No dude Im a fucking pokemon master every region he explores is like 3 fucking months. Thats why he's still looks young. Know your fucking facts. And again there is lots of episodes of a particular region which makes him seem old but hes not.


Is it somehow mean/bad for me to say that I alway am happy when I hear about this kind of story, because I always hope it ends up that the parents choose to open their eyes and minds instead of being the kind of jerks who disown their kids?


>Three worthless **cunts** & Donatello

Yes. Yes, it is.

EDIT: Wow, bad reaction to what I said! Ha! To clarify: "cunt" is probably the most vulgar word you can use here in the UK. Many people can get very offended here (for example, I can say any word I like around my mum except "cunt"), and that's what makes it NSFW.


So why do Japs still complain about it? Or is it just the wannabe activists looking for a cause?


I was walking my friend home after my birthday party, when he approached us and asked us to come see his puppies.  There were no puppies, but it was too late then


I feel bad for any faggot who sees this picture and actually recognizes this character as a 'lich king'. I can only imagine how little pussy you guys get when your life goal is to reach level 60. It's truly a bit pathetic.


Trebek takes a lot of heat for being sort of smug and starchy on camera, but that's just for TV.  In person he is sort of a nut, always doing goofy jokes and accents and little bits of soft-shoe and stuff.  He's like your good-natured, slightly-losing-it grandpa.


Then you haven't seen how this subreddit works.

edit: -7 within 10 minutes. Next people coming will simply downvote me due to fact I'm downvoted already. Even though I just got downvoted I proved my point. This subreddit tends to downvote you at decent speed.

Now upvote till i reach 0 again.


Yeah but that could apply to anyone.

How's about: Who does a white supremacist pray to?


So it's discrimination because they were asked if they have ever been racialized? They were asked a question, if they said yes.. this wouldn't even be news.

Edit: I'm not here to argue, I said my piece. I feel like i can copy & paste my previous replies to your arguments.. so I'm done here.


Maybe it's just me, but I would rather have fallout 4 than half life 3.


is it really spam if it gets many upvotes?


are you from the past


Wtf, this isn't /r/gonewild. Take that creepy shit somewhere else.

EDIT: This isn't creepy?

>I wish I could have you spread my cheeks!

You ought to be able to ask for advice in /r/sex without comments like that.


That one intern who got called out on reddit.


This is dangerously close to child pornography…correct me if I'm wrong


Anyone who funds free mail-order books for kids is a seriously cool woman and deserving of respect and admiration.

I'd bet money her whole "Dolly" persona is simply that; an outward persona. She's probably left plenty of ignorant idiots in the dust who failed to recognize her acumen...

Post Edit: **/u/Marajane corrected me on the funding issue and thanks to her for doing so!**


Really? When people are so desperate for attention they wear.. that.. I make a point of not giving them attention at all. That's just unattractive for me.


Served him right.  He didn't believe in dog and sold his soul to Santa.


Thanks my man. Have a great day yourself


I watched this movie with my dad, who is a physicist, who went, "WTF IS THIS SHIT? HES JUST SPITTING OUT RANDOM LONG WORDS!"


Then just upvote it. No need to write "LOL!"


Well, that got dark quick.


I assume you are female. Which is funny, imagine if you where a guy and had started crying about this and this guy would have given you a keychain with a starfish! :)

But yea, seriously, totally unprofessional, you sound like a little girl who was in way over her head...


> Dear diary,
> 8 months ago I thought I had taken care of a second "little problem", but it does not seem like it worked.


lol youre such a naive and ignorant little shit


Next time roll it into a tube slightly smaller in diameter than the envelope. Push down to fold. You now have a perfectly folded, envelope ready paper.


Title was more to draw you in, obviously this looks better.  And the title worked apparently.  You looked.  I don't care if you upvoted.  You saw it.


Or because I was sitting down


You will be downvoted, but only because your joke was too easy.  Sorry.


Tangled was way better than Frozen, hands down.


Can you imagine the PC (Political correctness) backlash?  Ha!


what the... you just blew my mind a little bit.


You jelly? I'm sure your ass is quite huge.


And it would randomly tell you you got it wrong, even when you didn't.


i stand by my previous "ya'll are straight idiots"
and once again, nice rebuttal.


Meanwhile Kenneth becomes king of New York thanks to the skills he picked up fending off Hill People raids back in Stone Mountain.


That's irrelevant to the point.  It shouldn't be hard for a guy who is paid very good money to evaluate college players (*cough* in some case by agents) to figure out which current Juniors are going to make an impact in the next draft.


Ive worn a diaper to a wedding.


Aubameyang tried hard to mess it up but it's all good, also is he copying Neymar's looks or the other way around.


Well more accurately the penis is a male clitoris. We all start as female in the womb.


>Damn, you're hot as fuck

Fixed that for you.

Next time type properly if you don't want to be corrected :)


And ask him to name his strengths and weaknesses.


**BEST THING FOR GETTING OVER RAPE IS EXPOSURE THERAPY.  AFTER A WHILE, THEY VICTIMS DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT THE "RAPE" PART OF IT AND START ENJOYING THEIR LIVES.  MANY WOMEN GO ON TO BE SUCCESFULL WORKING IN THE SEX TRADE (GOOD MONEY), THE SEX TOY TRADE, OR THE PHOTOGRAPHY/FILM TRADE (AGAIN, CAN MAKE GREAT MONEY).  DONT GIVE UP HOPE.  IF YOU STOP HATING ON SEX, YOU CAN ACTUALLY ENJOY IT.**


HALT:  you are likely to make bad decisions if your are:

Hungry

Angry

Lonely   or

Tired


the guy that said "move on" got 88 downvotes :(


Wow, that guy is both very unlucky and lucky. Makes you think about all the people in prison now because they weren't so lucky.


you should perhaps read some chomsky and then maybe open your eyes. The police have become increasingly militarized since 9/11 and continue to get worse. Just because its better here than elsewhere doesn't mean shit is peachy keen. Pull you head out of your bong and educate yourself.


I didn't even know they were Catholic!


one of the worst shows of the 90s

edit- downvoted for opinion, I see.

Typical r/atheism circlejerk.


damn bro that's some crazy tat.


It's China. Can't they just force all of them to be homosexual. Dress up half the men in women's clothing, and conscript the other half to be "husbands". Problem solved.


Are you a fish named introvertigo?


No-one cares about total count. 100 bronze < 1 silver

Edit: Damn I'm swimming in butthurt american loss. Keep the downvotes coming for all I care, I have karma for days.


I was not aware I could choose more than one season.


How is it easier? If you are deaf maybe.


HE DID IT. HOLY FUCK HE DID IT.


I understand the point you are trying to make, but can you please avoid violating rule 1 while doing so. Thanks.


Trust me, I'm not a quarter as interesting as double dick dude.


Yeah but it is in EU


Must be a nigger monkey with an IQ of 10, I mean who else cannot understand this simple theory?


I didn't even text back. Deleted the number. I was 22, I wasn't going to play stupid little girl games.


That kid grew up to be Neil Patrick Harris. That's why he's so legen... wait for it...

[Edit] ...dary!


"Totally called it though."

That's the spirit.


Why else do you think he linked it?

Sounds like he is a passive-aggressive asshole and his wife probably had enough of his bullshit.

That's pretty evident in the way that he is now bragging about how great he is for sucking up to her after she fucked around on him.


He does seem like a great guy, but he's not so round anymore.  He got in great shape to be Starlord.


The nature of the cringe for me was the moment they both freak out when they realize what happened. There's definitely a moment where I laughed, but then it got uncomfortable so fast....


Keanu will die, and the movie will be about the dog's quest for revenge


I don't think you know what that means. Because that's not even close to how it should be used you fucking idiot


"Guilty"

"Guilty"

"Guilty"

"Not guilty"

<11 hulks rage out>


FTFY: I haven't really been following the gaming much.
edit: 90 downvotes, that's fucking epic


Uh oh.  [They dun goofed](http://i51.tinypic.com/o77vkm.jpg).


Probably an apt summation, my good friend. :)


*Nobody gropes my wife without buying a ticket.*


It is a blatant attempt to offend and humiliate Muslims. Or more correctly, the creators Islamophobic idea of what Muslims are.


He's so hot right now


yeah lmao that's a great punchline i wasn't expecting a foul pole to be obstructing the view XD so dry and witty


STFU 3 Ninjas is still awesome.


Okay just let me just get my emergency glowsticks and bubbles for whenever I need to deal with a butthurt dweller.


Saw the same thing. He finished his steak. Then proceeded to eat *her* steak and looked like the happiest man in the world.

 Totally understandable.

Edit: grammar


Shucks, I hope no one up votes this comment i'm making right here. It'd be a shame if I were to get any of that delicious, sweet karma.


Here you go!
http://i.imgur.com/0ElitX1.jpg


Yeah and you can't take a joke, bro. Get off Reddit and go do some real life stuff for once. How much can you even lift?


>  does a little toot

Is that where you fart into a paper bag and huff it?


P.s. make something like this for your girlfriend and see how faggie you think I am.


The world just doesn't have enough sympathy blow jobs


Who advertises the fact that they have a squier?
Edit: U MAD?


She doesn't seem to mind


No, actually I confronted her about it twice, she admitted to having feelings for me and we came really close to dating (both times). Then, my roommate who I've known for 12 years and her started hanging out and within a month they were dating.

Don't be a dick.


Nice try, Government clean up agent.


Oh absolutely not. However, the fact that you bring that up means you at least understand the point I'm trying to get across.


what the fuck

your friends are okay with you being a wizard?

i'd burn your magical ass at the stake

fuck you


my orphanage has computers set up


Exactly. Just because you don't believe in something your parents do, that doesn't give you the right to barge in and be an asshole.

EDIT: Never expected this to be so violently fragmenting


If they want to claim that face, they can take it.  It's one of the least funny faces.  I like faces that are drawn in MS Paint, not pictures that are vectorized in Illustrator.


I fought the law and...the law accommodated me?


How is it the most fun? I have one and outside of local multiplayer, it seems to fail at everything. The pro controller isn't very good either. I don't see any reason to buy a third party game for it over other, better platforms. It just seems like a failure that embraces itself.


No, I actually think that the world is better with access to internet. It opens up so many posibilities!


Yeah, and oblahblah finally came out of the closet with his support of gay marriage.

What a flip-flop!

Face the facts: barry is a shithead liar and Romney is all we have left to vote for.

The country is fucked with 4 more years of the Affirmative Action president.


Yes, get that opening filled.


Alright, you've earned your white knight status. You can change your username to SirFancyMcFancePants now.


Let's start a fundraiser and get him 600k!


Unna bro we all knpw he is a strong af beast of a dude he didnt need to do that lol


And guy 4 should show up dressed like a cop because you like sexy police officers. Guy 5 should be hiding in the bushes videotaping the whole ordeal because you have a thing for voyeurism.


"Hahaha. It's funny because that man physically assaulted that girl by punching her in the face through a stack of magazine causing her to fall down and possibly injuring her! Hilarious!"

What the bloody hell is *wrong* with you people...


The secret to happiness in life is to always be yourself, unless you can be Batman. Always be Batman.


AND IF YOU ACT NOW WE WILL THROW IN AN EXTRA FUS FOR YOUR ROH DAH. WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!


Yeah, Ron Swanson doesn't seem like a stretch for Nick Offerman.


Don't think I'm joking just because you're so brainwashed that you can't see anything other than the stories that have been spoon fed to you every day since you were born.

Keep pledging your allegiance to the corporations, like I said, hope it helps you out when they flip the switch.


The gym teacher I'm sure


wow I'm so cool and edgy with my hipster-racism™.

You're pathetic. SRS has been notified.


my biggest fantasy is fantasy correspondence, so..... sup


I have upvoted you *sir*, and I have commented to say that I did so, and that, further, **I lol'd**.


The house is clearly running out of bullshit. They are just getting a refill.


Sorry, after the whole Jesse Slaughter case I am over protective of girls posting their pictures on sites that are visited by a million unique visitors every single day.


Brave man to take the hit for him.


"Oooooooooohhhh burn OP!"


You're from high school?


I treat fucking your mother as a supplement but it doesn't make me any less retarded.


You're not wrong.  He tried to blame Pharrell for the whole thing.  Guess they won't be working together again anytime soon :D


He actually got it cut off in a duel


What brand hard-drive sounds like *hhmmmvvrrr shhshshsh rrrrvvvv* as it boots up?


What was the point of her being in there? She was out of place and it was annoying to have her the entire time. It would have been one thing for her to pop in but to stand there awkwardly was not tasteful for this episode.


Still a better story than Destiny.


And you sound like a fag.


I fear the quote which has been reposted 10,000 times.
- Albert Einstein


"Wow does my dick really look that small?"


More pathetic than impressive I'd say.

If you consider the fact that the height of this project will be lived in the next 24 hours via casual intrigue from a small handful of nerds, the dedicated soul of the creator will whisper away into an all too familiar realm of faggotry.


America has already introduced warheads to most countries. Just not the edible type.


In that case, [OP is the cancer destroying reddit.](http://static4.fjcdn.com/comments/+_d8c0860821d356d004f0c3309310f8f1.jpg)


...Where's the problem here?


see that's what I thought.  But several people inboxed me and said i should make a post about it "so more people could see it."


Mine was actually a little basement, actually. Hehehehe.


nice try, just_another_faggot


I think the real question is "how can reddit turn this into 'He's killing eSports?'" thread.


Better make that 10 minutes count.


.backwards posts write just I, humor at attempt an really not


Cus I totally knew that. You cunts are very sensitive.


Wow, this is the lowest gold-to-upvote ratio I've seen yet.

EDIT: OK, I get it. People have had lower gilded comments.


I wanted to Rustle some Jimmies.


i'm here forever and ever... you don't scare me reddit.com


Guitar blues will always be "timeless" because it's been the same thing for decades. It's a zombie genre, absent of innovation, propped up by people continually imitating the same thing.


Ridiculously Paintable Guy


Sadly, I've seen new people do this on stream.


You put moms first, then you were thinking it still sounded kind of hot.


Ahh yes I see now....silly me


lol it's just filtered water dude. I got a guy that gives me a deal.


This comment should have 1,000 upvotes. Wonderful post, good sir.


You had me a delivering KFC. That's hot.


No, dude you took it too far...&#3232;\_&#3232;


>he got so heated

Probably due to all that cellphone radiation right?


I'm so confused? I just saw this? And the kid's head bounces like a quarter machine bouncey ball? Did it not hurt the first bump? Are we in the matrix? I'm laying down now...


It's almost like they're a part of someone's body! *shudder*


Who is going to do this?


I really like how you said he was wrong but not in a condescending or shitty way.  Made your comment seem less like it came from the Internet.


>Exploiting the Holocaust to get away with murder

This is what I hate about threads like this.

Comments that would otherwise be recognized for their blatant anti-Semitic themes aren't only given a pass but voted all the way to the top by the reddit anti-Israel hivemind.


my phone, out of habit.


Yah.. It turns twice and sits on its glide plate off of a tomahawk.. I got it, and I've done it.. A TON of pros throw them right?? Oh..

And I wasn't being a dick.  I was voicing my opinions.. Thanks for the name calling, you fucking noob dipshit.


as long as you dont understand what you're saying then you dont need balls, chop chop


Good thing online forums are exactly like a work environment.


So the doctors ovary-acted?


**SHUT UP FAGGOT NIGGER**


Going to the cemetery?


I'm not sure if you're using that word correctly.

1. not meant to be taken seriously or literally: a facetious remark.

2. amusing; humorous.

3.  lacking serious intent; concerned with something nonessential, amusing, or frivolous: a facetious person.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/facetious


Well I do love it up the bum.


>SL: "You're a monster."

[You know who had a very clean car...](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b9/Hitler-car.jpg)


There is no such thing as a straight line in nature.


Oh for the love of fuck.

So, now they're going to play the **what about the children** card?

I don't want to live in this country, on this planet, in this galaxy, in this universe anymore.


Uhhh... Not at all?
Is thatthe correct answer?


I heard they've got Trouble


lmao as if i'm ever going to read this drivel


Personally, I'm stamping my balls off.


nope. Just dishes are all of our jobs.


Seriously! That's a man right there. Zombie apocalypse comes I'm following this dude.


Swedish players always hit the ice like a ton of bricks and after the penalty call come back flying in


Even worse is when [this](http://i.imgur.com/zLAevF9.gif) happens while washing a spoon.


Pfft Black Ops > MineCrap


His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on my keyboard already, arm spaghetti.


Trying to but the dick slurping hivemind will never stop downvoting.


I read once that the reasoning  is because the gore is fake and people know that while nudity cannot be perceived as fake. Not sure if that's a solid argument, but it makes sense.


Maybe he didn't want to spend the money.  In the country where he lived, cancer treatment usually goes into the hundreds of thousands of US dollars, and often even into the millions!


> Like the police would care about a made-up story on Facebook

FTFY, fool.


The hell are you doing on reddit? Go eat your peas

Edit: Okay I get it. Eragon came out in 2006. OP is 17 now. I thought they meant they were 8 now. Please stop hurting my inbox


Except the difference is that I'm not doing an AMA on what it was like to be an American under George Bush when he started invading innocent countries.  I'm disappointed you tried to equate Bush with Hitler.

And I'm not American.  I'm not even Jewish.


He hates babies that much


lol its a bb gun haha omg wtf lol


where the fuck did the spider go?!!?!?!?


Well? Pony up! We got some cialis and viagra offers to forward you.


Just checking, I'm sure.


I had to study and finish some homework. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I just didn't have the time.


Let me try, brb.

EDIT: HOLY SHIT IT WORKS


That's exactly the problem I pointed out. The site-wide spam filter has blocked jinntakk's account, meaning that all of his comments automatically go to the spam filter, and we can't go to his overview. It's a shadow ban. Seeing his comments in the filter, I can see that he's just making normal comments and not spamming, so I unblocked the comments and told him to contact the admins.


Upvoted for "because no one makes Chuck E. scrub shit."


My freedom when I hit NorwegianPearl's lover with my car


The funny thing about my back is that it is located on my cock.


looks like something i would do in your mom bro


I said this to a girl who had a jersey shore worthy spray tan


Entrapment is the police forcing you to do a crime. Emphasis on forcing you because just offering the opportunity to commit a crime isn't entrapment. You have to be coerced. This is total shit in my opinion but that's how it is right now.


You should always plan carefully if you intend to visit Detroit.


^its
its

**its**

Then again, it is just /r/pics not /r/grammar.


Nice try, OP's current girlfriend.


I used to post twice to double my karma, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Shit nigga why so many purple penguins?


Why isn’t it? If you let it happen, you’re objectively the one to get the blame, as well as the perpetrator.


Yeah this is something body cams won't fix. He already is aware he's being recorded.


>  Introverts do not necessarily lack the know-how or the confidence to host or attend a social gathering or to maintain a good conversation, rapport or casual friendship. They just don't want to.

I'm sure this is true some minute percent of the time, but usually people who act socially retarded really do need help. You sound kind of like the alcoholic who could "stop any time I want"


*1 statistics textbook. ftfy


because fat people are disgusting.


Yeah. For fucking real. I also put the lotion to treat the scabies on my balls. Which resulted in me sitting with my balls in a bowl of ice water. The first rule of leather jacket club? Don't catch a parasite and set fire to your junk.


Are you fucking sorry?


Things were much simpler.  It meant SO much to us. Most of our gifts were homemade. Since my mother was a seamstress, she would make us the most beautiful dresses


Because you sound like an insensitive fuck that seems put out because your baby is in the NICU...that's wtf...


(╯°□°）╯︵ (\ . 0 .)\

Get outta my way!


Whenever i hear climbers talk you all sound like assholes.


Always use someone else's hand.


They are paid fairly as a number of studies, including one by the Obama Administration, have shown.

Edit: Moving quickly to suppress the facts there ladies, stay classy.


Also meatspin. Not sure if that exists and I'm not about to check at work.

##YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY RIGHT ROUND LIKE A RECORD BABY RIGHT ROUND ROUND ROUND


But seriously please stop.


Oh god. I remember reading through the Twitter trending topic that day and being absolutely sickened by these kinds of posts. I can't believe that there are so many people who actually think like this.


Oh because surely no one would say something mean for fun...

Congrats on equaling my doucheness.


Mark her off the list of "girls to get a BJ from"

EDIT: [1000 upvotes](http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzaxmuQe3H1r5ioojo1_500.jpg)


Eat a dick. Sorry, I've seen you've already done that today.


Tony Abott would throw the cookie and the napkin into a forest reserve, then dump the milk and the glass into the barrier reef


I don't care how much I have. I just do it for the lulz.


I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW, OP WEARS THONGS


I'm 6'4" and 196lbs bitch plz


>I round off life in her favor.

This is one of the most simple, yet sweetest things I've read!


Your comment was AUTOMATICALLY removed because it violates the verbal morality code.


I had the sam ting happen to me.


Hes bobviously guilty. Bob Saget up in this. if he'd been going to a theatre in texas he'd be shot and its those dumb fucks in colorado's fault for not having a concealed carry law.


Hope you were hungry.


Apparently only 5% of people have the willpower to not eat when food is present.

{http://exploringthemind.com/the-mind/does-being-overweight-make-you-stupid}

>Only about 5% succeed in losing weight over the long term.
These habits are hard to break, and we just aren’t designed to “not eat” the food that is around us.


There was definitely a reason I didn't want three drunk people coming in my house at 11:30 p.m. but I didn't realize keeping a functional couch was it.


he did a comedy puppet show that never aired and this was a clip from that


When he lifted up his hands...

Imagine something right in front of your face is trying to kill you, but no matter how much you lift your hands, you can't seem to push it away.  That's nightmare material.


6 months from now no one that matters will remember it.


I was expecting more...


We already are dominant, name any country run by a black person that isn't complete shit.  (USA does not count.)
It's funny because you don't even have to be racist to show that whites are better, the statistics prove it all for you.


>17 months

It's a relationship, not a goddamn baby.  Say "a-year-and-a-half", like normal people do.


How does this not have more upvotes?

EDIT: Downvoted self. I just want to fit in.


Pretty far off, my basement looks nothing like that.


Lack of cencorship laws.


You can't argue with them, they're black, so they get to decide who is racist.


Aw, shucks, did I shit in your cereal bowl for pointing out those pesky 'facts'?

Remind me not to talk to you about the easter bunny for a while. Or gravity.


I can't believe you just said that.


>reasonable person
>islam

lol


The internationally recognized boundary of space is 100 km (62.1 miles) and the ISS orbits at 431 km (268 miles) so not even thousands.


I used to be a huge fan, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


You met an Asian girl at a wokshop. What are the chances?


Taxes, tarrifs, and a whole slew of other reasons you either don't know about, or don't understand, and which you are perfectly capable of looking into for yourself without my help.


I feel like I just witnessed the birth of a planet


To be fair, they didn't charge you for the app, nor did they receive any of that money. They essentially just bought up the source code, and released it as a new free version.


It's funny because Bauer is German for farmer

Edit: actually, no, that's not even remotely funny.


Hi, former /r/lgbt mod here who received IRL death threats for reddit moderation. Did i deserve it?


I wanted to drag Shakespeare from obscurity.  I've been a fan my whole life, and it's time other people started noticing him!


Don't ruin the fun fucker check


Programming was my hobby until it took over my life and turned into my career.


I'm sorry that I didn't expound on how one of the most durable superstars of our time just returned from his longest in-season injury... coincidentally after the same off-season he desiccated like a grape.


Meryl Streep could star in a Transformers movie and the Academy would nominate her.


all I can say is cringe cringe cringe


and that, kids, is how i met your mother.


And more importantly, why isn't he at the White House doing his fucking job.

Obama is so mother fucking gone in 2012.


BOOM. Like this: http://i.imgur.com/iXi6z.jpg


I cri errtym.

Edit:downvotes really?? zOMG XD

Double edit: redit y u so meen..downvoats maek me cri errtym 5evar lyk dis ---> );


A hat tip to you sir. Hook, line and sinker. Motherfucker.


Of course it must be!  If a child gains weight or has trouble at school, that is indisputable proof that he was molested.  And absolutely nothing else.  Nosirree.  Your child is fucked for life.


And not just any commercials, but the *same* commercials, everytime.


I'd like to invite you to fuck off.


USA back-to-back world war champs, looking for the 3-peat!


What gave you this impression? Non-canon fan art? We know close to nothing about him other than that he seems to be a trouble maker like kid Naruto.

I just find it funny how people are forming real opinions about the post-series life and relationships based on freaking fan art.

And I highly doubt Sasuke has this type of relationship with Naruto's family.


but the best the shop could do was $5


So brave.

Edit: /jk obviously


Maybe he just has really deep thoughts.

^(^Just ^maybe)


HAHAHA because blatant antisemitism is just *so* funny, right guys?


this might raise some ~~problems~~ *money* in the future for her ...


It's the internet, I'm not sympathetic about much. But I do feel bad that he lost his username.


Also, meeting up for kisses...lest we forget


And you get a downvote for your unnecessary, redundant, and outrageously condescending reply.


He's deaf so he won't smell it.


Good. I didn't want this to be the justice that goes too far because we all pity the old fat bus monitor so let's give her $600,000+ and let her take an extravagant vacation because for ten minutes kids teased her.


Hahahahhahahahahahhhhhhaaaa


>2- why do you pee and poop in the same room you try to get clean in? stupid and counter productive.

So the plumbing system is easier to install? Dunno just guessing.


I've been waiting for this response for awhile now. Go ahead sir, expand.

EDIT: I didn't mean to [start a battle]( http://i.imgur.com/iT0WW1Y.gif). I know it wasn't just my internet connection. There was a minor EA exodus last night so anyone figure out what happened?


... And that's how I got the Orkin man stabbed by a hobo.


Seriously OP, listen to this guy. He has almost 34 link karma. He knows what he's talking about!


"No honey, it's *eat a bag of dicks*. But I'm proud of you for trying".


No shit Sherlock, he mentioned that 4 lines in. Get you head out of your ass.


Those of you who aren't from NY, here's a simple piece of etiquette that will make everybody's ride more enjoyable:

Don't fucking film people on the subway.


Uh no.  But it's good to see there are at least 6 12 year olds here that share your sense of "humor".


> metabolically stimulating foods

Meth is not a food group.


A few hours is a long drive for some sloppy second vagina, not to mention that it will probably feel like a cheese grater when the coat hanger is done inside there. Better off getting a local whore, much cheaper, and probably cleaner, than this bitch.


Upvoted because I get this.


Third prize is: you're fired....


Naked pics of the daughter or GTFO please


I never foresaw any opportunity for this to look like a novelty account. This is so exciting!


The age difference between them is irrelevant in the face of the issues OP is going through. This could be 20F and 20M, but depression is depression and she needs to seek professional help NOW.


...yyyyyeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh?????????????


I used to nope the fuck out of there, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


I can call my car a Lamborghini, but that won't make it one


Go to a shelter and ask to watch their kitten and adult cat killings for a day. Perhaps your attitude wouldn't be so blasé then. Do you know how many cats are killed each year in the U.S.? Millions. MILLIONS. Because of people who have your mindset. What's 8 more kittens in the world? They're cute! They add up.


How about this one:

No internet at all.

When I did book reports, I had to go to the library and look up everything in books.

When I was a kid, we had to learn.  Now kids just need to Google.


You must be very stupid :(


aaannnd this is why there should be a national sex education standard.


He spoke his mind and said things that upset fragile people so therefore he is a troll and a bad bad man, your only allowed to blindly praise things these days.


Nah he should open the door with a hard-on. Obviously they are screaming so loud because they want him in on it. Do it OP.


That's what she said.


A scorpion so I could scare my dad!  When we play hide and seek I could hide and he could find me and I'd be like, "BOO!  I'M A SCORPION!"

Brownies.

Uhhhh... I'm scared to answer!


More like what a defensive turtle he is to go through 5 rounds with Jones.


Those are technically embassies, and thus Canadian soil.


Rock'n'Roll died decades ago. We haven't had a truly huge (on a global scale) honest-to-god Rock Band since Guns N' Roses.

It's all manufactured auto-tuned crap now.

/The other day I head g'n'r on the "classic rock" station and I almost killed myself.

//Get off my lawn


I've gotten that before as well, my nose is quite large. Fine, more **FREE AIR** for me you shmuck!


It is, because it is a bad song.


Do you even know what a Bananahammock is?


**please upvote BassBox33's comment, it's my other account and it needs upvote :( ty**

**EDIT: WHY DOWNVOTE ???**


The fact that Obama has a Nobel peace prize and Bill Gates doesn't is quite frankly a fucking travesty.


someone give this man gold


At that point you bite down on it as hard as you can and wink back.


Here you go - http://www.google.com/

Edit: Why all the down votes?? Oh I get it. You guys must hate Google or something. Well I have something for you guys too - http://www.bing.com/

Edit: mmmm... Keep them down votes coming guys. I've been printing them out and rubbing them all over my body. So good. As a thank you, here's some more gifs: http://search.yahoo.com/


I guess that might explain this:
http://i.imgur.com/9wptwLu.gif


yah but look at it... it looks just like a weener...... if the creators of these stupid emogjicons or whatever they are called didnt intend for them to be used for immature manipulation of weeners, butts, and vaggies.... then what are they used for????!!!!


What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

One less drunk person


I don't know what they teach these days, but it has to be more accurate than the BS they teach in Finland.


This is exactly what I was thinking. Maybe even include a note from the kids themselves telling him they hate him and want nothing to do with him. Tear him down enough, maybe he'll kill himself


I dunno..  I mean he sounded friendly enough when he asked me to move, but he didn't say please


You wouldn't download a rock wall.


Downvote him to oblivion.
Where the cheesebats will devour his genital hairs.


Wow Starbucks has lots of benefits now.


I got into Pokémon in 2009 and have since played every single English game there is, besides Silver, Black, White 2, X, and Alpha Sapphire.

EDIT: Ah, the good ol' reddit "Ruin your day with 82 downvotes because one guy downvoted you because you worded something wrong and it just caught on".


Dude, $3.73 really isn't that much, I'm sure they'll be fine.

^^^but ^^^seriously, ^^^good ^^^luck!


Figures another FREE SPEECH shitlord comes to his defence. I took a look in your posting history too and [this](http://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/yyhyw/scientists_discover_gut_flora_is_affected_by/c5zxldi) proves that you are just another privileged shitlord like him just STFU forever.


Soon he will be known as TinTin and solve mysteries


Why would they do that? This dev is making Apple more money. And if you think Apple is all about being HONEST about making money. Look at what they've been doing the last couple months.


A person who is nice to you, but is not nice to the waiter, is not a nice person.


It's actually filled with happiness and laughing puppies piled together snuggling. Way to expose yourself as an emo piece of shit though. I wouldn't be surprised if you had notebooks filled with idiotic poetry.


*I* am jealous of this kid!  And I'm far from a kid xD


Yesterday I met a lovely gentleman in a SoHo gaybar and Semper Fi'd his creamy young asshole all night.

EDIT: 22 angry marines and counting, guys! Help me get to 100, I've got penis cancer so I deserve it don't you think?!


That's not how it works. That's not how any of this works.


I was just karma whoring by posting a picture appealing to liberals and mother lovers.


Ladies and gentlemen, does this sound like the actions of a man who has had *all* he can eat?


Look, bro, the industry could gain a hell of a lot more eye balls (let me break that down for you, eyeballs mean more $$$) if a week before the awards they banned Sam Smith for plagiarizing his hit song.


In 20 years Jim & Erren, and I (the producers) have still not "earned out." This is to say, according to the accountant at the legal entity involved, we still haven't shown a profit. I am of course open-minded, but skeptical. It's the way of the world.


nice..he's still got it.


Reality show on Mars.


Downvote this guy. He has too many upvotes.


Always scratch. At best, he lets go and you get away. At worst, you'll at least get your attacker's DNA under your fingernails for the autopsy.


You are what some call cancer.  I personally think all of /b/ itself is terrible, but at least you folks don't venture to the other boards often.


Sounds like regular sex to me.


just a reminder: Palin is still governor, as well as McCain being a Senator, and therefore are entitled to all the respect due to the office, even if you do not like the two.

Also, domestic spying is not "illegal" because it was authorized by Congress in the Patriot Act.


The real question is how the bottle got in there


wtf did you just say? stupidest fucking thing ive ever heard. pleaase delete your account and dont post this stupid fucking shit ever again. my iq just dropped 50 points because i had to read your retarded post


Well, 300-ish years ago you wouldn't be wrong.

Now, though, the entirety of the U.S.A. is generally called the United States of America.

Edit: Thanks for correcting my history, even though it was a sarcastic comment not meant to be taken seriously. I did, however learn some things about my own country that I didn't know, so thanks for that!


I'd call her a fucking monstrosity. disgustingly fat bitch.


60 or 50 depending on dealer


I'm glad Nelson Cruz didn't catch that ball at the wall.......  If you know what I mean.  ;)


I'd say, ~~Bosnia~~, Tunisia and Turkey are all orders of magnitude more westernized and tolerant than the U.A.E

Edit: Bosnia is actually multi-religious.


It just so completely smacks of an uncaring politician with no tact.

EDIT: HOLY SHIT... -83. I've never had that many down votes.


lies. Your dad is just into the same stuff as you. He had to make up a story or he'd get in trouble too.


Just because you're apologetically acknowledging his condition doesn't mean you're not an asshole for saying that it's what nightmares are made out of. You're still being mean and insensitive.


The senate would be awesome: justin bieber, pitbull, boxxy, kim jong il, etc.


Then why am I pissing myself laughing?

And yes, I'm incontinent...

EDIT: LOL! I say: the number of downvotes I receive is an accurate representation of the number of americans who can't laugh at themselves... Got 7 downvotes in 4 seconds and still going.

EDIT 2: So many americans trying to convince me it's not funny by high-fiving each other... Let's see if I can reach -100.


Nah, small children just naturally wake up early. Why they get a mid-day nap time and I don't, I haven't a clue.


David, De, Gea, The, Wall.


Whats more disturbing is that the parents were not laughed out of court.


You can delete shit, Congrats. You lied to get karma and your plan is working out pretty nicely, you don't have to lie anymore.


catch a breeze with your trunks and you've got a mast!


Hi Marc, please acknowledge me.


"it seems you've taken your first sentence out of a scientific journal published in 1960, the second from some popular star trek erotica fan fiction, and the third from the Facebook status of an 11 year old boy living in upstate Vermont. Consider yourself suspended."
Edit: there was a k in a place.


Don't mind me, I'm just posting here for the karma bomb.


More frustrating is that i didn't see if that tennis ball was ok


WOW!

[Thats the most racist thing I've ever heard!](http://justkiddingbutseriously.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/p7c06.gif?w=450)


Why the hell didn't you just post this instead?


Humans do all these things too....so....wow...I guess we should give dogs equal rights too then, when you think about it...

Edit: Welcome to reddit...home of jokes that are in bad taste.


But I drive a 1984 suburban, it's almost armor.


sorry i'm not going to make some thirsty ass comment a 30 year old virgin would make like you would


I think it is the biggest factor in our high suicide rate.


Ok, nice points but dude, spelling?


tell her its ok. im not quite sure either.


There are no officers in this video m8


"Just boobs", you say? Have you or have you not been on the internet before today?


i would like to watch it but I saw that there are like 3 seasons and each has only 3 episodes? No, thanks...It sounds like a fucking joke


What an abhorrent and primitive culture.


So then the answer is "a bunch of fat cunts." This would also include you guys since you upvoted the picture.


Lee Cheng made me pregnant after a lifetime of being barren.

I have never met Lee Cheng and I'm a man.

He's THAT good.


Why don't you post some useful info to this community instead of making jokes about major diplomatic issues and the death of innocent people?


Throw your daughter at your brother. Break the curse.


yea, but she was asking for it


I'm going to hide this here for fear of downvotes... But since it is a *quote*, let me correct it.

"Identity theft is not a joke, Jim!"

Season 3, Episode 21. :)


I FREAKING LOVE AMERICA.

SOMEONE DOWNVOTE THIS


That's called an Alli-oops


It's not "slut shaming", it's just a few people having a laugh. Stop being so uptight.


I wasn't expecting a stingray, though.


Your actions, methodologies, and juvenile devotion to hate are what make your group a troll group. You participate in such. You participate in being a troll.

I hope you enjoy acting within the westboro baptist church of reddit.


Morning sex= groggy eye booger sex

Afternoon sex is the best IMO


four of the top six comments are pointing out that it's a double dribble, which is incredibly obvious and inconsequential since it's an exhibition game that only exists for slick little plays like this

like did people want it to be called or something? who cares?


I can't find the video but I found [this photo](http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/woman-holding-baseball-bat-shoulder-29658584.jpg) using my amazing google-ing skills.

Keywords: girl pink baseball bat

You're welcome.


i dont know what opera or firefox is. some people dont spend their lives on the computer


>super awkward chicks that read can get laid on a regular basis

...I have a hard time believing there are any women out there who look like you and have difficulty getting laid.


Why why **why** does this shit keep being upvoted to #1 comment?


Imagine if you had written "Allah".


Why can't you make your point without swearing? We in the British National Party are not used to all this foul language.


Also, he's in excessive danger. Further proof of Australia.


You are wrong. It is what the flag stands for, that is why it is flown.

Oh and the colors

Red: Valor
White:  Innocent
Blue: Vigilance, Perserverance, and Justice


Seven *thousand* downvotes. Damn!


Only 4 days? Wow, chill.


There's no such thing as "just" boobs.


... mean it as a figure of speach.


I believe we only use 10% of our *hearts.*


No, the real way to play is to get a valve wrench and just loosen the stem so that it leaks slowly, it will be flat by the time they get back, and it will be flat again each week.


"Everything not saved will be lost"

-Nintendo Quit Screen Message


/r/carporn is shit. It's nothing but P1's, Liberty Walks, and Jon Olsson's camo Audi.


"Hello! ma honey, Hello! ma baby, Hello! ma ragtime gaaaaall."


Nazis weren't Jewish; they were [Christian](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_Christianity).


A sandwich artist now


thats one hot mess you will regret
your mom knows your dealer?
you could of made so much money, tell your mom quarters cost 85 bucks, make an extra 15 bucks on the side, enough for 2 grams to yourself


These women have lived in 3 centuries. That blows me away.


I tend to find....no offence, ladies.....that Troll Women have horrible skin and hairy bodies. Genetics also comes into play. Paris Hilton has great skin. Rosie O'donnell.....not so much.

Edit: I guess I didn't realize that so many trolls and troll lovers cruised this sub. LOL.


No. If you look at the clip you can clearly see him do the same jump after the first one. I'm still watching the clip and he has done this at least 80 times now.


As they should, ofcourse..


"That's my belly button"


Would **have**, for fuck sake!


You used to be quite large

You weren't the hottest chick

But now you've gone and hit the weights

Here, want to touch my *SLAP*


I'm pretty sure that was too kill everyone with double ult, but sure, whatever helps you being cheeky online.


Exodus 23:**9**:

 Do not oppress an alien; you yourselves know how it feels to be aliens, because you were aliens in Egypt.


who cares the show is retarded anyway


Apparently saying "if you put wheels on my grandmother she would be a cart" is an *Italian* saying.

He translated it, but swapped cart for bike, causing the English hosts to lose it. I don't think he understood why they found it so funny. He looks confused.


Your moms a Trooper.  I trooped her in her pooper last night. 	( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


My bf and I are both engineers. We met because I sat next to him in class :D


hey you want some PBR and a pack of 'Merican Spirits to go with that hipster nonsense?


Sounds like a fancy feast!


So, what does being physical and being injured have to do with anything?

Northrup is probably the most physical player on both teams (well, Ramsey is actually more physical than him).


I put a joke mint-flavored cigarette in my mouth and when someone offered a light I said I preferred them raw then ate it.


You're welcome. I hope you have a wonderful life full of petty spite. You're off to a great start!


Love means saying sorry to one person a lot more than anyone else, and the difference is, they probably do forgive you.


There was a recession in the 70s, so probably not that much more. It's not like the 50s where a dollar was worth 20 of today's or some shit.


I'm too old for this shit.


That is the biggest lie I have ever heard.  Most conservatives I have worked with have been the laziest of the bunch.


My last name "Seargent". Whenever someone meets me they make the joke "You should join the military so you can be Seargent Seargent". Every. Fucking. Time.


That was being an asshole? I was simply pointing out a fact and suggesting you read in future.


cooking is science you can eat


i just stayed the fuck away from it haha


That would fit in like every second thread on AskReddit.


Well, Wikipedia is well known to have large bias on their political articles. Not sure I'd call that Zionist control, but I'm sure someone's gong to argue that social marxism is Jewish...

I know it's cliche, but people love to point out the bias in the Holocaust article.


I sleep better cupping my ~~parents~~ partner's boobs, she calls me her human bra.

Edit: well that was awkward.


The sun is actually more blue. the yellow comes from the way the atmosphere filters the light. Clinton knows all about filtering light.


And just like that the meme is dead


annnnndd it's still not funny faggot


You're confused.  The dog is the owner.  The man is his chauffeur.


This is true, she did it out of the limelight though. Not publicizing it all over the tabloids.

edit: In my mind I want to believe she didn't.


Either your colleagues know how to effectively bandwagon, or your lie was so good it caused a placebo effect.


No, I hang out with sensible people who do not require mind-altering substances to have a good time.


Well they're happy he's getting all the support. What they're upset about is that fat acceptance activist will start using this as a "health at every size" and tell him he's fine the way he is, which can prevent him from getting rid of his obesity and improving his health like /fit/ wishes for him to do.


"We're gonna have you juggle all *our* responsibilities!"


Did af gain immense popularity yesterday or something? I swear every post has it


Middle school kids are almost universally jerks.


What a well balanced individual. It must be hard being such a judgemental prick to everyone you meet.


Reminds me of what my kiddo said once.  We were walking down a hall and a guy with no legs comes rolling toward us.  My kid was 4 and talked way too loud, so I was holding my breath.  As soon as he passed, he says (loudly), "that man had the prettiest eyes". The guy laughed and I was relieved.


...maybe literally, if a soldering iron was involved?


People will be dying to get in.


i'm going to be honest here for a second.

i never look at usernames when i read comments, but every single fucking time I do its always fucking you.

What the fuck are you bro? Are you like some shitty nigger version of kormanaut?


That wasn't a drunk chick, that was a sacrifice.


oh look, someone learned the phrase "cognitive dissonance" from the daily show on Tuesday


they can make artificial diamonds now, with science


indeed, would it be funny when terrorists launch 1000 nukes everywhere:o


Upvoted for calling your daughter a little shit.


Actually, I'm fine with that too. If no religious/spiritual subrediit is allowed in the default frontpage, I'm fine with that. I just don't want to see this rule applied only to r/atheism.


"I made this for you because I love you."


We get a lot of trolls, and bans are pretty frequent to keep the circle jerkin'


He already said he was 12 inches. Why are you so insensitive to midgets?

http://i.imgur.com/iTxPW.jpg


How does this not have more voteups


Attractive white male? Hit the trifecta.


white girls being trash what else is new i wish they would be like proud black women who have beauty and class not trailer trash im black btw


IN THE AAAAARRRRRMMMMMMMMMSSSSS OF AN ANGEL!


i hate pedophiles.

edit: woops, didn't realize there were pedos here


Nice "I told you so." 10/10 would read again


Maybe you should fuck yourself.


I didn't spend too long drawing this, but here you go! http://i.imgur.com/SbDX1.jpg

(Also, I am not sure if you meant a firetruck that was a monster or one of those huge trucks, so I did the first)


More like anything in America in one pic . Except you need a cop taking bribes from the suited man while arresting the homeless looking fella


> Soft Core Anal Porn

Yeah, that's an oxymoron.


Chinese gold farmers? Key word being Chinese. Now, did he really deserve that down vote?


**"You just left their toilet full of hot soapy shit soup, you asshole."**

*You just described every Home Town Buffet I've been to.*


lol are you a faggot?
stop sucking his cock?


I can't help but think of the That 70s Show theme. "Just hanging out. Above the street. The same old place, we died last week"


I used to expect it but I took an arrow to the knee!


Don't listen to him. Eat it!


you are never going to be an emergency room doc freak.


Your brother is a jerk.


Tell me exactly how you could think that? Possibly the dumbest comment I've ever seen. Start with how Joe Frazier did against George Foreman. I'll wait for any reply.


Black, white, red, purple...if more boys had fathers like this the world just might be liveable.


this is the best line. made me lol so hard


"I SAID, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO *SUCK MY BALLS*, MR. GARRISON?"


Are you going to refute the information on the link I provided or just rely on partisan dogma?


That kid was going to kick you anway.


Yes, it does matter. If she started this shit and caused a fight and now is running to the internet for protection we should know before our pitchforks are lit and our torches are sharpened.


you can also use it to remove all the yellow shit on your teeth


I just fapped to a dead muz iraqi.  **LOL**.  Kinda creepy, but satisfying.  Those ragheds were trying to kill America.

mmmmskullfuckingmmmmeyesocketmmmm  kinda scratchy at first (burnt toast feel) but damn that middle part.... wowpinkandwarm


Um guys I think CaptionBot is having a stroke.


Offensive to women, this is not a clean joke.


imgur hadn't been created yet.


It boggles your mind that some people use their freedom to do what they want. Keep living in your cave.


Yeah, I remember when my friends started keeping them, too.


HEY THIS GUY CALLED A BLACK DUDE A CLASS ACT GET HIM


J.K. Rowling and the Philosopher's Ragrets.


Go fuck yourself fatty


Are you working for the US government?

EDIT: This was a 30 Rock reference (the scene's not on Youtube, it's from the last episode of season 2, Cooter), but today I learned a whole lot about which parts of the government have pens and which do not, and also a whole lot about the blind people that make these pens.


Car saleman here. Downvoted you and OP. Trying to injure some one for entertainment is not cool. X-posting this to r/sales and you should expect a downvote brigade.


I say that sort of thing to her and she knows what I mean. It doesn't offend her in the slightest, she likes being treated the same as everyone else.


They hate us cause the anus.


Congratulations. For the medal as well.


Finally found the right mirror: http://burner.vidmeup.com/view?q=550326b30a26e.flv


Downvoted, because it's not an issue of grammar.


He's such a lovable nutcase. Almost 70, running around the world, dabbling with experimental drugs, surrounded by young women, caught up in adventures fueled by his own paranoid lunacy. I don't know, he's like a slightly more modern Hunter S. Thompson. I hope he's having fun.


Le me not giving a fuck about this le comic because of the annoying le.


Same thing happened to me, but when I called, they said I was a pussy and that a few little maggots wouldn't hurt me.

I asked to speak directly to Clif and they said "He's not here. He's at the maggot farm" and they hung up. I immediately bought stock in Clif Bar.


THE JEWS DID 9/11, 14/88 GAS THE KIKES


Something to note as well is that these hybrid systems can kill you to death twice if you aren't keen on following instructions.


Who are you to say it isn't immoral?  It seems to me that is a very personal viewpoint (not saying you are necessarily wrong).


No, the ad says seeking brave girlfriend, implying this girl pissed herself scared.


\>lvl 1

\>ff@20

chose one


This is the biggest risk. He's unwittingly training them. Darwinian selection will produce more and more intelligent slugs.


Seriously. I go to a public school now and almost got suspended for calling someone a faggot. What the fuck is wrong with these overly sensitive women

I said it as a joke. Calm down faggots


If you think that's terrifying, go outside and look up.


America is like that sweet mental kid down the street who always coming up with crazy shit. Sometimes you go crazy and land on the moon, sometimes you crazy bastards build Fox news, or elect a president who can't do anything. Fuckin-a america.


They said **non**-sexual.

EDIT: Gold? Alright then.


She may not have died alone, but sacrifices like that mean there's a good chance OP will.


As a father of two I cringe every time I hear the word zero tolerance.


Nobody sexualized a baby

EDIT: MOM, MOM I GOT POSTED ABOUT ON TROLLX LOOK AT ME I TOLD YOU I'D MAKE IT BIG SOMEDAY!


I'm part of the 1%!!!


MOMMMMYYYY!!!!! NO TOUCH VAGINIA!!!!! WEDDIT, WAT ID DA APETOL SCIENCE HANDHEWD POLTOL DEVICE?????? GOO GOO!!!!


"I'll be late, I'm traffic right now"


Don't worry. I am too lazy for anything nowadays. I passed three dates this month alone. i am all talk and no work.


If you don't like the guy then it is creepy and embarrassing not romantic!


I know! Only 300 more lbs and he might be able to see his penis!

edit: downvotes? really??!?!11one


**WHAT THE FUCK** !!!!!!!!!!!!!


What about the police violence that sparked this whole thing? Oh yeah forget about that. The police just murdered some second class citizens. no big deal to a white kid in Minnesota.


*Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me so hard.*


I know, I know, it's a little late. but I'm relatively new to posting on reddit and couldn't figure out how to post this from my phone. also, I'm lazy.


The makeup made you go from asian to indian?


Dude got stomped by a woman, he probably deserved it.


Caps lock ... Slap cock


How strange for a game that requires Steam as DRM


I was a janitor at a fat camp.  You gotta chop those babies up with a shovel. Don't look them in the eye when you kill them, it just makes it harder.


Nope, still don't care.


And now I'm having McDonalds for lunch.

TRIGGERED.


Fox News isn't a person, so Fox News didn't say anything.  Steve Emerson, who was a guest, did.

I don't get this logic, if Biden was on CNN and said something dumb, would you say CNN said blah blah blah?


Well to be fair shotguns are pretty OP.

"Nerf Now, plz" - Germans

Edit: My first gilded comment is about shotguns, a world war, and a subtle reference to video game culture? I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks for the gold.


Correction. Paid for a degree. Learning implies you actually retain the knowledge and don't just cram it for a test and forget a year later.


Wait, what was that about Korean boobs?


yep, thought the same. she probably prefered watching herself auto'ing the tower instead of the fight. Then again this seems like rather low elo, ww greeding for the trynd kill, team contesting a 4v5 drag, lb being retarded etc

guess i hurt some bronzies feelings, im sorry if its obvious when u suck at the game :((


Woah. What if Anonymous was a government sector.

The conspiracy is real

IF.***

Edit: I know she'll never see this, but hi mom. Also hi your mom.


Because people are trolls


> I am the sole exporter (In the way of legalized monopolies) of Apple products into certain parts of the world.

How did you manage to get into that position? Did you just call apple and say "Yo steve let me be a sole exporter of your stuff to certain parts of the world" ?


Oh yea, that took a lot of wit. *rolls eyes*

EDIT: From the massive downvoting, it looks like as the average age and ignorance of the reddit userbase goes down, the general idea of what's considered witty, goes up.


Because fuck you, that's why.


Wow. Is that just fanart or is there a comic set in this reality?


"E" COLI?

NEXT TIME A+ COLI.


Why don't you whine a little more


Tags: shaved, pussy, saggy, titties


Have you not learned how to ignore annoying things by this stage in your life?


One from Galilee

To the shores of Tripoli

All three are extinct


**English only** in this sub please.


dude, you missed the first ~~backslash~~ forwardslash. /r/FeelsLikeTheFirstTime.


Don't be a fag! Either fulfill your promise or don't make it at all.


You pick a dirt spot on the car window and bob your head up and down, making the spot run and jump over treetops and power poles.


Uh.. A girl who takes off her clothes for other men to enjoy her body is NOT a quality female at all. I mean she'd probably be a good lay but who the fuck would stay in a relationship with a girl who does that for a living?

Anyway there's no point in arguing this. You are obviously female and have no way of understanding what I am trying to say.


Kenya stop with the puns?


took me a while to realize youre a fag


And the cycle of ignorance continues.


You do realize those were some of our most prosperous times, right. Romney is calling back to when this country was at its greatest and many Americans are listening.


THIS IS FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!  I am literally tripping out right now.  Just got off the phone with my mom and dad.  I'm so happy right now.  THANK YOU to everyone that has supported us.  This is one of the best nights of my life


Haha damn. We've got a nice guy over here.


GoodGuyAnusDestroyer: destroys your anus, takes you to hospital afterwards.


Would he be your hero if there were men on the beer bike?


Abs are made in the gym, revealed in the kitchen


Can I just ask why are you mad about a 90 dollar white tee? He didn't force anyone to buy them, he collaborated with APC a brand that sells their clothes at roughly that price anyway due to the brand and the quality. Kanye didn't price the shirts either... but if you know a bit about that area of fashion you can see that a 90 dollar white tee isn't the most absurd thing by a long shot.


I believe the term is "flatso".


Robb Stark is killed by Roose Bolton in book 3.


His vine handle is something like gasstation313 or some bullshit, he has big ass guys in there all the time. Also he deals with Crack heads mostly. He befriends most if not all people in his store.  Most of the "pranks" are on his buddies


'john is kil'

'no'


Bob Loblaw = blah blah blah


**Downvoted for obvious reasons. I hope you enjoy your permban from reddit little disgusting whore. &#3232;\_&#3232;**

**EDIT : WTF GUYS, HE IS A CHILD ABUSER. LOOK AT HIS COMMENT HISTORY**


The joys of telling your Sim to go swimming and removing the ladder


You do realise there's hundreds of sites out there which archive most boards on 4chan right?


I was free to roam around the countryside if I wanted to with other children.  Now children have to be very careful because there are so many perverts out there.  I walked a mile to school.


wtf is this bullshit? a nigga asks for a favour and youre linking him to some fucking bullshit? you should be ashamed of yourself. go kill yourself now


Which would actually be awesome.


Well the nerdy guys go into business, politics, law, physics, economics, and/or chemistry. They go on to make huge discoveries (stereotypically) and get load of cash.

You went into computers/computer programming and now work in IT.

Downvote it all you want, it's true.


That's the first lion that has ever been in the super bowl, no?


Sooo bad decision-making all around. Ooo-pah!

Srsly, she made a baby with someone she knew had cheated. Then, she confronts the father of her their unborn child by also creating a Tinder profile... That, along with the gaudy tat paints a picture.

And how many pussies have you clowns gotten from whight-knighting this chick?


I love how she's presumably committing this crime with the premise of "saving" your dog, then subsequently demands your dogs death.


>The proof for the effectiveness of vaccinations has been provided.

How, exactly, can anything be "proven" using science?


Think about how we humans group together by the millions but just can't take each other's shit for over a minute straight...


Yeah, but not on Reddit


Plot twist: It was Conan.


Ah, the old reddit switcheroo.


That's a good tip. I don't think just because someone is uber rich they "should" be throwing out $100s as tips. But if you do ask me to keep your Ferrari up front and then proceed to give me $2, I will rub my balls on your steering wheel. Just sayin..


To be honest, I don't think he's humble.
 [Better Now (LP Version)](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000YN47TI?ie=UTF8&tag=polidebanews-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=B000YN47TI).


Shallow? I'll be devil's advocate here and suggest that a healthy body is actually a GREAT sign for the opposite sex, and whom they find attractive can be beyond their control. There are exceptions to this, but you really cannot say that every girl is shallow just because they're talking to you now. Attraction is a bitch. Ask my friends Proton and Electron.


No but your fucking life is bitch.

**Edit:** Weird, this comment initially had a significant amount of upvotes (over 15).  Suddenly I'm in the hole by -83.


>What did her expression feel like

Am I the only one who caught this? Because it's fucking hilarious.


Uhh, keeps guns and ammo away from everyone?   Americans...


Everything look good "but her face".


Let's be honest: you promoted a subreddit run by neo-nazis to support your opposition to the SPLC. Why are you denying they're your friends when you're on such friendly terms with them?

If you're going to associate with neo-nazis then do it proudly. Why be ashamed of your beliefs?


run up and punch me in the dick. that way i'll know it's you!


So, you, and a "bunch"(Implying 3+, so 4+ of you total.) of other women went hiking and 2 guys you didn't like the look of were hiking on the same trail, so you casually threatened them with a weapon? Yeah, I wouldn't want to go hiking with you either, and I'm male.

Fuck(Figuratively.) women who think all men are out to get them.


Women are disgusting in the bathroom. Both genders are equally disgusting, but women have an extra fluid to work with.

Related Note: Menstrual Finger Paint would be a pretty great band name.


PETA is animal welfare at the very best. They encourage humane meat and all sorts of other stuff that actually does not care about non-human animals because they spend so much time trying to make it easy for humans. Do your damn research properly.

neotiger is promoting animal rights which is worlds apart.


No, this is Reddit, where any basic social situation becomes awkward by default.


who cares, you'd have to be a slut to post on gonewild


I swear these types of things need to be taught in some type of educational course for the technologically illiterate.


I would like to let you know that you made me miss my 10,000th comment karma. I was at 9,999, then I checked my messages, went back, refreshed, and was at 10,001.

Thanks a lot, jerk.


Never thought i'd say "Thank God" to someone drowning....


Kudos to her mom.. if she wasnt a fucking retard. Too bad she's vomiting the illegal apologist lies instead of ACTUALLY READING THE FUCKING BILL.


That's kind of sweet at that age.


Fuck you. You're going to get someone fired for a minor mistake. The surprise isn't the important memory, the proposal of marriage is. That will still occur.


I prefer pastrami. It is the most sensual of the salted cured meats.


Actually I hate /r/atheism.


At an affordable price.

*edit* upsagans? really?


Yeah I didn't see that until today. Found this vid a couple nights ago on another site


What a fantastic couple activity!


He's just gaining Karma for someone elses work.

Edit - Downvotes? Really? Wait, what did I expect. Redditors are dickheads.

Edit 2 - YAY! It's raining downvotes. Whoop-de-doo.


You are two of the luckiest bastards ever, you know that?


that's what the guy gets for being dumb enough to film that. Don't ever video tape or take pictures of something you wouldn't want pubic. stupid.


I've only ever done that once. Though to be fair, the highway was almost at a standstill due to a massive accident, I was trying to get my wife who was in labor to the hospital, and a cop that was directing traffic told me I could due to my wife.

Yet the glares I was getting from other drivers still made me feel like i was being a jerk, even though it was an actual emergency.


Well, rape involves penetration, which is much more common toward women. Either way, they're getting the message across.


Imagine how dogs feel all the time.


It's fun. Especially after giving people advice on BuildAPC and then telling them.


Well, that's the most guilt I've ever felt for an upvote.


inb4 fined by Nick Allen for doxing. /s


So what? Lots of things are invented this way. Sometimes accidents happen and people get hurt. Sometimes you invent gunpowder (and people get hurt). In this case, nothing happened. Except science!


The magic one........

The person who answered didn't lie, technically.


-*GIRL LOOK AT THAT BODY*


My dad did the exact same thing! I was under the impression that male nipples were not called nipples but were called a completely made up word my dad called them which was "dinees". I was probably 11 or so until I tried to answer an anatomy question in school with that word and everyone looked at me like I was insane.


dude shut up you have no room to talk haha your user name is I rape people wtf


Your friends were normal guys, right? Not basement-dwelling stereotypes?

Because that...that is how you get people to not attend your school.


Wooooaaa there Nelly.... This is my subjective opinion of the majority of atheists I have encountered. Not some eternal truth.

>You should be ashamed of yourself.

Guys.... who let the Christian in?


I can only read your username as "I taint me"


hahaha look at this sense of entitlement. UH MINORITIES WHY AREN'T YOU BEING MORE INCLUSIVE OF ME, THE MAJORITY ;_____;


Where in the world do people use washcloth in the shower? Never heard of this!?

edit: Wow, I love reddit. I never knew this even existed. I am a from a traditionally British colonial family in Asia.


Don't feel bad. Bioware made a fortune from that game, so whether or not the game was objectively good for the players has become moot at this point.


Obviously, we pee out of the penis, and poo out of the poonis.


I may be naive, but I'm sure he would never go any further and cheat on me. Because I met him when I was 18, I hadn't had an adult relationship before and I was sexually hugely inexperienced.
 The thought of ending what we do have just because there is nothing physical is what's bothering me more; I don't know if it would be worth it just to get laid on a regular basis.


you guys should penis-bump ʘ‿ʘ


> I've also had the pleasure of breaking a guy's arm

I just thought that bit needed quoting.

Pig.


im 12 years old and what is this


Didn't you read the part where he got out after a few days, got a judge to sign a piece of paper declaring him innocent, was awarded legal fees, kept his job, and got primary custody of his son?


I guess if you work in a food court, you need a way to feel better about yourself.


this made me laugh so much. UPVOTED!


Too reasonable. Not sure what to do.


Because for some reason, there are still people who don't know about bugs that have existed since the hero was released.


You really Ghana go there?


If you can have all those cards in your hand on turn 4, I say you deserve to win


Shoulda started making out while handcuffed, and totally not because I want that image in my head.


I got badge yesterday, and I only have 94 wins, but thanks.


Sounds like he lost a bet with his friends.


Hey op, we have a case of theft as well. We were landlords (my parents and i) and our guys took off and didnt pay. They owe us about $3500 usd. How could i find them? We forgot to get their social. Or drivers license and stuff :/ we were idiots cause we were new to renting out our house.


the story of my half life.


I used to post gifs, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


Kristen Stewart can be the brick


That makes you a fucking loser.


John Oliver: Does that mean that there is a universe out there where I am smarter than you?

Stephen Hawking: Yes, And also a universe where you're funny.


Is there a too far in a subreddit like this now? Must have missed that.

Edit: Do you guys see this subreddit? You're basically down voting me because I'm restating the first sentence in the info. Nice Reddit, nice.


Holy shit, those are creepy. I imagine them being like titans from Attack on Titan.


I see what you did there!


"Et tu, Brute?"

"WORLDSTARRRR CAESARRRR."


I used to upgrade my PC, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I'm pretty sure that when you own somebody so hard they delete their own comment, you win.


You'll never get it you're a bought team.


"Well maybe we could see a movie sometime if-"

"I'm blind."


I wish I was raped :(

Edit: Dowvotes really? Unless this man was gay then he's pretty lucky.

Edit2: Apparently everyone who uses reddit is a fagget.

[mfw 65 downvotes](http://i.imgur.com/LRQms.jpg)


Technically, you have. Congratulations!

Edit: Oh man, came back later with 18 messages to me. Holy fuck you guys scared me.

Edit 2: And what I thought would be a mundane and typical comment is now accounting for almost 25% of my karma. &#3232;\_&#3232;


Holy shit.

I did. [in this post](http://www.reddit.com/r/shittyreactiongifs/comments/2smjd2/mrw_preordering_videogames/cnqy5i8)


If this goes right I've got the weekend to myself, woot.


I didn't say that, but if we're comparing an engineer and a liberal-arts major, one of them builds roads, bridges, skyscrapers, and houses, while the other enhances our culture. A society can exist without liberal arts majors; it can't without engineers.


I remember them telling me that bullshit.

First order of business with a time machine, go back to elementary school and bust in as she says those fucking words and smack her with my cellphone.


No you shouldn't. It wasn't contagious, just annoying.


Not only that but because he didn't listen to doctors and did all this too late, his liver *transplant failed.

A liver he only got because he is rich (you can register on many state's donor lists if you have proof you can get there within a few hours - gg private jet), and that means that someone else on the donor list was pushed out further in line.


Fuck you asshole, save us a step and link it. Its annoying as shit to copy and paste on mobile.


Oh god I do this. I haven't spent night with any guy till now and I'm afraid how they'll react when I fart the whole night in my sleep. :/

 Edit: These comments about me and my future boyfriend farting together are funny guys. Keep'em coming haha.


Cool you played COD before too lol


*quietly continues stuffing spoonfuls in mouth*


FWD:

SON THE VIDEO DIDNT GO THRU. THAT'S CORRECT SPELLING NOW DID YOU KNOW? ITS ON SIGNS. HELLO? WHY DONT YOU EVER WRITE BACK?


Who are all these people that keep logging out in the first place?


Ok?  Just because he said he was sorry doesn't make it all better.  The fact that he was a member of the KKK is a very relevant issue.

Also, the Republicans were the ones that passed the Civil Rights Act.  The Democrats are way more stacked.  MSNBC only proves that.


Is that the guy who said he'd vote for me?

...

YOU!


 Mr. engineering student, first you need to understand the meaning of the word "indicator".
Second, as far as I know, one hour a day will not give you those kind of muscles, unless you are on steroids too, which then is a high indicator of stupidity.


Hospitals have cameras everywhere now. I'd have a lawyer get the videos. Especially if it was near an entrance or exit.

Oh and encrypt your phone and put a lock screen on it.

Edit: thanks for the gold!


Thank you, but i'm pretty sure 99% of people got this


I never understood that, people loved it, but it was annoying as hell and just plain stupid.


You are so welcome :)


I used to carry my guitar picks in them when I played a lot of guitar.
I called it my "Pick-pocket".
(Kekekekekekeke)


Um...isnt that the point?  If there isnt an element of "FREAKING SOMEONE OUT"  how do you get information out of someone.  LOL  You people live in la la land.


I heard the exchange rate is 7 to 1.


Is this still the case if we're not sitting with her? We were on a bus, so it was within earshot but we were sitting across the aisle from them.


It probably tastes quacktastic though!

QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK!

lol


So?  They assaulted him


This guy sounds like he has a case of writer's cock.


Don't worry, **I** know what your talking about. Studio Gilbi.


Oh, you read that too? Small world.


She has plenty of money though, she just cut the Warren campaign a check for a little over 3 grand for a dinner she wanted to attend.  1/30th of that a month extra in rent would mean the world.


Your name.  It makes me suspicious.


DON'T MAKE ME PUT CHEEZ WHIZ ON MY MOTHER!


>do we look like a fucking charity case

yes, you do.

>I can raise my own fucking kids

clearly, you cannot.

You're a good person.


Gotta come up with some sort of defense when you're regularly getting hammered in the air!

EDIT: ITT: Laker fans still butthurt about the Pau dunk.


I'm giving you an upvote and I expect you to take it and personally deliver it to this wonderful man.


No, East West Virginia.


Forks are worse for eating ice cream. Got it.

Now to microwave that spoon.


Maybe you shouldn't be allowed to have a gun? Just a thought.


Sir, I am on Reddit.
What is this "getting out" business you speak of?


FSU defeated themselves....... It was competitive until the 3 fumbles in the 3rd quarter, even with the shitty officiating. I'd like to see them play again at a neutral site.


You know what is unattractive? Shitty attitudes and low self esteem.


Or y'know, people downvote because it's something they disagree with and they don't even bother reading the comments?


Almost everybody in that video has a porn mustach


You could hurt her in some way back, and maybe in doing so, send a message to other women, hopefully breaking them out of their own solipsistic bubbles


(Sniff, sniff) " 'Cause I think you are."


Can we please Photoshop a Mic actually being dropped?


OH GOD, NO.

NOPE, NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE


Oh shut the fuck up. *You're* a dissapointment.


mmm yes now spit in my face and tell me I'm worthless


People seemed to like it. What do you care. (over 850 upvotes so far. net upvotes = 650 at this point)


If you will excuse me, I have to pay a visit to the EEOC to discuss your company.


Whatever brah, smoke up.


Shit, it may not have been yours.

With any luck, you were just stirring some poor shmoe's porridge from earlier that night.


Sorry who are Lincoln City? Never even heard of your boring team mate


"Well Doc, I guess the cat is out of the bag. I like to get this exam done frequently by all sorts of different doctors... so as to compare results of course."


Thank you for being a douche.


I just really hope two redditors who've both read the "act bat-shit insane" advice never run into each other in real life.


It's called having near perfect gear.

LOL being able to follow mechanics == You are a god. The requirements for deity status sure have been lowered.

Feed me downvotes.


when I saw fifa I thought you were going to talk about EAsports fifa. But yes, Sepp Blatter is one corrupt fucker. How Qatar got the WC is just unbelievable


They are using publicly funded networks.


Maybe she couldn't keep up with the technology, because most likely if the two gentlemen got through security, there can't be anything in their beards.


Downvoted for being a faggot on a serious matter.


Having a brother would have taught you this?


So why not have 'tactical discussion' threads? Why so serious?


So true... I always buy the bras with a tiny bit of padding so that I don't get embarrassed by hard nipples. I can't name a single situation where I would want my hard nipples to be seen in public


I see what you did there.


In medical terms, nocturnal cheetosis.


I hope you keep taking things this seriously. Really guys? Its the internet and hes posting a pic of his kids picture. Who cares? He couldn't take a joke about his daughters drawing being bad, so naturally people are going to keep prodding at him.

I stand by my statements.


A guy once broke up with me at a restaurant because he knew I would be pissed at him (I was out of town for four days and he started sleeping with someone else) and thought I wouldn't make a scene in public.

I'm still banned from that restaurant.


By far the funniest thing I've seen on this subreddit. She's the ugliest one of all his gf's.


Honestly there are people that beat and abuse their kids in the most horrible unspeakable ways, and we're picking on a woman who is willing to sell her body to strangers to make her kid happy?


Is that internet sarcasm? I'm glad your not a meth addict man/woman.


Watching, waiting, commiserating


But I've raised a bonsai tree, that's close enough to a kid right?


It's real. I was the house.


It's "ah.. still sharp"


TL;DR: Ovary_Puncher never forgets.


!!!!ALL ABORED TEH DOWNVOTE TRAIN!!!

**CHOO** **CHOO** **CHOO**


The father side of me is agreeing with your statement.


Pretty ironic that violent crimes subside when those shit stain cops striked and chose not to enforce low level crimes.  When you treat the populace with a little compassion, things actually change for the good.  Now if only we could get ALL police departments to go on strike.


Worst horror story a chef friend of mine told me, here goes.

[FUCKING NSFW - gross factor 10/10]
Old chef is busy working the friers one night, almost at closing time and everyone is tired from a busy shift, he's busy frying scallops and accidentally knocks his tongs into the frier, without thinking he reaches in and pulls them out along with the dripping remnants of his forearm.


keep telling that to yourself...


We're not shooting right now, we're still in the early stages of writing. But we hope to make a great deal of progress this summer. And you can expect the death of someone you love.


I'm with Blizzards president. I think you did a rotten thing and you (and others) are piece of shit for doing so.


This man speaks truth.
Source: divorce, bankruptcy, and foreclosure.


I know.  Why are they wasting time talking to someone who won't win?  Why not discuss how President Obama would destroy them all?


I don't think you could have a more messy clean up... But cleaning ain't in the job description!


I used to ramble on and on, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


BUT SHE DID MOVE WEST TO CALIFORNIA IN THE MID 1800'S!!!

Wait... (._. )


you mean Father's Day? It's in June.


Psychologist here. Currently having a field day.


This knight is blinding white. Has she showered you with miles of pussy for defending her e-honor yet?


Your mother acidentally thought up social bookmarking.


You don't live on your own.

Your drug usage in your parents' house affects them.

Be open and honest with them about your usage.

If you can't do that, you're not an adult yet and shouldn't be using.


Pfft.  I call bullshit.  Everyone knows Peyton Manning doesn't snorkel.


I don't expect filthy peasants such as yourself to understand the English language. Keep rereading the sentence, maybe then, something will fill the void in your head.


That doesn't work because you missed the first part, Demonstrate value. You just look like a loser.


First I upvoted. Then I downvoted. Then I felt bad that I reneged on my upvote and upvoted again. Then thought it was actually a pretty decent piece, so I upvoted it again.


I needed this. Thank you


Mmmmmm Yes, can we see a little spread!

God I want to slide myself inside of you...Which hole first?


... and then just as you leave, whisper "these are for my penis" into his/her ear.


Why go through the trouble of this when a new iPhone is coming out? Why not get the new iPhone? No one cares about the iPhone 4 anymore lol.


How about cut his cock **AT ALL**.


That doesnt even make any sense.


Every cloud has a silver lining.

(except, of course, the mushroom ones which have strontium-90)


That's being a little judgmental.


well he nailed your sister so i think you're even


To the bottom with you!

Learn from my mistake.


OP Hit one out of the fucking PARK with his date.


i can't tell if you're a faggot, or a faggot.


Nope, more like tulips.


Way to fucking RUIN Valentines Day for me. If I eat this *entire* chocolate orange, it's on YOUR HEAD. ;-)


They need a script. They just aren't funny or talented enough to ad lib.

And if they do have a script, then fuck, I should be a writer.


I like how you respond to his valid point with pure salt. You definitely seem like the kind of person who would pitch a movie that takes place at a comic convention: the only somewhat social contact you receive.

Your virginity is showing.


FINALLY I'M NOT ALONE! Do you eat the bones too?


Downvote for actually submitting a Cracked.com article on Reddit


as it turns out, she actually DID give blowjobs in the staircase, and you really hurt her feelings. you bitch.


I know right.  She abandons her stuffed animals and then has the nerve to give them rules to follow in her absence.  Sort of like God.

Oh wait...God isn't real.


DOUBLE JEOPARDY BITCH!


HI WEDDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUS HAD DA CERWEAL WIT DA BWEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANA PWAY WIT MY BRODER, BUT MOMMY SAYD DAT HE DYED!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT OK CAWSE I GET HIS ROOM SO I HAPPY WEDDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


91st floor? Jesus. He DID get lucky.


Common man be serious this man has gone through a lot and is willing to talk about it, so please do not be an ass to him.


If gas cost 7.62 dollars in the United States there would literally be murders.


Thank god someone hates dry-us as much as me


My SO doesn't understand this. Pants'd me, then literally pokes at me, or shakes his boner as if I'm supposed to get all sopping wet and chase after him. Bitch, I just woke up from a nap. How is pantsing me supposed to turn me on.


I used to be a yolo.  Then I took le swag to le knee (:


"I was not interested."

Thank you.


This is not the horse olympics you retard.


Good job. This is the best kind of cockblock.


Please see my previous comment.


The Venn Diagram of girls who don't like brainy guys and girls you don't want to date is a circle.

EDIT: [Source,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbIKtuAZrvc) because JOHN GREEN!


I know it's so easy to lose track of time while you are fapping yourself raw to this


most "generic" foods are second line goods from the same manufacturers who make the branded goods.


You're poor use of language makes me shiver.


Getting feelings off his Kanye Chest


Why is this not the top comment? Come on Reddit, you know what to do!


This.

Write an amazing piece of code that saves your department shit loads of time and no one gives a fuck.

Email goes down for 2 minutes and you get abused.


Upvote for telling it like it is!


There have been several times where I have saved someone's life. The most memorable was a simple one, where a child was playing on his bike and rode past me at a crosswalk. I grabbed him off the bike by his shirt and pulled him back just as a bus took the bike out. His mother was right there and was in absolute tears. The family still says hello to me every time they see me in the area.


Ya know, the "forever aloners"? Ha?


Sounds to me like the last thing your cousin saw was you being safely taken away by a police officer. I'm sure he went in peace after seeing that.


Don't care if people are mean to me, but I dislike people breaking the rules of reddit because they get upset over what I do. Everyone can downvote me here all they please, or my posts that you believe aren't of quality, but things like that are just plain against the rules of reddit. The admins have already been kind enough in banning a few of the people who participated in it.


meh I didn't piss on my hands


> ~~abandon~~ disconnect on Lycan


i understand policy needs to be followed, but man he should get an award for those massive balls


You know, I did find skooma in a dungeon once...

...but I couldn't cathay-raht anymore sfter.


Which is exactly why I just shut my door and called animal control. My dad was like, "OH HE'S PROLLY NOT THAT BIG, JUST THROW A TOWEL ON HIM AND TAKE HIM OUTSIDE BEFORE HE WAKES UP."

He failed to realize that the hawk was awake the entire time, and that I didn't have any pants on.


I used to be constructed in cyberspace in honor of eternal virginity, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


>Ate my family, hugged a slice of pizza

Space crazy.


My daughter is Canadian.


ummm okay u know that it is a pc game y would they make it for xbox unless microsoft buys them but i dont think that would happen maybe u shouldnt spread rumor or people will get confused okay dont front just be for real

upvote if u agree


It's actually my friend's kid :p I should have clarified that!!
I babysit the little guy all the time and Kelly never told me what is wrong with him. She said health problems so I'm assuming heart problems. But I know these scars aren't from an accident he had or anything.


The world would fear you. You could go on any daytime talkshow and convince the host to have sex with you on the spot on live TV. Political careers would hinge on your demands. Empires would collapse. The world would unite under your hegemonic libido. Genghis Khan will be forgotten.


worlds best?
really?


"Okay, if you're really sleeping, then what are you dreaming about right now?"

"Ice cream ballons."

"Oh my god, she *is* sleeping."


You're fucking kidding me. "USA WIN 1-1" ring any bells? or the incessant circlejerk following them beating Italy/Spain in meaningless friendlies?


Best kind of click bait.  Congrat!


Nothing more than ad homs in your quiver? Sucks to be you.


No, he's not a scarecrow.


Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you, you worthless asshole shitstain.


Masturbate. Re-evaluate.


I can't help that fatebringer and gjallarhorn are stronger than a scrubby level 27 with radiance/golden gun.


My favorite quotes:  "Why is it taking him so long, he's so young?"  and "She's just lying there."


I am being sincere.  I don't think a man displaced from the child's life has any responsibility after that.

The OP never said why he left, and my guess is it had a lot to do with the mother.


My ex introduced me to her grandfather who she said was very dysfunctional. After I met him he was fine and we had a half hour conversation about economics. She kept interrupting and talking to him like he was a toddler. I had never been more irritated


I see the subtleties of ironic hyperbole are not your strong points.


yes sir, 2 years and 78 days....thank you


That's not very constructive.


>nah no proof for you

>but lemme try to keep you interested by telling you some more juicy details


I won a long time ago.


Do you first have to find someone who wants THAT MUCH crab blood?


So now we're alleging he's a murderer too? This is getting pretty sick - that video of Huppenthal crying shows TO ME a man who made mistakes and feels terrible about them. But let's all kick him when he's down, who cares right? We have ZERO evidence in this whole post, just a doctored video and some BS about wikipedia edits, without ANY PROOF that Huppenthal or any of his colleagues made them.


I kind of need that for drink refills though. I drink water faster than a motherfucker.


HAAHAHAHAHA.

Sorry, I had to.


*redditor for 1 year* well by golly, it is scott


Look at this little retarded comment :3


The most accepted theory is that they ran out of supplies and settled with Native Americans. The Settlers that came after encountered Indians that could speak English and possess Caucasian traits.


Nope, was sent to me like this.


They've probably frozen up again from exposure to her *ice cold heart*


You know that what Stephano hypothetically did is basically legal in Germany, Belgium, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands and probably more places, right?

It isn't legal by a mere year in France itself.


He would grab us by the arms, lift us up and drive his knee into our stomach. He would beat us with his fists on our face and body. He would kick us. He would spit in our face. He would beat us from our lower back down to behind our knees with a mattock handle, often splitting the skin and causing bleeding.


This, it's on Xbox so it can't be a custom skin mod for pc, what is it and if someon gets another can they please dupe it?


"show her some love"

aka begging for views? go fuck yourself.


http://i.imgur.com/Rvaas.gif

edit- Slight change: http://i.imgur.com/IBThG.gif


What an original sentiment.


*Looks like wheat's back on the menu boys*


i dont think it was the right thing :/ i mean how does he no for certain taht she was cheatin seems like she just posted an ad to meet new people could have been for frendship who knows???? anyway jus thought id share my opinion thanks

***sara***


"There was a TORNADO!? Do you really expect me to believe that!??" -Susan


You better change that attitude before its too late. The struggle is real if you slack off.


If you shit on a towel it will eventually dry out, but it will still smell like shit.


False. No situation calls for Comic Sans. Ever.


Please stop spying on me.


When I was picked on I dealt with it normally, I didn't rely on having sex with strangers for money to make myself feel better.

Speaking of which have you noticed any dental problems related to semen?


You for got to mention the cable guy! I think we can all tell that he's coming back... bigger and stronger than before.


i hate when players dont want to be a part of something bigger just because of their greed for an extra million. 8 million not enough?

but then again im sitting at my laptop going to my minimum wage job and not making nearly as much as this so ...


Because funny.

Or he needed a good story to tell Reddit later on. /r/KarmaConspiracy


sixth question: who gives a shit about robert downey jr? he's some spoiled actor with way too much money for basically being a monkey dancing infront of a green screen. he uses his tragically large sum of money for mansions, fancy cars, drugs and the starving people of america can go fuck themselves.


I can't go into detail, but it involved a shower curtain and an ornamental set of flowers.


You can test this in an office chair with a couple of hand weights. It's not like you need formal education to grasp the concept.


I am offended by foul language. The worst swearing that I have ever heard has come from the mouths of the far left.


Yeah, this in particular reads quite odd:

> He mentioned a woman he recently met who already had seven children by caesarean sections and put her life at risk by becoming pregnant again. He said he chided her for "tempting God" and added: "That was an irresponsibility."

Tempting God? What's that supposed to mean? Does God enjoy killing people when given the opportunity?


\>implying you know shit about DotA

go back to blowing dick at SC2


It'd probably be more useful to explain it to us like we're 80


Oh man that sucks. Overall tho Xbox one isn't that bad, it's just weird when they say press x and I press a since that's x for ps haha. And the left analog stick! Why Is it up there? It's so close to the L1/L2


I hope second term Obama grows a fro.


All soccer players and fans are unmanly whiny cunts. They can't accept their sport is boring, lame and that it will never be popular except once every 4 years and only because third world countries can afford soccer.


It was almost as bad as the sexy replies she sent back to you


LOL yea i know i'll leave em alone


You wouldn't do that!

e; now we don't need to edit to say thanks for gold, i can just reply to the gold PM, so say goodbye to these gold edits everybody


eh **no** teh best part where was the jealouse black woman threw a mouse at the blonde girl lol upvote if u agree \^__^


I had her removed and assigned to another room.  Not only was I the elected building president but she stupidly called me a nigger-lover during our mediation with the complex director.


pathetic rediter for 1 minute


100% agreed. It's the George Lucas Syndrome.

Creators make kick-ass movie under lots of pressure from external factors such as budget and studio execs. When they triumph, they get rid of anyone who used to say no to them, not realizing the naysayers actually help them to hone their craft.


Carmella is significantly more over than Blue Pants.


> It appeared to be a small caliber weapon

Man, don't kick the dude while he's down.


nigga fuck no nigga dis like da gatherin of da juggaloz nigga n e thing could hapin up in dis s hit nigga


Apparently one cult member was selected to stay behind to maintain it.


Yea, your joke would probably be pretty cheesy.


It was making a lot of croaking noises, I had to investigate.


I've done that, like, twice, but duly noted. Thanks internet stranger!


>Ended up saying something like "I don't respect you."

There's a difference between dirty talk and real talk.


Despite your protestations, you are a vampire sucking on a celebrity's loss.

And I never said you claimed it was your dog. Just pointed out /u/cabmann was offering heartfelt condolences to the wrong person.


That was a pretty damn good joke.


Let me qualify my statement: A site with an audience that acts like adults - not people who are simply older than 18.


He has a 15 inch penis. Do not argue with the man.


Then you're stupid... again newbs there is one single way that it is possible. Did you think maybe he entered in a cheat code?


For anyone confused, it's a reference to a Family Guy episode where they agree to start spreading the rumour that Rob Schneider picks up Mexicans from Home Depot and pays them to strangle him in the shower.
The episode was based on The well known fact that Rob Schneider picks up Mexicans from Home Depot and pays them to strangle him in the shower.


Found the console user


Agreed.  I only receive oral from girls who are 10/10 .


I used to be the Lord of animations, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Spoiler: you wouldn't


Why not, i have a stick right here and i can poke them. I'll respond in a minute with a post or something and watch the downvotes flood in.


oatmeal doesn't make you want to get up in the morning

Source: I am an oat farmer


GAGA GOO GOO DADDY NO TOUCH MY FIREMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SAYD I SAWWIE WAH WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


My apartment, right now


Paper tablecloths had a drastic price increase recently?

Edit: You stupid fucks, macaroni grill uses paper table clothes and all gives their customers crayons to draw on them.


1 horse size duck. *Starts pretending to use Halo hammer and then switches to a sword*


No, I've played vanilla Skyrim and still saw it.


You see, both of these accounts' names refer to their poor math skills. As such, both of their numerical assertions are incorrect.


Wow you can figure out HU GS = hugs and BE ST = best but for some reason mommys is very hard to figure out !!! xDDDD Epic crappy design meme!!! X\^)
'

haha wow i mean sry i ruin the circlerino jerkerino i meant to say MOM, MYS HU, GS ARE, THE BE, ST Xd xD xD


There's free porn on the internet dude.


cause he didn't do something bad, when you say 'haha, easy' after winning a tennis game it doesn't mean you are bad person. You are just laughing, nothing more


Created by Aaron Sorkin


Interesting that you call a series of regulations passed by unelected appointees prior to any review by the public a "win". Even if you favor regulation of the Internet, it's hard to imagine how you wouldn't view the procedure used to enact it as an affront to transparency and the democratic process.


He usually ends up being shot and dies.


**"IN GOD WE TRUST"**

You're all just redditors role-playing as patriots in this sub.

How sad.

America is a Christian Nation and will always be until the rapture


Agreed. If my kid can't bring peanut-butter to school, your kid can't bring preventable communicable disease.


You're a douchebag, not the guy in the pic.


In fact, a few members came early.


Except for the circles of blackness obscuring 25% of the photo.


killing hip hop singlehandedly


I responded to a moron.  Sorry to butthurt you.


I'm sure one of the other gents can pitch a tent for her.