You absolutely must let go personally and let other kind people take the flak and fix the problems for you. Hence, this is why it is important to have some of your trusted party alerted to taking on this role. Some of this role should also be devolved to bridesmaids and groomsmen. Things not to do as bride and groom:


Avoid running around wondering where cousins Fred and Sierra have managed to get lost on the way to the wedding. That's entirely your cousins' problem, not yours.
Making comments about lateness or rude behavior as part of your speech is a complete no-no. This is a day for happiness, enjoyment of the moment and glazing over at any mishap.
Personal mercy dashes to anyone who loses it because they wished they'd married you/hate weddings/wish you'd never sat them next to an ex or a particular relative, and so on and so forth. At the time of the wedding, they are no longer your problem; let someone else deal with it.
 Whether or not you could term this type of guest as "unruly" is debatable but if their absence leaves a gaping hole and causes others to whisper loudly, then it's possibly disruptive and if it causes you personal distress, then it is disruptive. It's probable that someone besides you is worried, annoyed or bothered about this absence. Let that person do the worrying and chasing up for you. In terms of your own response, save that for after the wedding, when the missing guests had better hope their excuse is a good one.



After the wedding or honeymoon, and before losing your temper with a no-show, be aware that their absence may have been as the result of an accident, a family death or a natural disaster. All other reasons probably smack of shirking responsibility, especially if they forgot or couldn't handle the thought of meeting an ex, and you're justified in being just a bit peeved.
 You've done your best to vet possible issues, you've shored up some trusted people to handle anything haywire and yet, someone still slips through the net and declares that the wedding can't go ahead because they're still deeply in love with you or they're claiming the groom's a clone from outer space. Breathe deeply, stay calm and keep smiling. In other words, carry on.


Alert venue staff and attendants that there is a "big problem" that they need to deal with immediately. Briefly explain what is happening, who the person is and ask them to kindly deal with it, as fast as they can.
Wink or whatever else it is you've agreed upon, at your trusted group. Set them in action to "fix things".
Avoid letting family members who already have issues with the unruly guest get involved. This will only cause to escalate the situation and turn a small disturbance into a possible farce. Either go back to the trusted friends or to staff; the more neutral the people dealing with the unruly guest, the better. If you have someone from outside the party handling the manner, the unruly guest may be more likely to either calm down or simply leave.
 If the party is almost over, everything is winding down and you're about to skip off to Patagonia for the honeymoon, then the harm is probably well and truly passed. If the behavior is more celebratory, you may want to try to ignore it and let them have their fun; it might even be an amusing or (nicely) memorable end to the evening. On the other hand, if the behavior means that the party is getting too revved up and there's a risk of harm to the venue or other people, get help fast to put a stop to it.
Realize this––as bride and groom, you will be too busy to be wrapped up in dealing with missing guests, angry guests, crazy guests, or guests with attitude problems.
Forget no-shows on the day.
Don’t panic if someone gets too crazy at your wedding or your reception.
Take into account the hour when the guest(s) have become unruly.
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