Juicing will help too. Saw the interview this was from and his cheeks looked swollen like he just got his damn wisdom teeth out.

Your downvotes will become your tears when you find out I'm right in 10 years


No, sorry, I don't recall there being another Indiana Jones movie after The Last Crusade.


No someone posted it on here. I didn't think it was FIXED. so i figured some novelty account that automatically posts the old picture would have already.


Fixed:

http://i.imgur.com/mUzes.png


In California, the rights are sorta equal; both employer and employee can give no notice and terminate employment.  As with most of those criticisms, it turns out that this doesn't usually happen because there are consequences to it.

It's really a question of whether you want freedom or a nanny state.


I'm Korean and Canadian so I always apologize when I beat someone in starcraft.


exactly.  i want to know the best way to rape my daughter.  she's 8 right now--one more year and she'll be ripe.  i need to brainwash her into liking it and doing it all the time.  ideas?


I do hope you're maintaining sufficient levels of excessive politeness so as to not damage our well earned rep.


> TO THIS DAY I WOULD SHIT MYSELF IF I WAS IN THE WOODS AND HEARD THAT SWAN CALL THE DILOPHOSAURUS MAKES.


that's why you're so striking.


I'm neither to none of you, hunters.


Fuck my ass with a chainsaw...


Is that the list that /b/ put out?


And this is why reddit is an absolutely terrible place to develop your worldview. By design, the most popular opinion becomes truth whether or not it's actually true.

Reddit is perfect for hobbies and memes and baby animal pictures. But if you want to develop an accurate picture of the world around you, I'd look elsewhere.


I came looking for this comment. Surprised there isn't more upvotes.


Shit. In Cleveland we get to buy new quarterback jerseys 2 or 3 times a season.


This is getting ridiculous. You guys need to understand that women just don't abduct and molest children. This is why parents aren't afraid of women interacting with their kids. Whereas men pose a very real threat to the safety of their children. 98%+ of child molestation is done by males. This is a fact, deal with it.


My chemistry teacher always said "The more hair I lose, the more head I get."


Nope. I'll still hold my beliefs about vaccinations. Im not against them but I am delaying some, and avoiding others for my son. I'm not worried about autism, but rather other negative health effects associated with vaccinations. I think the autism story was a clever way to distract us from the real dangers of some vaccinations. Let the downvoting commence


I don't know where the hell you guys are buying your chloroform...


Holy shit!1!!!1 They stayed a whole 30 mins?! What pricks for thinking they could come in to a dining establishment that was still open and stay a whopping **30 mins.** Grow up. If that pisses you off so much, get out of the business.


Trust me, I am not someone you should trust.


This is why reddit is fucking awful. You say something hilarious and these hipster psuedo-intellectual faggots downvote you because they have no sense of humor.


Mexican-American of course.


Hey, I noticed you are probably female. Let's sex?


How do you pick up jewish girls in the holocaust? With a dustpan.


Except the time he tea bagged an athletic trainer at Tennessee


We should have done it 100 years ago then when it would have cost just a couple million.

damn inflation


Cute? Really?

Edit: fags


Here's a dead, rotting cow corpse. Whoever does the best job putting makeup on it gets to keep it.


The biggest, thank you for being super critical about a post. C U Next Tuesday


To me, this man is a childhood icon that has influenced my sense of humor and appreciation for the accordion. He will never simply be "this guy."


>me and the Lucario just paused the game
>me ... just paused the game
>me just paused the game
>me paused

Please.


If a girl told me to fuck her like I hate her I would orgasm really quickly then roll over and fall asleep.


I approve of your motives.


"You can donate this... Oh wait, this one is working fine; I'm keeping it myself." lol


Odd metaphor. As far as I know no one has died in the playing of this game, just Bioware's reputation.


> I like how she fired the baby out of her ass like a civil war style cannon

http://i.imgur.com/NaVpOpb.jpg


To be  fair, shes just doing what everyone wants her to do. Its assault charges cause women never want dudes to do that, but guys always want chicks to. lets stop pretending.


This may have been part of some female college banter.

'I'm gonna fuck your 16 year-old brother".

"NOOOOOO!"


Careful about comments like these.


Dexter see's the purge as a nuisance. His internal monologue compares it to tourist season for murder. Instead of killing anybody, he goes out, watches all the fucked up shit people do, and makes a list.


I think he is just overcompensating...


I added something that was [missing](http://i.imgur.com/BzGus.jpg).


I used to favor the PUNCHCAT build, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


And that's the way I wrote it. Damn it feels good to be a gangster.


No, the exception applied to all registrars, including GoDaddy's competitors. Plus, SOPA only applied to Foreign sites, so GoDaddy was already exempted. You're working off of month-old rumors that were never true.


I wonder how many times he practiced


Haha I didn't even notice that. Leave it to reddit to call me out some random shit. Anyway, he's some tool from my frat in college.  Kid tries too hard. So when either my good friend or I see this ish pop up on the gram we like to share some chuckles over it. Just thought my friends at cringe pics would enjoy a chuckle as well.


I would pay good money to see Dotcom launch out of the top of his mansion in a rocket powered bubble car hissing, "Next time RIAA! Next time!"


Oh yes, because having a higher than 2:1 TD/INT ratio means that. Fucking loser.

Edit: Packers, 9ers, Pats, Iggles, Cowgirls, Redskins, and probably Jet fans down voting. Lololol


"I'm just gonna choose to believe that the cleaning is a peace offering rather than a coverup."


~~“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe~~

**“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi**

Edit:

*Reddit has zero sense of humour*


It's a huge part of lady deodorant marketing actually.


I'm close, can I get a blowjob out of it? seeing as your lower hole might be somewhat resembling a butcher shop.

Or if I slide you a 20 on top, maybe when you get back we can do anal?


"Music? Do you mean TEEN MOM?"


Not here what?  You censoring my freedom of speech?


>rolled away into the night

Being handicapped has never sounded so cool...


Telling people your proposal is like telling them your dreams -- in reality no one gives a shit.


No but I do say sammys.


I was top of my class at dog academy.


"why the fuck are you speaking english, and what the fuck is a box"


Yeah and paint were not invented in your area? What about stickers? But i like the story very much and needed that laugh ( :


Dont sweat it. He found a way


Well the drug cartels are going to execute snitches regardless of the consequences, so might as well legalize murder so no one gets caught in the crossfire. Keep in mind that I view a fetus as a living being, being small and dependant does not make it not a life. But reddiquette be damned, downvote away at my different opinion.


It sounds like your boss was about to murder you, not let you free.


A cable is a cable. Are you really that misinformed to believe that they are using *special* cables?? Conductor of electricity is conductor of electricity, case closed. When it works, *why fix it*?

redditors.. sometimes you make me facepalm


There's gotta be a front page button around here somewhere.


Who spit in your bean curd


This happened to me except instead of a house it was a computer and instead of people there was nobody and oh god I am alone.


I made a comic about trolling, not a comic responding to something I didn't think was funny to try and whore karma


But videos that had existed for hundreds of years would have accumulated views over centuries


Just in case you insist on being dense, let me be clear:

It is my opinion that "introvert" is a good word to describe someone who is "too introspective." It is the same fucking thing.


Being homeschooled has its perks I guess.


right except we have not heard the moms side. Maybe the dad was cheating and that is why he paid up with no fight. There are two sides to every story and we have only heard one.


>~~New life goal: take a shit.~~

Life goal accomplished, now what?


Must be because you're saying things about downvoting. It magically attracts more downvotes. See, you got a downvote too for your useless response.

Edit: My hypothesis has proven to be correct! Success!


He even barks to let his owner know he's ready to roll.


>Haha, I think 14-year-old you handled this pretty well, OP, and just wanted to chat more :)

EDIT: Everyone cool your damn jets. Jokes people, jokes.


This is the opposite of mourning wood.


its sad that you probably haven't had enough mathematical training  to understand your arguments are complete bullshit. as somebody with a lot of math and science training, i feel sorry for people as fucking retarded as you.


I wonder who that lady gets to wipe her own ass.


I used to donate tens of millions of dollars to Proposition 8 in order to preserve the sanctity of marriage for thousands of proudly Christian Californians, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


The Hobbit: An Unexpected Trilogy


You do realize that DMGs are still generally quite bad players? You dont need hacks to get better.


Women's deodorant doesn't stain clothes?? If this is true, then I'm switching over.


She has a face for radio though...


it's the lack of any punctuation between 'this' and 'I'


YOU BEAT ME TO THE PUNCH DAMMIT! HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY COMMENT. (i hope my use of caps lock has scared you into never making this mistake again)


Did the bot just nominate itself, or....


My girlfriend wears thigh highs almost every day ;) I'm a sucker for them.


Sadly, my offer hath been buried amongst other YouTube comments. I'd truly love to have the guy on and jam with... the music on his channel/SC is pretty sweet.

If anyone here knows him, please forward along the invitation!


Okay, that's a pretty negative view to have of becoming an adult and doing adult things.


Movies are such a shitty date. I always take girls out for lunch at a little hole-in-the-wall cafe I know. It's quiet, looks cool because she's never been there, cheap, and the owner knows me well so he always makes me look good.


Tosh took it too far.  Yeah, he's a comedian and I think he's funny, but he really shouldn't have said it would be funny if an audience member was gang raped.  It's just incredibly insensitive.  He came off like Michael Richards (Kramer) during his racist rant on stage.  He could have stopped her from heckling without being such an asshole.


Its marvelous.  I used to have to pump my own water.  Turning on a faucet for fresh water anytime you need it still amazes me.  I am so thankful


Still just a cartoon bro lol


it can also get you high when you put it on your nipples


Probably because it wasn't funny.


like dis if you cry evrytime


Someone will think twice about it next time they're in a bar.


POW! Right in the kisser!


Vacation in Sweden. See cute-looking longhaired blonde from behind. walks up to her.

aaaaand it's a guy....


LMAO! Cows are the dumbest animals on the planet. If you subscribe to the "you are what you eat" motto, then it explains perfectly why Americans are so stupid.


His beautiful shirt!

Jenny is such a dingaling!


I love it when this troll gets upvoted like this. Look at his comment karma and history bros.


Cause I'm king of the bus stop.


If they're a teen who is so sexually active that they can't even control their urges long enough to open and use a condo*m*, they're a slut.


Originally he was gay and black.  And we actually drew him purple in his first show. But we thought it was too much so we just kept him gay.


AIDS might be worth it.


Change your phone name to /u/goblin-dick-smasher


This deserves more upvotes.


Seriously get over it. The fact that she was honest with you, but after you pulled yourself together she is attracted to you again means she is a much better partner than what most people get.

It is a lot better to have a faithful partner calling you out on being a flat slob than a cheating one who ignores your relationship instead of working on it.


Still selfish as fuck.


So: An elderly man showed you his secret tree, which was covered in barnacles and topped with a giant doughnut?

Throw in a talking lion, and you've got yourself a classic in children's fantasy literature.


………is that why you're posting shit on reddit instead of watching match 2 because it's basically already over? ;)


But look at my budding Karma!!  Find ways to make every negative into a positive...within reason.


There is no urban legend there, you are full of crap


Good guy doctor
Cleans up birthing woman's shit before she ever even notices.
Lets her go on with her life thinking it never happened.


Still better than Ryan Mason.

yeah, Wilshere has been injured for about 2.5 years of his career. and he's still an excellent player.

Spurs fans are showing themselves up here. Mason is a Championship standard player who's been given a run of games.

Anyone who thinks Mason is close to Wilshere's standard is utterly, utterly deluded.


Well, the author's name on the site was a bit of a tip off. And him saying, "I didn't think I'd get caught." And common sense.

Mostly the third one.


Errr ... WHAT? I think you misunderstand...


Are you serious? I was trying to be a smartass... The smartass section of my brain is smarter than I thought.


**UM, why are awe all doomed? RarneyBubble is a stupid liberal douchebag and this caption fucking blows harder than kn0things mother**


>I've got a friend shooting ... lots of 9-11 people and i'm sure he would be interested in your uncle.


Sorry, but who the fuck are you? Never heard of you and you are shitting a guy who is better at SC2 and more known than you. I suppose you got a rich daddy who got you a place in FXO team and think you are a god. Jealous idiot.


This is actually true.
##*Source*


Whtaever man, I'm too drunk to look shit up. Aslo, you should use wolframalpha.


> you would find these type of reactions with any gadget

The important thing to note here is most of those people were *holding their own identical phone* at the time.


FFS spoiler.  hate you so much honestly.


um...yeah some extra square footage is great but with your suggestion, where would they put the pond with several hungry alligators?


Didn't read. 'More Great Moments In White Trash' don't interest me. Prolly fiction anyway.


but you all had pencils. SO THE PROBLEM WAS SOLVED THANKS TO CAPITALISM


hey stop karma whoring dude

Edit: lol wow reddit why do you upvote this butthurt diva queen karmawhore? He has enough karma as it is.


Still not retarded enough to bang you.


That's not really my responsibility to prove anything.  Spend a few days surfing reddit, and you'll see articles posted almost consistently.

Furthermore, you have a couple hands with fingers capable of typing in search boxes.  Feel free to do your own search for proof either for or against your argument, and draw your own conclusions.


They like Milk-Bones, going for walks and sniffing other dogs' butts.


It's all computing just fine.

And I'm not your 'bro.'

What are you having difficulty with?


Was your dad a pirate?


Lol. You're not explaining anything to me. Knowing this shit is part of my job. You clearly have no idea what pharmacokinetics are. It's pretty funny to see a layman thinking that he knows something.


Adam Sandler plays both the husband and wife.


You would find me celebrating.  This is football.


I'm straight but the second photo makes me hungry.

If dick tasted like sausage, and I could eat it, literally, I'd be gay yesterday.

Basically what I'm saying is I really want some sausage right now


Sex and gender are not the same thing. So, I guess you don't know much.


Spokeshave. Apologies, Shakers.


Get fucked you stupid piece of shit.  Try contributing instead of spouting *bullshit*.


> Over 10 years later and I still remember it.

The compliment, or the passionate evening with the random guy?


> playing great at a **decent side**.

That's very generous.

He's already good enough to be in the first 18 at a prestigious club. Tottenham isn't one.


I am so glad I used an alt account for this.


Whose in the Superbowl bitch!


And 1975 people would go, "Sure, whatever man...wait...no, no, am I from the future?"


Sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


The indoor jacket... the robe. Ever seen someone outside in a robe? They look like they just escaped from the looney bin. "Ah, just getting the paper." "Before the monsters do, right?"


Well there's that, plus all the other times people opposing doxxing have been downvoted, plus that time when LordGaGa doxxed Laurelai in #subredditdrama for fun


That's what I was hoping to see


nooo thats not for 911../


No, only redditors are smart and brave enough to recognize the duck face as annoying.


God dammit man.  You are such a fucking pussy.  Every time I read one of your posts, it makes me want to break your fingers off.


1. Eggs benedict. Classic.
2. Can you poach an egg?


My great grandmas sisters boyfriends uncle owns a Ferrari and I get to drive it once a week. Sure buddy, sure. I hope you like driving that miserable shitbox with <200 HP LOL


In tomorrow's news, Keihl's overtakes Apple as #1 company in the world.


That was a great one and I know it.


But those miles will be run looking really really, ridiculously good-looking.


Downvoted for asking for upvotes.


Can't a guy just dance with his guy friends in peace.


I'd say Cazorla tops him so far


To be clear, the "interview" should be at a restaurant. Don't hold yourself to the joke forever. Just have a date.


They were just picking the bugs out of it.


/╲/\╭ʕ(๏◉◕益◕◉๏)ʔ╮/\╱\ **WHAT DID YOU SAY?!**


No. They do, what the fuck are you on about.


"wow this guy really knows what he's talking abou---....oh ..."


I used to look too unusual, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Umm, like, are your cameras fair trade, organic, and are they raised free range?


You must be very easily bothered then.


Quail is delicious. There's nothing shameful about this story.


>Are you seriously stalking me just so that you can be contrarian when I express displeasure with a bot?

No.

>Is it your bot?

Yes. I'm babysitting it since I just got it working.

e: hopefully it doesn't malfunction once i go to sleep


My biggest pet peeve is supervisors who are too afraid to act like supervisors.


Rangers can beat me all they want, I've never respected them in any game anyways.  I just imagine a 12 year every time I see one... is that wrong of me?


way before it was cool


Latin. Art theory. Religion. Usually not the hard sciences.


not only did she do it on her own - she did it three times


Unless his kids ran over to another table and poured a glass of wine all over a woman's dress I think it's pretty dramatic to say they could have "ruined someone's night." Nobody enjoys listening to a crying baby during dinner but it's not the end of the world.


Checking in for Diablo 2. That game basically occupied ages 12 to 15.


calm your puss, pal. this dude is going to kill himself and i want to watch.


They're rolling them too tight!


Where did he say otherwise?


And this ends the politest conversation the internet has ever seen.


Hope you guys get eliminated early. Regi and Dyrus are the most annoying and immature pros in all of League. TSM fans were fucking annoying the past few events. FUCK TSM.

edit: the people ddos'ing tsm are my heroes.


Very tight. Parking lot was packed with cops and Secret Service. Every student was searched before allowed entry. I remember that I wasn't because my backpack was a plastic seethrough so the inspector laughed it off and allowed me in


Yep, just a pile of 1337 haxxor techie crap!


It's the American black market economy stupid.


twist:  He knew you were smart but knew you just needed a kick in the ass.


That's cute and all but it sounds like you're trying really hard to justify the harboring of international terrorists. Whatever, your guys' fucking problem.

Edit: Germans, even efficient with their downvotes haha.


OP's title was really misleading.  The photos were taken by Mike Brodie, who hopped trains from age 17-22, and they're now in a book called [A Period of Juvenile Posperity](https://twinpalms.com/books-artists/a-period-of-juvenile-prosperity/).  OP's photos were taken originally from [Mike Brodie's photo gallery](http://mikebrodie.net/projects/gallery/).


I have literally no involvement with GamerGate, so I don't know how it relates to me or how it "put my corrupt shit on the streets." I don't even play games. As a third party, y'all care about the stupidest shit ever and you really need perspective on the world.


...So you're the kinda guy who laughs at a funeral?


Why is this shit getting upvoted?


Yeah, you should totally do that.

It's not like Reddit keep track of your comments. Or you could still find them after deletion with the Internet Archive.

Google doesn't keep your search history either, it would be weird to sync it between multiple computers and/or browsers.

Oh, I almost forgot - your ISP has no data on you either.


**tbh i dont thing neone knows what ur talking about thats probably why u are gettig so many downvotes**

*edit: wow. Dvs for trying 2 help someone. Thanks alot reddit*


It is benjamín button


This is the first time I've seen it.


dude what if your mom slept with your dad to get into the club and you're the result?

what if.


At 13-24

Edit: Commence the downvotes for saying a 13-24 team isn't legit. LOL this sub


Lemons is a weird name for a cat...


I AM AN MOTHERFUCKING KING OF THE INTRANETS, NIGGER


(1) Nothing, but I'll dance around the question with some bullshit non-answer.

(2) My lack of skill and terrible work ethic.

(3) Probably just browse around on reddit and think of a new excuse for the next meeting.


LLLOOoooolLLLLL FaaaMILY GuY oollooll I gET teH rEFerENCE LLOooollL Sooo WItty!!!

[cHeck oUT le Rgage Comic] (http://i.imgur.com/0Tlq5.png)


"You should stretch your ankle for 10 minutes every morning after you wake up and every night before you go to bed."
"Okay, how long will that take to fix it?"
"No, no. It's not going to fix it. You just do that now."


She wants her daughter to eventually get married and have children. I know its sexist thinking, but some people in this world have a mindset of bettering society.


He also loves kittens and Neil DeGrasse Tyson.


My kids knows more than *you* about the Internet. I'm not teaching her anything.


I felt a great disturbance in the force, as if millions of revenge plans suddenly were combined and were suddenly outdone.


I'm not saying they weren't assholes, but your response was disproportional. Flicking them off would've been appropriate. But in you scenario, a comparable situation would be if someone called me a douche, and I burned their house down. Sure they were hurting me, but that gives me no reason to retaliate much bigger than what they did.


Hah!  Jokes on you.  I dropped out of college.


You guys are cold SOB's ! Good on your husband for wanting to take of your mom! There are some things that are way more important then money and that's family. Good luck living with yourself if you find out your mom is going hungry and living in a shelter. I sure couldn't, but to each there own.


Sounds like someone is going to re-tile my bathroom.


When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say.


The 5 main features are:

- Blackmail the user

- Blackout his screen

- Blacklist his IP


No kidding, the Senate has no, zero, nada rights to the internal communications of the executive or judicial branches. But, please Democrats, please keep screaming as loud and long as possible about this inside the beltway stuff. The independent and moderate swing voters hate it!!!


Heh.

> "Hey kid...what some of the good stuff? I've got it. Shakespeare, Bronte, Dickens, whatever you need, I'm the guy."


firstly what i said wasn't a complaint, i just said how did he get downvoted -29 points and called people pussies. But i guess my downvotes at -84 kind of top his lol.


a dead one... medium rare.


The paint's the punchline, faggot.


What the FUCK was that last one again?


"Conservative" generally means "The government tries to stay out of our business and the market"

-vs- Liberal, where government power is encouraged.


Wow, that's cruel. I'm sure she'll get the message.


Oh yeah that totally explains why he was hired on by valve.

And dota 1 should be retired to  encourage people to play dota2, it's why you don't see people playing 3 year old CoD games online.


Fuck Apostolate and the 200 Chinese child labor slaves that take turns managing his account.

**Edit:** I want to take this opportunity to say that /r/politics ritually fellates Obama.

Go fuck yourself /r/politics.


Men's Rights isn't so much about equality as much as having all the toys and not wanting to share.

But sure. Men get a totally shitty deal in the world today so who am I to deny you the right to complain about it?


> The fraction of cocaine users over the age of 12 is about 0.7 percent.

That can't be true. 99.3% of all cocaine users in US are under 12 years old?

    Edit: oh great, my most upvoted comment of all time is a joke about kids who die because of cocaine overdose.


Probably overdosed on KFC anyway


Dude. There has to be boundaries.


Oh. Yeah. See there's the socially acceptable step of screenshotting and posting, but once you instagram it, it's unacceptable. Give me this list, people, I'm way behind the times apparently.


If the temperature of the ice is above absolute zero, then never.  But even if it's at absolute zero, it's still never.  You can approach absolute zero "asymptotically" but never reach it because to reach it requires something colder than it to bring the temperature down to it.


To me it seems odd that some countries allow trans people to serve, but the most advanced military in the world can't figure out how.


This is the saddest thing I've read on Reddit today.


A white **atheist** male.

Not that any argument I have hasn't been disproven already.


On the contrary, they taught them quite a bit.


This is why mathematics is useless and infinity is a sham

Edit: why are people downvoting me?

Edit2: Downvoters can go fuck yourselves with your "poles" and other false singularities

Edit3: Now I'm being voted up! Wow at this rate I'm going to get a an inciteful comment award. Thanks guys! I always knew dispelling falsehood as established as mathematics would be controversial .!


There are two major products that came out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.

-- Jeremy S. Anderson, UNIX systems administrator,


Sorry, but how is that hilarious? Cute kid though.


He punches you in the face, you take his woman. Excellent work, sir.


That was nice of Coheed.


>Fattest faggot ~~best boss~~ ever. Wu tang.

FTFY, canker blossom.

EDIT: Verb tense agreement.


I can tell from your font that you can't afford it.


Just downvote me and stop messaging me the same thing. I don't care if you would rather be raped, that's wasn't even my point.


It recharged using the tears you shed trying to complete the Rainbow Road levels on Super Mario 3D World.


I Think some dimwit - probably from the colonies - mixed up Austria / Australia again


that's a pretty good question. i suffer from panic attacks in a business where that sucks.


sorry, but i'm just tellin it like it is. wtf is hijacking a comment?

and yeah the only problem is that same logic works with literally everybody else on the planet too... are we gonna really do this for every celebrity on the off chance they'll see it? you'd have a much better chance at sending him an email.


It's awesome! Buy's a shitload of unhappiness repellent.


autists have autism and don't matter because they are autistic. them getting offended is irrelevant. all you have to say is 'you're autistic, you are wrong. take your ritalin while I go get your handler to wipe the drool up off your keyboard' simple, really


This isn't everywhere? I--I'm so sorry.....


Imagine the satisfying *scrape scrape* when you run your fingernails over them.


You actually made me say "Oh, fuck you" out loud once I finally looked at your username.


What do you mean in the back seat?! What, just cause he's black?


You had her killed for that?!?


thx! because of alcohol abuse, i did not have enough brain cells to fill in the white spaces! DERP


I don't think about anything when I wake up.


That old guy was probably homophobic : (


People have already started persecuting Trans Fats.


Birth control is around 9 dollars a month.


I have a strong desire to strangle pageant parents. How are baby beauty pageants NOT a form of socially accepted pedophilia? HOW?? It's absolutely sick.


Kill yourself already.


Can't beat that logic.


Do you not believe at all in rehabilitation? We should try to help them see the errors in their ways, not wipe them from the earth. Killing them will only give their followers propoganda material.


Because drugs are bad, mmkay? Except the good drugs, like alcohol.


no reason to make people watch a video when a simple description will do.


Holy shit i just realized how much i look like hitler


ERTS PRERBERBLER TER GERT ERTERNTERN...


SUFFOCATE THEM IN YOUR BOSOM


notice you're wrong you fucking moron.


I would be a fisherman....


> pull shit like this on regular basis.

When would that be?


*Don't think about Zuckerberg, don't think about Zuckerberg, don't think about Zuckerberg.*


Doesnt lie you say?....[That checks out.](http://emotibot.net/pix/5084.jpg)


"I was defenceless with two trays of drinks."

No, you were fully loaded.


Happy Birthday, Dyrus.


By your taking delivery in Europe they are not exporting the car, you are. Individuals don't pay the same export taxes that a corporation does. Most European car companies will discount the price of the car by about 7%, which I assume is roughly the taxes they save. Volvo instead buys you the plane ticket, but it's about the same I would guess.


> ~~She is freaking awesome in the Celebrity Roasts!~~

> I'm a douchebag who actually enjoys the Celebrity Roasts!

ftfy


I just wanted to say thank you for your service. My brother was a crossing guard during the Iraq war.


Excuse? It was a rule. People? One dude. The rest of ya'll rage quit.


gameboys are harder to clean than fingers.


I have two first languages puto. I'm true rich American gardener.


Just tried this, can't believe it really worked!


hahaha the movie was so good vote for pedro lol **yolo**


I think that's just because you're a girl lol


But isn't karma the _only_ cause? /thatguy

EDIT: I adore the irony of this moment. Literally laughed. My wife thinks i'm mad. Thank you for this :D


It's okay, charizard.


If I manage to outlive you and not suffocate on cheetos, I will rip a picture from Deviantart and post it here for karma, uncredited, in your honor.


Have you seen Scott's tots???


As I said, we don't care how famous someone is. Our top post at the moment is some random artist who draws cat pictures, and the post after that is some guy with a medical condition that makes him sweat. Below that, we've got an earthquake survivor. How famous are those guys?


Specially when it was a 26 page document.
>The 26-page document, which was found in the garbage at Mr. Nisman’s apartment, also requested the arrest of Héctor Timerman, Argentina’s foreign minister.


Proud to say I was part of that raid.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMC6gcWu2LM

for the non-australians


yeah, id hit that... (and not with a jeep)


Call the cops, we've got the solution.


Put up a spoiler dag dipshit.


Skooma. Not even once.


Right?! The gnome one is my least favorite and he picked that one to build :(


Better thank the hacker. You got your life back.


Hahahahah.

Maybe I can convince her to cage them. This is so fucked.


That does not seem like a tool for beginners.


It's something fun and silly, but I guess people have too much inhibition. "Oh man you are like totally lame hurr durr."


speaking of lego, the chances of standing on lego is reduced by 50%! plugs are also no longer a threat!

If anyone fancies [donating](http://www.justgiving.com/Head-Shave-for-Abe) to the cause, it would make my week if just one person donated :D I love reddit :)


Worst comment I have ever seen on reddit.


I'm 22 and didn't know this until 39 seconds ago


Aw, that means that's 4 cats at the shelter that won't be adopted now.

Most shelters in the US are at full capacity and taking new animals every day.

What happens to those 4 shelter cats now?


What exactly was the job of the safety patrol? My school never had this or hall monitors and the student body government was basically a popularity contest that didn't really do anything so I love insight from people whose schools actually have them power.


**THIS IS WHAT THE FAR LEFT LIBERAL EDUCATION SYSTEM HAS BROUGHT TO AMERICA!  DRUGS, GAY CHILD SEX EDUCATION, AND EMOS LIKE THIS THAT SHOOT UP SCHOOLS.**


You had me at "offer to shoot his kids". Then you lost me.


I swiped 14,000 and got 5 matches not including bots. Three have responded to any messages with one of them asking "wtf do you want from me"

The other two did not respond when I finally got around to asking them on a date.

I've bought so many drinks for women in my nights out and yet, it's people like you who waste opportunities seem to get all the attention. Makes zero sense.


40 Ways to Please Your Batman Tonight!


>"She's so hot but she's totally easy and I would never date her but let me stare anyway."

Lots of men do not want to date the village bicycle. Wanting to sleep with someone is not the same as wanting to date them. There are a ton of women out there that I'd spend my Friday night with but very few I'm willing to give up a Saturday afternoon for.


Similar story, two of my old high school English teachers were cheating on their husbands for years, apparently. With each other. Cat jumped out of the bag when they both got divorces and had a lesbian wedding. Last I knew they both still teach there.


But then it says that the vast majority of assaults go unreported. Women could easily be more intimidated into silence than a man who was mugged.


You know I was actually thinking accents too. I think they would be regional, and take on the worst possible accent of where they were located.


unnecessary/harsh question


A human torch was denied a bank loan.


You're establishing a bad precedent.


We don't want her. -The rest of the world


You guys this is getting out of ha


If your gonorrhea takes a while to become symptomatic, do you call it The Slow Clap?


Came here to say this. LOL


How was his.... pokerface?


Yeah, but he's a retard.  Shows what he knows.  Good job being love by retards though, that's a real accomplishment.


"Today in sentences you thought you would never read..."


You would feel better if the kid was killed? What a kind of retard are you?


i think its more, "well fuck me"


you have no idea what you're talking about


Or we should be turning in quests to him.


What? For a situation like this, it's not as-is unless you warranty.  It's the other way around.  There's a warranty unless you as-is.  For shame, sir.  For shame.


to point out he isnt a loser


Take my downvote for being the cunt daughter to a whore mother and everything that is wrong with women.


lol @ the YouTube comments

>Go North-West:

>come on, his physique is not that great... no lats, small arms, shoulders and chest and not even that low on body fat, probably somewhere around 9-10%

>ssuuppeerrbbooyy:

>I doubt he is trying to impress and attract homosexual gym rats.


They are fucking pathetic, that's what happens when the only action you get is from the dog or your hand.

SRD, click that little down arrow, I am sure it will solve your problems of male inadequacy, hahahaha.


'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Ulyanovsk Oblast'


People like me? Are **facts** prejudice now? Also creeping and rape is a huge social problem. So big that there's campaigns against both [creeping](http://i.imgur.com/UyJ18.jpg) and [rape](http://i.imgur.com/vFXmm.jpg).


Are you kidding? That would be fucking amazing.


I think you're looking for a reason to hate cops. Typical Toronto baby.


OP delivers
http://imgur.com/Y6Wm0Lq


Too bad Terry probably forgot it before he croaked

Edit: joke, don't take death so seriously. you're fetishizing it


Kids are gullible. Until middle school I thought I'd been to Australia when in fact, I fell asleep on a car ride from our house to our Australian friends' house in Las Vegas and when I woke up my parents told me we drove to Australia. My parents were assholes.


And you think we'd rather be like you? As a member of both this subreddit and /r/atheism I can sincerely say that I'd rather be the kind of person you think is "bad" than be like you and call other people garbage and comparing them to the WBC left and right.


I reckon he *does* fuck around with this answer.


That is so untasteful. Fuck you. Once you graduate middle school i hope then youll learn some class


Yeah, you'd probably Britta it. I'll show myself out.


stfu you're braindamaged


What a load of Shiite


If an engineer declares a bridge to be perfectly safe when is not actually sure of this, and then the bridge falls down, he will face consequences. This is generally considered a good thing.


That's largely up to you


How dare she go 23 in a 20... think about the children! This monster.


Undoubtedly, there will be people reverse streaking.


Nah, 4chan did it and they hate 9gag so they basically said fuck those guys.


I came here to ask if he'd had plastic surgery. Either that or a very well-applied mask.


Why are you guys so focused on the BMI instead of the body fat percentage?


Mark Wahlberg fucking killed it in that movie.


Also you should play a Zelda game before posting in r/gaming


Emo Philips: “I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.”


Yeah. That move was all Barrett. Sorry, Sin Cara.


First he sends a winky face text at 3am, then never responds, and now this.


That was my favourite part of this youtube video too.


He makes sure the reddit (along with the rest of the internet) does not fall out of your smartphone. We used to have internet leaks a while back when smartphones were still new and use to have to send cleaners to go around with sponges, buckets and mops to pour the internet back in.

These internet dykers, as they're called, are worth their weight in gold.


Didn't read any of that. I don't read things from ugly people


His right, or your right? unless its doggy style which would make it both of your rights. And you know that you gotta fight for your right

To party


Random people on the internet pretending to be historians. Cool.


-10 intelligence points for anyone who tried that.


I'm sorry but I subscribe to the theory that music is about MUSIC and not gimmicks. Maybe that's just me. But Im not paying to see your kid play.


IT'S PEANUT BUTTER TERROR TIME PEANUT BUTTER TERROR TIME


That's SIR Jack Handey to you!


But it was all worth it to suck on your tits.


Sees self finally impressed

Unimpressed with one's commitment


Sometimes it's "stop in the name of love."


pleasing to who? her hips make me glad I live in Asia where girls are slim.


"I can assure you that is, in fact my name."

"How you can be so sure?"

"It takes Juan to know Juan."


The ending I remember, she escapes, and while sitting in the car, it flashes back and you realize she's in the cave and hallucinated it all. \

EDIT: It should be known that I had no idea there was a spoiler tag... it all showed up as a blue hyperlink to me. Which routed to a 404. Sorry if I ruined the movie.


> give a courtesy tap

or you could, you know, use words


Cause we really care about what this guy on the Internet thinks. Maybe if no one sees it the voters will still go for Steph


The number is too high, so we measure in kppm to keep it manageable.


What exactly does Fox News gain from lying?


If you shoot at a police officer, you're gonna have bad time.


it actually is. i instagrammed it and then got it off of my profile via [statigr.am](http://statigr.am/) and uploaded it to imgur. but no one is going to believe that, so whatever.

edit: like i said, no one's going to believe it. i'm already being downvoted to hell. /sigh


No it doesn't. Fuck Alabama.


Rather than doing that, why don’t you show a little cultural sensitivity to immigrants from Muslim nations?  Mr. Khairi was merely attempting to maintain the moral standard of his home country.  I don’t see why he should be punished for that.  Here’s a better idea:  Lose the strip clubs and bars and get some morals.


I'm in the UK and a guy just walked straight past me as I became next in line for the ATM machine. I'm usually the type to sigh and tut but as he was getting his card out I squeezed myself between him and the machine slightly elbowing him and saying "I was before you, join the queue". I was facing away from him and my face was burning red. He tutted but went to queue. It was awesome.


rape is the only solution


I feel like your mother is not a good mother.


I said I wasn't responding anymore, but yours deserves it...

Look up the words "groupthink" and "herd mentality".


Well she technically wasn't lying...


Try Google, smug fucktard.


I would like to be on that show where you jerk off a dog and try to aim his jizz at a sleeping guy's face.  what show is that?  Oh yeah, 60 Minutes.


Way to misgender me asshole. Thanks for proving my point fuckface.


I would think that the reported crime rate would be the single best indicator of the crime rate.


I wouldn't rape you if you were uglier. Aw hell, who am I kidding? I'd rape you just to see the look on your ugly-ass face.


your reply explained everything


Unless you can show me proof of a dog saying, "Yeah, I want to bone you, human!" then I maintain that a dog cannot consent. :)


Ahhh That's kind of adorable.


Your writing is painful to read. Just tell the fucking story.


I used to play that game... before the ritalin.


You may not agree with his politics but the guy is a war hero. To call him a traitor is retarded.


Formulas are my formula for-mula


they are still cunts when they break windows unnecessarily.


The circlejerk of life


I play my share of CoD and BF, but this dude is just irreverent.


Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.


Serious or not, these are no manners.


His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms spaghetti

There's vomit on spaghetti already

Mom's spaghetti

He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm spaghetti

To drop bombs, but he keeps on spaghetti


Midnight. From a 14 year old


Hi person who is a turd but still not my ex.


Yes, promoting a neo-nazi subreddit to support your opposition to the SPLC counts as being on friendly terms with neo-nazis. Look, I respect people who have the maturity to be able to be honest and proud about the beliefs they have committed to, even if I find their beliefs distasteful. Be proud of your neo-nazi beliefs.


I think this post should be rebranded as "redditors find awesome new games to try"

Except maybe zombie. They can keep that one.


1,892 comment karma, yep that's all I am.


Game of Loans: You Win or You Die


Habitual spelling and grammatical errors effected a majority of this list.


Yes I can! Yes. I. Cannnnn.


I UsEd tO pLaY HiDe AnD sEeK lIkE yOu, ThEn I tOoK aN aRrOw To ThE kNeE


Interesting how they didn't want to be connected to it since they make the arguably best product in that market.

edit: thanks for 1000 comments about vibrators


I don't know where you went to school, but America only learns about America and a little bit of geography.


This only works If you are attractive. Actually everything on this thread only applies if you are attractive.


That's still taking something that isn't yours, thus stealing.


We were more impressed with all the cameras, lights, and cops parked outside our class. I actually don't even think I recognized the President immediately, he just seemed like some eldery man in a suit to me.


Nigger fag of the year.


i think

>"Because then you go away"

might be the most tragic thing i've read in a long, long time.


/r/lgbt is for LGBTs not for straights. We welcome good straight people.. You on the other hand should be excluded.

I make no apologies for what I say or for the consequences of what I say.


Oh fuck shit! My bad, North South Carolina.


If you still call it your 'wee wee', I'd imagine they don't scream when you use your wee wee either.


this reply needs more upvotes


Holy fuck this is so much better than I could've imagined.


i see what you did there thats from mass effect 2


Holy shit that's amazing.  He should be receiving a lot more than 75k for that.  Congratulations to that kid, he deserves to be every bit as happy as he is there.


I saw him in a photograph on reddit. Karma please!


God really helped me out there.


...no. I guess I should be more clear: it is impossible for your tongue to slide *into* your throat, block your airway and kill you. (I'm of course talking about otherwise healthy individuals.)

Look it up.


Dangerous assumption: assuming PizzaBoxJM is female.


Thats kind of retarded..


/r/relationships taught me that only two options exist when you are having relationship issues:

1. They are cheating on you
2. There are no other options


MOMMMMYYYY!!!!! WAT ID DA APETOL SCIENCE HANDHEWD POLTOL DEVICE?????? GOO GOO!!!!

Samefag detected


Only if he is kissing your neck.


the campaign against jailbait and exploiting minors on reddit is pretty largely meaningful.

I don't agree with everything they do, but I do think they've helped in ways that deserve positive recognition.


Yeah, um, would give absolutely no fucks about the precise breed of worms found in my food. *Worms in my food.*

Edit: how do I stop being notified when people respond to this oh god so many people telling me about things I do not want to know I hate you all


Sigh. I am not looking to start an argument with anyone, okay?

Again, when I commented for the first time, the post had no comments, so I figured no one cared.

Leave me alone.

And, I said good for the black chicks. They shouldn't be putting those bad chemicals on their hair...I mean they can if they want, and I know some need to, but I just like natural.


I didnt read. The same problem that landed me in here....I apologize


Oh *come on*! Just because it's a little bit "transphobic" it's not that bad... Well, unless you're from SRS.


Haha! Hey everyone, this guy thought the Internet had the answers!


*shit's

*old,

*buddy.

You're welcome!


Hah, trick question. You're unemployed.


Be sure to take your asthma medication when gasping. We wouldn't want you to choke on a pun, or would we?


No, just give her the picture. There is NO point in getting them involved. This is a hugely popular thread on a top-100 website. They don't want nor need that kind of exposure. It's not worth it.


Nice preemptive strike on a community that hasn't responded yet and one you have a warped view of


>Sorry, I'm Canadian.

FTFY


Hitler was atheist, educate yourself :)


that is the grossest thing I've read on Reddit since 12pm today


I just clicked downvote because he was already down under too deep, saving him isn't an option.


Pepperidge Farm remembers...


So you're offering yourself up for a kick in the ass then, eh?


Theoretically everyone should. At birth the vitreous humour (the substance that fills the space between the retina in the back of the eye and the lens in the front) is a stagnant gel but as we age it liquifies. These "floaters" are some of the vitreous still in a gel consistency floating in the liquid vitreous.


I suppose that what qualifies me as an asshole is that I won't be the personal bitch of everybody that looks at my stuff and says "that's awesome stuff, now I command you to make it different."


Underage Drinking - anywhere


It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you. Reddit has been gamed multiple times alread for personal gain.


FOR THOSE WHO DON'T GET IT, HE POOPED HIS PANTS.


NONE OF THESE ARE EVEN TRUE, THIS IS WHY YOU DONT LEARN FROM VIDEO GAMES, OP IS IDDIOT, NONE OF THE STUFF HE SAYS IS EVEN TRUE, HOW CAN YOU LEARN ALL OF THIS FROM THAT GAME IF IT ISN'T TRUE? LOLOL


The 'tie around the waist' look serves two purposes:

1.  It gives you that preppy, "when are we going to play squash, Todd" look
2.  It's an added protection from people seeing your erections.


Not excusing Rio's childish behaviour but they were A) zero-fat, and B) a pre game "ritual" which had been around for years.

I'd imagine Rio was more angry at Moyes taking away the ritual than the chips themselves.

Edit: Crazier shit happens every day in football. People seem to be especially miffed at this because it's Rio who got angry.


Thanks for clarifying you are the one on the right in that last photo. I thought you were the one on the left.


Jesus tapdancing Christ. If you're menstruating I'll give you a pass but if not please stop being a cunt.

I can prescribe something to help you if you need it.


I agree, but in my sister's case, she is a lesbian in her mid to late thirties.


who honestly gives a fuck besides you?


I tend to murder coworkers that I find annoying, BUT I have never been caught due to my ability to hide bodies in the tri-county area


Slow your horses with that second best team talk... we'll see Feb. 1st


Exact dimensions - like the volume displacement in a graduated cylinder?


You do drugs? So edgy!


Because there are some worthless pieces of shit out there.

It just goes to show that the type of person you are doesn't depend on where you sit in society.


Thank you for not ruining the punch-line in the title.


I can't decide why people think they have to post every detail of their fucking banal lives onto facebook and because that doesn't give them their required 15 minutes of fame, then they post it here.


A wise man once said "4chan is intelligent people acting dumb, reddit is dumb people acting intelligent." I agree.

[To the people who point out the irony of that statement](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x91oF8b6k6w)


Why? Seriously. Fucking why? It's a beaver. Canada isn't the only country with beavers. Why does that make you proud? Fuck you.


You don't like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me.


Sorry S1ayer, didn't spot yours before posting mine. Nice shop though, man. Puts mine to shame.


Standing on each others shoulders wearing a trenchcoat.


I know, right?  Have some respect for the dead.  Not everybody can be a survivor when shooting Final Destination 5.


You have made a wonderful contribution to the thread.  Thank you for sharing your story sir.


I would assume the black guy is the basketball player, but that would be racist.


Well I appreciate you saying that.


hardy fuckin har. if i had money, i would gild you.


In what manner did you take care of Sarah Palin?


Gay shit!

Sorry I'll leave.


I can't deny the sexiness of a water buffalo.


fuck you nigger faggot


I like how "Jesus Fucking Christ" is an appropriate exclamation


Nope, pretty sure most of reddit is just full of retarded virgin man babies though, this whole thing really proves it, beds are for two things both beginning with S, and neither of them involve pokemon or getting bits of pizza roll stuck in your neckbeard.


He should have figured it out, you buy both and then return the one you paid for later.

Duh.


I'm sorry but what else do you expect from women? Loyalty? People are so delusional nowadays.


I, for one, welcome our new women-beating overlord.


Well to be fair it isn't a joke to them.


One of the best things I've read from the comment section:

"If your faith can be shaken by a drawing, then you have none."


you do realize his campaign completion is over 100% not his multiplayer. you sir are a noob.


I've drawn little faces with sanguine expressions


I prefer it without the audio in gif form.


We have a great friendship in that we never keep in contact but when we see each other it's like we saw each other yesterday.


I want games so i can talk to my old friends :(


Well theres already [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IedGs6Y4kLE)


Stupid nerds with your faggot ass comic book shit. Comics suck. So does starwars. That was one gay ass movie and had virgin written all over it.

You shouldn't speak publicly about being a fan of that movie. Faggot.


Its been a year already?!?


I give up. You are so far fucking immersed in what you were originally taught by tradition, that you refuse to let you headstrong bias be persuaded by logic.

You, fellow Redditor, are a fucking idiot.


In high school I lost over 100 pounds by basically only eating beef jerky and drinking Diet Pepsi.

I drank a lot of Diet Pepsi. On a average day I would consume 4 two litter bottles a day. That's 8 litters of soda and about 800 milligrams of caffein.

I kept this habit up for almost 10 years. No major health issues besides the cancer and blindness.

What where we talking about again?


I thought Nightcrawler was German not blackfrican...


It's good resistance training and it saves time!  Why would you *not* do that??


Very well put sweetie. Apparently our ideas aren't good enough for their "standards".


Too many white women subconsciously think this. :(


Can someone tell google that it takes blind people too long to type responses?


OSGLHCDPRK

Our Supreme Glorious Leader's Heavenbound Chariots of Democratic Republic of North Korea.


lol lets predict how many downvotes i'll get from the "not a downvote brigade" SRD posters


we don't use lube because we're not pussies


It's in a comment bro.


Either one of them is going to result in an increased police state, continued state of war, and continued unsustainable debt and spending.


Your friend was a dumb ass. He did not have a sense of self worth, so he ended up committing suicide and tried to cover it up with the whole dog story.


In my town in the US, the town is so hilly that the school's mascot is a hill. Yes, a hill.

EDIT: If one more person comments asking me where I live, I will personally kill you. It is in MA not Kentucky. GOOD DAY.


Hey, this might seem like a weird question, but were you possibly active on Warlizard forums?


I work at an advertising agency filled with women. This week they have had compelling conversations concerning whether or not they will get c-sections and who they think is going to win The Bachelor . I wish I had a bro to talk to..


How did he die this year on December 23rd?

edit: your downvotes only validate how retarded reddit is, lol. Jesus Christ.


No.  He said shooting us was like shoot deer.


You didn't notice this?

>But when it comes to math, everyone turns into a big pussy and starts PMSing all over the place. The walls, the flag, the teachers, everyone and everything gets splattered by your crimson twat water.


This is great advice. The more animosity you can foster with your neighbors, the better.


Maybe Welker is the better WR compared to Edelman, but Edelman is sure as hell not nearly the choke artist that Welker is. You know why? Because Edelman has 1 ring to show for it, and Welker has 0.


Much like the way we all get lost in your eyes.


QNIX is a 16:9. This is 16:10


except you have to be good at the game lol


no ads

edit: white knights, white knights everywhere

...Originally found it on Google, NOT from its original source. I didn't want to link to that site. I didn't really take the time to search for it on Onion.
youcompleteme gave the source, please click it :)


That made me feel so goddamn fuzzy inside. I thought my beard would protect me from such feelings.


I don't think any mentally sane gf will call the cops man, I like the kinkiness he described


The ROLLERCAGE OF FIRE.


I didn't know you were a football fan! see you all the time on the /r/leagueoflegends subreddit!


It's the only way to keep his AMD video card under 90 Degrees.


Funny thing is regardless of how I construe your statement, you still come across as an ass who doesn't know what he's talking about.

EDIT: WOW, downvotes for supporting Apple. Surprise. Well, let's look at this. Higher quality screen at a higher resolution than your monitor. Whoop, think that's AT LEAST $40 bucks worth. Hope you didn't pay more than that for your monitor.


And the room was silent, save for the snap of a rubber glove.


You expect me to believe a woman was "domestically abusing" a man, yeah right.


I guess she was really, really hungry.


Me and a majority of the English-speaking population including the creator!

Edit: Damn it didn't check my sources for a "fact" I only vaguely remembered, there's a majority on the hard g side, the silliness of using popularity as an "objective" criterion for rightness is self-evident enough, you g-like-gimbal barbarians are still wrong, it's pronounced like ginger, gin or giraffe.


Would it be possible to make the flair clickable, leading to the original thread?


So, as a man you can say that you believe women want to have their faces ejaculated onto?

Well, I guess we're all wrapped up here!


I'm Hitler's wet dream and I get a good frisking every time I fly.


That's an arrogant comment.

You might flash early if you see a lower percentage of health. Many, many reasons. Of course, having lower health will affect your game, but not as much as /u/findboomer suggests.


Neither has Helen Keller.


Yes. It is a weapon. Any sort of fire does that to the human body. So does lightning. So does fireworks gone wrong or an explosion at a gas station. So does a terrible car accident. So does falling asleep with a cigarette in bed. Yes, it looks awful. But the awfulness is irrelevant.


So you're the romantic type.


I will install it to try it out, but betatesting has always been a job, and as a developer I really can't stand the new trend of making the public do it.


I'll bet you're even more allergic to a heart attack.

edit: this was my first comment here, ever. It was so successful i will probably never comment ever again.


not sometimes.

edit:  what's tastier than karma is watching you kids scramble to downvote all my posts here.


Simply put, sports bring in money to Universities. The money that's used to fund research projects and department budgets comes in part from the revenue generated from sports games. If a University can recruit a star athlete who boosts attendance at games that means more money in their pockets.


I'm not quite sure I follow.  Michael Keaton is not British.


I'll let you know for certain after the second coming.


If you actually believe in the bible, then evolution is incompatible. If you do not believe in the bible, then why for are you a christian?

This goes for pretty much any of the hundreds of genesis stories, throughout history.


This is the biggest trade I've seen in years holy shit.


|Write a book titled, "How to torture abusive women."

FTFY.


**TEA** and **CRUMPETS** **M'LORD**. As you can see, I am also British.

edit:Thanks for the gold **GOVNA**


If the shoe fits.

Edit: ha, this sub is a joke. Don't care.


Also, make sure your privacy settings on facebook and any other site you belong to are cranked up to the Max. His lawyers will troll through your history to try and discredit you.

Edit: if the word "trolling," confuses you, go to google  and type "define trolling". All will be clear.


an upvote for you sir, thats what i was going to say , well it was going to be " holey shit mother fuckin donkey kong !"


>Also, that Emma Watson is secretly really into fat bald men

That's no secret. I hear all celebrities (male and female) are into that kind of guy. As long as you're wearing the right fedora, anything is possible.


well you can't expect him to be in the public so short after it being revealed that he tried to spread untrue and misleading propaganda to the community

http://www.reddit.com/r/starcraft/comments/qs1lq/discussion_why_rstarcraft_is_a_joke_community/


That's kind of a dick move on his part.


keep the seether going. im enjoying this.


It is even more sad when the second one happens before the first one.


That's fucking weird. Do you get off on shit like that or what?


> and gets that jerk sent to jail

The guy lied under oath to send an innocent man to prison.  He's nothing more than a grown-up bully and should be in jail himself for his actions.


I don't know why, but it cracks me up every time someone gets mass downvoted for saying something as harmless as "I lol'd"


is it not the nose?

edit: Oh, "Super"


Daniel Bryan didn't talk about it so it was "buried."

edit: I know he said it, but did he talk about it?


well, you'll always have death to look forward to.


too bad Jordan was better


That stare of complete shock is when he realized, "Oh God, I'm *that* guy."


No! No! No! That's what makes 4chan 4chan. And DO NOT LINK ANY UNICORN PORN, or else I will have no logical recourse other than to click the links.


>And of course, phenylacetone can be reductively aminated with methylamine...

Obviously. Stop patronizing us.

Edit: I feel guilty that my smartass comment got more karma than the dude who explained how to make meth out of fucking Legos...


>Pronouns are a closed class.

However, sex and gender are NOT a closed class.

>Also also, in my completely non-linguistic personal opinion, anyone who tells you off for not using a made-up bullshit pronoun that has not actually entered the lexicon in any meaningful way is a wanker.

Thank you for holding back civil rights another couple decades.


Witnessing reddit in real life is embarrassing.


I wish I could you more than one upvote


>she had a finger in my ass

Perhaps you were farting and she wanted to sleep

EDIT: TIL all it takes for a thousand up votes is a fart joke. This is the highest rated comment I've ever made, and represents 1/4 of my total karma


You are talking *about* the people you're trying to mock, not *as* the people you're trying to mock.  Your stupid, half-assed internet accent is making *you* seem like the fucking moron.


I just noticed my spelling mistake, I really hope so.


Um, what? The economy imploded right as said Texan left office, and never recovered.

Edit: I didn't blame Obama for it, you knee-jerking fuckwits!


Not safe, forgot lunch

NSFL


some people cope in different ways douchebag
this can seen as liberating by some people, its her choice, im not forcing anyone


Bullshit. I often carry on looking for them after I've found them.


> privilege

This is what tipped me off to the fact that you're an SRSer.

EDIT: Holy shit, this subreddit is way too sympathetic to SRS.


This is why you're still a cookie hunter and not a whiskey leaver in the corporate world. Take note.


I guess he shouldn't have tried to pick a fight in a fighting class then ...


and im the asshole who orders singles off the internet to make killer decks, and has the most up to date cards.
"You don't know what eldrazi are? well, your day is about to get shit on."


You do realize that mass downvoting causes reddit's spam filter to kick in and remove all your downvotes, right?


It's obvious it wasn't her. If it was her, she would've Googled "me and my black children."


Is this how you rationalize all the losing?


Seriously. I actually got a little excited when I saw the link. "Oh, so they are finally going to release some details?! Maybe they really have thought of something that others haven't!"

Nope. The site was funny as fuck though.


The guy allegedly sticks his hands threw the crack of the seats to grab her ass? The video is of some lady yelling at a shamed man? When you see a comment that says "backstory taken from youtube" it's a red flag that the entire thread is retarded.


You're not going anywhere.


I... I can't stop... laughing at that!


It's still pretty acceptable to hate atheists in the USA.


We in the British National Party are not used to foul language. So please, I would appreciate it if you do not use words such as f**ked. Someone forgot to switch a swear-word filter on!


....WHO FUCKING DOES THAT. Christ that makes me so angry. Poor little girl. :(

Edit: To everyone telling me not to assume the baby is a girl... please reread OP's post before commenting.


nah, not really. I figured it'd hit eventually. I really wasn't trolling, but some people... well, whatever.


In more ways than one lol


rofl, i don't like that /r/. i was just saying, god is kind of a douche for letting him die. oh! but he must be working in mysterious ways! lol. anyway, carry on!

now imagined if i said, "god bless his soul". you probably would have been ok with it. you clearly wouldn't have said, "go back to /r/ christianity asshole!"


I have been Shreddited for privacy!


someone with too much time on their hands :-)


Strange way to spell Mom.

Edit: Thanks for gold. My point 2 [here] (http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2m6vqt/karma_whores_of_reddit_ie_everyone_what_are_your/cm1grz7) has been vindicated.


It's either get dispatched to stupid shit like this, or sit around eating donuts all day.


Your brother is a good man. That kid is going to have impeccable oral hygiene.


No, I'm all set, thank you.


...with an enormous penis.


your mom is pushing 70?


Why do we even have that lever?


And no sport has the whole game change every year, so that's irrelevant.


~~Crab fest~~ Endless Crab Legs was a huge disaster for Red Lobster. They actually fired the ~~man~~ woman who allowed it to happen. People were ordering crab legs and only eating the easily accessible meat. They were throwing away pounds and pounds of crab meat. When I worked at RL crab fest was always talked about in hushed tones.

*Edited to change promotion name


I mean, it's a bigger accomplishment than what size paper we use.


Proof! OP delivers!

Good call on the black iPhone as well! I hear they run faster than the white ones.


What is this and why is this thread top voted? I'm so confused atm...


- Choo
- Choo
- Mother fuckers

Now boarding.


You take that bitch by the hair and you throatfuck her!!!! Then you jizz on her funbag titties


boo fucking hoo.

fucking get your dick sucked.


That's crazy, I gave your Aunt a necklace and I didn't have to do anything for her.


We must know...FOR SCIENCE


If you stay there for 35 years you will have 10 AC units stolen from you.


Why are Seth's quotes in yellow and **le** giant yellow bird has white text?


Olympics are property of NBC. They don't have to show it if they don't want to. You should be happy they're choosing to even air the events you ungrateful cock muncher.


That poor guy. No one is going to hire him if his mom keeps pulling that shit.


i work at chick fil a. you are wrong. we have fundraisers for people in need of every race, class and sexual orientation. get your facts straight.


I did this once with messy pig tail buns sticking out of the top. I thought I was hot shit.

Edit: http://i.imgur.com/z5bZw.jpg

I wasn't hot shit.


Judging by the upvotes the Arsenal fans have turned up.

Edit: Yep, they're here.
Edit2: I forgot just how big their world fanbase is.


Sounds like a retarded plan. Everyone's files mysteriously gets deleted but hers


Wasn't that quick, just 16tick.


How's Invisible Children doing?


ok we need a scientific study here

A: you cannot be a gw girl (your slutdom biases you against everyday respectable people)

B: you must be at LEAST 18 so can handle the maturity of the question

C: TELL ME!!!!

hah rediquette out the window


OH FUCK, I forgot about nintendogs, I wonder.if mine are still alive...


More downvotes, please


I came here to say that exact thing. Instead, have my upvote.


This kills the Korean.


This isn't about the Tea Party. Don't bring them into this shit.

Edit: warning, brigade from SRD.


Note: This advice may hinder your sex life.


Cute joke for reddit points, but comparing this to actual domestic violence is sickening.


As an american, I'm imagining a bunch of boisterous chimney sweeps.


There's more Irish people living outside Ireland than there is in Ireland.

All my mates have fucked off :(


I used to xpost posts, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Next time call/text them yourself. Maybe they were waiting for someone to invite them out!


RIOT HIRE THIS GUY ALL MY UPBOATS HITTERALY LITTLER 9/11 TSM TSM TSM NERF DYRUS


Of course, now the last part should be amended to say "When Facebook deletes the profile for inactivity."


Shit south park reference is shitty.


We passed around tapes.  This was before minors had easy and plentiful access to porn.

Get off my lawn.


It's not really stealing since he didn't do anything to protect it.  It's basically free use since he was careless.


That doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about ship bottling to dispute it.


well, i don't know if anyone has told you this yet, but sex requires penetration of a dick into a small hole in between the legs of a woman, called a vagina and/or b-hole.


I've learned and forgotten point slope form more times than I can remember.


D'awww, are you upset someone criticized your little institution ?

Poor little atheist, you must not be used to such things outside your little circlejerk.


I would have pulled down my pants, sat down, and looked her dead in the eye until she left...


It's called medicine and science. :)


I'm glad someone finally did this. Like, it's amazing that we have the technology to allow people to start hearing for the first time, but damn, those videos needed a spoof.


What are you talking about,  it is totally am analogy.  One you obviously don't agree with,  but denying its an analogy is stupid. This is nothing like the over use of satire. Analogies generally break down if taken literally,  they are just metaphors.


You rounded $34.8k to $34k?

What are you, a banker?


LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Like I care what you think.


I don't intend to prove my client's innocence. That isn't my job. It is the prosecution's job to prove his guilt. I'm here to make sure they don't succeed.


I actually laughed out loud at this.


jesus man... You're an awkward all-star. I salute you.


I don't care about internet points, I'm just saying the truth here...


I can't believe an 8yo got more action than I ever did.


Boo fucking hoo, if I wanted to hear retards read I'd go over to the special class at the nearest high school.


It sucks. We don't get any of the cool American shows like Jersey Shore.


Goo GAA MAMA I wana pway wiT dada!!!!!!!! I used to get abused anally by my father because it was his way of showing he loved me, but then I took a arrow to da knee! goo GAH GAGa!!!!


I slap you! I slap you! slap slap slap you!


You! You win! Why doesn't this have much more upvotes?
EDIT: for the record, I made this comment when he had like 20 upvotes. Back to business, keep the downvotes coming!


I'm so confused... You married your bi-gender father?


No one needs feminism.  Reality itself denies feminism.


I'm always stroking ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


That's a fucking stupid answer. Any country that wanted to invade Switzerland could do so easily.


I have no idea what you just said but please, whisper it in my ear.


It has nothing to do with an anti A&M agenda so /r/cfb wont allow it.


Then why did you [sign ACTA](https://www.eff.org/issues/acta/)?


this guy is a fucking loser. straight up. i cant believe this shit is being upvcoted. then again most loser neckbeards on here are fatfucks who are unemployed and live in their moms basement.


Bigger people come into them.


This is why I hate reddit sometimes, funny jokes turn into karma whoring


How could this possibly work


Internetz. Where else?


Our ejaculate will blot out the sun


no it's not. she killed a baby. i'm sorry but that's called a murder.


There is no way to win with parents like that. If you had of walked in front of the slide while her kid was coming down the slide she would have yelled at you for not getting out of the way. Some parents just need to chill the fuck out sometimes.


I can't say "professional murderer" was really top of my list...


Won an XBox 360 with kinnect, and then a week later won a PSP


Well it's 2010 launcher so that's miles away from Kalista :D


Smuggle a kilo of cocaine into the UK and you can proudly claim to be banned from an entire country.


You seem like a pretty good guy, we should send you on a vacation. How much do you think you will need?


Damn chiles and their hot shit


I absolutely agree with you. Fuck this sub sometimes. Just as blind.


still infinitely better than the Macarena.


13 in what country? American high schooler here. It's rare that someone is even 14 in 9th grade.


Well you just won over r/gaming, congratulations.


welcome to... http://www.targetmall.net
sells Dildo Male masturbation Rabbit vibrator，
free shipping,we accept paypal payment.

----- http://www.targetmall.net -----


Would a cat sitting on a moving Roomba qualify as a self-driving cat?


Jealousy is the number one reaction I get and it pisses me off. If you could offer some tips on how I could deal with it I would be very grateful. When I tell people I'm retired and still earn more than $40k after tax (another thing: I don't pay taxes), they hate me. They don't show it, but I know they hate me for it.


Kept reasonably alive, paid. Semantics.


um nothing. I'm looking at my happy, attractive, *living* girlfriend from across the room right now and she's smiling back at me. Not a thing in the world bro.


I always try to masturbate large words into my conversations, even if I'm not quite sure what they mean.


What civil right has been violated?

Edit: People seem to have confused my irritation with throwing out legal terms incorrectly with supporting cps in this scenario. Oh well.


Why didn't they just search the whole office? I'm sure they would have found them.


God I'm glad this show got canceled. The worst kind of people were the ones to love it. It's been off the air for years now, get over yourselves.


Yep, good ole american aggressive-aggressive behavior. We don't take shit from anyone that's why we are #1


I used to post alternative solutions, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


It always works the way it should, it's working the way you want that's the problem


No.

We're not even using Szcz at the moment anyway.


I assumed I would be selling the last years of my life. i.e $5million now to die at 78 instead of 83.


Logged in to downvote you twice.


That was a heavy movie! I watched it the other night and I totally forgot about the public torture of Quasimodo, Frolo's rampage of destruction, the blatant racism, and of course the rape song.


Why don't you try to tear down Israel, you retard? I will laugh my head off as soon as Israeli submachine gun rounds tear off your genitals. Haha.


Aha! But I dialed *67 before I called!


You aren't scared of me.


Out of curiosity, how often do you thank your parents for being awesome?


I take it you must be *normal* in one of those ways.

Sorry to upset you.  I know fucked-up hormones can lead to emotional disregulation, which is *normal* and not a sign of you being mentally ill.  I'm so serious.

 Or if you're black just forget what I wrote like everything else you read and holler back in the club, you're normal for sure.  Ay yo gimmedats dawg ay b rill ay


Imagine a wooden block. You want to make a machine from it. So, if you want to have an impression, you cut shapes into the block to have some slots. For bits that stick out, you stack little pieces of cardboard on top and cut them into shapes.

It's the same thing here, but with silicon wafers instead of wood and cardboard.


It's more like [censorship](http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/sxoaz/a_statement_from_the_rvideos_mods_regarding/c4huvrb) of unpopular ideas.


(╯°□°）╯**THE FUCK, MAN? THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE TABLES!**


Oh I am sorry I seem to have sat down at the children's table...my mistake.


just to finish that thought, imagine if there had been trouble. He is down to his last rounds when he remembers the box of ammo you guys lost off your truck. With insurgents closing in, he reaches into the box and "shit? SHIT?!?!"


**I** **N** **C** **E** **P** **T** **I** **O** **N**


No. But he's in many famous movies, like Independence Day.


Honestly, don't even waste your breath.


> Better safe than cock-less

Words to live by.


Damn, you beat me to it.


1. Use elbow to knock out first child.

2. Use child as weapon.


I don't know why, but if I ever meet you I am kicking your ass.


Sorry mate, he who hesitates is lost and whatnot.


You really don't like me, huh?


Unless you are being paid by Monster for promo...

I went on a blind date with a guy that has a Monster tattoo on his neck. I legitimately thought my friends were punking me. Bad choice and not even getting paid for it= total idiot.


Horrible analogy because healthy children aren't killed daily in the US for lack of space in orphanages.

Was a pretty cute try though.

What part do you disagree with, exactly. Do you not think euthanasia of healthy animals is a bad thing that should be prevented at all costs? Or is it something else I said that makes you disagree with me so much?

Genuinely curious.


What does WinRAR CEO Syrio Forel say about enforcing the end of the trial period and making people pay for the service?

"Not today."


You don't trip women!!!!

That's not cool dude!

**edit

holy cow,  i was just kidding!!!!!!

stop killing my karma!


I think here in America more people just see their parents as just another person rather than a power not to be questioned. Don't get me wrong, I love and respect my parents but if they do something I don't agree with I won't hesitate to show my opinion or argue.


ha ha! Made me laugh!

or possibly

made, me, laugh...


Like Daddy always told me, "Only do *one* illegal thing at a time."


If you get pissed then downvote and move on, as long as this motivates 1 person what's it to you? It's clearly motivating, as it has hundreds of upvotes does it not?

Don't understand some people. I mean I don't go on r/music and remind them why whatever top submission they have is 'bad' or 'wrong', I just don't care, and move on to things I do like.


You should see a doctor immediately. Bring the dick.


Nothing dick about it. Just statements of opinion and statements of fact. Sorry my opinions don't agree with all of you bleeding heart touchy feeling hippies who want to give everyone a trophy just for getting up in the morning.


I don't think she's read anything.


You act as if Cena gets a press piece for every Make a Wish he does.


This is why I always let people choke to death. *Just in case.*


so if ugliness is not an issue, then I am allowed to call them ugly and they have no right to be offended by this. Sort of like calling someone a brunette when they're a blonde.

If it is, they're just hypocrites.

I'm not taking sides here, I just hate circlejerking.


If he has dilated cardiomyopathy (DCM) resulting from a viral illness, it would not be expected to recur in the transplant.

OP: I'd humbly advise that you consult a heart failure specialist at an academic center if you've not done so already. You're too young to not investigate all your options.


What you're seeing is exactly how sex worked until the 1800's

When an entire family shared a bed, what did you think happened?

This is trashy and reprehensible, but rage is a bit strong


Just told this to a coworker across the aisle:

"Ugh, that was terrible. I'm never going to get those seconds of my life back!"

Mission accomplished.


The Mosque responded by saying we will break the commandments of God with the food you give us (granted they probably did not know). I get they were making a passive aggressive reply to a troll post but honestly their post was not in accordance with Islam and I think we Muslims need to point this mistake out before more people think they can.


Hi there, unofficial embassador from /r/gonewild here,

Pics of your girlfriend on the bike, please.


My personal definition of curvy (not everyone's) is waist to hip almost exclusively. A chick can be relatively flat chested but if she has a slim waist and wide hips, she's curvy. I had an ex like that.

Plus, this was the eye bleach image paired with the buttcrack one, so it made sense to pair them again.

Edit: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Amazon is truly amazing.


\**cue laugh track*

Seriously, as much as I love the series, a blind, deaf man's corpse could see that coming.


It really is just that simple.


People overreact to this. It's hilarious, and a little cool too, that even great players get booed when they do selfish shit.


Or Indiana, Pennsylvania


the best part of the video is the guy in orange

* walks up

* o__________________o

* wow

the whole situation is fucking embarrassing though.

i feel sorry for everyone calling this thing a 'girl'


My Basketball skills are like the NY Knicks right now!! they SUCK!!!


She won't beat the republican candidate.  Liberals have stopped voting.


>Goldicock and the Three Babes

FTFY


must be nice to have a whiteboard and posted notes to make fake pictures and hor karma.

i had 2 log in 2 downvote and report as a fake. everyone else do it 2 we need to stop these kind of posts b4 they get poppular.

redditqualitycontrol#


In what world is that hatred irrational?


He could be from any other part of the world than the Americas.


Well, if any up-start countries decide to make a joke about those 2 spots, they'd do well to remember that California hosts on its naval and air force bases about 11% of the total military power of the United States.  That means that if California were a separate country, it would have the 4th largest air force in the world and the 3rd largest navy.


You don't lose weight by stuffing your face full of food regardless of healthy it is. Calories in, Calories out.


Then afterward Jim would look at the camera and smirk.


downvoted for being a faggot

TIL reddit is full of faggot enablers


I think it's great if you have a lawn if they want to play on it.


It's funny because the bear just farted.


"Why should it be illegal to pay for something that's perfectly legal to give away for free?" -George Carlin


I can guarantee the hunger games is what started it being this popular. How many times did you hear it before that movie came out?


I imagined you spiraling on the ground from the force of the vomit/diarrhea explosion


>you should not violate the bodily autonomy and safety of someone just because you disagree with his or her views.

Somebody tell the Catholic Church or those 'brave' men resisting those rabid feminists and their abortion rights. It cuts both ways, and one wouldn't happen without the other.


Jesus Christ when will this nonsense go away.... The horse is long dead.

Edit: lol wow I see the penalty for questioning idiotic circlejerking is a steep one.


They don't think he be like he is. But he dead.


He's not that good looking to be honest. He needs to lift heavy and carb up. This is coming from a 8/10 guy with a 9/10 body (-: (no homo)

Edit: Oh come the fuck on... downvotes for having an opinion? On bodybuilding.com forums we call you guys "not aware" d-:


That man is playing Galaga.  He didn't think anybody would notice, but we did.


Most popular, but c9 is still the best!


My favorite part is the word "attempt."


Nice, we're usually armed, can't wait for you to try that with me.  Not a threat, just a promise; but you'll be carried away in a body bag.


I like that you used "nontraditional male" .


So if I took a genetic study youd have an X and a Y chromosome?


You shut your whore mouth!


No, but it's a solution that doesn't require someone else to do the work.


Done.

Edit: This may have been a mistake, she's a woman and I think this constitutes sexual abuse in the workplace


>you forgot to switch accounts.

Accusing people of being alts doesn't work when they have all their contact info [posted publicly](http://www.reddit.com/r/drunken_economist/comments/t1n57/who_the_fuck_is_drunken_economist/). Turns out more more than one person is just sick of you trying to incite the hivemind over the imagined "abuses" of authority figures in your life.


Gee, that was quick!


DADDYYY!!!!! NO TOUCH VAGINIA!!!!! WEDDIT, WAT ID DA APETOL SCIENCE HANDHEWD POLTOL DEVICE?????? GOO GOO!!!!


People actually use the hole?


I agree wholeheartedly.


WTF there's a whole country full of them?!

That country was apparently worth a gilding, thanks?


you die of hunger so stfu, i died like 2 mins after from some guy with a poison sword or somthing btw


"Aaaaaayyy this izz [Jamaica](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04nW0RBePok&list=PLRzEOKcjAPBCk4Nskyut61gwYuj1gp5Dp) calling my Deyar Americana Mutha. I just wanted to let you know deyar, ah-evereythang is going fabulous. The ganja production.... oh at the peak! Blessings and peacefulness, goodbye Mutha"


I hate to burst your bubble, but that says "we'll" not weh.


it's also good to eat if you need to get over 300 lbs and want to work at home on disability.


No, you really shouldn't. I haven't brought up that thread since I started it. It's always someone else bringing it up.

So can you really call me a troll if you're the one doing it to yourself? I think that's giving me too much credit at that point.


> In a recent update to my Samsung smart tv it started displaying banner adds on the bottom half of my tv.

Well I know what brand of TV I'm never going to buy!


I used to be a redguard, but then I took an arrow to the knee.


That's bizarre and I refuse to believe he went his whole life that way.

In my house we always had sliding doors so the first time I used a hotel shower with a curtain I got water all over the floor.  It only took that one time for me to be like "Ohhh so you keep it *inside* the tub. Got it."

I can't comprehend not being able to piece that together for so long.


I used to run, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Troy crying in the bathroom singing "Reading Rainbow."

EDIT: My mistake for answering a "what joke did you write" question. Classic trap. I just wrote that set-up, yes. I though it was funny to see him cry and sing that song. Donald improvised the end.

EDIT: Can I revise the whole answer to say Troy's line in "Cooperative Calligraphy" about wiener dogs?


I did. Israel is an occupier, just like *every* country that currently exists is.

Edit: 46 down votes but no decent rebuttal. I guess people were eager to sink their teeth into the next righteous issue after the election.


You're right. I could have been his wife if I just said: Whats an IQ test?!


Hah. Shameful self promotion on instagram instead of using the quick and easy imgur?

Go fuck yourself.


Hang out with others who are also aspiring scientists. That way the huge supply of interstitial time in your life is spent not on watching American Idol, but on geeking out on things like memorizing digits of Pi, or testing each other on obscure science trivia. The most successful people in life are those who recover all those lost hours per day and use them for enlightenment.


That's a Firefly reference. Nerdfail. For future reference you want either "Pretty!" or "If you want to ask me to dance, just ask."


> stop checking Reddit

FTFY


That never has nor will it ever be funny, it is a prime time youtube comment that should stay on youtube.


So irritating that they put that line in the trailer. It was one of the best delivered moments in the whole movie and everyone knew it was coming.


Why is this so offensive?? I thought it was funny but im also not a bitch and my marble sack has dropped


No, I am sitting on it.


Cons of being a stoner? Well because our country is retarded you could be a con(vict) because you're a stoner. (See what i did there? :D )


If that was the case he wouldn't need a fleshlight now would he?


Yeah fuck websites for trying to make money amirite?

I mean feel free to use AdBlock, but don't bitch about websites trying to get people to stop using it.

EDIT: my bad, I misread the comment. I thought he was talking about those comments in general, but it makes sense if the ads are seriously obtrusive.


Where are my glasses? Nvm, they're on my face.

Same thing happens with my phone, looking for it while using it.


of course I own a Mac. They are like 400 for a used one lol


The naked man works 2 out of 3 times. This was not that time.


Glad the stuff I taught her is treating you well!


Your cop friend is wrong.
-Lawyer


Yeah go and tell your boss he's at fault.


Do shut the fuck up. Interest alone is not a measurement of value on here. You know what is? Votes. See my previous post about how they need to be applied to show value.


That's just creepy that they watch their little daughter masturbate over and over and over.


What happened to you in your life to make you so upset?


I don't think any decent human being is ready to live with the fact that his wanking destroyed his parents marriage.


Yes, and you must be my wife. She says this every time I talk to her about it.


Least ambitious or threatening, I'd think.


His brother is the fucking faggot.


True.

I knew a guy who worked in Japan for a couple years. Apparently, there are a lot of Japanese girls who are into having an American boyfriend for a few months (long enough to piss off their parents, I guess).


he's suggesting 90 rappers were bad

what a generalization


*"Today OP delivered... but is still a faggot"*

**Edit:** Holy shit, 1300+ karma? My best comment ever.


Yeah. You have me pegged. Don't care what you think. Moving on.


They're a lot harder to milk than goats.

...

Just an observation.


More like best logic ever bro


Easy. Just say it's free.


Wait Americans are in Syria? But oblabla said they weren't


What?! You don't like a song specifically created to appeal to the overweight demographic in America (previously untapped), while also skinny shaming? Ugh. This song just irks me.


it's = it is.

You just typed "This is karma whoring at it is best".

That's dumb.


Everyone dies eventually.

My prognosis stands.


He said 'FUCK REDDIT!'


She was not the *kind* type of teacher


because some people don't feel the need to give their kids any damn thing they want.  Let alone and expensive electronic device.  He can have a library card and read for free.


Your brother's school had a great principal. If this was some tragic Korean drama, your little brother would have been singled out as a troubled kid, disowned and sent to military school, fell in love but lost the girl to the original punk who hit him back in school, had cancer, lost both his eyes, and maybe a limb or two, only to get the girl back after his death.


you realize he jumped into a pile and just started swinging right. That guy is a scumbag


She lives with her parents.  I live in the house.  Hardest thing about it was re-painting the nursery.  It took me like two months because whenever I would start to paint over the baby-blue paint I would instantly start crying.  My dad ended up helping me build a desk and furnish the nursery into a man-cave.  Without his help I probably would have just boarded up the door haha.


Church is separate from state in America they don't dictate laws


His white ink cartridge was obviously out.


Most peoples phones do. Idk why mine doesn't.


This is why people have religion


really cause I bet i could get downvoted even more than that


The whole subreddit is terrible. I used to go when it had a smaller viewer base and I remember mostly things that made you empathetic and get that second hand embarrassment. Its a full on teenage shitfest of "I dislike this person, let me create some fake context to make everyone else dislike them as well". Did you figure out who the OP is?


Could be my inner-conspiracy theorist but it almost sounds as if Google either doesn't believe the US landed on the moon and want proof from a privately owned company to go there and let them see..

Or maybe there's knowledge of aliens on the moon and they want someone to go and take pictures.


and to think dates were 2.99 a kilo that day!


I just started being here, hence the place got a lot cooler. You're welcome :-D


Why are you lighting a dude on fire? That seems harsh and unnecessary.


Can I have an upvote please. Just one.


>ye olde skippe buttone


fucking fat whore did it to herself, she should kill herself. stupid fat bitch


I just googled "Mid-Summer's Eve" to smell it. I need to internet less.


You're a fucking idiot


Take Allah your friends to see it - Critic #5


Lets get the guy fired for having an opinion with no proof of acting on it. If I don't like how you think, not how you act, you can't work here!


Amazing. The one time acting like an asshole benefits drivers directly, they refuse to do it.


DID YOU REALLY?  THAT'S GREAT TO KNOW.  PLEASE TELL US MORE


You insulted us by treating us like us


domestic abuse is funny to me


It's what holds the world together. It's what keeps the western world united. As long as we carry on hating the French, there will always be peace in the West.


No, but if it's really a big problem for you or the person who posted the first comment, then they shouldn't be going after random people on reddit, they should be going after the big sites.


Why do I keep seeing ads for "Fuck the Police" brand soda..


I have only referred a client to another healer. She is also a professional i.e. trained and doing this full-time, but I get the feeling that you were referring to doctors and therapists who are more mainstream.


dude chill.. its not sex


Oh look, more hunter whining. Forgot I was on this subreddit.


Reasonable suspicion that he was in possession of Skittles with intent to distribute to minors.


FUCKED UP JAPAN, WE SHOULD HAVE FINISHED THE JOB WHEN WE HAD THE CHANCE!


Be glad you feel shitty about it. It means you're not a sociopath.


What does Hitler have to be embarrassed for? I mean, he did kill Hitler


Well that's because he was born on a leap year DUH!


http://i.imgur.com/3m2zDga.jpg

edit: Chelsea fans really are sour cunts


The files are ..IN.. The computer?!? Of course, it's so simple


I used to point out things about picture #2 like you, but then they took some marrow from my knee!


Samuel L Jackson was on a plane.  Snakes were also on said plane.  Samuel L Jackson becomes tired of them.  There's all the plot you need.


keep circle jerking it


Now she just needs to find a decent tank.


OP is a [Faggot](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0802136915?ie=UTF8&tag=aa66-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0802136915)


Are you dating a 7th grader?


He probably isn't a cunt like you, so no he didn't.


This happened when I saw rise of the planet of the apes. One of the monkeys threw a tantrum and the guy behind me loud whispered to his wife, "the monkey is mad."


Next time buy the PC version, then. &#3232;\_&#3232;


My doctor took one look at my penis, his jaw dropped and he ejaculated, "Magnificent!".


So basically one step above an extra.  It's a shame he passed but this sensational journalism needs to stop.


That's almost brilliant!


My only regret is that I only have but one upvote to give you sir.


the fact that it's still schedule 1 should be appalling and embarrassing to anyone in charge of that.


You're not the boss of me, go fuck yourself.


> I had no idea that Sweden was supposed to be socially awkward.

They're too socially awkward to talk about it.


Get out.  Seriously, just leave.

You want to pirate a quality game?  Fine, but at least have a little class and shut the fuck up about it.


How does everybody not know that a cousin is transitioning? It's not exactly an overnight thing, hell I only see my family once a year but everyone was vividly aware that I was transitioning before I'd even come out all the way myself.

Don't y'all have mothers and aunts who gossip like there's no possible tomorrow?


What he provides for proof is up to him. But the question of what proof is sufficient is determined by what the users decide is sufficient. This is clearly what people want to believe his claims. If he posts medical records or whatever, that works too.


No worries here then:)


You beat me to it. Have an upvote.


Have no clock and they have to come out after 24 hours to get the money. If they stay longer than 25 they dont


How is this legal? It is vandalism and straight up property damage. I would call the police on you.


That's always an awkward conversation to have at the bar:
"Hey, I see your on reddit on your phone.....I also go on reddit."
"Oh...yeah..."
"Did you see the-"
"Yes."

Edit- Being a dick about grammar adds nothing to the conversation. I understand the difference between "your" and "you're". Fuck all of you, I'm not changing it.


Great, then 99% of all wedding guests ever can fuck off and not come. That way the bride and groom can be surrounded by people who care enough about them to pick up their own dinner tab.


4. Charge $2000 for the computer and the building


Shit, it was a joke. Lighten up a bit brah.


"Man, I could just... kick this person in front of me"
"What if I threw my keys off this bridge? Oh god stop".

I think we might be different people.


Well, to be honest, its been so long that it probably wouldnt matter now. Hes probably over it. It wasnt that big of a deal


Never been high--except on a drug called Ken Jennings!

(Warning, Ken Jennings may cause drowsiness, nausea, "housemaid's knee," night blindness, paralysis, or death.  Ask your doctor if Ken Jennings is right for you.)


You haven't played the game lol


Almost as startling is the fact that Peter's journey is kicked off by the **Bing** results of his fathers name. He's 17 years old. He never thought to **Bing** his dads name, ever?

EDIT: http://imgur.com/qyhi5


But was it worth being a dick? Why belittle and mock someone just because you think they're misguided? I mentioned it somewhere else- I love this sub, but this is just being an asshole. Step it up, ladies.


It would be very American to travel around and attempt to out-asshole the locals.  I could be the next Idiot Abroad...