Have this conversation with your child at a time when you won't be rushed. Also, hold the discussion in a place where he or she feels comfortable.


Never ask your child about sexual abuse in front of the abuser.



Note that asking your child if someone is "hurting" him or her may not lead to the information you are looking for. Because sexual abuse can feel good to the victim, a child may not understand how to answer this question.



Reassure him or her that he or she will not get in trouble for anything told to you.
Remain calm, even if your child comes forward with allegations of sexual abuse. A child may misinterpret your anger toward the abuser as anger toward him or her.
 Many abusers rely on a child's willingness to remain silent by telling their victim that what has happened between them is a secret.
 If necessary, consult with a trusted professional (i.e. a pediatrician, therapist, or law enforcement officer) who is experienced in handling sexual abuse allegations.
 Remind your child that you are always available to talk about his or her safety and that you will do whatever it takes to ensure his or her safety.
 If your child tells you that he or she has been abused, immediately contact local authorities. Do not directly contact the abuser or the institution where the abuse occurred (i.e. school or church).
Choose a time and location carefully.
Ask your child if anyone has been touching him or her in an unsafe manner or in a way that makes him or her feel uncomfortable.
Use a nonjudgmental tone when discussing sexual abuse with your child.
Explain to your child that it is okay to disclose a secret, even if an adult has made him or her promise not to do so.
Believe your child - children rarely make false allegations of sexual abuse.
Follow-up with your child, especially if your suspicions persist but he or she does not reveal sexual abuse.
Take sexual abuse allegations seriously.
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