> Of course the 'how' and 'when' can be a surprise.

Bingo. Did this to my fiancee..she KNEW I was going to do it, but had no idea the how, the where, or the the when.

Drove her mad with the lead up constantly throwing off false ideas too. It was fantastic :D

Edit: I'm not Jim from the Office, I swear to christ. I've never even watched it.


I just can't seem to break it.

There are so many retards. lul


Double twist: same man.


The image aspas has in his head when he goes to take a corner


For anyone reading the document, this can be found in **Appendix A**, page 283.

It looks to be pretty much what Net Neutrality advocates wanted. No overreaching regulations I could see. Which is good, because reasonable regulation like this is what stands the test of time.


...skillshot?

Not sure if sarcasm.


I live close to Brisbane. We should catch up for sex some time.


hahahah when r/cringe sees this they'll downvote it to hell. op should watch out.


doesn't matter had sex


But there is a reason. People disrespecting your religion is a reason. Maybe it's not a good reason, maybe drawing a cartoon shouldn't be considered disrespect, but it is still a reason.


Not awkward!  A W E S O M E!


Considering the fact that most of the students are underage, it should be fun watching the ACLU trying to defend statutory rape.  Good luck with that one.


who you callin stronk


Maybe it was because she wasn't apart of their group , not because she had a different skin colour . Havnt you ever been bullied by people with the same skin colour as you ?


.....your sister is a penguin


>People wanted to connect with you on that. This community wanted to congratulate you and add to your happiness.

Patronizing bullshit. That's not a good deed, that's giving pity points to someone and in the process destroying the point of this website. Fuck that.


Ron Paul was actually doing to do an AMA, but /r/IAMA changed the requirements so that he needed the endorsements of eight mods instead of the previous 5.


That's right! I'm so glad you voiced what everyone was thinking!!! You're a brave soul and I don't doubt that with that kind of bravery you will someday overcome your dread of those bamboo-eating menaces! You've got this!!!


Underage drinking- anywhere in the commonwealth


Double standards, if this was a man with his cock out it wouldn't get upvoted, but since it's some cunt with her jugs out it does get upvotes.


You didn't save my life, you ruined my death, that's what you did!


I absolutely love this. This explains exactly why this subreddit is so full of idiotic, immature behavior, and is a complete embarrassment to normal atheists everywhere.

You need your daddy to drive you to a rally. Oh, I say we just rename /r/atheism to /r/8thgrade.


I would imagine some hungry person cooked one, not knowing it was poisonous. Someone likely then pointed out that should have killed him.

and then SCIENCE


Whether they would quit their jobs is irrelevant. They don't deserve the education they are receiving because they haven't completed the requisite steps that those who would receive that education under any other circumstance would have to.


You were at the Super bowl weren't you?


HAHA!  I know right!  This is like when you buy them dinner and they don't put out.  AM I RIGHT GUYS!?


She turned into a midget and levitated?


Well, shit.
I still like my way better. :c


Get the money out of politics.

^THIS^

Publicly finance campaigns, limit campaign "season" to 60 days prior to an election, FCC mandate equal media access.

I do not believe all, or even most, politicians are inherently corrupt. I believe they have to act like $5 whores to raise enough cash to run for re-election.


that's because he wasn't a rug.


"Leno, O'Brien." Ouch.


I used to look like a poster, but then I tied a pharaoh to the tree!


If you can destroy evidence that quickly - then there's not a lot of evidence and probably only a petty drug dealer.

Putting LEO and petty drug dealer lives at  risk for a few grand worth of drugs makes perfect sense.. And lets toss a few flash-bangs into the cribs of infants while we're at it.

What's wrong with this country


I called them on it in december, and now it is fixed. Just wipe the pitchforks of that windshield and chill out.

edit: wow, looks like it's raining pitchforks!


Okay, never mind the OP is racist too.

I don't think you can grasp the concept of what I mean. Yes, the joke is racist, but it was a joke and wouldn't upset anyone(mostly). It is taking a shot at certain black people that don't tip, to say that all black people don't tip is just fucking retarded... This is what you guys are doing.


I thought his dad built a homeless man.


You're just a fucking crazy fanboy, that's all you are. How about blaming Sam? The kid literally did NOTHING with his life.

Honestly if I were a girl and my husband wasn't satisfying me enough, I'd cheat on him too. I'd cheat on him A LOT.


Did you just Kiss the bride?


>Fun

>Christian

Does not compute.


This would be... kind of positive, I think? I mean, it would be shocking and terrible, but once getting this I'd really try to get my shit together.


Now I want to cream on her chest and your ass.


19 and I just laughed at myself for doing this yesterday. No problem with it


This is so funny. What did you just see? You saw a team play like shit and still beat the fucking MVP of the league yet you think the pats will win this game?


Please upvote this.
For every 100 upvotes, they'll release one slave.


One less, one less, one less liberal tard we gotta worry about!  Hopefully those pink brain matter smears stay in the ice for a while.  fap fap fap


No I don't consent to any searches. I have nothing to say. Am I being detained or am I free to go ?


I think jatt is an annoying gaylord who looks like dennis the menace and should be replaced by joe miller.


Sounds like you had a nice childhood though?


Yup. Using "familia" when you are not hispanic just because you are visiting a hispanic family is grounds for a strong legal defense in this case.


And Aritstotle was tutored by Platon.
Edit: Plato* It's Platon in norwegian :)  http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platon


1. Why do you live in Saudi Arabia?

2. Why the fuck would you order this abomination against pizza?


Good evening,

I've only recently been acquainted with you,

And I find this notion quite absurd,

But here's my place of residence,

Send me a letter, perchance.


upvoted for racist delivery policy


She is now a lesbian.


You're not a German.  You're a lying Jew.


English is not my native laungage so... amfetamin is the swedish word for it so i just guessed the english one.


Pounds is a measurement of weight. Something can't cost a 100 pounds...


her voice angered me.


Pssh, only shit teams play in the Europa League.

Edit: Lads, I was clearly joking.


I'm amazed he got there in 15 minutes.


Not also, Rooster Teeth owns Slow Mo Guys

Edit: Month = Mo


I'll go put the popcorn in the microwave.


only time i will agree with a manu fan


Thanks! (in a sad way) Side note: I would be married. totally. But I'm in the military and so many of our guys and gals in the service get married so young and they fail... it's very sad and hard for me to think about. Some ofthe dear John letters I've seen would make you hate people.


Sorry your life is lived from the safety of your desk


Or death.  Their choice.


are you trying to be witty by using sarcasm to point out sarcasm? fail


It also should be noted that remaining stationary and unaware is the ancestral state for animals and all multicellular eukaryotes.

Awareness and behavior are fairly remarkable evolutionary innovations, really.


Really? What do you think? INb4 "I dunno dawg im not gay lolol"


Yeah, "Are you circumsized?" is a real hard hitter. Won't hear that one on Letterman.


you arent understanding they dont even talk and shit until STORM OF SWORDS


I'll bite.

...What?


Sailor Moon and holo-foil Charizard card are perfect generation timing. They fit together well.

The only trouble is, Superman and Spiderman? Sorry, those werent big for our generation... Spidey became huge just a year or two after the Pokemon boom peaked.

And besides, everyone likes sailor moon. this doesn't add up.


10/10 would read again


I don't understand why people like you need to out your stupidity to the world.


>Then again maybe I'm weird.

Well you're certainly on a list now.


It is well balanced to not allow people to speak to you in a rude manner.

For some reason, it makes me the asshole to speak up.


I can just imagine some kid being crushed that they couldn't finish the Wizard of Oz, and then years later thinking "Man that porn was pretty good, I wish I could find the rest of it," then after a long, painful internet search they finally find the title of the porno, rent it (for that old school feel) and, bam! Wizard of Oz.


I'm 12 and what is this?


That's not even plaque anymore, behold the Calculus Bridge.


Weird, considering how she initially offered to lie to give Adnan any kind of alibi he wanted. Why the sudden cautiousness?


Went to university with the "fuck you world, it's totally gonna work" attitude.

It did not work.


Or, maybe patients should take some responsibility, and make sure they know what the fuck their doctor is prescribing for them.  I honestly can't understand someone just blindly taking whatever medicine the pharmacist hands them, if it doesn't match what the doctor said he was prescribing.


>5.1

Henceforth known as Dolby penis.


Pregnant women can't look gorgeous?


Their dangly-janglies went wiggledy-piggledy.


I don't think it's funny at all how quick those cops are to put their hands on someone which is essentially assault and battery.


Boy's gotta check in. Let the ladies know where he gets his trapper keeper stickers


Laser? It's a bit costly, but really effective. I do it the last couple years, and I don't even bother with razors, waxes etc. It's great!


Tech support for relatives. Spreading joy since *never*.


pile of shit more like


Was thinking about how bullshit this was until I realised I had a silver medalist in my graduating year


FUCK YOU, ok fine gimie a sec.


Yea...that is what always baffled me..... how does that work?

Guy:  Hey, wanna go back to my place?
Girl:  Sure... where is it?
Guy:  U-Haul storage room #204


I would never have guessed a newfag would put a rating in the comments of a post on r/4chan!


Appletinis make me get all handsy.


And you sir, can go fuck yourself and the horse you rode in on.


I prefer the term Domestic Engineer, it sounds much cooler


Holy fuck they're not indie


Sounds like he had an encounter with a Cegua!


wait a sec... he took the photo? wtf. now i need to sue someone.


I was gonna say Adolf but yours probably has a better effect on humanity.


You'd have to be attractive for that...


I'm sure his gang will take care of that.


I WAZ AFWAID TO CALL BOTH OF DEM MOMMY!!!! BUT DEN I TOOK AN ARROW TO DA KNEE!!! OWWIEEE GOO GOO!!!!


...and now he's made a post asking how to hide comment history. Nice one.


How was I downvoted if there is are no downvote arrows?  I keep my professional and personal life separate.  I'm just a little person with a lust for ASMR. Not trying to change the world here, just trying to relax.


This one is too obvious. There's nothing like licking the frosting off of a busted grape anus.


Ernest Saves Christmas...which I wouldn't consider Sci-fi, so I'm not sure why it's included here.


A friend (who used to work at a supermarket) once told me about a customer who used to **peel bananas** before he bought them, for the same reason...


Wow this was so...not funny at all

Dont try so hard


im sure that had to do with it. He was probably thinking "I'm a dumbass! The whole class knows this except me!"


There are two ways to take this... (like your mom) A troll or twat.
And i'm going with the all so beautiful sarcasm, and give you a thumbs up.


It's cool - you don't have to change teams just because the other side has great uniforms.

/highfive


Okay... Your point is what?

Everyone who dates is predatory to an extent. Maybe I was more than most but it was all consensual. I'm not lying about loving my fiancee.

Probably selfish. Probably shallow. Probably disloyal. Probably uncaring.

Thanks for the advice hun!


>Himmel Goldstein

&#3232;\_&#3232;


I'd take his leadership over Obama any day. The new king actually has dementia, Obama just acts like he's demented and down syndrome.


>  There's probably other victims.

This, for me, is the most important reason to do something.  You have the potential to shut down a bunch of porn that was created without the people's consent.


Everything the light touches is ok, the dark part is r/politics, I havent been there. Haha.


It's fairly transparent that there was no question about pancakes, and that you just wanted to talk about pancakes. I'm noting down your preference for Scandinavian over Norwegian lest it returns as the answer to a puzzle in the game.


I was gonna make this joke, but you beat me to the punch.


I think twitter will get awareness to what your trying to do. Tell Joe Rogan on twitter, he'll help you out.


This is what's wrong with op and the comments on this thread. You keep calling it harmless. Why the fuck do you think it's illegal. It wouldn't be illegal if it was harmless. Do you feed the bears too?


They're turning GTA from "massacre the pedestrians," to the sims.


Asshat? Kolohe is a fucking beast in the water, incredible surfer.


That's terrible. Both, that he was tortured & that he went after that poor Japanese guy.


i just hate cats. don't dismiss my opinion just because you disagree with it, dickweed.


Um, how do you know he's a great man?  You know nothing about him.

For all you know, he can be part of a gang roaming the streets of LA, so please stop making these generic comments that doesn't mean anything unless you personally know him.


http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/154/912/berneydidnotread.gif?1318992465

le edit: downvotes? really?


“The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself.”
- Louis CK


*Cries about it being original, links to the copied source, is a moron *


There's the white hot passionate love between Dredd and Lady Justice.


DIS IS WHERE DA FWATTY VIRGIN WEDDITORS ARE MOMMMYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIS PWACE ID SCARWEE GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The fuck is **anyone** doing with 20 joints in her pocket?


She probably got her period


so this is what i've come to...looking at sharpies up peoples assholes


"a form of protest" fucked that shit. You know there are families with children there, have some fucking respect. I wouldn't be surprised if this dude gets his jollies off being naked in public.


or you go to rehab for PR issues.


Then he's a minority, if he thinks the game is hard. Cause it isn't.

And i know, he is younger, so i get why, but still.


They wouldnt throw it away. They genuinely feel their business is in danger of going under if Obama is reelected. As do most business owners. This is a scary time for businesses, because Obama doesnt get it.


"Forth! Down fear of darkness! Arise! Arise, Riders of Théoden! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered! A sword day... a red day... and the sun rises! Ride now... Ride now... Ride! Ride for ruin and the world's ending! Death!"

The sun rises, the music plays, they charge

Oh my god.... The look on the orc faces when they realize they are about to get creamed. Shivers


Whoah, *someone* grew up in a poor family. No offense to anyone, but some families can afford 5000 dollar bills with ease and that doesn't make the kids selfish. I'm sorry that their families are more affluent than yours, but don't judge people without knowing them ;-)


..and *that's*, how I met your mother


>When I was 13 I was lonely and depressed

Go post your emo garbage elsewhere.  Woe is me.  Pity me every1.

Rename your post: IAMA 21 yr old Developmentally Delayed Emo.


D:

I'M SORRY BRAIN. YOU'RE A COOL BRAIN AFTER ALL.


It is amazing how much a circlejerk this sub-reddit is, you fags must feel high and mighty atop your virgin thrones.


I'll pick one up at the park later today.


If you liked that link you may also be interested in the truth..

http://www.forbes.com/sites/realspin/2014/02/07/the-keystone-pipeline-would-create-thousands-of-jobs/


Give her a gift wrapped empty cardboard box. Gives nothing but shows that it wasn't that you just forgot. Kind of like purposely tipping a REALLY awful waiter $0.01. (note not something I've had to do yet, but it makes a statement)


I feel like most of the 'in' jokes referenced in comment threads like these are heavily context-dependent, and without having seen the shows they're from wouldn't necessarily make a lot of sense or have much humor outside of being absurd non-sequiturs. If that's your jam, though, don't let me stand in your way.


THAT'S PRESIDENT DAVID FUCKING PALMER


honestly, hes pretty good but at least half of this is that the people he was playing against just sucked ass. They waltzed into that shit. Didnt use minion cover at all, and morg didnt do anything. I mean sure he did all the right things, but hes just lucky his opponents decided to go full retard


How does one go about marrying Ryan Gosling? I have yet to hear anything but wonderful stories about him. Plus, he's hawt as faaack.


She will never take him back and he knows it. He knows that she's in the past and that he has to look ahead. He already managed it. He found a new job, a new hobby and now me... Just sometimes the ex strikes in his thoughts... He never treated me like shit


The sidewalk, the couch, etc.


Because I don't worship them. They're just regular people. If I saw someone that I knew of but didn't know, like friends of a friend - this conversation would have gone down exactly the same. I've met hundreds and they're all just human. Some nice, some assholes. But no one deserves the "don't talk to me bc I'm in a pedestal treatment."


Yea, he missed:

* someone is smiling

* someone is hugging a friend

* someone is proposing to a SO who just said yes

* someone is gazing at the sky, & currently feeling gods great love.

* someone is taking time out of their day to volunteer for a charity organization.

* someone is eating the corpse of a young boy they killed last week


Fine this is not worth arguing the dude was a patron saint and I should feel bad that I did not let him molest me.


Holy SHIT. Your friend is incredibly brave and strong. Give him a strong handshake from me. Good for him for choosing to do the right thing.


Why? There is never been one time in my entire existence where I have had to buy anything with a Euro.


Well, the first thing I look at is the face. If that checks out, then it's boobs or ass, or both


Well she pesters me all the time, apparently you can never get too much anal. Not very legitimate mate even with your impressive screen name, this makes me think that kungfubros is just making this all up, which is so very lame.


For proof, did he send you a picture of him holding a dated index card? Or did the Secret Service land a helicopter on your house?


Here,  I'll try.
It's a lot like being Kim Kardashian, famous for no reason.   HEYOOOOOO!


You missed out on getting to be boxcar children!


How do you misspell cringe that way on /r/cringepics ?? It comes up like every 3 sentences... Or is this how the kids are spelling it these days...


> Autocorrect ducks*

fixed


Right, because raiding is the only thing in the game... wait...


Godamnit, now they're going to use 'fizzicist' in an ad for some soda.


worst attempt at a negative karma account


Texan sighting confirmed.


...because I am not making this comic look good enough.


Can't we just like, make lava chambers or something?

EDIT: GAH damn son I get it, I got it before the first time. It don't work.

EDIT: I swear to fucking god if I hear one more thing about Minecraft I will flip my shit. That game hasn't been cool in a long time

EDIT: *flips shit*


wow that sounds terribly unfunny.

Besides in the episode where Lisa gets gum in her hair (22 short films about Springfield?) they cut off her hair and you can see her scalp.


That's no way to talk about Tom Cruise


Do you feel dirty saying that about blackberry? It's ok they'll find a way to fuck it up. Just get in the shower and try and wash the shame off ;___;


"I think you're ready for the *Double* Mint now kid."


I will! On this sub at least!


SABBATH! Cause they're bitchin'.


he killed Wickd? :)
Finally he shouldn't be Cocky no more!


>*Shit* just got real.

FTFY


Who would have trunk.

FTFY


ahh, brothers, i remember being grounded and having my brother (not twin) swap quickly with me when i was playing videogames when i heard my parents coming home so i could act like i was studying and it was him playing games, followed up by the classic "i've been studying all day, can i play a little while now?"


you need more upvotes for that good sir, I loled.


**Scumbag Steve**

> * HAS CATIONBOT SHOW UP ON HIS THREAD

> * STILL AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT AND DEMANDS ANOTHER SHITTY NOVELTY TO SHOW UP TO FULFILL HIS NARCISSISTIC DEMANDS

^^*These* ^^*cations* ^^*aren't* ^^*guaranteed* ^^*to* ^^*be* ^^*correct.*


you probably only say that because you dont find the image attrac..a,..fasion violation, what about for those of us that do?

all these people that hate on photoshopped images are pathetic lol, oh no, this girls image isnt what she actually looks like, what a bummer.


They would probably enjoy it since most of them are high as fuck. He had to formally reprimand one bc the dumbass kept stopping by brusters to get an ice cream cone (made his deliveries too long).


I don't see how I'm a dick for unbanning him.


To be fair, you are on Reddit.


That is... *Literally*, my exact thought


Why not ask him questions and write them down?


Are you a 13 year old girl?

Edit: Down I go. Obvious sarcasm should be obvious... obviously it's not.


I'm no surfer, but I'd think it would bring awesome tides

Edit: I thought cats were a redditors weak spot, but apparently scientific inaccuracy is. [Ah well](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7tVeKSYWuyo/T1S56VMav7I/AAAAAAAAArM/I1ogUKdMVL4/s1600/bf6bf70791bcb2f768226988c9f59d8b1dd2bbd8_m.jpg)


>casual

>League of Legends

nice troll


I also answer the door w/o peeking out. Just fling it open. Maybe it's the UPS guy. Maybe it's my nosy neighbor. Maybe it's an attacker. Roll the dice!


Something in the settings I think, I don't know, I don't go on Facebook.


And this, kids, is why they invented the semi-colon! I just glanced at your paragraph and couldn't figure out why you were writing the state first, ha.


if I were a sponsor I'd eagerly record the content and upload it, fuck if people are missing out because they don't pay money.


My first criterion: college dropouts


But not everybody that could does do it. Not only the U.s has the resources for air conditioning haha


You seriously threw Joan Rivers in that list? Rivers IS a comedy legend.


I can't seem to figure out how to work the buttons. I suspect it is related to my female privilege.


I just want to say, thank you for tossing me a softie.


No. I called you out on your bullshit. You're full of shit. You're a shitlord.


That sucks. I would be bummed if I killed my cousin like that.


Great work, Zhesbe! I'd give you a raise but you seem to have handled it yourself.


To do what, exactly?  Reinforce the stereotype of linux being the exclusive domain of 'hackers/evil' and then try to get paid for that?  Alright... seems a sure-enough thing; this should totally work.  Let's do it!


Yeah! we don't even *need* fathers anymore


What exactly is a she-boner? I thought you just got wet and swollen? Is it a way to connect with the overwhelming number of males so that you sound sexy yet still possible to relate to? Because that's what it sounds like.


its funny because of the mass slaughter.


No reason to be a dick and bash an 80 year old working man's work. Fuck you.


Not content with the Gold, the Khan's seem to be pillaging the Chinese team house!


There is literally no difference in my statement and his.


that pisses me off so much.

"let's fuck this dude up he's giving us the eye"

*stab*

"OH FUCK OH FUCK REAL WORLD CONSEQUENCES WHERE'S MY MOM"


I used to be a twist, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


No, it was a bribe. My Mom had to work so she offered my Aunt a necklace for doing it for her.


are you THAT guy at parties?


One of the many benefits of being a gay man.


Mmmmmmmmmmyesss. See? I didn't make ALL that shit up.

Edit: I love how this dumb picture I threw together has sparked several sexism debates. KEEP DOWNVOTING ME, BITCHES


Nobody goes to see the movie titled " Short, overweight males below 5'7" "


Condoms are placebos much like seat belts.

EDIT: Too easy


lol people don't act on TV shows doofus


A lot of players get injured without even having to make Physical contact.

Northrup has had the most tackles by far for us this year. If that's not physical, then I don't know what is


He finished the entire bottle?  I find it amazing that he took a sip and thought, "Hey, this isn't water at all!  Looks like I'm getting hammered today."


Diplomacy, diplomacy, diplomacy, sanctions... Sometimes soft power is not enough and arms, airstrikes and troops are needed. I've yet to see Germany contribute as significantly as France and the UK.


> *HELLO YES THIS IS SUN*


Only pimply faced, fat motherfuckers play computer games.  No wonder you can't get any sex.  If you had an X-Box you might have a slight chance, but with your shitty attitude I doubt it.

My mom hates me.


Are you British? To sit there and accept your fate without making a fuss is a truly British thing to do.

Edit: I would like to take this time to plug my favourite subreddit. /r/Britishproblems


> She knows how to drive dick.

amirite????


Made my daughter more than happy buddy. Thanks a million once again!


batman fakes his death and joseph gordon levitt takes over batman. (spoiler for the dark knight rises)


WE all really loved each other on The Office and still keep in touch. I mainly talk to Jenna Angela Brian and Oscar but I love them all. I text Creed occasionally as well as Steve and John. Someday I hope for a reunion. Would be so fun.


That sounds like shit


Ticketmaster is a service DESIGNED to be hated.

It's a middleman that allows agencies to charge out the ass for tickets, but people only ever get mad at ticketmaster, not the music company.


I agree with this guy. It's their lawn. So what if they  leave a sign up? Worse shit has happened.


Yeah, according to our records, you still owe tax on that......


> I have presented evidence

What was your evidence that the study dealt with new inmates only?


Inspired by the [PornHub advertisement](http://i.imgur.com/IkiTjhm.jpg).


P.S. I don't find the state of being "wasted" all that intelligent or wise either.


Don't worry, he probably doesn't.


To the top with you!


I'm a fairly conservative guy that votes Rep more than Dem. If you think I'm voting for Romney, you're on crack. You can't really accuse him of flip-flopping, he's more like slime, he takes EVERY position. But there's no way to discern in advance which way he will ooze. I'd much rather have 4 more years of Obama than have a Dragon Quest monster in the White House.


Well you're a psychopath. Hope you're getting psychological help for that mental damage.


The Onion does not have bylines because we do not believe in the principle of "individual recognition," nor do we believe our employees should be treated as "individuals," in the common definition of that term. They exist only as cogs in the greater machinery of our multinational media conglomerate. -WT


Dont worry there is no hell


Office supply stores are always eerily empty. Just a few young guys in khakis with name tags. I always wondered how they stayed open, now it makes sense.


Of all of God's glorious sauces and awe inspiring things... Awesome and Sauce don't belong in the same phrase like no other things have ever not belonged in the same phrase...Kill yourself.


Wow just wow. I feel like I just watched part of an episode...but with like my imagination.... Is this what reading books is like??


You think you agree because of what other people have been telling you, and you admit to that in public?


It's all in the eyebrows.


the main idea behind this was to make the skin because of these "apple is better/android is better" kids.


it would be really naughty, but if you posted Zack's phone number, we could send him a tsunami of dick pics


You've given me no reason to believe there's anything good about you, other than perhaps the nutritional value of your corpse, and you certainly don't merit the respect of being called "sir." I'll address you as the worthless piece of shit you are.


Six months ago I graduated from college with a degree in print journalism, I have made a huge mistake.


The only bad thing you mentioned is the sugar.... Bacon and butter are not bad for you. If you think they are please educate yourself.


Good idea to get out of there while you still had your organs, I guess.


YER, I ERGRER WERTH YER STERTERMAHNT.


"So, with the current economic state of the US-"

"HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY!? DO YOU WANT SOME APPLESAUCE?!"


let the upvotes begin!


REMIND ME! Every day.


I'm not allergic to anything but I think this a kind of asshole-ish stance to take. People with allergies shouldn't eat out?


Losing all that horsepower.


Actually that was not a truly solid punch. While it was a nice haymaker that had plenty of momentum, it lacked actual punching power from the body.


"Are you kidding me!? I couldnt believe they".......(checks cell phone as if i just felt it vibrate.....give it a moment and appear to look emotionally destroyed...look back at girl)....."my gf just broke up with me..."


I wonder where that conscience came from..


well if you're going to meet your mates at an orgy then that's what you're going to get! What on earth was a 17 year old doing at an orgy with people more than double her age?! ^and ^where ^was ^my ^invite?


I'm going to get downvoted to shit and banned, but so be it.

Fuck you. You sensitive little bitch. I post one YouTube comment correcting you regarding the walking dead, and put moron at the end (just like I do with fucking everybody else) and you fucking ban me. I was enjoying your videos and bam, banned because I show affection in an odd way.


The kneel was amazing.


i believe its spelt 'vulva' (sorry)


Thank you from those of us not mechanically inclined.


so den ur dad is a deadbeat?


Your medal is realizing your life is even sadder than theirs, since not only did you not even do this, as stupid as it is, but you sat down in front of a screen to waste your time seeing them doing it. Congrats.


Somewhere Michelle Obama just felt a chill down her spine


Hope not, if arrested development had to jump through so many hoops for 1 more season and a movie, there is no way that this show deserves anything close to that.


your friend sounds like a dick.


Let me save you a lot of soul searching; you're not an ally.


He tested negative on the HIV test? That's wonderful!!


*70 years later*

MY CABBAGE CORP!


I offer my sacrifice to the voodoo gods of reddit:

this comment is the band teacher. do with it what you will.


Amen. If you just lay there, I'm going to lose wood quicker than... quicker than... uhh. Quicker than...

I'm going to lose wood quickly.


niggers^niggers^niggers^niggers^niggers^niggers^niggers^niggers^niggers^niggers^niggers


Wait, you mean there are companies where employees are encouraged to partake in their own form of fun and not the corporate endorsed form of fun?


You are not from the 90's


In Pompeii you can also enter an old Roman whorehouse, who's remarkably well preserved walls have depictions of sexual acts that were probably performed by the lovely ladies that worked there.


why get married then? In this day and age it's a waste of time and money.


They don't see it that way.


Like there was no blood at all and the dog didn't even die.


I once thought about Florida and I like jelly beans.


She's a blight upon society, I hope she gets raped by an aids carrier and dies


The long con/prank. On our tenth anniversary I would tell her the truth. She would then say "I know"as she hands me back the exam with a big red F in it as she walks away into the sunset.

Damn, I messed up.

Edit: thank you so much :,)


Go play rankeds faggot


i would have paid good money to see your expression when someone explained to you what that actually was


dammmmmnn women be like dying
from orgasms. At least having a baby
wont rekt them.


What the hell made OP think this was a good idea to post to reddit


I am kind of attracted to young guys who are daddies, though. So one of them who is bi could get a pretty good head start in life from me.


Hence, go fuck yourself.


I can understand your point and I don't necessarily disagree with you but you have to see this from my (and their) position as a mod.

Remember cancer girl and the death threats she received?

You could say that she posted her own personal info but should we still allow her to get harassed?


Or like how he came to Australia just go show one feature of the car. Can't remember which episode it was.

Clarkson: Well fuck, it's raining. But is it raining on the other side of the wurrld?


Brilliant!

Your username is incredibly offensive though.


Before I had met a black person in RL I thought they were all called "Cosbys".


Same but five seconds earlier. I can't believe I waited three minutes to see such a lame fight.


I've got some questions to bounce off you.


The only thing this speech did was to illustrate beautifully why the 90s were among the darkest periods in American history.  Under Clinton's regime America began its slow descent into socialism, immorality, and debauchery.  Looking back, it's truly when we as a nation turned our back on the Lord.


"And even some of those countries will sell "non-military" items that end up being used in the military..."

an example of this are the [north korean war tractors](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/07/27/article-2380055-1B050B2D000005DC-68_964x619.jpg) they use..


I banned him. I doubt it will stick, but there's a slight possibility that if I bring the hammer down on him often enough, he might learn to stay the fuck out of my way.


Corrected.

Facetrolling.


Are you planning to bounce-launch to Mars?


Scuse me Scuse me lemme axe u a question. Y u gamer fags gots2 post such dum shit. U could b out gettin fat stacks o cash. Just had2 axe u gamer nerds bout dat. U's some weird mothsfuckas


Also, you're going to have a much higher career ceiling!


after last night? I'd say i'm more basking in the asspounding barry O received. If he had a shred of dignity he would simply resign now.


"Aww..that baby is so acute! "


You will pay in lost Karma.


My God, haven't we just the most extravagant tastes.

Whatever my friends lost in the couch, washed and tossed with the leftover droplets from liquor bottles.


rabble rabble

nothing you mentioned was actually said by rakita.  you totally make shit up.


He's not on the road in most of that episode.

I don't know what to believe anymore.


No, no it's not. It makes the bull just as bad as the matador and everyone else in this case. This isn't justice, it's revenge and not the good kind either.

If this were a deer that did that to a hunter after a hunter just killed it's 3 babies, then yes that's justice. This is just fucking stupid.


well the Washington Redskins just got a lot more offensive.


>Okay, I'll admit I don't hate females as a whole, I was just getting a bit ranty there. I'm sure there are plenty of women who don't act like this (obviously, as I am one). I'm not trying to say that I'm sexist or that I hate everything with lady bits, that would be dumb. I'm with you.

I said it in response to somewhere else. It applies here too.


Death awaits thee. Haven't you seen that Family Guy episode?


One of the shittiest books ever written, by a no-talent hack who appeals to the same


Scene 5: The attacker kills you, but your hot crush turns out to be a necrophiliac.


I think we should be able to shoot non lethal projectiles at the performer because the buyer of a ticket owns 1/5000th of the performer at the time of the concert. And all he's doing is just being merry and gay for an hour, but if he ain't either merry or gay enough you could shoot at his pecker. This in turn amuses people and makes them want to see more and more.  Think of the ratings!


Over. I'm not some kind of fascist.


Take your shit fucking name, take your cum gargling mouth and suck my asian 2 inch dick. BITCH.


With a beaver tail for dessert!  (It's a deep fried pastry covered in cinnamon sugar, not a real beaver's tail)


And if this moron waited for 30 minutes for their donuts then they are a moron and deserved the wait.


He can't even do the Vulcan salute. The few times he did it in the show they had to tape his fingers.


Fantastic self control you showed. Please seek some help, all it takes is one incident to ruin someone's life.


Her feet were tickled as a baby.


Wrong. Adele sucks the vast majority of shit out of the sewers and on-sells it to you for processing.


It's almost like we were watching the same video!


You'd still be sucking moisture from the mud for nourishment if Reagan hadn't represented those elites and created your job.


>I started the whole eeeEEEeeeEEEEeeeEEEEEE type monkey noises...she loved it.

(•_•) Would you say...
( •_•)&gt;⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)  ...She went bananas?


If you think I'm crazy, why do you come and look at my stuff.  Fuck off.


He's dying on the inside.


I'm just getting into futbol whats going on?


Nice try, Soulja Boy.


yeah, if they say shitty stuff, ima speak up. i'm not HARASSING her, i'm exercising the right to free speech that redditors are always so all-fired concerned about


This bugs the shit out of me too. I really don't understand why so many writers just can't write female characters.


It's not about the bleach mate, it's about the shitlumps defining her turd cutter


Imagine if you were just sitting at home, minding your own business and a fucking giraffe just waltzed into your garden. That's what seeing a raccoon is like for us.


Oh?  Are you a lawyer?  Can you cite some case history from an identical situation from my state - without knowing where I live?


This is /r/trashy, not /r/ghetto.


Don't be ridiculous.  The prices on most of those computers in the store include the cost of Windows.  And it's hardly the Best Operating System in the World.  It's just adequate and trendy and has five times the reputation it deserves.  XP is a great OS (and Vista isn't as bad as they say).


AMA request: Aslambek's children.


I had a smallish kidney stone and I wouldn't wish that on anyone but my worst enemy.


This comment deserves more upvotes than the pic itself!


At first I was like "whoa, you're in the wrong neighborhood, buddy!"

Then I was all like "nahhh, man, you good. You can stay."


Why would you thank him?  He wasn't doing any American a favor by being there.

Edit:  That's the most downvotes I've ever gotten.  May as well thank a blackwater soldier for their service as well.


Was this 'wise man' from 4chan, by any chance?


Sure, if you're fine with a small portion of fried rice.


If you listen closely to the audio on your parents' video, you can hear the audio from your video in the background.


I don't care anymore shes fine with it fuck off.


I can't believe I just read about how to wipe my ass properly instead of writing my paper.


Yeah, we should totally just trust what people say on the internet. Since no one would lie on the internet, ever.


That has to be among the most horrifying scenarios I can think of for a 14-year-old, I cringe with sympathy


Whew! The fanbois have successfully defended Google once again.


He was 52 when they had me, I didn't know him very well. He was in and out of my life for a variety of reasons, loved me very much but passed away too soon for me. (He was 76, I am 25)


do black people there smell as bad as black people here i think it has to do with diet but not sure just curious


Ducks are pretty rapey too. The females even have all sorts of dead ends in their vagina to make it harder for raping male ducks to impregnate them.

Also, fun fact, duck peni look like corkscrews.

EDIT: I mod /r/HeresAFunFact, so if you're interested in learning more odd and interesting shit, come and pay us a visit!


And then Kid Rock said, "I want to have your bieber babies".


Reading this was like staring at the sun.


His girlfriend is his foot!?


I award him no points.


GAY MARRIAGE OMG GAY MARRIAGE OMG GAY MARRIAGE


The best way to deal with fucking up as a company I think is to literally just say "hey we fucked up, sorry, we know we did bad"

When companies try to sugar coat it and dance around the issue it just makes them sound like morons. We all already know they fucked up, they're not fooling anybody.

When a company is simply HONEST, I gain the respect I lost when they messed shit up back.


It's a normal pic, is it because he isn't wearing a fedora like you?


**STOP WISHING AND DROP AND GIVE ME 50.**


how does he belong in this group? someone explain...lmao


Am I the only one who feels bad for this girl?  She obviously has mental issues, and I think your friend could've handled the situation a little better instead of outright ignoring her (which after sex, is pretty shitty IMO).

Hopefully she gets some much needed help.


I'm sure that it's because they use modtalk and not because you're a toxic presence in a mod team because you do shit like this. I wouldn't want you on any team I mod either.


Where are you, Shitty_Watercolour...?!?


Since when is chopping your dick off to become a "woman" brave? Those people definitely have mental issues going on.


I suppose it being his car would mean that he wouldn't actually have to sit on the back seats but still...

I'd say thats too far above and beyond the call of duty and, in fact, telling them to fuck off would not have constituted cock blocking.


Thanks for the tip dude. I played for a bit and thankfully my save function works without a hitch. But I'll keep this in mind if it ever starts acting up.


I guess I'll help you out. The train cockpit is a real picture of a train cockpit. What you see through the windshield is a screenshot from Train Simulator 2012. The little TV in the cockpit also has the main menu of Train Simulator 2012. This would imply that I am playing Train Simulator 2012 while sitting in a train simulator playing Train Simulator 2012.


My personal taste as well as most my RT friends still don't like the Meg hire but I can agree with your assessment. I guess I'm wondering what new things will they bring to RT that they don't already have?


I am really him. Thank you.

Proof: http://i.imgur.com/MshYx.jpg


Yea, and the footage showed to the german people during hitler's time that showcased the jews being awful people had no effect at all. None.

The media representation of stuff does actually have effect on people. For instance, based on the media I see from the USA, mexicans are lazy, sleepy, idiots.


The other movies in the series didn't really live up to the first one


Seriously, get this little snot nosed demon off of them. Kids may not know everything, but this kid looks old enough to know this would hurt them, and probably did it just because his spineless parents aren't doing their fucking jobs and he knew he would get away with it.


Haven't you ever heard of masturbiking?


Haha, the witch hunts after columbine are what first opened my eyes to hypocrisy and ignorance of humans. It made me realize that we deserve events like columbine. We deserve suffering. These things happen as a direct result of the way we treat each other (and I don't mean high school bullying).


It's a load-bearing hot tub.


Just like Scholes said if he wanted to spit at him he would've hit him, also a ban is a bit much you lot need to chill everything is such an outrage on /r/soccer


Florida Man. Florida Man. Smokes PCP out of old tin cans!


No contact?  There was no chest bump but the ref is certainly holding his hands on Brady's chest as he leans closer.  The ref shouldn't have to push you away.


It is if any of the seats are empty.


> It's **annoying** enough to see a repost,

annoying adj -causing irritation or displeasure

How pathetic is your life, that something like this not only causes displeasure to you, but the fact that it happens to you enough where you actually need to cite to the world about it.

Not to mention OP didn't claim OC at all.


And plane is "flying stuff"


Not like Arsenal 'won' it.

We gave it away - it's good to be charitable to lesser teams. That's why you won 3-0 at OT last season. Spreading the love.


this is the strangest thing I have read for a very long time.


Avatar is an American cartoon.


>[I'm miles away from even being a contender](http://i.imgur.com/QFzP1.png)


Honestly, I couldn't think of a better comment after that.


"Have I done something to attract the attention of hundreds of men? Can someone please enlighten me as to what has happened? Why am I suddenly inundated with an image of hotdogs being thrown at a woman's face?"


ok, i believe you :)

but no fucking way did it have a "lens cap". you simply forgot to delete the camera. the "lens" itself, unless the artist went fucking apeshit, was the opaque element that was blocking your view.

cute story, but anyone who has done enough 3d work has been there and done that.


he ate the health spa?


Looks like O'Reilly put him in his place, and all he could do was sit there and grin like a moron.


Bites less than Suarez!


Honestly, I feel it is objectifying. "Female" sounds robotic.  It is such a harsh, scientific term that it removes any idea that this woman is a person.


Of course you think that way, look at your iq!


Don't you mean operating system... idiot.


somebody wake that 8 up, its sleeping on the job!


Game changer.

Your move, Holiday Inn.


She's a bit old for that, don't you think?


and it's sure as hell not me


> classic rock station

*sobs quietly*


You stole my first thought when I read this! Well played.


You must have a healthy relationship with your parents.


That looks like a man who sucked a lot of cocks in his time.


"Used the full version of the product, it caused a system restart. Would not recommend."


Yeah, cause THATS why it won't work :p

Edit: Guys, seriously, even if the magnets were real it wouldn't work. Jesus.


You must be cooking the Black guy wrong.


Hypocrites make me smile :)


*sigh* I guess it had to be done.


You're right..I'm sorry... :(

...everyone fucks your mother! :D


Most crime is committed within 24 hours of eating bread.


Why cant this be Neverland where we never have to grow up?! :(


This is so true, I will be 60 years old this year and your words a pretty deep for me


You're joke was hilarious. You deserve to have everyone in /r/soccer on your side. That guy just didn't get your hilarious joke. What an idiot. The answer "Yes." was also super badass. You really nailed it.


Unless they just made a deal with Fat Tony to serve rat milk to the kids and pocket the savings.


He's 36. Not exactly a spring chicken anymore.

Damn, apparently I made some people upset. 36 isn't exactly young anymore. Yes, it's impressive that he is the owner of an NBA team at his age and yes it's impressive that he can dunk at his age. But 36 is closer to your 40's than your 20's. He isn't old yet but he isn't young either.


Seriously. For selling the very same drug that the Feds have experimented on people with.


MY BRODER DON GET DA VAGINA LIKE DA WEDDITORS CAWSE HE TOO BUSIE COWORING WIT DA PAPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You spelled leash wrong.


I wouldn't really know, personally. But this goes against everything I've heard from every other Marine ever. Once you're a Marine, you're always a Marine, unless you're dishonorably discharged.


Or a mega man http://i.imgur.com/Vg5fD.jpg


The reason was already explained in the comments.


Better be a shiny one too or else it's to the PC for that kid.


I'm not the one fabricating stories for internet points and as you'll note my role in this discussion isn't exactly increasing the amount of internet points I hold.


> I was looking forward to seeing her cat again

Forever a redditor.


Here, let's bring some sense to you: do you know what the concept of "bullshit" is?


Oh. I found "fucked my boy ass silly" to be the deepest part.


You husband, unhappily married for 17 years...

/jk...


I wish I had more friends who talked about stuff like this. So beautiful.


are you like in high school in the bible belt, i've literally never had this happen to me

#WESTCOASTBESTCOAST #TEAMCBREEZY

edit -- holy shit 60 downvotes, i was being sarcastic wow u guys are making me sad


He was accidentally giving himself a more immersive experience.


damn thats one ugly dog


Former Green Apron here.

We used to do that with the word "today."

Thanks today for coming to today. How's your day today? Today is a great day for me! Can I get you an iced triple grande vanilla latte today? Great! Today will only get better...

It got bad.


Cause it's a repost as fuck probably.


A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. He ordered a drink.


Not in the slightest. How could anyone be jealous of being so low that you take a picture like that with your child/a child in the background like that? ALL time low, no class. No decency.


I'm Canadian and say you are allowed.


>implying that because I want my kids to look like me, than I must be a stormfag

reddit logic


What do you call a virgin teenage girl from Alabama? - faster than her brothers


Well considering this is stupid internet drama, can you blame them? Don't get me wrong, I looooooove stupid internet drama- but that's because I don't have to clean up the mess.


Do you wanna cup of tea, man?


She's human and as human we treat everyone with respect.


No no no. It's

Tom.

Fucking.

Men.


i jus googled transvestite and i dont lik. it mak a me head hurt how da man have woman breast


It was cool. Met a lot of my best friends in the dorm and failed a couple classes. Hence being on the 4.5 year plan.


This was really hot till I realized you were a dude.


Cats don't have glorious manes or sing songs about usurping the throne.


Cropping their ears signals to people that this is a breed which can turn violent with no warning. Having his ears like that makes him seem way more harmless than it should.


It's probably the 24/7 on Reddit that's hindering you.

Edit: Great. I started off as a lurker, learned a few things about Reddit, and now a comment about Apostolate has gotten me the majority of my Karma. Sigh. The system works, folks.


"And stupid" says that grammar-tard. (*their)


This is exactly what happened and whats going to happen


Well it takes 18 months for it to grow up but with human interaction
it might not kill humans


And hopefully sharp enough to cut him right out of that relationship


annnddd you made it creepy


>  Landed in Atlanta

Well *there's* your problem.


This. Saw Sanchez dive and get a free kick when things weren't going his way and probably thought why not. It was stupid of both Januzaj and Di Maria. Why waste a good chance for a cheap penalty?


Did they find the Natty Light and the bag of big black dildos?

EDIT: Thanks reddit for making my most upvoted comment the one about dildos and crappy beer. I feel so loved


Heyyyyy I'm sure you're a saint and have never done anything morally reprehensible in your life...


the contrast between those is... incredible


Ah now. Opinions differ.

I, for one, would call him a great big pussy about the smoking.

And when you have a small penis, it doesn't pay to be a great big pussy too.


I can't remember where I read this, but I saw that Rowling considers changing the name for the American release one of her biggest regrets.


Darnet!! I just put that too and checked to see if anyone else did. Great minds...


`Mom and 4 others like this`


Hey man. You're predictable and lame. Stop writing these stupid comments. Only idiots think it's funny.

edit: oh i see the idiots have started to downvote me, KEEP IT COMING TURDS!

edit: WorstAnswerPossible is still not funny. No matter how much you downvote me, justice will still be served!


I once cut my finger on a muffin. We would make the worst friends.


Um she is creating a disgusting eyesore at a vacation spot. The cow needs to leave and quit subjecting herself on undeserving vacationers who worked hard to get a proper beach body while she layed on the couch all day.

Fuck you, you fat slob unhealthy cow sympathist


life is like a pile of chocolate


Okay what semi-safe drugs would you recommend me to do?


why did i picture a "large unattractive [black] woman"?? guys, i think im racist.....


No. He gets it because he likes dick.

Don't try to make it up to be like ESPN are the ones guilty of this. A lot of people have an opinion of him because of his sexuality. ESPN cashed in on it, but people were STILL going to be curious.


Nice try, ex-convict on the lookout for revenge.


**HAHAHAAHA YOU SOUND LIKE SUCH A FAGGOT**


Oh man, I would totally leave her completely unsatisfied if you know what I mean.


wow, that is insanely stupid. Evoking so much anger in someone that they think that is an acceptable solution makes me kind of think you're a genius.


Not only the same day, they joined within three minutes of one another. **March 27 15:07:28** and **March 27 15:10:33**.

Ain't dat some shit.


Yeah, at least if they went against Lil' Wayne there'd be some form of a valid argument there.  Kanye is just another average pop artist.


She said if it's **music**.


His name is Robert Paulson


How Netflix got in my pajamas I'll never know.


Dude the guy looks like fat stupid moron. Some of actions confirm that.

People like this should not be encouraged.

He brought this upon himself and is now feeling the effects of acting out.

No pity for him hear.

Edit: What is wrong with his eye and hair?


Child of a techimpared parent.


If PC games were so good why don't you guys actually play them instead of wasting your time jerking off about how amazing they are? I mean I understand you're unemployed but certainly you could find a better use for your time.


>that kid now ~~frequents~~ /r/atheism.

That kid now moderates /r/atheism.


http://data.whicdn.com/images/23863762/qb0I3_thumb.jpg

"write it down"

"NO, SPONGEBOB!"


They're the police, they can do whatever they want.


I really hope you aren't so fuckstupid as to actually believe the latter part of your post.


I would proceed to cry in the corner, as usual


Nobody cares if you don't play anymore.


Pork chop sandwiches!


Don't let the door hit you in the fucking ass, princess.

Edit:  Oh, dear, it appears I've hurt Reddit's feelings


oh now i look like a big dumb dumb.


fucking great, how the fuck am i sposed to get rid of this fat bitch now then?

she just sits around all day playing diablo...

Oh yeah shit, nice post by the way son.


Hmm maybe you were kind of an asshole?


Yea, I'm a simpleton.


Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday

Today i-is Friday, Friday

...

Tomorrow is Saturday

And Sunday comes afterwaaards


yes, making money off another person's copyrighted material has been illegal for quite a while now.


My friends say I'm really condescending.

That means I talk down to people.


This is why I live in the US, have an education, a job and money. I don't have to make fun of them but I also don't have to feel sorry for it either.


A cave?

Why would he put the controller in a cave?


the s is for scotch, mmm scotch


They destroyed her narrative, also the immense shame of being shown she knew not a single thing about what she was talking about.


GoT got control of IAmA using social engineering. Not even *remotely* the same.


That would be awesome if Steven Seagal sat down a 30-year-old Jason Segel and slowly and painfully gave him the sex talk and how he continues to keep his mother entertained in bed.


Not embarrassed at all. I was curious to see how quickly somebody could recognize and prove me wrong. I've heard of reddit's legendary ability to do this, and I'm sort of satisfied. I apologize for the lies. Good job for figuring this out, btw! :)


Sorry, I don't have any.

This feels like a weird thing to apologize for.


wh-- what?? A compliment on reddit?


Yep, I'd send this picture to my boss and get right back into my pajamas.


It's an important distinction, even if you can't personally understand why.


That's Amaal. He's always been a little different.


Idiotic statements that are upvoted by your self selected group of idiotic friends are still idiotic.


Funny story, I was driving through my college on the way to my apartment with some Katy Perry turned up loud when an officer pulled up beside me at a red light. I went and turned down my music only to realize he was playing the same song. We both exchanged awkward glances until the light turned green.


So do male prostitutes. Are you trying to justify his faggotry or something? This is a terrible attitude he has and I have real concerns over what type of person would enjoy this hate talk.


Can't wait to tell this kids this one...oh, wait...


26 upvotes you seem confident. What law is there against blowing smoke in anyone's face? You going to call that Assault?


totally agree

it's easy to find coincidences when you're looking for them


What's wrong with being straight?


"And my doctor told me you can't get HIV from just a drop of sweat, so don't worry."


Thanks for saving everyone the 4 seconds of typing in google and clicking on the first result.


This comment combined with your username makes me sad :(


Cool, so was i! karma please?


Reddit commenters are so inclined to argue, we actually found someone who thinks round things rolling can be improved.


hey, i'm new to this thread and i noticed it was gaining a lot of popularity. i am not expressing an opinion on OP's racist remark, i'm just posting to try and get upvotes. give me upvotes please


1) See above.
2) Like herding adorable kittens.
3) It was always meant to be updated to the more comics-based look.
4) ILM did the Hulk -- very difficult, VERY successful.


I typed this comment.


Did you stick your dick in the hot chocolate as well?


Yes, specially the ones who are evil scum.


I have the opposite problem. My parents firmly believe that everyone who is religious is ignorant and below them.


I had already tipped him, but in my mind I told him that I wished that I never had.


Just turned 25, no nerf gun this year either :(


Hey, that's 20 years to get him a cup right?

Oh wait..


Teletubbies Sun is way too slept on. He's been spitting fire for millions of years. Nothing but heat from him.


I used to think Someone like you was a classic, then I took an arrow to the knee XDDDDD


It doesn't because that kind of stuff isn't considered wrong by ISIS


What else are you beating girls up for?


You might say he was a baroqstar.


Great, so now we don't get a game? Awesome policy.


Same when Boromir got hit with all those arrows. He's dead now.


There there, I'm sure you can lose that weight one day.


Wait so I didn't download google?


To be fair, he wasn't trying to exercise. He was dancing.


I told this to my mom once when she was bitching about traffic. So she goes, "Well I better hurry my ass up!"


LOL nigga you best be joking

I could name hundreds if not thousands of other jobs more difficult than being a scumbag politician. Stop being a stupid twat.


buddy that happens to everybody who is walking into a party, not just black guys.


4 years on, there's no value to add. it's just snarky comments that nobody is going to see


Haha my husband says to me "well I'm going to go have sex now. You're welcome to join me.."


Thanks for clearing that up!


Sounds like you need some headphones. Edit: most upvoted comment ever. At least it wasn't about penises.


You (with a devlish grin) - "Now you owe me money."


Came here to say this. :)


That is so. fucking. awesome.


How about the zippo? And other items around? They're not placed any different than the Porsche key but I'm the asshole trying to be cool because my car has high value.


I bet she likes it doggy style.


Le upvotes to you, sir, for appreciating fine gif-usage!

okay these downvotes have GOT to stop. ever since i told redditors that digg is so much better than reddit, fags have been killing my score. can't a sir whore for karma in peace?


Just put a lampshade on your head and stand in the lamp section.


He should consider making his thing "winning back to back Super Bowls."

Edit:  All this salt is great.  There's a pretty good storm in New England right now, so I need to keep my driveway clear.


I wouldn't fuck with a zombie rooster either.


Well he *should*, I agree.

Whether he does or not is another matter entirely.


*"Them's* ***birthin'*** *hips!"*


You must have been the one i laughed at last, LOL!


Yeah, the help desk line.


You have to pick a flag, if you use a European nation's flag someone else will be angry because they're from an English speaking nation that isn't the flag the OP chose. We all know that Americans aren't the only ones who speak it.


I remember this device.  Some idiot decided to jump on the "snap back", flew over the wall, hit some girl and knocked her unconscious.


Im not gonna tell you where i live. But. I have a basketball hoop in my driveway. and a dishwasher in the kitchen. a maytag. SEE YOU HERE.


"Cock pockets, lots of fun!

Ambush folks with your phallic gun

When they smell ya, you gotta run!

And if you reach the crack house first *cut to kid playing game who reached crack house first yelling I Won!*"

Cock Pocket, from Milton Bradley! Batteries not included


It's reddit. Reposts and the same shit happen every day. Keep calm.


SPOILER ALERT

.

.

.

.

WWII still happened.


Go on the red pill buddy, they're a team of elite female Maters who will help you.


This is adorable.

edit: Stahp being creepy, Reddit.


for thoes who didnt know a photobomb is where somone jumps infront of the camera as the pictuire is taken


Especially when they're dank


Absolutely, yes.  I'm very much in favor of *Citizens United*, given that it expanded speech rights.


I never would in a million years. My parents did that to each other and i'm not one to stoop that low. Even as how today has gone, I will never, ever, talk negative to him about his mother. He deserves to be happy at all times and I will not ever bring him the discomfort of talking garbage about someone else.


I was just about to post this

EDIT: Holy crap, talk about a harsh lesson to teach a newb!


Even death is a popularity contest... pathetic.


Oh shit, that was supposed to be funny? With reddit's recent 'anti-sexism for the sake of not being part of the hivemind' attitude, I can't tell.


Ah hah, right...  You expect me to believe you've been kissing her non-stop for three years?


You probably already don't leave your house, fatass.


Damn. Now I want a parrot, even though it would probably turn out to be dumb as shit.

Edit: Jesus Christ, ok! I don't want a parrot anymore! Guess I'll just do something low commitment like have a kid.


Its from ∞ years ago


Of course, that explains why they're all gone now.


My apologies, my initial reaction to seeing it was WTF?!?


You should be more concerned with whether something is true or not, instead of what's politically correct or not.


I'm not sure what part of "working at walmart is shitty" is not common knowledge.


LOL so topical and witty, classic you


Jennifer? Kimberly? Jessica? Susan? Tiana? Hailey? Gabriella? Gina? Elizabeth?


Both. They really have no respect for her, but taser? Is it really taserworthy?


Twice.. They got me twice..


ahhh yeah, just jump right in there with all the details... that almost nobody... wait a sec...

I'm told the last person who cares about this has died

IN THAT CASE... jump right in there with all the details that NOBODY give a shit about right now.


Gotta love a stream of consciousness.


I know that it is a edit (fake). But it is about the joke not that it is real or not.


 # TANKPARTY2015

edit: Ok I am out of the Loop - what the hell does it have to do with Buffalo and the Leafs?!?!?


yeah..thats the first thing i saw to. thanks for saving me the effort it would have taken to type out that comment..oh im an idiot


The original Nightman one is better. I believe it's called Dee is Dating a Retarded Person.


It's a title, not a story. If you can't post the picture without a succinct title, maybe you shouldn't post it.


Thank-you for doing that. I have a tattoo with my best friend's ashes mixed in and it's so comforting to know that in a way she'll always be with me.

Edit: [The tattoo in question.](http://imgur.com/8sj3MfS) It healed beautifully and has never given me any trouble.


What kind of fucking moron would downvote that comment? Fuck's sake - it was simply a correct observation. Man, there are some dumb fucking cuntdrips here.


>conservative political science professor

You're in the wrong part of town. Best get moving, before something [accidental comes to pass.](http://i.imgur.com/y96N8.jpg)


13 year old is a kid.  We hear all the time on reddit that people are kids until they're 25 or 30. EDIT: spelling.


Yep, he sounds like a man who would name his son "penis" an extra two times.


>send brother in like an attack dog to extort a half-baked, bullshit apology from him instead of dealing with him properly

####SO BRAVE
how about the next time you try to blackmail someone for purposes of self-gratification, you at least do it yourself.


Winning.

(On Jeopardy.)

(Unless you're playing a computer.)


Exactly my thoughts. I remember I used to like wrapping things when I was younger and I used to do some really cool stuff but one time I wrapped something that was not that great but because the wrapping was cool the person thought the gift was better than it was and I never wrapped anything cool again unless what I knew what was inside was better than the wrapping. lol


"You should know that shooting me is sexual har-" POP POP POP


"[Future McDonald's employee] here. There are a lot of technical problems with her work. She should take some courses. I'd start with color theory."

FTFY


10 months. He's half Korean, so he can already do math at the equivalent of an American 5th-grade level.


How about you just upvote instead of typing out a long LOL


some other ideas: http://i.imgur.com/41gtr.jpg (slightly NSFW)


Loser? Really? What's your life like, to be able to call someone like him a loser? Must be pretty amazing


*Until you hear a door closing.*


HELLLO RACISM!  Wow.  Did you know I'm black?!  Sorry, but I don't trust another brotha in the office, my man.  Don't you ever accuse me of racism again h0nk. Only a racist could come up with that drivel.  PS, and you're the homophobe.


More impressive than going to space...


Nope, i'm just gonna keep commenting "Nobody cares, Apostolate" every time i see him.

You can suck my dick.


We love the idea of offering our fans all kinds of choices, everything from yogurt to lower-fat to sorbet to lactose-intolerant. We love the ideas to pursue future alternatives that way.


No it's not. It's just like when a multiplatform game suddenly becomes an exclusive, like what happened too many times with MS and nintendo  (and sony with SF5). You want MH on nintendo consoles? Great, but don't slap in the face all the fans that made the series become this big with their support for the psp games. I get, it's about profit, but I don't care, it's a slap in the face.


Brent, get BACK to WORK!


sorry to break it to you bud, but that comment just earned every comment YOU made in the past few months a downvote.  harsh, i know, but how else will you learn?


As a Floridian who has seen snow only once in life, snow is pretty badass IMO.


Hes taking it upon himself to show riot that this guy has 0rp because riot doesnt like people with 0rp. And he does this with no reward.


"Oh, you're done? Then make something up!"


I'm done talking to you. If all you're going to do is make generalizations and assumptions, then there's no reason to talk to you.


The dog with no legs is named Cigarette, because every morning he's taken out for a drag.


LLooOllLlll sO WiTy!!! AnD fUNY!!! BuT dOnT MaKe FuUn OF jEwWs lol tHEy r gOOd pPl!!


Unfortunately, Fearless was the name of the horse.


well im from switzerland so i read it today. suck it. "omg im suuuch a reddit nerd i got le referenz! lik this if u cry everytim"


How does someone poop in that situation? I mean it's not like poop just normally comes out of your butthole without *some* warning. Maybe she gave off a warning shot and you kept going, so then she thought it would be okay to shit in your face.


You sound like garbage.


HAHAHAHA so, so many little ones googling tub girl for the first time.

this gon' be good.


Hilarity! You're a cutie


Except PJs.  We can't have PJs in the chamber. We close an eye on Fridays though.


I'm actually not going to bother. I don't think I feel any compulsion to play another point and click mobile game.


The real father is an acquaintance (through the photography seen Im a member of).  He actually fled the country upon finding out the child was his.  For about 6 months after the child was born I would have extremely vivid dreams about hunting him down Liam Neeson style.  Quite frankly the man is a coward.  Am I still mad?  Yes.  Did I ever care what he had to say?  No


It doesn't matter if he helped make it popular or not. That account is not an iron man and is not on the iron man high scores, He should have remade when it was implemented.

*Edit* Downvote me all you want, it's the truth and that's why you don't like it.


Now that I think about it, it is pretty amazing how many kinds of lightbulbs there are.


Should be top comment.


You are literally worse than Hitler.


Lies. You know nothing of my work. How you assumed you are the expert of anything is totally amazing.


"We also have fewer horses and bayonets"


Downvote for being a pussy. He's a murderer and deserves it.


Stop blaming the victim. Just because Jupiter has a lot of gravity doesn't mean Jupiter is "asking" for it!


Here's what I hear: baby was born with Down syndrome. Mother wanted to give up, and was willing to leave her husband if he disagreed, and the dad was willing to do anything.

Only one of them is a parent.


CNN:  Always first, sometimes right.


Oh noes you used SJW logic against me!? I'M MELLLLLTIIING.

Newsflash, morons: I'm not into social justice bullshit and I still think your movement is fucking retarded and pointless.


No.  Well there comes a time when older people should stop driving.  Their reflexes are not as good and most of them can't see as well.  There's a time when they should quit driving.  I knew there was a time for me to quit when I had some near collisions and it scared me.  I drove until I was 90 and I knew I didn't need to drive anymore so I just parked my car.


I just realized the META WIN with his name.

EDIT:

    cout << "Reddit Lynch Mob to improper use of META!" << endl;


Hire a PI for the cheating wife. Shes probably meeting up for kisses while youre at work.


Lol Yu Tk HiM 2 dA TaCo BelL? EvEn WhEn He WaS. WaIt A MiNUte WhY OnLy 42 YeArS OlD. YoUr AgE PrEdIcTiOn Is OfF If U ThInk hE'S GonNA NeEd A hOvEr RoUnD aT aGe 42 YeArs oLd


I truly believe that we can accomplish anything we set our minds on. We only need the will to do it


Fuck you, you soggy cunt.


I'm learneding.  Started to think, should I turn my laptop?  Maybe get on my phone and turn off the auto rota......wait....this is reddit, its going to be in the comments.


It promotes and supports transphobia [\(that flies gladly in your sub\)](http://www.reddit.com/r/SRSsucks/comments/125dwz/meta_official_moderator_position_on_the_srser_meme/c6sc3p5) using the picture of someone who doesn't want their picture taken.

You'd be up in arms if the picture of the creeper from toronto were being used as a meme on SRS that insulted white males.


Saving jobs is never a good reason to do anything. Especially non-creative jobs that can be robotified.  Imagine the Ice-Delivery Union 308 forcing the use of ice men instead of refrigeration.


Dude has some scrawny arms.


My try at this http://www.gfycat.com/RectangularDopeyAmericancrocodile


Wow...just wow.

Can A female not do anything without her being called an attention whore?

FUCK reddit and fuck the misogyny

I am so done with this site.


Should have pulled more out of it, like in American Beauty.


I used to remember going to the store and think of all the things I could buy with $20, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I'm seeing a 90s ska album cover.


Perhaps in your language, it's valid in mine.

It would equate to calling schindlers list/amistad a fun movie, but whilst you probably enjoyed it... it wasn't exactly 'fun'.


Don't touch me you filthy casual


Would you loser nerds quit posting all this techy garbage here, you are ruining reddit.


This is probably the best one, since it doesn't include trying to fuck him over for doing something nice :)


I think it's incredible how downvoted you are for pointing out that there are jobs for religious organizations that don't involve religion at all.

Chalk it up to SRD's extreme anti-atheist bigotry.


The rain.  Sincerely, Dubai.  Well, I miss rain anyway.


Using what, siri? hahahaha


In the front. Same general spot as where the penis is located.


GOOD. All parents are doing when they do this is disrespecting their child for money, and screwing someone at the restaurant out of part of their (already low) paycheck.


What's happening is that the spring is compressing at a rate such that the center of mass is accelerating at 9.8 m/s^2

Its really cool to watch.

Edit: video - http://youtu.be/8UimHnsWSBc


Funny, it's not even their word. The US invented chips.


But I can't afford a trillion microphones!


doesnt make you better than him


Nope, OP is a K9 dog.


See that statement isn't factually accurate. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FortressCraft  is my source please provide a counter source that supports you stance.


This is the manliest fucking thing I have ever read in my life.


Wow my 8 year old niece said the same thing while I was playing a couple days ago. Are you 8 or just a pendantic asshole?

It's not perfect or to my liking. Better make sure everyone knows!


Zero. He's always wanted me to be my own person.


Yeah they have a bunch of cool shit there. Went there once a couple years ago when I visited Halifax. Lots of cool posters etc


I think you had a stroke while writing that sentence.


tons of people played the beta, so you don't need to give your own opinion on 10 hours

EDIT: i've never been this turned on in my life


That manager is awesome.


I need a second account so I can upvote that twice.


I feel like we deserve updates on your life now from here on out.


Why with that tone? I apoligized for accusing you of using the exact same pictures, plus I **have** seen the big table with the house, and the crypt. Why would I just randomly be making it up?


That's good mood food.


he used qss, the damage still went off if u didnt notice


She is trying to deny the Holocaust on a molecular level.


I take issue with the apple mac references in the design.  They should know better most of the users are not using that shit platform.


**Never** trust rsvp's on facebook.

(also, holy upvotes, batman!)


Extreme vigilante justice on par with riots in 3rd world countries? Jesus christ calm the fuck down.

e: wow the downvotes, when did we become iraqi terrorists


I really thought it was going there. Relieved.


south park is better then porn, and porn is better then family guy...I mean at least porn has a storyline thats going somewheres


Karmanaut is *le*terally Hitler.

edit: thank you for being so brave hitting that upvote button.

edit2: well, I think this is my most upvoted comment


>but most of them are a grouping of great, smart guys who are going places with their lives.

 i haven't seen one like that yet


My response is always "They can do whatever they want. Why aren't *you* trying to cure cancer?"


Yep.  Just a Hollywood production.  Shabby one at that.  No blood or anything included.

[Enjoy](http://wellaware1.com/giffords/giffords.htm)


Too late, already queued up my dick picks.

Hope you are prepared to be veeery disappointed.


too bad it wasn't a regular guitar that was worth something instead of a cheap piece of plastic toy

still nice though, not sure how much collectors resale value their is in that though


Toddlers are like suicidal drunks. My son does the same thing with water, and he spends way too much time trying to stick his fingers into electrical outlets. It's ridiculous.


After Batman was done raping Pickachu he dug up the bones of his mother and fucked the skull. While the helpless pokemon screamed for help from the closet, Batman thought of ways to rape his next victim.


How can anyone be killed by a moped... was he beaten to death with it?


Upvoting for the best ARPG in years.


I like shorts, they're comfy and easy to wear!


look... i just don't care that it's a repost... no one should... in fact, this bot should be banned because he's making unimportant posts that don't belong in any topic!


Well, it still doesn't contain any


So because you don't like his music, he's gay, and that's the best insult you can come up with for someone. He enjoys the sexual company of men, and that idea is so horrific to you, that you project that fear on to other people.

Either that, or you're so sad and pathetic you can't come up with a better insult than, 'GAY OMG.'

Good job, champ.


women don't poop, silly


\>missing the point

In a few days the .gifs will redirect to a 404 error message because chan thread are automatically deleted after a while.


I don't know why, but this made me enormously sad.


Escher was an overrated prick. Fuck you if you like his work.


All my friends are really sweet and there is a teacher who is being sweet to me, and she really likes me. And I have to be a great listener at kindergarten.


I'm not downvoting you because your story isn't reprehensible... I just don't want to see your story again.


Haha my 4-year-old just asked me why I was laughing. I told him because someone farted in someone else's face. Now we're both laughing!


us troops need to put up a dennis rodman poster ouside the base now and photoshop isis in it.  REJECTED


Imagine if you purchased the milk in a pitcher-like container in the first place?


Yeah, sure. Whatever makes you feel like the true keyboard warrior you are. 82nd chairborne.


I thought so once, but someone had simultaneously flipped the switch.


>Blessed is he who comes *on the face* of the Lord.

FTFY


Yes.  Its crazy fun.  Its too much fun, really.  The hours are tough.  Its hard being funny at 7 am - then shooting throughout the whole day and having to be just as funny at 6 PM.  But we get paid well for it, so SUCK IT UP, WILSON!


Except for gjallarhorn because the wolf pack rounds track.

Edit: Downvoted for having gjallarhorn.  I also have fate bringer black hammer red death thunder lord and any other gun you want but don't have :D.


Emphasis on the last part.  Find out who called the cops, tell them to go fuck themselves.

If you can't, leave a slightly more publicly appropriate note out in the apartment complex where whoever did it will likely see it.


Homosexual behavior is wrong to me. But I don't care what people do in their private lives. If they want to marry for the money or financial benefits, why even call it a marriage?


> Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.


the fake story for karma whoring is even stronger


That would have left her a bit shaken. Shaken, but not stirred.


wowww. 1 hour in and you already gave up on not answering questions?


I wonder if back then people got as angry the second time someone showed them that card.


He will be slaughtered for dishonoring the motherland


Mouth wa- Dammit!

Edit: Right in the inbox. Ow.


I didn't see one cowboy say the game was officiated correctly. You are looking for those comments. All the top cowboy posts were ones saying it was a bullshit call. Stop being a jackass


Wow that movie takes another spin with that in mind.  That sex scene where he's checking himself out in the mirror?  I can just imagine Christian Bale thinking "yeah, that's something Tom Cruise would do"

Edit:  Guys.  Imagine Tom Cruise doing that in real life.  That's the joke.  I don't care about the script.


Wow I think your ex dodged a bullet.


Remember to donate plasma!


*allegedly

edit:  WOW. FUCK YOU GUYS. I CREATED THIS THREAD.... DON'T FUCKING DOWNVOTE MY COMMENT...... it's funny, the comment. take a second look.

edit2: wow.


This is BULLSHIT! this is exactly what they want, goddamn this angers me.


It's funny watching atheists squirm when there scientific theories don't work out. Perhaps they need to go back to grade school to learn the meaning of the word 'theory'.


This is a lie.  5 year olds can't drive. :3


I don't know, I just feel that we should have some sort of serious commitment in place before we start integrating the families.  Plus I do value the alone time I get once a month.

I have no problem going to Christmas with him once we're engaged or married, it just seems a little early right now.


Finally an honest answer.


I don't get why people don't believe in the official 9/11 Commission Report. I think 9/11 was just an unfortunate incident caused by 19 random radicals who hijacked planes with box cutters. Why the downvotes?


I am a black guy with shortish hair but sometimes i'll find long strands of brunette hair between my cheeks.

I don't know who's doing this but don't stop

Edit: look at all these upvotes!  I should do an IAma....


Obvious dried out meme is fucking retarded.


> They're about to clog his facebook newsfeed with someecards about night shifts and the emergency department.

Holy shit, this is dead on.


I don't like SRS one bit, but you're worse. Lying doesn't get you a sub.


Whenever I'm pissing next to someone who spits in the urinal, I ask "What is it about cock that makes your mouth water?"

It's a joke I stole from Reddit, and it always gets a laugh.


STFU you over exaggerating piece of shit

Edit* Alright ladies, I just hate over exaggerations from people trying to be serious.


'Cause when you brush for the night, you are killing plaque?


Pulling out the #notallfeminists card huh :)


I was not expecting that ending.
Edit: Wow this is my first comment that went over even 10 points. Blew that one out of the water. Thanks reddit for making my dreams come true. Hey mom! Look at me!! I'm popular!!!


If you are concerned with how many points your comments get you are a buffoon.


Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.


/r/christianity says it was all gods plan. how dare you.


Or at least made them adequately seasoned.


'Murican. A very confused 'murican who was picturing a bunch of British people shoving gourds in their water glasses.


You know they make cameras without phones in them, right?


How about a simple, clear warning on the roof door? And, I thought some asshole put this **on OP's friend's door** but now learned she wrote the note herself. She's got problems, for sure. Slightly less rude than putting this on one person's door specifically for them, though. Still.


TIL there's competitive miming.

TWO MIMES ENTER THE INVISIBLE BOX, ONE MIME LEAVES.


ITT: people who don't know why performance art is a thing


Thats pretty interesting... you terrible piece of shit.


Black atheist here.

Those aren't black people, those are just niggers.


That's good. That means in about 20-30 years they'll all be dead and France will be free of anti-gays.


Im the life of the party. Whats your excuse?


i think i found it, it was in my ford aerostar between the seats


sorry, but that was a really boring response to a person who seems to be one of your biggest fans


hahaha thats funny i get it giraffs that funny also how do you delete a comment?


> doesnt flush until its at the brim

Toilets don't work like this. You will never fill one up to the brim by peeing unless it's clogged.


You obviously didn't watch the Republican debates. Obama better get some lube from his Democrat buddies for when Romney rapes him.


Omg, I completely missed it. Seriously. Big black dick hanging there and all I could see was passed out boob.


Donut Hole, you're mentally challenged, right? I'm just guessing. I mean like legally retarded type of thing. Am I right? I'm almost certain you are pretty much a retard. Thanks Donut Hole.


moral of the story, fat girls must always go on the bottom


"Pure genius"?  With all due respect, even if you are right, fuck you.


No that's a tumble weave in its natural habitat.


i think i'm the only person on reddit who knows what you're talking about


It is, even to the marijuana community. Which is why vapes exist


So, just so I've got this straight, if he'd have phrased it differently you'd still be seeing him?


...stay tuned for more on the Animal Planet.


You probably shouldn't be skilling Ice Path anyway unless you have a Eul's or a shitload of setup. Even a stupid person can see and dodge Jakiro doing triple a backflip into a pirouette before firing off quite possibly the weakest stun in the game.


>hooked it up to my Netflix account for Christmas

*ring ring*

"Hi, sweetie. We couldn't help noticing you keep streaming R-rated movies, so we decided to turn on parental controls."


Finally a use of that that isn't just some guy going "LIKE A BOSS" after someone tells a story about finally buying a box of milk or whatever from that girl he likes.


Only if you get caught.


I used to rate comics, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I think Gabi would do the trick.  Plus she could also actually beat them all up..including the men

http://i.imgbox.com/vnhym5WI.jpg

*edit - She is Gabi Garcia, worlds open weight womens jiu jitsu champ.  Busted for steroids, mmhmm, and now looks a lot less like godzilla. http://i.imgur.com/X65nPgs.jpg


I used to say "Swiper, no digital copying!" like you, but then they took some marrow from my knee!


Oh. Your. God!

I must be massive in that case!!

Edit: What's up with the circlejerk against me?


*The Princess Bride* is one of the most perfect movies ever made. All the roles are filled by the perfect actors, the level of special effects is perfect, the music (written by Mark Knopfler) is perfect.

And if you've not read the book, you should.


You're bloody amazing.


And then when they have an MRI it would explode out like an inverse shotgun

I'm not sure weather this is true but futurist J Logan Olson mentioned it on either the "Facerocker" or the "To the fucking future podcast"


I think you might be over thinking it a little bit


I wonder if she was the [pink haired girl or the dark haired girl.](http://imgur.com/gallery/E4PjU)


Here, catch this upvote! Hang on tight- it's going to be a rough storm.


That's not a plothole. That's like a plot crack.


Wow... Ungratefulness at its finest.


That's some deep shit right there.


**LOL REACTION GIFS SO FUNNI XDXDXD**

**THUMPS UP IF LE REDDIT IS THE BEST!**


My theory is that he's continually checking his back to make sure he doesn't try to sneak up on him.


Femshep or bust.

Also lesbian sex. Lesbian. Sex. LSBN. Sex. :)


But then a murder happens and everyone's looking at you to solve it.


Fact: real gods don't need prophets, because you can see them in the sky.

Jupiter > Allah


Smashing? http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/avengers-hulk-nigel-thornberry-pun.gif


Here is a real LPT, learn to cook.


It wasn't your fault.

She walked out in the middle of traffic, in the dark, wearing dark clothes.

She could've easily prevented that, and you couldn't have prevented it.

It wasn't your fault.


Sounds like you're mad.

To be fair, I don't say this, but all the spiteful energy put towards any form of "trolling" is...funny.


Whenever I'm in the wrong lane and can't make the turn I wanted, I simply remain calm and take a detour, eventually getting back to where I wanted to go. No reason to potentially cause an accident or road rage incident by making abso-fucking-lutely I don't miss my turn...

  But that's me.


DC, a district without statehood, is part of the "United _States_ of America"?  So are the Virgin Islands, then?


Finally, punish them with your penis should these measures fail to inspire.


your mom wasn't that good looking either when she couldn't afford to abort you because she spent all her money on crack


I received the blue kind as my 9th birthday present.


Calling MC top 3 protoss in the world is kinda ....wrong right now


My thought as well.  The question was bad enough, but the answer was WTF-worthy.

"What's the difference between a car and a banana?  The car has wheels."


I had up voted a couple of comments until I saw this. I immediately went back and downvoted everything but this.

I love you so hard.

**Nothing wrong with me**


That woman shouldn't be there, she's clearly closed minded.

This makes me angry. I wish you the best, man


A thing can promote rape culture and still be a reference to a thing. Those are two separate points, really.

edit: [I should kow better than to try to discuss feminism with a bunch of twentysomething-year-old men](https://i.imgur.com/Opv98.gif)


Why not just merge your whole morning with class. Bring a bucket and sponge and bathe yourself. Or you can use ice soap in a pinch.


Phones are for... uhm...
Making phone calls. Right?
They invented other shit before that to watch videos...


I thought this was a story about Eric Cartman until the dad showed up.


receiving (removed the) head is a sign of respect.


Good at making kids. Raising them? Not so much.


Yea, this Yoohoo I had been drinking sprayed out of my mouth and all over my monitor and keyboard from how fucking funny that was.


Probably another one of OPs brothers accessories latching on to a new host.


Couldn't be any worse than those wiki editor fascists whose entire 24/7 world is making sure half-truths are protected and unchanged to actual truths.


That makes sense since they're essentially scars.


good point actually.
bet none other than obama himself will praise their enduring commitment to relieving moscow residents of their property ^^


??playting dog.  troll is diff man with club


I bet u can't even adc and mid


If it is true, not wanting to be identified is fairly reasonable.


No, you do not have a right to dictate to marginalized groups how they feel about things.

If you'd like a place that caters to cisgender straight people, please consider *the entire rest of Reddit*.

In the mean time, you're welcome to come here and post if you feel compelled, but this subreddit is not designed for nor seeking to cater to you.


/r/yishansucks

Although I am disappointed.  There has been a severe drop in good content being submitted to that subreddit over the past few weeks.


See? You already have a negative point of view. Changing this, is what I'm talking about.


Pissed me off to no end when I heard them booing.  We dealt with Manning's playoff difficulties for god knows how long, but we never booed the fucking team at home.  You'd get beaten to death if you did that shit at the Lucas Oil

You've only had him for three fucking years, Denver.  Show him some respect.


>Ah. Male cheerleaders. It's a very cool profession if you can get pussy from it. I myself am not very good at it.

Edit: Fuck me right? Most are cool. It was a bad joke m'kay.


My school had a guy named Kyle who was a loner with a face that would scare puppies and kittens and to boot, he was socially awkward. But he was the school's best athlete. A 6'5 and 230lbs muscular neckbeard. He always made sure the popular and attractive athletes didn't band together or play favorites or he'd go extra hard on them on the court. Good ol' Kyle.


I USED TO TINK IT WAD HOT BUT DEN I TOOK A ARROW TO DA KNEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That's the way with extremists. "If you're not in lockstep with us, you don't count." Religion or politics, it's the same. You're only considered to be "in the group" if you're just as fanatical.


No one rides bikes anymore, except peasants.  This whole idea is ridiculous and a waste of taxpayer money.


( •_•)>⌐■-■

( •_•)

( ;_;)


I used to be a 10/10, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


I explained it to my girlfriend as "imagine me reaching into your vagina and somehow grabbing your ovaries"

Its not cool...


Uhm.. they both look like cigar paper to me. That would be two blunts, as he said.


You're a Hobbit, Harry.
edit:  My highest rated comment, cool.


Mood swings now? First your raging pissed because I said I don't have time to work out, now you're all calm and collected.


One of my favorites (besides DJ) was Rio because I got the highest scores. I was never a fan of Venice because I thought the flow was weird. I like real Venice Beach better.


and you to /r/neckbeard

[This](http://wizardsteaching.pbworks.com/f/1222660962/Iraqi%20Men.jpg) is how men dress in countries where they don't attract women.  It's pure comfort.  You see a difference between that and how men dress here?

pay attention kid, you might just learn something here


Did you ever admit the truth to her?


Sure, but i'm glad it happened.  Mizzou needed to be introduced proper like.  Thanks for giving me that little satisfaction.  BTW, we've won two in a row and we no longer cry in the shower from your forced and unwanted sexual advances.


you are freakin adorable


**nope sorry OP it says *"Atheisys are gay and faggots and need an arrow to the knee"* you guys upvoted it too you pathetic godless morons**


I think you may have confused being terrible and flopping.


So what you want is to point out the flaws in another person, rub their face in their logical inconsistency, and have them still like you as a person?


It's San Bernardino county. The same thing happened to me. I got a speeding ticket in Joshua tree and called off work and drove an hour and a half to court just to realize all they were doing is taking your plea, and asking if you wanted trial by declaration or trial in court


Indecent? Child please. if you think that's indecent you should get the fuck off reddit than you indecent piece of shit.


>eh?

Well the "Canadian" part checks out at least.


Yeah, for example: this post.

Have any other examples, at all?


ooops. the book thief.


Sounds like you two are complete fags for each other. Incest is disgusting enough but homosexuality is one of the worst crimes a person can commit. It takes a great deal of moral deprivation to go against God's natural laws. I hope that you know that is a sin punishable with eternal damnation. I will pray that you change your ways.


That shit head screaming "Acknowledgment 9 months ago would have kept that from happening..." what the fuck, nothing says quality human being like proclaiming "I have successfully dehumanized my political opponents to the point that I can calmly enjoy watching them shot in the face."


-99999 for being a manchild.  You're too old to be playing games.


You are on another level. I like it!


Too bad its not working and this sub is still full of losers


mothafuckas act like they forgot about Dre


...aaand here comes the karma train.


I don't even have a PC capable of playing it, but even I am fucking excited to see what they can do with that game.


I'm very happy with my life and I appreciate everything that has ever been done for me!


And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling!

*Cut!*

GDAYYYYY MAYTE!!!  DINGO BAYBEYYY


I used to refuse to watch the Lorax, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Or is it the shortest sad story ever written?


It also cures le cancer and theism. [420]


I am really good at photoshop, AMA!


I used to be a biotic god, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I'm just here so I don't get fined.


\#educate yourself on the history of /r/unexpected.  It's not my job to \#educate you.


It's criminals like you that make me sick.


I don't know what that means, because I don't speak idiot.


Cumbox, the early days.


the millionaire gets more karma and the poor get downvoted

i am the 99%


HAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY STEVE FROM ACCOUNTING.

Seriously fuck Steve.

Edit: Double fuck Steve


Do you seriously feel that /r/NFL is a fantastic place for Seahawks fans to participate?


Probably wasn't a very tight squeeze on the way out.


So you are Norwegian and still think that it´s an EU championship?


average street in flint:
church

liquor store

gun store

pawn shop

repeat


It's not at all blatant, she's tripped and steps badly, I see no intent.


Don't answer them, you can't win anything, only lose.

Let the lawyers settle.

Also, be careful what you write on Reddit about it, and at best: Shut up about it.


Damn, my message was too complicated again.


Before its time? 10 seasons man. Most shows would kill for that run


Yes, so terrible. Enforcers of justice who are not afraid to call in a couple of dozen pizza orders to your house. Watch your back, animal tossers.


Man, sharts are the worst.


Why are you thanking him?

Edit: You win some, you loose some. I lost this one.


Wouldn't surprise me if he had a dastardly large cock though. He would probably dress it up and try making funny faces with it.


No one cares about that crazy Negro Morgan Freeman.


Can no longer STAND

LEGS

STAND

LEGS


If you do, stick with pipes or snus, they are cheap, far far less addictive, and healthier.

BEFORE DOWNVOTING, HOW ABOUT DOING SOME FUCKING RESEARCH.


About $100.  Its my wife's fav game and while I have never played it, I knew she would enjoy the gift.


*That* was the biggest letdown of your entire life thus far? Damn, you're a spoiled piece of shit.


You will also get to operate the train if you have 10+ hours clocked for the train simulator on your Steam account.


Just by looking at the picture I can tell it didn't burn perfect


Well la-di-da, Mr Fancypants!


HEY, FRIEND! [THIS](http://http://chronicle.com/article/The-Shadow-Scholar/125329/) WILL GIVE YOU AT LEAST ONE PERSPECTIVE ON THE SUBJECT. IT'S A GREAT READ!


Some kids just want to watch the world learn.


wow, haven't seen this one-two interchange before &#3232;\_&#3232;

edit: lol downvotes, lurk moar you newbs.