For the love of god don't put lotion/baby oil into her vagina. If you know you're going in maybe try using silicone lube for the massage. Silicone lube is fantastic for sexy times and won't cause any infections.


lmfao, lyk u don even speek english or sumthin wtf??!!!


I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass just to hear her fart into a walkie-talkie.


Costco does not mark up anything more than 10%.


In America, you'll lose your job. In China, you better be sorry young man 'cause it's very rude.


Don't expect the moderation team to do anything that requires actual effort. This has been discussed before and the answer has always been "we're working on it". Just like the new rules that no one bothers to enforce after the shit storm with the Game of Trolls AMA.


It offends me because it's a Greek prefix on a Latin word.


well thats what you get for choosing to ride a bike. listen, i get the whole motorcycle thing. but at least the people i know who ride them feel entitled to do whatever they want on the road because they have a bike. it was your choice to ride it, so deal with the consequences.


He's on the far left and the far right of the photo. Well played!


Better put a comment here so I can ride the karma express!


Talk about viral marketing.


Thanks for the answer, that made a bit more sense of it. I'm always seeing the 6 million deaths number being thrown around to exaggerate the severity of the Holocaust so when I saw the Mao Zedong numbers I was shocked at how I hadn't heard of him earlier.


Female here, I can confirm that I am male.


Go play civ. We want none of that here.


I work in a doctor's office and we use fax machines So.  Damn.  Much.

I had no idea how to use one until I started working there.  I'm 24 and I had never had to send a fax my entire life until this job.


Originality not your strong point I see.


you made my minds eye see this in gritty black and white. Superb.


I imagine he wanted to have sex with the boy at first.


As you can see, my facts are undeniable.


There's no way your comment deserves -49 karma.

FededSentMeAHead makes a fucking totally lame and completely hackneyed "cut your hair" joke and we're all supposed to applaud him and rofl.

BitterIdealist speaks up to preserve the integrity of the event and he's downvoted to oblivion, presumably for "not having a sense of humor."

Fucking bandwagon-hopping mouthbreathers.


TL;DR man the fuck up


**You're** trying too hard. 0/10 (with rice quinoa, acai (pronounced asayee) and kale juice yux))


And replaced it with a banana.


Releasing personal info. Highly personal shit you had no business releasing. Honestly you have no room ever to talk. You refuse to even apologize for the shit so not only did you do some sick amoral shit you don't even care that you did it. What the fuck is wrong with you?

&#3232;\_&#3232;


Look, if I didn't comment on your new haircut, it's not because I didn't notice your new haircut, it's because I think you got a shitty haircut.


Because if retards like you actually knew anything about how private equity works, you'd actually know the industry creates LOTS of jobs.

But you prefer ignorance.  Good luck voting for your precious Obama.


When I was 3 I told my dad I was going to marry him when I grew up. He asked me "What about mommy? I'm already married to her." I replied "she'll be dead!" Enthusiastically.


It shouldn't. If a smurf plays even remotely well they will get queued with people at the same level as they played way before the account is ranked. I have an account with 3 wins and I've gotten queued with DMG/MG2s my last few games.


I don't give discounts for birthdays sadly.
as for weird i was once asked to dress up as a cat and spend an afternoon being a cat at someones apartment.


You obviously don't understand how women think, when an opportunity for attention presents itself, they take it.


i will make sure of it. My children will know his name. Their children will know his name. It will be a family legacy until days when English is a dead language and only scholars in ivory towers have ever heard of Shakespeare. Terry Pratchett will never die.


Its funny how people can only resort to memes and stuff when they cant think of anything of substance to add after being proven wrong.

Lol trolls are funny.


And that, kids, is how I met your mother.


wish i could give gold


*this fucking guy and his smug shit again*


>2.0

In order for a version 2 to exist there must first have been a version 1. Version 1 was never implemented. You know nothing about technology. You sound like an old CNN reporter talking about "viral videos". Back to /r/fellowkids with you


i agree. call him bro a lot. then ask him to do you a solid and loan you some cash. also, make sure to tell him to just keep it between bros. theres no reason your daughter needs to know that she probably wont be returning to school next semester you want her to enjoy it while it lasts.


Cereal is also meant for little kids..


cause that's some internet male bullshit fuck you


It's more like, once you're all cuddled up close to someone, especially someone you're attracted to, sex just pretty much always seems like a good idea.

Imagine going to a burger place to have a meeting, but then once you're there, and you can smell those delicious burgers cooking, it just seems silly not to get one. And hell, you weren't even hungry when you walked in.


Aw hiding behind 'we', jog on bellend


Agreed. Fuck printers. Fuck printer shares. Fuck printer share permissions. Fuck print servers. Fuck universal print drivers.(and actually printer drivers in general) Fuck print*.

Edit: Well shit. Thank you for the ~~sympathy beer~~ gold, like-minded individual. Me and you should get together and re-enact Office Space some time.


hey ive been on reedit longer then you fag


Keeping that forever.


o.O wutt in the butt?


This is why there are terrorists.


Dear Startreck,
Please read twilight books before making fun.  They are excellent.

EDIT: Spelling.  Also Edward is a great vampire.

EDIT: Stop downvoting this unless you tell me what's wrong with twilight.  IT's a great series and lots of people really like it.


Jokes on you. THAT'S MY JAM!!!


shittle fans have no place to talk you guys have dirty alonso who is way worse than lenhart... lenny is physical but he doesn't try to break peoples ankles

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlQjy3lg_KA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI49SKP_d-U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBx3eOmxuuE


You're a shitty dude.


Yes it is different, sorry to break it to you, but the world is not fair. Our natural biological drive creates this difference in the sexes. I seriously doubt any teenage male has ever been damaged by consensual heterosexual sex.


Oh come on. She's blind and female, not Asian. Racism!


You're the man of the house.  Tell her no.  If she doesn't respect your decision, then she doesn't respect you.


But you've been in her vagina!


The reason no one likes it is because everyone's already saying it. You're not bringing anything to the conversation. Your team won, quit bitching.


12 minutes and no replies? Yeah, we know what everyone's doing.


Check your privilege. You should know better than to make fun of people from less developed countries.


I used to work at a movie theater. Gary Wolcott, a fairly famous movie critic, used to hit my theater up on a regular basis and told me when he's honestly trying to review a film... he can't do it unless he's alone.

Yet we have this social stigma about people watching movies alone. It's a strange dichotomy.


Really? THIS is the comment getting the up votes? Damn it, Reddit/humanity.


My mother never found any magazines under my bed, so she got me a Playboy subscription. I grew up without a father, so she tried to play both roles. At times it was...awkward.


>I think most can agree that ass is fine...

I arrest my case. *storms out building shirtless*


"THAT WAS MY STASH PRIVATE"

"NEGATIVE SIR IT WAS LABALED PRIVATE"


I think that "I'm too distressed to watch porn" counts as a petty petty problem, so shoot me.


http://imgur.com/9shHh
There ya have it. My identity (kinda) revealed.


Shut up. What the fuck are you even talking about?


I hear he enjoys chewing gum


>My friend was stabbed in the throat and killed 2 years ago at a high school graduation party.

"Solar Impulse"project makes the first 24-hour solar-powered flight on this day 2 years ago.


My girlfriend once told me this... as she was breaking up with me.


I agree with you.  I'm sick of all these whiny, self hating liberal pussies with white guilt crying over everything America does or doesn't do.
They couldn't suck Obama's cock any harder if they tried but they don't realise he's leading the country to ruin.


>"That certainly is a foul odor emanating from your vagina."

I really hope she went to him to ask him for help with that particular issue, because if he said it to her like that out of the blue, he had terrible bedside manner.


Holy shit, I just found my own joke turned into a meme.  This is an awesome day.


He had to cut his arm off and drink his own piss


too bad the Heat got spanked


I would say you lucked out then.


I'm not sure if you'll believe this, but I just tried to take a picture and it turns out my webcam isn't working.  I'll post a pic as soon as I fix my webcam.


That... is not how that was intended to work...


Context does change what the seal is for. I didn't bring this drama here, just providing an explanation.


Tried it, only works on yours for some reason.


Its your dog's twin brother!!


If you're trolling you're going to hell.


Its hard to trust IQ tests, im technically a genius, but id rather be judged on actions, like doing something with smarts than taking a simple test


A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy's!


dO YOU KNOW wHY YOU WEREN'T BORN WITH A TAIL?


maybe you guys should start calling it a line so that it is easier for people to understand what to do.


Because women can't be scientists?  Fuck off.


They were extremely polite and courteous to both my GF and myself. I've had a couple run ins with less than stellar cops, but this was just amazing.


> Buy to play. No subscription needed to play.

So, are we  using the B2P/Buy to Play moniker now since F2P because permanently associated with freemium and P2W schemes? They aren't trying to pull the wool over the customers eyes, are they?


I was an asst. manager of a Little Caesars in the early 90s. I can confirm that I am singlehandedly responsible for consuming the entire US stock of chocolate raviolis.


You are not going to Dox me and send me glitter bombs are you?


I would like to unsubscribe from Meg White facts.


Wow, I guess not everyone likes foreplay.


I once lost my wallet for two days.  I found it on my desk with a single playing card sitting on top of it.  Apparently I am only capable of looking straight down when I search for things.


And the earth is flat.


Who are you calling a cootie queen you LINT LICKER!


MOMMMMYYYY!!!!! NO TOUCH VAGINIA!!!!! WEDDIT, WAT ID DA APETOL SCIENCE HANDHEWD POLTOL DEVICE?????? GOO GOO!!!!


Daddy long legs would explain why they were ballsy enough to enter the building. I mean, I like spiders, but even I wouldn't step foot into that if it was your average spider. Daddy long legs though I have no fear of. They're adorable.


@OP did you take random dicks in your mouth . That can really piss of some guys


> Contributions by Lil birdie nigga

*: thanks very much for the gold!


Down voted for being a homophobe.


Disco school doesn't advertise.


meh. surprisingly, ive gotten coins in the past this way. plus, im still in the process of making back what i paid for the rig.


If you get invited to your first orgy, don't just show up nude. That's a common mistake. You have to let nudity "happen."


And that response they have is so weak and short lived that I'd be really surprised to see anyone turning their sword away from the animals out of empathy. As a depiction of fear, it's almost too crude to recognise.


Thanks! I appreciate it!


Downvoted for the punctuation error

Edit: christ guys it was just a stupid joke!


I took snippets of his hair, framed them and hung them above my bed.  Each night I high five that piece of him as I make sweet love to my wife.

He's better then you can ever imagine.  I heart him to death.


I think you have this backwards the Dem's want to over regulate the internet. Most on herer do not recall but it was deregulation that spawned growth and innovation in the telcom, energy and airline industries. with this we are going backward


HAHA, I totally read that in Comic Book Guys voice!!! Was I the only one?

~~please don't downvote, I have a Master's in folklore mythology.  I have no job and Reddit is the only thing I have left worth living for~~


> False flag attacks on your own people

Yeah, because this happens.


"TL;DR:  I have erectile dysfunction"


Noooooo. I made the gif and wouldn't have reposted it if I knew. Get real.


Your mom calls me babe too.


said AlphaRedditor, while eating a bowl of Cinnamon Crunch.


That's every day in an ad agency

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=R2a8TRSgzZY


Hey, you posted before it was even up.  It was supposed to be MY karma!!!  Next week I'm posting an hour early!!  Because Karma defines my life, and I'm really really really mad right now =)


Finding fellow fans of The Office is like finding easter eggs.

Edit: I mean the excitement from finding one. Not that it's hard.

Edit 2: Fine then, since I've been told my first analogy is shit.  Finding another Office fan is just pure joy and absolutely wonderful. You guys are my favorite types of fans, and it's always easy to connect with you.


Craves attention like all girl gamers who constantly remind us that they are girls OMG!!


My wife works in foster care and when a victimized kid had to testify against an abuser in court, these guys would show up in support so the kid wouldn't feel intimidated.  It really is a cool way of helping these kids feel empowered.  (San Antonio TX)


Yeah! With that critiquing... and, you know, that other stuff... How will video gaming withstand this terrifying barrage?


If I were a girl and had to fuck the kind of guy that hires hookers, I'd be wasted 24/7


Logged in just to upmote.


Ladies and gentlemen, Jason Bourne.


Why have we suddenly turned on him?

I always thought the majority considers him an Arsenal boy.

EDIT: I understand the question. It's just all of a sudden Arsenal fans slaying Wilshere has become popular, which surprises me because this season he's had one of his better ones.


...she was ready to bang a bunch of dudes in college


Oh, hey, a racist from Oklahoma. What a fucking shock.


Fan of young pussy eh?


HEY! Hitler would agree with you! He was a huge advocate of forced sterilization!


You are the wind beneath my wings.


Actually, I think the one trying to wake him up is pretentious. You can tell it's a daily routine (the other one is rhythmic playing the piano to her little chant) and she's rather uppity about it, thinking she's the mom. It's all over her face and in her way of saying "wake up" at the end.


Were you expecting [this](http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130707032319/amnesia/images/5/52/This-icon.jpg)?


How bout we.just stick with bigot. Short, simple, and right to the point wait let me guess

"Fuck off, Fattie"

"Banned" cuz ya know, that's so hardcore brah


I believe marriage equality is a constitutionally guaranteed right. Leave it to the states and nothing changes.


The fuck am I talking about?

How about the constant pinched expression on her face like she's been eating a lemon? The fact that her eyes look like she's got some kind of FAS or something?

SHE

IS

NOT

BEAUTIFUL

IN

ANY

WAY

CONVENTIONAL

OR

UNCONVENTIONAL

Get over your little obsession.


**Alright, that's enough.**


you wanna see a picture of his dick? Am i the only one that thinks this is weird.


Heh.  My girlfriend has three cats, and one of them was shitting all over the place, but she couldn't ever catch it in the act, so she didn't know which one.  She bought a variety pack of glitter, and mixed up three bowls of cat food with three colors of glitter.  Sure enough all the randomly-placed poop had purple glitter, so she knew which cat!


Actually, don't watch it.  You'll just question people's sense of humor and waste about 2 mins of your life.


The baby is so ugly it's making the cat puke.


No but you shouldn't cause a fuss when the mods tell you why it was refused. I don't control those subreddits.


I fixed it for you, Chad.  For this day, and every day going forward this year.

http://i.imgur.com/m9tfGhY.png


LmAo ArE YoU FuRiiiiiiiiOuS BrOooOO ?!?!


1: So, uh...what do you wanna do?

2: I dunno, what do *you* wanna do?

1: I dunno, uh... what do *you* wanna do?

Every time.

First time I heard of that bit was when I watched Disney's Jungle Book when I was 5. Ever since then, I have to answer a "What do you wanna do?" with an "I dunno, what do *you* wanna do?"


Fuck you. All homo you insecure prick.


>You know who it is. You're just hoping it isn't him.

Wow. That's real.


how bout hes a fuccin cunt


YOU LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING RETARD?


Oh yes, she's such a good sport for signing a caricature of herself portraying the idiocy that has befallen American politics. For her to be a good sport she should have gracefully left politics and not tried to grab as much fame and TV stardom for her family as she could.


Just made the same face to my computer because of this comment...


Its not bullshit. Hard-working Americans should not have to help ANY person, let alone any minority. There is such an entitled attitude among those who have little because they have failed to ever work hard in life.

Santorum is dead on. He should stop making apologies.


That guy looks like a Kurosawa character who just jumped off the screen.


> It was even cleverer the first time.
FTFY


"Who's laughing now, dad!"


jesus christ....I'm sorry but I laughed.....upvote for you.


"Don't try and flatter me! I am actually fucking ugly and stupid!"


oh god! that was downvoted to oblivion rather quickly.. So I guess my plan back fired. *re-assess strategy*


Catholic schools are so nerdy


HAHA you guys are pretending to have actually had a girlfriend, lolz

nice try


He wasn't taken to first aid. They killed him.


Looks like some ones never heard of medical marijuana


The best time to wear a striped sweater, is all the tiiiime


If they see you with it they will throw you out of the theater.
I of course bring in my own popcorn and tell them to fuck off and call the cops.


she needs at least 4 hot chicks to cancel her out.


You're broken, he's broken, we're all broken. Aren't we all imperfect humans?

Fuck off.


That's very nice. It is I, who must thank you for the kind words and support. Let's change the world.


Turn back your gay friends from attacking my karma, please.  My post went from +13 to -5 right after you posted this.  My karma is not a hole for you to be poking around with.


You  made it yourself - that IS the American dream! Congratulations, you've arrived, and you're doing great! You're amazing! I hope the road getting here wasn't so hard you can't appreciate all the bright and wonderful things in store for you!


What canadians? Canadians weren't in vietnam.


That's kind of an understatement.


**Your brother is going to die pretty soon**

**Hopefully**.


Nice try, *Swedish Tourism Agency*.


Yeah, yeah.. I probably didn't need to take a jab at the close mindedness I find myself completely immersed in everyday. It is pretty obvious to anyone paying attention in this country that it exists, so being even more obvious is just being an ass... Mea culpa.


I had six from the most recent trip to Belize. One i tweezed out, four where extracted by a doctor, and the last one burrowed deeper when the tape went on. It never came out. I have a live in brother now.


> There's no inherent value to human children, nor is there an inherent value to someone's pets.

Oh, so you're a [nihilist](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nihilism)? Well then I obviously don't give a fuck what you say since nothing matters anyway.


$7 gets me a 6 pack in Georgia


Yes not actually shatter but I think the question was more is that some kind of thc


>[wat](http://i.imgur.com/KMcUf.jpg)

FTFY


why do they continue to hide behind the shield of satire?  this is about racism, about oppression, about hatred of a people. it is just sickening


TIL there are people that don't know about the Crips and Bloods.


This post needs more upvotes.


if only we had more Cops that would uphold their oath.


He doesn't swim so much as not drown.


Isn't that pretty much what reddit is?


Nobody cares. You're lonely. Get out once in a while.


My grandmother gets some kind of a high when I visit her while I'm on a bulk.

When I'm on my third serving of delicious meatloaf with fresh veggies, she never stops smiling and starts speaking in a crooning, blissful way.


I was expecting that (and I know I'm going to sound like a dick now that I've been downvoted). I just wanted samx3i to know that making the same joke 21 times is *not funny.*


The lunch box opens as soon as the box leaves your hands and the ashes blow in the wind back on to the bridge and into the windows of a school bus, blinding several children and the bus driver, who actually swerves off the bridge.


You don't recognize pit bulls? I'm sorry CNN has poisoned your tiny brain.


I remember my first office murder, it was hilarious!


If reporting on illegal behavior is now trolling, I guess most of reporters are trolls


I personally like the guy in jean shorts that runs full speed into the bar and lands on his face. Wtf was he going for other than smashing his head into the ground??


People downvote you for trying to introduce them to a faster and more in depth game, go figure. If they think this is hype they'll lose their shit if they watch melee.


To everyone else is sunbathing, but Australians have no illusion that if they lay in the sun, they're definitely cooking themselves.


SHUT THE FUCK UP, HIPPIE!


"Look at the way you're torturing those dogs by letting them outside! Who would think that it's okay to let animals go outside?!?!"


TIL: Redditors are all children who have never worked a day in their life.


Render unto Little Ceasar's that which is Little Ceasar's.


The modern KKK is actually pretty different from the KKK back during the Civil War era.


here ya go https://streamable.com/8lj3


Let me fix that for you:

     typcial bury/sj mocmunity rcap?

See, the reason it's okay to fuck it up this bad is because humans can actually fill in the blanks as they read this. A study showed that, so it's now a best practice.

Raelly nayone nto dnoig ti si toatlly a novcie progarmmer.


ouch, right in the golden globes!


Yeah, but she's got the toned thighs of a 16 year-old and, according to my dreams, the smooth pubic mound of a 9 year-old.


HE LIKE TO BANG BANG THE HELP


I had the same reaction. Not because of the content of the image, rather I feel actual pain after seeing the same damn .gifs uploaded to Reddit a thousands times.


All the girls I saw I asked for blowjobs before I saw this question, they all left the floor I'm on


The author not rejecting to the illustrations and casting doesn't change the text though, and it's the text that's important to this discussion. Yes, as she's the closest thing in the book to an author stand-in Rowling probably wrote Hermione as a white girl. But that doesn't mean the text explicitly says she's a white girl, which is why the black Hermione thing is valid.


If the kid is bronze, I think those runes that lower death timers would be a great investment.


Do you not have any standards?


Worst time to ask, "May I help you, Sir?"


If they lose again maybe they can sign another free agent all star


"Oh, I have to scroll down. Hahaha, how did I miss that?"


>My mom went to the same gym as her. They would **AVADA KEDAVRA** to each other as my mom got on the treadmill.


Dude Seriously that is the fucking guy! Mount Carmel West! holy shit! I live in German Village. Hes about 6' 180 black long hair and wears glasses and a trench coat. I think we identified his MO and now hes moved south to take German Village (me) for a ride. Or rather I gave him a ride. Thanks for posting. this is what he looks like.
http://imgur.com/asFPl


i dont ever get called sexy, this is new to me


thats uh.. Thats not really a joke man. Thats just advice


Oh, come on now. Please tell me you forgot the /s at the end of your comment.

WTF, people? Why the downvotes? Do you guys really take that schmuck on the radio seriously?


> half-niggerness

The politically correct term is *mulattosis*.


Ironic that she's being one up-ed by a retard.


I'm almost 20 so I guess this isn't right either but if some 13 year old shit snack hit my 2 year old, I'd fuck him up. That really makes me angry. It might be because my nephew just turned three and I'm very protective.


My bad bro. Im sorry I don't memorize the fucking Internet


Well when you put it that way it makes me sound like the town whore. Bitch shoved a diving board up there.


Typical libs.  Always getting down on your knees for some dudes creamed AIDS chunks.


Sweet! Wiener-buddies! Wait.


Sure, as long as people recognize that it is a long road from what *ought* to be the case to what *is* the case.

Of course someone shouldn't have to worry about that. But of course they should recognize that they're also going to get spammed with creepy responses. That's the reality of today's intarwebs.


I feel like this is the most legitimate response in the thread, and should be higher. Having dated a crazy chick with a knife fixation, shit can get dicey fast.


this still wouldn't hold up in court, assuming this is the only evidence

Edit: you guys are ruthless today. Anyways, the video STILL doesn't prove intent or that it wasn't an accident. If the person responsible, the people around him, and the cyclist all claim that this was not intentional, why cant you even consider the possibility?


Oh god i have images of him rocking back and forth crying while whispering his catchphrase.


Ugh, please don't call video games "sports."


Can we preserve him in amber and remember him just like this?


The problem with their anti-RIAA viewpoint is that without the RIAA, they likely never would have become famous enough to be able to release their music for free.  They can still testify against the ridiculous practices of the RIAA, but the RIAA can likewise maintain that giving away music isn't a feasible business model.


>She never brought up the subject again

with you


>wealthy black family with no kids

FTFY, racist.


Nice try by you , you fell for it too.   It's ok.  You're obviously not as smart as me


The Why is my kid on the bench? haircut  http://m.imgur.com/lFTBsKX


To get the full convo, Riot Lyte has to cross out the names of other players talking. I'm not just talking to myself here, I was provoked numerous times even though it didn't justify what I said i guess. Hopefully he'll post the entire chat and give an update or something when he comes back from GDC, because there's no context to this atm.


Never Forget the Fullerton PD cover up of the death of Kelly Thomas. Just horrible.


Australia...lol....australia doesn't count in the real world.


Iran is the last country that could lecture anyone on political ethics though. An Islamist dictatorship with a supreme leader that hangs gays, imprisons "apostates", abuses religious minorities (the Bahai), and I could go on.


I miss ye when he was more lyrical and clever in his songs


Punching a sleeping person and splitting their lip immediately forfeits her right to play the v-card. You were in the right.


Then maybe he should spend a few hours showing his 10 year old girl graphic holocaust pictures and porn.  Hey, nothing's more joyful then your parents being openly honest about what is real in this world.  After all, you don't want her to be gullible.

Good thinking.


TIL Albinos are shiny humans.


I was debating whether or not to censor the N word.  Then I remembered where I was.


sure, it SOUNDS glamorous, but then you gotta think about all the sex you'd be expected to have!


So is empty rhetoric...


"Are dogs allergic to latex? "


This is all so beautifully put.

I can only speak for myself as well but I would say I would be *much* happier if there were no need for SRS to exist. If, like Ezekielle says, the admins made the right changes. For instance, enforcing Reddit's user agreement.


That was such a fun fucking series, best memories in gaming.


This is reddit. Not 4chan. Everything is a repost. If you want OC, [you can find it here.](http://www.4chan.org) Otherwise, shut up and look at reposts.


Popping open the briefcase in class would be so badass. Everyone else is rummaging around in their man-purses and you just pop that shit open.


My one friend sells pot. and i stole 2 bags of it and had 2 other bags full of oregano and i switched them. Also. I fucked his girlfriend. haha got him good.


It's not the same title. The OG one had 'Fuji' on the front and 'Cherry Blossoms' at last.


...try to hit the bullets with a discus


That's what the cat is thinking, or is that only YOU?


They have no sense of humor.


Sshhhh. Just let the people with serious problems keep on not wanting kids. We don't want them reproducing and parenting, now do we?


Or, "You're a stupid cunt. That's not a clinical term. There's no cure for being a cunt."


It seems awfully easy to say with your hands resting on a keyboard and not ripping babies out of THOUSANDS of women's wombs in a dirty bunker with your bare hands.

I'm not Jewish but belittling this woman's tremendous courage is disrespectful.


I am guilty of this. Sorry, guys. It's unintentional.


I think, Hitler was an awful Human being. Dont you agree?

Edit: Jebus! Nazis everywhere!


FOR THE REST OF THE DAY THIS THOUGHT IS GOING TO MAKE ME SO HAPPY.


Actually it wouldn't. I broke my foot last year and it cost me $35. I think a new laptop is much more than that. I'm not defending them, I even said that explicitly. I'm just saying her response was disproportional.


What are you trying to do - destroy the genre of romantic comedy?


Ease up white knight.


He is a great dog and the smartest dog I have ever had. Our lives are enriched because of him. We love him very much.


Duhhh there yogscast Simon and Lewis or honeydew and xephos


Keep the fucking obituaries off reddit, your best friend was a flaming faggot. Many people were killed by non-drunk drivers on sunday also, but you don't see their friends/relatives posting about it on reddit. Fuck off you retard.


In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!


Hey, I'm the grant duchess of /r/SubRedditDrama and arrived via a link thread in that sub. You are massively racist but I'm sure you know that. Anyway, thanks. Everyone is laughing at you.


For nearly a year I was handcuffed, chained & blindfolded so I couldn't move much. I got very sick and lost all of my muscles, when they took the handcuffs off my back and shoulders hurt for months


I know, still, you shouldnt be disgusted that a woman bought lubricant

I really dont see why she returned it though


I'd like to think a real feminist would support your decision.


but they cant afford to feed their population??


"Excuse me ma'am, I asked for a shit load of banana peppers and this fine employee fulfilled my request. I fail to see the problem."


And he takes the tits from women and giveth them to men.


Now I will get karma for free!


maybe...just maybe israel is constantly treating others like shit and needs to be reminded how to not be an asshole


police officer: "do you know why i pulled you over?"
asshat driver: "no"
Police officer: points to all the passing cars laughing at him, "they do"


dat is not water dat iz beer da nice man brawt in da pic


just because they didn't speak english to you doesn't mean they don't speak english.


TIL this is something that exists

I weep for humanity


Don't you mean LMFAO?


judging by their arms, they couldn't be more redneck.


22 years old, at Uni, with a year and a half left until I graduate. 6 of them are on my course and know each other.

A rather big fuck up indeed...


Here is the real question, stick or auto and god help you if you


Tattoo recipient included.


I have a meeting with Magic Flight on Monday where we will discuss the official partnership between the r/trees organization and their company. This is something that has been on the table for a year. So I'm very excited about it and hopefully other people will be too.


Simple summary: Don't mistake yourself as "nice guy" when you're really "codependent guy"


I don't wanna read that bullshit...


are you suggesting r/worldnews is not full of hypocrites and ass hats?


Should I submit this to /r/nocontext? I think I should.


I think about how ahead of her time was Sinead O'Conner [when she said "fight the real enemy"](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sin%C3%A9ad_O%27Connor#Saturday_Night_Live_performance) and tore up a picture of the Pope.

Like most, I didn't really understand at the time what she was on about.  That act really had a huge impact on her career.


please tell me this is a joke


This warmed my heart man.

Good job. Awesome for a 22 year old

EDIT: wow! 1000+ upvotes?


Because hackneyed, unsubstantial phrases annoy me. Any time you criticize something around someone who disagrees, they try to validate their taste in music/movies/clothing by reminding you that you still only speak for yourself, as if their opinions are in jeopardy of being monopolized by your own. If you don't have anything substantial to add to the conversation, just shut up.


**TL;DR**:
>I was assaulted by Dan Aykroyd

...
"Dan, I'm sorry."

Yep, Canadian Citizenship Test passed with flying colors!


No, I would get my hands on whatever I could get.
I played on Remora and Asura.
Plenty of Kraken clubs.
5xx mil
I do at times, haven't played in awhile.
I did not scam people in game.
I was in almost all of them. Hidden Power(Oldest one..), Exodus, Apathy.


I didn't realize there was another option...


We saw this at midnight and every time she was on screen I'd say, "dat ass", loudly. I had been drinking.

**edit** I guess this made a lot of people butt hurt like I was personally at their showing. If it make ya'll feel any better, my friends and were the ONLY people in our theatre.


Incompetent people are too incompetent to realize that they are, in fact, incompetent.


I was gonna reap karma by commenting something from the post but it seems ya'll have all bases covered.


Was not a virgin when I took the picture.


Kaitlyn is under a lot of financial stress since her ex left.


Mad sexual tension goin' on right here.


It's like you mentioned Stalin only because it's the only factual name you are sure about.


"Allah packed my bags."

It's the best answer to make everything run smoothly at the airport.


Thanks forjackass, whoops forjakessake.


Nut butter &#3232;\_&#3232;


the fuck is mario kart double dash?

**EDIT FOR THE DOWNVOTERS:: MARIO KART '64 IS THE ONLY KART IN MY HEART. ALL OTHERS WILL REMAIN UN-PLAYED.**


Ah, I [found the other story](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ahg8x/what_is_the_nicest_thing_youve_ever_done_that_no/c0hkuyq)


What is this Cruz talk? I don't understand how people don't realize how ruined he is. That injury will ruin his talents. Will he come back? Yes. Will he be the same player/better? Not a chance


Yeah because, legal or no, wearing yoga pants *in a gym* is code for "I actually just came here to bang and to invite men to say creepy things about my workout clothes."


...still downvoted because it isn't that funny.


And that's why he is not rich yet.


Why did you get a kid from ugonda? Don't you know about kony?


The twist: he's straight.


Fukkin lol'd!

Edit: Downvotes, the community's way of saying: contribute or lurk moar.

Lurking moar.


It's not in this article, but the man actually said "I would've helped if I knew there were cameras there."

Fucking scum.

Edit:

The exact quote (translated) is "If i knew there were cameras there I wouldn't have stolen from him, I would have helped him."
Source: http://www.dagbladet.no/2012/10/15/nyheter/sverige/utenriks/ran/23887936/


wow, this is what you get for being nice, eh? You fucking ignorant prick.


Yeah, I'm sure you want to see that cause you're "British" ;)


Wow.  What is reddit now, an online report missing people website?

I bet you in both cases the woman just can't stand the guy and took off with another dude.


I auditioned. Read with Aaron for the part. Unlike most actors- I LOVE too audition. because if they hire you, it means they wanted you. Everybody wants to be wanted. Aaron works so hard on every detail of the show and  his words bring out the best in actors. I can hardly believe how good this opportunity is. and I ain't blowing it.


4chan is the gutter of the internet, as such I don't care. I feel Reddit has far more capacity to create engaging and worthwhile communities, and I feel this issue is stopping /r/gaming from being as great as it could be


That must have made for an awkward conversation with the rest of the inmates.

"What are you in for?"

"Um... stealing kisses?"


It's fine with you thinking the comments are not acceptable but the fact that the comments would keep being made until the post is removed makes the post unacceptable.

How do you not see that.


Don't do red, red is far too difficult to concentrate into a cake. It would take at least 50g of gel to cause that effect on someone.

Your go to is Blue, Green, or Yellow (though yellow won't be as hilarious)

Go to a specialty food store and look for Galloway or Ess brand colors, they are highly concentrated and will dye that poo up something fierce.

Source: I bake and shit.


I know this is the purpose of the subreddit, but fuck you guys, I still haven't heard from some of my friends.


His name is my name too...


Good to know that Paul supporters still don't understand how trolling works.


If you fuck with my 8 hours of sleep I'm gonna be pissed.  I'm a beautiful princess and I need it.


Wow you guys really don't get it.  "One of the most amazing things" this person has ever seen was in a video game.  I see the cool part of it from a technology standpoint, but you really see no sadness in that?


Because other roles can't write a footlong reddit post while they are ingame.


Fuck you, I'm doing God's work here. I'm so sick of reading stupid, empty, generic comments like,

"You. I like you."

 "Thanks, I just spat my coffee all over my keyboard."

"Why isn't this the top comment."

To recap, choke on my dick.


this actually does happen to me, most every night


Thank you for holding Tracker18o's dick for me.


I was just going to say that...

"Oh, just cover it, and forget it happened."


Which ofc is proof that Happy actually cheated. Kappa?


Where's the number for the International Criminals Court?


I used to think that this is the funniest thing I've read in a long time, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


We call these high schools in upper middle class areas. Or private schools


you insinuating something?

i have a masters in automotive engineering from UTI


Dill Weed, Butt Rub...


Thanks, Mom. Edited for whoever is at work and clicking anigifs at 3AM.


If his patent is granted, I am sure he will receive a lot more for that than $75k


No, just basic supply and demand. I demand a product, they supply it, and I pay them for it. Not my problem that the machine isn't accepting the transaction


"Son... I uh.... .... .... You're dying"


Upvoted

edit: downvotes really???


That makes way more sense than a tree acting as a superuser.


He wears one [here](http://i.imgur.com/Hj5TUIC.png?1) as well

EDIT: Gottem


Dude, you're like his new personal assistant or something.

It's adorable.


he wouldn't have done it if he wasn't able to come on the internet and brag about it


Shouldn't call your kid a 'blood clot'


I think you should fuck off Your comic is bad and you should feel bad


The *Claaaww*.  The claw is our master.


Edit:

I was pretty drunk and was definitely not paying attention to the lights. Emotion got the better of me, and I made a snap judgement.

As a rider, I apologize for that fucktard, and also for my incorrect statement.


Sounds a bit wibbly wobbly


There should be a rule for this sub banning novelty accounts because this voidspace thing really is irrelevant to the shibe looking doge in the picture.


And that, gentlemen, is why you never stick your dick in crazy.


Je deteste le langua *francois*


The hell? Did I log on to X-box live?


But the whole point of men and women having sex is to procreate. It's a base drive.  What's the point of sex if not to procreate?  Oh right to have 'fun'.


I have seen parents recount this on my Facebook. They seem to think, that if a restaurant doesn't have parent rooms or a baby change table they are entitled to change the kid *right on the fecking table*.

NO.


No, it doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme. But it's reddit, not the grand scheme, so I felt like discussing it. If you're only going to focus on the grand scheme of the universe, maybe you should get off Reddit.


Your boobs went to second base with Katy Perry's.


Just be honest and admit many clicks come from metacritic, and if you dont have scores - you are not on metacritic.


the key is to cough loudly while tearing quickly at the same time. This also works if you're trying to hide a fart.


Thats the most blatantly ignorant thing i've ever heard. It literally has no impact on his character or his acting, yet his personal choices would make you think differently of his telling the same jokes?


At least they always pay their debts!


i like it when my post does well in karma score


It totally does! I was walking down a cross walk with a bunch of bananas, and this black woman waiting for the light shouted " yo! Are those bananas?" as I walked in front of her car. I turned, replied "yes indeed!" as loud as her, and gave her one of my bananas. She shouted to her passanger so that I could hear: "That's my nigga with the banana hookup!"

Greatest pedestrian moment of my life.


The space monster thing is a myth. How could you spread these lies?


Was the manager being racist or were those just job titles?


>The great thing about being anti-reddit is we don't really have to do anything, just step back and let them humiliate themselves.


Non-Seoul Korea, too.

I've had waiters tell their boss they wouldn't serve round eyes, not knowing we understood. We would politely tell the owner that we would eat elsewhere and leave.


Join the crowd!

Getting quite tribal around here lol

Still waiting for an actual argument. Alas.


You'll understand when you have a chance at it yourselves.

Sorry, not when. If ever.

Edit: Obligatory "thank you, kind non-Spurs fan!"


>she was touched

Are you some kind of pedophile?


This is probably the most honest answer in this thread.


I never got drunk. Most I've drunken was 3 beers...didn't feel a bit.


Come on, stop talking nonsense. This is impossible.


blake's still a bitch tho


http://imgur.com/sf8jE

edit: /r/usernamesillustrated for more!


Sorry, but your comment makes no sense. Downvoted. :)


That's not the same at all


Yes, let's just ignore decades of work in the field of sociology because you want to call someone a misandrist.


And old people were once humans.


Funny how they whine that they want help, then whine that they want imperialist foreigners out of their countries when they get it.


Pussy slayer in this one.


yes it is common knowledge. proof, the numerous posts I and others have had banned because we challenged their idiotic ideas with you know, logic.


The lights are to discourage crime.


I guess you were...

*Sunglasses because i'm crying*

Drowning in sorrow!

Edit: 69 downvotes. Heh.


ALL. THE. TIME.

It's actually very nice, very sweet.

People will also post photos on instagram just saying *Cacao*. Like, all the time.


Nah.
Not enough people getting buttmad that I used the word nigger or downvoting my post because it involves 4chan.


You're not allowed to be better than me!!!!

I HAVE A DEGREE!!!!

I... have... a... degree... *sobs


Trolling extremely dangerous and unstable extremists is the EU way to go indeed!

Edit for those who down-vote: too many people have died because of that drawing, we cannot continue to give reasons for more people to do so, regardless of what the majority might perceive as ''justice'' or ''freedom of speech''.

L’Homme est une chose sacrée pour l’Homme.


The lubricating fluid is derived from blood plasma, I believe...


gangam style isn't a meme.

edit 1:I KNOW IT'S A MEME NOW. I DIDN'T REALIZE REALLY POPULAR MUSIC VIDEOS FELL UNDER THE CATEGORY OF MEME. YOU CAN STOP DOWNVOTING ME NOW, THANK YOU!

edit 2: fuck you guys

edit 3: jokes, guys, jokes. I'm having fun, are you?


Half the time that initial stream likes to split in 2 directions.


Sad trombone.
And I was simply selling a couple sets I had lol.


Fuck spoons, said the OCD afflicted, self molesting Baby Lector


Imagine being a 12 year old kid and only now being able to go outside at night - at 24 years of age, in your own country.

That is how terrorism happens.

edit: -75 downvotes and not a single reasonable response. Go team go!


Most modern scanners do not have color pixels, just ones that record luminosity. In order to get color photographs they flash RED GREEN BLUE very fast with the imaging light and record the luminosity. They use this information to make the photo. Since the screen is always luminous, despite the color of the imaging light it shows up as a mixture of all colors, so it is all gray.


I am of the belief that the far left have been brainwashed. However, there is a technique known as deprogramming which may offer some hope.


I thought that was how you were SUPPOSED to use a credit card. My entire life is a lie.

EDIT: Thanks for all the credit advice, guys. I'm going to go buy a yacht.


To be fair the kid deserved it.


Hide /r/kids, hide /r/wife, they bannin' errybody out here!


1. I thought no but then she asks how tall she is. The mother says a woman pretending to be successful.


No, I went home and cried.


Just sayin'. Why get so defensive? Is this why you need feminism, to protect yourself from my creepy words? Where is your Feminism now?


Congrats on the biology degree!


I've made a huge mistake.


You can if you're Clint Eastwood.


You are sad, the lot of u


All the sudden I want sex.


Then why'd you say you had 'no idea'?


"Sir, you can't use Monopoly money to pay for your meal"


http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=qKOmLP4yHb4&feature=channel

Those people refused to give their "aid" in a more acceptable way then going against israel.

Turns out those people can kill israeli soldiers to get
their "aid" in.

really makes you think who they want to help and how.

(no those people are not terrorists. those people really know how to pull a media spin tho.)


I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy.


Wow he could get a lot prettier girl then that. Gian also can if he just lets his career pull the weight.


This comment made me laugh/fart


No, I'm not trolling. I'm not saying that men who look are rapists, but that ATTITUDE contributes to rape culture - google it.


A couple months ago I had someone approach me outside the liqour store saying, "Could you spare some change?  I really need a beer."

It was a hot day and I had just bought a case of beer, so I gave him one.  He was thrilled.

It is always better to give items rather than money.  Otherwise he might just go blow it on food or shelter.


"And now, I have to wait for my helicopter pickup to arrive so I can go back home and get my lambo."


That's actually more cleaning than I assumed happened at all... so bravo.


nice post, upvoted, down with the mods


Stop generalizing. Take me, for example - I have micropenises for fingers and a toe for a penis. Completely different.


thisoldfart and the reddit alien making sweet sweet (non-sexual) karma love


SOULJA BOY UP IN DIS HO

WA ME RAE AND WA ME RO

WA ME REE DEM HATERS MAIN


buy owning a android you are admitting you have a problem


THIS HAS HAPPENED TOO MANY TIMES

VALVE PLEASE ADD TOGGLE DEFUSE

Edit: Wow, a shitstorms a' brewin.


No, I mean the word itself is very gendered. Very anti women.


I still think it should have been Hotline Miami 3: Wrong Number


You were right the first time, blind people don't belong in kitchens.


I would say that no matter what the age of drivers the "youngest" of that group would have the most accidents. Becoming a good driver takes time. Fun fact: where I live we can drive at 14

Edit: I live in South Dakota


Came here to say this, an hour too late.


Have you ever had people making Scrubs references? I mean, you *are* a hospital janitor.


Oh no, better get off the internet and put that Fox News straight into your vein!


ONLY THE STRONGEST MAY PROCREATE


So you sext with a SO, (s)he puts it on the internet, and you don't feel betrayed at all?


WHAT IF THEY BACKED OUT AFTERWARDS?!?!?!


Why the fuck did OP think this post was relevant or interesting? I know u fuckin nerds think its awesome to circle jerk on reddit about gay ass tv shows. U socially inept retards sit in ur moms basement all day n r 2 scared 2 actaully talk to girls. maybe if u tried u would actually get laid, instead of fantasizing about talking 2 a girl.


That is some unforgivable shit right there.


That's what i said to my girlfriend (she's a dcup) when she showed me her boob, but it turnt out to be real.... silicon!


Well they figured that 47% of the people will buy iPhones no matter what, so they are not going to even try with them.


Yes one girl is all of them and "whorish" women never existed prior.


Who keeps shit in their chair?!


http://i.imgur.com/fXjbDN3.gif

edit: Just now checked..my post bombed like a mothafucka lol...sometimes my posts suck. Gonna leave it up as usual. If I worried about getting downvoted sometimes I would never post and wouldn't have 104 thousand karma.


Coriolis effect.  Data prices swirl in the opposite direction than the northern hemisphere.


I'm a taxpayer that has to pay for you, burden. Fuck you.


Tell me how to be this relaxed, OR I'LL KILL YOUR FAMILY!


my comment was a joke too if we're playing that game ;)


Then you find out some of them NEVER CLOSE. D:


Then why are people who have been in relationships in agreement with me?


You ASSHOLE! I cut all these onions for nothing! *sniff*


This is the best thing I have ever seen!


Like Fun Size candy. It's just a bag of **LIES**.


Hey, that's Space Balls. Nice try, ghost of Mel Brooks.


I was just thinking that. It would really suck to start this project, and about 4 years into it realise your kid is just getting [uglier and uglier.](http://i.imgur.com/R6jIo.jpg)


That doesn't sound like a very healthy parent-child relationship.


A journey of a thousand miles can be started tomorrow.

— Lazy Tzu


If anything post your comment/PM that generated this response. This is just silly :)

*I want to touch whoever gilded me, places.*


"...there are no rules. It's like check-in at an Italian airport."
-Jack Donaghy / 30 Rock.


Yeah, but with inflation and the value of the Canadian dollar, that was like $13.76


Every time *I* try to high five myself I end up just clapping! FUCKINGSUPER IS A WITCH!


Too bad you're a dumbfuck who doesn't know about anything


Agree wholeheartedly.  I'm sure people's hearts are in the right place, but medically they are not doing people any favors by pretending it's ok.


*its*

----

*stuff* not 'shit'

----
EDIT for clarity, these are separate corrections.

EDIT 2: I don't care about the profanity, it's the misplaced negative implications of the word that I think is daft.

EDIT 3: My least in-tune comment with the hive-mind it seems.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


Oh! Thanks for the tip. I'll be deleting that now haha.


They sound stereotypically English.

"Your money or your life! Oh, just half the money? That's okay too. Oh, and we're having tea, would you like tea?"


This doesn't work that way. Fucking yo daddy lol, Christmas.


I saw someone lose their arm up to their elbow in a printing press. Shitty thing is that the day before the accident I was training him and telling him that if he ever dropped a rag during clean up to just let it go and not try and be a hero. Needless to say, he reacted and tried to grab a rag he dropped. This was his first week on the job.


I posted the same reply about something else in r/atheism, but it seems fitting for me here too:

This is why I don't believe in a god.


**I RAN OUT OF ROOM IN MY ARMAGE**


Neither did I... I love my awesome reflexes.


WHY WOULD GIVING THE CAT A STANDING OVATION HELP THINGS?

*idiot you dont understand what they're saying*

NO, BRAIN


I think that's the tack of the joke here, that dishonored and bioshock share many similarities, but apparently people here are a little too sensitive and throwing a hissy fit over the joke.


It's weird, I'm kind of naturally athletic, and though I can do things like Ice skate, or rollerblade, I cannot stand up on a skateboard. No matter how much I try.

Overall, I am a little bit wobbly, but I usually correct my wobbles before I tip over. I am *not* Lucille 2.


i want to believe op is not a fag ha xD


It says victims of a plane crash were taken out of the ocean and has a NSFW tag on it. What did you think it would be?


This coming from the moderator who wouldn't remove my personal info from this thread and i had to have an admin do it for you. You let people insult me all day long, and post my personal info without consequence, you call me a terrible moderator but you can't even follow reddit's rules.


> Did you fucking make this one too uncle fucker?

FYI you're violating the [Reddit user agreement](http://www.reddit.com/help/useragreement), so just downvote and move on?


I'm the same way. Every day at work I look like I was up the night before doing nonstop bong rips.


This isn't continuing the fight, this was me attempting to be rational with people who are apparently incapable of behaving in such a manner.

This was me defending myself after being attacked for 24 hours.

This was me identifying a way out of the situation without further retardedness.

And it failed.


sounds like you're underpaid


an Asian male married to a caucasian female in black and white? And I thought Asian males are obsolete in the dating pool, cool


Especially one that decided the outcome of the game.

But then again, if they would have scored more points previous to that point, it ^wouldn't ^have ^^^been ^^^^^an ^^^^^^^^^issue...


Id like to know why you arent on AIM while Im working. I need someone to chat with :(


Makes fun of his fundamental christian family.

is engaged at 22.


yea when the black autistic boy gets gang raped by the KKK?


Old enough...to party.


um... no, "abs" do not show up at that level unless you mean incredibly lightly and only under the right lighting while flexing as hard as you can.  Most olympic athletes are a lot lower than 12-10, yet few of them have anything I'd call good abs.

And yes, I'm 180lbs@5% bodyfat.  I do, in fact, lift.


That trunk job Jesus is getting looks amazing.


Wait, are we talking about Christianity now?


Step 1: Find a tree.
Step 2: Whittle yourself a new phone.


You realise how that makes the pics pretty much worthless as a basis for comparison, right?

Edit: It has become apparent that garnering a large number of downvotes is the best indication of someone being right about something.


MY GIRLFRIEND PROMISED ME A BLOWJOB IF THIS GOT FRONTPAGED.

HERE'S A SHITTY RAGE COMIC ABOUT IT


I downvoted you also for being cheesy, but I saw what a good sport you were about it and it really made me smile. Take this plus 1 as a thank you for being sporting when the chips are down. Have a good day.


No, it happens at night too


There was a discussion on /r/circlebroke as to whether it would garner any attention if it was placed next to a picture of Sagan. Apparently it does.


Apparently one featuring Kenan Thompson and James Cameron.


How can you afford a good knife but not a good computer?


Seriously what a queen sized bitch


Who the fuck wouldn't be able to read that?


This is the most tasteless thing I've ever upvoted


Yes im sure, the person who called was apparently upset that I had banned his significant other.


i don't think their actions warrant the use of explosives


Happy cake day bitch!


I don't lather or rinse, but I always repeat.


But the combination of the face and the quote "u mad bro?" is likely a reddit creation


Now : we have adrian ma  before: we dont have adrian ma


Sorry i dont owe troll/novelty accounts explanations


Size: http://i.imgur.com/oUHBr.jpg


A cunt instrument... FTFY


I never want to hear my mother utter the words "It's good lube."


**to be honest i thing that the sticker is conveying that God is more rigt than darwin and that he is the better choice which IMHO is spot on.**

*Christians - 1*

*Atheists - 0*


from what I remember it was just a casual conversation about his poodles I think? All I can remember was that he had a black dog and a white dog


And I hope he is no longer a police officer if he cannot contain primal revenge impulses


Favorite part of the picture: there's a bear in the background.


No, it's black and blue.


To be fair, a strictly increasing sequence doesn't necessarily converge to infinity. Even if it got sharper with every use, there could still be an upper bound to sharpness.


Do you think sex slavery and prostitution are good? If everyone followed the words of prophets and upheld the law of chastity do you realize those things would be gone? Yes vilifying pornography is good for society.


***"I AM WORF NOW WATCH ME SPIN LIKE A PRETTY BUTTERFLY!!"***


Why are you so uptight? Like this joke : how do you starve a Mexican? You hide his food stamps under a bar of soap. Go home with your PG rated humor, you must hate every big name comedian on the market Bc their jokes are far worse than this


About time we get one with a happy ending.


As an unreasonable manager I often fantasize about beating the shit out of my employees, but don't actually do it because I'm religious and an upstanding local citizen. I also believe that in most cases victims of abuse or rape are not to be blamed.


This is the most relevant question. Kids these days see doggie style and assume it's anal!


Zero friends in game? I have over a hundred followers, obviously somebody enjoys playing with me.

Mediocre player? Even you admitted I was good when we were playing, lol @ backpedal.


You mean your dad won the pinewood derby for you.


My circle of friends call it "the justice knee" - back on SSBM


I don't understand why she gets so much hate because, even if you despise her books, she's basically never put a foot wrong. A single mother on benefits who becomes a billionaire through publishing a beloved children's book series and then stops being a billionaire because she gives so much to charity? Yeah, *fuck that bitch*.


Lol, either I'm being called a liar, or...I'm not sure.

All I gotta say is, if you've seen Slumdog Millionaire, I'm pretty much that guy who's too "sweet" to look. It's the same trait that makes me sexually unappealing.


ah, but now you get to experience the 'curated' Buzzfeed/Upworthy version of said content with bonus commentary: "These 17 Gifs of Cats Ignoring Things Are Amazing, but Number 17 Will Make You ROFLMAO"


WTF? America is so f*cked up.


This paragraph was better than all of the fifty shades of grey books.


IF THAT IS WHAT HE MEANT THEN HE SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT INSTEAD.


If you can't cum in 'er, cum honor.


click the OP's screenshots: he has RES installed which lets you see how many times you've downvoted a user. sushi's at -10 on the OP's screenshot, HAH

tl;dr this guy's gettin' mad at video games


Unlimited (adj): (1) without limit, unreserved (2) 4 gigabytes.

*Johnny maxed out on his unlimited data plan before the end of the month.*


That you need a fucking kick in the teeth if you ever answer a question with a smart ass remark again.  you stupid cunt.


Ahhhhh I did this to my ex on the way back from a ski trip. We ate the spiciest goddamn wings ever and had a couple of beers.

Got a little playful in the car with my hand. Cue to me stopping and her sitting butt naked in a snow bank trying to ice off her crotch.

Hilarious for me. not so much for her


Dude, you must do nothing but sit all day because you'd be *fucked* up from smoking that much. That's like almost a half ounce of weed everyday. Fuck, takes me a month to casually finish a half, 10 days if I *really* try.


I'm not even gay and I would love to have glitter shower around me.


>When I was about 5, my uncle started fondling me.

Ewww, what an asshole.

>That worked for about a month, then he threatened to tell if I didn't knock it off. Irony, gotta love it.

=/ i hate this guy.

>I started developing breasts and looked more like a young woman than a little girl

Wait, female? FapFapFap.


Feels Like I Only Go Backwards


Colts fan here, enjoying celebratory pizza.


...but they also gain the least from it.

If you had the choice between a relationship that was characterized by power games and unloving, or by mutual love and trust... which would you choose?


no its not impossible...you simply don't press your mouse button


Fremdschamen - external shame you feel when someone you care about is embarrassed.  Yet another reason I should learn German.


It's still somewhat poor taste to come into an Apple sub and post that.  It smacks of marketing.


You obviously don't know the satisfaction that can be obtained by punching a child in the mouth.


Ya know that Europe is not an actually country, right? You can't move to "Europe."

*"Hey Guys I moved to Asia today! Vietnam, Iraq, or Russia? Who the fuck cares, its all the same continent."

*Keep 'em coming pussies.


If this wasn't scripted, I think they're lucky he/she didn't hysterically push down the gas and run some people over.


Yeah right. I've seen enough karma trains to know this is where people start to get downvoted.


This is absolutely hilarious and somewhat heartwarming.


wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow  no thanks.


*He will live forever in internet lore.*

*A cookie, a bookmark, forevermore.*

*Griffin Kiritsy, of reluctant internet fame,*

*And an absurdly strange first and last name.*


Come on, that's obviously a joke. Don't let that Women's Issues class ruin your sense of humor.


My mom told me not to use Reddit and that it was "something the devil would use."

I whipped out The Origin of Species and I was like "Hey mom, God isn't real and evolution is. Also I'm a liberal atheist. Sarah Palin is an idiot." Then I told her Fox News wasn't fair and balanced and went back to playing Team Fortress 2 by Valve.

Wikileaks.


> Look closer. Try saving it. It's a .gif.

What part of this is condescending? the word "it"?

He made a condescending, insulting post about how expecting people to reverse search webms makes me stupid. I pointed out he is lying. Minus fucking seventeen.


Note to self: Go to Five Guys.


Keep your magic sky fairy bullshit outta here you fucking knobhead.


I like the sound of the Hyneman/Savage ticket.


690 upvotes says you're wrong ;)


I'm not sure what's more sad. the fact that it's come to the point that we've analysed why Mugabe fell over. Or the fact that I'm reading the analyse.


That's totes dick.  IMHO.  Abuse begets abuse.


dont steal from the rich or you'll end up in jail. They dont mind stealing from and screwing over everyone else though.


You deserved it for playing cancer. </3


I'll always upvote whenever this album is posted, but in this case, I don't think OP is a lying asshole.  Just the vibe I'm getting.


you and longmvu have ignored any important information in my post just to defend starbound from what **might** be a post against it


I ain't even mad any more. That's the kind of attitude I think the good Doctor would respect.


They are taunting a caged gorilla... They are the sort of people who don't think about their actions.

This is bullying a misguided individual, this is a mob.


Full disclosure: I am the teacher. Talk about karma whoring!


wow another idiot who praises video game more it should be.

''There's one part in it where you'll want to uninstall the game and never bring it up again. It's the darkest scene I've ever seen in a video game''

gayest thing i have heard in a while. are you the one who plays mario and zelda games all day long?


Don't say it didn't warm you.


> what are the odds that the one guy who gets her pregnant is actually Forrest?

About the same as everything else that's happened to him so far.  It's not so much a "Jenny gets pregnant once out of a gazillion times" its "Forrest gets a girl pregnant his ONE time"  because he's like retardedly lucky


Gosh, people are *really* upset that this isn't Emma Watson.  I think I crushed some dreams today.


He's always been single. He was just thrusting at the air going nininini


Fuck you, that is hard work, don't belittle his time spent by calling it talent.


I give you all my agrees.


Schrodingers Cat.

I have a slight variation of the thought experiment.

Most men, including me, pretty much think women are closet lesbians that will deny being a lesbian if you ask them.

If you think about it, women can be both lesbian and straight, but asking them about their orientation changes that answer, probably to straight only.


Oh shit, it's turning into *that* thread again. I'm not getting any sleep tonight :(


yeah bro, rapists aren't subhuman; retards are.


He would come home eventually - the store would run out of eggs, and so he would no longer be able to get some. The loop would throw an eggception.


new to the internet? I have something for you: google horse mask.


Yes, but its actually a lot smaller than it looks.


Fuck off dumb Americans


She wasn't even wearing Kevlar, obviously she was asking to get shot.


Are they allowed to do anything besides picking cotton?


*falcon punch* -Universal Translator


Fuck off you piece of shit liberal kyke.


The best thing about reddit is that there's always someone who's done something more horrible than whatever you're feeling bad about.


Haven't seen it up but that kind of proves my point even more


If you didn't notice, what you described is basically the plot line of *A New Hope* also. Star Wars movies are about as formulaic as they come, they are just well told and exciting to watch so we like them


Can we stop using reddit invented words like doxes? It's so lame it makes me cringe.


She is the Hamburger of her destruction.

FTFY


No i did that....i did everything....


That's a cute motherfucking story bro.


Incredible what those two midgets can do with a ball.


It's a custom for very long ago that's reserved for only the most honored and highest respect.  It is not done now, so there is a bit if cultural confusion.


Holy *shit*, you didn't know that before? You must've been a giant dumbass if you thought "gay" meant something other than "normal human being who fucks the same sex".


**NONE OF THESE THINGS SHOULD SURPRISE ANYBODY WHO HAS EVER CASUALLY GLANCED AT A WORLD GLOBE!**

But I guess Reddit and /r/mapporn in particular are going to continue to make a big deal about it for the rest of time anyway.

Why not just rename /r/mapporn to /r/mercatorMINDFUCK


6/10 Good time to troll


Bosencrantz Cuildenstern


How does -15 on Reddit feel? I've never felt.
*the feels*


I wonder how amazed they would have been if he had in fact filled the cup
Hilarious story


And it's people like you that thinks that all wow players are anti social nerds, that piss off the normal people that play wow.


I just find it interesting, that's all.

Any time you see a juice like peach, pear, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, kiwi, passion fruit, dragon fruit, banana, mango, guava, etc etc etc, it's almost always just apple juice with flavor added. It's funny because there are no apples on the label, just pictures of tropical fruits or w/e, and then the main ingredient is apples.


Well I meant I didn't click the link, idoit


I want to get completely ripped, go to Planet Fitness, and set off the lunk alarm. When the staff politely requests that I leave I'll scream "TRY AND MAKE ME!" and begin hurling their scrawny bodies across the room. I will become king there, and it will truly become a planet of fitness.


Shouldn't introduce a life into your life if you won't strive to make it happy and work things out to incorporate it into your life.


actually reverse racism is a thing, it's basically to treat people of different ethnicity 100% equal.


It didn't because it's all a bunch of fucking lies and OP is a cocksucker.


And that is why affirmative action programs based on race alone are bullshit. Help people who are poor and needy, not just skin coloured a certain way.


No, it isn't. I can't see why people like that crap. I was drunk off my ass when I watched it and I still couldn't help but notice the insane amount of plot holes.

EDIT: Typical new reddit muppets. Running around downvoting people they don't agree with. It's funny how none of you bothered to take the time to say why you liked the movie.


Got paid a whole summer to do this, I only had to enter some patient data an hour a day and got the rest of the day to play minesweeper.

TL;DR: Got paid a whole summer to do this, I only had to enter some patient data an hour a day and got the rest of the day to play minesweeper.


I'm calling bullshit.

Clearly he severed a head and dressed it up as a pumpkin. Nice try.


I don't wait to not ruin breakfast, I wait because I don't want to dirty my mouth right after cleaning it.  Especially since I drink coffee, which stains teeth, I like to brush right after breakfast to clean everything up.


If we're going to compare worthless internet metrics, I have been here 1/4th the time and reaped almost 3x the link karma and more than 24x the comment karma. You have a lot of catching up to do!


I am definitely retarded.


Dodge doesnt count as a loss. Dodging auto fails your promos completley no matter what

Edit: People disputing this here is an old thread on the forums. Must have changed it, never noticed when they did but this was once the case

http://forums.euw.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?t=1047045


poke the shit out of him. multiple times a day, every day, for years.


** I N C E P T I O N**


Well, of course. They're all there in bright red capital letters.


YOLO

Yes I know I deserve the downvotes I get for this


Try with lube or a condom instead?


> This is due to the fact that Hamas has repeatedly used these ships as a means of importing weapons to use in attacks on Israel.

A general question; who prevents the Israeli government from importing weapons used to attack Palestine?


in Japan they make the kids clean the school until they graduate.
We have groundskeepers for things like, pruning the hedges or oiling doors or changing lightbulbs, but the toilet cleaning, floor sweeping / waxing / mopping, blackboard cleaning, window cleaning, taking out the trash, etc. is all done by the students from grades 1-12.


English (I know, not the hardest, but still.)


And this is a silly distinction to make in the first place.

Network traffic has always been measured in bits, every other ISP also states speeds in bits.

Comcast never sold a 16MB/s connection, it's always been 16Mb/s.


nobody would, it's a lie obv


I masturbated to a unicorn for 10 minutes before I realized you could click on it and get a bunch of porn..

But since I'm halfway there....

**Edit: 800+ Karma for comment on a porn-site related post... I bet all my ex-wives feel stupid now!**


Hey Pump. I see you still have nothing better to do even after your wife almost *died* of cancer. It's like she suffered for nothing since you can't be bothered to spend time with her anyway. Maybe she would have been better off dying.


Isn't that the plot to a Jimmy Neutron episode?

Edit: It was indeed similar to the plot of the first episode, in which self folding pants gained sentience. Thank you all for informing me. Have a wonderful day!


Sure, it's largely subjective. But I think that I provide a valuable service to redditors since they are able to see the favorite comment of someone who has been on reddit for over 2 months and knows her way around the site. Lots of times I unearth buried comments that most wouldn't see otherwise.


I'm a huge fan of thousand island, but only when the salad is iceberg or romaine lettuce-based. If the main ingredient is spinach or arugala, I like a nice lime vinaigrette.


>What!?!?!?! *lame, cliche bullshit* on r/funny!?!?!?

FTFY


"It was a guy called Bob. Bob Smith. He lives in Dallas. He got a trophy and everything."

I'm going to be such a *dick* when I have kids.


But is it possible it "slipped" in somewhere by accident? A place the female cop didn't look? Here let me illustrate what I'm talking about:

      \         /


And cheated on his wife... that's another one to keep to yourself.


Wait for it.. Wait for it..


Ah, I got a 35 on my ACT. AND I'M DOING HIV RESEARCH THAT'S ABOUT TO GET PUBLISHED TOO.

Cheers.


Because that's totally what I said.


He goes for handshake.

Say 'Don't be so silly!' with a wink.

Embrace him with a hug.

Pinch his ass.

Whisper 'Hi' in his ear.


http://www.armytimes.com/story/military/2015/02/06/chapman-fort-hood-soldier-death/23004777/

It happens every single day. Every day. Are we going to have memorial threads every day cause a cadet dies or a soldier falls off their motorcycle?

OP just HAD to say he was a West Pointer, too

And of course had his cadet buddy back him up


**Left Click to Renegade Interrupt**

*Shepard murders a small village in Italy*

O_O


Did you have to reply to that?


I get the best image of the doctor putting a bowl of ice cream at the base of her vagina, then squeezing her stomach and dispensing the now-hot syrup, thus creating a sundae.


y only from soutwest humm maybe ur just only flyin them??


It's called Blank Space


Well no shit, bitch. That's pretty fucking obvious. Maybe you should explain *how* he can make it more relatable to them.


Nobody fucks uncles quite like her.


I don't know how this is a joke video, but I don't know why people need to believe it's real either.
I'm glad it's "exposed" but it was still funny.


Or a progressively annoyed Aaron Paul in a series of photos with redditors.


>The un-American among is us you.

STFU idiot, you can't even put together a proper sentence.


Twist: the real bullying is by her, to intimidate people who offer a critical, yet measured opinion in private only to have it broadcast very publicly.


Any chance he plays a real fighting game now?


I just hope my daughters are never this dumb.


There is no situation that the homeless guy should have said ANYTHING to your 4 year old daughter. Yes, your daughter displayed respect, but I would rather my kids know NEVER to talk to people like that (at that age). What you did was right, and that homeless man was WRONG ENTIRELY for speaking to your daughter.


You never let your wife get ahead in an argument.


Or there are just not as many of you as you think.


believe it or not, he's a friendly guy


Yet for some reason you clicked this thread, read comments and posted shit, but a link to a documentary is your limit?  Your reluctance should have kicked in a while ago.


Wow never heard that but yes it sounds very similar.

I remember one day the inmate was really freaking out and crying. I asked him what was wrong and he told me another inmate told him that Jeff escaped and ran away. I then spent the next 15 minutes walking around the unit looking for a invisible/imaginary damn dog. Finally he "saw" Jeff and everything was better.


Yeah, everyone is out to get you.  People suck, society sucks.  Or it's because everyone knows you're a weirdo creep with 50 gb of anime porn.  And furries = ponies


Your mom did right. Good for you for learning from it!


A) She went home or something, I don't know, I'm not a stalker, and
B) I didn't post the rest of the fight between me and the asshole mother fucker.


I'd say it depends more on the company health plan.


He did not see batman. it was to dark.


I would never have put these pieces together, but I think you're completely right. I love it when other Redditors do smart things dammit


>and pray he can't deal 3 more damage on his turn

The mage, with one card in hand another on the draw, can't deal 3 extra damage? I think I'll just pray to win the lottery instead lol.


To be fair, that was "at worst".


I could have done that, but it's just....*PUT ON SUNGLASSES*

...not my style.


Hey, I'd pay to cuddle and a movie.

I also do not get laid. These two facts are not coincidental.


I can do whatever I want so fuck you.


Someone needs to make one of those inspirational wallpapers with "Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't" -Bill Nye the Science Guy on it.


Alexis isn't even in the top 3 best players at Arsenal. Özil, Koscielny, Ramsey. All had better form than Alexis this time last season.

Also Aguero, Hazard, Diego Costa, etc.


*how dry do you want it?*


wtf are you doing on reddit? i thought ur emo fake ass made your own subreddit for your dick riders? Just like i thought u just wanted more attention and were never going actually stop posting on reddit. Fucking loser get lost


Parents: "**AAAAH!**"

lovelyamar: "**AAAAAAAAH!!**"

Him:"**AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!**"

*spurt*


Let's be fair, calling people a "faggot" isn't homophobic. It's just a word used to offend people.


Baby Seal Freshman

Goes to club

Dies


I wish I could up vote this twice.


It's okay, because he's some sort of super mutated organism that can breathe in space.


MY DADDY TOUCH MY BRODER JONATON'S BANANA CAWSE HE WAS BEING DA BAD COOKIE MONSTA!!!!!!!!!!!! LE GOO GA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This is, in all seriousness, the best analogy I've ever read *for anything*. Thank you.


I used to post gifs, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Turning off the water fountains actually was likely illegal.

Water must be available for patrons at events that could lead to dehydration or heat exhaustion.  They can sell you cups, BUT they must always be willing to provide a free source of water.


Lol, I'm getting down voted, but I'm gonna hold my head up and take it like a man who isn't a pussy.

Scott Brooks is wishing that LeBron would sit out. He might as well have wished injury on the guy.


You are the right kind of person


Analogy.

Edit: If only I could get the record for most down votes. I can't tell you how awesome that would be lol. I'll down vote myself to help the cause.

Edit: Someone upvoted me. Stop it. Take it back now.


That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose


Fucking disgusting dude


I wasn't needed for this one.


This. People. This guy fucking gets it. Internet high fives FOR SCIENCE.

Edit: FFS, the guy who doesn't get the joke gets an upvote and my honest excitement over a biology joke gets reamed. Fuck all y'all.


... Dwight? Is that you?


It's just not very funny


But first, lemme take a selfie!

*flash*

But first, lemme take a selfie!

*flash*

But first, lemme take a selfie!

*flash*

But first, lemme take a selfie!

*flash*


That would be stupid and pointless.


Have you ever fought someone outside of competition? Did you ever fight a bully?


not as high as the dubai tower doe [7]


>Uh, dude, you're going to get killed.

No he isn't, because it's 100% bullshit.


Never heard of you.

Wow, I just saw a clip of you on you tube. You're truly disgusting. Lose some fucking weight.

Since when did fat nobodies get to do AMAs?


I'd take this one step further. Show her that you're a genius and then when she freaks out and goes to tell the principal what a prodigy she's found he comes and asks for a demonstration. Then act like an oblivious 5 year old.

Mindfuck that teacher for years by occasionally whispering physics concepts or political opinions to her when no one else is around.


I know male rape is real but you have to be a pretty weak guy mentally and physically to allow it to happen.


You can charge the corn dog quickly and completely by putting it in the microwave for a minute or so.


god you people are pathetic. the dog is incapable of thoughts like that.

use better grammar too haha


thanks,it was dark and I couldn't hear.


Every fucking time he's mentioned. Why? All of his jokes that I've heard seem to be pretty much the same. And he's been dead at least as long as I've been on reddit, so I don't know why people haven't gotten over it yet.


Since yesterday... SINGED FKING NOOB CHAMPION CAN ONLY RUN AWAY AND BE ANNOYING!


Back off, hipster. This is my thread...


* Bullets
* Good observations
* Clever ending sentence

See you at the top my friend.


Tell them you accidentally wrote it down Wednesday the 4th so you wanted to confirm the time and date.


Why not dump a shit on the floor while we're at it? If enough people do this at a daily basis, they would have to hire more people to clean it up. WE'RE CREATING JOBS PEOPLE.


Yeah, it only took about 6 years.


and you're giving tips? lmfao stop wasting ur time and get good low elo trash


well.. I used to do it when I was a kid and dinner was taking too long.


>"fucking noob jet, stop ramming our heli"

FTFY

Edit: More downvotes please!!!!!! IT FEEDS MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!


Kaepernick retires to pursue his "swag".


Well clearly it was ops fault they got divorced in the first place.


I don't even bother waiting to make a left turn to go across the street to save 25 cents on a tank. Which ever gas station is on the right wins.


if you are unprofessional you deserve it


I'm a fat white chick and I was absolutely amazed at her body and it never even crossed my mind to feel even the tiniest bit offended by it.


I never said it was the ACT of falling, I said it was used to describe the force that causes the free fall.

>[–]Mav986 -2 points 38 minutes ago
**We use gravity to describe WHY things are in free fall.**


Sweden: the parents get 480 days of paid leave to share (of which 390 are at about 80% of the salary, the rest at a lower rate). 30 days is reserved for each parent. In addition, fathers get up to 10 days off after the child has been born to help the mother out at home.

It's become quite common for dads to take out more than 90 days now.


Boo hoo, your pedophilia ridden sub reddits got banned.


Shitty_Watercolour is a stranger who often makes my day.


Anita criticizes male portrayals of women sold to men and marketed to men.

Rev60 is not 'the same thing' as what she is criticizing. It is made by women and marketed to women.

Do you people honestly not understand that women portraying women for women is different from men portraying women for men? Is this really a foreign concept to you?


And again in days if future past. "we met long ago, so I'll simply say what you told us when we came to you for help. Fuck off"


Translation: VV likes 'em drunk so he can slip in unnoticed.


That friend of yours deserves a fucking Nobel Prize.


I suggested that he link directly to the images on his own site first instead. If he objected to paying for the hosting if it got a lot of traffic, he could use imgur. The moderators have discussed this and not really come to a final consensus, but for the most part it's been agreed that we want direct, ad-free links to images in r/pics. I was upholding that policy.


My grandma is fucking dead she doesn't remember shit.


Seems like you are straying from the original argument that in reality there are NO SOLUTIONS offered or granted by student loan companies. OHHHHHHH....its a "gray area". Aka, 0 fucks given by anyone and nothing will stop it.


Why do they get "escorted from the premises" and not "escorted to jail"?


Be that as it may, if you find any pleasure out of people puking on themselves/others you have no place living.


"Wow fire, I am outta here"

-Rolls away-

Roll out bitches.


I did it, you're welcome.


Great hands-on experience.


There are safe spaces, and then there are inward-looking, self-reinforcing circlejerks.

/r/MensRights is not a safe space.


Soldier in Afghanistan here, FOUND SAND.


/r/thathappened

fuck yes, bring on the downvotes.


Anyone that would judge me for using a coupon is someone I'd rather not date.


Right, "Iron Man 3" is art. Fucking idiot, read a book.


So basically a prison shower with tv's and seats.


I was just asking a fucking question.

I don't give a fuck if you think it's right or wrong.


So you reproduce by budding?


I don't live in Iran. But also... Our society is fucked upon another level


***User is now in Guantanamo bay.***

Thanks for waiting everyone.

Edit:Boy that escalated quickly.  Haha


Hahaha, way to shit up a completely unrelated thread with generic "but what about MY oppression" nonsense.


>feeling pretty fucked

No, you aren't.


Griefing makes minecraft a tad more exciting.       Also, it is very easy to prevent it if you know what you are doing


Personally, I want a JK Simmons JJJ scene! Something silly about needing photos of the Avengers, so he picks up his phone and screams "GET ME PETER PARKER!"

Or he could just come on screen and yell nonsense, I just love that guy so much.


MAH NIGGA! This video is even better, the guys from the car holy shit this is AWESOME.

Then the fucker that tries to run away like a little pussy gets it in the back HAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA die motherfucker DIE motherfucker DIE!!


twist ending: they're his own legs


it's supposed to be a prosthetic, but i suppose it could be some type of exoskeleton in the future as this is just a concept atm


Of maybe parents should fuck off cause those two kids were having fun.


They will, losing the pyramids means an incredible loss of revenue


broader implications of what? Apple makes laptops that cater to more creative endeavors (e.g. journalists) and Microsoft makes laptops that cater to business-focused endeavors (e.g. IT administration). How on earth do you go from that to the media being 'unrepresentative'? If anything, Apple has democratized media production by lowering the barrier to entry.


Dismemberment so its easier to carry fat people out of a burning house


Since we're on the topic of how much it is.  It's slightly less than what I'm expecting for my Feb bonus check.

edit:  Yay Reddit's inferiority complex.  Someone says it's more then they make in a matter of fact (I doubt Raider6501 was fishing for sympathy) manner and they get upvotes.  Someone says it's less than what they make in an equally (not bragging) matter of fact manner and downvotes.


Must be nice to be Mitt Romney.

Whatever is hanging out of my dog's anus.  Plucked out with my teeth.


The other way round. OP is like the girl in the vid


I'd avoid putting a return address on the letter in the first place. Not only would he not be able to write you back, but then there is no chance of a surprise visit. Maybe I'm just paranoid...


That guys has no idea of anything. He's a world class fuckwit and Zero Punctuation is the only good thing he's ever done.


I hate sleeping in my bed alone at night, I want to cuddle and watch a movie with a guy, but who would pay for that. I love being able to meet so many cool people.


Uh because she's right. She gave him **no** reason to snoop, and just because he found something doesn't vindicate it.

If he didn't find something he still would have violated her trust, and probably continued to look.


You don't need to be shy! You're beautiful! Please message me and be my girlfriend because I complimented a picture of your anus!


Can't. Upvote. Enough.


We gonna crap,

Brown Poo!

Electric Avenue!


haha.. i was just just gona say, she's also gona get her own diabetes kit as well.. :P


I picked up "Jane, you ignorant slut" from watching SNL as a kid...


Not much of an explanation. How did he avoid being pinned under or struck by any part of the ice? Did it remain a column and just fall straight down without shooting off any shrapnel? Did he push off of the ice while falling? How much of his safe landing was due to skill and how much was dumb luck?


Please tell me that there's just one member of her family called 'Dave' who doesn't get on well with the rest of them.


It's the fact that it WAS a man that's gross. That's just not natural. Like if i took some girl home after a date and found out it was actually a guy‚ I'd beat the fucking shit out of him.

You have no idea how repulsed I am...


You put lipstick on you chin, neck and belly?


I mean, so because most are like that (which by the way, isn't even necessarily true anymore by the time most of them become fathers themselves) that fact that he is happens to make him a more "adorable" father than other people who are not rock stars?

I don't get it.


HOLD ON A SECOND...... Chris.....LudaCRIS.... well my mind is blown, I'll see you all tomorrow.


That's what op said..


I love how she just... knew...


Somebody isn't a dad


I actually thought the whole point was this guy grabbed her boob randomly. It wasn't until the fifth horrifying play through that I realized I should have been horrified on the first.


I honestly didn't know, I don't normally surf adviceanimals but I thought of it today and I had to go for that glorious karma.


Yeah, except I don't have to constantly hear "I did nazi that coming, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed."


You mean 12 Years(A Slave)


"It's probably running low already, grandma. I'll come replace it for you. My only fee is some of those delicious homemade cookies"


Fuck off.

Edit: wow, I messed up on this one. I misread the commission report as a 9/11 truther document. Sorry everyone! Really dropped the ball on this one.


I have no job, so here.
http://youtu.be/FgTq-AgYlTE


>I got Gran Turismo 5 for free from them

Sorry for your loss


I wouldn't switch out soy for regular. Allergies are serious business.


"People are also scum for trying to get people to sign away their rights to their own independent creative works, in perpetuity."
i lol'd


Any party where guests are required to bring money is no party, it's a fundraiser.


Really? This makes you glad? What an interesting life you lead.

Edit: Woah looks like I angered le reddits! Lolz. Since my post went over all of your heads, I was being sarcastic. Figured I'd clear that up for all those redditors sitting at home with aneurysms because they couldn't comprehend what I was trying to convey.


Don't forget cookies, candy and crystal met- geodes.


Wow, you sound like a little faggot who just needs to stop being afraid of pussy.


how girl get pragnent


Go fuck yourself. This isn't his personal blog. We don't know the guy who died, why should we care?


I volunteer.

I will take every disease in the world if it means curing everyone else.


Spoiler alert. Boston probably won't.


Oooh big shot over here can afford ass wax.


You have a very sad life


that's good... I would change it slightly to be:
large conference room and announce that after I say "go", the first person to get completely naked and give me a high five get's 500k. I'd open a briefcase of cash to prove I'm for real... and for dramatic purposes.


so apparently UK cops are the same kind of violent jackbooted thugs that American cops are


. . . soon to be broken by the sound of fap


No it was just some good times after a football game.


Roses are red
Violets are blue
I just masturbated furiously to you


i saw him at atlanta near the varsity on north holding a cup of urine


You married a
champion.


You're a fucking idiot if you think everything should be free.

Games should be free too because you can pirate them, right? Fuck you and anyone else who thinks this way.


Pssh, what's the worst that could happen?

Oh right, the stabbing.


I've stopped everywhere else. I've ignored several things that have shown up in my inbox. Couldn't ignore this one.


The inner monologue is strong with this one.

I can't imagine how to think without hearing that running commentary either.

Edit:  Wow, came back to some good stuff here.  Put some more of my personal experiences [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/128ce5/blind_people_dont_see_black_they_see_nothing/c6t9eaq) because I find the differences in how people think amazing.


Because reddit is

*reterrrded*


HOLLA FO YO GOLLA!!!!!!


do you have to be in junior high to know who this is or why anyone would care?


Actually you can suck a girls clit easily. From my experience it drives women wild and makes them come quick. The clit can be drawn GENTLY into your mouth and massaged. When her breathing changes, keep doing it like that.


How is this even a competition?


Baby, you were born that way.


You are the chosen one!
The comment to light the way in the darkness, and save us from the mighty rain of cold, blue death.


Holy shit it is... I didn't even realize.  My mind should buy you dinner, cause you just blew it.


Yes mrs/mr. Polygamy.


GTA: San Andreas answer: Pull a rocket launcher out of your ass, blow the fucker up, Make a helicopter appear out of thin air and drop it on the corpse.


Seriously, most kids od on this shit because of peer pressure.  Smoke every minute of everyday or your not cool.


Same with almost all other breeds of dogs...


The video doesn't remind you of the anecdote. You just wanted to tell that shitty story and found no place to put it so you just placed it randomly here -.-


I feel like the post was a riddle and you solved it.


>He could have known the answer sure

He may well have known, I'm just amazed he would know about Marseille winning Ligue 1 in 1990/1991, surely that's not common knowledge?


It's tricky down there when you're young. Hard to get a good look...3 holes all sort of close together. And historically girls have been deprived of in-depth conversation about our girly bits from our mothers. A lot of us had to figure it all out on our own, before the internet even.


Mate shut the fuck up with your hippyesque apathetical, given up on the world who is too stupid to learn attitude.


Jerk off, lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym


then it must be american made


technically she wouldn't be going to prom alone


I think it's a fair question that illustrates there is no absolute scientific consensus.


I'm pretty sure she's the Boston bomber.


Isn't that cute, you think that Reddit is an actual representation of the general population.

Hint: More than 60% of the population do not want the federal government regulating the internet.


TIL: when distressed, evoke boner for comfort


Then you are free to post here.


EVERY THREAD. EVERY SINGLE ONE.


No it's definitely a CinemaSins thing. It's kinda crazy for someone to get so downvoted when they were just pointing out the source material.

edit: and now I'm being shot down too WOOOO REDDIT IS GRREAT


I don't know... reading the article seems like a lot of work.


There's a lot of PC people who would say it would be worth more than a normal one..


Yeah, this sounds like a fun, cheeky idea at a bar, but a family restaurant, it seems like it would mostly lead to the kind of awkward scenarios you mentioned


Only if he's poor as fuck and doesn't have unlimited.


No one ever warned me about the Melty Man

I wish sex ed would have warned me about the Melty Man :(


How many weekly "Russia is bad" posts vs all the shit our governments do? Just because we don't agree with their views don't mean we have to keep constantly attacking them every fucking time, and for what? To achieve absolutely nothing.


rolling blunts and smoking blunts...


The message is the same but the style is completely wrong.  There is literally not one post like this one on the front page of r/circlejerk.


As well as us being alone in the universe or there being something else out there both just boggle the mind.


So his personal project trumps watering rules in a drought?  Also fuck your god.


rude people are ignorant of manners


> Those are some _hot_ pictures.

FTFY.


Probably paralyzed with fear.


It can really make any site look malicious

http://5z8.info/facebook-of-sex_z0g6_startdownload


Ugh, reminds me of girls who, when you debate something with a friend, say something like "this is stupid stop arguing".


Stop trying to give advice. You don't exist.


i googled "gary indiana"

one of the first results were, "Gary Indiana is a serial killers playground"


Unless he got molested by the truth fairy.


SHE BECAME POSSESSED BY A FUCK DEMON AND THEN ENGAGED IN SEXUAL INTERCOURSE FOR THE NEXT 5 YEARS.


I know son.... I raised you.... I know you better than you think!


Wow, this is horrible. Please tell me they didn't get the money.


This shit is exactly why those in Korea and Japan have **very** negative views of western foreigners.

This pictures pisses me off to no end.


FUN TO DRIVE UP HERE IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS.


What is the point of this video?


Google calculator: two liters = 405.768272 US teaspoons

Average cumshot: 1/2 teaspoon - equals to about 812 cumshots distributed throughout the year.

2,2 cumshots daily.

Perfectly doable!


He is not some idiot, he is her boyfriend.


I just emailed you just in case.


So what? I am sick of people complaining about reposts. Why don't you go watch another episode of Star Trek, or would that be too hypocritical?


The book came out like 2 thousand years ago man.


Look. The reality is blacks hate whites. So it doesn't matter what you call them: they will turn around and call you "racist", "ignorant", and demand you call them "pink fairies" or whatever the latest rap buzzword for "black" is.


Ironically, I had to Google LMGTFY.


No idea why you got voted down, maybe people are ashamed that you would express what they were thinking.


Uhhh, dude... Jeremy killed himself in front of his classmates. Didn't you see the Pearl Jam video?


Lol that was the captions that my friend posted on facebook. He is a redneck :D America gets him real exited


Looking at a boob is never wasted time. Boob glance first, followed by ring,  then back to boob...  Ring just determines if you should talk to them.


Took me a few minutes but I managed to beat *to* it.


Hahaha, that is seriously the best case of "fuck this shit, I'm eating it all"


This also does, but this doesn't.


Suddenly I remember being dared to hump a television and walk around my parents party making broad wanking gestures before I was old enough to know what it meant.

Lordy, the shit parents must witness that you don't remember doing.