Even if your partner cheated on you or hurt you in the worst way possible, you are likely guilty, as well. Ask yourself what you may have done to contribute to your ex’s bad treatment. It may be difficult to admit to any wrongdoing on your part, but if you are honest with yourself, you may find that you displayed certain behaviors that could have caused your partner’s bad treatment.


Your part could be something as small and innocent as having to work more, and this may have caused your ex to feel insignificant to you. Or perhaps you became distant and your ex looked to someone else for companionship or love. Even if what you’ve done didn’t warrant the treatment you received, there’s a good chance you weren’t completely innocent, at least in the eyes of your partner.;
, Sometimes, people look for partners they know will love them, even if they don’t necessarily feel the same way. As such, they may not put in all they could, and the other partner leaves as a result. Even if you saw this relationship as one that was to give you what you needed at the time, you can still feel quite devastated when it ends.For instance, maybe you were in a relationship simply because you feared being single. Perhaps your partner sensed this and became distant from you. Can you think of any ways that your unhappiness or dissatisfaction in the relationship (or even with yourself) could have contributed to the breakup?

, Sometimes it’s hard to have the right perspective unless you are outside of the relationship. Ask people close to you for honest opinions about how you treated your ex. They can likely give you insight into your behaviors and what you may have done wrong.Go to a close friend or family member and say, “I’m trying to get a better understanding about my role in our breakup. Can I trust you to give me an honest assessment of my behavior?”

, Examine why you behave the way you do. You may find that certain situations cause you to act in certain ways. These behaviors may have led to the destruction of your relationship.


Perhaps you shut down when you are confronted, or maybe you fly off the handle when you are accused of doing something wrong. Taking a good look at yourself and figuring out why you respond the way you do, can help you to figure out how to combat these habits., When you endure a breakup, it’s easy to continuously play it out over and over in your head. However, doing so is self-destructive and also prevents you from being able to move on. Stop torturing yourself and realize that obsessing isn’t healthy for you and won’t change the past.


Are you sitting around in your pajamas trying to find the one straw that broke the proverbial camel's back? Maybe you're reliving that last conversation with yourself over and over again. Ruminating like this doesn't solve anything--it only makes you feel worse.
People tend to think more during downtimes. One way to stop yourself from obsessing is to keep yourself busy doing positive activities like setting goals or decluttering your house. You’ll probably start out slow, but overtime you’ll likely find that you are able to stop thinking about the relationship less and less., Do you feel like you always pick the wrong person? Or that you always make the same mistakes in relationships? If so, it’s time to make some changes. Take a good look at the patterns you display in partnerships and ask yourself if making different choices would have made you happier. If so, then figure out what those changes are and implement them.For instance, if you tend to get lost in your relationships and detach from friends and family, you should take the time while you are single to mend those distant relationships. The next time you enter a relationship, be sure to keep nurturing those connections that existed before you met this special girl or guy.
 Even after doing a deep analysis about your behaviors and relationship patterns, you might not be able to gain perspective about your role in a breakup. Talking to a qualified mental health therapist may help you unearth some buried issues of your own that may have contributed to the relationship’s end.


Plus, working with a professional can help you develop healthier, positive habits to assist you in forming relationships in the future.Talk to your doctor about referring you to a therapist. Since your doctor already has an established relationship with you, they might know of a therapist that aligns with your unique needs. Don't hesitate to try out a few professionals before selecting one you like.
 You will likely reach the point in which you are able to admit your faults to others. When this happens, you may want to apologize to your ex for your role in the breakdown of your relationship. You may feel a sense of relief when it happens, especially if you are holding onto any guilt.


Apologizing to your ex, particularly if you have children together, can make your life much easier. You may find that visitation drop offs and pickups are far more pleasant, and you may see that your child’s behavior is positively affected.You might say, "I wanted to take the time to apologize to you. At first, I felt like I was the victim in all of this, but, after doing some thinking, I can see that you were hurt, too. I'm sorry for my part in it."

, Learning from your mistakes is key to moving on in your life. Examine what behaviors you don’t like about yourself or what contributed to the falling out of your relationship. Making changes and then implementing them won’t ensure a perfect relationship, but it gives you a fighting chance.Maybe you find that you jump into physical intimacy too soon when starting a relationship, leading to an unhealthy attachment. Next time around, you might choose to truly get to know the person and develop an emotional attachment to them before progressing to a sexual connection.
 The only way to get closure from a failed relationship is to accept responsibility and then forgive yourself. Doing this will likely take some time and may require real effort. However, it is worth the work and you’ll find that you are able to move on from a failed relationship and find closure.


Forgiving yourself also means that you won’t enter a new relationship with old baggage. Stop beating yourself up and open your eyes and arms to the future. Give yourself a hug and remember that you can only do the best you can with the information you have available. Now that you know better you can do better., Some people view being single as a curse when, in reality, it's a wonderful time to explore you. Take advantage of your unhitched status to rediscover old passions, learn new skills, set objective goals and build fresh connections with the people around you.Use a weekend to see your city from the eyes of a tourist. Check out a restaurant you've never tried. Visit a museum or art gallery.
Pick up a new skill like boxing or crafting. Learn a new language. Take a cooking or sewing class.
Go back to school to finish your degree. Or, sign up for that interesting certification course to enhance your resume.
Join a group class at your gym to meet some new people. Start saying "hi" to the people you pass on the sidewalk.
Assess your part in the breakup of the relationship.
Ask yourself if you were really happy in the relationship.
Talk to others about your mistakes.
Learn why you do what you do.
Stop obsessing.
Make different choices.
See a therapist.
Apologize to your ex.
Ask yourself what you can do differently in the future.
Forgive yourself.
Embrace your single life.
{"src": "wikihow-all_validation", "title": "How to Take Responsibility for Your Role in a Breakup"}