Can't wait to pirate them. Everyone should just get a gateway.


I work at a veterinary clinic and we've received multiple calls about beastiality.  The most interesting of which was from a father who caught is daughter having sex with their family dog.  His first concern was whether or not his dog could contract an STD from the daughter... uhhhh what?


it was like how when i was at the DR office i said hey you know , you let me fill out white boy on your sign- in sheet but i'm lookin at my selfie on your light box and clearly i have all the signs of being 1 hot peep of color,what gives ? ? and he said it was my "'x~ ray'' and you know i unfollowed him ! !


The classic Irishman's dilemma - Do I eat the potato now, or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?


Jesus christ people are literally shitting all over Russel on /r/nfl

Edit: I LIVE IN DOWNVOTES PEOPLE. IT LITERALLY MEANS NOTHING

Edit 2: There was a moment where I was at -44 and thought OH NO.

Then I realized downvotes don't actually do anything.

I have enjoyed the conversations with  people that have commented which is much more worthwhile..


Haha, yes they are. She ended up cheating on him, and gave him chlamydia. ^^^lol


Filthymcbastard is showing his (or her) sensitive side ... Reminds me of the touching frontpage post announcing the death of Redditor "schiffydick" yesterday. Schiffydick must be feeling like an idiot in the afterlife for choosing that name.


That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works!!


Totes Lulz lolz fo sho etc ummm carpe diem?


It's a simple cost/benefit analysis.  If it's nasty, you figure it out after the first spoonful.  If it's delicious, you get a whole tupperware thing full!  The mean return on investment is acceptably high.


Hahaha <3 Morley, that was awesome hehe


You sound like fucking Gandhi man.


When people start talking about male issues seriously, then I will have a change of heart.

I feel grateful for having amazing people in my life, no matter what the gender. But I guess being a female is somehow applaudable?


http://imgur.com/xYvGo

http://imgur.com/U8Rhi


You realize you play the game to win the big one, right? If you look at the success of each team after that trade, you see our two rings vs your zero. And Eli's never had particularly great teams, he never had an LT in his backfield.


Idk what destiny did wrong?

Have you never talked about someone behind their back?


My suicide plan is to die peacefully of natural causes very late in life so all of my loved ones get a chance to get closure and there are doctors all around me to deal with the body immediately. I've invested a lot of time into it.


Please it has been proven by engineers/developers, that just having a mini/micro USB port on the device cannot provide all the current functionality that Apple's custom port does.

EDIT - For everyone who wanted it, here is the pin-outs to backup my statement. http://modmyi.com/forums/general-iphone-chat/702464-possible-mic-input-though-30pin.html


I have to scroll down this far to see a dick?


But ahpull is just shiney spensive puter no better feeture than mikerowsawft and androyde pooters!


If I am certain of anything, Lizzie Windsor will never die. Her, along with Ozzy Osbourne, and that dinner lady from my primary school who I swear was 80 when I started, will be our immortal overlords.


you failed as soon as you bought the console.


It's like a used car ad.

Make: Toyota

Year: yes

Odometer: present

Engine: front

Passengers: not included.


I guess I'm on the "it's just a joke delivery method" side, because I really didn't pay attention to that. I just thought it was funny, so I posted it.

I do think its annoying that the font is obviously fake, but it doesn't bother me enough to do anything about it.


Or that the professor knew nothing about literature.


The piece was really gay and boring.  Just saying.


Damn you are way over qualified to answer this question.


Just curious....why is this downvoted so much?


Reminds me of what my dad said to me on the subject of fighting:

"Listen Snakebyt3, if you get in a fight, just jab them in the face. Don't try and do some fancy pull back and swing. Just once, right in the face, and they'll probably go down like a sack of shit."


Why would we want De Gea when Real are just going to get him in Summer anyway?


There were 2d barcodes on them that, when scanned by the child's smartphone, would open up a webpage with a video of a hologram. They would compare that hologram to a hologram also found on the helping hands to confirm their authenticity.


DADDYYY SAYD DAT DIS MAN EAT DA DAWGGIES CAWSE HE YELLOW!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Respawn in 10 seconds.


doesn't make it torture.


"I am satisfied with my care."

*goes limp*


Semi-best friends! I'll show myself out...


It's supposed to always be two fucks, but sometimes the MPAA runs out of fucks to give.


no money just people to watch and appreciate it :D


>I hate people

I feel you.  Some of the worst people I know are people.


Yea, gays should learn to stop asking out girls. What a fag.


Nationwide your kid just died.

Edit:Wow. Never thought I would get gold for joking about dead children.


The fact that you are telling op that he is retarded with a stupid comment makes this invalid and hypocritical.


>When X-Men was being filmed in my city

Lucky bastard.

>I was working a closing shift one night and Patrick Stewart and Halle Berry came

Oh COME ON!

>Thing is I don't give a shit about Halle Berry. So I walked by them, completely ignoring her and looked at Patrick Stewart and said "you're way better than Kirk."

FLAWLESS. I forgive you, you lucky bastard.


She appears to be a slut. A whore has sex with men for money.


Oh God, imagine *Cloverfield...*

"WHY WASN'T THIS ON THE NEWS? WHAT ARE THEY HIDING"


TIL letting Maclin walk when he demanded more than he was worth = "blowing up the team"


I sneezed less than an hour ago. We need to set up a headquarters to monitor and lapse in sneeze reports. [6]


if u hate bronies then u hate the pyro cus pyro is a brony!!!! hahaha OWNED! XDDDDD


From heartwarming to vegetablewarming in a matter of seconds.


As a cunt yourself, what do you enjoy?


Wait, hold on, you're supposed to eat with the fork in your opposite hand?  I always just switch the fork to my left hand if I need to cut something and then put it back in my right hand.  I'm right handed.

Edit: Oh hey, my most single comment karma ever.  Thank you America vs. The Rest of the World controversy for all the magical internet points!


Not all who smoke occasionally are smokers. Also, I think kittens are awesome. Who's with me?!

Edit: Wow, reddit really hates kittens now. I must have missed a memo.


Nice use of punctuation, dumbass.


A rock is a rock. You just gotta be there.


To get attention. Like most people who claim depression.


I cunt believe this bloody humour.


Dude youre literally everywhere on Reddit. Gotta get that comment karma do to name recognition. Pathetic...

Edit: due*


Scotty doesn't know how.


Consent is implied if they have both role-played sleepysex before. Sorry. I'm on his side with that one. Also, she said "I'm sooo drunk and sooo tired."


I believe you dropped this. "


Yes, but you are probably still a teenager/ in school. It's called "minimum wage" for a reason. It's the absolute minimum, and not something most people continue to make for any extended period of time.

If you are not a kid I would be using every waking moment of my free time to find something better. Good paying jobs are not as hard to find as the whiners online would make it seem


Suck a dick, I want my manufactured heart-warming bullshit-from-a-can

lol ty!


I didn't. God damned Pedophiles.


I sometimes think my life sucks, then I come onto reddit and think to myself... it could have been worse


No. This is only sorta true in contemporary western culture. Countless atheists throughout history haven't revealed themselves. Plenty of women today marry for reasons that are convenient and far removed from matching "values". Her case seems mild. Sure, not storybook, but who is? Has a good a chance if not better to succeed than many others I've heard.


That's pretty friendly imo.


You Americans are pathetic, really. Why do you call everything rape when it isn't rape? It's marital sex, not rape.


No, but moose will still fucking kill you.


I don't hate her, I disagree with what she claims, but she does help a lot of people get over loses and other than her greed (using this bullshit for money) she does a lot of good to people who don't realize that she's just reading them and spitting out what they're basically telling her.


Sex is good, but sex with someone you love and who loves you? That's what I really want.


I used to hope it was Pandemic 3, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Ama request: a mattress


You realize that it makes no sense to leave a room blank if you only have a 1-room flat? With few room to live it naturally will look like this.


This must become the highest donated test cardboard of all time.


Ha! Sounds like he knows his place!


All my Tyrannosaurus vs Stegosaurus Dino fights hate you and your facts.


stop being a fucking idiot...please


Make her stare so she lose her eyesight.


This is why we shouldnt help niggers. They are a disease on this planet.

edit: niggers are down voting me now.


http://i.imgur.com/2v5sP3S.png

EDIT: gilded, [thanks!](http://i.imgur.com/BaTmnHz.png)


The fact that they had to emphasize the rule the very next year was a concession by the league that the Patriots played dirty in the 2003 AFC championship game.


That Kenny Kravitz is nowhere near as nice as his brother Lenny.


Your great great grandmother was a ho


The best part of all this is you actually linked to the poop picture.

edit: +ed. i can't spell properly on my cellphone.


Deciding on an abortion is probably in a woman's top 3 life decisions she will make. Its a big deal


it is news in history


They can always go back to the days of *Whose Line* reruns and *Weekend at Porky's* marathons.


>we're on TrueReddit, and this comment doesn't discuss the posted content at all.

>I am a huge faggot that takes the internet too seriously and I am trying really hard to sound like an adult but everybody knows that isn't the truth.


>we met in Kerala, India when we were both traveling alone

For every one marriage, there's at least a dozen people who meet someone this way and end up with their organs being harvested.


he didn't say that

you guys piss me off so much. yeah, Vivek made a mistake firing Malone but that's the only mistakes he's made so far. he saved the Kings from Seattle. you guys are blowhards. pisses me off so much.


They once helped a kid fix his broken computer before his dad got home. Turns out he was running some bulky excess software.


Ha! I find out about a ne subreddit every day. I can only imagine the stuff I will see there.

Cheers and upboat for you!


This is how my girlfriend trained me to use her vagina.


You do know Menrights is a troll subreddit where the actual men are spineless cowards and misrepresent a whole gender? This coming from a dude that respects women and their right to earn as much as I do.


And don't drive like *my* brothah! (RIP Clack)


Hello!

You are reading this because you clearly have no idea how to use sarcasm, so please stop.

Thank you.


Don't worry, we'll hold you to lower standards than the guys.  After all, we need to get more girls into coding.


Hey Reddit, would you kill- "Yes."
.. for $10 million dollars? "Even better."


I'm so sorry! I didn't realize that asking for help vs the crowd of downvoters was not appropriate. I have deleted this tweet, apologized in the thread, and told everyone not to do it.

Victoria says she is talking to you now. Is there anything else you need from me to reinstate the AMA?


give that man a blowjob


Except more losers are downvoting. LOL


FUCK THE NAZI ELEPHANT

PRIORITY TARGET


No. And Sinatra doesn't entirely represent his era either. But nice attempt at looking like an ass. It worked.


You have a dragon, sir.


no fuck u my boyfriend is a cop ok and he actualy protects people so u shouldn be writin "fuck the polce" show some goddamn respect OK or just step the fuck back just because ur a hipy who hates the law because u think it makes u all bad ass :/

**edit: 5 downvotes in 1 minute????? looks like reddit is full of cop haters gonna get my revenge and downvote everyone else in this thread >:)**


le can't believe you got downronned for your bravery


Shut up and be a man and let other men jerk off to your man boobs.


lol can't wait till that faggot kid's dead. Can't wait till you're dead too faggot, top hat and all.


 I imagined a gay guy saying that. Then read it again except with a black girl saying it. I apologize to both of these demographics.

Edit: I have been forgiven by a gay guy and a black girl. I can rest easy now


Looks like the advertising worked on you, then...there's no possible way Xovaan was working with Revzilla to post this.  Not possible.  No way.


Apple lost their Jobs too :(


came here for this, disappointed it was not top comment


this has been my dream since powerpuff girls


Politician who were once in the army I can understand. But why would a soldier become a Politician?


She's like fifteen or sixteen, a freshman I think.


Reddit don't like him - that's all.  Stupid Pele quotes get auto upvoted here.
Edit: More more more downvotes, we simply can't get enough Pele quotes - Amazing opportunity to talk shit.


*The Incredibles* is the best Disney movie for picking apart all of the superhero tropes and introducing us to one new one: No Capes.  They seriously need to change the [Cape Snag](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CapeSnag) page to this.

**EDIT:** WARNING - TVTROPES LINK ABOVE.


> As a woman who has been raped

lol


And so, Neil deGrasse Tyson updates thousands of Facebook statuses.


Why are you insulting me? You have superior reason and logic, given by the bravery of sagan.


> I like it better than The Princess Bride

Okay now you're crossing lines


there's always a score...


>unless this goes crazy viral

*posts on website synonymous with viral content*


Glad I'm not the only one who caught that.  Drop Jurassic Park and the BTTF movies and you got a good list.


Im a /b/ro man.... I am an asshole of the internet. But im only being a dulick to skeptics. From what I can tell your on my team and I like you. :)


He also has approximately 0% chance to win


I don't think you understand how serious 9/11 was...


She doesn't think sex is gross.  She thinks her parents are gross.


It's not funny anymore


It'd be too short of a movie.

He'd do two pec-pumps and Leonardo DiCaprio would burst into flames from the awesomeness.


In fairness though 9/11 did have a much larger body-count.


> The light that was over the barn cut off, we were in bitch darkness.

Bitch darkness was the typo I needed to give me a laugh in the middle of the creepfest


It was pinned to her little mail/bill board.  It's not like I was snooping.  It was right there so I looked at it.


Dies on the high note.


Or NIGGER.

Edit: why am i getting downvoted. It's funny.


I've slowly learned this about most banks.  Left for local credit unions, haven't looked back.


I was expecting dbz fighting-rpg style game not piece of shit nintendo asian-grindy crap jrpg. Xeno is fun for few just hours and after that it just became ssj + ultimate spam to farm new abilities and costumes. I never played monster hunter and i wouldn't want to play it ever in my life if game is like that.


He went full O'Reilly.  "What is Kentucky Friend Movie?  I've never even heard of it.  Fuck it I'm jacking off!"

EDIT - Lol gold, weird.  Do I now have special Reddit powers or is it just for show?


I'm pretty sure it's an instinct related to "staying with the herd" or something rather than external race tactics.


If they ever have this in hotels I'm at I'm going to let them keep the bath ropes and steal the robot instead. I'm going to give him a better life, passing out beer at my superbowl parties and having an intimate relationship with my microwave.


As happy as I am that this made the front page, I made the fatal decision to retell the story as it was told to me, in first person. I now face the wrath of the Reddit Truth police. IAMA(n) idiot.


Do...the dishes?  Somehow I think your booger fingers would be the LAST thing I want touching my dishes.


when I made this thread, the original thread had 3 upvotes (and this thread got to 4 upvotes while it was still at 3), now it's gotten the upvotes it deserves, all thanks to me, I assume, because I am awesome


"We should kiss... to teach our parents a lesson!"


Well somebody needs to be writing better ones because nigger OP just broke a major rule of the reddiquitte. BREAKING = Reported and downvoted.

Not just his fault though, none of you morons should have upvoted this in the first place. The collapse of digg shows itself every day.


ther was a soldir & he was in a warz1 & he was sudenly ambushed by eneimys.  he radioed 4 help but his comander sad "we wont send u rein4ments."  when he herd this he killed himself so he would not get captured by t eneimy.

when the comander arived on the sceen, he saw what had hapened and cried.  "i send u rein5ments, thats one more than rein4ments."

upvet if u cry evrytim.


> I prefer a naked ~~girl~~ Anna Kendrick in ~~a messy~~ my pristine room, because it shows she has ~~low~~ high enough standards to have sex with me.


Try something like "stop singing your dumbass fish cake song before I deport you." report back.


This whole video was nerdy as hell.  It felt like a "fight after school by the flagpole" in the way a bunch of nerds would settle it.

Mix a little "Braveheart" and "Turn Down for What" in there and it just looks incredibly [silly](http://i.imgur.com/Iryn847.jpg).


Hey, if you've done that, you *ARE* one lucky bastard! Way to go.


*You're sick.*

Edit: Just realized this was in the askscience subreddit and not askreddit or something like that. Sorry everyone!


As a circumcised man, I feel like I'm missing out on one of life's pleasures now.


1. Create reddit account.

2. Unsub from /r/atheism

3. Unsub from /r/politics

EDIT: Keep downvoting. I feed on your anger.


I thought it was hilarious, now I know it's even more hilarious.


Oh yeahhhhh his *struggles* of being a fat fuck of a loser who's only worth to society is being a dimwitted douchebag and making other dimwitted douchebags laugh at him.  must be *reeeeaaaallly* difficult.


Not sure if dumb or trolling.


It tricked me into reading the whole thing. [Narrated](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKas_GbhOMA).


GOOD COMEBACK BRO. YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON TO EVER HAVE SAID THAT.


At that point he's not the delivery guy. He's one of their close friends who happens to work as a pizza delivery guy.


The fart of the century...


I like how they handled this in [Arrested Development](https://i.imgur.com/h5kIbQO.gif)


Not sorry since a °C wasn't there.

Edit: Shall I add the obligatory "MURICA!" ?

Yeah, I think I will.

MURICA.

Edit2: Wow, all the hate for assuming °F automatically. Or for being an American. Either way, I'll take your damned commie hatred.


80% of college RA's are the type of people who feel it is a moral imperative that all rules are followed regardless of any sense of logic or reality. The other 20% are the people who were able to fake being that type of person during the interview process.


Males can not be raped though. It requires conscious arousal to attain an erection, therefore male rape is impossible. Unless they are talking about homosexual sodomy as rape.


AskReddit post in 10 years: When I was young, some guy scared me into having impeccable oral hygiene. I am now enrolled in dental school. In what ways has a stranger helped you, Reddit?


He actually says "clench".


It was your evolution episode, don't lie. You had a smirk on your face the whole time. =P


google image shadow of the colossus

open in paint

color in middle circle sections

my tattoo becomes apparent


We broke that link too.


he was always viable LOL... just bc there's a flashy skin out now people like you start thinking he became viable all of a sudden


Fuckin leeroy jenkinsd that shit


i don't care about the scores, i just shared a good old sexist joke and as you can see some people liked it.


As a gay man, I can honestly say that I'll take whatever is left on the table after you guys pick.


I mean or there's facebook, because not everyone is a reddit sperglord.


As an American, I think I just got a little choked up. Thanks for restoring my (misguided) patriotism.


(sorry, couldn't resist.)


here - have mine.

,


Haha, canada sucks. Move to a real country like America assholes.


"Die Hard 5 made Die Hard 4 look like Die Hard 3." I'm so glad I got to write that sentence.


that's not very helpful.


I could never tell the Weasley twins apart when I was younger. Funny how things sorted themselves out.


Definitely needs a NSFW tag. You can pretty much see her nipples.


Yes.  And they have to give me soda pop.

I wish that I was older because I want to be old enough to drink soda pop.

Finding a dragon.


I used to bite it and quite it, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


Not without proper punctuation she won't.


No he doesn't.  I'm a level 213 and he's never sent it to me.


*kiss*
"Time to build some cars"

*kiss*
"Time to kill some Jews"


you have seen nothing... head on over to /r/spacedicks or www.theync.com that is some intense shit


The Spiderwick Chronicles.


You know, I don't think I've ever seen these purported shy asshole posts. Is it something that occurs often? Or just another bit of hyperbole because these women are sharing themselves with the world; but you'll never ever ever ever *ever* interact with them on a personal, much less sexual, level and you feel you must disparage them to save your manhood?


>Is this the morning when we wake up?

I like how he just snuck that mindfuck in there.


HE MEANS THEY FUCK, YOUR PARENTS FUCK LIKE CRAZY, FUCKING EVERYWHERE, INCLUDING YOUR BED. PENIS INSIDE VAGINA FUCKING AWAY LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW...EXCEPT THERE IS AND THERE'S MULTIPLE WINDOWS FOR FUCKING THEN TOO.

EDIT: SORRY BUT YOU SHOULD FUCKING APPRECIATE FUCKING


This is the crappest AMA in the history of the internet.


I'm sorry but I just got this shirt, I have no idea how the pic got there.


This hasn't happened to me for many years BUT IF IT EVER DOES AGAIN! I'm going to say: "Look, this is a little weird, why are you so emotionally invested with how I handle my bloody uterine lining?"


"tr*nny" is a slur.

Don't say it.


I know what you mean. As a catholic, my policy for jokes is mostly no-tolerance. But I just really want to see the Jews eradicated, so I kinda have to laugh.


How... stupid do you have to be to think that a hologram would do anything in the first place? Oh, you said a cop.


My dad owns a Double Decker bus tour company.


That's not even relevant or true or needed to properly address the situation here.


I'm jacking off in your house right now.


No, Grow down you adult.


It was a sad day indeed.


got banned for 2 weeks no straight reason in the e-mail either, oh well


This thread is teaching me if someone in a foreign country asks me if I shot someone: I SAY YES.


Because you're stupid as fuck.


Upvote for an actual correct use of literally.


Todays women are so fucked it hardly matters anymore.  Just a wet hole for me to jack off into basically.  I didn't make them into whores but I'm sure enjoying it. :)


Thousands of redditors break into homes and are caught reading diaries.


Bluetooth is a wireless standard, not a physical thing you can wear. Therefore, how does one "pull [their] bluetooth off"?


Whats the best part about twenty six year olds?
There's twenty of them.


Are you really related to Kim Jong ???


He's an Exeter fan, that's like half their transfer budget.


He's had a better career than naama has had. Tuck in the butthurt.

Edit: This is why I love Idra. His makes the sc2 reddit babies *so mad* they'll downvote straight facts.

Hilarious.

Edit 2: 39 Sc2 reddit babies mad so far, line up.

Edit 3: 42 and rising! At this rate the bronze league on ladder will be empty because everyone's too busy qqing on reddit.


More like one of [these pencil sharpeners](http://www.officeshopping.co.uk/images/product_images/924871.jpg).


Typical cynical teenage expression..


Nothing like a salmon quesadilla without salmon or quesadilla..


At this point, I really hope your son dies.


"Ok class, we're going have a joint ... (pause) ... group writing excercise today. Whichever group gets the highest ... (pause) ... grade on this project wins extra credit. I want you
to think about several topics and weed ... (pause) ... out the worst ones before you begin."

You get the idea.


Attacking America is terrorism.


Take her 7 skills
Add salt
Now you have nine


Dude what the hell. Please tell me some guy got up and kicked your ass.


Go fuck yourself, San Diego.


exactly.

Here I am seriously hoping that most of NJ and NYC gets washed away in a giant tidal wave. (the uber douchebags of the world), but these little island nations have to suffer instead.

I pray to the gods, old and new, that if a nation be swallowed up by the seas, have it be NYC/NJ


Hate to break it to you, but that's not a real picture. Haha you know that right?


TIL redditors poop themselves a lot.


Watch out we got a bad ass over here. What makes you think you're so special that you can start judging people? I hate it when I'm called down and my dinner's not anywhere near being done. I bet Chuck Norris hates it too, and if Bruce Lee were alive he would probably hate it. Now you've insulted me, Chuck Norris, and Bruce lee.  Start running.


It doesn't look that bad. I don't even see any fire. 2/10.


Came here to downvote you.


The original is so much better than the repost!


must be, since Destiny 1 came out on it... which it never should.


The few, the proud, the clean.


You about done karma-whoring this shit? **We know! You did a good deed!** Now STFU.


That's god damn adorable.


Ok...that doesn't change the fact that your replay denying having seen a post you commented on yesterday was made about 1hr ago today.  The time stamps invalidate your comment, and that is irrelevant to this having been posted before today in another (sub)reddit.

You got caught in a lie.  No big deal.  It happens to everyone.  Don't try to BS your way out of it though.


I had a similar thought upon watching the hard hitting Glasgow heroin film Trainspotting for the first time, as Mark "Rent-boy" Renton narrated: "Take the best orgasm you've ever had... multiply it by a thousand, and you're still nowhere near it."

I mean....is that a deterrent?? It made me want to try it!


So? This game doesn't have any challenge to start with so why even CONSIDER adding a starting chest?


Right, lets take it from the top.

"*Born in the USA.... Born in the USA..."*


Ah the ol' reddit hivemind. Seeing all the downvotes causes more downvotes.


yeah... thats a pain in the ass... its like, they give you a timeslot... and you just want to play all your new stuff... you know? i figure thats what i want people to hear.... but occaisionally ill sneak in a classic of course


NIGGA U GET SCARED OFF A MOTHAFUCKIN VIDEOGAME?

TRY PLAYIN THE GAME OF LIFE. YOU ONLY GOT ONE LIFE AND BULLETS BE POPPIN NIGGA

G SHIT

WORD


In a cruel turn of irony I wore myself out writing that out so I have no energy left over. Mind if we make this one all about me?


Your Motherfucking Welcome!


Unlike many of the other things listed here, this one is blatantly illegal.  Reusing stamps is a federal crime (since the Postal Service is a federal department).  In addition, some cancellation marks are made with UV ink, so even if the stamp looks unmarked, it may still be detected.


Yes he fucking does deserve this, and then some. He's way too complacent and has far too much power.

I'll tell you who doesn't deserve this, the ever-squeezed Arsenal fans being asked to pay the highest prices in England to see this shit served up year upon year.


I swear that little bald fucker taught my kid how to whine.


I do.
Edit: Downvoting me won't change my opinion.


Yeah, I was on the "Mom's a slut" side.


Came here to post this.


I went to school with a Lenny Skywalker.


Once again, this contributes nothing and you're only making this comment so that people will upvote you for disagreeing with me.


That IS a friendly greeting when you're Roy Keane


not that common and not that "normal". Are you kidding me?? Something is wrong in that relationship. I know because I used to think of my ex-gf when I couldn't cum, but not anymore because I resolve some issues with my GF.


What's it like to be a combination bar/music club? You should do an AMA.


One word: Chuck Norris


*He's going to lie down soon I just know it.*


Having someone else's sweat on you won't kill you. Everyone hits the showers after anyway. Pay attention to the weight. Don't be making a fuckin detour for the antibacterial bullshit and paper towels.


"I heard about how your wife and kids are starving, and how your grandma has cancer. You get 50 years in the Gulag for being such a whiny little bitch."


nah they just made his triceps bigger i think and didn't change the head


Too bad they do not have somebody on the boat with a mic who is there specifically to tell them what to do....wait....


Sarcastic "tricked u" is the best way to deal with someone calling you out on a huge error, *if* people pick up the sarcasm.


where's the problem? egyptian =/= african


Nice try, Newcastle Brown PR Guy.


Oh my fucking god this fucking circlejerk.


Haaaaaave you met Ted?


No I did, give me karma.

EDIT: So this it what it feels like to shoot yourself in the foot.


Wait.... did you just solve everything? Was the ME3 ending really a cry for help from Bioware?

- EA = rEApers.
- Bioware = Biology Software = Organics
- Synthetics = Also EA

I am so high right now.


Wait, are we supposed to be blatantly lying to the FCC and pretending to be butthurt over a joke tweet? This seems a lot different from organized harassment campaigns against advertisers to censor websites that hurt your delicate feelings.

KiA lost their privileges for good reason.

Edit: that's a lot of downvotes! The KiA brigade is feeling salty! Salty downvotes!!


are you a girl? either way yes.


I just click the thing 'till my shit gets posted.


Is the QUEEN coming over?! Jeez...

All the crumbs and cobwebs from inside my cupboard in my clammy hand. If there is somebody over, I'll *maybe* mix some luke-warm water in to make a paste. *Maybe.*


In most cases competition is nothing more than a convenient illusion unless some greater force enforces it and even then it's still often an illusion.


I know, right?  Where would you put the cup holder?


which probably means they are a work of fiction


ooooh. I thought those were black guys. Holy shit do I feel racist.


but then again, WTF leaves their car keys in their car?

Not that this changes anything.

Also...those toes!


Shit is real once the doctor says WTF.


Shutup faggot, no it doesn't.


enough to make me forget how many times i've done this.


BURN! but still fucking epic up vote for reminiscence


Can we all just agree that in the age of the internet, if he is buying a Playboy, it may actually be for the articles?


maybe cause youre stupid


No, not generally.  But I love expensive SciFi movies.  Contact.  Deep Impact, 2001: A space Odyssey.  I prefer science fiction to science fantasy.  Hence my preference of Star Trek over Star Wars and Lord of the Rings.


The "ragrets" thing is a meme bro. I bet you ragret posting this now.


LE ME HERP DE DERPING ON DA REDDITZ

LE WILD BITCH APPEARS

"BLAH BLAH SOMETHING FEMINIST BLAH BLAH"

*Seriously? face*


That's not even remotely funny.


You also want to move out so that you can have sex with his girlfirend whenever you want?


Yeah, sure he was. If you're going to make excuses at least put some effort in.


Dude, you're fucking awesome.


innervate is not as OP as reddit made it to be. It is strong in Druid because you have the best draw engine in Ancient of Lore. None other decks has a reliable draw to refill your hand without losing tempo.

Edit: wow, so much downvotes for stating a different opinion. It is not like I said anything offensive or strayed off from the topic. Thank you reddit.


Here is my backyard skatepark: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPCLJ7H6h-E&feature=plcp


Repost from where? If you could link to this repost you are talking about that would be great.


In your defense the pictures look pretty good. There's no glare from background light, overly visible pixels, and clearly legible words (at least I can't see any flaws but then again I am on my phone).


That would've been wrong. Does that necessarily mean that young boy and adult woman is wrong? No, because it's different.

Why is it wrong?


upvote for #5. poor colby. :(

EDIT: fixed spelling.


So brave

Edit: I knew I was going to get downvoted for typing "So brave" but I did it anyways. [That's how brave I am.](http://i.imgur.com/0tjr7.gif)


Hotter than a pepper sprout


Its never been posted to /r/gaming before http://karmadecay.com/r/gaming/comments/2yb05i/so_this_guy_decided_to_decided_to_dress_up_for_gdc/

edit : really downvoted? *only downvote if it doesn't count towards discussion, not because you disagree with them*


There's no mistakes, only happy little accidents.

Edit: Customary RIP my inbox, holy shit over 1000 karma for a comment I considered not even posting. Lucky me.


Amazing the man with the skills


Any dude who wants to call a girl a whore and then can't take a punch from her is a spineless bitch.


Relative to Stephano, yes. Relative to you, likely not.


uh...really? this a joke? i don't even want to see it but...i feel like i'm missing something. that's not a link.


This is why athiests are a joke


Send this to newspapers as an editorial. This would be a great editorial.


i actually meant ugly but that works too.


The wife makes me get light beer during the summer months since I drink more while I am working outside. She is just trying to help me keep my girlish figure.


I used to like old ladies swearing like you, then I took an arrow to the dick.


True, its exceptionally okay.


faggots. pc is for nerds


We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.


Redditors that actually post (most do not) are generally too literate and educated to be duped the way the general public is. Edit: downvotes outnumber intelligent replies by 10:1.


Everyone flexed after reading this even if they didn't have a boner.

Edit spelling


It's a painting, get the fuck over it.


Not true. I have two kids as proof.


Well that's stupid. That's a horrible way to work out.


Canadian solution: apologize because you're not carrying enough money.


More like: Crazyass Nationalism of the Week Article.

A bunch of young German men (read: boys) lost their lives or were even more severely wounded. Nationalism is bullshit; it's a mask for engaging in atrocities like shooting people's arms off and blowing people up in bunkers.


I know. I often find myself losing balance without the extra leg on the ground to support myself.


Actually in this example the outcome wasn't very much changed


Can't reply, am kill.


was half tempted to do that to the guy last night...  :P


"Where'd you go, psycho boy?"

"Hulk want smash something beautiful."


gotta say, I'm going with the nurse on this one.


This comment made me vomit. Not because gross, but because I'm sick and was laughing so hard I puked. 9/10 would laughbarf again.


Probably belongs to some redneck xD


sounds like she was smarter than you


Or just fakes it cause too mad.

`--- Do not forget the downvote people. It's your stupidity proof.


Dennis is asshole. Why Charlie hate?


Are you one of these faggots that bases tips on the amount of the bill? Sorry, you're talking a "commission" not a "tip." A tip is extra. Does it really take more work for you to carry a $40 plate of food vs. a $5 plate? No, it doesn't. Let the jimmies rustle through you.


Fine. *sigh*

    $ telnet tim 80
    Trying tim...
    Connected to tim.
    Escape character is '^]'.
    GET /what-do-you-think-about-memes.html HTTP/1.1
    Host: tim
    User-Agent: peat
    Language-Accept: en-US


le upvote

Edit: holy shit!! 32 downvotes in 10 minutes, I shouldn't have said "le" on a popular thread!


This took a Sudan turn.


I found it on Facebook


I BUY MONSTER CABLES WITH EVERYTHING YOU GUYS ARE CRACKK IF U THINK IT DOESNT HELP U JUST TOO CHEAP TO BUY QUALITIE SHIT SO U GO ON REDDIT WITH HIPSTER "MONSTER CABBLE ISN'T GOOD" JUST CAUSE U CANT AFFORD THE SHIT WITH YOUR HIGH QUALITY SUPERBOWL SYSTEM.
  GOT MINE AT BESTBUY, BEST PURCHASE EVRE. EVERYTHING MONSTER CABLE IF U ARENNT CHEAPP LIKE MOST PPLZ IN THS THRED, FUCK YEA GIANTS


I hardly asked for someone to go through archives or something, I just asked if anybody had seen it before, I hadn't.


Incorrect. Having sex or bathing makes you more likely to be killed.

There hasn't been a movie in which a guy in my situation dies ;Naked, and shitting across a Wal-Mart.


Why don't you read the full comment that I made. Everyone seems to be leaving out the part where I say "I probably wouldn't lie about it" and taking the rest as a truth.

So twist is around all you want. Let the witch hunt begin.


Right, because of the metric system.


Nothing.  You do not speak for all trans people.  Your opinion is not "the trans opinion" it is the opinion of one trans person.


I don't know how he sat there so calmly.

Oh wait. Yes i do...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COS-7Zbn3Ig

This?


<---- This mean ---->


Great costumes, but you are wrong she was dressed as a fat ass whore and he was a whiny little faggot bitch.


Eli Manning has done it twice and no one said a thing.

EDIT: Thanks for my first gilding!


Ultron is not a robot in sense of "bot" that can be stopped by handwritten letters classification.


"Yes. I'll take half of everything he's having."


I'm worth more than Cory Doctorow and a whore with a phd that went to harvard, but thanks for trying to cheapen my life like that.


CAUSE THEY BOTH LIVED, RIGHT?!?

Edit: Thanks for the gold!


Let's not jinx him, he might end up with BLUEballs.


Damn baby, you're so average. You work me up like most everyone else does. Your legs go on for... a sufficient distance.


wait u know how to hack? can u give me 15th prestige plz? and i want aimbot too can u do that?


Are you shitting me right now. I never knew this.


Sounds more like some of those insults hit home and she needed an excuse to leave.


If I were the interviewer, I would be impressed with your ability to conjure hyperlinks in real life.


Lickilicky Lovers Club. I'm proud to be a part of it.


"oh my goodness. I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking!"

*wrings hat water back into cooler*


then go google foxes. why do you need reddit to pursue your interest in foxes?


>Of the many times I've played pond hockey

>these hosers

>flood your backyard for your own rink

The Canada is strong with this one.


I hate to be the "soedgy" guy, but I'd probably bitch her hiring a lawyer too, courts favor women by far in divorce. And I've seen a whole lot of guys have their lives ruined by divorce, where the wife will get custody and much more "stuff" because people tend to feel more sorry for females.


I can just imagine a big burly bikey in a leather jacket, handle-bar mustach with a beanie on sitting at one of those plastic kids tables playing tea party with a little girl, holding the cup between his thumb and middle finger with his pinky pointing out the side, sipping air, whilst playing dolls.

You my friend made me smile


This is a pretty stupid way to view sexuality. Why not slice up your cocks to pieces to see if you get a harder orgasm? Why not try raping someone to see if you like it? You should definitely make sure to experiment with burning your sexual partners unknowingly in the face while fucking them, just to see if you can feel comfortable about your sexuality.


When I first used "pipe cleaners" in school for art class, I imagines them being used to clean out the exit end of culverts and gutters, and I was struck at how inefficient a tool it seemed for the job.


LOL yeah thats a BS excuse. There is a 3 minute delay on the streams. I was comparing the official stream to the player's streams and they lined up. If it actually were an issue and they had there delays at 30 seconds (the default) then they could reset their stream for 3 minutes but this wasn't the case.


Does not work. I was laughed at. I am now embarrassed, hungry, and slightly less trusting of Redditors.

Sad Panda


This is an at your own request type of thing.  Do you or don't you?

He was banned for the very thread that he is spreading everywhere, and in actuality...  even that was caught by the spam filter.

He is a grandstanding cry baby, and if you are right behind him, you might want to reevaluate your life.


I literally don't even lift.


Don't let the door hit you on the way out.


Make sure your dick is not hanging out when you do this, it'll blow your cover.


How the fuck is a child illegitimate? Unplanned maybe


I'm very good at commenting and making votes both up and down,

And hitting f5 constantly while lounging in my dressing gown,

I understand the difference between troll face and okay guy,

And just like magic find that hours of my precious life go by.


Xenophobic, sure, but I applaud the Japanese for not letting foreigners ruin their country like most of Europe and Scandinavia are letting happen right now.


Error: Divide by zero


Why the fuck did I get downvoted?
It's not like you ameritards know geography.


Yeah, everyone knows you need [two people typing on the same keyboard](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8qgehH3kEQ) in order to get anything done.


MY DADY SAYD DAT DA BEST INSULT IS THAT DA OP IS A NIGGAR AND A FAGGIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


At the rate Comcast is going, Old TR is about to bust out of the ground on his own.


So two lesbians strippers in a relationship... would recursion happen? 'You take this dollar bill, no you take it, no you..' and so on.


Get out. Reddit has enough 13 year old dumbfucks like you already.


"Does he look like a bitch?"


Bit late for her, although we only get married in September so I suppose she still has the opportunity for escape.


Does this smell like chloroform?


I don't think I care about your shitlord opinion nearly as much as you want me to.


Wow hahaha, Cousin tested, Guts approved.


You've got a point, but don't be shitty about it.


nothing's more romantic than "i guess so", "sure"


I agree while there is nothing wrong with gay people.

Your friend is in fact most likely gay and also does not understand what is appropriate sexual behavior and what isn't. The people who cannot distinguish between appropriate and not are usually the people who rape others....or ejaculate in their head while they're sleeping.


Good on the father. That seems like the only logical thing to do there.


FFS, if you cherry picked *anyone's* words from the past few years and removed all context and tonality it would look bad.


"NEVER GONNA GI-"

aw, wtf autoplay videos

"-VE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN"

this'll do.


You know, if you like the story so much why not just go ahead and become an atheist.

If we're so awesome, why maintain a distance?


Yes I have. unless you are a highway patrol officer, in which case the answer is no :P


"haha he's small lol"- typed from a land whale via a cum stained bronie stickered pc in a dark basement


High school mob mentality can be an incredibly potent force.


Not to defend Kanye, because I would never do that, but this is a classic move in connect 4. You stage the one and then play for a bit to misdirect, next you go side by side and they block each one. You have them set up and they don't realize it until the piece is going down. It's really a pretty stupid game.


Not to mention the site issues. It still took me a while to get to this post hours after it was supposed to have finished.


Very... Although how could  B. Will. Be in it this movie was made realistically a good deal of time before he would be considered humorous.


Even better, one of those 4chan pranks like wave: http://i.imgur.com/TX9dbK6.jpg


Fuck off just enjoy what people submit and so what if it's fake, it's entertaining -_-


That guy has gained so much karma this month that it's like hes stuck in a grain elevator with a bobby pin.

Jesus fuck.


* 1. Why would your "buddy" give you this photo?
* 2. Why would you post a private photo on the net without consent?

Is there something here that you're not telling us?  Something that would make you seem like less of a douche?  Because right now you're in my top 10 list of douchiest things that you can do to a friend and his wife.


Not codenamed, Ice Cream Sandwich was the actual name for Android 4.0.


It's cute how poor people have bandwidth caps.


When Detroit is ashes, you have my permission to comply.


Typical nigger behavior. I bet Obama does the same shit. That's what happens when we let niggers run countries.


And then he wipes his ass with a hundred dollar bill...and hes like oh ya.


haha posted another comment double the karma right?

<- click that shit


Everyone likes a happy ending.


MOMMY WAT DID DA MAN SAYD ABOOT DA TETACOOL??????????? GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #BETA4LYFE


He actually died due to the barb being removed. There was no animal in his heart.

Source - The fun guy at parties


Jesus fucking Christ you people love this cirlcjerk.

It's like you somehow feel better about your own lives just calling him a turd or whatever every time you can.

He cut it off because he was brought back to make the fledgling company profitable. It was on the brink of collapse and he cut a bunch of projects as well as the charity. How hard is that to even grasp?


Thanks for rocking out.


MOMMY WAT ID DA APETOL SCIENCE HANHEWD POTOL DEVICE???????????? GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


We aren't your cousins.


Steam is the walmart of games, only, the products are made in USA.


Nothing says true love like a mummified pig fetus :')


that's what I was here for, thanks lol


And additional testing if you want to register an SUV or pickup, so you actually have to learn how to keep it completely in your lane and park properly.


You mean imaginary Internet points? It hurts deeply.


That's like one of my biggest fears, that I order a pizza and the guy crashes in front of my house and I can't get the pizza because that would be inappropriate and the car is on fire, and I wouldn't be able to call for another pizza because of the ambulances and firetrucks in front of my house and it would also be inappropriate, then I starve to death.


You left out the word "fucks."


I'm sorry, that is actually the **Adele** rolling in the deep.


yea this is a fucking bullshit story, i bet you're a neckbeard


In my experience:

Yes = Maybe

Maybe = No, but I don't have a valid excuse

No = No, I have a valid excuse

No reply = No, but I really don't have any excuse at all, hopefully you'll just think I didn't see the invite


Australia isn't a country.


My grandma lives with us that helped. but my mom is extremely observant and kept me in view constantly


...Except the Nexus Q wasn't a success, and neither was the AppleTV so far, and people said exactly those things ;)

It's funny, but it's jsut not true and this sub is jerking to this so hard ('OMG THE APPLE WATCH WILL BE THE BEST THING EVER AND EVERYBODY WILL WANT ONE!') it's disgusting :p


Not me. Too busy thinking about dinosaurs to get cues from women.


Well, maybe if he communicated with clarity, we would know. What the hell does "drunk under the table by people" mean? Was he sucked off? Watersports?


No they brought it inside, let it thaw, and gave him a fish as a treat before they let him go.


I played that in the Beta I think, but skipped all dialog because fuck story, I didn't want to read a book, I wanted to PLAY a GAME.

But yes, that obscure snippet of dialog stands out in my mind for every other game.


aww so sad, you gonna cry? waterworks? squirt a little tear? po' baby! momma needs to change yo diaper? you want some kiss kiss? maybe a little snack for your tummy wummy?? awwwww.


He fell down the elevator shaft and was left in a coma with serious brain damage. Unfortunately, the only neurosurgeon skilled enough to treat him was himself.


just be sure to wrap it.


And holocaust victims.


I'm going to be *that guy* and ask that you don't perpetuate the use of 'rape' in the gaming community. Please, don't.


This is huge. College campuses are STD infested. Good god. I know way too many people who get STD's. It's almost expected.


Fat and ugly, no wonder she was a dumbass attention whore.


Once you poop the fun don't... stoop.


You do realize I've been here a hell of a lot longer than you. I'm sorry I take strength training seriously.


The author of that article missed out on a chance to say "ROFLMEOW"


proving SRD is a downvote brigade


Come on dad wash the mans shirt


what? are you talking about


that's uh NIGGER INDIA GOLF GOLF ECHO ROMEO


if you like bodyboarding go to www.bootike.com this is a picture from that site.


Is it sad I bookmarked this to read later because I realized I'm already procrastinating, so I'm procrastinating reading this article?


So he's bullshitting too! :)


He's a modern major general.


Until PSG offers us 40+ for him


"Honey look! The hand prints are too big to be a woman's!"  Sure - that'll go over real well.


Are you trying to act circlejerky about an unpopular opinion in this sub? The circlejerk is "omg yeezus 10/10 soty masterpiece bout 2 listen now" for every Kanye release. This track was shit. Shit-tier singing over autotune.


At least she laughed.


I've worked with Osama Bin Laden. Does that mean everyone on Reddit will believe me without proof and upvote me too?


Pet detectives have similar perks.


Disappointed to see this liberal bias crossed over to /r/tech. I can't read r/politics for the same reason. Can't go anywhere on reddit anymore without immature anti-American / anti-government remarks.


You left the unitards and leopard thongs in your laundry basket


Oh fuck, /r/atheism is leaking again.

But seriously OP. ask yourself if you want to be with a girl that holds to these values. Ask yourself if you can ever be happy with this level of ignorant. There is enough boob out there, I'd move on.


Best case scenario, instant death for everyone!


Warmoob?  More like GAY-moob.


We got a fence, and a state full of fierce cowboys who love guns, and alcohol, and god. God forbid anyone invades from the north. They'll be met with skinny jeans begging for Starbucks. I say that as someone who has lived in Seattle and the north for all my life (25 years)


There is, by definition, no thread that would be appropriate in both SRD and ToR. If it's appropriate in SRD, it is **not** appropriate for ToR.

<*waves to /r/SubredditDrama*>

Hi, guys. Enjoy your stay in /r/TheoryOfReddit.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.


Could you give me a second? I'm at my mother's funeral for fuck's sake!


But when she wins it, she can use it for sexy time bribes. ;)

Edit: I'm joking, of course.


That seems like a weird time to have visions of a man.


Do you partake? Would you consider trying if not? I could lend a helping hand!


Bro came equipped with his own trophy.


I don't feel as it is such a big event. Death happens.


Plot twist: the Grammy's are paying him for his outbursts now.


Milf? Maybe if you're twelve.


"WHO ARE YOU GUYS?!?"

"We're StarFox"

"You'll never defeat ANDROOOOOSSSSSSS


I don't understand why people are so enamored with this long winded tale of a few pilots one upping each other that there's now a bot that posts it every time the blackbird is posted. I've read it twice and it was boring both times. Bring on the downvotes.


You, are a true scientist.


Break that habit. If you're doing something wrong and people point it out, why would you not fix it?


"Canada didn't start a fight with those Middle Eastern boys!"

EDIT: geopolitical accuracy, also thanks for thinking my comment was worth four bucks


I am here independently. I am not leading a "charge." Not my fault you all want to cry in your little corners hosting these brigades against our sub to make yourselves feel better.

But no you all will deny that huh? Because you guys are all special snowflakes who aren't ever in the wrong.


Doesn't matter, I'll still be seeing facebook posts and memes about it for years to come. I already am.

"The King of Jordan is out bombing terrorists. Meanwhile, our fearless Obama is playing golf. Saddle up, Obama!" Hurr durr


agreed.  its selfish for other people to want to feel good.  they should do what i want to do what i want to do, by my rules, when we're together.  that would be much more **reasonable.**


The fact that he's got $8M to give away means the laws don't apply to him.


Or, he was teaching you a life lesson, and making you do it yourself.


I prefer fresh shaved balls.. but whatever, I'll try anything once.


20 percent now? So if they make five $50 deliveries in a hour, they net $50/hr? Seems a little excessive, don't you think?


She should probably still save.


Fuck him, Im sure he got several generous offers.  Think of all the people this effects.

edit: look at all these armchair libertarians


I knew of Reddit and sort of how it worked, but nowhere near this directly.


it isn't. It's just at an awkward angle and the ball goes in front of his left hand. It's easier to see in this [gif](https://gfycat.com/FlippantEmptyHypacrosaurus) he just did a little cross.


That sounds pretty nice actually.

I'm so alpha I can admit that and not feel threatened.


Pretty sure if you have any serious problems with porn or masturbating, there's something seriously ill in your mind.


Cool, I think this post is done. Thanks everyone!


so happy your faggot father is dead, hopefully his son will soon be next :)


Man I really don't want Stan Lee to doe.


And I wouldn't post in a programming forum when I'm a toilet cleaning major.


As a former Marine myself I can guess with relative certainty that those Marines are a particularly odd combination of scared and positively beside themselves with excitement.


haha found me out. I actually WAS looking through my old far side comics and I wanted to scan the pic, but I got lazy and looked it up on the web. Stumbled on that pic. Good catch


lik dis if u cry ever tim


It's easy to say you wouldn't now.


My wife would notice by breakfast.


Reddit isn't any different from 4chan or SA. Your point is moot really, if you post shitty memes or other people's macros for karma then you're stealing.


That name inspired this question


I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIIIIS SHIP. AND I WON'T PUT MY HANDS UP... AND SURRENDERRR


> Once did it with my rugby team.

I'm not judging you or your sex life but what does this have to do with laser tag?

Obligatory Gold Edit; So many upvotes, I feel like the target at a rugby team's bukkake party and I even got a golden shower out of it. I am blessed. Thanks! Does anyone have a towel?


Don't mess with their pretend video game world or they'll get annnnnnngry!


Have you tried cold turkey?


Sure, but he was TK'ing before this too.


She's a strong, independent lawyer who don't need no evidence.


You realize that women are raped in prisons everyday right? Your joke isn't even remotely resembling anything funny and it is raped themed. Excellent work killing humor. It's dead now and we can all blame Klacksaft. All cause he had to make light of rape of female prisoners, something that happens everyday by the hundreds of thousands in countries like Uganda. Bravo classy gent, bravo.


Cripple here. At least you have the power to change it.


Well it's better to move forward than be mopey about it. Nobody likes a drag.


Is your name "Allen"? Or am I being accidentally racist again...


Sounds like you are trying to blame Jess for Jane letting some French dude get balls deep in her.

Jane's the one who fucked Ryan.


There is also the idea that because he was a marine it is less okay.


wait, he got downvoted for saying the truth? this country is really goin to the niggers...

edit: i did ponder over the down votes, and the only reason I came up with is that I assumed its a 'he'. That or the country has already gone to the niggers.


The background was green, and now its blue. Can't explain that.


Goddammit. I was going to post that.


Up the ante.

File a Restraining Order.


Joke of the moment.  Q: What is Mozart doing right now?  A: Decomposing.


Besides, he's playing for pity.


Closet pedo and/or gay detected


I like you. You've got one of those "the strap on is half in" versus "half out" kind of attitudes.


Seriously, why do you people even have a problem with overweight people. They leave you alone, so why don't you leave them alone, it's time to remember that we're humans too. Imagine if your desire for food was 10x what it is now, and that every bite made you gain twice as much fat, and that for every mile you run you only lose 1 calorie. Maybe now you'll treat us more like humans.


My girlfriend's parents called me a pedophile because I'm 30 and she's 18. It really kind of spoiled our 10th anniversary dinner.


well i am trying to change what the truth is


"You're not a woman until people come out of your vagina and step on your dreams."

-Louis C.K.


Hey. Shut the fuck up.


Well... I don't think I could pick one, but among the many that I liked, I liked when Tina and I got married inadvertently because the French yacht captain married us by mistake, and I could never quite understand what he was saying. I thought that was funny. And probably anything with Elaine Stritch, who played my mom.


As a European, you should be aware that America has the worst safety record of any country. Which shouldn't surprise you because it's all about $$ there. Most of the major US airlines have been banned from entering Canadian airspace.


Or handheld showerheads


I do.

[:p](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7pGZudN8rE)


I suspect that whoever works at that Papa John's is making some money on the side selling leftover pies and not ringing them up. I've never heard of this either and managed several Papa John's.


Who the hell is we? Do you speak for all of Anonymous? I thought you were anonymous. What happened to no cohesive structure. Shut up kid. You make your group, that doesn't exist, look retarded.


I think part of the reason no one thinks of him being around that late is that he basically got blacklisted in the 40s for criticizing capitalism and opposing the repression of communists, so he didn't really have the cultural significance after that.  He was eventually banned from the US.


I mean, really.

Jesus Fucking Christ OP, get a life.


That...that...was awesome. I have a boner now.


Children come first. The fucking whiny loser should be willing to chop himself up into spare parts for his kid if that is needed... and he's complaining about a dog?


And this is why I always start my computer *before* I hook it up to the projector.

EDIT:  Seriously?  Over a thousand upvotes for crap like *this*?  This is why I can't take big subreddits seriously anymore.


She is an Arab attention whore who uses her ethnicity to promote herself.


War does not determine who is right, only who is left.


Cops are losers in general. That's why they're cops.


"You are forgiven, sir.  But no presents this year."


Marijuana is addictive. My friend once injected 4 marijuanas using a needle and had an overdose!


YOU HAVE THAT BOOK THAT THE MONSTERS WERE TRYING TO GET?  If you want to get rid of it just give it to me and you'll get rid of it by giving it to me!


Can't discuss a god damn thing here without the idiots flooding in.


my brother thought the same thing when he was younger. Since he was the youngest my sister and I would always try to blame stuff on him, and in a panicked voice he'd tell my mom, "I'm being haved!"


active for 1 month? calling out novelty accounts doesn't make a joke better.


Where the FUCK is your Target?


Get over it, it's funny dipshit.


SpongeBob comes to mind


Just spent 2 minutes trying to understand what in the hell you were talking about, until I realized you meant Day/night being a 1/0 restone outut or something. This should be made more obvious. Not everyone thinks the same way you do!


Good Guy Scumbag Steve


A fan! You can have my autograph at the rally!


> AK track suit guy

The everyday hero Russia deserves.


How about you go fuck yourself, and leave scouting alone.

If you are gay, why would you want to be part of an organization that doesn't accept you to begin with?

Period.


hahaahahaahha. this is great. if you don't get this, look up the track "celebrity golf" on "My secret public journal live." it's free on spotify or expensive on itunes.


Promotion of Alchohol abuse, risk taking behavior, violence as a acceptable  course of action, and many others just a few listed [here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masculinity#Downside_and_failure_of_concept).


I've always seen respect in the opposite light. You don't need to earn my respect. It's yours unless you give me a reason not to respect you.


CR7 has 3 ballon d'ors, how many does tap-in merchant Inzaghi have??

###0

the disrespect CR7 gets from Messi fanboys is fucking stupid, they all have Messi's cock down their throats..


My fiancé and his sister would do the opposite. When they were out in public they would pretend to be a couple and verbally abuse each other or push each other until they started getting looks. They thought it was hilarious and I'm sure a lot of people were concerned


If anybody downvotes the comment above, you're doing it because you don't want my comment to be valid.

The comment above is all too true. Upvotes for you.


so that's how babies are made.


So he tells the people who made the decision right to their faces that he knows better than they do? There's a fine line between saying the other nominees deserve an award as much as you do, and saying the judges made the wrong decision. From where I'm standing, Kanye is nowhere near that line; he's far past it. He could just learn to accept an award graciously...


You should have apologized instead of pretending it didn't happen. Then there wouldn't have been an issue. But you made it an issue by ignoring the situation.


i am the guy who got the call to the office when anything happened. so somebody assumed it was me (rightly), and called me down, they had called the non emergency line of the police station to see if it was illegal, the cops were not sure at the time, so the school gave them my info.


It should actually be "We can make up a reason for anything that happens."


Because why not. People will come here even more ;)


And food. It's already probably the worlds second biggest vice. We'd all obsess over food and post sexy pics of it. Like, more than we do now anyway. Imagine magazines of sexy food.

Also, drug use. So much drugs. All the drugs.


Apparently faggot is offensive and requires downvoting even when it's funny :/


lets be honest, you were definitely going to.


A cancer patient is a hell of a lot more deserving of aid than an elderly woman who can't ignore little children insulting her... For crying out loud why is the internet going ape shit retarded because little children were being little children, and a 70 year old woman couldn't ignore them...


Your definition of *being a man* should be in the dictionary.

Edit: spelling


I volunteer at two local rescues, and have been doing so for years. I don't know how I sound "ignorant" when I don't want these shitty bottom feeders breeding more kittens that have to be euthanized later on. It's like taking a picture of a cute sad-eyed foster kid for internet points, then giving that kid back to his irresponsible and abusive foster parents.


I do this. I'm not even a seagull


I thought it was mildly amusing but clearly written by someone still in highschool. Write every day.


"Okay, Harry and Voldemort are about to fight."

"Harry is sticking two fingers up at Voldemort, indicating that he wishes Voldemort would go and fuck himself."

"Voldemort is now mooning Harry. The Police came to arrest Voldemort because Harry is still under age."


All fun and games until you wake up your little brother because your skin got snagged on the upper bunk while corn holing your girlfriends slop bucket.


Obviously I do not know the whole story, but if all he said was "she came back to my room after the date" he might not have realized the implications, especially not if he's some sort of autistic.


/u/premiumgolduser said that only fat cunts are upvoting the pic so if you have issues with being called a fat cunt, take it up with them.

Also, I'm getting the timer because of the votes so I'll likely respond through edits, if at all, from now on.


"Just a drawing of Link pissing on an EA logo my girlfriend made for me while I was out getting a Nintendo 64 from a garage sale."


To be fair, she has to be fucking someone to have that job.


give your mom a call.


wow,  he was black?! youre so brave!
how come peoples races never get mentioned unless they're black? unless you're suggesting the rape would have been okay otherwise. in that case, my apologies.


I think we all had some intuition but it varied. I think at one point I thought he just had to urgently use the bathroom, maybe one of his aids farted next to him? That was my mindset for a second or two until I noticed his expression was a little too grave for that


If you liked Quake Live, you may enjoy [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)


Yea, incredibly irresponsible. What happens when he drops that Nokia phone? The impact crater would probably take out the whole city.


Better yet, 2x Secretkeeper. Name is close enough, reap the hunter tears, and glory for dat ass.


Beer + Shower = Bower

Fap + Beer + Shower = Jack Bauer


And because you can't understand this comment is precisely why you were banned.


My best guess? She's full of shit.


M2k is rapidly falling off and deteriorating. Not a good pick up.


i think you mean "The Bourne University"


It's informed and not tasteless.. Suicide is not right & it can't be justified no matter who does it. Though he impacted my life through his performance as well, his death isn't something to glorify him about.


At least they don't scream when they see my wee wee anymore.


NSFW does not translate boobs or gore.


ZUCKERBERG DON'T FIRE THIS ONE HE'S COOL


great fucking comment dude.  awesome stuff.


I'm reading that now, Douglas Adams was insanely clever. And it gets really dark at the end.

Arthur Dent: "What's so bad about being drunk?"

Ford Prefect: "Go ask a glass of water."


Can people stop downvoting karmanaut? People want to see what they are saying, and downvoting isn't supposed to be used for stuff you disagree with.


thank you.. I appreciate it alot.


imo theyre the pro version of mobis, mobis are a fucking noob trap


Reddit's already got reporters on the scene. Awesome.


JRR Tolkien: Lord of the Rings

Magic ring that enslaves Middle Earth needs to be destroyed in a volcano; too bad the Giant EAGLES that save the heroes at the end couldn't have just flown them there to begin with.
 [Camp Activity Book](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00192NO2E?ie=UTF8&tag=polidebanews-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=B00192NO2E).


No because she's barren and can't have children.

Jerk.


If you don't know the name of the level then don't try the joke.


The company who runs our online system collectives has business downs.


is the pope catholic? and making the world safe for pedophiles?


Seriously, last time at the hair dressers, a new girl was massaging my head and was doing it so well that I started breathing heavily. Somewhat surprised she asked if everything's alright and I couldn't even manage to form words but only gave a throaty moaning-like sound from me. Her colleague next just said: "this means he likes it"


Why does someone saying they live in SF make them an authority on everything gay? Excluding the Castro SF really isn't a particularly gay city...


This.  People in the comments seem to think this was about the US somehow?  I got the impression he was respecting his fellow athlete's moment.  It didn't matter what national anthem started playing -- the point was to stop and recognize the hard work and triumph of someone who sacrificed to stand there.


Fuck yes, I'm gonna eat that comment!


Dammit. I've been had...was still funny tho. I don't regret anything!


They don't think it be like it is, but it do.


Same here.  He is not qualified to give any advice at all yet people worship him because his ideas are edgy and "out there."  Three years ago when he was a freshman nutrition student people worshiped him like he was their fitness god and couldn't take a step back and see that he was and always will be harmful to the community.


I'm officially a Larry King fan now.


kevin dont make us give you the Steven Bonnell II treatment..


Yeah, but soon after that it'll become so sharp it cuts between light particles so it can only cut invisible things.


RERDERT ERND PERNS ERGERN, SERGH.


Sounds to me like your husband is an asshole.


Halo sucks anyway. Real war doesn't involve all the bright colors of the rainbow.

Edit: So does COD.


He hasn't come back yet, so who knows.


Wow, that fucking sucks. Not going to be buying this one.


Oh, do hurry up and clean out the litter tray, won't you darling? I've got a turd that's fit to split me from arsehole to pissflaps if I'm not careful.


Just for making this comment I downvoted both of yours.


(\ . 0 .)\

              ノ( º - ºノ)
Don't worry, I'll catch you


does he know you're whoring him out on reddit?


You better run better run, out run my cum.


And your kind of comment is exactly why she wouldn't come near this shit hole.


There is no grandson. There is, however, a very confused meter reader who's been locked in her basement for about a month.


Upvote for creativity


I'm 6'6'' and i can't wait to use this


Can't read past first line of text - not worth my time.

Enjoy being a non-factor.


I now understand the difficulties 4-legged creatures face when confronted with going down the stairs


> Surprise! I'm black.


>and the karma doesn't matter.

And where we lie a lot


you're just as bad :3. unless you're mocking him?


Come on now. Similar puzzle games have been around forever.


(For us English aristocrats, I leave you this 3,000 miles -> 24000.0 Furlongs) - Pip pip cheerio chaps!


That's the moment she realised her bf really IS that dumb.


That King should be the only player in Premier League, while Henry played, who was able to get the ball from him without using fouls.


Well, you're forgetting that I've been getting death threats everyday as well. Reddit is making a joke out of me, and you're all laughing at my expense and safety.


Hey man that's a really good point, you seem like a- (glances at username)

...nevermind


The intense stare? The woman walking away with the downcast eyes? Everything about it screams "rape culture." No, "just because you stare at someone doesn't mean you want to rape them" but it is rude and can be quite creepy. Women do not exist to be objects for the enjoyment of men.


\*unsubscribes from /r/atheism\*


Maybe there are some idiots who do that disgusting and shameful behaviour, but they are by far not even 0.0001% of the Muslims. However it is known that your people wilingly do it and broadcast it to the world for money.

Wonder what we think of you? lol


Grab his cock. That should do it


gay casual leaguefaggots


I think that for the most part sex for everyone the first time is pretty "not great."


I kinda wish the "Booper" gets laid out by the "boopie"


"This is the captain speaking. We're just making sure the plane won't break up 40,000 feet above ground and sucking your soon to be lifeless corpse out of that tiny window next to you. Thanks for your cooperation as you kindly **SHUT THE HELL UP**."


I came here for this comment, and I have left satisfied.


Me. They ain't got nobody. - Shaq


because she lied to them, and admitted lying. is there any doubt she lied? Maybe not lying about who your abductor and rapist is, is key to solving a case of rape and abduction.

just maybe.


You're gonna be disappointed with the results. Just like they were! Zoinks!


Nope, if my boyfriend did this, I'd punch him in the face. First I'd have to have a boyfriend...maybe I should stop punching men in the face.

Source: gay face-puncher


We're looking for a boom box. Then we're going to get some card board at set up in random places hyping people up like we're going to dance. Seeing as we can't dance, we're going wait till a large group gathers an then pack up and leave.


Nobody else noticed this guy's username?

Edit: It appeared at first glance that /u/ChristianDefence88 was a neo-Nazi from the 88 in his name. I'm not a fedora-tipping atheist, I don't give a crap what his religion is. (I'm Christian myself.)


When all you have is a hammer, every problem becomes a nail.


Haha, get beat up by any girls lately?


Hi, my name is

My name is

Hi, my name is

My name is Jeff.


He deserves to be held accountable for his actions. The end.


/u/SpirallingOut of control more like


**LOL STUPID WHEELCHAIR BOUND CRIPPLE HAD CANCER IN HIS BALLS**

CRIPPLES ARE FUCKIN STUPID WHY WOULD WE EVER ELECT A GOD DAMN GIMP TO OFFICE?


Or a man and his cat. Sir Magnifico the Fuzziest will stay with me forever.


It's brush damn it not bush. I mean I know bush makes sense for the joke but it's brush as in a brush of Grass, as opposed to bush, as in a bush.

http://na.leagueoflegends.com/learn/gameplay/brush


Flip a coin, tails? or tails?


You say this after viewing this picture on the internet.


Oh god dammit, i just realized I got trolled hard


hey man im just trying to expose a conspiracy here


Ran out of paint, sorry.


The hot news anchor at the end? I know right!


"Hey there Delilah, won't you show me them big titties?"


Shit title. Shit top comment. Shit post.


This comment wasn't even directed at me, and I still got burned just from reading it.


> As a person who identifies with my sex, nothing gets me more mad than people feeling different things than me.

uh huh. i have to guess that gender and sex are polar opposites to you.  good times on the interwebs or not so much?


I speak as infrequently as I can because honestly speaking like a woman for 45 minutes at a time hurts.


What's your problem? He's not there to talk to you. If he's paying attention and not holding up the line then shut the fuck up and serve the man. Some people can multitask, you know ...


Thank you! Wow! You're the KSP guys, I love your game! How many are you guys? If you are ~4 or more(enough to get a decent game going) I could send you guys an updated version of the game.

EDIT:  Using this comment for visibility:
You can download the alpha over at /r/AirBrawl!


i wasnt complaining though ?


But how did you clean your ass?


I may get downvoted for this, but he might as well have said "I'm a gigantic nerd" (-:

No seriously... what a waste of time and money... the person who thought of it must have had a thimble full of creativity too (-:

I suggest that the cheap husband get a proper **DIAMOND** ring like a *REAL MAN* (-: haha

I am **DOWNVOTING** the original post as it encourages people to be cheap (-:


ABBAaaabaababadaaadadaaaaa!  They didn't say that, I just made it up.


So was he doing it for ransom? What happened to the guy in the end? And, how did you get rescued? Thanks for answers!


I get the reference you're making, but in the interest of accuracy I have to tell you that A) Squirrel Girl isn't super rich, and B) flying squirrels actually just glide, Rocky and Bullwinkle notwithstanding.


Probably is a mixture of you having a stronger immune system as well as less likelihood of being exposed to it in general


Your RES tag is "Dick how misnames posts" because you are a dick who misnames posts


You are awesome. The world needs more of you.


The fact that I can't see the pole makes me wary that it's a fake... (ya'll got some more of those upvotes if I say it's real?)


Alright guys, let's keep this about Rampart.


Awwwww your optimism is adorable

Edit: Damn. Taking a one off lighthearted bit of trash talk way too seriously


Let's not forget that the Adele was while taking a bubble bath.


That's depressing, that somewhere down the line i'm suddenly at fault for deleting keys.

I could have just, ya-know, saved them because an open edit google doc link floating around /v/ is probably as likely to get deleted as well, anything /v/ can do to fuck with people.


Griffin So Creepy Kiritsy.

Very interesting name indeed.


> just a shot in the dark?


You may be surprised to find that some of the most racist people out there, still enjoy black culture. There are plenty of racists that will listen to music by black people and watch them performer. It happened in the past and it happens now.

We can perform for them, we can serve them, we can be nannies to their children, but we can't be equals with them.


eh he should have dumped her at the hospital. unless he has a damaged goods fetish or something. especially if she was raped by a bunch of black guys she must be stretched to shit afterwards


> This made a lot of people very angry and has widely been regarded as a bad move.


they weren't going to buy the humble bundle from the charity anyway, so there's really no lost revenue to the charity. It's not stealing.


its insane how much i read this in your voice


All over an argument where she was probably wrong to begin with.


TIL turtles get excited.


Maybe she was saying what gullible fools you all are to swallow the whole Pallywood propaganda bullshit hook, line and stinker.


Can't think of any puns but people are pretty dirty, asking if anyone has made me call them Mike Wazowski in bed...
the answer, if you're curious, is no ahaha


before or after he tries to murder you?


Yeah, think of all the karma he'll get.


I love how women don't even get the simplest of things. In fact, American women especially, have grown so entitled they actually think expecting something like this is outlandish. Know your place whores.


Sure_Ill_Draw_That, Shitty_Watercolour, Etch_A_Sketcher, now SUDDENLY_MSPAINT?

What's next, let_me_squat_down_and_shit_that_into_a_vaguely_recognizable_shape_for_you?


True. But it's worse with women.


It's when he says, "No." that it starts working.


You wouldn't know what it's like to earn that right. It's not humiliating from her end, she earned it.


You're blowin' my mind, maaaan


It's been a while since I came to /r/soccer, good to see the condescension is still rife.


This literally answers everything.


So do I, but you don't see me complaining!

Edit: You fools, you're only making me stronger!


But not you Padme, you're soft and squishy like a wet vagina...


No,but misogyny is. They hit us with misandry we hit them with misogyny. Let them feel our pain. They've caused us anguish so we return anguish right back on them. Fight fire with fire.


Haha, I prefer using the helicopter. It was intense! :) :)


wow really.....thats what u get out of this?


It's a shame he had to find out this way.


> Ummm nothing about what you've posted about him makes him seem good either...he puts his son in a playpen so he can enjoy time to himself?

You know, out of all the things wrong with him, putting a child in a playpen to enjoy time for yourself is not one of them.


Shit jedi, get it together.


False.  This would happen whether or not the physicists had modeled the situation.  Equations do not dictate to nature, they attempt to describe her.


That's him alright, the fucking ~~hypocrite~~ cunt.


How pathetic this generation is that they expect sympathy from those who have simply worked hard in life.


And he said "nay, I am but man." Rock. -*rips shirt and performs rad guitar solo*-


Were, dammit! WERE!

Sorry, had to let that out.


^^to ^^small! **TO BIG!** ^^to ^^small! **TO BIG!**


But the way he presented himself in the post E! interview.  He refused to have the E! symbol on his microphone, he got upset, he about beck and told the Grammys to stop messing around and take artists seriously.  I was a huge fan of Graduation, but you don't think kanye is a little koo-koo??


But how is everyone supposed to know I am the 420 chief toker?


Not me. I hate Sikhism(is that a word?). More con-men manipulating staggering fools. Give your head a shake.


I think CashAndBuns deserves Reddit Shit for that.


I explained family court in a different post.

The draft? "Women are too weak to be in combat." Yeah, that's totally misandry, men being held up as the stronger sex.


I knew a guy name Osama in high school. Later in college I was working at a grocery store, and I see this guy who kinda looks like him. This is a couple years after 9/11. So I turn and say "Osama?". Bad idea, the guy took it as a racist remark.

In hindsight I could have used more tact.


ARRRR, I'm shakin in me boots, tough guy!


This is perfectly adequate proof. Please stop reporting this post, everybody.


If you get cancer before your 40 you're either really unlucky or you've voluntarily made irresponsible lifestyle choices.


In the post-apocalyptic wasteland, you can't be slowing down the other survivors with that fucked up knee


hitler killed himself derp


Ummmmmmm what the fuck?


People just don't understand science. Jet fuel can't melt steel beams, end of story...


*When white people dread their hair

FTFY


Name checks out...

EDIT: Touchy much?


COD? So *he's* the one that's been fucking my mother...


... is what I say to expectant mothers who think they should get everything first.


>I am the only survivor of a family of 83 people.

*Holy shit.*

I've never had any doubts about how devastating the Holocaust was, but that **really** puts things in perspective.


Who are basically just an excuse for Space Marines to be in Alien and still fit into the canon...


None of the above. - Chuck


ur a fag, dont mix fallout (epic game) with portal (gaytacular game)...thanx.


The kind of company who say you're a good employee just for being in on time and sober, I guess.


>Those are anti-Semites. People who hate Jewish people

Are they?? Do you actually believe this?

http://vho.org/Intro/GB/index.html


I don't have a TV. Thanks for not asking.


Sigh I just realized that, le fuck.


Oh yeah.. I'm dedicated to my job son.


Get off ur high horse....just because the Jets and bills haven't been that great doesn't mean their fortunes can't change...example being your organization over the past 20 years


My wife was a Make-a-Wish kid and got to go to Disney. I tease her about cheating the system, since she didn't die.


Lets face it, it does look comfortable...


Thanks for the brief look into presidential life Mr. President


Dude this is much more than a career/job. Football players have certain responsibilities. The players/clubs are followed religiously, you will piss a lot of people of if you decide to play for a rival. Rivalry between clubs is a huge deal you don't mess with that.


Did you take him home and eat him?


Upvoted for the sake of you shutting the fuck up.

Does it work?


"Tony here noticed your Frosted Flakes sales are not grrrrrrreat."


I said it a few times now. I felt I should play it safe just in case. If anything I would suspect a NSFW tag would decrease my karma gain since a huge number of us browse reddit at work, in class, and generally in public places where many would not like to open NSFW material. The downvote train on all of my comments should counteract any extra karma I gained from the NSFW tag anyways.


I agree. Every time i think of a child beauty pageant judge, i imagine some 50 something dude who has a pony tail and his hand in his pants saying " oh yeah i like this one" in christian bales batman voice.


Who would you like to vote for president in 2016?

- Republican

- Democrat

- Nobody

Let me know how that works out.


SHIT ON DEBORAH's DESK

Edit: like a boss


Canada sucks, move to a real country like America asshole. Who wants to be on some stupid little canadian radio show? Oh, thats right, one of those muslim terrorists rioting over in that shithole country they call the middle east.


Every time you drink Sam Adams..you're tasting **FREEDOM**


The other point is that even if this were true, it's still not worth upvoting. It's a shitty post about a Diablo 3 beta invite. That's not worth sharing with strangers.


All hail Ra, the giver of life!


Lol I love my -40 in a few hours.
They lost subs by the millions and did a 180 for WoD to make up for it.
I'm so sorry you all disagree with my totally valid opinion and feel the need to down vote it to oblivion.


And thus Google+'s userbase became 90% sex offenders.


Nope. The funny ones are these people that believe you can be born with a penis yet still be considered a female. That's some priceless comedy.


I think 'fine' and 'bleeding profusely' contradict.


I signed in just to downvote this.


Yippie-kai-yay, Mr. Falcon (on Fox).


Well fuck you guys who down voted me no worries was just trying to show some love but u haters won't stop me when hate is needed I shall provide but when someone beats me to it I shall show love... Haters are just pieces of crap that let me know I'm doing right


Would his finger have been saved if he had gotten actual medical attention and anti-venom? (Or does this not exist for Western Diamondback snakes?)


I can rape a woman with my eyes?


Well not exactly. It's Cadbury's chocolate, but not the exact formula used in Britain. It's not the same Hershey's branded chocolate though.


Yeah, I am also struggling to see what was funny about this.

Looking at the comments, it seems like the humor lies in the fake Australian accent?


The best surprise was no penis


Yawn, these stories are all the same. At least mix it up and throw in  a prolapse or two.


Relieved that you can eat pussy like a boss?


I don't always fire in full auto. But when I do, I drink Dos Equis.


Well..I..

uh.

Yeah, okay.


"Alternative fapping material"

Are you fucking kidding me?


> You can believe NASA, or you can believe...the Senator with the snowball.

> You can believe the Navy, or you can believe...the Senator with the snowball.

> You can believe the Pope, or you can believe...the Senator with the snowball.

> You can believe Coke, Pepsi, Walmart, VF Industries, Nestle, and Mars, or you can believe...the Senator with the snowball.

Damn dude.


too many ugly browns though.


I frankly liked the love story between Tony Stark and Bruce Banner a lot better.


Jesus I'm getting downvoted because everyone is missing the joke? This sub is worse than /r/funny .


Seriously, this pizza guy is a hero.


He clearly stated that he is not interested in people who rely on the government and those who do not pay taxes. I believe that wounded vets fit both descriptions.


Yeah, but missing the bus in the dead of winter is even less flattering, to me.


you, sir.. are an idiot


I've been seeing it a lot here and it's quite offensive to me and to some people o.o not that I can do anything about it.


And that completely changed how I was picturing this in my head.


**This sucks OP and looks shopped tbh. Nice try though OP**


Wha.... What are they made of?


cool story, bro.
wooooosssshhh!


Not that this is bad advice, but what does any of this have to do with being a man? I'd like women to act this way too.


We do not encourage cheating, indulging, or otherwise willfully ingesting food and drink that are bad for you.

If this is something you disagree with, I believe you've found the wrong subreddit with which to occupy your time.


In all seriousness, the value you get in the freedom of working from home is immeasurable. If you can do it and sustain your life, you must do it. If life is really about the journey, then being forced to go to some place you hate and be with people who annoy you during the best time of the day 5 days of the week...  well that journey sucks balls.


Are you trying to say that you guys aren't currently shit?

Edit: aww man, I just reread that and it sounds mean as hell. I'm sorry. Hang in there, bud, I know what it's like to have a really bad team. You guys have a lot of potential, you'll get better, I promise!


Oh come on; we've all masturbated to our siblings.....right? Guys?


I am sure that doctors have more knowledge than me, and I don't have anything against doctors. But with whatever knowledge and skills I have, I am still able to help my clients. Also I respect my clients enough to know that they are the ones who are in charge of their healing. I am only a guide and facilitator.


kmko l;.' mn, hyu78 l;, himo


I'm downvoting because it's possibly the worst show I've ever seen. I'd even go as far to say it's cringier than tbbt


You took my question! Also: "Get a job yet?" or "Interviewing much?" or "The market is improving! You should have a job in no time!"

Don't wanna talk about it. It's not a conversation piece to me. It sucks. I hate it. Being unemployed makes me depressed, every single day. Even when I *do* have good interviews, I don't want to talk about them, because so far they have gone nowhere. :(


I guess God missed the memo that you're the new judge of when it's okay for people to die.


Your mom was a saint. I hope you are able to help her out today.


Some shit parent took way too long making this. So lame.


Racecar backwards is still racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.

^sorry


stop playing then loser


Being a local Aussie now with a 7 fight win streak I'd love to fight on that card!


Downvoted me all you want, I know I'm right. I listen to all kinds of rap,  lowbrow,  and highbrow. J cole has some of the worst highbrow rap in the game. It only takes a few listens to similar artists,  to notice how bad a rapper he is. But then again,  I can't expect people here to know other rappers than the ones on the radio


He knew.

Trust me, I've been him.


That's because like others you're a fucking moron.

Edit: Sixteen fucking morons and counting.


Oops, forgot to mention that there was enough money for another coke in the bottle. I definitely won.


Came here to say that.


I suggest you get the guy from sports authority to help with the rocket shoes.


70 percent dude, look at it clearly 7 for $70. I can hear the cash register from here.

EDIT: Sorry bout' that, got a bit excited. Computing failed.


Ruffalo ruffalo Ruffalo ruffalo ruffalo ruffalo Ruffalo ruffalo.


This is football, man. It's not like they are gonna pay him for sex, he's a great player and he can grow much more in Barcelona, with all the respect to Bayern


Quite literally this time.


My special skill is making money to hire people to build said stair cases, when I need them.


None of us in the room (14 of us) have a PhD.  (Though there are lots of them running around just outside!) smc


>fucking girls

>are so dumb

fag


>Some parents just need to chill the fuck out sometimes.

True, but some parents just shouldn't be parents


It's not too bothersome, really.  Ignoring someone doesn't take too much effort. I think I haven't deleted him yet mostly because I don't want to give up on him eventually getting the hint. Kind of an experiment on my part.


...Do you listen to us?


America = Shit

I say death to america, let americans die, they deserve 911


>Man I wish I *Doug* you.

FTFY


hahaahhaahaha haahahaha

fuck soldiers

fuck god

fuck america


Does that stand for Rhythm & Blues or Rihanna 'N Bruise?


So you're super short and just hitting puberty. I bet you didn't even have to work out. Good on you for making a positive change now instead of when you're 40 like me.


It's so weird that people are assuming it would work that way. My immediate assumption is that the years would come off of the *end* of your life. Is there a comment somewhere that stipulates how it works?


Ronnie price has played better than Lin this season


>He apologized for hitting our building.

Like a pilot.


Go home you're drunk


Something better than Reddit? well, in that case productivity will be completely gone by 2050.


No it doesn't, you ignoramus


You did a good job, too.


Yea, plat shows the passion.


Get some antibiotics ASAP. You dont know where this persons fingers have been.


Take a q-tip an swab the inside of your anus. Put that in a ziplock baggie and mail it to the fbi.  They'll know what to do.


inspiration is easy. finishing a song is hard. inspiration is everywhere.


Seasons 1 and parts of 2, everything since has been a tragedy.


'I have a dream' - Joseph Goebbels


well, there was one way out. lawl.


FETUS GUTS - YOU'LL NEED A MOP


"My cum is forever in Karen"


Oh I've got one. Stop eating hard shell tacos. They suck. Soft tacos for life!


i downvote people who ask for upvotes


Boil up some water, toss in a potato, and Brother... you've got a stew going on!


You know, like a crime.


As a guy, I was already mildly afraid of women. Now I'm horrified.


He's a fucking mod at SRD, and one of the sub's top contributors, especially in regards in LGBT 'drama'. There's no such thing as LGBT safety and understanding when cptn_sisko is around because the minute people disagree then he throws them under the bus for the sake of fucking internet points.

He's scum.


This is surprisingly accurate.


No shit, the title even says Trevor is based off his likeness. He did motion capture.


Upvote for confused Asians.


Unless you're gay, then you have to go out into the streets and parade your gayness around until you think you've raised enough "awareness."


I have it tattooed on my forehead.


lol america

spending your time worshipping worthless things and worthless people

might as well be religious, dont you agree?


Which desperately needs to happen.


Really? i think he means porn (this was sarcasm within sarcasm btw)


It always got me, at the Sorting ceremony in the first film, Dumbledore does a smal courtesy clap after each student is sorted, but then when Harry is sent to Gryffindor he proceeds to stand up and does a fucking huge clapping. No partiality at all.


If he gave proof that bethesda said that then I'm sure 4chan would make this a reality ;)


Cartoons age much quicker than humans...

http://imgur.com/RR9I6


Two of the shittiest teams in the tournament making it to the finals.  It's a sick meme, bro.


What a "short" story!


How many Palestinian children do you have to murder to join?


"Oh my God! He's falling down! I think he's having a heart attack! Oh God! He's dying! -**GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!**"


Please feel free to do so. I created the campaign to focus attention on the issue and because large organizations are often slow to react.


Really not much at all. We are really busy up there so boredom is not an issue. We do miss our families but we are able to stay connected and because of our physical counter measures (exercise) I had no bone or muscle loss after 5 1/2 months in space


The only time mommy is broken out as a 22 year old is when I'm super sick, and I mean should go to hospital sick lol


Seems more like a punch balls friend.


Oh yah. bro. im a rapist.

all no's always mean a no, of course.


i think its because you are surrounded by old people and jews


You could be constructive, like this guy: http://www.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/2yookk/when_writing_software_sometimes_its_the_small/cpbpfqx

Or you could just hide behinde the annonimity of the Internet and be rude. Your call.


Bad if you are picking up Chinese.


~36 |)|>1|\||<5


So that's what they're calling it these days?


I've never met an ex-jew-wise person before so don't hold your breath. I was like you once, buddy. Some day you may just see the [jew](http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/894/1301083155428.jpg) for what it is.


I hope there are no whores with no sense of private property living around that place.


"Systemic and pervasive" someone's been studying for their SAT's.

/r/iamverysmart


HE BEAT THE FRIENDZONE


I could not upvote this fast enough.


You wouldn't be stuck, there is a whole other world down there to explore.


Not untrue, though. Someone can be very intelligent but still have psychological problems.


Turn 50: Shall we make a Declaration of Friendship?

Turn 51: I'm sorry. In my time of need, I must ask for your help. Can I have 6000 gold?

Turn 52: Gandhi has denounced you.

Turn 53: Gandhi has declared war on you.


This is what happens when I blindly trust someone. I make an ass out of myself on reddit.


Aww you droppin da goods now.


Came for this, wasn't disappointed.  I'd upvote if I was logged in...


Imagine how wicked it would be to sit in there with a few friends, pints, and a board game or something.

EDIT: There are a lot of people that seem to think this is a weird idea. I like the atmosphere. I once saw 4 people in a really scuzzy German bar playing risk. It was awesome.


Yeesh, none of those look right. Especially Tywin. Thanks a lot though.


> Japan kid happy

https://40.media.tumblr.com/3a407aa53388292cc4612b3f834aab39/tumblr_na3g5vBjy81qiu1coo4_500.jpg


Huh odd, I thought that ownership of that subreddit had been transfered to someone who wanted to make it something other than a racist joke.  You're all awful, by the way, this thread is killing reddit.


My wife looked me in the eyes and told me, "Look at me.  I'm not fucking kidding here.  Hair and makeup is expensive.  If you push cake in my face, I will introduce that cake knife to your balls.  I'm serious, ok?  No, don't laugh.  I'm fucking serious.  You put cake in my face and it's over for you."

I didn't put the cake in her face.  It's been a pretty sweet 3 years so far.


I used to fix rage comics, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I fixed it

http://i.imgur.com/5GmF6fL.jpg

Obligatory edit: Thanks for the gold!


Too bad she as a persona is about as relevant as Cher right now to the general populace... Man, I miss her earlier antics of just running around in transparent tops. The new stuff is straight up trashy.

EDIT: Idgaf about downvotes, come at me fairies.


Don't be afraid.

It's called 'Linux'.


Relax it's a fucking a joke that even non-nerds or most dudes over the internet would most likely jokingly say, especially over the fucking internet. And no I'm not one of those guys who said Wolf is getting laid, but you're overreacting and singling out the nerds you fucking faggot.