what are you fucking retarded? 'shrink it down'??? it is just a tiny motor with a tiny off center weight. there is no magic in making it smaller. It just doesnt vibrate as powerfully as a controller.

Astounding how stupid people are.


Bop it! Twist it! Pull it! Bop it! Pull it! Twist it!


Yesssss. Let the hate flow through you...


Now can we *finally* do something about the Portuguese?


You sound angry, I hope the internet is just your place to vent and in real life you are like Mary Poppins.


1 + 4 = 5 ......         14 - 5 = **9**

20 - 14 = 6  ....     6 + 5 = **11**

**9/11**!!!


IF (BIG IF) you're a cute or hot woman, you're more than welcome to suck me off to completion bareback. (if you're clean)


>she insisted

I mean, you couldn't be rude!


It isn't spam my brothers - you get the content "as advertised" nothing more nothing less (where's the spam!?), you like it, I deserve credit for bringing it to your attention, otherwise you wouldn't see it (DUH!), and anything else isn't my problem. You don't like it - your problem, anything else isn't my problem.

That's how me sees that. Peace, brothers. Enjoy more, critisize less.


Don't worry, I'll be gentle with your mom.


There are three things wrong with your post. The points aren't imaginary, I didn't lie to gain points, and you should have typed "principle" rather than "principal." An easy way to learn that grammatical rule is to know that the principal is always your pal because you were probably one of those tattletalers, and principals love tattetalers. Go tattle someone else's tail, please!


It was that over 'No Fags'.


You seriously think you will get cancer from these fucking things?

For fuck's sake talk about entitlement. You get to fly in a magical fucking machine in the sky across the world. If you don't want to follow the safety regulations ensuring you and others don't get blown the fuck up you can drive or take a boat to where you want to go.


Wow. If I pulled some shit like that my dad would just throw me off the balcony and start making a new kid to replace me.


Finally a country with sane politicians that used common sense.

Most people on reddit think its ok to go to a book store copy an entire book and leave with that copy. That is stealing and that is exactly what happens over the Internet.

Looks like the censoring of my post has begun. Shame on redditors.


We did two seasons, they asked for a third, but we decided to move on to other projects. I hope you enjoyed it.


What about my username makes you think that? In other words, "Let me at him! You're going down judokalinker. Dadadadadadaaaa. Puppy power!!!"


Alternatively, "Its a picnic"(Problem in chair, not in computer)


Apparently, as an Illinois state legislator through 2004, Barack was prohibited from taking honoraria for speaking under the Illinois Governmental Ethics Act.

Unfortunately his tax returns show 'speaking fees' of approximately 150k;

But hey, don't look over there at the guy behind the curtain..


They don't make 'em like they used to. People, that is.


I used to be a story just barely realistic enough for me to believe but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Well at least you gave IT a shot.


Supposedly, her card was still attached to the account so purchases would be billed to that.


Before you kill yourself could you transcribe your last words and send them to me?


Did you miss the part where they said they can and will continue to donate to organizations that help homeless lgbt youth?


DARE was pretty fucked up.  I specifically remember being told that most marijuana users died in their sleep after smoking.  Good stuff.


Haha best username ever. It's so blatant.


>I was briefly the strategic online gramatical image consultant to the president of the United States.

**Edit:** Yes everyone 'grammatical' I get it, I'm sorry for the ironic embarrassment. Quit with the messages. Also I wasn't the one who corrected him, I was inferring (*implying*) that would be the title the person can use.


Why don't you shut the fuck up?!


Do we not all just imagine something similar with a stranger from time to time?


Um. Chickens don't carry their eggs inside them. They lay them on the ground. There can't be a fetus.


"I just shot him; the *doctors* killed him."

-- supposed quote from the assassin at his trial


Ah ! I see what you did there.


Fatty fatty no-parents


lol what's wrongh with me laughing at Identitychecker comment? why so downvoted? :S

EDIT: thanks to whoever downvoted!


there are plenty of other places on reddit to look at mildly interesting gifs


I would lovingly relationship the fuck out of her.


Fair enough...

Following that train of thought in Destiny 2, Bungie should make the loot ONLY purchasable through an in-game store. Then imagine how awesome Destiny 3 will be with all the money they make!!!

I can't wait!


Good work, everyone.  We're done here for the day


Because it can't be that incomes are small and expenses are high? No, has to be those damn public services that we NEED. Idiot.


Exactly.  As a michigan resident, I want that damn bridge!


I'm a part of the human race, cracker. No matter how much you wish otherwise.

Keep walking through our neighborhoods though. Maybe you'll get lucky and *I'll* be the one asking what you're doing there next time.


Now....now we play the game.


Vote this comment down! Wheeeeeee!


I said this above, but another good Fight Club one is how when Narrator & Tyler start beating up those cars, the car alarms only go off when Narrator hits them. The cars Tyler hits make no sound at all.


So funny XD ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


She should have had him watch the film 1984.


It was a performance that said "See, I told you I was the boss around here, now sack the manager".


>super picky about women I was interested in

>jealous of other guy's physiques

Fuck.


Great work? He killed his friends and you're saying great work?


Her little sister doesn't like cats either.


god damnit why does everything religion-related on reddit need to say "well it's obviously fake." we get it lots of people on reddit dont believe in God. you can be mature about it nigga.

ps im agnostic so


BECAUSE SHE'S A HOT GIRL AND THEY DON'T PLAY GAMES YA DUMMY.


Not just any prince, Half-Blood Prince.


TIL my tax dollars pay to entice children to join the armed forces.


Dear god you people are sensitive.


Plot Twist: OP is from Paris


To be fair the audiences are so fucking stupid I don't know how much subtlety and intelligence they can take. I mean this is a world where Chris Nolan is considered a bona fide genius.


Or it was the first in line and all the sperm moved at the same pace, maybe some in the back actually moved faster but couldn't overcome their disadvantage.  You could be the product of entitlement and inequality.


Wait a minute dude, first you post a picture of a injured cat, and now you're posting pictures of dead fish and other heinous acts of animal cruelty? I don't care if your cat is cute, you're a inhuman monster.

And screw the people saying "I can has fish" and retarded cat comments in the first place. They're not funny, and they only identify you with a group often referred to as 'retards'.


Darizzle - Sandstizzle


If you type to potato, you get ice cweaaaaam, yayyyyy!


Do it. Just do it. And come back to deliver the story. Thank you.


All 8 of them are losing their minds.


Mine will walk around the house meowing loudly for about 5 minutes before he makes his way to the litter box. I interpret it as a warning.


So you don't have 3 dads you fucking moron. You have 1 dad, 1 mom. The others are just nobodies.


The most friendly kind of DDoS.


Fortunately (or unfortunately) I'm not going to delve into his history to paint the full picture for you.  Let me just say, I've always been the faithful one


This is weirdly the biggest burn I've ever seen in this sub.


Another Redditor who sounds *so fun* in bed.


Fixed.  http://i.imgur.com/8bj5Z.jpg


Too bad I made the story up, I'm not even a woman, you dumb fuck. I'm a guy.... I just wanted to see what other guys would say (reveals a lot about you btw).

>enjoy your life

Thanks, I'll enjoy fucking with the average male like yourself.


If I remember correctly it was originally a site about programming, by programmers so it was probably pretty underground and hopefully intelligent.


If that afro was maintained...

Edit - you can white knight this all you want.

http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/12/what-men-think-about-your-pubic-hair.html?m=1

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/mens-pubic-hair-preferences

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3643298/?report=classic


From your friendly neighbourhood PCP dealer.


so entertaining right?

i wish it had more blood and shootings though

like more action and stuff

fuck you


Do you want a 90 minute film of someone just clicky clacking at a keyboard in a dimly lit room, swearing to themselves a few times, part way through their mom calls them down to dinner instead?


Great way to troll the fake accounts...with another fake account?


Balls of motherfucking Steel


That actually isn't what we're saying at all.

But interpret it however you like.


Today me, tomorrow you.


No. No it didn't.

Edit: Yeah yeah I was wrong. I was tired and hungry and stubborn and dumb. Not deleting my comments though. Sometimes downvoting some moron into oblivion is the best part of reddit and I won't take that experience away from you guys.


I have this one shelf that has them all.  It looks dumb.


>"I feel that they shouldn't have allowed this specific firmware to be sent through their auto-update system, but us enterprise guys don't do autoupdates"

Hmm... Troll?


Seriously! How many times have I gone, "NO. That can't be a thing... Holy shit it really is a thing!"? Too many. Too. Many.


seriously? jealous of an inanimate object? id be more inclined to suggest working thru the basis for the jealousy, than shift the blame.


Seems pretty convenient that it only works in this arbitrary cave in the middle of nowhere. If I was a knight tasked with guarding the grail, making up a rule like "it only works here" would be the first thing i'd do. How else would you keep someone from bolting with it?


Bless you, champ. If there's anything people with mental health issues need, it's more douchebags stigmatizing them.


There was a serial killer that was recently caught. He had been killing women and hiding their bodies in abandoned houses. There were 7 victims.  Nobody smelled anything because the city smells so bad.


thats because youre a faggot with no self control or class


Wow. Stupid, bratty AND dangerous. She deserves a medal.


So tl;dr: you did it to subvert a subreddit's moderation policy AKA to be blatantly antagonizing. Good to know.


Jeans can be worn multiple days in a row!


No... adults who devote a lot of time to giving relationship advice and are in stable relationships.


Completely different expression to the Nazi salute

edit: the idea is that the Nazi salute is a "superman pose" of its own :\^)


*so...when you gonna let me tap that sweet ass? FTFY


I did accidentally yesterday and out shot their AWPer.


Who watches the whole thing?  Skip ahead to the good parts.


You, Sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.


http://youtu.be/RXiJcFVds0E This isnt a tv show joke or anything


When you mention good karma, you get good karma.


She was afraid that he is doing drugs on the toilet.


Your argument lacks any merit.


Wizard of Oz... pop popcorn... pop... poppies... HEROIN. THEY WERE DOING HEROIN.


You seem to be confused about this, but I assure you that's by far more beneficial than being blandly polite while supporting the world's most evil terrorist organization. It's a sad thing that the US education system turns out poorly educated children who can't differentiate between tone and content.


That's actually the best thing you could have done in that situation.


Really? After they do something they never had to do rather than fixing a stupid glitch on a braindead champion you like playing you bash them for giving 95% of their players a free gift? Downvoted.


Just imagining a guy walking around during WWI consoling himself by talking to a brick.

"It's okay bricky, we're gonna win this war because a man from the future told us that we should talk to a brick."


It was a marathon, not a cage match to the death. I am sure even a chiropractor has enough basic training to stabilize a person till they reach a hospital.


Dude. You literally have an evil twin.


>  I can't accept the actual ogling.

What do you mean by "accept"?


OP should hire some strippers to dance around them.


And after that all that revenue will go straight into your pocket.

Fuck off with this viral bullshit.


A lot of people want Nerf guns!  They're almost famous!  There's water soaker ones, little blue ball ones... maybe the next one they invent will be paintball ones.  They might even make a commercial saying you have to make up a Nerf ball thing and you text it online to Nerf!  I mean, WAY more people than you and me want it!


No, I disagree. Some people, niggers, are just worthless and can't live independently in any sophisticated society. Either they should be treated like wildlife or enslaved.


Probably not for long.


"Spend $4.6 trillion on lower tax rates". Hilarious. How can you not laugh at this logic?


Well, this is pretty damn stupid...


And yet, only slightly worse than the "Female Protagonist" tag.


Kind of like a sponge left under the sink.


Us fight terrorists and dictatorships, doesn't annex country and impose its occupation to people who want their indipendence like Putin, so you can stick your whataboutism deep inside your ass.


was it your *birthday suit*?


I guess the weather mod he is using threw me off. It doesn't usually look like that.


I've heard a similar response before: "Teething."


Sorry, I'm a bit of a Natzi about it. Clearly Reddit doesn't like my correction :(


You are a good friend!


Hi CEO, this is CIO.Why did you miss our meeting today ?


Same here.

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at PG rated comments.


Lolwut six fingered man


Indeed, at least she knows when she's getting fucked...


Swedish guy, if NYC was full of Swedes there would be 1/100,000 the amount of crime and no reason to profile.


I want everyone to hear this story.


Is that a serious question?


In that one commercial they're particularly bouncy reasons.


That's what i was thinking xD

When I get home I'm going to load up a server and see what I can do xD


I can confirm this is a legitimate username.


does she have hair.  Cause if bitch have hair den she be mad cray cray


I just got grammar brain freeze from reading that sentence too fast.


They didn't fucking throw his main event status away... is John Cena no longer a main eventer since he's in a midcard match at WrestleMania? NO! NO! NO!


I think, with hindsight, we should have not stayed as long as I did with the ministry of finance


What are you talking about "volunteers"? , I simply called this guy on his complete lack of evidence and the fact his original content was all over twitter before it ever reached reddit

https://twitter.com/EuromaidanPR/status/565130107401281536


"because fuck you, that's why"


You call that skinny? Shit, I would look like an anorexic to you then.


She's gonna have to find a computer first


Sorry. Still doesn't mean Jews were the only people in those camps. This is common knowledge, kid.


That is the best reason I've heard so far.


Sorry for pointing out the fact his cheeks are blown out like a fucking fish. Fans of every sport don't want to believe they use PEDs but you'd have to be an idiot to think lebron after 4 consecutive finals runs hasn't cycled. Mans put over 40k minutes on his body before 30; something that has never been done before in the sport.


Isn't it somewhere behind the knee?


Guys! Guys! This person is playing WoW differently to the way we play WoW. What a loser.


this is why net neutrality is important. imagine a world where dealing with [facebook's abuse](https://stallman.org/facebook.html) is all you got.


steam id: kineticwaffle I love synd and through the transitive property you as well, any time he wants to play just shoot me an invite


improved line.
everyone behind the monitor was crying...


He's a soldier....

The real problem is: Americans think their soldiers are fucking immaculate.........**soldiers** are fucking dirtbags....it's Marine who are on point and particular with their uniforms.


Ye gods. All those sci-fi's that used pointless glowing lights on their tech... they were really just cooling outlets!


wow you're pussy whipped faggot. go watch some more oprah. better yet just suck my cock faggot.


sounds like you should do that anyway.


He's a cop... how am I supposed to feel about this?! ಥ_ಥ

*hop on your high horse below!


You were thinking of him this whole time while posting this huh


My other comment is at -44. :(


>I'm going to lose wood quicker than

a lumberjack with amnesia.


Filthy house for filthy people


Extra points if you start the video vertical, then remember to turn your phone sideways, so the video gets uploaded as vertical and rotated 90 degrees.
---

---

EDIT1: [An example for reference.](https://youtu.be/Q9uIcWIWOLI)

EDIT2:
>If anyone cares screen flip at 1:42

Courtesy of /u/yofriendlyenemy


Are Oglaf strips meant to be funny? I can't tell.


Saddest story on the page.  Don't ever let past injustices dictate your future success, man.


>Redditor for 6 months, 13 days.

I'll allow it.  Gee, I'm sure you've never heard that one before.


Did he also get to pick the health care plan and then accidentally shoot a gun off in the office?


You don't think it's all just publicity/advertisement for his channel?


No man, it's dangerous to go alone out there. Just stay here with us.


You were trying to make a joke? Please explain it... I'm really lost.


Wouldn't it be easier to get out? You would just need someone pulling your arms, if he had gone in head first his ribs would've expanded and he would've gotten stuck. [excuse my art skills but like this](http://m.imgur.com/4ACnDiM) I don't think he should be going in there period though...


lul its so disingenuous to claim you found it in askreddit when it is downvoted below threshold and didnt find it through her specifically mentioning it in the srs post you also linked too.


Everyone should have a sex.


More anti-women misogyny from the War On Women left.


Upvote this man. For he alone is pure.


Actually thats what your supposed to do. Under an overpass like that is one of the safer places outside of a basement


I have shot a lot of guns.  The loudest likely being my .22-250 or my dad's .300 win. mag.  Those make my ears ring a bit with no ear protection.  This not only had my ears ringing so badly I lost sleep over it, but I could feel the sound rip through me.


<3

I'm amazed. Everything I've seen in /r/babybumps has been a positive thought on celebrating pregnancy. That's what the name itself entails.

But it takes one judgmental, negative person to upset an entire thread, and ruin the party, so to speak.


I failed  [](/fuckthatshit)


No upvotes because though that was a nice answer, cough cough you sounded douchey to start. Have a good day!


Michael Cera... I'm easily as socially awkward as he seems to be.


They do? Ah, suddenly the need for a "humiliation pink" makes more sense... To complement that colour and let me guess, they have an "embarrassment pink" as well then?


Responsible journalism? In THIS country?


you really want to bring meme's into the argument? why don't you just shut the fuck up instead, and have that little spec of dignity on you, that you havn't managed to scrape off via slutty pictures / sheer stupidity?


He doesn't see what you did there.


I'd hit that dog with a bat.


I'm always making Freudian slips. This morning, over breakfast with my wife, I meant to say, "Could you please pass the *sugar*." But instead it came out as "You heartless cunt, you ruined my life."


Do you understand what a joke is fella?  Wanna know what I'd actually do in OP's situation?  Live my normal life, but that's not very funny is it?


Story would be better if your buddy had kissed her father instead.


If the 'Wanderer' doesn't wander he's not really a wanderer now is he?


Skype. I'm finally able to see and talk to family in the Philippines. I haven't been back to the Philippines in 15 years, so this is very important to me. Also color TV!


Just because I know the quote of something doesnt mean I watch it. I know what the Vulcan sign of peace is yet I don't watch Star wars. People make plenty of alike correlations such as I, with no viewing experience needed.

edit: If it is of any constellation to you kids, I'm f*cking laughing my ass at how petty some of you all are.

edit: Sorry not sorry nerds I meant Star Craft


well that wasn't very safe. hiyo!


p.s. this seems really gay.


Spongebob: "I'M UGLY AND I'M PROUD! I'M UGLY AND I'M PROUD!"

Sqiudward: "Is that what he calls it?"


Could be. But now i've heard it every freaking day since the movie.


Lead developer of Half Life 3


Hate to be an ass, but he looks very grunt-ish in the right photo, not at all comfortable in his own body.

Good to see that he thinks he is, though.


Fellow mark Nutt I see


Humiliation is internal. not external. *I* would know. *I* don't care now that I have removed your work, thanks to a few not as arrogant as you. You are only at fault if you knew or supposed that this firestorm would be the reaction to your post.

I care about the next person who buts up against this...


"But babe, I swear, she *really didn't want it*!"


Instructions unclear, penis stuck in USB slot.


Also always stand when shaking someone's hand. It's disrespectful to shake while sitting


I couldnt disagree more. It was clearly something that was important to her, and continues to be. since she still talks about it. I think its extremely insensitive to demand she shut up about it, to make you feel better. she is who she is, and you should like her for that!


I see watt you did there


Considering the drug and domestic violence statistics, that's probably a good thing.


I put the penis in your vagina, all I need is your vagina.


I just hope he goes outside sometimes. Yeesh.


It actually reminded me of this old meme.
http://i.imgur.com/0y8Jy.jpg


The OP doesn't say how long she's known this guy or whether or not they're exclusive.


I think they're called "pocket porn fairies".


What do you want, a fucking cookie?

Nobody on the internet gives a shit who uploaded the original, or what the context is. Also, fuck your little charity-beg websites.

Down with you, and bring on the funny captions! That little nigger cracks me up every time!


Same! Please do this.


That fucking "even" pisses me off to no end. As if gay people are second-class citizens who are 'permitted' by society to do the things straight people do.


Guru is left the only potent male in the district. Quoted as saying "I can't believe that worked!".


This ^ and they seem to forget 40 was on the table last year, another season of failure doesn't make you more expensive.

Bottom line is Arsenal need to let go of Fab, his Arsenal days are over. He was contract signed before the legal age by Arsenal and now they need to quit being the bitches they are and take the current bid, so I can watch Nasri can leave as well.


In 8th grade my teacher made the whole class watch it.  I was so bummed because it looked like a boring movie.

I ended up thinking it was awesome.


I'd hate to disappoint you

    Click


I have photoshop on my computer, and I know I can flip. But my webcam hasn't been working and in my head the easiest thing to do was just write backwards and take a picture on my phone in the mirror.

My phone doesn't have a backwards camera too, its an iPhone 3GS hand me down.


3 of the 5 people *present.*  Who knows how many others work there that had absolutely *nothing* to do with this video.

Mob justice is almost never actual justice.  The people who lied and trashed the reputation of this business are scumbags, as bad or worse than anyone in that video.


Am i the only one around here who thinks this is awesome? Getting woken up with a blowjob? What the fuck is wrong with that? If only everyday could start that way.


you come to "wtf" and you GET "wtf"...ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!


I think you guys just made a new Pitbull song


Are you by any chance Asian?  The only place I can come up with for that L to have arisen from is mispronouncing "free" as "flee".

Edit: Since people seem to be missing it, it's "FOSS", not "FLOSS".  FOSS is for computers, FLOSS is for teeth.


*throws pencil in your direction and scoffs*


Oh sorry I didn't read the story.


I can honestly say Terry Crews and Ghost In The Shell are two topics I would never have put together in a million years.  This man truly is worthy of our devotion.


Sugar can kill them in the future. The illegal is kind of irrelevant.

I'm not saying you're obligated to tell off parents for doing stuff, but it's not wrong to do so.


so buy epidemico616...

Edit: Evacuate, someone's buying Everyone!


Agreed but gold is just so easy to attain... Plat at least requires some skill. It amazes me how bad the players of league of legends are at LoL....


You  put too much thought into this.


Who's going to put less of a dent in Valve's pocket winning the epic giveaway: some punk ass kid who's only got $60 Modern Warfare 3 on his account, or some guy who's got $6k on his account?


He did the whole act again until they told him it was just battery acid. He then promptly died.


well, if u made the mistake of marrying her, its obvious you have to follow it up


I volunteer to help make one.


Think about it, skateboarders aren't allowed anywhere nowadays. Give em a break.


Clickers are such a scam. Fuck the clicker.


Every person that goes against the massive swell of public opinion is a troll in their own right, making people question the error of their ways. I am proud to be amongst the people villified by the label, and I have embraced it, since the price of unpopularity pales in comparison to an eternity of unquestioned tradition of tildes, fostered from generation to generation.


I keep reading your comment but all I see is your username...


"Just remember, Randall, laughter is the best medicine, so try showing your lady a good comic instead of yours.

With contempt,

CC9000"


Chafing and blisters on your hogs snout!


Move your cursor to the top right of your screen, hover over the red X, and smash the shit out of your computer with a hammer.

This site will grow on you like none other

leave while you still can

edit: Sorry, thought the comment above said "get out of *here*", as in Reddit. So my comment has nothing to do with the conversation. Carry on.


Yeah, he's really sticking with his beliefs.


The fact you're a Sunderland fan really made your view on the decision much more interesting, thanks a lot.


Since no one else has said it yet, please go find someone you trust to talk to. Trust me when I tell you that it's not the answer.


Atheists know only how to bad mouth believers. You guys preach and preach which is no better than the opposite end but you guys claim to better. Even R. Dawkins said he would be too ashamed to be called an atheist.


Thank you, Clayton Bigsby.


Lucky for you, I've been a Yanks fan since I was 4 and Steelers since 2004, still called a bandwagon -__-
EDIT: try to say something to a guy, and typical asshole redditors judge somebody. Might as well say it, I'm conservative, fuck Obama he sucks dick, I'm a fucking Catholic, and cats fucking suck.


Ballet sounds metal as fuck.


Hahahahaha

Damn, Warriors fans at the delusional stage now


I agree.
Sorry, but I think defending this type of shit is ridiculous.
If they were killed for food and the horn was an after-thought to make more money for even more food/supplies, you'd never hear me complain.

Leaving this animal alive and bleeding out is cruel.

"Not bad people".
Shut the fuck up, lol.


Why the fuck would I make gifs of random shit? I've literally never made a gif of anything.

Here's a different situation after he thought Flamini fouled him that I pulled from a different thread:

http://i.imgur.com/6J2meYw.gif

Just watch a whole Chelsea game, Costa isn't the football demon people make him out to be. A cunt yes, but he regularly high fives opposing team players.


Nobody cares, Christopher Columbus.


What does this have to do with anything?


Yeah, unless it's something important to you, stop for the sake of the relationship. If it is important to you, then work that shit out with your SO.


Like removing replay.  Only takes 30 seconds my ass.

edit: didn't know there were so many replay apologists in this sub.  fuck ya'll and bring on the downvotes.  replay sucks and nothing can change that.


if alternative medicine worked, it would just be called medicine


Yes, that is a non standard resolution. And is that an IPS display?

BOOM FUCKING HEADSHOT


Good for him. It's the hosts fault for not reviewing the questions beforehand on a live interview.


Upvote

Edit: Oh no.  Not downvotes.


Drake the type of nigga to come back the next day to help clean up.


Why not just use "Republican"?


But when the city is threatened by Doctor Damp's diabolical flood machine there's only one way he can save the day.


Has actually nothing to do with Math but okay.


With the delay from NBC, he could swim across the Atlantic in time.


And I'm still getting down voted into hell!


We need a national common purpose, a goal we can achieve together analogous to landing people on the Moon (and returning him safely to Earth). I'd like us to have a completely renewable energy system conceived, designed, built, and used by every one of us in the U.S. We could lead the world in doing more with less. That effort would trickle up into every aspect of our lives, schools included.


It is never appropriate.

Fucking grade school bullshit.


Dangit!  I was going to say "surprise masquerade party!"


He obviously has a new set of friends that encourage this behavior.  You may want to try boot camp.


"you are who you choose to be"
"suuuuuperman"


AHAHAHhAHAHA THAT SCREECHY BITCH GOT RAPED I BET SHE SCREECHED


Gets especially weird around friends who have been in multiple relationships and the topic comes up.


I didn't know what kind of fantasy game Legend of Zelda was, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


methinks the "coworkers" at the other coffee shop threw you under the bus when their manager asked what went on.


FTFY I got to challenger since everyone on reddit is challenger


YOU CAN'T BREATHE?! HOLY SHIT, SEND THIS MAN MORE MONEY!


How acute and original of you


FUCK YOU, NBC. GIVE ME MY FUCKING COMMUNITY BACK.


>*Seriousness is the last refuge of the shallow*.


You have upvoted him 4 times already. It's an RES feature.


No its not admirable. It should be absolutely fucking done. not something that is a rare case and that when it happens the company is to be comended. I Guess thats the sad world we live in now.


still better than obama.


I don't know why, but that's kind of beautiful in a way.


Im in a frat, never seen anyone wear either chubbies or sperrys in it.


The twist: Neigbourhoodrapist is a guy and it was a football-related hazing incident


this just happened to me at the airport last week... Someone turned in my wallet with all my credit cards and ids but without all my casino winnings in it... Guess they took their finder's fee :/


704* for EU customers.


Because they seem to want to ignore everything wow and past MMOs did right, and make ALL the mistakes all over again. Its rather annoying to see.

And the fanboys come! Yay! Dont learn from past mistakes of others! YOURE ALL SO RIGHT.


If he could punch through that canopy, we wouldn't even need the fighter jet because we would have the Hulk.


>for karma ?

What.


I work for Microsoft and just bundled it as the default wallpaper on Windows 8.


No, I can be both, as I said.


It just feels like you're paying less.


I bet if we sent in /r/atheism, we could have this fixed in a week.

.

.

.

Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh


Well wtf are you doing getting your period at my house? Do that at your own damn house


**A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z**


No, I think he's just amphibicurious.


oh so you're just pulling numbers out of your ass now I understand


Pizza guy driving around drunk.

I disagree.


You don't know that.  It looks like she did, but your opinion isn't fact.  It's absolutely not fact.  No one should be upvoting pieces of trash who go around saying they "know" what happened in a situation they had nothing to do with.

You are no one.  Nothing.  Your opinion is meaningless.  Stop treating it as anything else.


Cry me a river, so when I'm the 1% I can sail my yacht down it while I play blackjack with hookers.


NO valve cant go down.

EDIT: /sarcasm


I see how a degree in neurophysiology might greatly degrade your ability to enjoy zombie movies.


I was just curious. >.<


Always an excommunication.


You are not intimate with anybody attractive enough to look good in this.


How did it get debunked?


how did it feel knowing you help put inferior technology on the market for super-inflated prices, so that idiots who didnt know any better would buy them?


"oh look at him, his nose is in her Cli-Toris."


What exactly do you mean "It works" thezodiackiller?


Say it ain't so

I did not go

Pukes my guts out

in the diner restroom

Kept my head still

It was a thrill

The night will go on

Eating my chicken soup..

na, na, na


This is NOT an unbiased discussion.


To small to ride, just big enough to [cuddle](http://sheet10.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/2011-05-03_000052.jpg).


That idiot could've been your brother.


If you have a child, you could get them to stand near the sidewalk and have them ask groups of kids if they could walk up to the house together because they are scared. Then when all the kids knock on your scary house you'd be able to grab your child and drag them screaming into the house.


I'm not the one who drove a hammer through his head. It was not my fault.

Perhaps you don't know enough about the situation to judge?


If you do it right, shouldn't you only need a blank check once?


I am an asshole for posting a fact?


*Paint me like one of your American girls.*


Just cause you're tired of em doesn't make it not funny/terrifying.


This honestly was painful to read, I've never read anything that has given me physical pain before but, my god I'm in pain


No, you won't need to dodge them.


I lost my mood ring a long time ago, I don't know how that makes me feel


"I'm sorry if I offended you" is not an apology at all. It is the laziest possible way of getting out of actually apologizing without making any attempt to understand why the other person is hurt.


How do you kill that which has no soul


Even if she agreed its fucked up. If I had a girlfriend I'd never post her on reddit, even if she didn't care. Maybe because I'm foreveralone.


"...GO TO YOUR ROOM!"


Asking for donations to buy a razor. LOL.

EDIT: Gee thanks guise, this is my biggest fail comment yet.

*tapdances while weathering out the downvote storm*


Equally that you can self-diagnose depression if you're sad, ADD if you don't like math class, and OCD if you like to wash your hands before you eat.


I have no idea what station it was and I'm not in the midwest, otherwise I would've probably tried to figure it out and say something :p


For some reason I have a craving for a grilled cheese sandwich.


How can you laugh at someone making fun of people in need?


Me too.  That's why I sit on the toilet and pee into the tub.


Fuck this righteous bullshit. I can't even comprehend why the world has come to a point where human life is regarded so much less than animal life. Really? You're willing to beat a guy this bad for a dog?

Edit: Ok reddit hive mind. I give up. Lynch this guy all the way.


I have three lines on my arm, each one to kind of represent good friends of mine who had died (don't want to get names on my body). Gotten all at different times, and none of the three knew eachother.

TWO of them faked their deaths and i found out years after the tattoos.


Haha! Great response.


If they had cemented their hands in that much concrete and allowed it to dry they would be getting some pretty severe burns.  Concrete, especially modern formulas, get very hot when drying.


hi I'm a conservative is this where I get my free blowjob?

sweet, my first ban


The first person to ever die in real life from a CGI explosion.


Some creepy neckbeard that everyone worships for some reason


I think your son might be a Roomba.


i wish you had killed yourself


I had you tagged as "Always on acid" before this comment. Go figure


The people that comment are just as bad, it's like watching monies throw poop at each other.

Except they're humans.


He has a drug dealer most ents would die for and he fucking ignores him...whatever


Women don't claim to want that, therefore a guy doing that is creepy. Women are consistent, men aren't.


So... Wait, am I playing Monopoly wrong?


I doubt it, most girls probably see them as funny but not worthy of having sex with; they'll probably still end up fucking some dumb dull athlete that night


Not even gona lie, had the title thought of 2 days ago.


You do know there are others on the show, right? Maybe people don't care about Seth Rollins.


What do you find so rustling about that?  They are not articulating it to your liking but they are absolutely right.


Wow, best friend? Really? Ouch.

Although she was drunk and her thought process could've meant something else; maybe she's seen you go through the same thing and was just being careless with the "empathy" ?


Very... i sit up all night and look at it grow.


Shut down the frat and expel the students? No way. The punishment has to fit the crime. let's be real here. These guys are singing a racist chant, not physically assaulting people or going to rapesville. More likely the fraternity will be put on probation and nationals will take disciplinary action.


a billion upvotes to you sir.


I can stop whenever I want.


I used to bring your own food, but then i took a arrow 2 tha knee!


So, not too far off from Biden.


what if i told you

your comment is bad and you should feel bad


Naw man, she totally backed out.  She just stayed in the hotel room and watched... for some reason, the entire time.  It wasn't so much cheating as, say, a live porn exhibit with her cheating sister in law.


>how the UN works

it doesnt


I hope to get a discount on tickets when I fly on the ostrich plane


"Including but not limited to"

hahaha, they dumbed it down for the console kids.


Rockwell Boston Levi.


Those Hungarian girls are Hungary for your cock. [Click here](http://www.lemonparty.org) to see them.


We called to complain, but didn't get any sort of response except a 'we'll look into it.' I posted something with their hashtag on Facebook. No response!


go have a fucking cry about it, jesus


My most upvoted comment ever would be about phantom penises...


Well hey, maybe he only put his balls in vaginas before, but now he's dipping them in peanut butter and shoving each testicle into a prolapsed anus.


BUT IT'S SO FUCKING COOL, HER MOM DOESN'T EVEN KNOW SO IT'S OK RIGHT?


when black people do it, it's them embracing their strong african heritage.
how cool is that?

when latinos do it, it's embracing their heritage.. how cool is that?

so.. like.. suck a penis you retard hypocrite.


Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the waves! And the land because we're the Royal Navy and we have landships and fuck you.


all condoms have microscopic holes 50x larger than the HIV virus itself.. reduces the risk, but not entirely, not entirely at all.


EINS, ZWEI, DREI, VIER, FÜNF, SECHS, SIEBEN, ACHT

done


SRS links to lots and lots and lots of posts. Very very very few ever get downvoted. You really think this one was their doing?


Lesson #2: The importance of pope-mobile


if your differing opinion on muffler style weren't so loud, maybe this world would be a more peaceful place.


"No tears" shampoo DOES NOT HELP.


I came here to make that comment :-\


There is a little hole just below the clit where the pee comes out of. You won't see it unless you look for it.


No less shitty than the fashion advice.


Save it next to your cum box just in case?


bad writing disguised by outstanding artwork


And if you have boobs, they float.


In America it basically is. Particularly because religion (Christianity) is shoved down everyone's throats on a daily basis. If I don't believe in it, why should I follow it. If others don't, why should they be forced to follow laws based on your silly black book written by stone age persons in the middle east 2000+ years ago?


THE BEACONS! THE BEACONS OF MINAS TIRITH ARE LIT!! OP CALLS FOR AID.


Shut up you whiny bitch.


And if she says no,
"Why? It's not like I have AIDS or something!"


So you support his minimization of this and his denial of choice? You say you are pro choice how can you boo this? I know many women who have been raped and none of them support his thinking.


I was thinking the same thing everything always looks gray, is it always overcast or are the pictures always in muted colors or what?


This is all the more reason for social darwinism. Intelligence is genetic, and these criminals will just pass their genes on to another criminal


Last time I tried to buy yellowcake mix, it turned out to be a CIA sting.


And probably going to grow up a thug like the ones who fill Wells Fargo.


>champagne colored

Grandma Gold.


people came here to see the news not read stupid bullshit advice from you like stay safe. fucking moron waste of a post, go fuck yourself asshole GET THE FUCK OFF REDDIT YOUR COMMENTS CONTRIBUTE NOTHING YOUR SHIT FOR BRAINS


Strange, it tastes like Nacho Cheese.


> That's why you don't [get caught] stick[ing] your paintbrush in company paint.

IMHO


    From whips and chains to whips and chains,
    Nas said it first but I forget the verse,
    I may be wrong, funny how 20 years can seem so long.

Any better?


They keep (most of) the good movies on disk so you'll be tempted to get streaming *and* physical copies.


Obviously she shits out her foot, into a sock. Hence the separate hamper.

edit: Thanks for the gold!


Also, a really bad example of morals but a good example of America. In this story, the Marines broke the law by severely injuring this man past the point necessary to protect themselves or others. The cops broke the law by not citing the Marines for a clear abuse of skills they learned in the military, and for assault and battery of a man who was clearly mentally unstable.


What a coincidence. I have also touched your kids.


Good luck with your shitty novelty account, redditor for 2 days.

edit: [relevant](http://i.imgur.com/IzdTl.jpg)


Your cousin should be worried about being a shit parent, not tights.


Its fake. Case closed. Forgery level: Forever Alone redditor.

Funny what you basement dwelling neckbeards come up with sometimes ;D

Get a *life* people!!!!!


Guy on top is Matt Bomer.  An actor playing an art thief working for the FBI


There is no scout in cs:go..


This is the internet. The bar is pretty low.


If she's a girl gamer, she probably doesn't have any boobs


It's even harder to say thick ass-moustache.


For some, it's not their choice.


Upvote for pork burrito. and "curious meat shuttle".


Good job mate. You could have found someone to fly it for you and dominated the entire server for at least a week.

Or you could have learned how to fly offline. ARMA 2, amazingly, has helicopters in it.

Dipshit.


Assault rifles? I prefer to call them homeland defense rifles.


Well, I was just getting tired with all this "in our country games cost more than in yours" every week, so it was a stab at that.
EDIT: Get over it, it is the internet.


As a former Petsmart employee, thank you.


All because of the bailouts... Thanks Obama.
Edit. No one thinks it's funny? Oh well. Everything else is his fault then. Not the corporate vision of the customer is always right. Not the falling price of oil. Oh, and not the earth's speed of revolution around the sun. But everything else, yeah. I'm glad he's listening. He probably thought it was funny.


Ah, so you picked up on the implied alcoholism as well.


Lol it is a dude tho.


Probably not to your neck of the woods.


Ew are you serious? Out of all the chicks to fap to, that?


I DEMAND SATISFACTION!


It was the best part of Mass Effect 2, because it was before any of the stupid crap that WAS Mass Effect 2.


Y'all muthafuckas need Jesus!


That level of autism and dedication can only be one thing...

A *gamer*


SO THEY WERE MADE IN CHINA THEN!!!!

-those students


You un-upvoted your post... I praise you


You obviously don't *excel* at puns. Look for the *word* in italics. That'll change your whole *outlook*.


If Zerg is op where are all the zergs in code s?


I still wonder if the teacher only said that to refrain from looking like a dumbass, or if she genuinely believed it. In either case - FUCK YOU MRS. DONOFRIO!


wtf does that even mean you dumb faggot


The truest, greatest honor he will ever receive. A SW portrait.


Downvote this comment if you like dick in your mouth


Not to be confused with derp wranglers.


you sir, are the winner. may you be showered in upvotes.


I'm Brett and yes, he is my friend who posted it


I am a delight, thanks! I can't believe people still say stupid shit like "butthurt".


Holy shit your dick is bigger than her entire father?


The only way my coffee doesnt get fucked up is when I order it black. Pretty hard for the undeducated tatted up thug behind the bar to fuck that up.


TL;DR
Hollow out strawberries, mix together cream cheese, sugar and vanilla for 2mins, place in bag and pipe into strawberries, refrigerate that shit, enjoy.


He was a career criminal and they were found to have done no wrong.


Under the glass-topped coffee table.


Because there are so many more ways to put it other than, "bunch of monkeys". If you hate to be the one to point it out, shut the fuck up, and dont say anything. Ma always said that if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say it at all.
Edit: If you plan to downvote me, please explain why, so I understand what was wrong with what I said.


The writers strike ruined that show.


Girl does something you don't like or agree with? Probably just attention whoring!  No need to think of her as a human being with flawed thoughts or poor self-esteem.  She's just trying to scam some guy into doting on her.


Sorry but what's with the giant red text? How does this add any value to the conversation? It's big and red and you want it to be read over others. If it has intrinsic value within the argument, it'll be read...no need to go nuts chief.


Well, that got scary fairly quickly.


Since when did PC users care about software quality?


it's not so bad having a queen, liz is the shiz


just send her the maphack they are using and she´s good to go!


scumbag brain:

Renders the most beautiful face and personality that could possibly exist.

Remembers nothing about this person not even what they looked like but remembers the deepest feeling of love.


Came here to say this ^ XD


click, "Damn Brian, we don't have the whole day!"


Hey it's actually pretty damn hard to resist when you have a willing and extremely beautiful woman almost demanding that you take her. It came out of the blue. I couldn't even hesitate because it turned me on so much. Don't talk so big before you've been in my shoes.


Haven't those kids gone through enough, least we can do is get them a full cat.


How meta can we go people?


DUDE. Don't  **EVER**  forget your rubber ducky.


>When my face is at rest, people ask me if I am ~~sad~~ **A FAGGOT**

FTFY OP GOO GAGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Dirty Maggie is a 14.

16 with dirty rice.


Uh what. The United States of America is still at war with Korea.

My God, the Idiocracy.


AMA request: OP's sister.


I'm conflicted on whether I should up or down vote


Does battlefield actually use physics though, or do they do some kind of delayed parabolic rayscan thing? Doing actual physical bullets seems like it'd be intensive, as well as having to have continuous physics so they don't pass through everything.


Meh - seriously Houdini is a bitch. It looks all good and well getting this in a Demo, but give it a shot, their educational version is free. Getting even basic effects to work correctly and expected was significantly harder than I thought. Definitely requires a X factor which doesn't come through in the tutorials, documentation.


Yeah, an hour late here.


If you like movies don't watch it.


A few years ago I realized my Nana smells like brandy.


It worked well for gays to pose as priest, people blamed the church instead of the gay guys. Why not branch out to the school system. The public Employee Unions do one hell of a job protecting their members. No matter what they do>


It's so fucking annoying though because I feel like I need to get angry at something but it's 100% my fault. I can't just shout at a chair.


I don't care if they want to dress up an pretend they are getting "married" but when they ask me or the government to take it seriously...that's where I draw the line.


You two can stop now.


So what? He contributed to the linux kernel. So did thousands of other people. I don't see the big deal.


It takes five to know one.


How about you stand next to them and log onto your account and then they put it on, and you log off and go home a happy boy?


Yours is B-E-A-Utiful, this is pretty interesting!


You really don't understand what I'm saying? Crowding doesn't happen, so you little noobs whining about it don't exist on my server. Find something else to cry about.


Jesus helps everyone. But he is not Jesus.


Flash doesn't always lose, but when he does, it's a leap day. ;)


That was pure poetry.


I will. Then she will laugh as we pay the maid to do it for us as we rip around the walmart on our segways, or perhaps a stolen rascal scooter.


I just realised, he wouldn't need any toilet paper, just one of [these](http://i.imgur.com/SLiBhMK.jpg)


I'm downvoting you because you seemed like a decent guy to downvote, you know?


>sunglasses are your best friend.

This is true. **I fucking love sunglasses.**


We learn through our mistakes, friend.


i hear the bounty's already up to $5k


**I don't get how it's very creative .. are you just stupid or something ? They paid to get a whole page .. They didnt "hack" the little ads to make a bigger ads .....**

**OP is stupid for pretending that.**


Your dick is named Bob the Destroyer?!


Thanks. I usually post there as well but I get no or little reaction :(

Here's one for example

http://www.reddit.com/r/shittyreactiongifs/comments/2vyzkg/mrw_even_my_imaginary_key_chain_friend_tells_me_i/

Edit: I didn't mean I post the same thing there as well.


That must have been one hell of a fucking dress. Right on.


That is the largest open area that I've seen in Hong Kong.


I would love immortality, as long as I retained the ability to cancel it at any time.


2nd to Ovie. Hands down!  Fuck Crosby.


On the other hand, I really hate it when my friend introduces me to someone they know, then leave.
"Oh hey here's a stranger you have nothing in common with, you two will love each other! I'm gonna go to the bathroom for two hours. Have fun!"


I'm asking for sympathy for getting too far into this. I obviously own the decision to cheat. It was my choice.

My wife may or may not deserve better. I don't automatically the worst husband ever because I cheated one time. She doesn't become a martyr because of my actions. You know? She still has her faults. I should not have cheated on her though.


No family can have a "nice innocent game of monopoly". Some bitch will always be a dick and refuse to sell you that third property you've needed since turn 4. Wars have been fought for less.


Answer only yes or no to this question:

Did Chris Smalling think "I'm gonna handball this here", before the incident?


"any love for x?"

FUCK YOU.


haha i'd never murder anybody XD ..and besides, i wouldn't want to dent my car :P


This one time, in Summer Camp... I came


Dude you got 15 people fired...

you do know unemployment is negated when You quit right.

I'd rather clean up some shit than lose my house.


Obama did an AMA, now he's doing an ELI5


I am happy to see this down voted.


Or they just get really quiet and say "Oh, sorry. Bye." and you just know someone is going to have a bad day when they get home.

EDIT: On the opposite end of this I would sometimes get creepy men on the phone that call in and try to get a female on the phone and have them read the movies they ordered. I am talking like 1500.00 worth of porn. Grooooosss...


Yes, tell us details.


HAHA THEY'RE THEIR RIVALS


le me used to even, but then le me took le arrow in le knee! le lol!


lettuce keep this pun thread going


I'm sick of you fuckin retards.  shut up


I've spent my fair share of time on bbs, newsgroups and message boards and I really don't believe arguing with strangers over the internet solves anything.

And also as I said I am in a very awkward time-zone, when I get to it, it's either been semi-resolved or already trolled to death so... yeah.


Well in that case there is absolutely nothing wrong with owning and breeding exotic pets.

/s


>Nurse Roberts: Doug wanted me to give this patient five hundred thousand milligrams of Morphine. I thought I'd check with you before I killed a man.


Even the idea of this outfit is making me cringe. No quicker way to make my vagina turn into the Sahara desert than wearing polos and Sperrys.


jokes on them, my time aint worth shit.


All the downvotes in the world for you.  HE'S IN ODD FUTURE WHICH IS A RAP GROUP: LOITER SQUAD IS THEIR TV SHOW.  OFWGKTA IS YEARS OLDER THAN LOITER SQUAD.  FUCK YOU GOLF WANG.


You're welcome!

You are justified. More does not mean better. It seems now it's more a case of rush to get it on, rather than rush to get it right. There are no Ed Murrows, or Walter Cronkites. There are some very good anchors and I respect those at the three networks, and some of those at the cable networks. I just think we were better served back then.


Ah, the old [reddit switch-a-roo.](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/o4vb6/what_did_i_do_to_deserve_this/)


What in the world? What a piece of shit! Also if I was on a date and I heard my date tell the waitress that I'd be like Im gonna go to the ladies room... But instead id run home and eat pizza to celebrate the fact that I dodged a shitty bullet.


i mean what I said is true, no matter what ya'll say


Well this just went dark...


Oh, no.  I care about this kind of stuff cluttering up the subreddit.  I just wasn't impressed when they also claimed "World First Hard Core Skeleton King," like they achieved something for playing the first 20 minutes of the game.

Now they're level 60.  Whoopity-fuckin'-do.


I'm thoroughly confused, especially since this comment was gilded.


Classes about sexual harassment are about preventing/not doing it.

Classes about science are about learning how to do it.

No innuendo intended, really.


Teacher teacher teacher come lets talk about my grade can I let you C my D for a B or should I F you for an A?


but he did so what do you want me to do


I mean elephants are pretty large but I think you could handle one.


realizing that two fugly ass women carpet munching each other is fucking disgusts /= troll.

GTFO the internet, fucktard.


Well at least you can tell the police his full name and ... oh.


eastern european women usually have a tiny ass.


I love he said "As easy as throwing a ball" and Lars looks insanely uncoordinated doing so.


I just wanted to interject here and tell everyone to look at my name. Yea, more than a year. Do I get upvotes now?


That escalated quickly.


*definitely. I don't even see how you can mix the two up. There's no 'a' in definite. Yes, I know I'm being a grammar nazi but it irks me.


this show is made for emotional pregnant women.


"Who's you're DADDY!"


Have you ever seen a drunk person walk? It's *hilarious*


Yeah, overkill doesn't understand that we should be getting everything for free. Pay them? FOR WORK? Those FOOLS. Their lucky I even like their game. Hmph.


I, too, got the joke.


'western, Judeo-Christian'. 18 BC Rome. OK, we're kinda agreed on that. Rome responded to clerics' pressure to sanction marriage. i didn't know exactly when, but was pretty close.


God loves my local sports team more than yours!


>HE THREW IT ON *TEH* GROUND


Don't be so sure that I didn't simply switch the photos around...


It is a waste of time and a waste of the potential for a good hidden message.

Must be a shitty journalist.


No, I agree with this completely. Public humiliation is one of the only ways to ever get people who cheat on shit like this to change their ways.


agreed. hes a dumb nigga. dont need another one in office after the current man made disaster


This should be airbrushed on a T-shirt back in the '90s.


Notch is like Christianity. I don't mind him. But his followers are annoying as fuck.


>dinosaurs weren't real as they weren't in the bible

What?

>rural Texas.

Ohhh.


The fuck is wrong with me? The fuck is wrong with these brits? Sumatra is a ways away from merry ol' england...


I think It's painfully equivalent to having our cervix hit internally. That has happened to me during sex and it was how I've heard getting kicked in the balls described (extreme sharp pain followed by lasting dull pain and nausea).


Good, camera dude was a scared pussy too. Love to see little bitches get owned when they think they can do whatever the fuck they want.


Trix cereal is still fruit shaped. You can only see the spheres because Trix are for kids. You're an adult.


Serious question here; are you fucking stupid or just trying to pathetically make a joke?


This.  And, sadly, given all the people not realizing how much they might be insulting and offending normal, sane, peaceful Muslims while they're trying to offend the terrorists - it's probably been successful in part.


you're not a cop huh?? well the title specifically asks for COPS OF REDDIT so have a downvote mate.


Protip- hospitals have case managers that will absolutely pay for a cab or bus ride home for patients that have no other way of getting home. Source: I was a case manager.


Legend of Zelda reference? Check.

Not then dressing up as Link instead? Check.

Welcome to r/gaming. Enjoy **le** front page!


It'll actually work very well.  It'll establish yourself as someone "in on the joke" and let this guy know that he's treading upon dangerous waters.

Edit: changed from 'in to "in... I've been called a pedant.


I never said fighting dirty was acceptable. If you read what I wrote I said accusing someone of abuse is desperate - a last resort.


I think you're now instantly friends with 95% of reddit


Is Obama campaigning on "change" like he did 4 years ago?  What have you changed Mr. Obama?  Oh you've dramatically increased spending even more than bush did.


> paper children first became popular in Japan and Korea

There's a huge fucking surprise.


That's all good and well, but we don't need Cloud running around in the Warcraft universe with his Buster Sword.

Edit: LLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLL cry more, kiddies.


That *was* the Christmas card.


the people who downvoted this need to be murdered by /r/guns


My wife is pretty awesome. She actually pointed the topless girl out to me. I didn't see her at all.


If calling someone out for libeling a group of senators makes me a prick, then fine. [Here's what treason is, according to the US code](https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/2381). Does that sound at all like what they did? Do a little research before you go throwing around terms like "treason," because I guarantee it isn't what you think it is.


Actually, she just blew him whilst they stood atop an unconscious ten-year-old.


nah, just seeing if i commented some dumb mindless comment and see if it would actually get upvoted


"You just don't beat me enough, and I need that."


Why is this crap getting upvoted? No to funny if you ask me.

Yeah I said it.

Crap like this pollutes reddit. I am guessing by the "artist's" comic skills he did not a get a second date with this girl. (Assuming she actually exists.)

He would be better off hitting them gym rather than playing around on his computer.

Thank you.


This is [porn](http://i.imgur.com/cJlpU.gif). It's a real variety of sexiness.


Learn how to spell you twat. Find a dictionary and look for the correct spelling of the word "ya". I hate this Reddit website and I demand fags like you stay away from Digg because I'm going back


its going to be ok lil nigga you can do it


Oh my god... are you an idiot?!

Your logic: "What about sharing wives? If you share data with me then you must share your wife too!! I'm gonna fuck her for you! lolllol!!! Oh and I took your car and your tv... this sharing thing is cool!!"

Or: "Oh you think freedom is cool? Then why don't you let all the criminals be free? Hypocrite! LOLOLOL!!"


I was hoping a Canadian would fess up lol


Hey, it's not a repost, is it?
Insofar as I know.


The original idea was from the [Hussein Chalayan](http://31.media.tumblr.com/204132cbb7eaa1aae44dd66e0775a655/tumblr_mizzuiteZT1s1szpho1_500.gif) runway back in 2013.


also ya sure maybe i misunderstood it but ~grammar~


Did you get two weeks credit on future transgressions?


Right now, players in Europe/Canada/Australia are paying less than the US.


Except when she puts the baby back.


YOu and every other kid that allows this kinda shit need to learn how to take an ass whooping. Seriously. It will take many beat downs,but you will get better at defending yourself,they will get tired of you not being easy prey AND your respect level in your eyes,and everyone elses will go up.


“Look at that shameless couple, buying a fuck pit in public like that...”


So you're saying there aren't a large number of autistic individuals perusing r/games?


I'm glad the tacos worked out though


Unfortunately, there are a lot of women out there who do this shit. Go to any bar and you'll see women teasing guys for free drinks with no intentions of being generous in their own way back. Act just flirty enough to get free shit, then ignore you, finish their drink, and go try it on some other dude until they are hammered and call their ex-boyfriend or booty call to pick them up.


I still fapped to it.


ooooooooh, I'm sure you will be missed. I'm sure Dragon is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO very grateful for your whining like a 8itch.
Katu did nothing wrong. Dragon did nothing wrong. The only people who did anything wrong are all you whining twits, trying to ruin a great cast.


some guy ran up to my wife and punched her in the stomach, when she fell down he kicked her in the chest and ran off and closelined another woman crossing the street while he ran.  Turned out when the cops caught him he was on meth.

Fuck. Meth.


I'd like for it to be explained too. It's just hard to grasp the concept. How does one achieve an erection when you are in that kind of state of mind?


You take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato...baby, you got a stew goin'!

Edit: Syntax, baby.


Fake yelling, frustration and cussing are funny to you? Okay then.

He's trying WAY too hard to be as vulgar as possible and it doesn't really come off as real or natural so it's just not that amusing.


Then you get hired, and two months later the following conversation happens:

Boss: "Hey, so what did we hire you for?"

Me: "Front End HTML/JavaScript/AngularJS."

Boss: "Ok, well we are pivoting, and have decided to switch to Flash, how is your Flash?"

Me: "Non existent"

Boss: "Ok, we're going to need you to learn it".


I should probably quit giving them posts to downvote then...


He didn't have the balls to catch it.


Wow an Airplane! quote? It'll be hard to downvote but I must.


35 millimeters of water depth.


I am not going to make a witty comment.


Can vouch, life might play out this way for you too!


Seriously? I put a lot of time into this. It comes up every couple of weeks that /r/design needs a new subreddit design.


"But sir, what if a gunfight breaks out and somebody racks up some serious score streaks?"

"Hmm excellent point Johnson. Load the kennels before we depart!"


I said name 4 and you named 5.  Whether or not your answers were correct is irrelevant because of the fact you didn't follow simple instructions.  It's great you know about cheese but that doesn't mean a single thing if you can't even follow the exam instructions properly.


Here ya go.

http://i.imgur.com/Gy6inD8.jpg


Are those two the brainwashed "Prussian Blue" girls? I always wondered what happened to them.


Kanye sends his regards


**INDIA??  FUCK INDIA.  INDIA IS FUCKING IRRELEVANT.  YOU SHOULD BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT AMERICAS CANCEROUS LIBERAL MEDIA THAT HAS SPREAD TO OTHER COUNTRIES LIKE CANADA, MEXICO AND FRANCE.  IF I CARED WHAT A BROWNIE THINKS, I'D GO TO A FUCKING BAKERY FOR A SIT DOWN INTERVIEW.**


I'm starting to think that he might be a master troll.


Well then, please point it out to me for I must have missed it.


I always found Australian accents to be really flamboyant, even on manly men. Not unattractive, but not sexy either. More kind of outlandish and goofy.


I'll put up a [FIXED] version in a few minutes (-:

**OP, your original post sucks. Everyone come over to my post. Don't forget your upvotes :-))))**

Edit: Ok, it's up! [Link](http://www.reddit.com/r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu/comments/p7e6t/from_a_cats_point_of_view_fixed/)

*Thanks for the upvotes guys* It is 95% my work anyways! (-:


Who said it was a baby?


Putting the dealership out of business because one dumb manager fucked up is a bit too much.


"MY NAME'S...NOT...RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK"


How about you actually explain how you steal someone's identity with their address and license #?  There are plenty of things I have signed up for that ask for a copy of my ID. Until you can give me some explanation other than "they totally can!" I'm not inclined to believe you.


"I've been expecting you."


lmoa, why do people even pretend like they like to read? you think it makes you seem soooo smart but no one even thinks that? i tried to read this boo called kiss the Girls and it was as boring as fuck. but to be honest those LORT movies are boring as fuck anyway so its prolly the same or worse. ecept for Gollem, he was cool but you can just watch his stuff on youTube.


>Or unless he knew he would get his job back because UK top gear is literally the most watched show ~~on the planet.~~*... in the world.*

FTFY.


Just go fuck yourself. End of story.


and nothing of value was lost


So the problem was he was a little prick.


Man, that's too bad. I like watching fights, but I feel bummed for the guys when they get those types of serious injuries. Unless it's Anderson, 'cause fuck that guy. Nice to see Chris back though. Hope he makes it all the way.


no [THIS](http://i.imgur.com/Dzttr.jpg) is a risky click.


*"It has to be so pretty that you just* **have** *to eat it."*

I think you got it. You got it right. Garlic, dark chocolate, whateverthefuck, you gotta be a swine. A shameless shit. Wallowing in your, and those who delight in such filthy pleasures-'s filth. Go on.


I was not seriously injured.  I've faced knives and guns and of course fists.  I've had to physically fight upon occasion, but that is not my first resort.  I did not carry any weapons to my interviews.  On one occasion, it was only one Klansman who attacked me.  On another, it was 3 of them.  I won, both physically on the street and legally in court.


Actually I wouldn't either. If a company was debarred from the career fair at my campus I would too say that "They were banned from our campus". Of course, the company is free to recruit from the university, it would be illegal to *ban* them completely.

Was fox news disingenuous in reporting it that way? Of course. But I don't think they lied either i.e. stated something factually incorrect.


YAP, but AMD fanboys are pure poison and well inside the fanaticism.


I only hope that in an attempt to seem more western and hip those Japanese exchange students all began punching each other in the dick.


"Couldn't break the first team for us."

Yeah.  Because if he did, he wouldn't have been sold to Sheffield Wednesday....


And that's the point you don't know whether to be scared, or offended.


And then there's Chuck Norris... ∞² hours per day.


at least they gave us an ironic T-shirt to wear at parties 10 years in the future!


Drake the type of nigga to touch himself while watching gay porn


Too late to explore the Earth...


It's not as good as you remember it to be.


You'd know a lot about that, Bill Cosby.


I agree, but I have found few people who are capable of drinking moderately and not becoming obnoxious.


Greetings from Victoria, Australia.  Glad you could drop by.


Oh yea, I really give a fuck about karma. Can't you tell by how I run around and blurt out the most politically correct things I can think of?


Yeap, I've been told. But initially I was so confused. I just thought they could easily go on their way like girls but I was sadly mistaken.


What does a "clean" sport mean though?  Is an older fighter being on doctor-prescribed HRT cheating?  Cortisone shots?  OTC supplements?  Where is the line?


Every woman out there who had acne reading this is like "shit we actually tricked them!"


Confirmed, not assumed.


I think you mean:
1. Start Up
2. Cash In
3. Sell Out
4. Bro Down


It kind of is a big deal


Very. Important. Distinction.


We can do IAmA request for fictitious people? Sweet, I want Shakespeare


You forgot to carry the infinity


My question is, why would anyone be having sex with their teacher?


Everything was awesome until you very lazily killed everyone off...

I DEMAND A RETRY


you're chubby tho, you should smoke and/or eat less.

come to france.

may the force be with you.


Figure out what was wrong with his math, and make a new date to fit his crazy.


No one finds your cankles and thunder thighs attractive bro.


To most Americans you are just "European Mexico".


activist judges attempt to make law, by interpreting existing law in a way that distorts the original intent. the constitution was never meant to enable islamic fascists to freely plot the murder of american citizens. check the bill of rights, see if you can find "the right to kill americans in the name if islam." good luck.


*fuck your fucking sig figs and fuck them all to hell because I don't care if I answer a physics question with 20 decimal places when the original numbers in the problem were all 1 digit whole numbers*.

Sorry. Had to get it out at some point.


Is this couple called sweden? I googled them and couldn't find anything. Howcome everyone knows?


"What are you going to do, stab me?"


Incorrect. It was inspired by Fallout, and was done by a fan.


The Claw chooses who will go and who will stay.

edit: oh hey it's my cake day


Thank you for the gold star. =)


No I can't blame them, because they ate my fucking head and I'm dead.


Lol you didn't notice it he first time so you pretend saying whoosh somehow negates the fact that *you* were the one who missed the point.


\*raises hand\* Me. I suck at initiating. As I really don't have much of a life, I just always assume everyone else is busy doing something interesting.

Edit: I had no idea saying such a small thing would garner so much agreement and attention. Wow.


Pretty hostile for no reason there buddy. Besides, you have a Teemo flair....no one cares.


This Buddha guy sounds great, he must get a lot of karma...


If you replaced every instance of "gypsies" in your story with "black people" (especially how you ended your story with "fuckin gypsies"), would you call that racism?


Holy shit. Whatabitch.


She sounds nice. Going to America seems to have worked out for the best though.


Shhhhh we don't want everyone to know.  We are keeping it Lo-ki.


CCCCCCcombo Breaker!!!


Forgot to mention I am now sterile. Hence why it's not funny...


The good news is, for those of us with just a passing interest in trains, Railworks is on the pirate bay.


Cuz they had rounds in the mag.


yes, but they are still sacred animals, much like the cow whom they treat with great reverence.


During World War II thousands of Filipinos fought in the US military and were supposed to get the same benefits as US-born soldiers. After the war, Congress said "sorry guys, we changed our minds about that" and they got no benefits.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rescission_Act_of_1946


How about you unsubscribe?


Or when Monica finally says his full job title after he had changed careers to advertising.

"I quit my job and you learn what I do?"


No you didn't.  There is no asterisk besides your name.


No, my company went bankrupt in 2009, but my division got purchased, so I got my salary nothing additional


Do edgy comments like these actually make you feel good about yourself? It's embarrassing reading then. They are obviously just a pathetic attempt for karma and add nothing useful to the discussion.


Try smacking her on the nose with a newspaper.


Lucky you, I was waiting for someone to reply so I could link that.


~dawning realization~ I've always /hated/ sweaters. It was too easy to get over-heated and sweaty. I was double-sweatering.

Hello world of sweaters, parkas, and long underwear.


O...k...? That's nice.


I've heard your mom is the one who is really inbedable.


yeah because kanye has never created great music or won grammies before


Growing up with penis-sized nipples must have been stressful.


dropped the bomb.. I see what you did there


Little known fact, but Redeye is actually a satirical news/talk show, kind of like a conservative Daily Show.


Hopefully this is the year where he quits altogether and people stop worshiping him as some sort of salt god.


Young man (seeing Churchill leaving the bathroom without washing his hands): At Eton they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet.
Churchill: At Harrow they taught us not to piss on our hands.


Ahhh. I was going through his comment history and got that impression, but didn't notice te hyperlink.  Well, new account to auto downvote.


IT FEEEELS LAAAAAAAHK AAAAAAAAAAAHM JUST TOOOOOOO CLOSE TO LOOOOOOOOOORRRRVE YOUUUUU

WUBWUBWUUBWUB WUBWUBWUB WUUUUUUUUUB


Who cares if the story is made up or not, it's WTF material. Shut up and deal with it.


You fucking asshole, that's not what I said one bit. A direct quote from the NASA page
>The above image is actually a three photograph panorama digitally processed to reduce red reflections from the exploding firework.

So yeah, it's digitally stitched together. Fake, in other words. Fuck you, do some research next time.


Why? !Putin was the only character that came off as competent in that entire season. He did what he had to to advance his agenda, and utterly destroyed the only two people that could stop him.


I've lived in places like that.  I'd be pissed as hell if someone took my spot.  I never reserved an extra spot, though.

If he has enough discretionary cash to reserve an extra spot, more power to him.


...or a radioactive foot.


Asking is a synonym for demanding, really. I see it all the time too, it's just clearly riddled with ulterior motive.


I'll see what I can do


Hey, you can't post the truth! That's all the damn russians fault! /s


That is all Battlefront is supposed to be.


I didn't say you're going to change your mind and have lots of kids.  Don't get offended.  You may indeed never want to have kids.  To each their own.  I'm saying nothing in life is certain.  I don't think that's a ridiculous statement.


Which is funny, because a lot of straight people think bisexual people are gay people that don't want to admit they are gay.
Bisexuality is a double-edged sword.


Looks like he got what was comin to him - pig.


Yeah I was overreacting yesterday, sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything.

There are just too many girls these days literally whoring themselves to the camera and it makes me sick. It was wrong of me to assume you were one of these girls, please forgive me.


As a guy who works in a frozen bakery you haven't seen shit son, ive been knocked unconscious by frozen bread cut myself so bad i was bleeding from 3 places on my hand, and thats not even the worst at least 2 people a year lose part of their fingers... frozen baguettes are dangerous people


Try reading all the comments first before you spout off.


http://i.imgur.com/LUVYX.jpg

What hath science done? ಥ_ಥ


give me karma fuckers!!!!!!!!


Were you on a date? Why not get 2 pieces??


if you want software to be perfect pay for it, don't just whine about security flaws being unacceptable in this *free* software.

this is why things like linux will never become mainstream


I'm sure that the one guy does have 40 reddit accounts though!


Haha :-) you wish :-) personal consumption only :P


I dunno if you've figured it out by now, but it's in her poop chute.


great now i can't stop seeing the OP as male

great all i can think f now is a dude sticking a birth control pill up his dick to stop himself from making babies


I spontaneously run just to screw with people. Because that's how irrational I am. Like an irrational number.


The entire COD series has terrible linear gameplay and shit graphics. I hope you enjoy getting **downvoted** for glorifying this shitty game and going against the circlejerk. BF3 all the way **upvote if you agree :-)**

Furthermore, there is no real one... they've both been photoshopped to hell (-:

Lastly, OP, nobody here believes that you are in Afghanistan :-P


I saw *Tabula Rasa* for sale a week ago, Tabula Rasa is an MMO that was shut down.... **3 YEARS AGO**


Comment of the year.

Well played.


One of the replies Sky got from a mentioned streamer was.... interesting.

https://www.facebook.com/GregSkyWilliams/photos/a.149671215158257.10584.136463196479059/353585254766851/?type=1&theater


Im not adding anything with this comment. Just riding the karma train.

*Edit: I miscalculated. But Im going down with this ship; give me your worst.*


College Bee

*Does Anything*

*Dies*


Came in to post this.  Is top comment.  I am both pleased and disappointed.


When you are at war you don't have PTSD.  There is nothing POST about in the trauma you are in when you have to go out again the next day.

You have Acute Trauma.  And that sounds as bad as it is.


I can't upboat you enough.


my mom did this with my lab. He came back years later, just walked up to me in the driveway. She said it wasn't him. ಠ_ಠ


>  they're dominated by men.

Yes, I'm sure they're *dominated* by men. The men there so aggressively apply and shake their man sticks to intimidate any women looking to apply.


Remember when they showed cool stuff on The Learning Channel?


I have no money, but this deserves some Gold!


Living life on the edge. Thinking you know everything about everything, but it might all be trolling.


How exactly does calling your neighbor an ignorant douchebag while identifying yourself as a church-going Christian fit with your concept of how Jesus expects his followers to treat other people?


Not sure if cheating, or...


Not everyone is out to abduct or rape your kids


I lost it when he told Carol she looked ridiculous. They know each other so well that it seems like a joke.

That's the Valkyrie that smeared her self with walker oil and laid waste to a fortified slaughter house.

Blue fucking blouse


you must have an engrish degree - hurr


Maybe you should have, that's goddamned hilarious.

And Just FYI, I'm tagging you "ask to see her muff" so allow me to apologize ahead of time for what will surely be a poor choice I make several months from now.


That would be the point.


I'm kinda curious why so many fathers are just openly running around naked in front of their non-infant children.  Heh.


I hope you were being sarcastic there, trying to summarize those debates. If not, then try becoming more open-minded and tolerant to people with views different from yours.


Oh, right. North Dakota.


Are you saying that it's a victims fault for being raped?


Hey,

I'm not American but I wanted to say you have my utmost respect for not only serving your country but protecting your family.


See my previous reply to you.


Don't try to pass your MALK off on me.


He wasn't a war hero, he doesn't need to be honoured, its a sad death not a heroic one.


Shit that probably made him motivated to live another 5 years.


I hope you're one of the few that die of a rare trans-species flu.


Wow. This will change my life forever!


Wait, this wasn't known? Although, despite the no "." it's still "doctor". He's just trying to get you to sound dumb. Wow, I hope it doesn't work.......


One time he got the two positive sides of the magnet to touch each other until he let go and it sprung up a little bit.


Damn you. Sigh, "Came Here To Say This"(TM)


Basically, we're both depressed, so it wasn't super shocking, but I think he was just kind of taken aback that someone knows him well enough to realize something was wrong, and cared enough to freak out over it.  I let him know how much he matters.  And told him I would help him find help, or be there when/if he needed it.


Except for Windwaker and anything that looks like it. Thanks for the downvotes, folks.


The files are *in* the computer!


Vote out all the commie progressive jew scum.


It's OK, everyone makes mistakes. Thanks for sharing.


Id say Amen Hen was a Siege


This is you: http://i.imgur.com/p6ZFO.png


I can imagine tire damage, but I am skeptical that it will result in a flat spot.


hahaha people who go to reddit.com don't have sex hahahahaha good joke man A+


I was wondering the same!


Was pantsed during a fire drill in 7th grade. Had period. Was wearing a nice thick pad. With wings to secure it to my underwear.


Fuck that sub

EDIT: And fuck all of you. You're just making the world a worse place and if you're so self-indulgent in your hatred to actually think that you're helping anybody you are so god damn deluded it's actually offensive; not even because of your beliefs, but because it's possible for someone to be that fucking dumb. I'll take HAES over you nazi-esque fuckheads any day of the week.


Money

EDIT: Lay off Thor please


none its the 10th now.


The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.


He picked Sabotage in Arena. I seriously doubt he got two worse cards than that in his draw.


It started out as Twilight fanfiction. That's why it's so shitty.


It's Smash Bros. - not a real fighting game. If by "training" you mean "mashing buttons," sure, I guess...


One of us, one of us...


Hey, fuckwad. There is a definite difference between laughing at retards and a visible penis. Just trying to help differentiate for those brave enough to wander around these areas while getting paid. I lol'd nonetheless.


Is your husbands account name City_Boy? Because that would be the best.


I just gave them a $1,001 donation! Where's my karma?


No no, Joseph Kony is that guy from Pulp Fiction

This is is Nelson Mandela

Edit: Hence the suit

Editedit: Grammar


1  English

2 English

3 English

4 English

Should I continue?


"You can go out with your boys tonight".. Ok I will then. "I can't believe you would do that. Do I mean nothing to you?" Umm what just happened?


C-c-c-c-combo breaker?
Edit: Never been so happy to receive downvotes. :')


*We'll settle that in court!*


Ok, seriously this gets bought up every time Usain Bolt is mentioned. We get it, we were on Reddit that day too.


At first read, my initial thought was: Novia Scotia only has 2 towns?


How do you check? I can't even find where I enter my own information so I know I wouldn't show up on any searches..


*zips up pants* well sorry.


Nope, sent to me like that. I just posted it


Fortunately, OP is seemingly very open about fetishes


I don't really care if it is an act. The punchline is almost never him, the punchline is "women are dumb" far too often for my taste.

Just amazing to me that this is fine, and popular.


TIL If a scientists asks me how old my dog is don't say I don't know


Are you not entertained??

Edit: Watched it. Not entertaining. Back to karma mining.


Ooh, what a cinematic experience those 4 frames are providing! ^^^/s


That was the last thread stalker like 4 hours ago. We are talking about this one. Pay attention.


No one understands it. It's exotic, gets the people going.


Remember that time he couldn't guard a 50 year old MJ? Not that shameful but still worth bringing up if he's going to make a call like that.


The chimp is clearly pointing to the cracker on the ground.  Watch the video again.  The only depressing thing about this thread are the amount of humans conjuring up their own interpretation of the chimps signs.


Stay classy males who think they are better then women/hate feminists for no reason. - a male


What the fuck why would you google that


did you miss the part where Hermiony  had a very successful career at the ministry?


I believe you have been playing civ 5.


For sure! I guess that I kind of deserve them. Too bad nobody picked up on my stealthy I, Robot reference! If I could take back the comment that started this all, I would.

EDIT: for Misspelling one of my favorite movie titles, and to say sorry for coming across like a bad human being.


Hey, give me a break.

I'm not allowed within a mile of a school.


Give him some credit for owning up.


"Honey, play Flight of the Bumblebee for me"

"But sweetheart, I don't have my harmonica on me."

"I know..."

*Slowly pushes his head down*


And yet the voting always seems to go the other way. Fuck all comments but lots of downvotes.

I wonder why?

http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2011/mar/17/us-spy-operation-social-networks


The whole point of going there was to be raped. Just not by any suicidal hookers or drug dealers.


LOL!! Upvote Upvote!!


i don't know why this is so funny to me. i can't stop cracking up at how dumb it is


>Next, reddit usernames will be personal info, and we'll never be able to talk about anyone ever.

Sounds good to me


Well at least he doesn't stink!


Lol. There's a lot of these going around lately. Popular thread eh?


Nope pretty sure they never made another Quake after III, except Quake Live of course. Definitely didn't make a Quake 4. Nope, no sir.


Holy shit. We do.

What now?


It's sadder becuase she was pretty :(


You were really, really fantastic in A New York Minute.


Well, I guess you do have the right to support and fuel degraded and destructive behavior for women. The question is, why would you?


Im sorry but thats fucking hilarious. Imagine being the cat. *"First I got wet. I hate the wet. Its cold and moist. Then the kid got me and tried to put me in the cooking box. I didn't want to be cooked so I started freaking out. Then, the freaky thing... a cat popped out of me. I didn't know I was pregnant. Oh well. Just another Tuesday..."*


Its called strategy. There was a reason you could only use em once, so you would pick the best use for them. An rpg is no fun if they just GIVE you everything.


Wait, was that your ass on the bike?


Not all black people are niggers, but that guy was.

Look at all the downvotes! Guess my opinion wan't popular. OK, fine. All black people *are* niggers! You brought it on yourselves, people.


What's green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table


Well I'd be fucking pissed about this too but man up a grow a pair.


No reply. I'm so sad now.


His save % is terrible considering hes got 8 shutouts.  And its been garbage in 2015 up until these 2 shutouts.  Hes been crashing back down to his .910-.915 level.  Shutouts be damned, hes still not doing good.


He would recast his wife with Matt Damon.


why could you know ? haha


I would like to "raise" my self to volunteer.


You [make a]  poignant point, demonstrating the very mentality of which OP was attempting to shed light. My hat off to you, Sir.

Edit: we're sinking! Get to the boats, damn the Woman and Children!


This pasty white redditor who grew up in an all white suburb but then lived in iffy urban neighborhoods and then a suburban apartment complex with a lot of Section 8 housing for several years can tell you he's pretty much correct.


I couldn't remember which branch of the military, sue me.


AWW YEAH, SCISSOR ME TIMBERS


Blog about it and how much of a better coder they are

This game shouldn't need a high end rig to get 30 FPS on high

Please spend some time improveing proformince for the next patch notch - i now cant play on my laptops - used too beabke to but now i get 3 fps


As someone with a lisp, fuck the word lisp.

Edit: Fuck you all.


Must not have very good friends


As a Louisianian, fuck Texas.


shush child, let the adults talk now


Through a mutual friend. I was doing improv and Ryan was doing stand-up, wanting to do improv. We hit it off right away.


I'd rather be dead than walk around like that. most people would.


No man, the title gets better. You just have to wait for it.


Lol upvote for the cumbox call out.


My mom grumbled at having to buy the mandatory 200 pages ruled paper, 12 pencils, etc, and if I broke those pencils so help me god I was *fucked* for the entire year.


Yeah, that should be removed too.

mods don't really have to explain themselves and I'm not a mod of wtf.


Does your friend happen to be a goat?


Hey asshole, do you have numbers for the other racist reports of terrorism from August 2011? No? Then your stupid uneducated opinion is invalid.


I'm a lawyering pirate who copies lefts on vacation.


I was just trying to humour things up a little. This is a really depressing thread.


I already lost you Stacey, two months ago when we broke up. That's what breaking up is!


TIL People with a normal weight are considered thin.


That's because it is speaking a different language, excluding the other from the conversation.


How about you go fuck yourself. I do know a guy.... Don't question my honesty


You're the first landlord I've seen in this thread who has actually taken the renters side. You sound like a cool guy to rent from.


Don't do physically addictive drugs that can kill you. FTFY.


I took it as a complaint that there was no more Comic Sans. Like, they were out of Comic Sans.

^^Sans ^^Comic ^^Sans.


precisely. the brits use reasonable suspicion (warrentless monitoring) and they saved hundreds if not thousands of lives. it works. waiting for terrorists to kill people before you check their cell phone calls is inefficient at best, deadly at worst.


Doesn't matter; Had sex


hahahahah!!!!! the best! laughed out loud thanks!


I predicate that it will grow lackluster quickly.


That's just silly, America isn't a country.


Maybe you were wrong. Maybe the kid had family who died in the Rwandan Genocide and you just reminded him of it. Dick.


Yeah, we got the joke


I like chocolate without raisins


You get disgusted too easily.  Sack up.


That is the most selfless answer I can imagine to that question. I want to be like you when I grow up.


Reddit is an American website? Hahahahaahahahahahaa I'm not even going to argue with you any more, although I kind of want to because you perfectly embody the exact stereotype I was complaining about. Also your last comment doesn't actually include anything to refute my claim, you just wharrgarbl a bit.


As opposed to in toilet?


Happily married, 3-4 times a week (3/4 weeks of the month), together for six years, and we're both on Reddit.

Not to brag or anything.

edit: downvoted to oblivion.  are NONE of you happily married/with someone???


That made me laugh...then made me sad.  Well done.


I upvoted you because i hope you are being sarcastic. Seriously, he is a politician politikin! just an empty suit tryin to score points by relating to the "common man". His act is tired and unwelcome. I'm counting down the days for real leadership.


Five are in a dark black and five are in a slightly darker black.


Yea, girls.

Edit: Downvotes have spoken, apparently OP is a faggot.


>but I know how far she got when she blew me.

All 3"?


And EU got their puppet leader instead of him 😜


No kidding.  There's no way organic blueberries are selling $2 a bundle.


OMG zeekar tagged me?!?  A fate worse than death!  How will I ever show my face on the internets again!?!


dude kendrick literally tells you the meaning of the caterpillar and butterfly at the end of the song you don't need higher education to connect the dots


would anyone want to sleep with her in the first place though?


>The ability to spontaneously explode into blood and guts and then regenerate. So, like, someone pushes me out of the way, and I just fall over a bit then SPLAT, blood and guts everywhere. Reform a bit later, successfully traumatize everyone.


The ones where you can exchange money for an advantage.


I'm so fucking sick of that guy


But not yours?

Fuck off, faggot, you're not funny.

~ Signed, all of reddit.


Black person here. I am:
Denzel Washington
Jamie Foxx
Morgan Freeman
Etc.


Really think rape applies here? Many would say fondling a woman while she sleeps could be rape. They had boundaries set up and he stepped over them, which absolutely needs to be addressed. Rape is a crime. I don't think what is going on here is criminal.


A blonde walks into a Jew...


Yeah, thanks for taking part in the mass slaughter and deconstruction of an already demoralized and impoverished nation.


>But I threw caution into the wind

I hope you did that on purpose.


Yet it's more reliable than fox news.


Now *these* are what I call open condom style.


I am the 1%

Edit: I don't wanna be that asshole that gets hyped on his upvotes but i just noticed it's my cakeday AND that my comment hit it bigtime at the same time. So thanks yall, and special thanks to _spranger_ for the setup.


Not even clever. 60 upvotes.

{sigh} Reddit, you.


Better than his sister....that happened in my high school, 21 yr old senior with 19 yr old sophomore.


I've never seen your clan win anything. Am I just missing them all?


Their conversations are hilarious.


Dammit. I came to post this. I guess I'm not very original. :(

Wow 54 down votes. Looks like 53 of you arent very original either.


I'm going to make it so dry.


have you not read my post on that thread (although the mods did delete it for about 30 minutes there), he didn't keep his side of the deal


Did anyone else find this kind of adorable?


and you're conveniently forgetting about the other 90% of his comment. live the way you want to live, but don't bullshit people with that self-righteous stuff man.


>they had had sex twice and no more.

I shall hold onto this illusion until the day I die. My parents have only ever had sex three times. The first time they got my sister and I, the second time they got my brother, and the third time they got my other brother. THATS IT.


Yea, but it's a "steal" for them. GW2 isn't worth paying for.


I'm no Sir Isaac Newton, but I've managed to not kill myself for decades now and even I wanted to chug that orange stuff before I realized what it was.


I'm sorry if I turned my back for a moment and some retarded cat jumped in the dryer, that cat has nobody but itself to blame and I sure as hell wouldn't pay for its vet.


I've accepted that I will never be as manly as him.


> tl;dr - /r/MensRights is a new advocacy group, and as such there are lots of misconceptions and lies being told about the group's stance.

Then why has /r/MensRights been named as a hate site by the Southern Poverty Law Center? Link [here](http://www.splcenter.org/get-informed/intelligence-report/browse-all-issues/2012/spring/misogyny-the-sites)


Wow thank you so much. I really don't know what else to say we are walking past the art gallery now and should be there soon... Duck me I was not expecting that


After reading that sentence, unneeded comma, my opinion adjective, adjective, contradiction and confusion.
I do not understand.


I guess you were...saved by the belt.


holy shit. not dissing but doesnt this site seem really immature for a 55 year old. I mean, im 17 and i think this is a great site but i couldnt see myself still laughing at this stuff 30-40 yrs from now


Yeah, thieves suck, but they shouldn't have to put their hand down 3 times.


He probably doesn't make bullets, he reloads cartridges, but okay.

Tits?


You actually use G+? Impressive.


I completely agree with you. And I am shocked that other people down vote your comment. The post is porn and shouldn't be on reddit. For those of you who down voted artied's comment: you can go and entertain yourself on the millions of porn sites on the net. Reddit is not meant for this kind of crap.


Goddam you, shoe. Just make that noise rubbing against the couch again so that she won't think I farted.


Say hello to antisrs (the totally not a downvote brigade) for me.


It will get you laid meow.


is he possibly mentally disabled?


>visa details which I don't understand

Too bad you don't know anyone familiar with German laws

edit: formatting


This is true, but the force does not "grow" just because it propels the bullet longer. It merely helps guide the bullet through the barrel.


Then he will bang in the shade


You're a piece of shit. That's all I have to say.
But it takes guts (idiocy) to admit to crime on the internet.


Or tourists are generally more likely to put out


I'll probably get downvoted into oblivion for this one, but I'm going to have to agree with Romney here.  Planned Parenthood is responsible for the Modern Holocaust--the wholesale slaughter of unborn children on an unprecedented scale.  They are no better than Hitler and Eichmann.

Bravo, Mitt.  Let's get rid of Planned Parenthood.


Yes. Especially after the basilisk....


>Sometimes Texas gets it right when you're white, heterosexual, and christian.

FTFY.


Next time my quadriplegic uncle comes over to eat, I know where we're getting our dinner! My uncle will be glad to taste the foods of his people.


All aboard the karma train!


The store manager said since she had a receipt, we had to honor the refund. Ridiculous, but that was technically company policy.


Pretty sure they'd all bolt the second the engine turned on.


>fell all the way in

Biggest cringe ever.


It doesn't make you evil, it makes you an ignorant piece of shit.


Are you sure he didn't slip a roofie into the drink then mix them up?


Are you serious? Do you even know the rules about freekicks.