IDK he always shows up within a minute of the shout for me, usually way way less (hearing his wings rip through the air and him flying overhead fighting for you is awesome). Maybe you're too much of a pussy to be commanding a dragon? IDK if I was a dragon I wouldn't be able to respect anyone from reddit because they're all little bitches that play cats in a fantasy game.


Something about watching a grown man play pretend while the children look on in embarrassment is really uncomfortable. That he is willing to schill his kids out for a cheap political buck in this kind of half-assed stunt is fantastically shitty.


i dont have a iphone so my battery last all day while im doing awsome things all day and week


He seems like a good crime boss

Edit : I can't believe this is my highest voted comment lol


Get your shit music outta hear, we're talking about Queen.

Edit: Wow, you people really like shit music.


I also like getting people to take pictures of my unit and showing it off.


You've stumbled on the classic reddit double-standard! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Repost joke about race/ethnicity/country that one is allowed to make fun of (the Irish) -- Front page of /r/funny

Repost joke about race/ethnicity/country that one is NOT allowed to make fun of (Jews) -- downvotes galore

Enjoy the negative karma, sir.


Wanna hear a joke about my vagina?

Nevermind, you'll never get it.


Assuming you are American, you have a 64% chance of getting divorced in the next 4 years.

Just FYI.


only the leader of the troops can do that, and you're just a lowly archer.


Courage wolf approves


I hate this because it is the reason for the idiots who think its okay to peek through a closed stall to see if its occupied. I don't get it. That awkward eye contact is infuriating.


hahahaha get fucked greedy hoarder :D. you deserve this.


I won't take no for an answer.


don't say that about yourself


Let's not jump to conclusions, he took a picture of it, we don't know he was able to read any of it.


Well the child did nothing wrong to deserve the raping. The girl did nothing to deserve to be raped. You just seem to fucking stupid to argue with. There is a huge difference between what Amanda did and your examples.


Hey now, Megaupload has cost me somewhere around $100 Trillion dollars in lost revenue. I know this because I use the same scale as the MPAA.

(The imagination scale)


For saying that I was dropping it and that he should enjoy his time on reddit?

What the fuck is wrong with you people, do they not teach you all reading comprehension?


My uncle does this thing where he can take his thumb off. Crazy.


Ignoring the truth only lands you in ignorance my brother. The palestinian people don't deserve the unjust treatment they face on a daily basis. Your government is to blame for it all. This was just the beginning. A new world order will form when the United States inevitably falls. Power will be back in the hands of the Muslims.


Asians are still really weird about black people in my experience.  I'm assuming they just don't have a lot of black people over there.


A true fan follows a team, not a player.


Hi, my name is Kayla, and I collect incorrect facts about Canada. Ask me anything...


I may be the only person who gets this joke, but it is still very funny.


Sounds like someone had a special fetish...


I used to ride the karma trains, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I prefer to express my love through complex, layered mind fucking.


I know it's bad reddiquette but it's a comedy sub people should be able to take a few no no words amirite?


I'd say both jobs make quite a bit of dough


Never pay attention to what he says. See it as entertainment, but don't take the guy seriously. Everyone who's got Halo already knows it's awesome. It's not like Yahtzee will ever make a real difference, and when he does? It's usually at the gamers loss.

Dont trust that fucking hack.

EDIT: LOL, look at all the limp yahtzee dicks I pissed off. Oh how wonderful :)


Testing testing... 1, 2, 3.


It's a lot easier to not be angry when you deserved what you got.  He was fucked out of his mind on booze and drugs and was beaten to subdue him.


Maybe its because your father was around while you were growing up


You have to pick a flag, if you use a European nation's flag someone else will be angry because they're from an English speaking nation that isn't the flag the OP chose. We all know that Americans aren't the only ones who speak it.


Where Bruce's parents shot first


Uh... 36,700,000 frames/sec divided by 86,400 sec/day = 424.768519 days


Ill never forgive Russell Wilson or Pete Carroll for that throw and call.


I rly lry want to fucking try this ^^ Can you tell me how its done? Is it still possible? I would play a custom with friends tho...


Aren't you the guy who did that thing once and now is forever known for doing that thing?


Question: When you're getting high on your couch, do you feel like you're wasting your life during the high, or after you sober up?


They might not be "top-quality" but they're not bad either. They're just a terrible value. Bang for the buck is not how I would describe Beats.

Edit: RIP my inbox. To everyone saying I'm justifying my purchase of Beats, I [own AudioTechnica's M50x's](http://i.imgur.com/YKIRI7l.jpg). I'm very happy with them, and highly recommend them to anyone looking to buy headphones.


y dnt u just nt bcos smtmes ur gm wnt wrk as well after


Funny. My sister said "yes" in the Burger King drivethrough.

He proposed with an onion ring.

And they were both working there.

EDIT: I forgot the Simpsons did that. Talk about unoriginal on his part.


I swear to God, if this doesn't become a new meme, I am losing all faith in this site.


Letterman put it best.

"You're too smart to believe what you say."


Interesting how people are being separated and hated for personal decisions. If you believe vaccinations work and are vaccinated.. WHY fear a non vaccinated person since you are tmsupposidly protected?? Perhaps logic means nothing when HUGE amounts of $$$Dollars are on the table....


Haha, for some reason I read that as a ghost story at first. I was like "spooky. the motherfucker ordered DirecTV from the graaaave"


Do you guys think Geoff and Anna have made love? Anna was saving herself for marriage but do you think they gave in to temptation?

edit: downvotes? really??


Still... Gigabit service is a 10GB download in *eighty seconds*. Oh, and gigabit upload as well. Oh, and no caps. Oh, and no throttling or bottlenecks.


Relying on mods just halts the development of the vanilla game. I'm sure the creator of the mod is happy you're advertising it, but I don't think you should be telling people they need mods to play the Minecraft they want.


Or what Skyler is calling him these days; "......".


No I'm superior because I am smarter than you and understand the concept of what we humans like to call a "joke".


this is weird and sweet


wow who cares? made me laugh.

I remember when that was all that was needed


Maybe if your dog didn't dress like such a slut


This is what is wrong with reddit.


8=====D   ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) - *That thing is a joke!*


O wow le edgy post so orig!!!!


"I visited that site a few days ago but can't remember its name. I'm in a conversation right now and want to show it to someone, can you go on my computer and check my browser history for the past few days and try to find it ? It should be in there. Thanks."

\- said no one ever.


Katrina on a smaller scale.


OH FUCK NO! This is when you get in between them and call the mom a line-cutting cunt! Fuck you and your piece of shit kid. Grow some manners!


What exactly do you mean by she looks *great*?


I'm here for the gang bang.


Logged in to say this :P


What did they think at the store when you went to buy nothing but baby oil and a tarp?


Wtf

Edit: I guess using an overused, slightly creepy joke is okay.


I think if you give your dog a blowjob, you do time.


Thanks for a good response. BTW what is a newfag?


The lyric is actually "we're so 3008." I used to say 2008 until my little sister corrected me, then I looked up the lyrics (oh god why) and read them aloud.

One excerpt:

*Here we go, here we go, satellite radio*

*Y'all gettin' hit with boom boom*

*Beats so big I'm steppin' on leprechauns*

*Shittin' on y'all with the boom boom*


Up vote the thread for his brother


I used to really suck at fake phone conversations.

I would always do both ends of the conversation, not realizing how stupid it looked.

"Hey man, what's up?"

"Oh nothing, just baking a cake."

"What for?"

"Because cake."

"Oh, cool.  Later."

"Later."


is this why u stopped playing t


It is if it's your asshole.


because white people are responsible for most of the intellectual progression in the world, while blacks are responsible for most of the crime


I'm sure now you can't remember a lot of things


Oh I'm sorry... I dont remember asking you a god damn thing.


first *sucessful* spongebob reference i have seen in a long time


Memes that I didn't see:

Good Guy Greg

Bad Luck Brian

Lazy College Senior

Success baby/kid

The guy in the costume (I don't always ... but when I do..

Insanity Wolf


ITT: OP doesn't have a business he just doesn't have kids.


lol either way you have gundam in your name so yeah..


and that is how teddy bears are made.


I didn't read that they beat him. They were rough with him, sure, but we are only reading and seeing one side of the table.

Predictably, I am voted down here.


agreed, self driving cars too


Just use RES you reddit scrub.


"In the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior"

 -- Benjamin Franklin


yeah no shit dude, ive listened to gkmc countless times along with s80 and od


and a half teaspoon of salt + 6 teaspoons sugar to a liter of water gives you pedialyte minus the food coloring.

EDIT: there are plenty of better options replying to me.  baking soda/salt/lemon or lime juice.  good stuff.


You even got downvoted for that whoosh, double whoosh?


"oh you don't need the address, just take the county 101 about 6 miles then take the sixth right after the train tracks."

"So the 6th right or a right at the sixth light?"

"The sixth light..."

"YOU FUCKED UP, I DON'T TRUST YOU, GIVE ME THE GOD DAMN ADDRESS YOU CAVEMAN"


I can confirm this comment is nothing but spam, am i correct?

The comment has also been flagged as racist and will now be downvoted.

Did you find this post was of help to you? Please upvote me so i can help this site.


The only accurate use of "bitches love _________ " I have ever heard.
.


I just laughed so hard I farted and dropped my taco on the floor.


Santorum may ban porn, but porn will never ban santorum!


Wait. We are taking soccer right? No dives?!

Edit: ah, the ol' make a stupid joke with typos before bed on your phone and wake up to downvotes. Classic. You guys are serious about your soccer. It's ok. I can handle the negative attention. I will get you back. One word.

Cumbox.

See ya!!


I also think saying that you are her 7 year old son would be hilarious.


Tbh you probably aren't much better


Really? He swore it's never happened before.


wow it took 4 hrs for us to start glorifying prostitutes pretty disappointing


Fuck. I got chills just reading that.


Meh, if they were any good they would be on youtube anyway


*amphetamine

Sounds like you've done "amfetamins" a few too many times...


So it's only bad to laugh at children who die by accident, gotcha.


This really is a serious issue. If EA, a major publisher, is pulling this, then we can expect to see the same behaviour from others soon enough. The best way to avoid that is indeed to get Apple's attention.


Hello, random subreddit trolling this thread!


>Somehow got me aroused

What pisses me off about the 'men can't get raped' crap that is thrown around is the whole 'oh but you were aroused'.

Maybe it's lack of sex education in countries, but stimulus is stimulus. If someone is trying to get a dick hard, chances are the dick will get hard.

I hope you're doing okay now though. That situation sounds terrifying.


Its a pitty that just only good micro isnt same as GM


Wait, there are *whole number* interest rates?! Like, ABOVE 1?


How the hell can anyone raised in the US work for the horrible Iranian government?


Ronald Reagan vs. Smeagol.


f2p is free to play... and it was a fucking joke


TIL grown adults can request to get a bed time story and someone out there is willing to do it without thinking they are fucking nuts.


Meltdown? Moi? Surely you jest? Not a second thought given to any of this from my end. I honestly don't give a chocolate jesus. Rage on...


I actually saw that last year on twitter. God, what spoiled brats.


If only that added to his actual street cred.


That's not an afro, that's a jewfro.


HAHA YOUR MOMS GONNA DIE OF CANCER LOLOL!


That is violent abuse, what about emotional abuse?  What about the fact that women do less damage than men when violent?  What about the fact that most men would rather die than admit to being beaten or raped?

>More women are abused than men.

Reported violent abuse.


I think you accidentally accidentally a few accidentally words.


I don't get why people on the Internet think puns are so funny. Especially when someone probably didn't even do it on purpose.


I'm still in middle school, and I have never spoken that phrase.


Typically, if people like normal Coke, they prefer Coke Zero over Diet Coke.

If you LIKE Diet Coke, then nothing in the world tastes better than Diet Coke.


it's a bit too late to back *peddle*


I treat obese people exactly like people who smoke, like when people visit my home I ask "If you are going to be fat, could you please do it outside?"

They don't like that at all.


Because no one with an IQ above 50 can take a southern accent seriously.  "Well butter ma bread, today 5 people were arrested on charges of murda, well don't that just beat all! Now ova to Buba Gum Joe with spowts, oh lawdy!"


Some people don't understand technology. And by that I mean that they literally don't understand the most basic principles of how stuff works; it's all as good as magic to them. It's basically a modern form of superstition.


Yeah could be almost as good as that Ronaldo bloke if he keeps it up.


Explain! Like, I'm five?


That's because Nolan's Bane was created to look like he had functional strength, not like some douche who spends most of his time in the gym working on glamor muscles.


Didn't want you to be left hanging. \o

Edit: Okay I've had a few people tell me that he lost that arm due to cancer. If that's real, I'm sorry. I honestly had good intent.


Argh! I am a Network Tech Engineer and this is my nightmare! Do you know how easy it is for an intruder to access your network just by reading the password from the physical network device itself?!

Come on sheeple! This is like a step back to the dark ages when routers had... *shudder*... default passwords.

Wake up morons.

edit: downvotes, REALLY?


Shitting yourself is not.


Especially since he'll be the only nigger in New York.

HOW HARD COULD IT BE?


Just like how hacking is done by typing on the keyboard as fast as humanly possible while code drops down the screen like The Matrix?


Not for me, I started talking at 8 months old and wouldn't shut the Fuck up. But my younger brother couldn't communicate in the dark and my older brother didn't speak till he was 2 and in preschool insisted he too was deaf


Yeah, reddit isn't biased at all...


I love how the crying kid is actually answering the questions.


Oh good, the white knight has arrived...


I work in an office that's pretty lax with the dress code and I actually love wearing ties as an accent piece but I can't do that and wear an untucked button-down and jeans without looking like that dude who still plays in a high-school ska band.


:*D OP's reaction in that thread made my day! Way to kill (or un-kill?) a post, good job!


>"It just makes him happy to do that shit so I just let him, even though its weird when he does it in the middle of the night while I'm sleeping and I wake up in the morning like whatdafuc? " .

What. The. Fuck.


-.- So you couldn't take your hand off your cock to read text with your eyes but somehow your hand could downvote? Makes no sense.


http://imgur.com/33r7w

www.shittywatercolour.com


well, did you see that guy's teeth? come on!


In the event that the bass should drop, oxygen masks will descend from the overhead area.


Because of the profanity. 'Wait for it' was for the mustache pulls.


Aurora Snow, Gangbang Girl #27.


A quote open to interpretation, kudos on that.

*Downvoted for lack of originality.*


F 100 duck sized horses
M Wilson
K 1 horse sized duck


No I got it, just these kids are talking shit without playing it.


Why the fuck did I open this thread


5/10 for the effort.

7/10 for the effort with rice.

Thank you for your suggestion.


This is why you'll never, ever see any actual New Yorkers there. It's really fucking stupid in the exact way you described. New years eve is much better spent at home with whomever you choose, lots of room to move around, bathrooms at easy access, and plenty of food and alcohol.


pro edit you earnt that first upvote


That, or just in case Felix died.


>fuck you

Well fuck you too!


It looks worse than it is. It's just pulverized ceiling tiles - get a broom, clear the hallway, install new ceiling tiles, vacuum, and done.


my cousin is a vet tech. She pulled it out personally.  This was def a dildo. They actually pulled a dildo out of this dog, no matter what you think of the X-ray.


This isn't pranking, this is grifting.


OK that is just lame, clinging on to wc3 style. You should know better. Unless you are a 10 year old child, get a life and move on. There is nothing wrong with the current attack animation, actually seems more realistic since i have never heard of throwing versions of one as an attack....


That's actually pretty awesome of her.

Of course, had you been stung again, you'd've been fucked...


Oh, thanks for saving my money. Those developers sell "cheats" in their in-game stores for real money, it is not acceptable for me.


To go along with this, have a question ready in case they ask you if you have any questions for them. Don't make it too obvious but it can be a good way to show you're actually interested and invested in the company by asking about something related to what you found in your research.


That's a pile.

Google what a mountain looks like and refrain from misusing the word mountain wrong, ever again.


And they're more violent. I'd take Westboro any day over an Islamic extremist.


Why did he give that crying potato his shirt?


He's Russian. He was probably out for a leisurely swim through the ice and happened to find the dog.


>t bag shirts...

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

But for the record that is how i read it the first time.


Funny stuff dude. The partner joke was awesome


Trick you how? This is absurd


There's still time. Just think about all of the lonely old men, lonely fat men, lonely young men, and lonely skinny men there are out there, in the dark, with their dicks out for *you.* Plus, the dick is so prevalent at that site that you can browse through, as if you're shopping, until you find one that suits your interests.


Everyone hates the other party's candidates. This is a terrible precedent. It's this kind of hate that has screwed up our political system so bad neither party will talk to each other.


You sound like what every redditor aspires to be


I don't care enough about this to actually debate it with you. Untwist the panties. It was just a comment that I meant to be a tad bit funny.

Edit: You people could use something more fulfilling to do.


I like how on reddit people ruin sweet moments.


>So much so that there is a subreddit devoted to attacking this particular criticism: http://www.reddit.com/r/splc/

That subreddit is literally run by white supremacists.


I'd love to see Chris Brown get his ass kicked by just about anything.


lot of people will remember popular books or TV shows from their childhood. Why don't you just go down the line asking people what they remember? It makes for awful conversation but at least you'll have good karma. http://tripotic.com


Just like insecure men can feel threatened by competent women in a traditional male environment, so can women under the opposite circumstances.


I bought it and it *also works perfectly*, with the added bonus of not being a dirty pirate.

Funny how that works.


That's cause you washed her scent off, so she has to remark you.


So say if there was a certain story you absolutely loved. Everything about it resonated with you: the characters, setting, message, etc. And an anime adaptation was made that perfectly captured the essence. It was of great quality and better represented and told the story than any live action hollywood movie and any book. You would hate this adaptation simply on the grounds that it is an anime?


Psch. He got hermione. I call that all win.


aw...did the little noob get pwned by me, or some other elite player, at black ops and is now butthurt about it?


Except for this person's problem is her parents refuse to help. That would make getting citizenship 100 times harder.


I would like to consider myself a strong, independent woman and agree with that. This is the one issue with him that I can not stomach.


How long have you waited to use that?

Edit: I fucking love that my highest rated comment is in a thread about masturbating into a toy shark. My mother must be so proud :')


Funny you say that, because I nitpick pretty much nothing. And I don't care about the differences between the show and the books (usually). But this just seemed so stupid.


Wanking with the family computer... I fear this sacred dance of fast cover-ups and clever history erasing will be a lost art for future generations of adolescents.


"We and ONLY we know how hard it can be"


What do you have against Mittens Romnington?


Mac running windows=Great


"Hey class, look at this painting by Hitler and tell me what you think is wrong with it."

"The perspective is a bit off on that window."

"**NOPE!**  It's wrong because Hitler killed 6 million Jews!"


Yep. I just have a lot of down time at work during this time of year. And moderation of these subs takes very little time.


Both are responsible for gassing lots of people.


Nope. No ban for you. Try harder for a ban.


Watching TV, while staying in shape.

Nice.


Yes, that was turning into a witch hunt which is something we don't allow.


Or when comcast is doing inappropriate things to me.


How does a grand tour make Bungie a great company and what does this have to do with him dying other than the timing?


I love the fact that there is a lawyer out there that gives legal advice under the alias goldendong. I secretly wish you were my lawyer.


Nobody believes it, it's just a way to show support you anti-social piece of shit.


Dear Diary,

Today I saw a guy winning life. Sometimes I wonder if this is worth it anymore.


Everything was spot on until:

>The human body, especially the joints, is not **designed** to carry that much weight

&#3232;\_&#3232;


Depends on your gender.


Hey at least you believe me now. Also, I am Indian. My ancestors were Christian before there was an America. India doesn't just belong to you or people like you, thankfully.


and even better for a Chinese woman.


I guess you never read the verse that also says religion is man made and inherently evil and goes against God's commands.......but yeah, as a believer, religion is just corrupt and totally evil.


id say a 1 year competitive play ban would be more appropriated


Good guy redditor, it's his "cakeday" and he hasn't made any posts begging for karma.


Definitely not how I expected the top thread to turn out.

10/10 Reddit, 10/10.


This is why I asked. What, then, constitutes trolling?


Do you really want to slip in the shower while trying? Do you want them to find you dead, wet, own dick in your mouth, in the shower? All because you couldnt wait until the floor wasnt slippery?


Is something really judgey if it's factual?  I live in an area where unemployment is at least two percentage points lower than my hometown.  Facts can't be biased.  I don't say that aloud or flaunt it in any way, but it doesn't change the fact that it has made factors better for me.


"The lady trying to pawn her car didn't make her payments on this haunted antique Fiat, so now we need to repossess* it."


I don't agree at all that sex is about pleasing your partner.  This may be one aspect of it, but it's mostly about reproduction, the desire to propagate your species, and a little bit about pleasing  yourself too.


well if you want to argue semantics, *fine*, you do have the right, it just means you are a shitty human being.


"I think we need more orphans beneath the waves" - Cat_Party, 2012


We've at least undone the damage for now, though.


Your diagnosis? Hot and Ready!


oooh

yes yes

so clear now


Your dad is very confusing.


ITS FUNNY though!

"Hey random internet people who I have never met check out this incredibly close personal friend of mine who died today! Upboats to the left!"

Oh Karma you so silly!

Karma doesn't seem to care if your pet is alive or dead...just upboats upboats and more upboats.

Karma karma karma karma karma karmelion.


You have made my day, lol [5]


Except his balls weren't steel enough to actually, you know, help these people out.


No, no, did you read the story? I don't have [Life](http://i.imgur.com/ZJqjr.jpg), I have Cinnamon Toast Crunch.


I hate these "old sayings"  I mean, wtf was the first man  that said "Fight fire with fire" thinking? That doesn't make any goddamn sense!

Stop down-voting me, what the shit! 100 down votes. FUCK!


What is this Allan joke? I missed it :(


I want to upvote you soo bad... but alas


DIDN'T YOU HEAR I SAW IT BEFORE IT WAS EVEN MADE


ur mom prepares me for tomorrow by lowering my BAC o burn


Or, back in 1886:

"... and there was a daguerreotype of none other than myself in repose!"


"Connect ALL the villages!" - FTFY


That's not true. I have a 2010 Macbook Pro 15 with an anti-glare matte HD screen and the innovative multitouch trackpad with patented MagSafe technology running the latest Mac OS 10.6.7 (codenamed: Snow Leopard) on a lightning fast SSD and I don't go around bragging about it.


Good lord this comment section is a fucking wasteland


Perhaps they don't want to admit they fucked up by giving that 15 year old the job in the first place.


>  He truly is a living legend.

This.


As a lifeguard, I can confirm this.


Redditors never miss a chance to make a creepy move.


It's never a pleasant situation.. guy pulled out completely, thrust back in with the same amount of force, missed, and went in another way...


We didn't agree apon all of that but thank you good sir. Hope you enjoy dj hero lol. To all my scammers gain some rep and rip off people. Great stuff oh and thanks for sending it to my druggies house! I'll upload pics later ;3


I can't imagine why a second grade teacher would expect any other answer to be honest.


STOP IT, GIVE ME THE DOWNVOTES, HE DOESN'T DESERVE THEM

DAE RON PAUL IS DOING IT RIGHT LOL


"No, no, not like *that* kind of 'changed'! I meant that I was naked at the time of the exorcism and decided to put on clothes afterwards. I'm pretty sure I still have demons inside of me though. Pass me the bread will you?"


You keep telling yourself that...


BROKEN JUICE IN AISLE 6


I'm not one of your students, don't tell me what I can and can't say. You came at me so I came at you back, it is what it is. But now you're talking down to me like a cold faggot. I'm not with that.


This isn't a thread for the best lyrics ever.


Spam t1 units, expect to win games against teched opponents. Terran logic.


Thats me... (i was really high)


tl;dr please. I'm high as shit right now. I upvoted you anyway.


>I have never been addicted to anything.

So says the guy with 39602 comment karma.

Yeah dude, whatever you say.


I would have went with
"yesterday."
"all my troubles seemed so far, but now it looks like they are here to stay - with your mom. ZING!"


I love doing this. I also like calling kids out on their rudeness. Nothing funnier than a gobsmacked kid thats just been called out for being a rude little asshat.


It's a traffic in fracture. She signs a citation and is free to leave. This is not a get out of the car detainment. She was actually using Her rights to the correct degree. Just because a cop is saying you are detained. Doesn't actually mean you are detained. Cops lie to get what they want.


This made me laugh harder than the dude jerking off on his own face.


yeah most white people are homosexuals we get it but that's no reason to single them out


wether i watched this voluntarily or not has nothing to do with...pretty much anything, really. I saw something shitty and I commented on it.


I lost my sisters, grandmother and stepmother. But I am reunited with the rest of my family.


Trolling because he was a 2k elo player in the 100's with triple snowball items. You don't have to do bad to troll.


Its refreshing to see a story in this thread where nobody is a complete asshole. :)


It must be super fun being so enslaved to an ideal vision of how everyone should act and speak that you dismiss truth if it is even slightly abrasive.


0-6: Adorable

7-80: Unnacceptable, yet effective

81+: Just straight-up effective


I'm amazed by your genius, you brilliant sir! Do you realize you're a genius?


>...run for long distances, fast

You'll make an excellent zombie.


Your reply proved my point perfectly. What woman would have sex with someone so childish? Go home to mummy and have a good cry.


I really hope you're a mod at /r/shittyaskscience


she is a fucking coward


You underestimate my power.


clearly the evidence is there so... i guess you're wrong, dumbass.

there's a tiny bit of air in there for them to "breathe". but it's obviously not enough. that's the whole point of the post, it's cruel, inhumane, and impractical. jesus.


I keep forgetting... 10 years ago isn't 2000... it's 2005.


Honestly, I don't see why it's so damn important. Though it annoys me too


Triple the karma, I'd say that's a smart phone.


Can't answer the question? Maybe magic the gathering subs are more your speed bud?


I'm not even going to dignify the comic with a response. The more this running joke continues, then more of... this... will continue. Then soon, this is going to become front page everyday.


This is a fantastic sentence to stumble across in the morning.


Meanwhile the top vid on /r/videos is of a Sikh boy being bullied by classmates gleefully calling him a terrorist.

This kind of entertainment is why Americans seem ignorant.


I do feel for you guys.

It's like being an older brother that's a great athlete, and everyone says how amazing you are, and you win all these awards...and then your younger brother grows up and eclipses you in every way possible and now you're forced to carry his gym bag to sporting events.


To be fair there is absolutely no reason for her to be scared.  From what she has said he has never even threatened violence let alone actually done it.

Edit: I love when we downvote simple logic as an emotional response.


Helmet for when people and police start throwing shit.  Not even joking here.


At what point does it stop being "his thing" and start becoming "Wow, he's kind of a dick"


What if he was... MATHturbating?


Is savage the cool word that kids are using nowadays?


> the Japans

what


"Hey I'm probably going to get downvoted hard for this, lol, but I'm like the only one I know who really likes [insanely popular thing]!!"

*Waits for upvotes*

Edit: well, that joke backfired.


To be fair, they aren't allowed to get mad at their own government.


Yes you do. Most Americans think they won the Vietnam war.


What in the fucking fuck? ಠ▃ಠ

I don't even know what to believe anymore after having read this comment.


Are you really showing sympathy for some stupid bitch who picks up her phone during a lecture?


*Can Adam and Jamie build a Velociraptor out of dildos?* Find out next on the Discovery channel...


Why does it bother you so much?  It's pronounced the same way in the American accent, and it is short for Patrick.

I'm American, I just live in this damned country.  If I let my blood boil whenever Irish people say Chicago or Billy Joel or Barack Obama or the Sopranos, I'd have to abandon my family and move back to my own damned country.


Sorry dude I would give you some money but I only have hundreds! Maybe if I bought a corvette first I could give you a small amount of that change!


Sorry, it's difficult telling sarcasm through text.  I assumed you were ignorant.


It was my first experience with a black mans pit hair.


You're a fucking dick


How do you stop selling orange juice at an Orange Julius.


....what is your point norseman?

edit: holy balls cakeday, i'm going to go masturbate now?


*He sneaks into your house at night and replaces your wallpaper with a low resolution version, find out more about this man and why he's on the FBI's most wanted at 10 PM.*


Bruce Willis doesn't have scars on his upper lip


I had one mom. She married her first wife. Then they divorced after a while and re married to other women. But all are in my life and all are my moms


Neither do I.

I'm not going to donate mainly because it's a really shitty idea and it's not going to get anywhere. I love it when people get their hopes up for something and spend so much effort and it turns out to fail in the end. Serves you right. That's exactly what's going to happen to OP.

What a waste of time, and a shitty concept. Downvoted.


Have you considered cunt punting your sister for the good of humanity?


Yeah, meaning they wouldn't score, right?


> Five of a kind beats a full house

Five of a kind gets you shot for cheating.


Did you even read the post :(


Yes, crazy senses are tingling.


RT is nothing like Fox News you ignorant American shit. You're jealous that your country is weak now because of rednecks like you and Bush you wasted a lot of money on the Iraq war. Get over it, China and Russia will be more powerful than you!


In a vagina you will not stick


The admins already ban people for doxxing other users. Isn't that authoritarian too?

If the admins see something unethical, they make judgment call to either leave it up on their servers or to remove it. What they did was decide that the illusion of free speech was more important than stopping pedophiles from trading child porn. That's fucked up, in my opinion.


Just go to a mirror.

Smile with your eyebrows down.

Look at your nose.

Now stop smiling and raise your eyebrows and squeeze your mouth down like you just got arrested after shooting a bunch of people.

Look at your nose.

Case closed.


you dropped out of college?...lol dumbass loser


I hate that smarmy little shit so damn much. No, Caillou, I don't care what you're bringing to school for Show and Tell.

(Spoiler alert: it was a fire truck and a toy T-rex.)


No...there needs to be a decent adjective in front of cunt for it to be "interchangeable". Pompous?... magisterial, magniloquent, narcissistic, orotund, ostentatious, overbearing, overblown, pontifical, presumptuous, pretentious, insolent, smug - something, wouldn't you say? I kind of like insolent cunt.


Wait till the DNA (National Dyslexics Association) hears about this.


Thanks for the insight into your pathetic life!


TWIST: OP is actually dead.
I'll show myself out...


Is this the first time you've seen a cliche joke being used on reddit?

I can guarantee you've done it as well so just get the fuck out


SEAHAWKS WINNING SUPERBOWL 50% CONFIRMED

Edit: OH MY FUCKING GOD. THE COIN 50% LIED.
SEAHAWKS WINNING DOWN TO 0%.


Peterson wants out. The Vikings are willing to move on from him. They don't seem to be getting many offers. Peterson's contract gives him leverage in trade negotiations. A refusal to restructure takes most teams out of consideration, limiting the Vikings options. Plus they could just be sick of him at this point.

Releasing him isn't a crazy notion.


That doesn't count because everything you see in the Matrix is a computer simulated world and thus you can explain almost every plot hole.


That right there ruined this post for me.  Good job on your weight loss, but I do NOT agree with surgery.


Aww. Everyone finds a way to fit together with someone. Your micropenis and tight wife make for a touching love story.

All joking aside, that's awesome that you were able to find her. Happiness to you both!


His comment wasn't even remotely witty.


Dude gave him 10 seconds. That's enough time for five high school orgasms.


I used to eat Eggo Wafflessss, but then I took an arrow in the knee!


Gravity applies to water, but not boats. Simple as that.


Dude. Did you not hear about what the Moslems did in Paris?

Edit: whoah downvotes for spelling. Muslims.


I hope he never falls into a lake or other body of water...


We all dislike rape and wish it didn't exist, but that fact is that even if the OP wasn't doing it, there would still be countless other.

And, yes, I did just equate botting with rape. Suck it.


upvote because the last sentence made me picture you with a Ron Burgandy mustache and an erection.


I like how you referenced the most entry level Physics book out there


so simple a ~~caveman~~ Republican primary candidate could do it


Thanks for the kind words. It means a lot to me. It really does. I was in a dark place for a while but now I'm back and have decided to just no even respond to the haters.

I do this for me.


> Spawn points **ARE** pussies

**FTFY**


nice musket dune coon


Would you then drive 500 more?


TIL Starlord was in Zero Dark Thirty, I credit you one upvote!


"You have my daughter's beard!"


Ull never even be close to looking like him u hatin ass chump


You don't like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me.


You mean I've been missing out on delicious silica gel all this time!?


    Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah BATMAN!

FTFY


it's not. but it's wtf, so yolo


very very very very weird


Well card says Enrage (+1/+1) and they got +1/+1 so I don't see the problem.


I didn't notice that... but I am NOT changing it.


we all know canada is not actually a country


Yep, the shoes were the weird part.


why cuz she's a woman? you know waht? im sick of the sexist shit on this website. today i got downvoted for saytn that im a girl gamer which is bullshit prolly just nerds anyway lmao


Well, that hobo does have excellent references. Sure, they're all from squirrels. But still, there's a lot of them.


Great question. Upvote.


"Scarybush Scarybush will you do the mandangle!"


There is no dead horse on Reddit. Lurk more newfag


This movie is truly timeless, no special effects that can go out of date, the subject matter will always be relevant, and the acting is perfect.


Abandon hope, all ye who enter.


i was actually thinking of a followup to Seven which is in the works... of course the contrast to the first 7 (being the dealy sins) i'd like to do the 7 virtues.... and do it all on modular synths.... which is a nice contrast to the piano only "sins"


Why does SRS need to be a jerk? Why can't it be a good place where we humiliate REAL racists rather than the guy making jokes at home?


This was posted about a month ago. He drowned before the piranhas ate him up.


EA defense force in full swing today. Upvotes mostly from EA marketing.


Fuck you and your accuracy.


That's really the reason why we continue to pirate music. It's because the music on the radio is so shit, and the only way to get good music is to pirate it.


Found the civ players.


That box is gay as shit. It's a retarded idea. U gamer faggots suck so fucking bad. I hope All of u queers eat shit.


SOMEBODY FORGOT TO PUT THE TAILGATE DOWN

ARRAARRG


I used to have this Spanish teacher that was from China and nobody would ever call her out on her blatant racism because she was an immigrant, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


But it's fun though, I do this for recreation. I loved the guy who called me a dirty neckbeard. Today was a bountiful harvest of butthurt.


She's a single girl with a small apartment, how many nightstands does she need?


lmao really?  so you didn't watch the 09 world series?  or are you just some bandwagon jumper from out of town?


I love circular logic because I love circular logic!


LOL!!! Came here to say this bro! xD lol wHat if she got popcOrn stuck in her pubes!!!!


I see you've played knifey-spooney before!


Good thing making people late doesn't kill or meaningfully harm them. Post game revelry yesterday did more to disrupt traffic than these 50 people.


Clayface?

No, no! Killer Croc!


This is honestly a perfect comment chain


.....................

i think i'm gonna have an aneurysm if I keep on reading this fucking thread


wow... how delightfully pretentious. Downmodded for being a dick. ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm sorry to hear that. I asked a fellow priest the exact same thing. He said to have the funeral because we don't know what their mindset was like when they died.

A priest might say something hurtful because he's an idiot.


it will happen right before we freeze canadian imports and your country goes bankrupt overnight.


The old discreet 3-way.


Dammit, that's exactly what I was going to post


Or does it make TOO much sense?


Ok well I didnt know that wasnt her dog, as both her dogs look exactly the same as the one in the photo. ALSO, I actually have a GF. I submitted a picture of her and I to r/beards a while ago. You can check it out in my submitted if you like.


"I don't know who even let you on stage."

Great thing for a judge to say. What a douche.


size of you're penis 0.00000000001 inches xD


I've seen both of them. I have two copies of the new one in my desk, sent from Louis' producer.

I think he did a good job. You get a pretty accurate idea of who they are, especially my old man.


How exactly is wanting to have sex, during a romantic time, with my husband entitled?


It's a little over 288 Kelvin.


Same thing as I said to bjarkebjarke: if you're going to dismiss shit for the sake of dismissing shit, why don't you just not pick a side at all?


This man needs a medal.

What would the community think if we gave flair to people who gave us updates?

*let me add that this isn't even for certain or anything, I just want to see what the community thinks before I suggest this to the other mods.

Maybe they could reset each month.

**Maybe a gold star


Good, those diving conspiracy videos were annoying as shit

*Press downvote button to praise Datsyuk*


They kill you if you're drunk?!

edit: Thanks for the gold!


No. I do not know any parent who would resort to violence before being fucking civil about things.


It IS legal, it is NOT wise.


I'm not sure if that was inpuntional though.


Maybe.  I'm always too busy.  I love those people.  And Amy is the best.


It's like you all are speaking another language....

I have no idea what has happened in this reply and those responding to it.

*Le Sigh*  Oh, to be this level of nerd.


"So I'm balls-deep in this guy's asshole, and I'm just **POUNDING AWAY**. Then I look down, and wouldn't you know it? The fucking faggot has a hard-on!"


Gay (of the female variety) here. If my girlfriend said something like this to me, I'd look at her and say "faaaaaaaarrrrt".


I saw a New Mexico license plate on the road the other day. (I live in Virginia, so they're not too common around here.) It actually said, "New Mexico, USA." I figure they have to put the "USA" on it because otherwise morons like this guy would think they're from a different country.


**I JUST SENT $100 TO SARAH PALIN IN HIS HONOR.  SHES GOT A LITTLE RETARD TOO.**


I'm telling you, these huge Vagina ladies are getting away with murder


Men aren't allowed to kill babies like women are though.


"If you're good at something, never do it for free." - The Joker


Actually, this is very inspiring. I soon intend to form an anti-marijuana group to shut down all those marijuana advocacy sites, in particular /r/trees on this site. I believe I will have no problem getting help from concerned parents groups and cooperative interest from the legal authorities.

edit: this is NOT sarcasm.


"Yes, I'll have a Jack and Coke please." *brings out Jack and Coke* "WTF WHY IS THERE ALCOHOL IN HERE?"


I don't remember if that was from an ask Reddit or not, but definitely the best response in that thread. My mom never treat me that well.


You can swim under Islands?


Or not having sex does that too lol


I thought YOLO was just a random saying that came up....I had no idea that there's a song that started it all.


I don't think you know what a right it.


My only thought to this logic would be a particular sale going on.  "Pepperoni Pizza $6.99 limited time!"  (Cheese pizza still 7.99 +$1.50 topings)


Also, fuck you for suggesting people pirate it, you fucking piece of shit.


Indeed, congratulations OP, you showed your stupidity.

And if you REALLY do this "every time you go to a coffee shop" (which I very much doubt) you're just being a total asshole to the person behind the counter who didn't decide what to name their products.


this was much better than that shitty movie


In *YOUR* endo, amiright?


downoted to oblivion douchebag!


No I had to manually make the fart noises.... And I did.


Another divorced/single mother with kids. Fucking great. More trash in this shithole of a world.


I get all awkward when I see two fat people kissing. I don't know why, but it makes me sick to my stomach.


thats because you haven't met me.


Nope; [Fudge Cheese](http://www.johnsonssausage.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Fudge_Cheese.jpg) has been a thing in Wisconsin for as long as I can remember.


Man is genetically wired to commit war.  It's why we males are larger than our females.  Why we have more muscle.

War is exciting as fuck and there are many who like the feeling.  Teddy Roosevelt was one such person, but there are many throughout history.


It's not just white women, but agreed.


If only modern America agreed.

[When political jokes backfire.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_states_and_blue_states)


Someone already said God in this thread


and sometimes in life you have to think about how fucking gay you sound before you hit "save"


That's how you know it was an honest mistake.


why would you feel sorry for him?  this is the perfect example of a guy not paying attention to shit going on around him,  and getting kicked in the dick by karma.


At first it's heaven. Then all you get to do for eternity is watch the same set of girls play volleyball. At some point, you reflect on the fact that you've grown bored of boobs.
Now it's hell.


Down vote all you want; it's real. How many OP's actually respond to things that didn't happen? If I ever get it in, I'll make sure to post to GW for you of me in her butthole.


Conclusion: "More males lied about being medicals students and were also wrong more often or maybe not because this was a poorly designed study which confirms the study's legitimacy as it was written by male medical student, so its wrong..but right."


Yeah, you are the one woman on the planet that does not have a biological instinct to want children


>I instinctively tried to tase it

yes, the tazing instinct has been ingrained into man since the days when he had to defend himself from the Muggeropterix and Analrapeasaurus


wow, really? i'm not defending this workplace, but do you need evidence that Christians have been persecuted? for pete's sake, google the Great Fire of Rome


I've noticed that most the time when someone is actively homophobic, as in talks about it unprompted, they are self hating closet cases. The ones who are more passive are just run of the mill bigots.


Get over yourself douche, this is the Internet.


I'm convinced that the bear used to belong to his now-dead son and this is his way of spending more time with the son that he'll never have again.

The beer is to celebrate what would've been his 21st birthday.


you try waaaaay too hard


I don't think it works like that anymore.


We do see this. We just choose to ignore it. I support equal rights but I don't support feminism at all.


She should have swallowed.


If you thought baby mario was bad enough before...try playing Yoshi's Island with sounds like this!


It's a . . . umm . . . *dick in a box?*


I gave you an upvote. Fuck you that's right.


The regular redditors are the people who asked questions like, "Would you rather fight a horse sized duck, or 100 duck sized horses?"


Downvote this like I did. Keep half life 2 on top.


Philosopher if I ever heard one.


Tell me something I don't already know... There are many trans men there who agree


I pictured a table with kids sitting around it and packaging your weed into dimes. Jesus.


That's what she said!!! I couldn't help myself xP


Black guy has some type of sneakers that have highlighter green on it yet he has no green on his shirt what so ever. Swag on -100. Now the white guy has the new titanium steel band timex 9000 watch, new Rayban shades, an empty beer glass, and what looks to be loafers on his feet. Swag on a hunnit. White guy wins.

Source: a sexy black man


No shit Sherlock.
EDIT: My irony detector was turned off, sorry. Crazy how huge the sub now is.


'is it in yet? Bitch! I'm done!'


Nobody else is responsible for the welfare of your sprog.  The individual is sovereign, and only he can bear responsibility for his own life, and the consequences of his own decisions.

The government can't take this right away from him, because it cannot suffer or die in his place.  He cannot give that responsibility away.


I'm blonde..what can I say.


To be fair, newborn babies are hideous.


I used to know what that word was, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Oh hey it's you. The guy who once scared me by posting a picture of a spider. You said it was a rabbit. It wasn't.


MY DADDYY SAYD DAT DA OP IS A LYER CAWSE DA WEDDITORS NEVER HAD GIRLFWEND BEFORE GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


People like that is how AIDS got started.


That has nothing to do with it stupid Rekku Prometheus!!!!


really? I can't even tell I'm wearing one when I use LifeStyle...

...Then again, my girlfriend is a sheep.


I don't expect you to believe I predicted anything since all I did was draw a disturbing doodle when I was 12. What is your point?


Are... You two fucking right now?


A conservative christian?

Are you fucking retarded? Because you'd have to be to be one of those ^


Just because he's young doesn't mean Joseph Gordon-Levitt isn't talented.


I used to believe things were real, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


that was probably not the best week for your dad either.


Screw that. I'm not devaluing the cool ass tone set I have. The whole point is I can pick it out of a noisy room because it's both distinct and unique.

Truth is, the pack isn't hard to find if you spend 5 minutes. I'm just not lending a hand to it though.

Eh. This reread harsher than I intend. I kid mostly. But I'm still not offering up links ;D


If you want everyone to come at your yard, you'd better have some milkshakes!


Came here to say that.


Welp, looks like you guys finally figured it out.


Eh i dont want upvotes anyways. I REALLY FUCKING HOPE I DONT GET THEM.


Solid novelty concept. 6/10.


I used to win at life, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Could be. Or he could be like me, and likes to take a dump last thing before bed (helps me sleep better).

But if he's a 14-year-old boy, I'd bet on the masturbation. Basically, any time he's alone.


And liked it. /r/thread.


Wait, who brings a baby to a Batman movie?


SRD: the Laurelai watch brigade. Lots of people care (for some reason).


I'm fine, thanks for asking. My mom is the one with problems, they don't always have to be mine.


Which is odd considering most Chelsea fans used to be Fulham fans.


He was out late and didn't let me know. That's not how we do things. how else am I supposed to react?


Not if he was talking about live cats.


###**GO BACK TO 4CHAN**###


My brother's friend from California (a dedicated redditor) posted a link to his wall with the simple question, "Hey is this your brother?" ... And it was.


If it's a she... Do you think she'd be humping?

I'm thinking it's a male dog... But that's just a hunch...

Edit: As said it was a hunch. I've only had male dogs hump my legs. Thanks for specifying this to me on several occasions.


Once people love you enough, you can't do anything wrong in their eyes anymore... just look at the shit people like Justin Bieber and Chris Brown get away with.


Yes. But I think you missed what I was trying to say. Why would white people need a white lives matter event? Are white people being killed and oppressed by a military police force in their towns? No.


OH I SEE you wnat sexist joke, well allow me.  What is the difference of women and men?  The men are better.  Now you have a joke and we can be friends


critics say the movie is "**so brave**", "**the bravest thing they've ever seen**", and "**literally about KE$HA banging Ron Paul to a Radiohead soundtrack**"


doesn't matter; had sex


You can get refused a *checking account*??

Damn I'm glad I'm not poor in the US.


> Feminists don't hate men.

Yes, they [do](http://i.imgur.com/LrDITRR.png).


I was very resistant to wiping my own ass until I got a friend.  One day we were in the bathroom together (we used to cross streams all the time -- don't judge me) and he suddenly plops on the toilet and noisily shits, wipes himself and pulls up his pants.  I never called for mom to wipe my ass after that, although there were some shitty drawers involved for a time as I mastered the technique.


Yeah but the main point kind of is that the only reason he goes to reddit is to get more popular.


It's been nearly 5 years since Portal came out. That is how long it took for that phrase to receive a proper application.


Well guess again I took this picture, not fake


Oh... its says *cult*


if you don't have anything to contribute then why comment?


"I am a car! Pedestrians have to respect me"

"I am a pedestrian! Cars have to watch out for me"


and at the beginning of the post i clearly put REPOST. soooo boohoo


The hangar is one of the coolest videogame levels on the planet.


In Bosnia. And that was totally other war. Thanks for showing your knowledge.


Nice gesture, but you could have helped her carry it in as well!


also that white-knighting big guy probably went home to a bag of twinkies.


Did it work? I mean, just for that one second when she flips shit? If so, success.


It's not even close to a straight upgrade pre nerf you fucking moron.


I prefer "birthday nazi"


One of my favourite /r/BritishProblems :

"I bumped into someone in the supermarket. They said sorry, I said sorry. In the confusion, a nearby old lady said sorry."


What a bitch. Seriously. She vomited on your dick and then had the audacity to make you comfort her because she's a dumbass. Amazing.


I wonder why Toby went to Costa Rica :)


Fallout reference have an up vote


I swear you guys are god damned wizards.


Not sure if over head.


"I haven't been ripped in half like that since grade school"


telling someone they need upvotes?!? How have you not been downvoted to oblivion yet?!?! Also, hurr durr heres an upvote for you hurr durr

Edit: Oh I love this, trolling Reddit is just too much fun XD ALL ABOARD THE DOWNVOTE TRAIN CHOO CHOOOOO


His/her flair was released today.
Edit:  **pops**  I have so many people to thank... uh well first off thank you friendly stranger! my mom, my dad, my pet cat, and uh oooo the academy. *music plays*  Um oh yeah ...


I laughed too hard at this.


> try unsubscribing to r/atheism

I did this and it vastly improved my Reddit experience.  And I'm an *atheist.*


Why is it any of your business?

And why wouldn't I?


As a Nigerian, I urge you to please help our prince with his inheritance.

*edit* and now my TWO highest-rated posts are shitty jokes about foreign people. come on.


When I read the first comment I was like well this is going to be an interesting reddit thread but then I read the second and third and I saw sticks and bundles and lame attempts at being relevant to the first comment to get karma.


this is a person who uses their computer to play 1467 games of solitaire. I'd expect nothing more.


Homestory Cup would be taking a pretty Dumb Risk if they were to hire Destiny.


Only if they're paying for 'all you can eat' lobster.  Anything less is inconsiderate.


Lol fuck some people are sensitive.


*the best ELI5 answer


>Seriously. It's just cum.

so, you into gokkun?


It goes hand in glove with the saying, "If you're in a fair fight, your mission planning sucks."  Or "If you're in a fair fight your tactics suck."


thanks for the "/s" man ! We're so stupid that we thought you were serious for a moment xdd

make sure to all keep using this tag unless you want dem downvotes !

le good ol' reddit sarcasm !


i hope he made you do press ups, as its down to scattering not refracting.

in our country our army obeys the law of electrodynamics sir.


Ah, I apologize, I did not know, it's hard to keep up with every sub. feel free to remove my post.


no offense, but i wouldn't want someone who had warts on their hands to touch me either.


That's stupid. You can't proofread any better after sending than before.


The noblest thing I've ever seen.


so i guess that means i'm not allowed to share anywhere else? ?


For a second there I thought he was going to go in a room and try it out privately.


Wonder if you were a warriors fan 6 years ago knowing bay area sports fans probably not


Is it me or does everyone else remember being 3 and 4 but me?


Like I said this is what's messed up


Oh man this one gave me the shudders


For real? You've never been a hypocrite? You're above it. You're better than. You're a paragon of human honesty and follow-through.

Give me a fucking break.

Edit: Thank you, downvoters. You've confirmed my beliefs about your average redditor.


Firefighter here, confirming that water is, indeed, the best thing to use to put out (Class A) fire(s).

Edit:  Yes, smartalecks, unless it's an oil/grease fire.  Then you should use a class K fire extinguisher or baking soda.  Do not use flour or water.  If it's electrical, use a dry chem or CO2 extinguisher.

**Edit**:  Also, kids, don't forget to call 911.


She has a nice ass too.


Go for the chandelier. It's priceless.


i used to make love but then i took an arrow to the knee


Heyo!

No but seriously, fuck the Cowboys.


Nothing worse than 13 year old kids who love anime pillows and won't stop talking about it.  Just get out of your moms house.


your father should have told her husband that god made his wife orgasm better than he ever could


As a writer's assistant, you should learn how to spell and do grammar.


What kind of homer analyst voted for Bobby Wagner? Jesus Christ, that's the definition of bias.


im 2k. 1v1 me. just as a little experiment :)


He blew up that poor homeless man.


This is my I give a fuck face.


"let's just sit here and jack off together, but not touch eachother's weiners cause that would be gay, bro".


Hasn't anyone told you that you can't use double negatives?


Glad I got my swastika on my forehead instead.


Every time I see Zeus, i think Dr. Zaius. And every time I think Dr. Zaius, I think "oh oh oh rock me Dr. Zaius."

So basically, what i'm saying is, fuck off


You mean Tracy Morgan?


starting a thread just to talk shit about mods from another subreddit? childish. your defense of it? totally playing into the perception of [/r/ainbow](/r/ainbow) as a "safe space" for cissexism.


Like your own personal rave/seizure


"Hallo, wie geht's dir heute"

"This here is Amurika, take ur Nazi Language home! AMURIKA!!!"

Classic Americans.


"GOT THOSE REPORTS READY BOB? NO? IT'S COOL, HAND EM OVER WHEN I GET BACK FROM THE BATHROOM AGAIN."


This one of my best lulz threads in a long time. Thanks to everyone who participated!


And you think telecom companies don't already do this?


What the fuck do you even care if we all hate Kanye? Do we need a reason to hate on a stupid fucking public figure? Fuck that guy. Fuck you.


I think a season of Honey boo Boo will do the trick.


Colbert & Stewart are just as biased if not moreso than Fox News, and this whole circle jerk "lets raise money for something that will never become anything" garbage pretty much proves it.

Reddit community really needs to back off.


But ignorance and sass about their ignorance is the combination that blows my mind. Or sass about their inability to listen to a simple question, but same result on my part


Drive in **le** right line


Well shit, that's basically a description of me. He's basically summarised my way of thinking and gave me the biggest and most concise reason to stop.


Was he wrong though? It was tactless, yes, and he might not have gotten the exact percentage right, but there are definitely blocks of voters who will keep voting Democrats for continued handouts.


Aw man, and here i thought i had an original username...


You mean like logging into someone's personal computer account? That qualifies as identity theft in my eyes.


God I **FUCKING** hate mothers of three.


You have been banned from /r/Pyongyang


Fapper here, can you imagine the grip!


hHHAHAHAHA. go kill yourself asshole


TIL Canada has eliminated the penny


I'd be pretty mad if I was **le** one on **le** toilet :P


Wait, you're young enough that you got a USED copy of that soundtrack when you were 12?  Get off my lawn!


Kali muscle can't even wipe his own ass, I don't know why people would listen to his advice. Except for the upping carbs.


I can confirm that OP was not lying about anything in the title or original post of his AMA.

**EDIT**: I chose my words very carefully on this comment. I am verifying only the original post of this thread. I can confirm that OP worked at an oil refinery. I am not putting my verification on anything else in this thread.


Stupid person is stupid.


In the books to avoid paradoxes no matter what you go back in time to do, things will turn out the way that you first experienced them no matter what you appear to have changed.


I was confused for a moment, then I read your name...bravo


The cop who shot her says, "Well, I'm sorry, you startled me.'"

They were looking for a man with a ski mask on around the neighborhood but they somehow figured he left the area. The police officer is startled by the woman in her backyard and shoots her.

If your job gives you the license to carry a firearm, I don't want you to shoot me if you are startled; just saying.


You have a reasonable doubt that Casey didn't do it.

Reasonable doubt implies that there is a separate, reasonable explanation for how Caylee died other than at the hands of Casey.

Please provide such other explanation.


George, I just wanted to pet the rabbit.


I believe you mean Dwight.


That little lotion genie spent months trapped inside that bottle, just waiting for his turn to bring refreshing moisture to dry, cracked hands only to realize the path chosen for his life will be one that brings great dishonor to his family.


Sir, I keep seeing you around... talking about things fairly unrelated to your line of work.

Can I help you to your car? Or would you like to keep wandering around, muttering? In other words:

*Kid didn't know when to quit. Some might tell you that shows courage.*

*Others, well, they know the real score.*


I am so glad this didn't end with him pulling out his dick.  I was convinced it would happen.


who actually gives a fuck


You get a ticket from the police!


I found it exciting leveled up a few now im just reading all these lovely comments <3


Sadly, the gunman, as a fellow bro, would know something was horribly wrong and shoot you.


If the only good show that you had when u were young was The Muppeta or Sesame Street... You had a terrible ans boring as fuck childhood .. This thing is

1. Not funny
2. Badly draw
3. Boring
4. This is not Dora or something colorful like this.

Pretty sure everyone fron the 90's will think the same so yeah, upvote if u guys agrees !!! I take the bet.

**EDIT : FUCK OFF DOWNVOTWTES ;)**


I would be the king!   And I would kill everybody else except my family.


Did you forget to switch accounts?


They prefer the term "Delicious-Americans."


How the hell do you belong in r/wtf?

Edit: I'll proudly take my downboats....it's what Tebow would want.


"I'm not paying you guys to watch TV, now get in the damn shower!"


he was 13, not that they had 13 strap-ons.


That's because THERE ARE NO FAT PEOPLE!

Well I saw one, arguably two, but still, today the malls of America look more like organized, slow-motion stampedes.


good enough timing to 360 no scope ur mom fgt


So what you are saying is you got [graped in the mouth?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZoiJM1vlfc)


calm down bro, your butthurt is showing


Slicks BALL hair back.


I really don't consider unnecessary wordiness to be the same as eloquence.


fk off idiot who said anyone felt bad u rtard


Ha! Totally made me spit my mouthful of sperm over my kids.


"better protect this new player from sharks by sharking him myself"


Fall Out Boy? Fall Out Boy.


And actually accomplished... what?
Eve had a purpose and had a job that accomplished something. Wall-E, in an adorable way, was fodder.
That's how (actually accomplished) Mac users look at us. "Aww hes playing his wideo wame. How cuuuute."

See, the analogy works!


did you guys ever make it to where Ray Brower was hit by the train?


It will probably end up there anyway. I wouldn't be surprised if the 9gag spiders have picked this up yet.


Especially when she writes them to the meter of the *Pokemon* theme, like this one.


However many upvotes you get for that comment, multiply that 3.14 to get the number. Because pie, everyone fucking loves pie.


THEY CAN SMELL THE MENSTRUATION.


So, you've never been a customer then? If you have further questions, please post them to /r/nostupidquestions, I have no time for yours.


While drinking a cocaine fueled coca-cola.


Quiet, crazy efficient, *and* self-cleaning?>

Sounds like YOUR MOM!1


Googling Male lingerie was a mistake.


Do I look like I give a fuck about the OP's gay fucking comment about Mel Gibson?

I doubt anyone on earth is dumb enough to not know what the jewish star, star of david, shield of david is.  Of course people on reddit are dumb enough to not realize that JEWS aren't the ONLY PEOPLE using TWO FUCKING TRIANGLES LAID OVER EACH OTHER!


Well you see, eventually the house becomes so saturated with them that you can always find one when you need one.


sorry, but the 360 can't handles these phat PC oriented graphics......


ITS FUNNY BECAUSE JESUS ISNT WHITE


Do you actually pee in those? Gawd you nerds are fucking disgusting &#3232;\_&#3232;


To me it's a sharp.

Edit: Calm your tits, people. I know the difference between an octothorpe and a sharp. It was a joke.


So the harassment of women is the reason he is your hero, not just the general tomfoolery?


Oh yeah, his arrogance was so great, people called it a reality distortion field.

Newsflash: when people start referring to your goddamn EGO in sci-fi terms, you should get your head checked. :)


Well, no offense Mr. Stemkoski, but given your past history, I'll believe it when I see it.

Currently I have as much hope about seeing your show back than I have seeing an SotG episode that actually talk about Stacraft (the game, not the scene)


You don't have to like or love your parents...

EDIT: well, had a long night at the office, and my dad's wife brought in dinner (I work with my dad and brother). I noticed that my inbox was out of control, and read this comment because of it. It was slightly awkward out of context, just out loud reading "you don't have to love your parents" to your dad (who is in most regards awesome)


oh shit.  my bad.

I thought r/atheism was well known as being the only subreddit that circlejerks, ever.

edit-  Jesus.  Typical christian downvote squad

edit-  seriously?  why can't you just respect other's beliefs?  Such hate and arrogance.


>sometimes it can be hard work

Well...


Fame? We were basically making fun of him on a global scale.

Probably sent him into a depression which certainly didn't help his lifespan.


And then reforms exactly how it was every winter no matter what the climate change was.


she should tell him yes she would love to after all the divorce is finalized. then once its finalized report him to board that certifies him as a mediator and don't return his calls. what a dirt bag.


If I went to jail following that series of events...totally worth it.


Haha, I guess I mean more as a representation that they are doing alright in life, that things aren't too hard for them--at least externally.


Me too, but I don't know.


GW2 is great, and definitely worth your money. However, they have gone incredibly pay to win lately with their currency system, which blows. I had so much fun playing Wildsfar for the first 3 months, then one day I just stopped playing and haven't gone back.


a,b,c,d,e,f,g?,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p?,q?,r, s, t, u, v, w, x?, y, z.

Space works, but there are some questions.  G, P, Q, X.  Due to the fact that they're all spread out across the keyboard, I can't determine which is broken.  Is it a number, perhaps?  Or were you singing and broke key when you laughed?  I'm too drunk.


Reading the comments here I guess I shouldn't really be surprised that New Yorkers have a reputation across the country as being crass, loud, scuzzy, creepy and just plain weird.


Dragonheart65, get it together man. Don't be a McAsshole


Man, being against vaccinations means you're "bat-shit crazy" now? I never knew that believing something that someone else doesn't believe makes you "bat-shit crazy"! This isn't Nazi Germany, if someone wants to believe something, let them believe it, fuck off.


"Heh that one was pretty funny"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHNNY!! RULE 3!!"


Wrong.  If the opportunity were to arise he would totally bang you.  You have friend zoned him though.


If I'm right, people usually didn't smile because it took so long to take the photo.


Tradition trumps petty desires.


I don't think lady luck left you. More like she went to get popcorn and came back to see the guy pointing a gun at you and says "Shit, shit, shit. I leave for 2 MINUTES"


###### can i get downvotes too?


EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS ENGLISH, JUST SPEAK SLOOOWLY AND VERY LOUD. YALL.


AHAHAHAH! Someone who actually believes there's still a difference between democrats and republicans!


My french teacher did this. He needed blank paper for us to draw on, so of course he copied blank paper to get blank paper. He couldn't even copy it right, it was basically all black. Facepalm of the century.


Yeah, all it does is fill the words in for you. Would be cool though if you could just say "send text" or something like that for it to send out.


That last one about the disclaimer was hilarious.


> REDDIT, I MADE A GAY JOKE! CROWN ME YOUR KING!

I forget, when did we become Facebook, again?


> **we were far from being snob**

Now that you know the secret to winning over the Americans, go, run to your homeland and spread the word!


Pregnancy = The ultimate pussy pass.


I like this. I used to go to house parties and bust in to bedrooms and yell "WHO FUCKIN!!" I caught a lot of people like this.


Won 6 games in a row, so I doubt it.


A simple no would have been just fine...


LmAo WhY DoEs EvEryOnE OvErrAtEs Half-LiiiiiiiiiFe 3 ?!?!?!?!

oHhh iiiiiiiii'vE FoUnD ThE AnSwEr !! YoU'rE HorNy OvEr ThAt NiiiiiiiiiGgEr GiiiiiiiiRl AlyX VaNcE AnD WaNt ThE Q-mAn tO nAiiiiiiiiiL YoU BeCauSe YoU'rE FaGgOooOTs !!!

HaAhaHAhaHAHahha #TrUth !!!!!!!!!


> Kindom Rush Frontiers.

SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS:  OP's laptop

Sorry OP


First off, I'm a girl and wtf does any of this (besides the "teen mom in the title" comment) have to do with the joke??
I think reddit is getting a little too picky. If I hadn't sold my goddamn soul to that little alien....


I thought she said "I'm reading, Fuck Face!"


I went to the airport like this: http://i.imgur.com/1HlCK.jpg

Have fun feeling me up, TSA


But only 1 in 7 is Grumpy


136+ people did this and failed


(Spongebob and Patrick are standing around a campfire.)
Patrick: "Hey SpongeBob? How do we have a campfire underwater?"
(Fire goes out.)


Careful its a virus that reports your browsing habits to an unknown web domain.


At 15 all you would have done is disappoint two women instead of your usual one.


Thank you for your opinion.


How do you know if somebody is an engineer?

They'll tell you.


> and **were** generally crazy.

FTFY.  Watch the subject-verb agreement dude.  Compare "You was" vs "You were."


Makes me incredibly angry.


Presence of obvious cameras limits illegal shenanigans that can take place.


Before you downvote, this is the exact next line in the episode, followed by JD saying "Yes I am," in a rather proud manner.

EDIT: Welp, this is my most upvoted comment of all time, by a wide margin. I guess it pays to be Good Guy Greg.


Ok, you fundamentally misrepresented the concept that you were trying to convey.  Please read a book?  I don't know what you want from me


We paid for a wall. We didn't pay for the door.....


How does this shit get upvoted. I am but one downvote. What the fuck is this community. Next thing you know we're raising money for some disabled fuck.


So what you're saying is you knew Dahmer before he was mainstream.


Gayest thing i have ever read.


We were doing country reports in 3rd grade. I wanted to do Australia. The teacher said Australia was a continent, not a country.
To this day, I still hope she was just some kind of Neo-British-Imperialist and just couldn't let it go that Britain had lost its empire.


the only one "raging" is you tho


I think they prefer "children of the forest." Show some respect, man...


Username*.. Prepares downvotes


Official scuba diving business. What a job.


Hope you're not suggesting I'm a dude.....but either way, if I said that about a baby, I would probably start laughing immediately after.


You should rethink your life choices.


The Chaser is a pathetic show with pathetic people making pathetic points about pathetic politicians.

So your argument is invalid. EDIT: Downvote all you want, you cant downvote the truth. (thanks to you 10 upvoters :) And really? THIS many idiots out there like The Chaser? I feel bad for my country.


Never in a million years would I enjoy that smell from someone else.  Your own ball musk. Mmmmm.


I'd say I don't really give a shit what you think, and a shove isn't a punch.


Really? Good, it confused the hell out of me for years.


I was referring to them obviously, "you seem confused."


I watched until I knew her knees started collapsing backward. Then I said: "dear god, no." and then backed out also


SRD is exactly like SRS - a really good idea that is now very far removed from what it was originally meant to be.


Then he got an idea!

An awful idea!

The Phatboi got an awful, sexy idea!

"I know just what to do!" Phatboi took off his socks,

And he made a quick keith-suit, white sunglasses and faux-hawk.

And he chuckled, and grinned, "What a great douchy trick!

"With these glasses and this hair, I'll look just like that prick!"


I like this part best:

>Professor Triggs refused to comment on the push to remove her when contacted by Fairfax Media on Friday.

Does anyone else believe that Triggs is the one who leaked the story to Fairfax? She's clearly playing politics. All bets are off. She's got to resign!


No problem here, his poop will just come out frozen for some time. It's a cool move to do in summer.


Well, I'm not the tidiest but there's a difference between unintentionally being messy and not getting a chance to tidy; and intentionally throwing old dirty food into someone's bed

So we think that because someone has been inconsiderate, it's ok to actively and consciously do something intentionally unpleasant? You guys are slime.


Ironically critics would complain that the movie was unrealistic.


yes, I know people like him.
There is scientific reasons for why our brain goes screwy when we become wealthy. The more we have the more we want.


I'll upvote anything that's fetch. And that is so fetch.


WOW!

Japanese stuff! on streetwear!! what next? Gold and black together?!?


MDMA is a perfectly good substitute


Couldn't you predict very early how this was going to end?


You're not actually hilarious, you just want to get into your pants, so you laugh at your jokes.


Check out this le mineral


That sounds pretty slutty even with only a 40% success rate.


Yeah, Apex should have read the future and saw the parking garage collapse and unreported damages from the hotel..

Shut the fuck up.


They told me that they were killed either because they tried to escape or because they were being held in a house that the militia thought was being raided. One of my regrets is not pushing harder for the exact circumstances of each one, but at the time I remember thinking "that they are dead and there is nothing I can do to change that, I just need to concentrate on myself now"


Yeah definitely nothing to do with explaining one's absence from their normal social calendar. You people on reddit are so fucking stupid.


Until you accidentally marry a pedophile unbeknownst to you.

*i'mgoingtohellforthis.jpg*


Censorship deals with communicative materials, which steak is not.


You're a great story teller and these stories are a symphony to me. Thanks for taking the time to write them.


>Half way through did I only realize that the pictures were of a game

This is /r/gaming. The fuck were you expecting?


"Those poor bastards," he said. "They've got us right where we want them. We can fire in any direction now!"


Yes, we have caught them before.


*fap fap fap fap fap fap fap cough*


Hey, nothing better than some obvious trolling to let off the steam. I work in the subtle and metatrolling genres as well, give me a call if you're short of a troll some day. \**hands business card*\*


The countdown timer is now at 84.


No need for the harsh language... I was just sharing my story.

It really wasnt that big of a deal. That was a long time ago


I seriously doubt he beat him with his penis.


Actually you're wrong! Sinusoidal steady state is a special case in which the input voltage consists of a pure sinusoid (with no exponential decay)


Enjoy the gold, friend. I very much appreciate your additions and corrections to my dumb little list of bullet points. Cheers.

Your points about the mujaheddin--excellent!


yes but no...it made a pop noise...my other friend and I said it sounded like someone threw a rock at one of the tombs but my friend said that its was her camera...her camera popped and then stopped working.


Get us out of there. Place is a damn nightmare.


Do you guys really believe his friend is AFK?

First, you can't be AFK for SO FUCKING LONG!

Second, Redditors don't have friends. Everyone knows that.


I once asked my wife this question and she responded, **"Horse cock?"**

I was laughing so hard I didn't even tell her the real punchline.


It's not racist or sexist if it's true. :) [](/smug)

ETA: Holy shit this got brigaded by mad white males. [What about le Reddiquette, gentlesirs](http://www.reddit.com/r/ShitRedditSays/comments/2ryz0q/about_woman_using_laundry_detergent_in_dish/cnkvdnx?context=3)? Don't downvote just cause you're throwing a tantrum.


He's still on the plane. He meant 13ish minutes younger.


No, 3 people were scolding me that atheists believe in founding a utopian society free of religious laws. That is not atheism.

Dude next to me was considerate and open-minded, as was Noah.

EDIT: I like scold better.


Humans are pretty fucking wonderous.


is being gay an insult to you? what's your problem?


...want none, unless you're God's son, Hon'.

EDIT: Thanks for the gold!


It was a joke and a pretty funny one at that. Most people have the ability to make fun of themselves and by extension others without getting all butt hurt over it. Unfortunately the minority that likes to take offense at everything ever said are usually the loudest. For instance, I found this thread from /r/all on a post made by SRS.


47 IQ points is about what the hipster east coast intellectual possesses. In Texas, we reserve the term "intellectual" for realistic thinkers.


if this was the 18th century they'd just go out back and duel...oh wait no, she'd be a slave.


Honestly after reading about windows 8 i find myself having troubles caring about microsoft and secure boot. so much sexiness....


I don't want them to worry. I need them to feel reassured, about the fact that their job loss is imminent.


She wanted to go, but not with OP. How is that an awful thing to do or makes them shitty? She said no in a nice way.


once.  it was AWESOME.  she had all the parts


Neither do ignorant bigots like yourself.


TIL that women pooping during labor is to be *cherished*


Still, it's fucking death panels. This is what you can expect with Obamacare, someone else deciding who should live and who should die.

Enjoy, fucktards.


You can find out more about this activity at www.youporn.com


Came here to say this.


whispers *methylamine is a base*


You're not the only one...


Like having gaping wounds all over your body if you're black...Keloid city.


I wrote that out of love actually.  Otherwise I would have just silently shook my head and moved on.


This is what she looks like hours after giving birth? Goddamn you, sir


Wow you Americans are losers. 20% tip is *way* too much! WTF??

Its really sad when the menu doesnt give *any* indication of how much you will have to pay in the end. Your country is f***ed up, *shame on you America*.


Sorry. Thanks for letting us know.


Just tested it, you're right, and that guy is stupid. Both for downvoting you and not understanding basic logic.


Of course you are, cat.


Finally, was waiting for someone to mention that the PC master race was better! Silly X-box kids and their DRM locked down 'can't cheat on me bro!' platforms...wololololo


" YES THIS IS BOAT, OVER"


>I don't know why, but if I ever meet you I am kicking your ass.


My mom always got my splinters out by rubbing a potato on my skin. How that works I have no idea.


or better yet stop sleeping around. Lets fix the root of the problem instead of trying to find a sneaky way around it and demand the government pay to support your actions through free contraception . Simply put, fuck on your own dime


Maybe it was dyslexic and wanted to be called Brian?


Yeah, I'm gonna have to downvote you for that.


I'm guessing you dropped your tumbler of whiskey as a shamrock exploded behind you and a leprechaun had a heart attack?


She's probably not very bright; don't be mean.


They can't show the penetration, it's only rated R.


Holy shit, guys. You really need to learn about the difference between public and private figures.


Well, you should probably start with one thumb and then work your way up to two once he's comfortable.


I already have a great job, and make decent wage/benefits. I really wanted this job for the schedule. I have a college friend who landed a job there and works Friday, Saturday, and Sunday 36 hour weeks paid for 40. It would be nice having 4 day weekends every week. Right now I'm working 5-8s and it just seems working 3 days a week would be nice.


I don't remember the first two.


I love how everybody is downvoting the people who said that is good the cop got killed... uhmmm.. Cops are legalized violence... IE the thugs that keep you in line for your political and corporate overlords. If everyone was willing and able to protect themselves a single group would not have power over us all as they do.. so yeah any loss of life is tragic but DEATH TO THE OPPRESSORS!


I have worked in IT for a decade.  How am I just now finding out about psr?  From a buried post on reddit, no less.  Thank you.

Late-game edit: this post was near the bottom when I stumbled across it.  Glad to see it climb to the top where it belongs.


Talk about shit I do not give a fuck about


ARE YOU NOT FULL AND ENTERTAINED?!


no surprise. made in america = made in shit. only rednecks thinks american made is quality


"Amazon says about three days"


To be fair, he ran behind one of the best run blocking lines I've ever seen behind a great lead blocker. It's not just all on him.


Aka a hungryman frozen dinner.


youre grammar feels like you failed grade 9


I cant breathe. You guys are too much


God that word gets thrown around here so much its lost its meaning.


*beep beep* "Calling Seth Cruz Controller Four Two Size Piles an Owl"


What the fuck does this have to do with anything


I hate this about society now. So much in the media about child abuse and whatnot it seems that every guy is immediately labelled as a paedophile whenever they do so much as smile at a kid.

EDIT: Holy shit 1000+ up votes , thanks guys!


Not really the best comparison, even if it seems as simple and cut dry as that.


"Jump the Shark" refers to blah blah blah who the fuck cares, really?

Do people really read reddit for these stupid fucking novelty accounts?

I don't even want to do this anymore.  My password is r3dd!t


Uhm... "he not supposed to be parked", it isn't my friend that is parked. Badjokeel.jpg
Edit: I actually manage to be sap over the internet...


Wow they named a city after Kevin Durant already?


HOW DARE HE BE A MORMON!!! Those dumb fucking fascists go on missionaries and help people.  And they do it but IT'S THE GOVERNMENT'S JOB TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND NURSE YOU INTO THE PEACE OF THE GRAVE.

Vote Obama 2012.  He will take care of you.


It has broadened it, for a general and unsatisfying answer. What I fear is that I will one day hit a wall where there is really nothing else to explore. But then at the end of the day the world has yet to top a good missionary position and blow job with someone I desperately want to be blowing.


I already had the tools, hope you reported them. And if you need to wall breach for a $1k bounty, definitely a peasant.


OP understood how jokes work for once


I believe this to be correct.


Y'all motherfuckers need jesus.


Did you give a shit about Helen Thomas before this whole incident? If not, then kindly shut the fuck up.


The bulge of your pants isn't from your package but is instead from your voluminous pube fro?


Fuck Nike and their child labor in foreign countries.  I'd never support them and if you agree you should upvote just do it


"I have all his earlier stuff on .mp3"


kinda funny. but doesnt really make any sense.


My brother greets my boyfriends by the previous exs name...


i'm 12 and what is this?


For real? Or is this some movie plot and i never saw the movie.


This makes me very sad. Its heartbreaking. Im usually against abortions unless its needed for the pregnant girl to survive or its rape.


You ta...

>orange

fuck


why are you so gay for Glenn?


inb4 this image gets cited in some form of "news" publication.


As a Marine, don't call us Soldiers.


We are getting into the "gritty reboot" phase of Shitty_Watercolour


Oh the Giant's knife, such a kick in the balls


Geology, however, rocks.


That suits me JUST FINE! LOLOLOLOL!

**#YOLO!!!!!!**


Yeah he is but tbh it's a kid being posted to "delusional artists" I wouldn't expect a reasonable thought process from him but you sound like you're tryna call Ye a delusional artist... shit I guess even that's hard to defend when he calls himself Walt Disney but he is amazingly talented but amazingly bad at getting his point across


A friend of mine and his uncles used to put on blue jumpsuits and carry giant mag-lights down on the trails near the river where high school kids party.

The kids would be so busy running and hiding that they'd just leave their booze lying around...

My friend and his uncles would clean this up and have liquor for months.


If you think I'm a control freak, why do you look at my stuff?  Fuck off.


agreed. No one fucks with another person's cat.


Laughing so fucking hard at this!!!!!!!!!!!1


Admin rights, it's the only thing keeping me employed.  If my users had admin on their workstations, well, I would have a lot less work to do.

edit: yes, I know, giving regular users admin rights is a recipe for disaster.


Comments in a self post generate karma. And how does an AMA work? Q&A. For every question there is a potential answer, the answer is where the karma would be gained, because it's a comment reply.


> Had an asshole in a hummer...

'...but I repeat myself.'


formal apology?

I'll get the popcorn this should be good.

(male psychology would be "fuck it... just won't go there anymore... it'd just start a fight and some massive ego trip")

gotta love women sometimes.


THEY TOLD ME IT WAS COAL


Yeah, I guess I am a cunt in relation to this reddit's sensibilities.


AMA request: OP's teammate


I used to fucking hate that joke, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


Not really. Here's a summary:

1. Buy as many rounds as you're a part of, and the last round before you leave.

2. Drink with one group at a time.

3. Don't complain or make mention of money.

EDIT: I think this may be my highest rated comment.


Champion's League > Europa League. Not really fair to give them equal standing. It isn't just some semantic difference.


Without the Oxford comma, you could end up at a party with the strippers, Stalin and Marx.


Yea, this is the third faggot post about someone who has marginally larger arms than the standard nerd t-rex arms.

Old no content post


~~Gotta be fresh gotta go downstairs~~


Dunno about that, maybe she doesn't want to marry him and he just blew multiple thousand dollars for a moment of extreme humiliation and public shame.

Boy, that'd be awkward!


You know what goes well with steak?  Potatoes.


Rest in peace in peace??? Saying rip in peace is worse than saying atm machine...


That's cool *I guess*

I've just been hanging out at this east african immigrants house. He plays keyboard sometimes, totally not into labels, and he doesn't even have the internet to upload tunes.

its *so* great.


His wife is most definitely not beautiful


Sail up to her Jack Sparrow style.

*I've come for your booty, Savy*

Edit: I don't know of I'm supposed to talk about being gilded, or just play it cool.


I know something about her doing stupid shit for attention, just like everyone else knows about her.


/r/pcmasterrace Would unleash hell and self destruct within minutes.


balls of a sex addict.


Yep. Someone who disagrees **must** be a neckbeard.

It's easier to dismiss me than to dismiss the argument.


Underaged /b/tard right there.


. <— the point.     You —>😳


Man, now I wish I had a fruit-fly problem so I could try this.


wait, you like eat cunt, AND suck dick?


"Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?"

"You don't need any help from me, sir."

"That's *right*!"


I suspect it has something to do with why he is wearing a muzzle. \

Edit: gee OK I get it, it isn't a muzzle.


Let's just say I always make sure the door's locked now.


You should change your crest to Borussia Dortmund then. I was puzzled on why a Manchester United fan would say that.


Add some hard liquor, and this is by far the most plausible explanation.


Found the lib arts major

edit: found ALL the lib arts majors


Just remember, these are the same reasons she loves being the little spoon. Minus having her weiner touched.


"you're."

suck it.


That whole scenario must have been an amazing clusterfuck of emotion. For four days straight, a humongous carnivorous beast is trying desperately to take care of you, by continuously eviscerating penguins.


thank you george zimmerman


I think you're confused. 9/11 is an event, it can't buy things.


Beginning of time:

Really hot plasma -> Hydrogen -> Big clouds of hydrogen -> Big balls of hydrogen -> stars -> supernova -> heavier elements like carbon -> clouds of heavier elements -> big balls of heavier elements -> planets -> life -> humans


Way to Keep up that anti-semitic tone. Gotta love this place.


Yes, he killed over half of our hired gunmen...let's see what he can do to the other half.


Since it is at the top of this subreddit i guess people agree with me that it is a "WOAH DUDE-gif"


Depending on what else is going on with you, this could be a sign of something serious. Might wanna talk to a doctor about it.


Does that really mean anything if your home crowd is drowned out by Red Wings and Hawks chants?


The clubs make the dancers pay rent, plus a percentage they make from each dance in the VIP room. Then they are pressured to tip security and even the DJ for playing songs! Basically tip everyone that already makes a set wage for doing what they were hired to do.

Source: Wife was a dancer.


So the short answer is, no. Destro is not viable, if e-celebs could not make it work you sure as hell can't. I'm right there in the "I want my green fire back" camp but until the meta shifts, or we see more fights that cater to destro's strengths (ie: not moving) its more or less demo or bust


your co-worker is going to hell


Yes I absolutely have a crush on him. Which is why I am sad that he has a girlfriend. :( I think you're right that it's not going anywhere good. Which is what sucks because I really wish it would... boooo

Thanks for your response


The secrets of their order have been laid bare. We shall have our free water at last.


You're one of those people that bitch when they don't get to play what they wanted, aren't you?

At least you picked someone that can also jungle. Be positive, don't be Vlad's type. huehue


You're killing me, smalls.


too bad it's not very funny, but again, sunday comics rarely are.


Glad to help sir.

You could follow up with "Do you like it? Yeah you're mother and I really enjoyed that night too"


If you don't know that by now get out this sub


"3 inches hurts at 100 mph"


Got it done across her foot. I would of attached the picture but she deleted it because people were giving her so much grief over it.


Ah, a Hufflepuff then.


I had the same thought when I posted it but it posts that for every post on here and I was like eh whatever then...


Super rare achievement. I like it


Never had water, but it used to drink liters of soda everyday...

You people doesn't get it; this is an healthist ad made by big bottled water companies to have you buy water instead!


Remember when they showed cool stuff on The Discovery Channel?


DAE LE KARLINGS... god... this sub has become crap.


Oh come on, this was his plan all along.


And they say humour is dead. No! It's just lazy.


Or the Spanish Inquisition.


"it happened in Syria" is new meme.


A while back, I never contacted this guy I liked out of fear of this. Then I moved.

But its fine, because I found him on Facebook and we're both gay now.


This comment needs more upvotes.


That's because he is.


Can I bribe you to stay?  http://i.imgur.com/vxIpq.jpg


You gotta just go year-round at this point, right?  It's March 18th here, too.


Oh em *gee*. Totes. Adorbz.


it's time to play...

WHEEL OF FORESKIN!


In spirit I admire what he's done, but yeah... there a chance we're dealing with someone with a mental illness here.


Mistakes were made, forgive!


No she isn't allowed to that. At all. Even though she didn't give a "name" still breaks the rules


Hindu person discussing what to say to Vishnu before being reincarnated?


Also, a non-American company being sued by an American company int he US is pretty much like a white man suing a black man in the 50s.


Screw river of gold when I get rich, river of HP Cyan!


lol what a huge fag. Lordy i'm ubsubbing this subreddit


You'd be a lucky bastard to get above her dog on that list.


I was expecting boobs because I can't imagine myself not stopping to thank that wonderful lady.  Boobs are fun and awesome, grabbing the bike is terrible.


I just don't like getting charged the "convenience fee"


And I agree you should go fuck yourself.


op is now ordering vice city.


Yes.  (See how deep we can get this reply thread. :))


'Everyone' also includes you.

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmxx11BQI21qa2hzlo1_500.gif


So the kid will return to weed as a drug addict? That's a terrible point to come up with as an advocate.


Usually, mods remove comments like this.

Not today.


and that's your opinion.

What don't you guys get about that? Dudes saying he think candy crush sounds faggy, and some PC police says its a fact its not. If he thinks it sounds gay then that's his opinion.


CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKERS

[Le] Edit: Upvotes?!?!?! LOLOLO

Allow me to post my comment again in order to double the karma!!!

CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKERS


No cock block there.

FTFY


Have you tried using the blur tool in photoshop? I've found it really blends stuff together.

Lol, jk. I don't understanding anything going on right now.


Dude. Spend less time on the Internet.


Be yourself.

Unless you are a wrestling fan.

Then don't be yourself till like 6 months in.


Ya there all sick cuz they have no vaccines has nothing to do with clean water and living standards #ureallzysmartzar


She married a fucking youtube comment?


Jews arent white.   You aren't one of us you crack head scum.


Wow. I'm impressed that your name is quite relevant.


Reddit uses the existence of the word misandry in dictionaries as evidence that it actually happens.


Blue.  That's easy for me because it's blue.


Nobody wants to hear about your crazy fucked-up dream.

I'm not being mean, it's just a piece of general life advice.


I don't always take people hostage but when I do, I stop for a bit of Dance Moms.


They won't because their weak as shit, and they do whatever the fuck I say.


I'll buy it at a high price.


I'm just glad to be a part of the presumable high point of your life. Posting a photo you found on reddit, onto reddit.


>I know there's a pretty big social stigma around owning a fake vagina tube

Look what the internet has made you say.


Are you a fucking retard?

He showed 2 of his friends a picture and then talked shit about her behind her back.

She posted his picture to FUCKING EVERYBODY.


i have always found those funny, like someone would be " oh damn i'm not 18 " then just close the site and sleep.


Are you terrible insecure?


I dropped her off at her place, the now ex's face dropped as I kissed her sister goodbye, and I drove away.

Got a screaming call 10 minutes later and just coyly replied "I thought there were no rules"