Write it down in a list. This is the calm approach to take, instead of just blowing up like TNT in the middle of normal life and letting loose whenever the urge bubbles up.


Consider getting a diary or a locked notebook, or whatever works for you––from an A4 paper to the corner of a wall, writing will help you to work out just what things you really feel like doing to let your feelings out.;
, Remove ideas that are harmful, stupid, thoughtless or plain dangerous. These are your dark thoughts and they're okay, everyone has them but let them stay on paper alone. Don't feed them. For all the positive, nurturing, flourishing, dramatic, wonderful, growing, inspiring and creative things, leave them on the list. They are the direction in which you wish to head, to express your true self. This doesn't mean letting go of the daring, the wild and the vibrant––it just means being realistic and sensible about what is doable, what is safe enough for you and what won't bring harm to others.


If you discover that your aims keep erring toward hurting yourself or others, seek help with a parent, spouse, counselor, therapist or psychiatrist. You cannot remain in this dark place––allowing it to define you can foster pain and hardship; given there are some good ways to handle your darker creative self without giving in to the demons, take the opportunities to do so by letting others help you.
 Then think about how to express those feelings through actions. The actions may be in private, in public; they may be via video or audio, via real life or via art and craft; they might be expressed through sports, a hobby, a shouting festival or eclectic clothing and hair. It's totally up to you how to begin expressing these feelings through actions.
 Once you're happy that you've defined the actions that will give life to your feelings, find the outlets for these feelings. There are many possibilities, and it'll be up to your creative muse to define, refine and act upon them as wished. The following steps provide a few suggestions for ways to act as you feel.
 You might want to shout out who you actually are in a public area, or calmly explain that you are not that type of girl who likes pinky cute dresses to your mom. Punching pillows and not taking no as an answer is also good. In this case. Not in all cases! If you smile and add a That's me after each outstanding action you do might make you seem and be confident.
 Don't wear things because they're fashionable, your friends like them or they're all the rage on Instagram. Wear them because you like the statement that they make for you.


If you must, find a friend who will wear the same clothes and support you until you feel confident enough to do it alone.
 Braid your leg hairs if you wish; who says being hairless is the ultimate form of happiness anyway? Shave them off in strange designs if you'd rather. Just don't change your appearance because you feel the need to conform––treat your appearance as an extension of expressing how you feel and be proud of it.


Makeup is completely individual to you. If you love it, wear it. If you hate it, don't wear it. If you want it on some days and not other days, that's just fine.
If you want long hair, short hair, curly hair, dyed hair, no hair, frizzy hair, gray hair, it's your choice. Just don't cook at the local fast food take-out without a hair net; in other words, be sensible about where and in what form you express yourself.
 There are rules about everything in social life, you don't have to look far to find them and even less further to find those who love to remind you of them. However, a lot of these rules are for the lost, not for utility for one's self-expression. If you want to act as you feel, here are some of the common areas where the rules police can hamper your freedom in ways that aren't very helpful, and you're free to express yourself as you need to:


Grieving: If you wish to grieve over the loss of a loved one for five minutes or five years, that's personal to you; it's how you feel and any arbitrary time limit on how long is long enough or too long is an imposition of someone else's idea of what's right.
Success: Different meanings of success can be found everywhere across countries, across the regions, across the world. While some people may lay claim to a perfect formula of what looks like success, only you can decide that for yourself. If where you are in life right now works for you, that's great––it's okay to be satisfied with the choices you've made at various points in your life.
Parenting: Everyone knows how to be a great parent until they become one. After the children leave home, suddenly they're great parents again. It is telling that those in the middle of the doing the actual parenting get so much advice from people younger and older than them on getting it right, from those yet to know and those who have forgotten just how hard it is. Remember, their rules may have worked for them (or seem good to them) but yours are just as good.
Education: Make up your own mind by using critical thinking and being a good philosopher. Don't abdicate the ability to think for yourself. Reflect on deeper issues often and come up with what you believe, think and value. Listen to others but remember that their rules work for them; let yours, not theirs, define who you are.
 Make this a lifelong process, to express yourself as you feel, in ways that help others to do the same and that are inclusive of others, respectful of yourself and others and that let people see the real you when the moment is right.
Write down everything you think and want to do freely.
Take a look at your aims.
Continue writing until you feel that you've adequately addressed the feelings that truly represent you.
Begin to put your list of feelings as actions into action.
Express yourself through talking, shouting, explaining yourself.
Wear the clothes that you like and care about.
Devote as much or as little time to your appearance as you see fit.
Let your emotions, feelings and opinions have self-determined outlets.
Come up with more of your own actions.
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