If you are able to, take a short mental break and focus on something else to help you remain calm. You may need to check out mentally for a few minutes, call up a friend and talk for a while, or distract yourself with something in your environment.For example, if your boss says something infuriating in a department meeting, and you don’t want to confront them, you could start thinking about what you want to make for dinner that night. You could start preparing a mental grocery list.
As long as you’re not being rude (for example, if you’re in a one-on-one conversation) you could pull out your phone and play a game on it for a few minutes to remain calm. This might work if you are waiting for a delayed flight or in the waiting room to see your doctor.
 Step back from how you are feeling in the moment and focus on something about the situation that may make you laugh. Sometimes the things we get angry about can be pretty ridiculous!For example, if you are arguing with someone whose appearance always reminds you of a donkey, you could imagine yourself arguing with an actual donkey.
Sometimes you might find yourself arguing that, upon reflection, is really silly. It can be helpful to diffuse the situation by calling it to the other person’s attention as well. For example, “Why are we arguing about what the baby is wearing? She is going to spit up on it in an hour anyway!”

, Do you find yourself getting angry at the same things, or around the same time each day? Think about what you can do to alter your behavior the next time you bump into this scenario, or how you can avoid it entirely in the first place.For example, getting everyone out the door in the morning to work and school can be a huge hassle. You may always be running late, or your kids consistently oversleep, and you start your day off stressed out. You may often find yourself losing your temper.
Find ways you can avoid the triggering situations, or reduce the likelihood that the situations will make you angry. Using the example of the rushed morning, you could wake up earlier, put alarm clocks in your kids’ rooms, or shower the night before.
When you find yourself getting angry by the usual situation, you could think to yourself, “I am always getting mad at this time of day. I am always going to feel stressed out when this happens. It will be over in a few minutes, I don’t need to get angry.” You can also try using some relaxation techniques like deep breathing and meditation to prepare yourself.
 If you feel yourself getting irritable, fidgety, anxious, sweaty, or whatever physical symptoms you normally have when angry, try to find a way to take remove yourself from the situation before you get even angrier. Learn the physical cues you feel when you start getting upset.For example, you always feel your heart pounding and a tightness in your chest when you get angry. Pay attention to your body and know you need to take steps to stay calm if you begin to feel that way.
Try to excuse yourself for a few minutes to regroup. You could go to the bathroom or step outside for a second to collect yourself.
If you are not able to step away from the situation, but are feeling yourself angering, you could try a quick relaxation technique or taking some deep breaths.
 Most likely, you try your best most of the time, and do your best to generally treat other people with kindness and courtesy. Understand that most people are just like you, doing their best and trying not to step on anyone else’s toes. So when you find yourself getting angry, stop and think about how, most likely, this person is just trying to get through their day, the same as you are, and likely doesn’t mean to cause you trouble.For example, you could tell yourself, “Jamie is just a child, that’s why he keeps asking you the same question,” or “Mary likes to chat with everyone, that’s why she’s coming over again while you’re working.” You might also remind yourself of times when you have lost your temper to have some compassion for other people who are going through the same thing.
This is an especially good thing to keep in mind when you are dealing with low-level customer service representatives who have little power in their ability to change policies. If you are frustrated with the level of service you are receiving, you could say, “I understand that you probably do not have the power to change this policy. I am not angry at you, but at the situation. Can you please direct me to someone who can better help me manage this problem?”

, Correct your thought patterns and avoid using “always” or “never” when describing a person or situation to yourself. These words will make you feel more quick to anger because you will feel like your anger is justified.Telling someone “You always do this” or “You never do that” will also put them on the defensive and escalate an argument and anger.
Instead of saying (to yourself or to another person) “You never throw your dirty laundry in the hamper!” you could say, “I had to pick up Bill’s socks again. It makes me mad when he does this.”
Distract yourself.
Find humor in the situation.
Look at patterns.
Pay attention to how you are feeling.
Give people the benefit of the doubt.
Avoid thinking in extremes.
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