... I really don't think that's true. You have a source?


ya'lls user names made me giggle.


Are you under 14 years old? The game is a gimmick. Killing in a cutesy Disney world. Oh, how dark, Alice is covered in blood and smirks into the screen at the end. The trailer was about as subtle as an African American golfing. I cant see any worth in this other than shock value for the easily amused.


Faceplamming sounds uncomfortable and possibly explosive. I like it.


I used to be a forever alone dog face ... but then I took an arrow to the knee xD

**EDIT : 9GAG > REDDIT. FUCK OFF**


This comment has been edited before user account deletion to prevent storage.


How could you say that, immediately linking his lacking of funding to his personality? This is really sick.


who the hell scolds a child for READING of all things...


I typed it while shaking with rage.


Or just *much* quieter even.


You better apologize for playing a shooter on such monstrosities that is a console.


I feel like this is important.


Beat me to it.  Upboat,  good sir!


That is absolutely horrible, that poor girl.


Is it sexist to observe a lack of console skills in females?


Is it just me or is it crazy that their wings are strong enough to rip out their own guts, using only air as leverage?


I am not laughing. And how do you expect me to take you serious when you support Fnatec.


More->Less

Attractive->Repulsive

To->From

Woman->Men

Less repulsion from men. Seems to be in his favor.


Nah, I just *hope* he's kidding.


But it would be weird if I invited the driver in to eat with me... because I'm lonely.


NOT AS ROUGH AS 1969...NOW WUT I'M SAYIN?......well, you shouldn't. Because I don't even know what the fuck I'm saying. Its 2 o clock in the morning. I'm going to sleep now.


"Hey guys, look how many best friends I have woooo"


She is awesome, but how hard is it to bake real cookies? I think they even sell the dough ready to go.

Oh no, that will take another 5 minutes!


I'm pretty sure this is how the Israel-Palestine problems started.


That is the perfect weight.  Totally a giver because she hasn't given up yet.  I bet she did anal


...
There are fifty of those.

Edit: Forgot that there are states in other countries. *Whoops*


You better stop cuming on that picture of Alex. Pretty soon that picture will be all white


But what happens when he picks his nose or scratches his balls, and tries to take it back?

It's a dangerous game of chicken you've started here, and now the fights back on... and the stakes are even higher.


Lol I play the spy a lot. Every time I look at a cool hat I'm like why doesn't the spy have that hat. Seriously spy should have the most hats. Don't you think? Tha man wit many faces (or hats... Maybe?).


Abandonment.  Eventually most trainers grow up and give up on the dream for 'real jobs' and toss aside the Pokemon like a old digipet from elementary school.  Not only do they lose what is essentially their best friend, but they as lose a food source and a means of interaction; they have no one to live for since they've never lived for themselves beyond the little space in the ball.


>not using Nether Tentacles (this was pre patch as well)

yeah, and it shows, he kills so slowly

edit: what are you downvoting scrubs? that's the longest Asmo kill I've ever seen from a DH.  If he were using NT, that fight would last 30 seconds with his gear, pre-NT nerf.  Dude was running with (at-the-time) a sub-par build.


Maybe her "son" was actually an air conditioner?


I was thinking that but I couldn't make it out. I did see the name of a person that she was texting. I'm thinking I might be able to find that name on Facebook and find her in his friend list.

Edit: this comment was mildly facetious


this is disgusting and hilarious at the same time. reminds me of that Family Guy episode where they all drink ipecac
edit: holy fuck. didn't think this would get so many upvotes. thanks guys your making me blush...oh....I don't feel so go-BAAAAAA! BLAAAAAAAAAAGH! uh.....


Downvote All The Things!


OP should also buy a nice wooden bench to put the note on. It will enhance the effect greatly.


Then go fuck yourself. You soapy son of a bitch.


TIL Keiran Lee is a shill for Big Celery.


Yeah. But they're not dicks like LeBron and Wade are.


> There will always be a most powerful country, and thank the stars **and stripes** for that.

FTFY


no no, it's 1.4 billion. or a trillion i forget.


We keep trying to kick Delaware out but they just won't leave. So now we just ignore it. Ever hear about news happening in Delaware? Well now you know why not.


BAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahhahaHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahaha


If he had nailed it and started running on top of it for even 10 seconds, he would have been a god.


Apparently wanting equality is small-minded and hateful. You must really hate superheroes then. The Avengers are the ultimate Social Justice Warriors. Prof X? A raging SJW. Joss Whedon, the dude shaping the stories you guys love, total SJW.


With decent actors this would be a fun watch. You could actually have some really subtle overarching plot points, like with certain actors always being cast as each others' love interests, or AD style running jokes...


The 4chan post must have came from the post.


As long as they stay in the basket, I'd go with the badgers.  I don't want to be locked in a trunk with Dane because he's a nice guy and I wouldn't want him to have to be in a trunk just because I chose him over some badgers.


so you're proud of being an antisemetic piece of shit to the point where me bringing this up is a point of pride for you

fucking noted.


This man has a Phd in Adult Film.


Completely ignoring the rest of his specific questions, in hopes that generalized answer about the engine would suffice.

I have one for you, how do you expect to compete against free?


***GET IT GUYS? CUZ THE YEAR'S JUST STARTED. AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA***


Then why don't they just change the parity clause to say that? Wouldn't it make more sense for the parity clause to actually explain what it is instead of just being inaccurate?

Edit: Really? -30 for saying the parity clause should be accurately worded?


#nicolascageproblems


Water CANNOT be compressed.  Fact.  No discussion.  Fact.


I wasn't crying.  I only said "Boo who?"  Like "who" like "who's there?"  That kind of thing is what I meant.


Your child is the best gift you will ever receive.

I feel bad for you.


Oh, god, the poor girl.


Herp derpadee, anti-racist is code for anti-white, guise!


Some people are just assholes for the sake of being assholes.

Keep at it.  We love your artwork even if it's self described shitty.


By definition a minority cannot be racist, they can however be prejudiced.


When one oil/gas company I know's plant went down they were told it would be 26 weeks to get the new, specially fabricated machine to get the plant running again.

Screw that...they bought the company that made it, moved their order to the front of the line, got it in 12 weeks and then sold the small company.

They saved about $100 million dollars in lost profit by doing this.


Failing? The guy might have fallen out of popularity but he's very wealthy and successful as a result of his sports commentary. And he's not wrong - marching bands are very dorky.


Dennis: "What if it's a guy on the other side, wouldn't that be gay?"

Frank: "It's not gay if you just pretend it's a girl."

Dennis: "How's the other guy going to pretend it's a girl when he has a dick in his mouth?"

Frank: "That's his problem."


Stfu fag go back to 9fag


Oops - that was my account in my other browser.


Oh well that makes since but I don't think it's the preoders fault that developers can't make their games work day one after a year or more underdevelopment plus that makes since for like season passes or something similar?


I think you're answering your own question. Report this bitch for taking money out of your wallet to save herself. You're 20, jobs can come and go but being fucked isn't something to lay back and accept.

You can't be legally retaliated against.


Came here to make similar joke. Now that I see you have handled joke with class, I now congratulate and pronounce you GGG. All of the up votes to you Gregg!


Let's see her pull this shit at the orphanage.


>for you're stupid comment

When you add the apostrophe it means "You are", incase you didn't know.

OHNO! NOT MY VOTE THINGS :(

I need those for something


Probably not any bands I would have heard of though.


Not relevant. The point is that there are long lines for the ladies, so what would be the point?


It's so much more than just paper and coffee, turd.


The azera shouldn't have backed in then. Idk why so many back in park,  if he parked normal he wouldn't be over the line and could still get out, he just wanted to be a douche and park like a bad ass so he can save all of 3 seconds leaving in the morning


It seems our cyclist didn't see the driver....cumming.

*YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH*


I think that was Obi Wan Kenobi.


Duh she only dates black guys because when she brings them home her dad gets mad and that's the only time he shows any interest in what she does.


please explain in detail how this is clickbait


I once stopped in Gary, Indiana, at a Denny's at around 4am. Here's a tip: Don't do that.


MOMMYYY CAN I WATCH DA LORD OF DA WINGS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PWETTY PWEASE I BE GOOD GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But I would walk five hundred miles!


He's not a team player he's a points whore.


RIP in peace OP poster.

Edit: op is kill.


So many butthurt liberal losers in this thread.  It must be sad going through life resenting people who are more successful than you are, blaming others for your own failures.


And I think to myself, what a wonderful moon.


Please prove to me how OP's boyfriend is not qualified to handle wildlife, and show me your pictures of OP's environment where you prove that the wolf doesn't have any space. If you can't do that, stop jumping to fucking conclusions.


Especially since she said be as simple or complex as you want. Can't get any more simple than that, and it's correct. This girl is going places I tell you!


I don't know about that. Strikes me as one of those things which would be miserable if everybody did it all the time, but it makes you feel better that somebody does occasionally. Like if a supermarket discovered who was putting shopping back on the nearest shelf and followed them around with a megaphone. Petty. But also not at all petty and totally fair.


Just go to Brooklyn. You'll stay awake the whole way.


Yes, you don't experience it, it's not saying you don't get it, dumbass


It's a load bearing bean.


Watch what they are pictures?

Edit: guys calm down it was a joke...


If you just want to use your phone you can get a similar experience from OkCupid


I'd love to see that bum cheek.


I'm the opposite of that,
Weird mole? Probably nothing
Bump on my wrist? Probably nothing
Blinding pain in elbow? Probably nothing


The cartoon makes a very good point: *marriage is the union of a man and a woman.*


How does a garbage can fit into a bowl?


So your objection to eugenics is "What about my jerb?!"


What many people fail to grasp is that my phone is there for my convenience-- not theirs.


> If you want to be a little punk than that's your problem

Lol, it's called being an adult and mature. You should try it sometime. It's not worth having to deal with an assault charge over some shitty shoes.


You are so loved.  People would be jealous of what you've got.


dem panties. dat rustle.


A console? I'd start throwing feces on day 1.


YOU DID NOT KNOW THIS GUY BECAUSE THIS IS A SHITTY JOKE and/or URBAN MYTH


She opted instead for wide receiver.


That's a fucking pointless one.

LOL how wood u drive?

Now I know you like sucking off dogs n shit, but srsly... Fapparatuon? It's stupid and nawt eeven youseful.


GODDAMMIT STEVE!!! 3 AND A HALF BILLION YEARS GOING AND YOU HAD TO FUCK IT ALL UP.


Can you summarize the meaning of life for us?

I know we live in the short attention span generation, but competence doesn't always come in a 5 second sitcom-length blurb. Sometimes you actually have to get off your lazy ass and put in a little effort.


I really, truly hope this legit happened. It sounds so adorable, in an after-school special kind of way :)


downvoted for being a fgt


Balls deep with boobs, heels and booze you can't lose.

Edit schpelling.


I don't want those comments there at all. This used to be such a nice neighborhood.


>Anyone remember pearl harbor I do

Isn't 80 years old


Shame on you for assuming there marriage is like that... Wow this site can be quick to judge at times.

Hope you enjoy the downvotes champ.

Edit: guys really?! Downboats are for spam. Not complicated. Your just proving me right on the judging aspect :/


Or poorly targeted. "Oh, you listen to punk, indie rock, and electro? Here's my new R&B album!"


Nice original xbox, grandpa.


I have the weirdest boner right now.


Sorry but didn't you see the number on the thumbnail


guy goes out in public with crazy, new hat.  You will never believe what happens next.


36+ minutes for Lebron against this pitiful Suns team?  Sad.


Holy fuck you're big.


you think that, but thats not really right


Don't worry, it's photoshopped.  This is the original picture : http://i.imgur.com/TmmCl.jpg


Measles vaccines kill more than measles...

Edit: to all the downvoters: http://www.wnd.com/2015/02/measles-vaccines-kill-more-than-measles/


Why did *all* the fucking teachers lie to us about this? It must be part of the north american curriculums or something.


Protip: You are not supposed to take their articles seriously, you never ever were. If you are, you're doing it wrong. They are comedians.


Filmmakers from The Prestige and The Illusionist did research in my museum - I was very happy with the respect they gave to magic.


I used to whore myself out for Xbox points, but then I took an arrow in the knee!


No one to worry about - just your friendly neighborhood analrapist.


LOLOLOL i see what u did there ooohh youuu


Glenn just sitting there not being able to do anything made it way worse


People actually think Kurt Angle is a bad wrestler? Wait, really?

I get that he doesn't have the best psychology skills, but like... Kurt Angle's objectively a good wrestler. Subjectively you can put how good where you want it, but come on.


"I like you."
"Sorry, that was my friend."


I dunno why you are being so rude

Edit: i don't talk to bullies


As an identical twin, I can assure you, their penises are the same.


+1 for not saying next gen.

&nbsp;

-More downvotes plox


> We fed him and gave him water and sent him on his way...

It almost sounds like you caught a stray animal.


Sure, if you like sucking cocks.


no I just played the sims A LOT as a kid. I found out that you can start a fire so big that even the grim reaper cant handle it. My guy started the fire and the whole house went up. He died along with all the fire fighters. The grim reaper showed up to take them all away and he started on fire and couldnt move. just burned and burned until I reloaded my save file.


Are you watching the same debate as me?


if I started living under a bridge and eating people, I'd probably look like that, too.


I would dream of a hotter wife.


oh for fuck's sake...


"thank you for murdering other people"


doesn't matter had sitonface


wouldn't you rather her play ring toss than give it to the church?? cmon you ARE on reddit


Like putting your thumb over the end of the garden hose. It goes EVERYWHERE.


Upvoting your "pizzereal"


However, if he offers you mead, take it. Maybe you'll get lucky and it will be Black-Briar Reserve.

Edit: I thought this joke was going to fall short, but I'm glad it didn't. Hail Sithis.


But she clearly has a casual attitude toward sex and it's emasculating to learn that a woman makes you wait when she will fuck others pretty casually.


> He found it in 1996 but didn't get around to sending it to me until now.

Busy guy.


Dude, why you gotta talk like that?


scumbag jet: protects your country, flies into your house.


Yes, but a lot of people would consider addiction to extreme sexual violence and torture a personality disorder. And you have to wonder what sort of gateway it is for people with similar fantasies that go onto to murder women.


Found alive hopefully???


Still ugly as fuck though lmao


Or getting caught in the rain?


Pretty sure an SPLC-designated hate group is not the place to go for support.


Are you telling me to go outside or to stop having only Anal sex?


6 months ago? Not like, last week?

Edit: Jesus Christ the downvotes.


Reddit prestige 12 on Veteran Hardcore


Is the dog capable of saying, "Hey! Don't cut off half of my ears!"

No?  Then it's inhumane.


Didn't know Feb 29th was cake day.


You know you didn't come for this. Shut up.

Nice look, OP. Why did you stand on the toilet though?


"The only reason to visit Florida is to identify your daughters body." - Patton Oswald (with a T)


"To do him or not to do him, that is **le** question."


You...You bought it?

Jesus, you really are 43.

Edit: Just to clarify. I'm actually surprised he has the money to freely buy the things that interest him. Something 21 year old me won't be able to do for quite some time.


Oh hey look a piece of shit SRSr.


When a black guy tells you you're his nigga, you have reached the peak coolness that a white guy can have.


No Gods, no masters, no brainless regurgitation of patriotic propaganda :-P


Don't forget the sunglasses!


But hands are only fat, bone, and skin... A little bit o' fat is good, though that still looks unhealthy.


You will burn on your wiggly bits


99% chance this comment was written by a white person


I know! My parents told me when I was about 10 that "honey, Santa isn't real." I thought, wow, how can you live in such denial?


But my friend actually DID send me this picture claiming he did it.
Guess who just lost a friend


When they took the chains off, after two years, and to,d me I could walk around the room


lols. I shall take the upvotes or downvotes like I take a dick.


Once I had to explain the difference between a shower and a grower.

To another guy.

It was awkward.


You're hearing this from one side. It is entirely possible that the customer just said Good Morning and the cashier thought it was eye rape.

Here's an example: http://youtu.be/dTkgpy9grFI


but he doesnt know it


The rocks are porous and will soak up water causing them to eventually sink.

Edit: tried to give an educational response.... That's a Downvote.


My wife recently informed me that when she was little she would go outside and deliberately grab some ants from the anthills in her backyard and put them in her pudding because it made it crunchy, and apparently she liked to have little crunchy bits in her pudding.


Are you fucking retarded?
That made no fucking sense at all.
Go kill yourself fucktard. FUCK YOU.


I just violated a donut....and now I completely get it, great (tasty) analogy.


Glad that you find the rape of several children humorous.


Send me the acapella plz.


No, I'm pretty sure being a terrible hipster is a choice.


You're doing God's work, son.


I assume someone is testing a downvote bot.

My upvotes to you aren't enough. :(


Absolutely... People that make them are a lot funnier than me and I've seen so many of them played out over the years that it's impossible not to.


Oh great, are you scooping shit in some country club in Sweden?

You're not Iranian. You just happened to live in Iran. And you failed to make it, just like millions of Iranians who are scooping shit in country clubs in West.


How the hell did you guys pull this one off?


I try to avoid them at all costs, and normally you can deescalate the situation by saying: "I don't want to fight." and walking away. However, I had one particular frat-bro who wouldn't take no for an answer. Long story short, his friends had to carry him home and pick up a few of his teeth.


Listen to him, OP. I wouldn't trust the Reddit hivemind to tie my shoelaces.


or just not east bottom feeders

edit: it's only funny when he talks shit, got it... never change /r/nba


I really hoped they asked it like "Is the yellow ring for China. China. CHINA. **CHINA**?"


i made that by hand using my grandmothers senior prom dress.


A tale of enlightenment and understanding, about a man becoming one with nature and freeing himself of the bonds of humanity to only become one with the rotten carcass of a dead manatee


Something like the Holocaust would probably never happen again. We live in an era where information flows like water, and something like this would not be tolerated.


WHAT? chain starts here.


Whales do need to look more human.


You could always get a negroplasty.


7kb exe file?. SEEMS LEGIT.


The Queen accidentally flew in there, drowned, and they are following the pheromone trail.


I don't own "the" photogenic dog, but I do own a good looking pup, seen here: https://twitter.com/#!/watkins_little/status/191224916559921155/photo/1

Her name is Jamma, she's about 3, and was a rescue at about 5 days old.  I think she's a golden-chow mix. Best dog I could ever imagine.


Do you mean cloning? I'm pretty sure that if any of them had NOT undergone mitosis they'd have never grown bigger than a single cell and only lived for about 3 days...


If you make a list of every letter that's capitalized that shouldn't be, you get: LFTWTMPI. Then, if you add the letters that aren't capitalized but should be, you get: mcLFTaWMPI.

My best guess is that it's a coded anagram message, which reads:
LIFT MaP TIm Wc.

Is there anyone out there named Tim who's using the toilet and looking for a map? I believe this message is for you.


Congratulations, dubredditdrama has written about you!

[More RA Drama: r/Worstof links to her IWantOut Post, possible sockpuppet responds. Drama ensues.](http://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/shvht)

As of now, your comment has a score of -40 (14|54).


I know it was rough, but at least you have that going for you.


No, I'm just a practical guy. Worked as a farm hand when I was young, did stints as a trucker, mechanic when I grew older, and now own a tractor business. There is no one on this earth who has ever made any value by looking at a snail shell, and if that's new information to you, wake up.


So YOU'RE the one who still uses I.E.

HEY GUYS! I FOUND HIM!


well if you want your genes to continue you will pay for it.   you want the woman to gestate, nurture and pay for your child? while you do what exactly? have pleasure and nothing else? that is why men pay, sweety. only stupid women give it away freely.

money is a male invention not a womans.


This is good for your ninja resume


That's okay.I'm not actually butt hurt about it lol


It used to come in jars but it kept leaking.


Yeah, the bathtub full of blood really puts a damper on her.


*Losing.

Greetings from Norway.


Ready to raise a kid for the next 18 years with the mother, but not ready to commit to that mother for 18 years.  Makes sense.


A GSD is too smart to represent Marines.

Edit: For all butthurt about this joke, it was a joke. I fucking love Marines and any other branch member serving this great nation. Many of my friends served or are still active duty. I myself tried to sign up in every branch, including the Marines - but was medically rejected. Type 1 Diabetes is too risky for the battlefield, apparently.


She looks prude looking.


Only if that number is more than 0.


I'm guessing so. Talk about a pathetic attention whore.

We get it guy, you got on the news. You were a funny pic on reddit for a week... Move the fuck on...


"I'm such a troll!!!! Trollinggggggg"


Downvoted for a jerk and calling people names.


And it becomes dank when we meme it out.


Not to diminish this man's great accomplishments at all..., but have you ever heard of 'the man who saved a billion lives?'

Gotta take this moment to give a shoutout to Norman Borlaug. The next time you eat take a moment to thank him for your meal.


Well, now they don't.


Yeah, the people arguing against me caused the rudeness. The insecurity was the personality flaw. Improve your reading comprehension skills. Or, when you're comprehending something correctly, don't pretend to misunderstand so that you can make a comment expressing disagreement with me.


Fucking good for him.


How on Earth could they not suspect that it was transferred through anal sex. I'm straight and the moment I had heard of a disease that only affected gays, my very first thought was sexual transmission.

They even mention in the Freddy Mercury movie how several of his friends warned him about unprotected sex. This was even before it had a name and he just chose to ignore it.


Millions of years ago, dinosaurs gradually evolved into birds. Some might think their era is over. The truth is, they've just been waiting. Next, on SiFy...

Edit: http://i.imgur.com/booSDEb.jpg


And the rape victims, with no justice done.


25 years of marriage and when your friend gets cancer, his wife jumps ship? That's the most horrible thing I've read in some time...


It was on his computer, not his console. And it was the chinese version. I'm still apathetic about all of it. I'd like to see the record for playing the english version, on an N64, no bugs.


Trust this guy, he has a calculator.


So I wanna upvote, but you have 123 upvotes already... :(


Not to mention trout are the biggest pussies about being out of the water. So easy to accidentally kill.

Catfish on the other hand, you could take it to your house, put it in a recliner next to you, have a few beers with it and drop it back in the river and it will be fine.


Look, vxx, I don't bullshit "lol" and I am quite offended that you would think that. I promise you, right here and now, that if I type "lol" I am laughing out loud.


OK why not I'm dead inside anyways:

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=461_1360105026


You're losing anyway.

Go hide in your church now.


And it is applied directly to the forehead.


I used to get burned, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


That's acute story.  Ba da bum.


God, I hate children of wealth, but their stupidity is your gain, I guess.


The key issue is that he got the leash back, chipmunk leashes are expensive.


No, incorrect. The holocaust wasnt specifically created to kill jews. It happened to include jews was they were only a small percentage od those murdered. Most were slovs/pols ans russians. Jews, negros and muslims were also a minority. Its not far-fetched ghat jews killed their own.


Employer says: "So, how do you think you'd fit in here?"

You say: "That's what she said."  (go in for fist bump)


I used to incest, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


As a pedophile, I find children attractive.


I don't have much karma anymore, because I havent used this account regularly in about 2 or 2 1/2 years; back then, 200k was a lot. It's just from back when I used to use it all the time. Now I only use it for moderating stuff.


I JUST got this joke. I don't know why I had this epiphany at 21 years old while reading your comment, but thank you. Wow it's like suddenly my entire life makes sense.


Came here to say this


deported back to the womb. then your mother is deported to their original country


He's Asian.  Gadgets = porn

edit: we cannot have jokes about our own race on reddit.  Hehe not sorry guize


This comment is so retarded but for some reason I laugh at it every time.


OK someone needs to take a break from the computer, fuckin neckbeard faggots getting sensitive


how about duct taping a fleshlight to her?

[EDIT: I drew a diagram](http://i.imgur.com/pzPTP.jpg)


She could be in school to create a better money making opportunity for herself in order to care for her child's future care. Christ, the anti-parent shit has got to stop on here.


WELL WHY DON'T YOU SUCK HIS DICK ALREADY


What is a novelty account?  Is that like my novelty train set?


Man, OP should have just waited until he got 13 more warts. WAY more cost effective.


I will be the one that replies to an unnecessarily downvoted comment and ask why there were downvotes, then promptly be downvoted.


You didn't fuck up. A sysadmin fucked up by allowing a business-critical spreadsheet to be writeable by you.


i don't want a license.  i don't care what the FCC requires.  i want to a link with my brother for emergency purposes.  i have no interest in DXing or any of that stuff.

okay, so now that i outed myself as someone who doesn't want to comply with the federal government, does this mean that i'm going to be shunned by the ham radio community...?


...and I said "goodnight, I can't wait to see you again", then I went inside and talked to her parents, and then I went home.

I know, hawt:)


Assuming you're being sarcastic you should be aware some people actually play games like this. Instead of getting ahead in real life they spend their time getting ahead in a made up fantasy world. Real winners.


So we get to deal with the fiery rage of a woman or the fiery rage of the Earth?  Don't think we can win on this one.


I am not familiar with that expression.

But he didn't refer to himself or someone else as "kid."

He said "kids my age."

That sounds an awful lot like an attempt to use his "young" age of 25 to justify his actions.  And that's not really going to fly in a legal environment.


I don't know, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.


Well she did support you for ages.


he said:

>Not a throw away, because I dont really care. I was attacked by 5 men when I was 17 years old. I stabbed 3 of them, killing one. Charged with 2nd degree murder, and exonerated due to self defence. None of my friends in the city I live in have any idea.


Hahaha I love watching you **KARMAWHORES** talk about your failures and misery (-:

A thimble full of talent and a dumptruck full of bullshit the lot of you (-:

I am **downvoting** you losers so that you can learn that Reddit has no time for all your bullshit (-:


I'm a hair stylist. You wouldn't believe how many people actually have the nerve to fuck with someone who can decide if they're going to walk out the door with a fucked up haircut.


don't joke about getting offended


That's all right, I can take it.


It would be a good confession if it were real.


I feel like I could see the International Space Station, which is a man made structure, from the International Space Station, which is in space.


Oh and what other premonitions you may have you pathetic Christ believer?


12 year old kid: (*singing*) I love you, you love me..
Teenage: Dude are you 5?
12 year old: 5 inches deep in your mom!!!

/r/UnexpectedThugLife


Then why didn't you just IMDB that shit?


Sunshine and morning dew


are you 12

man a lot of dota2 redditors are super sensitive about being called 12


Actually, the llamas stabbed him 37 times in the chest. And then cooked up his hands. And ate them. Because they had the rumblies. That only hands could satisfy.


Hey, go fuck yourself.


Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad.


I am willingly participating in this vortex of downvotes. Wheee^whee^whee^whee^fuck


This is because no guy out there will complain about his junk being on television unless he is "small".


All the girls wanna play Baywatch.


Repeat? When was the last time you said it?

Chill out everyone, it's just a question.


SOME FUCKIN DAY I DUNNO CHILL BRO


"Typical teen narcissism" is thinking they know everything and that everyone else is wrong.

Such is not the case, here.


I was trying to be understanding but you just lost me. You brought these animals into the world, so it is 100% your responsibility.


He's just mad the refs don't call his flops.

edit: wowzers everyone must be pissed they are at work. I know that feel.


Low tier brought the salt, Viscant brought the pain.


LAWALWALAWLAWLAWLAWLWALAWLWA RUEDDDIT IS SOOO FUNNEY WITH THE USENRAMES OH MAN MY SIDES


Hmm. Great question! I should have been more prepared for this. For me personally... women's rights.  We were seen as companions more than individuals.


I was completely thrown off by the fact that not only are the nipples missing, but the breasts have different shapes, and her right breast (on the left of the image) is really weirdly shaped, even accounting for the position of her hands.

Her left breast looks like a really nice, round one, while her right one seems much smaller, pointy and oriented downwards.


Fun fact. They are Chris Evans' real stunt doubles.


Speak for yourself. I liked it. Just because the rest of you are stupid doesn't mean he's a failure; it just means you're all wrong.


Damn, where OP works it's expensive.

You can go to a Nevada brothel and get a decent screw for 200 dollars


The point is men and women are judged differently for certain things and its not necessarily sexism


Yes!  Get the interviewer to talk.  Every interview where I've gotten the job, the interviewer did most of the talking.


Nice try, scientist. If that's the case, please explain the warm, wet feeling running down my pant leg whenever the ghost appears?


Well there's always a way out for her and if she doesn't take it then it's on her


If you Google "Jack Reacher", this comes up as the description:

"A homicide investigator digs deeper into a case involving a trained military sniper who shot five random victims.
Directed by Christopher McQuarrie. Starring Alexander Rhodes."

It's official - you're now the leading star in that movie. Tom who?


oh ban me too please :-)


It's called banter you cunt


**Wait, so they got to the attacking, stripping, and drowning, but where is the action?  Was there any penetration?  It sounds like your boy was just being curious and things got away out of hand.  It happens.
fapfapfap**


Oh, I'm not a music snob. I honestly will listen to anything.


what makes you say that? i just don't like cats.


TIL: Some Redditors are prom dress critics.


Scumbag OP

Self-posts to r/askreddit

Puts story in comments to get karma

Edit: my bad. I never read the rules before, didn't think it was anything special. Guess I'm just so used to seeing story in the actual post that when it's in the comments I always figure it's just an effort to get some karma. Won't delete, I embrace my mistake!


Tyler Perry is "comedy for black people" the way the Blue Collar tours were "comedy for white people".


except im not silentagony, and neither are any of the mods in r/lgbt but one, so im not sure what your point is


Oh lord,

When girlfriend had multiple orgasms during sex for the first time, me trying to be sexy, whispered in her ear,

*"I'm so proud of you...."*


I've never had a vaccination of any kind. Even as a child. I get very minutely sick maybe once every three years. Vaccines are overrated.


Velociraptor = Speed bird.
Utahraptor = Mormon bird.


Someone asked a question and if you're going to reply as a joke at least be correct. That's a bad attempt at being clever and honestly it's embarrassing that that got upvoted.


Isn't this the plot of every school-hentai ever?


I think you mean NPC as in **N**on **P**layer **C**haracter.

edit: I really hope you're the one who downvoted me, not because I care but just because the mental picture of me informing you that it is NPC not NCP and you being like "fuck you, piece of shit downvoted!" made me giggle.


I actually think this is the most likely scenario. I wasn't allowed in the bedroom because of a supposed pit bull she had in there but oddly enough, never made a noise.


I want the whore to answer ...


It's called Grape Juice


Um, i'm annoyed at tumbling about in a sea of retarded posts on /r/atheism.

OP is fucking stupid, with the intelligence of a cucumber.

If you are over 19 and you live with your parents you are a failure.

Enjoy.


by not developing HL3.


I don't know who any of the non Rams are?  Besides didn't Smith play for the Panthers?  Are you confusing your cat teams again?


He might be the best person on earth. He even recycled his brother's ass-bottle.


White people are the worst (white person here).


"Hey, you're not allowed to degrade yourself sexually! Only we can do that!"


Lol at this post just being a thinly veiled advertisement for your etsy shop.


The thief that steals the one expensive ring you ordered for your fiancé from the truck that's delivering it to the jewelry store and replaces it with a convincing replica is George Clooney.


You are gay. Whimsical, but such a gay creature. A wounded homo, you suck wangs, never to go straight.


>She ended up having to sedate me, and had a male doctor come in and try. Eventually they were able to get it out.

And he was then made King of England?


So what I just watched was restraint?


"I'm so gangster, I'm so thug"

I have no idea, but I'm worried for him.


Disgusting. Fucking fat people are gross.


"Well, we've picked the first lock, but it seems there's a *second* lock on the door."

"Should we pick that one as well?"

"No, I think we've been thwarted."

"What about breaking a window?"

"Hey, there's no laws but we're not jerks."


yeah have fun listening to all the shitty ska they try to pull off, faggot


You've found the additional easter egg... He's Hispanic...


Ohhhhhhhh nooooooooooooo


Boy, that escalated quickly.


Just because you aren't making a net profit doesn't mean you aren't selling paintings. The definition of spam doesn't include a disclaimer about your bottom line.


I tried to play with my Mexican cousins too, but they kept stealing all the green cards.


you deserve so much more than 4 upvotes.


If OP is bold enough to randomly approach this girl, perhaps he could start with a conversation of "Wow, you're really killing it in here. What are you training for?"

[completely agree with the comment about not asking anyone out for any reason other than genuine romantic interest]


true how dare they try to win an important tourney


You're gonna date *3 billion girls?*

Holy shit.

Edit: I realize what I said was REALLY stupid, so I'll just leave it here I guess.


i posted an edit about missing the word down.  i just checked the first hundred posts and do not see any similar articles or posts.


Honestly though, if you went by Fartmaster they would probably still think you were weird.


Well that depends...
What do u have to offer? Hehehe
Edit: HAHAHA so many downvotes i love it haha


This is the only story that touched my jaded heart.  You may take solace in the fact that though he broke up with you, you in fact dumped him.


LmAo YoU SeRiiiiiiiiOuS BrO00oOo ?!?! ThAt'S NaStY !


He should've replied with "I wanna know who let you out of rehab."


It's only gay when I shove the paddle up my ass and set it to vibrate.  I'll still fuck you up at Call of Duty with a controller up my ass, bitch.


If 15 year olds could die from fapping too much we'd all be dead.


It looks like stupid liberal hippie BS, but it probably makes them happy. They don't care what we think so that's even better for them.


i'm doing the tracks with other guys together using Logic


REDDITORS IN CHARGE OF KNOWING WHAT THE WORD "TROLL" MEANS

I AIN'T TROLLING, BRO, I JUST HATE YOU

HATE

LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE REDDIT SINCE I CRAWLED FROM MY MOM'S DISTENDED PISSTUBE


He did not, however, respect the sanctity of titties.

Edit- that's nice, my top comment is about tits. Life goal accomplished.


Well he has to. I'm baptised a Catholic, I could go out now and murder someone and then confess to a priest and be forgiven. It's bullshit.


Ew, she doesn't shit out her asshole. That'd be unhygienic.


Time for Europe to wake up and either drag the US out of the Stone Age or break them down completely. The American elite and their European patsies hold the keys to the global economy and need to be crippled with force if necessary, or else more and more Europeans will join "resistance" movements like Da'esh and Golden Dawn.


Really. Don't take this advice.

There are avenues out there that don't descend into a community built on hate.


I'm imagining a family just sitting in their main living room having a nice innocent time playing monopoly together, and then all of a sudden, **plop**. The children and mother start crying why the father then screams **WHAT KIND OF SICK MONSTER DID THIS!!** As Arizzletron runs off into the night


I'm sorry tolerance makes you uncomfortable.


Until the end of your comment, I thought you were some kind of genius the likes of which Reddit had never seen. Then I realized we're both dumbasses.


>maybe I would call the original version a ripoff, but in Minecraft's case

Wow. So yet again, the bias for Minecraft/Notch is crystal clear.

Fanboys are okay with it being a ripoff, but only because it started off that way and much later turned into something else.

Oh brother.


-honey we gotta split

-why?

-some guy on the internet said that we should split up

-does he know me?

-no but he said he dated a few of these girls in his time

-do you know him?

-no but it got a lot of upvotes

-that sounds reasonable


It's easy to be nonchalant when it is all propaganda. Could you imagine any Israeli being brave? They have a ridiculous history, full of bullshit and people covering up for them, mainly the USA who are their bitch.


http://www.cyberknife.com/cyberknife-treatments/brain/index.aspx

The director of this program is a close family friend.

PM me.


There's a reason they call two-seater canoes "divorce boats".


I'm sorry if criticizing your God is being a dick. Didn't realize you head was stuck so far up his ass.


I can provide a picture, even.  I met Katy Perry and when we took a picture together our boobs hit each other momentarily.  I'll never forget that moment.  I'm the one in the red dress.
http://imgur.com/NtXd8


fuck you buddy.

edit: keep downvoting. i cared about my country for four years you non-rate fucks.


Tv screens EVERYWHERE. Shitty paint job! New tires! New interior! And I think we're done here boys.


I am suggesting that inability to vote, and a restriction on certain property rights does not necessarily indicate oppression.


Thank you for making the top comment a sarcastic one. Too much feel-good in one place isn't my style.


You beat me to it lol


Our dog was eating poop.  I explained to my vet that we've tried every kind of diet with our dog.  Expensive, cheap, dry, moist, consistent, rotating, etc.  The dog would still eat poop (more often than "rarely").

In my most professional voice, I asked "Why do dogs eat their own feces?".  The doctor took his glasses off, leaned in and said "Well sir, dogs are gross."


Screw you guys, I'm going home.


White guys: suffering bro hug discrimination since 1972.


link to episode pl0x?


suprise plot twist: It was a different child


news at 5: idiot takes religious tinder date to expensive restaurant and is upset when it costs lots of money and he doesn't get laid


We call them internet talkies.


Downvote party!  I brought the beer!


nah, I'm sure he stuffs plenty of bears


-pffffffffffffffffffft- meeeeow!!!! -pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft- MEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  -pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft- MEOOOOOoOoOoOoOoOoOOWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -plop- meow.


I'll have you know that after creeping for forever, this comment made me bite the bullet and create an account. That is such a simple kindness that does wonders for children. Kudos.


Better than the free-riders who leech off those who are generous enough to actually support the entertainers they watch so that they can continue producing content. You're the type who thinks you're savvy for blanketly using adblock and doesn't even consider or care about the repercussions.


I like this idea, set up cameras and enjoy youtube gold. Bonus points if you find his house and crash his car into it.


Good boyfriends understand that it's their responsibility to protect their SOs from bad influences.

Cutting people off, putting them on virtual house arrest in the name of "discipline" is abuse by another name, and it smells as foul.


It will go straight to your thighs.


Oh look who's **plagarizing** in videos?


Liberia: 2

US: 0


DIS POST GAVE ME CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LE GAH GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm really glad that ended well. This thread is depressing...


Good god damn he's ugly.


Are you kidding? Haven't you ever been on Pinterest?

You can turn a pallet into literally anything with a little glue and sparkles, apparently.


69 downvotes

I see what you did there reddit.


I haven't stopped talking to myself, though.


Don't forget about the guy who took his wife to the movie theatres and grabbed popcorn bag from the trash can so he could get free refills ...


Both of which were not funny.


You never listen to what anyone else is saying because you're using all that time to figure out what to say when it's your turn


"No, YOU'RE the hate group!"


Sometimes I think my family is insane, but then I read stories like this.


Due to the transitive property, yo momma is partly responsible for what you just said.

^[Edit: ^ninja ^edited ^a ^better ^joke, ^got ^ninja ^replied...]


I think you're supposed to, you know, make the food an accessory to the sex rather than the whole thing. Put the bagel around your penis while she blows/eats. That sort of thing. Whipped cream on the breasts. A nice chocolate mousse on the thigh. For something romantic, tie a bunch of spaghettis together with the last one wrapped around the head of your penis. Lady and the tramp that shit.


Yeah because Amaz somehow has better RNG than us. /r/hearthstonecirclejerk


Most youtubers make me want to stab them in the foot after I hear their "chorus-like" *And please don't forget to like, favorite subscribe share tweet*. I know it's essential for them to exist, but for fuck's sake I still want to stabby mc stab them.


Kind of like Derrick Rose, oh wait


Did he batter her breasts after sticking his drumstick in between her thighs?


ITT: People who want things they don't deserve and are butthurt about it.


They say a man with balls like his


Okay.

When I first commented, there were no friggin comments, so I figured no one cared.

Bye.


The wind up telephone.


**YEAH BUT WHO NEEDS TO BOTHER WASTING TIME DEVELOPING AN UNDERSTANDING OF A WEBSITE LIKE 4CHAN WHEN YOU CAN JUST HIT MEMEBASE OR FIND A FRIENDLY COMMENTER ON REDDIT TO HAND IT TO YOU ON A PLATE**


What's the difference between 2 Catholics and 2 Baptists?

The Catholics will say hello to each other at the liquor store.


Her thank you gift was worth it.


Because your parents would be SO fucked. "Honestly officer! I dont know how they got in there!"

"Oh, what? Did they just turn it on and climb in all by themselves?"


I know it's exact origin, but what is it used for most today? Maybe you should think before speaking, you aren't the only one here that knows a thing or two.


If you can chug a fifth of jack don't let us stop you. Most people can't though, and iced tea looks like whiskey.


Sometimes you go to school? Kid has it made.

Edit: Downvoted into oblivion, still positive comment karma for the day. And not butthurt.

http://i.imgur.com/wvPvM.gif


Who are you, Elijah Otis?


Can you read? Or do you just like placing an exclamation mark after questions?!


You lack commitment.

The interview should be in a boring white office, on opposite sides of an empty table. Preferably with a single, harsh, fluorescent light.

Then, if the applicant passes, the walls of the office lift away and it turns out they're actually in a very fancy, romantic restaurant. If not, trapdoor.


Do You Even Over-use Memes?


Worst superhero ever.

"You're too late, sAmpersandman! My death ray's countdown has already begun!"

"Aaaaaaaand?"

"And... the world will soon be mine!"

"Aaaaaaaand?"

"And... I... um... will rule it?"

"Aaaaaaand?"

"I hate you, sAmpersandman."


Woa buddy, don't go around slinging insults at people's mythological beliefs. It doesn't take much for stupid people to become violent.


Sounds like fat lady talk to me.


Oh shut the fuck up you fucking cock sucker


Five bucks says that's what was in the bottle.


edit: I got downvoted for saying downvoted for upvoted for lovetaps, maybe I would have got upvoted for saying upvoted for upvoted for lovetaps.


Dammit I thought I was just sitting here at work and it turns out I'm being raped. Not sure which is worse.


Get his ass stomped for taking back his shit. Not everyone was the teachers pussy in school.


Actually, they are 3rd cousins. They are fine.


They're just keys buddy.


Dude... *Invisibility*


NO way Weinbach is a headlining comedian you rube.  He toured with Patton Maria and Brian.


Better yet, F-22. Bitches love Raptors!


How fucking old are you? How do you not know the size of your boyfriends dck that  his mom feels the need to tell you?


It is being said that Michelle Obama wrote her own speech.


yah, but were 14, so its a little different ;)


Yeah, it is. Girls, if your pussy starts to look like that, it may be time to take a break from the sex.


But you can brush her hair and undress her anywhere.


You're fat and you have no neck.


No, Hitler is the worst.


That awkward moment when you realize that OP already has a wife &#3232;\_&#3232;


There are two types of people in the world:

1) Those that engage in combat with spiders and snakes in a room filled with broken glass using only chair-parts while Ride of the Valkyries plays in the background and the ground shakes.

2) Sane People.


# TECKLINCALLY LIVERS PRODUCE GUMBALLS THAT SOMETIMES MAY OR MAY NOT COME OUT. IF THEY DO, HOWEVER, IT WILL BE OF THE SLIGHTEST AND NOT THE NEAREST.


I guess what he's trying to say is......
*removes sunglasses*
Terrorists win.


Or you could listen to your own advice and stop whining. People don't like it. They have the right to be angry about it.

Don't tell people to get thicker skin when you're doing the exact same thing from the other side of of the fence.


So that makes it circumstantial evidence?


Maybe its not a super good idea to expose children to that much violence.  If you are not in the business of conducting war after war.   Then its probably smart to normalize violence from an early age.
EDIT  To those who down vote me, I challenge you to try explaining why exposing children to violence is a good idea.  If im missing something here, please enlighten me.


With realistic dragon breeding.


Your statement implies women who abort are cowards and in the wrong.


I don't.  You got me drunk and had your way with me.


Funny, but not deserving of more upvotes than the actual comment...

Especially since it's a crappy meme comment that took no actual thought


I think you mean re-acquired your taste for them.


No it's not.

Contrary to popular belief, clickbait doesn't mean having an interesting title.


Company car of your choice. You'll still have to wait for two years though.


Feel free to google it, Sperger.


He definitely shit his pants.


You're joking, [right?](http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/2618797_700b.jpg)

Edit: Fucking white knights. No one seriously considers the girl in the pic better looking than GGG. If you say you do you are kidding yourself and you're just trying not to appear superficial. Reddit goes from hating on fat people to defending them in less than 24 hours.


Awww Kristen Bell doesn't smell. She's delicious!


Your mom looks too stock.


Just be glad you weren't a girl watching porn and using her favorite floppy rubber cock-n-balls at her desk, who had to quickly pretend to be answering emails when her friends walk in, and... the aforementioned dildo slowly, inexorably slips out, falls, and smacks loudly on the floor, to your horror and their laughter.

I might never live that down.


Spoiler: He probably has a game design 'degree' from a TV school and no experience.


Ya I went to trivia night with me and my two friends(two white guys and a black guy).  We made our trivia name 2 and 3/5ths men.


and then replace that with...i come back 30 seconds later and everything still gets downvoted to hell lolz


Go home dad, you're drunk.


1. not possible to be sexist towards a man
2. read this, it may help: http://stfurapeculture.tumblr.com/FAQ (i realize it's tumblr, but this information is very useful and very reasonable)


I stopped reading at
>received a doll


Just like there are people who create an account just to harass people. ;)


Person (1): Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

Person (2)...

Person (2)...

Person (2): Is that...Person (1): Ba-dum tssss!


Total, total bullshit

downvote this fucker -_-

seriously doubt you are telling the truth about who you are if you haven't seen that topic on playxp

http://www.playxp.com/sc2/news/view.php?article_id=2816961&search=1&search_pos=&q=


i can show you the world?


Good, this shit isn't even close to funny


June 25th, 2045

Heart disease.

3:47:pm


doesnt really matter its just a page some gay kid shared


You...might have deserved that.


Implying the docx file is real and not made up for the nosleep post.


Yes, yes it is. That's why not tipping is a dick move. Ideally these jobs should pay a better wage and the U.S. wouldn't be such a tip dependent place, but for the time being, it is what it is.


Well you are full of shit.


When you see the air cast come out that quickly,  you know it's a broken bone.


Couldn't have put it better. A couple of great runs but a bit of the air of a headless chicken to him at the same time.


Be just to one another, and never forget how to dream.


Fat girls maybe. I have a couple of fat dudes who are the coolest cats around. One guy is a chef and gives zero percent fucks about how he looks and his confidence is so outward that nobody even sees it. My $0.02


The correct response was "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to decline your offer. Best of luck filling the position" Then wait for the phone to ring again


I learned to deal with more


I love helping people


lol. the person who has been around for over a year was just told by someone who's been around for 3 months that the rage face is old.


It's most likely the hat. Most K-12 schools do not allow hats.
Edit- My highest rated comment is about not being able to wear hats. Nailed it.


Are you so socially underdeveloped that you think this is a major issue?  That photo is posted all the time and very rarely is it mentioned it was staged.  I didn't have time to read through it all as I was posting from my phone in the back of a fire engine while returning from a call.


I believe him on this one, that guy looks nothing like him.


First of all, thank you for being the single individual willing to respond to me. :) Secondly, I only said "I'm a chick" because that dude called me grandpa. But yeah, I should've been more aware that announcing my gender would bring on the angry neckbeards. Thanks again, though, for actually talking to me and not being an immature dick. I appreciate that. THIS is the reddit I'm familiar with.


Truth. even my girl dog gets all cold in the winter, and that bitch has a full coat.


I don't know, why else would there be a pencil jammed into a desk with blood around it? It seems like an obvious reference to the Joker slamming someone's head into it..

Oh well :(


Mmm...boiled onion rings.


Not actually my child but my friend's child. I'll pass the message along. She loves imgur and reddit! And the kind words are deeply appreciated. We thought he was a goner!


I mean, it's also better to run two hours every day.

But I like to be comfortable.


It was all of fifteen minutes long- are you disabled?


Ever since I discovered BMX.


That turned out well for you.

EDIT: What the actual fuck. I was playing Diablo, and when I got back here I'm super downvoted for pointing out how retarded that guy above me is. Funny how Reddit works. People will just downvote anything that already has downvotes.


bitches don't know shit about oil rigs


What a le gem of a thread! XDDDD


If anyone was wondering why this one has the "!" and not the other ones, it's because this one isn't shit.


None of this is true.  I don't know why people make this shit up.


Don't be that guy who masturbates in public places


Uh, no.

If you decide to drink and drive, you're a worthless piece of shit.


As a white person, I can confirm we do this.


Check Wkippedia and then edit and come back. Classy. My people did not made genocide. War crime - yes, genocide no.


>It's called a beavertail and this happens when you stop giving a shit about your *life*.

Fixed it.


I didn't realize because someone on reddit had a bunch of upvotes that I was obligated to do what they said.  It's not like the commenters have skin in the game.


I wish guys liked girl mechanics.  I couldn't get a date to save my life....maybe the guys were intimidated by me?
Edit: Holy poop on a stick inbox!
Edit: Thank you for all the comments and replies! Made my morning bearable.
Edit: I now teach Automotive Technology at a college
Edit: Audi/Vw & Ford Certified
Edit: I found my husband when I was at UTI..I was 29.


lol it's because Soledad is acting like a little girl. Adults behave differently. Pawlenty just looks like an adult talking to my pothead sister in this video.


How's middle school treating you?


dude, if you ever actually post original content on Reddit... PM me so we can celebrate! No matter what you find... someone already saw it!


Alternatively: James Bond is actually Torchwood's best agent- a Time Lord super spy.


Then you don't know enough about him ahha


Dodged a bullet there. He probably would have told you it was yours.


Pretty obvious it's a shill article. the KGB was discontinued back in 1991. You youngsters might be too young to remember, but I am not. I am sick and tired of all this second cold war bullshit.


His only mistake was revealing himself. It's payback whether she knows or not, he shouldn't put himself at risk.


is cd project red u stupid fuck


When I read "special needs brother" I thought that story was about to take a plunge off a cliff.


cs;go hit 1mil viewers. league is dead.

edit: d o w n v o t e b o y s.


People absolutly hate you. 6 cars. Sorry to say bro.


Sigh... I have nothing to do with Dota2, I don't play it, I don't plan to use it in our events, I don't participate with the community, etc.  On top of that I play and tweet about LoL every day.....


I think the first part already happened


Except I haven't lashed out, not once.

Nor do I have anything to apologize for.


sing kariokee. Did i spell that right?


Yes, the high-five was disrespectful. And I am 100% completely ok with disrespecting Destiny in that conversation just like he was 100% completely fine with disrespecting us with the personal attacks / constant interruptions and the rage quit post insult. Lets calm down about the high-five.


I have a precedent. After my aunt was diagnosed with diabetes, she could only have diet soda. For a long time after, including at family gatherings, she might ask for a coke only to have my uncle change it to a diet coke.


I am **NOT** a summerfag.


I fucking just did the YMCA on the toilet. What the fuck am I doing.


well, way to go.  but still, recreating someone else's artwork is pretty fucking lame.


Even if he moved O'Brien ahead at this point, Leno would just take the spot back..


Well this is the absolute dumbest thing I have ever seen on Reddit in a long time.


Because North Korea is hell


Hi, I will take advantage of you being the top comment for visibility;

Girls of reddit, please .. Stop and *seriously* go back in the kitchen, you are annoying.

That's about all I had to say.

Also, downvoted. it's a repost -_-

**EDIT : WHOEVER DOWNVOTE THIS COMMENT IS A CUNT FEMINIST...**


At least he chose to stay up there. That poor ipad never had a chance.


> its their body fascism that created us as a group

Wow, you sound like a bag of rotten aardvark cocks. My crew at SRD isn't going to like this.


"those aren't mine. the force of the impact and uh, flying debris....one in a million"
edit: I hate that I screwed up Kramers quote, but Seinfeld was so long ago


i cant stress enough how this is so wrong.... just, NO. Mage's hero power is much better. Warlock's hero power is the worst of them all, and still they get the worst class cards, they have absolutely no unfairly strong class card. inb4 downvotes from people who understand nothing about it


If they think that's an issue....

.........

day dreamin'

AYYYY


Get rid of that scrub mentality: http://www.sirlin.net/articles/playing-to-win


You are a man of terrible decisions.


Wenger didn't annoy the FA with his misconduct. That's the difference.


At this point, this is the best idea.


Not sure if trolling, or serious.


"Son, you're stupid. Fuck me."


*** I deleted my comments about the negative reviews since they were answered below.

Dev can I have a key so I can actually review the game instead of pirating it and contributing nothing?


Excuse you, but I didn't do anything wrong. I will defend EVERYONE if I need to. You should go get a life because you suck :)


So you were bed ridden and got...*bed ridden*?

I'm sorry.


So I'm jacking this thread to say this. What does gay have anything to do with atheism? Gay people... you've got your own /r/. Gay is not an argument, its a fucking choice or its something you were born with. All atheists aren't gay and no matter how much I know you guys would love to turn the world gay, fucking keep your sexual preferences off the front page. Show some class.


Don't join the military.

EDIT: I've never seen so many combat arms soldiers, etc begging for a pat on the back in my life.  Iraq/Afghanistan sucked for everybody, not just you.


>I'm a feminist, yet I recognize that misandry exists.

I have some news that you might find shocking.


Nothing worse than when the damn sugar conglomerates change the size of the fucking grains. Few things piss me off more.


We burnt food collectors collect the rares like burnt chicken, and burnt shrimps because of the low cooking level. But you collect the easiest one sharks...You sir, are not the real MVP. I have 100k burnt chickens, 124k burnt shrimps, and my prized possession is 37k burnt raspberry pies.


Okay I followed that until you got to the part about Lego acquiring kiddocraft so they can sue Tyco.

Where does Tyco fit into this story? Seriously, the first time you ever mentioned it was IN THE LAST WORD. How am I supposed to follow that?


is it? people who are highly accomplished in their field are usually already doing something productive by this time; i'd hate to think how many minds were wasted jsut because they had 'good teachers'


Time Travelling Hipster ended up dying when he went back to the [Hadean ~~period~~ Eon](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hadean) so he could see the Earth before it was cool.


And i want to stand under mouth opened and tongue out.


Oh, find a dealer? Just find a new dealer? Why don't I strap on my dealer helmet, and squeeze down into a dealer cannon, and fire into DEALER-LAND where dealers grow on Dealies!


mozart wasn't needed at all. Electricity is progress. How else would we be having this talk? Through a piano?


(╯'°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

You forgot the Hearing aid.

**EDIT**: Reddit, your humour is awful. I post a comment about a hearing impaired kid and BAM 1000+ karma. Thanks! :) <3


I'm not generally a fan of incontrol, but I agree with him on this point.

:P


OR he's a god damn genie and considering that he has infinite power, can probably see through time and find things he likes.


Nobody cares asshole. Nobody cares.


Arr, there's no Justice like the Justice o'the Sea.


Also, they deserved it in most cases. Western society can learn alot about the treatment of women from the Middle East.


Wasn't that bold of the cashier to ask?


Ah, you are wise indeed.


Yup. I tend to compare Isreal to someone who was abused as a child, who grows up to become an abuser themselves.


I love opening the comments below threshold, to chuck another downvote on top.


If you sort it by top he comes in second, by best he comes in first, but no one sorts things by best.


"consistently epic"

shut up


This generation is *so* fucked! How is a kid going to learn the value of money? I only got my first Lamborghini when I was 16!


http://i.imgur.com/ZjICe.jpg This is what I ran thru to get to the kids. There's proof in my previous postings. It sucked but, we're all alive.


I agree lol.

Edit: Such hate for agreeing with a comment WTF.

Edit2: OK so apparently i am just being attacked by Reddit Rule Nazis. If this appeases the Nazis i felt that simply upvoting would not serve to convey the level agreeance i felt when reading his comment. So, With out further ado continue the onslaught of negativity.


When I was in elementary school I would trip myself out on stuff like this. "Whoa... Out of 6 billion people, I am the first one EVER to be on this soccer field today."


What makes you think that? Just because I posted something that happened to me IRL I'm suddenly a 12 year old? Solid logic. Oh, and I'm 18 not 19 :)


I live on the Gulf of Mexico and we dive rigs. You can hear them slam there gills shut as a scare tactic. You won't see them, but you'll hear them. I am way more scared of a Goliath Grouper than I am a shark.


What the fuck happened here?!?


Unfortunately, still Chuck's golf swing. - Jet


It is. On Old Gen consoles it's comparable to San Andreas, judging from the screenshots and footage I've seen. Hopefully all that delay for PC version will be worth it.


Wasn't able to pull it up. But, I love it. I really don't like thinking of things in that way. People do what they do. Everyone has their way of communicating and sometimes it's driven by love or hate or fear or kindness or meanness. Whatever. I don't want to ridicule someone's behavior. It's all pretty much okay with me. The only thing I don't condone is intentional cruelty.


Im already dead inside, but thanks for the insults


finally, Tony hawk feels validated.


I enjoy arguing and insulting over the internet as much as I enjoy participating in the special Olympics(if you know what I mean). This is the truth. The guy asked a question here because he had no other means of getting a(what he thought) good answer. Instead he gets downvotes and retarded answers because "OMG THIS GUY IS SELLING ON THE RMAH, DOWNVOTE HIM. THAT FUCKER".

Butthurt everywhere.


They dont have to do it till 2017. Most likely they will  design a device that will only come with european phones that acts as a micro usb to lightening connection to appease them.


Came here for this comment. Was not disappointed.


I AM THE ONE WHO CLOCKS


This is a clear failure.  It would become a sport for kids with nothing better to do.


Don't pee on him. Pee *in* him.


They are essentially the same. Although, SC2 involves slightly more macromanagement (depending on what race you play in SC2 or here/champion in DotA and LoL), but a lot of DotA and LoL is map awareness as well as keen micromanagement.


as an audio file that is a problem for mp3.


Her parents have the right to drag her to church.  Calling the cops is not the answer.


If you skipped this, read this shit lmao


And yet he still nailed the costume.


from the opposite perspective, the obsequiousness (is that a word?) of American waiters makes my skin crawl.


If my experience with pretty girls has taught me anything, it's that this girl just found out her parents weren't going to switch the family cell phone plan after all and she'd have to wait another six months to get the iphone. Every. Fucking. Time.


If you worked 260 days in a 365 day year at that salary you would make 1.3 million dollars. So no.


Never send a girl to do a man's job.


Share in Planetfest, the Curiosity rover landing on Mars. Make your own sky crane. Look at jarosite with a hand lens. Imagine what it would be to find it on Mars. Check out planetfest.org.
This mission may change the world.


Actually I was doing them on request.  If you want banned, I will do so. If not, then I won't.


You pretty much did the exact opposite of having sex.


Yea, but I hate watching TV. Downvoted.


I would call CPS on you too you monster. What sort of gas was it? Helium? Freon? Mustard?


Because he's not funny or WTFy.


A handful of russian fanboys, not more. They are not convincing anyone but themselves.


The DoD and NSA have a file on you, jealous little boy.  Real men have cocks, but you know that already, don't you?  Still bottoming at the book store?


Only possible explanation: Your father is the greatest troll of all time and followed you to Toronto just to plant that monkey.


What you sent me could have just as easily been doctored. Sorry, I just don't buy it.


She tried to take the kid away


Man the tweeter probably was gay if he tweeted while getting slapped by a girl.  Lol


Thanks! I love my mom too.


You are a gentleman and a scholar. I salute you.


When a guy is the little spoon and his girlfriend is shorter than him, it's called "jetpacking".

At least, in my bed, it is.


Make the world a better place and off yourself.


"there still might be T Mobile coverage available"

That's a good joke right there.


By "racist" you mean "hilarious"


>  it's like the complete opposite of i

"I'm the biggest hypocrite of 2015"


Delicious. Please, feed more precious downvotes. [](/megusta)


Universal Healthcare bill? Let's tack on that 'punching children in the face' thing we've been trying to pass.

Wait, what's that? You don't like punching children in the face? Better vote no on the 'Punching Kids In The Face (and Universal Healthcare)' bill!


hahahahhahahahahahhahahah You are so stupid if you actually believe this


Behave everyone, there's a real adult around.


Oh, how orginal, how about you go to the doctor and get checked for eye cancer, because normal human beings can read white text unless the shade of white is exactly the same as the backround.


>All I can say is I've been advised by a lot of parties.

That is so *perfectly* vague-yet-specific that I almost have trouble believing you came up with it yourself.


let me rephrase that, people over the age of 12 still play this game?


I always liked the occasional Stargate. I have approximately No Time for theories about ancient astronauts coming here and building pyramids and runways. What does that say about our ancestors? That they weren't smart enough to make a right angle? That they couldn't draw a straight line, even with a perfect beam of light? Cheer up. Humans are okay.


You supposed to have it removed at birth...


As an american, I get very tired of this question. The answer is always good, fine etc., even if you are really feeling horrible.

Edit: Obligatory "this doubled my karma" edit.


are you their daughter?


Ever since the era of touchscreen phones made it easier to text with your penis, it's been all downhill for us single males.


ಲೆ ದೊರಕುತ್ತಿತ್ತು ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಕೊಂಚ ಮರುಪಡೆಯಲು ಇಲ್ಲ.

ನಾನು ಬಾಗಿಲು ಮಾಡಲು ಬಿಡಿ ಎಂದು ತುಂಟತನದ ಗೈ ಮೂ


And when Prince William or Harry go to a strip club, they have to stuff pictures of their grandmother in girls' G-strings.


Can we try reading the full post, perhaps?

I said I didn't mind the medicinal use for pain.

But for your information, I'm known for not taking any medication unless I absolutely need it (save multivitamins and fish oil).


I'm  not proud of this but I switched on AL:VH half way through on TV one night, didn't realise it wasn't Daniel Day Lewis's Lincoln for a good half hour.

And that's only because they were charging at vampires.


It (Europe) has a generally free press. So what if he gives a negative review?

I think the developer needs to learn to QQ.


I'm pissed I just realized this is an option.


Not blame; just stating a fact. I don't leave my kids with people I don't know or trust. Keep your shame for your own self.


It becomes even more fantastic when you take into account the fact that none of the actors knew what was coming so their reaction of fear was genuine.


-11 points, is that the best you can do?!


So, if you walked in off the street and didn't purchase the meal, they would have give you the "free" drinks any way, right?

Free....  LOL


Always fight awkward with awkward


>Love it.

I read the joke and was wondering who could have written such such blandness. But now I see that you're the type of person to like cheesy Eddie Murphy movies.


The perpetual halfie.


that was the whole point though, ive always put in super long tickets and i thought i might just put in as little effort as possible lol


Crafty boyfriend; steals vibrator, blames on grandma.


It's actually 10% less expensive, even after the price change. People are crying because they want free RP just for being european.


Where are my testicles, Summer?


Even if I did understand it, I still wouldn't have been amused..


SOMEONE has to fight the war...


ErikaMurika is shadowbanned for doxing, she is no longer able to moderate. I'm not the one who reported her.


Related: I tend to assume that pickup truck drivers are politically conservative. I don't know if it's statistically valid, but my confirmation bias sure supports the theory.


I used to be confused of the Bungie sign, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


When you get the call you get the call.


Probably needs to know how many fines he can afford tomorrow.

How many times can he grab his dick in front of children.

How many times can he intentionally break dress codes and still have people blame the NFL.


When I have passengers I like to say in the most depressing voice possible "Do you ever get sad" then start to veer off to the road slowly. Scares the shit out of people.

Edit: Glad I could provide so many with a new source of entertainment!


This isn't last call dumbass


he actually dated my aunt for a little bit. My mom was already dating my dad at the time


Oh oh can I join in? so, if we do 54-1-2, it equals 51, which is close to 47, the amount of years the leafs haven't won the cup.  BUT, if you add 1+2+5+4, you get 12 and is you remove 12 from 2020 you get 2008, which is close to the year Carlyle won the Stanley cup!

Is this good math?


>and my mom is Sharon.

Your dad is a wise man.


This is so out of touch with reality. What do you expect when a horde of murderers, sociopaths and propaganda swallowing jarheads suddenly cycles back into civilian life?

Surprise, you're not wanted in civil society anymore. Tell your kind to stop contributing to domestic abuse, rape, murder and while you're at it stop draining the economy you welfare queens.


**Downvoted.**

I pray to Allah that you get shot by a wannabe cop.

edit: Every downvote I get is a bullet that will be shot into OP's body.


This works on some webpages too!

http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2592

It's called the [Konami Code](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Konami_Code).


We live in one of the poorest counties in the US, 98% Hispanic....


As a married man, I can assure you all marriages are not like his. Mine isn't 100% perfect (nothing in life is if you ask me), but good communication and good sex is totally possible.

Oh and a good dose of effort on both ends is a pretty fucking key ingredient too.


drat, I came here for this too!


It was tough because he was so busy returning video tapes.


All aboooooard! Great job, lucky OP! :D


I have a wife and an ex-wife which is like having a picture of that one time you got chlamydia, but it's gone now.


Or rather than posting a comment you could just go fuck yourself?


Christ that sort of thing warrants its own YouTube channel. And you'd be rich.


Obligatory: It went *okay*.


They flashed that on 9/11 one year while revisiting their coverage from 2001. I had just enough time to yell "Fuck, not again." before I caught on.


If it were an actual story I'm sure it would already be on the news. News stations often receive videos from the scene taken by people who were witnesses. If news stations are not asking for info, it's likely because they have all the video/evidence they need. OP is just butthurt because now he can't masturbate to new music from his little pansy band.


Drunk me confirms the deliciousness of this.


He doesn't seem skillful. He plays that guy who flails around.

I liked it for a few shows, and now I stay away from anything he's in.


its because he can take it. because he's not our hero. he's a silent guardian.. a watchful protector. A dark knight.


America is huge (the people)


this kid will go far.


Implying that makes him worse than a Redditfag

You guys both suck (Reddit and 4chinners), therefore OP's face should be the hurrr durrr one too


Yeah and this story by OP is bullshit. All of that did happen - with Stuart Townsend as Aragorn. Viggo was cast after shooting began and had to fly out the day it was offered to him (and he took the role due to his son insisting it) and he started reading the books on the plane ride out.


I'm a horrible person but all I can think is how annoying it would be to rape Fran Drescher. She'd be yelling "No, no, stop it!" in that annoying voice and it would be such a boner killer.


It was probably a seven year old who did your mum.


Cool. What's funny is people down-vote me for my hard work yet you get up-voted for yours.


Well I'm really glad I was in the right place at the right time. I'm glad to hear the police were helpful as well. Congrats on getting your sweet wheels back!


No, this is not a problem. Customers don't always know what they want, which is why it is your responsibility as the service provider to make sure you find out what they want.


Also the article says, her husband was also killed last year and her son kidnapped on 2012 and still missing.

I fear her death will be in vain. I mean, a lot of atrocities happen but we won't do a damn thing.


Oh god its bad enough with the media but here as well?


"the pleasure's all yours." classic gaston.


This is dealt with in the fucking title. Fucking idiot


I'm pretty sure this guy wants to trick you into splashing poopwater all over your clothes.


I guess it depends on what your perspective is. The laugh my comment gave me is all I care about, and the timing has everything to do with why I find it amusing.


They are close homies


That dude looks like he's seen a few dicks in his ass.


No, his wife were the 10 kids.


No one will downvote me!


I'm here to deliver... *a package*.

edit: hey guys? I think I get it: http://imgur.com/sO5Yi


if by "serious musician" you mean auto-tune and pre-recorded tracks as opposed to actual instruments, I agree.


“Humans are terrible athletes in terms of power and speed, but we’re phenomenal at slow and steady. We’re the tortoises of the animal kingdom,” Lieberman said.

I could have sworn the tortoise was the tortoise of the animal kingdom.


god doesnt exist. get the hell out of here, christian


thank you, it was harder to give that talk than to actually hold my breath. i never shifted, always did both. as a kid i would win bets by holding my breath longer than anyone, so when i heard that people could go for over 8 minutes i became obsessed and tracked down the best coach and worked on it for 3 years


PSN is leaking again.


Why do you write like the wheelchair kid from Malcom in the Middle talks?


Wow who shat in your cereal this morning?


Okay, but who took the bomp from the bompalompalomp?

EDIT: Why is my most popular comment a reference from a band I don't even listen to any more?


Sorry to tell you this: but you are 100% wrong. The term "near miss" has a very specific meaning, usually relating to aircraft AND IT MEANS TO COME VERY CLOSE TO COLLIDING, BUT NOT ACTUALLY COLLIDING.

Why don't you go and "could care less" about it?


With my dude, everything becomes bananas. Doesn't even hide it anymore.


Typical knuckle dragging Apple owner talk. How these morons earn the money to afford these things, I will never know.


> TL;DR: Don't propose to a girl in the produce section of a supermarket.

after one date. Yeesh...


So murdering poor defenseless animals by your dog makes you proud.. My god how cruel and common you are


I have just the GIF for you, buddy.  http://imgur.com/LUIYh


Downvoted, since someone from M$ must have seen it by now.


They did an absolutely brilliant tv special on Hartnell "An Adventure In Space And Time" to celebrate the 50th anniversary last year.


People like to act like they had power. I give them the opportunity to feel good. And laugh hard Inside :D


Ex butcher here, they both get slaughtered


Im still laughing at this. I knew one day my use of chesticles would pay off.
I'm going to up vote this because you kept this conversation. :) free karma


That actually sounds like a very appropriate name for a paper on necrophilia. It's not a party til you crack open a cold one!


**I JUST DRANK A LIQUID POO**


It is a 100% no exceptions deal breaker.


Did you misread the thread title as "what is some worthless advice you can share"?


New Zealand: Australia's Canada.


I have MA's in theology and criminal justice and I'm working on getting my BA in psychology.  I have a wife and a girlfriend, and my wife an I live with my parents.


> My shoes were still on my feet.

Whew. I was worried you died.


The fact that you can make this ignorant statement without being dragged away by the police in the middle of the night proved that America is not a police state.


This is reddit. Every film is the worst film in existence apparently.


And a lot of people ignored him because they don't like lol, so yeah, he is new to a lot of us.


I said that exact same line after a porno I saw once.


Not as fucked up as thinking "removing incentives" means "removing all incentives."

It's also not as fucked up as pretending your opinion is worthy of consideration even though you lack the ability to parse and use English.


I donno. . . . I've done some really intense procrastinating on adderal before. Got a lot of shit done too, just none of the shit I needed to do that day.


BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK


Had a buddy in highschool who got yelled at for having his 'phone' out in class.

"It's not a phone"

"Well put your electronic device away"

"Its my insulin pump..."

"oh..."


What Sarah said is technically accurate you liberal moron. Learn your history.


Sparkles from the glitter pool.

Edit: I guess my top comment could've been worse.


I'm faster than the man himself, props to me, because i'll keep doing that for the next few videos.


Read that in movie trailer guy voice.


And you helped her do it. Your excuse is "it was easy therefore ok" So did Daemon_of_mail and nothing happened to him. Ive seen you cry repeatedly about why you cant dox me in the irc and cry about people getting punished for doxing. Shut up.

&#3232;\_&#3232;


Is mayonnaise an instrument?


Yes you certainly can. They have similar genes.

But more importantly someone close to the abuser would be more likely to cover for him. I'm not saying she shouldn't have trusted him and I do not know their relationship. All I'm saying is that I'm surprised.


The secret ingredient was *love*!

^^^^and ^^^^Rohypnol


Maybe the world has reversed and your post's worth is measured in downvotes. Either way, I'm intrigued.


Take care of those lemon stealing whores though.


Her face is meh, her body is chubby as hell, but I'd still jizz on her boobs.


She knows. She's just pretending she doesn't know me.


As soon as we run out of cops that shoot people in the back.

Good form though, something police are normally horrible at.


The fundamental flaw of mandatory year over year profit increases.  No company ever says, "we're making a good amount of profits. Let's focus on keeping on par next year."


I'm not as fired up as I sound. I'm just a little let down by the nature of some of the comments considering the nature of this subreddit.


Probably getting another prostate exam.


We've only been eating other animals for a short period of our long historical lives as humans. Even when we did originally become to consume other animals, most of our diet still consisted of plants.

Perhaps he's smiling because he bought into a cultural ideology that equates violence with masculinity. :( That seems more likely to me.


I didn't know velociraptors saw the full color spectrum.


I dunno comrade...Is she not considered hot in the US? Or are her looks hiding in the shadow of her utter stupidity?


Also, he regularly engages in volunteer service for the needy, and donates to charity when he can spare it.


Ive hardly lost karma, and what Ive lost has been totally worth pissing off the forever alones rofl


My World of Warcraft character is older than you.

I actually said this to my 10 year old cousin.


dude I was fappin when I was 7 years old


You felt like a right smug bastard using that in the right context, didn't you?


Until this ridiculous invasion ends, as has already been clarified.


I never said not to send coke and hookers, I said strippers and candy.


Disapproval or disbelief.  Hard to believe that this was sculpted from marble, but yes it is incredibly impressive.

**EDIT:** Good point, Good point. I was simply reading "disbelief" from knowyourmeme in the link you posted. My bad.


Jokes on you, I am using alien blue


bro, you seem so desperate, /u/mag_cue isn't fucking you man.


I actually got to the end of the second paragraph, to the cuckholding part. I'm like "Oh wait... GODDAMMIT VARGAS!"


No, I didn't. marssaxman said that RMS always turns out to be right. I gave an example of one of his opinions that is not right.


I will make a 5 million dollar donation to OPs charity of choice if he releases this information.


If you make a claim support it with evidence. The burden of proof is on you.

So unless you manufacture some really fast, I'd advise you to leave.


Withdraw immediately. Bring the troops home.


I used to think that that sounds like a badass after-credits scene, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Thank you. This has truly been the most helpful post in here. I appreciate most everything in this thread. There are some obvious trolls, but your comment is why I posted. I don't feel better, but I have a better idea of what I feel I need to do and why.

Thank you.


This is so strange... has a feminist group decided to raid Reddit or something?


I am shocked and outraged, I will be writing them an admonishing letter.


go and die fag enabler


> message of **peace**

You keep using that word, I don't think it means what you think it means


What about Americans buying the best talent EU has ever produced and taking his hard work and fantastic plays as if it was their own?? TSM is an European team  because they're carried by an European midlaner.


what a gamble he took


I am paying respect to the dead by questioning how the government approaches spending money. If the objective was to prevent the deaths of Americans, they have done a terrible job by grossly misplacing their priorities. I consider it my patriotic duty to call out this shit.


Any size pizza is personal size if you are sad enough.


>one if its greatest ever midfielders.

Lets not exaggerate right now, he was a good midfielder in his prime and a ok at best midfielder currently. Saying he was one of the best midfielders in english football is ridiculous


Holy shit, all the guys I knew in high-school were all about "real men don't do that"... and then I went to college and met some real men. I guess real men like to drive their ladies wild. I was pleased to learn that I had been given the wrong impression.


Ironic since the first time I bought liquor they immediately asked for my ID. Ironic, because I've had a goatee since I was 14.


> which immediately tear off his wings and carry him back to the queen to mate.

Now that's what I call wing men.


I pretty much think SRD is to heightism what the Klu Klux Klan is to racism.  But I'm not sure we should ban them.  We get a lot of trolls from them, but every now and then, we also get some good people who are enlightened about a topic that they wouldn't know anything about otherwise.

I dislike the vote brigading, but I think SRD is a net positive....but just barely.


is that why girls accept my friend requests?


As a Reddit Gold member I am going to comment here and disagree. Over the past few years I have contributed so much to this website financially and personally. I have seen a lot come and go. This will never be a meme (-:

I am downvoting the original post and the above two comments accordingly as per my account privileges. However, I applaud your efforts at trying to please the circlejerk (-:


that's the most metal thing I've ever read.


I escalated it to the level he did. Saying the guy hates his kids because he's a jerk to strangers is quite a leap.


Same. Except for me they busted out some butane torch and a fancy pipe and wanted to "dab", whatever the fuck that is. No, just give me some good ol' fashioned weed.


I learnt this the hard way. I came home from work early once and caught my daughter masturbating with a cucumber.

"That's disgusting" I said, "I'm meant to be eating that tonight, now it's going to taste like salad."


show us a news article. Take a picture of a scar. you haven't proved anything yet. stop lying to reddit.


Catholic Church doesn't see anything wrong with being Gay. Acting on it is a thing they have issue with. If he maintains his vows of Celibacy it should not be an issue.


I usually hate feminists, but be a gentleman. Is it that big of a deal to you?


I'm a liberal and 20 years ago, I would have been unhappy with his statement. But the world has changed and I'm neither naive nor blind.....and I'm with this mayor 100%.

This is exactly what needs to be said.  The cost of possibly angering or insulting people will be far less than the price we'll have to pay if we let this situation fester for the sake being PC.


k.. good for him

you want a cookie?


I'm bad at interviews?


What a waste of time. It's just a damn videogame lol (-:

At least now the OP can *go outside and enjoy*

Edit: Why the downvotes?! I'm encouraging normal human behavior... fuck this circlejerky pokeypokemon subreddit to hell. Worst shit ever (-:


"A local man was bitten today after fisting a bullshark"


hahha you're a creep!


or even a one sided building. Or just a beach.


y'all were in there rubbernecking from the other drama you escalated earlier in the day.


Don't forget to give them some hard drugs. They'll be too doped up to remember their false accusations.


You want those pathetic geeks to do another AMA? Really?


Totally fucking agree 100% and nobody can change my mind about it.


I'm sure a lifetime of shattered self esteem and rejection issues is too weak a punishment for a decision made by a seventh grader.  Glad you still feel so pleased about it.  I imagine the long term effects of seeing the human body still haunts you to this day.


It depends. Sometimes the baby will be invisible, sometimes it can read minds, sometimes it can fly. It just depends.


No, you lost your credibility when you had no rational or consistent definition for human life.


I am not upset by this.


Oh I realized it, you said it right there *points to your post*.

Are we not here right now in the same topic?! I have seen it in two others as well. I like it!


I have a girlfriend and I confirm this.


*sigh*

edit: Please tell me you thought the joke sucked rather than you don't understand it. The number of upvotes he is getting versus the number of downvotes on my comment parent to his is making me lose faith in reddit.


awwwww

**YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**


Came in here to post this. Well done.


And it feels like you got one over on the people who left early.  Like you're part of a secret club.


Are you fat if so that's probably why Alex wasn't interested in you.

EDIT: all these downvotes just show that reddit has an abundance of fat chicks.


"Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, free at last!" Katie Holmes


He's socially autistic.


... I think you've just given a bunch of men some serious trust issues.


His friend should check his wallet


HAHA you just liquidated $100k in the wrong shares LOL

*high fives coworkers*


This pic has nothing to do with atheism. Retarded, and a waste of everyones time. Kill yourself.


"Oh my god."

"Yeah, well, welcome to the club, pal."


Do you get off on early bloomers irl too?


I bet they went home after that and logged onto Xbox Live.


^ http://i.imgur.com/fVnZD.jpg


That's how my neighbor won 1St and 3rd place in the wet t shirt contest


Written by M.Night Shamalon


YOU BOYS LIKE MEXICOOOO!?!?!?!?!


Do us all a favor and show yourself out.

EDIT: It was a reference to his username.


> I once broke both of my arms...

Buddy, don't ever share this story on reddit again.


Thus reducing any impact of the potential rape on the girl anyway. You were really just in it to spoil the poor guy's fun, weren't you?


TL;DR we have an egg safety center


Not selfish. In fact you don't even know his circumstances.  If the mom had a drug problem, he could have too.  He could have been more fucked up than the mom was.

He could have been living on the street.  You don't know.


Condoms help stop the spread of minivans.


I used to choose the colors to make it look classy, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Jesus take the scroll-wheel!


Well then dont look at it and get back to work/school!!


The best glue is made from gorillas.


The question is do they call you "sir" too? Because if you have to cower to a public servant because you fear that you are going to be fined without a cause or worse, there is something very wrong about your police.


Fucking Batman references.


Those boobs? More like downvotes


PS4 and xbone are current gen now, not next gen.


Yea, but that's the punishment for like everything in Japan.


> and the sky is gay

FTFY

Downvote is to the left if you have no sense of humor.

.|..


Achievement Unlocked: Vomit Comet


Probably from the guy who stitched all these tweets together, made multiple Karen-themed hate accounts on twitter to share the link to this post, and made at least 2 sock puppets to post this thread.


If the anus of a corpse is "corked" it can usually be salvaged by using plastic wrap.


*right on* /pun intended


Something like this? fast foreward to 1 minute: [Lava under water!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3YNpzZWbmU)

Edit: Thank you so much for the gold kind stranger! Never saw this comming!


I used to have a flat white chest, but then I took an arrow in the knee!


1. See post
2. Be a whiney little bitch
3. Profit


Darker than the ones you killed?


You're just jealous of our wars.


SRS can pull the strings of reddit at will with less subscribers. They manipulate the market of ideas on reddit and consequentially what information is able to make it out into the world.


Turns out they WERE in your league.


You shouldn't talk about God on Reddit. Most of redditors are atheists and therefore, you will get downvoted by them.

If you were wise enough, you'd delete your comment right now.

But hey, you know .. I'm not here to judge you or anyone else.


This is the worst erotic short story I have ever read.


HAH. I give you the gold, good sir. You made me laugh heartily. HUEAHUEAHUEAHUEAHUEAHUEAHUEA


Holy crap on a cracker!  That was me!  I should have mentioned keto while I was there!  Thanks, doc!


I used to give obvious LPTs, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


It honestly was a genius business move. The headphone market was wide open, so Dre (with Jimmy Iovine) decided to make headphones a fashion statement,  and because he is who he is everybody believes that the headphones they're getting are top-quality even though they're really not.

EDIT: Jimmy Iovine apparently had the idea to do headphones and not sneakers, like Dre wanted.


Infiniminer came BEFORE Minecraft, just as Minecraft came before Fortresscraft. I guess rip-off game design is only allowed in a certain context with Notch fanboys.


In a tissue you fucking animal.


"RIP = "Rest in peace" so "Rip in peace" = "Rest in peace in peace"


Seth Rogen and James Franco should Interview Mohammed now

Edit: They fucking hate us cause they anus!


>Oh I'm sorry, were you under the impression that comparing Afrocentrism to Holocaust Denial is "telling the truth"?

It is the truth. The ancient Egyptians, King James, Beethoven, and the Xia Dynasty were not black. Sobbing about how noble the lie is does not make it true.


I cannot thank you enough for posting this. I am crying as I write this to you, I am at such a loss for words... That is definitely Olivia. I am so stunned and saddened to know her full story. It means the world to me to finally figure this all out. I am a little bit of a mess right now, but I thank you infinitely from the bottom of my heart.


The graph is the best part XD


Brojob - he tripped over, mouth landed on erect penis, laughing ensued.


Mohamed lived in a completely different society than you or me. I have a 21 year old Indian friend who is married to a 12 year old (not even his choice as it was arranged). He's letting her wait until she's 13 before they start having sex. Pretty good of him, as it would have been socially acceptable where he lives to do pretty much whatever he wants to this little girl.


My favorite fact about this film is that Anthony Hopkins is only onscreen for roughly 15 minutes, and still wins a gorram Oscar for it. How good of an actor is he?

EDIT* for correcting the good sir's name...


Thanks for clueing me in. I'm new to this whole reddit thing.


No one gives credit to the guy with the death grip on the leash though...


we were all 17 :( sad huh?


Hahaha, you think its a girl.


That guy is like silver 5. I played Urgot 3 times and I'm probably better than him lol. It's not like Urgot is hard to play lol, he's just a boring champ


Also, everything is blue. Every UI ever is always completely entirely blue.


No one pretends otherwise.  The winner of the women's Olympic, 100 meter will never be faster than winner of the men's 100m.  So what?
The only people who seriously make the comparison are men (and boys) who are apparently aren't confident in their physical superiority.


Can this post be on the front page of Reddit in giant goddamn letters for all those Friendzone jackasses to see?


No job = unable to pay bills without aid, she is unable.


Hey, that's hard to do while balancing on a branch outside her bedroom in this weather.


Thanks for repeating the exact words of the video, you valueless cunt.


"Why don't you come over? My roommate's out tonight."

"Naaaah I'm just going to play Mario Kart tonight."

- Me, last Friday


You sound like a pussy.  Learn how to defend yourself better.