since the experimental vortex structures grow in downstream direction under intensity fronts one strictly speaking would have to compare with the phase velocity under such fronts that connect in the absolutely unstable regime to the fully developed downstream vortex pattern .
such a nonlinear analysis has been done for @xmath2 patterns @xcite but not for spirals . however , already the phase velocities @xmath244 under our linear @xmath203 fronts that grow in downstream direction differ from the corresponding critical phase velocities @xmath245 of axially extended patterns cf .
[ fig.fronten ] and eqs .
( [ k - gle ] - [ omega - gle ] ) .
the front properties shown in fig
. [ fig.fronten ] are largely influenced by the symmetry properties of the system _ without _ through - flow although a finite @xmath1 changes them .
invariance of the field equations under @xmath246 for @xmath90 implies that stationary perturbations with @xmath247 ( tvf ) under a @xmath203 front are mirror images of those under a @xmath205 front .
this implies for @xmath90 the symmetry relations @xmath248 these symmetry properties of the two front types of t - perturbations can be seen in fig .
[ fig.fronten](a ) .
now consider l and r perturbations . here
the invariance of the field equations under @xmath246 for @xmath90 implies first of all that a spatially extended l - spi with uniform amplitude is the mirror image of a spatially extended r - spi .
furthermore , a l - spi under a @xmath203 front with positive @xmath249 is symmetry degenerate with a r - spi under a @xmath205 front with negative @xmath249 .
similarly a r - spi under a @xmath203 type front is the mirror image of a l - spi under a @xmath205 front .
this implies for @xmath90 the symmetry relations @xmath250 @xmath251 they can be seen to be realized in fig .
[ fig.fronten](b ) and fig .
[ fig.fronten](c ) .
the gle approximation ( [ k - gle ] ) - ( [ omega - gle ] ) shows beyond the relations ( [ symmet1])-([symmet3 ] ) the following additional relations @xmath252 @xmath253 @xmath254 that follow from the fact , that @xmath255 , @xmath256 , @xmath257 , @xmath258 , @xmath259 , @xmath260 , and @xmath261 for @xmath90 @xcite .
we have determined the influence of an axial through - flow on the spatiotemporal growth behavior of structurally different vortex perturbations of the basic couette - poiseuille flow in the taylor - couette system with radius ratio @xmath0 . to that end
we have solved the linearized nse numerically with a shooting method for vortex perturbations with azmuthal wave numbers @xmath2 ( tvf ) , @xmath8 ( l - spi ) , and @xmath9 ( r - spi ) in a wide range of the parameters @xmath262 , and @xmath125 . here
symmetry properties allowed us to restrict ourselves to positive through - flow reynolds numbers @xmath1 . for each of the three different vortex varieties we have investigated ( _ i _ ) axially extended vortex structures with homogeneous amplitudes , ( _ ii _ ) axially localized vortex pulses consisting of a linear superposition of axially extended vortex modes with different real axial wave numbers @xmath12 , and ( _ iii _ ) vortex fronts .
central to our analysis is the determination of the complex dispersion relations @xmath145 of the linearized nse for vortex modes with the three different @xmath4 .
we have evaluated @xmath66 over the plane of complex wave numbers @xmath263 for patterns ( _ ii _ , _ iii _ ) and along the real @xmath12-axis for pattern ( _ i _ ) .
we have also determined the ginzburg - landau amplitude equation approximation @xmath175 in order to analyze its predictions for the vortex stuctures ( _ ii _ , _ iii _ ) in comparison with the correct nse dispersion relation @xmath145 . in each case
symmetry relations are elucidated .
first we have evaluated the critical bifurcation thresholds @xmath264 for axially extended vortex structures . then using a saddle - point analysis of @xmath145
we have determined the boundaries @xmath265 between absolute and convective instability of the basic state at which one of the fronts of the expanding vortex pulses reverts its propagation direction in the laboratory frame .
here we have elucidated also in some detail how the different saddle topologies of @xmath145 and of @xmath175 explain some of the shortcomings of the latter .
fit parameters for power - law expansions of the reduced boundaries @xmath266 , and @xmath267 up to @xmath5 are listed in two tables .
finally we have determined the linearly selected front behavior of growing vortex patterns with @xmath6 for @xmath129 under two different types of front intensity envelopes : type @xmath203 shows growth in positive z - direction while type @xmath205 locates growth in negative z - direction .
the combination of the three different dynamics of the constituent vortex modes ( @xmath6 ) and of the two different spatial intensity profiles ( @xmath203 , @xmath205 ) leads to six different fronts @xmath268 in the laboratory frame .
their velocity @xmath191 , spatial growth rate @xmath192 , wave number @xmath173 , and frequency @xmath193 as determined via a saddle point analysis of the respective dispersion relations differ in general from each other in the presence of a through - flow . 999 for a review see refs
. @xcite .
r. c. diprima and h. l. swinney , in _ hydrodynamic instabilities and transition to turbulence _ , edited by h. l. swinney and j. p. gollub ( springer , berlin , 1981 ) , p. 139 .
r. j. donnelly , physics today * 44 * , 332 ( 1991 ) .
r. tagg , nonlinear science today * 4 * , 1 ( 1994 ) . m. c. cross and p. c. hohenberg , rev . mod . phys . * 65 * , 851 ( 1993 ) .
p. chossat and g. ioos , _ the couette - taylor problem _
( springer , berlin , 1994 ) . m. golubitsky , i. stewart , d. g. schaeffer , and w. f. langford , _ case study 6 : the taylor - couette system _ , in _ singularities and groups in bifurcation theory _ , vol .
2 ( springer , new york , 1988 ) , p. 485 .
r. c. diprima and a. pridor , proc .
r. soc .
london ser .
a * 366 * , 555 ( 1979 ) .
d. i. takeuchi and d. f. jankowski , j. fluid .
mech . * 102 * , 101 ( 1981 ) . b. s. ng and e. r. turner , proc .
a * 382 * , 83 ( 1982 ) .
w. f. langford , r. tagg , e. kostelich , h. swinney , and m. golubitsky , phys .
fluids * 31 * , 776 ( 1988 ) . th .
gebhardt and s. grossmann , z. phys .
* b 90 * , 475 ( 1993 ) .
a. meseguer and f. marques , j. fluid mech . * 455 * , 129 ( 2002 ) . in the literature
one uses also @xmath269 as control parameter where the inner cylinder s taylor number @xmath270 is proportional to @xmath271 .
thus , @xmath272
. j. stoer and r. bulirsch , _ einfhrung in die numerische mathematik ii _ ( springer verlag , berlin , 1972 ) .
w. press , s. teukolsky , w. vetterling , and b. flannery , _ numerical recipes _
( cambridge university press , cambridge , 1992 ) . c. hoffmann and m. lcke , manuscript in preparation .
r. j. briggs , _ electron - stream interaction with plasmas _ , research monograph no .
29 ( m.i.t . press , cambridge mass , 1964 ) ; a. bers , _ linear waves and instabilities _ ( physique des plasmas , new york , 1975 ) .
p. huerre , in _ instabilities and nonequilibrium structures _ , edited by e. tirapegui and d. villaroel ( reidel , dordrecht , 1987 ) , p. 141 ; p. huerre and p. a. monkewitz , annu .
fluid mech . * 22 * , 473 ( 1990 ) .
r. j. deissler , j. stat .
phys . * 40 * , 371 ( 1985 ) .
k. l. babcock , g. ahlers , and d. s. cannell , phys .
e * 50 * , 3670 ( 1994 ) .
h. w. mller , m. lcke , m. kamps , europhys .
* 10 * , 451 ( 1989 ) ; p. bchel , m. lcke , d. roth , r. schmitz , phys .
e * 53 * , 4764 ( 1996 ) .
r. tagg , w. s. edwards , and h. l. swinney , phys .
a * 42 * , 831 ( 1990 ) .
a. recktenwald , m. lcke , and h. w. mller , phys .
e * 48 * , 4444 ( 1993 ) .
a. pinter , diploma thesis , universitt des saarlandes , saarbrcken , 2001 .
p. bchel and m. lcke , phys .
e * 63 * , 016307 ( 2000 ) .
h. a. snyder , proc .
r. soc . lond .
a * 285 * , 198 ( 1962 ) . for @xmath2 and @xmath10 vortex patterns with the respective critical wave numbers , @xmath273 , as functions of @xmath125 in the absence of axial through - flow .
the vertical lines mark the two representative outer reynolds numbers @xmath126 and @xmath127 that are investigated in more detail in this work .
the radius ratio is @xmath0 .
[ fig.r1c_r2],width=377 ] for @xmath2 and @xmath10 vortex patterns with through - flow reynolds number @xmath1 .
the two outer reynolds numbers @xmath126 and @xmath127 are marked in fig .
[ fig.r1c_r2 ] .
the radius ratio is @xmath0 .
[ fig.r1c_re],width=377 ] .
dotted lines show the reduced critical bifurcation thresholds @xmath274 ( [ epsilon_c ] ) for axially extended vortex patterns .
the full ( dashed ) boundary lines , @xmath181 , between the convectively and absolutely unstable parameter regions for vortex growth were obtained from the eigenvalues of the full nse ( the gle approximation ) cf .
[ sec.local-pertub ] .
the radius ratio is @xmath0 .
[ fig.epsilon],width=340 ] and @xmath192 of the saddle point that determines the boundary , @xmath153 , between convective and absolute instability with through - flow reynolds number @xmath1 .
full ( dotted ) lines are evaluated with the correct nse ( approximate gle ) dispersion relation .
filled circles in ( b ) at @xmath275 mark the coordinates of the saddle in fig .
[ fig.2ew ] .
the radius ratio is @xmath0 .
[ fig.sattel],width=377 ] of the two biggest eigenvalues of the nse over the complex @xmath178plane for @xmath9 , @xmath131 , @xmath275 , @xmath276 , @xmath0 .
the filled circle marks the saddle at @xmath277 that determines the boundary beteen convective and absolute instability .
[ fig.2ew],width=377 ] ( fig .
[ fig.2ew ] ) for the two biggest eigenvalues of the nse at constant values of @xmath12 in the vicinity of the intersection of the surfaces . dashed lines show @xmath278 obtained from the gle approximation to the dispersion relation .
parameters are @xmath9 , @xmath131 , @xmath275 , @xmath276 , @xmath0 .
[ fig.sattel-schnitte],width=377 ] for @xmath8 , @xmath131 .
the full ( dashed ) boundary lines , @xmath181 , between the convectively and absolutely unstable parameter regions for vortex growth were obtained from the eigenvalues of the full nse ( the gle approximation ) cf .
[ sec.local-pertub ] .
dotted lines show the reduced critical bifurcation thresholds @xmath274 ( [ epsilon_c ] ) for axially extended vortex patterns .
the radius ratio is @xmath0 .
[ fig.epsilon-re=20],width=377 ] type and of @xmath205 type fronts connecting to the basic state at @xmath208 and at @xmath209 , respectively .
this line convention thick ones for @xmath203 type fronts and thin ones for @xmath205 type fronts is used also in fig .
[ fig.fronten ] .
dashed lines indicate the vortex field growing under the front .
[ fig.frontdirect],width=377 ] in systems with and without through - flow @xmath1 for @xmath125 = 0 , @xmath0 as functions of @xmath279 . within each 2@xmath2102 block of figures ( a)-(i )
the left column shows the axial wave number @xmath173 and the axial growth rate @xmath192 .
the right column shows the front velocity @xmath191 and the frequency @xmath193 in the laboratory frame .
thick lines correspond to @xmath203 fronts , thin lines to @xmath205 fronts , respectively .
full ( dashed ) lines result from the saddle point analysis of the dispersion relation of the nse ( gle approximation ) .
[ fig.fronten],width=491 ] .transformation behavior of the eigenvalues and eigenfunctions of the eigenvalue problem ( [ resultew ] - [ definel ] ) under symmetry operations . here
a denotes the identity , b complex conjugation , c axial reflection , and d complex conjugation ( indicated by an overbar ) combined with axial reflection .
[ tab.mod-symm ] [ cols="^,^,^,^,^ " , ] @xmath280&-150&-125&-100&-75&-50&-25&0&25&50 + + @xmath281&0.590&0.795&1.089&1.502&2.083&3.115&3.679&2.447&1.307 + @xmath282&5.181&3.966&1.151&-2.804&-3.385&-15.62&-34.97&-14.55&-0.958 + + @xmath283&1.181&1.451&1.854&2.516&3.906&5.588&6.238&4.338&2.483 + @xmath284&0.116&0.139&0.182&0.293&-2.583&-4.642&-5.716&-3.682&-1.740 + + @xmath283&1.161&1.416&1.800&2.517&4.068&6.547&7.732&5.152&2.762 + @xmath284&-0.164&-0.268&-0.481&-1.011&-2.106&-3.807&-4.900&-3.022&-1.425 + @xmath280&-150&-125&-100&-75&-50&-25&0&25&50 + + @xmath285&-1.582&-2.365&-3.513&-4.887&-6.143&-5.833&-3.372&-1.402&-0.514 + @xmath281&0.957&1.199&1.496&1.925&2.520&3.174&3.197&1.806&0.581 + @xmath286&-9.181&-9.001&-8.485&-7.678&-6.741&-4.172&-3.832&-3.572&-3.685 + @xmath282&1.018&-0.378&-0.180&-0.563&-3.673&-21.77&-36.15&-5.707&19.92 + + @xmath287&2.358&5.497&3.775&-1.237&4.095&12.25&18.96&10.09&2.610 + @xmath285&-3.268&-3.578&-3.048&-0.449&0.926&1.159&1.012&1.217&1.455 + @xmath283&1.532&1.964&2.618&3.539&4.351&5.535&6.036&4.357&2.603 + @xmath288&8.408&11.87&14.97&9.992&6.487&4.919&3.680&1.367&-0.143 + @xmath284&-0.169&-0.368&-0.815&-1.977&-2.809&-4.068&-4.827&-3.203&-1.549 + + @xmath287&1.101&-2.541&1.405&2.529&3.458&3.998&3.641&1.320&0.062 + @xmath285&-4.117&0.755&-1.044&-0.318&0.831&2.063&1.495&1.377&1.625 + @xmath283&2.030&2.792&2.820&3.435&4.437&6.166&7.265&4.981&2.723 + @xmath288&-8.845&-30.34&-7.121&4.780&10.58&8.229&-8.191&-12.58&-10.03 + @xmath284&-0.822&-2.713&-1.136&-1.004&-1.674&-2.923&-3.799&-2.234&-0.854 + | arxiv |
space astrometry missions such as gaia and jasmine are expected to reach a few micro arcseconds @xcite .
moreover , high - accuracy vlbi is also available . for visual binaries , formulations for orbit determinations
have been well developed since the nineteenth century @xcite . at present , numerical methods
are successfully used @xcite .
furthermore , an analytic solution for an astrometric binary , where one object can be observed and the other such as black holes and neutron stars is unseen , has been found @xcite .
the solution requires that sufficiently accurate measurements of the position of a star ( or the photo - center of a binary ) are done more than four times for one orbital period of the binary system . for a close binary system with a short orbital period
, we have a relatively large uncertainty in the position determination .
for instance , the orbital period of cyg - x1 is nearly 6 days , which are extremely shorter than that of normal binary stars , say a few months and several years . because of such an extreme condition
, it is interesting to seek another method in addition to the standard one .
moreover , stars with planets also are another interesting target . what can we do for orbit determination from position measurements with low signal - to - noise ( sn ) ratio ?
it is expected that the position of the object is measured many times .
the dense region of the observed points is corresponding to the neighborhood of the apastron of the kepler orbit , because the motion of the source star is slower according to the kepler s second law . on the other hand ,
a region of fewer points is including the periastron , around which the source star moves faster .
therefore , a statistical analysis including the variance of the measured positions and their correlation will bring the information about the orbital elements of the binary system .
gedanken experiments suggest that the second moments are useful for exploring the shape of the orbit but they are not sufficient for the full orbit determination . at least the third moments seem to be needed .
[ moment-1 ] and [ moment-2 ] .
therefore , the main purpose of this paper is to propose a method for orbit determination of an astrometric binary with low sn ratio by using the second and third moments .
we shall provide also an exact solution for the coupled equations . as a result
, the orbital elements of the binary are written in terms of the second and third moments .
this paper is organized as follows .
we present a formulation and the solution in @xmath0 2 . in @xmath0 3 ,
numerical tests are also done to see how reliable the analytic result is for practical cases taking account of observational noises .
@xmath0 4 is devoted to conclusion . throughout this paper ,
the spatial coordinates are the angular positions normalized by the distance to the celestial object .
before projecting onto the celestial sphere , we consider a kepler orbit , where the semimajor axis and semiminor one are denoted as @xmath1 and @xmath2 .
we choose the @xmath3 coordinates on the orbital plane such that the @xmath4-axis is along the semimajor axis of the elliptic orbit , the @xmath5-axis is along the semiminor one and the origin of the coordinates is chosen as the center of the ellipse .
the orbit is expressed as @xmath6 where @xmath7 denotes the eccentric anomaly . by introducing the eccentricity @xmath8 , the semiminor axis becomes @xmath9 for an object in the kepler motion ,
the time @xmath10 is related with the position @xmath7 through the so - called kepler equation @xmath11 where @xmath12 denotes the time of periastron passage .
this equation represents transcendental equations in the sense that it can not be solved analytically without any approximation . in other words ,
@xmath7 can not be expressed by using elementary functions of @xmath10 .
this makes the inverse problem in astrometry difficult .
we assume a plane perpendicular to the line of sight , where this plane is safely considered a small part of the celestial sphere because the angular position shift of extra - solar objects is sufficiently small . a reference frame , which is used in astrometric observations , is described by the @xmath13 coordinates . as usual
, the @xmath3 coordinates on the orbital plane and the @xmath13 coordinates on the reference plane are related through @xmath14 where @xmath15 , @xmath16 , @xmath17 , @xmath18 , @xmath19 , @xmath20 are defined as @xmath21 here , @xmath22 , @xmath23 and @xmath24 denote the longitude of ascending node , the argument of periastron and the inclination angle , respectively .
[ config ] . the ascending node and the descending one can not be distinguished by astrometric observations alone .
therefore , both of @xmath25 for @xmath24 are possible . furthermore , this paper focuses on the moments , so that the clockwise and anti - clockwise motions can not be distinguished .
two pairs of @xmath26 are possible .
nevertheless , the shape of the orbit is uniquely determined as shown below .
let us assume frequent observations of the angular position .
namely , we consider a large number of observed points .
for such a case , the statistical average expressed as a summation is taken as the temporal average in an integral form as @xmath27 where @xmath28 denotes the mean and @xmath29 denotes the total time duration of the observations . in this paper , we focus on the periodic motion , so that the above expression becomes the integration over one orbital period .
we thus obtain @xmath30 where we used eq .
( [ kepler ] ) and @xmath31 .
let us consider statistical moments .
figure [ moment-1 ] suggests that the moments @xmath32 and @xmath33 are useful for distinguishing two different orbits .
next , we consider the periastron for the orbit denoted by the closed solid curve . for simplicity
, we assume that it is located at positive @xmath34 ( in the right hand side of the ellipse ) . for this case , the object moves faster around the periastron and slower around the apastron .
hence , the dots in the figure schematically show asymmetry in the number of observed points . in order to distinguish such an asymmetry , the third moment such as
@xmath35 seems useful because of the odd parity .
figure [ moment-2 ] suggests that @xmath36 is needed via a gedanken experiment .
the second moments are defined as @xmath37 the third moments are defined as @xmath38 the moments @xmath39 are actually observables .
the vanishing of all the third moments leads to @xmath40 . in the following ,
let us consider @xmath41 cases . in the above second and third moments , the specific combinations among @xmath17 , @xmath18 , @xmath19 , @xmath20 frequently appear .
therefore , it is convenient to define new variables as @xmath42 by using the moments expressed by eqs .
( [ mxx])-([mxy ] ) , the variables @xmath43 , @xmath44 , @xmath45 are rewritten as @xmath46 eq . ( [ i ] ) is substituted into eq .
( [ mxxx ] ) to obtain a cubic equation for @xmath47 as @xmath48 this cubic equation gives three roots as @xmath47 by using cardano s formula . for saving the space , we do not write down the formula . in the similar manner ,
we obtain from eqs .
( [ ii ] ) and ( [ myyy ] ) @xmath49 this provides @xmath50 , where its multiplicity is three . at this point , we know both @xmath47 and @xmath50 , which can be substituted into eqs .
( [ i])-([iii ] ) .
we thus obtain the value of the variables @xmath43 , @xmath44 and @xmath45 . in general
, we get multi values for @xmath47 and @xmath50 . however , they are true solutions for eqs .
( [ ekalpha ] ) and ( [ ekgamma ] ) , whereas not all of them satisfy the observed third moments .
they have to satisfy the remaining set of the third moments as @xmath51 which can be used to pick up the correct @xmath47 and @xmath50 from multiple candidate values . the definition of @xmath43 by eq .
( [ i - def ] ) is rewritten as @xmath52 which tells us @xmath17 as a function of @xmath18 @xmath53 it is obvious that the sign of the right hand side of eq .
( [ alphapm ] ) must be the same as that of the left hand side , namely @xmath17 . for @xmath41 ,
the sign of @xmath17 is the same as that of @xmath47 that has been obtained above .
this is expressed by @xmath54 where @xmath55 denotes the sign .
therefore , the sign of the right hand side of eq .
( [ alphapm ] ) is obtained uniquely as @xmath56 .
( [ alphapm ] ) thus becomes @xmath57 what is the difference between eqs .
( [ alphapm ] ) and ( [ alphapm2 ] ) ?
( [ alphapm ] ) means two different equations because of @xmath25 in the right hand side , whereas eq .
( [ alphapm2 ] ) is a _ single _ one . for the later convenience ,
we define @xmath58 as @xmath59 which is obtained from known quantities @xmath47 and @xmath50 as @xmath60 .
we substitute eq .
( [ gamma ] ) into the definition of @xmath45 by eq .
( [ iii - def ] ) in order to delete @xmath19 .
we obtain @xmath61 this is substituted into the definition of @xmath43 by eq .
( [ i - def ] ) .
we obtain @xmath62 this is a function of only @xmath18 .
( [ gamma ] ) and ( [ delta - fn ] ) are substituted into @xmath19 and @xmath20 in eq .
( [ ii - def ] ) .
after rather lengthy calculations , we get @xmath63 where we used eq . ( [ i - def ] ) for @xmath64
interestingly , the right hand side of this equation consists of only the known quantities @xmath43 , @xmath44
, @xmath45 and @xmath58 . therefore , we obtain the value of @xmath65 , which determines @xmath17 through eq .
( [ alphapm2 ] ) .
( [ beta^2 ] ) is solved for @xmath18 as @xmath66 unfortunately , we do not know @xmath67 contrary to @xmath47 .
therefore , the sign of the right hand side of eq .
( [ beta - sol ] ) is not uniquely determined .
the multiplicity of @xmath18 is two and hence that of @xmath20 is also two according to eq .
( [ delta - fn ] ) . up to this point , we know the value of @xmath17 and @xmath47 from observed quantities .
we thus find separately @xmath8 as @xmath68 .
it is crucial in the following procedure that the eccentricity @xmath8 is determined at this step .
it is very inconvenient that @xmath18 and @xmath20 are proportional to the semiminor axis @xmath2 in their definition .
we know @xmath8 , so that @xmath2 can be expressed by @xmath1 .
hence , we define renormalized quantities as @xmath69 where we used eqs . ( [ beta ] ) and ( [ delta ] ) . we know
the values of @xmath18 , @xmath20 and @xmath8 .
therefore , one can estimate @xmath70 and @xmath71 .
one can construct from four variables @xmath17 , @xmath70 , @xmath19 , @xmath71 , some quantities that are dependent on the inclination angle @xmath24 but not on any other angles @xmath23 nor @xmath22 .
one example is @xmath72 another is @xmath73 these relations can be verified by direct calculations .
note that @xmath74 must be positive because @xmath75 .
this positivity chooses one pair of @xmath76 and reject the other pair .
only the pair of @xmath77 is thus obtained . we know
@xmath17 , @xmath19 , @xmath70 , @xmath71 , so that @xmath78 and @xmath74 can be estimated . by deleting @xmath79 from eqs .
( [ c ] ) and ( [ d ] ) , we obtain @xmath80 this is a quadratic equation for @xmath81
. apparently , two cases of @xmath81 are possible . however , this is not the case . by using newton s identities for eq .
( [ cos2i ] ) , we obtain the identity as @xmath82 where @xmath83 and @xmath84 denote the two roots for eq .
( [ cos2i ] ) .
the inequality as @xmath85 thus leads to the unique value of @xmath81 , because the other exceeds the unity as its absolute value .
the single value of @xmath81 provides positive @xmath24 and negative one .
they are corresponding to the ascending node and the descending node , respectively .
they can not be distinguished by astrometric observations alone . in order to distinguish them ,
radial velocity measurements for instance are needed .
we get the value of the inclination angle . from eq .
( [ d ] ) , therefore , the semimajor axis is obtained as @xmath86 this suggests that the value of @xmath1 is uniquely determined but not doubly . in order to determine @xmath23 and @xmath22 ,
let us consider other combinations among @xmath17 , @xmath19 , @xmath70 , @xmath71 .
direct calculations lead to @xmath87 the ratio of them is denoted as @xmath88 this is solved for @xmath22 as @xmath89 which gives the values of @xmath22 because we have already determined @xmath24 and @xmath90 . as mentioned already , both of @xmath91 are allowed .
next , we consider different combinations as @xmath92 which can be verified by direct calculations . the ratio of them is denoted as @xmath93 this is solved for @xmath23 as @xmath94 which tells us the values of @xmath23 because we have already determined @xmath24 and @xmath95 . as mentioned already , both of @xmath96 are possible . at most four values of @xmath22 are possible .
similarly , the maximum multiplicity of @xmath23 is four . in total
, sixteen sets of @xmath97 appear to exist .
the multiplicity of @xmath97 is reduced , because they must satisfy the definition of @xmath17 , @xmath18 , @xmath19 , @xmath20 with the uniquely determined @xmath1 , @xmath8 and @xmath81 .
in particular , @xmath17 , @xmath18 , @xmath19 , @xmath20 include different combinations of @xmath98 and @xmath99 . basically , the sign of @xmath98 and @xmath99 has four types @xmath100 , @xmath101 , @xmath102 , @xmath103 .
hence , the apparent multiplicity sixteen is divided by four .
in addition , it is obvious from eqs .
( [ alpha])-([delta ] ) that the sign of @xmath22 depends on that of @xmath23 .
the multiplicity is thus divided also by two . as a consequence ,
we get only the two pairs of @xmath26 .
one pair is corresponding to the clockwise motion and the other to the anti - clockwise one .
the above formalism is discussed in an idealized world .
numerical tests are done below to see whether the analytic result works for practical cases .
first , eqs .
( [ average1 ] ) and ( [ average2 ] ) assume that one can integrate observed quantities . in practice , however , observations are discrete , for which the integration becomes a summation .
the integration and the summation could agree in the limit that the number of observations @xmath104 approaches the infinity . in a real world
, @xmath104 is a large number but much smaller than the infinity .
does the above formalism still give a reliable answer ?
for investigating this point , we perform numerical simulations . according to the simulation for observations with equal time interval ,
the above formalism recovers perfectly the orbital parameters for @xmath105 .
next , we consider observation noises .
the above formalism assumes that the observed points are located on an apparent ellipse . however , position measurements are inevitably associated with observational errors . therefore , we perform numerical simulations by adding gaussian errors into the position measurements as @xmath106 and @xmath107 , where @xmath108 and @xmath109 obey gaussian distributions with the standard deviation @xmath110 .
we consider two cases : @xmath111 ( smaller case ) and @xmath112 ( larger one ) in the units of @xmath113 .
table @xmath114 is a list of the orbital parameters that are recovered by using the above formalism .
@xmath115 for simulated points in a @xmath116 simulation for @xmath111 and @xmath112 . for small observation error cases , the orbital parameters are well recovered . for large observation errors comparable to a half of the semimajor axis ,
however , the recovered angles @xmath24 , @xmath23 and @xmath22 are far from the true ones . on the other hand , the eccentricity @xmath8 and the semimajor axis @xmath1
are recovered better than the angles .
the semimajor axis is overestimated , because the simulated second moments apparently become larger than the true ones owing to such a large dispersion .
we numerically study also different parameter values .
they lead to similar results , for which numerical tables are omitted for saving the space .
our numerical tests for the discreteness of observations and for the observation noises suggest that the above formalism derived for the idealized system could work in practice if observation noises are not so large .
the previous analytical method can not guess orbit parameters for such large measurement errors @xmath117 , mostly because @xmath81 apparently becomes larger than the unity ( namely , the data points fit better with open orbits ) @xcite . up to this point
, we have assumed that the orbital period is known .
what happens for unknown binaries ?
we have made fourier analyses for numerically simulated points with time in fig .
[ points ] . in the time domain ,
the fourier spectrum has two peaks .
one peak corresponds to the orbital period and the other is around the artificial time step in the numerical simulations .
this suggests that the moment approach can be applied also to unknown binary systems , if a fourier analysis is adequately used to know the orbital period .
namely , the present method could be used to search new binary systems .
let us consider cyg - x1 , @xmath118 au at @xmath119 kpc from us .
the expected angular accuracy in jasmine is @xmath120 microarcsec , so that the semimajor axis of cyg - x1 can become a direct observable .
other known x - ray binaries seem too faint to be observed by jasmine . a sun - like star at 20 pc with jupiter - like planet at 1
au could produce a wobble of 0.001 au , corresponding to 50 microarcsec .
, which must be an interesting target . in the main part of this paper , we ignore the proper motion of the binary system in our galaxy .
this is mostly because , for a close binary , the proper motion of the binary in our galaxy causes a larger cumulative displacement than the orbital motion of the component stars , though the orbital velocity may be larger than the proper motion . in advance , therefore , we know the proper motion before determining the orbital elements . for instance , it can be done by a comparison between the hipparcos data and the future space astrometry .
if one wishes to determine the proper motion @xmath121 in the present formalism , however , the apparent positions should be replaced as @xmath122 and @xmath123 . by averaging the observed position according to eq .
( [ average1 ] ) , we obtain @xmath124 where the terms of @xmath125 in the right hand side come from the kepler motion .
hence the terms are nothing but a decaying term such as @xmath126 for the eccentric anomaly @xmath127 corresponding to @xmath128 .
they become negligible as @xmath129 .
furthermore , the cumulative translation by the proper motion exceeds the oscillatory displacement by the kepler motion for a close binary .
that is , @xmath130 , where @xmath131 . owing to this effect ,
the decaying part due to the kepler motion goes away for a long observation period @xmath29 , say @xmath132 yr .
the parts growing linearly in the observation time @xmath29 give the information about @xmath121 , provided @xmath29 is taken as a variable in the data analysis .
if @xmath133 , the above extraction of the linearly growing part will be possible , especially for a short - separation binary .
finally , we mention a mildly relativistic compact binary , in which the relativistic advance of the periastron occurs . rigorously speaking
, we have to take account of the general relativistic equations . in practice
, however , the above method may be applied .
for instance , let us imagine two - year observations .
for the first - year data , the periastron direction @xmath134 is derived .
the second - year data tells @xmath135 .
the difference between the first - year and second - year directions of the periastron suggests the periastron advance as @xmath136 .
for instance , the hulse - taylor binary pulsar shows the large periastron shift rate @xmath137 deg . per year , though the angular orbital radius is a few microarcsec .
and it is beyond the current measurement capability .
this paper proposed a moment approach for orbit determinations of a close binary system with a short orbital period from astrometric observations alone . as an exact solution to the coupled equations ,
the orbital elements are written in terms of the second and third moments of the projected position that is measured by astrometry .
the moment formalism does not replace the standard method using kepler equation .
it is safer to say that the present formalism is a supplementary tool for giving a rough parameter estimation , which can be used as a trial value for full numerical data fittings .
it is interesting to make numerical tests of the present method .
it is left as a future work . in the moment approach ,
the temporal information is smeared .
therefore , the orbital period can not be determined by this method .
another method such as the fourier analysis of position data with time ( in fig .
[ points ] for example ) would give a characteristic frequency that is the inverse of the orbital period .
fourier analyses recover the orbital period from numerically simulated data for fig .
[ points ] .
this suggests that the moment approach can be applied also to unknown binary systems , if a fourier analysis is adequately used to know the orbital period .
namely , the method could be used to search new binary systems .
we would like to thank professor n. gouda for useful information on astrometry missions .
we wish to thank the jasmine science wg member for stimulating conversations
. we would be grateful to y. sendouda , r. takahashi and k. izumi for helpful conversations on numerical simulations .
this work was supported in part ( h.a . ) by a japanese grant - in - aid for scientific research from the ministry of education , no .
21540252 ( kiban - c ) and in part ( k.y . ) by jsps research fellowship for young scientists .
99 aitken , r. g. 1964 _ the binary stars _
( ny : dover ) asada , h. , akasaka , t. , & kasai , m. 2004 , pasj , 56 , l35 asada , h. akasaka , t. , & kudoh , k. 2007 , aj , 133 , 1243 .
asada , h. 2008 , pasj , 60 , 843 binnendijk , l. 1960 _ properties of double stars _
( philadelphia : university of pennsylvania press ) .
catovic , z. , & olevic , d. 1992 in _ iau colloquium 135 , asp conference series vol . 32 _
( eds mcalister h. a. , hartkopf w. i. , ) 217 - 219 ( san francisco , astronomical society of the pacific ) .
danby , j. m. a. , 1988 _ fundamentals of celestial mechanics _
( va : william - bell ) eichhorn , h. k. , & xu , y. 1990 , apj , 358 , 575 gouda , n. et al .
2007 , advances in space research , 40 , 664 .
mignard , f. ` overall science goals of the gaia mission ' , _ proc .
the three - dimensional universe with gaia _ , 4 - 7 october 2004 , paris ( netherlands : esa publications ) olevic , d. , & cvetkovic , z. 2004 , a&a , 415 , 259 perryman , m. a. c. ` overview of the gaia mission ' , _ proc .
the three - dimensional universe with gaia _ , 4 - 7 october 2004 , paris ( netherlands : esa publications ) roy , a. e. 1988 _ orbital motion _ ( bristol : institute of physics publishing ) thiele , t. n. 1883 , astron .
nachr . , 104 , 245 and @xmath33 .
the orbit denoted by the closed solid curve has a larger variance along the @xmath34-axis , where @xmath32 is larger than @xmath33 .
on the other hand , for the orbit denoted by the closed dashed curve , @xmath138 components of the position have a larger scatter , where @xmath33 is larger than @xmath32 .
, width=604 ] -axis .
the other is along the @xmath138-axis .
the orbit denoted by the solid curve is not distinguished by using the second moments @xmath32 and @xmath33 .
the moment @xmath36 is thus needed .
, width=604 ] , the argument of periastron as @xmath23 and the longitude of ascending node as @xmath22 .
these angles relate two coordinates @xmath139 and @xmath140 , both of which choose the origin as the common center of mass . here
, the @xmath141 axis is taken to lie along the semimajor axis of the apparent ellipse , while the @xmath142-axis is along the direction of the ascending node .
, width=377 ] plane for a simulation with constant time interval .
the parameters are @xmath143 [ deg .
] , @xmath144 [ deg . ] , @xmath145 [ deg . ] , @xmath146 , @xmath147 and @xmath116 .
the black curve and the gray ( red in color ) one denote orbits for the true parameter and for the mean value of the recovered parameters , respectively .
top : gaussian errors @xmath111 .
bottom : @xmath117 .
, title="fig:",width=529 ] plane for a simulation with constant time interval .
the parameters are @xmath143 [ deg . ] , @xmath144 [ deg . ] , @xmath145 [ deg . ] , @xmath146 , @xmath147 and @xmath116 .
the black curve and the gray ( red in color ) one denote orbits for the true parameter and for the mean value of the recovered parameters , respectively .
top : gaussian errors @xmath111 .
bottom : @xmath117 .
, title="fig:",width=529 ] . reconstructing the parameters for numerical simulations for three different eccentricity cases as @xmath148 . in the table
, the row @xmath149 indicates true orbital parameters , whereas the rows @xmath111 and @xmath112 provide the recovered values for adding gaussian errors ( 0.1 or 0.5 in the units of the true semimajor axis , respectively ) . for each parameter
set , 100 runs are done and the mean and the standard deviation are also evaluated . [ cols="<,<,<,<,<,<",options="header " , ] | arxiv |
How can you push the ground backwards?
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/WsGjS.jpg)
Whenever we come across " The physics behind walking" we often get answers stating that we push the ground backwards then it pushes feet forward and we walk ( very brief answer ) but the thing that's perplexing me is **How can somebody on the top of ground push the ground backwards ?**
It's very cross - intuitive as in real life we always see that whenever we push or pull something backward or forward we do it by applying force to the sides of the object. We never say that we pull or push a flat object backwards or forward by applying the force on the top of a flat object.
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/FfamH.jpg)
This push to the ground that is stated to be applied by us cannot be the normal force as it is always perpendicular to the surface. So what kind of force is being stated in those explainations ?
What I personally think is that it is normal reaction as no surface is perfectly flat and there are many curves on that so it is pretty much possible but in the end I don't want to keep any misconceptions.
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/fZAAZ.jpg)
Please help !
the answer is depicted in the first image you posted. There is a force $F\_{push}$ applied on the floor, by the runner. This force is neither perfectly horizontal nor vertical. It is oblique to the floor, but you can treat it as if it was a composition of two forces: a horizontal component $F\_h = F\_{push} \, \cos{\theta}$ and a vertical component $F\_v = F\_{push} \, \sin{\theta}$. Now, both of this components have a corresponding "reaction force" (according to Newton's 3rd Law). In particular, the reaction to the horizontal component is $F^\*\_h = - F\_h$ (it has the same magnitude but the opposite direction) which is a force applied on the runner by the floor. This force is simply friction, and is the one responsible for accelerating the runner forward.
Friction allows you to do it! What you say about having to push the side of an object to make it move is quite wrong. Simply place a book on a table top, and you will find you can make it slide around by pressing on the top of it. When you walk, your leg imparts a force on the ground at an angle. The vertical component of the force supports your weight, while the horizontal component propels you forward. If it were not for friction, instead of propelling you forward, your foot would slide backwards along the surface of the ground, as it might do on very slippery ice.
Two others have already answered but sometimes you need to hear the same thing in other words. It seems like you understand newtons 3rd law that for every force there will be an equal and opposite force. If I understood your question correctly then what is perplexing for you is that a "flat" surface is able to give a reaction force to the side (in other words not normal to the flat surface). This can only be done if there exist friction. Imagine what would happen if a person tried to run on an ideal non-frictional surface. He would just kick himself away in the normal direction. Now since there exist friction then your last picture is really good here, it shows that surfaces actually have microscopic obstacles which give rise to the friction. This means that one could kick on the flat surface and push oneself a bit more to the side instead of in the normal direction.
| stackexchange/physics |
Measuring and calculating free quark masses
Particle data book contains masses of the free quarks. I wonder, how do experimentalists determine the masses of the free quarks even though they are trapped inside hadrons (except perhaps in quark-gluon plasma)? Can quark masses be theoretically calculated and how much do they agree with experiments?
Nobody has seriously calculated theoretically a quark mass from first principles. So there is no issue of agreement with experiment. They are *parameters* in experimental fits, but sometimes remarkably consistent across a broad range of experiments-- and the QCD/EW calculations using them as inputs. If someone pretends to know their origin, he/she is bluffing.
[Constituent quark masses](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constituent_quark) have been fitted to hadron masses using simple potential models in the style of additive nuclear models. They range from 0.34Gev to 177GeV and are not too informative, as they are mostly glue for the light quarks, i.e. they arose out of chiral symmetry breaking---see below. They are not of any use in QCD/EW perturbative calculations, and, culturally, they have a life of their own, of possible assistance to diffractive scattering studies.
The more fundamental [current quark masses](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Current_quark) that are used in the fundamental lagrangian of the SM are extracted from DIS fits (deep inelastic scattering), for the heavy ones; but, mostly for the light ones, they are extracted, sometimes with the aid of lattice theories, out of chiral perturbation theory on the masses of the pseudoscalar mesons, via [Dashen's formula of chiral symmetry breaking](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiral_symmetry_breaking).
*They* range from 2MeV to 175GeV. For example, stringing several such formulas together one finds fits such as the popular one,
$$
\frac{m\_u+m\_d}{2m\_s}=\frac{m\_\pi^2}{2m\_K^2-m\_\pi^2}\approx \frac{1}{25}~.
$$
| stackexchange/physics |
proteins is the common name of the complex macro molecules which are formed by gathering of a great number amino - acids and which play unremitting roles in the life times of all of the living creatures .
there are approximately twenty different amino - acids which take place in the structure of the proteins and which are chain molecules .
the order or arrangement of this twenty units is sensitive and definite .
this order , determines the nature of the protein and as a result identifies its function @xcite . each protein molecule is formed by on original combination and consecutive placing of different numbers of amino - acids .
proteins under their own natural physiological conditions , spontaneously open out from one dimensional structures to three dimensional structures in the time intervals starting from milliseconds and getting to minutes .
the three dimensional structures of the proteins depend on various environmental factors in the cell .
unfolded proteins return to their natural states when the environmental factors are removed exhibiting the feature that the three dimensional structure of a protein solely depends on its amino - acid ordering information .
this situation gives the hope to some research workers that protein folding could be reconstructed by computer simulation @xcite .
but the difficulty of this simulation even for small proteins is in view . in this study ,
the model belonging to the proteins is presented in section 2 . in section 3 ,
the thermodynamical quantities concerning the variation of the increments of additional enthalpy @xmath0 and gibbs energy @xmath1 with respect to temperature have been expressed and these parameters are related to the parameters of the proteins with the help of statistical thermodynamics . at the end , from the curves belonging to the increments of enthalpy and gibbs energy ,
the conclusions relevant to the structures of the proteins are presented .
a simple model of protein unfolding has been developed by bakk @xcite .
bakk has started the model by choosing the water molecules as classical electric dipoles .
he has demanded that non polar dissolution should include important physical properties in order to model the effect on the folding of the proteins . in the model
used , in the medium of the formed electric field , the folding and unfolding of the proteins have been taken as the basis . here ,
the electric field is not an external field but has been used in the modelling of the ice - like behavior exhibited by the water molecules around the non polar surfaces .
the electric field is a result of the effective behavior of the non polar dissolvent applied to the protein unfolding .
the modified partition function of the protein system could be taken as @xcite : @xmath9 .\ ] ] here , @xmath10 represents the chemical potential and the term @xmath11 corresponding to the ph of the system has been introduced to the partition function .
@xmath12 indicates single particle partition function . where effective energy is given by @xmath13 @xcite .
on the other hand average dipole moment has the form @xmath14 .
taking electric field @xmath2 and total dipole moment @xmath3 as thermodynamical variables , the first law of thermodynamics could be written for the proteins in the form : @xmath15 in this case , change in the enthalpy is ; @xmath16 enthalpy and entropy increments could also be written by taking the total differentials of enthalpy @xmath17 and entropy @xmath18 which leads to : @xmath19 @xmath20 after substituting eq.(4 ) and eq.(5 ) in eq.(3 ) @xmath21 dm\ ] ] has been obtained .
writing down the expressions @xmath22 , @xmath23 and @xmath24 in eq.(6 ) and then integrating one could get for the enthalpy increment : @xmath25 dm.\ ] ] using the first law of thermodynamics for the proteins which has been given by eq.(2 ) , change in the gibbs energy @xmath26 could be written down . with a similar approach , taking the total differentials of the gibbs energy @xmath27 and total dipole moment @xmath28 and then substituting then in eq.(8 ) together with the expressions @xmath29 and @xmath30 leads after integration to the expression which gives the gibbs energy increment : @xmath31 the free energy of the system has been obtained from the relation @xmath32 giving : @xmath33 the thermodynamical quantities of the system has been determined using the entropy relation @xmath34 which in turn leads to : @xmath35 the total dipole moment has been calculated from the expression @xmath36 resulting in the following : @xmath37 the energy of the system is given by @xmath38 and when the partition function is substituted one obtains : @xmath39 additional heat capacity at effective field has been calculated by making use of the equation @xmath40 which gives : @xmath41 using the expression @xmath42 ^ 2 $ ] which has been obtained for additional heat capacity at constant total dipole moment ; @xmath43 \sinh(\beta \epsilon_e)- \\ \nonumber \frac{k^2 \beta^2}{(-2 \beta \epsilon_e \cosh(\beta \epsilon_e)+ ( 2 + \beta^2 \epsilon_e^2 ) \sinh(\beta \epsilon_e))}\times [ \epsilon_e \beta ( 4 \beta b m^2- 2 \beta \mu ) \cosh(\beta \epsilon_e)- \\ ( 4 + \beta ( b m^2 + 2\beta \epsilon_e- 2 \mu))\sinh(\beta \epsilon_e)]^2 \ } \\ \nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] has been calculated .
another quantity @xmath44 when calculated gives : @xmath45 when eq.(15 ) and eq.(16 ) are substituted in eq.(7 ) , after integration gives for the enthalpy increment : @xmath46 + t exp(\frac{b m^2 t+ t_t \mu}{2 k t_t t})\times \\ \nonumber [ -2 \epsilon_e ( b m+ \epsilon- k \epsilon+ ( k- 1 ) \epsilon_e ) \cosh(\frac{\epsilon_e}{k t})+ k ( -2 ( k- 1 ) t ( \epsilon- \epsilon_e)+ \\ b m ( 2 t+ m \epsilon_e)- 2 \epsilon_e \mu ) \sinh(\frac{\epsilon_e}{k t})]\ \}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] similarly , substituting eq.(11 ) into eq.(9 ) , after integration and writing down eq.(12 ) in this expression , one obtains for the gibbs energy increment : @xmath47- \\ \{t exp(\frac{\frac{b m^2}{t_t}+ \frac{2 \mu}{t}}{2 k})\times [ -\epsilon \epsilon_e \cosh(\frac{\epsilon_e}{k t})+ k t(\epsilon + \epsilon_e ) \sinh(\frac{\epsilon_e}{k t_t } ) ] \
\}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] now the numerical applications of the enthalpy and gibbs energy increments will be taken under consideration . the unfolding and then folding of the protein molecules take place by a thermodynamical mechanism .
in other words , the original structures of the macromolecules are determined thermodynamically . in the following figures ,
dashed lines represent experimental study where as solid lines theoretical results .
the physical quantities @xmath48 , @xmath49 and @xmath10 of the graphs which have been obtained in this semi phenomenological theory are determined by fitting to the experimental results of privalov . in figs .
( 1 ) and ( 2 ) the variations of the thermodynamical functions enthalpy and gibbs energy increments with respect to temperature are represented for two of the selected proteins .
yellow ( belonging to myoglobin ) and red ( belonging to ribonuclease ) solid lines indicate the variations with respect to temperature of increments of the thermodynamical quantities which have been obtained theoretically .
the enthalpy increments @xmath0 between the folding and unfolding states , has a negative value in the cold folding region .
this behavior shows that cold folding has been realized by giving heat out and this is negative heat capacity , on the other hand in the @xmath50 case the system is in the warm folding region and the heat capacity is positive . the greatest contribution to the natural structure
are provided by hydrophobic interactions . in an unfolding chain structure ,
hydrophobic amino - acid side chains are unfolded by a regular water molecule lattice and the entropy of the system decreases .
but when the chain undergoes folding and hydrophobic side chains are collected at intermolecular regions by getting a way from water , the regular water molecules will be free and as increase in the total entropy of the system takes place . in each protein molecule
@xmath1 gibbs potential increment , is a fraction of the quantity @xmath51 in the folding and unfolding states at each degrees of freedom and @xmath1 gibbs potential increment is not a monotonic function of temperature .
gibbs free energy increment between the folding and unfolding states has a maximum that is @xmath52 and thus the unfolded form is stable and at both sides of this maximum this increment becomes negative .
this means that two transitions take place .
one of them is the unfolding of the proteins at high temperature where as the other is the folding of the proteins at low temperature .
this phenomenon is known as cold denaturation in other words cold unfolding . as a result ,
in the cold denaturation transition hidden heat is negative and just opposite to this in the warm denaturation transition hidden heat has a positive value . during the folding of the protein entropy increases that is to say in returning to the original structure of the protein it is not preferred from the point of view of energy .
therefore there must be some factors which oppose the increase in entropy ( i.e. folding ) and encourage on the other hand the folding of the molecules .
since covalent structure is conserved during unfolding , forces which oppose the unfolding of the protein could not be covalent interactions .
transformation of the non polar molecules into water becomes with a considerable decrease in entropy .
the entropy of hydration of those non polar groups must be temperature dependent since hydration leads to an important increase in the heat capacity .
the same thing is expected for the enthalpy of hydration . in fact , if we look at the not hydration effect during the transition of the non polar components from gas phase to water we observe that both enthalpy and entropy are negative and the magnitudes decrease with increasing temperature .
hance , one could consider that the hydration effect is responsible from the dissolution of the non polar compounds in water .
privalov , j. chem .
thermodynamics * 29 * , ( 1997 ) 447 - 474 .
creighton , _ protein folding _
freeman and company new york , 1995 ) 83 - 151 .
t.e . creighton and b.d .
homes _ protein function _ ( john wiley , 1985 ) .
a. hensen , h. jensen , k. sneppen and g. zocchi , epj * b6 * , ( 1998 ) 157 - 161 .
a. hensen , h. jensen , k. sneppen and g. zocchi , pyhsica a * 270 * , ( 1999 ) 278 - 287 .
s. abe and y. okamoto , _ nonextensive statistcal mechanics and its applications _ ( springer - verlag , 2001 ) 259 - 274 .
a. bakk , j.s .
hoye and a. hansen , pyhsica a * 304 * , ( 2002 ) 355 - 361 . | arxiv |
Mass Effect 1. Chapter 1: Gathering Dark
_8/27/2211_
Distant peals of thunder echoed over towers of Nos Astra, heralding the oncoming of rain. Like an ocean wave the curtain of falling rain rushed in to shroud the great metropolis in a sea of mist and storm. Even as the rain fell harder, a lone quarian made her through the city's tangled streets. Her boots splashed out a rapid beat on the wet pavement as she hurried along, their music a counterpoint to the drumbeat of the water. Coming to a stop at the top of a long stairway, she spared an upward glance into the sky, droplets of water splashing against her mask as stared into the dark clouds swirling above.
_Dark, stormy and wet. If I were superstitious I'd say that's ominous. _Ria'Shepard shook her head grimly, continuing down the labyrinthine walkways between the skyscrapers towering above her. Her route descended into the city's lower levels where the deep shadows cast by the buildings made it feel as though she delved into a subterranean lair far removed from the light and warmth of day.
Over the past few weeks, fear had become her constant companion, its claws sinking into the base of her spine. Now those claws dug in deeper with every step as she felt unfriendly eye watching from every shadowed alley and darkened corner.
Ria glanced back over her shoulder, almost expecting to see a silhouetted figure trailing her through the freezing downpour. However the few living souls she encountered took no notice of her, hurrying past seeking refuge from the storm. _Get a hold of yourself, Ria_, the stern voice of the more rational part of her warned. _Even, if there's something out there, you can handle it. You can handle it. _She told herself those words over and over, hoping that by repetition they would come true.
Rounding a corner, Ria at last came within sight of her destination, a small bar by the name of _The Weeping Matriarch_. Stepping forward into the flickering light of its broken down neon sign, Ria gazed up at the hologram that depicted the eery white silhouette of an angelic figure with hands covering its face. _Well isn't that cheerful._
Council intel had sent her and her contact the name and location just over an hour ago, having chosen the spot for their meeting at random, to avoid the chance of prying eyes. Still, she wished they'd picked a less ominous location.
Taking a deep breath, Ria stepped through the bar's sliding doors into a room populated by a dozen or so down trodden faces sitting at shabby tables. The pale blue glow of the few overhanging lamps cast a depressing palor that only served to highlight the gloomy atmosphere. A few of the patrons turned, regard her with suspicious glares.
Ria silently cursed, noting not for the first time just how much the full armor she'd worn made her stand out from those around her. She'd known, of course, that the decision to do so would make it harder to stay inconspicuous. The alternative though, frightened her far more than some unwanted attention.
Ria took a seat at an empty table, maneuvering her chair to face the door. Minutes passed into an hour or more as she waited for the other spectre to appear. During this time there were a handful new arrivals, though each time the ragged men and women who entered seemed to take no notice of her.
The bar's gloomy atmosphere soon began to grate at the acute sense of unease gnawing at her gut. It was all to quiet, most conversations between the bar's patrons carried out in hushed tones. Through the soft murmurings the clinking of glasses and creaking of chairs sounding unnaturally loud to her ears, lingering in the air longer than they ought. As if in response to her thoughts, the bartender set some music to play through the overhead speakers. The forgettable, non-offensive club music dispelled some of Ria's unease along with the silence.
It was then that the bar's doors opened again with a hiss, Ria glanced up as she half expected to see yet another of disheveled face step through the door. Instead she was met with the sight of a tall, broad shouldered man wearing a dark gray coat. She recognized the man in an instant, after all, it was someone she'd known her entire life.
"Dad?" Ria whispered, her eyes meeting his as he took notice of her for the first time.
"Ria?" her father said, a wide smile spreading across his face.
Every ounce of fear that had been so strong before vanished in an instant as Ria stood, a smile of her own forming behind her mask.
His smile seeming to widen with each step, her father met her with a warm embrace that Ria quickly returned in kind. "Ria!" Shepard exhaled a surprised laugh over her shoulder, "Oh I've missed you, sweetheart."
"It's good to see you too, Dad." Ria smiled at ease for the first time in days.
"So, is this the part where you ask why I'm here?" Her father chuckled, pulling away to regard her at arm's length.
"I think I can guess on that one." Ria replied with a laugh of her own. "Still, I had no idea you'd be the one the Council would send. If I'd known …."
"Ha, I'd just been thinking the same thing," her father replied, at last loosening his embrace. "If I'd known, I would've worn something nicer." He continued, tugging at the hem of his coat to punctuate his point.
"I'd wondered what was up with the coat. Taking the whole secret agent thing to heart, or you tired of the old N7 armor?" Ria asked. She returned to her seat, her father sitting down next to her.
"Figured it would be a good idea to blend in a bit." Her father said, his mouth twisting into a lopsided smirks. "Besides, it _does_ makes me look like an action vid hero. How could I pass that up?"
"Dad, knowing the kind of ridiculous action vids _you_ like, the next thing you'll be doing is trying to jump a Mako over an exploding Dreadnaught. Then I'll have no choice but to pretend I don't know who you are," Ria countered.
"Damn, and I already had the dreadnaught picked out and everything," her father said, grinning back at her. "So, how have you been? We haven't had much of a chance to talk since your Spectre Induction ceremony last month."
"I've been worse." She answered, smiling. "Its just nice to finally be done with my training the and being back on the Invisible."
"So the council did decide to give you command back. I thought they might." Her father nodded.
"They seem to be under the impression that they'll be getting 'another Normandy' if they put me in charge again." Ria answered, shrugging again. "I'll try my best, but all I really did last time was stumble blindly into success."
"You're selling yourself short; you are a Shepard after all," her father assured her, giving her a warm smile.
Smiling at her father's confidence in her, Ria returned to answering his original question. "Anyways, its been nice to see the crew again: Tarran, Laura, and everyone else. Would you believe they actually threw me a 'welcome back' party?"
"Tarran's idea?" Shepard asked in a tone that was more a statement than anything else.
"Tarran's idea." Ria replied with mock seriousness. "The party went as well as you could have expected: things getting out of hand faster than you could say 'what's the worst that can happen?'. Tarran's fault, again."
"Hah, you'll have to tell me all about it when you have a chance." Her father nodded, his smile slowly fading into more serious expression. "So, business. What's going on?"
Her joy and relief at seeing her father drew back, leaving her all anxiety and paranoia surrounding her mission. Ria tapped finger against the table, silent as she pondered where to begin. "How much were you told?"
"Council wouldn't say much," her father replied, leaning forward as he spoke now in a undertone. "I thought it was a bit odd, honestly. I still don't know why-"
"I asked them too. Same reason I insisted they set up a separate meeting point; I had to be sure first," Ria answered quickly, keeping her voice low. "If I'd known it was going to be you, I would have just had us meet on the Invisible. Things probably would've been better that way."
"You didn't think you could trust another spectre?" her father asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically at this.
"I don't know who I can trust right now," Ria answered, shaking her head. "Over the past two weeks I've been lied to, stalked by spies, and attacked. After what I've been through. I can't trust anyone but my team."
Her father nodded slowly, gazing at her with evident concern. "What happened?"
"Well, it all really started two weeks ago when the council assigned me to-" Ria started, falling silent as she caught sight of movement from the corner of her eye.
A dozen ragged-looking men stood up from their table and headed her way. While it could be nothing, something about them set off her inner alarm, her skin tingling with tense anticipation. They seemed too purposeful in their movements, carrying with them a sense of oncoming dread.
As her father began to turn in his seat to see what had caught her attention, the leader of the group reached into his coat and drew a pistol. Ria's spectre training kicked in as the gun homed on her father's back. Already facing the man's direction, Ria reacted first, leaping out of her chair.
"Dad, get down!" Ria shouted. Darting forward, she threw her full weight into her father, shoving him aside.
The gun fired with a deafening bang, Ria crying out as her world erupted into a haze of obliterating agony.
* * *
**Author's Note: **Well guys, I'm finally back with a new story. I hope I didn't keep you guys waiting too long, as I needed some time to relax and plan before jumping into this one.
The next chapter should be out in a week, with the rest returning to my every-other week schedule from before. I will be trying to see if I can get chapters out quicker than that if I can, but I can't make any promises. Anyhow, that's all I have to say for now. Cheers everyone!
2. Chapter 2: A Knife in the Storm
_8/27/2211_
Ria cried out as searing hot agony erupted from her shoulder. Her vision blurred as she fell to one side, the pain threatening to blot out all other sensation.
Through the crimson haze Ria caught a blur of motion. An omni-blade lit up like a flare as her father whirled on the attacker. In a single fluid motion the blade fell: the would-be-assassin's head tumbling to the floor a moment before his body.
All at once the bar erupted into chaos. Shouts drowned out the music as bar's handful of patrons bolted for the door.
The five other men drew sub-machine guns or heavy pistols and moved to flank the Spectre facing them.
Only once before had Ria seen her father fight first hand, and that had been against a trained Cerberus agent with cybernetics much like his own. The sight of the unbridled fury he unleashed now was almost frightening to behold.
Her father darted to one side, the closest man unloading his clip into the space the Spectre had occupied an instant before. In a blinding arc Shepard's omni-blade removed assassin's hand and weapon. He barely had time to scream before Shepard leapt upon him, blood splattering the floor as two lighting-quick attacks carved an 'X' through the man's torso.
Turning, her father ducked under a slash aimed by a knife-wielding turian. Throwing his left shoulder into the attacker, Shepard sent him stumbling. Drawing a pistol from within his coat, her father gunned down a man flanking from the left before putting a round between the staggering turian's eyes.
Kicking the turian's body away, her father faced last two men. A round caught one dead center of the chest while another shot pierced the other's leg. His gun clicked empty an instant later, the sound accompanied by two solid thuds of his foes hitting the floor.
The doors of the bar burst open, Ria turning just in time to see two figures stepping inside. Unlike the other men who'd attacked them, these were clad in pitch black armor and held readied assault rifles.
"Dad, catch!" Ria shouted, tossing her vindicator to her father.
Snatching the weapon out of mid air, Shepard rolled to one side, avoiding the hail of gunfire from the two assassins. Coming out of the roll, he unloaded burst after burst into the closer of the two enemies. His target dropped with a warped cry; disruptor rounds tearing through shields and armor alike as if they were made of tissue paper.
The last assailant charged, throwing himself at the Spectre before Shepard could get his weapon to bear. The impact knocked the vindicator from his grasp, the weapon clattering against the floor as the two men struggled. The sheer ferocity of her father's foe startled Ria, the human clawing like a rabid animal as the Spectre struggled to throw him off.
Transfixed as she was, Ria almost missed the sudden movement as one the men she'd thought dead moved. He seized hold of the edge of a nearby table, hoisting himself up onto his one good leg and aimed his gun at Shepard's back..
Without thinking Ria drew her pistol and and fired. An echoing bang moments filled the room, followed by a wet crunch as the would be assailant fell face first onto the floor, this time to never rise again.
Ria winced an instant later as a wet snap sounded, turning her head just in time to see her father let his foe's limp form drop to the ground: the man's head lolling on a boneless neck.
Picking up the vindicator, Shepard's eyes fell on her. "Ria, are you alright?" Her father asked, practically sprinting over to her.
"I'm okay, I'm okay," Ria answered, struggling to rise from the floor. Before she could a hand pressed against her good shoulder, forcing her back down.
"Hold still, we need to stop the bleeding," her father started to say, digging out a med kit from a coat pocket.
"It can wait." Ria said, cutting him off. "There's bound to be more of them, we need to get out of here first."
Nodding, her father flipped the vindicator around, handing it back to her. Turning, he retrieved his own weapon.
Collapsing the rifle, Ria stowed it onto the back of her armor. Picking up her phalanx, she managed to will her left arm to obey her commands long enough for her to clumsily load a fresh clip.
Her father hooked an arm around her to support her weight as he carefully hoisted her up to her feet. Leaning against him, Ria spared a look around the bar for the first time since the fighting had begun. She was revealed to see that all of the bar's patrons had fled successfully fled.
_Good, no one was hurt._
"We need to make for the Invisible, I can lead the way." Ria instructed, readying her pistol.
"No yet, I need my armor and weapons first. They're at a Spectre cache, about half a mile away," her father said, mirroring her action with the paladin grasped in his left hand. "Ready?"
"Ready." Ria nodded. They hurried into the drenching gloom beyond the bar's doors.
"That was a stupid risk, taking that shot for me," he said after some time. "Besides, stupid self-sacrifice is my job, not yours," he added with a forced laugh, one that failed to hide the naked concern in his voice.
"I'm wearing armor, I had a better chance of surviving it," Ria countered.
"Just because I came incognito, doesn't mean I didn't consider things could go south," he replied, tugged the collar of his coat down just enough for Ria to see the light armored vest underneath. "Give me some credit."
"Well, my armor's heavier than that padding," Ria countered, wincing as each step sent a jolt of fresh pain through her arm and back.
"Ria . . .." her father said, his tone serious.
"There's no point arguing about it, I can't change what I did now." Ria frowned.
For a moment it looked like her father was going to continue arguing, but then he nodded slowly in acceptance of her point. They continued on in silence for several more minutes before they arrived at an entrance to an unassuming building. Stepping up the the doorway, her father pressed a hand against the scanner to one side. There was a soft _beep_ followed by a _click_.
Pushing the door open, Ria entered the small, featureless room. Boxes containing rations, medical supplies and ammunition sat on shelves or stacked in piles on the floor.
Carefully her father lowered her onto a crate, Ria wincing as she settled her weight on it.
"On a scale from one to ten, how much does it hurt?" Shepard asked, taking a med-kit from a shelf before stooping down next to her.
"Purple," Ria replied dryly.
"Yeah, that's real helpful," he muttered, sounding so very much like he had whenever she'd misbehaved as a child. After examining the wound, he dug out a medi-gel injector from a med-kit "The shot might've hit a bone, can't be sure till I have a chance to examine it more closely. Hold still a moment while I-"
Ria snatched the syringe from his hands, her father flinching at the sudden movement. "I can take care of myself, Dad. I don't need you babying me," Ria said impatiently, stabbing the needle into a small port in her suit.
Her father nodded in apology, taking a step back to give her some space. Seeing the hurt in her father's eyes, Ria regretted the harshness of her tone. Of course he'd be worried about her, and she bit his head off for just for wanting to help.
Averting her gaze, Ria unbuckled her armor's ruined left shoulder pad, letting it drop to the ground. Blood still oozed from the hole in the armor's underlayer, accompanying the throbs of pain that now dulled with each beat as the medi-gel's effects slowly set in. Digging through her own med-kit, she squeezed two small globs of condensed medi-gel onto her finger tips, wincing as she smeared the salve into the open wound. Finishing she filled the gap in her armor with omni-gel, hardening it into a tight seal with a wave of her omni-tool.
"You good?" her father asked when she finished, extending a hand to her,
"Yeah." Ria answered, her voice already feeling less hoarse than it had been. Taking his hand, she was hoisted up to her feet. She wavered for a moment before she managed to steady herself, shaking her head to clear sudden bout of lightheadedness.
Her father shouldered duffel bag laying off in one corner; its contents rattling as it settled into place. "Docks are about a mile away. If we hurry we can reach it before anymore trouble."
"You sound optimistic." Ria noted, readying her rifle.
"One day I'll have to be right," he replied with a grim smile, bringing his paladin up as he stepped to one side of the door.
Stepping to the other side, Ria gave a wordless nod before they stepping back out into the mists.
Flashes of lightning illuminated the path before them as they wound their way through Nos Astra's twisting streets. Other than the faint light of skycars darting far above their heads, no sign of life could be seen.
A barely perceptible splash was the only warning as a dark figured materialized out of the darkness, lunging at them with almost supernatural speed. A blade rung as it cleared its sheath, a foot and a half long steel shard appearing in the man's hands. Its edge burned white hot, hissing in the cool rain.
In a blur of motion her father sidestepped the attack, his omni-blade burning like an ember as it formed around his wrist. Locking blades, the Spectre managed to throw his opponent back, the attacker stumbling as his footing slipped on the slick ground. However, before her father could press his advantage, he was forced to whirl to face yet another assassin who'd appeared to join the first.
Ria wasn't able to catch what happened next as a third figure materialized from the mists, his naked blade bearing down on her. Darting out of reach, Ria opened fire: rounds deflecting harmlessly off her foe's kinetic barriers. In the brief flashes produced by her weapon, Ria caught a glimpse of strange, midnight blue armor; its edges clinging to the darkness around it as if shaped from solid shadow. A helmet hid the assassin's face, its shape seeming almost skeletal with sunken eyes hopes and deep groved on both side that gave the appearance of a gaunt face.
The next attack fell an instant later, Ria barely managing to avoid being cloven in two. While she moved quickly enough to avoid serious harm, the blade's tip drew a stinging line across the back of her hand. Hissing in pain, Ria slung her rife across her back and activated her omni-blade. Falling into a defensive stance, she barely had time to parry the avalanche of incoming blows.
While the speed of her foes attacks wasn't at the same level of most cybernetically augmented fighters; Ria was left without a shadow of a doubt that her opponent's abilities were not wholly natural. Each blow was far too quick and precise, but yet seemed to lack the elegance of a truly experienced combatant. It was as if she was facing an average fighter granted capabilities beyond what he'd earned on his own
With sudden inspiration, Ria realized she could use that to her advantage. Falling back as the attacker pressed his assault, Ria let him believe he had her on ropes. With another step Ria backed herself against a wall. The assassin lunged, blade darting in for what seemed like the finishing blow.
Ria smirked. In his confidence, her opponent overextend himself, leaving him unprepared when Ria stepped out to the left while knocking his sword to her right. The blade stuck the wall, carving a deep gouge into the solid stonework. Spinning in a full arc, Ria drew her combat knife in her left hand, burying it into the assassin's forearm
His blade falling from his slackening grip, the assassin could do little more than yell in pain as Ria drove her omni-blade through his chest. The man fell lifelessly a moment later, red blood spilling onto the street to mix with the churning rain.
Turning back in her father's direction, Ria saw that he was sorely pressed. Even with his enhanced speed, he was barely keeping up with the two attacking foes. Drawing her rifle, Ria took careful aim; catching one of the assassins in the shoulder. While the attack did little harm, it did managed to catch the man off guard for split second.
This was all the opening Shepard needed, the Ria's father turning his back to flinching man as he dodged an attack launched by the other. Grabbing the assassin's wrist, he guided the attack forward; impaling the recovering assassin on his comrade's blade. Letting go, he drove his knee into his final foe's gut, the man doubling over in pain moments before the spectre's omni-blade ended his life.
"Thanks." Shepard nodded to Ria, deactivating his omni-blade.
"It was nothing." Ria panted, suddenly finding herself out of breath. "Come on, there might . . . might be more of them."
Without another word they started down the deserted streets, leaving the carnage far behind them.
After a several minutes the docks came into sight, the duo redoubled their pace, practically sprinting now. As they ran, Ria opened her comms, accessing her ship's encrypted channels. "Core, come in. This is Ria. You there?"
"_Affirmative,"_ replied the synthesized voice of the geth. "_What is your status?"_
"There's been a bit of trouble, but we're on route to the docks now. I'll need you to disengage lock down once we arrive."
"_Understood, we take it you successfully made contact with the other Spectre?"_
"I did, and you couldn't guess who it is."
"_Judging by your reaction, we can summarize that it is someone you know. With this narrowing down the range of possibilities; our best guess would be that your father is the Spectre in question." _Core replied in what could only be described as a self-satisfied tone.
"Rhetorical question, Core. Rhetorical!" Ria sighed. "Just get ready, we'll be there soon."
Closing her comms, Ria saw the docks ahead illuminated in a flash of lighting, the tangled scaffolding casting jagged lines against briefly back lit sky.
For what felt like an eternity they climbed, until at last they came out onto a wide landing pad near the very top of the docks. Though the veil of rain Ria could barely make out the sleek, black form of the Invisible; appearing as a shadow amongst the mists.
"Core, we're here."
No sooner had she finished speaking, Ria heard a faint grinding noise as a sliver of gold appeared in the darkness as the Invisible's cargo doors opened before them; its warmth and light promising refuge from the dark danger outside.
Without pausing Ria acceded to ramp, her father following a step behind, and passed into the ship's cargo hold.
For a moment the bright lights stung Ria's eyes, so sharp was the contrast to the dark overcast outside. Blinking, her vision resolved in time to see the unmistakable forms of Tarran Vakarian and Laura Alenko approaching from the other side of the bay. Both were fully armored and carried weapon; seeming to Ria as though they'd expected for her to return with an entire army at her back.
"Ria. 'Uncle' Shepard," Tarran greeted, turning to each of them in turn. "Core just told us you'd arrived."
"Tarran, Laura. Good to see you both," her father answered.
"I take it things didn't go as planned," Laura said, noting the splotches of blood staining Ria's suit.
"If you count getting attacked by members of that same group as before, then yes, you could say that." Ria frowned, brushing past without waiting for an response. "Talena, how soon can we be in the air?"
"_About ten, maybe twenty minutes. I began preflight checks as soon as Core said you were on your way. Just need to finish those and get clearance, then we'll be on our way," _the ship's pilot replied over the comms.
"Good. Ask Core for the coordinates of our next destination. He'll know the ones I'm talking about."
"_Gotcha, Talena out."_
"Tarran," Ria said, looking back over her shoulder as both her friends and her father followed after her. "I need you to go run inventory on our weapons, and make sure we're stocked up on thermals."
"On it," the turian nodded, quickening his pace to sprint on ahead.
"Laura, I need you to run a diagnostic on our weapon's systems and bring them online," Ria continued, turning to the marine.
"We expecting trouble?" Laura asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically.
"No, but considering the day I've had, I'd rather we erred on the side of excessive paranoia." Ria shook her head. Considering what she'd said for a moment, she quickly added, "Probably should wait to bring the weapons up until after we're off world. Don't want to give anyone the wrong impression."
"Consider it done," Laura replied, breaking off towards the elevator.
Veering off to the side, Ria made her way through the doorway that led to the ship's engineering bay. Passing by the workstations, she quickly came upon the spot where a hammock had been stretchered between two coolant pipes in one of the corners.
"Kel, quit sleeping on the job. Its time to get to work!" Ria hollered to the blue-clad quarian curled up in the center of the hammock.
"I'm awake, I'm awake!" Kel said, bolting upright as he frantically tried to extricate himself from his hammock, tumbling out of it to hit the floor with a solid _thump._
"I'm okay." The diminutive quarian called out before Ria could move to help; hastily picking himself up. Flustered, Kel began rambling quickly as he dusted himself."S-sorry about that, I d-didn't know we'd be leaving so soon."
"Don't worry about it, I just need that drive core needs to be running at full capacity by the time we hit the relay. I'd rather not wait until after our next firefight to iron out the kinks introduced by that last software update," Ria instructed. As she continued past, Ria turned so that she still faced. "Besides, we have a guest here: so I'd just prefer it if we gave the impression of being at least somewhat professional."
"Oh, um, r-right," Kel answered, noticing Ria's father for the first time; who simply nodded back with at him with a warm smile. Shepard's presence seemed to have an noticeable effect on the sentinel, his widening in evident awe. "I-I'll just get to work t-then... o-over there." Kel stuttered nervously, practically darting away as he retreated into the back of the engine room.
"He normally like that?" Shepard asked, looking to Ria once Kel had gone.
"Kel is a bit... awkward around people," she answered with a shrug, stepping back out into the hallway outside engineering. "Probably doesn't help when that person he's around is as famous as Commander Shepard."
"Right. That." He sighed, conceding her point.
Stepping into the elevator, Ria pressed the button that would take them up to the crew's deck. With a chime, the elevator opened, Ria leading her father toward the armoury.
"Ria," a low voice called out before she'd taken more than a few steps. Stopping, she turned to see Daron walking towards her. The mercenary glanced Shepard's way as he came to a stop before them, though if he was surprised by Ria's father's presence he didn't show it.
"You should have taken someone with you, going alone wasn't the smartest decision you've made," Daron said bluntly as he turned his attention back to her.
"Yes, because I needed you to play babysitter, right?" Ria countered, turning away from the man to continue towards the armory.
"Because getting killed would have been so much better?" Daron asked, his footsteps joining theirs as he followed after.
"Its funny that you and everyone else decide to act like you're my dad when he's actually here," Ria replied sharply, trying to end the argument as quickly. "I can handle myself perfectly fine."
"Whether you can handle yourself or not had nothing to do with it. Your insistence on trying to get yourself killed is."
"I'm flattered by your concern, but I'm not in the mood right now," Ria said, her tone growing more forceful with each word..
With an annoyed growl Daron's footsteps ceased, the mercenary finally giving up on following her through the Invisible's tight corridors.
Entering the armory, Ria found Tarran already at work inside; the turian pouring over their equipment while keeping a tally on a data pad held in a taloned hand.
"You can keep your equipment here." Ria turned back to her father as she spoke. "Tarran will take care of finding space for everything."
"Gotcha," he said with a smirk, hefting his duffel bag up into both hand and turned in Tarran's direction. "Catch!" He shouted with a laugh, flinging the bag in the turian's direction
Tarran barely managed to catch it in time, its weight forcing him back a step. "Oh joy, yet more work. Slave driver," he muttered, just loud enough to be sure Ria heard.
"Hey, that's high overload slave driver to you. Now get back to work," Ria replied, a smile tugging at her lips as she heading back out of the armory.
"So where to now?" her father asked as he stepped out into the hallway.
"Its probably best if we speak in my quarters before we speak. Less chance of someone listening in. This way" Ria answered, waving in the room's direction.
Leading the way, Ria entered her living quarters. The relatively barren room befit a military vessel; furnished with a bed with two side tables, a wardrobe, and a simple desk pushed against one side of the room. On the desk sat a small holographic emitter displaying an approximation of Rannoch's solar system.
"Huh, reminds me of my old quarters on the first Normandy," her father noted as he began looking around the room. "I'm impressed though, you've managed keep it cleaner than your room back home."
"Hah hah." Ria said dryly, digging through a desk drawer for a bottle of antibiotics. Its contents rattled as she worked at its lid, finally managing to pour two pills onto an open hand. Feeding them through a port at the bottom of her helmet, she forced them down in single gulp. _Bit late now, but hopefully it'll still help lessen the infection_, Ria thought, cursing herself for not having been carrying antibiotics with her..
"Core, disable the room's monitoring equipment. I don't want there to be a recording of anything I say here," Ria instructed. She plopped herself down on the edge of her bed and let out a drawn-out sigh.
"_Are you concerned about us observing your conversation?"_ the geth asked, his hesitant tone broadcasting his dislike for the order.
"No. But I'm worried about someone else managing to. Humor me," Ria replied, wincing as she rubbed her aching shoulder.
"You should be in the medbay getting that checked out," her father frowned as he took his seat in a chair across from her, folding his hands across his lap.
"The medi-gel's done its job; a little lingering pain won't kill me." Ria said, pulling her hand away with another wince. "It's not like you have room to talk, from everything mom's told me."
"No, I suppose I don't." Shepard sighed. He tapped a finger against his leg for several moments, seeming to be lost in thought. "You mentioned to Laura that those men who attacked us were part of some group you've 'faced before'. Do you know who they are?"
"No, I don't," Ria answered wearily, dropping the facade of confidence and control she'd worn for the sake of her crew. "Honestly? I can't even say for sure they even _were_ the same people who tried to kill me before tonight. It could be a coincidence, but that attack was too similar to be unconnected. All I know this is the second time someone's tried to kill me since I got here . . .."
Ria closed her eyes as the darkness all around her seems to be closing in; hands of clawing shadow promising to drag her into oblivion.
"Ria? Are you okay?" her father asked, his voice seeming to be coming from far off. A hand suddenly gripped her shoulder, snapping her back to the present. Ria noticed she was shivering, the room suddenly feeling very cold.
"I'm fine." Ria assured him, hoping that she sounded stronger than she felt. "It's just . . . It's just that at least with Cerberus I knew what I was up against. I had a goal, a clear enemy to face. Now . . . now I feel like I stumbling blindly in the dark . . . helpless."
Ria trailed off, shivering again as the cold around her seemed to intensify. "This whole thing has been a disaster from the beginning. I should have guessed early on . . . all the warning signs were there."
"You'll have to start at the beginning Ria. How did this all begin?" her father asked, speaking softly as he urged her to continue
"Two weeks ago I was contacted by the council for my first real mission: to investigate the activities of ExoGeni's branch here on Ilium," Ria answered, her voice dropping to a whisper.
"All the council told me was that they had contracted ExoGeni to perform some high security research. Over the past few months, Council Intelligence began noticing project members making a number of strange communications and financial transactions."
"They didn't give you any details about what this project was about?" Shepard asked, a raised eyebrow the only indication of his concern."
"I tried to use my Spectre access to find out, but came up empty. Whatever it is, the council's keeping it hushed up; even from the Spectres," Ria answered with a shake of her head. "I should have know then, but stupidly I let the matter drop. I figured this would be an just a simple mission. Turns out I couldn't have been further from the truth."
* * *
**Author's Note:** Okay guys, hope this makes up for last one being a bit short. . . and having a cliffhanger. As for now I plan to be sticking to a chapter every other week, though will put them out earlier whenever I happen to get them done quicker. Anyhow, thats all I needed to say. See you guys in the next one!
EDIT 4/5/2014 Fixed strange correuption of filed when I uploaded it that releted lettered and replaced others with strange characters.
3. Chapter 3: City of Secrets
_8/12/2211 Fifteen days earlier..._
"_Atmospheric entry complete. Arrival at Nos Astra docks, fifteen-point-seven-three minutes,"_ Core announced. The turbulence that had shaken the ship a moments before dissipated as quickly as it had come.
"Oh no, ahead of schedule for once. Clearly the end times are upon us," Ria gasped, a smirk hidden by her mask.
"_Creator-Shepard, I do not think our ability to arrive at our destination in a shorter timeframe than expected is any indication of—"_
"I know, Core. It was a joke." Ria sighed, cutting the geth off before he finished. "Of all the skills you were programed with, they couldn't bother giving you a sense of humor."
"_It was deemed unnecessary to—"_
"That was rhetorical, Core, rhetorical." Ria sighed again, more bemused than annoyed at the geth's response.
Stepping down from the CIC, Ria spoke quickly. "Tell Laura and Tarran to meet me at the airlock in fifteen minutes. You're acting XO until we get back. No one else is allowed off the ship unless I order otherwise, at least until I figure out if shore leave on this trip is a good idea. Other than that, you know the drill."
Taking the elevator down to the crew deck, Ria entered her quarters to gather her gear. About ten minutes later, Ria finished suiting up. Heading back up to the main deck to meet her team at the airlock, finding Tarran and Laura already there waiting for her.
"Look, the great and powerful Spectre Ria finally arrives," Tarran greeted, smirking as he nudged Laura with an elbow. "Surely, we'd be lost without her wisdom to guide us."
"You through yet?" Ria asked, rolling her eyes in feigned annoyance. As grating as their teasing could get, and though she'd never admit it to them, she'd missed it in the year she'd been away.
"Actually, I have I have a few more I could try if you want," the turian answered, his mandibles spreading in what could only be described as a devilish grin.
"Let's not," Ria replied, stepping into the airlock. "Core, I take it there wasn't any issue getting permission to dock?"
"_Affirmative. We're coming in on final approach now."_
A slight shift in the hum of the ship's engines was the only perceptible change she felt as the ship decelerated as it touched down.
"_We have arrived at our intended destination," _the geth announced a moment later.
"Right, you heard the genderless, multi-program consciousness, time to get going," Ria said, motioning for her teammates to follow into the airlock.
"So, Ria, what can you tell us about the mission?" Laura asked while they waited for the airlock's atmosphere equalization process to complete. "I know we're here to investigate some corporation, but you didn't tell us much when we left the Citadel."
"Honestly, I barely know more than you." Ria shrugged. "ExoGeni's Illium branch has been working with the council on some top-secret contract, very hush-hush. The council tends to engage in this kind of thing only when it comes to military tech. Apparently council intelligence picked up some strange transactions and messages related to Project Winter."
"I'd wager good money that the whole thing isn't exactly aboveboard," Tarran remarked with a frown. "You know anything about what they're working on?"
"I tried to find out, but if the council kept records on this project, they require clearance above a Spectre's," Ria answered.
"And you're not at all curious?" Laura asked, arching an eyebrow.
"_Keelah,_ of course I'm curious, but I'm not exactly in the best position to go against the council right now," Ria said. She didn't need to explain to them why. They knew as well as she did the particular terms of her Spectre candidacy. "As far as I'm concerned, not pissing off the council is the general game plan for this mission."
"Unless we have to?" Tarran asked with a knowing grin.
"Unless we have to." Ria smirked. A chime sounded as the atmospheric equalization process completed, the airlock doors opening into the docking tube.
"Besides, it might not even be necessary for us to have to make that call on this one. Right now we're just meeting with the regional CEO, on the council's orders," Ria continued, stepping out onto the corridor leading to the docking platform. "Exogeni didn't answer when the council enquired, so we're here to make sure the company cooperates."
"They probably figured sending a Spectre in person would scare just about anyone into compliance," Tarran noted.
"No doubt. Still, if everything goes as planned, we could be done with this by the end of the day. If they don't, well, a simple infiltration mission shouldn't take too long." She shrugged again. While she knew the mission was serious, a Spectre wouldn't have been sent otherwise, the mission looked routine enough that she wasn't exactly worried.
Reaching the end of the docking tube, the trio stepped out into Nos Astra's docks. Unlike platforms reserved for commercial spacecraft, the sections reserved for private vessels were open aired.
The sight beyond the spaceport took Ria's breath away, the Nos Astra skyline glowing in the twilight of early morning. Golden lights shown from the windows of skyscrapers, mixing with the orange rays cast by the sun's edge as it peeked out over the horizon. Motes of violet blues from distant neon displays melded with the darting white of skycars that ran in streams between the towering spires of the city's heights.
"Quite a view," Tarran commented as he gazed out over the glittering skyline. "Almost makes you forgot that Illium is barely safer than Omega."
"Just means we need to keep our guard up," Ria replied, turning away from the view. "Come on, we better get going."
**. . . . .**
It took them a few minutes to hail a taxi, then another half an hour of travel before they arrived at the ExoGeni building. The headquarters of the corporation's Illium branch was a spire of gray and black, its windows shimming like sapphires even in the morning's warm light.
Stepping out of the taxi, Ria found her gaze drawn upward at the but cold monolith. An icy shiver rolled through her despite her suit's climate-controlled warmth. Her eyes lingered for a moment longer before she tore them away, shaking her head to clear her daze
Ria began ascending the steps leading up to the building's entrance, Tarran and Laura following silently behind. The city slumbered in the ethereal twilight, only the skycars passing overhead showing signs of life.
As she reached the last few steps, Ria caught a blur of movement in the corner of her eye. She spun around, narrowed eyes searching the shadows where she'd sworn a dark shape had darted between neighboring buildings. Nothing moved.
"What is it?" Laura asked, her eyes following Ria's gaze.
"It's nothing, thought I saw something," Ria answered. _Come on Ria, stop over reacting_, she scolded herself.
Brushing aside her discomfort, she continued to the building's entrance. The automatic doors slid away at her presence, seeming to usher her inside.
Ria found herself in a lavishly furnished reception room. The chamber was two stories, with an open balcony running along the far wall. To either side a waterfall plunged into shallow pools ringed with ferns, filling the space with a soothing hiss. Chairs and couches sat in clusters around obsidian coffee tables, their silver color standing in sharp contrast to the black tiled floors.
No sign of life could be seen, even the reception desk sitting in the left corner appearing deserted.
"Of course they have a waterfall. Why wouldn't they?" Tarran said, his tone dry. He stopped next to Ria.
"Hey, don't let them hear you say that, Tarran. They have _two_ waterfalls," Laura replied, a bemused smile emphasized by her sarcasm."Everyone knows that a CEO's worth is measured by how many waterfalls they have in their office. Are you trying to get us kicked out?"
"She's right, Tarran, be careful what you say next time." Ria laughed, her voice echoing slightly in the empty space.
Crossing the room, the trio passed through the doors at the far end, coming into a security checkpoint that stood before the rest of the building.
As soon as they entered, two security guards in gray and green armor stepped forward to bar their way, their hands dropping down to holstered pistols. A rhythmic _clanking_ filled the air, four Loki mechs shambled forward, breaking off into two pairs to stand at the guards' flanks.
"Stop right there! Weapons aren't allowed inside. State your business," one guard demanded. His fingers twitched as they hovered an inch from his holstered gun, as if he half expected the three heavily armed guests to attack at any moment.
"I'm Spectre Ria'Shepard, here on council business to speak with Administrator Wethern," Ria answered, activating her omni-tool to transfer the necessary clearance files. "As for our guns, I think you'll find Spectres are exempt from such rules."
"It seems to check out," the other security officer said, glancing through the files on his omni-tool.
"Only applies for you. Unless your friends are Spectres as well, we'll need to confiscate their weapons." The first guard ignored his companion, opting to glare at Ria instead, as if daring her to refuse.
"Either you let them keep them, or you let none of us in: it's your choice," Ria said, dropping her voice into what she hoped was a threatening tone. "I'd hate to find out what your superiors would do if they found you refused a Spectre entry."
The guard said nothing for several moments, swallowing as he met Ria's gaze. "You can pass," he yielded, his omni-tool flashing as he opened the security checkpoint blocking the way forward. "I'll inform Mr Wethern of your arrival. Follow the hall up ahead, and take the elevator up to the One-hundred-sixty-first floor."
Nodding in thanks, Ria stepping through the checkpoint. Through the corner of her eye she saw that the guard's gaze lingered on her as she walked past, a mask of suspicion worn openly on his face.
"You know we could have just left our weapons back there, right?" Laura asked once they were out of earshot. "It's not like we're expecting a fight."
"Oh, I know," Ria said, flashing her friend a smirk.
"… let me guess, you just wanted a chance to throw your Spectre status around." Laura gave a low chuckle.
"Why not? Now that I actually have some authority for a change, why shouldn't I use it?" Ria replied defensively. "Besides, that guard was trying to give us trouble."
"Uh-huh." Laura returned Ria's gaze with a flat stare. "Whatever you say, fearless leader."
"Hey, your 'fearless leader' doesn't take kindly to insubordination. Keep this up and I'll have to give you bathroom-cleaning duty," Ria countered, rolling her eyes.
"Slave driver."
Stepping out of the elevator, they entered a large room made up the vast majority of the One-hundred-sixty-first floor. Wide windows all around gave an unobstructed view of Nos Astra's skyline. Rows of wooden desks flanked either side of the straight path that led to a set of double doors opposite the elevator. At least three dozen people occupied the space, working silently at their stations.
An eerie silence struck Ria like a solid wall. Not a soul spoke, allowing every little _creak_ of a chair or synthesized _click_ of a holographic keypad to sound preternaturally loud. Stepping forward, Ria grew more unnerved with each step as one by one faces turned to regard her; suspicion lurking in sunken, haunted eyes. Looking back, Ria saw her friends tense up as they watched the workers.
Finally reaching the set of wooden doors, Ria stepped forward and knocked, her nerves screaming for her to get out of the room as fast as possible.
"Come in," a voice called back from inside.
Pulling the door open, Ria entered into a lavishly furnished office, even by the rest of the building's standards. Oil paintings hung in silver frames on every wall, their colorful abstract designs illuminated by dim spotlights.
Behind a large obsidian desk a middle-aged man was seated in a large, high-backed chair. His black hair and neatly trimmed beard were streaked with lines of gray that stood in contrast to his dark tan skin.
On closer inspection, Ria noticed that the suit was slightly disheveled, as if he'd been wearing it for several days without changing. Dark rings from lack of sleep hung under the man's eyes, their edges red with bloodshot veins.
The man stood from his chair, extending a hand in greeting. "I'm Administrator Wethern, regional CEO of ExoGeni's Illium branch," he said warmly, a smile spreading across his lips. As energetic as the greeting was, it did nothing to hide a sense of anxious fear that hung over the executive.
Ria took his hand, shaking, "Spectre Ria'Shepard."
"It's a pleasure. Now please, take a seat. Your friends too. Might as well get comfortable while we talk," Wethern said, withdrawing his hand. As the executive returned to his seat, Ria noticed him nervously glancing over his shoulder.
Hesitating a moment, Ria took a seat in one of the immaculate, olive green chairs before the desk, Tarran and Laura taking seats to either side.
"Can I offer you anything to drink? I can have something sent up," Wethern offered once they were all settled. A single finger tapped out a frantic rhythm against the desk's surface as he spoke, his eyes flicking rapidly between Ria and her friends
"No, thank you." Ria locked her fingers together over her lap. For a moment she sat silently, examining every detail of the executive's face. He was scared, that was plain to see, but was it the council that he was afraid of? Or something else? "I take it you know why I'm here?"
"Yes, that dreadful business with the council," Wethern answered, speaking quickly. "I wanted to respond to their questions, I really did. I couldn't risk it, not when _they_ could be listening in."
"Listening in?" Ria asked, arching an eyebrow behind her mask. "Has something happened?"
"Someone's been targeting my company," the executive answered. "Not just me, but my people too. I don't know who and can only guess why …."
"Is that why your employees were acting so strangely?" Laura asked, cutting in before Ria could respond. "We noticed they were acting a bit odd on our way in."
"They're afraid, just like I am. Afraid they will be next," Wethern answered, a finger tapping a frantic beat against his desk as he spoke.
"If there's more to this than an information leak, I need answers," Ria said, cutting straight to the point. "You said someone's been targeting your company. Tell me everything."
Wethern's hand ceased its tapping, the room falling utterly silent. Slowly, he nodded. "I'd better start at the beginning then."
Ria leaned back in her chair, her attention fully on the executive as he began his story.
"It all started about two months ago, when one of my employees in data management noticed a string of strange data leaks coming from our encrypted server. At the time, I thought nothing of it: espionage isn't exactly uncommon on Illium." He paused, once again glancing over his shoulder.
"So I instructed him to close the leaks, which worked for a few days. Then they started again, right around the same time financial picked up an unauthorized transfer of credits to an external account," he continued, his fingers resuming their rapid beat against the table. "It wasn't much, only a couple hundred thousand credits were taken. But when we tried to trace it, the account in question simply didn't seem to exist. The transfers increased frequency as the weeks went by."
Wethern stood, turning to gaze out over the city. He leaned wearily against the glass and looked back at them. "I tried my best to have my people look into it, but it didn't do any good. We knew how important it was that our work on the …. Well, on the project, didn't become common knowledge. Or what the council would do if they found out."
"What were you working on that was so important that no one else finds out?" Ria asked.
The executive paled at her question, eyes flicking around the room nervously. "I-I'm sorry, I can't answer that. The council made it clear: only those with their direct authorization may be read in."
Ria almost started to try to claim the council _had_ authorized her be told about it, a voice in the back of her head warned that this would be a monumentally stupid idea. Even if she could convince the executive of the lie, disobeying direct orders from the council would have consequences. Sighing inwardly, Ria relented to the aggravating voice of caution and reason, dipping her head in a nod, accepting the executive's answer.
"You have to believe me, we didn't intend any of this to happen. I'd hoped to deal with the problem before it got out of hand, rather than risk the contract," the man continued from where he'd left off. "Then people started dying."
The man grimaced, open fear in his eyes. "The first was Parker, the data management admin who first noticed to leaks. He was found dead in his home after not arriving for work two days in a row, his throat slit. Within the next few days both Mason and Barnand, two of my employees working in financial who'd been assigned to trace the transaction, turned up dead in the streets, shot."
"Did the police find anything?" Tarran asked, speaking up for the first time. "Didn't they investigate any of this?"
"Yes, but they said that there was nothing connecting the murders other than that all three were employed here. Said it was coincidence, given the city's crime rate," he answered. "It didn't stop there, four more of my people have turned up dead since then, and three others simply vanished."
"How long ago was that?" Ria asked.
"The last death was only two days ago," Wethern answered, shaking his head sadly. "I have heard from others that they have begun to notice people watching them. I have as well, and last night I think I spotted someone trailing me. I don't know anything else, nor what I could still do."
Ria sat in silence weighing everything the man had said. Several moments crawled by before she asked, "Do you have any idea who could be responsible?"
"No. My only guess would be an competitor, but I think that unlikely. I fear it could be a terrorist cell or some other outside power; who are only targeting me because of ExoGeni's joint project with the council."
_I hope he's wrong. I've already had enough experience dealing with one crazy terrorist group for a lifetime._ Ria frowned behind her mask. "If this has gotten as bad as you said, why didn't you go to the council? While I don't know the details of what you're working on, it's important enough for me to be sent. Another Spectre might have been sent sooner."
"I must admit, the decision was one of pride at first," the executive admitted "I believed my people could handle the matter, before the first deaths, at least. After that I was too afraid that if I begged the council for aid, and _they_ found out, that I might not live long enough to see the aid arrive."
"If that's right, then how is Ria being here now any different?" Laura cut in, eyes narrowing as she regarded the man sitting across the desk. "Now that a Spectre is here, what's stopping whoever's behind this from moving against you directly?"
"The only difference now is that I hope the pretense of Spectre might deter _them_. The whole galaxy knows to respect and fear the Spectres. No one can overlook that," Wethern answered, meeting the soldier's eyes as he spoke. "I knew it would only be a matter of time before someone was sent, either way. I gambled that if the council sent someone on their own volition _they _wouldn't know until it was too late."
Turning her head, Ria saw Laura cross her arms as she leaned back in her chair, not breaking from her steady gaze upon him.
For her part, Ria was focused on Wethern, trying her best to get a read on him. He looked back at her with fearful eyes, almost pleading for her to believe his story. Try as she might, she couldn't find anything that would indicate his fear was anything but genuine. The tension in his movement, the paranoid glances, the dread in the depths of his eyes; it all seemed so very real.
Slowly Ria nodded, making up her mind. "I'll report back to the council on what you've said, after which I can begin searching for whoever is behind the attacks against ExoGeni."
Wethern's eyes lit up at this, a relieved smile spilling over his face. "Thank you. If you can do this … thank you."
"I'll need access to your financial records and encrypted data if I'm going to be trying to trace the leaks back to their source," Ria said, rising from her chair.
"Yes, that is understandable. I will give you access," the executive said hesitantly, glancing between Ria and her team as he spoke.
"I'll also need you to keep in contact. Inform me of anything else that happens," Ria said, extending a hand across the ExoGeni CEO's desk.
"I understand. Again, thank you, thank you," Wethern said, his voice cracking as he extended a hand. As she took it, it seemed to Ria like a great weight had lifted from the man's shoulders, his posture less slumped and face less lined with worry than it had been.
After they'd exchanged a few more polite words, Wethern reassuring her that we would provide every bit information that he or his people knew, Ria took her leave. With her team in tow, Ria quickly made her way out of the building. No one spoke until they were outside, her friends appearing to be as lost in thought as she was pondering all that had been said.
"So, what do you think about all that?" Tarran asked descended the stairs towards the street.
"I'm not sure yet …" Ria said, trailing off as her words became lost in her jumbled thoughts. Coming to a stop at the bottom step, she turned to face her friends. The midday sun was now fully in the sky, reflecting a white gleam on the smooth glass of the building behind. Sighing, Ria continued. "I guess we look into ExoGeni's competitors, figure out if they are involved, I wouldn't put it past any of them. If that doesn't pan out, then look into those deaths, see if the police have any records that can tell us more."
"You think Wethern was telling the truth?" Laura asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Don't know," Ria replied, chewing on her lower lip. "I don't think Wethern was lying. You saw the way he acted. He was afraid."
"I picked up on that too," Tarran agreed, glowering. "It's not impossible to fake fear like that, but it's hard to. Doesn't mean he isn't lying, just less likely."
Frowning, Laura slowly nodded, accepting that explanation. "I'm probably just being paranoid, but something feels a bit … off, about what he told us. Can't for the life of me put my finger on what though …. Still, I'll follow your lead on this one, as always."
Dipping her chin in thanks,Ria turned away to gaze over the sunlit city before them. The day's warmth gave way to a sudden chill that cut Ria to the very bone. Looking up, it seemed to her that the sun's light had become a cold gleam, far removed from the world.
Ria shivered as a sudden gust of wind rushed from the east. Turning, she saw dark storm clouds forming on the horizon that had only hours before been awash with golden light. In distance could be heard the distant peals of thunder heralding an oncoming storm.
_So much for a simple mission._
* * *
**Author's Node: **Well, this chapter took far too long to write. I had to make so many changes on this one, with the original draft being "exposition dump, the chapter". After much work and toil from my beta readers and some other author's I know down on Aria's Afterlife, I eventually got this into a less tedious form. So yeah, shout out goes to them :D
Anyhow, next chapter will probably be out in two weeks, though the next two will be one week apart from one another (since I am splitting what was originally going to be one really long chapter into two smaller ones.)
Anyhow, enough rambling here. As always, please leave a review, since I would greatly appreciate any comments, criticism, and suggestions you may have. Only way I can improve as a writer is with your feedback after all, and its nice to see people enjoying the story besides.
4. Chapter 4: Chase
_8/24/2211, Three days before present._
Ria shifted in her seat, trying in vain to sit comfortably. Her muscles ached with pent up tension, drawn out like a bowstring about to snap. It felt as though every nerve was on fire, laid bare by her constant companions, frustration and paranoia.
Grinding her teeth, Ria forced her gaze out to the buildings blurring past the taxi's windows. Night had fallen, plunging the city into a brilliant, ethereal world of neon light.
"Ria, you need to relax. Getting frustrated isn't going to help any," Tarran replied. His eyes regarded her over the back of his seat, concern piercing her from their deep blue depths
"How can I help it? For almost two weeks we've scoured this hell hole, and for what?" she snapped. Her muscles burning with redoubled tension, frustration spilling over. "The only progress we made was tracing the transactions to Synthetic Insights just to find the same fraudulent transfers, dataleaks and murders going on there!"
Ria realized she'd leaned forward more with each word and thumped back into her seat. Defeat and shame hung heavy around her neck. She was a Spectre, supposed to be one of the galaxy's best operatives
With the lead to Synthetic Insights turning up dry, they'd turned their attention to investigating the murdered ExoGeni employees. That by all rights should have yielded something, least of all more than the completed lack of evidence that faced the.
"I still can't believe so many people murdered and leave no evidence," Laura grumbled, as if reading Ria's thoughts
"Yeah," Tarran agreed. "You'd think with there being witnesses for five of the murders, something would turn up. Security footage, something really."
Ria opened her mouth to reply, her every instinct screaming for her to shout at them for telling her things she already damn well knew. Before she could, understanding dawned on her. Of course they knew she didn't need to be told any of this, they were just trying to puzzle over the information they had father gathered. _They're probably trying to get me to focus on what progress had been made, no matter how small, instead of dwelling on what how much we don't know._
"To be fair they did give us something at least. Descriptions of black garbed assassins, with helmets shaped like skulls. Materializing out of the shadows to cut down their victim before vanishing without a trace." Ria shook her head.
"Not to mention the two occasion were these assassins were caught. Sure, they committed suicide before they could be questioned, but least now we know they are insane fanatics," Laura said.
"_Are_there sane ones?" Tarran asked, smirking. "Anyways, don't forgot all the new questions that raised. The background checks identified both as minor criminals. Neither of them should have been hired for assassination. Not to mention that common thugs aren't loyal enough to commit suicide instead of selling out their employer."
"Neither does it explain the reports of both men showing skill beyond what they ought to have," Ria added. She sighed, cradling her throbbing head in her hands. "I just hope this ExoGeni employee was telling the truth when he contacted us. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take," she said out loud, voicing her own concerns.
"Honestly, Ria? I hope we find something too. I know the stress has been hitting you harder than the rest of us, but we want to see the end of this as much as you do," Tarran replied, his mandibles spreading in a reassuring grin.
Reaching their destination, the taxi's doors slid aside with a mechanical _clank. _Stepping out onto the empty walkway, Ria faced the apartment building where her Exogeni contact, Paulsen, asked her to meet. The complex was moderately upscale, typical of the city's upper-middle class; with wide windows and a clear view of the city around.
"So, are we _sure _this isn't going to be a trap?" Laura asked as she and Tarran exited the taxi a moment later. "You haven't made it clear yet, and I'm really getting sick of those."
"Oh come on Alenko, what are you, chicken?" Tarran teased, sounding surprisingly upbeat.
"Tarran, do you even know what a chicken is?" Laura asked, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, you _did_get the saying right.
"Umm, its a bird on earth that humans eat, right? All I know for sure is that everything apparently tastes like it." Tarran shrugged.
"Congratulations, you've officially earned your honorary human status. We'll be sure to mail you the certificate soon," Laura said.
"Great, just six more to go and, I have the whole set for every council species," Tarran noted. The corner of Ria's mouth quirked at the dryness of his tone.
"All right, enough you two," Ria said. She headed for the building's main door. Tarran and Laura fell in behind still whispering quiet snipes back and forth.
Reaching the front doors, Ria reached out to activate the door, catching the reflection of a dark figure in the glass. She spun, opening her mouth to shout, to warn to her friends … but the shadowy silhouette had vanished.
"Ria?" Tarran asked, the turian's concerned tone snapped her back to reality.
Taking a couple of steps toward the spot, she stared into the darkness, seeing nothing, Ria released her pent up breath.
"Yeah? Sorry I saw… its not important, just imagining things," Ria answered, careful to keep her voice calm. It could have just been her imagination, but after everything that's happened she was convinced now that someone was following them.
_Either way, we don't have time to check it out now. Less so, if there really was someone here. They may try to silence our contact before he can speak to us_.
Taking an elevator up to the twenty second floor, it took only a moment for Ria to find the room mentioned in the extranet message the ExoGeni employee had sent her. Stepping up to the door, Ria knocked on the door several times.
A minute passed in silence. Just as she began to think no one was there, Ria heard soft footsteps on the other side. A vid screen flickered to life, on a control panel next to the door, displaying the deathly pale face on the other side.
"Spectre Shepard?" The man asked, his tone nervous.
"Yes. I take it you're Mr. Paulsen?" Ria nodded cautiously, unsure what to expect.
Slowly the door opened, revealing a ragged looking man with a gaunt face and large bags under his eyes. His eyes darted around. He leaned forward, peering down the hallway to either side before beckoning them inside. "Thank god. I wasn't sure you'd come. Quickly, its not safe."
Following the man inside, Ria took a seat on the corner of a couch, Tarran sitting down next to her and Laura on a chair facing the door. Closing and bolting the door shut behind them, Paulsen pulled up a chair across from them, taking a seat.
"Alright, start at the beginning. What do you know that can help us?" Ria asked.
"I work in systems management, and was one of the people Mr Wethern had trying to trace whoever was breaking into our systems," Paulsen began, his voice low. "As far as I know, I'm the only one from the project left alive."
"I've been investigating those deaths. I remember your name coming up in the list of, well, potential targets," Ria said as diplomatically as she could.
"Yes, but you don't understand. That's exactly why I needed to talk to you. Mr Wethern, he... he's been having you follow loose ends, trying to keep you busy."
"What?" Ria asked, the words escaping in a whisper of breath.
"Look, there isn't much time. I know how you were given access to our systems, how you found the connection to Synthetic Insights," the ExoGeni employee continued, speaking quickly. "The thing is, we had already traced it back to them weeks ago and figured out it was just a front."
"So Wethern was hiding something, damn." Tarran's mandibles tightening in the turian equivalent of a frown.
"Why didn't anyone tell us this sooner?" Ria asked. An icy pit forming in her stomach, filling her with an empty void of feeling. _Why had she trusted him_?
"We were afraid … Wethern came to us suddenly a few days before you arrived, order us to stop our investigation and destroy any records of what we'd found so far. Said it was the only way we'd be safe. We knew about all the others, so we listened." Paulsen replied, shuddering. "Then after you spoke to him, he instructed us to keep up appearances, make it seem like we'd found nothing."
_That usl'sa yze tabb, he played me. Played us. I believed every damned word_, Ria cursed inwardly, seething anger flooding through her. Why had she taken everything Wethern had said at face value? She should have taken a closer look into ExoGeni itself.
"T-There's something else you need to know," Paulsen continued, growing more openly terrified with each word. "Yesterday, Wethern ordered me to download everything we had on record for Project Winter onto an OSD and had it sent to him. I think he plans to give it to… to them, the people who're behind all this. It was after this that I contacted you. I couldn't let this keep happening, no matter what … what happens to me."
"What did you have on Project Winter?" Ria snapped, her tone coming out more forceful than she'd intended.
"There wasn't much, honestly. Most of the project is conducted at another site, so we had few detailed records here. Mainly its just records on the location of—"
A red dot fell onto Paulsen's shirt, blinking like a burning ember in the dim light. Eyes snapping wide, Ria started to give a shout of warning, lunging forward to pull the man down into cover.
An crack light distant thunder sounded, followed by the shattering of glass. Paulsen's mouth opened in a silent scream as he fell back, a fountain of crimson gore flowering from his chest. Droplets of blood splattered against Ria's visor, unable to do anything as she watched the ExoGeni employee's limp form strike the floor with a dull _thump_.
Ria whirled around in the direction that shot had come. She caught a glimpse of a silhouette standing on the rooftop opposite of them, a sniper rifle glinting in the full moon's light. A single goal over road every other though: catch the assassin before he can escape.
Ignoring the surprised shouts from Tarran and Laura urging her to wait, she burst out onto the balcony. She saw the assassin making his way across the rooftops parallel to her, bounding between the gaps heedless of the thousand foot drop below.
Scanning the area, Ria saw that only a few feet separated the balcony and its neighbors. With a second's hesitation, she leaped over empty space onto the next platform. Staggering to keep her footing, she righted herself.
Ahead she saw that the balconies came to a sudden end, with no clear handhold visible on the next building. Sliding to a stop, it took less than a second to spy a neon sign about twenty feet down running between buildings.
As she watched, the assassin leaped from a rooftop, coming out into a roll on the building connected to the sign before sprinting away across its surface. It was now or never; if she didn't move now she'd lose him for sure.
Squeezing her eyes shut, Ria leapt out into open space. Her stomach lurched as she reached the apex of her flight, eyes snapping open as she began to fall.
Reaching out, she managed to seize hold of the tangled mess of cables. A crystalline sound accompanied the shattering of neon lights, panels giving way under her weight. Panic seized as she began to fall, sparks flying all around her as her momentum carried her down the sign's side. Frantically she scrambled for a handhold, for something, anything, to halt her descent. At the last second her fingers found a hold, coming to a sudden halt as they caught a small lip at the sign's bottom edge.
Dangling over the rush of skycars darting below her feet, Ria's head swam as a wave a vertigo washed over here. Shaking her head, she grabbed for a dangling cable, wrapping it around her hand as she began clambering up the ruined sign.
Yanking herself up onto the top, Ria hurried across the narrow beam stretching across the busy street. Jumping down onto the rooftop, Ria spotted a dark shape moving for the opposite edge. A sniper rifle glinted in the pale light. She drew her pistol and opened fire. Rounds lit up the night like embers as the assassin dropped over the edge.
_Det kazuat_. At the roof's edge the building flared out at a steep angle. Looking down, she saw the shooter reach the edge of the slope. His momentum carried him over the gap between buildings, landing with a roll on a walkway some fifteen feet below.
Jumping after him, Ria dropped down onto the slope, sliding down its side. _Please make it. Please make it. Please make it._
Picking up speed she was launched into open space, tumbling as she landed on the walkway. Dazed, she scrambled to her feet. Staggering into a run, she chased after the assassin shoving his way through crowds of gawking people.
"Go! Out of my way!" Ria shouted. Her fingers leapt to her holstered pistol, yanking it free. She shot up in the air, three sharp _cracks_ringing out. Screams echoed in the night as the crowds scattered away from her.
Gaining now, Ria saw that her quarry had managed to reach the end of the walkway, making for a docking platform separated by only a couple feet.
Ria threw everything into one final sprint just as the assassin bounded off the edge. She gave a shout as she reached the end, leaping after her quarry.
Ria tackled him in mid air, the impact sending them both slamming onto the platform on the other side. Thrown away from one another in the landing, Ria tumbled across the ground. Her pistol got caught, tearing it from her grasp.
Gasping for air, Ria rolled to her feet.
As quick as her recovery was, her foe acted first, slamming into her. Ria staggered, barely getting her arms up to shield herself before her foe threw himself against her again. He bore down on her as she fell, pressing the advantage gained through his greater strength and stature.
Drawing back, Ria kicked with both legs just as the assassin fell upon her. While quarians lacked much of the physical toughness of humans, their legs were far stronger than the silly straight ones human's balanced themselves on. There was a crunch as a rib cracked, air escaping the black-garbed man's lungs as he was thrown back.
Scrambling to her feet, Ria drew her combat knife, cursing herself for not having brought any other weapons from the ship.
Her opponent drew a knife of his own as he stood, its edge glowing white in the dim light as he squared off against her.
Ria didn't wait for him to make the first move, flipping her knife around and threw it at her foe. The tip buried itself into a gap in the assassin's armor just as he lunged.
Ria dodged, letting the man stumble past. Activating her omni-blade, she countered, only for her foe to parry. Trading blows, Ria found herself on the defensive, unable to overpower her opponent. Once strike grazed her armored forearm, the blaze sizzling as it left a blackened mark. Smoke curled from the plate's deformed surface, knife's intense heat melting the spot it came in contact with. _That shouldn't be possible, something that hot shouldn't still be hard enough survive contact with an omni-blade. _
A glint of metal caught her eye, coming from a spot a few feet away. She rolled, moving under an incoming slash, seizing her pistol from the floor. Whirling she opened fire, the assassin's shields buckling. The next struck the man in the shoulder, Ria lowering her aim on the fifth to hit him in the leg. With a hiss of pain the man fell to the ground, clutching at the blood seeping from his thigh.
Rushing forward, Ria shoved her pistol against his forehead, her words coming out harsh as she demanded, "Talk and I'll consider letting you live. Who do you work for? What are you after?"
The man made no sound other than to hiss in pain through clenched teeth.
"Answer me, what do you—" Ria started to shout again. The assassin suddenly moved, his hand seizing her's and forcing her finger to squeeze her pistol's trigger.
A bang echoed over the rooftop as the assassin went limply, blood pooling out from under him.
Staggering back, Ria fell. Her hand that still clutched her gun shook as she stared a dead body, in shock over what had just occurred. She'd killed many times before, so many times before. She'd grown use to it. But this … witnessing someone take their own life….
Ria shut her eyes, letting her weapon slip from her trembling fingers.
It was then that she became aware of voices shouting over her comms, their frantic tone snapping her back to reality.
"_Ria, come in. What happened, are you alright? Answer."_
"Tarran?" Ria replied, her voice hoarse.
An audible sigh of relief could be heard through the comms a moment before the turian's voice spoke again. "_Glad you're okay. Why weren't you answering? Laura and I have been trying to raise you on your comms since you ran off."_
Ria blinked, surprised by this. "I must have been too focused on catching him, I didn't even register it until now."
"_Dammit Ria, if you're going to do something stupid you could at least give me and Laura a chance to join in. What happened, did he get away?"_
"He's dead," Ria answered. "I managed to injure him, but he killed himself before I could question him."
"_Just like in all of the murders. Dammit,"_Tarran said, finishing the thought for her.
"What happened on your end. Did Paulsen— " Ria asked.
"_No, he was dead before he even hit the ground. Was quick at least, so there are worse ways to go."_
"Small comfort." Ria staggered to her feet, bending down to pick up her pistol.
"_Where are you at? Laura found us a cab, so we can pick you up."_
Ria looked around, searching for anything that would indicate her location. "I'm… not exactly sure. I wasn't paying much attention to where I was going. I can't have gone more than a few blocks. Give me a second, I'll send you my coordinates."
"_Alright. After that, where to?"_
"The Invisible. If what Paulsen said was true, then things are worse than we thought. I need to speak with the Council."
5. Chapter 5: Confrontation
_8/24/2211, Three days before present._
Ria paced the comms room, her feet practically cutting grooves into the floor. Time crawled by at a snail's pace, a few minutes seeming to stretch out into hours.
Finally the QEC flared to life, holographic emitters blinking rapidly as the shapes of two figures took form. As the images resolved, she saw that only the salarian and asari councilors were present, not an unexpected occurrence. Due to the larger size of the new council established after the war, it was rare for all to be in the same place except during full sessions.
"Councilors," Ria greeted, coming to a stop before the shimmering images.
"Spectre Shepard." The asari representative nodded in kind. Despite having had a year to get use to the idea, it still felt almost surreal Ria to hear herself be referred to as "Spectre Shepard."
"If we can move to the matter at hand, you contacted us saying that you've uncovered something that vastly changes the nature of your mission, correct?" the salarian councilor asked, cutting right to the issue.
"It is," Ria answered. She suddenly felt very small, like she was a child again, about to be scolded for some misbehavior.
"In that case, explain to us what you found. From the beginning." Her tone was calm, but there was a trace of impatience underneath."
It took several minutes for Ria to explain everything she had learned regarding the ExoGeni CEO's true actions over the past month. Her face flushed with shame as she was then forced to explain how she'd been tricked to spend two weeks chasing false leads. How she wished to omit any mention of her failure, but she knew that lying now would only make things worse. Not with how many strings the council held over her Spectre status.
"And that was all you managed to get from him?" the salarian asked when she'd finished, gazing at her intently with his large, black eyes.
"Yes, before he could tell me more, an assassin killed him. It was a sniper placed on a building across from us, there wasn't any warning until it was too late," Ria shook her head. "I managed to chase the perpetrator down, but he killed himself before I could question him."
A minute passed in silent as no one spoke, the expressions of both councilors almost pensive as they exchanged doubtful glances.
"These tidings are most troubling," the asari representative said at last, her tone grave. "We'd known that this was a possibility, but we'd hoped it otherwise. If someone so high in ExoGeni's command, like Executive Wethern, has allied himself with the group behind these attacks, then who knows what information they have been fed regarding Project Winter?"
"Have you gotten any closer to identifying those responsible?" the salarian asked once the asari had finished speaking.
"No, Councilor," Ria replied. Having to admit she was no closer than before only stung at her pride more.
"Your top priority now is to confirm what this Paulsen told you, and determine what information Executive Wethern has managed to feed to our foes," the salarian, his tone stern now. "After that you must find who is responsible."
Ria nodded. "Understood. I'll take my team to the ExoGeni headquarters as soon as possible. I'll get Wethern to talk, and hopefully—"
"No, not yet," the asari interrupted. "If my fellow councilor agrees, I believe you should wait on making any action for the time being. I propose we send another Spectre to aid you in the continuation of your mission. Once he arrives, the two of you will confront Executive Wethern before moving on to discovering the identity of our enemies."
"What?" Ria exclaimed, shocked by the asari's proposal. "I'm just supposed to wait here until someone else shows up to handle it for me? What, you don't think I can do this myself?"
"Spectre Shepard, calm yourself," the salarian councilor cut in, silencing her protest. "Councilor Tevos is correct, the situation has moved too far beyond the scope of what your were assigned to deal with."
"I assure you, we do not make this decision due to any shortcoming on your part. We respect your abilities, but you are still too … inexperienced, for us to leave a matter this serious up to you alone. As has been said, the mission before you is no longer the simple matter you were initially assigned to resolve."
_And I've been taking far too for your liking. You want this dealt with quickly, so you can just return to regular business like nothing happened_, Ria thought venomously. Not for the first time she was thankful that her mask hid her scowl from view. "Until then, what am I supposed to do? Sit around for what? Days? Weeks?"
"We appreciate your desire for haste in this matter, but we have made up our minds. Rest assured we will ensure that your backup will be sent within two days, three at the most," the salarian said, his voice carrying a silent threat warning her against stepping out of line. "Is that understood?"
"Yes …" Ria said, relenting.
"Good, in that case I believe this meeting can be brought to a close." The asari nodded, reaching out to tap an unseen console before her.
"Wait!" Ria called out, the councilors halting at her words. "If this is how things are going to be dealt with, can you set up the meeting place somewhere in the city? Someone random, keep it quiet"
"We will consider your request," the asari said after brief pause. With that she ended the transmission, the room growing dark in the absence of the holograms.
Leaning forward, Ria gripped the railing encircling the QEC, her breathing coming in hissed through clenched teeth. They weren't even giving her a chance. She screwed up and they weren't even giving her a chance to fix it. They had all but told her she'd failed, that she wasn't good enough to be a Spectre.
_Who's to say they aren't right? _An empty pang of shame rippled through her chest, any sense of pride or shattering like a thin pane of glass. _You're no Spectre, you're a fool, believing that a damn title could make a difference. If Dad was here instead of me, he wouldn't have failed like I did. He would have only needed days, not the weeks you spent chasing false leads. _
For several moments Ria didn't budge from the spot. It wasn't sadness or anger that she felt then, but emptiness. Cold, obliterating emptiness. Slowly, she turned away, staggering towards the exit. The door opened with a hiss, letting her out into the hallway
"Council sidelining you, huh?" a voice asked the instant she stepped into the hall.
Startled, Ria whirled around, finding Daron leaning against a bulkhead just to the side of the door. "How did you— How do you know that?"
"Was listening in on the whole thing." The mercenary shrugged.
"Yeah, huh. The comms room is soundproofed, so you couldn't have heard from out here. You have the room bugged or something?" A sudden flush of frustration reignited in her. She crossed her arms, giving the mercenary a flat stare. Why couldn't he just give her a straight answer, dammit?
"Core gave me access to his monitoring equipment in the room," Daron answered, shrugging again.
"Core?" Ria asked, glancing upwards.
"_He asked,"_ The geth replied, as if that was the only explanation he needed for his actions.
"Remind me to talk to you about that later." Ria sighed, the sound almost a growl as it came through clenched teeth.
"_Acknowledged."_
"So, you going to just listen to them?" Daron asked, watching her carefully as if waiting to see how she'd respond to his question. "You know waiting for backup is a mistake. We can deal with Wethern now, before more people die."
Ria said nothing, the mercenary's words seeming the echo again and again within her mind. Had she given up too easily? Had the blow to her ego been the only thing she'd cared about?
She squeezed her eyes shut as she again saw Paulsen fall in a spray of blood, the horrible look of surprise and fear on his face as he died burned into her mind. _Another dead, another I couldn't save. _She shivered, desperately trying to escape the scene playing out again and before her. More would join him if she didn't try, didn't act. How was she supposed to just wait and do nothing then? Not even try, damn the consequences.
Ria's eyes narrowed, an ember kindling in the core of her being, a flame that grew with each breath. "You're right, I'm not about the site aside and let more people get hurt. Besides, I don't enjoy being manipulated. That bosh'tet has made it personal."
Smiling, Daron nodded, turning away to go retrieve his gear.
"Core, tell Laura and Tarran to suit up and meet me in the cargo bay. Its time we've payed ExoGeni headquarters another visit."
**. . . . .**
For most of the ride no one spoke, the faint hum of the skycar's engine all that could be heard. Ria watched the city zoom by through a window. The seething anger that had been building all evening now threatened to spill over. For two weeks she'd done nothing but waste time.
"He'll regret screwing with us. That _det kazuat_ will regret all of it," she hissed, the words coming like the faint whisper of wind before the oncoming of a storm.
"Ria? You alright?" Laura asked, having been close enough to hear her.
"_Loiriz ni'lna_," Ria hissed in her native tongue, before repeating the statement so the human woman could understand. "Of course I'm not. Why do you even care, you were right about not trusting him. Isn't this where you say 'I told you so,' right?"
"Ria, I may be a bitch sometimes, but I'd never do that," Laura replied gently. "Look, Wethern's a scumbag, and we're right here with you in wanting some payback. But getting angry now won't do any good."
"Yeah, save it for when we catch the bastard," Tarran agreed, glancing back over his shoulder from the driver's seat. "Right now, we need our leader focused."
Closing her eyes, Ria's hands trembled against her lap as she fought to calm herslef. The feeling of anger dug its claws deeper into her even as she attempted to shake free from it. It would be so easy, so enticing just to let control slip away and surrender to the euphoric haze of rage. Calm… staying calm was so much more difficult.
With an effort she forced her breathing to fall into a slow, steady rhythm, Her hand stopped trembling. She sighed, gazing at the floor. "I'm sorry, it's just …. "
"You've got no reason to apologize. I don't think I'd be handling it any better if I were you. Worse, probably." Laura nodded. "Lets just kick some ass."
Pulling up outside the ExoGeni headquarters, they got out, a chorus of clicks and beeps filling the air as weapons uncollapsed. The building loomed before them as a dark silhouette, still and quiet in the dead of night.
"Alright, here's the plan," Ria said, keeping her voice low. "We need to move quickly, hopefully catching Wethern by surprise. If he's here, we keep him alive for questioning if at all possible. If he's not here, then we search the place, find what we can before tracking him down. We're not going in guns blazing, we only shoot if someone shoots at us first, got it?"
They all nodded, signaling that they'd understood.
"Right, let's go," Ria said.
Ascending the stairs, Ria motioned Tarran and Laura to take up positions to either side of the door. Activating her omni-tool, it only took her a minute to unlock the front doors without tripping any alarms. Standing, Ria spoke again. "We move in on three. One. Two. Three!"
Smooth and quick they darted inside, her team immediately fanning out to cover all sides of the room beyond. The reception area was dark, the only source of illumination coming from the city lights streaming through the windows behind them.
A chill crawled down her spine, the room seeming to drop ten degrees in an instant. The world seemed to have frozen still, so empty and quiet was the reception area. A thousand alarms seemed to go off in her head, something wasn't right.
Holding up an open hand, Ria signaled for her team to slow. They crept forward cautiously now, even the softest of footsteps echoing against the tile floors.
Sudden gunfire pierced the darkness. Ria rolled to one side as rounds pinged off her shield, coming out into a crouch behind cover. Bringing her weapon up, she fired back, a burst catching one of the attackers in the throat. He fell, blood streaming from his ruined neck.
In an instant, the rest of her team sprung into action. A well-placed shot a human's head head explodedfrom one of their foes. Laura's assault rifle barked a response, and a turian fell, dying. Blue light flared, and two more slammed into the back wall, the sound like a bundle of sticks breaking.
Whirling to her left, Ria took aim at the final enemy. A burst spun the man around as it slammed into his shoulder, before an instant later the second tore through his heart. He fell silently, dead before he even hit the ground.
The last echoes of gunfire faded away, the world plunging into utter silence once more. Slowly Ria let her gun lower, her chest feeling tight due to rapid beating of her own heart. The adrenaline fueled shock dissipated, the laser clarity of her senses returning to the more mundane perception of the waking world
Her body still tense, Ria slowly stepped forward to examine the bodies of her vanquished foes. Their green armor emblazoned with the ExoGeni logo marked them as just the building's security guards. Of the dead,Ria recognized the first man she'd killed as the gray haired guard that had accosted her on her first visit to the building.
_Were they part of what was going on? Did they even know? _Ria thought to herself, feeling a sudden pang guilt as she gazed upon the dead. Their cold lifeless eyes gazed back at her, as if passing judgment on her actions. _They probably were just following orders, doing their job._
"They were waiting for us. No way they responded to an alarm this quick," Tarran noted, his mandibles tightening in the turian equivalent of a frown.
"Probably saw us arrive on security cameras outside," Laura agreed. "Means they were expecting us. They must be desperate though, sending security guards to stop us"
"Doesn't mean everything they throw at us will be this easy," Ria said, burying her guilt away as deep as she could. "Stay sharp, we can't get over confident now."
Heading through the unmanned security checkpoint in the next room, the four quickly made their way to the elevator at the end of the hallway. Stepping inside, Ria hit the key that would take them to the top of the building. The elevator climbed up without a hitch until the one-hundred-and-seventh floor, the lift grinding to a halt with a sudden, violent lurch.
"Dammit, they must have shut down the elevator," Laura said, cursing under her breath.
"Your grasp of the obvious is always inspiring," Tarran countered dryly.
"Can it, you two, don't make me go back there," Ria cut in. Activating her omni-tool, she stepped up to the control panel. "Hold on, I'll try to get this thing—"
Before she could finish, Daron stepped toward, blowing the elevator's doors from their frame with a burst of biotic power.
"Or that works too." Ria shook her head. Climbing out onto the floor they'd stopped at, she looked around. They were in what appeared to be an average-looking office space, with dozens of desks in neat rows
Holding up her hand, Ria motioned for her team to advance slowly into the darkened room. Lights from passing skycars sent distorted shadows shifting across the walls. The utter silence was almost deafening, pressing down on time like an oppressive force.
"I knew you'd come Spectre, that you couldn't leave well enough alone."
Ria jumped as a voice cut through the darkness, blaring out from overhead speakers.
"Show yourself, Wethern, you coward." Her voice came as a raw shout, anger burning in her throat at the executive's voice. The calm she'd struggled to maintain began crack around her. It was only by a tenuous grip that she managed to catch herself from slipping into the hungry maw of rage.
_He'll pay, the bosh'tet will pay. Pay for lying to me, for tricking us. For letting more die to save his own skin. He'll pay. He'll pay._
"They said this would happen. I tried not to listen, but I knew they were right. The whispers knew you'd try to kill me, kill us," the executive continued, a laugh laced with hysteria filling the channel. "They knew, they knew. I can't let you find me, can't let you take me."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Ria demanded.
"I was ready, I prepared just like was asked. Only way to escape," he continued, not seeming to hear her. A chorus of beeping suddenly filled the air, dozens of blinking red lights shining out from the darkness. _Explosive charges_.
"Die!" Wethern's voice cried out with an insane laugh.
Daron leapt into the middle of Ria and her teammates, a shimmering wall of blue light encircling them just as the world exploded around them. Glass broke as the blast blew out windows, desks and chairs shattering into jagged fragments that slammed into the biotic shield.
The lights came on as all at once, gunfire cutting through the smoke and falling debris. More of the building's security guards had burst out from a door at the far side of the room.
Daron's barrier flickered and died, the mercenary falling to one knee as he gasped for air.
Stepping in front of him, Ria returned fire, dropping one of the guards with two rapid bursts. To her left, Laura took cover behind a ruined carcass of one of the desks, firing her rifle full auto to cover the others. Tarran yanked two grenades from his belt, flinging them into the far end of the room. Two explosions tore through the enemy ranks, everything falling still as three shredded bodies tumbled to the floor.
Lowering her rifle, Ria turned and extended her hand to Daron, helping him up. "Thanks, we owe you."
"It's nothing," the biotic replied between gasping breaths. "Just took a lot out of me. Need to catch my breath."
Nodding, Ria took a step back, giving Daron some space while collected himself. At once a feeling of impatience began to gnaw at her, a shrill voice in the back of her skull shouting at her for wasting time.
She ignored it, using every ounce of self control to stay still. Daron saved all their lives, and even if he hadn't he _was_ part of her team. She owed him. Giving him a minute to breath was the least she could do.
After a minute Daron's breathing at returned to normal, the mercenary signaling with a nod that he was ready to continue. Stepping over the dead bodies at the far end of the room, they passed through the doorway their foe's hand entered from. Inside was a large stairwell that loomed up above them in an endless spiral.
"Right, only about sixity more floors to go. This is definitely going to be fun." Laura groaned, thick sarcasm dripping from her voice.
Not bothering to argue, Ria started up the steps. Minutes later they came out onto the hundred-sixty-first floor.
"Why … did … it have … to be … stairs?" Tarran panted, leaning against a wall.
"Screw everything else Wethern's done … I just want … to … to kill him for shutting down … the damn elevator," Laura agreed between gasping breaths. "Probably shouldn't have run up them though."
"Come on … we have to … hurry," Ria said, hunching over as she caught her breath. Despite her own words, it took a minute before they were all ready to continue.
Like the rest of the building the top floor was deserted. Crossing the room, Ria leaned in close to the door leading to Wethern's office, boosting her helmet's audio feed. Faint voices could be heard beyond the doors, but what was said she couldn't make out.
"Daron?" Ria asked in way of invitation, stepping aside to give the mercenary a clear path to the door.
Grunting in acknowledgment, Daron drew a hand back, azure light swirling around him. With a shout he threw the full force of his biotic power against the wooden frame. The door shattered, sending its splintered pieces strewn across the floor.
Charging inside, Ria's gaze fell on Executive Wethern. A look of shock was frozen on the executives face, for all appearances turned to stone. The two security guards standing to either side went for their guns, only to be gunned down by Laura and Tarran as they fanned out to either side.
Giving a startled cry, Wethern leapt out of his chair. He reached under his desk, drawing pulling a loaded pistol.
Snapping her arm up, Ria fired. The shot caught Wethern in the wrist just as he took aim. The gun tumbled from his grasp, Wethern howling in pain as he clutched at his bloodied limb
"Nice try, but you're not going anywhere," Ria said, advancing on him. "Laura, Daron, block the door. Tarran, weapons on him, shoot to incapacitate if he tries anything.
Wethern staggered back, his eyes wide with shock, "I can't let you, they say I can't let you," he babbled.
Crossing the room toward him, Ria stepped around the executive's desk, gripping its back edge as she passed. She heaved, tipping it over onto its side with a solid crash, spilling its contents onto the floor.
She regarded the mess for a moment before turning back to the cowering executive. She lunged, grabbing him by the collar. A spiderweb of cracks formed in the wide glass window as she shoved him against it, pinning him against it. With her free hand she pressed her rifle into his forehead.
"Who did you give the data to? What did you tell them?" Ria demanded, the glass creaking as she pressed Wethern against it more forcefully. "If you can't tell, I'm not in the mood to be yanked around."
"The whispers gave me no choice. Had to escape, had to," the executive replied, lifting a shaking hand.
Suddenly Ria became aware of the small cylinder held in his grasp. The executive's thumb was pressed down onto the trigger, a red light on the detonator side burning like a ember. Ria's eyes went wide, her chest seizing up as her heart skipped a beep. Time seemed to slow to a crawl, each beat of her frantic pulse sounding like the echoing slow beats of a drum. She shoved herself away the pinned man, she had to move, she had to get out now.
She was all to slow, making it only a single step before Wethern released his thumb "No one can know!"
A blue haze filled Ria's vision an instant before the world exploded into a blinding flash of white light. A weightless feeling filled her as blazing heat licked at her face, then a jolt of pain in the back of her skull. Then everything went black.
**. . . . .**
The first thing she became aware of was a throbbing at the back of her skull, its pain cutting through the dull haze. Groaning, Ria opened her eyes, blinking as the world slowly returned to focus.
"Ria, you alright?" Laura asked, kneeling down next to her.
"Ugghhh, my head." Ria groaned, struggling to pick herself up off the floor. "What happened? The explosion. How am I not dead?
"Daron pulled you out of the way with his biotics. Thankfully the explosive wasn't very big in the first place, small blast radius," Laura explained, slowly helping Ria to her feet.
Ria swayed on her feet, leaning against the wall for support. "Why does my head hurt, then?"
"Daron sorta threw you into the wall on accident," Laura replied, throwing an angry glance the mercenary's way. "We're lucky _that_ didn't kill you either."
For his part, the biotic said nothing, though as he met her gaze Ria though she saw an apologetic look flash in his eyes.
Turning away, Ria's eyes fell onto the spot where she and Wethern had stood a minute before. The explosion had blown out the windows and left dark scorch marks on the floor and overturned desk. Of Wethern's body, nothing could be seen, only drops of dried blood remaining in the room.
"What's left of his body was blown out the window," Laura explained, noticing Ria's gaze.
Nodding. Ria looked away from the scene, noticing Tarran crouched next to the computer terminal laying in front of the overturned desk. "It still works?"
"The desk shielded it from blast. Who would have guessed your little display of breaking everything would have actually paid off?" Tarran said dryly, a smile briefly breaking his grim expression. Then it was gazing at the screen intently.
"Find anything?" Ria asked, limping over to him.
"Wethern wiped almost everything before we got here, not just his own computer but ExoGeni's entire server system. Doesn't look like he did a very good job though. I managed to recover this from the hard drive." Tarran moved aside, giving her full view of the screen. "Its a contract between ExoGeni and a mercenary group called the Crimson Ghosts. Not much more is here, just the time frame of employment, payment, that sort of thing. While this could be nothing, the file was listed under the directory for Project Winter."
Ria nodded slowly, reading over the file. "Anything else?"
"No, everything else was too corrupted to retrieve anything useful. Core might be able to dig out more, but I did the best I could." Tarran sighed, shaking his head.
"If nothing else, tracking down this mercenary group might give us some answers as to what ExoGeni was working on. Also, if they're connected to this, we might not be the only ones looking into them," Ria answered, turning off the computer. She removed the harddrive then stood, staring out through the shattered windows. A chill wind rushed through the office, distant sirens sounding in the night.
**. . . . .**
_8/27/2211, Present day._
"After that not much else happened. We returned to the _Invisible_ and really waited. I still had to wait for you to arrive," Ria said, concluding her story. "Core went over the data, but he couldn't recover much more than Tarran. What he did find out was that the Crimson Ghosts are based on Alkimos , a Terminus System world not far from Illium."
"I take it that's where we're heading now?" her father asked.
"Yeah," Ria answered, sighing grimly. "Whatever those people were after with ExoGeni, they got it. This is the only lead we have left. Its a long shot, but at this point … well, I don't have much of a choice."
"Makes sense to me," Shepard said, his tone gentle.
"Did I screw this whole thing up?" Ria asked, gazing up to her father.
For a moment, he said nothing, Ria beginning to fear he'd never answer. "Honestly, Ria, I can't give you that answer. No one can say if you choose right or not, not until it's all through. You did try your best through, did what you felt was right. That's worth something, no matter how this does turn out in the end.
He placed a hand on her arm, squeezing it gently. "It probably won't seem like much, but I am proud of you."
Blinking back tears forming at the corner of her eyes, Ria threw her arms around her father, pulling him into a tight embrace. "Dad, you don't know how much … how much you saying that means to me right now. Thank you."
"I'd be a pretty terrible father if I didn't believe in my daughter from time to time." A wry smirk formed at his lips as he returned her hug. "Whatever it takes, I'll help you stop the people behind this. You have my word."
"Ha, I'd like to see them try to stop us." Ria laughed, breaking from the embrace at last. She lifted her arm to wipe away her tears, only to lower it again as she remembered her mask was in the way. "One Shepard is bad enough, with two of us they might as well just give up now."
* * *
**Glossary**
**Det kazuat:** Term of curse, considered especially crude. Literal Translation: Living sack of excrement.
**Loiriz**_: _Of course
** Ni'lna: **I'm not
* * *
Author's Note: Well, we are finally done with the flashback section, and can now move onto the story proper. I hope that bit didn't drag too long, did my best to make it as quick as possible.
Thanks go out to Palaven Blues for helping out a ton in betaing this chapter.
6. Chapter 6: Crimson Fires
_8/28/2211_
"_ETA of arrival on Alkimos thirty-three minutes, seven-point-four-eight seconds,"_ Core announced over the ship's Intercoms.
"Tell the crew to meet me in communications," Ria replied, groaning as she rolled out of bed. Yawning she checked the clock at her bedside. Only four hours of rest, brilliant.
_Come to think about it, I can't even remember the last time I had a full night of sleep. _
Yawning again, she began picking up the pieces of her armor heap she'd tossed them the night before. A few moments later she strapped the last piece into place. Rolling still-sore shoulder, Ria winced as she eyed the exposed section of naked-suit, a reaction only half from the aching pain that followed the movement.
She'd discarded the ruined pauldron when she'd treated her wound the night before, leaving it behind in her haste to reach safety. Until she could procure a replacement, she would have to live with the visible gap in her armor between her arm and shoulder.
Grabbing her gear, Ria made her way quickly to the ship's comms room. A hiss of air sounded as the doors opened for her, Ria glancing around stepped inside. Blinking as her eyes adjusted to the room's brighter light, she saw that her father and most of her team were already waiting for her. They stood around the circular board-room-like table that sat in the center of the room, each of them glancing up to nod in greeting at her entrance. Of her ground team, only Daron was absent.
"Morning," Ria greeted, moving to the front of the table.
"How's your shoulder?" her father asked, the bluntness of his statement hitting jolting. He eyed the hasty repairs she'd done to the damaged section of her suit with obvious concern.
"Keelah, I'm fine Dad. You don't have to worry about me _all _the time," Ria replied, exasperation creeping into her voice.
"Actually, you'll find that I do. Clearly stated in my contract of fatherhood, 'must worry about daughter's well being at all time'," he countered.
"Section six, subsection C, right?" Tarran laughed. "Its the one my dad quotes whenever I did something idiotic."
Laura brought a hand up to cover her mouth, failing to stifle a snicker. Neither did the gesture doing little to hide the wide smirk Ria saw spreading across her face.
"Yes, yes, we get it, Alenko, I accidentally implied I'm a girl just now," Tarran added. An exasperated sigh escaped his throat. "Spirits, what are you, ten years old?"
"Give her some credit Tarran, I'dsay _both_ of you are _at least_ mentally twelve." Ria grinned behind her mask. "Core, please tell Daron to hurry up so we can get started _before_ we die gruesome, boredom induced deaths."
"_Understood. I will inform him that he is instructed to 'hurry up'."_
A few minutes later a hiss sounded as the door opened again. Ria watched as Daron entered the room and came to a stop at the room's mouth. Her eyes met his unreadable gaze for an instant, then he turned away. Moving over to an empty corner, he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the bulkhead.
The sound of slow clapping filled the air. Turning to the sound, Ria saw Tarran regarding the mercenary with a sarcastic smirk "Hooray, we can finally begin. Congratulations Daron, you win the award for keeping everyone waiting."
Daron's eyes narrowed into daggers, a hissing growl escaping his lips. warning off any other jokes.
Ria rolled her eyes. Leave it to Tarran to 'poke the bear', so to speak. _To be fair, if he's teasing him, he _actually _considers Daron part of the team. And Daron hasn't tried to kill him yet. It's progress. _Still, it was probably best to change the subject now, before either had a chance to prove her wrong. "Right, lets start this shall we?" Ria said, clasping both hands together. "Core, visual aid please."
The holographic emitters at the center of the conference table lit up, a shimmering image of their destination flaring into being. "For those who don't know, we're arriving on a world known as Alkimos. An mercenary group known as the Crimson Ghosts based here were hired by ExoGeni for some purpose related to Project Winter."
Ria paused, staring into the flickering display before she spoke again. "Core, anything you can else about this world?"
"_Alkimos is garden world at the edge of the Terminus Systems, discovered in 2189. With repairs to majority of the Mass Relay Network within Terminus Systems' not reaching completion until 2203, Alkimos saw rapid development as a resupply point for ships passing between Illium and the rest of the Terminus." _Core explained, speaking so quickly that Ria had to struggle to keep with whenever he had an opportunity to explain something, the geth sounded positively gleeful, in his own overly-logical and emotionless way.
Ria nodded. "Find anything on the Crimson Ghosts?"
"_The Crimson Ghosts are a mercenary organization formed two years following Alkimos' colonization efforts. As a direct consequence of the region's high rate of pirate activity the group started with the purpose to provide protection for ships passing through the region, provided they could afford their rates. _ _Over the course of the a decade, the group established a reputation in regards to their abilities in repelling pirate raids. Now the band's very presence has the potential to deter hostile action against the vessels under their protection. The Crimson Ghosts all but controls Alkimos, ruling from their headquarters in the world's main outpost of Ashoria."_
"Core, how much of this are you just reading from the damn codex?" Laura asked, speaking up once the geth was finished.
"_Eighty-three-point-two-seven-six percent"_
"The geth left out that the Crimson Ghosts love to raid ships not under their protection," Daron's voice cut in. All at once the room, turned to look the mercenary's way. A flash of annoyance crossed his face, clearly at the prospect of having to explain in detail. Sighing, he resumed speaking. "Did a job protecting a small transport a few years back. Couldn't afford the Crimson Ghosts' rates, so they hired me. We were hit by what we thought were pirates. Was only after I'd 'dealt' with them all that I discovered that all of them had tattoos of the Crimson Ghost's emblem ."
"Figures, these guys sound no better than the big three mercenary gangs," Shepard replied, distaste clearing in his voice. "If I don't know any better, I'd say there's a fifty-fifty chance they'll just start shooting at us the minute we land on the world."
"To be fair, that _might _have something to do with the aura you Shepards seem to give off that makes everyone you meet try to kill you," Tarran said with a dry laugh. "If following Ria is an example, it's a common problem with your family.
"Getting ourselves into trouble is a talent of ours." Ria grinned behind her mask.
"That doesn't exactly inspire confidence," Tarran said, his tone bone dry..
"Look, moving on … our main objective is to find out everything the mercs know about the job ExoGeni hired them for. From what Paulsen managed to tell us, most of Project Winter was done on a remote site. Give what Core just told us, I'd bet they were hired to protect shipments going to and from this site …."
"…Which means that they can give us its location." Her father nodded, finishing the statement for her.
"Exactly. My main concern right now is finding out what our enemies—" Ria started to say.
"Skullheads," Laura interjected, cutting Ria off.
Ria gave the human woman a questioning glance, to which she shrugged and answered "Figured it fit, because of the helmets they wore. Its that or continue with the incredibly descriptive titles of 'those guys we fought' or 'our enemies' at any rate. I mean, seriously, the detail of those, pure art."
"Alright, as I was saying, my main concern right now is that the Skullheads probably knows where the project is being worked on. One way or another we need to get there as soon as possible. Thats what we're here to do."
Ria paused, glancing between those assembled before her. When no response was forthcoming, she continued. "Right then, if that covered everything then its time to get going. I want everyone down into the cargo hold in ten, and be ready to go."
**. . . . .**
The shuttle trembled as they dropped through the clouds, turbulence rocking its metal frame. Ria seized hold of a handlebar to keep from losing her balance. "Keelah, Tarran, would it kill you to fly this thing straight for once?"
"Hey, the winds this high up aren't exactly a picnic. I'd like to see you do a better job," the turian's voice echoed back from the shuttle's helm
"Give me the controls then so I can show you how its done." Ria retorted, having to raising her voice to be heard over the sudden roar of thrusters as the shuttle accelerated.
"Can we not, actually. I'd like to actually survive long enough to get shot at by the badguys of the day," Laura interjected. "No offense Ria, but you aren't exactly the most … sane, driver, of the group," She continued, then added in an undertone, "not that it comes as a surprise, given the stories Dad always told about your dad driving …."
"Hey, I'm a good driver!" Ria shouted in unison with her father, the older Spectre speaking up then for the first time. Giving him a sidelong glance, she saw that he wore an absolutely incredulous expression, one that would have matched Ria's own, had her face not been obscured by her mask.
Laughter filled the shuttle, so absurd this reaction must have seemed to the others. Ria even thought she saw Daron crack a smirk at this, though if he had the mercenary had quickly stifled it before she could get a closer look.
"_Bosh'tets_, all of you." Ria grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. "Look like I _will_ piloting this damn thing next mission , thank you. Prove you _bosh'tets_ wrong."
"Well, it was nice knowing everyone," Laura said, her laughter abruptly ceasing.
Ria opened her mouth to retort, only to shut it again as Tarran spoke up suddenly, "Guys, as much as I'd hate to break up a rousing session of teasing our 'fearless leader', we might have bigger problems. You might want to take a look at this."
A faint hiss of static filled the shuttle as a view screen flickered into being. Ria blinked focusing intently on the image. _Ashoria_ could be seen, a mass of gray and brown against a sea of olive green of the tangled forest that surrounded. The cold morning sunlight glinted harshly against the glass of the taller structures, its glare visible even at this distance. Ria's eyes then widened as she then noticed the pillars of black smoke that rose up from within the city.
"Long range scanners are picking up strong heat signals from throughout the city. Its like entire sections of the place have been set ablaze," Tarran said.
Sure enough Ria began to see an orange haze that seemed to hang over several blocks of the city, the flickering light of distant flames growing more intense as the shuttle continued to draw in closer to the port.
"Keelah, w—what happened here," Ria heard Kel whisper, the sound of his voice barely to be heard over the hum of the shuttle's engine.
Straightening to her full height, Ria slung her rifle into a ready position in front of her. As by unspoken command, the rest of her team moved to prepare their own weapons. Within seconds they were standing to either side of her, guns trained on shuttle's exit hatch in anticipation.
With a gentle lurch the shuttle began to decelerate, gracefully dropping down towards a docking platform at the center of the colony's large port. A soft clang sounded, the shuttle's engines cutting off as it touched down.
Her team fanned out with practiced efficiency as they exited the shuttle, moving to cover all side in preparation for any imminent attack. Nothing moved within sight of them, the all-too-still port appearing for all purposes abandoned.
The silence that hung over them was broken by the muffled cracks of distant gunfire, the echo as the sound traveled through the city making it impossible to tell just how far off it was.
"Right, so what now?" Ria heard Laura hiss in a low whisper, the Marine turning to look her way expectantly.
"We move in slow, at least until we know who's responsible for all this. Eyes sharp and weapons up." Moving forward, Ria led the way as they moved towards the edge of the port. The city rose up before them as a solid wall of prefabs and makeshift buildings stacks on top one another, at least two-dozen layers or more high in some places.
Passing under the city's shadow, the flickering flames ahead became more apparent. The air grew hotter with every step, and the sharp odor of burning metal and rubber nearly overwhelmed the coppery scent of blood.
Ria froze, a crunch of a footstep in the gravel road echoing ahead. For a second nothing moved before her vision, then, without warning, five blurs of blood-red color burst into her vision. Five figures, crimson armor glinting the faint light, weapons drawn. One shouldered a long tube, a shill wail screaming out as a rocked burst from its end, white smoke trailing behind.
Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Ria watched helplessly the missile streamed towards her team. She was forzen in place, she couldn't move. She couldn't act! Stuck in the same snails crawl of the world around her.
Just then she a blur of motion could be seen out of the corner of her eye. Her father bounded into sight with impossible speed, moving as he alone has been unaffected by the halting of time itself. He slid to a stop in the the center of the rockets path, bracing himself against one knee. An omni-shield burst to life an instant the missile hit. There was a deafening boom, the force of the blast spreading to either side as it rolled off of the shimmer orange barrier
With a rush the world full into motion once once. Her reflexes took over now. She snapped her rifle up and fired. Her gun barked, the sound oddly distant, blood fountaining from the throat of the rocket launcher wielder as he fell lifelessly.
A batarian standing at the left fell as he was struck by a warp launched by Kel. The batarian screamed in agony, writhing on the floor as the warp tore him apart on the molecular level. Sprays of crimson erupted from two more of the red-garbed men as Tarran and Laura opened fire.
One of the last standing grabbed the fallen rocket launcher from the ground. Before he could an azure glow surrounded the tube, Daron pointed an open hand towards the weapon. The biotic clenched his hand into a fist, the launcher detonating in a cloud of shrapnel. The last two foes fell with two agonized screams, the rocket's ruin fragments shredding armor and bone alike. A moment later they stilled, dark pools of blood spreading out under them.
"Were those members of the Crimson Ghosts?" Kel asked, the small quarian's shoulders visibly shaking.
"Looks like it," Tarran replied, nudging one of the bodied with his foot. "Logo looks like theirs though I think the crimson armor was a giveaway."
"What worries me more is, you know, they _did_ kinda just tried to kill us. Lets not forget that," Laura said, frowning. "Either they thought we were with whoever caused all this, or …." She gestured at the black smoke rising from further into the settlement.
"… Or they're responsible," Ria finished for her. "Not sure which I like less."
"Only one way to find out," her father replied, his tone grim.
"Agreed," Ria dimmed her head in a sharp nod."Everyone, group up. We need to keep moving."
Moving back into formation, Ria led them forward into the town. The sounds of distant gunshots had died down now leaving only the sound of crackling flames. The silence grated on Ria's nerves, suddenly preferring the grim reminders of ongoing fighting and death that filled the air but minutes before.
Suddenly voices could be heard ahead. Between the crackling of distant flames and overlapping echoes, no individual words could be made out. However, it didn't take much for Ria to tell that amongst the voices were several terrified screams.
She stopped, motioning for her team to slow. Creeping towards, Ria inched around the corner of a building. In the street beyond she saw a group of a dozen Crimson Ghosts with weapons drawn on a group of terrified men and women cowering against a wall. Even as she watched two more mercenaries lead another civilian, a human girl no older than fourteen, out of one of the prefabs. The girl struggled to break free, her frightened cries filling the air as they tossed amongst the others.
Ria stifled a curse, her empty hand clenching shut. Anger threatened to take control of her, every instinct shouting, screaming for her to gun every single one of those monsters, to make each of them pay for what they'd done and for what they. Only caution held her in check then, the knowledge that they were outnumbered staying her hand. They couldn't just run in, not just for her own safety, but for the many innocents who could get caught in the crossfire.
One of the mercenary's barked an unintelligible order, pointing at one of the civilians. Two of the red clad men moved forward, dragging the turian that had been picked out. Tossing him down in the middle of the road, the captain strode forward, taking aim with his gun.
A gunshot echoed out before Ria could look away, the sight of the turian falling in a spray of blue blood burning into her eyes. The others civilians screamed, the sound cutting Ria to the bone. How dare they. How dare they, how dare they, how dare they! How dare they round up people up like cattle, execute as if they were merely animals only fit to slaughter. She had to stop this, she had to—
"Bring the next one."
Ria tightened her grip on her gun, hissing in anger she watched two mercs pulled the same teenage girl from. They shoved her forward, the girl tripped and fell, landing face first next to the patch of still-fresh blue blood. Terrified sobs filled the air, the girl's entire body shaking in fear.
The group's leader laughing cruelly, the sound stabbing like a knife at Ria's raised his gun, aiming it on the crying girl at his feet.
A heartbeat echoed like a drum in Ria's ears.
Another beat, it's sound louder.
Another beat. A red haze filled Ria's vision.
Another beat. Her body moved without command. She leapt to her feet, squeezing the trigger of her rifle.
Two gunshot filled the air, one after another. The mercenary leader's body jerked twice then fell. Blood the color of his crimson armor pooled out from under him, the man twitching once more before lying still.
A wisp of smoke curled from the tip of Ria's rifle, the weapon aimed at the spot the merc captain had stood a moment before. Glancing sideways, Ria saw that the second shot had come from her father, who likewise stood with weapon drawn. Behind her the rest of Ria's team moved, moving to stand at her flanks
Gone was any fear of being out numbers. Gone was any fear of others being caught in the crossfire. They'd all die for she if she didn't act. All that mattered was stop those monsters, stopping them, and making them pay.
"Drop your weapons, now," Shepard hissed, his voice cold as ice. "You have one chance, one damn chance before I kill every single one of you."
For several heartbeats no one moved, the remaining mercenary's starting at the enraged Spectre with looks of naked fear. Above the distant crackle of flames the girl's muffled sobs could still be heard.
"Kill hi—" one of the mercenaries started to say, his words cut short as Shepard fired a burst that took the man's head from his shoulders.
"I was hoping you'd do that," her father whispered, so quietly that even Ria had barely heard.
The scene fell into chaos, a roar of gunfire filling the air. Taking aim, Ria unloaded her clip into the two nearest mercenaries one after another, her targets falling in a spray of blood.
"Laura, Tarran, take out the three on the far right. Daron, Kel, cluster on middle left" she ordered quickly, ducking behind cover as she ejected her spent clip.
The pair opened fire, focusing down the three mercenaries once after another. Meanwhile Kel threw a warp the middle of a group of four an instant before a Daron's shockwave tore into the group. The two biotic fields intersected and detonated, the biotic explosion tossing the hapless mercenaries into the air.
An agonized screamed filled Ria's ears. Whirling in the direction of the sound, Ria looked just in time was watch her father step past the wounded mercenary trashing as it feet, not even seeming to notice the man as he unloaded his clip into the next foe. Ria watch on in stunned awe as he tore through mercenary after mercenary with ruthless efficiency, a trail of corpses left in his wake. Blood soaked the earth, a line of crimson that glimmered in the dim light like the sea under a rising sun. Slowly the gasps of dying men faded one by one, each caught in the Spectre's wrath slipping into the void.
A shiver rolled up her spy as she beheld his expression. Instead of the anger she expected she was an expression unnatural calm; just cold, empty, calm. Only his eyes betrayed his true fury, emotion, eyes that boiled with unbridled hate.
Just as quickly as the fighting had started it was over. Silence hung like a shroud, the crowd of terrified men and woman stared at Ria's team with looks of uncertainty mixed with hesitant hope, as if unsure what to think of the group that had killed their would-be executors.
At last Ria broke the stillness, turning her attention to the girl still lying in the middle of the street. Soft, choking sobs reached her ears as she approached, the sound so quiet it could barely be heard.
"You okay?" Ria extended a hand to the girl, her tone gentle.
"I— I … I don't … I think so," the girl said between sobs, looking up at Ria. Tears streamed from her large, brown eyes, a look of both fear and hope in equal measure
"Don't, you're safe now," Ria assured her, helping the girl up to her feet. She led the girl back to where the other people stood huddled. A woman with graying hair who looked like the girl's mother ran forward, pulling the girl into a tight embrace as Ria moved back to give them and the others some space
"What happened here?" Shepard asked, facing the group. He kept his hands up away from his weapons, his voice staying at a soft, gentle tone.
"I—I don't know," one of the other civilians replied, an elderly batarian with wrinkled skin. "They started going from door to door earlier today, we just thought they were after money for whatever new 'taxes' they just made up. Then they started shooting people, setting fire to buildings whenever they couldn't get in."
Ria felt her heartrate quicken, her entire body tensing as if preparing for the sudden onslaught of battle. The scent of fire and ash seemed to suddenly take on a horrid quality, an sickening order that caused her stomach to wrench. It wasn't just homes that were being destroyed, but lifes. How many had died, trapped, screamed as fires consumed them.
Ria shuttered. Forcing herself the banish the horrible images, she stepped forward to stand next to her father. "How many other people are still out there?" Ria asked. She glanced at the empty buildings around her as she spoke, wondering if these people were the only ones left.
"Not sure, but I don't think they could have killed everyone yet," the batarian replied.
"Don't worry, we'll put a stop to this," her father assured them, her stern voice carrying the unwavering confidence Ria could only wish her's possessed. "Where are they coming from, do they have a base somewhere?"
"They work out of a big building at the other side of town. It's practically a fortress. That way," one of the other civilians offered, pointing off to the east
Ria nodded. Good, she now had a destination, a goal in mind. Worrying about how many have and would die wasn't something she could easily deal with. But dealing with the problem, that was something she could do. _Heh, leave it to a Shepard to consider shooting stuff the easiest job. _
"You should make for the edge of the town, its not safe here. We've cleared the way behind us, it should be safe now," Shepard said, pointing in the direction they'd come.
"I thank you, human," the batarian said, nodding to me. Several more thanks came from the other civilians as they turned as headed back towards the edge of the settlement.
"So, least we know now who we need to shoot some more," Tarran said grimly, his mandibles tightening into a grimace. "What now?
"We need to split up our resources, moving as one group won't do us much good here," Shepard said, turning back to face Ria and the rest of her team. "We need someone focusing on getting the civilians out of the line of fire. Laura, you should take Daron and handle that, his biotics can cover large groups if need be. Tarran, go up top, find a spot with a good view of the city. We need you reporting on their movements and picking off small groups outside our reach. The rest of us will make for the merc's headquarters, where—"
"Dad," Ria interrupted, announced. She crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot as she gazed at him expectantly. Receiving only a confused look in return, Ria sighed and explained, "its my team, you know. I _am_ the one who's supposed to be leading right now."
"Oh, sorry, force of habit," her father replied, holding out the palms of his hands in mock surrender..
"Right then," Ria said, turning her attention to her team. "… so yeah, go with what he just said. Its a good plan."
This drew a collection of smirks and stiffed chuckles from her. Rolling her eyes, Ria tapped her foot, waiting the moment it too for her team to actually begin following the order's they'd been given.
Once Laura, Daron, and Tarran had split off a minute later, Ria turned back to her father and Kel. "Come on, lets move."
End file.
| fanfiction |
, we conducted a retrospective study of bilateral disc swelling in patients at kitasato university s department of neuro - ophthalmology in an attempt to identify the etiology .
using kitasato university s department of neuro - ophthalmology medical records and fundus photographs of the period december 1977 through november 2010 , we retrospectively identified 121 outpatients who had been initially confirmed with bilateral disc swelling .
this study population consisted of 54 males and 67 females with an average age of 38.2 years ( range 276 years ) .
we defined terms as follows : disc swelling was the collective term used to describe disc swelling or protrusion ; papillitis denoted optic neuritis with inflammatory findings on the optic disc such as swelling / redness or dilatation of the retinal vessels ; and papilledema indicated bilateral disc swelling with elevated intracranial pressure .
the final diagnosis was judged by ophthalmologic examinations ( including light reflex of the pupil , visual acuity , visual field , critical flicker frequency , and fundus angiography ) and intracranial examinations by magnetic resonance imaging ( mri ) , magnetic resonance venography ( mrv ) , or computed tomography ( ct ) , and consultation with the kitasato university department of neurology or department of neurosurgery .
in this study cohort , the most common etiology of bilateral disc swelling was increased intracranial pressure ( icp ) ( 59% ) ; followed by pseudopapillitis ( 16% ) ; uveitis ( 8% ) ; hypertensive retinopathy ( 5% ) ; bilateral neuritis , acute disseminated encephalomyelitis ( adem ) and optic disc drusen ( all at 2% ) ; and leukemia ( 1% ) .
unknown etiology accounted for the remaining 6% ( figure 1 ) . when examining the etiology according to patient age group ( eg , 020 years , 2150 years , and 51 years ) , increased icp was found to be the most frequently - appearing condition . in the 020 patient age group , which constituted the smallest age demographic ( 27/121 ) , increased icp and pseudopapillitis were present in the vast majority of patients presenting with bilateral disc swelling .
in the 2150 age group , which contained the majority of the patients ( 62/121 ) , an increased icp was the leading cause of bilateral disc swelling , followed by pseudopapillitis , uveitis , and hypertensive retinopathy . a larger number of etiologies were found in the 2150 group than in the 020 group .
there were 32 patients in the 51 group who exhibited similar etiologies to the 2150 group , despite the group containing around half the number of patients ( table 1 ) .
the most common etiology responsible for the increased icp ( n=72 ) was brain tumor ( 32 patients ; 44.4% ) , followed by cerebral hemorrhage , chronic subdural hematoma , cerebral venous sinus thrombosis ( cvst ) , and other cardiovascular diseases .
a form of osteodystrophy known as craniosynostosis was also observed in a few rare cases ( table 2 ) .
although characterized by the absence of intracranial space occupying lesions , idiopathic intracranial hypertension ( iih ) was also included in the intracranial event category due to its clinical feature of increased intracranial pressure .
categorization of brain tumors in the patients revealed nine metastatic brain tumors and 22 primary brain tumors .
the most common type of tumor was meningioma ( n=7 ) followed by astrocytoma ( n=5 ) , glioma ( n=3 ) , glioblastoma ( n=3 ) , acoustic neurinoma ( n=2 ) , olfactory neuroepithelioma ( n=1 ) , pineal tumor ( n=1 ) , and choroid plexus papilloma ( n=1 ) .
the tumors occurred most frequently in the frontal lobe followed by the cerebellum ( table 3 ) .
the most common primary cancer site among the nine subjects with metastatic brain tumors was lung ( n=4 ) ( table 4 ) .
although brain tumors and other forms of increased icp are mainly diagnosed by mri or ct , some conditions may involve elevated icp despite normal imaging findings . these conditions can include iih and cvst , each of which accounted for 6.9% of increased icp in our present study ( table 2 ) .
the etiology for three of these patients included a form of nephrotic syndrome , antiphospholipid syndrome and systemic lupus erythematosus .
after mri confirmed the absence of intracranial lesions , the results of lumbar puncture demonstrated that all patients had noticeably elevated cerebrospinal fluid pressure ( table 6 ) .
koyanagi harada disease , with the majority having redness and swelling of the optic nerves in both eyes as well as inflammation of the anterior chamber , macular edema , and serous retinal detachment ( table 7 ) . in terms of visual performance ,
the group of patients diagnosed with corrected distance visual acuity ( cdva ) ( 0.05 logmar [ logarithm of the minimum angle of resolution ] ) at the first consultation had pseudopapillitis , adem , optic disc drusen and leukemia , while the group with cdva ( 0.2 > logmar > 0.05 ) had increased icp and an unknown etiology .
the group with cdva ( logmar 0.2 ) had uveitis , hypertensive retinopathy , and idiopathic optic neuritis , the latter of which was characterized by significantly reduced flicker values relative to the other diseases ( table 8) .
we studied the etiology of patients initially confirmed with bilateral disc swelling . increased icp accounted for approximately 60% of the etiology while the remaining etiology was non - increased icp diseases .
although many medical texts list the etiology of bilateral disc swelling , there have been no recently published studies that have listed the percentages of each etiology recorded at hospitals and clinics .
therefore , we compared our current findings to two studies that were published in 1971 and 1984 , respectively.1,2 results of this comparison indicated that increased icp was the most common etiology observed at each study site , with optic neuritis , adem , and optic disc drusen only seen at our facility .
it is possible , however , that these other studies may have intentionally excluded optic neuritis , among other etiologies . on the other hand , anemia , lead poisoning and thyroid ophthalmology
were not observed within our department , but were seen at the other study sites ( table 9 ) .
thyroid ophthalmology appears to have been excluded from the scope of our study , as it would have initially been classified at our facility as thyroid ophthalmology or compressive optic neuropathy , rather than bilateral disc swelling .
walsh and hoyt s clinical neuro - ophthalmology3 includes a description of the frequency of onset of bilateral disc swelling in various diseases .
specifically , papilledema was observed at the following frequencies : brain tumor , 80% ; subdural hematoma , 50% ; acute cerebral abscess , seven of 26 cases ; chronic cerebral abscess , 15 of 23 cases ; subarachnoid hemorrhage , 16% or 10%24% ; meningitis , 2.5% of 2,178 cases or 12 of 530 cases ; viral encephalitis , 19% of 68 cases ; and craniostenosis , 15% of 171 cases .
intra cranial pressure was elevated in 13 of 14 cerebral arteriovenous malformation patients , but disc swelling was only observed in three . with the exception of cerebral arteriovenous malformation ( avm ) and encephalitis ,
all the diseases described above were seen in the results of the present study . in children ,
optic neuritis is typically bilateral.4,5 although our study found two adult patients with bilateral optic neuritis , the current study identified no children who presented with this condition .
however , bilateral optic neuritis occurred in 13 children admitted to our hospital for treatment between 1999 and 2010.6 this was thought to be because only subjects with bilateral disc swelling were targeted in this study , and the disease name listed for these patients from the beginning was bilateral optic neuritis . with regard to funduscopic differentiation between true optic disc edema ( disc swelling ) and pseudo optic disc edema ( pseudopapillitis ) , carta et al7 describe that peripapillary retinal folds seem to be related exclusively to optic disc edema . in our study ,
the diagnosis of pseudopapillitis was done with all normal patient indications of light reflex , visual acuity , critical frequency , and visual field .
one disease that typically involves elevated icp despite normal ct or mri findings is cvst .
thus , combining mrv with these standard imaging modalities would be useful when attempting to diagnose this condition .
mrv can be used to confirm venous filling defects because it enables clear visualization of the major intracranial veins and cranial sinus without the use of a contrast agent.8 de bruijn et al9 reported finding papilledema in 23 of 56 cvst patients ( 41% ) , with poor outcomes observed in those patients who presented with intracerebral hemorrhage or with some degree of impaired consciousness . although previous studies have asserted that behet s disease is complicated by cvst10,11 and al - fahad et al12 reported finding papilledema in eleven of 40 patients with neuro - behet s disease ( 25.7% ) , none of the cvst patients in the present study had behet s disease ( table 5 ) .
another representative disease that leads to intracranial hypertension , although general ct and mri may appear normal , is iih .
this condition is generally said to occur commonly among obese women of reproductive age,13 but has also been reported in children and individuals aged 40 years.1416 thus , caution is warranted when examining patients over a wide range of age groups .
although follow - up may prove difficult in pediatric patients due to the inability to examine cerebrospinal fluid on a regular basis , several recent studies have determined that optical coherence tomography ( oct ) may be an effective future modality for determining intracranial pressure via measurement of the retinal thickness.1719 headache has also been reported to be a frequent symptom of intracranial pressure.20 even so , a study by de simone et al21 described cases in which no headaches were present , suggesting the need for caution on the part of the diagnosing physician . furthermore , in a study on iih and cvst by lin et al22 106 patients diagnosed with iih were further examined by mrv , which resulted in the discovery of cvst in ten of the patients ( 9.4% ) .
daif et al23 used angiography to examine cases previously diagnosed with iih and reported finding 19 of 40 patients had cvst .
these findings indicate that , when diagnosing iih , it is essential to use mrv or other imaging techniques to rule out the possibility of cvst .
the most common etiology for bilateral disc swelling is intracranial pressure , but it can also be triggered by a variety of other causes . in studies of japanese patients , pseudopapillitis is the most important differentiating disease . when attempting to diagnose the etiology of bilateral disc swelling , patients should be immediately examined for the possible influence of other diseases which increase intracranial pressure . | pubmed |
MS Gabriella is a cruiseferry sailing on a route connecting Helsinki, Finland and Stockholm, Sweden for Viking Line. She was built in 1992 in Brodosplit, Croatia as Frans Suell for service with Euroway. Between 1994 and 1997 she sailed as Silja Scandinavia for Silja Line.
Gabriella has sister ships Amorella in Viking Line fleet, Isabelle operated by Tallink, and a third one, Crown Seaways, operated by DFDS Seaways.
Concept and construction
Euroway was a concept developed during the latter half of the 1980s by the Sweden-based Sea-Link Shipping. The new brand was planned to operate two state-of-the-art cruiseferries between Malmö in Sweden and Lübeck in Germany via Travemünde in Germany, with the service aimed in particular at conference groups. Sea-link decided to order the ships from Brodosplit in Croatia, which at that time still was part of the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia. The ships were based on the same design as the Amorella and Isabella that had been built by the same shipyard for the Finland-based SF Line for Viking Line traffic in 1988 and 1989, respectively. The Euroway sisters were designed with a somewhat different layout of public spaces and cabins, as well as an additional cabin deck.
The order for the first ship, Frans Suell, was placed on 28 September 1989, with the delivery date projected in mid-1991. The ship was launched on 23 January 1991, but due to the Croatian War of Independence her construction was severely delayed, and she was not ready for her first sea trials until January 1992. Following her second sea trials in March 1992 Frans Suell sailed to Rijeka for finalization of her construction and to receive the Euroway livery. The ship was finally delivered to her owners on 4 May 1992 and left Split for Malmö.
Service history
19921994: Frans Suell
On 16 May 1992 Frans Suell was christened in Malmö by the Swedish opera singer Birgit Nilsson. The following day she set on her maiden voyage from Malmö to Travemünde and Lübeck, with only invited guests on board. On 19 May 1992 she began normal service on the MalmöTravemünde route, with a daily departure from both ports. The service had a troubled start, as marketing had been difficult due to delays in the construction of the ship. Due to restrictions placed by the city of Malmö on traffic through the city, no trucks could be carried on board, and operating the buffet restaurant on board caused difficulties for the company.
From 1 September 1992 onwards Frans Suell's route was extended to Lübeck for the duration of the northern hemisphere winter season. The call at Travemünde was maintained as the city of Lübeck did not allow cars to be unloaded in the city. Due to the longer crossing times the timetable was altered with departures from every second day from Malmö and Lübeck, with overnight crossings.
On 1 June 1993 Sea-Link Shipping entered an agreement with Silja Line, with the latter assuming marketing and operational responsibility of the Euroway service and ships. The service now became marketed as Silja Line Euroway, with Silja Festival joining Frans Suell as the second ship on the service the original planned second ship, Frans Kockum, had been even more severely delayed than Frans Suell, and eventually Sea-Link cancelled the order. From the beginning of June 1993 Frans Suell and Silja Festival's route was again shortened to MalmöTravemünde, with two daily departures from both ports.
With hopes of attracting more passengers, for the 19931994 winter season the route was extended into CopenhagenMalmöTravemündeLübeck from 1 September 1993 onwards, with daily departures from Copenhagen and Lübeck. Due to the low passenger figures on the service and the poor financial situation of Silja Line, the decision was made to terminate the Euroway service on 12 March 1994. Silja Line wished to charter Frans Suell for use on their TurkuStockholm service, and already on 2 March 1994 she had been chartered to Silja.
19941997: Silja Scandinavia
Following the closure of Euroway Frans Suell sailed to the Vuosaari shipyard in Helsinki, Finland, where she was fitted with rear sponsons, refurbished, painted in Silja Line livery and renamed Silja Scandinavia. On 31 March 1994 she entered service on the TurkuStockholm route. Silja Line's main rivals Viking Line, who owned two of the ship's sisters, were also interested in chartering the ship but thought the price was too high.
As Silja Line's charter agreement for Silja Scandinavia was drawing to a close in 1996, the main funders of Sea-Link demanded that instead of continuing the charter the ship should be sold to the highest bidder. Although Silja Line would have wanted to continue operating the ship, the company was in such a poor financial condition that it could not pay the price asked for the ship. Instead, she was sold to Viking Line on 11 November 1996, with the delivery date planned in April 1997. On 4 April 1997 Silja Scandinavia arrived for the last time in Turku in Silja Line colours.
1997 onwards: Gabriella
After ending her service with Silja Line, Silja Scandinavia again sailed to the Vuosaari shipyard in Helsinki, where she was delivered to Viking Line, refurbished, repainted and renamed Gabriella the name having been chosen by a public naming competition. On 17 April 1997, Gabriella entered service for her new owners on the HelsinkiStockholm route. On 30 June 1999 the a call at Mariehamn was added to the service to maintain tax free sales on board. In 1999, 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2005 the ship spent brief periods sailing on TurkuMariehamnStockholm route, in place of the ship normally used in the service. On 23 January 2004 she collided with the harbour ferry Ehrensvärd in the Helsinki harbour, resulting in minor damage to both ships.
Between 5 May 2008 and 27 May 2008, Gabriella was rebuilt at Öresundsvarvet in Landskrona, Sweden, as a part of Viking Line's fleet rebuilding programme. The refit included the removal of the original cafeteria from deck 7 in favour of expanding the tax-free shop, the addition of a games room on deck 7, the addition of a Tapas & Wine restaurant on deck 8, the conversion of the former BBQ-restaurant into an Ella's restaurant, the conversion of the two-storey discothèque on decks 9 and 10 into a new cafeteria, the addition of new cabins in place of the former conference rooms on deck 11, and redecoration of the majority of passenger cabins.
References
External links
Viking Line official website for Gabriella
Gabriella at Fakta om Fartyg
Video Clips of Gabriella Silja Scandinavia
Category:Ferries of Finland
Category:Cruiseferries
Category:Ships built in Croatia
Category:1991 ships | wikipedia |
Q: How to uncollapse a list with coma separated columns in python? I'm working in a code and I have a list like:
listA = (
['name1', 'A11,A12,A13', 'B11,B12,B13', 'C11,C12,C13'],
['name2', 'A21,A22', 'B21,B22', 'C21,C22'],
['name3', 'A31,A32,A33,A34,A35', 'B31,B32,B33,B34,B35', 'C31,C32,C33,C34,C35' ],
)
and I need to get:
listA = (
['name1', 'A11', 'B11', 'C11'],
['name1', 'A12', 'B12', 'C12'],
['name1', 'A13', 'B13', 'C13'],
['name2', 'A21', 'B21', 'C21'],
['name2', 'A22', 'B22', 'C22'],
['name3', 'A31', 'B31', 'C31'],
['name3', 'A32', 'B32', 'C32'],
['name3', 'A33', 'B33', 'C33'],
['name3', 'A34', 'B34', 'C34'],
['name3', 'A35', 'B35', 'C35'],
)
please help me, I'm staked.
Thanks for your time.
A: list_b = []
for x in list_a:
i = iter(x)
name = next(i)
list_b.extend((name,) + t for t in zip(*(y.split(",") for y in i)))
A: Kinda ugly, but...
listB = []
for tup in listA:
tmptup = []
for elt in tup:
splt = elt.split(',')
for n in splt:
tmptup.append(n)
listB.append(tmptup)
A: listA = tuple([name, a, b, c] for (name, aas, bbs, ccs) in listA
for (a, b, c) in zip(aas.split(','), bbs.split(','), ccs.split(',')))
A: def uncollapse(L):
temp = []
answer = []
for item in L:
temp= [item[0]] + [i.split(',') for i in item]
for i in range(len(temp[1])):
answer.append([temp[0]] + [zip(*temp[1:])[i]])
return answer
Tested and working
| slim_pajama |
What kind of molecules do I smell when draining cooked potatoes or rice?
When I drain potatoes after cooking them, they exhibit a nice smelling odor. It is not very strong. Now I know that some perfumes use natural molecules and one of them could come from potatoes (or rice.) But I forgot what the name was for this molecule, or perhaps someone knows some perfumes using these kinds of compounds.
It would be interesting to know what the functions of such molecules are in the organisms. Just an enzyme, or possibly an attracting force for some reason?
What a good question. But unanswerable by me and my prior knowledge and skill in google-fu. I have some **general** answers. This is a complicated area, since smell is both a physical issue and an individual and unmeasurable issue. Olfactory science is at a surprisingly basic level, given how far we are generally. I tried investigating what compounds in rice provide odour, the answer seems to be; way more than I could possibly have thought. Check out [this article](https://naldc.nal.usda.gov/download/45769/PDF) - while it is rough to digest a scientific articl unless you have basis knowledge just look at that list at page 505-506. There are many aromas in rice!
As for what functions they perform - looking at the list it is probably impossible to generalize down to what functions such a wide array of compounds do. Certainly, some compounds that are odorous has a primary function of being odorous, attracting pollinators and attracting mates. For rice, which has been around humans since time immemorial (at least 9k BC) they have probably been through a selection process, the most benevolent smelling rice plants being selectively bred, but this is speculation on my part. Other compounds have other functions and just happen to have a strong odour. Generally, to be odorous, the compound must have some volatility. What can also be said generally and very broadly is that alcohols and aldehydes / ketones are more often odorous than other compounds. There are also certain inorganic compounds that are (and often strongly so), Ammonia, Sulfide and the "garlic" series (S-Se-Te) for instance.
Good question. If you learn more, let us know.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
primary non - hodgkin lymphomas of the gastrointestinal tract are rare , accounting for only 14% of malignancies arising in the stomach , small intestine or colon .
mucosa - associated lymphoid tissue ( malt ) lymphoma comprises 78% of all b - cell lymphomas and at least 50% of primary gastric lymphomas .
it reaches its peak incidence between the ages of 50 and 60 years and there is a slight male predominance .
patients with gastric malt lymphoma typically present with nonspecific symptoms such as nausea , vomit , non - ulcer dyspepsia , epigastric discomfort , anorexia , weight loss , or occult gastrointestinal bleeding .
physical examination is often normal , but may reveal a palpable mass or peripheral lymphadenopathy when the disease is advanced .
laboratory studies also tend to be normal at presentation and anemia may be present in selected cases . the diagnosis should be confirmed by biopsy .
findings on upper endoscopy are diverse , including mucosal erythema , benign - appearing gastric ulcer or nodular lesion .
multiple biopsies should be obtained from both suspicious - appearing lesions and normal - appearing mucosa in the stomach since gastric malt lymphoma can occasionally present as multifocal disease with involvement of tissue that appears to be unaffected on initial visualization .
conventional pinch biopsies may miss the diagnosis , since gastric malt lymphoma can infiltrate the submucosa without affecting the mucosa .
in epithelial tissues , malt lymphomas are composed of morphologically heterogeneous small b - cells including marginal zone ( centrocyte - like ) cells , monocytoid cells , and small lymphocytes .
the risk of misdiagnosing such lesions as poorly differentiated gastric cancer in endoscopic biopsies , particularly in low - grade malt lymphomas in which lel may be particularly abundant , is well described .
a 76-year - old woman was referred for the management of poorly differentiated gastric adenocarcinoma diagnosed at the time of a routine screening upper endoscopy .
her past medical history was unremarkable and family history showed that her father had gastric cancer .
a diagnostic upper endoscopy in our unit revealed a 2 cm raised , submucosal lesion with central erosion in the upper body of the stomach ( fig .
1 ) . repeat biopsies of the lesion were interpreted as inflamed gastric mucosa with positive helicobacter pylori .
we also performed systematic gastric biopsies to rule out any foci of malt lymphoma changes within the stomach , however the results were not significant . computed tomography of the chest and abdomen was negative for any lymphadenopathy or distant metastases .
based on the localized endoscopic findings and repeat negative biopsy results , we performed an endoscopic submucosal dissection ( esd ) for diagnostic therapy .
histological study revealed a well - circumscribed lymph follicle containing large germinal centers in the submucosa invading the muscularis mucosa and mucosa ( fig .
centrocyte - like cells and epitheliotropic proliferation ( lel ) invading into the mucosa with obliteration of the gastric glands ( fig .
3 ) were also seen . while the lel was initially interpreted as poorly differentiated adenocarcinoma , the pathological evidence obtained from esd established the diagnosis of a malt lymphoma of the stomach ( c - stage ie ) .
after eradication of h. pylori with antibiotics , the patient has had no local or distant recurrences during the subsequent 2 years of surveillance follow - up .
the world health organization ( who)/revised european american lymphoma ( real ) classification scheme groups all lymphomas involving extranodal sites ( gastrointestinal tract , thyroid , lung , breast , orbit and skin ) into the category of malt lymphomas .
although patients with gastric malt lymphoma often present with stage i or ii extranodal disease , those patients may have vastly different presentations depending on its size and location : asymptomatic , gastric outlet obstruction , or weight loss .
gastric malt lymphoma often presents as multifocal disease within the stomach and systematic gastric biopsy is crucial for diagnosis . in this localized malt lymphoma case ,
theoretically , since gastric malt lymphomas develop from mucosa - associated lymphoid tissue , esd should be adequate to obtain lymphoma tissue for the definite diagnosis .
a previous study showed an association between previous h. pylori infection and the development of gastric malt lymphoma and that eradication of h. pylori with antibiotics results in regression of gastric malt lymphomas [ 6 , 7 ] .
is classified as an indolent non - hodgkin lymphoma , stable asymptomatic patients with persistently positive biopsies have been successfully followed until disease progression . in conclusion ,
esd is a reasonable option for the diagnosis of localized gastric malt lymphomas in selected cases in whom adequate tissue samples are difficult to obtain . | pubmed |
Subsets and Splits