It is not the man's job to make your partner wet.She has to make herself wet. Just like I make myself hard.

but you feminist cunts are always trying to blame the man


Spite kept you from killing yourself.  For its philosophical implications, I find that amazing.


The word 'hero' is way overused.   I think he did what any decent person would do.  Only a shitbag would have done otherwise.


     / \
     | |
     | |
    |ಠ_ಠ|


we beat ourselves. Sounds like something the men would say ha ha


Well things aren't always so black and white.


thanks for adding to the conversation


>hiding their friend's lunch

That's something Osama Bin Laden would orchestrate.


I support multiple teams. There's no flair for that.

Piss off, you uncreative oxygen-thief.


So *that's* where your username came from!

EDIT: Holy Jesus' taint! I leave for two days, and double my total karma. Score!


i lik yur hat **YOLO**


It's a 100 μm latex sphere. [Here's the machine being used on a mouse zygote.](http://i.imgur.com/rncL5Al.jpg)


Well you either have to believe he wasn't injured, or at least grossly exaggerating the extent of the injury, which I believe, or you have be honest that he's taken too many hits behind a shitty line and he's breaking down early.  You cant have it both ways.


I'm confused as to what they see in tu right now.


Thats a high risk for $5


do people really have $2750 monthly salaries? sounds more like hourly work to me.


This is an odd and unnecessary post.


6 upside down is 9. 11 upside down is 11.

**9/11 WAY TOO SOON**


Thank god it's over with..

Hopefully we can get back to some QUALITY SC2 Programming.

Not MLG crap


eye tattooing?!?! that's how he got the whites of his eyes like that?? yikes, sounds painful


Yeah unfortunately. Destiny did nothing illeagal. She sent him those pictures he has a right to do whatever he wants with them. She HACKED his e-mail. She should be facing criminal charges. I let those idiot /r/starjerkers know a peice of my mind.


Nice try Every Call of Duty player.


Please tell me English is your 2nd language.


>  I didn't even know what happened.

this is the real story. you don't know what happened, your parents told you something cute and now you're an adult and still believe it.

ps: santa isnt real


I don't think you are smart enough to use the term "poetic justice".


Lots of ass shots, witty banter and stylish violence.


I'm willing to argue that if this was the case, maybe he shouldn't have been toting a toddler around while prowling the streets with his gang crew.

Just sayin'.


"I'll save you!" *Crunch* "Aargh, my spine won't move anymore!".


Praise Fibonacci.  FTFY


quoting Thoreau at a 12 year old? genius


it is hard for you to believe that im doing an engineering degree?


"Ay there, mate`! Howa bout' we go fer a shrimp on the barbie! Scootlin' all these crocks on thar fair waters, matey!"

I was trying to do an australian type of thing, but it just turned into this retarded pirate..


she's a man face and always has been


DAE /u/Vargas?  What a character lol he's literally the king of leddit.  I submit all of his comments to /r/bestof because of how life changing they all are!


And before, really having to pee can make things uncomfortable.


I am confuse. Do I downvote one too?


But you made her task so much easier.


Oh look, this pun again.  Still predicatively entertains this vapid crowd.


It was the best thing ever. It took 4 hours to film which would turn into 3-4 episodes. I love improv because we are the masters of our fate


And you wonder why Americans are all spherical and you have a diabetes epidemic.


This. And "caught before the act?" Do you really think that? If they were alone for 8 hours, it was more likely you caught them before round 3.


What does it say? I'm sorry, but there are almost no blacks in my country, so I can't read emotions from their faces.


Tyler Seguin of the Boston Bruins was born in 1992. His name is on the Stanley Cup.


Haha, I am 25 and childless and I don't even drink 9 drinks per month! I haven't tried to quit or cut back or anything, but my desire to drink has waned as I get older. I frequently pour a glass of wine to have with dinner and then forget about it after a few sips. Ever when I want to go crazy and get drunk, it's hard!


You seem to type pretty well for a dog.

Edit: Please stop replying with [this image.](http://i.imgur.com/4NRMM.jpg)


Yeah I guess. But most of the time it's because the other girl is jealous because she doesn't get enough attention.


**P**eople
**O**rder
**O**ur
**P**atties


True. a church is a regular thing, welcoming and inviting (coming from an atheist) a cult is violence and forced into doing things against your will. a church will never control who you see/where you go.


"Shit, we gotta tell someone that we're going to get killed!"

"But we can't say we snuck out, they'll kill us!"


Wait a second your renowned for personality in SC2 and barely any achievements in SC2 tournaments so far

Pot calling the kettle black


I wonder how many little wooden plugs you need to assemble the TV.


post a pic then, jackass, ALL your pics are from a journal, and not your own


"Anybody with that vagina should be proud and loved. And bought lunch for everyday.

I like chicken sandwiches, just to say."


Him being ineffective was more due to the fact that he was played in the wrong position. He is never good at AM, always works best when playing alongside Matic. Mourinho went for a more defensive 4-3-3 instead of the 4-2-3-1 in which Fabregas is more effective.


lol yes, often while im high, but thats just being high isnt it?

WHAT IF!?


dohohohoh it's so funny.  You took, who my username is based off of, and assume it's me!


The late Robert Mitchum. Great actor but we seemed to miss. Lot's of one word answers. Maybe I was off, maybe it was him, but we didn't have the chemistry and I would like to get that night back. I really admired his work.


I used to Enable Plug-ins only on demand, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


*sigh*

[He's the villain reddit needs.](http://imgur.com/weCyS)

EDIT: Holy Batman, this is my highest karma grossing comment ever. Thanks guys, I couldn't have done it without you.


so the point of this subreddit is to be as much of a dumb ass as possible? good job dudes you're killing it.


TWIST: he took special Ed classes at a young age and knows from experience


REALLY BUDDY? Your team doesn't even EXIST anymore. And I'll have you know that iggy's takin us deep in the playoffs.  Shut the fuck up when you' re talking to me before I embarrass you


Shut the fuck up, that meme is over.


i love to listen to everything


You know frivolous lawsuits is a US thing only right? The rest of the world kind of manages to, you know, talk things out.

Also, I could just made it all up, right?


Your parents were dicks for being so insensitive. :( Hope you're doing better now!


WatchOutWereDealingWithABadass.jpg


aaand I learned something today.


Good? More like the best! Does anyone want to start a donation drive for this kid? Maybe get him some money for Lego and a brand new PC? I don't know just an idea, either way please post some more videos from your brother, i personally don't mind spending a few minutes watching his videos if it will make his day.


My favorite "celeb sighting" was Keanu Reeves. I was in line at Starbucks and up ahead  was this mother and her baby boy. The baby started crying and looked really upset. Keanu just cut the line and picked up the baby, removed his shirt and started breast feeding it right then and there.


Wouldn't that make /r/subredditdrama just r/drama? :P


No guilt, not my kid, gut busting laughter.


Haha yeah you know those two fools were filling each other's slutty little anuses with their bombadildos on the reg


Some Welsh person is muttering, "Psht! Amateur..."


I disagree. I think what the judge did was fair and he did it calmly.


So? It's easy to make a great burger at home, and yet people go out to fast food joints for a fix.

**edit**

I'm surprised how many people want to believe marijuana will somehow resist becoming commercialized if it becomes legal.


Pretty sure that's against r/NBA rules brotha


Do we all agree..Rule is terrible, call was good?


LOLOLOLOLOL read the fucking title


Unless you live in Texas. Then the fans are always on. Always.


So if I'm waiting in line to buy something, and the guy behind me yells out that he wants it, I shouldn't be allowed to buy it?


Cock feel good.

Ears feel pain!


WAIT!!.. if my calculations are correct.. HALF-LIFE 3 CONFIRMED!


we also have a somewhat related saying:

"Leichte Schläge auf den Hinterkopf erhöhn das Denkvermögen"

"Slight hits to the back of the head raise mental accuity".

sooo, we think weve found a way to "fix" stupid.


How about people who are already overweight, but who like to consume factory farmed torture meat because they enjoy the taste?

That describes a large portion of the western world and no one seems to have much of a problem with it. Kind of strange if you ask me.


I have negative one years.  I should get on that.


Two packs of cigarettes aren't against the law.

EDIT: downvoted for the truth lol keep up the circlejerk


Still not as bad as [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQYwFND7rHE)


Or a troll being a troll.  Did writing that gain you some happiness or satisfaction?


He probably has "get down" syndrome...


come on you know it's true. Last post season was brutal. I really want to like the Clips but CP3 flopping and Blake instigating more altercations just makes me not want to root for the,


That was stupid of the government. Now the Egyptians that didn't bother to protest because they were on the internet will have to go outside and find something to do.


Built the stadium and then lost the first game he coached there.

Thanks for the memories, Jim.


"Is that a bald spot I see?" "Yeah, maybe you could donate some hair from your upper lip to fill it in, that'd be win-win right? Right?!"


If you really didn't know that before then I feel bad for you. But then again, you're American so I can't really expect you to know anything other than where the nearest KFC is.


Maybe he should move away from the mic to breath in.


In your face.13 and knew what this is.


You better leave that typo as it is.


trannies are gross brah.

*edit for /sarc.  wow a lot of you got butthurt, huh?  pun intended.


ATTENTION FUTURE READERS:

go to this link to find out the context of this post:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/i9kl2/help_sister_in_law_just_caught_me_fapping_in_her/

problem solved.


Is there any specific reason for me to do so?


I was head of the DARE program in my school.

I was also stoned in math class everyday.


Say what you want but this is seriously wrong.


> I sense a disturbance in the course...

FTFY


**ALL ABOARD THE KARMA TRAIN**


Hammer to the kneecaps. Amazon.com aint nothin to fuck with.


>And several other people.

[citation needed]

>If you know her on IRC, she'll try and fail to frame you of pedophilia.

again, [citation needed]

like... I've seen most of the mythos about laurelai, but I've never seen either of these things claimed by anyone but you, cole.


"When I stop liking it in the ass so much." That'll shut grandma up real quick.


TF2 is pretty much a mix of halo and cod nowadays.


Haha that sounds totally like me in my earlier days.

EDIT: Because I said awkward things like that a lot. Not because I was fat. I'm not fat.


What does that have to do with what armedcombatexpert said?

Allistair still fucked up regardless of what the other person did.


says nothing says everything


http://i37.tinypic.com/34rwzzs.jpg

What a shitty, overused quote.


My father's favorite quote is "It is better to be quiet and assumed a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

Everyone always tells him to stfu when he says that.


get over yourself dbag


Best way to tell a joke is to keep a straight face.

:|

:]

:'*〉*

Edit:
Thanks anonymous gilder.


Then why didn't... he... write it like this? The function of a comma is to properly distinguish the structure of a sentence, not its timing.


I love that this story was told to the grandkids.


HAHAHAHA my post waas a joke hahahaha you felt for it hahahahahaha you dumb asdufkc


you can keep the Friends dinner plate set but god damn it I'm keeping the motherfucking Tomagotchi


We will need a recent woodcutting of your vagina to make sure.


It's called the Skywalker effect.


if only they had ways of checking out games for a period of time without paying full price.

or perhaps if there was a way of waiting a couple weeks and seeing what kind of general response it gets.

i'm sorry, i'm talking nonsense right now


The first time my little sister got banned it was because she said she was gonna use a hacksaw on someone... o_o


Yeah, it looks a bit like 'fuck'. Why shit like this gets upvoted is beyond me.


Kanye always has a mirror in the room. Kanye can beat off to anything so long as Kanye can make eye contact with Eynak.

Edit: god, I just imagined Kanye having a "swordfight" with his mirror.


Not like it's a business or anything. No one wants they're cards quickly anyway.


>One on One Truth or Dare obviously being used as a prelude to sex

I am so glad someone else has done this


Did you realize the internet would change everything yesterday when you begrudgingly allowed your son to show you Google (or gwoogle as u pronounce it) for the first time?


~~Terrorist~~ Malaysian Airplane Pilot


How about you fuck off you cunt.


I got pulled over once for going 88MPH on the highway. I told the officer that I was trying to go back in time. No ticket.


What are you talking about? I simply stated he is an employee. He is an employee with leverage, but an employee nonetheless. Comparing him to Steve Jobs is idiotic.


Good point, it was four months.  My mistake.


How about people that can't use correct case and punctuation?


This... this sounds fucking awesome. I hope someday I can have a room mate as cool as this.


What about dumbshit rape jokes? You know, for unfunny people?

Edit: Yesssss, Bring the downvotes, your hate gives me power.


And you're usually the coolest in the room. I can't count the amount of times anaesthetists have calmed me down before surgery or just chilled with me after telling jokes and chatting if they notice me in recovery.


Lol next time dont be such a fucking casual


No thats about $76 in thailand.


Eh mah gerd, I'ver bern seryerng ferver merrer mernerters serncer lerst werk. I thernk my fersh derd.


What a collection of jackasses. Why didn't she just drive away when you went into your house? Seems like it would be pretty obvious at that point.


did you forget to unrustle your jimmies this morning?


I would try to contact your state's liquor licensing board.


This sub is ruined by people like the person you replied to. It's over. Now the comments are just full of white people complaining.


I thought it was a novel by Sapphire.


I stared at it for a minute and I felt a little seizure.

By the way, how did this get 1100 upvotes? Quite the cancer! Did anyone actually even chuckle?


Holy fuck that's a quality gizmo. Two years in a freezer? Remember the name by any chance?


My favorite part was running their 200lb, 2nd year RB into the ground, knowing there was nobody with >2 years experience backing him. Just awesome, incredible coaching. Also: 30-year-old who hadn't thrown a pass in 3 years as the backup to your 34-year-old QB with knee/shoulder issues--where do I sign up?!?


Growing up I knew a guy who used to dislocate his shoulder and pop it back in by shoulder-checking a tree. For fun, or to show off, or something.

He drives tanks now.


Yeah, I may have commented like this was /r/RateMe,

I kind of temporarily forgot it was /r/Fitness


I never even brought it up at christmas.


>It couldn't possibly be that I don't want to pay gas money to go a mile down the road.

Are you that cheap?

>once you're over the age of 16, riding a bike is weird.

You've never been in a college town or a large city?


Hm. First article said they had a lease until 2017 and were up to date on their rent. This article says they were month to month and were told to be out by the first of the year. Which is it, I wonder?


Faggggggoooooottttttttt


'This will hurt a shitload' does that make you feel any better?


**THE MRM DOESN'T HATE FEMINISM. WE JUST HATE FEMINISM.**

[**hate group mrm men's rights mensrights reddit**](/r/mensrights)


I'm a chem major, so as soon as I learn how to make meth I'm probably out of here.


And I probably paid for it. Colllege ain't what it used to be. It's now a liberal-party-fest. That's why I strongly believe higher education needs to be reformed.


I used to work at a distrobution center and roughly half of my co-workers were black. One time i brought kfc with me for lunch. As I walked to the fridge to put it away I noticed that all the black guys were starring at me, and then one of them told me " you know that aint gonna be there when you get back". I was honestly kind of scared.


> These "Rangers" need to grow up. This isn't middle school.

Don't even try to say shit when you have no experience with it. Watching someone fucking die is ***NOTHING*** like what you think it is, and that is tenfold when it happens in a warzone. So until you've had to watch someone get fucking shot infront of you like these guys did, don't talk.


Its cool there is a new diaper for adults. Its pre lubricated and ready to handle a load of cum. So you wear this diaper into the strip club. Pay for a lap dance and and have this woman or man grind all over you. It feels like a vagina thanks to the lube. Then you just cum in your pants and on you way home. I think its time to legalize prostitution.


C-C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I7Ue2wX6iQ


I know you were. I upvoted you. X


I don't give two shits and a fuck?


I think you've stumbled upon a wonderful idea! I'll just substitute "lavender" with something manly like "engine oil" or "tobacco" or "flaming chainsaws"


No.  Nothing would "make it right" at this point in the eyes of many here, and I'm sure bspoka got his kicks out of this situation - it was what he seems to have been looking for in the first place.


But I gotta wipe the blood somewhere!


Title: **Benelli** Shotgun Amazing Shots

edit: why the downvotes?

edit2: may i have more downvotes please

edit3: oh I get it now. :)


Because it's a stupid business idea.


That's funny since [no one ever googled it before the books came out](http://www.google.com/trends/explore#q=%22May%20the%20odds%20be%20ever%20in%20your%20favor%22).

I mean, I expect a spike after but if it's so popular you'd think there'd be at least something before then.


Now if only Trapped_in_Reddit would comment. It would be the ultimate Reddit threesome of comments.


I'd love to upvote you for that but the Z is just too strong.


...The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation


"union activity" = acting like thugs

When I was in school the teachers went on strike. The students needed a police escort cross the strike lines after a teacher was arrested for throwing a brick at a school bus window. For an entire week the union thought it was good idea for the teachers to swear at the kids going to school and leaving the school.


And before that we ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ate.


Go back to mexico you damn spaniard.


>I don't do drugs. I *am* drugs.

-Salvador Dali.


You sir are a faggot.


WOAH. That got heavy. I thought this was gonna be "would I have tons of friends now?" and the answer would have probably been, nope.

But, that...


I read

>us (i.e. Russia) vs. them (i.e. "The West").

as

us (le Russia) vs. them (le "The West").

I think I need to log out now..


its all that lotion you use


If you have an IQ over what a monkey has you would understand, but you dont sadly.


"Everyone died."

"Actually, everyone survived. I miscounted."


I was thinking the same thing. I usually have a good intuition for /r/Unexpected posts, but this one surprised me.


Really? For life? Don't you think one or two years would be enough? Should we punish their offspring as well?


or...  Never pick a fight with an old man, he may be unable to fight, in which case he will just kill you.


You're making sensible people look bad. This place is a fuckin looney bin and being banned permanently would be a badge of honor, and I am well aware of the consequences of posting my info, thanks, but I'm not worried about a bunch of cowardly miscreants. Whois all you want. Saints fans need no help looking bad.


Get this woman some Nickelback.


It's my opinion, chill out


Ahh reddit. The only place where the person with the biggest tits is a guy.


Lol, fucking potheads... Go graduate college or something.


"No kids"

Ahhhhh that's why


I was just gonna say this xD


I was laying in bed with a girl, each reading a book.  We'd had sex several hours before.  Out of the blue, she looks over and says, "You have a REALLY nice penis," then goes back to reading.  I think it was an economics text book.


I think it's puns, tampax.


Wouldn't it be easier if you had some 24/7 workforce that would "volunteer" their time doing all that laundry?


Yeah, because MVP is definitely not human and could never possibly make a mistake. lol


I know this is against this thread's ideals, but often times in mythical worlds contracts or curses bind you so you cannot tell anyone who put the curse on you, or how to break it outright.


That's not healthy; that's not fit. That's fat.


> that the domains that would be affected are truly at fault.

Drinking the Citizens United Kool-Aid again?  **DOMAINS ARE NOT PEOPLE.  THEY CANNOT BE "RESPONSIBLE" FOR ANYTHING**.


My people. *I've found my people.*


Ridiculous is not "hot".


I worked at disney as well and had guests get mad at me because I couldn't find them a reservation for New Year's Eve. On New Year's Eve. For a family of 12. Yes, it's my fault you didn't plan ahead. Just like this insufferable cunt.


>Care to clarify?

Nope.


Just kidding, we all share. /r/frugal


Seriously? That's pretty short sighted. You have no idea what you're missing by being closed minded. Sorry, it's the truth.


I'm a physicist. When I'm drunk, I call it engineering.


>I want to watch child porn!

-you


>Just don't keep pets outside or they will be kicked, burned with cigarettes, fed rotten food and poisoned. Trust me on that one.

I fucking hate people.


Yeah, better do something more productive like hate on the sort of phrases reddit tells you to hate.

The fuck was he supposed to do? Transcribe the result in the title?


I've actually had a high school teacher who used to do that. He was retiring and well... the kid deserved it.


1. Eat Breackfast
2. Get sum pusy


I'd be scared. That's a lot of number signs.


> It's nothing to feel guilty about;

I didn't mention guilt. You did. I watch porn, I don't get guilty. It's just not something to be proud of.

> nothing immoral about being human.

Didn't mention guilt. Didn't mention immorality. Your pot addled mind has left you incapable of thinking properly. Dumb ass fucking filth.


you are good at hidding it 0_o


I perfectly well know the risks, I'm just not willing to allow anything of that sort.


How do you find the time...


Because I made a sarcastic comment? I still upvoted his comment. It is, in fact, a female lion.


I stopped reading after "page 1 of 24"


Wrong. I have a transgender friend. S/he (I never know which pronoun to use in these cases) has no problem wearing a dress around us.


There is something terribly sad about this. Good story, but poignant.


I don't know if you've ever driven while high, but it's really not dangerous at all, assuming you're not ridiculously baked, but at that point I don't think you'd be able to get to the car in the first place.

EDIT: Downvote all you want, you're still just swallowing the shit you've been told without question.


Dude. You are going to fucking KILL IT on that date. You finally got a date? Nah. She finally got a date with YOU. You sir are a fucking beast, and she's lucky to be hanging out with you.

I got faith in you buddy. Be yourself, be confident, and have fun. And if she's not that into you? That just means you're one girl closer to meeting that special someone that I know is out there for you.


You love saying "more or less." Expand your vocabulary.


Yeah he just went ahead and made a stereotype based on both sex and race


I don't have to prove my self to you.


Also Shift+Windows Key+Arrows moves a program from screen to screen.


Sorry thought you were attacking me like the first guy.   Thanks for the links to OC.

Edit: wow look at the hate for making a mistake and apologizing for it.


but only slightly less well known is never go up against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line.

Hahahahaha.  HA!!


Could not the argument be made that some way, somehow the universe put me in his path? We live in a major city, the chances of this happening are astronomical. I am not at all saying that am the arm of karma's "justice" but I rank hitting women and children right up there with pedophilia and the like. Zero regrets.


Statistics jokes eh, statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.


No it wouldn't. They're heroes. Black lives matter


anti-intellectualism. Also, that people with education should focus on making money. This leads smart people who could do something incredible and useful to focus on greed and status.


NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD


Yeah, as a stranger to kids, if you ask them nicely to do something/not do something, then you are just wasting your breath.


No kidding, this is something I'd expect from a female comedian.


I still think it's ridiculous that I've been given a computer with reddit and Twitter access at work (i.e right now).


Go to your own subreddit and hide if you don't want to hear both sides. You have no right to such protection.


"OH FUCK PLEASE DON'T KILL ME. I JUST WANT TO GO INTO THE OCEAN." -*Crab*


Are you sure she didn't mean, "Thanks for not leaving me even though I can see why you should?"


Just ask him. Try that.


WHY ARE PEOPLE GUILTY. WE SHOULD LET EVERYONE OUT OF JAIL MAN. THEN NO ONE WILL BE A CRIMINAL ANYMORE. CRIME WILL GO DOWN 100% IF WE NO LONGER ARREST PEOPLE MAAAAN. NO MORE COPS, THERE WILL BE NO MORE CRIMINALS EITHER MAAAAAAN. Y HASNT ANYONE THOUGHT OF THIS B4 I'M A GENIOUS.


I had to show my results online. Saved the page to my computer and changed the results in html and edited the location bar to show my school's url.


They're also written so that women can be complete and total bitches and you can't do shit about it. If women really want to be treated like equals, they need to stop expecting men to treat them like fragile, helpless beings. Instead of bitching about every rape joke that exists, they should be trying to get laws like these changed.

Did i trigger SRS or something?


It's going to be one of those videos where the only angle is from behind Kanye's balls and it's just 15 minutes of his balls slapping against her taint.


See this? This is what I'm talking about.


Not too exciting.  I locked myself in the bathroom while she pleaded in a baby voice to let her in and eventually she left.


I meant elite passers, though. Everyone knows Cam is gonna be lighting it up for years.


For the first time, my state is a real topic of discussion, and it's this. Sadface.


that's what she said.


I gotta say any parents that use keyloggers on their kids are a little fucked up. Do you really need to know what they talk to their friends about, and what they masturbate to?


Nice guess! ;)

Edit: Your opinion got a couple up votes. But  fuck you, and my down votes this shit ain't false.


"I feel that having paid someone to train my show horse really qualifies me to be Commander in Chief of the United States military."


Stop trying to refute the original claim made by "Ragnalypse" (-: He has an excellent point and you are killing all the jokes in this thread by making your comment.

I am using my privileges as a **Reddit Gold User** to downvote you into oblivion (-:


Not gonna lie, I'm so alpha that I can admit this whole email sounds pretty great.


there can't be a next time.


Knock knock

Who's there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

I didn't know you could yodel!


you're comparing a subreddit that has a few nsfw links but is mostly about playing with your community in a game that is KNOWN for the mega amounts of homophobia present to one that's nothing but porn?


I had a student the year before pass a note that said "his nipples look like mushrooms.". I couldn't help but laugh and realize it was time to get in shape.


Are you going to tell him about fighting in the Civil War at last weeks LAN party?


You sir, are welcome.


Hows Cam Newton working out for ya?


Your great aunt sounds fucking badass.


I hear often .. power went out, server went down, I just lost an hour's worth of work.

Good. Anyone that doesn't save for that long deserves what they get.


Next stop Apostolate's house!


Don't say yeah like you knew what he was talking about.


They should redefine 'unlimited' based on AT&T and Verizon's definition.


religious people are a special kind of fucking stupid


They parted ways a long time ago.


Wow, its all victim with Arsenal. We're boo-ing him like every other Arsenal player.

Edit: Here is proof: (from 0-35 seconds)http://www.101greatgoals.com/gvideos/stoke-1-arsenal-1/ this is when the post was made.


100 minutes!

Ummm.... No.  Does it?  Does it taste like caramel corn?


HEY LOOK EVERYONE THIS GUY IS A CHRISTIAN!


*At his mama's house (that means mom in German, did you know that?)


Should the United States let people be broke? Debate this at /r/informeddiscussion! :)


lol at "false beard". Not fake. false


Lol, we only hate you less because there are fewer of you. Nice to see all the Americans upvoting you though.

"Good Jahb! Hamburger pat on the back, fellow American tourist"

Edit: Screw you downvoters. Go stuff yourself with your disgusting Five Guys Cockmeat Sandwich. Americans are so fat that when they jumped, WTC collapsed.


"I won a nice quilt from a raffle once."


That still doesn't change the fact that they were sophomores in high school taking on a grown man.


That last sentence is the saddest thing I have ever read. I'm sorry.


Funny how she had to go back in the entire recorded history of humans to compose that short list.


Its ice ice /u/baby_punter


HURRR THEY DIDNT GET A CALLBACK ON A JOB THATS WHY THEY ROB STEAL RAPE AND KILL AT HIGHER RATES!


Well you'll need more than just a single spaghetti, of course.

EDIT: Exactly how many people are going to tell me the *right* to say it?! Hilarious, guys &#3232;\_&#3232;


It's funny, because he probably couldn't read any of that mail.

Because he is retarded.

Edit: sorry, WAS retarded.

Double edit: Get it? Because he's dead.


My dad used to answer the phone when my girlfriend would call "Hello young lady who is far too good for my son"


So, you are assuming that those of adequate finances are guaranteed a place in heaven? That's note quite the way I understood things to be.


I'm 2-years-old and I love frequenting /r/economics to discuss the relative strengths of monetary and fiscal policies.

Brb, getting nappy changed.


I don't see you complaining about any of the other stereotyping on reddit. Why only women?


Be happy you live in a world where you can do these things,  many places in the world an action such as this would lead to your death.  So what if some guy decides to record you, that's his issue to deal with. Run on,  just carry mace.


I'm sure my class would have done the same if they thought I'd be able to find a consenting womb.


Console, obviously. If you can get a computer capable of running top of the line modern games for 500 bucks, tell me immediately.


...quietly whispering to himself, "You're a wizard, Harry."


You have a hurt qb playing against the best secondary barring some miracle turn overs it is going to be a hawks win.


Very true. I don't understand what is wrong with these girls. How can they think having sex is so disgraceful that they are willing to ruin some poor guys life. It makes me so, so mad.


Why does Canada have to send aid in the first place? Oh right, because Israel blocks trade, invades to settle arable land, steals water, and destroys food producing farms. I wonder if the Palestinians are upset about Canada's alliance with their oppressor?


Truly thinking outside the box!


Totally hot, but who goes to Katy Perry shows?


Only on reddit is it possible that a managing editor of the linked article would address readers' formatting issues.  That's a compliment.


> implying she had a soul to begin with..


Totally voting this up.


please use this account wisely and frequently to expose bullshit like this


I'm trying to imagine puberty making you skinny and not mexican.


The fact that it's possible to throw away debatably the strongest planeswalker and essentially a free counter spell ftw is gross. These are 2 of the strongest and most played cards in the format.

In modern, decks splash green just for tarm.

It should've went with treasure cruise.


TELL ME THE COLOUR OF YOUR PUBIC HAIR


Are you serious? Everyone I know refuses to purchase any food or drink from the movie theatres. Some of them weren't hungry, but most walk to the nearest supermarket (3 to 4 minute walk) and buy them for lower prices.


Okay, according to *some anatomy book*, people generally inhale when they cry, which would either make it not possible to cry underwater, or the last thing you do


Omg, ur like, so meta! Kind of like Eva Lovia trash talking Brazzers in favour of Digital Playground when you're all just part of fucking MindGeek aka we fix competitions and ignore fan votes ala Twistys treat of the year and DP Star Search!

What's it like working for the biggest bunch of deceitful cunts in the industry?


Given the prevalence of sexual assault in the military, maybe they *are* being sarcastic...


Oh well, at least the part about brain waves changing is true! When you start to fall asleep, your brain starts to go into sleep mode.

That's wuts happening.

Edit: Downboats for using my name in a funny way? You guys are no fun.


Found the law student.


"If it makes a difference to you, then you're probably will not work living here" FTFY

no reason to say "type of person" it groups people when it is not necessary


Nice try, Weird-Looking Girl In Back.


That gives new meaning to **le** expression "third leg".


That's where you get up and proclaim, "Well, then. This is me separating myself from your ignorance". Then walk out of the room.


So you are telling me you can't get withdrawal symptoms from quitting a drug that isn't chemically addictive... LOL


This is actually the best one to say if really in danger. It's pretty simple for them to figure out you're in some type of danger.

Edit: Now that I think about it, they may just call suicide hotline.


Its a music festival with all kinds of artists and music , and if they both like it who cares they just wanna experience it together.


> Cold's are the worst

*They were made for each other.*


Nothing but whiny liberal hyperbole.


At least one of those olympics HAVE to be in Toronto!


Since when is art/music an actual legitimate way to make a living?  I'm not saying anything against it in theory, but what is the percentage of people that actually make a living off of it compared to the number of people broke as fuck waiting for their break?

My guess? 2-4%.  Choose more wisely next time.


Kidney stones are God's way of balancing the scales for men not having to birth children


Oh look, an SRD poster coming in to a thread that got linked on SRD and complaining that people are coming into this thread from other areas on reddit to support it.


Oscar reacts likes he won an Oscar


You need a sign on your back warning women to never touch you.


*"Your total is give your kids a hug."*

*"My kids died in preventable household accidents."*


Just by pluralising the word you've shown a fundamental misunderstanding of the concept.

EDIT: It was a joke. The way he worded it made it sound like a gathering of loners in solidarity.


HEY EVERYONE! WE GOT A SPIDEROLOGIST OVER HERE!


"my god"

Fucking hypocrite..You post in a r/atheism and say that?!??!?

You fucking atheists are as hypocritical and annoying as theists....

Moron!


Damn this took me so long to get. At first I thought you were correcting grammar or something. Well done.


It wouldn't have mattered anyway; latex gloves are literally worthless. Within a few minutes, the oil from your hands has broken down the latex enough that it might as well not be there. Or so I've heard.


When I was a smoker, I always used the ashtrays.  And I agree, people need to not throw them everywhere.

But I'll never forget the time my college had the bright idea that to curve student smoking outside the dorms they'll, get this, take all the ash trays away.

Guess what, students still smoked outside the dorms, but now there were cigarette butts everywhere.


I saw this on Instagram, and I am solely on mobile for a little bit, so I found it really hard to find the original source.


JEB SAYS "PEW PEW," LASERS CONFIRMED.


Can't do? They are already paying 500 bucks for the 16 gb version if they have enough oney to do that they also can spend 100 more instead of buying an android for way less money with 16 gb and the option to upgrdae the memory


A couple weeks after moving into a new house 6 cops showed up at my door responding to a call about a person in the house that looks like they didn't belong. Turns out it was me. Apparently an ambiguously ethnic brown guy in a newly renovated home is suspicious.


some idiot thinks that because they are in the armed forces its ok to let their kid handle weapons designed solely to kill human beings.

idiot probably isnt strong enough


THIS IS A REFERENCE TO THE LABEL APPLIED TO NERVOUS TISSUE OF THE BRAIN AS WELL AS TO THE RESULTS OF SOMEONE'S HEAD EXPLODING


Literacy rates dont count when its Dr. Seuss books.


http://i.imgur.com/luKvN5m.jpg

I can see that.


We live in a frustrating age my friend.


A lot of people are socially awkward and don't know the time or place to say things. She needs help.


the last airbender movie


The golden arches were broken.


Or that parents like OP's wife are petty


I'm not a big believer in divine intervention but when I was 19 or so I actually made an appointment to get this huge, hideous 1990's tribal tattoo on my lower arm. The day before my appointment, the transmission went out on my car and I had to cancel since I no longer had enough money.


how is this not the most highly voted comment on the entirety of reddit?


if you remove the chocolate or the peanut butter from a reese cup, what do you get?


Ok, I'm a pretty liberal guy... but when your MORE reliable source is the HuffPo, that's pretty scary.

Not clown under your bed scary, mind you, but probably clown in a tree outside of your window scary.


I used my angriest headmate to read this comment.

He was pretty damn angry


You really got your priorities skewed.

Edit: Really? We're talking about people the raised $30,000 for this guy, but they "cockblock" and now are "forever alone duchebags"


reddit users always love a love story. because sometimes, porn isn't enough.


This needed to be dumbed down? I don't get this thread.


Erm... yeah! I totally know that feeling! It's really great, right guys?


I wish the company would sue her.  People should learn to keep their private lives private and not pull in employers every time they have an issue with their ex.


I do the same thing with phone numbers, credit card numbers, vin numbers, addresses, etc.  This ability right there is why I'm able to cruise through college with very little stress.  Being able to look at a piece of paper once or twice and remember it ALL is fucking awesome.


At first I was like "Wow I wish I could award you negative points for such a terrible comeback."

Then I realized I could.

Long live reddit.


**[TRAIN HORN INTENSIFIES]**


You are being downvoted for your comment which is more pointless than the norm.


"What's the square root of 9?"

"...Negative 9?"

"Sterling?"


I dunno I guess I scared off the atheists
Not to offend anyone but still


It also resets you to 1 per 10 minutes if you have negative karma in a subreddit. I found that out the hard way in /r/baseball when I suggested that Baseball needs a salary cap. Do not do that.


I feel kinda bad for giving her shit. It's not like you see white people hating Darius Rucker and Wayne Brady. They love Oreos


They then proceeded to wrestle.


**Single mother of three**. FUCK NO.  You do the sin, you do the burnin'.  Either way, she's an adulterous slut, or she broke her marriage vows.


Yes, but I have a girlfriend and i've grown cynical regarding girls in the club scene so I dont pay them much attention.


your post didn't make me lol. so I downvoted it.


That's ruthless, Nate.


whose to say it's not 3 days later? From the wetness on the bed behind her being on the side edge of the bed this was obviously some 9month trailer trash abortion.


SPANDEX 4 LIFE (cap-locks has the same effect) ;-D


this isnt a repost. This honestly happened yesterday.


Actually, I had heard it was Alexander the great who did this.  And, the leaders applied the chemical to a rag, tied around their wrist.  It became known as Alexander's Rag Time Band.


This is a great idea, I will definitely be doing this come Christmas time. Thank you


walked into you being an ass?


Should we delete all our posts?


Humanity isn't doing something that does absolutely nothing when some bad happens in an attempt to make it seem like you're doing something productive.


I can do the same thing except I can tell by the sound they make when they walk


I'm sorry loveable to who? The people he kicks in the head or the teammates who he punches?

Or is this Costa's fault for not posting funny comments here and there.

Edit: Oh, just seen the kinda like you comment. Yeah sorry, I don't rejoice in asshole behaviour man, one of the things that have gotten to me in my old age, not being enamoured by cunts.


The life choices that would be made in that shower... woah.


Pretty sure this is a repost…

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3r9fam/


Personally i found the juxtaposition kinda fun. Like the hip hop music in Django.


You assume people watch ABC.


And today this would get you expelled and/or arrested.  Doomed, I say.


how dare he not want the most liberal news network moderate.


FUCKING CAME HERE TO SAY THATLOL.


Okay. This is my too much internet. This is my first. I am 33. I am on a computer 14 hours a day.

This is my fucking too fucking much fucking fucking internet.


It seems really fake.


It's not cheap. We are spending 425,000 theoretical dollars on these giveaways.


ERMAHGERD, STERP ERN SMERL DER RERSES


Heh.  No.  I think it's actually a little cheesy that that's the prize on Wait Wait.  I think they should give out a copy of the Encyclopedia Brittanica or something if you win.


*was* doing research with Fayad.


Dude, good call. If you missed that episode, you'd never know what the fuck was going on in subsequent episodes.

Gotta have priorities.


MOMMMMYYYY!!!!! WAT ID DA APETOL SCIENCE HANDHEWD POLTOL DEVICE?????? GOO GOO!!!!


I'm going to have to start using "silly o'clock". Hope you don't mind.


If I'm honest, the only thing I can see that he's guilty of is not telling his wife he's going out.


hey now, cocaine habit means you have a rich husband, right?


who would downvote this comment? srsly?


I'm not leaving my country yet. I'm a Copt and this is my land just as much as it is theirs. I refuse to leave until I am absolutely forced to.

TBF , this stuff happened in Libya not Egypt. We don't have beheadings here just yet.


I just want to make sure where and when the paradigm of FREE SPEECH applies is all, liberals can't seem to nail that down??


Even if you stand strong and "brush it off" it still hurts and it still eats away at you, even if you never show it.

This shit needs to end.


DON'T YOU MEAN WAFFLES???


No, it's like "These people with lots of money paid of lots of money to help them make lots more money. We'd better help them."


Players who don't think do. Evans is a conniving player anyway, if disliked Cisse he'd just take digs at him the rest of the game. Not fuck about spitting very near to someone.


Cheating....winning...same thing!


Obviously it's not a repost to enough people.

EDIT: Excuse me for not being on Reddit so much I know everything that's posted, I'll have less of a life from now on, downvoters.


QUALITY LOSSES. SUCK IT SEC.


Yeah FF's are broken, such a retarded mechanic.


I tried that but it always ended up sounding like Lil' Jon.


thang you just witnessed


You are so incredibly right. I know one that's spelled Krystle. WTF.


I know. I made a mistake.


The US government cant make money off Megaupload like they do banks and oil companies.


I can't afford a Bugatti.  Guess I should fucking steal one.


Honestly, that is a *genius* way to get out of a boring date.


Judging from your username, you are either a sniper or a gamer.  Given that you are taking umbrage at my comments about a pic of a celebrity, I am guessing the latter, for real killer would not be so shallow as to try to find meaning only in popular culture icons.


This is the way Americans are taught to do it.


Only kinda? You're being generous.


"AHEBUKEE, OOMEE!  AHEBUKEE!!"

(I love you, mom!  I love you!)


I think this is a pretty good observation, you are super dumb.


you know what I did that worked really well?

I moved out of my mother's house.


Reddit prefers 'SO's

Edit: man you guys really hate reddit.


He did it because you used the wrong principal!


You sound in denial

Edit: troll is a success. I don't know anything about football.


Good luck getting through my chastity belt or your cause of death will be broken teeth.


It has style, sure. Except, of course, he is wrong. Women aren't more intelligent on average, and are perfectly capable of serving in the field.


Ok, I just showed this to the room and we laughed for about 5 minutes. AWESOME. -bf @tweetsoutloud


i dont think my care agent would allow me to post pictures of myself


I am sincerely having trouble not doing so.


If you need to vent it out go to /r/GallowBoob and have *fun*.


A comma could have made this take an entirely different route.


I live in tennessee and saying the word Atheist is enough to make somebody cry. Also, there are bibles in schools, hotels, and doctors offices. Just in case you didn't get enough religion passing a church every 5 minutes.


My cat disappeared 4 months ago, and if someone called me saying they had him, I would drive 500 miles in a heartbeat.


Go ahead, call bullshit, see if I care.

http://i.imgur.com/7u50N.gif


A simple yes or no would have sufficed but thank you


Uhhh... I think you mean game of thrones (you nerd).


EXCUSE ME LADIES AND GENTLEMAN I AM SELLING CANDY AND SNACKS. I AM NOT GOING TO PRETEND IT IS FOR MY BASKETBALL I AM JUST TRYING TO MAKE A LITTLE EXTRA MONEY. I COULD BE OUT ON THE STREET USING DRUGS AND STEALING BUT I WANT TO MAKE HONEST MONEY. IF YOU WOULD LIKE A SNACK THEY ARE ONLY ONE DOLLAR.


Exactly. And that's where the focus needs to be—getting answers on making this convoluted system work instead of spreading bad information about people having to delete all their videos to get money from Nintendo videos.


To.be fair you were staring at his dick.


Or or or or, just, you know, adjustments. Techy is your opinion :))


Go for the chocolate cheese, stay because you your car won't start in -40 degree temps.


It's not that they're missing calls.  It's that there is a separate set of rules for the Giants and Cowboys and the Lions and Dolphins.


It has nothing to do with technology. The Laws of Movies dictate that bad guys have no aim.


ERMAHGERD, NERD FER SPERD ERNDERGDRND TER, SERNGERLER LERGER


What kid, in high school, gets out of their seat and runs down the hall screaming anything?


I slept with a girl like this before and woke up covered in rashes


The 2 commandments

1. Be attractive
2. Don't be unattractive


I don't know the difference and I am out of school and happy. And I don't see the big deal with have and of? It isn't as if the meaning is lost. Grammar can be important but not always. Just cus me talked in differently then you aint make I not no dummy.


I can see Batman taking the time to watch every movie where the protagonist loses their parents.


Even as we beat arsenal 2(what should have been 4-2)-0 he was fucking frightening whenever he had the ball. I guess the question is will he go to city or united?

Edit: Jesus Christ since when was banter downvoted on a football subreddit.


True. Keep in mind that we take precautions against robbery and other potential crimes by locking the doors to our house, allowing orders of protection from people who threaten us, etc. We want to let kids have some independence, but if we know a neighbor is a sex offender we can try to take precautions against that person specifically as opposed to just strangers.


Wow, is this still supposedly funny? Holy shit this "meme" is older than over 9000 or whatever.


I really, really think Jim Carrey is probably going to off himself.


Or to separate the Darius players from the good Darius players.

BECAUSE HE'S A FKING NOOBCHAMP (HATE)(HATE)


The thought of that makes me want to go home and coddle my penis and tell it that everything will be okay and that I will never let that happen to it.


Roma's President and partial owner, Thomas DiBenedetto, is an American. That's likely the main reason they signed him.


Possibly the worst analogy I've heard in my entire life


Is that all you can say? Really? Okay dude, be sassy, be u.


For science.

Well, also for karma. I would upvote that shit so hard.


I guess now all those cultural preservationalists can shut the fuck up. these people clearly hate living like monkeys and wish they were colonized long ago so they couldve ended up modernized like the rest of the world.


And nobody did anything about it


If you weren't fat and ugly, it wouldn't be a problem!

Faggot.


I dont really know why they did - I think just to scare me - It worked!! What was anoying was that they did not belive that I worked in IT, they tried to make out I was some sort of Intelligence Officer at on point


His strategy seems to be "rip other candidates" (like in all of his ads, though the Huntsman one backfired).

He doesn't want to discuss his policies, because he knows that he looks backward and ridiculous. He just wants to be the last man standing in the series of "anyone but romney" candidates.


Don't knock it til you try it.


Until Carr goes down with season ending rotator cuff surgery. Then what would Al Davis do?


I like it better without the T.

Massa


We have standards on Reddit, that's what makes it different from youtube comments. If you don't appreciate Zach's humor you're probably a dullard and should migrate to Digg, no matter how long you've been here.


and wheres the mouse?


I don't have speakers at the moment, but seeing as it's an American video. I'm guessing it's children screaming in the background + oh mah gawwd, oh mah gawwd over and over again.


As someone who isn't a vet, isn't disabled and isn't that fat - I bawled like a child - ....


then we can also ask IW to remove it, so dont complain


That really is about the shittiest thing a therapist could do.


Maybe I could just a buy a product that provides the service I need.


Theres a difference between having no idea and incorrectly knowing something is coyote.


Well that's good. It would have been rude to have it on his dining room floor.


I'm intolerant to lactose…


Seriously, dude?  That's...fucking appalling to joke about.  It really is.

/rape survivor


They made a book out of it?


shut up.. its not about you anymore...


Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.


She had three drinks.  She got busted because she refused the breathalizer.  Now, it's just losers with no reading comprehension skills and/or no real-life experience jumping at the chance to pass judgment on a stranger.  Bravo, you've accomplished nothing.


I tought I taw a putty fap


Why would anyone *choose* to be a lawyer? The only reason people become lawyers, is because people don't trust them to do any other job. Fucking lawyers, your reputation as venomous sharks is well deserved. You fucking prick.


If it was Jimmy Carr laughing, you don't even need to pay me.


Oh man. Didn't see it! Re post I guess. But who cares.


As the only one in the thread who isn't a pedophile this guy is more and more badass


In b4 some fag tries to justify it with the amount of played time / cost

edit - Instead they downvote. People in this subreddit need to get over themselves


My dog looked at me, then ran into another room the exact opposite way of my finger.

I think she's broken.


this is a very valid point, and if the community wants it fine. I guess im just the other end where i feel it sucks for the other competitors.


I imagine a manic Gilbert Gottfried.


Yeah, you're pretty dumb tho


> boning room

Giggity


Some people are inferior. If their level of intellect is that low, they deserve it.


>Show up with a talwar (massive samurai sword) and a handle of rye/whiskey.

I miss college parties.


Jesus Christ guys, get back to 4chan already. The whole op is a faggot shit is old.


J - I rode the Bat pod for Catwoman :)


So you're saying the child isn't wrong because he's a child? But I'm wrong because it is admittedly wrong but he's a child?

I've never seen such a violently negative reaction to a correct opinion. There's more downvotes for me than comments.


Maybe he was buying time to answer difficult questions. This guy sounds like a hoot.


... that doesnt make any sense.


I was THE VERY FIRST PERSON TO AUDITION FOR THE AMERICAN OFFICE. I did a terrible ricky gervais immitation for the part of Michael but nailed "Dwight".  I knew the part would be mine.  I just knew exactly how he needed to be!  It was an instinct thing.


FAAAAAAAGGGGOOOOOOOTTTTTSSSSS!!!!


Because unless it's open source, we have no way of making sure the encryption does what he claims. This is a perfect recipe for backdoors.

If encryption is closed-source, it can't possibly be trusted.


Or PMSing.  This is very much in the PMS cognitive solution space.


The heaviest member of the weasel family, the sea otter is also the second smallest marine mammal.


It isn't: I can stay well away from stoners in real life; here they're everywhere, and I ***hate*** stoners.


I used to say meh-meh. In hindsight, I realize that if we all went around saying meh-meh, it would be adorable.

But alas. Meem.


majored in booty math with a minor in economics, huh?


> but habitual drug use is a huge red flag

So you don't eat sugar, drink coffee, drink any sugared beverages, smoke/vap tobacco, or drink alcohol? Good for you.

>god I hate hearing people talk about weed.

Yea most people are pretty damn annoying about it.


If he couldn't know of the fashion trends, then how could he know of the celebrities?


I like teddy bears.

Concerning Palestinians, they're really adorable ladybugs.  Fin.


>Retarded Batman: World's *Special* Detective

FTFY


yey, lets make fun of people new to the game; that will teach them and make us more popular! fuckn elitists...


If God wanted us to use the Metric System there would have been ten disciples.


I'm the guy who takes it too far and gets downvoted.


I hope that the girl turns out ok with a mother like that.


Whose problem is that?

People are AS free to join [/r/atheism](/r/atheism) as they are to join /r/christianity.

if they have a small subreddit and are having "quality control" issues, they need to make it PRIVATE or RESTRICTED ACCESS.

Having a public community and complaining about PUBLIC access is utterly stupid.


No one said rekt back then. Looks like a more pleasant place.


then you're not an atheist


Yeah, what Slappy said.


Ok it's yours just fucking take it dude.


There's spoiler tags for a reason.


I, too, have tasted DrakeHaHa's semen.


Can we see those puppies :D


Well, dick goes in the hole. That's just basic math.


Nobody wants to actually take away birth control, it's just I don't want to pay for someone else's birth control.


But obviously pop culture icons like Bart Simpson being voiced by women are a sign of female empowerment. /s


Upvote for user name!!!


i can't wait to try to kill you at the reddit meet up


I hope that's the only thing they got wrong...


I wish everyone would just focus on the real solution, which is stopping unwanted pregnancies in the first place. Why wait until a pregnancy? Let's collectively decide to focus on avoiding the problem before it happens?


> I am aware of that, as well as a few other things, but It still seems very mediocre to me.

Then I'm afraid you might be retarded, or you're just faking all of this.

A one drop with the stats of a two drop is just as powerful in magic the gathering as it is in hearthstone. I guess you didn't say you were a GOOD mtg player, but still.


You just summed up the life of many redditors.


I used to ride the karma trains, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


It's like "Memento", if the main character just wanted to remember the puns he made up each day.


It's no theory. http://skepticlawyer.com.au/files/2014/03/nato_expansion.png

Edit: For the record this is a picture not some random theory site.


I did the same thing for a while with my first serious girlfriend until my friend spilled the beans. It was mostly to avoid the "omg you have a gf! Tell me all about her! I promise I'll only ask 500 questions, most of which you won't even know the answers to!" reaction from my parents. Then when they found out this exact thing happened.


I cringed while making it; I knew it was bad form. But I think that, once you realize reddit's your plaything and not your social 'report card,' you're liberated to act ridiculous for the hell of it.


I don't know... Seems a little fishy


And your team is? Sorry but your position 5 carrying is a joke. You tilt so hard.


"Look at the bright side, at least the war will end either way"


I hate how the terrible answer is the first one. I don't know what I'd do if I had to put up with 4 more years of his bullshit only to have him up for re-election *again*.


Maybe. Given California's overcrowded system these little psychos could be out in ten to fifteen or even less.


there's no such thing as an accidental litter.


Sorry, dude. My dog is racist and our neighborhood is of a darker persuasion.


The victims were female. When they're male, the teacher gets a year probation.


But I find it does spice up the sex.


i guess asking age is the wrong thing, i should of specified country. americans will laugh at anything


"The President was engaged in a thrilling discussion with a user called POTATO_IN_MY_ANUS"


Jumping fucking Jesus!
332211, What the fuck are you doing?

Ahhhh, it appears our little source of information ( http://www.sloopo.com ) is under attack!

Why are these people so upset over a few dudes submitting pertinant information? Amazing.


no she is stupid and should be fired immediately


This is also what Reddit is about.


you must not listen very well then


Dog tries to communicate that she has a replicator device. Human still has not understood message.


Please no more sanctions.


Getting McDonalds as a child is a victory, as an adult it's a defeat.


Lol, you mean a poem.


I learned that from Wayne's World.


he said she should "grow some ovaries" which is a play on words for "grow some balls" and you turned it into "blah blah irrational women PMS hormones blah blah."


There's a major difference in intent to kill if the gun is working and loaded versus non-working and unloaded. He's trying to establish that he "never meant to hurt nobody" so when he tells it to the judge, it will carry slightly more weight.

This is not my opinion, it is simply one of the ways in which the Judge weighs what sentence s/he passes down.


Yeah. Good one. You sound salty. Did one steal your girl? Or give you a swirly?


hahahah I use my size and fighting skill to intimidate you for fun hahahahahah

^^no ^^bully ^^^hahahahah


It's ironic of Dan savage as well. He runs this anti bullying campaign, then he goes and name calls people for being religious. I don't care for your downvotes either. This is my freedom to speak.


In the future there won't be a "phone" that you have to hold.


damn it you beat me to it


You could have stopped at: "I purchased a house for $11,000..."


Sorry, but to take advantage of two obviously troubled 15 year old girls by photographing them exposing themselves IS child porn.  He deserves all the trouble he gets into.  Bravo to the cops.


Daddy why dose it say "YOLO" on my lower back?


why is that so funny?


Dang...I am so stupid for doing that.


Because it does take a long time to digest and having a build up of rubber in your stomach is not good.


There is a small hole at the tip of the nozzle, it's connected to a pump that pulls air from said hole out of your gas tank.  Once this becomes fluid instead of air the pump stops.  This is also why depending on the angle you place the nozzle in it sometimes kicks off every few seconds.


Because you are terrible concern troll.


Why? Headless boobs.  Actually for science, this time.

I don't see what the big deal is.


That's your opinion, not fact. Are you able to read the players mind to judge his intend? Granted, it could be a dive, it could be a slip /loss of balance and he thought he was touched, it could be a loss of balance caused by the slight pull on the arm by the defender just before he fell.


Life is filled with fascinating people who can tell you things that change your life, it doesn't matter about someone's name.


I was going to post that one. :)


Soccer mom version of "Aw, hell no! Hold mah purse!"


Perhaps you've learned to keep your moronic 'insights' to yourself in the future.


But the guy turning left has to also stop or yield.  I would think the person going right is not crossing traffic, so easier to accomplish.  They should turn first.


Pfft more like the giants


***lol same as me XD upBOATed!***


I'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive.


Car is old and shitty.


On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog. Except with comments like this.


/r/polandball is just another circlejerk sub for smug Europeans. They take themselves so seriously that you can't even link to the sub without someone getting butthurt and trying to ban you (because they are such a high quality sub they don't want the attention from the unwashed masses).


Yes, but the person would be better off just drinking the rain and dew directly in most situations


I'm not saying he won a prize, I'm saying if it were oh so simple, would this be in the headlines? You would most certainly have a nobel prize

There seems to be quite a few people trying to discredit what he's done, yet these same people couldn't even pass basic algebra or biology in a community college.


like a possessed clown hooker


lolz i know what he meants so lets get some free karma lolz


It wouldn't be a day on reddit without someone reminding us of it


Smash 4 - Competitive...

Anyway this is about online anyway


You're some sort of revolutionist.


So it's okay for her to throw her naked picture on the internet but it's not okay for people to point that this is a slut thing?
Boy I love  the ~~internet~~ reddit logic.


I don't know you or her, but I don't think she'd want you to live that way.

> I have to stay alive. Mostly for others.

You could stay alive solely for her. To experience things *for* her.

I'm really sorry for your loss.


I keep upgrading my computer and I still spend a fuckton of time finding a setting other than "slideshow". It's not easy. It's why I don't play many PC games as they come out.


Ours turned to French and we don't understand it to fix it... :(


Only if you're drinking fairly pure water. I don't assume beer would kill you. Might hurt your bladder, though.


Batman. He doesn't have to do paperwork after catching the bad guy.


Ah, the old Reddit joke. (Really, really old.)

EDIT: I'll take the downvotes with my head held high. It's kind of ridiculous how people will find the same joke amusing after it's been told 3,000 times in the exact same way.


Godspeed captionbot.  I hope the paramedics were able to treat the stroke quickly enough to avoid permanent damage.


No, pretty sure that's a grape.


Beaking News: NASA found life in Europe.


Yeah, but unfortunately the color makes them all look like niggers


You take your logic and get out of here.


Edit: The stuff below was not necessary; I apologize.

Edit 2: Goddamn it, the downvotes! I was drunk, fuckaroos! I won't delete this like ol' WAP would, though.

~~TAKE ABREAK NOW BUCKAROO, BCAUES YOU SUCK. BALLS~~


"stay calm" after getting a shot of adrenaline.  Yeah, good luck with that...


yeah, if your career path is "serial killer"

wow, you people have zero sense of humor. for the....less discerning among you, I do not actually think that deriving enjoyment from playing with dead things is a path that many serial killers take.

wait...


"Actually quite a bright girl"... That's guy talk for "she still had a nice rack". DON'T EVEN TRY TO PLAY MIKEGAZ


It's beautiful in it's own dirty way.

Edit: perfect timing for a grammar mistake.


Wait wait wait, they are making women pay for this too? Are they retarded? Do they not realize that it's vital to have as many women possible on their app to attract the males? Are they fucking retarded?

Why do they think girls get into nightclubs so free and easily compared to guys?


Nigga's got more abs than my clip's got shells.


Especially Piano. Actually, just piano would be fine for me.


lol that's some retawded shit


He didn't have the balls to break up with her, so he invited his new girl to do it for him.


Yeah but pubes are still gross.


Do not get ballsy! I repeat, do not get ballsy!! Operation Don't Fuck Up never concludes.


it's my personal decision to ask u to suck my dick you circular reasoning bottomfeeder


Here's a good question, what other friends do you have whose parents are famous like yours?


When this guy stops spreading false information.


>the xbox

Yep, dad status checks out.


YOU'RE SUPER-COOL AND I FUCKING LOVE YOUR STREAM <3


I have 2 kids, I wish I'd gone with tape.


I used to live in South Korea and there was a soda that had something that loosely translated to "quenchiest" as its slogan, although it tasted like ass, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


My stepmother does this to my siblings. They can't walk to school, ride the bus, go to friends houses, or go to their swimming class (daily, at school) without her. They're not even allowed to be alone with my dad, *their own father*, without her. Meanwhile, I could count the number of times my mom accompanied me to a friend's house or the bus stop on one hand.


And I don't think he's driving, I think he's in the back seat, judging by him being near the back window. Unless he's on a pickup truck. I guess we'll never know.

Edit: Morbosity that made you click the [+] and check out the ever so hated comment. Downvote on.


Science and logic are the devil's language! BURN THE WITCH


Shut the fuck up, you neckbeard.


Why does everyone want to see his tits?


At first I wanted to upvote just for your comment, but then I read your name.


Why buy the cow when you can milk yourself for free!


As a druid... druids are fine l2p.

jk resto is pretty OP and feral is great for 1v1/1v2/1v3 but no one really wants ferals for arena or rbg so my climb to 2k is way slower than resto druids of comparable gear and skill.

And boomkins, well.. we don't really talk about those. All they're  good for is rbgs to be a tab dot bot.

Edit: lots of butthurt moonkins ITT


I'm not sure why, but I do want you to go on.


I'll be feeding of United fans tears for years to come!


Well, as they say... silence is golden.


Meh, I broke even four comments later... so nbd.


He certainly is curious.


I made the top comment and he responded to me, why shouldn't I respond with anything else I had to say?

Should I have made a new top comment?


How do you know he isn't one?!!?!


How is your mother being in jail any better? You act as if we have some kind of harm-reduction system when in reality all we have is a criminal system. You're mother is now a criminal thanks to you...


Move along fellas, nothing to see here.

 Just another strong, independent black woman who *clearly* don't need no man.


>Self entitled shitlords

Please don't use that terminology. This isn't SRS. Thank you.


HEY GUYS LOOK AT MR FANCY CAMPING WITH HIS HOUSE


Idk... an Asian might be able to squeeze it in her belly button


It's the little pinch of our secret ingredient, cocaine.


You should've joined in! Party in the house, woop woop.

Edit: This has become one of my most downvoted comments, I am very proud.


The man was actually fired as sergeant while undergoing investigation.

Actually i'm just shitting you, nothing happened to him.


Yep! Sure is. And you wouldn't want to hang around for that, would you? Nope! that would be stupid. So it makes more sense to head on over to /r/firearms and have your own subreddit where douchebags like me aren't around.


Did we mention Amanda is a pathological liar?


>Wow so old but yet so old.


Op did you use sealer?


Sorry, I forgot we live in a modern utopia now.

Even if this is Dark Ages behavior, it's something to be noticed and sneered at, because it still permeates all our culture.


I recently got Snapchat, and so far nobody's actually sent me selfies. Its been either blank, random objects, or their computer screen. Is this normal?


yeah, we're so totally hateful towards


For some people by less people?


Or um... the south. Klan rallies can't be a safe place for a brother of color.


"Fuck it, it's done."


Hipsters linuxbman and Bonediddly, ladies and gentlemen! You probably won't get it.

DA DUM TSHHHHH


My Neopet is old enough to be a freshman in highs school.


MOMMY WHO ID MOWWY WINGWOLD???? WHAT ID DA BWEKFAST KWUB???? [GOO GOO](http://www.reddit.com/r/PIBTBrand)!!!!!!!


This is actually really adorable. One can't help but empathize with your young self, trying so hard to fit in, and just...making all the wrong choices. Your heart was in the right place, and was apparently three sizes too big for you! You've told a heart-warming story, and I think you're amazing!


What the hell does your banal Breaking Bad reference have to do with what he said?


doubt it. This is definitely a peeping tom scouting for waterpolo boobs.


People make mistakes, you don't need to litigate to compensate for those mistakes. That person should be held responsible, but suing just seems so shallow!


Another case was when my parents bought my adopted brother a better car than me.


Seriously, this is some awful grade school animation. If it took two of them to do this then at least one of them must be mentally retarded.


If you did this, make sure to reference Shitty_Watercolour as that would be plagiarism if you didn't.


Good job, bundle of sticks!

I hate how the karma thing works. I have 3773 link karma, but about 13400 comment karma. Only the link karma seems to show, making my comments useless.


Fall asleep in the squat-rack then wake up naked sporting an erection and pissing wildly.

Muscle confusion bro.


Stephen Fry is the worst. He makes Adam Sandler look hilarious.


Those are called bitches. I've seen guys like him with much better looking girls. That was my point.


It's not your speakers.


"im going 2 fuck u in le 4$$ 2nite :^)"

typical tryndamere reply to ashe


>2000

YOU FUCKING WHAT

>Yen

Oh thank Christ.

Obligatory holy shit my highest comment is this edit.

853 karma for this stupid fucking comment? Fuck you all.


The fuck are you talking about? Guy, go back to pushing around new players at your local MTG nights, it doesn't work here.


Server interaction level: [Moss](http://i.imgur.com/oja4b.jpg)


Wow so edgy and totally original....


You fapped to that??  Dude...


what do you think moron? i am vegan. did you not read that before you let your infantile pun loose on the internet?


A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

His wife's washing was hanging out to dry and he wasn't looking where he was going. The man's dyslexia was admittedly pretty irrelevant to the event.

From https://www.reddit.com/r/AntiJokes/comments/1lzkuu/a_dyslexic_man_walked_into_a_bra/


Yeah, your hatred is well placed


1. My head is directly under the shower so I'm holding my breath.
2. Concentrating on holding her up in the right position.
3. Forget to breath.
4. Begin to faint
5. ???
6. It wasn't a success.


yes, 6 small meals a day is better for metabolism than 3 regular meals. look it up.


It wasn't *just* common sense. It was common sense backed by personal experience and a reputation that is politically challenging to assail wearing a suit and speaking with an obviously informed cadence. That's much more valuable than common sense alone.


Sorry i was about to edit that out.

However [you might be interested in knowing it really is her](http://www.reddit.com/r/TheoryOfReddit/comments/1252oa/how_can_one_reconcile_the_no_doxxing_rule_of/c6semju) since some of your people didn't believe it in the face of looking at her posting history. Your people are kind of clueless.


Well I do have an i5 4690k @4.4GHz with 2 way SLI ASUS  GTX  770s 2GB. It makes the ladies swoon


Except that all of this is made-up bullshit and what his girlfriend *really* was was a compulsive liar and what *he* really was was enough of an idiot to go along with it. Durrrrr.


kind of like what you see when a woman and her female friends bring their male SOs together, expecting them to hang out and pretend like they aren't grown ass men set up on a play-date.


Women have always been and always will be children. On their best day, they are the oldest teenager in the room.


science not responsible for penis drool


upvoted you

downvoted him

-pats your back-


Two weeks from now. "What's the weirdest thing to happen to you in school?"

"There I was, taking a shit..."


**FUCK APPlE**  LMAO AT ALL YOU LAME HIPSTERS THAT BOUGHT LAME CRAPPLE SHAT.  APPFAIL IS GIVING AWAY FREE APPSHIT JUST SO YOU FA^S KEEP FALLING FOR THEIR SHINY EXPENSIVE FAIL FONES.

ANDROID IS COMING UP ON YOUR REAR BOIS.  GET READY TO PUCKER....


OP lives in a van down by the river.


Yes I have seen his skateboarding, he's actually pretty good. That's coming from someone that's actually been skating for years. Don't hate on lil wayne, he was one of the hot boyz, that's just disrespectful, you dont even know wassup.

p.s. YOU NEED A HOT GIRL!


They were all white guys though unless it was a honky splinter cell of MS-13.


Let me guess you want some links eh? oh yeah give me them slaps i like it!


Says the guy who defected to the USSR in 1959...


it seriously tarnished my opinion of Scarlett Johansson.


And then calculated the areas of said circles.


It means you're an American cunt who doesn't understand what I'm saying, fucking twat.


Can't it just be a vote *for* boobs?

You shouldn't vote for something just to spite the other.


i just sent him a nice little fuck you


It's spelled 'oriental'.


Compare it to a standup comedia making the same joke over and over again. You might still chuckle after the 10th time, but you wish they'd final do something new instead of overusing that one popular joke.

EDIT: At one point, every meme overstay its welcome.


I imagine him screaming fucking FBI instead of LAG on servers.


Winner, winner, chicken dinner!


>I can give you a piggy back ride into your candle lit apple and cinnamon scented room and not understand what the fuck happened until 3 months later.

Spot on.


/r/lesecretsubreddit

http://i.imgur.com/GoEPkF3.jpg


> He's laughing hysterically and says he's done this 2 other times

Um, this isn't so much a red flag as it is a huge neon billboard saying

**GET THE FUCK OUT NOW ARE YOU WAITING FOR MORE OF AN INVITATION??**


Whether its intentional or not is irrelevant because he is passing forward to the goal keeper.


You believe? What, you don't remember? Here, smell this.


Awesome yes, BUT NOT CONTAGIOUS FOR FUCKING DRAGONS.  Jesus god you people are dumber than George Goddamn Bush Junior during his first term!  THEY'RE A CURSE ON THE RACES OF HUMANITY -BLACK SOULS-


Microwaved socks: 3/10
Microwaved socks with rice: 5/10


I did nazi that coming


For how much though? There isn't a market for weak babies!


I get that they were arrogant dicks but is getting the police/state involved really the best response? You could have ruined all of their lives and at the least the driver would be doing time for possession and DUI if your "tip" was moved on by the police. Imo getting police involved is vindictive.


Please use this novelty account well.


Wow, you sound like one of those people who try to "fix" gay people of their sexuality.

Do you think it is something you can just talk away?


My father's son once read his wikipedia entry.


I, don't understand, why people, use commas inappropriately.


I slipped and my luggage flung open, people applauded me too.

feelsgoodman.jpg


All I can do friend is show you a picture of what model the gun is. http://picturearchive.gunauction.com/8301012044/8441523/e37d571a24c08cd572383aa6e9da8987.jpg

My gun has been refurbished so it can fire.


You shower with your colleagues?


wow u know the scrim habits of every korean team! incredible!

Do u own kespa?


with Scooby snacks, *ZOINKS*


We enforce the law, we are the law.


Aaaand i'm having an anxiety attack


Don't take the vaccine:

http://www.silverbearcafe.com/private/04.09/swineflu.html

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2199764/posts

you've been warned


That typo is awesome. Don't change it.

Actually, I'll just quote it so it will live on forever.

"If I remember correctly, the chance of an hiv positive woman giving bitches to an hiv positive child without drugs is only something like 1/4."
- twistedfork June 11, 2012


Does it though? Anyway setting aside my poor choice in title, can't we just all marvel at how something as seemingly simple as water can do such a complex little dance.


Are you both attractive? Because that's hot and turns all of us on (even the ones that won't admit it). If you're ugly then nevermind.


This is really your home? Take a pic of urself beside the mustang.


I love how you went to the effort to reupload it so it wouldn't be caught by RES.


I don't remember that being a rule, however still a very good point


I think that actually started on social media that's why

Edit: holy fuck, yes I know reddit is social media, you know what the fuck I mean


I have to disagree. As spectator I think perfect would be to have all maps as balanced as possible. It would be so intense to watch every round of every match, when both sides have equal chance to win.

As a player, map that gives advantage to other team by visibility feels so unfair.


I kept trying to drink milk (I'm lactose intolerant) for this very reason  =(

grew up to be a towering 5'2.  yipeeeee


Not a child, teenager. That's a difference.


It might help to stop teaching girls that they're a whore if they ever have sex and to stop teaching boys that they're a loser if they don't have sex.


That's the answer. Retaliation with violence....  /end sarcasm


I figure the first minute or two are with OP.  The rest is Wife on her vibrating pogo stick.


I seriously doubt BB King was opening for SRV.  You sure it wasn't a shared bill or a festival scenario?


Someone should make it about a guy named Ryan.


In the latter years they were the most average champions i've ever seen. Limping over the finish line with 1-0 last min away wins. So yes, underserving.


>Women are allowed to have sex with whoever they want

Except children.


Our thinking was ostensibly that anyone who valued fashion that much needed to be reminded of the transience of material things. We were douchily high minded about it, being in high-school and all.

When they started busing in "gangstas" to our little school they immediately responded with violence. Eventually they got tired of getting their asses kicked and started bringing weapons.


The first sentence wasn't actually plagiarized, it was just pure chance that someone else had written the same thing.


http://i.imgur.com/WjQqf.jpg

Maybe NSFW


I now have an irrational fear of my aorta detaching from my heart, thank you.


"Who are you? You are nobody. Don't be an egotistical dick, and don't tell others what to do." Or don't. Whatever's fine with me.


As a woman, this would probably be the best thing to ever happen.


I have no clue why you're being downvoted.  That's BS.


I fucking **live** for those moments.


They're the ones insisting that every other college man has raped at least 5 women. I don't see physicists doing that.


As an Aussie I've been doing this forever. We regularly wear thongs and it's much easier to just kick them off and drive barefoot than to fuck around driving in thongs.


hahahaha!!! (3rd times a charm!)


I notice you don't mention owning a cat. Where the hell do these things come from?


Wowwwwww, lollll. Direct hate on Kim AND CoD, didn't know he's allowed to do that, but I like it.


I introduce my wife as "my first wife".


Do you honestly think that needed a spoilertag?


Cunt - Cunt + Cunt = Cunt

Cunt + Cunt + Cunt = Cunt.

Yupp. Works.


"Le me having le sexy times with le boyfriend :3"


Calm down. What's yours (?)


Its pretty lousy. Despicable is when you convince a few orphans to sell robot cookies to your arch nemesis so you can steal a shrink ray


I used to ride the karma trains, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


If you love Felicia so much, why don't you just marry her?  OH THAT'S RIGHT YOU KILLED HER YOU HEARTLESS grumblegrumble


Oh he knows. Don't get me wrong, you guys are the best, making me laugh all night. In my experience though, fat guys don't bother with the drama. They know they exist and don't give a fuck. Maybe I should have weirded that better. Focus was on the drama aspect


As someone who knows the source of the gif, I find this comment highly amusing.


>This is the same like cheating,

No it's not. They are still getting the items legitimately, just EZ mode. There's still the threat of zombies and glitches. Obv. I don't advocate locking the server, but this isn't much different from going on a server with like 2 players and heading to Stary or something.


I'm Catholic and I always used the kneeler as a footrest.


Some people have better things to do than watch porn.

There are *actual* people that have *actual* girlfriends out there, dear redditors..

Not that youd know what Im talking about though, of course... ;D

Redditors need to get. a. life.


I assumed that grammatical parallelism is a dying art. Not to mention use of the word "respectively."

Or maybe she is the taller one. It can happen.


If that's the best you can post in "nicest thing you ever did for someone" thread you come off as a shitty person. And also you jumped straight to the conclusion that she did nothing to instigate him doing that and he's "emotionally abusive" when you don't even know them or the situation.  That's why the downvotes.


That story disappointed me.


that gave me a good laugh.


Justice like that doesn't happen as often as it should.


Pretty sure your bf had plenty of sour cream to give you lol. But why didn't you finish it?


ONE TIME THERE WAS THIS GUY AND HE WAS MARRIED TO A WOMAN NAMED LORRAINE AND HE WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH A WOMAN NAMED CLEARLY AND HE WAS LIKE "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO I REALLY LIKE CLEARLY BUT I'M MARRIED TO LORRAINE" AND THEN ONE DAY LORRAINE DIED SHE GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT OR SOMETHING AND HE WAS LIKE, "I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW LORRAINE IS GONE".


I'm going to hold you to that.


Yeah, it's me. It's Dillon. And I've always wanted to say that I love you. Not just in a bromantic way... I want to gay marry you. Please call me now and tell me how you feel.


How do you get to the position f police commissioner if you can't soldier through three deaths under your command?


I'd be sad too if I couldn't ride the subway without people secretly filming me like some zoo animal.


Its complicated... And not related to this post.


gf likes to blow me when I'm talking on the phone with family just to see how difficult it is for me to maintain my composure


Probably just because it knows its a shitty excuse for a Tribes game...


Last 20 minutes of return of the king.


Or maybe true feminism isn't a score card between genders, but the idea of equality. If there were some satire that I felt targeted women, I'd be freaking furious. Is it wrong for me to reject this poster because of its gender bias? The bullcrap people are saying in defense this poster would be fodder for this subreddit were the pronouns and gender identifiers switched. It's still not ok!


whatever the opposite of that is... that's what he did.


Looks like your cat ate fecal matter. May be dead within the next hour. Put it out of its misery OP, go for the jugular.


That's probably true.

Whatever.


the wtf is that a redditor is in an honors dorm...


The fat guy made that annoying song awesome.


How are you even his mod... damn you suk shit bre


But see, this is a very reasonable and responsible and loving reaction to the situation. This isn't "Hey...so..I wanna go fuck this other girl, so I'm breaking up with you so it's not cheating. Once I'm bored with her I'll be riiiight back." Which is what is implied in OPs story.


AKA you want to antagonize [/r/lgbt](/r/lgbt) because of their moderation policy. Why do you need to advertise your subreddit in [/r/lgbt](/r/lgbt) in particular? You have everywhere else on reddit.


Cancers: the only crabs you want in your pants.

*hugs*


You don't work enough hours to qualify for benefits in many cases. If it's part time you might not make enough money to cover your expenses.


CoD player. He's brainless human filth.


it would be interesting if someone went back and told everyone incarcerated. wonder how many others he did this to.


That's called playing on tilt, I believe. Unsure why you are being downvoted for informing people. Oh right, it's reddit. You didn't say anything racist or anti-cop (or pro-cop if it was black guy killed) so you get downvoted. Makes sense.


That's closer to a dodged bullet than even Neo ever got.


Came here to say this


"Like, omg Shirley, I'll have to call you back. Some dumbass tried to cross the road at a pedestrian crossing. I can't stop for you, like, I'm late for my facelift".


It IS our fault that KoF isn't there. That's a big reason for all the hate Sm4sh is getting. It doesn't deserve to be there.


>So basically I'm imagining a bunch of random arguing idiots, like a town meeting in Pawnee.. only it's all real, and probably less funny. Is that close?

[There is a Pawnee, Oklahoma](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pawnee,_Oklahoma)


Jealousy is a female trait.


The way I see it, I'd rather be alive with both legs gone, than have both legs intact and be a whole corpse.  :)


I interpreted as warning that obsessive masturbation can get in the way of a healthy social life... Which is true.

Take a look at half of reddit if you need proof.


I would be okay with putting the 6 cases back because maybe the cashier got something through that guy's thick skull that no one else has been able to do without being a pushover.


Downvoted you for NSFW and OP for imgur use.

STOP USING IMGUR and QUICKMEME ! =(

http://www.imageshack.us/toolbar/pictures.php

It's free to sign up.

Sorry, but I had to downvote.


Yeah, they usually make them with safety glass now.


NO, YOU CAN GET A DIRECT GOOGLE SEARCH TOOLBAR FOR FIREFOX AS WELL AS OTHER BROWSERS.

GET SOME KNOWLEDGE.


Acting Level : Visual Effects Guy


Just be happy we don't invade your country.  Not jack shit you could do with your fucking mounties.


and one student lost his anus during the demonstration.


Well, I feel like I have no leverage because he could leave me easily and have an instant girlfriend.

I'm going to let the pact thing go, but I don't think we should have sex right away. I don't want to him to win on both counts.


And then people wonder where the socially awkward PC gamer stereotype came from.


Why are you pointing me to your deleted posts?

Oh, okay!  Okay!  I get it: you're calling yourself the douchebag who deletes stuff!  Gotcha!

Damn raging faggot douche.


Redditor for 25 days. This checks out.


I used to get time to do this, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


As diabetes, I can confirm this.


NO ONE IS GETTING RIPPED OFF. How silly.  It clearly states the price.  No one is paying more than they want.  Selling a 1bdrm apt in Manhattan for $1million isn't ripping anyone off.  There are some people who are willing to pay more for something for reasons you do not share.

Ripping someone off would be offering it for MSRP and then charging them 30K more.

Don't be dumb


>Do you have any kind of **sauce** for that pizza fact?

FTFY


that kid is wearing a dress and you noticed a gay hand gesture?


Do this, but after you fake hang up the phone explain that you have to go because your great uncle Ernest is in town.


I disagree. The felt that the whole game was pretty weak besides the multiplayer. But even then it was average.

But that's just my opinion

EDIT:Glad to see a very big discussion coming out of this! Love to see everyone's different opinions!


I, for one, would fuck the *shit* out of a girl who owns a "just because" burqa.


Yep, and those apricot things also harm the environment. They are too small to be filtered out of the water so fishes eat them and die. :(


Well, at least she didn't have a drinking problem.


Neither can Alberto, that's the problem.


it is a delayed reaction he will die in 50 to 70 years.


Yea, you missed on this attempt at humor. But I appreciate the effort so I will avoid downvoting, yw.

Also, there is no "1 year old" mentioned anywhere in the post you are replying to so if you are all about being annoyingly pedantic you also failed on that account.


I don't think you should be punishing the guys. They are obviously sad and lonely and have enough issues trying to get with a stripper. You don't need to make their lives worse because they were duped by a stripper. You should be trying to figure out how to get back at her for duping them and making you a pawn in her scheme.


Good thing you used quotes because you for sure stole [my comment](http://www.reddit.com/r/pokemon/comments/whxzl/everytime_i_enter_this_room/c5dizi6) from the last time an image of this room was posted. Comedy ain't free, bro. I calculate you owe me 7000 pokedollars.


30k? What the hell? I know it's said often but that's ridiculous. I fail to understand how we can pay educators such small salaries.


I'm making a note here, you're a faggot.


>while on the move

I'm convinced you're a spy doing damage control now


lmao i get it cuz of like cancer!! op is cancer amirite? xD


To be fair, they had guns and he didn't.....wait a minute....


Go eat a bag of dicks.


Good on you for being one of the few pet shop employees that won't just try to sell someone an animal while ignoring the fact that that person  absolutely shouldn't buy it. The world needs more people like you.


Rough when you lose a war after having killed 20 million people on the other side with no mercy. Retribution is a bitch.


Math checks out.

At least it would if I had checked it and found it to be correct.


I used to need an aww, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


My friend has that and uses it as a bowl for snacks. Do you use it for snacks? If so which ones.


Well like I just moved from Colombia to Canada only two years ago and girls at school are mean to me so i kinda slept with other guys while dating him sort of but I really want him to just give me another chance, he's the only person I have


Damn it... Not again!


Wow, you're really on to something - that comment could easily get you a Ph.D. in inferential statistics.


I know that feel, bro. :I


clearly you are fucking idiot.


Watching this poor thing get kicked hurts my heart a little bit.


Punk left because they were giving Bryan his spot


Pic or you're a turkey.


I have absolutely bought boxed food from the dollar store. Why not? It's cheap, it's like 2 miles from my house, it will be consumed before it goes bad. What exactly is bad about it?


Mainly racial epithets or general slander.


> My husband didn't hurt anyone actually (although I think he could have advanced to hurt someone), but he's being sentence the same as someone who has.

You're as bad as he is.  Of course he's hurt people, many of them, repeatedly, and helped others to do so as well.  Have some fucking sympathy for the real victims here (hint: it's not you or him).


My mum says she will pop her head in to make sure we are ok. She is also making us pizza baguettes


A) the baby already has a sex/gender
B) they are referencing the future, older person (teenager) the baby will become.
So - don't be a dick (no pun intended).


This is the same guy who is making sure his space suits look sexy.  I doubt his new car will be a dorkmobile.


Scott Hall is a white knight. What a fag


Gamecube controller, whether or not you like it, is actually very smart design. The central button with three orbiting buttons means you only ever move your thumb in one specific direction for each button. There's 0% chance you could ever press the wrong button thoughtlessly.

It looks awkward, it functions fantastically.


I would still stomp the shit out of that animal.


I'm sorry, that was so unfair to you. If anything, you needed those field trips, those library books and that safety patrol job more than other students. It makes me angry that the adults in the school didn't see that or care enough to see that.


I used to think this was a creepy picture, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


Is this your first summer?


It's an accusation used by women who refuse to take a male perspective seriously, while dismissing concerns simply because they don't jibe with female perspectives.

i.e. "Your opinion is worth less because of your gender".

People who use the term mansplain are sexist.


Police Officer in need of immediate assistance.


ya... u sure know about him more than i do... after all i has only subscribed to him 2 years before sc2 released.

And the NASL S1 invitation process was through video and fan voting but based on real result.


This is some pretty nice passive aggressive going on here.


Well now it's at +44 so I have to downvote. Thanks a lot random guy on the internet.


Could anybody explain to me what exactly is offensive about this add. I don't see anything wrong with it.


>I hate that this happens every time a attractive person posts a picture. Seriously Reddit, stop being a disappointment.

FTFY

If you want examples ask.

I like how nobody says anything. lolreddithivemind.


Dude, she knew. She just played dead for you.  Happy Birthday


I'm about 14 inches deep inside your mom's abdomen


Everything is going according to plan....


It's "kitten", you gibbering faggot.


hitmonchan & hitmonlee = Jackie Chan & Bruce Lee


Yes.. a god that sucks.


That could be the methane gas from the shit.


Silly white people... trying to steal the black mans karma


"Actually, that's hemoglobin."

Tangentially related: A friend of mine missed a question on a health exam by saying the blood is full of homogoblins.


Still, you cannot compare KBK with an OSL tournament.


Buy her a cactus with the same note.


Also I don't know your backstory but coming from a guy if you have never had sex with either of this guys and they had sex with you that quickly they probably just want to have sex with you and that's why they are your friend. But honestly fuck that guy for saying you not sexy enough for him. That's shitttty.


Best trolling I've seen from a senator in a long time.


Well, at least we've discounted the possibility that OP is a faggot.


Americans are so quick to assume everyone else is American.


Is there vomit on your sweater already?


Lazy punchline? Otherwise known as the **French punchline**.


Yeah? Well you are "that guy", bitch...


Surprisingly enough that does look a lot better than I would have thought.


Kneath Digh- DAMMNIT!


You flew too close to the karma sun Icarus.


Let's be real, no he's not. Especially if they lose to the 76ers tonight.


/r/politics is hard as a rock reading this


Fanboy #2 step right up!


If it moves and shouldn't: duct tape.
If it doesn't move and should: WD-40

All you'll ever need.


In which region? They're around, you just have to look.


Its all in he hand movements i think....


This "article" is from the grauniad. A newspaper even more biased and less facts based than Murdochs media outlets which is quite an accomplishment.

Circlejerk over blatantly false propaganda all you want though.


You can sell testicles on the black market


fuqq guess i shoulda TILed it


Great. A 13 year old has better mascara skills than me. At 29.


I dont know where you got that upvote, but i am taking it away from you.


Dentist: Why must you turn my office into a house of lies?


Hijacking top comment, ex-K9 here, I think most people realize this but no dogs do not know the concept of waiting in line (or even "self" or "I" for that matter, sadly) and OP's picture is just some asshole lining up tons of toys and then ordering his dog to sit at the end; Then taking a picture, adding a cheesy tagline bound to get karma/likes on facebook.


As a short man, this is the bane of my existence.


You must be one of those rape apologists. You are ruining everything.


sorry you lost your flops bro


Oh no..you never wanna go full Cowboys


**I'M SORRY THAT'S NOT MY SIZE**


ill improve your sex perfomance.


vanilla rain, some stay dry while others feel the stains


>Keep up the good work. *Ubuntu* is an incredible OS.

FTFY

[EDIT](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/73/Trollface.png)


At least you didnt accidently buy a horse.


Downvoted just because I expected more.


Johnny- "Hello there. I am interested in learning about your culture"
Grandma- "I will show you the ways of my people"
Grandson- "karma karma karma karma karma karma"


> Rules of a mosh pit

cringe


In the tall grasses, next to a flowing river, with the setting sun in his face.  It's like something out of a warrior epic.


Downvoted for imgur post. There's much better hosting out their without all the ads.