You will never get table service in a pub for drinks. Well, let’s not say never. You will get table service in the occasional snooty London wine bar. Suffice to say that if you don’t look at the drinks menu and think, “Are these prices for bottles or glasses?” then you’re not getting table service. You’re also unlikely to find a drinks menu on your table––to find out which drinks they have, you generally need to go to the bar and look at the beer taps. They may also have some sort of board on the wall showing beer and wine. On the up side you will never be expected to tip for drinks. Once you’ve decided what you and your party want to drink, someone will have to go to the bar and buy the round.;
, Customers waiting at the bar are rarely served in the order in which they arrived. The most reliable method for being served promptly is to stand close to the bar (perhaps leaning gently on it, but not right over it) and smile as often as possible at a bartender of your choice. Things that will get you served faster than average are:


Being attractive, and of the opposite sex to the bar person
Being tall
Knowing the bar person

,
Know that there is no table service.
Know the art of getting served.
Things that will get you served slower than average are:


Shouting or whistling
Waving money
Leaning right over the bar
Being noticeably drunk (unless also attractive, in which case this may be a positive feature)
Being small
Being clearly a part of an enormous group and therefore about to try to buy seventeen drinks, a third of which you’ve forgotten already and another third of which you’re going to have to shout back to your friends to find out what they want
Sounding English (in Scotland)
Sounding Scottish (in England)
Sounding French (universal)
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