anchor.diff:  
   And then today, we spent half the class making children's building blocks out of matchsticks and paper. 
   
  -I don't want to be a kid again. 
  +I don't want to be a kid again. I just want to know how to talk to a receptionist without a translator.
   
   ***
   
  
positive.code: 
  ***
  
  This pattern of conflict continues in my language studies. Finnish is a language packed to the gills with syntax, and teachers who teach it blindly with little concern as to the semantics, and often no knowledge of how to even explain it. In my early studies at first it seemed like I was indeed learning quite quickly, but soon found my actualy comprehension of Finnish, especially in the real world, was far slower to catch up with. Time and again in my language studies I am met with patronizing praise from teacher after teacher for how well I'm doing, when all the while I barely comprehend the most basic conversations in Finnish.
  
  In Finland, in order to apply for full citizenship, you must take what a language proficiency test. Normally this test costs upwards of 130€, but if you are in certain language courses and your teacher is sufficiently confident in your ability to pass it, you can apply to take it through your course for free. 
  
  A few weeks ago, my teacher handed me that application form.
  
  
negative.code: 
  But you know what? That sad fat old man can go fuck himself. He's not me. He's merely an illusion, a devil's collaboration between outside and in designed to keep me in place and in check.
  
  I am not a sad fat old man. I'm not that fat, I'm not nearly old enough to be "old," and in truth I actually haven't been all that sad lately. I realized the other day that, for the first time in longer than I can precisely determine, that I have in fact had quite a lot of days lately in which I was genuinely happy. 
  
  Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I think it's about time I put modesty aside and gave an honest self-inventory. As a society we are taught never to value ourselves too highly in public, while at the same being endlessly shamed for our failures. To which I would like to say, "Fuck you, I'm great."
  
  Herein then, is a short list of my talents, better natures, and life accomplishments:
  
  