Do not try to force the other person to eat. Don’t bribe your loved one to eat more, or use threats to compel behavior. Sometimes, anorexia is a response to a lack of feeling control over one’s own life. Engaging in a power struggle or taking control away from your loved one may only make the problem worse.Don’t try to “fix” your loved one’s problem. Recovery is as complex as the eating disorder. Trying to “fix” your loved one on your own may do more harm than good. Encourage him/her to see a mental health professional, instead.
 Anorexia often involves a great deal of shame and embarrassment for the person suffering from it. Even if well-meaning, commenting on your loved one’s appearance, eating habits, weight, etc., can trigger his/her feelings of shame and disgust.


Compliments are also unhelpful. Because the person is dealing with a distorted body image, s/he is unlikely to believe you. S/he may interpret even positive comments as judgment or manipulation., If your loved one comments that s/he feels “fat,” it’s important not to respond by saying things like, “You’re not fat.” This only reinforces the unhealthy idea that “fat” is something innately bad that should be feared and avoided.Similarly, do not point out thin people and comment on their appearance, such as “Nobody wants to hug a bony person.” You want your loved one to develop a healthy body image, not focus on fearing or diminishing one particular type of body.
Instead, ask your loved one where those feelings are coming from. Ask what s/he thinks s/he would gain by being thin, or what s/he fears about feeling overweight.
 Anorexia and other eating disorders are highly complex and often co-occur with other illnesses, such as anxiety and depression. Peer and media pressure may play a role, as may family and social situations. Saying things such as “If you would just eat more, things would be fine” ignore the complexity of the issue your loved one is struggling with.


Instead, offer your support with “I”-statements: “I realize this is a tough time for you” or “Eating differently can be hard, and I believe in you.”

, The struggle to be “perfect” is a common factor in triggering anorexia. However, perfectionism is an unhealthy way of thinking that hampers your ability to adapt and be flexible, a crucial part of success in life.It holds you and others to an impossible, unrealistic, and ever-shifting standard.Do not expect perfection from your loved one or yourself. Recovering from an eating disorder may take a long time, and both of you will have times when you act in a way that you regret.


Acknowledge when one of you slips up, but don’t focus on it or beat yourself up for it. Instead, focus on what you can do going forward to avoid similar mistakes.
 However, you do not want to help promote your loved one’s behavior. Anorexia may cause early death in up to 20% of its sufferers.It’s important to encourage your loved one to get help.


Understand that your loved one may initially be angry with you or even reject you for suggesting s/he needs help. This is common. Just continue to be there for your loved one and let him/her know that you support and care for him/her.
Refrain from trying to control the other person’s behavior.
Avoid commenting on the other person’s behavior and appearance.
Avoid “fat-shaming” or “skinny-shaming.” The healthy body weight for each person may differ.
Avoid simplifying the matter.
Avoid perfectionistic tendencies.
Do not promise to “keep it a secret.” It may be tempting to agree to keep your loved one’s disorder a secret in order to gain his/her trust.
{"src": "wikihow-all_validation", "title": "How to Tell if Someone Is Anorexic5"}