When a loved one passes, all of a sudden we're bombarded with the things we should've done or should've said or did do and did say but wish we didn't. Regrets can't be wished away, however, and dwelling just leads to more suffering. Wouldn't this person want you to be happy?


Regrets often involve forgiving ourselves. There's no manual for self-forgiveness unfortunately, and the only thing you can do remember that you're human. You're human and you loved to the best of your ability. Now it's time to concentrate on the present.
 The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In that order. However, know that no two people grieve the same. However you need to do it, whether it's balled up in the corner with a teddy bear or running until the backs of shins hurt, do it. You'll be better in the long run.


Anyone else's preconceptions as to what grieving is can be shoved you know where. How you feel compelled to handle it is how you should handle it. As long as you're treating yourself and others with care (read: not turning to drugs, alcohol, and the like), it's okay.
 Right now, you and the loved ones around you need to join together. Sometimes, when you grieve with others, it feels a lot less like grieving. The combined efforts of everyone can make the time pass a lot quicker.


If you feel like you're the only one going through this and no one else is grieving, just the company of others can help. Having someone hold your hand can let you know that you're not alone. That things will be okay. Seek support in those around you, whoever they are.
 At one point or another, there was a you that existed outside, independently of this relationship. And it still does. It's just a matter of finding your old you once more. With a little brushing off, they'll be good as new.


Reconnect with people and things from your past. What used to fill you with zest? What made you come alive? What is something that you always wish you had the time or energy to take part in? And the last, most important question: What better time than now?

, The only reason it isn't bright is because you're wearing shades. The future holds just as many promises as it did six weeks, six months, or six years ago. It's just a matter of what you make from it. Instead of dwelling on the past, think of tomorrow. What might it bring?


When you hold onto the past, you have no room to hold onto the future. You could be missing out on an entire world out there. Would your loved one want that? In order to find love, you have to give and receive it. You can't do anything if your hands are full holding onto what used to be.
 Everything you never said, put down in this letter. Keep it positive, concentrating on their life and how much joy they brought to you.


It's up to you to choose what to do with it. You can either keep it in a place close to your heart, send it away on a wave of ocean water, or light it on fire and watch the smoke rise to the skies.
 Will. Not might, should, can, or could. Will. The only modal verb that applies to this situation is "will." For some it will take longer than others, but it will happen. Until then...relax. Let time run its course. It heals all wounds.


When it starts to happen, you may not even notice. You'll be changing and growing so much that your eyes don't dart back to who you used to be. Maybe that time is now. Maybe you've started on the process and you're just too close to the painting to be able to tell. Could that be? Stupid question. Yes. Yes, it could.
Practice releasing regrets.
Grieve.
Don't grieve alone.
Reconnect with you.
Look to the future.
Write a positive letter of goodbye for closure.
Know that "letting go" will happen.
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