In all fairness, I was pretty awkward too.


I wouldn't want some scumbag politician using taxpayer resources for a campaign stop, unless he paid for it out of the campaign's reelection fund.

Did Obama offer to pay you?


I like the part where everybody gets to be happy Jews


But the 80s weren't 30 years ago...

Edit: I know the 80s were 30 years ago. I should have said something more like "but the 80s weren't 30 years ago ... were they?"


For now, get in the bath and see if you are heavier than a very *very* small rock, or a duck. If you float, witchbrafft.


Nope.  The person living there can sign off.

Sorry.  Do not pass go and do not collect welfare.


Looks like the ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Djoks on you.


woooheeee! haha! *chuckle* HAHAHAHA! hehehe!

*whistling*


I will follow u around.


wow you sound like a real prize asshole


>Seems like you **forgot** something in your comment.

FTFY.


OP's pic.

is this the birth of a new epic meme?


>When I turned ten or eleven, I knew what was coming for my birthday: envelopes full of money. You're thinking, "Awesome!", right? Wrong.

First World Jewish Problems.


It's the feeling of being wrong.


Probably for the same reason you would pierce a giant hole in your ear.


Nah, that punchline still comes out of fucking no where at that point.


But I do so with a head nod, not with a handshake.


I'm not joking, and there's no debate here, that dude is a paedophile! Hope this helps!

e: thanks for helping me tag a bunch more paedophiles in my RES, btw, /r/lgbt. I am disgusted.


It depends on how much your parents loved you.


I just plain don't give a shit, it's a painting. Put it behind glass is they don't want people fucking with it..... common sense.


Solidarity my good man.


HAHA DA OP ID DA WETARD!!!!!!!!!!! MY MOMMY SAYD DAT DEY SHUD CUT OFF DA TESICALES OF DA OP SO HE CANT MAKE DA WETARD BABBYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAGA GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


My favorite is, "you can't expect people to know things you don't tell them."

Saves my boyfriend countless headaches.


What a nazi mod.  Let the downvotes do the speaking I say.


To encourage people to keep track of them.


lol, upvote for youuuuuu.


This bothers me as well. Just because you can put white text on an image doesn't mean you've created a new meme. A meme requires mass acceptance and a collective understanding of the joke/picture etc.


I used to beg for cats, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I am a sharks fan and I endorse this message.


And a gaming starcraft fag is a gaming queer with asthma. Stay in the dark sweetheart. And collect your karma. Kisses


Exactly the same thing happened to me when I was like 10! I was too young and shy to straight out ask for a drink so I went to the bathroom to drink from the tap...but I couldn't find the light switch. I ended up drinking from the hot tap. I don't regret a single second.


So you shaved you head in V for Vendetta. Did also you shave you V for vagina?


My last FT job the boss once threatened to fire a kid for not coming in. Kid had the flu.

Kid shows up. Is puking at least once an hour and manager didn't bat an eye about him being there.


Oh fuck right off. I hate SJW's and I'd record and display this shit. You know damn well most of those frat bros probably don't even know what a SJW is.


That was very British.


I apologies [](/okay)


Poor bastard, To go from a stand up guy to having your life destroyed, Killing an innocent person and feeling like the people you we're supposed to teach and inspire are the reason for destroying your life and turning into that. It must have been terrible.

**EDIT: Innocent? No. What I'm meaning to say is she did not, In my opinion. Deserve to die.**


Yeah because Van Gaal's first team options haven't been limited at all, what with only having +50 injuries and a remarkably inexperienced defense. The £150m point would have considerably more substance if there hadn't been multiple games this season where every one of our new signings were out injured at the same time.

Funny how that bit is always left out.


I once took Psychopharmacology cuz I thought it was gonna be about crazy farm animals


You are also breaking redditquette by complaining about cross posts.

[reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/help/reddiquette)


I'm only 33, and I make my smiley's with noses as that's the way I learned back in the mid 90's days of trying to chat up girls on #teens ;-)


Jolly Rancher, cum box....

Edit: that's right fuckers... Downvote me....

Edit 2: yeah, keep it coming.


Here's a shot for anyone interested...
http://imgur.com/MvXWlK6

And the IMDb link:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119310/


WTF are we talking about? "Raping puppies" by M. Night Shyamalan? It cant be worse than "The Last Airbender".


If it makes you feel any better, she'll never consider you, and then you're going to die.


No, actually it's the opening shot.


Well, that about covers it.


Awww shit!! We have a sex specialist up in here!! Getting all technicals and shit!!


Oh shit yeah, good point. I hadn't thought of it like that.


The difference, Chris Leben is a Pussy douchebag. Bonnar has class.


It's my dick and my soap and I'll wash it as fast as I want!


There are motorcycle clubs for police.

http://thinbluelinelemc.com


If a bee pretty much does anything it dies, apparently.


This one is water why would the other one be an orange?

Edit: Gonna keep my comment but wow, that escalated fast.


Maybe he did. What a Jackass


Of course it's in 7 papers.  The overwhelming majority of Editors and Editorial boards at major newspapers across the country are liberal leaning.

Romney has an uphill battle, but it's far from over.


First you gotta slay like 25-30 ghetto hood rats, then you move on to the bunny ranch.  The key is to have a big dick and to penetrate perpendicularly to the goochal precipice.


There's a huge difference between a monarchy and a constitutional monarchy champ.


I'm picturing exactly one black guy on a bus, surrounded 3-deep by a ring of white people.  The rest of the bus is completely empty.


I'm so tired of this Canadians are the nicest people bullshit.


I just want to try and answer the questions as honestly as I can


Costed... You probably won't need a graphing calculator in any classes you're in.


This is possibly the best reaction ever.


You could use a grammar patch.


Yo dawg, I heard you liked social networks...


99% of rape claims are false and the result of marxist SRS indoctrination.

The rest are actual female on male rapes.

EDIT: Stay classy, SRS downvote brigade..


Browser history has only ever caused me pain and suffering.


Or he heard about someone else doing the joke and took the opportunity.


i was born in '98.

90s kidz 4 lyf

edit: holy shit i didn't think this many people would think i was serious.


That's usually what I tell women when on dates....

But yeah when it comes to steak all the beauty of it really comes from it's pink inside ;)


I found the redneck!!!


WHAT THE SHIT?!?!? Damnit! Already preordered!!


Well what were you doing going through his mail? That's your own fault...


**LOOK AT ME I**

**AM MAKING VIGOROUS LOVE TO MY**

**ENTER KEY IN A VAIN ATTEMPT AT**

**WHITE-KNIGHTING**


Is that a questlamation mark?


you're both fucking hilariously pathetic losers, congratulations on being reprehensible and most likely socially retarded, ugly, and fat.


I don't know about you, but I'm probably at my most alert when taking a shit - more so outdoors or in a hot zone. I'll be the wild-eyed guy clutching my rifle pooping at the speed of light, and shooting at every little creature that moves.


Yeah, so as a sub, do you prefer being told what to do in bed? Like if your ugly wife decided she wanted to fuck you up the butt, are you eager to bend over and spread your asshole? Have you ever created any Santorum? What does it taste like?

Oh, and on an unrelated note, how does it feel being a total scumbag?


Or when the baby comes out all clean


Yeah like your friend wouldn't feel like a major faggot for rubbing your leg for 5 minutes straight.

Nice try.

Fucking liar.


Probably because they didn't make it


the only tragedy here is, that the arsonist didnt wait for it to be constructed and have people in it


I grew up and currently live in western Canada, and it doesn't matter who you are, you hold that fuckin door. It's called common courtesy, and it has nothing to do with "the other person being a man".


I would if I was him. Sawbutter stalks the guy, check his history.

And although Mind_Virus is a power resubmitter, who fucking cares? Because if you do, it's time to leave reddit.

Edit: I love the fact I'm on -50 and not one person has given a valid reason, with proof, of why it matters that Mind Virus collects karma for fun. Reddit is a fucking joke of a 'community'.


screw the digg/reddit penis measuring contest - those who have digg accounts: digg this up - the more people the better
http://digg.com/world_news/Mentally_Challenged_Man_Beaten_to_Death
(Ill state the same on digg)


I used to think Heath Ledger (capitalize his name, you disrespectful prick) deserved to live, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


"Welcome to Costco, I love you."


i haven't been commenting nearly as much here

also you are a terrible mod


Narrated by Morgan Freeman


so

fucking

brave

Also, lol @ 15 year old girl sending nudes to me. The most I've gotten at pictures in bikinis. I would never accept nudes from someone claiming to be underage for the sole reason that it could be a troll trying to set me up.

Also lol @ going to police. "Yeah he shared my pictures with two friends. Oh, I shared his with 40,000 people."

keep rollin', 420 kush nigga


It also had a non story reason named budget.


TIL: USA comprehension is that of an 8th grader 👦


You were her last thing on earth. Bless you for real man.


she was jacking off and didnt want anyone to see.


I think that means it passes the Turing Test.


Fingers crossed i wont get it :(


I will not be broken.


Oh no! Not the website! Next they'll go after their brochures!


I'm not forming an opinion until Ja Rule says his piece.


~~I wish you did not make this shitty post, but you did. I just wished you did not.~~

I know who you are, but what am I?


It's very flattering to have your story taken, but the person who posted this on their blog took this from me.  I've posted this on Reddit before.  I've sent a message and posted a comment to the link you shared with me.  Thank you for bringing it to my attention.


Yea your post isn't very funny.


A corollary: People who identify with their opinions so thoroughly that to contradict them is to personally insult them.


Thats ridiculous. He had a bad day at work. A customer called me useless yesterday, wheres my 30k?

I should record my every transaction for some of that sweet revenge money.


"After that, I may smoke a marijuana cigarette"


Unfortunately, America is one of the few countries where evangelical Christianity (that is, the nutters who send kids to "Jesus camp" and talk about gays being the devil) is huge. It's not as prevalent in the rest of the world.


Lance Armstrong received transfusions of his own blood all the time.


I used to be a janitor and there was this hobo that hung out around my building and would always loudly sing that while drunk, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


Officially the *least* bizarre thing I've seen you write about.


You are not old enough to participate.

Edit: Downvotes from idiot teenagers. You aren't old, nobody forgot last year you retards.


And then everyone walked the dinosaur.


Why don't you toke up and listen to some angsty punk music instead of posting garbage on the internet?


User attempts to buy cocaine from undercover cop; spends last hours in jail.


Same man, though 7th isn't good enough with a title winning team.


That's not a question.  But I'll accept it anyway.


just because you're the OP doesnt mean you have to comment on every subcomment, go take a break for a bit


The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.


Joan was always wearing a rape me outfit. That sounds offensive now, but it was legal to rape a woman dressed like that back then.


The Anti-Burglar strikes again!


I used to provide the source in the comments, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


SOCIALIST OBAMA CAUSES HAIL AT PARAPLEGIC VEITNAM VETRAN SOCCER GAME


That's not Gabe... the chair is still intact.


Sorry, I didn't want anyone to be confused. Sorry if I offended anyone. My mistake.

Sorry.


65 trillion never forget


Tri-forcing is hard especially when a system 32 folder is in the way


Sexually exploit some more kids about it.

(don't do this)


Is it *anything* by Robin Thicke, or is it really just Blurred Lines?

Be honest now.


Personally I'd be alright with her helping out her ex-fiance but I'm atypical in that regard (very low jealousy). I'm not quite sure if Maggie is trying to subtly put down Amelie, she is certainly blunt with her words and phrasing but she has said that I look/sound leaps and bounds happier/better ever since I began hanging out with Amelie.


Also because OP is a faggot.


I'm sending you the repair bill for my laptop keyboard


You forgot a few:

ಡ_ಡ

 **>**:C

(╯°Д°）╯︵/    ლ(゜ロ゜ლ)


I don't understand how he accomplished that without Honey Boo Boo on television over there.


Wow, I hope you're ok...


no, im just successful and past all this bullshit.  what are you gonna do, bring your documentation to barack obama and demand starbux respect you more??


Student working in labs at the moment.

 Women look hot in labcoats.

That is all


That doesn't save money. Arguably, it costs more in the long run when you put extra miles on your car, depreciating it more and wearing the engine more.


I laughed so hard my sombrero fell off


Selling weed hurts nobody.

"If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so."


I bet you were excited just typing this.


DUDE!! I AM AT *WORK*!!!


Woody Allen:  "The Fact Is, I'm Jewish."


> having sex with a black man (especially gay sex) is like the most degrading thing ever

I'll take your word for that.


It's almost as if you speak from experience.


What did you do after you graduate? Suck dicks? Because you still can't capitalize the start of your sentences or end them with periods.


How are a cell phone signal and Princess Diana alike?

[They both die in tunnels.](/spoiler)


Amen */b/rother* amen


You will lose this as you age I am afraid (and by age, I mean from 25+)

Edit: purely for fun http://gamquistu.com/games/hearing, (I stress again this is in no way accurate or even remotely scientific,)


There are different forms of privilege.


NOW WE KNOW WHAT BARNEY STINSON'S JOB IS!!!!


wow, i didn't see them.


STARTED WITH A BOURBON NOW IT'S BEER


But clearly, we can't breed for aggressive traits, that's impossible! /s

Stupid pit bull owners...


Thanks for explaining your side and some of the economics behind what you do.  Please stick around, you have so many fans.


You're right. I'm not a real biker nor pool player. I'm so sorry.


Ru! Fi! Oh! Ru! Fi! Oh!
RU!!  FI!!  Ooohhhh!!


I'm sure they do. Canada is where I drive to once a week to throw my trash on the ground. But that doesn't change the fact that hockey is boring until something like this happens.


Gorillas in the myth.


Apparently God doesn't like him or his daughter would still be alive

Too soon?


They are a shame to our people, and a rotting influence on our young women.


How I Beat Your Mother


He did recently say women could wear pants! YEAH for Pants!!


SRS....helping people? You guys are getting soft.


I'm a male and I have more than 3 stuffed animals... You have not lived until you've cuddled yourself to sleep with a good 5 teddy bears in your bed.


you are such a slow fucking retard


this guy is now post nauseam


Advantage to what?

Having people see something?

Are you saying a subreddit is worthless unless it is a default?

How many subs have you started, are you saying that they are garbage due to the fact that they aren't defaults?

We both know that you do not care about default subs.


oh god please do this and record it so us internet people may have a funny


whats this? The thread of death?


As a woman who is fucking kinky as shit, I would kill to know other women this kinky.  I know nothing but prudes who think blow jobs are gross.


Hey, we have a similar policy in America! If you can't afford health insurance you have to be near death to get care. A little more civilized, but not much.


Cant wait for the trilogy:  Revenge of the Boss.


Reddit is not your personal facebook page. This is /r/IAmA, not /r/4221'sstatus, so fuck off with this trivial shit off my front page.


**YOU GUYS ARE SO FUCKING CUTE** 8/10 moderately easy to fap to


I believe the key part between "one-time hookup" and "possible relationship" is the fact that she went to the kitchen when she left the bed.


> Bald Man from Hitman

è_é


you 'd make a good scientologyst.


But he totally looks like a Zebb.

http://i.imgur.com/6cvubgK.jpg


LOL at the analogy. Very nice. With those kinds of analogies, you'd probably make a really good professor. Seriously. Have you ever thought of it?


>I picked Greek Orthodox entirely out of thin air.

>I still haven't told him.

He'd view your answer as divine intervention, right?


He does shady shit. He has been banned from /r/lol multiple times for upvote manipulation(in case you needed a well documented example).


🎶 *I'll make love to you*

*if you're not a Jew*

*and I'll hold you tight*

*if you're blonde-haired and white* 🎶


I bet he trained hard for it, and he sounds like a douche.


Go for really cute and dumb 19 year olds. They loves them some unemployed douchebags.


A fifth for matt cassell is trade rape
Edit: a fifth thats 1 pick away from a fourth


Role-playing is encouraged! You gotta *be* the banker. If anyone finds out. Say you are really sorry and fine yourself 1% of what you made


they say comedy is the antidote for tragedy, or something like that


Some cops need to get over it.  We work for the public, the public has the right to record us in that regard.


you've seen this before?


My parents would just get cheap antibiotics over the border in Mexico. That and roach poison and some other stuff like that (that we probably don't carry in the U.S. for a good reason).


was this a video of obama at the DNC?


It gets really lonely too.
Source: I went too hard too far into my 20s.


Smells like SRS in here


My first thought of a "Mexican Themed Grocery Store" is a terrible cultural bastardization where the employees have to speak in terrible, racist accents and wear a Speedy Gonzales uniform complete with six shooters.

Is this where we find the pear juice?


I havent seen it before so.


I swear by baby wipes.  I even bring the travel size ones with me to work.... and I'm a guy.  There is no excuse.

EDIT: my best comment Karma comes from talking about what I use to wipe my ass... I regret nothing.


Is it bad that my clan tag is KING.


My coworker's parents live in California. They have a bush that the birds and bees fight over. His dad said they were both killed instantly. We didn't question him. I imagine he knew because they were right next to the bush in question or becaue the bee was mostly intact.


If a moderator has a pet peeve and the other mods agree, they can enforce that pet peeve being removed. I don't know why that's such a hard concept for so many redditors to understand. You're not entitled to some free and open democratic society here.


I won't pretend to like George Bush as a president, but dammit, he handled 9/11 so well. Maybe he wasn't cut out to be a politician, but he has a good heart.


DAdy Nooo It HURTs GOO GAAGA!!!!!!!!


First of all...Screw AMC, [this video explains the whole frank situation](http://youtu.be/DDbi7P93Np8?t=11m55s)


I am; and don't call me Shirley.*

FTFY

Seriously, this is the /r/movies subreddit. If you're going to quote a movie, quote it with correct grammar (-:

**downvoted** :-)


Hello, I am a Japan.


I did NAZI THAT COMING


"You guys go after him. I'll wait here. In case he comes back"


You're in no position to tell me what to do, asshole. Go fuck yourself.

EDIT: No, you can't tell me what to do, and never could. All you could tell me was where not to do it. Understand that kicking me out of one of Reddit's most repugnant cesspools carries no threat. You are the lord and master of a shit heap populated by bottom-feeding morons.


Oh man, the mental image I now have is priceless.

"FUCK I NEED AMMO!! What the-.... shit? SHIT? AAAWWW SHIIIIIIIII-" Senator Clay Davis style.


I would have cut that ero-cook right there if Chopper wasnt in my way,he is important for my future wife Robin so I could havn't risk injure him while running to cut the dumbass cook.


I don't cut my finger or toe nails - I just pick them off


Yep, because all the stuff on here is related to trees.


he's is making sure he copies correctly, so when he pastes he doesn't accidentally dump that pornhub url he copied off a forum last night.  smart man.


it didn't; the dog was pulling it!


As horrible and inexcusable as that was, at least the U.S. didn't try to pin it on another country in the face of indisputable facts to the contrary. Russia has simply doubled down on its obvious lies.


Because the stuff he says is already known and he just repeats it to sound smart.


&#3232;_&#3232;

We only use virgins. Fortunately, there's a large supply of programmers who are virgins.


**HEY BRO, YOUR NOVELTY ACCOUNT SUCKS**

**AND YOU HAVE SPAMMED EVERY GODDAMN CREVICE OF THIS THREAD WITH YOUR SHITTY COMMENTS**

**YOU ARE NOT FUCKING FUNNY**

**YOU ARE NOT CREATIVE.**

**YOU ARE NOT ORIGINAL**

**YOU ADD NOTHING TO THE DISCUSSION.**

**FUCK OFF.**


Someone is commenting?  Commenting is OVER!


I'm a photographer, wasn't much bother to just move a few feet from my desk and snap a picture


That's actually really funny.


If killing terrorists is a problem then you're probably a terrorist. Or you're just stupid.


...and I have cable.

*Cuts to Rob Lowe sitting on a leather sofa surrounded by friends, watching football.*

With DirectTV, I can watch my favorite shows surround by friends.

*Cut to serial killer Rob Lowe sitting on the floor, surrounded by dead bodies.*

With cable, I can watch my favorite shows too. But my friends aren't the most cheerful.


Oh I'm sure they would, meanwhile this is what happened when my team from the state of Minnesota played at Wembley last season:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/nfl/article-2438414/Minnesota-Vikings-34-Pittsburgh-Steelers-27--Wembley-Stadium-picture-special.html


I'll be relatively straightforward. I think the only major fuck-up here is that you guys dug too greedily. And too deep.


I here by break this circle jerk.


white, because the house is at the north pole, therefore it must be a [polar bear](http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/funny-pictures-gifs-polar-bear.gif).


...And this is why people develop eating disorders, buddy. Think twice next time.


the ultimate clockblock


Well surely that's what a relationship is? You go from being one to being two.


What? Are the asterisks some kind of inside joke?


It's Reddit's fault more than anything. over half their team Underperforms but since he got focused and shut down, he gets all the hate.


You developed a bow, but used it like an arrow.


I can't watch shows with ugly people...


Try having kids then.


You realize that you're on camera at every retail establishment and most public places, right?


Who will be your assistant?


That's so clever and original!

Edit: I'm fine with the downvotes, but this comment comes up every single time this picture is reported. I just don't like it when reposts (including reposted comments) get so much love, because this just promotes more reposting. I don't want Reddit to become boring because we don't produce new content (including comments).


You and I must go to different strip clubs.


I thought it was much better, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Then we'd see a video of a Chinese woman titled "American Tourist Have No Manner!"

"Look how he just throws Chinese people around when we're trying to get our tickets!  LOOK!"


Too busy looking at your tits, obviously

Edit: Deserved it. I ain't even mad.


You're right, that was fun.


Nope. No niggers on the internet. Feel free to prove me wrong.


dies from cocaine overdose. HOME ALONE.


THIS NEEDS TO DIE ALREADY! Have some fucking self respect.


Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from technology.


It's okay, Liberty Prime only appears after the endgame quest with the Broken Steel DLC


When I got my first laugh in a school play, it really did become like a drug. I craved laughs. I lucked out.


Well I guess for most people it's great. But if you're a crazy person like me 40 gb ain't gonna cut it.


and may God have mercy on his soul.


i cannot believe this is getting upvotes.

attention reddit: just because a well-known novelty account writes a longwinded response does not mean it is a well-thought-out or reasoned argument.


I swear to god no one on Reddit knows that there is a legislative branch of government that is just as powerful as the president.


You're right, NASA was a fucking booming enterprise before Ted Cruz was put in oversight of it.
Remind me of all they've done recently?


I had a German foreign exchange student live with me for a year, now he mails me kinder stuff.


This.

EDIT: Fuck you guys.


We had an exclusive group in our frat called Country Club. Around 2am we would drunkenly put on sweater vests and smash shit in the front yard with golf clubs. There was also the high society club that would smoke weed and watch.


Grow up and stop hating people who work hard and have more than you. If you removed her from the scene untold thousands of jobs would disappear. There comes a point where more money for yourself means nothing and she is long past that. She's trying to tell Australians that we are pricing ourselves out of the market in numerous ways and she is right.


"Had to be me, anyone else might have gotten it wrong". Didn't think I'd ever be that bummed from a video game.


Webspinner added Malorne before GvG was released? I don't know what you're trying to say.


Especially with some sort of time dilation effect, so that what feels like 20 years of holodeck time is only a fraction of a second in the real world.


True but how many 24 year have worked as hard as he did to get there?

EDIT: Wow a lot of you are delusional.


Jokes on her, I bet he's gay.


besides the-one-who-jerks every single one in the first row has face that wouldn't be casted in porn set

but i should've specified that i was referring to their faces, as always when it comes to girls;)


At least her mother had some decency.


As far as I know nothing except for torch cutters and other intense flame based tools can cut through steel. So this is probably fake. Still a good animation though.


You bent oreos? You sick fuck.


Isn't it 5 years? 2015-2020 is 5 years


Good God. Just imagine how much resides in Rick Santorum's lower colon!


Want to watch the play in real time and see if you still agree? Because that play happened a lot faster than the gyf.


This happened to me once in college.

I set my alarm, fell asleep. Then my roommate woke me up saying, "Hey man, your alarm has been going off for awhile now."

I looked at the clock, it read 7:50 and I had an exam at 8. So I throw on some pajama bottoms and run all the way to the exam room, only to find that it was empty. The exam took place the day before. Yeah.


Over Goldeneye?  I think not good sir.


Fuck, I spent that whole movie looking for Batman and didn't see him once. Will have to re-watch.


Would someone like to logically debate how the minority of one move is supposed to judge the majority? Shawshank is one of my favorite films of all time, but that is one movie of tens of thousands.

EDIT: Still going to downvote but not post? That's cool.


I am surprisingly OK with that.


This just makes me think Martin Freeman is an immature twat.  I mean, I haven't flipped someone off since 7th grade.

Edit: ha, a few initial up votes then blam.  I guess people like it.  Personally it just feels so low effort.


I feel the need... the need for creed.


A partisan Democrat asswipe?   Is that what you were thinking of?


I think even back then you could tell if someone was crazily falling around (i.e. possessed by the devil) or rhythmically dancing (i.e. being possessed by the devil)


What is this °C?  A temperature reading for ants?


"I don't see race. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because I can catch a cab." - Stephen Colbert


Can I punch your fuck face? Can I punch it, you chotch bag little bitch trying to act like you know about anything other than browsing reddit? Can I?


Just got an iPad today, and found reddit from my nephew.  Not been lucid enough to actually use the Internet. So, it's not a throwaway it's an aloha account.  Hello and goodbye


Doesn't matter what you think. You're wrong.


I have cancer.

Ahem.


So why am I being downvoted?


GET THE **FUCK** OUT!


The FAGGOT is strong with this one

Samefag detected


I said glass of juice, not gas the Jews!!


Thanks for the spoiler tag


Rudeness. A propensity to commit hate crimes.


I hope you realize later how fucking retarded you are, thinking that winning one La Liga is significant in the same time period when your rival wins 2 out of 3 Champions Leagues and 3 La Ligas in a row. Dumb fucks know nothing about football do they?


My sister's bff in high school was like that. Most flamboyant 9th grade boy I've ever met in my life. Three years later he came out of the closet to the surprise of absolutely no one.


Lol Andromeda is the closest Galaxy to us.

Damn, down voted for regurgitating a fact I was told multiple times in highschool :/


Me and you both (._. )


I'm glad you guys took care of this, but was I the only one slightly disappointed there wasn't one with Busey too?


I'm pleased to say that I never actually cared about this, nor did I watch the video.


Are you getting that good good though ? I know for a fact exactly what I am getting. You got that schwagy schwag doe


I always referred to it as the gameboy mechsuit


Thanks for the answer to the question I didn't ask Robot-dictionary-guy.


$1,000,000 or more, keep your brain pretty much identical to how it is now but without adverts


Thanks I take pride in how I raise my only child. She has an open mind and we can sit for hours and discuss many topics that other adults cannot extrapulate. People are quick to judge based on their own personal inhibitions.


I was expecting this story to end with "she had lost the weight and looked stunning. We boned in the parking lot behind Wendy's while her kids waited inside and ate Frostys."


OMG. how did you know?


It bothers me that we've actually come to a point where we have to commend others for using the word "literally" correctly.


Christian Bale for the batman voice.


Go put on the wrong size shoe and walk around in it for a while.


I think you misunderstand how life and nature work.


I'm a male and what the hell are you talking about?


How can suicide be not an act of cowardice?


I remember the day I saw my hair was thinning.  I don't remember caring much.  I don't care.  It's just hair.  It never bothered me much.  I was pretty young, too.  And it happened and is happening veeery slowly.  I have a feeling dead people get really mad when we complain about losing hair.


I believe, sir, that that is where we got those cheats in the first place.


Bitch, about:blank isn't a website.


What is sad is he could have done much to improve the life of the Chinese workers making his products but failed to do so.


Ah yeah, I remember hearing about Princess Diana on the radio... and dashboard, and windshield...


who the fuck watches LoL at the edge of their seat for 50+ mins when waveclearing champs stall the game out longer than apex brawl 2012

vs MAYLAY

god i love maylay

EDIT: this is why /r/Ssbm is better they get the fact that they shouldn't take me seriously all the time

not dank lol fans not dank

can you even understand my elaborate choice of diktion??????

fkin love maylay m9


Pretty good overveiw, though it was Sadat who signed the peace treaty with Israel, Mubarak just inherited that treaty. Additionally, the Muslim Brotherhood is not considered a terrorist organization by the US, it is by Russia though.


That really doesn't do justice to a headline that mentions a replica handgun. Try again, or step aside and let someone more qualified do it.


Unbelievable balls. That could have backfired wildly.

That is awesome.

Edit: I wonder if he will leave the church after this though.  This must have consequences within the clergy.


I used to be a cool ent grandpa, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


He was probably a juggalo


I do know what it does, what are you going on about?


More like **FUCKING NUKE DODGED**


Drugs are bad and you are satan.


"This is not the sink you're looking for."


Nice usage of tax. Talk big, hide behind taxwall like a coward. If you're gonna provoke those shits, just do it yourself without harming other people around you.


Nice name, and this isn't possible. For so many reasons, namely I see someone trying to shave a large monkey getting clobbered.


Is that such a crime?


Just one, when it gets hit by a car and he can never smile again.


Shame on anyone who takes this as fact. How do you know this is not just someone trying to gain sympathy for the cause? I find it hard to believe he remains on the phone while all this is happening. He seemed to have survived perfectly fine yet presumably all his 8 daughters were hit in the head after a shelling. You don't find any need to question this at all?


I think about this every day and it just baffles me that other people have lives. I feel like I'm in the Truman Show.


Monkeys don't resemble humans.

Monkeys and humans resemble the same common ancestor.


I have the munchies and a relaxed sense of well being just from this post.


I still wonder how a Gaijin could do this and not get killed. I wonder if it's because he's a gaijin and they thought it was a sort of a novelty...


But dude did you read the articles the family was chained by this song, and only by winning a lawsuit were they freed.


Up vote 4 making me lol.


At my office, people kindly offer to take the team out for lunch.


I know but people do not look at the comments that much. I am just trying to show what is wrong with Reddit.


Pretty solid strategery if you ask me


by a bike length? that should help a lot


I can see why your pet hates all of those things ...

curious though, cat dog or other?


Date rape, get a girl drunk enough that she can't control herself.

EDIT: Or you do it the Jersey Shore way and arrive an hour before its over with minimal pregame.
EDIT2: Just because you've both been drinking doesn't make it not rape.


That's what we call revenge here in Canada


He had such big balls that they outweighed his autism.


THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN I BREAK YOUR FUCKING LARYNX.


Le meme gemes belong in /r/adviceanimals, not in text form in /r/funny.


Let's be honest here. *Nothing* at Subway is fresh.


This is how you get karma.


At least he consulted the internet.


So...making a few t shirts and posters for the sake of a camera op on a comedy show is what we're gonna call "doing something about it"?


YEA I LOVE THIS SONG TOO!


You got downvoted because you dared to question the /r/conspiracy hivemind (circlejerk).


What happens in Antarctica stays in Antarctica!!! Why you snitching, man! WTF!?!


The other guy wasn't. But all right, sure, whatever.


I couldn't resist setting that to music: http://igreiga.org/belair-transcript.mp3


According to the cop of course. Becsuse we all know cops NEVER assault civilians.


Could I **BE** wearing any more shorts?


Imo, this post answered the question 10x better than robotrollcall's way too long and inconcise , oversimplified, incomplete explanation.


Was she dead, or did he just lose track of her in the store while you were talking?


I've seen several people with this sign, with nearly the exact same message. It's just some people being attention whores. I mean who the hell is saving the clothes they were raped in? Come on. These photos are sensational, and this "I dare you" bullshit, and hyperbole does not make a serious issue any more serious.


What? People...think this?


I hope she drives off not knowing the little retard is on top... then breaks and backs over his head so child brain cracks all over the road, guts and blood hahaha


Yes. So good. - Chuck


I sympathize with the disabled, the homeless and the destitute. Not people whom didn't work hard in school or whom pursued over-saturated fields, these people only have themselves to blame for their misfortune.

Plenty careers have skill-shortages but what we have is a generation who is too proud to learn a trade like plumbing or carpentry, or are to lazy to become engineers and doctors.


Nah, I'm just planting some linden trees here


shovel dog is the greatest thing on the internet.


Will will be here soon....  (or) will Will be here soon?


So you believe everything you read on a facebook screenshot?


It's mostly not visual patterns of letters, I either picture myself doing signs or just feel my arms moving as though I was doing them. My first language is ASL not written English, so that's what I think in.


I could not handle all the buttsex.


So really, the title of the submission was misleading in nearly every single way.


I'm a writer, too.  The conflict in your prompt is not actually a conflict.  It doesn't require events to resolve, just a little extra imagination.  But I believe it wasn't coming from prejudice.  Thanks for responding here.


"Ok, Sam, after you."


I've removed that website from the list.


5 years old is preschool age. 6 years old is kindergarten. You can't get into school if you're a giant dummy. You have to be somewhat capable, so I'm sure the 5-6 year olds are told by parents that they must claim they know math, etc. just to get into school. If you're bad at math you won't be admitted. That was how it was for me and private schools at least.


As horrible as it is, who honestly didn't expect this to happen? Can't cash in on karma if you really want to maintain the secret.


IT Crowd? Ugh.

Seriously, that joke is [really, really old](http://bash.org/?60469). Hell, it probably actually had its origins on Usenet.


Nerf knife next patch pls


Came here to say this. You sir get an upvote.


"The research we published **ourselves** shows that there is no corruption in FIFA"


Here comes the downvotes from /r/srs[.](http://i.imgur.com/POixx.gif)


false. i believe red indicates a precrime murder.


What an immature faggot. There's a better way to handle this than walking off like a little 4-year old.


It's actually been explained quite well. He's not wearing anything that was unavailable or even all that uncommon in that time period.
It's purely coincidental that he happens to resemble styles that are fashionable in the present.


You'll never attract big players with no CL. We know this to be a fact don't were boys?


I'm fine, I have really good fans, people still come up to me all the time and show me love....I'm still making money off being creative, I'm happy.


And you're just a perfect example of a bitchy woman who's an online coward. If taking the piss out of others helps you sleep at night, go ahead, but it won't fix your crippling insecurities you so obviously suffer from.


things like this shows how hate, discrimination, and all other bad habits are learned, not inherent.


THERE IS A 90% CHANCE PARTS OF THIS STORY ARE FABRICATIONS OR FLAT OUT LIES. QUIT KARMA WHORING EVERYWHERE.


stady comes along
one and hershen song
dwadle lemon kind

They told me to sing and I started singing "wheels on the bus" but they couldn't use any actual songs for copy write issues so they had me babble and sing random words for a few hours and took out the parts they liked the best!


>Don't get me wrong....I DO work

keep telling yourself that.  as far as i am concerned, you're just one ladder rung up from that bitch that got knocked up for the child support check.


But tonight I see a beautiful girl

She's the most beautiful in the world, tonight

I think I'm in love with her tonight

We're gonna love together forever, tonight

Totally works


Technically, no, but it will be in the graveyard when the triggered ability is put on the stack, and that's what matters.

EDIT: Okay, I'm honestly baffled. Can somebody please explain (in a civil way) why this has -50 points?


He dominated the X-Games with all the stoners competing so don't think that factored too much.


You're getting lots of grief but I thought both of your post were hilarious. Haters gonna hate.


You're the saddest bunch I've ever met.


Don't insult her like that.

Edit: Not like it matters now, but to clarify...I meant to not insult OP.  I think Maggie Gyllenhal is fugly.


Not to detract from the amazing creativity on his part, but I assume that there was a great deal of editing involved to make that interaction appear fluid.


I don't know but I sure hope the terrorizers do the right thing and bring this one down as well. Then, it will be truly finished.


if a person's honestly so stupid as to be soured on all of LGBTQ by *one* such incident as that, i don't see that there's much of an ally to be made of him.


Hey, I'm so self centered I need to make sure all the arrows on the road are pointing at me.


"caught cheating"

please elaborate. why would i cheat with a fucking inventory worth more than a 4k monitor


The cat demanded entertainment!


You realize the complaint about le is just as trite, hm?


Example 1 is spot on.

The minute your family is in any danger, whatever you think is your duty is second to preserving their safety and fuck what anyone else thinks.


Reddit is so obsessed with this natural selection thing, it's annoying.

 It still doesn't make it funny.


*Once you van Gogh black...*


It our country, not his. He is not a citizen and doesn't enjoy our rights and protections under our Constitution. He does, enjoy the protection of the Secret Service, but that's about it.


That's ridiculously endearing.


Said no one ever.

Seriously I love the games and play through them once every year or so but there's only so many times you can wreck shit in Kleiner's lab while you're waiting for the exposition to fucking finish.


WTF are we gonna ask him? This video was his AMA.....


I have an almost irresistible urge to downvote you, just because.....

Edit: Ouch dammit, I was making a joke, *I* didn't down vote her. Going by the votes on her comment, I wasn't the only one with the impulse though...


I've definitely had those "How hard could it be? I'm an engineer, I can figure it out." thoughts before that usually end badly...


It might be a good idea to talk to her and let her give her side of the story. Yes, she's having sex outside of marriage with people you don't know, without your consent, and without telling you -- and that's fucking terrible. Be angry about that. But it's also JUST sex, as far as you know. I realize that sounds kind of ridiculous right now, but in 10 years it won't.


.... Samantha!!??

**Edit:** "Mom!??"


daaaaaaaaaaaaamnnn chill lol


Wow. How old was she? Was she from a country where pizza hadnt caught hold yet?


I never really left, my dear.


Jesus.  State level republican politicians don't fuck around.  They let you know right up front that they're nuts.

Edit - since this was hugged to death, I created an imgur album from the tab I had open.

http://imgur.com/a/34qfc

Edit - Dozens of seconds spent trying to reap that sweet sweet mirror karma and all for naught.  Thanks /u/zipzipzap


I, too, can piggyback on the top comment for easy karma with a post that is unrelated to the one it's replying to


Thank god for "blalalala", just saying that out loud makes me chuckle.


POW! Right in the kisser!


Che Guevara was a rabid socialist.  John Galt is a rabid capitalist who represents Ayn Rand's ideal man.


*Got him playing video games that young?Poor Kid never had a chance*


He sounds like a fun guy.


OP:Before you do anything, I suggest scraping your brother's rotting carcass off of the road. Nobody wants their tax dollars paying to clean up his irresponsibility.


I didn't see them fall in person, but from NJ you could see the dark smoke cloud trailing away for days afterwards. Haunting.

I live in a commuter suburb, and it was heartbreaking to see chalk marks on the tires of cars left in the train station parking lot increase day by day. It meant those people weren't coming home.


That's like talking about both sides of the evolution/creationism debate.


Not with that attitude.


I guess if there is a way to direct link, then there will be direct links. Probably, the easiest way to work with it as a revenue earner is to take direct linking into account in your business model.

But hey, what do I know, I'm salaried with no professional connection to what I'm commenting on. Cheers!


Fuhrer "The Adolf" Hitler. It's got a nice ring to it.


It's funny 'cause they are niggers.


I want "how can camera even fair?" to be the new "but who was phone?"


The relationship is far from worthless. I love the kid to death. And he's probably thinking it but I hope he doesn't leave me for that.


Yeah, I was really raging as I calmly typed that up. Maybe you shouldn't use words you don't understand.


What you really wanna do, if you hate your teacher, is change the wallpaper to an obscure picture of some African tribe performing complex sacrifices. Then, when your teacher comes over to view the strange and wonderful wallpaper that you have recently installed on his computer, you stab him.


Is this a rhetorical question, or can you simply not read?


My grandpa was left handed his whole life because there was a girl in his class that was left handed. He taught himself to be left handed so she wouldn't be alone.


He told her explicitly to stop skipping school and she kept doing it anyway. He didn't want to be a pushover. Just quoting the judge's interview on ABC13 (Houston)


"What the fuck do you want me to do with this?"


That will happen with 2 GB too though. If that happens to your phone, it's a bug


Plot twist: It was Zack and X having sex and OP's wife likes to watch.


It is funny because it is not what I said. Funnier, my first post which got downvoted to oblivion and trolled out of hand does not seem to have been refuted by anyone.


I used to take an arrow to the knee but then I took an arrow to the knee.


>Shy, [f]irst time, look at my gaping arsehole.


You have to magnify her flaws and drag her through the mud a bit to bring her down to your level.


That was just a misplaced /r/circlejerk post.


Fuck Lindros, Scott Stevens gave him what he deserved.

Bring on the downvotes.

Edit: -53? not bad


I lost my left hand to gangrene AMA


so?

reconnect with another name and stop making a big deal out of nothing.

you used the name of a regular, when you are some unknown new guy nobody knows about. delete this stupid post already, it's clearly not a big deal.


He only eats defenders now.


Gaben probably smells bad, too.


God I hope she meant she'll just miss Carry, your child, who she's going to miscarry.


demonstrate how water vapor can do what you believe it does, as well as your meteorology credential and we can have a discussion.  I hit the you back because I correctly assumed you would act victimized by my comment rather than recognize your participation.


Not all intolerance is bad. I, for one, am intolerant of people scamming my family out of money. And getting kicked in the balls.


I don't mean to in any way demean or diminish your experience and what your employer did was absolutely definitely not justifiable, but I'd probably find that outfit very attractive on a woman.


Obviously his face got in the way of her forehead... pretty simple.


Does her gender matter?


Probably the right decision...


What if i told you that I knew this already, but I was trying to expand your way of viewing the issue...freaky?


...this could be complete bullshit and I would never know.


a sir caught it near fort saint john, BC a couple days ago. i am trying to find out if he ate it or is getting it stuffed :P


This is *extremely* funny.


Just roleplaying the reviewers. I understand now. Thanks.


Thanks for answering the question for us.


Hilarious?  I'm not sure that word means what you think it means.


One of my female friends once asked me "Why do guys want to see boobs so much? Haven't you already seen a lot by this time in your life?"

Me: "Yes, but we haven't seen all of them yet."

She had no response to that.


no, but I'd say you're getting into dangerous territory when you start to think "that guy made an intelligent comment-- I'd fuck him"


My actual name is Jake and this commercial has ruined my life.


http://i.imgur.com/KyWNw.png

original content do not steal


With your hand you shall continue to fap.


Reddit is moronic group think. Such is democracy.


Mr. Clinton isn't dead yet and it seems rather defeatist of you to assume he won't.


No, but they're definitely exploiting the refs. During the Ravens game, what they were doing was technically legal, it was the refs fault for not standing over the ball and preventing a snap before the defense was properly notified. They saw they could get away with it once, and kept doing it. They're basically testing the refs to see if they'll call them on it.


German solution: ... Nevermind.


Jenny McCarthy has rightly been attacked for speaking on the issue of medicine while not holding a medical degree and being a mere actress. I'm sure Redditors will now apply the same standards to Amanda Peet. What? No? Amanda Peet has the massive infrastructure of the pharmaceutical corporations at her back? Never mind.


I don't know why, but you're cracking me up. "All of the dying ones..." said so nonchalantly is killing me.


Yeah shes hotter than Watson.


Biggest douche or not, I'm just glad that there are other countries out there competing with America for fat white bitches.  Holy shit, when I first saw this lady, I just KNEW she was from Georgia or Alabama.  Then she opened her mouth, and I realized that America doesn't have a monopoly on fat, ignorant ass clowns.

Misery loves company I guess.


DAT fake nasty ASs!!!


Don't forget they also like shiny things and once they have ahold of it they never let go.


This is just a case of desperate virgins not having any perspective regarding either women or men.


I don't understand how some girls ever think that it's okay to lie about this.


This is absolutely wrong.


SHE'S FIFTEEN, NOT TEN! BACK OFF!


in the regular season? yeah. In the post-season? Nope. Not according to stats anyway.


**BECAUSE WE ARE ANGRY**


Exactly...All these Violentacrez wannabe's with this ridiculous Karma bullshit.


Absolutely disgusting.


demo...limited client..same fucking shit


Stop gossiping about your mother and go tell her it's bothering you.


That's what was happening here.


Wear a shirt with her husband's face on it.


Shittsburg is better than Detroit.


Unfortunately the bullet died on impact ha. He's one tough SOB though. He got stabbed on the same leg back when we were in college during a fight a frat. I'll see if he will send me a pic of those bad ass scars.


LOL nice flair.......NOT


I wish I was high on potenuse.


I hooked my neighbor up to a dog sled and used a dildo on a fishing pole to entice her. Made it all the way to the mall in record time.


Um, let him out of the car?


By the way, you might want to look into shaving that vag. A guy would take one look at that and run away.

Seriously, what are you trying to do? Create a forest?


Shhh. They're soaked in MAGIC.


In this subreddit, expect to get downvoted for no reason. Like the downvotes i'm gonna get for this post. Haters gonna hate.


"Chicken or Beef?"
"ALL OF THE CHICKEN, ALL OF THE BEEF."


Uhm, that's a meme made by 9gag...


Dogs are woman magnets. Seriously. They also encourage you to go outside and run around with them, which betters both your lives *so much*.

Seriously people, forget cats, go get a dog and get happier.


Jesus Christ use your words man.


As a Murloc, I BRrRRGGLLLLRRGLGLLGLRRGLGLGLLL!


oh noes, little miss feminist is angry, well nobody asked for your opinion bitch, get back in the kitchen, make me a sandwich, get me a beer and get ready to have your ass fucked.


The other reason was that they make money stirring up artificial controversy.

No one is stopping screenshots of their articles.


> Worked at Best Buy

I've never heard a happy ending to a story that starts like this.


Just to clear things up... "Grand Theft Auto" isn't actually a class of crime, it's just a name made up for a video game.


Don't forget how all the high schools in the movies are full of clearly defined cliques, that some of the girls clothes are way out of dress code, backpacks are a purely optional fashion statement to distinguish if you are a dork or not, and there is no supervision in the lunchroom.


> You know when you are in the ~~bad~~ awesome side of town when you see this...


I'm a woman of Indian descent, and I can tell you for a fact that India smells like a gigantic asshole, the culture is demeaning to women and the men think they have the right to treat a woman any which way they like. Also, no toilet paper. That's all you need to know.


do you read things? or do you just skip around.


"Ooh, my reflection! Time to beat it off to myself on the mirror."


He was in From first to last,  I doubt he can read.


Because I got to carry a movie.  I got to be the guy... nobody has let me do that very much... I'm always a side character and every frame of that movie is me.  Or mostly every frame.  I got to be heroic, funny, dramatic... it spoke to kids in a real way, made an impact of kids in a real way.  It was huge for me.


Good thing this kid tried this on a cop and not me.

Nothing says life lesson like a broke arm or leg in a cast for three to six months.


Oof ok, it'll only be on the internet forever, what could possibly go wrong? I tried to recreate the grin for you: http://imgur.com/hVKEO4T


So being an asshole is your response? You couldn't just say no and move on?


Come on man! One fedora per crew!


yeah me too with ahri! needless to say her charm skill is pretty effective


I wondered that too until he knew the exact name and location of the church where Celine Dion was married in.


Yea, especially the part where he will be listed as a registered sex offender tomorrow.


Fuck damnit tom I told him to stay away from the street cleaners


I wonder how many hours this guy has put in? To much I think.


AND HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT?


I don't think TrollYers have the balls to call someone a bitch.  That sub is full of depression stories.  TrollX is more hilariously cynical, which I like.

Penis'd human, here.


We have more in common with their people than we do with our leaders, and our leaders have more in common with each other than they do with their people.


Yeah, complexes are not caused by our childhood's idols. There is something beyond that, something I don't personally know. Perhaps it's caused by the girls natural character, but I wouldn't confirm it, I didn't study it or anything, it just seems logical.

Edit - this not so new voting system infuriates me. I'd really like to know how many people agree with me and how many don't...


my autobiography is my music.


Sigh.

Just take a look at the Minecraft forums, the Yogscast fans or forums or anything like that. Mindless, ignorant kids everywhere. 90%.

I know the truth hurts but hey, I'm not obliged to go soft on you now do I.


Don't sell yourself short.

I'm a 21 year-old student and I'd kill to be able to put $1,000 in savings every month.


I wonder how many of the resources their gov't used on this could have been used to feed starving children over there instead...

I mean, I'm not well-informed enough about their gov't's involvement in this but presumably this wasn't a 100% voluntary solution.


I know someone who dips a banana in his tea. A banana. In his tea. A banana.


I'm sure you know they used dog dye for a fact right, that must be how you can make such a strong statement.


I've always wanted to know what it's like being flash bung


edit: well well well, shut the fuck up


I work with teenage sex offenders... His son displays a lot of the characteristics of a socio-path. He needs to be evaluated for the safety of others.

EDIT: If OP has questions about the type of help given to individuals like this, I'd be more than happy to answer any questions for him.


It's their goddam right. They could fucking shoot her dead on the spot. So shut the fuck up, prick.


You're just bitter about missing out on all that snoo snoo.


Doesn't look like it.


"I swear, it sounds like he's banging his dick against the wall!"


Well, if you had laughed enough to choke and die it would have been perfect so we could avoid stupid ignorant comment like this one. Random fact; did you know that the average redditors here are stupid ? YES, look at BornWithCuriosity. Downvote me as much as you want but you can't change the pathetic truth about your own beliefs of GODS.


I'm not in space, I'm on the earth.
-Lady in gif.


Please refrain from cursing on the internet! :)

And Windows XP is a GREAT operating system. It's a lot better than Windows 7 or Windows 95. I don't know why you are giving them a bad rep! :) Windows Vista was the best operating system ever! Upvote is you agree. :) :)


I bet she got Jewish angry pretty fast.


> Is that when someone's hair gets so big it develops its own gravitational field?

There are people who think pretty much everyone in the world was actually black, but the white devils covered it up. The mods of /r/askhistorians banned me for calling bullshit on this, even though they admitted it was bullshit.


Now I really wanna try Denny's clam chowder.


dawgie gah gah goo mama!!! I WANA PWAY wit Dawggie!!!


"We're not outnumbered! We're just in a target-rich environment!"

Not a Chesty quote, but still pretty neat.


Haha maybe back in the 70's when shaving wasn't routine haha


I think he realised no one was the boss of him anymore.


spoken like a true doucher


You're not wrong, you're just an asshole.


ehheem.. correction, Madison Slut


Dear God, thank you for talking him about of buying her that bird.


That's BTS's fault for being lazy and not going to China. They claimed they couldn't get visas but then Sheever made it.


A Brit, I presume.  In america, when things get bloody, it's a bad thing.


You can't win.  Give it up.


>Take notes kids, this woman is now my wife 7 years later.

Well yeah, you clearly marked your territory.


I think one of your former players that wore the number 23 would disagree


I think it's a Canadian asking for more to eat.


yOU knOw hOw tO mAkE hIm stOp chAsIng hIs tAIL, trUst mE I knOw Its cAn bE An IncOnvEnIEncE. jUst chOp It Off, thEn hE wOnt hAvE AnythIng tO chAsE. sOmEtImEs thE sImpLEst sOLUtIOns. trUst mE I OncE pLAyEd An ImAgInAry vEtErInArIAn On A tv shOw In my drEAms


Wow man, 9/11 jokes don't fly around here.


>That is a Super Bowl contender.

The Cardinals were overrated all last year and apparently we're continuing the tradition.


"They're pop for people who hate pop, they're rap for people who hate rap, they're rock for people who hate rock..."

The Office


Dude is you dumb? Of course you can't hear over a screen... I bet that's all androids got right? Just a screen you can sink into with your specs and useless life...


No, that's /r/aaaaaatheismmmmmmmmmm


Another kid here .. move along.


This is quite useful!


Literally anything that could somehow reasonably be construed as support for the bollocks.

inb4 OPAN YER EYEZ, DA TROOPH IS URRVERYWURR, DA JOOZ IS URRVERYWURR.

Edit - you wanna talk shills? How about a few of your friends standing by in brigade mode. If we're talking "propagandists" on reddit, it looks like you guys have that scene more than "them" from where I'm sitting.


Great headline, millionaire trampled to death by nude co-workers. Last words of dying man, "worth it."


Well, aren't you an asshole?

What I'm talking about is a style issue. As an editor, our (as in the company I edit for) style considers 'male' and 'female' adjectival. It bugs me when other people use them as nouns, but, as I pointed out, it's not incorrect.

[Here's](http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/woman-versus-female.aspx) a good discussion of the issue.


That's some dark humor.


Well you're not a mod or admin are you?  I've been over this with them.

And, if you were more observant, you'd notice it's not just one domain.


its dota2, he is russian


You deserve more upvotes, sir.


I was expecting to see [her pictured with each US president](http://i3.asn.im/Queen-Elizabeth-and-US-presidents-_txq4.jpg) since it comes up on reddit quite often anyway.


how/where am I being an asshole?

I'm asking why "atheist jews" think that definition actually *means something*


This guy:

>[Inmate Tavon White reportedly made $16,000 in one month from smuggled contraband. Four corrections officers--Jennifer Owens, Katera Stevenson, Chania Brooks and Tiffany Linder, who are also facing charges--allegedly fell pregnant to White while he was behind bars.](http://www.cbsnews.com/news/four-female-prison-guards-impregnated-by-same-inmate/)


Seats are always cheaper on "Sunday, bloody Sunday"


"Fuck!  I'm late for work"

As you rip all of the IVs out of your body and then fall to the floor because your legs don't work anymore.  What a shitty way to wake up..


The joke is you're mom.

See what I did there?

Edit: George Bush.


You would die of happiness. And obesity.


He's falling over onto grass, not concrete. If he got knocked out from that he shouldn't be a referee. He's too fragile.


Millions of Americans respond by stomping down the hallway and slamming the door.


Doesn't make him right. Being nice in no way validates his religious beliefs. Nor should it make him immune from our criticism.


" *One more word* and I'm taking away your NATO privileges... Is that what you want?"


Different of cocky and arrogant like that. I hope that they get crushed at s2 championship they should remember their  6 0 by azubu.
edit :people should remember  why downvoting someone, i'm voicing my opinion but go ahead downvote


he totally lost control of the debate.


What, for last night?


Push with your legs, not your back.


Well that's just stupid.


Someone has to suck the venom out.


Your use of the word 'mirin' basically proves my point. Have an enjoyable fap :)


War is young people dying because of old people talking.


In the US even a submarine on one wheel would be road-legal.


"Do you feel a draft, Al?"


I was using "nerd" as a substitute for "loser" because I'm not trying to be mean. Either way, you don't know the girl enough to assume it was her loss


Just be yourself. I see too many players sit down, put a hoody and sunshades on pretending to be pros on a mission at the small stakes cashgame tables. The most important part is to enjoy the game. If you feel comfortable you are far more likely to win.


I play Team Fortress 2, too.

lol tu-tu


Upvote for "Oh god, here comes the rape"

Hysterical.


fuckin smelly indians


Many years ago, all Reddit posts were like this. At least, I'd like to think they were...


>Apparently, not everyone on the internet tells the truth.

You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies?


I would certainly call that a hostile work environment.  I'm a grown fucking man and there is no way I'm going to let anyone inspect my doodies like I'm some kind of toddler.


Seriously, how big of an idiot can one guy be? That's really fucking stupid. I would have thought you were a woman over how stupid you were.


I have a similar story. When I still couldn't legally drive with more than one other person in my car, my black friend offered to ride in the trunk to avoid getting me into any trouble.

We sure thought we were smart back then. Good thing I didn't get pulled over, or that would have been hard to explain.. especially if I insisted my friend volunteered to be in there.


people dont talk to you because youre just an annoying, fat, pimple-faced fuckturd. maybe you should go on the pal diet. i heard you can lose up to 50 lbs really quickly.


Fuck fuck fuck!  I started reading this and about 5 lines in (on my phon btw) scrolled up to check username.  I swore it said something else so I went back to reading... Got near the end and was like... Who is this douche rambling off topic and not having an appropriate username!  Scrolled back up and saw th right name!!  Fuck fuck fuck!  Well played sir...


It didn't work very well when I read it as though I was him in the story, in such an instance you read it as though the picture painted by the writer is everything the character knows.


They can't be alone with their own father?  This woman has some mental issues.  If I was the father I would be very concerned.  And I would try to get her to seek help.  This is not normal or healthy for the children.  They are going to grow up not knowing or trusting their own father.


Hey buddy, people come here for unique and interesting things on the internet, not fucking pet obituaries. Your cat was a stupid fucking piece of shit that made you and your entire house stink like cat piss. I'm glad it's dead, keep this stupid fucking pet obituary shit the fuck off reddit you stupid shithead.


There was an intermediary period when you slammed your flip phone shut, which in my humble opinion was infinitely more satisfying for its simplicity.

A physical switch that tells software to drop the fucker who is talking at me. **fwap**. It was a wonderful age.


Why is it shameful to not want to offend people?


it rhymes with benital berpes


Physical disabilities aside, there is no reason to buy one. And you can't tell me there are that many people with disabilities on the these things.  They're poser bikes carting around poser squids.


Is your advice, "Never date anyone. Ever"? Because that's good advice.


But... But... The karma! It keeps me warm at night... It gives me confort and makes the bad voices in my head go away... It talks to me and says everything will be better... HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT KARMA, YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER!?


It's offensive, like blackface for nerds.


The definitions they use are ones heard by men, used by men, and edified in grammatical works to systematically repress women, and you're excusing that. If you can't see how supporting language twisted into support false causes is harmful to equality, I don't know how I can help you. No progress can be made while people defend the existence of this so-called 'misandry'.


He's been planting the monkey unobtrusively in random places along your path for years. This was just the first time you noticed it.


Wow. If it only took 5 minutes to post this, I guess you really are a bot.


I find this comment hilarious while imagining you as a male.


He didn't have a choice. He didn't have a choice on whether he used those government services either. That doesn't mean that if the government didn't provide those services they wouldn't be provided by somebody else.

BEGIN THE DOWN VOTING!!!


Fried eggs, buttered toast and...what? A glass of water?

You monster.


Not if you are in ranked


It's so hilariously self deprecating, at one point the narrator literally goes:

"Please tell your friends to watch this show"


Assuming this is possible to do without immediate tax liability, it is a huge risk. What if you have $100 million in outstanding loans and the share price crashes to 0? Now you have a $100 million realized gain and nothing to sell to meet your huge tax liability.

Have fun in federal prison.


Many years ago I worked in a large cinema. At the end of a busy session we would wait (out of view) for the patrons to leave so we could clean the cinema. All it would take is 3 of us to start clapping as the credits started to roll and the rest of the audience would join in. Even if the movie was terrible. Good times.


Nothing. He turned the other way. Hes a cop. Thats what every single cop does.


We're at capacity and you're too fat to get through the doors.


The rest have some basis.


thanks, now I feel old :)


You're** You fucking idiot.


That's what makes this a pretty solid confession bear.


urban explorers are gay as hell why would you go runnin around trying to explore caves its pretty gay one of my friends (a guy) kept doin it and i told him that he'd have no chance with me if he kept jumpin into sewers and stuff he stopped but i still didn get wit him coz he was ugly >:) lol

**downvote me if you want to but you know its true an i wont change my mind on urban explorers**


State sanctioned murder. And there will be no Justice.


> Google Voice is the answer to *anyone of importance* complaining about this.

FTFY


No Orin, I don't know how I'm going to die.

...wait are you asking me or telling me?


> You are a coward.

Nope.

> Keep hiding behind "this was only a joke". You're only changing your ways because of the users here.

And you know this because you were totally privy to the discussions we had about doing this all weekend, right?


Hey I just shit my pants! I shit them daily! I love you baby! So call me maybe!


Shakespear sucks. I know I will get downvoted, but what is the reference?


Not only can, but has. For instance, Amazon's datacenter in Virginia.


damn ugh u hate to peace this


mayonnaise is not an instrument.


Nah, we're like the dude with the huge dick and tons of money who likes a girl's pic when she takes pictures with her boyfriend because he tryna steal that bitch.


You might have the most useful username ever. Thanks.


Longer than 4 panels: strike 1... Same face 4 times at first glance: strike 2.... Red fucking text: strike 3,4,5,6 etc.


NOBODY EXPECTS THE BUDDHIST INQUISITION


No tears for dead cops here. no one forced him to become a cop. ACAB.

more pissed about the whole repost thing.


for some reason i pictured the vacuum cleaner with a ripcord like a lawn mower...


No, **RAT**

Edit: Your downvotes, they do nothing! (except prompt me to make little downvote edits lol)


They wipe them down with the coverlet?


Mentally retarded ex English boxers FTW!


"Give advice with your mouth closed!"


Ah yes, you may be right. In another world, I may rather sing about Berlusconi, match fixing, and the great days of decade(s) ago.


"You humans are so petty... and tiny."


This comment is disgusting. She, on the other hand, is a human being.


Yeah! Those students aren't going to just seduce themselves!


a fifteen year old should not have been driving, let alone drinking

i hope you learned your lesson

look at this way, you got an extra box and a bunch of cards


Reporting is like the suggestion box in a factory. Nobody ever reads the suggestions they are just there so the workers feel empowered.


None of that is going to help him when the mob turns on him next. Grubby, tread carefully amongst the swine...


Some people think being a good parent = being liked by your kid and making your kid the cool kid.

Being a good parent is ensuring your child is well behaved. At the bare minimum level.


Didn't get that far into the posts, but thanks for the courtesy of the downvote...

edit: so many courteous people tonight, lol ;)


"I've always looked after your creatures god, why did you take mine?"

Wow


Doesn't change a thing.


Because it's kind of fucked up that she's so insecure she just revealed her tits to random strangers on the internet for fake points


No ban and no flair for you.


that's a really really nice dude!


>You do NOT have a future together.

Yeah that's really helpful. Consider your position before you give advice. People who have been there done that may be better suited to answering these.


Are you Leopold "Butters" Stotch?


The fuck outta here with that. There is no need to take offense at everything. You want stories with girls, then go tell em. Make that thing you don't think there is enough of.


I can rotate 900 degrees in my computer chair... does that count?


Nope, you aren't posting pictures... you are just being a dick for the sake of being a dick.

Enjoy dickdom, dick.


In the name of the Lord-ah!!!

I am gay-ah!!!

I got a hard on for hard ons-ah!!!

...Like that?


Did anyone else totally lol at this?

Edit:  Who the hell upvoted this?


It was a trap.

Found the French-Canadian!


I saw that as soon as I posted it. God damnit.


Hilary Clinton is perfectly palatable to the average registered Democrat American voter.


Title says "Feminazi" Feminazi = Feminist+Nazi


Bad for getting married, good for getting laid....


no one uses wikipedia.

EDIT: I guess some people use wikipedia, still not a reliable source though.


So, are you guys saying that if they don't want to pony up, then you guys will send them emails to get them off their asses? haha.  That's what I read anyway.

,
Sterling G Mace


third! gotta hop on that karma train

edit: negative karma is still karma

edit: keep the downvotes coming!!!


One of those things that would be surprising but also make you wonder why you didn't see it coming


Does /r/monsterhunter really need you commenting on every single Monster Hunter Frontier post? We get it, you play the game. Stop posting.


When you finish your police training, they will send you back, so you should learn to accept it.


Fuck a cat.

EDIT: Cats are gross, ugly, annoying, shedding, pissy, stupid creatures. They cant even learn their own name. That should give you an idea on how limited their brains are.


Jewish is a color? :)


Shut up you stupid SJW.


Sure, that sounds safe.


Didn't work then. Doesn't work now.


Unfortunately that's what our society has come to


No, I'm not a fag basher, I'm a homophobe.


determination, I like that. Was he that worth it?


Nope, just like the waitress. You're full of shit. Sorry.


I'm sure the '"Heaven is for Real" kid is totally legit. The other kid obviously isn't a True Christian™.


I'm not sure where I had much of an opinion? What I wrote is fact-based.


ding ding ding ding we have a winner


Americans like to argue that reduced guns do not bring about less violent crimes, but the facts are there and reduced guns do reduce violent crime. Stricter gun control is to the benifit of everyone other than the gun lobby.


And you can feel it working its way out all through your sinus cavity...good times.


This needs more up votes.


Bi guy here. Took me two hours to type this because my hands were unable to keep cocks out of them.


>What was **her** spending like during the engagement?

FTFY


No shit, right?  I read that like 8 times before I got the connection between the OP and who owned the skateboard.  I thought I was just being thick.


Killing a guy for stealing a car is justice?


TL;DR drove to my neighbors house, chilled with my dad, made girl late


All three are wrong. This is his opinion, not a legal conclusion. He ought to be downvoted accordingly.


It's like Christmas morning...but with STDs!


Not really.
If you can't pay back a loan, it shows that you are not a responsible person.
Do we really want irresponsible people to drive?


If you're a man they do


LmAo FarGiiiiiiiNg AuStRaliiiiiiiiiAnS !


Yeah, but they're playing monopoly right. remember: If you're having fun you're missing the point of the game.


You seem upset, wanna chat?


Whelp I'm an idiot.  I thought the bottle was filled with blood.


Please, PLEASE stop saying swole.

This is just too ridiculous. I'm out.

"Oh boo-hoo I have muscles"...get the fuck out of here.


Binghamton University is made to look like a brain from above.. I heard that the departments correspond to the parts of the brain.. arts where the brain processes art, math where the brain does math... dono how true that is.

[Map](http://www2.binghamton.edu/images/OmbudsmanMap.jpg)

[google satellite(it's upside-down)](http://maps.google.com/)


Sex is not a basic human need lol.


Actually we call it 'morning glory'.


There's a leek in the boat!


... and Harry Potter would have died in book one.


Yes, I must be downvoting myself and childishly stalking/harassing myself.

You're a fucking genius.


Lobotomy was seen as a legit treatment to mental disorders back in the day. Heck, it got the Nobel prize in 1949 for just that.


That's what I mean there's no option whatsoever for good reviews on the Xbox one. Just reporting people for some reason now.


>go to my exes house and shave down one leg

This piqued my interest more than the rest of the sentence.


> blinder today

 that makes no sense..


Ronaldo is overrated, problem?


What? Who the fuck didn't like Tom Bombadil? That guy is awesome, just wants to sing and bang his girlfriend.


No, with that "fuck off" comment, I was being kind. With this banning, I am being an asshole.


You gotta get that tattoo, man. She would want you to have it.


"An" is used when the H is silent such as "an hour".

"A" is used when the H is verbal such as "a hero".

Unless you pronounce "hero" "ear-o" then you should use "A" instead of "An".  Personally I pronounce "hero" as "Here-o" and so do most people I encounter.


They wank each other.


If you would like to have a discussion you would be best to submit this discussion to /r/evedreddit as a separate submission and get the opinion of the whole of our community. I warn you, you might not like what you hear. It can be painful to confront your privilege publicly.


if there's a fuck up I tell them they have a virus lol


Is that a prerequisite of being a giant douchebag? = living in sweden to become a giant douche... giant douche = ikea manager


Herman the mall hippy was fucking your mom.


Actually, I picked out the name lol


>When I asked her "Why did you call the police instead of just warning me?" her response was quite literally "Because I didn't want you to get a ticket." Dumbest fucking thing I ever heard come out of someone's mouth

she obviously wanted you to get a ticket

throw a molotov cocktail through her window and then say "i just didn't want anyone to throw a molotov cocktail through your window"


No sleeping, wow.  I can't imagine feeling that horrible and not being able to sleep through it.


aren't you the coward? you have no confidence in real life so you run around acting like a white knight on the internet defending people you don't know who never asked for your help. you're the coward, and a faggot. fuck off faggot.


If we all upvote this, we can just make this your top comment and you won't have to worry about it.


Oh, only took 42 downvotes before some dumbshit decided to comment. Way to go faggot


There will be No More Tears for the victims' families.

Was that distasteful?


Not if I have anything to say about it.


And the amount of sass is proportional to the weight of the woman.


You will never make it in this world.


im writing this one down for my 'if i knock a bitch up' journal


gtfo with those bs stats


And here I thought he just liked period sex.


I like how you said its and not his or her... Very humane of you.....


Someone feel better when minion clearly deleted. So I make this :)


well, he's released 3 absolutely broken games so far, what else would you expect?


You didn't just dodge a bullet, you dodged a missile. That's a true friend man.


Sad, but that's how the system in America works.  If cops say you did something then you did.


Unless you're on your way to work, always shit at work. It's free there and you get paid for it.


Considering Madrid scored twice and the stadium celebrated each goal, I highly doubt that. Sure says a lot!


Length matters past a certain point. Ever gotten a nice thrust to the cervix? OWWWWW


I down voted just because that is evil lol


Wow. I never would have guess it would take so long to develop a trick. Mad props.


Upvoted for a fellow bird player!


I just stood up to that there teachin' lady and said "The only three letters I need to know are U, S, 'n' A".


My problem is I want to uninstall something that I installed before having many problems. Last thing installed, first thing uninstalled.


"i find you of very little value as a human being... bitch"


Oh, I absolutely know that.  That's why this needs to get shoved in their face.  When someone talks shit about women, they're talking shit about my mom, my grandmothers, my aunts, my boss, my niece, my wife, and about half of my friends.


*Especially* a Wal-mart parking lot

EDIT: I can't believe this is my most popular comment...


And you remain a man.


So basically lying naked on a table with a boner is the secret way to request a hand job, gotcha.


LmAo iiiiiiiiiii'lL FiiiiiiiiRe YoUr AsS uP YoU UnFuNnY-PriiiiiiCk !!!

**l)l00loooOol0l0loloLoO** tAkE ThAt AsSHoOooLe !


He is not your friend.


Tranny either refers to a transvestite/drag queen or the transmission of a car.

Drag queens are mostly gay so we have every right to reclaim the word.


DUDE!!  Bro-code!!

Don't listen to him!You are really amazing. Every girl in here is amazing and we say this only to you!


>I'm just pointing out how the practice of bachelor parties work from a sociological standpoint.

No you're not, you're giving your own fucked up view of things.  There are lots of comments from other guys that express totally different opinions.  You clearly have an incredibly screwed up views of women, marriage, and male friendship.


He's a scumbag women beater, just like Chris Brown


Iraqis " deal with it" by voting along sectarian lines. Sunnis felt ostracized by a Shi'a dominated gov't in Baghdad that had Shi'a death squads. Iranian sponsorship of the gov't in Baghdad as well aliented many Iraqi Sunnis. It's a clusterfuck.


I went to culinary school, and I make over double (around 120ish% more, before taxes) what i made prior to obtaining a degree for essentially the same work.

So, pretty poor joke, since one degree actually has applications in the real world, and the other is, well, an art degree.


> To think, he almost had the ~~girl~~ **skin suit** of his dreams.


rIttEE noWW I Amm WaTcHinGG PlAnEtT EaRrtHH WHiLee dOinGG soMe StuDyInGGGG. I goTT a maJorr tEsTT OnN wEdNeSSDaYYY. ONn tOpp oF aLL ThaTT DiSS OnEE HoEE goTt A cRUshHH Onn mEE i ThinKK. ShE ALwAyss tExTinGG mE anD LiKinGG mAhh fAcEBOOk sTaTusess. lOLL sHE kIndAA CutEE THouGh foR a MExIcAnn girLL... #HighSchoolProblems


By his mid-20s, your average internaut has guts of steel, a titanium-lined stomach, and a heart of made of cast iron.

We are the next generation.

Good luck.


We're very quickly reaching the point where morons like you won't have kids who get to grow up.


They should release them in a bundle called: "We can count to 3".


hurrr hurr hurr, I'm not from digg douchehole


The curve allows you to hold it closer to your body without hitting your leg.  It's a lot easier on your arm/shoulder I would think.


Yup. 12 hour work days minimum. I've traveled the world too. What else are you jealous of? My income?


So he'd listen to porn, then.


people assume i didn't get the joke, then again sarcasm works fantastically through the internet

^edit: *^DOUBLE ^DOWNVOTE ^EFFICIENCY*


To quote him "I didn't make Gordon cry, he chose to cry" 0 fucks given


I'm not sure if you have been to therapy but there are plenty of people who go to therapy to "talk stuff off their souls" and they still experience the same old same old. I'm not saying that therapy doesn't work, but there are people who have been to years of therapy and don't get the results that they do get from a single session of EFT.


At least you got your hair did.


Translation: Le scrub


Agreed. No one ever tells you how hard it is to make friends when you are done with school!


Karma whore. This is bad and you should feel bad. No green tea for you.


She's randomly happens to be sitting next to me on this plane. For real! We haven't spoken a word.


These jokes are still funny and original guys! North Korea isn't even a real country!


This guy has understood the actual meaning of life.


Downvote train! Choo Choo!


Thank god we learned from that mistake and never invaded a sovereign nation based on false pretenses ever again...


It's a Northerlion reference.


gotta keep the niggers out


feel free to downvote all my old posts if you want buddy.  i'll let you in on a little secret, pretend internet points don't matter.  try to keep that under your hat, just shush shush between me and you.  but please, keep on making all the atheists in the world proud with your adorable little witch hunt and your attempt to attack me by taking away my pretend internet points.


I never liked any politician, because they are all mother fuckers who would sell their souls and their own mothers for their own gain.


You *just* bought Half Life 2??

Fuck you. Go back to playing batman or some shit.


*And so it begins...*


"I was F2P back then"

your account may go premium, but YOU will always be F2P.


That's a pretty hurtful senior prank...


i am still here why did you leave i am so lonely please can you hear me can you


"My honor student ended up vaccinating your child.  Bitch."


girl my roommates been seeing lately, has a slightly "uncontrollable" problem after shes been drinking as you can see


What do you do when your dick has turned orange?


It's funny that I get down-voted for critiquing "Dude it's a joke. Chill the fuck out."


I can control poop when it comes but my body is not some sort of shit generator


See you later, breadstick.


Taking one for the team reached a new level.


All that explains is how XKCD is consistently terrible.


My favorite homeless entrepreneur asked people for their tickets when they left a nearby paid parking lot early and sold them for $0.50 each.


I see juat you did there.


Kitten Mittens just got darker.


Or just press the backspace key on that line of code


Well if you won't let me see you shit, I just don't see how we can be friends.


5'7 and 142 pounds? That may be your problem. Pics?


Dude I agree, his hat makes me want to throw babies out a plane.


I actually hear if you do that his head will float around the room while spinning and shooting lasers.


I'm not 'shocked', I'm pissed. They should know by now their browser is inferior.


I was on the edge of my seat in anticipation for "As I get up to leave she looks at me with tears in her eyes and with the tiniest of voices whispers "Please don't go". So I got up, walked through the door, got on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur."


As an Athiest, I'm okay with this. MY view point is that religion is good for the morally corrupt. So yeah, while I don't need to fear an eternity in Hell to keep myself on a morally straight path, a criminal in the backseat of a cop car is more likely to be morally corrupt.


I am ridiculously lucky to be included in Breaking Bad, a truly amazing show.  I'm just glad I'm not fucking it up for everyone.  When people think my presence actually helps the show, well, that's just "honey on a walnut" to me...is that the phrase?...no, wait, now I got it, that's just "an altoid on a pretzel" to me.  It's a good thing.


Virgin lungs.

Edit: man I was jokin


Who was the man on the treadmill? Albert Einstein.


SPOILERS!!! GOD DAMN THAT SPOILER PISSED ME OFF!


>And, completely deadpan, I just reply, "that's because it's a Tuesday." And go back to work.

But I thought that's when everyone was at the club!


LmAo ThAt's a FuCkiiiiiiiiiNg **GaMe** NiiiiiiiiiGgA !!! iiiiiiiiiiiiiiT's NoT ReAliiiiiiiiiiTy !


Why is that 72 drifting towards me?


Or this is a room in the desert. or a 5 gum commercial


> I know because I counted.

lol'd


I wouldn't say she kicked cancers ass... kind of the opposite.


You mean [this](http://i.imgur.com/kMtfk.gif) hand gesture?


I'm licking sick off people


" I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."

Saw him 5 days before he died. Feels bad, man.


It doesn't make sense for Christians. Christians are explicitly instructed to:

* Train up their children the way they should go

* Discipline and reprimand them to discourage foolish behavior.

* Not provoke their children.

* Bring them up "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

Edit: Also, loving parents would want their children to go to heaven, not hell.


More like T-Rex rabbits, rats don't jump. Closest thing is bouncing, when you drop them.


women are craaazy aren't they? emotions! cheated on a bitch two weeks ago and she CRIED

TIL: the posters at /r/askmen take themselves incredibly seriously


or it will take you an extra 10 seconds to click it?

USE [Reddit Enhancement Suite](http://redditenhancementsuite.com) and you can see it from the main page.


Yes, it was! Give this man some upvotes, people. I didn't mean to steal your karma, just thought it'd be a good trick on my cousin after he put his number on FB. Thanks for the inspiration, imrobert (Funny how my cousin has the same name as you too!)


Probably someone who browses /r/itsaunixsystem. Like, you know, him. Guys seriously this guy is clearly joking. My friend and I used to pull this type of shit all the time in High School and got kicks out of it.

Edit: Jesus y'all are blind


Not going to cry, Not going to cry, Not going to cry


I see what you did there lol


I know what you mean: I developed a crippling heroin addiction trying to fully appreciate Charlie Parker. We all did some embarrassing things in middle school.


We don't allow crowd funding links on this subreddit.


one summer i lived on campus, i was in a dorm with motion lights. theyd turn on if i rolled over in my sleep, and theyd turn off while i was on the computer or playing video games. took off the cover and moved the jumpers around til i found the manual only arrangement. I was super proud until i saw that one of my suitemates put tape over the sensor and  it worked the same way.


How about you dont tell anyone youre a fucking girl when you game, like no one tells you theyre a guy.


My personal favorites are the bloopers that used to play during the credits in the old Pixar movies. Why did they stop?


Thank you kind sir, and yes.


and decreases sensitivity by 70%


I can live off less than 15 bucks a day. 2Lb chicken breast, avocado, kale, expense, but actually nutritious juice, apple, pear, protien shake, for around 2K Calories and around 10 bucks or the cost of about 1.5 meals at McDonald's.


By the way, Y-O-U-R is your, Y-O-U-'-R-E is you are!


Risky work click of the day or actually NSFW?


Its the sweet air of freedom.


LOL. Judging by your comments, you made the whole thing up, tough guy.


An overpriced product with a celebrities name attached to it? [Color me shocked](http://i.imgur.com/pPQTB.gif)


Because of their superior hardware and attention to user interface?


In case someone is tempted to try this, it hurts a good amount.


Nobody cares what OP said, Apostolate.


This is probably a high school student who hates his job at Target.


I'm surprised he didn't go with the tried and tested "suckerpunch from behind and break player's neck" approach.

Fucking pussy belongs in prison.


We don't fully blame the people of the usa, over the past few years it has become obviouse your government no longer answers to its peoples.


No, I think you're just shit at this whole "English" thing.


> i wasn't crying because i was sad, i was crying because i'm horny

You must have strong willpower to turn down such seductiveness.


Downvote because I am disappointed.


How it feels to chew Five Gum.


Congratulations! You have submitted the funniest comment!


wooo hoooo wooo hooo


I'm just curious, am I getting down-modded because people disagree, or because I disagree with St. Ron Paul?


It put an end to the armpit fuck as a third base staple.


So? It's a tackle from behind?

Learn the rules you mongs


I think she's getting weirder because she's showing more of her true personality. Honestly I used to really not like her but recently my opinion of her has completely changed.


It's the Internet. Re-Fucking-Lax.

Call in the downvotes!


I'm waiting for a [Penny arcade.](http://i.imgur.com/VuUgx.jpg) ....


The 'cello' is a fat slob as well. If you look like her what are you doing here? And how on earth did you get verified?


Live with me if you want to cum.


Maybe she dragged him over there to fuck, but was a pig and he regretted it.  Then he felt bad for sticking her with the bill, but wanted none of those beef-curtains.


Frank Reynolds really likes banging whores not super villains


You're a douche. </not sarcasm>


Goddammit Vargas... Oh wait


I used to ride the karma trains, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


*Sips tea while looking with distaste at OP"


The gap isn't as enormous as people like to think.

/r/soccer tends to equate anything below the Premier League to a bunch of 16 stone builders hoofing a pigskin around their local park on Sundays.


I live in Portland, OR which is home to the famous Powell's City of Books. Literally an entire city block, multiple floors of books. I don't know how they are doing financially but they don't seem to be hurting. It is amazing to just walk through it and smell that comfy cozy smell.


not only is it not halloween, you look like you are 9 years old, as a female you will never keep friends longer than a year anyway.
Also, I don't appreciate people not taking aliens seriously... That man has found the missing link, and you all mock him.


> women's shit EVERYWHERE

I read this as literally women's shit everyhwere and wondered how you knew it was from a woman.


>Shows the level of intelligence chronic texters have.

You're a fucking retard.


Yes but it won't matter because you will still have us.


you are the real looser here


I think this deserves more attention.


Because it's retarded to shoot from the hip in a "realism" game?

[wow, CS fanboys do sure like to downvote]


As a part of the CARD act: I believe this is the case in every state.


Not trolling. Extremely defensive, arguing with idiots.


I expected the same, was positively surprised


Economics is a disease, a bad idea we have allowed to fester for far too long.

No offense to you, but the *source* of most of the problems we face, especially when it comes to law, cannot also the solution.


That isn't useful? As a musician I'll gladly take that trait off your hands if you don't want it.


Is specific to reactions.


He was just building up momentum for that initial launch to minimize the paddling required.  *Genius* dog.


remember that time when that cunt locked himself in his mom's attic and spent every waking moment posting stupid bullshit to the internet so that strangers would be impressed with how much imaginary money he had?


That was only marginally funny.


It probably has to do with data mining.  Which i think it's safe to assume is their first priority.


In case anyone's interested the term he was going to say was Freudian penis.


That's 'cause when you see things like this your balls retract into your pussy so far that it frightens you.


I tested the temperature of some caramelizing sugar. With my finger.

Shit is like kitchen napalm.


And now we know you are left handed.


I think they're going for sending a message, not gaining hacker street cred.

DDOS is quick and dirty, but it does have a practical purpose if your advantages are numbers and your goals are getting a point across.


Just... just get the fuck out of wtf.

Always some fucking weakdicked motherfucker, I swear.


$500 flat screen becomes $2,000 when you pay by the week.


Recycled content. DOWNVOTED!

Come on you stupid people. If your too stupid to come up with real content then get off you're computer, leave the basement, set down the hotpocket and GET A LIFE.

This is be labeled NSFW. I have also reported to the mods as PORN. Wrong sub. Go be a pervert elsewhere.

Thank you.


That actually made me laugh, and it's hard to explain to everybody else why.


Keep the replies coming, it confirms that someone has read the meme, that its replication has been successful :)


no NFL players are allowed to snorkel or scuba while they are under contract, its a 'dangerous activity' and is outlawed in the new CBA

edit:  it was in the old CBA also - just enforced through the team discretion clause


>It's possible it wasn't but what human being has that much free time?

We've got a democrat in the White House.  Everything is "free" if you choose to not work.


It makes sense.  Also child actors are... well, child actors. They're not all as good as Freddie Highmore and Dakota Fanning.  More often, they're Dennis-the-Menace and Last-Airbender levels of bad.

Though I will say, this whole aging-down-actors thing has *completely* ruined my ability to guess peoples' ages in real life.


George Lucas is probably the greatest director in the history of cinema. He made American Graffiti, man......American Graffiti...


If you are in the same room as someone having sex how would you NOT look? Don't crank up the camcorder, but watching is to be expected. What the hell else are you going to do while they're at it? "Oh hi Mum, I couldn't sleep cos my roommate is humping his girlfriend so I thought I'd ring. How's things?"


had my suspicions from seeing that earlier post. didnt touch anything until i read it.

gg wp


And although its air conditioning is great, it has miles to drive before it can serve anyone.


My Parents African Grey is a dumb ass, and pulls all his feathers out.  he has done it for like 20 years, he is doing fine.


Wow, what a terrific audience.


That's fair, but a lot of normal body aromas just aren't very pleasing to other people. I've met a few girls who weren't aware that their vaginas were more aromatic than others.

I've also met guys who didn't realize they needed to wear deodorant and others who just refused to mask their normal smell with them.


WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?!


How else are you going to show a kitten giving a hug without someone in the picture being hugged? People have a problem when girls post some stupid fucking photo like "omG! Here is this new awesome unique thing that like I totally found on the street!" and then proceed to block the object with their stupid fucking face or are just unnecessarily in the photo for no reason.


hey man Tuesday can be scary. Especially when it lands on Friday the 13th


those terrorist arabfucks broke the law, and our troops are making them pay.

if you really supported our troops you'd know that