Come on.  Sometimes you just have to accept that large companies that have been around for a long time, put out a good product.  Like Quaker Oats.  I bought these after a Jamaican chef taught me a trick to create smooth silky porridge:  keep stirring.  Just like pasta, it takes a little while for water (or milk) to absorb into the oats, and stirring helps break down those flakes as they cook.  Jamaicans also blend raw oats into some of their smoothies, which I thought was an interesting way to make a shake nice and hearty.  So again, to review:  don't stir and you get oatmeal; stir and you get smooth porridge.  "Please, Amazon, can I have some more?"