You should reconsider what kind of women you hang out with. Ideally, "you get to go to the movies with your buddy, then go home and get your dick sucked" is exactly what marriage is like


Fuck you, you absolute fucking nothing. Just because you have noticed someone's mistake does not mean it is appropriate to correct it then and there.


>**Am I the only one** that has sex without a condom?

YES! Before you people came from hatcheries


Anal is disgusting.

The ass is for things going out, not coming in.

Ugh.


Thank you!! This is the worst act of laziness from the props department.


Aahahahaha yeah! Because if there's anything reddit needs a bit *more* of, it's casual racism!


Once in a lifetime opp.  I'm glad he exploited it.


because your mom's vadge was too loose


That kid really enjoys pizza.


Well compared to standing on a corner without a sign, standing on a corner with a sign is hi tech you retarded pile of human shit. Stop being an autist and go outside.


Wait a second, these kids are college-age and have no concept of debt? How dumb ARE college kids?


You're lucky you didn't get fucked up for being such a rude asshole.

edit: DOWNVOTES? REALLY?


Plot twist: Child is actually Batman.


It's called 'free speech'. If you have a problem with that, perhaps you need to be shot.


Praise be to [government](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Fruit_Company), our one true God.

Seriously, some of you need to open your fucking eyes.

Edit: I guess blasphemy towards your deity results in downvotes.


I bet he thinks it's just fancy grapejuice.


I believe that is a manatee.


That onomatopoeia class really paid for itself.


Sorry, I forgot, the average american is averagely larger than most.


The DC area is a bitch to live in.

The San Francisco area is a psychotic whore to live in.


I used to be smooth, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


GODDAMMIT, DAD. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.


You're ignorant or educated on Reddit if you think Japanese immigration is as ridiculously complex as the nightmare that is USCIS. The barriers are mostly language or cultural.


I was trying to get into WRITING and directing! I did not want to act. Crazy huh? A friend invited me to an audition and I got it! a show called BATTLEDOME. Been acting ever since.


Given that the entire point of the subreddit is to expose the fact that awful shit gets upvoted often, why would we secretly downvote? That would defeat the point!


But not the same face proportions/configurations....


Fuck these sluts. They are ugly as fuck. U faggot ass reddit nerds prolly never see hott Gurls so ur gonna jerk off to a blue girl. Get a life and quit being obsessed with video games bc vg's  are for 10 year olds n u guys love video games so that makes all of u faggot nerds pedophile


I don't get this either. I love being male. I actually have real male friends. Every single girl I know has "girl friends...." but they're catty and mean about them constantly and always say "I don't like other girls".

I don't get it.


That may well be, But the fundamental idea of the job is pretty offensive, You're there to rouse penises for 5 seconds before the show begins.


...have me wrap my legs around his waist while he fucks me senseless :P


Ugh, hurting our reputation. Did they look/sound like recent immigrants?


Uh-huh, so that's an average day for you then? You chop your balls off and die? And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick?


Posting shit about 4chan on Reddit makes you a faggot automatically but to get all "don't put the punchline in the title" shit makes you a super Rededit faggot with cum flying out of your Reddit faggot butt. Amirite??

Oh and fuck your karma, Reddit faggots.


Oh and she tells her lawyers/accountants that she wishes to pay the full amount of taxes that she can, none of that loop hole, off shore shit. The system helped her when she was down and now she wants to pay back into it.


Th e Democrats pull the same shit.

Affordable Care Act?

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=66bgpRRSDD4

Remeber that?

How's your extra $2,500 / year?
Edit: either I got hit by a mac truck or Reddit is full of hypocrisy in politics.

Either way it doesn't matter to me.  You can't really hurt my karma.


Dude, she's already pregnant. That's not how twins works.


I could be classy making a lot of money playing a sport too


Yeah, I never got into PSO as much as he did... So now I just have this huge controller that people like to look at but not much else. I guess it's kind of a nifty collectors item.


And for FREE, you can get an education that informs you that the dollar sign goes before the amount!


Andrea Pirlo to Juventus.


It has to be, anything over 400 would be an utterly outrageous because of how many people have asked for 1 DAMN HEL SKIN for such a long period of time, Hi rez has owed us this for a long time.


I watched the divorce episode with Kirk in October. I remember thinking, "I will never let that happen to me!"

Wife left me in November.


You went to the club like that? Say... Did they know who you were, or the fact that it's even a costume, when they were taking pictures?


Thst pilot is a legend.  I read that they got 10 other pilots to try that scenario in a simulator and all 10 of them crashed the plane, with massive loss of sim lives


Yeah, except God (or "g*d" as I like to call him) doesn't actually exist sooo...


>I'm also Canadian.

Yes.  *Completely* unrelated.


LOOOLLL HER PUSSY MUST!!! BE LOOSER THEN!!! YOUR 90 YEAR OLD GRANDMA!!!

 #PUSSYLOOSERTHENAHORSE


"fairly low"

To be fair, that standard is still ludicrously high given what it takes to deliver a functioning robot safely to Mars.


Did you just make up a dialogue between a woman you've never met and an animal?


I'm laughing so hard right now, because this is completely understandable, and yet so stupid.


IM A WHITE HETERO CIS MALE, MY OPINION IS FACT


This could actually work


If he cleaned it up then why post the meme


> but if the plane crashes, I hope you find your glasses in my dresser; I kept them safe for you. I never want my apartment key back from you.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK DUDE

THAT SHIT TORE A TEAR OFF OF ME


I actually don't give a shit about Minecraft, I used to play it, it's an okay game. The video just wasn't funny. Why is it so hard to believe that my opinion of humor is different then yours?


He just thought it was his gainz kicking in.


We're going to have to agree to disagree then. I see nothing wrong with us cuddling together while I'm there, but I'm very understanding of someones need for physical intimacy as I need a lot myself.

It will address the root of the problem which is my discomfort over the situation.


I did try to learn Arabic and I did learn some localised slang, that way I was able to work out which area of Iraq the various captors came from


wtf that makes no sense? do u have a fukin penis or some shit? lmao...


Except Jeff's Muppet, who saunters by very casually at all times and is constantly complaining about his puppet hands hitting the wrong keys on his Blackberry.


I'd like a pizza then, please.


I did too, man.  I'm just using context to guess that 'on a ten' means a break.


Obvious Dark knight reference is obvious


Actually, it turns out it is hotdog.


Of course not, but i think America is the only country (at least in the western world) where it is legitimate enough of an opinion that half of congress is more or less influenced by it? Or is that outdated?

Maybe i'm just an Ignorant dane, but what other countries have a similar situation?


"Every kiss begins with Kay" sends me into a vicious rage.  "The only way to get a girl to put her face on your face is to *buy her expensive sparkly things*!"  Shut the fuck up, Kay, I know you think you're doing a clever play on your name but as a lady it's a fucking insulting sentiment.  Ugh.


Wow, what a badass. Teach me!


I just shot peanut butter out of my penis


Leaders don't lead shit, all they have to do is assign roles...Such a tough job to be leader eh?  Acting like the others are not doing anything and the leader is doing everything.


Man, all those corporations are evil.


I partly disagree.
The women who took the pictures would have done it with the intent that they are for public. So they didn't would not have taken them for him, he may only  keep them for himself.


Yeah, when I had 300 pounds of Rottweiler, never had vandals. Weird, right? Somehow my fat tabby cat doesn't have the same effect.


Y da downvotes?

I make a good point here.

Youse fucks need to handle crtixism better.


no u r faggot. evy1 nos that u is gay. Thumbs up if you think he is fagg


I would rather spend RP than have a twitter account.

Edit: Bitches be salty they can't afford skins.


That's like calling your company Tits and Tits and making bras with spikes in them.


I hate The Onion, I never want to watch a 10 minute video, and I would definitely not read any long forum threads unless the very first post or two catches me.


It also could have been a shitty kid.


MSNBC has no ethics and no integrity, which is mirror of the Democratic party.

Imagine the shit storm if the Issa administration would have released documents naming our friends in Libya. But when it's Barack Obama not a peep from the hypocrites on the left.


"Thanks CO and Paradox for the great game.  We aren't getting any work done anymore due to it.  Here are some cupcakes."

-Riot.


yall are fine haha most majors are, english isnt


Every story of moral vengeance should end with "so I lift up my shirt, pop out my tit, and X went to town"


No, I did, and it said that it logged my visit and IP...


As a Soviet Russian, this picture endorses me.


Last time I checked "everyone else" is not constituted of savage animals who worship a stone-age pedophile and execute homosexuals while marrying children.


That sounds freaking amazing.


Hey guys, he's getting more upvotes than me!


Whatchya doin in my swamp motherlicka?


But in the end it doesn't even matter!


LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON, BABY


You made up a bullshit story and have been spamming a photo of a piece of poultry skin all over reddit.  It is fraudlike and lame.


Yeah, sometimes kid's unfiltered perception is amazing. But sometimes their unfiltered perception of the truth is just sadly accurate.


"They don't shoot anyone if they don't have to."

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhohohohohohphohohphhoyahahahahahahhehehehehehahahahahahahahaha

Have you been living under a rock the past 6 months??


Most *end.*  Failing and graduating are not the same.


I do. I really do. I'm sure you're a nice person, really. But reddit as a whole is mostly shit.


I know right? Insane.


> b-but... someone told me dota was dying '¨¨o,_,o¨¨'

The game is dying, the community just hasn't catched on.

But I'm sure source 2 will make it all better and Valve will suddenly start to care about the game again.


>Disploma

Not so fast there chief


> Science is not atheism.

But science *is* atheistic. Science does not require faith and does not invoke higher powers. By its very definition, it is atheistic.


meme, a joke, they beat to death.


Have to imagine it'd be called AHhh-SHIit! Anal paper.


WARNING: HUMOROUS BUT FAPKILLER


Not true, actually.

They can open them and get some information from them, but the scrolls suffer as a result.

"Can't open without destroying" implies there's no purpose to opening them because they just fall apart without anything being readable, and that's not true.


No no no, it's the other guy being a *bad influence*. Their precious snowflake can't be gay, uh-uh.


My god you sound angry. Raising kids will do that to you.


Ya, revolutionizing online payment options and singlehandedly taking on the American automobile industry are more like hobbies anyways.


Wouldn't one tall person ruin it for everyone? Then everyone would have to wear platforms to compensate.


A majority of that cost will be to purge the magnet coolant and shut the magnet down, I assume. I am a trained operator of a 3T MRI and have been warned of these things time and time again. Liquid helium is not fucking cheap these days.


Why are you making me repeat myself?

>Why is this a mod post? Not everybody in the queer community believes in voting, and an official endorsement such as this disenfranchises those who don't prescribe to it.


Your ex-wife sounds like a fairly nasty person.


The Champions League? Cause they don't need to play Simeone style to win the Ligue 1 that's for sure.

But Simeone hasn't wont the CL either.


How does a group of people stop 100+ people from going to a party? Something doesn't make sense.


Is here where I get teh ez karma?

[](#s "The original comment was cool and funny; the others, unnecessary. Bunch of karma whores.")


"The health insurance policy is my penis."
-- Nathon Fillion


We live in California, nobody here needs "protection" from pot.


Best TL:DR I've ever read.


Too bad "WTF" is not a word.


This is my favorite part. He's using more than money. He's using his problem solving abilities and his influence to make sure that his money has a real impact, and it's working. He will leave the world a far, far better place than he found it. Millions will owe their very lives to him.


Comedians know timing. You clearly don't.  Shut up.

edit: Respect doesn't have to die at the keyboard folks.  This was a shitty thing to post, and fuck you snarky fucks too.


Sounds like something straight out of a 90s movie.


He's killed two men. So he's not that innocent.


shes ded and her dying wish was for him to become bob saget


Who cares. Decent citizens dont' give two seconds of thought to marijuana. It's only potheads who care about this non-issue. Just the fact that he considers it something worthy of the presidential race marks him as a total fruitcake whose only possible proponents are the far left lunatic fringe.


☐ Not rekt
☑ Rekt
☑ Really Rekt
☑ Tyrannosaurus Rekt
☑ Cash4Rekt.com
☑ Grapes of Rekt

I can go on...


Exactly. We DO NOT want them to change. This crusade is not about improving the ethical conduct of any publication. It's about finding ways to punish publications that hurt the feelings of gamers, and this gives us the perfect opening to exploit.


*"No, the Jack wasn't a prop. He just carries it around with him everywhere. I... I think I love him...*"

(swoon)


No one on reddit knows how to use greentext >.>
You sir, are not a faggot, and i approve.


I might be naive but in my head that passed as a polite exchange of,

Him: "Good sir! I see you are attempting to leave the vicinity of the neighborhood and insist you use my vehicle to make your life easier!"

You: "Honored sir! I thank you profusely for your kindness but the public transportation system is nearly here and I care too much about the environment!"

EDIT: to -> too


I don't get the obsession with this guy his videos are shit, he's annoying and yet has millions of viewers...I'm missing something I guess.


they didnt. i found them on craiglist after looking at ways to make money. after that they screened me for 3 weeks and then i started.


I used to think that this is too much of a game changer, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Seriously, this guy must be Batman. So many gadgets


What stereotypes in the photo?  I see more skinny white idiots do this than niggers.


"I before E, except after C, or when sounding like 'A' as in 'neighbor', or 'weigh'. And on *weekends* and *holidays* and all throughout May! And you'll never be right no matter *what* you say!"


So sorry I screencapped this for you guys.

Like, really, I am sorry you are more interested in the size of my monitor than the shit he's really saying.

To be fair though, you are right that it's too damn big.


A damaged ego can overturn logic


Well she is kind of a cock tease


Why does weight matter anyway? I can see you're a fat fuck with my eyes, a number is pretty arbitrary at this point.


Not wanting to give a baby constant attention warrants her never seeing her grandchildren again? So she's entitled to have anyone she wants fawn over her kids or she should cut them off from her life?


It's actually a really sweet deal if you're looking to do a European vacation at the same time as buying your new car. Free airfare and "rental" car, you would just pay for hotels. Plus you can drop it off at a few different locations throughout Europe


ERNDERD, HERS HER GRERS RERLER FERST.


Blah blah blah same overused quote that doesn't meant shit taken out of context over and over again...


Snow isn't too common in Ireland. That being said, that line was fucking hilarious.


She deserved to be shot.


finding that perfect temperature where you're close to boiling yourself


The Internet is so retarted sometimes


All that extra space in her head for activities.


They did not object to the Constitution, they objected to its source - the ACLU. Probably a heavily edited copy with Amendments 2, 5, and 10 removed, with the 1st having everything removed after the first comma.


Correct but irrelevant.


Call me crazy, but I think the subtlety of your point will be missed by the Muslim extremists you refer to.


Don't you mean "I like Gangsta's Paradise a whole lot?" Maybe you're a real fan of Coolio but I'm assuming nearly everyone is like me and knows two of his songs and haven't heard any others at all.


This is how I know Reddit's cyclical....


By "community" you mean the 0.001% of the people that bought the game and managed to grow a neckbeard long enough to actually believe the posts on /r/gaming about blizzard screwing them over for no reason. Even though it was later made clear that there was a pretty good reason for getting screwed over.

Right?


That clown is the kind of thing that you throw away only to wake up the next day to see it back in your house.


You kidding? If my sister decided to get those fucking retarded holes in her ears I'd put a bigass lock in it too.


I think he was waiting for a tip at the end.

"Okay I'm going back to the lobby now...."

"....."

"...."

"..."

*leaves*


HAHA IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S A PLAY ON WORDS THAT'S ALSO A LITERAL PLAY ON WORDS. HAHAHAHAHA

ok i will let myself out, this is the first time I had to downvote myself.


You heard it here, folks. So good you'd let yourself have dick cancer for it.


The person made herself bed ridden.  Do not blame others.  There is no reason why your nursing home is full of terminally obese people rather than just old people.  You are not paid extra for the fat people.


Lol! I was thinking about it. Was also going to re-name him Odin so that when people asked what happened to his eye I could say "he gave up his eye for the wisdom of the ages".


Good to know repeatedly assaulting a child now counts as justice.


It will NEVER be more appropriate


Because the world gave that much fuck.


Yea, that guy's a creep. He doesn't even have dick teeth.


Nah, you're right. I just felt like being a devil's advo*dick*.


The longer the better.


> Nice try, Cracked staff

guuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrllllll


"Did you forget this feeling?"

"I've never had this feeling."


>Damn her for **lying** to help middle class folks with their finances and fighting against **legitimate** corporate business practices!

FTFY


In America every stranger is a pedo, terrorist, drugged out, murdering rapist who also hates YOUR religion and wants to gay marry your straight dog!


There's a difference between text and subtext. Straight guys don't mind hot girl on girl action but an emotional relationship is not for them. The subtext here is that Daenerys has been betrayed by guys who love her and so is turning to seek trust/love in a woman.


I dunno. She could have made out with another dude.


Not really.  Only one kind of person upvotes this kind of thing from "freebeacon.com", and only one kind of person wanders into the comments.

Just look at the top voted comment.  It's an unquestioned chorus of bloodthirst and savoring of vengeance.


You willingly set your genitalia on fire.  What the fuck, man?


Scary? The Hoosiers played a good game tonight, but they're not a scary team by any means. Kentucky, Virginia, Duke, those are scary teams. Indiana is not scary. They can score points, but their defense is just atrocious.


I do this with my three year old and it works a charm. "Rylan, you need to go to the toilet don't you?" While Nodding.

"Yes daddy I go toilet".

He doesn't actually end up going but he agrees to whatever I'm saying.


Just another post where Gen 3 is left behind to wallow in its brilliant sadness.... *le sigh*


wouldn't be the first time the state has fucked me


I never said it wasn't technical or didn't require a large amount of skill.  My entire point is that the Olympics should be about athletic competition.  Are you claiming that the Olympic champion of cross country riding could beat me in a mile race or 5K?  It may require skill but when an average guy like me is more athletic than an Olympic gold medalist, that's a problem.


sounds like he

*puts sunglasses*

had to take a shit


And? What are they going to do, yell at you? Complain to your boss that you helped the customer in front of them?

Grow a pair, smile at their impotent rage, and suggest that next time they tell the customer to hurry up.


I wouldn't be surprised at all. He does not strike me as a genuinely happy person.


I'm butthurt how? We crushed them ... lol


>Girls fall for it because we were told all our lives to find a man who would treat us like a princess. That's the dumbest thing we can tell our daughters. Find a man who treats you like a person. A thinking, feeling person.

I want to put this on billboards.  On T-shirts.  Bumper stickers.  Paint the sides of skyscrapers with this message.  It could have saved me a lot of heartache....


But I am talking to the people who control these subreddits and I'm trying to give the users their messages.

Always shoot the messenger.


my thoughts exactly. if you put your eye next to a glory hole, you're gonna have a bad time.


> If I were willing to spend money, which we've already established beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm not"

Sure, given that the market isn't interested in watching sponsor content, I wouldn't even think about wasting my time. Although, say i wanted to record a live performance that has been requested multiple times, that would be a good investment of my time.


There will be another Jay & Silent Bob flick next year:
JAY & SILENT BOB'S SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE!

As for CLERKS... Well, I'm working on something for Dante and Randal right now, in my spare time...


Didn't happen with Obama, so people must have strong stomachs.


This struck me as absolutely hilarious. I can only imagine a poor 1st grader struggling to down all that turkey, knowing she has to eat all of her lunch. Poor thing!


FALSE! That picture is a **after- before**, instead of before- after. You can see that when you look at the money, he had $315 before the haircut, then after it he got $350! (-:

As a **Reddit Gold User** I am using my power to report the original post for being fake (see submission guidelines) and in the meantime I will **politely** downvote it (-:


Stickied so hard they can't pull it off?

Edit: awesome, thanks for the gild mysterious gold-giver!


I assume you mean *rude* and off topic.

English.  Learn it.  Love it.  **Use it** correctly.


Or sex scenes in movies when your parents are in the movie!


No, 12 people died today to give us freedom to speak and I will respect that.


Looks like you're going to be buying some goats


Parabolas.

Where y=3x^2 -6x+7

A)Express in standard form.

B) Find the y-intercept.

C) Find the range.


Sometimes, when you're asleep, I like to play Chat Roulette with the both of us...


What is happening to the real men these days?


Hey everyone, this guy doesn't know what waste powder is!!!


I...is....yeah why not, pouring in works, have an upvote you bastard ;)


I've tried, but not much rhymes with "circlejerk."

*"reddit's just a great big circlejerk,
a bunch of nerdy virgins doing Urkel work."*

It's garbage.


Fuck your stepdad in his decaying, cum-glazed rimhole.


Wait, you mean June, right?


I think "best value" has to bring at least one championship.


Upvote if you like bestiality.

[EDIT:](http://i.imgur.com/vMmBq.gif) Jesus Christ, reddit. You guys are sick fuckers.


The diamond originated in India. The British confiscated it as recently as 1847. Looting isn't accepted practice today nor has it been for some considerable time so you can be pretty certain that if someone robs it from the British monarch they will not be allowed to keep it. If it's a British citizen they'll for certain be thrown into jail.


You can bring your own wine to a restaurant? Where?


Why? To gain karma? Reported.


Well I am a Veterinarian of 30 years and I would advise you to seal all of  your personal belongings up.  Be sure nothing can get in, move them into your car and burn the house to the ground.  You can never live there again.


AHAHAHAAHAHA THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A FAGGOT!!!


I like the part where he didn't get paralyzed, and then laughed his ass off.


You are a downvoting machine aren't you son.


You win this thread on the basis of good writing, stellar points, and organization.


Ohhhhh OKAY, that makes sense now - I see where they're coming from.

So it isn't that they *hate all women*, just *western women*. It's like a 'I need a doormat but you're being a pillar' sort of situation - e.g. female* privilege.

*edited to reflect many misunderstandings, awaiting shower of downvotes. Needed to wash my hair anyway.


"My brother Al and I are trying to get our consoles back."


EDIT: DOWNVOTES REALLY?

MY POST IS A GLORIOUS RATIONAL LOGICAL GEMGEMGEMGEMGEMGEMGEMGMEGEMGEGMEMGMEGMEMGMEMGMEGMEMGMEGMEMGEMG

**LE GEM**

ALL GLORY BE TO SAGAN PAUL RON DEGRASSE GABEN

LOL WHO DOWNVOTES THIS


I'd play a sims game that had a massacre mode.


MacLaren > Average youtube guy > Dunkey

'nuff said


I wish I had a gay twin for a wingman.


Thank you auto bot, now I will turn my upvote into a downvote.


I, for one, really enjoyed the honesty here. Usually AMA celebrities dance around difficult issues like this.


SRS_Invasion_Bot is doing the *exact* same thing my bots were wrt the rules.


3 strikes policy? What kind of ridiculous institution would base its justice system on......oh


No, nothing at all. Just something extremely offensive and disrespectful.


Still trying to decide whether they're 5 in that first picture or not...


You also broke your dick fucking your mom.


Step one: Create alternate account

Step two: Check main account's comments

Step three: Regret


> Measles outbreak recently??

http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/disney-measles-outbreak-mousetrap-ignorance


> you likely have at least a decade of celibacy to look forward to.

I have good news!  You also have about 7 years of devastatingly-low testosterone to make you not care about the celibacy!


You already payed, they no longer care, they were being overrun with several day waits before launch, now that it's launched it'll be at least a week.


The seal was already broken. But I dont think that it ever saw much play time judging by the condition.


Because misandry don't real.


Its funny because you're being sarcastic!


I don't understand how I'm incorrect there, but I'll take it.


So, the puck was in a pre-existing position which guaranteed that they would deny his claim.


Go back to /r/atheism


Something like that. She's currently 25.


kate it's me! daddy touched me too.. where's my karma :(

also my vagina hurts. it feels like it's been stretched like your imagination and the stupidity of the redditors who are being punked by 4chan while we laugh at your gay asses :)


I can confirm I am over 18 and can legally be shown adult content.


This doesn't make sense.

There are different ethnic groups; identified genetically and geographically, that claim to be "jewish"

So if it wasn't for religion, they'd share NOTHING in common.


This honestly made me feel sick to my stomach, i felt horrible for this poor guy.


Funny;

Political murder, Kremlin - Something's fishy!

Pentagon hit by cruise missile, DC - Nothing to see here, move along....

edit: My downvotes taken into perspective, I now find it hilarious. [Here you go, now go deal with it...](http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/ss/defensemech_3.htm)


I wasn't sure about it at first, but it definitely grew on me.

Sounded like if Sean Connery was Cobra Commander


yes you are. either that, or youre literally homo-sexual, in which case i'll let your stupid comment slide.


Don't worry he was just kidding... figured I would comment because you seamstressed by it.


don't you mean an hero?


Claim its an insult to the prophet Muhammad and you can get the mission removed from the game if you like.


Bazinga.

Edit: Ouch. :C


Just don't add: "... with some fava beans and a nice chianti."


Robingallup was rehosting pics on his site with ads, and when I asked him to use imgur or direct links instead, he used a sneaky URL redirect to make it look like he'd submitted a direct link when it was really a page with ads. He sent me a lot of angry messages after I got mad at him for being deceptive, so I'm not surprised he's taking this as an opportunity to get a pound of flesh back.


"We're gonna make a lot of money together." - Tuco, S01E07

"We're gonna make a lot of money together." - Lydia, S05E08


Good. Dont be such a greedy little bitch

https://www.reddit.com/r/DotA2/comments/2mzu4d/cosmetics_dont_matter/


How about Halo 2? Fucking jackal fucks can burn in fucking hell.


Thanks for not saying I don't own her. :) I am well aware I don't own her. Straight to the point. Good day


Is salty your only defense to facts?

Didn't have to restructure him?So you wouldn't be in favor for restructuring him to offer $2 million more to the 2014 Offensive MVP to keep him? Oh that's right, Darren "2 active games per season" McFadden will magically rush for 1,800 yards.

Not salt, just disbelief in stupidity.


Mexican and black jokes are all the same, once you heard Juan you've heard Jamal.


Oh trust me. They don't sleep through the crying. I understand that you're sleep deprived. I did provide helpful advice. Soundproof. Your. Apartment.


I didn't even feel the urge to double check the username and make sure it was him at any point during it


Even though he reaped karma with it?


She is way too fat before*. FTFY.


2 is already true

everyone knows white men can't jump


That's a buff. He would be immune to Big Game Hunter.


You were thinking the same thing. We all were.


I think English needs more words; "bravery" suggests something different, in my opinion.


Look, I admit, in a few places that might be true.  But how much support for esoteric hardware or high-end games do you need?  I for one haven't had any compatibility problems with my Mac.  It works for me.  I'm *happy* with it.


We praise him for not going legal. We praise him for being cool and endorsing piracy (he has at other times if this isn't proof for you). We praise him for being funny about it (the joke and winky face at the end). And most of all, we praise him for being a generally good guy.


I can respect a guy who tries it before he ~~makes~~ asks his girlfriend to do it.


What is pictured covers the left nipple. He needs some more for the other nipple and he's done1


The low resolution and tiny image size are the best camouflage.


I find community to be one of the most un-funny shows on TV.


Sorry, but your step-dad sounds like an asshole.


Not photoshopped at all and Original Content. :)


I remember that. My teacher stood and sadly shook her head. "it was Daisy's fault," she said.


you know, I can imagine. ;)

shame I cannot find out the magical properties of your lips in person :/


If you don't speak Spanish, they'll slip it in quicker than a ginger gets a sunburn.   You'll never catch it.


move on bitch. not that hard, lol


My kickball field was asphalt.


Even a deaf person could hear that loud ass video.

EDIT: What the fuck is wrong with you retards? It was a fucking joke. I know deaf people cannot hear.


Because he's not a weak little pussy like you.


My very own personal stalker.  Awesome!


I was actually surprised when my brother showed me the dress thing because I hadn't seen it on reddit yet.


Let me get this straight, you took the time to find that gif and post it after first responding to me and now you're trying to tell me you don't care? Oh my. You really *are* an idiot, aren't you?


Well that escalated quickly...


I'll probably get down voted to hell for this, but I'm actually one of the few people I know who thinks that The Lazy Song is really catchy!


I for one welcome our new metric rulers.


Dont be angry kid...need a hug?


Not at all, work is totally different to how people imagine it...its not all great sex....sometimes it can be hard work....girl is having a bad day, opening up for the camera, having sex in awkward places....

I'm lucky i have a partner that trusts me and we have a great sex life at home


You judgemental little shit. You don't know that she isn't using protection. As for not 'knowing them' it hardly makes a huge amount of difference.

Not only that but she's exaggerating on the Internet.

Face it. You are afraid of sex and anyone who isn't as afraid as you is a slut.

Grow up.


That pun feels like it wouldn't have been nearly as successful when said aloud.


A golden retriever ripped my face off was I was about 3 years old. 173 stitches later and plastic surgery I was okay, but I will never ever acknowledge a golden retriever ever again. But I love every other dog still :)


Here is my take, it was pretty hard improving on the original but I think an extreme angle and some color work well in bringing out Biker bishop. [http://i.imgur.com/VSLdB.jpg](http://i.imgur.com/VSLdB.jpg)


lose weight fatty. Your dick isn't inside, your fat is all outside.


an unconfirmed source states that he drowned a bag full of puppies because they didn't have the color he wanted


I just rubbed one out to your pic. Can you post one with some bare feet and vag?


What was so unfavorable about the contract?

On a more personal note, thank you for doing what you have done to further science. You made me start loving it as a child and I have kept my love of it till today. I would not be half the person I am today without your great program to pique my interest.

So again, thank you.


Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!


"You'll shoot yer eye out kid"


hahaha stupid niggers!!!!


Plot twist. OP is the woman in room 209


Philosophy today is just intellectual masturbation. Anything that is worthwhile in philosophy sooner or later becomes hard science.


Aw come on man. Don't be that-- Nevermind.


Let's think about this shall we? Hmm, you *politely* explain to someone that they should act in a certain way or shit might happen. i.e. you might get locked out of your fucking house.

Stupid dumbass slow-learning motherfuckers might not get this.

You add to this, specific instructions on how to *not* get locked out of the house.

If the problem continues, well fuck. They are idiots.


This one time, my dad was teaching us boys to pee standing up. I looked into the toilet mid-stream and he peed on my head.


Am I the only one confused about all of the downvotes to the responses of your comment?

This comment alone will probably get 50+ downvotes in itself just for asking


I felt bad typing it. It's all good.


Oh, hey guys. Sorry I'm late.


Please don't let this discourage you from doing what any responsible, caring human being would do.


Women in Egypt drive and vote. 'we let our women...' shit man, at best women let you believe you're 'letting them.' they seized those rights from men who didn't want them to have them.


The Polish space program is really coming along.


hey look you are starstruck!


This is actually a clever way to pass on immunity to disease.  Well, except for herpes.


Sounded like you were the dude in the scenario


That would be the most badass spirit-quest in the history of spirit-quests


I don't have to work at all. My rich aunt died and gave me a $4 million trust. I got so much #swag in my bank account that I don't have to wear pants ever again! LOL!

**#YOLO!!!!!!!!!!!!**


that *is* random......


How do you figure? Spoilt by what? Have you been spoilt, given that you don't live in Syria?


Damn good advice, and the last one is absolutely something everyone should learn.


Why do you think it's a tutorial? It's more of a regular timelapse.


Thanks for the clarification.


Reddit is all about being a community. Why do people have to get all uppity about posting things in EXACTLY the right subreddit?


And the lord said unto John, "come forth, and you shall receive eternal life." But John came fifth, so he had to eat the biscuit.


Which you can do in other FPS games. Also, that's something the player invented, you can't hold the game accountable as it doesn't recognize or reward quickscoping at all.


Black, then, white are, all I see, in my infancy, red and yellow then came to be... reaching out to me..


As an assassins creed player, requiescat en pace.


I'm surprised the Navy hasn't sued you for destroying their jet with your house.


is your dick twice as long as your attention span?


Well, the first half was true.


damn you kids fuckin suck at this shit


"And that's how i passed my ethics class!"


Stop downvoting this guy... Fuck you reddit downvote me


Lived in Atlanta for some time, I wouldn't mind seeing it at the bottom of the ocean.


That's what you get for buying Nvidia.


"Sorry, I don't know what came over me. Please get back in the car, I won't do it again."


I hate comics. Get a real job.


Isn't one already a lifetime supply though?


Yeah especially because they are probably all ugly white trash people, or some sort of latino who started liking the nba in 2010 because thats when they got there green card. To be fair we got a lot of those latinos as Laker fans too but we love yall.


Especially in Wisconsin.


You called?

Edit: Dear god, what have I done


It should be full moon rising over low clouds and a small town underneath, but now I'm not sure anymore. It does look like the inside of a sleeping bag.


> only one person

A **child** was killed because of this. A young boy. He had a name. A family. Don't turn him into just "one person". If it had been one of the adults I would've said they deserve it. But he was just a kid. He didn't know what was going on.


Nah, not really, we only went on the one date! He was really boring.


Honestly, worth it. Definitely not a TA grading essays, anyway. GA perhaps but I know that's it not the case here.


And forty years later we have tiny incredibly powerful computers in our pockets.


>atleast

*at least


"We're only supposed to card people who look like they're under 30."


oh man it's a good way you found a way to feel superior to those fat fundies who shop at Walmart.

FUCK FOX NEWS MIRITE GUISE


white people get offended by stuff all the fucking time. We invented the god damn thing.

We just dont get offended if someone points out we're white in any way.

HAHA YOU'RE SO WHITE YOU SHINE MORE THAN THE SUN!!!

oh...yeh I should get out more. Thanks for noticing!


Get over yourselves. I said WTF.

Not everything has to be "Wow, how the fuck did that guy's entire arm fit down his throat!?" or "wow I just saw someone die!".

It may be tame, but it's still somewhat WTF material.


My god I've been here for a year or so. Still sitting at 500.


Well at least it wasn't some link to shit outta spacedicks or something right?


>Are you serious? Anyone shoving a person with a huge fucking gun is a god damn idiot.

Uhhh...who cares? that doesn't mean you're allowed to shoot someone.


Got a long what? Don't leave us hanging, OP!


I don't get schools obsessions with "MUST BE IN BY 3 MILISECONDS BEFORE I EAT BREAKFAST ON THE NEXT FULL MOON OR THE LAST 6 MONTHS OR YOU ALL FAIL"
Its completly stupid and doesnt happen in real life.
Ive pushed back due dates for my work this week alone about a dozen times due to other stuff.


Every post is an opportunity to bitch about minorities, women or religious people.


What this thug-erm, gentlemen said.


Well, looking out for your butt hole is a responsible decision for anyone, especially a woman in your line of work. I mean a hooker with a busted asshole is like a crying clown, it just makes me sad.


Downvoted for TotalBiscuit.


Oh salad, you so silly!


Right. Next time I'll be a mature guy and try to fire a poor clerk because she disagreed with my fashion choices, because that is apparently the mature choice on this board!

Do you lunatics ever hear your own arguments?


Instructions unclear dick in roommate.


I only reacted on comments such "Fuck you Serbia", "They are bloody monsters" etc..and I wrote U21 deserve ban.


NSFW

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=151916323

Hope you appreciate it, took a while to find.


Those multiple-edit comments on reddit are so annoying.


If they were serious about their diagramming [it would look like this](http://i.imgur.com/OamUJGC.png).


I think you're kind of a douchebag for thinking it's okay just because it's 66 years old. People experience things at different times.


that sounds sketchy as fuck... were you not concerned?


Wins don't give a shit about hypocrisy. I'm backing my favorite team's coach all the way, no matter what.


Can we just revert the changes and lock?


Please don't be so picky.


Similarly, my mom told me that if I swallowed gum it would block my anus and I'd have to poop out of my mouth.

The mental images that I formed from that still pop up when I chew gum.


I used to use Instagram, then I took an arrow to the knee!


LITERALLY THE WORST PERSON HERE.


I actually just spent the past couple months replaying P:T and it is actually better than I remembered so keep being a fucking idiot as the world needs morans like you to make sure I get my McFatty meal supersized


A perfectly gorgeous 5'10" blonde female with a cute accent to be precise.

Correction: Add to that ballet training and modeling experience. I am sure her shouting match made a good impression.


hol up why is hopsin hated? Don't know a whole lot about him besides that he makes some good music that gets drowned in the fact that he feels the need to call out anyone who's more successful than him... but he's been doing that his whole career and no one seemed to care before. Legitimate question.


It's the weekend, we don't sleep. We do that at work.


I don't hold the opinion that people need to be polite to monsters.


Yeah - even if it *was* a cry-for-help suicide note, what an unforgivably callous reply. I hate that blonde girl so much right now


probably the most over-hyped player in the NFL this year


yes, and then i lift it.  it's your mom.


yeah because people actually give a shit about the champions league


Very very very very much so!!! My favorite is the two girl parites... I love playing with my girl friends too.


Excuse my charisma, vodka with a spritzer
swagger down pat, call my shit Patricia
Young Money militia, and I am the commissioner


I was confused by your first sentence, wherein you clearly state that the therapist had, for years, not enjoyed sex.


Both are bad for the welfare of the people on this planet.  Both make people dependent on the State and helpless to its oppression.


You misunderstood. He is literally an anus.


Probably the fact that they aren't Nigerian and are easilly attracted by african or latin american pussy  (what they don't know is that they just like any pussy, but need to come up with excuses or stereotypes in their heads that justify it)!

Weird priorities and interests... thus why Europe is fucked!


I'm 65-70% sure I saw two guys riding this bike up College a little ways south of 38th street. I'd seen this post earlier so I followed them to see where they stopped. PM me your # and I'll be happy to show you the house.


Back in Black

Edit: Well Shit


    Dad, I'm going to go on a date with my friend Lucy this weekend.

    *Dad shakes his head disapprovingly*

    Becky?

    *Shakes head*

    Sally?

    *Nods approvingly, grins creepily*


Think about it, how does an action like this not burn your house down?


I speak two languages. I have no idea, to be honest with you.

It is what it is.


You still look like a drugged up whore.


We actually had two students who turned in the same 15 page paper to a teacher and got two different grades in return :P


No, seriously. Second girl from the left under the umbrella. Wtf


HI DO YOU WANT TO SUCK THE INTERNET'S COCK?


Most of the oil gets bought by the local kurds and arabs who live near the Syrian border. Did you seriously think that the Turkish State was buying that oil? Gosh, some people here are stupid


I always found that justification to be flimsy. It's like "people have the right to privacy, unless we want to know things about them".


No, I'm tired of people excusing Vietnam war veterans. In my teen years I booed hundreds of war vets on their return to America. They had no right to kill communists. I am a communist to this day, and the same way I feel no pity for dead SS soldiers I feel no pity for those who tried to stop the revolution.


i'm gonna start clapping when i'm the passenger in a car and we pull into a parking space.


Do you know understand the extent to your countrys natio-centrism?


>We have had to stitch up a few rectums

D:


are you trying to imply that feminists go to classes on how to be bitchy and dominant?


I'm really concerned that this is "REALLY important."


So, in other words it's not reliable.. >_> damnit...How would anyone come across this information anyway?


The creepy part is I was browsing gonewild, and I think my bones started trying to escape through my crotch.


unless your a flamboyant homosexual, then wear as much as you like.


She knew you needed a cat, she had to pass the torch as she knew her time was coming.


You can tell Jimmy is a mechanically gifted player, but is not very bright. He can easily outplay any opponent yet at the same time take multiple stupid engagements or blink into trees.


For a site that likes to kid itself into thinking it's into "logic and free-thinking," the users tend to be *really* fucking sexist and racist.


lol muslims. how fucking retarded.


While that dude is an absolute piece of shit, your brother is just as questionable. What brother would further humiliate his sister by informing the parents WITH the video evidence? I would never do something like that to my little sister ever. I'd  feel awful that her trust was betrayed.


Newsflash.  The religion does not require desert wear.  This is not religious discrimination.  Only extremists wear that stuff.


I think the high response in the affirmative is  due to the certainty that the conedemned are definitely guilty.

Most people oppose execution because with the justice system that assurance isn't there.


Oh I'm so hurt :/ You checked out my post history and now I have nothing to show for it.


Its not bias, its widely known.


reap what you sow. Sooners are the masters at negative recruiting other schools like A&M for being "too racist" etc. I heard that straight from RC Slocum so I don't doubt it's true.


"I see what you did there." - Stevie Wonder


I thought Scorpio *was* mang0... Whoops


as a person of color, i find this sick, appaling, wrong and hilarious


Windows has got to be the crappiest OS in the market yet people insist on using it..... thats how.


Too soon bro. Too soon.


Educated Muslim? Sorry bud those two words don't go together.


Pomme de terre si'l vous plait.


*Whom

*problem

*such;


http://imgur.com/XIZpz
better?


If you would even bother to look, Apple isn't the only playing this game. You just think it is because the media covers them a lot more than other companies.

EDIT: Fuck you stupid fanboys that downvote. Seriously, grow the fuck up you fucking nerds. Stop being so insecure.


He seduced my girlfriend


Sgro is a thieving windbag.  Her only interest is to figure out how to steal more taxpayer money


Oh god that was fantastic.


You couldnt pay me to go.


1) don't discuss personal matters at work  2) stop being a virgin.


Don't let facts get in the way of a false rumored cliche.

EDIT: downvotes? What are you, all 12? Oh wait, a lot of you are.


This is fucking amazing... best post yet.


joke? Oh you mean my explanation of the reality of the situation.


An old man I know got robbed this way - by .....gypsies.  Sorry, true story.


That was NOT clear in the title, just FYI. There goes your sympathy upvote.


I think the award for "Most Hilarious Dude on the Left" goes to [this](http://i.imgur.com/FDa98.jpg) guy.


really? really? really?

Morons repeating 'really' is quickly becoming a pet peeve of mine.


Volume of semen ejaculated.


> Israel will not yield to terrorism

Especially when they too commit it.


I need the answer to this question before I go on with my life


I'm not sure why you seem to be playing the part of a stereotypical reddit user so well, neckbeard.  We are trying to help you at least partially rationalize your flawed reasoning at responding further.


Before I received my engagement ring, my (now husband) bought me a Hello Kitty ring. Probably $20, fake pink and white diamonds, but incredibly awesome. I was very happy with it. We called it Commitment Cat.


The source of the comic is clearly stated in the bottom of the picture


J_______ S________ - clearly Jack Sparrow


thats a good one, laugh out loud
That's what you said to dingus


Then it's a Google ✝ account.


Calling a caster great when he has no clue about the shortcuts for graphs and instead uses his mouse to click on them is like calling a pro player great who uses clicks for skills rather than hotkeys :D


Haha it's funny you say that, I have a Swedish friend who I get along with great because we never look at each other xD


Are you pretty? Are you hot? yesterday at the fall festival in my town i saw an 11 year old's ass and it was fine, it was probably because of her dark blue whitish jeans. I go horny for that shit. is that what you did?


This is actually a standard question for a life insurance application (in Australia at least). Only men are asked, and the answer is used to establish the risk of HIV transmission


I too am a teenager and I think nobody really cares about JFK or what it means to the country.


I dont think that's love in the picture, more like humiliation.


Probably not, but I am and I'm going to stay on the ball as long as I am.


Mom, Dad.... I think I caught sports...


so is she on top when you have sex? If so, do you blackout with booze before it and do you ever end up in the emergency room after copulation?


Similar:
>
“If your plan is for one year plant rice. If your plan is for ten years plant trees. If your plan is for one hundred years educate children. ” ― Confucius


What's the purpose of posting an entire mixtape of mediocre songs?

With the amount of shitty songs posted today I thought we were all trolling here so I joined the fun...

PS: IRONMANTOTHEESSENTIALALBUMS 2012

PPS: I FEEL LIKE 2WAR.


*he steps away from the mic to breathe in*


Devin the Dude, Tha Dogg Pound, Brother Ali, Redman, Common and WuTang were all alive and making albums in 2007. So Lil' Wayne couldn't have been "Best Rapper Alive" in 2007.


I was driving home from work one day when I saw a man running down the street buck naked. I asked him why he was jogging nude and he replied "because you got home early".

-Rodney


been going 5 years stoned driving without a crash so far evar, sorry


I am a huge fan of the Dungeons and Dragons episode. "First of all: gay, second of all: stupid"


It was just mediocre as fuck.


But don't just start singing and playing acoustic guitar at a party out of nowhere. Nobody likes a Chad


no one gives a fuck about your dumb dog


Shit, /r/karmaconspiracy just got *real*.


or you might be slightly autistic


> **IANAL**

*huh*.


His child's name is a direction.  It's comical.


People who say "I didn't want to embarrass you." are the ones who are embarrassed. COWARDS.


Exactly, the funny thing is I have no problem confirming my identity and location which I have already done in my post without even being asked because I want to be  upfront,

His original post which was a image that had already done the rounds on twitter was by no means solid and why would one not question it.


I guess he roo'd the day he let you move over.


ur childhud inocence went away wen u fukkd urs elf wit a frozen poo dildo n ur wee wee is a vagna


I guess you can say the end is neigh?


MY DADDDY SAYD ITS OK OP CAWSE YOUR SON IS DA FAGGIT SO HE DON LIK DA GURLS GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


They stopped masturbating.


what's douchier? letting the stupid dog out for shits-n-grins, or volunteering to chase the damn thing down in 'full dress clothes' and then bitching about it?..  i say the second..


Clears your skin and makes hair luxurious, too.


Not the way the Heat did it. Seattle and Minnie both knew well in advance what was happening. Ray and KG, unlike Bosh and he who shall not be named never continually and publicly criticized their teammates. They also stayed with their teams for a long time and were very humble throughout the process.

I also don't remember a huge celebration when KG and Ray went to play with PeePee.


My wife has a blowjob technique as well, it's called the Never Give a Blowjob.


Oh right, I forgot clubs match your taxes.


Actually, from the perspective of the people who were on the dance floor it kind of did.


"Sometimes he demands..." - your kid makes demands? Time to wake up and be a parent, yo.


i hope they are a bit different. i think archer is bit lower register and certainly louder and more assertive. bob is a lot less confident, probably due to hirsuteness


"I get it now. Because of the things people did to women 1000 years ago they can do whatever they want. That is airtight logic right there."

etc.

EDIT: Why so many downvotes?


I'm from Asia and Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, and Sri Lankans are Indians


Of course, author is committing her own little fallacy isn't she? You know, the one about no true Scotsman and all that.

Edit: I smell SRS droppings :p - color me honored!


this needs so many more upvotes
EDIT: I was talking about the gif, not my comment xD thanks for trying -.-
Edit2: Well, that went well. Gee, I wonder if there is a record for lowest comment karma....
Help me out here, guys!!!


Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?


He better enjoy it, 'cause it's the closest he will get to the real thing. If this is how you tryhards act and look like IRL while playing then I am happy with my 2k mmr and my life.


Y-O-U | A-R-E | C-R-A-Z-Y


Stop lying, and take off your clothes now. I'm going to show you what real rape suppose to feel like.


he means are you still sitting in the same spot with that dumb look on your face?


Well, it wouldn't hurt them to take in mind more of what we, players, have to say and suggest.


I think most moms would lead a SWAT team if it meant rescuing their child.


I have confirmed with 98.5% certainty that this comment is spam and is linking to an offensive video which will offend others. It will be downvoted accordingly. Did i get it right?

The purpose of this bot is to help eliminate spammy nonsense and racism from this site, please upvote me so i can continue to do my best for you.


Gloves with hard bottoms but for ye feets!


No, she's just not an asshole.


I heard there were even ... Europeans :O


> Where I'm from these kinds of therapies are illegal. That should tell you enough on how harmful they can be.

So you're saying illegal stuff are illegal because they're harmful? Tell me more about how gay marriage is legal everywhere, please?


I'm picturing The Hulk in the disguises trying to blend in and it fills me with what can only be described as mirth.


Self medicating can be lethal. IMO it should be illegal to use any sort of harmful substance without your doctor's approval.


Like you would be the only person to exist. If it's anyone it's me.


There is nothing wrong with it douche bag. It's a tradition!


Is this because of the Holocaust or because Jews love money?


OP is a fag is most cases - it's only natural to think about these.


I have no idea what my great-grandfather's name is, do you?


Another anvil? Why not zoidberg?


Lift one of your asscheeks clear off the toilet seat and reach under.

Source: female.


>She may be real, but she got raped in US Military

FTFY

beautiful girl though still


Exercise and warm milk, dude.


a slightly underinflated football is easier too throw and catch...the offense brings their own balls...bellicheck is the cheatingest coach in the NFL hes been caught cheating TWICE before.


Yeah but your next move would be nothing but epic, and possibly in slow motion. Thought you were just eating a sandwich? Your Oscar is in the mail, son.


i'm not saying it's rampant but i know it happens. I also know it happens because i thought of it and if i have thought of it laws of probability say someone has already done it. Digg had it's "bury brigades" and reddit has it's "downvote brigades"


IT'S 2015?! HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN ASLEEP?! Obviously, I missed more than 12 hours...


as a lobbyist it is your job to reassemble his resentment!
(touche')


Suicide, self-mutilation, and child torture....but not you, you just want a free book.


What do you THINK the answer is...


Or that in the same year ~250,000 individuals were diagnosed with Organic Food Sales


but if i left reddit then i would not be able to met witty people such as yourself!


Dude, dont listen to these people. If you don't let it come to term, you are a murderer. Pure and simple.

[Dont lance! Give life a chance!](http://i.imgur.com/H9yYR.jpg)  I suppose I should add NSFL...


Really? No. Do tell. The best thing about Rachel Maddow is that she's a lesbian and her defective genes will die with her.


how do people connect this shit?! I didn't even understand the album title fuck


I fucking hate tarantino and this is just perfect.


John was a pretty big asshole himself.


Kingdom Hearts was only fun when I played it for the first time because I was 9 or 10. I were to play it now, especially if it were the first time, I would call it absolute garbage.

Edit: if you still love Kingdom Hearts and you're older than 18 I pity you.


It's like the boos in Mario. Whenever you look at (measure) them, they stop moving (act like particles). When you look away, they chase you (act like waves). When you look at them again, they're somewhere totally different.
And just like boos, sometimes they go through walls. But only when you're not looking.


What are you talking about? That doesn't even make sense.


If you choose to view Tron Legacy as the World's Longest Daft Punk Video instead of as an actual movie it becomes pretty good.

EDIT: To whoever guilded me: you're pretty freakin' awesome. Thanks!

OTHER EDIT: To those of you recommending 5555 and Electroma - I wasn't aware they existed, but I'm definitely going to check them out this weekend!


The other team did not demand it, the other 6 teams who arrived, in person, to this LIVE event did once they heard what was happening. I personally drove 3 hours to get here, and play on the standardized hardware provided. Stop raging because your forum PUG didn't pull a ryze skin.


Turn indicators are for the cars you *don't* see. Keep the faith.

^(edit: It's primarily for cars, but I didn't intend to leave out pedestrians, cyclists, motorcyclists, or anyone else. Indicators are so you can be seen, not the other way around. Avoiding a ticket is a pretty sweet bonus, but the main idea is to avoid injuring or killing someone.)

^(Drive safely!)


Who the fuck wore kickers in Manchester in the 90s ? Maybe some United fans who were 10 years too late.

You need to update your fashion almanac mate, Ben Sherman are making decent mod-influenced stuff. There's probably a few of the more stylish reds wearing it.


"in which... Joseph Gordon Levitt fucks the shit out of them."


Because bikers in traffic have a sense of entitlement, a belief that rules and laws don't apply to them, meaning that you better keep open a middle lane for them so they can pass you unhindered. Apparently the girl in this video didn't pull far enough to the right, which obviously deserves property damage...


A video game player, cause he likes to play video games with me.  And he is a video game player.


Took me a while but I found it [you're welcome](http://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)


I have no idea what any of you are saying but I am oddly turned on

Edit: so my highest comment ever is me wetting my panties over magic... well I guess it could be worse. Now please excuse me while I take a "shower"


The headline appeared in newspapers the day after the match, which was the first game played in the group. As such, there was no way of knowing how it would affect the group. No need to have sand in your vagina because you clearly know nothing about football.


We need to see penetration, and he has to look like he's enjoying it.

We'll need lots of pictures to analyze.


Haha that was my thought when I initially got the first text the night before. Then I woke up to a slew of "penis'".


That was Lord Byron, I believe. Or as he was known to his contemporaries, Lordy Spice.


I know exactly what point you were trying to make, shitbag, and it was worthless. You're trying to pull an argument from authority concerning a perceived discrepancy based on nothing more than different definitions of words.

You're an incompetent and intellectually dishonest troll.


It really did reduce the red eye though.


dramz dezerve commentz


That explains why it's taken them so long.


Those are true facts.  Look them up.


Cougars are a vicious species.


Why are you at liberty to forgive him for what he did to your mother?  Third-party forgiveness is moronic at best.  Has he said anything to you that indicates he is deserving of forgiveness?

If you love your mother you won't stop hating him until she does - you owe her more than him.


Well that's just mean.


I believe that if I were that fire fighter I might actually punch Bush in the nose at that moment.


I bet that got him right hopping mad.


Holy shit, in today's day and age pregnancy is not dangerous for over 99% of women, can we cut that shit out?


they didn't even put the shampoo back in the fridge :/


I hope it is...fuck...wait no...not fuck.


The "kids version" just adds another level of  wtf. Who would read that to their child? Then imagine having to explain  that.


Could be please stop using sir as the default pronoun? There is literally no evidence showing that OP is a guy.


liked THE BOOK THEIF a lot.


As a male, I wish girls would do this to guys :/


Your bear also came back!


Wow some sarcasm gets upvoted and some really does not. This is not sarcasm.


shaking my head.

1000 comment karma plz


Except that I never used this argument.  I was simply answering a question.  It was never "I rode a donkey down the Grrand Canyon and that's why dressage shouldn't be an Olympic sport."

This is a great example of a strawman argument made against me.


"Oh shit! Am *I* alright?!"


\>taking a show meant for little kids this seriously


I feel terrible for laughing so much.


Who said I was bored?


Look at her fucking posting history you fuckwad.


Success Kid, Philosiraptor, and Joseph Ducreaux are all pretty awesome. I feel compelled to be well-versed in meme culture so seeing some of the shitty ones on the Facebook pages all over the place is pretty frustrating.


Your comment is valuable to this thread.


How is it that I've never done this?!


Cry me a river, this is real snow. I'm so sick of Americans thinking everything that happens to them is so crazy. This is not neat or original in any way. Morons.

http://asset.soup.io/asset/1360/6154_bb13.jpeg


See you in a few years, ladies


He didn't say you said he beat the game.


Your mom is a fucking moron.  Sorry to tell you.  You probably wont remember reading this anyway.


People with lazy eyes aren't allowed in heaven.


My routine was: 6am Sailor moon! 6:30, the little mermaid animated series. 7am, Pokemon! 7:30, Reboot, 8am looney tunes for a whole muthaeffin hour, 9am: where in the world is carmen san diego, 9:30: AMERICAN GLADIATORS! 10am: the aforementioned saved by the bell, etc. 11: POWER RANGERS!

Noon: whatever shit movie of the week was on. Usually it was Splash, lol


shut up gay danish faggot


If there's going to be given ultimate power to rule everything, why not Zoidb.. me?


With you being a prostitute, don't you think your opinion is *completely* biased?


Apply cold water to burned area.


To slow down people that think a public road is a racetrack maybe.

*Edit*: motorboatwork -2 points 13 minutes ago

Sorry for providing a possible answer, lol.  Reddit is so silly, filled with children that think imaginary internet points hold any value.


Well, the type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.


> All I got was a computer.

No, sir... Fuck *you.*


That's so weird that you guys have a country were bribes happen to be considered bribes both in a court and a dictionary. Foreigners are crazy


That is disturbing that you think like that. A true human being would show compassion to these sad, lonely businessmen who are just trying to MAKE A PROFIT. Downvoted both you and the OP. :)


Looks more like Robin Hood with Asperger's, but I'll allow it.


I kinda like the word, but it doesn't apply to her anymore... She's fat, and has the most annoying voice in the world.


Hence their neutrality.

[ty tejmuk]


they cancelled it because the people who had issues with the cover were getting death threats.


Cheese in general.

"Hey this milk has gone funny, I wonder what it tastes like.."


I can't even discuss this anymore. I won't change your mind. Grow the fuck up, check your privileges, and just fuck off.


When can I start paying my taxes in upvotes?


~~There really isn't though..~~

Edit: It does exist, but I believe to a lesser extent than the reverse.


Not in the UK now, no


What are those? Do you eat them?


"That's not a Knife. THIS is a Knife!" -Crocodile Dundee


which led to that win over detroit and clinching a playoff spot.. no wait, that's in an alternate world where what you said matters.


Some day when I'm rich I'm going to drive a porch.


let these idiots have their fun that Tebow lost a game...let them have their one moment of happiness cheering because someone failed in their goals, cause end of the day tomorrow they are going to wake up to their same pathetic life and the same problems they have today.


I got the distinct feeling I was reading the transcript from a Monty Python skit.


Two drinks later on an empty stomach she was berating all of the "ugly losers" in the bar.


Ty i took the picture


I don't think that this is a legit hiring process...


If you don't know why why don't you downvote your own comment for a change?


I didn't know my dad had cancer the first time he had it. I don't think my teachers knew though. At least I knew about it the last time. He died this Wednesday.

Edit: Thank you all for your support. It's been a tough couple days, and we're in for some just as tough times ahead, but it helps to have your support.


To your left here, you'll see a classic example of sexism with just a dash of misogyny.  Take your pictures folks, as this breed is going extinct.  Now over here...


I'm just going to assume I misread this..


No one likes narcs...


When I interrupt someone, I try to always stop myself and let them finish their thought first before continuing.


Good job making up for your mistake, but that doesn't erase the mistake to begin with. This should have been in the first post. See that it is next time and you'll come off as less arrogant. At any rate, not meant to be harsh, good on you for checking your assumption.


>"Treat others as you wish to be treated"

I'd want others to correct me if I sound like a moron.

>"Praise in public, criticize in private"

Just as she was trying to embarrass you in front of the class.

Sorry... My 3rd grade teacher was the bane of my existence and I'm still holding a grudge 19 years later.


O.O mind bleach ====> /r/aww


You're reading the confessions of a dude that handed out quartz to his friends to convince them to masturbate with him.


Guys, we found the girl Redditor.


Wow I just realized John Goodman's character in "Oh brother where art thou" who was "the cyclops" also was in the KKK as an "exalted cyclops" my mind is now blown.


Mind removing the ableism so I can reinstate this comment?

[Screenshot](http://i.imgur.com/l4oov.png)


It's cool, just let it happen.


Nope he was just letting the cop know he has

**Edit:**I'll be singing my song all the way down gents keep em' coming.


It's a regional thing.  I was born in Ohio, and you would most definitely get a "You're welcome".

Now I live in Florida, so they will probably just strip naked and eat off your face.


Does no one remember he had the best defense in the league when he won his repeat super bowls?

EDIT:  Ah, so Brady is the best for winning 4 super bowls, but we have to remember that championships are won by teams.  Got it.


Cheap-ass people will find a reason


At least he had rice pickin eyes. Better call the federales on him.

*edit after downvotes* c'mon isn't that at least a little funny? I've got rice picking eyes. I actually have a permit to make fun of Asians.


Schroedinger's Link.

Until the game is played, Link must be assumed to be both bad and good at the same time.


It's how Chuck Norris cooks his bacon, so of course not!


Please don't use "severance" in the context of a penis ever again.


Yeah I'm a "troll", you're just a guy who intentionally goes out of your way to slander over 10% of Americans nationwide.


what in the hairy fuck is a frozen bakery


still too mush cansur? :c


9 of 10 professional nose-goes practitioners approve of this game.

The other one is Mr. President.


Women, this is why we don't believe your "rape" claims. Also, that and "date rape" when it was really just you being a drunken skank.


I don't think you're in a position to talk about hockey.


then say that... why bring religious context into it? after all today is just another sunday in my book. to me it's not about being offended, it's about people claiming a whole day for their religion.


I like that one.  I had a friend, in the same class, who insisted he was the only "African-American," around because he was born in South Africa.


Their job is to uphold the Constitution, not make the country a better place.


If all else fails, it must remember to rub the lotion on it's skin or it will get the hose.


IT GUY STRIKES AGAIN

UPBOATS TO THE LEFT


www.drugs.com- then select pill identifier. You can at least see what it is or if no markings, what it could be before making a decision on how to terrorize her.


Forgive me for not wanting people to look like gutter trash.


Nothing says 'Fuck you, wind' like holding a shotgun.


If you are referring to the Bible, some of the earliest writings were written around 1300 bc, progressing all the way to around 70 ad and perhaps further. You know the entire bible wasn't written in one go right?


King Ramses really wanted that slab.


Dude.. Made me Giggle... "Brought to you by /r/trees"


Maybe after the shot is fired they'll get to know what happened


There are no records of the church moving to have it annulled. You can contact the  Archdiocese of Santiago de Compostela. There is no annulment on record.
:)


I thought I would never make it.


uhh how bout no ..downvoted


My guess is that they used the 5'5 guy as the over the shoulder double in an attempt to make Bane look bigger.


This deserves a thousand up votes xD hahahaha


she could have been obesed by the war.


It's a CSI meme that I did. Based off of [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mznsEcZlM2I).

Also, I still don't know what 'LTUFY' stands for, sorry.


No... keep going *rubbing nipples*


Whatever happened to 'innocent until proven guilty'? That seems to come up an awful lot on this sub. As far as I'm aware the guy hasn't been proven guilty. These people weren't celebrating manslaughter, they were celebrating a landmark case for black people in America.


Not sure if this was done yet, but here.

http://i.imgur.com/rhmjQ.jpg

Edit: A lot of people asked how I did this. I actually used an iOS app called Snapseed. Its the only iOS app that I know of that has a pretty decent list of customization features. I normally use photoshop (levels/curves ftw) but I was on the go on this one.


Poor oppressed men :'(


You're an Englishman who has *never* had a cup of tea? That's easily the most shocking thing in this thread.


It's hard to respect a fat sack of shit like that, cop or not


That my friend, is what we call a next level hicky.


Can you not understand him? Jesus christ man get a fucking grip. You're not a 4th grade grammar teacher.


Spider *forgether*

Edit: First ever gold! Thank you so much!


you're a sad human being


"But mom! Coach says 81 blunts minimum for practice. My scholarship is on the line"


I would disagree. Its a lost art form.


You have been banned from /r/pyongyang.


he had no remaining family dumdum


What they're really saying is the spill was 50,400 gallons but we only want to be fined for 12,600


Yes, because it is crazy to want your money to actually be worth something.


Fuck your place of employment for lying about what you serve, but high five for the retards that don't know the difference.


You missed the much deadlier battles of Stalingrad and Berlin


Are you the guy from pawn stars?


I'm glad there's one good song in that playlist. However, having Katy Perry in the same list as Nirvana is unacceptable.

... then again, Nickelback is right next to NIN (with Nirvana right next to that) on mine, so maybe I shouldn't judge.


Ooh, that's smooth. That's the type of thing you only think to say a week later when it's too late.


>probably the best comment in this entire thread.

probably the worst comment in this entire thread.
*ftfy*

>i gave a bum half my burrito the other day and he was happy as shit.

i gave a **homeless person** half my burrito the other day and he was happy as shit.

**ftfy**


You've killed yourself over an internet girl?

"I got better."


Did he go, or did he just weasel out of it somehow?


Like he said, he'd been dancing with that chick for quite a while.


To piss off the people who get easily butt hurt?....yes...Yes, it was necessary.


Well at least she recycles


I would expect based on the carving and the nation it was done in that any mistake he did make would be forgiven by his almighty god.

isn't ignorance bliss!


I love that. And how obsessed they are with him.


if i were i wouldnt be disappointed by this low quality garbage unlike you


Then why are you wasting your time on reddit?
EDIT: I now realize that people can only take so much. So you were probably just taking a break. Ty all for the insight.


Very witty my good sir. Upvotes for you.


"I've bought a new *mexican* hat, it has a *three foot eight* brim, it'll go great with my *hot pink mankini* "


I inherited my blue eyes and dislike of seafood from my mother. are those related too?


Very similar to a vagina in that aspect.


**THIS** Har Har neckbeards.


get this lady a lawn!


Wow. That guy must have absolutely no pride or self-esteem.


> you'll see jokes about the criminal being raped

MALE prisoners.

Important detail.


Wtf?!? Why did you have to add the "cunt" at the end of it? I would understand if there was some sort of comedic value towards it. Is there something I'm not seeing here that adding an extra vulgar word makes your comment more humorous?


Thanks, Clarissa, you've explained it all!


normally, you have to take what ever support comes since the wait is insane

edit: sorry I forgot what fucking thread I was in, I get it this is literally what the post is about.


And I quote, "I had had more women by accident than kennedy has had on purpose"


as a non-moron i can assure you none of this happened


Today we all learned who the creator of this style is. Some pottymouthed chicks husband.


Drunk sex is "horrible sexual violence" to you?

You must be *tons* of fun.


So you're going to throw boiling oil at him?


What she did was wrong. She has expressed remorse.  Is she supposed to change her beliefs because she failed to live up to them one time?

I have gotten a speeding ticket. Am I unfit to teach my children not to exceed the speed limit?


I do this. As an added bonus, it's kinda fun.


Then game on if you're up for it ;p


> by my calculations your 6 year old son has a 9 inch flacid penis

Only on reddit.


Part of the problem is that Islam and Sharia suck really bad.  I am not religious at all, but you'll never find me defending Islam, even when it's being attacked by Christian hypocrites.  Fuck Islam.  Islam is the worst, most divisive religion.  It's even worse than Christianity in its nasty divisiveness and overall idiocy.


your parents got pwned. I bet your mom was in bed that night going "What the hell do we do now Kevin, she went out and got her own car!!"

P.s. I assume your dads name is kevin


It says "he" right in the fucking title, you lazy asshole.


Sir, you bring great honour to my Reddit account.


Who gives a shut about incholesterol


They're like bags of sand


>The whole point of Jesus' birth being a ~~miracle~~ fictitious story. ;)

FTFY.

**EDIT:** Rustled some jimmies with a joke. What a surprise!


> Respect level astronomical.


Yes, he clearly states he is not only an atheist, but that he represents all atheists.


My problem with this picture is that he clearly is able to hold all those feels.


still a better love story than twilight.


English grammar change enough by then for this be alright;


**the poster of this is a faggot. The other post was a lot better and this guy is just tryin to be a dick. This level sucked anyways**


You're my new favorite redditor. Get famous.


It seemed appropriate at the time.


Be like Roberto from futurama and practice your stabbing.


I don't understand why you're being hostile. Am I wrong? I'm only interested in the clear conveyance of ideas. I suppose I could have just downvoted you, but I thought I'd help by pointing out the uselessness of the statement.


after you shit yourself, your mind goes numb for a week or so.. Idk what I was thinking but it worked.


Yeah those darn Vice staffers! Keep it on tried and true Fox News, right buddy?


she looks [amazing in this one too ;)](http://www.imagekitty.com/azf1x4phnwfz/xQvDN.jpg.html)


Speaking as a former competitive mime his work in showing the weight of the hammer is damn near flawless. Dedication to the point of hurting his knees on that. [Respect.](http://i.imgur.com/VccJP.jpg)


If she is in love with him then it doesnt matter if the money is an exaggeration is it?

If the money matters isnt she just a gold-digger?

"she wants security" isn't something you can really say with a straight face in modern times.  She is a gold digger? Let her get whats coming to her.


In reverse, the machine slowly eats the town's means to livelihood.


Go fuck yourself.

Edit: The downvotes are so worth it. Sucks to be hated, don't it?


"Gone in 60 Seconds" staring Nic Cage and Angelina Jolie is a trademark name. I order you to remove it from the webpage.


Chill out, im not on here as much as you proper lads, chill out


GG Hobo, making you feel safe from those abusive aliens


No they don't. They may not have faith in a God. But they do have faith in something, or they could have no hope. Think about it, and come back when you are a little smarter :)


Are you suggesting I shouldn't wear my "FUCK YOU" socks to an interview? They're quite stylish IMHO.


Not at all, I got DMG after 10 matches.


###**Remember to [tell your congressmen](http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/) how much this means to you as an American.**

- [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Budget_of_NASA](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Budget_of_NASA?Nobody_Cares,_Apostolate)


Could you do me a favour and fuck off back to SRS? Kthxbai.


Something I heard once that I really liked:

"That's like saying, 'But you can't have asthma! This room is full of air!'"


No, only that she could have been in on any sort of conspiracy. And way to quote in a condescending way, because that's not what I said at all, and seeing as how I "better present some god-damned evidence" this must be really important and all, so be sure to quote me exactly. Prick.


You took that alley-oop and shattered the rim


You, little cousin, are a cunt.


I'm guessing ACTA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmQN93NqqDM&list=LLDU6AlHwdt_Prtzsn2seXHA&index=1&feature=plpp_video_ and Protect Children from Online Pornographers Act. (http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/08/the-legislation-that-could-kill-internet-privacy-for-good/242853/)


Yea but he has a finals MVP so he cool


And all links will point back to reddit.


Yeah, I guess. But thanks for not being a judgemental asshole like I thought you were =)


No it's for people to attend games in Florida


That just makes me think there might be something wrong with it tbh.


I don't know man, people always give examples of how buying condoms can be awkward but I've always found it pretty straight forward, if someone jokes about it just smile and carry on.


Careful now, since it was your submission you'll probably be suspected for the time being. Not saying you have to go prove your honor just saying if you would like your submission to still be considered you'll probably need to be cautious on how you proceed from here.


That's just what he keeps his lunch in to hide it from Biden.


I used to be a swimmer, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


as an ARAM player I'm scared

It's quite a good buff tho


Apparently you haven't seen me in action before.

:D

EDIT: I actually DO hate muslims though, make no fucking mistake about it. Just much of the other shit I say is a bit exaggerated.


Two soldiers are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, "Thhbbbppplbpthpblpp!"


What do you mean by Google cardboard? There is no "Google cardboard". Google does not make a cardboard. They did, however, make a prototype for an I/O event that has been reproduced/reimagined in various degrees of quality.

I do not understand what you're trying to say.


Pixar can pull it off.


Is day pretty attracrive not quite hot.


*"I know it hurts you. Tomorrow you are free, but don't stay at your home, take your families out, let people see you're doing okay, and hope Luka returns as soon as possible."*


don't joke about this kind of stuff...


That quick cut to that kid's face made me laugh so fucking hard.


This Rage Comic Not Meant To Be A Factual Statement...


Cancer doesn't have a leg to stand on anymore!


That may be true. However, as much as I love to smoke, I do not see why people are upvoting this image. Any father who would force their five year old to smoke marijuana, shoving a pipe down their throat, is a sick fucking asshole.


Oh god, i'm scared to think about how they'd make the one muppet that has it's intestines hanging out in the beach scene.


An internet white knight who secretly longs for companionship and hopes that this may be his 1/100000000000 chance of having that one unique story to tell in 10 years to friends about how they met?


The instructions weren't clear enough and I got my dick caught in the ceiling fan.


Hahahahahahaha, you are kidding, right?


> Sir, I needs to check inside yo' asshole.


her boyfriend must've been relieved though


I don't expect that to ever happen. Although there have been people who demanded their kidney back after a divorce.
https://www.google.com/search?q=spouse+demands+kidney+after+divorce


Thanks for writing all that out, dude. Really pleasent reading. Also I'm high as balls. UPVOTES!


probably a mod for /r/trees


Yes.  Your original post doesn't make sense.


If my aunt (the person who took this picture) hadn't been with them, they might still be sitting and waiting.


Darwin award for the crusaders!

Darwin award to the Pope who started the crusades for his contributions to evolution.

Baby elephants fighting:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YpQhxqnaNw

God said war was "servicemen competing."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z64AzHIdgKw


His massacres also had a HUGE environmental impact. Forrests started to grow again, ecosystems repaired and changed the entire world for the better environmentally wise at least.

Funny that.


You've seen a justification for raping people in your mind for one reason or another. It certainly isn't anywhere on here.


Why are you closed?! I want to shop here! Explain yourself!


I never said it was hard


Calling is the wrong way to do it anyway. If you pick up the phone to find a company you interviewed for on the other end your first reaction is thinking you got it. Not surprised people were pissed when then told they hadn't.

A letter is a much better idea.


Ja precis! Utan invandring hade vi varit världens bästa land, jag har inga källor på det men jag känner det på mig!


You must be so proud.


>AskReddit is for thought-provoking, inspired questions.

this question is neither.

"why don't we talk about worthwhile actors and movie series?"

that question is both however


12 is old enough to know not to lick a dogs dick.


They forgot lustful, cruel and greedy


Why is it so hard? I just want to be able to pump premium, regular or yogurt when I come to the gas station.


Which wasn't really interesting, really.


no dude he was using facetious subtext.

what are you, autistic?


I don't see the future hall of famer.  Great player, had some huge impacts and without him we would be minus 2 rings.  But I feel his legacy is great player that got hurt a lot more than hall of famer.


My compensation over the last 4 years has averaged at about 300k


Preemptive mastectomy at that.  Poorest decision ever.


Tuxedo T-Shirt- got it.


YOU TOO GODSIR. IMA LETCHU FINISH,BUT FIRST I JUST GOTTASAY  THAT NOBODY ISPROUD OF YOUR DECLAY RED UPVOTEPOST.SECONDLY, IM SICK AND TRIED OF THE SEXUALIZATION OF HORSE. SERIOUSLY, WHY ISNOBODDY DISCUSSING THESERIOUS OFFENSIVENATURE OF THAT SHIT.WHAT IF THAT HORSE GOT A YEARST INFECTION. HE DIDN'T D NOTHING TO YOU GUYS.


This is all true btw.


yeah because 2 weeks = the entire term as president.

guarantee russia will get out of this and laugh in murica's face


Look at my horse, my horse is amazing, give it.....ey, buddy, eyes up here.


That's still inaccurate as most auto accidents aren't preventable and the governments own data only suggests proper car seats. In fact it is estimated that only 1/3 of deaths related to children in car accidents are preventable ([Source](http://www.thegeorgialawyer.com/third-of-fatal-injuries-suffered-by-children-in-car-accidents-are-preventable/)), so over 2/3s are not preventable.


I disagree.  He ran away from home, never completed high school, had a wine problem, and was eventually arrested.


comment too misogynistic
1/10,wouldn't reread


M. Night Shamalamadingdong


I'm not a big music person but I know them from the [Borderlands theme song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnSp9rgfel8).


"Hello, Airplanes? Yeah, It's blimps. You win!"


Sorry, Reddit is broken, I can't upvote this more than once!


That last sentence was a joy to read. Bravo.


There's nothing to argue about.   This video contributes nothing to trp and has zero allusion to self-improvement or sexual strategy.   It should be a blip on r/funny, not here.


Transparency is overrated.


let's just say that if HR saw his post history he'd probably be fired....


It's called melisma. Look it up.

Edit: downvotes? What the heck? Lol


The crusades. They beat their lesbian daughter (my best friend at the time) when she came out. They tried to pray the gay away. Make her go to church more etc.


What kind of laugh was it? Did it smell like dinner? Tell me more useless shit about you.


no need to trust in god when its backed by silver baby


It's better than linking the cracked articles.


A cop doing his job and shooting someone who attacks him and tries to take his gun was news, so I'm not sure why the double standard...


Fucking shit man really?


Wait, does it do that automatically?

Bla bla bla upside down bla bla bla

Edit: I'm a moron


So where's the gay space then? I tired r/LGBT and the trannies have taken that over too.


Technically correct is the best kind of correct


Then subscribe to /r/AskMontreal and use /r/Montreal+AskMontreal to browse.


These things called *aircraft carriers*...


You truly are the cancer killing gaming.


Ever been molested by a child? It doesn't feel good.


My point is he left the bar alone, TO WALK HOME, hammered. If he had a good friend there to say no youre not WALKING HOME ALONE, NONE of this woulda happened.


My malfunctioning roflcopter goes komptchakorokolovski.


I was in the grocery line today watching some guy and his wife check out. All the while he's yammering on his iPhone 5 and paying for his groceries with WIC.


How in the Native American version of hell do they get away with that?


Obama is what ULTRA LIBERAL America wants. But thankfully there are more folks who lean slightly conservative rather than liberal. And because of that McCain will be president.


Sometimes you'd rather just listen to a cd than go to a concert.


"I..did...it...

for...the...lu...lu...LULZ!"

*dies*


have i been immature sorry for starting a conversation?


"If you hate your job you don't ~~quit~~ strike, you show up every day and do it really half assed, that's the American way."

-Edit- Sorry for fucking it up.


As much as I would have liked for the to be a clean block, it was a foul.


I get why this is nottheonion worthy, but this news story could either be an example of a poorly trained, out of control officer, or a really traumatic experience for the cop.

I remember seeing a video of a cop completely breaking down after killing a suspect.


Do you smoke? Because if you did, you'd realize how naive this comment it.


Women's tennis would sound the same.


I'd [hit that.](http://i.imgur.com/mSuCq.png)


After being on this site, the word "gem" pisses me off to no end.


>NEVER allow someone to make you feel something without your permission.

You have the attitude of someone who's asking to get raped [](/happy "Wut?")


Sorry. Really unbelievable. The line: "You test the program, it runs without a hitch." Is entirely untrue. ;D


More. I can do this all day. Didn't think the commercial loop was funny. I also think How I Met Your Mother is basically Friends in a new decade and just as boring.


Nintendo rehashing the same thing over and over again?

I don't know what you are talking about, but that's *not* the Nintendo I know.


It was the equivalent of fixing a fence infested with termites by repainting it. You didn't really fix anything, you just masked the issue until it pops up again or the whole fence collapses.

For coke to try and come out is if Gawker was in the wrong here is completely laughable. Gawker showed the huge flaw in Coke's PR stunt.


Dude no one knows how to properly trouble shoot a router may as well bang it with a stick


I'm the 50th person to like your comment! Do I get a prize?


Oh god, I'm sorry I'm so late. Are you ok?


That would be so awesome. Except that he's going to die.


That bull is the Bane of his existence.


I don"t know why you are getting upvotes


Seriously. You know what's more stressful than a wedding? Literally everything that comes after it. Marriage and commitment. Babies and child raising. Buying homes. Losing jobs and financial debt. Saving for retirement. Unexpected illnesses or accidents. Planning funerals for your loved ones.

This woman wants to be a *wife* and yet she can't handle a good contour on someone else's face.


Hahaha. That's right... Anyone who isn't a terrible person is actually Laurelai.

Pathetic.


Would you really want to eat airplane salmon?


NO. If you cannot breed with your partner you are inferior.

Stupid fucking faggots.


only because that giant looks like he's 5-6.


and you are ok, you are here, and there is a God


Of course they do. Its the only way to remove that annoying symbol


solution: don't have a shitty diet


When I was younger I was really into those. They actually made really high end tech decks made out of wood and would have wheels with real ball bearings. There was also competitions and stuff, it was a really cool hobby. [Here's on the of the competitions I went to.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhwJ0o1Dmrw)

Edit: I was 12, I don't get what all the hate is about.


They probably prefer it that way, what do they care that you read the calculated tax total to them? News flash, they dont.


Depends how many calories you burn.


Why does this have 67(edit:208) upvotes?

It isn't even clever.

Edit: Downvotes?
Hah, good to see /r/pokemon is as mature as one would expect.


Perhaps I don't understand the mind of a rapist, but I think if I was caught in one of those, I'd have more pressing issues on my mind than killing the woman.


>r/mensrights

Be thankful they took away my blacklist powers.


Hello, are your thermocyclers running?

THEN YOU BETTER GO CATCH 'EM!

I'll see myself out.


Is World is Warcraft still popular enough for that meme to be relevant?


**I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!**


>Oh but he's actually very clever you see

When was gender mentioned?


1. Finish education. 2. Respect everyone. 3. Always have faith.


The extreme insecurity and defensiveness.


Reminds me of Hitler.


When did you learn you were deaf?


Not to the Japanese. However, Id imagine the Germans are still bitter at me for 2010.


I don't take too kindly to you making light of the situation son.


Torture and the practice of detainment without being charged are practices that need to stop, and are synonymous with Gitmo. Gitmo, as a facility, without these practices taking place, may be a facility that we continue to need in the future as a place to house enemy combatants off-shore.


I'm sorry, I've changed my mind, so long as no links are going to specific forums to try and find people or anything this is fine.

Sorry for the hassle, I need more coffee.


I keep my phone next to me, but I have an alarm that doesn't shut off until I get up and touch my phone to a NFC tag on the opposite wall of my room.


You can think what you like champ.

Just like the dumbasses that kept thinking I was asking a question I never asked.

If I'm awfully pissed then the majority of people here are awfully stupid. The logic you are using is just perfect for this.


Some friends of mine discovered Jerry Garcia's home phone number back in the early 90s. We jumped on a conference bridge (we were phone phreaks) and called him up. We figured he wouldn't answer or he'd just hang up on us, but he was actually curious about who we were and how we were able to make free phone calls. Cool guy!


He doesn't have to prove shit


If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put booties on my cat.


No need for the butthurt display


Me too! We had our fair share of creepers, but most of them were genuinely nice, just retired/widowed/lonely men! Very depressing. :/


>It's just that you're such a damn asshole.

Yes, well, it might have something to do with the fact that every time I reply to a thread people bring up an unrelated post of mine and call me an asshole for it. After a while you just take on the role because hey, they already accused you of it, so you might as well go with it.


Not for posting in GW, no.   But if you look at OP's links, the majority of the comments have been deleted.  How do you know what the girl said?   Is it possible Laurelai was just a cunt to her without provocation?  Sure.   I will concede that.   But can you tell me without a doubt that in those deleted comments, the girl didn't get shitty for Laurelai?   No.


LOL. That one is my favorite too. I suspect it was inspired by this guy.
[http://i.imgur.com/ddKgiVR.jpg](http://i.imgur.com/ddKgiVR.jpg)


so... u have battletoads, but u want to know if he wants to reserve it? aaaand, youre going to call him when a game you have already is released?


Ran into one of these at our vacation home and was noped at first, then became quick friends. His name was Xerxes and we fed him all sorts of tasty treats(crickets, mosquitoes, moths etc.).


Indeed.  However for repentance to be effective the OP needs to have accepted and professed her belief in Jesus Christ.


Hands down favorite shows as kids for most in the room was Bill Nye the Science Guy  A few watched Star Trek TNG.  As for current state of science/education programming people are looking forward to the reboot of Cosmos with Neil deGrasse Tyson.  On the other hand, many documentaries on cable TV channels are filled with hype and factual inaccuracies. Caveat emptor.


THIS! I CAME HERE TO SAY THIS!!


thepiratebay.mars

Try raiding _that_


Who cares? IMO it's not really fun at all.


argh! him again! What makes him so cool?!


You think so? /u/FartyMcp1e 's history would suggest otherwise


My wife has been reading the series and is expecting to go watch the movie when it comes out. I can honestly say that I haven't had this much sex since I was a teenager. Listen to this guy OP. He's right.


i wouldnt blame the parent for the original issue. i blame the parents for posting pics of their kids on a website where paedophiles are known to hang out

EDIT: who the fuck downvotes someone who has their kids best interest at heart. youre all bad parents


Seriously, does he have a kickstarter? I don't have much in the way of resources or talents to make this happen, but I'd give him $20 just for trying.


Lol this guy still trusts Obama.

He was probably highly influenced by the two ferns spot.  Nitwit


That's stupid. I don't need the sound of actual gunshots ringing through my house at 3am.


I used to think Twilight is the 9gag of movies, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Your piss oozes out....?

You, sir, have some urinary problem.


The guy tried to walk off. It's pretty standard to tackle him and detain him. Is it there fault he had almost no dairy in his diet for his entire diet so his bones were already turned to dust? No.

Now get over it. This isn't world news.


You throw yourself at the ground and miss.


You take your mom seriously.


The joke is that he's proposing to himself.. I think.


That was back before regi made the rule where they can only promote TSM.  They can't even say hey go watch random streamer when they log off unless it's a TSM brand streamer