You... You know my pain. Staring down at the box there was always the "could be red, could be green" section, the "probably some kind of brown" section, the "I wanted my sky to be purple anyway" section, and the distinguishable smattering of yellow and white. Solidarity.


Sort of like this shitpost is a waste of space?


Could you imagine all the "Guess what I'm doing while the world ends?" posts...


Maybe I don't nueter my dog because I don't want to *castrate my fucking dog in case he maybe might possibly escape one day.*


You live in New Jersey. This could have happened for any number of reasons, including driving a Hyundai.


How does it feel being a blood traitor?


Keep Calm and Carry On


I can't believe you are comparing Cambiasso to Arshavin.  Cambiasso is much better, and performed well for more than a year and a half at a high level during his career.

It's the football you play, not the team you are on.  Actually right now, even though i THINK Cambiasso is a year or two older, i would choose him over Arshavin in a heartbeat.


I think its somewhat genetic. From my total anecdotal evidence that a family in my town has twins in every generation.


You try way too hard, faggot.


Initiated by slapping someone across the face with the back of a glove.


It is a bedsit - this is how bedsits look.

Not everyone lives with their parents.


Dude. What color is the sky in your world?

Every single old line media outlet is in the bag for Obama.


My house got broken into once. After the police had left I noticed that something else was missing: a small, clear bag with a certain herb that I had stored on eye level on a shelf in the bathroom. Imagine how pissed off my cat was when she realised her catnip was missing. Would have loved to see the scumbag smoke it :)


And hasn't graduated from high school

Edit: Since Northwestern has no real rivals, I am not used to this level of hate. I apologize to those that I offended.


Alli are you ok?

You ok?

You ok alli?


Oh my goodness. That is not what I meant. I was saying some people did it specifically to avoid donating, not that not donating is bad in itself. Of course anything I say at this point is going to be taken poorly, so I can't say I'm surprised.


I love how she apparently kills you before you can finish your post.


Nope, he's actually perfectly healthy. Haters just wanna beleive anyone who has game and gets pussy, also has multiple STDs. Nope, its usually the promiscuis ones that are careful, as they have the most experience in dealing with multiple partners.


*BLRBLRBLRBLR*  **REVERSE REVERSE**

*BLRBLRBLRBLR*  **REVERSE REVERSE**


Equality and diversity represents an oxymoron; one pointing towards convergence, whilst the other divergence.


He must have overheard you talking about how much you like anal.


I got over 300 downvotes for saying that having a relationship with a child is unacceptable as an adult. lmao.


Then why haven't you? **WORK IT UNTIL THE BURN FEELS GOOD.**


I'm just saying things could be worse!


That Bill Murray really knows how to have a good time!


These exist:

http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2vze23/gamergatethemovie_red_band_trailer/comihel


Just like his shave.

*This post brought to you by Gillette^TM*


But it's for science!


Wait a minute, Hugo's scar is on the wrong side.


>  luckily nothing that like would happen in America

God damn my dyslexia... that made sense for a moment.

So... Kansas isn't part of the United States then?  I would think you were having a joke, but your misstatement has me guessing, unless you're pulling a long con.


*jots down notes furiously*


*sigh* I hate when reddit doesn't get my references.


upvoted for "sad office street fighter". I would play the shit out of that.


I flirted with ways to word it as efficiently as possible, and was concerned those too illiterate to click the link would take this message away, I hope you've been hooked on phonics since.


I'd like to add how sobering the last verse is when he asks Pac what his thoughts are about it and Kendrick gets no response from Pac, who was ultimately a victim of the social issues Kendrick has been hammering in this album.


Why give the girl 'the talk' when a simple rape to her frail pussy will solve your problems of both her sexual curiosity, and you being single?


i dont see a dick or balls hanging anywhere.

and the fucker lays eggs.


I really don't think he had involvement in the the Tate/LaBianca murders.  A bunch of people did those murders to impress him.  One should not be held criminally responsible for another's foolishness, in my opinion.


I had a long chat last night with my roommate, who's a therapist, about how she feels online relationships are "dangerous" because they prevent people from going outside to form "real connections" with people. I will show her this post to prove to her that people you know online are still people, and it's still meaningful.


I used to correct people, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


That's what the priest said to the alter boy.

Sorry....I'll just...I'll just leave


FFTL isn't screamo it's hardcore and he didn't join it when it was popular he was one of the reasons it got popular. And he didn't do dubstep when it was popular he is the reason it's popular.


you are a total fucking idiot, holy fuck man. you were in the running for a really grand darwin award


LOL RELEVANT USERNA[M]E GEM! le UPJEBS PLS!


Spends thousands on attractive girl in hopes to impress her.

MissTravelZoned.


So who is standing up for the taxpayer in all of this?


A good lesson to always pay attention when someone slows down to the speed limit for seemingly no reason.


That's the most upvotes without a single downvote I think I've ever seen &#3232;\_&#3232;


Jack of all trades, **master of none.**


has he seen Gobert tho?


* (⌐■_■)>⌐■-■
* (⌐■_■)
* He's already blind


This subreddit fucking sucks shit.


And good for Waka for putting progress before a paycheck, I'm sure he'll do a show in the area soon enough.


Maybe she just needs to lose some weight

EDIT: Woohoo... My most downvoted comment!

For future reference: was it not apparent that I'm joking, or was it just not funny?


You are what you eat...


I'd hold his hand so hard shit comes out.


Because an admin is one of the moderators. I'm not sure if that's true, that's just the common reason I've been given.


Am I the only one who doesn't think she's super hot?


I had forgotten about french toast sticks. Shopping list revised accordingly.


your comment combined with your username scares me a little.


Stan would make a hell of a politician. He is a glowing light of ambiguity.


Negative karma should unlock a dark skinned version of Reddit.


We all tell ourselves that, day after day.


I hope you get killed with cancer and fire.


Wait...did it stop at the photo???? Or....


That's awesome actually. I love cake, every time I fucked your mum she bakes me one


Thats fucking hilarious.


New Zealand dairy farmer here. It takes two people per milking. Each milking takes around 4 hours.


Still, gotta give him props for going with that conclusion first.

I know one guy who DID have a vasectomy fail (as in, grew back together) a couple years after the operation, he almost got divorced because he accused his wife of cheating before he checked with the doctor and found out his vasectomy had reversed.

Edited because I guess people didn't see the failure part.


WOW, KOKO THE GORILLA CAN USE A COMPUTER NOW?!!?!?


Well this blue out of proportion.


reddit is way too young to remember Miss West


Agreed. I can run for long distances, fast. I'm pretty quick witted in a bad situation and I've fired a gun or two in my day, but I have this pesky family I'd want to take care of. Trying to save my kids and wife would surely mean my demise.


You people still horking that misrepresentation out of your Fox-gullets, I see. You sure are infromed.

Very very few bills were aimed at compromise with the Senate. And like Reid was going to let a bunch of far-right extremists get these poison-pill bills through.


it's almost like they used to be actual people who fooled around with their boyfriends.


No. Your uterus is entirely your, no matter what goes in or comes out of it. You CAN tell him, but you should never be made to feel like you have to.


I can hear that sound in my mind right now, and it just made my scrotum shrivel up into my abdomen.


Your name wouldn't happen to be Josh would it?


You didn't just...buckle the seatbelt?


He can't help it. It's just a Y chromosomal trait to be super lame.


June 27 2012; the day that lasted 30 days.


Warren is a lying cunt and it is going to be hilarious to see her lose her senate race in Massachusetts, which is one of the most democratic-leaning states.

It would be a stretch to say that Warren is any better than Hitler.


"I am the fuckin mayor"

"Ok, checks out"

FTFY


Yes I think this place should be for different sexualities, but being a tranny isn't a sexuality, its a mental illness. Transgender had no place here.


Is it ok if you have your Christmas tree up in February? Asking for a friend.


Oh I better watch what I'm saying? What? Do you want to play like this? Do you really want to play with me like this? Just let me know now if you're serious or not because OH MAN! You've got some unfortunate things coming your way if you are.


So I've heard, my buddy and I attempted to go. But they never lettuce in.


Sona as well. The bitch has around a 70% win ratio on ARAM.


Invite a bunch of friends over and have a camera rolling for when they return home.


LOL HE MAD GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Fair enough, I'll take my artwork out of it. Just trying to keep a fair game. Besides the artwork, nothing else was an attack, just calling out what they did.


Gandalf must just be jaded from seeing so many men and dwarves age and die before his eyes.  "Oh look another dead dwarf, how tedious. Oh shit, he's holding a book!"


Being picky about something as simple, boring and bland as ketchup is like refusing to eat at Wendy's because McDonalds make better burgers.


I was in a laundromat doing my laundry when this chick walks and tells me that she is almost out and of gas needs to get home. I said sure... oh, but let me first see your gas gauge.  She was pissed, but left in search of a new victim.


Your ham-fisted attempt at trolling has fallen flat. Better luck next time.


Or, she could just throw her clothes on the floor and say "Fuck me right in the pussy." I think I could figure that out.


you keep drinking that champagne buddy. We're coming for you.


>secret library

Your school has secret libraries?


Katniss Everdeen they are not.


Her leadership ability doesn't matter at all. Let's comment on superfluous things like her voice and her looks.


I'm not sure how any of that kept you from taking her to a vet.  They can do abort and spay.


i had to read it three times before i looked at the username.


You sack the fuck up and do what 95% of guys currently in a relationship did. You walk up and start the conversation yourself.


I have long legs so i just simply lifted my legs over them one at a time. Best part? I didnt even finish last.


There are children with leukemia who make better drawings than this for christmas cards.


I don't think a wombat even has that many orifices.


you definitely sound like a fucking baby. what were they gonna do? beat the shit out of you? take the beating and sue them.


I'm typing this whilst pooping.


Then who was phone???


That was me in the Navy.


What the heck does paintable armor have to do with it?!? Is this a shameful plug of your own thing? Bad


That was his half brother, Half-Nelson Mandela.


3dank5me

bring on the downvotes.

this is why im top dawg former wwe champion and im swimming in a sea of little pups.


This makes her a realist.


FTFY: The 72 virgins.


*read this in Morbo's voice* "STRUCTURED FUN WILL BE HAD IN A TIMELY FASHION, REFRESHMENTS WILL NOT BE PROVIDED"


Yes the mean atheist telling christians that Mr Skydaddy isn't really is as bad as legislating to outlaw gay marriage. Won't anyone think of the christians?


**BRAVE level**: willing-to-give-up-one-and-only-chance-to-experience-any-amazing-feeling-in-the-world-to-settle-the-timeless-debate-about-which-hurts-worse-childbirth-or-getting-kicked-in-the-balls


There is always some stupid trog calling out this woman *every time this video is re-posted*. Of course he doesn't care about the man's disproportionate response. No, he's just gonna make it obvious why women don't like being around him.


Dude, you are security for the hotel, go knock on the fucking door and ask what the hell is going on!


Your being down voted because reddit loves /r/gonewild. For those down voting the guy; you ok with your daughters/moms tits on the internet?

I like encouraging the sluts too, but damn do you really believe its not trashy?


I am Canadian and the way you spelt colour offends me, but I apologize for being offended.


Haha funny meme except Jon Stewart is most definitely a d-bag.  You know the type, snotty, arrogant, condescending.


KINDA, I GUESS! I WAS THINKING MORE LIKE "JOAN OF ARC" OR SOMETHING, BUT THANKS FOR ANSWERING ANYWAY!


deadlifting only 225? is he a woman?


That only works with two dogs of opposite social classes.


I'm an american who's glad this guy has been arrested.  Piracy is bad, no matter how much entitled self-obsessed redditors insist they should be able to get everything for free.


I always thought he'd make a better Riddler.


I'm not to sure why if you are interested go search it up. The i7 has better single core performance and also has hyperthreading which creates another 4 virtual cores. Its pretty confusing stuff.


>The only thing he's guilty of?
>What?
> A felony.

Hahaha haha...  It's true.


lol, only amsterdam give weed legally, if you are caught in any other country with it (except spain for some odd reason) you are arrested. I lived in Europe for long enough to watch 3 of my friends go to jail for possession.


Now we gotta find a pansexual with an aluminum allergy...


Because pwnedpie is a peasant.I hate that guy


I think I speak for all redditors when I say

***damn***


No more so than drone strikes.


That I'm American? I have a birth certificate and a letter from St. Mary's school in Shrewsbury that says that I was "Author of the Month" in 3rd grade.


Mosley got shafted. His rookie year was the best ever for one of our LBers. Even overshadowed Ray Lewis's rookie year.


> DONG DONG DONG!

ftfy


r/thathappened...... you fucking noob


When he went through Customs he had to hand over his Rengar mechanics in exchange for being able to live in America.


Is it too much to ask for at least SOME sensitivity or at least NOT STARTING A FUCKING PUN THREAD AFTER HE SAID HIS PET WAS PUT DOWN?


That would go terribly. Everyone would be playing for both teams.


Yes because the "feminist enterprise" is real, and everyone with a vagina gets a free membership at birth.

Jesus fucking christ, take this paranoid insanity elsewhere. This is on par with the lunacy of the elders of zion.

You want MRA to be listened to? Stop claiming there is a "feminist enterprise" and other such insane drivel.


Approaching britical mass...


Hey you know im a Muslim and i find this offensive cuz the call of prayer time will tell all atound the area that it time to pray. What of someone in the area has bad hearing and instead hear ya song? Next time please dont do it. Amin


Obviously it was just an excuse to hit on the girl. Naive mother.


http://i.imgur.com/yMzF3Rt.gif

Work it, bro


Perhaps we should stop asking internet strangers to show us their tits.  That was unpleasant.


I'd wear this on a tshirt.


Oh, you mean everyone else in world aside from, Liberia, Burma and yourselves.
Thanks for the conversion.


Friday Friday gonna poop myself on Friday


Lol are you even in a fraternity.

Go to any SEC or hell any traditional fraternity.


"I swear, it's only mourning wood."


Don't any of you find it ironic that you are perpetrating the very thing that you are mad about?


My diploma cost at least 100,000,000% more to obtain than it did to print, assuming the ink cost about a nickel. Those profit margins are insane.


wtf. do a little research before buying animals ...


Just making sure he has no competition.


I try not to pay attention to her modeling... But as I was saying what form of proof would you like?


My third cousin twice removed loves Nickleback and Modern Warfare 3! Let's go spam his Facebook page to show how right we are!


I don't see any valid point in his post.


It's a law of the universe that anytime someone tells a food service employee that they're "going to take care of you later" it really means that  you're going to get run ragged and stiffed.


Was looking for the "paid vacation" parrot. Looks like you're it today.


Jesus: But I've been drinking!

Farisr9k: But all we had was water..

Jesus: ;)


Downvoted because I'm a genius teenager who sedates myself by combining two potentially neurotoxic compounds (alcohol and nitrous oxide) at the same time, depleting my body's vitamin B12 supply. Never mind the fact that my brain will continue developing for the next 6 years (until I'm about 25), imitating everyone else so I can fit in at a party is more important!


She was very excited until she realized all the bad things her boss said were about me and she had just repeated them to my face.  Then tears.  Thankfully this was 10 years ago and I have a very nice job now.


Pretty? She looks alright at best. Clearly the single redditors are already here...


my parents and siblings have put in their hard work and didn't ride anyones coat tails all their lives. I want my kids to work hard and earn their own way.


MRAs don't need my help finding reasons to hate women. They're doing "fine" on their own.


It's because people always forget the "Unless they take off their clothes" part.


What a dumb ass! Birds are not planes you dumb fuck! LOL!


My argument was that the death star should be round, tactically it provides a better view and a sphere is the most efficient use of materials.

He wanted a cube... that is just ridiculous.


Operation Northwoods, dumbass.

You really have never heard of a False Flag operation, have you?


I KNEW IT!!!!!!! I KNEW IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Edit: Just downvote, it's just a shitty, poorly told story.


ah, the long-con method


Lol.  You think women don't submit pics of other women onto that sub?


Dude, he just watched these two guys lay waste to ALL of his friends and now they're bantering about COPS? He was so far away from being able to process any of this. NOt only did he not have an opinion, he barely had a coherent thought.


nope...
I live in Belgium.
When i say America, i mean the continent. The only people who make that mistake are 8-year olds...


an African refugee turned Olympic doctor, at that. whoa.


I guess I just like watching faggots with dead ugly girlfriends cry, it just kinda makes my day :)


PITCHFORKS! GET YOUR PITCHFORKS!


Yeah, because she decided to seize her role in a ceremony, and make a spectacle out of it for personal social gain. She got exactly what she deserved.

...and "nasty" is irrelevant as this is the internet. I will call anyone anything I want, whore.


EBOLA PAEDO WITH FLU WILL KIDNAP YOUR CHILD AND GIVE IT HEROIN


Oh you. Who would've known that dropping one letter from the lamest joke in the world would be so funny?


Besides, launching Jennifer Aniston movies at Libya would probably constitute a crime against humanity.


You know what's sad?

That you think I care.


And *Red Bull* really appreciates you for posting this to reddit... Here, have a *Red Bull*


I think you spelled gayer wrong. Looks like you could fit four dicks in that mouth and still make out his speech when he asks you to cum.


I didn't think my post would get so much attention, I really like Star Trek, I hope this won't cause him any trouble.


Seriously? Are you honestly so anal about proper grammar that a joke is ruined for you because of some small grammatical error?


Around 1.5 inches, for those of you that don't want to read a penis article.


She impacted the outcome of the game before the techs came. The pace, the aggression, the physicality. All of that was part of Paul's frustration.


Ah, that makes a lot of sense. I didn't think about the fact that a lot of objects are made up of multiple parts, which would make it a lot more difficult to code for. Thank you for the detailed reply! Explained a lot for me.


Karma is relative.  You must be a nigger if you don't understand that.


That's when you call together everyone within earshot, and you declare to them "this is a special moment." Then you eat the sandwich and offer no explanation whatsoever.


My username doesn't lie. GO.


That's what I was going to suggest.
We are enemies now.


Yea, making a living doing what you love (elevating the role of women in gaming) is totally the sign of an opportunist who only sees money.


I'd like a milksteak boiled over hard.


I'd like to point out the "doesn't support" bits are not true. RP would rather those rights be left to the states to decide - not the federal government. RP has even stated he supports same sex marriage (equal rights).

The "racist newsletter" was not published by RP, but instead by a ghostwriter under his name.


More pirating it is.

I feel like the entertainment industry is run by five year olds.


Ladies and Gentlemen we have a winner! You just won the stupidest response award! Give him a round of applause everyone!


Yay. You'd make a great doctor. Thank you for answering me, all the way from England.


No fucking shit, Sherlock.


Never heard of him. Is he some kind of big shot?


Implying that we are not just doing our job.


Pauladeen feedback loop.


And I would argue that the unborn child that she is about to murder is being completely affected by her choice. It is most definitely a choice that is affecting another person.

And most businesses retain the right to refuse service to anyone. Most pharmacies are businesses, not public services. And the one in question appears to be privately owned.


It's less creepy if I say it in a ghetto voice so...it's a tall ass nigga who be creepin on ya while you sleep.


You guys honestly need to get a life. He's a fucking douchebag, there should be some sort of law that makes tampering with people's shit illegal. Not to mention Fallout 3 is fucking awful. Upvote my comment if you agree with me.

edit: why am i getting downvoted? fucking faggots, get a life and do something other than reddit


"We will be happier together....in this life or the next"


No, I think this is long dong silver.


Seth MacFarlane writes the show?


MOMMY WHAT DOES WANDOMWY FOWMATTED WOWDS MEAN!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!


YOLO

EDIT: My highest upvoted comment on Reddit is Yolo. I can cross that off my bucket list now.


That bit was far more insightful than Day9 could ever be.


The argument for a NSFL tag has been made so many times before.  This post, with a vague title, and a NSFW tag that easily enticed me with the idea of boobies, is another compelling reason to implement the tag.  I don't like watching people get seriously injured or die.


No, obviously you don't. The problem is that playing a 4vs5 from the very start shouldn't happen. What champions you pick is not the problem.


Put your account on the line.


I am reminded of Pam and Jim's wedding from The Office, where she tears her veil on an exposed nail and he cuts his tie in half with scissors.

*edit: I am extremely sorry if this was a spoiler. I took it for granted that this happened long enough ago that people had heard about it at some point. Apologies again.*


TIL that SEALs are Green Berets.


Don't forget we Canadians.  We have to live with Quebec constantly complaining about government policies and periodically threatening to leave the country.  At least for British and Americans you don't have a mini-France within your own borders.

That said, the actual people in Quebec are mostly pretty nice.  Their politicians are assholes though.


lol no, but tell yourself that to feel better about it.


There is a term for this in French which translates to "The call of the void"


I don't agree with you, neither do most sociologists, and I don't think I'm going to convince you otherwise. Have a nice day.


"How did you handle your last company going bankrupt and putting you out of work for six months?"

"Well, I managed to only die a little bit inside."


I've never seen this Mojangler before

edit:  I'm sorry for my ignorance, but please don't just mindlessly hop on the downvote train.  Come on reddit, you're better than this.  :C


You can't just repeat what the other guy said.


Were you also kidding about $9/hr being decent pay? TSA agent or not, that's less than minimum wage was 50 years ago (including inflation of course).


That one was surprisingly poignant. You basically demolished the value of the original quote.


I wouldn't have sent it if I didn't think it was funny.


you just *know* it's going to be you.


I think it's a shitty insult just because askren wants in and everyone who watches the sport wants to see askren fight in the UFC but dana wont sign because reasons.


>"Just some DEEDEEDEE who was in charge of that decision"


Wasn't BM. No structures left (which I think caught Ret off-guard) auto-ended the game. Chat said "was defeated" not "has left the game."


Thankfully in the USA the Supreme Court ruled searching with thermal cameras is illegal :)


You shouldn't care about him but you not knowing him is kinda embarrassing.


I thought he was gonna draw a dick on his shirt or something :/ I'm much happier with the actual outcome


See, to me that sounds like a power trip.


Like a monkey or something trying to assert territorial dominance.


Lol poor atheists, I feel bad for them. But some day they will understand.


Is your friend Butters?


> good job, milf

ftfy


Sometimes. I used conditioner once, and it was *glorious*.


"tl;dr I'm a pedophile"


In that case, I hope to never get over it.


The amount of downvotes on your comment clearly shows how people treat the karma system like a like and dislike button instead of a way to clear out spam.


Give it to the rookie who saved the game.


I got a flora hat, nothing wrong with it, but shoes are much louder, and my floral is black and white. Colored floral is only for people with double x's.


Maybe I'm ovaltining wrong. I never knew I had to Dink it.


Suck my dick. We make bank.


BAKE IT AT 350 UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN


op makes 200 coppies. sells 2. profit? nope, arrow to the knee! HAHAHAHAHA


You made me leave this thread. Congratulations.


Saying you learned more about chemistry from visiting a bomb website than from your school from CHEMISTRY teachers is ludicrous.

If I visit a whorehouse and learn more about women's studies than I did anywhere else then not only do I have no actual knowledge of women, I have some pretty skewed views on what i think women are for.

EDIT: spelling fail


My bad. I didn't watch it all the way. So now I wonder why he thought that horrible careless piece of defending is a skill.


Then he can use the phone in the house to call for help! Brilliant!


Wow, fuck you. Fucking faggots everywhere on reddit.


If it makes you feel better, I'm a girl who used to frequent those sites. My friend and I would often get guys to masturbate on cam to us, but we always said ours was broken.

Not because we were a pair of creepy old men, but because we were two 13 year old girls claiming to be a 19 year old girl. So, you know, it may not have always been creepy dudes.


If it took your family "a couple generations" to figure out how to cook some fucking roast potatoes then I'm surprised you're even evolved enough to be able to learn a written language


I shave with a butane torch.

You are all weak.


we all know why you chose a hug as opposed to a kiss.


Broncos fans "expect to win" what a douchebag, bandwagon statement.


> As a gay man

Do us all a favour and  kill yourself like this dude did


GOD IS REAL BECAUSE FUCK YOU


I disagree. He's an average punk WR with an attitude problem. No way Ozzie or Harbs are looking his way.


There is only one possible recourse:

Wonderwall. Acoustic, through a microphone, with singing.


Maybe because you said "fuck you" to them. You're 16 now, you should learn how to function a bit more adult-like


"An so called.." she's gonna think were all slow. Now we have no chance!!


iOS eh? Looks like trash. Good thing they're not even close to hitting their number.


Wow. You actually bothered to type that. I have to give you points for sort of making it a question. Kinda.
IT'S RAININ SIDEWAYS!!!


That whole "shitlord" "glorious shitlord" "keep shitlording" "shitladies" is getting to a point where its embarrassing. Its the whole "you glorious bastard" and "narwal bacon" all over again.


I'd do 5 years for $5 million, plus a $1million dollar bonus for any time I get raped, and $250,000 and up for severe beatings.


Oh yeah I'm just expanding.


Not sure why but when I looked at the picture I got the distinct impression that this was on display at a funeral home. Sorry about your friend.


God, I hope I die before my standards fall that low. Terrifies me.


I guess OP's wife shouldn't have.. Guten this rug.


It may not be appropriate to comment.... but I found your "straight shooting reavers/non-retarded dragoons" remark to be abnormally tasteful. I would say "lol" but it's still not a laugh-worthy mood.


>We had a girl we will Tonya

One does not simply Tonya.


there not going to risk their heaven for your faggitry.


JILL! JILL! JILL! JILL! JILL!


He's going to the ground. His head is going to drop. Stafford lifted himself into the air before contact was made. Barrington wrapped up around the upper things and finished the tackle without lifting Stafford up. That tackle is damn near text book.

I hope the defense pitches in and pays for that tackle.


They should have a designated quickie stall, but then you'd see some asshole in there who's clearly not having a quickie and he'd be all "It was the only one available!" and you'd say "Why must you trample on our rights? You could have used any stall. We can only fit in this one."


Why?  They are the worst team in the league


Because you're responding to a neckbeard who's in it for the lulz.


totally arbitrary judgement. where do you draw the line?


That song is the worst thing to happen to Africa since apartheid.

Edit: Fuck I wish I had remembered to switch to my main account before I posted this comment. It's about ten times the karma I've gotten for any other comment I have ever made!


because im proud of the chick and wanted to show her off but usually my posts get downvoted to hell so I said ah wtf I dont care im posting it. And then proceeded to think out loud in the title


TIL that the vomit of Englishmen tatses delicious.


Well if no One had a Gun in the First Place you wouldn't have to protect Yourself.

Edit: WOW. I have never been downvoted that much and I'm actually pretty upset about it. I used to live in the US, I like it there - but I just can't understand the gun thing. [Statistics speak for themselves](http://rt.com/usa/news/us-germany-85-shots-022/)


Maybe she was on her way to take her citizenship test and was freaking out about it.


How does that make any fucking sense? Moron.


WhyNona, Son of Boromir.


do they have nukes? bc if he gets pissed off enough, he possibly, maybe, could use them.


Right now your upvote to downvote ratio is 9:2.  2 = 1 + 1.  9/11.  Nicolas Caged.


Please. If Baltimore had any real rivals, you'd be cheering for their injuries.


> music

I have always wondered about people who put music on during sex...  do you do it to beat?

If so, what happens when a song comes on with 7/8 time?


Agreed. Freddie Mercury also died of AIDS. What a great role model!


> theorning

What the fuck is this? Is it a place?


Your mother must be proud.


What if everything else is great but the sex sucks?


Boo fuckin hoo bitchass


I'm guessing he has to plank across the toilet....


I'm not trying at all, I'm hilarious.


Would it interest you to know that, for cold-blooded animals, it is common practice to simply freeze them to reduce nervous system activity rather than use anesthesia?


He made damn near all of them tonight.


In the 80's, stand-up comics were a nomadic people, following the seasonal cocaine migrations.


no no no, this is off topic you liberal piece of shit ( no I'm not kidding ) if you are diagnosed with mental illness or are reliant on psycho active drugs you can't get a firearm. so quit being such a cunty mc cunt bagger


Lithuania and Austria seemed to take similar approaches and honestly had the nicest ones there.


Good show. Anyone continuing the show is a fucking hack and should be downvoted.


Me and my husband couldn't get rid of our shit eating grins during our vows. Supposed to be a sweet solemn moment and we're standing up there with huge idiot grins on our faces. Happiest day of my life.


Not that bad? Not that bad?!!!!? You serious? Wow. Could it get worse? Where the hell am I? Who are you people?


What do you call an Italian with no hands?  A mute


I laughed harder than i should've at this


I would prefer to ask him if he would fuck a sheep if he was a sheep. Then cancel the interview after castigating him for his bestiality fetish.


You are supposed to lock your knees when squatting though.  I don't think you know what you're talking about.


My cousin had lived somewhere in Asia up until he was 5 or something, so he had never encountered a black person before. When he moved back to the States and met one, he was in the grocery store with my aunt. He pointed to the black man and said "mom....is that man a shadow?"

Luckily the man thought it was hilarious and just talked with him.


No reason to get upset there little guy I'm just letting you know it makes no sense for this guy to 'win a meme' that he copied from another guy

Edit


Here is the original "Kevin" post for the uninformed.

http://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/cgbhkwp


I used to guess the game because of the loading screen, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I disagree, the story was fairly straightforward and almost plain.


You are fucking stupid if you believe this, besides ex6tenz wasn't at bottom, apEX was, so do you want apEX out of Titan as well?

You have no clue how much of a difference a good IGL like ex6tenz does.


Risky click after reading username.


MOMMMY LWOOK AT DA CUTE BABBY ON LEFT AND DA FWAGGOT ON WIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Dad: "You could have killed yourself! Come here so I can kill you!"


that is because you have a goddamn cunty little mutt I'm sure. raise your bitch right, boy.


Those are mosquitos? That made it a lot more terrifying.


Yeah, Joe will get his ass handed to him again.


Why?! I'm sure his mum is a very nice person!


fukin fake and gay. u need 2 go die harder faggit.

**2 bad OPs dog didnt die. dogs r fukin stupid. cats 4 life !!!! upvote and reply with a comment sayin "this' if you agree :-D**


The cashiers aren't the only perpetrators here. We've been victims of unwanted stupid comments as well. "Oh, is it not scanning? That means it's free, right? *Right*?! HAHAHAHAHA".


cause green day and coldplay suck. Thats your problem right there.

edit: Saying coldplay sucks might be my most down voted comment ever.


As soon as you notice a breakout (of prison), change who you're abetting.


Bah, just close the door and open it again, your pots will reappear. No biggie.


It's an obscure letter, you've probably never heard of it


*woosh*

Edit: *woosh*


I agree, also that top you are wearing really sets off your eyes.


Yeah, I guess the sight of a woman's "pooper" brings out the embarrassed five year old in everyone who has never actually touched one. Inevitable poo jokes ensue. Excuse me while I walk off this stitch in my side.


Found this https://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2ryla3/truck_drivers_of_reddit_what_city_or_town_do_you/


sorry, but he had Facebook in grade 6??


Now you know everybody would be singing to that.


It's a bird. It's a step above a rodent.


as a dude with super long hair, i can confirm this. and i can also confirm that the feeling of pulling out a super long hair from your butt in the shower feels *absolutely fucking fantastic*


So,  do the cops also charge the guy on the bike?  He was lane splitting,  right?


But ahead of the pack if you're pimpin' or dealin'


That's true

My statement is still true as well


I was with you until glee man

edit: great my highest comment is how I act like a girl


DADDY WAT DID DA WEDDIT SAYD ABOOT DA INDIAN JONES???????????? MY BRODER HAD DA THREESOME WIT MY MOMMY N DADDY CAWSE HE WAS SCARE OF DA THUNDASTORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LE GOO GA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Arguably still growing?


what? no. terrible point. not even close.


Yeah, but they had to meet Jayden too.


**You're** desperate for the season to start. The whole system's out of order. You want the truth? You can't handle it, bub.

Hastla la vistar.


Just like your Mom's vagina.


I was unaware it was already posted, but it doesn't matter what I say now since this has become a repost. Being the apologetic man that I am, I'm [sorry](http://i.imgur.com/bAO7t.jpg).


I can't be the only one who does this all the time:

* Try to put the plug in one way.
* It doesn't fit; try the other way.
* I'm a friggin' retard; I had it right the first time.


Wow what an amazingly insightful comment.  /s


N-word freaking people out... geez, tell me about it.


The only people that downvoted you are people just like AgentVanillaGorilla. I agree, that is fuckin pathetic. Get a life...


Q: With a dick that small, how do you keep the condoms from falling off?

A: Rubber bands.

http://i.imgur.com/xTmhfzd.jpg


Up vote for calling me out!


Highschool, where the rules are made up and your education doesn't matter!


Better gather a downvoting brigade to support my argument. Oh wait, that's you faggots..


>Think about how great it would be to have a personal glimpse of Washington like that.... Then we could also find out hes was a supa freak nasty like Napoleon.

Think of it from the other side:  would you want your texts, emails, and other messages preserved and made publicly available by the Library of Congress? Probably not.


Believing that all Christians are sexist, racist and homophobic is so much more mature.


I know a guy who loves everybody when he is drunk. It is actually really annoying. He'll start hanging off you, telling you why he loves you and all that. He goes around - doesn't matter who it is. He loves everybody.


Sure. Your statement about the 11 year old was "She's absolutely beautiful". Usually, when people talk about children, they don't use words that are simultaneously used for people they are sexually attracted to.


You must be a woman. I cringed the fuck out of that.


I meant to say "around 36 drinks". Plus more the next day.


"Sounds like a....

*puts on sunglasses*

...hot date!"

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!


I can't say that comparing Iranian cities to American cities is the right thing to do since Iranian cities don't have suburban areas. I'm not clear on what exactly defines "wider metropolitan area" of any Iranian metropolitan area.


I don't think Simon's a piece of shit, I just think he's British.

If you watch British television, all they ever do is take the piss out of one another, with clever wit and honesty.


^ This collection of words; it is stupid.


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


ERXERCTLER, CLERLERS WERMAHN.


i actually do and i think loren does as well. That was a note from the network, but I do think if dan played a boy, it would have also resonated with awkward male adolescents in the same way Tina has become an icon for awkward teen girls


Wrong. It could be 3i, but not -3


I was there too, it's weird to see thousands of people startle-jump in unison.  Many snacks and beverages were lost in that instant.  Never forget.


I'm sorry, I thought reddit was a friendly community.
Maybe just because you /fitness/ guys are so 'alpha' you can rip on anyone asking for help.


White people are so bad at dancing that they just fight each other at concerts


Why would I delete? The butthurt is funny! Look at you all! Ha ha


RemindMe! 6/25/2045 3:47 pm
"OP IS KILL"


I call bullshit. Nodody dies a minute or two from falling out of their electric wheelchair.


Meanwhile Canada and Mexico are in the Friend Zone.


OP is a faggot.  4chan was kinda cool for bored something awful forum members to look at when SA didnt have much going on...then it kinda became like reddit and digg..just meh.
SA and body builder forums are where it's at.  you can save all your shoop da woops for 14 year old summer vacation fags.


Hold the phone....people wipe while still on the pot?


tattoos are gross and a sign you are from the lower level society, mmkay?


Showing relationship moments to Reddit is like showing appetisers to starving children.


HAHAHA YOUR REFERENCE IS FUNNY BECAUSE WE HATE THIS BAND HAHAHA


That was somewhat acute.


In no way was that pedantic. You fail


I was going to say Ole Miss, getting killed on the field since the civil war


Your taste in music is awful.


nicotine too.  I'd bet all three of them are used more widely than pot.


They already did. This was 8 years ago..... take off your tinfoil hat, the NFL would want no team in turmoil if it could be that way.

OMG guys stop acting like the NFL is out to get the Patriots lmfao


Reddit, the place where circumsision is wrong but being sterilised against your will is perfectly acceptable!


You just contradicted yourself. I award you no upvotes.


shame on you for exposing your peers to something they wouldnt see anywhere else


They were also on reddit... which happens to have over a million active users. Not even calculating in the shit ton of lurkers. Reddit had a much larger effect on making rage faces popular than Tumblr did.


> But if you sleep with your sister......

But my sister is technically my first cousin,  so I should be able to reproduce with her without any negative side effects.


I bet Ronaldo never apologizes. He isn't classy like that. s/


And when his first name is Igor.

His not-fucking-around level is off the not-fucking-around-o-meter scale.


Wow you sound like a real asshole.  No surprise I guess.


Obama was raised by a single parent.


It's called lightening the mood, get the sand out of your cooch.


THANK YOU someone else gets how hot the Ewoks are. Theyre just little [fuckable bears](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/TlYaupCTzBY/maxresdefault.jpg)


I'd go further: it's the exact opposite of anti-semitism. I mean, if they wanted to avoid accusations of anti-semitism, they could have excluded the "expel the Jews" option entirely.

What Paradox has done just seems like they're trying *way* too hard to gain favor with ultra-zealous Jews.


thanks for clearing that up for me, it was a bloody mess


And assume the liability if they overuse the mini bar or trash the place?


Let's stick to questions about the movie


I'm not OP bud.

Edit:  Jesus Christ this website can be so immature sometimes. Keep the downvotes coming, I'm committed now.


Also, get screenshots of the facebook stuff before he deletes them.


1) We already do that. 2) We already do that. Lastly, we already do. Would you like us to take away peoples freedom so they are unable to do anything that you don't like??


That giant vein ruined my career.

Now that I'm getting old and fat it's harder to see and I expect to be hugely famous any day now.


Okay, but I get the feeling everyone on this thread hates me because of all the downvotes. Keep em coming, bitches! >=D


I love that after you scroll for a while you will see [this image](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2v3u5PckC1rsp7p8o1_1280.jpg) before the real thing.


Wait, she said she got it off the internet... I wonder... Is she a redditor?


thats just throwing it away


**post jack msg 4 op**

had to log in and downvote this.

also reported. check your reddiquite guildlines before u post next time.

also its a fake

cant wait for this link to be removed it is clearly a karma hor repost.


The Ultimate Hipster God


fuck you, you are bad and you should feel bad


Each of you owes me 100,000 Nazi scalps!

*Three days later*

Okay, we're square.


This is not how ovulation works.


VSHVVHSHVSHVSHVSHVHVHSHVSHVHS


Sorry not a potter reader or watcher


Well to be fair, he doesn't.


Damn! Fucked Up Again! My geography's all wrong, North South Carolina.


Worst episode of sesame street ever.


delicious freedom

ammmmerrica


So you can build a bed that defies gravity, but you can't delete images from imgur?


Or, yknow, she doesn't share your view of marriage and/or realizes she doesn't have to wear the ring constantly like some sort of slave.

Either that or she doesn't want anyone to recognize her ring and go all reddit creeper on her.


You don't like baked fruit? /r/LGBTrees would like a word with you.


Hmm I wonder if I can troll them anonymously over Skype for free?


I'm sure that would be a winner for this contest if it hadn't already been posted


Kind of sounds like a typical person defending their pirating of games and movies.


Isn't a fleshlight and a protein shaker the same thing?


They also come with a free beta invite, I bought 5 more this morning as an investment. Please don't hate me.


sounds like its something you've wanted to do, not actually done


Meh, enough to type 3 words.


Having a twin is crucial when you don't want to talk to a regrettable acquaintance. "Hey are you?" "Nope I'm his twin brother."


Oh was the flag pickup really that bad? If anything it should've offset. http://i.imgur.com/YR15nHDh.jpg Here's the still. Pettigrew had the guys facemask. Can't turn around when your head is in place. Dez, Yeah, shouldn't have been on the field. Win the game despite the calls. Bad calls against Dallas in the first half. Bad calls against detroit in the second. Get the fuck over it. WE WON.


I have often wondered how their bed sheets look after some rough sex.  Like a cheeto napkin.


They obviously let off the gas, for whatever reason. Let the Wild fans have it. The highlight of their team's history is the two 1st rd series wins against us.


But on the plus side, you could still have sex with dogs.


lol relax man. I do this with my 6 year old sometimes. he thinks its funny and nobody is getting hurt. stop taking stuff like this so seriously.


Haha, wow, even I didn't know that was possible! :D Tell her I say hi. =)

<3


FUCK OFF WITH THE DOWNVOTING, I WAS BAKED OUT OF MY GOD DAMN MIND AND I DIDN'T GET THE JOKE IN TIME


Americans say they will never forget 9 11. I would hope not, it's your fucking emergency number.


Saying a transgendered person is not a woman because of a lack of a uterus is not being disrespectful. It's dealing with cold, hard, real, facts. Not pretend facts that make your happy, hive-mind, GO REDDIT! lelelelelele, bacon narwhal, mind feel all warm and fuzzy.


Omg he just went in.


I lol'ed and don't even know what a Charizard is. I'ma guess it's some type of magic battling card or something. nice 1


Clearly he wasn't talking about the Holocaust.


Isn't it hypocritical to be using western technology then? If you really believe what you're saying you can always feel free to live off the land again, a choice I doubt you'd make.


Run through North Korea


It's not possible because you would need to change the input on the TV they were watching to like HDMI2 or which ever the Apple TV is plugged into.  Apple TV's don't have an HDMI thru-put like the google tv.


"oh god, oh god!!!! A pencil, that'll do!"


It also turns you into a freeloader taking advantage of sites that are trying to provide a good, free service.


Yes, puppies are excellent at drowning babies.


I see people vote kicking fags with 12k hp. I will be.


take some antibiotics


Maybe just a wee tad.  You guys aren't even good enough to use him. It's like giving a Lamborghini to your Alzheimer'sed-out great aunt.


Can confirm: am average male size.


Thanks for the spoiler, ass.

Edit: ITT: a bunch of assholes who would rather openly blurt out spoilers to rationalize an entire friendless childhood wasted in a basement reading comic books than to abide by the site-wide paradigm MARKING SPOILERS.

This is the sub for the Flash TV show, not the comic books, dumbfucks.


I'm not ashamed to say that my first thought was, "Well, *duh*! Poop!"


FFS you little girls get offended over the slighest remarks.


> You can't be legally retaliated against.

This is the important part.  If you report this, and she DOES find some stupid way to fire you, you can start an investigation saying it was retaliation.


I spend my week smiling and trying to be Positive, at the very least faking it. I save up all my complaining and unload it twice a week at my therapist, but apparently I am supposed to think about Sunny Happy Things *all the time*, even in therapy, and never ever think bad things.


I may Putin some effort too.


You only do that to databases that have billions and trillions of rows. It's not like you have to do that until you start to feel the processor screaming.

Disclaimer: Of course, this is different for every single scenario.


Weird way to check out books.


What can I say? I am an asshole.

But, I am an asshole who is always correct.


Crap, $2.13/hr!? If I ever go to America, I'll remember to tip a shit-tonne.

I left the customer service world last year and was earning close to $22/hr, which was minimum for my age here (21, Australia).


Are you pretending Big Dick Bickell was never a nickname?

The top post on /r/hockey re: it from a Vancouver fan

>I hear "Big Dick Bickell" around here a lot and I think that one is just dumb. It sounds like something a bunch of 14 year olds came up with because they thought it was hilarious like putting 69 in their hotmail address.

His hilarious point still stands, IMO.


That's not mean. That's justified.


that sounds like bullshit. its a view counter...


I'm in a long distance relationship. My fiancée shows me her boobs, sometimes. The wonders of technology.


I find that after a slew of insults, people stop saying stupid shit and actually think about what they write.


Thanks!  I think until incumbents feel that a pro-CISPA/PIPA/SOPA vote could threaten their seat, the attempts on internet censorship from Congress will not stop.


QTpie?  He isn't in that video.  He hasn't been seen since he retired from Dignitas. #SpookyScarySkeletons


Do this, but move the camera to another location. She will be able to tell where it is from the angle of the picture, and try to destroy it


They tend to have a reason for it, though.


that one just makes me sad.


fuck u it isn't funny it's wrong ash ketchum is a kid


When I first heard that, it was just a picture of a race car with the sound on continuous repeat and I nearly pissed myself laughing (I'd like to say I'm not so easily amused nowadays but who am I kidding? I watched nyan cat for about 15 minutes). Then it got remixed and associated with a frog somehow.


Bad advice. Carina is not a bad person, Mel should never know or she'll be crushed, op should talk to carina and get her to break up with Mel nicely and mediate the situation.

Edit: and ffs don't tell parents or other people or these girls will get seriously damaged.


My sister needs to read your post. When she had swine flu, her **husband** was downstairs watching Sports Center while she was up in bed nearing kidney failure. He seriously just left her up there puking all over herself for two days before I was able to get an ambulance there after not being able to get a hold of her.


You have obviously never raped a clown.


Not as much as I hate people using religion to justify them being assholes and shitty people.


awesome. i can work for perverted justice!


I used to work at a Steak & Shake. They did half-priced milkshakes from 2-4 pm. A car pulls up exactly at 2, the drive-thru operator greets them.

"Is it Happy Hour yet?"

"Yes sir it is."

(4 people in unison) "YAAAAAAAY!"


wow you guys are pussies.  stay the fuck out of the fast lane.


Protip: When going hippo watching, remember to bring along a large hill.


More like inexperienced under cover agent talks into the hidden microphone for all to hear! Bet the guy on the other side of the ear piece just asked how everything is going.


I know exactly every single thing you've done for the President. There's a reason you stand outside the office and I stand in it. Don't ever forget that.


Not everybody lives like you.


"Well, if I run the mile in about 9 minutes..."


I don't get it. But Zelda reference, I want to know


"Oh, hah, that? Yeah, that's my ex-wife. The ol' battle axe put up quite a fight."

At first you'll be a conversation starter, but over the years, he'll just start using you as a coat rack, probably. What a lovely afterlife.


It's funny because HotShoot was a semi-god the week before the finals (epic videos on frontpage) then people started to flame him again after voyboy bench.

EDIT: WTF downvoted so hard? I'm not HS fanboy, just saying how community changes...Didn't like this bench either. Voyboy is a great guy.


This is more realistic


I would think you would care about the fucking law.


At least Pitbull had some integrity and actually went to Alaska.


Why is 2 hours to get something running acceptable? Any flash game runs within 30 seconds.


We want to see that video.


Neither is driving sober, anybody could crash into you and kill you instantly.

That doesn't stop people from driving everyday though.


Breaking up any of the guys was fun because they are pretty jaded and have seen it all so it was a special moment when i could do it.


Guy with girl is not gay. The gender she was assigned at birth has no bearing


The leveling system is based around continuing your bloodline. So... most of it.
Dragon breeding sounds a little more refined, lol.


Do UKnians point out that when you add UK to certain combinations, you sometimes get "suck"? Or it's so normal that you don't notice these things anymore?

Case in point: the official UK youtube channel for nintendo 3DS is nintendo3DSuk

EDIT: Dammit! I was being serious, you downvoters! Now I'll never learn the truth!!!! DAMN YOU!!!!


An old decommissioned World of Warcraft European Sunstrider Server? Let me call my buddy up who's an expert in old decommissioned World of Warcraft European Sunstrider servers.


It wasn't worth it.  We should have just let them go.  The south has been a huge burden ever since.


Russian flesh-eating drug.


Is this like the women of reddit's way of getting back at the men who make stupid "I'd bang her" comments on every post with a girl in it?  Sorry, but it's just as dumb and annoying when you do it.


Our relationship is not all about me. I do the majority of the housework and make sure that his home life is as comfortable as possible. But ok.


Looks like he'd be still too busy laughing himself in a ditch over it.


Down voted by the fundies... Ouch. Have an upvote.


Nice Reddit, make it awkward by bringing up an Ex.


nope. They need to hire a transgender. not some CIS normal female


Yeah, I didn't even get to around to how much energy costs are.  This thing only runs on microbrewed beer.


I'm engaged. I don't leer, or even check out other women. It's a thing called "faithful." And all of this coming from someone with the word "nympho" in their name doesn't exactly change my thoughts. No disrespect intended, but just saying.


"What happened here officer?"

"Well he got shot 8 times in the face, I wasn't sure if he was dead, so we handcuffed him until you got here."

"You did good son."


S-S-S-S-suck m-m-my c-c-c-c-c-ock now y-you wh-wh-wh-whore


TIL Dan Radcliffe is 5'5"


You admit that you only know about it by "I've heard" then come in talking about "he's lucky to be alive" like you are an expert.


Always rub one out before taking her home


FWIW those folks pay more in property taxes than most redditors earn in a year.


Louis CK + Ron White Tour???


What's the difference between conservatives and WBC?

http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/davidbadash/_i_do_not_construe_homosexual_rights_as_human_rights_says_gop_human_rights_subcommittee_head


that... that's not what the 'f" stands for...

edit: thanks for the gold stranger!


Well, i guess you gonna have to keep hitting that virtual downvote then. That will certainly teach me.


Because of his warning I have to try it.


Well it is a sneaky strategy. And quite appalling to see what lengths homosexuals will go to in order to indoctrinate.


I never completed the last few CoD games because I always shoot Price in the head while he's giving me orders.


Ok, I'm done arguing with you. There's obviously no sense talking reason into someone like you.


Don't Rampart me, bro.


What if he awkwardly said that as a joke and you are experiencing some type of food poisoning or placebo effect. Wouldn't you look stupid.


It's funny because according to reddit, only women get mad at people over dreams.


No it would be boring as fuck. All these gimmicky bullshit episodes are terrible. Like the one where they were all clay and the one where they were a video game.


I got nothing to hide lol.


Nobody reply to this, it's perfect as is.


This is by far the most satisfying video stabilization I've ever seen.


MOMMYYY SAYD DAT DIS ID A BWAD REPONSE AND YOU SHUD FEEL BWAD GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


>perfect friends we were

DAMN YODA GET IT


This exactly.  WTF.

Get out


Yep, it really indicates that you have a pretty strong  relationship when it doesn't upset you that your S.O. constantly brings up the fact that you cry when you watch Nicholas Sparks movies.


So?

Taxpayers aren't going to pay for them. If they're medically necessary, then the mother can pay for it.


Ah, the ol' Reddit incest-a-roo


I prefer to have friends that don't make me baby sit them for 4 hours just so they don't drown in their own fucking juices because they are too stupid to control themselves. I you get so fucked up that you lose all bodily function, and you expect your friends to clean up your shit piss and vomit, you are a terrible friend.

downvote away, I will happily spend my karma on saying this.


im a medic, ptsd is real in our field and you should talk to someone. seeing and, in your case, hearing people in their worst moments can fuck with you psyche.


Sometimes I turn up my music if I'm losing in a bid to psyche out my opponent


How did you not get Emma Stoned


Yeah stop takin pics idiot and do something. I hope this guy gets stung in the eye from a wasp as karma.

Fuck u Nymeria.


>I said that I would always love him.

>You know what he said?

>"Good, because I was worried that you'd leave me when you got the news"

Fuck yeah.  You're both great people.


Maybe we can find the town it is in by the f/b timeline. I really need to know that this baby is o.k.


I ate at a fancy restaurant when I was a kid. I didn't like much on the menu, so I got something with all you can eat mashed potatoes. I finished my potatoes and asked for more. The waiter said, "Oh, it's not really all you can eat. We just say that." My mom complained until we got more potatoes.


>all i could think about was what i would do to get away from him if she died.

You disgusting little fucking pussy.  God forbid you try and... gee, I dunno... SAVE YOUR MOTHER'S LIFE?  You truly make me sick.


Cause then he would owe them 320 assessments in 2 days next time around! And no way his pay will be going up by a factor of 16.


You're glad that pigs are going to take your money so that you can get over a habit?
Why don't you just practice some self discipline, because no-one else is psyched about getting harassed by cops.


"Everytime I drive past a cemetery I'm sportin' a partial"


Trolling*

an*

Get a dictionary so you can dictate correctly formed thoughts and opinions.


I know.  That awkward moment when you want to say something about it, but wont because you hate drama. #EpicFail


Listen pal. The "CEO" built the computer shop from the ground up. He's already forgotten more than you will ever know. The person that has been called in for repair for the past 15 years is himself - not some mouthy kid on Reddit


"Walk with me, Turd."
"It's 'Ted,' sir."
"Don't correct me, boy."


Get the hell out of here. How do you even define a good movie?

Is a good movie one that is the most entertaining?

Is a good movie one that expresses its themes through the use of literary and cinematic techniques?

Is a good movie one that's "relevant to the human condition"?

You don't know what defines a good movie, you just know "it shouldn't be this".


I'm sorry you've been downvoted. I hadn't even thought of this. I'll mention it to her and see how she takes it. Thank you very much.


Murdoch provided tens of thousands of jobs, while your typical citizen does not. Sometimes, it really does trickle down my friends.


Nah, wearing a thong. Sometimes leaving a bit to the imagination is
"better."


Fair enough I guess, figured he would've moved on to a better team by now


Shit happens behind the wheel of 500+ hp so lets not be so quick to judge


I think this is my favourite edit i've seen on reddit so far.


Beeing loud and noisy with ads, bringing terrible games to tournaments. The true EG curse.


And that famous ["curvy" picture of her in a white bathing suit](http://images.sodahead.com/polls/0/0/3/6/0/7/2/6/5/2558718505_monroebeach.jpeg)? She was four months pregnant.


How so?  You can't anticipate someone making a great play like that.  But I have a feeling you're someone who won't listen to opposing opinions.  So yes, it was a terrible, awful, horrible decision.


They are the last line of defense.


Sure, kiddo.  If you say so.


No.  140 million *lost* power, but only 70 million are currently without power.


You're a fucking idiot.  Chael is an average ass fighter that will never ever fight for the championship again.  How you like those apples bitch?


Most elaborate cover story ever? I think so.


She also needs to see rhinoplasty surgeon


It's funny because the things he is saying actually do ring with some truth


Or, as I prefer to call it, batshit fucktardery. Literally no one claims women *should* be raped or deserve to be raped. I (and many others) claim that it is a very good idea to dress in a respectable manner both because it is safe and because it is, well, respectable.

What are they protesting? The fact that people think dressing decently is a good thing?


Dude, just eat peanut butter or something. High calorie food doesn't have to be junk food.


I'm pretty sure that's been discredited by, you know, science. Rape is about opportunistic reproduction, not about power, although it of course happens in situations of extreme power disparity. This in *no way* justifies rape, which is a horrific crime, but at least don't analyze it through a 1970's radical feminist lens.


You almost put your coccyx in crazy.


He got shot because he ran. If he didn't run it wouldn't of been a issue.


Yes! Tell that bitch how you really feel!!


Google said it was, and who am I to contradict Google?


Meditation.

The control over the power of their mind is incredible.


I have to admit, I would have laughed at the guy too. How exactly do you use these things? Do you plug in one with your modem then use another one where your computer is?


So he was overqualified


Please don't use retarded like that. :)


I love the internet so much right now.


You can't be a bigot against a majority person because minority people cannot systematically oppress a majority person for holding an opinion.


"He's been stuck in traffic since I was five..."


how long does it take a black women to take a shit?

nine months


Leave the Apple store out of this.


it's called speaking English


Even better: ass is fine, hole is fine, but if you try to say asshole, *they just bleep hole wtf*


You should be glad i rape this subreddit and not ur mummy armpit


the cleanest trailer you can imagine


That's not very PC, they're called Muslims you know.


You don't need to wipe when you got SWAG.


Bit of a flaw there, buddy. You probably pirates are the problem.


Considering that he is only making textposts he's only making comment karma and getting gold. Though I don't know the importance of link karma over comment karma and much rather prefer getting gilded...

I don't know what I wanted to say with this comment.

Edit: The irony is not lost on me that this is my most upvoted and gilded comment...


Ok people who upvoted this, I need an explanation. I get that it's a batman quote and all that but not only is it not funny, it's not creative and adds exactly nothing. I see comments like this and think *Oh joy another overused, unfunny quote*and ignore them. Who cares to explain what causes you to upvote comments like this when you see them.


So what's the problem?


Way to not call the cops, dumbass.


Shhhh, don't tell her


Your metric for amazingness must be really shit.


I don't understand. What does this mean?


"Normally"????

its these sorts of vague generalizations that make your rules so ridiculous.

If you want to ban people for trolling, go ahead...but don't ban people just for  linking TO your reddit, especially if its not malicious.

Are you seriously trying to address what happens OUTSIDE of your reddit?


Of course it's a stupid idea, I'm just pointing out that it's not as monumentally stupid as mandatory filters enabled on every computer to block all pornography, which is what the OP's title implies.


Obviously this will be downvoted to oblivion.


This is the only time in my life anyone will ever say that I was better than Woody Harrelson.  :D


Hey just so you know, there's a lot of people I know personally who will never watch your show again because you're a TSM hater. TSM is the most important thing on earth and you hate it. There's a lot of us who feel that way. Why would you sabotage yourself like that?


¿Donde, está, la biblioteca?


But still managed to masturbate


My grandpa told me if I didn't eat crusts I wouldn't be able to whistle.  I really wanted to whistle.


having **le** same issue, good to know I'm not **le** only one.


Now OP has to fly halfway around the world again.


He was getting antsy and it even got to a point where he kept looking over at his pack of cigarettes on his desk. The guy had a door to the outside in his office and I knew he wanted to smoke. I figured if he didn't go out and smoke the interview may have been rushed ruining my chances.


Well nobody's penis is the girth of a subway sub.


You did not HIT 6.18ghz and THAT'S A FACT.


he's like the old spice guy of video games. I dont use old spice but their ads are pretty great.


Why would you buy monitors for a guy that has already afforded to buy them once when there are plenty of poor PC master races that are suffering on prebuilt Dells that could be upgraded to glorious 60fps?


>at 18

>tired of waiting

Um. I think you win the award for most impatient person :/


Can't you just post the damn runes and strategy? It's like 200 words tops if you wrote it down..


I heard someone order a steak by saying "just walk it through a warm room before you bring it out. "


because the police made it political at their funeral.  If it was not political their would not be a damn press conferences and a large check.


"We can't still be friends after this, can we?"

"You bet your ass"


He is not a target by any means, do you believe everything you see on the internet and this guy has [far from proven his case](http://www.reddit.com/r/europe/comments/2vzac9/i_guess_this_issue_required_some_clarification/comgquz)


were they concerned because they thought you needed pointers?


You are a fucking asshole.


No, its hilarious today because I dont have twitter


who the fuck downvoted this comment?  wrathofshadows is correct.  whoever downvoted is a fagget!


Did this to my wife. She got very angry. Never again.

Edit: Logged in to discover my rekage. Touché /u/Rooonaldooo99


.....*kumiho*?

Oh god, you can't make this stuff up XD


> but no paint is thick enough to mask their disappointed frowns.

This is the funniest/saddest thing I've read all week


> Sumatra wasn't a british colony

And?

> the japanese invaded/occupied it during the second world war

You mean freed indonesia from dutch enslavement?

> and these british soldiers were transfered from elsewhere to the POW camps they established there.

You mean transfered from other asians lands they were enslaving, raping and oppressing...


Typing in strands so people can easily see this.


Keep dreaming, what else could he do? he got cut off by a fucking asshole that only pushes button, he wasnt going to fight about it but just dance and show he was "ok" with it


Oh shitty, you watercolour my heart.


well that makes the story less fun. you used the euphamism "left at the altar" to gain more attention to this post. don't lie.

that deserves a hearty downvote good sir


So basically what youre saying is that deaf people are jedi.


lol k the tournament not being cancelled had absolutely nothing to do with apex staff. nope. had nothing to do with apex at all. i didn't even see them at new venue. nope.

k bruh. let's track down the staff who were onsite, starting with nintendude, and tell them to fuck off for being solely responsible for everything bad and nothing good.


Just like in my dreams.


Really? People actually give a damn? People actually follow this sort of thing?


Thumbs up if you have a novelty account just for this occasion.


Definitely not singing for a below average pop-rock band.


my GF is extremely anxious and she talks about exactly what she wants before i order everything all together for her and me...now i understand why i get such hated looks from the waitress :/


Then post it somewhere else, or mourn like a regular person does.  He is implying that 'we all,' i.e. the e cig community, lost a brother in action today, some kind of pretentious bullshit.


Fun fact: Having a chick lick your _______ feels good.

EDIT: Apparently my statement was not as universal as I thought.

No I suppose a girl licking my dog would not necessarily feel good...


He may be the best pilot ever. But the wings of a plane like that aren't designed to fly upside down and would lose lift if he did. This story is a hoax.


She could hear the drums. You were fucking The Master! Nice.


>please watch and *donate*

ding ding ding, there's the magic word right there. everyone throw your money at a guy playing video games.


I like my album covers [medium well](http://i.imgur.com/h38XZA9.jpg?1)


Ehh. It was all Will in will and grace putting a normal face to homosexuality.

Effeminate gays might have started the train, but it was masculine guys that put a normal face to homosexuality that allowed everyone else not wearing a feather boa to come out.


It's like Woodstock maaaan...


I was pseudo-trolling, but also serious. Another thing children would not understand. No, I actually did not get on the Internet until I was 18. Yes, I am able to recognize satire.


Thats President Indiana Solo.


Yeah, but do you think she likes his cock as much as his balls?


I imagine when stuff like this happens, a person successfully avoided a major catastrophe/death and they have no idea. Like final destination stuff.. I have no idea why I felt the need to tell you that.


LOL.  Grow up you fucking fag.


I went in bareback once... ended up with a virus.


i agree EXCEPT FOR pot doesn't inhibit motor skills.


*Real men don't use timers.*


Do you not have eyes? Look at the picture. It tells you everything you need to know.


She thought my shirt was mocking Muslims...

Today is the day where I have lost all and any hope for humanity.


Scientific studies from experts develop my view


Gentleman's vegetables. Going to have to remember that one.


I'm fairly secure in my relationship. She's not quite the type to let one thing such as a one night over the course of history ruin an entire relationship. For a high school girl, she's very rational. I appreciate your sincerest concern for my relationship and "stupid ass".


Because boys are better than girls


So my opinion is invalid?

You know what the downvote button is for right?

Hint:  You don't press it if you disagree.


TONIGHT WE NAP.... IN HELL!!!!


Name a time when anyone said that. Beside Trayvon's family, and those other ones.


And entirely intentional. They know their audience doesn't know shit about computers so they dick around.


So... she's single now?


Perhaps it was planted there.


Never cared much about nomenclature...


This face - it was like looking in the mirror


Solution!!

Go between classes

It sounds crazy, I know. But it might just be crazy enough to work!


That's actually my game plan for if someone on the street tries to mug/rape/axemurder me. I'm hoping my war cry will intimidate them, or at least throw them off long enough for me to get in a jab at their soft parts. My war cry involves ululation, snarling, teeth-gnashing and Marty Feldman eyes.


Wow, I see why you're being downvoted. I downvoted you as well. Faggots like you really take away from the site as a whole.


I know, his sister was a bitch.


no, real flapping dolphin


move around for gods sake. don't just lay down and close your eyes, get involved with it.


Fans who ditch me because I high fived, criticized reddit's reaction to the show or don't like me for pretending to shit into my hand were never really fans. You can take your sob story and move along.


Even by their definition I'm still a virgin :'(


What I said was the snobby people attack negative reviews because the movie in question is flawless in their opinion.


Fill it with black marbles and a little piece of paper with a QR code printed on it.

Have the QR code link to a gif of someone inserting black marbles into their anus and pooping them into a jar


As someone who puts in zero effort and eats whatever I want and am still skinny. I don't agree in the least.

It isn't affirming to shame others.

A former "friend" would shame people for being poor and came from a wealthy family where he didn't do shit. He wasn't affirming himself for accomplishment he was an asshole.


> like some sort of sexual grinch

Well. *Somebody* just earned themselves a tag.


Ugh... Dyrus man... I wanna downvote you so hard for that post.

Makes me itchy giving you an upvote.


Well to be fair he wasn't black either.


Been avoiding GOT's spoilers for a whole year and the third comment is a bit of a spoiler.

Ah well.


No I do not have a girlfriend.. This job has ruined the thought of a happy relationship for me.. I know that sounds sad, but am still a very happy person!


A lot of assumptions here.


I was thinking kids face up teachers skirt


The Watchmen. It was pretty mediocre with a few bad ass scenes


edit1: OMG FRONTPAGE! NEVER EXPECTED THAT

edit2: going to sleep now, thanks for the answers!


so you thinks its right that people in africa die so you can live comfortably? you make me sick. you are a shining example of the self-centred materilastic little shit that everyone hates america for. FUCK YOU.


People in this thread really don't understand what [the output of a cochlear implant sounds like.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpKKYBkJ9Hw)

**EDIT:** More demos [here](http://www.hei.org/research/shannon/simulations/). Includes "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash. Note that these are all simulations.


le downvotes? really?


I noticed this in Germany. They never give you enough water, either, on top of it coming in a fancy bottle. How do people live on such small amounts of water? I drank more from the hotel sink than I did at restaurants.

The whole sparkling vs. flat water thing also didn't make sense to me. I really don't like carbonated water, but everyone in Germany seemed to prefer it to flat water.


An American doesn't understand irony?

How ironic...


and just as you're finishing up that's when the real inspector walks in.


the girl has a small tranny penis you dumb fuck


He may not hit you, but he will hit *on* you.


I was giving her advice to deal with people just like you, thanks for making my point stick.


I knew a woman who taught her sons to dab the end with a little piece of toilet paper, and the father hit the roof when he found that out.


Yeah I was here hoping the dumbass cracks his skull open.


i've played this way as well, the key variation is that you have to scream the word out of an open window to get the bonus.


I take them very personally. Now I'm sad and eating chocolate. So much hate from strangers. But that's what the Internet loves. The Internet loves a troll!!!


Paul Erdos wasn't a mathematician, he was math. The man was basically a hobo who would move in with you, collaborate on a paper, and move out to the next paper. Pray you love a person as much as Paul Erdos loved math.


> you're long journey

FTFY


My eye is twitching hard enough to measure on the Richter right now.


edit: okay, okay, I will delete this. For the record, I had also written the top comment and meant every word I said. I just couldn't resist a little off-topic reddit humor. I'm not even sure it was that offensive... but I'm sorry anyway. :(


Their mother should have had more children.


I'd steal, then shit on them.


too lazy to actually follow instructions; read comments.


Why? It's *your* job to clean that up.


She sells seashells in the Seychelles.


For me, one of the most annoying things that go on at /r/trees is when people get bitched at for driving high. I don't get on Reddit to get preached at.


A coworker once sent an email in explaining that he broke his thumb by hitting a coffee table playing Wii Bowling.   He continued to explain that since he didn't have any painkillers he was forced to drink a bottle of vodka the night previous and had woken up drunk.

Everyone had a good laugh over that.


Well yeah, it's pretty fucked up to do that. That's her secret to tell, not yours.


Yes, everyone otter sea this for themselves.


Why would you want 2 top 5 players in the East?


And if she does stuff naked *and* of a sexual nature, the hotness increases exponentially.


I don't know why you had to **CAPITALIZE** everything, but you **DID** a good **JOB**.

Also,

**PIKACHU** used **THUNDERBOLT!**


Actually there was a article about that some while ago. Redditor got banned,


mmm yes violentacrez certainly is never discussed on SRD my bad


Don't forget the importance of the flag in this fight. See, he can easily determine wind speed and direction with Mr. Stars and Stripes there.  So not to worry, he'll hit that damn thundercloud right square in her Pinko Commie eye on his first shot. Merica.


Everybody has a karma train to ride. Don't be mad because ours happens to be pulling in at the moment.


This is gonna be just like the time with the Titans longsnapper, huh?


cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it


> She decided to start screaming verses from the Quran

Doing that on the way *into* the US will get you shot.


The point was that it's incredibly easy to arrest someone who's literally out there for the whole world to see, unlike Kony who's in hiding.


The fact that you know this is disturbing.


I'm not calling her a bitch I just am saying that it's her choice that we are living where we are.  She gets corporate passes to the RedSox and wanted to live across the ballpark which is also like 15 minutes from her office.


In time it would get shorted to Luna though. So it would be Moon, Moon.


Total lies. http://www.conservapedia.com/Nazism, http://www.conservapedia.com/Communism,


Me too, but 3 broken bones really tells us a lot of Sir Hawk's skills in this dangerous sport.


Take your idealism somewhere else. That's like a rapist saying "if you can't fight me off I deserve to fuck you. Survival of the fittest."


I lost my shit at "Get yo water nigga!"


My downvotes are agreements of agreements of agreements.


White people are so fucking goofy


Easy there killer. I was just joking. Let the Lions fans get offended for themselves if they feel the need to to. You don't have to white knight for every team you feel bad for.


You should probably start keeping files of texts/emails/etc. she's sent you on a USB drive.


Your wrong. Cubones actually kill there moms. then they ate all the flesh off and finish by eating the brain. then they squirm inside the brain whole. Thats how they become adults in the cubone world. god people on reddit are dumb.


Easy there, Professor Oak.


exactly, if you were the least bit interesting you would know this.  subdermals are not WTF they're just cool.  sometimes i hate reddit.


Pfshh, in 10 years we'll all be browsing HoverReddit.


personally... let's find the fuckers and make them pay...slowly and painfully.

downvotes from pussies who wanna give up the fight?


When I was little, I thought that gushers were filled with grape juice, and that if you left them alone long enough, they would turn into wine. Sadly, my gushers-wine-making business never took off


Not sorry as he used it as an excuse for karma.

Which will ultimately be useless when OP is dead.

That is unless OP is lying.


Isn't that reckless endangerment?


Rapists were attacked by females? What's your source?


upvote for name@office.com

brilliant idea


I think storyboarding would be a bit much. His artwork, although creative, has a very messy feel to it. Too many chook scratches and the coloring in job OP does is substandard :-)

Although this karmawhoring post is amazing to the average Redditor who would not have a creative bone in their body, it is nothing special :-)

**downvote** his post and move on :-)


You could call it a driving range.


Spread the good word sister.  Womanhood needs to hear your message.


WAY MORE ETHICAL than hurting a pig.

And potentially hurting himself in the process.  He wanted to fuck a pig without fucking a pig, kudos for figuring out a way to make it happen.


Yeah - all it takes is a dick. True.


".....domized and we don't know if he'll ever walk again, just thought you should know."


What is this?! A reposting site!? We can't let 9gag infect us! Get them with an arrow to the kneeeeeeeeeeee!


You can just conquer England.


but thats got nothing to do with his commitment to being a father, and i feel for her to throw that in is indicative of her believeing that it is.


Well if it's a recurring issue that shows no sign of changing, then it doesn't really count as the 'past',  does it?


i wonder why, when a mass amount of angry men are sending me rape jokes/threats and misogynistic slurs?

guess i should've thanked them for the attention


I'm pretty sure Trent Reznor even said "That's not my song anymore"


Good for herm!

lol overly sensitive pageant dipshits.


For me it's usually "Oh just trying to read an article here and BOOM APP STORE PAGE FOR GAME OF WAR"

It's disorienting and infuriating. Don't take me out of my browser into a whole different app without my permission, assholes.


I am sorry, but I don't like getting fired for looking at cocks at work, I would like to know before that happens. Granted this IS /r/4chan, but still.


imagine the poor kids. they have to live with him the entire day


Their claim is she is not a POW but she is under investigation for murder.


yeah, they upgraded their servers


The war was fought predominantly by the French in France.


Hey guys, I found the robot.


Wait, you mean he accidentally the whole the open door to a classroom with a pitiful look on his face that whoever was teaching in that room would just turn back to his students with a GIANT grin on his face?


My neighbor needs to hear this, and my parents, and my friends, ...wait...


With ketchup muthafucka.


Nice! That asshole in the Honda won't park like that again!


Like you're supposed to? Seems like robbing Peter to pay Paul. You'll get more comment karma this way, but less link karma.


I haven't always been a fan, but the way his account has matured is impressive. I've been converted.


>Probably so he can feel like the time he spends being a attention whore doesn't go to waste...

FTFY

ps: Zach Anner already has our pitty love, he does not approve.


Doesn't compare to my buddy, he tells the worst stories.  He had one story that he told me over and over that was real bad, shitty bad, not like cussing bad. besides the shitty part.


You're right, my bad.


Have you tried turning him on and off again? That usually does the trick.


it's reddit hell i learned that the first day i posted on the interwebs, do you really think i am going to waste my damn time worrying about some grammar.  If i get downvoted to the death screw it there is only a certain amount of down you can go.


The funny part is, that's probably exactly what he would say


Ya...  That's not true

Edit: oh reddit... the misinformation is strong with this one.


Similar situation here minus the degree.


Common misperception.  Mac ads are primarily about how macs are better than windows, not how windows is bad.

You may not agree with their message, but they aren't just bashing windows for no reason.


I'm tired of these motha-fucking goals scored on our motha-fucking keeper.


TIL: There is a subreddit called r/bestof.

Have an upvote. ;)


What's even more depressing is that he was a man with hopes and dreams and now his life is summed up to the world as Big Fat Grahame, the guy who died trying to use a wheelchair lift to get to the Christmas party because he was too wide to get on the bus.


what is this I dont even...give me moar please!


"Jokes"

He probably sleeps with a knife under his pillow just in case


That's actually a good idea. Homework helps us reinforce the stuff we learned during school hours.


They hate us cuz they anus.


I hope Ford Motor Company lets you recite this verbatim in a Super Bowl ad. It's very inspiring.


its just a general news flash. If you didnt know, now you do. If you did know then you can wait for the next news program after this commercial break


> HR's main priority is to keep the company from being sued.

And not giving him his commission likely leads to the company getting sued.


You have pretty low standards for "an established megastar".


> it was fairly disconcerting.

I see what you did there.


Did I just hear someone say Game One was high quality? LOL


Been on two planes as passenger that have been hit by lightening.  A bit disheartening the first time when i was aisle seat on the wing that got hit and A) the stewardess next to me started screaming "OH MY GOD! It's never been that close before!! and B) the pilot came on the loudspeaker - no shit - chuckling about the "light lightening strike we had just experienced."


Rules are rules.  You break the circlejerk, you break the rules.  We do accept bribes for ban rescinding in the form of puppy and kitten pictures.


Exactly. And Best Buy will remove them for only $100.


it is, however, irrelevant. downvoted!


Its not that bad. We are selling our bodies, remember?


Where in my comment do I say anything about an ENB. And the best ENB setting guide includes around 20 mods.


You are of the ball-bearing part of society, are you not? Your anger is tinged with testosterone.

I kinda knew I´d downvoted for writing it, but hey..

P.S. Fuck you, too.


I GOT IN ONE LITTLE FIGHT AND MY MOM GOT SCARED AND SAID YOU'RE MOVING WITH YOUR AUNTIE AND UNCLE IN BEL-AIR


I completely agree with you that it is a very terrible thing to a persons family and loved ones when someone decides to off themselves. However I am saying that it is not necessary to tell everyone about this. There are even dedicated subreddits for this type of thing that I can chose not to subscribe to. However this person chose to post it on the main reddit page that I cannot unsubscribe from.


You haven't lived until you have done penis shark. Assume the crab walk position(from gym class I know you remember it) fully erect. Make sure the helpless person can see your penis but not you. Hum the jaws theme while making your penis patrol around in their view.

EDIT: Goddamn. Hopefully sharking is the new planking (cmon guys all the cool kids are doing it).


At least they're decent at spelling.


I came to accept that I will never repeat the success of Minecraft. I chose to instead focus on making more games that I personally enjoy, and living up to that is much easier.


I thought I recognized that post. You posted the exact same thing in the in2lol thread. At least change the wording up some.

I agree, it is irritating to say the least and somewhat unprofessional. But this hate is a bit unearned. You can dislike them or whatever, but people are acting like they went around stomping on babies.


Don't be upset with OP, chances are he found it on Bing by searching for current events.


Thats adorable that you think you're standing in the cold with thousands of people.


Slap HER on the ass and yell SWITCH!


How is this relevant? Stop ruining reddit please!


HOW IS THIS COMMENT FROM 52 YEARS AGO!?!


Nah, shitty parents are what brew such behavior in the first place.


Well despite Piglet being called Piglet I assumed he was a mouse for most of my childhood/teenage years. Turns out he's a piglet and that's why he's called Piglet.


no it is not. It is no more violent than a tumor removal. It is not mutilation. It is a practice accepted and even recommended by the AAP. Stop viewing it through this lense of religious disfigurement.


Thank you for signing up for Pig Facts.


Why is this man being downvoted? Do you people actually like this hideous beast? (I honestly have no idea who she is, actress/singer i guess?)


Geez you got a big pussy...geez you got a big pussy. She said "whyd you say that twice?" and I said "I didnt"


>Is that going to be a problem?

>going to be a problem?

>be a problem?

>problem?

[problem?](http://imgur.com/TCeHJ)


Psshhh. I could do it with my eyes closed.


You clearly didnt watch the video, and your also getting pretty emotional. Funny because in the video they talk about the psychological reactions of people when confronted with FACTS that conflict with their worldview lol.


Same for me, plus I started in May, not June. Huge sigh of relief right there.


Wozniak was and still is a technological wiz... However, if it weren't for the genius and savvy of Jobs and his vision (plus nudging/challenging Wozniak), we wouldn't know about him or enjoy his creations and their contributions as a whole.  Call Jobs what you will, but realize he and his methods are needed sometimes to produce Wozniaks of the world.


Um, no. That would be considered ILLEGAL. OP, please don't listen to this guy. He OBVIOUSLY has no clue what the law in the USA is. I DOWNVOTED you for giving terrible advice to someone with a serious problem. :)


That's why I feel bad for the Star Wars kid. *Everyone* has twirled around a stick making lightsaber noises at some point in their lives. This kid just had the misfortune of having it put online when he did it.


I really think you people should stop doing this.  That guy never posted his picture on the internet, some random stranger did.  You really have no right to use his photo.  It's shameful.


My heart skipped when I read that.


Gronk was the ass who threw the first punches. Let it rest.


You were so horny that you went and shat in a bag? What the fuck.


Fuck you and your linking shenanigans....
WTF....   stop that nonsense.  seriously


1. Train my ass off. Have a baby in April. Train my ass off.
2. I've never really been through this whole free agent thing while being worth a damn so I'm not completely sure how it all works. There'$ a few thing$ I'll have to con$ider when weighing my option$.
3. Man.


NO FLASHBACKS!!! Learn form current events. Deduce.


Don't worry, everyone does


My parents put me in boxing since I was seven, so I developed good reflexes and was kinda numb to pain. This backfired on my parents since they know that I don't really care when they hit me. I stand there and take it without even flinching. So they recently started using a wire to hit me. That shit fucking hurts. I deserve it though. I'm a little shit.


More than likely trying to retrieve the footage from the dash cam that has the incriminating evidence on it.


I used to be a french infant, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


Can I add head scratching to this? Feels amazing.

Edit: While I'm here, my other favourite thing is putting clothes on right out of the dryer.


no i just have give no fucks when it comes to grammer or spelling on the internet


I play them every step of the way during production. The first few games were the most labor-intensive for me, because I had to teach Neversoft about the nuances of skating very quickly. By the 4th game, they were very familiar with skating (and most of the designers had actually started skating by then)


If you're posting in a history thread you should know not to call a Marine a soldier.   Not only is it the wrong term, it's just plain bad manners.


Answer: They believe that they have understood all that there is to understand.


boo fucking hoo. ..piss off and wake up.


Probably not what he meant.


Maybe, but it sure gets you mad doesn't it?


You know what's really depressing about this comment? It's completely fucking true. Reddit is not the bastion of liberal equality it likes to purport itself to be, it's mainly a bunch of a lonely men who have no idea how to engage a woman that isn't part of a porn video.


Wow you noticed their skin color?  You're a comedic genius!


...but what happened with Halo?! I GOTTA KNOW


Thanks for backing away. You go bash somewhere else now. Bye.


Yes, exactly like pandas.


You must be. That girl isn't even close to perfect form.


I'm glad we can finally put this question to rest.


Nothing about it is necessary. Does it have to have a clip? No. Does it have to lack a cap? No. Does it have to be retractable? No. This is completely a design choice, and pen snobs are defending a shitty design.


NO.

NO. NO. NO. NO.


Fuck you, you fucking dirt eating terrorist piece of shit.  Aisha was a little girl and your pedophile prophet fucked her at age nine.

Eat pig shit and die.


Oh Christ, what a blunder. I hope everybody reads your correction.


Still prefer that over the "took an arrow to the knee" crap.


I could actually find this really hot. There's something about feeling someone up through a sheet; knowing they're completely naked, having nothing but that thin cloth between you, groping each other like you've both found a secret....

I need to try this.

EDIT: I am apparently not the only one who needs to try this... I spread a fetish today. :3


Pros on any competitive circut usually fall into two types: "I know what PR is" and "I'm the best you fucking proletariat scum".

As much as I like the former, most circuts usually get the latter invading, no matter what.


I HATE WHEN PEOPLE YELL AT ME IN ALL CAPS. I CAN HEAR MYSELF SCREAMING IN MY HEAD AND IF THEY BEGIN TO FORM A RUN ON SENTENCE I LITERALLY RUN OUT OF BREATH BECAUSE I FORGET TO BREATHE WHILE I'M CURRENTLY SCREAMING IN MY HEAD. ARE YOU OUT OF BREATH YET?


careful, kid, my downvoting finger is far from tired yet.


....that smell of dirty water


Please tell me your username means what I think it does.


Awesome feature man!

I still need to make my way to Georgia for one of those Braum Burgers!


Lol, you seem like such a happy dude.


I'm writing a musical about this. I call it "Salt Water Tafty".


Honestly, I only saw the picture floating around my news feed with the caption that he wanted it removed... I only made this out of spite, cause If there IS any truth to it, I'd love to make him all butt-hurt... Cause he's hilarious when he's butt-hurt...


The only legitimate response in this sea of terrible comments.


5 seconds to make a 5 word comment is a far cry from caring.


Pants back on gentlemen

(҂‾ -‾)︻デ═一 \(˚▽˚’!)/


They weren't in Reach.


Remember Kony 2012? yeah, people love to jump on a bandwagon, especially on the internet.


Someone who can get people to serve him like this and love him doesn't really sound like a loser, honestly. A selfish asshole, yeah, but a loser? Nah.


The optimist in me wants to hope the guy who said that was super rich and socially awkward and implying she could live with him and never have to work in a strip club again. But the way it's worded is just... No.


isn't iS an amateur team? rofl


The way the ground just starts billowing up through the cracks is terrifying.


i just picked a random skit I had never seen before to see if I was wrong.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd7FixvoKBw


...in the form of a question, please


Aaaaaand... came here to write this too.


I became ever-more happier that I have a penis.


A gentlemen would never hit a lady, sir.  Pushing a woman down on a wet pool deck is the act of a craven and a brute.  It is only my hope that her companions gave him a taste of their fists.


>whilst

Indubitably.

*sips tea*


you clearly weren't watching


*checkmate atheists*

*m'essiah*


I legitimately thought it was a girl I grew up with named Jennifer Lopez, from the back anyways. I now realize it was not cuz this girl goes to Mich St and I do not... oOPs sorry guys. Butt who really cares in the *end*?


A lot of people don't know how great a finger gun and bullet sound makes you look. No matter what kind of day you're having, if you fire a couple of those around people take notice.


I laughed so fucking hard at this.


Silly, its not mothers day. Its your anniversary. Your wife will be home in 5 minutes.


Yea but the backers.... Their hard earned dollars...


Stop trying to make fetch happen!


Don't be mad cause controller FPS is special ed FPS.


Well of course she does. When Lady Gaga is wearing her outfits, she's not *trying* to look attractive. This idea is lost on a lot of people.


Why? Just because I am a mod of that other sub means I can't post here?

Ouch you called me fat! Never heard that one before!


Oh Mitt, you sneaky devil


It seems funny until you realize that you just waste the professional time of at least two people, plus vehicle costs, etc. Pranks do not have to involve outright lying.


A long happy life culminating is raising an amazingly talented world famous musician, and then getting to make fun of that little bastard.


Really?????  More important than NDAA and SOPA?  I swear, Reddit changes "most important thing evar!" every two days.