Today is day 30 of a bizarre standoff between dogged nudist Catherine Holmes and the Maryland Health Society, an 79-year-old family nudist park nestled in the pristine woodlands of Davidsonville. Holmes says she's been unlawfully evicted from her cabin for protesting inappropriate sexual activity and refuses to leave the grounds until her case is settled. The club says Holmes is a longtime troublemaker who harasses other nudists and craves attention. The controversy involves a fair amount of cock rings.

There are 260 U.S. nudist clubs and resorts associated with the the American Association for Nude Recreation, the largest and oldest established nudist organization in the country. AANR promotes "nudist family values," meaning ANNR-approved clubs, including the Maryland Health Society (MAHESO), "foster a wholesome, nurturing environment for members and their families," in which "behavior requiring an apology is not tolerated."

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"There's absolutely no public sexual contact at our resorts," said Carolyn Hawkins, AANR's Public Relations Coordinator.

MAHESO promotes itself as a family-friendly hangout; its Facebook page highlights "kiddie play areas" and asks whether visitors have "ever wanted to try social family Nude recreation." According to MAHESO's website, "overt sexual behavior, questionable conduct with children or any other behavior that offends or embarrasses others" is not permitted. People who "enjoy nude recreation" are able to distinguish "between nudity and sex and keep the two in their proper perspective," the etiquette section clarifies. "Clubs are careful about who enters their facility and if anyone seems to be there for the wrong reason, they will be asked to leave."

Holmes, 53, said she started visiting MAHESO a decade ago and signed a 46-year extended cabin rental agreement in 2010 because she loved the property's pine trees and relaxed vibe. But when Vicky Jarboe took over as President of the Board of Directors last fall, everything changed. Holmes never witnessed any public sex acts herself, but she claims multiple friends and guests told her they were approached by "swinging" strangers looking to "play" on the park's grounds. There were rumors of blow jobs in the pool and sex in the forest.

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Holmes also took issue with what she calls "highly sexualized and inappropriate signage," including a sign in front of Jarboe's trailer site that encourages users to masturbate and "blue ball" testicles dangling from Jarboe's golf cart, which also sports a decal of a naked woman. Don't even get her started on Jarboe's husband's "stretchy" cock ring, which Holmes said he once unsnapped in front of her. Holmes also alleges that she was verbally and "almost physically" assaulted by a drunk member over a swinger discussion that fall.

"I don't care what goes on behind closed doors," Holmes said, adding that some of her best friends are swingers. "But when people report blow jobs in the pool at the same time the park is talking about starting a youth camp, that makes me feel uncomfortable."

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In late December, Holmes told the Board that she was planning on selling the remaining years on her extended term rental agreement as soon as possible. So she was confused when they sent her an email on January 10 accusing Holmes of advising visitors to stay away from members who were "swingers" and inviting her to a meeting to address their concerns. "Please let's discuss my exit strategy," she wrote. "I thought the Board had more pressing matters than quizzing a departing member about comments allegedly made last year..." Fine, the board said; they wouldn't renew her 2013-14 membership.

In April, Holmes changed her mind; she didn't have time to sell her lease, so she figured she'd stay on another year. But the Board wasn't interested in taking her back. According to court filings, they told Holmes she could use her rental unit but not the park's facilities or surrounding woods. When Holmes stuck around, they decided to revoke her rights under the rental agreement, given that she was no longer "a member in good standing." When Holmes continued to use the grounds, MAHESO called the cops on her for trespassing. In late July, Holmes found a padlock and a "No Trespassing" sign on her cabin door; since then, she's been sneaking in through a window (and sent us a "butt selfie" to prove it).

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In June, Holmes filed a complaint seeking a temporary restraining order and unspecified damages from MAHESO for allegedly expelling her as punishment for her anti-swinger protests. "If the court says I must go, I will, but I refuse to let them bully me into abandoning it," she said. MAHESO responded by filing a counterclaim seeking money