anchor.diff:  :hp-tags: poetry
   :published-at: 2019-11-21 NEW POST -23
   
  -Before the show begins, +
  +Before we begin, +
   I would like to state the following: +
   
   [This poem has been on my mind for the past year. +
  
positive.code: I have to stand up for myself, because no one else +
  can, or will. In that sense, I have no regrets.] +
  
  It is best experienced by reading through the +
  entire thing, then checking all of the hyperlinks. +
  
  
negative.code: 
  Friday 23rd November 2018. +
  
  I was heading to the +
  Rich Mix in Shoreditch +
  
  to enjoy an evening of +
  spoken word and music +
  
  
  
  "reimagi[ing] masculinity +
  through a queer and feminist lens" +
  
  a collaboration between the South Asian +
  collective, https://www.instagram.com/theyoniversecollective[The Yoniverse] and 
  
  https://richmix.org.uk/events/the-yoniverse-x-leo-kalyan-present-the-edge/[THE YONIVERSE X LEO KALYAN PRESENT: THE EDGE]
  
  tonight, masculinity would be +
  "reimagined...through a queer +
  and feminist lens" +
  
  
  five slots on the day, +
  with priority given to +
  
  
  and also +
  perform a https://scriptindex.github.io/2018/09/11/Women.html[spoken word piece] +
  I had https://farm66.static.flickr.com/65535/48596076557_f842c1df74.jpg[memorised] not long ago +
  for a recent https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWjxVYxxkGE[poetry event]. +
  
  Looking at these https://www.facebook.com/pg/theyoniversecollective/photos/?tab=album&album_id=298107960823996[lovely photos], +
  it looks like everything went well.
  
  there's a https://www.facebook.com/theyoniversecollective/photos/a.298107960823996/298108187490640/?type=3&theater[few] pictures of https://www.facebook.com/theyoniversecollective/photos/a.298107960823996/298109637490495/?type=3&theate[me] +
  performing on that https://www.facebook.com/theyoniversecollective/photos/a.298107960823996/298110540823738/?type=3&theater[stage] +
  
  and everyone +
  
  
  What if I told you +
  things didn't go +
  as well 
  
  What if I told you +
  the truth lies
  
  F
  
  
  
  
  there was this one +
  brown girl. her energy +
  was a bit strange +
  
  she looked like +
  the kind of girl +
  that would get +
  angry at anything +
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  then I https://www.facebook.com/theyoniversecollective/photos/a.298107960823996/298111290823663/?type=3&theater[came back] +
  to finish the piece +
  
  
  
  
  And it's unfortunate +
  since I was ready to +
  recommend the event to +
  all of my poetry friends. +
  
  oh well. at least +
  https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqm0lwunQ9A/[the buns] were nice.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  if I don't know what +
  I did "wrong" then how +
  am I expected to improve, +
  to prevent myself from +
  doing the exact thing again +
  
  
  as far as I am aware, +
  https://twitter.com/DimplePau/status/1066100076949450752[this twitter post] is the +
  only reference I have found +
  
  yes, it is about me +
  and no, I have no clue +
  what she's talking about. +
  
  F
  
  
  the
  
  Please bear in mind that she +
  offered to meet up only after +
  I had approached her myself and +
  expressed my desire to discover +
  
  why the piece was received +
  in that way. I doubt she +
  would have otherwise. +
  
  So I took up her offer and +
  messaged her directly the +
  next day over Instagram and +
  she was quite cooperative +
  
  though we were unable to meet, +
  Shagufta stated she would +
  "send [me] some dates and see +
  if we can meet before Xmas." +
  
  Sounds great. I replied back +
  and sent another two messages. +
  
  Let's see what happened. +
  
  Nov 28, 9:02pm: Seen. +
  Dec 17, 5:03pm: Seen. +
  >Jan 7, 9:05pm: Seen. +
  
  It is pretty clear that we +
  were not going to meet up. +
  
  At this point, I knew that +
  I was not going to find any +
  answers. Not that she was +
  obliged to explain anything +
  
  to me. Realising this truth, + 
  I decided to leave it at that. +
  
  -
  
  However, as I was writing this +
  incredibly long piece, I noticed +
  that The Yoniverse has scrubbed +
  nearly all mention of the event +
  
  on their Instagram page. I recall +
  a post with some Facebook pictures, +
  their open mic policy post - both gone. +
  
  Just thought I'd mention that. +
  
  -
  
  When situations aren't +
  resolved, you receive +
  
  no closure, no idea of +
  what went wrong or +
  how you can improve +
  
  it can damage you +
  in ways you may +
  not realise. +
  
  Fortunately, I had +
  two other creative +
  events that weekend +
  
  where I wanted +
  to perform 'Women.' +
  
  so I didn't have time +
  to rest in my sorrow +
  
  but just to be sure +
  
  I double checked +
  with the founder of +
  Saturday's event: +
  
  "I've performed it a +
  few times but last night +
  it was quite divisive +
  among Feminists..." +
  
  She responded with a +
  video message saying +
  that "Poetry is about +
  expressing yourself." +
  
  she enjoyed the piece, +
  by the way. +
  
  I didn't get the time +
  
  to perform it, but it +
  was okay since I was +
  
  preparing
  
  
  It was at that point +
  where I realised that +
  it was not the piece +
  that was offensive +
  
  rather, it was the +
  audience that found +
  the piece offensive. +
  
  -
  
  Looking back +
  I realise that +
  from 18/11 to 23/12, +
   
  I didn't post
  anything on my +
  Instagram page +
  
  I was still +
  
  
  upcoming events but +
  
  
  reaching a new arc +
  in my creative career +
  
  
  
  
  I had already written +
  the sensitive 
  
  https://scriptindex.github.io/2018/10/14/perspective-1.html['Perspective 1']
  
  TK
  
  thanks to my ability +
  to 
  
  
  is the very reason +
  I was confident enough +
  
  to write and perform +
  the spectacular sensation, +
  https://scriptindex.github.io/2018/12/17/second-perspective.html['second perspective'] +
  
  Not my words, by the way +
  but if you've reached this +
  far and haven't exploded +
  with rage, keep reading... +
  
  -
  
  I've given you all +
  the information you +
  require to understand +
  
  why this event holds +
  so much importance +
  for me, but if you +
  
  really want to know +
  why I wrote the poem +
  
  the one you are +
  reading right now +
  
  there is a very +
  simple answer. +
  
  -
  
  This is a story +
  that deserves +
  to be told. +
  
  The story you +
  deserve to know. +
  
  It will not be +
  invalidated or +
  silenced +
  
  suppressed, +
  or distorted +
  
  by anyone +
  or everyone. +
  
  May it be a lesson +
  to those who think +
  otherwise. +
  
  -
  
  To conclude, I would like +
  to personally deliver this +
  handwritten letter to its +
  rightful recipient... +
  
  ...
  
  To the Yoniverse, +
  
  It is Saturday 23rd November 2019. +
  
  It has been exactly one year +
  since I came on your stage +
  to recite my poetry. +
  
  three hundred and +
  sixty five days later +
  
  I hope this is the +
  learning experience +
  you were looking for. +
  
  The Yoniverse, +
  
  It seems you underestimated +
  what one South Asian man +
  is capable of. +
  
  I hope you will not make +
  the same mistake twice. +
  
  I do not expect your +
  forgiveness, for the +
  time has long gone +
  
  I know you will +
  not forget this +
  
  but it doesn't +
  matter anymore, +
  
  because... +
  
  it's over +
  
  there is nothing +
  left to say +
  
  so I shall leave you +
  with the very words +
  
  I said to your founder +
  on that fateful evening: +
  
  "I hope I don't take up +
  too much time in your +
  red book meeting." +
  
  Yours truly, +
  https://www.instagram.com/scriptindex/[scriptindex]
  
  _-scriptindex, 23/11/19 sat_