Okay, but by that logic you could post all sorts of stuff here and claim it would improve peoples PS4 experience, even if it is not related, but it would get hated on and removed. Double standards or what?


I will go a year without eating my own cum if that happens.


Mencia is still way funnier than all of these comments.. He is a professional comic, they steal jokes. he was just unfortunate enough to take Joe rogan's fiend's joke.


I don't know why I clicked this


Me. His bellowing man-child schtick was old 15 years ago.
*Downvote all you want - Will isn't going to come over, scream in your face and jerk you off.


A friend of mine in college called his girl "snoochy boochy" after he heard u say it. She had no idea that he didnt make it up just for her, and she had it engraved in his wedding ring. "love forever, from your snoochy boochy". He didn't have the heart to tell her. He keeps having to make sure she doesn't see any of your movies.


Odd. Homophobia involving a gif of a very pretty girl. Very rare.

Edit: All you downvoters are homophobes as well.


Do Zonino a solidus, and Zonino will do you a solidus.


2 was good but it didn't have the same feel. I still haven't seen 3. I have netflix and it is on there but I refuse.


A long time indeed. In fact how could someone JUST hear this on NPR. I can hear the voice in my head "Support for NPR comes from the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation...." "Support for NPR comes from the Pews Charitable Trust...." "Support for NPR comes from..."


what a shitty comment.
Are you seriously still upvoting it? The comment doesnt add anything at all. Do you upvote it becacuse you know it is somewhat relevant and you want to show everyone you get it? I have seriously never seen a worse comment than that. You all suck.


would be even scarier if it was 172. Imagine a super genius ninja with high tech equipment and shit and that fucker was coming straight at you. You would stand no chance. :(


This may get downvoted but the reality is, gay people are such an irrelevant minority, its hardly worth a major dating site to include or cater to them. Its essential throwing money down the toilet. Nobody expects a clothing store to stock special midget items, because they can just go to their special midget stores.


I don't eat with my ass.


two times the daddies = two times the daddy issues

so which club is she stripping at?


Sorry, doesn't work for me. Could you make it 10 pm my time?


You obviously don't know anything about Apple, because you can compare ANY competing product and compare quality and Apple will walk away laughing with the win.


Maybe he has a student named 'Us Class'


Trolls still be trolling


If they're Jodie Foster's aliens, then yeah.

If they're Sigourney Weaver's aliens, then I'll pass.


WE'RE DOWNVOTING YOU BECAUSE WE NEED TO PROVE THE POINT THAT WE KNEW ABOUT MORE THAN JUST THE ONE FAMOUS GUY!! GRRRRRRR!! FEEL THE COMBINED WEIGHT OF OUR MASSIVE E-PENII!!!

Schmucks.


Oh, thank god she taped her nipples.


They never see the light, just like you don't. You and the rest want to believe so bad, nothing will sway you. To admit you've been duped on that scale rattles your worldview too hard.


I'm coming up with thirty-two point three three uh, repeating of course


I took the picture straight from an article. Can't even open up Google yourself? That's lazy as hell, Mr penguin


No-one makes fun of heath's death.  NO ONE!


Oh, if you are looking for who started it that would be me. I did that during the rant I made before he came on. Fortunately that point does _nothing_ to what I had said before.


Nespresso for everyone.


| I enjoyed the fap

FTFY


I was taught that Hitler killed 6 million Jews in school.  In college I learned that on top of the 6 million Jewish people, there was another 6 million people he killed.


Don't you EVER correct me in public


This is the correct answer


This is almost a "when you see it" pic

Edit: On Alien Blue - didn't see the dude at first, but thanks for the bandwagon downvotes..


It's okay. I even downvoted myself.


After he lost his job, [he took a taxi home](http://i.imgur.com/WctRwDv.gifv)


I have read your comment and it is obviously that your a foggot.


To be fair, we often play on non-Riot accounts to see what the actual player experience is like.

It's interesting but sometimes, playing on the RiotLyte account results in more toxicity because players want to see if something will "happen."


Welp seeing as I just made an account here less than a week ago and I have no idea what "karma" even is or why I would want it, I'm going to have to disagree with you.


...if you know what I mean ;)


Did somebody tell you life was fair?  They lied.


"MAAAHM, IT'S PAAAHTAAAY TIIIIMEEE"

"No, you little shit.  Look at the fucking clock, it's mommy time.  It's party time in 14 minutes."


ERMAHGERD, HERD CERBS


Did you mention it to your friend? That seems like something she needs to know about.


You do realise most of Egypt is Christian


I like money. Pass me a Brawndo.


are you going to answer my question? I need to fucking know. This shit turns me on.


Make search fast and comprehensive.

Any Googlers who love reddit and would like to re-write a search system from scratch can contact me.


I expected **[African-Americans](http://i.imgur.com/Xo2pv.jpg)**


"Sell not virtue to purchase wealth, nor Liberty to purchase power." B.F.


Nobody is fucking cats!!!! What is with this shit!!!!!!


"Just put your mouth on it" by Every Guy Ever


I was meth trying to enjoy some peace and quiet, and this fucking opera singer would not shut up.


Same thing happened at my school. Several guys wore kilts for a few days, then, all on the same day, about half the guys in the whole school wore skirts. Lady skirts. It was wonderful.


You make it sound so funny.


One or two sir? http://i.imgur.com/Ncx4s.gif


Awwww look at the butthurt Bitchhawk fans downvoting me. So salty. Enjoy the Sherman memes you'll be seeing all off season.


The person in charge somehow had to justify his massive boner to his coworkers.

"It's the nipple. I swear!"


but som ppl like guyz so not everone said dat.


You are the least happy badger I have ever met.


I have not once claimed to have come up with something that wasn't mine.


We don't chop people's hands off for theft, so there's that.


Its a nice gesture, but they dont have to do it.


"I spit in your sister"


How is Tumblr being racist? They literally are encouraging people to post selfies, and congratulate them for it.


Yeah, but drinking a gallon of ink is *disgusting*


*spoiler*

Well more like an incestuous fuck.


It's pronounced Wis-con-sin.


leave me alone... I'm busy counting my karma.


Uh, that was host Luke Burbank's joke.  I don't want people to think I am an endless well of supercomputer-rape jokes.


Which is so retarded because you can just go into the toilets and wash it off. I never understood why they didn't mark the over 21s.


Get a belt buckle that says *^ My eyes are up here ^* maybe?


I used to buy him dinner first, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


That is truly fucking golden. So awesome.


A proper pilot wouldn't put the plane into a spin after an engine failure. This should have been a procedural forced landing


This is why there are all those signs that say don't take strollers on escalators...


I don't...I don't get...That's exactly what the quote is. Militant downvote for repetition.


With proper care, that three may someday grow up to be a four or even a five.  You're doing a great service to the world, my friend.


This is Wimp.com ([proof](http://wimp.com/helloreddit.html)). You are correct, erotic_sausage, our sockpuppets are failing us. We plan to deploy our voter monkeys any minute now. Thanks for visiting Wimp.com!


Honesty I think they do it because they know the parents have to watch it too. And they know the kids won't understand it. So they just try to make it more enjoyable for the parents?? My best guess.


**SORRY FRIEDN  TOO BAD NOBODY CARES !!! FART !!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH !!!!!!!!!! LISTEN TO REAL MUSIC LIKE DRAKE OR SKRILLEX !! FART !!! FAG!**


that isn't my account, faggot. This is my one and only account.


Perhaps just replying to this will be easier. I am the Overly Attached Boyfriend.


Don't worry, FBIorange, it wasn't funny.  There were a lot of great moments from that show, and this was not one of them.  One must question the people that found this so funny that they couldn't stop laughing.  I never even started.  Some people will laugh at anything.


The sound is of the device starting. UV light is not visible. The device emits visible light when charging up to emit UV. The water in the sewer is so dirty and full of chemicals it protects them from UV. **Logic Restored**


Apparently non-ignorant people are boring.


Pretty sure that's how the wheel was invented. "What's that? We have to carry 45 armloads of yak pelts up that hill? Nah, fuck that, i've got an idea, guys..."


Oh, Cool :) I learned something  -although, maybe he had his nerdy friend type it for him. ha ha I WIN!


upvote for 'outstanding orca' , that's alliteration I can get behind.


Lovely comments are lovely


>I was thinking "Why did they put a source?

They didn't. That's a Scource.


So why would Apple do it the way they do it if it didn't make sense to do it that way?


Like, of fukin course now fuck off!!


So you're the one who corrected him? Typical.


She sharted then darted


This, so much. It's a much better story that way, and it leaves more of a legacy. It's not all that overly disrespectful and makes both the movie and his death way cooler. Someday his death wouldn't mean fuck all to anyone, but the movie will always be around and people will remember him saying "joker made the dude fucking insane". At least he'll be remembered.


Don't want to be that guy, but gallup is 130 miles from albuquerque. Driving the speed limit on the interstate will get you there in less than 2 hours.


I find it so funny that you sit here on your high horse derisively mocking people for going on a website that you don't use because you feel their website steals (totally non-copyrighted/non-trademarked) images from a site you go on. Feel better about yourself now?


jews r cheap
edit:spelling


"Baseplate, this is Big Bird. Package secured, returning to base. Out."

EDIT: I see I have offended some people, maybe next time OP you can try harder to not think about it.


Top 3 fears:

1. The future

2. Committing to something/one

3. Losing something/one I've committed to.


no one cares what you think camwhore


I am not aware of this.

I will research it.


I thought the same thing.


I'LL PUT MY DICK IN THE OWL


I live in Nebraska, and this case looks small [compared to ours.](http://www.caseih.com/en_us/PressRoom/News/PublishingImages/low-res/2012-3-8_Case_IH_Steiger_Tractors_Set_New_Industry_Records_for_Fuel_Efficiency_Steiger_600_Low_Res.jpg)


Yeah, but it's also nearly a thousand calories per glass, which means that I can skip breakfast and lunch, and eat only a light supper.  Think about it; can you afford *not* to drink a glass of maple syrup every morning?


that, and Lucian does less dmg than a cannon minion. It's good play by lb but lb is not to be phrased here.
edit: Gnar also sent an aa that did close 2 no dmg.


Oh god! You werent supposed to meet my tapeworm till the *fourth* date. How embarrassing!


exactly, you would never see this in a j.crew catalogue, hence it is no way suitable for male fashion


because you know, ICP totally encourages respect for women, anti-abuse, and despises drugs


hehe... Cum on Lisa Ann

FTFY


And that shoebox isn't holding photographs...


Ah, the old reddit [switch-a-roo](http://www.reddit.com/r/skyrim/comments/ro02v/a_sad_sight/c47e3oe)


Statistically speaking:

Someone has just died in a car crash.

Someone has just died from starvation

Someone has just been shot

Someone has just been stabbed.

A young girl is being gang raped.

Someone is drowning right now as you read this.

A baby is being born, but its died already.

And whilst all this is going on, Someone is fapping to child porn.


that'll make you feel better? hahahahahaha


You must be incompetent if you can't make a decent living as a programmer - or maybe you're greedy enough that you don't think you need to keep producing to make a living, like every other non-IP-law-dependent craftsperson on the planet.


Good joke! My "girlfriend" laughed too!

edit: Yes, your repetitive humor of my hand serving a dual purpose as my SO is hilarious, reddit! Please stop.


I know, there is literally nothing funny about her. My fetid arsehole could tell better jokes than her.


Sorry for lashing out like that.


My asshole is not raging nor am I.


"Bitch, do you know who the fuck I am? I'm Bill Fucking Nye. I've been interpreting scientific data since before you were blowing your whole high school senior class to win prom queen. I've got more scientific knowledge in the tip of my dick than you do in your whole body."
That would have been acceptable as well.


I don't really care, honestly.  Your weight doesn't hurt me.


Happy birthday! 🎂🎂🎂🎀🎁🎀🎁🎁🎀🎁🎉🎊🎊🎈🎀🎂🎀🎁🎉🎂🎈🎈🎀🎁🎀🎂🎀🎁🎀🎁🎀🎂🎀🎁🎁🎈🎈🎈🎂🎀🎂🎀🎂🎀🎈🎀🎂🎁🎂🎀🎈🎀🎂🎀🎂🎊🎉🎊🎉🎂🎁🎉🎁🎇🎂🎀🎉🎂🎉🎉🎊🎁🎉🎈🎉🎁🎈🎀🎂🎀🎂🎈🎊🎁🎉🎂🎀🎈🎂🎀🎁🎀🎂🎈🎊🎂🎀🎂🎀🎂🎀🎂🎀


Maybe you should spend lesser time on reddit.


He did that, in part because of a situation sort of like this.


You say "impossible standards" and I say "different tastes" or possibly "different units of measure".

Also, this shit happens in SFW subs too.


Name of the place is "Pounders" in the Houston area. Couldn't find it on google maps or anything, I think it's a pretty low key gym


... who was merely repeating what every British news paper was publishing?


>Like a gauss.

FTFY


lol brits were so out of touch in this olympics, first the bell falling out etc. etc. giant voldemort and beds, i didn't even know brits r so fond of showing how afro-centric they've become, nothing wrong w/ it but i think its just funny


I'd rather they not attempt to sugar coat it and just tell us "yea, we gotta raise prices, sorry"


Or just remove it for being nonsense.


Purchase Carbon monoxide detectors. They are relatively cheap and you can buy good ones that plug directly into an outlet for easy install


No please, not this video... oh god so embarrassing


They're overpaying for a downgraded game.


That's what the real-life Amish say...


That's actually a pretty douche move.


Holy shit this guy is on to something


WE CALL IT CAKEDAY AROUND HERE, BOY


Do you know what trolling is?


Just a reminder that genuine questions should not be downvoted.  Thanks!


The worst part? This is only a glimpse into the many times he's messaged me.


So he didn't go around calling any kids Fat Neil?


>If you get sick from mushrooms in the first few hrs it is very treatable and not necessarily life threatening. If you became ill after 6 hrs or more, the toxins have already been coursing through your body and the mushrooms have made it past your stomach and into your intestines. It's too late.

You clearly know nothing about this.


Upvote because I love being explained why a joke is great.


> company's

companies.


Imagine being chased around by The Love Guru


That's nice, but it doesn't explain the former ones.  Not that imaginary Internet points matter.  It is amazing to see how the different subreddits act.


The classic Texas elbow. They don't make them like that anymore.


I'm calling bullshit as well. /r/atheism is kinda like our Westboro Baptist Church.


It's right there in the brochure.


**get bent**

-edit-

 this is as a red blooded oath taker to the United States Constitution, not as a redditor.


Maybe he should have never opened his maoth.


Can't downvote Jessica Alba, but feel free to downvote me!!!


Sometimes the tubes repair themselves


I think "uppity" is considered racist?  At least have heard this


A++ rant, would read again.


**Obligatory:**

>THIS.


You wouldn't download a planet.


More highschool students on reddit.


Because it's surprisingly less creepy than a large group of people just standing there, staring at a person they adore with unwavering attention in complete silence.


Confirmed. You're a douche.


Googlur?  I hardly know her.


Stop lying, you have to be 18 years old to be an organ donor.


Lets be honest people.

Picking your nose is the only way to REALLY clean your nose.

Maybe alone, maybe in the bathroom, maybe with the door locked, maybe with the water running, but it's still picking your nose. And it's normal.

Also maybe it's just me, but blowing my nose literally has ONLY EVER made it MORE stuffed up.


He should figure it out himself. If he really cared, he'd read the wiki.


Yes this is Dog, what is your emergency?


I used to be in the boy scouts and they always used this policy which was awesome, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


my patronus is a  small field mouse. he can fit between the bars.


>verbally assault


As it should be, how is anyone else supposed to know the gun's not loaded. You point a gun at someone and they have no choice but to assume that it's a deadly weapon.


That's kinda messed up.


I need to invest in special soft penis towel. I think I'll also install a smaller towel rack for it.


Are you saying this because women who have complained about something are spoiled? Or is it because you have an accurate understanding of the whole incident and concluded that she was wrong?


>men aren't allowed to wear hats because "the classroom is like a theatre".

Say you're "in costume"


Fuck you, transphobe.


**Bender**: Who wants some dolphin?

**Amy**: But dolphins are intelligent!

**Bender**: Not this one. He blew his life savings on instant lottery tickets.


One does not simply fix being f2p. That would involve going back in time and buying the game before it was free to play.

But then again have fun at the mann co. store! I would advise getting only the stuff on sail otherwise it can get expensive quick.


I agree. What right do they have to create a hazard and then hold themselves unaccountable? I liken it to wildly swinging your fists in public while wearing a shirt that says "stay away, not responsible for broken noses."


"Scorpion Master" is actually Mang0.


Saw this in a post one time "They say you die twice; once when you stop breathing and the other when people stop remembering your name"

Edit: credits to Bansky


wow a girl who dresses up as videogame characters is a gamer thanks for clearing up that misconception


thank you from those of us who have not been on reddit all day. i had no idea what the hell was going on in the picture.


You never had any internet cred.


The Krieger of the group.


But Dr. Mundo! I have both of your achievements right here.


I'm REALLY hoping this is true.


And who are you to judge, as one of the tilde fan crowd?


See you thought it was just a phobia, but its actually a tumor pressing on whatever part of the brain causing irrational fears of the doctor's office.

EDIT: Wow, thanks for the gold!


More like drowning in the cum from this circlejerk. This is one of the worst ones I've seen in /r/soccer in a long time. Not even a Chelsea fan but holy shit this sub knows how to jerk one another

Edit: Your downvotes just prove my point. Congrats, you did it, Reddit!


I have a really small pen


I hope you fucking die and burn in hell.


Ok, you got me. The wigs off.

http://i.imgur.com/q6p7J.jpg


It's only sad if you don't actually understand the difference between the two systems

hint: it's very very small


A 500 word essay about why they are sorry and what they've learned.


Stop spreading fake quotes and small biased news sources that are obviously made up.


That was such a quick turnaround haha I'm dying here.


She wants beautiful kid with white skin, green/blue eyes and ones who can smell nice naturally. Have you ever sit next to darkys, they smell terrible.


I had a feeling about halfway through that this was going to happen.


Meh. I'll keep my two state championships and you can keep your whining.


anti-depressants or not, the daughter almost certainly learned to be violent from a dad who punches her in the face.  that's really fucked up.


I guess he's drawing on his vast experience of being a scumbag to really nail the role of Theon.


Apparently he got fired: http://www.news.com.au/national/channel-nine-cameraman-simon-fuller-sacked-over-f-ing-terrorist-slur/story-e6frfkw0-1225853550904


Way to steal ideas from Cracked.com you filthy little whore.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19667_6-horrifying-implications-harry-potter-universe.html


1. Nope, some girls do come with issues but mainly its them getting into bad relationships with guys that wanna pimp them out

2. I still love it

3. I am actually dating someone, we've been together for over a year and half


why the fuck am i being downboated, reddit? why?


This.

At the bar i work at, we make homemade pickled eggs.  LOTS of MSG is called for in the recipe.

This one lady comes in and eats 2-3 of them every time she is there.

One day the conversation comes around to MSG somehow, and she says "I cant eat MSG, it gives me terrible migraines".

Yeah, in 2-3 picked eggs she's probably getting as much MSG as 3 plates of chinese food.


>That's what I was going off. There's no way any reporter should turn up at a support group unannounced and expect to be allowed to sit in and listen to what people are taking about. This is about ethics in student journalism.

Well I'm going off what the meeting organiser said themselves and they said it was because they were white.


Copper and nickle to be specific...


first, it's not my blog.

second, the last time i posted an image on reddit i caught hell for it because i didn't link to the original source.  reddit never seems happy.


Why was the alien's spaceship a flying croissant?


Even Bellinelli?

Edit: he was shooting 43% last year compared to 38% this year, I feel like the field is stacked I personally would be surprised if he won it this year.

And apparently he is hurt and may not compete according to: http://www.cbssports.com/nba/eye-on-basketball/25010552/stephen-curry-the-odds-on-early-favorite-for-3-point-shootout


True story. I also have a lot of male friends named Man and Dude.


Something bad a women can do in a primitive society. Probably adultery or killing her babies etc.


But the flesh is Bruced.


Not really.  It's a little too over-the-top look-at-me-I'm-a-geek-ha-ha-ha.


the dickish part is where this guy forgets to add that he has the herps


Yeah buddy. I'm sure their millions and the whole having "accomplished an improbable dream" thing really makes them bitter.

They sure seem bitter. It's definitely not the 50 year old with delusions of grandeur singing songs meant for teenagers. No you're right. How foolish of me.


That's what Cheney said about Dan Quayle


In the social situation I am in, where conforming is closing your mind and mindlessly accepting the narrow views of reality that the society shares... Open mindedness is actually necessarily not accepting societies pressure to conform and become sheeple.


You should get that checked out.


Good for you, here's an upvote for your accomplishments.


Do you have a chart or something for that family? I don't understand who is related to whom.


Unfortunately, jokes are appreciated here. It's r/funny. Woman.


It's truth time, kid. Your math skills are awful, your handwriting looks like shit, and the parakeet is dead. I'm pretty sure it killed itself instead of letting you "pet" it anymore.

Oh, and I know you like Cindy, but I heard her tell the other girls that your face looks like a butt.

Have a great dinner, folks!


The origins of STIs/STDs are obscure. Some researchers have argued that microbes adapted themselves to affect the human genital area or even jumped from animals to humans.


Please come back and tell us how your Google fiber internet works when you get it.


It worked better without the fake/ninja edit.


My dad had a cousin who was a tailgunner during WWII and he shot down one plane where he saw the face of the pilot and it haunted him for the rest of his life. One face. I can't believe people who would brag about killing dozens.


Cross dressers do it to themselves when they demand special treatment just because they wear clothing for a different gender.  While the police only care about your sex when deciding how to treat you.


And fully switched to the metric system as a result.


It doesn't seem to h**arm** him


Opposite of a sea lion.


UPVOTE FOR VISIBILITY

edit: all board the karma train

edit 2: THANKS FOR THE GOLD STRANGER

edit 3: @flarpy59 that's the joke stinky retard


I guess that makes him an overpriced bullet holder.


Like I said, not getting defensive or pissy. You're getting upset because you aren't reading everything before you comment and you're making ridiculous posts.


Just in case ghosts turn out to be real and he haunts the shit out of you. You don't want a ghost to grab and twist your nut sack until you pass out do you?


Good way to come off as an ignorant douchebag and get across that you think relationships are meaningless.  Just the type of guy chicks are looking for...


It was not the first time it happened. She never said she was sorry even once, I only gave her a second chance because of her mother. But now, I will only give her shitty presents.


Who dares down vote Arrested Development references?


For like a month after I got back, every time I went out to dinner with a new group of people, when the bill came, I'd whip out a 1000-Won note and announce "This aught to cover it"

I was hilarious


You can get hundred dollar computers. If you're spending thousands on every computer and then leaving them out on the floor like that, you almost deserve this sort of thing.


In addition to the points that others have made in their replies, [any person wishing to legally change their gender must prove that they have not stored any gametes (eggs or sperm) in sperm banks for future use](http://motherboard.vice.com/2012/1/21/in-sweden-forced-sterilization-is-still-a-thing).

This is eugenics, plain and simple.


Nope. Very calm and easy-going.


Nope. No gun. The guy that was shot though was a suspect in a shooting and robbery the night before so assuming he had a gun was reasonable.


yeah, and then he posted this picture on reddit. Still kinda random I think.


Wow, sounds like you were dumped by a robot. I second lacabra, you deserve a human.


To be honest I wasn't really sure where else to post it where the joke would make sense.


if anything i could say that this cabriolet was rare but i thought nah, forget it. Yo camarade, to bel-air!


You're a fucking idiot.


Next time just open the door and pull up a chair.  If questioned, say you assumed they *wanted* you to hear, what with them arguing right outside your door and all.  Like they were putting on street theater or something.


I used to cosplay all the time, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


Gives a whole new meaning to DeadMaus.


Of course not, but it's part of it.


You feel like a dick whenever you think of your gay Uncle, eh?


What part? How about the part where they blame feminism and women for their problems?


On behalf of all English students, we know.


Hahahaha man that was the first thing I thought!


If you wanna piss people off, earbuds/headphones where the wire is damaged so you can only hear it when the wire is held at a certain angle.


Except it's not. I mean, yelp does the same thing, and it was recently ruled to be legal.


"Dude, what the f- Hello there."


Doesn't matter.  Had fantasy.

Edit: I'm curious about all the hate I'm seeing. I'm not sure what I did wrong.


>Presume you're gay.

Hey! Go presume *you're* gay!


If there was a video, or a ledger, or ANYTHING, I'd love to see it.


I did some research. The pyramids were built well before pizza hut was invented. Do your homework before you make a joke like that next time or you'll look stupid.


Are you stupid or have you just not clicked the link yet?


It's just trying to keep up with today's music.


Could Justin Bieber even have conceived a child at the age of -2?


Octopodes are smart. Really smart. Like eight brains smart. Seriously they have brains in their arms, and they have eight arms. We have 1 brain for 2 arms, we're fucked if they ever figure out how to make a dry suit.


Yeah not really. US News has them at 54. Nothing wrong with that, overall they are a good school, they just aren't an academic powerhouse. I'd much rather go to Wisconsin, Michigan, Northwestern in the B1G.


Having a period stain on your clothing in public is something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.


>Absolutely gut busting

FTFY.


Monarch of Macedonia.


He said they don't want people starting fires, not that they don't want people to open fire.

Too soon?


Don't you mean Matte?


whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh


> You wouldn't clone someone with the purpose of raising a best friend

Well look at Mr. "I've Got Lots Of Natural Friends" over here. You smug fuck.


>I ran a WoW guild for a few years

That is terribly saddening. At the end of your life, do you think you regret wasting all of the time being the boss on the internet?


Things *happen* in South Dakota?


Seems really nitpicky. An assist is an assist.

And also LOL at you saying their assists are different. I'm certain they've both had their share of your definition of "assists"


Another one from the same show.

Dad: My dreams were shattered years ago.

Timmy: How many Years Ago?

Dad: How old are you?


Why don't you learn the actual names of tools


It's weird that they used Lenny Kravitz for plausible gay deniability with "I Kissed A Girl", showing only him singing those lyrics. Like he was the one who kissed the girl, decided it was pretty ok, and Katy Perry decided to sing backup.


A message for all you men:

Sit. down. when. you. pee.

Seriously. I dont care if you have to abandon your little "games", but do you know how dirty public toilets are simply because you didnt sit down?


This is some Too Many Cooks shit right here wtf


How about we stop giving a fuck because it doesn't affect anyone?


I once sent an email to my boss telling him about a proposal, and saying that the potential client "clearly has no idea what's going on."

My boss forwarded the email to the guy asking if he could clarify. We did not hear back.


I hope anonymous backtraces your IP and breaks into your Facebook... Assuming FB isn't already shut down.


I got "rekt" in a cs go game, it still hurts.


SRS'er!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


My girlfriend thinks that she is average, and she also came from the middle of the middle class. Anyway, my girlfriend is phenomenal and she has several guys who can't get over her (who she never even dated). All of that to say, don't sell yourself short.


Op said MIND blowing,  not little boy blowing


I asked my tattoo artist the same question while I was search for something to say.

She had an interesting response, essentially saying "Even the dumbest thing can be meaningful to the person, and serves as a future reminder of that feeling of meaning they have right now"


Maybe they really were spies? After all, they were German. And who the hell does a story about pollution in Henan province? It's the Kentucky of China (no offense to Kentucky it just dosen't seem like foreign press would do a story about pollution ect. in Kentucky).


Just to add info, it was a group of 43 students


"we motherfuckin wrecked dude"

not "we wrecked my car"  not "we wrote off my car" not a care in the world for the vehicle.

not their vehicle.

"heres our car"

not my car.  not Jakes car.  our car

not their vehicle


What if he just really liked your pen? I love some of those new Bic ballpoints, they're so smooth and the flow just perfectly. Gets me moist just thinking about writing with one.


Anyone else closed the link when he/she heard let it go?


I got suspended in fifth grade for telling a kid to "take a chill pill." He was on Ritalin.


didn't read. you have aspergers.


That is fucking gross.


Yeah but AZ is full of fucktards, fucktards, and more fucktards.


Sweet and fake, like splenda.


lik dis if u cry evertim


> pooformance artist.

edit: This is my highest rated comment yet. Thank you all for the upvotes.


Congratulations! You have won the 'Most Insightful, Witty, and Creative comment EVER' award!


From the sound of it, it was more of a liquid.


It's almost like some people come from different countries! With different netflix selections! the humanity!!


People who quit on the train don't make it to the RC plane.

Kind of like how people who quit battle toads on the speeder section don't hang around for the horrors of the water skippers level.


*ahem* inb4 reds? o.o
....
-waits-


The true story is true. They just take certain liberties when basing a movie off of that true story, like creating an entirely new story.


So why is he fighting for a country that hates him?


Yeah, no one walks through those doors ... except every fucking person in NYC.


Get one spread eagle, one bending over, and one pushing her tits together. None of this subtle sexuality bullshit. We all know what the driving force is here. Get that ho mein to show her crab rag poon.


You just described myself and my coworkers.


Thus proving /r/trees is a giant, worthless circlejerk of dipshits. Google images, seriously?


I'll kindly ask you to leave my mother out of this.


> I could probably get someone to come for a few days at least

DAYUMMMM


That's all I have to say about that.


My fucking crush is called Katie... the hardest part is when you get "Seen." But when she does reply it sounds like she's genuinely interested.


With Hotshot jungling, Voyboy is playing perfectly.


Why is it Yelp's fault that people posted bad reviews on your business page? I don't understand the logic here. You can post fake reviews on other closed business's pages too if you so desire.


More importantly, extra fees for tethering. They are basically telling me, I can torrent 5gb of shit straight to my phone, but as soon as I do the same thing with the same volume of data at the same speed but on a device with a bigger screen, I have to pay again for the data I already paid for?

FUCK that, goddamn telcos worse than Nigerian princes


because im not in favor of your shitty country? NO!, you go fuck yourself!


TIL about the term 'beard', and I like it.


Despite all my Cage I am still just a rat full of rage?


Oh ok she knows your reddit username, pull out that throwaway

I kid :)


Also known as 'chemical brothers - hey girls hey boys' i believe...


Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses of douchebags


Don't be a condescending bitch. You didn't specify that you had called them. And often times, in situations like yours, dumbasses choose to "handle it" and then get caught up rather than involve the authorities.


We caught the Boston bomber!


Upvote because it looks like a really good story. I'm not going to read it, because its probably really depressing, but good job anyway!


>I protest, he holds me down harder and says "Yeah, fight. That's a good girl".

Rape. Automatic.

Get tested, and get him in custody. He could try to pull the same shit on someone else.


Typical retort from xians. Can't answer the question, resort to insults.


You see, I'm English. I would never think of tipping a server in an ice cream shop. Why pay more than they are asking for a product? Why wouldn't they just increase prices? Is it to get around tax or something?

Also, the "you tip dependant on the level of service" argument is bullshit; there is instant expectation of a high standard of service that comes with any customer interaction.


I disagree.  I understood and loved it all.  I guess that just makes me smart.  ;)


The cruel twist: if an American makes the inverse mistake on your side of the pond, he can just claim to be James Bond.


>  I never fired my weapon at someone in anger (or allowed those beneath me to).

Good. Because the people you shot were *less* dead than if you had been angry.


It's a f*cked up culture if they hate a person just because he didnt eat his meal at the same time as the others. Team MVP is the first korean team that i dislike now.


Mann Co. is a fictionnal company in a video game where collectible hats take are a thing.


Oh god dammit fuck the licensing just give me something that works!

/exasperated admin and user since 1999


That because we discovered everything before you did, and now it bores us.


The separatists want Russia there.


They're attached to the bottom so you can get wasted while sitting in the water.


Seriously!!!! The evil in this comment is just baffling to me.


*In the arms of an angel...*


Yea. Especially in the bowel area.


you've been saving that one


I like how they added a laugh track* so the average fox news audience member knows it's satire.

Edit: I shouldn't have to explain this; I know its not 'canned', but they still deliberately left in the other's mics, who are quite forcibly laughing.


Me too, until it got me arrested.


I like some sick things.


I asked my Asian girlfriend and she said, "I'm not  your girlfriend nor am I Asian.  If you let me go now I won't press charges because more than anything I just feel sorry for you."

Oh that Asian sense of humor.  I think I've found a keeper.


Such a weak mind... I suppose if I should keep everything simple and literal for you.


With as many great developers giving their support of this project, why do they need kickstarter? Shit, Gaben can spare a few hundred thousand himself.

**Edit:** I get it people! They want publicity and don't want to sign over a share of their company, etc. Fuck I haven't gotten this many replies since the time I talked about getting hit by a car.


You quoted church as if the history of any other major religion isnt far worse than scientology


Rape absolutely fucks both genders. The people who get raped are irreversibly altered. The people who falsely accuse others irreversibly alter lives.

We need three tiers... We need to protect people on both ends, not just the 'historically victimized gender'.

Rape accusation resulting in conviction

Rape accusation not resulting in conviction

False rape accusation.


You do realize that there is a difference between big bulky muscle and actual strength, right?


Then tell the kids "your dad just said that because he didn't want you to know you are each getting dirtbikes and jetskis and new iphones tomorrow", then punch your fucking brother in his fucking face.


Yea sorry, its lame to not want to see these submissions right?? Wondering if they are gay, like pegging, snowballing... im sure these links are very popular in prison.
I just dont choose to see it anymore.


i suspect she'll be able to recognize how cool the project is and she'll make sure it continues.

imagine if this girl was the first person to ever compile a time lapse like this of their entire life. that would be cool as fuck.


It's okay, the 12 years old noticed two words that are used in different ways unrelated to each other in the same IP.


Just look at your facebook. It will have your bday on it! duh!


Its worth the memories now go fuck yourself


pitching a tent is the best slang ever.


WHERE THE HELL ARE THE HEADRESTS!


**YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE PROUD OF YOUR REDDIT NAME**

**NO MATTER WHAT**


is your asshole still dripping from getting buttfucked last nite?

grow the fuck up.


Well the best way to find out if the place was bugged would be to walk around loudly discussing all of your murder victims and where the bodies are hidden etc. Then see how the police react.


Bring a friend and I'll cum on their tits too.


Shout out to all the pears


>up for 4 hours and **was already on the front page**

Prove it.


ONE OF U- Wait, guys, are we using Firefox or Chrome these days?


Now this is truly worthy of an up*boat*.


Can you Imagine what this will do to the vintage gun market?


She is not fap worthy, i've fucked way hotter than that. Haters gonna hate


Really?

I feel bad for people that haven't grown up there.

"I'm going down to the shops."
"How?"
"... Car?"


I take it you are a barista.

PS As a heads up, try to use as proper grammar when you comment as possible. To keep the community clean.


Begging for karma at the end made me feel icky, but a service is a service.


How is having a faggot suckle on your dick flattering? If anything I'd break his fucking jaw for doing something as disgusting and abhorrent as that.


Clearly one is hawking enough to take a picture and complain that they're all on the internet.


making all KINDZZ of gains


Then you could spend all day walking up to people and saying "Give me a dollar" - it's a no-lose proposition.


>I know, I don't get that either. The whole point of Twitter is it's 'public' platform.

You must be new to the internet outside of AOL.


"She wasn't wearing her IR LED-equipped underwear, so she was asking for it."


the world is gonna push russia to launch nukes and war. They might even decide that if they're gonna go down, they'll take the world with them.


you must be working at Amy's Baking Company. >.>


I usually hold Reddit to a higher standard than, say, youtube comments. Need to realize this is the league subreddit and not something more respectful like /r/squaredcircle or /r/morbidreality.


13 episodes a season, 4 seasons, 52 episodes in a deck.


All that is required for an unban is agreeing to follow the rules in the sidebar, and to be gracious when corrected for language.


Agreed. Can you say felony?


I'm criticizing you for calling me a dick for criticizing someone.


The writing in this comment puts Stephanie Meyer to shame.


.... if he has money for groceries, then why is he abusing WIC.....


The prizes are all retarded.  Anything up to 1000 tickets is only worth a couple bucks.  We had a remote controlled car for like 20k tickets that some kid saved up for after going to birthdays all year.  He could've bought it at a store for like $40.


There's a whole explanation on why Public School's do this. I took a screencap of the text: [Here it is](http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/2222/1323799168793.jpg)


He will... he probably thinks he *might* still have a chance.  He just needs to be nicer and more slavelike and then she'll notice him.


Your thread? I'm sorry I didn't realize this was 1nspect_her_gadget.com not THE FUCKING INTERNET YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER FUCK YOU!


*Memento*'s protagonist remembers that he has memory loss.


How do u mean 'at least'? What else did OP do wrong?


By that logic revolutions would never happen, it's clearly not the case.


That's Orochimaru in disguise during the Chūnin Exams arc.


Period sneezes. THAT'S the ewwest part for me.


Did you try entering the numbers 4 8 15 16 23 42?


I would argue otherwise. He's purposefully pissing the police officer off for the sake of doing it.


News:  Asshole gets chance to cure all diseases.  Chooses only malaria.  His name goes down in history books as a selfish prick.


AKA more lies by caucasians


"I say, I SAY! Bad form, old bean."


Am I the only person who assumed that he was struggling to decide whether or not he should run away and leave her ass down there?


Something something shaft.


It's not funny and you're an idiot.

PS: Welcome to the internet, little buddy.


And give em handjobs too! They hate handjobs

edit: my most popular comment on reddit... handjobs to moles


Yea those bike suits are gay!


Of course we know what he looked like, we still have [photographs from back then.](http://d1w7nqlfxfj094.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/WeirdJesus.jpg)


OP is a dumb, whiny chink


When I read the last sentence, all I thought was:

**RUNNING RIOT!**


Just like "poor white trash" dehumanizes all white people?

No.

It only dehumanizes you if you associate with yourself all of the connotations of the word.


Would you consider being ambassador to aliens if they ever visited?


It's pretty much the same game. Certainly not recognizable to someone who never played F3 or FNV.

And to downvoters, go fuck yourself :)


Can you elaborate on that?


Yeah but it's supposed to serve a purpose. It was supposed to stop bots, instead in just stops confused people. If it's bad at it's job it's useless.


If you don't know, you can't afford it.


There are still honor killings, in 2015. These things are reasonable to assume.


Also note, him being stabbed in the ass. These people where not fucking around.


I don't think you comprehended the meme that well.


I'm always a tad suspicious. Asking people their salaries online is a bit like asking guys how long their dicks are.


HOLY FUCK MAN THIS JOKE NEVER GETS OLD HAHAHAHHA. KEEP IT UP GOOD SIR. "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO"!!!! HAHAHA THAT'S A FUCKING CLASSIC!!! NICE.


As was pasty white skin.


Whenever I hear "America" I think of the continent, not country. I found that somehow funny while looking this video with both being American.


I'm just happy someone asked him about making a band called the Algorithms (Al Gore Rhythms).


doubt she read the books, and the movie made it seem earlier than it was


You left out My Date With The President's Daughter????


All hail the wise one!


I did and it was ferocious.

Edit: by did I mean didn't and by ferocious I mean I had a finger in my bum.


They always played the clips from the game that just happened during the breaks in between segments. So this being week 1 doesnt really matter.


Can this also be done outside a nutshell?


My God, it is a joke man.  A joke.  I know you can't spell anything wrong.  That's what makes it funny.  Just learn from this okay?  Conversation is done.  Move on.


You know, reading this in Zapp Brannigan's voice actually worked out pretty well.


Reddit, can we stop carbon dioxide from being made every year? We lose shit-tons of carbon dioxide a year to plants no one needs.

THERE I FIXED IT OKAY


Shining, shimmering, splendid?


Much of the gay sciences are like this.

All sorts of gay marriage historical evidence magically appeared in the past couple of decades.

0 or 1 homosexual behaviors in animals were observed for centuries, now all of a sudden its supposedly everywhere.

A bunch of well meaning people corrupting science and history.


He must have just gone back to when he was five.


so junior high and parents with a cable tv subscription?


His tone skeeved me out.


That seems kinda rascist...


What does? Misusing commas? Me, too.


People who support the killing of 300,000 babies every year *are monsters.*

We treat you like monsters because you ARE fucking monsters.


Nice name! Fan of the band, right?


You do realize it is a Flash based site right?


Not Mufasa guys a fucking stud


The guy in red shorts was pretty much done for so the ref pulled off black shorts before excessive injury was inflicted. Black shorts wouldn't stop.


Fuck I was going to buy this PS2 but when I heard you had to plug it in I was like "fuck that"


thank you for being like the only one not calling me ugly ;]

...but i wouldnt expect any less from reddit; where fat, ugly, world of warcraft playing losers can insult good looking girls to feel better about the fact that their tiny, dirty dicks are hidden underneath their hairy, acne-covered guts.


You need to reassess the situation.


I'm pretty sure anyone who assumes and island was floating in mid-air is a giant dumbass, no offense.


My stomach is so itchy because of all the lice in it!


I'm sorry, were you in contract negotiations? You are going off of reports, he isn't obliged to play for your team. Colts is a far better destination.


I would pay a reasonable amount of dollars to have only that truck and some environments to fuck it up in.


No, she doesn't give a shit about transphobes and their sympathizers, whether they're conscious of their support of transphobes or not.


To be fair, it keeps the stoner posts contained to one subreddit.


You so serious, why you no get serious A's?


Did you try rubbing some dirt on it afterwards? Or maybe walking it off?


Boy, I bet you were right there calling democrats nazis when those black panthers blocked the polling station and the union members assaulted numerous people at various tea party rallies.


Your username is "PutMyDickOnYourHead". I feel like it's only a matter of time.


Women like attention. They don't really want to die.


It says Conde Nast I see it just fine.


You didn't mention Archer. That's a spiderweb force feeding offense right there.


And?  Does that really make a difference?  For anything at all?


This is heart-wrenching.

Why doesn't she want a coke?


Now sing, "baby your a fiiiiiiiirework."

still giving you an upvote &lt;3*

edit: [ALL](https://wtfbabe.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/the-interview-09-meme-bukake-saint-pauly-wtf-watch-the-film.gif) OF THE DOWNVOTES!!!


Given how much he liked enforcing that rule, I wouldn't be surprised if he had nightmares about the day the workforce discovered the Hawaiian loophole.


Your not a person....your a shit flavored lesbian that plays dress up with your dog.... All the spelling errors in the world will not change your right to get married...

shouldn't you be getting back to being a second class citizen?

oh wait the internet is the only place that you have a voice....


Which is why if you walk in on someone semi-nude you should _immediately_ begin removing your own clothing so as to put them at ease.


Welp, you pretty much totally missed the point of the story. Doesn't matter whether you're drunk or not if you're driving at night in a high-crime neighborhood. Plus, I wasn't drunk. I was *somewhat* drunk, can'tyaread?


I respect the amount of time it took you to come up with that abbreviation. You're doing the Lord's work son. :)


yeah and in eighteen years every hole on herbody will hav been dicked


livin' up to your name


*every redditor's parents house would have been.


\#yolo #swagnificient #hatersgonhate

Whoops thought this was twitter.


No. I just think its despicable.

You don't go to someones work for revenge. IDK, maybe I'm the one with shit morals.


Why thank you! I would also like a beer.


Oh god, the thought of loving extra squish almost made me throw up in my mouth. Her getting a little soft is only the beginning, and her SO is smart to want to nip it in the bud before she gets to be one of those people who 'don't know how they got that way.'

Insulting a man's penis would have nothing to do with responsibility, while her gaining weight is entirely her fault.


Install it upside down.


Nurse here. Mortality rate at that age doesn't look so good:( mobility at this age is huge.


Maybe we should work together so the doo-wop group and Lil' Jon can narrate our lives.

doo-wop- "Here comes those guys and Lil' Jon dodo do doo do"

Lil' Jon- "We're in the building, Bitch"

doo-wop- "They wanna find some grooooooceerrries"

Lil' Jon- "We's need suma dat iceberg lettuce, Bitch"

Basically i want my life to be some bizarre sitcom


tried way too hard bro


Hipster doesn't mean anything anymore.


I thought it was very nice of him to fix that for him.


Don't tell Imgur that


Congratulations, your a dick.


They're violent for different reasons. They will claw, bite, kick, punch, charge etc. They're non verbal so it's a way they communicate essentially. They go to public school because in Canada every child has the right to go to school


Corporations, not countries.  Idiot.


Meh, she really just lays there from my experience...


Actually, your equipment took care of you.


Just casually came across a bow and arrow? Where did you live? Skyrim?


That's not the point that I was trying to make. Majority of the people on Reddit who mention 4chan usually hate it and don't even understand that there are other boards than /b/ and that they're all different, so it's a bit hypocritical of Redditors to use 4chan's memes.


I had a dream once that a giant spider was eating my printer and my wife said I was crying in my sleep.


Or, he got in a car and drove out.  Please see any youtube video of driving in Poland to see what I'm talking about.


As an Ancient Egyptian, I can assure you that based on their record the Simpsons are never going away.


irony is that jews would have seen them coming a mile away, we wasps and liberal atheists are too naive and coward to do anything to stop these atrocities. We are still living in the multicultural dream haze like its 1998 all is fine and wealthy


There is a thc swab test isn't there? swab fingers/lips and it changes colour? Or maybe i dreamed it? nutella, There should be. If there isn't i'm going to make it and test it on myself because what i just wrote sounds like a i'm high but im not.


Judging by this comment you are not ready to be a father. You should put the child up for adoption so he can have a chance at a decent life you selfish little piece of shit.


She didn't say she was in Chem class. This could be Arson 101 after all.


Then why muck it up with talk of investing?

Oh, and, just so you know: the people who started most feminists subreddits are guys who enjoy fucking with girls. They're not actually feminists. I know this for a fact - don't ask me to prove it, they'll only get upset that I'm talking about it right now in a public subreddit.


And then someone has to say:"wait,you aren't jim".

Then you give him a party hat and offer him something to drink or chips.


Why were you downvoted for this? I guess some jackass pro-choicer came through here.


*casually bump dicks together*


I'm saying your response was a complete over-reaction, and that you are an idiot.


Either way you're still managing the flying balls of a bunch of dudes.


FYI, I've sent this thread to Beach Camera to alert them of this situation.


**Especially** because you forgot the bubbles


You won't get up votes for repeating the other comment with just one changed word!!!   Up vote if you agree!


lyk dis if u die evertim


Too bad they usually are.


I'm pretty sure it says Campbell's.


I dunno, probably in GameMaker because fuck it. I could do it in C# pretty easily too, or java.

Edit: Because people misinterpreted me, I removed the line that said I didn't realize what his major was (compsci) and I told him we call it "CS" where I come from.


*Redditor arrested for multiple stabbings at local Renaissance Faire.*


My sister-in-law died of a brain tumor at the age of 25. Don't tell me that the US is safely tumor free and it was just natural.


They wanted CJ to swim back to Korea, I can't imagine the things they want GE to do


Good. Don't abuse broken shit and when it's changed it won't effect you. OMG LOGIC :O.


Yea it's called instigation. The preacher instigated him beyond a reasonable point so all blame is on him.


Came here to say this


I bet he's plotting his revenge as we speak. He'll probably do it at 17 so he won't be tried as an adult if he gets caught. Prepare yourself.


"Hey, Ma, call Pa! I'm fixin' to go on down yonder to that there lie-berry and use the computer machines to talk Thunder basketball and I need the truck!"


I have been shooting before yes, I'm not knocking shooting. I also understand that there's a constitutional right to own guns, I just don't see why? It's just asking for accidents to happen or them to end up in the wrong hands.


This is, to the word, what my reply was going to be :)


Favorite Book: "lol i don't read lol.. =p"


"Having spent quite a bit of time in the black community" ... are you serious with that statement? You fucking biggot.


was that before or after you gave them AIDS ?


Both are an equivalent sin, and children can be coerced into consent.


"I can turn water into wine but ain't NOBODY turning an Escort into a muhfuggin Scion"

\- Jesus


the guy who *started* the war and based his entire re-election campaign on *not* "cutting and running"? yeah, right.


I'm afraid I don't think the T-rex is able to give himself a happy ending


My reply that's buried from the former mods:

http://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/2utp5i/its_a_morbid_winter_as_a_mod_stages_a_coup_in/coc64eg


"I'll just head over to reddit for some light morning reading before I start my day."

-Me 2 minutes ago


No, I was totally just kidding. The intelligent men I've encountered over the years whom I've argued with and decisively defeated were creampuffs compared to....like, a, like, smart, like, woman.


Too busy banging your sister to masturbate to be honest


If only there were blood.


And when you see them nervously glancing at your copy of 'The Beginner's Guide to Human Sacrifice', give them a knowing wink.


You're an ass.  You're either lying, or you frankly have no idea what your brother's companies did or what their products were.  Did you ever actually have a job?


Simpsons.

Family Guy.

American Dad.

According to Jim.

Flinstones


How do you know CowGoesMoo isnt a ghostofnolibs sock puppet account?

Read for yourself the intentions of your leader:

TheGhostOfNoLibs 9 points 2 hours ago

"**Yep. Perhaps we can get some subreddits banned**"

I would start looking at ghostofnolibs.  He is a professional troll who is able to think up a scheme like this false flag attack.


That explains all of the sword accidents I have when I'm wearing women's clothing.


downvoting for stupidity


Yeah but your family will.


Tell that to all the stuff in Vault of Glass that wasn't cheese that got fixed.

Or all the stuff all over the game that has gotten fixed and improved.


>Brace yourself. Dick pictures are coming.

FTFY


Would want to see... you know, for science.


Hyde got most of them into it.


Actually, the CPU is quite clearly in its socket on the motherboard, otherwise the water cooling pipes wouldnt be connected to the damn thing.


This is a safe place...


Not exactly no. Basically I'm saying that his cable management has not interfered with his business


This is a 7000 dollar suit!


Why? They don't care about those. These students are going to be there for 3-4 years, and they don't every get to see their team in a bowl game. They are being punished for not doing anything. It's ridiculously dumb.


**REWARD**

CRUMPLY DOG UNDER MY BUTT

HELP ME REACH IT

*If found call (663) 324-6711*

**NINE BUCKS**


What in the everloving fuck does that have to do with a blog post advocating domestic violence?


It's typically restricted because hats can be used to identify gang members, or hide faces. Not saying they're good reasons, but they're reasons.

Edit: great point, hats are also restricted because it can be considered disrespectful.

Edit2: I guess also cheating... none of these seem like really good reasons for no hats at any time...


Yeah, I must have spent almost five minutes reading and typing responses.  That's five minutes of my life I'll never get back!  The *horror*!


If the British had to study every one of their colonies that had a revolution, they would be in history classes until they were 30.


Actually that cat is pretty much useless.  It has no mice chasing skills, no other skills at all.  It can't even cover it's own shit in the litter box.


I think I'd rather my stuff just be gone than have to see photos of the thief using it.


Women manipulate men far more than the other way around in terms of trading sex for stuff. There are definitely women supporting manipulative guys but that is more rare. TRP is funny because most women would never consider anything like that.


There were two Sharks, the Shark on the right(house) had his moves/choreography down.  The Shark on the left looked Stoned... some people have suggested that Snoop Dogg had something to do with this.


Lol wow. I love how people are bitching about the **interior** of the car when the exterior of the car (i.e. the car itself) looks like a drunken chimp designed it. Redditers have no taste.


That's too complicated.  Just tell them they fit so well because we came from monkeys and monkeys love bananas.  Checks two arguments at once.


hahaah what a shocker. A drugged out chemical fiend. I didn't expect that one AT ALL.

Don't even respond in text. I already know you're as dumb as a handful of Georgia clay.

I argue verbally. I already know you don't.

Skype: nirvgorilla


I'm giggling just thinking of that.


Nice job hijacking what Seth Rogen said.


I still can't figure out how he managed to pay off all those zoo employees.


she's fat as fuck, has to do something to make up for it


Reliable sources are saying that Disney are in talks with Nickelback about doing the soundtrack. Quote from Disney:

>We really like the idea of giving Tron 3 a fun, rock and roll feel. Nickelback has defined rock and roll in the 21st century and we're proud to have them compose the soundtrack for Tron 3.

Edit: I am just the worst kind of person


Yeah sorry, I have a hard time taking a mans opinion for serious if he can't even  take care of it's physical shape and overall health. I mean cool if you do, free country.

It does have to do with everything thought, personal discipline matter.


Fucking legend.

Thanks for the Pirate Party.


I said it wasn't a good joke.  I didn't miss out on all they hyperbole, but for your sake, I apologize for being so stupid.  Hope the rest of your day goes well.


To be fair, they're both victimless crimes.


I don't *care*. It's just one of those things that makes me Picard facepalm.


it's not selfish if you give it to everyone.


Wow, everyone thinks you're being serious..


In my 60s. Old enough that humor from the thirties was still current when I was a kid.


If you hurry, you can have a look before it 404s.

http://boards.4chan.org/b/res/425098480


but without the facial hair and foul stench


for fuck's sake, you used up an emergency operator's time to ask where the nearest vet was. You could be responsible for a person dying. You don't call 911 unless you need a fire engine, ambalamps or police car. Ever.


Yeah...except the real reason is because reddit likes Firefly and hates Larry the Cable guy. As cool as that might be, I'm pretty sure with or without Michio Kaku there wouldn't be any complaints.


Props for sticking to his guns though


Proof: http://imgur.com/B5c8u


Cats also don't speak English. It's not like the cat understood that the person didn't want him to touch the hazelnut. From the cat's perspective, you're just putting something in front of it, so maybe it's worth checking it out.


Right? This is an *exile.* Who the fuck decided that we can legally exile people in the US as punishment?


Are you really still pretending that this isn't fake?

Come on, man.  Give it up.


If God's plan doesn't involve me jacking my dick raw he should have given me T-Rex arms.


Dammit, you stole my comment :p


>but they don't act like the prima donnas we see in other sports.

Uhhh yeah they do


I agree, which is why it's a shame that they tacked on the 'please upvote', forcing me to downvote it.


"Can I... can I touch your hair?"


Found the SJW

EDIT: M'downvotes? NOOO!!!


YES I've been banned for a very similar thing.

Girl posted a picture of her tinder profile. So she "swiped right" indicating she liked this guy. He writes to her, something normal like "hey how are you", and she just replies back "no". He keeps trying, to no avail.

Well then why did you swipe right if you don't want to talk to him? Banned.


I used to contribute to pun threads but then I took an arrow to the knee!


And they died like little bitches


Your mother needs a source. What are you retarded? The Soviets doctored photos regularly to keep officials they killed out of the history books.


Are you fucking kidding. That's awful. Do you know what ended up happening to all the parties involved? The baby, the patient, the two who raped her?


Being 11 isn't an excuse. Maybe if he was 5.


What is wrong with this country?


I don't understand why every shitty parent story gets a suggestion to visit raised by narcissists. Not every example of a mother being a horrible partner means they are a narcissist.


this is pretty much your only option at this point, you're fucked bro


Wah. 99.99% of all species that ever lived went extinct. How special is our time?


hey man. it's okay. this is not a malicious crowd for the most part, and i'm sure everyone appreciates the opportunity to ask questions. PS, you do not look 800 lbs to me in that picture. I'd have guessed 500 tops. cheers :)


I used to get verified by the mods, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


I had had enough, I decided to make...a change!

(cut to clothing store)

(OP kicks door in)

"Gimme all the tank tops you have!!"

Seriously though, OP, well done.


No, he shits against a *glass* window.  Do people from the northeast regularly say that or is it just Bam?

Edit:  My comment was a reference to that particular scene where Bam Margera runs through the hotel screaming "Raab just shit against a glass window".  I thought it was silly and redundant, it would seem that ~54 of you agree with that sentiment.


Fuck you, have an upvote


Nah man, they just seem like faggots. Not the gay kind.


"People should not throw stones regardless of housing situation."


You are not serious, right?


"I thought that the rape scene went really well"


> that got it's penalty statement changed.

When they actually change things I call that making a new rule.


Makes sense. Probably sold his soul to gain the ability to fuck the shit out of bears.


there is always tearing, assholes where not made biologically for sex like a vagina is


OOOH MY TURN

1) Coordinated synergistic strategy solutions.

2) I can never think of a second thing when making lists.

3) Optimized network dynamics.


Shame this only works one way... if he were trying to collect from her, this "petty revenge" would be harassment.


This is solid fucking gold.


^ This

Can you imagine how embarrassed they feel after taking of the blind?


Fat Amy thinks she's entitled to this hostile attitude because she's fat. Everybody feels a little bit sorry for her and lets her get away with it.


Mayonaise does not belong on burgers. You might as well suggest serving a frozen boca burger on a bed of cabbage. Ok, so that might be uncalled for, but mayo on burgers is not good even if Dave Thomas tells you so.


"Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2000 of something."

EDIT: RIP Mitch Hedberg


you guys only have like 500 more subs  then you had a year ago lmao


Why should he have respect for the community? If he loses in a 40 minute macro game everyone still says "LOLOL IDRA IS SO FUCKING TERRIBLE HE MAD HE MAD"


One time my aunt was peeing in an outhouse at night and a daddy-long legs fell on her lap. slowly she aimed her flash light to the ceiling...and saw hundreds.


... and we only wear our hair up once a week.... so I guess you've chosen today.


Coldplay sucks............explained


You haven't paid for WinRar and you know it.


KG headbutted Dwight after Dwight pushed him.

KG got suspended for standing up for himself.


Wow that's a really mean thing to say!


I'm guessing your the type of person who uses the term eurosnob. His soccer knowledge is one of the best on the planet. If your not in jest you are just like the kids back home that think following a non league thing is doing God's work. Fuck off.


Pretty sure none of those are how you spell drug dealing.


world of warcraft?

lol.


This is the most fucked up thing I've read on here. I'm so sorry you had to put up with that.


I don't have any 'buddies on Stormfront". I don't speak of government shills.

Also, a quick perusal of [your profile](http://en.reddit.com/user/basementdad) clearly shows that whenever you have a political thought, it is almost invariably aligned with Israel or Jewish ethnic interests.

As usual, you are lying.


"I have the weirdest b'zornaxx right now."


I see there are no comment replies to that, which is good as there is no adequate reply. So ill just let everyone know that a comment here is completely un-necessary.


> Its a win-win for all involved.

Except the deer...

Edit:  guys I meant because he dies, not because he gets eaten

Edit 2:  whatever, I wouldn't consider myself lucky if I got hit by a car and then died


NOT technique.

"Technical skills"


To be fair, it was an issue of *Hustler* and you were masturbating on to the security camera.


Uh, what? First of all, [fuck you](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=troll).  Second of all, Good Guy Greg is an accepted meme now? Because of some lame story in r/trees? Fuck this community.


*LESS than eight hours?!?* what are you a machine?!


It's a problem because people use it, 'welcoming of LGBT!' and then hate on trans people. We need to get it right, and starting here is a good place.

Additionally it means the title is outright wrong, because there's (according to the military, and if they find out they're wrong it's a dishonorable discharge) no such thing as a trans service member.


No, Odie is an expression of the lasagna's subconscious.


I think the point was that a decent parent wouldn't have the thought of taking a picture cross their mind.


Yeah. They're on the bottom, where the little planes feed.


We are on the cusp of having technology render the very premise of supply vs demand obsolete, and only our deathgrip on economics impedes our progress in that area.


I can't emphasize enough how important this is.


Twist
>alpha bitch actually man
>thatsapenis.gif
>directed by m night shamalamon.


It's not boy's hole, it's boy's soul!!


You stupid fuck.

NOTHING in the scenario that I just posted in my comment, resembles ANYTHING to do with the Eric Garner situation.

Garner was murdered by those cops.

This guy is a violent thug who DESERVES to be executed.


Oh, that's a big secret.

Heheheheheh!

You will find out in prequel.


But she also stated that a guy interviewed was introverted? Something doesn't add up


Wake up, slap her on the ass and leave singing "Toodaloo motherfuckers!"


Ya, I cried when she died too.


I was expecting this story to end with them having sex on the couch.


Yeah, but it runs like shit and lags to hell...mostly due to EA servers though

Edit: REALLY?!?  Welcome to Reddit when you're down voted for speaking the truth.


Apart form the English *shakes fist angrily*


>Ah yes, le male pintrest.

FTFY :D


I hate it because it implies that I can't take care of myself or make the right decision about the guys I choose to date. :/


Do you ever get tired of saying honorless?

You must have a very small brain to go along with your tiny shit covered fag penis, because your vocabulary is obviously very limited.

Typical uneducated honorless demorat.


Upvote for unmentionables. Do you raise your pinky in the air while you drink tea too?


Too bad you're "experienced" in doing the incorrect thing.  It must suck to be wasting your time doing something you assume is right but is actually wrong.


You laugh, but that guy just scored himself an iPhone 4S.


It's tobacco nicotine.  They extract it from tobacco.  It's radioactive like tobacco.


We were just wrestling, I swear.


Obama is doing a great job.


No, but it is funny as shit.


Exactly ! Getting naked in the bedroom and getting fucked with multiple guys is nothing to do with reality. Pretending to be what you are not is reality. Height of Insecurity !


Your collar is probably too tight, not the tie.


I have no idea. I do know that it's not that hard to do though.


He apparently needed to check her temperature with his thermometer throughout the night to ensure that she hadn't gone cold.


Det är inte satir (så det visar ingenting), det är bara politisk propaganda som försöker få det att se ut som att Åkesson inte är rasist och att det är synd om honom för att resten av partiet är fyllt av rasister (när det egentligen bara är partiets officiella politik som visar sig, som Åkesson självklart står för).


I like the original better.  My wiener is too small for a larger tush.


well if they're being raped that should one serious downer

I can't keep erect if I hit my small toe on something hard, I can't imagine rape being less disagreeable


I like to use mine mainly for the pretentiousness.


Scumbag Mojang...
Announces this will be added to 1.4...

adds it in 1.7


I didn't make it that far, but I can't imagine it was. I mean its 3 goddam pieces. How hard can that be?!?! But I suppose when you are exhausted (that sequence rarely shot before 10 pm) and full of adrenaline, even simple tasks seem difficult.


Huh, who cares? Hollywood is full of Jews or liberal Christians who've shunned their good faith for hoax new-age religions like Buddhism.

The only relevant actor is Mel Gibson. He'd have been excellent as Neo.


You misspelled "restraining order."


If he was rich he would have bought it for himself


I was all set to downvote then noticed the name.


its just friendly banter m80


Yep. You'd receive something and it was expected that you would give something of equal use/value back. When the natives did not receive anything in return, they'd grab their item on the way out.


I'm pretty sure that's trolling.


>we rig fire hoses over the side

I couldn't help but think you do this so the pirates will think they've found a "rope" with which to board the ship--then you turn on the water and they go flinging around while *[Yakety Sax](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg)* plays over your PA speakers.


He was actually trying to dunk.


Not particularly, I guess the "loud meathead at the gym" was just a stereotype he wanted to avoid.


Technically speaking what you're doing is against Reddiquette, much like your comment. The point of upvoting / downvoting something is to judge whether something is enhancing the conversation / direction in which the discussion is heading, not to show your personal afflictions.

The more you know!


Were all just straight guys waiting for prince charming


No, the problem is this "culture" that blacks have. Their community punishes hard work and rewards idiocy.

You have all sorts of people that come here and excel at life (Indians, Arabs, Jews, even blacks from jamaica tend to do very well.

The majority of the native blacks here just act like fucking idiots and then cry about racism when someone points out that they're being idiots.


*chuckles*

About 6 inches, hard.


maybe his whole yelling at people like an uneducated homeless person schtick wasn't all sorts of quaint and charming to everyone, and someone let him know.


JUST PUT THE NEXT ONE IN THE SERIES WITH THE SIDE SUGGESTIONS YOUTUBE I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER LOOKING FOR IT!!!!


Really? downvoted for this? losers out there


Just push them to Canada and the jobs will just trickle down


Yeah, glad he can leave that dumpster fire in Buffalo behind and start fresh with an AFC powerhouse like the Jags.


Risk of sex is a tragedy, it truly is.


not sure if trolling or....


Yeah, it was probably his fault they even got divorced.


Hi Willy! Long time no see!


It's a science they've perfected.


Yea, we can.  I'm from NC and he is why I will never cheer for the Panthers...until he and Rivera are gone forever!


You go *out* to drink and browse Reddit?


The only fucking thing more annoying than Christians are atheists.


You might as well just ask for karma.


Guzzled the whole damn can of 'em and downed a bottle of tequila as a chaser, more likely.


Yeah. Nobody reads and gets away with it in THIS neighborhood.


2 hours before you yet 204 less karma


Fantastic? Did you even read it? You are probably never going to be able to afford your own home!!!


Neither of them have broken 500.


That WAS pretty funny.

Worth the weight.


I wonder whose it was originally then...


I just have to say, in this thread full of borderline sex crimes and often disgusting recounts, it's nice to have a PG rated comment every now and then.

Of course, I'm assuming there's no hidden meaning to "pasta moustache".


lol looking at the number of downvotes, it was fairly obvious.


He whispered in her ear, just before he snapped her neck:

"Your mom has got it going on."


You're about as brave as the /r/SubredditDrama invasion force.


Dude, you can't reply to President Obama and type "ejaculated". Dick move bro.


You lucky son of a bitch.


Did they get married too?


All the jews should of been gassed with breathable oxygen.


"It's not about money. It's about sending a message."


I guess it's a long story. People don't really like us for deleting their stuff :( No sleep lost, but this used to be one of my favourite subreddits.


GET OFF MY BACK TREBEK!  Or "Chaim Trebekovitz," which is his real name.  Just sayin.


so you admit that you like getting your asshole fucked?


That is the funniest explanation of bio-hydraulic locomotion I have ever heard.


downvote for the inane comment


Their response: yo dawg, I heard you like parents so we're your parents.


then might i suggest you start a useless protest...OCCUPY GUNNIT!


This kid may be the next Buddha.  Very zen!!


No touching allowed on reddit you faggot


That's the thing with us men, sometimes half our brain gets an erection.


> why is it that you feel disgusted or dirty?

She doesn't have the emotional connection with him.


Next time I find myself at a new persons house, this is my plan.


It's not a misleading title because small scale rain collection isn't exempt in all states that have a rainwater collection ban. It's still illegal in Washington and Utah, for example.


Nude pics of Angelina Jolie?  Here's a cup of John Voights sperm.

Edit: Also available, of you're just looking for a generic nudie mag, heres a cup of sperm from a suburban father whos provided nothing but the best for his children.


Keep getting your opinions from comedians.

If the democrats hadn't forced through a healthcare bill that is unconstitutional in the most disgusting way, I wouldn't want the republicans stopping everything else they want to do.

But now it's time to stop everything the left wants.

The left and barry have been the most divisive group ever to hold office.


>But it's raining, and the cones are half off

This is where I lost it.


i hope so. But he did seem really serious about it.


It's like he knows he's the only person funny enough to say that and get away with it but he's kind of surprised that he can.


Frickin good guy Greg over here :D

I'll have to check torchlight out for sure.

I just peaked over at my phone. Wait time so far is 1:05.31. Pretty sure they closed at 8 pacific time  so they better be working overtime!


Nah, you were just excited. And I bet your meeting was one of the more memorable for him.


Beastmaster said that.

Edit: The "-name" is meant to symbolize who said what FYI.

Re-edit: It's still not funny, but you'll get enough redditards up-voting it regardless.


right?? i just want to lose enough time to pay off my student loans and buy a car. it doesn't even have to be a new car.

**edit:** to be clear, i don't need a half a year. if given the choice, i'd do ~~two~~ [three](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2v6z57/if_you_could_sell_years_of_your_life_for_1m_per/cofav1t) weeks, i think.


You should know better to not post comments such as yours, then.


Then you die from high-fives and hugs.


Try reddit.com/r/xxfitness for the ladies section, Nancy. Im sure our posters friend didnt really mean he was an idiot. He probably believed he was right and in any situation a dumbass male who thinks he is right will resort to petty insults to back himself up...just like I did there


The real solution is to shoot two deer!


Gagahahahahahahahaha holy crap this guy, this guy is the funniest


Over many years as Ra's al Ghul, he slowly evolves into a master jedi.


My point, for the second time, is that what he's calling equality isn't equality. He's saying they only want it when it favors them. If it only favors one person then it's not equality. I don't know how to make my point any clearer.


Sorry op but I agree. You have to bone her. Good luck.


You've just won the internet. Congratulations.


BREAKING NEWS, LOCAL MAN WEARS T-SHIRT

MORE AT 11


I was drunk, my inhibitions were down... I told my sister that but she doesn't think it's an excuse


When I was a kid, I loved the *shit* out of "The Thirteenth Year." About the kid who learned his mom was a mermaid and he started turning into a mermaid when he turned 13. He had arm fins and shit and I thought it was the *coolest thing*.


We have, and we chose a higher path.


Yankerknobbers* and Wiggyjits*, sorry UROPE


Some men just want to watch the world burn.
> Edit: [Burn!](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/burningmoney.jpg)


According to the *Daily Mail*, they don't.


...

yeah giving your opponent card advantage is always good


proper response: "gosh, don't do that! I thought I was in major trouble! great coffee though!"

He probably doesn't realize that doing things like that scare the poop out of people.

or he does and he has a wonderful sense of self humor.


Good luck fitting iNcontroL into a player booth.


What ever bro, Kate Upton will respond to my chocolate/semen grams one of these days.


Yeah.....way to reiterate what I just fucking said.....


Who cares, let em have them.

EDIT: I can't believe this is the comment that took my karma OVER 9000.


Only in r/politics could something this wrong in terms of civics get to be the top comment.


Google returns several links (GameFaqs, EnGadget, IGN, etc) that says this is true.


>Westboro Baptist is so fucked up in the head and they don't listen to reasoning. Arguments are only one-sided when it comes to them. They believe their own ways and there is no changing that.

Same holds true for Michael Moore which is why i ignore everything he does and says.


You're tacky and I hate you


Fuck off - just and fuck off.

Apple is a steaming pile of shit - a massive, massive fuck wad on life.

I look at ANYONE with an Apple product and think what a sad, sad sack of shit that person is - you.


Students in the US everywhere are laughing...


Yeah what the fuck don't report people from breaking rules. fuck m1lk I bet he isn't even asian.


they must feel threatened by carvings that predate their "peaceful" religion by thousands of years.


The ole' Reddit switch-a ... oh fuck it.


Nice try, Michael Bublé.


Agreed. Beating a child is the best way to reason with them. They'll grow up knowing that violence is a good tool to get what they want.


He must've really liked chocolate.


Thanks for you arrogant, unhelpful, and condescending advice.


*insert generic he so ugly joke here*


Can you say, "Happy Fucking Birthday?".......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
... Great!


With a name like Schultz, you should really distance yourself from everything "Nazi" including grammer... You ancestor's, there in the showers with the zyklon B..


You're doing god's work.


Logged in to upvote this comment, you great sir! christianbalethrowingupvote.gif


Life would be far more interesting if things just exploded at random. This is a step in the right direction.


"Ooooooh they would get so steaming mad at me. It's nice to have the high moral ground and full control over a situation."

Ahh the embodiment of customer service.

Make someones day job so shitty that they take joy out of 'being in control' over a stranger for 5 seconds.  People shouldn't take those places, but your phrasing makes me realize you are just kind of petty.


WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH YOU AND PENIS STORIES!! you've ruined my fucking life man. Congratulations.


throwing shit at officers is ~~assault~~ battery ~~too~~.

edit: for accuracy


>This will probably get buried, but..


That could be, but the title is misleading at best.


Upvote for you sir, because I feel exactly the same way about the girl I'M marrying next month. Hooray for wifey boobs.


And they're both faggots


>I can't help **butt** wonder...

ಠ_ಠ


Well yeah, you're suppose to downvote comments when they're wrong, which yours completely are, so I don't really see your point...


"Just wash your face every night, it will go away." Right. Thanks for your brilliant tips that I could never have thought of before you came along. People with really bad acne have tried fucking everything, and we proally wash our face and hands more than you do. My acne is gone now but the scarring isn't going anywhere.


Unclothed though, that extra skin. :/


I live in the town where Joseph Smith found the golden tablets. The hill he found them on is close enough to where I can hear them singing at night during pageants. Every year my town fills with Mormons for the pageant. I hate Joseph Smith.


What, cuz he's black you didn't think he could articulate?


nothin much what's up with you, dog?


I like how you downplayed the whole Hitler/Nazi/Holocaust bit by just calling them "the opposing side in WW2".


Reckless Homicide. Fell asleep driving a car, foot went down on the accelerator and case law states anything over 30 over speed limit is deemed reckless no matter the circumstances.


Thanks for telling us. I laughed hard at how pathetic you are, no one fucking cares.


Greg the ball boy is already at the bottom of the Charles river


1 second.

come on douchebag. READ NEGRO THINK NEGRO

being tasered is when you get tasered... the fucking spikes fly out and stick in you and they juice you until you fall.

This guy was zapped for less than a second using a test fire.

READ YOU FUCKING NIGGERS THINK YOU FUCKING NIGGERS IT WILL CURE YOUR NIGGERDOM!!!


Dude, what a shitty friend you were.


You haven't done much research into it if you believe those numbers or think "that guy" committed atrocities any worse than what all three major powers involved in the war did. Google up the communist death camps, and firebombing of Dresden. It's going to hurt to let go of your western indoctrination of history but you'll be a wiser man for it.


False, this has never happened ever.


I see you're a whore.

How much?


In Virginia the act of pointing a gun, loaded or not, is assault with a deadly weapon.


There are better mmos for $0 out there. You can hardly get worse mmo than GW2, most boring game in existence.


a couple of positions won't work if that was the case, thank god cause i love riding guys and that would not be possible like this.


i fucking love this subreddit 😂😂💯


Sir I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. Your words of wisdom have opened my eyes to the resentment/contempt issue.  This question "Do you discuss the issue or the person?" is pretty profound.  Even though its a subtle disagreement I do understand what you mean when you analyze an issue and figure out it truly is the issue or the person.


A car does something stupid on a surface intended for cars: Dumbass

A cyclist does something stupid on a surface intended for cars: Double dumbass


What's the best part of fucking twenty-eight year olds?

There's 20 of them.


Or he could tell Huk to worry about his own stream/life...

I didn't see this or the Cella stream, but in both cases it seems like Huk was white knighting around telling people what they should or shouldn't be doing. I dont know how close Destiny or Cella are with Huk but I wouldn't appreciate that crap coming form an acquaintance personally


You think he could have popped it with a rough fuck?


its only fun if you get away with it. i once threw a chair at a guy and he got detention for pissing me off plus he had to apologise for me throwing the chair at him.


"It's not strictly necessary to amputate the patient's finger, but it'll be funny as fuck..."


There's a phrase that describes that behavior...

"bitch move".


This is very true. Some people get lucky and the first friends they have (or first girlfriend eve,) stick with them their whole lives, but some people grow up to be different people. I guess when your friendship is based on recess and pokemon cards, that doesn't mean you'll end up with similar politics, personalities, or compatible drug addictions.

I just made myself sad about growing up.


Yes they are. Looks like you haven't actually met any stoners. Stoners are actually some of the stupidest, ignorant people I've ever met, and when I told one I was volunteering for PETA they called me a hippie. Fuck stoners. Nothing against you. :)


You clearly don't have a dick


**What if I told you all that there was a subreddit you could go to that, using a complex mathematic algorithm predicts which threads will make it to the front page?**

**Ever wonder how Karmanaut/POTATO_IN_MY_ANUS/Apostolate etc got their karma? Became famous?**

**Check out: /r/risingthreads**

**Previously unavailable to the public**

**Enjoy your Karma!**


Your ethics are bad and you should feel bad.


Congrats, your families claim to fame is having a super hot ancestor. Just goes to show how shallow humans are I guess.


when I was in the Marine Corps I had a rackmate whose last name was Queear. Instead of laughing, I just asked him how to pronounce it. It's pronounced "queer".

:|

that sucks.


It landed right in front of him.
I don't see how it's his fault.


What the fuck did I just masterbate to?


>God, that guy is such a giant douche.

Who are you again ?


I'm an atheist but man do I love relevant bible verse


I'd like about 50 downvotes, please.


Well can you at least tell me if your mother is hot?


Upvote for using the correct pronoun.


I love those calls. It makes me feel pretty secure if something does happen to go wrong.


Your mom just wants to spend the last moments, in which you share her last name, before you share FMIL's last name.

Please please let her.

... from a mom with adult daughters...


I'd rather he burst into tears, sobbing that it's too late.


Chick with dick == man


For once in a very long time, I wholeheartedly agree with you. [Have some mind bleach!](http://mindbleach.org/)


> What exactly does "live straight lives" mean?

Wife, kids, white-picket fence and occasional gay sex in the public bathroom...


* Ctrl + Direction keys scrolls the typing cursor by words
* Ctrl + Shift + Direction keys highlights whole words at a time

Variations on a theme. I'm sure there are more that I don't know about

Edit: Left out "Direction keys" to the second shortcut. MB


you have shitty taste.


Plus, you'd be carrying around a stick with your coworkers piss on it.


Meh. It is still cooler than if she didnt have the tattoo at all.


"Would you club me? I'd club me. I'd club me hard. I'd club me so hard."


how dare you make me look up the word bereaved!


The rule I used to work by in kitchens was if you fucked up the meal everyone else had first dibs on it. So you couldn't purposefully screw things up for yourself to eat.


they like things like this.


>Would that I were made of upvotes. I would give myself to you.

What a beautiful upvote....


Nope.

It's how we shame women for saying "I wish guys could be more like you" while never ever ever even accidentally dreaming of the possibility of going out with a guy like you.

These women line up to get treated like shit by assholes, then whine about it to the non-assholes, only to line up for the next asshole to come along.


Do you actually own a bear costume?


They did do their homework... but they don't know that it isn't called the "Democrat Party"? It is the "Democratic Party". (Last sentence of page 1).


"My spine is so happy!"


Noooooooooooooooooooooooobody gives a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Downvoted for being such a try hard piece of shit. Fuck off about who originally made it. Nobody cares. At all.


fuck her she's a juggahoe


/downvoting for the sake of downvoting.


"We had to call the Department of Wind and put in a direction request."


pretty dam good ..lol old joke though


My first thought of was the Pharaoh that left a child to have no communication with anyone to try and hear what the original language of humans was and other [Language deprivation experiments](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_deprivation_experiments)


There's no hate. I'm just being honest about it. Getting his hopes up is mean.


What? You're on your cell phone having a conversation with her.


just one of the reasons just is now the Ex ha


That is bizarre.  I have never heard of Germans forcing their way into someplace they don't belong.


Seriously, let's all take a moment to circle jerk about Nintendo, a company most people have forgotten about the existence of because of their refusal to make products consistent with the decade we're in.


Southern Ontario will rise again.


~~I came here to say this. I troll people IRL all the time like this- ~~
~~An example is something that happened today-~~

~~>"hey afbaiuwe, ever heard of Pink Floyd?"~~

~~ "no, who's he he sounds like a fag"~~

~~>"Dark side of the moon?"~~

~~ "Did he ever do anything with Wiz?" ~~

~~ >"No" ~~

~~ "He must suck dick then, bitch. Listen to real music- TAYLOR GANG"~~


I feel more like the pressure is the OTHER way.  People have this idea that Mormons are monolithically boring and/or creepily Stepford-y.  But in my experience, that's bull, and Mormons are as diverse in most ways as anybody else.  I think it would be cool if people figured that out.

So I just try to be myself.


> The only reason one would have for trying to claim they are is due to intolerance.

You're narrow minded to allow only one possibility.  Generally things don't change gender, and generally it's pretty obvious who's a guy and who's a girl.


Pretty fucking much. My cursive looks like a 5 year old with Palsy wrote it using their non-dominant hand.


I used to make the same mistake as OP, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


yes. If a woman seems to be afraid of you when she walks toward you in a dark alley just scream "DON'T WORRY! I HAVE A MASSIVE ERECTION!"


A least im not an ugly whore posting half naked pics on the Internet to get up votes from random ass people.


Now all I can see in my head is you with the poor robot chained up or locked in a room.

"Returning to... lobby... lobby... lobby... lobby..."


Lol yeah ur right the trees mods do suck dick


Trust this man; he's a doctor


>there're

do u even words


Sorry I didn't, I was out of control that day.


Dude. That is a ripoff of a blatantly christian song. Don't.


I like the way he poses awkwardly after each shot


We're talking series here, not a particular movie. Note the amount of movies mentioned in the original post. Godfather, Star Wars, Dark Knight Series, all great movies.


Walk in and quit from jobs you never had to begin with.


>God give that guy a break

You mean "God give us brainwashed fans a break"? Doubt tb reads every comment on reddit

>starcraft is his fucking hobby

...for a hobby he sure spends a lot of time traveling around the world casting top-tier games

>and the community would be a significant amount smaller were it not for him.

Because we need more of the WoW demographic.


The baby molts and emerges from its old shell, leaving behind its old skin, like a cicada.


Demanding some verification doesn't make you a putinbot (at least, shouldn't)...


happens to the best of us


You mean the fucking dinosaur? Holy shit, I think you are actually retarded, wow...


Me too...  and I'm a dude.


It's the name equivalent of 'swag'.

James Franco.


Yet our media still manages to publicly humiliate people on trial who haven't even been proven guilty yet.


Do not pick techies in ranked game
Pick normal heros but no techies


Same with Macauly Culkin


If I were your boss, I would simply have replied "It is not anywhere in the code, but since it is perfectly reasonable, **I am asking you to do it**."

I get the whole "my boss is a dick" thing, but come on, employees who won't tuck in their shirts when the boss asks them to?

EDIT: to close quotation marks.


Is this really that crazy though? I mean, I think pretty much every musician/actor/actress/athlete/public figure has a publicist and management team that try to shape their image.


Why do I doubt that will happen any time soon?


I let mine live in the yard for the first few years so the cat wouldn't get jealous


):

why are people on ths sub so mean


25% of prisoners ARE in prisons. The other 75% are too.


I politely disagree.  If she didn't want to have sex she should have just said no again and not consented with her body language.


I learned very quickly to not start "your mama" jokes when your own mother is dead.


LOL
>when a tear gas canister hit her in the face.


Come on... brosquito.


I'm not even sure how to reply to that. Especially since you no reasoning behind your statement.


This is why you can't buy a house, OP. Because you rented a movie and never payed.


Whoooooooooooooooooooosh, an entire religion went right over your head, with Christianity, the race isn't important as the message, only jews are obsessed with the blood purity of their racist faith

edit ANd all you downvoters are obviously jews or ignorant of apartheid Israel's racist laws that give automatic citizenship to anyone of jew blood while denying equal rights to everyone else


Because he drinks a product of India while listening to German music from an American mp3 player?


cam chancellor would be banned with that logic.


Likes shorter women with a sense of humor, animal lover.


> Shes probably already one of them.

Its not a contraction.


I like how you talk. Say something else, please.


Aiyo is this wat Amercangmohs complain about these day leh? Cheyyy they so kurang ajar... why u not worry about other thing lor. Kena bang!

In sg we have not many crack on walkway but when I tapao makan step get sibeh small and only take two step also can -_-

Ok these post sabo me lor also on **9gag** yesterday lah ^ ___ ^

Edit: CHEYYY I DOWAN DOWNVOTE ALSO CAN )-:<<<<<


Holy fuck!

My jaw dropped on this one.


Yes, by saying "I have no clue. Watch this DVD."


Hotel bellman invents cold fusion, more at 11.


i always downvote people like you, this is retarded, annoying and gets posted 100 times and people think they are super hilarious and original


I, too, can do basic arithmetic.


> You think Comcast and Time Warner have competition?

I have never heard of a single person who literally only had the option to have Comcast or Time Warner as their ISP.

They all **choose** Comcast/TW because they want the better speeds they offer in their location.


I'm American, but whenever I travel to other countries people assume I'm Canadian because of how polite I am. So your country's hallmark is alive and well.


A stable OS.. And and a better supporting of old phones... We're are still supporting the iPhone 4S... But I won't argue that android does do something's better


You've been in EVERY THREAD I've looked at today.  Seriously, Apostalate, do your vitamin D deficiency a solid and go outside!


Coming from a movie viewer, I don't give a fuck about the screenwriter or VFX artist. And if you give a fuck about people not giving a fuck about you, then maybe you should have been an actor.

edit: 50+ downvotes? lol.. must be a lot of screenwriters on reddit.


They swallow because they need the protein.