Bisexuals Find Identification a Difficult Process
BILL HEMMER, CNN ANCHOR: You probably know Actresses Anne Heche and Ellen Degeneres were long time companions and that Heche has now married a man. Tonight Heche told Larry King sexual abuse as a child made her insane. And Degeneres was a way out. (</s>BEGIN VIDEO CLIP, "LARRY KING LIVE") HECHE: In Ellen there was a human being that was being open about who they were, sharing it with the world, being brave, being strong in who they were as a human being. Now I had been raised with a big fat liar who destroyed his family because he was afraid to be who he was, in my opinion. So here I met somebody who is glorious in their ability to be who they were and tell the world and I found that to be very attractive. It was not, oh gee, you're a woman. It's, oh my God, there's a human being that is telling the truth.</s>HEMMER: Anne Heche is seen by many as a symbol of bisexuality. In tonight's cover story, a group of people not so well know talked about their experiences. From New York, here is CNN's Maria Hinojosa.</s>MARIA HINOJOSA, CNN CORRESPONDENT (voice-over): Tom and Amara are a loving couple in their early 30s.</s>AMARA WILLEY: Did you say when you were going in today?</s>HINOJOSA: She works in a public library. He's a computer security expert with a recently published book.</s>WILLEY: I like what you did with the cover.</s>HINOJOSA: They're also both bisexual.</s>TOM LIMONCELLI: It's the freedom to do and think and feel the way you want and the freedom to be true to yourself, really.</s>WILLEY: I think what you're talking about is sort of a spiritual thing. It is a connection of two people's souls.</s>HINOJOSA: They've been connected for 10 months, but years ago, each struggled to accept the term, bisexual.</s>LIMONCELLI: When I was dating I a guy I thought I was gay. When I was dating a woman I thought I was straight and it was actually funny because I finally came to start using this label and I was so excited that I had told my friends that I came out to them as bisexual and they said yeah, Tom, we know. That would be why we've all seen you dating men and women over the last couple years. So I guess they knew and were more comfortable with the label than I was.</s>HINOJOSA: Which is why they watch the Barbara Walters Anne Heche interview carefully and critically.</s>LIMONCELLI: She gave a very good definition as bisexual, as someone who -- she described herself as someone who likes the person --falls in love with a person, not a particular gender and then said that she's not bisexual.</s>HINOJOSA: Which upset them both a lot. They're active in bisexual support groups helping others to understand. (on camera): So when you hear Tom saying some days I've got my boy days and my girl days, what goes on for you? Are you kind of like, well, wait a second, I'm a girl and I'm with you and so I want you to just like have a lot of girl days now?</s>WILLEY: Well, I suppose I have my boy days and girl days, too.</s>LIMONCELLI: Every day is my Amara day.</s>WILLEY: That was the right answer.</s>HINOJOSA: For Donna Redd and Jenna there aren't a lot of right answers. Donna came out as lesbian when she was 15, but then things changed.</s>DONNA REDD: As years went by and I met and fell in love with a man, like, oh, no, this is not right. Snap out of it, I'm a lesbian woman and you're afraid to get that lesbian gold card taken away.</s>HINOJOSA: Married to that man now for 21 years, she calls herself a lesbian identified bisexual.</s>REDD: Whoever you involve yourself with it is about being comfortable, being happy.</s>HINOJOSA: Jenna is happy identifying as bisexual, but not everybody she knows is happy about it. Especially her gay friends.</s>GINA GIBBS: You go the whole way, you are riding the fence. Come join us. Identify as guy or lesbian. Don't be in that middle ground. I'm trying to get the good of both worlds. In reality I got a lot of the bad of both worlds. Heterosexuals saying choose, and gays saying choose.</s>HINOJOSA (on camera): Bisexuals say the only real choice they have is to follow their hearts. And for them, their hearts aren't attracted to gender but to people. The saying in the bisexual community goes that the plumbing is unimportant. Maria Hinojosa, CNN, New York.