Sometimes a more earnest response is a better one — an insulting comeback can end up provoking more of the same (or worse). You still, however, need to show the bully that you aren't hurt by his words, even if you are.


Take a deep breath. If you are angry, try to let the feeling go. Anger is what the bully wants to see, so don't give in and show it.Try to put on a "poker face" that doesn't reveal any feelings one way or the other. You can practice this in the mirror at home to make this easier.
 When you respond to the bully, show that you are confident. It's not just that you aren't angry or hurt — you feel fine about yourself and and confident in your response.Stand up straight, and look the bully in the eye. Speak in a calm, clear voice.
You can tell the person insulting you something like: "Your words don't affect me," or, "I don't let people like you get to me.", Respond verbally with a comment that shows that the insult hasn't hurt you, or that the bully's words are unimportant to you. Here are some good examples:I heard you, but I don't care.
You're wasting your breath.
Real mature.
Are you done?
Wow, you discovered I look different than you.
 You might consider a response that promotes feelings of shame for the bully. Ideally, you can make her feel bad for insulting you. Here are some examples:I feel sorry for you.
Build up your self-esteem some other way.
Your parents must be really proud of you.
It's sad that you feel a need to do this.
 Some people have found it effective to respond to insults with questions aimed at making the other person open up about the real problem. If you think the person insulting you might be open to a conversation about the real issues that are upsetting him, this might be worth a try.For example, if someone calls you stupid, you might respond by asking: "What is it exactly that makes you feel I am not intelligent?" Even if this doesn't start a heart-to-heart conversation about the bully's own feelings of inadequacy or jealousy, it might disarm him just by being unexpected.
Take a breath.
Act confident.
Show you aren't hurt.
Consider shaming the other person.
Ask questions to start a conversation.
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