The tracks are from the truck that installed the sign.  The sign was pounded in the ground from a worker in the bed of the truck.  If you look closely you can see where the truck stopped momentarily for the worker to pound the sign into the ground.


I'LL START!  DOWNVOTES OWN POST!

HERE, FOR THOSE OF YOU HAVING TROUBLE DOWNVOTING MY ALL-CAPS REPLY:
-JESUS AND MOHAMMAD WERE GAY LOVERS AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME YOU'RE GOING TO HELL
-FF7 SUCKED
-REDDIT JUST COPIES ALL THE STUFF FROM FACEBOOK
-I HATE CATS


Clearly just a coping mechanism for your lack of success.

EDIT: I have now learned that /s is necessary on reddit.


And I don't mean "take advantage" in any sort of rapey way.


Ya know, you'd probably have like 3 less downvotes if you spelled "you're" correctly. Just sayin.

Edit: It was a joke. And obviously a very bad one. Thanks for putting me in my place reddit.. you never fail.


If one lightbulb goes missing nobody bats an eye, but if several go missing then people get suspicious


"/r/soccer is a secret club!!11 we r 2 good for memes XD"


It deletes the recording when you're the one at fault.


Nothing, why even mention that player?

Wow, people get so angry over irrellevant stuff like people mentioning a player which has no relevance to the topic what so ever, and the voting system on reddit is meant to be relevance over opinion, typical redditards.


Nope. The top layer is acrylic paint mixed with some grit, which is sprayed on asphalt or concrete. When the top layer doesn't bond, this happens.

*edit - wooooooosh*


So you are implying that she instead should have written "Just got raped!" on her twitter instead?


You flew into Philly International and decided to leave the state of Pennsylvania to stay the night in what is consistently ranked as one of the most dangerous cities in the US. I think you need a new travel agent.


Read the question one more time and see if your answer made sense.


Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.


When did Reddit become Fox news?  Was he accusing you of stealing a fucking backpack?  Seriously... military surplus... relax guys its not STOLEN HONOR!!!


haha, no. But definitely Dead Kennedys' Polic Truck and California Uber Alles


I know it's hard to believe original content, but me and my friend were eating at a coffee place, casually talking about our favorite star wars movie, and we mentioned how Jango was so much cooler than Boba Fett, and it all just came to me at once, we laughed for a good hour. HAD to post this. The world needs to know.


The best revenge is to live well.


I weigh 130 eat my asshole, i just dont like your negitive circlejerk, now go interact with real people you loser, instead of making fun of strangers get a fucking life


Like some trained professional is gonna know better than me? I'll have you know I've read ARTICLES. On WEBSITES.


UPVOTE FOR HELPING THE MILITARY TEST BOMBS THAT HAVE AND WILL KILL INNOCENT HUMANS AND DAMAGE OUR BEAUTIFUL PLANET! Thank you for your service to this great nation.

I do hope you get cancer. I have no respect for people like you.


Can i smell your ass?


What the fuck are you talking about? Are YOU? Pretty sure my point was right on, that YOU can't understand it is not my problem.


he actually got the illest music around


All of you are retarded this is obviously the OP on 2 accounts. Low IQ aspie fatneckbeards these days. And if that is a chick she's fat as fuck. Therefore she doesn't count as a girlfriend. You are welcome. Downvote this shit unless you are a giant faggot but you probably are.


Yeah, she slept with my best friend and all kinds of shit happened but all is great now.


They asked that because you look like a prepubescent emo child with all those ridiculous tattoos/piercings


Elephant and giraffe are my favourite forest animals.


Yeah, change the rule cause I can't catch.


Theory: High testosterone often leads to balding. It also lends itself to a higher sex drive, which can increase ones 'Do it Yourself' habits. Regularly rubbing one out increases hand and forearm strength.

Conclusion: Hope they washed their hands.


He could be from any other part of the world than the Americas.


Gives a very GLADOS vibe. I like it.


I thought the clip was too long.  Someone should edit it down to like 30 secs and tune down that woman's crocodile tears at the end.

"Oh no kid is dead, time for the waterworks.  Hope this upload gets enough traffic to make me a youtube partner."


Thanks for the comment on the "illusive man" but in fact, I am an illusive man as the technology required to actually play the darned disc has completely eluded me.


Strange how many alcoholics Ive come across today on reddit.com...

Not saying its bad I believe in free will its just didn't expect to see this many of us destroy our livers and such with the careless of a young whimsy child.


I imagine his paper was on Mitt Romney literally being Hitler.


No, it doesn't mean that, fucker


world record for sleep deprivation. scary


>I did not want the bad guys to know i had family

I'm sorry, can you clarify this?  You're carrying around a gun and you throw people into cages simply for trading plants, and you're saying *they* are the bad guys?


There are bears on reddit too.


0|0? You removed your own upvote? Brave.


Yeap I hate mustard, I'd throw the drink and go on a rampage. I have a hole in my wall from the last mustard rampage


It's a word-joke. They are saying:
'The Bond movie is ready, tonight I'm watching Skyfall.'

But they are also saying: The farmers haybale is ready, tonight there will be much rain'.

Sweddit likes those kind of puns


Not tonight. You're jetpack tonight.


But it was anal. So maybe a little Shame.


I used to turn the lights out.


> The magnificent brooch of a large oval sapphire was given to Queen Victoria by Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha on Sunday 9th February, 1840 at Buckingham Palace. It was the day before their wedding... In her will she instructed that it was to be considered a crown piece of jewellery and held in trust for all future Queens of Britain


I bet that made it really awkward for everyone else who still had presents to open.


Seriously, my anus still hurts form watching that clip, I cant imagine how bad Scarra's must be.


At first I agreed with you, but by the end of your post you were just complaining about your friend. I couldn't even finish it.


It is not a fallacy of any kind. People don't make choices as to where they are born, but they do make a choice to which organization they join. And joining Catholic church is pretty much the same as joining KKK.

EDIT:

What's with all the butthurt retards spaming me about *bravery*?


**Read the post again. Just because it is a site that hosts videos does not mean it is the same as youtube. Plus I am pretty sure less than 0.0001% of youtube's content is indie films that don't exist anywhere else. I am talking about a site that specializes in JUST that, as in 100%.**


I bet you're a real [ladykiller](http://i.imgur.com/5FnMK.gif), aren't you?


Dude, watch him while he's on the ground right before he gets up. He IMMEDIATELY looks at the ref before realizing he's not getting a call.


Mozart was all like "Hell, i outlived Ben Franklin, now i can go anywhere." Then it hit him.


There's a bunch of issues I have with your post, but this pretty much sums them up:

> Wrong. When you host a wedding, at the very least you provide foods. Cash v open bar etiquette varies, but you never ask guests to pay for their own meal.

Why? Says who? Where is this written in stone?

It's just tradition, and a shit one at that. Who gives a fuck?


Pretty much anything that comes out of Marisa Tomei's mouth in that movie qualifies instantly. She definitely earned her Oscar.


With a shitty joke like that you don't need bold text and capslock to get to the top of reddit.


"If the dinosaurs had a space program, they'd still be here." - Ron Garan


Let me ask you a question first and how you answer it will determine how i answer yours, are you trans?


Plot twist: the gamer *lied*...


Someone is just trying a *tiny bit* too hard...

I wouldnt want my children to see a woman dressed like this walking down the street.

Why cant we start *valuing* pudency again as a society, for the greater good?


Didn't activate his glutes.


yeah, nah... that's a pretty bad idea.


I live in Alabama and you'd think it was the case here.


Dude, hes human. Its an emotional game. Hes hundred percent all the time. Its hard to just switch off.

EDIT: ok, you guys go play a real game of football and tell me how that goes. Peace.


Just don't try 10minutemale.com, totally not email.


That's what you get for looking at quickmeme.  Why in the world do you want to see anything meme related?


"I work for Comcast."


Another redditor checking in. I don't give a fuck about the military!


Technically, he didn't break character - he gave the worst possible answer for how to kill oneself.


Yeah. But the headset is amazing!


    Step 1: Blast Islamic Jihadi prayer song over and over
    Step 2: Make anonymous tip to Dept of Homeland Security
    Step 3: ????
    Step 4: Prophet


Also, that can't be a woman. Female don't take pics like this.


I was totally convinced Jakob was just one eccentric, costume-loving motherfucker. Nice photoshopping, mate.


hey shitstain if its rare because its a first pressing, holy shit you are dumb. Dumb to the point of having four non original pressings of DSOTM.

[allofmywhy.jpeg](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/085/Kornheiser_Why.JPG)

edit:le downvote, le reddit is le angry. le jimmies are le rustled.


the best, sometimes people think that im him


I'll consider doing that when this subreddit changes it's name to "Personal Computer Gaming"


I hope this comment gets 2451 points.


oh you logged in you dumb fuck to dowvote.  you are so brave.


The FCC won't let me be, or let me be me so let me see, they tried to shut me down on MTV, but it feels so empty without me.


And when I call something a repost I get down voted like hell.


Is that the skateboards for your fingers?


Think you need to get your eyes checked mate, that tattoo looks fine to me.


I'll take a short life of cheese, beer, brats, and the Pack over a long life as a Bears fan.


saying that that story doesnt protect himself from anything.  People steal content from reddit all the time (buzzfeed, gwarker, huffpo, etc).

Saying "please contact me for movies or book deals" is def trying to make money off of it.


All you need after that is some dead parents and you're pretty much Batman.


edit: karma suicide is for winners.


Revenge is a dish best served without carbohydrates.


What a bitch cunt.  He needs to send her a strong message, showing his dominance... by raping her.


My mate used to date a girl who said she didn't brush her teeth before bed because she liked going to sleep with the taste of her dinner still in her mouth. Truly disgusting.


No that's just how the game looks on PC.


There is a white kid there too


No need for that /s. Those things were human rights abuses by their own right.


Your prayers will do nothing because God is not real.


And now it's fucking me back :(


Is it still the sound of freedom when you hear the lunatic shooting children in schools is it still the sound of freedom when you hear the Isis terrorist shooting dead a hostage is it still the sound of freedom when you hear the gunfire that is taking Ukraine from the Ukrainians? Fucking dickhead.


I hope you're saying this for shock value. Because that's one of the most fucked up things I've heard all day. The egg analogy is the only reason I'm questioning the legitimacy of this response. I don't feel like someone with an ass NOT as smooth as an egg could think of such a thing. Power to you either way.


Hey dumbass, if the redneck is there, what does he need a high-tech motion-activated camera for? Seriously, the startling lack of thought put into the twelve different versions of this comment that I have read in this thread makes me want to end my own life.


I thought this day would never come. I changed my user agent string in chrome to IE5 to troll web admins, all of those are probably me.


shut the fuck up you idiot


It's as if all cops aren't inhumane power hungry pigs and are actually normal everyday people...


I honestly don't give a shit about him or other celebrities. They are just people that we don't really know.

Tools for marketing.


I can't even imagine what it would be like swimming in the ocean and hearing a blue whale.  I think I would probably just accept my fate and inhale as much water as humanly possible.


Why? Because you lost **THE GAME**

Le me does not care about le repost. This was on 9gag last week :-)

Fuck you OP for stealing my facebook post from yesterday. I could be reaping in the karma :-D

NINJA EDIT: Upvote if you just lost the game!!! (-:


The very beginning would also have been 100% appropriate.


It's fun to let the town fool take center stage every now and then


Just like when your significant other doesn't follow these 10 Simple Sex Rules!


Aye yo, fuck you bitch ass hoe niggah faggot


30 minutes is how much blow job I've had total in the last 15 years.

Where do you find these selfish losers?


Lived for the Swarm.....Amen!


I bet there are pictures of him laughing at a salad.


hahaha you sir get an upvote


Why didn't you use your magic to cure his disability?


Agreed, I really enjoyed this...hopefully Valve is just updating **le** look...they keep taking out/removing features that are enjoyed by many.

 xDD lmao


"Would you like a comb? A mint? A condom, perhaps?"


But he died a cowards death..


Well my grandparents have been drinking out of them relatively frequently and my Grandfather is 93. So pretty safe I assume.


Too bad this guys mom died.  With many of her teeth and half of her jaw bone removed, it looks like she could gobble down my entire engorged member.  Can you imagine what that lady would look like after an **ANGRY DRAGON**?  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=angry+dragon


I tried this with whitening toothpaste

It turned my Snoop Dogg CD into Paul Anka's greatest hits


Oh shut up, goody two shoes


That's when you step your game up.

You're now inspecting the inspector.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind internet stranger!


"You keep using that scene. I do not think it scenes what you think it scenes."
FTFY


I know that feel.

(Russian here)


Yeah, who gets engaged and posts a selfie? Pretty dumb


My buddy and I call them Niggers haha


All that happens in 35 seconds?

Edit: My most upvoted comment will be about me prematurely ejaculating. Reddit, you son of a bitch.


Acknowledging that nations and cultures are different is racism.

Oh, okay.


It's like paying rent on your job.


I'm horribly distant with my family.

I was nineteen or twenty when it was officially diagnosed. Although, I always knew something was different.


So she honey-potted him.


i sure wish they stayed in Kenya :P


I choose a TRIAL BY COMBAT!


I like how your grandpa didn't go off to war until July of '44. He waited to enlist until the war was just about over. He was a fucking coward and an embarrassment to our country.


Oh god that sounds awful.


Flair up?

Edit: I'm only asking because I thought it's proper etiquette on this sight to have a flair if you want to poke fun/jab at another club...

Edit 2: Holy downvotes


"Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" is in that order because it goes from most to least beneficial for the environment.  He reused it, which is seriously WAY better than recycling.  Just...ugh.


I was going to read that page but then I took an arrow to the knee!!


As my father told me, There are only three useless things in this world. Nuns' nipples, bishops' balls and an employer's praise without a raise."


Have an upvote my good sir :D

Edit: did I say something wrong? Sorry if I offended anyone. :-\


I agree.

It's important to give the audience something interesting and informative to read while they're being put through hours of that movie.


So they're having sex instead of dying a bloody death.

Cry me a river.


Cheapo ones don't have the cool-down gel.


But the Picture is portraying a real British person in America, not an American pretending to be British.


A hand job is a man's job.


I take it the building is going to be a call center. Every single time I call customer service, for anything, I know I'm being transferred to India.


Cookies?  *Cookies?*

I think the original story mentioned shortbread *biscuits*.

What are these *cookies* of which you speak ... of?


Lions do not kill elderly lions in their packs, they look after them.


It will be out soon! I can tell from first hand experience, it is tasty.

EDIT (by staff): As promised http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2012/09/01/ale-chief-white-house-beer-recipe


Enjoy being removed like a bitch! ;)


From another thread:
> You aren't pretty enough to be this stupid


She's a jew. She doesn't look ukranian.


*"Woman with world's most gaping vagina dies of dehydration"


The people who rape kids don't really care for god, just like you.


That, and just normal /r/cringe

Sometimes the videos are someone messing up, and doing something embarrassing. Then it makes sense. Then, sometimes it's just a video of someone being themselves, and people there just tear them apart. There are some real fucking bullies on that subreddit.


Who the fuck knows. I'm going to bed.


Game of Scones.

edit:  Aw, shucks, guys - I don't care about the gold, it's an honour just that some of you considered it gold-worthy.  But how didn't any of you nerds reply with "Scones of Dunshire"?!


I thought he didn't wipe properly.


i put up a pic. if you can't see it, it's because i'm too stupid to know how to post it. if i were lying, i would say i'm bono.


I'm getting downvoted to oblivion because of the mob mentality for calling out someone for a lame snarky coment, not because I didn't get it.  Which would mean that your "Wooosh" comment is being used incorrectly.  I guess the Wooosh should be going back to you.


Explain! like I'm five!


Being a fan does not mean to follow every move and footstep of players, their twitter, facebook and when they go poop. That might be called obsession.


They were rescued by 3 scuba divers who pushed them to shore, they'd been standing on the beach when the ice broke away - [News Story](http://www.bostonnewstime.com/national/95326-teens-begin-floating-away-into-in-lake-michigan-on-a-tiny-iceberg.html)


He can show the Braves and Nats what a WS ring looks like.

Edit: mmmm Downvotes! Bring them on. They'll go good with our 3rd World Series Banner in 5 years.

You can take away my Karma! But you can never take away THE CHAMPIONSHIPS!!!


"...And Broses then led the Jews out of the desert, and into the fertile valley of Friends with Benefits."


Your comment history suggests you really dislike fat people. Maybe you could use your passion for exercise as a way to influence instead of being such an ass clown to people over the Internet.


I just pictured nihilists creating coloring books: "All effort and desire is futile, little Lebowski."


"Dimensionally" isn't a word, and furthermore, since when was a **glitch** in a game considered a different dimension? Pretty sure it's an all-round 3D game. 2D games died out ca. 1996 (-:

If I were to talk about the 4th dimension, you would probably get confused by quantum mechanics d-:


"MISSUHWURLWI-"

"What the fuck was that?"

"Nothing, nothing, now cum in my cookie dough".


edit: more karmacide!


Fidel Castro. No one led a country for more years than him. Politics aside he has been one of the most fascinating world figures.


Bitches get stitches.


It was long and repetitive.  Like NASCAR.


Just like everybody else, I have no use for you.


There seemed to be a lot of drinking involved.


Because catching AIDS is better than catching a fish. Got it.


Good Golly.

* Losing custody of your child in a divorce: *Sucks monkey balls.*
* Being legally forbidden to see your child: *No words.*

Call him. He still loves you and wants you back in his life.


>Car accident ejected him out.

When I saw that the guy in OP's story had an Asian name I said "prolly a car accident" and all my boys loled.  Then we read your comment and loled again.  We will probably lol each time this is downvoted.


Put the glitter in paper tubes taped to the fan blades, openings facing towards the tip and base of the fan blade. That way the glitter doesn't fall off the blade immediately, but goes shooting out once the fan blades gain enough speed. Much better coverage that way.


What the fuck? Do you have Alzheimer or some bull shit?


"Obtain those qualities. His qualities. And wear his qualities, because now they are my qualities."


I never said I was a feminist, you just assumed it.

you're unaware of your thought and emotions and that is just plain pathetic.

your anger feeds me. please dwell on this.


He did start out literally making beats: he is a music producer. No, he doesn't hand make each set of headphones. That's what children in Asia are paid for.


thass dum u coula locked it?? -_-


That's the sound of dozens of students turning themselves in.


Came to say that. :-(


that's not how i was taught to do the Heimlich


... because its the same guy..


Probably my fight in Canada years back. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMROTueJLcw


South of where? What country? "The South" could refer to thousands of places you arrogant condesecending fool. America, is not, the only country you uneducated American idiot -_-.


I'm quite sure he'll be here shortly to defend himself.


No offense but... Omg they're fundies! FUCK THOSE BIBLE THUMPING PARENTS FOR BRAIN WASHING THEIR KIDS. THANK GOD YOU'RE THE ATHEIST MASTER RACE. But all jokes aside no one gives a fuck about their religion.
Edit: I like how reddit is incapable of reading sarcasm. I just said this because op had to include the (obviously) in there like im suppose to know and give a fuck.


I bet she chickened out.


Everyone who isn't dumb knows their native tongue, *by definition*. That's like being proud of having feet. I know we have to keep lowering the bar for pride, but come on.

Edit: I don't know if you guys are confused about the meaning of "native tongue", or if you're all just really proud of your feet.


#IJustCan'tWaitToBeKing


It was an easy way to get karma from reposts.


I guess she wasn't the brightest bulb on the block. She must have been good looking.


Kel ruined the show.


Thank you! It's crazy because I found out later they where looking for a "Terry Crews" type guy for the Odor Blocker spots. Then somebody said "hey lets just ask him". And they did! I loved the concept and the rest is history!


God no; If you try to replace *my* mouse w/ a Genius brand mouse I will not respond *"positively"*.

They might well be "good value for money (now)" but my experience w/ the very bottom end of their (90's) product range  needing repair when new-from vendor, has done little to engender my trust for their name.


"Describe more... graphically".


This. This a million times.


Call me Kurt Cobain in 94, because my mind is blown

Edit - wow first gold, thank you!


We in the British National Party are not used to foul language so please refrain from using words like sxxt and fxxkers when you send a reply to me.


My reddit username has never been more relevant than today.


its not a spoiler lol its a piss take from the Marvel films &#3232;\_&#3232;


No! That's terrible!

Edit: Gold?! Thank you kind stranger! My first gold in a thread about nudes...whew


Yo bro u better be sarcin'


Can you escalate this issue to your supervisor, please?


Predictable atheist is predictable.


> Im a janitor at a grocery store. I got excited when i saw this picture. I thought it was the massive turd i slayed early today.

This is a man who enjoys every moment of being alive. Godspeed, noble turd slayer.


Haha, I love how we more intelligent people are able to appropriate racial slurs for our own amusement, and when people are bothered by them, it's an easy way for us to tell they're not as enlightened as we are and that they're more beholden to arbitrary social norms.

Edit: Uh-oh. The PC neckbeard brigade found my comment "insensitive" and is downvoting it.


actually i know the exact thread you're talking about. he was actually talking (30 something male) about his 14yr old neice. they found out who she was by the school logo on her tshirt and reported him to the police and to the school.


omg how funny, can you post some more jokes please? I love reading unoriginal comments


Israeli good! - Critic #2


This is a miscarriage of justice. They are minors with reduced responsibility and the victim lives. A year of rehab is plenty, then monitored release.


can confirm this is french


''God i love football!''

You must be British, thanks for calling it football instead of 'soccer'

**Edit:** Blimey, why all the thumb downs, lol. Americans


Dude. Theyre STILL making them.

I shit you not. there is one set to come out later this year.


I figured it'd be on here. My buddy sent it at lunch. Figured some might have missed it. It's a awesome photo.


My mom cried when I teased her too much about how ugly I was as a baby (crazy ugly). She told me, sniffling, "You were the most perfect baby I ever saw."


I love (sarcastic use of love for the layman) how sexist this sub blog can be.

What, because she's a woman you just expect her to be picking up after herself or "her man" all the time right? ha ha ha

Remind me never to come here again...

EDIT: wow ha ha. My eyes are open to the reality of who hangs around this dark corner of reddit.com


Draw him lost in Ikea.


That's a nice tinfoil hat you got there. Now go the fuck outside for once.


"Well Jerry, maybe if you called them more often, I wouldn't have to!"


Back to r/christianty

Go on.


That will never happen again. The commit or passenger invited to cockpit


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH you want me to "site" my sources??? Hahahahahaha learn English, shit head.


http://i.imgur.com/VPwSh.png *damn*


You're doing the Lord's work friend /u/resaysay, the Lord's work!


You do know this isn't 4chan and is a **subreddit**, right? You know that stuff that gets posted here gets seen by those who don't go to shitholes like 4chan, right? You're aware that this **subreddit** doesn't automatically mark all of its content with a blanket NSFW tag and that you're supposed to be marking it yourself, right?


This is the most common gripe on Reddit. I propose we change the slogan for Reddit to "Use your fucking turn signals".


I'm not sure how that applies.


Sort of [like this?](http://i.imgur.com/Is3x8.jpg)


I don't event know what karma is. I just posted a damn picture. So fuck off.


I texted him asking if I could do a very special favor for him if he fixed her car, he called and asked what the favor would be and I said "me on my knees", no questions asked after that. He knew me for years, he knew I wasn't fucking around.


To be fair, it is a little undignified to be earning your living in knee-high socks and a pair of brightly-coloured shorts when you're in your forties.


Hahahahaa! What?!

*snortgiggle*

I don't want to be eaten. But I guess if I *have* to be? I'd be a bowl of ice cream. I might as well go down in glory in deliciousness. Nobody hates on ice cream!


Think he might be the Boston bomber. Reddit, we're onto something here!


I stand by my previous response.


Do you even realize you just planted the seed for a pothole?

Not one of you three actually read your DMV manual?  Pathetic.


But they are actually in Zimbabwe's currency


What a tactful, empathetic thing to say. Not at all shallow and ignorant.


I love how many people didn't realize this.


Yeah, no shit.  That's obvious and you just look like a jackass for pointing it out as if you're some incredibly enlightened bloke sent to us from God.

It's the equivalent of going to a mall in December to visit Santa just so you could rip his beard off and tell everyone that he isn't the real Santa.  You're not wrong but maybe you could just not be here?


Felt awesome. So gratifying.


I can use big words to sound smart too.

Flatulence.


Excuse me for eavesdropping; you guys talking about Ranjit? That guy sank a yacht in the ganges while making it rain rupees on some whores. If you see him, tell him Frank and Cholly miss 'im and to give us a call


>your culture and mine are not even close. don't speak for me you hating douche

You have no fucking culture. Your culture consists of smoking weed and protesting, shut your face.

>i'd take someone from the Muslim world over your false-sense-of-entitled ass

Because you're a leftist moron who has done so many fucking drugs that your already tiny brain is now *completely* worthless.


The motto of the Russian winter.


So you literally crapped your pants at teenager humor?

Low standards reddit sure has. I mean, just look at /r/funny.


If he's so fancy, you already know.


The "I'm so spoiled that I got daddy to buy 3d printer but I don't know any other use for it so I'm printing some shapes that I can create in a fraction of the time" file.


You should have head butted your way into her vagina. Then, when you reach the uterus, you will have an air bubble to try and scream for help.

Source: I lived in one of those for 9 months.


Well does that make me the hero reddit deserves for posting this awesome content? :D

(Spoiler: yes) Take notes aspiring OP's, if you wanna make it into the linker elite, this is how you do it.


Seconded. And this goes for pretty much every job in event production and theater.

Nobody notices the soundguy until there is feedback or a mic isn't on, the lighting guy until the stage is dark when it shouldnt be, or the riggers until something breaks and someone dies.

Thankless jobs that we all love to do.


I downvoted you only for your name, JustBrowsing4Chan.


That's a badass quote.


Wrong. Sex-deprived engineers would likely just watch.


Which sucks because statistically they could still kill overall fewer kids than humans, but we'd think humans were better somehow because "we don't -mean- to kill more kids.. a robot can't feel!"

I get the 'robot fears', but having driven in our modern world and seen the types of drivers out there - I can't help but feel we'd all be better off with self-driving cars.


Mario can hold his breath indefinitely, so "long time" is meaningless at that point.


Also, there was a cat


photogenic guy had an interview on national tv about it


I had a similar one.  I was delivering post as a temp job one summer before uni and I knocked on the door to this flat and a woman answered the door, perfect 10, wearing what was basically a flannel, just jumped out of the shower.  She says 'oh, sorry.  I thought you were my sister'  I reply, 'no problem.  I uh, have a package for you' Sadly I was not invited in heh.


"hmmm what is this guy talking about" *scrolls down* OH.


I agree. Whenever some says that a real man doesn't do that, I say a real man does whatever he wants and doesn't give a shit what you think.


"Mobile games"

http://i.imgur.com/C3ZNUB9.jpg


The best advice I've gotten was "My uncle left a silver cup full of water overnight, then drank it through his nose. Cured him immediately!"


Regardless of the story being believed to be true or remotely based on a true event. I made it to the front page and have karma to show for it. No fucks are currently being given.


I believe you kid. Your username on Youtube is SwagaNuts. You're clearly still in high school.


I used to post youtube timestamps, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


/u/Finnish_Jager wants [this removed from the internet](http://i.imgur.com/3UTZOhd.png)


Did you shag her scooby poo hole


Hahaha. This is amazing. Probably the most creative repost detection message I've seen.


"You're just not the type of person we're looking for at the Ministry of Herb.  On behalf of Her Royal Dankness, I bid you good toke."


'You're' fucking retarded.


Cheers on your good character and professionalism.


MOMMY WHY DOS DA WEDDIT HATE ME??????????? I TINK DAT DA WEDDITORS NEED TO TOUCH DA WOMAN GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I imagine them having a thick Scottish accent saying that.


Yeah, but that's not slightly down...


Same for me. Unfortunately, the "put a condom on" switch wasn't working that day.


wow fuk u 2 bitch maybe u shudnt make such grand accusacions... i took dis pic like 2 weeks b4 the 1st post was evr made so fuk off... yet u say i repost? WOW. u sound like a pussy bitches i will fight both of u pick a time and place asswips


Oh, well HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!

What do I like to do on my birthday? I like to have a very small family dinner with friends. Family & friends, that's it. And *amazing* food. I'm ALL about the food!


Then again, Obama is pretty much the worst president in the last hundred years so his opinion isn't worth a whole lot.


Larry King's that young? Who knew?


It's called "fake", and needs no explanation.


We were not compensated. It was a volunteer position.


It's not really a comedy. It's white people humor.

You know it's true, not many blacks would laugh at this quirky hipster shit.

edit: oh, look at all the whiteys coming to defend their Wes Blanderson movie.


That's the other point I forgot to put into my comment too. I'm always nervous for the drivers when they do this. I'm thinking "Look at the goddamm road or you're going to hit something!".


More sexist memes?  That's exactly what we need.


CERN announced last month with a 95% confidence interval that they'd succeeded in fucking with the Wu Tang, although it will be several years before they think they'll be able to fuck with the Wu Tang at room temperature


yeah prolly cuz they raped 500 girls in that span of time


I'M COMING OVER TO MEET YOUR WIFE AND KIDS.


If you don't plan on posting proof for 5 more hours, I'll have to remove the post and re-approve it when you do provide some.


Jesus take the wheel!


And I'm 15 I didn't know she was 13


Maybe jokingly mentioning it is his way of trying to find the key to exit the closet.


MY DADDY WAS PROUD OF MY BRODER JONATON WEN HE HAD DA SEXY TYME WIT MY SISTA!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE IS DYED BUT I HAPPY CAWSE NOW I GET ALL DA TOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LE GAGA GOO GA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


"Uhhh...nothing?"

"Well that doesn't make any fucking sense."


I justed logged-in to tell you this:

You are an AS*HOLE


Why do you automatically assume that invisible people would be breaking into houses?  Are you anti-transparent?


GAGA MAMY why DADA PUT his SnakE ON My VAGINIA!!!! GOO GAH goo I wana pwuay owieee!!!!!!!


>"What am I, a god damned jew?"

That's how I really see it happening.

Edit:  Great, my highest rated comment is a racist remark. Still, no regrets.


I just had to upvote you.


How come this is the first time I heard of this game? Have I been living under a rock?


in the video or comments? I guess I wouldn't really recognize either anyway... but..


3 easy payments of 19.95!


Congratulations, you're a robot.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GROUND!


And maybe that's why you're an uneducated nigger and should shut the fuck up.


If they are not legitimately towing your car, then that's called stealing your car.


I used to fear my mom and dad had sexytime in my bed, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


"Pavlov's Dogs' Days Are Over"


Potential rapey vibes in other words. Who needs communication, right?


> I have Google Fiber

Arrogant little fucking showoff. Fuck you, man. ***FUCK YOU***...

WHY CAN'T I EXPERIENCE GOOGLE FIBER TOO? IS MY STATE NOT GOOD ENOUGH? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH??

Am I just not good enough for you, Google? Why won't you just let me love you, senpai (づ｡◕ ⌒ ◕｡)づ


Its not "esque". It is a "misandry isnt real" board. because misandry is not real. on my phone, though. Can another mod please ban this person?


I have a swimming pool and a small cement skatepark, if that's what you mean. My actual house is not filled with quarterpipes and rails, unfortunately.


If he can continue to get women like that to put their hands on his ass, I'll be very proud!


I feel it is completely fair. At a certain point you can't use all the money you make so I feel completely okay with paying more because I earn more.


Actually it's not. Kill yourself nerd.


You're allowed to swear on here.


Is it too late to get in on this?


PRETTY GREAT, WE HAVE HOCKEY HERE


I don't see the irony


Black people - their knee grows.


And dismissing misogyny as "mah soggy knees" and dehumanizing their enemies by nicknaming them "Literally Who".


Haven't you played GTA?  There's a limit on how high you can go, then you just bump against an invisible ceiling.


Isn't your meter supposed to go to ten?


Man I would be so flattered if people were using a picture of *my* cock as an attraction.

Edit: I accidentally a word


I used to mod /r/arrowstotheknee, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


A computer scientist's wife asks him, "would you pick up a loaf of bread at the store, and if they have eggs get a dozen?"

He gets home, throws 12 loaves of bread on the counter, and says "they had eggs".


Spoke softly? He was a blowhard warmonger, nothing soft about it.


Boner uses "Harden".

Boner's defense greatly rose!


Of course he didn't.  Why on earth would someone tell **the** Richard Dawkins they're "from the Internet?"

He probably doesn't have time for nonsense like that anyways, too busy disproving Creationist Theory and smacking theists with righteous logic.  You don't become the world's preeminent evolutionary theorist by chit-chatting with loser, beta-neckbeard types.


Oh boy, can't wait for gene therapy.


it was originally a message that he then made a status update


This is the internet. You can just lie.

I actually got like 400 nukes. I played on my yacht in Tahiti.


Yes, it makes me squeal with excitement as well.


You should have put the flat tire back on.


Those guys have more balls then you will ever have.


So this is the female version of a creepy gonewild comment


I'd still have a beer with Sandusky


Until it smells it's good to go.


Who the fuck is downvoting this?


Its going to be ok lil nigga you can do it.


to spread more Islamophobic hateful drawing.


Woah. TIL David Copperfield is a redditor.


haha word for word what i was gonna say! damn!


I like the fact you're replying nearly all the q's. You're not such a big dick after all. Pretty cool op


Organizations, church, etc.


I know, I really loved that tattoo and was so proud of it when I can up with the idea when I was a teenager. I really shouldn't have removed it... You know what, I think I might go back to the parlor and have it done again. Thanks reddit!

Edit: added sentence.


it's more like "Where can I take a shit"

not a single fuck was given on that day by the dog

I love how people try to anthropomorphize animals with emotional bullshit


The vendor replies, "No need to get violent. Do you want the fifty back or something valuable I recently found?"

The Buddhist replies, "What did you find?"

The vendor holds up a small peppermint chocolate with a hole in the middle, holds it up to the sun until a small light shines through the hole, and says "A light in mint".


...but it was just an off the wall question. What prior interactions have lead you to believe I'm following you? :P


Your version is better.


you're going to die in childbirth


Based on the amount of crying, they completely shut down.  Their brains went into hysteria/panic mode which led to them not doing anything remotely logical.


It's a social experiment, I think. After seeing so many downvotes I started downvoting as well for no reason.


No, with roaches, it's "If you see one, you've got 100, and more than half of them are carrying 50+ eggs."


Pussy. Stop crying. OMG NSFL LIEK OMG WTF NSFL WAGAHAHHSHSHS


'An obdurate, prejudiced, bigot and brute;
A dogmatist creep and a cretin to boot!
A pill-poppin', dope-droppin' zealot and dick;
A mad, maladjusted, cantankerous prick!

*A jerk and a junkie; a snake and a sneak;*
*A nazi-sectarian-fascist and freak!*
*A dangerous, deviant, blood-sucking flea -*
*But man, what an asshole he turned out to be.'*


This is a chat board and nobody is going to do shit.


Burger King's PR department is doing a kick-ass job on Reddit today.


If he was a white, Canadian player, I bet I wouldn't have to.


Not with that attitude.


Because hyperbole is lost on you.

No. Fuck you, you insufferable asshole.


If I fall in will it eat me?


Well, at least it's something different from the usual accusation of mountain dew, so I'll take it. Sigh. I just don't understand what's wrong with acknowledging the fact that he is dead.


I hope you looked her dead in the eye with a completely blank face, then let out a quiet "beep"


Except that none of this is confirmable as Valve has hardly released any information about it.

Edit: he edited in the sentence saying he made up the numbers, making it seem like he presented it as fact. Not that I care about the downvotes, I have 170k where that comes from.


My wife. Why did you have to leave so soon?


You can't handle *one* curse word? I am astonished how sensitive you are, and most of rest of these commenters are pretending to be. And by the way, when I wrote "moronic rude fuck" in the comments it was in imitation to someone calling me such, I was responding to him/her, I suppose I could have put on quotes.


the thing about playing chicken is that both parties have to be opposed to colliding. trains don't really get that part.

ruins the fun tbh


Exploiting your own fathers illness and possible death LIKE A BOSS


Every. Single. Blind. Thread.


that little freak out at **le** end, thats him fighting **le** gayness. but loosing to its power and accepting it.


A genuine don't-know-me-in-day-to-day-life fan? Yes. They were so nervous they ejaculated twice before we even got to any of my holes and I gave up. He was super cute though.


Why didn't you just use Google?


"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!"


Charity is given. What she was looking for a was a handout.


i can feel the panic behind those words


Oh, I understand you chipped the paint and made the place look shitty to keep your clown from being stolen, and but then i took an arrow 2 th3 kn33! D-:


So like a few minutes ago?


DAE TOXIC MC OLOLOL GARENA BAD XDDDDD LMAO -grabs Le pitchfork-


Bae caught me rippin'.


The link to the "Click here to buy this print" seems to have been removed. He hasn't made an effort to deny that he's trying to make money off of it, only that it is justified because he spends money on paint supplies.


> "The Pyramids, as shown above..." There were no pictures with this essay.

MFW


your a idiot

edit 1: ummm okay. look at his freaking usernmame. i was definitely being sarcastic. but whatevs, long hair don't care

edit 2: fuck it, i'm downvoting myself for overestimating all the super funny people on this sub

edit 3: ok, i've thought about it and i'm not happy about this. what can i do to fix this? constructive criticism is appreciated


Stop talking about your new stepdad like that.


Yeah because what the world needs is another fat-shaming misogynist like you.


Thanks! I write this. [I did an AMA about a month ago](http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/voqsp/i_write_now_i_know_a_free_triviaquirky_facts/).


Downvote if you hate orphans.


I like this reply because he didnt even answer the question.


Wow, you guys is rednecks.


If he's smart, he'll come back years later and do it again.


bitch please.  Report back in a year and tell us how about this role model thing and how it affected you.

Fucking karma whoring asshole.  This whole thread is full of emo faggots Jesus Christ.


When I read this at first, I imagined it as you used your open mouth as a plunger... which would also make sense in the context of the question


He probably swaps health with himself but while swapping he has 0 health for a moment and dies, my theory


> she had only gone to a hotel where the guy wanted to meet up for some kisses.

This sounds like something Butters would say.


The whole sexual preference thing gets too much knee-jerk response. It's a poor model to normal-functioning heterosexual females, and would likely prevent future soccer recruits from going to the school. Say what you will, but homosexuality is, and always will be, as unusual as schizophrenia. We can tolerate it, but it is a mental disorder, as it had been classified until only a few decades ago.


No, but her peehole was


Maybe you should start a business instead of bitching that you are an employee..


When I was 20, I randomly got this huge swelling on my neck, and when it was removed they realized it was something along these lines. I called it my cyst-er.


ahhh! hahha! this is the big secret! i'll get back to you later :)


SHE CAN SMELL YOUR MAYONNAISE


Because karma.
And someone else would likely have posted it anyway.


I once had the question posed to me, "If you're not happy on your own, how can you make someone else happy?"


Christians and conservatives from the U.S. Would go to jail in droves if they were ever arrested for failing to vaccinate children.

We should push that legislation here, stat. Our prisons would enjoy the new inflow.


Adam did not have to convince me to do AMA. Although I expected a lot of questions that are kind of fluffy like 'how many berets do you have' I also figured that I would get a lot of intelligent stuff from a group like this, and it is my responsibility, by way of doing a good job of being in the public eye, to keep tabs on the opinions of the public about who I am and what I mean to them.


No joke: 1) Vehicle is running because he is on call/on duty. 2) Businesses handicapped signage does not appear compliant 3) Yes, we know, you aren't special for noticing


I go to bed with all my friends


You know you don't actually have to watch the full length of it, right? Hell, even I didn't.


Interviewer: "please take a seat"
You: "nice try ISIS"


Wow.  Just wow.  Here's why that's a problem.

[edit: sarcasm, downvoter army - I was envisioning folks continuing with more gay Buzzfeed/SRS/Tumblr SJW catchphrases, not get panties in a knot about stupid shit like they do.]


He faxed a copy of his birth certificate.


Im saying i have fans and enemies, even before this. Imitation is the highest form of flattery.


That's because every truck driver that ever stopped in Detroit is dead.

EDIT: Thanks for the gold, stranger!


You must be looking at a different sub because there is no promotion of emotional abuse


Neither do I but I like being drunk.


I worked at a shop for years and if this is the kind of very mild shit you ban customers for then I would hate to have you as an artist in my shop.


Ironically, a hatred for flying pigs probably would unify Israel and Palestine.

Worse than any bomb - flying pork dropping bits of non-halal, non-kosher excrement.

We could unify them against the pigs that fly.


Then don't read it and move on, fuckhead.


One does not simply 'shoot the shit' with Sean Bean


Conan O'Brien is extremely tedious and not at all funny. Oh well, good for him getting rich for entertaining the stupid.


It was strange.  I kept looking at all the different zeros hoping one of them would explain what was going on.  It was fun.  It was... dirty.


I want to rob the fuck out of all those rich assholes who patronize your restaurant.  God that would be so much fun.  Have them begging for their lives and then leave them crying and bloody on the ground while I walk away from them with pockets full of benjamins


That says a lot about the character of your DM that he was able to about-face and apologize like that.


>The problem is of course that you believe that if both terms exist (misogyny and misandry), it means that they're equal in how big issues they are

Misandry is not a real thing. At least not outside of SPLC designated hate sites such as /mr.

[](/dealwithit)


That's why I love boxer briefs, the protection of whitie tighties with the loose feeling freedom of boxers.


I have an idea. Nuzzle my testicles a while and contemplate. Maybe it will come to you.

Edit - you are a chick, right? I just assumed with that faggy username of yours.


Click bait pisses me off, but what really pisses me off is how it's creeping into site that used to be useful. Weather.com was pretty good for checking, well, the weather, but anymore you go on there and it's bullshit like "WINTER STORM HECTOR IS EATING YOUR BABIES" and "THE REAL COST OF CHEAP GAS" and stupid bullshit like that.


No it isn't. You can have 2 in your deck, so on average you will draw better than 1 by turn 15 due to drawing 3-4 turn 1 plus mulligan. Perfectly fine for Druids at least. Everyone else is screwed though.


> I've decided it'll be easier to just never talk to her again.

Well thankfully that's going to be pretty easy, since she doesn't have a phone anymore.


You are fucked in the head.

The way to deal with dangerous drivers is to take their plate and call the police NOT ACT LIKE DOUCHEBAGS, BREAKING THE LAW AND ENDANGERING OTHERS IN THE PROCESS.

You brainless fucktard: fuck off back to your empty-headed existence.


Tell me more about this transparent wood.


I will suck your dick for karma.

Edit: I take it you're not a fan of blowjobs.


My elder sister got sick in Monrovia. When my sister passed away my grandmother also got sick because she was taking care for her. My father went to bring her his mother to Bong where I live as he wanted to take care of her. During that time we ate together and that is how I got infected.


nah, she just promised me a blowjob next time she's single.  I guess the going rate for BJ's in NY is $20.

edit: some people can't take a joke


It's a place called Casey's, and they're all over Iowa, and they do a delicious breakfast pizza.

Yeah, you heard me!


Confuscius say: Go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger.


Yeah, that would be hard


I'll leave that to her husband.


˙ʎllɐɹ "ssǝuıɥʇnɹʇ ǝɹoʇsǝɹ" ɐ ƃuıploɥ ǝq ʇɥƃıɯ ʇɹǝqloɔ uǝɥdǝʇs


hey give them a break..they are an otter plus they are drunk so their judgment is clearly fogged up just because they have terrible judgement doesn't mean they are a terrible person haha


>Uploaded with HTC 4G+™


Yep. [Addressed that here](http://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/ueu4j/karmanaut_is_at_it_again_shitty_watercolour/c4uspfq?context=3).


Why would I ever need purple string?


that's only because THEY stole you card # afteryou entered it the first time....


Just think of it as 2 giant candles.


On behalf of the people who got the joke, sorry for the idiots.


YOU ARE SUGGESTING THAT OP'S VIEW OF A BILLIONAIRE IS MODIFIED BY THE KNOWEDGE OF HIS BILLIONAIRE STATUS

AND PERHAPS THAT OP IS A WOMAN OR A NONTRADITIONAL MALE


What am I suppose to say to him? He wont change his mind. I mean, he has no power over us as we are finacially independent etc. But I still fear him, he is so overpowering, and I dont wanna fracture relationships with the rest of my family.

The mindset pisses me off, yet unless we cut him.out of our lives arent I letting him win everytime my wife goes go see them with me?


> they apparently told the employees to stab a hole in each chip bag

I will never understand this. What, you find your garbage is someone else's survival treasure? *Let me make it even more shitty for them, for no benefit or reason at all* :(


lets be honest, a large part of why people play LoL is that its so popular. So chances are, that had a lot to do with why your friend ended up with it. SO perhaps, if he spends a little more time browsing the web for comparable games he might find something that works for him


So close...

Edit: fuck.

Edit2: Fuck you bitches again, this is now my main account and I'm not deleting this comment.


I also like shooting a load into my mouth to check for saltiness.


Have u ever loved a woman so much that every time u look at a rose u see her face smell a rose it reminds u of her and it makes u want to plant a million bushes so u can have her around all the time?

haha!

------------------

Hop on over to **9GAG** and join in on all the fun!


> You can think of Anonymous what you want, but sometimes they are really useful

Anonymous can be anyone at any given time.

Anonymous can be a teenager, or the FBI, or the NSA, or whoever....


Oh. I see. This is for a bunch of educated, sex-less assholes. My god. You must be a miserable human being.


Holy shit! You are right.

Proof: http://imgur.com/J2btSMy

EDIT: Thanks for the gold stranger :)


Special because I don't believe in a lie that is told by government that is famous for lying and secrecy? This event has so much conspiracy shitstorm around it, and if you still believe what is said to have happened then you my friend are an idiot.


That's exactly the answer someone in a secret rich-person club would give...


/r/SRS is better than /r/spacedicks


I have no sister. After that bit of whistle-blowing.

BACK TO THE LIBRARY WITH YOU!


LmAo No ShiiiiiiiiiT CaPtAiiiiiiiiiiN ObViiiiiiiiiOuS !


Give a man a threesome, he cums for a day.
Give a man a laptop, he cums for a lifetime.


Literally only came to the comments to make some witty quirk about natural selection. Well played, sir.


IT'S MAO VS HITLER TODAY ON REDDIT, A FIGHT TO THE DEATH


Both business and engineering schools are better at OSU... If you are talking about arts and huminitarian school that yeah the school up north is better


> their security team takes the happy atmosphere of the parks pretty seriously

"Be happy!...or else."


does he know how pathetic his tree was compared to today's indoor? great pic but that scraggly ass plant looks like something I'd brush off into the carpet for the vacuum to get high on.


Can I get the Shiner Bock first before executing the rest of the plan?


yeah but this isn't a cell phone tower.  those cell phone towers are constructed of fire resistant materials.  this is an actual cactus, so its not funny, its just retarded.

everyone downvote this shit.


You. Words. Write. Good.


chances are, he's gay


Habib: "No please go away.."

**boom** *door kicked down*

Marine: You have a beautiful home, mind if I smoke?


i would have filled my hot tub with ink, but i took an arrow to le knee

EDIT: LE KNEE KNEE KNEE LE KNEE


Words can hurt, you know


why are people still requesting celebrities to do AMAs and getting on the front page? are people fucking retarded?

none of your Karma-whoring questions are gonna get answered. we are not Liam Neeson, we are Reddit.  these posts are the equivalent of letters to Santa Claus


Sweet jesus. Brace yourself ....


It is like they were never there..just like PC gaming


So do the redneck white people. From Georgia.


People like you are a disgrace to society. Little can u reflect on yourself that you are infact the immature inbred five year olds we must dispute with. Let me offer u a fun fact (you like facts don't you?): 3.23 BILLION. 3.23 BILLION BELIEVE IN SOME SORT OF DIETY. KEEP THAT IN MIND WHILE YOU GO ON AND AROUSE THE CHILDREN OF GOD.


Or that "hya!" sound you'd say riding a horse.


All aboard the downvote train! Choo, choo, motherfucker!

Edit: ok guys, I was expecting a few downvotes but I don't really have spare karma for this shit, let's back this train up a bit

Edit 2: AWW FUCK THIS KARMA TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES


My moustache grows with such rampant, perpetual virility, that we need to trim it 3 or 4 times a day during filming. It was cool at first (grade school), but to be honest, it's getting old.


Putting the irresponsible owner down too would have accomplished that.


> 20 years in

He went for the long con


Scumbag redditor: mod maker switches clock; thanks god


Fully funded mission to multiple destinations in space.  Which reminds me:

If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea..."   - Antoine de Saint Exupery


Don't watch him then... A lot of people actually like his personality

Edit: for fucks sake people, am I the only one being rational here? It's not like his personality is being shoved into your face involuntarily... You have to actually choose to watch him. Well over a hundred down votes for stating a simple fact.


Oh, man. Elephant jokes. I love them so much. There's just something about the ridiculousness of them all that makes me laugh really hard.

EDIT: Well, this is my top-voted comment now. I am completely OK with this. And my inbox is full of elephant jokes, which is how you make every day great.


Le me used to point to le left/right, but then le me took le arrow to le knee! [#leLOL!](http://www.reddit.com/r/lelelele)


i definitely share archer's penchant for annoying everyone around him and his juvenile sense of humor, and biggest difference, my chest is significantly
more pillowy


came here for that, upvote to you


But was she vaccinated?


The moderation team of /r/Unexpected is unfit to handle such a large subscriber load.  We here at /r/unexpectedoutcome are far more capable of handling such tasks.


So you're saying I should get as much of it as I can now, because it won't be available soon?

Is this some sort of /r/hailcorporate style marketing scheme? Because I feel like you just told me that they're about to put palm oil "back in the Disney Vault".


Who are the dirtiest creature in this universe?? You guessed it right. They are women. They Shower, clean, makeup, spray perfume, spent long hours in bathroom, their vagina bleeds and smell like their father's balls and dick.


Stop, you're both right.


How is this **not** the top comment?


Lack of a higher education beyond High School.


>i don't understand

Well, you are a sleazy pedophile, so i guess it's not too surprising that you'd have trouble understanding why people are grossed out by your sleazy-pedophile humour.


That they organized a vote like that makes them much uglier than you.


Sounds like a dickhead. And "funny guy"? He's as funny as Tim and Eric and in a similar sort of way.


Your Mum probably hated you for that. "Die son"


He's loving as it is, I don't think we need foreplay.  He takes things slowly and doesn't rush me, he always whispers nice things in my ear.  I'm always comfortable.


We keep a happy relationship by respecting it. We make it the top priority in our lives.
A lady should be treated like any person, man or woman, with respect and good manners. If you're a fellow, it doesn't hurt to open a door for a lady, or help her with her parcels. We're all in this together.


Clearly you didn't read any of my other comments in this thread to see that I'm not just talking about Facebook. In fact, the post itself mentions Snapchat. Dude, I'm sorry that you felt the need to come here and troll instead of contributing to what is obviously a humor bit about social media. Maybe if you had more friends on YOUR sacred friend list, you wouldn't be such a dick.


btw - my wife is typing for me everyone.


>and we sat there and laughed at this kid.

Wow y'all are some shitty people. Like "to the core of your being" shitty.

My bad I didn't get the reference, I try to watch only good tv


Who is Amy Winehouse?


Hmm very interesting. I really does look like the same picture. My best guess is someone at Hanscom did this for him while he was waiting for a flight in or out. He never had a cell phone and hated computers so Im guessing if it was shopped it happened while he was at the base .


Introducing the 2016 Hyundai Yenetra...

edit: Holy fuck.


My point was more of the fact that that version was released in 2003


Classic Mrs. Daniels.


ther is nothing ofbeat about the berlin wal falling


... I cringed so bad at that I felt like I should file a restraining order as well.


What if he graffitis his way out of jail?


http://imgur.com/pnVBh

[**♕**](http://www.shittywatercolour.com)


Read the message box, fuckhead.


OP is a fucking genius. If not for that title, I would probably not have clicked with such nervous curiosity. It was almost like watching a commercial that's so bad, you cannot forget it.


I'd say a better analogy would be someone saying "have your party somewhere else, it doesn't belong here." The entire point of having subreddits is that people can customize it to exclude content they don't want (say, memes) and include content that they do want.


Dude go hug your mom.


A female actually looking like the character and not being 'sexy ezio'? WHAT WORLD IS THIS


I made a [picture](http://i.imgur.com/2PRe4JH.jpg?1)

Edit: Thanks for the gold. I now realize that Kate is probably a woman.


This is because Tyler Durden doesn't truly exist. He is part of the narrator's sub-conscience.


Dear god, I have been in this thread so long I forgot what it's title was. You almost had me going to try this.


Why did you click the [+] sign on this comment?


It is the opposite. It means he has done everything in the game. It's actually kind of impressive.http://runescape.wikia.com/wiki/Completionist_cape


I used to be an amateur, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


One of my favorites. Along with Inception and Memento. Can't wait to see interstellar.

Christopher Nolan is incredible.


Glad I entertained you.  It's not the number of years that matters to my family, it's the stage of our relationship.  They don't even talk about him when I'm home.  He's just a boyfriend until we get engaged, it's just how we are.


Tape.  God you're dumb.


Then do something about it, don't complain about it.


So ladies (yeah!) ladies (yeah!) You wanna advertise fertility? (hell yeah!)


U should be grateful. I was in the hospital for 3rd burns and I'm 13. My mom and dad didn't even show up to visit.


It's actually pretty tame for a picture of a guy doing a trick on a bike, while a man gets head from another guy and a dog threesome


And they say pornstars are dumb...


Yeah, well, if he's so smart, why is he dead?


Fuck off. Women are much more emotional than men. If a woman lashes out due to her emotions going haywire, that doesn't give you an excuse to beat the fuck out of her.

I can't believe this has so many upvotes. As a woman I feel this is disgusting.


I am pretty sure that it was one of the best expeditions in his life!


How many Superbowl appearances with the best QB in the league that isn't getting younger?


Who are you to say my dick is ugly?!


did it really? you're unutterably stupid.


Yeah, we kind of have a history of purposely blocking certain types of people from voting


I hope this situation in Ireland makes all you American socialists thankful that you live in a country with free expression. This would never happen in the USA because we are free country that is getting more and more left-wing by the day.


Oh good to hear, Losing a bone would not be very humerus.


Anyone who gives up their aspirations or goals to become a parent is an idiot.


Yes. But its not as great as it seems!


Well, its nothing to do with Battlefield 3.


I would argue Bill Murray is the actual hero there.


i mean dick not stick alright now stop the downvotes thanks


Its "hi, how are you?"

Edit: and yes, i am kinda high!


trolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll


That fact goes WAY further back than that.  You're the first in a line of fathers that goes back through every stage of evolution to the beginning of sexual procreation!

From your DNA's perspective, you're the first failure in 3 and a half billion years.


I wonder if he has script for downvoting with multiple accounts.


SMASH ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS


in which planet :/
its a damn bush


LOL.

However I do bring good tidings! I'm two years early.


is this a good comment or bad comment?


Like that ever fucking stopped people from having kids.


Didn't contribute to the conversation.


Backpack game on point


Possibility, but there was also "splatter" on the table in a pattern not fitting to a drink spill.


Unidan has Tourettes now I guess.


Ohno. Feminists are raping my comment with their filthy downvotes.


"Like I was trying to start a lawnmower"

BEST. VISUAL. EVER.


I used to think that OP is a fag, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


windows 7 does not have the windows store, windows 10 does.


RELEVANT USERNAME LOL^^^


I guess he took the hypocritic oath.

I'll see myself out.


Your mother was telling me all about it last night.


Welcome to Reddit, Mr. President.


Yes, removing duplicate posts is pretty irrelevant (and also not against reddit rules, not sure how he made that leap in logic). What I didn't mention is that other times when I *wasn't* the first to submit a story, I'd still remove all other submissions after the first one, because that's called moderation and it's what moderators do.


In the pop world that's mad impressive.


At least the janitor got what he deserved.


You know what,
You don't just win the internet for today, you win LIFE for today. And hell, since I'm not working over the weekend, you get to keep your trophy for a few days.

*Edit: Due to popular demand, you have won life, for ever.
Keep up the good work. :)


You call him an idiot but you used "you're" and not your


Hey man, the world isn't so #000000 and #FFFFFF


I used to go outside, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


You die only to be transported into a husk of a world where you slowly die over and over again until you lose your sanity. Yeah I'll pass.


He won't become a top player. His peak was years ago and he's been dropping ever since


I think Breaking Bad ruined that name for me.


Actually, no. Not all of them. They just exploded there allowing cancer to follow.


That's because risk avoidance supplanted innovation as the driving force of "progress"

*Except all that crazy one way trip to mars stuff*


you don't have to push the game down.


You're right. If they got this under $1000 I'd buy one. Not even using a throwaway.

I've had plenty of girls in my time, I've got nothing to prove to myself. I've got disposable income, so why not buy a super high end sex toy?


You call those abs brah?


That's just cool everyone. Thank you.


Your mom likes it.   She likes lotsa things


Along the same lines, if you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. If you run into assholes all day long, you're probably the asshole.


Everyone has the right to lie in court.


WAKE UP!  HICCUP!  WHY'D YOU LEAVE THE KEYS UPON THE TABLE?  YOU WANTED TO!


Ah, another person who has fallen for the act, good job!


"A man commits the perfect murder." Sorry.


We? Daft? Something seems fishy here... I smell a dirty red coat


Clever, but I'm an *individual*. (That translates to pompous ass)


Would that be a gay pride?


Seriously, who buys this stuff?


If you seek him out and have a meeting, I'll give you a buddy pass from the airline I work at.


>Yeah, but do you really think we do it because he asked us to?

You've obviously new here.


> They made him promise not to tell anyone, so he only told me and a few dozen other people.

Solid friend.


Dude. When *bronies on Reddit* start downvoting you...Take a step back.


All of my children were conceived in a walk in freezer, my ex-wife.


Then fuck off.  There you go.  Fuck right off.  Stop looking at my stuff.  My stuff is for people that think I'm fucking awesome just the way I am.  Not for you.


Best part was that it went on for almost two months before someone told me. Kid asks me to turn down the music and I was just like um...pretty funny though.


Hit *what* exactly? Your computer monitor? Or do you mean the aliens they've referred to?

**EDIT:** How dare I insinuate stage ~~blood~~ boobies is not enough! Settle for the sham, it requires less work and personal development.


Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard


who even cares

EDIT: downvoted for truth... way to go hivemind


Even really bad people aren't bad all the time


If you guys have any downvotes, they go on the rack to my left.


> Looked like a 12 year old girl about to pounce on me.

nice


>We need people like OP speaking our against them.

Yeah OP sure is a tolerant, non-racist person with peaceful views that should be respected. Justice in video games above all!

[/user/Michichael](http://www.reddit.com/user/Michichael)


/u/Detective-Mittens- cracks another case.


he's not, he's just fat and looks like a retard.


it comes down to the fact that if you do it that well, and eventually get caught, there'll be hell toupee


Maybe it's a bit exaggerated thing to say, but knowing that the tec-9 gave 50 kills to Olofmeister ONLY... it's naive to think that weapon didn't ease the way for them.


"Any final words?"

UGH


Great ass though. And she's not too dark, like one would expect of Nigerians.


White, because he didn't get arrested.


So basically your dad and the rest of the fire-fighters were cunts.


hahaha YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!!


no it's definitely then... go back to 6th grade


No. Dogs are social creatures, they hunt and live in packs. Cats are programmed for solitary survival if necessary.

I like to think that while the dog is protecting you, the cat is also meaning well. He/she is just making sure your sacrifice was not in vain.


Yeah, I'll cry a river as they go down, one by one.


How about they publish this: http://i.imgur.com/r3zQF0G.png (NSFW, probably NSFL if you are a thin-skinned Muslim)

e: some people obviously think I made this. I did not, sadly. I don't know the author, however.


He's still a fag tho

op is always a fag


They're like T Rex rats.


The reaction might be incorrect and unproductive, but I'll take their reaction over the House ~~Negro~~Muslim position of "ignore them."


A truely timeless tale of love.


Wow, you're clever. Did it take you all day to think up that joke?


Your wish is my command. Here. http://i.imgur.com/9c9jt.jpg


Glad you found the opportunity to heap more racism onto this OPs racism.

You should be proud of yourself jackwagon...


"Oh fuck, I could have just bought a $1000 desktop and $500 laptop instead."


This is the typical strategy of leftist economics.

It's like only tallying those still standing after a game of Russian Roulette and ignoring all those who lost.


I hope Zach Braff sees this.


and its still peanuts compared with what the earth naturally releases itself


You have a cat nerd. Doesn't really get sports or bars, but great with high energy physics problems.


When the cartoons tend toward portraying all Muslims as terrorists, it is phobic.


I had a teacher like that, we called him fired.


Someone pointed out religious affiliation.

I replied he might have been crazy, we don't know.  He was pretty quiet so that is an admirable quality if you affiliate yourself with something like that.

I hope he's off throwing lighting with Thor to be honest.


That's all incredibly reasonable. It's not really going to have any effect at all.


What's going on is, there is no "close thread" functionality in Reddit software, so I have to remove everything by hand.


30 years from now you will be telling some Hmong kids to getting off your lawn with an m1.


Wow great argument fagtron you sure convinced me with those hot opinions.


Did you break your arm? Were you particularly frustrated about it?


Sure, until you realize that they're the ugliest children you've ever seen.


Fuck, I would have beat you fuckers.

I'm great with children.


HAHAHAHA THIS IS NOT A TIRED OVERUSED JOKE AND IT IS REALLY FUNNY HAHAHA


That was just the beginning

EDIT: Karma Puberty just hit me like a truck!

EDIT2: THANKS FOR THE GOLD! I need to find a new life goal now.


Step 12: Say I don't want gold
Step 13: I don't want gold at all guys
Step 14: Gets gold


That motherfucker better wife you so hard.


It didn't feel big if you were flying or driving at all it felt quite small.  You must have been under 10 when playing it for you to think it was huge


No. That's Adrian. I'll tell him thanks for you.


So, not only can you whore your dying pets out for karma, but money as well.

Brilliant!


"get the dog one too"


Ah yes, I can clearly see so many of you in this thread just standing back and not doing anything, that's for sure.


crossfit in a nutshell.


If you compare the images, judging by the angle of the point he is sitting on, he would be about 3 feet off the ground. So unless midgets are a new enemy type...


Or reenact past conversations that you weren't happy with.

Edit: Jokes on you I didn't even want gold.


I used to fear my mom and dad had sexytime in my bed, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


"Keep cool, do not freeze." says my mayonnaise jar.


wtf?? this doesn't even make se.... oh fuck, fuck you faggot!


We can finally just have virtual politicians run on corporate servers.


i said the same thing!


Appropriate for a subreddit with so many reposts.


That's something you should probably ask *before* sex.


lol

edit: Oh crap. I woke up this morning and my comment karma is below -100. It dropped over 300 points in a matter of hours kinda like the dow jones did.
Could you all upvote this please. How can writing "lol" be this bad? :(


Year five, month 4, day 14
...

Timmy has become self-aware


We must immediately crush and forbid any speech we don't like!  Raise up fellow progressives, lets crush opposing thought and speech!


Fuck it we'll do it live.


Plot twist: She just has a REALLY blown out vagina, if you can fit a pop canned sized donkey dick in your twat balls deep, Youuuuu might be a whore bag.


Wingman of the century.


As someone who hates cops, downvoted.


"Everything changed when the Car Nation attacked..."


Watch a few Ronaldinho compilations, that'll put it into perspective.


Now I'm imagining them sitting down to eat, smiling politely and then all just grabbing and maniacally chugging huge gallon glasses of water, spilling down their faces and shirts as they desperately try to drown the dry hand of death they had been ignoring for the past 4 hours.


I hate to break it down to you, but this whole "misleading" thing was like the most basic form of sarcasm ever.


Yes.  Is there another way?


In all seriousness, shut the hell up.


Yeah, but I would have a 13 inch head start over myself at all times. Give or take a decimal point


Yeah, no shit you could have.


I was so sure it was a dildo at first...


MOMMMMYYYY!!!!! WAT ID DA APETOL SCIENCE HANDHEWD POLTOL DEVICE?????? GOO GOO!!!!


I hope he finds OP and screams at her tits after signing them.


W/e I'm sick of the hate replies.


TIFU of the year more like


But the real question is, does it make you MORE or LESS coo coo for cocoa puffs?

Also, is it bad for Jesus?

Inquiring minds want to know!


I mean.

I was playing League this new years and wished everyone in /all Happy New Years before I turned to my SO and wished her Happy New Years.

I probably need better priorities.


you probably don't understand a lot of things :( This isn't me crying on reddit.. this is me laughing at the duplicity and complete lack of intelligence that most of these reddit posts exhibit.


Who are you to judge? It's is his life.


Yeah I know... Thank who ever for rand0m people.


I feel like regardless of skill level, it's just a matter of time before free soloing will kill you.


yeah, nah... that's a pretty bad idea.


Well that was brilliant. Pretty sure that was also the first time I've ever laughed *with* Fox newscasters.


How were they implying that, you fat piece of shit?


Ask Hitler or Napoleon.


If I was king of the world, I'd ban soccer and make all of the people who play it play a manlier sport, like rugby or hockey.

Edit: Take it easy, you butt-hurt Euro-wimps.


M m m m m m monster Kill!


Oh really? So the more I could have done to prevent me reposting this in the first instance is to post it and then delete it?

The OP has ran out of steam. It's all negative votes from here on in. Deleting would be the easy way out for someone who wanted the most karma.


Wow, that's amazing. Imagine if they took a part of my penis and put it on my hand. Imagine holding hands with your girlfriend in public, shaking hands with clients, hugging your grandmother...


I just defended somebody from being insulted who didn't do anything do deserve it. =)


**SPACESTURBATION IS CONFIRMED.**


Since you're into synthetic pussy, why not just save a lot of steps & just get a fleshlight?


> シ

He seems nice.


**UPVOTE THIS COMMENT IF YOU THINK REDDIT IS BEING RUINED BY FUCKING ATHEIST FAGGOTS**


Uncooked pop tart??!?!?! Come on!!


Already graduated from one of the most prestigious dental schools in the USA sir, I'm long past primary school.


This some grade A 4chan level of autism right here


So they would rather me talk a bunch of crap instead of LINKING TO THEIR REDDIT?

How else are people OUTSIDE of [/r/christianity](/r/christianity) supposed to even read about it?

Its like North Korea or something.


Ride the karma train... irl? Seems unethical but has to work.


Yes I do, and I'm glad that I am open to this "bullshit" because I was able to help hundreds of pple in these past few years overcome their physical and/or emotional issues thanks to the training I have gotten in doing EFT and PLR.

If you were to loosen up on your beliefs a little, you may find a whole new perspective on dealing with your issues.


Not at all. I knew I had a lot of punching to do the next day :)


DAE _______ GAME IS STRONG/ON POINT/ON FLEEK??

I'm so sick of this generation's shitty vernacular. Every time I hear it I imagine some dumbass teenager trying too hard to be cool.

EDIT: lol, so many butthurt teenagers that have to follow le trends to fit in. Typical of reddit, really. Keep downvoting, your tears are delicious :)


a crackhead who can't smoke pizza.


Wow, noob.

Edit: Wow, guess no-one gets sarcasm and I guess it wasn't funny anyways.


We drank powdered milk growing up. It was terrible. Sometimes my mom would mix a bit of cream in to make it taste better. It didn't work. UGH. Thanks for bringing up this painful memory.


and then proceed to chatter about how other rape victims should do the same goddamn thing. if it helped her, that's great. anyone who said this to me IRL would no longer be considered my friend.


i think based on my looks, most people would expect just squeaking sounds


Or, ya know, they could get a real job instead of playing games for a living. And stop pissing people off so they have to do that to them.

P.s. The guy in the video in the story need to grow a pair.


And you have just completed the test on being a father!
You made five jokes that your kid will faceplam at.
Edit: Who knew, a misspell could take you so far in life


You think piracy hurts artists. It doesn't. Countless studies have shown that it does NOT decrease the pool of actual customers (since pirates would not be buying the item anyway). The ONLY thing that hurts artists are the recording labels themselves.


Nicholas Cage looks like a hostage in every fan photo taken with him.


people need to stop using that excuse.

You knew it was a clickbait title, which is why you chose to use it.


Assholes. Then you could have died a hero. Now who knows how youll die. It may be some super stupid way like tripping on toiletpaper.


What's going on here?


11.99 gets me a 30 pack of High Life cans in Nebraska. But I have to live in Nebraska :(


Like I said earlier, I had one question, I asked it and he answered it. I then took the opportunity to state something towards him.

Many politicians forget the power of the internet and I wanted to remind him that he should protect it instead of ever going against it.

The downvotes and people being upset about my comment don't bother me.

They take this shit too seriously.


Inspirational quote of the decade.

edit:[Here you go reddit ](http://imgur.com/h2jQq)


While I agree that yes I'm doing the opposite of what I ask, be aware that I am making a statement which, as far as I know, isn't being said.


Good idea. I would also pretend not to recognize him and then I would say:

Wait a minute. I know you. You're Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. You used to play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers.


not at all like noted nigger president barack obama who has affected great and sweeping change for the better in many areas such as united states foreign policy, military spending and actions, bolstering a flagging labor force,


Do you want your daughter to become a stripper? Because that's how she becomes a stripper.


Darwin may well turn out to be incorrect, science is flawed by its very nature.


I'm typing for us both. We're in our PJ's.


What tits, those are bug bites


"Son... I think it's about time I told you about the birds and the bees... and *the bush*..."


How does it feel to bea vapid waste of flesh


Liberal because I have sympathy for real people who are identifying as their true gender as backed up by science?


I knock em dead

Edit: Thanks for the gold!


Get it guys!

Because I'm so goddamn jaded that (and try to keep up with me here) I have to suck the fun out of everything I come in contact with !

Edit: down vote harder bitches I can't feel it.

Another edit: is it in yet?

Edit the third: that was rather anticlimactic. You pant loads are weak as hell. I expected more from you. I'm not angry, just disappointed.


Good night everyone, see you all tomorrow.


There were some spam messages like when your facebook gets hacked that I didn't add in and yeah I used to talk to him when I was 15 until he started texting me nonstop and told me he loved me and he had already been out of highschool for about a year


Everyone throws this term around like it's common knowledge THE FUCK IS IT


lol, quit being such soft puppy ass bitches


He didn't understand the joke.  What an elitist!


And the crushed recipe please?
Edit: thank you for the gold, whoever you are :)


> rad

Are you in the same class as the young gentlemen that wrote said poem? Christ.

Edit: Shit I forgot 14 year olds could have reddit accounts, also people with neckbeards.


If it doesn't mean 'not safe for lunch' this is going to be really awkward.

EDIT: [*sigh*](http://i.imgur.com/Hygi8DS.jpg)
EDIT: [*sigh^2*](http://i.imgur.com/2JQIZvC.jpg)
EDIT: [*sigh^3*](http://i.imgur.com/NI1vKhx.jpg)


Har dee har, because women who don't look classically feminine aren't really born women. See, it's funny because it's stupid.


The challenge is to do it with someone you haven't done it with yet.


You guys really hate the gays here don't you.


Let's face it. You'd promote this guy to lead, have him hire consultants/new emps and train them his ways. After that project is successful you'd lay off your original data entry team and rewrite your training material to reflect the automation techniques.


2 months ago. OMG! It's **BLASPHEMY!**

I'm still kicking your ass all over reddit. ;-)

Sit back, and enjoy the show *newbie.*


his shoes are still on, story checks out


It doesn't matter to me *who* has this problem. People could  understand frustration and their possible role in it. It's this lack of empathy that has created the problems in the world today, from the most important, life and death, to the trivial, r/reddit.


**NNNNEEEEEERRRRRRDDDDD!**


Here, let me put a fucking bullet in your head to resolve that situation. Dumbfuck


A penny, and a 1972 dime with a Roosevelt imperfection, today worth exactly 29 cents


Please edit out everything after the first sentence.


Or god damn Autozone.

*Get in the zone* (machine noises) *Autozone*


You know what other area is merciless? /r/spaceclop. They have shunned me from the sub even after all my ambassador efforts.


Wait, does the second guy kill himself *because* the first one went to Mars?


Introspection is examination of your own thoughts and feelings. An introvert is someone primarily concerned with their own thoughts and feelings.

Therefore, in this context, we can assume that being "too introspective" could also be described as being an introvert.

TL; DR Close enough.


Why should I change my name, he's the one who sucks!


What the fuck...this is so gay.


2 - I'd dump a woman who tried to pull that crap on me. If I was acting shady, fine. But in this case, it's not sweet. It's distrustful.


We've been together for 5 years. I was actually saving money to buy her an engagement ring.


My condolences on the 76ers game.


MY MOMMYY SAYD DAT DIS ID WAT DA WEDDITORS DO WEN DEY NOT BUSY GETTING FATT GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You gave up Katy Perry for friendship? It's like I don't even know my own gender anymore.


So you hate unnecessary rape, slaughter and depravity but you're all for the people who CHOOSE to participate in such inhumane acts?


damn computer scientists


Glove in german is literally "hand shoe"

Edit: 50 replies telling me things I already know or just repeating what I said.


False, I do.

Lol, idiot.


I didn't realize that was your username and I just thought you guys had a really weird way to say "party time" for 3 year olds.


Editing ini files isn't that hard, especially for the kind of user that goes looking on forums for a solution in the first place.


Joke's on him - she's now the world's best Minesweeper player.


That is to much of a blanket statement, there are so many different types of anime that saying "I hate anime" is absurd. It's like saying "I hate movies" or "I hate books" it's not a Genere it's a style.


If you tell us what you want to do, we can spread around the internet until it *is* a myth, and then submit it to you guys. Game the system!


people are dyin and youre cryin about a computer like a lil bitch way to go kid youre a waste of toilet paper. downvoted.


> Jeremy Clarkson being run over by a ~~Prius~~ bicycle


Thanks, would you recommend B&W I, II, or Deluxe Edition?


On mobile - it shows up as 1043. It's actually 10 raised to the 43rd.

:) just to clear up any confusion.


i figured.... i saw this on another site.


Do you know why all Jewish men have to be circumcised?

Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's at least 10% off...


This is the most beta thing i've ever read in a while. You might be right, but dang this is beta.


I'm not racist. I just work in the restaurant industry.


Men oppress women, white people oppress black people, reverse discrimination isn't a thing. Women and black people deserve their own safe spaces.


Saudi women don't shave.


How *very* dare you tell everyone how you voted. Didn't you know, folks around here hate that stuff?


"We regret being caught."


Cool, I've got 3 weeks to blow my brains out.


Dubai is a city created by a six year old with an unlimited budget.

"I want a ski hill!"

But Timmy, we're in the desert.

"Then put it in the mall!"


>oh fuck off you stupid bot

No.

>the statistics prove the voting isnt affected

More accurately: "An analysis of the statistics with a conclusion announced before the analysis was done, using flawed methods and an incomplete and badly chosen sample, prove the voting isn't affected."

The analysis was shit.


> Drank too much beer afterwards and didn't win the comp

What a fitting ending


First they elect a guy who was involved in riots as a PM and now one of the politicians funding violence? Fuck India seriously, pathetic country.


it only looks perfect on TV!


It was a typo dumb ass.


I hate this guy but I love that he exists


You're all Faggots below me.

Edit: Only 100 downvotes? Not deleting it. Bring it on Faggots.


Jesus, I thought you meant she was dead!


Oh, my bad, I didn't realize that when we define sexism we do it in a very narrow frame applicable to only one instance on the internet rather than be realistic.  I'm not debating whether or not he's a sexist, I'm just correcting what you believe the definition of sexism is, which you agreed is judging people differently.

Just thought I'd clear that up for you x2


Goddamn shit got dark. What did you say?


What the fuck. How does shit like this still get upvoted?


That's a great point, except I(and the director) used the term "historical fantasy". They weren't "super interested" in realism, just like Star Wars wasn't. They(for the first three movies anyway) went to locations and used little touches of realism to add to the "feel" of the movie.

Also the undead pirates weren't the ones who could summon the Kraken. That was Davy Jones in the second movie.


Cruel twist? No. Appropriate? Meh.  I mean, how many people were exposed [This is my edited portion which seems to have offended many folks.](http://content.pimp-my-profile.com/graphics/set10/sorry.gif)

EDITED: Because I'm as ass.


At first, I was thinking we would just scale up Falcon Heavy, but it looks like it probably makes more sense just to have a single monster boost stage.


First. World. Problem.


A boner in the hand is better than a boner in a bush wait


> that sniveling little weasel could manage to bring with his "close friends".

It's a little crass of you to join in with TB on bullying some poor kid who just wanted to be left alone.


Also I don't think he knows what a barometer is. Because the term is moral compass. A barometer measures atmospheric pressure.


If you can prove he doesn't do his job, sure, but he, JUST LIKE YOU, is allowed his own opinion


Fitness in general, really. Running, pushups, pullups, dips, all free. Cardio doesn't cost a dime.


Hiring assassins to kill people = safe option amirite? Selling weapons, poisons, and fraud related items?  Psh a true patriot recognizes their right to own those items in an unrestricted fashion.


I see these types of videos all the time. You wouldn't think so, but there are hundreds of videos of guys jerking off with their friends online on popular sites.

Sorry about it, next time be more careful! People like you get trapped in omegle/chatroulette every day.


I felt the cringiest(sp) part of the video was that there's a room somewhere full of people with nothing better to do than watch a dork dressed like an elf play video games as quickly as possible.


"Dammit Artgum, I'm an astrophysicist, not an ornithologist."


So not funny. **downvoted.** I speak for most Redditors here in saying that Wayne Brady is only funny to uneducated white people :-) Most of my close black friends know he is an Uncle Tom :-)

Edit: I'm not sure why I am getting downvoted. I did not make any racist comments. Notice how it was my black friends that called him an Uncle Tom. Can you idiots get off the internet please?


He found a million dollars in cash on the floor and retired


Here's to hoping he dies next deployment so she'll be single and vulnerable...


You always dribble before you shoot. Just like basketball.


What you have described is the likely outcome if the mother is a narcissist or abusive in some other way. If that is the case, the situation will only get worse anyway, and the daughter needs to start searching for alternative living arrangements.


Aaannd that's why you shouldn't learn how to have sex from watching porno.


This is anything but a shit post. Clearly you haven't played the game. Because anyone that has would agree with this post 100%


I'm surprised how many people seem to have enjoyed these movies without realizing this.. I mean, that's the shtick.


You = guy.

You = sucked you's dick

You = sucked guy's dick.

Sucked guy's dick = gay.

You = gay?

Are my calculations correct?


I remember reading about a redditor who was singing his bank pin to himself while walking to the ATM.


> Why the fuck would you let someone talk to you like that?

Downvote.


It's also fucking delicious.


Of course, you are the sole authority on lifestyle choices right? Ever think that different people have different views of a good lifestyle? And i have more than enougj in savings to verify that i am making good lifestyle choices.


It works though. I've never gilded my own comment or post because I'm broke. But if I see a comment with gold (unless it's a wall of words, in which case, fuck that shit) I will read it. Every single time.


> You can hear it in his voice,

No you fucking can't. Its called an accent.


I'm sorry but this is so goddam hilarious. OP has tiny niche problem, knowledgable guy comes in and illuminates all of us. Everyone's in awe of his expertise. Then, the next post, this guy recommends OP gets arm-less Morpheus glasses. Reddit: "knowledge without style"


*Read the post again. Just because it is a site that hosts videos does not mean it is the same as youtube. Plus I am pretty sure less than 0.0001% of youtube's content is indie films that don't exist anywhere else. I am talking about a site that specializes in JUST that, as in 100%.*


He's definitely got a Dennis Reynolds vibe about him.


Girls love to keep guys "on the hook". I haven't met a single girl yet who doesn't subconsciously do this. OP needs to make his feelings absolutely clear, it's out of line, BUT there is an element of mistrust on his side I think. They will have to come to a compromise - children with an ex ALWAYS make things especially awkward.

Sorry for the judgement of OPs gender!

Edit: woo downvotes!


I kidnap her and bury her with a backhoe.


The proposition that anti-vaccers are shitty does not make sense at all. That is a generalisation, a transfer and a demonization. Those are propaganda techniques that are used when you do not have real arguments.


fertilized eggs over his hammy


I'm only 14 years old, this website is teaching me so much about the adult world. I love reddit, it's the father I never had,lol


They asked me to do the voice. I was going to do it but it was a scheduling thing. I'm a big Seth MacFarlane fan! I can't wait for the new cosmos he is doing with Neil De Grasse Tyson.


this is hardly a painful death.


I usually just jizz on my chest and then leave it there

Edit: This is my highest voted comment ever. Great.


I used to be prettay good, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


Compliment that man more! He's working hard and could use some encouragement from his main lady!


You're probably not even 80 so stfu nub.


1. Take pill.

2. Die.

3. Come back to life without any consequence.

4. Be immortal because you already died and you can't die more than once. Convice people that you're the second coming of Christ.

5. ?????

6. Prophet.


I only have 3 one dollar bills in there. the bulk of that (~40 bills) is $100 denominations, about 35 $20 denominations.

I might exchange them all for $1 bills, and fill a kiddie pool with them and jump in for fun!


Get sued by the people who make The Purge


Court documents are public unless its family court or extreme circumstances where discretion is necessary.


Scientists say the first person to live to 150 is alive right now. I believe I am that person.


Here's another angle of the crash unfortunately she just wasn't paying enough attention. [link](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0&feature=youtube_gdata_player)


He installed it and rang.


Why are you inferring OP is a liar? Unfortunately, these kind of things happen all the time.


I can't stop writing 1683 on my checks. Where has the time gone?


How is babby formed? Too soon?


Yeah that's what makes it even better.


I can't stand this weird faggot. He needs to be killed.


My only regret is that i have....boneitis.


nope, there are no upvote arrows

edit: it's true


In the top 3 issues we need to tackle for the long term as a people.

1. Global Warming.
2. Antibiotic Resistance.
3. Cyber hacking on military - eg- drones being hacked, etc.


Ah, its just a little more impressive that its mostly high denominations.

Happens the same way with only a few grand but in 20's.


Okay...people keep asking me for the cover files so here they are:

http://imgur.com/a/n07S8


Accused, not convicted.

Learn the fucking difference.

EDIT:
Love the downvotes, c'mon bring me some more. 'Cause it's just so classy to joke about rape...


Grossest Bane cosplay ever.


i used to pee while standin up but then i took an arrow to the knee ^__^ LOL

edit ok wtf, why the downvotes? jeez fags i was jus writing a comment 0__0

ok edit number 2. seriously? IT WAS JUST A FUCKING JOKE.

edit 3 fuckin gay ass website it was just an joke


Oh god, I can feel time.


It sounded to us that he was trying to use his popularity to gain finical benefit from it.

If he just edit that part out or made it clearer we would have put it back, he decided to ignore our request or even respond to us and delete all of his posts.


I actually measured this with my phone! Almost exactly 6 hours on average.


It was a really long time ago. I don't brag about my IQ anymore. Jesus dude. People change. I wish this stuff would stop being dragged up.


What a coincidence! I identify myself as a pandasexual napkin.


Me neither, your fiance's butt is disgusting.


Your principal was involved in breaking her legs?


Get/upgrade a PC you peasant


I like the concept, but really, the optics of a member of the Catholic clergy with a little boy sidekick just aren't good.


Comment of the century folks!


$10 to not be killed, a bargain


Much less good as well


It wanted to tell you a lot of secrets?


It's not a real account...


Yo bro, i'll punch that person man


With y'all's asshole attitudes I'm surprised you have a single friend.


I love you so much more now that I know this.


O no i lost my imaginary points from a website....douche


The console war is now between the Nintendo U, Nintendo 4, and Nintendo One.  No more PC because everyone knows computer games are the root of all viruses.


As it should be. >:(

Cats are wicked, evil creatures who deserve to suffer.


This reminds me of my blind uncle - I had to be about 10 or so and was walking him to the bathroom, and as we arrived I asked "Want me to turn the light on?" (not thinking/being a kid)

His response: "Why? You wanna watch?" Classic

 Man, I miss my uncle.


Say you have this C++

    switch(x){
      case 0:  a();
      case 1:  b();
      case 2:  c();
      default: done();
    }

You can't do that in Rust, because match doesn't do fall through

**Edit:** Nice downvotes folks! I'll be using Haskell instead. LOL at this "systems programming language" with a bunch of crybabies and zealots and fuck muhzilla.


I was Marine artillery and I know we killed people, many people. I feel pretty tore up about these things from time to time. Just doing a job my ass. I've seen the feeds from us dropping HIMARS rounds on buildings...we fucked shit up. Dont know where I was going with this. Real killers dont brag, we mourn.


I loled so fucking hard.


Except for the part that just happened.

Edit: please stop explaining the cliché.


False.

Only on reddit could someone karma whore sealing tiles. I downvoted for the Portal reference.

Looks like I am headed back to 9gag for real content.


How many people have you asked out?


inb4 idiots drag up shit from 1000 years ago,

**SEE THIS DINOSAUR DREW THE PLANS FOR A TOUCHSCREEN IN THE ROCK WITH ITS CLAW, APPLE DUNT INVENT NUTHIN!**


/r/theydidthemath

Edit: Haha, I get it, "Monster Math." Now shut up.


No dude. This is worse