Transformers 4. Said to struggle financially, but beautiful house, all the boots, top internet, no issues buying makeup etc... Movies are as guilty as tv shows sometimes.


Remember there is a lot more we don't know about biology than we do know. There is a very high probability that the kids are yours and you're just an idiot/asshole.


"Here, Dad. Share this burden."


Words can't express how happy I am that these guys formed this comedy group. If they hadn't, we'd have 5 insane people walking around and we wouldn't know who they were.


As a Brit we love seeing our kids playing nicely together.


Seriously, it's days like today that makes shit like this even worse...


ERROR: DIVIDE BY 0


That's kind of what I just said.

I just find it funny when redditors go on the internet to label someone as having a punchable face. Like your "tough" ass is going to do anything from behind that keyboard.


Science is a religion.

Edit: Einstein Damn! I didn't think my bad joke would be taken so seriously.

You'd think people defend science like a religion with downvotes...


In college my roommate and I once fucked a pair of girls at the same time. I was in a lofted bed across from his bed: we reached across the gap to pound it but it was too far, so we ended up touching fingers like God and Adam at the Sistine Chapel.


Why are people upvoting this?  Things like this can't be rationally justified just because someone hurt you first--didn't we all learn this in grade school?

You are undeniably a pretty terrible human being--just so you know.


This is it. Of all the posts in this thread, this is the one that blew my mind.

EDIT: Apparently he played fat bastard too?!


i cant figure out why this isnt the top comment pure brilliance my friend

edit really downvotes really

edit2 downvotes really downvotes how unoriginal


Thanks, that mean a lot! :)


I think I saved his bacon on that one. I think he was like -5 before I said anything, and now he's in the plus. My work here is done!


This is just an idiotic suggestion. Why would you buy a turkey skull when you can have 6 more raccoon penises?


Eh, I really don't care.  This happens all the time, why is she so special?


Yeah, at least I could come up with a decent explanation.

'Come meet me over by the Statue of Liberty on Tuesday at 10 in the morning.'

'Won't there be people there?'

'Yeah, except that it's the middle of March. Very few tourists at this time of year, lets you see all the spots with little hassle. Great for CIA meetings, surprisingly.'


Right?! How can wifi be real if the internet isn't real?


Good sir, I am a lady living in South Boston. If a 6'6'' guy asked me if I needed anything, I would swoon and say "Yes."


blah blah fuck the rich. Instead of sitting around on reddit people should actually consider learning valuable skills like programming and creating businesses. Plenty of people are doing it. Stop being envious, its babyish.


Mailbox don't give a fuck.


Shut up butthurt rape victim


I was praying everyday that I would survive.


I just got there I made this post for the eden run


"**WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO COUNT?!**"


I'm commenting only because I want to save this gif later :)


I think we should legalize marijuana in this country. Just so potheads have nothing to talk about ever again

-Daniel Tosh


1 downvote = 1 actual doctor helping Kaori survive.

Be the change. My comment karma can die, but KAORI SHALL LIVE!


Actually kind of annoying. For whatever reason, the shots of me have Alexis' desktop in the background. The main reason this is annoying is at the time I was *extremely* vigilant about desktop clutter.


Ha!! He's implying that your girlfriend resembles a small child.


DVD is different than streaming because we can pretty much buy all the DVDs in bulk and mail them. Don't have the same licensing limitations.


Don't care about fake Internet points. The circlejerk for interstellar is very strong in reddit.

Interstellar will be viewed in the same overrated light as Gravity in two years.


It's not a comedy until the reveal where he *didn't* drive to the club all that well. Then it's hilarious.


Farrell is more top notch than he may come across. Have you seen him in New World? His off-screen advice to his young co-star in that film was, "Remember: you're only an actor. Don't take yourself so seriously."

After New World and In Bruges, I became a fan of Farrell.


Seriously I need a stalker like that. I'm broke as fuck.


get off reddit and fix the fair few issues that are causing the community to doubt you lot?


Still a really enjoyable movie.


Pointing out a self demonstrating fact is hardly being mad, bro.


This is why you wrap it all the way around the head, taping the duct tape to the duct tape, not to the persons skin. Just make sure it's tight.

Or so I've heard....


One of them had 37 childern D*:


"Hello mother."

"I know you put water in my apple juice."

"I do not appreciate your concern on my health, mother."

"Give me the apple juice...raw."


Ok, in that case im willing to unban you. Provided you apologize for calling me a bitch on irc, and for the record thats why i banned you on the irc. It violates our safe space policy.


So he works in government?

Edit: Punctuation is hard when you're on only a few hours of sleep.


Haha you got downvoted for suggesting that it might be a wifi password, that is so dumb. I got your back though and put you back to one!


The title clearly says contribution, not curse.


>queue

Que is not an english word. Not that fucking hard.


30 seconds?  Hey, everybody, look at Mr. Endurance over here!


You're awful and should feel awful. Come at me downvote brigade.


TIL there's a very racist term for ding dong ditching


who are you to say who is right and just? surely you must be a ~~jew~~ feminist sympathizer


darude sam storm steele


All aboard the downboat! Me too.


I don't think I'd even tell my sister if I saw that.  I'd pour bleach in my eyes and get drunk enough to forget.  No way I'm sending my mom an email with www.youporn.com/HotYoungCoedGetsNailed in the subject line.


But you don't care about his extended family?

Go fuck yourself.


Greetings, Superhero. You are probably wondering where you are. Allow me to explain the location of my secret base to which I brought you to, and spend the next ten minutes telling you my master plan while you have some time to think of an escape plan.


Why would you be pissed just reading this story? OP is a low level wage slave; what difference should it be to him/her whether 'it' is helping a frustrated customer that has mistaken assumptions on how things work or stocking shelves, or even cleaning the floor


freud would have a field day with this shit


downvoted, he's not a rock-musician


Goal is 100 metric tons of useful payload to the surface of Mars. This obviously requires a very big spaceship and booster system.


i think the correct answer is that you, sir, are le fag
edit: lol downvotes? i guess reddit is as gay as everyone at digg says it is.


do you call your penis toothless?


me too. he could definitely not fit falcao's shoes. chicharito is such a one-trick pony


Are you an anime character?


*when i click into this thread, I will immediately walk into a pun about his fire extinguisher incident at the top, and then I will comment on it to validate my assumptions, and will get a pretty even balance of upvotes and downvotes, and then I will go to sleep this very night and feel I'll wake up wittier than I did the previous morning, and then I might eat some ego lego waffles*


I hate this guy and every time he sees me in passing he'll yell "hey man whatsup?" And I'll say "fuck you Josh, you piece of shit" and he'll just laugh and keep going.

Edit: loving the support for how much of a cock Josh is


Yea thanks man but it is a picture I was not asking for advice. I never touched it that would not be beneficial to anyone. Again it is just a picture of a baby dear that I saw in the woods behind my house.


This is true. He smells like cappucinos or something cause he uses these lozenges to stop smoking. It's kind of warm and comforting. He also eats a lot of bacon and does woodwork stuff just like Ron Swanson. He's the best.


DAE le justin beeber is grill haha XD

btw i am grill btw

Luvv, Katy t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m

edit: Wow, you guys really are absolutely fucking retarded. You literally don't even understand humor. You upvote this circlejerky image and not my ebin circlejerk comment. Put sewing needles in your buttholes.


> But hey, torturing and killing people on TV? No problem!

I remember watching a clip in the us from 9/11. They were showing video of people jumping to their death from the burning towers. The part they censored? Someone saying "oh, shit" in the foreground.


Uh LOL you must be using the "NRA" version of the definition of "kill" that doesn't include people who commit suicide, black people, arabs, etc.  Guns kill far more people than cars do.


Meanwhile, my college requires me to spend 60$ on a stupid little remote control with "A,B,C and D" on it. So I can use in class to get credit for questions asked to the room. I can't use last years and I won't be able to use it next year. If I can buy a universal remote for 30$ they can make a preprogrammed clicker for less than 60$.

Fuck the Iclicker.


Maybe you should learn what cynicism is before you try using it as an insult.

Fanboys don't even care that the guy doesn't even know the words he's using.


You sound like you hung out with the fucking guy


Seriously?

You're "depressed" because of a story? Oh, Reddit.


Yep. Sounds like Joe Biden.


I drove high a lot, and never had any issues at all.


She was cutting your hair, I'm sure she could feel the rest of your body moving.  Dude, she knew.


This isn't related but I think this post will get a lot of up votes and reach the front page.

I'm just gonna park my comment here and relish in the karma.


Or because the erection fairy paid a surprise visit.


I used to Capitalize All The Words, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Pro-tip: Don't do that.


He deserved it ... it was a total scam last year to give it to Ronaldo, this year Ronaldo is the fair winner


I wouldn't worry about it.


yes, from a hearer too. (thats what we call non deafs)


The hidden message is that violence is the solution, so long as you're only killing people you have designated as evil.


Observing that they *hate* women and perceive them as a special interest group who demand special rights isn't bizarre.  It's just a fact.


Ah, you're looking for christiansingles.com


I used to tell jokes, then I took an arrow to the knee.


Or: It says insufficient years, you try 3 years, then 2, then 1 and get the same response each time.  You think for a moment, and then it dawns on you.  You don't have any years left.  This is your last one.  You have no time to sell.  It feels like you can't breathe, and you can imagine an hourglass with sand slowly trickling down, down, down as if your life is slipping through your fingers.


So, an eye for an eye, eh? That's not the world I want to live in.


THIS GUY. THIS IS A FUNNY GUY.


Wow you're cool because you found it on BBC, faggot.


I swear to god I can *smell* this comment.


That's what I have to imagine, but the more I watch the show it angers me. The writing and character development is superb, it would totally have done well without the nips. Seems degrading to the women.


Remember that streaker at Karen 's wedding? His dong was so beautiful.

Um... No

Yeah me either.


this is not cringeworthy and I think it's weird that people post shit like this online for something as simple as that. lying about whether she was driving or not... who fucking cares. what IS cringeworthy is you doing this. sometimes there's some gold on this subreddit, but most of the time it's pretty pathetic on OPs part.


They always give you that death glare like, "YOU BEST NOT BE BREAKIN THE LAW CITIZEN. I AM THE LAW"


Not being "ready" for a child is no excuse to kill it.


it's pretty accurate. Thanks to heavily propaganda. People trust to russian TV for some reason and will trust anything they hear from TV. That's why Putin took under control all TV channels. People don't have choice as they receive one side of information only.


American show, call it the trunk ffs.

Also he's probably hidden quitee a bit more than that.

Edit for the downvoters:

American sha, call it the bleedin' trunk.

Also 'e's prolly 'idden quite a bit more than that.


I don't even want to fight a duck sized duck. Those bitches be mean.


Probably will take a break in the not-too-distant future. Shit's frustrating when you're getting aggressively trolled and blindly downvoted and there's a lot of different other writing I could be doing.

Thanks for the message.


I can confirm this. I'm a horse shit inspector.


lots of gays have it. they unhinge to accept the d.


>Tell your boss to fuck off

GOOD PLAN FELLOW REDDITOR


No one but a creep would have a moustache.


>until the 80s when the US blew its load and started seeing China.

POW! Right in the Kissinger!


Go back in time. The world is your oyster and you can do whatever you want!!

>"I'd stick legos up my arsehole"

Edit: Darn it Reddit. *This* is now my top comment?!


Jerry Seinfeld, Superman fan, Jewish.

Jon Stewart, Superman fan, Jewish.

Superman, created by Jews.

/r/conspiracy

Seriously though, as a geek, love the reference.


No copy editors in 2065 apparently.


Didn't hear you guys complaining when it was /r/RodgersCirclejerk a few months ago.

Can we talk about how you guys choked in the NFC championship game then?


&#3232;_&#3232;

Now that's out of the way, I saw the video like everyone else and I'm anal enough to have to actually figure it out.

Sadly, I'm not smart enough to do the math, but the formulas are all in the docs I linked.


Oddly my original comment didn't get added. Yes, I think it's shopped but it doesn't make it any less awesome :)


was he still wearing them?


Coz someone at Valve chose the 'default' to be at strength, what's the matter?


And the city's coat of arms will be a trumpet to celebrate his greatest love.


You're correct, not all that impressive. Not impressive enough to win a nobel prize :)


Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


Photoshop some cops in the background.


WHY YOU NO DOCTOR YET, BABY?


jealous of what? he's way more decorated and successful than ozil


bullets are dumb, they see another bullet and think... "OH SHIT IM GETTING SHOT AT" then they slow down


maybe if you weren't just a lurker you would understand the backlash of comments from reddit.


So DeAngalo created Eminem.


HI WEDDIT I BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOMMYY WHY DON I HAS DA MUSTASHE????????????? I WANA PWAY WIT DA MUSTASHE GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I read it as John Madden.

no thank you


Oh god the Karma destruction.


Here's the thing. We hand out and collect the two tests separately. It should have been obvious to him right away that the guy sitting next to him had a completely different test. The tests don't even look the same. His level of obliviousness was so high, I doubt even just telling him would have sunk in.


Good, you were abusing glitches.


Work from home, checking in. No pants and no bra are what keep me from taking the position upgrade that would make me have to work in the office.

Edit: apparently no pants/bra equals send me your dick pics.


I hope his grandmother dies of a heart attack


I feel like Reddit is very hostile towards the "1%" But I dont share the same elitist views of other rich folks so I feel if you guys got to know me, you'd like me :)


He's calling other's gullible, but he's the one falling for government bullshit and propaganda


But correlation does not mean causation. Just because there is evidence to back up your "deeper meanings" does not mean the creator put it there on purpose. That's what I hated about English class. It always seemed like we were analyzing things that the author did not add on purpose but rather were discovered by readers.


Wow, cancel my post below, there really are duuuumb people in this world. Please delete your posts; I wish to forget that dumb people like you exist.


*still gets rejected*


murdering them wasn't enough for you....


This seems like an American thing, people go hunting for any sign of racism. Which to me is almost racism in itself.

I remember there was a college? football coach who said something like black football players usually have a very athletic body structure and are naturally gifted athletically...and he lost his job/forced to resign.


That's why he got elected!  To prop up the banks, force insurance companies into bankruptcy and to kill women and children in foreign lands.  And he is performing admirably.


A sad kid

Edit:  officially my top comment ever. Thank you reddit. And now I will go to the science museum with my restored love for all dinosaurs, that were dug out of the ground, and could not be more real. :)


Very true, and the lack of news coverage is more frustrating than the actual event. The constant veiling of crimes like this is just proof of the deteriorating liability of news networks today.


/r/relationships is full of people that don't understand.


F that song. It's not 1993 anymore, the last thing I need on my drive to work in the morning is hearing Billy Corgan being a whiny bastard.

Edit: This might be my best comment yet and I'm proud of it. I restate, BULLET WITH BUTTERFLY WINGS IS WHINEY SUBURBAN GRUNGE FOR 13 YEAR OLDS. I don't hate Billy Corgan or the pumpkins, I just hate that song.


Am I getting paid to do this? Is this how I make my money back?


It does kind-of... You sir are a master of pareidolia.


This feeling is too real.


Exactly my point!  Learn to laugh with death.  Man you guys have no sense of humor.


2008 I had used marijuana for the prior 3 years to deal with a serious paragliding accident.


not how alcoholism works

EDIT - wow, thanks for the gold kind stranger

EDIT - is getting gold really that easy?


I like to call that the "Nancy Grace".


i dont have the money for another new controller and it should work perfectly out of the box so simply saying just buy another is not a good answer it would be like if you bought a $5000 tv and only half of it worked and you took it back to best buy only to have the person tell you to just buy a new one


God. That is just classic her.


jwaterworth was never banned. He left on his own accord in disagreement with the rules and policies of the channel.


It's Halloween today? That is really good timing.


I see what you did here


Fuck.  It didn't occur to me that this just could have been the first time I heard her tell the story and not the first time she's told it.


Shut the fuck up and never post again. She doesn't deserve to be hit just because she was annoying. Down fucking vote.


In other breaking news, the sky is blue


obviously the kid getting shit on by shredded paper


As an American, I can confirm the validity of this statement.


it doesnt matter when you find a genre, what matters is that you seek knowledge of said genre. this is basic third wave knowledge that everybody who is a fan of third wave should know. seeing how this a thread about third wave, I really shouldnt have to point out basic information to you people.


That kid looked well behaved to me.  Appearances can be deceiving I guess.


I must say, it's funny to get so many downvotes. Here I'm saying that essentially men are counter-productive to human progress based on historical evidence, yet people feel the need to say "No, the nature of men is awesome!" Maybe this sub is just a bunch of jaded men? I don't know. I'm still calling a spade a spade.


If I saw somebody carrying this IRL my first thought would be "How high am I right now?"


It clearly comes detached.


Disbelief lol which makes it fun to talk about


This feels like a targeted attack on Huppenthal, kap77 clearly has an agenda here.


Then you sir, are a good-looking bastard.


Really? People laugh at each other all the time and its nothing negative by itself. I get laughed at for karaoke and dancing all the time and i don't get butthurt over it.


How much of a cunt to you have to be to think that doing shit like that to other peoples property is acceptable.


In a normal subreddit, yes.  But for the LPT subreddit, not much much given how top posts often have been lame attempts to be smartasses to LPT posts that may or may not be good content (I like this particular LPT post a lot).

But I'm a minority opinion, and I'm getting the avalanche of downvotes from the mob mentality, so the point is all moot anyway.


Or tasting like a dead fish


The more you perpetuate this NSFW nonsense, the worse it gets. If you hide normal images in your work, you are just making it harder for the guy who follows you to look at normal images.

Grow a pair and stop making the lives of others difficult.


My mind is telling me no...

But my body. My body is telling me YEEAYYEAASSS


I think you might want to rethink that, it's definitely on the blacker end of the moral gray area regardless of scenario.


when you get just the right stream and stand at just the right angle, no-hander feels badass


Please, remove "Aw, snap" phrase. It's unprofessional. I hate it when people said "snap". Makes me want to punch them.


Wholeheartedly.  That's a scary thought.  Makes me thankful


It explains itself right there!


Please don't post comparison comics. It's against the rules.


Relevant xkcd: http://xkcd.com/799/


They called the air unit because he fled the police. He might have had drugs, a weapon, warrants, have committed another more serious crime, etc.

Don't run from the pigs.


It's nice to know that congress can fuck themselves on occasion.


Like praying that you stop being such a hateful and spiteful prick?  I concur.


To be fair he typed it one handed with the video on repeat.


Doesn't seem to be working. Then again, I *am* using Internet Explorer.


Of course that's a thing.


flying spaghetti monster too?


I read that as "...father in law is a vegetarian..."
I was a little confused.


upvote cause i feel bad for ya


>didn't plan ahead

>family of 12

Are you sensing a pattern?


Ah, anti-woman propaganda. The right-wing mens rights movement is dispicable.


Really? My first instinct was to stick my duck in it.


Our media is flooded with positive female role models.


The comment is coming from inside the house.


I'm 15.  She's not even really that attractive, I was just making a point.  She's probably attractive to the general public.


The same with elevators.


I just reported you... Why would you dishonor reddit like that?
EDIT: hmmm (NOT-seriously)


My only problem with LOTR.

"What business do an elf, a man, and a dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly."

"We track a party of Urukai westward across the plain. They've  ^taken ^two ^of ^our ^friends ^captive."

"They did what?"

"^They've ^taken ^two ^of ^our ^friends ^captive."

"SAY WORDS! DON'T JUST MOVE YOUR LIPS!"


I havent bought a game in years, thx for the tip too, searching on demoinoid now haha

Found it Razor1911 haha suckers!! fuck yoyu videogame publisers who charge too much, now i can use the money toi buy for alchahol


How about perfectly smooth armpits on ladies in the medieval period?


**F**irst, I would like to present the evidence that her shorts seem to be bulging on the outside indicating that her legs **a**re actually tucked underneath her knees.  Second, people who are legitimately disabled 99.999% of the time are **g**enerally ugly, and she's pretty hot.


This would surely result in immediate, accidental, self-dismemberment.


But the joke was making fun of Cyrillic too. Did you seriously not get it? Why do you think all the letters were capitalized?  -.-


The invention of the universal remote changed everything.


gee, how do you get so many upvotes for being a b**ch? think about that one while you spend your sad existence alone as pewds and his army live it up......

listen, I'll be honest. u are a nice kid, but u need to learn some respect. before someone teaches u some fr**king respect..... you got it?

peace.


Like he'd give a shit about your rocks. Dude tanked a meteorite to the face.


I wouldn't call anything I just saw "sex".


DO YOU WANNA BUILD A DANISH


Omg you have a gf? Wow how fascinating? Please tell us more!


I'm sure your mom hears that a lot.


I don't live in the West. I made hijra ages ago.


I think that's exactly what the terrorists want, a full out war, muslims vs everyone else. I bet they're elated, seeing stuff like this happen.


Not really. 'Long time' is a subjective term, and completely relative to constantly developing technology. I am neither disappointed nor impressed, as any other opinion would be dismissive of recognizing scientific progress.


Hello? 911? Yes I'd like to report my neighbor, they made a very clever mousetrap! Please come arrest them!


Why is everyone downvoting this guy? that might be a good play in bronze 5


**MEEEOWTH!** *That's right!!*


The store ought to take the product away from them both, since it's technically store property until it is purchased by a customer.


If one existed then they would definitely be in jail.

Obligatory Edit: Thanks for my first gold, stranger. You made my day!


You mean the car with all the mechanical innards designed by Audi? Suspension, steering, engineering, all done by Audi. Lamborghini is a design house now. It's a pretty thing, for sure, but it's not a Lamborghini anymore. The Murcielago SV was the last true Lambo.


It'd be near dead if brawl and smash 4 didn't fucking suck horribly for tournies

Edit: LMAO. People are so in denial.


I certainly acknowledge the existence of priviledge, but I hate it when people use it as a way to invalidate one's opinion. I may be priviledged but I'm allowed to have opinions related to race, gender, class, etc.


Too bad that movie sucked donkey testicles


Not to mention the scholarships that would come your way when you are 12 years old applying to MIT and even if you do not have scholarships, your future knowledge would make you rich enough to afford any school you could get into.


you're a fucking loser getting beat up by a woman tho cheer up, now you can date guys like the fag that you are :)


And we would call it The Orphan-Win-Free Show


NASA spent $500,000 working on the concept of a space elevator, I don't think NASA is the intellectual powerhouse it was when it invented moon travel.


Shooting at things that are not white?


Don't listen to what anybody might say, mood music is appropriate if you get pleasure from having boners in your mouth. Again, don't listen to anybody else. Internet comments are law.


The letters those numbers represent spell COCK. It's a cock joke friend.


Flavors go into the Flavor Graveyard if they don't sell enough. If people aren't buying enough of a particular flavor, they go to an early grave sometimes. And it's funny because my particular favorite flavor happens to be in the graveyard. Ben's too!


Just thought I'd come reply and ruin shit.


Correct. Post removed for cissexism.


I died.

This comment has killed me and now I'm dead.


Yes we all are good generalization mate ^^^^^^^^/s


"It's got a nice beat, and you can dance to it."


This comment reminded me of my first post on reddit. [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/czssa/does_anyone_else_feel_good_finding_small_typos/) good memories :)


Like [this?](http://i.imgur.com/hltzS26.jpg)


I want to set a record for most downvotes.  downvote the shit out of me please


The next time it happens, you should stare at the wig on the ground and frantically start patting your head like all your hair made a combined effort to leap off of your head.


DA NEEL ARMSTRONG USED TO BE ALIVE BUT DEN HE TOOK A ARROW TO DA KNEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I don't want to say this, but is in Springfield. It is called Moe's.


you're too good for this my friend.


I'm... I'm not even sure who I feel more sorry for in this situation.


It was not a silhouette to begin with, if you look closely.

Also, holy shit that woman is ugly.

Edit - she was ugly as fuck, but the picture was later edited to be photogenic guy.


They couldn't pay me to take a tour of Detroit.


That's cute. Any facts to back it up?


That is almost too ironic to be real.


Yeah, I'm sure she and her producer will be mad all the way to the bank.


Welcome to the internet.  We calculate the miles of suspenders Larry King owns.


All i could think about was how that pilot's last name is Gay lol. That must suck..........


I wonder if people that have an IQ that high think about regular stuff like buttholes and sandwiches and stuff.


How beautiful today is. You put more effort into fighting with me than you did discussing books in r/books. I'd like to thank you for putting that smile on my face and making my points for me.


"Tell that crazy Jolly Rancher story you told me last week!"

Edit: Great now my highest rated comment ever is a reference to the Jolly Rancher story.


As soon as you recommended shuriken of Light I stopped reading. Making it obvious you have no idea what you're talking about is not something to be strived for when writing an informational piece.


What if you search the opposite? Porn child.

Im imagining a 8 year old with leather clothes on, a Hulk Hogan mustache and a cigarette


Behaving immaturely and unsportsmanlike conduct.


I was 16, I was a bit of an arsehole, I didn't realize how small the world can be.


anyone who has to ask how this was done probably wont know what the burn tool is.


Maine is the Alabama of New England.


Mods of this subreddit also didn't ask me if it was okay if they all sucked my dick, but they did and I'm not complaining.


Go get her, ya dingus! Sounds like she's still dropping hints


Most people see SNL live. Jerk.


Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't. I respect that especially. I think I know to whom you refer, certain newscasters (?). When they ask odd questions, it generally means they're asking from their own experience. They have something on their mind(s). I work to respond to that.


Oh no, one **typo**.

Worst English 2012


25k upvotes on /r/rawwr


I find it hard to believe a Redditor has ever ventured in to the real world. It's a place where their self imposed sense of superiority counts for naught and they can't down vote the real world to feel better about themselves. RAGE HARDER!!!!


Why am I not surprised that out of a random battlebots image, not one, but BOTH robot designers/builders are on reddit?


No, we're just tired of rather pointless questions.


When I was really young, the nurse used to always tell me before shots that it would hurt a lot. That grown-ups usually leave crying but she thought I was probably tough enough to handle it.

I'd feel like sharp pinch but be fine and walk away feeling like I was a fucking war hero.


No. Are you a moralfag? because you act like one.


Gets photo with Seth Rogen. Camera is blurry.


Is this the real life?


This is 10X more epic than the truth.


It's okay. One day you'll grow up and have your own thoughts instead of repeating the insults you received just moments ago. Have a nice life kid.


Yep, the 80s were weird...


We have posted about you, come look at our thread [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/rcqal/feud_over_at_rchristianity_over_a_user_submitting/), And expect downvotes!


I have been lurking reddit for a while and I honestly find the community more interesting than other social media sites. Since there seemed to be an interest I thought it would be something I'd like to do.


I think you are the most boring person I've ever come across. Your point is perfectly valid, but you shat it right into the ground.

Edit: Oh wow, note to self: don't go on reddit drunk. I apologise.


This is why kids have trust issues


I used to tell my kid that he had to capture the avatar if he expected me to love him, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


was wc round of 16 lol


Upvoted because I enjoy the discomfort of others.


That is not his father.  He technically has no father.


The Latinos … have mutated.


OP provided link to original post 2 hours ago. Not hard to find since there are currently only a handful of comments. Do you even read the comments first or just post and hope you don't look like an idiot?


That's not very G rated.


Hater hate us cuz they ain't us!


> "Yeah this subreddit has really gone downhill since I joined in 2014"

Coincidence? I don't think so


WTF?  First of all, I am a huge Manson fan.  Both of him and his music.  Have you read the bio?  The guy writes about some seriously crazy shit


Put the sunglass back on that shit wasnt clever or funny


>//15 year tech veteran here so I too know how to make cheese.

I guess after 15 years of googling shit every day you know just about everything.


Reddit (and especially f4u12) is mocked by my hot GF and all of her friends. Rightly so - there are few good subs: /r/weightroom, /r/twighlight and sometimes /r/nfl. The rest are crap. Tired of the "men" of reddit crying like a babies.

Get to the gym like me, learn a trade (mason) like me.

**Stop stupid freaking drawing cut and pasted cartoons and going to "meet-ups."**


The teams seemed a little bit stacked.


It's a shame that the top comment has nothing to do with the actual content. I can see why it's a bit cringe-worthy i guess, but my only intention is to spread important information. Big medias wont do it so *somebody* has to. I was just hoping to provoke some good discussion about it. The cynical vibe is strong on this day though


Huh, apparently he isn't. He sure *sounds* black...


who gives a fuck? if you posted it on 4chan the whole internet has free license to it, deal with it. it's not like you're missing out on anything besides imaginary reddit points


Why do people rub their penises on touchpads in San Francisco?


GIGANTIC PUSSY CREAM-CAKE HANDHOLDING ZONE DETECTED

DEPLOYING INTERNET RAGE DICK


Actually there are 26


I'd like to thank the [Starfleet Academy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_APSczipvo).


You're spending way too much on machetes. Who is your machete guy?


I used to mistake dogs for bears, but then I took an arrow too knee!


Is that where they farm the mentally ill?


I support that girl and her actions.

Those parks are BORING AS FUCK


My wife is a licensed cosmetologist.  Showering 3 times a day is horrible for your skin and hair.

EDIT: My wife, in response to a few requests, has starteded an AmA thread.  This is the link, ask away.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/2rnopy/i_am_a_cosmetologist_i_have_7_years_under_my_belt/?sort=confidence


Her email address: masanya.fly@gmail.com

Her phone number: +1-416-422-1935


I texted her something along the lines of "I thought you weren't coming to the game?". She of course never replied


Did you mean **USA**?


You woulda thought his Spider Senses woulda kicked in before he hit the wall.


Because it doesn't matter if you're *right*. You're not allowed to scream, "WHAT THE FUCK" in a ref's face.


"OK, I'll take the backstreet boys CD, you take britney spears..."


We have had some rockiness, and I too believe our relationship isn't ready for sex right now.  We're young and dumb, haha.  I just don't want to wait years and years.


Sometimes I wish instead of up voting the comment I could go to this persons house (the lady) and put a big orange arrow on her door.


You lead a sad life if you look at Reddit all day to find reposts. Good luck.


Most all TV shows have lower ratings this season.  Also NBC didn't promote us one bit.


meh.. without looking at the captions i didnt recognize any.. and even looking at the captions only some were somewhat good..

obligatory self deprecation so my comment does not get downvoted to shitter: i can not do that better and everything i have ever done is shit.


God liked saturn, so he put a ring on it.


LOL LE RISKY CLICK HAHAHAHA #YOLO


Stick a forklift in it; we're done.


Same thing /r/funny and /r/DIY said.  *And /r/frugal !!!!!

Boobs.


I don't poop. My body's working at 100% efficiency.


It has a link to a virus attached to it...


As a male, thank you for this


Damn, if a CEO told me that shit I woulda been like, 'yessir'. Musta been making bank at that point if a CEO is talking to you.


This man has been waiting 5 years for this moment. I applaud his dedication.


Of course no one wants to talk about the criminals that are on THEIR team.  You down-voting democratic party cock-suckers are so hypocritical it make my blood boil.  FYI - I am NOT a republican.


This is how it starts.


Mitch isn't funny at all. He's just a wannabe Jack Handey right from the start. I hope God loves him and everything and I don't wish bad on him, but he should really retire from making jokes. He just does random joikes like Jack Handey but much worse.


>was so nervous around me that he visibly twitched every time I got within a foot of him.

[Once reddit catches wind of this](http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/web05/2012/1/20/14/anigif_enhanced-buzz-2415-1327086304-23.gif)


If you watch it carefully, the big guy makes a strategic withdrawal after the two black guys start standing up to him.  He realized that the whole shock and awe thing had worn off and it was time to go.

Intimidation only works as long as the other party lets it.

edit: it's obvious that the argument had  got to the point of either fighting or walking, he walked which was a smart move.


Remove your relationship status on facebook.  If anyone asks why you did that, just tell them “What love we’ve given, we’ll have forever. What love we fail to give, will be lost for all eternity.  That is all that matters."  Then tip your fedora and skate away on your Heelys


Fucking amazing for pedophiles. I bet you were imagining the zombies ripping off the clothes of the little girl and raping her and eating her joyously. Yeah, sick fuck.


Ha ha ha, this thread is making me want to date a twin just so I can date someone.

... :(


i dont even know who that is, i dont even know why i clicked it

what im looking at is a cowboyish guy with knee guards, did that enrich my life today?  what did i gain from that exactly?  i dont know anymore, why am i even here.

you people SUCK COCK


I am sure he will be happy with any entry level position.


No Photoshopping going on here.  Just some crazy hybrid shit going on. Nature is a mysterious mistress.


he literally tore himself a new one.


Is that what gave you the boner?


Shoulda gone with stainless steel instead of rare earth magnets on that prince albert bro


That sounds painfully familiar...

\*sighs\*


What restaurant is this I live in Memphis.


Proof or /r/todayibullshitted


Nice try Simon

Edit: Don't let him fool you! He is not trustworthy like he claims!


It's alright, I love that your team won't win a championship this year.

Edit: A lot of bulls fans out today.


This assault...

( •_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

...was a textbook case.


I see what you did there niceeee.


"Get your shit together, America. Kids don't belong in prison."

>kids who kidnapped an 87 year old woman and poured bleach down her throat

"Hang, draw, and quarter those punks like it's 1699."


I would take Robin Williams for 4 more weeks over any Kardashian for 4 more decades.


I think my dick just fell off.

That was awesome.


No one wants to see that disgusting shit. Take your progressive bullshit and shove it up your ass.

Maybe people should start posting pics of their anal cancer.

Right? Since the human body is so wonderful and all.

Fuck off, faggot.

**Edit: I regret nothing.**


"What the fuck his ult did like 3k damage how is that legit" - Leonardo Da Vinci, 1496


I don't. But it's pretty obvious when someone stares, I catch them staring, and they get defensive when I get annoyed.


Zoom has been around for awhile though


Idiom has a meaning too.  You're still being a colossal prick.

Perhaps a comment like, "Do you have a clearer picture?" would have been more in line with your excuse?


Idk, kanye's new album was pretty tight.


It's really sad to see Day9 doing this youtube "personality" shit. There was a time when Day9 was interesting to watch, but at this point he's become a joke.


>Indigenous People's *last* Day.


Do you have Down's Syndrome, or do you just like asking stupid questions?


also a claims adjuster - this statement is correct. tell him to pound sand

^Edit: oh my, what have I done!


He is not responsible for what the mother did.

And since his life is good, you cannot claim he made the wrong choice.


It couldn't handle the environment of upstate New York because there were llamas in it.


It's on netflix.  go watch it.


Am I the only person who just straight up says, "Hey I forgot your name and I don't want to keep acting like I know it, what is it again?"

People rarely even get offended.


I'm a certified Reddit doctor, and I can assure you that it's 100% AIDS blood. I studied it under a microscope in my lab.


I snore. I wipe standing up, in a kind of feral crouch.


My only regret is that I have but one upvote to give.


Meg literally tried to rape a dog though... I don't think she's misunderstood.


Shut the fuck up you lying fag


Shit dude how'd you get TWO?


You're right.  Most girls aren't smart enough to like/get reddit.


With motivational speeches like that I'm amazed the team wasn't doing better.


I'd suck her jinkies. If you know what I mean.


In iceland it's a thing to let babies sleep in the cold, helps their immune system develop or something. So when babies are going for a nap they'll be left in a stroller on the balcony or whatever. Or if you're out at a cafe leave them outside. It's pretty cool.


...Can't tell if troll or stupid.


I literally held my breath as I read through this.


I asked you to submit direct links. You said "okay" and used a URL redirect to point traffic to a page with ads anyway.

I apologize for being the person who got stuck upholding subreddit policy in that instance, but any other moderator would have dealt with you the same way I did.


As a regular sized biologist, it's very scary!


How many of you get fed up with people complaining about obvious karma whoring? Get over it dude.


Or California, Pennsylvania


Ive never seen 3 failed comments in a row.


OP is a funny guy, rip sleep


Well if you're playing the sims you're a kinda huge fool who's already lost at life, so not really.


The one in the middle looks like Dee from it's always sunny


Hello there captain obvious.


*The Dark Knight Rises* ಠ_ಠ


You seriously thought this happened in America? You sir are a idiot.


Did the same.  Girl friend caught me and asked what the hell I was doing, putting that much fabric softner in my laundry.

To which I replied, "What the hell is fabric softner?"


Actually 3 sequels if you count Smash 3DS and Smash Wii U separately ;).


*Frank hides a dead chicken behind his back.*


Would be funnier if the hands were black.


So if he tells her the current password, they break up and she becomes his ex, and the password changes to her name to keep up with the ex rule. Now she would have no reason to be mad because the password is simply her name and they get back together.

The ex girlfriend password paradox.


cool story.  i can see why this has so many upvotes

hint: reddit users are retarded


It's the emptiest victory ever!


I used to read left to right! but then i took an arrow to the knee!


best comment in 2012 so far


Also, the place as "Costa" in it's name. How much more costal do you get than that?


I certainly do know what it tasted like, a muddled, greasy, stringy mess. Sorry that that's your idea of good food. You're probably American, so who can blame your mistaking gluttony for knowledge.


"Happy birthday, Mom!"

"Oh, thank you, sweetie! Thank you so... oh."

"What is it? Don't you like it?"

"It's lovely, dear. A woman can never have too many reposts."

"But... but this isn't a repost! I got all these celebrities to sign cards for you! It's original content!"

"Yes, honey, but the idea isn't. This is why your brother is my favorite."


Look at the title of this AMA.  Just fucking look at it.


Be attractive. Don't be unattractive.


This username is fairly new. Let's see if I can get it into negative comment karma with one comment.


NASA linked Wikipedia! In your face, old high school teachers


Correct me if I'm wrong but wtf are you smoking. What makes them dbags?


* Strength - How many tomatoes you can carry
* Dexterity - How many of those tomatoes you keep from dropping
* Constitution - How far you can carry those tomatoes
* Intelligence - Knowing a tomato is a fruit
* Wisdom - Not putting tomatoes in a fruit salad
* Charisma - Selling someone a fruit salad with tomatoes in it


I have to disagree. He attacked them with a joke and his response was purely disrespectful. It was a cheap shot and he's the one being ignorant.


WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?


"Human Revolution"

get out.


You were under there so long you shit yourself?


* SHE IS FATTER THAN THAT BLACK BITCH AT KFC.
* SHE IS UGLY.
* SHE AIN'T GAT NO ALIBI.
* She has no talent apart from taking up space, eating food and lying down. She cannot talk, she cannot sing, she cannot look human.
* When she stands up, mankind is left in awe at the colossal behemoth before them, letting out wailing noises which cannot be understood by the human ear.


This was my thought.

Like, no shit, how many 9 year olds go to movies by themselves?


Not every redditor will know your little inside joke immediately.

I'm sorry, but without explanation this thread gets a 1/10.

Or is this some kind of "secret" reddit thing again? Like *Narwhals and Bacon*^^TM ...?

Come on redditors, dont make me facepalm! Explain, *now*!!


God Karen, you can't just ask people why they went to jail.


Damn you sir, that was my idea

(ಥ﹏ಥ)
Thanks guys now I'm infamous


You should never cancel interviews or stop looking for work until you've actually signed a letter of offer


You see the Russian writing? Guess.

 [edit](http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/348/8/6/i_ain__t_even_mad_by_terribleprincess-d34w0sy.jpg)


Wise words from Terry Pratchett: the IQ of a crowd is the IQ of its most stupid member divided by the number of people in it.


My favorite band of musclebound men cannot throw objects to other musclebound men in a very large building this year, I am le sad

...

I don't get sports.

Edit: to people reading this thread, it's all retarded shit from here on down, and myself included. Just ignore it.


If every good deed was rewarded with a snickers bar the world would probably be a much better place.


One reason we didn't make changes with the strong Euro is that those countries charge taxes (Value Added Tax of about 20% in EU) on all products. Many US companies pass that cost onto their players, but Riot has always absorbed all or part of it so that pricing would be more equal and transparent to players.


I lack a few things.

1. Being female

2. Having virginity


That announcer should be fired for that. Does he really have to say derogatory comments about this amazing weightlifter? He couldn't lift anywhere near what he does.


I also remember pitching a joke for one of the treehouse of horror episodes where Burns is taking Homer's brains out of his head and puts it on his own with the brain stem hanging down and says "Look at me! I'm Davey Crockett!"  and then laughing at my own joke(which I never do and is not considered good form) for five minutes, falling on the floor and possibly farting.  Embarrassing but true.


Do you feel good about that statement? Did you come back later and feel pride at your 32 upvotes? I mean, if I were you I certainly would. Your insights into American political dysfunction are impressive and clearly beyond those of the common man.


The "who is this" is worse.


Nothing new. Atheists don't pray, but we are human. Many of us happen to reside in RipCity. Much love for Wes. We can't pray for him, but we are thinking of him.


My first reaction was to come here to say "Thank you, Jupiter, for possibly saving our ass yet again."


cause larry bird is soft and couldn't keep up

he's garbage and skinny I bet Lebron would body his pussy ass

waanhhh my back LOL


 Car? *check*

Not Piece of shit? *check*

Yeah man sounds like you're better than most.


^I'm pretty sure that's what it is. Kelly (the mother) never talked about what was wrong online or to anyone too much, but I know it was health problems, not an accident of any sort. I'm pretty sure it's a heart problem, though.


Born too late to explore the world. Born too early to explore the universe.


I think he does look better than the Jonas brother, he's probably not insecure. To me he is right, I think this is just an opinion thing.


He's been playing gay peek-a-boo his whole career . . .


So I should pussyfoot around it?

Blunt != wrong.


That's just how Christopher Walken pronounces it.


Mate you arn't a mod. Shut up and let them do whatever.


The fear is, "what drives them to do good if they don't believe in God?"

Apparently, if these Christians find out there's  no God, they will then proceed to rape and pillage.


Upvoted for being a fellow Ravens fan. Go Ravens, baby.


Actually the last time we saw each other in person, I was sitting in a bar nursing a drink for some reason. He staggered in, sat down next to me and started trying to cadge a drink. He said, "I know you." I finished my drink, said "You should, I'm your son." Walked out and never saw him again.


What about when people say god bless to an atheist when he dies? Christians have been forcing their views down the throats of others for centuries but it's only wrong when an Atheist does it?


i'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume that the prenup was a social event for them.  all i can think of is the couple who counted the damn beanie babies in front of a judge when they got divorced...


like dis if u SHUT THE FUCK UP. NO. RESIST THE URGE.


From what I can tell, it's about Chris Hemsworth punching people.


Your ignorance and down votes don't change a thing. Now slither back under your rock.


Seriously, this comes across as 'I told you so'.  What is your point?

Is it that you are so much smarter than everyone else?

Is it to show the world how stupid and gullible other people here are?

Purpose please?


I'm not going to downvote you, because you're entitled to your opinion, but on behalf of smart girls everywhere... UGHHHHH.

I'd rather grow old and die alone than have to pretend to be dumb just so a guy will like me.


yes, people tend to get mad, when someone confronts their lies.


Don't mention it.

Edit: the part mentioned is nearly at the top of the article. If you are on a non-smart phone device, I'd imagine you could see exactly the part I mentioned without scrolling. The vitriol I've received for this is surprising nonetheless.


And this is also why China is becoming the huge economy that they are. They're doing it by sacrificing their health and environment.

*Edit: And obviously they're dumping poisons into the ground water, air, and ocean, so we're all affected.*

*Edit 2: I can't believe I've gotten so many upvotes just for stating the obvious. :(*


Yeah! How rude of them to look at the photo album you just handed them.

Perhaps you should remove the incriminating shit from your phone, and then it won't matter.


TIL good sense of humor = unfunny boardwalk t-shirt


He's basically only ever made one movie. He just keeps repackaging it again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.


I do countdowns for a lot of things but almost never actually move when I get to 0


I regularly post to that sub :D


"Reddit, I didn't get much love last time I posted (she got 1,400 upvotes), but let's see if these can win you back (pics of her butthole)"


Lol, you people.

EDIT FOR TZAH HATERS:
At least admit it's funny your fighting among yourself with your own characteristics (crazy religiosity, patriotism), about some murdering machine (the military) and you still have the same inane useless nationalism to think you're special.


When you feel like you can't get any attention, even the slightest amount will stir up emotions.


So what if I used a Homer Simpson quote?


Honestly don't understand why people downvote comments like these. It's the first thing that came to my mind. 6 years and he flips like this? That's just bizarre, and worth checking with a doctor. Yeah, get yourself out of the danger zone (Lana! Danger Zone!) but also tell him to get to the hospital.


Sorry for your lose. Women have the equal right to die as men. I can't believe women complain about dieing also. What there is in the world that they don't complain about??


Like some sort of paper fruit roll up for your ass


Fuck u moronic piece of nigga


Norway here. we agree.


no thank you. i said i dont like idiots. also, that doesnt make any sense based on what i just said


If there's no where to change my son I go to the car and change him there. If he cries I take him outside till he stops. I'd rather get up and go outside a hundred times before being "that mom".


Someone's on a high fucking horse.


Reminds me of this other actual 90's commercial by Sprite for "Sun Fizz". Shit got crazy real quick. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjK1aUU2Dx4


it's so easy to figure out. stop smoking for **one goddammed minute** and maybe you could figure it out. this whole thread is just one smack in the face to human intellect. we're better than this people. put the "doobie blunt" down and open your mind for once.


I have not even been awake 5 minutes yet today. BAM micropenis.


Claiming that criticizing the concept and use of "misandry" means "demonizing half your user base" is absolutely absurd of you. Where on earth did you get the idea that half of people here would even agree with you on this?


Syriasly a great flim -critic #3


Are you high right now? That comment made no sense.


This is a good idea, since the bot probably wants to go back to the gold standard anyway.


When do other players of his skill set get the opportunity to be humble and kind? It's because he get's extra attention because he's asian..


ahhh yes, Descartes.  French for "of Cartes".


ERMAHGERD, DERRERNG YERT STERL CHERRFERL MERRCER, HEE DERSERVERS TER BER TERKERN TER THERT SUERP KERTCHERN MERN


I did. Look up. Or are YOU too stoned?


Never heard of him or his wife's unborn child. Why should I give a shit again?


That's a terrible strain on a small business. You sir are a monster.


I mean, take it for what it is.
I didn't come here to prove anything to anyone.


We all know why you didn't say the other thing. &#3232;\_&#3232;


No, no it isn't.  Why don't you go there right now?

r/circlejerk posts are parodies.  This post isn't a parody; it is simply a direct attack on r/atheism and r/politics.  I pity you if you don't see that.


You forgot: fuck each other! Consummation time!


>I posted this on Facebook

>he "styled" his hair because me and my brother

>I have a faux hawk

Fucking loser.


If you are cutting chunks out of My brains, you better beleive I'm going to do my best at getting away- even if it means climbing across a beam I can't smell.


I'd consider banging you if you get implants, but not that saline shit.


you know Reddit respects you when they let that "to" slide.


Fuck you.
Christmas music is sacred to the Christmas season and now I've got that fucking song stuck in my head.
I hate being a purist sometimes.


> for awhile playing Civilization

So 2-3 days?


Lol! I say that same shit to your Mom *all the fucking time*! :D

Tell her I said hello! ;)


Ha ha ha. You think girls poop.


I've never agreed with a comment more than this


We played this game at my highschool, starting out as a joke a month before we graduated. Within a week it was banned. I ended up giving the speech to my graduating class, and had my finger pressed against my ear for the second half of the speech. By the end of the speech, there was a sea of guys with their finger over their ear and a bunch of pissed off staff staring at me


My friend got a hold of some stolen credit cards. We were knee deep in free CD's from BMG. It was awesome.


HE WENT TO DISNEYWORLD FUCKING.


downvotes for truth, go for it reddit! im used to it


i regularly get blind drunk in pubs twice as old as your country.


Will is one of those guys that *you* have to work with, he doesn't work around your shitty comedy.

edit: Didn't know so many people would be butthurt over a joke.


I do the same thing except I put it in her butt. 99% of the time it leads to me sleeping on the couch.


What if i told you that the [PREDATOR IS AN ALIEN](http://static.fjcdn.com/gifs/MIND_8c3946_1574617.gif)?


Removal of water as a human right.
Killing babies in 3rd world countries by incorrectly labeling baby formula/not labeling it in the origin language.
Suggesting that breast milk was bad for babies and their milk was best.
destruction of the rain forest for palm oil and wiping out orangutans.


dude. SHE proposed to HIM. doesn't that say a lot about the relationship already?

to be fair, I am totally ok with that type of thing. just... yeah, it says a lot about where you stand. trust me, I was in a relationship like that.


Until you finally finish the mile with both your feet amputated from the diabetes you got after the first 20 feet.


Oh boy, using a term popularized by bugs bunny.  A known racist.


Not sure if that was sarcasm, either way, have an upvote on me.


Depends on how cute she is


im worried if i lose a serious amount of weight (30-40lbs) i'llend up looking like one of those whores on the front cover of cosmo. i dont want to be some anorexic looking freak

btw im 5'4, 130


I thought it was trying to copy its rider, like "AM I DOING IT RIGHT??? IS THIS HOW I WATER???"


Psyhadellic drugs are seen as dangerous because the more the sheeple open their minds the more dangerous they are viewed in the eyes of established institutions.


We *could* all agree that this is what happened OR we *could* agree that OP's house has GHOSTS!


/r/soccer Anti-American bias is very strong


So what did Gary Ballcock invent?


"...in allowing child-rape acceptable. I don't."

Thats what every child molesters says in public.. who knows how many child sex trips you been on.


If I watch the movie "300" twice, am I watching a new movie called "600"?


What the...? The top comment *isn't* blaming the man and is actually holding the woman accountable? Where am I? Is this actually r/relationships?

Someone get the smelling salts and lead me toward the fainting couch.


You're super reserved and your name is "Anal Tyrant"???


Yeah, not bad for a nigger.


Could you imagine the bartenders talking to each other, "man these guys are really drunk, I'm not giving them anything else to drink". "I know right? I wonder what's up with these girls though, they keep ordering drinks pretending to be drunk as hell."


Poor guy.
You should actually feel sorry for his daughter.
They will be part of the 1% and they will have everything handed down to them. Sound familiar? Oh wait, when it happen to Romney,  reddit hates. Obama's children are going to be 1%'ers and they'll get a free pass just like daddy and mommy.
It must suck to go to Harvard and Princeton.


Dude! Leave my mom out of this, I did nothing to you


Once someone removes their shorts to reveal a second pair of shorts, you're in trouble. That person is an assassin.


"And in local news, a man in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume abducted a third-grader from school today, and has not been seen or heard from since..."


cause people should know that.


...and thousands of Redditors cringe in unison.


~~Oh, in my eyes the ex boyfriend was an idiot too. "I only cheated cuz your a bitch and I was going to dump your ass anyway". He should have dumped her at the spot.~~

Edit: Apparently I commented in the wrong thread. My apologies!


This is the first thing I thought after reading.


Yeah they probably modded your shit! Haha


As a chick, you will have a shameful harem.

"The odds are good...
but the goods are odd"


And her plucky asian/native american transexual indie guitar playing friend


I left all of my comments so please point out where i said that. Oh wait. You can't. Because your a lying rabble rouser.


4/5 would recommend it. But so would 5/5.


I used to work as a video editor so I know what I'm saying when I tell you it wasn't.  We pretty much got told that a rewind into looping would get your shit fucked up six ways from Sunday.  Another editor I know tried getting it into a video and they fired his ass on the spot and I was going to try to defend him, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


*stares out window*

Sure.

What is the difference between Georgian and Edwardian architecture again?


People like you are why we can't have pros posting nice things.


My girlfriend is going to be very very confused tonight.

This is going to be awesome.


Sorry I called you out on your incorrect statement, have an ignorant day.


HE SAID, I USUALLY JUST JIZZ ON MY CHEST AND THEN LEAVE IT THERE.


He didn't notice in first place that it was banned, that's why he kept repeating JinAir can pick it.


Motherfuckin Sherlock Holmes shit, homie.


Well I know that. And as someone else pointed out, half-ass pushups are something that Gaston would actually do. Sooooooooooo......


It's being reported that he is alive. he "suffered multiple gashes" but the golf course he crashed on had a couple doctors playing on it and they rushed over.
But your point is still very valid.


Believable story: I got a girl from tinder to come around for casual sex. She was a lot bigger than in her pics, she said they were old. So I let her know I wasn't interested and she left.

Not he 'let' her over when he was horny and because of a bad angle he paid her to leave. Like is this guy Charlie Sheen?


If you're him, and he's me, I must be you!


Hmm perhaps I am misunderstanding you? Misandry most definitely is not real. If you think it is please.


No. It means I have found someone I *intend* to cheat on you with and want to finish with you first so that I can do it guilt free.


The only rational explanation is that on some level, she enjoyed it.


Büstenhalter is one of the only German words I know, because I had to look it up after my dad tried to convince me the word for bra was 'keepemfrumflappen'.


ASOIAF.

Up

Boat


How could she possibly use less than an ice cubes worth of water to clean an ice cube?


Wow, somebodies trying a little too hard to be funny today...

Let me repeat that once more to make it even more funnier:

and there.... and there.... and there.... and there....

You see, now its 2x as funny!

Is this *really* the level frontpage posts have come down to nowadays..?


...*and that was the 86th time I had sex with your Aunt Robin*


Wow, they charge a lot to teach that stuff huh?  I bet you're a pro now though.

edit: I'm not the one who crashed their car because they were texting buddy.

*You* are now tagged as an ass.


Well not with that attitude.


OP is a shit head faggot this is obviously fake. Downvote this phony he doesn't deserve all the karma he's getting for his photoshopped picture. Teens need to GTFO of reddit, you're turning what was once a great site into a big steaming pile of shit. Use your brains you idiot teenages (even though your brains aren't fully developed yet) and downvote this poser.


My coworker is deaf. We have a very loud fire alarm. Whenever there's a drill and everyone is covering their ears, he will sign or text "Guys, it's really not that loud."

Also, whenever somebody asks him to do something he doesn't want to do, he plugs his fingers into his ears and mouths "LALALALALALA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"


I wanna ride the downvote train! No complaint here.


Uncle Lettuce, you always give the best advice.


Except that nobody found it funny


You also are left with Schrodinger's teacher.  You cannot know if your teacher is brilliant, or simply lost your paper.


Sorry but newspaper snobbery isn't in my interest.


It was incredible! He left everyone dumbfounded.


That's not necessarily how the world works, and get over yourself.


thats what you get for getting banana flavored you faggot


that will lead u to a daedric quest where you can either keep the axe or get this kind of cool helmet


shhh, placebos work really really well


It interests atheists. That's enough for it to be here. Quit your fucking bitching or stop coming.


"Duh."

- everyone who didn't sign up or give them money.


the fuck?! i want 700k - i've never even broken 100k. aren't i more of a charity case than this silly fuck?!


I thought it was hilarious. The most I've ever laughed at Dr. Phil


I used to think that when the red ring of death takes hold it will be more like Hammer industries, and then laugh, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Fuck your sister.  Cut ties with her and move on.


No. Everyone needs to recognize their traits. It's no better to pretend you lack a positive trait than to pretend you lack a negative one.


You see, we went very different ways with such an opportunity.


I don't. Fuck dogs. I wish this one in the picture was dead.


So you deny that you are actually white and actually look like Eddie Murphy when he was in white face?

https://s.yimg.com/os/publish-images/ivy/2013-09-11/3f5798d4-a0ea-4af2-9734-a7bb3dcf49ec_murphy-white-like-me.jpg


Your achievements are older than dirt. Oakland has been crap for a while now. Sure. Live in the past, back when you guys actually mattered. Thanks for the 2 guaranteed wins every year, btw.


Yeah, but then they'd just go around putting their hand out and pinching straws.


Aw hell ya nigga 666 odd future fuck man so. Stoned


...and received some Werther's for his trouble.


Fag
[Edit] Downvotes? Really?


Holy shit bro you're such a hard/bad ass. Tell me more about your life.


"Hey Bob, got any more calls from that laundromat?"
"Yeah, they're lasting longer... thank god."


No excuse for peasantry. It's like bad grammar, it must be punished at all cost.


> tipped me two pennies

See, black people ***do*** tip.


In the Bear Grylls IAmA, he wrote out individual answers to each question, and then later recorded them as videos.


genius, just made my day


My theory is that girls are just more gullible. Wich is great in class where they take the teachers word for truth and copy it on a the test, but makes them seem dumb when you joke with them in day to day life.
boys are more stubborn , dispute the teacher and follow their own logic wich lands them worse grades.


If you count your girlfriend banging her ex, you actually got fucked three times.


So. This is just another guy who could not get used to the fact that a man's world is very cruel so he decided that it will be easier to be a girl. Well..this is just shows how weak person he is. Such kind of animals die before they grow up in nature.


>I made a huge mistake

Well someone is confident.


Just as bad: I watched Obama win an election. Luckily your sister no longer has to witness this.

Edit: why the downvotes? I am trying to empathize with RationalArgumentMan


It's the death penalty for everything with these guys.  Seriously, kill every sinner on earth, and you kill every last human on earth.


The fucking comments here are ass, this is literally the last fucking time im looking at these comments this is 3edgy5fuckingme.


Do you need anything?


**MEEEOWTH!** *That's right!!*


Because it doesn't work.


Oh my god, fuck off. I dont know you, but there is a big chance you have no authority to judge anyone's mental state. I stand up for what I believe in which happens to be different than something you believe in, and I'm totally nuts. God forbid you try to see it from a perspective you never have, or research rape culture. Yeah, I'm nuts.


Was questioning why you needed to move a dresser to install windows before realising you probably meant the wall ones, not the software.

*edit: So proud my highest rated comment demonstrates Windows software>actual windows in my home.


And I replied to that comment. Eyes. Use them.


"If I weren't do you really think I'd say so?"

"Sir, step aside please."


I've lived in foreign countries as an American and prefer the Metric system so much. The Imperial system makes no goddamn sense.

When I go back to America I'm going to be alienated for a lot of reasons - ranging from my Liberal-Socialist political side, to being an Atheist (Free-Thinker, actually), to preferring metric.


"At least I still have the right to vote"


But what is google?  A copy machine?

(android is a copy of ? but free, gmail is a copy (albeit better) of ? but free, android vm is a copy of ? but free, google search was a copy of ? but (was) without ads)

----

bracing for the down votes


> I think Bob handled this very well.

Bob should have called security and had her taken out back and shot.


i literally LOL-ed to this.


Ain't nothing realer than holdin' it down at the Hobby Lobby, arguing on seasonal vs holiday discounting.


yea.. she was DEFINITELY ASS-aulted.. I saw it with my own two eyes... :P


Was waiting to hear about how she super-glued herself to that spot.


So good to know you're over it.


Maybe accompanied by a slow-motion replay kill camera.


Maybe you should also try searching real quick. Takes as long to make the post you made.


Well, you should probably try to go on more dates to dilute the effect of that date.


Downvote for truth.  The sorority pulled cartman


I'm more annoyed with the fact that the armor is useless against little furry bears throwing rocks at them.


I like how people say he's a cunt, yet he gets the likes of Paul McCartney to work with him.  It's just an act, people. In fact you're giving him the attention he wants and gaining him even more money.


Consumer ignorance never fails to surprise.


You're a complete idiot. Calling brees "locker room cancer" is like saying bill belichick is a bad coach. You have no business posting about a subject you know nothing about


Yes!  Why did nobody else ask this?

I used to take handfuls of tokens and throw them on the ground where there were groups of kids.  They would wrestle each other for them.

I used to tell all the kids that I hid 1000 tickets in the sky tubes.  They'd all go there and it would be nice and quiet for 30 minutes.  There were no tickets.

Stuff like that.


lol reddit just taking youtube comments...


School: You're well aware of how we do things at here at Alcatraz Charter School. God Bless.


Nope, you obviously did a terrible thing by taking this dog home. Just accept it.


Siblings on average share 50% of their gene pool. Unlce/aunt 25%. Cousin 12.5%. Your case <1%. No reason to worry at all.


No baby should live. Glad you did your part.


CLEARED FOR MOTHERFUCKING TAKE OFF!


I hope they send him back...


And the reason they did is because you use phrases like "adopted brother" instead of just brother.


U looked good in the b4 pick too


"No, no, no- hand it to the *herald*. I no longer make physical contact with plebians."


lmao, being a top 10 team in the middle of january isn't really anything to be proud of.

The laughing should start in June


No, we hate boobs and attractive women, why would you even ask?


Notice the Failblog watermark...


I don't want to live in a world where my scrotum popping is the best outcome.


Sorry, what? She said she was annorexic which I don't think she is but thanks for all the downvotes lol. This sub is toxic I guess...


> so I politely punched them

:O

> in separately.

Oh.


As a Professional Chef and Sommelier, at every 15 year old bean jockey at Starbucks calling themselves a "Barista" -  You are no more a "Barista" then the Burger King french fry guy is a Chef.


One day, cats became extinct.


nope.  it's working out pretty well.  all the people who care about torture and less about being a hivemind are upvoting.


What fucking planet is he from where it's acceptable to steal the bride's thunder?


Haha now location of ancestry is akin to a syndrome! You're right, but horrible analogy.


Sounds autistic to me.

Edit: Not sure why this is getting downvoted. It's not an insult. I'm a special ed teacher, and common traits in the autistic spectrum are the inability to read social cues. Specifically, someone on the spectrum might talk and talk and talk about something that interests them without noticing that the other person is bored or wants a turn to talk or is choking to death.


where did you get that idea? i never said that.


Step 1: be attractive

Step 2: dont be unattractive


Some context according to only half the parties involved.

It seems pretty apparent, based on the "Chinaman" comment, that the old guy started the whole thing by being a racist. Amber lamps certainly initiated the physicality, but lets not praise an old racist for his patience simply because he didn't swing first.


NEVER REGRET SHOWING UP AS A GHOSTBUSTER.


Have a downvote for posting personal problems instead of messaging an admin or mods again.


If you watch again you will see he was actually wearing shorts under his shorts. No pants of any kind were seen here.


More like durant chokes in the final game and his clutchness King james has to carry him to the gold, all orchestrated by high lord overseer kope bryan


Yeah, he was a ornery old fart.

My cousin Jane is JUST like her grandfather too. If she likes you she will move heaven and earth to make you happy or help you. If you slight her, she will do the same to see you suffer.

Thankfully we get along great. Well enough that she read that part of the will over the phone to me so I could contribute. :)


Probably shouldn't have joined the military.


And then realize that instead of looking up into the sky, you're actually gazing down into the infinite cosmic abyss, with only gravity holding you onto the surface of the earth.


brb using dental floss


Double wow. She also wrote a book entitled *The World of Homosexuals* after finding that she married a homosexual man. In the end it calls for  "full and complete acceptance [of homosexuals]—not tolerance and not sympathy."

I think we could learn a lot more than math from this woman.


Thanks Captain Obvious


You now have a girlfriend with Iggy Azalea's body and Melissa McCarthy's face. She says she likes long walks, but is actually found overusing the stairmaster at her local gym. She has five dogs of various breeds, one of which is a german shepherd who is too fond of her. On your wedding night, you find out she is a furry.


I, on the other hand, would rather have an XBOX 360. Honestly, why do people still waste money on these USELESS machines? The XBOX 360 is SO MUCH BETTER than this old crap. Because this post relates to ancient gaming, I have NO CHOICE but to DOWNVOTE this post. Sorry, OP, but please submit better content. :)


Well, since Shaun of the dead came out in 2004, he probably already knew he was cast in MI-3 which came out in 2006.


But...those aren't even U.S pennies...


Downvoted.  **Deal with it.**

     B :|

      B:|

       B|


Sooo... not MS Paint?


Also, she's a fat bitch.


I was once standing behind a couple of boys who had to be about 12 and one started talking about how his mom doesn't let him have energy drinks but he wasn't going to "listen to that bitch" because he didn't "let anyone tell him what the fuck to do." He thought he was a huge badass for buying a monster energy drink but I was just cracking up the whole time.


I think I can talk for the rest of this subreddit when I say you are wicked busty but not incredibly petite as you meet the 5'6 mark on the door behind you.
You are incredibly hot tho so that might change things a bit


And the sheer anger with which I masturbate


4 . Pancakes or waffles? [](/troll)


People need to stop pretending they speak French...


It's liberalism. It's about the feels. It doesn't have to make sense.

Reality is what we want it to be.


That's not crazy, that's called ~~natural~~ ~~artificial~~ ~~natural~~ ~~damn it, I don't even know anymore~~ sexual selection.

Edit : rare and sorrow

Final edit: Fuck this shit, sexual selection is my final answer.


I used to love knowing that I helped someone, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Red white and blue is America idiots

Edit: Thanks for the gold!


I think it's great that you can get 130+ points just for making a mindless reference while my posts always get ignored.


"Remember to only cut off one hand children, as cutting off both hands sees a near 100% drop in productivity."


lmao cry baby cant even read 420 blaze without crying.


A girl I know often says she got fucked harder in retail than she ever did as a sex worker.


Possible.  But even if it wasn't, that doesn't mean that angels don't exist.

But the important thing is that you saw a 10 year old happy girl and put a stop to it.  Good job.  You don't want children to experience too much joy.  It's not good for them.  You want them to be depressed and hopeless like you.


not taking off shoes indoors


*shakes head*

Whatever, insecure.


A boy genius that thinks electrons have planetary-like orbits.


No need to be a jerk, enjoy your downvote asshole.


Fuck, I would listen to [this](http://imgur.com/uEkCkEO) so hard.


Lick cock stains on ass pubes you piece of yeast infested cunt :)


As terrible as that is, I've cooked for so long that sort of shit doesn't even bother me anymore. People like what they like and it's doubtful they're gonna change. It's when they are petulant demanding assholes about it that gets me.


For all you dummies like me that are trying to get a deep meaning.. zyra... plants... spring... plants rise... fall... plants fall...


I knew a girl who did that, too, except with a nice little Ranger.  It was a couple years old, but had all the bells and whistles, except 4WD.  That wasn't good enough for her, so she wrecked it intentionally.  She fractured her neck and had to walk around with a cervical collar for a couple months.

And then her parents bought her a piece of shit  1980-something Ford Escort.


I thought you sold your car? Troll.


1) List the steps of the Krebs cycle.

Answer: God does it.

Correct


I just installed it, but I'm not 100% happy with this texture pack either, so I'll have to keep looking.


Seriously what the fuck was he talking about


thanks!

ps. sorry for being honest...


I used to write on CDs, but then the fire nation attacked.


The couple that makes fun of each others stays with each other.

Same way with my wife and I. We don't hesitate to tell each other things that we know the other will make fun of us for. Makes for a fun and open relationship.


Nah, we're friends for 30 years.  She'll laugh.  She's donated to Atheist causes when asked before.  She's a Christian, but she "gets it".

Thanks for trollin' me, tho.  Love the fan base.


Shit, now *I* miss old Jack.


God, only 16 people got the Kanye reference? That's not enough! Well done, sir. Have an upvote for a subtle yet effective joke!


I think she posts headless webcam sessions of herself masturbating on myfreecams.com and just doesn't tell anyone.


Where everything major has been discovered and they wind up in the depressing world of academia and all the bullshit that comes with it.

There is so much shit being researched and very little of it is of any actual use to anyone.


Why wouldn't you just run it with Lynch?


hurr durrr, you can always tell a skinny virgin neckbeard who probably doesn't have even small drop of testosterone on his body. Good luck with your boring life, your future wife will cheat on you.


Found the woman.

Edit: Deleted all edits.


Shut up you little shit, why would a 12 year old have a lack of humour? You sayin all 12 year olds have a lack of humour? Well I guess you're right since you are 12 and you dont

btw I took a sword to the elbow


Three ways never work out, it's like playing 3 player smash brothers. It's always a 1 on 1 with some jerk left out on the other end of the stage just shooting projectiles at the other 2.


I used to want a video of this... for science. But then I took an arrow to the knee!


So that's why Michael Jackson turned white? From all those moon walks?


I know what kind of dude takes a fucking bath?  I mean serious, I never met a dude who took baths, seems odd and unnatural.  Dog's cute though.


You are completely missing the point.

It begins with occasionally saying fuck on live tv. Next thing, children will start hearing the word fuck. Next thing, they'll be asking questions about it. And before you know it, sex-ed is accepted and the teenage pregnancy rate will drop.


***Spoiler***[Miranda Tate is the villain. Alfred kills Bane Batman don't die in the end. Bane is just a pawn. Catwoman is Bruce's lost sister.](/spoiler)


Lol bookings for diving in La Liga


My grandpa used to eat avocados after raping me.


That's a fifty-million-dollar Hollywood production with ticket sales of a quarter-billion just waiting to happen.


/r/asktransgender is for trans people to ask questions, the cis people tend to stumble in by default and get downvoted to oblivion


No one ever says that... No one.


Did you not read the comments at all? 15 minuted ago someone asked the same question and got a reply..


Not really. Just find the right village and sell all iron daggers you can.


I laughed

Edit: YOU CALL THIS DOWNVOTING?? PUT YER BACK INTO IT!


use a mirror too so we can see that camera and end the chain


He goes unscripted just as Jennifer Lawrence does, that's what makes them great.


Would that be the "Go Fuck Yourself" law of economics?


The letter blow back surprised me too. It is just stating simple facts how treaties are ratified in America.

I then remembered that these are Democrat politicians we're talking about. I bet they were shocked to discover there are three branches of government.

No wonder they're outraged. Can't have people talking about the voting process! That's treason!


Seems legit, sent $100. Now if you turn out to be stealing money I'll spend another $100 on a machete of my own.


Umm.. we killed him not too long ago. So, I'm not sure where this sarcasm is going ...  And he was a [great](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=THlaMUq6MKU#t=3060s) president.


In fairness, at age 16, that probably **was** his crowning achievement.


I just got there I made this post for the eden run


How did she let your dad not wear a condom then? You seriously shouldn't be alive.


not really, she is selfish and wants to feel good about herself. nothing more annoying than preg bitches. they act moral to cover the guilt of bringing a kid into this world of chaos.


21 year old senior... Yeah that makes sense.


Ahh... the old [reddit switch-a-roo.](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/zkcsa/ouch/c65dvdn?context=3)


Yeah, well, that's just like, your sententia, man.


It's EXTREMELY rare, and from what I've seen tends to go hand in hand with being a lunatic.  Legally it's recognized as an orientation, but there's little evidence to support that.

edit: CRY SOME MORE


I never knew there was other Shamus. I've only been to one SeaWorld, and being Canadian and not much of a TV watcher I never saw ads for a Shamu elsewhere.

San Diego Shamu is where my heart will reside.


not even my image


To be fair, I don't think you prepare for these kinds of situations.


So you're saying you don't care about supporting LGBT rights?


They work in the music industry. At first they tried Jazz and a bit of Blues but ended up sticking to Metal


you didn't go through the trouble of making it, so STFU.


I still see this regularly.


not as fun as  CLG's...they are literally laughing all the time lol


Not to add insult to injury. .. the place I currently work at sells them for 6.99


Let me *crack* you up: Those were *weed cookies*. Telling you they were Christmas Cookies?

Nice ................................................--METH--od.

^Let ^me ^end ^this ^pun-thread ^here ^before ^people ^e--LAB--orate

;D


Damn the 1%! They get buttsex too?


You, you blithering idiot.

> You are just karma whoring off of a friends misfortune.

Swarble my pendulous sweetbreads...and then go make me a pot pie.


You put the tl;dr at the top, so I ended up reading the whole thing. I feel like I've been tricked.


I don't know, having a bunch of unlicensed traffic wardens running around fucking up people's windshields and antagonising people doesn't really seem like a good thing to me at all.


Oh my god, I choked on the ending. Good one.


tell that too my 31 up tokes


Wow, I believed it up till the end bravo


if only he could delete his history of poor dental hygiene as easily as he deleted this post.


/╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\


This is how conservatives and the middle-class felt toward the end of the 1960s.

*Burning and looting your own cities and acting like hostile animals toward the rest of society really isn't helping your "cause," folks.*


"No, we aready have cat name that. Dog name is Runch."


>attacked

lol

>stripped

lol

>drowned

lol


If I was him I would use it against them.
"My feet hurt."
"Yeah my feet hurt too after marching day and night through the valleys on a mission."(?)
Sorry I wasn't military.


When in reality he was trying to save them from looking like a couple faggots.


Either that or "I'm dying and you guys aren't taking me seriously".


fucking right the bus driver had power to change it.  DONT DRIVE THE FUCKING BUS.  You have to make SACRIFICES in life to do the right thing sometimes... ugh. caps coming out... I'm going to go play in my garden now.  go fuck yourselves you cowards.


Descartes is the originator of the phrase "I think, therefore I am."

The horse said "I don't think I am", meaning he no longer thought he was, therefore he wasn't. Hence why he disappeared.

Explaining the concept first is putting Descartes before the horse, which is what I just did. It is a pun on "putting the cart before the horse".


It's impossible to take anyone seriously who uses the term social justice warrior unironically.


*Hey girl i missed you today let's see whats under that dress*

*Ok ;-)*

*...fuck this shit*

Game changer for sure.


She makes me want to vomit and then kill myself. That's how awful she looks.


Stop waiting.

**Derail the train.**


Here I was thinking reddit wouldn't get the jab at their white plight reverse racism comments.


dirtymousepad is not going to sleep tonight - Terry Crews loved his joke


* **I**
* **DON'T**
* **CARE**
* **ABOUT**
* **WHAT**
* **THE**
* **CLAN**
* **OF THE**
* **GAMING**
* **NECKBEARD**
* **THINKS**

* **HONESTLY**


Unless you want them in a specific order I can do this too


This comment deserves more upvotes than it currently has


You wouldn't have gotten far on club penguin


Aww, what a nice lie.


He can't find local milfs looking to fuck.


I occasionally search for underage models and fap to their pictures. It doesn't make me a bad guy. It's a natural thing.


He would literally do that. He would put his hand on your shoulder and ask you about your day, what makes you smile, and all about your life.

If you want to cry like a big baby within the first 10 pages read "I'm Proud of You: My Friendship With Fred Rogers".


So glad I'm on reddit and I can downvote this...


As a woman, I can confirm this is accurate.

Lol.


Wow, get your attention elsewhere!


Did you abort the 'g'?


That would also give the pups a steady stream of carbon monoxide.


Now that you're saying that the resemblance is really astonishing.


lmfao, Reddit really hates black people

Thousands of twitter accounts with kids tweeting what's on their minds.  "But this kids is black so let's use this as an opportunity to humiliate him"


Except I have a feeling OP is a gril...


This picture is waaaay older than Reddit.


If they start, bribe them with alcohol


So no olympian has to apologize for their shortcomings?

I've finally figured out how to assassinate senators.


I wanna be a cock detective like you when I grow up


Thank you.  Inquiring minds kind of wanted to know.


Problem is half the content on reddit consists of 10 word long memes, the first three words of which are standard among 1000 others... "One does not simply... Know what the second half will be."


Ya I hate when girls suck my dick without asking first


"Sorry I'm late boss... but uh.... I'm on mars time. For science."


and if it does stick he will be on a sex offender list for the rest of his life and his life will be ruined and he will turn to crime and etc. etc.

The judicial system doesn't fix people. It's just a tool for social (or personal) retribution


Rush Holt. Representative from NJ.  He's got a PhD in Physics.  I have an interview in queue with him for StarTalk radio.  Will likely air in march or April. In it we talk about all the Members of Congress who are scientifically literate -- and all those who are not.


Terrorist joke in /r/wow?  classy


No, it was definitely Cheney.


Well shit, guess you just need to grow a pair.


Yup. Open ocean scares the shit out of me and I'm a sailor.


lol thefunkymonk must be stupid to say that as a teeenager XD


> about 5 minutes from being a hilarious ER story

Sounds like a close call.


The only bus I throw gay men under is MY BED and by under I mean INTO


The first time I saw this movie, it was on tv so I figured that the news team he worked for actually censored it.


ur*

am sry had 2 do dat


He somehow didn't notice at first. He got home from work, came in the house, sat down, and watched TV. I was in my room thinking "Let him come to me," as if that would change the circumstances of my grounding somehow. But he never came.

It wasn't until two or three hours later when my Uncle Al came over and asked "What the hell happened to the front of your house?" that all hell broke loose.


Can we cut this shit out? They haven't even put out a fucking album since 2008. Find a new shitty artist, and circlejerk about how you're too cool for them instead.


Or old people who sign every forum post.

-Drawtaru

*Edit.*  What I've learned from this: Peter Mayhew can do whatever he damn well pleases.


I used to know when to give up, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I got a GoPro for Christmas and the only thing I could think to do was attach it to my dog. The problem is that my dog, at the time, was a 14 year old Yorkie. So when I attached the camera she just collapsed and laid there looking miserable. I got some great footage of the kitchen floor though.


Bet she's put more things then her tounge there.

Edit: Get your mind out of the gutter.


Reddit.

Edit: Woohoo!


MensRights is full of misogynist idiots who somehow think men are oppressed.

Note that I said I didn't say it should be shut down however.


Even better, just put your penis in his mouth.


No, I did post it in r/nfl but it was downvoted to hell. I deleted it to save internets space.


I couldn't have been the only person watching Iron Man 3 who absolutely loved the opening scene in the club with this song...

...

...right?


And now we know where the meme face came from.
#whoosh


Nice try, Pizza Hut owner in Dubuque, IA.


I was unsubbed for a little while during Cata and Panda. :C
Sorry I hated your mistakes Blizzard.


It's all beginning to make sense now.


It's pretty shitty for you to even HAVE a crush.


It helps that you have a super thick wiener


Get over it princess!


You forgot my favorite

Shocked by defibrilator?

BZZZT

Good as new!

BZZZRT

Dead

BZZZRT

Good as new!


I'm entitled to my opinion.  Just because I choose logic over an appeal to pity does not make me an asshole.  Assuming he is telling the truth about this soon to be motherless child, it's their own fault for not getting it aborted

Chances are this guy isn't married and feels guilty for wanting better sex from his floppy, terminally ill girlfriend.


Sorry guys, but unless tomriddle_jr is a 62-year-old female patient who was admitted in October 2005, then his proof of MRI scans is bupkiss.

http://neurostudyclub.mcgill.ca/dec2005/dec2005_p6.htm


Directed by M. Night Shyamalan


They ended it perfectly about 3 times, I wouldn't mind another perfect ending!


He also tried to recite this as he died.... but his page burned.


Move along, Reddit.

edit: Thanks, guys. Doubled my comment karma with one comment. It's been a blast, going to use it to woo this girl now.


Not everyone who doesn't get a joke should post a reply...

Edit: Wow such touchy asshole with not sense of humor. Don't forget your pitch forks guys... geez get a life/.


"...but who would pay for that."

Oddly sad...=\


Downvote if you hate Neil Degrasse Tyson


Never wonder. Always know.


You think it's cute? Those dogs look like their pit bulls. Corgis are cute, pit bulls are dangerous.


Reminds me of the time my girlfriend and I took a city bus. This incredibly gorgeous, petite, Thai girl sat down across from us. She kept giving me these overly conspicuous sexy looks. All I could think was "not now, don't get a boner, don't get a boner." And then she did.


So you feel rejected, and now you are whoring yourself out on the web.

The guy may have made a wise choice...


Time consuming but genius. Worth it.


No... God I don't want to say it,

No... No com... No complaint here.


I do this crazy thing called "not watching the news" and I honestly have no idea who's running for president.


Yeah yeah yeah. Still didn't address the PM comment and you seem to be losing composure.

And I actually really like my real life, believe it or not. No insecurities there.


To engage in fisticuffs .

Edit: Improved by popular request.


Saying something is a downvote bridge implies that it downvotes without justification. From what I can see the downvotes are pretty justified.

Disclaimer: I don't visit SRS and I didn't downvote any of the links (yet... hohoho).


Start of inception, Leo washes up on a Beach my friend shouts "What's this? Titanic 2?"


EDIT: I managed to piss off reddit :D


When you see one you like, just buy it. If it's good lookin', someone is right behind you ready to snap it up. I find them at Nordstrom (the store and Rack). I have a couple dozen that Beau Ties of Vermont made into bows from straight ties with intriguing patterns. Astronomy2Go is a good source thereof. Right now, I'm diggin' the slimline with arrow points. Ahh...


These are sub games meant to be in good fun. No reason to rage at your fans who are trying their best.


But the blood attracts the customers.


Well, so much for my "That's racist!" response. You beat me to it. Up-vote for you.


Reminds me of the [monkey Jesus](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/08/22/article-2400354-1B46E378000005DC-437_634x478.jpg) fiasco in Spain.


Good sir? wtf is up with that?

LOLZ AN UPTOKE FOR LE YOU, LE KIND GOOD LE SIR.


Australians seem like the most laid back people on earth.


Fuck you. This is kind of important news, don't cha think?


That's kind of the point of these


I used to be not crippled like you, but then I took an user agreement to the knee


Double standards are a fact of reality.

Men and women *are* different.

Expecting them to be the same, and act the same, and get treated the same is stupidity.


You're stupid and an asshole if you like other humour?
Edit: +6 -36: you are bigots.
And, for those that don't know it, [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/help/reddiquette) says: Don't downvote opinions just because you disagree with them. The down arrow is for comments that add nothing to the discussion. (Did I add to the discussion? Yes, I tried to discuss uncletheo's opinion.)


You'd go to jail. "Your honor, she was being a huge cunt" should be a viable legal defense.


Which is exactly what I did.


Why do people do that..
When I was 10 and watching movies with my parents, I couldn't even stand the kissing scenes.


kill yourself. then in heaven ask god for a vcr and a vsh tape of zoolander


My mom thought that website was the sole reason the computer was slow not her album of 10,000 photos, or the fact she opens and downloads literally anything she is emailed.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IS FUNNY BECAUSE BONUS SOUNDS LIKE BONER, AND HE RUNS A PORN SITE! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!


That got dark quickly. Sad as hell.


Now I don't own an iphone, but the "217" messages at the top would lead me to believe that that's how many messages have been sent back and forth between these two people. I use an evo and that's how its displayed on mine. So correct me if I'm wrong but it does lead me to believe it's fake.


That was fucking stupid of them. Cheating at roulette is pretty much impossible, they should have plied you with drinks and free shit and got you to spend your winnings at the Luxor.
Edit: after waking up to a shit ton of orangereds, apparently it is possible to cheat at roulette. Still, it's stupid to not try to get him to spend it all at the casino instead of just booting him.


Yes, USA are clearly the best team in the world right now. Beating a team in a friendly, wow. There should be medals for that.

It's funny, I was over in the US for the final they played against Mexico last summer. Even when they went 2-0 up, me and my friends knew that they were going to lose. And they did.


Haha, I love you story. He is a lucky man to have you both :)

edit: you**r** story, obviously :|


Oh **God** yes* :-)

On a side note, this legal document shows how unprofessional Stephen Colbert really is :-) I am lucky that I do not watch his show :-)


is it weird that I was expecting way more cum and am now a little disappointed?


Medical paperwork is fine too.


You don't "use" a fax machine.  You put stuff in the fax machine, and if it feels you're worthy, it may fax it.


wow for someone who dislikes gamepro you sure love to follow them around... LOL  (keep records of their votes; see what they submit; see who comments. LMAO While your at it, mind telling me whats their shoe size number and social security number too bitch LOL hope off their dicks) Seems to me like you love em bro. (oooo.. i know, maybe your their secret admirer)


A family friend's kid likes to "invent" things. When he realized that the wireless phones always ran out of battery, he came up with this: "Why don't we run a wire to connect the phone to the phone base?"


love the SNL reference


you might be a prostitute


LOLOL  U R SO BRAVE!!! UPVOTE FUR U TOO!!!

#[WEDDITORS] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnp3AgXP0dU)


> I did not become Batman.

Brutal.


As someone who used bath salts, this sort of psychosis only happens to users with pre-existing mental issues such as schizophrenia.


That's funny. I once rejected a student who applied to our PhD program to work with me because she PLAGIARIZED MY PAPER in the personal essay portion of her application. Who does that?


Having a successful life is better, you fucking lazy pothead loser.

There's a reason only young people do it. You grow up someday and learn how pointless and loserish it is.