Genuine openness often comes naturally when you're in an equal, mutually beneficial partnership. However, even in the best relationships, some people have trouble opening up about what makes them tick or what upsets them, so you may still need to work on getting him to open up gradually over time. But a strong foundation will really help.;
, Lead by example in your relationship; be open and honest with him, and share your feelings calmly, without flying off the handle when you're upset. Your boyfriend may feel that opening up about something upsetting will lead to a big fight or upheaval. Show him that you can handle even the curve balls with grace and a cool head, and he may be reassured that he can open up without drama.
 This can be hard in any relationship, especially in the early stages. Building trust takes time, but you can help the process along by being loyal and dedicated to him, not sharing any private information you already know about him with others, and letting him get to know your friends/colleagues and see you interact with them. If you betray his trust now or have done before, he probably will not trust you with anything too personal.
 It may be tempting to try "tricking" your boyfriend into sharing his feelings or experiences with you. However, this doesn't do anything to make your relationship stronger; in fact, it generally hurts your long-term trust. Stay genuine with him instead, and you'll see a big impact over time.
 Pick a calm time; don't try to get him to open up during a fight or disagreement; even if he does open up in the heat of "battle," it'll be tinged by the strength of emotion at the time, and you may not like what he has to say when he's heated. Instead, work on talking about both your feelings and experiences in a calm moment when you're alone together.
 Maybe put your arm around him or snuggle with him; physical touch can be a strong reminder of the bond between you. The focus isn't on making it sensual, which can be distracting or, at the extreme, even manipulative. Only use physical closeness to reflect the warmth between you and provide some comfort during what might be a difficult conversation.
 If there's something you want your boyfriend to open up about, you can lead the conversation there. However, you want to avoid coming on too strongly or overwhelming him. Gently change the topic or link the topic to a piece of information you would like to know. Try telling him something personal about yourself and ask him to tell you something in return. Say that you trust him, he is likely to tell you that he trusts you (or he might say he is not sure if he trusts you yet, in which case, try to comfort him and let it go for a while and try again soon.). You could say things like:


"I have always wondered why..."
"I would really like to know..."
"I know you find this hard to talk about but maybe if you shared it with me it would help."
"I hate that you shut me out of your personal life; I love you and want to help you."
"Please let me help you..."

, If your lead-in to the conversation doesn't get a good reaction from him, or if he clams up or literally tells you that he doesn't want to talk about it, respect his wishes. Don't push the topic further; just accept that this isn't the right time for him.


Be patient with him and let him tell you in time. The key is be supportive, kind, and patient.
 If your boyfriend does start opening up, make it a meaningful moment. Your goal is not just to dig into his secrets; the goal is to have an honest and open talk about the topic at hand. Don't stop talking as soon as he reveals the feelings or details you were hoping to know. Allow him to talk to you and show your interest in what he has to say. If he is uncomfortable talking about something, respect that and don't talk to him about it unless he wants to. Talk to him and comfort him about whatever he says (good or bad).
 Since opening up can be uncomfortable, you want to avoid a long list of overwhelming "interview-style" questions. Don't interrogate him. Focus on listening to his answers and showing interest. That being said, it is okay to ask questions about how events turned out or how it made him feel. Keep talking as long as he seems to want to.
 The openness doesn't have to stop as soon as this particular conversation is over. If you feel he has more to share or wants to confide in you more, look for more opportunities in future to talk about the topic again. Don't force it, but encourage him to continue being open (about the same topic or others) in the future, and be supportive of what he shares.
 Let him know that he was right to trust you. As tempting as it may be, don't tell your best friends anything he has asked you to keep private.
Build a strong relationship.
Work on your own honesty and emotional interactions.
Show your boyfriend that he can trust you.
Avoid manipulation.
Choose a quiet and appropriate time to talk.
Be close to him.
Guide the conversation but avoid manipulation.
Don't force anything or make him uncomfortable.
Engage in a meaningful conversation.
Ask good questions without prying.
Make it an ongoing dialogue.
Do not abuse his trust by telling anyone.
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