Kindergartner Handcuffed; Art of Negotiation
COSTELLO: We showed you the disturbing pictures of Florida police handcuffing a little girl. And in the wake of it, police, parents and principals may be taking a second look on how they deal with children. CNN's "AMERICAN MORNING" will have more on this story. Let's check in now with Bill Hemmer. Good morning.</s>BILL HEMMER, CNN ANCHOR: Hey, Carol. How are you? Good morning to you on a Monday. It's not the first time police were called to the school, apparently. But they did too far, or did they not, in handcuffing that kindergartner? Police are investigating now. And the lawyer for the 5-year-old's mother is our guest. We'll talk to him about it today. Also, the FBI -- a very interesting story here, Carol -- are investigating reports of people posing as hospital inspectors, trying to gain access to medical facilities in three major American cities. And they did it in the middle of the night. We'll try and figure out what's going on here and why it could be a growing concern for many. We'll get into that as well, 11 minutes away on "AMERICAN MORNING." See you later -- Carol.</s>COSTELLO: All right. We'll be here. Thank you, Bill.</s>HEMMER: Bye-bye.</s>COSTELLO: Money makes then world go around, and everybody would like to bring home more of it. But persuading the boss to give you a raise is no easy matter. "Money" magazine's Ellen McGirt has some tips on the art of negotiation, and she's here to talk about it this morning. Good morning, Ellen.</s>ELLEN MCGIRT, SENIOR WRITER, "MONEY" MAGAZINE: Good morning. Thanks for having me.</s>COSTELLO: Now, see, the first thing I said to you in the break was, 'Boy, I stink at negotiating.'</s>MCGIRT: I know. And what did I say to you? 'I bet you think you do, but you probably don't.' Anybody with your poise and personality is probably going to be much better at it than they think. It's just that it's uncomfortable, because we think it's an us-versus- them conflict.</s>COSTELLO: Right.</s>MCGIRT: It doesn't have to be that way.</s>COSTELLO: Conflict. And I don't like strife.</s>MCGIRT: You're all about the love.</s>COSTELLO: Oh, yes, I'm all about the love. But anyway, you have seven tips for us this morning on how to negotiate better. The number one tip is, don't look at a deal as an either/or proposition.</s>MCGIRT: The most important mistake that people make is that they're going to make their offer and they're going to stick to their guns and they're going to do go down with the ship with it. It's not about that. It's about compromise, the fine art of compromise. Do you want more money? Yes. But you also want a better office. You also want better hours. Thinking creatively means that you'll get exactly what you want, the spirit of what you want, even it's not</s>COSTELLO: I want all of those things.</s>MCGIRT: And you'll get them someday.</s>COSTELLO: All right. Because you're going to tell me how this morning. OK. Number two, know what you can part with and then part with it hard.</s>MCGIRT: The time to figure out what's really important to you is not in the heat of the moment. Know in advance what you're going to be asking for, a wide array of things, and what's really your sticking point? What are you willing to give up? And give it up. With a little bit of theater, it seems like you're giving up more than you actually are. You're not really lying; you're just bluffing.</s>COSTELLO: Just bluffing. So, there is a little acting involved here.</s>MCGIRT: It's fun. If you take it on with a sense of adventure then it can be about the great theater of actually getting what you want. Having a conservation that was possible, not fighting.</s>COSTELLO: Oh, I get so angry, though. And the tips?</s>MCGIRT: OK.</s>COSTELLO: OK, we'll get to that in a second. Number three, figure out the other side's timetable, and then use it.</s>MCGIRT: Well, you live in a deadline-driven environment. You know what that's like. So does somebody else on the other side of the table from you. So, if you're looking to get a better deal on a hotel room, knowing that eventually they're going to have to rent it at some point means that you're going to get a better deal. A salesman, as they get close to their quota time, is more likely to compromise.</s>COSTELLO: OK. This is one that women should be fabulous at: Show people that you understand their position.</s>MCGIRT: Whether you're a mom or a hostage negotiator or just trying to get a better deal on something, know that the other person has a point of view, too. They're just trying to do a better job. If you can get them to agree with you, mirroring their emotions, I see you're upset here, I see you've got a lot riding on this, then the more likely that you'll be able to see each other as allies and construct a deal together.</s>COSTELLO: So, reach out and say, I understand your position.</s>MCGIRT: That's right. That's right. No, and I'm committed to you. You give me what I want.</s>COSTELLO: Gotcha. OK. Here's one: Stifle your emotions. I've gotten so angry I have walked out of the room. And I know that's entirely the wrong thing to do.</s>MCGIRT: Actually walking out of the room to calm yourself down is the right thing to do.</s>COSTELLO: Oh.</s>MCGIRT: This is a good tip for John Bolton, by the way, perhaps. Calm yourself down. Don't frighten the other side.</s>COSTELLO: Don't throw things at people.</s>MCGIRT: No, I know, pounding on their doors. It's just terrible.</s>COSTELLO: OK. So, you can walk away, compose yourself, say, I have to leave the room for just a second.</s>MCGIRT: That's right.</s>COSTELLO: I need a drink of water.</s>MCGIRT: Pull together some talking points for yourself. Reframe it so that you can get back on track. Staying focused and detached means you're more likely to get through the entire negotiation.</s>COSTELLO: Chad, you have something to say?</s>MYERS: Yes. You know, I guess you hear about buyer's market and seller's market when it comes to buying a home. But is it an employee's market or an employer's market now with a lot of people being out of work?</s>COSTELLO: How much power do you really have as an employee?</s>MCGIRT: You know, it depends. You know, it's funny that we have -- we're in such a litigious environment now that people are more afraid of doing the wrong thing or appearing to do the wrong thing. Sometimes you can use that as an advantage, just the fact that we work in it, but that there's a lot at stake for everybody in the workplace. But coming from where your boss is coming from, understanding that you know what's up for them means that you're able to give them things that would actually make their jobs easier and give them an opportunity to give you what you want. Patience.</s>COSTELLO: Yes, because I really do think that many employees forget how difficult a job their bosses have.</s>MCGIRT: That's right.</s>COSTELLO: The pressure they're under.</s>MCGIRT: That's exactly right.</s>COSTELLO: They're dealing with everything. You're dealing with just one small part of the business.</s>MCGIRT: And nervous about being evaluated all the time. So, if you can demonstrate that you understand what they're up against, they're more likely to work with you.</s>COSTELLO: OK. So, Jim Walton (ph), here I come. Thank you. Ellen McGirt of "Money" magazine.</s>MCGIRT: My pleasure.</s>COSTELLO: All right. Now is your chance to negotiate. Actually, you can't negotiate at all. You have to win a DAYBREAK coffee mug. Chad?</s>MYERS: Carol, I have got great questions for you, but they are not easy questions today.</s>COSTELLO: Oh.</s>MYERS: We didn't ask a question on Friday. We actually gave away the mug because of the worst baby name, remember that? So, here are the questions for today. We'll give you the winner tomorrow. What season of "American Idol" is airing right now? And what's the average price of a gallon of gasoline in the United States?</s>COSTELLO: Those aren't hard.</s>MYERS: I think you said it went down a few pennies from last week, right? CNN.com/daybreak. Just answer the questions there and hit submit -- Carol.</s>COSTELLO: CNN.com/daybreak. And you are watching DAYBREAK for a Monday morning.