Right about now, Michael Jordan's shaved head would make a wonderful hand warmer or hot plate. Better yet, His Baldness could serve as a science project--Touch here for approximate temperature on face of the sun.

Jordan must be wondering what in the name of 1.8 seconds is Scottie Pippen thinking these days? Here's Jordan, playing with a tender wrist, logging huge minutes, counting the games until the injured Pippen returns to the Bulls' lineup, and then, out of nowhere, comes . . . the Demand.

Pippen wants to be traded. Yesterday.

That isn't the worst of it. According to published reports, Pippen says he is healthy enough to run, jump, dunk and, of course, taunt Bulls General Manager Jerry Krause, whom Pippen despises more than the New York Knicks, Toni Kukoc and steamed aspargus combined. In other words, Pippen is healthy enough to play, or pass another team's physical.

The incredible admission comes during a cruel scheduling stretch in which the Bulls don't return to the United Center until Dec. 5. It also comes as Jordan singlehandedly keeps the Bulls above .500 and above the usual tired silliness of Dennis Rodman.

But this is different. For Pippen to choose this exact moment to demand a trade and betray Jordan's trust is nearly as unforgiveable as his 1.8-second decision of four seasons ago. Never mind the reasons, Pippen's timing reeks of selfishness and spite.

If nothing else, Pippen owes Jordan a certain amount of loyalty. It was Jordan who used an NBA Finals postgame pulpit to campaign for the 1997 return not only of coach Phil Jackson, but also of his friend Pippen. And it is Jordan who constantly reminds us of Pippen's importance to a Bulls team shy of ballhandlers, scorers and defenders.

In return, Pippen has decided to pout, just as he did against the Knicks that strange night in 1994. The only difference is, this time Pippen is wearing street clothes during his temper tantrum.

Jordan deserves better. Pippen's teammates deserve better. Instead, Pippen might soon need another surgical procedure to remove his Cole-Haans from his mouth.

Pippen seethed during the off-season, when his name surfaced in a would-be trade with the Boston Celtics. He was angry with his status as the expenda-Bull. So his revenge is to . . . demand a trade?

And now comes news that Pippen is peeved about a September letter he received from Krause forbidding him to play in his own charity game. Krause allegedly threatened to fine him if Pippen made a cameo on-court appearance.

Yes, well, I can certainly see why Pippen is so upset. His team didn't want him to risk further injuring a foot that would require surgery the next month. That mean, bad Krause. Shame on him for putting the Bulls' season above Pippen's charity game.

There is a chance that Pippen is simply tweaking Krause, playing mind games with a man he so clearly detests. Perhaps this is Pippen's attempt to see Krause squirm in a pool of trading-deadline sweat. After all, there are only 86 more shopping days until the Feb. 19 cutoff date.

If this is Pippen's intent, then he miscalculated. He gains nothing but ridicule by saying such things. He becomes Rodman. He becomes petty.

Then again, Pippen could be serious about his promise never to play for the Bulls. That's a pretty good strategy. In one swift, dim-witted move, Pippen could alienate teammates, management and an entire town. Plus he could make it even harder for the Bulls to trade him.

Why? Because Krause and owner Jerry Reinsdorf are just stubborn enough to keep him. Because until Pippen actually plays again, what interested general manager will risk a trade and invest millions in Pippen? Because some general managers might not want a guy who turns his back on a team twice in four seasons.

I thought Pippen was smarter than this. I certainly thought he was classier than this. Power plays don't become him, especially when he isn't dealing from a position of strength.

Sure, the Bulls have struggled without him. Pippen is an amazing player. But he is 32. He is coming off foot surgery. And he is prone to missing the big picture.

There are better ways to force an issue. Pippen has chosen to draw his line in the sand with a middle finger. What he should have done is remember a certain number.

No. 23