^ perfect embodiment of /r/starcraft, thanks for the stunning demonstration.


This will guarantee at least one date.


What zoo were you born in? How did the artificial habitat compare to the one that you live in now that you've been released? Do you like to swing from vines or jump from branch to branch?


To be fair, I don't think anybody would be able to handle the bullshit his kid got into because her fetish was danger. Single parent or not.


It's because I used to beat her.


Lyk dis if u cry everytim.


My brain is crying for your spelling. Its terrible. Read less bible, read more dictionary.


I lost it when I read "Ronbow"


Eh I see lots of water. You are surrounded by water. Then it is a water level. Q.E.D.

Edit: Hey guys, I understand that my opinion is different than y'alls, so the gratuitous amounts of down-votes are unnecessary. However, if you feel compelled to contribute to the sinking of my karma boat, please leave an explanation as to the reason for your down vote, thanks :)


Even better if you assume this position in front of your boss.


Are you actually fucking five?  Who gives a shit?


> Splitting an incoming arrow in two with one of your own.


Pretty much.

"Hey reddit, I have this secret base to carry out illegal shit in, I've documented almost every detail I can think of. Have fun digesting all that! Yay!"


It sure does ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


You're one funny mother father you know that?

EDIT: the rate of downvotes for this comment is very impressive, I'm rather proud I've inadvertently annoyed so many people.


Your dad sounds like a jerk


Oh no, is the white boy offended and triggered by something on the internet? Imagine how minorities must feel.


Or the "questions" which are just thinly veiled attempts to show off some knowledge on the topic - they're usually an unintelligible rant of buzz-words that is impossible to give an answer to.


LOL

I'm butthurt over the fact that the dota community is now infested with immature children that sit at about 2.5k MMR and act like they're Dendi in 2010/2011 with nerves of steel that have actually achieved ANYTHING in their time playing other than feeding over 200 matches in a row


The fuck are we suppose to do with your testicle?


"I am going to get yours and give it to mine".  Fuck you". - Obama 2012


I agree that is 100% why they want them installed. But it's still pretty damn awkward when someone asks you to install what is essentially an anti-rape window.


Cus being tall equals great skill in basketball. Offcourse he will my fellow redditor.

Edit: A would you look at that, a bunch of downvoting cunts

Edit2: More downvotes? The little faggot in his costume gets the frontpage and I get this, why reddit why


I mean I could kinda see it if she has some sort of horrible back pain from her job and nobody but her kids to fall back on. It still sounds weird but definitely outside the realm stern judgement.

There's too much ambiguity with OP's description.


winner winner sheen dinner


I have to slap mine with a shoe to get it to stop.


uh, it runs great on my pc and I plan on switching for sure. console shooters are more fun and i'm not the only one who thinks that.


"Next up is a rare footage of Hollywood actor Robert Downey Jr. torturing and killing kittens in his backyard. Stay tuned."


Have you ever handled a Gamecube controller? No? Well I'll let the mass of people tell you just how great it was in every way. Reddit seems to have a lot of very strong opinions on these things.


To get to the other side.


Prayer, prayer will keep the children on the path of God!


I felt dirty just masturbating to that


> Yes and yes.

FTFY


I did my part.

Edit: holy fuck we did it


I have confirmed that this comment is spammy in its nature and have downvoted it. It was flagged to me by the users of this site for being offensive,spammy and having tones of casual racism.

Did i get it right?

Please upvote me so i am able to continue to help clean up this site for everyone.


This is probably the way it should be seen.  The question should have read something like "What is 8 + 5 (Note: Use the "create 10s" method to show your work)"


that's not a reason to torment an 11 year old.


The DVD comes with bonus material like FBI warnings.

In French!


> You should've tapped the bottom of the bottle while it was in the pour position


My body is finely tuned, like a microchip, and the flu is like a grain of sand. It could literally shut down the entire system.


If you're going to quote YouTube comments, stay on YouTube. Keep that filth off of Reddit.

[Edit]

[lol jk 45 people are justin beiber fans](http://i.imgur.com/Bfqvj.png)


July 10th, 2012 - 8:58 pm: I have witnessed him speak.


This isn't proof of anything. At any sign of the possibility of infidelity and this sub yells "dump the bastard" like they aren't all jealous single couch-sitting losers who have bottomless advice when they only ever know half the story.
A friend of hers? A friend of his? Those are red flags. They never have their friends interests in mind. It's always about them.


Dude, its winter. Wait until summer and go to a preppy white private college, you'll see them everywhere


I've spent hours and hours doing this and other micro. as gm mmr terran, I've come to the conclusion I should just play Protoss.

Life would be so much easier.


Confirmed, looks like a bird


Asshat?

Gee wizz. I'm sorry for having a different opinion than you about a book.


Bitch you an abstract artist you better get used to that shit


>and don't trust myself lifting heavy weights while high

He's obviously saying he doesn't trust lifting weights high, he mentioned nothing about not trusting himself driving high.


And then the whole class whipped on their parachute pance and flash dance mobbed around the autistic kid, right?

Edit: What the hell did I just post? It is way to late to be on reddit. I'll go to sleep...after just one more post


I love that you're dismissive of critique. No one is in any place to make you alter your practices, but you can't claim you're anything but a hypocrite the moment you enforce the rules on one post and not on another.

Ultimately I don't care, I enjoyed this submission. I also enjoyed your blatant asshattery and disregard for posting guidelines.


What the?  Fuck that. Both of you, I'm your dad now.  You're good kids and have grown into fine young men. I'm proud of you.  The rest of you, shuffle up a bit and make room for PhilipOntacos and TedKoppelganger.  They'll be staying with us now, so make them welcome.


For a woman with two parents who were both really high up in showbiz, it's sad that her biggest claim to fame is a few episodes of The Office.


Great clown clown is in town tonight

Edit: If one more person says "great clown clown is in town town" I will find you.


But the narwhal will be busy with his bacon then.


I just assume that everyone is suffering.


>Apostolate's

Edit: Can you guys downvote me to -100?


So far I like everything about it. It's more relaxed, the setting is very informal, very relevant. When you get right down to it though, it's still who, what, where, when, and why.


Go ahead and weep, but I agree with that comment. Anyone that doesn't see the pattern is a fool.


*derails train, fails to save anyone; mass murderer, runs away*


EVERYBODY says "Aww" when they see my dog.


"Her only tool is a knife! Isn't she amazing?"


Fuck all of you. Im way done with this subreddit.   Fuck ents. Fuck lord of the rings, fuck tolkein, fuck you nerds, and fuck trees.


Sure did! I used to cherish it, until it was destroyed in a house fire in college :(


Notice it's not white guys retaliating like rabid dogs.

Oh yeah, can't say stuff like that. Facts don't matter.

Racism.


And he got bullied. Goku, who's supposed to be an extremely strong Saiyan warrior, was made into a high school student who got called Geeko by some generic cool guy.


>And I suppose [1] /r/Feminism is full of Misandrist idiots, yeah?

Yeah, except it isn.t


I support cancer research at least three times a day.

edit; durr.


Then stop. None of it was funny after the second post.


I watch HBO Go via TPB.


I think you've so thoroughly stuck buried your head in this whole gamergate thing that you've completely lost all perspective.

No one gives a fuck about gamergate. You've blown it way, *way* out of proportion.


I can relate man.

The other day I tried to toss my cereal box back into the cabinet and it spilled cereal everywhere. What a bummer.


you cum guzzling little fag whistle


Unless you're gay and rooming with your significant other.

COLLEGE WAS AWESOME.

Edit: WHERE DID ALL THESE UPVOTES COME FROM


>Turns out they WERE in your league.

but probably out of his price range.


Because a memorial stone on a small plot of land makes up for the 20,000 bodies buried under buildings all over the city right?

Thanks for your incredible insight.


You may have just crashed that site.


Not your personal army. Especially when it comes to issues that you stand to directly profit from. I'd suggest appealing to family, friends, friends of friends, neighbors, members of your church...basically anyone you actually know in real life and not a bunch of anonymous strangers who will likely interpret your sales pitch as spam.


For real, why doesn't the government just bottle the water itself? Be like, "Canada brand water. It's what beavers drink!"


Why the fuck do you need to share this? You're a fucking worthless little sack of shit.


And as a girl I don't wanna pay six quid for a cocktail, I want a bloody pint


These guys are niggers.  Way to represent your race you scumbag pieces of shit.


My prom was boring. But one time I went to some prom after party in LA dressed up like Woody Harrelson and met this chick named Roseanne. Sweetest girl ever. Everything was a fairytale until I lost her damn number. :(


It doesnt say that, but it is the defacto typical reaction to cis posters in most cases.


Right place.  Right time.


Neither. I kind of just like looking at them like people instead of objects.


NUMBER ONE: http://i.imgur.com/Id7gf.png


*Nothing* will make me like that cunt. I now hate you even more, thanks for the tip off.


I think that might just be the cutest thing I've ever heard.


Whatever. At least we aren't cheaters


I live in NJ and my last name is Guido. Doesn't get much worse.


Milking Han Solo and Indiana Jones for every last drop.  And what else?  He's not really an actor.


It seems that last shot was cut in for some reason and not from when the outtake happened. You can see on the wall that the light switch is fixed again.

Sorry to be Mr buzzkillington


Thank you, but mine's best.


This one's great because both the setup *and* the punchline are offensive.


It's complete irrelevant what he did or didn't expect. He acted in a way unfitting of a member of a so-called civilised society and there are consequences to his actions.


No shit, I think the most WTF thing about this is OP only posting one pic.

*Edit: My most upvoted comment and I didn't call the OP a faggot. See, it can be done.


Except it's not based on info, it's based on who ESPN feels like jerking off that week. This is pretty common knowledge.


"Mom....MORE HOT POCKETS!"


>Get a wagon and wheel her to a dumpsite and dump her off. Internet hugs for you, this is really sad.

FTFY


So-and-so is now using Facebook in Spanish. *Today at 4:34 p.m.*

So-and-so is now using Facebook in English. *Today at 4:37 p.m.*


Don't need to upload it anywhere. You can upload directly to imgur from your computer.


Hey guys, author here. Thanks for kind words! I've been writing about League/eSports and such for a good long while, and it's nice to read threads like this (they're rare). Looking forward to the skin, and appreciate all of you taking the time to read.


>You'd think they'd see something isn't quite right when the moderators of a sub can't comment there without heavy downvotes.

Her haters follow her around and downvote her. It literally doesn't matter what she posts, it gets downvoted to ridiculous levels. SRD is a part of that.


Well, instead of labor camps, they'll be called "Time-outs."


You sound pretty butthurt about it though or whatever. The downvote really hurts too.


You watch your roommate wipe his ass?

Honestly, I think that's weirder than smelling your own shit.


Probably because du Pont suffered from a hereditary  condition that caused his body to produce insufficient quantities of the skin pigment melanin to be considered  black.

Tl;dr: he was white.

Also: name, connections, $200 million, old money...

EDIT: aargh, your downvotes are killing my post-boner, you bleak, humorless barsterds!


That or it's Master Chief.


ding! ding! ding!  I always try to move the bike to the edge of the space before resorting to the sidewalk.  Especially if they have pulled into one of the "straight-in" spots...don't fucking take up the whole thing.

I swear Austinites wouldn't last a second in NYC...stuff like this is a fact of life in the big apple and no one gets all pissy about it.


You already are stranded to die on a space rock.
Sorry.


Exactly, and what better way to show that we no longer accept that than to utterly destroy those companies. We can do it and forge a better world if only we decide to do so.


Does anybody know any jokes about tachyons?


Welcome to the DotA community. Enjoy your stay in low priority.


It made you aladeen.


It's ok buddy don't cry i was jus kidding. Gimme a kiss.


Do you think I came up with that line?


Look, the public are tired of this story. You may appreciate there is some new nuance or whatever. Frankly I don't see it and I've followed this. Is there something new here?

This isn't a plane going missing, it's not something new. I'm not surprised it didn't make the news. Online news can aim at niche interests. So of course it's there.


/r/trees have a new anthem


***ATTENTION YOU CUNTS, OP got fucked in his ass for three days straight.  Now he has a prolapsed asshole and suffers from anal leakage.  What a fucking homo.  Itoadaso***


Seems to me like the people that get pregnant easiest are the ones that don't want to. You should stomp around the house saying "I SURE FUCKING HOPE NO ONE GETS PREGNANT AROUND HERE!"


Good question! At this point it is merely to see how many downvotes I can accumulate, but originally it seemed like it would be a fun way to cheer redditors up!


you probably meant wife but i automatically thought wifi


Or just make your editor to highlight TODO word...


Pear juice is another widely used filler. Who the fuck buys just Pear juice? No one. Mix it with 2-3 other juices, a bunch more sugar and flavors, water and you've got yourself some easy to sell *Berry Medly*.


I'm sorry but that one also counts. Downvoted just like the rest!


>£9k (15k USD) a year

As an American, I find that cute.


lol you still believe in fairy tales  ok that answered all my questions thanks


**DID HE PEE OR NOT?**


> I dont think users like that will last long in /r/firearms[1] .

Been here since the start, still going strong!


^ editor at Fox News.


"le" is what people make fun of reddit with, not 4chan.

EDIT: I was pointing out that lawyers was making fun of 4chan but darkhunt3r was making fun of reddit... 90 downvotes, really? T_T

EDIT #2: AND Someone went into all my recent comments to downvote every one. Thanks.


I fly American all the time.


Said a person on the Internet

Edit: I realise he was making an absurd statement. So was I.


I'm embarrassed to say I finally figured out what ftfy stands for . I thought it stood for: fuck that, fuck you. Sorry this is totally unrelated to anything but I had a breakthrough.


No problem, this sub has cycles of circlejerk.

Once Rodgers starts breaking records again next year it'll be your time again don't worry. Then all the "Packers fans" will come out of the woodwork right up until Rodgers chokes in the playoffs one more time.


Doesn't even need to be a major muscle - I personally have gotten rid of boners in about 30 seconds using only my hand thousands of times.


It was invented by pagans, who knew nothing of the word of God.


Also the girl from Transformers 1-3.


These people are typically fucked in the head to begin with so getting a reliable answer isn't probable.


To be fair, this is how it should work.  You really shouldn't have to use itunes just to transfer music onto the ipod.  Drag and drop would be really nice at times without the itunes overhead.


Apple sucks, dude.  It's a shitty, virus ridden operating system, and Apple is going to lose to [HTC](http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-09-06/htc-patents-challenged-by-apple-probably-valid-judge-say.html) in the coming months.

And LOL @ Apple for charging 2k extra to get a macbook with 4GB extra of non-user modifiable RAM.  What the hell is wrong with you people?

Edit: HTC link


If I said you have a beatiful vagina would you hold it against me.......


More disturbing than fantasising about being raped or choked? Because that is pretty much the leading fantasies for most women.


Yea, but then at least they have a reason. When it's a math book where the content does not change every year, that's when it gets ridiculous.


...so 90% of the people on here?


Obama is best friend of all americans, and look what he is doing :)


my brain hurts from those cuts


Hassan "Westbrook shaq" Whiteside


Oh. My. God. Read that like 15 times and thought "three of us" meant man, woman and /u/way_fairer and "trying to make it two" made no sense at all.


http://www.derailingfordummies.com/complete.html#hostile

Read the entire thing while you're at it.


I know.  I'm also concerned about what happens to these guys if they go to prison because a girl feels guilty about getting drunk and hooking up with a dude.  He isn't going to get out of prison, get his old job back, and back to life as usual, he's fucked for life.


I thought it was called bumper carts, you troll


Why do you need to hear it again?


Well played my good sir. An upvote for you.


It's just present vs. past tense.


No it won't. It will follow the same formula and won't meet people's expectations.


This is suppose to be a sad thread! Get outta here with that crap!

In all seriousness though, I'm happy for you. :)


Cool.

How'd she do it? Hammer?


You have lived, my friend


I can't take you seriously because of how I've RES tagged you.


>Axe me anything

FTFY


Wasn't this sub just complaining about users getting banned for brigading?


The name's actually perfect:

**Cats Without gods**


IM JOININ' LE DOWNBOAT TRAIN TO SHOW MY SUPPORT FOR RON PAUL!!! DOWNVOTE THIS COMMENT FOR BRAVERY!!!


We're on our 8th year together, both losing our virginity to each other. I hope some day we end up like you two.


I like how you need to validate your size by saying 'massive'. Look, everyone knows a boner is a hard penis. You saying its "massive" makes you seen insecure.


I messaged the OP, will let you know.

EDIT: OP is legit, donate away!


  how can something be ALMOST as worse?
is that like dropping me on my own head?


yeah jesus' dad tried to kill him, too


Ahhh,  the old Reddit switcheroo!!!!


Because reaction gifs are stupid.


I'M NOT A PART OF THIS SYSTEM


I personally prefer it for convenience. You could always read the link before blindly clicking.


From what I remember of my teenage years, if I had a boner, I wanted sex. And if I didn't have a boner, I still wanted sex.


I bet you're the cool one at parties.


Fuck.. that was almost poetic. I feel bad for getting rid of katie "stabs your cats" Johnson now..


You have absolutely no data supporting that.


Um, aww. Thank you :)


The red flag, for me, is locking = something to hide.


Effective googling is an art, and so is knowing exactly what to Google.

That said, pray users don't start rebooting computers by themselves, that'd be a problem!


Why do you even care about up/downvotes on this subreddit...?

Sigh, dumbasses. Learn reddit please.

Under reddit's DO NOT:

>Downvote opinions just because you disagree with them. The down arrow is for comments that add little or nothing to the discussion.


"I'M A GIRL SO I AM ALLOWED TO BEAT A MAN WITHOUT HIM FIGHTING BACK, BECAUSE HITTING WOMEN IS WRONG!"


It's fun outsmarting the Arsenal fans isn't it? They don't catch on too quickly ;)

Edit: Fuck me, take a joke. See the ;) It's a cheeky wink. You'd think someone had just taken you're fucking smarties.

Bastards


The woman in the video is April Simpson.  She is a news anchor in St. Louis who has recently recovered from brain cancer.


You sir are a moron. No, a moron can be excused. You should just go off yourself... take yourself out of the DNA pool. That doesn't even make any kind of sense. Go slap your mama, cause she did wrong in allowing you to live.


My local Kroger's competitive advantage is that they are full of food and they are closer to my house than any other place that is full of food.


I wouldn't want to fuck a nigger either. Good on ya mate.


Haha.... honestly it bothers me more that she throws them in the corner...atleast throw them away!!!


Congratulations, undedditllama has written about you!

[Bikini pic of Sheltered College Freshman posted to r/kerinportillo, Anatomy/Physiology Instructor and Radiologist duke it out over her hipbone. ](http://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/suky3)

As of now, your comment has a score of 1 (3|2).


everyone should try ZJZJZJZJZJZJZJZ

muwahahahaha

EDIT: plugging [Reddit Enhancement Suite](http://reddit.honestbleeps.com) for everyone who is very confused by this thread. also, how did this karma happen? When I commented there were like 8 comments on this thread...


YA none of these guys have a damn degree. Aui at least dropped out of UBC, these guys have the education equivalent of high school. "Smart" in Dota, gaming, knowing their way around the "esports" industry sure, and I'm sure Valve will value their opinion, but calling them **smart** is downright comedic.


I think people who buy expensive cars are morons too. Go figure.


I was going to say go rob a few banks but this sounds way more fun.


Yeah, you're gay dude. Sorry.


A real man would have shaved the beard, then immediately grown it back ~~following~~ during the sex.


Guy here, I disagree, women equalize the stupid aggressive nature of men. Men are hard wired to fight, women are hard wired to care. If you think about it, we all came from the womb of a woman, and I think the correct gender was chosen for the job of procreating.In other words if men raised children our species would never have survived.


Oh sorry, i was unaware that it was against this subs rules. Thanks for enlightening me though


Monster. Brass. Balls.


I wouldn't worry about the downvotes, people in this subreddit are mean :-). Good for you, by the way!


> New Line was acquired by WB, and with them all of their IP.

All of their IP **and** all of their contractual obligations.


My time to shine! Boobs.


You're wrong, Zoidberg can make me moister then an oyster any day


1 of the 6 is missing one.


I pretend men are women to make it easier to have sex with them.


I once used to make Templar jokes like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee


And ill definitely consider temping as a hooker just for you. I'm looking forward to our budding bromance.


Play a different game, or search for a job or something, wtf.


That doesn't make it not worth-while.  When enough states refuse to go along with a federal program, that can be a focal point for reform.


And yet before this very moment you had no idea. So how was he influencing this sub with his agenda of "hate and intolerence".

Beat it, clown.


So ... water polo?  :D


banning them from one subreddit does ZERO


eh... listen to me carefully:

He creates riddles to challenge Dark Knight.
Is he the wittiest enemy in sight?


Sitcoms about dumb hicks doing silly stuff.


That'd be *so* random LOL.


╔══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╗ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ UPVOTE THIS IF ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL STRONG R/AWW ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ WHO DON’T NEED NO TROLLING ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝


So any game in development that you're looking forward to playing?


hide ya kids and hide ur husband...


I live in Canada and even I know New Hampshire is a state.

That bitch is a dumb bitch.


LmAo YoU WoUlD LiiiiiKe ThAt HuH FaGgOoo0oT ?!?!


That performance last night didn't warrant their new name.


MY MOMMYYY SAYD DAT YUR A POOPY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOMMMYY CAN PWAY WIT DA MR KITTY????????????? GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I like to call that a "Reddit Burger".


well that was overly self-congratulatory. How about something a bit more objective next time? I can't stand reading that sort of tripe.


> likes to stand in the meadow and moo at people

Sounds friendly :)


Swoll/Swole, short for swollen, doesn't matter how you spell it because it is a shortening of another word.


I believe in progress. I believe in hope. I believe in a brighter future for America. I believe in Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.


Why the recall efforts?

This bill does alot of great things:
1)It doesn't allow unions to FORCE enrollment any more
2)Requires a referendum for raises above inflation which is just as the taxpayers have to foot the bill for these raises
3)Requires union workers to pay a trivial amount for their world class pensions and world class healthcare


The first ever documented case. She smoked 3 acres worth.


Ya fuck sea horses in their stupid asses. We will fuck their mothers while they sit and watch like little whiny bitches.


I really hope he doesn't blame himself at all for that. Survivor's guilt is a very serious issue, did he ever see anyone about this or talk about it?


You're about to get seriously downvoted by all the Mormon redditors, so have my upvote!


Relevant Cyanide and Happiness Candy Fannypacks : http://www.flashasylum.com/db/files/Comics/Kris/have.png


I dont get why PC gamers brag. The console gamers never did anything to insult PC gamers. Its just as if this subreddit came out of nowhere.


Congratulations! Unlike EA, you seem to have a basic grasp of common sense.


Yes.  So "militant" that they all applause aiding the senseless murder of unborn children.


1 move to Japan

2 Learn Japanese.

3 get the job

4 fall in love with the local Japanner Woman

5 accidentally destroy the tree that connects all japanese.

6 Team up with Michelle Rodriguez to defend Japandora

Edit: Changed Pandora to japandora thanks to /u/MisterQuimper and /u/dilatory_tactics

[Oh My goood! I got goold!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92LeRR7DfZY)


you want to see the titles??

#HITZFELD

9 league titles

12 domestic cups

2 european cups

1 intercontinental cup

= 24 titles (=facts)

#LATTEK

8 league titles

5 domestic cups

1 european cup

1 uefa cup

1 cup winners cup

= 16 titles (=facts)

come on, Lattek is good coach but NOT better than King Hitzfeld


easiest I think would be the gamecube controller....hardest would be the kinect


CERM ERN, DERNT RERN ERT FER DA ERP... HERS HERVIN SWERT KERM SER LERV HERM ERLERN, K?


I went on a date with a dude once and he had his phone out. And I go "Anything interesting?" He said no. So I shot back "Must be more interesting than me." He put his phone away immediately. Lol.


Unbeaten. In what exactly? We just fucking started. If you're saying our streak at the end of 2014 counts as something, the. yes. We are unbeaten in 2015.


true that. i was in amsterdam once and noticed the giant bike parking garage near the train station. i can't imagine how many were in there. 1000? 10,000? it was as if there were some fucked up version of midas around and everything he touched turned to bikes. or some sort of [bike demon lord and bikes sprung from the ground in the wake of his footsteps](http://i.imgur.com/szhxs.png).


GOOD GUY REDDIT

WANT TO UPVOTE COMMENT

ALREADY AT THE TOP

le reddit is le best xD~~~~

meme all the things!!!!!!!!


Except baseball. Congress should absolutely be intimately involved in Major League Baseball inquiries.


How brave of you to say that here.


So did the American government.

Edit: Dammit gang, give your upvotes to torpedohead. Just because I was too dumb to recognize the fact that I was just removing any trace of subtlety from a joke that he already made doesn't mean I deserve all his internet points.


Just because I'm annoying....   How did you put it down if you didn't pick it up?  (;


Is there a question in there?

It sounds like your pets are looking after you because they think you are incompetent of surviving without their supervision!


apparently 3 people here like tmz lol


"Tastes like daddy!" I'll see myself out now...


You know you'd fuck her mouth, don't deny it.


This one is criminally underrated. If you live in a busy city, and something like a freak weather event keeps everyone inside during the day, shit gets creepy real fast.


I dont really care too much, but the truth hurts people.


>Do the Prequels sour the Original Star Wars Trilogy?

Yes, goddammit. I decided to rewatch the original trilogy with my wife for the first time in over a decade. I had seen these movies at least 50 times each. So we are getting to the end of Jedi and I'm waiting for catharsis when all of a sudden *Hayden fucking Christensen*. Fucking son of a bitch.


Yes. Only mentally handicapped people would be willing to do this. They have absolutely no will to change anything, they just sit in their huts and wait with outstretched hands. Billions were poured to Africa without any visible result. Any help is worthless because of their mentality.


I love how she assumes all the men who buy her drinks want to sleep with her.

Edit---For those who say "They do", sorry, not all men are like that. Maybe most, but not all. I met a guy at a club who sincerely bought me drinks because he just wanted to get to know me, and ended up in a real relationship months later.


I can't say I blame them. Lemon prices have really skyrocketed since those whores keep stealing lemons off the lemon trees.


I agree Saydrah's been acting like a bitch but Bill Hicks, that atheist, liberal, homo-loving cancer prick is even more of a cunt. Why the fuck would you bring such hate out on a petty matter like this?


Did you yell at him his words back? "Poop, now! Why aren't you pooping? Bad man! Bad!" (Gosh, what's wrong with me?)


It is called freedom of speech which is something we hold dear in the British National Party.


Approximating real world conditions. I know that I personally look forward to being out on the dance floor with this device on while getting repeatedly rebuffed and rejected.


Except as a photography, they are shitting on my art and making things look like shit. so you can stuff it buddy


The cop can simply catch the white car when it stop..

The black car doesn't do anything surprises me too..

Oh well this is Canada...perhaps this is the polite way.


If he was referring to economics, he was a wise man...

My comedic take on this would be "Okay, we won't dig the grave THAT deep..."


As defined by Urban Dictionary:

One who comes into your life, and screws it all up. This involves stealing your boyfriend/girlfriend, puppy, your friends, until they pretty much take over your entire life.


That's like cheating. That's

checkbox rape. She couldn't say

no if she wanted.


as someone who used an aimbot a while back, aimbots are a lot more fun than being told you have one

edit: yeah! downvotes!  That'll surely change what I did 10 years ago.  Downvote me now so that I'll never do it again!


You act like you've never masturbated in space before.


Oh dear... just noticed.

Enfoirer! Quebec est le pits! Toronto est le meilleur! Bleu, c'est pour les enfant! Boix qu'eque chose meilleur!


Are you expected to have a ready supply at all times?


And he never left the house again.

Warner Brothers wuz so sorry dey released new movies week earlier dan said from on. Dey whispered "I iz sorry I luv u" But he ded alredy

Lik dis if u cry evertim


Are you really that re... no, you know what, fuck it.

IT RHYMES WITH FIDDLER.


I don't conclude anything, but it's likely that the person with the sign would.

If all they did was pose for a picture, that is okay. But ridiculing someone because of their views doesn't seem right. If someone is racist and uses hate speech, fighting them the same way solves nothing and changes nothing.


He was supposedly framed and there's a possibly true really neat story about how he got the charges dropped

Also,, he's a fucking crazy man.


MOMMYYY I WANA WARE T SHIRT GAGA Goo GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOK AT FWATTY WEDDITORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It's okay, Thor.  You're still cooler than Ant Man!


It sounds fucked up for you, American faggot. I personally think it's kind of disgusting, but being from Europe I don't see any "sexual abuse" behind it. It's just a game, something people like you will never understand.


Jackie Chan said, "I never wanted to be the next Bruce Lee. I just wanted to be the first Jackie Chan."


Caught in a landslide,


Hah, I based that one on a *real* - allegedly - Yahoo Answers inquiry that I once saw.

My idea was [a little bit less cruel](http://i.imgur.com/DR9rJCE.jpg)... but not by much.


Oh, Well you mite think its creative since i removed the hotbar for health and hunger. I kept on watching that instead of monsters in caves.


Oh, you magnificent bastard.

I don't know if I could pull this off, but it entertains me.


The moment you realize it's [Under Pressure](http://imgur.com/gallery/Y1DB4)


Another man as they won't need them either


>Best day of my life so far....

Wow, that's depressing.


username confirms expert assessment.


What about gun manufacturers, especially handguns?


To be honest, that sounds like an incredibly smart business plan.


Mentally ill or just Chinese?


Yeah it's shitty. Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) lobbied for it years ago. The states can set whatever drinking age they want, but if it's below 21, they lose a shitload of highway/infrastructure funding from the federal government.


I used to be a rule 34 exception, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I decided its something I wanted to do three month before I got on a plane and flew out here. My Dad bought my plane ticket out here. I told my mother two weeks later, she cried but still loves me and calls me every week. My friends thinks its cool.


stop giving this scumbag the attention he desires. he obviously doesn't have a child. no child, no matter how stupid, thinks an electronic device is a type of food. sounds like the (hypothetical) kid is not being taught how to differentiate items very well if she throws around the word 'phone' all the time without ever being corrected...


But what do we say to death?


Nice how you automatically assume that the girlfriend ended the relationship after KristenWave came out...

Jesus Christ, I wasn't even trolling. The way I read it, that's what OP was implying. Jokes on the haters though, because they're the ones getting pissed off on the internet...

PS. Just wondering- why the throwaway?


not if you skip class to reddit.


I'm glad you checked your privilege there


I tried that but three cubicles down a new chinese guy is selling for 3 cents a cup. I just can't compete. I think I'll go to my employer, ask him to subsidize mine and outlaw the chinese one.


Well, it was kind of dumb to get the 16GB version. I don't even know why they sell that one.

Edit: if only they would let you use an SD card or something. The price difference in the different storage sizes is ridiculous.

Go ahead and downvote me. You just don't understand how bad it is to have a 16GB iPhone these days. OP agrees with me.


i came here looking for a scientific answer from a scientist but i got one from a bartender

im ok with that.


Do you want to see someone walking around in a Sonic costume because they bought it with their money? None of my business and none of yours. He can wear whatever the fuck he wants to wear. Stop forcing your bullshit down other people's throat.


Aesthetically they are, though


was her face made by a toilet? lol in all seriousness you are ugly i thought it was an ugly dude at first


>crossbow like gun

See: crossbow


Send her some cyanide pills to while you're at it, to finish the job.


Fucking glad I didn't grow up where you did


why do people still upvote this shit? op is faggot haha. op is a fag nigger. he's a nigger. he's a nigger faggot cunt, rape, nigger fag? fag fag nigger nigger faggot, faggot nigger cunt cunt nigger fag nigger cunt.

look at how clever i am haha!! i'm ironic and hilarious and i understand comedy and humor

fuck you


*The Ciiiiiiiiircle offfff Liiiiiiiiiiife...!*


outside of this brainwashed liberal cesspool, I would say most people don't believe in *man made* climate change.


1. I keep most of it in the business in order to grow it and hire more people.

2. Imgur takes most of my time these days, so nothing unfortunately. However, I'm on the board of directors for another Ohio University startup called [Flarecode](http://flarecode.com). I've been trying to help them out too.


Do I care?

[No](/spoiler)


You even have to remove your veil when entering *Saudi Arabia* (female border guards are available if you're uncomfortable having a man check you), so these women were just being assholes.


I bet she is a beast in the sack though...

OP, I don't mean to be blunt, but you have a hot sister and I want to bang her (-:

Her arms are a bit chubby around the elbows but I can overlook this flaw (-:

Edit: It seems nobody got my joke, lol *WHOOSH*


>Patriots kneel, game over.

Not before one of the most amusing timeouts in the history of the game.

"Uh, boss?"

"What's up?"

"I can't kneel here. This is our end zone."

"Shit. Fuck. Okay, time out. We gotta think about this."

And then a brawl.


TIL best episode was voted the best. TIL they ran out of rolls at the deli.  TIL there is ice on the roads this morning. TIL


Oh, thanks. Universe, you crazy.


What you said either has nothing to do with what I wrote (I never mentioned this seesion ID exploit, I don't even know if that's true). Also, ofc an authenticator protects you from getting hacked, EVEN if they got your acc information. Which fits perfectly with what I said, hackers could steal atleast some of blizzards database.


No, Hulk simply jumps into Mordor.


I think you meant to use the word "explicitly" not "expressly."


Stop reminding me how it's not on my face :(


Sarcastic or not, this comment is so chock full of ignorance it's depressing.


Where do i get that strain?


Gays can't have kids...


I'm not atheist. I'm anti-theist.

Now go and be the theists' lapdog.

When they start killing the atheists, don't come crying to me.


"I'm going sky diving this weekend, what are you guys doing?"

<silence>


Guarantee Valve will make this into an exclusive war, with high-profile games only being compatible with their product. They're not above using the console makers' tactics.


Formerly straight too. Let's gay.


What other alternatives are there for information gathering once you have a suspected terrorist captured?

I always read and hear that torture isn't the way to get credible information but there are never alternative solutions offered for information gathering.


I can't wait until 150 comes out. I'll finally know more of the back story. I barely understood 300. Lol there were so many characters. I was like "whaaat? lol"


Bin Laden did not cause 9/11


Kony 2012

E.: Stop giving me karma, don't wanna end up jerking it in streets of San Diego.


I consider the willful ingestion of carbs poisoning yourself.


"It's my late father's birthday"
"Oh, my consolations"
"What? He's not dead, he's just stuck in traffic. Again"


LmAo ArE YoU TryyiiiiiiiiiNg tO Be HiiiiiiiiLaRiiiiiiiiiOuS ?!??!?!?!!

**NiiiiiiiiCe TrY !!! #YoLo**


The boss should think you were in the right as well really. If you hadn't asked for payment you'd be letting the customer steal merchandise, which is way worse.


Maybe instead of sounding like a dick you could actually answer the questions.


I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW HIS BALLS AND DONG


you have a misunderstanding of reddit then. go message the reddit admins and get their view on it.


"Hello? Hi, it's Mark. Yeah I'm about ready for some more pancakes over here. Great see you in half an hour" <===== I would get so fat.

EDIT: Highest-scoring comment ever by over 1000? Um, ok...


That would be cool, but we don't really know, do we?

Besides, most of the time the comics don't even have the source link available like this one, I don't know if they're Dorkly's original content or if they're just too lazy to provide the source properly.


I am sitting here thinking that there isn't enough water to fight this thing...


**No iPad version, NO BUY!**
Stop supporting dead technology.


Let's... Let's just try it that way:

What's the name of a Batman's villain who likes riddles?

a) THE RIDDLER

b) answer a


**YOU SHOULD DELETE THIS THREAD BECAUSE ITS PRETTY CLEAR HOW UNPROFESSIONAL YOU ARE AND A&E WOULD FIRE YOU IF THEY SAW BUT MAYBE THEY SHOULD ANYWAY!**

**UPVOTE IF YOU AGREE WITH ME**


Today's youth... So wrapped up in their hippity hop to realize when the leader of the free world is walking right by.


Earn a scar, don't pay for a tat.


Biggest problem in the movie to me, the fact that Batman uses a bunch of unarmed police officers as a cannon fodder meat shield so he can walk up to Bane and punch him.


Wow, that's a really original joke.


Btw, that never stops until you hit like...death.


No, but the internet is the only place where you can get some attention. I bet you're ugly and fat and that's the way you deal with it.


upvote for the little lies we tell ourselves


I went to report you and then I read your name

What do I do?

Edit: lol 30 downvotes bitches!

Hey 20XX is definitely a meme at this point and definitely doesn't add anything to the conversation.  If you want I can find the post with winnarly stating all this, or you could just downvote.

Love how this is so far into the negatives though 10/10


Shit just looked it up [The family is estimated to be composed of 15,000 members, but the majority of the power and wealth is possessed by a group of only about 2,000.[2][3]](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Saud)

How does that even happen? That's not a family - that's a village!


You deserved that shot and you know it. You're so worried about policing up your thread so everyone will read *your* article with *your* username in it. Bitch, please.


I'm definitely doing dick butt


Dumb bitch just kept on goin without seeing a doctor!?


Over the top is the only way to go


speaking of usernames, my name-name is Kyle :D


wait, you can log out of reddit?


Yea a Brita really doesn't filter out anything good or bad for the most part. They justale the water taste better. Get an ever pure system if this happens often. It's a few humdred bucks but crystal clear water.


IN SOVIET RUSSIA WE MAKE ONION CRY.


banal like boring and anal like he doesn't stick good things in his ass like I do.  Not gay just going along with the metaphor.


If that's not his belt then he's just a barbarian.


I think you two should have a Kanon off. Both post proof that you're kanon... Then we can all say you both photoshopped it.


Son 1 owns Horse A and Son 2 owns Horse B. The one who owns the slowest horse gets the inheritance. After they switch horses, Son 1 is on Horse B and Son 2 is on Horse A, but each still owns the other horse. So now, racing at full speed, whichever son wins, the other son will have the faster horse, meaning the winner gets the inheritance.


Lol Pachuca will be fine, they still have 3 CCL titles to comfort them.


Except "DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH."


joe, this is your father.  I know you died two monthes ago in a car crash, but I just want to say that I love you.  and i also fuked your wife.  WaIt, who said that? Not me.  Where are we?


The marketing for that movie was pretty brilliant. The trailers make it look like some adrenaline fueled war movie and then it turned out to just be a bunch of bored kids fucking around in the desert. Just like how people think they're going to go be some big war hero and end up jacking off in the desert for eighteen months.


Disrespectful and inappropriate, but absurd? I'm not condoning this at all, but it can be hard to deal with grief of a loved one.

Edit: ouch. What I meant was that, while outrageous, I did not consider this selfish reaction not fathomable.


If you plan on testing pipnestella's No Coat, No Shoes outside somewhere in Antarctica, then no, you likely wont catch a cold. The target group for a rhinovirus is generally a living organism, so you would be in the clear.


You might think Israeli are ellecting only sons-of-bitches and blame them for that, but miss to understand that they are ellecting sons-of-bitches that, they know, have their best interests and safety in mind.

That's all all anti-Israeli motions ever goes down to: "How dare they defend themselves and their interests".


I was once scammed when I was 18 years old and lost every penny I had saved up, had it not been for a loan from my parents I would have been working a 9-5 at best buy right now.


Now, if you please.  Go kill yourself.  Your two digit IQ is not gonna contribute to this country at all.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgia_%28country%29


President Obama doesn't just randomly head into restaurants. They check out the place and make sure it's on the up and up. They probably knew the owner.


> but you have honestly done something so unique it had never been done before...

yes, because no one wanted to do it. there's a million billion things in the world you can do that no one has done before because they're ridiculously pointless


He just meant you were cold hearted and full of food, obviously.


I'm not allowed to have an opinion. Right. 'Course.


Any white American genuinely offended by the word "Cracker" is an asshole.


on the contrary, this just became an upvote train


He left his neopet in the back seat of his car.


Engineers have to be within 5% of calculations. It's not a fairly high gap for error


I will try to let you know if by some chance he finds it on the bus so you don't waste your time! Thanks again.


Downvoted you - saw username - didn't regret decision


He's the biggest possible spoiler. Within the first five to ten minutes of the show, he already figures out what illness the patient has.


We better ban glass then. Windshields are kinda reflective....


How else are you gonna get a date?


Then he wasn't being honest with himself. OSU is elite at a lot of thing, acedemics isn't one of them.

EDIT: show me one source that says OSU is an elite academic university.


You suck and you're book suck's too.

Edit: spelling errors.


Red Wings fans, so mature. I wonder what percentage of them on this thread are from Detroit?


Statistically racists believe what they want to believe.


That pun was a little

( •_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

stag-nant


He's actually right...you probably haven't been involved in any RTS communities.


I've been reading PostSecret since 2007 and I always think [this one](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwpmwlHWq91r8j60ao1_400.jpg) is pretty disturbing.


Of course he doesn't, he made it up.

EDIT: [Lol, people actually believe his story?](http://i.imgur.com/QM6HY.jpg) God damn some of you are gullible.


way to ruin the suspense.


>it was common for keyboards to not support pressing two or three keys at a time

**WAT**

Where the fuck you get that info from?

Before the 2000s, we had $200 IBM mechanical keyboards with NKRO


Wtf, people do this? That is very weird


lol why are u apologizing to a bunch of virgin neckbeards


Thanks, you are most intelligent.


It doesn't look childish


My first time was the best I'd ever had

Edit: Would like to clarify this isn't the only sex I have had...


She can't say that she didn't get her rights.

I wonder how she takes her lefts?


http://i.imgur.com/3jSzN.jpg

And boom goes the dynamite!


I used to be proud of my parents, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Shes probably just seeing whether they ended up better off than she did.  Everyone wants to be a winner.


Yeah. If I were dating a girl who didn't find Gene Wilder to be at least as cool as me if not way fucking cooler, I'd find that problematic.


I hope this gem made it into a national geographic for some poor 12 year old without internet.

I just made myself feel old....


HA!  Because they *knew* she was a lesbian all along!


So he was dumping her?


.ytrof dna ytriht neewteb spots eh teb I .puY


> using your phone camera to find you glasses.

You just changed my life


Haha, seems like someone got a call from a manager threating kicking him out of a team. Hopefully they will kick him anyways. Piece of shit


TIL Molly Ringwald is down to earth and incredibly cool.


Why is that interesting?  People made a ton of jokes about a picture of you... How many questions do you people have about that?


Honestly in grade school i used to get in trouble for bringing books to class and reading as well.


Like I would browse this shithole, you user mentioned me bud. Isn't that what you guys call "witch hunting"?

Did Alex Lifschitz break a GTA game disc in a painfully awkward presentation or not?


Toaster fucking, obviously.


I had to downvote you, that 22-0 looked really unbalanced.


Now every female redditor that gets a spa trip is going to be paranoid.

EDIT: My god. So much karma. This has literally doubled my comment karma.


hello kind sirs im from 9gag. would people be able to upvote this comment please? i used to troll so i got negative karma but ive changed now and i really want a fresh start so i can get lots of karma. thanks kind sirs! and pls upvote


"weed" HUHUHUHUhUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUH

Obligatory: Why is my top comment about Seth Rogens laugh?


Can't wait for the next wave of un-warranted auto-bans to flush out all the innocent people so we can all move on to a better game that doesn't ban people that spend half a grand on the ability to play the game.


The reverse subtle fuck.


you sir, are an idiot


arrow - but why can't i have both?


You HAVE to be twelve in Victoria to fuck someone thats 12 idiot...


*tears up*

 You mean all my karma MEANS NOTHING?!


If you think that's actual cooking then you are doing it wrong.


how is it that i was genuinely worried about your safety the whole time reading that? It never crossed my mind, "he's okay... he's here now writing about it."


Upvote for referencing a popular AskReddit post.


Not actually that great. I am a Nigerian Prince, and let me tell you it's very hard work writing so many emails in one day. On top of that, no one seems to want to help me transfer funds, no matter how many gillions of US dollars I offer them. Some are even quite rude about it, it's damaging to my fragile ego to be called so many different names. Would not recommend.


After reading your comment and seeing your username I'm just going to assume you're a pedophile.


And the Tetris theme is heard quietly in the background.


I keep a valve stem remover in my truck for dicks like you


May a thousand bears seed his women.


So maybe instead of watching dancing with the stars, the voice, american idol, jersey shore or anything on food network she should go to the gym?

My ex used to say she didn't have time to work out. Yet could always find the 2 hours it took to watch these shows. Once she outweighed me, it was over.


"The hood I understand... but why is he wearing the 'I'm with Stupid' T-shirt?"


americans make me sick. your entire city is being burned and all you can think about is your 15 minutes of fame on national news. stop watching television and start figuring out how you are going to rebuild your city.


I too was unemployed but I was in middle school


Now the people around me are looking at me funny. I suddenly burst out laughing &#3232;\_&#3232; Upvote to you sir.


Yes, I work in the Canadian office with the devs, but it's not the main office.


>make those 15 minute breaks cunt

FTFY


The answer to "do you know who I am" is generally "no."

If you have a good bellow and decent timing, however, the better option is to say "No, *what's your name?*"

And then when they start to respond, you roar "**IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS.**"


Can't say I've ever had a -250 but I always go down with the ship.

challenge: everyone downvote this comment.

edit: wheeeeeeeeeeee! neil degrasse tyson sucks and you guys are all stupid! so, HAH.


I was being sarcastic. I had a friend named Bearcat and I lied and said my name was Bobcat. Tom Kenny lied and said his name was Tomcat. 30 years later, they're called Barry and Tom. And I'm called Bobcat. so I guess the joke was on me.


Class hadn't even started yet. At least it was Queen.


Wha... are you... No.
One more time:

He's not here for a brawl, but for battle of minds.
He wants you to solve RIDDLES of all kinds.


wow such a terrible opinion, and executed in the dorkiest way possible


Wasn't asleep, was genius


Is it because arsenal doesn't buy shit(well I take that back. That's the only type of players Arsenal buys.) Are you a little jealous Chelsea does what is necessary to compete for trophies?


Same Love. Out of all the songs on our album, it addresses one of the most important issues in society right now.


Ladies and gentleman I giving you: karma seeking at its finest


Best. Compliments. Ever.


Those sure look like men, and they have a lack of boobs.  Odd, I was going to say that this race got less interesting when I had heard that.


>You have to fucking let it get close to you, lead it on, and then break away at the last minute.

TIL some girls I know would make excellent fighter pilots.


Seeing this as the top comment on every post is infinitely more annoying than reposts.

Five downvotes in less than a minute. And every other comment discouraging this one is also unreasonably downvoted. How peculiar.

I really don't care that I'm being downvoted, I care that this is obviously being bombarded by some childish clique who's citing everyone who opposes the top comment.


this is the best reply


Ok. As someone who doesn't live there it is all still just europe to me. What I really want to know is why someone would see ewoks followed by yub yub and think that EU would be real world place. This is a bad connection to make.


If you were 15, they would have come to very different conclusions.


Why would anyone who kills animals for fun care if something is maimed or starving?


You made him feel like the very best, like no-one ever was.


Are you serious? It was a poorly called game on both sides


Nice try, rape defence lawyer.


And then fucked her right in the pussy.


Even the word "epic" by itself is painful for me to listen to now.


/r/childfree is to not wanting children as /r/atheism is to civil discussion.

Don't go there if you're not militantly anti-children.


he's sitting in the garage

**edit**: oh my god. before I made this comment I had 101 comment karma. now I have 495. *i have said better things*.


Blah blah, next time, you should because it doesn't read like sarcasm. As for your "stupid" comment....


your manager is a goddamn genius


Maybe not, but your browsing habits *will* be logged, and *someone will* be interested in the details at some point. It seems to be a fact of the modern day: you generate the data and it *will* be used against you eventually.


So many sacrificed underwear.


Haha wow I saw reddit yesterday too!!


Colbert/Stewart 2016!


I love a happy ending :)


I got into a major car accident when driving home from the movie theatre after watching this, and I can honestly say, knee surgery and all, the car crash was not the worst thing that happened to me that day.


wtf are you talking about? are you high or something? fuck you.


A week too late, we're hammock men now.


Yes, it is.  Why did you even post something so stupid?


BOUGHT IT. DIDN'T READ LOL.


I'm no playa but I've slept with some very attractive women as a one night thing yet each person is different and sometimes I want to take things slower.

But yeah this guy is full of shit

edit: Hell even I've downvoted myself for this.


This reminded me of *Deep Thoughts* by Jack Handey.


bahahahaha becuz womins are bad drivers amirite?! bahahaha


Buying local. A true American hero.


"/r/politics froths at the mouth at thingprogess's command"

"Radical leftist hate speech follows absent any material event, or criticism follows"


Haha, that's better than complaining. I hope the manager didn't tell them what you actually said.


Yep, sure will have beaten Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot in the Worst Person stakes with their minor larceny and failure to return a ubiquitous consumer device and a few megabytes of data that should have been backed up.


Interestingly, the least safe bonfire I've ever been to was at a firefighter's house.


I used to think that that version was much better, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Spamming reddit with forced memes is just as bad.


I used to arm flailing... but then I tooka n arrow to the knee haha xD

**edit : wtf ?? y downvote cunts ??!?**


me too. tell her I said hi.


I used to think my testicles were dissolving into rainbows, and I was about to give birth to a unicorn like you, but then they took some marrow from my knee!


Damn, all my dog does is fart and snore, all day long.


Like a swan from the duckling, I have made your comment... *art*

http://i.imgur.com/7ZzTW.jpg

...Courtesy of the instant_reddart bot


The best way I try to explain that is, "I'd rather make love than fuck someone."

That and, "I have an emotional penis."


What is this supposed to prove?


What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.


ahh I sawww. Now I don't find the joke funny.


What is it the 1% of the time? liquid mole monsters.


That would be very convenient


Let's just keep it about Cloud Atlas.

Totally going to work out!


*just someone on a bit of a power-trip who doesn't know when to stop*

That's funny, I was thinking the same about you.


You can't pretend to be sleeping if you're fapping at the same time, that was your mistake.


she is? she looks like an average american.


I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it.


IRONY LEVELS.... TOO HIGH..... CRITICAL FAILURE..... APPROACHING.....


thought you were going to say something about your dick...


What are you getting at?  Because if you're getting at what I think you're getting at, you're a rather large douche.

edit: So OP was involved? Is that what your saying? Don't judge people, you asshole.


> Just ask us out.

Back at ya.


Fucking Pedo.  I hope they arrest you and throw away the key.


What about Kim Possible :(


Made me repeatedly breath inwards through my nose


You seem disappointed.


That is not the votes but the players "ID number" that you use for voting. "You idiot"


In sixth grade my friend called our female teacher grandpa. I shit you not.


Everyone should PM YellowKing like this:

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.


Rapists have to be punished somehow. And hey, at least then there would be motivation to do well in the class.


I used to spend my Friday nights going into wikipedia pages and adding wonderful info. For example, did you know Lincoln had a peg leg? Truth.

I like to believe, after the amount of times I added that when it got removed, that some eighth grader used that in a speech or paper.


Zere vil be no more "giggletimes" in mein classroom!


Ouch. So you're karma whoring a picture your dead wife on Reddit? I hope you won't get out a bulging photo album of dead wife pics for your date. Because that would be really fucking inappropriate and you come across as someone who hasn't moved on at all. Such a move will either end up freaking him or her out, or just ending a cheap and hollow sympathy fuck.


Can this please be our new term for having sex with someone and never talking to them again?


He added that story (which is a lie) later when he was questioned why he did not help the girl. He suicided himself because he felt guilty about leaving the girl to die.

He too was a vulture -- he only took what benefited him (in this case the photograph) and let the girl die.


The twist at the end made me laugh out loud in my living room.

But seriously. Good on you for being one of the people that keep us safe.


Now it's time to sell me that hammer since you are going to reroll Wizard/WD and actually play the game on a non OP char!


Lol fuck the gym then.


China would agree Obama blows?


Shitty level: title.


Check this out.

RICK SANTORUM ANAL LEAKAGE GOOEY SUBSTANCE LOL SO FUNNY


Unfortunately I keep getting kicked out of the museum before I can finish my testing.


This made me laugh :)

Edit: wow, just wanted to encourage the author haha :)


This is great advice for anyone, not just gay people.


Yes I understand that. However it is his fucket attitude I was referring to


Sheeeeeeeit, I would have demanded more than just one dollar.


They're from Texas...


The family starter pack


Really?

What about being tied down outside a massive predatory ant colony, and having honey spread all over you? Or having molten silver poured into your eyes and ears and then being dragged to your death behind a car?


And for GODS SAKE post this somewhere else than WTF. Everyone reading the title just assumes the man ate the house or had violent orgies in it!


Ehhh that sounds a bit too soft in my opinion. I think Riot deserve some dirt on their "miscalculation". A bit strongly worded title with disappointing is not exactly that bad.


Great dad up in here!


It is just beautiful. I think they should also include powerful laser lights on top of the buildings beaming to sky, then reflecting back by satellite mirrors to Pakistan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Pale's and other Muslim shitty countries. Fuck sand niggers, fuck Iranians.


I SEE WORDS BUT NO CONTENT


The following message was brought to you by: Captain Obvious.


My guess is they did something offensive, like make a sexual or racist comment to the waiter. VYou generally don't refuse to serve a whole section because they placed an annoying food order.


It is.

But fighting fire with fire doesn't work.


For me it sucks because it's my only comfort. My mind is a neverending merry-go-round of my own bullshit insecurities and excuses to never get my shit straight. It's feeling of emptiness. I feel lonely as fuck and unloved and filled with self hatred. That's not the worst though; it's being forgotten by someone you could never forget.


How is this punk? You know, punk didn't invent the concept of doing things that deviate from the norm. You wouldn't be saying this if heshe wasn't already in a punk band (which is arguable at this point).


But... how do you work?


Girls get away with just as much shit because of their youth. We just don't have a proverb for it, because as a culture we assume girls are more innocent and boys more mischievous.


You think people would be happy to just to get their meal paid for.


I used to have a sweet ass, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


That's what I came here to say. If your housemate is resorting to this, then maybe people should stop stealing his shit.


> Didn't read the article.

Yes, I did read the article. I wanted to make my comment anyway. *The headline made the point.* Don't tell me that I didn't read your damn article.


Those stories and pictures of parents who get their kid's last drawings tattooed on them bring on the water works every time.


With the MMR inflation 5k currently is way worse than 4.8 was 5 months ago, just saying.


Louis CK is 100% funny.  Carlos is 0% funny.


That wasn't what this was about fuck face


Canada prepares us for this kind of bullshit, by teaching people to always look both ways.


You get the same thing listening to left wing radio, if you aren't biased.

Edit: Wow, you guys really don't like hearing the truth, do you? Sucks when you get called on your biased bullshit, doesn't it?


We sit awkwardly in the corner together.


wait, you couldn't search for channels before? hahaha the iPhone is sooooo far behind android it's not even funny


Flowers are pretty
Clovers bring luck
Ayy bb
u wan sum fuk?

edit: Eh you, thanks for the gold.


I used to be generated by an automated bot, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


This works best if you are a straight guy.


Spirit is a money whore, he doesn't care about winning worlds. He went to China for a reason you know..


This is beyond touching.


obviously u fucking idiot, they don't allow many people into North Korea along with a host of other cues that that tell any non-piece of shit this is taken in South Korea


As someone who isn't a UK resident but has been in the UK, the main difference between this and most UK cities on a winter Saturday night is that the girls in Romania are attractive.


I didn't watch it, but no, it wasn't. Because it's Cy&H.


Mine are!?!

WTF, aren't everyone's like that? Oh no...


Holy shit you read my mind! lol
Edit: the young black males that drive these cars will fuck up your property values in a hurry = 1000 up votes. I agree = -40  lol


LOL.  Martin Sheen getting snarky.


I knew the difference between my mom's age and my grandma's age in kindergarten. Kindergarteners aren't all 'special' like you were.

*jeez guys I'm just kiddin' lol


A man's gotta be the little spoon once in a while.
It makes me feel precious. :<


On this board I hear people consistently say that Rodgers is a better QB than Wilson (I disagree with this sentiment, but that's another story..), but it begs the question: how can he be elite if he is making *at least* half of the bone-headed playcalls?


What are you, antisocial???


It wasn't a joke. Holy fucking shit, I tell you right in the fucking post YOU linked to why I did it and you just can't get it through your thick skull. No, it wasn't for karma. No, it wasn't a joke.


I was too until I saw the Tim Horton's cup and realized Canadians were too polite to do such a thing.


*I

Why did you tell us this? No one cares about your personal stories! Why didn't you SR? And legends respawn in the newer games!


"If you are calling from a touch tone phone..."


If you can explain to me how the Koch brothers will make money off of restricting PUBLIC unions rights to collectively bargain, I would LOVE to hear it!


"Sir, this is McDonald's.  We have neither of those options."


'cum on what'

FTFY


Reddit loves you a lot by the way.


Does it matter?

OP is gross as fuck.


So why do we need the big media companies to do this for us?  Let's build a computer system that plays back the debate video stream and overlays fact checks just as you speak. Post it on social networks and reddit and YouTube and pirate bay.

No need for the gatekeepers of thought. We can do this ourselves. We are they.


Hi, I'm Chris Hansen. Please, have a seat. They're underage.


Maybe his crippling addiction to soap is killing him.


We hate Chief Queef. But we sure af love sosa. Oh and baking soda.


I think we have our winner.. holy fuck


that doesn't make it okay. i felt violated just reading it.

edit: fuq u


She showed up to our Props Cast rehearsal on Monday and said hi. That's the closest any of us got to meeting her. She seemed nice, bubbly personality. Also she has the cutest damn dog, it looks like a teddy bear.


Well a lot of it is made up.


Brainwashed north koreans = stupid teenagers


Very mature, and might I also say, quite the addition to the thread.

I see a lot of people here capable of hitting a downvote, but incapable of actually answering the hard questions. Guess its easier to run away from the truth, than it is to ring someone up while theyre on the phone.


As a male elementary teacher, I am familiar with this memo you speak of.


So it's about ethics in horological journalism?

e: y'all need to lighten up.

e2: fuck it were ridin the downvote train all the way to the bottom! Choo choo motherfuckers!


Little does he know, he's already hanging out with a bunch of immature kids.


The guilt is strong with this one


Here is one I took at work a few years back.

http://youtu.be/GfCDsMA1JuI


That's very kind of you to take my well researched post offering legal advice and karmawhore it by replying and saying THIS NEEDS TO BE EMPHASIZED.  Bitch if I needed help emphasizing I would've used bold or italics.


And all their wifi hotspots can be called...G-Spot!

Edit- Actually, never mind, no one would ever be able to find them...


Yeah, I get it. Not very funny.


>but I didn't pause to consider the impact it would have on you.

I can hear her standing behind him looking over his shoulder as he wrote that.


holy shit, I should go for lowest comment. downvoted my self. should add a bit more to it too I suppose, to ensure my victory


Well, according to Xzibit's theory of General Relativity.


Shut the fuck up

Fuck this sub.


One of my international student loses it every time he hears "okie dokie'. He doesn't get it, finds it hilarious!


>like performance

You're like those morons who complain about Vista still.  If you have modern hardware you can run the game properly.


In my defense, there was a lot of suggestive texting. She lured me in. My wiener took control.


**Attention whore. Have some modesty. Those live action things suck**


It's probably not a rejection but a quota pile.


I'm sorry I thought the term was "pilot". Animal cruelty is not my first language.


Well that's just, like, a pinion, man.


Are you daft?  I'm responding to the "an apartment converted into a garage" comment/picture that was posted.


Guinness. Founders All Day IPA. Porterhouse Red Ale.
Jameson. Powers. Bushmills.


Idk but at least I don't repeat stale sayings like "this" or "/thread" in reply to actual witty or good comments in the hope of getting residual trickle down internet points


I love how pathetic this one is.


Why did you have to reply to me, there was no need at all man! it is already implied that i don't care, so why even waste your time you autistic fuck!


Did you point out that niacin has a similar spelling to cyanide, which is in poision?


Stop you idiot. This doesn't give more info, it just gives the same link and the same information. You aren't helping or contributing.


*I am not Brad Pitt.  AMA.*


Nope, those guys are the big boys on the team.  He has no right to yell at anyone.


Him: "Honey we have to go get mouthbabies, he's stuck on the side of the road again."

Her: "But, but the baby..."

Him: "MOUTHBABIES IS MORE IMPORTANT"

Her: "...alright."


It is not their fault that their genetics make them fat.


Yea we were, the guy who said that was shot in the face in the middle of the street.


Wow, I'm guessing you are a virgin.

This is incredibly sad.


> The Bachelor

Welcome to motherhood Mila.


Except I actually offered helpful advice to the OP instead of... this.


Who the fuck kids make fun of someone for being the "cancer kid". I hope they get cancer.


Just throwin this out there, I no longer read comments by people without flair.


I just peed a little.


No, art is what it was before you sucked the life out of it. It's like taking an impressionist painting and redoing it because it "didn't look realistic enough."


ノ( º _ ºノ) It wasn't me I swear.


Are you telling me the AU has better gardeners than the US? Some may be offended by that.


HEY! (S)HE SAID NON-SEXUAL

GET OUT OF HERE


Haha that's awesome. I have only really started to use Reddit in the last three days so I did see that. My apologizes.


When people first saw the video they thought it was good. Then the Cracks Began To Show.


Way to ruin the joke moron. I wanted as1986 to reply.

Edit - OK fine neck beards, fockjouholmes can join in on the threesome.


Sounds like the father really came into his own.


Why? Why is it fucked to to NOT want to pay taxes? Do governments deserve or are entitled to other people's money?


Maybe, but the penis is always willing to let bygones be bygones.


THIS IS SO LE FUNNY. THIS MAN NEEDS LE MORE LE UPVOTES
I'M SO GOING TO LE HELL FOR LAUGHING


If it comes up, like, if you're wealthy, leaving $1,000 to each kid will make it a lot more difficult to invalidate.  Leave them nothing and they can create a lot of doubt and questions.


I used to think this was the best trap, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


I think many redditors can relate to this.


> What hits more home in my opinion is that that article could have been written ~~during Classic~~ whenever (with minor alterations) and it would still be accurate.


Came here to say exactly this. The sexism on this website is astounding. The racism is too.
**EDIT:** Since posting this I've already been called a bitch, told to make someone a sandwich, and called a racial pejorative, which doesn't even make sense because I'm white. Anyway, thanks for proving my point trolls.


Well to be fair, LoL is based off a blizzard game.


False. There's 28 of them.

(Holy shit I need to bleach myself after this thread is over)


That's what down-votes are for.


Will give away the pretzel's, if they give us back the crispy M&M's.


I don't think that's what poes law is...


The direction they're digging.


Oh youth, you are so wasted on the young.

Grow up fella


How did that go for you?


I agree.  This sub-reddit is being overrun by retards.


> I'm not sure where else people meet women

Spoken like a true /b/tard.


I'm sorry are you a lawyer?


People like your ex make me shake my head angrily  at humanity, but people like her family make me smile and give me hope. Good on them and good on you for recovering from this!


I am so glad someone took the bullet for asking this rather than me. But yeah, I too am interested. Fuck downvoting PC gaming dicksniffers.


Also, I am always very very careful in the cleanroom, especially around any "alien technology".


How is that a woosh? There was no joke to get...I mean, the good news in this scenario is that he has no cards, so if you somehow can clear it quickly you're ahead. The bad news is that it's unlikely you're going to clear it.

If that's what qualifies as a joke on this sub, then your humor sensors are all broken, and I'll eat my downvotes like a man.


30 Rock even made a reference to this years ago but barely anyone caught on.


Hey, go fuck yourself. You're argument is invalid because you forgot the apostrophe in "couldn't".


> oops, wrong thread

What the fuck thread were you trying to post to???


CLG NA is not a top NA team

Curse, TSM , Dig, Orb, MME all better


This really ought to be the top comment.


He's capable of beating the Legion of Boom as well... only for 2 quarters, though :)


Transparent purple is where it's at, you should know this!


her negating the rape and murder of millions of people is ok.   Yeah, I am an asshole,  God is awesome because he let her not be raped and murdered while he let it happened to literally millions of people.   RAPE.  MURDER.   Rape and murder, to millions of people.  Again, RAPE and MURDER. to MILLIONS of PEOPLE.  but god said it was ok so yu don't have to care.


I don't understand why she has to wear his underwear...


I don't know how you were brought up but if you feel it's ok to cheat then you're definitely American. this is why the world hates you and why these game companies have such stupid DRMs.
I bet you pirate games too.
parasite.


No joke. The more pictures I saw, the more I realised how boring my life is. I want to be with you.. All of you.


Get this.....Kim Jonh-nam must love Disney so much because he named one of his sons Kim Han-so.  Han-so......just need lo and youre set.  I sure hope its pure coincedence.


"Oh man, she likes taking naked photos. This means we finally have a chance to be happy together."


This is the best comment. BY FAR. Why isn't this at the top? WAKE UP PEOPLE.


I high-fived my monitor.


You give quite an impression yourself.

Have my downvote. :)

edit:
I'd probably been better off ignoring this bullshit topic completely, but that comment looked like it came straight out of some high school teenager girl, and it provoked me enough to reply.

Bring on the downvotes, girls, but remember to tousle those feathers.


My sister and her partner have agreed to not have kids and have to suffer through this shit all the time.
"Do you want kids?"
"Nope."
"Awww, just wait, you'll want them in a couple of years."


But I'm the one who posted the content in the first place. I should be able to say whatever I want, so long as I'm not trolling or being a douche. Besides, I've been up-voted for being polite in other posts and my grammar is correct.


...that cannot be blinded with a strand of dental floss


Thanks for the second paragraph, exactly the response I asked for. To the first - because this isn't kiddie time where we sit around the T.V. and lick Barney the dinosaur's fucking pussy. Since when does wanting to do well mean you have to slash your classmates' tires?


I used to really enjoy that sub until it defaulted and turned into /r/menhaveitworse


No this is the result of someone with a mental illness that was simply set off.


Seriously. CVs are boring, unless you do [what this guy did.](http://i.imgur.com/cQ2YwoY.jpg) Everyone sends a CV, smart people provide delicious food bribes.

^^^results ^^^may ^^^vary ^^^by ^^^company.


Preppy look still sucks in college (this is all personal opinion), you just look like a frat boy.


Free drinks, $20 bathrooms.


Upon realizing your sister is in her early 20s your story becomes a lot less cute and a lot more who the fuck cares.


Socially Awkward Pedophile


>US 13-YEAR-OLD ADULTS

Awww.   *-pats you on the head-*


Got removed last time.


They're not letting you into their boys club just because you soothe their own insecurities about their penis size. Lay off the special snowflakery especially if it includes demeaning other women.


He single handedly made many people download an add-on to disable his comments. A true legend.


>~~Running collection of morons posting screenshots of the Error 503 page~~ **HELLO IM DA OP AN I TAKE PICTEURS OF DA WEDDIT CAWSE I NO HAS DA GIRLFWIEND CAWSE IM A FATTIE VIRGIN!!!!!!**

FTFY OP GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


mine isn't moving... how do I reset her?


Hearing noises is not a good sign. I strongly encourage you to visit a physician and have them refer you to a mental health professional.

/r/schizophrenia

/r/mentalhealth

/r/SuicideWatch

Stay safe and take care


>wow gg anne frank. genuinely stumped.


That's to be expected on a heroic difficulty kill.


I vote JewishSombrero now gives the throwaway to swaggmaster69.


I had lurked, for almost all my junior year, Reddit pretty much saved the boredom of school all year!


There's a suspicion that he was imprisoned for unrelated crimes which is why they never found out who it was and why the murders stopped.


i think it actually can be, because Riot Games are USA and in USA there is a fked up law where TV shows can't be live anymore, but need a little delay. (i think its because that nipple thing with Timberland and Jackson) It could be that riot has a small delay, but i don't think they cut the video here because if they would have at least took it out properly. sry mi no speek englando


YouTube before ads... I had almost forgotten...

***EDIT: YES I KNOW ABOUT ADBLOCK NOW THANK YOU***


Do you think Diablo 2 was the original game or something? Are you that fucking retarded?

Moreover, the cow level was a totally optional level in the game that was also a secret.

If you can't tell the difference, then I feel sorry for your parents. It must have been hard raising a mentally retarded child.


I dated a girl who was a nude figure for art classes, she loved it, they kept the room really warm and she'd hold a pose and nap.


Or was it......random?

WE MAY NEVER KNOW BECAUSE THE CIA WILL NEVER RELEASE THE TRUTH!


I went to a gifted/talented training course today and the instructor mentioned that gifted students are often fascinated or very preoccupied with death. She mentioned, also, that gifted students have a much higher suicide rate than any other demographic.


Is liking "tzain" a european thing? I mean i find it hard to believe this kid even knows what to do with a women and probly never will. They dont put 3 buttons a polo shirt so you can do them all up.


"I like waking up to the smell of bacon- sue me- and since I don''t have a butler, I have to do it myself."


...that somehow makes him look like a douche.


Did they actually print his name on it? Was it like a small commemorating plaque?


Did anyone else only open this cause the thumbnail looks like Tina Fey?

Edit: Yikes, I guess not.


In 1885 I noticed that certain saloon performers would sing or perform the same songs at different tempos in different saloons.  I borrowed a metronome form my friend Emmet, and brought it to different saloons, marking down the different performance tempos of the same songs with my dip pen.  But everyone in town said Mr Eastwood, you're crazy nobody cares


I reported it to youtube, I don't want my kids seeing this. Material like this doesn't belong on youtube.


Hahahaha.

"Dude, I fucked your wife while you were fucking her."

"Dude, shut the fuck up."


your dick is like .00000000000000000000000000001% of your body


I feel like school never really prepared me for the real world, or what it is to be human.


Haha, I'm joking, relaaaax, breathe.


I like to think that when people saw it they just lost interest in the movie and started questioning their lives.

Willem Dafoe's penis: a life changing experience.


Someone clearly likes shitting on people when they're vulnerable.

Your submission history would make me think you would be more understanding, but I guess not!


"Hello, officer?  Yes, this is dog. I played dead. My owners believed."


I fucking *hate* that a thread that could be so insightful has this puerile bullshit as the top voted comment.

Take a look at yourself, IAMA.  Why would anyone interesting answer questions here if you're just going to make stupid comments that aren't even real questions?  Please keep that shit to the teenage subreddits, like f7 or pics.


They do the same with screenwriters. Sometimes it's just to get a known name attached to the movie...


lol look at those retarded arab fucks


There are 800 comments in here. Give me a chance :3


I know what it means, but where I love, we use it for making out too


I say we hold a Muhammad drawing contest in their name.

Edit: Well that got real fast. Should it be a subreddit? I could program up a site to do it?


Liberal media bullshit. Ignore this. Thinkprogress is the worst fucking offender.


It's not gay. He's just one hard body checking out other hard bodies.


I hope your kids die tomorrow.


I like your story as it has a nice ending and you made some friends for the day. :-)


as soon as i saw this, i left


That note definitely showed that he was an adult.


Edited due to peer pressure. :(


My sheep lives!! http://i.imgur.com/dOSgy.png


Really?

It's a great goal, but it only came about because the defending was so atrocious.


Yeah, just don't check your emails the next 90 days.


No offense but probably because she has deadbeat inconsiderate house guests over at all hours.


All those poor Seamen!


Thats Jay U the great great grandfather of Jay Z.

Edit: My first gold thank you :)


Because he has a different opinion than you?  For shame!


That changes *everything*....


Why should we promote his toxicity and low quality content on this subreddit then? There's way less annoying/toxic streamers out there that could be on the frontpage instead.


You know, I was feeling rather lukewarm about Obama for a variety of reasons, but this was a gutsy move on his part. So yeah.


sorry but he doesnt exist.

next question!


Yeah?  Try it with a birthday nearly 9 months after Christmas and see how you feel then!

Fortunately, I'm adopted, so I have no evidence the people I know as my parents ever had sex.


Damn you got there first !


I'm just imagining your bookshelf with thirty different sized copies of The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants and you parents are like, damn, that must be a really great book.


Reddit is about constructed narratives shoved down or throats and it will remain so until the delete comment  function is replaced with a force collapse comment function.

Moderators see themselves as benevolent dictator/garbage men whose judgement is both infallible and final.


I'd be naked holding out my hand impatiently before you had unlatched it.


Nope, it doesn't matter because we respect each other's cones.  If someone is moving a cone they aren't from around here so people aren't exactly going to chime up to defend them.  If you're from fishtown, you understand the cone/chair system.  That's the way it is here, likely the way it will always be.


If you buy 3 lottery tickets, you have a 150% chance of winning.


Oh, a window is easier to break when it's open? No fucking shit dude, for real?


Our cat growing up was named Frisky, because that's what happens when you let a six-year old name a cat. When she was about 12, my dad decided that since she didn't know her name anyway, he was just going to start calling her Phil.

It stuck, and she was Phil for the next eight years.


I don't consider virtual console *real* 3DS emulation though.

Until it can run Smash, Kid Icarus, or Xenoblade 3D, I refuse to consider Citra a real 3DS emulator.


Michigan

Edit: Cheers Mate. First Gold :D


No it's Bradley, mutilating your junk doesn't make you a woman.


This. Geese are mother fuckers


The OP clearly states it's his *daughter*.

Don't be so dramatic.


Your dad's response was not the one I was expecting.

'Gosh darn people trying to take my kids, so inconsiderate!'


insecure = has small dick, low self esteem = has small dick, no girlfriend = has small dick, loner = likes to play with small dick. also he's a cat fag so no wonder


All your base are belong to us, women.


ERMAHGERD, FERK YERU AURSE HERLE


Videotaping this crime spree is the best idea we've ever had.


propaganda is srs bsns


Thank goodness I watched it 2 days ago or else i'd be lost


You never been to da hood then boi


That bitch is lucky she didn't get arrested too.  There's no way she thought checks for $1500 *per month* written to the company were a bonus for her.


Am I the only person who understood the (maybe) Dead Island reference?


Wow, dude, you don't trust him just because he's black?


yeah, that sounds about right for a fucking lawyer. "sure, i'll hear your side of it, but youre still guilty because my salary says so."


An empty house is the most relaxing thing ever


Everybody wins EXCEPT fans of Reigns. Which is a pile of fucking shit if you ask me.


And Jesus Christ the connections you would make as a 12 year old genius.


Can't deny that Onepunch Man makes gifs a lot.


Who would've guessed that a trailer with a cliffhanger rather than a full-blown synopsis that's going through the major plot twists would actually result in more movie tickets being sold?


Yeah because you live in an economically viable, and important region of America, instead of a shit hole flyover state that sucks more federal money than it pays every year from the states that are actual net producers of wealth and prosperity.

yeah lay on the downvotes you fucks.

It's the truth.


Yeah its structured exactly like an AS bump. I love AS, especially their bumps, which is why I was so put off by that Sprint commecial. You'd think they would be able to come up with something original.

Edit: [the commercial.](http://youtu.be/UwH637_2Goo)


Because it leaves the text One-eyed Cheat Salty Dog in the cards, and if you take the main focus of the eye which is the rare card with the rogue colour, you'll read it from left to right like that, and if you overwrite the text with One-eyed-dog you're left with Cheat-Salty.

Noice.


Because hating the French is socially acceptable in every country in the world including France.


> Corruption of innocence and all.

That's an awfully negative view to have of sex.


Work smarter, not harder.


American police, serving the public one brutality case at a time.


Neither of you came to make that decision.


If I were you I would be careful whenever there is any conversation about going out -- if asked what you think about an expensive place, reply "boy, that sounds great, I'd never feel I could afford it myself; if you were to treat us, we'd be very grateful" -- not "sounds great!"


This entire thread is filled with people who have absolutely outlandish wishes, and then there's you, who just wants her house cleaned.

Dream big!


So this isn't an AMA it's an "ask me some things".


Yes. Another way I really dig looking at it is that when a photon is emitted from its source, it instantly arrives at its destination. Even if it took it 13 billion years to do so.


Probably not seeing as that "profession" is still fairly quakish.

edit: I leave for a few minutes to make a sardine and ketchup sandwich and manage to get -50 karma for stating psychologist may not be legit. Wow.


However, it does mean that the company that produces the Clif Bars is probably not to blame.


Your grandfather is DISGUSTING and UNTRUSTABLE as a human. I hope he's found Jesus, because it might be too late. :)


Thankfully she was helping.


Fuck off.

*It's a joke. Jesus. American's can't take a fucking joke.


I molested myself a lot as a kid. I said "no", but I knew I wanted it.


Sorry to hijack this thread but am I the only one that thinks epicschwinn is full of shit?

Edit: child comment lied about spelling edit.


I personally really enjoyed the episode where Desmond keeps flipping between past and present. That episode was definitely my favorite depiction of time travel in any movie or book.


Yet he'll still win *no* single state. Gee, dont wanna burst any bubbles here, but it is what it is! *Sorry* to remind you guys!


It would probably also make her a bit stupid for writing her own character as an inane, irritating being.


Pretty sure it's sarcasm. Not sure why that's so depressing to you. Don't be so emotionally fragile.


Well they would buy us spoons for our "collection", and after a few years we asked if they wanted us to keep the collections at their house (we live right next to each other). I've bought a few spoons from other countries to add to the collection, which is pretty much theirs now. We basically re-gifted their own gift lol


OMG ENTS WE HAVE ENEMIES DERP

LE LE LE LE LE ORC


> TIL People still don't understand waiters' wages **in the US**.

FTFY


I'm not an Apple employee, but I hate Windows users. Too many of them think they know how to use computers.


I don't understand?  THere's awards for this shit... Cause i'm a WINNER!  I'M GONNA WIN THIS THING!!!

Please tell me I get a trophy... how do I get a trophy?  Or a plaque?  Can I get a plaque??

I will totally get naked for reals if I can win something cool.  For reals guys.


I was being facetious, but thanks for going back in my post history to make your judgement call.

I'm not blind, and I'm not stupid.  I'm well aware that there are extremely beautiful, terribly ugly, and lots of spaces in between.

I just happen to be on the extreme end of the ugly scale.  That doesn't make Maggie Gyllenhaal any prettier.


Dead because of a Jell-O overdose.


;-)

Semester's not done yet, I have exams tomorrow and Tuesday... off to study!

Keep it white n' nerdy.


But is is *his* shack.


The Asperger's is strong in this one.


"Quickly now, Pee on my leg and he wont suspect a thing!!"


Then SHE was the awkward seal, not you.


My best guess is:

"My heart is forever at home."


I'll be the judge of that and only when she posts nudes with her legs spread behind her head with a nice fat pussy wide open for plowing. Then she will be in the running. Right now lets not exaggerate and say an impromptu game of nerf will get my attention.


Mine is, "I'll fuck you until you love me, faggot"


You said bloody so I'm assuming you're British. For everyone else in the rest of the world it was just odd and fucking abysmal.


If not at night, then certainly in the morning.


Women have rights too you assholes. We can make our own descisions without permission you jerks.


Or the ones that illustrate the poster's complete lack of familiarity with female anatomy.

*"What's that big bump on top of your vagina?"*


But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. (Matthew 5:39 NIV)


"Snickers. Because you dont have nothin else."


I brought the donuts!


This story was only mildly interesting until I came upon the word 'skirt'.


All I'm saying in this thread is that the modern KKK is a different organization than the old Civil War era KKK. I don't know why everyone is losing their minds. You can look this up.


Just looked at me and smiled.  She knew I was just messing with him.


I dunno what your definition of "needs to lose weight" is, but he was fine as long as he was happy. Which he was...

Not everyone needs to be thin to be healthy that's not the way bodies work.

Edit: wow, funny thing is I just got back from gym class...

I'm not overweight by any means, and I'm on two Varaity teams.

I think the issue here is your own prejudice. Not me.


Puppy adorable... but in a non-beastiality kind of way.


I'm sorry, but I'm not ready to throw away a relationship that could be fine all because I was suspicious.


The reason we now use arabic numerals.


LmAo HoLy ShiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AdBlock plus always use protection


yes. if you like 16 or 17 year old girls you are a pedophile and should be locked away.


only *some* are harmful to humans, don't be a pussy, eat it.


I used to call this a failure, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I do, but I just REALLY love rain.


Im sure there are better words to use than B####. Also maybe not advocating for violence would be best.


I liked Happy.... the first 67 times I heard it.


Who is doing this madness?!


There's your fistfight


This is what texture packs are for...

e: I'd like to thank the academy for making this my most downvoted comment ever. Special thanks to the ever-mature kids of the reddit minecraft community.


Is mayonnaise an instrument?


who the fuck pissed in your Corn Flakes?


> I'm sure that's gonna piss some people off. :)

Not in these here parts.


No, I'm just always shocked at 4chan.


Suddenly, Jay Z has 100 problems


No. No it's not. Its fucking stupid.


one of those suction tubes like at the bank drive-thru.


Simple oversight. Calm down, lady.


you can get turned on by other girls but you should only ever do things with your wife.


I realize you're probably trolling me right now and I am just playing in to your hands by being angry, but seriously. Fuck you. How dare you do this even as a joke. It not only diminishes the realities of how tough it is to be trans, but diminishes the real intricacies of intersectionality. You are doing a bad thing and you should feel bad.


You probably made her day with that.


Signed in specifically to upvote.


I bet you just can't wait for monday, drew


He was also likely well aware, after examining the animal, that it carried a radio collar and that its death would be thoroughly investigated.  It is very unlikely he could have gotten away with it.


Always believe in yourself. Trust me, miracles do happen.


Sexual assault isn't rape.


Well you know what they say: "Women can fake an orgasm, but men can fake an entire relationship. Goodbye"

Edit: Thank you kind stranger of the Reddits for gilding me.


haha your fiancee is fat

you can downvote the truth, but it's still going to be the truth.


This is worse than I thought.


Ah, I see you use Reddit too.


Yeah, his dick must be exhausted ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


No you dumbass this aint about any game, he's talking about catching weird bugs with his bug catcher.


haha that made me laugh.


My moral compass is like Captain Jack's compass.
Only points towards things I want.


HI WEDDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DA FATTIE MONSTAS SHUDN'T HAVE BABBY CAWSE DEY WILL ATE DEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yes, he's awaiting trial.

None. He did these things while I was asleep or at work.

Absolutely.


Didn't he just tell us that the reason Dems lost is because he wasn't doing his job. He needs to get his priorities in order and stop being such an arrogant little whiny bitch just like all the Dems that just got shit canned.

Paul-Paul 2012!!!!


In the AMA we should avoid any and all convo about her doing porn and just ask her a shit ton about History. Make it seem like we had no idea she was a porn star.


Maybe not, period blood and normal blood are two different levels. On one level we have normal blood which is nothing special kind of whatever. But on the other level we have period blood, the nastiest, vilest, most fucking foul smelling liquid my nostrils have ever breathed in.


She lives in a giant log cabin. [Here's a picture when it snowed last year.](http://i.imgur.com/Fu9FZ.jpg)

Also hijacking top comment to say I never expected this thread to go [this far](http://i.imgur.com/8DE8J.gif)

Http://dream-invent.tumbler.com if anyone wants to follow her on tumblr.


Why would you use "Mr." or "sir" in this situation?  What is this, 4chan 5 years ago?


>dead

>corpses


Muslims in germany deal with humor because they know what the germans will do to them otherwise.

Muslims know they can kick a frenchman in the head and get away with it. Kick a german in the head and the germans would restart the death camps.


well calcium IS important...


Any customer who expects you to "attend" to them is going to be unhappy unless you kiss their ass, and was probably not worth the tip to deal with.


You work with stupid people.


£100million free kick taker this season.


> early blast off

Him: "We have blast off in T minus Ten seconds. Nine. Eight."

Her: "Uhh what? Why are you counting?"

Him: "Seven. Six. Fffffffuunnnghh."

Her: "What the fuck?"

Him: "Sorry about that. Just an early blast off. Ok, I'm gonna go down on you now.. present your clitoris."


Good fucking luck. Private property. IF you can get a cop to even go into your yard to survey the damage consider yourself lucky. This doesn't address the issue of the house for sale. Potentially it will hold up the sale. This looks likes some small claims stuff of which it will be very very hard to collect. Sorry, I've been down this path before.


it really crushed the dog


<spoiler alert> Dumbledore kills WTC! </spoiler alert>

Now *that's* a sick joke.. also, downvotes never killed anyone.


I bet the people who designed the elevator door did not have this situation in mind.