Free-Wheeling OB/GYN:

We play it fast and loose.


My home town is bigger than Ireland. We have traffic jams bigger than your country. The walk down my driveway to get my mail would take me halfway across your island. I once hit a golf ball completely over Ireland from Scotland.

The booze is pretty good, but you can keep the whole Riverdance thing.


Let me one up you: **groups** of slow walkers who do that.


zomg a dwnvte thred let meh in im just a teenger rnt u jelouz?

It actually hurt me to type like that...


We're providing the answer in the hope that OP turns his house into an authentic pirate ship, I feel that this is an honourable enough call for aid.


"A freezer in every house" this is a real thing however as there are open source tools available for use.

Rather then rely on a single entity for ice we can just keep the ice machine schematics available for everyone so anyone can make ice machines if need be. Sure the ice might not be high quality, but hey at least it's plentiful and varied.


It takes dedication to stick to one genre for so long.


Come over to my house and you'll see... My shortest sister is your height and primus sucks


Grammar isn't spelling.

I remain,

Your sincere friend

Pedantry Nazi


I didn't say it needed to be said, I said that I wanted to say it.


two shakes. works every time. if by every time you mean never.

The boxers/briefs finish the job.


Yeah, I guess if I was a better owner, I'd have my cat talking to me. Jesus fucking christ.


He used notepad and a floppy drive though.

EDIT: reddit is easily entertained.


You guys sure are dumb. The game isn't making the money it needs to so they just raised the price of stuff.

Its basic logic. Down the shitter we goooooooooooo~


What a dick. Their house, their rules. But I understand his argument though, kind of weird to single out tobacco smokers.


My kid is three. He lives with his dad while I am working. I go home every three weeks for three weeks. So i see him 50% of the time.


Lasso literally has a longer cast range


Wow, thats one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me. IMHO thats even better than the 3 possibilities I came up with. A stranger going out of their way to prank me in reference to a comment I made a year ago that he remembered. That makes me feel special. We should be friends.


Negativity is apart of life, accept everything life trows at you. Not everything is sunshine and rainbows, it comes with the experience. An everyone without a feeble mind an a circlejerk attitude will tell u the post is shit


call her "fat cunt", she'll stop.


"I find my eyebrows the least flattering feature of my face"... Fag


A 16 core computer uses core type 16, which is a miniature variation of the Earth's own molten iron core.  The spinning iron produces magnets to send over the Internet.  The more magnets, the faster your curl and the less gravity resistance you get.

Trust me.  I'm on the Internet.


godamn. -76? reddit is ruthless


unless he's got some pumped up kicks.


Let me use your account to get map packs!!!


It's cute how Red Bull thinks they can keep the footage of this off the internet. So early 00's.


no lady is going to be impressed by anyone holding an umbrella for her


That's actually pretty awesome.


...before it's multi-billion dollar sell out to Microsoft :D :D :D :D


Tonight on FOX news: President Obama wants to keep you from donating to the politicians that you support, veiled attempt to trample your freedom of speech or secret ACORN conspiracy to control which politicians are elected.


why did you just do that


Yeah, but it's Glasgow. You can't understand that shit anyway.

"AyeweeradgecuntysassenachweegieBuckfastfuckinrangerscuntayeoch"


suuure bro. you did it just so you could reap in some comment karma. it's aiight. i woulda done the same. have a downvote any ways. NEXT


This is true.

*Source: I'm a white guy with a small penis.*


I can't roll my eyes hard enough at every sentence of this. People need to get over themselves christ.


>Btw, she's going to be a teacher, and already works as a prostitute.

I don't know why my brain did that just now.


All you are doing is making it so that the school board must meet again, make more rules because they were not defined enough.


I'll take that as "Poppin bottles of Cristale like it's 1969"


lol I enjoyed it in '96 as well when we made it back to the Super Bowl.

How are all of your freshly bought Nike manning jersey's doing?


I imagine this was followed by, "Got any more wisecracks?"


give me a second to get the spelling right.  *:))*


He looks like he pays taxes.


Pretty sure thats Miranda Kerr


Can't believe the nerve of that guy.


Oh what a sad story... you could ask Fritzl's kids for support on that. Man... locked in a room for some hours without something to eat... saddest story ever


You're not stuck in traffic; you *are* traffic.


Lol. I've seen jokes executed like this on reddit before, but I've never seen such polarizing votes to the same person while doing it.


NOW BASICALLY, WHAT THEY'RE TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH HERE IS ORGASM.  NOW THAT CAN HAPPEN IN A VARIETY OF WAYS, BUT MOST OF THE TIME THE GUY'S GONNA FINISH IN HER FACE, MOST OF THE TIME.


Yeah, but there are also straight guys who can enjoy boobs for nonsexual reasons, and we don't get to because most girls believe boobs are inherently sexual for all straight guys. Not that society doesn't impose on them that this is true.


It's a really funny thought.

"But mooooooom, I wanna buy a new yaaaaaacht."

"Not until you finish your vegetables, Gaben."


I used to use other ingredients like hagraven claws and void salts, but then I took a arrow to da knee!


>still a conniving little shit

Now *that* is family love.


The oooooooooooool' Reddit switcheroo!!!


I know these people! I went to high school with them. She is now cancer free and they are expecting a child together

Edit: here is a pic of them posted to Facebook December 22nd...  http://i.imgur.com/xWELr.jpg


eat a dick, this was posted like 2 days ago


He was peddling feels


I used to post gifs, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


It didn't go that far. I told them right up front that it was too early, so we never negotiated a price.


When you answer this question please explain how the intellectual property of American producers can be better protected from piracy over the internet. Americans are leading producers of movies, books, software and music. American producers of this content are receiving a fraction of the income from its sale that they would receive if online piracy was better controlled and limited.


You see.....there are certain "Rules" on the internet....


Doesn't matter, got karma


Hostage w/ bomb strapped to them.


This gets the nomination for both Corniest AND Retardedest Post of the Day!


OH SNAP!

I actually read that in Johnny's voice... God I miss that show...


FAIL REDDIT.  FAIL FOR DOWNVOTING THIS MAN.

*Edit: Fuck yeah.  -72.  Winner.*


That actually sounds pretty awesome. Hooray for science.


xXI BET SOMEONE IN THE CROWD TRIED TO LOOK FOR A PENISXx.


I know this is a joke, but I'm still offended.


They haven't made that part up yet


Yes Simba, hakuna my tatas. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edit: You popped my gold cherry.


Well if you ever need help with that....


Damn those shy anime guys and their inability to ask out a girl without yelling


pretty sure youre a cat fag


AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!!


OP account 3 months and 21 days old, your account 3 months 17 days old. Both Original Submission and your comment were submitted 1 hour ago at the same time.

I think it's safe to assume you are the same person. Try harder.


I like the wine glass... you could drink from it sideways


well....she's not exactly going to be blowing...^if^^you^^^know^^^^what^^^^^I^^^^^^^mean


Should I call you "Your Excellence?"

I have been eating the same meal for the past two months. Luckily, the toilet water keeps it fresh right where I leave it, until I'm ready to eat again.


Slavery was an economic necessity. This is just stupid and degrading.


Note to self: let the women with little boobies catch me staring at said little boobies.


yes this... do it now. do it now.


Waiters and waitresses only make a base of 2-3 dollars an hour, they depend on the tips.


i didn't want to *brake* your concentration


It's in the manual right before the Parking: *Why You Deserve Two Spots* chapter.


You have a problem with sexuality.


OP, [just give us the signal](http://i.imgur.com/OcGdrIX.gifv) if you're feeling threatened.


so how did you do it? cyanide in the morning coffee? Is autopsy a concern?


> He tips his spider hat

m'spider


How exactly is the PS4 passing a sales milestone a personal gain?  The other ones are things that will help your experience, but thinking sales milestones made today better is kind of odd.


If a guy can raise $50,000 on Kickstarter to learn how to make potato salad, I'm confident that we can secure funding for the making of this film.


Reddit's really good at defending pedophiles. They'll get into endless debates about what the proper term is to describe someone who wants to take sexual advantage of a minor. So classy.


Just say "down vote" and he'll know what you mean


Of course, of course, how dare anyone even propose a bill to ban faggots marching!


So your a Polycyclist?


Thanks for being considerate enough to add a spoiler tag for those of us who haven't seen it, prick.


Well aren't you great at keeping secrets


They probably do better than your guild.


I love the conversations where one guy is sitting there going...

"H-"

Blahblahblahblahblah

"He- yeah.."

BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH "Ye-" BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH


You know cuz--guys listen--cuz that's what would--guys--his arms would just--that's what would happen--that's what would happen in Fallout--I--guys I'm serious...


I wonder how many Publishers Clearing House over-sized million dollar checks you've missed out on.


Good call genitalwarts


I'm building character, young man. Watch it in slo-mo, you can see my hit points accumulate. And yes, that Forstner bit on the drill press is vorpal. Carbon Steel plus one, my bitches.


I laughed and then immediately looked at your username.
The fuck, man.


This is my account.

I cannot change summoner spells in team builder.

I can in custom matches.


First world problems.


Probably not how you were supposed to handle it, but good for you.


I think the sole purpose of posting on the internet is that you do not own anything.


It's not a liquid! It's a great many pieces of solid matter that form a hard, floor-like surface!


Get a fucking job assholes.


God bless this fertile bacon-generating nation.


in a straight up game destiny can beat choya. Unfortunately for him choya likes to open with DT's and all sorts of trickery


I have a Nokia.  Snake is still kicking ass.


Yeah, natural attention hungry people, still annoying, they also like to think they are right 100% of the time and everything should be called in their favor, if that is what you look for in a coach you can take a random person out of the stands.


Yeah, the Kama Sutra is good, but I prefer Vātsyāyana's earlier work.


It's more homophobic than clever. Also sexual harassment. It's a bit disappointing to know he let fame get to his head to the point where he thought he could get away with saying stuff like that.


Its like the difference between gay men and fabulous-queen-gay men. Not all men who are gay will talk about it or let you know that they are gay. But you see the queens so much more because they're loud about it and let you know. Therefore, you start to assume that all gay men are queens.


Wow so many EPL people in this reddit.


Oh, that's a taste I know.


Pretty sure the former. I have never seen an attractive American Indian. The girl in this picture does not look like a full blood Indian.


jokes on the spanish we aint got no planes to put on the carriers.


Itchy Itchy Scott came. Ugly face so killed him. Tasty.


We now have Comic-Con for this.


Maybe you should have mentioned that in the title before getting your whore on.


probably because she smells really bad and he doesn't want to get it on him


Breastplate**?

Edit: Lol somehow I knew I'd get downvoted to oblvion. Thanks Reddit. Never change


Yeah this is the best post here and it's more about how to be a quality fucking human being than how to be a man.


Nah, I just call that a Tuesday.


Have to admit the program was EXCELLENT !  Who knew the French could do such great tv.  Clearly a copy of The Daily Show .... but who cares .. they do it very well.


Was gunna say that. We share thoughts m'gentlesir


Nope, I don't think that they do. Dont plan on telling them either...


I would be more concerned about you continually pissing yourself in public, than drowning out the conversation of a couple old men talking about bondage.


Chris Brown's attitude toward the entire thing is the worst part. John Lennon was publicly sorry about his actions, which is a lot more than can be said for Chris.


Jesus christ, grow up.

edit: WRATH OF THE HOTSHOTGG FANBOYS.


"Drop it in the rape hole"


No, not as far as you've described. But he made this comic and he's obviously proud of it and was a willing participant. Christ, I'm done talking about this, I'm really sick of people in denial.


//♪ *Hey* ♪

//I just met you

//and this is craaaaaazy

//but here's my number

//so call me maybe

======

//*Ba*

//na-na nut-bread

//ba na na nuuuut-bread

//ba na-na nut bread

//ba na na nut-bread


Oh, no, I got it - it's not exactly an expert cipher.

Just pointing out how fucking stupid it's use sounds.


We'll be seeing this as a TIL post on the front page tomorrow


Encouraging poor kids to engage in gladiatorial combat for no money = awesome

Smashing up a car = HOW DARE YOU


99X: "First person to get naked and give me a high-five g-"

Moruitelda: "Why are you leaving me hanging?!"


Stop buying gas then.


What about faster? Better?


I'm ruining nothing, the number of credulous people are the ones ruining things.


For a guy who use the term 'sangfroid', I'm in disbelief.


I REPEAT THINGS I HEARD BECAUSE THEY WERE HEARD BY ME AND I FELT BADLY SO I USE THOSE WORDS I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY MEAN WORDS ARE JUST WORDS WORDS YOU KNOW CHECKMATE FEMINAZIS


"Because it'll be raining bitches in a few short moments."


It really wouldn't unless you think parodying the circlejerky subreddits like r/atheism and r/politics is the same as simply stating that you don't like them.  It just shows how painfully un-self aware you guys can be.


18lbs. We think he's a Maine Coon/ Ragdoll mix of some sort.

[Here's the (not so) little mushball.](http://imgur.com/fPgnXbG)

[Here's a friend using him as a pillow just give you an idea of his size.](http://imgur.com/m0j5Gd3)


You beat me to it, upboat for you sir


He's on strike. Again.


This is a great comment, you gentlemen sir! Upboated. [My reaction upon reading this](http://i.imgur.com/fY7Ca.gif)


Yep, surprisingly.

otherwise, I would have *definitely* died.


the fuck is a meme arrow?

>lrn2greentext

edit: so much mad


I'm sorry. [It had to be done](http://k.wigflip.com/nhbDoM1S/roflbot.jpg).


You're full of crap. ;)


Aw man, if so, I feel bad for her. Seems unfair that her face is exposed and his isn't.


Only because OP happens to have a vagina. I'll bet money that if a guy wrote this, it would get downvoted to oblivion. This story was neither inspiring nor interesting.


I always cum harder when they cry.


Fuck skateboarders. I'm sick of every nice new piece of limestone architecture in my town having a day to shine before it's covered in black marks. Maybe if the little shits had some respect instead of pretending it's the height of cool to not care about anything I would feel like they didn't deserve to be harassed. As it is I'm sorry the old guy didn't take a fucking bat to their skulls.


The fact that there IS a Pokemon graveyard blows my mind. You can shoot a trillion death lasers and spike bombs at one of those things and all they do is faint.

What kills them?


The dude is underweight if anything. Needs to lift some weights.

Edit: 99 downvotes? wow, that's a new record for me :D


Tell my wife, I said "hello."


Was about to
Make this joke.


He's been va-cationing.....i'll show my self out


Down voted because Zach G. sold out hard as fuck.
edit: if you down vote this you clearly only heard about Zach after watching the hang over.


Possibly censored as nipples are deemed 'too sexual' by networks.

Firstly, a nipple itself isn't really sexy. It takes context to make it appealing.

Secondly, in that circumstance, if the censor watches the scene and says "Damn, that nipple is too sexy. Better censor it out." I'd begin to question how they spend their free time.


hai ima find top post and top comment and say sumthangggg for karma. i see you, trapped in reddit, and some other dudes ALL THE TIME. its CRAZY. u think reddit is a game? u think its a fkn gaaaaaaaaaaaaameeee?

edit: do you get in trouble if u get downvoted a lot? guys can u stop it im sorry.


I always forget that Tony Hawk is a real person and not just a character made up for those video games


Get your nigger speak the fuck out of here. Jesus Christ.


I was going to say... Who could afford heating a pool in those conditions?


Then take it off when you are showing screenshots that do not belong to you.

Simple.


"IT'S MY ELEVATOR!"

"...Shut up Meg."


She was captured in battle. This whole arrested stuff is just nonsense. They captured a high level target and they want to hang on to her. The rest is BS.


Can confirm. Mine is definitely in your sister.


I open-mouth kissed a horse once.


Woah, woah, woah, let's not start calling the Astros professional.


Piece of shit referee


Goldilocks and the three Dicks.


You can call it whatever you want. I've thought about all my options and decided I don't want to cause trouble for my friends who own and work at the bar, I don't want my actions to come under suspect by investigators and officers who potentially feel the same way about atheists that my assailants did. To me, it seems better to take no action on this.


Somewhere out there on the Internet there is a bewildered man with a poopy Pringles lid looking incredulously at your scorn for the Old Ways.


Why? Spiders deserve their own kind of holocaust.


TIL pygmy giraffes exsist, I was only referencing the DirectTV commercial where the millionare had a tiny giraffe...

EDIT: Okay guys, I get it... my inbox is hurting...


I always get downvoted for liking pewdie xD


After you finish reading it.


All women that hate my precious video games are cunts, right? [/r/mensrights](http://www.reddit.com/r/mensrights) is <--- that-a-way


I'm in a similar boat.

http://www.codereddit.com/ has saved my ass many times.


How do you know (person who cant even use apostrophes right) ?


Fuck yeah, - karmabomb for all.


implying moot will stop using 4chan. faggot probably just wants more time with his ponies.


I havent been vaccinated for 20 years and I am fine. I dont see whats the big deal if you dont do it.


Separate, but equal.


awww, a windows user. poor fella.


Spoiler alert: 6-month old is not going to give a damn about landslides.


Because what Scarra says is 100% right always.

Fact: Katarina's early game is stronger than before. Fact: Katarina scales better mid-to-late game. That's all you need to know.


RIP /u/Accio_Doublestuffs


It's been going on since I started. Back then, I was accused of being the alts of other popular users like Necrophiliac and CuntsmellersInc


Tell her she made the better choice on what to play.


SRS is composed of progressives, not hate-mongers.  I'm a feminist, and I'm sick of you men that try to bring us down.  SRS is where we can be free of your bigotry hence the deleted post.


It took me about ten minutes to upvote this with my thumb on my HTC b ut I got there in the end.


Archer quote = day made.

Thank you


I mean, I only fainted once.


You are worthless, you aren't even a whole man anymore. Nothing anyone says on this website will change that. You are a crippled piece of garbage.


Yeah, some of these looks like a result of no hope mixed with plain apathy.


The punch line was bill murray, not the "no one will believe you" so no, the punchline wasn't in the title


This baby pay his own child support


Me? I'm a heartless bitch. Bet it wouldn't walk up to strangers after I got done with it.


Oh he didn't say he was Asian. Now it makes sense.

Edit: My highest upvoted comment on reddit is racist. Not very proud of that.


Came to post this.

Will upvote instead.


so the government then


LmAo HahAha ?!??! WhO's LaUghiiiiiiiNG BiiiiiiiTcH ?


"DOWNLOADING FILE...COMPLETED" (said in robotic female voice, just like your home computer does).


Why is it always white guys? Wtf


Are... are you retarded or just a troll?


Doesn't Matter; Kept Fish


Not really. I think its funny lol


Billions. With a "B."


>aren't allowed to dress up in black face

FTFY

EDIT: Black face has a specific derogatory history that makes it a seemingly racist act even if the intentions were good. It isn't okay and the kids parents should have known better.


You should share some of the PMs with us. I'm curious as to what was said.


I do not wish for my money to be confiscated to pay for radio programming. That is NOT the purpose of government.


No Dad! WHAT ABOUT YOU!


haha a reasonable guess, but my username was made nearly 3 years ago, and I have since grown into the 6'6 braj on the right with the smokeshow girlfriend chilling with Rondo


“Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it's true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce." -Louis C.K.


We aren't just as smart.. We are smarter :D


Comes out of work to [this](http://i.imgur.com/UoxYt.jpg)


Animals should only exist to please us; if they have sexual drives that are incompatible with that, we have every right to damage their genitals to improve them.


Yes I do. We do not have to. Most girls choose not to. I have a bad oral fixation. My mouth has to be doing somthing at all times ;) Im sucking on a lolly pop right now!


You can't even misspell 'source' correctly.  Wow. Downvoted.


This reminds me of another commonly-told incorrect fact: our ancestors lived short lives. This is incorrect, and neanderthals commonly lives into their ~~60s~~ 40s. The "average" age is low due to all the deaths during childbirth and small illnesses like the measles being deadly.


If by funny you mean trying to amuse others than myself; no.

I'm just fairly allergic to these kind of emotional circlejerks. I thought it'd be fun to completely wreck the mood while introducing a bit of realism.

When I looked at my karma count and realized that I'd lost nearly 300 points in less than 40 minutes I actually did laugh out loud. This has to be some kind of record, lol.


She is pretty good at making things rise.


The state knows better how to raise your children. Democrats enable this thinking.


Breast-case scenario.


Why? Because I'm pointing out that it's pretty foolish to self-fellate over a dull friendly? I want to like the USA football team, but /soccer's attitude makes it hard not to hate them. They're above-average at best and will never compete with most good European sides. Just accept that and it'll be a much more pleasurable experience.


I use your mom for precisely the same reason.


You can see inside her head and discern her thoughts?  You must be some sort of mega-mind.


I guess you *technically* escaped from the outdoors... right?


ME! That's who. Deal with it.


My family ate that shit up. My sister had over 50 of those beanie babies!


Honestly, how do they?...

I guess socially awkward women can get married maybe? "People" definitely is the wrong word, as it is literally impossible for socially awkward men.


This is bizarre.

Edit: Why?


Fuck you. If i find a good weapon I'm using it. Dayz is not a game about fairness, it's part of the appeal. Using hacked weapons you find is explicitly allowed.


are those astronaut pants? because your ass is out of this world.


* Why should we care why you gave an upvote
* Why should we care why you gave an upvote
* Why should we care why you gave an upvote
* Why should we care why you gave an upvote
* Why should we care why you gave an upvote
* Why should we care why you gave an upvote
* Why should we care why you gave an upvote


Oh my god RageMorePlz, you can't just ask someone why they're white..


Someone had to do it, and it wasn't going to be Idra


*Sorry, I'm a lesbian.*

**SO IS SPAGHETTI. WAIT.**


Don't listen to this faggot. Listen to me:

Nigger, first off, community college doesn't count as college, you dumb fuck. It's not that you're too old to start a real career, it's that you're too retarded and African to do so. I suggest going back to robbing, looting, and raping you fucking nigger. Get out of my world.


can anyone confirm penis or no penis?


SHOOT FOR THE MOON. EVEN IF YOU MISS, YOU'LL LAND AMONG THE god fucking dammit


I am not, so I feel okay.


He deserves it. That shit's out of order.


oo look at the computer nerd programmer everyone!!


Don't get a credit card.


There's funny.. and there's going too far.


PUT THE GUN DOWN AND GET THE FLAMETHROWER


Cheer kid up?  :) ...... great idea.

Kill kid w/secondary infection spread by adorable ducklings?  :(  ........ not so great an ideas.


Are you a duck? I only take advice from ducks.


first off being a judo expert means nothing if you get punched in the face enough times. If you watch the fight ronda didn't take her down and Zingano got submitted because she made a mistake it's not like Ronda threw her across the cage and submitted her.


This is reddit, most people haven't seen one vag let alone two.


Except for the fact that it *directly* does.


I'm actually pretty sure that RR Martin just killed him off instead.


OMG I came in here to say this! lol


Except it's still easy mode, the ducks won't be able to stand up due to the square cube law.  So the gigantic ducks would just fall over like dominoes.

As long as you avoid the falling ducks, you're good.


Um, of course yes. It is not a crime. Get your facts straight.


>she had been banging a guy 500 miles away for the last 3 months

Longest dick on record.


Down vote for being a fatty


No [serious] tag, I really expected this to end differently:

> It was her, all better. We chatted for a while and I told her how happy I was to see her doing so well. She smiled, thanked me, then took a big bite out of my forearm.


Read as "paper cunts" &#3232;\_&#3232;


lol alright bro have fun *WORKING FOR A LIVING* if you ever want to catch up I'll be driving around my private island in my *Vervemobile*.


Not a troll. Just someone with a functioning brain.


MEIN FUHRER! I can walk!

(Side note: Peter Sellers momentarily forgot his character was paralyzed and he improv-ed this line)


It's also painful for my DICK because I just got an AWKWARD BONER


I hate it when I accidentally inhale a kitten.

Edit: Never in a thousand years did I think my highest rated comment would be about inhaling a kitten.


Fuck you suck on my fat fucking lizard


Hipsters will only listen to classic dubstep.


> Ask yourself, would you rather trade places with them?

**Yes.** If I was 100% minority, I could have taken advantage of so many more scholarships, and it would have saved me *thousands* of dollars. I can blow off some taunts if it means I wouldn't have had to go into so much debt, and even possibly gotten an AA job with one of the local companies.


I can't let all those rumors about me go unanswered, can I?

^(...And I can't leave all that untapped karma untapped, can I?)


Consent is given once for the entire duration. So, sadly, not rape.


"omg this song is so relatable"


then i guess we're back to where we started...


Television! **PORNOGRAPHY!!**


Waffles need not karma to survive, my son.  Just Nickelback.  We thrive on them.

Edit:  I got 3 initial upvotes and no downvotes, was disappoint.  TY Reddit.  Faith in humanity restored.


lmao It was so funny He was like: why are you up? Me: Reddit Him: Go to sleep Me: but im doing a AMA Him: get back to answering questions


Winner winner chick dinner. You sir win at life.


This is pro material right here


He won those at the end of the 14-15 season


To be fair, the ASL sign for [the number 6](http://www.tuxpaint.org/stamps/stamps/symbols/alphabets/asl/asl_zzz_6.png).

Is it possible that he was deaf and trying to read your lips?


He didn't do anything wrong.  The employer that fired him is a hate mongering company just like Chik-fil-a. It's good that they fired him because he wouldn't be able to live with himself working for such a hateful corporation.


Dude holy shit man. If this is real you're literally in a time bomb situation... Two kids on the way both yours..... Gawd daumnnnnn

Edit: PLEASE I'm sorry. I was just so taken back by what he said, I foolishly typed **literally**. What's funny is at one point I called someone out for that too. Everything comes around ya know...


Then he should have said so instead of molesting boys.


Of course he doesn't realize, he's an asshole.


GOO GAH Gah whe WAN sheh GAA boo!!!!!!!!! DADY No touch ME there!!!!!!!!!!!! But then i took a arrow to da knee!


Well, all the other responses are puns about poop.


What I can't figure out is why left-wingers don't pay more attention to how a community organizer gets to be worth 10 million dollars.


I'm not sure it's even supposed to be time travel. There's a strong argument to be made for dementia.


Consequences will never be the same!

I made a funny, give me upvotes niggarlips


Don't forget the rolex


You guys are ridiculous, you cannot tell me you would take this woman to court. Yes, she raped him, but he's not mentally scarred from it or anything, and there was no harm done. Why go to all that effort to get this girl in trouble when she was already your fuckbuddy and she got too into it one night?

I am in no way justifying what she did, just saying it's not worth pressing charges.


That is offensive to someone like me who identifies as stationerykin


Well that happens. A frat is a frat. If you don't like it, they'll the rest of them to stop being shit heads.

Signed,

The rest of society and normal college students everywhere.


My favorite part is how Russia changes its message based on audience. When speaking to the west it is *lol your sanctions are nothing* but in Russia it is *Western sanctions are responsible for this crisis not Putin's corruption and incompetence*


Think about that for a second.  How do they know they can't be opened if they haven't tried?

It's more likely they see the amount of damage that happens when a scroll is opened, and they'd rather have a non destructive method to read them that also gets all the text instead of some of it.


please upvote if you think women are intelligent


I think they should make a totally separate division for that. They already have Formula One, Two, and Three, but for this faster one, they should call it [Formula Zero](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ1FLPBw1FE#t=266).


Just another bozo who doesn't know what trolling is


They are timeless.  I would parody all the ends of shows like mash and the sopranos but keep the simpsons alive and well at the end.


Leave it to SRD to cry about SRS being a "downvote brigade" and cry about "invasions" yet mysteriously when they link to things, downvotes and invasive comments follow. Mysterious!


Twist:  same woman?

[edit: holy crap, a stupid joke triples my comment karma.]


The link in my parent comment isn't nofollowed.


Rub it in why dontcha


I assume the implication you're going for is troll accusations. How original.

Why don't you educate yourself on the facts of sex trafficking. Especially in the part of the world where the OP is.


Think of all the jobs that it would create.


omg its not edgy to think a guy couldnt walk on water or change chemical compositions of water, believing he could would be the edgy thing

EDIT: lol at all the bible loving church goin thugs downvoting me, haleelooyer


It's because they were also *her* favorite candles!


Meh serves you right for trying to feel priveledged


>Torrenting *everything*. I love the internet.

FTFY


He should have just send his army to attack.


He looks like he got a bit handsy with the photographer.


bitch prease this is the internet if me calling someone fag every second sentence is acceptable why the fuck should i care for grammar

(when im doing official docs i go over and correct all my mistakes)


**You better believe it's serious.**


Hmm how about this one bud, super heroes aren't real.  I love it when people look for factual inaccuracies in god damn fantasy land.


If the cloud had a silver lining, he probably took that, too.


dont be fucking retarded you dumb fuck. the fridge is still there.

anyways this girl sounds like a cunt and probably wants ur dick. proceed accordingly


Where would that be legal to say??


or it is how we were moderating anyway so i put it in the rules to be above ground about things! WHO KNOWS!

regardless good job srd, more downvotes on comments in that thread than subscribers. great job being totally not a downvote brigade!


tell me, at this 3 dollar bear night, did the coorslight taste more like keystone?

 Edit: i spelled beer wrong but fuck it, i like it better that way


THAN. Fucking hell, I swear someone needs to go around bludgeoning people to death with a dictionary.


I read a lot more than I write. But what's not to like? It's like a club for nerdy folk who believe in freedom of speech, science, not pushing your religion on anyone else, being funny and the occasional perfect pair of boobies.


lol comparing him to the skilless Dyrus xD


>No one cares, everyone knows

You're like that one poorly closeted gay friend.


I feel like I'm getting close. It's just difficult to move forward and change when everyone keeps focusing on the past.


First I was like: o_o

Then I was like: o_o

And now I'm like: o_o


no you didn't

Edit: bring on the downvotes.  My record is -110.


Wait What? I thought M2K was sponsored by League of Legends?


Can confirm.  I love the Suicide Girl look, but those girls are generally the type that you bring home for the night, not the type that you bring to meet mom.


We can go deeper. OP can't. An inch is his limit


I know. i just went through them. People are mad at me.


Ugh, my dad still thinks I gave his computer viruses from doing some last minute Christmas shopping on Amazon a few years ago.

"I dunno Dad, you sure you don't think that maybe it's just slow because you've installed eight different toolbars on your browser?"


There free if you smart and figure them out.


ctrl alt del is a priority interrupt whereas ctrl shift esc isn't so if you're having problems with a program locking up and crtl shift esc doesn't work, ctrl alt del might be able to get you to your task manager without having to fully reboot


Kind of a bad comparison though...marines are trained to maim and kill, not fight in the ring.  Without the protections of the rules I give it to a marine 9/10


Hopefully not in Denmark.


>Make his dick, suck with his balls, play him a sandwich>

FTFY


Cash Rules Everything Around Me ..dolla dolla bill y'all


"you hade the same reaction I did" WTF what an asshole dad, and then he puts it on youtube. How great for the daughter to see when she grows up.


I'm a guy. A girl did it to me.


HI WEDDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUS HAD DA CERWEAL WIT DA BWEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANA PWAY WIT MY BRODER, BUT MOMMY SAYD DAT HE DYED!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT OK CAWSE I GET HIS ROOM SO I HAPPY WEDDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Creepiest spirit bomb ever.


MLS is better than any shit league in fucking Finland


the fact that you referred to it as her "shithole" but still managed to masturbate to it is alarming


Eww gross she is like one of those anorexic models all bony and gaunt like christian bale in the machinist. i like my girls with more a little more meat on their bones (if you know what i mean) curvy natural girls. i cant believe anyone finds her attractive!


LOL

looks like you're gonna need to plug that leak up... WITH YOUR DICK.


PROTIP: Shut the fuck up.


Literally worse than Hitler.


> We know you were never good enough to carry a team through the playoffs. It shows.

When this comes from a Patriots fan (read: someone who has likely never experienced what having a 'bad team' really means) directed towards a Viking, it really makes the Patriots fan look like one of Seattle's defenders from the end of the game last night.


Would be cool to see a video of you doing this..


Yeah, is that so hard?


Lynn: "I just so happen to have the owner's number right here, and the phone's right there if you want to call them right now"

*Grabs phone and dials number*
*Lynn's cell phone starts ringing, picks up*

"Get the fuck out."


I could care less. You know in your heart of hearts what is wrong. You are an idolatrous sodomite. You being black is not a sin - I don't know why you even mentioned it. If you have sex with anyone outside of the one and only wife that you marry - then you're sinning.


6 hrs of sleep --> billionaire

brb sleeping for 6 hours

*edit:* where do I get my money?


looks like you took the other one and just stretched it


context: CaptainNoBoat created the Bad Joke Eel. Shitty remembers. Pepperidge farm remembers.


Fuck off.  Everyone has seen that already.


I've heard so much about the infamous Los Angeles stair bender.


how am I the troll....you came onto my thread whining about something you didn't have to look at.....


Wait for the laugh.

Edit: First gold! And for a dad joke! My life is complete! Thank you! :)


106 is normal? Jesus christ we're doomed

Edit: Yeees, downvotes yeeeessss


It sickens me to know that people still wear fur.


really? for some reason it grosses me out. Like it shouldn't happen.


I like it. Can you imagine the revolutionary effect of a drug that caused sexual pleasure? In a world WITHOUT it? Fuck me that's blowing my mind.


You can also jump off a fucking cliff but that's not what I asked. Jesus Christ, prick


It's bad that you play CoD to begin with.


Sarah is close. Sometimes I call my girlfriend's vagina "Sahara".


Just because you're too stupid to understand my perspective, it does not make me an asshole.

It just means you're stupid.


Nice try, every redditor with a female roommate


> So was it only on the bus? Or was it also at dinner? And maybe while walking around following the tour guide? And perhaps on the flight over? And where else/when else?

It probably happened everywhere because it's really unintentional. This is the language I am comfortable speaking with my family.


Well that's because John turned down the lights.

EDIT: Wow, so now my highest upvoted comment *ever* is about statutory rape, sometimes you worry me reddit.


As an murican I am jealous of your ability to buy and sell your women.


Soda Pop a.k.a. Daddy's Fall down juice.


I've got to say, you have some issues in your life that I'm sure /r/firstworldproblems  would sympathise with.


That... had to be some sensation.


>As Managing Editor of NBC Nightly News, I have decided to take myself off of my daily broadcast

That's some serious fucking egomaniac right there. It's "his" broadcast.

It's not NBCNews'. It's Brian Williams' broadcast.

What a fucking douchenozzle.


I was on a date with this girl that was a biology undergrad preparing for medical school. I knew she was nerdy, but I was kind of shocked when she hit me with this line..

"The way you smell indicates we have different variations of MHC receptors; that would create a baby with a very effective immune system"


Are you talking about baking here?  This sentence should be:

>I *kneed the video. I need to let it all out.


OMG!! Someone needs to kill that bitch


wait i thought that was thetrashman


This should be the top comment. The Saudi regime is the single greatest contributor to radical Islamist ideology worldwide, using their deep pockets (lined with U.S. dollars) to spread Wahabism/Salafism throughout the world, indoctrinating as many young minds as possible. How Saudi Arabia can remain a U.S. "ally" while this is so obviously true mystifies me.

(Edited to insert missing space.)


Oh so this is what this subreddit is about? Unsubscribing.


Protecting your kids both from real viruses and virtual ones


God. You're a shitty friend. I would talk to my friend first extensively. And then probably not turn him in at the end of the day. You really just have to take the moral fucking high ground.


As someone who once caught a fish with their nipple I can honestly say that your fear is justified.

Edit: Click "load more comments" to read the story. It's still buried.


Seriously, find something better to do.  AND fuck off.


Your friend is a good man.


this made me actually lol


He did, however, dip it in delicious fish juices.


Thanks for the advice :)


Lars Andersen was seen shooting down a Russian fighterjet with a bow.

Some say that Lars Andersen is the son of Skadi, Norse Goddess of the hunt, and Orion, the great hunter.

Legends have foretold that one day the Midgard Serpent will swallow the sun, and that our only hope will be Lars Andersen.


you and loligone have ignored any important information in my post just to defend starbound from what **might** be a post against it


It won't be forever. You might get a son that you can transfer all those emotions from your foot to his ass one day.

Edit: Thank you and may your foot lovingly find it's way up your son's ass one day.


You, sir, should suck the dick.


>undefeated covert lightweight world champion

ftfy


There's no way gamespot would review it that low.


The Hunger Games hosted by Angelina Jolie


FUCK YOU YOU WILL NOT CALL OUR MEN IN UNIFORM PUNKS


False. The FBI and the CIA never work together. I'm an expert on this matter since I watch TV.


What is truely amazing is how many times this picture can be reposted and still hit the front page.


I still ask my parents to wipe my ass but their hands are shaky and don't clean properly.


And maybe a little gay?


What's chicken riggies, precious?

Edited to say thank you for the gold!


It's also a horrible idea for a tattoo because it's fucking retarded.


He saves the children, but not the British children.


Koeman uses 3-5-2 and gets called an idiot.  Van Gaal uses 3-5-2 and gets called an idiot because the system doesn't work in the Premier League.  I agree that it has worked for Liverpool since the switch, but its inconsistent and poor media.


Hello this is Bat Wayne. I mean Bruce Man.


dumb americans are better off up my butt and around the corner

go eat your hamburgers and get poorer while china,germany,japan,southkorea,and the rest of the world work hard to get better everyday while you get worse on a daily basis

congratulations, YOU ARE FROM PENIS COUNTRY


Actually, price per head at the average US wedding is something like $100, typically.  Admittedly that is for more than the meal, it is the total cost per person of hosting the reception.

Regardless, the expectation is extremely tacky and is no tradition I've ever heard of.


lol y... the guy looks like a fukin faggot... any1 agree? lmao


I have two fallopian tubes, one connected to each uterus. I menstruate once a month.


You've gotta be a chick. That's a pretty hard core spatial awareness whoosh. ;) My wife is the same way. Never knows anything about Cardinal directions even for familiar places. Makes trips interesting. "Go left!" -left? Are you sure? "Fuck! Right. I mean right" ....every God damned time.


Easy now, fuzzy little man peach


She 'kind of legally' could have put you up for adoption.


How's the back of the oven treating ya?


Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.


naw, I just front like I do =)


Please read a book.

- edit

*Since no one wants to discuss: Calling Nazism "fascism" is like calling Stalinism "collectivism".*

*All of you go read a book.*


That was one of the least fun fun facts ever.


How did she get in there?


"What took you so long?"

"Oh, I was just cutting my hair."

"But... you're bald."

"Correct." \*wink*


quit your fucking whining - it's just the internet and there are plenty of assholes/idiots in the world.  She hurt your feelings because she was mean and not remorseful?

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaambulance


Oh man, Saul's intern. That would be priceless.


No fuck you, it's funny.


Because bestiality is illegal.


you want water

[they Hate Water](http://doiop.com/2b2259)


It's basically The Giving Tree reskinned for halloween with poop instead of wood.


give me KARMA you fuckers!!!!!!!!!


Lol @ r/nba. "CLIPPERS FLAIR? FUCK THIS GUY."

Fucking whiners. I hope you get your dream of being DJestroyed one year.


The Japanese embassy has a 24 hour hotline for people suffering from this while in Paris. I think that's fucking awesome.


ZOMG some truth! Don't destroy her little murdering scheme.


And much does the dog weigh?


Oh, I'm sure they'll make money in much the same way spam emails make money. Lots of downloads.  Only need a fraction to buy to profit.


There's a certain amount of gravitas in seeing Martin refer to someone as "fumblebuck".


rich people look younger because they live off the blood and sweat of the poor.


Let's add something very important to this:

Treat him like a man. Do not under any circumstances treat him like a dog who shit in your house. Be understanding that he growing up and he needs adult leadership by his side more than ever. Turn it into an opportunity to teach but not lecture. Discuss what happened, be engaging, share stories, **be serious**, but do not shame.


and i explained it justly. nice try stonewall.


I, too, was threatened by this "ink poisoning". I once actually got mad at a  girl in elementary school for drawing a heart on my hand because i though i was going to die after.


Hooray for social wedge issues!  Thankfully they remind us how much Better democrats are than republicans...

Pay no attention to the fact that we're [constantly murdering Muslim children](http://www.salon.com/2012/05/08/us_attack_kills_5_afghan_kids/singleton/) all over the Middle East!

What's next everyone, another *heated* debate about how the GOP is totally wrong about abortion?!


"Lana? LANA!? LANAAAAAAA!"

"What Archer?"

*shoots Cyril*

"Archer, why would you do that?"

"It's the Purge Lana. Geez, read a book."


i dont want to find out, shes disgusting. i drunkenly swiped her. Dont drink and swipe.


Probably as many times as my Mom would tell it. Thanks Mom.


Well when it gets 15 down votes in less than 5 minutes before it hits the FP, yes.  If it hit - 30 over the normal amount of time (it's happened) I'd think nothing of it.

It's like my post that proved my gif was OC, went from 1 to - 10 in 5 min in a deleted post, lol.


Can we trade orgasms?


Just as well, you could not have refuted a single point directly.

Please be safe though.


Apparently he already had one.


You're Ruinedbad.
And you should be ruined bad.


But he's the largest 'Friend', he would eat everyone who would try to kill him.


Movements like Pegida try to prevent massacre like this trough the adoption of more efficent protocols of security, they're not sick people.


Were looking at you New Orleans.


I see. So what is strip mining exactly? I'd Google it but ~~I'm~~ everyone else is too lazy.


I have no idea how to react to this, other than hope upon hope she wasn't *that* kind of person. She posted a picture of her taking those cookies into work the next day...so I'm going to hold on to my dream of it all being okay.


Nah, my comment wasnt rude. Using words like "shit" to describe what SHOULD be one of the most amazing moments of your life is crass and disrespectful to what should be a sacred night.

ex; I gave birthday to my baby boy, that shit was cray. <- Thats not cool.

I did nothing wrong. I asked a question. I get told to shut up, called an asshole and downvoted into oblivion.


Domestic abuse is no joke


The frenulum is very similar in tissue type and structure to the clitoris.

Unfortunately, as an American boy, mine was removed non-consensually as an infant.

#LikeABoy


I once told an old man, "Have a good one."

Without missing a beat he says "I already have a good one. What I need is a long one."

Nothing makes you smile like a geriatric making a dick joke.


I already knew it was an troll.
However there are people that actually agreed with the picture and that worries me :/


"So Arthur, why were you in prison?"

"I fucked a kid."


Cool comment thanks bro.


So I guess you're not a *social* engineer?


Proverbs is about Jesus – how to live, not what you expect – Proverbs 8:22-36


We are both of the opinion that our 60 years of marriage is due to the fact that we have never lost our tempers simultaneously.


Oh, no whites are being oppressed by three fucking examples of school meetings!!!111


I like to think of that kinda thing as stupid tax.  Maybe not at first, but certainly after you tried to explain it to her.


I'm not trolling fucktard I'm posting my true opinion... If u think that's trolling well then, FUCK OFF


Please tell me you made that up. you can lie if you need to.


When in doubt, eat it out


If you could one of these would probably fall out.

Edit: lol.


Keep in mind only a small percentage of people are born blind, and only a small percentage of people ever develop schizophrenia


Go fuck yourself.

It's people like you that are the reason there isn't peace in the middle east.


I just had to Google Laura Linney, so I don't blame your dad


Yea but she still chose something 2 inches bigger than her bf's penis. Seems kind of disrespectful.


And then sacrifice them to Satan. Just to mess with them.


I think 4chan lost any future match privileges with r/battlefield3. I certainly don't want to deal with them. An internal match would be better. Let them go off and do their own thing. I think Redditors would much rather just have a normal match without any of this BS that is/was being spun by 4chan.


Okay, here you go: http://i.imgur.com/8T2eq.jpg

(Better not see this reposted as a fixed!)

*edit: Improvements added per request of OP!


So wait what's the point of this Gif?

Why does nothing make sense in this blog-thread??????? Ha ha ha ha

Edit: I'm literally lmao @ all the dumb shit I'm reading

EDIT: This is fucking censorship. This is why the rest of reddit thinks wtf is so fucking weird. Remind me never to come here again.


Worse are the pridefully ignorant.


lol Irony must be lost on you. I am insulting people who insult to show that insulting is wrong. Its just a "taste of your own medicine" Good luck with... stuff.


My sexual orientation is under imminent threat.


As a single 24 year old guy with no kids, i think she's being completely fine. what is she being a bitch about? If she has a kid, and i don't, isnt my home life generally just waay simpler and easier to deal with than hers?


I did the same thing with Ahbig Lyon with and the Number for the San Diego Zoo!


I played D2 for thousands of hours, and never found a high rune, soj, or anything else great. In D3 I've found a SS and better.

Drops in D3 are better than D2. If it takes you weeks to do anything in D3, its because you suck.


Frobama would get my vote.


Thanks, but no thanks. Too lazy.


This post really sealed the deal for me. Reddit had made it blatantly obvious that far more people have sex with dogs than I ever thought.


You sound like extremely unlikable faggot in the video, who probably thinks a little too much of his sense of humor.


lol you make mistakes


Grow some balls and take a chance.


immagine how it was at the strip club

old guy that wants to watch "the football" walks in, sits in front of the stripper "what can i do for you honey?"she asks

 "one beer, medium, and where's the tv young lady? and you really should fix your lights, they're all red and weird, can't be good for the eyes let me tell ya, i remember back in '75..."


But I can see the point!


༼ຈل͜ຈ༽_•︻̷┻̿═━一(҂‾ -‾)︻デ═一 (˚▽˚’!)/

Pick on dongers your own size, friend.


Yet you see much less moaning about Gerrard + Lampard.

Oh look, talking about a United plays age = reason to not include them completely. Talking about some other players ages = doesn't matter. What a completely idiotic bunch of people.


I used to print screen the desktop, remove the icons, set the printscreen as a wallpaper and unplug the mouse and keyboard, i was an asshole. I would also lock the taskbar in the hidden position.

Edit: The reason I unplugged the peripherals was once the teacher found out that was the problem, they'd think that's all they had to do... but no, there's more.


Yeah, I mean it is SOOOO on par with Republicans lieing to start a new war front on Terror which killed ~100k people and cost us Trillions, and will do so for many years to come.

But, who is comparing?


Doesn't matter; had sex.


Freedom of speech. He can say what he wants. We live in America not Islam. If you want to censor good rape jokes you should move to Islam.


Agreed. Once Cthulu was mentioned, I went from "holy shit" to rolling my eyes.


An inspiring picture :)


Haha, you act like she had a choice.


Lol. Awee. You guys want an askerisk saying it was close for a while?


When my wife was younger she worked in a convenience store. A guy came in and asked for some pipe-cleaners. She said that they might be with the stationary. He had to point out they're behind her, with the pipes.

To this day, she still insists their primary purpose is "to make farmyard animals".


They can hide them you fucking retard


BWOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMP SKREEEEEE WUB WUB WUB


no way! i searched and didn't find it already here


I don't know why but this is my favourite story so far. Good ol' Dennis.


When someone finds themselves boring, that is really tragic. You could just go and end it all, all your relationships will be you desperately depending on someone for everything until they cheat on you, and then you trying to work it out regardless (if you even get anyone in the first place.)


Yeah but she was asking for it.


Whatever, r/mr is that way ->


It would be nice if it worked that way more often.


My favorite part was the nigger cock.


Yep, both games use Source.


He just said lol... i honestly don't understand what the fuck goes through peoples' minds when they downvote


Hey bro this is exactly what we are talking about. **Don't help this guy**. If you have to remain 100 feet away then there is probably a good reason. Did you even read the title of this post??? Unbelievable.


I'm glad you get jokes.... It makes it easier for everyone


This is more like setting her *up* for future embarrassment.


Joe Rogan is a genius (IQ of 175) and he says the Moon landings were faked

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzlmBeSjrP8

Here he is completely owning a Moon scientist

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDLFm-DRPQg

People need to OPEN THEIR EYES... or does the truth scare you???


It's an ice cream hibachi grill.


Let's test this hypothesis. Please downvote this comment into oblivion.


No, he just really needs a job.


I know, it was a self-mocking joke. I don't really care to seriously discuss my relationship with every person who tries to criticize it. If you'd like to PM me and ask for details, that's fine and I'll be happy to speak with you, but trying to prove wrong every single comment that argued against me is sort of what got me in this mess in the first place.


He took frogger to a whole new level.


Ladies get an automatic pass on all of the rules.


thatd be awesome but a PR nightmare haha.


Because this shit didn't actually fucking happen. OP is a liar like 99% of reddit and just wants the precious karma.


GA' DAMN BOOTLEG F'REWORKS


You are not an F list actor.  You are background, you haven't even hit the Z list yet.


Hey, Peter, check out channel 9!


Not really.  Keep paying off the refs though it seems to be working.


Did you get a Military/Veteran's discount on your coke and chicken fingers? You had just served in a war!


Have you been on r/spacedicks?


RemindMe! 2 days "did that guy shit his pants"


Kudos for being awesome and classy when faced with random dudes who have all seen your tittays. =)


*browses gonewild, then checks how his post in ladyboners is doing*


notice how your an idiot?

what i am saying, of course your an idiot


Gotta agree - nothing quite as disconcerting as seeing a perfectly drawn pair of eyebrows on the side of a girl's nose.


**LMAO!**  No, sorry.  More like aaaaaaaaaaawwwwwhaaahhaaahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaaaaaaaaaahhh when his bitch divorces his ass within 5 years.

Libs and marriage don't mix.  Just like gays and marriage.


It was disgusting how naturally she went into lie/cheat mode.


WER, WHERT DA FERCK DERD I JERST RERD.


You should see this guy: http://i.imgur.com/b6i7iKe.gifv


If someone is confused by this post they are probably handicaped mentally. But thanks


Straight guy here. I have to admit, that fucking guy is living large. Imagine being fucking Clint Eastwood's son in high school, looking like a younger version of him.

That guy drowned in 16-year-old pussy.


See: WorstAnswerPossible.

It's a novelty account whose sole gimmick is trying to be "offensive".


It's kinda like finding out a poster is male and yelling "Balls or gtfo".


Hmmm, that's funny. Didn't see it then, but I did see it now. Good thing Reddit posts don't revolve around you.


That she's watching porn?


He knows it's true, but he also knows that his entire career depends on ignoring it... but he *sooooo* knows it's true...

Poor guy, I'd hate to be in his situation. :P

EDIT: Keep downvoting kids. I got nearly 20,000 in comment karma to burn, earned for well over a year of unapologetic posting. The truth is the truth, and I'll gladly stand for it, for those who cannot.


"Scooby-**doobie**-doo!"


ok I was afraid that it might have been something that TSM didn't want out there so they buy it then take it off line.


So your saying I should put shelves on my counter?


Words are bad! What if mommy finds out???


You *smelled* your mom's dildo?


I used to choose the colors to make it look classy, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I thought that said "Asian" and was confused as to what his race had to do with it.


Again, source?

lol, downvoted because I want proof of this claim? Man, sometimes this subreddit is terrible.


We were, however, born just in time to browse these *dank memes*.


>i see your good

Where's all the grammar nazis? SRSLY REDDIT!


Helps cope with the sadness.


...what?  I didn't see any questions in your comment.


Every single time. These are good every single fucking time.


There's like hundreds of playthroughs of all the games.


Unless you say "No homo" after said act.


But he's right. Nobody does care.

EDIT: Wow, you guys didn't like this all that much. Never knew that you guys were so serious about who laughs at what. My bad.


absolutely but in my case it was a little bit of both. I guess the people I knew were the ones that facilitated the start of my business so I would have to say that who you know is very important unfortunately.


I would not be suicidal by the second day just because of solitary. End of story. That's exceptionally weak-minded.


As a medical professional, I approve of this.


i'm pissed that kucinich wasted my tax dollars on stupid bills.


I don't see anything wrong with that. If we let the gays marry, who next? The jews?


Yep. The brigades appear out in full force today.


You just like his money!


Breaking: he only speaks like that to black audiences, and then panders like a little bi*&^ to tell them the America is racist and he is their savior.


or else it gets the fries again.


LOL DA WEDDITORS DON HAVE GIRLFWIEND SO DEY DON KNOW WAT YOU TALKING ABOOT OP GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yo negativekarmaguy is an underdog

commentin' and commentin' on [/r/askreddit](/r/askreddit) and [/r/blogs](/r/blogs)

Typin' and typin' just tryin' to get his voice heard

Showin' he's a warrior of the written word.

But he's feelin' down, thinks people think he's a nerd,

so let's give him some upvotes so justice is served.

PEACE


I just saw another poster showing the one from 2012. This is clearly not that picture, though they are identical questions. I can only assume the teacher did this on purpose or my daughter is lying to me. Either way, I'm on a mission to find out now.


Luckily I can help you. I would not cut those off, they will turn into fruit bearing branches.


Your an asshole.

Edit:  your all assholes


One motorcycle, round trip.


Opposite hover hand

is what my hand is

it's coming down you pussy

so you know where it is

little handshake with the snail

it is how all women should

greet me and all in fact do

and all do all do

ref.

My opposite to hover hand

Explore your vagina

So i can see pleasure on your face

When i meet you everytime

and everybody...


This is why I keep coming back to reddit.


Just shut the fuck up


> I have told them multiple times I am blind, I will never drive.

Well, not with that defeatist attitude!


>* Furfags
>
>* Good
>
>Pick two.

FTFY


Has he informed NASA that he made this incredible discovery?


Being really poor and having a difficult life makes you act differently than people more well off...


i'm now your best friend.  forever.  we should get tatoo's of each others face.


fuck you Dorkly.com marketer and fuck your shitty website


only if i'm famous for songwriting.


Depending on your height? You're a chubbsy ubbsy.

Pretty damn under average.

Don't get butthurt, fatty.


TIL Korean heiresses have the emotional maturity of parrots.


I just got done with that level and would be super pissed if I saw this 20 minutes ago. Please tag that stuff as a spoiler.


This is kind of beside the point... but aren't shotguns pretty big? How does one surreptitiously bring one into school?


I used to show up as the dragon, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Man Woody Harrelson really fucked himself here huh??!


Mark Twain is one of my favorite authors-- I just think it's a stupid comic that's joke is nothing more than basically pointing out the name of the goddamned character.

Also: fuck off. I read books like your mother sucks cock.


Maybe it actually costs a pair of pants.


If it makes you feel better you can have an up vote.


>This explains **congress.**

FTFY


We can't tell from this pic if that is a male or female dog, so don't go making assumptions


I wish i was at the same boat with them.


Seriously? The number of people who use text speech, and can't distinguish between the words "your" and "you're", and you're gonna give me shit about being up at 3 in the morning and absent mindedly using the wrong spelling? o0


Because they have to leave their houses.


I call upon karma conspiracy here...


And his socks will stick together.


No, his point was obvious.  His chess move was illegal.


What's sad is that I was totally expecting the story to end in the worst way possible.


Same thing, but with my mom :)


Your nieces need you to pay my credit card bills.


Violence is never the answer.


...and then I dropped the bumper and walked back to my car.


It's just so much fucking food.

Edit: Where I work, there aren't 8 combos lying around waiting to be heated up. We have to make it and it's just a pain in the ass.


That definitely sums up my high school experience


New item acquired!

You found:

The Tumor

Level 100 Blemish

Sucks to be you

(Open kid loadout)                     (ok, resume game)


Did anyone else sing along to the dial up tone when first connecting?  Bdle dle dle blooooo be aww be awww errrrrrrrr...


It's real. Stop trying to change it.


You wife her. You wife her good.


I have no problem with smart black people. I have a problem with niggers.


Just don't shake his hand.


How cold you enjoy that? That's like saying you enjoy shoving shards of glass into your shoes before walking and eating rusty nails


Bananas are really really big and turn really tiny. Then there is Jack and the Beanstock. And he really wanted that banana. And he pulled it down and ate it. Then I saw an apple at the city.


Go fuck yourself, reddit is not your personal fucking family forum. Go get a fucking therapist you sick and stupid bitch.


They have been selling these since february already but nobody found it to be a big deal. But when apple released this macbook everyone is like ooh-aah it's so thin yet it has less ports and a lower res display even though the asus is even thinner and has user replaceable ssd and wifi card.


The feminist movement won't allow a real men's rights movement to exist. It would be mocked into the dirt before it ever had a chance to get off the ground.


Zis is very interesting.


not really, asserts ~~your~~ a second class status.

Edit: In hindsight I should have said secondary and added a winking smiley face.
[Ahh well](http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumblarge_552/1288618981qq8jz7.jpg)


Mark Chapman shot him because he believed that living in a mansion while preaching love and sharing made Lennon a giant hypocrite.


Dear god, it's a downvote massacre. No one is making it out without a severe blow to the karma.


How about this for a rallying cry:
NASA and the TSA. One agency spends millions to monitor Uranus. The other agency spends billions to monitor your anus.


You did awful. Not all little boys grow up to rape women, but the ones who do were helped by a rape culture that makes these types of things more and more okay with attitudes like "she deserved it, she asked for it."

Nice try though! Looks like the only absurd train you boarded was your own.


I vouch for this. I read that he was watching fetish poop videos while hanging out with William H. Macy and his boomerang collection.


It's awful that you disciminate the way you do but I accept you.


I love how in each timeline Pierce found a way to tell his Eartha Kitt story.


You know what *is* of considerable size?

The amount of beastly dick juice you guzzle down on a regular basis.


There is no North Dakota. Think about it: have you ever met anyone from North Dakota?


Came here to say this.


The internal battle my dog has between excitement and shame when I get home after he's been in the garbage is hilarious.

His tail still wags, just at the end though.

I make a big show out of being disappointed and I can tell it just kills him that he made a mess.

Love that little mutt.


Rape jokes. Stay classy /r/atheism


Exactly.  My 10 year is coming up, and thanks to facebook I have no desire to see those people.


Yeah, I guess you're right, but I've also seen so many gems there that  where totally ignored.


To be honest if it does happen we may have a problem.

But for some reason I think we're OK.


I know your kind, bigot.  I've met cowards like you many times.  I only hope you can work out the issues you have and deal with being molested.


It's rude to type with potatoes in your mouth


James Bonnie? Poor guy. I'd burn myself if I had a name like that.


I live up to my namesake.


Hint: He's speaking English.


http://imgur.com/4Ymf6

Whoops! Drew Spongebob instead of Patrick.


I used to reply to top comments to ride the awesome karma trains, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


As long as they're not napping in the fuck room.


right in le feels xD only 90s kids get this


fucking laser tag GRENADES?!???!??! where have I been?


Literally censorship. I had to unsub from technology because of how fucking terrible it got after the "censorship" debacle.

If that happens to any other sub I'll instantly unsub


Hey man, don't copy that floppy!


That's a fallacious comparison


"Prison is for rapists, murderers, robbers...If you lock someone up for smoking a plant that makes them happy, *YOU'RE* the fucking criminal." - Joe Rogan


> Journalism is like pornography: When it's good, you get wood, and the government always tries to prevent it from being public.

TFTFY

EDIT: Fuck me, -72 thats a record for me.


Passive aggressive bosses are the worst.


Windows 8!? I'm trying to avoid installing shitty software, not use it as my OS.


Passenger side wit the booty on ratchet

Driver dials radio to find another smash hit

Lil Jon comin on but twerkin was a bad call

It's ya own ass fault ya ass falled up on the asphalt.


dont even pretend to know about her she is above you fuck you and downey im done with this you circle of faggots has really driven me to drinking tonight to calm my nerves i cant believe the band of homos he has following him around if only you guys knew the real him you wouldnt defend him over the internet


Sailors drink Port, there's never any Left.


Um, no. It is a simple painting that he OBVIOUSLY drew in MS Paint. I could do a better job. :)


If you consider a soldier who intentionally shoots himself in the foot a good marksman, then yes.


Why you insulting the dealer?

What if it was any other product in the world? Wouldn't the owner react exactly the same if he knew a salesman had died with merchandise that hadn't been paid for?


I'm waiting for the M. Night Shyamalan twist.


So does bitching about reposts.


Yes, but one handgun against three machine guns only works in Hollywood.


It was nothing to die for...


sounds like pretty solid sex advice too.


The fact that the you wrote this is cringy because it shows that you think people care what you have to say.


>"...So?"

The voice of experience, right there.


any liberal arts job can be done by someone with an actual skill in their free time.  and i probably wouldn't hate it too much if people stopped acting.  TV/acting is mostly a waste of time and a bunch of human circlejerking, although fun circlejerking....i can find plenty of other ways to waste my time


Spacey only plays roles of presidents from now on.


Where do you live bro? You wanna meet up and get your ass beat?


dude, that etch-a-sketch was beautiful. made me ponder the transitory nature of human existence, the impermanence of all things, and some other deep shit. And it all happened because you couldn't, as the Etch_A_Sketcher, keep your portrait of Stoya up forever...man


Cool bro. what's your gamer tag?


Yeah, gotta love it. Extreme body modifications and LensCrafters.


You're just jealous that you will never have a bandwagon because you always choke in the playoffs.


Nice try, Bear Grylls


It's not polite to objectify women (as this post clearly shows).

EDIT: Wow. > -40 downmods in under two hours. You guys must think I'm an idiot. OF COURSE I KNOW HE WAS REFERRING TO THING FROM THE AADAMS FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EDIT 2: I WAS MAKING A JOKE. OF *COURSE* I DON'T DISAPPROVE OF SCANTILY CLAD WOMEN.


He did well in school.


Because it's irrelevant to the current discussion. That shit happened 6 months ago.


I think it was probably just your turn to fetch.


Well that's just a stupid thing to say


My wife does this + a cutesy little girl-ish type thing when she meets new people or needs help. It's really weird to watch. In reality she's smart as hell, very successful in her field and a sharp-edged woman. People fall over themselves to help her, so I guess that's why she does it.


network engineer, kido. I'll happen to let you know that I'm not only a CCIE, but a CCAr. I've graduated top of my ph.d class in network engineering. Don't tell me I'm not an engineer you cuntflap.


How the *heck* do you even withhold a hs diploma?
-------

I'm withholding the upvote until you change it.


I disagree. Just a boring homophobic post


That if I shit hard enough I can have whatever the fuck I want. It was a great life lesson that I have used in countless situations.


Well, SORRY we aren't as smart as you.

/I wish these were real so bad.


>in an April 1999 interview with Rolling Stone, DeAngelo admitted to picking on Eminem as a kid: “There was a bunch of us that used to mess with him. You know, bully-type things. … We flipped him right on his head at recess. When we didn’t see him moving, we took off running. We lied and said he slipped on the ice.”

Looks like you done goofed DeAngelo


The argument has progressed so much further than what you're responding to.

**TL;DR** - You don't understand what I mean when I say "perfect match." Here's a hint: It's not the same as "perfect relationship" or "perfect girl."


Wow, the manager tried to hustle you at a wedding that the owners'  grandchild was actually at? That's brass.


>OP should have ~~eaten~~ **smoked** it and discovered what alchemical effects it has.

FTFY

**edit:** I will not delete this.  I am dumb (currently not a stoner) and deserve the downvotes.


people dont realize swimming is not about being huge and muscled


Wasn't the movie rated pg13. So no?


It's only forbidden for Muslims to draw Mohammed. Non-believers can do what they want (with regard to idolatry and depicting Mohammed).
As fundamental as Muslim extremists are about their religion, they cherry-pick Islamic teachings and literature as an excuse for the violence they want to commit.


>leaving your bike on the street

As this is in any way surprising.


You use URLs instead of IP Addresses?  Poser.


Why the fuck would you want to remove the Deadmau5 logo? I hate this shitty Adventure Time show. The show is for kids. Come at me bro's.


that was a beautifully complex story - the emotional component blows my mind. When I too was about 12 or 13, I used to indulge in occasional cybersex via AIM chatrooms. I remember getting older and realizing those "girls" were probably middle-aged men, but in my mind the experience was still that of having been talking with a girl.

I'm sorry Rachel broke your heart dude.


That's what my wife said when she had to do things to the entire length of my penis on Tuesday: "It's going to be  a *long* day".

Edit: and hard

Edit2: grammar


What kind of angle did you have where you knew it was in her ass?


Is it really that hard to check the subreddit or title *before* making inane comments, though?


Or, rather "Thanks.  Your daughter thinks so too."


shall I rephrase?  Were you born with ovaries, were you born with a uterus?  Were you born a female human being?  No?  Then you're a happy man.


This . Unlit parking lots are basically rape lots


> This was actually a point made in my calc class that animals tend to optimize their path in congruence with optimization using calculus.

Holy god, you're bad at writing. It's unfortunate everyone is going to vote you up only because you mentioned the word calculus. "I'm in that class too! +1"


I didn't leave the Republican party, the Republican party left me.


I'm laughing, I guess you are a Republican?


Crimes committed here (civil/criminal):
     -harrassment
     -slander
     -libel
     -degrading of character
     -emotional damages

You have proof of all of this.  Go to law enforcement.


I thought Darius and Jarvan were the Dunkmasters?!

Edit: Oh you guys are referring to that retarded Yi video that wasn't even funny. Keep le downvotes coming.


"IST MAYONNAISE EIN INSTRUMENT?"


For that money you can buy a better phone without these things...


That took me entirely too long to get.


Yes. That is what I'm saying.


The people in the backseat might disagree with you


great customer service right there, i cant think why anyone would consider your response rude and condescending.


HAHA that is EXACTLY what that look meant. It's amazing how bandmates learn to communicate with each other with a just quick glance and a nod. I've never understood it myself, and I've been in several bands...


Lol that shouldn't have been downvoted.


did your balls go *flrrrbrblrlblblblblblbrlblrbblrbl*?


Age has nothing to do with being an asshole.


That's awesome that SirSpam solved it for everyone to read but I think this is for delverofsecrets to explore and report back with. If this ends up being some really awesome top secret mystery of life and delver is some kind of "chosen one", I wouldn't want others to spoil it for him.

Then again, this guy could just be trying to lure you into giving him a blow job.


Then post all of those.  Seeing a child portion like that makes me want to see fat taxes.  I was hoping this was in Dubai or somewhere like that.


...
...
OH!!!
You're gay!!!


No I'm in class and on mobile.


I am now less impressed


literally......kill yourself


I was going to make a joke about a foxy grandpa being *in* you... butt whatever... i'll let it go.

Edit: I guess I am a little confused... a lot of people are upset about the lack of penis pic.....
[So here ya go I guess](http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3pqfwr/)


Yeah, actors aren't attention whores or anything like that.


I used to think vegetables were gross when I was a kid. Turns out my mom was just a really subpar cook.


It's just a birthday. The needs of the living shouldn't include a party where they are the center of attention. To be honest I think the OP is being pretty self centered. She claims she just wants to see the family on her birthday, I doubt they would refuse to let her attend her brother's dinner. It seems like she is just bitter that the attention will be drawn away from her.


PASS ME THE FUCKING BREAD YOU HEATHEN WHORE! Sorry, just the demons acting up again.


I don't care how many there are as long as Stardust is in it and Oldust isn't.


well that was brockward


Do you write for Futurama? I heard in inspires loads of you pinheads to turn your back on Him.


It saddens me to know he won't do this.


or like... the king of crying about nonsense.


it's a Simpsons reference - OP didn't use the serious tag, sooo....


No shit! Practically red pill at the age of 8!


/r/subaru is very unbiased. Unless you are some douche that drives a Mitsubishi


**WTF LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS.**


That's a joke, not an excuse.  You actually went back to her place?  Sounds like you wanted some of the  ham and are now crying because you didn't get any.  Don't be bringing your chubby chasing escapades around here.

You thought she was so gross you went back to her place with her.

Yeah right.


Unfortunately, in all seriousness that is only level 67.


u nasty ass gamers need to quit talking about inappropriate stuff in r/gaming. my girlfriend gets on here sometimes and i dont want her seeing ur perverted posts. gamers are gross in general and this kinda stuff just gives u an even worse reputation. u nerds need to clean up ur image or else eveeryone will keep hating u


Not sure if upset but unlikely. Chelsea winning the Champions League.


do whatever the fuck you want, my boyfriend is already gonna be paying for this later.


definitely.

I know I have avoided talking to girls I dont know just because I didn't want to seem like creep.

Sometimes I just overhear a conversation or something and really want to join in because it is something that interests me, but you simply can't do things like that.


Fairly is subjective. Why are you afraid to make an offer in public?


By 'burrito', he meant 'enough money to buy a burrito, that will also buy me a piece of crack'.


Why is he a douche? What have you done for anyone?


Unable to comply; building in progress


This comment isn't really interesting enough.  Comments are required to have at least some amount of useful material that can further continue a conversation.  If you do not edit this comment in due time (1 day) I will have to enforce the Global Retiquette Enforcement (GRE).

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me @Karmanautz


...Faggot.

As in "Elton John was prancing around on stage like a flaming OP."


can reddit adopt a rule whereby you can't spout off facts from a celebs wiki like they matter, and are interesting?  if i have to read another "OMG BROS THE ALWAYS SUNNY CAST R ALL MARRIED 2 EACH OTHERZ" i'm going to have to find a new place to procrastinate my life away on the internet.


NUH-UH. AND MY MICROWAVE AGREES WITH ME


All you seem to do is ejaculate inanities.


You mean like [this one](http://media.giphy.com/media/UZXZl2d3S9YgU/giphy.gif)?


I *can't* tell if you're being *serious*.


Speaking on behalf of all guys, there's enough left for everyone.


Why the downvotes? Reading his replies this is very obviously a troll.


What's it like having Justin Bieber as a mom?


That word.  I do not think it means what you think it means.

Edit: Please, continue to downvote me.  It's not like I'm concerned that someone took the word "inception", then created a different word by making an incorrect assumption about the meaning of the word "inception".  I'm just trying to piss people off, is all.


I don't even know my unlock code number.  Just the pattern.


Probably because I'm not going to change it.  Now you get to pick whether you'd like to continue to type out the URL or just move your mouse an inch to the right and use the other link.


Yup.....the sister was a bro in this case...not a blocker.


Animals can be so amusing :)


A bowl of ice cream and french toast sticks and some cereals and goldfish.


No. I'm 16 and I drink ~17+ a night(whenever I do drink). And I've only been drinking for a year.


All 4 xbone fanboys downvoted you

Edit. The rest are COD fans


bonus mindfuck: some stars you see in the sky no longer exist any more.


Someone could use this to identify which account holds which characters and perhaps stalk and annoy its user, or help perpetrators choose their phishing victims with a more targeted approach. Perhaps someone is already using this since the watermark has been around for at least two to four years already.


As an English teacher, I can safely say 95% of the ~~kiddo~~ kids I work with born after 9/11 cannot have even a remotely intelligent conversation.

Edit: English teacher can't English good on mobile. 😔


Illegal???

Man, that's weird as hell, what country is this?

And illegal or not you still made the decision to subject him to that. Why?  Terribly sad and selfish if you ask me


I did my best in the absence of our hero.

http://i.imgur.com/MbTED.jpg

Edit: I'm honored by you guys' nice responses :'D


Jesus, we know. Every time the phenomenon is even peripherally relevant, redditors are just climbing over each other to seem like the smartest guy in the room; parroting 'HEY U GUYZ THIS IS THE STREISSAND EFFERCT' - Sir Monty McTrilby, PhD. It's not obscure, and you're not being insightful.

Edit: Omagerd, this cacophony of downvotes is like the Streisand effect, guys!


*looks at username*

yup this guy's legit


I used to win and win, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


As an American, I do the same in other countries. I'm officially Canadian when I travel abroad.


Bravo.  You earned your upvote.


Pretty sure we just witnessed this guy slowly spiral towards insanity.


I am drunk and what the fuck.

Fuck your beep boop.


> Driving fast on highways

Cue Germans snickering.


Sheesh. Your no fun at all. When did you loose your sense of humor? I guess I should of known by you're lame user name. Defiantly killing the mood. Definately.

Edit: thanks, kyjellopie. Their is just no way for me to enjoy this thread anymore.


This is kind of a hilarious AMA to do on fathers day.


I know I'm biased, but I think in terms of the quality of players involved, the jimmy graham/max unger trade was the biggest trade of the offseason.


Honestly, you deserve an actual engineer.


Will we ever get tired of this dumbest form of racism humour?


We've suggested reading the introductory books to the Harry Potter series & then getting him an "Invisibility Cloak"


thats the thing. The player base that does the content legit is so small compared to the cheese players that eventually the hunger would overcome them.


Hey, motherfucker. Me and Clegg were blowin lines because I earned that right as a goddamn American hero and sports legend. You ever take Ketamine? Sometimes it makes you put your dick on weird things. Freezers, hookers, motherfucking Meatball subs... You didn't get a tip because you failed to acknowledge my mullets superiority as a hair style. Just watch, I'm bringing that shit back! Boom!


Not suprised that the guy is Black.


JJ Watt best football player, Aaron Rodgers most valuable football player


The general theme of Islam is always "kill the infidels".

Do you see how it's wrong to make such generalisations?


Sims 3 is fun overall for this. My favorite unintended game is "how many illegitimate children can one man have?"


Whelp it's in the wrong place and should be removed then.


I used to be quite saddened by all the destroyed correspondence through history, the best example I can think of being George Washington's letters were destroyed by Martha after his death.

Think about how great it would be to have a personal glimpse of Washington like that.... Then we could also find out he was a supa freak nasty like Napoleon.


Oh sorry. Is Lumphoma the politically correct term for gay AIDS?


I'm sorry to break it to you...but these women are just really horrible at letting you down gently.


Takes a really big loser to even post something like this.  Some day you will go outside in the real world and realize how pathetic you are.


Someone thought of the spaghetti-pot-bath-time-on-the-stove idea and made the mistake to think it was a good idea.


A lot of people say that when they meet members of my family. They can be really nice then their eyes glaze over when the word of the lord comes over them.


So wait... He said he'd rather have Bradley start "then allen"? Ok so what you're saying is that Rondo wanted them both to start, but they should take turns? Please go on....


Definitely.  He's a crip now.


Got 99 problems but kanye ain't one


Equalizer! Very diplomatic of you.


Probably because it wasn't decided that you were a threat to modern gaming because you wanted to make a game that didn't fit in with the broad outlook.

Also, I take it you're not trying to promote equality in the industry at large. You're a gamer who is also a girl, congratulations. But you're in a very different position than the women who are much more forward facing and vocal.


And it's fun as fuck. I think. I can't really remember.


You know, you *can* just say "That happened" without making it a hashtag-esque link


As long as you don't replace soy with regular milk. That can fuck some people's innards up real bad.


actual champions, hate that word, its like any other champions weren't champions at all. But a group of this quality would mean that it would be extremely difficult and very little goals scored :(


I wish you all the garlic bread in the universe.
If/when you're in Seattle, I'll even make you some. Like, six different kinds.


> Classy

http://i.imgur.com/jQpuy2S.gifv


WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?


HI WEDDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TODAY I WAKE UP EXTWA EARWY SO DAT I CAN SPEND ALL DAY ON DA WEDDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


My theory: This is actually being perpetrated by 4chan as a way to find new furry porn.


but her combined weight and drink doesnt change!!


Isn't she bat-shit crazy though? I thought someone told me she was against vaccinations?


They played a definite, noticeable part, though. Right? Or, are you unwilling to say anything positive at all about SRS?


That didn't end the way I thought it would. Good work buddy


As I mentioned before, I wanted him/her to know that I did what it told me to do (Visit the profile)


His name is Robert Paulson


You don't own reddit, you don't own r/philippines. If you don't like what gets posted here in this *public* forum, then downvote or by all means post it the fuck somewhere else. I was just kidding about your mom, so chill out. Your dad though, he needs to get a new wig.


I can only assume she was found in a storage locker.


I always laugh when you teenagers see rewards to games you never played, even though this is a final fantasy mmo. The outfit is from a game called FF7, arguably one of their best titles. I know it's not ff13 or whatever one you first started on, but for the other 95% of the ffxiv audience, this is exciting. Sorry it's not pokemon or yolo or whatever else you kids are playing these days.


I see your talking shit because your half life is the greatest. I'm prepared to judge you on a first name basis. You can't even function because you're so fertile. Needing extra material because you're slow as a turtle.


Doubtful. No electronic devices at the table is a rule at every casino I have ever been in.


At what point did you and mom move into dealing pot to the school kids?


I don't say that it's not according to the rules. I just say it's stupid. So it's a "rules-approved stupid subreddit".


Romney was super aggressive and corrected Obama whenever possible and was pretty confident in his answers. Obama just seemed tired and lost.


Would you have sex with us immediately?

EDIT: I can't get no respect!


Only when they are visibly dirty


I had outlined the reasons in my original post and only one of them was annoyance to the general public. Do you know what they call annoyances to the public in the world outside your basement? A disturbance to the peace, and a hefty punishment to boot. So not only have I delineated several other reasons, but annoyance is a perfectly valid argument against the preponderance of  tildes on its own.


Off*, you fucking kike.


> Will post videos and more pictures if people are interested.

This is going to be national news man, no shit people are interested.


Gosu won the only marksman duel*
Riven is an ad carry


This edit, I like it.


The last line "MEN MAKE ME SICK" is typical of a feminazi (I agree, she does make feminists looks bad, but sadly there are many feminists who hold this point of view)


Shout, "FUCK YOURSELF!"


Yeah, because fat is muscle mass.

How is this wrong?


HOLY FUCK THEY HAD DOWEL GUNS?


The US Government is on the verge of nationalizing 3 failing automakers and you're concerned with how cute some cat is? *Seriously?* The failed financial bailout may cause the US government to declare bankruptcy and you care about this shit? **Get some priorities!**


1. Working in the Rail Industry in UK

2. Was found on a internet site

3. Kirsten Price

As for seeing my penis....its cool....


more like, the dumbest idea ever. instead of using indoor plumbing, i'm going to walk to a water source and manually roll it back to my house, still sound genius?


Divine Comedy reference. I like it.


Still getting upvotes though....


Quite the story, but I call bullshit.


Why not? I feel a bit sorry for the girl.


Ah so you're a pterodactyl!


until the appearance of crazy bitch skyler


waaaat

My Jimmy, you've grown into such a handsome man. I remember when you were this tall!

Now give me that dick.


don't remember trying to be funny


"Now tell him he's a pretty horse."


Btw if I was the raptors I would have traded Derozen and Lowry to the cavs for wiggins


This always seems to happen when doing oral. She's like "don't stop" and I'm like "shit... what was I just doing?"


Narratives don't push themselves!


You're the one who otter be cracking clams open and blasting pearls on tummies.


God damn are you ok? I just asked what made it so special, yet you and every other American glory hunter is making a big deal of it.


Aaand then you called the cops?!


<Insert witty comment about an upvote about witty comment here>


of herself!  That's the mindfuck part!


I used to lurk a lot on Reddit, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


What I have learned in my time on Reddit:

Never mess with the Irish


Savage is not a conservative;  she's not even **American**.   She's a Jewess,  and such revolting behavior should be no suprise whatever.    [Just reading the Talmud shows what psychos they are.](http://revisionisthistory.org/talmudtruth.html)


Urinate on the corpse to seal the deal.


Guys I'm sorry for my behavior.

;)


That's simply not true. I would recommend you looked for sources written by Muslims on the subject. I can suggest some to you if you'd like.


OMg that just made my day, I would give you that one just based on creativity


With over 75k subscribers, one of the top 500 subreddits, which had the most growth per day last week - making generalisations about fph subscribers is ridiculous - unless it is hating fat people


Sorry, had to downvote because a 0 makes your post hilarious.


If she likes it, either you're small or she's tried it once or twice before.


"so mad". Now my new term for "dat ass".


Right, Seattle doesn't have enough pretentious assholes.


I watched them bring that huge jug of lemon/lime out of the back while making a batch of rice and yelled out "I KNOW THE SECRET" and they all chuckled at me.. then gave me double meat without charging me. <3 chipotle.


>verbally assault

>deserves it


Go fuck yourself Racist prick.


he should have done this one. "AAAAAAAAAAAAH OMG THERES GIRLS IN THE GUYS' BATHROOM AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" As high-pitched as possible


LMFAO @ "RIP in peace". Da fuq?


I'm 20 and I would love to do this.

When I see gift cards at grocery stores or stupid shit at a gas station. It takes a lot of self control not to go all 4-year old on the stands and tear down the cards one by one...

One of these days...


She hasn't caught on yet, or at least said anything.  I'm considering writing a Locale plugin (llama can use those) that allows for some randomization, ie, a list of messages and some fudging with the send time, but I haven't bothered yet.

I'm unsure what her reaction might be once/if she figures out I scripted it.


You just are too new and have supported poor content in the past.


"I think the waiter wanted me to bang me, he gave me a condom and everything."


The down votes say otherwise.


Ladies and gentlemen: the President of the United States of America referencing his meme.

Good night and God bless.


Fuck the police...... no seriously the police running fucking everything up like crack....shit was the shit then people start getting arrested cause its "illegal" because some 60 year old white guy doesn't understand Darwinism.... lol


My worst one so far is "I could stay up a few extra hours and finish this, but I'm so tired. Maybe if I sleep a few hours and wake up at 3 a.m., I can finish it on time and be well-rested."


Redditor for 106 days, he checks out.

EDIT: DOWNVOTES? THANKS GUISE!


My favorite has to be antibabypille. (Anti-conception pills, literally Anti-baby pills.)


Oh God. The Obama "But everybody has a valid viewpoint! Maybe the true answer is somewhere in the middle!" milquetoast aisle-reaching brigade has arrived.


Implying 4chan doesn't already know.

[](/twicrazy)They know all.


Why would you want to make any of that god awful food anyway?


Women are unfairly represented in coal mining, oil drilling, and lumberjacking.  We need to fix this with mandatory quotas!


Finders keepers. Don't player hate on him.


Common sense is not so common- Francois-Marie Arouet


Impressionable teenage girls? I know it's a terrible organisation to join, but I think that's a bit harsh.


I think you can make calls with it?


They greatly inflated the numbers but it DID happen. And ironically theyre committing genocide in Palestine but no one dare question the poor innocent victims in Israel.


It's actually a copy of Windows Vista


barely though, didn't notice it before.


Yea it didn't feel the same as a blow job


The SUV parked there then the bike parked behind it.

EDIT: Also downvote me cause I didn't get a joke o god damn my bad sense of humor PUNISH ME WITH YOUR LOAD OF DOWNVOTES I LOVE IT AAWWW YEAHHH IM A WHORE OMNOMNOM O GOD ITS SO GOOD


Pro-tip for work masturbators: ejaculate into the nearest plant pot - results in super human plants which possess extraordinary power. I completely drenched a little sapling with my semen on Friday evening, by Monday it was fully grown and catching flies for supper.


I really don't feel bad about it. It's 2012, that's how the world works now. Get used to it.


You owe me a beer and a new keyboard.


doesn't matter if the results on the body are the same. The Minnesota starvation experiment showed mental and physical reactions at 1500 calories a day. many diets are 1200 and some i've seen are as low as 500.


A little thing called Freedom.


He stole it from me because his time machine is awesome and real.


As you bulk up, yon wee man gets absorbed into your gut like the Sphinx getting buried in sand. Haul off the sand and there's a lot more of your national treasure to show off to the tourists.


I know right? I mean, copying someone just a few lines down from them should be a goldmine of karma!


This. Go for drinks, enjoy yourself. Don't go in with the goal of getting laid, go with the goal of making a new friend. If you go for that, it will only get better.


And Bill Gates is a saint because he saved a few Africans...

</sarcasm>


That's some serious Charlie horsepower.


Edit: WOW, front page, thanks Reddit!


Kucinich in the '08 primaries was classic.

"Mr. Kucinich, why didn't you vote for the PATRIOT ACT?"

"Because I read it"


Yeah, and she can really take a gunshot to the head, too. An inspiring individual
*edit* what, y'all think that's easy or something? Don't trivialize that feat


We love the whores and weed


It does lol, you haven't played starcraft II!


It truly is terrible. Imagine that kid going through school and talking like that to his teachers and staff. Its horrible.


How about the fact that if she's proud of being English and signs up for going to Afghanistan then she is 99% likely to be a moronic racist cunt? She is pretty damn plain anyway, Jesus, guys... You would fuck a horse if it looked vaguely human. Wouldn't you? :)


You looked for over an hour? At that point, you could have easily made it past Gary and off to somewhere far nicer. Such as literally anywhere else. Northern Merrillville is kinda sketchy, but Crown Point is right off 65 and perfectly safe to piss in.


Well... I don't think you should behave that way, it's dishonest.


There was no heart attack. He's just a genius at avoiding the walk of shame.


Incredible, how this went over your head. Under what stone do you live?


You know times are hard when you start measuring the value of wages in cheeseburgers.


Or a successful breeder. A **lot** of women like it when men violate their boundaries. In fact, they'll put up more and more resistance just to enjoy the experience. The difference between a breeder and a rapist is that a breeder knows when it's a game and a rapist can't tell or doesn't care when the woman is putting up real defenses.


was halfway through my reply when i read your username..=.=


who knows what the fuck you're even talking about. if we meet face to face and you mouth off we'll see what happens tough guy


He's had no other choice.


Grow up. It's a small price to pay for a good game. Stop acting entitled.


He clearly took the Jackson 5 approach to algebra.


Also sometimes comment.