They could never tell if you tried to again.

edit:  I actually meant like if you tried to visit the park again.  Because now you're obviously more mature.


Meh. I drank a full bottle of vodka when I was 15, filled the toilet bowl with black sludge. Slept it off, felt like hell in the morning, but didn't die.. well, didn't die *yet*.

That was over a decade ago. I hear bleeding to death internally from your stomach is a very quiet way to go, so if there's a slow leak I don't mind :)


God damn it I'm not gay I'm just ugly and have an abrasive personality. How hard is that to understand?


Well of course, but that doesn't change the fact that you get cold, spend ludicrous amounts of money, and put your life in danger when doing it.


It's true. The find somewhere warm and tangle all their limbs together to make a giant homeless king rat thing.


you been smoking some peyote with david icke? hows that working out for ya?


I quote the always-relevant John Green: "The venn diagram of boys who don't like smart girls and boys you don't wanna date is a circle."


Do it. Now. *Do it*. **Seriously, do it**. ***WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? DO IT, MOTHERFUCKER***.


That's pretty accurate - ya. Got a problem with that?


I thought I toned it down.

If I'm honest, my potential customers already know what they want and they don't bring me a picture of a rifle and say "Can you get this for me?"


What is bread may never pie.


Insulting individuals regardless of their position gets people banned. I think you're misrepresenting what rules are being enforced. Talking shit *about* MRAs=/= directing insulting MRAs necessarily.


But people don't lie on the internet. That's just silly.


Typical faggENT response, stop bitchin and let the man smoke.


>What *important* thing/issue/person


Sounds like you're around the wrong bikers. I ride in an MC myself, and never had issues. Had a guy call one of our members a pussy once. We asked him to apologize and he did. Nothing broken, no harm done.


This is by far the most adorable mistake in this thread.


Wow, that's heavy, and noble of you to say that, too, Pretentious_Factoid.(EDIT: just got my RDA of DVs!)


My dog has learned to pick at seams.  He's fucking methodical.


lol are you fucking kidding me? don't be a pussy.


You're telling me honestly me that you *wouldn't* crap your parents with excitement if they found **SPACE BUTTERFLIES?**

Edit: My comment is now much funnier, as per ajiamawesome's suggestion.


Did you know Mitt Romney stuck his dog on the roof of his car when he went on a trip to Canada. If anyone needs a good role model it's Romney, but I doubt he will watch this episode...you know since he wants to kill Big Bird off, and cancel sesame street....so if you like the show then you should vote for Obama.


>"It is because you are a stranger"

No, it's because you're a shitty parent.


I do overestimate the reading capability of the people here.


I can't believe you would just replace Tiger with Stripey like that.

Your poor dog desperately running around, searching for *his friend*.


Then why did you insinuate that **you** took the picture?


Yes, I'm getting a refund. And the seller, did in fact, have a good feedback score. Guess you'll never know with the internet...


> It's not really fair to dictate what words offend people though

Breeder is not offensive.


Mr. President, would you mind pressing this red button over there? Yeah that one. What's it for? Oh, you don't wanna know...


That's not when he pulled the trigger though.


For those of you who don't know what this means, or how to do it:  http://tr.im/JDFW


race for the... executive paychecks!


xXx  i think you mean 10 WIN (!) IP boosts LOL XD! have you even played the game? :D:D  xXx


*Sigh*

I'm on it.

[And 15 minutes later, I'm goin' straight to hell.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JO66McTmRbM&feature=youtu.be)


Missing and/or ignored is not simplified.


In a dorm this is also what you do. At 2am. Multiple times a week. Bastards.


hey guys I made a joke that no one will ever see but me..since I can only glean so much self satisfaction, I'll post it on the internet!


But what if you went at night?


This has absolutely nothing to do with net neutrality and you're what's wrong with the debate.


Yes, please tell me this is your car.


I used to bring WTF back to its roots, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


That's not why you fucking idiot.


And they paid probably $70 for the privilege. A minimum wage worker cost $2 to clean up their mess.


It looks like an STD, it's just fordyce's spots. No, there is no treatment.


*It's his with do to as pleases he self.*
Fix'd.


you waited 9 months for this moment. enjoy.


Reddit's demographics are mostly teenagers that would mostly say tl;dr.

Rages are for venting, deal with it.


after you get hit there's always the one person that asks why you're crying


tampa is just one consonant away from being a fem product.


"I wish you were dead like all of my other grandparents."


sorry, it's a joke. would be pretty crazy if true.


Oh gods.  Why didn't someone tell us?  I'm shutting off adsense there right now.


No its just because you keep screaming vitrol at me and i figured you didnt have courage to say it to my face. I am giving you the chance, you dont have to hit me you can just scream if you like. Hell Ill pay for the trip im not far from you.


Also, depending on the event, a bronze medal is won by *winning* the bronze medal match. A silver medal is won by *losing* a gold medal match.


No, she has always looks like a caked up whore to me.


Even the desk lamp? Mother fucker is brave


I was just going to say, post this in /r/cringe

Edit: I wonder if I can get as many down votes as /u/etm124 has up votes for saying the same thing as me! Let's do this!


DM,HS

Doesn't Matter, Had Seahorses


LmAo sMh

NiiiiiiiiGgEr TrYiiiiiiiiNg tO bE HiiiiiiiiLaRiiiiiiiiOuS !


Maybe if Germany was not so fast to arm the Kurds, the scenario we are in now, would be different.


This is as it should be.


when did this place turn into a bunch of unfunny tryhards


It's the thing I download from torrents.


Marijuana severely distorts your perception of reality, and many users delude themselves into believing there is genuinely nothing wrong with them.


OH MY FUCKING GOD. I LOVE YOU. I've been trying to figure out what those were called for *four years.* Fucking hit clips.


bullshit, drama queen


Turns out he's actually done this, I found [one of the pictures](http://i.imgur.com/A5bpZ.jpg).


I live in downtown Toronto, I get these types of comments weekly in real life and on Facebook. I never found it weird, and nor do the people I know find it weird.


Sounds like he has the proper attitude of a USA Patriot, sheer determination!

I lucked into it, tell him I'm impressed, and if you ever come through Nashville, gimme a call, I owe him a beer or 1776.


not funny. then funny. back to not funny.


he was fattening his prey!


YEAAAA MAYN DAT CHIC BE IN HE SONG LIK HE SAY HE TREET HE GIRL LIK HE ROOF RAYSE IT U KNO IM SAYIN


Where do you rank in Gratata's?


I meant to say "around 36 drinks". Plus more the next day.


By then (in 5 billion years) it'd surely be easier to just move to another star system than to solve that problem.


Awesome! I graduated during the height of the recession and it can be fucking *brutal* to send out a ton of resumes and never hear back.


You mean something like [this?](http://i.imgur.com/cZGts.gif)  NSFW


I hope nobody buys your stuff because all you're doing is milking the crowd. You don't give a shit about anything here except getting people to buy your crappy comedy.

This isn't even an AMA. Your comments are ridiculously stupid and rude. I can't believe anybody is even here involving themselves with you when you're so blatantly trying to take advantage of them.


Oh god. I thought you said mother up there. When you said she'd taken her pants off I got that eerie "I'm in that weird incest part of reddit" feeling again. Then I re-read the whole thing and it obviously makes sense now.


thanks for being an unoriginal assnut


I don't think you could with that body.


Nope, listen to the report linked above. It was a last resort by the officers, the guy was not complying and wouldn't be restrained after attacking bystanders and officers with rocks. They even tried to use a taser to no effect.

edit: Oh wait, we don't tolerate reason here.


Living life on the edge.


It was on purpose and someone took the bait.


Well, english is not my native, but now i feel disappointed either.


I'm sorry for your loss.


Wow a cunt what a surprise.


Made it out fine, been sober ever since.  Spend most of my life living healthy, with the occasional pizza binge.


Wait here while i search bleacher report, espn, si, and every sports media site going through the archives and making a nice alphabetically organized list. Maybe by the time i am done the knicks will be good.


I like to imagine that in a 100 years or so, after mars is colonized, the rovers will be on display in a "early settler" museum on mars.  Teachers will take students, and they'll complain about how they don't care about some stupid old robots.


This will probably get downvoted but i agree


To those in Hollywood thinking they can use reddit simply to promote their newest movie/book/tv show, [this is what will generally happen to you.](http://i.imgur.com/6yd5h.gif) Seriously, did you expect nothing but questions about a movie no one has heard of?


Yes, it is.  But this is not a girl...


I'm still a little lost, can you draw me a picture?


People notice me!!

I'm famous!!

EDIT:
I was only really frustrated with no one having an actual discussion about it.  Everyone just downvoted the OP for trying to understand her SIL's reasoning.  Everyone just kept screaming "her house, her rules" and that didn't explain shit.  What about sex is so off putting??


When you're the biggest pharma company in Germany by a margin there isn't really any avoiding being part of Nazi shit, that's just a consequence of being German more than being evil. Every big German company that's old enough was involved with the Nazi's in some way or another.


a lot of people... myself included... unless you want to look like some damn crip with a shirt down to your knees...


I'll take 40 lbs extra if it means bigger tits. I hope McFadden has big tits.


Omg are you fuckers retarded asians? this should be downvoted to oblivion!!!


Have you seen [this one?](http://imgur.com/RH01T)  It's my personal favorite.


Yup. Though it's another nice demonstration of a link where tons of people in the comments section are attacking it but it nevertheless has hundreds of points because gamers are sexist children.


I was late to the "here, have a girlfriend" meeting


It seems as though if you mention that you're a warlock or have warlock flair you get automatically downvoted


But unfortunately for her, OP don't give a fuck.

Seriously, what the fuck am I doing? I need to get up for work in three hours... Well, see ya tomorrow for the new updates!

Edit: I just woke and I've made a huge mistake. Fuck it, I'm staying in. My boss can suck it.


It might want to be 2/5 all things considered


When i was homeless, I would hang my interview clothes in the steam room at the gym. They went from a month of wrinkles from being balled up in my car to one tug away from looking ironed in 30 minutes.


I hope you die a horribly painful death to prepare you for the eternity you'll spend in hell you baby killer.


I would take it as a compliment and walk away with a gangster lean.


Stop jerking  off to child porn you sick fuck.


Sounds like you mom needs a hobby: like paying attention to your dad.


Jesus, how insecure would she be? my boyfriend has received compliments like that from friends, and I see nothing wrong with it. it's nice, and I trust my boyfriend enough to not see any random girl as an "instant threat".


Napkins? Baby wipes is where it's at. Plus you get to freshen up a bit after dancing and getting all sweaty.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AT_form_factor Ignorant moron.


well that's because you like to boast about things that happen to your downstairs, VaginalHubris86


We all have this need for symmetry in things, most of us just say fuck it and get on with our lives.  Also, the cutting, Why not just stop?  (also, I like your penguin baloon, welll done.)


You were just so cool that nobody was worthy of being your friend. Most redditors must have the same thing going on.


Your hair wasn't the problem if she constantly complained ;) Gorilla fuck a girl properly and she won't complain about anything


>Nicholas Cage

>horrible movie

pick one


BEING A SLUT AND REGRETTING IT THE NEXT MORNING DOESN'T MAKE THE DUDE YOU SLEPT WITH A RAPIST.

STUPID BITCH


Your friend is quite *the joker*.


lol his team didn't even win worlds, how can he be the best? toyz ftw


Same I love having third person point of view


You must be le new xD! Don't worry - u will figure out how this place works soon ;p

[Here's a hint - trolls aren't scary monsters under bridges when ur on le reddit xoxo](/spoiler)


I dated a girl until she showed me her right foot. She lost 3 toes in an accident as a child, so i had to gtfo. What else could i do? I'm lack toes intolerant.


In the real world, legend has it that you're called a pedantic loser.

Edit: For the ignorant grammar nazi, please refer to this rant by Stephen Fry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7E-aoXLZGY


Also... dressing up as a cop and pulling people over.. isn't exactly typical drunken college behavior. Why anyone would try to compare that to say.. getting wasted and arrested for pissing in public is beyond me. You can't chalk that up to simple youthful acting out, it definitely is something that cuts to the heart of the man, and shines light on the sort of person that he is.


you almost had me going there.


I think everyone already understands that dogs are not actually racist.


Dude, I think you might be gay.


I would've settled for that


Throwing a ball around and sex are completely different. It's a ball and accidents happen. That's just common sense. I wouldn't do that in my own house.

But sex is part of a relationship and we're here for a week. I think that if you have a couple staying with you then that's just something that should be expected. I wouldn't mind them having sex at my house.

Maybe I'm wrong though.


I'm American and I cut with the knife in my dominant hand and pick up food with the fork upside down like a proper English gentleman.


You're under the impression that being stopped by the police is a violation of civil rights?  Where did you get such an idea?


Girlfriend is a 3rd grade teacher,  teacher voice is a scary thing..


I feel sorry anyone who let's a three year old dictate their actions.

Edit - it's a three year old, let them be offended! Calm the fuck down! A moment of explanation is far better than a three year old contracting herpies simplex or kissing a stranger on the mouth.


..never breaks character, even after band breaks up.  That's dedication!


Both of those phrases are grammatically correct.


>basically, she forced her mother to have an abortion whenever she became pregnant

How is that not the biggest indicator of psycho here? WTF!


Yes and bring the video cameras!

Edit: Apperantly reddit can't take jokes.


LOL. I'm fairly butch in terms of appearance (Guy hair, etc. Not to mention I wore my ACU pants that day), so it doesn't take a mystic to tell that I like cunt.

My parents, however, has possibly the worst gaydar ever.


Yes, I cringe any time Dave Chappelle appears on TV. His show was far from funny and is still a painful memory for me also.


I just said "RESTAURANT!!" in a crowded fuck, thanks


They did all they could. I viewed their efforts as childish and inconsequential at best. I've read up on what I have and it's no walk in the park to get treatment, even if you do have enough money to pay the exorbitant fees of the counselors and doctors and specialists...


"This doesn't look food..."


HAHAHAHA :D NICE ONE!!


You know how I know this is fake...

If a muslim ever committed a crime, FoxNews would damn sure remind you he was a muslim.


ekop has more tournament results than reynad, and higher ladder standing, so how is he right? If anything he's projecting, he is the one who continually gets into every tourney despite never winning.


And his oral presentation is sensational.


I used to be a dog, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


Oh god, that was painful just to read. I am so sorry for you.


Actually, behavioral science would disagree with you, but that's gonna be the only comment I make in this circus.

Here's a tip from a married dude: the reason women disrespect you and won't date/sleep with you is because of your mindset, not because they're horrible people.


I'm proud of him for paving his own way and letting his skating speak for itself. He is in an incredibly tricky situation, skating and having me as his dad. He handles it with grace and finesse.


Because independence and good relations with Russia are mutually exclusive?

But yes, that "warrior" would be right as Lithuania is not truly independent. Instead of Moscow, now they follow orders from Berlin and Washington. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. They're a small, irrelevant country and at least they're getting paid for being a good puppet.


this took me like 25 minutes and three tries.

http://i.imgur.com/LZJAQ.jpg


This is bullshit...you called them nazis in the title that you created.  If youre going to lie, be consistent.


Yep, people don't realize that a lot of the reason celebrities look good is because somebody spent 3 hours tweaking the lighting before they even stepped onto the stage. Photoshop merely takes care of what they couldn't eliminate with good lighting.

I'd say this is fairly brave by Cindy. Still not as bad as fluorescent light would look though.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersectionality

you're missing multiple classes in your concern troll, btw


That's nothing. Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White?

**Same fucking character**.


How? He could have just used a TV capture card and saved it to his computer, formatted it to a .mp4 or .3gp and watched it on his phone.


First Windows XP tablet

Dat bezel


This is one of the top comments but had no replies...I felt this needed to be remedied.


All of Europe hopes you didn't.


Holy shit. Minecraft, Cats and Pacman?

I'll allow it.


I think it's completely irrelevant what gender they are.


I feel like every game without Riv casting is a game worth watching. He constantly spouts out nonsense and tries to pass it off as commentary. I would rather hear dead silence.


It's like confirmation that your joke is funny.


Depending on what country this was in, that good dog might end up as a steak.


You are invited to /r/luigi


I wasn't aware of the rules.  And because of it I get ignored and made fun of in this subreddit.


Note to self: Do not eat ass worms


Wow, he's old, haha.

Yeah definitely, haha, upvote.

Heh. Like treebeard, and I wonder what this imgur link could be t-

Oh for fuck's sake.

sigh.

*closes lid*.


I just smoked some meth, farted into my cupped hands, then wafted the delicious scent up to my nose so I could savor the intricacies of a poor diet.


Yes, I consider myself a Renaissance Man in the truest sense. What's your point?


you fuck till you die


Good thing there are rocket scientists like you to declare what is right and wrong on places like Reddit.


Or just turn the corner and stand still there, and let them bump into you.


Cause he's a fucking terrorist.


Another compelling argument in favor of dog ownership...


Yeah, I know. I work legit tech support. Old people are completely helpless.


"Shit, he posted it one day ago.  Are you still answering questions?"


He was soliciting his story. Basically trying to make money off of it. That is 'self-promotion'

Make sense?


WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?


Nicole Aniston.  There are many more videos.


Damn.  There goes my astronaut pants line.


Til Santorayo didn't read headline.


**Someone somewhere couldn't get off because you popped into their mind**


Soon the US will not be a white majority country


*and see that? that's where I came on it in the winter of 2012.*


Who cares.  So Europe was better at wasting money than the U.S.  How does that reflect poorly on the U.S.?


Girl: Oh My God where'd you learn to get my clitoris so good

Boyfriend: Oh, I was reading a transexual Reddit AMA.


GET IT!? BECAUSE MARRIED PEOPLE DON'T HAVE THE SEX!


>zoidberg1339

...Wait, people born in 1339 are turning 673 now. Christ, I'm getting old.


Does not apply on the internet when the person you're criticizing is not in line with your liberal ideology.


Exactly. In *Friends*, Chandler has an awesome job and the girls are illegally continuing one of their grandmothers' leases.


I'm probably wrong. I'm not the best when it comes to identifying them.


"How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?"

Charles Bukowski


Grrr ... you beat me to it.


HULK NOT WANT CLEAN FLOORS!  HULK WANT PRETTY DRESS!  HULK GO TO BALL!


I was about to downvote you into oblivion.

Then I saw your name. I lol'd.

*Edit*: Ironically, when I first posted this, he was at -4. Go figure.


Sadly, this is one of my only "interesting" party facts....


It doesn't sound like they broke into the house.  The party was entirely outside.


The name is Fuck.  John Fuck.

_Sips martini_.


Down vote this if and only if you hate black people, gay rights,women and lulz


hot tubs are so shallow


dont flatter yourself


10 reasons how reddit is stealing from buzzfeed. You wont believe number 420


It's sure a hell of a lot better community then fucking reddit

I embrace the downvotes ye neckbeards!


You have the internet, and 23 years to find a replacement. Put together a bang-ass collection of rare bourbon and an eloquent apology speech.


They have socialized medical care in the UK. So the taxes of hardworking people would be spent repairing the faces of dumbasses (which is exactly why I'm against Obamacare and associated healthcares).


Imagine...they probably don't even yell at each other when they play Monopoly..


this is photoshopped... fuck you cunt

**EDIT : DOWNVOTE; YOU DON'T HAVE MY EYES TO NOTICE THE DETAILS WHEN IT COME TO PHOTOSHOP**


I'd be gay for 75 cent beer.


I found the 10 year old Cena fan everyone!


A friend of mine once said, "If nuclear power is a disaster waiting to happen, coal power is an ongoing disaster."


I am a SEAL and can confirm he is a pussy.


Yeah but it grazed my heart and still hurts.


100% I was pumped when I read the title (bc fuck whiteside's bitch ass) then I saw him run over to help him out and was like fuck that, then he didn't help him up at all and I was like Kyle Lowry is a awesome!!!!


*turns on shitty-watercolours signal light and points it to the clouds*


Lit? I hope you don't mean she was a "recovering addict" of weed. Weed isn't addictive and it sure as hell doesn't cause behaviour like that. Not to be an argumentative douche...just that (to me at least) the term LIT means you're stoned...Then again I'm on the west coast so terminology varies...


As a lesbian, I would be thrilled if 80% of all women everywhere were bisexual.


Easily offended 15 year old girl, yup sounds like a SRD user to me.


Good Burger 2. Judgement Day.


this made me laugh IRL


YEAH HE GAVE YOU A LETTER YOU HAVE TO FUCK HIM NOW!


Man, /r/soccer can be inspiring at moments like these.


"You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it AND it feels awesome. I almost blew a load into my bellybutton."


My dad, who works for Tell us Once a new project look at the .gov website for it even has the same opinion on the government as every o else does is rubbish.


"After counting all of the shingles, there are 4,367 of them..."


Biden was an obnoxious child and interrupted Ryan whenever he tried to explain his positions. The liberal moderator didn't help things either. The polls I saw after the debate had Ryan as the clear victor.


Why? Did somebody find oil?!


I'm considering this is fan fiction of the original.


In the Finnish army, when an officer walks into the room, you shout "attention!" and salute him. [It becomes second nature.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oaGMxAFdLU)

On a slightly different note, [here's another Finnish guy being woken up.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hib9GUwGKEE)


"Thusly" is not a word.


ah, damn phone autocorrect....punish work is when your teacher wants you to stay after class because you've been a naughty student who needs to be instructed


* Don't know what's behind the object
* A "safe direction" isn't pointing it out a window
* All guns are loaded

Quit acting like a child with a fucking firearm, please.


That's no jewfro, it's a space station.


I hope a bear murders you and your family tonight.


I took an ancient history course in college where I learned that the Greeks (or was it the Romans? sorry...) would have political debates in which one politician could **actually convince the opposing politician to change his position** by presenting factual evidence and logic.


I'm a cop and I can tell you first hand from the OWS stuff, women can and usually are the ones who are the most violent in these situations. It's almost like a switch goes off in their heads, and all the sudden us cops got a target on us. Do you know how many insults we have to endure? I'm sure this cop had his reasons for what he did.


Where do you get pancakes with a diameter of 14 inches?


Does death count as a weird side effect?


bikini pics? 140 photos?

*unzips pants*


Wonder if he cried while killing his family.


They filmed it on a sound stage on Mars.


This was a titillating comment.  I began to applaud and rapidly tip my fedora in rejoice! Sadly in my euphoric state I spilled my mountain dew all over my white and gold dress.

Edit: Holy cow it just turned blue and black

Edit2: Obligatory thanks for the black!


You are an awesome mom!


Electronic Engineering? That's a new one. Any sensible electrician has a supplier who gives them materials prepared in advance, if you're going to be working on a large electrical system while stripping wires by hand one after another, you're going to have a bad time.


Jew me once, shame on you.  Jew me twice, shame on *me.*


lol. And the scores for your floor performance in Mental Gymnastics:

USA: 10, China: 10, Russia: 10.

You win the Gold!

Just because you're a piece of shit transphobe who genders body parts does not suddenly make me homophobic. Sorry.


Depends. What's your favorite band?


Oh, yeah. Orthodox Jews are total dickbags.


Aggressive Passion.

Between brothers


Loyal to their owners, potentially deadly to anyone else.


"That tiger has night vision goggles"


You don't sound smart


If it wasn't for John Ritter, he'd be unconsensualbeastiality.


He promised to pay for their meals. Then he didn't. Seems pretty open-and-closed to me.


Not if you are in the water


I am honestly so sick of seeing these requests. Stephen Fry is a drug-addled, sick, perverted old man who is adored by Reddit because he thinks the same crazy things they do. Keep the atheist shit in [/r/atheism](/r/atheism) and off this subreddit. Or even better, pick up a fucking Bible once in a while.


I can't see how living like that would be fun.  Sounds like all work and no play


Um yeah you said you would delete personal attacks, except of course for the transphobic ones i see.


Actually, the NSA *currently* does. The Snowden documents already state that they are able to spy on VPN and encrypted connections. There's already been a ton of stories about the FBI using the NSA's metadata from phone records, so what's stopping them from using the VPN and other stuff, illegally?


You ruined such a good contribution with a shitty meme.


Yeah... especially when you're into some weird shit.

Fapping, fapping, fapping, oh God this is so awesome... finish.

Oh shit did I actually just got off to that...? So... ashamed... &#3232;\_&#3232;


Wow, 10/10 comment, bravo!! All of my upvotes to you for your brilliance!!!


This is one of the major ways criminals, especially drug traffickers are busted. Routine traffic stops, drunk driving, and the like.


You racist Asian black vagina!


I should point out, India is technically in Asia XD And depending on the day/person, I've gotten everything from Puerto Rican to Indian, but I'm just 'merican!

Edit: I think the hairstyle changes my face structure? Might come in handy if I'm on the run :P


Actually if you are going to bring race into it white men are more likely to be killed by black men than the other way around..


am i the only one that saw that OP said self driving cats


you'll continue to donate to planned parenthood? an organization that does not care about women, and makes the majority of there profit off the murder of unborn babies? oh yeah, susan g. komen is so much worse.


I can't even comprehend this.


I am. Just sick of ignorance and the herd mentality.


AIDS = Gods mysterious plan

Gay = GOD DOES NOT WANT FABULOUSNESS


It's a lot less sexist sounding coming from someone who doesn't exploit women's bodies for his own profit.


This has got to be my favorite comment of all time. I'm going to be saying those three sentences over and over again in my head for the next month


I love how everyone here is abandoning their PC'ness and calling me names.

It shows that I'm right. That people would stoop to a lower level to win an argument.


That's what she said.


I don't swing that way personally but good for you


Well, at least it's shitty.


Correct data can still be decontextualize to suggest falsities.
A lie of omission is still a lie.

[See here](http://elderofziyon.blogspot.co.il/2011/03/map-that-lies-and-one-that-doesnt.html) for some more context on these maps, and some other maps, and then decide by yourselves.


Seeing them jump to their feet and scream when landing was confirmed was amazing.


So what you're saying is that you had sex with a male cat and gave birth to some fucked up human-cat mutants? That's disgusting.


Ouch. Was he at least cool?


upvote my comment plz


I'm going back in time guys. If dinosaurs are extinct by the time you read this comment, you know my plan worked.


It's kind of creepy the way a bunch of 20-somethings with mommy issues who mostly can't get girlfriends their own age keep drooling over 40-50 year old women just to prove how progressive they are.


I hope you realize fuck you.


Yes, including the original 11982


Holy shit, I've never seen someone else say this before, but I've always thought about this myself, too - like a "Game Over" screen.  Specifically, I'd like to know the number of times I wrote my name.  Stupid stuff like that.


Then you lost the game


I'm 6'5 and I still love boob pillows. Falling asleep holding a woman like that under the covers on a very cold night is like trying to convert caprisun into wool socks.

I love it.


look hes already been caught cheating TWICE before...his legacy was doomed by spygate...hes a shiftless cheat. He will do or say anything for his own benefit. If he hadnt gotten lucky in getting brady in the 6th round his career would have gone nowhere...


Get some therapy. Seriously.

You deserve the chance to live a normal and happy life.


Gee, thanks. You guys are really swell. Totally don't understand why people hate you guys......nope, cannot understand it at all. Pats fans have been so pleasant these past few days......yup, just a ray of sunshine and pixie dust.


Obama: "If I ever get elected President, I'm going to change this country."


Before I even clicked on the site I already knew that it was going to be pictures of white people.

SMH. Racism. etc...

edit: Downvotes, really?


... and has perfectly reasonable parents, that think a C- is acceptable.


hahahahaha [](/lol) have you any life at all?


I bet that girl is a freak in the sheets, OP.


Learn to write in proper English. Your heading is gramatically incorrect. You may be a nerdy gaymer, but without proper english you're an illiterate in my dictionary.


http://m.imgur.com/a/ghyLa

Took these in my car while on my break. These are the only angles where you can really see it.

Edit: Thanks /u/Obscure_renegade for the gold! It's much appreciated!


Expected rednecks, was not disappointed. And fuck your husband for participating in the invasion and occupation of Afghanistan, what you call "Taliban" is just people trying to defend their country. If Chinese were invading America you would do the same, by all means necessary.


There were chairs and tables... At the bottom of a pool?


That never happened, faggot


You have the funniest way of saying vagina.


Do you really not get the difference between making fun of an adult who's made a conscious decision to eat like crap, and making fun of a child who is told what to eat by their parents? It's a pretty solid and obvious distinction, imo.


My stepdad brings it up whenever possible in front of boyfriends.


lol this is probably moonflower's throwaway, and moonflower is in fact a concern troll.

Edit: Oh look who showed up.


Would you like to buy 100 rekt for $69.99? (BEST VALUE)


EZ.notiNcontroLofhisweight LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL RIP DAY9


The code green sounds like the ultimate education tag team troll


Women are weird. You know, the best method to control men is by the penis. And you tie a leash by the penis using your boobs. This way, you can lord over the entire gender with little effort. I mean, put a pair of boobs on a pedestal and make it holy. Even r/atheism would disband if we all declare the boob to be the original shape of all God.


I just looked it up and wow. Just wow. She got upset that they gave her macadamia nuts in a bag instead of a plate and she apparently got the attendant fired but she was afterwards rehired.

Edit: changed he to she.


Let me get you some Midol. Clearly, you are bleeding out that vagina of yours.


Lying would be pointless because it takes two people to have sex. If person A says that they had sex with 5 people but not one of those 5 said they also had sex with person A then you can assume that person A was lying.


That's irrelevant. Do you know who won Ligue 1 eight years ago? Almost certainly not, so your age is irrelevant to the point in hand.


Ugly people are the worst.


Heroes do not kill people when they aren't in immediate danger.  She didn't know if he had a weapon and he could very well have thought she was bluffing.  It was stupid for him not to leave, but being stupid does not necessitate death.

She is not a hero.

Edit: Wow, you guys are dumb.


Bible has been published, too. Only silly people cannot recognize truth from lies and require a formal evidence for it.


If you don't have anything nice to say, say something vague on facebook.


Don't forget the lack of social life or any other commitments such as work.


THE HEAD. IS ON. BACKWARDS

edit: wow. my most upvoted comment ever. ( 1182 points at the time of this edit)
Fun fact, the moment i saw this AMA  this phrase came into my head. It's actually from this video ( WARNING: ponies, yes that kind) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7HrijDkfHc&t=21m26s


here have a down vote


I would love to do an EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS Christmas special. Bring everybody back and we see the beginning of Chris's stand up career and how the family dealt with it. That would be awesome...


If poop is coming from your genitals, you are doing it wrong...


Reading this as an American, I was so confused. I've always eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and never even thought that the combo sounded gross.


I think OP is a female. I wish everyone would stop assuming everyone on Reddit is a dude. There are lots of women on Reddit.


Live free or die Hard.


But in no way the diversity of governmental politics, race nor language.


That must've been some porn.


he played one or more games after ,one game he was banned.

E: can u please write his name right? Its ocelote not ocelotte or ocelott.


You exist because your dad had an orgasm. Just think about that one for a second.


lol i get it "zing" meaning he's stupid to buy an iphone +1 funny


Because dogs love everything! They are just awesome


Nope i honestly dont care because at the end of the day you all will be assholes to someone so since i wont lose sleep over it bring it on.

Like i said for you to care this much in the comments to must have a said life.


Next week -

"Hey Reddit! Can anyone please help me translate these cryptic symbols I found on a cardboard box?"


Cripes you people are gullible.


Maybe he just didn't want to catch your cancer.


This is a great example of Poe's law.


'Nobel Penis prize'

Dw i'm embarrassed for myself right about now.


YOU DEFINITELY GOT AWAY WITH IT BRO.

EDIT:  If this damn "penis" comment overtakes me I'm going to set the internet on fire.

EDIT: GOD DAMNIT YOU GUYS.  YOU HAD ONE JOB.


Why are you proud? Because lots of people in your city celebrated sexual perversion?

Ok, we get it, this lady's son likes to suck cocks and she support him in sucking as many cocks as he can fit into his mouth and he is very "proud" of sucking cocks. Now please pipe down and stop with the ridiculous parades.


That's not awful at all.


This account isn't a secret. It's also not hard to find gainful employment if your personality isn't complete shit. You probably wouldn't be familiar with this scenario.

Also isn't the concept of finding the person giving me money for writing a thinly veiled dox threat? This seems reportable.

That said, I'm damn proud of this comment thread. I hope everyone sees it.


Restricted to religion? Duder, someone can use science or any other number of types of logic to promote whatever bullshit they want.


Oh good.  You still found a way to shame the larger woman.  I was worried for a second we might have to treat people decently.


As long as it doesn't sound like a rape threat, it can be quite flattering :)


i wonder when the first comment will appear saying that there's something wrong with your picture... :D


Fuck Gabriel and his religious bullshit too. He'd be dead without them, and he put his life before his fellow church members by locking himself in.


Eller så diskuterar man ordentligt. Fast att faktiskt veta vad man pratar om har ju sällan varit viktigt. Det påminner mig om när finnarna kom hit och slapp skatt dom första 6 åren i arbete. Fortfarande finns det 3e generationen finnar som inte pratar svenska. Japp, vet två stycken. Prasitsvin som resten av de som kommer hit. Eller blev dom bara särbehandlade...vad ska jag tycka nu...hjälp!!!


          .-'
     '--./ /     _.---.
     '-,  (__..-`       \
        \          ಠ     |
         `,.__.   ,__.--/
           '._/_.'___.-`


Funny, I saw a huge 5" bloody gash on the back of his head (as if someone had bashed his head into a concrete sidewalk) and his nose was clearly broken in the video as evidenced by the swelling.

Do you think there won't be hospital reports on his injuries? But of course, I'm sure when they're released you'll just claim they're fake too.


What. The. Fuck. This is literally THE MOST fucked up thing in this thread... I hope he gets life. Also, because that woman was pregnant, they'll charge him with 3 murders.


wouldn't be the first time tottenscum have fucked with us...


How can you even have a modicum of shame & yet listen to music on the bus from your phone speakers. Baffling.


If you haven't already you're a stupid cunt.


ಠ_ಠ this is why we can't have nice things.


Penis... That is all.


"Just smile and wave boys"


Meh then don't play.


"IF YA DON'T DRINK BUDWEISER YOU'RE A GOD DAMN QUEER" --Budweiser


And which memes are heavenly gifts.
Pepe.


Sounds like the Greendale human being to me


lol...

How's your imaginary friends?


and he's southern? *swoon*


> separate, individual psychotherapy.

Just because what he finds attractive and what you find attractive are not compatible does not make him crazy or in need of therapy. He is well within his rights to not be attracted to his wife, though he is an ass for voicing it the way he did.


***~~~ if u can't handul me at my wurst u dont deserf me at my best ~~~***


I don't understand the whole emma watson thing, she's not even hawt.


At least not until later that night...


> and then go on to tell stories

The irony is palpable.


A friend stole a floor mat from a bank's ATM vestibule after hours one night. He would always brag about robbing a bank.


Why would you post pictures of yourself like this on the internet? Were you molested as a child?


Seriously - in 2009 they got me a cake with a candle on it


I just didn't feel like doing the math  :/ thank thanks haha


Is Sun your mothers nickname? *I'm sorry, it was too easy.*


what the fuck for? you have horrible taste


I think they aged more in those 5 years than the previous 25 combined.


Closer to 3 times

Edit: I said this because I felt it was disgusting, not to be a jerk? holy downvotes


He let her off with a warning because he realized he was wrong but didn't want to admit it.


That doesn't mean I don't have a life.


He's Christian AND likes country music. GET HIM GUYS


Just google 'ugly cunt porn,' you should find a shit-ton of Jennifer Lawrence dopplebanghers.


Does he realize the fact that he is one paying the 'asshole tax'?


Came here to say this. Good on you, sir. Have an upvote.


This is the winner. When they break in scream SURPRISE! Hand them a beer, asked them how they liked their surprise, then inform them it was a setup and get their assess arrested


y

edit: downvoted for opinion


Or rather, people who think they have already gained interpersonal social skills from reddit/imgur/4chan.


I'm sorry we were so mean to your heros in Al Qaeda.


How else is he supposed to show us how cool and edgy he is?


she had it down in about 5 seconds...don't hate.  She pounded that MF!


Boom! - http://imgur.com/i1xGS.jpg


Mmm.  A pic would be **NICE**.  I'll add it to my collection of milk carton pics on the wall.

Any secret stash pics?


You consenting adults better not be doing any *hanky panky* outside of the permitted months!


The circlejerk is strong with this one.


Except that he's not actually a preacher. OP just assumed he is because of that bible he pulls out.

It's [documentary filmmaker Bart Sibrel](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bart_Sibrel).


Who the fuck are you to "forgive" anyone?


***I SECOND THIS RANDOM PERSON'S STATEMENT, IN SIMILAR TEXT FORMATTING!***


honestly, though, since when did grandma panties get people laid?!?!?!


$360,000 for the lazy.


Seriously? There's a 300 pound ugly woman on this site that got 16 fucking upvotes for her picture...

literally every single woman gets a fuck ton of upvotes


Thank you for saying this! I thought I was just being a judgemental bastard. I saw the other day where a girl was confused by her gender because one day she wanted to wear a dress and the next she wanted to wear a hoodie and comfortable jeans. She had a term for it, I can't even remember what she called it, and I was just like, no... that's just wearing what you  want to wear.


Happy birthday!

Edit: I see now it's a reddit b-day not a real one. I thought cake ment it was his real b-day today. Hence my comment. Fine downvote me all you want. Just tried to be kind.


New York City Police Department had a height requirement of 5'8" for males (172.72 cm) until 1972 when our Congress effectively ruled that practice discriminatory as it ruled out many minorities from being eligible as police officers. So we used to have them but just got rid of them.  (Source: [NYPD Hispanic Society](http://www.nypdhs.com/history.html) )


>it happens far more in favour of the woman.

Let's see some dads fighting for full custody that are not being spiteful.

That'll be the day.


Brings a whole new meaning to 'Tip your waitress'


Yeah, I'd fucking leave him.


I'm just going to pretend that the movie was about someone else.


Trash talking? Hardly, I've been making legitimate arguments.

I made an account specifically to make a thread in this board, and then stuck around to post. I can assure you that I'm perfectly sincere in everything that I've said so far.

Of course other points of view are 'trolling'. I understand your mentality perfect, you share it with nearly everyone on the planet.


Hmph. Well this seems to be a bit awkward, as I am Mr Edsels' great great grandnephew, and I will not have you besmirching my family's name on this site.

I challenge you to a duel. Arthur was entitled to his drink, as there was no such thing as DUI in 1896.


>this picture just appears to be incorrect for those not familiar with firearms.

Except that rule #1 of gun safety, which is posted pretty much everywhere on the internet, is 'always assume a gun is loaded'.

This is clearly a theatrical inspection, since he doesn't have any kind of light source, but even so it's fucking dumb to point a gun at your face.


My friends and I got 3 pizzas from them a few years ago. We devoured the first 2 with ease. As we broke into box #3, we found a gigantic dead beetle right in the middle.

We got seriously ripped off. Why did my other 2 pizzas not come with bugs, dammit!?

*edit: I accidentally a word :p*


Given those three choices, I think you just outed yourself as a chubby chaser.  O.o


What the fuck is this shit?  Somebody tell this guy something retarded like no because his calorie's interest is compounded monthly or something!  That's not even a very good one, but come on!

BANNED.  YOU'RE ALL BANNED FOR LIFE.  I'M BACKTRACING YOU.  CONSEQUENCES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.


A thousand internets for you, good sir.


you might regret it, I'm a better artist than I am a baker


HEY IT'S THIS GUY AND THE INEVITABLE KARMA TRAIN THAT WILL FOLLOW


Don't listen to this guy! He's lying! STOMP IT OR BEAT IT WITH HAMMERS!


I can't believe the GOP is so reckless as to talk about how treaties are ratified.

Next thing you'll know is they'll write a letter on how bills becomes law!

*shudders*


THIS.
Here in Europe you'd get a fine for wasting the court's time.


Yeah.  Lets fuck over a guy for killing a dog.  Why don't yall start bombing vet offices for your "right to life" movement for dogs, cause vets put dogs to sleep and all.  Shit, you guys really take things farther than the liberal retards that live in trees to keep them from being cut down.


Jesus Christ and that pick up of the PI flag


I don't know, the lighting making her look like she's got eyeliner on only one eye actually ruined my internet erection for a sec.


the soundproof "laundry room"


*"I don't like 4chan because of repetition of memes."*

    - Reddit.


Ahh, that was satisfying


Yes but this post is not for this...


I wouldn't have a problem because I speak Spanish.


You should totally write a Fantasy series where an upstanding alchemist of the realm turns to producing drugs when he finds out a wizard cast a spell on him and he doesn't have long to live. Also, there should be zombies.

I'd buy it.


So you see it, look at the parent link for an answer to your question :)


and my axe

...damnit wrong thread


makes you wonder if you needed Notch in the first place...


Hey, work on that shit. It's super annoying.


By "he's obama,"do you mean he's a corrupt war-mongering elitist authoritarian scumbag? Because I would be inclined to agree if that's the case.


In fact the lion room would probably kill you very quickly - if the gasses from decomposition were sealed up in the room, they would be extremely toxic.


It is. Nobody remembers second places. It was his only chance to walk the royal road at OSL and with that leaving the biggest trace this far, joining players like July, sAviOr and Jaedong. Every Zerg player knows these names, regardless of if he followed BroodWar.


"Oh, and make sure you bring your baby blue members only jacket."


When you guys say attractive or you want have sex with a cartoon/ video game character are you being serious? It completely baffles me, I have no idea why this fetish is so popular. She does not even look human, same with all the anime things.

Do you get turned on whilst playing certain LoL champs? I am being serious... Maybe I am the weird one.


Oh my fucking god... I just now realized that Elrond is Agent Smith. Fuck I'm dumb...


Just because you don't see the relevance doesn't mean it isn't there.


Nope, they're all tits.

Also, I just got fired.


Bah doesn't matter joff dies in the third book.  I liked him better when i thought he was going to be robin


༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIVE DR PEPPERS ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ


Why did I read this in Louis C.K's voice?


As much as the police bitch and whine about how America hates them, and doesn't appreciate their hard work, and there are only a few bad cops making the rest of them look bad you would think they'd do their best to identify and boot "those officers".


Oh no! I’ll be able to take one fewer panoramic photos!


And there's nothing wrong with that really. If however you got on a soapbox and tried to get liposexuality banned because it makes Jesus cry, that would be crossing a line.


This isn't the first time the best player in the league has played for us in recent times.


"..Says here you talk like a fag, and uh, your shit's all retarded."


No way. Doesn't even crack top 10.


Same thing for me with Anchorman. It was a shock when I saw the uncensored version.


who the fuck tokd you reddit is a site for children?


All hail the Holy Shit!


Took a quick look.

Just sounds like a lot of people that don't know how to control themselves, can't figure out simple problems, and can't learn how to be alone.

Depression is a paper cut in my mind. You won't change that.


She told you not to kiss your own daughter on the cheek?

I hope she walked home, and it started storming.

EDIT: Yes, yes, I'm adorable aren't I? C:


"my Alliance"

"my"

so  you're one of THOSE guys huh???  "we" "my team"  LMAO


This turned out much less gay and illegal than I expected.


In that case, you sound a bit pathetic.


Maybe he needed business.


Need an explanation? Why not ZoidbergMD?


That is some straight-up romantic film shit.


Thanks for the expert advice Enleat. I'll stop reading "biased right wing articles by morons" and start reading articles filled with sugar spice everything nice written by people who are either too lazy or stupid to capitalise their I's.


That $200 was probably going towards his ps4 or something :/


Skrillex doesn't belong on this chart.


The queen is actually Tupac.


And I bet you and most people who agree with this comment are going to go out and eat meat after this. Some animals are more equal than others, I guess.


I'm too embarrassed! I'm seriously scary looking.


Not many.

I sent him a merry christmas email and he didn't respond... granted, 99% of it was just me making clever ways to ask for HL3, but still, it was kinda rude not to respond.


I remember the first car that my parents bought me had stealth mode.

Meaning it was completely invisible.


Even though I think he's a douche, I don't see anything "racist" about his posts.

I mean, he's fucked up in the head, but he doesn't explicitly consider them "inferior races".


I cannot get over how Apple won that dispute, when it was clearly proven in court that the concept had existed LONG before Apple ever thought of stealing it and putting it in their phones.


Yes, but slabs make it bumpy, and... OCD triggering.


Of course...

I was trying to do some character work on Lisa. I asked Tommy why Lisa would be so concerned that Denny is on drugs. "Why would she even care about something like that, I asked?" He replied "that is the twist."


How easy it is to forgive when you lose power over those discrimated against. Yea, the truth hurts.


I can't believe my highest rated comment ever is "WOW!"


ahahahahah you dumb ass


World War Z and Game of Thrones.


     _   _                 _          _
    | |_| |__   __ _ _ __ | | _____  | |__  _ __ ___
    | __| '_ \ / _` | '_ \| |/ / __| | '_ \| '__/ _ \
    | |_| | | | (_| | | | |   <\__ \ | |_) | | | (_) |
     \__|_| |_|\__,_|_| |_|_|\_\___/ |_.__/|_|  \___/


You finished serving your country, now it's time to serve your wife. **SALUTE** Thank you.


Oh my, another smug pc gamer here to tell us how we are peasants if we don't spend thousands on a gaming machine and still have to spend a good portion of our time dealing with stuff like compatibility and performance issues instead of actually gaming, which is what you would be doing if you had a console because every game is custom designed with that unit in mind.


This is my boyfriend Astronaut Mike Dexter


So, one just needs to pay attention and check work instead of firing commands blindly. DBA requires attention to detail .


Steady diet of beer, cigarettes, and hard manual labor will do that


yeah, the horrrific murder of millions of people is negligible.  God obviously didn't like those assholes.  that makes me an asshole for not negating them.


I actually registered to reddit so I could get /r/atheism and all that off my front page. I mean... not to bash /r/atheism or anything, but the giant circlejerk in there can be really annoying.


SAP: Socially Awkward Police


That's a brilliant way to say "It wasn't the Germans who did that!"


Or... Maybe one can be both smart *AND* Christian.

Shocking, I know.


So, is your pookiebutt... sewn shut?


The difference betwen 9gag, 4chan and [This lil guy](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/t3omb/lol_this_is_what_happens_when_you_feed_him_and/) is that he can hold his own :D


White gun owners are all talk.


This is dark, but I love it


lol the whole point is to use it when you DONT HAVE AN ACCOUNT.  You guys are being pretty dense about it for already downloading everything illegally to begin with.


Oh hell yes you would get to be majorly passive aggressive.


Did it hurt your feelings?


I have a sneaking suspicion that the OP is full of bullshit, considering that he hasn't posted any comments in his own thread.


Her night is gonna be out of this world.

I fucking hate myself for typing that.

Someone please down-vote me.


You should post that video
You know, for science


I'm a man who enjoys himself some high quality irony, especially when nature herself delivers it.


Hi, my son Espen was killed by 'pumpehuset', big sturdy guy(190cm)  did you meet him? (Espen from Bodø)


My woman does CrossFit, has a body similar to her, it's great. Love the bodies CrossFit makes.

Edit- seems a lot of people here hate exercise, whatever. Lots of skinnyfats abound.


Somebody call an ambulance. We got a major burn victim here.


They call me Socratestes


sorta wish colbert could take robin williams place. hes not nearly as funny and as a conservative he really grinds my gears trying to make it seem hes conservative as well.


"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." - Oscar Wilde


I don't give a shit, it's a soccer ball


The last Airbender relies too hard on the source material while simultaneously shitting all over it. What a godawful piece of shit that was.


That's hilarious. You complaining about laws that aren't "fair" when you're basically stealing shit.

Yeah I know, *"we aren't stealing ... we're sharing maaaaaaan"* *takes a long hit off bong*


seriously though, why does anyone who defends SRS get downvoted so heavily here? legit honest question.


its those 5-10 min snoozes that brings out the most vivid of dreams and or ideas.
I however often end up confusing reality with my dreams. Correcting myself as i rush out the door.


i agree. what a fucking retard. this girl looks like a whore and a slut like sandra fluke


First person to figure it out!


Plausible_denier said no pressure, don't be telling people what to do.


Smart attractive people tend to breed with smart attractive people.


The biggest pc shooter out there doesn't have an fov slider. Just because total biscuit went mad on the issue doesn't mean it is always needed.


Not just with that gay dude, but another gay dude as well.


haha came to post this exact thing :)


A fat fat fat apple. The biggest thing on earth.


Nah, they're here. They're just the quiet ones.


"What do you mean you have THREE holes down there?"


Which would imply that God couldn't tell a verb from an adjective, and he was crying because God was stupid.


>Yes, we shouldn't judge a **berk** by it's cover

FTFY


But the rules say not to hotlink! Why are we not blindly following our rules like we do the law, our highest for of integrity check?


"WELL I WASN'T A PATRIOT UNTIL THE NEXT DAY"


Lighten up, it was a simple joke.

If anything the OP owes his pal an apology for over reacting. The prank was over the top a little but no need to flip out over the matter.


No matter how beefy you are you always drink the fuck out of that tea when a four year old gives you a cup.


The FAQ may say one thing, but the About section says another: http://www.all-clad.com/Pages/About/Craftsmanship.aspx


Dude. The fucking worst. Like, do these students really give a fuck what my major is? Or what color my socks are?


That's ~~how~~ *what* I imagine John Wayne Gacy looked like.

Or.

That's how I imagine John Wayne Gacy looked ~~like~~.

I swear I see this more often than the your/you're mixup.

EDIT: fixed autocorrect error that left my correction worse than the original.


You'll die from trying to pet the belly, big cat or domesticated.


Laughed before downvoting.


Well I can tell you I climaxed to ants.


Bitter, salty, and saying something completely irrational... Did I find the woman?


this. Its depressing man


I like how the head doesn't change position


If he is not, we should find him and *adjust his claim*


Yeah, fuck those guys who

A) we are told are pieces of shit by an anonymous person on the internet

B) Aren't here to defend themselves

Grab your pitchforks, Reddit! It's time to do what you do best... a good ol' fashioned witch hunt.

OP I don't hold anything against you, your post itself wasn't out of line in the slightest.


I, uh, have you tagged as male stripper?
You work in mental health, though?


So if you house is now safe, why not take your proof from inside?


Seriously, I don't even give a shit about the downvotes people get for saying this, but *this times a fucking thousand*.

I loved the A:TLA series *so much*, so when I watched The Last Airbender, I died a little inside because it was so awful.

Fuck you, M. Night Shyamalan. Fuck you.


This was something that I did in EVE many years ago, it was flagged as hilarious and carebears were BTFO WITH CHOCOLATE TEARS RAINING FROM THEIR FACE.


My cousin was venting about his depression to him, and with his step father being the "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" type, he told him to suck it up and that he was being a pussy. It escalated from there.


Having been to Paris, there are parts of the city that are a shithole. Having people change their destinations isn't that big of a deal.


This is definitely a distinction that needs to be made.

A train can't swerve to avoid something, and everybody of driving age should know that.


go fuck yourself you stoner scumbag, i hope you die of lung cancer


That's what everyone says the first time they get reichrolled.


Nope. I'm 21, 0 children, and I'm probably never going to have children. I just understand I was once an annoying little kid and people put up with me, now it's my turn to return the favor.


Does it echo from up on that high horse?


Thank you for creating the greatest Lawyer character ever.


dont worry y'all would have done it anyway because you're assholes


Wow! Curious as to why people think I made this up?


My biological parents are siblings


Geez, no wonder you'd so intimately understand judgementality.


**WHY ARE WE YELLING**


I used to think this was humiliating and uncomfortable, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


This is **the** case for entrapment. To explain the term, think like this. Would you have committed a crime without the cops influence? If yes then you go to jail. If no then you claim entrapment and it can either mitigate the sentencing or throw it out entirely.


Then why did I lol? :D


Let's not sell Buzz Aldrin short here...


People like the vertical ships? They're some of the worst in the game imo.

edit: Why the downvotes? Can't handle my opinion?


Thanks - she was an awesome lady :)


This is why the "other discussions" tab exists.


Especially since they are literally in your charge. Adults have the right to smoke, they don't have the right to force their kids to endure their poor decisions.


I wish gyms would manage their membership they way ISPs manage bandwidth:

Identify the 5% of people who are using the service all the time and tell those people they have to pay four times as much as everyone else or GTFO. I am sick of subsidising these vain, annoying motherfuckers.


I fucking love the sound of them tapping against certain surfaces. Very ASMR for me.

Unless you mean those monster 6 inch long decorated claws... then I don't know.


Oh.  In that case: go fuck yourself.  No offense.


Really hard for me to feel bad for a millionaire who gets to bang Emma Stone.


Oh yeah? Then how come we haven't eradicated the flu yet??


Why don't black people go on cruises?
They ain't falling for that shit again.


Shitty joke, shitty song.


Now *that* is a great example of handling yourself like a BOSS.


Seriously don't posts like this just get under your skin...


That was never proven.


If you we're passive gay, that'd be tragic for you sexual life, to be scared of someone behind :)


Yes. Um. To save the day you have to beat all the bad guys like the lizard.


Life is fart.

edit: art*

edit2: my girlfriend thought that was funny


Every time we break the sound barrier Skrilllex has a new single.


Fair enough, I suppose. Would your mother have stayed with him if he was a nice guy, or did she marry him simply to improve her circumstances?


Looks like natural selection chose to ignore you.


> Imagine if MS did a commercial highlighting the shortcomings of OSX.

There are virtually no shortcomings of OSX or any other OS compared to Windows. The _only_ argument Windows has going for it is exclusives.


He may have some leftovers from when he was dicking around.


You dont know the real me


"His mom is friends with my mom and we have to hang out."


What do we gain from sending people to mars. I mean we have several rovers on the planet.


I get the feeling you wouldn't be fun in a social setting.


i bet your video game avatar just high fived your friend's video game avatar for putting me in my place. your whore mom must be proud.


I think he posted that for the upvotes..


contractions are informal and are considered poor taste. much like my conscious choice to not use capitals and/or proper grammar.


Follow this guy's advice but then on the actual show be unbelievably nice in every way. Do all the dishes and agree with everyone. Apologize constantly.


Then, shut up, and go away.


Someone who has a very backwards set of priorities


I've heard niggers call each other nigger more than anyone else. They don't own that word at the exclusion of everyone else. They need to learn that.


So I found out today that this is a thing


Oh how well you know me! Letting other designers advance, I have no problem with. Having idiots pose as designers makes us all look bad. Grow up, fucktard. This is the real world, not high school.


Yes, however if you remember elizabeths boyfriends father got shot to the bottom of the ocean and was stuck there indefinitely because the weight of the water was such that he could not move -> they would never be able to move around on the bottom of the ocean i.e never retrieve the gold.


It was hard not to. (see what I did there?)


Prisoner #1: what are you in for?
Prisoner #2: dined in on my take out muthafucka!


Still a better monologue than Twilight.


OK, I see what you're doing there, but I don't get the part about the iced tea.


Um. Yeah. Because that makes sense..... Eep!


I'm picturing the mother's cheerful response:

*Hush little panda, don't you cry*

*Just accept that we'll starve and die*


>And none of that is anyone's damned business.

It's other people's business when they are forced to pay for it.


(When plans are canceled on me) “Aw, it’s okay, we’ll get together next time.”...meanwhile in my mind:

YES! YES! YES! THANK YOU GOD FOR SAVING ME, I’LL NEVER WILLINGLY AGREE TO PLANS AGAIN.


Pro-Vaxxers are Pro-Austism

edit- hot damn 2 minutes in and already getting downvoted.. lol


Makes you one fortieth Lex Luther.


Funny.  "Ill" and "Dark" Mamba.  Funny.


That's been pointed out already. At least the majority of the people here got a good laugh. Now get back in your hole and go play video games.


Reddit, meet Sunshine...


You mean sucking ass and not even being good enough to be trusted to score in the redzone to win the game? Yeah. I bet that's rough.


Holy. Fucking. Shit.


Pepe.

EDIT: come on, are you seriously suggesting [this guy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWV1YBxQo44) doesn't deserve something bad to happen to him?


Tell me about it. If that happened today you'd probably have about half a dozen cunty soccer moms up your ass threatening to sue for emotional damage to their child.


That's some pretty soft skin you have there for someone that used to be homeless.


As a Texan, I support Florida's support.


So? He didn't hurt anyone, nor was there any danger of doing so. It was the equivalent of nudging him over. At least he was honest about it.

edit: I'm not saying it wasn't a foul, or even not a yellow. But the phrase "he didn't even get booked!" is generally used in situations where something was a clear red card.


Oh, she loved it. Who wouldn't let Bill Murray get handsy? I mean come on...


nearly every single post you have posted here has been about maximusfaggot.

pls go.

edit: deleted slur cause I dont want to be banned so i can argue with this fuckwit for longer.


This image will be on the front page longer than Obama's AMA.


hold...hold....hoooold...need...karma.  dahsodhaksdjhkasj /rage

FTFY


Philosaraptor: If Wall-Poop art makes you hold breath. Is it breathtaking?


i heard he died from aids a few years back


I did not hit her, this is bullshit

I did naaaat


TED shouldn't exist. It's evil cuz money or something.

We should Mic Check a discussion and demonstrate that we want more money from their corporate funds. That's our right as citizens and distribution will fit what we think is fair.


The skid marks are easily cleaned but they will return, and in greater numbers.


Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Zach Braff!


This is why people assume I'm mentally retarded when I tell them I'm a Christian...


I agree with everything he says. 1) Natural is better. 2) meat on the bones is good (love me some Sixties style girls). 3) no makeup in the morning or some shit is hot.

But he's a fucking cunt about it. He did the number one "I'm a snooty cunt" thing too and compared it to a "fine food".

What an asshole.


Maybe he was using the word "fired" literally...


somebody wants to flex their smart muscles, O NOOOOOOO! Let me cower in fear from your amazing grammer knowledge! aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!


Fuck that's a good way to be haunted


LoL is a game just like sc2. if you want to say LoL requires less skill then u might as well hate on real sports as well ie: football, racing, etc. BTW the skills requierd in LoL are not the same in SC2.

its not like huk is irresponsible and didn't prepare at all for his GSL games, his opponent just played better then him, it happens.


Hey Obama, want some of that purple drank?


how.....is....this.....CRINGE?


Alright who let the ahri buff through?


Rocks are not exactly harmless.


My dad used to always tell me this when I was growing up: "You wouldn't care so much about what people think of you if you knew how little they did."


Also you shouldn't play a Zelda game before posting in r/gaming?


I'm just imagining a colony of wasps bringing that back to their hive and worshiping it like the alpha wasp.

"Fuck the queen, we've got WASP LORD!"


Responding to the others post, as if we needed more proof you're the same person.


Fuck you and fuck that


Fuck your condoning of child abandonment. If you raise a kid for ten or eleven years, that's your kid.


This is why I don't really do much on my birthday. I'm always terrified that no one will show up. So, if I stay home, no one will know I don't have friends. Except me.


Build a better one then.


Or Michael Collins. Poor guy had to round the moon by himself. At one point he was farther from other humans than anyone else.


lol you're forcing yourself to do things you don't believe in for some pussy? you're beta as fuck holy shiiieeeet


Guys, being physically attractive doesn't mean you can be a douche either.


i suppose to the most fitting way to listen to a bland, overhyped dance artist with a massive fanbase of internet manchildren is through a cheap, shitty online game


That's impossible because I'm Spartacus.

Thanks /u/Huntlocker for the gold!


I didn't say that put that't what you all assumed. Good job ass!


Work an IT help desk for a day...

Most people just want their shit to work but the number of people proud of not knowing jack shit about the tool they use several hours a day is astounding.


We do? Where? It's been stated numerous times that yelling at and mocking the poop is cool.


DAMMIT SKYLER, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!


I am genuinely curious to know what points you find inappropriate. Please a little more?


"OP Love"?

But OP is a faggo... oh...


Well, it is based on a fucking game engine....so yeah it sort of is a fucking game.


Uh, I have some bad news about your room mate.

Actually I have some *fabulous* news!


>his sister came

**came** LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOl


You had sex for Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

edit: Wrong cereal.


You think your so damn clever, your not kid gtfo.


"Elsa, why did you leave your last job?"
"I was Let Go."


I don't disagree with you, but I must downvote for your lack effort with your grammar.

>you cand ownvote me now


As a type 1, amen brother.

Got criticized seven ways to Sunday because I dared buy a giant Toblerone for myself on Valentine's Day. Fuck you, I got this. I can do the medication to counteract the sugary awesome I'm about to eat.

I've had diabetes for 22 years as well. I *know* how to handle it, damn it.


Oh goodness. Too many big words for you, pickle?? I refuse to apologize for being more intelligent than you...I'm sure that happens a lot, huh??

It's odd...every time I read your response to me, I end up sounding *FABULOUS!* in **my** head!


And this is a functional marriage? I'm impressed


I would have done the same thing, quit being such a faggot.


Even rapey people need help moving stuff in their rape vans or doing yard work around their rape shacks.


I didn't know you were the ambassador of black people everywhere...


"Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do! And so do I."


Too be fair a safe gun is a useless gun.


happy you made it, faggot


some areas are actually walkable but Camden i don't care who you are you still have a risk of something http://moviereleased.com


I started to but an elderly woman let her have it on my behalf, I was in a hurry to catch my train but I think the old gal yelled for a while.


You're literally a karma whore.


I would like to shake your hand, sir.


Says the guy with SoloMid logo. Learn to support correct team. :P


Get your friends.

Go to their house. Ask for a list of their belongings that were stolen and some descriptions of personal items.

Do what the police will not do: Contact every fucking pawn shop within 50 miles. Find their shit. Get it back. Get descriptions and possibly video footage of the people who sold those items. When you get that, ruin their fucking lives.


Um, no. I grew up next door to some identical twins, and I could never tell the difference between them. If I can't then you obviously can't. DOWNVOTED for lying to Reddit for karma. :)


It's a fucking tortoise. It's even in the title.


Whenever I feel sad about something that happened to a guy, and I feel sympathetic, I just imagine he's a pedophile, makes it a lot easier to hate him.

edit: til reddit cant take a fucking joke


and then the boat would land in the water and he would pull out a fishing rod and a beer.


I didn't say it was factually incorrect. I said it wasn't "about others." Just as it isn't "about asians" or "about blacks," it's not specifically "about others."

New to English?


My girlfriend is a recreational care-taker for elders with dementia.

Basically, she does activities with them, such as play bingo, read books, etc.

This one old lady always loses it when she leaves because the lady thinks my girlfriend will never come back, and she always wants a pepsi.

She will also stop my girlfriend mid-story, start bawling and say that she loves horses.


That mid table club being more successful than your club.


Dude, seriously, LEAVE HER.


i don't feel bad for anybody making a ton of money to play a sport


write good songs. or fuck a celebrity.


I did read the fucking article, and your an ass back.


Or OP just made up that they were dating for karma, cuz, ya know, lesbians


Whaa?  It's only like $700.


This is the first job I've seen where "no experience" was absolutely required.


My point is that the NFL is the most successful sport in the world, you should recognize that as an Aussie, you guys have Rugby which is quite similar.


LOOK AT HOW THEY ABUSE THEIR POWER!1!


Well I wouldn't expect a mindless, soulless, waste of oxygen, like you to have any other opinion formulated than that which is spoon fed to you by the hive mind.


They didn't give him a deadline.


How is that actually stupid ? If the results tend to be 50/50, then the fact that Heads came up 3 times in a row reduce the odds of Heads coming up next time.


Because he's the younger brother.


Yeah you are member there I bet


terry (the captain) jumped over oscar to go protest


Cool I'll run it by my buddy. I take it you would just like them to cover taxes on it? Whatever they may be? That way the whole situation breaks even. Or maybe even just a portion of taxes? Or maybe just to even take it? What are you thinking?

*edit: haha!


I'm in a coffee shop right now. He's not here. The tea is all right: a little sweet for my taste.


So I assume you are an advocate of peoples right to incest?

Every argument for gay rights can be applied for incest, and most can go for beastiality as well. Agreeing with one and disagreeing with another is hypocritical


That's what I assumed too.

It's not true. :(


>It's honestly stuff like this that makes me think unapologetic bigots aren't welcome here


*Wrong website???* There you have it, folks. If you dare say something *intelligent* and *different* than the /r/trees hivemind, you are **WRONG**. So much for good debate and conversation. *sigh*

EDIT: **HAHAHAHAHAHAHA** oh I am toooooooooooooootttttaaaaaallllllllllllllyyyyy gonna smoke some weed now. Conversion! You did it, /r/trees! **NOT**. So much for honest conversation on reddit.


We played that game like it was an art form... so yeah, it was like Mike Tyson getting punched in the face and KO'd because he sneezed.


Probably best to learn English, fucktard.


They don't like the military just dropping in.


iPhone users are so stupid that they probably won't even realise they are in the pool and drown, am I right guys!


Reddit: we'll get to it in spurts


don't worry little buddy, [there is a place for you](http://www.reddit.com/r/fitnesscirclejerk/)


You like that you fucking retard?


Don't be such a prude.


That I get why he did it, but I that I think that going after children, I consider my self still a child, is way beyond every other choice he could have chosen to prove his point.


Define "cocks". How is r/atheism full of cocks?

How does one stop being fucking cocks?

Do you have anything to cite that explains your "critique"?

Do you really believe you made a point and what you just did is comparable to what you try to criticize?


ONE goat...sheesh, reputations are made so quickly these days...


Gimme ten beers and ill hit that!


COOL STORY about your BRO


Easy there. This guy is a fatfuck no good loser neckbeard.


But, grilled veggies are some of the best things I've ever put in my mouth.


"getting to me"?

When I see your stupid copy/paste job that's what comes to mind, don't flatter yourself there kbilly.


I am pretty sure I was purchasing enough oatmeal cookie chunk to keep it in production, what gives?


Tell her to trim that shit, you don't want to be choking on pubes. Plus, hair traps the piss smell, so when she weedwacks her cooter, it won't smell as bad.

http://ride-the-tempest.blogspot.com/


Can't really believe I'm saying this, but I kind of want to watch you take a poo.


Comments like this make me realize why you didn't attend a four year.


I think it's a requirement for jump planes to be held together with duct tape and on the verge of falling apart mid-air.


I heard they made a second generation of pokemon, your trying to tell me they made a 4th generation. damn. that game must suck, instead of trying to catch 151 of those little fuckers what is it like 300 now.


No, that title belongs to 9gag.


do you have any pics/home movies of him naked in the tub?


I think it's this one:
http://mtv.mtvnimages.com/uri/mgid:uma:image:mtv.com:9969053?quality=0.8&height=495&width=660


If you're going to make an oppressive joke, it better be fucking funny.  Downvoted.


Please tell me you live in Atlanta, because my fat ass is coming to walk with you.  In fucking spandex.


CR7 as a winger has more goals in matches than the old Ronaldo who was a striker.


Whenever I try that, the guy tries to follow me into the bathroom


The vote system makes it a democratic decision imho, what pisses me off it's that they try to hide the fact that this isn't a liberal helpfull community that encorages positive feedback.


That must've been rough for the guy. Good on you for helping him out in a time of need.


There aren't accounts on 4chan you cunttard.


YOU NEED TO DO AN AMA RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

Please.


Lol. I like how you make it out like Blake isn't the player in the NBA who consistently receives the most hard fouls in the air for both of the past two years.


Thanks - My hope is that we develop a transportation system between the Earth and the Moon, establish a permanent human presence on the Moon (for the betterment of all of humanity) and turn operations in low Earth orbit over to commercial entities. I also hope that someday soon flying in space is as common place as flying on an airline and many more people can experience the "Orbital Perspective"


Get a load of this goyim.

Cut people have a perfectly normal life and sexual life. Can you say cutting off your nails is mutilating?

This is just thiny veiled antisemitims.


A Comcast salesman came by a few weeks ago asking if we'd like to upgrade to Xfinity from our old Verizon FiOS. My dad went on a 20 second rant talking about how Comcast was the devil before we had FiOS and slammed the door.


Evidence: hands on experience. I have me exactly ***zero*** religious individuals that I would say deserve to breathe the same air as me.


Compared to chickens, fish are practically brain sturgeons...

...I'll sea myself out


You restrain them. Like every police officer is fucking trained to do.


As a guy, it's very awkward not knowing what you want us to do. Simply saying "be rougher" isn't good enough. We're not about to punch you in the throat, so tell him what you want.


I think I would like sprinting to the ocean and doing an epic jump and dive into the water while screaming "BRRROOOOOTHHHHEERR!"


Or a really cool padded room from an insane asylum. Nothing more fun the gettin' out the old straitjacket and havin' some crazy fun :D


Does anyone else just not understand giving THIS MUCH MONEY to kids who are likely going to die within a month anyways? Not to mention, they don't need goddamn xboxs, that's for sure.


As a black person, I always try to avoid ever blaming *anything* on race. Better mentally to assume someone is generally a prick or I'm just generally not good enough than to assume I have an uncontrollable birth defect.

If I did race blame, I'd never wanna do anything to improve myself and just figure I can't amount to anything. Nope, that type of thinking isn't for me


Maybe this wouldn't happen to you if you stopped having awful misogynist opinions, hmmmmm?


Spoiler: Bruce Wayne is Batman.


This is like reddit fight club.


Upvoting you because if I had to read that, everyone else does too. ಠ_ಠ


Oh, a Liverpool fan talking about how historic their team is... What a surprise.


Cancer, guys. It's cancer.


Yeah thanks for being a handout taking leech


"Your name is Muthafucka Jones!?"


I hate to break it to you...but most of the ones I've met *are* dumb, aggressive assholes. I'm talking about 95% here, easy.

I totally get the touching thing though. That would drive me insane, even if by an attractive woman.


You know for a guy with a juventus flair you seem to be in most epl threads


As long as I am tied off, I would do that in a heart beat.  Noting can happen if you are tied to something.


More like Terrorist Outfitters! LOL!


When I was a kid, *all* schools refused to let unvaccinated kids attend.

Coincidentally, no measles outbreaks.


Then you are a murderer, plain and simple, and everyone who up voted your post supports murder.


>I see what **I** did there.

FTFM


Sweet jebus that looked cool. I got bored after the first mission and quit the game :/


It's cool, he didn't actually make it.


Yeah, that doesn't really sound like the Conservatives at all, wonder what's in it for business?


Damn, that thing is fast.


HAHAHAHAHAH

I dunno if enough reddit readers have seen the movie to get it, but you sir, are brilliant!


Holy shit, I did this with my daughter last night.

IMO, if you're not willing to put on jewelry/get your nails painted for your kid daughter, you're doing it wrong.


yet nobody is watching...


Of course I am.

My money is on that she won't check on him AT ALL while he is in Vegas. Not once. Unless it is out of habit.

Get someone to drive past your house at night. Or nannycam that bitch up.


Almost as pathetic as the guy complaining about it right?


I can, It goes like this.


Maybe someone isn't too interested in dealing with stalkers?


And if he gets any ideas about coming over and confronting you just pretend you're having a party like in Home Alone.


Just wait for source 2 amirite


If my last name were Withakay, I would name my children Marc and Cathy.


Nah, only did one Joey run, but got several shiny starters. :)


Well, normally I think these threads are annoying because it seems like the person is asking everyone but the one person they should be, but in this case he's asking reddit in general if we post and why would we. I think it's valid!


Congrats, you can't spell and you are a horrible person.


Always the hot ones doing this

Edit: Also, how the fuck do you remember your username?


The point is not in being witty and original, but in offending a feminist cumdumpster


I'm Jewish so I guess it's more of "I made a "is it cold in here or is it just me?" mistake"


☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) annnddd iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii wwiillll allways love youuuuuuuu


Fill it with checks in my name for $1,000,000 each, signed by Bill Gates.


Someone less last post this to /r/retiredgif


I'm the llama, his story checks out. He also doubted my fabulousness.


Omg I can't believe u noticed that haha I soo agree


I have never once made fun of a girl for sucking my dick, only girls who suck other guys dicks.

Dude logic straight from the heart.


Oh, okay; I'll pass on your "I Am Silly" comic.


I'm sure if that other car hadn't pulled up she'd still be going.


Then you must be very very short or have an incredibly slow metabolism.


The prison actually had a set cost. I believe it was $60. Speaking to veteran guards there the request was usually fast food followed by ice cream. They say you don't realize how much you miss ice cream until you absolutely can't get it anymore.


This post gave me a boner...


This better be a Pixar movie by next year.
EDIT: Apparently it's already the plot of "Holes". Thanks for the ridiculous amount of comments informing me of this. Doesn't matter, still not Pixar magic! EDIT EDIT: Stop PMing me about your holes!


you do realize that they make reddit downvote bots right? you don't think that not ONE person is using it against the most hated group in america?


I have I similar pond near my work. I swear if it wasn't so public I'd murder one of them in front of the rest of them just so they remember their place on the food chain.


Your username isn't too clever either, is it?


I have not purchased a Bayer product in years. Bayer is the Jenny of pharmaceuticals.

[Bayer products for your review](http://www.bayer.com/en/products-from-a-to-z.aspx)


id hit it...

With my car!


Ahh, haha that would make sense, umm just might go back now and check it out...to be safe


you forgot virgins, hivemind and basement dwellers. BRING IT ON LE BITCHES!!!


Name is im2fat2move. Is yoga instructor.


what the fuck is a 'neighor'


"The day this shit got started"

Edit: I always suspected my first gold would be from something shitty... Thank you!


Man, all this discussion of games press ethics is making me exhausted. Because there's so much of it, you understand. So very, very much.


"Award winning homebrewer!"

4th place in a small regional fair.


Oooohh ptsd sooo edgy


I don't think his parents allowed him and his siblings to drink soda, but yeah basically. I never saw them drinking anything unless they were eating.


I disagree, fucke me right?


Why the fuck would he openly admit that.


And the attitude of a loser.

If you are happy with 2nd place, it just means that you aren't competitive.


Ergh, I hate those people. They're so much dumber than me.


You think someone would actually do that?

Write in the Bible and lie?


Go easy on him. He's just a kid!


@Morally Wel..are you looking for a job??
@Peq17, if Morally wants more then 20$, you're in buddy!

@caddy tis true, however these people are 100% Canadian ;)

Vote it up and i'll unlock some other games you may like


Unfortunately you went to law school at a time when the job market for your prospective field was wildly oversaturated. I don't really feel like you can blame any politicians for that one.

Best of luck finding a job, though.


Oh god...Maybe if I hide way down here...


I want to understand this so bad.


Congrats on being that guy.


For what it's worth, I don't like that pop-up either.


Valid points; I don't have a lot of room to talk, because I don't actually fit into the category of the subject of this cartoon.

I don't just want someone to "love me for me" - I want something so much more fundamental and important.  I won't bore anyone with the details.


Death was my favourite character in the disc world, Its not hard to imagine him and Sir Pratchett sitting in his cottage discussing "life."


Yup....I down voted him for the high part

I know tons of people who have got in a drunk related accident or crash yet not one who has done it high


As a /r/showerthoughts post once said, if you don't know what it actually ~~was~~ *is*, "water boarding at Guantanomo Bay" actually sounds like a great holiday.

**edit: fixed the tense of my sentence**


Oh look here comes a defener now. The internet is not some isolated thing that has no bearing on your real life. How you behave on the internet is a direct reflection of who you are as a person. /u/Glurky_Spurk isn't CPS, they don't need to build a whole case file against TB to think his low maturity probably has some impact on his parenting abilities.


>He never said he could do better.

True statement.


Are you....straight? I'll love you just the same if you're straight, you know.


/r/gifshopbattles actually.


I think it's important to remember here that government regulations are a huge driving force in how cars are allowed to look. Smaller windows, thicker crumple zones, airbag compartments, fatter trim lines, all in the name of safety, have little to do with what the manufacturer knows people would rather buy into.


If you make a comic THAT long, you automatically lose most of the viewers here.  If you have to add an explanation on top of the comic in order to really get it, then you're really doing it wrong. F712U comics are generally 4 panels, btw... and they're not meant to be used as a medium for telling reddit about your life/day (I thought that had been listed under the rules in the past).


But if that better story is how you wound up serving 5 years in prison for abuse of a corpse, it's probably not worth it.


Evolution, right. I'm surprised they didn't "evolve" into humans. Please stop using that term.


Ok... Someone is gonna do it. Might as well be me.


Wow, that escalated quickly.


How many moon landings have been engineered using the metric system?


Upvote for shit mustache.


Family of 4 = 1 Guy. There will probably be leftovers, but they'll be gone before the days done.


Your mother sounds like a lazy nurse. Just saying.


More like *safest* option, amirite?

...I'll see my way out now.


Oh you are soooooo jelly.


>Yeah, but he meant well.

He was just a good old boy who didn't mean no harm!


there is not enough beard on that neck


Bitter? This man is a 98% cocoa dark chocolate bar he's so bitter. And yet... I could relate to over half that experience.


Not sure why you're getting downvoted, i agree with you.


In a cherry forest no less.


lack of self control is not a virtue; you should be looking down on them. After the 10th time you've offered to help someone and they say "diet and exercise is too hard" you get a bit more cynical.

This guy is a perfect example. He was capable of getting into shape once he snapped out of little bitch mode, but most people will forever be stuck in it. Fuck them.


> domestication of the potato

I know what you meant, but this phrase has me imagining packs of wild potatoes running around, terrorizing early man.


"Terrorist" is just the scareword the pro-israeli news assigns to Palestinian soldiers. Under the same criteria, IDF soldiers would be classified as terrorists too. If you want to condemn killing civilians (which has been a common practice in wars since the 1800s), you might wanna start with the side thats killed the most civilians, and it isn't the Palestinians.


Nah, I was just winging it :/


I'm guessing your a girl. At first I thought "What a homo!" then I realized the occasional female comes across this place, heh.


And that's why you always leave a note.


Thank you mr biologist . I love watching that parasite show on discovery . I bet you study biology


These days, you can't call it "Smear the Queer".  You have to call it "Physically Assault the Homosexual".


I don't want to sound like an ass but i would have done the same thing. It's the wrong thing to do but if it has the chance of not getting me in trouble then why not?


That is because you went in there for a bad cough.  &#3232;\_&#3232;


Sounds like it should be called... *sunglasses*.... [WiiBay](http://www.epiconeliner.com/)!

*exits scene*


Sorry bro your gear score isn't high enough to queue up for that vagina.


Well you are a shitbag for lying to make a wish.


god im tired of retards judging people for living their lives the way they want....who the fuck are you to call someone that just because they chose a path you wouldnt....

fu*kin ***SCUMBAG JUDGEMENTALIST***


I love when people like this get slapped in the face with the fish of reality.


"deflect" ... "great finish". That's not how it works ;)


I'm going to pretend this said "you've earned the right to use my back door" and give you credit for making the best/dirtiest plumbing jokes ever


I'm a brony, and i agree with him. Pa: vinyl scratch is best pony.


Oh, your name is Smack. I thought someone was slapping you.


Indicator as indicative, not sure what would be a "colloquial" definition. It is used in several disciplines including engineering, and I should know. But I was not the one that got "highly offended".

So you are telling me your exercise regimen, and nothing else, makes you look like this? http://www.fitness-and-muscle.com/images/fitness-muscle-magazine.jpg


nice try, misprint guy


Yea someone who bought it would totally say what you are saying.


You think you live in a dangerous and oppressive society? I'll gladly buy you a ticket to Sub Saharan Africa or Middle Eastern countries that are truly oppressive and dangerous if you promise to stay for 1 month.


... poor mathematician. I guess the 44-5 is for home and away games? Thats 10 league games minimum.
The last 5 results for Bayer-Hsv  6:0, 5:0, 9:2. 3:1, 8:0

Edit: Im a son of a poor reading comprehension person(?) ... didnt get the "per season". sry

Edit again: come on /r/soccer ... if i dont reach -100 i come to think that there are reasonable people here.


and the best part, is OP bought every single bit of it.


What kid of deadbeat mothers did you all have? If my mom caught me smoking weed, it would have been straight to military school with me. It's served me well too; now I"M CFO of a major plastics company. What have you done with your lives?

Edit: Why am I being down voted? I guess you stoners really can't handle reality after all.


This story gave me Goosebumps by R.L. Stine.


I was gonna make up a pie chart to represent how you spend your work day, but then I thought, it'd be even funnier if I...have to go to the bathroom, one sec.


Seriously that would be terrible. I adore you and Katherine, but no.


wow thanks! Great argument!


Spam implies unwanted messages. Cat facts are never unwanted.


Gee I wonder why. If you actually put your number and expiration date in there you deserve to have your identity stolen


I'd bet Owen Wilson feels pretty shitty looking back on some of the things he's done in life.  I know I do.  Being mean to people is something that in retrospect I wish I hadn't done.


how a-boob you show the lady some respect


Did you find the sons after you cleaned up the house?


subscribed =/= comes to


Thank you. In the name of all that is Good and Swoley, I will have my gains again.


rape is not comical in any sense.


Digimon sucks. Thank you for your cooperation


>Needless to say, I felt like an ass.

You should.

People asking for donations should never, ever, ever assume every single person they see has cash on them OR the means to give their money away.


ERMAHGERD, LERXER BERERL


I THINK i read your username wrong but im not sure, koffingtits: http://i.imgur.com/JJ7Ga.png


cuz he's still fucking her sometimes when you're out of town. just a heads up


The good thing is that we get to see funny stuff from 4chan without having to go there ourselves.


>  its still really fucked up

Got an argument to that?

> plus as you said, its illegal under his home countries jurisdiction.

So is for radio stations to not play a certain quota of French language artists, so fucked up to do that.


>I had no idea

I pardon you


You should climb back into your mothers womb and maturate.


>I know girls

Haha oh, Apostolate.


As someone who regularly listens to the radio, I can honestly tell you that you're [wrong](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrjwaqZfjIY).

edit: Going for broke. I regret nothing. #YOLO #H8ERSGONH8 #KONY2012


I certainly wouldn't tell this guy he isn't manly:

http://www.sportsgrid.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/weightlifter-e1321657075134.jpg


That's kind of the thing though, we're not really able to stay somewhere else and she knows that which is I do feel it's so stupid and out of the question to ask of her.


Say it with me everyone...sexual assault!


Give us a name! We can mess with *ahem* I mean turn this guy in to the authorities.

EDIT: C'mon, it was a joke. And no I'm not shaming him because he's 'forever alone', I was joking about shaming him because he's masturbating in class.


Most posts from sirMouse (by subreddit):

AskReddit: 19

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pics: 4

funny: 3

dateyourself: 2

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Edit: I should start charging Reddit Gold for this service. &#3232;\_&#3232;


>There are plenty of reasons why someone would want a fresh Windows install.

No there are not.


Until you get up forgetting they're still on and think you're falling towards the ground


Which isn't appropriate.  The reaction of Lucas says it all.  The reason his teamates will mock him is because this kind of stuff DOESN'T happen.  It isn't 'cute' it's disrepectful to the club and to the police officer to have put him in a position to do something that he should not have.


That's kind of a sad story. I imagine tears running down this girls cheek as she thinks of you with that other girl, all as she blows some other dude.


Sans box? really. Must you be so asinine to not be able to say without a box, or no box?


Agreed. They are both several orders of magnitude more attractive than I am.


Everybody downvote this thread then my post. Let's never speak of this again.


I thought it meant to save money by eating at home...Thanks for the clarification!


damage is a lot harder to get FOR EVERYONE you dumb fuck.  What fucking worm crawled in your brain to disrupt your thinking so much that you actually think melee is the only subset affected by the IAS nerf?


Oh no way. That's crazy, i didn't hear anything about this.


Came here to say this, stayed for the upvote.


Or..

Yellow flag with four blue squares


This needs to be the top comment.


As an Englishman who has lived in Scotland, I can confirm that the Scots are truly an angry nation. As far as I could make out, that anger is directed, in order of severity, towards:

1) The English

2) Everyone, including the English


Don't get so offended. It's not like I know what I'm talking about. Just some nameless faceless person.


Poor girl growing up with a mom like that.


Waiting for common sense to kick in.... 3.... 2....... 1.....

Oh wait! This is reddit. Shit won't happen.

Continue on with your profound sense of something.....


And cortana will be 90% boobs


Reddit, the only place where adults can feel empowered picking on the young. You were probably a dumb shit too when you were young so stop being an ass.