That's the deepest insult ever. Mike Tyson isn't gay. The reporter isn't gay. But Mike Tyson is going to have sex with that guy so hard, so vigorously, with so much passion, that the reporter is going to fall in love with him. And after the reporter has fallen in love, Tyson will insult him and crush his heart.

It's probably one of the most vile, greatest insults I've ever heard.


Not sure why you're downvoted.


Well the hospital are obviously going to remove the one that is wrong, which only leaves the right one! /s


first, your comment doesn't make any fucking sense. secondly, people aren't putting out comics like this anymore, and never will. shut up and go away.


a Bogan is an australian term for a redneck, white trash


It all started 13 years ago, when i first started school. At that point in life i realized that i liked to be a douchebag. I don't know how i became it.


Men and women are *sooo* different!  How wacky!


shut the fuck up moron


"Oh what's that, Reddit's down? Must be Tuesday."


Yeah. It was intended to be private. It took some convincing, and she had NO CLUE how big reddit is. I told her I'd take it down if she got nervous, but she seems to be enjoying it at the moment.


I will shave a crop circle into my pubic hair if OP delivers. If he fails to, I am happy to recreate the scene in interpretive dance for £5.


You mean the moment she's a woman?

I'm sorry, I'll see myself out.


Lol seriously, I do construction and stereotypes are true more often than not


I AM the one who kn-kn-knocks!


It's called a library honey...

Dorm rooms are for pregaming, partying, sleeping, sleeping with other individuals, and being.social.


Yeah you can touch your mom with out incesting all over her. The weird part is BOTH are topless. My mom broke her shoulder and I had to help wash her. It was lame, but you do it for family. She detailed my asshole when I was a baby, I owe her.


AND YET YOU CONTINUE.....

i was there. you're making snap judgements from a pair of photographs.

here are a few facts i can tell you for certain...

1-she swept the park first.
2-soft wheels.
3-SHE HAD HER DOCTOR'S OK. she was overdue, and her doctor encouraged vigorous activity to try to induce labor....
4-you're not a doctor.


Because we are a sane country, where we don't like people getting bankrupted because of a small accident, whether that be due to medical bills or insurance liabilities. <so proud>


11/10 would read again


For a second I assumed that your date really was blind, and the joke was that she wouldn't know if they were cute or not...


I used to question the original poster, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


"Don't you put that evil on me Ricky Bobby!
Don't you put that evil on us!
You are not paralyzed!"

RIP to one of my favourite actors :(


You didn't, though? Just to clarify. Time to put the past away.


I got in one little fight and my mom got scared

She said "you're french, just wave your white flag in the air!"


Looks like you could use a few trips to the gym. Fat people like you disgust me.


Apollo 13 was actually only the 7th Apollo mission. After the Apollo 1 disaster, they went straight to 7, for luck.


So the onus is on the public not to be difficult? Sounds like grade A fascism to me.


Truer words never spoken.


Yes. I did. Much like actual Mad Libs, when you use the real words, it's not fun. He was a comedy writer. This is what he would have wanted.


This got me too because I remember my mom doing the same thing at Burger King. They had this deal where you could get 2 burgers and 2 fries for $2.22. There were five of us boys and she was a single mom, so she'd order like 3 or 4 of these deals and just eat whatever was left (if anything).

Texting her now to say thank you.


TIL all $541 million in tax cuts was given to the wealthy! Care to cite your source?

Edit: downvoting science doesn't make said science any less true. That's not how this works -- that's not how any of this works.


That was anti-climactic


People, upvote this shit immediately!!


> In jail he was cell mates with Jordan Belfort

Small world, isn't it?


Guy wants to be loved by "curing" malaria. The unintended result will be the destruction of the final wild jungle areas that humankind has yet to overrun. The people "saved" will continue to breed more and more children destined to starve and the real losers will be Nature and biodiversity. Great outcome, just so this shithead can feel loved.


I've been supporting them for years now. Anyone know how this plays into my tax deductions?


He can't fire you. He's not SUPPOSED to after something so trivial, and the firing would be unwarranted and wrong.

 Just a tiny post-it note in your desk telling you to check your work is fine.


It's never lupus.

Edit: sorry for ruining everyone's day :(


No one knows what it means but it's provacative.


Yeah, because physical assault against spouses or children is *hilarious* right?

I'm all for off color jokes, but this is a pathetic excuse for 'comedy'.


This one hit a little close for me.


I hope you brought lots of a spaghetti! -Weegie

Fuck you guys, I had a CD-I and that game was more fucking legit than any Mario game you guys ever played.


You think she's joking?


what does running fast have to do with firefights?

also, he wasn't trying to be a soldier.


<---IT REALLY WORKS


He could have just said MRW or TFW.


>assuming you own clothes

You assume too much sir.


An abortion by chemotherapy is not considered an abortion in either a church or a legal sense.  If abortion were illegal, she would still not be prohibited from receiving cancer destroying treatment.


Has anyone tried eating him in a movie yet?  I'd eat him.  Cant out crazy me, motherfucker!


It's not pay to win. They mentioned in one of their posts that you can get the items elsewhere in the game. And if you buy, say, a good backpack and you die, anybody can pick it up. I'm pretty sure they said you won't be able to buy weapons.

Edit: Love getting downvoted for telling the truth...


> But I'm calling Bullshit

I didn't think we actually had to discuss it. It's pretty obvious it's a joke setup.

But then I read down the comments and realised a lot of people have no bullshit detector.


I came in just to say that, and upvoooooote to muststopmasturbating


SLIDE YOUR SWORD OF DESIRE INTO MY WARM, WET CAVE OF PLEASURE.


YER, ERTS DA FERST THIN MAHST PERPL DER... ERNCLERDIN MAHSERLF, ERP HERS NER ERERGERNERLERTER WHERTSERVER, HER SHERLD BER ERSHERMAHD ERF HERMSERLF, HER JERST KERDIN, I WERNT TER FER... WERL THERS ERS ERWKWERD...


http://www.rmirror.net/r/videos/comments/p7nq0/fat_black_kid_beats_the_hell_out_of_bully/

Remember kids: If a youtube video gets taken down that was on reddit, just go the comment's page url and replace "reddit.com" with "rmirror.net".

[](/b16)


So wrong. He did do something wrong. Breaking into her privacy, for whatever reason, is wrong. Sure, she may be cheating, but just because you suspect someone of something doesn't give you right to just rummage through their things.

In fact, I think you're looking up child porn. Give me your internet history. All of it. Right now.


I hope you responded "Good, because you're about to watch me walk away."


I'd be lying if I said there wasn't anymore room.


Sorry, I'm not going to touch that one.


To be fair. Foreksin is revolting.


I have an immune system, and I'll be goddamned if I'm not gonna use it.


Why would I want to listen to the awful audio quality that is xbox live voice chat?


No, he would be more like

> Jesus lady, do you shit rotting maggots out of your meat grinder?


You are the reason this subreddit is a joke


And for having fun with it


How many times has this happened for you to notice a pattern? And why are you there so often? Be honest, it happened once.


Depends...if its not too much work...


Why not? Fat people have already given up on life and accepted being fat, what's the harm if a few of us normal people get a few yucks off of them?


Combos

Brawl

Pick one


My grandfather worked in the space program.  He explained it to me like this:

"Imagine firing a bottle-rocket at a dime from across a football field.  Hitting the dime would be a thousand times easier, and nobody dies if you miss."


and you can have a downvote


Yes that is in fact blood.  So this is what apparently happened.  The guy was walking around on the side of my house (drunk) and walked around front where I have stairs leading down into the basement.  He didn't see the stairway and fell down and smashed his face against the wall.

See Photo Diagram:
http://i.imgur.com/WwEaK.jpg


Do you do this for a living?
I mean, tricking people into believing stuff as this to receive Karma?

No hate, just wondering. Anyone with just a slightly higher IQ than monkeys can figure out that you created a file, named it whatever you did, created a new file and called it the exact same, not by sheer coincidence, it was crafted delicately for karma.

Am I not correct?


Warning: Chuck can eat a LOT of churros.

http://i.imgur.com/jCllyXb.png


It is so cool being me!  :)


Looks like your dad pulled it off.


Actually I dislike /r/sc and how it's run quite a bit, this sub is way better but I am still not a fan of how it's run.


This is why I don't go to reddit meetups.


Dragging your landlord into neighbor drama litigation might not be the brightest idea if it can be avoided.


Also, I participated in OWS protests, and the cops were miles more respectful than the actual protesters. I was shocked at how disrespectful and ignorant the protesters were, and how gracefully the police force kept trying to keep things in order.


You think you're some kind of car safety expert?  Only the crumple zones crumpled.  Stop being such a racist.


HAHAHAHA! My wife is a huge fan of cats, though I'm not sure she's THAT much of a fan of cats. She'll love it.


How can you be glad about anything. They rig the games, dude


That was simply amazing.


I'd think turning to violence was the definition of being a cunt.


I will travel across the land, searching far and wide

each pizza box to understand which toppings are inside


He's a Texans "insider" who can't even get his twitter verified. I am inclined not to believe him at all


Actually this is something all women go through. You are very unknowledgeable.


WE ARE WEEGION!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE NEVA FORGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It is a trilby you commoner, good day.

凸(>皿<)凸


Your parties sound awesome. I would have gone.


Oh god, yeah, 64 gb. You caught me. I'll just buy two of those and a 16 gb to hold my music.


Happy dance for sure.  Lots of spinning.  My daughter can't help but laugh when she is spinning in my arms to music.
It would be a perfect last image for my life.


shame you didn't die, considering you're a faggot for driving that


Call me crazy, but if someone texts you, they're probably not using a landline.


Immediately read it in a family guy-esqe rendition of jerry's voice. Have an upboat you magnificent bastard


Haters gonna hate, no worries. I'd rub my dick all over those eyebrows.


So much so they are about two srd shitlord posts from converting me.

Seriously.

Hope ya'll have a spare couch I could sleep on.

Edit: totally not a downvote brigade. Lmao.


Have you ever watched the Undercover Boss episode for hooters? There's a manager in the episode that's such a dirt bag


**WARNING**.  'trober' just boned an innocent pizza shop owner and a poor redditor underling at a mom and pop advertisement agency run out of his home.

trober just earned the **REDDITS DOUCHEBAG OF THE YEAR**  award.  Good job, dick.  You probably work for 'big game'.


Ahhhhh the old late night parking lot mustang convertible blow job. Good times.


We were on a break not too long ago.


For the record: not me


Having abilities you can't predict for. Yes, random elements to the game. I do know what that word means. You do not.


***DOTA 3 CONFIRMED***


Only people more crazy than anti vaxxers are the ones constantly posting about them while frothing at the mouth.


Sucked at it. SUCKED.


Maybe it's because I've been on the internet a LONG time. But this is old news. Newfag shit.


He needs the bear necessities.


Oh, poor wittie jimminiy clarkson couldn't go 6 hours without shoveling food in his fat face? Shocking.


Alaska here. Why are we posting summer gear when it's clearly winter out?


*Snap Kick* "OH MY GOD SHE BROKE HER VAGINA!"


Doesn't change the fact that I am more gangster than him at the moment.

And I am as white as they come.


I kind of lost contact as the only way I was able to follow him was through twitter.  Last I knew he was a tour guide in Mexico because he didn't want to pay child support.  I don't know that I necessarily believe in karma but my ex certainly learned a lesson in it which is unfortunate.


>I've grown immensely as a person through my experiences

At the cost of Iraqi children's lives. Even if you didn't fire a shot, you acted in a supportive capacity to those that did.


You should use this story to get laid. A lot.


wellllll they did it to spite marshawn lynch for his media non-compliance, and made lynch's run #2.  so take it with a grain of salt.


Lol, that's a good one! What went through my head when I saw this:

>Customer with back problems: "What is this, an *inconvenience* store?!"

>Store clerk: "Yes sir, that's *exactly* what this is!" While chuckling for the customer's inconvenience.


a preview at E3, **PREVIEW**

Once an actually game comes out, it'll be (hopefully) implemented better.


Especially at Walmart. Oh my is it ever common there.


Yeah, ur not in the nhl bud. Chirping a guy for no reason just makes you a dick.


"Why are you so fat?"


A man using a woman as his meat shield?  Nobody thinks this would set off anybody?


May want to have the kids DNA tested too, sadly. Edit: Forgot to say DNA.


wish this rule would apply to Schilling himself


It's a fun side note, but it's not really important historically.  When kids in the future learn about US history in the early 21st century, they're probably going to focus on 9/11 and the war on terror, and not the fact that at one point the vice president shot someone in the face and was apologized to for it.


wow, someone's been smoking too much leaf...nice conspiracy theory bro but pot increases crime and that's a good enough reason for me to make it a felony.


All I got out of that paint drawing was the detail you put into the rug


Gender is slanted in todays society because appearances are everything. Transgenders are essentially lying to other people and deceiving them into thinking they are a woman or a man when in fact they are the opposite.


I am banking this term for the next time my girlfriend is gassy.


What do you expect from your overpriced console?


I would think they were being weird for watching a video of you pooping.


This deserves to be at the top.

Edit: Don't worry, I downvoted myself too.


They were that day son.


I honestly don't understand why there are so many idiots on this subreddit. I lost a huge amount of respect for the vast majority of this site today. If you're born with a penis, you're a fucking male. If you think otherwise, you're an ignorant, blind, hopeless fool.


i like to say "hey fatty" and play it off like a joke. why don't i have any friends?


substitute gamers for U.S. Americans and you're pretty much spot on.


So does Clark Kent still wear those dopy glasses?


Stuff like this just takes up space.


You are the worst kind of person.


so do i just delete the comment now or pretend like no one knows


The funniest part about this is that you were seemingly more grossed out by toilet water than the actual stuff that made the water dirty in the first place.


Yes, shocking that a Soros media outlet would write such an article!


Xerox controls the paper. Checkmate, citizens.


Where do you see my facebook account?


Oh, I cried. I cried a lot!


Yes i guess u all are right..belongs not in the wtf..sow-wee....the atheiest Forum are just crazy hateful bunch...i just wanted to show and tell..not to go into religious rants at atheism forum :-P


Surprising, one would assume.


This argument ended already, [let it go!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk).


You mean the same place the Scarecrow would have ended up?


you sir deserve more upvotes.


It's a product made by bees, and derived from the "exploitation" of said animals. Just like silk from silkworms is non-vegan. Or so I've had it explained to me.


I think he meant pedophile.  Also stick figures depicting children having sex = child porn.  Reporting this thread.


Friend zoned and the dog gets the girl.

Life is cruel indeed.

Dogs point of view is you were cock blocking him.


that would be The Beatles actually.


She probably had good intentions from the start. Truth is, a lot of jackasses *do* park in handicapped spaces for no good reason.


*It* seemed like a nice person.


Especially "whom" and "I." People assume for some reason that they're just fancy alternatives to "who" and "me."

On the "I" thing - I've heard people use "I" as an object. "Call Dave or I tomorrow morning."


Yep, let's punish young minorities for playing with people who don't live near them. That'll get 'em into baseball.


*Tell it again! Tell it again!*


I just remember a lot of loud noises and blood....

I'm the kinda guy who thinks he's part of the movie he just watched. I went werewolf on that ass.


Upvote solely for the TL;DR.


Or she could be ugly as fuck.  The only reason for your optimism is your virginity.  No, it isn't funny.  At all.  Are you fucking twelve?  Do you enjoy going down on women?


make combustible lemons and burn lifes house down


http://www.thestranger.com/blog/files/2006/09/easter_ferret.jpg You are adorable.


> fruit stripe gum zebra

Was he sick of the tattoo after 20 seconds?


> Men. What do you think selective service is.

Not tied to voting rights for starters...

**hey arseholes try refuting the point...And I am not refering to \perfecthair here...


Many babies are born with a deficiency of essential jerkies.


Hey thats /r/mylittlepony s joke

Edit: probable reasons for down votes

1. Anti bronies

2. I dont know the internet well

3. Others saw the downvores and downvoted

4. Unkown


Ah, there's some intellectual discourse for ya.  Because we weren't "hatched in a lab" that means that this girl should walk down the street holding a sign that says "fuck" in big red letters.  She makes herself look like a slut.  There is such a thing as dignity, you know.


It's really that simple.


Reminds me of how someone posted that yesterday.


It's just that she represents blind obedience and a love of institution and order, which is a much more realistic fear in our lives than a guy who wants to cheat death and take over the world.


with virtual items...


Didn't you get the memo?  Fat guys are totally fine, but fat women offend our sensibilities.


Yes. More Baby Killers and their enablers are just what the world needs.


The officer who offered help in setting up a restraining order deserves kudos for going above and beyond in serving the public.


That's correct, Obama is currently only responsible for ~1200 US deaths and ~50 - 75k Iraqi Deaths. He even fails at being Hitler! He's trying though. We can call him mini hitler.

Obama apologists are among the dumbest inbred hick motherfuckers in this country.


On your cake day, no less!


I actually checked his profile, he is owning every game.
If you want a proof, download the replay and check for yourself:
1137714611


No what he's saying is he is poor.


I'm pretty sure you mean

> I didn't read the rules.


This guy knows his bed monster science. Listen to him!


You think I'm upset? Lel.


Hero always finds a parking spot right out front, too.


No names/ personal information here, guy. Reddiquette 101


Yeah, but then when you meet other boats at sea, you have to let them pass first.


I just got done feeding my gf my dog's semen. Your a faget!


holy shit that's my name and im a balloon guy. people are gonna be sooo disappointed in me now.


your counting skills are 1337


He's 70. It's unlikely that his parents are even alive.


You're a fucking faggot.


Just goes to show you, there's a little good in everybody.


He made those toys suffer. He was evil.


Surely, You'd at least make the effort to pull over as your car breaks down? Not just get out and pop the boot in the middle of the motorway?


Wow mate you are one salty guy aren't you


You're not considering the millions of women that would be honoured to have sex with a no shower world record holder.


The whole thing reads like a poorly written troll designed to incite.

Bad bait at best.

Hope you haven't bitten.


Semen is an anxiety reducer


Get rid of accounts like this!!!


Just walk down this dark, secluded alleyway with me.


I used to link to comments by SupermanV2 like you, but then they took some marrow from my knee!


Initially, it was an energetic pursuit, but eventually I did develop a deep compassion for animals.  I'd eat a burger, and want to go to sleep. I started for energy. And it has served me well.


>  such an amazing creature

Why is it so amazing?

Wow, thanks for downvoting a legitimate question... asshole subreddit.

Ah I get it. You all think it is amazing because you are sat on your asses on reddit all day. If you actually go the fuck outside and meet an animal, you might not think they are so amazing.


You told your mom...?


The tag system has never been helpful, and will always be abused. In my opinion it's pointless and needs to be reworked or removed.


Pretty sure this guy gives a fuck. You can't learn to dance like that without giving a fuck.


dsfaiGLFIOUYGEFeaekjfhnf34t34qqwdui1yG3O86YFGD
Edit: My blind cousin was trying to say "Yes."


Before anyone loses their shit it's worth noting that they are good friends. So no harm done, just some fun.


False, I went with my girlfriend.


I remember back before 9/11 when we still called them French boners.


Personally I want to know which jackass email on the Follette team to send my own legal letters too.


If I was your dad. i would have named you Owen


And people defending the rape scene want to see Laura Croft get raped. Many have stated they don't care if it makes victims experience their rapes all over again, in flashbacks.

Are they bad people too? If so, you finally get the fucking point.

If you think I actually want to see anyone get raped, you're living in a fantasy world.


T-rekts

edit: thanks for the first gold stranger!


Holy shit what the fuck did I do to deserve this many downvotes.


>supernipples

You must promise to only use your powers for good, not evil


>  he said losing her has **taken** a lot from him and he feels restless.

Taken 4: Back from the Dead


It's his fault for not knowing when to stop


So do you have anything to actually ask me about myself? Or are you just into being a uncultured dick? Cuz that's a really shit hobby.


I guess you could say you were trapped?


No, I'm being realistic. You are not going to change the behaviors of others. No matter what you try or do you will be seeing this. Rather then go cry in a corner you can either ignore it and toughen up and not quit the game because a few people hurt your feelings or just not play (spend time online). Also how am I blaming the new guy, just trying to give some advice to them.


They're called country clubs.


You just took the time to write 114 words about my "terrible" prologue.

Check and mate.


According to the article I read, it's not the first time he's done something like this. We're talking about a guy who  REALLY dislikes mascots.


SRS hasn't blackmailed or doxxed anyone.  I dare you to prove otherwise.


（╯°□°）╯︵  ʎnƃ‾ʇɐɥʇ‾ƃuıǝq‾sǝʌol

But you couldn't save yourself!


You clearly have never been to a prison. This is sensationalizing of one of the worst prisons in America, dipshit.

I have a lot of friends who are correctional officers and they spend most of their days yelling at prisoners to stop acting like babies and complaining about how much their backs hurt because of the beds they sleep on.

Idiot.


What do they call The Hunger Games in France?

Battle Royale with Cheese.


Sorry i havn't ment to offend anyone. If it's any conselation i'm actually black.


You better watch your mouth, or I'm going to let your dad die...


I guess you could say you're worried about the imminent punzer-strike, huh?


I used to sit In church as a kid and think "I could run up and punch the priest in the face right now if I wanted to. "


god's work son, god's work. (I'm an atheist)


I know that.  I prefer to be outraged.


I laughed way too hard at this.


RIGHT! I think she looks fucking awesome.


Yes, it actually does. Shut the fuck up with your bitching and go lick your dog's ass. If you don't like it, downvote it and move on. That's the whole premise of this site. If it didn't belong on the sub, it wouldn't  have 400+ upvotes and on the rise.

Also, if this shouldn't be here, then Thug Life Magic and several other videos that helped make this subreddit what is today wouldn't exist.


As long as he didn't take the sticker out of the library.


I know haha there's like an angry mob downvoting all of my comments on this post. It's actually pretty funny.


Dildo one went down your throat, dildos two and three went up your ass, the vial of tears shattered in your jeans, cutting your femoral artery, resulting in bleeding out.


It appears this comment is cursed, don't reply to it guys!


I hope you used a throwaway for this spicy confession.


How come whenever I say that I get downvoted into hell?


The sad part is that Dez coming onto the field with no helmet on screaming at the refs should have been a 15 yard penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct. Game was complete bullshit.


Yea i mean its not like they are going to punch each other in the face tomorrow... god forbid the touch each other


Here you go!

http://imgur.com/xQ3NC


Just because you tell me to shut up doesn't mean I have to shut up. And adding a "fucking retard" at the end think you'll persuade me even further NOT to shut up?

I think *you* sir, is the fucking retard.


How many Asian souls do I need to consume to absorb this power?


prolly not tbh iv seen more adorable puppies just sayin :/ downvoting u because your probably lying

**edit: downvotes, really?**


I dont trust your tequila based on your username.


I love how stupidly slow reddit is at picking up on the historical basis of A Song of Ice and Fire... You know who the Lannisters remind me of? The Lancasters! Holy shit, better go post a TIL I bet no one else knows that (/sarcasm).


I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one fapping.


Sorry for being a dick, but the word you are looking for is choose. Chose makes it sound like "if they chose the rape". I am only saying this cause I had a hard time understanding myself.


Anyone who says "it's just a dog" about their own pet should not be a dog owner, end of story.


Thanks for the visceral response. It clearly means so much and you have not flipped out over a reasonable question.


Yes, I'm being extracted from my location as  I write this.


>It's called, "I could just flip a coin, butt fuck simplicity."

FTFY


You actually play the games you buy during the sale? I might be doing it wrong.


um... some guys that age are dtf.  I know I was.  I didn't get laid, but I sure as fuck tried.

Were you not DTF at that age?  now, I'm not saying DTF old people, but DTF in general.


Welcome to management, where you don't do anything but make sure people do stuff.

The reason he does this is so that you know what soandso has to say about derpiddy derp the derp; so that if shit goes towards the fan, Kujuh's on the line, not DumbAss.


Newberry Award for best Short Fiction.


That *does* look more like giraffe bread!


nah rich gang

only thing fading into irrelevancy is lil wayne


aaaaand this is the creepiest thing I've read on this thread.


As is quite clear on the side bar, it is *against the men's rights movement and mister*, not men's rights.


"meow that was a tall or a grande? okay so meow we have a grande non fat latte? perfect! meow looks like that'll be $3.45! you may meow drive up to the window! have a nice day meow!"


That's code for you WERE hot...still need proof that those boobs are real. Snow. White. Boobs.

jk I'm sure you're still the fairest.


Zero hands, but ten tickles.


i imagine feminazi tea parties to be much like some barbaric klingon right of passage


I dialed 0 and suddenly my house got repossessed.


Why should a rights movement exist, then, if the ways group A is treated favorably over B doesn't materially worsen the quality of life of members of group B? If members of group B aren't actually worse off, why are they uniting?


thank you for typing that so I didn't have to and could type this instead


I've just vanished without a trace
I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow
I'll be back in an hour or so


And that super douchy denim arm band


Except it was. People are saying it was knocked out, which it was, but he still took too many steps after regaining possession. He steps after a gather step, which is a travel.


Thin catheter, in the vagina instead of urethra, maybe, maybe not.


im not negative he is just typical american retard. presenting his opinions as facts


"Come on Wilfried Bony. Scores a goal for Money"?

Edit: Thanks for the gold kind stranger!


I was writing about us all.


"To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women."


No, I think he's asking why it's interesting/funny/worthwhile etc.


She said she was thirsty.

And cold.


Why are YOU being so obtuse?

"I accept her for who she is,"

but

"I want her to change her behavior to make me happy."

We know literally nothing about this situation OTHER than those two facts.


Because they're power-tripping morons. It's amazing how little power it takes to corrupt the small-minded.


Every downvote of my post below is proof that I am right. Reddiquette says don't downvote just because you disagree.

But you did.


People get weirdly self conscious and evasive when they're injured in a way that they don't understand or are really afraid of. A person can know, 100%, that they are seriously fucked up, but still not do anything about it because they don't want other people to know.


It was a fucking catch. And yes Green Bay did drive it down our defense throats.

I was not superbly confident even if it was correctly ruled a catch that we would of won.


*Oh hi cutie, I see you're in SAN DIEGO, CA 92123 UNITED STATES too*

EDIT: So I see a lot of you are in SD...


Why isn't there a tl;dr here?


"Oh hell, I was right."

YES


I'm just saying, that's like verbatim what the wiki article above says.


Wolverine would so beat Nightcrawler. Kurt is very predictable with this teleporting and needs to see where he teleports, wolverine would predict his next location soon enough and claw that motherfucker.


i dont know why this was downvoted. this is probably the best advice given in this thread


They were having a seminar though, can't let shit like that slide...

/s


And so it was that it's still fucking stupid to say cake day and everyone sound like a giant asshole everytime they say it.


While this is true, programming can often be like telling a guy to tell a guy to tell a computer what to do.


I'd advise that you look up the definition of racism before you throw it around.

People were being prejudiced and spreading stereotypes, but it wasn't racism.


I'm thinking them all with Joe Pescis voice from goodfellas


You're just mad you got smashed 2 years in a row in the title game.


The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good, _motherfucker_ - Samuel L Jackson


Well, nobody really calls a "single cell" a baby.


        ^##^,
       /ಠಠ/##
      (__/ ##_   ___
         |    ```   `\
         \   /  /    |\
         || /_,-\   / #
         |||     |||
        //_(    //_(


Niggers? On my internets?


Dating my daughter
Not Joking


Seemed to me the ied made a small ditch in the ground and the tank was going about 15-20mph and bounced out of the hole.


Reminds me of when a bartender once asked me, after I had asked for a shot of whiskey, why I'd want one of the last few shots in the bottle. She reasoned that those last sips were without alcohol as whiskey was only 35% (or whatever it is).


Are you implying god invented the arbitrary number of months/days we assign to the calendar, that isn't universal?


Ramses just... Just gtfo, honestly. Go join vargas somewhere and just... just... I can't even. I love you Ramses.


As an anime fan and pedophile. I kind of agree with hoseking. I not sure i would go that far.

 Either way the guy gives Anime fan and pedophile a bad name. You know how hard it is to give pedophiles a bad name? Either way I glad he is off the street.

As a side note the girl that in the pic is a bit off [NSFL](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59lksZsC5YE).


It's too late. You hurt your brain's feelings. Have fun dying.


Of course there are a lot of factors involved, but the bottom line is that I am interested in seeing if there is someone out there with whom I am more compatible.


I think you just gave a game review of a baby.

Here's an upvote.


That's pretty funny coming from a guy named "Lawnmower kitties"


Thats when you unleash the bees


> Brought to you by the committee of people hit by basketballs.
> Never again.


that flag was definitely on him though.  He jumped the line before the snap.


I feel like normal people with good heads on their shoulders thinking farther than a week into the future do NOT release videos of them having sex onto the internet.


Win what? The hunt for Cthulhu's next wife?


Oh god Valve keep fucking up with the most basic, foreseeable shit all the time, every patch.


Unless the dude is ugly, then it's creepy.


stop watching competitive sc2 you fucking casual scrub. people like you make me feel bad for liking esports.


/r/firstworldproblems is over there --->


Everyone is not playing by those rules. We just happened to get more attention here recently. I'm still unsure why Sloopo was singled out, when you can visit the front page of reddit and see several examples of what Sloopo is being burned for.
But, like I said waaaaaay down in this thread somewhere,
We'll make better efforts to cite sources and provide summaries, no problem.


This is what im (kinda) talking about!

I need a train set and an elaborate rope set-up


Ugh... you h8 to see this.


Millennials.

Edit: Haha. Hey, Millennials! Downvoting gets you nowhere in the real world.


That seems a bit low. [Most centaurs today are 3/3](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=279993&type=card)


Now that I'm on my computer and not my mini phone, I see you are correct. And don't call me dude, bro.


No. I gave a condition and detailed the truth. I didn't assume one thing. I said if you're still friends with him, then you have not moved on.

I didn't say I knew anything for sure. But now I'm wondering why you thought I did.


It doesn't need to be an emergency. If you have to go, you have to go. It's not a fucking privilege to empty your bladder.


Plumkin78 the parent of the daughter. Plumkin78 told the daughter that her dad died. Then called the father's mother to tell her that her youngest son died.


You can always tell non-drug users by their terminology.  No one says "I'm going to use some cocaine"


My god are we still upvoting "hooman"?

Shit makes me cringe.


He really is. The sweetest, most genuine guy I know.


Because killing unborn persons is cool and hip and progressive.

/s

Edit: Suprise! SRS and pro-abortionist downvotes. Good to see thios part of reddit is just as full of murder supporters as usual.


Did anyone else think that was going to be an embarrassing boner story?


Obama is fixing the economy? Really?

Just because the other guy is worse, doesn't mean Obama is actually accomplishing anything at all. He wants to, sure.. but he hasn't done anything called "fixing the economy".


Finding office fans is like finding air, or the ground, or your own hands.


Fuck you. Some of us actually care about freedom.


I figured that out as soon as I started playing Civilization.


Because it's an echo chamber where men are being oppressed.


Jump in front of him

Sue


It's a very different form of racism, and it's not fair or right to look at that comment from the perspective of the US. It's different.


Good luck selling back last years edition, fuckers! - Prof. Asshat


I personally dislike how they mod there, but mods generally make the decisions they feel are right for their community, so, meh. I was around for that whole meltdown and the /r/ainbow split, and the entire thing was... unpleasant to watch.

/u/RobotAnna, what say ye?


Yep, and many were victims of rape.

And lets not forget the [hundreds of bodies of babies found in a septic tank in Tuam.](http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/tuam-mother-and-baby-home-the-trouble-with-the-septic-tank-story-1.1823393) I wouldn't be surprised if this isn't the only incident of a mass cover up in the form of unmarked graves within the country.


Also mark this post as NSFW or remove the swear word.


"Jimmy, why'd you search for 40-year-olds banging horses?"

"Uh... don't badger him, son... I'm sure he's very sorry for what he's done. No need to be judgmental. And don't mention this to your mother."

"Come on, dad. You grew up on a horse ranch. You should know how messed up that stuff is."


Is Obama so bad that they need Giggles the Smirking Clown to pinch hit the final two debates?

Ryan clearly one the debate by making Biden look like a prick.  Can't wait for November.

November is a VERY handsome month, where fall colors are generally in season (handsome pun inteneded); however a fantastic tan is ALWAYS in season when you are as handsome as I.


What was most fun _last_ week?


I have my opinion. You have yours.


I was just talking to someone the other day who said they never let their kids watch Mr. Rogers, because he was weird and creepy.
She also insulted his sweaters.

I can now only assume that person is a sociopath who tortures small animals.


I used to get so completely ahead of everyone that it really doesn't matter, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Downvoted: not original content and unattributed. Here's the oldest version I found of it (from August 2008):

http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?p=6573513#post6573513


What? You can't get Malorne before GvG. The post is from Dec.10, GvG was released on the 8th.


**BOLD SO EVERYONE CAN READ AND UPVOTE MY JOKE**


I dunno what you guys are talking about.


Reddit can be reasonable, even if biased.


Watermarks are used to show that you own whatever it is on.


But pretty much *all* stupid people have children.


"Everyone that I know would consider a 3 year long relationship long term"

[](/bepislaughingatyou "Is this highschool?")


"WHAT DO YOU MEAN *TITANIC* SINKS AT THE END?"


Does nigger pussy taste like fried chicken?


God damn I would be a broke ass guy on the street for some Giordano's right now. I'm about 600 miles from sweet Chicago pizza goodness.

 Nice of you to give up your pizza, though, I would have kept it for myself.


Party of one tonight, sir? Or are we waiting on more?


First result in google image search 'bowser tattoo'.

http://www.slipperybrick.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/bowstat.jpg

"I've given this tattoo.... some thought."


My take on texting + driving is this.

Dont text + drive if you have the coordination of Michael J. Fox


No. I'm an 85 yo woman with poor eyesight.


You're an idiot for believing that crap, jesus is lord.


No, don't worry, I bought him dinner, a nice pinot grigio, put on some smooth jazz...let's just say he was pretty ready for the finger bangin.


this is mechy84 being submissive and not funny. You don't "crap science" you crap things like...shitty jokes.


No, that sounds too logical. Guess again. And this time, make it interesting.


I think not, this about the spread of mentos and diet coke. The spread of this meme (Dawkins intepretation) starts slow, then grows exponentially and then decays after it peaks.


Advanced wafer cone warfare.


If one of the finest persons you knew is the one that went to murder babies in their own country, I'm actually afraid to find out who are the rest of the people you know.

Edit: 28 downvotes? Is that all you can do? No matter how many you won't convince me that soldiers aren't assholes by downvoting me and saying that they are just following orders. What a bunch of fucktards.


jesus christ listening to anakin and padme...i was ready to go samurai and fall on my fucking lightsaber


This is one of the most banal and insipid sentences I've ever read.


**Make this shit happen**


Ohh come on. No spoilers please! :)

And have a piece of my cake since its my birthday on reddit!

Edit : Should have known better then to post on this subreddit. Gj downvoting someone  who mentions his cakeday. Bunch of entitled douchebags


I raged like a bro out of hair gel reading this.


Downvoted for ignorant joke :\


Science says that eventually the [Sun will die](http://www.mhhe.com/physsci/astronomy/uspeak/sept_00_uspeak.mhtml). Now we know where it's energy is being drained.


I rooted for <insert rival> in their <insert non-existent bowl game>  #sarcasm!
Haven't seen this post before!


Nothing gets past you, does it? All explanatory and shit!


Yet think how many *more* Afghani families had just as bad a day, that very same day.   And they didn't even invade some other country.


Not anymore. My plan worked. Happily married with two kiddos


ERMAHGERD, DERTHCLERK


Oooooooooooo I'm telling


I hope i didn't offend you.


~~*~lik dis if u cry errtim~~*~


And even then, if you remember, no one knew he was running into Mania for the title, they literally said that like a week before xD

Edit: I love how me defending Bryan, and saying he is actually a draw but was just misused is getting downvoted so much! this is hilarious xD


Brad Pitt's double lost.


I imagine a gun shot inside a car is even louder compared to shooting outside, but I assume you're just nit picking things to call him a coward.

-50? You justice boner circlejerk idiots sure love to bandwagon and assume. "*THE GUY WORE A BALLCAP FACING FOWARD?!? THE FUCKING COWARD!!!*"


You're in Houston too?


It really REALLY did.


Jesus loves me, this I know. My working legs tell me so


Fuck off.

Don't make wild accusations like that and expect not to be pressed on the source of your bullshit.


How appropriate, you look like a cow!


you already know what it says you massive idiot


I'm only about 3 comments in and it scares me that you had to specify non-violent.


Can you stop talking to me? I'd rather shove a Soulja Boy cd up my ass than continue talking to you.


Ironically this picture is the first one to make me laugh out loud


he cheated and only did the final mission people just share checkpoints so they can bitch out and not go through the actual game


Good thing I don't do things in Kentucky.


decreased revenue != increased spending


I like that everything he says can be prefaced with "...a great man once said."


>If you don't like the humor, fine. You don't have to hate it.

I hate terrible, unfunny, vastly overrated things. I can't help it.


there's a few places in the middle east where i think women are sold. not sure the going rate though


In all fairness. It's just how people speak. I know why there, their, they're annoys people (it throws you off the sentence you're reading) but must have/of could have/of should have/of are ones I've never understood.

Unless you're an English teacher or have a degree in English or something such as that.


I was waiting for the dog to come in and bark him to death.


You're gonna suck cock in hell! 💩


"ARGGG IM THE FLYING DUTCHMAN"

"That's it! This ship belongs to the Red Baron!"


Nah. That was a childish response to a pretty awesome comment and I'm the one that's out of line? Nah.


You were like a tiny investigative journalist.


Not that quick, just 16tick.


No, I think most of society is in agreement on this matter.


OH SHIT WICKED SICK BURN BRO


I guarantee there are no evil children. That's a real fact jack.


Makes me feel like a bitch for sitting on my bed browsing reddit.


It's still stealing the joke and playing it off like its OC


Most every processed drink has some kind of vegetable or canola oil to make it go down smoother.   Ensure is basically milk protein,  a multivitamin and canola oil.


Get downvoted cockbreath.


My favorite version yet:

A native American boy runs up to his father, the chieftain, and asks "daddy, how do we get our names?" The chieftain says, "it is tradition in our tribe to name our children according to the first thing the mother sees after she gives birth.  that is why your brother is named Prancing Deer, and your sister, we named Singing Sparrow. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"


sorry, I'm not black.

one.. two.. three..


\*science f**r**iction


You also have a special place in hell.


I am stealing this and writing a screenplay.  Just thought you should know.


Bwhahahaah, try finding a woman geologist or engineer.


Don't you dare pull a Digg on us!


Kynan is just making his daily drama


Correction! ...if *schooling* didn't get in the way

"Don't let your schooling get in the way of your education." - Mark Twain


Came here to say exactly this (and help)  seems like I need to do neither.

And yet I am still commenting...

/edit
Not sure why all the downvotes, I was agreeing with the above, and was planning on explaining Blington but people already beat me to it.

Whatever, I can afford to lose some imaginary internet points.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/4098973/rain-downvote-o.gif


Well that's my good deed for the day, back to spamming.


It's sad that Naughty Dog has turned into an interactive movie studio. I miss when they used to make games.


Like /u/jumpstart91 suggests...

Print two copies, frame them, and give them to your Dad and Uncle as gifts! Maybe put the print out in a lightbox and include a loose feather inside. :) It might make a really cool memento.


No I'm not, I'm making a facetious parallel to draw attention to the inanity of the argument. I shouldn't have to explain that to you. Basic reading comprehension isn't complicated. Can I know which educational system failed you?


Man, you're gonna love it when you discover frontboob.


Deeply sorry for not meeting the expectations of your preferences.


Dale, we literally have never done any of those things.


Let me guess, you're one of those people that think people with birth defects are "beautiful" too?


Not sure if you're a kid making a joke but...If you're anywhere around her age, you saying "grown-ups" "wtfrage" and "gf" is much worse than her liking Twilight


That's a stupid comment.

EDIT: Wow, reddit. 40 downvotes? Are you saying that all judges drink and drive?


"I- It's not like I cared that you went missing or anything.  Baka~"

\- Obāma Barakku


Dont' ever, ever use that.  This is for your own good.


Don't worry, man.  I was uncool before it was cool to be uncool.


Eww gross you had a weird boner while holding your own baby! Baby boner baby boner!!!

Edit: why the downvotes? Guy had a baby boner


**FUCK YOU DISNEY FAGGOTS AND THESE LONG ASS FUCKING LINES.** **NO** ***FUCK YOU*** **MICKEY I DON'T NEED YOUR BULLSHIT RIGHT NOW**


That's...what it is.


>Hegemonic Libido

I'm naming my band this


Are you aware of the United Nations Mandate on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples? Any action, whether violent or non-violent, which has the effect of displacing the majority indigenous people or to make them a minority in their homeland is called genocide.


If you picked any track other than Rainbow Road then shame on you.


They have a gem, maybe try spreading out your mines instead of clumping into small traps?


LOL what a good friend, giving you the haunted room to sleep in.


This is /r/Islam not /r/atheism where all the religion bashing happens.


Hell, I'd go to $10 if they hold onto it for me.


It could have also been from a public toilet.


If you've left your tree up until August or so you may as well just ride it out until December rolls back around...


>you rude fuck.

That's pretty counter-productive, isn't it?


Yeah, this doesn't sound unhealthy at all.


Looked more like your mother's dildo.


He specifically said he was not creepy.


This is the first time I've visited this subreddit. I've learned that I am cancerous, and should destroy myself before I learn why I am cancerous.


I really hope the lawyer responded "Okay...a simple 'wrong' would have worked just fine".


People swear constantly when their feeble minds can't find a way to relate their thoughts without resorting to their most basic, knuckle-dragging grasp of human language.  As an adult I'm tired of hearing it.  It's like we're all still in middle school trying to sound cool.  You sound like an idiot.


Did you realize the [open your eyes](http://i.imgur.com/qD0WJ.jpg) and [open your mind](http://i.imgur.com/UztwZ.jpg) loading pictures at least?


He announced to the class that everybody got 4 bonu points... So sorry to dissapoint


12 year old motorolla flip phone. It says "Cingular" when I turn it on. Now get off my lawn

EDIT:The phone is the [Motorolla T720](http://cellphoneforums.net/phonedb/images/Motorola_T720_CDMA_1.jpg).


OK, Sunderland and Toronto are top level, you all aren't crazy.


MSNBC headline: OBAMA IS OFFICIALLY AMERICA'S SAVIOR, TURNS COTTON PAPER INTO FOOD!

yes, we're aware cable news is biased.


**boobies**

I'm just trolling at this point


I'm 100 times more interested in this comment than I am the Presidential debates.


it was on the front page, i dont look at subreddits before clicking on links. dont be a cunt.


Tina Fey should show up naked.

There, I had a better idea.


Thanks, before you made it really bold I couldn't tell where your joke was, but now that it's the biggest, darkest text on the page, I can see yours much more clearly than everyone else's post and upvote you a lot.


For fucks sake Jeff.


wow did you just write that huge fucking rebuttal? and you're saying the other guy works for lance? i guess we know who you work for.


For a second there I thought you meant that you cleaned yourself up a week later.


Bleach the anime is garbage and a money grab.


The bar is really shooting up on both quality and effort for novelty accounts.


I'm sure the OP understands the concept of child soldiers.  Please don't write analogies like they're *literally* five.  It makes it harder to understand and loses a *lot* of the circumstances and nuances.  Analogies should be well-formed and tactical, used sparsely only when necessary.


Aaaaaaand I'm done with reddit for the day


Don't worry - mommy will be there with her spritzer bottle 4ever.


I am from r/all and I have no idea what's going on here.

Edit: Not gonna lie, I knew exactly what was going on here and lied for the karma.


You can suck my dick for these reason(s):

-You're a fag

Suck my cunt I have all the karma in the world


And a pissed off cop.


You mean national communist radio


Just check your Spam box


Ugh.  No one cares, you sick faggot

EDIT:   Are you people not completely repulsed by a man who talks about 18 inch double dildos up his ass?  I have no problem with gay people but this is fucking nauseating


As a scientist whose research ties into global climate change it dumbfounds me when people argue with me on climate change. I try to explain these things to them as succinctly as possible and back up my views with references; a huge amount of people trust the talking heads at Fox News more than the actual climate scientist.


No I wouldn't.  I am not a poor.


Man, all those Asian cats look the same.


You should reward yourself with some meth. (I realize that this is insensitive so I apologize in advance if this offends you)


They break up.  His next GF sees his dick.

"No, no.  I *named* my dick Jessica."


Is anyone else tired of this creepy fagot always being on the front page?


Damn, who thought pirate alphabet jokes would have so many possibilities.


You are a loser.

The fact you stay with a man who is that ignorant and fearful of life, is a mark against you.

You should be ashamed, and embarrassed, you know better.


"I am just SO ANGRY that my room is filled with colorful balloons."


If the refrigerator in that picture were able to open properly, then the size of the kitchen would not be an issue. Therefore, the problem is unrelated to the size of the kitchen.

Come on, Reddit. It's not difficult logic to follow.


That's a bit of an overreaction to Yahtzee, dude.


>that's just my opinion

And shitty sense of humor, and probably some subconscious misogyny.

[edit] Man you fuckers get so buttmad about women it's amazing.


I misread that as "My parents don't know I'm adopted."

And, to be honest, I think that might be a better story.


Noooooope, not gonna delete it either, I say what I think and having someone look above you is really annoying.


Oink Oink Motherfucker!


I was just showing that I was impressed. Super specific topic, it's surprising to me that such a detailed gif explaining it exists.


Hipster manchild that makes shitty indie games that reddit and other shitty gaming communities (gamefaqs, kotaku) cream themselves over.


I think that's the first time I've seen "I was raped" and "xD" in the same sentence.


ever think you are just being an asshole to an innocent girl who just got out of a relationship? That is what drives people to suicide. Hope you get shot in a movie theatre.


They're all guys, and the one I decided to ask figured out I was drunk.  I think he's looking for me now


And we heard him speak, when?


Yes, in the hearts and minds of the people.


your reply dissarmed me. I do not know how to react.


This man is correct, i used to work in the factory that makes that mirror, in adelaide australia.

Those numbers are just die numbers and mould numbers, they will not lead you to one car. Sorry.


Hes being downvoted because some people actually like freedom and not banning shit just because someone else doesn't like it.


Sorry bro, I can't be held responsible for how you manage your time.


I used to have growed up peekchurs, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


'Sexers of reddit, what's the sexest sex you've ever sexed?'


A guy who wrote about Elves, Dwarves, and magic....is a Christ-fag?


I don't think I'd want to be the guy in a giant mouse costume during a drive-by shooting.   Seems like I'd just be worth more points :(


I'd rather they fixed the game.


They should install a cement platform they can aim for.


Media is a science and an art. Media is a power. Media is control.

Nothing is a mistake. Nothing is unintentional. Ever.

There are dozens of techniques that can be used to make or destroy people. You, are not uninfluenced. You are vulnerable too.

Here you are, explaining what is obscene.


usually when we take out wisdom teeth under anesthesia it is a conscious sedation with a mixture of Versed and Fentanyl. Most people are completely responsive the entire time, but are quite out of it, and usually have no recollection of the procedure.

-dentist


if the gears all go in the same direction they would rotate freely no gridlock here


"get the message" oh shut up, lame puns are MY job!


i support the perpetuation of this scam. when you show up with your non-apple laptop to a client meeting you give off the "clueless idiot who pirated photoshop" vibe. when i show up with my macbook pro i give off the "professional designer" vibe. umad?


Right on Grue.  These people think you get everything you want in life without making sacrifices.  Fucking cowards and slaves.


am I the only one who thinks its cool the cop put himself between OP and the Pitbull?


Also a metaphor for many Christians I know. edit: I didn't know there were so many christians on Reddit


All i can think is why do ADCs need AS/AD per level, they build AS/AD anyway.


Of course he was! Doesn't mean I deserve downvotes


Just imagine the first time he knew he was about to have sex.


But Kurt's face was all over the floor......and wall.


I'd put in my 2 weeks, thank everyone I worked with and treat them to lunch. I don't get the "ooooh im gonna rub it in your face" attitude. I guess some people just have no class or manners.


It just collects welfare


As a member of the 'drink too much' group I would like to again apologize for puking in your washing machine.


I didnt even know what show it was from or who was in it.  I could hear the bitch winging in my head and thought it was funny as fuck


That's actually really great, rest of these are just intense movies that would be funny to watch with muppets but this actually changed the dynamic of it


My point of contention was that she *wasn't* waiting on me, not that she was waiting on him.

Edit: I said this in the original thread:

> I wouldn't mind this if she didn't just wait on him, but that's what she does. If I ask her to get me something she will pout/argue/tell me to get it myself.


I never meta-meme I didn't like.


But, but for the club wielding Black Panthers at polling places is just fine with Obama's justice department.


I heard nipple twists run rampant at the factory.


How does no one here recognize a troll?


And there's a giant fucking gate there.


If you close your eyes and pretend, then yourejust having sex.


99X: "Wait, I haven't gotten to the good part."

Moruitelda: "I'm pretty sure you already said it."

Edit: It happened to me... My highest rated comment is about a man getting naked. The good news is its also about people high-fiveing.


If he's so great, why did he let her get raped?


Hell i wouldnt be surprised if he did right there


and remember how much fun it is.


Hello! Thank you so much for that, I looked out for you but never saw you :(
I really didn't see this coming and don't know what else I can say to you but thank you. I hope you had a wonderful festival too and I hope too see you there next year :)


actually one of the few things i actually laughed lately on r/funny


>three times a year


Yeah I totally agree with you. Guy above you is a wanna be karma whore. Bitch

Edit: geeeeezzz what the fuck. I love you reddit.


Or picked them up from the ground and said "No, you guys suck" Then throw them against the wall


It is a shame that I can offer you only one upvote.


And reddit goes wild!!!!


Oh, right. The followers of a concept that's existed for less than a century... How could I forget!


I think that would cut down on the silliness of two candidates just bickering back and forth annoyingly.


Was she a nigger? I'd bet anything she was. Blacks can get downright violent.


I only cry when I watch Iron Giant.


ಠ_ಠ
look of  disapproval...


"My story starts in Ninteen tickety two, we had to use tickety because the kaiser stole our word twenty."


Because of course you, as a cis person, are best placed to know about how trans women should feel about transphobia in an LGBT subreddit. Of course.


Upstanding citizens don't go around asking strangers for actual money, ever. You might ask for some coins for a parking meter or something, but not actual money.

If you needed money you wouldn't walk around your neighborhood asking for it, you'd use a credit card or call a friend/family member.

Congrats to the OP on a learning a $130 lesson.


I don't want to have this conversation over the telephone, partially because I'm rarely alone during this trip (sharing a hotel room with a coworker).  But I will have to talk about this soon.  But just saying 'it hurts' doesn't help either of us, it'll only hurt his self-esteem.


Ummm...  yeah pass on the nerve gear.


I think the only on playstation refers to the PS4, since technically only PS4 games are only on playstation.


I'm not sure hon. It was like a penis, only smaller.


Then you won't mind if I needlessly downvote you then?


Two And a Half White Men


So because he hasn't said he loves her, he's an overgrown manboy and she should ump his ass.... Great reasoning and logic behind this.


I agree. Lucky she dumped him now instead of after her crazy came out :)


Cry more little faggot. I don't enjoy /b/ so stop thinking I do faggot.


That is the most heartbreaking one-word reply I've ever read.


TIL: your eyes have to be open to use your sense of proprioception and jab a rib of a nearby body.


Ray, when someone asks you if you are a god you say "YES"


Facebook up, Delete the gym, and hit your lawyer!

edit: eesh, this was supposed to be making fun of that stupid saying.  Oh well!


1. Check post history to see if fat

2. Confirm fatness

3. Laugh and leave


Their punishment must be more severe. The best revenge is to call the towing company with the lowest yelp reviews. The scumbag predatory tow companies that extort people before returning their cars, and sometimes damage the cars in the process. Look for the worst stories, then unleash hell.


I wish I could be tough like you, person on the internet.


That costume is great. We should all give you a hand for your effort. Oh shit, did I just put my foot in my mouth?


I fail to see how that joke is appropriate in a sub like this. You should be ashamed.

EDIT: Well, that backfired.


Way to bail on your GF, dude.  When you realized the mistake did you just flop your head over and start snoring?


That doesn't really have anything to do with my post.  I asked if he had a source for people holding the On button with the force.

edit: feel free to downvote me, but follow reddiquette.  If you're going to disagree, then say why.


It was her. So rape was always on the table.


Here's hoping he doesn't.


A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, "I can't do this. I need water."

The man says, "I didn't know dogs could talk."

The horse says, "Me neither!"


If someone is unable to consent (ie, drunk or high or underage), and you have sex with them (that includes receiving a sexual act), you are raping them. Period.


Will you have a pregnant if I wont tell you the truth?


Jesus fuck. Can we not have old recycled, beat into the ground racist jokes in /r/blackpeopletwitter? Seriously, go anywhere else on reddit if you want jokes about black people not swimming


Is your friend Kim Jong Il?


I came here to say this


Because its a cheap POS and... oh nevermind, r/bicycling doesn't joke about theft. Downvote away.


I once bought an Abtronic. It's ridiculous. I mean, it works, in the sense that it electrocutes my abs, but still.


Yeah, most people who start and end conversations with personal insults do so to establish themselves as the better man.


In Reddit, least useful comments get most votes.


I used to have no depth, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


A friend of mine was seeing a guy for a few weeks until he picked her up one night to go to a movie and asked her if she was going to go back inside to put on some makeup.


Herd immunity is mostly a myth. Look up its history


Actually there are 3 sides to every story. What OP says happened, what the lady says happened, and then what *really* happened.


Trans women should be free to be who they are and receive full legal rights and protections, but it is a biological fact that they were born male. How is acknowledging that fact invalidation?


I wouldn't even be mad if this happens.


your are a disgusting piece of shit for comparing the jews to the attrocious actions of hitler. You really should be ashamed of yourself for even making such a claim.


Walk without rhythm and you won't attract the worm.


he didnt even make the map


Grandma has her attention on the awkward young man who seems to be recording this inconvenience on one of those fancy newfangled whatchamajobbers.


Jesus Christ would watch The Walking Dead and assume demon possession a.k.a the Devil is the cause of the epidemic.  It's ridiculous to modernize Christianity to make it less crazy seeming.  It's even more ridiculous to call someone else ridiculous just because they believe in the fundamental truth of what you believe in.


I'm guessing because she just finished doing her hair and makeup a few miles back.


R u guys trolling or Srs lol I've never seen a crow that struck me as intelligent
Edit: well fuck me for not knowing more about crows amirite? I for one, welcome our new crow overlords


The difference is the hobo makes more.


He means that purposely scaring the dog and laughing is cruel. I also dont think this is funny.
I will explain this differentely:
Would you want to be punched in the face and called a pedophile in front of your kids? Dont be such a pussy thats just a small punch for laughs. Ha ha.


I read that 3 times and have come to the conclusion that "had" is not a word.


Beat the living hell out of someone without knowing the situation, including kicking them while they're down and while your daughter screams in the car. What a fantastic example to set in front of your wife and child.

Horrible.


I am.  And I love it.


This guy here **literally nailed it.**

Edit: So I have negative the top guy's karma (-43 to 43).

Do people not get/like sarcasm or what.


Fucking fighter jets, Katy Perry riding a mechanical lion, a last minute pick to win the game, a goddamn fistfight at the end.  It is America in a nutshell.  If this doesn't sell you on the NFL, nothing will.  Y'all come back now, ya hear?


Wait a minute...you called that guy a faggot yet Reddit is all about supporting gays?


Impaler illegal immigrant confirmed.


I've seen quite a few planned parenthoods here,  am I missing something?


If I remember correctly, the chance of an hiv positive woman giving bitches to an hiv positive child without drugs is only something like 1/4. Most of the infection between child and mother comes from breastfeeding.

Edit:  as per requests, I'll leave bitches in there, obviously its supposed to be birth, I'm not sure how autocorrect did that.


Yeah, no wonder they write it in Hebrew, they would be ostracised by general society for saying those things.


Which means space for more Raisin Bran!


He's a pakistani so it's kind of a thing for them, no?

edit: welp this sub just can't take a joke about a controversial issue(In a thread about a satirical article no less). Muh feelz!


Daryl Davis: winning, off and on the street.


downvote for calling people fag.  fyck you


I used to think Kony was a person running for president because I saw Kony 2012 posters


No he had brown eyes, the sources you looked at are incorrect


I think everybody on the crew has seen it. Hilarious. There are a lot of fans out there who remix the songs. I've written a lot of the lyrics and it's beyond bizarre to see what they become from time to time.


There are some parts I don't agree with, like someone there said Hitler should've killed fat people not Jews. That's way too far for me, but they make really good points a LOT if you read those and not the "kill all fatties" people


I dunno girl, I'm pretty partial to s'mores.  But respect.


This takes place indoors, almost certainly not in a room with 33m-high ceilings. There is some kind of error in your assumptions.


And of course sign her up for cat facts.


He's not Turkish of course.

He's Bulgarian.

The Turks bought their gold medal for $1.5 million because the average Turk can't lift his ass out of a chair.


I'm wondering if it isn't a flatbed truck with a car loaded on it


**All of you are fucking virgin neckbeard faggots, now fucking upvote me or else.**


Duh, clearly you haven't watched jurassic park.


I think it'd be preferable for the world if he ended his life. Especially if he did it in some way that let his life insurance pay out to his family. They'd be better off without this sack of shit.


so she is both a dick and a cunt.
then she can go fuck herself.


Eh not really. A lot of LeBron drives should have ended in a bucket. They just didn't go his way


I'm not sure I have enough to significantly change a problem in society but I would like to see a lot more on evolution in our public school system. I think kids are being brain washed these days.


I think you've lost the thread.


Life is just one big "Fuck it! We'll do it live!" moment.


Then why are you at a wedding anyway?


Strangely enough, a valid answer to both questions...Im impressed.


And fuckheads like you are encouraging this behaviour by upvoting it. People like you have made Reddit far more shittier than it was a year ago. I hope your proud.


Seems like you already know the answer.


love comments of stuff that is incomplete or not in the full context


I once had to make pizzas at Little Ceasars with moldy green ham, at the time I was too young and dumb to know that the Nuremburg Trials firmly established that pizza cooks are legally obligated to refuse to follow orders that violate the Geneva Convention.


>Can you do anything at all?

I'm pretty good at fooling redditors.


not everything needs to be a meme


yeah, but you should probably make sure that your internet works before you queue for ranked...


If you record her, then you can dump and rape her.

Edit: Apparently there has been some confusion. That was a joke that happened to be in bad taste. In no way should anyone use this as their foolproof rape plan.


Well, there's the whole rape thing, and he comes off like an a-hole to me.


We really don't want to peak too early, so we have them right where we want them.


I thought it was salve.


Guys, she just works night shift as a graveyard security guard and they don't allow any none employees in after gate closing.


Dude long distance. She won't even know. We have a weird relationship. Its good but long distance is tough and not many ppl are faithful. Hell, I don't know what she is doing!


As a fat man, not fun. It fucking hurts!


I agree, how hard can I possibly get?


"Live with me if you want to come."


I spot a creationist!

THE WORLD IS OLDER THAN 4000 YEARS!


Fuck the wife.  She's enabling a budding psychopath.


Wow, you are extremely rude.  I don't keep my son sheltered in a plastic bubble but seriously?  I'm messed up because I don't want him paying attention when a character is being rude to someone else?  My son is 2, extremely susceptible to what he sees and listens to, so if I don't want him to start calling his friends "idiot" and "stupid" fuck me, right?


It's my dick in my dick.


hey slow down on the ignorance maybe he's ex like to be constantly touch. It would be more of a classic lack of communication.


Time Warner charges $5 a month if you want wireless.  The person on the phone told me I HAD to sign up for that or it wouldn't work.  Of course I said no, and as soon as the installer left, I unplugged it from my laptop and plugged it into a wireless router. It works fine.


Pink Floyd - Shine On You Crazy Diamond

edit: yes thanks wrong track. see below.

dont have to downvote me, cockgobblers


Puppies. But I don't want to be prejudiced against kitties either.


Seems like an awkward way to tell your parents you're gay...


And only for the cheap cheap price of freedom!

You too can get the fresh, pure goodness of noncommercialism!

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


>  He took advantage of you.

Oh please. She had sex with him of her own free will, then stole his fucking money. I'm tired of this "women are always victims and nothing can ever be their fault" ideology.


Hogwarts is a proper noun!


I think /u/Leopoldf was being sarcastic.


wow man...you....you are one hardcore nerd. I wouldn't want to run into you in a dimly lit physics lab. have an upvote and don't science me to death.


Im in high school, yes for us


Happy cakeday... you bastard.


Was that supposed to be a joke?

How about you try actually being funny next time.


Yeah, I think killing her mom was taking revenge a bit far.


Came here to say this! LOL


Cut him some slack, not every Redditor was on Reddit yesterday to see this.


Yes. It does not give me the feeling that I am somehow defective if it hurts far more than a little.


Yeah, teaching kids to shoot slow moving or slightly dishevelled people is *hilarious!*


It's too easy, I beat it with my left hand.


Yes you are. Downvoted.


One of my professors put two of his own books on the "required" reading list. He never even mentioned them in class. Fucking scumbag.


I don't know where it is. What's my incentive to go digging around in a boxes full of scripts?


*Also must be willing to share changing room with director*


It's a mixture of The word man and explain. We hate it because it's a man trying to explain something. We know he's being condescending becUZ we are in his head and can perfectly know when he's being patronizing lol


My dad is 36 years older than me and occasionally people think I'm his wife.


nah I decided only you.


"Old Man Peabody owned all of this. Had this crazy idea of breeding pine trees."


What rights don't gay people have? You are truly ignorant to compare the struggle of racial minorities, who are stereotyped on their state of BEING, as opposed to gays who are classified by their deviant sexual behavior.


WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME?


I see you're a smart one. Have a good day lurking through my social media!!!


I don't understand the mental leap being made that seems to connect "She's masturbating" to "SHE WANTS ME."

I'm physically uncomfortable just imagining someone purposefully walking in on me, I'm so sorry it actually happened to you.


Ha ha! ...enjoy your king.

In America, society determines its leaders by democratically-decided votes, not by nobility.


This. They had an insane amount of real life animatronic puppet dinosaurs.


So the problem is he is poor? What if he was 18 and working in a chip shop and on benefits

I didn't say anything about real love, only everybody here squawking how bad this is going to end without even knowing the full story. If her **father** thinks it's ok, maybe you should consider the possibility that you are in the wrong


> 1.) call her ugly 2.) call her crazy 3.) call me maybe


I was thinking the same thing you beat me to it bravo sir


Best response, "do you play mini golf?"


So now it's sony's fault? Do you think they'd renounce to a series that sells so much? Nintendo just offered more money and less development costs (that's actually the main reason MH3 was on wii, initially it was on ps3 but Capcom wanted to spend less money on development).


That episode turned Cartman from a relatively harmless asshole into a world-class psychopath.


Its a baboon from multiple poses, are you stupid?


to be fair, if you wear more than one wedding ring you may give the impression you are ok with a threeway


I'm so sad. My cousin said she pulled this out of a dog yesterday at her job. I really wanted the dog to have eaten a dildo. DAY RUINED


Sorry highschool drop out


His superhero name: ProcrastinatingSuperpowers Man


Pokemon is stupid game invented by an autistic person. There. I said it.


"Oh sweet, free gum!"


Can I take a ride on the downvote train?


As someone who works overseas for extended periods of time I do exactly what this thread mentions and for less money.

So that being said, I plan on doing it for 5 or so more years anyway. Put me down for $5mil please.


Your the retard that had to rebuild (and reinstall an OS) for a single game.  Thats beyond fucking stupid.


It's actually "Ashley", and the funny thing is that our creative design team had Ashe and Trynd marry because they both were from the north and had no idea that she was actually named after my wife (Ashe was one of the first characters we made).  So it was fate!


I am the citation, I lived there. Want more citations? Why don't you just do a quick google search for Texas School Board, or Bible Belt, and hit up the News section of google. You'll get all the citations you need. But I'm not doing that for you, it's three seconds of work for you to do it yourself.


Let's see if anyone remembers this


Yep. My daughter kicked the crap out of a girl who used the n word on her. Cops came round to investigate assault charges, left saying "good for you girl!".


He's not in a vehicle, he's on a fucking toy.


Came here to comment this

Source: http://i.imgur.com/wg5P7W2.jpg


*who are so much cleverer than I

*sorry*


Its hard. Its scary when my family says I've forgotten something, or tell me I'm somewhere else than where I presumed.


God, you're a sour bunch.


Please do so. Many shows now have extra content for the web. I imagine that your budget and schedule must be quite tight though.


Is this the birth of an epic, new meme?


woot. me and all the other 5.1 inch guys in the world rejoice when we read this.


That isn't really the point I was making, rather that when other mangers were using a back 3 the media rhetoric was that a back 3 couldn't work in the Premier League.  Rodgers has clearly shown that this isn't the case yet when another team uses it they get slaughtered for using a formation which doesn't work.


She can't spell, dump her.


Well that's shitty, I like Asians. Perhaps if America had more Asian immigrants instead of these other shitheads we wouldn't be turning into a 3rd world nation.


Name: OK
Chat -- Not OK: "GET THE FUCKING CAVERN SCUTTER ENERGIES YOU FUCKASSES."


NO. Michelle's face screams. "Why do I look like a horse? I'd be prettier if Barack pulled some domestice violence and did a number on me with a lead pipe, then ran a lawn mower over my face"

That's what her face screams. (Is it ok to call "that thing" a her though?)


If you want to get a man, stroke his cock.  If you want to keep a man, stroke his ego.


I guess nothing. But, if stupid memes go viral everyday, why not something uplifting for a change?


Have you recently fisted your own ass?


If it's official merchandise, I don't think so. The money goes to the show, which is a pretty good show for little kids. If I had a young daughter and she wanted to watch it, I'd let her. It teaches kids good moral values and it's sensibly written. That's why Bronies like the show. Since they're autistic, they're stuck in a child-like mind set.


There are certain stereotypes about American tourists being loud/obnoxious and generally disrespectful of other cultures. Things like this only stand to reinforce that stereotype.

As an American, I'm embarrassed. Their passports should be revoked for a few years.


Fuck you, nickelback is more like skyrim than cod


"I have no mouth and I must scream"


Fuck all you niggers who downvoted me.


well oiled, though.  Those tanned, oily wet cogs . . .


EVE is over a decade old. Yes, the graphics have been
updated, but it can run on most
PCs.


My parents have separate bedrooms, but theirs is because mom's work schedule means going to bed at 2 am while my dad is an insomniac/insanely light sleeper who gets up at 4.

Pretty sure they're telling the truth. Maybe. Most likely.


Here's one for you ;)


There is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.


fuck you captain obvious.


Damn, either she lurks here and she studied her shit....

TAKES NOTES, WOODY.


> epic win

^^^^^^W ^^^^^E ^^^^E ^^^E ^^O ^O ^^^^^^W ^^^^^E ^^^^E ^^^E ^^O ^O ^^^^^^W ^^^^^E ^^^^E ^^^E ^^O ^O ^^^^^^W ^^^^^E ^^^^E ^^^E ^^O ^O

[.](/user/overused-meme-alert "Severity level 4/5")


I'm hoping this means our President is going to use his second term to do battle instead of compromise.


The fact that it's limited to 'science class' is concerning.  If it turns out you have 'science class' rather than individual classes for physics, chemistry, biology, psychology, computer science a lot will make sense :/


It took a second to register with me that that wasn't you know, just a whopper. A turd, if you will.


It's a white knight circle jerk!


In my high school, the kid's weapon of choice was narrator. Go to an unused computer, type something in Notepad, repeat it, turn the volume down so it was just audible, turn off the screen. Then you would have a classroom that would inevitably go silent at one point, only to hear Microsoft Sam saying "I like fat cocks" over and over.


Lmao +1
A lot of the sugar is filtered out. But not too much! The flavor is kept. Man this shit is awesome. I'm such a lightweight that just one of these bottles is enough


Good Guy porn store owner.


legit dont care about "karma" lol


Muslims call them wives.


I only ask for the truth.   Tell us what the texts said verbatim.

Why do you object to the truth?


I've been to clothing optional beaches and well, the only people without clothes are people you don't want to see naked, and no, they are not using towels.


LOL!!! The comment paired with the pic so perfectly… can't stop laughing!!!!!!!


Unless you are Count Dracula. Then you look amazing.


hmm okay maybe there are some holes in that trail of thought the Sistine chapel is pretty I guess


Photo was taken with an iphone 5


Don't forget atheists and black people! Oh, and liberals! Better just name who and whatever to get the point across!


Pat, you are tight butthole. Other guy, total loose butthole. Workaholic references whenever you want, buddy. Let's get weird.


Oh yeah I forgot, I'm on the f7u12 subreddit. People here wouldn't understand real humor if it slapped them upside the head.


There also seems to be a larger message in this: never enjoy the act of punishing someone. In all of these cases, the escalation of the situation was a direct result of schadenfreude.

People wanted to watch these individuals burn because they had an excuse to enjoy it, and it got out of hand because for everyone except the victim, it wasn't real.


Wow, you are one giant fucking idiot.  Stop making gay people look like fucking whining infants, fuckbag.


Oh GOD. I remember really liking that movie. But then I watched this [part](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjDHye4Vmho) from the movie and just laugh my ass off.

EDIT: my most up voted comment. Thank you everyone and just dream. DREAM.


I imagine in that moment people might have thought...wtf?


He said "no I'm not"

Then he said "what's adopted?"

Didn't have the heart to explain


You just gotta get more gains bro.

And watch UFC.

Then you'll be super tough and no one will say anything.


and then call him a slut...and make him suck your dick.

It's not gay at all..just to show your dominance.

Oh also tie him up.


Wow, this is one stupid novelty account. As a **Reddit Gold** user I am using my moderation powers to report your post. Meanwhile, I ask ordinary non-Gold redditors to downvote such posts as they dont contribute towards a healthy discussion (-:


My racist uncle always referred to them as push-starts (dots), pull-starts (sikh), and woo-woos (native americans).


Keep it up :)
It's such a great feeling.
I've even started exercising to get healthier. You should join me!!!


Thank you, it is actually very fun to look through her bags in the bank and see all of her little polar bear pup pets and cute things she had that remind me of the good times. It's funny how much gaming can really have an impact and be a part of our lives like this :)


You were very direct, argued, and kicked her out of your car. That's not petty.


THEN MY WORK HAS NOT BEEN IN VAIN.


"Learn a vocabulary word from a pornstar" has been officially checked off my bucket list.


No, that's a high school level.


if you think calling people fems will make your dad less ashamed of you, keep it up.

you won't be successful, btw.


You should direct country music videos.


apparently I do. this is fun.


Anne Frankly I don't find them funny.

Guys are we really Goering to do this again?

I don't think nazi puns are Reich.

I hope this pun thread doesn't go any fuher.

You're all going to heil.

**OK THAT COVERES MOST OF THEM I THINK WE'RE DONE**


are you a dumbass? the plant cant produce oxygen quickly enough you would breathe it all up and suffocate...but go ahead and try im not stopping you stupid ass


Is that you John Wick?


This shit should be removed.

>Offbeat posts should be either: Funny, Weird, Sad, Strange or quirky news that's just....just offbeat

This post is none of those things.


And then he would proceed to play Fritzl in the basement for the next 24 years.


I used to actually LOL every single time, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


And I clean my room regularly as well.


Unless you're french, there shouldn't be any accents at all.


You forgot one bloat and two puckers.


And you both can go fuck yourselves.


The gloriousness of this fuck up is better than the lurking.


Racist username and spoiled daddy's boy? Wow, I never would've guessed.


Oh he probably just has an XBOX and thinks this is the way people say hello to each other.


**FUCK IT I DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT. DONT YOU TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK I AM ALLOWED TO DO.**

Now *Upvote*^ me, my little Minions.


What's ugly about these girls ? I just see 2 normal teenage girls.


Bah! Who cares for these women folk and their "feelings". Push it all the way in to the base! And damn the consequences.


don't talk about your penis. this is a car forum. that's gross and unnecessary.


Sounds like what religion should be


I linked to the whole page before you commented. Any more context, buy the book.


I saw that shit happen to a guy's finger. Peeled right off.

My first chef told me about a pastry chef who went to wipe her forehead....with a french knife in her hand. Sliced right across. Apparently she had worked 3 doubles in a row and brain wasn't working.


Look up David Irving's biographies. Or click here:

http://zioncrimefactory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/ZCF-KeithJohnson-ROTP_29may2012.mp3


"Skyrim is here to save us" I fucking lost it


He probably doesn't really like playing Durant, though


Yeah. It's roasted duck with asparagus in a Belgian cream sauce.


Why can I only give this one upvote? It's just not fair.


I guess he enabled smart casting


I see what you did thar


You are 16 and type personal letters, on an antique typewriter, to friends? Dude, you are everything we wanted T.Hanks son to be. Thanks bro.


False:  Watering down good whiskey, even on a hot day, is the pussy thing to do.  Not to mention is alcohol abuse.


Second article was genius.

"Dad you look tired, want to sit down?"
"Thanks, where do you have in mind?"
"Ben & Jerrys"

BOOYAH


I just wanted to stop and say that I think it's awesome you got that username.


Well I sure as hell wouldn't!

.

.

ever again.


Because they can step on the gas and display marginal steering abilities?

I mean, it looks like fun and all, but as long as physics states that it will work I would gladly volunteer to try it myself.


Griffin--you owe your fame to HORSE_COCK_JUGGLER. How does that make you feel?


So much rage... Still a better love story then twilight.


*Search Results for "Boobs": 262,738,543"*

That's a good idea, I'll check the database.

*Search Results for "Boobs" and "Vagina": 262,738,542"*

"Well that's odd..."


You're the General of the Horde..It's only fitting that your followers should be the strongest possible...I'm not into roleplay at all, and even I can figure that simple tidbit out..


Sometimes I get bored while fapping, and fap while I fap.


Proof it didn't happen.


Its been a planning nightmare over in /r/procrastination to get anyone together.


here's another mirror: http://i.imgur.com/yiuqB.jpg


"Oh my... my husband... he drowned 12 years ago... it was such an awful... "

"...hey would you just stand a little closer? Trying to make the front page with this!"


we have 5 months left on the lease and she is the one who chose the building.  I would gladly be living in a worse neighbor hood paying a fraction of what we are now but no, she wanted a building with a gym and a pool.  Why should I be forced to go broke because of her tastes?


They're just chillin'.


You are conditioned to believe that.

Many people from other cultures find it disgusting.


"I just returned from a Canadian tour where I opened for Miles Davis.......... Kilometers Davis."


Which is why I rarely ever post in truegaming. I mostly only read. Too much censors- and dictatorship from mods on powertrips. It's just not worth writing in here.


I dry off in the shower because that's where all the warm is. Once you open the curtain the arctic comes in and freezes your jimmies.


Get over yourself. It's not that funny. You're lucky someone paid it any attention at all.


What if they had outside help.. say a brother who happened to be an architect of the prison.


That is humorous.

Also, wy are people not upvotiong it? I have a feeling they don't know the literature well enough.


This sounds personal. Want to talk about it, buddy?


Rest assured - he's kids have many many  'shoes'


Answers are a luxury enjoyed only every now and then.  So early on, learn to love the questions themselves.


20+ lbs is obese. No matter how big the cat is.


Are you required to give back the brick when you get your refund.  From what little I can tell from the picture, it's a fine brick and you can make great use from it.


I'd like you to "delete your account".


oh shit someone's in my house better go to sleep!


...besides eating at Taco Bell.


I prefer riding the SLUT


Take note breast cancer awareness groups. I won't be tricked again into funding Planned Parenthood with my "breast cancer" donations.

Enjoy having no boobs.

Sorry.


I think gymnasts/dancers/fighters are great for this. Strong, flexible, powerful, good stamina... They are the ones who will win the zombie apocalypse.


Can't ban me here you got 5-1'd.

Deal with it.

Also that stagnant from the OP is from an article months ago from GSTL teamleagues.

Nice cover by reusing the same statement for a later article

FAIL


I thought I was having a stroke until I saw the username.


those things are not important - especially in comparison.


I would be MORE than happy to answer all of your questions personally, kind sir! I'm so pleased at your interest... if you could just give me an accurate 10 digit grid coordinate to your location, I will set up a meeting at your earliest convenience. Write back soon! :-)


I am not saying his opinion is wrong, I am saying his opinion has no reason to exist yet. There's no competing Flash actor.


I heard he was suicidal at one point, so he almost did something positive.


Because fuck nutrition and dental hygiene!


Home Alone 2 is the best. When he's tossing bricks and nailing headshots from like, 60 feet up.


I was drunk and he took advantage of that.


6 is pretty easy. 10+ starts to sting though.


He didn't do anything though? he just ran to the group which is also what Ronaldo did. Pretty funny to see clueless dickheads try to judge emotions and personalities based on 3 second clips


No it's still bitchin


Not act like a child throwing a tantrum?  Maybe act like a leader and an adult and rally the troops?


Or show a shred of concern for Oscar. Lovely squad they've got.


> start over from scratch

Downvoted for cliche'd thinking.


University of Maryland, College Park.  A lecturer in the Department of Astronomy there.  A non memorable moment for people of the Earth since it was visible primarily from the Southern Hemisphere.


why are patriot "fans" so fucking mad all the time


Obviously the faster, cheaper option would be to declare war on Mars so we can go liberate it.


~~Shitty crayon drawings are white people mixtapes~~

Shitty crayon drawings are not white people mixtapes. I have learned a thing today


Dad must have lost a bet to Mom.


I don't understand why you insist I'm acting about my faith. I am true to myself and my beliefs.


Same with your asshole.


And that is bad, why? Reddit is for sharing you piece of shit.


Good thing we are telling anonymous strangers this, instead of, you know, our partners.


He's great in most other ways, and the honesty is refreshing, even if it's jolting at times. Also, he's already too big down there...


Mr. Sheen, that's been one of my favorite signatures of yours from the show, which I've re-watched beginning to end every year!

For everyone else, a quick YT primer on the subject: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMFuarTK9Mw


you are welcome

edit: in my defense, i wasn´t pointing her there, i was just asking a question, that's why talking to women is so hard, they listen whatever they want

edit2: In my greater defense, you posted pics from a microSD card you "found" on your way to work, pics taken without people consentment, mostly of females, that's way worse, have a nice day.


Welllll...

Being mostly protein, it gets denatured, so it might actually make a good egg substitute in recipes. Who knows, maybe it actually works better than normal eggs.


Calm. He's not completely Hitler he just went a little over the top.


"is that the guy?"

"I dont want no trabul."

"oh, its just jackie chan."


how would you suggest I make you believe she made it?


Or just a show-er instead of a grower.


Hold up a nice picture with that dolly face of yours, with a nice little note that sez "HI REDDIT OMGOSH IM ZALANICHT"

You will receive infinite amount of karma


We're counting on you. Carl Sagan can't be the reddit Jesus forever.


Racists much?  Oh no there isn't one white women pictured on the internet doing some fucked up shit with/in front of their child.

You and people like you are the reason i want to shoot myself, not this supposed mom, supposedly teaching her child to act like a slut....

Fuck yourself and die.


You don't want to get stiffed


Name calling will accomplish nothing. How about some constructive criticism?


So you'd like to spend 1 year with a subreddit whose membership mostly consists of horny guys jacking off to a vastly outnumbered group of exhibitionist girls?


My comment will also get negative karma.


really? its a cartoon show. I don't think there's supposed to be continuity that is this subtle. Everything in this post can be explained independently of the other.


It's ok, they were just just wrestling.


Cunt - any woman who asserts herself as anything other than the property of a man.


He started it, but that's where his control of the situation ended. After the fist few chords, the song was in charge.


So Team Tinker reformed but left out the most (in)famous of the founding members.  Seems legit.


I can cross one eye kind of like she does. Please see gif [here.](http://i.imgur.com/lq3UWTf.gifv)


I'm not disagreeing with you, but is there really any concrete evidence?


Yeah mang I was riding shotgun. That's my buddy's company - Artificial. Ski Company. That's fucking sick that I saw this and you made it the whole way!


It's definitely no Pioneer One but I didn't notice the lighting being too bad. The 180 thing was definitely weird but they switched that back pretty quick. It was good enough for a $5 from me since I probably won't read the books but knowing the story from something like this would be nice. They lady isn't bad looking, I wouldn't mind if it turned into porn.


Size matters ;) all depends on how big they are...but if it is the kind you get from the store, I can down 4-5 of those in one sitting.


Goddamn it, beat me by 4 minutes.


Of all the advice given so far, this is the only one to tell OP to communicate with his wife. Now that she knows, she can be a part of the solution. Including her can definitely help, if not OP's relationship with her, but also in getting help for the son.


The downvote brigade is coming from /r/subredditdrama.

#Edit

Yes... Let the mad flow through you.  With every downvote you further corroborate my claim.


Rather Biden than Palin any day.


Why not both?

I don't think the girl learned anything. But watching him lecture her and THEN beat her, that would have been awesome. "Do you get it now?! DO YOU!?" Don't stop beating until she's educated.


even a Bot gets your Barber's humor better than you OP


Huk's biggest win's were on EG just btw there is a miss guided though that his best play was on TL
edit: his biggest cash win was on TL but as far as success his best results has been on EG


http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=341327320 (NSFW)

EDIT: LIAR


Get the money, dolla dolla bills yaaall

**EDIT:** Oh jesus man.  I don't know about you, but I just set a personal record for downvotes.


"Are you cheating on me?"
  "hmph"
  :|


Same people who downvote you.


Liek dis if u cri eveyteim


I personally do not know anybody who has them....
And I did not see anything on the media.


Doesn't matter, he's Swedish.


I see, and how does this relate to google? Does google own YouTube?


Funny you should ask, while I was covered in whole body acne I didn't really see the point in losing weight because I knew that no matter how much I lost I would always look like I had some kind of horrible medieval disease.
After it started to clear up I started taking care of myself better I suppose. lost around 18lb. Thankyou for noticing :)


thansk cptn obvious jesus christ next tell us about how we can put oil in our cars to makem run! vroom vroom!


That's worse. Was at least vanilla sex?


ummm, please, just please, go back to /r/australia and leave this shit out of this awesome subreddit.

Regards,
/r/brisbane


Michelle will fucking cut you if you fuck her guy.


Yeah, cause Wikipedia is the be all end all when it comes to fact checking.


once again, ANOTHER girl leading on a SWEET guy.


HEY EVERYBODY LOOK THIS GUY KNOWS ABOUT ALWAYS SUNNY TRIVIA LET'S UPVOTE HIM


Seriously. Introverts are not fucking retarded.


Damn, there is someone out there that knows what the uncanny valley is.


I agree. I was thinking crank up the satire.


you are the pivot man to reddit's circle jerk. seriously, fuck off. it would be much better off without you.


But it's not pH balanced for a woman!

Because everyone knows women are highly acidic and need a deodorant which will not neutralize them.


Go fuck yourself.  It's not *your* r/pics.  It's everyone's.


Dropped a mixtape that shit got priced like an album


What's wrong with burnouts? As long as they're not endangering anyone who cares?

EDIT: Wow r/cars you guys sound like a lot of fun. Keep hitting the track in your Miatas


cunt believe it's not butter.


Kind of sad that this subreddit has actually become BSN with less balls. Guess it's time to drop it and stick with MECoOp.


LA LA LA LA LA I CANT HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA


Awesome comment! I don't even like
Football.


I am a teenage girl, society won't let me admit I get horny, and I don't mind the taste of jizz sometimes.


Damn, most confusing one I read! shit got deleted :<

Oh wait, just that one part was cool enough


When he said ingest he didn't mean eating them. He meant putting them up your butthole.


LOL. You have the gumption to think you are more worthwhile to this person than the ecstatic pleasure of a HJ from a slut in a public place? GET OVER YOURSELVES, REDDIT! FUCKING DAMN


Or he fucked it up, and had to fix it.