I actually work at that store. We have big posters with all the great offers on our doors outside, then when people ask where they are, it's "Sorry we don't have any in stock". Such fun.


I will put my old pit bull up against **ANY** police dog out there.


It's like a ninja: you don't see it, you don't feel it, but when you do it does its job quickly and melds back to the shadows.


Lol so many down votes.. Jeez..


Garfield 2 really spoke to me. The Lasagne scene was especially poignant regarding humanity's quest for decent Italian food and a soft place to nap.


What noodles? It's fucking tortellini.

Not all pasta is called noodles just because you're too lazy to learn it's proper name. Fucking Americans.


Not for all of them. Such as the ones where he touches people.


Defenseless? He could have pulled his gun and shot back.


WHOA IS THAT TRUE?? He did??? I got a lot to live up to. Maybe Stugeon45 dared him to do it?


Yeah dude, this is all feminism's fault.


For me it's not the actual chewing with the mouth open. It's the smacking slobbery noise that usually accompanies the chewing. Oh goodness how that gets me.


The top comment in this thread is an imgur link? When did /r/truereddit turn into /r/politics?

EDIT: To further my point, tons of downvotes and only one response why.

http://www.reddit.com/r/TrueReddit/comments/8lon3/whats_next_ideas_for_truereddits_development/c0jqaor


Exactly. They're divorcing now by the way.


In many cultures it *is* family-like. Get out of your bubble.


> Joseph of Nazareth

ftfy


Upvote just coz of your name


Yes, always observe brotocol


How so? What dodge do exactly to make him a tool? Get the fuck out of my state you liberal piece of shit. I'm done being diplomatic because you fuckers are so annoying.


please please please send pictures of when the dog is better and happy again. i really need a happy ending on this one. i'm so sorry


it's funny because it's true

edit: hey Australians i appreciate all the upvotes but you guys have to remember that you're all upside down so your upvotes are our downvotes. just a note for future reference.


"You should know that your husband made consensualbeastiality into the man he is today."


Obama giving that nigga a message.


> redditor for 29 days


No not at all. Just explaining that you are confused and misinformed. Sorry you take that the wrong way


My ex wanted to get rid of my car when she found out. I had to convince her mine was artificial leather even though it was real.


It is, which makes you dumber than the fatties for posting it here.


Sorry, I don't speak Spanish.


>You didn't push your partner to their limit; you pushed her past her limit.

She *could* have stopped him...She didn't say a word.


i thought stereotypes werent supposed to be true


You'd work hard if you were promised $100,000,000 just to play a game.


My calf cramped when I looked at this.


dude, that's the question i was gonna ask. it would be a damn shame if she died before losing her virginity.


Is this a joke?
Guy asks Reddit for serious advice on life changing traumatic ordeal.
Reddit kindly informs him how to peel bananas and bake a muffin.


I like how people are ~bragging~ about their amazing ability to click an arrow...


And then puke it up later.


Holy crap, I came here to write those exact words.


It was removed in /r/IAMA. After seeing how many people were angry with the mods of that subreddit we decided to get in contact with BLB and have him do an AMA here.


54353468786989788776786765765656454322253543657878769700700770
7543221123142355689666


MAYBE HIS RIVAL PICKED BULBASAUR!!!!


if she has a problem with it she's a bitch.


I love that stories ending with "That cop was such a dick," tend to start with a "So this one time I was [Insert illegal act]."


Ugh it was one guy raping me and he got srd to be his fucking personal army. I dont know maybe I expect human beings to act like decent people. Why cant you realize im a human being and this shit is out of control.


It's always nice when a father and son share a hobby they can really bond over.


Down votes for all!

edit: 3 upvotes? what the hell


when it somehow becomes cheap to make something stay near absolute zero =)


It is fleshlight approved.


On a side note:  I have a friend who pulled a dutch oven on his cat.  When he finally lifted the covers, the cat emerged... only to puke on the bed.

That must have been the greatest fart ever.


Can you refute the claim that "abnormal" has negative connotations?


My dad's advice about fighting.

'Let him punch you in the face, and then sue his parents, and school, for all they're worth. Make that kid homeless and get rich in the process.'

He was a lawyer.


That's quite a name you got there. 'Grats on pickin' that one up.
Edit: lol why so many downvotes for my random comment?


I do. Describe it in detail.


I was wondering how long it would for someone to make the connection! I saw that post and this is what I imagined the boss was thinking.


Similar to the running dream is the "trying to punch someone but punching EXTREMELY slowly so it lands without any force" dream. Drives me crazy.


And I upvoted *you* : )


Holy fucking shit how they executed this cop, I'm so fucking mad and shocked right now.


You have some low standards.  quasi-lesbian haircut + no tits = teenage boy with eyeliner


My question stands but now so does my penis


That was my general thought. I mean, what?, would you rather see pictures like [this](http://i.imgur.com/zuyof2P.jpg) (NSFW)


My grandpa died in the last Shark Week. As per Shark Week tradition, my father must fight the shark for our family's honor.


Odd that someone with your user-name would make that misquote.


Yes, basically delusional. Its overheated too much and has lost the sense of touch in its body and thus cannot feel that it is eating itself, and thinks instead it's eating another snake. It will likely notice and regurgitate its tail soon enough.


Is this what "super good" rap is now?

Edit: It would seem some of you like a thing I don't. Let's be grown ups and agree to disagree.


"Cashews with obstacles"


I was just telling /u/XXLpeanuts not to call people out. I'll take the downvotes... it only furthers my point! It's for the good of the race.


I made a huge mistake.


It's a random number to illustrate that it has a low winrate. If you're going to be so pedantic, get to legend yourself and gather the statistics.

EDIT: You guys seriously think a basic mage deck can pull off a decent winrate at legend?


most confused upvote in a long time...but...good job?


Don't understand your last sentence. Are you being racist?


If it makes you feel better, I've seen this picture and it was pretty clear it was a joke. I think most people who browse those sites can tell too, you just have the neckbeards commenting and making a big deal over nothing.


I would craft a retort, but I don't even understand what you are trying to say.


Despite those edits, the ass didn't change.


Yeah, the kind you might encounter if you bothered to listen to actual feminists instead of relying on your own bitter fuck-the-uppity-wimminz concept of what the word entails.


Maybe this is Whitney Houston....


CCTV is owned by private property like shops, by choice. Sorry to spoil the Orwellian fantasy.


"Looks like you METHED with the wrong DEA agent.  Book 'em Gomie."


League and money too. Not busses though. Transport seems to be their problem.


Welcome to AskReddit, where the real advice is only a halfpage away!


I used to work in a store that sold tennis balls with a bunch of friends. One guy would claim (and I've heard this elsewhere too) that the balls would get "bad" or something if they were exposed to air for too long, so me and another guy would crack these fuckers open right in his face, put the lid back on and set them back on the shelf.


"So the Xbox 720 doesn't exist?"


He's also playing against the Heat bench and in a blowout. This dunk doesn't mean much.


Overly attached redditor.


**THAT'S FUKUSHIMA!**


* Computer
* Snow
* Kangaroo Jack
* Key Chain

*DAMNIT*


He sucks. Hope his death was agonizing.


Justin Bieber = Kim jong-un?


Except that a woman can file for sexual harassment or even assault if shedoesnt like you looking at her boobs. Even if she showed up at the door naked like OP.


run to the bathroom thinking you're gonna shit your pants.  pull your pants down in a furious panic only to fill the toilet bowl with farts.


No they aren't. They are wasting tax dollars instead of doing what they agreed to do. They are an embarrassment of our gov't and of democracy.


Did he want to kiss you?


How would it be pornography? She's not having sex in the context of the photo. At most it would be just child nudity.


Probably doing weird shit with Frank under the bridge. Finding eggs, maybe


but you're only diamond according to your flare so nobody cares about your stupid guide


WHO WANTS COFFEE I SURE DO


A *Mojang* party isn't, no. Something completely unrelated to any of the dev team at the Mojang party really isn't suitable content for this subreddit.


Desperately thinking of a good pun to respond with, but I'm stumped.


**GIVE US SOMETHING WE HAVEN'T ALL ALREADY DOWNLOADED AND PLAYED.  LAME.  NO DIGG.**


http://imgur.com/gwE7k

http://i.imgur.com/A5JoP.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/iukU7.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/Q0HHW.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/gTqNG.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/Y3y8k.jpg


The joke implies that "God" isn't allknowing and don't know that the card is an ace.

On a slightly darker note George is hearing voices and should seek professional help.

* *Edit 1: Spelling Mistake*
* *Edit 2: Clarification of sentence.*


"If I leave all these clues for my real daughter, she's bound to remember me and meet me at our special place on the 23rd."


listen you fucking jackass faggot....when you use just an obscure word..you fucking include the definition..got that?

people don't think you're smart..they think you're a fucking dbag


Hijacking to point out this is not OP's cat.

http://shehitmewithalittlemitten.tumblr.com/post/112420544622

Posted 15 hours ago.

Edit - [This](http://kittykittykittykittykitty.tumblr.com/post/111068015502/this-is-my-gandalf-she-was-so-cute-i-took-a) was posted 2 weeks ago.


This might not be a "novelty account", but an account to spew thinly veiled, passive aggressive and cowardly racism, sexism, hatred and bigotry....

all jokes get old and die, hatred does not.

[From this same thread....](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/rxtbu/i_have_been_accused_of_attempted_daterape_what_am/c49i44n)


Let's clarify, Lindsay before the drugs.


Ok, I guess that it's my bad, but to be fair a) almost all posts here are spoiler-filled anyway and b) it's not like I'm talking about stuff that aired a year ago, I mean that I shouldn't have to be worried about someone smarter than me figuring out what's gonna happen and posting it here when I AM up to date with the show.


Yeah...from Uranus!

*teehehehe*


http://i.imgur.com/4w1XI.png

___

[^About, ^Feedback ](http://www.reddit.com/r/Top_Comment_Judge/comments/xdmt6/why_i_do_what_i_do/)


For $10 for a medium drink, I will fucking refill all I goddamn want.


This lame joke's time has passed.  It should diminish and go into the West.


Did Neil deGrasse Tyson just respond to a question from [/r/shittyaskscience](/r/shittyaskscience) ?


Ayy... Die in a fire.


Came expecting the top comment to be about huge package. Am not disappointed.


Well, duh. But there are plenty of small apartments that have refrigerators that open properly. Being small is not the problem.


Yeah, seriously. How are they comparable? Having sex with someone you might not find attractive vs. the lifelong loss of most of humanity's primary sense.


Trump definitely isn't a top 100 constructed ladder player imo, so no.


Ahhhh, the old [reddit switch-a-roo](http://www.reddit.com/r/InternetAMA/comments/1opuiu/i_started_the_whole_switcharoo_thing_ama/).


Only 24? You aren't that young when you're 24. Also what do you mean by international stage? He didn't play for USMNT in the World Cup, and he hasn't played well for RBK.


See? Environmentalism is easy.


[Dude man....bro...](https://sorrytohearaboutyourinfection)


Females do tend to be hotter during the summer.


I'm not quite sure how the Taliban relates to this picture.  FYI this man burned himself to protest persecution of Buddhists from a Catholic government in South Vietnam which the U.S supported.  What the Taliban did many years later in Afghanistan was of course pretty awful but Buddhists were pretty much gone from the region centuries ago.


To be entirely honest, it blows my mind that David Grohl can be that fucking awesome.


You're not too bright, are you?


too bad reddit hates JEWS and BLACKS!

Double Whammy Reddit! Shame on you!


That's a funny way of spelling Charmander


so your moment of witnessing douchebaggery is that HS students were laughing at something? I mean if they had taken his shoe or were in someway interfering that is one thing, but it sounds like all they really did was not help. Sort of like laughing at a fat man that slips on the ice. Not a  great moment in human kindness, but, really, is it that bad?


...and because of electromagnetic principles, that I don't fully understand, nothing ever really "touches" anything else.

You are nothing and no one will ever touch you.


Please just go away. No one cares about your game lingo


"nah man I just got some weed smoke in my eye..."


SO YOU'RE SINGLE? HIT ME UP BOO, XOXOXOXXO


Anybody who considers high school to be the best years of their life peaked **way** too early.


At the end of the day, I live in San Francisco, have a lot of gay friends, and support gay marriage.  It is just an old habit that is hard to break, especially on the internet.  I very rarely use the word in person.


It's CGI, and its part of a series of crazy over the top amusement park rides. let me see if I can find the rest.

EDIT: Found it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVeHxUVkW4w there are lots more in here and they are all equally crazy.


So can it FINALLY FUCKING DIE?! Jesus christ, this is so overused it's ridiculous. I don't even subscribe here and I see this image multiple times a day just from browsing /r/all.


Great advice, sugar tits.


He was paid to help her.  It is not like he goes around helping people just to help them.


Yep, I'm sure Arsenal would finish in 4th even with a team consisting of 11 Sanogo clones, am I le right? Le eternal 4th le place face!

PS: DAE Spurs shit? ROFLMAO


I usually buy them dinner before breaking their tailbones.


Edit: Let me rephrase.

Yes, that is the implication. Personally, I think he's made four. Yeezus, 808s, Graduation, and CD are all albums I wouldn't revisit. This is not an unheard of opinion, and not everyone thinks Ye is perfect. I actually thought the character's reactions were pretty close to mine- not hoping for the *old* ye specifically, but the *enjoyable* Ye.


In Florida, the company which does the testing is owned by the governor's wife.

Drug use among welfare recipients is no higher than the rest of the population, the study has been done many times.


/unjerk that argument is more bullshit than mine. In no way am I a creepy horny Facebook stalker. I'm strictly the dude posting lewd things on ig. I may follow you home from the bar but I'm harmless ;))))))))


***TITANIC II: ICE TO MEET YOU.***


Yeah, and look at all the downvotes I'm getting.

Reddit--4chan for pussies.


Another TIL for you, The Beatles didn't write "Twist and Shout," it's a cover. It was written for the Top Notes, but gained popularity when the Isley Brothers did a version.


Yeah it is. A lot of American beer is only 0.5% to 1%, if memory serves correctly.

**EDIT:** 60 downvotes? Sheesh. Some random person on the internet remembered something slightly wrong. That must have really ruined your day...

**EDIT:** I will go down with this ship.


I would have said, "No way!"


You're a stupid chode monger if you believe that.  Liberals are just a fucking bat shit retarded as conservatives.


I would love to know what they thought was going on with that helicopter.

"Hey guys, the weirdest bird EVER has showed up, there's a couple of, I'm going to say demons?, on it. They look like people but they're the wrong colour and they're pointing a strange box at stuff"


Both sides should demilitarize, I really don't know how it could be inforced. But my opinion is that nothing war related should interfere with desition on the islands and their people. Also we are a different country now, the country that invaded was a military state, which took the country by force, we are know a democratic country, which haven't been in any war since 1982


-smashes chair on bar- "Thank you I'll have another quesadilla."


Ohhh no! What will we ever do without you? /vomit.

Please, you're threatening to withdraw your "allyship" simply because I disagree with you, for answering your questions. I will have none of it, thank you.

Grow up.


welp that may be the most depressing thing I've read in a while :(


Agreed. Where I live, holocaust denial is a very serious crime. 6 million, 6 billion or 6 trillion, we must all believe whatever the official number is today. Never forget!


I tried to upvote this twice.


It's true it's not written very well but it's still a neat idea. I'm sorry you weren't able to finish it :o


He said we'll look "fabulous" not look like a whore.


You are showing classic signs of having very little insight i to psychology.


Police officer was about to write me a ticket, but he JIZZED IN HIS PANTS.


شما شاید گربه دارن. شما مشکلات موشی دارن.

;-)


WHERE IS IT I KNOW YOU PUT IT SOMEWHERE


GG as in gamergate? Same SJWs have started the latest attack


> I was 7 years old and had just started work down in the coal mines. All of a sudden I hear the unmistakable sound of absolutely nothing. Yep, the fucking canary was dead. Then I punched a special needs kid.

That's more like it.


or rapidshare/rapidsharedata


As usual, Dr. Cock Slappington is the voice of reason.


Thank you for your input, i can only expect so much from a sub like this.


They did.. that's why they took them out of play to check them..


Anyone who sees a violation of the law and refuses to report it is just as guilty as the person who broke the law, criminal scum.


Can't believe you drove her home.

I would have started screaming "NOOOO" as she tried to sit in my car.


You don't need to capitalize homer.


I'm going to propose to the first girl I'm attracted to on the street.


I tried to be fair and mention that I haven't played Tiny Tower, and I can see how that might be rather **un**fair. I wasn't trying to attack the game, but from the screenshots used in the original post it shared a remarkable resemblance to corporation inc. This post wasn't really intended to criticize Nimblebit, but to criticize the mobile game industry as a whole (which Nimblebit is apart of).


"Like a blind man at an orgy, I had to feel my way around."


yeah, by paying the photog - not everything is free u know


I think everyone was just pissed off at the wife because she had orchestrated the event so poorly.  Bad enough that she didn't arrange to actually have her husband *get there*, but then she had us all crouched quietly in the dark for over half an hour, snapping SHHHH at anyone as if her husband was right outside.  I guess she'd only ever seen surprise parties on TV


Hope this is sarcasm, these glitches damage the game. Many teens and tweens will appreciate your video.


Personally I prefer http://www.bigbustycoons.com/


Probably should get over being a prude


I work in fraud. I see this a lot too. The worst is when it's the parents ripping off their kids.


With the trend of the downvotes, we can see that eventually, it will turn in to upvotes
EDIT: Maybe not. I regret nothing.


Below Texas, above Boston.


model's* name

    models = more than one model


Oh don't worry, he has his own corner that people know to stay out of. They really enjoy watching him and calling him a hero.


>they are not babies yet.

LOL, yes they are. Try again!


And reddit was the core amount of time wasted by high and college schoolers.


I like the cute spin you put on it, but what I saw was a dog's instinctual fear after he screwed up. At home he would have been probably hit for screwing up, that's what I saw in the dog's body language and eyes.


Well, this got dark fast.


they are whales...good job


Not at all, who really wants to admit that they have to pay to get sex?


They hate us cause they aint us...actually It feels pretty shitty right now as a chelsea supporter. I mean we have a great chance to win the league, but there is nothing like the atmosphere and excitation of champions league matches.


Or photos of grandma's 76th birthday party...


If it was a network with some balls they wouldn't have introduced a second character


Yeah, other people's kids are so much easier to pick up.


When they finish making rage comics they move to /r/MensRights to get down to the nitty gritty.


Anything mass marketed as collectible isn't.


Thank you for subscribing to Fun Cat Facts! Here is a fun fact about cats:

>A cat called Dusty has the known record for the most kittens. She had more than 420 kittens in her lifetime.


AHHH YEAH UPVOTES YEEEAH

  [:O](http://i.imgur.com/QSKNl.gif)


*HUGS*

Use lube please


This is a photo taken by Steve McCurry in 2001 of the mass Hindu pilgrimage at the Kumbh Mela Festival which shows people waiting their turn to bathe in the Ganges River. It was reported that 70,000,000 people were in attendance.


360 potato or potato one, still a potato


You can search google like this

    filetype:pdf Title Author etc

to see if there are any pdfs of the book you are looking for.


>if you are just there, chatting to your friends

He has stated this numerous times.


#\\( •_•)_†

#STAY BACK, FIEND!!!


Wtf dude are you 12?  Depressing, go play with power rangers or something.


'your shoulders look gorgeous, beautiful neckline'


Maybe he shouldn't have tried to kill those guys.  Sure, sucks, but he made some bad choices.


"I'm challenging what people think a penis should be."

Penises come in  various shapes and sizes, as they should, but that is everything a penis should not be.


Yeah, three bucks a pound for sugar-coated cattle feed is a smart buy.

Moron.


To be fair, there are plenty of students in Uni too old to be traditional students. But yeah, fuck that guy.


That was poetic. And not needed on r/wtf Gtfo. R/sewing needs pansy like you.


Upvote for being the only non-conception related story in the thread


I wasn't talking about the canon, characters, or stories. I was talking about the regions that both revolve around. The only real thing they have in common. Orange Islands are not a region of a game, so I don't count it as a worthwhile part of the anime to watch (and having watched it, I consider it absolutely shit compared to the rest of the anime).


Around the time they invented jokes?


Can you just go back to LoL? :D


Girls got Jamaican Fever.

It leads to fever, diarrhea, and dementia.  My heart goes out to her and her family.

EDIT: Thank you for linking so we can both reap more mutual karma ^^^


He went mech everygame.  No drop play.  No small pushes.

Just turtle and max mech.

Uhg...

Thats NOT how you beat a Brood army.


Perhaps he was the manager on duty.


I thought your joke was funny!  ^.^


They make hand condoms. I think they're called gloves, or something.


Most American children are.  This is nothing.  I've seen much, much, MUCH worse!


>voluminous pube fro

Thank you, my band have been looking for a new name.


Yeah me too. Detailed painstaking realism (GW2) vs the efficient accumulation of money for least amount of effort(WoW).


Those Cutco people are pretty persistent.


downmodded because you're an emotionless pit.


There's twenty-eight of them.


You should take those faggot stuffed animals back to the store. Your faggot son doesn't deserve them. All he deserves is a dick in the ass and a load on the face.


You should've said, "Well, go ahead and tell this 'Prof /u/Alantha' and see if I care!" Get to your office before him and then, when he gets there, be waiting at your desk with a smile on your face, sorting through your mail. "May I help you?"


Maybe she accussed you of sexism because you were sexist? just a thought


Read the comments to make sure someone hasn't already posted the exact same answer they're about to.


HAHAH HE IS DIFFERENT FROM US LETS MAKE FUN OF HIM TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT OURSELVES HAHAHAH


*hogwash*

I use the three sea shells.


its only of he's expected to pay that it would pertain to him. And it that case, he pays because he owes for damages same as he owes me for car repairs of he scrapes my paint.


Alternate history:

I am Barack Obama, President of the United States of America, AMA.

1st Comment: "Bullshit. Downvoted"

Thread remains at 0. Obama is sitting in his office an hour later: "Well that was stupid".


How exactly does a women deny consent to a male without physical force ?

I only see blackmail and even then how will the mechanics of that work exactly ? Does she forcefully remove his pants and then somehow makes him have an erection ?


Well take it off, you don't need it until later.


> Kids playing with toy guns has been normal ever since guns were invented.

You have achieved stupid level infinity.  Are you retarded or just stupid?


Hindi-bro has your back.


wow. I just physically cringed at your stupidity.


>experience the scent of cancer

lolwut


I had to scroll to the bottom of this page to find a comment that had been commented on.


It's a serious danger, it's happened to me.  I saw a barbell on the ground so i picked it up and put it back on the shelf.  Next morning I woke up with huge muscles everywhere.


I'll have you know that I am trans swole.


I appreciate your candid confession, Congressman.


nice strawman you got there


> hope they went to heaven because shoes have soles

this is glorious


I see you've been on reddit for two hours.  Next time could you please post somehting like this to [r/fffffffffuuuuuuuuuuu](http://www.reddit.com/r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu/) and not to the general reddit page?


I did the same thing as a kid. Next day the bully brought two friends, game over.


The dad is a huge dick, yea he told him not to do it but yelling at him when hes in pain is not going to make the point stronger. The dad should have been in the bathroom helping the kid, not telling him what an idiot he is. He can scold him when the danger is removed.


"What a weak ass pussy, doesnt even want to rape and murder" - Genghis Khan

Genghis Khan 2016, move aside ron paul.


you sure are an expert on porn and prostitution


In all honesty, how is anyone expected to become well-informed if you ignore valuable sources such as these? As has already been said, Wikipedia's sole purpose is to inform. I think it's just easier to become well-read and well-informed with the presence of the internet.

(First ever comment, my heart is pounding.... My 11 months of lurking are officially over!)


>often raised his voice at the slightest mistake

Oh my god, you poor thing, this is the most atrocious travesty to ever befall an employee, I am so glad you shed some light on this interesting and important matter.


Also surprising, the chart appears to show that 7" (17.78 cm) erect qualifies as the top 1%.


reddit - bucnh of overprotective retards that throw a fit every time

[Quick google](http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-by-age-guide-to-feeding-your-baby_1400680.bc) ctrl+f cereals

>Age: 4 to 6 months

>semi-liquid iron-fortified cereal


Louis CK: Insults reddit while using reddit, gets upvoted by reddit.


I've been working the last four days for 12 hours each. It's my first day off. Let me relax a little!


I'm going to go ahead and trust your math on this one


Gayyyyyy JB rules hahah


>I was so stoked to take a shower that night.

This is adorable.


Does the context really matter?  The chat comment isn't warranted in a game.


He's not there because you're looking for him.


HIJACKIN TOP COMMENT:

HOW THA FUCK THIS NIGGA GET AN AMA FOR GETTIN PUNCHED IN THE FACE?

ME AND MY NIGGAS GET FUCKIN SHOT AT ON DA DAILY AND WE AINT GOT AN AMA FUCK

G SHIT


They  do it all the time, remember when they said more than 9 decks in hearthstone is gonna be "confusing"?. Blizzard makes good games, but they really treat their customer base as imbeciles.


whatever you need to tell yourself.


"Day 37: The females of this species seem both attracted to, and repelled by, my confident gaze. One has invited me to 'have a drink' later. I accepted, with a showing of my teeth, which I believe I have perfected. If I could know fear, I would be reticent to short my innards with liquid. But I do not. I will survive this, as I have so many other challenges. I wish to see under her skin."


So?, one cigarette isn't going to hurt a 9 year old.


Nailed it! Now go out into the world and try it out!


I will, but the video sucks really bad, it's poorly edited and the song he chose to represent her is so fucking bad, she's probably rolling over in her grave right now.  But I am sorry for your loss.

PS.  She's pretty hot.


I don't think you're serious but I can't help feeling repulsed by this comment.


I would say you have deeper problems if you can't handle an Atheist subeddit


I would like to refer you to the wisdom of Wayne.

"If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be."

Edit: Woohoo! Thank you for the gold!


Draven. Downvotes pls


That is another level of sap...


HAY GUIZE KARMA IS IMPORTANT TO ME!!!


Or you could lay on your back and play 'jaws' with the kids!


You, sir, deserve an upvote!


Indy 900 switch to Violin


ERMAHGERD, HERRER SKERPE


> If a girl ever tells me "I absolutely hate drama! Gossip is the worst!"

"I know this because I am constantly surround by and in the middle of it!"


No defense. ALWAYS assume your weapon is loaded.


The doctors are also heavily advertised to. All the big drug companies employee representatives that wine and dine doctors and give them boxes of samples.


Well go ahead and apologize, I admit I reported today, but that is not something I would fuck around with. Honestly, think whatever you want though, I know I am telling the truth about my nephew. We are having a benefit diner for him next Friday. But really, believe what you want.


If someone named "DeadlyJizzAttack" says you were a fucked up child, I think you might have problems.


Learn to spell you stupid fuck *conditions


That's what most guys (not all) who say they prefer a girl "without makeup" really like. It's makeup where you can't really tell that they're wearing makeup.


Photoshop some boobies too please


**DUE TO THE OVERWHELMINGLY POSITIVE FEEDBACK AND MASSIVE POPULARITY FROM *THE EVIL WITHIN*, WE HAVE DECIDED THAT BETHESDA WILL NOW EXCLUSIVELY PRODUCE *THE EVIL WITHIN* RELATED GAMES.**


Why is the only sensible post here getting downvoted?

Edit: to clarify: when I replied to this post, it had like -20 karma witch was nuts when all the other comments were retarded like "that poor thing" and "how could he do that" and people generally believing this was all true (and those comments were being upvoted).


Welcome to the internet.


I love how i'm being downvote dfor sharing my opinion fucking reddit cunts


Prison will be very harsh for someone who beat a child to death. Take comfort in that.


Mods are fun! But also terrifying. And over all not a good reason to spend 1500 dollars on a computer when a 500 dollar box plays the same game. Still fun.


Am I the only one who noticed he was prepared to *GOUGE EYEBALLS*


UGH u hate to see dicks!!!!

edit: perv

down votes??? bunch of pervs reddit is...


You really shouldn't be serving Japanese alcohol to your kids.


shitposting is so 2013 tbh


Probably is just remembering an old Brady Bunch episode and is getting confused.


And this is going on nocontext.


I knew being an art major would pay off!...........potentially ;P


NO it's not, it's some impostor called Deadxmausig. That doesn't even make any sense.


Pretty good, an English paper is annoying me, but otherwise pretty nice.


SHUT THE FUCK UP APOSTOLATE.  FIRSSSST! AM I COOL? UPVOTES.
  FORTHEWOLFX


I believe that's more or less the plot of Oregon trail.


I wasn't trying to be funny, I was pointing out that rape isn't really a subject that should be used for humor.


Fuck all you guys, I'm using Alien Blue.


You are so not invited to my birthday party.

Just to let you know, you're missing out on a bouncy castle, and a clown that does face painting.

Sorry, that's what you get for being a meanie.


Asked? You'd be amazed at the number of fans who would pay a high price for used tampons, or worse.
Agreed? I made a funny or die video that had a child in it once.


Downvote me to hell, but I think I would kill for revenge. And there's nothing wrong with that. If you know that someone who abused you to the point where you can't hold it anymore do you want them to just spend their time in prison while your life is forever ruined? I would want to kill them. And that wouldn't be enough. I would want them to suffer 10x what I suffered.


I think I have just read the mother of all first world problems.


upvote for the whose line is it anyway reference!


I would pay to see the students reactions.


No, a waste was the time it took to grow those dirt clods.


oh god I am so going to hell for this but you could say that Osama really took his wingman role seriously.


Yeah, and people could share their opinions without being a bunch of fucking pricks about it, but that didn't happen either, did it?  I'm not being defensive, I'm just trying to point out that it's not necessary to be such a bunch of sorry-assed dickholes.


Probably not very much, considering he's dead.


fuk u, u dont mean that u son of a bitch. i SPIT on ur FACE


"Shit, we can't justify that to the shareholders! Phil, try and see if he'll settle for two squeaky toys and the food that makes its own gravy!"


Nice dig at the Jew, asshole. What the fuck does Israel have to do with him?


This kills the cheetah.


Misleading TL;DR = down voat


I just thought about how much more awesome Bush's speeches could be if he spoke in third person...


Her job is doing the laundry because of her gender. That is sexism.


He doesn't really have a girlfriend. He's the one that got fucked. Then googled the symbols he saw. Then he came to Reddit to reap the rewards. You know how I know this? Because fuck you.


That's ridiculous to conclude off this story. Don't trust cops because of their reaction when a moron called 911 and wasted time and resources? Yes, out of the infinite reasons I do not trust cops, this is surely one of them. Right...

Edit: downvote away


tall person eye conversations are the best part about being in crowds.


the reference are from today -.-


In all fairness, Washington was involved in a great deal of gun violence, around the mid-to-late 1770s.


Actually water is everything but blue.


internet hug?

*hug*


solidifying why I never want to get married.


The one on top still looks fresh ... I wouldn't toss it


Aww. You must be married. How sweet.


Too much logic in this answer.


I'm a man.
If I was going to rape someone, it would be a hot chick.

There's your citation.


This. And Jessie in Toy Story 2 talking about her old owner! :'-(


as when I'm reading this, 48 people are overweight


I think the mistakes, even unnoticed, are part of the magic. It doesn't sound produced or overly practiced. It sounds like your neighbor or uncle got out onto the porch and started singing, and everyone stops what they are doing to go out to listen.


Why would you have that on you permanently?


I've traveled for a month in Iran and saw maybe 5-10 burqas. So there's that.


Just ''africans'' huh. Tell me, what was the point of that generalization?


When you can build [THIS](http://www.engadget.com/2015/03/04/lockheed-martin-laser-athena-test/) im pretty sure you don't give a fuck about ANBODY...


Lol, graveyard shift. I'm sure it's a nice way to start a story at a party.

"blablabla..."

"Don't tell me! Two nights ago I was doing my graveyard shift, and sudently..."

Edit : guys I didn't know what a graveyard shift was, but come on, -70 ? What's wrong with what I said ?


That got racist real fast


Job performance is measured by arrests?  Do you often make shit up to fit your world view?


Now he SHOULD put the gun in his mouth.


I really hate to threadjack, and IMMA let you finish, but BARRY OBAMA is the WORST NIGGER of ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME.
EDIT: why all the downvotes? Fuck you stiffs. Lighten the fuck up.


> I have never been so glad I can't smell.

Did your dad take your nose as a kid and never give it back?


I’m sorry but to post link with my username doesn’t feel like a good idea...


>I can't hear what he is talking about

He was talking about an abortion.


Using your combat training to attack and injure someone in a basketball game because they were rude, you're a real hero. If you were only packing heat that time when a pregnant mother of 5 stepped in front of you while you were driving, spilling your drink.


...*that's the joke.*


Then get off your horse and do something. It's their money, their choice if they want to waste it.


HOT DIGGITY

http://imgur.com/qM8ad


Kontext:  http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/zvmgf/thirtyfive_years_of_console_sales_figures/

"Where is the Genesis?"

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3653/3390182310_f86c82cb95.jpg


/r/OP/ *never* delivers...


As a QA lead, this is a test case that should already have been written. Power interactions with map mechanics is a pretty basic thing.

_Edit: Hurr durr clueless dumbfucks downvoting._


I'm so lucky I have you as my best friend, and Lisa is so loyal to me


Thats gonna be so annoying


Anal is a term used to describe sexual intercourse with the anus of the partner. It also has a slang meaning for being very strict and stingy; Like "My Mom is so anal about homework". In the case of the OP's post however, I believe they mean the former.

I hope that helps. Cheers.


DAE think /r/unexpecterd is /r/expectard?!!!

Am I rite GUIs?!!!

Rofl


That's a cool ass-fucking dude right there FTFY


Downvoted for trying too hard.


You should probably ask for some professional help.


Would you say that to her in person? Somehow I think you're overreacting. Downvote away, the tone doesn't feel genuine within the context.


I work at a small college.

The girls look amazing.  Their bodies are skinny and tight and the look of innocence is unbelievably attractive.

And then they start talking.

Edit:  more karma with my throwaway than with my real account :(


Your sense of humor is bad and you should feel bad.


Sounds like a hard-earned bit of knowledge.


how did this add to the discussion? instead of making mean spirited remarks do not post at all... or read the reddiqette.


Hasn't she heard of nutella?


this is why you are a virgin


Ive thought about what would happen in this scenario. And after thinking about it for so long ive come to the proper conclusion:

He would explode.


A nice takedown of all the 19-year-old Libertarian trust fund babies that spam the /r/politics discussions on economics.


I AM KNEE DEEP IN CHILDREN


No, every kid who wants to feel good about himself overdoes the PCMR circlejerk in an attempt to be an actual elitist. That's why this community is turning to shit.

EDIT: Nevermind, it's already shit. Guess it's summer all year round in this sub.


Haha #1 practical indian joker


4 super bowl rings, the most superbowl touchdowns and his stats say otherwise.


Wait.  Was that a flirt?

Guys, I think she's flirting....


I failed at reddit today


I refer to it as twangpop.


Hai, may I have the honor to be the first upvoted comment to this comment?


fuck homophobes, fuck them in their asses.


OH LOL ITS FUNNY BECAUSE THAT PHONE THAT SOME OF US HAD WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER WAS KNOWN FOR BEING VERY RESILIENT AND RESISTANT TO BREAKING LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL


I'm a Catholic. We're fine with evolution, as long as the soul is singularly attributed to God (as well as creation itself).


Funny enough, a black man in China would have been taken care of and he would have never had the chance for anyone to call him names.  Some countries send their minorities to the furnace.


Best start to am AMA ever?


Apologies if this is a bit rude, but go fuck yourself.


I bet she fucks like a gazelle on meth


We need a subreddit for witty names for pictures.

/r/filenames?


So basically, now WE are the aliens who land on another planet, pull out a ray gun, and disintegrate things.  Awesome!


"It's okay, guys! It's in a SRS thread, so you can't ~logically~ be upset about shitty bigoted remarks!"

This fucking site.


I'm from Grand Rapids, and that lit up my face to see that Founders is having that much reach overseas, especially on a big day like today!


i'm sure you did.

i would've found it 10x funnier if Lavi had let Jagr play the 3rd period and he scored a goal.. did the salute right in Rupp's ugly face... then watched in horror as Staal rubbed fecal matter all over himself while Boyle wanked off in Gaboriks gloves....... but we all can't get everything we want.


Did you go to school in an anime?!


ayy! sick reference bro.


50 hours of sanding will do that.


This is pretty much why most people don't play pc games these days, you buy it, you die with it


Aaaaaaah of course!!!

*In classical cryptography, the bifid cipher is a cipher which combines the Polybius square with transposition, and uses fractionation to achieve diffusion. It was invented around 1901 by Felix Delastelle.*

wat did i just read.


Considering the artist and writer's name is on the image the only thing you could be implying is that it's a bad strip.


Yes, exactly like that.


lol. she just overreacted ITS JUST BOOBS, go ahead downvote me i dont give a shit about imaginary points  omg someone saw my boobs even tho i flashed so its my fault still technically . she could of said no... its over the internet via webcam she wasnt being forced lol


I was making dinner and thought to myself "I'm kinda scared of Reddit..."


He gets unfair treatment because he plays for the heat and he isn't hilarious off the court. Ohnoes, here comes the downvote the heat fan circlejerk!!!!11


Praise to the engineers. doing it right so no one knows they did anything


You got the joke!!  You must be slow.


And glass, if the roof of my mouth is any indication.

Fuck the Captain. Make mine Fruity Pebbles.


If I put this anywhere it would get downvoted.


I spent the death of a loved one 'bracing for it' so to speak; I regret that being my primary concern more than anything I've done in life so far.
If you love her just spend as much time with her as possible.


Hmm... She's the one who logged into his Facebook.  He assumed that was private and she wouldn't see it.  It's not an asshole move to break up with someone because you can't handle the distance.  It is however an asshole move to log into someone's account and spy on them.


I'm sorry but Kevin Durant is such a little bitch. Just about my least favorite player in the NBA. The flops, the rip-throughs, the constant look of indignation, the stupid Sprint commercials...he's insufferable.


Being hateful towards things deserving of hatred is not a right but a duty.


that escalated at a decent pace.


So what? It's dumb to name a kid after someone else. Every person has the right to a unique identity.


**WOLOLO**

*Obama instantly turns republican*


You just shot yourself in the foot.

This is the most successful karma train I have been on.


foreigners dont count as people.


I just have to ask who the dumb fuck is trying to make a living on minimum wage.  Apply yourself and get a promotion or a real job.  These jobs are entry level positions.


U avin a giggle m8???


There is no game coming out this year called Victory. Please do your research before making stupid comments.


Internet bullets! Pew! Pew!


I personally don't believe in abortions for anyone, not even rape victims, but this guy is just unbelievable.

EDIT: Sorry I can't reply to all your posts I've been half-banned from /r/politics due to my negative comment karma. I can only post every ten minutes.


Because back then you had people saying "If you oppose this, then you're a terrorist sympathizer". And both Democrats and Republicans supported the Patriot Act because they don't want to be seen as "weak on terrorism"


Sorry, forgot to mention that I have gotten pictures, and heard her voice. I heard her voice through my friend sending me a clip though not through her directly.


Yes, I had a nice meal that IT cooked me made from Human Resources.


OH SHIT!  HERE COMES AN "S"!

Stay in school.


Nah he wasn't, just another older gay pressured into a loveless sham marriage to keep up appearances.


Who the fuck is downvoting this?


Guys do that same dance.  Trust me.


Wow, I can't believe you just used rape like that... Women are raped every day just for being women. Us women have been raped, neglected, and ignored for centuries. Now we are fighting for equal rights and you just sit there and throw rape around like it's some form of win? Wow, shame on you misogynists.


You know you suck when even Olive Garden thinks you suck.


You and I have differing views on the definition of "hot": http://resources0.news.com.au/images/2015/01/14/1227184/030484-320f2a14-9b22-11e4-a5a9-b4e8644e9682.jpg


It is, it's called/r/punchablefaces


Well there is warnings ans thkngs at the airport


All Mexican and Black jokes are the same. Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.


She looks like an alien to me. No thanks.


I once had a professor who said education is series of progressively more intricate lies that gradually approach the truth.


He's nowhere close to correct, they're two different games and mut has plenty of issues of it's own.  Contracts aren't an issue and I've had no problem earning mt.  Tried helping people out but everyone's too busy crying to listen.


You Marley and me'd dude.


Just fucking deal with it... this is why men should always use a condom. And when you do not, you fucking deal with it.... Bitch.


i don't know, maybe my phone in case my mom calls.


Misogyny is the hatred of women. This is nowhere near hatred.


This may be the most fucked up penis I've ever seen, but it's far from the biggest. This guy used silicone partly, but there are people who use silicone to make their dicks literally as big as their leg. I don't know how they function in society but they must live in California or something.

^(I've been on the internet too long I want to go outside now. :( )


I'm just trying to stomp on all of this speculation about the guys transferring.

It's NOT going to happen.


Am I the only one hoping "Proof" was going to be a helmet cam of his at the time proving he wasn't checking out her ass?


I thought so.

Oh, and the white girl looks boring. I'd say you should probably ditch her.


Dammit! He probably explained how to build a time machine or some shit.


It's a picture that's been making the rounds for a while. I liked that dog's face so much that I wanted to make sure I saw it everyday.

EDIT: Here's the [original](http://i.imgur.com/ks9p1.jpg).


Man, Naked Snake is an asshole.


LOL, you're an idiot. Pedophilia is attraction to prepubescent children, so being attracted to a 13 year old is completely normal and most men are attracted to them. It's not even ephebophilia, that's just another American way to delegitimize sex with teenagers. Ephebophilia would be if you were attracted *only* to teenagers and not to adults at all.


Huh. Guess I should slow down my pace.


Out of the first 10 reps only potentially one is parallel.

His deadlift is ridiculous, wish I was that strong.


My school is the exact same. Fire alarm rings and nobody flinches, not even us students anymore.

You know something is wrong when it's been ringing more than 30 seconds though.


You just learned why we keep our private and internet lives separate.


Not repented; covered his tracks.


Your comment was AUTOMATICALLY removed because it violates the verbal morality code.


This is beautiful storytelling.. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time! Upvote for you


to be fair you are a fake archangelle


A robot that shoots kindergarteners with tumors.


Niggers let them out.


Too late I already fapped


This is totally considered Cyber Squatting and there are laws to protect companies from abusers like you.


> I've done a bit of research and 0/10 would not recommend a jaguar.

So 10/10 would recommend a jaguar then?


>Park equipment is extremely expensive. That one swing is at least $50.

>extremely expensive.

>expensive

>$50

That word you keep using... I don't think it means what you think it means.


Yeah. Let's hope so.


> And everything is *well tailored* for a photoshoot

FTFY


Watch out for this guy, folks.


don't label your shit as SPOILER ALL then


Part of me thinks he's a brat, but the other part of me is happy that kids still want toys.


That song is old dude.


That's actually me when I was giving the puppy to her...haha


I'm a girl, and if a guy is afraid of ripping sone hairs out that says a lot.


You can't bring back something that never happened.


Thanks, I was unable to look for myself. Seriously, this shit needs to stop.


I had to go back and make sure I didn't actually put that.


How do you not have more upvotes?


and counter-measures like banning a Rwandan kid from a school. A kid from Rwanda; country literally  on the other side of a continent from the outbreak, with zero cases of Ebola, ever.


Isn't it fun when we judge people's real personality by how they act online. I think it is really fun and silly.


I have never agreed with anything more in my life. There is a serious lack of good drivers in washington. The Asians are not helping either, no offense


the lions did have a chance and they blew it...twice.


People keep reporting your post.


People are reading this *now* dude! WTF are you doing posting this in *school*?

**STOP WASTING EVERYONES TIME HERE.**

redditors have better things to do than wait hours for your answers


What the fuck happened here? It's like walking through a boneyard


qb? rofl you american fag.... can't we make a /r/cancer whores for these people.. so sick of these dying front page posts


And, as a professor, I can tell you that this behavior is rude. Most of us will ask you to do this on your own time.


Gays use drugs and have aids because the are selfish and reckless. Not because of Christians.


I wonder what she has done on that monitor that's so secret.


Don't know if legitimately stupid or trolling.


YOU'D BETTER BE TYPING THIS WITH GLOVES!


That was a really nice way to say motherfucking pussies. I take it you're Canadian.


I watch Game of Thrones?


fucking moron. You dont wear socks with boat shoes. EVER


HAHAH YOUR PLAN MEANS NOTHING TO ME AS GEICO DOESN'T EXIST IN MY COUNTRY!!!


Really, a group founded on a jealous ex-boyfriend's easily disproven claims? Are group whose biggest achievements are harassing women online and forcing them out of their homes? And you're using a bullshit [sockpuppet hashtag.](http://arstechnica.com/gaming/2014/09/new-chat-logs-show-how-4chan-users-pushed-gamergate-into-the-national-spotlight/)


I have a friend who's great grandparent was about 1/2 Native American - the ultimate rarity and gem on a college application. She got into almost every school she applied to despite her shitty grades.


Why don't you have a seat over there?


1) There's a zero tolerance policy.

2) You've complained.

3) The bully hasn't been reprimanded or stopped.

You have to get the administrators fired.  Honestly, there's a good chance someone other than your kid (who can defend himself) will get very seriously injured here.


Really, you think she's beautiful? I'd call her average at best.


Yeah, we didn't last long after that.


why would you think that?


yes. I would be fucking pissed off, and say a few comments. Passive Aggressive.


Nah, she'll be fine... Reddit keeps telling me that drugs are a victimless crime and don't hurt anyone.


Still a good Samaritan move, outed a cheater.


In front of every woman working is a failure of a man.

If your wife is working because she wants to she is a fucking cunt, if she is working because she has to, then you are not taking care of your family.


I enjoyed picturing a grown man yelling "Treat" in a heavy Swedish accent with his arms in the air.


Seriously how are they to blame? If I make a purchase without researching the company that's on me. I can't blame the person who recommended the company to me. They didn't steal my identity, they didn't take money out of my account.


The weirdest part is you staying and watching...


It wasn't a test it was homework.


Seems like an Americanised version of tea and biscuits.


Yes he was contributing so much to the discussion.


All the other guys who know their penis length to within one tenth of an inch &#3232;\_&#3232;


"""You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretsky" -Michael Scott" -skippy17"
-GabRoyer


> Enter through the window: Jackie Chan.


Lies are often comforting, aren't they?


Thanks for that, I run Sickipedia. You're not wrong about the crippling.


I hope you're joking xD


spoiler alert: [flying bacon](/spoiler)


>insanely painful procedure of procedure of bone stretching

Or you could just do height exercises.


Fap, fap, fapping at my chamber door.


Too bad it's not also a good grammar garden.


May a thousand women bear his seed


How can you be sure? They all look the same.


That's exactly it.

A dealer doesn't want attention.

They'd rather you don't even remember seeing them at all.

Unless they feel threatened, they have no reason to bother you.

(Damn, I've made dealers sound like wild animals)


Having something like that happen can shit all over the morale of a team. The refs are obviously working against them. Its hard enough to beat an NFL playoff team. Its almost impossible when the refs are partying with the other teams owner.


Woah! Thanks so much! I haven't seen the movie yet!


That's dumb as Shit... Find a routine that works for you and stick to it.

Sorry. But it is. There's nothing wrong with wanting to shake things up every once in a while. It's just not as effective as sticking to a working routine...


What a perv.  Everybody knows the real flexibility test is if you can touch your bellybutton with both elbows.


DAE HATE SCENOREOS XD
fucking retarded circlejerkers lol


> how to get his account number without raising suspicions...? ;)

I will give you 25% of my royal inheritence if you send me these account detail.  I have no way of transferring it myself and need a middle man account so that I too may access my royal inheritence.

Sincerly,

Prince Nigel Kuntikente Ubuntu Jr. III


I used to nearly fall off my dinosaur, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Lol, it was so bad that the interviewer was interviewing the President of Uruguay and called him the "President of Colombia". WTF.

[Here's the moment he does it for all the disbelievers.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQBXQxunVaY#t=1050)


As a human, shut the fuck up.


Not if it was your daughter.


You do realize that Christopher Walken didn't actually put the watch up his ass, right? Rather, he was what is called "acting".


An olympic doctor? Fuck, that is motivational, man.


The story makes the Paul people look bad. You were trying to game the system. You lots and now you are complaining that the result represents how people voted.


That would explain all the strange noises!


dramz dezerve commentz


Nerves aren't nice neat little strands. They branch and are connected to tissues all over. You guys can rest easy knowing this is pretty much guaranteed urban legend.


My grandpa read that to me when I was 5.


They put all the beds in the same room. They are totally having sex... with each other.


as the uglier of the two girls, can you get me the other chick's number?


To know what to do I just ask the words to the kids or the computer. And I do a really good job.


Have fun fuckin your mattress for the rest of your life PC queer.


Wut...? She thought it was temporary then decides it's somehow better to pay several times the cost of a sharpie to write something on her body?


This should be the top comment.


Grey, because that way we know he can get assasinated once and still come back as white


He never left the box - batter thought it was a ball like the ump. Good call.

(Go rangers for context)


Just confirmed with your mother.


I know, I obviously miss spelled it and auto correct crazy haha. Thank you. I still think 7 down votes for a spelling mistake is a bit harsh.


Ah, the ol' Reddit gofuckyourself.


Yeah! What a war story! A shitty little pissant nation that we empowered in the first place was a target for our moron soldiers! Heroes, all of them.


Not very good, that was CGI in Forrest Gump.


:'( my comments always get downvoted


Good evening, sir, and welcome to Hell. Right this way, please.


I'm not gay, I don't own a TV, and spend my time on the Internet or reading books.


Heaviest one in here. I dont even have anything I can say to that, I wouldnt even know what to feel.


>-buys mass produced game ***that would only exist thanks to a private corporation***

*"It's true because I said so."*

>-Goes on website owned by private corporation

*While blocking their advertisements*

>-On his computer which is built by private corporation

*Because they have a monopoly*

You are fucking retarded


As a hairy male, I can confirm this.


Son of a bitch mentality?


But then he sits and has a conversation with your empty chair, so it's ok.


LOL. Sure it does. (pats head)


The one with the juror.


You fattys always have an excuse for being fat. "blah blah i have a health problem that causes me to eat all day and not EXERCISE" Just stop eating so much and such bad foods you dumb fattys.


No, those are the names of mods for CoD that will come out.


A drunk pissed off feminist. Somebody call the kennel.


Implying Mac would be at a strip club with girls


He also needs to delete his post. It sucks, it's on a phone and it has a mfw but no face.


no and no thanks hahahah and i dont think its possible, ask your mother.


My least favorite type of celebrity who thinks always-looking-high is some kind of comedic talent. That's not funny.


Huh. I don't have you tagged because you are insignificant. Carry on.


His weight distribution is uneven as fuck and if he didn't switch his feet, one leg would probably end up sorer.  Also, it makes him look like a super cool badass.


An unknown player doing this in mm should get banned because they are cheating


Reddit is like the gentle giant who wants to cuddle kittens but can't without crushing them.


*starts fucking up the game more*


You got that completely wrong. The tribe is not nomadic!


actually, he's not.

Hefner is worth $7.2 billion. Seinfeld is worth $4.6 billion.


Fun Fact: If you adjust for inflation, Gone with the Wind is still the highest grossing film of all time. It was released in 1939.

http://boxofficemojo.com/alltime/adjusted.htm


As one of his mods, no, we have not told people to downvote a thread. So get your head out of your ass.

Secondly, the words are not autobanned, the statements and attacks that are paired with them ARE going to be banned.

The first rule is don't be a fucking dick, so don't be a fucking dick.

EDIT: Yes, please, send the downvotes for being his mod.


Yes everyone listen to a pasty white redditor who grew up in an all white suburb tell you about gangster safety


It's funny she has the same face when we do Anal.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qBW59yz-_ZM

he actually did, just didn't make it in the gif hahahaha


i think i  missed aa question mark '?'


Still a better love story than Twilight.


Is Google broken or something?

All these guns can easily be looked up with values based on all conditions.


I fucking hate when people pretend to be bankers.


All it says it that he is statistically the best, which he is in all the major rushing catagories. You can't argue with the numbers. No argurment, no opinions. You're discounting the entire 2014 season. I didn't see much of AP last year, did you?


Manifest destiny, bitches.


Haha! That is an awesome comment.


I think the really remarkable thing about this is that a 5-6 year old was able to catch multiple rabbits and birds.

That takes some coordination.


Not true. Go watch a few Daniel Tosh standup specials.

Edit: I'm willing to bet that all of you downvoting me have only ever seen him on Tosh.0.

Edit2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTxnrzo7RdY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJvCR3Ww6i4


You probably don't deserve them at their best!


I'd like to see the morons that bought this over a nexus


It appears sticking your dick in crazy worked out that time.


From what we can assume, this young lady has slept with 2 people.  Since it is clear you are around the age of 13 let me tell you something - if by 21 you have not slept with at least 2 people you are failing at life.


Eye of the beerholder.

FTFY


I'm almost certain the people making these 'tips' these days is really just CSIS or CSEC.


Try blind and unrelenting support for any idea. Be it patriotism, religion or nickelback


And you're not pompous? It's a dog in a shopping cart FFS. He's not aborting fetuses or shooting kittens. It's a dog. Why is everyone's panties in a bunch over this? He doesn't think he's special. He's not doing *to* you or anyone.


Tobias is full of amazing lines:

"You're forgetting, Lindsay, that as a psychiatrist, I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first "analrapist"."


I dunno, I think spending much of your time updating a novelty account for the approval of internet strangers makes you more of a faggot than me.

I mean, hey, at least I've fucked a woman, right? [](/hahaha "Some bronies don't believe in "love and tolerance". Especially when some people don't deserve it.")


I went to school with blckravn01. I have a recording of his one recitals from awhile back.

[Soundcloud link](http://soundcloud.com/trollingreddit/sonata-15-c-waynesbury-college)


Downvoting by itself is not an effective control on the number of shitposts.  Whiny bitching is.  Hence the whiny bitching will continue.


"Why did Lissandra just ult herself?" - TSM

"Why did Lissandra just ult herself?" - CLG


> If you read the big word across the side of the vehicle the suspect was driving it says FED EX.

Where is he pictured actually driving it? All I can tell is that it is parked in the background.


oh thank god they showed the ending.


Should have made it puppies instead of kittens, then you could just switch to having anal with the dog instead...


I watched it, thought it was pretty alright.

BUT just like EVERY Seth Rogan film, it has about 5 funny parts and then the rest barely makes you force air through your nose.


Why would you think that? It says right on the side "Colin Robertson had 3 minutes on the TED stage to tell the world about his solar-powered crowdsourced health care solution. And then... the whole talk turned out to be a wonderful and hilarious prank by ImprovEverywhere."


Meaning that she has an easy button?


I'm down voting every single one I see


Kanye. Sufjan Stevens. Yann Tiersen. Beirut.


That's not really cheap. He paid for the food - why should he give it away?

Edit: Lots of downvotes for this one. After reading some replies, I realized, WTF is wrong with me?


People who act like smug dicks because they read a lot are just as bad.


The fuck? Nobody in their right mind would try to get someone they love in jail.
Just because someone has cp, which is gross, it doesn't mean they were anyway involved with having the girls take the pictures. Finding an image on the internet doesn't hurt anyone.


meant to give gold to the other comment, fuck.

enjoy nonetheless


Brilliant retort.  Now go back to your day job asking people if they want to supersize their fries.


Am I the only one that gets the impression that he wasn't actually talking about alcohol?  He says "drinks and snacks".  Sounded like he was just illustrating that he had people catering to him.  Funny video and everything, but it seems to me like he really was talking about Mountain Dew^tm , baby.

edit:  Ok, you're very clever, enough "LOL you got fooled LOL" replies.


What kind of idiot would believe in wizards? oh wait, the same people who believe they get to fuck 72 virgins in the afterlife for blowing themselves up with plastic explosives.


Attention ehhhh.

Checks her recent history... No nudes.

Guys, her comment about desperate need for attention doesn't check out. Get the pitchforks.


Hello
[Imgur](http://i.imgur.com/Bej8M)


MY DADDY SAYD DAT DIS IS A GOOD THING CAWSE DEN DA GIRLS WILL KNOW DAT YOU ARE DA GAY MAN AND DEY WONT WASTE DER TYME WIT YOU GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Or the child was trolling her pretty hard.


it says a lot about the game when someone really bad like Goody can take games off of legitimately good player such as MMA, Nestea, etc. macro aint mean shit in a ball vs ball game.


College instructor here. Don't bother telling me why you were late or apologize - all you'll do is point out to me that you're a freshman. It's cool if you're late, stuff happens.

Your mileage with your instructors may vary.


You do understand his relationship to his newborn nephew is not as the father correct?


I'll drive you there for free.


Because people are abusing the downvote button.

**edit:** Point proven for me.


Can you imagine how much of a mind fuck that would be?  To experience an entire new DIMENSION that you'd never seen before?
Edit:  Multiple suggestions to try Acid.  Will update.


No.  Teaching gym is the easiest thing in the world.  Even the bad kids love gym class, and they can be as loud as they want.


Press "S" to for suicide in prison


Look up BPD and get back to me. There are no pills. There is no group therapy. There is only one-on-one with a therapist the patient trusts.


I imagine the awkward email asking for it back.

"Hey, um, did you happen to accidentally pack a dropcam when you were getting ready to go? We can't find ours."

"Sure, I can check. Where did you leave it?"

"You know what, nevermind."


I highly doubt she has played any of the games in the franchise.


He'll follow you there...


no he got head chopped


What a thing of beauty.


Your brother is autistic?


To be fair, That's What Bilbo Baggins Hates was a pretty good song, so that somewhat redeems it.

I'm not sure if there's anything about the love triangle that redeems it.


Yeah, it was in the news over in Bankock yesterday.


you earned it, buddy.


I liked when we got away with subs like /r/teen_girls and /r/thenewjailbait. Until someone bitched about it and it got to the front page and was removed.

Edit: Poor choice of words. I mean it was ironic that we got away with subs like this.

Edit again: please continue to downvote this, you guys are making a big difference in the world.


Obligatory:

:O <===8

:===8

:=8

:3


Of course I am trying to make her feel bad. She has announced she wants to do something which is morally very wrong and is now even asking for emotional support.


He will be saying brownies in 10 years for a different reason


Anyone who lives in an apartment and uses a musical instrument is a fucking ass hole.  If you want the band to practice in your home, don't move into a place where you share walls with other people.


The acting teacher owes Stallone


Martin Luther King was a poor boy trying to change the world. Did it work ? No. Did he got killed ? Yes.

**JUST SAYING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS**


...not sure if it works or elaborate trolling everyone who has gotten caught by agrees to make more people get caught by to make themselves feel less stupid.

edit: amazing how approval from 500 random people can significantly improve your day. thanks guys.


lol no.

thats not what happened.

hope this helps.


that's hot, would jizz on.  +1


i dont think any college class can be compared to a 9th grade class


Well then don't kill innocent people in a supermarket if you don't want to get fucked up


In retrospect, probably would have saved me a couple minutes replying with comments that he donated as well. I didn't want to make the title too long though, and I got my karma anyway.


Seriously? Jamaica isn't worth exploring and is dangerous because people may whistle at you? what a first world problem.


He was getting high on his own supply


United have the second youngest team in the premiership.


When I went to Australia they had squirrels in the zoo.  All of my Australian friends were freaking out and I was like what the hell.


tell that chick to take that hunk of metal out of her face and maybe I'd let her take it in the ass from me


Oh how typical. A pen with black ink.


whats wrong we're all thinking the same im just man enough to type it out loser


This is why she shouldn't leave the kitchen.


One day you should leave a knife on his desk with a note that says, "Cut them, or we will cut you."


Patrolling the Middle East almost makes you wish for a nuclear bacon.


My 12 year old daughter said basically the same thing last week. She's had the talk already with the wife, but came home from school with some idea that we'd only had sex twice. The wife and I - with gleeful grins - said "uh, no". The wife continued: "People can do it for pleasure." "Do you two, uh...?" said the daughter. The wife and I look at each other, nod. "GROSS!"


A fucking minefield? Man, I've only seen regular minefields. I wonder what a *fucking* minefield looks like. Sounds sexy.


But...I want to believe.


Don't listen to these people.  Just keep doing you.


Starring Denzel Washington.


On the real tho I did think it was legitimate and funny..


His head looks disproportionately large in the original after watching the gif a few times lol


/r/minecraft+clopclop


This is silly. Redditors are too intelligent to have any brand loyalties.

Unlike those idiots on Facebook...


> I'm afraid to have to be the one to break it to you, but your little secret is already out.

That's my point... There's too much information on the subject out there already. But OP can't seem to find any?

Who's thought process is: This seems shady - I'll inform the government.
That's the person you want in your corner?


We found out she wasn't responding to her treatment two days after I proposed, and she only got worse after that. We didn't know it was to that extent, the Dr. hadn't told us the severity of her situation at that point in time. So yes, I proposed to her just as any person would; I never could have imagined she wouldn't be here today.


Nobody cares, Apostolate.


Just watched an episode with my son where Grandpa and Stu take Tommy to a baseball game where he's so neglected he manages to climb all the way to the top tier of the stands and fall about 50 feet into the catcher's mitt.  The entire time his Dad and Grandpa assume a teddy with his hat on is him. And they fall asleep.


Right. Can't expect a bludger like you to use Google.


A surprised kernigget riding a subtell perterodactyl on wed nes day.


Rofl yeah let me tell you, you totally have PTSD. What a troublesome life you have, forget most Vietnam war veterans didnt even develop PTSD but im sure you did.


It's obvious by this point that he [didn't read it](http://www.gifsforum.com/images/gif/did%20not%20read/grand/didnt_read_dance_gif.gif).


Stop watching gay porn, you fag.

Edit: [Anyone who is whining and bitching are a bunch of fucking faggots.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fcja4WFFzDw)


Imagine a Mythbusters - Bill Nye tag team?  Think of the *science* that could get done.


Think about it. Someone whores out their friends death on a social media site. Someone else has the big brass balls it takes to say how sorry he is.

You tools. No wonder we're fucked.


That is your right; the State of California chooses Ser Arnyld Swartsyn of house Negger as it's champion.


I'm just wasting your time. Like I said, you're too stupid to realize it.


So true. Dressing like a bum plays into the preconception many people have that protesters are just lazy people who don't want to get a job.


Tottenham have NEVER lost a game in the Blue Square North.


I HAVE NO STANDARDS ANYWAY IT'S OKAY.

No, but seriously I talk to absolutely anyone who initiates a conversation.


Really? You should try to find a new employer if you're never allowed to leave during work hours.

I've never had this issue with leaving, provided i make up the time.

But really, politics isn't like a job you (assumed) or i have.


You seem a bit shallow.


So, did you hear someone was offended by the assholes on the Internet?

Hmm, he should just learn to ignore them.

*She* was female.

THOSE BASTARDS!


wow is it that easy?? gimme karma!! :)) O boy I'm going to have *so much* karma!!


There is also an expectation that the male sexual drive is difficult to control, which is why the court upheld the argument.


Because it's literally not the same character.


>If you run from american cops - expect to get hurt. A lot.

ftfy


Lawyered!

What an excellent response from you, and a surprisingly good response from the parent, considering everything else in the thread.


Nobody actually wants Dinosaurs except for those that don't get the joke.

There's a chance that the information for what's included in this DLC is placeholders / not 100% true.


Well, I ain't got no fancy book learning like you, but I'm fairly certain that it is in fact a devil skull.


What does torchlight have that D3 doesn't? Don't give me any god damn no drm/online required reasons.

Even the new features page has NO new gameplay improvements from T1 -> T2. I do not get what is so great about this game. Its the same thing as D2 with cartoon graphics. COOP is the only improvement, but that should of been in the original anyway.

http://www.torchlight2game.com/about/


It's extremely common for Australians to get pissed and chuck heaps of chips into the microwave. Most Aussie households have locks on both their microwaves and their freezers to stop drunk bogans from breaking in and pulling this shit. That's why so many call themselves "Chippies".


fuck you! you're a ratting douche


Thanks goodness. For a brief moment I thought you said "It just makes me harder."


It's funny because it's the first time I heard that one.


Ha I was just saying this. I wonder whom i'd have to contact, Or who is the Copyright owner at this point... It would be worth it to me to try, you know for a moral victory. The lady I spoke with at Wells Fargo almost sounded hostile, She's like "We need to have it destroyed! Bring it in to a location immediately!"

*Edit* for the Grammar Nazis


*Sigh* another censor. This one would block it because he don't like the link!


I'm a guy and I would take that as a compliment


I know that its just funny to see people post the weapon type like they are smart asses or shit like "boresights". I think most people already knew what type of gun it was(because we already knew Germany supplied the Kurds with a bunch of weapons and equipment.


You can curse on the Internet, Elon.


Almost forgot *them*.


After my heart surgery I lost quite a bit of weight and my ex wife sharon asked me "why not try suspenders, it might be a good look." I tried them, a few people called in to say they like them, and the rest is history.


It's an example of two different artists from two different eras, and I'm trying to do two things.

1. Maybe get a laugh (which probably didn't work for you, because you strike me as a bitter hermit)

2. Point out that, in my opinion, music was a bit more thoughtful and creative back then than it is nowadays.


o dayayauaudummm niggah


Fuck you, if you ban me it just proves I'm right!


You have been unsubscribed from bird facts.


They are going to hell anyway. They deserved their punishment for violating the lord's word.


How do you circumcise a redneck? kick his sister in the jaw


Hahaha, no. Bringing a whole bunch of people here which eventually led to this sub going to shit.


Unless somebody takes a video and it goes viral.

Fuck the internet.


Twist:  "the window" is the nickname for another astronaut, and "the Earth" is the nickname for their...   c'mon people, zero G?  That's got to be more motivating than being at the olympic village, or at a good old folk's home (the two most per-capita likely to have some coitus places on earth).


Hey I know that brick wall, and those bushes! Do you by any chance live on Earth?

Edit: whoa. thanks, whoever. and no it wasn't me haha


It  was an unfortunate fall. Fuck off with the Stoke witch hunt.


Did you meet on a bus?


I told him to leave the house and find himself a new place.
Around $45 dollars. Not much but it's still unacceptable behavior.


If it weren't for the fact that they still make unique games I enjoy, I wouldn't be able to stand them.  They're terrible at most things involving their community.


Sounds like you took said Gender Studies class too seriously, mate.


I feel sorry for the daughter who's going to grow up thinking this kind of behaviour is acceptable and learn the hard way that it's very much not.


LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOOLOL UMAD BRO?!?!?!LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOOLOL UMAD BRO?!?!?!LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOOLOL UMAD BRO?!?!?!LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOOLOL UMAD BRO?!?!?!
TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO!!!!!!!!!!!


I am, but my roommate is brown. It's pretty multicultural here, there's a few families of different types. So why we were targetted is a mystery.


I'm not saying who is right and who is wrong. I am saying we need all the facts before an assertion can be made. Maybe you posted something that was completely inappropriate and that cost them their job, family or whatever, anger can lead to many threats being made. I'm not willing to be pissed off at someone unless I know all the facts, so what led to this.


Nah, the first time was when she was on a bus while wearing a reddit shirt and sitting next to some guy on his phone sweating, asking reddit what he should do.


The thing is that I don't really have solid evidence for or against this and I don't want to jump to a conclusion.


^((\ ^. ^0 ^.)\ ノ( º - ºノ) (╯°□°）╯︵ (\ . 0 .)\  ︵ (╯°□°）╯^^^I'm ^^^Saved.
I saved everyone... I think...


Bara för du byter ut ordet ras mot kultur gör det inte din kommentar mindre rasistisk.


JB: Grohl is the God of Thunder.
KG: It's like working with a force of nature.


Woah there man, calm down or I might have to resort to unfriending you.


The only interesting birthday was in 2009 when they got me a birthday cake


-Louis C.K

Gotta love that one.


That's technically her first born.


No. I was talking about like 5 years ago.


Life is short. Why not ask him while he fists you?


here's another pic that shows the debris is clearly from an airplane http://i.imgur.com/oC4nZ.jpg


I'm not a big fan of all these fights, but if you hit someone you are asking to get hit back.


People just don't like other people being smarter or more educated than themselves.


I don't know if you're serious or not, but I really hope you are. I fully and COMPLETELY stand behind restricting submissions forever. Not because I want this sub to end, because i dont it's fucking hilarious, but because this is such a perfect fucking way to go out.


If he had that sign in Florida he'd get shot by a neighborhood watch guy and then the cops would cover up the evidence that he was murdered.


> When we moved the mattress out, we found a stash of used manpons. This guy was a heavy set dude, and to stop butt sweat he would jam a wad of toilet paper down his crack to keep dry, and apparently discard them next to his bed.

This is the first time I've heard of a "manpon"... and I'm *really* hoping it's the last, too.... &#3232;\_&#3232;


They all apologized profusely, and then agreed that female gender is best gender


Haha, "You've disappointed lots of women. Well done"


By badass you mean silly, sure looking like loke or looking like most characters in any fantasy mmo can be badass but it's still nothing uniqe.
I'm sry i got me GW2, pvp is so easy and just boring with no trinity.
Hardly even played this weekend.


Return from the date, say "I gave her head. Pay up, big man!".


.......go eat a bag of dicks.


Most professional retail ~~shoppers~~ scammers will basically name their own price and then bark their way up the chain until they get it.


I hope so, because he should have been double checking in the first place.


Tony Stark does a great Robert Downy Jr.  Impression.


You know, fuck you and the OP for this lame ass shit.  What the hell is wrong with you people?


The difference is westborro stays put. If you don't want to listen to them you can walk away. This guy wouldn't let him do that. Everytime he tried to remove himself from the situation the guy followed him and got right back in his face...  People have freedom of speech... They dont have freedom of harassment.


Is that a good thing or bad? [Pew Pew!]  (http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnbu8nBFDS1qikhz3o1_500.gif)


"I couldn't find one with just you in it."


Came here to say this, it was already said 3 hours ago..

..reddit.


If I didn't like what my mom was cooking, she would just tell me to eat it anyway or starve. lol


>Only that the Gaters are not even consistent at that. When Dan Olson wrote an Article, exposing 8chans child porn boards, they tried to get him arrested.

They are often inconsistent without a doubt, but that specific thing mentioned isn't really inconsistent.


Why is that ridiculous ??

This guy has the ability to spew buzz words. Get him into middle management ASAP.


Life under the Soviet Union, especially in the 1980s, wasn't THAT bad. It's not really comparable to Sweden or Norway, but it's not nearly as awful as Russia today.


I'm not sure what you're talking abo-***Fiery Spirit of the Yordle Inferno!***


You're talking out your ass


That would give my dick rug-burn though


Grow up?  I'm supposed to grow up?  Yes, because I'm the one who's been trolling... myself, right?

I won't say "sorry", not only because I have nothing to apologize for, but am not sorry.

And as for my continuing to bring it up, I have had no choice but to defend myself.


“The media's the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, and that's power. Because they control the minds of the masses.”

― Malcolm X


>During a non-ictic partial complex absence seizure it's so scary because you can't move to speak to tell someone what's wrong. A couple of times I've managed to point to my [CENSORED] and then they took their [CENSORED] out and [CENSORED] the ambulance, but yeah.


The bottom photo has all the characteristics of a promo shot for a late 90's kids educational tv show about science...with a fun, wacky spin.
Quirky host, but tv handsome.
Lab coat.
Laboratory back drop.
Fish eye lens, [dutched](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_angle). (Bonus points)
Looking at this photo, i can almost hear the theme song now. And it IS ZANY.


2 is a lot? I guess you you also count handies, but that's still only 3.


Everybody walk the dinosaur.


Agreed. I know this is a little weird but I screencapped the video when she was laughing so I can masturbate to it later. No offense to OP, I've just always loved Mexican women. Also the little girl who starts the video is incredibly cute, I saved a photo of her too. :)


~~The peak~~ Parts of Mt Everest have 4G.


If so, the level in MLS has to be poor. He was just an average player in Tippeligaen, really just average on RBK aswell.


The future is already here, it's just not very evenly distributed.

-William Gibson


did your diploma you bought off the internet also misspell engineer?


This pisses me off so badly. In just a few years, we managed to go from never having orbited, to landing on another thingy up there, and then it just kind of stopped.


Yea, they're not offing themselves on random street corners.


For your convenience I have translated this to the PopTart scale:

    1 = cold PopTart
    2 = cold PopTart
    3 = slightly above room temperature PopTart
    3,49999999 = tepid PopTart
    3,5 = Nicely done PopTart *
    3,50000001 = House fire
    4 = Magma
    5 = Plasma
    6 = Self-sustaining nuclear fusion

    * theoretical outcome never actually observed


Don't listen to this dribble. It's just the karma whoring answer the OP is looking for "oh it's not your fault it was those DAMN IRRESPONSIBLE OWNERS NOW GIVE ME UPVOTES"

You killed the dog, douche. You weren't paying attention to your surroundings in a motor vehicle and now you need to fess up.


I browse Reddit as well.


Sorry, but i never saw him dive this game (edit:except the yellow) and once he got kicked in the calves which should have been a yellow.


Johnny Manziel and JR Smith are in Cleveland, so probably the best


I really don't get why anybody cares.  And I doubt the Sedins care.  At all.  People get roped into saying dumb shit in interviews all the time.  If Henrik Sedin is upset about it, he can go fight Jamie Benn the next time Dallas rolls through...


Dude, I could care less about what happened. I got the crystal within the game and never hacked or exploited, ever. Therefor what StephenReid is saying is false and a lie. Yes, I called im a liar and he is full of crap. Also, them discussing this openly is a major breach in their ToS. Just throwing that out there.


I will never use drugs. I will always keep good hygiene. I will always keep checks on every single infection that I ever have ever.

r/WTF. My anti-drug.


Show your work before you make such claim.


... and true Christianity


Wow.... You need to watch Everything is ok Now by Julian Smith


Actually, it's the ones who *don't* get treatment that usually don't end well.

Restraints, while an ugly necessity, usually means a person is in a position where they're getting some treatment.

At least in the first world. >_>


A person's culture deserves to be respected unless they are a Nazi. Wtf is wrong with you? Im not muslim, but this is disrespectful.


Bourne: The College Years


I don't understand why we get down voted when we can't buy gold but express it. I had -3 for saying " someone give this man gold" lol he had an honest comment.


Seriously, people from reddit made those.


The first ban was from making multiple threads about CCPs movement on the EULA change than others on circumventing the EULA using such programs. After multiple times of being told stop posting such a subject he's been since banned along with his subsequent accounts evading the bans. I was willing to give him a second chance but he opted to sperg out about freedom of speech and ISBOXER.


Wow, that's terrifying.


Not on Reddit no. Too busy partying with my lady tyvm.


My girlfriend recently made me watch The Vow. That movie sucked.


Sir, I think you have broken the record for highest horse ever.


If you get a ball stuck in the gutters and then throw another ball to try to knock it out...You're gonna have a bad time


Please stop it guys please please stop it please


Except the people using the Guy Fawkes mask aren't idolizing Guy Fawkes. They're idolizing the revolutionary character "V" from "V for Vendetta".


I can has assless chaps?


I don't appreciate your blue text tricking me into clicking on it.


MOMMMYY WHY DOS DA HOMEWESS MAN GET TO HAS DA COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!! I WANA ATE DA COOKIES!!!!!! NO MOAR BWOCKOLEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EDIT: GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


An actual wordplay joke that's not a pun.  More upvotes over here, people.


I know exactly who I am replying to, pencil dick.


Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson


Don't give up, practice makes perfect. Just pull the trigger pussy.


You mean it's cute for hot girl to be awkward.


drop dead, the nazis didnt kill any iranians, they did kill plenty of my relativesand israelis relatives ... you want to call Israelis nazis to piss them off , dont pretend you are anything but a hater ...  why are there so many nasty antisemites on reddit, so tiresome


**BUT THEY DON'T HAVE SEX**


Short season get over it


I thought about sending that stuff once. I was bitter and probably just looking for a reaction since she really left that time (we had argued about breaking up before and she finally meant it, I was in kinda denial.)

I'm so glad I didn't. It would look so stupid and cringey. I'm over it now anyway and who knows, maybe one day before I toss em out I'll get a smile out of some of the stuff.


Pretty sure most people browse r/all.


Fist-bump your awesome Dad.


You can:

- Get training
- Make money
- Find the resurces
- Make the time
- Discover the contacts to find those things

You can say whatever you want. Even when it makes you look like a DB. Which you did.


"Precanceled non profit presorted standard class" sounds like an elaborate Starbucks order.


I is agrees with yous.


I felt the hate flow through my veins as I read that.


Wuh oh! Sounds like we have another Obama welfare darling here.


Costco also has glasses


After a while, this kind of stuff becomes a pattern... What kind of people make good drivers with a grip on their driving abilities, what kind of people are bad drivers yet arrogant and critical of other drivers that are the same as himself, what type of people make aggressive drivers.


Now THAT is what I call customer service.

Well done.


Think your going to eat a serving. End up eating the whole damn box. True Story


But the ending was shit.


Doesn't matter what he thinks is uncalled for or not. Especially making 6 accounts now and trying to stir shit. He's been warmed multiple times and does it anyway.


You've been carrying this weight for a long time, haven't you?


> I'm 24, about to marry a **girl** 15 years older than myself

Hahaha you fucking weirdo. You couldn't get a girl your age so you decide to marry a saggy old woman... Why in the world would anyone take life advice from you?


and how truly annoying it is when you say "is this because you're on your period?"
Don't ever say that.


stop contributing to rape culture you misogynist turd!!!


Yeah, they did it all wrong.  You are supposed to use a menu (laminated) instead of the plate and then slide the menu out from under the glass.


The truth is, look at how this person always whine "WAHHH WAHHHHH MEEEE!! MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"

I'll tell you: this person has caused far more pain that he lived. Think about closed families, friends, wife... He never spoke about what they endured because of HIM.


-Stand on a chair.

-You are now over a foot closer to the sun.


LmAo aT LeAsT pUt a tL;dR ... BoOoRiiiiiiiNg StOrY SoZ ;/;/;/;/


It's simple. We shave the bat-stache.


nothing makes me feel better like the "come sit on papa's face" emoticon


Battlefield. I played BF2 forever and the first Modern Warfare is the only one I liked multiplayer-wise. All the newer ones turned into camp-fests that actively discouraged movement.


Nearly all lawsuits start with filing one.

FTFY

If the DOJ has a case, fucking bring it and we'll see you in court. Otherwise, piss right the fuck off.


The best part is that we won't have to pretend like we care anymore.


They have the attitude and totally dont play for the show! Because you know, stalling a game for over 70 minutes is totally entertaining...


Nothing could melt that permafrost core.


Let's elect one to have access to thermonuclear intercontinental ballistic missiles 24/7. Even before shark weeks.


except when they constantly remind you you're on hold. "ohh damn i totally thought i called the crappy music line, thanks for reminding me"

or the brief pause before an announcement, where your heart jumps a little thinking you're about to be transferred and it tells you you're still on hold.

Edit: a word.


Although your story was interesting, and I'm happy you aren't in prison, this sub isn't really meant for junkies, it's more geared toward the drug users who use in moderation, responsibly.


If you ever visit the U.S. Southeast, you will see that the answer to that question is "yes".


You students percieve him as Alumni, us Townie's see him as one of us.
Don't be envious you may not have yet to earn this distinction.
(Can't say that for sure as I have no clue who you are.)

And perhaps if CP, UIPD, UP treated him as a current student instead of an "Alumni" or "Townie" he would have already been found?


Meh... Do you have a name? PM me if you do.


Start to finish. His reasoning for not wanting to get his gear stolen is flawed.

Carry a knife if you must. It's probably just as good a deterrent and you could use it if you had to.

If I was in such a dangerous job, I'd learn judo; not carry a fake gun.


No he hated PRIVATE paper money, aka he hated the central bank. He was also the last President to not have any public debt.


Nah... just horny.

Edit: Yes, I'm a rapist. Say your mom I'm out to get her... tonight.


So i'm guessing parts of his body disappeared into women?


How can anyone watch this shit? I guess the target audience is 12 year olds?


Hmm, you raise a valid point.  A *hologram* of JJ Binks.


Different culture I suppose, like I've said elsewhere: I read curses all the time, I ignore them because I have empathy for the person behind it and I respond to the substance of the rest of the message.


how professional of the professor to have an emotional outburst in class without allowing a rational explanation.


Apparently not dude, I guess you're just going to have to deal with it.


I made your comment into an audio story.

http://soundcloud.com/time_to_narrate/itsapirateslifeforme-is-not


Called Mahout or not, he's jabbing a spike into the animal's head. I don't care what you call him.


Its a natural law of reddit.  Gifs get more upvotes than videos.


I absolutely love how **le** crowd cheers every time CLG.Eu kills a ward.


My ex was on roaccutane, he ran out of his usual moisturiser and just used one of his mums. Later on that day he laughed and his face started bleeding, his lips cracked, under his eyes cracked, everywhere on his face that was stretched from laughing just bled. It was terrifying it was like a horror film.


I saw this post too, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Fuck, he knocked you 3 Inception levels deep.


This makes no sense.  OP needs to not eat as much, whereas penis size has nothing to do with personal responsibility. The amount of fat women giving advice on this sub about how he should accept her body is ridiculous. She looked one way, let herself go, and now he isn't as attracted to her.  It's like buying a used car, but then it's a junker a year later already.


Stop being a faggot and suck that dick!


It's literally a fact that Belichick got caught cheating

Everything else regardless, that's a fact fambruh

Edit: What the fuck am I being downvoted so hard for? Is it not a fact? Someone explain to me right now how that isn't a fact.


No, she's married now. ZING!


I'm not so familiar with New York, but I thought I read in the Post that this subway line is big with the hipsters.


My grandmother was a notorious driver, and would flip people off all the time, even when she had her grandchildren in the car. She told us she was just "waving" to them.

Cue me and my two younger brothers "waving" to people in traffic. My mom could not figure out why everyone kept honking at her, until she turned around and found all three of us flipping off every car that drove by.


Wow. That's not what he said. I hate people like you that just assume shit like that. IN THIS SPECIFIC SITUATION, he probably did. Maybe he decided not to follow his orders or something to do something for the guy he loved. Wow some people are dumb as shit. And maybe it is just because he was gay. But the first reason would make more sense. Goddamn. Think.


It's comforting to know we have still have amateurs/hobbyists watching the sky for us. Their pursuit encourages space enthusiasm and even acts as a guard dog in this instance.


If you do don't play.


Try /r/marijuanaenthusiasts! It's a subreddit for the appreciation of trees!


Tagged as 'Butthurt Faggot'


If he's got the games, I'll bring the beer.


I am, going to make a whole other post about this is hopes more people see this. I dont know if I should submit it to aww or what though.


The doctor knew you were faking and he was cool about it.


Is /r/leagueoflegends leaking?

EDIT: Lol @ the dislikes, yet no1 commenting why...


"Here's your bill, sir."

"Fuck this shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!"


Keep telling yourself that you dumb liberal.


Exactly. So why bring it up? The girl was an attention whore.


Here, i tweaked your coloured version!
[http://i.imgur.com/WoQXM.jpg](http://i.imgur.com/WoQXM.jpg)


These novelty accounts need to stop. It got stale after ShittyWatercolor.


In addition, nobody cares about how relevant/unorthodox/humorous that person's username is.


who cares it's a beach and beaches are all over the place


>  I didn't want to make her feel self conscious so I just kept chowing down.

&#3232;\_&#3232;


you know, with all due respect, THIS IS WORTH SHOUTING ABOUT.


"There *was* nothing wrong with it - until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started hitting the New York Times Bestseller list..."


Smash your car windshield.

Does it start?

Guess it wasn't a stupid thing to do.


I will absolutely support the right of assholes to burn the Quran, but will continue to call them Islamophobic morons.


If that happens to you...you're retarded.
Edit: sp.


They would remove all Sheep from campus, problem solved


WEST SIDE NIGGA, BREAK YOSELF

SUWOOP


Clever strategy, dog knows that people flail when drowning and a clean blow to the head is a good way to prevent being pulled under.

Edit: spelling


I thought the same thing.


I love My Little Pony! Do you play the Secret Life drinking game? You have to take a shot every time you hear the word "sex." Someone was telling me about it the other day.


So did many Belgians. Whats your point?


Reddit: We're redditors. You can trust us.


*seriously* though?

now that you're done with your maymay, it's serious time?

ok!

seriously, though, global warming is a growing concern.


You're a belt-and-suspenders kind of guy, I see.


lol this is internet.


My doctor wasn't just a medical practitioner, he was an artist. I wouldn't even call it a circumcision, my penis was sculpted into a thing of beauty.


Lol you're past your prime bro. Just fuck off and die.