Just kidding! They actually want to ban plastic straws, hamburgers, fossil fuels, internal combustion engines, capitalism, and personal freedoms. This is because, according to 100% of scientists (Snopes verified it), man-caused global warming is causing rainforests and aboriginal people to burst into spontaneous flames, Miami to be submerged faster than Shelley Winters in "The Poseidon Adventure," and all life on Earth to be stone dead within 10 years. Well, except for cockroaches and Keith Richards.
With eons of climate cycles in the world's past, we're more than a little skeptical of the whole "man-caused climate change" narrative. But just to be on the safe side, we're addressing the issue with some 100% Earth-friendly recycled cartoons today.
Also, we're going to wrap our feet in plastic bags from the grocery store so that we won't leave carbon footprints.
|Kids, by all means try this at home!