Death is not easy to talk about, and many people have trouble bringing up the subject. But avoiding the topic because it makes you uncomfortable isn't going to help out your friend. You may think that talking about other topics will be a good distraction, but your grieving friend won't find it easy to laugh at jokes or talk about random subjects. Ignoring the biggest issue in your friend's life is not the way to support him or her, so be brave enough to bring up the topic instead of awkwardly acting like it didn't happen.


Don't be afraid to say the word "died." Don't say "I heard what happened." Say "I heard the news that your grandmother died." When you say what's true, even if it's painful, you're showing your friend that you're willing to talk about the hard things in life. Your friend needs someone who gets it and is capable of going there.
Name the person who died. Saying the person's name might cause tears to come, but it will help your friend to know the person who died still matters to other people.;
, Tell your friend how sorry you are about the fact that his or her relative died. Telling your friend that you're sorry and you love him or her will help your friend feel comforted. Giving your friend a hug or touching him or her on the shoulder can also help communicate your sorrow for what your friend is going through. Say the words "I'm sorry."


If you knew the person who has passed away, share memories of that person with your friend, and list the good qualities of that person. Remembering the good of that person can help your friend feel a bit better about the loss they're enduring.
If you and your friend are religious, offer to pray for him/her and his/her family. If they are not religious, say that you are thinking of them and are deeply sorry for their loss.
 Since death is so hard to talk about, it can be difficult to express your true feelings to your friend. But using one of the dozens of cliches people say to make talking about death easier isn't actually going to be very helpful. If you tell your friend your honest feelings, you'll sound more sincere, and your friend will be more likely to turn to you when he or she needs someone to listen.


Avoid saying things like "She's in a better place," or "She'd want you to be happy right now." You don't actually know that, do you? Hearing these empty statements isn't very helpful.
If you're having trouble putting your feelings into words, it's ok to say something along the lines of "I just don't know what to say. I can't express how sorry I am."

, You might assume this would be a common question, but many people are a little afraid to ask or just don't want to deal with the answer. When your friend is at work or with acquaintances, he or she probably has to pretend like everything's ok. That's why as the person's friend, giving him or her the space to talk can be really helpful. You'll need to be ready to accept your friend's answer, even if it's difficult to hear.


Some people might not want to be asked how they're feeling. If your friend doesn't seem to want to talk about it, don't push him or her to say more.
If your friend does decide to open up, encourage him or her to talk for as long as it helps. Don't try to change the subject, or inject cheer into the conversation; just let the person be expressive and release all the emotions he or she normally has to hold back.
 Let the person be himself, no matter what that means. Everyone has different responses to losing a relative, and there's really no right or wrong way to feel. Even if your friend is having a reaction you don't think you would have, it's important to allow the person to express his or her feelings without your judgement.


Be prepared to get to know your friend in a deeper way, and see him or her act in ways you may not be used to. Despair and grief can erupt in many different ways. Your friend might feel denial, anger, numbness, and a million other emotions in response to his or her grief.
 Time might take away the initial sting, but when a close relative dies, life will never be the same. The idea that time heals makes it seem like there's a deadline after which people should feel "normal" again, but for many people that will never happen. Instead of focusing on helping the person "get over" his or her grief, focus on being a source of support and joy in that person's life. Never pressure your friend to mourn more quickly.Forget the "five stages of grief." There is no actual timeline for grief, and everyone handles it differently. While thinking about grief as a series of stages might be helpful to some, for many people it simply doesn't apply. Don't hold your friend to any kind of timeline.
 This common sentiment sounds caring, but it can make people who are grieving feel worse. That's because calling someone brave makes it seem as though you expect them to stand tall even while they're suffering. When someone has lost a relative, they may have times when they stumble and fall. A good friend like yourself shouldn't expect someone to act courageous all the time when his or her world has just been turned upside down.
Acknowledge what happened.
Express concern.
Be genuine.
Ask how the person is feeling.
Don't judge.
Don't say "time heals".
Don't say "you're so brave".
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