These may be minor things, like cleanliness, or major issues, like jealousy, infidelity, or commitment.


Be aware, though, that arguments are often about something below the surface, such as resentment and disappointment. The things we argue about can be simply an excuse to vent our deeper frustrations.;
, These include alcohol, physical or emotional fatigue, and stress from work or school. Dealing with these may significantly improve things.
 While you may feel that your boyfriend is to blame for everything, step back and ask whether you've contributed to your arguments. In some cases, admitting that you did something wrong to your partner may dramatically reduce the intensity of the argument., You may or may not know how you would like the problem to be resolved. Take time to think about what your ideal outcome is, and then ask yourself what other possible outcomes you could accept.This will help put the argument in the larger context of your needs and the relationship as a whole.


If it helps, write down the things you want to say to your boyfriend.
 It may help him to know in advance, rather than to spring the subject on him unawares. This gives him a little time to think about his own position, too.
 A new or favorite activity will help remind both of you why you're in the relationship to begin with., Allowing 20-30 minutes for the conversation should be adequate. This ensures that the talk (or argument) won't go on indefinitely., Invite him to give his side of things, and listen to him as he speaks. Resist the urge to interrupt him, even if what he says bothers you. If you need clarification, ask questions in a neutral tone.
 Non-verbal communication is very important. Sit or stand with your shoulders and knees facing your boyfriend to let him know you're listening to him. Avoid arm-crossing, toe-tapping, and eye-rolling.Touch your boyfriend. Maintaining contact will help keep you grounded in each other despite your differences of opinion. Sometimes it's even best to stop talking for a bit and simply hold each other., We all have emotional needs, and perhaps his are not being met. He may not say this outright, or even consciously realize it himself. Consider how you can better meet these needs in your relationship.


Emotional needs include: security, love, fun, friendship, physical intimacy, control over one's environment, inclusion, self-esteem, status, a sense of achievement, meaning and purpose., Repeating in your own words what you've heard from him helps both of you be sure that you understand his perspective.
 Speak as openly, calmly, and specifically as you can about what's bothering you. If your boyfriend interrupts, gently remind him that you let him speak freely for as long as he needed, and now it's your turn.
 This will almost certainly involve compromise on both parts, but try to find enjoyment in giving something for the benefit of your relationship.
 Make sure each of you understands your part of the plan going forward, how you can non-argumentatively remind each other of your agreement, and what the consequences are if you do not uphold your end of things. Set a date for when you can re-evaluate how well things are going., Some arguments continue in spite of your best efforts. If your boyfriend is saying hurtful things, misinterpreting you, acting arrogant or judgmental, his ego has been hurt and he is behaving this way out of self-protection. Although you may think that by saying or doing the right thing you can bring him around, he's actually not in a state where he's truly receptive to your words and actions., While you cannot change what's happening with the other person, you can take care of yourself. Realizing this helps avoid damaging confrontations. It's okay to walk away from your boyfriend; remember, though, that this is not a punishment to him. Stay receptive and loving, and when he decides to open up, be there to listen.Sometimes a 30-minute break can help both of you calm down. Take a walk, call a friend, or do something else entirely for a good half an hour before returning to your boyfriend., If you can't walk away for whatever reason, disengage from the argument by keeping silent. Listen to your inner feelings instead of fanning the flames with more words.
Decide what you most commonly fight over.
Identify other factors that may contribute to your fights.
Consider your involvement in the problem.
Find solutions that you can live with.
Tell your boyfriend that you want to talk.
Plan to do something fun together after the talk.
Set a time limit.
Let your boyfriend have his say, uninterrupted.
Maintain receptive body language.
Listen for the underlying emotional content of what he says.
Confirm what your boyfriend has said.
Make sure your partner lets you have your say as well.
Decide on what you can both do to reach a positive outcome.
Confirm your agreement.
Accept that you cannot change what is going on in the other person.
Walk away.
Stop talking.
{"src": "wikihow-all_validation", "title": "How to Stop Arguing With Your Boyfriend"}