Glad to see this is the top comment for this question, as it was last time. And the time before that.


Even though this Family Guy circle jerk makes me cringe, I took the time to google it, and the correct quote is this one, two miles away. Not three miles away as asserted by Dakotaleek.


That could actually be very useful, you can use them to build so many things.


I left my comments. All of them. You can also look at my userpage to find ones that might have been mod deleted. Pics or GTFO


Correct answer: "That's my wife."


You got this from overclock.net didnt you?

Anyways, PSU's are pretty safe assuming you dont go full retard and mess around with a bargain bin PSU, a damaged one, or mess with one while its on.


What is this???

AN OPTIMISTIC POINT OF VIEW? LOGIC? A PRESUMABLY RATIONAL EXPLANATION?

^GET ^OUT.


I didn't see your comment but I'm upvoting you because of your username.


It should've stopped resisting


You guys are just being bullying me now. -


James says that he doesn't smoke weed.


LmAo **nOoOOOoooooo0000000000O** DoN't DoOo ThAt !!! iiiiiiiii'Ts A ScAm He JuSt WaNtS YoUr MoNeY !!!


I bet they double downed on each other.


yes the warlock is out of cards. my point is can you call something a top deck when it was literally one of the last cards in your deck?


Oh man the Pokemon black market in middle school was a hell of a lot more organized than the drug black market in high school


Don't cut yourself on that edge.


The only good course of action would be to drop what you were doing, whisper "I've been compromised" into your wrist just loud enough for her to hear it and steadily make your way to the nearest exit.


I can't seem to find a full copy unfortunately. Plus a separate letter detailing other recipients is also important as it assigned some additional funds.

Looking back on my wording, it probably seems like an attack. It's not. I want an honest answer to this.


Man, the pink ones are where it's at anyway!


your mom named you after her vagina


Give them a sandwich instead you goddamn enabler


lol white people comedy them whities laugh at everything i'm black btw


You'd be in therapy in no time.


You *were* warned, and you've said as much previously. Just because it wasn't karmanaut specifically who did the warning, doesn't me it didn't take place.

And if the warning is the only issue, it's a simple enough matter to point out that a warning isn't necessary at all.


HAHAHAHAHA FUCK, hindsight


HE will always be a man. Just because He cut HIS dick off, that does not change HIS DNA.


she actually liked it... she got a little wet in the ass.. NOOTCH


"pity fucked" huh. you're a loathsome human being and nobody would miss you if you died, which i hope happens soon :)


90% of these threads are debunked by going no further than the fucking wikipedia page.

Edit: I'm not saying to rely on Wikipedia. What I'm talking about is how when even Wikipedia doesn't agree with your spurious "facts" you have an issue.


I SPOKE TO SOON! THE HUMANITYYYYY

Edit: Nevermind, there we go, bring on the downvotes fuckers. I got 4.2k karma to burn. all of you are brave as shit.


http://i.imgur.com/2PSMI1U.jpg here


They would be able to after this split, because Piglet would be grandfathered in.


Seems like an appropriate thing to say to the president of Nigeria.


You just never got the vinyl edition. Newfag.


"cthulu linksys pls dont steal"


wow that much fat sex?

must have smelled bad at that camp


One day my idiot friend coughed first, but the fart lasted longer. And it was one of those cut to black and silence scenes. Very dramatic stuff happening and suddenly everyone hears ^pppffffffffftt


Mathematically no, not worth a try. Down voted.


That's super cool dude.

Listen, that's mine now. I'm gonna totally repost that in a week and get hella karma.

Thanks.


I dunno if this is a dad thing but my dad has been commando for like 25 years. I just don't know how you do it, the inside of jeans aren't that comfortable.

EDIT: So a rough analysis of all the comments on this: It's about 50-50 with major factors being getting your junk zipped up, and on a positive note, it can be very nice with pants such as corduroys.


Apart from those fucked up eyes, if I had to wake up next to that every morning I would claw out my own eyes.

I don't get why people insist on coddling people like this, she is not a blind person who looks normal, she is a blind person with really fucked up eyes that make her look like a freak. Its OK to say so.


The queen's reaction to the cranky earmuff lady does it for me.


I used to ride the karma trains, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Reddit's newest concern:

The apostrophe you put in "concerns"


Reddit has over 174 million users, I don't think building a windmill means he has more ambition than all of those people. Also, this is technology that's been around for 3,000 years (outside of Africa). The only reason it's impressive is because black Africans have an average IQ of 70 and no one expects anything from them.


tell me they didn't get your dick


ummm okay u know that there are black people on this site and they are mad if they saw your comment that makes blacks call them masters u know about slavery in history right? im just saying be more sensitive and take a step back and make sure ur not being racist before u write someting like that okay

upvote if you agree


The receiver did not maintain control all the way to the ground


what if two gays somehow made a child, what if two dykes? IT WONT HAPPEN humanity needs both the dick and vagina to strive. Xbox the dick and sony the vag, thats self explanitory, without out both life will surly fail


Wow. She seems to be trying so hard to be famous for his fame.


every woman poops... I don't get this whole "women I find attractive don't poop because I'm not comfortable with the idea" bullshit

edit: okaayyy


Pavlov? That name rings a bell.


I troll all the time. You just don't see me because I'm all the way down there.


No, not at all. There are many immigrants in the UK.


Spotted the American guys. Pointing out the joke so we all know. God forbid a joke has some subtlety to it.


Kid got his ass handed to him by his girlfriend and her father over and over only to be dumped. Jeez.


Yet people still act like they're owed something for it today.


Also because she hated Will Smith (actor) and they would frequently disagree with each other.


A bunch of lil tards doing the same thing. That's the explanation?

EDIT: Yes, let the hatred flow through you!


Damn ^ that dude is tiny


Ummm so you risked him not becoming president and instead voted for a senile idiot only because you are a republican??? Way to put country first!


In my head I ignored the grammatical errors and read it as, "Am I..." instead.

Brains are weird.

Edit: haha 1693 upvotes. 1693 has 69 in it. Good job guys. High fives all around.


Pretty sure it works more as a way to hold on to the women you allready have. I don't know that many people that get women being an asshole,  but I know a lot of women that really enjoy abusive relationships.


Those cartoonists have the biggest balls I've ever seen.  Respect.


well that's not very nice.

edit: i understand why the above comment is being downvoted, but why this one? any of you downvoters want to ELI5 or is this just splashback from above?


I am the husband.

My wife was still asleep.  I woke her up with "The toilet won't flush.  My poop is too big."

She just went "....what?" and went back to sleep.


You must be some type of genius to come up with this solution. Actually on second thought common sense isn't your strong suit. You must have been very frustrating to a lot of people (teachers, parents, me right now, rofl.).

The difference is the racist joke was a joke. What my mans said wasn't a joke and was just racist.

Not sure how that is hard to get.


>Old people left, still pissed.

Good thing they had a to-go cup.


Yes, I knew this. I was referring to typical modern industrialize nations. Sorry if it was un-pc of me not to include every backwater fuck that ever lived.


SO HAS THE PREGNANT WOMAN!!!


I didnt ask for your opinion


>No, then he'll know that exists.

That's hilarious.

Edit: I hope he makes you grilled cheese whenever you see him these days.


What is your weight and height? I can guarantee you that you aren't eating enough if this is your morning meal.


TL;DR - This guy gave his whole school worms.


But... that's a little gay...

EDIT: HOOOOOOLY SHIT... ALL THIS NEGATIVE KARMA. Let me explain myself...
I said it would be a little gay because it was referencing The White Stripes' song "We're gonna be friends", which talks about a little boy and a little girl at the start of school, no need to put me under a shitshower, please!


If proof was provided, I think only the crazy atheists would do that. The normal ones will probably switch religions.


I wouldn't want to see Gaston beat anyone to be honest :/ I'd want to see Belle showing up and beating them both.

Also, do kids nowadays know who Gaston is?


MRWORLDWIDE

Edit: Highest rated comment kthx


So cis hets are entitled to education and to not be yelled at, but lgbt people aren't entitled to not have to listen to hurtful speech?

Do you know what entitlement means?


*Checks profile*

1 million combined karma.

Will not argue there.

EDIT: OMG the karma, courtesy of /u/stkbr


I definitely disagree. Being female by the way, I'll admit its not terrible and its really not difficult to gain or have a nice ass, but it is definitely not anywhere near nice. She looks awful.


I hate how all of the reply comments are completely avoiding the subject of *why* it's bad while simultaneously going "OH MY GOD IT'S SO BAD AMIRITE"

It sucks for someone who isn't familiar with the place.


Not really.  Only the stupid or young will lend him the authority required to get his assumptive humor.  It's a specific humor and that's it, no potential.

You producers know what i mean.

Plus I would punch him in the face.  He's so pnchable.


He could have caused a lot of injuries; Awesome!


What service are they providing that you are thankful for?

Edit: Glad intellectual discussion thrives on Reddit.


Pretty sure this problem isn't specific to your model. It's a well known fault with the make.


Welp you've got me.  I wasn't great at something so I made it a point to be better at it and I did.  Chalk a victory up for me I'd say.


Ohhh I hope he ended up having to cleam dishes all damn night.


There is jizz up my buttt


Sure it is, bed wetter.


Stopped hanging around you because you're an autistic assburger that cannot recognize empathy on other persons and makes you say horrible things without knowing the consequences.

T: Doctor Txampion.


Correct, you are one uptight asshole. Why do you want to know personal details about this girl's life?


What does it mean in Finnish?


Dude, seriously? My boyfriend made me something sweet using online references that he knew would make me smile. It really doesn't need to be picked apart. Appreciate it for what it is or click a different picture. Easy.


Shit, I keep going to the wrong parties if I'm missing stuff like this.


^ sums up everything about liberal america on one sentence!


And defend it as a joke.


I ain't give no fucks


Twist. They are bacteria.


Agreed, but reality check: Iran is the worse country by any measure.

It is a fact that all manners of liberty and fun are punishable with jail, lashes and even death in Iran (homosexuality included), see:

Iran: Happy video dancers sentenced to 91 lashes and jail

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-29272732


Bush accomplished this *while in office*. 2003-2008. The effects of this policy will affect the health of Africa for *decades*.


That's not embarrassing, what's embarrassing is that they needed to beat Chelsea reserves at home, Palace who had nothing to play for away and Newcastle who also had nothing to play for at home, and they bottled it.  What makes it further worse is that they were celebrating like they had already won the league prior to the Chelsea game because they were that damn arrogant about the whole thing.


Sounds like a good place to start.


Let me guess; you're just going to dismiss this as the ratings of a teenager, right? I don't mean any of it, right? Maybe I do. What then? Just because I'm younger than you doesn't mean I can't have my own thoughts, not does it make yours any more important.


**PROVE** you are not a goat, ***LARRY***

Don't dodge the question, Larry.


Not even a fun game really


Would the two of you be interested in making a movie?


I would argue that women are way better at that, but I think it is more of what one likes to see in figure skating than objective "better".

*Seriously!? Asserting that women are actually better in something than men gets me negative votes. Today I have lost faith in reddit.


Not in college, no. People save that for summer, winter break, etc.


It was a joke, lighten up.


My lvl 71 Skyrim character got corrupted

Goddam titty mods :(

Edit: i just checked and it was Lvl 79 :( RIP R'Zeno


Its been a rough 9 years...:(


That ejaculated quickly


So black...Them damn niggers gotta be shot.


It's actually no longer branded with Hitachi because the company didn't want to be connected to vibrators, it's just called the "Magic Wand" now.


Bahahahaha may over 9000 upboats find there way to your reply, good sir!


To connect the... K dots?


gtfo you nazi scum. my grandpa kicked the shit out of you krautfuckers back in the day


As would I.

Marrying a rapist isn't exactly my idea of my dream wedding.


Your league is too bad for him anyway. The US don't really deserve good players as it stands, and imo big players should just retire instead of going to MLS. I get the money type situation, but it must be fucking humiliating to go from the prem to mls.

EDIT: Oh boy, did people not agree with this.


Likeness factor: 100%


Unprofessionalism and Riot are synonymous.


Upvote for "Nice ghost things"


Your one to talk, SemenThrower ಠ_ಠ


Well there's the fan theory that James Bond is a codename given to all 007's that's how he's been able to change what he looks like more than the Doctor


*Alaskan Bush People* airing on the Discovery channel at 8/7c!


Glad you're still with us mate


You're a fag.

You're a fag.


This lesson in justice brought to you by spermface


He's so charmingly perplexed..


Maybe it's the swastika armband.


People like you are the reason xtianity is so widespread. Grow a pair and stand up for your lack of beliefs.


Two people reunited because of lesbian teachers.


I find this hard to masturbate to. Lol lol..

Just shut up, please?


"Ah! Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Flaccid Johnson!"


But..you just talked about them.


I hope you are up to speed with the latest penal code.


That's funny. It's funny because girls can't orgasm and don't like sex. They just like the idea of being important enough for a baby.


The lady says that he ran a red light?!...The nerve of some people, I'm buying a dash cam pronto.


That's actually, "Shit, camera.  Now everyone will realize what a loser I am and that no one likes me."


Irrelevant comments from /r/bestof thread start here


He's not?

Then I stand corrected. His pet may indeed by just like an infant.


Oh don't sell yourself short. You could easily kill 1000+ if you ram two A380's together.


I used to work for Insight BB before Comcast bought them out. Which office are you working out of?


Ashamed enough to quit?


Essentialy

1. over emotionalization
2. people that behave like parrots repeating the pharmceutical industries PR firms emotional propaganda


What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a turtle? The core concept.


she's got some big-ass gums, saggy eyes, 5 head and man-shoulders. 2/10 would not bang. He should have cropped the pic at the cards and tits.


Best part of naming your kid that, you only need to teach them 5 words: "you"  "have" "failed" "this" and "city"


Cancer isn't a black and white issue. Sometimes it's easy to treat, often times it's not. Chemotherapy doesn't have a phenomenal  success rate. Steve probably had his optioned presented and sided with possibly dying younger than living 20 more sickly years and then dying.

I love how everyone is acting like he could've taken a pill and been fine, cancer doesn't work that way.


I think that *newspaper brands* will still exist, just maybe not necessarily in the same medium.


I am being shat on. I never even sad anything offending. Im just gonna see if my 2000 comment karma can be brought to the negatives by these buttholes.


Dude, driving your wife to the hospital while she's in labor is one of the rare opportunities when you can break all the rules of driving and feel justified, EMBRACE IT.

If anybody mildly pregnant gets in my car I pray for labor so I can say "BRACE YOURSELF" and step on it while howling to get out the way to other cars.


Don't hatem cause you aintem bro.


If I skip MILF Backdoor Bangs 1-3, will I still be able to follow MILF Backdoor Bangs 4?


Maybe you shouldn't have been so fat in the first place.


Hey, pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.


PLEASE UPVOTE ME IM TRYIN TO GET NEUTRAL KARMA

i used to be troll but im not now i change


I was more surprised that the virus software ran on an alien OS.


ur welcome!  =)

it seems they hit me with the downvotes on accident too lol!!

*(we do not claim to be a ''downboat brigade'' but it happens)


You are intimidating now, I wouldn't probably talk to you because I would think "Fuck that, I don't have a chance."


Yeah maybe you should become an overly sensitive, indignant faggot, and dismiss any notion of higher learning. In fact, burn all your math, history, and physics books that are over 10 pages long or any that don't have glitter falling out between the pages.

You're not too fucking bright are you?


Cody carries a skateboard with him but never does any tricks.


Shes not an SRSer you fucking jackass


This man speaks truth.  I lived in one once and am told that after being given my eviction notice, I still hung around for two more weeks.

Eventually the authorities came a dragged me out at knife-point.  I'm told I wasn't very happy about that.


Actually, it's *stiff* competition between adult sites to get customers so your search should be easy.


Did did stroke you on have comment


Of course i knew that people would find out, but i was in a competition with some friends on getting most karma. But it all turned out very satisfying, i love when people get angry because i have some imaginary internet points.
Btw it's called reverse, not reserve.


Goddamn, that guy who called his dad as a lifeline just to say "hey, I'm about to win a million bucks." That guy was a fucking badass.

Also, the girl who spent an entire episode trying to figure out which way a compass points.


Easily the BEST response I've gotten on this thread.


I hope Japan shoots it down and the north Korea attacks them back and south Korea, America, and Japan all completely destroy north korea and both koreas unite and become the next Germany and Korea starts taking business away from China and becomes the next world hyperpower which eventually takes over the world turns all women into sexy Korean kpop girls


Such as?

Edit: LMFAO. I've never received this many (-93) downvotes for anything, and many times, I've *tried*. All for asking what they could accomplish.

TIL: r/atheism is literally worse than ~~Hitler~~ r/SRS.


18k in NYC, jesus fuck. Want a pizza?


You make that sound like a bad thing...


Now he thinks he's better than you. No joke, I've seen this before. He viewed you as on his level when he was doing shitty. Now he thinks he is worth better.

Ain't that some shit.


There's no women here, you can drop the white knight act.


Seriously, under what grounds could they throw away children's candy?

EDIT: Sounds like they're the one's who were loco parentis


i thought you were a novelty account called captain obvious!


Probably because 28,000 USD is equal to 590,302,000 VND (Vietnamese Dong), and 5+9+0+3+0+2+0+0+0 = 19. RiFF RAFF is from Houston, a city founded in 1837. 1+8+3+7 is also equal to 19.

Basic shit fam did you get held back in second grade?


arrow to the knee...(you nerds wanna play that game then I'll play)


I dunno...my kid escapes his cage and shits on the floor all the time and netflix doesn't do a goddamned thing about it (believe me, I've called customer support about it and those guys are assholes). I don't see why we should expect more from Blockbuster.


search for yourself you lazy fuck


he knew man, he knew.


Because it's as if he is proud of not knowing, and that is a common theme on Reddit.

Google "TF2 b4nny" and its pretty easy to figure out what's going on here.


He forgot to surrender..


aw shut up you stupid nigger thats not nice xD

upvote if your not a faggot!!!!!!!


HE FUCKING DESTROYED HER

 with his calm, polite manner and tact


It is more then that. Shame you don't see it like that. Have you ever fought/served your country? If you have you would know better.


"Bring me... a shrubbery!"


The face gives me a bonar


To let the object know you mean business, upend it.

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻


Blue*
Guys, I was joking holy shit.


This is true.

I remember some 20 years ago sitting in the kitchen of my GF's place after finishing our last discussion about various problems we were having and finally acknowledging that we had grown apart and there was no way to fix it. I left her place that day and never saw her again.  I loved her like no other woman, and part of me still does.  But that's the way it is.


lol

Edit: Fuck you, that is all. DOWNVOTE AWAY HATERS!

I LOVE J-BIEBS. Ron Paul is old and hates cats.


>*The only winning move is not to play*

This bothered me more than it probably should have


that was me, and yes I did


I don't care how bad that movie is, all those ice puns Arnold makes still crack me up just from the sheer stupidity. I still enjoy the film because it's like the lobotomized bastard child of the whole Batman franchise. Everything is just so hilariously bad.


Hello, friend. :) Nice to see you!


The worst part is that the only people being hurt by the taboo are ourselves. If you and your friends know how much each other make and you have similar jobs, you could always use that information as leverage when asking for a raise or applying at other employers. Therefore, keeping our salaries under wraps is good for the employers.

(also, thank goodness for glassdoor!)


I wont lie. This came up on my facebook feed.  Hadn't seen it on reddit and felt it was worth sharing..... ok Karma whoring.


AY GURL I JUS WANNA SAY UR BEUTIFUL ALSO IM NOT LIKE OTHER GUYS I RESPECT YOU SEND PIX PLZ HERE'S MY DICK


but dont your nose...pick

lol i sounded like yoda


> isn't america communism?

Thanks a lot, Obama.

I kid, I kid.


Pathetic because they can't stand people who aren't disciplined enough to look after themselves and maintain healthy lifestyles.


Which is ludicrous,  I don't care about your personal standing and beliefs this a school filled with others, you can either be vaccinated or be home schooled, end of story and discussion


I used to think that OP is a fag, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


" You can't fire any more nuclear missiles, I had to go to sleep without dinner yesterday after all the calls I got complaining about you"

" But MOTUS "

"No more talk, go to your country and think of what you did"


Are you sure about that? I mean, the majority of sports have very legally defined ways to physically injure other players. So... maybe you are a fucking idiot.


That's 15 cat years in walrus time?!


What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I can't imagine a more unpeaceful "soul " than a murdered child.


And that's where the hash slinging slasher came from.


i think the point is that they didn't care..


I love how reddit acts like this progressive and accepting community, when really it's full of bigoted and discriminatory people. This thread is a wonderful example of that.


DUDE EVERYONE KEEPS GETTING ON ME BOUT DRAW SOMETHING, I JUST GOT MY SCRAMBLE ON DAMN!


Lol arrow to the knee... Ban
**EDIT: downvote only if you're gay!!**


I have literally never encountered the term *YOLO* outside Reddit and yet I see it multiple times per day.

edit in reply to all replies: I don't use Twitter or Facebook and all my friends are over 17 and British. This is how I have done this.


You need to use grave accents (\`) to denote code


Women masturbate because they're sexually liberated and becoming one with the Earth Mother. Guys masturbate because they're addicted to sex and porn.


Oh god reddit is leaking again.


\>I'm a 6'8" 370 pound Welsh Man with a gigantic red beard

\>/u/Goblin-Dick-Smasher


> squeeze down into a girlfriend canon

Some people pay good money for that.


I must admit that I almost cried when I read your comment, you glorious bastard! Please, take my small tribute of one upvote you fantastic bastard! If only I had more!


Unless you count Swiss, Bermuda, Cayman Islands and Irish bank accounts.


just an FYI, personally the first thing I do is Ctrl+F for "proof", so you should add keywords like that when you guys verify the poster.

thanks!


Gosh, that's a toxic way of thinking, man. Don't let other's accomplishments compare to your's. Set your own arbitrary goals and strive to achieve those. These people you've noted have been very fortunate but for every one of them is literally a million others living what they would consider a happy life. If you constantly compare what you do to the 1%, frankly, you'll burn yourself out.


a chinese guy found it, skinned it alive and is serving it to their customers. no joke. it is a back room dish in the states. im japanese but I used to work in a chinese buffet, we drove around to find dogs loose and who were left in cars. it was sick. but charged $100 a dish. chinese are fucked in their minds.


I have two words for you: no it's not.


Don't try to stifle me by clutching your pearls, little Miss Nancy. It's what Charlie would have wanted us to do, poke fun at the world with acerbic wit and satire like my joke. Pourquoi n'êtes-vous pas Charlie aujourd'hui?


Missy Fitzsimmons = Delores Umbridge


Feel free to delete my post if you think it's inappropriate. I don't feel bad about trying to help show support of a girl who had a few guys giving her crap about her body. But if you think it doesn't belong here, like I said, feel free to delete it, I can respect that.


New question:

Why no brownies?


Unbelievably strong degrees of mental retardation.


I think I had a small panic attack while watching it.


Sorry it offends you, I'm on mobile right now and I just used "suggest a title". If you notice- the youtube video is titled the same.
Brah.


Your friend has the best parents ever. You should give them a bottle of wine.


Such a great show? Grow up you man child.


You have cool stuff in your house. I like you.


Well you failed. Nobody laughed. You wasted everybody's time and the world is a slightly worse place for it. Good job OP, you might have distracted the person who was going to cure cancer by posting your bullshit.


I know right? If you're short you can get surgeries to lengthen your limbs and torso but if you're fat it's in your genes and you're stuck with it. This short people privledge is disgusting.


This isn't "crap"

It's pretty clear-cut what happened here and instead of a touchdown, the Patriots should have been penalized 5 yards. It didn't make a difference in the last game but I can guarantee you it will affect the Super Bowl


All I can say is that Scarlett gets to do a lot more than be hot in "Avengers".  It's definitely dispiriting to have a woman play an heroic role and then be reduced to body parts by fan commentary, but that can only change slowly.  And is.


Oh lord, did this get cross posed in that subreddit or something? So many of the crazies coming out of the woodwork here. I know this can't be spontaneous reactions since the movement is so hilariously fringe. So I assume there is a link there pointing here.


I've always said the best way to lose weight is to have an abortion.


1. Love Jesus

2. Post your love of him on reddit.

3.????

4.  Be hated and always made fun of while receiving negative karma points.


congrats, you've now made porn legal on cable TV!!!


...from the ignorant atheists that don't get the joke. Christians are a lot smarter than you atheist morons.


And cologne. None of that bubblegum cotton candy puke crap they spray all over the lockers in gym class. I'd much prefer to smell like a lumberjack who rolled around in cinnamon during a campfire.

**Edit:** As soon as I figure out what perfume/cologne smells like this, I'll be sure to let you all know.


>(if you don't think that all men are rapists then SRS isn't a place for you)

As an avowed SRS member, this is just so fucking untrue that I want to slap your shit in.


especially cause he realized it without anyone else bringing it up.


your right, her left.
/details
edit: i was reiterating and clarifying dieselnut's point.... @_@
edit 2: she is clearly indicating displeasure at the invisible penis in her right hand.


Good Guy Marilyn Manson, sucks his dick so you don't have to.


If you're serious I feel really bad for you. Go outside.


Context is everything. If she's into you (as I would hope your wife is) it isn't creepy and if she isn't . . . that's a paddlin'


Fourteen, good sir. Why do you ask?


Reading this thread was a terrible idea. I can't handle all this sadness right now.


>Hahahaha XDDDD yes!

Frathouse standard activity.


It just wanted to rape.


DAE Diddy is literally cancer and the fans should decide who the pros play as?????


Xp is hard to come by in real life.


No thanks.  The atheism subreddit is absolutely *terrible,* and reflects very poorly of the reddit community in general.  Go to r/skeptic or r/freethought if you want to have thoughtful discussions that aren't overrun with childish insults.


Wow, that's terrible.


Ah, "correct".  I assume you mean "correct for *you*".  Blonde Western women are perfectly free not to visit Egypt.  What gives you the right to say how they should live their lives, in their own country?


hahah so surprised your the first person who asked that, and its a danger but I take measures to prevent that like usually keeping a hand on the bottom of the shaft - it also protects the girl.


There's a stereotype that vultures are dirty, so his luggage would be horribly stinky.

It's really just a crude, racist joke.

Edit : 88 downvotes for joking around... in r/jokes. Go figure.

Edit2 : Now 90, while I was typing.

Edit3 : 93, while I typed Edit2. Where's the fire?


Your father is evidently *not* smarter than a fifth grader


Actually, I can. I wrote that on my phone and then realised it was all to cock, but I thought I'd leave it that way, as it was funnier.


Excellent job, Victoria!


Read my other replies you fucking stupid motherfucker! I'm tired of repeating the same shit over and over! READ YOU DUMB MOTHAFUCKA! READ!


Heh. So you mean, you just thought it was an almost nonsense thing?

Like, "Why did ten and eleven go to the store? Because eleven twelve thirteen!"


Not sure what you are replying too, as I said that in my first line.

Edit* damn commies can downvote me all you want. His reply added nothing.

Edit* article 8


I'm just imagining a 4 year old with a 12 inch full grown cock swinging as he waddles through the house sucking a juice box

edit: thanks for the gold, Mr. NSA!


Yeah, because the spread of information is linear and evenly distributed.


I watched Pterodactyl *porn*, not a Pterodactyl *documentary*.  I am not an expert.


You should NOT be on the internet! (downmoding on principle).

Edit: WTF with all the downvotes? You kids should be in bed!


Until the two holes become one


yeah, but ben would totally blow him - and possibly give up his ass-cherry to him too.


M. Night directed this comment.


"“We will have a world government whether you like it or not. The only question is whether that government will be achieved by conquest or consent.”
Paul Wahlburg in front of US congress

Biiiitch. Get owned, son! OWNED, SON!


I'm a balding white male.  Am I evolving?  Will I get super powers?


Won't really miss him being constantly overrated throughout his career. Won't miss all the horrid calls he drew. Won't miss him elbowing guys in the face and getting away with it. Won't miss him raping people. Won't miss him. Sorry.


That's dedication not only to your friend, but also her oath. She embodies what a healer should be.


All im saying is she got what she asked for.  Idk how it makes me an asshole.


Although brutal, at least it's honest.


>he's beautiful

FTFY


he installed windows 8 on all the computers.


Ha! Enjoy your downvote. Decades-later-karma is a bitch!! Muahahaha!!!!!


GUYS I DID THE MATH

**HE'S RIGHT**


1. He's been warned of this before

2. It's in reddit's rules. No other spammers are warned, why should he deserve an exception to the rules?


*Doesn't understand material for test*

Fuck it we'll do it live!


Chocolate smarties suck.


It's full of trolls, forever-alones, and religious and athiest fundamentalists who all repeat each other's jokes.


And the loss of a minute of your life that youre getting paid to be there for is so devastating because...?


He sure as fuck is 13 of a President.


I hope your joking. :)


As someone who loses his keys once a day and can't remember his license plate number, fuck you.


No it isn't. The first panel is about Iraq casualties. We're not in Iraq. The casualties are zero.


Dwayne Johnson makes a nice roast, and then leaves it in the oven for too long, burning his house down with him inside. He fails to notice the smoke pouring from oven.

Dwayne Johnson didn't smell what the Rock was cooking.


I figured most people would have this attitude but I give my word for whatever it's worth and tell you that she does know what reddit is, doesn't really understand the karma system but knows how posting and voting works. (she spends a lot of time on aww)


Also the part where Brown wants to avoid meeting himself, for that would create a pair o' Docs.


hahahaha **THIS**

man reddit sometimes u got some funny ass comments bro xD


resorting to classic mean girl tactics


iPhone is the best phone in the market. Like it or not.


> All they had to do was stay on land and they would be pretty much safe. But no.

Well, that would be true about all Jaws movies.


I'm also confused as to why you would point out such a miniscule thing. Instead of just downvoting this like a normal person, you decide to put in your two cents (or last brain cells) about something that is completely biased and opinionated.

Good day.


Become a professor at their son's school and take away his house points for insignificant reasons.


Because a girl felt some shame for a few moments?  I'm sorry, there is much worse shit to be upset about, prioritize what concerns are actually worthy.


You should still lock it.


That refers to youth, not gender.


Changing lanes without signaling


to the top with you!!!!


Plot twist: You're from the UK.


Show is hilarious but also v offensive


The name of his band was Queen, you clueless faggots.


>The fact that the phone was turned off and went straight to voice mail then suddenly came back on and rings again tells me a couple of things.

There's a fourth option you didn't include: She went into an area with no signal, and then came back into signal later.


Man, this is a tough one.  I genuinely wanted some insight on "trickle down" theories, and whether it's just me, or if it's sort of accepted that tax cuts or extra profits get eaten up by the top, while tax increases and extra costs trickle down to the very bottom.

But in the spirit of things, here goes:  I fucking hate cats.  Especially your cat.


On a list of 'good' places to crash, a golf course has two things going for it:  1) flat, grassy landing strip and 2) lots of doctors.


And not even an attractive one at that.


That's turning her vagina into a shotgun.


I know, I should not have doubted as much. Please forgive me.


'I'll perform mouth-to-mouth when you find me the mouth.'


...aaaaaaaand HERE comes the downvotes.


"Hey man, look at richy rich white boy over there, struttin' around walmart's car-park, begging for change like he owns the fucking place. Rich jackass."


These are all alts of ddxxdd so they can easily be disregarded.


She must have thought we were veritable titans, capable of striding the Earth with endless patience as our denim prisons continually strive to rob us of our sanity.


>to control their voters

How bigoted of you.

Seriously.

bigot: a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices

That would be you and so many other liberals.

intellectually driven - LOL

Back to your video games, dweeb.


...well, there are. Also 900 more.

Pedantry aside, that's got to be infuriating.


By what measure? Team wins or games played? Because that just ain't true.

Apparently your team winning more games and the simple fact that you've played more games is the factor.

As if KD isn't balling out of his mind and still better than LMA.


Or that your dad sucked them on at night.


no i was kidding...that was supposed to be sarcastic


I knew a guy who walked jay once.

Now he's a heroin addict.


*beautiful you dumbass


TIL: get rich or die trying


The sympathy attempt. Even posting something like this is really unfair. Don't expect us to just drop everything and feel bad for you after all of these accusations being thrown around.

Not even an explanation.

EDIT: Attention everyone, the circlebroke downvote brigade has arrived. Heres to some fucking irony in a glass.


Pokemon Y was released 507 days ago, that's 12,168 hours. Assuming you have exactly 1,000 hours on Pokemon Y, you have spent 8.21% of your life playing Pokemon Y since it came out. On average, you play 1.97 hours a day **every day** since it was released.

As someone who plays Pokemon, yeah that sounds about right.


Where the fuck does this shit even come from. Red Pill isn't about women being inferior, but about accepting the natural differences between men and women. That doesn't mean women = dumb.


"So if we play loud, people might think we're good!"

a consistent line my band uses when we practice.


Has to gave?

Maybe you should be looking at one of those universities


therefore, you were never born. QED


So you are okay with refs being abused as long as it's 9 players. Cool story


You know the drill people. Up to the top.

Edit: Wow.. this is my highest scoring comment. With about twenty replies. All I can say is... the drill people have spoken.


Referenced is not a verb.


I find that the models usually say, "Hey!  There are hot girls in your area!"


I used to like purple things, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I think the more WTF in that story is the guy that was rescued trying to walk from Detroit to Toronto. Crossing Lake St Clair which is like 24 miles of ice, then another 180 miles to Toronto.


I need to revise your review just a bit. I took the liberty of reducing your reviews into a distilled version, and corrected.

Mad Max- Shit

The Road Warrior- Shit

Beyond Thunderdome- Cinematic Classic

That is all.


I went to the vets last week and he told me he would have to put down my dog. When I asked him why he replied "because my arms are getting tired".


>9000 worse things have happened and been forgotten


Because it applies to so many of us.

Sorry Cassie, Rachel, and Amber. Not you, Katie. You're a psychotic bitch.


What, you just had that one saved in your head for a conversation like this? You're a faggot.


How'd you get their little legs apart?


i set fiiirrreee to your cock watched it pour as i touched your penis let it cum when i semen as i poopoo out your name your naaammme


This made me laugh so hard my poop came out faster.


Human error != errors in the base rules of the test.


This means the worst possible situation: the United States has been heavily arming an apartheid state that has WMD.

We'd better start building a coalition now so we can eject the occupiers and uphold UN resolutions.


Really? Praying for her?


Maybe that's why they always lick your face!


worst novelty account ever


Too much sleep can make you tired, too, as weird as that sounds.


never happened. staged.

at least try to make it believable in the future.


This thread is actually being considered part of the competition. Apparently, the mods think it has a good chance to win.


Translator here:  the patient is his wife.  He's mad because they just filmed him and his wife getting it on.  They placed the hidden camera in the room prior to her visit.

well that was fun while it lasted folks!


Considering Christian Bale was trying to emulate Tom Cruise in American Psycho, I wouldn't rule it out. Chris knows what's up.


You bought it for a reason when you can just pirate it, enjoy that reason.


I /love/ when people aren't dicks about acknowledging when they are wrong.


sick of sc2 fanboys raising up nestea as some sort of ultimate player. he is nothing compared to what the BW pros are. nestea is nowhere near alone at the top of SC2. He is just an above average sc2 player. and dont blame him for his recent mediocre performances...blame the stupid game that a retard can play.


Earth is the New Jersey of the Universe.


I think you're too *short*-sighted for your own *wood*.


...but it's been emptied...


You're white, stop trying to sound black - playing GTA 5 isnt enough to be black, playing FIFA 15 isnt enough to talk red cards


IT'S VERY UNLIKELY THAT IS MITT ROMNEY.


unless they re retarded they wouldnt. youre a dumbass idiot. epic fail. delete your reddit account and never post here again.


I thought you said you murderered all of your friends.


Someone who is that trashy to do that with a kid in the picture will never be attractive. Scum of the Earth. Also, she does not have a nice ass.


1. i think hyuna is the best person for gangnam style because she has both aspects, sexy and cute

2. coming very soon


I used to post comments so that people can downvote it, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Does anyone else feel like all the guys on here are just upvoting the response they WANT to be true?


Move this shit to /r/furniture, some faggy table has nothing to do with gaming, or is this just some douchey portal reference?


You should have seen me when I was 39!


Everyone give these two people upvotes.  Let's make them both highest upvoted comments


Oh god. Thanks for sharing that story. By far, this is the most interesting thing I've read today on Reddit.


And also completely made up.


"Thomas mah nigga. He run train just like I do."


that's what she's arguing- that they shouldn't be.


Start making subtle allusions to it in common conversation, just not enough for her to confirm you know. Stuff like "Had a ball at the party last night." or "I'm all tied up at the moment, let's talk later" and perhaps "I saw you in a film getting tied up and gagged, can I have those reports by the end of the day?"

Casual stuff like that.


If you're going to quote Carlin, at least credit him.


I am from Seattle and what is this?


Came here halfway expecting some form of Anti-Apple circlejerk.

Was not disappointed. But 3/10, he said "camera flash", not "Flash".


I was planning to go to work, then practice karate with my Texan friend, then go fishing with my sort of retarded friend, then go to this guy's music recital, even though he kind of hates me.

There were some bumps along the way, but it turned out okay.


I really wonder how anyone can look at subredditdrama and not be physically sickened. You people  are the worst of the worst.


*picks up phone*

*hears neighbor talking*

*listens anyway*

Ah the days of shared phone lines....


How the **fuck** is it trolling though? The original quote is "Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter"

I am therefore using my power as a Reddit Gold User to report the original post for having a shitty title, and downvote every comment on this thread with one push of a button (-:

*Upvote if you're sick of the word trolling being misused!* (-:


Yep, I spent way too long figuring why there would be baking soda in strawberry apple juice.


Nah, I dont think he did


It's so weird to me how rape victims never seem to be believed, especially when incest is involved. I honestly don't get it. At all.


I'm [12] and what is this.


Gotta feel a little bad for the other person here


I used to get the reference, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Upon meeting the first black child she'd ever interacted with, my three-year-old sister asked "Are you related to Oprah?"

The girl was the same age and looked back at her mother and really excitedly asked "Mom, *are* we related to Oprah?!"

My mother meanwhile was likely dying on the inside.


No, I never said any of that, I only posted a picture of the children of single mothers and you took that opportunity to call democrats murders and assassins. You have been reported.


$7 sounds about right for NYC as well, as long as you want a cheap beer.


You're so fucking lucky. love those guys


Dude... you're really making the rest of us look bad here.


I don't know what's funny about auicide, but you should edit before you trigger someone.

:/

Edit: the heck did I get downvoted for? Did I upset the horse of Children browsing their weekend away?


upvote based on username


i literally laughed out loud.


Holy shit.

If I have kids I'm telling them to go to the grumpiest old fucker in the neighbourhood for help.


Go go gadget KARMA TRAIN!


Indubitably.  I usually can avoid using a multiplicity off typographic glyphs, including many of various commonality. But with that particular sign, I doubt I could accomplish that.


came here to say that.


Pretty sure if they did that this year the rest of Europe would breathe a sigh of relief


Nobody cares, Apostolate.


Yes, yes.. I remember this. I believe she was the one with the boobs.


You can't rape the willing.


To be fair, if you're going to make a cannon, why *not* use shells packed with corrosive liquids?


Congratulations, sibreddirdrana has written about you!

[[meta] "hello to r/subredditdrama, one of the arms of [1] /r/mensrights" LOL](http://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/stio9)

As of now, your comment has a score of -9 (7|16).


"Well, it couldn't have been any worse than the first one, so technically it's better."


lol what made you think this was a good post


GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, AGAIN!


DOWNVOTES FOR EVERYONE!

Edit: Keep em' coming you fucks.


WE ARE ONLY AS STRONG AS THE TABLES WE DANCE ON AND THE DRINKS WE MIX XOXOXOX LOVE MY GIRLS <3<3<3

shoot me


Blueblank agreed with me nuking the thread and stands by my mod actions.


A dead moth is probably the most healthy thing one gets from a McDonalds breakfast menu.


I kept waiting for his accent to change into a like a real street nigger. Instead, he demanded "watta." I think he even said please, sir, may I have some more.

Sadly disappointed about this.


The Frank Reynolds of the group


Downvote if you think Neal Degrasse Tyson sucks.

Edit:  **COME AT ME!!!**


>When is the second best time? Right now.

really? not even like, 44 minutes ago?


yeah if you want to shred your tires you can turn the wheel when your stopped

edit:fuck you all, you drive like a bunch of teenage girls


Pretty sure The Purge 1 already killed a lot of its audience with terminal disappointment.

**EDIT:** Thank you for this gift of gold I will presume was "liberated" from the upper class!


*frequently bust those open, anyway.
FTFY


My mom used to say stuff like that too. According to her, our computer was slow because I played Neopets. It had nothing to do with the 7 toolbars she had downloaded or the many "You have won!" virus popups she clicked on. Nope. It was because I played flash games on Neopets.


paid 78 dollars for item.

lost it on Izual instance

Blizzard no restore item.

Blizzard wonders why RMAH is teh fail.


i agree with gandpaw
and that tattoo is crap


I wonder how many die in the wild of cold starvation or being eaten from the legs up. Life goes on.


You and your friends should stop dating patients from the psych ward.

But for real: Did you notice anything unusual in the first two dates?


I'm not quite sure it's appropriate for a tournament this large. There's more than half a million people tuning in, the cast deserves some gravitas.


My mom found his wallet in a restaurant back in the day, he gave her all the cash in it (like a grand) and gave her his autograph. Maybe he wasn't always shitty.


Need more proof that socialized medicine is a failure?  Vote for Obama and this sort of thing will be commonplace in the U.S.


CHILL! CHILL! CHILL! CHILL! CHILL!


...But you're already dead?


You seem very nice. 10/10. Would not kill.

Edit: I'm glad I made so many people laugh :)


Got your tongue far enough up his ring piece? you pathetic jar of aids


I think I saw an early draft and it was called "$3,000". I don't specifically remember turning it down. The script was okay but I gotta say, Julia Roberts is what makes that movie. It was her part. Every actor hopes for a part that lets them shine like that.


Compare that to the decorations in the new Spuds training facility, which contains an over-sized Ledley King goofily imploring them to come sixth - *at least* - and Gazza with his tongue hanging out.


TIL women aren't people.

Always kinda suspected.


No, he was telling you to whistle because your swollen-ass face will make it comically impossible. He wasn't wolf whistling through the medium of text. Christ.


http://i.imgur.com/GCfVh1F.jpg

Edit: also, http://i.imgur.com/miXuPro.jpg


you should probably go outside more before you have a heartattack over reddit posts

also lol u all jelly cuz im faster and smarter than you


What does he have to do with anything? This post was about Al Sharpon.


Shit is the worst topic for many people.  Good thing she isn't committing honorable suicide or anything. I think she just needs to pretend he doesn't exist and this never happened. He should play along.


Silence is golden, duct tape is silver


Holy shit, look at this devastation...


I really didn't have a choice. It was either trust him or bleed/freeze to death.  I'm glad he was the one to pick me up.   I spoke with him recently and he is still a dear, sweet person.  He told me "we're family now".


Technically, he's Scottish (Connery's the best way to start a Bond flamewar, right?)


The caption in the gallery says this:

>A man in Xi'an holds a sign that reads CAR SMASHINGS AHEAD, JAPANESE CAR OWNERS SHOULD TURN BACK NOW


Just like the native Americans a few hundred years ago.


I can confirm this. It also helps to glare at said object and threaten to toss it out into the street.


ProbablyCummingOnYourWife


You mean /r/all/top set to hour. New isn't as good if your only aim is karma because you can't accurately identify which posts will make it big. The exception to this is new in /r/askreddit and Iama, since those are self posts only (meaning people are there to see the comments) and it's easier to pick the winners.


Nigga you just "Niced" your own joke!


More horrible than posting a shitty story on reddit?


I would go to a /r/atheism and the /r/spacedicks meetup.  Not to troll or argue, but to quietly observe them in the wild.


Probably just trying to dump old oil without paying fees, not realizing the danger.


"For my next magic trick I will make your boss disappear".
*Boom. Uppercut.*


How is this related to the question at all?


Yeah and I'd like you to drop your prices.


They haven't attacked me. But I also don't post child porn or rape people.

*Looks like the SRS downvote brigade found this post. Right guys?


Understanding why people like NASCAR cannot be done by acquiring more knowledge. Instead, you must do quite the opposite.

EDIT: I'm sorry I rustled all the NASCAR fans' jimmies over this comment.


I used to train a ton before my next game, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Well, you're fucking *not*


Well, It's better to play hard and flop, than to do absolute jack shit and stay upright. I'm looking at you, Marc Gasol. &#3232;\_&#3232;

EDIT: Seriously, you fucktards? You're going to downvote me for making a joke about Marc Gasol being a fucking ghost in this series? Or maybe it's the Clipper flair? God damn, this subreddit is full of fucking nine year olds.


I think it's typically specified whether it's a potluck dinner or not.

If it is not we would bring a bottle of wine to thank them for preparing the meal.


yeah, that comma might read better as a semicolon.


The "we do our own things in the same room" thing is all I want out of a relationship.  Someone who just wants to be or is comforted by being in the same room with me, but doesn't necessarily need me to be paying full attention to her or need to be going out and doing things all the time.


But seriously, it is usually the same people who will hold their utensil in their fist and lean on their elbow as they eat.


The gooey kind. They are really dangerous and they chase after me and they are coming and they got me and I turned into a zombie.

(seriously shocked by his answer)


>a libertarian socialist

It's like you're in art school and you chose the two words to define yourself that you thought made you sound "cool" and "unique".


Geez.... Spoiler alert. I haven't scrolled down yet.


And now you have 2 less


Also, my parents have tried very hard to not turn me into a spoiled, entitled brat, and I try hard not to be.


Lol @ comparing the Rock with an indyrific string bean glorified backyard wrestler.


So it only works if the parent and the teachers don't meet.


Oh my god! I didn't even see that! Wow, that is weird </s>


Only thing is, teachers and professors don't hate that weird trick...they hate that 90% of the class ignores the syllabus.


Nerve-hurter*
Like the phrase "getting on my nerves".

Edit: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Nerf_herder

Well I'll be damned.


I'm sorry but that's hilarious


Why would we ban you?

EDIT: LOOK AT ALL THE DOWNVOTES FOR ASKING A QUESTION

fucking hypocrites


Indeed.  I am ashamed to hear the reporter say the words, "If this all seems very American, the FBI were there."  This is what the US is known for in the rest of the modern world.  That makes me very sad.


Jay Wilson says he likes chocolate milk. Fuck I better post this to /r/diablo. What do you mean it has nothing to do with the game? It's something a developer said and that's the only necessary qualifier.

Yeah no thanks.


sure. Stupid decisions. Complete and utter fail and I am very sorry.


Because being in the top ten in GM (especially NA) shouldn't be much of an achievement for a pro gamer.


Nice try, Napoleon's penis PR guy.

EDIT: Thanks for the gold, stranger!


This is fascinating. The top comment with no replies with people trying to latch on and get some karma?

Hello.

Edit: First time I've gone negative. I stand proud.


Louis CK.  "Yeah that's just gonna hurt now.  There's nothing we can do.". "What if I was an athlete?". "You're... not an athlete."


No because it's still a fucking pointless comment.


Dear god no.  I'd rekill myself if I ever saw that.


Lol Programmers for OS X Would be like NASA hiring the local Down Syndrome Association.


But, metals aren't in general harder than rocks/minerals.  Pure gold and silver are actually pretty soft.


Chuck Norris is awesome and could kick the shit out of just about anyone on the planet.


Hmm, if so, it would have had to have been 9 years ago, the more I think about it.

Quiz time, what was the brand name of the router in question?


but you know that pussy never gonna be the same

hanging all loose and shit, roast beef flaps


For some reason, when I read that, I pictured the son looking down at OP and then slowly lifting a hairbrush into view.


Never said I didn't like em, just that they weren't worth 40 bucks.


Dog: Oops didn't get enough momentum that time, better try again.

You: Stupid dog hit the door again, better open it before he tries again.

Dog: IT WORKED!!!! I'M A GENIUS!! Note to dogself: Get a better running start next time.

Next day: need squeegie to scrape dog off sliding door


I ran over a small child, but it was an accident so its all good.


what's this? the Hunger Games?


Yes because that is what was said.


>here's my human, you take care of it now.


Jesus. The fact that a racist homophobe like Destiny is taken at all seriously tells me this community is heading into the dirt, not to mention that he's apparently an ableist. I'm astounded that the people representing this community are willing to use the r-word in front of an audience. Absolutely disgusting and everyone joking about should be ashamed if they have even a shred of decency.


In all honesty there's nothing wrong with that....

EDIT: This is my highest-scoring comment of all time at 1552 upvotes and 317 downvotes.  That's 194 karma per word.  Those upvotes constitute 16.29% of my comment karma.


sounds to me like he actually wants rock hard cock.


KEEP READING OR WE DON'T GET ALL THE MONEY


We use gravity to describe WHY things are in free fall.


Uh, there were three Matrix films: the first, Reloaded, and Revolutions.  Animatrix could count as a fourth.  Have you been living under a rock?


At least she waited until you were at the emotionally stable age of 6.

Edit: It seems that a lot of people are not sure if serious. I think I'll leave it that way since I am getting upvotes from both sides.


If I am in a "serious accident," I would absolutely want someone to call a doctor or paramedics first.


Bruh, I sit in the stall in my office's bathroom... I can't tell you how often someone comes in there and decomposes in the stall next to me and then gets up and just walks out... I know damn well they're going to go into meetings and shake hands with people. Dirty muthafuckas.


Quit being such an outrageous dumbass. You didn't even give 32 a full day to contact you. He's not always on.


He must have used that classic line on her

"It's not cheating if it's not consenual"

The sly dog.


How did it feel to murder your only child?


Not this guy!  *sobs quietly in the corner*


http://i.imgur.com/RlxNi.png

San Jose is ours, bitch! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!


But once in a while, I go outside, in front of my house, and sing and dance with my friends.


SAUCE NAO!!

Edit: LOL -100 Comment karma!

Keep going reddit. I got plenty.

Edit2: We're back at -100! I like how reddit downvotes everything related to 4chan but still gets their content from 4chan. WHAT A WHACKED UP WORLD, AIN IT?


And so you both think the most obvious answer is that women are whores?  Nice!  It could be that the respondent simply desperately wants the child to be his or her own blood.


> He didn't realize when he was telling this to me that I **had a shred of common sense** and knew how full of shit he was.

FTFY


I see what you did there...


Similarly, John McCain was born to American parents in the Panama Canal Zone. No one seriously questioned his legitimacy as a candidate because he is clearly a "natural-born citizen."

All of the "Obama is a Kenyan" thing is just racist twaddle.


It's designed to make you you blindly support "the troops" without stopping to ask inconvenient questions like: When did Canadian Forces arrive in Iraq, and how many? What contribution have our American allies requested? How much will this mission cost? What are the rules of engagement? What is our exit strategy?


To his credit, the other Senator from Mississippi (Thad Cochran) voted yes. Possibly because he's old enough to have witnessed the last ice age.


Better than OP's.

Edit: Wow.


The goofier you look, the bigger the dick.


fuck that I ain't tryna read this nigga dissertation on kpop


Excellent.  Straight to the point.  Fine story sir.


Is it me or she never said he'd made the movie but was showing support for it which was what she said was bad and never mentioned how 50 had made it and that's what 50 answered to?


Did it work out? That's Earhorn Jones, furniture king of Chicago


Waste of bandwith that means fucking nothing


Well it can never work out between us, as I don't date older women.  I know, you're devastated.  In another weird coincidence, I actually worked with your father at the trucking company in suburban Minneapolis for a couple years (different floors...), but didn't know about our "connection" at the time.  nowkiss.jpg


Femanon here. I find that picture extremely funny. I'm a girl btw.


i'm a better speller when I talk....


Whaaahhhh whaaahh, how dare you not shower her with praise! SELF RIGHTEOUS FAUX MORAL OUTRAGE!!!!!!

**edit**

OMG I POSTED A COMMENT AND I DIDN'T GET POSITIVE ATTENTION, I AM GONNA DELETE MY ACCOUNT IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT REDDIT HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME! MEEEEEEE!

**tl;dr** you're all [white knights](http://encyclopediadramatica.com/White_Knighting). DIAF


"I wanna slap some titties." - Abraham Lincoln


The British National Party has no connection with the Nazis. Did you know that the Nazis were National Socialists (Nationalsozialisten)?


She "doesn't feel good." Must be faking.


Tell her to shave her damn legs and stop being gross and lazy

Edit: lol @ butthurt redditors who think it's not gross. Disgusting feminists who haven't touched a man in months is my guess.


Before you make any life-altering decisions to get back with her, masturbate first.


Please do not submit links just because you saw one of the cast members in another show.

+

We know, they all have busy careers and most of them had been in shows before Firefly.

Either find some insight to reveal or stop karma whoring, I would like to see insight not screen shot puke.


which episode of Dexter is this from?


It's for the non-profit which has been planned for a year and a half.

A) No. The funds are for research into establishing the non-profit including legal and tax help.

C) It's in an account where it's earning interest and separated into goals for each fundraiser we've done.


This man is fucking incredible. I have not seen someone care so less. He did not even attempt to put effort into stopping them, yet he is incredibly successful just standing there looking unassuming. Fucking snack boss, right there.


thanks for that, but i wasn't going to include that part this time around.

maybe next year[.](http://i.imgur.com/5GAcZ.jpg)


Pretty crazy. I was at a wedding this weekend in WI with a lot of people from San Diego. Was told after that one of the uncles of the bride could not make it due to some police ceremony or something of the sort. Later found out that he was shot by this exact child porn guy during this raid. Luckily, he survived.


lol calm down, child.

People aren't confused or acting some type of way. They just don't give a shit about the fact that its 3Ds kid bc its irrelevant. It's still a kid acting like a brat so it's natural people will react to it for what it is.


When you're lying about a story, everything is free.


This racist joke is really getting old. &#3232;\_&#3232; Yes, black people are not able to speak as well as white people. This doesn't mean you have to mock them for it constantly.


Words with Friendzoned?


yeah fuck all those non innocents around him


>I told him he was the sexiest president we've ever had and he shook my hand twice. My friend did not get a second handshake.

I bet Monica got three *shakes*.


Thought this made it better! It's a strong message.


Well that escalated quickly.


I am a 20 year old sports fan, hiphop fan, videogame playing stoner. Why the fuck would I dye my dogs hair pink haha.


First question: Zack what is it like to have a little dick?


disney > pixar.

**UPVOTE FOR DISNEY GUYS ! DOWNVOTE IF UR A CUNT ;)**


Same same but different


Congress does not have to submit to drug testing. And shouldn't.


"I AM THE POOREST MOTHERFUCKER ON SESAME STREET. AINT NOBODY HELPING ME!"


Oh, fuck off, it's not like you knew that was going to be the punchline.


You may be the least observant person on the planet.


> what a troll

FTFY


Definitely 7M20518. California has a [searchable smog test history,](http://www.bar.ca.gov/pubwebquery/vehicle/pubtstqry.aspx) and this  plate reports as a Dodge Ram 1500 4x4, which this truck is.

Year shows as 2003 or 2004, and this body style is consistent with those years.

http://i.imgur.com/nFSWJ.png


She has porn out there


I don't get it, I downvoted all the anti-Ron Paul comments, why isn't he president yet?!


downvote for batman sucks


"For just 99 cents a day, that's less than the price of a cup of coffee, you can help feed poor Scottish redditors shitty American insta-meals of chicken Rice-a-Roni. Please don't let our friends overseas starve needlessly. Open your heart and give generously."


> escalated quickly

*boop*


Yup,  I went to a Christian school and it came up in Bible class...  Of course the teacher ignored lot letting his daughters be raped,  and went on to talk about how wicked the daughters were for raping their father.  Yup,  it all makes sense.


Because she was horny.


Man my mom has a degree in computer sciences I can't imagine you guys lives


Just like your keeper against MK Dons?

Za-zing.


Let's recap:

* Grappling hook
* Car comes back wrecked without an explanation
* Deep emotional trauma

You were dating Batman.


I don't always down vote, but when I do it's because no animal deserves abuse


because they're idiots.


You still need the voucher, you can't hold 1,000,000 Pokedollars.


Actually this was on my friends server, it was a world that was part of a multi-world portal plugin but his server had a spaz and all of his plugins and extra worlds were deleted. So think before you make false accusations.


"Hats off to you"... mmmmmmph!


I wasnt aware it was a meme but i typed it in myself.


"This is her 7 year old son. My Mommy is 15 you sick fuck!"


Do you even English you fucking immigrant moron? Go away.


My mom threw out my iPod once because it was face down and apparently looked like a pack of cigarettes.


Actually, /r/mensrights is the #1 downvote brigade, followed by /r/subredditdrama. While there is obviously some downvoting coming from /srs, it doesn't even touch the scale of the other two. Probably because SRS mods are so active in punishing and banning people who get caught. Everyone just likes to blame SRS because it's an easy scapegoat.


So ... she drugged a minor and has sex with him. If she's taking all your dad's money and she's guilty of statutory rape, then get her arrested and out of your lives.


Beat me by 13 minutes.


Man, I'm sick of everyone pretending handicapped people can't be assholes too.


 No, we *don't* all need validation, *especially* when it comes with a patronizing, speculative sense of entitlement as with this case.

So you want to be an ally? Trying listening instead of dictating our struggle back to us.


No calling after 9pm!


Thank you so much for this comment, Sr. Lisa---I would venture to say the number is now WELL over 100 people.  Praying for the embattled young woman, for her tiny child, and for all involved.


Marketing 101: Know your demographic.

Hobro is doing it right!


Damn redditors always beating me to it....


Method Man and Redman once rapped into his ear from 8 inches away and he didn't flinch.

Keith Richards asked him to party after the concert and he silently shook his head 'no'.

Katey Perry begged to have sex with him and he politely declined.

He is: The Most Professional Event Staff In The World.


Or he just thinks that there is no reason half the population should pay 0.00 in federal income tax, while the part of the population that earns 20% of the income pays 38% of the federal income tax.

But hey....denying people a free-ride doesn't get votes and power now does it?


English, but this is freaking genius!


Yeah, you poor thing, all of that bleeding must be annoying after you just ended a human being's life for convenience's sake.

Downvotes ahoy!


I'm proud of her.  I tell her she has to pick her battles, and she better be able to back up her ideas with facts.

She's picky about marks, so this will bug her, but I don't think it will be worth the fight.


I highly recommend justin.tv, people stream movies that are still in the theaters and other shows like game of thrones, simpsons, south park, adventure time. I mostly watch the movies though, thanks to the guy who just finished streaming Prometheus, 1000+viewers with lots of great comments about the movie....that's the other fun part you can interact with people.


>He said “he never expected anyone to be armed.”“The gun was broken and rusty and wasn't loaded. Nobody was going to get hurt,” he said, standing with crutches.

Seriously? Is he really trying to play the victim here?


So how exactly was I a dick? In saying I really like him for the stuff he does? Or for saying his appearance and voice do not suit me that much?

You guys downvoting and replying here are just like a bunch of high-school kids...

It should matter more what someone thinks of his work then of his appearance and voice, shouldn't it?


It is sad, but what choice do politicians have when [over 40% of American adults believe that Jesus Christ will literally return to earth in the next 40 years.](http://www.pewresearch.org/daily-number/jesus-christs-return-to-earth/) Even if they don't believe in magical thinking they have to pretend to in order to get elected.


Absolutely right. If you had graduated to middle school you would realise what trite bullshit Fall Out Boy is.


Just wanted to mention that I had an utmost amount of respect for you talking about where the man succeeded, looking at the man who flew, not the man who fell. I'm very impressed that he still competed after that.


generating a collision != reversing you dumb fucking cunt.


its nice to have creatures constantly making kissy faces at you and have your kissy faces appreciated. I bet they love you.


Consensus does not imply correctness.

In your threat, I clearly read implied intent, but intent isn't even necessary to fit the definition of a threat. Breaking it down, what you've said is "Stop doing something I don't like or you will be hurt" You didn't specify who or how, but it is still a threat.


Where'd the person get it?


Go back to /r/mensrights you randroid


I read that as "a few pints of Gin and Tonic" and thought you must have been talking about my Grandmother.


In the men's room at Bar it says Viola fakes orgasms better than atheism.


Well it's hardly brain surgery, is it?


Oh I'm sorry. You're*. Thank you. I wasn't aware that YOU'RE an English professer with a neck beard. Go get laid you fucking fat faggot. Oh that's right...you can't because YOU'RE a friendzone living faggot.


Immaturity and not taking responsibility.


Probably got implants, which was a good move. She was a surfboard before. You can't get anywhere in hollywood without tits. Christina Hendricks is only famous because she's busty.


I miss The Giant Omelette


I went from +40 to -9 on this, that's a record.

Edit: also I'm downvoting you because your comment is fucking stupid.


Obviously fake. They got the USB in on the first try.


Nobody cares, fake Apastolate.


Awesome, dude, me too! All in all, it cost me about a grand.


OmMMG!!! StTOppp bEEING SoOO iGnorATnt!!! ThOsE pOEPLE aRE PeOPLe lIke U aNd MeE!!!

 #DIVERSITY


Additionally, some (all? I'm not sure) states now have early voting for a week or two before "election day" so that as many people as possible can make arrangements to get to the polls.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Early_voting


You are now RES tagged as "Shitler". Enjoy!


It would be inconvenient for the companies who put weird shit in their products.


So why is iPhone the best selling device? They were first to introduce what we today call a smartphone, they were the first to introduce the retina display and so on. By the way the previous tablets and smartphones was pretty non-userfriendly and pretty ugly in comparison.


Me: "Everyone knows Age of Empires 2. Why would you specify it's a Medieval Strategy Computergame?"

*Chaecks. Game's from 1999.*

I feel old now. Great game though, I still play it from time to time with my friends.


YES. Couldn't have said it better myself


It is easier to achieve something when you know it's been accomplished before. I would have made a 900 years earlier if someone else had already done it.


No the SlapStand brand is the genuine produt ... This one has a really strong glue ... I have bought the u-touch brand in the past and yes u-touch are bad quality..


But the TL;DR kills it


LOLOLLOLOLOL cuz cunt and dick hold the same weight, same context, same background, and men are expected to never be aggressive unless they want to be labeled a slur.

Hahahahahahahaha you're just an ignorant piece of poo.


Yeah that's ugh, yeah that's something


Nah, we got microbrews. ;)


"College freshman Griffin admits to knowing how to use a phone"


Who throws a shoe? *Honestly*!


I'm willing to cooperate on this.


Get a pc....? I mean dark souls with no lag in blight town running 60fps and texture mods.. it's worth the time and money


She's going to shit when she watches Reservoir Dogs.


i was once supported my wife by calling her bionic but then i took an arrow too the knee


So what you're saying is I should keep on applying to be your intern?


We don't really have money to spend. But yes spend all the money!
I'm not saying we should spend lives either,  it's just how I look at it.


Oh lemme try

One got shot in the face

The other didnt


extremely well for it... because the hyper-wealthy who really run the country like what he says. http://tripotic.com


For 1 mill and party hat, I marry u.


I don't know how else better to describe [CHRISTIANITY](http://i.imgur.com/g4aFl.jpg)


Geez, Mitt, save it for the next debate.


LOL HE WILL FUCKN RAPE HER BUTT ND SHE WILL BE GAY HOMOFUCK LOL CUZ EVERY1 EET BUTTZ.


She can do side bends or sit-ups to promote a healthy lifestyle and shed unwanted pounds after child birth. Please ask politely (but firmly) that she not work out so much on her glutes.


People also still remember Hitler and his crazy antics.


Simply amazingly plaid, I was excited to read this thread and now i am let down, I don't even want to read the other responses now.

EDIT: Great top comment on reddit is because I am an idiot.


PETA needs to focus on not slaughtering all the animals they say they are saving.

https://www.petakillsanimals.com/


"That's my boy!" -Dad.

'ahem?!?!' -Mom.

"Erm, go to your room! Tell your mom I took away your Xbox"- Dad

But I don't have an XBOX- me

"You do now"- Dad.


Big-pharma is losing money, so they up their 'social media' propaganda to drive people to get their vaccinations/flu-shots.


Hezbollah are Shia, AQ and ISIS are Sunni. They are on opposite sides in the Syrian civil war.


Just cuz he got dressed up doesn't mean he's a good teacher.


The 20 minutes of unsubtitled Wookie dialogue is when I knew I was in for a train wreck hitting a nuclear power plant inside a concentration camp.


you mean Reddit is not the place to go when you're looking for who killed your friend?


well, living has a 100% fatality rate


For all you celtics fans that downvoted me I cannot wait to play yall


That was ruthless, brutal, and vicious.   I'm stealing it.


No it doesn't, walking doesn't work the muscles enough to do that, jogging does, so does running, but not walking.

Edit:Oh reddit so cute, down voting someone for giving knowledge that you can learn in a 9th grade weight training course.

Edit 2: keep'em coming your downvotes make me no less correct.

Edit 3: *places downvote collection bucket* I'll cash these in eventually.


"I'd like to order..."

*Do you think he will order:*

*A: a sofa*

*B: an expensive haircut*

*or C: a patty?*


whats with all the fucking "v"s faggot?  it makes you look like a queer.


well it's decided then!


Because I installed a trojan on your pc and checked your browsing history.


don't have a meal

skin starts to peel

everybody doing the krokodil!


Some steroided up guy that stole Christian Cage's name.


This is the biggest tragedy.

My big hope is that him and Colbert reunite for one last election night coverage.


No need to have someone else beat him or arrest him just kick him in his balls as hard as you possibly could and he'll never do it again


> they in fact are a functioning society who actually live that way, not actors.

Actors, of course, having no place in a functioning society.


English motherfucker, do you speak it!?


Larry King was a child when the Dead Sea was still getting sick.


sigh...
fit is one thing. Overly muscular is completely different.


"Oh, it's Payton."

"Well shit, lady!"


How is it possible to smear an organization as classless and corrupt as the Patriots? Even if you wrote something off the top of your head that was awful, it would probably turn out to be true anyway. Cheating cheating and more cheating, murderers on the team, you name it.


*I'm not drunk, I'm speaking in cursive.*


Have fun in your little fantasy land kiddo


This girl understands economics


That's really all you could think? Not "Wow, she must have been hurting bad to attempt something like that", not "Oh shit, I hope she can get some help", but "What a bitch". Seriously?


This could be bioluminescent phytoplankton brought about due to the wake of your ship. Or Cthulhu.


I used to bring out the stupid in everyone, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


:-(

Now, your joke's complete.


I hope not, I hope the 4chan militia catches wind of this and abuses him verily the best way they know how. That would make me happy.


I actually burst out laughing. I'm imagining Chris Brown on a laptop and then reading that comment and slamming the laptop shut and shoving it away.


>You seem to be under the impression that LGBT people are somehow special and deserving of special treatment. This is called entitlement.

Hahahaha, fuck you.


I was saying it's genius because it's obviously simplistic humor. It's like posting a child's drawing and titling it "look at this work of art". It's part of the joke. Went a bit over your head I see...


give me the formuoli


Thankfully we won't have to worry about their waste for long.


The current geico marketing team are fucking wizards. They have like 5 running characters right now, their commercials are the most quoted, and they even have self-referencing commercials when one gimmick becomes big enough.


yeah but not Carrie, she does noting much rather have a smart asain then her.


I've done the same!  Instead of 8, I'd create 7 and my 8th person of the houes would be the landlord, a fat, pug-nosed cholo that I named Juan To-bang-me.  All the girls would be insanely in love with Juan and fight each other for him.

Eventually Juan died in a fire caused by the oven because all he did was yell at it.


Yeah man, watching a lady get hit and cry -- made me feel kind of sad.

Even if she was a dumb bitch that needed a smack...

MY HEARRRRRT


OP, don't be a statistic.

http://i.imgur.com/IdCRd2H.png


I'd put Edelman over Sanders, but I'm biased because Edelman is my waifu.


Asian person here. I can't identify myself in a kindergarten class picture. I am only able to narrow it down to 3 possibilities.


I'll greatly accept your downvotes, reddit. It just means i'm getting to you on a subconscious level. You all know this word is greatly overused and fucking annoying.

"I found this underrated gem in a garage sale: stepbrothers"

Fuck you faggots.


"Ok, right, now that's a game misconduct....AND AN ASS KICKIN AHHBLARGHHPEWPEWBLAHHHH"


Your words speak for themselves.


Columbus was an idiot.  He decided, all on his own, that the formulas were wrong and the world was smaller than the math said it was.  So he decided that he could get the East Indies by going west and that's exactly what he did.

By all rights, Columbus should have *died*.


LOL REDIT IS FUL OF NO LIFES!!! SEROUSLY!!! TEY COMPLIN ABUT NOT HAVE GIRLFRINED BUT THEY DECIDE!! TO SEE !!! SHIT LIEK THIS EVERYDAY!!!


Whenever I see a white person in my neighborhood I assume they're either a social worker of some kind or an undercover cop.


And you have zero posts to /r/transgender and a lot to SRD so i dont think you saw the /r/transgender one first.


You are so disgustingly raided and shot for your bacta at the word 'go'.


"look at me!! all those presents inconvenienced ("overwhelmed") me, but i responded to each and every one!! those presents were annoying but i'm a great person!!"

you're a fucking coward and a murderer and i hope you get redeployed and  killed you loathsome piece of shit. how many brown infants did you splatter into the pavement? fuck you. die


Maybe you should stop typing then  :O


Eh, it's better than deleting his post or banning him.  He has his opinion, I just think it doesn't have a place on this subreddit.


>some virgin redditor

The joke writes itself.


But america worst country ever they kick you off parks


top 10 hospital in the country. not concerned =)


I am honored to be the most hated person on reddit by simply being a decent human being.

congratulations to me


Missed an opportunity there... He said it without batting an eye.


I used to feel the same way, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I love how Alien Blue still gave me the option to click something


Freeman and I are friends, I was testing the theory that Reddit LOVES reposts...and it worked haha


Heaven: kerbal space program being played by a competent player

Hell: kerbal space program played by me


>le I can confirm this being a former call center employee.

>"Thanks for calling le AT&... I mean, le Republic. I work for le Republic."

FTFY xD


My sister thought that Canada was a communist country up until I corrected her.

She was 28. We're Canadian.


Oh look some guy who lives millions of miles away and he wants to tell me what my country is like!

Everything you wrote is bullshit. Specially #2. Iran has more than shit for industry. Where do you think all the engineers and scientists work? MacDolan's?


>Japanese fighting fish

It would sound more like this "あなたがfuckinのいくつかのあなたは「脚の長いやつをfuckinの欲しい！私はクソ屋があるでしょう"


So fuckin edgy! Drugs are so hot right now, hansel. If I mention drugs in my comments, some serious edginess will appeal to my homies and shit! Fuck ya! Cussing is edgy too! Cut myself with that edge and do some meth while I'm at it! I'm gonna live 5 ever!!!

Edit:

#>tfw the joke goes over reddit's head

: ^ D thatsthejoke.jpg


>...so I turned away to hide it. On the way off the subway, she stopped in front of me...

...I could feel the spaghetti starting to fall out of my pockets...


BARON VON ANAL BEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omfgg thats rich


A former celebrity child star wanted to rub his .... on my arm. I was fully clothed. He picked me in the line up for having the hairiest arms. I'm not even hairy..


I don't, my family full of perfectly normal not trashy people.


... How the fuck did you guess that.


http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/

Don't look at this, you might find a person that died in a way that you can't help but find funny.

Edit - at this point I want to add this is darker then my humor. That does not take away that there is dark humor. Fun to see this side of reddit.


Compared to FIFA, the IOC is a shining beacon on the hill.


Huh, I tried to reply to this before and my reply disappeared.

Anyway, in a word, no. Nor any other site. I spend most of my work day finding people who are spamming Reddit and other sites and getting them to stop.


>Why have you stopped texting me cat facts? I thought we had something special.


"I was a gladiator at the Colosseum, and all I got was a bloody death."


you mean...a device that performs a useful function, but...*doesn't ever need batteries or coal, or any oil-based fuel?*

What manner of sorcery is this? you should patent this because this is a game changer that will revolutionize the future!!


The one I think is prettier.


"Press 'F' to pay respects" shows up in the latest Call of Duty, Advanced Warfare. It is now a dank meme.


that's not a mohawk a mohawk is spiky, this is a fake mohawk or fauxhawk my pubic hair is styled this way.


I had to leave New York to head to Miami with 11 dollars in my pocket and start knocking on doors.


Uh oh **what**? Shut the fuck up


I always bring the dick.


Islam isn't a *race* you fucking moron.

It's a cult.


I thought you said baby..

"Honey wheres the baby?"

"Fuck if I know, but this ice cream tastes weird!"


By my calculations, that's also when you looked your best


I used to doodle tanks with swastikas on them, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I live in Alaska. Last winter my house reformed wrong and I had to walk a mile to go to the bathroom.


I used to go around correcting grammar like you. Then I took an arrow to le knee...


Yeah we don't talk about that here, okay?


True but I wouldn't consider KBK masters to be a **major** korean tournament. KBK was a 10 player tournament that lasted one night while OSL was a 2 week long tournament with way more players which grew to be the most prestigious broodwar tournament in the world.


Good one, Rogue. I thought Professor X made it very clear that a blowjob from you could kill a guy.


Why would you say "end tinfoil hat" when you mean to indicate that you're putting the tinfoil hat back on?

Do you not understand how your own joke works?


Rodents have no gag reflex you say...........


LOL. I gigle evertime some stupid teen misinterprets the stupid cliche bullshit floating around in their head as a novel thought. Get's me every fuckin time LOL. BTW, teens should get off reddit. You have nothing to contribute that's interesting, so shut the fuck up and log the fuck out. Fuck you very much.


What if you were to sneak around the house carefully placing ear muffs on everyone's head like some sort of sexual grinch?


Came to say that, have my upvote.

Edit: ok got it r/crappycomment

Edit 2 : [I don't care anymore](http://i.imgur.com/62LIYr8.png)


I think a one bedroom apartment with 2 beds is called a dorm.


umm do use the internet? who upvoted you?  almost every dropdown menu has this where you hit the first letter or number of your selection and it goes to it, I googled enter age and the very first dropdown menu i found does this
http://signup.budlight.com/

Edit: lol alright i did not get the sarcasm i think that was obvious once i provided a link
lol most downvotes ever for me =(


> Rail Industry

heh


Is it me, or does Michael Jackson's music sound way fucking more awesome since he died?

Fucking way cool.


> roaming free, like motherfucking bison.

I can't even explain why this was hysterical to me.


MP3's cost. I don't do freebee's.


Belly button piercing? Damn, won't that hurt?


That or he's full of it and typed the whole thing one-handed. He was

> deployed to a combat theater

and sleeping... where?


I just thought they were twins lol


No offense but they signed up for this. They deserved it, these are the Nazis of our times and to fight them and kill them is the greatest thing in the world!


Sure thing. Do you like cats?


i'm gonna take a wild guess here and say you must be gay?


How ironic. The only guy who hadn't seen her naked...


I used to shake hands, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


That's the version you told your wife, tell us the real version


this is the internet you dont need fucking memes to communicate your ideas FUCK


what's a small violin got to do with watching porn?


WTF? What the hell is this "2/10" shit? You are such a dumbass.


HE WENT TO FUCKING DISNEYWORLD?


> Do you know how long that took to type on my phone?

Do you think I care, Frenchie? I really don't. You have completely failed to answer you question. Can you name a country besides the US which has just as many civil liberties? I can't and I highly doubt you could either. We Americans care about our rights. Looks like the rest of the world does not.


>It's not like we're pooping all over ourselves while we shower.

Speak for yourself.


You, sir, are an idiot.


Don't forget reduced support cost due to the fact that there would be fewer people on older versions.

That shit aint trivial


So the tsunami in Japan was actually a large wave of semen. It all makes sense now.


My girlfriend is a doctor and constantly pushes my veins around with her fingers and talks about how she wants to stick needles in them.  You healthcare people are fuckin weird.


You are someone who never really grew past high school, or you would realize that making fun of someone based on their choice of fashion makes you a troglodyte.


I preferred "Only 1 out of 10 girls can suck my dick".
  It worked every time.


why tips are not mandatory also in my state servers make as much as everyone else 9.25 an hour which still isn't enough but in my opinion there are a ton of minimum wage employees who deserve tips more than servers


Hey man. I wrote this comic! You can see it [here](http://www.cheerupemokid.net/comic/2010/02/01/dog-part-1) (it's split up into ten parts).

*Edit: I'm kind of sad looking at the picture now and noticing that the url and even the "by me" text was removed. What's the purpose of that?


Beautiful. Keeping it fresh, indeed!


I initially thought you meant the failing book store 'Borders'.


Good for you. Here's a piece of advice though: you probably LOVE using pirate mode because you suck at kickball so hard and it makes you feel better to pretend you're tough.

Edit: I write the most irrelevant comment, for the purpose of insulting someone at random, and there are people still giving me upvotes. There's a formula for comment karma and I've almost cracked it.


Wow.  I mean the reasoning is there. After all chocolate milk comes from Brown cows.


Says the top mod of /r/HaHaHolocaust/  ^

People will find out the truth.  Your crew are toxic.

edit: I was actually about to add Gore again due to a conversation with Addy until I found out about this connection.


Oh, and a lot of us were on drugs frequently.  A buddy of mine took mushrooms before his shift and I had to drag him away from the flashing lights at the skee ball game and send him home.  He was tripping balls, man.


Because hitting is always the right thing to do.  Reddit is full of dickheads.  Seriously.  The kid threw a cup at a duck.  Probably a paper cup.  And some guy with anger problems decides to get out of his vehicle and start punching this kid for that?  The guy is the biggest piece of shit ever.


The Iraqis must be very rich if they can afford to use bombs instead of alarm clocks.


ass-red is my favorite shade of red.

EDIT: well that escalated quickly.


Of course not. That's racism, and racism is a crime. And crime is for black people.


That's awesome? Are you a 13yr old girl? Srsly


If this is true, you probably win this. Also, happy cake day...

edit: thanks for gold


https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette

Upvote it and move on.


ive been saying that before it was cool.


Probably something like; "Derka derk allah gihad falluja baghdad!"


and post it on Reddit afterward.  please.


I used to like Daisies, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I hate to break this to you, but Kenny Kravitz slept with your girlfriend.


I came here to quote the same thing...god thats funny.

EDIT: Really? I must've misunderstood the point of being able to comment. &#3232;\_&#3232;


You know what? After my surgery, I have a glass lens that was put in my eye, I now have the same color eyes!


Are you gonna cry bro?


That's a terrible reason to feel bad about bullying someone.


You asked if it was supposed to be me, and obviously it isn't because she's not underweight. Also I'm a guy.


Mark her arm! It's the only way to be sure!


Worst comment i have read on this subreddit! Have a downtoke!


Definitely sounds like something a New Yorker would say.


> Help

For Christ's sake what's with summer noobs and saying "help" on every little thing?


I once suggested to my little brother that he pluck his unibrow. He was about 12 or 13 at the time. The next day I'm getting yelled at because he plucked them back so far  that there was only half a brow on each side.


No offense, but you're kind of an idiot for spending $1700 on that ugly piece of shit.


I double-clicked upvote for you.


Thanks for adding that to the conversation by the way

And I like how you think me calling her delectable is creepy, while the top post openly admitting to wanking to her after the very first episode is not...

May be you got mixed up there, LOL

Edit : you really have to love this sub, I keep getting upvoted for my OP, and downvoted for this...


My wife simply refers to that as "bitch hair".


Yeah just ask the twin towers.

Edit: Too soon?


I've heard "if Mexicans think in English, why do they bother translating it into Spanish when they speak?" That was back in my 9th grade Spanish class. Some people...


I know two of those people personally and regard them as friends.

They're nothing close to what you think.  Try opening your mind, redditor.


>For people trying to lecture us about the nature of community you can sure be petty, smug, and condescending assholes.

Now you're getting the hang of it.


news flash, the muscles dont grow when you work them, they get bigger from blood flow thats all. most people would be better off working out twice a week and fixing their sleeping and eating patterns to get huge. I'm leaving r/fitness in favor of a place without such idiots.


You sound like the world's worst Husband/Dad.


Chill bruh not discounting the triple double talking about the win.

Edit: calling it a great win is quite a stretch


And the size of a 6 month old baby.


im posting here to see if he does.


I don't think so. We'll just crush them again when I repost this question next Friday.


HI ASKWEDDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WOKE UP LATE TODAY CAWSE I ATE DA TO MANY COOKEES YESTURDAY BUT NOW I FINE GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I really was.  In my defense, I was 19.  I'm 31 now...I got better.


no he didnt, and no it didnt.


I learned something.

I learned Obama's anniversary is on the 3rd of October.


Yeah. At ths point, I am. I've given up on having a discussion. I'm down on your level now. Enjoy.


Annnddd now I'm gonna say that every time him being a cop fucks up my chances of hooking up.


I used to go fast, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I was raised as a Southern Texas Gentleman. The rule is that you never hit a lady, and having female parts does not make you a lady.


I used to do better, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Oh god.  As a microbiologist, this is horrifying.


There are so many things wrong with  what you just said.  You're not worth my time anymore.


Seriously, he should just shut up and eat the candy.


still not funny. called for? sure. but it's just not funny is all.


Does this Friday work for everybody?


I wouldn't trust a pit bull near my two year old, near would I trust my child to be near an African American whilst unsupervised

So many Redditors are asexual nerds without a family to care for, they have no responsibility, they are responsible for no lives but their own, that must make it so much easier to be idealistic at the expense of reality


I came here expecting torrents of celebrities, and found floods of emotion instead.


It really wasn't necessary to add in the fact you're a female gamer. No one cares.


It's okay, I don't actually have it :'( Just saw the opportunity for a funny joke


It doesn't really disgust me.  These guys make millions of dollars to man up and play.  If they can't, they deserve normal money like the rest of us.  Fantasy football is now intertwined into regular football and has been a large part of the meteoric rise in the popularity of the NFL as of late.  If you can't take the heat, get out of the fucking kitchen.  This is a man's game.


This is a big gno gno.


ಠ_ಠ

**edit:** OK, was that too subtle? Look at the picture, now back at the look of disapproval. You're downvotes are now diamonds.


Duck-sized horses, **FOR SURE**.


he wanted me. i'd rather eat glass.

and if you think it's about being "masculine" you're wrong.  there's nothing masculine about being a self-hating insecure wimp who's still terrified of things deemed to be "gay stereotypes"

you're just showing that you're not terribly intelligent. kudos!


Give her NOTHING. It makes a bolder statement.


Goo GAH MAMA DADY NO touch VAginea!!!!!!!!!!!!! But then I took an arrow to da knee!


When I was a kid, a perceptive classmate explained as "It's probably like how you can't see what's behind you."


good on him. that's more than many other modern religions have been willing to do. as progressive as pope Francis may be he still heads a religion that explicitly excludes women on a doctrinal basis


Was it more mean before?


If that is correct, I'd absolutely love to test the wind and shock patterns in Africa. Can never have to much data.


Maybe she didn't know he had a girlfriend.


Haha voice to text is awful. You can only say like 3 words at a time and have to enunciate everything very clearly or else it completely fucks up what you're trying to say. I was going off pretty good on this guy when he cut me off and it only managed to catch like 1/3 of what I was saying.


I don't like your comment.


Sometimes when you make rules like "Don't fall asleep in my house" after hosting a generous house party, it makes sense.

It's pretty frustrating.


Pro tip: Staying in a building during an earthquake is a great way to be killed by falling building


They'll come last. I don't want to build the walls and then run out of room to build the rest of the city.


BUT ON THIS DAY OP WILL NOT THINK WITH HIS PENIS!

WE'RE ALL PROUD OF YOU OP.


As sure as you are that your sky daddy exists?


"He has a lower libido than I do, so, not so great."


what about news from a long time a go are they still not news their not olds


The kid is an innovator.


Each experience gives you one thing, but takes away another.

Orgy with couple of guys you met at a bar an hour ago isn't really how sex should be and I am find your comment really sad. I hope you do not represent the majority of women (as it appears in this thread).


Just how I like my women.


HAHA this guy will never have a six pack. OP you're naturally a fatty. Very little you can do about it. Go eat some more chocolate and get realistic.


Yes, that was my original fuck up. Usually, I don't ever go to anyone's house. Lesson learned - it could have been worse.


"We're fine raping your kids, but you be careful how you hit them because you wouldn't want to harm their dignity."


I came here to laugh, not eat a bowl of Honey Nut Feelios.


Fucking nailed it. Upvote.