If there exists a song catchier than the theme song for The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, I don't know it. Created by Jeff Richmond (husband to creator Tina Fey and composer for the show) and the Gregory Brothers, the minds behind Songify the News, the song is an auto-tuned wonder spun from the first episode's interview with witness Walter Bankston, played by comedian Mike Britt. And now, thankfully, we have the extended cut. We also have the lyrics:

I was outside cuttin up bike tires with my grandson, when out of nowhere

Forty hundred police vehicles came bookin

They went, busted up in that weird old white dude's house

He had a cult up in there

White dudes hold the record for creepy crimes

But females are strong as hell

Unbreakable!

They alive, dammit!

It's a miracle

Unbreakable!

They alive, dammit!

Females are strong as hell

Unbreakable!

They alive, dammit!

It's a miracle

Unbreakable!

They alive, dammit!

Females are strong as hell

We've been livin here 10 years

Nobody seen no girl

Nobody heard no girl

Nobody smelled no girl

He had them underground

They came out the hole lookin round

Like a bunch of Punxsutawney Phils

And I said, "Nathan, is this for reals?!"

One, two, three, four girls came out

One, two, three, four girls came out