Why the fuck is your 12-year-old sister at a bar?


LmAo iiiiiiii CaLl BuLlShiiiiiiiT !!!


Call me a dark soul but I like this. Especially for all those out there who couldn't.


This comment needs more upvotes.


Joke's on David, the guy had a boner

edit: Wow. Most upvoted comment of all time is about a boner in a David Copperfield AMA.


Iunderstooditandidon'tevenwatchsouthpark


said no one ever

edit: butthurt bass players can stop linking me youtube videos. I know Victor Wooten etc are amazing bassists, I've heard it. My post was a joke, you play bass, get used to it.


isn't it already in the US?


My employer does this all the time to internal promotions. "Oh, I see you've been a clerk for 8 years and now you're applying for the supervising clerk position, but you have no experience as a supervising clerk ... denied."


legit? yeah thats not like they said event icon will always be available for every region and ip. yeah very legit ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


A wild logical woman appears!


hahaha, upvote for you good sir!


Grandma still got it.


No I didn't.  I didn't fuck Dave when I had the chance (back when we were both single), and I didn't fuck him after I met my it's-complicated.


Do you both get maternity leave or is that only for the carrying mother?


This needs more downvotes.


Because of course it exists.


There is a difference between being proud and being full of oneself. Most of her life she was not getting better with age. she still isnt. She's getting better with work.


Heh, that's actually a valid question. I- wouldn't know, just felt it had to be posted. Don't you think it's more interesting before you actually know what's in it? I know I do.


You don't have to read my posts.


THEN WHY DID YOU FUCK IT UP


you are the worst kind of person. or at least you were.


Probably lack of pressure. Something about dudes nagging about getting in there makes my asshole tighten up.


This is a fun social experiment displaying how manipulated people are by the opinions of other users. I'm upvoting all of you.


Hi

I took the picture


Left wing piece of shit detected.


My 5 year old has the morning manners of a Viking. He throws open my door at a few minutes before sunrise and loudly proclaims: "It is daylight!! Get up and make me some bacon please! Let's watch Thundercats!!"

Edit: He embraces his Vikingness. [Imgur](http://i.imgur.com/EeMSX)


>SubredditDrama is not your personal army or your personal downvote brigade. There is to be no up/downvoting or any kind in any thread linked here.

edit: Looks like the sidebar rules have become controversial... SRD is getting too big for its own good! Time for a meta SRD I guess?


Nicolas Cage stars in "Pu-twins" *coming to theaters this summer*

EDIT: thanks for the gold! I'll be here all week. Forever.


I know a least I still have my fire red version but it's not the same


Thanks, I appreciate the support. I don't expect anything but a wrist-slap and a verbal warning. At worst a day of suspension without pay. Bigots like that woman make my blood boil.


3) Smash, then go buy a real phone (exclusive Iphone option)


In chrome you can drag the reddit logo down and pretend to have a lightsaber fight...


Probably cause you don't know to spell physical...


How could she not? Her disappointed face has been *everywhere* the last few days. On reddit, 9gag, facebook, news sites, meme databases.. As hard as I've tried, I have not been able to escape it in any way. At one point I even got a crush on her (upon seeing [this](http://i.imgur.com/Jz4Vw.jpg)).


You mean he should check her testicles? SHE has no desire for sex... HE does...

Edit: Ah FFS... I read it initially "you should check your testicles"... Wtf happened?


I used to pretend to be running alongside the vehicle. Guardrails were the best, but when they ran out, I would have to push off from sign posts or phone poles.


babylike prostitution??? my god man, you are sick!


TIL cervical orgasms are a thing


You dont think about it cuz obviously your clueless on park riding/etiquette but it creates grooves which throw ppl offline trying to lineup a trick... u could very well be responsible for some broken bones. Just go build your own little jump in the woods it'll take 5 min and stop getting real riders hurt.


they already pulled their goaltenders too!  what gives?!


TL;DR you are wrong your wife is right


We should invest in lemons.


thank you, but again, I'm asking for a *citation* about the "health reasons" to remove someone - like a health code or some law or something saying that people can not bring their own food into a restaurant.  I'm not asking about the restaurants self-imposed policies.


i've seen it in person - it's breathtaking.  the fingers on her flesh are just one component; his entire physique comes across as hard and muscled and weathered; hers is soft, vulnerable, and sensual.  it's remarkable work.


violentacrez is one of the worst people in the western hemipshere. fuck him and fuck any repulsive sack of crap that would defend him


Did you jerk off her dick too?


Bruh it was a tier 1 team vs a tier 3 team, nothing to be excited about.


You know, the anti-circlejerk circlejerk is getting more obnoxious than the actual circlejerk.


Can we kill the "DAT X" meme? Does reddit forgot 9gag made that up and its not cool anymore?

Edit: seriously...downvoted?.....


Jesus Christ, Sean, ABORT!!!


You do realize that actually happened to quite a few of the brave mother fuckers who did that? Think before you speak ass hole


Us short, fat, and bald men got all the bases covered!


My inbox. I have been to Valve, and I have a reviewer Steam account.  If you don't believe it then I don't care.  You could probably check my half dozen other posts of Valve info.


I used to stack  pieces of shit like you 5 ft high and use you for sand bags


they went on ONE date together, it wasn't like they were dating (even though I realized later that they actually had something going on)... so I didn't do anything TOO wrong did I? i know you think otherwise but like he told me it wasn't going anywhere with her!


> childhood logic

I feel like these two words clash horribly.


The fact that you thought you had a "case" is just *adorable.*

Here's a spoiler alert for you: This isn't a debate. You made an assertion, you were wrong, you were corrected. End of story.


The driver himself actually took a [pic during the accident.](http://deadshirt.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/imgPhoto_25_l.jpg)


Why does that scare you tho? Why is acceptable for a man to marry another man but not for a woman to marry her son?


As someone who lives in Indiana, we have this [general thought on Gary Indiana](http://imgur.com/tk532Gy)


what are you? a faggot?


Actually, Pikachu is an Electric type, not a Dark type.


That is not called bullying, shits called a privilege.


antisrs logic: "guys it's ok, im pretty sure you dont actually have to understand something to effectively parody it"


Swahili expert here. Boobies in Swahili is matiti.


Net Neutrality is literally government control and regulation of the internet. It is *far* from "neutral."


We use the polite term now, *wafrican-wamerican*.


I am appalled by the racism that is occurring in this thread.


Should of established dominance on her too.


I Cape Runts seems to be a reasonable user name. I think you need to get your mind out of the gutter.


A Bronco fan responded to me in this thread with

>if you know anything about Broncos football we boo all the time. It has always been that way. We expect to win.

That's absolutely ridiculous. He is the reason they've been winning lately. Bad second half to close out the season, but even then, it's fucking Peyton Manning. You don't boo him on his way out of the NFL.


Falcor's cum works better. Eats through anything.


Heh, I wonder if /r/nocontext will allow me to nominate my own comment :D


Crouching stoner, hidden Asian.


I agree, it's pretty good but I would change the second to last panel from
>I didn't even notice the arrow in my shoulder till I hid here

to

>I didn't even notice the arrow in my **knee** till I hid here

LOL, get it guys?


Someone is having fun spending a lot of money.


I'm going to love it when you get relegated


I had a feeling a random redditor would know what this seaweed was.


[](/happy) How does this relate with the comic?


My dad did the same back in the days of MySpace. Oh my god he flipped out and called me a whore/slut/loser instead of, you know, being a decent parent and making sure I'm being safe and all... Our relationship wasn't ever really the same after that.


stand up comedians make jokes like this all the time.  it gets peoples attention because of the whole, "Did you really say that?" factor.  Dont gotta take it toooo seriously..


Reminds me of [this!](http://littlefacemitt.tumblr.com/post/29930841170/hey-look-at-how-tiny-mitt-romneys-face-is)


Exactly. We know we can't keep people from downvoting altogether, but it can make downvotes become less systematic.


Fat jokes? Dude, Disney puts walking racial stereotypes in their shows. See Ravi from the show Jessie. Fat jokes are nothing.


That's not a question; it's something you tell yourself to feel better.


Here is a quick [GIF](http://i.imgur.com/lvhND.gif) that toggles the original and final images back and forth so you can compare the differences easily.


Came here to say this and not disappointed.  Only change I might make is "Release the cute!"


Nothing wrong with that. I personally prefer them shaven, though.


I personally think he is cocky and arrogant. The T.O of track and not a huge fan.


I think they might have also taught you incorrectly that "past" and "passed" are interchangeable.


No, stupidface.  As in, does that guy really think that's the only reason two people can get together?


omitted from the post were the 20 hours of walking around doing nothing that led up to this one moment


LOL

I downvoted you because that joke is good man


I had a guy break up with me because I was honest and said I peed in the shower. Felt like I was in a Seinfeld episode.


Damn. True an hero right here. Fuck hanging yourself, gun>hanging


Reddit pick-up lines: 404

FTFY


lol that girl is considered attractive? she looks pretty fat to me but i guess that is skinny for american


I don't think green text has ever made me tear up.  Ever.  First time for everything.


Lol awww.  Someone still waiting to grow up?

I can pretty much guarantee you there are more people who regret getting tattoos than there are who regret not getting them.


:( this made me really sad for a second,

but then I realized he can now breakdance while using crutches


I disagree. I think he should man up a little bit. Nobody respects a punk.


Yeah, people always curse on there. Why couldn't he have just said "a pussy sucking *kind of guy*?"
Now it's implied that he fucks mothers too.


That's a shoulder, not part of the arm. Correctly judged by the ref.

Ivanovic should have been sent off.


That's how you get people without a sense of humor not to attend your school. Win win.


All gifs ever are sped up due to compression


People should still watch though, watching Keanu Reeves killing people is always great.Especially as John Wick, I really enjoyed that movie


It's never been a show. It's just scripted fake improv with canned laughter and drew carry acting like a little cunt as usual.

I don't know why people buy into this kind of shitty show.


nanananana, i made you eat your parents!


I can't abide by these kinds of responses.  Given the shit she's had to put up with in her marriage (continual infidelity, the world's biggest ego, nonstop media harassment, absentee-husband, etc.) she'd better get some decent perks from it as well and have all that bullshit amount to something.


Insulin.  About $9,000 a gallon and about three times more expensive than printer ink.


>Moegopher (8 minutes ago)

>Please make an Android version.

>-1

>Marked as spam

Absolutely no reason besides that I'm bored. Haaa, I love being such a dick.


Imagine the power of the sun captured in a bite-sized corn chip.


yep, we're a coupla crazy bitches.

don't you love us here? you should. we cause hella drama ;D


Take your mix tape off of the ice cream?

Edit: Thanks for my first comment over 1k upvotes! :D


shut the fuck up you fucking faggoty faggot I bet ur mum is eating chow mein right now


Can confirm, I was a person one week ago.


The readers downvoted it because it's a bitchy self-post.  I can't say I blame them in the slightest.  I just wanted everyone to know that if they hate the place and want to leave, I'm not going to try to stop them, nor am I going to try to change it just to suit their tastes.


This reminds me of a really funny comment I read during the 2010 FIFA World Cup (Germany was putting up a bunch of really big scores that year).  It went something like this:

German fan: Man such-and-such game was boring!

Other fan: Sorry.  Not every team can be Germany.

German fan: We tried that.  You guys didn't want to.

Thank you for reminding me of this.  :D


I understand from several of my "dirty whore" acquaintances that agree with thus very statement.

Tell them you are terrible, then bang them like a screen door.


I did that on Skype once as a dumb 14 year old. My friend and I got a 40 something year old Turkish man to paypal us like $500 to buy a plane ticket to Turkey to come see him. We never went to Turkey, obviously.


Hey, I just met you,

And this is crazy,

But here's my number,

So call me, maybe!


with shoes made of butter. on ice.


why? halfway through i realized i hadn't even seen one combo


This guy.

EDIT: Uh wow, thanks for the gold!


Cept for the fact that he has to follow the Catholic doctrine and condemn people to hell.

No big deal though. I hear Bill Nye will be there.

Fuckyeah.jpg


"hide child comments" ... suddenly relevant.


Yup, I hate genocide.  if that makes me a donkey fetcher I am ok with that.  Donkey Feltcher 2012


My brother was KIA in Iraq he was part of the 10th mountain division. If there is anyway I could talk to you it would mean a lot to me. I don't know if you knew him but if you did I would love to hear any stories you might have. It's a part of his life I know nothing about.


a MONTH? What kind of monastery you live in?


Yeah, it was a great upgrade from his original idea where he used his body.


or the fact that the movie just plainly sucked, and this guy was pissed having spent his money on three films for this garbage nolan film... Maybe??


Tell us how you really feel


The funny part is: you make it sound is if you're **NOT** a lesbian and that looking like a guy is somehow supposed to shock us.


Pajama pants with a touchscreen. Smartypants (tm)!


Not many.  Canadians haven't had our back on anything in a long time.  Fuck em.  Let em rot.


Yes. That was a market genius. To take a useless rock, call it a chocolate diamond, and reap the revenue, astounds me.


1. For sleepless night, I run Chaos Empire, a mod of Diablo2 LOD.

2. Why would I want to mess with a game having block graphics. Reminds me of Jill of the Jungle, an old side scroller.

3. Clunky sound track and the dam graphics. Had a whole lot trouble just watching trailer to the end. Wish I never watched it. Ugly!


I'd like one circlejerk please


i rest my case. you blindly support the dumbfuck arrogance of kim kardashian, so your opinion means nothing.


Yeah, but they use less gas per unit of cargo mass, so ...wait.


Yea umm, that's gross.


But they didn't say you have to give them in base 10... time to anser in pental.


You are a homo.
I mean "gay your life must be".


With that chin and jawline, I was convinced the one on the couch was a man.


you're a retarded faggot, you forgot about that group. the retarded faggots love harper and his old style bullshit fucked up garbage asshole system. enjoy your fail, fuckwad.


Calm down there Lennie.


You are stupid bro, it's obviously riddler, where the hell did you get catwoman from? Dumbass....


How I wish I could do that to 32x30 jeans.


Sometimes when people take my socks I follow them around the house, and pounce on them. Then, I hold them down and make them listen to justin bieber until they give my socks back. bitch....


You said it much less cynically than i was going to.  I was going to say that I give regular BJs for all my husband's money. I mean, I do other stuff (laundry, kids, etc) too, but I wouldn't get access to the money if I stopped doing my main job of sexing.

TL;DR:  I'm a whore!


Then you have no right to watch it :)


who the fuck is Demi lovato


Let me stop this circlejerk right *here*.


Hmmm - yes.... I know some of these numbers.


Well then I guess I'll just be alone, because I don't want anyone else.


You got a pretty mouth.

Edit.

FFS: Purdy.

And yes, I know Deliverance is set in Georgia. I have tagged down the Amicolola and my grandparents live five miles from there!


how does a dice game have a voice? wtf


thus it proved the gullibility of the internet.


With just a bit of retard.


Nice try AT&T Customer Service.

Excuses, excuses.


Ask the person who infringed on a copyright if you can use "their" infringed copyright?? Kinda ironic, am I the only one?


Probably looking into buying some anti submarine missiles.


SO BRAVE, AND EDGY

ya little shit


Unless you're spinning in circles in the kitchen corner cupboard.

— Lazy Tzusan


>supplied by an American company

Do you have a source on this? Is this even relevant? Just had to throw that in there, didn't ya?


Why do you look at your friends pubes?


I prefer the term liberate. Poor sonics...having to play in that depressing rainy city in that shitty arena with a poor city government and even more laughable fan base. KD has it all on okc.


I remember the first time I saw what a period was like. My (ex)fiance was sick so I was taking care of her. I carried her to the bathroom and when I saw all this blood I was shocked. I thought it was something that slowly dripped out like a leaky faucet, but it looked like her vagina sacrificed a goat.


http://www.reddit.com/r/ronpaul they've all been debunked and yes the UN is all about globalism and loss of freedom, whether religious or economic or civil.


I have never regretted going to bed early either, but it's just that it *wears* on me. Do I get 5 hours of sleep, and *maybe* get those 3 extra hours where I can actually enjoy my life, or 8 hours of sleep, so I can great the next shitty day more prepared. It's a losing battle either way.


Yeah, and that's a fake serial number. http://i.imgur.com/3r7re.jpg

And this is my fake Mercedes CL500.
http://i.imgur.com/TjgUc.jpg

And this is my fake Ducati Monster.
http://i.imgur.com/SHW1t.jpg

I guess haters are gonna hate. And the watch has been passed down since my grandfather so don't degrade my family heirlooms. Thanks.


"Yep, these are definitely not bagels"


> I provided a small fraction of the evidence that exists

no you didn't. You linked a bunch of jew documentaries about the The Holocaust. They don't even pretend to provide proof, we just have to take their word for it. We are done here unless you can provide some proof.


It is very hard to keep a straight face because my castmates are literally the funniest collection of people working today. Amy and Pratt and Aubrey and Aziz and Adam and Rob and Rashida and Retta. Every single cast member. Devastatingly funny.


Because i said "faggot jesus" im an atheist? I dont think so. And please stop with that "you must be new here" bullshit. If you dont have anything of value to add, then dont add anything.


That turned me on a little.


How do you get that killer swastika swag? Do want!


"How much do you want this time?"

"Oh, you know, just life...stuff happening, my wedding day, having kids and growing old."

"Is this a joke. I asked you what you-oh..."


Gotta karmawhore ahead sometimes*


She became a nurse... http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=63725211


Lol, love that mentality.


And those who can't teach... Teach Gym.


Or he says something I've known for ages?  I'm not the typical redditard he usually runs into.


Nobody gives a shit. Go back to Facebook dumbass and fuck everyone who upvoted this worthless piece of irrelevant and insignificant garbage that is this post.


Are you from the past?!


Excuse me, There is only **one** good lord.

/r/Onetruegod


The CIA should heavily consider torturing people with this video.


Honestly, to piss people off.


The bill that would be introduced to shut down the internet would be called the "Keep the Internet Alive" act, or KIA.


Keep crying

Edit:

mmm delicious jimmies


Always, stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason.

But in spite of that fact, we're supposed to ignore stereotypes and treat people as individuals, because doing otherwise isn't fair to the people who don't fit the stereotype.


Obama is a joke that isn't even funny.  Period.


Thank you. To be honest. I read a few depressing threads today and really wish I had someone to cuddle up to and laugh with.


Someone who is "conventionally unattractive" is probably not good enough at a no-makeup makeup look to make the front page.  If they were, they wouldn't be considered "conventionally unattractive".

What do people mean on this sub when they say a woman is already attractive, like, really, what do they mean?


So I'm making out with this girl after a first date, when my roommate barges through my bedroom door holding some bananas, some KY, and a ladle, wearing just his bathrobe, and yells, "God fucking damn it. Just when I agree to go through with your god damn *ladle fantasy*, you go hetero on me!" and storms out.

I'm still trying to figure out how to get back at him.


Lmao! I'm seriously intrigued by why the majority of the people on this subreddit are so defensive, and stupid about this subject. I'd really like to hear some theories.


What a horrible, disgusting fact that we all know


You're just mad because nobody will give you a 6 figure job for "understanding the human condition".

The whole "jack of all trades, master of none" majors basically translate to "I have no idea what I want to do with my life".


But I want to feel unjustly persecuted! Why, as a white male, does society make this so hard?


Yeah but you have to completely dissemble that or buy it custom.


That's really Not Safe For Work


eh, would be better if people would stop upvoting fake AMA's, even better if people stopped posting them.

at this point I am 99% sure this is fake as there are questions about proof and he is avoiding it.

reddit was trolled once again, as I recall seeing a similar picture (maybe the same) before


Yeah, I've been practicing this while driving and I can almost make it out of my neighborhood now.


If you always want positive votes then you belong in r/circlejerk


I phoned my girlfriend once and sang the entirety of "you are my sunshine" high as shit.

No wait that's wrong she was at uni with me at the time.

I phoned my girlfriend's house once and sang her mother the entirety of "you are my sunshine".

Much better.


No. if you listened to the in game of Link in one of the fights he said oh shit why am i stuck. dumb ftfy


5-year old samsung flip-phone. And I can hang up calls like a baus.


Using Git on Windows in pretty bad idea: limited support from upstream and terrible performance. Switch to Mercurial.


Do you work for them?

Do you take satisfaction from reveling other peoples work?

aka...get a fucking job and stop jerking off to video games others have created


I like how you created fake names for these people and never used them during the story.


If you were quick enough you could have nabbed some cash


We also discovered helium in the Sun, using spectroscopy, before we found it on earth.  So there was a brief time when we believed that at least one element we knew about didn't exist on earth.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helium#History


No clutch gene? Are you serious or trolling


In unrelated news there's been a run on nailguns at New York hardware stores.


You know that that's an extremely obvious suggestion and that everyone agrees with you, so perhaps you'd like to say "I just want some karma: Why don't they build snow troopers next time - because snow, geddit?" so at least you're not lying by omission?


When I read the name "Danger nut" I assumed it had something to do with testicles.


Rationalize it all you want, it won't matter.

Reality will throw cold water on your rationalizations.

And the reality is Chip Kelly destroyed your team.  Downgraded at QB and gave away your future for injured garbage.

Remember my post when all you Eagles fans are calling for Chip Kelly's head midway through next season.


Never fear, they've got plotlines for years!


Would you deny that removing the phrase "thank God" from our vocabulary would have a positive effect on society?

I see it as no different from someone saying "praise Allah."


I also think he learned how to dance sarcastically.


There can only be so many dead babies in the world until there are no more, after all.  And then they rot away and disappear ;_;


It annoys me when i hear about teens and children doing shit like this, but it makes me sad for your cousin that hes a grown ass man and still acting like a spoilt kid i can only pity him


**WHY??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????** I'm sick of this Keanu shit here... He had 2 good movies. *Speed* and *Matrix* ... AND THAT'S IT. Who gives a shit anymore?


I don't know how to tell you this, but your wife is an arsonist.


What a retarded way to think.


Well look at Mr. I Don't Shop Online While Drunk.


Best comment I've read since joining this terrible site.


I think those laws were created largely to fight sex traffickers who use legally-registered prostitution businesses as a front to their operations.


Why? I thought they were fighting for freedom. Part of freedom is being able to choose what clothes you wear.


we're not downvoting because we disagree, we're downvoting because he left a vague and uninteresting answer.

"what supernatural events are you referring to?" "Miracles" oh THAT explains a lot. I'm so glad we cleared that up.


And how do you expect people to eat this when they can't hold the utensils, because their are to small to be held in hands.


No that was Nagasaki and Fukishima, which are in The Netherlands


downvote, there's no need for sexist language.


Right now I'm just excited to be part of a tremendous cast and consistently smart as hell writing. I played 3 different 'Sanjay's in 2007, so the fact that I get to play a strange, but not one-dimensional character is pure effin' joy!


My advice?  You shouldn't have taken loans out that you knew you couldn't repay.


Bong of destiny of course


Can I have a million dollars?


Brutally ripe for a career in porn


>I am a sissy girl. —Samuel Johnson


An orange arrow? What am I supposed to do with *this*?!


That's what happens when people only think of you as pretty. That's the only value they see. Jesus, I'd have an eating disorder too. Thankfully, I'm ugly as fuck


But then a few minutes later you saw the same coyote speeding past you on an ACME rocket, right?


Of course he does, because he's a talented footballer.

Peoples jealousy of footballers is pathetic, plenty of people succeed in life without being nice guys, get over itit.


>FUCK YOU MRS. DONOFRIO!

Whenever I see someone post something like this on Reddit, I always set my Facebook status to "Fuck you Mrs. Donofrio (or whatever the name is)!  Repost if you think Mrs. Donofrio is a cunt!"

I always hope people will repost it again and again and eventually the enormous chain will get back to the person who's a cunt.


if this bitch used firefox then she deserved to die


But I'll try and be back as soon as I stop being disgusting.

Thanks.


she could end up with a sweeter photoshop where all the different costumes she is wearing form a big picture of basketball shorts on the bleachers.


I work retail. I hate everyone.


Epic waste of time maybe...


All their plates should spell out "come at me bro"


Youre advocating escalating this situation to physical violence? What.


never really thought about the Ray Bans one until I just read that. makes sense though


It's called the Camp Nou. Why do you all of you say it wrong? Maybe it's because of all the moronic talking heads in England say it wrong.


You need to fucking quit that job. And as a French, i'm floored. TIL American working conditions are just one notch above China.


Go back to your mothers basement you rude person.


Did it feel weird typing that? Because it felt weird reading it.


from one mediocre show loved by brainless teenage girls to another. Seems like a natural transition to me.


your gf doesn't show up and her friend has runny mascara and you don't ask questions ? waitwhat ?


no its not polished at all.


It's even easier when you have a shit load of money and connections to other rich people.

Like this fat, disgusting excuse for a human being.


not comparing them or that they should have the same consequence, just saying that Schilling should have been suspended in that whole evolution thing


I swore to never read again after 'To Kill a Mockingbird' gave me no useful advice on killing mockingbirds.  It did teach me to not judge a man based on the color of his skin, but what good does that do me?


grow the fuck up and stop being such a disgusting stereotypical american. youre pathetic downvotes havent even put a dent in my karma. lmao


Fuck that... I'm going to Outback to get my dick sucked


You lot talk about him being the best centre back in the league, which he's not. Not even top five for me.

But I'll take my leave from this thread because if you dare suggest that Ramsey isn't the bestest in the world or Alexis isn't the bestest in the world or Koscielny isn't the bestest in the world then you get pelters from Chad from Southern California who's seen loads of stats.


I don't think single parents are looking for a guy to pay for their kids, I think they are looking for someone to date. Being a single parent is some of the loneliest shit imaginable.


It's the difference of using hero power and dropping a card, also if you don't know, don't reply


Glad I'm not the only person who pays for shareware. I've bought WinRAR, mIRC, WindowClippings etc. Donated to imgburn and others. These people have made wonderful software that I use every day.


http://i.imgur.com/PiaOx.jpg

lé edit: http://i.imgur.com/Q5DBY.jpg


Maybe white chocolate is more appropriate, all things considered.


Hey thanks.  I'm so honored to be featured in your subreddit where tens of people will read this and some will no doubt leave poorly spelled attacks in my inbox.

Edit: Wow did I ever call that one right


not cool superman, not cool.


They fcuk 19 year old whales, so much so that they scream out O,6?


Turns out you didn't need to do much punching after all.


It's nerd blackface. We get it, sex is a big deal and comics are for weirdos. The writers really need to move on.

*edit* clearly an inappropriate hyperbole. I'm not American, so actual blackface is foreign to me. Apologies.


Because you're curious?


Nah, when people see a downvoted comment, whats funnier to do? downvote for lil laughs or upvote because upvote?

Sometimes its funny to downvote. I'm guessing its what they're doing. ;)


Also, people keep saying Lisa is beautiful, but really, she isn't.


Yeah, but any sickness can kill you, including many that can't be vaccinated for. You're responsible for your health. Flu shot only covers one strain. There are many. Someone who got a flu shot can still get the flu and give it to you.


This was the greatest comment thread I have ever read on the Internet.


I only regret that I have one upvote to give.


I did the exact same thing to my first GF at the age of 16. Difference was it was only her uncle in the room and he actually noticed. In my vast intelligence I faked being asleep while they sat there looking awkwardly at one another.


They don't produce Countachs and Diablos anymore you dumb fuck. Clearly used.


Tow truck drivers who work for impound yards are among the lowest scum of the earth. Good double-kill there.


You're a disgusting coward trying to rationalize your misogyny. I know reddit just loves coming together to defend violence against women, it seems to happen every week.


My friends also used to do this.  We called it love tapping.

I would sometimes be stopped behind one of them at a railroad track.  I would try to gently make bumper contact so they wouldn't notice and slowly push them towards the tracks.


Yep. Says right there the government can't prevent the free exercise of religion.

Yet Barack Obama claims he has the power to force the Catholic Church to give its employees condoms and abortion pills.

First, they came for the Catholics, and I did not rise to defend them.


It comes out a different hole.


Because a vacation is not necessary for continued existence, whereas a home is.

You see- I can WANT a vacation, but I can live a long, happy life without one.

However, I cannot live at all without a home.  Thus:

My home > Anyone's vacation.


Try once more  /u/katie_pornhub
That's 3.


Well it's his job to kill people.


Probably couldn't see anything with his massive balls obstructing the view


I see.

Either you have a level playing field and a free market, or you do not.

A billion dollar headstart for the CBC kinda kills the "they lost in the free market" argument.

In fact, it is ridiculous.


3am, middle of an empty road with no other cars in sight and I still use my turn signal. It makes me feel like a loser every time.


Yes. Y. E. S. I'm laughing from my stomach (ILFMS) if you want to spread that around


and very intelligent too.


>He is a witty dude and has pretty funny delivery of dialog.

Uh, no; I think you meant:

>**His script writers are witty dudes**

And I disagree with that updated statement.


If you read it diagonal, all of the words are stressed. [6]


Tl;dr. Shorter and English, please.


But Phil Collins is still a very good representative of all white people's tastes.


She is a good sport *now*. She is fading from the scene and probably desperate for any attention she can get at this point.


They aren't the same style. Anakin used Form V, while Obi-Wan used Soresu. Basically Anakin used an incredibly offensive lightsaber form, while Obi-wan used an incredibly defensive light saber form.

I always just justified this moment as each other trying to distract and feint.


A better inference would be people who don't have a girlfriend.


I've found that seatbelts are useful in this situation.


small boobies r like ta best k dont fael bad bout it. ur mazing n u shold be prowed k?


I want to see this version of the film goddammit !


I do that on purpose. But don't worry I only play DS1 now.


Well, she *is* the most magical unicorn in all Equestria, so I think it's okay. [](/twismug)


by 'cool' you mean 'fuckable', sure I get that...and by all means feel free to stick your dick in crazy, but you have been warned


Phenomenal story capped off with one of the classiest, and still professional endings imaginable.  Well played, my good sir (or madam).


THIS IS A REFERENCE TO A MISSPELLED TATTOO AND THE WESTERN PREDILICTION TOWARDS GETTING BODY ART FEATURING EASTERN CHARACTERS


Also nice in finnish.


Thanks, I came here for this, and after some scrolling I thought I was gunna be the one to have to post this. Good job


That doesn't add anything relevant to what was said. They're made larger for shelf presence. It doesn't matter if the retailer likes them large or not.

Please don't be retarded.


I don't think he fucked her afterwards.


Try and pass any serious educational system with wikipedia. They'll laugh at you like you're 5.

We aren't talking about America here. Stop making yourself look like a fool and get some real peer reviewed material before you quote shit to me in this so called serious subreddit.


Wow, I'm shocked the Loch Ness Monster didn't appear at the end.


You are one of the few accounts I downvote on sight.


That cracked me up. :)

Bertram was stopped at the Sydney customs for routine inspection.
"Do you have a criminal record Sir?".

"No, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you needed one anymore."


Of course it does.

There are 100s of athletes tweeting about Stuart Scott. Posting them adds nothing to the sub. I could go post one right now. But why would I?

I hope you see my point.


You haven't lived until you masturbate in an ice dome!


Because he's a fucking faggot with that hair and his music fucking sucks. Why else? Derp


That would certainly kill the pregnancy-test market.

Unless you already had it unlocked...


Try to grow some guts then. You will find the world much more palatable if you do. To be as free from fear as one can is a great way to live. I know it is alien to your indoctrination and it makes your pulse race.

But your pulse was meant to race sometimes.


Kinda like how "Patriot" in "Patriot Act" has nothing to do with patriotism.


guess he went with the flow.


Announcing their 24 hour parody news network.


says the guy with the O's logo. >.>
I know what your'e doing


(Before Round 2) *"OKAY, I'M RELOADED"*


Private company doesn't release product the way I want so the answer is stealing that product elsewhere?


I don't think I have ever seen somebody spit in a building..


How about you take the 15 seconds it takes to do a [simple Google search](https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ie=UTF-8&ion=1#hl=en&safe=off&sclient=psy-ab&q=risen%20drm%20removed%20steam&oq=&aq=&aqi=&aql=&gs_l=&pbx=1&fp=aa31bf77feb4159&ion=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&biw=1280&bih=939) for this next time?


> when they occur witnesses sometimes report believing they just saw a sea monster.

I think that legitimately is a sea monster


You talk like a pretentious douchebag but I enjoyed your comment because I don't take people like you seriously =)


But you can bet before we're through...


> selfie's?

Dumbass.


I *knew* dogs could type.


Being gay isn't a choice. Being a vegetarian is choosing to be a fussy eater. They're two completely different things.


And the next day "it wasn't an accident!"


It's fucking reddit you fool.


Yeah.  I love that douchebag in the green fleece, sounding all shrill and douchey.


Too bad it's never going to be relevant information again.


Poor white children, the fourteen niggers in that class because of forced federal integration thuggery permanently harmed those white children.


Personally I like anime, but I find it so hard to be friends with other anime fans because 90% of them are obnoxious. To be honest, I'm embarrassed to be associated with them.


I used to oggle dat package, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


We had like 55 Batmen.


Sometimes person finance tips don't come into play when you strait up don't have the money


Can you elaborate?  OP's circumstances hit fairly close to home for me, and for some reason, your terse response has me even more intrigued now.


lol. Hocus pocus magic magic, make the wish then have it, have it!

If I was god right now I'd totally be letting these protests happen. It gets boring up here in heaven you know-- I need some fucking brown people fighting about shit every now and then. White people get fucking boring sometimes.


a real knee slapper, or long-leg slapper as my white brothers call it.


I only like you because of the username


Nope, the camera man said something about "you're after sjokz" and I was just like, "HOLYSHIT I CAN MAKE A PUN OUT OF THAT" like 15 minutes before the segment.

Edit: You guys are so kind. <3


and who are you to judge people? plenty of successful people use heroin intravenously. funny, 20 years ago it was people bashing on pot users for doing their thing. now, everyone's 420 friendly. you'll see your outdated way of thinking become obsolete quite soon. have fun


My username finally relevant.


It's the internet, read the comments, if I can spend 1 hour researching who is right or wrong, you can spend 10 minutes reading the whole thread.


Nothing says I'm pro life like planting a bomb on a building full of people.


but piracy is a good thing. never pay for anything you can get for free.


OH GOD HOW DID THIS GET HERE I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER


I am in fact almost *certain* he meant tabs.


we can't afford that you idiot, we need a laser for the air vent!


he has the right to park, however common courtesy would have rotate his car 90 degrees so he doesn't take up an entire spot so a car can fit in.

like this:
http://fuzzyco.com/news/archives/mime/DSC00704.jpg


I'll make him live with his sister. She owes me for that time I took her out for ice cream when she was 6.


"This isn't about being moral, this is about pride. You don't have the balls to man up and do what's right before the peer group of your church."

Not true - I could care less about what my local church or peers think - I'm more concerned about what my God thinks...


I think if you copy and paste this privacy notice my aunt shared on her Facebook page it fully restores your privacy though.


I didn't ask you to start eating at Chick-fil-A...? You are free to eat where ever you would like.

We purchased the toys long before any of the anti-gay news became big. They stated that they won't do business with us in the future, not that they demand us to remove their toys because of our position.


Going by your user name I don't think you're doing it correctly.


Nobody that fat deserves those women.


And thats how all the normal people are scared away from reddit


how do you know he is not well liked? Because some kids flamed him? Your thoughts are not facts, you did not play with him in korean server nor you have any information about his likeability in the server, so stop making dumb statements


*How manies?

FTFY.

**EDITS:** Wow. Officially my best comments ever. Thanks, reddits!


Here's my number, call me maybe?


I'm just glad none of the pages were stuck together.


better than being the pussy on the ground


Did each hand end up finding out about the other?


Should teach you not to fall for staged Muslim propaganda. No Muslim is welcome at the site of their latest terrorist act, and if one shows up, it wouldn't surprise me for one second that they'd be executed.

Please. Leave France and go back to the hellhole that excreted you.


True. Cut me some slack, bro.


> I ended up finding a couple old random shoes in that pile and, armed with my tongs I found earlier and a pair of gloves, I managed to jam the dildo, balls first obviously, into one of the shoes and got it to stand upright all by itself.

For what it's worth, I get the gist of how ridiculous that was


You missed the point.  Almost no Christians "know" nor care if Ted Haggard is straight, but they *believe* that Jesus loves them and that God exists.  That was the point of my post.


Create tens method? Is that what that's called? I thought my brain just magically did that


Because you were there and in my shoes. I'm not one to get jealous over cleavage. I'm one to get mad over women doing shit like this. This is unfair and I'm sick of girls doing this.


It's not porn, it's HBO


Crazy world.

Consumerism. Want. Greed. More. Need.

Edit: a guy chooses money over a human life and I get his downvotes.


For Americans, that's 45,000 euro


Shut your little whore mouth.


Never did and probably never will. Everything he says is a minefield.


Hey that's my mom's birthday!  We're twinsies!


Advancing science with magic.


I beg to differ http://imgur.com/gallery/xXN36


or the daughter mentioned to the mom that she liked a guy, and the mom nozily stopped by to investigate.

unless you mean it was lucky for him to have been in a friendly mood that day!


Would you like some more of it? What's your location, sweetie? PM me!


I graduated from high school a month ago and I'm already doing this.


But maybe Al Gore will stop flying around in his lear jet so much?


The titanium teeth, very breed specific.


How about waiting a few months after game launch with a track record of server stability of at least few weeks before venturing into HC mode.


Username has rarely been this relevant.


"Mr. President, the country is under attack"

*freeze................*

Yeah, real stressful to shit your pants and do nothing

Sincerely,

Smug internet liberal Monday morning quarterbacking


If that's the plot twist, that's one I would readily accept!


That's not doublethink. Wearing a skirt simply isn't an invitation to be raped. WTF.


I kept scrolling thinking to myself. "There isn't more to this is there? Oh god, she keeps going!"


>What the fuck is wrong with people?

A lot of them seem to be overly sensitive and suffer from a persecution complex.


A lot of these really are *right on the money.*


I CERM HER TER LERL, NERT TER RERD A SERD STERER.... FS FER FERCKS SERK


My cousin is a Krystal and she is also a stripper. I approve of this.


stupid animals, the last picture should be of them hit by a car


I think anytime there is a big story like this, especially back in the 70's, the papers rush to get the story out and there is a lot of misinformation.  One paper said I was only 6 years old.  Hopefully now the press checks their information before publishing it.


What about smoking in public, being in public with the cold or flu, texting and driving, etc. etc. etc. Public education is one thing but I have an issue with the whole "unvaccinated individuals shouldn't be let out in public" sentiment that floats around here. It's absurdity confronted by absurdity.


I smile and wave. Kill them with kindness.


Getting tight over the fact that they have FEWER volunteer subscribers than  and then stalking OTHER reddits over it?

Asinine.


And then you realized that the brain was doubting itself. wtf.


Please post in /r/gonewild. You're beautiful.


This is far superior to the lesser known clinic in the midwest, the Miracle Whip clinic.


> Thank Multiculturalism and absolute tolerance making people afraid to criticize bad ideas.

oh my god you fucking nazis will twist ANYTHING into anti-liberal circle jerk


As a owner of a pair of sunglasses, i concur.


Wow, really? Thanks, I seriously wouldn't have noticed that otherwise! Everyone upvote this guy!


I worked at a place that ended up doing the opposite. I was the only smoker in the programming team, and someone apparently complained about me taking regular breaks. So, next morning the team was told that everyone was to take a ten minute break every hour to reduce eye strain and carpal tunnel - and could smoke if they happened to feel like it.

I miss that place.


Whenever someone says that something happened to a friend of theirs in a thread like this, I always assume it means they were just too lazy to make a throwaway.


because that didn't actually happen, it's an actress because that was part of his show


Excuse me, where are the domestic violence death and the rape statistics ? I cant seem to see them in your graph.

edit : the upvotes turn to downvotes ; the redtard pill must have kicked in.


Hey Brandon!  I hope I'm allowed to out this comment as coming from bajillion-seller-of-nerd-fantasy books Brandon Sanderson.

Yeah, I felt like the buzzer gods were not smiling on me last time Brad kicked my butt.  This would have been sweet, sweet revenge, if a supercomputer hadn't been raping me the entire time.


Obviously we can be friends. However you cannot just say that everybody is ok with their pieces beeing copied, when this is not the case. Where do you think my upvotes come from?


Our awesome 18-35 yr old fans don't necessarily watch TV live anymore.  I think a. the networks don't know how to count them and b. they want viewers who sit through ads.  All of tv is changing right now and people are scared and confused.  I think they will work it out eventually and our ratings will skyrocket because people are watching!


Who gives a fuck what you think about me? Seriously, go dive off a bridge please.


Take your pick of the 6000 questions.


You are the dumbest fuck on the fucking planet.


Hitler? Great guy. Killed Hitler.


According to them, women are a special interest group who demand special rights.  This image would give them seizures.


Same, dude. What can I say? I find an emotional connection to be an absolute requisite, and that doesn't usually happen right away. More power to the people that are into it, but I just don't function that way, and I'm super-okay with that.


He'll be dead by his own hand soon


I think Cracked compared it to us finding a planet that was 80% acid, and the air contain acid vapour, and the acid occasionally fell from the sky, and the inhabitants were walking bags of acid, and our battle plan was to engage in hand-to-hand combat naked.


Like the people who know the victim are reading this


Dude wear boxers, after tighty whities they feel like your junk is on a cloud covered in angel dust.

Edit: Rookie mistake


You need to fuck her. Feel flattered that you're interesting enough for her to want to swagger jack. Just do it.


A month or two ago there was an AMA about a man who had a sexual relationship with his sister for ~8 years. At one point their mother caught them but they claimed they were "wrestling" and supposedly their mother believed them.


Hey, jew, what's up?  Stolen anyone's home lately?


Nice try, Candiss Coleman.


I'm a Canadian living in a peaceful and strong country! And I'm grateful for it!


"I founded an internet company that lets college kids trade memes anonymously *for free*."

"Kinda like 4chan?"

"Exactly like 4chan."

"What do you mean?"

"I founded 4chan."

"Moot founded 4chan."

"Nice to meet you."


Yay racist middle class white redditors who don't know what it's like to live in poverty. go play ur vidya games. I hope you ended up finding someone to trade your dota 2 steam items with.


You could get your grade 12 if you do


i smiled at the others but I agree. 1st to make me lol.


hahahahah took me a while to get it. you dick


Its because you have no sense of humor.


This is like keeping a girlfriend till you find a better looking one.


I feel as though **le** perpetual charging would conflict with thermodynamics.


I asked someone what a color was once and explained I'm colorblind and after I told them what color something was they didn't believe me and wouldn't help me.


You're surprised people are tired of being mocked for their life style?


Have you ever been to the ripleys aquarium?


Yes, worth checking out if you're a barbarian that condones violence and has a clear confirmation bias...


A lesson. Stop sharing every fucking thing that happens to you on the internet.


Buddy, they vaccinate newborns now.  As a single father you should research it more, for your children.


I grew up without a dad and turned out pretty well, I'd say. I rarely think about what I missed because my mom worked so hard to raise my sisters and me into strong, smart, successful women. But your comment made me feel very wistful and like I probably really did miss out on something special. Your daughter is very lucky.


No, the car being followed has the legal responsibility to pull off and allow the other car to overtake them.


I guess they are afraid of lawsuits.  The middle school where I teach was sued (and settled) last year because some kid fell during PE and skinned her knee...even though she had been TOLD that what she was doing was dangerous and warned to stop.  She and her friend had tied their shoes together to do a three-legged romp around the school track.

It sucks.


So we're going to believe this?  Not call it fake or troll like normal?


Great story, 10/10.

Punctuation and sentence structure: ~~-4/10~~ 8.5/10

edit: something something rice


Same. The more you're capable of thought and reason, the more confusing all of this becomes.


let's see... 1500 x 20 per month x 12 months = OH MY GOD REALLY?? AND YOU GET TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM??


You know what is even more sublime?  Pulling off the biggest terrorist attack in history and sitting in your office like a smirking chimp knowing that you'll never get caught cause people on the net are too busy looking at porn. 9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB, WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!!


Fnatic will just boost over the wall to see if they're flashed or not


I really don't think God considers changing your gender just so you can get a dick in your ass, a loophole around gay sex.


Happy as a clam **at high tide**


and I still keep getting Karma for it.....guess you're the only asshole who doesn't get it.


anonymous teenaged gentleman is a boss.


Please don't associate this video with women's rights.


Pfft, then why even bother.


do you have sex with hole in the sheet?


That level of confidence borders Robert Downey Jr levels


AND THIS IS the reason why personal information shouldn't be posted for players like that. Mods are not even caring about posts like this one.


I'm not sure if you just ruined vaginas or steak. Either way, fuck you.

upvote :/


<3

They were deleted, for all intents and purposes i did not steal them nor did i take them from anyone.

They were just a giveaway gone a bit wrong.


Oh wow, thanks!  I didn't expect any compliments at all when I posted naked pictures of my glistening, young, tight body.


No, my name is Matthew.


Why would I post 5 year old self harm scars in r/aww? I'm fine with how I look so why do you all seem to have a problem?


I downvote you because I suspect you like playing on hard mode.


What the fuck? Spraying them with vinegar? Fucking insane.


I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm not trying to 'censor' anything, I'm trying to enforce the rules as they are written. I thought you of all people should know the difference between censorship and enforcing the rules. Approving my removal without debate from the rest of the moderation team is not the correct way to voice your disagreement. As such, you have been removed as a moderator.


#1 response I give to "why are you atheists so angry?":

"Because I could have been living in motherfucking SPACE by now if it weren't for you fucks."


this subreddit can be so dumb at times


Managers shouldn't berate employees in front of customers anyway. It's incredibly rude and puts that employees relationship/reputation with their customers at risk.


Look up FALSE ANALOGY.


It would have made more sense if Brutus was the ring bearer.


I would call them a dumbass.

Sorry, but you believe in the root deity of a religion, without following the tenets of that religion? You're a fucking douchebag, in that case.


That would be a great coordinated prank though. If you were in an elevator with a bunch of friends and all decided that when the door opened, one guy would just say some random joke punchline and the rest would burst out laughing. Confuse everyone waiting to get on.


good contribution chief


I thought the awesome part was how the horse kept his composure. So much equinimity.


But you fail for pointing it out, no one cares how long, this has been pointed out.


I think that is why they keep it a default.


Oh good lord you poor soul. Just how hard were you friend-zoned? This was difficult to read.


Aww, don't worry Mac, it'll all work in the end!


The one guy is actually a mod over here.


Now imagine if a group of men had a fleshlight and prostate massager party.


I thought it was fairly crappy. If I want to listen to a sermon, I'll go to a church.


That would solve the problem...


Well that would be Geekologie's doing then because that's where I got the image from.


I think it's a fair comparison. What we are doing by and large is taking away the civil rights of people who are, through no fault of their own, different. Everybody deserves their civil rights. The constitution assures them of it.


Helium is ~~also~~ *totally not* flammable, my bad, sorry I don't spend all of my time keeping up on my chemistry


Damn, all the goth girls always tell me that when the eugenics come I will be slaughtered and ground into pure nutrients for the future generations.


Too much shit to copy paste on mobile


sweet ill add you on facebook


I saw number 15 red and whoever on gold fighting. Then number 12 as well as a bunch of other people rush in to break up the fight. Did he do something off camera?


Now I'm just gonna die out of spite.


>looking at them

>looking

Sure he was.


>We evolutioned to walk ten miles every day.

If only you had evolutioned a larger brain.


Hard to say because I eventually caved and did them all - World of Warcraft used to be it, and more recently Pokemon was one. I guess the only one left is Kingdom Hearts, which I haven't done because fuck you.


Yeah, I can understand that.  The Ukrainian military [shot down](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siberia_Airlines_Flight_1812) our passenger jet flying from Israel, killed 78 people, lied about it until we found the wreckage in the sea, and then paid to the families of every Israeli on the plane, but nothing to Russians.

That was one of those things that's happened in the last 24 years.


"Don't disrespect my child.  I'm a prostitute."


Uhm, no? I'm playing it already on my PS4.


Yes I have been on stage  drunker that what I should have been ...


I'm actually a girl, first off, but hey, he works there, and I've seen him a LOT. (We're there ALL the time, its the only semi decent store in the area) Never knew he was a Redditor until tonight when I overheard his convo.


I like to think if I started over Highs cool would have been easier. When in reality I'd probably forget everything by the time I get in and still be a retard.


If you think making sexual comments to a *clearly* underage girl isn't a problem then you are what is wrong with reddit. Get out.


Homer: $20! I wanted a peanut!

Homer's Brain: $20 can buy many peanuts.

Homer: Explain how!

Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.


If he had it unloaded, or uncocked he wouldn't have to worry about such things...


And he's never felt that way before.


I came here to post this joke. I will find you and I will kill you.


That's why you hide them in bags of cocaine and plastic explosives. It throws the dogs off.


I used to be fine in water. But then i took an arrow to the knee! Lololol


Without the and. "...heads over to the punch table."

"...uhh, that's it?"

"Yeah, there was no punch line." *pulls down pants and  exposes hairy genitalia*


>Source:

Nobody asked, nobody cares.


I think he likes to limbo


I'm jumping on the train. Kanye I choo-choo choose you.


"LET ME FINISH, FUCKFACE!"


Great account, you're just a faggot.


shit... what was it?  did i do it already?  I did didn't I....


Sorry, did my differing opinion hurt your feelings?

I assume you mean a White anglo-saxon protestant, which I am not, but what does that have to do with this situation?


I feel like if you grannies are on Reddit, you're on *our* lawn! *Daaaad, granny's at the arcade in her nightie again!*


I was even friends with the cofounder, Tom.


It was actually a little experiment for me.  I rarely ever make a post, and never in main subs.  I only comment.  I wanted to see just how easy it is to be a massive reposting karma whore.  It's obviously very, very easy.


The Americans think that 100 years is a long time.

The British think 100 miles is a long trip.

Different ways of thinking due to their individual experiences.


Not what I meant by argument. Take freshman rhetoric son.


That's actually kinda sweet... I think?


First you must english. Then make words better for read.


My dad made a title, so I posted it.


Some people like to do [this](http://i.imgur.com/sJLLsAX.png). Why do I need a phone when my laptop can do it for $30/m instead of $70/m with a phone?


Runs? You've never been really fucked up on vodka...


To bad you don't actually have a better team.  Just a dumbass offensive coordinator that is between you and defeat.  Not like your team actually did anything to win.


Nice try Pornhub marketing team.


I was just about to comment with this... WORD FOR WORD. Thanks for taking all the bad karma!


... I cannot fathom how you did not know this.


mister obvious strikes again


Yeah! They never fit in.


Ugh. Gate crash is not a "back then." It was 2013. By Magic standards, 2 years is not a long time.


Ah, yes. *There's no greed like Porn Greed.*


No I'm trying to say that reddit is full of misogynistic shitheads, like all the ones you see in this thread.

Thought that was pretty obvious when I said they *like to hate on women* but if you need me to dumb it down for you, I can.


Yeah, kind of like my friend's mom whose advice was "If you're going to have sex in the woods, check for poison oak first.  Even if you're immune, your partner might not be."  I think this is one of those "you learn by doing" things.


That comment plus that gif reaction is golden.


Actually Don Draper(at least till now) hasn't been a fan of geurrilla advertising. It's Peggy Olsen who embraced it when she made 2 ladies fight over a ham in the mall.


It's a mute point, nonetheless. Look at our war on Islam, our regard for Africa, Korea, Vietnam, the middle east, Russia... we hate the French, will never forgive Germany; we laugh at Scandinavians, jeer (out of jealousy, I'm sure) Italians... we judge and compartmentalize all cultures... including our own... at the expense of our self-respect.


ME TOO! Don't forget Teslas Cars


They were already done


OP *wants* them to find this.


Good nope meme reference bro. Epic memes bro.


sodhuf klJHDFuhefkjlsdH FuiWHJSDKLhf wekjwbemf q,na,mXMZ<nklN SLIHGRFIHJASKLDehfklshdfh sYKUHFUIWE


Never change, Canada.


Which is obviously bullshit since NFL refs dont ref in the city they are from anyway.


no i had a cock sock on so just a little wood no penetration :)


So you're saying there's a good chance he's still dead by now? *fapfap*


CUZ MY LIFE IS DOPE AND I DO DOPE SHIT.


Yeah, its all in the textures, although, Borderlands 1 had cel shading, which you can disable through the config files on the PC. Not sure about Borderlands 2 though.


Ah yes. Cumming, GA. Just north of the Siemens tower. Where we have a Dick's right across the street from BJ's. I know the place well.


You must have a lot of friends


Oh thank god.

*puts rubbing alcohol down*


Any CVS pretty much means you're in gang territory.


The likelihood is that these are not bonafide allergies, otherwise they'd be taking an awfully big risk going out to eat.


racist.

Calling someone a monkey because they are black is racism.

Not calling someone a monkey because they are black is also racism.

Racism is treating people differently because of skin color. Better or worse, its still demeaning.

Edit:  Lot more group think types on reddit than initially anticipated.


usually the plain girls end up looking pretty damn good in their mid 20s and on


 there was no ideology swap. The republicans just became more like democrats. The dems havent changed a bit. Every bit as racist and oppressive as ever.

Are you implying that fdr was an acceptable human being, btw?


I know how a small child drank that shit.  It's delicious!


It bugs me because it should be 3**3**.33!


I always turn sideways and push through the two that are closest, staring at the prettiest one the whole time with a creepy smile on my face... My girlfriend hates it because she won't follow suit.


Any cow that can work is undoubtedly awesome at the least.


When i helped her out i was just trying to be nice.  She was maaaaad fat though.  And by the way she licked my face i could tell she was hungry.


why its not democracy? people voted for his death and did the job


If you hate your liver, play the Twilight drinking game!

Anytime Edward says he's dangerous.

Anytime the camera zooms in so far you can't see the top of their head or the bottom of their chin.

There are more, but those two are all you need to get wasted.


Did you post this with a numeric phone keypad?


Only when she parties.


In my head it didn't sound as serious as it does reading it back, I meant like static electricity kind of shock, not a "oh dear god I stopped the kid's heart" kind of shock. Guess I should word things with more clarity.


I shared my name with my wife, then started seeding. Now there are four people sharing my name.


if he is, I wonder whether he didn't see a god up there, either.


TIL People hate rich spoilt kids more than cops.


HEY-O! The old reddit switcheroo! CLEVER!


It's Dr. Worm to you.


Unfortunately, this woman is not the pope - so, not really.

Edit: Downvote away. Obviously you can't grasp the truth of this statement. It's funny that atheists and agnostics seem to know more about how your religion is structured than you do.


The first paragraph sounds extremely "rapey".


My women around horny buff dudes all day?  No thanks.

I dated a girl in the army briefly.  Physically tough women who are hard to the touch is a turn off.


Can you give simpler directions please? Thanks


It's funny how reddit is so against this *discrimination*, but sees no correlation between this and how vehemently they defend pedophelia/ephebophelia as *just evolution*.  So much god damned cognitive dissonance it hurts.

Edit: And a parade of downvotes from guys on here that don't want to actually *think* about this.  So sad. :(


I believe you are refering to this http://i.imgur.com/Q1DE5.jpg


kicks ball boys and dives like a mother fucker


I'm feeling ya. This is the legitimate answer I was seeking.


more like, don't make a big deal from stupid private jokes?


i did something very similar. I was carrying a plate with a burger and fries and two little bowls of ketchup/aioli on it too. I slipped and everything went in the air, I peter parker-ed that shit and just continued on my work. About a minute later, a table (not even mine) handed me a $10 and said "that was better than the circus"


Ha, Aragorn, What a faggot name. Dude gets no pussy.


I feel like /v/ kinda gave us a friendly punch on the shoulder after winning, and weren't really being all that serious or dicky about it and just having fun. I have a feeling that if reddit won we'd act like the coolest kids on the block and say that we were pro level at Tribes, so in this case I'm kind of glad 4chan won.


So this tiny act of avoiding someone she doesn't like actually makes her a bitch?  You don't think that maybe she's just avoiding confrontation and awkward conversations?


Picturing a kid yelling "ass munch reborn" after sinking a basket is hilarious.


Defeats the purpose for you*

It's fun. Pwning noobs and making them rage is fun for me.


They could probably just shout into the vent...

:(


Ah, I was going to post the same thing, you beat me to it.


We're told on Earth that we're not supposed to play with our food but that's totally acceptable in space (in fact it's encouraged) it's great fun


This is the part where reddit calls for her violent rape and dismemberment.


It happens to me with a new partner first time. It sucks..


My god you are a fully loaded sack of dicks. Yes when someone defends a fellow human being from you pack of jackanapes who happens to be female it must be because he's trying to get into her pants. It couldn't be because he's supporting someone with a fresh idea, no that'd be ridiculous.


you might end up in a spot of trouble


I raped every part of his body until his skin frictioned off. Twas good.


Your mom probably shouldn't have been driving, but I'm glad she took the time to 'train' you in any case.


But *they did* insult the prophet. not sure how is this incorrect.

Downvotes for no reason? as usual.


Donald Trump has already answered this question, and it's not a good answer.


You should never ask people what they make


I'm just picturing gameplay being interrupted by "NNNGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLL" every 10 minutes


Can they be really considered a victim?  Dude wants to drink irresponsibly around people known to do this kind of stuff is nearly asking for it.


4 8 15 16 23 42
Hardwired to my brain dude.


Ordinary citizens don't have a basic knowledge of electronics even though they use them everyday? What the fuck is this shit.


A friend of mine, too. She was accepted for a prestigious art school in Amsterdam, and days before she got a phone call saying she was accidentally accepted and couldn't join anymore.

She basically told them to go fuck themselves and "figure it out" (as poesie said, same person? :P) - and she got in. Top of her class now, as well.


Telegraph cables across the Atlantic has been around for a long time. Hardly a feat of wonder.


Hah we also have a Minnesota in the US.


If you think iplaygaem's comment is funny, its because someone else actually came up with it earlier on a different gif post and it got a lot of upvotes.

Edit: Downvote if you want. I don't care, im just telling it like it is.


In soviet russia, store pays you!


I didn't call him any names.  I told him he wasn't smart.  Which is describing his intelligence.  Calling him an idiot, now that would be calling him names.  See the difference?


let's be honest "solid ten" is [going a little far](http://www.supplychain247.com/images/article/starbucks_troy_alstead_promotion_image.jpg)


ummm mind ur businez.... #yolo #swag for life budday =D


It was about that time I realized the man with a gun had fur on his hands, and he had a salmon in his mouth. He was a bear the whole time.


Yeah, I'd hate for it to run at 900fps instead of 945fps.


Goldendong and Diamondknuts: Attorneys At Law.


facepalm to *me*? i'm not the guy who thought that parachuting this guy onto japan would be more of a war crime than dropping atomic bombs on them.


At one point, six years ago, I was considering participating in a sequel to Sixteen Candles. But John Hughes didn't want to have sequels to any of the movies I was in and I didn't feel comfortable doing it without his involvement.


The danger with muder legislation is that "Americans who illegally kill another person" will become "Americans who own a gun or knife or rope or anything poisonous and are therefore will *probably* murder another person".

Or, to put it another way, at least see what they do before you decry it as being shallow, superficial, token, discrimatory and unfair.


Sounds like ComCATS!

HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!

I hate my life.


I didn't want to go and I was totally unaware of the controversy, but excluding people based on race, gender or sexual preference...  either it's fine in all cases, or it isn't.

I don't think anyone is out to get me, it's just laughable to see you trying to rationalize sexism in Seattle in 2012.


It may have been the last straw in a string of other problems she had outside of work.


Yea that makes sense, I mean people like doctors only have responsibility for peoples lives, CEOs are responsible for money!


Look at you with all your common sense.


... and all senior citizens should have Life Alert. Check your classist privilege, not all doctors can afford fancy waiting room dioramas of perfectly healthy, necessary good body fat.


Lik dis if u cry evertim


Why isn't it?

Look at what happened to South Africa when whites settled there.... they totally screwed the culture.

It's the same now in white countries.


Obligatory link to /r/blackfathers


you call it what you want when you get some.


Plus, zero-gravity sex.


No, by saying "this morning" you're implying that this is something that's new to me today.

It ain't, bro.  I have *always* hated you.


In case you didn't know, your parents love you.


I get buried once a day or more. I love the fuck out of it.


Yeah we didn't have time to change it to A4 we were too busy landing on the fucking moon.


Is it bad I felt good seeing that picture?


Same with drugstore makeup. Why would celebrities wear $5 mascara when they can probably afford the best on the market.


That's the joke, slick.


And don't delete the text, should you divorce, this and your flight itinerary may help you.

I'm sorry you're going through this, my first wife cheated on me while I was deployed :/


Yeah, you're such a fucking pillar of morality that you picked an overrated whiskey for your username, and you're so fucking smart that you can't pick out Priscilla as a female's name.


The best topping of them all.


Palm Pre is for fags. HTC all the way....


I take it he didn't get any music that day.


And the Listerine? Lol, mama's boy doesn't want cavities.


The restaurant business is cut throat. Long hours, little pay, usually high turnover and extremely susceptible in economic downturns. The vast majority of startups don't make it more then a few years.


I agree 100%. She'd be perfect for the live action Babe remake that's being released next year.


>  being curve stomped.

Yes.... curve stomped.  Let's change subjects.


the freaking dumb ones...

never got the point of whippits


Nope. Gonna go ahead and stand by what I've preached all week. Cowboys had plenty of opportunities and didn't cash in. We lost this one fairly.


I think you've done enough to justify prison


No offense, but the 12-year-old-you was an idiot.


Why do you need to be creepy?


At a gwar show I was at a few years ago, Oderus (the lead singer) said to the crowd "Now this is where we pretend that the show is over, wait backstage for a couple of minutes, have a drink, and then come back outta play a few more songs. Remember to act surprised!"


I'm sorry but I actually see some validity in wanting to marry a girl who has slept with no one else.  Knowing that you are the only man who's been in her feels special.  Also, women who are inexperienced (sexually, and in terms of life in general) are like clean canvases, where you can shape her in her formative time.


I know, stuff like this is partly why I don't believe in the death penalty. Imagine if the crime was murder and he got convicted and sentenced to death. Sometimes these things are decided on such small margins.


If you start the playing field level and don't disrespect first, you can be a bigger man.


Members of ISIS threaten to unfriend Tom Anderson.


> but I'm not mad

u mad


"Hey, man, here's a phone you could use to get a job."

*"That's a windows phone! Wrong kernel!"*


How's the 8th grade treating you?


At that point, just let him have the toilet


Can there ever be a thread about Messi where a United fan doesn't mention Ronaldo?  Let it go, bro.  He's not coming back.


US Army phone lines get DDOS'ed by everyone in America who knows morse code.


The US government had a hand in it as well as other political figures (not all American) and there's a TON of proof to that. Look it up.

Edit- this has nothing to do the topic nor should any of your latest questions or comments be in the Babybump forum, so what is your point of being in here? Just to piss off pregnant people? Geez...


Throw a million my way when you win and I'll take my pants off.  Got you, bro.

EDIT: Due to so many of you trying to undercut my price, I just took my pants off pro bono.  The market has now dried up suckers.


You can count on my spirit lance. I'll show myself out.


On behalf of r/guns, I thank you for saying "magazine" and not "clip.". Have a nice day.

Edit: Since the question came up, here is the difference:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ukzp4/im_sick_of_all_your_girlfriends_say_yes_to_all/c4wegj3


Fuck your dead grandfather. You karma-whoring faggot. Good thing he's dead and not here to see you glamorizing his addiction to alcohol and weight problems.


*Why* the fuck do you know that shit


I really disliked the frequency and the duration of those looks in The Office. Modern family seems to do it a lot less and for less of a duration. It's like those dumb family guy jokes where they draw something funny out so it's just stupid.


This is the problem I have with it.

She didn't respond to the writer's concerns at all. She just took it as an attack and went off to an emotional rant about bullying and how to help the kids.

Hardly an "incredible response"


I used to be a Farside comic, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


>Knock knock

Who's there?
>9/11

9/11 who?
>You said you'd never forget ;_;


That's why Democrats promote lessons on gun safety in school, and value school shooting sports that almost guarantee a kid won't be involved with gun violence or serious accidents.

Oh wait, they oppose all of that, preferring a ban on even talking about it, and more laws that push for a kid's first encounter with a gun to be illegally rather than in a safe, controlled environment.


Please don't fist the cat.


America is a melting pot, moreso than the UK.


The first book actually states, that the eagles want nothing to do with the mortals war...movie completely left it out.


Don't be a prick. You know nothing about this child or his family.


I was sharing the room with my Sister :/


Almost as if there's two distinct armies of man babies who take Internet way too seriously


Can confirm.

I'm in college, moved away from home, and I've always been good with awkward situations, but my proverbial kryptonite would be having to watch an intimate scene in a movie with my parents.


Good. I hate fat slobs.


Can confirm that, lived in the UK for a while. If you're not in the queue, you won't get served. Which means if you're the only person at McDonalds you'll have to wait for a second customer.


why not reply to my post? I see a downvote already.. lol OP are you trolling? post some REAL proof


Mmmmmmm poop noodles.


I used to think that im really on r/funny, then type a bunch of ones as exclamation points, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Also my chair isn't that nice.


Probably on the back retard... would you make an art piece with the welds showing on the front? Doubtful...


Their fault for taking your stapler.


wo-ho hey guys welcome to haha games.

^^^^^niceme.me


>"Irish Goodbye"

So THAT'S what they call it.  That's my M.O.


it actually isn't. most people live below poverty.


I'm using this as an insult from now on. This is just so wonderfully, dirtily eloquent I want Peter Capaldi to shout it at me in Scottish.

*"YOUR ONLY CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT WAS POKING YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR MOTHER'S CUNT YOU RELENTLESS FUCKUP"*


as if every affected person was banned justly. my in-game name is not offensive at all and if you think that calling an enemy a "cunt" in chat is worthy of a 3 day suspension you should get rid of the support team


We put our own five faves on the back of [our business cards](http://i.imgur.com/82t0R.jpg)


i can tell this is going to be a good karma train so I'm gonna jump on board before it leaves the station


It's even worse when Redditors say "It's my real life cakeday"; No it isn't, it's your fucking *birthday*, you twat.


Rovers are Red, Violets are purple, what team do i support? it ain't fucking local.


50 Shades of Neckbeard


Not to burst your bubble or anything but ea even named one of their games after modern warfare


It's due to 24 hour news cycles.  They need to fill time slots to keep the network going, which is why you will see a bunch of bullshit stories.  They are just filling space.  Most of us know it's bullshit.  Most of us don't even watch the news, we read it.


Yeah, because whatever it is—*that's* what you've been missing.


Haha.. I have been careful. I did vacuum some pieces at one point, so I had to open the dustbag and find them :b


I guess it is, judging from the backlash. But hey, it's not me going in circles. In life, you can swim, or you can drown. Floating around only gives you a limited time to survive. If I am a dick for saying someone should start to swim before he drowns, so I'll be a dick I guess?


No, since family feud isn't 21 minutes of references.


This being a NSFW thread i should have expected that - still, i would have appriciated the warning.


So what? Other companies don't even give you this option.


Anywhere other than Texas, maybe.


>Are they fucking retarded?

Yes


Right, but what is our plan *if* something does happen?  Do you know, do you trust your government to tell you?   Do you trust them to have any freaking clue?


Black and Decker Pecker Wrecker eh?


girlfriend here, no worries for the OP ;)


It was like a surprise visit from the most fun person you know.


You are dumber than a box of rocks.


|And she... Asked me... VERY uncomfortably... if I fantasized about her.

Oh my god I'm so sorry...


Yeah I can't figure out why people think it's okay to neuter animals.

"It's to reduce the risk of cancer."

Yeah you won't get testicular cancer if I cut out your balls, why don't you lay down over here...

EDIT: haha, holy fuck. 8 minutes and -15 vote total.... and one reply. Reddit is a cesspool of mouthbreathers that can't handle a difference of opinion.


What's equally disgusting is that the British government is so desperate to be America's number one chum that it will happily sign an extradition agreement allowing British citizens to be tried in the U.S. despite the fact that they have not committed a crime in their home country.

If Whitehall had an ounce of fucking backbone they'd tell Washington to go screw themselves.


Yeah dude, I bet you're an authority when it comes to officials. I bet you've reffed a few games yourself. I'm sure you're very qualified to judge officiating.


Dude you were in the twilight zone.  Except you're one of the people that did the right thing, not the ones they make episodes about.

Spooky.


Yup, the advice of the century folks. Let's tell my wife she's a cheating whore so I can be destroyed by divorce court and ruin my life because I can't survive without her income right now. Seems. Seems. Seems like. I'm sorry, I meant to say fuck off.


The upvotes will ease the pain of loss.  Shhhh, shhhh.


Maybe I'm just an idiot, but it seems as though my iPhone (Yeah, I know, hoping to get an Android eventually) can only lock to portrait orientation and not to landscape.


No the guys wearing business suits are hijacking your tax dollars.


No...  The slots cut into he log are used to stuff bark and shit, which is fuel.  The log is used to keep the fire away from the snow, which would melt and put a normal campfire out.

You'd be a shit eskimo.


Congratulations, you've invented "balancing your checkbook."


Zero insight had, try again.


I'm sexy cus I throw it


Lol ,  you're completely wrong.  Nice try though.


Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.


He quit way before this happened. Did you ever watch a Colts game?


No, it really is not like calling a man's dick small at all.


but u cant see any detail on youtube


That or a toe cramp right before bed.


Why? Its just being childish. Its not like it actually does them any harm to just sit there.


Just finished writing a novel I've been working on for a year. It's a great feeling.


*winks drops his pants and says "neither can I velma, Neither can i."


And masturbate to it while at work, right?


OH MY GOD END OF THE WORLD. WE HAVE .4 LESS VRAM OMG HIDE THE CHILDREN SAVE THE CHILDREN


I heard it was something along the lines of "it was always his song, I just wrote it first"


Yes, blame the victims. The whole staff is nothing but evil bastards and the innocent manager is the real victim. They all just decided to gang up on her for no reason.


The title of their last episode was "Two For the Road."

How appropriate.


> It's the patriots man, this happens so often and there are rarely ever repercussions

Spoken like a fan of a losing team. The salt is unreal.


Proctor & Gamble for the curious but lazy


DoA pls murder Moletrap.  -sc2community


And people don't collectively find a beautiful woman ugly just cause she has a ponytail and glasses.


Downvoted, because even if this is the whole story, it's not really relevant to the OP.  The question was about wars, not alleged political manipulation/disruption.


Hey remember me I was there too?
I set up the swing set and pretended to deliver pizza?


**RESIDENT EVIL CAN SUCK MY COCK! WORST GAME EVER**

**GO AHEAD DOWNVOTE ME BITCH! BECAUSE YOU DICKHEADS CAN SUCK MY DICK TOO**


for some reason, I thought Frank was singing the Doctor Who theme.


You mad bro? You mad.


"Pink"? The bag on the left clearly says "oINK".


ME TOO!....wha' are we talkin' about?


In my head I fast forward 5 minutes to when you're told the backup is up and running, then flash over to the customer's office to see all the lights out, papers set alight in drums to provide heat, and packs of accountants roaming semi-naked throughout the cubicles armed with staplers and sharp office supplies searching for a female sacrifice to appease the spirits who destroyed the server.


Yea but unfortunately that black guy is a huge egotist.


I can easily see this in the local news.

*"Borders' Boner Books Baffle Buyers!"*


I used to see that pic everywhere and instinctually think the two circles were bewbs, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


This beat is nice...DJ KHALED
Next.


>play with kids' genitals in a park.
FTFY
Edit: Oh god what have I done!! Most downvotes I've ever had! I'm horrified yet proud. Carry on chaps!

BTW I'm a lesbian and not a pedophile.


"Is mayonnaise an instrument?"


ah, the old [Reddit Switacharoo](http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/pij8e/a_girl_i_went_to_high_school_with_recently/c3pmqzg)


The French got distracted after 69.


that's fucked up who would jack of to this shit


Hmm,  seems theoatmeal is down


Reddit you aren't better of 4chan.
you haver/picofdeadbaby and r/beating women, r/spacedicks and r/gore, and a lot of other shit like r/jailbait...and probably there is more.

4chan will be always the original furnace of new idea, also 4chan  is populated by g enius mind, and you have to admit there is some geniality in that site.
...but sure, reddit is cool and stuff...


It's a shame my dog couldn't sense this in my ex


I highly doubt you met any blacks at all if you really think the differences are "superficial".
In fact, i think you are fabricating this whole fucking post.

Next you'll be telling us gender is "superficial differences" as well!


upvote for power dumping


Seahawks are the only team to ever start a fight in a Superbowl when the game was ending… most classless team in pro sports.


I thought this was a response to just a normal person.  Then i read the username

Edit: i dunno why this got so many upvotes. It's sort of a stupid comment


not classy at all, full of atheist ignorance...

Atheists get all heated that religious people indoctrinate their children, but this is clear proof that atheist parents are even bigger offenders. DOUBLE STANDARDS MUCH? :) Your guy's logic is lacking, no wonder you are atheist.


I'll get back to you.


solid seasons? you of all people should know that nothing about Torres is solid at this point


I had to unsub because I couldn't stand the comments anytime there was a woman involved in the video, no matter what she was or wasn't doing.


No, because I'm not a woman.


You are what you eat, so maybe he was just being himself.


I am . . . whoever I need to be to find happiness in my life.  Isn't that what we all should be?

Also, you assume that posts made by the same reddit account are posts made by the same person.  That's not a good assumption.  I have many names and many faces.


The President has people who do that for him


If only the husband's response was "fuckin' niggas". . .


>Don't get attached

too late. I don't even live in Brazil, but I want Gunter


I knew I was going to get downvoted to oblivion. You see, the thing is that the person to which comment I've answered downvoted me because I dared to make a comeback. Rest of the people simply followed that pattern without even reading what is going on. You see a comment with few downvotes, so let's kick it while it's lying in the gutter. Typical.


Pirate scouts love bitches.


But honestly, 4 years ago is a little long. I doubt they are even looking for it or even care at this point.


It's an old access code sir, but it checks out.


Oh look, it's THAT guy again.


If those are his sisters, then yes.


I'm confused as to how this is pretentious.  I was making fun of a book that I thought was poorly written.  I realize that I had an unnecessary comma, but then again I was live-tweeting sometime around 1 am.


This is what they do to me at work and it's fucking infuriating.


I hoped this bullshit would contain itself to 'murica. Its hitting to close to home tho.


EIGHTY-SEVEN DOLLAR DOLLAR.


It is not mine it is a friend of mines OC, I was testing to see what would happen if I reposted with the exact title as his..... there ass...J/K I love you.


Not a prostitute myself, but Askreddit threads like [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2w79mu/serious_stripperssex_workers_of_reddit_what_are/) pop up from time to time and suggest that sick fucks are a small minority. Mostly it's just lonely people.


And he's still smiling.


FOOKIN OFF THE RAILZ


Did someone go outside and shove a handful of ~~snow~~ **cock** right into her own face just to shock her?


I thought the best way to keep guacamole fresh was to eat it all when first served and not leave any to brown?


I hope so! One Free Upvotes, please!


YES. They could make Ocean's Twenty-Seven and I would still be throwing my fucking money at it. Oh god it's like an illness.


And heres a downvote for your pussyness.


Anyone else wish they could've just jumped in and smacked the doctor?


Was making sure this was said somewhere, was not dissapointed.


"Most incredible orgasms ever"

-Leila


So you'd rather be the guy doing an aerial off a cliff than the guy just filming it? What if you hit your head and got knocked out? The Parachute wouldn't bring you back to consciousness.


From Wikipedia: "As of February 2014, Mia Farrow has twenty living children (four biological, nine adopted)"

4 + 9 = Wot


If I saw that while driving with someone, I would try a mission impossible/fast and the furious type maneuver to get onto that platform. Then I would try to steal the tumbler, because once I get that thing started, lets be honest, its a black tank.


They don't call them the Fighting Irish because they are fond of rational discourse.


Wow, that game looks boring. What kind of faggot would buy that shit?


Why are you guys friends with 12 year olds on Facebook?


http://i.imgur.com/YlWWn.png geez tough crowd


Rick: People from the outside measure you for what they can take

10 seconds later

Rick: And then we'll just take this place

welp way to support the stereotype


It should be they are fake. They are good for looking at and not much else imo


I think you're forgetting it's directed by [Michael Bay.](http://static03.mediaite.com/themarysue/uploads/2011/11/bayhem_internets.jpeg)


Such a Reddit post.  Same contrarian, "always against the grain," stilted "progressive" ideology you see everywhere on this website.  Miserable.


I know I wanted to buy that man a beer! Holy shit he was awesome. If I had a dad like that I don't know what I would have done lol


So if you do something good that isn't your job, then you are a hero? Care to explain?


I hated everyone on this website before this video even was made.


I actually have a job that pays 120K USD equivalent a year. I also live in Europe. I would be terrible at research. Why don't you join the thousands of men and women who are trying to cure cancer?


Half? Isn't that sub about putting people in their place? Half sounds... kinda fair.

But yeah i feel ya


Only cod actually runs at 60 on xbone.

And only PC/xbone actually get a constant/near constant 60. Only PC gets constant 1080p or over.


Hmm, I will file this tidbit away for next time.


Amusing, but useless. How about the solid information to support it?


About the never go to bed angry thing. My ex had this bad habit of talking about serious things as we lay in bed trying to sleep. She would say something along the lines of "well, I missed my period again. I wonder if I'm pregnant. Welp, goodnight!" I had to ask her to stop doing it because it is hard to fall asleep with a thought like that bouncing around your brain.


And people wonder why he gets typecasted...


He IS wearing purple before spring.


ask no questions and you will get no lies


Your 2girls1cup reaction probably wasn't very exciting.


It isn't his fault.  He is black, less evolved and less intelligent.


Man, I know. I don't miss the days of automatically being wrong just because we were kids.


We generally don't, but the original proof she sent wasn't sufficient so I asked for follow-up proof.


How will envy wipe his ass without tp?

EDIT: Thank you for the gold kind stranger!


ha ha ha! holy shit. thank you for making me laugh today. i needed that.


Also with Titanic, it's ridiculous to think that they would build a passenger ship that size without enough lifeboats. Further, a ship of that size would be virtually unsinkable.


I have no problem with them voting. I have a problem with who they are voting for (a small faction within the joint Arab list).


And why it was always spaghetti and meatballs.


He's been banned, thank you.


They are completely justified. The fact she didn't go to the police means there was a line between it being rape and not. She clearly didn't set the boundaries during the sex, which led to her fucking up and now she thinks she was raped, when it was actually consensual sex.


There's going to be another one launched on google.com within the next few days.  One that r/starcraft would particularly like...that's all I'm going to say.


what kind of people don't use one-time CC#s provided by almost every major CC company?

Here's a hint: Stupid people

edit: ah all the downvotes. I forgot I was on the macboy gadgets reddit. Here's some sand. you precious snowflakes know where to stick it


Not what I was expecting..


Indeed it is good sir!


When she finds out it will be the ultimate test of whether she actually wanted to know what was up of if she just wanted you to do what she told you to.


I'm the voice of reason who is tired of bullshit faggots thinking they are special.

This isn't facebook or BET, no one gives a shit.


President Obama was speaking to the team in a televised phone interview.  During the interview he said, "Guys, if you find any martians be sure to give me a call.  At the moment, I'm pretty busy with other things - but this would be bumped to the top of the list."


Well yeah I wouldn't say it isn't bad. I just love pissing people, our little secret okay?

Also, why does everyone always assume I'm on linux just because I'm not on Windows. I'm currently giving Debian GNU/kFreeBSD a go in fact.


We hope you enjoyed your stay in Detroit, please come again!


woah woah woah well that CHANGES EVERYTHING

happy, even though I'm mad and making a good, albeit impolite, point and not a totally pathetic and desperate troll, you don't reply when people make comments like this. Don't do it. Remember where you are, ignore it and move on.

That doesn't change that this picture is not at all funny though.


& he walked uphill both ways in the snow to work & school every day.


lol.  In Mother Russia, **FIRE** melts **YOU**!!

Oh man, someone had to say it!!!!!!  So fucking funny my sides hurt.  Crispy fried ruskies... lol, I thought we'd nuke them before they start lighting themselves on fire!  Keep it up commies!


I think she's playing hard to get.


Reddit translation: WINNING!


Shit! Watch out for that hydrogen atom!


Yeah, most campus police ppl are niggers it explans alot


I was so scared to click that link.


..mmh...nope. Didn't bother...aaand not bothering now either... And...even so..I still don't beleive it.
Yep.. that's how I roll.


I think people have missed the joke but don't worry, i've got your back.


No, I made the prediction after I saw the title, but xray vision sounds cooler so let's go with that.


Fucking this...

Once, an argument between a friend's family was so heated, I impulsively interjected (I never *ever* do that kind of thing) and yelled out "Why are you all arguing in front of a guest?!" The mom looked at me really sweetly and said "But you're family." as if they hadn't been arguing at all.

I felt terrible.


Contrary to what seems to be popular belief, men can tell the difference between subtle/natural makeup and no makeup and lots of us prefer no makeup, yes even on ladies who aren't perfect 10s in their natural state.


Most definitely. You are guaranteed to learn and experience a great time.


Why don't we all just play dota until league is less of a bowl of shit?


\*puts on sunglasses\*

*YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*


Mine is still there. All I did was imply that the girl was fat. It's not my fault they mistook her for the couch and reported her missing.


> Why some guys will act like the nicest people on earth to a woman, but as soon as the woman says they're not interested, insult them.

Bitterness is a coping mechanism for rejection.


* Usefulness to topic: 5/10

* Humor rating: 0/10

* Reddiquette rating: 5/10

**Final Score: 3.3/10**

---

_General Remarks:_ The pun threads should become a thing of the past on Reddit.  They largely do nothing besides clutter the thread they are within and add much unneeded noise.


Yeah this could be about any one of us


While members of GG might identify as left-wing, the movement itself has taken various right-wing stands on issues and has virtually no prominent left-wing support.

We're not claiming GGers can't be left-wing. We're claiming that, as a collective, the movement has taken right-wing stances.

And I'd disagree on the whole "foundation of lies" thing. :)


Red/Orange Top, blue jeans. Represents Up/down votes

Edit: Since, about half of us are probably going to sit at home and masturbate on Sunday, I say we do the prank AFTER Sunday. We can all take part in this this way. But uhh...this is up to OP since it's his idea.


Haha it's funny because he should kill himself.


Wouldn't want to die and have to start over.


Nope, just dropped a Nokia phone.


Seems like many news agencies are acting like pussies.
Edit: I realize that they are just trying to deal with recent news in a delicate manner but I don't believe censoring the images is the best course of action.


It was his friend who was texting, not him.


It's like the person who designed the form thought "well, if the person is filling out a job application, their meth habit has to at least be under control...".


Someone told me I was tangibly autistic. I don't know what that means but that might count.


I went from haha to a episode of intervention.


They took something good, and made it better. that's the world we live in, are you going to make videos about apple for stealing ideas or indie devs making games similar to minecraft now too?