Drunk drivers are the scum of the earth. They are just as bad as cancer, eroding the underpinnings of our society.

*spelling


"Come at me bros!"

    -Gary Johnson


It is pretty insignificant, little boys get along just fine with little girls. Most kids unless told otherwise would do the exact same thing regardless of gender when playing.


100% agreed. Clever reptilian humanoids who can use machine guns? I'd watch the shit out that and can picture a mix of horror and dark action/violence. But Jurassic Park, on the other hand, must stay about real dinosaurs.


Your might want to edit the first sentence.


8 seasons later and he's still telling them about other women he killed and not the actual mother.


So following that math, 1 cleanup was 5% of the cleanups you've done. That means you've worked a total of 20 cleanups.


No. I had no idea. We were talking about children, and we were married 5+ years. When I think back on all of it, I can see the sneakiness that happened. Him being overprotective of his PC, not letting me use his phone.. Extra gas spent.

He didn't produce the porn, just distributed it. He was also trying to work out deals to have sex with children.


The point is that while the metric system and A4 paper and calling soccer football all make way more sense we don't care.  We do things our own way and we know it's backwards but we still manage to be #1 in a shit ton of ways.  So sit there all smug in being all euro and correct, we've got things to accomplish.


Anyone else picture Ron Swanson doing that?


first one i actually lol'd at.

Edit: the fuck? this is a two day old post! are people coming here just to downvote me and trolloc1?


*Instant ramen tastes like sadness.


...yeah you're very observant, you should be a crime scene investigator or a detective.


Should I ask?

...Yeah, I'll go ahead and ask.

Why did you capitalize "queef"?


there's more to life than money dude


It's raining on my face.


If a cop can't figure out how to end an encounter with an unarmed suspect that doesn't result in his death, I don't agree he did nothing wrong.

Clearly, other better cops could have resolved that same situation without a death.


My most random hobby is I like gardening. And if I could get a PhD in anything, I would like to be a doctor of Neuroscience... I mean, this is all in a hypothetical world, but that's what I would like to do. Brain-surgery. Yeah!


karma whore. that's not even your ugly baby and you aren't the ugly negroid either. your username says it all, cravinsumluv. want some upvotes? you can have it. it's worthless. you want some respect? post a picture of yourself with real problems and dont post your common third world country tour pictures.

sam 'hadsome intelectual' thompson OUT..... NOW!


Take your logical reasoning and get the hell out!


I was afraid of that. It's truly a sad world when empathy stops making sense.


Fortunately, that's rarely a problem when you have a time machine.


Meh you are a dick.

What right do you have to tell a guy you dont know to fuck off because you are a judgmental person?


Don't you? Don't you?


So you didn't like him because he's cross-eyed? And because he loved you? What the FUCK

This is why I hate you sluts


Your mistletoe is no match for my TOW missile!


Read the sentence: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

Are you retarded?


Continuation of irrelevant chain goes here


Can't agree more. It's good that he clearly takes care of himself, very fit and what-not, but genetics was not good to him. Something about his torso and legs.. Very strange looking.


There is no point. Those guys are idiots.


Downvoted for being a fuckin retard


I'm a woman who has never been to get a mani or pedi.

Being broke feels bad man.


Scruffy's gonna die doing what he loved...http://i.imgur.com/odkRx.gif


But nobody expects it.


Oh yeah those poor soldiers having to deal with the consequences of their stupid decisions


"You could call it 'CASTING BAD'.  **GET IT?**"


SO WHY ARE YOU ALL WASTING YOUR FUCKING TIME TELLING ME?!

Just go. the. fuck. away.


"LOOK KAREN IM SPLASHING! WE'RE BOTH WET KAREN! SPLASH BITCH!"


Didn't know my b! Should've figured tho lol


Your fear is my hope.


Nah. OP needs education.


Because if there was a telepath, stealing the $16.23 out of your bank account would be the apex of wealth-gaining his powers could grant.


IT DEVIATED FROM THE HIVEMIND! SLAUGHTER IT WITH ANGRY BLUE ARROWS!


It would. A mattress is still a solid so you probably fold in half when you hit it.


Go outside and actually talk to the girls, you can make your personality more attractive than your looks, and you have more chances of charming the girl when she can't simply swipe left to make you go away.

... says the guy (me) who browses /r/seduction a lot, knows the theory, but has zero practice.


But most only only watched for Offerman


Can someone please explain to me why everything has to be about  race here? It's just that a majority of rappers happen to be black.


Hey, I like you and all...

But lets never meet.

Ever.


How is it "rage quitting" when you leave after seeing an army you can't possibly kill?

How is it "rage quitting" to leave without a gg?

You people are fucking stupid.


Holy shit. Ron didn't even register when I read it. I read "rainbow."

Taste the Ronbow. Haha. Awesome.


I would spit on and laugh at anyone wearing this shirt in public.


what a horrible riddle


wow the salt is real; elements fan?


Stop judging me asshole.


NOW WHERE MY FREQUENT FLYERS, LET ME SEE YO HANDS UP!!!


No, Green Berets are imitation versions of MARSOC


Yeah they do, My friend in college was a really shy guy. But he was standing in line for pizza and this kid bounced his ball a little too far. My friend bounced the ball back and forth for a bit. A girl in line walked up and gave him her number.

Works 100% of the time (sample size = 1 person)


I wish I could give you infinite up votes for that was friggin' hilarious, whether it was intended to be or not.


Why does that make science awesome isn't that an admirable human quality to change your views in presence of new information? I don't think that is science specific just a good quality to have as a person


ok everyon is is talkin about downvotes WHY,,, no onecares -_-


Help, I can't breathe!


What's the mental picture? I'm curious.


"Got that two-thirty 'fuck it I'm done' feeling?"


Driving is privileged, not a guaranteed right. Don't get pulled over for a DUI and you won't need a Breathalyzer to confirm if you're under the influence. Problem solved.


Why not just buy a real 8ball and fuck 2 strippers at once?


Level 5 golem vs multi target inferno ?

Edit BRING IT ON. YOUR DOWNVOTES FUEL ME.


He killed 11 million people in the concentration camps alone. 5 million *"other" innocent victims are ignored because it's too much trouble to remember the jews weren't the only victims. This makes me sad every time I see it.
* Edit for the ridiculous notion that I didn't consider other death camp victims to be innocent.


No. People self diagnose. And yes I get to be an ass about it. It is not my responsibility to play nutritionist to these people. I have a very difficult job. I don't have time to educate people about their ailments. Diabetic people know the drill. Celiac people should too.


Well that's depressing.


^ this guy here is getting downvoted for what the OP said didnt matter...


> to the Wigan ultras.

What, both of them?


I'm not sure.. And I know it was about ringling.. I dunno.. I'm hungover and still half asleep.. Not sure where I'm going with this..lol


US elections, actually, but AvP ripped it off


polite society makes my herpes flaer up :)


Seconded. Then every April we celebrate the great Tater Dragon in a huge festival with all sorts of dragon things, and all the food is potatoes served every possible way (maybe even whole, raw)!

EDIT: I'm beginning to think that I really should make this a holiday. Maybe even a Reddit holiday? Do those exist?

EDIT2: Go to /r/taterdragon now! This will be the home for His disciples!


did i hurt your feelings?


Just once, I'd like for someone to call me "sir" without adding "you're making a scene".


Should we ask her why women wear makeup, too?


I wouldn't exactly call that a fun fact...


downvote for downvote thread.

EDIT: THIS.


I think you're missing the point.

Whenever this guy has sex, it will be the most mind blowing thing ever.  It will be 100x better than when we had sex since we were too stupid and rubbed our bits numb out of want for sex.


Tell me you don't actually believe that fortune cookie numbers give you a better chance of winning than numbers that you've generated yourself.


If someone accuses you of being a paedophile, just tear up and tell them you lost your daughter a few days ago.


No one is playing the "oppression olympics," or making categorical statements about privilege. Olpainless is speaking about an isolated, observable incidence of power disparity and is getting downvoted for it. There *is* a difference.

This is the kind of shit that makes me such a strong advocate for safe spaces. So many claim allyship without putting real work in it becomes toxic.


Obama killed /r/thanksObama? God. Thanks, Obama.


I'm amazed at the daftness of that reply.


Would you say it was.... moist?


DOWNVOTE HIM TO HELL!!! PITCHFORK!!!!!


Not a rumor, *prophecy*


yes throwing your arms up then yelling fuck you and punching a guy who thinks the fight is over and doing the suck it shit is awesome. dude is a prick. hope he gets another dui


It's that GREAT out there!


India is truly the armpit of the universe.  Brown people piss me off.


Yeah dude, standard diversity protocol.


Then you're a part of the problem, every injustice and problem haven't solved itself you know. Every civil rights movement, every peace movement and some of the hugest unions have started with blood shed for standing up for others and themselves.

Edit: Woah, did Brazil wake up or something?


pair o' docs.

...

...

holy shit.


Don't like the term chav - it's classist - but on the individual concerned (assuming this story is true), what we always did to teach animals which wouldn't toilet train to was rub their noses in it.  It's now considered animal cruelty, but I'm sure some similar more modern aversion therapy could be devised...


Now that you've softened him up, you can tell him you're a furry as well.


> an Iranian variant of the Northrop F-5 "Tiger II" fighter

Actually the american version is the copy and the Iranian one is the original. Just like how American Idol is a later version of the British show Pop Idol.


Is it an innie or an outie?


I hate it when people upvote me.


As someone who can read English when translated from Chinese, I can verify this.


But I'm right.

People who buy this game are playing it right now.

Only you reddit fags are the ones who buy it so you can complain about it on some circlejerk nerd site.

You guys are fucking pathetic.


Nein Patrick, Mayonnaise ist kein Instrument.


No he is not. There is already a [fastpoke meme](http://knowyourmeme.com/search?context=images&q=fastpoke) with the same premise. Not too well known, but it's been around for quite some time.

Edit: It's amazing how ignorant people on this subreddit are. I'm downvoted for being correct. Seems to happen far too often.


He probably hears even less now that he's shoved all the excessive dirt and wax further up his ear.


Well I'm not OP, but I'm from the "Third World".

* Sup?
* WTF people?
* amirite?


Because, in reality, you only need one kidney


thumbs up if you have no idea what happened here xD


At first I thought it was a penguin flying! I was in disbelief


At least I'm not alone in this opinion.


"EXCUSE ME, I WOULD LIKE TO ASS YOU A QUESTION."


Yeah, just downvote and don't tell me why I'm wrong.


that's a good lesson from Standford and he didn't even have to pay for it


I used to love tyre, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


"Please, stop I don't want to be diapered!!"  "Sorry sir, but you checked the box.  Them's the rules."

Edit - My first gilding! Obligatory (but heartfelt) thank you kind stranger!


I could care less about karma. My bro is 25 and can't even read or write above a 3 year old level.  He deserves to have his story shared. He finished his 14th marathon (26.2 miles) this Nov in NYC.


Go on www.bunnyranch.com and pick the one you like on the front page, and email her! Or come to Carson City, to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch and pick one from line up, or call 1-888-Bunnyranch and tell them what you are looking for.


In all technicality, it is a theory which means it is still yet to be fully proven. This would make it fall under a "belief"


Me and my wife went out on a date the other day. I don't think I'm gonna call her again.


You can't lose over 80% of your blood. That is impossible.


That's planned obsolescence for you.


You spelled “jealous Catholiban dronetard” wrong.


Probably the best thing I've seen for an FPS in a long time.  Good humor right there!


What does that have to do with this conversation? I was sharing a personal story in a safe space with someone going through a similar experience and intentionally left most of the details out so people like you wouldn't use them to torment me.

I stand by my statement that the medical community is controlled by the patriarchy. It's very easy to see how male dominated the community is.


That may or may have not been me......


not funny not original not contributing stop it


WUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUB


whats not funny about it?


Wolves lick the insides of mouths to show submission so she lets them do it because she is considered part of the pack.


You could start with google, instead of asking rhetorical questions here. Or are you just that lazy that you can't google it yourself?


That poor girl... Think of all the not-sex she is getting due to her lack of communication skills.

...I am legitimately sad for her.


At the same time there is some expectation of independence from the coach. If my coach told me to do X and it made no sense I wouldn't listen to him. I really don't blame Lin for listening to the coach but I think it would show some balls if Lin would override the coaches decision because fouling right away was clearly the right choice.


Urgot has dark, secret past.


Oh look! Someone learned how to Google things. Congrats, although the entrance fee for the sci-fi reddit is a little higher than that.


It's just 12 people. In a room. Talking. No fancy set pieces, no flashy shots, no romantic subplot. It's a simple movie, but it changed my way of appreciating and analyzing dialogue across all media.


Wow douche you got any more tips?


Thus ended the video rental buisness.

Not with a bang, but with a box of dog poop.


One of the representatives of fake boob industry.


I have no honor

UPDATE: Sorry everyone, Been in the hospital all night, the nearest burn center was over 100 miles away. Thanks /u/deadking256. Doctors said they've never seen burns this bad... 😥.


pranks for the most part are meant to make someone furious while another person laughs at their fury.


I like to imagine the C&H characters are teeny-tiny, it helps me sleep at night


FUCK YOU I WAS GOING TO SAY THIS


Excellent! I'll use that for the repost next week.


Poor babby Terrans

It's so terrible to be doing bad in a matchup for a change. ;_;


In his 40+ years I can't believe he never thought of that.


personal checking account, not business. i like to go clubbing and buy toys and shit but haven't been approved for a black card yet so i have to have a lot of cash on hand


I'm having her shipped to my house.  This is how they package them.


what he says: Little bit of gym...

what she hears: You're a fucking terrible person, you dumpster with legs. Go load up your face while hooked up to a feed trough. Moo-moo-moo-moo. I speekee your language? moo-moo-moomoo-moo.


I love obtaining new clothes, but not searching for them. Shopping itself makes me want to die. If I got filthy rich I'd just order expensive clothing online and have it tailored. Life goals...


This needs more upvotes


Holy shit, the last time I felt that stupid for not noticing something like that was when I realized breakfast breaks the fast.


Stop being a pussy and eat an animal.


You are correct and hopefully your post will be upvoted more for visibility. Here is a source that claims humans, including children, dogs and monkeys have a left gaze bias: http://www.springerlink.com/content/b188227326337268/


Who freakin' cares who they donate to? Its their money.

Go ahead, downvote me.


Then you are also a God. Damn. Liar.


The secret passage in my house leads to a room full of pumpkin pies


...running out of room to write this on arm...


What's wrong with them being owned by a rich white man?

Pretty much all successful black men are owned by a rich white man.


i like how it even starts rocking the crib


Damn you got to it first


Thank you, you do the things no one else could do. My father and brother had a closed casket, I can't even imagine what you see.


Just think of my downvote as an upvote :)


that's how i got out of a parking ticket.


You don't have to be rich to have a backyard like that (minus the observatory) you just need to get off your ass and start digging and planting.

Edit: I guess people don't realize that they can get a house and lots of land for a fraction of the cost of a single lot and small house in or around a city.


I tell my wife that all the time.


One time I BGH'd a control warriors Ragnaros and he still won. It's almost like he has a whole deck full of cards to replace the ones I kill. :(

Blizzard needs to fix the game so that if I counter one play, they aren't allowed to make new plays for a few turns because it is unfair to lose a game if I make a single powerful play.


they're the real victims here


lol. Nice. Upvote. Good. That is all.


TIL what the emoticon for "Happy As An Irishman"


Well, I'm sure happy the doctors and nurses at the local hospital didn't seem to agree with you when I at one time took my daughter to ER at 3 in the morning.

Because often forcing hours is more important than good morale.


Oh god. I miss runescape, but I'm glad to be done with it. Like heroin, but not at all


would you prefer i type oh my god? Or perhaps i should not type any exclamation in the future? Or maybe just maybe you can shove your head out of your own ass for just a minute, and realize you're no better than anyone else.


*You bought this and then wrote the letter to yourself


Good logic, I'll tell all my fellow vets to just desensitize themselves to PTSD.


Improved: http://i.imgur.com/6WH8Oc4.gif


It's funny how there are so many downvotes in a 4-day old topic that has suddenly sprung into activity since in got linked by /r/mensrights:

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/yqfmo/mention_rmensrights_on_reddit_get_flagged_for/

It's almost like you guys are a downvote brigade or invasion subreddit or something.


Soon to be $80 for broaderband(tm).


-1 for you, watt's up with using two puns in one comment?


Don't take any shit from nurses.  I've heard nursing is what you do when you're not smart enough to be a doctor.


Wow, you're soooo original.


No, Starships built this city on rock and roll.


Our fight was really with Japan, not Germany.  The war in Europe was almost over by the time we joined.

EDIT: yep you're right I can't read.  1 != 2


My guess is the 2016 election is what he's looking at saying 'I can't do another one of these'.


So it's really just a bunch of quests whose content you skip through to keep up with your team, then going out and spamming M1 and M2 endlessly to pick up stacks of same-looking loot?


Yeah I'd say it's closer to a victory over spherical objects.


Up vote for reference :)


first thought: I, robot


I'm not here to serve as another account's mouthpiece.  And I'm not your friend, karmawhore.


I think what some people (the clingers) fail to realize is no person can make you happy or complete. You have to be those things on your own before you can be with anyone. Otherwise you just smother them because it is WAY too much pressure to be what makes someone else happy.


Really?  That's fascinating.  Guess how much I give a shit.  My uncle Mo disagrees with your assessment so I guess we're equal.


Whats that?  You want me to drink you?!?!  But I'm in the middle of a trial!

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyhd51Hosk1qztjn5o1_500.png


No you don't.

Edit: Ok, I get the downvotes, but the PMs are too much. Besides he really doesn't *need* it, it looks awful as a ring. It just has geek factor.


There's plenty of contest. Trust me.


Implying they are even playing 1/4th of the game, lol.


>a new PC, a bed, fridge

In order of priority, of course


>*there was a clause in the contract with the school that stated they didn't need to cover costs associated with a teacher's actions if negligent* //

So if they paid then it was found that the teacher wasn't negligent. Either that or you made a false claim above.


Haha, i was about to type "that shit's so cray XD" but you beat me to it good sir tip of the hat to you XP


Haha, yeah I was freaking out just a little... I have to have blood tests also to make sure she hasn't given me any nasty diseases. Looking forward to that fo sho!


Yeah, probably because McGees was a fucking thousand times better, you stupid fucking soulless LA denizen.


Why arent assassins every where or terrorist cells using this?!

PS if you're a terrorist, dont read this.


Only as big as he can photoshop it.


When someone does not capitalize "I".


I prefer BAMF (Bad Ass Motherfucker)


this is the one thing I've seen on this thread so far that's actually legit scary


Man, she is ugly as sin too. Wow.


> The splash radius is like an electron probability cloud.

Genius.


honestly i find it apalling Americans think pearl harbor was bad when 2 cities got nuked.


No, they don't make your ass look fat.  You are fat and they do nothing to minimize that fact.


do you two secretly fuck? or at least, want to? DON'T LIE TO US


Red Rover Red Rover send /u/ssbmtwin1 right over.

Got it, coach! :P


It's so surprising seeing so many neo-Nazis on another anti-Israel reddit post.

*So surprising...*


After watching it I'm very surprised the title wasn't "I'm black..." or "Came out as a black man to my mom, nailed it?"


I won't, thanks for the advice? Didn't need someone to tell me that. I asked a question, you didn't answer.


Well I certainly don't want to let her down.


Truer words have absolutely been spoken, we can have discussions without pointless hyperbole. I have an X-Box and an X-Box 360 and I think Halo is one of the worst franchises in gaming history. My X-Box 360 now is used to stream video, play game discs or XBLA games, or to play downloaded/shared movies and shows.


As another former cashier, I can say that we actually relish the inconvenience.


Yes, teach your child that sitting in front of a monitor for hours is better than going outside or being active.


I know this: bad guys don't think they're bad guys. They think what they are doing is right, it's the righteousness that makes them dangerous. I learned that from Joss.


Your weird, I'm looking at your history now. Weirdo


So it doesn't work, *and* it includes cadmium poisoning.

(I kid, I kid.)


Are you saying Obama never in his entire political career in this universe has ever told a lie and that he was honest throughout the entire debate?


DAMN WHAT U GONNA DO WITH ALL THE DOUGH THIS IS EPIC


ah yes, the "neil degrasse tyson" of this subreddit. bet you've been waiting to use that "FIRST!" for awhile.


Then, when he's not looking, rape him in the ass.


75%? what an amazingly accurate figure for something without a citation. while i might agree with your assertion, pulling figures out of your ass makes the rest of us look bad, so don't do it.


How to get upvotes on reddit:

Step 1: Say something negative about apple

Step 2: That's it


Unown is incorrect..
EDIT: Apparently the fact that I didn't  get a Pokémon  reference is grounds for being personally attacked in my messages. Lol. I get the downvotes but still, that's  just sad.


I hacked my girlfriend into a duffle bag.


GIVE ALL THE UP VOTES


From what I've heard (sourceless) it's follow these restrictions and you're pg13.  Go a little over and we'll take a ~~bribe~~ look.


Where exactly did you get that information? Because "plenty" in most cultures is too much. "Average" in America is way too much.

Let's not start a debate, but let's also not have opinions as facts with no facts involved.


This is far too nice to be a prank.


I am not. Why would you?


It's called marriage.


I made a shit. you want me to post a how to of that? fag


I don't at all like his policies, and I think as a president he led this country down a very dark and stupid path, by I find I can't fault the guy for this... something about hearing that the country you lead has just been the target of a major attack, and then nodding and finishing the story you were reading to some kids is my kind of badass.


WTF? America is so f*cked up.


Seems like everyone in Central/South America is capable of being bribed or otherwise seduced (sexually and non-sexually) extremely easily.


Ha, she looks hideous. Look at those teeth! EUGH.


They are lucky. I'd kill for a full time, stable position. So would a lot of people.


This is 100% kitschy bullshit photography, I hate it so much.


And to early to explore the universe..


MW esports is also on there


What OP didn't tell you is that she shot the man's dog and wife in the face.


He lost all ability to dribble tho.


You magnificent bastard... I doubt anyone even noticed what you did:

First comment in this line of comments:

>front page ended up deleting his account due to s**tall**kers.

>hopefully in the **height** of all this excitement

*When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.*


a good one. Also this is hilarious. I would find it hilarious if it was man on man, woman on man, woman on woman, man on woman. its just fucking hilarious.

But of course it is wrong.


The original midlife Chrysler.....


Liberals take polls.  Conservatives vote.  There is nothing to see here.


Chicken Chiellini, Chicken Barzagli, Chicken Marchisio, and Chicken Vucinic are some of my favorite Italian dishes.


wait.... isn't it? Clearly I've been going to the wrong meetings :/


this **needs** more upvotes.


Fuck yeah, good on your dad.


So they could probably do it, but it's not worth the cost to them? Oh well, you deserve what you get for playing a TES game on consoles.

EDIT: I'm having a hard time understanding what made this comment a karmic black hole...


roughly 1 minute longer to accommodate trying.


Dont pretend it wasnt you man....why is everyone believing this bullshit right here?


The race card for a coupon? Wow.


That's what I said to ya mutha


This would have been pretty fucked up if he died in Afghanistan.


Yeah, when he's doing her in the foam pit.


I've heard that fact, but with a penny, not spit. The spit just sounds way dumber.

edit: So apparently I'm the only one here who hasn't seen that myth busters  episode.


`You're right, but knowing as much as I do about reddit, I doubt that's enough to stop certain assholes from sending her death threats. Reddit is full of assholes who take insignificant things far more seriously than they should. That said, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be half as insane in real life, when they aren't anonymous.`


I'm miserable seeing your day validated without me.


woah. Yes im not best at finances, but no need to belittle me. Make your point without the extra malice. Thanks for your response.


Millions, bro.  Millions.


Who's hilarious and why are they being fucked?


I work with kids. Damn Jayden, Hayden, Brayden. Stop that shit, 20 somethings!


He's caught in a land slide. No escape from reality


"Kill a man, one is a murderer; Kill a million, a conqueror; Kill them all, a God." - Jean Rostand


Cheeses continue to exist, it's perfectly possible to deal with it. If you don't want cheeses, go play a game with NR15 hardcoded into it because they give your starting buildings cannons or something.


why are you tagged as cat-raper?

You are going straight to hell...


I've ranked up twice in the past week. Do people ever get smart?


...poke'd-their-moms!


Considering Browner was a former Seahawk, original member of the LOB and someone we gave a Super Bowl ring to even when he let the team down by getting suspended for weed; his comments about attacking injured players and now this is way more of a dick move than anything Sherman's done.


Am I the only person who realises that everyone who agrees with my opinions is smart and everyone else is stupid?


I can't remember the last time I joked about homosexual marriage.


Ahh… the old mandarin in the middle attack.


download video's from youtube in any format

http://youtubeddl.com


This is the first thing that came to mind when I tried to think of what I could buy. Dildos and dinosaurs.

Edit: And that kids is how my top rated comment is about dildos and dinosaurs.


TIL "Native hawaiians" are racist, but it's ok because that's part of being Hawaiian.

***Edit: Guys dont downvote me if you disagree. I wont learn nothing from it and you wont change my mind. upvote if you disagree and join th convo! :-)***

*Edit2: I was gonna edit dis again and help u understand but then I took an arrow in the knee!*

**3edit: Comeon guys stop downvotin me serious.**


"We stacked fucks like you five feet high in Korea" that guy is definately watching my kids when I have some


Never seen it in an army commissary.  Or an Air Force one,  actually.


I think you hit at the core values of every Redditor here.


lol this casual misogyny


Pants down, best suggestion.


From the nerd that knows the console but not whats playing it LOL.


Sounds a lot like Stingray which we already know exists.

[Stingray](https://www.aclu.org/maps/stingray-tracking-devices-whos-got-them)


Jews aren't a race. [Judaism is an ideology,](http://www.judeofascism.com/2012/03/judaism-is-ideology-not-race-hence-its.html) and an increasingly Zionist-co opted, racist one at that.


My dad said they were squashed snakes.

He also said the yellow lines were to keep away lions. His proof of this was a lack of lions.


And as parents, we expect open communication....did you talk to them about the guy you were seeing BEFORE he became your boyfriend?

Yeah, didn't think so.


My friend asked how big his dick was in game so I took the picture to show him


One need only look at the video from an objective viewpoint to see self defense was needed.  I know, I know, Reddit retards want to attack Israel at any point, we get it.

**Sorry at this point I can no longer be bothered to reply to you as I have now hit the threshold of downvotes in this subreddit which limits me to one post every 10 minutes.  Have fun jacking eachother off for upvotes.**


someone = not my wife


> :O

stop that shit, kiddie.


Sigh. The shit I put up with...

&#3232;_&#3232;


You're late, what kept you?


I read over 20 books and got to hang out with the study staff a bunch.  i also learned a little bit of piano and they do let you watch pre-approved movies.


Well, you know what I meant, I'm more of a lurker if anything for reasons like this... making me feel ignorant for something I didn't know, sorry...


I almost missed it. Dear god I hope that's Courtney Love's reddit account.


Sorry, it just slipped out of my mouth.


Hi my name is Mesothelioma, and I have Doug.


That's exactly what I was gonna say


I just love that it looks like money... I mean, if they had just stiffed me and left a little card with the religious stuff on it, I would still be pissed, but whatever.

But the fact that they made it look like money, so I would get my hopes up before realizing they stiffed me? That's just shitty.


I know right? I mean who woudln't want their identity and bank information stolen just so you didn't have to miss YOUR FAV BAND OMFG!!!!


Aladeen feedback loop


LOL ARE YOU UPSET FAG!?


Its going to be ok lil nigga you can do it.


By I_RAPE_WITH_SPOONS.


I heard it was 6 gears. 5 gears in reverse and one forwards, in case the enemy came from behind.


You had to wait until now to get a reply.


> His replies started out short, but after two years, they became essay length.

Looks like college was working for him.


I love Falkland threads. So much juicy, unfiltered, and very stupid nationalism.


I make on average roughly $1500 per scene appearing in 20/25 per month...

Favorite scenes are the Office 4 play scenes for [brazzers](
http://enter.brazzersnetwork.com/track/NDY3MDQwOjc6NDE/?tour=tour3)
...me and 4 chicks to myself everytime


I hate when people use this argument. the world isn't fair and fair isn't equal. oh no! the system is biased toward me! I should totally level the playing field so that I can't get a job or my children can no longer go to college. why on earth would you give up your privilege?


I wake up and do the house chores all day and help my mom. Sometimes I go to school.


...because we could never read each other's posts, right?  LOL!


damn that dude is tiny


How can I get through to her and get her to accept help (via a therapist, of course)? She just keeps shaking her head no and it drives me crazy.


This brought a tear to my eye. I dream of finding someone who only eats the pretzels.


Also, throwing flour on someone is illegal (it's assault).

Killing someone who attacks you isn't illegal - even if they just so happen to be black like Will Smith, who could have cared less about the 42 white people killed the same day Trayvon Martin attacked George Zimmerman.


The need for a disclaimer on a joke thread is definitely fishy.


Disgustingly obese, brutally ugly, wig-wearing black women simply don't have that kind of life, nor confidence, nor power.  The fact that "Donna" does, is part of the joke.  It's a very clever racist message by the show's writers.  I'm surprised that more people don't see it....or perhaps you do...which is why I'm getting all the guilt-driven downvotes.


Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.


You have NO right to judge me. Calling me names? Really? You have no idea who I am or what I do. Name calling. It's funny to me that people like you sit at your computer & just spew vile at people, all high & mighty but would you say it to their face? I would, but then again I'm not so quick to judge people.


There's something interestingly poetic about a deaf person  gaining the gift of hearing, listening to the music of a man losing his sense of hearing as he was composing it.


She looks like one of those Chinese cartoons.


Bigger than your dick, that's for sure.


Who says Americans can't do this? I'm sick of the anti-American comments in every thread.


Mom had a caesarean section, Problem?


If you think its a sad day then you need to get out your fucking house fella


Finally, why isn't this the top comment.  As an American i wasn't 100% sure i was right. I do however disagree that he doesn't know what it means. I think he only held back and said his Mother rather than your Mother because he was on TV.


Literally every season since 07/08 it's been February-March, so....


I like that you clearly know what you're talking about. I work in the tool trade. Watching people destroy things with an impact wrench is entertaining.


I'm not a bot. They're just suggestions, no one is **forced** to vote how I say.

Thanks for the feedback though.


I hate Tim Tams because it's like "Awesome, I'm just gonna have a Tim Tam!".. "Wow that was good I should have another one!" and then the package is empty and I sob quietly in the dark due to my fatness.


If this thread explodes, which I imagine it will, this drawing may result in being my most ever up-voted comment on Reddit.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Mostly great, I guess.

Edit: Yup - top comment for me. Thanks, Reddit.


*opposing army shouts back as they charge at you* "THANKS YOU TOO!"


Thiz dezerves upz. Not downz.


No. AC. Air Con sounds like some kind of scam run by airlines.


Pointing out the obvious........it makes YOU look totally gay, too.

Gayer than the sleeping guy, in fact.


I don't give a shit if people say this is set up. That guy is the chillest dude I've ever seen in my life. I just really wanna be friends with this guy cause if he frees ~~people~~ strangers from cop cars, then what'll he do for his friends?


> No I'm just saying... I read it and he was the first thing that came to mind.

then you are one of the following:

* young

* ignorant

* both


No one believed us or the Barca fans earlier in the season. He is wonderfully gifted but has the mental strength of a wet paper bag.


It's a fucking gif that's clearly not something that actually happened. Chill the fuck out.


a good tip to help stop spiders getting into your helmet is to destroy the entire world.


How could someone not get the joke? It's the most played out shit on /r/nfl besides buttfumble and Manningface.

EDIT: whoa. You guys are a bunch of mad vaginas.


It's legal because there's no laws on the books because it's assumed that no reputable company would do something like this without their customers being outraged and walking. Unfortunately every tech giant is either doing this or putting their toe in the water of including spyware in mainstream services. shits gonna get a lot worse before people get mad enough to force change and make it better.


I hope star wars jokes die one day, wow they get old after a while. I accept being voted down, they would have voted martin luther king down.


That's not your problem.


Ok college boy, we can't all go to Harvard. ;)


More like Homo *fabulous*


Do you seriously think that number doesn't belong to someone? Even without the area code included, it's still a valid number. There's a reason movies use 555.


My thoughts are with you and your family. He was lucky to have a nephew like you.


Yeah those selfish people driving larger cars!  I mean, newer cars rather.

We should all be equally likely to die in an old tin can, and the government needs to enforce that.  People should be banned from using their prosperity to decrease risks/damage to their health.


Or is using the ruler backwards.


I bet he also sucks at Wii Fit.

And by sucks, I mean he broke the balance board.


What drug dealer takes paypal?


No. I can refer a statement by Obama while replying to another comment. There is a significant difference.


Dead people, but also liberty.


Funny. Clueless, but funny.


Sounds like you saw enough of her in the video.


Solution:  Get a real job.


The "shit" that has to stop is yellow journalism.  That's what OP meant, right?


Considering how low his conversion rate is, Olivier's the last person to give finishing advice

edit: LOL ok my apologies, perhaps I'm too critical of Olivier. Note taken; he **can** score!


My first criterion: people who don't know criteria is plural.

My second criterion: douchebags who incessantly correct grammar.
Shit.


Yeah, you're pathetic.


He has a point. Buttfucking in another man's jacuzzi is completely offside. How would you like it if your grandfather came to your house and started buttfucking people in your bed?


Stop.......this shit

Please........thank you!


I used to bullseye spiders with my rubber bands back home. They're not much bigger than 2 centimeters.


start a new thread...


No, no, no. She is sitting outside of his house now.


Came here to say this


..... he strikes.... about two people.... per day.

*How the hell does he have a license*


And the ones I see in /new get removed.


Here you go: https://dl.dropbox.com/u/686095/P1000249.JPG


Why are people even attacking London and Madrid? I suppose one could rationalize London due to colonialism, but Madrid? What, are they getting revenge for the Reconquista?


If the airhorn is facing up, and the cone is by the edge of the drawer, so it comes out first, then I have one more recommendation:

**load the air-horn cone with glitter.**


You act like it would be a bad thing


From a moral standpoint I do think it is unfair and I wish it wasn't legal in the first place. I do wish these silly social habits die off in the near future.

 But it works out very well in our case especially when a wife has her own home and open-mindedness towards the other wives.


seriously, U2 fucking sucks.


The interpersonal engineers responsibilities involve:

* Supporting interpersonal communications
* Adding value to the company, and the interpersonal communications within the company.
* Ensure the company's high standards are conformed to within the interpersonal communications.

And so on...


well he definitely got a "discharge"


Wait, what?! Investing in education leads to big payoffs? Holy shit.


Someone who tricks people (his own friends to boot) over petty bullshit would make a great leader in your eyes? I would tell you never to vote again for the sake of all humanity, but its not like voting really matters anyway, so meh.


My problem isn't with the point he is trying to convey (which is valid), but the way that he conveyed it with an embarrassing lack of social skills. These people are your fans, there's no reason to talk to them like a complete asshole.

EDIT: on the topic of social retardation, a perfect example would be my [creepy reddit stalker](http://www.reddit.com/user/Aribona)


You guys suck so hard.

EDIT: it took me less than two minutes to post this. Just sayin...


Modern Germany is 180 degress from the third reich too, doesn't stop the Nazi shit we have to put up with either. These people don't care about the present.


> fix that up buddy

Might wanna fix that, buddy


Oh please, the internet is just a fad.


I came her to say that.  Im^always^late


Pretty odd indeed. If anything it proves the opposite, that the only way to get people to help the helpless is to scam them into doing it.


lol who gives a fuck get over it dude.

How does anyone take either sides of this argument seriously.

Gamer gate, you're weirdos.

Anti-gamer gate, you're weirdos.

On behalf on normal well adjusted humans everywhere, stop shoving your bizzaro-world conflict down our throats.  Just go away.


BAHALA NA BAHALA NANA -- BATMAN!!!


I just notice that. For once Reddit's neutral!


Refill blades are expensive as fuck.


like i said, i'm not playing your little game for the jillionth time.  nobody cares, go away.


Dude, if you keep ASKING questions you'll never get the fuck out of here.


Oh God his character is horrible in that show... however Kroll's is pretty great.


that's implied with the leopard print.


Agreed, that was a little over the top... OP claims he had to undergo "surgery" because suffocating and pulling it would take weeks, but it's more like a few minutes.


His favorite pastime was banging hooers.


There is no difference. If you weren't aroused then you wouldn't be wet or hard.


stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job.


They are disgusting lazy gluttonous slobs.


Easy. Track down the guy and provide a timestamped photo of receipt while posing with a shoe on your head.


Agreed, but it doesn't make it right.

Those that don't work for Murdoch should be involved.  I expected to see the NY Times or SF Chronicle or some sort of intelligent, well-known paper... and didn't.


>I ignored the call cause tf2 b4 bitches

Good man.


I wish I could upvote that comment more than once. I can't, though, so please accept the downvotes this comment will most likely get instead.


It would be half empty then.


Not sure why I'm being downvoted.


Alternatively: Your grandmother asking you to hold her breasts while she puts on a pretty tight dress.


Two minutes ago, I applied for, was accepted, then graduated that exact law school you speak of.  Couldn't have done it without ya!  *throws hat in air*

Oh and I just passed all bars in all states.  Fuck it, perfect SAT while I'm at it.


it's good to see they've brought the design and functionality down to the level of the content tho.


I just arrived in your trash from subreddit from SRD but WarPhalange is right. The only people who like pokemon are forever alone man children who spend their entire lives on the internet jerking it to hentai porn while crying.


It's like a really shitty kindle. It only holds one ebook, weighs far too much, and takes up way too much space. And the user interface is archaic.


You are the faggot which needs to get off reddit.


He probably liked the animal and wanted to make sure it went to a good home.  And he knew Will would be off filming movies, and the dog would be left in the house with Jaden.


you remind me of the butthurt dweller :P


"I have AIDS, Theo should get tested"


1. Prove it.

2. A priest can be a doctor, but it doesn't take an education to be a priest if you know what I mean.

3. It's actually paid DLC to modify the joke I offer, but this one was free this time.


I met Vanilla Ice about 5 years ago at an airport. I used my blackberry to google search his tattoos, made a positive ID then waited for him to finish eating his wings so I could ask to get a pic. I addressed him as Mr. Ice. The nice thing was he asked my wife if the pic came out ok and if we'd need another. Nice guy


What the fuck? Even more glad I shitcanned this game after a few days.


I think a lot of people got it


go back to cumming in turtles retard


Dude, just ask her out already. She's totally into you.


Vaccine = **Will** Work Against a Disease

Flu Shot = **May** work against a mutating virus


The end-game is having food production in residential buildings, or at least in the city. A big part of food cost/environmental impact is from transportation.


> I think men are better at being fathers

well sure, also notable men are historically better combat soldiers, not that his part of the world currently has a death culture that thrives on fear of death and glorifying dead graves.


I wouldnt mind giving him a grandkid


YOU! You deserve [this](http://img.pandawhale.com/93002-reddit-silver-medal-meme-funny-B9d2.jpeg).


I see, but historical context should only matter so little in a **modern** case, in my opinion that is.


That would be the ultimate get for this. I just imagine him checking reddit, seeing this post, looking down......, "OH GOD DAMNIT!"


Jesus Christ man calm down. If she was drugged and became coherent for a second it's not that wild to tell a friend you think that some dude you've never seen before that is trying to take you home might have drugged you. Punches heal, suing her could ruin her life.


So a mod from /r/creepshots didn't want something relating to him posted on the internet without his permission?

Well, ain't that some shit.


Please educate yourself on the people calling themselves libertarians today.


Given her past, it's no surprise she only does non-cannon episodes now. :-)

Edit: Thanks for the gold!


If TSM had met Yoe in the group stage, they'd of went out too, was simply luck of the draw (once again for TSM) that actually helped them.


Don't forget to include all the modern technology into it. Like chunks of plastic and empty soda cans embedded into the ice.


Not sure why the downvotes, he is commander in chief of the US armed forces, who perpetrate acts of global terrorism.


what's happening here


I wonder if I said "Downvotes for Hedberg" I'd get upvotes instead. The Redditor Psyche is an entertaining place. I suppose I can test it.

Downvotes for Hedberg.


and "hitting stuff" for drums (schlagzeug).  and "playing stuff" for toys (spielzeug).


Well then, lets hope you're not editing wikipedia.


It's too late. He already dead.


Hahaha it's ok she's not dead. I was just in a weird mood. More down votes pls.


Upvote for relevant and useful name


Sure. But don't come crying when one of ur male friend has to pay the child support fir his female rapist. Or when he isn't taken seriously when he reports that his female partner abuses him. Or when he can't find a male shelter. ):


As a prank they should replace the sound with somebody yelling "HEY I'M TAKING A SHIT IN HERE"

edit - or louder poop sounds


It's been so cute watching redditors think they can try to take Rush down.

I got to give you some credit, you temporarily distracted from the fact that Obama has taken a shit on the constitution and set it on fire.


If they were Canadian they'd spend 5 minutes apologizing for all the inconvenience they caused one another.


Just link it your fucking self?


quick, somebody make up some awards.


Patient confidentiality? Is it really okay to make information like this public, when you are a health professional? What are your qualifications?


> the police came, sprayed the hermit crab with pepper spray

...what?


This YouTuber has been known to fake his videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=235Tv1j4N0s

Here's a mirror of the [video](http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x23oye2_things-go-bad-very-quickly-when-prankster-picks-on-the-wrong-cops_fun) he then deleted when exposed.


There's two types of people in this world: people who like being the little spoon, and LIARS


The fact that you assume the server has 'sv_alltalk 1' set means we can disregard all future posts from your username regarding "non-retard" TF2 tactics. thanks!

Also this heavily depends on which watch the spy is wearing. If you have the Dead Ringer equipped the escape plan is obvious.


I enjoy this news every month.


give me a break. you are so f'ing ignorant to think that unions are the only thing stopping child labor laws? what a joke. it's the 21st century, and that wouldn't fly anymore(in america), jackass! fuck the unions. go out and get a public sector job, and then you'll know what working for a living is all about. I welcome all you liberal downvoters. it makes me a man!


Thank god, finally, the American unit of measure.


you know how you fix turned off tvs, right?

well, you press the power button


Being wasted is a property of awesome!

*WAAAH WEEDLE-EEDLE WAAAH WEEEDLE-EEDLE WAAAAAH*

those were guitar noises.


Whatever you say mr bandwagon.


I uh, think your girlfriend might just be a tad bit off her rocker.


Please do another edit and remove that extra 's'. I have no problem with Americans enjoying football, but at least make an effort with the most basic terms.

edit: I may have upset 10 or so people.

edit 2: Aha! He edited it! My work here is done. -29 but definitely worth it.


Found the chronic masturbater.


They really do all look the same though.


This Tapout shirt I'm wearing would disagree with you.


Need to shut the fuck up 5/5


How *AM* is constantly rated as the Monkeys best album is beyond me - *"Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not"* - now that's an album I still listen to over and over and there isn't a bad song on it.

Also, from a similar era, Bloc party - *Silent Alarm*. What a belter!


Ya know, every time you say that I see you as the first guy in the beginning of a superman spotting.

"It's a bird!"

No, it's another joke...And why are you so excited about spotting a bird?


This. Definitely. That kid has got to feel terrible and probably won't ever forget this for the rest of his life.


No really means no when you reach down their panties and it's completely dry. I consider that the only valid litmus test. Fortunately the only result I've gotten with many tries is a sensation like a horse eating oats.


Yeah, but I can still fantasize about it.


I really fucking doubt you're hated on that level every second you go to reddit.

Maybe if you were an RIAA member who moonlights as a catholic priest and molests dogs.


According to urban dictionary it's a term bloggers use to refer to President Bill Clinton. So that clears things up.


So they pretty much simply receive a lot of hate due to people's own envy?


It happens _every_ night dad.  You start drinking at 7:55 pm and she clocks me at 8:07 pm like goddamn clockwork.


good luck. i don't fuck up often.


They're for women who like to bee attractive.


Well I think it's awesome!  I know this is not actually a step towards bringing down the religion, but it's a little bitch slap - and I applaud it.


If it's not on the test, you now know an amazing new fact to wow your friends with!


Pizza and healthy should not be in the same sentence. It's fucking za, man. Your food is shit, your people are sad and your country is irrelevant.


I just about died when I read that XD


Just started back at Castle.


Whatever you do, **DO NOT** get rid of the dog. In order to achieve satisfaction, your son will **NEED** that animal accessible at all times. Give them privacy and the respect they deserve, and their sexual bond will blossom into something beautiful!

Edit: Downvotes? This is the truth of the matter, people. Grow up.


This.

Is.

Not.

reddiquette!!!!


Tell that to the Russians.


Wow. Anyone got a TL;DR version?


I am also an IT professional that doesn't use anti-virus.

1. Because I am frequently on Linux

2. Because I don't give a fuck.


TIL people actually follow cricket.

Edit: The amount of downvotes for this comment is hysterical, keep em coming!


Might want to check the used by date.

I'm trying to make a joke but I'm a virgin and now I just feel sad.


Now, which is my point. Things change, pee was sterile until last year.


Lego Bricks aren't patentable but Apple can patent the fucking concept of "swipe to unlock"?


I like how you claim that there is no drama and then proceed to end your post with the most passive aggressive sentence you could think of.


No, he's quite skilled. Notice how he lampshaded the karma whoring; that's not something you see from a rookie.


yea man but i mean that it looks like a big weight lost..im fat myself and i barely lose weight

im starting to give up

hold me closer Ed, its getting ddddarkk


No no, because every scandal has -gate after it now, "watergate" is henceforth known as "watergategate"


It's really sad that people blindly believe the things they read about stem cells and science.  It's unfortunate that paralyzed patients are being given false hope at the cost of murdering babies.  This is why I homeschool my children, so they can grow with wholesome values without the mass media's agenda to shape their world-view.


Please keep the questions civil and banane.


I figured it was some kind of bot, but I honestly don't care. You seem to be filled with care though, defending the honor of this "new" IP.


When I was in high school, a parent wanted to donate a keyboard, and we were told if the parent did, the keyboard was considered a donation to the entire district, and the school that needed it the most received it. So while a donation was welcome, it did not mean that the high school would be the ultimate recipient of the donation.


>Great story

cool story bro. FTFY


as you Brits might put it, they're "smashing"


I've never seen anyone get so down voted on their own post. lol


I gave my wife *her grandmother's* engagement ring and it was probably one of the sweetest gestures that I could have made.

So yea, this girl wasn't the right one for you...consider it a message from beyond the grave.


I don't understand why you're being downvoted, we've seen it before how emotional it is. It's gruelling.


"whom you antagonize"

*wink*


I'm an atheist.  What's wrong with "demonic" shit.  Sure they are not just misunderstood?  It's not like God doesn't have the revelations "fire reign from the sky" is any kinder.


You are the worst kind of person.


You keep telling yourself that, buddy.


thank you for the advice, it is noted and I will.


The modern western woman is frivolous and impulsive.

As a general rule, you're better off not trusting her words until she proves otherwise with her *actions*.


Tons of nazis fled to Argentina after the war to avoid criminal prosecution.


Abercrombie and Fitch is the adult store. Abercrombie is for kids. People like to talk shit about the clothes but I've never had an issue. I like their jeans, shirts, and jackets. I used to not only wear a lot of their clothes but I worked there for a year or so in college. People who would shit talk the store were mainly ugly, fat or poor.


^^ **WE'VE GOT OURSELVES AN EXPERT EVERYONE!**


GTFO with your dickhead stereotype

EDIT: overreaction admitted. Apologies for being overly sensitive.


Actually, that sounds pretty awesome too!


And from what ivory tower do they judge everyone else on planet Earth?


Yes, that's exactly how Ireland works.


Fuck F2P's. HERE COMES THE COMES THE BUTT RAGE.


He's still holding the kid down.


Yes but that doesn't change the fact that it's not there


Perry: "Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?"

Harry: "A picture of me?"

Perry: "The definition of the word "idiot" which you fucking are!"


i used to coach boxing... HA

you can see him go out with the jab...

hilarious

**(i love it- ya, downvote me because i am not a lazy fuck like most of you and worked my ass off to end up coaching a sport i love and also because you are fucking blind and cant see the obvious. some really stupid, jealous and miserable people around here...)**


I never link to gross shit, gore, and rarely to NSFW stuff, and if I do I will tag it, and probably say what it is first.

What you see is what you get with an Apostolate Post (TM).


and years later you celebrate his downfall

you're definitely one of the nice ones


Hooolll^ldddd^iiiiii^iiii^tttt^tttt^tttt^ttttttt^*(thump)*


Are you against war crimes? You should start at home then.


Keep it classy, bigstinkyniggerdick.


Pics were too blurry for me to see much of anything.  Post pics of the cat once the dog has chewed it in half.


This is standard of care with intracranial pressure requiring emergency craniotomy. It's called skull flap storage, and it's the safest way to preserve your own bone until it can be put back.


You guys on't have unified search? Who would have thought Google's OS would be lacking in the search department.


He did. It was a coupon for Chick-Fil-A.


Wow that looks amazing!


Al Qaeda is an organization in the same way that Anonymous is an organization.


As a shareholder of BP, I'm extremely happy about this. I will make more money this month.


In this case, the cake is in fact a lie.


I feel bad for niggers since their skin is the same color as my shit.


Obviously cause he wanked the black right off.


no one else has done a lot of things before. Every single player in the league has done something that no one else has done. That doesn't mean that it matters.


Your reactions to these things are waaaaay out of proportion to the offences that they are. You should probably see someone about your anger problems.


That's not how irony works, you fucking dumbshit.


I never expected a story about a failed attempt at sex with a crazy lady to end with me pondering the very nature of existence...


If CHICAGO, for fuck sake, is like this, then how on god's green earth is New Orleans? What a brilliant country. Maybe I am too spoiled living in Sweden.


If women want equal rights they should be able to take equal lefts.


And that was how I jizzed on your Mother.


Joe Biden, Drew Barrymore, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Anderson Cooper, Twister Sister, and Tide Detergent are just a few of the people or organizations who have responded, and they were all very nice.

Michael Bay responded and was a complete dick.

-WT


It's only Villa...who gives a shit?


If that son of a bitch doesn't have a statue erected for him by the end of the year in DC, there will be no justice in this world.


=D Obama is done. It's over. Good riddance.


Middle school was *like* hell. I'm sorry that happened. :/

EDIT: OK, stop giving me shit for saying "literally" which, just so you know, is a huge part of teenage vocab, like literally.


Looks like someone just inadvertently admitted to pirating WoW.


I don't think it is - it's just that the loudest ones tend to be on the extreme end of things. "Normal" Christians that act Christ-like don't make the news.


My elo is listed as 1020 when it is really 2300, yes....yes....


Leave me out of this please.


He's easy to hate because he's white. Black artists don't get as much hate for writing "womanizing" lyrics but a white male doing it is an easy target.


Your knees are weak, arms become heavy


Hopefully I won't get downvoted for saying Gradual_BillCosby is now my favorite novelty account.


Well....Did you fix it?


Not subscribed, it's just added in my red pill multireddit.


right? looks so fluffy


>so that you can have things your way at the expense of everyone else

This is all women do on Reddit.


Omg, but i am like, soooo random!!! lol today i was talking to my bestfrandd about lip gloss n stuff, then i started randomly thinking about waffles lol. im soo weird n crazyyyyyy


I wouldn't say it's too far from the truth, so I don't see the problem. Men have to be reminded to be attentative and a slew of other counternatural things to please women as well in a relationship. And yes, few men would not cheat if not getting any.


you died 30 years ago. i see your dust cloud bro. sorry to spoil your day.


"liek dis if u cry evrytim"


To be honest, I stop typing for the moment I need to shift. What really made me pro at steering with my knee was talking on the phone while eating.


Neither am I.  Hacker, racist, what next a homophobe?  Hell, I've even heard CatZ call Destiny a "faggot" before and use the word "rape" interchanably with destroy, so he is obviously okay with such horrible language like Destiny.


> You've made a huge mistake.*


I used to spend a few hours working on a Portal 2 test chamber the other day, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


"They hate us cuz they anus"


The placebo effect makes homeopathy at least as effective as prayer.


**[Wake up](http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_know_that_Jesus_existed)!**


I stage random interventions for addictions people don't have.

Silliness is required in life.

I also grew up with my parents sitting both me and my brother down at the dinner table, and informing us that they've "made an executive decision and they're going to have to let one of us go".

I want to grow up to have that kind of relationship.


Please. Spare everyone. You're just playing to the crowd. "Look at me, guys! I'm a Christian! I'm down with science! Is that what you kids are into now-a-days?" If you can't argue with science, why do you hold a belief (creationism) *which has been deductively falsified* by the theory of evolution?


Nothing screams "classy" like a snot-soaked rag


Leave the moderating to moderators.


Unless I'm mistaken, it says somewhere in the movie, or maybe it's in a deleted scene, that all of humans electronics and software were reversed engineered from that one spacecraft they're hiding at area 51 and that's the why it works.


> Never felt so offended in my life.

...sigh

EDIT: really, please keep using downvotes to vent you miserable frustrations. You should be glad I don't get "offended" by your sheer stupidity


Vomit is a thousand times worse.


Doesn't PBS take public funds?  If so, I already unwillingly contribute to them.  I'll not contribute any more to those looters.


For what you get, I think Macs are very overpriced. Very very overpriced. I like the form factor, ease of use, and stability that a Mac has. But not the price.


Reported for spamming.


Georgia is out of the KKK territory. I need to call our tourism board and tell them the good news.


upboat for using karmanaut as a level of hate on reddit.


Bobs abortion clinic, no fetus can beat us!


go fuck yourself, seriously


ja, zat one was pretty good


I hope you won't be. I'd really hate to see Pep coaching the Real Madrid of England...
I, for one, think he'll be going to Italy when he's done with his sabbatical.


You have a transformer on your forehead


OMG, REDDITRZ R SOOOOO FAHNEEEEEEEE  <3 <3 <3


His world had vanished long before he ever entered it -- but, I will say: he certainly sustained the illusion with a marvelous grace!


Why do people upvote this fucking retard. This isn't clever, it isn't funny, and it damn sure isn't interesting.


I had sex with a leatherback turtle, and let's just say I didn't wear a leatherback.


There have been countless posts about how we will remove posts about cheating. It's been beaten to death.


He had a line last night that went something like "it's so cold here tonight that politicians are walking around with their hands in their own pockets." He's the only reason to watch now.


You have obviously never met a hardcore feminist


This is weird for me. Highland park is the richest neighborhood in Dallas.


This was quite a risky post, given those circumstances.

edit- see?


I'm jelly of your jelly.


If you can see it from across a large room, it is not a small flaw.


Canadians, that's who.


I'm pretty sure Suprnova was founded a few months before isoHunt. Still though, it's not a big difference, and isoHunt lives on.


Alternately, "For Butter or for Wurst".


Well can you guess which platform I bought them for?


A few team members yes, and those who do love it. Adorable. - SLS


you let yourself get bullied by asians? Seriously? You deserve to get the shit kicked out of you for being a homosexual. Grow a pair of balls


What kind of pies were they?


Really?

Looked like something else to me.

😓


A chicken teriyaki with mustard on it...

In retrospect, that should have told me something


I think it's safe to say the "looks shopped" comment needs to die forever.


Time to call for draw mohemed everyday. Every fucking news media outlets should have a picture of a day.  Don't back down from these monsters.

Edit :- Got  sent  this [link](https://www.facebook.com/groups/1007786699237834/)  where  they are  collecting drawings  for  draw  mohemed every day posts .


well you're welcome to your opinion of course


Judging by this thread, it also takes the sex out.


The interesting this is, this wasn't ment to be a explaination on how babbys were formed. He sat down and the rest of the poor babbys were caught in his gravitational pull.


Hi, I'm Chris Hansen, I would love to meet your parents.


Just so you know, I downvoted you based on your need to explain your downvotes and your own condescending tone. And now I shall be downvoted in turn. And the world turns.


"Haul it, ball it, never call it. Girls are objects!"

~Ben Franklin


Came here to say this. Faith restored.


LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS, IT'S ABOUT LEARNING TO DANCE IN THE RAIN~


I'm afraid I don't understand your complaint?


You open all the windows and switch off the heating. The little scrotes have two choices: Behave or freeze.


This is why reddit is composed of underemployed virginal shut ins.

Good work everyone. Keep your safe place safe for idiocy.


So your workplace is.... Tree?


O rly? Wouldn't it be funnier if I could read it in Roy's voice, though?


What does your mom think about that day now?


With any luck, we will find out in seven months


Actually, it was his friend that was asking him for advice. So really, it WASN'T Shaggy. Though if Shaggy thinks to give that advice, and said friend comes to Shaggy for advice, then most likely at some point in the past, it WAS Shaggy.

So, uh, good work, detective.


Not really, I'm just not a stupid bitch who cares about their internet points.


Oops your girl was too dumb :(


Will you add me? I have downs and make fun of kids with autism, so I will be a great teammate..


Everyone had gained enough Culture to spawn a Great Person.


Yeah because a woman who's about to pay a doctor to shove something up her vagina in order to dismember her unborn child, which she will then shit out her pussy, is really capable of shame....


You've been birddoggin' this township a while now. They wouldn't mind a corpse of you. Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you.


You must be a blast at parties.


Or you get mobbed by the starving children and they eat your food and you too.


It ain't lyin' if it's true. The clinic manager from NJ is on tape telling them to lie about their age, and student status.


I think you'd be OK! You'd sleep all night and you'd work all day... But would you dress in women's clothing and hang around in bars?

Edit: third reddit comment = >800 upvotes. I'm not even mad, that's amazing


Oh, the irony.

Edit: he corrected the pile of spelling mistakes in his tiny sentence.


when you said "break into this single wide trailer" I thought you were talking about the fat chick. &#3232;\_&#3232;

edit: this is now my highest rated comment.... I'm not sure how to feel about this.


Damn, you got me! All I want is a little bit of love and to not be treated as an object all the time! I HAVE FEELINGS!


Azubu's Far Seer - 30 Ability Power, 25 Magic Resist

Unique Active: Pings target location of enemy team.


Of your 160 lb body making a fool of himself all over the internet? Nope keep it coming


You had 2 stories and THIS is the one you chose?


It wouldn't considering that BF3 uses Destruction 2.0.


Would you say you have a....

...Short temper?

;)


post proof you douche bag, or we just should believe you??? lol you are a fucking loser, trolling on reddit


That's a terrible question to ask him.


Yes, because that is exactly what I said.  Nice try, Captain.


Hell, people from one week ago wouldn't get it.


I used to post shitty memes, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


4 8 15 16 23 42 [execute]


i dont see any problems with it.


Sanctity of marriage.


Nah he initiated physical contact. And I did pay attention to what I'm doing by not leading him on and pretending not to notice when he wanted to kiss because I knew by the end of the date that I didn't want to see him again.


You very own RETARDIS. It lets you travel through time whilst doing really retarded stuff.


I used to rate things, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I should have stole the answer key.


You understand nothing. It's about the perception of law, which is different for Americans and Russians. And that's a cultural thing.


ring ring ring ring ring ring ring.....Sinthasomphone!!


Their government thought they could build a productive economy by removing incentives and forfeiting the productive and allocative efficiencies of capitalism. You think a pet science project is fucked up?


Good Will Hunting for me too, but the scene towards the end when they're swapping child abuse stories and Robin Williams keeps repeating "It's not your fault."

That whole scene.  Every damn time, it gets me.


Oh for fuck's sake, why do we need to point out Haskell separately?  It's like having the Black Entertainment Awards.

It's a programming contest, not a C++ contest.  If Haskell isn't winning it's because A) Haskell sucks, B) Haskell programmers suck, or C) Both.

Haskell is fugly so it only attracts people with cognitive disabilities.

And they can't even take a joke!


What makes you think I didn't go completely insane?


I ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT... FOR SCIENCE!!!


That's what my girlfriend says too :/


However he's not actually good at dota. And I guess its fun if you enjoy watching autistic people get angry.


But here's the thing. You, a girl, wearing jeans and a t-shirt with short hair isn't much of a big deal. When that boy wears a pink dress to school, nobody will ever let that boy live it down.


> although there was a show in the U.S. where Animal Rights activists did similar to put folk off attending.

You mean, a dog died and the owner blamed PETA on absolutely no basis? The shit people upvote on Reddit is ridiculous. You're a fucking idiot.


and then post the vid to /r/popping. They will love you.


It's an amazing thing you're doing, giving all the fucks I don't have.


Sounds like a dog's thought process.


> You sure are fat and ugly and I hate you for it, but I adore your penmanship.

Well, I for one would be happy getting such a reply. I already know I am fat and ugly, at least I did my best for my penmanship.

You are right tho, but I am starting to enjoy the attention now... :D


>das gangbang

His german checks out.


I waited for that gif to move for far too long


You win at reddit when your tl;dr forces me to read comment.  Cheers.


Really? Super Meat Boy is so damn easy, I've been going back and A+ing every level and usually in only a couple tries.  Kids these days, ruined by stupid RPGs that don't require any skill.


Science is part of everyone's everyday life. Hard to find anything lovelier than a tree. They grow at right angles to a tangent of the nominal sphere of the Earth. They take water from the ground toward the sky. They are made mostly of carbon... which they take in right out of the air. How cool is that... and so on and on and on and on and on and on and on....


"How dare you use an alternate but just-as-viable spelling!"

Seriously? You're complaining about that?


Really?! I can't help but stare when I see dudes freeballin' in sweats. It's like, 1/2 hot, 1/2 not.


More like retarded bastard!


OOh yeah! Nothing like a good ole public shaming. Then they'll have to shut down the street again when they quickly move out :)


Yes, you fucking piece of garbage.

Let's all hope the Israeli Terrorists can quickly get back to murdering Palestinian children, stealing land, ethnic cleansing, murdering humanitarian aid workers, running bulldozers over American citizens, starting wars against its neighbors,...


Quite the dick if it adds 4 inches to your height.


>You're aware that SRS is a circlejerk?

That probably explains why it's such a terrible subreddit.

Edit: lol


It's a magazine who's prime demographic is single women. All their advice is going to be based around perpetuating singleness.


Anyone who says "I will never..." is a fucking retard.


THIS IS NORMAL. NOT INCEST. *NOT INCEST*.


I want maclin but with Sanchez resign means no mariota or we trade Sanchez to jets for mariota :)

Edit: alright dunno why I'm getting down voted
Unless we trade foles for mariota resigning Sanchez keeping foles and getting mariota is a waste


Same shit happens in DC. I work on a one way street but I ALWAYS look both ways cause these dudes are just flying around constantly.


Well it's actually white and gold


The post said drunk, not one beer.


Eh, he complains a lot; he sounds like a whiney bitch who may well have deserved everything that happened to him.

Remember: there are ** ALWAYS ** two sides to every story. You've heard one side, and that is all.


Its about $3.50 iirc. I'm actually pretty broke, but meh, gold supports the site that keeps me entertained. Enjoy your little yellow medal.


I know I feel so bad for all the Jewish Zillionaires who run the USA now. They suffer soooo much.


Or someone resized and fit a screenshot into the display. Cause that wouldn't be hard at all.


The thing that killed me:

Blink count: 9


Winning is always fun.


Someone slashed their bus tires once. A box cutter is cheap, tires cost a lot of money... I'm not condoning vandalism... I'm just saying its hard to protest without transportation


She doesn't get high from blowing smoke to her face. She enjoys the scent, and I do want her to be exposed so she can make her own decisions as she gets older. She doesnt smoke first hand. Second hand smoke doesnt go into your bloodstream therefore you cannot get high.


I feel that someone should edit the page to put the Controversies back in. And if a brand-new Wikipedia user takes it down, then we'll know more conclusively that this is a GOP directed initiative to keep the page clean. There is no reason that section should have be taken down, plus this way all the actions will be recorded meticulously.


Just drink some water


..you must be new here


That is of terrible quality. Leave.


Congratulations on losing weight!


15 seconds too slow. FML.


A 20 year old and a stillborn.


Bingo. I'm in the second camp. I know *full well* what's going on with this whole situation, and I truly don't give a shit what happens to Megaupload, the Pirate Bay, or the rest of its ilk.

I don't pirate. Why the fuck should I care what happens to a bunch of despicable people?


my lord I can't believe she was still swinging after that. She got CRACKED.


LOL U KNO SO MUCH ABOUT FALSE ADVERTISING

/s

Just go back to eating your Cheetos, OP


This one almost caused an existential crisis for me. But then I realized I still had some weed and I forgot what I was thinking about.


Throw some my way too, if you all don't mind.


Marry a girl named Rachel


she looks like she came from a party. quit whining, there are way more serious problems!


Used a gif from the episode you referenced. 10/10


You're an idiot and probably shouldn't be on the internet or you might get a detention, they have those in middle school right?


Tell her to lay off on the teeth next time I throat-fuck her. It was goddamn annoying last time, I had to beat it out of her.


Lee Cheng gave lawyers a good name.

He's THAT good.


wow, forbid her?  why date her in the first place?


If they didn't they'd have to fight _real_ crime.


fuck me i forgot where i was. LOL NICE PENIS TATTOO BRO OP IS A FAGGOT


BOBBY THERE'S YOUR LIIII


I never said it wasn't, but the whole "invading her house" and her "having trouble sleeping safe at night" is a little hyperbolic.  Yeah they fucked up her yard and annoyed her neighbors, but they didn't break in and terrorize her.


What does basketball have to do with selling chicken? .... Oh, I get it .. ahahaha


Kind of an obvious joke. Not too creative.

However, I appreciate the extra broken down breakdown. I like the way you said the joke.

Upvote.


Me and my girlfriend thought it'd be fun to make an account each on Tinder and see what matches we got by swiping right to everyone.

10 minutes later I'd swiped 100 girls and got 1 reply back, she couldn't even carry on playing because of the constant matches popping up on the screen.

It really is weird how different it is for the two sexes.


And 9 other nfl championship trophies pre super bowl


Yes, strike first. Hard and fast. Leave no room for her to counterstrike.


A BIG deal out of NOTHING? What KIND of SHIT are you trying to pull here? THIS is AMERICA. There is NO reason for this kind of COLD HEARTED DECEPTION AND TRICKERY to be going on in the LAND OF THE FREE and THE HOME OF THE BRAVE.


And all the time, that bastard was sipping wine in Europe with Catwoman.


Just look it up on wikipedia you fucken shit eater.


That means you were the pity friend.


The absolute worst type of pandering to get attention. I wonder how Murdock's family feels about this.


Same thing happened to me man.
I had just walked in from playing cops and robbers on bikes, i was maybe 11-12 years old. I look on the counter to see those gallon of Hawaiian punch bottles. I proceed to uncap it and just start chugging, i instantly realize that this was not fruit punch. It was soap, dish washing soap.
I am now a dish washing machine.


They showed them.  It's all up and up.

Obamas past however.... Is riddled with contradictions throughout

But you Trust Obama??


Ouch, right in the Holocaust


Your comment was AUTOMATICALLY removed because it violates the verbal morality code.


SHOTS FIRED..... and not registered.


lOOllll she bE mAD uGLY!!! WhY cANT sHE jUst AcEPt tEeh fACt ThaT ShE is aaN oLd hAG!! HEr Son lOkS liKe Teh tYpICAL rEDiter TOO!!


The Japanese government vehemently denies the Rape of Nanking to this day. It isn't limited to the fringe members of Japanese society.


Thanks for posting it here too.


Itsh pronounshed octopushy


>le No. le I am of le opinion that le blind people only eat alone or with le other blind people.

FTFY xD


And a lot more dangerous. I punched my best friend square in the face after he took my shiny dratini and traded it to someone else


Eh, well, people did demand it for some reason, and it is silly. I do agree ^


But then people would be like "Ew, you drink sprite?  That stuff tastes like cum."


Install this and you'll have something even worse: http://www.openoffice.org/


AKA Churchilll's bitch.


how do you old farts even know how to been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?


> I am currently studying for my Masters in Electrical Engineering..

And there it is.


I kindly invite you to go fuck yourself.

Alex Kingston is a hideous trainwreck and the freak she plays deserves to go through a woodchipper.


Fun fact - Even though pandas' diet consists of 99% bamboo, they belong to the order carnivora!


It's more likely that they don't want to deal with a bunch of idiotic hairless monkeys who have a great majority of their population that believe in magic sky people.


Umm, did you use Google Translate for this?  It actually means, "Mother, come sit on my love gun."


>Well, Al Gore won the election in 2000

FTFY

EDIT: Not complaining about downvotes, but I am wondering if this subreddit has more conservatives than liberals?


Gaben tears up
"it is time" he says "they are ready"
HL3, portal 3 and L4D3 released on same day.


How about we just shoot for normal-looking? I'm sorry, would that kill the boner you must have while you're playing video games?

I love how all of you are having a comically hard time coming to terms with the fact that video games under-represent women, it's not a secret or anything.


I can picture this perfectly. You look behind you and don't see him anywhere, so you slide into the clothing rack backwards, scanning for him. Once in the middle, you quietly sigh in relief and smile to yourself. Then you feel breath on your neck and turn around. He's in there with you. You're dead.


And we know it's Israel how?  My first thought was Ghadaffi or however you spell his name.  Israel builds a house, the world goes up in arms, Ghadaffi does this to his people and that same world stays muted and tries to point to Israel.

Hmmm...  What might be *your* angle?


So basically they changed their own rules?


Goddamn that deaf one was hilarious, I'm trying not to wake up my whole house right now.

I'm a bad person


"acceptable loss", you might have just proved that statement reasonable...


Because all this will do is end up with the police shooting more people, but now it's justified.


Yea... No one says daft in America, ever


Plenty of people find friends on there. Have some trust.


The Patriots (NFL team) were recently accused of using deflated footballs in their playoff game against the Colts.

Edit: Changed "Cults" to "Colts".  Cults would still be a cool team name regardless.


isn't it just beautiful!


Love story.......feels Goodman.


I've been in the ocean before. I don't want to brag or anything, but I've done it several hundred times probably.


For me, its a texture thing... I just... can't do it...


You know that for a fact? Answer = no.


Saw a block of text, read the TL;DR, went back and read the block of text.

Man, that sucks for everybody.  Sorry you had that experience :(


What? Is English your first language? I didn't question whether he was actually smiling or not.


americans have been conditioned to be terrified of strangers.


Ok, its all a conspiracy. You assume there is no legitimacy to the voting process. Thats fine. It still doesn't answer my question, you're just offering a common, and poorly supported opinion.


You should'a seen their penalties for being Jewish!...

...

...I'll see myself out.


Oh hey, a woman in the kitchen joke. That's original.


I thought Cap was riding Iron Man for a second there.


kill yourself. You have a sickness that cannot be cured. Do not harm innocent little kids, they don't deserve your sickness.


Right? I cant even take a shit outside and he's fucking masturbating.

Edit: whooho, thanks for the gold /u/thesatchmo.


Seriously. A single "what the heck" would've sufficed. No need to be all dramatic and react to something this common for a solid 3 minutes. It made me so angry and I completely agree with you /u/Rhynin


Is this able you blow job?

Edit: never go full retard.


really i'm not trolling.... i just don't like playing with mouse and keyboard i WOULD play on PC with controller but like i said i would just lose to the other players because i know mouse and keyboard give better aim vs a xbox one controller.

 Man you guys are cut throat people here huh? Amazing community.


TIL There's a saying "to dead fish her"


I used to protect Russia's skies like him, then I took an arrow in the knee!


Weapons of math instruction are dangerous implements.


I fucking lol'd even though there's a Goddam nigger in the image.


Too many characters...


water becomes more volumous when it is melted from ice to a liquid state. therefore there is multiple times the amount of water iin the north polar ice caps as there is actual ice.


Finally! My name has been called!!!!!!


That is a temporal matter that I would win in an analytical based dispute over the time displacement from my original comment. (Time = change[votes]) like, duh?!?!


People on the internet don't know what trolling is anymore either.


The Pats did break the rules they just weren't caught.  The officials do need to make the call as you said, but the Pats don't have to break the rules in the first place.


Wait til they PLAN their second child. That's a mind fuck.


You have committed the unholy trinity of bullshit here.  You've got a low quality post, it's abusive, and it's off-topic.  I almost want to congratulate you!

Almost.


Feel bad for that kid in the corner, that's for sure. :P


Spreading information =/= targeting the 1%. Should have listened instead of making fun of them, might have learned something.


AMA Request: a Poli Sci prof who took on /r/politics and still has hope for humanity.


hey, but Turing was gay, therefore he deserves more credit according to modern thinking


ಠ_ಠ

<|>

/ω\


Gross.

I mean about the black girl.


I think [this](http://i.imgur.com/0nvrz.jpg) is more accurate for Japanese porn.


wow, so much for free speech....fuck germany. i dont agree with everything hitler did but you have to admit that IF he had succeeded in wiping out the jews (instead of just inflaming them) then the world would be a better place. now germany's gone to shyt without him.


It's funny because it's extremely sad.


My pleasure, *tips fedora*. (Disclaimer: I don't actually own a fedora.)
Edit: Jeez, what's with all the downvotes? Happy New Year, indeed. *tips no headgear ever again*


A free-to-play MMORPG with procedurally generated micro-transactions.


LET'S MAKE A SENSING MAMMY MEME


If you are interested in finding good movies, I created www.whatisonnetflix.com it gives you the highest rated movies from Imdb, Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic that are streamable on Netflix.

Edit: Sorry guys - only US content! I'm planning on adding multiple regions on my next release!


This is the third time I've seen this posted and the first time I've seen this explanation: to the top with you!


This makes perfect sense. My preceptor gave an example that explains why:

"Hello Ms. X, this is John from the So and So Women's Clinic calling with your pregnancy test results."

Turns out that Mr. X answered the phone. And that he had a vasectomy some years ago.


got a problem? nigga? :)


Excerpt from Wikipedia

> It is believed that Prime Minister Jean Chrétien knocked over a maple syrup bottle but refused to apologise. Some say that, as this is a serious crime in Canada, it was covered up to protect him from prison time.


Oh my gosh, I wasn't saying that he should watch them 24/7 but he also should not leave them in a place by themselves where they can get to alcohol. Oh and by the way you can go to jail for child neglect.


I usually just print out the pictures and tape them onto the projector screen when i get to that slide


TAKE ALL ONE OF THEM!!!


**o͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡╮༼;´༎ຶ.̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨.̸̸̨̨۝ ༎ຶ༽╭o͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡   KILL ME**


what has he "destroyed" so far?

lol you is a retard.

bill oreilly, still more viewers than the daily show.  get real.


oh man... this does wonders for my upvote efficiency.


> "I'm going to watch Jaws." "Which one?"

If this conversation ever happened, then your friends have Aspergers.


Seriously. As a paramedic, that was atrocious. They were hardly moving as a man lay dying in the street they're taking their sweet ass time. Not to mention the disregard for the NUMBER ONE rule as an EMT; the cervical spine stabilization. We would NEVER just grab dudes arms and legs and lift him onto that back board. What the fuck were they thinking?


better yet...*mission accomplished*


Whorecruxes.

Ooh... Shiny. Thanks!


are you saying you think the housing bubble was caused by HOA clauses instead of factors like artificially cheap credit, among others?


With my male lover, who is also homosexual, like me.

There, no confusion.


someone needs to make them first, which is a gigantic gold sink for not so great of a reward.


> maybe take the $5 that you'd spend on Reddit Gold (or a burger, or whatever) and donate it to Child's Play[1] .

No  >:(  you're not the boss of me.  [Take that!](http://i.imgur.com/DKVS6Ab.png)  ^^and ^^[this](http://i.imgur.com/UfoyLfX.png)


DAMN 6 YEARS ON DIS SHIT. you havent seen da puss in awhile. You know that feel bro...


she's actually raised in the US and lives in CA.


ditto...anyone got a cone by the way im starving


makes me question the mother


as far as i know they are just playing cards, the box says "Republic Playing cards"


Source? I have not seen anything official say this.


This entire post is bullshit. The fucking cops ducked down behind the guy. They used him as a human shield.


Because this hadn't already happened.


I was just thinking the same thing nice tits fuck her right in the pussy


Oh dear lord, pick it up again!


Actually I'd say it's more like buying a jackhammer because you can't get your sister to g-spot orgasm.


As a demon this is terrifying.


55 mph is highway and 30 is city 45 is mid. Stop speeding bro


Especially "Ah yes! I was wondering what would break first!"

It came off so very much like "What a bully day for a fight!"


Typical Democrat. You just put a bunch of words together without actually saying anything. Congratulations.


She was charged with vandalism, animal cruelty (ironically) , and the officers added the fact that she called 911 with no real emergency.

I have a new window, door panel, and leather seats thanks to her.


It's the cirrrrrrcle of life.


Welcome to identity politics where the only power is victim-hood.


Whales have bigger brains than we do and are probably more intelligent than we are. Killing a whale is murder.


No, and there are no targets that are off limits. The thing we are conscious of is attacking the wrong target--someone who is defenseless. We don't do that. And if we do do it the joke has to be so over the top mean that the joke is how mean we are being. Thank you for your question and God bless you --S.R.


Dude, this is the biggest problem with these subs. If you say anything other than, "Dayum, dat ass" or anyothet reddit approved slang, you get down voted liked a mofo!

All that's to say, keep doing you. I'll upvote comments like this all day!


Small difference here, the Jews never ran around shooting and beheading cartoonists.

Edit:  there seems to be some hostility to this comment.   For clarity, I was not implying that we should repeat the Holocaust, except this time with Muslims.   I was simply pointing out that comparing the two situations is comparing apples to oranges.


what's wrong? **did I press a nerve?**


Who just leaves ghost peppers hanging around


But Superbad is incredibly boring.


Perks of winning the Revolutionary War.


yeah i was shocked after i finished watching it that it was 70% upvoted

this is the kind of video pewdiepie would make


2 towers fell that day.  He had a 2 dollar bill.  Coincidence?


Conversely, you couldn't find a single progressive in the entire country who would complain if a school put up a plaque that says "لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله". That's the problem. The political right and left both want the first amendment destroyed; they just want to destroy it in the name of two different religions.


She'd dropped a couple of zingers about not being able to have kids, mentioned she'd had a falling out with some family members, other stuff that totally made sense after we'd talked. In retrospect she was trying to start a conversation about it, whereas I was still all HURR I'M A DURR.


Real men didn't play this.


Redditor for 5 minutes... I don't think he's the bastard.


much more work being put into that than 1 file for a model. also an incentive to pre-order


No. Not *you*. You keep your damned mouth shut!


What about the people who don't want to see neither naked nor clothed fat people? I hope you show some decency and stay inside for the sake of humanity, if you have a BMI of >30.


My fiancé worked at Burger King about a year ago for a few months.  He said everything was ridiculously well-kept and hygienic.  New fries every 3 minutes regardless, grills cleaned meticulously, all machines cleaned every 12 hours at least.


Also, karmawhoring fail.


He's just saying that to cover his ass legally. It is exactly intended to replace tooth brushing.

It's like q tips. They're designed for the ear canal.

Edit: for you inbreeds saying q tips only push wax in...

You insert without making contact with anything. Then move it to the side where the wax is. Then pull the wax out. Real simple.


It's so cute how they like to pretend they're grown up & become Goons.


That is assuming you can actualy build it. You might know **how** to build it, but where would you get the resources? Nobody is gonna believe that machine will actualy work, afterall.


> To be honest the parasite class in this country are too blame for a lot of our problems.

A bunch of do nothing parasites dragging the entire world down.


When people make fun of me, it's normally behind my back. During the few times it has happened to my face, my friends have stood up for me. I'm really lucky to have them.

A few times, but I just correct them


Oh Behemoth is bland yet nicki minaj isnt...oh man I feel bad for kids nowadays.


MY PENIS IS JUST FINE THANK YOU.


if you think nerdy behavior is unattractive i'm not sure what to say to you. also lol xkcd isn't exactly a stupid fucking comic.

also OH NOES YOUR APPLESAUCE


I did not initially know I was going to play someone with multiple personalities (or multiple characters). It was like playing a new character every day, and I got to dive into Jungian theory. Win/win.


Might as well take it one step forward and say 4chan is keeping the Internet alive. Lol sociopaths are funny to laugh at but shouldn't dictate any real influence.


I'm not sure if I'm excited or depressed. Proud or embarrassed. A dude or a dork.


I'm white, but it's k, you can blur those lines in the south I guess.


Killed joke level: very high


oddly enough, i was playing doom a little bit ago after a couple bowls...

edit-...i'll retreat back to r/trees then :(


I am convinced that there has been a degradation in driving skills since the slow phase out of manual drive cars.

I think manual drive vehicles force you to pay attention more.


this should be easy. i think i saw her at the nail salon downtown. ill go tomorrow and check.

edit: im back. i couldnt tell which one it was. they all look the same. sorry bro.


> and the French are great people

let's not get carried away now :P


ScumbagMonk surfing on the wave of fanboyrage.


I work as a server and no matter how terrible a customer has treated me I'm proud to be able to say that I've never done anything malicious to their food.

Perhaps I just haven't met the right one yet who will push me over the edge...

Edit: I guess this paid off because I got a promotion tonight :) :) :)


Really? Something THIS common and you didn't just assume it was posted on here already?


Takes a picture. Dies.


That's, seriously, hilarious.  But, it also demonstrates why you've never been invited to a party other than your own.


the rest of your family are faggots


Una italiana meridionale è morta. Big. Fucking. Deal. Probabilmente la ragazza crescerebbe a una mafiosa(o era già una mafiosa, non lo so). Se non, almeno sarebbe una europea meridionale, che solo sa la professione di incompetenza e corruzione, e prendere il debito come una buona schiava dei ebrei in germania e francia.


>the diamonds on the ring are stronger than the blades

Harder, yes. Stronger, no. Diamonds are brittle.


Except me drinking a soda doesn't affect people sitting around me.

Sitting in a food court and lighting up is just rude. The smell is awful and the smoke is disgusting. It's just funny to see people looking back fondly on something that was rightfully done away with.


I really don't see the difference between the women on top and the women on bottom.

Either way they just sit there while I do all the work.


A starting qb? Cassel hasnt been relevant in 5 years


And when you come out and say no you get this:

"Sorry I can't make it"
"Dude why not"
"I've got a thing"
"Oh come on man, you gotta come out."
"Nah really I've got a thing"
"Seriously man?  It'll be awesome."
"Like I said, a thing."
"Oh but dude so and so will be there"
and on and on.

It amazes me how many people can't accept a 'no'.


It was to the chest, thats a safe spot in wrestling where you can hit hard without causing any damage. Not really stiff.


Not positive, but I think it's off Weezer's Blue Album.


What I don't understand is why it matters what I post.


Haha, you watched it.


And the award for douchiest comment ever goes to...


Two fish are in a tank. They are swimming happily. They are exactly where they should be. They are good fish.


Upboat and sunglasses for you.


Maybe you should tattoo some jokes on your dick so you'd at least always have something funny to type at hand.


That's why he's an Olympic class athlete, and most of us are not.  Genetics.


> You're an amazing dad.

FTFY

Edit: grammar


Yeah that's it, I just wanted to repost it on this subreddit.


Yeah.  That's not a backfire, that's a preemptive success.  And I would have LOVED women to ask me out.


I was his secret santa.


We will call him...Brad.


Isn't that extra "strain" just like extra exercise, then?  :P  Seriously man... think.


I think it's time to bring back in the maple flavor, but this time do it with bacon! Bacon always sells!! so does siriracha but I don't think that would go so well with ice cream.

EDIT: Thank you for gold! Let's bring home the bacon!


Why do you care about proving your teacher wrong?   Who cares about high school.  Grow the fuck up.


Jesus Christ everyone in this threa is so angsty...