Can't wait for the iPhoneless Camera


"AMERICA #1, BALD EAGLES, SEX"


But they're all "JUSTICE!"


Really? I will pay you a plane ticket and hotel just to come here and to tell that to the parents of Milica and many others. tell em how right it was, OK?


This will change your mind. [Bora Majstorovic - Kawasaki](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GbLdmypMmU)


Sorry but the official language of the Philippines is Filipino.

FTFY

edit: Downvote me to eternity but I stand by my statement that Filipino is the official language of the Philippines. You can read more [here](http://tagaloglang.com/The-Philippines/Language/filipino-tagalog-pilipino.html)


That and women's magazines. And women's advertising. And women's products themselves, which seem to all "correct" the ways your body is flawed.

Asshole people come in many forms, and peddle many forms of shit.


As a lady:  Seriously I think it's crazy and wasteful.  If a guy is gullible enough to think a child is his and it doesn't look like him, ect, love sucks...perhaps this is a good law for this Kansas citizen.  Otherwise, fuck that.  Every child.  That is overboard and it should be a choice.  I wouldn't want to pay for it as a citizen, my choice in the delivery room or not.


I thought he meant spaghetti made by his mom, what a waste of money


It's not the Journal of Evolutionary Biology either, but that doesn't make creationism any more sensible.


To paraphrase Jon Snow, I just really wanted to kiss her there :)


Yep.  Came here to post that.  Beat me to it.


Note to self: this is how you get free hugs from young women with tittays


Christopher Nolan is always praised by people who haven't seen many films. Sad.


I thought I was the only one to read it as "my Pentium"


Funner? I love to see the evolution of words.  10 years ago people would've wondered where the hell you learned to speak. Now it's evolved into a regular thing. and why not? single syllable adjective that compare two things use "er" and "est"  big, bigger, biggest, tall, taller tallest.

I'm still waiting on "good"

man, that is soo much gooder, actually, it's the goodest.


Yeah, she might actually be dying.


lol 'misandry.'

Don't you know it don't real?


I don't think I've ever laughed as hard in a movie than the first time I heard that line. It was so unexpected. Weird that the funniest moment in the whole movie was just a throw away one liner.

[Johnny Knoxville clearly about to shit his pants laughing makes it even better](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFpARlLDrgo)


>clear intent

You simply must teach me your mind-reading skills.


I can confirm this, I'm an expert


So what am I supposed to use instead of "gaaaaaaaaaaaay" when my friend does something stupid


I don't blame him, that's ridiculously rude.


Yea, except since when does a regency get 10 miles to the gallon? They get nearly 30mpg highway! And the the fact that you refer to it as a regency and not a Eighty-Eight or Ninety-Eight makes me wonder if you ever actually owned one.


If you find yourself in the darkest pit of hell you must strive to become grossly incandescent.

 \[+]/


jerk off, watch netflix, maybe even go to sleep or some shit. but when you start posting pointless comments like that you should definitely just go to sleep bro


im pretty sure its Zelda


Its not not General grievous posing seductively in his undies.


Still better than "You can have the TV if you also take the kid."


I usually don't watch videos over 2-3 minutes, you're going to need to make a stronger argument.


Took me second to realize that "um" is your university and not written stammering


That's great, and I like the thoughtful way you explored your ideas about riding boots.

That said, I'm not sure it's realistic to react to the trajectory of a thoughtless, baiting post by saying people should have just responded as if it was thoughtful and not at all baiting. If the OP was looking for an interesting discussion, she should have made her post interesting.


sometimes when we touch

my penis grows so much...


BRB ENGAGING IN RAPE FANTASTIES TO FIT IN ON /r/SubredditDrama

GEE WHIZ I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW EVERYONE ELSE HAS ENGAGED IN RAPE FANTASIES AND I HAVEN'T.

THEY ALL MUST BE SEXOLOGISTS 100% QUALIFIED TO COMMENT ON THIS ENTIRE TOPIC.

OH WOW.

Seriously though, this entire thread is trash.


"Some people say espositojoe's penis grew 10 sizes that day. And as he walked out that door he swung around with his massive erection, felling his  ex in a single, sweeping blow."

I don't know why I wrote that... I just... did.


There's already one, it's RedditNoir.


French press, like the ones who chased down Princess Diana?


He just finished the turtle and the hate and knows what's up.

Insurance is bomb

EDIT: hare not hate


I get this a lot.

"I read somewhere that..."

"You're just making shit up."

"Here's a link to the article."

"Well, I'll be damned."

Every. Time. You'd think I'd earn some trust or something that I'm not full of shit.


So a guy dies, fuck him, but if a dog dies it's terrible? no don't fuck him, **FUCK YOU.** You are what is wrong with the world, you PETA sack of shit.


They also allow the mentally challenged to order from the children's menu, thus explaining OP's possession of the goods in question.


Having the reading comprehension of a squirrel isn't going to make you sound any less retarded than you already sound.


I've mentioned on here before that my wife has asked me several times if I'm gay, that's it's ok if I am, and that she'd still love me anyway.
I should probably stop telling her that she's being a silly goose.

Edit: I forgot to mention that my wife's greatest fear is that I'm going to leave her for her brother, who is straight and also married.


Why would you want that


But then you'd be stuck on an island full of redditors.


So... If you ate oreos... What would you eat them like?


TIL: NYC subway stations are really fortifications against mole people invasions and that the Transit Authority used to put random different height steps into exit stairs as part of the fortification so that attacking forces would stumble and give the residents more time to defend properly.


Aww that's sweet. At least you aren't waiting in the ER, to have her foot surgically removed from your ass.

I love the fact that you two can joke around like that. These are the kind of marriages that last. :).

Edit: Okay, the downvotes indicate that perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe marriages that last involve asinine fights where someone ends up sleeping on the couch/ in a motel for the night.


On pharmaceuticals:

* They're all just a way for doctors/big pharma to make money

* Vaccines cause autism

* There are natural ways to heal our body/Alternative medicine is just more "natural".

So. Much. Anger.

Edit: Given the context I thought this was clear - I was being sarcastic.


You do realize that... you know... there are plenty of alternatives and many of them are cheaper?

But I would like to get a tablet myself TBH.  I need it for my work


We are very close. Amy is actually sitting next to me on this flight I'm on. They just showed the bowling episode of Parks. Very weird!


Then don't ever respond to me again.


i feel like i'm missing the joke here


Thank you for causing me to remember the correct way to spell one of my very favorite movie's title. I'm kind of having a bad day, and you replied in a way that didn't make it worse, but made me realize how rude I was being. Thank you! And sorry for saying what I said.

EDIT: for doing what I do best, making the hive mind angry.


that would be the first lady's


I agree with you man. If you're white, you shouldn't say any variation of nigga. Sorry you got down voted.


Just because he'd be a shitty president doesn't mean he's a bad guy. Hell, I'd probably cause World War III within my first week, but I still think of myself as a decent person.


Here's a better metaphor: I go on r/geology saying "I'm a designer and I was asked by my boss to find out the rock content of a potential oil field twenty feet below bedrock..." See how ridiculous this sounds. Maybe you should take more pride in what you do.


Step 7: Reinvest profit into season 3


That and the fact that he's a choke artist.
Edit: so touchy


smoothest pickup line ever.


Geez just get some benzos and maybe a job?

Edit: So reddit supports alcoholics so long as they can write an eloquent post?


You sound a lot like a deer.


Nobody gives a shit we want to talk to the pilot.


I'd find it even more impressive if your name was Jfmam J.


The new snapshotS aren't 1.3.

This guy doesn't know that this will be 1.3 compatible. He'd be more correct in saying it's compatible with the new snapshots.


Which, ironically, is exactly what we are using this picture to do.


>/r/seduction, where foreveralones learn to rape women.

fixed that for you

a ton of their ideology is "if she says no, just keep going!"


Damn, your story was getting frightening. Glad you got away safe.


Useless! See your comment at the bottom of the thread!


the language of fart is universal


Watch out guys we got a badass ova here


I would have named it "Ameriwolf: The Last Badass Roarrior"


Actually this was anti-freedom. White people wanted the freedom to have our own schools and the federal government said no.

[Here is a picture of White students being marched at bayonet point into African schools against their will.](http://i.imgur.com/MG2Rl.jpg)


I would have a heart attack mid game in the final realizing 10% of the world is watching me right now..


hey guys, kids are starving worldwide

we have a climate crisis

but its just a ride!! life is crazy.. why are we here, yeah shes a dilf, scary dad

but... why?


--How will we fix the bed frame?

--Well, I'm pretty sure beds are made of meat

--Obviously, but we have no cleaver! Dang!

--Wait...I think I saw one earlier in the drawer with the wrenches and tools

--Saved! Get the cleaver you horny bastard!


And this is why there is no hope for the human race.


>so I can sleep with my hand down his pants/cupping him

::gets down on one knee::


Uh oh! I've been downvoted! Therefore I've downvoted the person who commented on my comment!

I hate being on Reddit drunk, I'm so sorry.


lyk dis f u crey evry tim


I don't hate mentally ill people.

Even when they destroy society and contribute to the decline of western society. Homosexuality is a mental illness that goes against the traditional family unit they are useful idiots for the cultural Marxists.

Either learn about facts you are unaware or continue to be a bluepilled chump.


That should be on a t-shirt.


I think that's the kind of partisan crap he's talking about.


His biographer messed up the grades, which enforced the belief of him being a bad student. Einstein studied in Switzerland, where the grades work the other way around than in Germany. 6 is best, 1 is the worst. So when Einsteins notes were close to the max, his biographer actually thought they were really bad.


Hey, why don't you go tell them that on the other forums, where they've already stated that they understand the issue and are going to fix it.

Adapt or Die.


Since you're rich, and from Washington, please...Get with this state and inflict a mandatory driving school FOR EVERYONE.


Cookies do not aid in weight loss. One is still worse than none.


That's fucking terrible.  I feel so sorry for you guys.  What do you do when you want to go on holiday, do you have to just ask for unpaid leave?


>We don't do threesomes, mostly because none of us want to get near each other's pussies lol

LOL indeed!  If I worked there I wouldn't want to be near anyone's disease ridden pussy either!


Actually it seems to takes two.


Hmm. *Someone's* not comfortable with having reached puberty.


It's you from the future.


Then you can pay for their operations out of your own donations rather then whining about the government not paying for it with money it doesn't have.


Please enter your birthday: January 1, 1900.


Those homes being bulldozed are the homes that are receiving funds from the PA, Hamas, Iran because one of their sons decided it would be a good idea to blow himself up in a cafe full of women and children.


>Also that my dad tried to drown me in the bath like a puppy.

Like a puppy? ಠ_ಠ

Edit: Highest rated comment and of course it's about drowning puppies.


Like Justin said, Cry me a river.


They even tell you that when you install the app

http://i.imgur.com/iDryTle.jpg


Don't listen to them , I like all this fancy subreddit jargon we have here. Have an upmote for your upmote.


OP actually did deliver!

EDIT: Obligatory "erhmagerd highest rated comment ever"


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TOSH.0 IS HILARIOUS I LOVE NOT SEEING A WHOLE CLIP AND THEN HAVING THAT PARTIAL CLIP REPLAYED OVER AND OVER AND OVER


Yes, they do. I'm not going to mention any names, but my hope is that the community now knows that this infantile behavior goes on and those responsible will see that the askreddit community collectively scorns their actions.


Please tell me that was sarcasm....because thats how I read it lol


Partly because he/she used "you're" correctly.


Upvote this hardass attitude!!


this is the best AMA that has ever been.


Yes, that picture is a frame in the video


Piglet was the only positive thing from TL this game.


YOU DONT HAVE THE ANSWERS


Currently funded at its higher (over-run) cost, but that did not happen without casualties in the NASA budget for other projects.  A bitter sweet victory for a telescope that was almost cancelled.


doesn't matter. Casillas would've saved it anyways;)


That's what she said. :(


LmAo NiiiiiiiiCe TrY GeTtiiiiiiiiinG SyMpAThY YoU PiiiiiiiiiiEcE oF WoRtHlEsS SaGgiiiiiiiiiinG ShiiiiiiiiiT WoRm FuCk NiiiiiiiiGgEr !


I'd go about this differently. I'd TELL my son that, but then secretly leave it all to him in my will. That way he has to make his own way, but then [SURPRISEMOTHERFUCKERYOU'RERICH!](http://i.imgur.com/UReZW.gif)


I'd say, if anything, Ice Breaker is the poor mans Black Hammer.

Black Hammer is MUCH better than IB at the few things IB is decent at.


Could we move it to 10:30, I have something at 12:00 that i have already moved twice and i really don't want to again?


Think of a better title, you idiot. Those aren't jazz hands. GIF or gtfo, the thing that makes them jazz is movement.


thats a pretty stupid thought


several children wish they could do this to you, I'm sure.


Sounds like she was a little... cuckoo.


If you noticed the rifle then you definitely are a fag.


And it lasts a while, so don't stop until she gives you a sign.


Yeah but absolutely fake ... this are all actors, entertainer for the poor people!

She is not his real wife!


I saw it on this site called Reddit.


how can You know another person has lag?

Need an answer from OP before I take his post serious


Some hamster democratic process.


As an ent, and in my opinion, any punishment for catching him smoking weed besides talking to him about responsible consumption is disciplining him too harshly.

EDIT: I stick to my OPINION, let the downvotes keep coming. It is an opinion, as stated.


COME ON SPOILER TAGS PEOPLE


And aspbergers and is an athiest. And a lesbian too. EDIT: I'm sorry I left out that she is also retarded.


Break the ice with some light discourse about the abortion debate?


Can't argue with anything in the post, resort to crying because Chelsea spent a lot on SWP ten years ago.


Clearly you have very little dangles.  When that shit is hitting you in the thigh with every step, it gets annoying.  Boxer briefs have a compartment for your junk, and it's very stretchy.


I like Anonymous.

I also like Sup_SRS.

So long as they only use their powers for good, I'm right behind them.


You da real rap genius.


"Maybe. Maybe nawt. Maybe go fuck yourself."

- *Marky Mark in The Departed*


Ex-pizza delivery girl here... My favorite experiences happened when men would answer the door in boxers or open robe and then have a minor freakout when they saw it was me. Their embarrassment was hilarious and usually resulted in an apologetically large tip. (Cue dick jokes)


By what metrics, I wonder? Making money? You seem to imply that Monsanto is doing humanitarian work. Perhaps you haven't seen *Food Inc*. If you had, you'd know what a douche fucking statement your prior comment actually was. Or perhaps its overt douchieness is precisely why you made the statement, in a deliberate display of your capacity for being a giant twat.


Well, half of it was just them trying to figure out what PC LOAD LETTER meant.


I am a white knight because I think that satirizing and making light of abuse towards females is disgusting?

I guess I am OK with that in every way then.


Or "I gained 25lbs of hair and lost all my muscles."


fuck you very much :)


15 minutes early to all professional events, 15 minutes late to all social events.


Congratulations! Tell us more pls


No... this is PATRICK!


Maybe so, maybe not.  Unless you know for sure that this isn't going to screw innocent people who had nothing to do with this, you shouldn't get behind the mob.


Because he makes Bryant gumble look like Malcolm X.


A blunt is pure weed, a joint is a mixture of weed and tobacco, a piece is a pipe or bong or something like that.


It was actually pretty good. Had my mom not walked in I probably would've came all over my dog.


they're doing okay

makonnens doing alright


Well, you've certainly played that game with authority, Triple H!

edit: ...and that, kids, is how I got reddit gold. Thanks, stranger! So shiny!


haha, this should be the top comment


Yes, of course they are.   They're from Kinkystan.


You spelled Obama wrong.
Edit: Obama is always grinning and laughing. Can anyone understand my  confusion?
I am 12 and what is ourselves?


http://i.imgur.com/2xwQI.gif

Just take them, you guys...


The following is copy/pasted.

Admins posted a Public number for public servants.

KiA posted a private number for a private employee.

Reddit rules tend to be that you cannot post private information here no matter how easy it is to access. Public information is a world of difference away.


The saddest part was that you or your mom didn't have the courtesy to let the whore and her bastard know the circumstances.


I guess you could say they got away with... worming around.


How is this question always answered?


Is this guy shitty? His feminist opinions seem totally rational and well thought out to me.


Wouldn't you need an interpreter for Dylan as well?


Door is to the right. Let it hit you on the way out.

Edit: Ill take the downvotes just fine, but spewing all this negativity while there is a CBA negotiation coming up is ridiculous. Way too many knee-jerk reactions going on around here.


I can do the job for $1m AND fuck it up.


Yes... natural selection involving a machine and a person who can't use their brakes.


Well everyone found it rather funny..except for the little sister who run away shrieking..or my girlfriend who was mad at her family for storming in uninvented..or myself who was mortified. Now that I think of it, the only ones laughing were her parents.


Aaaaand there's the line....there it goes.


Yes, those are prostitutes.


First, i would like to just get to know you. So please, sit on my face, align your arse hole with my mouth, and let a nice stinky fart rip so that i may consume the delicacy and tongue your fart loosened arse hole as a follow up.


We have been "on the verge" more times than I care to count mind if i join you in the skeptic's chair if you scoot over for a sec there should be room.

EDIT: an f and I would like to say that i want to see fusion as much as the next guy I just want to see some proof first.


> I made a few apps like 2 summers ago and put it on **androids market**

That's your problem, people won't buy shit on the android market. The iOS market though..


It's the drunk uncle you see at random times that come and gives you a gift then you don't see him for another undetermined amount of time


instead of spending time on these retarded antics..how about you spend some time trying to lose some wieght


Then I'm pretty sure ISIS is fucked. But they'll play with them before killing them.


Do you still go with Gronk if there's about a 20% chance he's out for the game? That's about his career average. And about a 20% chance that even if he does play, he's not 100%?


The nerd's plight: when knowing too much destroys the joke


Why would you do that? If I ever see you in real life, I'm going to grab your face, slam it on the ground and take a huge shit in it.


Scumbag brain: "Hi my name is BEEEEEEP nice to meet you."


I never thought of it like that. Maybe this dude was a genius


Tell your girl to get her own goddamn beer.


ANIME IS BASED ON REAL FREAKS OF NATURE?!


Someone that went to my highschool went to jail because he threatened to blowup the highschool to another runescape player. [here](http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/352702/josh-pillault-original-justin-carter-charles-c-w-cooke) is a story on him


how is that any of his fault. that retarded renekton took tower hit when he is that low hp at that low lvl. even if god was there and killed Yi. that retarded renek would die from tower anyway


Put a crane in the school pool. Soaks up so much water, it usually takes a crane to get it out.


That is the saddest thing I have heard all day.


"Skrillex; oh, he's a classic, you probably haven't heard of him."


what has senpai anything to do here? Please repsect the senpaism and dont associate it with obeasts :)


In honor of this exchange, I'm going to start saying "had a pregnant."


Can we be serious here for a second? There will obviously be documentation that tanning beds were used for just that - tanning. These posts make me fucking rage... shit like this would **never happen**.


It's Denmark, they're all bottom-class!

^^^^I'm ^^^^Swedish, ^^^^I'm ^^^^allowed ^^^^to ^^^^mock ^^^^them.


Weird 20yo white girls usually go for the old Crusty Nigerian type. Wonder why her friends are concerned? I bet bush meat\Ebola


I watch it every day.


Over two years ago? With your 3 month old username?


Pipes that you use for smoking.


Not to her face.... just to reddit.


Please don't confuse me with this horrible monster!


You did ok, considering your boyfriend is fat and ugly.


Jesus, I didn't know Stan Lee was 92.  Was thinking more like 82.


We'll see how the fallout of all this goes, hopefully we'll see violentacrez, hueypriest & other sexual predators and their enablers get nice long prison sentences


Yes! We actually took a [lot of pictures of the night sky with MER](http://pancam.astro.cornell.edu/pancam_instrument/projects_2.html) (this is my field of research, actually). We're planning on continuing thee observations with Curiosity once we've checked out all our instruments and are ready to do our nominal science mission.

-Keri/@KeriOnMars


Cool story bro.

Everyone seems to forget they played a clasico on Saturday night. Their legs just went off them.


And this [r/beatingwomen] (http://www.reddit.com/r/beatingwomen) doesn't incite hate and violence and is, therefore, not against Reddit rules?

Edit: While we are at it, let's not forget [r/rape] (http://www.reddit.com/r/rape) and [r/rapingwomen] (http://www.reddit.com/r/rapingwomen), because by some strange logic, that does not promote hate and violence either.


Or what? You'll sue me?


No matter how much you shake and dance

The last few drops end up in your pants


Ehhh it's debatable. He certainly did lose his shit though. It's the way he did it that was pretty thug. Still hate this post though, nothing unexpected in the least...


He's lucky he didn't [pull that shit on Australia](http://i.saucesome.net/ceV.jpg).


A cow? You sure?  I'll re-read it a few times, but i don't see that interpretation. There's no reference to cow. Im pretty sure it was a fruit joke.


Yeah, girls are capable of doing that too...


he started falling before he came in contact with the goalie, there was another angle that showed so but i dont have it


And the wife! Leaving an abusive situation is hard, she needs kudos too.


>grown-up women

No Such Animal.


Piece of shit father should not store a handgun with ammunition somewhere kids could reach.

Unbelievable


Or 'didnt get much love from (insert subreddit here), what does (current subreddit) think?


Yeah. I couldn't give two fucks whether it's real or fake, I just want to know what happened


Sidewalks. Ride slowly. You are not a car, you do not belong on a busy city street.


Reminds me of "Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?"


actually i found solid proof that you made your list up:
http://pastebin.com/raw.php?i=XuiFrm7Z


Yeah, that's just normal Ricky Gervais.


I love to take shits. I think it's because the poop presses against my prostate on it's way out. Feels so fucking good.


9/10 he doesn't know what a barometer is


The principle of them being on reddit has nothing to do with what is safe for work or not.


You all have to tell the BBC what you think if you want to make something happen.


I would understand if girls degrade themselves for money, cus you gotta make a living, but doing it for free is just pathetic


…...nobody has sex naked because David Cameron has decided that he needs to watch you in order to stop terrorist attacks


ohmahgawd, you must have OCD.


Growing up in Sweden the local fire department came to my school a couple of times demonstrating this. Valuable lesson, I think it stuck with everyone. They also taught us how to put out various other types of fires and how to use fire blankets and such.


Thats not your mom's fault, you utter child


It's the best response I haven't.


Very clever. Want to try not typing like you're mashing your balls on the keyboard next time?


Cool!  Get it?  "Cool" because the water is cool and you jump in it!


"it's just a job" is never a valid excuse.


Sex while camping is fucking intense


bet you feel like a dick now, huh?


"Man" is synonymous with "Adult"

A father teaches their boys to be adults, "man" is just the denomination.


NO WE DONT

Seriously, where do you come up with this shit?


IT'S OPEN TO INTERPRETATION.


This makes no sense and is ignored by everyone for that reason. Just like Ubuntu codenames.


for the fans who do not accept me . i accept them. thats life . come to a show it will probably change your mind. and the most important thing i have learned was to always remain humble. you are no better than anyone standing in front of you and you are never as good as the band before you :)


**LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO**

**WOW, YOU MADE A REFERENCE TO A TV SHOW THAT REDDIT LIKES**

**NOBODY HAS EVER DONE THAT BEFORE, YOU MOTHERFUCKING COMEDIC GENIUS.**

**YOU ARE SO CREATIVE AND ADD MUCH TO THE DISCUSSION AT HAND.**

**IM BASKING IN THE GLOW OF YOUR IMPECCABLE TIMING AND SENSE OF HUMOR**


tear up and cry a little too


I always had a lot of trouble with clearing the gap in Rainbow Road growing up... my parents said it had something to do with A.D.D. but deep down I knew it was because I was adopted.

edit: downvote all you want! I'm staying with my boat!


I woke my daughter up laughing at this. My mother-in-law will love this! She loves almost everything Stephen King.

EDIT: [Just wanted to show how much I appreciated this.](http://imgur.com/fY0Do9j.jpg)


You obviously had/have problems.


Yeah otherwise he sucks


Her parents must be really proud of this behavior. Looking for attention like this though I bet she was molested as a child.


Uh, look at 20 year olds and 80 year olds...and people with healthy brains vs people with Alzheimers....probably about like that...


I think his plead would have fell on deaf ears.


As the guy that has to sit through it every Sunday, yes.


You are nothing but a fucking 2.0 GPA American who thinks Obama is any different Bush. It's good to call names, Obamatards?

Glad to see all the sane people have moved to Hacker News.


Cut your nails... *and file them.* Those freshly-clipped nails can have some jagged edges. Nail file (emery) boards cost like... $2 for 10 boards.


Why the fuck would you pretend to be someone who lost weight? Thats a before/after pic from geekfitness.com.


I knew you'd be back... *Brother*!


Next, we'll shoot for one who didn't sleep her way up the ladder. One goal at a time, Reddit.


Girls? All I see is the content of their character.


here's another post you can downvote


I actually might have one at work. Send me a PM to remind me, I'll check and get back to you around noon tomorrow...

Edit: Noon eastern time (GMT -4)

Edit again: If you feel comfortable pulling the LCD out and getting me the part number on the back, that would be even better


That's a nice faggot indicator you got there at the end of your comment.


Man, that commercial was way ahead of its time.


More like Roar while Roasting in Hell.

One down, 59...


Dude, I was walking through the mall one day and saw them changing the posters- I now own a 30 inch wide nine foot tall half naked Miranda Kerr that lives on my ceiling. My girlfriend hates it. Walking through the mall with it was hilarious, the guys all thought it was hilarious and the girls all looked disgusted.


*content removed due to stupidity - mods*


Like, Marge becomes a robot!


rofl  trolll kid made new thread enjoying ur madness otherwise u would never cry like a dick


What you did RUPTURED_ASSHOLE

Edit: Really? This replaces my previous top comment about racism applying to all ethnicities? Whatever guys...


I DOWN VOTE YOU BACK TO THE HORRID LITTLE CAVE FROM WHICH YOU SPAWNED, NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT POKEMON YOU GIGANTIC WALNUT.


>"And now that I've been on Reddit, I'm going to look around."

And he was never heard from again.


It's not at all blatant, she's tripped and steps badly, I see no intent.


7 REASONS CRACKED WILL NEVER RUN OUT OF LISTS


superficial morons with attention seeking body modifications?


Why are you squating in the coat rack, bro?


Yeaaaa but gifs are just so much more convenient. Besides I already imagined the crowd cheering in my head when watching the gif and I don't think the cheering of the crowd in that YouTube video can live up to what I just imagined.


One more year and you become a wizard. Good luck.


He meant the picture takes place inside of Pearl, not sexual. Though I guess expecting maturity or reason from the generation that grew up on Spongebob is asking too much?


Her probation officer already did so. Two officers showed up. I told them I'm fine, they said I seamed mature and responsible. I asked If I could try it on my own. They called DFS and they gave the ok for it. I have a job and am currently going to school. They see it unnecessary to put me in a foster home.


Why in the hell is that sad. You have to punish assholes.


Still waiting for dickbutt or tree fiddy.


Yeah, but you didn't see those 80's guys do that, because they were good. John Belushi could keep a straight face through everything, he knew kayfabe. Things got ruined when the actors started to get into the heavy drugs. Man, I miss the 80's.


"Remember back in the good old days, when chocolate chip cookies came fresh from the oven, and you'd take a chair in the shower with you so that you could spray water into your vagina? Pepperidge Farm remembers."


.niaga yllamron gnitaeb trats nac ti os tnatsni na rof traeh ruoy pots lliw tI .yllacitarre gnitaeb stun gniog si traeh ruoy nehw desu era sbifeD

.kcab ti tratskcik lliw ti ni detcejni sgurd ylno ,deppots sah traeh ruoy fI

.seivom eht ni nwohs syawla s'ti ekil ,deniltalf ev'yeht ecno srotallirbifed htiw detaminaer eb t'nac elpoeP


low and behold their printers go down anyway cuz they're fucking printers


She had a somewhat humiliated expression on her face though.


"...Like some kind of..." (Stare directly into camera) "Hot tub time machine!"


I used to get punished, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I actually liked the campaign mode, **GO AHEAD AND DOWNVOTE MY OPPOSITE OPINION.**


Never said it was an insult


grampa invented 4chan


Why?

Kids get bullied all the time, the answer isn't putting the bully's through the court system and a trial.  The answer is better parenting for the bullys, and to educate them so they can see why this behaviour is unacceptable.


> I could sleep for a solid 12 hours and wake up without even the faintest need to urinate...

I'm a 26 year old guy and have never been able to do this (I could sleep through the night without needing to piss, but after 9+ hours, I'll have to pee first thing when I wake up, guaranteed)... I'm screwed when I get older...

Edit: clarification of gender


Amazing how your username is relevant.


Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food?

Neither have they.


LOL! Is this reply not ironic to anyone else? Are you trying to make an ironic joke by proving Daltrain's point xtc46?


As compared to you who is just an egg.


or just use windows 7 and not have all that fail8bloat.

-55, so much butthurt, so many crybabys.


Doesn't matter had socks


That is ridiculous.  A private company does not have the power of taxation *unless* they are exploiting their monopoly (which is illegal) or they are in a deal with the government -- which defeats the purpose of your argument on its face.

edit:  heh... 50 downvotes for a statement of fact.


I know this is a lie, because my brothers would've sold me out just for a laugh.


So when I read your comments you seem like a suburban mom at a school council meeting with sand in her vagina complaining about everything because you like to hear yourself talk.


HELL YES! Thank you, I too hate the gays because they are all sexual deviants!


I wish I worked with you, so I could sneak up on you at work and play the sound of screeching brakes.


Gifting DotA makes you a badass now? I guess I must be Evel Knievel then.


Probably all the downvotes were from Cat Piss enthusiasts.


Heads up guys, the karma train stops after Gramma42ton's comment. It's all downvotes from here on out.

*edit: not sure if genuinely downvoted or self-fulfilling prophecy.


I actually just chatted with Bo Burnham at the Improv in Hollywood last night.  I think he's great.  I'm a fan of Tim Minchin as well.  Although my favorite musical comedians are Maroon 5.  Those guys are hilarious.


Nice try trollfag. This statement is bad and you should feel bad.


As a toll collector I can say they don't deserve such a cake job.


I found it, read it, and said WTF to myself. Seemed appropriate enough. Plus, funny and pics have awkward rules about pictures with text. Didn't want to deal with all that.


Can't tell if /r/sweden is leaking


Who said that they're fake?   O_o


Nana nana Nana nana na na nana Nana nana nana na na


I guess that makes me a rapedy rape rapist man. Roleplaying sleep-limp sex with my beautiful girlfriend. Her suspension of consent is something she should have considered before expressing non-consent. How the hell would BF know if GF was acting in, or even inviting more roleplay by saying "I'm tiiiiireeeed"?


Wait - wait - you KNOW the teacher, and you think she's a good teacher, and you still threw out a public shaming on the Reddit?

...damn.  That's cold.


I hate how there's so many children in this subreddit now, downvoting everything. Downvote this! I don't give a fuck, it just sucks that people will get shot down if they don't have something witty or humorous to say. Fucking dumb.


She also turned down life's role in The Cute Kid Actor Who Found a Way to Transition Successfully into an Adult Actress.


The onside kick of all onside kicks! GoHawks!


Well technically, shouldn't it be zero?

EDIT: Because you don't need any coffins during your lifetime - you only need one after your life is over.


I can only see this deserving an "unfortunately" if his wife is a dumb bitch who takes her anger out on him for things he couldn't control.


Or a girl and her dog. Oh, you're allergic? Sorry bro.


You think they are a solid 1-2?

I mean neither one is quick enough to stop the CB's from running into the endzone after a Geno interception.

They should have gone after Devin Hester instead.


please get bill murray


They arent even memes, seing as noone else uses them!!


Last I heard once he graduated he moved to Little Rock. Not surprisingly he doesn't visit that town at all anymore. I really do feel bad for him and hope he is doing well.


and israel will give that tech to iraq..hate to say it but the only reason iraq is the way it is, is because of israel from the start.


Step one, complain about another sub not appreciating you.

Step two, front page.


Oh yeah and there's that developing duck on the plate, too.

Just eat around it, man.


Agreed...but our motto while we were sneaking mattresses and dressers out the back door of the dorms was...."better ask forgiveness than permission".


Dont be so harsh. It's easy for you to sit here and judge her.


What I imagine he was saying:

HEY!  HEY!  FUCK YOU!  HEY!  FUCK YOU!  NOT GONNA DO SHIT NOW, HUH?!  HEY!  FUCK YOU!

You should've turned the thing on.


more like: EUKRNA>CH>KR>EU>NA


That's not what they're for? Like seriously?


blow it out your ass sir, I have better things to do


Did you take the dick out of your mouth and yell something back?


Drop them and use only bitcion then. It's all about choice, isn't it?


I thought It would be DM:HC (Doesn't Matter, Had Chex)


yes my name may be kinky princess but on COD i dont get the same responses like i do in UNO


Not only that... He's Iranian


So the reason that dog died is because of YOU. Well done son. You let him die.


Aaand that's how I met your mother.


So, he thinks that she never existed to begin with. Oh well, thats not just cruel, thats disgusting to say about your own mother. Saying she never existed to begin with is like saying he didn't care about her to begin with. No wonder he takes offense when people actually care about his feelings.


Then she bought you an Altidore shirt cause you cant finish


I'm sorry I should of specified. I've been very close with him for 5 years.


Too bad she sneezed, that would have been a great shot otherwise.


I could say the same to yours.  I used no foul, aggressive language in my post.  While seeming slightly ill-intended, my comment in no way holds up to the gruesomeness of yours.  Congratulations, hypocrite.


Have you ever met a 5 year old in your life?


Originality, you don't haz it.


Then you will love [this one!](http://i.imgur.com/EJItH.jpg)


PS3 has the same problems, dumbass.


"Hello this is customer service, my name is Tom. What can I do for you today, Sir?"

"Uh, could you pass me the mayonnaise please?"


Some guy was willing to wear a menimism shirt and take the abusive of his peers in hs at a time when peers matter the most. That's not fuck all. But I'll accept le downvotes for breaking the jerk

Edit: srd hit a new low lol. For making so many jokes about this conspiracy you sure are proving them right


...then I got onto Xbox Live and realized that I was using the word correctly after all.


Rodgers is either trying to add to his legacy by toughing it out through his "injury" or sowing the seeds of an excuse for a loss.


How much did you pay the wenches?


That's a bunch of horse shit.


I do this too, didn't even know it was uncommon till I was in my mid twenties. I wouldn't even know how to wipe without standing.

Edit: *of course* my highest rated comment on Reddit is in regards to my ass-wiping technique...


The joke itself, namely that Pierce's mom has a huge vag.

Edit:  wow, so much anger here.  I had forgotten about Pierce's mom dying, and it wasn't referenced in that ep, hence my taking it as a joke.  Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.


*schlick schlick schlick* TELL ME HOW BAD THEY ARE! OH.. YEAH!


No, he just wanted to karma whore


I can trim your amour for free if you want!


Really? Cause where I'm sitting it looks like a bunch of asshole white guys making jokes about something that fucked up an entire population of Americans and their children. This being a novelty sub doesn't mean it's okay to be a giant dickhole.


Statistically, 9/10 people enjoy gang rape


Ahh, the old reddit switcheroo


All OP has to do is bring his 14 year old nephew to pose as his son.


Lol look at this guy. Who hell are you to say who is good guy with that pathetic screename. Oh ur cool u rape people... Fucking idiot


I love a story with a happy ending


I came here to post exactly this


his representatives went after her in order to conceal a secret homosexual lifestyle


"third-world deaths are unimportant."

So true.


He's just going around to let you guys know about the recent annexation.

We wanted to make sure the american minority was being treated fairly, so we took steps to accomplish that.


of *whom* you're a supervisor.


To be fair, he actually originally did this as STEPHEN COLBERT.


I saw the n word (yeah I can even type it) and was like down vote this mother fucker! Then I saw the Gif.... Well played you classy son of a bitch. Have an upvote.


You're allowed to do shit like that when you're a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist.


I don't think they have the "cheat your way through the 1st two game" strategy down just yet though.


If you know her Mum...is there any chance her Mum could come over and get her stuff?


what do you mean so brave, /r/gaming hates cod.


Should have subscribed him to *Cat Facts*


Upvote for the gay guy from Star Trek.


Second place probably goes to [the great emu war](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War)


THIS has been deemed unnecessary


Okay, let's get it over with.  How much did Cutco pay you to make this post?


Please stop leaving idiotic replies to each and every post.


came to comment that i was not disappoint.  was disappoint that someone else was not disappoint first.


pussy. you're trying to say pussy.


You mean by like posting it on reddit?


A useless prick that won't leave his walled garden is the correct description.


Robby used to steal jokes from Mitch Hedberg.  He still does, but he used to too.


So would you propose we apply this to every case? Say my friend gets murdered and I saw the guy who did it. For whatever reason he gets off. Should I now go to jail for 25 years?


Gotta watch out for those Vegan police, three strikes and you're out.


Great, as well as the 7 minutes Stewart wasted of mine?


He keeps telling refs to kiss his black ass


Do YOU listen to yourself when you speak? We are talking about cartoons &#3232;\_&#3232;


You god damned hippies.  All these fine officers were doing their job properly.


Dislocated or broken? Come on. In high school I played an entire weekend tournament on two broken fingers on my shooting hand. Everyone on this guys balls for being tough is a bit much.


THAT'S ROMANTIC AS FUCK BRO. YOU GIVE ME A RING YOU HANDCRAFTED FROM ORE YOU SMELTED WITH THE BURNING FIRE OF YOUR LOVE AND I'D MARRY YOUR BEAUTIFUL ASS RAW


Does that really matter? Sounds like hippy mumbo jumbo to me


Grape answer: Grape him. Hard. Tie him to the radiator and just grape the fuck out of him.

edit: if you reply to this with "for decades and decades and decades," I promise it's been done before.


No big deal, he'll soon be killing sand niggers like the other "heroes."


her motherly instincts/spidey sense saved your mom and herself.


I rented an RV.  It was like $2000 between me and a friend.  That is not huge.  Now we are both screwed.


His face is the ultimate face of focus.


That is a walk, in fact, and I find it impressive enough that she can boast average walking speed with how big she is.


looks like a potato shoved into a stocking


Iran and Indonesia are not neighboring countries. And in Israel too, orthodox Jews believe gays should be stoned to death because it says that in the Jewish bible.


You mean, I had a twin brother?


No it didn't. I'm standing right behind you.

EDITH: holy downvote, batman. What did I do?


I tested your mom's tubes last night.  They sprang a leak.


They are not "born that way" that is a cop out.  If sexuality is set in stone are you OK with telling children who are confused about their sexuality that they are automatically wired to be an evolutionary failure?  Just accept that homosexuality is a mental disease and move on.


As an astronaut, I teared up at #1.


Now you've been sucked into my negative karma vortex!  MWAHAHAHAHA!

    Yeah, I'm just using this as a placeholder so I can extend the deleted combo in case you delete your post.


So, I wasn't planning on making any posts with texts with this account, but I feel bad getting this much support and not responding to everything. And frankly, I just don't paint fast enough to respond with pictures.

Anyway, thanks guys!


Wait you're telling me I can buy alcohol with a fake ID?


It seems like you're trying to cop out of answering the question. I don't appreciate that. This is a crap AMA.


redditor for 2 years

Nice!


Sir, we already didn't give a fuck to the last guy.


Yeah, this video is a bit disappointing, not really worth the submission to be honest.

There is no real content in this video.


Their story was that they just wanted to live in the mountains, herd goats and pray. There's a guy who is president in their country who is real bad (fact, he's called Karimov). Their boss was going to get on the phone with Bill Clinton and sort it all out. I didn't have a lot of faith in that so stuck with the plan of killing them and escaping.


I came here to sarcastically say 'Worst Show Ever', you're close enough to beating me to it. +1


Exactly. Think about pop culture! It would all be drastically different. Nicky Minaj, Kim K and the likes? All gone.


Found the asshole who has nothing better to do than to comment on things he doesn't like other than focusing on what he does.


They could probably snag Bill Pullman.


and then everyone imediatly decided to pretend they did not read the article on reddiquitte


> He is not a real prince; his mother was a slave and there are other brothers who are more competent

Well that is fucking comforting thing to hear in this day and age.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thoughts

Dumbass

EDIT: LOL, downvoting evidence which goes against the above assertation.  Classic.  You atheists are just as bad as the theists.


That's stupid. How are we supposed to have media driven public witch hunts if we don't even know the suspect's name?


>Koreans are quite racist,

So are you apparently

*Edit: Perhaps you guys are a little slow, but you do realize that saying "X race is Y" is in itself an assumption-filled, racist statement. I know what devoured's intent was, and I by no means actually meant to call him racist. I guess you can't really sound sarcastic over text, can you?


Even with that ending, it still makes me sad to see how awful people can be.


>There **is** a ton of idiots out in the world.


Drummer for a rock band

WWE

MMA

Boxing


Considering you're an electrologist, you probably think it's way more common than it is.  And we aren't making fun of her because she has it, we're making fun of her because she publicly displays it.


I fixed it, I hope this pleases you because I want you to be happy.


Trying to contact people for comment in a story that involves them is yellow journalism? What?


Fuck those kids. They're fucking assholes.


You need to get out more.


At first, Reddit was [like.](http://i.imgur.com/h2JFx.gif) Then it was [like.](http://i.imgur.com/N0zYp.gif) Now it's [like.](http://i.imgur.com/0LVhd.gif) In 20 seconds it'll be [like.](http://i.imgur.com/Oq20a.gif)


the OP's screenshot has three minutes between the time they joined the channel and the time they started spamming 'fag'.

someone comes into your channel, "hey can you relog you're using my name". "no we're in game". "we'll just get the admin to kick you".

BRING OUT THE PITCHFORKS!


Actually that boys body and DNA was still male, cutting off a penis doesn't turn a boy into a female.


Must have dropped his contacts


As the French said on 9/11, "We're all Americans today.". Today I say "We're all French today", my heart aches for you and your country.


http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/01/justice/ohio-bridge-arrests/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

It's amazing what the left will ignore if it doesn't fit with their little world view, even if it puts innocent Americnas in danger. Man the fuck up and admit that there are crazies that fall under your umbrella.

The problem is extremism. Adding the "right-wing" qualifier is pointlessly political.


I hate how despite me loving what I study, when they put exams about it my interest in it declines dramatically and inmediatly.


I don't know. Why doesn't one of the 625 people who upvoted it field this one.


You're fucked- the chances of not dying on all 100 tickets is .99^100 =.36, so you have a 64% chance of dying.


It's different, and you and everyone else in here knows it. Get off your high horse.


TIL how to tell port from starboard.


................It's the absolute very beginning when the dragon attacks the tower you run into.

Edit: Fucking really reddit? Someone doesn't get a shitty joke and you act like a bunch of assholes and mass downvote? Great show of maturity.


Agreed, my then-5-year-old daughter made a Santa out of several layers of construction paper, perfectly reasonable-looking Santa Claus, except he had a big black oval where his mouth goes. My buddy asked her what was up with that, and she said, "Sometimes Santa wakes up screaming"


Even you don't know what it is? Absolutely pointless.


And your social security number?


The true face of "pro-Palestinian" posters on reddit is the guy who posts this: "An abnormally high proportion of negroids are niggers. I do not know many black men."

http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/x06vr/guy_catches_bike_thief_red_handed/c5i2em3?context=3


It's too bad.  That rug really pulled the room together.


Why? Because he refuses to work where he is paid inhuman wages and treated like not a human being? More people need to do that.


Yeah but those same Native Americans were famous for taking constant cheat days and not doing enough crossfit. They invented the cheeseburger, after all.


Saw interviews, she's a vapid little cunt, also, little miss sunshine sucked.


It's definitely sped up. Unnecessarily so, too. It's exciting enough in real time.

As a side note it is always awesome seeing your hometown at the top of /r/WTF.

Edit: Here's the video http://youtu.be/qfdRALis3lQ


I BETTA COVAH MAH MOUTH, I THINK IT DUN BROKE


The world's tallest tree is a coast redwood in California, measuring more than 360 ft or 110 m.


OP doesn't have to try, everyone aside from Liverpool fans already does.


Absolutely Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah. The other versions just do not come close. The emotion in Buckley's version makes my chest get tight every time.


What the fuck do you mean why?


It's been 21 minutes. Is everything OK?


He's in the AFC championship. Not on the verge of winning the super bowl.


Yeah it absolutely means you are fucked up.


I would have to agree. Jesus was very anti-establishment. I mean just look at the table flipping incident in the temple in Jerusalem for example. Surprisingly apolitical as well.


Charged with what and why

downvotes: you chuckleheaded shitfucks that support this idea, i hope that one of your friends who you could not restrain beats someone to death adn you're now charged with murder as well. Fucking morons.


Seems to be the point of the thread, really


Because it is ridiculous to consult anyone before you remove anything.

Do you know how much shit gets removed every single day?


Not the most tactful thing to do, but it might have been a shitty attempt at humor in a situation that scared him. Ease the tension or whatever.


>Those artifacts belong to Humanity

So do you!

Wait, that didn't quite work. Can you rephrase that slightly?


Which bear? Because I'm pretty certain the Bearnstain Bears used to be Jewish.


Upvote for obscure movie reference (for a movie I otherwise would have not heard of due to my Biology Class)


AJAJAJAJAing this whole page gave me an idea... comment on the top comment of the top comment.. AJAJAJAJAJAJA


Theft of a promotional, and thus free product?


This man is a genius.


Misgendering someone isn't a trivial thing, I was just pointing it out. And calling it "scary" is transphobic, although I don't think that's what beatphats meant. Sorry I rustled ur jimmies!


And then we have subreddits for cumming on figurines.  It takes all types.


This all the way. Even if it's total bullshit, it'll still get in her head and get you more sex. And if this fails, and she still has deep seated guilt, fucking get her drunk and loose.


I lurked for a year, signed up for my first account in 2007. I remember the good old days- music fucking everywhere, and no ads.

**Edit: By "I lurked for a year", I meant I had been visited since 2006. And that's great that you were there before me. You don't have to point out that I wasn't the first person on the site.**


So you basically went down the list clicking anything with an image thumbnail? My mistake, please continue with turning reddit into shit.


Unfortunately you're right. "Hey, we're so open-minded, guise! I'm a gay lesbian transvestite girl who is into BDSM! Oh, you're a christian? Well fuck yoou!"


I do not think it means what you think it means.

Edit: so many down votes... So many. :O


I think France_is_Bacon would be an awesome username.


Simple possession of a penis is enough to be considered a likely rapist, nowadays. Thanks, feminism.


You're like all the bad parts of a high school textbook rolled into one.


lik dis if u cry evertim


A Majora's Mask speedrun.


Why should the OP start everything fresh when the most viable solution is to end his meaningless life?


I don't even understand what's going on there

<3


Mushrooms? Yay! Driving while intoxicated? NO. BAD.


I wish you had something to add to the conversation but, sadly, you do not.  Downvote.


Boink 'n Broadcast

Edit: Thank you thank you for my first gold!  This year is starting out awesome!


just having some fun. No need to get upset


Well.... the two on my right side are full sized kidneys, but they work as one single kidney, so I don't think I can split that up.


You mean, what I didn't do there?


They think it's better for a pet to die than live under "servitude".


GTFO

Edit: Come on, guys, look at his username. It's a *joke*!


I hate that when a girl sleeps with many guys she's a slut, but when a guy does it once he's all of the sudden *"gay."*


Nah, he escalated the fight by pursuing her.


Those girls look like popular kids. Reddit does not like popular kids.


They can't

Humans are one species. If they were to create a virus that attacks black people it would attack all humans. The only difference is skin so unless its a virus that targets people with high levels of melanin (which just isn't feasible) theres no way to make one.


We aren't, but mostly because she asked if we could pay for the tiny dent in her car's bumper because it was new and "the dog should have been in the house".
Our friendship had been falling apart for about a year,  but that was the end.... or the icing on the cake, if you will.


Good Lord. You again? Get the fuck out. We're not fans of misogynists here.

Edit: Please, check this asshole's post history. He is not here to discuss anything and brings in a special fan club everywhere he goes that does vote brigading.


Man's best friend with benefits.


NIEL DEGRASSE TYSON IS A NIGGER

edit: omg why you downvote?!?!


sometimes when she's got that much mileage on her you don't have a choice


Like anything by this guy is original?

EDIT: oh boy, have I struck gold here!


As an Optometrist I see what you did there.


But it's hardly life or death for him. As the evil mastermind of the series who also happens to be an incredible waterbender, I'd expect him to bend a bubble or something around him and think about what to do. It was very out of character for him to suddenly make a rash decision, especially in his home turf.


"Dear Reddit: I am caring, nice, and help all my lady friends whenever I can. I do everything I can to make them happy, but they all are super bitches that hate me because I'm not attractive enough."


One doesn't simply add a "Lord of the Rings" reference in this thread...


"The key to beating early force fields is to just keep jamming zerglings up that ramp." - PigSlam


More akin to circumcision.

EDIT: Well, there's no getting this comment back. Mine was a minor semantic disagreement over the use of the word "castration." I was mistaken, continue to nuke this site from orbit.


I'm watching it at work, I probably look like an idiot smiling about doing work.

Jokes on them though.. I don't do shit here.


$5 says hes a nigger.


My favorite is the mod that lets ruins give you any tech.

*the year was 0026 AD*

Jets have flown over the small city of Mecca. We retaliated with our giant death robots, until the Danish nuked us.

Research continues on the mysteries of gun powder.


Woo, Crosby is less of a bitch because of your comments. Wait... No he isn't. LOL


Oh, man. All that sounds horrible, have a hug.


If you can open it and your stuff's right there, so can anyone else. Shut down for the same reason you lock your front door every time you leave the house.

But hey, what do I know? I'm the kind of guy who has full disk encryption run on every shutdown.


Lots of answers to one-day old Redditors, too.

Blowing smoke.


cancer is for natural selection, all good.


That's a weird one, kinda like how when the sun eventually blows up and destroys Earth, they will be no evidence, other than a few probes in space, that we ever existed at all.


WRONG! I SAID IT WAS A BAD IMAGE OF HER. Curvy also has to so with her whole body. Having big boobs doesn't make you curvy. She looks like she works out. She might have a more lean/slender frame. I'd know since I'm a frequent poster to /r/conspiracy therefore I am a top mind.


Hear ye hear ye.  Let it be known, that on 26 February, 2012, NoBridge gave a fuck.


Speaking as a heterosexual male, yes, I do not enjoy having a man ejaculate onto my face.

Call me silly, I guess!


To be honest, I've been guilty of that. Which is why putting new magic in the show - new illusions - is extremely exciting. At any one moment, my team and I are working on 20 new pieces, so we're constantly involved in the creative process and trying new things. Every show, though, is a bit different - the audience changes everything.


he eventually gets all back money back via consumption chain.


Mine are in a toddler.

Edit: Just kidding! It's a corpse.


LOL hahaha a fire reference in a spider thread, how did you think of that?


Wow, thank you: I JUST got that.


First to downvote C-C-C-Combo Breaker!!!!!


Once you go black, you don't go back.


I think coffee being hot is a given, you don't make coffee in your house, spill it on your legs and then sue the company that made your kettle because the water was too hot.


He's just a cheerful little guy.  We had finished eating at buffet once, and as we passed each table on the way out he said bye to every person he saw.


Unrealistic: The only thing you see niggers steal is a truck, none of them are actually shown smoking crack cocaine even though they all are off screen.


Hallelujah, Holy Shit!  Where's the Tylenol?


> It is important that surveys like this be taken with a grain of salt.

~~The same could be said for your heavily biased comment.~~ Yes the press is extremely healthy in the US. Nothing to see here.

Edit: Wow. This thread is fucked, 10 downvotes in 5 minutes.


It's like hunger games for you, isn't it???

edit: Thank you to the nice redditor that gilded me!


2002 was 13 years ago, bud. Time to get over it.


HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU TAKE KARMA


seriously lighten up shittsburgh nobody's gonna bother with your city. nobody would mind if crosby, rapelisberger, and and shitty mellon arena got blown off the map.


So, what you're saying is that pointing out lack of etiquette *is* lack of etiquette?

That......... makes sense.


You sure? I'm pretty sure he did.


Putting the 'funnel' in anus.


Advantage to what though?

What is the end game?

Having your message spread to the masses?


my first thought was "finally!" and then never wanting to do it again. But I keep coming back to it. Here's one I did in Sweden last year: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_SbSF6q4Yg&feature=youtu.be

I'm very good at THPS, especially when it comes to revert combos on vert

I would probably be doing video editing or production if I didn't skate.


Get chat restriction for negative behavior over suicidal depression.

Get excluded from celebration due to chat restriction.

Thanks Riot.  Times like these literally make me want to kill myself.


Pizza delivery is killing my PC budget .


stupid nigger fcking dog should have been the one to die


She is laughing hysterically right now


>Trust me, if they took the effort to follow you around and downvote you, you'd have far more downvotes than you do.

I also make good comments, so people feel conflicted. What can I say? I'm a complicated man.


Dicks warm your heart?


Dont know why the downvotes. Boston sports teams and thier fans are the WORST.


Relevant

http://i.imgur.com/7yNVFQD.jpg


Nope, just sharing his story.  He had to be diverted with his coaches minutes before he was about to get to the Finish Line.  He has no concept of what happened, and after he got his finisher's medal he was happy


That's *so classy*, though.


So if I see someone texting while driving I should call 911 as well? Because it is just as bad; or how about eating while driving?


Most accidents happen on paved roads. Solution: Drive on the sidewalk


If this is his property he does not need to pay him anything, he can call the police. Oh right, we hate cops, lets pay the guy 20 dollars.. that will keep him away.. ಠ_ಠ


Produced by M. Night Provolone.


I'm not disagreeing with the fact that if the manager of the team says it's no chips, then there should be no chips and no bitching. He was a 35 year old man, he's not 12, so he should be able to accept that.

But at the same time they weren't your chip-shop chips, they were zero-fat healthy options


This is called the [Dunning-Kruger Effect](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect)


Because it's a human life?


I have baths all the time, I was unaware this wasn't gender neutral. Though to be fair reading this thread has brought me to the conclusion that I'm actually a woman.


How about no.

Pun threads suck more dick than a person who sucks on more than their fair share of penises.


I have no idea.

But I remember being absolutely terrified I would flunk out of 4th grade because I couldn't write in cursive. And I was equally scared my first day of 5th grade. I thought my new teacher would realize I couldn't do it and send me back.

&#3232;\_&#3232;


From post to an aetheralloy conspiracy theory in 8 minutes. Bravo.


You were just wrestling, right?


**ITS CALLED CUNT FUDGE**

**DO YOU WANT TO GET SOME CUNT FUDGE**

**IS YOUR MOTHERS BODY IN THE TRASH CAN YET**

**HAVE YOU COLORED YOUR BLOOD**

**CAN YOU FUCK YOUR WAY TO THE UNDERPANTS FACTORY**

**HOW MUCH CUNT FUDGE CAN YOU HANDLE**

**CUNT FUDGE**

**CUNT FUDGE**

**THERE ARE BAD PEOPLE IN HERE**

**THERE ARE BAD PEOPLE IN HERE**

**THERE ARE BAD PEOPLE IN HERE**


Wait, was it surprisingly effective at wooing her or getting you a free drink? I ask not because I'm lonely, but because I am a frugal alcoholic.


If we didn't villify the necessity of women taking responsability for their own safety, this might not have happened. Chances are, though, tha this chick has become a raging femenazi who acts as if her rape was a devlish act of nature that nobody could have predicted even though she had been warned multiple times that this was inevitable on a long enough timeline.


i second this proposition.


He won't becAuse we'll know he's a guy.


What kind of kid can't even keep his parents marriage together.


Ok, that makes more sense. Because he was already pretty evil from the Brits side of things.


absolutely, whenever I see a quote of him posted somewhere I have to double check if I'm not on /r/cringepics...


If there's no dehumanizing element to it, how are we as a society supposed to convey to teenagers that *it is not okay* to have unprotected sex with anybody who smiles at them and make a bunch of babies they can't afford to raise?


True story. WTF other people. Must never have had to have a dog (best friend) put down.


I see what you did there!


VI here. Afraid of VII because VII VIII IX.


It's just a picture of turkey skin or something stupid, why are you spamming it all over every inch of reddit..


"Russell Brand saw the McDonald's sign 'billions and billions served,' and knew what he had to do."

FYI, upon reading this thread, my wife assured me she has not slept with Russell Brand.


You see the issue is that this dislike for fat people from other non-hamplanets actually fuels my desire to lose weight, unlike all the "you can do it!" bullshit.


How to start a family feud. Tell people you went to look for grandpa's 10k but only found 8k.


Incoming Soviet Russia joke in 3...2...1...


I made my account a month before he made RedditNoir. Also, I'm not a cunt.


No, fak u Dinnerbone. But seriously, I hate you.


I was very impressed with the scale of this thievery. I've actually just been laughing about it all day.


I'm so fucking tired of these Phoenix pussy's, I never get this mad about a game, but Jesus Christ I wanted Russell to smash all their fucking heads in.

Edit: Im cool now, I was very pissed.


Did you get the bread first?


Guess how I know you're not American?


Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut;
Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt;
I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus;
Now I'll go home and change


Ron Paul does not want to deprive anyone of life or liberty at the federal or state level.


But in which direction would you turn it?

PS: Straight male? Sure thing, cherrycreampie.


What the fuck is wrong with you? Begging for money on the streets like some kind of a nigger is amusing to you? You make me sick.


Harvest the human horn!


You can claim what you want on the web. Perhaps you were raised Catholic. But your political views align perfectly with Jewish ethnic hatreds.

Also, I didn't create that imgur post. Someone else did. And I most certainly never referred to anyone on Reddit as being a government shill.

Is lying a congenital habit for you?


No, *imaginary* chicks.


It's a giant pet peeve of mine when people plagiarize.


Fucking stupid temperature scale?


Leg shot. Couple leg shots.


Probably not as straight as you think there chief.


I just assume that these people have terrible social skills and cannot understand the difference between complimenting somebodies figure and demanding sex.  It's ironic how these people are trying to shame straight men for their sexuality, but are often fighting for acceptance other types of sexual orientation.  These people are unwilling to believe that not every straight man wants to rape them.


Wait, sorry, that was just what her designer would sing whenever he saw Volty.


Can we please stop calling them "the gAang"?


*"I'd rather be a crying pussy than a faggy goth kid."* Truer words have never been spoken.


They'll kill him, if what you say ever becomes a reality. They'll murder him live, on tv, so everyone understands what happens when you step out of line.


To me thats like saying a cop should never be attacked.  Its not right, but it comes with the job.


"That's my car! That's my car!" Best drunken riot chant. Ever.


Being fat and thinking it's healthy is worse for your brain


You didn't have to give credit, but you did. I appreciate that.


Not complaining, I think it's humorous. I sure can be annoying and I am a girl that uses Facebook, so you're 100% correct. Not gonna argue that one.


Thanks for the brohug.  It's tough to keep a company operating and making sure the lives of 15 - 20 people aren't impacted when there is a bad day.


I'm not fat in anyway, exercised all my life, play a lot of sport, so you are making assumptions that are incorrect. Are you stupid or just ignorant?


Sepsis is a bitch.

"Well, you are infected.."

"Where?"

"Um....  I'm going to say... everywhere"


I'm downvoting you because you didn't praise this film like the cinematic epitome it is.


I was reading that whole thing thinking "when is this going to get embarrassing?"


Yeah fair play to him for battling to get back to a job that pays at least £40,000 a week. Lesser men would give up.

Edit: I find Snooki attractive too.


Are you dead yet?  No?

&nbsp;

THEN IT'S WORKING.


YOUR ASSUMPTION LEVEL HAS BROKEN THE SCALES


Ha ha the irony! Yo dawg, I heard you like hate so I left my hate so I can hate whilst you hate.


They are both stick-on. the eyelashes are just normal fake ones you can buy anywhere. the eyebrows are specially made, they're clear plastic with real hair sewn in. A pair of eyebrows can last me months if I take care of them well. In the beginning, I'd have to re-do my eyebrows over and over to get them to be even, but now it's just second nature.


Out of all the bad things she did why is this the worst? I mean I have seen plenty of people dressed up as Hitler for Halloween so I don't get it?


You are completely correct about the weight/fat.  The weight gain was primarily from depression.  I am actually down a little bit and it is slowly, SLOWLY coming off but I will probably require bypass surgery to get the majority of it off.  Thank you for the kind words.


No, I'm talking about the bi people who live straight lives or those few who are not technically closeted but identify as "gay"


That's not an excuse.  Go by car, boat, or train with private cabins.


Careful.  He could have called The Police.


Talk about overusing *that* word, holy shit.


OH MY GOD my mom does this shit, and passed it down to my sister.  A few weeks ago, sister and I spent the night at our grandfather's house and in the morning she ran out of her bedroom yelling, "GRANDPA!  LOOK HOW WELL I MADE THE BED!!!"  She is 29 years old.


I dont think you understand how time works lol...


It boggles the mind when people clap at the end of a movie. Do these people think the actors or directors are hiding behind the screen?


The world of strawman arguments and pretending anyone significant said this shit is acceptable?


>  i just tittered loudly in the library

I don't know what that means but it sounds like it deserves to be its own post in this thread.


What's really sad, is that I can't tell if you're trying to lie to me, or yourself.


My b/f wasn't aware that there were male and female lions and tigers. He thought lions were male and tigers were female and they mated... I thought/hoped he was joking about this conclusion.

He wasn't..


The only people that use racism, etc. online are children and stoners. If you're playing games with children and stoners, then you're not playing the right games.


I want to but I feel like it makes my car rolling probable cause.


Screw you original-finder (-: You always call me out (-: 99% of the time it is my original work anyways (-:

Enjoy my **DOWNVOTE**

soon you will reach **DOWNVOTE OBLIVION**

Does anybody know how to delete comments on your own thread??

Edit: Ha! I am getting MORE LINK KARMA!!! How do you like that, douchebag?!?! (-:


that deserves a sequel


I am now able to confirm this comment is spammy and offensive to others on this site. The comment in question is spam and contains racist remarks. Did i get it right?

Upvote me please so i am able to continue to eliminate spam on this site and help everyone.


Not at all. As I've said in other places, the dog was just doing its job, it was behind two gates so it's not like it's out and about attacking people, the only reason it got me was because I was a friend that let myself in. All in all it was an unforeseeable accident that no one is to blame for.


Try to laugh your ass off in front of them, that always cheers people up.


not that impressive.... not that impressive...
> into the air.

 WHAT THE FUCK?


Damn. Suck his dick, why don't you?


wow, if they could use this information for transitioning MtF, whenever someone gets hungry their fresh-minted vag will get moist, yo


no he should be deported


*It's Always Sunny in Alexandria*


Terrible gameplay designs were removed and then, oddly, Alliance didn't win anything.


Well someone's been giving this a lot of though I see.


Having had my child spat on by a cyclist through an open window, I assure you there are as many "meatheads" on each side of this debate.


His belief guided that selfless act.

Don't forget belief. He wouldn't want that.

*Edit: Thanks for gold, brother!*


As someone who eats at restaraunts a lot, I think that's pretty disrespectful.

They call you a server for a reason. Your not a jester or a comedian. Do your job,


Cool.  Downvoted for your pointless response.


Yeah, but that's not a big deal. You can just punch it back to normal.


Today, children, we're going to learn about underlying narratives.


now we look for the same story but from a 19 year old female's perspective...


To clarify you need the broken steel DLC.


Well, 3 tries if you count the one with the real dad.


not salty just felt like being a dick sorry


If you watch Heroes backwards you realise that it's been getting progressively better over time.


great question... Talking more on benevidz kinda complex quesion


That explains why I was having such a difficult time understanding his Spanish.

EDIT: (because it was not Spanish)


Okay, as long as you don't get your testicles tangled because I was bored and felt like doing something stupid.


So they'd go out and beg for food internationally, then return home and say they bullied another country and took their lunch money?  They're even shittier than I thought.


Oh man, I made it to SrS. I feel like a celebrity. I advise you to read the original post that I replied to before you pass your judgement on my commentary.


i started to a few times but everytime i log into netflix i see my buddy (her now 4 year old son that i raised for 3 years) has been watching the shit out of cartoons on netflix. he knows i was the one that made netflix work and i just cant stand the thought of his 4 year old mind thinking i took it away from him. i had hoped she would just make an account.


With atheism comes an adherence to science, logic, and reason.  Without those this never would have happened.


I try not to masturbate but when I do, yes.


So not listening to the shit the radio shoves down your throat is lewronggeneration now? Maybe he just likes a different type of music?

Edit: http://i.imgur.com/k7pNWh2.gif


I HATE EA TOO

UPVOTES TO THE LEFT


you missed the entire point of my argument, enjoy ignorance jackass


Indeed, it is such a good day to be a mammalian biped!


who isn't an Arsenal fan these days


Having been a young girl there will come a point where she discovers other uses for them.


She didn't say he raped her with his eyes, she said she FELT LIKE he was.  Or in other words, she was creeped out by his stalking.


But he wasn't wearing a mask, you can't be a hacker if you don't wear a mask.

* [Hack](http://toomuchgaming.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/hacker.jpg)
* [the](http://www-bgr-com.vimg.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/computer-hacker-snooping-stealing110615115643.jpg)
* [planet](http://cdn-static.cnet.co.uk/i/c/blg/cat/software/hacker.jpg)


Are you kidding me? Here's why it's WTF material:

Dude1: Hey man look at this chick I found.

Dude2: Whoa dude she's hot.

Dude1: Yeah she's actually the world's youngest transgender.

Dude2: You mean...

Dude1: She's a boy.

Dude2: What the fuck...

Do I really need to underhand you this any more?


"Pagliacci" means "Clowns" in Italian.


If something is gonna impede on my fun, then I'll have fun abusing them instead.

People are inherently selfish, it's part of survival. You don't go out and try to feel empathic for everyone you see on the streets.


Meh, with an ~85% cure rate for childhood acute lymphoblastic leukaemia, can't complain.


I am a schoolteacher, so yes.


It is fraud on the network security level.

Edit: Full disclosure, I am on a US Airways flight right now using Gogo Inflight Wifi as a type this. The symptoms of SSL jacking can be seen by simply going to any https website like Youtube or Facebook. My advice to anyone is to either not use Gogo or if you must, use it with a VPN (which is what I am doing now)


downvoted to oblivion.


And also wash out colour.


.....really? you cant wait? you actually think about  like what 4 people who stream low rated league of legends where half of their comedy is just them essentially screaming?

wow...and i thought sodapoppin fans were sad.


Studying abroad or studying a broad?


Convicted? Perhaps u mean executed.


You have to be that kind of person to put in the work required to get to the position of President in the first place.


wait how did i fake a screenshot of a personal pm.

lmao ur all so fucking gullible. got could tell u i murdered a baby and ud all believe it.


You get banned for life for that, and the ashes get cleaned up, or the water gets dumped.

If you respect your loved one's remains **do not do this.**


you don't need a closed circuit to measure a voltage - just think about a battery. there's no circuit connecting the terminals when it's not hooked up to anything, but there's still a voltage between them.


I have a similar story.


How could it possibly be real? It's a professionally shot and edited video.

I wonder what they're advertising.


You are a terrible human being, and I hope to shake your hand some day.


Humblebrag megapoints


I gave that bitch an interrobang. Bitches love interrobangs‽


There are 21/22 years olds that can be called "veterans" because they served a few months of their 4 year contract guarding a pot farm or a palace in a desert.


What in the fuck kind of novelty account is this


She's just a girl; I'll just tell her to make me a sandwich lols


"Awesome?  What, like a hot dog"

"Like a hundred billion hot dogs, sir.  Sir, it's the dogs bollocks."


I love how this teenage faggot has to start off the video showing off his computers. What a cunt.


Irene, why am I peeing like I just had sex last night?


I can read. But I wouldn't be surprised if your comment spawned a thread of Tea Party bashing, even if that wasn't your intention.


And elephants love peanuts


java code can be automatically ported to C# since java is basically a retarded subset of C# 2.0 from 2005. There can be a *convert-your-crappy-java-code-from-the-90s-to-a-proper-decent-modern-non-retarded-language-as-a-service* in the cloud or something.


Ah yes, German - the universal language of romance.

SCHNELL!! SCHNNELLER!! MEIN GOTT IM HIMMEL! JA JA JA JAAAA!!


Your username is boring, and you should be despondent.

Edit: *Woosh*


Office party with an open bar and work the next day? Well there's your problem.


SRD hates the other mods of LGBT too, they just hate RA more.


This happened not only in TSM's game and somehow TSM is the only team that makes a drama about it. Feels like they still have to talk stuff to make the noise around them after they got knocked out of the tournament.


0_0

If it's not too difficult do you mind elaborating on what your living conditions were and what kinds of....physical and mental stresses you were subject to?


pretty sure that only applies if they're spreading lies

Still, OP could deny the truth unless there's evidence


And then they do it for karma. Because this is reddit.

And then they do it. For karma. Because this is reddit.


You don't actually *have* a point.  Do you?


Why do you use your powers to make us sad?


I think she looks lovely. I don't think it's a terrible sin for her to want a bit of attention for that now and then. We all do I'm sure. And I want to point this out so the OP doesn't think it's a personal attack, but we were really debating posting yourself to /r/prettygirls and the nature of confidence v arrogance.


My kind of girl. [](/megustaperfect)


You haven't see the Texan lady with her cringy attitude in the Capitol speech. People like you are the cancer.


>The feline equivalent of screaming "COME AT ME BRA" through a megaphone whilst throwing your Shit.

Should try that in class tomorrow to establish dominance.


You to Rose?
FTFY-
too* - Sorry buddy, this is reddit after all
edit: Guys, the little * is the fixed bit. You never heard of that before? Saying "I fixed it" then giving the fixed thing back, rather than giving it back and saying "I fixed it".


I don't understand how that much concentrated energy radiating in all directions doesn't vaporize everything within many light years of the source.


warranty is not a verb


I once ate pizza with 5 Korean girls and they all chewed with their mouths open. I don't know if that was a Korean thing, or if all the girls were just disgusting. To be fair, they were weirded out by people letting their dogs sleep in their beds.


Just go there.

Geez.


HA! We jokingly said his therapist at the Comic con panel!


No, let them all die so I might have a chance on beautiful girls like that!


Heath Legder: Gay to the Extreme!


Wishful thinking. We have something in the United States called the First Amendment. It says: "Congress may make NO Law abridging the freedom of the press." If the press wants to hack into your cell phone, they are free to do so because there is no law saying they cannot do that.


"We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better than he was. Cuter, softer, cuddlier."


For what? Eating remains?


Aw. Now I'm sad to be an American.


I don't think the context makes a difference. Regardless on how you view what the worker is doing, there should never have been a photo taken of that. That's just in bad taste.

That being said, it made me say WTF, so upvotes OP.


Represents a scene in the Bhagavata Purana when Vishnu attempts to touch Shiva but cannot because her hands are serpentine, destructive, representing the duality of creation and death


Plankton: Ready to make some patties?

Spongebob: Eh. I don't really feeeeeel like it.


That is the worst sentence I've read all day.


Shutup you paid Nvidia shil!


Or don't go tenting in -35. It's -35 right now where I live and I don't know why anyone would want to sleep outside.


I think if he were in a collision that would be mentioned. By the looks of him he was a heavy alcoholic, so I'm going to have to assume alocholism related renal failure.

Edit: It was a completely plausible explanation to his death. No disrespect, I bet the guy was super cool.


Im crying my eyes out over your guys generosity. I think the worlds going to be okay as long as there are people like all of you around.


There's nothing funny about those dicks.  They are laughing at their audience as they lower the bar further and further.

I don't know how you can care enough about music to learn how to make it, and then throw away that talent on saccharine, money-grubbing commercial nonsense like that.


Also, the movie adaptation of Lost in Space began filming in 1997. This fact bums me out. It's like, by the time whatever year Avatar took place in comes around, instead of exploring new worlds and meeting new species, we'll probably just be making a holographic remake of Avatar.


Because 5 year olds use exacerbate and excreted all the time...


Yeah, not as fucked up as having acid thrown in your face because someone else couldn't control their repressed sexuality/familial dispute/anger/fear/religious psychosis.

Edit: added word
Edit: and another


for a very long time women were not allowed in the armed forced. they insisted. they were warned. sure is asking for it. now I feel bad for the not-good-enough remaining 70%

^suck ^on ^that ^SRS


TIL Mold goes to war with other colonies of mold. It's just like us.


Nobody is coddling fat people...


Was he inside the woods...or were the woods inside him?


Intolerant of insanity.

EDIT: Can someone actually explain to me how this theory isn't insane instead of just downvoting me?


100,000 Redditors are reading this and wondering how that guy can get a girlfriend while they somehow can't.


Blaming your own poor judgment on the CEO of the company you buy things from?

ಠ_ಠ


The required specs were SUUUUPER low... I bet you could run it.


Well excuse the fuck out of me!


Canada reporting in. This is 100% fact.


There are very few ways to call someone stupid as fuck in a respectful way.


"Ten" is Vegas slang for bet.
That's not true. I just made that up.


just because something is competitive and requires some physical exertion, doesn't mean it's a sport.

I can sit in the stall next to my buddy and try to shit faster than he does... that doesn't make it a sport.


Well, best of luck, kids are great. My daughter is 13 now.

Awesome, I talked to Mila Kunis today :D


but true primary colors are red blue green .....


You aren't curious why a cop is randomly stopping by your girlfriend's house?


410ham pulls one of the oldest jokes in the book. Obviously 410ham is unoriginal, without imagination and really not worthy of all the upvotes.


**For anyone who didn't see the original comment. Roughly remembered:** As a teen he got a girl he liked to come to his place and play on a Nintendo game. He got her to play the "pink kirby". After she left he licked the the game controller she used while playing as her character.


Man United fans are pathetic xD


The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had.


I'd respond in detail but I'll just get downvoted and no one will see it.


WHAT HAPPENS IN 2019

* People over the age of 64 are rounded up and placed in FEMA camps.

WHAT HAPPENS IN 2023

* Generalissimo for Life Obama orders the yearly cloning and abortion of baby Jesus.


How do you seriously hurt someone by pulling their hair, like it was done in this video?


Shit son, allow me to introduce background legolas.

[Help I am lost](http://i.imgur.com/28NajT4.gif)

[Staring into your soul](http://i.imgur.com/CTGXDvu.gif)

[High as a kite](http://i.imgur.com/c49f8mr.gif)

[Thinking about boobs](http://i.imgur.com/lwKLcNV.gif)

edit: gold? have this [bonus gif](http://i.imgur.com/2Lup0Zh.gif) as thanks


Any player who at 19 needs 2-3 years of consistent first team football is bad.


Needless to say, uncomfortable


Until you realise he supports a supposed paedophile.


The part of my brain that makes me a nerd and the part that controls my penis would have a war that would probably result in my death.


My kid having an iPod == me being a lazy parent. You're argument is bullet proof.


On the can, made me laugh my poop out.


...than all of reddit combined!


>The title of it is ~~"Condescending Wonka"~~ for a reason.

"Creepy Wonka"

FTFY


"I'm going to make a movie... It's gonna be called The Last Nigga on Earth, starring Tom Hanks."-Paul Mooney.


You seem to be forgetting the monthly cost.


>**I AM JUDGING YOU AND SO IS EVERYONE ELSE.**

&#3232;\_&#3232;


If it was coming from anyone other than andrewsmith1986 I'd give it the benefit of the doubt, but knowing that guy...


Quick, the refrigerator is over there!


I find it disturbing in the extreme that Conde Nast won't support Prop 19, but has no problem with hosting a site that encourages the sharing of images of underage girls for the purposes of fap material.


Yeah not many people expected Barbara Bush to become president but I did


*We been spendin' most our lives livin' in an Amish [Paradise](http://imgur.com/A9fN4)*


Holy shit that's rough man, that must be rough. I'm sorry


You're a bumbling idiot. Hey why are you getting angry, it's not an insult it's just criticism ;)


I think it would be quicker to just tip them back over with a crane.


Fuck that, Diablo 3 is exactly the game I wanted.  I'm down for way more games requiring an internet connection if I get a gameplay experience as fucking amazing as this.  I fervently hope the industry heads down this path with better online experiences.  I couldn't give a fuck less about single player ever again.


Maybe his mom was like, really good?


If they would have left /r/jailbait in place, we wouldn't have to look at it here.


Man, college must have been so much more awesome back in 1920.

Edit: "," for clarification. Also, as for prohibition, Canadian here so obligatory sorry.


ALL ABOARD THE KARMA TRAIN!!!!!!!


I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISTURB ME WHILE I'M CLEANING MY ROOM!


...So we told him not to do it again instead of just banning him, because he's a person.

Also, yes, if you can't handle what the internet potentially has to offer, you shouldn't ~~not~~ go it alone. I don't know why that isn't obvious.

> fuck off

As much as I can.


If you are being arrested, you have the right to remain silent. Fucking. Literally.

Being pulled over? Be polite and speak.


it's called leaving...


I thought you said you had to go back and make sure you didn't actually do that.


100% agree. So immature.


As fucked as this is, I can see problems with a capital murder charge sticking since it's serriously doubtful that the prosecutors will be able to prove intent to kill.

I figure she's more likely to get felony murder or something along those lines.


Was expecting an arrow to the knee...


*Wakes up from coma, finds out about planking,* **turns onto stomach**, *goes back into coma.*


What amount of civilian deaths are acceptable? Otherwise nuking the entire middle east into a lifeless wasteland would be acceptable by your logic


Those cars were very similar, but only the Pontiac Tempest had positraction. Well, that and the Corvette, which would NEVAH be confused for a Buick Skylark.


*Women are just as good as men! Lots of times we're better!*


8/10 - Score based on lack of "thee"s and "thou"s, but sufficient for an upvote.


Go fuck yourself.

Edit: I will go down with my ship.


"I got a blank space baby, and I'll write you name." (Starbucks cups)


Reddit make me proud and somebody link the video. I know I can google it but REDDIT MAKE ME PROUD.


I'm both awestruck and terrified. This is true talent.


That just doesn't happen. Really, no one is directly threatened to be killed, injured, or violated every day by different people. That's just outlandish and you're making false claims.


Wow that's fucked up.


??? i dont gettit??? and before some looser tells me to google the name, yes i did already did 0__0


I don't even get the joke.

I could understand somebody saying that they were randomly wrecking somebody's yard when they were actually doing official business.

I could also understand somebody making a joke about being a vampire, maybe digging up another vampire, while they were doing official business.

But why the fuck would a vampire be vandalising your yard for no reason?


I know they are letting these people get married HERE. IN AMERICA.


Gamer = Homosexual Elf

EDIT: My first gold! Thank you kind stranger!


He's still a scrub but Kerr seems to be better than Mark Jackson at hiding his deficiencies. I bet the FO would be more than willing to trade him for a late second round.


Bro we have the best girls at our parties.


lol

well, i mean if you could pull your prentious head out of your own ass for two seconds you might see that it's funny and you're a self-important douchebag all at the same time.  ;)


"About two seconds ago, when you asked that question."


Yea, I came across it in my phone, and decided to post it. I've been using this technique ever since that day!


Before you got married? Harlot!


I have 20 t-shirts, 5 collard shirts and 3 casual collard shirts


Sweatshirts too. Especially if they smell like you. :)


And also, you're lying if you say you don't see harden hate on here just about every day.


no he chained himself to them


>Yes there's a lot of rants, pettiness, and stuff you disagree with. That's because it doubles up as a place to vent. That's part of being a place to discuss mens issues.


"Dammit Terry, you gotta stop trying to form a union"

"Sorry man, i'll go wait in your car"

"Yeah yeah, let me just get the info from the manager again"


*downvote*
EDIT: Geez guys I changed it to an upvote! Happy!?
EDIT 2: Please... my comment karma hangs in the balance... :'(
EDIT 3: http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/082/456/Okay.png


'Villains!' I shrieked. 'Dissemble no more! I admit the deed! Tear up the planks! Here, here! It is the beating of his hideous heart!


You accidentally a "brown" or "immigrant" in there, I believe.

Jesus, I wasn't trying to be racist. I'm just stupid, and didn't get that "imported" was being applied to both the goods and the people.


Murderer here. Am high.


Probably because this happened in Canada and not America. The rest of the world isn't nearly as puritanical as Americans are. This kind of stuff is perfectly normal up here.


You mean you have to work hard for money?


I get that your incredibly biased, but name calling people who work hard every day and are people just like you and I use juvenile.