Talking about spanking may be difficult for both you and your parents. When and where you have the conversation is important. You want to pick a time and place that allows for open dialogue.Know when your parents are not busy. You want to pick a time to talk when everyone is free of outside obligations. If both your parents are typically home on Tuesday evenings, this may be a great time to talk.
Eliminate distractions. Do not talk with the television on or with your smart phones out. Let your parents know you would like to have a somewhat serious discussions and ask that they leave outside distractions behind.;
, You should go into the conversation with a potential outcome in mind. Think about what solution or compromise you're looking to get out of this conversation. You should also identify your personal feelings about the conversation.Figure out how you feel. You may feel nervous about talking to your parents about spanking. You may worry they'll feel they're being insulted or otherwise disrespected. It's okay to acknowledge you're nervous, but try not to let feelings of apprehension inhibit your ability to have the conversation.
Think about what you want from the conversation. You obviously want your parents to understand why you feel the way you do, so it can help to write out your thoughts ahead of time. It may also help to address some possible solutions to the problem at hand. For example, maybe your parents could agree to cut back on spanking or try alternative types of punishment.
 Explain to your parents on no uncertain terms what your issues are regarding spanking. Be direct about your feelings, as well as changes you would like to make in your relationship.Be brave and start off the conversation by clearly and directly expressing yourself. For example, you can say something like, "I know you use spanking as a form of punishment a lot, but I feel like I'm getting too old for it. I would like to talk about moving away from spanking as a form of punishment."
Explain what your opposition to spanking is. Do you feel embarrassed by it? Is it physically painful? Do you feel nervous at the prospect of getting spanked, to the point you're experiencing undue stress?

, It's important to listen as much as you talk in the situation. You do not want your parents to feel attacked or judged. Listen to how your parents explain and defend their behavior. Try to understand so your parents feel heard.Your parents may have reasons for disciplining you the way they do. They may have been spanked as children, and may feel the punishment was effective for them. This may be why your parents have adopted a pro-spanking stance in the present. They also may feel spanking has been effective throughout your childhood to improve your behavior and make you understand the consequences of your actions.
Try to be as mature as possible. Your parents are much more likely to be impressed and receptive if they feel like you're making the effort to hear their side. For example, say something like, "I appreciate you guys wanting to make sure I grow up with good values. I understand you feel spanking helps me develop as an adult." Allowing your parents to feel heard during a discussion can help both of you move forward to find an alternative solution.
 There are many ways your parents can discipline you that do not entail spanking. Keep in mind your parents want to see you grow and mature as a child, and may feel spanking can help you become a better person and understand actions have consequences. In order to get your parents to ease up on the spanking, ask them if they'd be willing to try alternative forms of punishment.As your parents want you to use consequences, tell them you'd be happy to accept punishments related to what you did wrong. If you failed to turn in a homework assignment on time, for example, tell your parents you'd be happy to stay in that weekend and do your homework instead of seeing your friends.
You could also ask your parents for less physical forms of traditional punishment, like being sent to your room, over spanking.
Show your parents you're more than willing to accept the consequences for your actions. You would just prefer those consequences not come in a physical manner. If your parents see you genuinely want to learn to behave, they may lighten up on things like spanking as a form of punishment.
 Your parents may not see eye-to-eye with you on the issue of spanking. Unfortunately, your parents may firmly believe in the benefits of spanking to prevent misbehavior and teach you actions have consequences.Your parents may not agree to stop spanking completely. However, if you're mature throughout the conversation, and respectfully express your point of view, they may agree to not use spanking as a primary form of punishment.
If your parents are strict, however, there's a chance they will not want to change their behavior. Try to accept this. In a few months, you can bring up the issue again and see if your parents have changed their minds with time.
 In the event your parents stick to their spanking policy, avoid whining or complaining. If you approach the situation maturely, your parents are far more likely to take your concerns seriously. Throughout the conversation, maintain a mature tone.Your parents are more likely to listen if you remain calm. If you feel frustrated by something that's being said, hold in your emotions for now. Later on, you can punch your pillow or go for a long walk to get out your frustrations.
 One way to prevent spanking is by living up to your parents' expectations. Work on staying organized. This can keep you up-to-date on school assignments, as well as your household chores.Make a list of things you'll need for school and for the coming week. You can do this on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. For example, say you have a book report coming up. You'll need the book your reading, a notebook to take notes, and pens and pencils. You will also need supplies for the final copy, like a cover for your report.
Do a little organizing of your room. Have a separate space for toys, DVDs, computer supplies, and so on. You can use old boxes to help you organize the important items in your home.
You can ask your parents for a calendar in your room. You can use the calendar to mark important dates for school. Mark when tests are coming up and when assignments are due.
 Make sure you do what's expected of you every day. If you stay on task with your chores, your parents will have less reasons to punish you.Try making a list of the chores you have to do each day. You may be expected to clean your room on Saturday, or to do the dishes after dinner on Friday. Meet your parents expectations for your behavior on any given day of the week.
Prioritize how you'll get things done. For example, plan on always doing your homework after school so you know you won't be up late working. You can also incorporate time for small breaks throughout the day to keep you from becoming fatigued. For example, after an hour of math homework, agree to give yourself 15 minutes to listen to music.
 If you have a big task that you need to do, like organizing your room, make a plan. If your parents see you're being responsible and taking initiative when it comes to your chores, they'll have less reason to punish you via spanking.Break big tasks into small chunks. For example, say you have to organize your room. You could break your room down into four sections and plan to tackle one section at a time, taking breaks in between.
Making plans in regards to staying up to date on chores and other obligations can prevent disagreements between you and your parents. This can greatly cut down on the incidents of spanking.
 If you tend to be an emotional person, this can cause outbursts. You may lash out when you're angry, yelling at your parents or fighting with your siblings. These actions could result in spankings. If this is the case, try talking to your school counselor and ask for help developing healthier ways to deal with your emotions. If you can use what you learn to cut down on outbursts, this can result in less spanking.Some strategies your school counselor might recommend include:



Getting more physical exercise. When you're feeling angry or stressed, try going for a walk or a run instead of lashing out.

Writing down your feelings. When you're feeling angry, get a pen and paper and vent in your diary rather than yelling at a family member.

Taking a break. If you're arguing with a parent or sibling, and you begin to get hostile, take a break. Walk away from the situation and take some time to calm down. Go to your room to be alone and read a book. You can better address the issue when you are calm.
 In rare cases, spanking can be a symptom of child abuse. If your parents use spanking heavily, to the point it greatly pains you, you may be in an abusive situation. Learn to recognize the signs of abuse so the situation can be addressed.Spanking may come with other forms of physical violence if you are in an abusive situation. Your parents may also hit, kick, choke, or otherwise physically harm you if angry. These actions may leave marks like bruises or scratches.
Verbal and emotional abuse may also happen in conjunction with physical abuse. Your parents may yell at you, call you mean names, put you down, or threaten to leave you or kick you out. While parent/child arguments are a normal part of growing up, if your parents are constantly berating you in a manner that makes you feel threatened, you may be a victim of emotional abuse.
 If you believe you are being abused, talk about this with a trusted adult. An adult should be able to help you find the resources necessary to cope with the situation.Who you feel comfortable telling will depend on the situation. You may have another adult relative, like an aunt or uncle, you feel close to. You also may be close to a teacher in your school or the parents of a close friend.
Let the person you choose know you need to talk about something in private. If you're unsure whether the spanking qualifies as abuse, simply tell the adult what happened or has been happening. The adult should be able to asses the situation and offer you the necessary help.
 You may not have an adult you feel you can trust in this situation. If you do not know a lot of adults besides your parents, call the hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD. A crisis worker will be able to help you assess the situation and get you the help you need.If you don't have a cell phone, you may have to wait until your parents are out of the house to use the phone. Make sure you choose a time when your parents will be gone for awhile, as the conversation could be lengthy.
Choose a time and place to talk.
Figure out what you want from the conversation.
Express your feelings clearly.
Listen to your parents' point of view.
Suggest other forms of punishment.
Try to maturely accept your parents' answer.
Avoid arguing or complaining.
Get organized.
Stay focused on daily tasks.
Make plans for yourself.
Talk to your school counselor.
Recognize physical abuse.
Talk to a trusted adult.
Call a hotline service.
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