and this little piggy went *crinkle crinkle crinkle* all the way to his bedroom.


not really, it'd probably just result in being one of those items that effectively becomes standard, like the degreaser, which would be the opposite of interesting.

there's a balance as to how powerful engie can be

it's not like he needs the whole +30% speed

edit: also, lol at all the downvotes


You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.


Tell ya what! I'm gonna stop commenting seeing as (Judging from all my down votes) I'm not welcome in my own comment. I'm sick to death of these retarded Redditors who just down vote for the hell of it. Stop twisting my words will ya? I never said that Minecraft was a type of coding language for fuck's sake!


Idea! Lets try and get this on the Ellen show. She's really big on anti bullying and I think she might get this some more publicity. You can email her here http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=10&adid=sitemap OR you can use this to find her twitter/facebook http://ellen.warnerbros.com/about/howdoifind.php


You have a horrible username but that's OK, I still love you.

EDIT: Unless anyone missed it, this was aimed at "superatheist95".


What do you need a book for?

TV time is Family Time.


Thanks captain hindsight!


As a black man ... I can't even finish this sentence with a straight face.


I didn't know about the rule until people started talking about it. And as I said to the other guy, we don't all do what we should do we?


Alan, please procreate,

-Dad


Shut the fuck up fag.


This is my real answer...


It's for a friend. Yes....a friend*


I really have to reiterate this I think- HIDE THE CARD, even copy it somewhere if you have to. anywhere he can't get it. Maybe sit on this a few days, consider the advice from this thread, and consider what you think you should do. Personally, I don't think this is something that  should be brushed off or rationalized, no matter how comfortable that option might seem.


>I don't see why my tattooed peers should cover up something so harmless.

Because no one cares about your "creative" story behind your "body art." I really don't want to see it when I'm ordering food. They're simply unprofessional. Almost as bad as ear gauging or people who fill their face with excessive shrapnel.

Maybe I'm in the minority for the millennial demographic on this.


I don't believe mass relays are ships.


Shouldn't you, kind of, not be breaking promises you make to any of the kids?

edit: Bad parents out in force, apparently


good point. damned crackers.


You idiot you're not supposed to refer to bB by its full name.

You didn't even read the rules did you?

I screencapped your post and sent it to the staff.

You're gonna be banned soon. Enjoy.


I refuse to listen to reason.


>I come here to participate in **thought-provoking dialogue**

LOL, you think this site is "thought provoking"? Must not be too bright if you think the conversations on this site constitute "thought provoking". You must have never set foot on a University campus (state schools and community colleges don't count anymore, sorry).


She lost her baby skin?  Is that like when Maggie lost her baby legs?


Well I was born in Denver CO and work in disaster relief in the US so yes I do put work into being an American.


Female who sits around doing nothing but eating, yelling at men, posting on tumblr = sociologist,  crusader for equal rights, and expert beekeeper


You're a few weeks late on that joke, since senior night games are in the regular season.


We must defeat Al Gebra!


I am smart enough to get on a life boat if the ship is sinking. I am smart enough not to believe in a magic man in the sky. That makes me smarter than this priest.

Hate all you want, I am also smart enough not to care about imaginary karma on the internet.


DON'T YOU KNOW WHO HE IS?!?!! HE'S PLAYED CALL OF DUTY BEFORE!!!


Hua hua hua. It's funny because women are stoopeehd!


They likely didn't.

You need the child's Social Security Number if you want to claim them as a dependent. That means the whole family was likely off the books or they just took the financial hit and kept her off of paper.


did you see that chat thing on the right? [rub my wife ass](http://i.imgur.com/yAZgF.png).

i think we've gone full retard.


Honestly, yellow sums it up


HEY EVERYBODY LOOK THIS GUY KNOWS ABOUT ALWAYS SUNNY TRIVIA LET'S UPVOTE HIM


Once you point out the price savings you get SUPER LAID!

Source: am Jewish


$2000000 pls rofl

jk on my phne


We are so, so sorry Sir Bearington.


Inb4: this becomes a meme.


You are not a programmer you're a hobbyist programmer, Pong isn't A.I. and you spelled literally wrong, and used it in a way that makes me cringe multiple times.


That's the thing that disgusted you?


I'm not embarrassed in the slightest. I have every right to press the frontiers of the first amendment. I'm aglow with weary accomplishment and I'm secure in my "smartness", I have you snot-nosed Pokemoners tied up in knots. Incidently, it was a Jewy story. Now search your program about why those verboten words make your knee jerk hard enough to kick your own baby teeth out.


I try but it keeps saying their number is blocked.


Good call. I'm less impressed.


Hanlon's Razor: "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."


I find it funny that people actually see stuff like this and don't realize that it's exactly what she wants.

Straight up slut.


Moral for OP: Obtain bear.


Wow I didn't realize this anti Chris Brown circlejerk was still funny and original to redditors.

Chris Brown is a douche!  Upvotes to the left!


being underpayed, overworked, and having terrible conditions tends to make you do stuff like that.


Another retard advertises his/her mental deficiency, and utter lack of command of the English language.

Their $7 an hour life must be wonderful.


Cool Ali story from the 1980's: My Dad has been a huge Ali fan since his early days. One time in the '84 or '85, Dad was on a plane flight with my older sister (who was a newborn). He hears someone say "You have a beautiful baby girl" from the aisle. Lo and behold it's Muhammad Ali. Apparently Ali asked to hold her and kissed her forehead.


...I wanted that to be on Netflix you fucktard.


And now Google knows just a little more about you than you'd like.


Downvote for adding nothing of substance.


You can almost smell the frustration in that comment.


That, or she was a selfish bitch.  Either way, leaving is the right thing to do!


When in doubt thrust it out.


I'm sure you're just making a joke, but I can play source games flawlessly on my Mac


I wwebsite on the internet


Gender roles are harmful. They're the leading reason males cannot understand the privilege they have and the oppression they are not exposed to. While gender roles persist we will have legions of crying manbabies declaring that the entirety of feminism is anti-male, just because they don't get 100% of the support and services they feel they're entitled to as males.


Stole it?  Everyone knows shit on the curb is free.  That's where at least two of our three couches came from.


Al-Jazeera is perhaps the most biased of all news sources.  They are basically a propaganda mouthpiece for Palestinian terrorists and their sympathizers around the globe.


only the best for RPG. He shouldn't have to look at those filthy pixels


I'm talking about my childhood, not yours kay? Bye.


>i love teaching but sometimes**,** fuck kids.

That is the most important comma in the history of the English language.


Typical American. Coke is shit.

Test it with a piece of pig fat. Coke dissolves that shit. Pepsi doesn't. I wonder if that is good for you...

EDIT: I FEED ON DOWNBOATS! DOWN ME MOARRRR

YARRR DOWN THE PLANK I GOOOO

YARREDDIT CIRCLESHIPJERK JUMP


>It's all in his intro song

Noooo-ooooone, drinks like Gaston, no one's quick like Gaston, no one's dick's as incredibly thick as Gaston's!


They have the Origen shirts so most likely they joined Origen, it'll be confirmed in a couple of days by xPeke.


Seal arena. Two seals enter, one seal leaves


Why are you assuming there is hate?


Yes.  He too is a white, suburban, middle-class male aged 15 to 35 on Reddit.


Hurr I like you, you I like, hurr hurr such a hilarious meme


It's not about the basement. It's about sending a message.


You are extremely insensitive and classless.


Uncoordinated and ineffective.


No but I have a promising career ahead of me.


Same situation in my family as well, with my dad leaving when I was nine.  He spent an astonishing amount of time and energy dodging the courts mandating him to pay child support.  And when my youngest sister turned 18, he called her on her birthday to say, "Hey, since you're 18 now, can you tell your mother that I don't need to pay all the back child support I owe...?


Looks like someone has nothing better to do than try and make others feel bad about themselves. which you havent. I think you have to be pretty secure in yourself to post something out there like this open for everyone to criticize you.


You're making a really big assumption that the guy working at subway for 5 years was clean.


why? dude looks like a faggot. peopel are just made about history channel because it used to show propoganda all the time. now it actually shows us reality tv shows and how life relaly is


He also turned water into wine. Do you want your child to be an alcoholic?


Kill yourself, bumblebee.


"It just came to me" says Modern Day Prometheus.


I used to be a natural treasure, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Technically twins could have different birthdays


You've been sadly misguided if you think any game developers care about customers.

Valve ruined CS:S and I don't expect CS:GO to be any better.


This might be the closest to what I would say.


Clips are for hair, mags are for guns. Know the difference.


Balls aren't touching.

Verdict: Not gay.


Came here to say that, I tip my hat to you good sir.


She's been storing up that gas since the Eisenhower administration.


No shit captain obvious. lol


You love **hot** scene chicks.


>we were asked to dress scantly for car-washs and hotdog stands.

That's what I call being a whore for a good cause. *bravo*


http://youtu.be/o9GdfzxNoaA

I pulled it


not unfair cause i WAS talkin' 'bout the animation. downvote me bitches!


>it was one of those times when the penis kept pumping load after load

Also, your teacher knew. You think they can't read facial expressions like a book? ITS WHAT THEY DO ALL DAY, look at faces.


Not really. That's barely half of minimum wage for a month.


Chewbacca.

Am I doing this right?


I expect more from /r/GetMotivated not the internet.


She tried to "naked man" your mom?


WHICH OVERLORD HAS THE NICER ASS?!?!


Yeah just put "Source: " and then the twitter link. That's more effort than most people do when they post, so thanks.


If you can't figure out DDWRT/OpenWRT, you need a lot of education before even trying to set up something like this. If you are too lazy to Google it, then gtfo.


Hitler- ive got a better idea, ive got a better idea...oh no its the same idea, its the same idea


How is this not the most up voted comment.

I think it's way more clever than the "number 2" comment that's getting x4 the up votes.

Edit: 30 down votes in less than 15 minutes?! Gee, I wonder if someone has a bunch of botted accounts...? Feel proud!


Wear it proudly my friend.


He was busy raping women, molesting children and marrying 6 year old girls.


This is fucking insane.


wow, congrads to them, they have done a great job.


So wonderfully simple. Instead of trying to justify or rationalize the line or the universe itself, call a spade a spade. Fuck George Lucas.


I know of 101 Dalmations that beg to differ

**Edit**(Darn the downvotes) I get what he was saying now, thanks Kitchenfire.


I think that we need to bring back private prosecutions for government misconduct. Instead we've developed this system where the officials like the TSA guy break laws with impunity and face no repercussions.


you only need one of each. Fuck You. (I guess technically that's two u's. Fuck it, I don't give a fuck.


Like I've said in other messages, I aim to please in sex, and for me that means being careful. So I havent really had much real complaint. Nothing too bad.


I will shoot myself in the foot, not get treatment, then demand for you to respect my flesh wound. "I can't walk, I have a flesh wound". "You don't know what its like to have a flesh wound!".

Yep, living with the consequences of ones own choices is such hard work, I had better dump that burden on others who didn't make that choice for me.


*Someone's* asking to be invaded...


The article is clearly describing an introvert. Too introspective, spending time alone rather than in group activities... That's clearly an introvert.


Skimmed through the text.

You graduate, you work, you die. All things are attached to the company.

No GF? We do that for you.

Problems with landlord? We do that for you!

Free time? WE FILL THAT FOR YOU!

Vacation? The office is a good vacation spot!

You are moving ofshore for 3 years. We took care of everything.

You are the company.


what? are you kidding me? that's not funny, true or not that isn't something you talk about


A sympathy mustang...Fucking rich people.


I was more talking about what Grimer is directing his attention at.


>I don't feel bad though, he was a terrible person

You don't seem that nice to me either tbh.


Thanks, we're already creating another platform.


That's believable and kind of boring.


Wow. A kid dies and you have to take a stab at fucking YOLO.

Real class act.


It's performance art, man. You just don't get it. It's about how the system is corrupt, man. This is gonna blow people's minds, man! Those fatcats won't know what hit 'em!


Federal law doesn't trump state law. If that was the case there would no be any legal marijuana in this country.


Still a better love story than Twilight.


Sundin sucked. He's part of the reason we haven't won since 67


Oh my god I read that whole thing.


No, I am me. I am I. You are you. You are part of the group. I do not identify with the group.

I will always disagree.


You let em vote and **BAM** - your dick is too small...


Agreed. Post an obituary or give us a name


Right? What a shitbag...


I'm not trying to be an internet badass, that is literally what happened, I laughed. It's not attention i'm seeking but at least more variation in the comments than "of all the horrible things i have seen, this is the worst. everyone i am a deep person who has complex emotions".

I guess I'll just unsub from this constant repost subreddit and stick to theync.


This went into far too much detail, and I feel like I need a shower.


We need more evidence in order to draw good conclusions. We can't base our scientific research on only 2 cases.


I know, strap on fantasy anal sex always brings a tear to my eye.


I used to play chess against atheists, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


That I'm a geologist?

All the damn time.

That the chicot aquifer is amazing? like 10 or so times.


No seriously, I hate them ragheaded, sand-niggers with every fiber of my being.


I felt like shit got ***real*** at that point.


Robben cuts inside to his left? WHAT? CALL THE NEWSPAPERS. /s

Edit: well so much for the joke....


"mama, when did Ben Franklin discover electricity?"

"NONSENSE, *I* invented electricity! Ben Franklin is the DEVIL!"


If it weren't for the good comics that flow through occasionally, people saying shit with pls on the end, saying "k", or "accualy is dolan," people like you, make me want to unsub.


You can stop believing girls when they say that they were raped just because they had a drunken hookup with someone that they later regretted (actually happened to me). The 1 in 6 rape statistic in America is a complete myth.


Maybe she wants her daughter to date other girls so that she doesn't have to worry about her kid getting knocked up.


someone else please upvote this.


>Who are you going to go with

The better product.


Really six months and she went from basic math to basic algebra. If that is all the videos can do for her, then the videos arn't the best.


I bet his girlfriend broke up with him after that.


I WAS GOING TO QUESTION THIS POST SIMILAR TO YOU, BUT THEN I TOOK AN ARROW TO LE KNEE....

> tfw


I'm laughing thinking about your dad laughing.


Atheism is the opposite of enlightenment &#3232;\_&#3232;

Also she*


Hey, only took him 5 minutes. Don't tell me your legs never went numb from redditing on the can for too long.


Only if you can recite rule -0.


You're NEVER the little spoon. You're either the big spoon, or she is the jetpack. Whooshing noises are appropriate.


He's not being a good dad; he's being an unprofessional teacher.


Jaywalker got run over by a cement mixer?

Justice has been served.


It wasn't rape, so no, it wasn't used as evidence.


You and your friend did the adolescent version of killing a hooker together. That shit makes you brothers for life.


>,this is called playing soccer.

FTFY.


Well, hopefully in the height of all this excitement, you won't be blinded by the karma.


TOKE UP FOR THE CANCER BOY


The bad part? The bench used to be white.


Because we need another show [filled](http://thefederalist.com/2014/03/13/five-things-neil-degrasse-tysons-cosmos-gets-wrong/) with [dishonest](http://thefederalist.com/2014/04/30/how-cosmos-does-religious-history-badly/) history.


Germans are excellent at deciding certain things need to go.


I stopped at "its." Sorry, looked promising...


It took me about 2 seconds with my finger on my iPad.

- Sent from my iPad


So he walked away with no injuries?  That's very suspicious.


Air Force had it too when I got in....

*The Air Force has "zero" tolerance for sexual harassment*

Every time I see quotes I imagine someone making the sign for them in the air, like they're sarcastic, so that line always bothered me.


This is quickly becoming every other social media sight*


It's like they have ESPN or something


Can you take this off... It's kinda akward... I mean you don't have to... But out of the decency of your heart...


Taco Bell's huge anti-weed base?


The reality is that she'll cheat on him in ten years, when the adulation is long over and the grim reality of being a caregiver has taken its toll on her and their marriage.

Under normal circumstances she'd leave him, but she can't now without losing her hero status.


I'm not going higher than 3 1/2. But what do I know, I'm only an 8 stories tall crustacean from the paleo.. ah fuck this shit.


Yes. That snap shot is old. Has OPs friend been carrying this 20 year old snapshot since his son died? If he has then OP has terrible timing. April Fool's and all that.


Also, piss on their leg while doing this to show dominance.


BETA AS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DA NEEL ARMSTRONG IS DYED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAPPY CAWSE NOW I GET TO PWAY WIT ALL HIS TOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #BETA4LYFE


Wait, who goes into their shower just for the sole purpose of pissing?


Rationalize it all you want but bottom line is you have a player talented enough to score anyway possible and he wastes his time charging into a crowded paint


That idea is basically the premise of every sitcom episode ever.


I wouldn't have bood them but if you know anything about Broncos football we boo all the time. It has always been that way. We expect to win.


actually I like your idea better


Male here. I approve of this message to 2XC!

Ladies, please take notes

EDIT 1 : Ah come on ladies, it was a failed failed joke. I can't even make women laugh on the internet.


You're the opposite of Reddit.


unless it gets pushed back again cuz pc gamers hard hard to satisfy.


Futurama. The giant space bees episode. Right after Leela watches them
singing Don't worry be happy:

Leela: Uh, were you just singing?

Bender: No, I was tellin' you not to worry. I'm not allowed to sing - court order.


Morello stealing ideas and needs a new name? I got this, we can call him Porello, just like the [Porrello](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleveland_crime_family) crime family from Cleveland, Ohio.


His insults were all targeted with merit, hers are just belligerent insults for the sake of controversy.


I'd put Yaya over Silva to be honest.

And I keep saying that if Yaya wasn't black, he'd be the first name on any team sheet in the world.

Edit folks; I believe first name in the **midfield** on any teamsheet in the world. I stand by it.

And for the guy who asked me to put a /s, i'd never.


I convinced 3 female employees that if you tilt your head back and pretend to shake a salt shaker into your mouth, your mind tricks you into tasting salt.

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I'm the offensive and tmi person around here.


I instinctively downvote anyone whining about downvotes. Maybe that could be your third edit.


I don't know what to believe anymore.


What the hell is wrong with people on this subreddit? Almost every top post here has the most negative comments. WHO THE FUCK CARES. Did it being at the wrong angle inconvenience you that much. If so, I'm sorry for your goddamn loss.


I've keep a supply of lady pads in my bathroom for a few months now, just in case lady friends might need them.

Better to have it and not need it, then to need it and not have it right?


le me used to didn't do le this, but then le me took le arrow to le knee? Le lol!!!


"I'M TOO SHY TO PUT [U]P a FULL PICTURE OF MYSELF"

-FTFY


The avenger was bad, but it's a three way tie in my book. Three cars so terrible I can't decide which is the worst:

**1. Subaru WRX**

**2. Scion Frs**

**3. Mazda Miata**


I love those just not that particular time.


As a rule if it's not a photo of cats, it's NSFW.


I imagine [this](http://i.imgur.com/lJQwJ.png) happened before the GIF


He is an employee who can be replaced. Whether the replacement will be as good as him is another question. He is NOT a chairman and Founder of a company with the ability to hire/fire anyone.


Exactly like working in a library or bookstore.


If you're a wimp, sure go tell the cops


But it didn't end with "it's snowing on mount Fuji" I call shenanigans.

Edit : [this](http://youtu.be/9y3baOVXpSE )


I've never done 'volunteer' work.  I am mostly opposed to it, because I can't really think of a single action or persons that needs any action completed for free.  Do most people volunteer just to meet people?  I'll try finding something, any particular areas/websites on how to find places to volunteer?


Didn't you know that kids who play video games become mass murders? Good thing she stopped you in time.


Meh.  More of an alt account than a novelty account.  Created when the doxxing shit was going on.  Could see the confusion though.


"Haaaaaaa dus it FEEEEEEEE?"


I've only ever done the 80 version of onyxia twice, mount dropped both times. one for me and one for my friend, not that rare ;)


Now the rocks are even redder, it must be Mars!


Oh boo hoo, nobody fucking cares, get over yourself.


So do you run out of the bathroom, yelling "I TOOK A HUGE NO-SMEAR SHIT!  LET'S HAVE ANAL SEX"?  I'm not sure that line would work on me.


I was thinking of internal eye bleeding, but yes, those things too!


The Hitachi jackhammer


Good for you. Is there anything you like that someone can hate you for?


False, also 2 ear canals, 2 nostrils, 2 eye sockets, and a mouth
-Dwight Shrute


Which is why you ended up so fucked up.


(⌐■_■)

( o_o)>⌐■-■

(ಠ_ರೃ)

( o_o)>ರೃ

( ಠ_ಠ)


Failure breeds failure.


Ok, check out this idea. I've designed this mat. Its like a floor mat, and it has different *conclusions* that you can jump to. I call it a 'jump to conclusions mat'. What do you think?


Shut up that's old and was never funny to begin with


the US Open? Are there any other international bowling championships? Don't get me wrong, and I am typing all this with a sort of smug smile on my face, but bowling championships? really? it's a sport now?


Doesn't change the fact that he's a little crybaby cunt :)


That's heartbreaking.


Why do you sound like an idiot?


Think of it this way.

Would you rather be the guy who got tricked into letting a few prisoners escape or would you rather be that guy who turns down an orgy with hot girls in skimpy outfits?


Well, that's unfortunately timed.

However, I don't throw that around lightly - AbsoluteTruth and many others have been harassing and stalking me on here for 48 hours and ruining this profile.

It's not the same as your mom, no and I understand that.

But it still sucks.


In 2009, after I knew the others were dead, I was taken out of the chains that I had been kept in for two years. I thought it would be fitting to hang myself using the chain. The best bit was after the first year then they took the handcuffs off and allowed me to stand up


Ahhahaha the Arsenal fans getting salty at this is amazing. He probably will return sometime in the future. Give it 3-4 years.


Well said, Fecal Nuggets


The old coot looks well haggard, so he'll very likely expire soon. When that happens, be sure to come back to /r/pics and karma whore a picture of him.


Now I'm worried that there are people that *don't* do this.


I'm not positive that there is hurtful material in the vaccine but I have done enough research to not trust it; therefore, do not feel the need to have the vaccine.


Shows how hardcore they really are.


set treadmill to top speed and go watch Netflix... boom what now?!?


Once a friend of mine got an old CB radio in his car.  We tested it out "Hi everybody!".  no answer.  "anybody out there?"...still no answer.  "Obama is the best president ever!" and I've never heard so many people say nigger at once


Top_comment_advisor was too long


They owe us the $499.99 fee for reprinting material. -CN


LOL You have skype baby?


And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say - that the poster's small balls grew three sizes that day. And then - the true meaning of a marriage proposal came through, and the poster found the strength of *ten* posters, plus two!


Oh shit, I thought it was from Arthur


Could have been worse. I was in a restroom with only 2 urinals and the stall was occupied. There was a line but apparently one guy couldn't wait. He decided to share a urinal with the guy next to me, but didn't tell him. I can't imagine what it must be like to see another stream join yours.


No, "but" was correct.


I feel like you enjoyed drawing this one.


The highest you can get


Hey, full_0n_rapist, you can take some tips from this kid.

*Keep your hands to yourself.*


I just can't stand white knight types like you. Like fuck off I'm not a dolphins fan but dude suck a dick


His palms are sweaty, his knees weak, his arms heavy, there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti.


So basically what you're saying is you are either a jerk or a thief (or both) and specifically *not* what this thread is looking for? I'm not sure anyone needs your AMA.


I don't think it's rude at all


Seriously?  The show has been a joke for the past decade. Whenever I decide to give it another shot I instantly regret it.


When you get to that age your body is no longer nearly as receptive to pain. There are many injuries the elderly can sustain without even noticing. Its a mix of diminishing blood circulation and quality of nerve endings signals.


joining a gym doesn't make you 'in shape' stupid


My asshole looks like a bullet hole in Chewbacca.


How do you feel dating a fatty fucker? Because it should feel bad.


Water *with a hint of scrotum*


It's always the 5th comment that gets downvoted though, that's a fact.

Edit: TIL reversed psychology does NOT work on Reddit.


so you would be less supportive of him because life will be harder for him?
makes sense


The one that is still under construction?  When do you think you'll have it finished?   It's been like 20 years.


The only logical answer is that I'm super-human.


Jokes on you, this was actually a clever trick to make you continue to wear many ties and look more professional.


>"because you posture is shitty and your abs are weak."

But I don't get why I would argue with you to be honest. Your posts usually reads like a teenager on tren has written them. So it is all cool, bro. Downvote and move on, bro. You are just like Rippetoe, bro. You know stuff, bro.


Those are generally called "acquaintances."


hurr

when is this cyborgmatt shit going to stop


"You like-like me? I, uhh, I like-like you."

*awkward hug ensues*


I don't think you understand, that *is* the solution, get a linux


And high school.

Actually, it seems like about every three years I look back in disgust at my former self.


Again, self fulfilling prophecy, we'll never know now whether or not she would have removed it on her own.

This just proves again why SRD is horrible at providing quality content, the members here are trigger happy.


I'm not an asshole. This man was truly very upset. I worked around him 8 hours a day 5 days a week for around 6 months. He had a low IQ and was obviously not of sound mind. Myself along with several of the inmates who had been on the unit awhile were fairly protective of the guy.


Russian agression? Even the western analysts readily admit it is all NATO doing the provocations.  You watch faux news?


That's my secret Captain, I'm always cumming.


You're a fucking idiot. There's nothing socially awesome about not being able to sleep. Fucking retard.


Nice try fat chick. The club is at capacity


Had me spooked for minute u dick lol


Solution to this I have found, separate blankets. Have your cuddle time or whatever together then once it's time for sleep use your own separate blankets.


You need to get laid.

Edit: Got the sarcasm from the get-go. My comment actually applies *more* when factoring it in.

Edit to the re-edit. No, take your misguided upvote back. I meant the length of his post was nowhere near warranted by the comical value (which was nil). Apparently 18 people disagree. That doesn't really sway my opinion.


Just wondering, do you ever masturbate?


I used to etch a sketch, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


A lot of buffets do let you get takeout though, they just sell it by the pound. IHOP should invent a dish called Pounds of Pancakes and then people could get them to go because they'd just charge by the pound.


I really couldn't give a shit.


1/2 the people in paris speak english. they won't all admit to it.

edit: at least half.


Logged in just to upvote you.  Brilliant.


> Asking people what they got on SAT/ACT/AP/whathaveyou

FTFY


Obama's policies got us to where we are now. And I don't think Americans want four more years like the last four.


Good point, I hadn't ever thought of it that way.


did you grab her tit?


Hey I'm no one to judge people's preferences but maybe you should have gotten an older girlfriend.


The op comes before faggot so I think its truly saying "pre-op faggot" which is equally offensive. Maybe chic fil a and opec signed a deal with captcha. How you gonna boycott captcha. Offensive and oppressive


I don't think it was big enough for that.


Idk why but I just read that in a Shmeegle voice..


Depends how many helium balloons they are currently holding.


We do our best to tell them to be thorough, but there really isn't much we can do if they're not. Our only tool is to remove the post, and we figure that users would rather have those 20 questions answered than nothing at all.


My high school teacher for AP bio basically taught us fermentation the exact same way. He wasn't technically advocating underage drinking, but he pretty much was.


If would be trivial if half of the Internet didn't go well out of its way to censor it in the first place and keep it that way for six months.


The way you said 30s kind of blew my mind


>It definitely seems with these new games that motion control and 3D are a good combination for headaches.

Fixed this for you.


Exactly. In reality, the silence that followed "Yosemite?" would have instead been a chorus of "fuck you's" and "communist" jeers and what not. This would culminate in a round of "U.S.A.!" chants, and then everyone would stop by The Olive Garden and McDonalds on the way home to watch The Bachelorette and shop for a new flat screen TV online.


And that difference is....?

Dorky glasses?

Totally dweebish haircut?

Pretty sure there's a receding hairline in there as well.

If that's it, then I'm heading down to Lil Hipster Town tomorrow and picking me up some of them.

I'm loving all the downvotes, What are you guys.. His gay lovers?


Don't take it so literally. She was only teething.


Eurofag here. He perfectly fits into the stereotype of a typical american. Fat, dumb and mildly retarded :)


Please, I don't know what I've done wrong.


there are people out there who still use word for their papers?


And the award for most backhanded compliment goes to...


She has a bigger dick than her dawg?

Edit: What? That's how I read it....

Edit 2: Hyulp! My eyes are bleeding karma.


Did you tell his dad?


I assume you are implying that she had said that?


If I hooked up with JGL I would be totally okay with that.


TIL Spoilers still apply a movie released over a year ago (Thor)


I hate when the traffic is actually moving at a decent pace and we're all still really packed, and there's one douchecanoe who is weaving in and out to get into the "faster" lane.


Instead you're at home, probably doing something actually productive.


They took the midnight thread going anywhere.


Yeah I understand man! Maybe it will happen again. Sometimes it depends on the guy that you play around with. Have any pictures of yourself? Love to see man, sssambo2015@gmail.com

Sam


They're minerals Marie!


You are a bumblefuck retard.

Dirty water kills 4000 infants a day. Not formula.


And what do we say to macboogiewoogie using his skills?

Not today.


The reason your not getting bigger is beacuse YOU'RE NOT DOING CARDIO. If you're heart can't supply enough nutrients (blood) to all your muscles how can you expect them to grow


Thank-you, Karma Police. For a minute there I lost myself.


Weed kills people, cigarettes are fine. The medical industry is run as much by people with money as anything. My kid is vaccinated. I'm not going to go taking away my own rights out of fear of something.


I don't mean to be Captain Buzzkill, but is anyone else thinking it would be kind of weird for a random fellow to walk up to you and hug you? Like, "it's ok, your son sent me, I'm from the internet". I can see why it's cool, but I just don't see myself getting over the awkwardness.


It's more like the kind of childish immature behavior that I'd expect from an American or teenager.

Specially since the OP is talking about the flavor of Oak, which is also an overtone desired by many other types of liquor.

By the way, haters shouldn't down vote me just because they disagree, it's a legitimate question that I already regret posting.


The San Diego Zoo can work miracles.

Both males? Who cares, they can do it.

edit: wow


That's the first time I upvote someone talking about God.


And then kick him in the nuts to make sure that it doesn't happen again.


Yeah, I figured you of all people wouldn't like it ;)

But I do believe it's for the best of the community, and all 3 mods agreed on the decision. We'll see how it goes.


ಠ_ಠ

Funny enough typing 'text suspicious eyeballs' into Google, this comes up as the first result.

If not for you, I'd have had no way to describe that.

(Edit: how is this my most upvoted comment ever!?)


Christianity is empowering, because it is the truth.  Stop wallowing in darkness, and look toward the light.  Jesus is waiting for you!


**Request for current pics to see how you turned out.**


Ahh OF COURSE a redditor knows more about jet fighters and flying them than an actual freakin' fighter pilot.


I still see it:(
My comments are bad and I should feel bad.


CONTENT! PROVIDE ME WITH CONTENT!


Every day is cake day, ~~Mr. Tyson~~ Your Majesty.


the fuck, how is height/size relevant here? weird, what a silly name for a dog too imo

hehe, here it comes!


While reading your post alone in my room, I must've pronounced that phrase 15 times. It's 10:34 on a friday night. What the hell have I done with my life.


Oh look it's woosh:30 everybody.


ALLEN! ALLEN! ALLEN! ALLEN!... STEVE!... STEVE! STEVE! STEVE!


The OP implied otherwise.


"I don't see an expiration date, slut."


You're thinking of a limerick, common mistake


Similarly, I once stopped at a stop sign and waited, expecting it to turn green.


Why every time things like this come up, people wanna trash talk feminist. I'm a feminist, and I think this girl is self-entitled crazy fuck. Punishing her for whatever crime she committed, has nothing to do with other women not being able to come forward. Try talking to an actual feminist, and not the shit you read on reddit or see on stupid tumblr.


It's like family making fun of each other.  They call us all fat Americans, we call them the ones who surrendered.

Fuck with either of us tho and we got each other's back.

Hope they catch and crucify this scum.


The world doesn't revolve around the end user.


**HEY GUYS MY NAME IS PEWDIEPIE AND I'M GOING TO PLAY MISSLEADING THUMBNAIL SIMULATOR 2015 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**


You can also tell it's gone full-retard when it downvotes people for doing something in a totally different thread.


To be fair, protecting and serving your asscrack is a lot of work.


Unintelligent blow at a dead guy, nice.


I think it seems to imply she is no longer her best friend.

As in, "her friend at the time was fat."

Not "her friend was fat, at the time."


All I can get, bitches!


     Subject too stupid to buy large VHS-wipe style electromagnet to wipe

     hard drives. Has instead created massive, impractical fire hazard.

     Suggest further surveillance but redact earlier fears of subject's alleged plots.


And I don't think anti semitism means what you think it does


Squidward smells

Gooood


"good" is a very subjective term. DayZ Standalone was a decent game, poor execution, but good concept.


OP probably sells drugs


i laughed at the fact that you are a nerd


Same thing happened to me with my girlfriend except supposedly I'm too into Linkin Park.

But in the end it doesn't even matter.


I DON'T UNDERSTAND

WHO IS THE MONK THE HOT DOG VENDOR OR THE CUSTOMER

YOUR JOKE FAILS


Jesus!  Is it like 50% of people in relationships cheat or something? Good god this thread is like a nightmare!


COME ON YOU PANSIES, -7 IS NOTHING! BET YOU CAN'T GET ME BELOW THE NUMBER OF DOWNVOTES HIGHLY HAS BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL USELESS!

I EVEN DOWNVOTED MYSELF TO HELP YOU OUT, YOU WILL DEFINITELY NEED IT.


Google+ has this feature to watch YouTube videos with friends. It's quite alright, you can talk, laugh or chat about a clip while viewing it in perfect sync.


funnier than the original post.


I know!  Those things are expensive!


Why the fuck do you care i care or not? And why do you use foul language when you speak with me? I wasn't talking to you. Off you go! Scram!


Special Need number 1 for that kid is an asskicking.


He's not really harming anyone at least in that photo, and I assume that he didn't after, but he's an at least 20 something man posing with his shirt raised around a group of high school girls.

Now ask yourself would this be acceptable behavior in your country?


You should have asked her to "just pretend it was real for the paper."


and people disliking vodka is going to do what exactly?

 Good players will still do anything to get in the guild.


They heard about the beaches in Aruba and Jamaica, and then one said, "ooo I wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama"


The cure for all cancer exists.  We are not afforded this, however, for obvious reasons.


my dad's birthday is 9/11. as a brown man, 2001 sucked for cake-buying.

EDIT: TIL people buy their cakes ahead of time... o_O


totally job of the caster to bash a player.. Actually he bashed the fan for showing his appreciation to his favorite streamer.. To me that was really uncalled for.. In front of around 400k ppl..


I almost choked on a skittle you fuck


MY DADDY SAYD DAT IF DA OP HAVE TO ASK DIS KIND OF QUESTON, IT MEAN DAT HE IS A VIRGIN BETA MALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


give em to the kids to use as unbreakable shitty water baloons!


Remember remember the 5th of November


A dead kid pissed off their parents by stealing crack?


dude do you have to talk shit about a girl's appearance. This comment will stay around forever. How will she feel when/if she sees it? How would you feel if someone said it about your family member? Is this what you want your contribution to the world to look like?


>Looking back, it couldn't have been more perfect.

Did you not read evil_steve's post? Elvis. Costume.


WIN TI = MONEY
WIN AT LIFE = by this thread I expect this is his wife?

In total, have money = get bitches.


Stan Lee is the only one who gets to talk to Stan Lee that way.


The US has a valid point that none of you can see because of your thick skulls. Manslaughter only kill one person while supporting the crack business can indirectly kill thousands or millions. Read a book guys.


Ummm lets stick to fist bumping lol


More like NA GM = NA Bronze


*adjusts self in office chair*


injustice AHAHAHAH you are so far gone, do you even realise what you are saying anymore


You will not be writing the lyrics.


Just wondering, as an alleged student, how do you not know the proper use of 'there' vs 'their' and 'your' and you're'. Don't you get marked down for that sort of thing?


Yeah, I made sure not to leave any hint of my presence in her room. I kind of felt like a murderer trying to get rid of any DNA evidence.


Aww :( Everyone who receives a drawing from you is lucky!


MY MOMMY SAYD DAT ONWY DA FAGGIT DWESS UP IN DA COSTUM FOR DA GAY PWIDE PARADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOMMY WAT ID DA APETOL SCIENCE HANHEWD POTAL DEVICE????????????? GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This one made me do a double take, just the right amount of subtle.


Veterans don't deserve anything, they chose to do a job for the pay.  They enabled wars that killed people for no reason.  Wars that destabilized the middle east and made us all less safe.

Veterans are mercenaries who sided with the highest bidder.  Fuck them and fuck you for supporting them.


Apparently the extent if her information was the Palestinians were, in fact, in a plight.


It tastes like Oppression!


The "best" part was when I realized it was the next door over. I slowly walked away from the group and went in, only to see it was a huge bathroom with multiple stalls and urinals.

They all waited until I finished and kept going in one at a time. I created a horrible bathroom misconception.


maybe morally, but that doesn't change the law


>If we really care about saving the world from bad men

We do not


The Japanese did not, quote "Tortute, Rape, and Murder" other nation's citizenry?


I'm a 28 year old woman and I didn't know number 2.

But then my breasts are for decorative purposes only.


It's still Zoo, just a shit Zoo.


Also, ISIS would be happy to put these guys out of business and in the ground, so fighting against ISIS is really in these guy's best self-interest.


like, it's not even an original joke. It's old as fuck.


Flipside? Waitstaff that make it obvious they hate waiting on you.

I will tip the shit out of an attentive waiter or waitress, but if you are rude to me, you don't get shit.


A little kid that doesn't know any better deserves to die of AIDS?


He can call his comedy special Aziz: Uncut.


Your parents never took you to Disney World did they?


If someone asks if you're ticklish, it doesn't matter how you answer. They're going to touch you.


I agree, I feel like I was generalized in as part of the "fellas" when I've never said anything negative here, just love from me.


it wasn't just that he burned them with that line. He paused for fucking 20 seconds to bask in the glory of that line. He fucking paused in the middle of the State of the Union address just to enjoy shutting the naysayers up.

That mutherfucker is smooth. Mad props to Obama.


Excuse me but some people have a GENETIC CONDITION that makes exercise USELESS. I personally exercised everyday for a month and still gained weight


Soooo pasted right now.


Still doesn't make sense.


this kills the penis.


Why bother? This works just as well.


I'm kind of pissed that I didn't get invited to any of the coke and hooker parties that all my fellow CS classmates were apparently having, according to that movie.


Thinking little of others? I'm not comparing myself to anyone on here. I applaud each and every person who has the courage/desire to post! Everyone is beautiful.


If you really want to destroy a country, don't drop bombs on it. Drop middle schoolers. They're far worse.

YOU'RE POOR!

YOU'RE UGLY!

YOU SMELL BAD!

YOU'RE FLAT!

YOU'RE SHORT!

YOUR NOSE IS WEIRD!

YOU'RE A SLUT!

YOU SWEAT TOO MUCH!

They are simply vessels of cruelty in human form.


Fuck u nerd stuck in the basement u fucking good for nothing cunt muthafuckercuntcocksuckerrtt dickkkkk I feel like ripping ur dick and sucking it til Semen stops dripping fucking love that white stuff and bleeding penisyummmm


He can watch his own highlights and be surprised.


Thanks for refuting my arguments so intelligently! [Ad hominen](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ad_hominem) is always the way to go.


No, the masturbating homeless man was the part he considered sexy.


I meant "your" plural as in "everyone".  "Vosotros" not "tu."  Like an ancient warning to anyone who idolizes her.

If ye be seeking the respect of Avril Lavigne, ye be havin a bad time.  Where ye is not specifically mean to a direct person, its meant for everyone.  Everything isnt about you ok.  The world revolves around other things. Not just your ego.  **OK?  GARSH!**


Now tagged as "Ex-Male Stripper Now Counselor"

Have your clients ever been your *clients*?


You bet you got a fucking great job. Brat.


TL;DR: offered a crack, picked up crack, cracker jokes cracked.


This has seriously been on the front page like every day for the past week. Stop asking this fucking question and get back to the hate.


Oh yes, I've encountered a lot of children who were being raised in this culture.  Some have grown up to become leaders in the movement, while others have had a change of mind.  One of those children I befriended when she was 15, later got out of the Klan and said of her parents, "Trying to close a mind that has not yet had the chance to be opened, is the worst form of child abuse."


My argument is that their method of conducting business is AGAINST THE LAW.


what a fuckface. He probably caused hundreds of dollars of property damage


The people who come up with these statements have obviously never been a game developer before.


Hey fucker, we ask you the questions here.

How often did you get haircuts?


Top comment underneath it?
Top underneath? [IMPOSIBRU!](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/224/104/impo3_522923.jpg)


One thing I've learned is to never underestimate what one will do for extra credit.


and answering yes or no would be too hard.. lol, some people are so lame


Thanks, I know torture.


If she did that, she must be a really spiteful child... maybe she should've been lynched. Nobody's going to put hot sauce in MY macaroni, damnit.


Jesus Christ, imagine your conjoined twin being dead for several days before you die. Awful.


Hahaha!  You replaced the 'l' with an 'r', because Asians speak english funny.  That was hilarious dude.

It gets funnier every 100 times I see this.


One of Canada's problems is we like to think we do a lot of things better then the US, when really we're basically in the same boat as they are a lot of the time.


Not true, i'm someone who does his own research and comes to his own conclusions.

Fwiw, I also support BDS.


"Cause one of you thought it would be a good idea, to pull down your pants, mm'kay, and hover your buttcheeks over the urinal, and squeeze out a chocolate hot dog, mm'kay."


That added nothing. You could have not wasted time and just said yes/no. Thanks I guess


I don't get it, i thought feminists don't change anything.


Wow, haven't seen a Bears fan crying since yesterday. Thanks for keeping the tradition alive.


yea...that is exactly what he just said


The guy said he doesn't fear anyone, but he probably isn't a fan of having to guard Durant. Durant's unstoppable on offense and can make LeBron look like LeScrub even with DPOY defense on him.


Yeah, it is suprising how long it has been since Star Wars came out.  It is a shame that they only made 3 movies.


I'm just tired of "hardcore gaymers" like "GAMEFREAK" thinking they know jackshit about balance.


Living in the South, I have in fact never physically touched nor even seen an ice scraper.  I mean I know what they look like from tv but that is the extent of my scraper knowledge.


lol MRM shows ounce of sympathy for women and is instantly shot down, this place never fails to disappoint.


Feb 10 2012. The day all of Reddit discovered they had pinworms.

Never forget.


:O I think I speak for everyone when i say this :

STREAM MORE <3


I didn't expect this to go anywhere like most of my submissions so we'll see.


"Openly Hitler" shall be the greatest metal album of all time.


reddit is full of socialist libtards.


Specifically how many masturbated while thinking about me.

edit: I wonder if i could increase the number by posting a picture here >.>
edit 2: ah what the hell, just cause

fair warning: I'm a dude :p

clubbing: http://i.imgur.com/fAmvn.jpg

more formal: http://i.imgur.com/923Nl.jpg


oh boy a regurgitation of an ancient internet meme. you are surely on track to reddit superstardom.


At least she said good point instead if continuing


I used to know the value in long term management rather than a cure, then I took an arrow too the knee!


... dipped in Trump's mouth for charity


Came here to post this exact comment, saw it was already posted, UPVOTE!


The word 'fresh' should be reserved for food


Dumass doesnt ne  u ediots no  a loud is 2  differnt words not 1 [use spase-bar] <comun mis-take tho its ok bro> ;)
Pese-
justin #24


This comment is littered with typos. I have no idea what you are even saying! If you want to contribute to the Reddit community, youre going to have to use correct grammar. And if you dont believe me, read the reddiquette.


Personally, I like http://www.silentgarfield.com/

It's a much more realistic look at a lonely man talking to his cat.  If you take the fact that Garfield's dialogue is all in thought bubbles at face value, it's practically canon.


says the poopy butt face


That would be the worst sailing team ever.  They'd crash at least 4 or 5 times a day.


Oh good, I'm not the only one thinking of OK GO XD!


100% of people who read this comment will die.


Please go to digg where I don't have to see you. Plenty of religious idiots there. You'll fit right in.


I'm a guy and I just googled 'shower and a grower'.

Mind blown, I did not this existed.


Jump plus uair.

I kill with that shit as falcon.


A car with a kids seat, and mommy and daddys seat.


"I'm big plate." It's a sex thing.

edit: holy shit people I was just kidding.


That much burn and the entire building might blaze aflame.


wow, this is breaking news!


Enjoy your unemployment.


>  It's not even that fun to watch anymore.

And yet, that doesn't prevent your mods from making posts like this to stir up more trouble, does it?


Pockets, fine. But belly buttons? Dafuq?


Duuuuude, nsfw, duuuuuude.


I like altering this joke to "what's better than winning a silver medal at the special olympics?" it makes people assume winning a gold and gives the punchline a little extra oomph


I really do not agree.


They do! And they think it's awesome. When it first started, I had to tell my parents multiple times not to read the comments on Youtube, though.

You know you've made it on the internet when you have to explain what "fap" means to your parents.

...and when you have to Google it yourself.


yep, gonna say that too


TIL that everyone working on Toy Story were high on Sharpies


funny thing is I am seeing how many votes I can get between PICS and NSFW subreddit. Under PICS subreddit my alias is SoulDrinker


She can expect more little pricks than flu season at CVS.


You must be really fun at parties.

Edit: Bahah - wow. Don't you dare make fun of a IASIP reference. Neckbeards.


I sneezed this afternoon, so we're probably good.
For now...


I used to get some karma, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Really?  After the introductory elevator puts you staring up at the corpse of a hanged person, *that* was too morbid?


Can this reaction gif fad just fucking die already?


Going off this, acting like you're the coolest kid around is extremely annoying. **No One** cares about how much you drank last night. If it's that impressive people will brag for you.


I'll take you with me in the time machine! :)


I'm coming out with a new drink called Placebo. All of the bottles will be labelled the same, but 50% of the bottles will contain alcohol and 50% won't. Guaranteed to get you drunk more than 50% of the time!


Wait so the gov't can't decide what is/isn't a safe home for children in their care? This is within bounds of what a gov't can do. In fact it's exactly what they should be doing. Disagree with the law, but don't treat this as gov't intrusion.


You ate a tuna sandwhich 30 minutes before running?

Bro do you even lift?


"This headline proves Russians are evil and that Putin hates cats."

-average reader of this sub


If a black person ever called me "nigga" i would shit smarties. That's something to tell the grandkids.


> As a Cowboys fan

Oh, do shut up. At least Seattle's 12th man wasn't a troupe of the zebras on the field.

Edit: Fuck the Cowpiles


But your honor I don't see how....


unless you're at work, then he's a dick..


Seriously, Google made the right call. OP needs to just shut his fucking mouth, nobody owes you anything. Another AMA about this guy's life? Reddit, who the fuck cares?


Why does it remind you of that? Kind of a strange connection if you ask me...


AHGAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA


Cry me a river, you whiny, entitled, little shit.

Get a job. Plenty of people work through their college years.


I was the guy who sent the bacon pizza. [Proof.](http://imgur.com/dunO2) [Proof 2.](http://i.imgur.com/ZRfWw.png)

Glad you guys appreciated it. It was partially because with this situation I figured you guys could use it and partially because I had meant to do something nice for you guys to thank you for partnering with the FSF but never got around to it.


Stop bragging you fucking asshole


Same goes for the clit.


Who died and made you downvote king?


Dropping knowledge like bombs up in this thread


Economists are the ones piloting society into a global economic meltdown.

You'll forgive me for not wanting to give them a chance to expand the scope of that.


No way that its a nuclear blast, the flash is to small and fast.


Enjoy cheering for a group of cheating fucks. :D


Daughter hacks, father proud.


If you're American, don't start with that shit. The top 2% highest earners in the US contribute to 98% of all income tax revenues. 98%.


You helped him look for his imaginary dog? That's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard.


STOP CALLING YOURSELVES BARISTAS YOU WORK AT A FUCKIN COFFEE JOINT AGHHHHHHHHHH


And that, kids, is how I met your mother.


inappropriate

to clarify, you should not give out parenting advice to strangers when they make it clear that they've made up their minds

Edit: The haranguing advice has more upvotes than the post from the parent?  WTF


The scariest part is the guy had the knowledge to enter the club at the same time, so if anyone saw him leading OP out, the witness would likely think they are together. You are very lucky. This guy is not just a creep... he's a pro at it. Contact the club asap, and if they don't help, go public. Shout it from the rooftops. You just might save many girls from being future victims.


Yeah, you're right. I don't smoke trees anymore because of my job, so I can't really hotbox it, and gross cigarette smoke wasn't showing up in the picture. Tried my best. Everything but the smoke is real.


Well you knew the product and were wearing it yourself. You clearly showed interest in the company.
Sincere or not, they shall never know.


Threw my shit at this.


I said this to my girlfriend, and she was a total bitch about it, she was all "I'm 6 and three quarters, you know that!"


Promiscuity is a mark of a morally corrupt society. The spreading of disease isn't something to be proud of. Whats happened is that you feebs have been programmed to accept less from other people than previous generations, so you think such actions are tolerable, when all they really do is destroy a society in the long run.

Rome was as morally bankrupt before it fell too.


Just hate bigots.  The poster of that tweet is one.


It kinda does, but okay.


I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure that guy was a Snorlax.


Nostalgia for carbonated sugar syrup beverage. 'Muricah!


Recently had to replace a ceiling fan, the contractor was horrified to see what was going on above it. I could tell he really didn't want to have to put a new one up there, but was also scared to tell me that. I was perfectly happy to just install a simple dome light instead. I will take not burning my house down over a fancy fan any day.


No, she had it right. She was too big to be wearing that short dress, and she knows it.


And we are all together!

See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly!


Just sometimes stupid people get me worked up


I volunteer as tribute


the old reddit swith a roo.


"Mhm. Mhm. Mmm. Tie is too long. Pen is nonstandard. Pants 2 inches short. Overall appearance is clearly of an inspector. Not good. Clients shouldn't recognize an inspector until the inspection is done."


Stupidity for karma! I'll take it!


For the longest time I thought it was "get laid"...


Knowing that doesn't help me much.   Seriously,  this stuff is just...yuck.


Here is the link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvP01RcxJs8


Oh come on, I know as much as anybody that this fellow is more than likely just some intern, but all I'm trying to do here is rationalise the situation.
Well f*ck, that taught me never to have a decent and sensible conversation with a biodrone.


It's brutal. I also used to lurk there just to see other views. Now, all I see is that Zionest Jews are the reason for 9/11... The fuck?


THEIR PEOPLE OPENLY ARE RACIST! They always have attacked Muslims and the country tries super hard to keep Muslims from practicing. Screw France.


Now if you can just find a clinic with an All the Lipitor You Can Take special you're in business.


> because I am in good mental health.

You own a gun, so you just rendered that statement invalid.  Be sure to post when your kid find the gun one day, and you have to buy a pine box.


Is your girlfriend a Jenny or a Carly?


There is no way that someone could spraypaint something with that level of accuracy.

Unless they used a mask of that shape, of course.


He sure does love his name.


I hope you know it is not the real iBP


Get the right lawyer and you could convince a Jury that the cop encouraged a straight A high school student to buy drugs by using peer pressure.


no, but you are kind of dramatic.

edit: he thinks he's out of touch with modern society because he agrees with something that the majority of modern society agrees with, and I'm the asshole?


you are one boring cunt.


team manager? for a game that is pretty much 1v1?


Mormon living in not SLC.  Can confirm that I alternate between a real mensch and world class jerk.  No in between.


I mean you can't deny it it *is* your alt, your age comes up if you just google your reddit handle its literally the first thing that pops up and your alt admits to your age. You both talk the same too. Its you. So stop manipulating people.  You are literally the one creating this drama.


hey she wasn't a rocket scientician


No, just no. Is it women who opress others? Is it women who cast their shadow over people's lives, telling them what is right and what is wrong? Honestly, you should look around and see who are the "evil creatures"

EDIT: Look at how downvoted my comment was. This only shows that as usual, men are the absolute majority on the Internet.


It was just set up :)


I really enjoyed the fact that all of my comments dipped into the negative only *after* this thread was posted to /r/SubredditDrama.

But no, no voting shenanigans of any kind are happening here! :)


Came for shitty film rants,
Stayed for pizza man sex story.


He got famous for tweeting a lot, yup, that's right, for using a social media site. And whenever he does get chirped by someone, he comesback with an insult by making fun of their twitter picture, which I find, to be the lowest form of a comeback.

Oh and I thought I found him funny at first, but then realized that his sense of humour is no better than an average person.


Yes, definitely think about your grandmother getting plowed because that'll relax you completely.


This.

EDIT: Someone's panties are in a knot.


This makes me think of Arrested Development when Gob was briefly "in charge" of the company and kept trying to fire people. Also, knocking lots of holes in the wall.


It's slow, glitchy and buggy. Chromes the fastest on a PC, not a Mac.


Absolutely. I should never be trusted with even the slightest bit of power.


I used to be a cop you idiot, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


I should have read the package, it literally says "ultimate-extreme".


OH I finally fucking get it. You'd rather spend the very little money you make doing drugs than being a normal human being


It's a blessing and a curse.


>**I really hate** the thing **that** the **little black guy** there says...

Wow...You're a racist and hate midgets...YOU ASSHOLE!

Edit:Oh you guys...This is my most hated comment...I FEEL THE LOVE!


"If I were to guess I would say he has an underground chinchilla farm."


So, the New York Times reporters shouldn't be considered reporters?


WHY WOULD  YOU TELL US THAT STORY


Your girlfriend eats a lot of food huh?


The one exception to this was, unexpectedly, George of the Jungle II. At the very start, the narrator expresses confusion about who the guy in a loincloth is, and the actor snaps, "Me new George. Studio too cheap to pay Brendan Fraser."

Of course the rest of the movie was crap. But the fact that the lead actor was replaced did not contribute to that crap.


Look at this guy! He's all old and shit! Haha, fag.


http://imgur.com/QYRtE

I'm not sure if this is what you meant or not... but it was fun to draw!


Lol it's funny cause you're too old and you should give up on such things. Hot women want young, 18-22 year olds. =) Sorry, but your time has come and gone with women. Enjoy your slow aging and death.


I found these easy to upvote using the AJ method.


I never said they were. I said with that kind of thinking they are going to bury themselves. Like how they don't want people like Ricochet and ACH. It's all from their fucked way of thinking about things.


Because when you're done with your flamethrower, you have a bunch of melted water sitting on your driveway and it's below freezing out.


How did he take advantage?  Please, be specific.  Was it legal?  Illegal?  If immoral, please tell me how you arrived at that.


Pot is a method of musical time travel.


Yeah so I can mastu....I mean do a science experiment!

Lol!


Trying my best to, but its nearly 4am where I am so need to sleep soon


Sooo...did you fuck the pillow?


I like my women the way I like my chocolate. Dark, and with nuts.


Cute. Say that to my face fucker not online and see what happens


Wait Tom cruise is still in the closet?


and I as well http://imgur.com/XhEnh


> and to this day don't really care

I hope it's because you are a TV and thus incapable of intervening...


Exactly! He can leave the room!


Exactly. She has the right to be annoyed, he has the right to ignore her and do it anyway, she has a right to say that she deserves better and leave him. Everyone has the right to feel/say what they want, you just don't have the right to expect them to change for you.


Getting a cosmetic surgical procedure at a seedy hotel is the textbook definition of "asking for it."  If she didn't deserve what she asked for, then just what did she deserve?

Personally, I hope that getting these sketchy injections is a "thing" and that many more are carried out.  Harlem, Detroit, Compton, Ferguson--silicone asses for all!


I watched a thing earlier on a Bassist, but it made me think.  The musicians who tour but aren't "known" prolly have it the best in a way.  You still get the tour as a musician, play to huge crowds, and prolly get a decent paycheck.  But the kicker is when you get home, you have your cash, but you can places and not be bothered.  Just a thought.


But at what cost!? ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)


Doesn't that just mean she wants to get wasted?


thats disgusting. know one wants to hear about your butch girlfriend.


He stopped some scofflaw scammers in their quest to take his pay from he.


yeah America didn't used to be so corrupt. Now we're like the Phillipines.

What the fuck has Obama done to our country? It's all downhill from here folks!


Must mean serious business if he's bringing out the Toystory quotes.


Fuck off with your /b/ nonsense.


I want people to worry about losing their job over things like this.

*Edit: I mean I want them to worry about that BEFORE they do something like this... so they don't do it.


the whole metaphor sucks.  greedy politicians aren't elephants, and libertarians aren't characters from "alice in wonderland," and there is no tree involved, unless it's a "crouching tiger hidden dragon" type of scenario, in which case the libertarians win every fight, because elephants and donkeys just can't have martial arts combat in trees.

</discussion>


Nah the girl version of that is pretty much the same as the guys. It can get really scratchy downstairs, especially when I'm on my period and I'm wearing a pad.


She's 16 and I'm like fine wine.


Needless to say, uncomfortable.
EDIT: so thats how you reddit, my best comment


Why did he have to fuck with the ending!!!

You people probably thought the hobbit was good.


> Told me not to use made-up words in a meeting or I'd be written up.

There is only one correct response. "Go for it."

Then bring a dictionary to the HR meeting, along with a copy of your HR policy; this way you can point out that you weren't making up words, but *even if you were*, it's a bullshit reason for a write-up.


Still, what is wrong with flirting, even if it is not in a very slick way? I don't know, it just did not seem like a very dangerous situation to me. It seems like women take bad flirting wrong, often. Would you still feel that way if it had happened today?


JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD

edit: [This](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2tbexp/your_ex_is_on_reddit_and_you_know_will_read_this/cnxidne) is what I was worried about. I'm not saying that I'm above everyone, but it hurts my heart when I'm associated with being a new fan of the show. I think it's great that a lot more people get Friends references now, because, you know, karma.


except that EXACT OPPOSITE. it sounds really femme


Right, it takes at least two.


I'll take 2 of those please.


http://i.imgur.com/z2rti.png
The only sad troll doll. As per usje..


News at 7. Did OP deliver a box wearing a tuxedo and get married? or is the internet being trolled by a /r/summerfag &&&&, /r/opisafag


You don't understand, if you die in Canada YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE!


It's not a surprise that the male character has a weapon of mass destruction. I mean males are clearly peaceful and would never kill or harm /s


At least she wasn't a KGBYN.


He is a shit actor that should be flipping burgers in Mcdonalds.


Don't avoid the question, Mr. Hanks.


how do you not know instagram.......


And good luck getting good shifts after you do. Employers just loooove servers who sue them!


Yes, murder is a perfectly reasonable response to being called out for being a filthy homeless person.


Here's one for you: When I proposed to my wife I handed her the ring and said, "here, try this on."


The problem is that it is a complete waste of everyone's time.


I'm gonna sell skins to children and fly to North Korea


Wow OP, everyone is attractive in their own ways, you scum!


"You know what, this is too stressful, I'm taking the day off."


Include home addresses so we can lynch these money grubbing pieces of garbage.


He handled that classier than I would have at 16. (I'd have marked them all with an F)


F A P C E P T I O N


I guess we were Scumbag Steve all along.


Probably the same reason you're commenting to the guy making a whirlwind of snarky replies about a marginally uncommon sexual practice.

Boredom.


**Slaps knife down on the counter* "Good, so then kill her and let's grab dinner."


For those who haven't heard already... Sean "Day9" Plott passed away. He was in a car accident. Hit by a drunk driver. RIP. I think the thing I'll miss most about him is his laugh.


You go to the grocery store and buy a milk gallon and dump it out and then write PCP on the side!


Dude, ask someone with an iphone to try it out! Tried it the other day and had to screenshoot it.


And all the laughs in this thread suddenly were silenced.


"Be there for her," if you know what I mean.


I'd say Sal's voice is pretty much identical to James Franco's regular voice.


Upvoted. It's the least I could do.


Thank you for your prompt response. Your opinion has been noted, and will be entered with the rest.


Well considering that China is the largest country on the planet...you are only 1/2 right at best.


The announcer at the stadium must have said that the first person to show Portsmouth's recent history via line graph wins a million quid.


Haha no, no it doesn't faggot.


Religion. Not even once.


Too bad I live out in the country and fuck my chickens. You would never witness the act.


Did you really think he was dead?  Do people really think that when a KO happens?  Like what??


Let's agree on both being pretty bad. It's not a race.


dude trolling CES wasn't that big of a deal

they literally turned off tvs

> in general is just a sign of why blogging isn't taken as seriously as it should be

ahahahaha


I CANT HANDLE YOUR BRAVERY


Have fun watching this post slowly sink and never make the front page.  In the meantime, I will speed up the process with a downvote XD


*"hide child comments"*


Let me guess ... you are African American?

I've never seen so many black people posting in a thread on reddit before ...


Should've wiped her ass with the bread, and asked if it was brown enough.


Really though? Cuz it seems like they just shoehorned her in to say they have a transgender character. It's dumb


Everyone has a buddy called Tom and he's always a piece of shit.


I'm more inclined to using rtorrent.

EDIT: 50 downvotes fo bringing up rtorrent? There is no god. =P


someone else. They accredited the lab but my name was never mentioned. Logically.


I troll dozens of subreddits, thank you!


Does your yogurt have a gelatinous consistency?


The reactionary behavior does qualify it as that.


You get an upvote! And you get an upvote! And if you look under your chair, EVERYONE GETS UPVOTES


LmAo KeEp TeLlIiiiiiiiiiiiNg BuLlShiiiiiiiiT.... WheREs YoUr PrOoF N4p ?!?!?


In response to that, never take how others treat you too seriously. If they're going that far out of their way to make you miserable, they're obviously very unhappy with life and you shouldn't let that disrupt your good nature. I can't stand to see a happy person upset/hurt because another unhappy person made them that way.


Nothing spoiler-y about that at all.  And speculation tags are just silly. Fuck, if you hadn't felt the need to chastise me, people who don't know anything wouldn't even take it into memory.


Yeah, they sit next to the bed and hold your alarm clock, you don't marry them.


I agree, that show was kind of generic. I actually find the Kardashians more entertaining than Arrested Development.


Thank you.

-the guy who created this comic.


How so? It's really no concern to them with how little they have to give up for some cheap PR.


>thanks spider


Upvote for thunder flair and for saying what I was thinking.


hey THANKS. The gods shined kindly upon me because they used to look like this: http://i.imgur.com/HxeH0.jpg


I'll over hand your butt, and only yours.


>Texas isn't just a bunch of gun-toting, xenophobic, ultra-religious republicans.

True, I knew a gun-toting friendly gay atheist there.

Gays in Texas? Why yes, Dallas is one of the gayest cities in the country.

>Austin is in Texas too you know.

Austin isn't in Texas. There's a static warp field from San Francisco to an otherwise empty area of the state.


let me guess, you're a fat ugly girl?


Had the opposite experience, every RA I had was completely indifferent to drinking, parties, general shenanigans as long as we weren't bothering others.


Really? The mods are gonna bash r/lgbt now too, w/ mod flair on no less?

The continued instigation of this old drama strikes me as woefully immature and counter-productive to the goals of this subreddit. Some are even using it as justification to verbally assault the r/lgbt mods when they post here and no one seems to care in the slightest.

/disappointed


http://i.imgur.com/meesb.gif

I walked into that so hard I don't even know what to say.


Same comment I get down votes you get up votes this is some political bullshit.


I had sex in the tubes.  With chicks.  Not sure what else to say. We would close the place down and party.  Drunk teenagers would go in the tubes, then start making out, and eventually, the whole structure would be rocking.  It was nice because it's closed off in there.  But moans and whatnot are amplified. :/


I don't think so. What bachelordad didn't tell you was that he adopted his son so he can molest him everyday before he turned 4.


Or her standards are as bad as her pick up lines.


I think **le** title should read, "Reposting celebrities into all your holiday party photos."


Ironic, seeing as Mr. Fishburne's daughter fucks people for a living now.


CRTs are better for gaming

* Viewing angle

* Response time

* Has no problem with video of any kind, standard or high definition, LCD has issues with standard definition.

* Can display a true black, LCD is dark gray


So, when are you going to have kids?

I started getting that before the wedding.


Except that there are a lot more English speakers in the US than in England


This.

Really, the only way this shit ends is when we disband the TSA. Perhaps Congress should also apologize to the world for having created it.


I'm not surprised you responded with an equally overused term.


Breaking character to comment on how OP is a dipshit and deserves to lose his account key. Its careless dumbshits like OP that are ruining this country. He needs to be taught a lesson and not have everyone clean up his mess for him.


Apart from that, Ms. Lincoln, how was the show?


Please don't send the thread in this direction, I'm just about OK with poop and pee.

Edit: oh dear reddit, classic case of agreeing with the downvotes before reading a post in an unbiased fashion.  It's clearly a tongue-in-cheek comment, which is agreeing with the OP that periods are the worst thing ever.  Obviously I'm more than comfortable with poop and pee, it's the internet.

u r dum


Psht, I did that all the time back when I was a kid


still more free than anywhere else.


Employment qualification:

Vasectomy or tubal ligation preferred, but not required.

Edit: Holy crap. I've rarely had a comment reach more than 500, let alone almost 1,000. I'd like to thank everyone for this. I feel so validated.


lol thats what u get for doing iron man XD


You think it legal to be naked in TX?


Oh god too much cancer. You died to Belial, you werent lvl 60 and its not "well spent" when you didnt even complete it.


Hey, who's this?
"My ex husband"
... Cool, so. Bedroom upstairs?


To be fair, most good surgical techs know the procedures they assist on a hell of a lot better than most med students.


So...she discovered she likes sucking dick immediately after her Bachelorette party?  That's...some timing


Well with instagram and bad lighting, I can't even tell what kind of controller it is.


Besides me, *no one* is banned from her vagina.

Everyone's invited, and it's BYOB.


I think pretty much everyone has stopped eating Sushi. And it will continue to be that way in the USA - and World Wide - thanks Tepco for dumping radiation into the ocean.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3DLCKEPfik


That moment in the salt mine when you look down and see your arm was cut by a pickaxe, and wince anticipating the salt-burn. But then you realize its not your blood, but the guy's next to you.


That's because you have to spend money to win, unless you already have encyclopedic knowledge about all the cards and can win arena matches.

Edit: Obviously you can win games without paying (otherwise no one will play), but the reality is that you are severely handicapped if you don't buy Naxx / card packs

Double Edit: Ok Blizzard shills, I get the message.


I really need to start reading usernames before a wall of text.


lol, took me 3sek. Now I know why everyone is whining... I honestly don't think it is necessary.


They accidentally smashed one, and then had to do the rest.


Though love may flow betwixt of both

An Englishman, and an American whore

Whilst taken they have, a binding oath

He shall love tea, and she money more


surely you can't be serious


I care. The circlejerk will not be halted by the likes of hou4.


No.  I have more sense than that.  I was an idiot then, but I'm a bit smarter now.

She also has 5 kids with 4 different men, and none of them belong to her 2 ex-husbands, at the ripe old age of 28.


Maybe is because every tranny I've ever seen does nothing but intentionally try to trick people into thinking they are something they aren't. Pulling that big a surprise on someone three months into a relationship is a cruel thing to do.


Pig farmers use reddit? And say 'yo'?


Why cant this white couple help save children orsomething,,theres millions in need of help in many ways and these guys are saving crocs.
 what the fuck is wrong with u westerners ?
 dont you fucking care about ur fellow humans ?

 didnt think so..


I'm trying super hard not to!


i believe that all "crimes" should be handled in-house. i don't think the people of happy valley needed the pennsylvania penal code to figure out what to do about jerry sandusky.


I learned how to be resourceful when I was dirt poor.  That skillset is still with me.  Nowadays, I'm no longer poor but I could not put myself to buying something that I do not need and if I did; I feel like shit.  Some people get a high from shopping, I get that shit feeling when I buy something.


How the fuck is any of this shit okay? It's an aninal. It doesn't know better. It's the owners fault for not taking control of theirnpet. Of course it's irrational to shoot the owner instead, but THEY'RE the ones more at fault than the animal.

I swear, all humans where meant for was to kill.


all I wanted was "Well-rounded".


Because russia doesn't have rampant problems with alcoholism and drug addicts.

Not at all.

Russia great nation. Russia is love, Russia is life.


I dont like the no traps in his question... Whats the point in being human if we cant set traps?


Not really you brainless buttfat. That's basically tldr for 'Whatever powers you get, so will the enemies'. What fun is that? Whats the point of an upgrade if its never an advantage? Hey, I learned to roll, now the enemy rolls too. I cant speak for the majority of you homosexuals on reddit but I personally don't masturbate in front of a mirror to get my kicks.


Fuckin A, man. Nate Phelps, you are a damn good person. If I die half as strong, as courageous, or honorable, I'll die a good man.

Edit: Comma added for the greater good.


This account would be so much better if you said the same thing but used different words.

He's so captivatingly puzzled.


Hungover laziness is crazy.  Some friends and I watched the screensaver of my DVD player for hours.  Kept trying to see if the Apex logo would hit exactly in the corner as it bounced around the screen.


You actually can't get an IUD if you haven't previously had children. She can get a shot though, which lasts about 3 months.


Pretty much nothing. I was in shock and didn't react. By the time I felt the urge to yell and scream it was 2 months later and it was just  healthier to remove any trace of that relationship from my life and start the healing processes.


...really?

Completely...disagree.


read pen then cringed, then saw clit and was so happy it wasn't something like dick hole :s


it only takes a rudimentary knowledge of advanced latin to know that dodecagon means 12 sides.

also, everyone knows that a dodecahedron has 12 sides - you could have worked it out from that.

on a serious note, good answer. thanks


Suddenly the Italian lifestyle seems bad-ass.


heh funny, but really this is a classic example of why charity is better than government stipends.


I highly doubt I would take my 10 year old to a nude beach...maybe that's just me.


Fuck. That is literally word for word that comment I was thinking in my head when I clicked on the comments section.


Before it was shocking. Now it's like "oh, you guys again?"


No, for the most part you don't.  Engineers can and should be forced to disassemble and reassemble and practice routine maintenance on the awful shit they design instead of passing off the hard part of bad design to someone else.  Maybe then we wouldn't have headlights on cheap cars that take 2 hours to change.


Also the things Leslie calls Ann


HEY, EVERYBODY, THIS GUY'S HILARIOUS!


The lack of a question mark makes him seem so clueless.


le scumbag oddone le internet catchphrase lel! u mad xD

Fucking hell.


OH DEAR GOD MY HEART.


I'm 13 and what is this?


They don't call it The Big Lebowski for nothing.


As an (assumedly) mature woman, you made a decision as to whether or not another being would live based on the fact that you were worried what other people would think of you, and you were nervous about social graces? That doesn't make any sense to me. Perhaps I'm missing something?


Other memorable quotes:

>I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.

>Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know — I've been using it for years.

>I'm as pure as the driven slush.

Her last words:
 >Codeine...bourbon...


Oh for fuck sakes, you know what shit head?  Fuck yourself.  I feel terrible because people made me realize what a shit headed thing to say it was, I would have been perfectly happy to go on with my life never thinking about this stupid comment for one second after I made it.

Seriously, though, why don't you go eat a fucking bag of shit you big tough keyboard hero?


Wow, I just found out what Gonewild is! How the fuck do you guys get any work done on this site.. Holy shit.

ThrowawayFlirt will you please do this?  I promise your man will never know..


You Islamofascists are all alike.


> Al Sharptons

lol What...


Your game is still going to die, sorry :(


It was so much fun.  They were in this crappy, sprawling space in the middle of nowhere, and I spent most of my time with Lasster, Stanton, Doctor and the late, very great Joe Ramft, just making jokes, pitching ideas and watching them get sharpie head-aches from sketching.  We all learned so much from that experience.  mostly about sharpies.


Coincides with the rise in esteem of the playmaker and number 10 no doubt.


That is one of my favorite experiences. I remember auditioning again and again and I brought 100 percent everytime. Casting agents where always telling me I was too "big" in terms of my technique. Here, it finally working in my favor. I was OVER THE TOP. It was heaven. Kinda like being in a zone. A fun, crazy futuristic idiotic zone. And I got the part.


Why so sour, pal? You seem to have put yourself in a precarious position and now you're escaping by insulting my personality? Bravo sir, you're what defines the bottom 10% of society.


"OOH Rapey! I'll get my purse!"

Edit: Oh joy, we've been tagged in [SRS](http://www.reddit.com/r/ShitRedditSays/comments/tzxfq/ooh_rapey_ill_get_my_purse_184_yolo_132_more_like/). Nice of them to take the time to dismount from their high horses and judge me.

EditEdit: And then banned for bitching at them. That makes me happy.


i copied a few of these decklists which are quite differnt from the optimal versions of these decks, and i lost each game i played out of 3 games . pretty epic content, here


I don't think OP has any respect for you as a person.


Laundry is super easy to do especially when it's one of your few jobs during the day. Just buy tons of cheap but nice and fitting tshirts and a pair of good jeans and some cute leggings that can be worn out (if you're not fat.) A mini skirt looks good and isn't uncomfortable.  I don't get this attitude of no effort at all when it's so easy.


I guess I can cancel my tetris torrent now.


wow,  OP is combating religious intolerance with violence. good job OP and keep up the good work. also thanks for vocalizing that you want to hit women, esp moms that make you angry.


Ezekiel Elliott is a 99.


Well I'll tell you what most people will say when a woman kills herself - they had issues to begin with.

That's generally how it works. Some people kill others when pushed to their limit.


Even so, you can't offend the puritanical 'Muricans by drinking at a reasonable age.  They'll let you sign your life away to the military at 18 but gods forbid you take a sip of beer at the same age.


I assumed he would, yeah.

And I wish I'd never gotten involved... it's been nothing but a circlejerk fuckfest of egos.


That's hilarious. I love how it got to the point where Charlie thought *okay, somethings wrong here, this guy doesn't recognise me*


So maybe when a woman lies about abuse it's her way of punching a man in the face.

If you read my original comment I said that I wouldn't resort to a lie like that but my mind could be changed depending on the circumstances.


Must be the lowpoint in your two years as a fan. #banter


Aaron Paul in the background looks like he's about to go "This is my own private food court and I will not be harassed... Bitch!"


i live in-between Bath and bristol UK! its an awesome place to be haha


just fyi, it's considered rude to leave comments like this that contribute absolutely nothing to the conversation. next time you don't have anything to say, just send a pm so that other people can get the karma

edit: please stop downvoting. if this comment gets below -5 it will be hidden and people who don't know this rule won't be able to see it.


Good thing he didn't stick around for a month.

If this relationship was in middle school I would have NAILED that.


Browsing reddit with gf, this is the only upboat she ever distributed. Enjoy your day in the sunshine, you lucky dog.


How did I completely miss that


I laughed much harder at this then is probably necessary. Well done.


Mike was such a great character.  I would watch the hell out of a movie about him when he was a police officer.


it's funny as in you 'get' what is funny about it. If we are frank... it wasn't really 'funny' though.


I'm flattered... thank you kindly.


Don't believe someone who's never seen vagina before...lol


Yeah, but she literally asked me to scratch her. And then got pissed when I scratched her. I think I'll see if I can get her to ask me to mace her next time...


no it's shit just like every other gwg. buy ps+ instead.


So [this](http://i.imgur.com/Gh77i.gif)?


You do realize your mother was a bitch for spelling it that way, right?

Edit: come on, never gotten a comment to -100 before. Let's get this bitch all the way down.


It's amazing that people don't think it's an addictive substance or even a drug. It's by far the most *popular* drug, in that far more people consume caffeine (green tea, black tea, coffee, caffeinated sodas, energy drinks) than do nicotine. And most people who do on a regular basis are either in denial about the withdrawal effects or have never stopped long enough to experience them.


Yeah , and i'm Obama ?
Seriously , shut up.


BLACK PEOPLE SURE ARE FASCINATING!


We are talking about L3, there is no L4 idiot.


> without ever seeing a guy jack off

Repressed memories are terrible things.


I hate it when kids try to act like the parents. Especially when girls try to act like the (bitchy) mom.


Horseradish is not an instrument either.


That's not what next gen means though. Next gen literally just means it's the the console made during the 8th gen period. Any home console released after November 18th 2012 is next gen. It's not a measure of power or features or anything.


I will continue to call OP a liar, not because I think he's lying, but because I hate him.


Actually the above is full of shit. The photo is a still taken from a 1950's gay porn entitled "Pacific Rimjob". This shot is touching cause these dudes are about to turn each others brown eyes blue.


that sounds like a fantastic holiday, do they accept humans?


You're an ignorant fool. Keep on living in your own little world, peon.


When I was ten I played frisbee with a dead girl and walked her home AMA.


Revenue? You mean $300 million before ANY expenses.


hidden under his feathers they found a ring. apparently he planned to propose to Pepperberg the next day and he had talked to other researches about how excited he was. he was about to achieve it all but life had other plans for him.


So you're one too. Not a shocker.


If you accuse them of malice, they will feign innocence.

If you accuse them of ignorance, they have less room to backpedal.


which is ironic because girls have the most value in the US now, mostly because of the college selection process and all forms of assistance as well as sex discrimination by teachers at a young age


It's got two meanings. One that the head of penis, being bald, cries after furious ejaculation. Second, Lord Varys is crying because he is bald and a eunuch who can't experience furious ejaculation.


University? You need to put the iPad down and go chase some coos

EDIT: the neckbeards have been insulted!!!!!!


I said, what does que mean? Please just tell me


Cat was sleeping with Mauricio Rua


Get your shit together!


He wasn't leaving, he was refusing to leave.  That's why the cops were screaming at him in the first place.


to be fair he's nothing compared to the migos let alone gucci mane but I get what you're saying


Hello everyone this is my friend, she died of cancer. Can I have karma, please?


Yeah!

And buy a gun


this thread was only created for this comment XD


He doesn't flip-flop- because we have to assume that he actually holds both positions simultaneously.  He's Schrödinger Candidate.  But you can't find his exact policy until after he's elected and open the box.


Missing some punctuation there. Stupid hater.


Not to mention *babies*. :(


twist ending, he died.


Well, have you ever seen Internet at Hogwarts? Didn't think so, now go back to loving technology.


So am I the only one who thinks it is silly to say he is a good guy for 'curing cancer with shitty acting'?  Why not appreciate the researchers doing shit besides saying 'whoa'?


Going off the rails on a karma train


OP, if you lie or break any other rules in RGD, you'll be banned. That was easy. Thanks, greywood! Imma leave your comment up for context (though typically we ask that you message the mods for things like this).


His real fear is having to become a Jets quarterback


Could have searched for it, was mentioned on reddit many times.


...It's not?

...&#3232;\_&#3232;


Why aren't you a mod? You have such *great* logic, fantastic witticisms, and a great grasp of how things work. I'm surprised your public demeanour hasn't overshadowed your exquisite oratory skills whilst not trumping that great balloon over your he- oh wait, that's your ego, telling you that you *must* be right.


When you reach max level, you stop leveling.


That Sort Of Thing Is Tight Butthole. You Are The Loosest Of Buttholes


***THIRD COMING OF CHRIST CONFIRMED!!!***


I used to have a cat that had a triceratops shaped spot on his belly, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


After seeing that [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEtbFm_CjE0&app=desktop) , I've decided I never want to scuba dive, or swim near a pools drain.


Childish gambino ruined Donald glover for me


Freud would have a field day with this


You fucked up for that


>fooring

Glorious Leader, is that you?


i was about to post that before i clicked the comments section but you beat me to it


Much obliged, reddit person.


Are you a vegetarian?


This comes off as horribly conspiracy theorist-like.

That makes it even more sad when you realize it's all true.


Never seen him do it.


I hate to say it but the fact she didnt dump you was the greatest testament to her shit self-esteem. (srsly no offence intended).


lame

Edit: Oh I'm sorry, I guess I was supposed to reply with some reference to being high. I'm so high right now I guess.


HOLY FUCK ITS FORTHEWOLFX


... Those nerds get payed lot's of money to play videogames all day long, why would he be pissed if he lost? Most money comes from stickermoney, contracts and sponsors... Has nothing to do with professionalism kiddo, I as a project manager know what professionalism is, it's not playing videogames all day long, that's for sure.


Haha! Driving drunk... Classic!


Stop with this fucking Jimmies thing. It hasn't been funny for months.


Beauty.

Beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.


>Unless they bring Shuan White vagina

FTFY

Edit: Jokes on you guys, I knew I was gonna get negative karma for this comment, and I made it anyway!

Edit 2: Thanks to the help of Redditors everywhere, I've now set a new negative karma record for a single comment. Couldn't have done it without you guys XOXO


I had a Seiko for about 5 days. I got drunk one night and tried to one-hop a 3-4 foot fence. Landed on my side and cracked the screen. I can't really vouch the durability but after mailing them the broken one, not only did they replace the watch, they upgraded it for no charge. Their customer service is top notch. 10/10, would bang again.


I think you may be incredibly dull given your choice of subreddits.


"The gak is in your pants, isn't it?"

I had to walk out of the office with tears running down my face and my hand covering my mouth.  Someone next door said, "He lost his gradnma recently... I guess he's still upset"


Poor guy. Waited all that time just for that?

EDIT: The fuck? I was empathising with the guy because he seemed disappointed at how long it had taken him to get the helmet.


GOOD GOD WorstAnswerPossible you may have outdone yourself.


I was expecting for "wet dreams"


The panning, zooming, hand gestures, all while conveying its message without dialogue (or le's). IT'S PERFECT.


hahaha, make me shithead. Like you said, it's a forum- I'll discuss my opinion if I want. So sorry if offends your delicate sensibilities. Were you hoping for a circlejerk around your post, or for it to become the mantra of the members of r/nyc?


This is the dumbest idea since Ol Dirty Bastard decided to announce publicly he was still collecting welfare after getting paid for his record deal.


More like a stairway down to hell.


European is a beautiful language.


I came here to point it out too.


> this is reddit, not some fear monger website.

hahahahahahahahaah


This is the kind of shit I came here to read, to the top!


Someone get Freud on the line.


Well, tell those points to get back in the damn kitchen and make me a sammich.

Edit: this was clearly a joke and it seems to have gone over everyone's heads.


.... *kill me now for saying this, but*... pics or it didnt happen.


Your cum-stained X-Box controller begs to differ.


>Water and sand are perfect lubricants!

FTFY

Cosmo Editor


Because killing babies is wrong?


BLB

Name is Kyle

Gets called Carl


Fuck. I just masturbated to an ance ridden slut?


... You've ... you've never gotten a BJ? Dear lord I'm so sorry. *I'm SO SORRY*.


Except this exchange proves that he's not.


Caught in a randsride no escrape from rearity


Really? All I inferred from the title was that it was a rage comic, that was posted on 4chan by someone.


Why must you ruin my life.


Thanks for helping to destroy our country.


Nope.  I was head down getting stuff working.... the server and client were both on my machine at that stage... I wasn't using source code control, so I could nto go back and find the critical commit with the "hmm GET seems to work" comment :-)


And the Rangers are 13-3-5 and the Penguins are 12-4-2. Strange how you leave other East teams with impressive vs. West records out. Not ready to admit that the Red Wings are the beneficiaries of playing in the weakest division in hockey like they were from the late 90s until 2009? That's okay, OG bandwagoner, we can wait.


Geez, Im glad someone explained the rules to these idiots.


thats just to confuse the aids virus thats stalking thier facebooks, so its not sure who to target


Agreed wholeheartedly. Even if she didn't look at it, I would have thought that at least the weight of it would be a clue.


>le HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED THIS!?!?

FTFY :P


Fuck you Mark, I'm still not upgrading to timeline.


I hope one day someone in one of those processions exits the procession and follows you to wherever you are in a hurry to go and then viciously beats the fuck out of you once you arrive and disembark from your vehicle.


Elementary schools are spaced pretty far apart. Lots of walking.


You should know better than that by now. Unless you have something constructive to add to the conversation, I can't say that you're really welcome here.


Damn. That's the American dream right there.


You stole my joke, fag.

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/cw50j/ohhhh_whoooo_lives_in_a_pineapple_under_the_sea/


Better yet just burn down the house.


It doesn't matter.  Your facts come from a tainted source. Any institution that hired nazi war criminals and used the research from their crimes loses huge amounts of credibility.