Marriage continues to be a fundamental institution through which sexual and social relations are forged. However, little is known of the ways in which young men think about negotiating their personal and relational identities within the formalised institution of marriage. This article focuses on African male university students. Theories of 'power' and 'performativity' are used to understand their projections of masculinity within (future) marriage. The young men's gender role expectations, and the ways in which they plan to conform to and/or attempt to disrupt traditional patriarchal messages in their marriage goals, are explored. Gender power inequities in a patriarchal South Africa in which politically and culturally perpetuated social inequality are embedded, have been implicated in the high degree of interpersonal violence. From the projected roles as husbands and fathers that these men hold, many reject violence as a show of power. This is a positive indication of men questioning and reworking gender norms that condone and accept violence against women as normal. Their intentions to subvert the masculinities privileged by patriarchal gender discourses, and thereby redefine gender configurations within intimate relations in contemporary society, are viewed against perceived tensions with upholding traditional conceptions of gender roles. Men's resistances are buttressed by the dominant heterosexual norms (which they feel they benefit from), leading to ambiguity in relationships.