surprise, I'm skinny. can you actually show me in what way does it say praise me, or should we discuss our smells a bit more?


Louis C.K.

**MYTH CONFIRMED**

Edit: thanks guys


And make them pay for the bullets.


I'm not really trying to say anything. Some Canucks fans seem to want to make this some big thing when in reality it was just an average hockey hit.


Well, hello there. ;)


THIS IS NOT /r/politics.  TAKE THIS SHIT OUT OF HERE


She said she was a girl not some sort of super hero.


As a cancer survivor. I can tell you that shit can always be worse. Breaking up with your "gf" of 3 days isn't that dramatic or life changing.

Edit: This is aimed at 14-15 year olds. If it offended you because you thought I was talking about serious relationships I'm sorry.


I know, they probably had to stop the fireworks show.


Many mothers? It looks like he may have had 2.


* Saw Pic
* yellow liquid in picture
* this is reddit
* first comment
* piss


Who separates downtown with a dash? Fuck you.


Translation- homosexuality isn't what is is being shunned, it's the fact that you're *women-like*. At it's heart, homophobia is a manifestation of misogyny.


How witty and topical. Great comment.


"Do you need any help. Do you need my assistance."


At the time I wrote it there were none in the avenue.


I saw your TL;DR before I read the story. Thought you actually fucked the cartridge insertion thing. I'm glad you didn't...


Really? Cold weather, horrible food, depressing architecture, oppressing class system. What's so great about that?


Inara & Kaylee in a lesbian scene... Mmmmmmmmm


Aw, look, someone who couldnt handle 6 weeks of physical fitness, so hes bitching about how evil the military is.


At least he's not hypocritical :D


As opposed to the flames-avs game which had 4 penalties total.


What drug dealer is stupid enough to put "drug money" in the comment section?

If you just put "Illegal Activities" in the comment section, will the same thing happen?


Nice wordplay there.


"I made out with an ER nurse once. Don't worry, I can totally treat this gunshot wound."


We told her that we would wash the sheets but she still wasnt having it.


I imagined God with a jewish accent. I like this joke.


That's no way to treat anyone, especially a lady.


Race jokes do not make someone racist. Making fun of racial stereotypes do not make one racist. Treating someone negatively, based on their race, makes one racist.


I am forced to dispute through paypal then.


That is the highest resolution image of a Hostess cupcake I have ever seen.


lulz kinda does. I fucking hate pixar movies


Umm. Probably not. Double it and make it tax free. Now were talking.


It's really not that mind-blowing


One could say that the French bring balance to the Force.


Yep, he's a fucking ignorant selfish porch monkey.

All the upvotes and luck wished upon you, truth speaker.


Stupid teachers are what's wrong with America.


Some [context](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0). The man lost is wife in 1977, the guitar was her most loved instrument. The man suffers from a fear of flying, so he saws only his homage as pictures.


To this I would like to add:

8 . What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen Swallow?


It's not about internet points; it's about posting something I found funny that I think other people, who may not have been around when it was last posted (I sure wasn't), would too. You seem to be the one focused on the Internet points aspect of reddit ...


*"Well, I make $5,000 per scene and I shoot an average of 15 scenes per week."*


It will be amicable, until her lawyers and her female friends convince her she can steal everything he has in a divorce.


It's almost like people who know nothing about firearms tend to hate them the most.


Watch out here, Reddit doesn't take kindly to the man making assumptions of things that are actually happening in front of your eyes. You obviously should have been thoughtful enough to disregard his poor time management skills and worry about what matters, his resume and skills.  Everything else is irrelevant.


>More facesit time for me.

What? Upvote. *Hard.*


Too bad women age like shit and by 30 they're on their 15th crash diet and their tits sag like fried eggs ;(


And a man walking into the room holding a fake $1,000,000 check


This is gay as fuck and horribly written. How's the eighth grade going


The one time I'm too early to a thread to see what happens.


Maybe I'm just ignorant, but isn't hentai BY DEFINITION creepy shit like tentacle rape?


I am glad that story went the happy route.


I hope you get stomach cancer.


"Damn it vagina, you've had an HOUR to solve 15 across!"


Soccer sucks - if it didn't, there would be more double digit scores.


> He actually came up to us, and physically altered us

I'm picturing him saying, "you there, you would look better with a black eye I think." ***KAPOW!!!***


Sorry Mr. Indian. Next go around try to develop medicine that works and 80% of your population wont get wiped out without the white man having to lift a finger.


I'm having trouble getting my penis on the monitor...


You *really* shouldn't say that about sexual sin.


Yeah, and throw in some cunnilingus to further brighten up her day


I'll pass, thanks. Too many movies ruined there for me to go back.


I'm done with this life. The last words of François Rabelais were "I go to seek a Great Perhaps." I am ready for my great perhaps.


Downvoted because the cross on his chest.

edit: yeahhhhhhh, keep downvoting me.


No, this is what happens when assholes vote for retards. Or the other way around. Same result.


XP

EDIT: Dear everyone. That is meant to be a very amused face sticking out its tongue. Good day.


Jesus christ Marie, they're minerals


Dude, sorry, but seriously, if god had anything to do with it, wouldn't their native country not be fucked up to begin with?


As a server,
This just made me laugh while in line at the DMV, and the DMV is where happy people go to become miserable people.

Thank you sir.


Yep, you certainly added to the conversation, you can have MY upvote!


5 - Hour energy. Your 2:30 feeling like.

5 ^ 2 - 3 + 0! = 23

It's a conspiracy.


He could have left obama but omitted "mfw".


Jaden, your alt accounts aren't fooling us anymore.


If women were prone to assaulting children the way statistics show women are prone to assaulted by men, I wouldn't have issue with it.


\> tree branches

\> stick out


> With nothing more than orb of venom I can kill everyone

FTFY


>Joe Biden

FTFY


Oh good, someone's trying to drag religion into the conversation.


Think about where she just came from. As a senior in high school, dating someone 3 grades below you means you're dating a 9th grader. In some areas 9th grade is still held in the Middle Schools.


Haha I don't think even Asian men would wanna wear that. It looks so feminine. Source: am Asian.


The shitty cardboard package takes precedence over player character? Now that's what I call Priority Mail.


Where did your 50 upvotes come from? =P


False. My parents had 2 biological children and I am 100% convinced they've never had sex. Not a single time in their 40+ year marriage. Really.
*please let me cling to my delusion*


"a left-wing hippie peace-keeping liberal"

Yes, motivated to not get a job, smoke pot, and annoy normal people with a "revelation" of pothead stupidity.

If he had one braincell he wouldn't have smoked up the whole apartment building.


Raw clams on haf shell,
Chris COsentino's tomtato vine pasta,
roast pork from Palacio de los Jugos,
Lee Hefter's geoduck in salty sweet chile paste,
roasted duck from taipei night market,
lamb face noodle from Xian Famuous,
Marea's lobster salad and uni amusee,
Desserts from Salty Tart in Mpls


GLORIOUS! CAN WE FIND MORE LIKE THAT!


And now you have a friend named "Lefty."


Are you also a parent? If not, shut the fuck up.


You should have done the same thing they did to their customers. Extra precision costs extra money.... exponentially more money..


You're not starving, you're just hungry. Kids in Africa are starving, some kids will literally die if they don't eat today.

/petpeeve


Thank you for writing. I am making a list of those things to look at. My favorite thing to look at so far is the plant where I was able to see an actual plant cell.


actually we have 6 super bowls. most of any team


I've seen 3 year-olds. I'm not impressed.


As a fellow 4k gamer -- don't you find it hilarious how many people don't believe you when you say you can push past 60fps?  Every time I bring it up in gaming forums or on reddit( especially reddit) all of a sudden I am expected to prove myself by posting my system stats.  I stopped responding because it almost always turns into a conversation about how I'm lying.


"You want to drive a Mercedes? That's the car that killed Princess Diana!"

*yanks E-Brake*


I find some of the posts in this sub of personal dating profiles not OK. These people did not consent to have their picture and name posted on here and getting ridiculed.

What some users of this sub do is cyber bullying. And now one faces the consequences in the form of real life bullying.


Little kids are totally awesome sometimes they can say the meanest things but other times they just prove that other people are just assholes.


Because I have thoughts on the topic.

NO NEED FOR ME TO DISTORT THEM WITH A STUPID ACT, PAL.


Thats the glory of a glory hole. Any one could be on the other side.


Dude are you [Quentin Blake](http://i.imgur.com/uoCAN.jpg)?


Guess I'm just the asshole with a regular computer...


I disagree good sir! :)


And you can't see them at night! ...(too much?)


fail if you get cheated on by a women you are a real life forever alone who manged to get lucky and fiind a wife


I would give my friend $20, but I wouldn't pay him a monthly allowance that he doesn't need.


I can now confirm that this post is spam. It was flagged and brought to my attention. Users were offended since the comment is racist(nigger bashing) and the user is linking to underage porn.

Did i get it right?

Please upvote me so i am able to continue to help eliminate spam from this great site we all love.


* Please don't look at my files?
* Ok
* *customer leaves*
* Search for *.jpg
* HOME MADE PORN AHOY


>why does this woman have to begin labeling people as she fits?

Because shes a mod.

>Let the downvotes work as usual, and stick to being a sentient spam filter

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>it's not your community. It's ours

No its ours -_-


That'll get you 20 years in Canada.


Go make a greentext story on r9gay about how much of a fuck up you are.


so you're on reddit, going through books looking for answers to questions we're giving you, asking girls for blowjobs, taking shots AND avoiding the authorities?

you, sir, are now my new role model


They're canceling because Bryan didn't win. He can't win everything all the time.


You should grease the coffee table.


Ha!
I'm just 3 episodes from finishing Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. (Lurking on Reddit while the Hulu ads play.) Man is this series good!


Breaking News: You need new friends.


Yeah, men make more money ergo they *own* their children! Because here in 'merica, money equals legal rights.


Way to be an ignorant piece of shit <3 I'm done with this argument/sub


Your mom is a bitch.  Kids do stupid stuff.  Parents shouldn't continuously throw embarrassing crap back at them.

Lock your door and tell her to fucking knock.  Or just do it in the living room if she won't leave you alone.


But is he a lego maniac?


shit two years was just for being black


All aboard the downvote train!


If by art you mean cocaine, then yes!


it really works in random ways


Sorry but its pee....

If the girl hasn't drank enough water you can see and smell its pee


Oh god... worst $60 I ever spent..


I've got to say, as a fellow worrying bf, a simple text message that says "Hey, going over to [friends] house. talk to you tomorrow" would be damn simple to do.

If your in a relationship, I'd say it's just damn disrespectful of the other's feelings not to do so. Spend three seconds typing a text, and everyone is happy.


I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain to you how solar power works.


Either way it's a huge plus.


Skyrim copied the one from Turok. Also lol @ pc version


The fat guy in the front row is not impressed.


doesn't matter hes still terrible

and yes I didn't watch the game because I'd rather eat my own feces than watch a liverpool game.


Some people using computers up to this day have never laid hands on a woman.


its a bit long for a dildo, isn't it?

*checks pants* nevernmind..


Dog here. I have no idea what's going on.


>2a : straying outside the proper path or bounds <an errant calf>

>2c : behaving wrongly <an errant child>

Looks correct to me.


This comment will pop up in my head i 20 years when I have a 12 year old daughter and scar me for life.


Please do not call me boy. I am not your house nigger. You guys stick pens through the trigger guard. I think my finger is safer than some pen.


You should have poured that beer into a teacup and drank it with your pinky out. It could have salvaged everything.


oh, thanks. i was afraid people would mistake this post as being sarcastic. you've correctly inferred that i simply did not know what this contraption should be used for. (besides helping you look like a douchebag for spending $2,400 on an *outdoor elliptical machine*.)


> The guy has been an elected official for over 20 years.

And that should not be allowed.


Yea can you believe some people do that shit on purpose?


We’re going to compete! We completely dominated F1 for five years, while Mercedes just won last year’s championship. When you compete, you won’t always win. From time to time you accept that you lose, and loss is at the base of revival of performance.


This proves how nice reddit is. -44 points... Jeez


Glad the parents reprimanded the kid and not the waitress!


I'm just sitting back watching all these keyboard warriors get butthurt over something so simple lol.


> George Washington's wealth was also tied up in land and slaves, so he didn't have the purchasing power we associate with the wealthy.

First president problems


I hate the society we live in sometimes

Did anyone ask him what's wrong? He could have some serious issues going on right now and needs someone to talk to


I would go with " Hello I am The Power."


And I am guessing so is your recording.


About halfway through, I was ready to comment with, "I was too distracted by the girl in the background!".

I like the way these guys think.


Do you read? He said he imagines things but doesn't act on it, which means no.


Mod this down if you think George bush is a cunt.


Number of parents present in childhood: 2


but seriously i wouldn't call any girls offended by this feminists, you dont have to be a strong believer in a woman's rights to be annoyed that we're celebrating this guy performing a successful mass grope. But i bet a thread on 2X will be created momentarily where various woman will read too much into this and come to the conclusion that all men are rapists because we found this video funny.


> Need to find one with stronger settings for multiplayer.

Car battery.


When did publicly outing someone as trans against their wishes and implying she was "not a chick" before become not transphobic?


Holy boob shot, Batman.


No F poppy. Jesus how can people find anything to like about her?


That's what I kept trying to tell the cops.


No, I think I speak for everyone except you and the patriots fans


Oh you've already rebooted and that didn't fix the problem?  Let me swing by your desk.

Start > Run > CMD > net statistics server

...Your computer hasn't been rebooted since the end of the last ice age.  Please reboot every once in a while.


made me LOL when i read it.  have an upvote, good sir or madam!


Awww shucks :)

My daughter has been having some nightmares lately, so last night I told her to think about lots of happy things before bed.  She asked "What kind of things?"  I told her, "Some of your favourite things; hearts, rainbows, stars..."  She contemplated this for a moment and replied, "I'll think about YOU!"  This is how I know I must be doing something right. :)


I'm not a patriots fan but they just won the Superbowl for the 4th time since 2001 so nice try. While Washington is...ummm...yeah.

Also that was very clever.


It's because it isn't red as all arrows should be. That arrow is just unnatural, son.


I think you are on the wrong sub bud.


Protip: Your mother hasn't only ever been with your father.


Yours truly: Submits this stupid meme to prove what a shithole this subreddit is, and help [put it out of its misery...](http://www.reddit.com/r/Libertarian/comments/xil6y/lets_destroy_rrlibertarian_once_and_for_all/)

...GETS UPVOTED TO FRONT PAGE.


PIZZA HUT!
A nerd so true
A poke pizza for you
I'll make a good one for you
PIZZA HUT!


I used to ride the karma trains, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


"Can you tell your Granny I fucked your ass?"


I would love to be called an african american too, but alas, I'm as white as it gets.


Everyone else gets their free books and movies from the pirate bay.


I'm a Bama guy. I think I can handle it.


Seriously, who comes across a ring of alien corpses and goes "oh, sweet, I should post this on reddit"?

Where the shit did this come from?


Except that's the MSpaint airbrush tool.


I did not have any strawberries, however I can still report a breakthrough: I have confirmed that strawberry poptarts IN NO WAY provide the same effect mentioned above. Ugh.


Also, I want easy karma.


And benjen comes strolling by casually asking what the fuck has happened.


*insert /r/MensRights plug here*


People who wait to use their blinkers until they are actually turning.

EDIT: Clarification cause a few people seem to think I'm referring to lane changes: I am talking about when people should signal because they are about to turn onto another road, but they wait until the signal is useless and they are already turning.


I think you're missing the point that it was posted to be a JOKE.


>She was really nice and sweet.

YOU ATE HER?!??!?!


Now that's what I call a hot mama.


People laugh, but it really is extremely difficult in that game.


> Fact: penises can't travel through clothes

Actually they can. If the woman is wearing jeans with the fly open, the man's penis can extend through her fly and into her vag. In that situation she would still legally be fully clothed while the man is not.


Most Redditors have seen Shawshank Redemption


Yeah I guess that's true.


From criminal law class. Having sex with someone through fraud is not rape.


i doubt it, no one is that stupid today


Most the other stuff I thought, this is a lot like Jackass.  Then the building came down and I realized these guys are all suicidal.


Street ecstasy no less. They should analyze it and pin him with possession of meth and whatever other shit's in it.


its totally justified, its just not legal


upvoted just to piss you off....wait a minute...


Horses are terrible people.


>*Cool story bro.*
FTFY


I've been told I go from 0-100 far too quickly.


OP's pic

is this the birth of a new epic meme?


Yes but most importantly, he has more playoff wins than the Philadelphia Eagles.


I want upvotes

I said **upvotes**

**Upvotes**.  The one pointing **up**. The one that turns orange when you click on it. Not the blue one. Those are downvotes, and we don't want those.


I'm not fucking stupid. Eating a lobster that old is like chopping down a redwood tree to make toilet paper. It's just a dumb tree, right?


pm me I'm not an asshole :)

Edit: no replies or pm's. Hey ladies of reddit, don't fucking post on reddit if you have a husband (unless you're willing to cheat).


Aww. It's me, isn't it? :)


throw so hard.
Well they were probably 99% gonna lose regardless


I think 4 might also be the same girl as 2 and 3.
http://imgur.com/Q7DIe


Who cares what she thinks? She's retarded.


Hang on. Hang. On. Woah.

You are *so* rich that your wife didn't notice a 'missing' $50,000?!


haha not big enough

sincerely /r/patriots


I agree. It makes me want to have tea, and ride trains through the countryside. Maybe eating chocolates. Discussing love and adventures past.


"Lazy" a.k.a. "Pussy"


you smug motherfucker


> tenured employees

wat


This is a terrible answer, actually. Only a dick neighbor would do that. First you should at least say something. If it doesn't stop after you say something - then you go to more extreme measures.


Carolina's defense is garbage, they just happen to be going against a third string QB.


>Broke his leg in 2 places

Well he better not to go those places anymore[.](http://imgur.com/EfNwU)


still not a reason to have him on facebook. I mean... think about it


As somebody in their twenties who keeps hearing about the stupid things that people do in the twenties, but doesn't do stupid things that are cool and instead does stupid things that are awkward or boring, I feel like I'm missing out.


Find this funny because Juanito is my favourite player of all time.


Haha, me too.

NOTHING CAN STOP THE RED RAGE OF MY BONER


No, you just want a circlejerk where we talk about stereotypes, *or* because your dumbass can't cry on your fiances shoulder you need sympathy from all of Reddit.


* "My brother is amazing!"
* "Really, why is that?"
* "He once helped me remove my hand from my vagina after I got it stuck"


Hey, how about you mind your business?  I don't recall asking for a faggoty response.

Also, the reddiquete?  Don't make me laugh.  *Nobody* follows that anymore.


Alternatively:

**Don't go shopping while you're hungry. That shit's ridiculous.**


You're a perfect example of a typical reddit sports "fan".  That's a 2 game suspension--MAX.  Stop with the exaggeration.


I think at this point, most people have a passing knowledge of how awful a person he was.  The only reason we still have Columbus day is because it's a day off, and I don't care if it's called "Hitler Day," I want my day off.


Grammar/Spelling Corrections go against Reddiquette.


O god my knees are hurting so bad right now.


Bro, do you even seahawk?


Only 10 survived, many had to be put down :(


I'm surprised this post got voted up at all given that there are two errors in it.

(For anyone who hasn't passed third grade yet... it should read "friend's" not "friends" and "infront" is not a word... it's two words.)


Maybe in Canada you apologetic freak!


I don't think it was a euphemism.


Dumbest comment ever.

*EDIT* How am I getting downvoted, are you people really that daft? You payed for a CD key, you got one (shortly after purchasing). Just because the servers were temporarily down, doesn't mean you were sold something they didn't actually have. Quit being so entitled and go spend some times outside while you wait the 3 hours for the servers to come back up.


Child porn you pussy *fbi shows up at my house* crap.


lol. I'll get downvoted to shit for this, but seriously, you can fuck right the fuck off with that attitude. The mods in this subreddit have been endlessly amazing. Even if they are making a mistake right now - which I dunno about - that isn't an excuse for ignoring all their excellent work on this community. Go choke on a horse dick.


>stick my duck in it.

Peta would like to have a word with you.


considering posting to /r/hiphopcirclejerk


I did the same thing but realised it wasn't the girl I was interested in, it was the chair.

Me and Denise have been together 6 years now and we're expecting our first child this summer, I'm hoping for a foot stool. :)


It looks like what you put out is just garbage. Sorry, but this trash isn't even worth a dollar and idling for cards. Go shill your shitty products somewhere, else.


Female! Upon further inspection I have decided that your specifications meet my expectations. Report tomorrow for dinner and I shall continue your evaluation!


If you rate down or rate up this or the prior post, you're a homosexual {self.reddit.org}, I don't give a fuck which way you vote; as Andrew Dice Clay said, "You either Suck Dick. Or. You do not Suck Dick."

End of Story.


*The days were long, and the nights cold. As I sat in silence, even if just for a brief moment, the feeling of serenity that brought me peace faded, and*Oh hey look reddit's back up.


No, thank him for being quick on his feet and having the sense to pull himself together and do what needed to be done to save his sister.

Fuck you a million times over for trying to take away from what he did and attribute it to some stupid fucking deity.

Eat a dick you insensitive prick.


ADOPT ME BILL NYE!

IM A 27 YEAR OLD MALE WITH TWO LOVING PARENTS, BUT NONE OF THAT MATTERS.


How do you say "BURN~!" in chinese?

Oh, guttoral noises with random inflection? Thanks.


Oh man, that is awkward.


Fuck you kobe bitch.

Love this shit.


Lucky bitch just secured future free food


this lol  XD ^

**EDIT : WHY DOWNVOTE :(**


Honey badger don't give a shit!


> The conflict could be ended overnight if Russia stopped funding the pro Russian rebels in Eastern Ukraine.

It would've "ended" by getting millions of people killed and displaced. You're a little genocidal fuck are you.


so you're saying he simply.....walked?


A wicked pool... Oh wait, of course, **le** skateboarding ghost!


It was also a used copy


Sigh *unzips*

Edit. I can taste the lack of humor


I'm shocked your underwear pick-up line isn't working...


Pisses me off when people abuse the voting system....


Because both have standards too high for the others.


I find it more amazing that people actually care about it


Weird, the first thing I do when I arrive at someone's house is take off my shoes and pants


Spoiler alert, Australians speak English too. Beyond that, not every country is America where you need to dub foreign films to suit the likings of those living in trailer parks.


This is why I am not allowed on public transportation anymore.


HI WEDDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY MOMMY SAYD DAT I CAN STAY UP LATE TONITE SO I CAN SPEND MOAR TYME ON DA WEDDITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I have a theory that filming something removes you mentally from the reality of the situation. Or at least it does for some people.

I've looked for research on it, but I don't think any exists.


>I guess you can say the camera
>(**puts on sunglasses**)
>got buffed.

YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!


Indeed, I can confirm this.


And it's this viewpoint that has fucked American Society for the last 30+ years.


You want ants? Cuz this is how we get ants.


This whiteknight sounds mad. Well, the internet is SRS BSNS so maybe he is right!


Why do you want to be soft on crime? Do you hate your children? You'll understand when you have kids of your own, that you actually care about. Like I do. I care about my children, and they need to be protected from the evils of drugs, violence, and dancing.


Hi q00u. I made this game.


Also, here in Vermont, there's a phenomenon known as "Ben & Jerry's babies."

They come out REALLY big.

Those are babies from moms who have eaten a lot of Ben & Jerry's ice cream during their pregnancy. And the babies come out very robust.


What do you mean? They're all Draven.


Maybe even Bobobobobobobobobobobobobobobo bobobobobobo bobobobobobobobobobobobobo!


Dude. She's dead. Too soon.


"Why do black people have white palms? Because there's always a bit of good in everybody."  probably the most shameless joke I've heard.


^ this deserves to be on top!


10/10 would laugh again


France has allready ended as a country. Have you visited it? It's like a Muslim country and in 50 years it will be a completely Muslim country, with French being a minority.

Edit: I guess, writing something, which is true, but politically incorrect = downvotes. See you in the next submission about riots/burning cars.


Never sit in the front, always the back, have you ever heard of a plane reversing into a mountain?


mozart was insanely talented

that guy us making mashups of pop songs


"I'm the German who hates Sauerkraut."  FTFY


I'm ok with the CDC disagreeing with me. I don't agree with the AAP on things either.

The government is not right 100% of the time :)


Jay was in Mexico. Went to a whorehouse. Couldn't get it up. Whores laughed at his Roto Lagarto.


I think it depends on your definition of young.  I agree any kid under 20 driving a 50k+ car most likely didn't buy it themselves.  But I propose that men aged 25-35 most likely bought their 50k+ car themselves 90% of the time.  Women aged 25-35 driving a 50K+ car 20-30% of the time bought it themselves.


I can confirm I am delicious.


Did we really need shit, fuck, fuck? really?


I have two bosses at work that both interrupt everyone in every conversation. When they are in the same room talking to each other they both will talk at the same time for a solid 10 seconds before one of them finally caves and listens to the other. Its become a betting standard for our office on which will assert dominance that day and win the interrupting battle.


>Some people buy entire computers for one game.

Lol

BRING ON THE DOWNVOTES


Better make the best of it i guess...


You're not, you're pwoper whiny though.


I got banned from r/fitness for making a "that's what she said joke."

High comedy standards over there.

Edit: Some r/fitness mod is taking this very, very seriously. He's buried in these comments, but still valiantly pursuing justice.


Well it is hard to say without being there but the waiter could have prioritized the other customers and that is clearly what this couple thinks. It is worth mentioning that the customers specifically say they are NOT making this a racial issue.


"All my life, I had a lump in my neck. So they did the bop... bibop... bibopsy, and inside, they find hair, and a spinal column. Yes. Inside the lump, they found... my twin."


Please answer my question

Oh no you're going to downvote me instead of answering my question. Let that reddit hivemind flow through you


Thank you and have an upvote.


Came here to say this... Have an upvote...


Until you said that last part, you were male to me.


Oh wow, you are a jackass. Rachel Maddow's show is an example of the opposite of journalism. It is not impartial at all, and is pushing an agenda, just like all the Fox News and Talk Radio garbage. I can't believe you would call it real journalism, you are a joke.


TIL that "mooning over" means "lovestruck". I originally read your post and thought that the guy has been showing his bare ass for two years. I actually had to google the phrase.


Please leave sex out of this subreddit, many children frequent it.

Thank you.

[-52 votes, I love you guys so much. It's just too easy. I could have mentioned how awesome the holocaust was and not received so many.]


Get a life, and quit making these pointless reddit accounts just to see peoples reactions. Get off the computer.


Commenting here so I can refind and look at video when not at work


If these animals are being abused, then human models are abused when they are posed for photographs also.

edit: I'll go down with the ship!


"Oh sorry I didn't mean 'rape' I meant to say 'I will murder you!!!' ha ha oops!"


Shitty nu-metal band's are never amazing.


It's like the girl you could have banged...but totally blew your chance.


aww look it's BEP, lord of all shitlords


Yeah this isn't working out quite like I had planned


At least Mitt was born in the United States, unlike Obummer.  Talk about unfit to be president.


A bird in the hand beats two in the bush.

Unless in the bush, a fair lady should stand.

Then, a push in the bush beats one in the hand.

~My Uncle


That's what you get for going to a show for slimey losers, pax is amateur at best


Came here to say this one Instead I'll post [the video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4t6zNZ-b0A)

Maybe it's me but I thought this version was just as bad.


I think it's clear that that is precisely my reasoning and you're just wasting my time.


I am a wife who would never, ever do this sort of thing. The crazies stand out but they are *not* the majority.


damn you......damn you to hell...... jk


By far the best part of the video.


Its not rape. Just beacase she is drunk doesnt mean its rape. He didnt drag her to bed.


I wonder what would have happened if we would have done that.


"...my son's Warlock, flaming and spread eagle,  he began to take me from behind like an angel in the dark depths of the vault."


“Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.”

― Arthur C. Clarke


well biologically speaking, if the friend happened to be attractive enough, then no.


"And if we could zoom in on the pall bearer #4, we can see that he is using an interlocking under handed grip."

"That's right Johnny and a good grip it is indeed, especially for this situation. His fingers are interlocked and he's bending at the knee in absolutely perfect form. Well done."


?  Why did you go through all my old comments?  That's a bit weird...


This is no laughing matter.  I've been sitting on the I-15 since 1996.


The Internet is not for children. Simple as that.


Would suck again, 10/10.


It's sad how nerds who during school were traditionally the object of scorn and bullying are so quick to participate in it at home. Maybe most of these people deserve it. Maybe that's why nerds are bullied to start with?


I think you meant gang-bang, but I still read it right in my head lol.


Because Kanye is a bitch

Edit: Kanye may be relevant and talented. Still a bitch.

Edit 2: down voters are Kanye dick-riding bitches.


I HOPE PEOPLE SEE THIS ONE: http://i.imgur.com/lZQGt.png


It's the possessive form.  That's the correct usage.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe


I thought it was gonna be a pic like[ this](http://www.playlsi.com/SiteCollectionDocuments/Playlsi/Product%20images/Playground%20Extras/InfantBucketSwingSeat_360.jpg).


or you can go fuck yourself


How do these people manage to breed?


You're a bitter, whiney little nerd. That's your problem.


Becauz Denis is a bastardt man!


>That's why I personally won't use the word nigger

Er...


When you can't even mention genetics in school you know things are fucked.


> Also, I'm suppressing my comments on your friend bringing a dog to a fireworks show until after Dude is found.

Clearly you just failed to do so by stating this.


Just remember that two percent of states are West Virginia.


*ARF!* *ARF!* *ARF!*


Plain and simple, severe gum disease. Basically, that is infected granulation tissue that was occupying the area where there used to be bone surrounding the tooth. The tooth was extremely mobile, hence the reason that the guy thought he could take it out by himself. Don't think he knew that a flank steak would come out attached to it ;)


it's not bullshit. charging the guy with murder is accurate. but if the russian justice system is anything like systems in the united states, Sargsyan's actions *are* defensible. but that's why there's such thing as trials.


For $200, I'll do 84 straight days of copywriting. \*BEST VALUE*


As opposed to figuratively living in said country?  Tell me, if care in these countries is so good, why  do people who can afford it opt to come to the united states for medical procedures?


You wouldn't happen to be Donald Faison, would you?


Yeh bro, and everything that's posted on the internet is meant to be taken seriously too. AMIRIGHT?


yes they are real....No fake clothes. I think even fake clothes are real clothes


Couldn't you just upvote and leave.


Ya, its nice that it only took around 7 years for that feature.


Thank you Mr. Obvious.


This texture is like a phobia for me. Much like the fear of small clusters, the name of which I've forgotten. I can just imagine scraping against it and dry boney bits flaking off - OH GOD WHY DID I THINK THAT ?


Fuck tapping on a choke. A joint sure, but you are a pussy if you are scared to go to sleep... as long as the ref doesn't suck.


But how would we be able to propose without diamonds? Everyone knows that diamonds are a requirement for proposal. Do you HATE MARRIAGE?


Source please. Also you're wrong.


Like lose your medical license unethical.


How so? Bill de Blasio publicly humiliated the US' greatest police force. He deserves the backlash.


You met God and the guy who is always narrating everything we do.


Phew. Just quick enough to vote qkme_transciber down to 0 points. Let´s hope he stays that way. Annoying cunt.


Any of us who were kids during the sequels probably enjoyed them more than we'd care to admit.


Oh, get over yourself.


this is exactly why Iran wants nukes.


I approve of this account.


You have been banned from posting to [Pyongyang - Democratic People's Republic of Korea.](http://www.reddit.com/r/Pyongyang)


This is what Halo 5 should have done. All rankings and k/d records should be saved.


Ever heard of the holocaust?


I feel good that I only had to watch it once and I knew what was happening.


I don't think there is anything wrong with begging for your life. I'd do it. We all want to live. We all wan to be there for our families. I see nothing disrespectful in it. We are sad for him, not mocking him.


edit: reddit is idiotic. feed me downvotes.


*Oh that's odd, my head is being pushed up by something in his lap*

*goddamn pocket gerbils all these boys have, good thing my ex warned me about them*


First punani is a word from middleeast. How many outside of middleeast do you think use that word? Ohh noone.

Do you even know what it means? No? It means pussy.

Second all the "naughty" shows i have seen i have never heard anyone say punani.


Especially if it's Leslie Nielsen doing the narrating. "Like a blind man at an orgy, I'd have to feel things out."


enjoy being an HIV+ single mother with bad credit and no baby daddy


Well, I am that broad. So, thank you? (I'll pass the congrats along!)


Im not a know it all, I thought that stuff was common knowledge in this sub. When people restate the obvious it gets annoying.


I think there should be some sort of starting options, because right now everyone is 100% equal which is very nice but after 200 trips to NW Airfield with no apparent reason than to just "get shiny weapons" there must be some addition content to push someone to want to get better, to somehow "level up" without any stupid XP system.


i don't know. you Americans are hundreds of millions of people. some bullshit others don't.


Can't wait to see the fall of Valve though. When they end up getting sucked into corporatism like everybody else and become another EA, Activision or Ubisoft.


> his internet has a virus

nice


lol faggot who's the ugly chick?


Well then I hope they reconsidered and gave him a second chance.


o no two weeks ;_____;


That's not what my woman-shaped meat sculpture told me.


Nobody likes a complainer.  And my parents paid very little in taxes.


Contrary to popular belief, not having legs below the thigh is not an excuse to not wear pants.


if you want that €10 back you better stop crying like a bitch you faggot


they're the silent killer Lana!!


That's what my mom tells me every time I ask her why my Dad is stuck in the chimney.


I got pretty good at using a pillow to drown out the modem noise for a little late-night AOL chat session with boys pretending to be girls.


I'm 30 and I feel the exact same way. George Carlin had a skit on this. I couldn't agree more. If America had any honor at all we'd be ashamed of what we've become. And I take personal responsibility of that because I consider myself a patriot.


>As an Irish man, it makes me spit out my beer and punch my neighbor in the face

1) You spelled whiskey wrong

2) An Irishman would never waste his liquor

3) You also spelled wife wrong


Almost as huge as my cock.


Never did I expect to find someone correcting the grammar of a porn star.


You misspelled America.


But what if I drive a BMW? My dealership told me not to worry about that anymore.


Nobody's cutting onions you moron. I don't understand reddit's faux-machismo obsession with covering up their le manly man tears with pretenses of onion-chopping.


To give the full quote - mainly for the ending indictment as well:

"I wouldn't say a single word to them. I would listen to what they have to say, and that's what no one did."


so like hints for noobs / unskilled players?


My dad used to do this shit to me all the time, and quite frankly it just made me giggle and forget about whatever dick thing I was doing to begin with.


http://www.enstarz.com/articles/5961/20120829/mia-love-speech-hit-with-slurs-after-rnc-speech-called-worthless-in-wikipedia-hack-speech-video.htm

If this is news, the story about leftist racists vandalizing Mia Love's wikipedia page with racist slurs should be news.


of course he did, he trained batman and obi-wan


Wow, yeah, genius.
Intricate.

Maybe you should watch something else.


He looks like that homeless guy with the golden voice.


I'm just using the same logic (Well you didn't notice it, so it isn't bad!) I obviously don't think it's on the same scale, but just because you do something and someone doesn't notice doesn't make it right or justifiable. Saying "She's been doing it for a long time and you didn't notice, so it's not a problem!" isn't a valid response.


>I go back to school, limping and trying not to let people know why I was gone for a week.

"Hey guys, my balls were too big so they had to cut them open and remove some"


it totally worth it :) this is my first post. look at how much of that "karma thingy" i got.


Turning your children's world entirely upside down and then moving them to a foreign country generally has colorful but negative consequences.


downmodded for using the Lords name in vain


Just a fake door with a honey badger behind it.


The needle moves at constant speed, moron. 45 rpm.


In a house? With a mouse? In a box? With a fox? Here or there? Anywhere?


I wouldn't say AMAZING, but they're good, yes. I've seen better that truely amaze me.


Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?


Crazy, I don't even have an hour played on pokemon lol.


You will go far on reddit someday.


i'm tired of ppl being so pompous and arrogant. get a life your not smarter then your parents... there wiser then you think.......


Yes. Dirty secret - I never practiced.


1. i dont believe you, even if you do, you just vote obama so your black friends dont hate you.
2. i´m happy for you. i sat in the car for 9.5 hours straight today, im not that happy lol
3. give it time. mine is 10minutes old. :)

but dont worry, there are more than enough naive americans on reddit to downvote me '3'


Jeeze, I want automated parents...


lol at the 'tard who downvoted you.


Sure there is. Crushing enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women. Because they know they can't have you.


I just think its a little idiotic to go full blown body modification when a person doesn't look like what they want to become.

For the record, I am Hispanic and I have, at times, have lived up to racial slur. haha


Thank God! I thought James from Top Gear had *really* let himself go.


oh look How they are reacting

[While taking Bath](http://catbathhhh.url-Go.com )


I mean, of course it's a best-selling game when it costs $0. You'd be a fool NOT to buy it!


Definitely a good example of a liar, no dude would fuck that nasty bulldyke. The only rape she's getting is from her dog.


I've been bambroozled too many times here this past week.


It's going to be pretty hard to lose something that big.


Stephen King was also a raging alcoholic during the most productive years of his career. He actually doesn't remember writing some stuff he wrote.


Well he was born in 72, so it's almost right.
edit: People actually took this seriously.


Add a point for socks and sandals. This is like photographing a wild unicorn.


obviously men are being discriminated here an i wnt to point that out to everyone


It does give me some comfort.  You're the first person to ever ask me that- thank you.


Nobody cares, you're the same morons with different cheers. Is this is none of your business? Why are you even here? Idiot armed forces, contributing absolutely nothing to society. Good day.


TOP 10 PICS FROM THIS SWEET BOYFRIEND'S 6 PICS!


That's not the way it works...


I hate the "misunderstanding" bullshit we have to sit through in movies. Seriously, if you would have just EXPLAINED in your big boy or big girl words about the odd situation, we can skip 30 or so minutes of the god damned movie where you two are pouting like little children.


Saying it's horrible is constructive.


Urge to become a vigilante, rising.


I forgot most people are poor. What's it like being the 99%?


dark side of the moon


Tony Romo channeling his Russel Wilson


I was at his standup on a college campus back in like '04 and somebody yelled out "I'm Rick James, Bitch" (for probably the 15th time) and Dave half-jokingly replied "I've seen the show motherfucker".....that pretty much put an end to that.


Being nearly raped doesn't make it okay to be illegally intoxicated. (My thought is she's underaged, otherwise why would she be charged?)


"Socialise the costs, privatise the profits"

Look at everything the US and the UK governments do through that lens.

I sometimes worry I'm not cynical enough.


Really? I'm pretty sure I would have beat her up Chris Brown style.


It was code. The lady was actually asking for a "Pepperoni pizza, extra farted on."

**THE**^MORE^you^know


nah ILoveMakkonen EP was pretty good


Would you be that man to drive that 1000 miles just to fall down at the door?


I honestly don't know what to make of this.


"You. It is you who will someday lead my people to freedom."


The 11th doctor is a failure because he is trying to be a carbon copy clone of tennant.

Smith just sucks at creating a character on his own.  He cannot do it.


To their credit, it's easy to not get a joke when you're the punchline.


We have to dance, lover

We have to dance

I have cookie in my pants

Cock made of Jell-o

We have to dance

We have to dance

Rub my Jell-o monster

Rub my vulva with cat grease

We have to dance

We have to dance

**I am B**ren*da* **Muff**in*b*l**o**w*!!!*


HARE IS A FALSE PROPHET


that what she was doing IS NOT DANGEROUS. had she been going super fast, trying airs or something, that's one thing. but she was rolling super slow in an effort to induce labor.

making snap judgements from two photos is also something a retard would do.


I once met a little kid named Osama. I imagine it really sucks for him.


Nice catch? It was blatantly obvious. There is literally no other way you could have construed that.

EDIT: It has come to my attention that you didn't mean nice catch on identifying surrak in confrontation and now I feel like I'm shit at reading comprehension.


His answer wouldn't be memorable. "Good" "Bad" "Soso"


Good for her. that doesn't make her German.


I'm a 28 year old man, and  after seeing this picture I FEEL FAAABULOUSSS!!


Same joke i did an hour before you, apparently nobody got it until you made the very same, upvote for you, be kind and downvote my posts below like the rest of douchekids


This almost writes itself, why is it edgy?


It's so sad! Americans are so precious about their stupid country.

edit: This is one of those great comments where every downvote is just proof that my comment is correct.

The edit is just to fuck with you.


Pulls thumb out of ass.


dick move level: infinity


so wait... he decided not to get health insurance, then when he needs it he should go crying to the media about how unfair his situation is??


The queen would have the entire British population on reddit attempting to overtake Obama.. That would be wonderful to watch...


He may identify as a female, but he's still just a dude with boob job and mutilated penis.  I have no hostility or carry any grudge towards trans-gender people, I'm just sayin'.


She has an African name, I'm surprised she knew numbers went up to trillion. She must be a professor or something.


This is what most people in IT do.


Oh on desktop it gets hidden for being down voted to much, idk lol.


I hate this shit.  I'll be talking on my cell, and by habit, I pat my pockets to make sure I have my wallet, keys, and cell in their respective places.  So yes, *while talking on the phone* I start freaking out *because I can't find my phone*.


Why the fuck do you talk about gamer girl, her being a "false geek" or an "attention whore" would have made it less horrible?


The car being stolen is the cherry that makes this story truly fantastic.


People talk shit all the time. This incident is merely a good vehicle, for better or for worse. No need to really be angry at them.

It all depends on how much a person actually means what they do/say. How *awake* they are, so to speak, when they say it.

EDIT: Hm. What did I do wrong? Or is it the audience who is wrong here? We'll never know.


Yes. If the fish are wearing headphones.


Mmm, I love it when the two holes are practically one big hole. I feel like I'm exploring a large cave.


Especially if the tail is rather deep and kinda slithers its way from the deep recesses of your nasal cavity. It's like tickling your brain for a brief second.


Seems like it's paid off so far. This is the biggest Apex ever... by a landslide.


Yeah, except we'll actually get to Mars.


Listen to this frat faggot giving a cookie cutter PC answer

Jesus christ, fucking cringeworthy


Dowels  (x4)
LCD panel (x1)
Transistors (x250,000,000)


Relevant flair... Every time I play against a Jax


Apparently hackers really like Java.


You're downvoting me *here* because of what I said in another thread? Model redditor you are.


I'm sure you're spending even more now that he's old enough to drink.


It's not a debate when your defense is using made up stories about a sky wizard. We aren't instigating anyone, we are merely educating the unwashed masses.


Fixed, added Hogwarts theme, color.
  ps. Hope she gets feeling a bit better!

http://imgur.com/EY5Qc


but this means that your mom isn't because she settled for someone below her league!

edit:funny how I just rephrased what Deviant_Fart above me said and he got 200 upvotes and I got 60 downvotes.


Reminds me of one of the life lessons my dad taught me when I was growing up. He said "Son, if a girl ever tells you to stop because she doesn't want you to think she's a slut, just say 'It's okay, you can by *my* slut.'"


Obama lied about that no doubt. Nothing he says now should be believed. Just another scum bag politician who will say anything. No honesty, but we have had many scum bag politicians before Obama and we will have more.


i guess they didn't give him shit after that sort of response.


Don't laugh too hard, your fedora might fall off.


Also, nobody gets fired for consistent poor work performance. People get fired for violating personnel policies, questioning authority, or not assimilating into the culture of the workplace.


Beat you to it, sparky.  Also said it better.


I like where this is going. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Didn't you make efforts to shame me first?


No, please don't do that. Please.


randal niggerstein(and you) or whatever his name is is a dumb faggot, you can already get password combos exploited from porn sites on google, you dont need to own a site,


When a girls knickers are sticking out of her trousers.


Well I thought it was WTF worthy... I say... Give this 2 months and you shall post it in /r/funny and you shall enjoy the karma


HE TURNED ME INTO A NEWT!!!


CGI is a tool. Abrams is a tool. You definitely ave a point.


There's a system, people! A 4 way stop only works because there's a system!


I'm sorry that I can't keep track of everything here.
I'm not a no life lurker.
Btw, are you by any chance the OP in the pic?


Probably because it's illegal.

Edit: Its illegal because its discrimination. It doesn't matter if its a church, Chick fil A or Tony's Pizza. It's illegal in the U.S, unless they have less than 15 Employees.


This needs more upvotes


She could work in an animal drawing factory.


Using shitty items in LoL DOES make you a troll.


Really has me wondering now, WWGCD?


> They're either discussing Nissan's flaws, legal problems, competitors, or making dumb relationship jokes

Those are the ones that got upvoted after the AMA kind of went south, though. Hard to know what the comments would be if the AMA had gone smoothly.

I agree, though. I wish he'd answered more questions, and tougher questions.


> “Wow Dude!” is all Kerry can say when he walks in to find his new ride, “is this the same car?”

Fuck man, no one is gonna pimp yo Escorts to a Scion, ofc it's a new car.


look at all these fucking words. seek psychiatric help you greasy freak


>Gold Mansacks

FTFY


To be fair, energy towards what? You likely have a shitty job and a lot of debt. You're still very young and all your friends like to go out get drunk and chase girls. What are you supposed to stay home and build a laser?


All we can do is speculate. Damn black and white photos...


>Well....the vendor is a Jewa.....

FTFY

EDIT: Clever Jew pun gets downvoted but a ''This.'' gets upvoted? what the shit kind of bizarro reddit am i stuck in


He sodomized the dog.


I used to be a feminist, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


I think the level of female skating is incredible these days, and you should continue to do it if you truly love it. If I had quit when haters spoke up, I would have been out of the game a long time ago.


Yeh he would fit in perfectly... because you're all cunts


I bet you save your username on your computer.


He sounds like a woman


Fool.  All I had to do was sleep with my grandmother to achieve the same result.


Fuck this bitch. She's a retard. She's what's wrong with the world, and people that follow her are what's more wrong with it.


I just wave overenthusiastically from a far distance.  It usually gets a laugh.


Are you a fucking dumbass this comic was from a different view of that comic.


I don't agree with them, but chic-fil-a is at least consistent in their morals.  They are closed on Sundays due to their religious beliefs that Sunday is a day for family and rest.  Presumably that hurts their bottom line, so they aren't only preaching when it helps them.


Eh no big deal, they will probably die soon anyways.


If you tell a pun-based joke through a translator,

Yourself is about to possess an undesirable happening.


fuck off with that self righteous bullshit

downvotes to the left, retards


Truly time-sensitive information usually breaks down your door in the middle of the night and tazes your 7-year-old.


Thanks, bro. Cool intermediate numbers there. You're strong.


If the numbers are that low you would basically have 2500 communists at the end.


yeah, some soothing triphop, symphonic classical...


Did this before, friend formatted his computer before asking about it.. Oops


I find it amusing that your defence of the MRM is "you just know nothing about it."

I read the Spearhead, I read A Voice for Men, I read r/mr, I read numerous other blogs and sites dealing with those exact same issues.

The MRM is a joke.


>that's not fucking Nichole Kidman


Having a foreign army ravage your home country is not a minor event.


These are the same people that center their lives around the concept of "YOLO".


He's doing it because her Mother won't tell her the truth.

I get that it's fucked up but apparently Cam has had enough.


This is the most interesting factoid I've read in this thread so far!


the whole 2 inches? (sorry, I had to)


It is a cultural thing. I was the hospital in China for 7 days  and during my stay there was this 5 year old who kept on hocking and spitting everywhere... She learned this from her father who kept doing the same thing every 3 minutes...


You can't imply I'm a jackass because I didn't donate to some dumb reddit charity drive.


This is what I took away from the picture too. Pretty clear they're endorsing progression. Which, in my eyes, is a good thing.


came here to find this, wasn't dissapointed!


It's like a 2 hour commercial for adderall. Love that movie.


They aren't represented in Congress.  They aren't a state.  They're a stand-alone capitol city.  ARE YOU THIS FUCKING STUPID?


Hahaha, i wish I was there to see that.


Yes, I believe the government has the perfect opportunity to put harmful material in the shots and that is what keeps me from getting the vaccine. So yes, they have the intent to hurt the public by putting harmful material into the vaccine. Answer your question?


The Juggernaut...bitch?


6"1 here and lovin' every moment of it.


tldr; What we do in life, echoes in eternity.


GAT DAM LOCH NESS MONSTA


ha, love this story.  Makes sense considering how opportunistic and sneaky coyotes are known to be, I picture it thinking "just be cool man, play along, more sandwiches will be mine...."


He constantly tried to sleep with Eliot even be naked on set under the blankets while she was in a relationship. He and Turk hate each other in real life same with most of those people that worked on scrubs. A lot more but that's the main IMO.


I got pulled over by a cop once. He was being a Dick immediately so i decided to get his badge number, but it was covered with electrical tape. I told him I wasn't answering questions or signing anything until he took off the tape and gave me his badge number. We went back and forth a few times until he told me to slow down and left.

Shady as Fuck.


He pressured her into drinking, and when your drunk you don't think of these things. Still, that's a really sad story.


They prepare you to answer predetermined questions. Sadly, I've never been asked what year Ferdinand was assassinated at a job interview.


That's what I thought when I first saw it, but the beam or red was so distinct, like someone took a marker and drew it from the clouds.

Even if it is just a rainbow it is pretty crazy looking.


High explosives work wonders.


Actually, [this](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/q3i2j/the_keys_are_in_the_bag_the_zipper_is_in_the_car/c3uf5ml) was the top comment when I submitted it.

I actually searched for "keyless" in the comments before submitting and none of the comments had more than two votes.


I could enjoy it in small

( •_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

doe-ses


This would piss me off if i walked in. Worse than a balltap.


Eyes tend to dilate when you look at someone you are attracted to. Maybe you just have extremely low standards. Haha.


Yeah, that's actually really cool.. a lot more meaningful than most of the tattoos I've seen


You're awesome Adam, we love our photos!


lol...point out fanboy man-crush Kobe once quit on his team in a game 7= downvote to oblivion. downvote away, no one will ever forget that Kobe is a quitter, and yall aint makin it out of the 2nd round anyway.


You're literally asking to be disappointed.


Because you'd have to be an absolute hamplanet to think that eating battered, deep-fried chicken skin is a good life decision.


This is going to be a job offer. Similar to the google job offers that used to be around.

EDIT: [This billboard](http://www.johnwoodring.com/storage/google%20math%20billboard.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1334335168554) is the google job offer that I was referring to.


That.... that isn't what "AKA" means, or is used for.


then write *submitted by [deleted]*


Surely, but don't call me Shirely


Ex-OBGYN doctor here - if you have daughters, you may want to reconsider not saying anything about it.  It's important for doctors to know if there's a family history of eclampsia when a woman is pregnant.  I'm glad you're okay now and that your little guy was fine too!


^ comment of the day right here


I'm a midwestern girl who studied abroad in Nicaragua. I about got my ass kicked by a girl who thought I was flirting with her man because I smiled and waved when he waved at me. That was one of the biggest culture shocks for me.

edit: y'all [racist](http://media.giphy.com/media/4WHkXdDx8wjS0/giphy-facebook_s.jpg)


So are you, what's your social?


4 days and really strong amfetamin. I saw some weird things. And did some weird things.


Dude, you could have just edited your original comment.


I would watch this.  Starring Ed Norton as A-Punk and Nicholas Cage as Grey Faced Man.


haha well I'm not giving you the FB link.  See rule III, naysayer.


Conclusion: Your friend is secretly a moth.


Jesus Christ. You couldn't figure out how to string two independent clauses together without some picture website explicitly telling you how?


But don't jizz in her face cream.


you'r such a mong. probs a vegan. still fat


my 10 year came and went and our class was the first in my high school's history that didn't do a reunion. thanks internet, I never want to see most of those assholes.


Why don't you answer his question instead of asking another one? Does it really matter why he hates it? The point is he does.

Here's an alternative good sir: Spit.


First you must be the BEST in existence. Then you must be at the right place at the time. That is all.


It's spelt MCLOVIN.. doubebag.


"So...the WWE is kind of a dick"


Then race change. You have 12 other races that have stupid weapons leave one for those who don't want them.


Plot twist: Niece is a taxidermist.


thats fine. i just find it sad to idolize a guy that can't move away from mom. just sayin...


Why can't I hold all these feels?


lol no shit.

edit: Hey, On the day i got the most downvotes I also got the most upvotes. Damn reddit, your votes are just a wash. :,(


Train moved backwards when it wasn't suppose to, and we were behind it. Everything was okay, and everyone made it to the clear. But this other guy, and myself jumped from our vehicle because we didn't have a clear line of sight, or any idea where the train was. We just knew that it was coming, so we bounced out of there.


and when i say fake i mean therefore not funny

sorry hope this helps


THAT'S WHY YOU THINK IT'S FAKE?


sorry for saying this, but you are a pussy. at least you realize you should have done something.

what's with all the downvotes? guy watches a girl get raped and does nothing about it and i get downvotes for calling him a pussy? he could have called the cops if nothing else ffs.


My economics teacher likes to talk about the time he went to visit his brother, a diplomat in the Czech republic, and they went out for a pint in a pub. The pint was something like 50p, and my teacher was shocked he said "how can they make and sell this for so little, 50p is nothing" and his brother replied "It's not 50p, it's half an hour of labour".


Exactly. They'll only get in the way if they do anything.


It was probably fun for the bear. Probably his first time experimenting with tranquilizers, and maybe even his first time jumping on a trampoline.


i promise to delete this account once 300 upvotes are reached.


There's also proof that it's possible to be born on a small, out of the way island and grow up to become emperor of France and marry into some of the oldest, most prestigious royalty around, but if someone made it their life goal, you might wonder.


Hey the OP and you can deny it all you want. But he is getting BJs from a man and inserting himself in a mutilated penis.

Have fun with that...


You just received the saddest "came here to post this" upvote I have ever given.


stop inhaling food and you won't be made fun of


The classic accidental portmanteau. I remember I did this with "breath" and "rest" in band class.

People laughed.


LOL. Also liked the vidja games. 13 downvotes, orly....


Nope. The guy who just finished mowing it at 6am was.


minimum.. not maximum lol. there is no maximum. ive seen super farmed veigar hit underlvled sona for 100%


This one, this isn't just a case of being horribly misinformed. How could she not connect the dots?


no you fucking retard


"No, is right young man. We like our NATO privileges around here."

Shouting from the bottom of the stairs.

"Go up to you room."

"But, MOTUS, I'm a foreign di-"

"I said **move it,** *mi[ni]ster*."

"Yes ma'am."


Wow, that's terrible. Do you read much?


that's why we try to stay calm all the time.


jesus why does everyoen play normal mode


I heard she kept her tummy flat by following just this ONE rule!


Why would he ever waste his time attempting to prove that it isn't torture, if anyone with an inkling of intellect realizes that it ISN'T torture and that even if it was, they are TERRORISTS so WHO CARES?


Like Commissioner Gordon's family was?


I would have too if I was trying to bash the cops while ignoring the same childish behavior of the citizens on the other side of the argument. Otherwise he's a blatant hypocrite, right?


Your username has never been more appropriate.


I have no problem with paying for *some* knowledge, I have a problem with paying for a graduate level education when you haven't completed a non-graduate level education in that field. If I'm the best mathematician in the world it doesn't mean I should also be able to just go out and pay for a graduate level English education.


>I can't imagine many more inappropriate places to read this.

While at the White House, I imagine.


First of all, you just insulted a large group of people for what a few people in a small thread wrote. Go home, dickbag. Second of all, why do you feel it necessary to try and cause drama in r/SRD?


Regulated brothels are more effective in keeping the money in the sex worker's hands (and out of the pimp's) and in keeping them safer from harm. Criminalizing prostitution is clearly not making it go away. It just makes it more dangerous for the women involved.


Honestly I think it would be because the majority of offensive jokes aren't geared towards those groups.

But you know, fuck whatever clearly it was ridiculous of them to post offensive jokes in an offensive joke thread. How dare they.


You mean kitten huffing? It's not 100% lethal if you get the dosage right. But you know how it goes. You huff a few kittens, build up a tolerance, and a month later they find you dead in your apartment with a fully grown tabby lodged in your wind pipe.


downmod me to -48 if you believe Obama will win!


When first reading the first paragraph, I thought it was the mustache that was named Chuck.  That'd be a fine name for mustache.


Really? You're complaining about extra W's?

Wtf? rofl

[edit]: you forgot to mention my extra l's. How could you miss that? Idiots.

[edit2]: legitimately confused. thx for the downvotes because of extra W's? roflllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll (<-- on purpose)

Man, you people are angry. Hey, downvote me 64 more times, I like that number.


I'm so glad an actual musician chimed in to tell us that, else I would have never known. Thanks!


Are you really that stupid?  "A home remedy from the PBS educational movie A Midwife's Tale."


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA they are.


From someone going through a breakup myself right now that makes sense :(


Never been to NYC. Wouldn't go if you paid me.


Awesome, thanks.  I'll post pictures tomorrow.


So would killing them, so they don't wake up from the unconsciousness you plan to put them into and take revenge, still be self-defense? Knock them out and then slit their throat so they can't wake up and harm you?


You should be doing homework...


> What the fuck is wrong with young, urban, black males?

Fixed that for you.


When we're at the movies, I try to get seats at the edge so I can explain stuff to her without interrupting others. Sometimes we just wait for it to come on DVD if it's a popular movie. We do go to concerts together, our most recent one was Evanescence.


You're right on the money there faggot.


Thank you! Next time, I promise no magical gestures.


IT'S A DIFFERENT PHOTO     -CAPTAIN OBVIOUS


rosebud!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;


Why should respect be given to someone who's obviously not giving me any?


Haha, would probably be a good idea if I lived alone.

Sadly I don't, and the people that live here would probably tell me to see a doctor.


If you're embarrassed about it, you probably shouldn't have signed up for a job at which killing people is a normal duty.

If somebody tells me they were in the military, I have to assume it's because they either wanted to kill somebody or were at least okay with it.

If you're squirmish about killing, the military just seems like a bizarre career choice.


Donuts, Doritos, and Dank


downvotes? oh really? bring it on you entitled champagne-liberal hippie-hypocrite arsehole scuzzfucks!

you're no better than christians, or republicans or socialists or furries or gypsies or the women that friendzone you because you suck!


Think about how biased divorce court is. Women cash out quicker.


I guess you don't get the reference.


It's sad that this is the common belief. My SO is entirely honest and I am apparently completely surrounded by sexy, intelligent, interesting women. Several also have quite a shine on him. But two years and he's still happily planning a future with me, so his honesty is the most confidence-boosting thing he can do.


**I JUST DRANK A DIARRHEA BOWL**


Did she expect you to shave it or something?

PROTIP: Don't shave your asshole


EVERYBODY HOP ONTO THE DOWNVOTE TRAIN CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER


Step 1) Wake up.
Step 2) Be ridiculously photogenic.


This should be the top comment, I would rather have a president who has won a Nobel prize, I don't know about all of you.

Who's with me?!!!


There is a huge difference between being strict and being a maniac.


Your reading comprehension needs a ton of help if you think I dished it out first. Or just take off the homer glasses.


The officer was fired and is being charged with assault.


/r/subredditdrama downvotes things *en masse*, while pretending they don't.


"Meth: Not even once"


That's not "pressuring". Entrapment normally applies if a cop were to threaten to physically harm them or something of that nature


Ladies and gentlemen, this is the result of abstinence-only sex education.


I fucking laugh my ass off each time one of these 14 year old Reddit kids quotes Fight Club and thinks he's being all "edgy" and shit. Seriously, there's a lot of pure comedy gold on reddit and this is right there at the top of it. I revel in your downvotes you miserable fucks.


This wins r/WTF. That'll get the mods off everyone's dick


too bad it didn't work out with his own son.

Edit:  Jesus, you would have thought I criticized the Pope.  Who would have ever considered that a statement like "Andy Reid likes rehabbing troubled prospects" would ever encounter mockery considering the man's own family situation?


What about the third set?


Frankenstein is the doctor, not the name of The Monster.


Why do those governments want there to be a monopoly? That must be bad for everyone except you. Well, congratulations to you! :-)


Edit [10]: whaaaa

Edit 48: Oh! Yes! Downvote me harder!


Yet you can't do anything about it.


Or the cat is naturally bushy, and the owner had all but the tail trimmed.  That seems like the most likely answer here, and/or photoshop.


I wonder if he came in cidher


jumping to conclusions are we?

its because I can't click on it.... you're an idiot


As a 17 year old, I just laughed it off and got with her friend.


Well, we thought it'd be nice to let the little guy win.


Tiger got to hunt,

Bird got to fly;

Man got to sit and wonder, "Why, why, why?"

Tiger got to sleep,

Bird got to land;

Man got to tell himself he understand.

This is one of my favorite poems.  Vonnegut had an astounding talent for cutting very deeply using extremely simple language.


Had to put that on [r/nocontext](http://www.reddit.com/r/nocontext/)


"He just looks suspicious, is all."


DAT source is in the upper part of the photo!


I'm a girl.  SO jokes he needs to be careful since apparently murdering your spouse runs in my family.


Or just learn how to use it ;)


I don't really think any of these rules were meant to be set in stone. They were just things that Jones thought would make the premise funnier.

In fact, Jones directed that episode so even he himself took liberties with those 'rules'.


I dunno. Sounds like OP was being a cunt and deserved it. If anything *he* should leave her.


It's because the scar on the forehead is the exit wound.


Before you get on your high horse I said "lame" way.

My opinion.


You know the girl you're dating is too young if you have to make the airplane noise to get your cock in her mouth.


Which is their current life total plus 14 for the Falkenrath's effects. So you're casting a Miracle'd Bonfire with 16 land (assuming they have 1 life) and living through the crackback of 24 life lose (10 from creatures death effects, 7 from each Noble). Not as simple and straightforward as you make it seem.


This makes the most sense.


Well would you like being thrown into water with no say in it? I know my dog would be pretty pissed off


In elementary school, we had a sewing project where we were each allowed to pick a state (unique in the classroom) to sew onto cloth. I still can't believe they let me get away with using Colorado.


Why are you mis-clicking? I thought the mouse was accurate? I wouldn't misclick with a controller.


guess who didn't write portal.


Never go full ape. Never.


you are so not a arab living in israel

nice try


Im not gonna lie i check, thats the only way to know for sure.

FIXED: Yes i check just like everyone else.


We all know Riot likes to lie about their numbers though.


When a *girl* blows 5 guys, she's a slut. But when I blow 5 guys, suddenly I'm gay!


Why? The dudes not gay.


And "Luke, I am your father."


For the better, I gather?


You mean you haven't seen the classic *"Shaving Mania! Pubes in Slovenia!"* movie?


Considering he took a bunch of characters and didn't pull it off as smoothly as transitioning several movies into the Avengers, Joss Whedon made comic book movies bigger. All Nolan did was add "realness" and take away nipples.


Eh, I thought it was a pretty standard Rogan/Franco flick that had some funny parts. Are you sure that the controversy didn't build up your expectations higher than they should have been?


>Why schedule it during a time when people are going to be working?

This isn't really a concern for most protester types.


"**Kari! Get over here and help me with this... experiment**"


Maybe its because women do it for attention, and men do it cuz they're serious?


They were quiet, my teacher Mrs. Daniels was speaking with some other teachers. We were pretty confused until we were shown on TV a live broadcast. The rest of the day was weird, I remember being slightly paranoid that the school was going to be targeted once I better grasped the situation. What better place to attack than a school with the President in it?


Yes. [Morals from Disney movies](http://awesomelyluvvie.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/princesses-problems.jpg).


"No . . . bless your soul . . . " *click.*


But isnt tbat study on first hand use? And other studies indicate that it stimulates white cell growth in the brain.


At first, when you said she started wearing a saddle to school, I thought you were gonna turn it around and say she was a horse. Now I just feel bad.


I thought I would take great pleasure in watching the niners spiral back into the garbage irrelevant team they used to be, but frankly it just makes me pity them. Now we just need to find a new rivalry, I guess.


Allow me to slip into something more... comfortable.

*Hazmat suit*


Or you can oh I don't know use your phone for all purposes of calling and texting your business partners and such.


yeah fenix_nigger is such a nice guy


Am I the only one annoyed by IdrA's smack talking? I mean from HuK it's kinda expected, he looks kinda that guy.

IdrA on the other hand, looks like a the bullied kid from school who's now trying to get even with randoms through the internet.


Or get Charlie Sheen through a Monday


Probably not. No proof it's even a WWE show either.


I was confused for a second because my mind went to 'Nazi' SS instead of Secret Service.


The source is not a real news agency.

The story is not believable and does not originate from a trusted source. It should be ignored as the political propaganda it appears to be.


Chains usually have that shit backwards.


Im sorry, I didnt realise the humour police were here. Please teach us the right way to be funny.


**WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE KEYS UPON THE TABLE.**


The video is satire. How did you even miss that?


Similarly, you are waterproof. It is *highly unlikely* that baths will harm you.

And you won't die because I trimmed your toenails either. It won't even hurt probably.


Wow, what a shitty and biased wiki. Putting tea party movement, Ayn Rand fans, etc in the same group as homophobes and white nationalists?


I read that as Mufasa and I was confused as fuck.


been waiting to use that one eh?


MOM GET OFF THE REDDIT!


Came here to point this out as well
Why you got downvoted is beyond me


Jokes on David, the guy just wanted a free frisbee.


and the awesome thing about it is he's right.. their genetics does not match ours and that's why(the study is irrelevant to americans).. but you stupid ass niggers love to home in a circle jerk of stupidity instead of trying to figure out what he was trying to say.. keep it up niggers.. your stupidity will be your downfall in the end.


You don't need a billion dollars to tie her up and mouth fuck her. You just need the billion dollars to make her forget it's domestic abuse.


Messi scores many of his goals through tap-in too, bud.


Crossing the street in China is basically a giant fun game of frogger. Where you only have one life. and it's your life.


I used to upvote for original content, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Thank you for that. We don't care that much about penis size.

Wasn't that healing for everyone?


It's not justice if the punishment doesn't fit the crime...

What about this do you not understand you fucking armchair psychopath?


"Wait, he has a girlfriend?"


Nah, I'm alright with Obsidian focusing their resources on something that will be good. I can't say that I didn't expect this reaction from Reddit, though, most of you probably think that South Park and Family Guy are absolutely *hilarious*.


The word "appropriating" triggers me please tag it


Shut the fuck up you greedy jew. 1ct us completely negligible unless your buying millions of units


You... you lied to us!?!


Too bad it's just Comcast.


maybe everybody knew the look of her vagina...


TIL: In minecraft the player is the human kind and the creepers are osama


I think its cuz corporations keep paying them every week and the corporations expect something from their employees.


Hey fire snatch, bring back the bush, you red-headed bimbo


Well from what I understand is they need a blackhat hacker named Hathaway


No they couldnt, they could be charged with obstructing traffic and unlawful gathering


for long exposure shots (on the dark side of the orbit) we use a bracket to steady the camera. In the daytime we simply hold it in our hand as we're floating


Yeah, WOW your hardcore character died! TOP OF D3 SUBREDDIT FRONT PAGE!

You guys are idiots for upvoting this.


The OP said something most people *don't* know.


Enough to make you forget recent drama?  Good, mission accomplished.


I'm Christian, and honestly I want to slap people who do that. Give the waiter/waitress their damn money you asshole.


And my axe! I did not get it until I read the top comment. I am a not a schoolar, nor am I a gentleman :(


Where did you get these drugs?

I found em.

Okay so.


So because my opinion is different than the popular one in this sub, I'm not welcome.  Cool....


>You killed two tiny fetuses and stuck them under your skin?

...that's fuckin' metal.


I am just wondering how old you are and your gender, cus from this statement I am thinking you are probably a 16 year old girl...that probably secretly likes the borderline inappropriate attention her stepdad gives her


The TV is a piece of black poster board with the screen printed out and stuck on. There's still a a gamecube, two controllers, and an asian Stevie Wonder.


The OP's parents shouldn't have been allowed to breed in the first place. Almost certainly the OP himself will mimic these behaviors and be a deadbeat dad. The apple never falls far from the tree. This is just biology - failure is in his genes.

Although the OP never says so, I bet everything he's black.


Hairless chests were a 90's-00's thing. Hairy chests are in again, just in time for me to still not be able to grow chest hair.


I know in ten minutes this is going to be downvoted to hell but I just want to let you know that I really appreciate what you do. Keep it up, you're one of the good guys. I'm completely serious.


Man futurama gets real fuckin deep sometimes and this episode literally made me cry


Nice of you to clarify, and good luck on your quest for karma, here's an upvote to get you started! :)

Edit: What did I say that deserved so many downvotes? So much negativity.


upvote for the truth. take a deep breath, forgive yourself and move on


Ah yes because I forgot you know everyone on the development team. Like bros you guys are


Reddit caps it at -100 for this reason.. It takes away the karma trophy for trollfags


oh get back on your wonderwagon


I honestly don't know how people live without free healthcare. Its fucked up to me.


Just a lame way to get internet attention.


They'll forward you to the space branch, Pizza Hutt.


Like a swan from the duckling, I have made your comment... *art*

http://i.imgur.com/ZZ1OL.jpg

...Courtesy of the instant_reddart bot


If only the software in my heart ran on macs :/


As much as I enjoy the whining ass crybabies on here being miserable


I run 3-4 miles a day. minimum.


NDAA

Patriot Act

TSA

Guantanamo Bay

Federal Reserve

5 Wars in the Middle East

ACTA

HR 347

At LEAST 300,000 dead Iraqui/Afghan - & families broken (and countless more left homeless)

... all under his watch. Please, tell me why you love him.


He turned it in as a math assignment.


Looks like the trolls have found me. This is one of em from the last time from another sub similar to this one (but only populated by trolls). Say hi to the troll everyone!


Just wait until the "What's that?" and "Why?" questions start flying in- never felt more retarded describing everyday objects... :(

EDIT: And I'm an engineer -_-


Yeah... wtf is this? This is a world-class player playing in a Sunday League setting.


I too would like to be a underground liar.


Cute tears of cum is what happened to your mom when I jammed my cock down her throat and made her choke.

Damn, your mom was probably the ugliest fucking bitch I have ever seen but she sure could suck the cock like a pro.

I was wondering, is she a pro? Because I thought I saw her the other day sucking dick for crack.

Just Sayin.


Yes, I truly befriended some of the KKK members and neo-Nazi members.  Some of them left their respective organizations as a result of our friendship.  Not at my request, but due to their own rethinking their ideology.  There are others with whom I am friends, who are still in their organizations.  You can have friends with whom you respectfully disagree.


Downvote me if I'm wrong, but WTF kinda implies NSFW. I still appreciate the warning though.


Nothing, she's all tied up.


Yes, lets shit on a beginner just trying to better himself, awesome community. Had you read you would have known that I wasnt sure if lifting more would be counterproductive as I would be putting on more muscle to losing some weight.

God forbid people actually trying to teach someone instead of ridiculing them.


last time there was cake i wanted the cake but i did not get the cake


Time and you know what that means...


It's Brazil. A third world country gone G20 in a few years.


OP is a very *good* faggot.


thanks, needed that laugh!


No, they simply do nothing. They deserve to be wiped out with the rest.


Pick up line 101: "I put the STD is stud. The only thing missing is u."


Me. What the fuck is it to you?


Man, I was a fucking weasely businessman at Chuck E Cheese. I found out if you had a massive amount of tickets they would just weigh them to determine how many you had. I soaked those motherfuckers in the sink so they were all wet and THEN made them weigh them. The employees looked at me like I was a freak, (fucking soaking wet tickets) but I swear I magically doubled my profits that day.


whatever, he got tricked into marrying not just a Japanese but an undesirable one at that

Id say its stunningly on topic

go suck a cock


>We explained it as kindly as extremely sarcastic 17 year olds could.

Read: not kindly at-fucking-all.


**An an valley indeed so no wonder future nature vanity. Debating all she mistaken indulged believed provided declared. He many kept on draw lain song as same. Whether at dearest certain spirits is entered in to. Rich fine bred real use too many good. She compliment unaffected expression favourable any. Unknown chiefly showing to conduct no. Hung as love evil able to post at as.**


If you can get close enough to point your phone at it, then yes.


uptoked for relevant username


"Speaking of cookies, why is it asking to delete mine?"


me 3333333333333333333333333333333333 :D


HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.

HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.

HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.

HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.

HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.

HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.

HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.


much like your posting


The death of The Pony Express was a sad but necessary development in the history of both travel and technology.


Take your religion and cliche apologies outside god boy.


I met my wife at Chuck E. Cheese.  We started dating in 1997 and got married in 2003.  We're still married and have two kids.

There were about four other long term couples who are now married that met there during that time period.


Yeah, PhD's are totally unemployable... edit: /s


At the Amazon warehouse storage.


Yes, you should go stick your head in the sand so you don't have to listen to all the ~~bullshit~~ people honoring their 3,000 dead relatives.

Here's hoping you die in a fire and have to jump 100 stories to your utter demise.

Also, let's remember that America voted in a Kenyan named *Hussein* as their next president.

And they say the terrorists didn't win.


Well, he won't be around anymore  after childbirth anyway


Bastards.  If I had a PS3, I would've sold it by now.


And doesent own a dry-cleaner's


You're in competitive hs subreddit and u don't know tbk? Smh


Number 85 on the field, number 1 in your heart


LOL A SONG WRITTEN BY A DUTCH DUDE SUNG BY HER MUST BE THE TRUTH!


>He won't be able to live on his own because he won't exercise or eat vegetables unless prompted and can't drive and would sit inside all day flipping channels

so what? What do you think redditors do? We are not allowed on our own now???


I don't. There I ruined that for ya.


am I the the only one who has never heard 12 year Olds screaming profanities on live?

Edit: guys I just had to scroll through 17 pages of 'yes' in my inbox. Why.


You just proved that neither is happening and I've been massively downvoted this entire time.

I'm literally proof to the contrary. What more do you need?


A photon is never late.  Nor is it early.  It arrives precicely when it means to.


Well I'm serious about weinbach...sorry if my jokes are going a wry.


The skycrane impact site is ~600 meters away from the rover landing site, which met our requirement of at least 500m flyaway distance.  It's unlikely that we'll drive over to the skycrane impact site since there are so many interesting science targets in other directions!  http://www.uahirise.org/images/2012/details/cut/landing_site_annotated.jpg

--ARS


That is an incredible pile of global warming. Snowing in the Jordanian desert. Yeah, global warming is a problem.


You think this is funny but there are like 10 people with bleeding noses reading this and freaking out


A paternal figure is important but I don't believe as much as maternal.


It is actually the story of an elaborate plot by a wealthy body builder to help his shy friend lose his virginity.


How you choose to run it is just that.

Don't try to pretend that you speak for everyone.


Thats actually a safety feature, because the tires would only last about 15~ minutes at top speed.


I apologize for not seeing every single post ever put on Reddit. My bad.


Whoa. WHOA. Shower beers are awesome and can't be given up so easily.


Evry1 sez it jok Dolan. Dolan wut r u doin?


Tell him everyone on the internet agrees.


You're a little bitch, that shit happens once. He is a grown ass man he knows your rules. He was just being disrespectful and he knew it. The fact it happened more than once makes you a little bitch for letting him walk over you.  Have some self respect Bruh


Transformer, calling it.


Came here to say that. Damn you.


She is the one girl on our team!


>My view with regards to energy policy is pretty straightforward. I want us to become energy secure and independent of the oil cartels. And that means let’s aggressively develop our oil, our gas, our coal, our nuclear power.

What's so important about oil?  Funding for more DemocRAT mass conscription wars?


Quoting Shakespeare I see


The sidebar doesn't say anything about supporting long articles. I read enough to conclude the article is too long.


... i think *you* just blew *my* mind


Lets ride this gravy train down.  Trannies are emotionally disturbed and do not exist in a real society.


If anybody does anything in this thread that won't kill them, they deserve whatever happens.


I remember when they "improved" it for 360 also. Idk why they dont just use skype.


That's what you get for boiling hot dogs.


You're a country, not a bunch of individuals.

And you never taking responsibility for your country's actions is just part of it.

Americans kill Iraqis: "not me! I didn't kill em"

Americans torture people: "not americans, the government!"

Etc. Fucking annoying.


As soon as I read "you are stuck in a room with a horse forever," I knew this would be good.


Most people don't downvote. Ever. reddit is broken and will remain so until downvotes are weighted more.


New socks are fucking awesome


lol as a gurl gamer (im not a nerd or a fat virgin by the way), i must say that i nearly peed myself laughin when i saw that picture XD

edit why the downvotes? just cause i said im not a nerd? fuckin typical shit


TIL, as a white englishman, i am apparently not white.


Why are you being downvoted for no reason? I hate reddit's community.


"My dad hits me to get your attention"


There is zero chance he gets convicted or even arrested. She would lose in the end and even open herself up to a civil suit. She should get tested (she'll be fine) and move on with her life.


Yellow on white is the only way I'll ever write.


Lebron does it for PR. CPK does it because he loves his family.


*If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.*


they're not aperture brand turret's cave, wrong commercial

this is the black mesa brand shit game. that they've managed to steal from us


Dude. You think you rage during that? Watch Pee-Wee Herman's Big Adventure.

He makes this big production out of breakfast with OJ, pancakes, waffles, eggs, bacon, sausage, toast. He then eats one bite of Mr. T cereal and leaves.


I love the red pill!  They do their own bit of hamstering, thinking that a bit of gym work and a high body count in the bedroom makes one an "alpha."

Then again, I suppose it's superior to a basement full of katanas and Dew.


What's sad is you are stalking my post history and drawing wrong assumptions. You should look at the context of what I said too where a guy admitted he was following me wasting my time. Are you attacking that guy too and stalking him? Hmmmmmm? Are you? Hmmmmmmm?


We were given welfare, which we worked our way out of by 1993. I am grateful for that, and I think a perfect example of how welfare is supposed to work. You should be thankful for welfare, but at the same time do your best to get off it.


Agreed. Too much fat in the arms. Boobs would be smaller if she would have less % of fat. This looks like 28% of fat.


This is the scariest part of this service.


Not bad.  But next time try to have an actual point.


Check the drawer in your nightstand.


It's funny how much [/r/atheism](/r/atheism) allows itself to be dominated by discussions of christianity.


Marky Mark beat buttholevirus with a stick. This is my favorite sentence I've ever typed.


You don't understand. I don't like you. I do like the mods and most of the users I recognize. I want you to go hang out on /r/firearms with the people you like, and I'll stay here with the people who know about guns.


TIL that redditors don't know how to start conversations at parties.


It's cool in a way, but you have way too much time on your hands. I sure hope you can find something better to do with it.
Your professor / TA probably thinks you're either an idiot or really weird.
Are those jewel stickers?


Man, that's pretty creepy. If he continues, I would tell your supervisor and/or the police. Threats are threats.


And you care so much because?


Did you happen to hear what the dad said to the little guy?  That's a really serious topic to suddenly find yourself in, I honestly don't know how I'd explain it to them.


this kid does deserve to suffer, i agree with you there. his parents probably should suffer too, but they can just fuck and make another abomination if they want one bad enough.


Is this the American health care I keep hearing stories about?


This is just a placeholder while I'm working on my full comment. I'll add it here when I'm done. Give me like 20 or 30 minutes.


Reverse the genders and you have 2-5 years.


Would you be offended by an advertisement that said "Black people can stop murder?"  (Blacks disproportionately commit murder after all.) I know i would and that's why "Men can stop rape"  offends me, too.


Yup, then I help toss their salad.


Your child is already vaccinated. Quit being a pussy.


Oh yeah.  It was hard to tell because I'm typing with fire-breathing fists.  WINNING!


Wow, what a unique and interesting perspective you've introduced!


I'm sorry aurash! I posted on Facebook for people to call me if they were free!


as I said I misread it and I was skeptical as messi until recently hasn't been great for his country, but his club form more than makes up for that


We've got our top scientists working on trying to decipher what you just said.


I wouldn't care if my son picked flowers. I wouldn't even care if he was gay, assuming that's your implication. But if he gave another man his phone number instead of asking for the other man's phone number, I'd tell him to stop being a bitch and get some game.


Nice sentiment, but I'd bet that it'd be Jill Stein with that interjection.


Nah, 21. Just fuck with this thread for kicks 'cause I'm a total loser.


THE SPICE MUST FLOW.

EDIT: I'm glad everyone here likes Dune as much as I do.


Haha violence is funny. Why don't we try a rape joke next?


Ok.  Reddit will handle your final wishes, instead of your family.


Restaurant gift cards? Lol


Actually, if you go back and look his last name is never mentioned as Putin. It's Berenstain.


Yes, because that's exactly what those people need: Some Internet douche stalking them.

EDIT: What you all retards are forgetting is that this is NYC.  We don't take kindly to people invading our ever-lacking privacy.  Shitty attitude? well, yeah.  Big fucking deal you got me in your video.


TRY NOT TO SUCK ANY DICK ON THE WAY TO THE PARKING LOT ...


This is a good time to talk about the multiple definitions of the word "innocent."


Leave the apologizing to the Canadians. Great article.


I downvoted this whole circlejerk.

"The Prestige" wasn't even that great a movie. I am sick of Reddit taking fringe characters from crappy movies and make obscure references and memes around them.


I would start, but I took an arrow to the knee.


What're you trying to accomplish by defending these pathetic facebook karma posts.......................................................


Actually pissed I've never thought of that.


Haha soooo...by that logic...you would 10/10 operate it.

0/10 would operate. FTFY.


This is why I have three dogs. Alarm salesmen come to our door and are instantly repelled by the sight of three very large dogs flinging themselves at the door. They shake the frame.


I R CAN HAZ PUNKUATION?


This would be the absolute greatest thing to witness as the next person in line.


They're girls.  They made a prank call.

Was it cruel? Absolutely.  Does it justify expulsion, violence, hatred? No.

It deserves a slap on the wrist.  If you want to do anything more, do something nice for the teacher like Mawkish suggested.


technically right....the best kind of right


C-C-C-Combo breaker!  This guy needs help.  He should get it before he gets married and ruins other people's lives.


* Le Me

* Le Downvoting

* Le You

Next time you post in /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuu, please use "le" in your comment. :)


Damn, I'm an American and half of that is news to me


Did it get deleted from reddit? If not, then it is still there and them "adults" can go find it from 2 days ago.


I am not Jenny or Carly


"Power couple?" Do you read cosmopolitan magazine and do yoga with your "girlfirends". Ugh.


> She left. And I finished.

&#3232;\_&#3232;


StiLl a better love story than ________


Adding to this...How does something like this end well for him?

American Cancer Society, although a non profit--has a lot of access to free legal firepower.

It started off funny, I expected funnyjunk to pull the comics and slink away.. but that hasn't happened.

This is just madness.


Typical Palestininian idiot got what he deserved.


I knew this would beheading in the wrong direction


...which is disgraceful fan behavior.


Turn them on?

&#3232;\_&#3232; Have a seat over there.


HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S HILARIOUS!


*Language*, dude...

the kid's sixteen years old.

you don't want Tom Hanks coming in here and getting all antsy that the internet has been swearing at his kid, do you?


Did u even read the img?


Eeeew....water.  Here, have some crab juice.


> Liberté, égalité, fraternité

لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله

Get with the times, French.


I've legitimately had a girl say to me "I like your shitty beard, my dad couldn't grow one either."

I like to think that it would bother me but having someones tongue in my mouth forgives a lot