No, believe it or not I genuinely find the vocabulary of this generation to be fucking retarded. "bae" and all that stupid purposefully incorrect grammar "___ be like" is fucking stupid. If you think it's cool, go for it. Do what you need to do to fit in. You're the one that's going to look back and cringe at how stupid you sounded, not me.


Better Advice: Save up so you can move away from that vapid motherbitch when you turn 18.


Don't tell me you were never 3 min or so late to the game after randoming pre-buffed eve b/c  you were on reddit.


Yeah, I don't care who you are. Straight as Barney Stinson or gay as Neil Patrick Harris, everyone in this world, if presented with the opportunity, would have sex with Mila Kunis.


HOLD ON F-THAT!! STAY ON YOUR KEYBOARD!!! I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF!!!


A bunch of animals wandered in one day and all settled in the same place. No ones done anything about it.


Shhhh, don't tell them.


Michelle thought of making them yellow.


or tracks from people getting off...


I guess we'll never find out.


Expert expert expert here. I can confirm beyond doubt the relevance of the above advice.


It's almost like the Republican leadership has internally inconsistent standards they want to force on others.


Even without the faceswap, you can 100% see just how much you 2 resemble each other.

But a good excuse to share your wedding photos on the internet. /r/quityourbullshit


"The first thing that I look for in a women is intelligence. Because if she doesn't have that, then she's mine." -Anthony Jeselnik


Let's not muddy the water with this sort of stuff. Her eyes are fully dilated in that pic and I don't recall if this picture was taken before or after her accident.


He was described as "a little brat" by one of the cast members on CSI when he was a guest star. He shoved his hands into a cake, and locked one of the producers in a closet. It's most likely the reason they killed off his character. Talentless or not, he's a little shit.

EDIT: [Source](http://www.newser.com/story/118116/marg-helgenberger-csi-star-says-justin-bieber-is-a-brat.html)


She sounds a little crazy
edit: Wait why did this get 60 downvotes?


No, I just needed to know if that was the right way to explain it to your mom.


I know a guy who does things like this all **le** time, so this could just be someones very, very, long-term joke. Or he's just insanely socially incompetent.


Oh I forgot Liverpool and Sweden are 5 star teams    why be a dickhead?  Hahah


Don't mind Kyle everyone he just has a little sand in his vagina.


Nope, 1 is the correct answer because of PEMDAS:
Parenthesis
Exponents
Multiplication
Division
Addition
Subtraction

EDIT: Wow, okay, I feel so stupid that I forgot that MD and AS go from left to right. Sorry about that.... so y'all can stop down voting me now :[


/u/Shitty_WaterColour has a sister?


The buff is to get retarded Terrans, (like qxc, judging by this post), to use Ravens, and notice:  "Hey shit, this is really really broken.  Better abuse the fuck out of it."

Much like the Mothership acceleration boost, and the Warp Prism shield buff, and the Ghost cost shuffle.


In love with?

Fock, if a girl looked at me without disgust and asked to get her weed while I was in high school, I'd have overturned busses full of nuns to do so.

I wouldn't even question why there were so many busses.


As a sociable and well-liked brony magic nerd, fuck you.

ib4 censoring downvotes. Where's that free speech 4chan's always going on about, and their hate of the reddit vote system?


"Oh man, I can't WAIT until there's a post asking people what they would fill an Olympic sized pool with to survive a high dive! I'll be able to fill my pool with upvotes when it's all over with a username like this!"


Take forever off, I'm tired of seeing your fat face DAY9.


And now I can check off another one on my list of sentences I never thought I'd read.


First of all dumbass, we're the Browns. ::Insert apostrophe-based grammar nazism here::

Second of all, unlike 99% of jokes dealing with our inability to compete in...um...what was it again...oh FOOTBALL, your sad comment isn't even funny. Stop being a jackass.


''I like running''. Well who saw *that* coming.


Sorry I don't have hours to sift through thousands of posts to try to make sure something hasn't been posted before. Go fuck yourself.


I had to pull the handcuff off her wrist.


Geoffrey and the guy from [r/spacedicks](http://www.reddit.com/r/spacedicks).


Eventually you leave prison.


"Ha ha ha Simpsons you crack me up (behind back rolleyes)" that's my laugh whenever someone makes reference to that poor excuse for a cartoon


The thing about Samuel Kickin is that... he doesn't exist. The driver of the car was named William Greer.


There's no way she's NOT involved.  Just no way.  First she says "if you don't win MLG, don't come home", then suddenly he takes a win home, and she loves him.

And when he doesn't win, suddenly everything flips around.  Jessica is the culprit


Yogurt and feta cheese.


You fucking drove drunk too? Your a complete fuck up.

*Edit, long day. Downvote the fuck out of me it feeds my erection!


They are if you're welsh.


sorry but you probably could have prevented your son's death, you are just a shitty parent


Parrots are a bigger commitment than a clingy psycho girlfriend.


>go fuck yourself. die cracker die !!!

>wow you are just as bad as the third world savages.

>there is no european people.

>I hope you go deaf cracker

Hrmmm, looks like your little buddy-bud here is just as "racist" as me.


Those were ass-pennies


And a popped collar.


Ok let's stop this thread now.


Sometimes a niggers just a nigger


His bones are made of glass, and his skin is made of paper.

So don't try selling chocolate to him.


If it helps, I'm half of the comment posted here. Would you let somebody tear apart your 30 page research paper without defending it?


There's a show called Friendzone? That's really, really sad.


>Not owning both a PS4 and gaming PC
what are, you poor? :^)


She asked for a match and you gave her 10000 matches.  I would have promoted you for going above and beyond.


holy shit, i found a comment from you that notamethaddict has not commented on yet.


I'm surprised they let you stay without buying anything.


Yeah it's a good thing she wasn't ugly or we wouldn't care.


Even though I ought to be a little creeped out, I quite like that thought. As long as it wasn't in the kitchen!


I'm curious to see if they were actually just doing their job and all these videos were taken out of context. I am so tired of people blaming officers for doing their fucking job. Not saying they don't do stupid or wrong stuff, but a lot of the stuff against them these days is bullshit too.


My favourite bit is when he compliments it and says that it's so well done.


Fuck that. This thread contributes nothing in the way of relevant discussion. It represents a view so backward and so fundamentally wrong that there is nothing to be gained by participating.

EDIT: Really, reddit? -59 karma for denouncing the intellectual merit of a thread about white supremacy ("separatism")? seriously? wow


My friend told me. EDIT: Here are some pictures my friend took while working on the video. He had to build the barrel basses and set up/tune/constantly restring the guitars.  http://i.imgur.com/gs7Hb.jpg  http://i.imgur.com/2YRpY.jpg  http://i.imgur.com/mSt0s.jpg


This is not good Ye. This shit's garbage.


For some reason the magic bedtime teleportation portal stopped working as I grew older.


You finding a cure would cut thousands of jobs and destroy cancer research as a business.

Cancer can never be cured, for economic reasons.


So simple, yet it has the potential to HORRIFY


are you seriously recommending that someone who was just able to do 10 pushups and cannot do any situps start doing squats and deadlifts?

go to dictionary.com and look up the word "progression"

Go on. Get to it.


Without asking first, what a dick.


Yeah go ahead and downvote me bad players.


Star-bellied sneetches? More like my High-school teachers.


Yeah what the fuck? Wasn't expecting an /r/television post to make my heart catch in my throat.


It's funnier with emphasis: That boy is gonna rape *that* shit out of *that* inmate.
Edit: well something whooshed over my head. Sorry Reddit.


July in Texas. I could grow rice.


I gotta tell you bro, that was NOT a hit for good reasons. It's not funny enough, is the first reason.

Edit: The second reason is that you went all Time Magazine on his picture...


No its not my real name.


yes, if by paintball you mean "suck the dick"


.8*.95=.76

It checks out.


I got something hard for that new body


I think going to Denny's would negatively affect your ability to enjoy your meal.


The "just of the matter"?  Are you seriously that stupid?

Edit: I'll take that as a 'yes'. Go ask your mom for help with your words.

Edit 2: Also, I see that you don't know the difference between 'then' and 'than'.  What a fucking moron.


It's because they're already home, right?


Then you wouldn't want to meet me... Mwahahahahaha


Seven facebook comments and she didn't even give me a handjob. Nice guys sure do finish last.


Well nothing to see here considering riots brain dead balancing team.


> I really don't think so.

&#3232;\_&#3232;


Oh that, that's just school for you. Also hormone.


So if we started a "Back to school" store that filled in the same places that the "Halloween stores" do, We would only have to operate a store front for 2-4 weeks a year? **Scratches non-existent beard**


The Scandinavians are making a passing go of it. Oh and if you bother to research, even though the Swedish government has a nuclear phaseout program, it's not backed by the general population. And I don't think it was ever demanded by them either. The "referendum" on the question had two options "phase out nuclear" and "phase out nuclear".


Submarine crew: mayday, mayday! We are sinking!

German voice answers: hello?

Submarine crew: we are sinking!

German voice answers: ehh.. what are you sinking about?

Edit 1: I would always laugh when I saw this commercial. Thanks to all you guys who linked the video! I recommend watching it for anyone looking for a giggle.
Edit 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gmOTpIVxji8


It would be great if only one of these middle posts got thousands of upvotes and the rest had 3 or 4.


yes

*anything else*

that's all that's all that's all stop writing mom I just said yes


It is to protect the children you dumbass.


Wait what what? "Wait what, there's a sprint button in Skyrim??" or "Wait what, how are you such a clueless wiener?"


BWAAA BWAAA BWAAAA WAAAAAAAHHHH WAAAHHHH BWWAAAAAA


My friend owns a shetland sheepdog who always tries to corral people to sit closer together at the house. It drives it nuts when we sit at opposite ends of the room.


LMAO fucking retard. The comment I replied too has been overused way more, and it's a lot less funny and a lot less relevant, I just replied to make fun of HIM. FUCKING IDIOT. IDIOT.


Interrupting a blowjob, in any context, is not bro behaviour.


There was some other rainbow cartoon thing recently with the same tag line, which reminded me to get off my ass and make this gif.


"Mirror, mirror on the wall, is my dick really that small?"


They do not hate him. They hate his Socialist policies. He's actually a nice, misguided, person who was raised by an ignoramus. It's not his fault. He's very likeable ... he just had the misfortune to have a whore for a mother and an absent black father. Not unlike the experience of most African-Americans today. We don't hate him.

*We pity him.*


isnt there an interview with some (video game ?) deveolper and he just starts smashing his keyboard while in hackertyper and almost (?) fools the interviewers ?

link to gif, couldnt find the video:
http://i.imgur.com/lz7hOlC.jpg


"Free" You'll give up your mailing address for a free pen... go to IKEA and steal some pencils, man.


before the big bang never existed, but it had to, but it can't, but it had to, and so on...


Yeah, cause they broke the law.

No need to shed a tear for criminals. Especially those that deal in crimes that fund narcoterrorism.


They didn't say anything because they probably took the offer.


You guessed absolutely right.


LOL! What an idiot.


"Betty White dies, immortality discovered"


If that were the case, we wouldn't have stayed together for over 9 months, but nice try. If his main goal was to buy me drinks in order to have sex with me, he would have left after we did it.


No worries, dodged a bullet.


r/trees IS a web site. It's also a subreddit. Are these not both true? What part of Trees makes it not a web site I'm curious? Is it because it's also part of reddit? Are there no web sites that are not part of a bigger web site, sir?


This is like the best reason to leave a show


I hope you and your cousin are very happy with your marriage.


*Looks at random women*
SNAP PICTURE...
PUT PICTURE IN FOLDER 'FOR LATER FAPPING'.

I see that being a problem.


No, you'll be voting for the one who's closer to your Bolshevik ideas. Good times for you, both major US parties are controlled by Big Government freaks.


Drank em all. Can confirm, am dead.


I was always curious if anything fishy was happening. I'd never met a single Republican who supported Romney until **Derp** was **le** last one standing.

 xDDDD lmao


When you're with me, baby, you only need two minutes.


When you see a misogynist cunt please be sure to point it out. We will deal with it lickity split.


If these were any more true, it might explode the universe.


Was it [this one](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXFFSfnSv-k)?


This was the attractive Redditors in Kuwait meet up, yours is next Thursday.


You aren't seeing the actual star. You are seeing the light emitted from the star, after millions of years of travel towards earth.


"Man, how does Sean Bean do it?"


Stop it with the fucking hitler puns. Now before this shit gets upvoted all to hell. Can you find the hitler pun in my statement? Look again.

 Anne Frank was a troll.


Something like 80% of black americans have a below average IQ. Everybody has their own explanation why. Many think it's genetic. This study advances the argument it could be cultural/environmental. Some people think IQ tests are racist. I'm sure at least one person blames it on aliens.


And this hour's award for Being A Pedant goes to..... **cyberspacecowboy**!!!!!!

Edit: I think this may be my most downvoted post ever!


I'll upload it this evening when I get home


Not as bad as cycling and storm


Later on MSNBC: right wing conservatives are goataphobes?


> You turned out to look exactly like I imagined you to be in.

Either I turned into a fucking genius overnight (I mean, moreso), or the collective grammar of this infantile subreddit shit the bed. Christ. I think it's the latter.


I, as well, Mr. Butt.

EDIT: I have been around here for over 2 years. I have commented with funny, witty, thought provoking, helpful, knowledge, and sarcastic lines, and this, THIS, nearly doubles my total Comment Karma.  Reddit, you slimy little bastard.


>and then this site dies

Look, I'm *pretty sure* SRS would be quite happy with reddit dying.


To be fair though, those intros...


If you rely on the attention of people you barely know just to keep you alive, you need more help that any of them can provide, because your priorities in life are seriously fucked.


**Sorry, you're smart now. Common sense prevents you from trying that.**

- **[Pick another option](http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/posi3/crazy_christians_freak_out_in_321/c3r4975)**


plot twist: Kanye is seeing Bruce Jenner secretly.


so i'll swallow sadness?  like a boss?


Or 3/5 of one....


You know he's on the album right? His other alias is "Thundercat"


Well, I am very happy for Mrs. Onama, but let's stay on topic.


>I'd like to have him alone in a room for an hour.

You're supposed to punish him, not pleasure him.


I was in a mental hospital for kids under 18 for about a week due to suicide watch... Some of the self-harming kids would take a pen to their room, crack it open with their teeth, and use the shattered plastic to self-harm. It really is an addiction.


Apparently you don't know that this isn't Tumblr, either.  Down voted for warning about triggers.


To be fair, it reads perfectly as a result.


Nothing wrong with Origin. It's way better than Steam was the first few years. There's a reason why this exists: http://zockerseele.com/wp-content/images/steam_sucks.gif


I disagree...I think it's a wonderful time, because it makes clear that I will never ever touch it again.


ERMAHGERD, THER SERPERERNSER


All proceeds go to fixing reddit search.


she is talking about making a squirting video and you post that you have the same chair?

:wtf:


I would't even give that whore a happy birthday, fuck that.


awkward indeed, you'd think a father who lost her daughter would have a little more emotion


The nip that launched a thousand cums.


I hope English is your second language. Yes it seems mean to cut off their tails.


Don't forget Kierstin.


You are an idiot. This isn't a picture that is meant to convince anyone that these two people are in the same area together. The Asian kid is cut from a picture of him in front of the up sign in a theater. This is just so the viewer can see the two people side by side.


We had a kid who replaced his cars accelerator with a throttle.  I mean an air craft one,  down between the seats.  A fucking throttle.  Interestingly I heard he died in a car crash a while back. Who'd have guessed.


And if you've ever finished Arkham City then you would know that [The Joker died](/spoiler)


"Buy a hospital for 100 billion."

What the hell kind of hospital do you go to that costs that much?

EDIT: Thank you to everyone who felt the need to tell me this is the exact cost of American hospitals, American health insurance or Obamacare. Your jokes are hilariously original and I laughed till I peed all 30 times I read it.


You just cried because some stranger on the internet said "she did" about some chick he probably knew was going to die soon anyway. Grow some balls man.


Don't make an ass out of yourself though


It's a free country. If you don't like it go to the Tunisan version of reddit. Fucking little dick raghead.


Cheap? idk man, you gotta be careful with Catan. I played it with some friends once.
2 years later I'm $800 in the hole with my boardgame collection.

**Boardgames: not even once.**


Communes involve some sort of organization, making anarchists a route to the dissolution of community. Sorry if you are butt hurt, but seriously, are you an anarchist? I doubt it, and if you're interested in communism, then you are not an anarchist, since that's a form of governing organization.

Take your rage elsewhere or contribute to the topic.


I'd wait for the steam sale.


Hahahaha your immature pun made me laugh for all but 2 seconds(it didn't). Killing fish isn't funny they're living creatures just like anything else and they don't deserve to be made into some art project by a psychotic male. How can humans even eat meat for Christs sake anymore ? There are plenty of soy based products that are just as good if not better.


"What are you having for lunch today, bunka77? Wait let me guess... Ham and turkey sandwich, Granola bar, yogurt, string cheese and an apple that you'll save for later.  Like every day.  Don't you get sick of that?"

"If I did, I'd pack something else"


lol, spelt is not a word.


"Sorry sir, someone had been stealing from my desk and I just wanted them caught....and fabulous."


I was waiting for Spiderman to show up the whole time, but it never happened. And Batman and Wolverine never even got into costume. What a rip off.


Smoothest use of a Nintendo I've ever seen.

EDIT: Really? 1000 points? Reddit, I love you but you're fickle.


No she didn't.

She saw a vision of a man with a wolf's head *presiding* over a wedding. Robb didn't preside over edmure's wedding. Or it's not being literal.


The Earth King has invited you to [/r/laogai](/r/laogai)


God dammit, are my thoughts never original? Fuck.


you sound like an ad.


No, revenge is a sign of immaturity.


Croc 1: Hey, fuck off Croc 3, this is *my* story, *I'm* telling it.


Dude that's not okay.


These "" are very suspicious &#3232;\_&#3232;


I don't really want to get into a youtube fight, and I'm gona be kina busy most of the night.

Also, what would I apologize to Xavier about?


Drugs: 9/10

Drugs with rice: 10/10


Fuck you, you circle jerking diva. Sorry I'm not a 9 year old that still watches sponge Bob


We should find an alternative to electricity.

Bring on the steam punk age.

Edit: Obligatory thank you for my second highest rated comment ever. It was really nice to wake up to this on my one day off this week. Have a good one reddit.


`But then I'd have a ```at the end of my comment, and he'd get lonely.`


That was very cool of you to ask.  I have a neighbor that has an extremely loud custom chopper and it rattles windows when he cranks and revs it around 5:00 AM.


He always had 3, sometimes 4 players around him. His midfield did fuck all, same could be said about Benzema or Bale.

It was hardly his fault. He can't just get his way around of 3 great defensive players. Ancelotti is at fault for being as stubborn as a mountain goat.


If there is a hell, that's what's in it. You are strapped to a chair *Clockwork Orange* style and forced to watch some lady "save as" a bunch of files to an external hard drive. And then type in www.google.com and search www.yahoo.com


Hey man, you will totally find "SRS activity" if you look at my posts, so no need to respect my opinion, but I thought I should let you know that you just got *shut down* and *destroyed* by a drunk guy/gal on a pseudo-intelectual internet forum.

[Ouch](http://i.imgur.com/5Ml89.jpg)


>so Manson crammed the guy's dick in his mouth in order not to be embarrassed by a streaker

phew! close call. that could have been **really** awkward.


FUCK YOU APOSTOLATE IM GONA DOWNVOTE UR POSTS FOREVERRRRRR


Ever heard of grapefruiting?


1. Boobs
2. Ability to speak french
3. Your height
4. Money
5. Boobs again.


Don't call him a bastard. That's disrespectful.


Your dad seems like a winner.


Like a swan from the duckling, I have made your comment... *art*

http://i.imgur.com/pCIgi.jpg

...Courtesy of the instant_reddart bot


Sticking your dick in crazy gets you on the front page though...


I don't care about karma. I just want more people seeing the great content that I provide. If I make even one person smile with a link to a children's book then it's all worth it.


Interesting. Elaborate?


You know people can see who creep on their Facebook right?


That must have been code for "we are gay and looking for a threesome". Must have been set up by a troll on craigslist.


Fuck you. That is not the correct way to type сука. Your Latin letters disgust me.

Cyka = Cyka

Сука = Sooka


_If You Are Blinded By My Laser, You Are Too Close_


Congrats. You are today's lucky winner.


The ciiircle of liiiife...


a giant pile of shit is also "natural" but it's also fucking disgusting.


Or your deodorant isn't


we get it Dr Obvious, different people have different opinions. he discussed his, then you added what to the conversation?


This. Regardless of the quality of work of that employee, this isn't how a professional acts. That said it does sound like he belongs at Zynga...


Sorry but you didn't really accomplish something. You just stopped fucking up.


"I'm going to invest in real estate. You can't ever go broke if you own a house."


Asking the important questions!


It's one thing to recognize a players face when you see him on TV and are expecting to see a professional athlete. It would be tougher to recognize an athlete in an environment where you don't expect to see one. Then again Wilfork does sort of...stand out.


If you actually read through I have mentioned that I plan to put in place some boundaries.


You don't like your ribs with a side of sanctity of marriage?


Riven isn't the same as Vayne, so what does that have to do with what happened?

Same player and same action are not the same thing. If he knocked up someone with Riven without hitting them then I would say they are the same.


Oh you know, can't complain.


Facts are facts: Foo Fighters are a much better band than Nirvana ever were.


You misspelled "Here comes Honey Boo Boo".


inded is shit. donvoted.


he's also talking about how he grew a beard before it was cool


He needs to Holla on it!


Let me get a buddy of mine down here who's an expert on ripping people off


Cool story, bro.

Downboted


in other news: Joe Montana and Steve Young both asked to be buried when they die with a Chiefs and Buccaneers Jersey.


If you want fleas go on ahead


I work at a day care and follow the same philosophy

Edit: This is by far the most upvotes I have ever had on anything. [Woo!](http://i.imgur.com/nHpHF.gif)


You *could* care less.


He better sell them soon. They become more obsolete with each passing week.


Hilarious, the usual reply of the idiot PC gamer elitist. Do everyone a favor and shut the fuck up with your worthless comments. You're just jealous that console gamers are enjoying themselves more than you are despite the fact that they're spending more than half than you do on their gaming system.


Shitty_Watercolour's blue period.


Yeah, because Obama's great at diplomacy. Remember when he tried to start a war with Syria, failed and later stood by uselessly as Russia invaded Crimea?  Truly a master of negotiation.


Kansas finally got internet.


Well just repeat the same old bullshit jokes over and over and you'll be sure never to learn anything.


You should have cried out "YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF ITS PRESENCE!!!"


No shit it was intentional. I posted a question on askreddit, it wasn't by accident dummy. Are you talking about this inside joke about cats or whatever the hell is going on?


>Islam is peaceful

Im sick to the teeth of that rhetoric. Islam is as peaceful as its followers that make up the religion.

Edit: For all you idiots that keep mentioning "christianity isn't any better". What the fuck has that got to do with the price of milk? I view christianity as nothing but a different cheek on the same arse.


Is that butthurt i hear?


This evil is unmeasurable...

ಠ‿ಠ


The semester starts in a couple days I could care less how I spell now or whenever I'm on the Internet


I didn't break until the "I get a Christmas card..." part and her age. Thanks for making this grown man cry unexpectedly this morning.  Beautiful story...


Because he's a terrible actor and House has much higher production values than anything he's ever been in.


Make sure to set your status to DANGER on facebook


that's a good catch, considering your...condition.


My home economics teacher filled two garbage cans, one flour and one sugar.

EDIT: Replaced pepper with sugar. I apologize, I'm high.

EDIT 2: Replaced salt with flour. This is embarrassing. I'm still high.


Wow. Find a new thread. Who cares its a dog toy?


you should get into movies, man.


It's a cell phone mirror pic; not a professional DSLR shot photoshoot. NOBODY is going to look 100% with bad angles and bad lighting.


I'm ambidextrous, so I eat, you know, with a fork.


That's disgusting. Shove it elsewhere


You don't think it be like it is, but it do.


Yeah well...it's true, how does it affect you in any way if i decide to afk farm or break vases to go buy the gear i want? if it's possible to do it, i shouldn't do it because i should be playing the game the way you want me to? granted it's pretty boring, but effective, right now there is NO effective way of farming without a team of people helping you out.


I've been selling flower and bear arrangements illegally in oz...we made it 8 hours before we were told to leave or get fined $550 :(


hey fuck you im Canadian


Shhh... It's okay...

I good doctor...


Did you watch the same movie?

*I know people that didn't "get" shutter Island.  Not a stretch to think some people didn't either.


I don't know, I thought your mom's vagina was alright.


I know your trying to be funny but being smug really doesn't help our position. All it does is make people reject rational arguments we present out of spite.


That is the Kurds whey.


He doesn't even try to hold his breath or anything. He's clearly just breathing heavily with his eye closed on the floor.


I bet she's not into yoga.


If you blatantly whip out your penis to pee in a public place you deserve to be a registered sex ofender. (im not saying this is what the guy did im just describing an example)


I'd call it stupid.  he died, they lived.  He could have lived.


Why was she even in Staples if she has a home printer? :L


It is what it is. I'll take my downvotes for being too accurate. It's just a lesson to never post in a karmabait thread.


I do the same thing but I sit down and cry


Your not a special snowflake. If something is too difficult deload, or find an alternative to build up strength.


They can't outright ask you if you're Mormon, so they ask what ward you're from since that's technically asking you a question about geography.  Your answer and where you take the conversation next reveals all they need to know about your religious status, which is what they really care about.  This is such common knowledge in Utah that I'm surprised nobody has mentioned this already.


hung himself*

Wtf is hanged

Edit: Ok you guys can stop the downvotes now. I was corrected and learned, but I'm not going to be one of those assholes that deletes his comment.


This happened to me. My mistake was falling in love with someone who didn't know what love was


Careful. Colts fans are all about the feels. They'll down vote you if you don't suck the Jim Irsay teet.


"First time and I'm shy, be nice, here's my asshole gaped open;)"


u realise people do this while in queue for the next game. so ur whole "LOL IM SUCH AB USY PERSON I DONT HAVE TIME TO WASTE ON THIS XDD IM SO COOL LOOK AT ME IM BUSY LOL IM BUSY LOOK AT ME" attitude is invalid.


But he can easily be tricked into giving up his Nespresso™ - What Else?


What I want to know is: did he pay for two tickets? Or did he drop the pretence a moment and say 'Dude it's juts a doll! I ain't payin' no extra $27.50!'


Can we confirm that she dose in fact have lady parts only? We dont want any confusing mix-ups like last time!


Well obviously V is nicer, but not by 10 years.


Holy shit. Sometimes CSI isn't bullshit.


I wish life had more Harry Potter references in general.


Girls can't produce their own body heat. They are like parasites, heat stealing parasites. Their weapon of choice you ask? Those freezing toes.

Edit: I do believe this is my highest karma'd comment... My gf will be thrilled


I didn't profit from it. I didn't spread it. I have no responsibility. Op put forth effort to spread it rather than putting forth the effort to collect evidence.


"I need your clothes, your boots, and your Boris bike"


yeah i'm not discussing about the validity or lack thereof of TRP -- i'm just pointing out your hypocrisy.


For someone asking for respect to personal life styles you sure like to use derogatory terms like "meat eaters". People like you give vegetarians a bad rep


Ugh. I hate these people. It's like they're going to wake up tomorrow with six pack abs, like "What do I do with all these muscles???".

*It doesn't work like that!*


How come you're a 5.5/10 and your girl is a 3/10?


She, on the other hand, wants to wash her hands of you.


Had to be a Latin last name, hmm?

EDIT: Looking at the GIF again, it does have 'senorgif.com' in the bottom right. While there's a very good chance it was casual racism that lead the last name Rodriguez to pop into tetherin's head in association with a robbery, it's also possible that it was lexical priming from seeing 'senor'. Muddies the issue considerably.


praise allah then I suppose


No...its not. That's exactly the point and shows how stupid he really is.


Don't forget the Yankees.


lologasm @ SarCasm!! :))))))))))))


lyk dis if you crey evrytime


Because you did...
-64 downvotes, Jesus you guys are stuck up lol


I think it is because when one is younger shorter amounts of time represent a larger portion of one's entire life.  For a 5 year old one summer is 5% of their total life while for a 10 year old one summer is only 2.5%.


looks like you never met a kid...

when you have kids, you tend to value the kid more than a dog or a cat... they are animals. Humans >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>animals


This is a routine male sanitation check.


Nice job getting kicked out of Eton because you take the faggiest drug out there.

EDIT: 23 downvotes in under 7 minutes, great job.


"I'll just cross my arms and bend forward slightly. I bet they can hardly tell."


hahha saw the naive little brazilian tweet, hilarious comment


I see a set of balls though.


Fuck freshman!

Edit: a joke is a joke and should be taken as that much. I'm sorry I offended anyone but it's just a joke. I meant nothing more.


People seem to think retail is an environment where haggling is acceptable. Gone are the days of the independent shop owners...


thank you captain obvious


Jesus.

People in the retail industry deserve medals for patience, I swear.


ive fuked furries before uj jelly of me


noob professors holding him back. he deserves bucklers degree gg


Laugh at these people all you want, but they're no different than homosexuals. They just chose a different fetish to creep us out with.


Have a mental image of a fetus giving a thumbs up and saying "YEAH!"


SNL relies way to much political satire.

Most people want to tune in to forget about what's going on for a
while...not constantly be reminded of it.


If you keep watching he does it again!


Whoa.  TIL Sasha Grey used to be a porn star...


So did I, plus I went to a real university as well.


Gotta say, she looks more like two 39-year-olds than a 49-year-old.


Shoot? I just use my rabbit call, then bop them on the head with a spoon.

Edit: I spell good.


Where is the logic? Please provide a syllogism detailing your premises and conclusion, or else do not use that word.


I pretty much always refer to black people as black people/person. 99% of the time I'm called a white person,  not Caucasian or American. And I'm 100% ok with that. It only seems fair to me. I don't mean it to be disrespectful at all.


A lot *now* but in the long run it'll be nothing.

fucking idiot.


That's when you call them out and threaten to tell/show their parents. Bonus points if you make them cry.

EDIT: It's the only way they'll learn.


False.  Squirrels are wild animals, not pets.  Once he reaches maturity, he will not be a wonderful companion.  He will do just fine on his own if properly released into the wild.


Can I have your mother?


ohhhh 25k, damn, breaking the bank right there


Woah you just blew my mind. It wasn't until the Bronze age that people even had the sharp enough tools to cut their hair and shave their face/body...

The first guy to make a sharp enough tool probably was considered the first metrosexual.


This made me laugh out loud. Thanks for that.


OH MY GOD I'M SO JEALOUS!


You're going to get cops, lawyers, judges and all that shit involved over soda? Yeah it's a dick move, but guess what, the world has dicks. And sometimes those dicks fuck pussies like you. Just get over it, laugh about it, move on.


Yep. My mom's made several comments, I'm sure she knows by now. But I'm scared about my dad finding out. And I know grandparents will never know


Don't stop believing....


Probably dropped a Mentos.


I promise I'm not fumyl. :)


"Four and half minutes of devastating honesty, with Lamar almost sobbing over a discordant beat, berating himself about his lack of confidence and calling himself "a fucking failure"" from the Rolling Stone article.

EDIT: [The article.](http://imgur.com/jxLWJhQ,TtyC7YB,KoWNnCx,1BOaKoN)


I stopped watching Judge Judy when she used the n-word like five times in one case. I had no idea that old lady was so damn racist.


But you realize you have them both, and that sinking feeling is actually your boat capsizing.


this is really interesting

[TIL What kind of sleeper are you?](http://goo.gl/JDAj)


I had to do a double-take after thinking "now what the fuck is a potato retoucher?"


Most of those were in the first half.


It's just horrible formatting?


Why, because he's a pedophile?  He just saved his life, idiot.  So even then that probably deserves at least a handjob.


I'm totally okay with doing **that** for love.


It was a typo. Im pumped it spoke to you


The ironic part of it is *paying* the prostitue makes it illegal....


Her stunt double did jump out of a helicopter.


Ooooooh, so those signs are supposed to say GOD HATES *FIGS*?

That makes way more sense.


Someone who enjoys anal rape as much as you do.....

Never mind, I got nothing. I feel dumber from reading your comment.


Pfft! I know lots of 4th graders that can multiply by 2.2.


She's fairly unattractive, too. Ruins the image.


"All this happened, more or less."

Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut


The only difference between an intelligent woman and a dumb one is her ego. Why not take the easy route if both are equally attractive?


That song was actually stupid on purpose. Nicki Minaj made it to prove to Lil Kim she could write the worst song ever and it would still be more popular and relevant than anything Lil Kim could do. And it worked.

Hilarious. I hate the song but I love the back-story.


Watch shroud spraying in a lan match from dust2 mid to palm tree, see him whiff hard and miss the kill, realize he is average at best within pro scene. Fin.  Let the downvotes begin :D


That's my kind of wedding. I'd probably shell out a few extra bucks for an Elvis costume though.


You're daughter is fucking ugly. Just like you.


It is safe. The height isn't what kills you, it's the ground, the further you are from the ground the safer you are


Economic status has more to do with it than race.  But when black people do bad things, rest assured people like you will be there to make these comments.

Edit: my karma is only proof that if you get enough bigots in one place, they'll announce themselves.  Nothing more.


"Am I attractive" guy looks like he could play a superhero


First world problems.


I used to have this curse each morning, it would split and go 30 degrees in each direction though.

I found the cure to be simply squeezing the head of my penis so the opening would not be squished, thus the pee would not go to the windows, to the walls, the piss wouldn't drips down my balls.


We're talking about music here, not that.


Welcome to my Top comments!


Yes, thank you. Throwaways being made to respond negatively here :/, I don't understand peoples.


You know.. Maybe that barista at Starbucks could develop their skills a little more if they didn't have a constant flow of hipsters that believe the world revolves around them.

Just because their not putting on a show doesn't mean they're not working for their tips.

Edit: Jesus. I just wanted to give some props to the Starbucks employees.


TIL jumping from cliffs isn't 100% safe


Symantec antivirus is a very solid product, and its speed has improved dramatically.


20 years later at a job interview:

"Elsa, that's a beautiful name.  Were your parents born in Sweden?"

"No....Orange County......"


Really? I didn't realise 3 year olds could walk on their own.


* 1) That you dont need to be a muslim to commit an act of terror
* 2) That the extreme right can be very dangerous
* 3) Not going all police state crazy (like USA) due to an act of terror
* 4) When someone calls 911 and says they are being shot at, you dont dismiss it as a joke

Im sure you and others can come up with several other things


Only enough to warn others not to waste their time.


She doesn't really seem like a keeper if she can't handle a good ol' fashioned potato joke.


It was ok I just like saying that to piss off the geeks


He . . . wore fake glasses when he needs real ones?

My mind is full of what.


doesn't matter. she was religious. she deserves it


I don't think we are making ourselves clear enough. **YOU ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD WHO PUTS HIS BALLS IN THE URINAL!**

Nobody else does that. They are **NOT** made for that. It is pretty weird, and kinda disgusting.


you trapped him.  how sad.


Just tell them this awesome story one day.


I have a real job, I just haven't been working a lot of hours lately.


Norman Reedus was the single most charming person I met at Comic Con. Shook my hand, looked me straight in the eyes, and asked me how I was. There were so many people around, but all his attention was on me, for that moment. Well done, Norman Reedus. Well done.


This was some pretty niggerish behavior to begin with.


Sounds like one of those asian lady compliments.


For some reason I have you tagged as 'fanboi with no sense of humor and tight panties', so we must have had an encounter at some point.


"Am I even pregnant? fuck it"


you're post-pubescent, so yes you can be shit bird


the real question is who the fuck cares


>(I kid)

Isn't this subreddit 18+?

Are you telling me that people lie on the internet?


I'm sure you'll be fine. It's hard to smile when you're in Russia.


Labs are probably the stupidest of dogs tbh, your must be an exception


First there was Twitch Plays Pokemon...

Get ready for *Reddit Plays Life Support*!


Shhh, don't mess with the circle jerk!

According to reddit, there's nothing wrong with homosexual marriages, they can ADOPT children!

And don't ask where the adopted children came from, gay marriage works in mysterious ways!


That's not true. I've seen the president do it, and he does it better.


Elderly mother: Medicaid or Medicare since she would -most likely- be eligible for either.

I can't offer insight on state by state sponsored care.


"Introducing the world's best solution to yellow teeth: Go Hang Yourself! Recommended by dentists."


I now trust it a whole lot more.


ho-ley-shit I'm a summer intern and I do nothing but browse reddit all day and I know for a fact my boss is a redditor.

My heart was all a flutter until I got to "he". I've never been more grateful to have a vagina.


Came here to say this. Have an upvote.


Listen, I'm going to send you $7 for delighting me with this story.


yeah i'm on the floor rolling while laughing


Smooth talked them like Barry White. Works on all species. ;)


>Super Mutants are very important to the Fallout world.

No, they're not.

EDIT: I swear you guys are utter and complete fucking morons.


This game should be renamed "ways to get arrested in an airport."


OMG POOR MKP HE'S ALWAYS THE VICTIM!!!


... :( That is so sad it makes my heart hurt. Men are gorgeous and wonderful and sexy and straight women love looking at them and find them incredibly sexually desirable. It is so tragic that there is such a disconnect.


Stop complaining about people who believe in euphoria but do not call themselves too minds, and start complaining about the people who call themselves top minds but do not believe in euphoria.


They saw a black man in their neighborhood and got scared.  :(


He aimed low and put his shoulder intoo Wilsons chest.  He didn't spear the helmet and I don't think he aimed for it.


Fuck yeah dude, we need more people that are honest as you.


totes

  edit: -64 pts... impressive!


Alternatively...

"Don't be a smartass. I don't care how you do it, but you better come prepared to participate in this class or come prepared to have your grade lowered."


Fuck the rules, justice is where it's at. It's like saying the nazis should have killed the jews cus it was the "rules"


Sounds about right for a public employee


SO....

the question you are responding to is "does it make the white player unbeatable"

and you decided to answer with a description of what the move was instead ?


I am so simultaneously insulted and yet entertained...


For her age 1-5 different partners


Those ladies are beautiful. Perhaps I'll be friendzoned by a lady like that someday.


doesn't count as rape if she's asking for the penis ("she said I want your penis right now, please whip it out"). Happened to me 4 months ago.


And how is little Gertrude/Virginia/Maude today?


Your vocabulary seems to be suffering from too much reddit. Try coming up with your own "insults" ;)


I got a fear boner.


Its cheaper, man. Its over half the cost of a phone because you can use your pre existing voip or even skype to make all your calls, why not in gmail? or use the countless web based texting services offered by phone providers and have people reply to your email?


And the, "Dude.  Calm down."


I got one, how bout "smh niggas be fakin on the gram"


>I love you.

>I know.

*dramatic music plays as Zhang is lowered into the carbon-freezing chamber*


I would beg to differ.  I'm as healthy as a horse.


http://imgur.com/mHZgV

www.shittywatercolour.com


I'm gay, and I'm not trans, and not a radfem. lmao u r so wrong it's just funny.

and body parts don't have sex or gender. hope that helps.


I'm frustrated even reading that. Going through it would have made me blown a blood vessel or something. The incompetence and lack of logic is absurd.


Technically it's an anniversary. Idiot.


Well at least they're trying which is a pretty damn good start for most companies.


They're explicitly NOT a downvote brigade, nor are they an outside entity. We're just a group of people pointing out the shitty things that get upvoted a lot. Oh and mocking these shitty things people say. Its a way of dealing with the shit. If reddit had less shit, there'd be less for SRS to point out.


or made the entire thing up. Either of these


What are you talking about? Women still do all that crap that was in those pictures - only in skimpier clothing. Best thing women's rights brought us: Women acting more like whores for us while thinking it makes them 'liberated'.


Your offensive coordinator?


Upvote for "shits and giggles" hahahahaha


That kid fell right into the trap.


> nah nigga nah, dis shit be what they asses do all the time nigga, dont even trip.

NT4U.


your teacher was insane


If I could say one thing to my novelty account I'd probably say [i'm never gonna give you up](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0&feature=youtube_gdata_player)


If that's a rental property, they can sue the owner for not installing a proper front door. It looks like they used an inside door as a front door. At least that's what I heard from the cops in NY.


Damn. All I play in is 3rd POV. Hate FPs shooters and many mmorpgers hate it as well.

Oh well, be back when they change it back. Then off again, then on, then off...wtf Garry grow a pair


False. It's a huge PR stunt to show that he's down to earth!.....oh wait....this isn't American politics


it´s worth about as much as the life of a starving african kid. I see noone wearing shirts to remember them.

I guess you have to be at least a decent athlete to earn that.

oh the hypocrisy...


Would've blown my load too.


I would assume that people don't choose a STEM degree because they want to be homeless when they graduate. If you know anything about jobs, work experience will get you farther than grades.  College is for an education, but an underwater basketweaving degree is not going to help after someone  graduates.


The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port.


clearly you are not a true Ent my friend. speak slower.


Pulp Fiction would have had all the nominations for the best quote category in its year. Just a matter of which quote would have won.

"Shit negro, that's all you had to say."


Why are people posting pics of their grandparents? Has reddit really become that irrelevant? Does anyone actually give a shit?


but their hamburgers are sooooo good.


>I can't see this lasting more than a few months at the absolute longest.

You know that statement is true because of cheaters like you.


/r/justneckbeardthings turned into a subreddit to bully people? Who would have guessed.


I'm not even mad. Didn't bet anything.


Habit I acquired after years of posting on message boards and whatnot.  I find if you press enter for every "break" in natural speech, it ends up less of a wall of text and people are more likely to read it.


WOW I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT CLIP BEFORE THANKS BY THE WAY HAVE YOU SEEN ANY OF THOES FUNNY CAT PICTURES ???


I'm 21 years old and still want to be a dinosaur.


Le sigh, if only I could afford one! Seattle isn't a cheap place to live in unfortunately.


I have an emergency set with me :)

http://i.imgur.com/cTwgU.jpg


And people wonder why girls assume gender roles growing up, because their heads are filled with fairy tales of being "princesses".


And yet whenever you say you're going to New Hampshire, New York, New Jersey, or even New England, no one ever asks why you're going to Great Britain.


butthurt fanboy faggot?


the trick is you touch the homeless man's penis and then he gets all offended and runs away (unless he's the homeless man who stands on the corner of a street near where I live, he only has one leg so he can't run away)


Creepy around kids in the restaurant we work at


This actually applies to women too.


Learn to read you goddamn ape


Prepare to feel all 23 flavors **of pain**!


Holy shit, a real Japanese apologist. Can I take your picture?


>3/5

I found this funny.


Hopefully.

BTW, it was Christians who were burned/killed in the 1st century.


I would just marry the mom at this point


There are times besides on the court.

Refugee camp, post hurricane evacuation pics, going to the laundry room to pick up clothes, cooking eggs for breakfast.


I can respect a multitasker.


people like you make me sick.  you literally don't deserve to be alive.


Holywood is a town in Northern Ireland - he could just have moved there and become its mayor.

(I'm unclear on the criteria for selecting mayors, but foot tattoos must be worth some points)


b&

edit: I didn't actually ban him ya dummies


Yes!  Several.  I went to his first ever concert in Queens which had an audience of about 50 people.  I was so proud of him that I was beaming from ear to ear.


He should feel bad for making a bad post.


Some say that if you ignite the 4 torches around the statue at midnight, something might happen.


You should screen shot me failing and get some Karma with it.. hehehehe.


He was a great dad. Just kidding. Actually, in researching Charles Dickens, he also had a passion for magic - and performed magic shows for his friends.


Me_bender is being upvoted for being an insincere hypocrite and I'm being downvoted for being brutally honest. And yes, I'm hilarious at parties, nice cliche reddit comment, enjoy your 100 upvotes when this thread gets popular enough to hit the front page.


No because helium isn't lighter than helium.


so you'll tell your colloquial story, and then you'll contextualise your story?


>now i feel disappointed either.

This is beautiful.


Big women need loving too.


The batsign was also a golden opportunity for Batman to lap up some sweet sweet karma.


oh i can take it, can't you see how much fun i'm having commenting back? i was bored and knew this would keep me entertained ;]


did waterboarding your dogs lead to any actionable intelligence?


I used to steal dildos, but then I took a dildo to the face!


I think the real saddnes here is that the manager would still allow someone to play after this!


Wow, I'm 25 and just needed a job for the summer.  I had to look super hard for about one hour before I found one that paid $8.50/hr. It's right across the street from my apartment complex.  It's not my fault you live in the middle of nowhere.


And that, kids, is how I met your mother.


Everyone has their own opinion...


I renamed firefox.exe to "Half-Life 3 Beta" every now and then I get a torrent of messages of people asking "how is it, how the fuck did you get it"


And Salo will think twice before stepping on the ice with guys that can actually take a hit - dirty or not.


>Do not attempt. controlled enviroment.

Who would even think to attempt to recreate that?


pretty sad for the 85% who are happy with their current insurance and don't want what is being proposed or pretty sad for the 15% who are too lazy?


Horse cops a feel. Reddit approves.


>You easily lied about what happened about you getting banned. I

THEY WERE YOUR WORDS! I POSTED THEM FOR THE WORLD TO SEE!


You should have put your Voodoo2 to sleep a long time ago. And you know it! Graphics Cards are like Mr. Meeseeks, they get a weird feeling if you keep them around for too long.


It's the bell peppers.


You think that voting has anything to do with freedom? Are you fucking kidding me?


I prefer when the lawyer asks him the same question and Ron responds, "I knew I had nothing to fear from you."


I used to be a DEA agent, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


"You're so tall, do you play basketball?" Said everyone that's ever met me.


Plebs. We used to chuck milk cartons over the cafeteria to hit the little shits. Then they'd come around tryna see who it was and get five more.


I will leave a note for him now. "I'm telling you, face down-ass up is the best way to wash these dishes. XO"


She was in 7th grade.  When she was in 7th grade, 7th graders weren't drinking and having sex like they do now.  Think about it.  A 12 year old bringing vodka to school.  That should come as much more of a surprise than a high school student doing it.  If it doesn't then there is something wrong.


Anti depressant and works against some form of cancer, or so i heard.


TIL women are different than men =]


Oh exam, how could I ever live without you by my side?


Maybe because what he said equates to "If you're stupid, you deserve to go to prison".

I'm I'll get downvoted though, Reddit hates hearing translations of what things really mean.


Fuck any piece of shit sore loser who does this.


Only my sweethearts, darling.


No wait, don't leave. Where are you going? We were just starting to have a good time.


Biphobia is an issue of concern, as well, and my apologies for not making that more clear. If you are willing to post here or send a mod mail explaining your situation, I would love to hear your input and specific concerns.


Yeah, it's basically a digital Polaroid. I don't see what's so bad about that.

"OMG you want to have a physical copy of your pictures??? You're such a hipster lol"


A sniper, is, the, fucking, operator. Not the fucking gun.


*Tuesdays with Pillow: A Biography*


Yes, it *semens* very peaceful.


While uploading pictures to google street view!


If those things are known, then shouldn't pregnancy be an accepted risk if two people consent to having sex?

It's baffling to me. Like people are confused as to what happened. "I participated in human mating and now she's *pregnant!?* How completely unexpected!"


Guaranteed that he either just got out of jail/prison or went from having no food to having more than a little money, so he treated himself.  I've been in the latter situation, and some friends in the former, can confirm that it is possible for someone to dominate shit like that when they haven't eaten, or haven't been able to eat a good meal in a while.


Stop lying, no one has ever wanted to have sex with you.
Faggot.


I know this is incredibly irrelevant, but I covered my arm with honey one time and my friends and I licked it off. It tickled.


Aren't people funny about it though? I would give it a try if there were less criticism about such things.


>Deeper

I think she wants you to recite her some poems.


there isnt any link because it didnt happen


And I'm calling you captain obvious.


50 shades of.... Inappropriate jokes.


The Office, SNL, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, potential boyfriends from across the room...


The GTX G1 is your friend bro.


Damn...that Hitler youth looks good


Had to Bing that to get the reference...got to start watching that Thrones show...


Honestly, if I was to find a Bourne-esque quote from his post, it probably would have been:

> I made a leap of faith for a branch probably about 4-5 feet away from the window.

not

>So, I put the interior latch on the bathroom door

But hey, whatever floats your boat!


3 marijuanas per 10k downvotes.


TIL Ramsay Bolton does music


I heard a pretty crazy theory that the Malaysian flight shot over ukraine was actually MH370. there were pictures matching pics of the crashed plane parts to pics of MH370 and it was super similar. pretty suspect.

EDIT: 2 downvotes in less than 30 seconds? lol just sharing what I read over in r/conspiracy.


20-29

**Edit: for fuck's sake, people.  find your age, and upvote it.  at the time of this edit there are +25 replies to this comment.  there should be exactly 10 replies.**


2000 dead palestinian civillians in the last ten years in israel is not genocide

however, 68,000 dead iraqi civilians since the start of the iraqi war is, no?

and btw, reddit does cross the line and enter the realm of actual anti-semitism.. it is a real occurrence on reddit..


whiskey.  on the *rocks*.

^I'll ^see ^myself ^out


I most certainly meant destructive. Surgery is still primitive, dangerous, and we so very far from providing the incredible coherence of the organic systems.


We just ruined this guy's day.


Oh no! They can't make money off of content they don't own! How ever will they survive!?


OH MY GOD BUT SERIOUSLY THE DISH IS EMPTY WHAT IS HAPPENING IT WAS BREAKFAST LIKE *TWO HOURS AGO* THIS IS LEGITIMATELY UPSETTING TO ME AND PRESENTLY I AM GOING TO WALK ON YOUR FACE BECAUSE IT IS BREAKFAST TIME AND YOU SERIOUSLY CAN'T FATHOM THE DEPTHS OF MY HUNGER SO YOU BETTER GET UP AND PUT SOME CRUNCHY BROWN PELLETS IN THERE RIGHT FUCKING MEOW OR YOU WON'T LIKE WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXT


bad edit.

Edit: Been here for 1 year and this is the first time i'm mentioned in a comment. Thanks kind /u/Homer69!

Edit2: Wow! I did not expect this to blow down this much! Thanks guys!


10/10 Would read 2 more times.


Thanks for your constructive and informed opinion on a convoluted issue in which you refer to black people as 'animals'


Yes, Rodney created most of the modern flip tricks that we all take for granted. He was also the first person to do on ollie on the flatground.

I skate almost every day. If not at home, then at my vart ramp. Here is my most recent video part:

http://youtu.be/MDsLyLXLxeQ


Phew. Better get rid of the gays then. And them religious fundies.


Oh, come on! Just one more time! After that you will never have to do it again!


Massively organized corruption in the biggest entertainment industry in the world is the exact opposite of inconsequential.


Do you get to choose the voice? I would love for Morgan Freeman to read 4chan for me, or George W Bush to read /r/atheism.


I guess it would help if I knew who he was.  'The mind behind Fable' means nothing when I have never played Fable, and Fable has had no impact on the gaming culture.


Step 1. Find that friend

Step 2. Tell her your dragon is still hungry

Step 3. Finish the game


I don't think an exoskeletons move. I had just left him alone for 5 minutes. I don't think he shed his exoskeleton and ran away.


was this before schools started teaching kids about not talking to strangers?


taco bells there stopped selling the dorito's locos tacos


The part that I left out is that immediately after this, she started singing "never gonna give you up"

Unfortunately she had to stop because of a DMCA takedown notice.


Damn I was gonna say that


Sorry to one-up you but I graduated college ONE YEAR AGO. Upvotes to the left


Then he transformed into a Lion!


I am a courtesy clerk at a grocery store. Not sure if people know what this is... But it's shitty as fuck. I clean the break room. Me. Help.


Why does this fact matter? You've already made up your mind about Gandhi.  Believe what *you want about him, there's no mountain of evidence that would convince you otherwise because the lens through which you view the world excludes scenarios where such "tests of celibacy" are NOT just the excuse of some horny old bastard trying to get it on.

*edit: your->you


I kept her fucked while she was gone, don't worry.


It only works if there are people watching.


Look at the comment I did for ninja 36036.


> Last thing I need is to lose an Xbox or something

Nah, I hear they're pretty reliable. My third one was almost unstoppable.


I carry at least one razor blade with me everywhere I go, and last year I got bored and Po'd at a teacher and carved the biggest, most detailed penis into the outside wall of one of the cafeteria bathroom stalls. Fucking awesome. I wish I took a picture.


Quality /r/pics material right here.

Edit:  since this comment is getting some attention, I'll plug /r/pic for quality posts, and /r/no_sob_story for making fun of this kind of shit.


Bahahahaha the Cowboys suck!


>we received strange looks in Paris and how restaurants gave us poor service

I can assure you that this had nothing to do with the sexual orientation of your parents...


I think it's impressive how the basic ai of cockroaches in half-life 1 are smarter then the enemies in cod and many other more recent shooters... Well maybe not impressive, more like mind crushingly disappointing.


No thank god.

I was actually asleep. They entered my home (without a warrant) and woke me up. Guns in my face. I was so shaken it took me about 20 minutes to ask to see credentials.

Really it'd be easier if he died. People would understand why I was sad and upset. He left and never came home, ya know?


Meh, shotguns aren't loud.

Edit: Downvoters have obviously not fired shotguns and guns that are actually loud.


>I honestly have no fucking idea what you just said

http://imgur.com/QHPwq.jpg


Should I also prove that your silly god doesn't exist?


He aint heavy, he's my brother


Seriously.  You could find a perfectly good black kid in the USA (or wherever your home country is). Why outsource it?


He offered his honor.
She honored his offer.
And all night long
He was on her and off her.


This man(or woman) right here. Give him your fucking upvotes.


As someone who works in the IT field I can confirm this. At first, I was like "Damn, I just google everything.I suck". But then I realized I wasn't just googling stuff. I was **learning** from google. Now I don't feel so bad.


who says dope anymore rofl

dat musics dank af


And yes we damn well know that getting Madagascar infected is harder than the other places.


No, fuck you.  Let me explain how it works in America.

> Hi, what can I get you
> Coke please
> Sure, what kind, and small or large
> Large Dr. Pepper please

That's how you order drinks in America.  Except maybe in New England, but they're just a bunch of fucking Eurodouche wannabes anyway.


Well, he's 90, the problem will solve itself sooner rather than later.

And then someone else probably as bad as him will step in, I'm sure.


There's nothing more beautiful than racism, huh?


Say hi to Stardust over at Live Jasmine for me


this... maybe a thing.


No no. If it's a legitimate rapeublican letter, the post office would just shut it down and reject it.


No shit captain obvious... [](/sadtroll)
He has edited his one, i was just correcting him, but everyone can't see he has edited it. JFYI [](/rtroll "YOU ALL SUCK, REDDIT FAGS")


AMA request: Ellen

I did my part.


Audience rating means absolutely nothing. It will be skewed high with circlejerk.


That was you wasn't it?


Only … there's no edit. &#3232;\_&#3232;


Fine for marriage too. No visits by the mother in law


woah! ur one of the oldest people ive seen on reddit! props!
also, im sorry but maybe u could try to give him head more than once a week :)


I was an english major, too! & now I am the most eloquent and grammatically correct bartender you'd ever meet!


Yeah its still not funny though.


English and Wiseauese


Then your opinion and comment is unnecessary. Bye!  😉


Ty 'n Nye the Science Guys!

Ty! Nye! Ty! Nye! Ty! Nye! Ty! Nye!

Ty 'n Nye the Science Guys!


Obese masters trash. Good luck marrying your hideous fiance. The slut will dump your disgusting, worthless, moronic ass in a few years and I'll laugh as your life crumbles.


Better call Math Police.


Well, I'm getting a lot of upvotes.


Might be postpartum depression. Confront her and consider counselling.


Pssst... don't waste your time seeing it at the movies.  I was highly disappointed and I feel like it was the worst Batman flick ever.


Even the ratings were a little short.


Because it's the president's job to run roughshod over state laws.


Notice how they never referred to her as Catwoman?

I liked that.


Why should OC be replaced with reposts. OC is new to EVERYONE and more people are likely to like it. It's also not as if the original post of this image has disappeared, use search filters to find old content.


My favorite game is "maclo" which is when we jump around and sing.


It's called computer engineering, what the hell kind of electrician strips wire by hand...


I'll play Devil's Advocate here:

Because violence is acted but nudity isn't.

EDIT: Whooa nellie, lookit all them replies


Ever heard about conserving electricity? And then we complain about climate change. Sheesh.

Edit: Try telling wasteful Amurcans to conserve energy lol. I carry these downvotes as a badge of honor from the likes of you.


No, it's a movie where he takes the cleverness and ability to set traps and applies it to robbing a house that's empty, except for one scared kid that was accidentally left alone. So the robbers keep setting traps, and the clueless child runs into them, while they steal things. And then at the end, Macaulay Culkin just murders him.


have an upvote from me!


I can't imagine getting laid after bringing your own wine to a date


It's not designed for skateboarding.
Edit: A lot of pissed off skateboarders here today... Did you guys not get a board over the holidays or something?


Think of the children! The ones that were appointed as school officials.


Wait....people have trouble with Act 1 mobs?  Act 1 is just as face roll as the rest of the game. I wish you the best of luck at attempting act 2, and let's not even talk about act 3 or 4.


Mr. I'll, make a man,


My mother is a Christian I hate her. Im eleven and already smarter than she'll ever be.


Two inches at a time!  ZING!


He doesnt have a human body. So no.


God bless this holy hand grenade, and may it blow thine enemy into tiny bits


I still don't know who they are, and they still look like children.


Yeah? They discuss this strategy with the fry guy?


She did the whole pretend to be a geek girl thing and abandoned her fans to do that horrifyingly bad stint on the Daily Show. I deserve to be angry with her.


Somebody should really make a "Stickers 2012" sticker.


Like the rich musicians are entitled to my money?


Drive-thrus are full of crazy. I worked in the drive-thru of a Burger King in college. People driving through naked, driving through backing up, riding bikes though, and trying to walk through after hours were common. Guy who came through on a horse naked was really taking it up a notch, we thought.


Yeah? You can go eat a dick jinkls.


Yes....a lot....

Had many a one night flings, booty calls and also 3 relationships


thanks.  I'm trying.  God I'm trying...


Mediocre?

Get the fuck out of here.  -_-


She has HUGE...tracts of land.


Black people are idiots about anything they're not a good example


"I remember you when you were *this* high...

...off the ground...danging from a hotel balcony."


This is the most epic novelty war ever.


Upvoted for making dinner. Don't underestimate what you do for your family.


Bill Gates shoves that prize in your *face* you fucking peasant.

Bill Gates doesnt give a flying *fuck* about your prize.

Bill Gates means fucking **BUSINESS**.


Shit, I'm wearing one right now. You can never be to safe


Some twat gilded you for this? Are you kidding?


"I respect women with huge tits." - Abraham Lincoln


We are equal under the law.  Why should I get more or less punishment based on my income or liquid assets?  By your reasoning a homeless man should be given money for stabbing someone in a robbery attempt.

You probably run a children's "No Result" Soccer league.


"For 20 of these questions, you will not be allowed to use help, such as notes, the internet or literature. This is to prepare you for the scenario when we get stranded on a desolate island and decide to open up an office building."


because cruelty in the name of war is just so peachy


But is he **too** intelligent?


I frequent /r/minecraft, well... frequently, and I've never seen a post asking for stone stairs, Nether brick slabs, or sandstone pressure plates.


i would still watch zenon girl of the 21st century.

zoom zoom zoom, you make my heart go boom boom!


So wait, if ONE of them's a faggot, does that mean they're ALL faggots?

Certainly looks like it.


> grammarites

If there was ever a time to use the term grammar-*nazi*, this was that time


Not original, Not funny, Not clever, Certainly a repost. Tl;DR and Your nickname SUCKS.

For all that reason : **FUCKING DOWNVOTE** Go ahead reddit and follow me ! Bring this shitty post down pls

**EDIT : ARE YOU ALL STUPID ?! DONT DOWNVOTE MY COMMENT, DOWNVOTE THE POST -_-**


That one is true. It just took a long time to get popular, because hipsters hadn't been invented yet.

[Gold? Thank you, kind stranger!]


woah look at all your karma! can you teach me how to be cool like you?


Why would you apologize. That fucking Asshole probably got that other car full of people killed. All because he was a terrible and inpatient driver. What a fucking Asshole.


Meh it just seems the ratio of fucking crazy people is exponentially higher there. Doesn't help when anyone can get a gun.


Then you wonder if your sunglasses aren't dark enough and they can tell you are looking at them.


> and, if possible, rehabilitation.

Rehabilitation isn't possible.


Seriously dont understand the point of carving initials anywhere do people think its going to make them famous


HURR HURR DAE le justine GAYber is le gay?!???!?!??!?!?!!!?1? Born in /r/lewronggeneration amirite gaiz???


RIAA sues Iranian government 100 Trillion dollars for playing copyrighted music in a public setting.  Iranian government defaults and RIAA takes over Iran as compensation.  RIAA fires nukes at pirates.  World ends.


-pffffffffft- meow!!!!!!!!!!!!! -pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffft- MEOWWWWWWW! -plop- Meow.

Wtf dwnvotes???? You meow idiots dontkno what humor is


My favorite time was in the 60s and 70s because I was free as a bird.  I had a wonderful life at that time.


Yeah having a nice resume is how you get into schools and jobs...
 Fuck her for working the system, what a cunt.


~~Child~~

Chial.

FTFY


Youporn, pretty simple. Unless you're full of shit which is most likely scenario.


> Someone asks my zodiac sign? Cancer.

I don't know why this is making me laugh so fucking so hard, but it is.


next time a NSFL tag would be good too. Now fuck off.


I don't know why this made me laugh so hard...

I'm just imagining some guy fapping, mumbling to himself **"Yeah... yeah that's right, you take her out to dinner first..."**

*licks lips*

**"Yeah, you treat her like a proper lady..."**


You, sir, are doing this right.
FTFY


She's in for a hell of a surprise once she realizes that the entire internet knew what she was doing while she was doing it. BAZINGA!


this username is less than a month old... good game sir


...and catch mrs. OP in middle of blowing the mailman.

Edit: I just got SRS'd for my first time! Woohoo!


They are killing my favorite smash game and their involvement has been of no benefit to me.


I'm a Obama supporter through and through, but Ron Paul stands by what he says and has been very consistent in his views.  I may disagree with his policies, but I respect him as a politician.


I think if there are good time gaps between every use there won't be any loss of stimulation when doing any of the 2 drugs.


Or, as we call it in Australia, a prawn. The body is good to go but you have to remove the head first.


My point isn't to change your mind.


I might have never figured that out if I didn't read this comment. I'm not even being sarcastic. I feel so dumb now.


I've never used any bugs in the game, because I don't need to. I've been accused of everything from aimbots to inventory hacks. I guess when all else fails, make shit up?


In /r/frugal they recommended deliberately driving close behind people to catch their screenwash so as to avoid using your own... You could be making their day!


Please do not speak for everyone here.


Socially Awesome Penguin


nedröster? verkligen sweddit?


You either die a nice guy, or live long enough to see yourself become the asshole


yes. based on the most asinine concept of "stereotypes", and all from a place of internalized homophobia and self-loathing.

he's more than free to prove to everyone that he has no balls and is a complete coward.  and you're free to be just like him.  although i can't see what you'd want to be....


Nope nope nope nope nope

Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope

Nope nope nope nope nope


Why are you commenting on your own post?


Agreed, he was looking out for you.


I bet my strawman is less fickle than Diaby's body.


>Our school was predominantly white and the other team was predominantly black.


Fuck off, you're that annoying person that always have to take the comments just over the fucking edge of being humorous or helping of any kind.


Please not this again. After the last thousands times people debated "we totally wear shoes inside in X place" and "nuh-huh, I'm from X place and I don't know anyone who does" it's been made pretty clear: in the western world it's not so much a cultural thing as it is a habit that differs from family to family. With no shoes indoors being more common in places where it snows.


\*relevant username\*


As I've said before, I shall name my child Th_, pronounced "Thunderscore".


NO SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT


"Internet fame came at me so fast and sudden I felt like the CISPA bill going through Congress!"


LOL IRL just now.

Alex. Smith. Super. Bowl.

LOL


I can't wait until 10 years from now when these kids are telling stories on Reddit in a "What's your best haunted house story?" thread.


indoctrination and choice are the central themes of the series. Makes sense that the ending would revolve around those. I guess it went over your head.

edit: Upvotes? Really?


Didn't have to be tonight, anytime in the last 12 months would suffice.  He's been campaigning since *last* October.  Just give me a list.


Point is: stick to geology. Also, an oil company with no budget for a logo? Hell, I'm sure most of the Redditors here would do it for free just so it would be done right.


Some say her poems rhyme perfectly in English, German, and Finnish, with no translation error, and that her pen was the one used to sign the Paris Peace Treaty.  All we know is. She's called /u/poem_for_your_sprog!


It's a urban myth, it's actually not possible to swallow your tongue.


Dude, those one handed half push-ups alone are worth more than one regular push-up, especially while chatting and waving around his mighty gloved hands.


Don't drive faster than your guardian angel.


My thoughts exactly, "Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants."


For who? And why? Or should we just shut up about religion when someone puts mistaken faith in it?


"Taking an explosive diarrhea right now #thuglife2012 #YOLO #SWAG"


enh, not really worth my time or energy.  I tried giving em away to friends and family but it didn't work ;/


Amateur.
I use mine like a sharpening stone on my sword.


Way ahead of you http://i.imgur.com/CFrtg.jpg

Gaussian Blur so no snooping.


Wasn't it North Korea last time?

It's a new reality TV series - "Coup or Camping"


Are you fucking shitting me?  Have some respect.


You are a fine human being.


mind ur own business and keep ur judgements to urself, ,jesus


Maybe that's why he's so sad


Actually, it's to assume that you "only live once" when you lack the ability to just say you don't know.


Exactly. I come to reddit hoping for posts like this.


>They're only picking people ~~who agree with them~~ with expertise in the field of anti-terror work? Shocker.

ftfy


If he cared about her as much as she cares about him (enough to give him a huge sum of money) his priorities would probably be

1) pay off her (their?) debts

2) support her through school

3) invest in their future

Giving him half to blow on whatever the fuck he wants is way beyond stupid.


Unprofessional, period.


NSFW
http://i.imgur.com/VFuQ2.gif


If you are masturbating to the point that you have no friends and never go outside, that is NOT healthy.


He kind of looks like a Clint / Chris Hemsworth hybrid.


-83, bit pathetic really, thought you guys could do better.


I fucking love reddit


Came here to say this, thanks for beating me to it. =)


His name is Asac Schrader.


I believe that someone is a social outcast and probably doesn't have friends if the majority of their posts are about a show designed for 3 year old girls, about anime, or about gaming.  What do you think?


chicka chicka pleased to meet you


lol why "especially women"?


Blow your conservative friend's mind further by pointing out that Republicans believe that if the government gives freebies to the poor, they won't want to work, but if the government doesn't give freebies to the rich... they won't want to work.

http://www.morbidementia.com/images/mind-blown.gif


OH MY GOD THIS IS HAPPENING!
I'll take a picture of my balls next to/on my cat.


Parents just don't understand.

Edit: Whoever threw some gold my way, thank you! I really appreciate it.


I clicked the comments link, not the title link. Wow what a dumfuck, do you even know how reddit works? Lol


The story sounds pretty fake


To show that she wasn't raging at me.


As a wooden fellow, I feel no pain.


Not really, she's a whore, not much context to add.


Except they're all saying:
"WELL HI THERE" "HOW ARE YA?" "GOSH GOLLY GEE, WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY"


The color of your skin indicates that you're a spic. True or false?


Props to that other guy though for pointing it out.


No, because they are as inherently insane as the creeps who hang themselves from hooks.


It's not really. They've seen their daughter naked before. Why is it creepy they see her naked when she's of legal age but all the years when if strangers were cleaning her bottom as a baby they'd be labeled pedophiles does it suddenly become creepy?

It's this lingering sentiment of nudity=unnatural that keeps boobies off of network tv.

Grow out of your cultural bubble.


Hey guys...sorry I'm late!


I used to buy my grandmother a mirror, [but then i took an arrow to the knee!] (http://www.reddit.com/r/arrowstotheknee/)


..I like how he involved the neighbor instead of just saying "Hey guys, my butt movies finally got here."


If you want to make her feel better just look her in the eye and say, "I will be masturbating to this later."  That way even if she thinks you're creepy, she will think that someone believes she's attractive.


I'm in the process of becoming a lawyer.  Is that close enough?


Cleary we got it wrong this whole time. Penis = FEMALE - Vagina = MALE. How the fuck did that happen.
On a side note, do you think He/she/it could give me babies, and if so would they come equiped with both parts?


We were all in Jay's car and got pulled over for speeding. Jay got the ticket since he was driving and we made fun of him for turning into such a wimp when the officer came to the window. Then we thought, these guys have so much power! What if they actually had a good sense of humor and like to play games on speeders when they got bored. That was basically when the seed was planted.


There are rumors that they are half-brothers. In the gom interview Tasteless mentioned he is visiting his dad for Christmas. Day9 never mentions his father in Daily #100. Tasteless once said he was born in France.


Someone with the mentality of a 13 year old. Jesus fucking christ op, your mom's a Cunt.


Yeah, shes not annorexic.  I'm having a hard time following her train of thought... She's just exaggerating to make a point.


I wasn't really a

( •_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

fawn of it


Imagine that, leaving the legal formalities up to the lawyers and judges! Personally I prefer it when the government over steps its bounds...


About 2 cockloads, I'd estimate.


I used to thank what ever higher authority you prescribe to they made that call, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Let me handle this, stewardess... I speak *jive*.


Best. Reddit. Comment. This. Month.


Which of the two had the Gaza Strip going on?


totes?  And you question my education.


Aaaaaand there's the title.

Edit: scratch that since it needs to be more pornish.

Better title: I Want to CONCEIVE.


how?

what are you basing that on?


That's the most disgustingly great thing ever.


Not because it's sexist?  I'd call her an asshole, but that would be insulting to anuses.


ALL ABOARD THE /R/CIRCLEJERK EXPRESS!


awwww... poor widdle baby gotems feewins hurt?


Troy and abed go to helmmmmms deep


Right, because as a goddamn dirty hippie, he has so much to offer. Get over yourself, she cheated because you suck.


Thanks to Einstein, the speed limit on the autobahn is c.


how is triple $900 $1200 ish ? a fucking itouch is $400 dollars so basically you're retarded....


http://soundcloud.com/tenaciousd/drmcgillcuddy Seal is going to be on our next album.


To get away from the dramallama? But it's my house and I need it now! *Fuck why can't I remember the rest of the jingle, I know there's a number to call...*


Your dad seems pretty cool.


This pun thread is **fin**ished.


Wow you must love Michael Bolton!


Yeah. I'd be a little afraid of this person. It looks like it was just done on a whim, out of curiosity maybe. How long before a person like this kills just to see what it's like.


We do have movie and TV shows but I spent almost every spare minute I had taking pictures of our beautiful planet


The only funny part of this, but yeah, I died at that too.


And the doctor does what then? Takes the organs home and screams 'MINE! ALL MINE!"

What incentive do they have to "keep" your organs?


Why would this have 50+ upvotes? They're entirely different species, and dude is gonna play off his ignorance with not giving a shit? Fuck that. You're an idiot tearhugger, not for mistaking the two, but for not giving a shit. You big dumb idiot.


Pizza box makes it even better.  Double legit.


Lol he's so stupid republicans are so stupid rite guyz?


Then will come the Russian counter campaign "Buy your diamond from us and get a bride for free!"


Networking and good luck? That may be hard for most of us here, but no not a huge amount of work...


It's the same person. He didn't realize he already posted in this thread.


I think its more a woman thing

Edit - Apperently even though this subreddit is a glorified hate group, it has some white knight syndrome going on.


Wow... that is creepy as hell.


this comment is severely undermined


            .
           /'
          //
      .  //
      |\ /7
     /' " \
    .   ¬ ¬   whatever...
    | (    \  /
    |  '._  '
    /   \ '-'


Ugh, how could you possibly have attended an actual "football" game in the US?  Did you eat McDonalds too?  The amount of pro-American feeling there turns my guts out.  Everyone stands for the National Anthem?  Fucking Auschwitz.


But at least both are being fed.


I was expecting something sexual! You like [*this?*](http://i.imgur.com/olvhV.png)


Korea is going full retard with "fan death"


She has plenty of money, just this past week she wrote a check for 3 grand to the Warren campaign.  Just an extra hundred a month from her on rent would help immensely.


I did this when I was 19 as well.  You were 6.  :-/

Edit:  This is by far the most popular post I have eve made on Reddit.  Thanks?


For the simple minded: Doesn't Matter; Wore/Wearing Tiara


It's always a pleasure to handle the dishes and I love you too.


Sorry I was talking to the guy above  you. His kid isn't dead so I find it a little weird that he got accepted into Make a wish. I know a guy who's friend's daughter actually died after their magical day. It isn't fair at all and he should apologize to all the men and women who were tricked. I'll make sure to copy this comment in a reply to the scumbag.


I think it's obvious from the nature of the cuts, and the sleep scenario, that she wants attention. Those in danger of suicide don't want someone constantly around, because they're trying to get it done. She's trying to control her sister and have her attention.


See my reply to reddituser1000001.


Your aunt is pathetic... I'm sorry, but who does shit like that.

I wonder if your grandmother pays her back. Hell I wouldn't, if I had raised for 18 years, then you better think twice before making me pay you back.


Given what people post in /r/gaming regularly, I'm inclined to disagree


My guess is that he's hugely overestimating what constitutes one serving size.


Were you also a disabled cancer patient with epilepsy?  You know,  for the extra-mile feels karma.


Because if there's one thing I expect from the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, it's historical accuracy.


I used to be a fat angry Vietnam veteran, but then I took an arrow in the knee!


*waiting for gif to load*
*open new tab*
*reddit*


Maybe that's an indication that you don't really know anything about GamerGate


Don't worry man. 3GS hand me downs happen to all of us. My last phone was a silver nokia brick. Good to know even Tom Hank's son isn't immune to the wrath of the youngest child syndrome.


I think it's fair.  He thought his daughter was Marrying a Mormon.  True or not, he envisioned a life of Mormon grandkids, baptisms, the whole thing, and instead he got a son in law who walked away from it.  Any Jewish, Muslim, ______ would feel and likely do the same.


Used to happen to me all the time at this one job.    So one day instead of my tuna sandwich, I made a cat food sandwich.   Found the half eaten sandwich in the trash.   Score!  And no more stolen lunches


Not really incredible but yeah good shot for sure


Ladies and gentlemen, the internet.


capitalism...works ?? you must mean in the short-term.


I take it one step further. I not only hope that it's an accident, but that whoever caused it died. I have terrible road rage.


Too bad when he is talking on his own, he is a mumbling, stuttering fool.

He doesn't even need to comment on this. SO why does he? Because he is a racist. He surrounds himself by only black people in his photo ops. If a white guy was killed, he wouldn't even comment on it.


And they all promptly forgot about each other completely.


Well before you jump to conclusions why don't you find out first.

If you don't know the truth you will make up a truth in your head which might be inaccurate.


Solution: get a sign that says "I AM NOT A HOOKER!" and set it up wherever you go.

Or get a business card that you hand out whenever someone looks askance. It can read "[Your Name], dignified businesswoman. Will not love you long time. Will not love you short time. I'm just trying to live my life, man."


I used to be mainly brown, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I am forced to ponder if there is any feeling more sensitive than continued touching of the penis tip after ejaculation. That shit sends me through the roof. No touchy.


Yeah, you're a dumbass


Okay, how's [this](http://i.imgur.com/nUoHW.png)?


does it matter? the game is not fun and is for little kids


Yep. Also, those tears are real. Not Photoshoped.

That documentary is ten levels of fucked up.


ERMAHGERD, GERRGE BERRSH SHERS


Also, props on the penis.


I hope you are being funny, but on the off chance you are not, keto4life meant the account is not a throwaway.


WHO NEED BRANE WHEN HAVE #SWAG #YOLO


Yet only one of them is doing a flip off the cliff while the other is cautiously approaching it.


>I think the Cinnamon challenge can cause some esophagus dsmage.

QUOTED YOU ON IT.


and that his mom isn't a crack whore.


WOLVES NATION BABY!!! LOVE MY TEAM!! THIS IS AWESOME


ohhh you're such a meanie :'(


* "I just moved in."
* "I think someone pulled a prank on me."
* "I don't know"
* "No, I do not consent to a search of my dental hygiene products"


And given that she's wrecking a BMW, she clearly has a husband. You know married women and their reluctance to take it in the ass from strangers.


speak for yourself, as an Australian, Liz can kindly fuck off


You thought it would be the french with all of their practice in the past...


Either the biggest troll ever, or funniest unknowing mistake ever.


dude I surf on 4chan I know how a tranny looks like trust me


Kinda looks like welsh.


I used to side with the potatos, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


I had to look at it at least three times to figure out what was wrong...


Have you not seen the picture, it's clearly been removed now.


Real privilege in action. The power to harm others and get away with it.


I used to turn around and then the original danger is now behind me, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


look at things (sorry), yes, scorpio. Are those wedding bells I hear or is that just me? (It's just me, I'm deaf)


I think it looks like shit.


>It's MY house so YOU get the MadCatz controller!!

Oh how much I hated that kid.

EDIT:[This shit.](http://i.computer-bild.de/imgs/1/4/1/2/7/9/1/Gamepads-fuer-Konsolen-Mad-Catz-Wireless-Controller-Playstation-2-569x372-b36dd2300c394706.jpg)


I downvoted you cause you care about internet points.


Pretty sure that one is banned too


That was kinda the point. I know it was lazy. However, I did post another cake day post that is in fact OC:

http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/z3r41/for_my_cake_day_i_submit_to_you_the_next_most/


Yeah, OP's mom is a faggot.


And you can expect the answer to be a self-glorifying pile of logical errors and ugly facial hair.

Seriously, fuck Maddox.


I have done Adam's show once or twice. I was supposed to do the podcast to promote my first book back in 2010, but we couldn't figure out the scheduling. Whenever I think about him I think of him (lovingly) as that boy who came in and ate all my mom's cooking.


You guys talk like fags and your shit's all retarded.


I agree with you, so I upvoted

err I mean, you really contributed to the conversation, great job, I hope to see more of this content on Reddit (R) The Front Page of the Internet^TM


Who cares, it's a non issue.  These asshole decided to go to a shit country, so they got what they deserved.


I like the marriage thing. I would also like to suggest that after the confession, you break down in tears and tell her you are pregnant and ask her how you could do this to you and the baby.


<upvote me, i need it cause i keep getting downvotes acting like a dick in other subreddits, dont wana get spam filtered guys


You can only get HIV from legitimate rape.


Sucks that you spent $3,000 on it just so you didn't have to learn how to use a real computer.


I don't know why, but it seems like it's always when I'm in the most stretched out position, my calves or back hurts, she seems to enjoy it the most. It's like she knows...


I TRIED to watch Rebels. I could only stomach about 5 minutes of it. I'ts smellier garbage than the "Prequels." If this is what people on this board deem "quality," I'll have to unsub.


And then in Episode 1 the sand people are shooting pod racers moving at hundreds of miles an hour...

ಠ_ಠ


Most European countries are also irrelevant and gay.

AMERICA, FUCK YEAH.


We salute you, mr. "Father of an emotional teenager".


With respect: who the hell cares?

Edit: -5. Awesome job, neckbeards


Oh god, that made me laugh. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be laughing... oh god.


**That's already the joke..**


Failblog and its conjoined tumors are what first introduced me to the world of internet may-mays.

Back then I thought Reddit was like 4chan and never went to either site.

Then I actually *did* go to reddit, and never looked back. I visited cheezburger/everything else the other day, and it's just....awful. They changed the format and stuff and it really only appeals to kids <14.


Damon is almost as annoying as that other guy. who's the other guy who's similarly annoying..  let me think.


>WHAT DO YOU THINK WE ARE GOING ON A FUCKING DATE, RECRUIT!?! ARE WE GOING TO THE DRIVE IN FOR A FUCKING MOVIE AND THEN WE ARE GONNA SLIP INTO THE BACK SEAT AND SCREW?!?!

Harshest friend-zoning ever.


Corporal Mitchell is probably banging an Iraqi.


We generally don't have problems with celebrity verifications; they all have twitter or can send a picture of themselves which are easily recognizable.


Damn. I don't blame you.


>My name is Cason. I'm 16 years old, live in a small town in Texas, and have a great love for technology.

I wouldn't advertise your personal website with your full name and location on reddit.


What would I do with a 5" penis?


Just because you were on a drug doesn't make this wtf. This is just more 'quirky' hipster bullshit


You cannot be faulted for that. Who in the hell asks to "trade pants" as a euphemism for hooking up?


not impressive for a guy who plays this game 12 hours per day


That's the crazy part. She says we don't know the baby's gender in utero, but then aborts it because it's male and that clearly means it's going to be a man and that clearly means it's going to be a rapist and a bully so she needs to kill it first.


thank u bro almost as nice as all these insanely negative comments about someone they've never met and know nothing about


I don't want to sound creepy or anything.  But I printed your picture out.  And then realized that I had an extra frame laying around. So I figured why not put the picture in the frame?  It is where pictures belong.  And then I was trying to find a place to put the frame found that the only place that it really fits in my apartment was next to my bed.


because it wasn't a race up a ladder?


How about.. a girl who's got a brain who always speaks her mind?


Are you putting a fucking "<3" behind your posts?? *really*..??

I don't think 12 year olds are eligible to donate, and I'd seriously reconsider getting it from you.


But not falling into lava is *boring*.


You say problems, I say differences.


Life, uh, finds a way.


Read what I wrote in my original comment...then they have to prove it.

You never lie without risk. Some lies are worth the risk.


Photographer notices diver is paralyzed, photographs impending death, notices diver is being attacked by whale, more photos. I notice title and picture, make dumb joke, I notice joke has already been told in comment section multiple times, tells joke anyways, notice article clears up joke, fuck it joke must be told.


I cherish this accomplishment


Are you saying thats not a real window behind them?


No. But thanks for actually following my description unlike people in my last posts. "Yeah it sounds like 80's maybe-" "IS IT THIS NEW DUBSTEP SONG?!"

But the song I'm thinking of is definitely a slower, I guess 'cool' tempo, and doesn't have group singing as far as I remember.


That kind of lie will weigh you down for the rest of your life.  You don't have to come clean any time soon, but...you should eventually.  At the very least, get your parents' debt out of the way.


Or you know, she high fived him BECAUSE he had his eyes closed? The photo doesn't give context.


My dog sits just outside the shock range of the invisible fence, where it will just beep to let her know she is close to it. So it beeps, and beeps... until the batteries die.

She then goes, lays down in the middle of the road, and takes a nap.


You don't understand what irony is.


Really Important Pedophile?


too ass-kissy. downvoted.


That carrot peeler looks suspiciously like a girl.


SRSPrime is a circle jerk. It's supposed to be facetious.

SRSD is actually for real discussions, if you read a post in a while and opened up your fucking mind, you'd realize that.


Squiggly line, confirmed Korean.

EDIT: ofc it's a joke, I know the symbol's name :)


There is a hotel called, "I ended a fucking sentence with a preposition and am therefore stupid." It's perfect for people like you.


Dude, if you are being honest here then Comcast knows who you are now. You are one of 30 potential people, of those people you have been there at least 8 years. You are of Mexican birth but moved to Canada. You have e record of 18 sales in one day.

They will easily find you.


so what about victim (if still alive) or the family of the victim to these guys. seems like they may wanna fuck the system. justice should be served.


You just made me realize that what he did was literally called dicing.


lady? i dont think that word means what you think it means...


The Jaguars drafted Blaine Gabbert with punters still on the board


So... How Does It Feel To Be A Fucking loser?


I'm just surprised your toilet had the right drivers.

EDIT: Hah over 400 upvotes for a funny little comment. Thanks guys! I'll be here all week.


Last time I checked this was a free country. Funny how this girl is eager to steal the state's property as far as the shape of its borders, but then cries when a company incorporates similar ideas.

Hypocrite....?


yea just cool it with the whole jailing journalists thing a bit mmkay?


I'm sure you got downvoted by some tard, but I thought it was hilarious


Eyes, nose AND a mouth?!

Don't let this one go, kid.


"That is the whole" were your first four words? I hope the next were "poop that I saw on my cat yesterday afternoon - wtf is it doing on my mouse?"


Build a ramp and go full speed jumping over things on fire


You're actually a fucking moron that has too much time on your hands, kill yourself


Well, yeah. It's taken.


Bigot, fine, even though intolerance of murderers is a title I can live with.

Racist, however, is not remotely close to being an accurate description of my comment.


...then walk away backwards slowly. Facing the cashier the entire time.


fucking faggot ass kids these days, amirite


They can't withhold winnings, unless they have proof of you cheating. They'll walk you to the counter, cash you out, walk you out, and add your face to their database for facial recognition.

It's a supremely stupid idea to kick out winners, but the Luxor is shitty through and through, so.


relax man, that doesn't mean anything.  I've been on reddit for longer than this account has existed.