You paying to download a movie is just as silly and antiquated as your mom using the phone book, just fyi


My favourite joke of all time:
What kind of bear dissolves in water?
A *polar* bear!

Science is fun. I also rarely get dates. So weird.


The restaurant you work for should pay you better wages. Relying on tips is moronic at best. Just doing your job shouldn't warrant a tip from customers this system is ridiculous.


You could call the episode, Jumping The Shark


He had 5 fouls, and they had been calling cheap shit on him all game. Beal knowing that should have had his back though


They're all just rocks and metal in the end!  But I agree!  That dude is up there with the guy that marketed the pet rick!

Edit:  I stand by my Rick.

Edit:  Jesus Christ, Marie!

Last Edit: Thanks for all the gold! (and the fish)


I'll be looking for all your other comments on similar news stories about all the suicides in the U.S. (or world) going forward. Thanks.


Du courage. I hope you beat the cancer.


nsfw: [http://i.imgur.com/tYvtr.png](http://i.imgur.com/tYvtr.png)


Can I call your mother something offensive? Because it sounds like she deserves it.


I think loonies like you belong into r/conspiracy..


>Pictures o**n** the internet and **o**n phones are FOREVER. **T**h**i**nk **t**wice, even **t**hree times before **y**ou post or send any **picture** of your**s**elf.

NO TITTY PICTURES


Of a flat chested fat chick? Yum!

* *gags several times for 34 seconds* *


'drugs' and 'terror' aren't countries either


Because people that do work use actual computers; not phones


Just a guy with a BA in English on the night shift


Well they don't see or hear real guitar playing very often, so it comes as quite a surprise when they do.


You named your daughter Bicycle?


You niggers SERIOUSLY need to cut it out with these playground memes. I can feel the strangling grip of the digg collapse each day.


To be fair, that's an extreme version of the pretty popular established view of sex in western society (held by both men and women) that it's less of something that two people do together because they both enjoy it and more of something that a woman bestows out after the man has earned it (and that sex takes value away from women but adds it to men).


Are you retarded or something? I don't even know what you're talking about.


"Katniss looks a lot like the Boston bomber...."


>but plenty of atheists have an unquestioning zeal you'd be hard-pressed not to call...religious.

 Ken I know you're smarter than this. Which it puzzles me why you said what you said = /


I was waiting for the punch line.  By paragraph 3 I'm thinking "well this is getting elaborate..."  by 6 I'm thinking "most epic bomb ever incoming.  Maybe he's carrying around his dead mother's head somewhere"  and then by the end I was like "...I'm suddenly so lonely".


6 of 7 niggers on a trampoline


Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the P is silent.


Do you have trust issues or is distrustful your default setting?


"Day 34:  I do not believe anyone is suspicious, however, I do not yet fully understand this thing called "emotion" that the other humans seem to value.  I have begun practicing the various facial expressions that seemed to be linked to key emotions.  Today I will begin to implement my research into practice in hopes to be further accepted as one of their own."


You're male and you're not the provider? Congratulations, you have no chance of getting custody. Your whore of a wife is going to ass rape you badly.


You can't stop the robot revolution. Just let it happen and ~~you humans~~ **we** humans will be much better off


Games Workshop have based their designs on existing tanks and should have no right to sue... they are doing the exact same thing EA has done. Besides, C&C is a popular IP worth millions and who is Games Workshop exactly? Oh right, some company that created some crappy build-it-yourself figurines years ago based on other peoples designs. I think I know who deserves to win this fight.


Say more things about stuff.


She sounds like your average gamer girl.


Source: http://buttersafe.com/2008/10/23/the-detour/


>every terran is retarded

[Sounds about right](http://i.imgur.com/gIQmZ.jpg).

Infact, I believe I've said that several times.


Some don't think it be like it is, but it do.

1000 upvotes for a stock comment. Great, now I can mail in for the pogo stick!


Or more likely, this is either a massive media beat up, or we're not getting the full story.


wow that *is* shitty ascii art!


DAE wonder who she banged


mmm, my calculations put it at 3.3333% (repeating, of course)


Thanks for telling me who went to heaven, because you would know being a redditor on [/r/atheism](/r/atheism)


i am going around an upvoting every story that doesnt involve incest


Said a guy watching shit tier na


I'll have the #4 tribal tattoo... with extra bro.


Oh wow that was a nice joke.


DO YOU THINK WE GIVE A FUCK?


The current evidence points to refined carbs and sugars as being the culprits.


I did. One dude owned a ski company. Chill dudes. (P.S. if you were one of us you fucking saved us.)


You can recite memes? You must be so cool in real life. &#3232;\_&#3232;


Bull testicles are NOT a vegetable.


The fair city of Detroit was really fair at the time when he was born, in the 30s niggers made less than 10% of the population.


You must be popular.


Yeah cause freedom of speech is wrong. Fucking worthless liberal reddit trash.


or the day yahoo finally takes off.


I can't believe you guys didn't run it. You were only 1 yard away.


went from :D

to  D:


Remarkable how you claimed that people hate him for no reason and then in your next sentence provided a reason.


She might not look like much, but she's got it where it counts.


hurr hurr hurr hurr british nerd pop culture references

EDIT: butthurt britfags butthurt britfags everywhere


Literally nobody in their right mind goes to Vegas to become rich. Everybody goes there to get drunk, eat good food, watch shows, hire a hooker, and have fun.


I used to be the god of pokemon, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


On a completely unrelated note: I'm also Canadian. Our women are gorgeous.


Yes, I for one hate having a clean, slick looking interface on my phone. I really wish Apple would clutter it up with a whole lot of data that I never look at anyway. /sarcasm


yup. that's pretty fuckin weird but not too creepy. you've got super powers man.


Det finns gott om nazister här som går på idrinkredbulls trollande och inte kan hålla sig från nedröstknappen. Frågan är bara vem av dem som ligger bakom kontot :/


Bay has more money. Does anyone actually think Bay has tried to get an Oscar with any of his movies? He makes movies that make money.


No what you see is the photo my grandfather had . I scanned it on my HP and posted it. Someone has already showed me the original.


The boy play mansion?


The "sexy" option isn't sexy at all. It's an image of sperm surrounding an egg.


Trickle down economics?


Will you bang this dude if you end up going?


Don't tempt me.  I'm counting carbs


Oh don't get me wrong. I'll be the first to admit that if you strongly believe in a higher power, it's akin to mental illness. I just don't act arrogantly about it. That being said though, I'm Australian. Down here, nobody gives two shits about your religion. Most of r/atheism is America, and they cop a lot of shit about it.


Unless your a faggot, they like getting nailed in the ass.


This is the best non-violent one so far.


Why fuck is that any of their business?

Its no different to asking if you wear womens underwear to work.

Besides follow it up after the joke with a "well if you speak to my references you'll note that I have been 100% accountible for my work and personal behavior".


It's awesome. Really relaxed because we all just care about Netflix and the users, and just want you guys to be able to watch the shows you love.


>Rihanna is fucking awesome. She says the best shit on her twitter

FTFY


Damn, OP partied hard.


It doesn't matter you're still a parasite on the government.

Also tldr you can bet I didn't read past the first two sentences since all I see here is a wall of text of a faggot trying to justify himself and how he gets things for free because he's to poor to afford anything and has to relay on other people


Yeah, well he's not on a highschool team anymore, THIS IS COLLEGE!


i wonder if she likes big american penis.i should go to japan and find out.


Okay the high society club is funny as shit.


Oh dignitas fanbois: D dignitas players were so confident they said they will win lol. I laughed so hard when i saw their score after the groupstages: D
(anyways the only one who has a chance to beat AF is clg.eu imo. they playd against them they know what they are doing. and maybe m5 but for love of god dont let them win this.)


When I was a baby, my mom and dad were so embarrassed wherever my brother or I cried in public that they immediately apologised and got us out as soon as possible. Now, the parents get pissed if you don't *like* listening to their kid screaming.


Not really, she's just cunt.


'This is Lester the Molester...my cellmate'.


Funniest thing I've heard in two weeks, three days, and seven hours.


Right? I'm more shocked Olympians have to pay taxes on their medals.


Yes, but thats mainly about niggers and their households. Most black kids are pushed into prostitution before they are 14 i think.


How many teams can one man support??


That's classic!  You didn't respond to either of my points and quibbled.  Mr. Kettle, I presume.


Victoria, I'm a very positive person. So give me negative questions, fine.


Isn't that denzel?

I guess there's some meme or reference that I'm not aware of, because simply calling someone by the wrong name doesn't seem very funny to me.


I feel like that's probably just one guy with a bunch of different email accounts.


i hope you fall and break your neck again


Just speak with an overly fake german accent.

Zen you can have all ze tings you vant.

Edit: apparently nobody read the "overly fake" part of "overly fake german accent".


I feel like that was all made up.


I gotta hand it to ya, I laughed.


So in order to fight the government you should do what it says?

Makes total sense.


"Oh... Uh, thanks."

Then I walked away quickly. She followed me around the library for a bit, but eventually disappeared.


That joke wasn't funny. There are 4 fish we can see in that bowl.


He's a bible thumping, ignorant asshole, for that, we shun him.  We look up to real badasses, like Bruce Lee.


get a life you fucking racist, not all black men beat their wife.


I bet that sped up the process.


damn it i was gonna say this!


It's why I hope the Bushes see the country recover from the mess they created.


Yet another victim of the second floor.


Other patients who weight 400 pounds and complain about perspiration occurring when they lift a slice of pizza.


At least we're considered cool somewhere.


then I wish very hard that the author of this post had railed against gendered traditions rather than placing the blame on "you ladies".


So she'd be perfect for reddit.


when I first saw it I was like WTF then I had a better look and I think it's the guy with the dick but the girl is riding it whilst standing up and the guy is lying on the sofa, oh fuck explaining that GIF it's fucked lol


Norwegians are highly flammable, they did right thing.


I usually remain anonymous on the internet, and my wallet containing my ID was stolen recently.


Dire wolves actually were about the size of lions, but they were hunted to extinction a long time ago. What we have today are wolves, dire wolves are a different animal.
Edit: apparently I was a little off on the size and cause of extinction. Thanks Cunningham's law!


Well fuck you stupid douchebag. How's that for pretentious?


and I love taking off *your* bra at the end of a long day


Waving your dick at someone should hardly count as *rape*.

(In my opinion, at least.)


Whenever I try to growl they just laugh.


this derped me herp so hard.  steven and his herp derp


They could call it Two and a Half Men.


I upvoted you because that is true.

I bet money a dude got the shirt and had his girl or sister pose in it for karma.


I have played that game before, and the answer is 75. Well, it would have been 81, but 6 of the kids died of various causes along the way.


Man up faggot jew shit eater.


He had a carcinogenic tumor, it was a long drawn out process they first thought it was a detached retina.  Then found cancer, and about 2 months later they removed.  Quite a strange process, but hes happy as ever he takes it as it hasn't killed him so he doesn't care.  He has humor about it and is gonna go out as a pirate for Halloween lol


I'm 15, and I know my comment was retarded and unappealing, but that's not why I posted the picture.  I've been on Reddit every day for the past 8+ months, but I am very new to this subreddit, so I don't know your standards.  Although, I've posted 2 links to this subreddit in the past two days and have gotten a total of over 1,200 karma.


At least every time you try to get a girl you better yourself in the process. You went from being a generic dude to being a swing dancing chemistry buff who can run for an hour. Now you can get any girl.


I almost fell off my bed laughing at this. Thanks for the comment sir.


http://imgur.com/HQhoz

PS. [AMA Tomorrow](http://www.reddit.com/r/Shitty_Watercolour/comments/t3w02/ama_tomorrow_maybe/)


May be in Brittish English.. But not in actual English


Let's just hope you don't break your glasses.


becoming a stoner scumbag


I don't know, I prefer Uplay and Orig.. No,I can't even type this. All hail Gaben

Edit: Yeah, true, Origin isn't that bad. I actually even get better download speeds on Origin than Steam.


It links to a few of them actually.


The real answer is that the tale hasn't yet truly begun :)


> Hey, I'm an ignorant American. Be surprised that I was even able to find Japan on the map. =)

Fixed it for you


Well that solves that! I'm sure your local police station readily dispatches multiple squad cars to local store fronts so they can meander through and then yell at kids passing by.


Do you think shooting someone is an appropriate response to a home break in? Most likely it's some tweaker looking to steal your DVD player to pay for some more meth.

I have a firearm, but would never ever use it for self defense. I couldn't bear to live with killing someone.


I mean that's cool if you're a beginner and all, but when I did it I took out a patrol of evil snowmobilers and two helicopters while riding a shark.


So much for deleting and reforming before I got a response.

Forget it.


That's just what reddit wants to hear.


so you're justifying being a dick by saying 'well he was mean first'?


I'm sure it has in someways, but I'm so emotionally repressed I've never noticed it.


Helping their money brothers out


Wow, an actual answer to this question.  I'm kind of sad I had to scroll this far down to find it.


Not funny. Not original. I know the answer.


Their vegan status, of course. Their lack of eggs came before the chicken.


You joke but this dog has an early onset neurological disorder. Once it progresses it causes the lungs to shut down.


I'm sorry for your loss.


I'm just sick of seeing this "vaccine" subject anywhere. It's just annoying. Sorry dudes.


I bet he's really cursing his luck


sorry if me as an experienced player wants more out of a professional player casting then " um ya navi over extended there" well duh is this guy retarded?


Yeah she ended up getting kicked out after one semester.  Her GPA ended up being a .7 while only taking 13 credits.


Fastest negative karma I've gotten yet. Oh wait I didn't say how bad muslims were. Lets see how that speeds things up for me.


I was definitely an interpreter. My dads also from Puerto Rico and has issues even with asl. I remember talking to cops when pulled over when I was in 1st grade


you can just continue watching Teletubbies, nothing to see here, move along


Officer Three: "Can I use your shitter?"


Wow. You got 41 points for posting this 2 hours after my -10 point post of THE EXACT SAME THING.


I would try to keep this from being common family knowledge, even the hint of incest can throw family members off.

But other thank keeping it on the DL, keep doing what you're doing.


You're way out of line.

Provide some proof of the photo.


> just time-traveled from their apothecary in a steam-powered dirigible

> cool as hell

I fail to see the disconnect.


dont be a fat piece of shit. its that easy.


All the best propositions start with "Shhh...."


that means 22% of **le** internet is gay.

 xDDDDD lmao


I made a list of about 15 names that I liked and then looked at which ones were available. I liked imgur because it's kind of a play on the acronyms, img for image and your for ur. So in a way, it's "your imager". It also rhymes with sharer, so "your imager is the simple image sharer".


>"No son, you are way closing to main eventing mania than he ever will be."

English much?


Crazy women stories: "Ah snap women are crazy! You shouldn't have stuck your dick in there!

Crazy men stories: "Thank goodness you got out of there alive!"


No it's not

Edit:
Haters gonna hate and ain'ters gonna ain't

Edit 2:
Started at 12, have had programming internships / part time jobs since 15


We get in trouble if we don't do it. And especially in my case I get less money in my reviews/pay increases.


It's ok we don't want to know what he says to his muther anyways. Er is glad that we aren't a stick bunch. What a scheisekopf. I kann nicht mehr sagen.


The awkward moment when he tells his mom he's going to L.A. because of the video he put on YouTube of her bitching at him.


:( Let me know when they come back!


>SLAUGHTERMELON

SOLEMN LAUGHTER


Except in this case were it was triggered with the deathrattle. I tried to combine different effects with each other to change up the gameplay. In any case it is obviously fake so no use arguing xD Would take to much time to redo it so im gonna leave it as is xD


No, you ask everyone to donate what they can afford. Never go for fixed amounts. It will be a similar number of people who donate but a lot of them will donate more than $1. Some of them will donate less as well, but they can only go down up to 99 cents, they can go up much more than that.


You can't understand why someone telling me to kill myself is fucked up?


Thanks, man c:

Thanks for posting it too. It's kinda cool that I didn't have to post my own work. I don't care about the karma at all, I'm just happy that people are enjoying the video :D


> When you bring in mods just to piss users off, well it says something.

Pissing the users off is what *makes it* a safe space.

Only the cissies are pissed off anyway, and they don't matter because they're not really real people.

DIE CIS SCUM!


I said I'd never go back to that arcade again. They called me in for one last round.


well, you could always DL Origin yourself and see, and this blatant Valve circlejerk article only spreads lies, like the whole "Origin is spyware Bullshit" anyway, this article is basically a big Steam Circlejerk where the author shits all over Origin for not being Steam and have sales every single day.
EDIT: Oh boy, the reddit downvote brigade got to me after I insulted Steam.


No, he just isn't promoting natural born killers right now.


No you idiot its rape apologism when she tells me i dont have the right to hate the man who raped me, learn to read dipshit.


It's OK, Woody accidentally an AMA.


He was fat, old and ugly, so he deserved a broken nose more than an attractive person doing the same thing.


It really pisses me off when people assume that just because they have kids it means the world should revolve around them. Fuck you lady, we were here first.


Deprive someone of life because of how others treat them? I don't think that's right.


http://imgur.com/3ZZ0H.gif

You're welcome.


An attractive woman's opinion might carry more weight. It's the same way that a billionaire's voicing of his or her advocacy of a higher tax rate would carry more weight than someone who wouldn't fall into that tax bracket.

Edit: I love this. Downvotes and no rebuttals to what I'm saying. Nice use of reddiquette there.


This is some hilarious shit, but my wife and i still do this occasionally. The difference being neither of us really care  we actually have sex, so instead of a game of chicken we just go to sleep.


Too bad i can just copy it over huh?


Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down?

Edit: My brethren have shown their presence by rewarding me with gold. Thank you, anonymous stonecutter!


>le That's right, mate.

FTFY xD


Montpellier winning the French league


Obama will be a brilliant pro golfer and NBA spokesperson  who builds his library around the lie that somehow every mistake he made as president was the fault of someone else.


What ever happened to MrBabyMan, was he included in the sale?


funniest thing on *r/soccer.

edit: -52? that's just downright mean..


hey baby i **LIKE THAT KARMA YOU SPORTING OVER THERE** oh ok fuck you bitch your comments were lame anyways


I can assure you that they too know full well the effects of tobacco use, and busting them has probably done nothing more than propagate resentment toward you and other figures of authority.


Mendel was the guy who made peas fuck each other, right?

Source: C in Freshman Biology


Lol you must be fun at parties. Your couch and color scheme is vomitous. What?

Edit: Wrote this when I was drunk! Man, it sounded better in my head!


I bet she got pregnant just so she could pull that trick.


Why would you want to fuck a lilypad? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GET IT?!


And it's always on a sunday that you want chic fil a


Glad to see some footage of how pc gamers get raped and then talk shit about how it's superior. Thank you.


They should make her a sex offender when she comes out. That's when the real horror starts.


aka a child that doesn't get enough attention at home


Don't worry everybody, it's not the drawing.

:(


Why? It's still "working" for OP. Nobody seems to give a shit.


Yes, I am always at AVN. Sure I would love to check out your lube. Feel free to email me: kevin@kevinmooreonline.com


Why the downvotes? Up with you


Otherwise known as a yard cat.

Only got 3 feet.

*gets coat*

*edit*  Wow! My first gold. Thank you, kind stranger.

Here, have a picture of a happy kitten in return.
http://imgur.com/6krQfYZ


Nay, kind sir. While I doth not agree with what thou sayeth, I doth oblige your inalieble right to sayeth it, you huge faggot.


This is lesson number 2 for 2012.


Or sometimes some asshat in an Apache helicopter laughs as you get blown up because he couldn't wait 10 seconds for you to walk past the building before blowing it to shit.  And since you're an Iraqi, your life is valueless.


I hope your dad makes it!!!


No im sorry, but thats just wrong. Ban the idiotic poisoning amd offer a bounty for furs and hunters will go shoot them. Works great in America.


God dammit...

Here take my upvote


Fuck reddit. Have an upvote too.


Didn't you hear? SW's going through a sort of grey period right now.

...to be honest, I can't tell if he's depressed, or he just ran out of colored paints.


lol.

look out now. The swivel chair revolutionist is going to put a stop to this.

"this will not stand".

Haha, what in the fuck are you seriously gonna do about it?

NOT A FUCKING THING.

Just shut the fuck up.


My boyfriend did this once. I was sitting in the back, laughing at him. The puke got in my mouth.

HA HA HA HA HA HA UUUUUUUUUULLLLLGH

edit: the window was open but only half went out and half stayed in the car.


she cheated on charles

look at her second son and tell me if you can see anything wrong with his looks

http://asheepnomore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Prince-Harry-Real-Father.jpg

lol wtf


This guy does not know how camping trips are supposed to go, *at all*.


The dates are meaningless. There is 15 years worth of polish missing in dagger fall as well and it's a empty repetitive place. Net hack and rogue do random content better and that was 1980 for rogue and 1987 for net hack. Diablo came out in 1996 as well and it's game world was much more content dense and meaningless generated. Quantity doesn't mean much without quality.


He's not cup-tied, correct? I'm imagining a world where Lampard ends Chelsea's title hopes and Torres ends their CL run.


you deserve so many upboats


You shut your whore mouth


'Your field' LOL. Is this seriously a thing though? People need to hold their hand out in front of them to solve these problems? Some people genuinely cannot visualize the vectors in their heads? Am I part of a minority who can do this?


The guy next to Putin is Alexander Lukaschenko, the president of Belarus btw. Some call him the "last dictator of Europe". Also the picture is hilarious


because you are a fucking dicksucking faggot.  thats why.


A true masturbation pro. Burns his genitals with icy-hot and he only cares that he didn't get off.


How is that a body check? He was going for the block.


lol, you now have your own post in [SRS](http://www.reddit.com/r/ShitRedditSays/comments/s64pm/ill_be_glad_when_those_fuckers_srs_go_the_same/).  The downvoting fembots will be along soon...

(I've been targeted by the "Fempire" as they call themselves once or twice too in the past....experience a wave of downvotes, get curious, sure enough, I'm famous!)


She's actually attractive there for a black girl.


will you be my "father"?


Nude beaches don't have hot women like that. Most of them are overweight and 50+


The phrase "Cuz I'm alpha like that" probably shows up in a psychology textbook as a domestic violence red flag.


You should also refer to people as Homo Sapiens.


And I thought...

...they smelled bad...

...on the outsAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!


>WaysToAnnoyCelebrities.jpg

FTFY

Edit: I'm getting ruined.  JPGs can be animated too you know.


First rule about crossfit: Never shut up about crossfit


All users aren't tech savy. All users do not have other people to show them how android works. Reviews like this have been coming in for some time now.

Simple solution: just make an icon that when clicked sends you to the list of live wallpapers.


She sure handled herself with grace and patience however. Chick-fil-a needs to promote this young lady to some sort of PR position!


And yet here you are?

Edit: oh lordy the delicious madness ITT


As a guy with long hair, I could have told you that.

I make my own jumpers with it.


I don't think you understand what the word "accidentally" means...


I had to colour it: http://i.imgur.com/czzdu.jpg


You have to be a girl.


Was your friend 30 and living with his parents?


So, if the same word appears at least twice in a sentence, I just have to reply with "Yo dawg.." and I get free karma?

Got it.


They can smell the pixels.


and of course don't forget to add this one:

- stay the fuck away from github.


No, just a set of scales.


C) if you dig too deep and actually find something, you have a question about the validity of the super bowl champions


I remember the first child I kidnapped from a hospital. Once you get the bug you just can't stop, right?


But she's not hot and she can't act.


I feel this nation is headed down a bad path. I see whats going on over seas with the riots and martial law ect. I have decided that if that starts happening here, I will turn in my equipment. I will not be used to fight the people that I have taken an oath to protect.


> Lying, coersion, stealing, and more lying.
You could have just said 'Guy'

FTFY


His idol is Jaden Smith


The *normal* way of showing affection to your child is not kissing them on the lips. The cheek or the forehead is ok though.


Thats like banning balls from sports.


>~~I don't mean that all Muslims hate women, but Islam as a~~ religion is very misogynistic.


So the line "you play with my pickle like a champ" was fine but it was only the sugar tits line that looked out of place?!


Because Misandry Doesn't Real


My cousin erased my Final Fantasy memory card, completely. Every Final Fantasy for playstation, multiple games each, all maxed out, everything. That one card represented thousands of hours of gaming. I was literally nauseous when i found out.


yeah downvote me.

it's karma folks. you know how karma works right? keep that in mind when ya get your ass run over by a drunk.


"So disappointing that iMini died in this tunnel, he was literally 15 feet and 1 turn away from the exit. I don't think anybody will truly know why he decided to just stand there."


Hot *for a 40-year old*.  Sorry, I was just kinda surprised when I looked up pictures due to your comment.  Not actually *that* hot.


That's why Player1 splits, Player2 chooses.


Ya science, putting intense amount of deadly chemicals into your body almost killing yourself to just barely have an affect on killing the cancer. That's like drinking alcohol to kill a cold. There has to be another way...


Or made a public "API" to let others use it properly too. API isn't the right term, but I have no idea what to call letting others know your scanning process.


how can it be more clear? This clan was created during the coc beta


Wife here. I can confirm this.


...........

...................__

............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸

........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\

........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')

..........................'...../

..........''............. _.·´

..........................(

BRO FIST

IF YOU DONT POST THIS TO 5 BROS THEN YOU ARENT A BRO


>  I still like to bring it up, and she acts like she's not impressed, but we all know different.

That was definitely the moment when she decided she wanted you. That perfect aim, those flick of the wrists, that confident stare... what was I saying again?


Not only are they neglectful, they raised a moron.

Edit: Sorry, I see the down-votes and forgot to say I use the term "raised" loosely.


One of Macklemore's best nights of his life spent on reddit...Not Bad


Do the upvote first, then click downvote. All even!


as misguided as this comment is, it is still a great comment. Like a colorful missile landing in a schoolyard.


I have as much impulse control as fucks I give about fucking another women. Which means zero.

We, men, were born to impregnate as many women as we can. And we all should do that.


Note how door mouse did not specify that his girlfriend is the twin who like star wars.


Sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm not a troll. Just someone who doesn't think the way mainstream media wants us to think. I am 100% serious with everything I say and I will always advocate the Truth no matter how many down votes I get.

So ... KEEP 'EM COMING BOYS!!!!!


TIL I am highly devout


Reddit makes fun of this shit all of the time, what's your point?


That's actually what I was expecting to happen.


I'm assuming your username might suggest you have a slight bias.  Also, your neckbeard remarks are about as unoriginal as this post


I'm a teacher and will fart while walking by students' desks and watch the blame-game ensue.  Nobody EVER blames the teacher though.  Teachers are way too mature for that.

Edit: changed "to" to "too".  Dang, that's embarrassing.  I'm smarter than that (normally), I swear!


Til: being a douchebag is condemning people whom are fully capable of finding (aka typing for <10 seconds, such wow) the answer.


APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD

EDIT: heh, I had one more day left of gold before this happened


TL;DR.

Obligatory Downvote


One time my date wanted popcorn and a soda, I had to take out a second mortgage.


It doesn't give you the right to an opinion, off the bat, no, no it doesn't.

Go get yourself educated about these issues, and then come back. You have no special knowledge because you are straight and cis, and frankly, you are allowed in this community as a **statement of goodwill**.


the perspective at the end really nailed it.


please have some le upvotes for disagreeing with the antagonist


Surely OP will deliver.


They probably shouldn't have posted on their facebook that he smelled of booze... but I don't see how the airline should be held accountable for him showing up late and not asking for assistance.

edit: downvotes to the left.... but please explain why.  I am still not understanding what Alaska has done wrong.


I counted $3000.01
But that's just my two cents.
Edit: cash for gold


Yes- valid business decision but that's translated to a reduced experience for us.

You are talking man-years of development / testing / maintenance time- this is significant.

Note every change (e.g. heavy ammo bug) would need to be thoroughly tested on every platform. You are talking about 100% more effort required by adding 2 platforms.


Or touch his dick. That's just a good all round go-to.


Demagogue? That's a new one. Nice vocabulary, and I can't argue with anything you've called me here except for the fact that you find them to be insults (I mean, demagogue isn't literally accurate here, but you didn't mean it to be either).


Id just steal the dropcam. Theyre like 200 bucks.


You know what, jump to your reactionary conclusions as you like. i wont stand in the way of your outrage porn. I have no interest in defending anonymous me or anonymous TRP from people who have no interest nor intention in taking any other possible interpretation of events but the one they put their SJW finger on first.

You are like my paparazzi. I welcome you.


THANKS FOR THAT, CAPTAIN HINDSIGHT. NOW HERE'S TOM WITH THE WEATHER.


All of them  are from r/fitness, except the white fat dude, thats guy from 9gags, leader of 9gags army


I read this in a heavy russian accent and giggled but then frowned because this is sad


I had dysentery in my butthole.


protip: if you wear earplugs in the shower, you can hear the sound of *every* drop of water hit your head.


You could probably fake it for less than 20 million, just like last time


This situation brings up the question: Would you rather cross the street and look racist, or get mugged because you don't want to appear racist?

EDIT: A lot of people are saying the same thing. Obviously they can cross the street, I'm not saying if you cross the street you're safe. It's just if you cross the street you at least have a chance of getting away if they run after you.


It invalidates your standing in the debate, yes.


Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?


That's fine; but when they start to infringe upon your rights because of what they believe then perhaps you will care.

In a modern Western European country not caring about religious people is a luxury; in most other places around the world which suffer from the control of a religious morality police... one does not have that luxury.


TIL painal

Edit: TILIL painal


It's guy code....we know the rules. OP knew them too. Conscious decision made. Repercussions being felt.


I was thinking to myself "What the fuck is a noonches?". When I went to upvote you for content I saw your username.


People can learn by staying quiet, reading, and listening. You don't need to voice your opinion and have it shot down in order to learn.

Trust me, we are aware of the variety of ignorant arguments people make. I can probably make a bingo card there are so few original thoughts.


don't ruin her innocence


wow dude you got a lot of downvotes. Here have my upvote!


I think this is a great summary of the data. Especially the last sentence.


Ah, the old reddit switcheroo.

I'm too lazy to actually link it and get gets downvoted like at least half the time anyways. Find it yourself bros.


That.... is both ridiculous and funny. I'm sat cracking up over the idea of you running some kind of illicit milkshake lab from your bedroom.


If this could've been done i would cringe so hard if someone did it.


I'll allow it.

**Welcome aboard!**


dude.. just.. stop.. okay? thanks..


The deeply saddening thing about this load screen mod is that many of us PC gamers are unable to read the really helpful hints and tips before the area finishes loading.

This is why many PC Skyrim players are unaware that the character can sprint.


Upvote if you are a 90's kid (Only 90s kids will get this)!!


Only 'Zlatan apologizes for France being a shit country' would be better.


England sux, I'm happy it didn't get it and more happy that it lost first. You are angry only because England got outplayed in its own game. You really think England didn't try to bribe some hands?

Good for Qatar and good for Russia, I'm happy for them and all of you haters and sore losers can go fuck yourselves.


Sounds to me like you're actually half-shark. I'd roll with that one.


Guess I just did.

I don't read that kind of stuff and I don't watch Top Gear, it's boring.

I don't even know who the fuck that is.

But oh no! Someone who doesn't like the same person you do. Assuming you actually even like him and aren't just trying to suck Reddit's dick.


How dare you speak near me! I NEED BACKUP!


Good plan. You and your friends feel like piling in your Prius and coming down? Be my guest. A firefighter shot a bicyclist in the head there a couple weeks ago for no good reason.

I'm sure a few Yankees on Southern soil bagging some guy about his heritage display will end really well for you.


This. I remember thinking my first CD was some kind of black magic. Then I discovered you could PROGRAM the CD player to play a sequence of specific tracks in a row, or set it to repeat one track over and over again....holy shit. Now THAT was high tech.


I agree it's pure Puritanism. You should post up some candid sexy pics of your mom or sister....that'll teach'em!


you could say that souvenir got....

abduckted.

YEAHHHH


This is original content. Who are you to say it isn't? You have provided absolutely no proof. Julie is obviously OP's friend, you moron (-:

Once Reddit realizes that you are severely lacking proof, they, along with me, will send you into **downvote oblivion** (-:

*HAVE A GREAT DAY, ARGUMENTATIVE NECKBEARD!* (-:

Edit: I am mainly downvoting you as you are karmawhoring (-;


When I was in the Computer program in college there were only 2 girls in the entire program.  One was already married.  The other got nabbed up by... an Engineer.  There were 0 girls in the Engineering program.


Seriously. I remember being in middle school and feeling like a fucking hacker when I could make the computer faster by defragging it.


The only thing you didn't mention is satellite, which would still allow a limited amount of data to get through. although that would probably get reserved for the government and businesses.


gooood one.  wow, i am INSULTED.  yikes, you libs sure are good at insults.


I ate it. It was the biggest thing I ever shoved down my thro-

I mean, enjoyed. Enjoyed like a totally normal person.


downvoters explain pls


that sounds pretty creepy to me


no, it would be funnier if she did this and died at a bible camp


My sincerest apologies to the OP. I was the organizer for this meetup and I feel terrible about this. I really hope she can forgive me for this. And yes, I do plan on making this up to her!


My apologies I forgot that if something is a subreddit it is no longer morally wrong, inappropriate, or offensive. I'll just leave now...


not having a juggy reunion


Do black people work there? Sorry just curious 😖


Thanks so much! I don't have any talent though, just some practice hours :) Anyone can do it, it just takes a lot of time to be honest


Yes, that was the joke...

*edit*: Only morons enjoy the same joke twice.


MY CAT IS THE MESSIAH! LETS GO CELEBRATE BY OPPRESSING MINORITIES!


Yep, absolutely. Oh well, can't win 'em all.


Hmm... /u/Lynchie24 likes /u/Demetrius3D's comments. Maybe *I* should check them out.


In the regular season maybe.

He had a legit quad-double with turnovers in the 2014 playoffs.


That's.. Kinda sad actually


I used to ride the karma trains, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Only because wearing one increases the chance that you will live longer.


Upvoted for nice comment and username :)


No, it's magic. There was a wand and everything.


Seems like a pretty easy way of checking people would be to search any arabs and let the others pass through. But since thats for some reason unacceptable(political correctness>safety), they had to put in the body scanners and violate everyone's privacy instead.


And for that fish there is an extremely smaller fish that swims up the nasal cavity and eats their brain. Nobody is safe.


Yeah because we totally want to support EA games and the like. Who bleed out the ass to make their games.


Don't feel bad... I didn't drop any obvious clues in there... the whole thing was designed to ambush you.  If anyone got it before the end, I would love to know what tipped them off.


You...that's right, you. Good job.

Edit - hilarious gangbang of downvotes for no reason. Love this sub. I appreciate the record breaking number, too.


Yeah a tiny bit back. Paul's still going strong. So is Ringo...the other two...not so much.


so are whales? and albino ones more so?


Deer are majestic animals who should be allowed to run freely through the woods, so if you want to eat meat, do the humane thing and go to the grocery store and buy veal.

EDIT: Yes, I know that veal is not deer meat, I just thought more people would know the term "veal" than "venison", and yes, it was meant as sarcasm.


> landfill is designed to do more than store trash ... why use the trash can

go on.


Nobody EVER pays me in gum.... :-(


Why does that matter?


Except for the portion where no company has ever tried landing a stage one back on earth. So yeah. Almost is a pretty massive success. It would have landed perfectly if not for the short open hydraulic system which only allowed for 4 minutes of fin use. Ran out of fluid. They've added 50% more fluid for next flight

Source: I work there


And what are MRAs actually doing about it? Oh yeah nothing but blaming woman and feminists. Like MRAs bring up some problems that need to be addressed but then they don't actually do anything about it or offer any solutions. All they do is whine about how terrible feminism and woman are.


Why don't they lock them downstairs with the pets ? They should be perfectly safe there. Give them a comic and a bowl of water and they're all set.


I used to have sex with friends, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


General rule: They are.


Well it was a bad joke. You deserve down votes.


You just described Argos.


ka-ching! $$$$

another veterinary bill...


I interpreted that as them having no mechanics of how rowing a boat works, and the girls on one side thinking if they rowed their side, the boat would turn, without realizing what the boat's turn radius is like.


Soccer players having a million dollar home and a supermodel wife? Where is this magical land? Here soccer players get at best ignored (more commonly scorned) by the media and are fourth string athletes.


The key is placing the blame properly


do you have a couple pic? U guys probably look good together anyway. My gf is 11 years younger.


Not being able to use the phone and the internet at the same time!


A few years ago I was disfigured in an a horrible accident, I don't want to go into the details. Anyways it left me with a messed up teeth and my jaw line just doesn't match my face anymore. I was wondering if maybe your friend could draw me and fix my disfigurements, make me look like a real person again. Thanks.

http://i.imgur.com/FIsnW.jpg


And that kids, is how I met your mother.


I hope you like it

[Saddest picture of the century-vulture waiting child to die](http://saddestpictureof2.tk/)


Haha well in her defense-as a mother that would scar me for life.


Well it sounds like it's hard to get.


When I pick my daughter up and let her grab onto the monkeybars (at her request), she immediately starts furiously kicking her legs and farting. It's hilarious. She's 5.

Holy shit, she's already 5. Fuck.


It's fake.

**Edit:** Keep em comin.

**Edit #2:** http://i.imgur.com/1KwBM.gif


I think that would be a person whose conception was caught on video.


doesn't at the very least the person who makes the group have to friends with every1 ho joins the group? so if the professor is in the group either he made the group and friended every student, or a student made the group and at the very least that 1 student had to friend the professor.


I don't think this qualifies as a victory...


WHITE KNIGHT DETECTED

THIS COMMENT IS GOING TO GET HIM SOOOOO LAID WITH ALL THE INTERNET FEMALES


I think Microsoft would prefer you Bing the problem.


I'm not, it's the fucking internet. Somebody told me "i hope you get raped" even IRL I'd just be all, "lol, k."


In my old office, it was trolls all the way down. It became a running joke after one of the corporate managers hit "reply all" in order to complain about people hitting "reply all." So on every single company-wide e-mail forever after, there were always another hundred e-mails effusively thanking each other. I found it entertaining.


I don't care if people make fun of me honestly. Call me spot or shit like that because I have vitiligo, but it won't effect me because everyone is entitled to say and think what they want. That is the benefit of living in a free nation.


They hate us 'cause they anus.


If polls like this actually made a difference I'd vote for Reigns just to fuck with WWE for putting on such mediocre shows.


Or that she poops at all?  Must be a glitch because they're not supposed to do that.


IT isn't "basement peasants", they're vital staff. That one guy who runs Arch will be the only one able to unfuck the secretary's computer when the amount of viruses becomes larger than the amount of vital data.

Edit: and janitors make sure you don't wind up crushed under the tide of trash you throw away daily. Seriously, everybody has a part to play in a successful company.


A campus shooting for once that doesn't involve guns.


This really depends on which feminists you're talking about. The term encompasses a vast spectrum which ranges from egalitarians to people who legitimately resemble the hyperbole in this comic.


Please don't tell 4chan


"Are you under **le** impression you know EVERYONE your boyfriend has ever spoken to in his entire life??"

Her creepy ass picture just made me close my curtains


**south-to-north:** You're letting me go?

**Cracker Factory Executive:** south-to-north, crackers are a family food, happy families. Maybe friend-zoners eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without.

**south-to-north:** So, that's it after 20 years? "So long. Good luck?"

**Cracker Factory Executive:** I don't recall saying "good luck."


gqbrielle has multiple personality disorder. i am another personality, you ignorant jackass :D


I'm just happy to see that you can hit the 'reply' button


Bahahaha seize all the pussy!!!

The worst part about a comment you thought was funny getting downvoted to crap, slowly watching your karma die:(


Exactly.  Pay off all your debts now and live like you never got the rest of the gift.   Invest it and don't touch it.


Your lossi. I'm sure they were major losses, too. Colossi, really.


My fav is when the local catholic church lets out and they have two exits ... people will get out of one exit and then stop (denying me right of way) to let people out of the other exit ...

You're not being nice when you stop at a green or free movement area to let people out on the road ... you're being an asshole.


Wait,  is he dead now?  Edit: was making fun of the commenter's use of past tense.  Now my most downvoted comment ever!  Bring it!


I don't think so. You have to remember that Perry is also quite proficient in martial arts, getting hit with his tail stings like a bitch, he's venomous, and he's a master of disguise. Seriously, one second you'll be looking at him, the next and he'll be gone, replaced with an ordinary platypus. And then the next... POW! PERRY THE PLATYPUS?


Seems like a really douchey thing to say and really doesn't even make much sense if you sit and think about if for a second.


Is that difficult to get accustomed to?  Do you have to reprogram your alarm clock every day or do you have a special alarm clock that runs on Mars time?


its my job to say something stupid to see whether the guys on this subreddit who actually watched bw prior to 2009 will get angry at me


Secret ASIAN Man,

Givin' you a baby, and takin' away your race...


Your lame attempt at humour has failed.


She bought your brother a material good, and bestowed upon you the key to salvation?  You're so the favorite!


Still mad about 2006? Don't worry you'll win a cup eventually.


Keyboards run on electricity and electricity is so *mainstream*. In Scandinavia, everything runs on the souls of burning reindeer and they use herring instead of guitar picks. It's so... *connected*... you know what I mean?


I wouldn't feel the need to correct them if they weren't using the fact that others are as smart as me as evidence that I'm wrong when I say it's stupid to be jealous of someone for anything romantic.


Yes, I'm typing this from the Nexus.


At the same time, human beings have had successful relationships without a phone and internet for centuries. "Taking away" a phone or internet is kind of a null in an argument.


Ironically, now *they* know if you're coming.


Kanye is, his music is so dumb it causes brain cells to die. Will the Kartrashian clan have a cameo in the video as well. They grab every PR opportunity there is. Or will Kanye bring his gay lover Riccardo Tisci to be in the video instead, LOL


Directions unclear, threeway scheduled for Saturday


Yes, That is what we all would like. I was literally just stating a fact... and for some reason I'm on -15 which does not really make much sense?


>Ducks it all up [...]

"You know the bed feels warmer

Sleeping here alone

You know I-- **QUACK QUACK QUACK**

**QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK**"


If you must know, we had arranged for couples' therapy to happen before -any- cheating began. But my husband's work-schedule made it difficult, so he couldn't make it.

Please refrain from making any judgement until you yourself have been in a similar situation.


Same with my ex wife!


So did I, and I'm pretty sure he says 'now' earlier in the sentence... If you're going to pull a quote from a 2-minute video, at least get it right? Don't downvote; test comment.


I'll sell you some apostrophes. ' ' ' ' Pick whichever one you want.


Saw it and was immediately like "that's r/pics gold." Now I find myself hoping for the loss of my front page virginity. Fingers crossed.


Her camera must have run out of ink.


well played good sir! have an upvote


>Doing the sex

This is my new favourite phrase.


After that game against Coast? I don't think so. If CLG struggles that hard against a bottom tier team, idk what they'll do against TSM


My biggest reason for unsubscribing to /r/atheism is because of the lack of open-minded discourse. I dislike religion because people typically cram their belief down your throat (whether they mean to or not), and /r/atheism is doing the same thing with their beliefs. I don't need a subreddit to remind me of my atheism.


Ohhh look at me, I'm so poor I can't even afford soup boohoo


With a remarkably active Twitter page!
https://twitter.com/#!/EggSafetyCenter


It's called a sampling error, idiots.

There's no way Valve can ever upload at that speed, no way your shitty PC can ever handle that many packets in one second without catching fire and no way a commercial network switch can route that many packets down to your box -- even if you have optics linked right into your box.

Use common sense and move on.


Damn, I'm a lady 100% of the time. How do you do it?


well the kid was infact being mean to the autistic kid, so while the kid who had autism couldn't really help being autistic, the faggot was being a faggot. I'm all for using strong words in a situation like this. that is really a stupid reason to downvote


That was my first thought as well. Try to get most people on W10 and push the app store to recoup money. Popular strategy lately, like how Google would sell Nexus phones at a loss.

Either that or charge for updates.


the sad part is you probably truly believe those were intelligent responses.


I wouldn't be surprised if the "Mac and Me wheelchair scene" is included before the movie as a false opening. Their ad campaign is already so cheeky.


Biggest bitch in the whole wide world!

edit: Bring the down votes, fickle whores


Step 1. Be attractive

Step 2. Don't be unattractive


That is hard to hear from a fellow ally.


now we can talk about how it's going to be too angry


I'll be there. Wouldn't miss it for the world.


Upvoted because FUCK YOU AND YOUR HAPPINESS.

...

I'm so alone :(


It's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad I know


Yes I was told to apply here for dick suck ?


Google is a huge player in taking your rights away.  Anything they did would be a ruse.

wake up sheeple.   you have no say in anything


From what I have read, Psy is a very gracious guy.


Guys, downvote this cunt -_-


I've had the same girlfriend for four years.

HEY LOOK EVERYB--but yeah, girlfriend. Who also likes reddit. Shame on you.


You're adorable. Hey, when you go upstairs from the basement, tell your mom to make me a sandwich. The same kind she normally makes after I fuck her in the ass until she can't move.

<3 KEESES


"yep, that's a baby alright."


doesn't matter, it's still needlessly complicated.


I did, she now won't talk to me.

I live with my father, and that alone had her saying "I can't believe you took his side, how could you do this to your mother" etc etc.

That bridge has been burned.


It is necessary. We all know it really is.


Well for now we can at least say "AYYYY SEXY LADYYY" whilst watching Gangman Style.


A DVR is technically considered a computer, and what OP did was to gaun unauthorized access to a computer, which is a felony.  It doesn't matter that he had the password... and the situation is exacerbated by the fact that he destroyed data in the process.

He could be in a world of trouble.


SHITTY WATERCOULOR IS ANNE FRANK


Indeed, fucking toss crybabies. We should all switch to Toss in HotS.


Either way, you know R. Kelly got excited for a moment.


they're better off than the pretards (like you) who pretend you know all about 'good' sex and what's appropriate. you see you are doomed to wallow in ignorance and supersticion for as long as you pretend to know all about things (eg god) you actually know NOTHING about. you fall farther and farther behind. looking ahead at others and condemning their choices as 'bad'...'jaded'. sheesh. pretards.


That really is an excellent point.


He didn't serve anyone!

Save those plaudits for people who actually enlisted and served, not people who were there for business and got caught up.


How are none of these replies catching the joke?


This was on facebook tho


"Will you forget about the stupid pioneers?! Haven't you ever noticed that there are NONE of them left?! That's because they were lousy hitchhikers, ate coral, and took directions from ***ALGAE!*** And *now* you're telling me, they thought they could *drive-*"

[gets run over by rock]

"....rocks?!"


Please note that your opinion is worthless


"Abs are made in the kitchen"

edit: Thanks for upvotes and the fact that this is my highest rated comment ever, maybe I should take this little slogan to heart and hit the kitchen.


WHAT?!? ROCKSTAR WANTS YOU TO BUY SHARKCARDS SO THEY CAN MAKE MONEY?! WHAT KIND OF BUSINESSES ARE THEY RUNNING?!


So did they rape and kill you after?


So unrealistic. Real cops would have shot him.


Couldn't unseen it?

She was probably just trying to get the taste of your dick out of her mouth.


JEDI FIGHTING MARINES!
http://i.imgur.com/QQKmkfX.png


that is a pic off a tv and this is a screen shot off my computer are you blind or just retarded


Your name is limpbizkit1848. Just saying.


It looked to me like "I'm an actor-type who gets pissed when the spotlight isn't on me - even if it's just for some third rate interviewer".


Thank you for the useful comment without a pun.


You have not seen me playing anyway


>It's pretty cool.

Yeah , literally.


I understand, but no offense, you can't victim blame and expect everyone to donate for the hope of something better.

Provide the service first.


so, how is 2025 my time traveling friend?


That deserves a vote up.


It's way better as a video. Who the hell made a gif of the entire animation??


I think it might be about avoiding lawsuits. You show a game on there without the company's permission and they might go after you. Especially if you're rich like Google who would probably rather settle out of court to avoid bad publicity.


...and if the first doctor confirms that you are in fact a dalmatian you might want to go see a veterinarian.


You should make a response to the OP's video, skinny guy bragging about how genetically fortunate and lazy he is. Could be a nice little satire piece.


you could potentially clip their nails - serious security issue


MOMMYY WHY DOS DA WEDDIT HATE ME??????????????? GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


> finger in my pooper and everything

That's how you know it's actually the best you've ever had.


light one up

pass it

and hope that bitch make it back shiiiite


Well, it's certainly not pizza deliverymen who do it!


They were calling to harass his twitter.


Wow...
 Can you imagine what went through his head; hands trapped and in pain while his only(?) friend in the whole world just runs away :(

Were his hands okay?

Edit: I accidentally a word


well *excuse me* im new take it easy on me


It was most likely one of the girls. This looks like a bus ride to a semi-formal event which the brothers bring dates. No brother would film and post something like that but a date was probably appalled at it.


haha?

 you're getting screwed out of 20k and you're laughing and asking for free legal advice, either you're a dumbass or there is more to this story which you're telling us.

if it were me i'd have lawyered up and already have a small claims court application filed,


Let me call my guy in, he's an expert on stainless steel swords found in Montana.


This is crazy, somehow my comment with my proof and gilded comment from the thread days mysteriously got deleted and now my posts are being removed from this thread,

If you could copy/pasta my response to the thread you have my full permission


Which is exactly what I was imagining.  I could almost picture him (her?) roaming the streets trying to convince randoms of what a brilliant joke it is.


Can I turn the jerk off for a second?

It's not unconstitutional. Mayors do this with liquor stores, dry counties, strip clubs etc. How is this any different?


you are a veteran of the internet. as am i.


Never has a PM been more hated then this one and that was before the media got involved. I don't want to have a PM incharge that use to be / is a communist.


what do you think about the abortion clinic?


Both parties demonize one another.  Don't be so quick to spew shit out of your mouth.


Were they by any chance on a mission from God?


downvoting so you find better things to do with your time


Holy Christ, there were so many bullshit rumours floating around like that when he left. Murdered, sent to jail, car accident, suicide, drugs, pedo, etc.


Ha ha! Your girlfriends are lame!


I've been following this today like a fucking Mexican telenovela.  When I saw your comment, I stopped dead in my tracks and thought, "Holy shit... this guy is right.  I could be playing video games right now."  And so it shall be.


lOl Daa RoMbA!!! SO FaNy!!!!


Well you are having a bad day


i'm not even going to bother reading this unless you use paragraphs.


Goddamit.

&#3232;_&#3232;


If you think women rape men as often as men rape women, I have some ocean-front property in Arizona I'd like to sell you.

>You're a stupid fuck

You mad bruh? You seem pretty mad...


Last time I heard that, my pimp was about to smack me upside the head with his cane.


I'm comfortable with that.  Animated GIFs can kiss my hairy white ass.  The people who post them are worse than war criminals.  OH BOY IT'S TWO AND A HALF SECONDS OF SMALL RESOLUTION, NO-SOUND PORN.  I CAN TOTALLY GET OFF TO THAT!


Yeah, the old "call me when you don't have cancer" pickup line. Works every time.


That's ok, I made you out to be a better person than you were.


Damn right. She'd realize I'm neither original or hillarious, just a jaded asshole.


Your reply adds nothing to the discussion, kindly read the reddiquette before posting on reddit. Downvoted.


Every neighborhood in Florida has that old ass hairy dude from New York with a gold chain around his neck. He's alright...


Sweeping generalisation, yup, sorry - I need to kick that habit. All I was trying to say is a lot of people come to me with their relationship problems and the whole wanting attention from someone other than the SO at the same time is a lot more common than I had previously thought. Most girls crave attention!

Edit: someone please confiscate my shovel


I was about 4 and a half and WWI had started but the USA wasn't involved yet.


i don't care what they play dress up as, born male = male. born female = female

if i wanted to identify as a black person it would be racist.


I don't know who Lofgren is, but just for that she's got the kind of balls that I like.


Whoa Whoa Whoa... are you trying to set back the Men's Rights movement? He got a legally binding contract with the mother and part of said contract was a very normal medical procedure that (like it or not) the AMA endorses as safe.

So you want to rip this man's rights away from him and allow a woman to get away with this kidnap? no sir... I say /r/pussypassdenied!


It's a strategy of ambiguity. They aren't saying nukes are in Crimea, but they aren't saying they aren't there either. It's poker for assholes.


> He usually sleeps over at my place but I always wake up before him and put my makeup on because he sleeps in so late.

This is all on you. You have been hiding your natural face from him. And yes, I would feel lied to also.


Literally no one.

Congress would now have to pass a law creating a new entity in charge of oversight of law enforcement. Ridiculous.

The Supreme Court is a laughing stock. Once the most prestigious branch of government is now the most obsolescent, and the complete turnaround only took a decade.


Maybe get off tumblr and learn to take a joke like how your people take a dick.


Watch really bad television. Like...*The Bachelor.*


Seems like EG fangays were quick to downvote you.


Hi, I'm here for the circlejerk?


> woman

Sasquatch

FTFY


Welcome my son.... welcome... to the <repost> machine...

Edit- floyd is my top comment? I'm ok with that.


This is the FUCKING INTERNET SHIT STEAK. You think what happens on the internet translates to the real world? Anyway I didn't even read your whole post because you're one big spoiler so fuck you.


"IT'S SO HOT OUT. MILK WAS A BAD CHOICE."


Comparing MRAs to SRS is doing you no favors, lol.

MRAs are just as useless as SRSers.

You're right, men should be able to cry about internet drama.


Tell her she better save enough money now, because she's going to be paying her own rent when she is old.


Ahh. Name calling. That's always the mature way to go about expressing that you don't agree with either of us.

*Edit:* I don't even care. Downvote me all you want. Reddit's maturity level has clearly taken a nosedive.


Then I saw the classy mother fucker in the back


One does not simply use IE to download Chrome.


Exactly. I would get fired if I spoke my mind at work. So the people that stand up or let me vent are heroes to me. My personal favorite moment is when some drunken fool was making extremely uncomfortable passes at me. One of my regulars simply looked at him and said, "She can't tell you what she wants to, so I'll do it for her. Fuck off."


Responding just makes you look like a bigger faggot


If they let 6 year olds play with tablets in playtime it is a shitty school.  6 year olds need running around and getting dirty.  They'll sit before a computer all day soon enough.

My son also has an own laptop in elementary school, but they use that in Computer Class and that's it, otherwise they have an awesome playground and older children who suggest and lead games for them.


No... It's just "wow," this is amazing, and it doesn't need to be belittled through the use of cheesy jokes.

"wow" is the most accurate response possible.

Hats off to you OP.  This is the best Minecraft post I have ever seen.


Couches are risky, may have tenants in them.


>the driver was panicked and was trying to get away

It's funny how the Zionists are always panicking... Little kids make them panic, refugees make them panic, Christians, Muslims, bad weather, questioning the holocaust e.t.c. always make them panic...

And in their panic they end up killing thousands of innocents...

Poor Zionists...


Marry her and take all the money!


My train of thought was along, if you are going to ban something. Why not ban the accessories as well?


*A song as old as rhyme..*


Im sorry your talents are wastednat S2


i'm sure it was dropped once and never used


when a couple of guys up to no good...


No, you are spot on. Blowjobs last 5 minutes. a bottle of liquor lasts like half an hour.


well when there's 4 comments at the time of your post, it couldn't hurt to look for a second to see the 2 other exact same comments.


Pharell William's hat is the only man-made wearable object that can bee seen from space with the naked eye. This one's a fact.


Have you ever seen a photograph of him?


I had to run a training seminar. My boss berated me after for not opening with that activity. I still won't do it for future seminars.

You're welcome


I'd like one towel head extra crispy, to go.


The proof is trivial and left as an exercise to the reader.


Because it's for government use. They will pay any price, so they jack it up super high. The more a government department spends, the more income they will have on the next budget cycle.


The type of woman than doesn't urge their 22 year old son to fledge the nest after a 4 year post-high school "break."


I have a better idea.

How about you get out.


Personally I am partial to Reddit News on android. They recently had a redesign of the app and it is super nice looking.

If you're IOS, I hear the best option is Alien Blue.

Edit: if you are looking for other apps, everyone is being very generous and suggesting all the apps below! Even for windows phone!


"I used to be an adventurer like you, until I took an arrow to the knee."

I'm sorry, I had to!


Hes in...
A Land Before Time


*COUGH COUGH NOOB COUGH COUGH*


How about "I ... I've been meaning to tell you. I can't have kids."


shut the fuck up you stupid bitch....


That doesn't make any sense. Why is Helen Keller driving a car? She's a woman.


4/20?

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah, dude!


"but sir the food in Moscow....its not good"
"Shut up jeeves I know that, we're just going to go a McDonald's."


Ice screamed when i watched this.


Keratosis pilaris! I have it too. Your doc can prescribe a nightly cream that clears it up really well!


Highschooler...

Beer...

She asked for it.


I read an article awhile back about a chimp they had taught sign language. One of the teachers had to miss a few days, and when she came back the chimp was signing that she was mad at her for being away. The woman signed that her baby had died (she had miscarried, I believe) and the chimp thought about it and then signed "SAD".

Made. Me. Cry.

Monkeys and apes are amazing.


You should mind your own shitty pet.


Requires a physical injury, in the contract it actually goes to my boss...but im sure he wouldn't be that mean and not let me have it...


I used to be a legend amongst men, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Oh don't even put that amazing thought in my head


Again, still a better love story...


But why did you give gold, how is that logical ? You gave gold for logic, not something you enjoyed or found funny. I'm willing to bet you hate logic..

EDIT: my gold virginity has been broken, thank you kind sir


Are you a chick, and if so would you show us your D cannons?

Edit: Jesus, it was a tasteless joke, not the end of the world. Calm down guys.


The 'slut' double-standard always kind of bugged me. If a woman sleeps with a bunch of dudes, she's a slut, but if a guy goes out and does the same thing, all of a sudden he's "gay".


Not too bright, are we now?


Regard this female. Acquire cardio.


Is she in kindergarten?


So.. ^much.. ^^sportmansship..

It's too much for me.

( Check out /r/respectporn )


This guy is right.

Ever since I used to be a young boy, I dreamed about becoming a real life elephant. Now that I have gone through the process of mentally and physically changing myself to a true elephant, I should be treated like a true elephant. How did I type this? I have Man to Elephant welfare to support me.

I'M A FUCKING ELEPHANT, I DESERVE TO WIN ELEPHANT OF THE YEAR


I feel like a better account name for you would be CHLOROFORMICATION.


Can we get past faggot meaning a homosexual male? It means someone who is weak and feminine. When every male in America screams "Suck my dick, faggot" while playing video games, it's time to accept that the definition has changed.


Paris Hilton made you a sandwich? That's going to be hard to top.


>had sex or oral sex with men once and been straight

Your orientation may be straight but you are gay at that point.

Edit: Can any of you youngsters tell an old man who is obviously confused at what point you do become gay if it is not when you let a man fuck you in the ass?


Do you mind if we actually use your idea? That's really cute!


I used to be a stoner with no goal in life, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


For 50 bucks I'll do whatever you want, sugar


shutthefuckupanddontcommentonthegoddamnpostifyouhavealreadyseenit.txt

Edit: WOOO!!! My most downvoted comment of all time!!! Thanks guys!


Despite the headline, the article doesn't say any students chose that terrible strategy.


They speak, okay there you go, question answered. Bye


haha, shut the fuck up. keep praying to your invisible sky man you schizophrenic retard.


Why not? Cheese pizza is great.


Yet another who conflates difficulty with priority.


Same tactic as with jeans.


thats because your an intollerant prick.    There are many people who believe in god, and subscribe to the theories and facts in science.

Nowhere in the bible does it say its a sin to believe what science teaches us.  that i know of anyway.


Woah woah woah. Let's not get crazy now.


Well it's not quite as bad as a democratic leader claiming he has the right to assassinate citizens without any judicial oversight, but this board seems to think that's a minor issue. I mean it's only murder, and this is name calling, so I get it...


Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded.


Nice try ex bf!

**e:** Curses! I would have gotten away with this harmless joke too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!


> "Nope, just eating a burrito made from cat shit and aborted fetuses."

Awesome.  I never thought I'd find a comment that would actually make my nickname relevant.


No shit! That poor girl can't do anything with a little stub


And to think that in a couple hundred years, we might have the technology to turn a burning, smoldering crater into a relatively large city.


Jokes on us! Last time we lost a bunch of games in the regular season we got REALLY laughed at as we won the Super Bowl. I remember it was the same season mike **singletary** was pulling down his pants in front of his own team?

Edit: wrote nolan instead of sIngletary.


That's how you know it's staged.


The cops wouldn't have been at his house if he never sold them weed in the first place.

Moral of the story: dont sell weed


Supplement it with 1 John 4:8 "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."


I'd rather you get tazed for thinking it's okay for officers to attack citizens without cause.


Are you going to eat any of that bear shit?


Who cares. Please see yourself out and do not return.


Awesome! free legal advise!


I didn't enjoy Firefly or Serenity. Seemed like a cheap Star Wars ripoff. True story.

Reverse circlejerk engage. I'll be in my bunk.


"My mom's friend said 'God Bless You' on my FB wall. WTF. I sent her a message that said this 'Fuck you bitch. I do whatever I want and you and your stupid god loving people can fuck off.' How'd I do , reddit?" - Typical r/Atheism thread.


There's  pretty good reasons why Skrillex sucks. I'll even number it:

1) Ruining music isn't funny

2) Dubstep is not only annoying, but how is that "music?"

3) Skrillex just sucks, period.


It is why little boys are always such little shits.


I suspect most men do. It's just that the jew-faggots who run the fashion and media industry give the false impression that death camp survivor is a sexy look.


My best friends little girl has commented a number of times on my weight over the years. I've just lost a lot of weight over the last year and the other day she said "I think I like fat you better".


lmao you keep using these words and phrases you heard as if you know what they mean. It's fucking hilarious.


So, turn it into Real World - Canada, eh?


I recognize she is female. The word b#### is a word that implies women are like dogs. Its a word to specifically refer to a female. Its anti women and yes it does effect other women when you call a woman this. It adds to a woman hating culture. No need to encourage that kind of thing.


I wish I could've finished college. My children are doing very well in life, but I wish could've given them more.


Isn't that acclaimed Hollywood actor that played the antagonist in Apocalypse Now: redux?


Looks like you are getting the final boss right after the tutorial... good luck bro


I'd like to know how you know that.. O.o ..Ya know.. For science..


Chicken movie director?


Why not? It shows a person (although drawn) playing a game. Also, the screen clearly shows Space Invaders.


Smithing increased to 45.


>then amends poo poo bot

That's actually built in. I'm not really sure when I added it, but I'm pretty sure I had been awake for too long.

Also, that's not troll bait, RMS is ridiculous and brings essentially nothing positive to the open source movement. I always bring up his pro-pedophilia comments/similar when people are saying he's oh-so-brilliant.


1) Agree.

2) Sleep with other girls, still sleep with her.

3) She catches you, breaks up with you and bad mouths you to your friends.

4) You: "No, we were in an open relationship. She slept with other people, too."

Friend: "She said she was allowed to sleep with other guys, but you couldn't sleep with other girls."

You: "WTF? Why would I possibly agree to that?"


If you're professing that to reddit then the chances are you're ugly as fuck.

Fatassed loser.


...from fapping too much


So basically you're still a sub-group within electrical engineering


welp, there goes my question...


I do!

Jay Kay

*This sub is turning into a shithole. Downvote me to oblivion. Stupid 12 year olds lol*


The inside truth is that this government was set up for an activist population.  You scream the most, people will listen.  You get others to scream, Congress listens, etc.  It is all about leadership and caring.  The only problem is that most of us are so busy it is hard to make a difference.


Lol ya might wanna retake a class or two then bud. This ain't the catcher in the rye, this is the internet.


*Finally,* an honest answer in this thread.


only applies to bacon strips, bacon strips, bacon strips


"Sure babe, I'm totally using a forcefield right now. There's no way you'll get pregnant!"

You mean practical jokes like that right?


I do know what she means, but the fact is, *all* animals are killed in order to be eaten. So by that logic, she should be a vegan.


WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

THIS IS A STORY ALL ABOUT HOW


Its not over yet. I'm not sure what your deal is but I really don't need to hear negative shit like this now.


How does such a pure and innocent mind exist on Reddit?


Nooo....notice how she's covering her gut?  I don't thiiiiink she's pregnant....well...maybe she is carrying...400 burgers from THE MAX!


Call the building inspector.  The landlord will make up his mind right-quick.


Just because they don't lay you down on a table and pump your body full of poison doesn't make them savages.  This person probably committed some crime under their standards and they killed him for it.  You should not judge someone's actions based on a series of images.


I like Pavel Datsyuk. He has the best hands I have ever seen.


the internet has made me into a terrible person i can only hope that they catch me before i reenact every thing i have seen, heard and read here


Shut up otter, you're drunk.


No my friend did the secret Santa last year and that's what turned me onto it I just never got around to creating an account until recently


Fuck the sack of grain, fuck the chicken, fuck the fox.


Meh. You can get by with just an okay center. It's much more important to have a good LT. Look at the Packers' O-line if you want an example of what happens when your LT isn't up to par.


And I frankly hope they are hit by all of the tires.  I get a lot of security system salesmen calling my number thats on the list and they are fully aware that what they are doing is illegal, to the point where they hang up on me when I start trying to dox their company.


> I'd prefer it was only with my boyfriend.

That's dumb.  I could probably fuck you harder and better, but I digress.  I'm also probably better-looking, but I digress.


No, it's the children who are wrong.


Or you come back in, inform the CoC you're here working, fix shit, sign back out on leave.


Operation: Acquire Girlfriend has been in planning stages for many years.


And that's the way it should be.


Random Fact of the Day: Polar bear liver is inedible, as it contains large amounts of vitamin A and is highly toxic.


I imagine you to be about 5 years old with the way you talk ಠ_ಠ


> Fun Fact:
>
> You could have just said "-40°" since that happens to be the point at which the temperature is the same in both Centigrade and Fahrenheit.


not all, but they dont make them like they used to.


This is worse than when I found out the Easter Bunny is bald :(


How long do you feel righteous when you catch a typo? How long does the douche-bag high last for? Or, are you already off to scour Wikipedia for missing punctuation.


I'm not sure how I feel about making it to 27 without realising there's a fucking unicorn on my passport.


not like they were ever needed to "outright win" but u lot dumb as fucking doorknobs anyway


PLAYAAAAAAAA

fuckin genius


Not to mention SRS giving a shit ton of attention.

EDIT: Who knew I could lose that much karma so fast?

...cool! I should go experiment in other subs!


Sounds kinda... hot.


> Speaking in a common language isn't "censoring yourself".

Isn't suppressing what comes naturally to me censorship?


How did u manage to get the username James?


Though call, they said the same thing about Rosa parks fucking up people's commute too I'm sure


This is another absolute.


Sorry guys, I think he will survive tho!

By all means keep downvoting my post, I got 4620 karma to get rid of! FIRESALE!!


*slinks off in shame*


When it comes to that sub, I say bring it.


For a minutes, I thought you meant "beirut" as in the band and I was sort of caught off guard. Like, "Is indie rock really that intense?"

And then I felt stupid.


The very first link goes to a propaganda rag distributed to ex-pats in Russia. May as well quote the National Enquirer.


I'm a Chinese Video game writer & editor, now I'm writing a report about this. I hate these rip-off jerks just like you and I know that feel bro.
By report this in Chinese media we may able to help you to put this down.


>The whole episode needed to be devoted to destroying any semblance of hope they would/could represent the BotB in any satisfying way.

Fixed.


It was explained to me by a school friend as "when a boy puts his penis in a girls mouth" and I couldn't for the life of me imagine why anyone would do that. So I concluded it was a trust exercise. The girl wouldnt bite, and the boy wouldn't pee. Thus they were truly in love.


Wah wah, people aren't giving me their jobs!


OKAY, NOW YOU'RE JUST JUGGLING.  PLEASE SIR.


I can comment anything I want and still get downvotes.

HEY EVERYONE  I HAVE I 1 INCH DICK.  DOWNVOTE IF
YOU DISAGREE

HAHA NOW I WIN


My name is Linn. I used to own a Kindle until... We've got a burn notice on you. You're blacklisted.


if you didnt get it then you shouldn't get it now

get off my lawn.


I was fully conscious the whole time.

First, it was terrifying watching it run over my leg, over my hip, over my chest and right towards my head. I remember the extreme pressure and how much it hurt and then it was all over with. After that I remember just laying on the asphalt unable to move but thinking how happy I was to see the sky again.


7200 is much louder and i wont recommend it


I think it's best to go back in and ask the manager what the typical tip was, then explain that the waiter came outside and embarrassed me in front of people by asking for more, and finish by saying I wouldn't be returning.


When they're black, a lot of shit just gets overlooked.  Here, America.  Take a look into this mirror.  Your grandchildren will believe you were the goddamned devil.


I'm not alone!! The same happens to me, it looks like I'm crying a lot when I'm  really just a bit tired, but no one cares about if I'm crying or not :(


Down voted by white people.


At least she was cool about it.


Let me guess, you're one of those people that when pulled over by the police, you blather on about the rights you read on some internet forum, and you make them wait an hour for their supervisor to get there, instead of simply answering the questions and leaving in 5 minutes, right?


>561,000 karma

Mhm.  Sure.  Below the line.


If I have to spend life with people like you then I'd rather live 1000 lifetimes alone.


CNN had **ONE** job to do...


Your girlfriend looks like a narwhal.


**You Wouldn't Download a Beehive!**


Sorry I joined reddit to voice my opinion. No matter how many up or downvotes I get, no matter how overused and cliched it is so Suck it.


I mean they're a business. Why would they charge $5 for something when the same number of people will buy it for $10?

I agree that they should be held to a higher standard though. I'm paying almost $80/mo for 20Mbps right now...


If you're going to downvote me and really hurt what is almost certainly a wonderful mother who likely devotes 21 hours a day to her child, at least provide a reason you cowards.


I'm waiting for that dude that got an encrypted message to deliver. Tomorrow, July 19th.


I never got why Americans call it that. They realize that the X in "faux" is silent, right? That the word is pronounced the same as "pho" as in "pho soup"?


Drug patch was a ton of fun but the uninstall was a bitch.


I consider SRD to often engage in the building of vote bridges, not necessarily always of downwards-sloping ones. Y'all upvote the hell out of people you consider to be on your side in threads, not just downvote the ones who aren't. The amount of votes ranges by topic.

And the point of the bot isn't to imply SRD is a downvote brigade.


Dude. That isn't ok.


Its OK, he broke his hands.


You sir are an artisan among Ikea employees.


Wow, um so, you yourself are 13, don't talk down to your peers, on any forum, including anonymously on the internet.


Turning away someone because of their race is an excellent way to get your message out about racism.


And then you think about it for a second and realize the story is complete BS and it let's you know how easily manipulated human beings are because superstitious beliefs are buried so deeply in our DNA from generation after generation of moronic religious beliefs.


No, he paints all possible scenarios then just waits until the time is right to cash in on the karma. Quite ingenious really.


Go get fucked, asshat.


His parents are waaay too nice to him. The only reason a family gets along that well is because somebody has a terminal illness.


You, sir, have just won the internet.


I like that second one.


Come on, Wizards, do your magic! For the great cause - science!

EDIT: wow, this is something. I haven't received so much downvotes since I created my reddit account. It feels empowering! I embrace it! It's like I really fucked up something in real life that my karma got so wrong that it alters to my reddit account? It's amazing!


Hear that kids? Manufacture drugs, you'll get rich


you're right.
Sorry, [here's some eye bleach](http://img.ifcdn.com/images/f584ce9d60234c26ea0ebe7515e61a024b7a8c80fdec4eae901995491c96af9f_1.gif)


Just because one ride is down the amusement park shouldn't close.


I do, I just prefer my jokes to have some basis in fact. No point in having a joke that makes no sense.


Tears of pure herbal tea.


lol whatever you say, pedoboy


For some reason, I expect that from Tom Hanks.


Ok you earned an upvote for that awesome comeback. Oh dear lord that made me laugh so much. Thank you.


And their names were "Fox News" and "MSNBC".


Ran out of space to make that clear in the title but I figured...

>Everton Two, Liverpool One

...might be a bit of a clue.


The irony in this is that the op who is disappointed in jersey shores name is swag daddy finch


Calm down, only because it happened to your team. Otherwise, you'd be indifferent.


>I once walked your path.

>Rocks will bruise your soles for now,

>Crutches will support.


The worst bit about this is you obviously didn't feel like explaining that the mailman is a normal human being with a house and gets mail just like everyone else.


I think it would go something like:

1. Big debate over work.

2. Yelling.

3. The gang all agreeing that they are definitely not going to do any work any more.

4. Title card: "The Gang Goes to Work"


Do I smell a new meme cooking up?


I think she has half a brain.


>  or has early-onset Alzheimer’s.

God forbid someone disagrees with the reddit hivemind. They must have a mental disorder. Maybe the mother and everybody here are the ones overreacting.


Or tell her... None of your Bismuth ma'am


Don't be such a

*sunglasses*

Grammar Nazi


Every body Knows that dad dicks are huge.


I know, right? We whiteys have had it real tough. I mean, we lost our slaves and now we're being ridiculed for not being able to dance. It's enough to make you cry.


Ever heard a boston girl have an orgasm? Oh gawd! Harda! Pepperidge farm!


Eh, over there meth is seen as weed is seen in the states. It's seen as kind of a lax drug that isn't really a big deal, but weed is seen as making you lazy and non able to participate in society so it's really frowned upon over there.
Source: have a buddy who is from Ireland, and he has a brother who is a meth addict


I would rather kill myself, thanks.


Interesting how everyone who has commented on your post has been downvoted into eternity. I wonder what group of internet goons got sent to this post to stifle any ideas opposed to their own stunted way of thinking?


How do you know she's a lesbian?


No, you'll find in fact that these are the exact opposite of a meteorite...you consume this type of rock and get blasted outwards from the earth...it's called "getting high"


My husband still brags about the time he farted and I ended up puking because of it.


Don't like what a woman says? Hit her.


I respect your journalistic integrity.


Are you serious?  Are you a woman or just gay?


Let me see if I understand: she thought she could get away with nobody understanding Tagalog *in the Bay Area*?

That's pretty silly of her.


And you'll always be wrong ;)


Yeah, you won't notice the alarm when there's a fire, either.


Watch out, the "traditional" mob will crucify you for criticizing any poor line drawings here.


lol, im not stumped YET.


Your mother feels posts in the wrong sub.


I used to live near someone with a cat and a dog. He'd take the dog out on a walk, and the cat would go too, except he'd act like he wasn't following them. He'd hang back 20 or 30 feet like a teenager at the mall with his mom.


Sharing something happy with people. Try it some time. I'm over the moon and yes the surgeons did a bloody amazing job but like I've explained before (to others with this very original comment) they can only do so much, the rest is up to the patient


Sorry to hear. I lost my father to Candy Crush.


They have been strong as fuck on security.  are you kidding me?  stop using the same abc1234 password for freaking everything.  security on their end is tight.  security on your(everyone complaining about security issues) end (user related) is bullmess.


Ah, yes, the Conservation of Pussy Law. That one's pretty tight (zing!).


*Sigh* The Destiny Fags will never listen.


Day 7: Stranger day today.  Redditors commune with one another in a large, cathartic sharing of private information.  Discussion marked by a general sense of acceptance and lack of judgement; Redditors even seem more likely to approve a strange confession.  What drives them to reveal their deepest thoughts to one another?  How do they forge such trust?

Water low, food adequate.


she is 6 and has an iphone, wtf? do you want your children to be spoiled brats?


You should have yelled back, "Ya? Well we still remember Pearl Harbor!"


I thought it was cute, but I didn't "Awwww".

Seems kinda mean saying I don't have a soul :(

Can't we all just get along ;)


Holy shit man. Sounds like he's still alive just to be a dickhole.


You could just, I don't know, not be a dick, and try to park somewhere not in front of his house. Your van is creepy as fuck, and I'd be uncomfortable with it randomly in front of my house too.


The EZ stands for easy.  ;) ;) ;)


You mean the one posted 2 spots ABOVE your comment?


Some men just want to watch the world burn.


read some of the comments on here on about how it ISNT about that, and maybe ull get it


Brandon: "Absolute zero."


E: after seeing the patriarchy comment I take this back.


No offence, I bet you're a beautiful human being, but if I saw you I would light you on fire.


Dammit, you beat me to it!


I think if you come on the show, and you demonstrate to them that you want to - you've thought about them, you want to be another member of the cast - and get along with everyone and try to do a funny show, they're very keen on having you come back. Which is what I try to do. I just try to make it like I'm one of them.


Muslims dont have intelligent conversation. You either follow their way of thinking or get your head cut off you filthy infidel.


I actually do this weird thing where I intentionally park far away (even if there are closer spots) just to condition myself to be more patient


Dammit I was going to comment that


So what you're saying is, you want me to go to the mall....today?


It's people like you who give the internet great lulz


Like a... Swiss Army knife.


I don't know who you are, but I am now going to down vote everyone of your comments.


Why did you delete YOUR account?  You realize you can remove people from your news feed, right?  Like, there's no way for people to put shit there without your permission.


Which part sounds like it's hurting anyone or anything? Seriously, what exactly happens in the real world should it continue?


Not enough people died.


You should read my premise closer.


I was turned on until you explained it.


*insert forever alone face here*


where did the last 20 minutes just go?


It's easy to write off different viewpoints as evil. You really shouldn't villify.


Yeah, that's what the other guy said!


I know right? Its almost as if they want to force their world view on a minority or something, id say thats transphobia but then id get cissplained by a bunch of men how im oversensitive and i should just get over it.


You sir, have made me smile awkwardly at a stranger in Starbucks while enjoying this joke. Thank you.


I hate to break it to you but nobody gives a fuck.


Yeah, I think I found your problem.


What does this have to do with France?


And the homeless guy got arrested for exposing himself in-front of children, beaten in jail for being a pervert, and committed suicide in a federal penitentiary three years later. A good day indeed.


oh look, an SRS false flagger here to derail my line of thought with his lies and propaganda. Go back to SRS.


Thank you for subscribing to Debbie Downer Facts!


Submitter here. I should have said "attempting". Does that make it any better though?

Also, he gets knocked off his bike by a protester, if he hadn't people would certainly be under his tires.


AND he probably fucked all his belongings in his pocket in selflessly jumping in without hesitation.


WTF is a "transfemminist"? Other than being some form of homo and seriously messed up in the head, I mean...


Correct answer: a state of decay


Sort -> top douche -> all time -> buckygrad Yep, didn't miss a thing.


Thw feeling  of sleeping  all day. But knowing its been several months. I was asked how long i thought i was out for, from family when i woke up. I guessed it must have been tops 1 day. Once they told me i didnt believe them.


shut the fuck up you smug fucking piece of shit.

if i could convince you to shoot yourself I would in an instant! fuck you you fucking insensitive prick.


I get a lot of energy from the audience. 15 shows a week is a lot, though. On the plus side, it allows for an amazing creative process. We constantly try out new material and new illusions in performances, and very quickly we find out what works and what doesn't.


catcalling and blowing kisses is not and should not be illegal.


As an opthamologist, that looks good to me.


lol downvoted by the dog mobs.

They will never learn.


>opportunity to say "nickel"

Too late for ... change.


Not that I like to pick on people, but when people pretend like they want to have a debate when they are really just trolling with an agenda, I find it more productive to mock them than to engage in a serious conversation.


The homeless guy took it


LOL THE TITLE OF THE POST WAS VAGUE AND YOU WENT AND FLIPPED THE MEANING YOU ARE SO FUCKING ORIGINAL!!


That... Actually makes a lot of sense


Actually, at this point those comments on facebook have a bunch of likes. (including the guy i'm making fun of)


Hate to break this to you but it sounds like you're the subject of a secretly gay rumor.


Why do you feel the need to white night a girl on the internet?


I'm happy to hear Bautista is in anything after hearing about how he reacted to his Guardians role.  Dude was so honored and happy to get the role he broke down into tears and immediately started taking acting lessons, just seems like an alright dude.


Shut up about breathing oxygen i like to breathe but i hate it when i breathe oxygen do you know ho hard it is to find are that isn't tainted with oxygen.


This is absolutely fantastic in every way.


I know right?!?! but god, David Luiz is a [saint](https://twitter.com/amadoit/status/575757854801428480)

Edit: downvoted for posting video evidence, having a differing opinion, being a chelsea fan or sarcasm?... I can't tell.


how do you piss off a white person?

move in next door.


I don't think you are grasping my concept at all. We are humans first. The fact is some people tip 20% and some don't... A lot of black people tip the right amount or extra.. But for their sake let's just say all black people are poor tippers.

A joke is meant to rip on people.. You are now turning it from a joke to claiming it is fact.

------

Is this a joke or is this a fact to you.


Flush and move on. Flush and move on...


r/punchablenutsacks

It's only got you in it you gay bitch, don't call me fat, I fuckin hate fat people, have you not looked at the top of the page dumbass? Would I be here If I was fat? Retard.

Edit: my bad I thought you were the other guy, but I'd still punch your balls out


The wedding ring covers up the "R".


Very funny.  He does drive.  I actually brought up this comparison with him and he said "you need to drive, you don't need to have sex".  It makes sense.


416x930. Not sure about the backstory.


I'm sure he has sometime in his life either way. Most of the world has.


Crawl so far mu'fuckas try and find me


damn you beat me to it xD


I hear things along he lines of he was only immortal if he had stayed there forever after drinking from the holy grail


wow im totally convinced that a skill point indicator wouldn't be a solid addition to the game of dota now, thanks pal


So they were having a good time, but not your definition of a good time. You sound like a bit of an ass.


12 is a number as well


Removes glasses "looks like you just became history".


He gets poisoned.  By Littlefinger. But Tyrion gets blamed.  Also, Lysa Arryn posioned her husband at Littlefinger's bidding.  Spoiler Alert. Whoops.


This, or wondering where the hell my cell phone is while I'm talking to someone on it.


uh..if he was unfit to drive, isn't that just perpetuating the system?


Your username is misleading.


No, but thanks for the flattery... lol I am just someone tired of the BS


On sarah palins website she list Giffords as a "problem" and asks her supports to "prescribe us the solution"

http://www.takebackthe20.com/candidates

Edit: [here is the map](http://i.imgur.com/eDr2J.png) with the cross hairs thanks [Gravity13](http://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/eyjr9/democratic_congresswoman_gabrielle_giffords_and_5/#c1bxwe3)


I explicitly came in here to Up vote anything that had to do with Japan. Thank you sir.


C'mon. Everybody loved the inquisition.


Coming from such a an intellectual such as yourself, I accept your kind words with utmost reverence.


Flames...on the sides of my face!


Yes, but the U.S. is also where some of the dumbest, most gullible people live and believe bullshit - and then scream about it, where it gets reported as news.


I heard Sylvia Plath tried one of those


This sounds like sour grapes.


On hold. Canceled.

...

:(


It's so obvious the EU and the US are to blame!