If you generally say yes to most requests, you may lose touch with how you actually feel about having someone in your house. If someone shows up at your door and says, “Can I come in?” or, “Can I stay over?” take a moment and tune into your body. If you’re genuinely happy to see them, let them in. However, if you don’t want to get up to open the door, your first reaction is a groan, or you feel knots in your stomach after they ask, it’s clear that the person is not welcome.If you get a “no” answer from your body, tell your friend, “This isn’t a good time. I’m sorry.”
Sometimes it can be helpful to talk through how you are feeling with your partner or a trusted friend to get to the bottom of how you really feel.
 There may be some situations that excite you and some that deplete you depending on whether you are an introvert or extrovert. Introverts prefer to spend most of their time alone, while extroverts prefer to spend most of their time with other people. If you are not sure which type you are, then you can take the Myers & Briggs test to find out.For example, you may feel excited when an old friend shows up unannounced, yet feel depleted after they stay for more than a few hours. Are there situations that feel good and others that feel bad? Are there certain people you can tolerate and others you cannot? Begin to notice what situations energize you and which ones drain you. This can help you to become clearer on what limits you can set and how you might enforce them.For example, you might like the person who drops in, but hate that they come to unload all of their negativity onto you.
 If you’re constantly bending your own needs to accommodate others, you may lose sleep, feel angry or upset, lose money, or overextend yourself. If you know that having someone over will drain you or affect you negatively, say something.You can say, “I’m really stressed and I need some alone time right now” or, “I’m working on a project and I need to concentrate by myself.”
If you notoriously neglect your own needs, get into a routine of taking some time for relaxation. Join a yoga class, talk a daily walk, or meditate on a regular basis. This can help you deal with stress and not let things compound over time.If you are an introverted personality type, then it is especially important to regularly schedule in time for isolation and quiet. This will help keep you charged for social interaction.
 You might say yes to everything to avoid making others upset, yet this can lead you to feel unhappy or taken advantage of. If you fear someone’s disappointment, remember that a lack of boundaries can lead to long-term resentment or bitterness over time. If something makes you unhappy or resentful, that’s not fair to you. It’s okay to say no, even if the other person doesn’t like it.If someone becomes upset, say, “I understand this isn’t what you expected, but I’m afraid I can’t help you this time. I’m sorry you’re disappointed.”
Check with your body.
Notice what energizes and drains you.
Prioritize your needs.
Tolerate others’ reactions.
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