Though it may be difficult to handle complaints from friends and family all the time, you should try to be a good listener and support those close to you. This means not interrupting the person when they are speaking and not talking over them. You should also focus your attention on them when they are speaking and maintain eye contact with them.Try to also practice active listening, where you listen closely to what the person is saying and then repeat what they said to you back to them. You may say, “What I hear you saying is…” or “I think you are upset because…” Once they have agreed that you have heard what they said correctly, you can respond to them in kind.
For example, maybe your sister is complaining about her boyfriend. Once she has finished speaking, you may say, "What I hear you saying is that you don't like it when Darren stays out all night without calling you or checking in." Your sister should agree that you heard her correctly and you can then respond to her complaint.
 Approaching someone who complains with empathy and compassion will allow the person to feel supported and acknowledged. Simply acknowledging the feelings and concerns of the person complaining can really make them feel that they are being heard and that you care.Show empathy for the person by listening to what they have to say and then stating: “I hear what you’re saying”, or “I can understand why you might be upset.”
The act of showing empathy can also help the person to reflect on their own perspective and attitude. You may say, “I can see why that might be difficult” and the person may take a moment to consider if in fact the issue is really that difficult or dramatic. Taking a moment to consider the reality of the situation may allow the person to put their complaints in perspective and not feel as bad about the situation.
Avoid being sarcastic or mocking of the person complaining, even if you feel their complaints may not be justified. Doing this will only make the person feel worse and could lead to a conflict with them. Instead, try to be compassionate and empathetic to the person as much as you can.
 Once you have listened to the person’s complaint, you should try to offer solutions or advice to help them feel better about the situation. You may suggest that they approach the issue in a certain way or share your own experience in a similar situation.However, it's always nice to ask first. Not only does it confirm whether or not the person really wants advice or not, but also helps the person receiving the advice to remain open and receptive to it.
For example, you may say, "I think you may be missing the positives of the situation" or "Have you considered the upsides of the issue?" You may also make suggestions on how the person can deal with the issue, such as, "Maybe you could try talking to someone with authority about the issue" or "Have you considered letting go of the issue and moving on?"
Keep in mind that though you may offer the person advice or a solution, they may not take it and that is okay. Sometimes, a person is so wrapped up in their situation that they may not be willing or able to take someone else’s advice. You should try to be supportive of the person, even if they do not take you up on your solution.
 Though you should try to listen and support those around you who have complaints, you should also set firm clear limits for yourself. Setting limits around how long you can listen to the person complain and how often you can be the “voice of advice” for them will ensure you do not take on too much of their situation. You may limit the amount of time you set aside to spend with the person or put boundaries around how long you will listen to the person complain.For example, perhaps you have a family member who often complains about the same issues at her work. You may listen patiently to her talk about the issues for ten minutes at the dinner table and then introduce other topics of conversation. Share what’s going on in your life or ask the family member about a more positive aspect of her life.
Setting limits will also allow you to be a good listener and support in the future, as listening to too much complaining all the time can lead to resentment and frustration. You should be clear about your boundaries so you do not end up having to always be the one who listens to the person’s complaints.
Be a good listener.
Show empathy and compassion.
Offer possible solutions and advice.
Set clear limits and boundaries.
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