Really, an entire country of over a billion should suffer because of the actions of a few people? Don't be such a fucking racist.


That was actually your own fault.


You keep praying to god there buddy. Fact is that people who look for useful answers are better than people who pray to imaginary friends. Yes, atheists do tend to be smarter and better people. If you don't like it go back to your church group.


FORTUNATELY MY MUM NAMED ME PENIS


and obviously they didn't care enough to share it with this sub,  just in case some folks here didn't see the pic of a kid wearing a shirt from the best gorram show fox ever canceled.


My love for Block Dude cannot be expressed...


Holmes would have not put up with that from a poor man.


Let us all worship Mind101, for He is the Lord.


Wow, you are stupid. Everyone knows that 20 year olds are retarded and can't be trusted to make a decision about anything. Why on earth they are legally allowed to get married is just a mystery to me.


Plz show me a working moral compass.


honestly i wonder that too.


As a woman, that sort of thing pisses me off. No, I did not "train" my husband. He's a great guy, and I didn't have to do anything to him to make him that way. That's why I married him.

It's the same as if someone came to my house while I was doing dishes and said, "your husband trained you well."


I got [gilded](http://www.reddit.com/r/food/comments/2utfvj/scratch_made_bacon_egg_and_cheese_pizza_there_is/cocjh28) for a comment with 2 upvotes yesterday.

No idea what to expect these days.


You're killing people? I'll get you where it really hurts: your blog.


Upvote, I don't think anybody got it


When in doubt. Act like a cat.


Someone made a sexually related joke to a female, WHITE KNIGHTS AHOY


But we ostracized unidan, and now we may never know the truth.


Of course I'm serious. Go read the Bible.


ACK! I'm trying!!! I'm trying!!!! I'm down to just 2 in the morning!! Gahhh.... Sorry.


>I dont think you can judge.

Sure can! This person is in their 20s and they are dating somebody who's barely a teenager. Barely in high school. Its fucking disgusting, its paedophilia, and its rape. I am looking forward to seeing all the apologists for this fucking bullshit banned from here.


So the campaigns still pay for the music, its just that the artist doesn't like who is using their song legally. I'll buy it.


I'm absolutely incredulous as to how this is being modded up.


I doubt it.. The most I could hope for is a 3some.. It's not gay if it's in a 3-way!


I see exactly zero kershaws with serrations in this pic.

Edit: Wow, 42 downvotes because I didn't see any serrations. What a great community you've got here.


Depending on my mood I do that anyways. If I'm feeling angry enough then I'll just say it and hope they want to start something. The key is to be mentally unstable then you can say just about anything and people will not stop you.


haha good quote it made me lol!!! lol! xDDD


-I want to get a full body tattoo of myself, but taller.


hahaahha WHAT? what in the world is a citrus bowl? half a fucking lemon`?

/r/butthurtamericans


I don't think most of the population is into bestiality

Edit: For those who immediately thought of racism...refer to the username of the comment to which I'm replying.

Edit2: I even got honorable mention at /r/shitredditsays: http://www.reddit.com/r/ShitRedditSays+none/comments/xsg8f/i_dont_think_most_of_the_population_is_into/


Chuck Norris has to shower with cold water because hot water is too afraid.


It's really the girl who's wearing the strap-on moaning that makes me roll my eyes.


I like how Microsoft thinks it's okay to charge me to use my own internet on my Xbox.


Adam Sandler won the Razzie for both worst actor *and* worse actress.


So he's the cause of the creeper?


tHANKS, NOW I CAN READ IT.


i was about to come here and say the same thing lawl.


> put yourself in Georges shoes...

Why George's shoes when Fred's are the same size and empty?


I'll tell you. "I'm a girl, give me karma."


Romans are as ancient to us as pyramids were for them.


Socialism in action. And liberals try telling me Finland is utopia


Damn, I went from laughing at the other guys story, to feeling suddenly hollow inside. Sorry about your brother's friend :(


well, as long as it's organized.


"Oh god.. *oh god!*"

"GOD IS DEAD!"


Some of us live in states where this isn't a big deal anymore.


Friendly reminder that "prick" is a gendered insult. (◡‿◡✿)


I have my doubts as to whether or not he's even a legal citizen of the USA.

**Edit: Not José, Barak.**


There has to be an engineering solution to keep shit from hitting a fan


maybe because they're the most obnoxious twats on the road?


Until you both go on a Hawaiian vacation and unwittingly wind up at the same hotel and wacky hijinks ensue!


Time to not waste any money and play it on my xbox!


dogs can indeed be rehabilitated, there was a video on here a day ago of a man who came to see a junk yard dog everyday for a year, and eventually he became good friends with the dog. The dog came around...


Tons of people do this. It's pretty insane that OP dares to confess it though.


All those bullshit personality disorders are made up by rich psychiatrists relaxing in their ivory towers who've never had to directly deal with evil people in their life.


Necrosis of tissue ... gangrene and the plants have taken root in the void.


When you say fucking crazy, I imagine a person foaming at the mouth, pulling their hair out, jumping on a table at a bar and violently attacking people...

Dude... releax.


I don't think ive ever laughed so hard at a plain "ok" answer


You are an idiot.  End of discussion.


AlphaRedditor is RPG! **SIGN MY EYEBALLS**


I was totally digging you until you said "mah nigga". Until that point, I thought you were cool.


But watching videos takes at least one hand, too.


Hey, why hasn't sex fallen out of her yet? I've put in almost twelve kindness coins!


And now I'm wondering if buffalo is a word.


People who use the word 'I' as much as you do are selfish little shits. Grow up.


Yeah, that makes mine seem... anticlimactic.


Newfags can't smileforce.


Happened to me - Outcome was she was busy sleeping with some other guy ... womp womp.


What the hell does that have to do with spreading the idea that unconsented sex is cool and funny?


It's pretty funny because people used to get scolded for doing a request for Obama because he'd never do one.


Ill let you do you and continue your 'prison strength' training techniques. My training program is doing just fine as of late and it doesn't include creatine. I use beta-alanine, fish oil, glucosamine, whey after tough workouts, but I let my diet take care of my needs


This all sounds very familiar. We went to school together!

EDIT: GO TIGERS


The retard is strong with this reply


Bill Gates is worth ~$50 billon iirc.

One percent of that is $500 million

Divided by 100 he still has $5 million dollars.

The average american does not have even $500 000 dollars

**TL;DR** Bill gates is rich as hell


For something so trivial? I'm surprised if that's all there is to his PhD. This is supposed to be original research but there is a multitude of [prior art](http://facetracknoir.sourceforge.net/home/default.htm) and not to mention his implementation doesn't even track that much. It looks like it's just engaging the lean buttons when it detects head leaning.


This is a person that is responsible for preventing deadly combinations of drugs in people's systems.

Sweet jesus.


You see - this sweater says "can't stop the 3 peat" which alludes to an future 3 peat.

If the sweater said

"3 Heat Couldn't Stop the 3 Peat" you would have a point.


the op sounds like a terrorist for even asking


I used to mod f7u12, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


What about Rupert Grint? I can't decide if he's good looking or not


Yeah this is why you're lonely bitch!

We got him /r/Kurcide


I thought he was originally okay with it, then Scientology's reps whispered in his ear and it was over, at least I recall that from interviews I may be wrong


So you think it's mature to go mid when your last pick already said he wanted that position?


"Oh darn, I don't see an ashtray, better not smoke." -Nobody, ever


There is no wing of feminism seeking to harm trans people, that's baloney.


>*I'm sorry, it was too easy.*

Just like your mom. I'm so sorry.


maybe instead of trying to provoke cognitive dissonance in another subreddit, /r/mensrights can try to bridge understanding and realize that many women lack self confidence, and few (not all) derive confidence from destructive behaviors.  Same issues with men, insecurity issues.

Interesting and ironic to use Mel Gibson as a stereotype.


"NO NO NO it's not what it looks like, I'm just putting a little boy's face on all of them! "


I don't see how joking about rape is funny.


It's called a spaghetti-stay-water-go-away.


As i commented below, K3KC wouldn't be making money off of it if it wasn't for CF.


My brother fucking says that all the time. "Why are you an organ donor? Doctors won't try to save you if they know they can have your organs."

He does this everytime he looks at my ID (which for some reason is fairly often.) I just figure he's too high to really think that shit through.


Yeah, that's what I thought. Turban doesn't = Mohammed.

But perhaps it's wishful thinking that /u/AWildSketchAppeared is showing intolerance towards terrorism as opposed to the whole religion. There's enough of that on Reddit right now.


No, no, my face did a well enough job.


OK, if everything in England that had a remote link to "tradition" was protected from obsolescence there wouldn't be room to build any more crumpet factories and you'd all starve.


I dunno, Stinky Vagina is pretty bad...


Oh look, a frothing parent doing anything to justify their failures; that's something new.


*"Wait. Does... does her bellybutton count as one?"*


No, op could be a complete stud but she would still say no. Its the mindset that has been created in America. Women are princess and men should be willing to bend over backwards in an attempt to figure out what she wants to hear.


Or perhaps live but completely unplugged (not even mics).


Because an allegedly deflated ball is totally what separated you guys from a Super Bowl appearance.


Blue barracudas or GTFO


Yeah, WTF, someone teach them to learn the difference between a kike and towel head!


It's short for Danesh


9? WTF were you overweight or something cause that's incredibly young.


a very short, very portly woman was making my sandwich in a really busy subway on campus once, and while leaning forward to grab the mayo she put her entire belly on top of my sandwich. without thinking I yelled "NO I DIDN'T WANT THAT!", turned and left.


Take the downvotes like a man. To butthurt some nerd on the internet so bad that he downvotes you is the greatest compliment in any thread.


To be fair, it wouldn't really work if it was out of the plastic.


The sad part is, this is my first comic to make front page. [](/lol)


You still gotta take out all that air!


"**Me too.**"

-Cavemencrazy


Are you saying we should teach them

Guerilla warfare?


First of all, how about you calm the fuck down.


Whatever it is, it looks badass everytime.


here's my vote for [change.](http://lmliberty.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/a_us___obama_change_x_framed__poster.jpg)
wait... how did that get there?


I like the way you fallacy, sir.


>This fucking asshole has never seen a close family member degrade over the course of months, years, until the only thing that remains is a shell of their former self.

You know this how?

Edit: I wasn't trying to be offensive or trying to defend Lucid. I just don't think feeding the troll will make the situation any better.


Come on guys, just man up and sit down like a lady. Then push that boner as far down as you can.


I don't understand why people are obsessed with her. She's so damn ugly.


It's amazing how many racist terms go back to slavery. I don't think very many people are aware that "cracker" refers to the one cracking the whip and not the color of a biscuit.


I really highly doubt what an average 21 year old keeper says to Kuyt did anything to make him miss. It just shows how low that guy will stoop.


u realize

most of that condom

was halluc

LOL


Came here to say this


What if you are black but were really good at football?


Can't wait for school to start again so this stupid meme shit stops showing up on my front page when I'm not logged in.


"No fat chicks."
  -Benjamin Franklin

Just kidding. He loved all the ladies.


what? somebody tell me what a cartoon fish has to do with videogames. i wasted 10 seconds of my life on this shit...+ another however many seconds it took me to type this.... -_-;;


"Good god."
"God Damn."
"Damn, dude."


I don't think I ever claimed this picture to be of myself, which indeed it isn't. However that isn't to say If you take pictures of yourself on my phone I won't post them on reddit for karma


As a bartender, I'm surprised you're calling "vodka and cranberry" by its proper name. Good job!

Edit: You do in fact garnish Cape Cods with a lime. I just include it when people say "vodka cranberry", and if they don't like it they can always just remove it from the rim of their drink. The tip I was given is to usually garnish with contrasting colors in mind.


Because this isn't WoW.  This isn't an MMO, and the bosses aren't even hard.  Tons of elite packs are harder than bosses so why isn't the headline "Kripp taking on invulnerable molten vortex reflect damage fallen maniacs!"?  Oh right, because he farms goblins all day to get gear.  I guess I'll just have to read about it in the history books.


& even then /r/gaming isn't unison behind this - so at best this campaign will lower pre-orders.

Personally I have no interest in backing internet campaigns like these - not that I usually pre-order (even if I use Kickstarter and Early Access).


I think I found her [facebook.](http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jackie-Chan/112235312126431). Might be nothing but it's worth a shot.


Wow... this was my childhood...


I used to scare the shit out of little kids but then I took an arrow to the knee.


neonatal jaundice isn't actually liver failure. it's most likely due to increased bilirubin in the body, and the liver has trouble keeping up. fun fact: the cure is putting the baby under a specific frequency of blue light. my son had to have it done... I called him the Tron baby.
posted this just because I was excited I actually knew something I didn't learn from a TIL post


THERNKS FER DERLERVERIN, U ER BERTER THERN ERP.


What do you say to the feminist with no arms or legs?

*nice tits, bitch.*


Why not just put kungfu panda movie in the background?


When in doubt, add more underscores


Because it's in the locker room


the fact that I also worry about my cholesterol is merely a coincidence.


I could care less about karma. My bro is 25 and can't even read or write above a 3 year old level.  He deserves to have his story shared. He finished his 14th marathon (26.2 miles) this Nov in NYC.


Ugh, my parents caught me buying presents the other night, so embarrassing! Not as awkward as the time my sister caught me buying presents and decided to sit down and buy presents though.


Only that one guy is terrible. All of the others are good speakers.


Seemed to be a pretty good way.


people who like siv have a brain..thats not inside their head sadly


Meanwhile the mother was Fucking terrified.


Seeing as how free music has been available for over a decade. What is the point? This goes for movies also.

OMG!1! You can watch this movie online for teh free!!1!

Yeah, no shit.


Probably a few lawyers, too


Who the fucker are you honkey?


Those dudes are sooooooooo over it. They see that shit everyday, sometime twice a day, 6 days a week. I have yet to meet a camera man who give a shit. lol.


Except for Bush is faaaaaar better then Obama, the guy raised by communists FOR communists.


Actually he goes by Twin 1 (that's it's own less interesting story lol). I forget what his reddit user name is though. We're both competitive in Smash Bros Melee so it's probably something like /u/meleetwin1


It's partly because reddit is full of shitheads that this 'joke' frontpaged... but MOSTLY it's because reddit is full of pedophiles who want to try and normalize their shit as much as possible.


>I tried some of my son's baby yogurt and it was amazing.

&#3232;\_&#3232;


You are not qualified to participate in this debate since you can't follow the rules.


Awwwwwwww yeaaaaaaa.

No. I don't want anyone cutting into my junk.


Today I was called a Terper for questioning inconsistent statements,  it was a good day.


Thank you for being a nurse.


It's not, so it's good you're on your way


Who cares about 3DPD when you got a perfectly fine 2D waifu?

/s


I guess that's true. Still should have been tagged as a spoiler if you ask me.


>Still worse, the next morning, I actually wore them for awhile, trying to feel some indirect contact between my genitals and hers

If this isn't testimony to the power of the pussy, I don't know what is.


hahahaha did you create an account just for that?


It's the kind of "clever" thing that's actually stupid to anyone with sense.


stalinism is generally considered a bad set of politics.


He was trying to establish dominance


By engineer do you mean he put together a lego set with more than 50 pieces? You should reward the retard by preparing a bowl of lead paint chips and pennies for him, we all know how much the downies love eating those.


> She told me I was the best

of the "30's"


> I have not made any money from this account.

You told me previously you've sold paintings via reddit and via your website's contact info.


3 hours? That can only mean one thing.


I am as cool as a cucumber, amigo.


And then unloaded a few clips into a brown person.


I don't care how long you've been a fan. That doesn't mean you saw the game/play in question. Unless you've seen EVERY White Sox game since you were 6.


That is a ridiculous notion! I would never see that coming


Wealth inequality? Do you mean to say that some people are wealthier than others? Wow...


Are you giving me permission right now?


That's because A: you support Chelsea and B: youre delusional


Because the director was being a dick to the extras. Nice guy Clooney. TIL


racism = prejudice + power. in this day and age, black people are not in power (in relation to white people). white males are at the top of the social ladder: there is no way anyone can hit them with racism or sexism. sorry, dude.


So you're both douchenozzles.


Dank meme, bro.

[Yes, give me all the downvotes!](http://i.imgur.com/RHqVvuO.jpg)


When I was 12 I was 100% certain I would get the best prize at the bottom of the cereal box BUT NO MY SISTER HAD TO TAKE IT.


It doesn't particularly matter. I answered the OP's question regardless of the votes on my comment. The votes are simply preventing other users from seeing the actual answer.


Well this is awkward...


Why the fuck do you downvote me? I guess you have never heard about the agreement that Germany would never be remilitarized. Well, Germans signed it and broke it in the mid 50s.


They just want ten cents off their ham gum.


>$1050 for used Fridge, Oven and Range Microwave

Well, that's literally over half the cost you just glossed over there. Cost new? How much were they used? Craigslist? Ebay? Retailer outlet? Floor models? Warranty? etc.

Edit: OP made a post about obtaining and renovating on a budget, the least he could do was add specifics. This isn't fucking Pinterest.


* :|
* :)
* :D
* :'D
* :'DDDD
* &#3232;\_&#3232;


Get shit on bro you guys suck lmao, get blown the fuck out. Maybe it's time to stop investing in jerseys and spend more time practicing.


I heard as she was being discharged, he showed up at the hospital and straight out just threw a baseball directly at her face, for no other reason than consistency.


it was a simple misunderstanding, and for that you overgeneralized an ENTIRE population.

You're the real fuck in this situation dude, people like you make the world a worse place.


Seems to me like all child beauty pageants fall under this category too. Can we get rid of those please?


I'm still waiting for the evidence the US claims to have for the downing of the MH17 by Russians.


For a couple of reasons. He'd refuse and try to sneak back / pay back the money all the time. I also didn't want him to feel guilty every time we hung out. Would I have felt good if he knew it was me? Sure, of course, but he desperately needed the money and I felt that giving it to him anonymously and him having the cash was more important than personal self-satisfaction.


you are the lamest gimmick account ever


Alternately, crash a home into a fleet of their F-18s


Sorry I'm not 12 years old.


>I'm all for public shaming.

This is necessary. There are no longer repercussions for people's actions.


That is fucking disgusting. How can you fap to those skinnyfat whores?


This happened to one of my dad's friends. He just went back and had what looked like "VOID" stamped over it.


I hate these posts, and I hope you stay banned. These posts just encourage liars and cheaters.


I cant believe I just read that whole thing


This. Those guys are total douchebags. Brb talking more about religion then religious people.


*would you fuck me? I'd fuck me.*


There is defintely denying that. He was fouling all over the place.

Harden should have had 6 FTs at least in the last 2 minutes, instead he gets a charge call and a 3 second violation.


Eesh, I cringed a bit reading the femur break. :(

Thanks for the AMA!


That's just uncalled for.


If they come from the mouth, not butt.


Hahahaa, have an upvote. You redditors are the best.


Drunk you was probably timing himself and is gunna try and beat his highscore next time!


you should have an "AD" before you leave. hahhahhahah
just kidding.


Damn. Nothing gets by you, huh?


Yeah, Condoleezza Rice, one of the prime architects and vocal supporters of this century's most revolting and pointless war. What a great role model for kids everywhere!

Edit: That was quick! And here comes the downvote brigade - apathetic, idiotic war criminal supporting cunts, each and every one of them. That propaganda machine isn't going to feed itself, kids.


Did this to myself inadvertently once. Up side was my kitchen floor was spotless once i had mopped up that mess.


Because I used to play competitive call of duty and still follow the scene I can't be a smart person?


>Kevin McCallister as fuck

tftfy


netflix bitches love smilies!


There's nothing unmanly about using red-hot pieces of metal to shove heat into plants and liquids that you've smashed together until they chemically rearrange into edible food that you can throw into your face.


actually... it used to be awesome but now it's been niggered down all to hell w these gay ass ds titles and stupid wiimote shiyut... still gots respect for zelda but DAMN miyamoto get your cock out of the cookie jar and quit tryin to appease the shithead casuals and retarded children... all hail true classic gaming!


Especially babies.  They're so smug with their "wah wah wah change my diaper, feed me some mushy vegetables, I don't want to take a nap."  Go fuck yourself, baby.  I'm sick of your shit.


That's not remotely implied by the headline.  What an obvious troll.


... and those heavily wounded ...


As I was one for a few years, it feels right.


so successful I had no idea until you said it.


~~SPAM!

Could someone please hit the report button - I don't have one on alienblue.~~

My bad, page didn't load right on my phone.  Carry on.


*sigh* Looks like we have to put her down, someone grab the silver bullets.


>Nuanced, honest and about as non-black-and-white an account of the issue as you're likely to find. Really sad too.

Next week on Rush Limbaugh: Women brags about desire to murder her disabled son in liberal media rag "slate" magazine as part of anti-Santorum argument.  You know what we call women like that?  Sluts!


My mom always says this joke wrong. "What do you call a fish with one i?" Fish. She starts laughing harder than any body else


who downvotes a dank meme?


its all good, they got their helmets on


No it isn't. Imagine getting a coffee... or going to the ATM. You would have to be a complete idiot to call this genius.

Your comment is sucking up to the circlejerk! Why do all comments that contradict and argue with the title get upvoted so much? Guess what Mr. I will have to downvote you with my 5 alternate accounts (-:

**enjoy downvote oblivion** LOL


They have given us an $89 allowance a day for lodging and $30 for food. And just a $200 for clothing.
I have so much paperwork I have to do through them and they told us yesterday that we will eventually get money back for our losses....but that could take up to two years.


how about 'current gen 3 years ago'?


Holf fuck I can whistle now.


you're a legend for this mate

EDIT:I DID THE SAME THING AHAH POSTED ON THEIR SUB


In that case, you would like [mine](http://imgur.com/a/t8aIx) as well.


Nothing pisses me off more than with half the audience laughs at a joke I saw in the trailer at least 10 times.


> "Woah, naked asses!"

I died.


If you believe the fact that they're aboriginal, you do think they're aboriginal.


For a true free credit report, go to www.annualcreditreport.com

You're guaranteed 1 free report per year from each of the 3 companies.  This will not give you your score though, just an itemized report.

I've also used www.creditkarma.com for my TransUnion credit score.


I apologize for my mistake. I misread your post as "Someone dared accuse me of privilege" instead of "someone assumed I was part of a privileged group I am not."  Your arguments for the existence of "reverse racism" and "misandry" are still problematic whether they come from a place of privilege or not.


My favorite episode is the one where Ted is a love-sick puppy, Barney is a misogynist, and Marshall and Lily love each other but have some kind of argument.


I used to be pissed at Shitty_Watercolour, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Tell them about how you put things inside her.


You must be great at parties.


Maybe one of the cops did it.


I'll be downvoted into oblivion for this, but fuck you and YOUR opinion.


So you wake up around 3 too?


Actually they use the natural heat from the black top's surface. Remember playing on those as a kid! Shit still burns.


32 and living the Bronze V high life...


I voted up both of these, what now bitches?


Son, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?


My high horse is very comfortable and I am proud of it, thanks.


Uggh, my life. When the school's internet is better than my home internet, it makes me wonder why I don't just live in the library.


Like "Good day, jolly chap" and such?


You gotta admit it takes some serious balls to say that.


Are these guys in the navy or are you just bragging?


i think he means spider spider


So if your government closed air space because of a volcano and those pixies couldn't come you would resort to violence, cute.


Also, don't vandalize nature... you dickheads!


I'd fuck Qui-Gon just so that he wouldn't bother with any more sequels.

Actually, I'd fuck Qui-Gon just to fuck Qui-Gon.


"Kids go to war to become dead" -Reality


Off subject but,.... Really? How'd this comment get 17 points?? "The good Mexicans" ?!?! Geeeez


I take everything personally. Everything - a bad-written essay, a poorly-drawn picture, a burnt cake - is directly tied in my mind to my intelligence and skill and, so, my self-worth.


The thing is "T U C K F R U M P" isn't actually synonymous with "Fuck Trump". For the most part I don't think it's really used as an insult.


For some reason I read NaHCO3 as Nachos.


Yea you mexican idiot, humor is so funny.


Move your hand 75 mph backwards momentarily and take a quick reading.


Who said anything about hate?  [Here's](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bradford/5109518.stm) what happens when you put political correctness above the welfare of children.


Sweden. Trips and dinners are considered bribes here if they are over a certain (extremely low) amount.


lol TMYK
-14 in 5 seconds, that's my new negakarma record!


That's not rulebreaking, that's just damn good engineering.


Programming is a subset of CompSci


And then he'd give you a really dirty look as he rolled out the stall in his wheelchair.


Well you won't do a job without pay, why should I post without karma?


Here's one you can send to your mum.

Guaranteed no hidden dick.

http://imgur.com/oM8cE7w


BBC's a joke. I don't believe a word they say after reading some of their coverage on Israel. They pretty much lied to make Israel sound like the aggressor when they were acting in self-defense.


watercoloured

http://i.imgur.com/T6BmL9I.jpg


Thanks I don't give a fuck hate a winner


"Warning, do not enter unless you are 18 years old"


You sound like a child.


Why would you dad think Charizard is a right parenthesis?


Screw your store.

Asshole merchants will not be ... ummmm...  shopped at....

YOU KNOW WHAT IM SAYING.  Screw this sign and your store.


Just the tip?

Had to...


>posts valid opinion

>downvoted


My register was short $10 one day when I worked at Blockbuster. The manager asked me to put my own money in there. I said no. He said he would have to write me up.

I got written up.


A few users here being above average intelligence doesn't excuse playing childrens' games to that extent.


▨-▨¬ლ(•_• )

You could say you saved yourself,

(▨_▨¬)

In the wink of an eye.


Wow, you guys are amazing.   Can you explain to me what ask me "anything" means then brainiac?   Can you genius?  If I can't ask certain things then why the fuck is it ask me anything?

Fantastic.  Now get the fuck up off my nuts bitch!


Man... it would realy suck to be grilling and have tons of jet fuel dumped on you.

edit: or a jet I guess.


I never said it was, sweetie.


She said Doctor not WebMD


I hope you find out soon.


In most of Europe and South America, its, customary to believe youre safe in the back seat of a car without a seatbelt

Source: Am italian/canadian and just spent 10 days in Buenos Aires.


Head after Indian food?

Does this guy want his cock set on fire?


Please seek help. being mentally defected isn't anything to be proud about. i know you are very confused so please go to a person who can help you.


So he's just a redditor?


It's a fucking railgun.


I filmed chick who did it to me one time. Great footage.


Different numeral systems were covered at least in high school.


> Assistant to the Tech Manager.

FTFY


Ah, the ol' Reddit switch-a-fuck you.


I feel terrible about it but the first thing that popped into my head was the thought of a roving band of guerrilla Hippos. And they were hungry.  Some would say they were Hungry Hungry Hippos.


What if she associates herself with it, and its just not part if this particular Facebook post? I assume OP knows her, they could have more background info.


as he was streaming "the artosis hour" he was high masters on korea, a real fan should know that


As a fellow pain, I feel your wood.


Which were based off of the sins haha


You need a dr. Like imediatly.


It's a joke old man.

*why do you guys hate america so much?


It wouldn't be such a big deal if his other skins weren't absolute crap. Baseball and junkyard, one is way out of left field and the other is garbage.


DAMMIT REDDIT, EVERY FREAKING TIME SOMEONE BEATS ME TO IT.


arrange an interview, he put a lot of work in and an interview gives him a fair chance but also gives you a number of pre-prepared easy and/or comical ways to shut him down


we should remove r/atheism from default subreddits


How many times has a socially awkward telemarketer ordered a pizza to your house after just because they felt terrible?


There is nothing, NOTHING, cool about that "bike".


and that's why you always leave a note


I'm not sure how I feel about OP saying it though.


OMG Haaaaaaaaked by yur bestie LOL ;))))))) :DDDDDD

Edit: obligatory "this is my highest rated comment, thanks reddit!"


Yeah but if u suck at it they might as well grab a dildo. Possibly one much bigger than your own junk.


While I'm at it...  I consider a neck pillow, ear plugs, dark sunglasses/sleeping mask, and ambien to be required long-flight gear.  I swear it's like time travel.  I've fallen asleep before takeoff, woken up after landing, and been confused about why we were pulling back into the gate before realizing I'm home.


Blame the refs all you want at the end of the day the Lions had a shot to win with time left and they blew it.


I would probably avoid details...  actually, I would definitely avoid details.

Yes you met her and hooked up one night.

Yes you slept together.

Beyond that, noooooooo no no... no no.  No.  No butt-discussion.


Your posts regarding trans people and trans issues are terrible, as are your idiotic assertions that this is about anything other than you and others' pathological need to be able to post whatever fucked up shit you want about trans people without repercussion.


Apple's new digital butt plug.

EDIT: Fuck yeah bitches gold!  This is so weirdly validating!  Thanks!


Hey guys, he's getting more upvotes than me!


They would have just kept cheering.


All of my karma.  You can have it.


It seems crazy that I have to say this but again, it's just 3 kids stacked on top of each other.


...aaaand a downvote for being Apostolate.


...and yellow... And red..... And green...


Anytime you desecrate a symbol, you pay for it.

Desecrate the flag, and the US military will drop a jdam bomb on your head.

Desecrate the cross, and God will lay a metastasized cancer on you.

Mark my words.

His life will be short.

Stick your thumb in God's eye

And you will pull back a stump.

Yours,

Mark Dreher


Challenge completed, aaaaaaand i'm typing this from the hospital

Edit: TIL that Reddit is easy to entertain


Hey you've got your mojo back!

..... whoops sorry, I was looking at a different tab. 1/10, unmemorable post.


I think that it is a good religion if you are a man. We talk about the difference between islam and catholic (another whole story). It seems that if you do not follow the rules of Islam then the implications are very extreme, where as in Christianity you can take it or leave it. To be honest it seemed a bit cult like to me.


Nope. I'm actually better looking than this kid, it just annoys me when people try to look like someone else.


The irony of that post reaches biblical proportions


**and dont forget you could fuck her**


Well played sir.

*Well played.*


Wait, you can dial up to the internet?

When you want to leave, do you have to dial down?


You're not a real doctor...


It's not hebephilia, if we talk about attraction. Being attracted to a 13 year old is normal, but usually adults don't have sex with them, because they know it's illegal. But hebephiles are attracted only to 13-14 year olds, so they naturally have sex with them.


I just want to point out to those that downvoted this fella...

NOBODY should ever be downvoted for seeking knowledge.  I don't care if they seem like the dumbest bastard you've ever laid eyes on, they're trying to better themselves through learning.

Edit: when I wrote this, Flea0 had negative karma.


Looks like you fucked it up pretty bad then, huh?


Why would you even want a sitter or drop the child @ a daycare centre? Bad parenting letting your kids get raised by some stranger at a daycare centre IMO.


>I don't think it requires an engineering degree

You're right, it doesn't, but as you probably know from your time in college, engineering majors really like telling everyone they're an engineer.

Edit: There's two types of people in this world: Those who can take a joke, and engineers.


You really let your father down.


You guys sound like a bunch of cigarettes


no you haven't. it is kind of rare


You can't swear on here


thank you for telling me know and not 2 hours ago


It took me until a few years ago to realize they were the same person . . . . . My girlfriend was not too happy about how upset I got.


If the excitement of being with someone new, for the first time doesn't make you orgasm...  You're doing it wrong.


That is a 200 dollar plasma TV you've just killed. Good luck paying me back on your zero dollars a month plus benefits salary, babe!


Can't you talk to him about it? Is he incapable of discussion?

I mean you said he was sorry about it, what else can he express to change your mind?


This is better than any answer I could've ever imagined


I used to be prettay good, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


"I licked the armpit of his soul."


What do you think, dumbass?


Deploying Samoans is like going nuclear.


You find her... him... it... attractive?


Yah, I hate having to read raw BIOS driver dumps just to reddit.


You're implying I care o_O Fake internet points don't mean much.


Epic comment! Haha. Reminds me of this pic of ***Robin Williams' asshole*** : [http://i.imgur.com/7EQS0y2.jpg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) NSFW


> they just want to make it late for something

And mutilate the flesh around the fish's mouth with the hook.


4... dude, that's barren. Sorry. Between 16-26 I've accumulated 40 odd notches in the bedpost... But then again, I'm a slut.

Edit: and that's with 3 1yr+ relationships, without cheating.


you know more than one person on a sex offenders list for peeing in public? seriously?


DOWNVOTES FOR EVERYONE! YOU GET A DOWNVOTE!


Nothing yet. The Netflix chief's comments suggest he's a big believer in their work. So maybe he'll be able to strike a deal with Warner Bros. to bring it to Netflix in the future. Hopefully! Would love to see a four-hour cut of that film, especially if it extends the Wachowskis' segments.


I guess I should also mention that putting planks in the same arrangement as the Nether brick fence recipe makes a trapdoor. Moron.


Got the videogame club goin' up, on a school day.


NY Times OP ED, might as well post youtube comments.


yup that's basically it.  When you put it that way it sounds so barbaric though...


> white people adopting black kids is just self serving or white guilt.

It is you sick fuck.


"Oh, I don't have to take my pants off for this?"


I think you look fine in either.  I was naturally bone thin when I was a kid.  You're stressing it way too much.


> Have a pint of Tanglefoot for me at the Barley Mow

This might be the most British sounding thing I've ever read.


Yeah and i was like "oh please god no" basically kindof like how people say stuff like that after people make sarcastic jokes


I would argue this is a [consequence of our "choose one" voting system](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7tWHJfhiyo), as people vote against the most popular evil rather than for anyone they like. To fix that I argue we need [Approval Voting](http://www.electology.org/#!approval-voting/cc04) so its always in the voter's best interest to vote for their honest favorite.


News flash, the world doesn't revolve around you.

Who gives a fuck, you turned 18 years old and became and adult. Celebrating your birthday after this point on without alcohol is just dumb and you shouldn't bother to celebrate anyways.


That's not always true, it will make you less of an asshole though.


Funny thing. IIRC the ending was shot when they shot the first episodes.


Does it have aluminum siding? How many windows does it have?

Edit: Did this guy ninja edit his comment so our jokes no longer make sense? Now I'm really offended!


Obligatory "IT'S A TRAP" here.


My teacher insisted that Mexicans didn't speak Spanish, they spoke Mexican.


No, if someone posted something relevent to trans only and said it was about LGBT, *then* you should. This is a valid thing to say, but it should have been "LGB", no T, unless you're going to mention the *complete and utter prohibition of trans individuals, as a mental illness*.


Will probably be as a result of a back problem after carrying the Arsenal team for the whole of last season.


you must not make it over to XKCD often enough then

EDIT: YOUR DOWNVOTES, GIVE THEM TO ME. I MUST HAVE THEM. OMNOMNOM


Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch?


yes because they are so much better off with heavy metals injected directly into thier bodies, so that it can affect thier nervous system.


a man cannot control his penis

a man cannot choose whom his penis finds arousing

however, a man can control his urges

a man can be a gentleman

a [man](http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/30800000/Jaqen-H-ghar-jaqen-hghar-30853960-500-700.jpg) must have honor

the red god demands it


that means that the premier league must really suck. Man U lost to Bilbao, and City lost to Sporting and the Portuguese league is like the little brother to la liga.


Your life sucks big time. Loser.


Sentient foreskin?  Tried to kill you?


do whatever makes you feel better.

why don't you take off the mask and tell us who you are, so we can go through your history as well?


"Let's send hunger  . . . TO SPAAAAAACE!"


Not really. He is always thirsting for attention and this is a good way to get it. He insults a popular fan base that has a lot of hater so the fans will get mad and the haters will jerk him off.


Or low self esteem and started with the size of a pencil.


I used to be an awesome teacher, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


Oh! I loved you in high school, I didn't really need help, but you were fun to hang out with.


Yup. Me as well so you better have made this comment worth it.


What the fucking fuck?


I think it's because she is raising her arm.


That was vindictive beyond belief...its like saying "yeah I raised you, but you were never truly my child"


Fuck Paul Walker.

Down vote all you want. Dude was a pedo at worst, or a total fucking creep at best.


More like *deadline*, amirite guys?


No, you were banned because of discussing macros, you idiot. The fact you don't understand this and still cry around is astonishing. Everybody is happy that you are banned, now fuck off.


TEN YEARS LATER? lol god. she wanted to explore the galaxy before marrying you


You know what's cute?

Two male kittens blowing each others dicks.

Get that image in your head, you idiots.


How will people line their bird cages?

edit: And the winner was iPads.


Please stop whining for karma.


Send the box with the lock to this person. He can't open it, but he can put another lock on this box.
This person sends this box with the 2 locks back to you, you unlock your lock and send it back again.
So there is just his lock on the box and he can finally open it...


Tell you what, we'll think about it after /r/bestof, /r/worstof, /r/subredditdrama, and every other meta sub does the same.


Fear of death has not stopped me from enjoying a good poop.


i didnt pick the title. it was auto generated. and may i suggest that that is a problem with you, rather than the title?


"UNRELEASED SINKING TITANIC FOOTAGE. HOAX REVEALED"


I used to comment overused memes, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


"He was dressed like a normal adult."


Possibly getting fired on your 2nd to last day...


Those in-sink garbage disposals that really only chop up the veggie waste and shove it along.  It's fine for just that - fruit/veg peels and scraps, but not for things that end up more... solid.  Like rice and greasy/fatty dishes, which will congeal in the line and cause a blockage.


Ah Navy Seals still beat SAS any time


Brain aneurysm. It can happen at any time, that's what makes it so scary!


Stop crying. Nothing good comes from envy.


When I screw up I don't wreck somebody else emotionally.

"Screwing up"? No, that implies something you didn't intend. If you took your pants off and fucked somebody else you knew damn well what you were doing and if you're too fucking stupid to realize it's wrong the first time, chances are you won't realize it's wrong the second or third or forth.

It shows a horrible fault in character.


another word for it is, pedophilia


I don't know man. The quote:

>I'll fuck you until you love me, faggot

Is like the best shit talking line of all time. I don't think there is much that can top it in any context or situation.


kid? I'm 23. Also I'm sure you wouldn't do shit. Must feel like a real internet badass coming after what you thought was a kid, eh pussylips?


To any musician who has ever loaded gear into a van it already is


Oh, so you and your wife are stupid AND you have ugly kids. Good to know.


Yeah this was news to me until recently I started reading A Song of Ice and Fire, they use the expression "he broke his fast with..." like every second chapter


This should have at least 1,000 upvotes.


I really would like to know what the average persons understanding of geography is. I imagine its as bad as this guys.


"It's not just human feces on the wall, it's human feces in the shape of the Mona Lisa! That makes cleaning it up fun!"

Seriously, dude?


I don't feel like you received proper credit for the HMCS Sorry. That made me chuckle.


I gave you a warning, if it were particularly bothersome I'd have removed your thread.  I was merely asking you not to do it again.


Slow clap for the Parks and Rec fan base


no you can't loot corpses that you killed while you were in wolf form even if you turn normal again.


You high fived yourself? ಠ_ಠ


Holy shit still LOLing.

Yeah that's right people, downvote me to the left for taking to time to create a comment to tell this guy that what he said was really funny.  Get it out of your system.


Size of an American prison [cell](http://edition.cnn.com/2014/02/23/health/solitary-confinement-psychology/): 6.7m² (72 ft²)

Size of Russia: 17,098,242,000,000m² (6,592,800mi²)

I think he wins.


Is that phrase still cashing people out with karma? I wonder which of the cookie-cutter reddit comments has racked up the most karma for people over the years. My bet would be on variations of the "How does he do X with those massive balls of his?" comment. Those have always seemed popular.


That sharp ass edge of the can, though.
*shivers*


I don't think an open source program would be very secure.


Seemed pretty obvious to me when I got the the "@earthlink.net" part.


Fair point.  I've promoted the OP to no vote whatsoever.


Now I'm picturing corgis in little corgi overalls and straw hats.


> Do you think some internet would do that? Just go on to someone and tell lies?

FTFY


Filled with the breaths of a 6yr old girl from Singapore

Edit: So apparently Singapore is the wrong SEA country to have used. Replace with your child-labor country of your choice.


i just wanted to point out that "registers" sounds like "DRM-free DL + Steamkey" but this is full DRM and Steam-only


Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. That could be ANY Opal Bjorklum.


MY DADDY SAYD DAT DA OP IS A FATTIE MONSTA N NEED TO GO TO DA CHURCH CAWSE SHE DISGWACE DA GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#YOLO


a 'serious problem' growing inside another woman's womb ?


can't any common name be a middle-name?


Sister in Law that I see more than I'd like to


Damn.. Slut alert. That pussy got some miles on it!! LOL, and you're still in your 30s?? Hate to tell you, but you're what's called "damaged goods." Good luck w/ that.


They sit down.
JZ: "So its actually pronounced 'Deadmaus,' you know."

JC: "Oh, I'm sorry.  Production crew must have screwed up because there is definitely a '5' at the end of it on my notes here."


I'm saying Ukraine is located in Europe, which the abbreviation for is EU, and it is not part of the European Union (also abbreviated as EU)


No! Thank you, you do the things no one else could do as well ANAL_QUEEN.


This is probably the cutest thing I read and proof that you may be mentally unstable and or an idiot, perfect for your current job.


I'm Norwegian, I think this all the time.


I'm in the military too. If we lose half of our budget, it will give other countries the impression that we are backing down, which is basically an invitation for them to fuck us up even more. They will immediately see our new weakness and exploit it. Have you ever read "The Art of War" by Sun Tsu? Sure was a brilliant man.


I'm slow, I was wondering why anyone would beat a dead horse then realized I'm an idiot


*CLG fans best fans. we also have biggest active subreddit


Just say "Did you know that O.J. Simpson was going to be cast as the Terminator instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger but the studio didn't believe that people would believe that he could be a killer? WHO'S BORING NOW, HOE?"


Your bigotry is showing.

I simply ignore people who use all lowercase.

If its not worth their time to write correctly, it's not worth the time to read.


It is your destiny to be a fetish porn star. Take this knowledge and use it wisely.

*Edited: I can't spell.*


Seeing as your comment is at the top, I just wanna slip a random reply in there so I can whore some upvotes.

Please upvote me.  As your reward, I'll join your clan.


*I would one up you by replying with a single word*

**This.**


Keep it classy, r/NBA


Whose bones are these!? Tell me! WHOSE FUCKING BONES ARE THESE!?!?!?


Probably because this story wasn't real enough.


As an Australian squirrels are pretty fucking exciting. So are deer.

TL;DR things not poisonous arouse aussies


Experiment: go post this:

http://instagram.com/p/xcDSM8iTET/

Let's see if it makes the front page.


laughed so loud I woke my dad up. Who was not happy to find me drunk and nakrd on Reddit.


Ahh... the old [reddit switch-a-roo.](http://www.reddit.com/r/bestof/comments/znek1/as_website_gaymer_sends_a_cease_and_desist_letter/c667gfe?context=1)


I need to be sleeping 23 hours a day in order to be at my max productivity.


This is a comparison comic please remove it from f7u12 immediately. Have a nice day.


Good guy employer for hiring someone who has had a few run in with the law. Nowhere does that and I respect the shit out of you for it. What type of work do you do?


there's this thing called google, you can type things in such as "Natalia Kills twitter" and it magically populates search results for you. just discovered it myself and thought i would share.


There's some guy tied up in a basement.  Probably Brian


You and your professor are fucking idiots if you believe rape has anything to do with sexual desire.


Son, change your fucking username; it's a disgrace.


What's your problem? Obviously nobody in Europe could possibly have a hard time?

How can you dismiss hundreds of millions of LGBT people?


d-d-d-d-d-drop the frames


Did you post for the sole purpose of making me feel bad for not agreeing with the prevailing sentiment and actually applying critical thinking to the situation?


Yes. Excellent work on the dong.


He won't make it to 60. Hopefully.


I would download a car.


I've seen new players do it on stream. It's painful to watch.


The best donation so far http://imgur.com/HUeMg


http://i.imgur.com/bZO2n.jpg

EDIT: so I make the img res tag friendly and got downvoted to oblivion, probably my most hated comment yet!


> I am $100,000+ in debt thanks to--

Holy shit, how often did you go???

> --law school.

Oh.


It doesn't count when you rape your babies 3-5x per week you sick fucking nigger. go die


FOUR.

WHOLE.

MARIJUANAS.


i love you, koronicus.


I didn't know it was acid, but I knew he was on something.

a) It was evident.
b) One of his crew sweetly warned me.

So I just played along.


that stupid nigger needs to buy a bicycle

cars are for niggers


As a person who ever even morally could work for geeksquad (or bestbuy in general), I hate you.


-Jimmy Fallon's parents (9/19/74)


A simple beating wouldn't fix their whoring ways.


1. 22

2. I want to build rockets. I'm a senior in Aerospace Engineering at ASU.

3. I wish I knew! They were definitely the best, but I have no idea what is happening to any of the costumes.


Eventually I started using pH strips. But originally I would shoot it and if I died don't use it. Some people have a "quality control" but it's few and far between. Yes I actually shot some shit that looked like garbage a friend made. It was an aweful high and for the next few days I felt like my back was hit by a truck.


This should be a novelty account.


Creepy? Yeah.  Surprising?  Not really.  Keep in mind it looks like there's about 8% of "men" that said yes to that.  8% of the 375 male participants is 30 guys.  Look at the ages on the right... 76 of them were 17 or younger in this poll. A 16 year old wanting to have sex with a 14 year old isn't nearly as creepy as a 30 year old wanting to have sex with a 14 year old.


This guy is shitting us, the real combo is CTRL+F4


Do you guys watch The Middle? Super on point IMO


That may happen in Canada, but here in the US if a pawn shop gets caught with a stolen item, you have to buy it back for what the pawn shop paid for it.  That sucks.


Holy crap who has the energy for all this shit?


Oh dear, it's gone already!


See the FBI didn't have a premium raid account, so they had to wait 45 seconds before entering


The hat isn't even a proper British citizen! I've never seen its long form birth certificate.


...reopening the same gaping wound over and over again.


Most people buying this are doing so to replace their current workstation.


A **man** won't cheat on his wife.

Edit: This got a LOT of attention so let me clarify for the naysayers:

I've been in the situation where an acquaintance of mine made a full set of moves on me up the point of trying to force me into her hotel room. I said no and went to my own room. Some men have standards and live by their word. Others take up the girl's offer.


We'll beat you fudge packers don't worry about that


That last line was poetry.


Sad? He's a piece of shit

Edit: This would get 3000+ upvotes and gold if it was about Ann Coulter


But isn't it a vagina's job to work the knob?


Then don't go on the subreddit right after the new episode. What did you think it was gonna be like?


    Price of MTA Subway Ride vs Pizza Slice in NYC

    R  1.5 |
    a      |
    t  1.0 |-------------------------------
    i      |
    o  0.5 |
           --------------------------------
    	   1    1    1    1    2    2    2
    	   9    9    9    9    0    0    0
    	   8    8    9    9    0    0    1
    	   0    5    0    5    0    5    0
    	               Time


The person opted to have surgery for weight loss instead of having the willpower to eat less. It would have been cheaper to hire a nutritionist and a fitness trainer.


That bumbling idiot dad figure is getting to be a really fucking annoying trope in TV.


Spoiler:

They pretend shooting brown people from the desert would ever give a Texan moral pause.


Easily the best here. Keep it up, you fucking luscious piece of ass.


That's part of nigger culture.  Try moving to another area.


Buddy, it was a fast food restaurant. I was the janitor.


PHOTOSHOP.  How are you all so goddamn stupid?


In honor of your cake icon, I will assume the 'game over' means you killed him and his friends.


Err... his name is Gareth...


So you're telling me the Chinese have now adopted the disgusting  character of their oppressors?

The irony, it burns.


Each time a new gen console comes out they have the best looking games for a few years, then PCs have the best looking games for a few year. It's been the same since I got my NES then my first PC in the 80s.

Though PCs in general used to have a more dominant place on the market.

Btw Gran Turismo 5 looks better than this.


Last approved submission ever


I see, so they're like american capitalist but with less bio-medicine. No wonder Islam hates its big brother.


I think it's Allah for the best.


lol, forgiveness?  Dude, calm down with your feels.

I ban troll accounts.  That's the start and end of our relationship.


Thank you, but your moment of glory is in another thread.


Once again. The conclusions from this, or any other study on this subject to date cannot be presented as fact, therefore, they do not belong on r/TodayILearned. There are plenty of other sub reddits where this post would be appropriate.


> I could never get the whole beans and frank**s**

I think I found the problem.


Why? Everyone above age 5 knows wrestling is just an act.


I think you'd need a degree in marine biology to tell the girls apart.


hey aint nothing wrong with that. saved you a lot of hassle, would you rather not get it back at all and deal with the dmv or just pay the guy?


Goddamn it. thanks for making me imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger in a porno


When Jews start flying planes into stuff, and strapping suicide vests onto their kids, then yes ... they'll be a cult too.


*Crunch crunch crunch*. "Whelp better try to pee that out then."


i guess thats the relationship between stephano and bling, they make sick jokes about things, JOKES. don't you say anything ever to your friends what would get you in trouble if it were in public?

it was a mistake, people with humor and social contacts had a good laugh, the rest should shut the hell up.


my mom irons our pillowcases. :(


We hate you because you're annoying


Catholics dig two things: giving punishment and taking it.
If you were a Catholic you'd know this.


XD beacuse hes 26 years old rigte?


This was so sad. :( I WILL EAT CHINESE BUFFET WITH YOU!


Please do tell which civil right the Occupy crowd is having violated.  Is it the right to make Frappuccinos for $25 an hour?  Or maybe having to pay back loans they took out?


Kick-Ass was great, his role was too!


these are caused by an std herpes virus. Toothpaste just brings it out.


I don't like crust. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.


I like your suggestive comments to "show more"

totally legit. you know good men won't like to date you, by the way?


This is a damn good answer. If you don't know it, don't have/give an opinion.


Diamond hoe with fire aspect. Exists, my friend would make it in our private server since we had too many diamonds. It lasts longer then flint an steel. Way longer.


You have to return your blank piece back in to the cup or you lower his chances of winning.


Women nowadays are conditioned to find many qualities which are otherwise desirable, such as kindness and intellect, both of which are held by many redditors, as deplorable.  This is why me and so many other redditors face romantic hardships.


I wouldn't hold my breath


>a giant mess.

You can say that... they dont even stream melee single anymore...


Is that really the ~~adjective~~ adverb you want to use here? Really?

Edit: Thanks for the correction.  Some would see it as needless pedantry, I think it's needful pedantry.  At least the first commenter was.


No, I served my country and I serve my community. I am going to college to further assist this country.

I have probably done more and seen more in my life then you will in your entire life.


that's not creepy, thats actually pretty cool. I wish I knew how to pick locks.


so, your mom basically bought you a house. MUST BE NICE. that's ok though, you said you offered to pay it. cunt.


Kendricks next album 11/10 confirmed


They'll ban you for telling the truth about Afrocentrism. Feels, not reals.


Because it is dry and there are rarely any visitors?


haha have a downvote dude enjoy ;0p ha


If that's true, why didn't she recognise cake?


So the benchmark for someone being famous is tabloids. Perfect.


There are lots of dissolved gasses in our oceans, many of which are flammable, and yet the ocean doesn't burn...


Why should they?  It's his own fault.


If you were feeling particularly malicious after they run over their camera you could tell them that intentional damage isn't covered under warranty.


I literally downvoted you


It ends Bollywood-style with a fifteen-minute choreographed dance number.


Still kind of ironic that he's working with them, being payed for doing so and then shitting on them in his routine.


The PG-13 rating was introduced in 1984.  Spaceballs was released in 1987. It could have easily been rated PG-13.


Said Disney. The fuck kind of advice is that? That's like telling someone with suicidal thought to quit it. Yeah OP, just stop caring what the world's thinks and just simply break out of years of society sculpting how you see things. That easy, right? I understand what you're getting at but how is this the top comment?


I went to high school with a douchebag like that. Junior year he wrapped his Mustang around a telephone pole and now he's a paraplegic that has to shit into a bag.


Jesus what the fuck is wrong with you?


That's because liquid explosives have to be mixed together. They're preventing you, and maybe an accomplice, from mixing it on the plane. It's inert in the trash by itself.

Sorry, I just hate this misconception.


i cant downvote your shit enough. so ill just console myself with hoping you die a terrible death.


Great, now I'm imagining Russel Crowe masturbating in my bathroom


i just heard this yesterday what the hell is it from.


"Oh, I forgot which Jews we're saving today.  Better check Schindler's list."


Having to resort to a dictionary because you can't actually come up with anything positive about switching from 3 to 4: making my point for me.


Yeah, he performs abortions, that's how he got the chainsaw scar.


:D Not a snowball's chance in hell will Obama win.


i prefer the term "supremacy juice"


That's the way it's supposed to be used.


I fucking love her new Blank Space song, or whatever it's called.


no you don't you fucking nigger lover


Well, this thread is your time to shine, go on...


...as if "big pharma" wouldn't profit from legalization. You idiots have no business voting at all.


Does anyone else see this and think, "why is she so special?".  Her brother is a violence loving loser that volunteered to act as an agent of a tyrannical government.  Why would any intelligent person find honor in that?


The guy seems like a total jerk, but I can hardly fault him on this one.  If I was super rich and dying, I'd do whatever my wealth afforded me to ensure my survival.


I still find it hilarious how you idiots keep coming back to the fact that they don't have internet like it's their main concern, now that you can personally understand something they are dealing with. As if they wouldn't be in the streets if they could get on reddit. You don't know shit about whats going on.

Downvoted.


Now if you piss, it'll go right through that little gap between the bowl and the seat itself. I speak from experience. X_X


This...this is fucking funny.

every goddam asshole here got a motherfucking downvote because they have nothing to contribute...Except you.  One does not simply get an upvote from me.


But... but... there are sober children in Africa.


An update to a multiplayer game is not a gift.


Just going to chime on in here and say in your rules & customs around this matter are silly America.

Signed

England.


ERXERCTLER, I HERT THERS KERND ERF PERPL (SRS)


Then we shall post in the shade.


I'm not protesting anything, and I have nothing against makeup. I assumed the purpose of her post is to make a comparison and to receive comments and suggestions. I was simply voicing my opinion of which side I found to be more attractive. If you don't agree with my opinion then offer you own. Other wise, please downvote and move on.


She has a lovely anus.


Feast thine eyes upon the fields where my fucks grow and see that it is barren!


"187 with my dick in your mouth, bitch"-Snoop


I never suggested there wasn't... Are you seriously saying that reading about your poo is as fun a playing with a nice pair of boobs? I feel bad for your husband.

"Honey do you fancy an early night? ;)"

"Ok! Lets go to bed and read biology text books about the workings of our digestive system."


their treealyzer is broken. i rarely see people posting below a [7]. at a true 7 it is hard to type.


DUDE the movie has been out for like 2 weeks.  If you haven't seen it by now then you should expect spoilers.


Funny, so will humans.


MAN PUNS SURE ARE AWESOME AREN'T THEY?

RETARD.


Same here. I have the aim of a stormtrooper so it's just easier to shoot at point blank range.


I think you're looking for  /r/Half-life


"With the money I've won, I'll respray my yacht". The other guys face =O.


I bet you are just a real joy to be around.


The biggest reason is the fit of clothes.

http://www.primermagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/StyleQA_110224/magazinemodel.jpg


Im pro-life. Im not gonna just give up. Pretend these comments are rape babies. Gosh. Now i understand why im being downvoted.


"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish...and feed yourself. He's a grown man.  And fishing is not that hard."

-Ron Swanson


It's just a movie prop, I doubt it's THAT valuable.

But it's a cool movie, so at least there's that.


thats because half of america is literally retarded


Did you know that police officers are not allowed to be members of ANY political party?


These cover charges are getting ridiculous.


OMG I came in here to fuck your mom. lol


Not true!  If the earth gets 10 feet closer to the sun we'll burn up and if it moves 10 feet further away, we'll freeze to death! Isn't God AWESOME?!


I really do feel these girls are pretty vapid and whoreish though. I love nudity and I love masturbating to it- but these insecure amateur cunts who let thousands of men fap to their bodies renders them nothing more than a piece of meat, and the misogyny escalates.


He has a ridable T-Rex, what does the man who has everything wish for?


If it makes you feel any better, it'd probably happen either way.

People who don't realize a game that isn't going to be around in 5 years is worth more than their lives in 20 are pretty much destined for failure from the start.


Vegans never swallow. They spit.


thats what she said. teehee


Did not see the ending to that coming. He has such a sheepish grin when he says it too!


LOL.  Because it's friendly compliments and showing her what a nice guy you are that get's dates.  Amirite, guys?  Amirite?


There's a documentary on this, it's called The Sandlot.


So? They have no rings, meaning, no opinion.


This thought amuses me.

"So I was like, walking through the mall, and I know I caused like, *all* the boners"


lol pray tell, how does your transphobia integrate women with natal vaginas who have CAIS and XY chromosomes?

oh wait, it falls apart by the seams once you expand your worldview past the ignorance you've shoveled down your fucking throat.


So wait, now this makes sense, was the quarter there for scale?  If so, then it makes a LOT more sense.


Kind like the Bengals LOL have fun losing to the Colts


It doesn't matter if you have the beard on the outside. What matters is the beard on the inside.


Are you a gay man? You seem pretty emotional about a cat. 'I present to you people of the internet community, my new kitten, brew'

Sounds really fucking feminine. And the way you're holding that animal for the camera is pretty estrogen filled.


Nice try, McDonalds PR department


> Now whether **your** rooting for the Republicans or Democrats, that is actually quite clever.

FTFY


Ma'am, what you want is called a megaphone.


You're an idiot. You don't know a thing about me and you're already assuming I got in just because of my color. The whole point of that story was to illustrate a racist way to think about people, that you just bought into.

edit: changed the comment because it was too harsh and angry before.


"I don't get why people are so surprised my grandfather survived the holocaust. Most guards did."


The comment made sense to anyone who read their way to it.  It was a quarter of an inch from the comment being referenced.  This is not new or unique to reddit.  Cherrypicking comments at random and expecting to understand what's going on is not going to do you well.


> Aziz skit about Kanye

http://youtu.be/NqB2X7-j9KQ


Awjeah: Pocket Pussy owner.


Don't worry, the only person I can truly, truly talk about anything to is half way around the world and we've never met in person.


I kinda hope it spreads... Oh the hilarity! :D


> "You and whose legs?"

Brilliant. I wish I had that sort of on-the-spot wit.


Well no shit....I didn't know I had the drugs on me. I thought I already smoked it.


>but only with two Jesus'

I believe the correct plural of Jesus is Jesi


That is magnificent.

Great job!


ng. I interrupt people before they finish.


Would you have changed your opinion if you knew that the majority wants independence?


*18. Don't forget to include a tip when you pay*

She already got the tip, and much more.


Seriously guys, It's getting out of hand.


SEASON IT WITH GARLIC BUTTER!!!


I tried that, but unfortunately I found that a lot of reddit's meta humor has its origins there. It lead to a lot of "what the fuck did I miss" moments.


It's Bible class. Have you ever met someone who went to a Christian/Catholic school? No one pays attention. Reading the Bible was like reading the recipe on the back of an oatmeal box.


I'm not sure you read between the quote marks. Also, I used TLDR to re-enforce the insult. I know how it is used.


I'd thought about how everyone got really sick of WW2 games. It's actually been long enough that I'd quite like to play a good one in updated graphics.


So salty on the Ballon D'Or crush? Or is it your Liga position..?


Wow I've been wearing them wrong...


Just to clarify, are you justifying the fact that thousands of people found a woman's address and threatened to rape/murder her because of 'ethics in video game journalism'?


As a man, if women talk about their ability to have multiple orgasms I get hypersensitive and hurt.


The circlejerk is two doors down and to the left.

Asshole.


we are all proud of you.  you are among friends.


This is what call of duty does, it makes the experience very authentic, I love mw3


I'd fuck me. I'd so fuck me...


according to redditquette I am doing nothing wrong. It's a cross post.


Damn municipal workers!


And then she's like, "Damn! 1.5 BILLION!?!?!? Maybe I shouldn't have made fun of him for being a nerd and have sex with him when I got the chance."


Take 4 dragons and a baron to give fans false hope, more like


Why should he be telling another person what to do because he is uncomfortable?

edit to add:

Oh, baby, I'm trying to watch my soaps and I don't want to get off the couch. Bring me a beer.

Oh, sweetheart, you aren't going to wear that out are you? I mean, what will my friends say?


http://imgur.com/mN165

You would know, you are one.


My girlfriend broke up with me and i lost my home because my laptop was too thick.


woooooow XD how obscure. I laughed too hard at this.


Yet again, the "be attractive; don't be unattractive" rule applies here.

Not saying it's not justified, though.


Thanks for taking the time out to actually post something. :)


*DO YOU FEEL IT NOW, GRAM GRAM?*


Wow, haha.  I love how this place is unintentionally turning into /b/.  There is no going back now.  Time to post fap gifs for all the gore posts.


"I'm Woody Harrelson, I would like to talk to you today about my new movie, Rampart."

-- Woody Harrelson


I hope you two die of AIDS. This was front page news around the entire Earth for months. Even South Park (who cater to morons such as yourself) did an episode about it.


Oh yes it is you pleb


Not related? The Bible is supposed to be a universal infallible divine word of god that is the answer to all mankind and yet it contains stuff that is unsuitable for a subset of mankind (children) = evidence that the christian religion is false. Also what is your fucking problem dude?


That's exactly my thoughts. I mean wtf do the mods even think this subreddit is? The reddit version of yahoo answers? It's like they don't even use this subreddit.


THE POINT OF THE PHOTO IS TO SHOW HOW AMAZING MY DOG IS AND HOW WELL HE HAS RECOVERED, GO AWAY.


I've never said anything about their govt. I've said things pro their people though.


You could have told them you got traumatised, and demanded a second free coffee.


As a non-American, I CANNOT COMPREHEND THAT THIS OCCURS. I can actually feel my blood pressure rise in response to reading this. HOW THE HELL DOES THIS HAPPEN IN A WESTERN LIBERAL DEMOCRACY?!


Or they just don't think it is the job of the State to teach their young children about the splendors of sodomy.


That's one of those sentences that changes with emphasis.

*I* did not kill this man.
I did not *kill* this man.
I did not kill *this* man.


NEWS FLASH! About half of the world's population is female! And so are many gamers! =D

(psst! I know this will likely come as a shock; but your mother is female, too!)


Well yeah that's how he sleeps with so many women. You know, because of the implication.


Yet sometimes he just disappears in the fourth quarter of elimination games.

Most physically gifted player and possibly the best scorer I've ever seen.. but psychologically I don't know.


>If you need it, password is korra

And now it's not. Problem?


*bounce bounce bounce*


You're a shitty sibling.


Yes but she shouldn't be held to the same standard as him. She is a teenager who got in a fight, he is a high authority figure who could have injured a minor.


If this asshole is soo poor, then why didn't he join the military and help out with the war on terror?  How stupid can you be?!  This asshole is like every other liberal that cries "the world is sooo hard on me, and no one will give me a job!!!".  Well guess what asshole, theres always the military, but your too damn lazy for it.  And for that, **HE DESERVES TO LOOSE HIS HOME**.


You know what's made out of chemicals? Basically everything.


**WTF DUDE THATS ME!**

**I DEMAND YOU TAKE THIS PICTURE DOWN IMMEDIATELY**


hm.  botdog maybe help friend, topdop eat mans?  never tried forest dog


He didn't ty to eradicate it, there are plenty of media outlets that somehow get by without being funded by the government. NPR has great programming, plenty of people would pay for access.


That Warlizard guy definitely lets it go to his head, I tell ya what.


But away your thesaurus and get back to flipping burgers asshole.


Your mom needs to be slapped with a rake. Repeatedly. :/


Can you stop talking about her like she's a sex doll and has no say in the matter? Perhaps a rephrasing to "I can't really think of anything she wouldn't be willing for me to try on her?" Or "For her to try with me?"

The absence of recognition of her consent/participation is kind of disturbing, especially when adult stores are usually incredibly sex-positive places.


it's still around because [this](http://www.buzzlol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Sheltering-Suburban-Mom-Hates-MExicans-500x450.png) still buys it


If by babe you are referencing the movie about a pig then I don't understand what you're getting it. If you mean she is an infant, I am confused even further still.


not in Denmark. because the legal age *to buy* is 16. but there is no restriction on drinking

:EDIT: http://i.imgur.com/4XnFCJF.jpg


Dont think Stratford has a specific accent. Also she's probably african.


"I actually like the song that plays in the commercial.  They should like post the whole song online" - my friend


he just used the map making tools to put cats and a song into portal 2... it's not rocket science. plus... all this info is in the description on youtube. epic fail. -_-


I have the word "Party!" tattooed on my buttcheek. It means good times in the English language.


yea i am but my bad guys! seriously stop with the downvotes.  this is what i meant:

meh


Maybe he was just **that good** at rap?


He forreal tore his ACL


TIL cinnamon will keep out ants, and sometimes redditors


This is a prime example of how Eminem is actually shit. When 12 year olds relate to your music you are not great.


"Blythe. At least we're not Needles."


Sorry that you let your childish liberalism triumph over being right, lmao.


Madonna is older than Martin Luther King's I Have A Dream Speech.


who cares about deen martin he is dead n hasnt been relevent for years. talk about celebrities that really matter like kid cudi n lil wayne n wiz khalifa. im not interested n some old dead actors that dont matter 2 anyone under the age of 60.


Nothing. It was just for the shoot so the phone was off.


I trust corporations' dedication to their customers more than the government's dedication to its citizens. Wherever there is competition, there is accountability. And the government has no competition.


If he could make Kazaam, he could do a porno.


I know, what a fucking idiot!

He must be a tourist, since nobody who's authentically from Chicago would ever be caught dead anywhere near that stupid bean, lol.


Lego Apache death machine


I've got one from looking at this picture... *but it's in the shape of a question mark!!*

[Teehee!](http://i.imgur.com/M7PCL.png) Please take a second to go upvote [this post](http://www.reddit.com/r/Games_From_9GAG/comments/10jdms/über_game_thread_are_you_guys_ready_to_rumble/) to help us cure cancer!!

-------------------------------

Woohoo! Hop on over to 9GAG and join all the fun!


FUCK AKALI. THIS BITCH IS ONE OF THE EASIEST CHAMPS IN THE GAME. SHE CAN GET SHIT ON ALL DAY PRE-6 THE JUST DO WHAT EVER THE FUCK SHE WANTS BECAUSE SHE'S GOD NOW.

*Oh, but TriMageRyan, just pink ward her cloak-* SHUT THE FUCK UP. ALL THAT DOES IS LET YOU SEE YOUR DEATH COMING AND WASTE 100 GOLD.


How's that?  Libertarians should be focused on the spread of libertarian-ism.  If acting as government-watchdogs is all you do; you're going to appear as conspiracy theorists and scare people off.


I do it with women, but hold my breath when guys or unattractive women walk by.


Day9 would win if he practiced, but he's just focusing on other things right now.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


You know, it's funny you said that. The record label I work for is called "Sicfux" (pronounced Sick Fucks)...


If you're the same guy who asked this in Kevin Smith's AMA, I like the way you live.


http://gifb.in/qNsV

Edit: I'm a dumb ass. Reposted intended link


I just find so much joy in hearing that she was a total bitch. It makes it feel like my disdain for her is justified :)


You keep them there to give the impression you'd need to use them. The same condoms have sat in that wallet for six years.


Yep. This is entertaining fiction, but that's all it is.  Dudes who are making $230k a year aren't going to get on reddit and talk about their dick size and salary.

And women who are with guys like the OP purports to be aren't usually complete emotional train-wrecks as Jenny is characterized.


The anti-bullying sentiment has been working. If not, this would not happen. Seriously, i hope every coworker this kid has in the future digs this up and fucks with him. Fucking pillow pants.


I'm terrified of the *possibilty* my dad's on reddit... he'd recognize my username o.o


You say "let me get this straight" only to get it completely wrong?

Did someone have to help you connect to the internet? You don't seem to be bright enough to do it on your own.


More accurately, how much did it, and all of the dead ends pursued before it cost to develop?

To put things in perspective, most $ earned doesn't go to some fat cat wearing an old school tuxedo and smoking cigars, but is instead put back into R&D or some other essential business function.


"from my life's bucket list." FTFY


"I-is p-p-pizza OK kids...?"

"YOU KNOW IT'S NOT, WE HAD PIZZA LAST NIGHT.  CHINESE OR YOUR LIVER...YOUR CHOICE."


let's try a simple exercise

are all penises male


What kind of mom sits on her daughter's boyfriend's lap?


> I'm not trying to be a hero

of course not your cockblocking hard ! dont you remember article 14 in the bro rulebook?


I prefer the reboot to the original canon when it comes to Batman, but my dad (who has all of the original comics) says he can't *stand* new Batman.

"Batman shouldn't be dark," he says, "Batman should punch sharks and climb horizontal buildings, you know?"

I know, dad.  I know.


relax, its just a joke, on the internet


Little did you know he is stuck in a grandiose Groundhog Day scenario where he's forced to live his entire life over and over for all eternity.


I caught a whiff of the deception right about when I saw too many probes.


Andrew WK gives zero fucks about anything that isn't party


Why do you Americans think putting your flag on something looks badass? That looks laughably vain and would better fit in about 150 years ago when sane people gave a shit about countries or flags.


"they wear diapers"; It just gets better and better!


HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Stupid slut. Typical female with a tattoo: dumb as a sack of rocks and incapable of possessing even the slightest integrity. I hope the bitch winds up getting raped in a dark alley.


because you have no maralll Baraamotah


Ofc they had a cleaner kill than Method, Paragon had 1 more reset to do it on than Method.

Its very easy to see in the kill as well, Methods execution was much better, Paragon's kill looked kinda sloppy in comparison. Not saying Paragon is bad, but saying Paragon's kill was the cleanest is far off.


Black Guy...check.

stern face...check.

jungle...check.

hat...check.

edit: mustache...confirmed.

i see no reason to deny the fact that this IS KONY GOD DAMMIT


"So choose your title carefully -- make it useful, provide context, and be descriptive." -

From http://www.reddit.com/help/faq#Cananyonesubmitalink


Very depressing, they're out for a nice day at the beach and suddenly a fucking Ninja bursts out of the water and ruins everything


He fucked, her stupid.


And for crying out loud, *tuck it in*.


I would be inclined to agree...if this bike wasn't a plastic metric piece of shit. Kick over my home-built bobber and we've got some serious facial reconstruction to do.


They claim to hate drama because they're always surrounded by drama. They're always surrounded by drama because they always create drama.


So what process is such a person due?

The point I'm making is that there's a huge chasm between putting prisoners up against a firing squad and giving them the Constitutional protections of U.S. citizens and the civilian lawyer of their choice. Where do you draw the line?


I just threw up in my mouth.


Fuck Muslims you guys are gay as fuck!


Yup. I'd be in the dishwasher with the clean dishes no one ever puts away!


hahaha, i made you explain yourself. yes it was unecessary. i did know what you meant, LOL.


Downside: Those dudes are also there to check out dudes at the farmers market.


Let me guess, you like Apple products.


You owe me a new computer.

Edit - Seriously, it's not funny guys. He was completely convincing in his statement.


Because its just a fact.  Statistically,  black people don't watch much anime, or cartoons, whatever you want to consider Avatar.


Why not take it up a notch? Find out when one of your friends is going hiking/camping. Follow him/her in wearing the clown suit and take a timed picture with you in the foreground and them in the background, without them knowing. Then you mail the picture to them.


I'm pretty sure it was because the Vikings never brought back the ugly women.


Hey!  X-ray diffraction crystallography is a legitimate hobby.


OMFG!  Too soon!  Toooooo soooooooon :D


It's not you, it's Reddit.


I wasn't aware that making fun of transsexuals was funny


Just pop a chubby and you can regain the power of the situation.


The holocaust was bad.


Probably got brownface.


What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her?

Rearrange the furniture, and if she was really bad they'd stick a plunger in the toilet.


"WUXTRY, WUXTRY! MEN IN WASHINGTON TARGET PERSIA'S ATOM SMASHING ENDEAVORS WITH TRANSMISSIBLE INFECTION OF CALCULATING MACHINES!"


You are not in my bath tub.

Edit: haters gonna hate.


"If by 'action', you mean 'the puss'" is one of the best phrases I've read on Reddit.


You do know you're on Reddit right? And a majority female subreddit? This is basically Tumblr.. but on Reddit.

SJW is strong in this sub.


that's just sad. her desperation has made me flaccid.


Douchebag cop has no legal right to detain him (the ticket can be mailed) and purposefully moved his foot under the wheel. But a ferrari is an expensive car, and reddit hates rich people just a little more than they hate cops.


definitely her over lana... she's into the freaky shit


When she picks up the plunger, she will have my permission to die.


It would probably be "Mami"


Being nice accomplishes nothing.


more like a lil biiiitch


Why, so you can whack it Jackoff?


And apparently lots of attractive women in my area want to meet me!


This comment is to signify I have upvoted the parent comment.


If he did any better, he would lose his virginity, and lose the title of reddit's lead anything.


Omg lyk dis f u cry evry tym


REAL hackers use the arrow keys and TAB.


Tip: He is not a criminal.

edit:

Blow me stupid fucks, I will bet $100 for every downmod that nothing ever happens.

Circle jerk dipshit morons.


I like my women like I like my WinRar.

Paid for.


Not really. It stands as the gay CEO's preference.


And hey, free dinner!


The finish wasn't that difficult compared to the placement of that pass.


Inertia. Firefox used to be really high, but lots of people looking for a light browser moved to Chrome. I know quite a few people who've moved back after Chrome has become more bloaty (and Firefox lighter), so we'll see if Firefox starts to increase in popularity again.


**YES OKAY FINE REDDIT, 72 DOWNVOTES. I GET IT. DO I NOT GET ANY FUCKING MERCY?**


Mikey Gwarson is your average 9 to 5 office worker until one day...he trips and falls into a magic portal that sends him back to...HIGH SCHOOL. *cue upbeat trailer music*


Human decency, I guess?


I hate every single team in the playoffs... I'm still watching it T_T


He fired Punk on his wedding day. He hasn't changed.


Call him and say you love him for that. DO IT.


I also like the part where [your mother](/spoiler) sits down on [my engorged member](/spoiler).


Can people not hear the fucking trash that comes out of their mouths?

I desperately want to verbally destroy the people quoted in this thread.


Yeah, a pass that travels 40 yards while staying just out of reach of half the opposing outfield team... Nothing special there.


Hugging your bra after taking off your eyes


I reported you, just to make a point.


Pffft.  To hell with wooden playgrounds: we had welded steel, polished to frictionless surface and hotter than the surface of the sun.


No, I wasn't.  Bubble intact.

I am passive-aggressive.  I want other people to judge you.  Not me.  I accept you as you are.


Would you like me to knit you a scarf that won't bother you?


So you're admitting you're a heavy drug user? We got an addict here, guys!


welcome to costco. i love you.


Don't give out "be even more of a dirtbag" style tips!

Edit: bunch of sour puss coffee sucking whiney butts. It's a douche move because one person doing that at peak rush time with a venti cup to fill up at the milk bar drains the milk and screws everybody behind them because the staff is already slammed and behind. Worked at one of those places for a couple of years. Now, down vote away!


"disables cookies"

dude i wish my school doubled as a web browser...


This implies he knows now. He still said nothing.

It's not fair. But trying to start a witch hunt like this isn't fair either.

And please reply to the comments you want to comment on - not on your own posting.


Holy shit. That's serial rapist killer material right there.


Not MY upper inner thighs thanks very much.


My cousin recently just had a kid, making me the last of "my generation " of the family to be single and childless. I joked to my mom that the pressures on me now and she tried to assuage that by telling me "there's no pressure, just realize having kids is the greatest thing you'll ever do and will finally give your life meaning and purpose ". Yup, no pressure


Careful of the wording. "In favor" could be fairly selective.

For instance, deep down I don't really care. I'd be part of the 80%, depending on how you count.


As a 235 6'9" boyfriend I too approve this message.


...you dont know shit about bw korea and even the foreign scene. doing school first means you cannot compete with the younger kids who only focus on SC. idiot.


>And now I've taken so long to write this wall of text that no one will see it.

I saw the *shit* out of it. Thank you.

>To make use of calcium your body also needs either vitamin D or lactose.

Are you saying that you don't need vitamin D in your diet if you get enough lactose?


the only scar I'd leave you is from the heavy suction mark I'd give on your left and right tits.


Thank you! And yes, he was a brilliant father. Sadly he died a few years ago in a helicopter accident. At least he died doing what he loved :) my hero.


You're going to compare being physically incapable of walking to having vision that's correctable with a few hundred dollars worth of glasses?

If I saw somebody walking around with a sweet set of bionic legs and they let me have a go on them maybe I could see that comparison, but come on, you just need glasses, it's nowhere near the same thing.


This is how house fires start.


I'm sorry but are you an idiot? Can't figure out time zones?
/facepalm


or you have a son with a really small weiner


both are unfunny and unoriginal... enjoy your downvote


The puppy says "you can't teach an old dog new tricks."

The old dog replies "only a pup thinks they are new tricks."


By "admin" of the subreddit, she means the creator of the sub, who controls the mod list and cannot be removed by any other moderator.

She is upset about me, and my subreddit, /r/lds, where she frequently violates the rules.


And 4chan is the guy who shoots up the school?


That's why Rand loved this country.. because it was the closest to her views...

How could anyone who has looked at her work seriously not understand that?


Glad to hear he fahn le got one.


I upvoted andrewsmith1986 when he was at 0.


time to masturbate with my penis,if you know what i mean.

EDIT: now,my highest rated comment is about masturbating to Facebook pictures. thanks!


Hey it's this comment again.

Seriously who cares i've never seen it.


They might not, but I'm shy and I don't really like people to notice me. I just wish the things were never invented.


You wouldn't give cigarettes to children, so why would you give ice cream to a fat person? Do you *want* them to die younger?


Yeah it probably would, but then he'd be fat and would need to take another year off filming anything else...

So by doing it this way he was still getting paid for being the movies actor, and could go straight on to something else when he was done if he so wished.


haha I watched the vid too


He can run faster scared than they can run angry


You thinking it doesn't is just precious.


the last pizza delivery guy

Edit: wow, gold. thank you stranger!


I'm sad that this picture exists.

Opportunistic exploitation by some random "celebrity" under the guise of charity I'm guessing. That's the part that makes me fucking sick. Being paraded around as some sort of spectacle of patriotic sacrifice...


The authentic American experience.


A foot in terms of penis length. It makes sense with the whole "when you're older" comment.

EDIT: Seriously? Is this subreddit that immature that I get 62 downvotes for asking a simple question? I haven't been here before so I didn't know about the 'foot fetish' theory... But I know I certainly won't be coming back.


Haven't been the same for quite a while now,  I haven't been performing as well as I have been before,  honestly I stopped caring due to most of the bs we as representatives have to deal with not with customers but with the higher ups.


As a guy, I know that I'm probably going to be an immature, visually stimulated perv throughout my life.  However, a girl that can roast like that would make me laugh and get her point across, heck she'll even distract from what I'm looking at.


Bro you came this far. Got to catch em all.


I honestly can't say that I have much sympathy for convicted criminals.


I'm sure that was very difficult for you. &#3232;\_&#3232;


and can keep making accounts and accounts until i die


This is actually really funny


ped·ant
   /ˈpɛdnt/
–noun
1. a person who makes an excessive or inappropriate display of learning.
2. a person who overemphasizes rules or minor details.
3. a person who adheres rigidly to book knowledge without regard to common sense.

tl;dr Get a real job.


I love how you traced one, said 'fuck it', and just put boxes around the others.


Yea, he was definitely being idiotic, but...he's rampage jackson and that's who he is...?


Wrong. My kids will have laser guns.


Really? Arcane's great with an arcane build and temporal flux and the best for kiting is lightning. L2P


*Everything gets shot in Chicago*...


Stupid woman. There's a code among men -- no vandalizing another man's car, no matter what.


Sometimes this can be better than an orgasm.


its not really that funny, couple of jokes here and there


Orale guey im all Mutant now


"I think we stopped shitting through our dickholes to minimize crap-stank."

I win?


looks like that game played you


Ahh, so popularity = correct.

Not the most ethical are you?


Well, not if you're sponsored.


For booing at Marta on every touch.


Typical government fuckup.  Your boss sounds like a class act.


I don't think you know who quickshot is


Blah blah blah blah blah gangbang.


get mad kid, defending basic hygiene like a typical reddit white knight just shows how  beta and whipped you is be.

fyi DIDN'T READ LOL


> Canadian here. **I'm sorry**

Things check out.


> This man has BALLS OF STEEL!!!

Or more likely not enough brains. He didnt get a grasp of what he was doing and was toyed all the way.

To end in Putin grasp like he did, and finish his life helping one autocratic regime repress and kill its dissidents and conduct hybrid warfare in Europe with great contribution of spying and propaganda, it is truly pathetic.


I largely suspect that the type of person who enjoys doing this is also the type of person who enjoys hearing you get pissed off.


I really think you're midfield and wing backs can be got at a lot.

I think Coq has had a good few games but a holding midfielder is not the way to player against our attack as shown by how much Matic got pulled apart for Chelsea.


Next week: five cakes randomly show up at the same concert. Reddit revealed as online gathering place for terrorist masterminds.


wow i didn't say i found it today....


Nice try, her brother.


Israel commits genocide? Oh Reddit... You funny!


After a wax, you could just announce it on reddit, or put a sign in your window, or just contact any male friend, and someone will be happy to shag you. Men are consistent and generous like that.


That was the point...smh... gotta love you higher than thou redditors. Here's a smiley for you :)


You should have been a gentleman and asked if she needed a hand.


Because joking about rape is funny? Normalizing sexual assault isn't cool.


They said I could be anything.


that's her understanding of who BSC is because that's how i explained it to  her.


I propose... Friday, December 21, 2012.


he said stupidest, not most comfortable...dumb low IQ guy.


This pickup line sucks for me because I'm a Cancer.

My mom used to tell me I was a Cancer in more ways than one.


and the fact that you're an asshole is also pretty telling.


You are free to do that, just as you are free to cheat at solitaire, or to eat your own faeces. I recommend you try to have some dignity, though.


It's not sick.  Just pretend that you're Chinese.  Problem solved.

EDIT:  OMG!  Okay, okay, I'm sorry.  How about just pretending that you're in a Chinese restaurant?


On another note, why ya gotta be bringin up old shit?


I cannot express my love for you


I'm pretty hungry myself, I might be Lenin you a hand with that.


It's really not. When you think of the clit you're thinking of it when a woman who has her legs up in the air and spread. That is a completely different view than most people are thinking of.


We're no longer in a position to stop them.


I'm sorry, that is some of the weirdiest shit I have ever read/heard of. You couldn't write that kind if bullshit you worked for Jerry Springer! I'm at a loss for words.


This is the correctiest.


being downvoted by a bunch os idios its fine by me :)


That was some Legend of Zelda shit


This should be the top comment. I think it's normal for liberals to freak out when something has to capacity to injure them due to their own ignorance.


> "But you can't see it, how do you know its really clean?"

My secret terror.


I'm sorry. Could you re-write that in English?


Don't ever use the phrase "hitting up" and "tip of my penis" in the same sentence again.


it's okay. I'll take care of you.. i'd fuck you so hard... it's okay


Plus then they accuse you of only doing it for the photo op.


No. I will not be bullied by you or your words. This is america,
do you know what that means? It mean's that the majority rules and we are winning so deal with it or move to china they hate Jesus almost as much as you.
*Spelling and such


I was expecting a threesome to commence. Very disappointed OP.


>Since /r/ShitRedditSays is invading this thread to defend the blackmailers, I'm going to offer my opinion, even though I'm coming here from /r/SubredditDrama.

'double-standard', 'cognitive dissonance', 'hypocrisy'.  There are lots of ways of describing the idiocy of that statement and all its blissfully unaware upvoters.


This explains the Florida Legislature.


America has the most developed and diverse culture in the world, and also the most prominent. Get out of here with this "lol murica has no cultur" bs

EDIT: OGOD the hivemind's ignorance has spoken.


I'll make sure Jimi Hendrix never works in this town again!


can i have some karma pls


So its cool when mods of /r/askreddit does this, but when /r/lgbt mods take a stance, its suddenly the WORST THING EVER


Instead of just learning how to consume them.


Logged in just to up vote you

EDIT: TIL: to stay logged off and shut the fuck up


Yeah, your friend huh??


They usually go together.


"Bitch, remind me how you not Jafar."


I did not use a program. The picture I originally had was a full rectangular picture, but I only crafted his face and left out the background. Also took me quite a few hours.


holy shit....um....I have no clue!


Yes he did. Assuming is not a confirmation.


I feel like I've just help shape history.