At the time I could hear people saying/screaming STOP BITING HER, I was thinking damnnnnn, she gone crazy as fuck, who bites someone? Oh wait, it's me she is biting...


I'm saying, cheating is cheating and cheating is wrong.
you have a problem? the game is 50+hours long. if that isn't long enough for you then.. well.. I don't know..


Yeah kids don't go on as many field trips these days, what's up with that?


....that made you laugh your ass off? are you high, or just proud of the fact you know what beerpong is?


I was using my note 4 and like wtf is a 360 degree video. Then I coughed and the whole shit moved and I was like. OHHHHH


You need to be able to deal with it. Or don't upgrade.


You don't cook it to eat it cold.


Time to show what actual Capitalism looks like.


I like the death threats followed by "get a job".


The fact that you really think this way is just sad. I am glad I am an old fart and will die before I have to live too long in the world you are makeing for the future.


THIS IS MY TREE. THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT, BUT THIS ONE IS MINE.


Good thing not everyone agrees with you


Settle down there, Frank.


if that's true it's epicly funny and i hereby declare my undieing respect for their greatness.


She was clearly talking about masturbation.


You shouldn't let other peoples opinions of you change anything... That's not what life is about... and if it bothers you that much, I'm sorry to say, you're doing it wrong.


**whips cat by the tail at moth*


Hook up gamefreak with SquareEnix.


You lucky son of a bi***. EVERY. TIME. I. MENTION. MY GIRLFRIENDS DEAD MOTHER. SHE BAWLS.


Signed in just to upvote this
Edit: well fuck you too Reddit


Comcast?

Edit: thank you! :)


I'm trying to figure out what was so wrong in your post that made everyone downvote it into oblivion, here have an upboat!


I got back from a long trip away from Canada, went grocery shopping, and was pushing my cart and texting, so I wasn't watching where I was going. Slammed straight into some big guy looking at cereals. He apologized to me. Good to be home.


downvoted for "a smile feel".

^^I ^^hope ^^this ^^doesnt ^^catch ^^on ^^^its ^^^the ^^^most ^^^retarded ^^^thing ^^^I've ^^^heard ^^^on ^^^the ^^^internet


Yeah this part made me laugh the most. I grew up in central Africa and it's sad to say that this is probably the most acceptable way to explain some things. I am so impressed with this guy; makes me wonder what he could be doing if he had the opportunity.


Now you can't even collect them with silk touch.


YOU FUCKER I JUST PISSED MYSELF.


I'm actually Chinese.


upvote for speaking the truth


More than enough.

**Edit** Jeez, I guess not then. I'm just fucking tired of seeing that ugly Grier face over and over.


She's plotting to kill you.  I wouldn't eat anything she's cooked you from now on, at least until you've developed a tolerance to iocane powder.


He just turned 1... and I don't know if he's gay. But he **will** be raised in a household that supports gay rights.


Good thing you explained the joke to the guy who made the joke he could have been confused.


> While he is strictly religious, he is a great person to hang out with and get to know.

You obviously need better friends.


If I ever meet Bill Clinton I'm going to ask him that too.  It'll be like a conspiracy.


Since one of the responsibilities of the sous chef is to manage the kitchen and staff - it would seem that the real source of the problem was you.


This is the most Australian thing I've ever read


Hmm, have you labeled as "Homophobe"


"Excuse me sir? Would you like us to gift wrap your cookies for you? You seem to have dropped them horizontally, at a higher than normal velocity, on my boss."


Only in San Francisco is that a big deal.


Still sat here whispering your sound effects and laughing my ass off, they're quite accurate.


Shit, secret's out. Now that my karma could be affected, I've suddenly been persuaded of the error of my ways and I will be a good boy.


Diving into hash oil would fucking suck


?

I said that we had a poll about GG, and we decided to ban it. I personally agree with the ban, and I expressed that in IRC. I've said multiple times that I think GG drama doesn't belong in /r/games, so I don't really see why that conversation would make me stay up at night.


Amateur. I use my own body to ID pills.


He did everyone a favor, the guy because he was fucking fat, and the rest of us because of increased medical costs due to being a fucking fatass


You want a creepy comic? [Here](http://comic.naver.com/webtoon/detail.nhn?titleId=350217&no=31&weekday=tue)

Edit; Thanks for the gold.  I've have more profanity hurled at me in this comment, so I guess y'all like this comic.


Unlike Manlett, I'm not trying to hide it.


Hey now, that's not *war* that's *genocide.*  Not even close.


I'm confused, why are all the replies here downvoted into oblivion? Is there a bad joke I'm not getting?


They won't match the performance of my $350 Monster gas-injected psyllium-husk muthafuckas.  Oh wait, yes they will.

Whenever I order HDMI cables I order a bunch just so that any time anyone asks me I tell them "DON'T BUY HDMI CABLES AT THE STORE!  HERE, TAKE A FREE ONE.  TAKE TWO.  3FT, 5FT, 10FT?  I GOT WHAT YOU NEED".


Hitler had a pretty successful career and millions of dollars too, doesn't mean he is a great person.


According to my guy, I tend to spread eagle early in the night, then grip the blanket in both hands and roll myself into a little burrito, leaving him freezing.


I'm sorry...which game was based in the Orange Islands? None? Okay, then it doesn't count.


I feel like that person isn't mentally stable enough to legally possess a weapon.


Seriously. They should wait till they have a child. Then Steal it and never give it back. PRANK'D


fuck your comment, READ MINE!!!!


You should see her during bukkake week.


I always had dreams...aspirations and I finally made it. I'm a rockstar!


Oh shut the fuck up.

Reddit is so sexist, but a comment calling us sexist is top rated.  by those same people. uhm k. Circlejerk is still leaking.


Strap children all over yourself, become invulnerable as per the universes rules.


maybe assholes like yourself can kindly go fuck yourself so we don't have to read your obnoxious comments on reddit.


"Sir, this is a no flex zone"


**BOOBS**

I WIN


That's romantic not weird, you asshole. Stop making us all look bad. Coincidentally I hope it works out for the pair of you because I would hate to see the ugly side of that habit...


Yet men tend to be the ones that prefer sex... Fuck logic.

No idea why I'm being downvoted here... anyone care to explain?


I'm - listening - THE ROOM, next question!


trees have never ruined anyones life.


Yep, it was definitely *at least* 11 years before radio.


Faggot

Edit. C'mon faggot lovers, bring on more downvotes in this circle jerking website that loves niggers and queers. 77 is nothing. Let's break 500 downvotes you dicklovers.


As an octopus, bflfhfbglghflbglfh.


No, most people there are like that, at least that I deal with. They certainly will never come out and agree that they are insanely biased, but it's bad. Monstrous (all negative) inferences are made about women in any given situation posted there solely based on gender.


An average Wednesday for OP.


Playing video games every day for 10 years doesn't make you "part of the industry".


You can still be an idiot and be a millionaire.


He's building up to use rage next turn...


I don't own fans. I have central air in my house. First World Problems.


I want G-Sync so that I can use ULMB. Free Sync is not as good as G-Sync because it doesn't support blur reduction.
EDIT: All 120Hz+ G-Sync displays support ULMB when G-Sync is disabled. FreeSync displays are not required to support any form of blur reduction, making G-Sync a superior standard.


I'd like to have sex with him, if you know what I mean.


Regi owns Solomid.net


The fags? Yeah get them.

Edit: really? Nobody got the south park reference. I in no way think bikers are fags. I'm sorry


I dunno bro I'm pretty sure I remember bringing up your wifes stanky pits before in the conversation.


You stop it right now


brace yourselves: the atheists replies are coming

edit: this is why i only post in r/trees....


'To Tetris' needs to become a widespread verb.  Now.


*Then you must kill MacBeth.*


What does beta mean? And meta?


Yes, Robin was a great guy, a great human being.


Another idiot who doesn't know the rules.


What the hell sort of person goes into *education* as a career field and ends up upset when a child (particularly a disabled one) manages to fucking learn something? This boggles my mind.


You've got to just move on. Don't call the cops or anything. You're only setting yourself up for trouble. Move on and chalk it up as life experience.


You are a true friend and a goat


I used to be a 9gag kid, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


I'd expect this one to be "Coolest fucking thing I've seen all year" and then the top comment would be "I don't know that lava looks pretty hot" and the one under it would be "You got that right ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

Both comments would probably get gilded.


how many times is this South Park video going to be reposted to the front page? /s


And the men have roughly 1 week of stubble for months on end.


Just to be clear, hitting GM isn't anywhere close to competing at the top level.


naw man, a downvote. *and* a zero.


He's not remotely on the same planet as Messi


If I am screwed you are all screwed.


The wedding is often referee to the happiest day of life. Why would you be against feeding a hungry man if he is unobtrusive?


I've never understood part of this system: If the driver loses the duel and becomes the new 4-way alderman, what happens to the driver's car? Most of the time I've seen it just sit there for hours until the Courtesy Patrol drives it two blocks northeast, but at least once I've seen the old alderman hop in the car and drive off. Is that normal?


This. Have an upvote.


Socks with a $5,000 suit? CMON


The point is any of the nerds in our S6 shop are probably more competent than you, we do not like you civilians over here.  You get in the way, whine, and are useless.  You can't do anything we can't, gtfo no one is here to protect you.  I pray that IDF mangles your body.


Don't worry. Where Anne hath a will, Anne Hathaway.


Drunk Mario is **le** best.


16 year old girls are the biggest Clint Eastwood fans


Hey, dumbass - we don't register weapons where I live.


I wanted like most naiive girls to be a star. I did become a star though--to my husband and children.


Holy shit I would totally Reddit gold that comment if I had any


This is actually good. He's not going to answer any of the ridiculous ones, and the more political ones will receive a political bullshit answer.


bet he couldn't see her clearly.


Isn't this normal though? To make sure she doesn't throw anything important away?


How's Balotelli working out for you?


So a full-20 screw is $1600?


I'll try that when I get home. The criticism still stands. Try not cussing so much, it makes you look like a mouthy little shit.


They are when it's the NSA doing it, but if it's Google they welcome it with open arms.


No, it's basic hygiene.


I worked at a senior home and it was so easy for people to fall. Very easy for something minor to be something major.

One person had fallen and broken their hips. They said they felt fine but we talked them into going to the hospital. Later on they broke their wrist. Same thing. Didn't feel it but it was broken.


"So choose your title carefully -- make it useful, provide context, and be descriptive." -

From http://www.reddit.com/help/faq#Cananyonesubmitalink


We eat their meat, organs, marrow and sometimes blood. Why would milk be some strange separate substance? We would immediately know that human milk was fine, so why NOT try other species milk would be the better question. Milk from other humans is a societal issue, and a strawman that has nothing to do with the original issue.


oh, he misspelled a word? what a cringe!

psst..... that ^ is sarcasm. it's not cringy at all.......the real cringe is comments such as yours. this isn't language arts class, u fr*aking nerd


He should consider himself lucky. My parents would have just had the "Monster" part crossed out.


its called cheating. only reason knuckleball wasn't outlawed is because they're waiting for the last guy to retire. after dickeys gone its banned. should be doing it sooner before all the copycats come in.


They lifted the sheets and noticed us collectively sucking their dicks for years and felt it was atleast polite to acknowledge that we were down there slurping away


I read it like [this] (http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/19977342.jpg).


That's why we have Windows 10 after 8


Frankly, I'd bust your head with my non-existent golf club.

Keep on trolling!


Ah yes, the old: Fake a cardiac arrest and steal the panties trick.  Works every time.


Hbox is an fucking asshole and anyone who doesn't see it is blind as fuck.


She heard you fine, she just didn't wanna deal with none of that shit.

*Edit* give the people what they want.


Probably?

I'm certainly lacking the subtleties of expressing my meaning in english, but comparing movie's such as birdman and avengers against each other is not really effective. Meant for different purposes and audiences so the distinction movie and film are in my opinion very valid.


I definitely expected this story to end with a 4chan-style trolling:
"Then she took me home and plugged me in to a charger because my batteries were low. I am a smartphone."


it def. looks like a continuing self-harmer.


Holy shit, you win this thread.  Congratulations.  You did a somewhat dickish, 100% justified thing to a kid and his parents, and it was awesome.


Yawn.

I spent two years considering myself an MRA. Thankfully I've recovered.

having walked more than a mile in those shoes, my assessment is simple: if you subscribe to /r/mensrights, you're either a misogynist or a fool.

So this dreck of a woman hating comic should do well there.


Never has this image been more appropriate.


I do believe these are educated topics that maybe warrant a little more discussion than this, especially when celebrating a man's work and life. These are very profound motifs that have so much potential for discussion and thought. We won't be talking about this tomorrow or the next day or the next. I came here to see how people were moved by his work and conversation seemed a little weak.


It's an S*Tree*D!

(I'm terribly sorry).


Haha it sounds like you play skyrim, thats cute try darksouls when you actually want a challenge/never ending game.


YOUR USERNAME AND YOUR REPLY ARE HUMOROUSLY AT ODDS


It amuses the court to see folks like this oblivious to such matters


Nice try, person I don't know.


I used to voice Bender and Jake, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Where can I find these fast-moving super-beautiful women who just want sex?


90s was the worst decade in the past century. That's a fact.


"If you don't stop sleeping on my couch I will BURN THIS HOUSE DOWN"


Of all the shitty portal posts we get in this sub, this one is actually really cool. I love the fact that it's a bluish tinge and actually connects with something far away. Is it an orange tinge on the West coast office when they see you?


DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH, EH?  MAYBE SOME YELLING WILL HELP!


He ment the bats flying around


Because she was found when someone betrayed them by telling the Nazis of their whereabouts, not because she was shite at hiding.


>Reminds me of the constant "driving while high" argument.
"It doesn't affect my driving ability, therefore YOUR RETARDED".

FTFY


That still wouldn't be awful. A random history clear might save you from something terrible


Yeah, I said it was in the title.  I know you're busy reading my nuts but try reading the title next time.


And it's why I click away and don't go back.


protesters for civil right have been told that for 200 years...


Not with that attitude


Oh shut the fuck up srs. This is clearly a troll you dumb fuck.


He may not have written it, but he owned the hell out of it.


Well, so is reddit lol.


It was an ipod shuffle


DERMN THERTS DERERCT.


Why the...

How the...

Oh fuck it I quit. See you all later I'm moving to atlantis.

EDIT: I'm not saying we should just hand them over, I am saying it is a bit of a ridiculous situation. We shouldn't just give them to people, but everybody is losing money this way. Make the people capable homeowners/renters, and then work from there.

EDIT 2: Also I just wanna be in Atlantis.


I downvoted myself too. This is fun.


Oh I'm sure you'll become a wizard one day


Serious means a different thing to tactical, hell yes I'm going to argue semantics! A tactical discussion can have jokes, but implicit is the idea that 'we are here to discuss tactics'.

Ok. Go off and watch games then. Not sure why I need to know that. Some attempt to sign off with a dismissive line? Ok. Sure.


But I like the old meaning :(


All the way from the UK. Omg it's so far like a one day ship.

Edit: Thanks reddit! My really sarcastic comment DEFINITELY was really funny. (Ha.....ha...... D;)


Why are you measuring cucumbers in kilometers?


I like how you respond to the top comment for upvotes.


If by best you mean stupidest I agree!


Yeah, it was probably that.


just because he thinks beyonce should of won doesnt mean it wasnt a joke to go onstage.  Beck is also clearly less important and not as good as Beyonce, just saying.


Well, it was about that time that I notice that the squirrel was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the Proterozoic era.


You think wifi names are a great way to express opinions.


no, /u/piggydog  just saw the [simpsons facts post on the front page](http://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/2reik0/interesting_facts_about_the_simpsons/) and decided to make this TIL post for that precious karma...


Canada is a joke, nobody gives a fuck about them.


At the end someone in the theater said very loud "FUCK THAT"


Oh dear, you work in construction and you have ZERO idea.


it's "lo lo's" fool


Read that as "That mustafa been unreal."


DOOOOOHOHOHOHOHO

but seriously she probs did.


If only I could give more upvotes. Well played.


under the "generous willing to pay for travel" section


HAH, YOU ARE QUITE THE COMEDIAN SIR, LIKE THAT ONE GUY THAT MADE RAMPART.  BORNHEUTTER I THINK WAS HIS NAME.  MORE LIKE BONERHOTTER OR SOMETHING JUVENILE LIKE THAT.

TOTALLY NOT A TRAP THOUGH.


I can just imagine you in the cinema screaming,''Why are people dying! I thought this romantic comedy!''


Nope. That's not how it works.


The first time I saw condensation coming out of the air vents on a plane I thought I was going to die. I was sure it was smoke or poisonous gas. However, I didn't say anything.. I just sat there quietly dying until someone pointed out it was just condensation.


Not directly, but they propagate the crimes of their fellow jews by feeding their propaganda.


Nah, I didn't start beating women till high school


Says the guy who gets all of his "friends" to send hate mail to anyone that makes a joke he doesn't like.


meh... their motives are questionable. but if the video money brings them to help a random hobo, why not let them. If they really are  that self entitled, they wouldn't even think about helping (giving away 100 $) in the first place.

so youtube money for them - but 100 bucks for the hobo. there are much worse situations with youtubers to complain about..


 > Of course, it's probably more likely he just thought you were cute and wanted to test his boner control.

This.


It's a riddle. Two guys destroyed your bike with a crowbar and a bat. One of 'em wasn't me.


Let it flow through you


*Google uncommon problem

*Find the one thread on Google that perfectly matches your problem from 6 years ago

*Read four pages of people trying and failing to fix the problem

*Near the end, still looks good, someone posts one last suggestion

*OP comes back with "that didn't work, but I fixed it anyway, thanks all"

*Set fire to internet

Edit: Thanks for the gold!


Gay. Who said it was rape?


Amen. When I'm at home, I take my pants and underwear off. In public bathrooms, I'll just pull one leg out. I can't stand pooping with my ankles locked together. Gotta get a nice wide stance.


I really hate to nitpick but please use some commas. You went as far to make new lines for every sentence but no commas when listing with a colon.


Unusual request, but not actually ridiculous when you hear the reason for it.


> If you are doing it for girls you might as well get surgery to improve your face instead because that matters more

Let's not get carried away.  Women barely care about a guy's face.  I've seen too many really ugly tall guys who easily attract women to believe that.


Very. Most people think I'm dead.


me too.  i'm in chicago, good thing you posted this on the internet.


It was you.  From the future. You see, you WERE kidnapped that day.  Kidnapped and sold into slavery.  But you from the future managed to get your hands on a time machine.  So you went back in time, and walked you home to keep yourself from being abducted.  Aren't you glad you're you?


No, my OCD says all plants must be fully grown before harvesting. Not doing so results in Herobrine and Notch getting married.


In the summer it would be sunscreen.

"Did you get behind your ears? I don't smell any sunscreen. What about your thighs? I don't *care* if you're wearing jeans, Reader's Digest said that UV rays can penetrate denim and cause instant cancer. Did you use spray sunscreen? That stuff doesn't work. What about under your eyes? Don't forget sunglasses, eyes burn, too!"


I'll be sure to tell your fiancé that


And she won't see a single minute in prison.


I used to live in comics but then I took an arrow to the knee.


This made me feel proud and im not even Jordanian.


Can you retards quit posting the same shitty post advertising your shitty sub in every fucking thread in r/fitness?  Thanks.


Not at first.  When I started driving at 14 we didn't need one.


How about Reddit is the FAQ? Prick...


Grow up and do coke like an adult.


you mean when the game will be full of bugs where it is nearly impossible to play it? oh wait


She means 2 scrotums, unless you actually have a pouch for each nut. Then we're gonna need some pics.


I swear this girl goes to my school I have school in acouple if hours and technically have her for first period.
Edit:why the down votes like the fuck y'all it's hit like I was going to take a picture for proof like the fuck?


If y= 3.5 then x must equal HRRRRRRRRNNGGH


You don't think so? If you were wearing it and someone said, "Hey that's great but you used the wrong font.", you wouldn't see that as unnecessarily rude and/or critical?


No it didn't. The "Because it's real" scene isn't Thranduil commenting on her and Kili, it was Thranduil recalling his own pain about Legolas' mother. He was still reliving it when he saw Legolas.


he wasn't commenting and enjoying he was being a smartass.  and again, the day I have to check the rules to share content I think is cool, something has gone wrong.


so what you go to like a condom tailor?


Yeah because fuck people who don't share the exact same brain as you do.


It's where all my posts go to die... :(


pretend to be friendly 'cause its a sport?  sportsmanship dude.  I'm sure if Sharapova called Serena a dirty skank on twitter, the Aus Open would have gotten monster ratings but you know.. tennis is a legit sport.

Dana says he wants MMA to be mainstream but he always loves to focus on stupid beef/hype that makes the sport so childish.


This would be a really great way to self-destruct our friendship.


I would've gone with gorilla. More akin to the op. Chipmunks are pretty small.


If a girl still wants to ride you after you tried to stick foreign objects in her pooper and she wasnt into it, give her a cookie shes the real mvp.


> The only way to stop them, is to take action.

LOL. Have fun with your childish revenge fantasy


Or as OP calls it, the garden hose method.


uh ? wtf ... a male is a male and nothing's gonna change this -_-

OP, you are not a girl. Even if you change your sex, you won't change who you are. Don't do stupid thing and enjoy your life how is it supposed to be.


I SEE THE MUSLIM GIRL. WE ALL SAW THE MUSLIM GIRL. DONT ACT LIKE THAT WASNT THE FIRST THING YOU FOCUSED ON.


We have 17 moderators.


In the world of memes, I would like to see Bill Clinton replace Chuck Norris. Chuck has proven himself unworthy.


> You think this is a Pro-Paul article, correct?

No, I don't you ignoramus! I pointed out to you two posts up that *it's in the fucking headline!* you self-righteous prick!


This one evaded me for quite a while too. I figured I put my pee stick in her pee hole. Makes some sense.


Wow, another gay rights post in /r/atheism.

Seriously, fucking retards need to go back to their own subreddits.

I don't give a fuck about gay rights. If I did, I would subscribe to their faggy ass subreddit.

Just because I don't believe in god doesn't mean I support cock suckers.


That sounds like a polite way of questioning his sexuality.


Scumbag PC gamers:  Complain when your computer can't run a game.
Complain when the developers lower the system requirements on their next game.
Edit:  Downvoting doesn't make it any less true.


I can just picture you winning some kind of lifetime achievement award later in life...

"I'd like to thank the spiders"


No you didn't 9fag doesn't belong in reddit


Thanks for bringing back the goddamn memories.


oh no, i'm not sure you understand. i don't have to use correct grammar when correcting the grammar of others on the internet.

also, prepositions. and the proscription of their placement at the ends of sentences.

see?


I had this happen to me in a public restroom of all places. It was busy and I opened my stall door and the next girl just started walking forward to get in before I could even leave!


For a lot of people, gyms seem to be a place to 'show off' to your other fit friends. If you're not already fit, you're not part of that 'club.'

It's a bunch of horse shit.


I don't eat at Arby's.


Who they know have to get places to make money, because the old people have practically stolen all of the money from the younger generations.


Our basketball hoop was a rib cage ... a rib cage!


You mean isis? Or is? Or isisssssss? They should do the last one so everyone can know they mean business. Hail cobra!


He hated doing the movie, but still considers it some of his best work, those two things are not mutually exclusive.


That doesn't change the fact that he *targeted* that guy's head. He aimed above the shoulders and should have been flagged for it.


"I bet you're too pussy to get on that bull's back..."

And thats how it started.

Edit: WHY DOES THIS COMMENT HAVE SO MANY UPVOTES?


People that make fun of others for gaming are those that do not understand gaming all together. They fail to see the indepth storytelling and how rich the characters you meet are.

If people are making fun of you for gaming, you have some shitty friends.


I like there's some kind of ninja fraud warrior patrolling the interwebs protecting vulnerable credit cards


Who would give any woman a firearm?


Do me a favor and tell him Chastain86 from Reddit said to go fuck himself.


Ooops, you're not funny.


Nope, TV remotes work using magic


And a group of idiot clapping seals barking in approval daily are hearing those jokes, no matter how sick a thinking person would be of them.


Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was glued to the first one.

Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? He thought they were playing a game.

Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was an elephant.

Courtesy of one of my high school English teachers.


Annnddd an upvote for you.


Why don't poor people just buy more money


I feel like we're breaking some incredible barrier here.

We are become death, destroyer of reddits.


But users of 4chan's /b/ are anonymous, yet they're such kind and lovely people.


how HIGH do you have to even BE just to POST something like that.........

EDIT: Goddamn, look at all of those downvotes. I wonder how many of you guys are just downvoting me because everyone else is.

EDIIT: oh wait that other guy is getting downvoted too

guess most of y'all are just anti-homestuck then


When somebody takes $1 billion from you, generally you're a little bit bitter about it.


Oh dear, an animal got scared lets get all angry about it


you'd put out if it was a playoff game


The seal is calling something gay, that is negative no matter how you spin it. We get it is a pun. I am not offended by it either, personally. This removal was about maintaining the safe space, as per the rules, which are plastered everywhere.

How many words have been written to you about this stuff shamwow? It doesn't seem like you're ever going to grasp the concept of a safe space...


"Reddit, uh, finds a way"


who the fucking fuck has "crushes" what the fuck


Because strangers are *always* pedophiles.


I find it ridiculous that you would be so disrespectful to a Catholic nun. Would you have said the same to Mother Teresa? I am absolutely certain she would agree with Sr. Lisa.


Imagine getting *mooned* by Buzz Aldrin. Full fucking circle if I ever saw it.


2/12 due to lack of originality and actual content


When my kids were little they were afraid to go to bed because they would have nightmares. So I put a little Febreeze and water in a squirt bottle and made a "good dream spray" label. I sprayed their pillow every night and they never had a problem again. They are old enough to know better now but still believe that I had a special magic sleep spray when they were little.


You won this sub

/thread.


Worst. Leprechaun. Ever.


Are you kidding?  You can clearly see the line if you look close enough, and the white car is indeed over the line, at least by a few inches.  The white car just didn't want to have to squeeze to get out of his driver's side.


Well FML posts are much shorter. Some TIFUs are like war and peace.


I post some of my blogs here.  What's everyone's problem?


Buzzfeed headline tomorrow:

You won't BELIEVE what this boyfriend did for his Princess on Valentines Day!


If (and that's a big ole "if") she held German citizenship, she held German citizenship. But that still doesn't give her German ethnicity, same as my kids wouldn't be Caddo Indians even if they would have been born in East Texas,


* people don't give that much of a shit about karma
* weird stuff actually happens


The watermark in the image give it away.


You inside my mother.

Infinite presets


I know I know.. If only it was always this easy ;)


Taxidermy.

Edit: A gold! Woo! Thank you kind sir and/or ma'am!


yeah, didn't think of that, but well... maybe next time


Better to stick to presidental dramas, comedy westerns or being-in-charge-of-Cloud-City-and-keeping-the-empire-out-of-your-business type scenarios.


lol... "hard"

...and "coming".


I was paralyzed with disbelief and then I got really sick and vomited a few times...


The narwhal is fine. We cannot allow them to take our jokes and just assume they won't come again and again for any ones we make. We cannot stand for this. Enough is enough. We must stand for Reddit. We do not negotiate with 9fags.


"You know how the media are. They wait for a mistake and that’s all you are. It happened to Hitler. No one ever talks about his paintings." -Jack Donaghy


>/b/

Please die.


Y U NO FOLLOW DOWNVOTE TRENDS??


I think it's weird how Tim Burton keeps hiring Johnny Depp to date his wife in movies. It's kind of like swinging.


Different way if thought then. I might be bitter if I did not have right also.


Excessive fur trapping is the single greatest threat to all otter species. As recently as the mid-1980s, over 30,000 pelts were taken each year for the valuable skin of the North American river otter. Hunting of other otter species continues worldwide.


Few are. Thanks for trollin!


12 pack?  alcohol poisoning?  I should die like...everyday


What dicks, this is what's wrong with the world.


If he had been the best man, she wouldn't have married the other guy.


what kinda nerd says this is glorious


So... all you need is a suit?


What's going on here?  What is this?  Is this you replying sarcastically to something I *never said*?  Is this you overreacting to me pointing out that this woman isn't one of your favorite movie stars?  And why on earth would you think I have a problem with confident ladies?  Confidence is the most attractive thing a woman can have.  I don't get you.


Just FYI, Charlie Brown isn't bald- he's supposed to have blonde hair, like his sister Sally. His design makes sense as a shorthand visual in black and white, but when they started making the cartoons in color, they kept his black and white design (rather than giving him a proper hairline) and just filled his whole head in as one color, rather than separating hair from face.


I've only read ~2000 books in the last 10 years, so I guess not.


You are what's wrong with this world.


I'm downvoting you because your post gives the impression that Jewish people create their own sense of persecution, when in reality they have suffered hugely over thousands of years. Fuck off.


>for the **autopsy**

&#3232;\_&#3232;


im worried about my poor potato.

edit: so overnight i went from plus 7 to negative 74... Reddit, why you so hard to predict?


grababushputonalittamaykup


I just laughed my ass off, and noticed you have +3 next to your name, keep up the good work.

Edit: Rule #1 of reddit, don't recognize karma as anything significant, or tell people they are funny. I sure learned my lesson.


Or just use a USB wall charger and skip all the convoluted fuckery recommended in this thread.

edit: [OK, I get it.](http://imgur.com/H0xvW1p.jpg)


>greentexting

>text not green


You wouldn't download a poster...


How's it applied idiot? All I see is a idiotic actor who should stick to acting and stop being racist himself abusing a white old man yet this Rupert never abused Aziz. Also how is muslims a race?? Love reading dumb people like yourself who comment. Haha your logic is applied back at you boom!!

No no no there was no bomb.


"The bloke who shagged a homeless bird."

Britishness of sentence = 9.8/10


downvotes don't do anything. look how many i got.

edit: also downvoting OP wouldn't have produced this hilarious display.


Well obviously he went to Utah.


Go back to the bag of chips and neckbeard nest.


Sooo, 130 inches eh? I can't say I'm not impressed.


You've come this far down into the comments, that must mean that you love eating shit from assholes.


Cracked can be funny, but

[comment continues on page 2]


Shaq is a snitch! You know what that calls for, amirite?


Once again the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!


Thanks bro finally there is somebody coming from the bisexual butter sub who knows what he's talking about.


You could write Reddit content with MadLibs.


Came here to post this


It reminded me of the news team fight in Anchorman.


I guess you could day he was grompy... YEEAAAAAAAAH


That's why I always start my cover letter by disclosing my infertility.


Sounds like your whore of a mother wasn't fulfilling her side of the deal. I don't see how this wasn't 100% justifiable. He obviously paid a lot of money to bring her to America and give you both a better life.


Yeah, when you put a qualifier like that on it it becomes less impressive. I'm probably the worlds largest military if you count largest military as the one the one with the most taxidermized Pygmy goats.


I guess we can ignore the systematic oppression of women for most of history to the current day because the MRM found maybe two legitimate complaints.

You also forgot their "most important issue:" False rape accusations.


Sad part is, it doesn't mean to kill itself. Bee stings are meant for disembowling other bugs, they're not necessarily supposed to die when they sting you. But they always do when they sting people because our skin is thicker and they can't get back out and then they rip themselves apart and it is sad.


Well that's not true. He played a joke... A dumb, poorly thought out joke. Couples do this sort of thing all the tim and there's not much to it. Calling it torment is a bit much.


He started a band. He basically retired from acting because he was rich and just did whatever the hell he wanted to.


Hope you didn't keep the evidence on your computer


He never came to my dance recitals growing up


Your actual explanation was good and useful and already ELI5. Your "ELI5 version" was more like "because I said so, honey, now drink your juice". I don't think it's good for society to pander too much to the "but i doents unnerstand" crowd.


Or *is he?*

Edit: My most upvoted comment ever is me questioning a parent if they really know their autistic child's age. Thanks, Reddit.


Female pro-porn AND anti-feminist? A billion Internet points for you.


That work for you? http://i.imgur.com/fx1Ru.jpg


*Every* place is cool if you've got Arab oil sheikh money.


Because gazuntite is an alternative way of spelling it.
I think you should have a cup of coco and calm down.


I don't have this problem with a significant other, but with my parents. It's like they went "Well, she's not home" and then toss the phone on the ground and run from it. It can be literally 30 seconds from the missed call and I won't get them.


Not a big fan of this, she's just your average cosplayer with chunky legs and the real Jessica rabbit has bigger boobs.


What pisses me off is, it is like they are saying, they would rather have a dead child than one with autism.


Thats not true my friend. You prolly dont even know half the stuff that happened.


Try to think of a good backstory when she seens your 1997 Windstar.


Is the politics boogeyman encroaching on your life of fluff and rainbows again, wookie?


I should say that gratefully, Aaron Sorkin envisioned the character as a liberal-democrat as well as catholic which reflected my own personal views with the exception of Capital Punishment - which I oppose.


I'm downvoting this, and you better just accept it


Jeff? Is this a spoiler for season four?


This user is a poster to /r/GamerGhazi, and clearly has a stake within this debate.


Well there was that [one time](http://i.imgur.com/6RvdqSD.jpg), but they didn't have families so nobody seemed to care


That last one is fucked up, oh you see these uneducated kids from broken homes let's lock them up with each other and make fun of them! HO!!!! Such “lols” these poverty stricken kids are so stupid they don't even know were having “lols.” It’s really awesome guys.

edit: Grammer

Edit 2:  How dare I go against the hive-mind

Edit 3: #downvotememore #notgivingacrap


Doesn't matter, had space.


LOL... I love spam i eat it for breakfast but nah thank you for showing me how much of a cunt you truelly are


It was originally branded as Work-Doh.


You can afford **le** alcohol but not real food?


Is it really on them though? Is it really?


Instead it was lame wanna be thug foolishness without firing!


Holy fuck I forgot about that, OP please send your brother in first

EDIT: actually the replies are right, your bro seems chill let Carly clear the house


Doesn't change what I would do.


What? No. Johnny Bravo was six years old. The way he looks and sounds is the way he sees himself. It's why he goes to school with Suzie, and why she always wants to hang out around him. It's why he never got the girl; at best they find him adorable but show no further interest and at worst ignore him outright. He's a little kid.


Came here to say this, up voted you instead.


God damn... I'm so jealous of your boyfriend.


so gender equality hurts men in hundreds of ways. just think about what you've just said you fucking mensrights retard.


He was...
[Imgur](http://i.imgur.com/gCNo3.jpg)


Random unrelated misinformed bashing of a political party you don't like isn't a joke, it's just ignorance.


Little John sounds so formal compared to Lil John.


I would have sold it too. PS4 has more games that interest me than Wii. So what?

More downvotes because of personal preference? Well alright.


You should have said that your backpack had a body in it, so it was okay.


Nobody was ever cheering Rusev.

Edit: Oh right, I'm sorry. Those were "Mother Russia" chants I was hearing every week, not "USA" chants. /s


I think most American do not like those either.


Oh good, bitching about reposts from people who never get off reddit, my favorite


Froggen: Help im getting ganked!
Shook: DON'T WORRY BUDDY, EL SHOOK IS HERE!


**ASPEN CO PEEPS DIDN'T SUPPORT THE WAR ON TERROR.  SORRY BOUT YER FRIEND.  PROBLY A GONER.  SHIVERS.**


I know, right? Kids are so goddamn clumsy...


Dumb dumb dumb.But hey who am I to judge, if you enjoy waiting tables like a 16 year old stripper, whatever makes you happy.

You had a nice job , big salary. All this I'm depressed stuff could have been changed BY YOU, quit machinima if that made u sad, join another company , surround yourself with people you love and enjoy their company and you will be happy.


Especially the part about seeing her Cannes.

EDIT: Removes extra superfluous redundant word


Being fat and having a webcam.


Ha ha, that's...

...thats...

^...I ^don't ^even


>They are the guardians of law and democracy.

Maybe in France...


I had a question about a medication for my autistic son--I just wanted to hear if anyone else had experience with it. Immediately attacked for even considering giving my son ANY medication, was in fact told to ignore his psychiatrist.


Can't wrap my head around the idea of a Libertarian Socialist...

Is that anything like a radical Conservative Progressive?


Terrence seems like a real nice guy.


Yeah too bad asian women are ugly as hell, makes us guys not want to try.


Usually when I sleep in the couch I curl up in a ball crying about my failed marriage. So it being small is not a problem.


I guess you did not read the links i gave you.  Read the second link you idiot.  I am done with you, I have you tagged now as an always downvote idiot.  fuck off if you can not read.


It kind of felt like getting shot.


I do actually. My time is very valuable to me and I do not feel as though I should be forced to waste it on stupid crap.


Major Major Major Major


Only if they show their tits and act shy


We can create a giant John Wilkes Booth


No, I'm legit. Ask me any fucking question and ill answer it like the real SBS.


Dear Kate,

Great attempt at a complete sentence there! It seems like you have an important idea that you really want to express! Try reading your sentence out loud and see how it sounds. If it's a bit weird, maybe you can reword it in a more natural manner? Keep up the good work!

That is the type of comment I'm required to leave on sentences like that.


Her house her rules. Nothing cunty about it.


reminds me of my sex life


It is just an easier way this dude is just a fucking dumbass


Clearly OP's friends grandfather was a man of sophistication and excellent taste.


who gives a fuck?....he spendt his days hunched over a computer and you are celebrating this?

good ridance


Now with added dubstep:

http://soundcloud.com/nebber-1/untitled-wub-machine-remix


I don't understand why we're being down voted. The girl clearly has no ass. I guess the majority of reddit is a bunch of neck beards who never seen or felt a real woman's ass.


This was actually something that came to my mind while typing my comment. I still don't think Genghis Khan got shit on the browsing habits of the average reddit user.


We don't care. No move the fuck on.


Haha go fuck yourself.

Seriously though, I'm not retarded right?


I made an account just to upvote this!


Roseanne is the only one that was funny Kathy is not Lisa so I would fuck her and...I would kill Lisa Lampanelli but I would have to stand in line to do it!!!!!


sounds like a great time to get in the sex industry


1000x this. "Why are all those scientists wasting their time playing with particle accelerators or looking through telescopes when they could be curing cancer?!?"

*sigh*


I'm not upset at anything that comes from these subs.  I find all of this comical, so long as it stays here.


"Accused of witchcraft, burning trial starts next week"


"Swimming in wet clothes" makes the implication that something was holding him back.


Do this, but put glitter in the water bucket. Then he'll be stabbed and he'll never be able to get the glitter out of his floor.


I resent every word of this backlash.


What do I do if my car is stuck in mats?


He's saying "and no one wants to see men's asses". um how about gay males and straight females? a cute ass is a cute ass


I will brag about it until the end of time!


go back to your indie post musical bullshit you no taste motherfucker


This is why hot guys don't post often. This is a human, not a sexual object for you to ogle. Go back to your basement, leg-beard.


>Your actions define you as a person you sociopathic chuckle-fuck.

Right. Actions. With an S. You have only seen one action of mine on the internet and think you can give me a psychiatric diagnoses because of it. It would be funny if it weren't so sad.


I asked that? Thanks for the credit anyways!


This, and the fact that all americans that I ever met are super rude, is the reason that I think america is the worst counrty in the world, if it can even be counted as a country.


FUCK THIS THREAD IS JUST **FULL** OF GEMS.


That is what was gonna say.  You reaped the Karma big time.


WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN?! WHY DID YOU LET ME PICK IT UP??? AND YOU, HANDS! WHY ARE YOU SUCH BITCHES WHEN IT COMES TO HEAT?^^Fuck ^^I'm ^^dumb.


Are you serious? It looks disgusting!


You two would be a perfect combination


He did.. Guess he didn't get as much karma as he wanted?

Edit: actually this will have been the third time...

Edit 2: the posts are still available to view on his page and also comment karma does matter to some people.


>Still awaiting "Mars expansion pack"

im pretty sure that's actually heists


They're not banned anywhere. Get off your couch and learn shit. There was a CONSERVATIVE movement (which, btw, you do understand that GamerGate is aligning itself with with a conservative movement, right?) that wanted GTA V banned from stores in Australia but...

What in the actual fuck are you even fighting for? Are you Australian or are you just an angry moron?


You should apologize.


nothing is hard to understand. it was that cutesy-pie line at slashdot about "forgetting to remove the lens cap" which i still claim is horseshit :D

i have an aversion to cutesy-pie horseshit. everybody who knows me hates me for that. i understand ALL.


You better watch out

You better not cry

You better not scream

I'm going in dry


OVER $9000!!!

FTFY

Edit: Dragon ball?


Gandalf the Greyhound?


>That girl can't be upfront about rejection? What a bitch.

FTFY


It is just as much Favre and his team's fault as it is the Saints.  He and his team are as responsible as anyone else for every play in that game.  No amount of bounty changes anything.


Yeah, I would try to file some cruelty to animal charges on this fucker.


How am I crazy? Most guys come the second they stick it in when they're virgins. This guy obviously had something wrong with him, and he lied to me. So I taught him a lesson about honesty by being honest with the rest of the school about his little problem. I think you have your values messed up pal.


Why people give their significant others passwords is absolutely beyond me.


That's just sad to play the game in low settings thinking it will make you better


My heart is going just reading this.


Well now, if you're going to take that tone of internets with me, [good day to you sir.](http://i.imgur.com/CKZWl.jpg)


That's not much of a prize.


>No one can tell me what, exactly, Israel does for America that makes it so friendly.

We both hate muslims which bonds us.


The problem is she is not in complete control of his life.


KIA was organizing harassment campaigns on their sub, reddit admins told their mods to knock it off or they'd ban the sub. Now they think that the two are somehow comparable because, reasons.


As a macrobiologist, YOU ARE ALL PUNY BABIES! AH-HAHAHAHAHA!


Hahahaha. Damn, she's even cuter IRL.


Why this road is closed today??

Refrigerator Race!


While the guy that posted that comment IS a dick, what did the dad expect? Does he not know how the internet works?

Edit: Downvotes in full effect I see. You guys are missing the point that the dad POSTED HIS SON'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL HIMSELF after the post had become one of the most upvoted on reddit today.

You are ignorant if you think everyone on the internet is nice


Yeah he sounds high as fuck


They are worth 4 dollars and a latte from Starbucks.


> Civilians aren't supposed to do that

Too bad civilians aren't bound by military rules, eh?


I'm pretty done discussing laser hair removal with everyone. Half of the people all "know" better than me and the other half has all questions. I'll never mention that I've had it done again.


Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.

"The other side" could mean the other side of the road, or the afterlife.


A simple yes would have sufficed...


Nowhere near shitty enough.  Looks like it's also hard to paint a bad picture of RPG.


Forked tongues in bitter mouths...


This is by far the most British post I've seen in a while.


Who gets to decide when enforcing the law is "misplaced idealism"? You sound like a criminal who gets off on causing pain and misery to innocent, law abiding citizens. I hope you are captured and punished to the fullest extent of the law.


Just keep goin you can do it lil nigga


to the top, and i shall tag along for the karma.


Who still attends the 5th grade regardless of being able to make interplanetary spaceships out of amusement park rides.

Plus, how the hell can his parents buy him plutonium?


Your lack of respect is suspicious commie scum.


It's like Facebook but only for people who live in Czechoslovakia.


Oh we have a winner right here


In Imaginationland, _anything_ can happen.


What do you think he did? Eat less, work out.


shampoo for my real friends and real poo for my sham friends


I'm 17, and I only started gaming about 18 months ago. All that rose-tinted stuff was meant to be (somewhat) satirical...


Once the manager of Applebee's came around and asked how the food was. I said "Actually, not that good". He shrugged, replied "Eh, its Applebees, it happens" and walked away

Edit: I also thought his response was hilarious :)


This is the nerdiest thing I've ever seen. Ever.

You, sir, are a faggot and a loser.


99% of the time I use my imagination as well. I never got how so many of my friends were like "Dude, so who's your fave pornstar?" - "... Gee mate, I don't watch a whole lotta porn, so couldn't say." - "Well how do you jerk off then man?" - "I... Think?"

Hilarity ensues when I'm suddenly not a man.


I ain't part of your club. Even with the mod problems, SRS is still better than half of reddit.


"Never take advice from arachnids." Raid Pesticides


Good one brah! Except... At the end of the day, heterosexuality is still the norm, homosexuality still an aberrant mental disease, and women still more sexually fluid than men.

Nice attempt at equivalency though.


And if the bathroom door is closed, they just repeatedly crash into it and tell the men who use the bathroom to always leave the door open.


Why is reddit so found of that term? I'd love to see it defined, since people call me it so often.


I think you just made me interested in comic books.


Can you seriously say there is a single person on the planet that uses the Wii as their primary gaming platform?


You can park 10 tahoes on it.


I'm crazy because I have a dissenting opinion. What a convenient way to never for a second think that maybe making fun of people because they are a different race is wrong, by saying that anyone who thinks differently than I do is crazy.


Lots of girls masturbate to porn, they're just more secretive about it.


Drakethe type of nigga to not circlejerk the same goddamn thing.


Stoned friend: "extended rats" = ferrets


Sorry to read your story. I think you should reconsider going for custody yourself. She is by no means a "wonderful mother."

She's a godawful skank from hell.


Downvote me, see if I give a fuck.

EDIT: still not giving a fuck

EDIT 2: **TAKE ME DOWN TO -100 YOU FUCKING PUSSIES**


The cottonbedding they sell in pet stores should be illegal, because this is just what it does. It contain small strings that get attached to the hamsters feet and cuts the bloodcirculation.

So for all of you who don't want footless hamsters (No, it's *not* worth the karma) **DONT BUY THE WHITE BEDDING THEY SELL IN PET STORES**


Bahaha, definitely, fellow Sir.


The hospital was staffed by Afghanis who were demanding bribes in order to treat patients


I wonder if anyone is aware of how many lives that would actually save.


The best parts of the video are his under the breath comments. "It wasn't even a joint" "I know you hear me" and the little "yeah" after she says that people listen to him killed me.


Just think all the money you could have made if you stopped posting karma whoring shit on reddit and actually took control of your life. Your wife might actually have a normal valentines day.


Permanent role: "Honey, I'll watch the kids." Best of luck, Rick.


this is why we have so many disgusting fat asses around. Pussified fools like you telling them shit like they're normal, okay or even awesome. No, they are not awesome. They are lazy, stupid and a strain on resources. Fatties need to acknowledge the problem and fix it. Not be coddled.


My parents said I could only play Playstation for as long as I played trumpet in middle school. Everyone thought I was so talented at trumpet. I just fucking loved Playstation.


evra is not a big name


A simple wrong would have done just fine but thank you.


Hey let's compare a sandbox to a competitive game! Yeah that's logical!


Geddy Lee has the voice of an angel. You take that back!


I used to be tangy and full of zip, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


If you don't mind, explain exactly how this is a "whoosh" moment.

I don't see any joke that I missed, there. Rather, it seems that Trapped_in_Reddit was implying that problem was that the apartment is too small. When in fact, the problem was that the refrigerator cannot open.


I had a teacher like that, but she didn't say any of that stuff until the last day of our senior year in high school. Most people stayed home, we went in, had this long, enjoyable conversation with the hot young french teacher about weird japanese tentacle porn and her clit ring. Ahhh to be young again.


JiresgkligWGJg bnhdeyoohastZyuSAU vjjddUTG vkkzzryh vETJ vj


That's why you sell a manageable quantity of Fresh Saffron...

And then you use the money from that to turn the rest into an enormous supply of Saffron-infused products which you sell for a very healthy markup.


Just use your head and stop asking stupid questions. markieff is the beneficiary here. Whoever takes over to start is irrelevant, as there role wouldn't change much. No one is asking Miles or Wright to score in double digits. Look at expanded minutes with little production from these two.


TIL There are hospitals that treat wookiies.


Well, the Jews have stolen so much over the centuries (documented fact) that these sorts of things hardly count as stealing, but merely redistributing the wealth back to society in a more equitable ways. There's no way all the 'occupy Wall street' people can be against what Hilter did in WW2, without being complete hypocrites.


Is that... is that *cum?*


Dirty or not if the other team's QB thinks he's tough enough to block in the open field you better hit him with the intent to hurt.


Upvote for disturbing yet relevant username.


Bah! beat me to it.

Upvote


Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.


Okey....explanation: the car hit him, *right on*


Nice job on those tits bro


Yes you call me sir le meme


YES. I wear hoodies and sweats and beanies all the time in the winter


Still doesn't make any sense.

Luftwaffe wasn't part of the Nazi party, it was the regular German Air Force.


Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.  Back when I was in shape, I had the body fitness that he has.  And we are about the same size.  So perhaps it's a bit narcissistic. Also, I've always been enchanted by Jamie Lee Curtis.


MOMMY WAT DID DA MAN SAYD ABOUT DA ARNOLD VOICE???????????????? GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Cheer up. You could be murdered tomorrow


No.  Lizard Squad are hackers.  These are a bunch of kids that can install a program


We're only two points behind, but we're being outspent 2 to 1. If we can catch up and close the spending gap, we're going to win.

:) Want to help us? https://secure.actblue.com/contribute/page/graves-web?refcode=homepage&amounts=5,25,50,100,250,1000&amount=25


if you assclowns ***got the reference*** as you guys claim... then instead of all this damn slackjaw smartlip you clownshoes would be joining in the **his name is robert paulson** chant. not sitting around and twisting your frilly panties in a bunch!


She was just asserting her dominance


You know, it's funny because diesel exhaust isn't as bad as regular gas exhaust. So really, if your driving your hybrid on gas, not electricity, then that truck is more "green" than your car.


I used to call up my friends and write on my "friends" wall, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Maybe, but it's also got that awkwardness of real fights.


OMAGOD USERNAMES REDDIT SO FUNNY I BETTER POINT IT OUT LOL DAE UPVOTES


That is fucked up, but at least its not nearly as stupid as farting in a gas tank.


not my intention.. i see your point though


Oh and also, if you want to be cool at the party, stay away from wine. (haha! Linux joke!)


haha exactly what I was thinking


The "photogenic" meme should only apply to situations where the person is doing an action the is naturally non-photogenic. Standing on a corner dressed to kill does not support this meme.

Still hot...


They're called *FEEL****INGS***, god damn it.


Chance of totally AWESOME PIRATE COSTUMES UP 1000%


I hardly think a child's eyes are so sensitive a mascara wand will do much damage


There are no lights on the Rover. It utilizes the night time to recharge the batteries to drive and explore during the day to take advantage of the day time.


they have. there's at least one a month


***GABE NEWELL HOLDING UP 3 FINGERS CONFIRMED***


Couldn't be fucked to look it up. Don't remember specific actors until I've seen them in a few different films


Two guys destroyed your bike with a softball bat and a crowbar. One of them wasn't me.


If that's an 8, you have ridiculously high standards.


That passive aggressiveness "Oh you were gone? Didn't even notice."


And then there is you. The whitest of knights standing on the highest ground looking down on people. Your nose is pointed so high you didnt realize that the count thing was kind of a joke, but even worse you pulled the sexist card. Bravo white knight, bravo


Expecially if you're in the red.


Um, you realise that counts as child pornography right? And you have just offered monetary reward for finding said CP.


The guy who vehemently is against same sex relationships is always the guy drunkenly snarfing down cock at a party.


You don't know what you're talking about :p


>signing shows

Why do you hate deaf people!?!?


It will not happen, that is what I bought it for. Maybe you will get an option some day to turn off those icons, but until then I enjoy your suffering.


That's a white persons only super power, not getting offended about stuff.


Meanwhile, on reddit, a loser wants karma for a comment 143 others have made silently, with a downvote

Edit: 199. You sure showed me!


That's also why there are 60 downvotes to this. Isn't 4Chan just a bunch of fat ass kids living in their mom's basement beating off all day?

edit: i've offended the creatures.

Edit 2: Yes my comment was a large generalization. Didn't expect everyone to get so sensitive.


In the opening hand you're supposed to muli for maly.


Warning: cool guy alert.


Target acquired:  It's called Soccer Motherfucker!


*A tale as old as time..*


Who uses wikipedia as a source of knowledge in any semi-serious debate?


Everyone mentions acne during puberty.

No one mentioned ass hair.


>~~fucking air~~ cheating.

FTFY.


that is a fake picture my guy friend posted for me. Im not sure why he did that.


Obviously people don't care about animal abuse when you make cute pics of them.


True. And you can play a fun game where the one who starts the humping loses. There's nothing more exciting than a partner who can't control their desires for you any more.
Edit: Wow, now my best received comment is on a control and denial sex game... No, no I do like it. :)


You seem too hotheaded to carry.


I bet if you did a population survey and took DNA samples, El Dogo's genes would be in more than half the population. The ladies flock around him like he's Leonardo DiCaprio.

There are other males in the population but you won't see any of them out on that fenced dock. That's his crib, yo.


Hey look everyone! It's a fag who's never touched a girl, so he thinks the only way their hair can move is with their own touch.


###***NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA***

###***NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA***

###***NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA***

###***NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA***


faggot is intended to be offensive. Yes, and some people take it harder than others. I see them as par for the course.


Yes and my mom has this issue where if I talk in front of her and she doesn't see my face I'm automatically talking shit about her so.sometimes I walk by, turn my head and say potato salad or something, and she'll be like "hey I know you cursed at me!"


Says the rational observer who wasn't emotionally entangled with that persons uncle.


Moral of the story: If Don Cheadle knocks on your door and offers you a PC in exchange for fucking your wife, ask about the freaking specs first.


Fuck off, even if they didn't have Price they still have a great team and would obviously have someone else that could do the job.


      ┌─┐
      ┴─┴
      ಠ_ರೃ
      <|>
      /`\


HAHAHA! GUY CUMS QUICK!!! Lolololololololollypops!

Edit: Downvotes?! Srsly? You can all suk a dik.


"What the hell is Hogwarts? Is that from one of your stupid movies when you were a kid, dad? You are so lame."


This nerds upvoting to the top


It's okay, there's just an xray of what looks like a dog shooting a laser from it's eyes.

*My top rated post is about an anal dwelling laser dog. I'm okay with this.*


Respectfully disagree. Tan lines to me are just showing dead skin cells...not exactly sexy.


there must be crocodil inside it because it impossible for potty to eat i think


Not really. How many live in Cameroon? Exactly.


Sure, but that's 5 days away


What a ridiculous strawman. No one - anti drug organizations included - has ever made the argument that marijuana is just as bad as harder drugs.


I have never witnesses this before but in what universe is it ever okay for a guy to *correct* what the girl orders like that? How does this mindset even develop?


Just mocking r/atheism, this subreddit is funny,but here comes all my downvotes, most of r/atheism are pretty chill people. Go on the top 100 and you will find maybe 5 anti-theist posts. I will accept my downvotes now.


I brush my teeth with a Sonicare toothbrush before every show.


No lie. Was in a guild called Black Label Disciples on Eitrigg-US with a dude called "Salty Rottingvomit" Dude was creative. Then some hoe named janedoe stole and transferred the guild.


Horse girls are just cat ladies with money.


Yeah, no shit. Why don't you go wipe your ass little kid. There is no intentional pun.


Instead of /r/explainlikeimfive, there should be /r/explainlikeimincongress.

Edit: /r/ExplainLikeImElected now exists, thanks /u/PlusFiveSarcasmBoots!


You know what... I DO deserve an orgy today!


"Negative, It didn't go in; just impacted on the surface"


How were they revolutionary?  All they really did was be dictators, and not even too spectacular ones at that.


I can't believe you're seriously trying to buy reddit. I have a fucking alien sticker on my car, but you, you don't fuck around.


And your feelings are?    (For science, of course.)


"I'm not even supposed to be here today!!"


sorry? what are you reefering to? i didn't pot anything remotely close to whatever you are hitting at


Same thing happened in [Afghanistan]( http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2014/11/army-lost-nearly-420m-worth-of-equipment-in-afghanistan/), [Iraq]( http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/05/AR2007080501299.html), and others.

The US military is the most powerful in the world - I highly doubt anything is "accidental".


It's not. Go outside maybe? Fuck the overrating of this game is getting so annoying.


Obesity in children is a form of child abuse. Beyond the health risks associated with adult obesity, [obese children do not go through puberty correctly.](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2931339/) Boys start puberty "later" and girls start earlier.


>Just treat her like a cisgender woman, because that's probably what she wants.

Treat him like a crazy man who paid a surgeon to cut his dick off.

Because that's what he is.


I turn 31 next month, I'm getting rid of my supposed 'life partner'.

So stay optimistic, there's still time for you to fuck shit up.


We did this in my seventh grade biology class. I lived in a very opulent community. The only difference is we did it with a rabbit hole. Let's just say it doesn't go as deep as we all thought it might have. Plus we found a dead bunny. :(


Remove all the numbers. Still allow voting, and have it work to the same formula, but get rid of the bloody numbers. It still allows for quality to rise to the top, and shit filters to the bottom, but gets rid of the competitiveness. No point reposting for the points, no perceived penalty for honest opinions.


> BO**5**

> **8** maps on one day

You done goofed.


That was quite possibly the best, most disturbing thing I have ever read on reddit.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.  That was sickening and hilarious, and the imagery was fantastic.


This is from 4chan. You can surely find the story around Boxxy somewhere, newfag.


I will acknowledge these things the day my wife comes home and says something like "Oh! I love the new subwoofer in the home theater!"


Invite last minute
Much rage was had to be heard.
Reddit, Forever.


You have us at "I am a female".


Shame on you and everyone who "crates" their dog.


Imagine him trying to comfort the girl.

*Hey, don't cry. I don't like you! I don't like you at all!"*


Are there any relatives of yours in those 44,400?


Upvote for answering a question not about Rompart


>I'm just saying you misunderstood sfanetti...

Well if he is joking, he has a sick sense of humor. I don't know why you are replying to some of his posts saying he *is* being sarcastic.

Unless you are him, how do you really know?

Call me old fashioned, I just don't think joking about skin color is smart. (if he is joking). Either way, behind every joke is a bit of truth.


Wann...wanna get high?


Only when the confederation had no need to change it's name. The rest of the world has no obligation to decide to stop calling the expanded universe the EU in a star wars related discusion becuase someone decided they didn't like to be called the UN


Dude, you're a genius.


###**A FUNCTIONAL VOTING SYSTEM THAT ALOWS CIS SHITLORDS AND MEN TO VOTE!**


Are you suggesting Jesus wouldn't wear a Rolex and drive a pink cadillac?


fair. But Gen 1 will always be the best. They've declined ever since, with the low point being a pokemon that was based off of a refrigerator and a microwave. *cough* Rotom.


Why should he? They're the ones who suck.


I think being a foreign fighter in another country will get you shot at. Canadians were always proud to saying no to fighting in Iraq, times have really changed.

The Canadians pretty much deserved to be shot at, it would be stupid of them not being shot at. This will make it worse for us Canadians at home who will have to deal with the blowback.


This is definitely something I'm dealing with right now. Talk about heart breaking.


Oh yeah they TOTALLY hate their most powerful erogenous zones &#3232;\_&#3232;


Yeah other celebs should eat some humble psy.


Dreaming of being necrophiliac jailbait. Ah, the memories...


It's shit like this, Reddit titles.


My name is Dank Memington. I teach at Harvard in their school of Meme Science. This is one of the memiest danks I have ever seen.


I do this to my students every year...I even put them in a pan with foil on top so they look like the real thing.  Once they are thoroughly let down, I pull out some Cosmic Brownies and we feast for real.


came here to say that haha


When my gf does this, I moan and say, "Yeah, fuck me like *that*." Since her fantasy of switching genders for a day can't happen, I feel like pretending is the least I can do for her.


wow, you are a truely horrible person.

none of this physical abuse or mental cruelty was mentioned in previous posts (which i can bet it would have been if it happened) it appears your looking forward to attempting to dick him over by using your kid to hurt him, neither of you appears to have the mental ability to raise a child because you are children yourselves.


You're right. It was mine.


I guess I assumed that vernacular from the SomethingAwful forums transcended the internet. I took it as common terminology. I suppose that was naive. Still, Google image search mons pubis and tell me that it isn't WTF worthy.


maybe he has a long sack, like 2 golf balls in 1 leg of pantyhose.


I for one would like people to stop using this phrase because it's not funny anymore.


That must have been a pretty painless conversation with your insurer.


Same thing. Tolerance is caused by dependency, because you have more adenosine causing fatigue in the first place.


Were you trying to make a penis butter banana sandwich?


great PR with little or no risk to himself. He knew that unless you carry the very rare recessive gene that makes you susceptible to the illness, you could roll in dead lepers and never develop symptoms.


Any time someone makes French "surrender monkey" jokes, this guy should be quoted to them.


Living in Cali and mostly hanging out with intelligent people it's nice to forget that /r/atheism needs to exist.  The stupidity of believers is frightening.


No offense dude but he kinda sounds like a douchecanoe.


I don't get it either!


Your mom's logic. She has none.


Thanks for that comment. Seriously though, screw UT and A&M and your freakin slogans, cultish behavior, childish rivalry, giggems and goggems. Makes me sick. This is one if the things I hate about Texas. College rivalry is taken waaaay too seriously.


JUST saw Jupiter Ascending....I think no one has told them, 'No, that's a shitty idea, don't do it.' since they made the Matrix, and their work has suffered because of it.


Unless its porn. Forest porn is awesome.


Why this comment is behind down-voted is beyond me. What the FUCK is wrong with r/starcraft?


Did you have a fan running with the windows and door shut?


Looks like the [/r/gaymers](/r/gaymers) didn't get the message that they aren't welcome here , sorry they are downvoting you for just agreeing with me,


My seatbelt is the only reason why I survived my wreck. My car fell 110 feet and I broke 20 bones. Without my seatbelt I would have ended up half a mile down the road bleeding to death

Edit: since y'all were wondering

Ps: don't laugh I was 17..

http://youtu.be/WKZF089z0As


this is the funniest thing i've read in my entire life time and i'm so glad that you were able to write out such a comedic masterpiece


So *that's* why you probably have herpes.

*Edit* Guys, I know you can still get it with a condom. I only had sex ed 2 years ago.


I downvoted cause I downvote all Stream spammers no matter who they are.


When my daughter was tiny I taught her that whenever I saw a helicopter I'd say 'what's that Hannah?' she'd say 'it's a gunship. I love the smell of napalm in the morning'.

To get her word perfect I probably spent more time on that than teaching her to clean teeth or anything else, but it was worth it to see peoples faces.


once again. dude, chill


Ahhhh.... **context**.... something Reddit so often lacks.


Halo was a good game


They don't think it be like it is, but it do.


You make shitty rage comics. I'm not convinced you have a penis


I bet it was that fucking blue shell.


It was a joke, I've never actually stalked Justin Timberlake.


You'll need to get an appropriate size first. The ones you have right now are too small for your fingers.


also, christians not following their teachings. :|


That sentence always annoyed me, just because my phone doesn't come with 2.8 million kg of rocket parts and fuel.


Let's be honest, this show got cancelled because it sucked. The only reason it has such a big following is because, like anime,  it has strong appeal to people with Asperger's syndrome and they obsess over it.


I want a nerf gun for my birthday. I'm 15.


You haven't found any of the movies this summer interesting? Thats a new level of autism.


That's because 99% of the population doesn't care about upgradability.

Apple's trick is to ignore the whiny geeks who ultimately have no effect on their profits.


Wut...how is this possibly a checkmate? Maybe the logic and reason area of your brain is broken (probably because you are an ignorant Christian) because this has nothing to do with religion.
Edit: I'm just going back to fucking r/atheism, you guys are a bunch of fucktards...what about this image has proof of god? Its a fucking girl with tits...idiots


Shooting at things and shitting in the woods. Nature's reward to man.


"gah socialists?" -- This kind of puerile name calling will not stand here.  Cut it out or I will put you out.

**upon review of the user xr1s's comments in /r/medicine and /r/medicalschool, it is apparent xr1s has nothing to contribute except manufactured talking points that tend to win "lie of the year" and "pants on fire" awards from Politifact.  The user is banned.**


Live by the sword, die by the dank memes.


any woman who would wear this in public is a fucking whore... pathetic. also, what's up with her nipples looking like massive cystic whiteheads?


I'll take a life-sized one of Emma Watson


>Making 'good' comics doesn't justify it.

... for making every other comic look like crap


>If you dig in the dirt all you get is dirty.

Best. Advice. EVER.


>I feel the real culprit in this is the fucked up world we live in that would dictate that this conversation even needs to exist.

This feels like derailing to me. There is more than one "real culprit," and "straight" folks co-opting and misappropriating our struggle is *definitely* one of them. Take responsibility for your agency to that.


But his cabin though…thats pretty great right?


Yeah well I like crackers but you don't see me slapping any ass.


That is a good question that I sometimes wonder about.


Friend of mine needed some help.  So I agreed to help.


Feels more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked.


You didn't add anything. Stop abusing adverbs.


You're dad is awesome.

EDIT: Fuck you all.  My grammar rocks.  I'm not changing it for you.  Your all assholes.


What are you going on about?


> So my friend's dad came to the school with a stopwatch and made the principal get from one end to the other in 4 minutes. He didn't make it. Rule discarded.

[Justice!](http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/591/928/94f.png)


Only homosexuals shave there. An XY individual who shaves his pubic hair can't possibly be considered a man.

I proudly display my hairy balls and cock. We used to compete at High School, who had the biggest and most dense pubic hair, I was admired for my pubic hair, and I used it to establish dominance over other guys.


Yes it was.  I know in Boulder many things changed due to what happened to me.  That is one of the good things.  People used to put paper "hands" in their windows to let kids know it was a safe place.


It the fucking south not eastern afghanistan. I live down there, this kid is making a big deal over nothing. If we want to support atheist rights, lets go after something important, like pay differences, hiring practices or something else that actually affects us.


Then ask someone to help get the anvil off your chest. I work at ACME.


I can't help but think that if you really thought this, you wouldn't have made a reddit post; you would have just bought the bag.


Wouldn't you like to know Mr Van Gaal.


So basically they're faggots.

lol downvotes for calling people who vandalize PBS for no valid reason faggots


No.

Actually everything went better than expected.


This doesn't help at all, sorry. I respect my wife for spending countless hours on researching the issue instead of just lining up at the doctor's office, and I know her well enough to be assured that I can sway her opinion if I come with good arguments and proof, of which you provided zero.


SILENT ALARM ACTIVATED! SILENT ALARM ACTIVATED!


So constructive. Go die.


Why don't you start by giving me a pat on the back, that's all I ever wanted dad


Fuck off with your European exceptionalism. What are you even talking about? You're just looking for something to sneer at and be snobby about. Classic Eurocunt. If you don't like it why are you even here?


Dude, are you gonna eat that?


I actually never looked at the responses in the other thread. This video came straight to mind after watching the midget do a back flip.


This is more depressing than the fat girl who squished her dog.


Most games aren't a battle of wit but just a mindless distraction. You might just as well jiggle car keys in front of your face.


With logic like that, your sister is more dangerous to her kids than you are.


I think you misspelled "people with herpes and/or HPV".


I heard it had a sentimental value to him because he got it on the same day he married his wife.


this post just made my day, love that pic!


Tonight on Nancy Grace: Did Conan O'Brien murder a group of Cuban children?  We're willing to imply yes.


Yes, he's saying that I was the least arousing person in the room. Got it. Thanks! I'm glad he can make judgements like that when he clearly has no idea what I look like or what my personality is. That's why it's awesome! Don't you get it??


Normally, I think the kneejerk responses of "KILL IT WITH FIRE" are silly but kinda dumb. Here... not so much. Fire probably is a completely reasonable solution.


Me either actually :(


i like both. obviously i have had more opportunities doing voice work, but i certainly like doing on camera. voice acting has a lot of upsides in that it takes very little time and effort. on camera acting for me is a bit more pressure


Your mom is a whore. You are a cunt. Both are confirmed by you. Thanks.


How is no one making a bigger deal out of the fact that mom not only betrayed his trust, but added her own little weird twist with making the doctor a man?


> *Thank You for shopping at Walmart.*

FTFY


>I was on the edge of my seat the whole time!

This is the problem.  If you had sat on the seat properly you wouldn't have sprayed shit everywhere, Pollock style.


the worst part is i read this in the voice of Walter jr.


He's like the Kevin Bacon of sex in the UK, everyone knows someone who has fucked him so we're all connected.

EDIT: While I know people who have fucked him, I am not one of them nor have I fucked anyone who has, so stfu with the 'eskimo brothers' shit.


I'll share this. Grossly downvoted comments are more likely to amuse,  than offend.


unwatchable garbage. it's like an 11 year old wrote a commercial. and then shot an elephant


My faith in Reddit: confirmed. I keyed on the same thing.


the name of the girl? Alber Einstein


Once you're in the middle of something like that, it's a little difficult to think things out thoroughly. Unlike when your commenting about how you would done things differently, while surfing the internet in your underwear


..except [vinyl had its biggest year in decades](http://www.digitalmusicnews.com/permalink/2014/07/07/vinyl-sales-up-38-percent-2014)

Thank the hipsters I suppose. /s

*edit* it's, its, sits, tis, w/e


hey are u guys all seriously playing a 8 bits boring lego game ??? i didnt even know there was a subreddit for that game lollll whatever, im pretty sure the OP just googled pic and said he did it. that's reddit nowadays.


> > > > REAL MEN IN YOUR AREA WANT TO MEET YOU.


Either niggers, mexicans or fags weren't they? Oh, definitely fags. Homos would totally try something like this with their gay lisp and all tight leather attire. Fucking queers.


I make it a priority to never take a campus for a walk when it is mad.


it sucks that it was like the worst team in the leage though, he'll probably still keep it, best to put it on ebay and buy one from his home team that he likes.


I thought it was some black guy running for president in 2012.


Yeah I'd rather be like you, who blindly "trusts" your local neighborhood pharmaceutical company sales rep.  Good call.


I got a contact high just from reading that too fast.


And one for you: Stop bothering about stupid shit. Yes me telling you about it is ironic but what ever. I dont give a fuck.


Maeby a little too subtle.


No, that's not it. A kicker would never be chasing a kick returner from behind.

edit: Kick returner is a position in american football. A kick returner is only on the field during kickoffs. A kicker will never be chasing someone from behind during a kickoff.


Upboat for Aladdin reference


OH NOESS!!! ME IS GETTING DOWNVOTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck you you steamie piece of shit


Isn't that why it's called a money shot? Saves so much money on hair care, skin care, and cancer care products.


Harden gets calls because he earns them.

If the NBA won't change the rules due to the Hack-a-(whoever) method then they should stay consistent and reward players for attacking the rim and being aggressive.


>Don't people want a cold drink when they go for a walk?!

Walk? In America??


Who the fuck shoots weed?


Man I'm so glad someone said this. That guy will live in our hearts forever. Streetlamp Le Moose, ~~the~~ le legacy.


lokiikol:  "I know how to get upvotes.  I'll just make shit up about an organization everyone dislikes."


Yep, I probably should've included an explanation! Recently we played this game with one of the phones in the stack being an iPhone loaded with random music. We let it play on shuffle and the first person to insist on changing the song lost. My guy friends jammed out to some Spice Girls.


Are you really this fucking stupid?  It took some tattoo artist to talk some fucking sense into your dumb head?


I'm not sure how much the doctors who do this shit are paid, but it's not enough.


Not everyone is frigid because of their unresolved rape issues from the past.


As always, relevant xkcd: http://xkcd.com/538/


Apparently, not only my IQ is higher than yours, but also my level of maturity.


Your ex-friend is one of the reasons so many women are self-conscious about the tiniest aspects of their bodies. [*](http://ianmarquismusic.com/track/underground)


Yes, for controlling the ignorant masses and causing panic whenever they hear of someone who hasn't been given the government brainwashing drug.

Edit: Om Nom Nom Nom, I eat your downvotes. Delicious.


student dying

studen dying

stude dying

stud dying

stu dying

studying


+1 for calling out your bandwagon fans

-1 for being a Denver fan

+1 for giving us a better draft pick and easier schedule next year.

Enjoy your upvote.


I think it's hilarious. If my dad cracked out a bottle that got him laid and let me drink out of it on my 21st I would find it hysterical.

That being said me and my folks have a very strange sense of humour. I can see how a lot of people would find this to be a very strange interaction.


Isn't it fun to use unnecessary profanity?  Golly, mommy won't let you talk like that at home.


Thank you for voicing what my vagina was thinking.


> Fuck, thats what I think with every girl I'm really into O_O

FTFY


Jeeze. Spread this story around. Post it to /r/canada or something. This is proper fucked.


im here for the gangbang


You misheard them, they were asking if you would need help.


Gabe newell And NTD having hot unlubed shitty anal sex while talking about how much they hate reddit faggots and watching a spacedick gif.
YOU'RE mothers a whore
YOUR pretty fucking gay


All of my knowledge on this matter I defer to Heroes of Might and Magic:

Few	1-4

Several 5-9

Pack	10-19

Lots	20-49

Horde	50-99

Throng	100-249

Swarm	250-499

Zounds	500-999

Legion	1000+


Too late, you can't tell me what to do.

The funniest part is that his comment went unnoticed for an hour until I replied. Who's League of Legends celebrity now?


This i can get on board with: everybody post a strategy and try to implement it, then post the results. This could be a thing of rare beauty.

EDIT: http://www.reddit.com/r/theeternalwar

We just need the savegame...


TIL Muslims destroy things.

You let a bunch of death cultists into your country, this is what you can expect.

New York? Are you watching?


I don't even know what to say to the fact that two completely different people you were friends with faked their death.


>It would have been wise to abstain from unprotected sex.


I don't know, these things happen. In fact, I recently won a large amount of money in a casino... [proof](http://i.imgur.com/D2Swe.jpg)


Don't try to post in /r/nfl right now with anything but Seahawks dick sucking.  Their 16 year old fans are out in true force this week.


Why did the plane crash?

because the pilot was a loaf of bread :D

Edit: Great. My highest voted comment is an anti-joke about bread. Ah, who am I kidding. I'm just in it for the karma.


I'm not the one freaking out here. I'm very chill. I don't have to be upset to point out that this entire post is a dumb question.


Actually there is a secret society for people like us.


I can tell you why. This pic was taken in my city and a couple of people shared it with me today. I look for it but I didn't it found it so I posted it.

Now you know.

I'm going to leave it here because why not.


To be honest at that point I would have just run off the bus to get it. The teacher would get in far more trouble I'd she left without him at that point.

Doss he still have the box?


your face would be all fucked up if that happened.


A species just went extinct. No celebrity death could mean as much to me. Plus tortoises are my favorite animal.


I used to add to this discussion, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Meat packers? Who would think...

Or: 'They took the meat deliveries at the back door'...


nope, shit aim is the cause of this


HOLY SHIT. The sharks got to him before he could finish his comment! Obviously he was mistaken and it's an extremely hostile species of sharks!


This is an ass and a vulva.  I'm not sure if there are any paints that are "vagina-safe".


*opens door*

I love you.


I'm not pissing on Disney. I'm just saying in **comparison** it looks like shit.

It still sounds like an insult, but that's the power of Akira!


AMA request, someone who doesn't know this fucking chick


>That ain't a repost to me!

You must have been living under a rock for the past 30 years.

>You have my upvote and my gratitude.

Ugh, reddit noobs are so dorky.


Fuck that, I'm imagining puppies.


I'm not trying to rile anyone up. I'm just speaking the truth. If people get riled up, it's not on me.

Archaic superstitions have no place outside a church.


Exactly. Like "I'm going to smear my poo on stuff! I AM THE WINNER IN THIS SITUATION"


So the implication is that either one of those numbers is a large quantity of notches to have on your headboard?

There's a reason I don't ask and don't tell.


This is why we're here, this is why we're here.


Because she says the stuff on Twitter?

Ha.


That took a hard left turn in the middle somewhere.


ERMAHGERD, MERL FER TERR WERTH ER HERRRY VREW


It's protocol to say that at every arrest. If you don't, you're fired and arrested yourself.


The left isn't interested in facts - just demonization using any weapon to hand, and this is why we're removing leftists from all positions of power and influence in the United States. They simply can no longer be trusted with power.


I know nothing of economics or business, but this business sounds like the sort of thing that's popular for a very, very short period of time and then completely goes away. I can't imagine there being a sustained demand for shipping glitter to people.


No.  It is not totally normal to take pornographic pictures of your children.

Fucknuts.

Edit: I love the downvotes.  She is known for taking sexually explicit photos of her kids.  Please research shit before replying back.  It is fucking sad that you are willing to defend something you know nothing about.


Nice try, OP's current girlfriend's moustache.


**I JUST DRANK A LIKWID POO**


Well he did say the guy was 350lbs


Or maybe your trying to find the stereotype and focus on that instead of looking at the majority of the people of the fandom. All I can see from this comment is the bias towards something that is not completely acceptable in society.

Edit:Keep those downvotes coming. Your only proving my point ;D.


>   Turns out she's British, **too**

I applaud the depth of your fantasy.


> Is this as racist as I think it is?

Muh social justice!!!


I completely agree.  *She* chewed *him* out for betraying her because they're married!! I'm **dumbfounded**.  She sounds like someone with the emotional intelligence of a teenager.  I totally feel for OP but think that after a lot of soul searching (and paperwork) he's going to come out on top.


Disregard that.  Kill yourself.  It'll be funny :P  You think you being in their life is a *good* thing for them?  Rip the shitty-parent bandaid and kill yourself now so they'll have time to move on while they're still young. lol


Don't post anything if she is...


Some people like to hard random.


Maybe he wasn't moved by the question itself, but the fact that a street child was the one to directly ask it.


i dont know if i would go that far. but most wont cotton to the thought of a display of that magnitude inside the home. also, your a cunt, your mothers a cunt, and your father is a wrinkled old cunt


If a girl asked me that I would straight wharrgarbl that pussy till it squirted all over my face.


You're kinda new to this, aren't you? Typically I'd make a snarky response but I'm having a slow afternoon.

YES IT NEEDS A TAX STAMP. It is an SBR. Tax stamps are (typically) NEVER included with the purchase price unless the Honey Badger has a ridiculous amount of markup which lets dealers absorb the $200 into their margins. There are many items that I can discount $200 and many I cannot.


Your mom probably wonders why you call so often...


My thoughts exactly ... all hail Allah!


In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this.


Because he's not an idiot. He's going to making a lot of money having a real job. Professional gaming is only for people who cannot make it through school or have 0 desire to make a decent living in the future.


You know what, good on you for having a positive body image.


The way...women...take advantage of...men?  Those damn prostitutes?  You're insane!  What about the billions of women who are oppressed by men in a thousand different ways?  Run a whorehouse all you want, but don't act like you're being altruistic, and DON'T act like the problems with the sex industry are the women's fault.  You disgust me.


And three to down vote it.
And swipe left with 2 fingers to collapse a comment thread (on iPad, apparently as 200 people below have said, you only need one finger on iphone)


Ned + Robert that relationship turned to nothing


Wow. That brought flashbacks of being in third grade and wondering what the fuck I was going to do about our mortgage.


I'm so sorry op for your suffering have some gold and 2 million upvotes /s


Okay so we need a blonde kid sitting at a table and pointing at pictures of CISPA saying like "Why are they recording me daddy?"


oh boo hoo someone reposted for karma. faggot do it yourself if you want karma.


Or he's voting for Romney...


It's a sexist issue. Sorry, but it's the truth. Spoiled young women entitled to everything they want are much more common than similar young men. I know I'll get downvoted because this sub is generally full of a bunch of SJW women, that's fine.


Fuck her senseless and get free lattes when she's at work.


Tough words, internet warrior. I've been a psychopath before and worked with others, and we don't make threats as juvenile as that.


My version of the Twilight drinking game is to take 40 shots before you press play so you'll either die or pass out when it starts


They should have thought of their own comfort before they had children, demanding food, clothing, shelter, entertainment, education. This is the most spoiled, bitchy generation yet. Go out and build something.


Scott does a ton for the community to raise awareness for the importance of donating blood. Over the summer he ~~road~~ rode from Fort Pierce to Washington DC. He ~~road~~ rode the last few miles with the surgeon general.

source: I personally know him

Edit: Me no spell so good


First rule of the Internet:
"There's no girls on the Internet"


I had that happen in my French class, the kid owned up to it, too:

Teacher: What are you doing, student?

Student: I'm wanking, sir.

Who the flying fuck even owns up like that!?


Nice try whore with glasses.


Screw the parents, to hell with religion, and fuck the government


That's what they want you to believe.


Sometimes, instead of sitting on my hands before I masturbate, I sit on my dick so it feels like I'm jerking someone else off. It's the reverse stranger.
EDIT: Spelling


Football won't be the same when retires.

I feel like Totti and Pirlo are the only remaining footballers who are still part of what I like to call the 'Zidane Era' (Aka era of classy footballers).


What does gilded mean?

Edit: oh. Okay


I thought about posting it to that subreddit but I wasn't sure if people would say it's not suitable ;/


"WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY SISTERS ASS"

"Oh... i must have gotten you two confused >.>"


I was plenty articulate and you did understand me.


The Westboro Baptist Church


Please go out and volunteer for little kids or others in need


BILL BILL BILL BILL......

BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY.....

biiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllll nyeeeeeeeeeee the scienceeeeeeeeeeee guyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


Did you know that ad hominem attacks are the last refuge of people who have no answers? If you do not know what 'ad hominem' means, then look it up on Google.


*Your Body Is A Wonderland* is essentially about fisting.


Look at my edit you dumb ass


He was a challenge. He never really answered my questions about the holocaust. Personally though, he was very pleasant. I've had better days.


Wow, are your jimmies rustled just because someone posted your shitty image without a watermark? Deal with it faggot.


*Photo Caption* A watercolor depiction of the scene as described by POTATO_IN_MY_ANUS, as painted by Shitty_Watercolour shows the mass chaos after the shooting began.


Wtf were you doing with your life?


No no no, fuck that. What you really need is a [Painting Goblin] (http://i.imgur.com/S2zPiDg.jpg)


and you are what is ruining vaping.

How does it feel?


Did you really just link to the homepage of Google Maps?


Twist 2: OP's son died at birth, the feels.


Similarly, I once bought my first condom, tried it on, and then thrust between two mattresses. Always wear protection.


I want to join the graveyard, because Obama is a nigger who never should have been elected into the WHITE house.


First I wanted to become a mechanic but now that I have experienced Ebola I would like to start going to school and not only be a mechanic.


I've just stopped caring this new year.


*looks up from his fifth gin and tonic*

Oh, you're looking for my ex-wife? Try looking in the back seat of my best friend's Dodge Charger.

*turns back to his drink*


I'm not Indian ( I don't smell of curry)


It's for parking your kangaroos.


pffffffffffftttttttttahahahahahahahahahaha

what


napkin = pocket cloth


Some men just want to watch the world burn..


Amazing TL;DR.

Edit: Really? All this karma for that?


A super-racist, not at all funny sense of humor. I mean, I know that child abuse AND laughing at poor people is a double whammy around here, but really?


Never give money to a hospital. They'll probably spend it on drugs.


Tell me that at one point in the night he just turned to everyone and said "I'M *RICK* JAMES BITCH!" and then cackled like a mad man.

Please tell me that happened.


Maybe it's laybelline.


You won't know where...you won't know when.

But someday...I will meme-ify this joke....

and reaps **ALL** THY LINK KARMA

BWWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

**edit**: Wow, this might be a new downvote record. Keep 'em comin' ladies!


Woah thanks for sharing. Female here, are there a lot of straight women that attend? I've always wanted to go with my boyfriend but sort of worried that I'll be fem-shamed or something if I go. Also when  you say there is sex...I thought there was like a no touching rule or something? How does that get carried out?


I know this doesn't relate at all but this guy I know was trying to say what's up to this guy we recognized at the gym when he was at the club. The dude was with two girls and he was being a douche and was like can't you see I'm busy. The guy I know then responds, you're right, two 5s make a 10. It was the biggest burn and split second comment ever


You should have pee'd in the pool like everyone else.


just like Rose's legs...