anchor.diff:  
   “About what?”
   
  -“Wondering why am I here, and not there, I’m not sure.” I said
  +“Wondering *_why am I here, and not there_*, I’m not sure.” I said
   
   “How are you feeling”
   
  -> I’m okay, not okay. 
  +> I’m okay, not okay.
   > I am fine, I am shattered.
   > I am here, and everywhere.
   > Everything, is just as it should be.
positive.code: 
  I often envy those who spent their times constantly pouring their ideas into words, consistently, so that it’s easy for other people to consume the overall thoughts in small chunks.
  
  I find it hard to write all the things I have in my head that can take up only a few minutes to write, but I’d like to try to sum it all in one question. That question would be “Why am I here, and not there?”
  
  No, it’s not that I’m not being grateful of where I am at the moment. I can’t express better gratitude of where I am right now. A sense of purpose, a good career, and an expertise I can be proud of. Moreover, having myself able to commit to certain lifestyle of simplicity had given me more freedom than I could never imagined I can have.
  
  Years ago, I might want to be able to live life in certain kind of grandiose. I could have a life somewhere with a nice weather, have a house with certain interior style, and commit my pastime activities restoring old classic cars. The allure of living such a life is indeed still there. But now I think I manage to balance that ambition with a more purposeful gratitude. Life has been great. There, I said it… It couldn’t be any better than this.
  
  But, it’s funny to realise, even when you have that spirit, the question never fully went away. “Why am I here, and not there?”
  
  As existential it may sounds, I would not let the question linger to be a kind of sorrow. I’d like to emphasise that question in a more positive, and cheerful way: I’d like to think of it, as a sign of longing of growth.
  
  
negative.code: 
  There are two times in our life, when we became very adept in writing about our own experiences. One, is when bad things hit hard and we are forced to navigate the rough current. We became very sensitive to stressors and external triggers, that we begin to internalise everything into our consciousness. Two, is when emptiness strikes. We begin to look for something we deem essential for survival. Suddenly we swim deeper into our memories and consciousness, looking for traces of life we might left scattered behind us.
  
  In both condition, I think the essential question sums our discontent, or sums the story premise very well. *“Why am I here, and not there?”* . In emptiness, or sorrow.
  
  ---
  
  