Remember that not everyone shares the same perspective on sex. If you've never talked to your friends about safe sex before, you might find out that their perspective is quite different from your own. It's important to realize that the purpose of this conversation isn't to pass judgment on another person's perspective. Instead, listen with curiosity to what your friend shares.By participating in honest conversations about safe sex, you might learn new ideas.
If you're having this conversation because you're concerned about your friend's safety with sex, make sure you stick to that topic. For example, "I'm worried that you might catch a sexually-transmitted disease," is better than, "I hate it when you act like a slut."

, Look at your friend while she's talking, and ask questions to clarify anything you don't understand. Repeat your friend's words in your own language so that your friend can confirm that you've understood what she said.Avoid giving advice that's not asked for, or making statements that dismiss your friend's experience.
Further the conversation by asking open-ended questions, like, "How did you feel about what happened?"

, You should plan to stick to sharing your own observations about your friend's behavior when you're having this discussion. If you've noticed your friend engaging in risky behavior, provide specifics. It's possible that she hadn't realized her behavior was unsafe.If you've had experiences that are similar, it's okay to bring these up as well.
Avoid bringing other people's perspective into the conversation, because that will make your friend feel like others are ganging up on her. For example, saying things like, "My other friend was saying how freaked out she was by your behavior last week," is unlikely to further your conversation.
If your friend gets defensive, don't argue with her by bringing up other people who support you. It's okay to say, "I hear you, and I care about you."

, Saying things like, "You always..." or "You never..." is likely to make your friend feel defensive. Instead, stick to situations that you can talk about in specific ways. For example, "Last Thursday, when we were out together, I was worried when you decided to leave with someone you'd just met that night."It will help to provide specific reasons why you're concerned, from your own perspective.
Remember to remind her that you're concerned about her health and safety. If you can, try to stay on topic without getting emotional.
 If she's genuinely surprised, you can help provide her with good information about safe sex. If she's defensive and angry, it might be because she's embarrassed. If she laughs it off, remind her that STDs and HIV are serious issues, but don't pressure her to talk more about it.Reassure her that you're not mad at her, and that you're only trying to be helpful.
Make sure you offer to help her access more information about safe sex, including where to get condoms.
 Be ready to help your friend consider safer sexual habits, if she seems open to your help. For example, if she's willing to go with you to the health clinic and get tested, be prepared to call and make an appointment. Or, better yet, take her to a clinic right away.If drinking or drugs are contributing to the issue of safe sex, have the phone numbers or locations of organizations that can help her learn to live sober.
Don't be too bossy. Instead, let her guide this part of the conversation. Your friend is the best decider of what she's ready to change.
Remember that she might not be ready for your help yet. Some people take longer to process information than others. Don't be surprised or put off if your friend doesn't ask for your help right away.
Don't be judgmental.
Use good listening skills.
Talk only about what you've seen.
Avoid overgeneralizations.
Pay attention to your friend's reaction.
Help your friend plan new behaviors.
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