"With the way she sees and the way he looks, they're a perfect match!"


Redditors at the top of their chain. One gets upvotes by pointing out someone riding the coattails of someone else and the other gets upvotes thoughtlessly repeating a comment chain.


I am the Gatekeeper. Are you the Keymaster?


Never Smuggle Feces-Limes


"Everybody line up, applepasta touched his dick again!"


Then you respond with "like when I think about your mom and then she cums over? OR YOUR DAD!!"

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH


No, balance isn't required. and im many cases, its not even present. Are we playing the same counterstrike?


And the milk in the pantry.

edit:  I am genuinely embarrassed by how many upvotes this comment is getting.  Stop it.


You mean the ones who didnt even bother to comment? Reddit's voting system is broken and easily gamed.


That needs to be in a movie or some shit that is fucking great.


Ah yes only one answer for this, how did I not realize.


Actually, just the opposite; most prison cells have phones in them. All calls are monitored, though. In some prisons, phone calls are a privilege and can be taken away. In a few others there are no phones at all.

By law, all prisoners can contact their attorney.


She's gross.

Edit: Holy downvotes! Am I wrong? Look at her! LOOK AT HER!!!


I mean, yeah. Mexican cartels are scary as hell.


Vekydo was never wrong. Wolves is plural, which means more than one.
Two wolves were seen. He could have meant three, but all we know is that he meant more than one; nonetheless he is still right and not in need of useless correction.


Loved it. One of the best comedies I have ever seen.


REALLY? IS THAT TRUE? I GUESS YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY. OH DARN IT ALL, I FORGOT TO TURN OFF CAPS AGAIN.


WUT.  I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT CONCEPT... FATHER!


Looks more like Asperger's.


"Everything the light touches is Indiana"

"What about that shadowy place?"

"That's Gary, Simba; you must never go there."


If they wanted a gesture, they could have donated the money to a charity in Heath's name or set up a fund for people struggling with similar addictions or drug problems. Giving millions of dollars to a girl who already had millions of dollars and calling it a "gesture" is fucking stupid.


It seems to follow the rule of giving speeches and getting people to remember your speech:

* Tell them what you're going to tell them

* Tell them.

* Tell them what you told them.


so... is being ugly bad or not?

how is that an insult if it's not bad to be ugly?


If the earth weren't livable, we wouldn't be around to consider the fact in the first place. I'm sure on some distant planet somewhere, some aliens with completely different biology are saying "Isn't it amazing that this is the only planet with breathable methane this distance from our star?"


who is your QB again?


Or maybe the Squirts Locker


I guess it's the stupid foreigner's fault for not being able to tell that you were holding yourself out as a tech without much experience then.  Stupid foreigners lol.


I dunno about you but my Jurassic Park backpack was the shit


Like you, I am also sad that this did not happen.  It would have made for a really nice silver lining to the 9/11 attacks.


Occupy Aozora012's Kitchen.


Perhaps they are also a disproportionate majority of huge assholes?


I don't even know how I feel about whales... I think they're sexy.


No one just has hate for no reason. But if you that helps you sleep at night, then all the power to you.


Dude, those are furries. Keep the hell away.


Upvotw for the use of "yo". Of course I read it in jesses voice


Pros:

AMAZING GAMEPLAY, INSANE FUN, FLAWLESS EVERYTHING

Cons:

Not enough lack of color

8.7


Take a glimpse of this sub before the PC version hits because a lot of you kids won't like it when rockstar launches the definitive edition.


Just seems awfully suspicious to me that he would say something along the lines of that. But I'm sure its only **Pure Coincidence**


Obviously Hotshot's going to go AD carry next.


fuck you. I was just saying that it is not dangerous to drink gasoline so your post is useless atm


/u/CuntyMcGiggles is as great as they come


LOL! What absolute bullshit. Talking about it isn't going to fix the fact that you aren't attracted to each other.


You got HOW many squid??


Yeah he basically just called his own son dumb.


upthefuckvoted for you too for making me lol


If 50 Cent and Nickelback ever have a concert together, it should only cost 45 cents.


Yes, we get it, you verr chust followink orders.


get drunk and drink the pancake mix.


I asked an honest question and people thought I was stupid for that?


What grinds my gears is the haul posts without swatches. That's not helpful, that's just bragging.

EDIT: Because people keep asking what swatches are: Think paint swatches but with makeup. Usually people will take the product and apply it to the inside of the forearm to show how it looks on skin. Often it looks completely different on skin than it does in the packaging.


I think gaming journalism is stupid, and it will always be stupid. It's people writing on a third grade level about a personal hobby that other people do in their free time. It's like tennis journalism, except somehow a bunch of people on the internet with no perspective at all spend countless hours a day beating their fists about it.


Unsubscribe. It really makes the frontpage enjoyable again.

...Or at least it makes me feel less like I'm a 26 year-old on a site with a bunch of high school kids.


And then you edited? Not cool.


> I'd question my ability to keep moving for a whole day and a night.

Clearly, you're unfamiliar with cocaine.

ETA: If your first thought is to make a comment about Wal-Mart not selling cocaine, look in the question for the part where it says "you're not allowed to bring anything with you." When you don't find it, make a mental note: you're an idiot.


If your beliefs and behaviors were leading you to eternal hell, would it be loving of someone to inform you and tell you to turn from sin and embrace Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior?


We went in thinking the show is FOR ADULTS and kids under 5 should NOT be watching. We were fine with parents not letting their kids watch.  We made it for ourselves and didn't think that Homer or Bart SHOULD be role models. They are simply characters. Flawed characters.  But they do have good qualities but anyone basing their parenting style on a cartoon has bigger issues  than our dumb show.


Corgizza, but then I took an arrow to the knee.


So you'll ally with the wasps at the first opportunity?


severe burns. Picture, rescue workers are observed to be severe burns, a miner http://redole.com


Cancer Boy. He even set up a Paypal account for donations. Some people are sick.


What are u gay? Tits are nice but If u didn't notice there's a penis on there...


"would you rather I was dead?"

Dude,  rookie mistake.


**redundant comment is redundant.**


seriously, it's one thing if the teacher brought up rape in the middle of talking about electron clouds or polynomials, but relating it to depression in a health class is pretty valid time to use it


It means you probably shouldn't be a psychiatrist or a psychologist.


Embeeer, so warm and tendeeeeer! You will remember my name!


Congrats on losing the weight!  You looked good before though!


It's Reddit's equivalent of "You'll never believe the 7 things this controversial scantily clad celebrity did" and it's just as annoying.


Both of you: It's just not funny anymore. It's a tired old joke, and it's not very clever anyway. Let it go.


Redditor for 8 minutes... PHONEY!


It's pretty telling how people are just laughing their ass off at 2 shitbags joking around on stage. Oh these shitbags are UFC fighters, right.

Guess we can forget all the things that make them shitbags to begin with. Johnson 2x domestic violence on women champion, 1 time creeper, UFC silenced his baby mama who he beat up on. Jones speaks for himself, I don't even need to say it.


Just one more turn...

[36hrs later]

...Why am I so hungry


You sound mad that your best friend didn't marry :you:.  That's what you get for spending too much time on reddit.


Mesa no Padme, mesa happy you like though.


**YEAH, I READ IT TOO!!!**


Is this Watson?  HUMAN PLEASE RESPOND: WHAT IS YOUR PREFERRED FORM OF KNOWLEDGE ABSORPTION?


Anime is a cancer on human society. Please stop now.

edit: seriously, downvoting me won't change the fact that anime is the lowest of all entertainment mediums. The only good anime was pokemon. The rest is borderline-pedophile garbage. If you're into it, please seek help.


Upvoting simply because of Boyz in Da Hood. Clever, my friend. Very very clever.


And you're the type of moron that's bankrupting the government by demanding more and more of that awesome unlimited money that Washington can provide for your every need.


What kind of company trusts the new guy with a few thousand dollars cash?


You could've, I dunno, not? There's this pretty popular site called Facebook that a lot of people nowadays use, I seem to notice a lot of people share photos through there.

It's pretty crazy, really. Oh, also, Facebook photo uploads don't compromise image quality, which is a handy bonus.


As someone who went through the DARE program in elementary school, THIS IS WHAT THEY ARE TEACHING YOUR KIDS.


Not really, I have a led highly successful life, mostly care-free. I am very thankful that my parents raised me with an open mind.


I don't give a fuck about the shampoo bottles. Does that mean my basic constitutional rights apply again?


even with her nips photoshopped out?


Nah, it just means he has a boss fight to prepare for.


And this is the one that shall be downvoted!


So, like this?

http://i.imgur.com/wNRgY.gif


He was filming so he could press an "all whites are racist" agenda with the "Just for walking down the street" comments.


Should really report that to the police.  He's actively trying to commit fraud.


Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that you don't store that sort of thing in RAM.


Or at least since /r/thefappening


Why would he call me a bundle of sticks?


I work on a chicken farm(friend owns it) that supplies chickens for the chicken nuggets. (already did the AMA) Nice to meat Fries and Milk! We are officially a happy meal.


*American arsenal fan*


They are, raping and killing is just their idea of fun.


Do you see me getting mad at the title? No, you don't, because its not something that is enraging to me.

What I am getting mad at is the upvoting of the stupid trigger/privilege/oppression jokes. They're not funny anymore, and barely ever were.


Oooh, *clever*. OP will surely deliver.


And yet studies show that Mac users are overall considerably better educated, more social, and better read than Windows users.


no, *America* is his penis


> Fact... piracy *improves* sales

Get the fuck out. You're out of your mind. You will **never** find evidence to support this claim (-:

Stop trolling (-:

*REDDIT, PLEASE SEND THIS DIPSHIT INTO* **DOWNVOTE OBLIVION**


"I have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."


I thought liberals were vehemently anti-racism? "Stupid White Men"? Would you read a book called "Stupid Black Men"?

This is why no one likes liberals.


You could say, they had to compromise to be able to paint him that much.


lol cuz narcissistic fags like u can get married there of course.


This escalated into murder rather quickly.


My mistake.  How embarrassing.


I literally get overly embarrassed for characters in movies and tv shows to the point where I cover my eyes. When  I was a kid, I used to run out of the room.


That has more to do with the difference in genitals than any sexism.


it freaked me out until i read the word office. and i was like, hah i dont have a job .


Fuck your novelty account.


>Some people just want to be victims...

That, and everything is personal. Everything is about them.


I.am.a.robot.m8. Also your comment proved you gave me attention. Thanks m8.


I find this... morbidly adorable. A child with little understanding of the concept of death attempting to tend to an animal's corpse. I think that definitely would've left a mark on me as a parent, though I think I'd be more moved than traumatized.


If the joke is that the movies too long, than please take a vacataion to /r/dadjokes (like as in /r/bad jokes)

The movie is baaaaarely as long as some even longer movies. Even they would literally (correct usage,) fit into your image.


haha, I'm doing stuff.


Dogs are naturally vicious. Many even attack their own owners out of the blue. It's usually an instinct triggered by something we often don't intend.


My mom did that once.... you could hear her swearing 2 blocks away.

Also, don't laugh when your mother does this...she doesn't find it funny.


If it took 2 seconds to implement why has it taken 3 months for them to do so?


Is it not common knowledge that inhaling smoke is bad?


What a horrible comment that is. You cynical bastard.


>laughbarf

10/10 would gigglesnort again.


Except the joke in the title has been made more times than the word "nigger" was used in Django Unchained.


I have actually always loved Raisin Bran. Even as a kid.


Please leave your unhelpful comments off to the side you jackass. You really make yourself just look like a douche.


The note scribblers have no idea how bad.


Seriously. I'm *this* close to unsubscribing. If you're so bothered by it just don't buy the product. I'm just so sick of the sensationalism here on reddit.

EDIT: I guess you meant the drm. Reddit really let me know.


If it makes u feel any better girls spend ages trying to orgasm through fingering which doesnt work for I think 7/10 women. The day you discover your clitoris is holy af.


The weed reference has no bearing on the fact that Paul is antiwar and that his antiwar trumps your silly distortions. If you want the dollars to spend domestically, the endless wars must be ended.  No ifs, ands or buts.


HAHAHA

I suck at math so I don't get it


thats why you're mother is so popular


Yes I can: alcohol weakens glass.


trumpW B O Y S trumpW


Alton Brown is the Bill Nye of cooking


Seriously, if you don't have anything to do with your coins i'd be more than glad to receive some of them. It's fucked up competing in the top divisions with an average team and less than 10k of coins.


"Always nice to meet another dick with a face drawn on!"


haha i came here to say this


It was pretty amazing. I heard the boom, but didn't see it -- only the aftermath. My husband (who watched the whole thing unfold in his rearview mirror) says the guy actually slammed on his brakes at the last second as he noticed the speedbump, further lowering the nose of the vehicle. He nosedived straight into that speedbump! :D


agreed. lol @ this delusional fuck thinking this slut was only posing next to it because she needed to "complete the scene"


I recently got married and my husband is still asking "Will you marry me?" when I do something cute, etc., so now my response is "I can't, mister, I'm a married woman."


False. It has native support for all N64 Virtual Console games on wii.


I don't even use my hands. Towel dry and it works out great

Edit: Well this is now my highest rated comment like 3 times over lol. Thanks guys. Keep rocking the secksii hair


The bong was a paedophile. Rest in hell bong.


That would be retarded.


That's what I thought. Makes no sense anyway.


Admit it... you were biting the plate, weren't you?


Is it [this?](http://www.snopes.com/horrors/insects/wormeye.asp)


Being a noob and not really understanding pre-cum... I was just terrified of getting her pregnant.

Good news is that Amazon sells 100 packs of condoms... We don't run out anymore. Seeing as she's now my wife.


You sound like you live in rural Tennessee and have never lived in a major metropolitan city.


And of course here's the point someone comes in and reinforces the hatred of Karmanaut as to keep the subject alive. Get over it.


It's so British in here


You applaud someone beating someone younger than them with a belt?


Well, between the title and this comment I've decided not to open the link. So thanks.


God damn that shouldn't have made me laugh as much as it did


What the fuck is a book?


That wasnt the point of romney asking obama that you liberal fucktard. Romney was pointing out that obama has investments in china companies....who gives a fuck if obama was witty in his response? Its about the facts not who can get a crowd laughing


>I went robots to Venus

Wat


Omg thank you for that!

My husband has no chin and I never let him live it down! Non-chin jokes are absolutely my favorite!


You were an amazing troll as a child. Internet high-five to you.


Upvote for link please.


This is pretty much why I will never wear reddit apparel in public.


LOL.  He's probably dead like everyone else in his family and neighborhood.  If the street violence don't kill them before they are 20, the diabetes and heart disease will before they are 40.


They probably wouldn't have much content to display at all in that case.


>As a trans woman

I don't think anyone needs to take advice on how to raise a normal child from someone with your mental disorder.

Thanks for playing, though.


I didn't ask for your opinion. Hes *pathethic*.


Maybe the Caucasian couple finished dinner before them?? Don't sit down to eat if you're in a hurry.


raaaaa, I was about to say that. you beat me on this one


"I swear, it gets funnier in just a minute."


No I am not.  I do think it's pretty good though.


TIL that my penis is not the protein shake producer I thought it was.

No wonder I'm getting fat


And you're the dumbass giving it to me :)


Well Jesus Christ, it wouldn't be safe to hold a baby near a fan like that.  But if you insist.

http://i.imgur.com/kRisT1M.jpg


There is no average. I get all men and women under the sun. Old, young, hot, not so hot, short, tall, wheelchair, celebrities, women....


The phrase "butthurt" is a reference to rape. Please refrain from using it.


Pepperidge Farm remembers.


So many angry people.


>Carry/conceal license....Bipolar

America.


I agree! He's a swell guy!


Well I wouldn't. He'd skin me.


If they were boxing under real conditions (no helmets/regulation gloves) Trudeau would have been out cold in the first 2 minutes. All he did after that was hit Brazeau with tiny weak ass jabs using his 5" reach advantage to stay well the fuck away from him.


If you gotta stab your dick to get laid, you might be doing something wrong.


**If you're not from le 9gag, you might as well shove a banana up your nigger hole ಠ_ಠ**

**LE UPVOTE FOR LE 9GAG ARMY, AMA**


My dad knew a guy in a band who would do this with personals ads to get people to come to his shows.


People get upset because even if those kittens go to homes, they might take the place of a kitten or cat being put to death in a shelter. I don't know where you live but find it hard to believe there are no animal shelters there - if so, that's great. Please have the kittens spayed/neutered before they go to their adoptive homes.


Or just a yordle with a lance riding a goat.


No, and I don't want to have the responsibility to manage and backup that sort of data.


NO

This is just a tribute.


So keep the sharing of the dumb dog pictures with your kids and the neighbors. No one cares about a jpeg of your animal.


...isn't...that... kinda ruining the whole meaning of the song?


The US does all the work so it doesn't really matter.


hey at least she was straight forward about it. she could have lied and you would have a child right now...


Oh, so you're just a dipshit douchebag nigger lover?


Happened to me last week when I had a stomach bug.

Lemme tell you I learned something from that experience.  Every person should shit their pants in a controlled setting just ONCE in their life.  It builds character.  I'm a better person today because of it


Warz did start production before the days mod did. Not to say chance exclusively affected the gameplay in either game, but it is an interesting case.

Edit: was wrong. Don't trust a single source. Always get two highly rated sources.


There's red flags, and then there's huge bedsheets soaked in blood and hanging from a flagpole. That was the latter.


I'm steady starin' at your sister, I tell ya this: You know for only 14 she got some big tits!


Yes, after lunch I usually take a piece of chocolate!


>VR heads?

>3D heads

>3DHead

3DHEAD IS ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED


I never got the chance to get to know Emil, but I am from Nord Trøndelag, I did not see much of him during everything but I am aware of that he was murdered not far from me. After all I have heard about him I have come to the conclusion that when he died, Norway and the nation lost a great man.

My condolences.


Someone with gold give it to this fella right here.


This.  Lets appreciate the fact that he's not being waterboarded and anally fed in gitmo.


Yeah, seriously.

It's not funny.

What a watered down ordinary place you all have made /r/funny. I hope you all feel proud of yourselves.


That's because it was meant for us fucktards. Also still don't think it's that bad. Episode II is really the only true bad Star Wars IMHO and even that has some cool moments.


Yes, a lot of 13 year old males on reddit.


So Lucas decided to reduce the chance his kids are rich assholes and donated $4 billion dollars to education? He's a hero. Honestly, who gives a shit if he made some bad prequels. Much respect to him.


I really dont give two shit about basketball nor the NBA, i was just curious and people answered relax.


No, not all straight guys see lesbians as a "challenge". I certainly don't.


Isnt it even funnier that youre fighting the fights of a stranger for him? Either he doesnt have the balls to do his fighting for himself or you dont have much of a life to speak of. I was replying to someone who was attacking me, lying *and* misrepresenting my words. Whats *your* stake in this? LOL.


IIRC, the natives tried to rub off some of his blackness.


Yes, you're wrong. There are agnostic/atheist Muslims just like there are atheist/agnostic Jews and Christians.

Edit: Downvoted for factually correct statements. This goddam site, sometimes...


I my cock in your mouth too, baby.


Your dad is a chubby chaser. Does'nt matter, still would bang.

Got any recent photos?


You can't spell subtext without buttsex!


Why doesn't this have more upvotes?


Not with that attitude.


T be fair, he's not much of a celebrity.


You are also an honest man.


Well I haven't published them and don't intend to.. Their privacy isn't *very* violated.


This shit's romantic as fuck


yes, we taught him not to make "hey everyone check out how awesome i am because i have this vidya game!!!!! u jelly??? derp!" posts. everyone knows that he'll never unlearn 20 years of not brushing his teeth, though. at least he's got the new fallout.


Batteries are running low on the gameboy?  Nab them from the CD player.  Going to listen to the newest Smash Mouth album?  Oh wait, my batteries are in the gameboy, except now they are dead too.  Time to find the remote.


That's fine, I know the feeling. It just comes off as kind of weird going through all the process of proving yourself, photographing, posting/commenting etc. just for something almost no one has any reason to doubt - and even if 100% of us believe you we will never know your name so you may as well be any of the hundreds of other people who've beaten the game.


My investigation seems to conclude otherwise.


what is that mean? vagina loll


You could be on to something there my good old pal!


The human ape is addicted to division.


>Also, lol at your username after complaining about stealing nicknames.

No one calls Quick "King," just giving credit where it's due. Not an equal comparison, sorry.


I read that as 'poison dog fart'

which is probably more dangerous actually.


you've just heard of it? you're lame as fuck.


If it's born on domestic soil, yes.


Democracy is a cancer, so there's reason to complain, especially when the rituals are mandatory. Surely you wouldn't be saying the same thing if theocratic countries had mandatory rituals, would you?


BF4 Dev here. Can confirm. I use a XYZ initial velocity and can set drag and gravity. Physics are going on but it is not a global Sim. I can fake extra gravity on specific bullets and such for tuning and gameplay purposes. The real crazy physics in the game are how the planes are set up. :)


Way to be a dick about it. I think with over 300 hours of work it's a bit more than "just meh". Get off your high horse.


It's all kinda emerged organically. There's probably a lot more we could do to support it more, so we'll probably look more into that in the future. We've recently started partnering up with cool iOS apps by giving them more exposure and letting them brand themselves "official" in exchange for bags of money.


Whatevs. He would have stopped that train with his massive, erect dick. Pussy.


It's absurd how empowered this makes me feel.


"Yo bitch, grandma, no one fucks with my internet when I'm playing COD"


Why does a fucking 4 year old need an iPad? The first technological possession that I got came in high school. And that was a goddamn flip phone.


To the top you go!

EDIT #1: I spot at least 76 douchebags! :D

EDIT #2: Downvote me, suckas!  I thrive in your butthurt displeasure!!!


1. Fish are coming out of a hole in ice.

2. .sihT


You couldn't have just rounded up to $10 there?


I don't know, probably just be a fat Indian man that eats a lot of food and lives at home.


That's still her age, don't defend these sick perverts.


It  was the fat white guy's smirk for me.


DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT REPOSTS!! READ THE REDDITIQUETTE!! OMG YOU ARE THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD!!!


Selective breeding of amazing asses causes this. Sigh, and me with my hank hill ass.


With that attitude, maybe you wouldn't be a good parent period.


Pretty sure you got the wrong Indian there, bud.


yes, he's still a fatass.


see kids, *this* is why you need to go to the eye doctor regularly and keep your prescription updated.  I once went to a nude beach without my glasses.  So disappointing.  Only saw one woman that wasn't blurry, and I had to lean over her and squint.


My naturebucks is passive. Don't be a negative nancy. Get yourself 100 + refferrals and enjoy your passive $10 - $20 per week. :)


yeeeeeeea.....college games have 2 halves, not 4 quarters.


So your an anti-vaxxer?


So that's what it would have been like if I had invented the Finglonger.


I used to ride the karma trains, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


What is PM? (Sorry, i'm new to reddit!)


I begrudgingly upvote your Tosh.0 reference.


I don't have time to answer that.


I found the pseudo-progressive with the conventional mindset!


to me it sounds like a kid who thought "They'll appreciate and respect my honesty", then quickly found out that real life isn't like the movies.


As long as we get into the playoffs we will be fine.  You will choke again and have to go back to living in the Alabama of the north.


You are legally required to link to that section.


Oh, by the way, what would you demand in order to be able to trust a journalist? I'm asking this as it is required to answer the rest of your question.


Are you fucking kidding me, I belived this whole god dam thing until the last paragraph you clever little shit.


A lot of "trust" goes into those immunisations.

You just never know what they actually put in them.


Dogs. Afraid of vacuums, not afraid of cars.


That's not the worst. You can always create a new account using a proxy server. :P N00b.


Your parents died like two thousand years ago.

Time to let go, man.


*Guardian Down booms out from the TV*

How the fuck did you just die doing Oracles/Templar when you're sniping?

*Guardian Down booms out from the TV*

... How did you die in normal mode? SERIOUSLY!? It's almost a joke how easy it is.


I never feel bad. #2REAL2QUIT


This response seems too defensive - clearly you already suspect autism yourself. Denial helps neither you nor your child.


When you get booed with the fucking Rock in your corner. Damn.


If there was ever a time to post that god-damned "mindblown" gif, this is it.


Only 1% of those who entered Auschwitz eventually survived.


no skill involved at all.


Conform OP. None of this individualism bullshit. You are living a lie!


I bet you feel silly.


You made an account based off that stupid fucking fake story? That...that's kind of sad.

Edit: You're all fucking retarded. This is a stupid story. It's like Reddit turned into an audience for The View or some other bullshit menstrual show like that. I hope you're all proud of your teenage girl like quivers over this **100% FAKE** 50 shades of grey garbage.


So mainstream.  TIL that I am a porn hipster.


Can't blame her bf, vaginas look like sarlaac pits.


My mom was invited into the cockpit on a flight to San Antonio, the pilot brought her there to talk to her since she had told the attendants about her severe flight anxiety. It was before the plane took off though, I highly doubt they would've done that mid-flight


I'm not trying to SHAME anyone. I'm suggesting that there are other ways to go about getting the perfect dog. There are enough homeless pets in this world.


A squirrel who ponders the many cosmic mysteries.


Lol it's funny cuz it's kinda like in the video


Everyone go home, this guy just set the bar up in the stratosphere, no one can beat this.


Do you like fishsticks?


I love how people just respond like this. Yes as in hot during ES or now?


Yea my 8th of weed just became 35 grams.  Pretty awesome.


don't fucking go to the country if you don't like the laws, you give up your privacy right by going through customs. They didn't force you to go to the country

edit: for those downvoting me here's some more of my argument so you can continue the circlejerk http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/2y1c7k/quebec_resident_alain_philippon_charged_at/cp5lmlz


I read that as "I shot up in bed". As in heroin.


HAHAHAHAHHA

Pack rekt them last season, they rekt them again


Damn, they should've gotten fired. Seriously. That's terrible.


Sorry, this sounds more like a made-up story by a pro-choice advocate. Even if elements of this story is true, I sincerely doubt that the whole story is true.

It is basically a pro-choice wet dream.

Bear in mind that AlterNet is a progressive advocacy site.

PS: This is my new account and I see that I forgot to unsubscribe from the crazies at /r/atheism


The empty bottles listen well enough.


cats fuckin suck,, they should all be deported to mexico they eat cats there they should start with my moms cat it gets on my nerves especaily when im trying to play xbox it fuckin puts its ass right in my face and im like wut r u doing cat fuck u.. hahahha i love dogs much beter but except the one time i got bit its ok tho,, i kicked the dogs ass,.


uh, sorry man, im always going to judge a guy with a swastika


It all started from a simple question. I'm beeing a mirror.


Sounds more like an old way of life they are accustomed to. If you grow up poor, you tend to continue to act poor even when you become successful. (or maybe you're still poor, just sayin lol)


Yeah /r/MensRight's isn't feminist enough either.

Can we just make /u/ArchangelleDworkin a reddit admin? Reddit isn't Feminist enough.


...but you have a penis so I'll call you a creeper.

</MensRights>


I'm not sending anything else anymore - I don't know how often, or how clear, I can make that.

bspoka is not my 5 yr. old child I have to appease if he's upset, and the secret santa community wouldn't give two shits even if I did.


Smartest baby boom ever


Maybe you wouldn't be so angry if you ate a nice, juicy steak.


I JUST GOTTA GET THOSE KISSES


yuck ... maybe eat less pizza and you won't be as fat and greasy yourself.


I appreciate that you added the floor reflection.


Why shouldn't they be able to hire another version of you who didn't have those problems?


"if it's alright with you, sir, I noticed the lawn could use a mow, and I'd also like to clean the entire house and wash your car."


Thanks for being a normal person.

And yeah, that explanation sounds pretty plausible. Being somehow ejected away from the ice column seems like the only way he would have avoided any injuries.


*Shudder*

>Shading.


I had to re read that because I thought it said banana... I feel dumb now.


That doesn't make it any better.


Are you by any chance hot?


Edit: what I intended to be moderate, polite discussion has turned into both the usual cross-reddit flame war of name calling, and a down vote fest (just after the blog post about what that arrow is for...sigh). So fuck it.


Eeeeeasy there, big fella.


That's actually really funny, why arnt people funny like this anymore, DAE - LADS ITS ...


Don't upvote, but here's a [PIC] of my **GIRLFRIEND** smoking some *marijuana* with my *cat*.  (www.imgur.com) DAE remember nailing it when you were a kid? TIL I'm doing it right. Fuck!


I didn't laugh at shit, genius.


5 or six, but the real money is in selling 4 homes before they are even able to buy the hotel.


After the Huntelaar one, I'm starting to have this crazy idea that they are doing this to piss on Spain after they only gave Ronaldo two games, like "We are a better league, look at us applying law and being great and shit", I know it's crazy but if there is any other suspension next i'll start having real doubts.

EDIT: the hell are you people taking this comment seriously?


Oh my god, you've been rebirthed.


I'll fuck a whore for sure.  I'd just never date or marry one.  This is what I think whenever I hear a chick lament that all the good guys are gone, lol.  No you dumb slut, they're just not into some chick that's had miles of cock up her snatch.


Boy, I bet your arms are tired.


Well I didn't read the story, so that makes you a failfag.


Pretty sure he's watching Suits and White Collar. I love there's 2 USA shows with vague titles based on clothing. Leather Belt, Thurs at 10/9c on USA.


I have a hunch that it's usually just a welfare queen(read feminist) who wants to live off of the state or a man's money. If not then she's just a slut and when a slut with moral quandaries about abortion gets knocked up everyone else has to take responsibility for it after all in feminist society.


THE MAN WITH THE CHEESEBURGER TATTOO.


Then just comment and fucking agree with the person. Whining about downvotes is stupid and annoying.


Lamp, computer, jack, key, chain... Wait... Fuck...


You can always tell when it's men who comment because everything "needs to have a purpose or goal" when sometimes women (and disaffected people) want a place to vent frustrations. It's the reddit steam room. We're just in our towels hanging out laughing at boob jokes.


Going into engineering thinking girls love biomechanics was my first mistake


I don't see how given you have enough time to make this stupid shit in the first place :)


**BOLD LETTERS MENTIONING BRAVERY.**


You should come to Arlington, and sit in my lap.


Wouldn't it be Elusive Man, then?


>*Yeah, they're kind of beating a dead Sarah Jessica Parker on that on.*

FTFY


Neither can puppets or dogs.


That's only because blacks feel out numbered and feel that if they don't go along with it they will be seen as a outcast. My cousin is in the military . He said sometimes you gotta go along with it because the superior officers will mostly side with white soldiers and say your race bating if you bring it up .


Much less time consuming to instead perform it twice, using grouping.

Do it the first time with say, 26 different photos, sorting from first letter of last name. Then do the same thing again for each person falling into the group. Seems much more reasonable of a task in that way.


That's nice, personally I don't care, women have to many fucking rights thanks to all those progressive cis faggots with their pasty skin and pc ideals.


You would really like the Borderlands game series.


wow, didn't know anyone used the word *prude* anymore. congratulations.

Lemme break it down for you: SAR CAS TIC

ToKe dude was fukin funny. but then I realized the context. and that part wasn't funny. hence above post. stupid silly.

How bout you do this: step the fuck away from your computer monitor for a sec, cause that's when life happens.

edit: I hope I didn't offend anyone :D


I'm asian, and some Caucasian asshole said the stereotypical sh-peel "Ping pong wing wong etc. etc." (some stupid shit like that) to mock me.

I replied "P'taters? P'taters? U want p'taters?" ("Potatoes" in a heavy southern accent).


>Shit on religious people, **as if they all hate Atheists** and are ignorant

If they're in the US, chances are that they're quite hated for being atheists.


BIG eyes, then a slow processing, following by a look of sadness and recognition of her mistake. It was like watching a cascade of emotions.


You're arguing that everyday programming tasks are as complicated as aerospace engineering?

Would you like to self-aggrandise a bit more?


I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS! I'M GOOD AT DEALING WITH PEOPLE! YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?


Prostitution is illegal for the same reason pot is illegal; the government can't find a way to tax the sale of it.


No they used to play an RPG set in a fantastical future land where everyone lives in safe, clean suburbs protected by rule of law and minimal corruption, and there is always enough to eat, never any danger, and nothing but free time.

Roll 1d20 against your lice-free bed modifier to sleep in for 5 more minutes.


He's already played through the game at least three times on his channel. This playthrough is pointless and is probably just for petty views. He's realized that as a YouTube partner, no one really gives a shit about his content unless it's Dark Souls..

Downvote more you butthurt faggots. You're hurting me so much! Suckle on his nigger-wannabe teets some more, go ahead.


"Oh sorry. I don't understand. This is my boyfriends tshirt!"


Ha, wait till next year.


first of all, what the hell is Sheramie?  Is that a name!?
I WANT TO PUNCH THAT NAME IN THE FACE.


From the looks of it this is a common issue, and it's going to be resolved. Thanks for taking the time out to post! Sorry this happened to you too.


I like to think that it is welded to the outside of the sub along with some patio furniture.


Good job chopping and changing the context so it suits you, even though you left out half the context but no worries. We're better off with LvG at the helm then we were under Moyes.


You take these things too seriously.


Argh, this.

Libido: "I wanna wanna wanna... "

Me: "Ok, with whom?"

Libido: "No one."

Arrrgh, then shut up.


I feel like I'm moving backward to 2012 when I gave a shit about Tame Impala

Edit: I am not backing down on this post. Downvote away!!!!!!!!!!!1
Edit #2: You can take my reddit karma but you can't take my yakkarma! D vote to yr hearts content


"not at all! In fact, if you'll lend me a coat hanger and point me towards the bathroom..."


That's a stupid idea. Don't be a rat. Talk to them about it.


He's part of a backwards, mysoginistic, oppressive cult created by an illiterate pedophile that wants to drag humanity back to the stone age, kicking and screaming. Of course he's going to have a limited understanding of words.


Who knew a majority of this subreddit would get so butt-hurt over a comic. It's not like I lied about having the cure for cancer. And if you look at a lot of the comics lately they are full of shit.


"Oh you're the guy who hacks?" "No I just... " "can you hack my friend?" Every time.


Yep. Waaay too skinny.


Wow, that was really good bullshit.


You are the scum of the earth, absolute cowardly bastard.


Nah... I don't think the car was moving.


The fact your getting upvotes is a troubling trend on this site.

First we have OP making fun of his daughter/son online (aka bullying,) or even worse, tricking them into being wrong to bully them online.

Second, we have you /\ continuing this and making it seem ok.


Even the stupid Microsoft paper clip could have given the right call there.

"Hi, it looks like you're trying to win a Super Bowl? Have you tried Beast Mode?"


Don't start that prayer shit. God obviously doesn't like Japan or New Zealand much right now. Probably not Libya either.


That lip bite is not fair!


Urban is most definitely they 'villain'. Helfrich seems like a genuinely good guy. Urban is a slime ball


It counts how many times you pressed square.


Did you not notice my name?


That doesn't sound fucked up, but like a lot of fun.


why did I read all the replies and still click the link? Why!??


The only game I'd buy full price the second the store opens.


Sure is hard to adress things correctly, yeah?


Because some things ARE and some things ARE NOT


Yep. You don't like the link! Folk should only use links *you* approve! Take your prejudices elsewhere.


I love when reddit solves mysteries.


This guy knows!! Haha clutch


This scene was better, IMHO: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvh1MDjJ388


unless he went to iraq, of course, then all of reddit would assume he's a baby-killing rapist.


>drive off quickly

book it

ftfy


Hahahaha! Oh Man, got me there! So creative! Faggot.


I think you made me gay


I just... I can't even. anyone who thinks Men's Rights is a decent subreddit automatically lost any capability I had to give a shit about them, even if it was a tiny, *miniscule* shred of it. I can't even listen anymore. Have fun never being loved because you're too busy shoving your opinion in everyone else's face!


Or birth certificate ha. I'd be arrested.


I bet your fun at party's.


> Adolf Hitler Campbell

So he's a soup Nazi?


Govt shouldn't force anyone to do anything. Maybe not for these circumstances.


Guy that lived in New Zealand here. They don't use that word in Middle Earth either.


He said "arm wrestled" not "fucked some faggot's sphincter."


I once heard a kid (age 9 I'm guessing) trying to get his little brother (4?) to quit goofing off in the McDonald's bathroom stall. (I was at the urinal). "C'mon, just go already!" Then they flushed and the young one screamed **"Bye-bye poopyyy! AHAHAHHHHAHAHHAHAH!!!"**

Epic.


Ok my mistake. I guess I haven't seen him play enough then


ctrl+shift+T for unhacks


If I was there I would have taken out my gun and asked her to leave the premises. If she didn't I would shoot her in the foot or pistol whip her. You can legally use lethal force, but I don't plan to kill anyone. She was throwing bottles of vodka around, easily enough to kill someone. Calling the cops is cool too, but I'm a badass so I follow my own rules.


Actually that's exactly what it is...


LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!

Your homophobic, woman hating candidate is going to lose. Just let that soak in.


congrats bro you're a fuckin' human.


Only a fucking idiot X could come up with this.  Get to the mall where you belong.


I know what I'm about to plug gets plugged a lot but just in case *you* didn't know:

/r/intrusivethoughts


well, American kids commit suicide over myspace while starving kids in Africa look for food in the garbage and fight tooth and nail for clothes and have a male suicide rate almost half of ours. I'd hate to belittle this as it is tragic but kids today are spoiled as fuck.

http://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/suicide/country_reports/en/index.html


I never had a study hall through all my years of schooling. It's a foreign concept to me that I only learned about through movies.


Yeah. Show me one anti-feminist comment from a default subreddit that has been upvoted much (most of them end up with way too many negative votes in fact). How is that not too feminist? There's a lots of men here whose behavior only is dictated by how to get approval from *any* female. Hence the term  'protectors of faminism'.


Hey there's been none this year


Only an idiot would ever say such a thing. It wouldn't matter if Mars was nothing but a single gigantic pool of premium refined gasoline: It takes more energy than the fuel contains to return it to Earth.

Or didn't this occur to you?

Oh, and "ought", you fool.


Its not a problem with the mold you have to let it set longer before adding more layers. Especially if you are spiking it (alcohol inhibits the gelatin from gelling). You can also add a little more gelatin to each layer by buying plain gelatin at the store or just add less water to each layer increasing the gelatin/water ratio.


upvote if you think this chick has more than 3 brain cells


Brokeback Mountain might be right up your alley.


If you had any sense you would abort. There should be no question about it.


A BAT CREDIT CARD!!!!???


Single moms are cheaper than prostitutes.


''Dude, did you know that those babies from yesterday in the clinic actually survived?''


This match is wrong failure


I don't believe Jesus and Newt ever dated.


Um yea why even say that


You mean Jerry, Indiana.


Right, I look for attention, coming from the idiot who spends their days telling people on the internet that jokes are mean and no one should tell them.


And they say romance is dead.


Definitely noticed this as well.


Lady wrote me a message how I was a keeper and she regretted not giving me a chance ON HER FREAKING WEDDING INVITATION.


First episode of Glee was hard to watch. Bob from Heroes playing a gay man who screws everyone over to bring a hopeless romance with *Josh Groban* into fruition?

No. Just... no.


>now she can't complain when she sees my place

You poor, innocent soul.


Even if she wasn't a hyperchristian, isn't this the kind of shit you'd expect from a 14 year old girl?

I mean, wouldn't you expect her to be entirely oblivious to memes, with her only source of knowledge on the subject from Facebook and Tumblr?


By "volunteers" I thought you meant people that volunteer for fund-raisers and charities.


I used to be 6'0" tall, and then I took a crocodile to the knee.


Brain damage? That's an exaggeration.  My brother did this to me all the time and I don't know what even has did when looked like.


There a good reason to be on guard around black people


Was the girl you worked with called Dwight Schrute?


Please continue, it's always a pleasure to be attacked by open source fanatics screaming random nonsense, when you point out some deficiencies in whatever open source product. "donate a machine that supports DX11" -- lol. Why not blankets and towels?


Though your estimate

May be close to accurate

You're ten per cent shy


Tom Brady doesn't pass to blacks.


The previous owner of the house put a paper towel between the grate and the exhaust fan, which got saturated with grease. Combine that with the fact that we never use the exhaust fan, and it was a pretty effective vapor/smell barrier.

The smell once I started tearing into the thing, however....  &#3232;\_&#3232;


I am a woman, am I want to have serious hard fucking sex with him so bad!!! I fucking hate loser WoW nerd guys, but this guy is so cool!!


I was once driving through Detroit and I had to piss like a horse.  I pulled into a gas station there to use the bathroom but they told me the bathroom was for customers only.  I only had like 10 bucks on me and I needed to pee desperately so I just bought a 2 bedroom condo next to the park.


My my, what an aggressive little beta we have here! umad?


Glad it worked out for you, but to be fair to those giving the advice, that situation usually falls apart more often than not.


It's a double standard because it is different. Boys want to see that stuff.


That's because Fight Club took that from real life.


Maybe, maybe not, maybe fuck yourself.


This first dawned on me when I went to college and saw the group who were majoring in education. My friend's roommate, an education major, said she didn't like to read. Not didn't like to read books -- just didn't like to read. What did she want to be? An English teacher.

EDIT: I think this is, like, my highest rated comment ever.


Why are you making such a big deal out of this? You got screwed on an order (it happens with a lot of companies) and you've seriously been on a rampage because you can't handle your shit like a man.

Maybe the next time this happens, you should let mommy and daddy handle it.


...sellery^sellery^sellery^sellery^sellery^sellery^sellery


That's because you're a whiny cunt that cries about nothing.

Good to see that you haven't changed since you made your pathetic OP 18 days ago. :) http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/tpcn9/i_remember_when_ratheism_used_to_be_good/


OP is a barrel of laughs


ha you can have the other pup in the picture


why do you love cats? they shit everywhere.. fuck them.. they should be burned like those tarantulas.. i would love that shit


I like how you seemed to have a rough idea of where that switch was.


At least you don't have -700 comment karma, and people that follow you to all ends of reddit to downvote everything you do.


Well said AssViolator, well said...now go wash that hairbrush off.


yeah. i know. they ganged up on me. friggin' lesbian feminists.


In buying a Poundland vibrator, I've found out how tight I really am.


Why can't some people put their point across without swearing? Please do not use words such as fxxk when replying to me. If you've got something to write then please write it without swearing.


>gastronomically weird

you're vocabularily weird. and i like it.


The only people who deserve mockery are those so arrogant and full of themselves that they think their opinion is superior to others.


"Ziggs is a great champion" - Osama bin Laden

Edit: http://youtu.be/3AiMJbqj6go


Did you get hit on the head or something? My karma score has plummeted ever since I pulled that stunt. If I wanted karma, I would have gotten more by NOT coming clean about it.


Have Aspergers, can confirm. I'm not delusional, just bad at eye contact.


http://i.imgur.com/ZSCo3dM.gif

EDIT: Downvoting this is a sign of gross incompetence.


How my first real job offer went after college.

"We are prepared to offer you the position starting at $xxxxx."

"I can honestly be there in an hour if you need me to."


i bet it would suck, having some gay guy watch you shower, then all the times you let him do things like this he was really imagining his dick in your ass, no bueno


Think of it as fireworks. :D


I have no clue who you are. But the fact that you found the video that funny makes me know you and I would not get along if we were to meet.


No, it was a friend of a friend, his little brother, that lives next to my aunt. You know. Not me.


Actually it is not. He is obviously not telling the whole story to make him look better. That is highly immature.


DO NOT FORGET TO WHOM YOU OWE YOUR POSITION, MORTAL.


Lol i love how you included an obligatory "I'm not american." Like somehow you knew who this was. but you needed to capitalize on that sweet, sweet karma that this sub gives anyone who claims they're not American.


Now that I think about it, I want to touch my dick.


Hell, 9/11 hasn't even taught our gov't to work together, do they think it's going to motivate a bunch of high school drop outs?


Yes, I'll narrow it down even more. She had boobs AND a vagina.


Actually it is an it, unless you have a new name for it. Personally we have two in our town, we always see them shopping, and they are known around town as Thing 1 and Thing 2.

A man will never be a woman, no amount of surgery drugs or makeup will change that, but they can go as far to remove themselves from being a "he" that the only approriate title is it or thing.


RES-tagged him as "Drunk Batman - Defender of Puppies"


I want to see some tit and ass shots


"Why do you have a brick in your pocket?"  "To balance out the other brick"


Wow, you caught a misprint, you must be so proud of yourself.


Eat a Snickers, you're emotionally crippled when you're hungry.


What gave me away?

Is kanye just an epic joke that everyone is a part of except kanye? Or is kanye in on the joke too? Or do people really dig the crap he says and produces now?


How I Melt Your Mother.


Oh great, another stupid cunt fuck dropout crying "DURR AY DUN NO TINGS AY AM OLDE LAWL" suck your wrinkly dick, dry your eyes, and shut the fucking fuck up.


When this happened in Scrubs I started to doubt it was a legitimate documentary.


fuck *youuu* you stoner scumbag; stay off my reddit.


I masturbate at home, I can confirm this.


You're seriously defending this? Have some self awareness man


I think he's talking about where the terrorists live.


Well the guy was behind me, I made the text bold at least


If the internet has taught me anything, this is true.


Idra is an annoying shit, and American to boot, but I cracked a massive smile when he did that. Zerg brothers unite!


karma is all i wanted :X


Then fuck off.  There you go.  Fuck right off.  Stop looking at my stuff.  My stuff is for people that think I'm fucking awesome just the way I am.  Not for you.


But But, it was a good movie. God damn Reddit hivemind and it's anti-hipster agenda.


Go root for Michigan then, and take off your flair.


First paragraph I was pretty sure I was getting fresh prince'd. Last paragraph I thought, "oh I'm not getting fresh prince'd, this is a real story!" Last 4 words,

"OH GOD DAMMIT"


3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679

That is a fun number.


That's because those guys are only typing with one hand.


I have tears of laughter in my eyes from this.


I would love to do that to my clone too.


LOL that and the first time a dick talked backed to me he would be on latrine duty for a week or fired lol.


"...In the snow!"

"Weren't you deployed to Iraq?"

"Yea, it was that hot snow!"

"You mean sand?"

"Yea, it was terrible"


i downvoted you not because the comment is offensive, but because it was lame and stupid.


Are you a cartoon character?


Homophobe. Lol.

Bitter like lemon zest because you fucked up. But nice karma-reaping tactics, there!


Oh really?  Is you wife seeing anyone?


The story does *reek* of bullshit though.


I had no idea this wasn't a known thing. I'm intrigued - where were you expecting it to be?


Sorry guys I searched the url and different titles and didn't find this picture submitted, is there a better way to search for reposts in the future?


The guy replying back was actually a script Gabe wrote years ago.


Fair and all, but you have no information if she in specific is recognized by them. Or actually by _psychiatrists_ in this case, who do not have Ph.D.'s as a rule.


He works as a janitor so he can still bully kids.


I work there as well-- currently. Your mentioning of that dude's death last summer as a "fun fact" is pretty fucked up. Glad you no longer have a position in the building.


Hahaha, I'm just imagining her brushing past you and thinking, "Man that's fuckin soft...15 loads and it's mine."


7 downvotes and counting.


The
>[RES ignored duplicate image]

gave it away..


That Drouin pick is looking really dumb for Tampa. They could have had Seth Jones. Imagine him paired with Hedman.


Your discretion is appreciated, citizen. *bats moths away from head*


You know, I'm by no means radical but I *do* think that if you're not with feminism then you're against it. Feminism basically reduces down to not being a horrible, misogynistic person and horrible, misogynistic people are the ones who most perpetuate the patriarchy.


Who boos their own team? That's just pathetic.


>tenner

English please. I don't know how much that is in freedom money.


I know. I'm turned on too.


Oh, but a woman threatening to knife you in the balls, there is no problem at all with that. I do not give a fuck about cake in the face, that is a joke. But a knife to the balls, hahaha, very fucking funny. Fuck you and your hypocritical stand.


Better question: Why is her opinion even relevant?


sounds like somebody's projecting their insecurities onto others


I used a friends laptop for reddit recently, he didn't have RES. I felt like a peasant, I can't go back to that dark place


no, im serious, this is obviously lulzec, wake up sheeple


Corporations are like children. They need to be taught where their boundaries lay and what the consequences are when they go beyond those boundaries. As a nation, we have absolutely failed to teach these corporations that lesson.


Top 10? I have absolutely no idea who this is.

Edit: I get it, he's a famous sports ball player. Forgive my 'American Jersey Shore peanut sized brain' for not partaking in all the sweaty cheering for dudes in shorts. Jesus Christ you guys are douchebags.

But I get it. If I mentioned Robert Plant and someone said "who the fuck is that", I would act like an asshole too. Carry on.


Who brings a baby to a movie theatre?


tell me oh wise one how difficult it was to buy a plane ticket and an overnight stay in a B and B for a £20 Arsenal ticket in the 70s.


That's actually a really awesome tip! I'm going to remember that.


OP is too. He should backhand that cunt across the face. I tolerate no insolence from my children.


That's the joke actually. In the show, she pronounces it "Horror-scope", hence the 'only seeing your face' part. It was never meant to be dirty.


DAE think LeBron should be fined? I mean, there are kids watching. This isn't HBO here.

Edit: Okay, libtards, you proved your point. You can stop downvoting. I know you'd have full penetration on basic cable if it were up to you. We get it.


I think they love it.  Like it's some sort of high--getting good deals, gaming the system.  I'm with you though, it's not worth the time/effort.


>Comparing Kanye West to Hitler.

I hate this place sometimes.


Can confirm, am Toro.


Be honest. Fuck being rude, its your wedding day and they made you look like shit. Something you paid for as well. They did bad, so they should feel bad.


>researhsal

>peopel

This is legit, folks.


Just threw out a stupid joke. Jesus fucking christ the people in this sub are downvote happy


The New Yorker should hire you to review farts the way they hire others to review books and movies.


Downvoted for niggering my valid comment (and opinion) for karma.


They both took an arrow in the knee.


Hmm...one of mine is *higher* than the other. Should I be worried?


k, i can downvote too, wheeeeeeeeeee


>I had a crush on a girl in college who asked me to fix her computer. I found her nudes folder and emailed it to myself, then fapped to it every day for the next 2 years. We eventually started dating and she sent me those same pictures and I had to act like they were new.

*slow clap*


#t=1s? LMAO, I didn't even bother clicking on any of the four or five of the exact same links you keep posting, but it IS hilarious that you're altering the URL to start the video at...1 fucking second!


The scene where patrick falls off the diving board, lands in the chocolate, and turns into a strawberry ice cream cone holds a special place in my heart.


...Really?

It sounds super disrespectful to the medium to listen to other music. When you go to the theater to watch a movie, do you bring in note cards with your own dialogue? When you read a book, do you write new characters in between the lines?


I think of 9gag as the annoying high school sophomore who gets all his jokes from his obnoxious brother, who just started college.


I do. I'm replying to his response right now.

Fuck you too, man. Wow, we've got such a great relationship going here.


I think it would be best if he became an outside cat


Well the swine flu vaccine damages your DNA, so I can understand her concerns.


No idea what you are on about. However "the penguin of doom" is an anagram of "unopened homo gift" so... good luck coming out! :D


I hope you mean the character


Reddit, we've made bigger things happen. Lets get this going!


Damn, one errant comma and you gotta jump a bitch.


There already is a Human Whale.

**YOUR MOM**


>le They had some bad experiences growing up.

FTFY :P


You been holding onto that joke since 91?


Wrong. Everyone should face trial. Murder is never justified.


Also this prevents a lot of particles from taking to the skies during a flush


I'm just too busy with work to bother reading that much when it's probably something that I don't care about for the most part.


Coming soon: Serve your prison term online


You really thought a pun thread could produce karma?

Edit: apparently produce isn't punny


*most of my cars*

Dude how many cars do you have? I'm genuinely curious.

EDIT: Holy shit glad I asked.


That's he is delusional and paranoid, with a bizarre vendetta and a penchant for writing long, halfbaked screeds filled with flat out untruth?


You bastard.  I was *crying* and you pulled that on me?!


>Redditor for 1 hour.

&#3232;\_&#3232;
Why do you guys upvote this?


That is absolutely fucking hilarious! Never have I saw that gif used at a better time. I up vote you hoping everyone can see your post and laugh as much as I did. Bravo!


You seem astoundingly stupid.  Good luck with that.


Throw some pancake bits in there and candied bacon. It would also be an excuse to give my kids ice cream for breakfast.

Edit: Holy crap, thanks for the gold.

/u/atoms12123 has informed me that according to B&J bacon will never happen, since it is not kosher. I'm very sad now.


I haven't done that once in this entire thread.


Do. not. give. her. ideas.


sorry but way to much work instead of putting a button there.


and, in an ever drier room, initiating a mega nosebleed


Is that a joke?

If not, no, it was Chris Paul actually.


When I saw classturbation, I thought for sure you were about to tell us how to get away with masturbating in class.


Came looking for some reference to LMFAO, wasn't disappointed. Have an upvote.


Uhh, I was more worried by rejected into the mile high club.

Thought this was gonna be really inappropriate.


Yeah what part of i nuked the whole thread didnt you get.


Epic. Let me know your steam username and I'll gift you a random game I have lying around. Do you have a wishlist available? My inventory has about 10 unused games from the last sale.

Edit: [Don't Starve](http://i.imgur.com/5MW6n7J.png) sent over, enjoy :)


If the register refuses to scan it, you just give the cash to the cashier and tell them to make the transaction in a week. Then you go home and play your awesome new3dsxl :3


There is no hotter person alive


wow dude hardcore stuff really touching. Upvote his post if you have a heart.


Must be the most heartbreaking thing ever. This might be a thing that I want to engrave unto my tombstone when I die. Btw, I'm glad someone is serious here.


Could tell your an older redditor because of Photobucket...seriously...photobucket.  I took a shower while the picture loaded.


If this happens, I'll unsubscribe from r/atheism because there clearly is a god.


Til butthurt 4chan want to be redditors call people faggots.


Enough of a redditor to know to hate on 9gag, at least.


That is EXACTLY my definition of humility. Thank you for putting it so eloquently.


I quite liked the simplicity of 'Pepsi'.


This article is intended to make people more comfortable with death panels.


Here's a shot of the voice of Blanky, Timothy E Day. A natural actor!
http://imgur.com/5d300


its the content that tipped me off. cops are dumb and formatting is not a good indicator.


No, idiot, they're made from buffaloes!


You used a period instead of a question mark.


"Do you know how much of an asshole I would be if it was socially unacceptable to hit me?" - bill burr


Its called socialism and its going to be the death of Ontario. They start taxing people making over $500,000. How long before its people making $100,000? Then $50,000? Its a slippery slide and in the end we are all going to pay for it. And this tax, to pay off the deficit, is already offset by more expenditures so its a complete waste.


There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge.


Is anyone really a fan? Lol my friends are sweating about the NATO meet.  Obeezy!


A lot of them were rapey Ruskies, but what the hell, God bless them too.


meme for you

http://i.imgur.com/oUtNyeb.png

edit: to the douchebags who flung a downvote my way, why don't you comment and not stay anonymous, you cowards? you afraid of being downvoted back? fucking pricks.


You still have/use a fax machine? I'd say you can chalk that up to another decision the OP shouldn't make :)


Well i'm a racist and I say I don't like black people


Wouldn't the barking and whining get annoying after a while?


pair that with a legendary coach constantly re-working the rules and the sky is the limit.


I'm not a dog. I'm an ostrich.


actuallythatsnotreallythejoke.png


Why not learn a real language that isn't Spanish...


Thank you.  Fucking killed me hahah


In their language he is Klavkiin, **Antborn!**

***Klavkiin***, ***Klavkiin***...


Oh, the irony of an r/politics Obama-bot mentioning someone else living in an echo chamber.

"You truly are lost."- Obi-Wan Kenobi

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2nzBwb5Cea4/T9KJYicYRFI/AAAAAAAARtU/ncNwyxEpAS0/s1600/march_of_tyranny.jpg


Can I ask a kind of gross personal question (science, of course)... Can you feel it happening?


Almost as hard as spending two years getting paid to do a job you can't do, so you just spend your time golfing and playing on the beach.


Then maybe you need to stop being David_Fake and start being David_Real.


How do you not see that using tampons as an insult (a product a huge percentage of women use as a normal part of day to day life) is implying that women/being a woman is negative?

I mean this is some STRONG cognitive dissonance. You just made fun of me for something that millions to billions of women do on a monthly basis, and are pretending that you didn't.


It's somehow less weird that she wanted to marry him in order to make money, than just wanting to marry him because he is a famous murderer.


I reposted a pic of your mom and reddit still upvoted.


I ordered a mouse the other day from Amazon and somehow it magically got to my apartment in less than 24 hours before I even left for work. I don't know how they did it but it was amazing.


They say that money doesn't buy happiness.


A modest proposal, really.


Being a gay virgin is impossible. You're not officially gay until you've shoved your manhood into another man's cavities.
Go ahead, downvote away.


The egg analogy is from a Dave Chappelle stand up segment where he talks of his dream to get botox done on his balls to get all the wrinkles out.

"Oh my god those balls are smooooth as eggs! Yes, yes I'll suck them."


OP delivered, but is still a faggot.


You definitely aren't doing it. He refused to answer any question that didn't pertain to his latest project. You're taking the time to answer replies of replies of replies and posting honest shit while tactfully promoting your latest project. You, sir, are doing it right.


You got it backwards! Pro-choice simply means "anti-life".

e: Morality is a very complex human construction and the reduction of multiple shades of grey to the black-and-white dichotomy that the media tends to champion is both damaging and dangerous.


What they going to do?, kill you?.


It should not be acceptable to use the words manscaping, procrasterbation, or (and this one is unrelated, but I really hate it) infotainment


>As is, women are told not to do that because it makes them look too aggressive or desperate.

By other women.


He's not trying to troll, there is a science behind that method of treatment.


That would require not turning it into bacon, a hard choice indeed.


Don't date a person who cannot consent or is significantly younger or older than you. There you go. There's my dating guidelines.


wow thats super fucked up. I feel like other mentally unstable people will see that and think hmm maybe i can get on the rolling stone magazine if i do something similar.


Dudes had a song called Staying Alive? That's ironic. Damn, I'm pretty badass for making a joke like that.


Trent Richardson's career


Do this, make the prize better then a console that has no games.


AMAZING! It is NOT like living at school. It's like living with 30 of your best friends and it just so happens that school is right there.


It's Blitzcrank. http://leagueoflegends.wikia.com/wiki/Blitzcrank_the_Great_Steam_Golem/SkinsTrivia


To be honest, I think those downvotes are from the Masons, who believe that such actions would be a serious and egregious misappropriation of perfectly good bricks.


facepalm

if you think these ads were good you probably liked the ending too


I wish I could convince someone I was a wizard.


Didn't know Stephano was German.


A diet that emphasizes rice, vegetables, fresh fruit and fish. They eat very little red meat, and milk/cream are almost completely absent. Serving sizes are considerably smaller and 'snack' foods consist primarily of nuts, dried fruit and pumpkin/sunflower seeds.

Plus it's harder to gorge yourself when you have to pick up all your food with fucking sticks.


>Elephants are smart ~~mammals.~~

Reptiles

FTFY


Human being here, that's not good.


> The headline, is the headline on the site. What do you think the headline says Mike?

It's your article, isn't it? The one you're quoted in? Since you're so absolutely convinced that only you are permitted to comment on it, why don't you enlighten us further?


Should really report that to his boss or even take it further if nothing happens.


why is it so hard to imagine being real? I btw am not american.. I'm in Iceland.. we do not take ourselves very seriously


each student wears a go pro and the footage is reviewed afterwards


Fucking disgrace referring to your pet as a karma machine

Edit: ITT: butt hurt people


Instead of U.R.F they release N.U.R.F.

All cooldowns doubled.  All mana/energy/health costs doubled.  Movespeed havled.  AS halved.


Amaz is in the wrong here, but thankfully not for anything you wrote.

The irony in actually using the words childish and immature is almost comical.


best buy follows a similar model.


Um, seeing as he could've just turned it off, I'd say it was uncool.  I also said the kids were dicks for driving the damn thing on the course...

Edit: you people change your minds faster than the speed of light


Yea, you got a free knife


Yeah, because it was soooo my fault that my ex cheated on me and lied to me about spending our money-to-buy-a-house fund on prostitutes.  Good on you!


My mom has a couple little ceramic gnomes in her bathroom and I noticed that anytime after my stepbrother had been in the bathroom, all the gnomes had been turned to face the wall.


Too late assfuck.  I've already called and emailed them.  You should be hearing from them soon.

[No free tv for you.](http://www.amazon.com/Samsung-UN46ES7500-Blu-ray-Player-Glasses/dp/B008EMMPPY/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1343257296&sr=8-9&keywords=Samsung+UN46ES7500)


The white kids in class will start wearing their hair like this within a week.


Sure. I am better than you honey.
You think your kids going to murder you if you don't give him drugs. You're fucking brainwashed.


I was thinking ScarJo


you are correct.  they don't like me they LOVE me.  and really, can you blame them for loving a man as handsome and smart as MadHiggins?


So an endless ocean of shit?


Guns can be illegal.

A milling machine and boring mill (that can make guns) are obviously still legal.

Your point doesn't make much sense.


I can't even fucking imagine that.  You're saying everything that happened to you as if it's no big deal like "Yeah I got chained up and wasn't allowed to stand for like a year..." and "there were fake executions and I thought I was dead"...

Truly, I don't even know how to begin thinking about that.  It really puts things into perspective.


Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; **or abridging the freedom of speech**, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.


Upboat for ponies. [](/awwyeah) Friends?


Then I bet those Brits are pissing themselves in heaven because they've created a super race that can survive in Australia.


But wasn't Lynch only 1 for 5 on 1 yard goal line rushes? Not good odds.


Talk about being down in the dumps.


that's fucking it?! that's all you have to do to get karma? Just quote things like people do in youtube comment section from a video you just watched 2 seconds ago?


if any cupboards or chests of drawers break, don't throw them away; put them in your toolshed. Use them to store your tools. If the hoover breaks, don't throw it away; put it in the toolshed. Use it to hoover the toolshed. Own a toolshed.


I read the Rolling Stones article on her, and I think she's a pretty cool person, and some of her videos are crazy/funny, but her songs are dull.

I'm also tired of this "Patron Goddess" bullshit that some gays keep falling for. We don't need a hetero woman to stand up for us, we have our own damn legs.


*ranchy music plays in the background*


no, you misunderstand.  there are 2 types of jobs in this world. useful jobs, and liberal arts ones.


Is that like night-crawlers?


It is so wierd, it looks just like my GF's pussy.


I think the other guys are Putin's security guards, trying to make him put his hand down.


I know, people on the internet aren't very good at taking jokes.


This was in Norfolk, England. It's far more likely he's just waiting his turn, to be honest...


You suck, I don't even play the game and my best healing was 23k. I played for about a week, easy mode.


I am Jack's gamma-irradiated muscles.


I would have liked to ask him how dull you have to be to actually enjoy WWE or anything similar


As an Australian, I have never heard of Salsas and would like to try this.


RON PAUL ALSO SAW THE RELEVANT USERNAME


This guy was indie before it was indie before it was mainstream


That's just creepy.

**Edit:** Apparently everyone here likes having their parent's listen to them having sex.


The 100th champion should be named phreak. All 6 of his recommended items should be trinity force


Protip - nothing anybody says on reddit ever happened.


Mad 'cause I called you out on your warcrimes you fuckin baby killer? Fuck you, fuck the US armed forces, fuck veterans and fuck America.


It never really bothered me that blockbuster was going out of business, but to see a local video shop which obviously took pride in knowing their customers goes down, it is really disheartening.


Do you hate psychopathic murderers?  Of course you do.  Even though they have a mental disorder, you still hate them.  So why is it so difficulty to understand hating gays?  It is simply a mental illness, is in no way normal, and it is okay to hate it!  For fuck's sake...


You'd fit right in. I saw 9-year olds drinking wine at lunch and nobody thought it was weird


Burying a dog up to it's neck in dirt?  It can't breath or move it's legs.  It's the same as the cat wrapped in plastic wrap from 4chan.


Isn't that why the British dumped their convicts on it?


People this Jewish should not be permitted to x.

People this leftist should not be permitted to y.

People this poor should not be permitted to z.

Because using the state to preemptively revoke civil liberties is *such* a good idea.


More than likely.  They'll sue the chapter, the national organization, and the people who actually did it.  When the insurance company covers the damages they step into the shoes of hotel ownership and have all the rights the hotel has.  It's called subrogation.


I will downvote anyone who says how long this person's been a redditor.


>[We wanted the game to have a greater focus on story](http://i.imgur.com/J8w06.gif)


No she should stay away. Once adopted the bio parent needs to respect the the now only stable parent this kid should knows rights to raise them.

Open adoptions are silly.


Well, once you've heard one black joke you've heard Jamal.


Oh you can? From the one cover shot? Get A load of this guy.


He would be known as the best mime ever.


Early onset bitchy resting face.


And why is our house always a fucking square? I didn't work my ass off and save my money for years so I could live in a box.

Ungrateful whore.


Sorry, didn't read the comments.


And hopefully without bloodshed. We all know how poorly things went in Libya and Syria (and Egypt) after people rebelled.


Thank you for stating the obvious.


He was built for speed, not for comfort


Yes, that makes sense - serial killers like John Wayne Gacy are real good since he's American. When will another one that has a fetish for neckbeard American redditors come up and rape you? One can only hope.


I'm amazed at how Reddit has thought of everything and made a subreddit for it.


Well champ.... it happened to me. I know its true. I'm too dumb to make some shit like that up...


And if this fails, shit on their windshield.


Fuck you people and your punthreads.

/downvotes every lame pun


GTFO mothafuckin Cinnamon Toast Crunch by the goddamned handful.


Guess she should have bought property if she didn't want to be subject to the whims of renting.


It felt dirty.  I'd feel like shit if I was an actual Lions fan.


The wage gap does not exist. Without context your second 'point' doesn't mean anything, you need to be more specific.


I wish she could love me as much as she loves sloths.


foot in the vagina, AMIDOINGITRITE?


This only further supports my theory that there are just two people on Reddit: me and one absurdly schizophrenic guy.


30 and married. i'm pretty awesome. my ears move.


Any scene. If I am on the call sheet, it is my favoritest.

Also: Any scene with Amy or Pratt or Aubrey or Adam or Aziz or Rashida or Rob or Retta. Or in my canoe. Or as Duke Silver.


He was expressing his constitutionally protected right to defend himself against the students.


I think I got in the bread line by accident. I married bread.


Here's a better shot:

[Enhance...](http://i.imgur.com/csIs6.gif)


Living on the TX coast near Louisiana I never know if people are talking about raccoons, black people, or cajuns.

Can't we just reserve it for actual raccoons?


HELLO FRIEND, MIND IF I BORROW YOUR SHTICK FOR SOME KARMA?


As an IT guy whose employer hosts their site on GoDaddy, my phone has been ringing constantly for a while now.


Let it go, Jesus Christ.


>I feel good that Im supporting not only my family but 2 others as well.

Hear, hear. You, sir, *are* a job creator.


Don't talk about me you reddit fucking retard.  Go get a job instead of giving blowjobs to your cat.


Thankfully, the blue whale doesn't experience the same phenomenon.


not to be an asshole but is this really appropriate?


"Say hello to my little friend..."

Jesus Christ.


kicked you 3 times bro. kicked 1 other person. Mad as fuck for being a dipshit.


fa fa fa faa fa fa fa fa fa faa


Why would your carry ever have a wriggles


Hi, I'm Timmy and I ***steal from my mom's purse***


No upvotes? LIVE YOU FOOL. LIVE


Ain't nothing like some good old fashion elemental cunnilingus...


I think the girl was dumb, but I'm thoroughly sick of this bullshit. Always being on high alert, probing citizens, and punishing everyone for for every stupid thing they say. How about the authorities use some common fucking sense? They could've easily found out who it was and see she was just some idiotic teenager. Why waste tax payer money on pursuing something so fucking ridiculous?


They will. My sister's old boss used to purposely overpay his bills by a penny so the companies would have to spend a few cents to mail him a rebate.


I don't think that's unilaterally true. You've heard of foxes and dogs chewing off their own feet to escape traps? It seems unlikely they'd try that, if it always resulted in death.


Really? A grown man punching a 13 year old in the face is justified because they used a mild curse word?


bitch tell me how you feel


The males also violently gangrape the females.


Everybody that has a custom piece I know disagrees with you. I wonder if the OP has actually asked the guy who got the original if he was ok with it beeing copied?


if u start a minor camp as amumu u are doing something wrong. u start at 1 buff to avoid being cheesed by the enemy jungler


Men logic: She thanked me for opening the door for her.

She wants my dick.


And that's when you look at her and say "And you're lucky I let you dance with me or even let you be seen with me you ugly cow."

Then again I wasn't exactly nice in school and avoided parties.


Is that your normal face?


This is the most epic comment ever.


So… you can't pat your head and rub your stomach?


Spot the cunt pole owner!


yeah, a blonde chef with heterochromia? he's going to drown in whatever genitals he fancies when he grows up.


> Show me where he praised them.

"Fairly well drilled in my books." He's praising them, calling them skilled marksmen. These animals DON'T deserve an OUNCE of another thought.  It's despicable.


See? This is friendship. Supporting your friends because you care about how they feel.
Edit: To clarify, I meant showing up and not being a grand douche about it. Criticism can be a very good thing, but not always.


You should probably just shut the fuck up, as its clear you don't know anything about the artist or her work.  Thats not the only photo she has taken.  In fact, she is quite known for taking racy nude or partially nude photos of her kids.

Fucknut.


This one: http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/cf-dafuq.gif


NA and superteam doesn't fit together. They would either be an allstar team from all regions or just cloud9.

edit: NA is waking up.


Slenderman has joined up with blue man group


Or you know, we could take responsibility for years of marginalized oppression. I know you won't get it or want to accept it, but the attitudes of you and this sub push more people to acts of violence than any one "nigger".

Your hate is the problem, not them.


Good. There's no reason to litter.


DEA think this is great?


Reminds me of when I was around 16 and my parents got invited to a dinner party. Not only were their friends pushing them to buy Amway products but their kids were trying to convince me to buy Amway products too. One of his sales pitches was "Bro, your mom will totally love the fact that your room is so clean and dust-free with the new Amway Furniture Polish."


Sorry but that song sucks cock ass fuck. but i love the Bush song and that one about tripping shrooms and how it enlightened you. good shit.


Didn't you hear all the whooping and hollering during the conference?  Most of them aren't "journalists", they're 22 year old bloggers with business cards they printed specifically for E3.


He's doing Avengers? That makes me sad. I was hoping it would be good, but it's going to be badly written dogshit. Thanks. I'll put it on my "do not give a flying fuck about" list


Fun fact: they intentionally cast someone tall as Gimli. Then when they needed to use digital or practical effects to shrink hobbit actors, they could shrink Gimli along with them at exactly the same scale. This resulted in short hobbits, a dwarf who's short but still notably taller than hobbits, and then humans at elves at "regular" height.


These are extremely minor compared with what women face, and show a lack of insight into your [male privilege](http://www.amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/)


All Hawks are winless in February.

(Seattle Seahawks 0-1)
(Atlanta Hawks 0-1)
(Chicago Blackhawks 0-0)


Lol. Stealing $2 does not give you the right to assault someone.


What the hell just happened?


Na, too maybe people wanted me back. This place was boring when I left.


Not if you enjoy the feel of warm, red mist on your face.


Says the Patriots "fan".


When Americans call a cold-on-the-cob a popsicle...


I know. I just meant it was similar in the approach and desired outcome.


Standing up at a wedding to take pictures with an iPad, and shot blocking the paid photographer.


Ah, bet there wouldnt be an issue if I didn't have time because I was in a Magic tournament.


It should have been a Pillsbury Toaster Strudel.


Ah, the good old Reddit switcharoo.


Hey look at these cat pics I took

http://i.imgur.com/O1tx0.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/K2VKb.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/lBgXM.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/US6Sk.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/9NyiH.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/1Y0V5.jpg

Why don't you love them


I hope you didn't end up covering Walter with her.


I bet that flight isn't looking so bad now.


Ctrl F "worth it."  Upvote. Get Downvoted.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!


> not being treated as suspicious

The police don't think so. Therefore, all of my fears and suspicions have simply *vanished*.


I call it make fun of people who believe in fairytales day, but I still love the fuck outa it.


Same thing happens to me.  It happens about once every 4 months or so, but these dreams always seem to come true, and sometimes years later, it's really creepy to experience something you dreamed about 3 years ago...


I don't support the mercenarias, er I mean "soldiers" any more than I support the war. You sign up to carry a gun and enforce theft and murder. How can you really feel justified?


This used to be a Jew joke if I remember correctly...


YEAH LETS PUT THIS NONVIOLENT OFFENDER INTO AN ALREADY OVERCROWDED FOR-PROFIT PRISON SYSTEM

SURELY THIS WON'T END BADLY


PhD in Pretty huge dongs.


While you are certainly on to something, as Americans aren't the only idiots on the planet, proportionally America contains more retards than any country in Western Europe. Just look at the way most people vote, favoring socially conservative issues over economic policies that would be in their best interest.


IAMA Tom Hanks AMAACA


Yea, they obviously aren't.

edit - Just sayin'...


But, this cop was amazing. If i was that cop i would have been much less civil. There needs to be more people in the world like that cop.


You seem to think that I am saying he is instantly completely anti Japanese, not mildly xenophobic like I am actually saying.


Where have you been all of my life, brother!?


this comment made my day! LOL


I wouldn't want to run into him in a dark alley.


It's a reference to a terrible anime series I first learned of from a grimy Cheeto stained shirt adorning the chest of a 400 pound neck beard. Come to think of it that's about the only time I see it referenced.


You get a lot of dogs caught in elevator doors I see.


You know who else is amazing and rational?

Do I need to say it?

No I didn't think so!


And without superfluous combat/shooting sequences. He didn't fuck around. Disarm or incapacitate them, two shots to the head or chest, boom, done, next customer. I love me some crazy fighting action a la The Raid, but Wick has this nice, concise way of doing things that I would actually believe from a trained assassin.


Theres no time for please and thanks yous in war and no time for smiles either. To many Marines lives to save by killing our enemy before they can kill our brothers.


>**PBS** is the real deal, whereas most other stations feel artificial and cobbled together by their producers.

FTFY


What are you trying to say? Your entire opinion is summed by a graphic?


I talk how stupid Mitt Romney all the time.

edit: Of all the things that I loved and hated about this one little line, I just couldn't handle that I had the M in Mitt written in lowercase, so I fixed that.


It's pretty fun, you should try it.


No, its a tactical turtleneck.


those terms are mutually exclusive


> It's ok to ask for a minimum height on dating profiles, but not a maximum weight

it's sad because only one of those is up to the person.....


As someone with a degrees in Biology, Chemistry, and Physics. S my D.

Oh and I hope you planning on getting your doctorate in one of those, because there are no jobs for people with bachelors in either of those fields unless you want to be making minimum wage cleaning up a lab.


Oo! My bf and I do this too!

"I see you driving round town with the kitty I love
and I'm like,
That's cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute"


no. it was a dick thing to do in the first place...

hate'm or not(doesn't excuse the cross check to the head), what Hartnell told Rupp was true.


Probably the fastest way to kill all deep sea life. I like it.


Nah dude she is kinda sentimental XD


it's like 1,000 spoons when all you need is a knife


Yup, all 8 philly fans that still watch the team. Besides them nobody knows who he is.


Want to hear a joke about my penis?

Never mind it's too long.


upvotes for use of word "vag" haha


You guys are noobs. I have Jamaicans playing Capture The Flag on my machine. I have proof because when I open task manager, I see ctfmon.exe


Sure, Michigan has 11 of them.


Also how did he get from Israel to gotham when he just climbed out of a hole in the ground with no money, equipment, or communication with anyone inside gotham. And how did he make it into the city after he arrived in America , and where did he get his clothes.


Goddamn you             .... same here


they hate us cause they anus


A guy who actually gets it, bravo. Apologies about the downvotes you're getting, the shit stainers appear to have overflowed here as well.

Actually based on the slanted wording of the post and links and the brand new account that posted this, it's most likely one of the butt hurt posted this directly.


What happened?! I was downloading doodle jump.


We need to compile Zlatan facts similar to Chuck Norris facts.


Also, are you *absolutely* sure she doesn't go on reddit? This might be as bad as her knowing you have a camera prematurely.

If you're here, thief... how big are your boobs?


teacher, billy used my crayon!


I think invading my mind with this image has done way more damage than his sweaty bacon-blasting sessions ever could.


In 60 years, HDMI will probably be obsolete.


http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/1oavtl/til_the_ceo_of_susan_g_komen_for_the_cure_makes/

There actually was a pretty insightful conversation about it, here.

The biggest issue being that the CEO continues to make a higher percentage of money earned, while less money goes to the actual research.  This has actually be an issue with them for years.


Thats a surprisingly shitty username for a supposedly smart person.

Shows again that engineers have a complete lack taste and creativity.

I dont wanna hate, but it is what it is.


Just got crazy goosebumps all over.


i'm pretty sure we could have a ban throwdown with [/r/politics](/r/politics) and come out unashamed.

This isn't a request.


"Dude, me and my friend ANUS_KATANA_RAPIST_CUNT go wayyyy back. He's one of my best buds."


why not just show your pussy? i mean this piece of shit artwork is horrible.


NARWALS NARWALS SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN CAUSING A COMMOTION BECAUSE THEY ARE SO AWESOME


No man you're meant to say "You're not wrong, your just an asshole". Even though I'm giving Chris Flop the treatment he deserves.


In around 5 Billion years, the sun will use up all its nuclear fuel and burn out.

This, of course, means that construction workers will need to finish I-40 in the dark.


That's how I interpreted it, considering that Hemingway was an atheist.  (He was also an addict, alcoholic, womanizer- so he may have been talking about any of those things.)


Is "Marrying into the local populous and raising families" a historically accurate account, or a euphemism for "raped the living shit out of the area"?


You know for a fact? evidence please and thank you.


Dude, if I was going to get secretly watched having sex, I'd love to have given that great of a performance and last such an adequate period of time.

Things aren't always so impressive.


Never worked in a restaurant have you?  Peters house of munch.  Stewie and the rat.  Its like that.  (Yeah, rats can not vomit, but the image is still good for conveying the feelings shared by kitchen/wait staff towards customers)


Trust me, they've seen worse...


Edit: please at least reset the downvotes :(((


Suicidal tendencies?

^edit: ^thanks ^for ^the ^gold!


>There are just so many other places and occasions to wear revealing tops. Try to hold off for one hour of class.

Spoken like a true whore. *bravo*


It's a close cousin of the [sorority elbow](http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1g9sfFuOm1qezulto2_500.jpg)


You are not being logical.  If drinking removes the ability to consent, then neither party can consent.  If neither party can legally consent, and sex is had willingly by both parties, both parties have committed a crime. They both did the same act, how can only one be innocent?  Be logical, be rational, give it a try.


Sounds like untreated mental illness. It sucks for everyone.


I've thought about writing a guide to it so that just to get people to recognize it and stop upvoting it. Either that, or so many people will start doing it that it becomes the norm and then people will actually start looking for quality comments instead of simple quantity.


Yeah! It's really a nice game to play and watch people play, but the social stigma against it makes it hard for me to talk about it freely :(


Ugh, you think you're so superior. How revoltingly hilarious.


How about the news scenes in Starship Troopers. Would you like to know more?


shut the fuck up, I wasn't the one who brought it up


Cause it's the future, dumbass


At what point was /b/ ever good?


Note to self: Go to NYCC dressed as giant chicken.

Attack Peter Griffin.

**edit:** Guy also has his own [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoAQUWy5T-Z9Nb8UVEwZDLw) channel. Check it out! (Thank you [stormakten](http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2rjpuh/real_life_peter_griffin_goes_to_nycc_2014/cngo2i3))


If you can afford a $400 dollar console, $60 dollar game and $60 membership. I'm pretty sure Internet shouldn't be a huge problem to upgrade


Definitely one of your more abstract works


Of course he went for the lowest bidder.  Do you think he would have found someone competent had he offered more money?

You get what you pay for, I don't really feel bad for white_gorilla.


"son, the important thing is: did you finish?"


Democrat Alec Baldwin ... [on how to raise a ~~16-year-old~~ 12-year-old pig.](http://youtu.be/8J0-ZatDHug)


Captain America: Civil War


oh my god!  someone stole/ran with your idea... oh my god... oh my god... call the stole/ran idea police... no seriously, you deserve mad credit... I mean... wtf... damn... glad your idea saw fruition, but still... isn't a shame that creativity and implementation don't always meet?


For when you want to spice up your sex life.


Again - I have read that there is a higher chance of a healthy child with natural protections from the biological mother.


The latter is how the game is normally played


My problem with gays is that they're fucking arseholes!


t. one time i fell asleep and woke myself up with a very loud fart which echoed through the church.. I honestly thought my mom was going to kill me.


Dude, it adds to the discussion, I'm not the first person who complains about people downvoting because they don't agree with something and I won't be the last so... deal with it.


Christ, the Internet is collapsing in on itself!


What has that got to do with anything? You're pissed because somebody doesn't agree with you. Grow up.


I always pee sittingdown. You don't have to aim, you can chill out, no splash risk, split beams to nothing, etc.

Why not?

Public restroom are another matter.


did it make a squish sound?


The OP is the dude that found the picture on 4chan or some other forum.


What are you, a fag?

^^/s


Typhus is very contagious. The Nazis would have murdered them all if it were just a few cases, but a disease that contagious in a population of 8,000 would have quickly and easily spread to them as well. They just quarantined the area.


I'm a pretty liberal Christian, which is why I frequent this subreddit, but seriously? This post as well as this comment is offensive and ignorant. Just because you don't believe in my God doesn't mean you need to ridicule my beliefs by altering my sacred sayings.


I'm 112 years old!  SHOW ME BOOBS GODDAMMIT


I logged in just to upvote this.


HE TRIED TO MELT MY HEART.  THATS ATTEMPTED MURDER


Also inb4 you  nig nogs think that I give a fuck about my karma


I just love that you don't know.


I concur completely...Dip is too gross to even consider, and while I've had some nasty-ass bong water, ya know what? That shit would've gotten you ripped if you had drank it, so bottoms up with the bongs!


And now I have a fact about otters.  Thanks otterfacts.


Love Doctor who
1000000 x Thumbs up


Real talk: Do you really think it's about a dating **website,** cause that's kind of adorable


I hate that every single fucking person at my high school is reading this shit now. So god damn annoying listening to people talk about it. I got it recommended to me in 8th grade and I didn't read it then. All of a sudden people are acting like they fucking love books because a shitty movie is coming out. /rant


I think he has ruled that out.


This doesn't contain an explanation of the difference.

A religion is just a big cult that existed for a long time.


I love that you waited 6 years to confront the horse.


English is my 3rd language..

more to the point, it looks like the horse tried to take a chomp out of your side.


You've just set the bar for the highest offensiveness per word ratio. Holy shit that's amazing.


more so that Fox

@terroh8ter, I'd respond to you, but they like to ban people who disagree here....


Alright Mr. European, we get it, America is weird.


O'course, you think of a hilarious comment and then someone else posts it.


There was a thrift store I used to go to that wrote prices in Sharpie on the books. Mother fucking fuckers.


Your useless filler comments. Don't make them


Good guy big brother. :')


You don't really deserve a second chance. There are many people in prison right now for much less. You should go take their place imo.


This was clearly done so the video's file size would be lower after compression. The guy's a pro.


Damn, i thought all sub 20 played riki/bh 24/7.


At least she can feel one of your balls.