Before you approach your colleague with negative feedback, think about how to structure the conversation. Preparing an outline can help you clearly deliver your message, which will help the recipient focus on and correct the problem. Having a well-planned, sincere conversation will help enact change and spare the recipients feelings and self-esteem.


Write down a draft of what you would like to say to your friend or employee. This will help you create an effective, thoughtful compliment sandwich.;
, Be mindful of your posture when you approach an employee. If you are feeling nervous, remind yourself to strand straight and lean toward the person when you are speaking to them. When in an uncomfortable situation, you may be more likely to physically close off from those around you.Remember to smile, keep your arms at your sides, and avoid crossing your arms and feet.
 Create a comfortable and open conversation by maintaining a calm, steady voice. Relax your shoulders and take deep breathes to create a calm and positive demeanor. Remember to smile throughout the conversation. Studies have shown that smiling also helps reduce anxiety, blood pressure, and your heart rate, which will put you at ease during the critique as well as the recipient.Start the conversation with a friendly greeting and an invitation to sit down. "Hi Derek, please come in and have a seat. How was your weekend?" Speaking in a calm, relaxed tone will help put the employee at ease and will help set up a positive interaction.
 Before delving into a critique, open with a sincere compliment or praise. Beginning with the criticism can create a combative, aggressive situation, and the recipient may be less likely to fully understand your message.Opening with positive feedback helps create a friendly tone that will help set both you and the recipient at ease.


After greeting the employee, give them some positive feedback. "Your manager and I reviewed your finance reports. They are very strong, and you are doing an excellent job."

, Provide the recipient with a thoughtful, genuine compliment that is unique to them. The key to giving a sincere compliment is to be truthful. Do not create a generic compliment that does not apply to your employee, otherwise it may appear contrived and out of place. Providing a sincere, truthful compliment can help build a positive relationship.In addition, showing the recipient that you notice their individual efforts and contributions will make them more likely to react positively.


Use examples of their successful completion of a recent project or task. “You did a great job preparing the agenda for yesterday’s meeting, Jane. I know the material was difficult to organize, and you did a fantastic job. Thanks a lot for your help!”
Highlight the person’s skills or positive attributes when praising them. “Your friendliness and eagerness to help has made the volunteer program a huge success. Thanks for greeting everyone with a smile each morning! I know it makes their day.”

, If you can link the compliment or praise to the criticism, it can make your transition into the critique easier. It will also help create a cohesive, streamlined conversation.


Perhaps your employee is always on time, but it takes them a while to settle in and begin to do their work. “Hi Tom, thanks so much for clocking in on time each day. I know traffic can be really congested at that time, so I appreciate all your efforts to get here. I have noticed that you hang out in the break room afterward for long periods of time before you go to your desk.” When possible, linking the opening compliment to the critique can help drive your message home.
 After opening the conversation on a friendly, positive note, follow-up with a discussion about the problem at hand. Avoid having the conversation in a public place or in the presence of other employees. Address only one or two issues. Do not use this time to list several pieces of negative feedback.Select the most pressing issues and focus on those so that you do not overwhelm the recipient.
 When moving from the compliment to the critique, use transition words to create a more powerful message. Use words like “however,” “regrettably”, or “unfortunately” to indicate a contrast between the two sections.A transition word can help pivot the conversation and ease it into the critique. “I am really thankful that you have offered to help out in the mentoring program. However, some mentees have indicated that you are not responsive to meeting requests. It is important to make time for your mentees to help them along with their projects.”

, Although you are trying to maintain a positive atmosphere and lessen the blow to the employee, you should still be straightforward when discussing the problem. The employee should be aware of the problem and its effects to fully understand why this behavior needs to be corrected going forward.


Be clear and concise when offering the critique. “I was reviewing your expense report from your last business trip to Chicago. I did not approve the after-dinner drinks you shared with our client since our expense policy does not cover alcohol purchases. Please keep that in mind next month when you travel to San Diego.”
Be honest about the effects that the problem has created. “Because you did not check to see if the projector was working in the conference room, the committee was not able to start the meeting on time. We’ve had to push back out budget due date because of this.”

, Once you have addressed the problem, it is important to end the conversation with a compliment. This will help build the recipient’s self-esteem and will encourage them to make the suggested changes going forward. This last compliment will help sandwich the negative feedback, making the overall conversation positive and effective.


Wrap up the conversation with encouragement about any upcoming project. “I saw your draft for next month’s presentation. It looks fantastic! The topic is really interesting and relevant to our department. I’m really looking forward to it!” This will help build your employee’s confidence, which will help them strive to do great work.
Remind the employee that this problem is not detrimental to their progress at the company, if applicable. “I’m really looking forward to discussing your growth in the company. I think you would be a great addition to the Education Committee. Let’s discuss this option at the end of the quarter.”

, Be sure to check in a few days later. Ask if they have any questions or concerns or if they have resolved the issue. Let them know that you are available for a meeting to discuss possible solutions., If you frequently use the compliment sandwich to offer feedback or criticism, the recipient will notice and may perceive your compliments as disingenuous and insincere.In addition, the recipient may expect to hear criticism each time you pay them a compliment or offer praise.This may make your future attempts to provide feedback ineffective.
 Sandwiching a major problem between two compliments could mask the severity of the negative feedback.Be sure that you are not downplaying the problem and focusing too much on the compliments and praise. This can weaken the recipient’s understanding that there needs to be improvement

, If you have discussed a reoccurring issue or if the employee’s behavior is cause for serious concern, avoid using the compliment sandwich. It may cause the recipient to think that the problem is not that pressing, important, or crucial. Address unsafe, unhealthy, destructive, or recurrent issues in private with the employee.
Prepare your message.
Use positive body language.
Speak in a calm voice.
Open with positive feedback.
Be sincere.
Tie in a compliment that is related to the criticism.
Follow-up with the critique.
Use transition words.
Be honest.
End the conversation with praise.
Follow-up with the person.
Use the compliment sandwich sparingly.
Avoid lessening the problem.
Be direct with your employee about serious matters.
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