This paper presents a personalised approach to participatory design, where several aspects of the project, such as brief, process and artefacts, are left open to be redefined by the participants, in accordance with their individual needs, preferences and availabilities. Drawing upon person-centred dementia care values, personalisation is seen as an invitation for people with dementia and their families to participate. It is also a way of dealing with the uniqueness of participants, and providing opportunities for meaningful communication, so that social relationships are maintained. This approach emerged from the specificity of involving people with dementia and their families in a participatory design project, in an effort to best include them in a respectful and convivial manner. Relations between use, design and participation, which are in constant negotiation with participants, are analysed and the qualities of this personalised participation, relating to ethics, empathy and conviviality, are outlined.