Courts may order mediation once custody proceedings have begun, but you can also use a mediation service to settle your custody arrangements out of court. Mediations are conducted by trained professionals who can help you and the other parent come to an agreement regarding your child’s custody.Mediation is a neutral process. The mediator will help you and the other parent come to a decision that is in the child’s best interest.
Even if you are unable to come to an agreement in this process, mediation can help you come to an understanding of the main issues in the custody dispute. It can also help you prepare a plan for how to proceed in court, if necessary.
Many courts offer mediation counseling or referrals to trained mediators.;
, Filing for custody is not something you want to try to handle by yourself. You'll want to hire someone familiar with your state's custody laws to help you file the right paperwork and include information that will help you get sole custody. If you fill out the forms incorrectly or leave out important information, you might not end up with a custody agreement that meets your and your child's needs.


Ask your friends, family and colleagues for a recommendation. It is especially helpful if these people have been in a similar situation. These referrals are often useful because you can have some idea of what to expect from the attorney before you meet with him/her.
Look for a reputable lawyer with several years of experience in family law, especially those who have helped parents work out custody agreements.
To find an attorney in your state, call your state bar association and ask for a referral, or look online at the state bar website under the “referral” section.
Before scheduling a consultation, check with your state bar association to confirm that the attorney you’re considering is eligible to practice in your state. You will also be able to see whether the attorney has a disciplinary record., Although many lawyers charge a small fee for a consultation, it is worth it to find the right attorney who will best handle your custody case. Consider these questions you might ask a potential attorney to determine whether he or she is right for you:"How long have you practiced domestic relations and custody law?" You should be looking for three to five years of experience.
"Have you ever handled matters like mine before?" Here, you want the attorney’s answer to be yes; that he or she has handled at least 50 custody matters; and has handled custody matters in the past year.
"What are the possible outcomes?" The lawyer should have no problem explaining the possible outcomes of your case to you in an easily understandable way.
"Do you know the local domestic relations/family court judges?" You should hire a lawyer who knows the local judge(s) who will be handling your custody case.
"How will you keep me informed of the progress my case is making?" Here, you want to make sure the attorney will communicate with you regularly over email, by phone or in person.
"How much will you charge? And what will the fee cover?" You should discuss the attorney’s fee before you hire the lawyer. Make sure that the fee includes expenses and court costs (such as filing fees), and make sure the attorney is upfront and clear about what services he/she is charging you for.
"Can I have the names and contact information from prior clients to hear about their experience?" The attorney should have no problem giving you the names of past clients to talk to.
 Do not choose someone that makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, regardless of the person's experience or ratings.


If you are unable to afford an attorney, consider finding a local legal aid program that can find a low-cost attorney to take your case or give you advice. For instance, in Alabama, the Alabama Volunteer Lawyers Association often takes domestic relations cases on a pro bono basis. It also runs a weekly clinic at the state’s domestic relations courthouses.A number of law schools operate “legal clinics” that offer low-cost legal services to the community. These clinics are usually run by law faculty and attorneys who are training law students. The type of services offered by these clinics varies. If you have a law school in your area, contact the school to see if it runs a legal clinic and/or offers family justice services. For example, the Law School at Northwestern operates a Children and Family Justice Center as part of its Bluhm Legal Clinic., Each state handles child custody arrangement cases differently, but each requires that you file the appropriate petition. The type of petition you file is determined by your specific circumstances. Visit or call the court clerk to get the information you need regarding the appropriate petition. Tell the clerk that you want to schedule a child custody hearing and ask how to file a petition to start the procedure. These petitions might apply to your case:Petition to revise or update a petition that is already in place. If a court-ordered child custody agreement already exists, you will need to file a motion to alter that agreement.
Petition to establish custody. If there has never been a court proceeding to award custody to either parent, you will need to file this type of petition.
Petition to establish paternity and install custody. If you are a father whose paternity is in doubt, you must file a petition with the courts to mandate a paternity test before your custody requests will be considered.
 In most cases, your attorney should help you fill out and file the paperwork for you. Just in case the attorney doesn't, keep these factors in mind:


Many courts provide a template for you to use to outline exactly how you want the legal and physical custody to be delegated. To find out whether your state provides a template, ask the court clerk or check on the local court's website.
If custodial rights were already settled, you'll need to explain why you want to make a change.
The court will ask for specifics about every aspect of your child's care. You must answer in appropriate detail. This will explain the extent to which you held the responsibilities of caregiver.
You should make two copies of the forms; one set for your records and the other set for the other parent involved. The court will keep the original.
In most cases, you will need to pay a fee when filing papers with a court. If you cannot afford to pay the court filing fees, contact the court to see if you are eligible for a fee waiver. Many states will provide waivers to low-income households. For example, in California, you are eligible for a fee waiver if:

You receive public benefits (e.g., SNAP, Medicaid); OR
Your household income falls beneath a minimum threshold (e.g., $2,092.71 per month for a family of three); OR
The court rules that you are eligible for a waiver due to your income.
 For the case to proceed, you need to make the other parent aware that you are requesting a change in custody. The process for serving someone varies from state to state, but you will not be able to serve the papers yourself. You may either make a request for service through the courthouse or hire a service company to do the job.
Consider mediation.
Begin looking for an attorney.
Schedule a consultation and ask questions before you hire the attorney.
Select an attorney that you feel comfortable working with.
Visit your local court clerk.
Fill out the paperwork and file your proposal for full custody (if applicable).
Serve the other party with a notice of your petition for a child custody arrangement.
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