Looks good, but Apple are now suing you for using rounded corners.


Oh man, I could fuck the shit out of a robotic maid and it would never get pregnant.  Unlike my stupid maid now. YOU HEAR THAT MARIA? YOU STUPID PREGNANT MAID?!


Once I got over the initial disappointment I've actually gotten quite excited :) However I did start today with the plan of actually using some colour.... that needs a bit of work >.<


Not just week to week. It's been *years* since we've known mike. Never once has he had any other emotion than 'fuck this bullshit I'm not dealing with it I have no fucks to give'

Now we just saw the opposite. It was sad really.

My favorite episode so far maybe one of the best of both BB and BCS


not fat at all broski, just not gonna start thinking that the roided out look is sexy


Fuck you, this joke is *hilarious*.


Is it wrong to want Nissan Auto to absolutely destroy the guy? Ruin his life and all the lives of people he's ever known?  But then again I always root against the underdog. I root for the Yankees, Patriots, and the Galactic Empire.


You might like to know that researchers like myself also hugely appreciate your wife's gift.  Even if someone's corneas can't be used for transplantation due to age or other factors, they are still very very useful in helping us better understand the structure and function of ocular tissues, and ultimately help us figure out ways to prevent or reverse blindness in others.


So you must be a dude, and that guy in the pic is flaming homo lol! No straight guy would put a dress on a stupid cat.  Hahah


Yes! and turn it into a story for when he is older.


I am a dick because shit like your post is useless when when there is a sea of the same shit posted.


And he was probably a douche to her


Why do any of us care? We're all just wasting time on Reddit.


ANNNIT FEEEELSS LIKE AH AMMM JUUSSTOOO CLOSE TO LUUUVE YEEEWWUBWUBWUB WUB WUB WUB


Right? He's 28 and has posters in his room? Time for a bf upgrade, don't bother with the poster issue.


>Treat them like you would any other roommate.

>don't walk around in your underwear.

Does not compute.


Translation: "I'm a whiny bitch that abuses power, but since I can't do anything immediately about this I'm going to bitch to everyone else that can."

I work with people like you, and do everything in my power to make those peoples lives absolute shit. I can only imagine how shitty it feels to have the internet hate you.


karmanaut ends up disqualifying him.


Every Golds gym I have ever been to is the epitome of the steroids culture


The people who don't turn the knob are the ones who never snuck out of their parents' house as a teen.


It's possible to say someone is wrong without indicting all feminists or denigrating people who suffer from mental health issues. I am asking you one last time to check your privilege.


You had a 34 meter schawarma removed from your brain? o.O


> recoiling every time she tries to cuddle with him.

That just sounds so cruel of me to ask him to do that. I can't force him to be in a position where he is hated by my sister. They are both "at fault" it's not just not him.


I read 16 and pregnant, and was like, uh ok I guess...


Yeah, but calling a fat chick fat seems a little too easy


800 pounds? Doesn't matter, had sex.


You are a liying whore.


This is a family man.


Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?


**REDDIT HAS 30+ MILLION UNIQUE MONTHLY VISITORS IT IS NOT A SECRET CLUBHOUSE**


well you are a dumb fuck.

good luck on the easy mode..."OH MY GAWD GREATEST GAME EVAR...JIZZ PANTS"


oh really girlfriend? I thought that was just your cheap mascara, but don't worry sister, it matches your payless shoes.


o yea i fuckign love laughing at pens.  "hhahahahaa omg **ball** point dae dick jokeS?/?


You can't hand out life lessons for free.


But at the same time, no one cares


Nice joke, is it 2004 already?


No, there is no such thing as misandry, and yes, I'm serious. Also:

>You are appointed for your neutrality and unbiased moderation

lol nice assumption


Ok I tried this and all it did was unlock Raiden...


>I bet she'd be a shitting roommate.

FTFY


Oh, you got the super saver high interest account I see?


if you replaced johnny U with peyton, itd almost be the same


I thanked them for killing me. I mean come on, C2H4O2 + NaHCO3 produces CO2. It's heavier than air. It was a joke people. O my, that's some nerd comedy right there.
I guess it was ultimately good for my career... at least so far ;-)


You make it seem like I'm lashing out because of my precious karma. I assure you I'm not. I don't care about being "downvoted into oblivion." I'm simply stating my analysis of reddit based off of my observations. Clearly reddit is not mostly sociopaths, but I would wager to say that most of the commenting and posting people on reddit are the way that I previously described.


Are you kidding me? No chocolate for 15 years? How is that no big deal!?!?


He and i could probably be friends... give him my #
Edit: What the fuck, you jerks? I was being friendly!  *never again!*


The original concept was that the machines use humans for their brains' computational power.


He does but it is extremely rare against a top team.


I'm ashamed at how long that took me to understand that.


That's cute. Not everyone has your geography book.


No response yet.

http://imgur.com/EHhlz3k

Edit: Here's the response. Anti-clictic folks, but as promised:

http://m.imgur.com/a/9DCKA


Ah, yes. Deflect and ask what's wrong with *me* that I could possibly be angry. It has nothing to do with your ignorant comment. You are literally absolved of all responsibility for what you write.


>And now we've forgotten what we set it to, can you unblock it so your Grandpappy can watch Backdoor Sluts 9?

It can always get worse.


this will actually be nothing like Russian Roulette, please don't play like that, my uncle unfortunately passed during one of those games not long ago.


:( His son must have been so lonely.


wheres the skittles. I demand to see some skittles

Edit: This seems like my first successful troll attempt but I wasnt even trying


we would have to change  **A LOT** of road signs


YOU'RE GIRLFWIEND IS A FATTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


"Ok let's sit and play the card game where no one loses."


this

edit: Downvotes? really? i replied "this" when his comment had 1 point because it was awesome and i wanted to bring attention to it among the other 500 questions also with 1 point.


yes mr. banker i want all the toys from toysrus


It's actually a repost, and he's just karmawhoring while trying to be witty. I'm going to ban him from the post list (I'm a Reddit Gold Member)


I used to agree with random Redditors, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


"my son needs a new camera phone"


>  sharias law

It's amazing to me how often r/worldnews can condemn vile ignorance while simultaneously advocating its own.

You guys are the reason youtube makes fun of reddit. So I guess, I should thank you for le laughs.

Your intellect deserves to be mocked.

p.s. It's called *sharia*. Saying sharia law is like saying islamic law law.


>95% of posts

FTFY


I'm an atheist and all but I don't wanna be associated with Bill Maher. I'm sorry but that guys a fuckin queef with a stupid face.

EDIT (because of all the downvotes) :  i never realized reddit was mostly just a bunch of queefs with stupid faces.


I do this at the bus stop.  Headphones in and no music going.  Everyone ignores me and I hear amazing conversations.


Ok, if you just pulled off the most awesome thing that you ever did, and it was totally ninja and you didn't even expect it, would it piss you off if while everyone was high fiving you a super white guy came in for a five and was like "mah nigga!"


> weirded out about how much younger she was than him

She was weirded out by 3 years difference? Odd broad.


Yeah, you're so fucking tough for using the word "fucking". Typical redditor. I wonder how long until they start using their "ultimate" word, "bullshit"? So typical.


Why me!? I like my computer!


yeps. I know posting your address is a stupid idea, which is why i have more than 1 wallet. If my wallet with the address listed gets messed up, my main one is fine.


You are his new mother

now you must kill her


Both of you are part of the problem. Visor? Scoff.

I'll kiss the man that mods Edi into some androgynous frame without giant tits and hair.

Why can't she be a geth.


Chef here. Putting oil in the water when you're cooking pasta makes no difference to whether it sticks together or not. You just need to make sure you stir it regularly.


Asians do everything for no reason whatsoever. They're the weirdest ethnicity around


What? A douche named Chad? Stop the presses!


Male here. Same boat. Just remember "nice giys finish last, and assholes finish first" seems true... :/


Even better, that she's got a disease that's deadly to 99% of the population, so Gothel was chosen to keep her safe.

Rapunzel was too good hearted to risk danger to other people.


Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you...


"Dammit, grandpa! Stop upvoting my r/GoneWild posts!"

I feel sorry for our children, having to share the internet with us.


We've talked about this before and she said she would never date someone like him because he's not her type and she's just friends with him and always tells me that no one can take my place. I believe her and trust her but you never really know /:

Another thing is that we're both really open and talk about anything comfortably, even stuff like this.


Well that's just mean.


Gasp! Check it out, a flaming faggot is giving me a lecture! Oh noes~


"Having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card!"


I was about to post the Stock Recommendation meme too.


I'm imagining you as so angry that your tea is spilling out of its cup and your monocle falls out of your eye, while your moustache twitches in rage.


itt: people who care about some backstage figure.


Don't agree with you, because I favor the right of the woman not to carry a pregnancy over the rights of the embryo / fetus, but I gave you an up-vote for bringing the topic up in the first place.


There are 120 stars, if he had apx. 60 stars in 60 mins, and that rate stayed consistent, his time would have been 1:20.


>Plot twist- they gave her correct change and she was just trying to con her way into an extra cent.

Do that 20000 times a day and you can make a living from it


No, they are bad. They look like pencil drawings some high school kid posted on his crappy DeviantArt page[Edit: Why the hell are there so many downvotes? The *new* drawings are especially bad. People can't read context apparently.]


I've always wondered how gay men thought about that kind of thing. It's always come off as extremely demeaning from an outside perspective. It's like if I had a black friend and went everywhere bragging out loud that he was black, and strictly introduced him to people as "MY BLACK FRIEND CHRIS. HES BLACK BTW. LOL WE'RE SUCH A FUNNY PAIR. DID I MENTION HE WAS BLACK?!?"


Scumbag Bloxd002:

Is a faggot

Makes it known in his posts


If it's any consolation to you--and it is to me--people have been feeling this bullshit forever.

Catullus 85, first century BC:

*Odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris?*

*nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.*

I hate and I love. Perhaps you ask why I do this? I do not know, but I feel it happen and I am torn apart.


I think if she was serious yes she would be labeled crazy. But this is the internet and it's obvious he's being sarcastic and not serious. More often than not that joke wouldn't be socially acceptable outside of the internet coming from anyone's mouth.


It's hard to get surprised by the pictures of the bodies when you just found out that George Clooney has a satellite.


Because Canadians are too dumb to start any other major chains.


And they usually want to chat RIGHT NOW


SJW's don't have opinions, their purpose is to destroy the ability for others to share their opinions


Michael Scott- a true hero.


That's fine, people can joke all they like, however I personally get the feeling OP wasn't quite joking.  At any rate, the point of my post was to point out what /u/nanogoose was obviously ignoring about the context of /u/FattM 's post.


America's Funniest Home Videos were like the youtube of their time though. I also liked Bob Saget.

-edit: my highest rated comment is a Bob Saget comment.


Yeah I was a little dick about it I'm not gunna lie.


"If you will excuse me, I'm going to go to the toilet to make some more room. I really feel like I'm up to the challenge of a fifth one."


Well, females tend not to go into alpha-male power trips when given some power. For that reason alone they may turn out to be better for humanity as leaders.


I've never been a victim of this myself, but saw it happen far too much when I was younger -- and to a lesser extent, as an adult.

It's embarrassing to watch a group of your friends (in their late twenties too) randomly decide they dislike someone and making them the "runt". Congrats, they're outnumbered, and I don't want to hang out with you guys anymore!


Oh, because if a woman doesn't want to run the risk of  being assaulted  in a bathroom (because it happens) she must be a bigot, and not authentically concerned......

Nice!


Almost a good as blasting American woman and doing doughnuts in an empty dirt field as soon as I got it.


You couldn't hit the ground with a rock, I'm scared.


I don't remember a fridge in any of those three movies.


Fuck off and keep trying to suck on MC's dick you fucking faggot ass.


Just be careful, the last tall Redditor to get his picture on the front page ended up deleting his account due to stallkers.


I don't care because Paul will never get the nomination anyway. He stands for nothing the Republican party does and is generally batshit insane.

Why on earth would they let him run for president for them? They agree with nothing he says apart from banning abortion, state funded religions, no right to privacy, his removal of the income tax, getting rid of the DOE and EPA and his racism.


How are the people in CSI supposed to identify you if you didn't cum on anything?


Uhhhh, no. Those guys have always existed. It wasn't until the normal guys started coming out that we started seeing progress.


Happens to me all the time, if a child waves at me I wave back and always smile. I'm a 32 year old guy though, so of course I'm hankerin for a rapin.


Agreed.Gauges need to GTFO of society. Same with the bull nose rings. Fuck it, all piercings need to go away.


This image epitomizes the American dream; RIP.


I don't know why but just seeing the word "viner" makes me want to punch toddlers.


Still a better love story than Twilight.


At a startup in 1998 apparently


I love Kesha and I love MEgan Fox Also

[Semi Nude Leaked Pic of Megan Fox(NSFW)](http://url-Go.com/meeegaa)


Trawling and trolling (pre-internet) are very similar. Trawling makes use of a net, Trolling makes use of a baited line.


Hey why don't you SEC wusses come get a mouthful of baby blue for a non-conference game instead of those FCS cupcakes? Ask sportingglobe how much those blue uniforms can smart 3 years running now.


Or "We're here to serve this warrant, come with us."


i am not going to respond to negativity thank you


Anything she reads she just cuts it in half.


Keep digging in my post history.  There's some choice shit in there I'm very proud of.

I guess I should do an AMA.

IAMA giant peice of shit AMA!!


I can't tell if I saw what you did there..


What does my badge have anything to do with what I said. I am new to soccer, I play it, I watch as much of it as I can. But it's boring. I'm not a huge fan of man u but I do like them. They're one of the most interesting clubs out there, so I chose that badge. I'm not married to it. I'm not even an Arsenal fan and I can tell that you're a pompous ass.


I think it's scarrier that bananas are 50% people.


No. The world must know how this happened.


TIL R Kelly loves Chick-Fil-A.


instant thought:   Wow, she's been doing her Kegel exercises


I like it when she spanks me, though.


Dude I've been high every day since 1991.


Not sure why the downmods.. Your comment is actually what people should be doing in response to the parent.


As a chef, I've actually had to turn away customers because of they had whole lists of allergies to common items in my kitchen.

I work in a Vietnamese restaurant;  If you're allergic to gluten, rice, nuts, and fish there's not much I can give you that won't kill you.


Couldn't wait those extra couple months for absolutely shitty launch title games, eh fanboy?


"Had to swallow"

I like your attitude!


This is a repost , from 9gag....


He was the most liberally perfumed man I have ever encountered.


If you dont want to give upvotes then its fine. Stop moaning at my posts


Don't swear, she's 101  &#3232;\_&#3232;


That is not up for debate, unfortunately, as there must be moderation in order to maintain a safe space. Not moderating has been tried and it just doesn't work. There are other subreddits for gay males that are continuing that experiment, but I personally do not like how they're turning out nor are they nearly as safe as required by such a large subreddit with responsibility.


That's longer than I have ever lasted with your sister. Congrats


downvote for thinking social commentary is whining


no, he just got a little hurt


I don't see why that's that difficult to believe. I have better things to be doing.


my mom did this to me and I instantly vomited. it was horrifying.


He is just farming karma. Trying to look PC distracts from that. This news was posted yesterday.


So roughly three time the speed of a 9mm bullet fired out of a handgun.


Thanks for looking into this for us.


Don't worry, just plug a webcam into the usb port.


when the title to the content is "stay safe, godzilla"? absolutely.

but it might take you a minute, because apparently, you're a fucking idiot too.


(Looks out the window)

"HONEEEEY! Where's the Bible?"


Why the hell do we allow North Korea to participate in the games at all?


Helga Pataki is like a male Helga Pataki.


What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Stand a little taller,  doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone!

Damn you Kelly with your catchy songs!


That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about Star Trek to dispute it.


lol I was gonna say exactly that.. but you beat me to it..


Mal, they killed me Mal. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that. Got a short span here. They destroyed my equipment, but I have a backup unit. Bottom of the complex. Right over the generator. Hard to get to. I know they missed it. They can't stop the signal Mal. You can never stop the signal.


And again, Reddit lives up to its stereotype of worshiping mediocre looking women.

*Hahaha you all hate to hear the truth. This is so funny.


Bravo good sir. Did not see that one coming.


Sorry, only talking about Americans.


Yeah I felt that one.


FYI: I just made this conversation my comment in ventrilo and titled it, "thenshesays needs a reddit medal".  After reading the comments I think we could have something special going on...


you also have to ask if its more about willingness to raise a child with downs syndrome or unwillingness to have an abortion


~~Or maybe he had an Xbox One! Badum PSH!~~

EDIT: Wow, no lame jokes allowed on this sub reddit. Seriously guys, take it easy.


Well, if only some of it was leaking, that would work.


cos bosh is a bitch and everyone knows that


Your first sentence has absolutely no relevance to your second. Nowhere in it did you make any sense at all. I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.


Funny, but also wrong...

EDIT: are you people serious?  Can none of you imagine how this could *possibly* be considered offensive?  Can't it be funny *and* offensive? Do we really need to focus on the one and completely ignore the other?  Oh, fuckitall.


Shut up. It's from 4chan.


I didn't have to google that!

**SHUT-UP I'VE BEEN CLEAN FOR YEARS NOW**


> Please re-read the OP's question, which I was answering.

Irrelevant.

Doesn't change the fact that "you need adequate intake of protein" isn't informative. It's seriously a waste of typing.


Haha nice one. Man United in the Champions' League!


Yes it is literally instantaneous. Do you understand that the Eve API for assets doesn't update instantaneously?

Do you have any knowledge of how this actually works pertaining to siphons, or are you just parroting what you've read?


Have more friends than just spouse


Upvote this to bring back link flair in its current or changed forms.


Get away, FF scum!

Although I really did enjoy Hitman: Blood Money.


You don't disturb a man that's trying to eat.


The Brits can't stand that the supposed "best league in the world" doesn't have any of the top 3 players in the world.


How do you make burnt milk?!?

On a side note, do they really believe that they can lie to their God with a teapot?


Your comments in this thread are despicable.


Miracle Whip is worse


Why would any straight person wanna go to an aids-infested bar?


The other guy thought

"I wish I had a best friend"


What the actual fuck do you think a Dishonored post would be about? Non-spoilers? Of course there are spoilers you dumb redneck. Don't go about shooting a theater now, because someone called you names, twat.


Awesome! I've always loved reading. What's your favorite book?


Tyler, Your intentions might be good here but the language turns the whole idea off.


Do you ever write bloody messages? That would be amazing if you lived with someone else, you could leave them little haikus


Maybe you guys like to have someone else's boogers on your faces but I think it is disgusting and disrespectful.


It isn't the place of government to rule on what is acceptable. I thought we left that behind after John Mortimer and allies fought the "Lady Chatterley's Lover" case back in the 1960s.


Alright fine, you win. Stick your fingers in your ears and aggressively ignore the fact that gun control lowered violence and suicides in every democratic country it was introduced.

Enjoy a country that is infamous for mass shootings by deranged psychopaths and an embarrassingly high gun violence statistic for a first world country.

You fucking moron.


You turned down the backslide sex? That's a smart man, but I've never managed to do it. Backslide sex is the best, most emotionally damaging sex there is.

You have that mix of love and hate, its new but its also familiar and comfortable. It almost makes the nasty break-up worth it. Well, not really, but silver linings and all that.


They're paying him 7 Million a year. I don't think his move has anything to do with the MLS


The more you say, the more I think your teacher is creepy.


I can easily tell the difference between 344Hz and 240Hz. 60FPS is not acceptable in the slightest. A $350 PC and a $80 CRT is enough to do at least 85FPS at an OK resolution.


"We should've at least got to keep the money."

That's just amazing.


*facepalm* I mean I pretty much explained it quite clearly that I didn't mean that but if you and Spyger are too dumb to understand clear argument then I don't know what to say to you....


It's amazing how common this misconception is among girls at that age.

Or how much males like pretending it happened to them. Either way, I see it a lot.


I will never understand the grammar nazi bullshit on reddit...  Any time someone makes the smallest mistake some asshole has to be a smart ass about it.


What if that someone is the same person?


It is still a great picture that many many people haven't seen.


I say r/band would be a good name


I'm going to make this very clear to you.

The word "can" does not always mean an ability to do something.

It can mean a set of skills to perform a task.

Your choosing to interpret this word's meaning as an ability is more sexist than anything I said.


You knew she didn't hang up too. She listened. She always listened.


That is funnier than the joke!!! LMFAO!!


That's why he's the president.


Because I'm subscribed to it.


In Kenya they have white rhinos under 24 hour armed guard. A 4-6 man squad with full military kit.


ummm, I believe in ID. I don't think I look unevolved.... guess I'll have to check.


Sorry; I meant the richest President. I agree that Rockefeller was the richest American of all time.


Your comment has absolutely nothing to do with the thread you replied to. You sir, are trying to steal more views by posting a completely unrelated comment in a thread where it does not belong just because it's at the top.


don't tell me how to get my fix


why would you want your girlfriend's tits on **le** internet


Uhhhh... Are you my husband?  This is our exact timeline and met the same way.

I SEE YOU LAYING ON THE COUCH WITH YOUR PHONE, BABE.

Maybe.


> Ukraine is about to declare itself bankrupt

Statement that /u/Onanymous is about to declare himself bankrupt have the same level of trustworthiness


He was dying to tell that joke.


You fucking moron! Comment ordering is usually based on how many upvotes you've received over how many downvotes you've received, since your comment is the worst and is thus the last one, there's no fucking video posted below you idiot. You meant to hit reply and say "above" you fucking idiot.


Damn that cat is black. @_@


after decades of American rule post ww2


Obligatory:

:O  <===8

:O<===8

:C=8

:3


It's far from unanimous, but as long as the angry downvote brigade is effectively silencing everyone who disagrees with you, most of our support comes to the modmail.


My Documents

My Pictures

My Porn

Cats


you can't just "take orders first at dominos" hahahaha


Thanks for the notification. We're monitoring this thread closely.


vendetta against what? women being sexually exploited? seems like a perfectly valid vendetta to me


bitch I ain't ask for the pepper


> No matter how old you are, its not OK to pressure someone into sex, or make ultimatums about sex.

Yes it is perfectly okay. Why is okay for OP to not want to have sex, but not ok for her boyfriend to want sex? He is simply telling her what he needs out of the relationship. If she cannot provide it, they will break up.


I was playing gta iv yesterday, drove at high speed, crashed, flipped a few times and landed inches in front of a guy, who was just standing and watching. He says

"dude, that was fucking awesome!"

and just continues to stroll along the street


No self respecting indian with an ounce of brain will watch so indianwood movies, i.e. bollywood, tollywood, kollywood, you name it.


Latest season was brilliant. Danny DeVito stuck in that children's playground had me rolling.

"It's not a pyramid scheme! It's a funnel system!"

"Turn it upside down."

"God damn it!"


LmAo NoBOdy GiiiiiiiiiiiVeS a ShiiiiiiiiiT !! SORrY ! BuDdY........


( •_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)


Calling her a cutie pie or whatever isn't really hitting on her. It's not like he asked for her phone number or asked her to go out. Plus, how does he know she's only 16? Unless he asked her which isn't stated in the story. It's not like her age is written on her forehead. Op's parents were the creepers in this story, following the guy home!


*For the practical and emotional needs of Jewish children.* Seriously? What an obscure fucking demographic to have a fundraiser for.


You stole this from another thread.


My best friend was having a nervous breakdown and depression problems caused by her crazy family and was trying to give her now husband a way out of her crazy life by telling him if he broke up with her she would understand and not hold it against him. He got out of bed, grabbed the ring and told her to shut the fuck up and go back to sleep.

real romance right there.


She should be responsible about her alcohol intake then.


:(

My name is Alex and I was employee of the month once at my job.

Just once.


Soviet Union was a jewish state. It had to be destroyed.

General Patton even said "we fought the wrong people".


Yeah you never mess with those kinds of people.

The Irish are off the fucking chain.


You are, unfortunately, wrong. those shades belonged to [Hollywood](http://content9.flixster.com/photo/11/07/40/11074023_gal.jpg).

The dollar store sold them when I was a kid, but my parents knew Hollywood was a flaming homosexual. I was too young to realize.

They kept mysteriously vanishing. My parents came clean when I was an adult.


pure korean advice material here


You fucking disgust me.  Your sense of humor is horrible and you are the part I hate about reddit.  Fuck you and your bullshit taste.


A few months later after avoiding each other at Target, you hear her on her phone the next aisle over.

"Oh my god becky, I just ran into that loser Kevin, what is he stalking me?  He wont stop calling me."  You never called her.


Wow you are revealing quite a lot on the interwebs lol! I have to say I did get a little bit flustered while reading that. Do you have any pictures you want to send or share? A PM is fine. I could send you some *exciting* pictures of me! I'll PM you first get back to me soon.


This is why black underwear is a lifesaver.


you upset or something, baby boy?


lyk dis if u cri evrytim


Of course you know, this means war!


Gentlemen, remember to lint roll your girlfriends daily.


Had me until I found out you intentionally slammed into a girl.

Edit: Sheesh, sorry guys. I just don't like the thought of a dude running into a girl and spinning her around because she wasn't paying attention. Maybe I am sexist.


Haha yeah me and my friend when we're bored we like to play with each other's penises (in a non-sexual way), and it really makes us better friends


Well, you are pretty new here.

It's just karma.


Just deleted my yelp app - screw them for extorting small businesses.


Throw the fox in the lake as an experiment to see if his fur will save him. Then cook the ducks. If the fox manages to eat the duck, then you've got a foxducken without needing to stuff the fox first for Christmas. Damn the picture makes me hungry.

Edit: Vegan assholes downvoting me, this is /r/aww, not /r/toopussyformeat. Cute fox, but that doesn't mean he's inedible.


Some people?!?!? Who the f*ck you callin' some people?!?


Dogs don't have souls, this really isn't that big of a deal.

Edit: Seriously, it's just an animal, it doesn't have feelings. Why is this such a big deal? If I had a dog chewing up all my stuff I'd kill it too.


Just because you only watched 4 minutes of it, doesn't make it a short film.


why? that doesn't make any sense. Our justice system is not the Hammurabi code.


***♫ ON TOP OF SPAGHEEEEETTIIIII... ♫***


Well... considering he was just cross checked by the goalie...


They should retire it. Their last episode should be "Is it possible to jump a shark on waterskis?"


There will never be another Mr. Rogers.

All the internet people will call him gay and a hippie faggot.


In Canada men are the ones who birth babies.


That is 100% used in the right context with the right meaning dickbrain


It's safe to say
( •_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
The buck stops here.


Anderson Silva would retire if he had to fight any fighter with talent. Dudes a straight fight ducking coward.


"With my freeze ray I will stop... the pain."

Upvotes, to me.


If you need flashy points for every completed heist, then maybe you should take a break. Leveling up should not be a driving factor for playing a game.


This is Himel Goldstein, Woody Harrelson's legal advisor.

I regret to inform you that Mr. Herrelson has suffered an unfortunate finger sprain and will no longer be able to field any of your questions regarding sexual encounters or **allegedly** popped virgins.


>Wow he went full retard lol

fixed


This is why Reddit can't have nice things


Seriously. All theae games for $1!


If I say this is nothing more than an annoying circle jerk would you guys realize I'm actually just trying to get my ticket on the karma train?


So it's just a shitty freeware macro


I am a woman and I came here to just say that I too like Boobs.


60% of the time, it works everytime


Do you think he cums as soon as he solves the problem?


better them in a camp then in our homes and our cars


Read as "strokes goatse."


haha, except the dad looks like dustin browder. i sure hope it is. if he has cancer, i'd laugh


What does it take to get on this train?


the second i see any female support kim kardashian in anything, her opinion as a person is void.


Pick any:

- global warming
- probability of major impacts from space
- nuclear war
- your mum eating us all (and the planet)


60% of the time. It works every time.


>"I don't want to go to your baby shower, I don't support you reproducing"


I simply do not believe that someone who made a choice to put themselves in a burdened position such as being pregnant deserves special treatment.

Being pregnant is not special or amazing or deserving of everyone's sympathy or praise or inconvenience. It is a purely selfish act.

If you can tell me one reason to have a kid that doesn't begin with "I want" I will concede my position.


Me too.

Both just collect dust because PC gaming is more my thing.


> for fucks sake OP, quit giving us such a shitty name on reddit.

I'd argue you're kind of doing that right now.


Have you ever seen a grown man naked?


can you show me a legal document that says you do have the "right"?


The college market alone would get you millions.


But you obviously don't


HOWAAAAAAHD? IS THAT YOU?


"Freedom" is just a fancy way of being owned.


He looks like penguin from gotham

edit:  http://i.imgur.com/XkY1BYu.gif


There is no god, so he is not trying to impress anyone. Fuck off.


I was surprised in a scene he actually took damage and wasn't an unstoppable force of god. Just a really pissed off man on a mission.


Until 'she' whips out that penis. lol.


> Fuckin leeroy jenkinsd that shit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCiVq284mNg&feature=youtu.be
Going to hell

Edit: Holy Shit, i wake up from a nap and i have 4 gold?! I've been a lurker for 2 years and now this...exciting stuff. Now Ill have gold for when i'm in hell!


I used to fuck whoever says that, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


That sounds like the cutest name for a kitten.


and wow, someone is REAL mature by down-voting ALL of my comments, shows how sore and sensitive they are.  Can't handle soul shattering truths.  No one will admit their sensitivity training.  You can always tell when you've struck a chord with someone's sensitive little soft spot.  Truth DOES hurt, doesn't it?


Why did you need to add 'dumb bitch'?


Occam's razor should also tell you that my views of women were not part of anything I mentioned and that that was an assumption by puppy fister.


*SHIT. A STORY. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT BEFORE OTHERS.*


Yeah, I got that now. Just confused on why a technically incorrect comment was getting upvoted, so I asked :p


Never heard that one :) that's hilarious.

And nope, I havent really felt light headed, i'm pretty sure in terms of % of blood in your system its not a huge difference from others.


Along with the lack of health insurance...god, Americans are so primitive...


The fact that they protest the funerals of soldiers make them vehemently disagreeable people.  That shit is fucked.


Apparently everyone who thinks that this is the worst advice ever...


North Mars is best Mars.


The website looks like made by an idiot, too...a very 90's idiot.


Even dogs know to never admit to a fart.


Students have an opinion like they wear a brand, it's all fashion. Right now it's fashionable to hate Israel, but fashions pass. If big organizations won't capitalize on this wave of Israel hate in academia, I don't see it lasting or having any meaningful effect on the situation.


I did and I'm a girl. Oops.


1st. I did get downvoted as expected.
2nd. I was mostly trying to pay homage to him as it seems not many other people on this thread are taking it seriously.


"Hey dad I'm hungry"

"Really? I thought you were Daniel"

"No Dad, I'm serious"

"but you just said you were Hungry!"

"Are you kidding me???"

"No, I'm Dad."


LTUFY? I don't know what that stands for. Do you not grasp the allusion I'm making here?


Sort of like people using that quote to describe these movies. Such an original thought.


Thank fuck for a happy(ish) ending.


He's already here; his name is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.


voice over on the stereo system - "fuck mode activated"


Didn't I post this like 3 seconds ago?


>saw him hitting himself then spun slowly back to face my monitor.

Roommate endangering his own life? But reddit needs me.


Dunno, do you? I have a cock.


That's one hell of a tl;dr


What's wrong with caring about the integrity of journalism? I'm not saying it's an important topic, but there is nothing wrong with the gaming industry pushing for more ethical standards in games journalism.


Don't look directly into it...


Oh for *fuck's* sake, grow up. Downvote submissions you don't like. Report spam. Do **not** go around accusing well-known and liked Redditors of corrupt practices with the flimsiest of evidence. I haven't seen many submissions of Saydrah's that weren't of some value, and when I do, I downvote. Social media consultants use social media sites well? I'm shocked, really. So what?


The British spelling is a bit less beautiful.

Diarrhoea.


TIL switching vowels and consonants around makes you clever.


I think that depends on where you live. I'm just outside of a city, in a suburb. The housing association won't allow for clotheslines as some people find them unsightly.

But, growing up, my grandmother always hung out her clothes. The dryer heated up the house and she preferred the "freshness" of line-dried clothing.


Don't act like you have a job, nigger. LOL


Old guy, wang in hand

Cops came, tried to subdue him

Peed on everyone


And gets away with juicing.


Clearly he is a timelord who got stuck on earth, thus "Stuck"eley.


I regularly lie on the internet. It's about 95% of what I do.


Secondary Audio Programming: When you watch TV, there's usually a SAP version of it that your TV can use. Here in the States, it's usually a Spanish language version. It's like watching a DVD with the Spanish selected, but it's live TV.


Is this targeted at me?  No I'm not picking fights but a lot of the speculation is illogical and whatnot.  Since this is directly involved with what I originally posted, why are you being contradictory without a response involved with the argument.  Fuck you, is what I'm trying to say.


JB: I learned it while training for Cirque Du Soleil. Lots of practice.


The difference here is that he didn't make any move to stop her once he knew what she was doing. He took advantage of the situation.


What the actual fuck?! These people are fucking psychopaths!


Fucking judgemental prick


Well that's ridiculous. So much for democracy.


who the fuck cares if that nigger is dead. One more dead nigger is the best thing to happen to america. Here's to plenty more.


Not long after writing that, my dog knocked over a floor fan. Just thought you should know I screamed like a little girl.


>Hey Bazza! Hold me ~~beer~~ Fosters for a sec!

FTFY


Upvote for innate pork pricing ability.


You go WITH her?  I love how people word things to make the context seem more important like they have some personal connection.

You attend the same school she does...sort of like I live on the same planet as Milla Jovovich....but I don't like WITH her...much to my dismay.


I think it's just good make-up


Also, it's cute that you made a snarky little comment to me, is it supposed to hurt my feefees?


The magnets move with any moving magnetic field. So if I get close enough to a strong magnetic field, they start to vibrate in my fingertips. I can feel those vibrations. It is a similar feeling to when your fingers tingle after you hit your elbow.


Downvote this!!! Get this aspie shit out of here!!


To explicitly de-gay Spock and to put at least one female on screen that you can genuinely believe Kirk hasn't nailed.


good thing its not about the television


I am a divorced father.  I can 100% tell you that I still raise my kids and the environment is vastly better than the last few months I was married to their mom.

My eldest son was near the point of needing counselling due to the tension and unhappiness between his parents.


...'til you've tried it.


As a balding male, I do the whole lot at the same time with one razor. If It looks like I've had a shave and a haircut, chances are I've shaved my pubes too.


There were straps that appeared to be holding the top three items together, but they weren't into the windows as well. This picture doesn't really show it very well


Once a story has included both "enema" and "Wal-mart," it's a good idea to bail the fuck out.


Then neither would they be responsible for his, with full rights to verbally abuse and threaten him.


Brick through the window.


Whatever they were they weren't worth your ignorant and insulting commentary.


You might have schizophrenia


RERCH NERVER GERTS CERGHT.


As a Steelers fan I can confirm this.


>26 with an ex husband? Yeah that is not surprising at all considering your responses here.

Jesus fucking christ, you're the last kind of person a relationships forum needs. What a nasty thing to say.


>Getting offended is a great way to avoid answering questions that make you sound dumb.

I love that statement. That's all I can say.


Ahem.  That was *my* scathing blog entry, and she misses the point entirely about why I was [upset](http://lillyweatherlane.blogspot.com/2009/03/open-letter-to-crazy-person-i-no-longer.html)


In Britain they call that Waking Lumber


By our, you mean WrestleInc.com right?


The Watercolorception begins.


le incontrol posting on le reddit xD xD xD truestory.jpg


DO NOT DO THIS GUYS YOUR CORN DOG WILL BLOW UP.

**Put your phone in the microwave to charge it for better results**


Bloody is used pretty often by Americans. Not as often as British people, but it's pretty well included in the vocabulary in the US.


I have spent my entire life thinking that Jack and Meg were brother and sister. Your comment made me question so many things.


how did you get to be such a cunt?


talking with hands is a HUGE part of italian culture


You sound beta as fuck


The review gets 5 stars!


I wonder if she woke up in the middle of the night and knew she was dying.  Terror strikes her, she reaches for the phone to call ghettohaxor, her heart already failing.  Wanting to profess her dying love for ghettohaxor, her heart suddenly explodes within her chest.  She lies there, blood slowly draining from her brain and every neuron slowly dying out.


> I'll be back

And I'll be [waiting](http://i.imgur.com/F67er.gif) :D


I know my own grammar dickhead, it's called a mistake.


Because everyone mind in Utah is two spaces left of anyone else from the US


maybe the reason he turned into a faggot emo kid was because of charizard getting stolen.


Obscure?
I don't think that word means what you think it means.


Damn that was a nice gesture of her if she paid for your meal. She obviously felt bad about calling you out understandably. Most busy bodies like that wouldn't be so nice I think.


hahahahahaha

omg, i lold so hard

here, have an upvote


The taste of her butter chapstick...


if you get pissed over every sexist joke on the internet you gonna have a bad time.
save your worries for the actual serious conversation about gender equalities or whatever.
i mean cmon - we even have killable children mods in skyrim, but i dont see anyone getting really angry about them? lol


And usually with less teeth! You can't find a better deal.


Sounds like UA is using civilians as human shields again.


That'll do pig. That'll do.


Yea it was funny on twitter 6 months ago


I just paid $1100 for a coach flight from US to Europe. If I could get to Europe for even $150 each way, I couldn't care how shitty the on-board service is.

Plus, they will drive the price down on other airlines.


This guy needs more upvotes.


As a man I find it unlikely that this was a joke.


I'm sorry but I personally feel like the line has been crossed and a person needs counseling if they have a rape fantasy/fetish thing. Aggressive sex is one thing, but rape... No.


On the tip of your penis


Thanks, I just thought they were be a lot of coders in this subreddit. I guess not and it seems I have to spoonfeed them basic coding principles.


Same here. First time I look I hadn't noticed the arrow.


Anyone who read that as 'fap' doesn't know they're homosexual yet.

Also, only homosexuals downvote me.

lol gerafes are dumb.


You should talk to your parents about this.  You could be a Disney Princess, and they just never told you.  You'll want to find out about it sooner rather than later, when your wicked stepmother tries to kill you.


It was a joint decision of some of the ASRS mods to do this.


those are dangerous fighting words. idk if i want to find out what happened next.


Yeah, and the internet's become rather shit as a result. Ho hum.


They added all the days.


That's odd, I was told it was runner up to your "joke".


Why would he get in the tub then fill it?


You were raped. It's very often the case that the victim sympathizes for the offender, here evident by you saying

>Once he entered the room, what was I supposed to say?

I have seen that line from hundreds of rape victims who shared their stories with me. You need to go to a hospital and get a rape kit and you need to press charges against this guy.


I don't think you need a Master's to know that nuclear power haters are morons.


One bad apple spoils the bunch.


>met by the VP and about 400 kids.

I'm imagining Joe Biden and Congress.


Because no Madrid player has ever dived, ever.


Not with that bartering level


Haha, I've noticed. It's a little funny seeing how angry the crowd has gotten based on my comment. Kind of hypocritical, but hey, that's reddit.


honestly why are you guys arguing about something that didnt even happen


Edit: Since people are still pretending to not understand what I mean and pulling shit out of their arse; interpreting things in a way I never intended (or thought someone could interpret them) I deleted the rest of the comments.


i think so. Loren Bouchard definitely has an affinity for weird falsetto, strangely homoerotic siblings, although i'm not sure walter and perry were related


>I don't give a fuck about her

That's really weird, because you joined a movement that was started about her, you just posted a link about her, and for some reason you seem to be investigating her vacation plans.

This is some real tsundere shit bro. "It's not like I care about you or anything! I read your court documents because I wanted too, baka."


Welp I think the internet has given me just about all it has to offer. See you guys later.


not really sure why this was such a big issue, since it was resolvable simply by disconnecting then reconnecting.


I want exactly 0 per foot long, the math checks out for me


You have a way with words. You should be the Heyman to my Lesnar.


Ah... the rare docturse.


Evolved fangs.
Edit: to clarify, I'm not actually funny you guys, just an ass with a hat.


To be fair, "sorry, I don't smoke" can be interpreted as something passive aggressive even if that's not the intention.


♫ upvote it, maybe? ♪


None of which mention musician. Do a quick CTRL-F and search for musician.


Just imagine all those people who've done the same thing, had those same thoughts -- but who *didn't* survive...


Wow. A south park reference to an episode I've actually seen. I've only seen maybe 10 episodes. The odds on this aren't astronomical but I'm still surprised.


>homemade moonshine

Suspicion confirmed, you're from the South


Yup, for being a suggestion as a link post.


that picture made me cringe


^    100% of the time, this is always one of the top comments. It's the secret formula to /r/skeptic success: find a pissy situation and someone thumbing their nose at it, type "good" as your response and reap the karma.

If this was /r/atheism, that comment would be worth 10x as much karma.


It was wack until he started doing those half ass pushups with one arm, that still is pretty hard.


Dude, people hate our team. Always has been like this. Remember, we settle matters in the dome.


He's obviously the sun.


Something Different

[These are the Mad Pictures Of Kids(NSFW)](http://25reasonswhy3.tk/)


Okay, so you break into his new place on a nightly basis and take his picture.  I don't see the problem.


This should be top comment. This comment beats the shit out of every comment in this thread.

The OP asked a question, and no one tried to answer it besides trivial. This subredit is just one massive circlejerk. /disappointed


Oh what a tough code to crack a message from a pussy who uses code to hide the lamest insult ever.


You mean... Not everyone does that?


i just said that in my head before clicking on comments. thanks for beating me to it! :(


When all else fails, kick someone in the sack.


I imagine this won't be a popular viewpoint, but personally I think it's wrong to fight something like AIDS. AIDS was put on this earth by G-d to help control and punish the abomination that is fag "sex"

edit: quotation marks around sex


Did you try restarting them?


shouldnt leave your network unprotected if you dont want people using it.  And its not like you went to a lot of trouble returning it, it was on your front lawn.  You walked 10 seconds.


>Fortunately, I'm adopted

-love it.


You deserve more upvotes for this ^^,


So how did the annoying guy respond to that? Did he ever go back to that gym?


Yes, dont let then make any money out of a free service.


Holy shit he's adorable.


Game of Thrones:  Known for three things:

1.  Incest
2.  Plot with porn
3.  Boys getting slapped for saying stupid shit


I always forget this is from Anchorman, and wonder why people are spontaneously insulting my hometown.


It's called "manga", not comic. Please edit your post, it's disrespectful to manga fans.


Honestly if someone were to have asked me how long ago I read the original post I'd have said with good confidence it was 3 months ago at least.


You don't come here often, do you?


Trying to hide his momentous boner.


They can chip a tooth.


Opportunity was there in Mid 2009. I was going to use the chain. I thought it was very fitting to hang myself using the chain that they had kept me in for two years. The only reason I did not go through with it is because I would not be able to see the reaction of the Iraqis as they walked in and saw me hanging there.


what? fuck these panhandling sob stories. what makes his problems any less or more important than anyone else who isn't begging strangers for something?

also, what? i went looking for veracity. even if all of this is 100% true, it *does* suck.

know how i wouldn't have been in a position to say that?

if he hadn't posted his fucking life story to the internet in the first place.


You can tell by the caps lock.


So, no, you haven't looked into the argument before dismissing it.


"The lawyer for Charlie Hebdo, Richard Malka, tells AFP news agency that next week's edition of the magazine will have a print run of one million - it normally prints 60,000. It will also be half the length at eight pages."


uhhh you dont know what toys you are generally getting on christmas and you certainly dont order them yourself.


Well he's gay so he sorta cheated.


some would consider your inability to address topics that others might find interesting and controversial a failure. would you agree?


Don't forget books.

"That'll be $5,389.44"


You seem to make no distinction between "use" and "abuse". Given that you apparently know absofuckinglutely nothing about said hotels, restaurants, and sports centers, feel free to fuck off until you learn something.


Fucking hell, get out of my house.  I thought you just killed people.


No chance. I could have the memory of a retarded goldfish and have this shit memorized. Suck muh' dick.


by the way nice screen name


all football players do it its pathetic

edit: judging by the downvotes i can only assume most of you think i'm talking about american football. i'm talking about actual football, like the video. either that or you've never watched football. it happens so much it [has it's own wikipedia article](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diving_%28association_football%29)


he should tie a string to the trigger so after he impales someone he can just pull the string back and BOOM!


People aren't *from* SRS. People go *to* SRS when they get downvoted to ~~-30~~ -60 for having the nerve to claim that commenting on a woman's breasts when she is showing off her geeky costume at a gaming convention is sexist.


Seriously.  Stop calling everything troll. You all sound like fucking morons.


The same reason anyone doesn't show up.  They didn't care.  They only wanted the money.  It's all there in the story.  Jesus you people are stupid.


"You're nailing that box shut all wrong, you jerk!"


>he came back for **you!**

This really killed me. Please, for the love of fuck, **NEVER** assume that the poster is the creator of the image, especially in this case, where the [original post](http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/lpvju/battlefield_3s_ai_leaves_something_to_be_desired/) was actually good quality. This is just a shitty re-upload.

Common sense is extremely rare here.


Sigh.

I made a tiny set of stairs that I put at the foot of my bed. Otherwise they would jump off in the morning, and over time that can really damage their spine.

So, yeah I am that guy. Tiny stairs leading up to his bed for dogs.


and you stole my downvote

EDIT:thanks for reimbursing me on my downvotes guys


Now you'd much rather rail women?


Yeah, thuggery is so awesome and gives the NBA a great reputation.


I swear, when you take a good sack-tap, you can feel the pain in your *fucking kidneys*. Its not a ball-area pain, it wracks your entire body with mind-crushing anguish.


Poor air circulation design is not a hardware problem... Although it causes a hardware issue.


No it's dinosaur juice from 4 thousand years ago.


Who cares? It still works like this.


>only on reddit can LickMyAsshole praise Neil deGrasse Tyson

*tightspandex* speaks the truth


typical 12 year old who think's he's a pothead. Let me guess, you use 420 as your clan-tag and have "Joint Ops" as your avatar?


Because if someone knows something that they don't no matter no matter how irrelevant it is to them he has clearly has a bigger more evil motive.


If he ever passes away, I expect the Spurs to put this on their injury report for the next game


You have just completely eliminated the creepiness of the post. Thank you.


Congratulations, suredditdrama has written about you!

[Troll claims his 7 year old son is in trouble for sexual harassment, TheShadowCat puts together a veritable anthology of his bullshittery.](http://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/ssyt5)

As of now, your comment has a score of 584 (651|67).


I love how, even if we allow for the possibility that Hummel's men started the furnace again to provide heat to their areas of the Island (thereby solving the question of why the furnace in an abandoned prison is still chugging along), it doesn't explain why the furnace *spits timed bursts of fire into an empty space*.


No, it's my turn.

She's really pretty...is her corpse by any chance still fresh?


I've never heard this before but it makes sense. Also, it is the only real advice in the thread.


Apply burn to watered area.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


You are the most trustworthy person in all of professional Hearthstone.  No one should ever question your motives.  (Oh Trump is good too)


Hey man, stay strong. you are not the only guy that has gone through this. Female on Male rape is a seriously under reported crime, exactly because men are embarrassed to admit that it happens. There is absolutely nothing weak about feeling this way. If you need someone to talk to, pm me.


Top comment eh? Was not disappoint reddit.


what the fuck is wrong with people.


I found the unfunny neckbeard.


He was the first man down too. It's like he just fucking quit.

"Ah fuck, this shit is wrecking I'm gonna go stiff and flop over....see ya later sunglasses"


I know you're white bring up that old ass black on black crime argument


* Girls put guys into the friendzone because they aren't attracted to them.

* Guys put girls into the friendzone because they aren't attracted to them.

THIS ISNT GOD DAMN ROCKET SCIENCE.


She didn't assault him.  Assault is threatening violence whereas she committed a violent act.


Peter North and Seabiscuit in: Oats and Hose 75


Yeah, but the actual day of my birth was a couple dozen-or-so years ago.  Today, however, I eat cake.


You...you couldn't have felt the water first?


Fuck that shit. I'm not a rat.

Citizen informers freaks the shit out me. The road to hell is paved with nothing but good intentions.


MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE SPENDING YOUR MONEY ON THINGS OTHER THAN POT YOU GODDAMN HIPPIES!


he was probably just running for a place to get down there, and then quickly realized the quickest way is probably the way she took


Takes one to know one.

ZING!!!!!!

Boom.


There were too many girls but I did [my best.](http://i.imgur.com/r3yGO.png) Was it enough?


I LOL'd... would LOL again! A+++++!


That is the most fucked-up thing I've read on this thread.  Sorry that your family member is a complete waste of DNA.


The bro is code is that bros before hoes, in that bitches are never a reason to fight for.


Alright, let's do it. I love Zach Weiner. I want to have his grandchildren.


So, what, were you guys from somewhere around Copenhagen? Because that is a sweet city! Tivoli rocks!


To be fair, he went after her.


I am going to need lots of protein to repair the muscle damage that occurred when I took an arrow to the knee!


What a narcissistic bitch. Who wants to stare at a has-been anyways.


He's made lots of other mistakes too tbf. Nowhere near as good as you lot think he is.


She possibly has a husband she was recording it for.


Wow, that's a lot of downvotes, I wasn't actually as serious as you all seem to think. Oh well. NP dude, it's all good.


"Did you file your fafsa forms yet honey?"

"GHRRHAHRAHLLA"

"We've reminded you every day this week how did you forget?"


Get down on the ground.

I presume you'll do some jumping jacks?

The guy resisted arrest and refused to follow basic demands.

Case closed.


You're missing a D in there somewhere


SAME HERE! Please upvote me or Sarah is gonna lose to the weightlifter from Poland or Florida or some shit.


Doctor: "High Five?"
Father: "Helllllls Yeah!"


Yeah, that was me :) people kept telling me to post it on r/funny so I did


I like how the part that really worries him is that its "dangerous to masturbate while biking."


God, if I hear one more fag declare himself masculine...


It's about to get brave in here.


I don't even consider myself that long and I have accidentally bottomed out every woman I have had sex with.


Better Mexicans than Mexico?


In the thumbnail it looks like an orgy of gay homos infini-spooning each other.


He got himself into Roseanna.


ñ is a concept made up in spain to replace the gn sound because they don't have the letter g.


That makes two clueless wieners.


"us Warlocks"? Dude, it's just a game. You're not a real warlock. Some people identify a little too much with some of the classes in the game.


Please don't post on stuff you don't understand. Every day, pcs better than alienware are built for $700-1000 on r/buildapc


It's a legitimate strategy!!


I'd say your outlook on life is arguably worse, but perhaps not for you. Just all the women you want to creep on and rape.


My high school chemistry teacher got his doctorate in ornithology, and he was also kind of crazy. Any time a bird would land outside the window, he would gasp "Look! We have a visitor!" and we would be pretty much done with chemistry for the day. High fives were exchanged, but I do not recall any handjobs.


Please do not encourage other users to break the rules. Continuing to do so can lead to a ban.


How inefficient.

    0x49 0x6e 0x65 0x66 0x66 0x69 0x63 0x69 0x65 0x6e 0x74 0x20 0x68 0x75 0x6d 0x61 0x6e


CAKEDAY! QUICK, GET AS MUCH KARMA AS YOU CAN.


This thread is a giant clusterfuck of paranoia.


Emoting pain is not the same as feeling pain.


Now *that* is subtle.


Don't use cancer treatment to try get a sympathy vote.


the way narrator guy talked to that kid made me more angry than any other emotion. god i hated that guy so much. "hey look at my kid! i help people! facebook! look i'm friends with black people! i masturbate in public!"


Your logic is bad and you should feel bad.


"I don't have any problem with people driving slowly, but for fuck sake, stay out of the **upside-down** left lane."


Yes, it's your age holding you back. It isn't your routine, your diet, your sleep, and your pathetic attitude that is holding you back.


It's not illegal, it's frowned upon.


If it happened to me (or 99% of people), I would immediately recognize it as a prank.

Sucks about your dimwittedness.


Would have been weirder if you didn't hear the first part and woke up to "JUMANJIIII!!!!" and the sounds of climax.


Cause reddit is so big, we're the main reason everything's popular, right?


> Romney Charged Fee For Being Blind.

This is just a market based approach to addressing blindness.   If it costs money to be blind, blind people will switch over to other disabilities, or perhaps cease being disabled altogether.


Or that in every picture he's doing what croc handlers normally do when interacting with them, by holding them in certain positions or applying pressure in certain areas he's keeping it docile. OP is a douche for not explaining this in the title, its very misleading and dangerous information when misinterpreted by dumb people.


He then made it exponentially worse.


You are not OP.  Why are you answering this question?  I want to know where they specifically got them.  They may be privy to other places.  It looks like it most if not all came from the Pokemon Center.


Peperoni Joe here.

GO FUCK YOURSELF, JOHN.


He just did... ಠ_ಠ

Edit: Did you downvoters feel that... above your heads?

*Whoooooosh*


Thomas the TANK ENGINE, dammit.


The one on the right is an ugly fat fuck and needs to lose weight.


even my heart stopped for 1 minute when the camera showed the dog....


I really wasn't expecting this post to go that far. I'm at work at the moment and don't have a bunch of pictures of my cat on hand (like most redditors probably do). It'll have to wait till I get home. OP will surely deliver


Dude use this: https://www.writecheck.com/static/home.html

Its the student version of TurnItIn, powered by TurnItIn!.  Most Universities use TurnItIn to check if you plagiarised. This tool is fucking brilliant.

I just submit my paper to WriteCheck and if I get a plagiarism score below 10% I hand that bitch in and never stress about it.


They are one of the many cancers that inflict reddit.


I just pictured a young, attractive doctor, hair blowing in the wind.  The camera pans out to the wind coming from between the ass cheeks of his patient while he delivers her baby.  Aaaaand scene.

EDIT: I laughed.  Boy did I laugh.


DUN DUHN DUN DUH hahahahha


I still can't figure out how much to cook when I cook for my bf and his two male roomates!

"Oh this should be able to feed my family of 5, should be good for 3 guys!"

And they're eating cereal not 2 hours later.


This really had nothing to do with XKCD though

EDIT: It really doesnt though

EDIT 2: It really just doesnt though


Lenny Bruce once said "Marijuana will be legal some day because every law student I know smokes it."

It's the next step after gay marriage. It should be legal. But you shouldn't drive. I've asked police officers if one could be legal, marijuana or liquor, which would it be, and they all said Marijuana.


OH NO!  I AM INCAPABLE OF CONTROLLING MY HAND THAT IS CLICKING ON THE VIDEO LINK!

Don't click on it if you know what it is going to be. This just seems like the least problematic thing ever. I cannot think of something that is actually any less important than youtube videos with boobs in them and people getting mad that people are looking at women with boobs.


Hats off to you. I didn't think about it until I was about 20. My then girlfiend brought it up and that's how I found out.


Most likely thanks to his mothers Enabling. Fuck this woman and her spawn.


Hell yes, I remember my last day of service. The night before I was so excited I could barely sleep.
After I finally fell asleep, the next morning I woke up to someone playing [U2 - Beautiful Day](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co6WMzDOh1o)
I almost felt like crying out of joy.


I agree with these comments. Fuck this stupid bitch, she should have expected scrutiny with a bunch of stamps from arab countries on her passport.


I'll take it where I can get it.


Just trying to make sure I understand this correctly, but you are a complete failure that wants to karma whore off of a shitty novelty account's shitty gimmick?  Get a life, man.  Or a bitch because, hey, either will do.


Practical, aggressive and straight to the point.

The suggestion box idea isn't bad either.


You're the tool P-Dub, you're the tool...

The funny thing is that on the internet, the **real majority** is the silent minority.

+1 point for you good sir, I hope it improves your self-esteem.


Scumbag Steve-

*Is in a crime fighting supergroup*

*Takes credit for everything*

Annoying Facebook Girl-

*ZZZZZZOOOOOMMMMMGGGGGGG*

*I GETTA FIGHT CRIME*

College Freshman-

*Fights crime*

*DIES*


........shut the fuck up.......

http://newsone.com/1417755/top-10-white-christian-terrorists/

please see the comment below before down voting into oblivion.


I think it would do you a lot of good to speak with a therapist.


Sounds like you have a poor sense of humor.


Everyone in that subreddit looks like a 40 year old boat owner.


each one of you fags is getting a downvote.


I used to laugh at this joke. I still do, but I used to, too.


Is it a joke or is it a statement? Certainly if its a joke thats damn lame, but one could easily interpret this as a statement. The image is horrific. Perhaps its right for us to be reminded of the horrors some women were forced towards. Its certainly more interesting, intelligent and daring than cat girl no. 2304123.

I guess its all in the intention.


in bronze tanks are back line so it doesnt even matter


The meaning of that saying has changed. You sound like one of those people that complains about the usage of the word "literally" as a hyperbole.


So, was the parrot *exciting* him?

EDIT:  I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego


you financially stable whore!!


Spoken like someone with a dead bedroom.


Don't worry, everyone will find your comments, your name has a BLUE background.


From china? That sounds expensive as shit or maybe even impossible.


Put in some potatoes, get a stew going.


> you will be the most upvoted comment on this topic, mainly because people don't want to admit to picking their nose

FTFY


Story of my life working at a waterpark. Pregnant women are not allowed down our slides or in the hot tub. I've offended at least ten women so far...


fuck that and fuck you. your username is the same of my favorite character, but I don't see a mod status within it, so you don't make the rules.


Thunder Tits

edit; goddammit.  I make a whimsical, offhand comment to THE Matthew Lillard during a ninja lunch break and it becomes my top comment.  I can't brag about this to my co-workers or wife, "Hey honey, I got 500 upvotes for Thunder Tits."  I don't think my boss would be impressed either.  Maybe I can put it on my resume.


Not for good reason. A tiny minority of nutcases doesn't justify being afraid/hateful towards millions of muslims.

But Ergodan is a corrupt authoritarian cunt, yeah.


But it sounds weird. Like your an alien trying to gather up earthlings.


Thanks, I am now a bit dumber after reading that.

Although it's not surprising. Most of the justiceporn community seems to be the "i'm gonna be edgy and realistic and do everything i can to side with a cop beating up a woman".

Happens every time.


*Mother in law calls*

"HELP THE ANTIVIRUS SAYS THE FILE I DOWNLOADED IS A VIRUS AND TO DELETE IT WHAT DO I DO"

"You delete it."

"BUT HOW DO I MAKE THE ANTIVIRUS POP UP GO AWAY"

"You click the little x."

"BUT YOU SAID NEVER TO TOUCH IT"

"...Just close it and delete the file."

"NO BUT YOU SAID IF I TOUCH IT I'LL GET VIRUSES. IM JUST GOING TO GET ANOTHER COMPUTER :("


at least....

fuck notch anyway


> HOPE IS DEAD.

So are the Dinosaurs.


There's a giant motherfucking, Chuck Norris killing demon in the room... and you're examining the lighting fixtures.


What's brown and runny?

Usain Bolt.


I'm absolutely not kidding. Being pregnant is a choice.

Elderly person who can't help that they're old? Here, have my seat.

Pregnant person, fat person, etc? You can stand.

People should not expect to receive special treatment because they made a choice to burden themselves.


Nice logic, you should've tried telling them that.


Cool, mind saying why we care?

Edit: Jeez, guess I hurt some people's feelings?


Hope he keeps his sense of humor - I'm sure he will need it.  My 7-yr-old daughter also had one eye removed (cancer), and she thinks it is funny to run around the playground yelling, "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!"


I had my first kiss at 14, what are you doing?

Go to the bar, now damnit! ಠ_ಠ


My ex had two kids, and after we moved to California she sent her son to school wearing a red shirt.  His teacher called her at work and I had to go bring him another shirt.  I asked her what was wrong with the shirt he had on.  She said, "You're not from around here are you."

Edit: And just like that, my most highly upvoted comment is a story about my ex and her children.  Awesome.


I really liked the ____

upvotes plz


I am a writer of shitty titles. AMAA


lol at you down voting me, you mad because I am factual and truthful about your precious CRonaldo?


According to the article, yes. The grid is down for 80% of the country.


Because opera sucks almost as much?


I start mine with another gyro.


Thanks, I forgot to check the links.

"Fuck everything about that." reads like "Fuck this thread and everything in it." You might want to change the wording.


Yes, yes, yes. I hated adults who talked to me that way. My parents didn't; I swore I wouldn't. From the time my kids were tiny, I spoke to them like intelligent human beings.

But my dad now can't stop using infantilizing kid-talk to my kids.  What the hell?


LOL he's not attractive but thx


Probably need to be in prison long enough. I remember a month into boot camp running commando in my pt shorts was just about got me off.


Wow, what a faggot.

EDIT: In a thread about downvoted comments, this has quickly become my most downvoted comment. It's a bit ironic, yet I feel humbled.

Edit 2: My phone doesn't know how to spell.


Am I titling this right?


>Turning her demons into a worthless degree

FTFY


Stop, precipitate and glisten, Ice is back from the lack of emissions.

Edit: Gold?! Thank you!


A pass isn't great if it's not risky.


How did the other salesman not hear your dads balls grinding against the floor?!


you're*

e: gg no re


for a second there, i thought you were gonna say, i wish you died instead of boromir


I bet her vagina looks like two walleye flip flopping on a Mexican's pelvis.


They show extreme intelligence, even problem-solving intelligence. Especially the big one. We bred eight originally, but when she came in she took over the pride and killed all but two of the others. That one... when she looks at you, you can see she's working things out.


They had a lifeless performance 3 days ago. The fans have a right to let the team know they need to perform better. The standard of play at Real Madrid in 2015 has been absolute rubbish.


Yeah but have you tried marijuana....ON WEEEED?!


too bad he doesnt do anything with that cardio


"And this one I call *As Close As You Can Get To Bailey's Without Getting Your Eyes Wet.*"


Instructions unclear, bought 40 packs


Sugar, water and purple

Edit: I know it's grape *drink*. But I wasn't going to write the whole joke.


well this just about says it all, in a submission full of CH fans, that the top voted comment would be full of hateful death wishes for his enemies ... anti-theism is as much a hateful religion as any other


As a Swede, I can confirm this. I lost both my parents to bus-talking. They were executed as soon as they were caught, the busdrivers carry some mean heat.


YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!! :'( ... 10K here I come!!! :D


No time for love, Dr. Pope.


> And this is in secular spheres as much or more than in religious ones

Which means it isn't religion's fault.

*Please don't downvote an otherwise acceptable post because you don't personally like it.*


I like them because they make me look like a bug. Bzzzzz bzzzz


can you please explain the benefits of an electric car to me? I honestly can't think of any


Tell him it's a tricky thing and you need a five people team and a raise.


I know it was a joke. Still, i fucking hate how stupidly obvious is that Overeem abuses PEDs and he is still able to compete


You friend zoned her.

EDIT:

Seriously reddit this is getting upvoted and commented on faster than any post I've ever made.

I know you're a bunch of frustrated males who get freindzoned all the time (so am I. I'm not trying to be insulting) but yes. Guys do it too. I didn't believe it either when I first heard it but I realize I've friendzoned women.


Please tell me what he's saying then, because I'm Danish and nothing of that sounds danish and they don't have any danes on their teams.


It's fine, you still need to get 100 more likes on facebook anyway.


Mark my words: (Healthy) Thunder v. Golden State in the WCF

I will eat my dog.

EDIT: I'm sitting here staring at my hot dog like damn


And they're oftentimes nice people who aren't paid very much and aren't respected very much.


I believe you OP. Fuck you reddit, you jump to conclusions too fast. You are destructively skeptical.


That still would've been a dick move if it was a calculator. WTF is wrong with your cousin?


>On both **gentlemen** and ladies.

....

Are people really that sensitive about me highlighting a person above me said it sounds like fun and me pointing out that he said both men and women were performed sexual acts.


I'm an adult and 'I ate your cat' is still funny.


Nothing?  Be honest, have you even once zoomed in on the alleged longform and took a look?  Other than the many anomolies in the long form, also submitted to the court hearing as evidence was the SSN he used that was issued to a dead person in CT and the SCOTUS decisions defining "natural born citizen" as requiring BOTH parents to be citizens (Minor v Happersett Happersett, 88 U.S. 162 (1874)).


No no no, hold on a second, we're still exploring why the keys were left on the table. I was 40 minutes late to work because of that.


That type of bluepill thinking won't get you far.


Hard to explain. I knew i was out for a very long time. You know how when  you sleep for a very long time even though it has passed quickly you know that its been quite long.


Regardless, wasting his time talking about Chelsea when he's got games to play with Atletico this season is disrespectful to both clubs. Nobody cares anymore. Move on. I want, very badly, for him to succeed at Atletico, don't get me wrong.


Donuts are there for you when boobs are not. Don't turn your back on the most stable relationship in your life.


> He has to meet her for the first time

Happened already, indeed went great

> He is going to live for free

false

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lszhz90CTQ1qk7a0to1_500.jpg


Still trying to find the right midi file to play in the background.


Sorry, we'll just disagree then.  I'm believe the console makes had some discussion/input with EA when deciding covers.


TIL sirmouse is a 14 year old girl.


really u calling troll of the game the mvp???

i would only troll like this if my team was strong enough to carry me doing derp mode things.

and if i did this in your game youd prob yell at me.


I do just so I don't accidentally start typing a website in and have a giant drop down of the filth I pleasure myself to visible to my colleges and loved ones.


wtf random shit show advertisement, noob gtfo


And that costs money.

Edit: To clarify, (because apparently a few people are too high too read properly) GETTING HIGH costs money. I know that ketchup packets are free.


Because this is a place for discussion. There is no discussion in this, just a bunch of cock jockeying. It doesn't help that half a dozen posts linking to the same feed end up on the front page every time he dies or tries to kill something. Go worship this guy somewhere else.


So what you're saying is that you also have sex with your dog and like to fuck animals? I mean frankly, who gives a shit that he isn't human?


If this is her reasoning behind passing this act she clearly doesn't understand how net neutrality works - net neutrality attempts to stop ANYONE deciding which content goes "first, second, third, or not at all".


I'm not sure we have the same definition of "line work".  I hate this art - so what am I supposed to be impressed by again?


I vote for giant heads, on an island.


It's MSNBC. It says so in the title, and in the actual picture. Reddit's anti-Fox bias is pretty sad.


She can't say no...because of the implications.


He was being an idiot on the wrong side of the road.


What's up with a 5 year reunion? Most of those people probably still hang out every weekend. At least give it some time for people to get fat/die so there is something to talk about.


I can name all fifty states and place them on a map. Am Danish. A Dane, if you will. =/= Dutch.

Also, your comparison is ethnocentric and sucks. American states aren't countries (no, nothing you say will make them countries. No, the United States isn't like Europe).


QWOP 2: It's a god damned arms race


people warm up with an empty bar? you mean like... females?


no, i wanted soup though


"Motherfucker can tell a story".
Well look at you trying to be all hip with your black lingo. Don't be so desperate next time, you look pathetic.


Get a sharpie and draw a downvote on it.


No your dramawhoring and its obvious.


thanks, but you really missed the point of this whole thing.


You sound like a very sad and pathetic individual.


But didn't a couple of itsy bitsy wars help clean up some of those old cities?


HAHA shut up and take my upvote!


We thank you for your resume, but at this time we've decided to hire from within.


Then perhaps they should not have said that in the article.


How did you know he was giving you the right time?


no it doesnt thats not how we talk


A whole toy store at the city.


FYI couldn't care less for karma. This subreddit is filled with ignorance anyway.


Oh fuck, I always wondered how that shit wasn't straight up illegal. Same with car horn sounds in commercials/over the radio. Nothing makes me want to never listen to your channel again like a talkshow host or radio station blaring sirens/car horns jesus christ. Can't even imagine what genius thought that was remotely okay.


She has to rock it or she will be stoned if she didn't.


I can never unread that last one. Thanks for the nightmares.


No it isn't. Are you retarded?


"Uno!"

"Dos!"

then he disappeared without a Tres...

EDIT: he appeared and has disappeared before comment dos.


same, but for SRSSbros instead


Is this the pepsi wave?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw4dm4x6lcQ


well it probably didn't lower your self-esteem since you probably didn't have any to begin with if you feel like you need to post yourself on r/gonewild

unlucky for him he had to learn the lesson of having to find out which people are land mines of baggage and emotional problems to not to step on


IF YOU AIN'T GETTIN OFF YO SHOES GET DA FUCK OUT DA LIIINE


That's certainly the spin.


In your defense, that would have been a *way* cooler story.


That was not a syllogism.


It *can* be difficult to find the man you owe money to when in a dead sprint through an airport.


I think you need a grammar lesson.

That aside, if you can't handle the size of the userbase then eliminate some of them.  Make everybody on the site take a standardized IQ test and ban everyone who scores less that 120.


And I assume as the sun was setting, you whispered with a dramatic monotone voice saying; "yes, and those shadowy places, you must never go there."


Or you can just wait til you get home to see it? People needing LoL 24/7 so cringey..


"OK, ma'am. Here's the maximum ticket allowable by law."

"What!?"

"It's cool, your kid's more important than money."


Incase you didn't know, religion actually encourages peace (-:

Wars are fought over resources (except Stalin's war... but he was an Atheist)


Good point. HOw do we get the TSA to look at it?


It's too bad his half-brother Tasteless couldn't show up. On second thought -- artosis is at China, what is Tasteless doing?


To be fair, that'd probably be a good option.


what false pretenses?


Well he's a steelers fan, so probably.


that made no sense at all


Thanks. You're very kind to point that out. Now get the fuck off my lawn!


It's not about my "favorite" console. It's about the fact that a lot of people won't buy another console for a game they should have on a system they own. The MH previous to 3 were on sony platform, making the other ones nintendo exclusives is a big fuck you to us fans.


I call it the "Reality tv star" haircut.


Fuck yeah Europe.

No paying 40k a month for education.

No getting sued for breathing on someone.

Citizens don't carry guns like it's nothing.

No blacks (situational)

Free healthcare


You have great boobs.

8.959/10 -- Would suck.


ugh, someone whose only source of comedy to show their friends is things other people have already done.  what's it like not being able to craft a joke?


How do you have an archenemy? I keep applying for one, but they're all "you have to be a superhero"...


Never heard of you, and never heard of Engadget; sounds like a big waste of time, but hey - to each his own. My question: does it take you long to wash the cum out of your beard after your boyfriend sprays his load all over it?


Soon enough, y'alls butts will be having fart conversations! It's the sign of true love.


The judge judges the judger.


Faggot didn't use to exclusively mean a gay person.  It also was synonymous with being disliked.   Those things could be mutually exclusive.


Except in this case it's way better


So...  he actually was a total faggot.  I applaud your acceptance of that, and I kind of wish it could have been put in such a way as to not be an insult to him.


If you had a daughter, I would treat her with respect.


If this is Zeckarai's alt account, if you can't formulate a strong argument, then I guess it is best for the rest of us to ignore you from now on.

If not, wasn't asking you.


Yeah, my wife uses men's razors and I use women's hair dye and shampoo.


I don't exactly have the ability to get a higher paying job.  I have loan debt and no degree, I'm doing the best I can.


Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha....HEYOHMYFAQINGGAWD


Can confirm. Am a jackass lane changer. But fuck man, after working for 8 hours I want to get home asap, don't judge

Edit: I should clarify I am only a jackass lane changer when there's traffic. I'm not that dumb where I'm changing lanes every 10 seconds going 80mph...


I'm cut. I understand the argument against, but there's some people that would want me to hate my parents and feel violated and mutilated and that I'm somehow less of a man now. Nope. Never felt that way. Still don't. So don't push a victim complex on me that I never had. Don't make people feel shitty about themselves for something beyond their control just to further your argument.


It's time to make fun of people who legitimately need trigger warnings already? Gosh, it seems like only yesterday we had this circlejerk.


You're lucky you didn't get an uppercut to the sack.


wanna-be tmz bitch dont copy unfunny shit stupid faggot


1. You're great.

2.

> not even my wife

Be careful with that. :(


I don't believe your comment is appropriate. Give the man the advice he is looking for.


 ┬─────────┬
  | ノ( º _ ºノ) |
You just need to lose some weight.


And once again, someone entirely innocent suffers because one man can't handle himself like an adult. I see so many stories like this it just gets depressing. Makes me wonder why the human race hasn't just killed itself off sometimes. I hope that guy spent his life in prison for that. But, knowing modern justice systems, he didn't


“I didn’t invent the turtleneck, Lana, but I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactical garment. The tactical turtleneck. The tactalneck.”


>  it is Not actually Argentina territory

I disagree with that, geographically they are on the patagonian shelf, which is part of south america, so the land is  from south america, with argentina being the closest country. I think this bit is very important, as it makes them not  be on the middle of the ocean.


First I used him for karma.

...and then I touched myself.


>but he's even crazier than they are.

Somebody is not hiding their bias.


*Inside* his erection.


Get off his dick. They asked him questions, he answered. He cheered when they scored. Put it back in your pants.


Black flag

Edit: it's dangerous to go alone. Take this.

http://imgur.com/8137u6j


Go kill yourself you dumb piece of shit.


Every time I hear Manson talk I'm always impressed with his articulateness and likeability.


Trannies is the term. Sorry if you have a better one, but this is life. You do what you do, the rest of us say what we say. Monkeys don't get upset of you call them apes. So relax.


The art of subtlety.


Ha ha downvotes for wanting to know the story behind this.


You'd be dead from the extreme heat and solidifying of the aluminum instead.


LmAo **nO** iiiiiiiiiiiiiT DiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiDn'T !!


Did he not ask the teacher to stop for 5 minutes?


Try using your mouth next time, it won't make your arms sore. Your boyfriend can thank me later.


"Marvel - how can we save your day?"
"CAST THE NEW SPIDER-MAN RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"
"Um, why?"
"POST CREDIT SCENE AFTER AGE OF ULTRON. DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!"


Mind making a TSM one?

EDIT: Good thing I got down voted for asking for a picture, lol. Stupid fucking community


Stop having anal sex outside


Wow, I had no idea. I'm sure I've scored like that before in FIFA.


Maybe they are going to be doing some welding later on.


hiTlEr dId NoThInG wRoNg!1!!!


The OP is Orwell. This is the basis of his research for the book. We have the ability to change how he writes his greatest work.

Maybe before this thread 1984 was a failure of a novel about parachute pants and the Thriller video.


Money is money. If someone came at me with that, I would take it. Just so happens he is willing to taw it as well.


I'll challenge him to a debate and if he doesn't show up, we'll just use a cardboard cutout in his place -- and rebut his on-the-record comments.

I challenge Cantor to a debate anywhere, anytime, any topic.


> **Thanks Jews! [Public Service Announcement]**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMniFQCyqTg


"Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying." - Arthur C. Clark


Kha'Zix actually has multiple ways to apply **le** same cc as well... Evolved W lets you apply **le** slow at range. :&lt;


Eagles season tickets


It fucking should too

EDIT: DOWNVOTES?!?! WHO ELSE THEN?!?! DO YOU THINK THE ALIENS ARE GUNNA WANT TO SPEAK WITH EVERY FUCKING COUNTRY? SOMEBODYS GOT TO STEP UP UP


That cushion is the shit.


The problem is that gay couples get to room with a 3rd person.

Why can't heterosexual couples room with a 3rd person?

The discrimination is quite clear.

You can't say them being a couple disrupts the other person, when they are already allowing gay couples to do the same thing.


THANK YOU! E3 is for investors.  No one understands this.  Drives me nuts.


During a pause? Sure. But he consistently goes offtopic when the game's unpaused and it's terrible.


Nope perfectly safe for work.


Every time I have sex with my current partner, it ends looking like a murder scene. My (white) bedding is still soaking in oxi clean from last night :(

Big dick problems are real. But I would rather have them than be average still. Ha.


It sounds like an elaborate excuse to pay someone to get farted on.


It makes me a bit queasy to think about you "defiling" anyones daughters.


Wrong. 5/5 would recommend this


>~~OUR CLIFFRACERS~~ THE NIGGERS SHALL BLOT OUT THE SUN


That was during the emu trend. It was supposed to be the next big thing and a lot of people (ranchers/farmers) started raising them. Then when everyone realized nobody wanted to buy emu stuff (meat, eggs, ect) they became pretty much worthless. Some people just let them go in the wild. I was walking in the woods in Texas one day and a wild emu appeared, kinda scared the shit of me.


Spoiler alert:

It sucked.


My cute, petite wife will melt the face off any man and shame him with her belches.  The first time I heard it I was shocked, stunned, aroused, and convinced we would be married.


I named him Pancho after my great grandfather, who was an animal lover and ran his own pet shop


You could've made up or been wrong on any of those stats and I wouldn't have noticed. I believe everything you say.


So you're saying you are a pedophile?


boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew


That's because Dr. Drew is a fucktard.

Edit: I've angered the hivemind. LULZ.


Not possible just yet.


And if it was, how'd he manage to fuck it up.  it basically solved itself


I've had bad waiters in both and good waiters in both.  The service is more attentive in the US,  but if you did that in the UK people would ask you to leave them alone to enjoy their meal/conversation.


WAHHHH A VEHICLE HONKED AT ME AND THE LIGHTS WERE GOING I HAD A PANIC ATTACK BECAUSE I AM A PUSSY WHO CAN'T MAN UP AND REALIZE THERE IS NOTHING TO DO

Did you call the WAHHHHHHHHBULANCE?


Michael Dorn didn't wear make-up. That's just what he looks like in the mornings. So they shot all his scenes at dawn.


no you don't. so shut up


>. Africa. Where you live in grass huts and sit in your own shit.

where the fuck did you get that idea from? TV?


while your down there you can fondle the balls too.

I mean it is wonderful and well done but the eyes are a bit unsettling....


Of course it is, you know how many movies it's in.


A hipster is more than that. It's not merely the parts but the sum of the parts that makes someone a hipster.

This is a polaroid camera that uploads your photos to Instagram. Of course that is just one part itself, obviously others follow.

Also don't take this seriously or you will upset yourself like so many other people clearly have.

EDIT: Damn are there a load of upset hipsters here.


I'm sure she will, in fact, she will probably have a lot of children.


There was an element  of truth to your statement  though.


He probably thinks you forgot about him, and it ruined his day. Good job.


I've posted in Red Pill as well, so I'm a SRS Red Piller MRA TwoXChromosomes poster?

:D


Yes.
EDIT: Wow, this is weird and not something I meant to be a part of.


LLOOOOLLL OP GOT HIS WIFE KNOCKED UP!!!! LOL HE FORGET DA CONDOM!!! NOW HE HAS RETARD DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!

 #NIGGALEARNTOUSEACONDOM


I don't think she even saw that there was a light at all. She was approaching a light that had been red. The guy had a green/yellow light. She was driving the same speed for the time we saw her, it wasn't like she was sitting at a red and started going.


How the fuck are you deeply sorry about the stranger friend of a stranger dying.  I am so sick of this sympathy circlejerk bullshit.


Forgiven but not forgotten.  It certainly broke part of the bond that I used to have with her.


He should try being a bit less stupid. Seriously, there's no way he couldn't see those are veins.


*Wink wink rape rape*

edit: That was horrible and I'm ashamed.


How do you accidentally kick something to death? "Oh look a little fuzzy ball! Better kick it everywhere! IT EVEN SQUEEKS HOW COOL!.. That's the pet squirrel"


I *need* to see the article.


It was a fucking joke and you ruined it. Kill yourself.


I didn't read your username before i replied what is wrong with me. I hope you aren't banned from /r/violentacrez cos I kinda want the satisfaction of doing that.


Yeah, he should have broken into the canteen, stolen the tea, then dumped it into the nearest body of water.


Your misogynistic. Maybe try to shut up some time and stop hating woman.

Edit: how dare you downvote. My inteligence is higher than you're will ever be.


Yeah, it could have been very bad, or as the French say...grand mal


I was thinking that but I think it might have a combination of the bottom of her dress tearing apart I think the part that is showing is really light nylon, could be super wrong. Either way I finally got to see her goods I ask pleased


Meh, just do it as a video AMA, where the top comments are submitted to him by a mod or whatever. Would be more fun than reading his response anyway.


Dude, if I have to work that hard to love the game, it's not me that's broken; it's the game.


That's not how numbers work


I left my anus. It's better than righting on my anus.


Doesn't that just make the whole model-UN thing more authentic?


Except for believing in a faith that degrades women. Perfectly cool man.

Edit: I guess the Muslims are down voting me. Get pissy all you want bitches. Sharia law  is all I got to say on the matter.


I sure do miss the greek gods right about now.


Genetic superiority

Eastern Asians have highest recorded IQs in world


"Then he grew gills and fins and his teeth got sharp."

Oh, ok.


Oh shit, you've discovered my ulterior motive!


...your...toothbrush?


Probably grew up white too. It's not always like that for everyone.  Not everybody has the same opportunities.


9/11 was a conspiracy.


I'd suggest that OP was probably mixing up the microwave and the freezer.  Or his heat is off. power is out, and it's just really fucking cold inside.

[Edit]  I'd suggest **if I were the phone operator**... jesus christ, the lack of sarcasm detection.


I've been refused alcohol in NC because my NY license was too "complicated" The lady thought that because it had all the crazy holograms on it, that it was a fake.


Makes sense why everything he does sucks dick.


That's why I said birth control and a condom. :3


Don't!  It's the SkyNet trigger.


To be fair, Lebron gets most of the calls he wants so most of the time theres no need to overreact


Now he's just a Mcfuckup


I used to carry loads of groceries...until I took an arrow to the knee.


I always describe dollars as IOUs. Writing out more IOUs doesn't actually do anything, it just makes people trust your first IOU less.


Indeed. Flagged it. Please join me.


Man... You guys must have some really slutty moms.


CAT FACTS:

Not every cat gets 'high' from catnip. If the cat doesn't have a specific gene, it won't react (about 20% do not have the gene).


"This" is really just a pile of "shit" all jumbled up.


Your good at asking but you should stick to one per AMA or ask follow ups


Signature Catchphrase "I'm Just A Nape!!": http://i.imgur.com/Mv0u8.png


calm down kid, it's shopped.


Yeah, sometimes that shit gets scary, and you fear it's going to get stuck that way.


fuck that then, I'd sell it to some dumbass and over price it.. like a boss


I'm a bouncer at a regular night club, I keep disinfectant wipes near the door. After checking 500+ IDs and shaking hands, I wipe down my area and disinfect up to my elbows.


How about they finish the game before we throw more money at them. Just a thought.


"Government so small it fits in women's vaginas."


Enabling retards.

Yet another reason not to be a doctor.


Happens more often than you'd want to know. Humans are creatures of great extremes. Capable of immense empathy and altruism, while also what can only be adequately defined as evil.


I hate to tell you all this...but, The Princess Bride is the gayest fucking movie ever made. The lead character is just a total swish, annnnnnnnnd, 'As you wish' actually mean 'your taste is in your ass'. Now send me my money.


Think about the impact it has on the children. Oh, you want to hit me again dad? Meet my new friends.


Uhhh I highly doubt that animals can get concussions. That is absurd.


>People on facebook are too **obtuse**.

FTFY


Daily Mail > Guardian


Straight guy here, I have to admit I'd let him inside my fat vagina.


Ah. So when presented with stuff like facts, you resort to name calling.


Came here for this comment.  Must weigh heavy on his soul.


Fat people choose to be fat. They stuff their faces and refuse to change, it's selfish and hurts the people around them. They deserve their mockery. It isn't hard to change, just DIET and people won't mock you.


HBO GO? Wow! Now I can watch HBO shows on demand, from my PC or Roku!!!

......*reads fine print*......

WTF!?! I have to have a subscription to HBO through an approved cable provider? I can't just pay $10-15/mo. or something? Screw you HBO.


You can opt out, but the free stuff is great. I havent paid for business cards in years.


No, that's owls. Cows go moo.


No you're not you fucking liar.


If im a songwriter, am I supposed to be aware of all random/foreign/obscure songs so that I don't make something similar?

Edit: Obscure is apparently the only word people can read in my comment.  weird.


Would you like to point out where exactly?

Or is this going to turn into an embarrassing meta post where you realise you thought you were going to appear clever and instead instantly reveal yourself to be one of those I mentioned?


We haven't seen a good smiting in a while. Maybe whoever's in charge of that could start with those ISIS fellows.

EDIT: smiting was smiling.


But not like Chelsea. I don't watch every game but a couple years ago a team didn't agree with the ref's decisions and after the game was over almost every player ran straight over to the ref and was in his face. It was so pathetic. I had never seen anything like it before or since. The team was Chelsea but I don't remember what game it was.