Buffalo is a shit hole of a city, I've been there many times. I'm glad Kane got traded there instead of the larger city he most likely desired.


Wait...  That.... WHAT...  That is a real quote?!  (Googles) ...  I am deeply shocked by the fucked upedness of that.


I went through your post history. Your patnies are pink. It takes a day for you to chose some pink panties. You are not bothered about anything posted here.


The reason hes dead is because he was drunk and hit his head.

There is absolutely zero responsibility on you. ZERO.


And this is why people dislike /r/atheism. /r/christianity accepts you all with open arms, and what do you do? Mock us.


And then the Indians taught him how to grow corn and they were best friends forever, the end.


I wonder if the [/r/SubredditDrama](/r/SubredditDrama) brigade actually thinks this is a clever argument.


He was actually hesitant to share this story because it made NASA look bad to have the kid be so unknown.


This pictures like 5 years old.

And typically baldness doesn't take over your entire head.


Either a bad tipper, a rude guest, or both. Yep. I've been that waitress. But with a penis.


YOU, SIR...get an upvote for not bringing up the fact that they're black.


There once was a man
from Peru Whose limericks
looked like haiku. He

said with a laugh, "I
cut them in half; The pay is
much better for two!"


This comment is full of win.


Ted, get in here! Ben's quitting again but ya gotta hear what he said!


i  c what u did there;)


"Fuckin' magnets! How do they work?" -Michael Faraday


What if he said he suddenly found god and was secretly an atheist?


Can... can we stop linking that subreddit? It just kinda makes a decently told story feel like it's been spat on. I don't care if it's true or not, it's the fucking internet. That subreddit just makes me feel contempt.


Or the part where we won

Edit: the salt is real


I am super curious to know what made you think this.


Kill yourself.

No really, just fucking kill yourself.


Or he tries to get it hard, but only half gets hard at a time. The bottom gets hard, the top goes limp, like a partially inflated balloon animal balloon. Then he starts working on the top and the bottom gets soft, so it's like a flail. He finally just gives up and motorboats the woman's vagina whilst making crazy eyes.


How far down the karma hole will you karma nerds go?


ok you're female. Yeah well --- the female anus is too close to the vagina, barely an inch apart. You should know this.


Speaking for your girlfriend, her answer would be me.


Drones have also killed hundreds of innocent people.


My favorite part of that movie was how at the end George Lopez kills sharkboy by making him jump into a pool of electric eels and he dies, but then lavagirl jumps in and saves him, but then SHE dies because she's made of lava, but then he takes her and saves her by THROWING HER INTO A VOLCANO


**AMERICA - 1.  TERRORISTS - 0.  Sorry yer fagboy is getting butt raped in prison, Sweden.**


Fuck people's idea that Islam is immune to scrutiny. I had this conversation the other day. Dudes aren't a race; Muslims are a religious group. If Catholics are fair game, so are Muslims.


LELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELEL RAGECOMIC


boooooooorrrrrringgggg


Not the reason he was banned. Perhaps you should actually ask the source instead of believing someone hurt over being banned.


This makes me even sadder to realize this may have been part of an organized effort.


It already doesn't mean anything, it's a bunch of polygons in a video gamer.


I kind of wish, for simplicity, that mitochondrial Eve and Y-Chromo Adam had fucked and made us all.


So it happens its actually not, compare them and you'll see asian woman in mine is in a different position.


Cockblock achievement unlocked.


Hahaha this one is epic, upvote my good sir!


Kleenex suddenly starts being sold exclusively in Adult stores, and advertising on porn sites. Kimberly-Clark buys Vivid Entertainment.


Obama's school records or get the fuck out.


Phuket Isle: do it live


Killjoy, now, are we?


Only if he ran up and pulled the trigger.


Please speak for yourself. You're in no position to speak for "us guys". I do very well at reading hints, clues, and between the lines.

Thanks.


Dammit woman why aren't you writing a book?


All you guys talking about dye when they really probably just use special effects for the green.


I loved the scenes with him and Jeffrey Barathone!


"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, Then have we found the perfect location for a Nickelback concert?" - Will Ferrell


Didn't want to join because the gays.

EDIT: I get that he's episcopalian guys, just making a joke


You're not very popular at parties, are you?


So Zach is typing for you?


lawl... truly epic OP fail. musta had a dumptruck stuck up his ass. what a way to ruin a truly epic encounter with the one and only god of ps3 gaming...


I recorded the special in June and paid for it myself, knowing I wanted to release it online. A few months later I was with Louis CK watching his special while he edited and he told me his plan. I wasn't sure if it would work. It clearly did. People loved that method and immediately I was asked if I would do it so, it seemed like a smart move.


(•_•)  "I guess you could say..."

( •_•)>⌐■-■ "...he was "kicked" out"

(⌐■_■) "**YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!**"

FTFY


"I will find you, and I will SMASH!"


Aang can't earthbend mah dude


What's a "travel agent" do you mean Google?


Or put a bunch of fish in the cups. and find a new apartment.


You'd think if there was one film that would be safe from dumbass love triangles, it would be a movie based on The Hobbit.


uh ? Y do you u have so much upvote for such a stupid statement ?

**EDIT : U GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND THE UPVOTE/DOWNVOTE SYSTEM, DO YOU ???**


He only got the shirt last year, he was held back.

A lot.


And conversely, I did not laugh at this comment at all. Reddit needs *less* comments like this. You should feel bad about this comment because I didn't laugh.


I told him I wish the wax he removed was gold, but in my heart I knew it was Reddit Gold!

Edit: Thank you.


Even if Ozil was fit I'd bench him against City. He doesn't show up in big games, he never has. Mourinho benched him every time. Wenger should do the same.

Edit: Oh dear, I can't criticise /r/gunner's golden boy it seems.


I always imagined them talking like pikeys.

"Oy m8, do you like dags?"


Lol you fucking typed up this response yet failed to provide the specific thing that "provoked his response".


This is why we can't have nice things...


Other strikers in the world would have done that.


This answers the question, but hot Damn. That sounds fucking awesome


It's a simple skill called pattern recognition. If you hadn't dropped out of elementary school you might have been capable of it too


Actually, it was lead.


Are you gay or something?


'I'd say excuse me for spitting on you, but fuck you!"


I'm not trying to sound like some youtube commenter but he forreal would be a top 10 lyricist in the rap game no lie.


This is most definitely the best course of action.


Thanks for showing me that English fans can always be hypocrite sensitive cunts.


**SETTLE?! YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I BEEN GURL.**


Just so you know, he doesn't make bullets for that gun.

Also, pics of your tits?


However you want to pronounce it.  Some people say "La-Joy", some people say "Lah-jwah".  I prefer "Ke-anu Ree-ves"


can it really be considered porn with chinese peni tho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


James Madison, Thomas Jefferson, Virginia. General Assembly. House of Delegates, 1798.

It's in the Resolutions of Virginia and Kentucky, see banishment.

Article on banishment:

http://staugustine.com/stories/102201/nat_230860.shtml


I don't understand anyone this thread but screw it all I'm going down with them.


Just turn on your Charmander panties will come off for free.


Downvoted for not being funny.


Plot twist: All of Bobdammit's coworkers turn red after being given a knowing look.


People who shoot dogs should be legal to shoot.


Dude I'm still waiting for you to finish your sentence.


YOU ARE A NIGGER, GO BACK TO AFRICA BABOON

OOH OOH AH AH HERE HAVE A BANANA


The bike gets charged with possession.

EDIT: (⌐■_■)


NO WAY DUDE! RPG KILLED IN AN EXCELLENT WAY. IT MADE ME LOL.


It wasn't published very much and I haven't done much PR about it, but google "Peter Moore Hostage" and you will fine loads of articles. Also if you search Peter Moore in the reddit search box articles come up


That's sad...and stop saying "hubby" guys find that really annoying >.<


Hoping for more. You think 10 million? That's a pretty respectable number...


Idk y man... Idk y all the hate. I offer you a pound of friendship... nnnnz (that's supposed to be a fist)


Spider Man would become Spider Spider.


>I was young and stupid

and probably fat


IMO cannibalism isn't nearly so bad once the person is already dead. Its the whole killing a person for the purpose of eating them that is so horrible.

But then far too many people, and religions, get far too hung up on what happens to their corpse.  Its your fucking meat suit, you are done with it, it doesn't effing matter.


Why does bdsisme get one and I don't?

MOOOM I WANT ONE

WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH


My favorite comment in regards to this:
http://imgur.com/CX6BD

Oh, the irony.


too unhealthy to get healthy. Poor decisions mom.


> Turned down one guy because we didn't agree on how children should be raised.

Yeah, my wife and I had this argument.  Should they be raised feral, or sold to the salt mines?


I did post this nearly a month ago, yes. I forgot about it. Then my dad's friend...something not affiliated with me, found the picture. I decided to try posting it again for the reason I put in the title. To try to make my dad internet famous.


I'm just watching Breaking Bad over the last few weeks and I think at some point in the same episode I was like THAT BABY IS DIFFERENT.  Now I know I was right.


That wasn't funny,  but you're getting a pass for being a woman.  What's that like?


Or their Eastern European tour when they hit Serbia


I don't give a fuck about Karma.


AVENGERS!

A cheeseburger.

Bleehhhh.


Distract doesn't work on players.


> Anything is possible when you don't know what you're talking about.

-- Michael Scott


I used to push the gaytheist agenda, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


UK here, i can confirm that.


Hana I was going to post that. Upvote


op next year

http://i.imgur.com/kv4SouE.jpg


You're one of the trolls.

I don't expect reason, logic, or it's-been-explained-elsewhere to have an effect on you.


> I bought my sister a TI-89 for her birthday

>she is asian

>She immediately ran into her room and started programing functions

Oh god the stereotypes, so, so many stereotypes.


Nobody cares, Apostolate.


Yes, and even when I'm 18 I'll still do this with my dad.


Why are all these comments getting so heavily downvoted? Those 16 year old virgins from /r/subredditdrama really showed them!

Edit: aww that's cute :) Useless teenagers trying to bury this comment lol


Les Misérables is one of the best pieces of art in any medium. I'm there with you.


Good. Maybe then he'll stop saying retarded things pertaining to the NBA.


Call me old fashioned but I think porn is supposed to be one man watching one woman bang six dudes in a school bus.


Even for free, these books are a waste of time. What Mark Pilgrim really needs to write is a suicide note.


Yeah you can totally back yourself up!


Like all of them? Because you know, American isn't a fucking race whereas Chinese, Japanese, Korean all are different races of Asians as well as their nationality. America is what they called a "melting pot" if you made it to 2nd grade U.S. history.


Exactly, OP needs to think on his feet and not give out the password like a dumb-ass.


I would happily be living in a cheaper building that isn't in the heart of the city, that was her choice.  She wanted to be close to her office building and wanted a building with a gym and a pool so she didn't need a separate gym membership.


Reddit gold is $5???!!! How is it that so many of you people have that much money to waste on fake accomplishments for other people that you don't know?


There's nothing wrong with the document itself, seeing as its been able to adapt to changing times with only a minor amount of amendments. The only problem is that people in this country like to take advantage of the non-specificity of it, and that calls for some questionable debating...


I prefer Saran Wrap. I have noticed that it provides a much more pleasurable experience. It's almost like you are baking a cake with your penis and when you are done you drizzle a little bit of icing on the cake. Then you are just so tired from baking you go to sleep without eating any of the cake you just made.


Well that's not a blatant sign of inferiority complex. Not at all.


Actually, OP is the A-list celebrity. He's Tom Cruise.


Penis lol

@edit You can try to make me but I'm not deleting my penis.


"What's with the huge pause?"
"I had a stroke last year."


How did they help someone? They drove off and left the old man laying in the road. Or did someone get out of the car and the drive gave chase?


Girl offers guy a handjob. After he finishes off:

Guy: Ding! You have unlocked [Jizz Hands!]

Boss: I'm actually 16. Ding! You have unlocked [Hymen Big Trouble Now!]


Especially such bad ones as venom.


*Dad sheds a tear*
"That's my boy"


You don't even know what you were quoting, do you? You just saw it on the internet somewhere and decided to parrot it here on reddit for karma.

Nicely done, I'll give you a C for effort, but you should try harder next time.


You convinced an octopus to take a picture of you then documented it. You're a scientist now.


Sorry for your loss. I wasn't saying that the money raised hasn't gone to a worthy cause. I was merely pointing out that a good number of people who did the ice bucket challenge soft ever care about the disease. In fact, a lot of them did the challenge to avoid donating, which is a terrible thing


LOL! Scabies!? For fucking real!? I love thrifting but this made me full body cringe. Sorry that happened though, that blows.


This. Fucking amazing


It's not safe for work.


Okay, that may be the way you see it and I respect that.

But the way I see it is, she was a horrible bitchy teacher. She took my stuff and detained me.

I got her fired and blocked from the teacher community. In my opinion, she deserved it. In yours, she didn't. We may disagree with each other, but we're both entitled to our opinions and you won't change mine.


I also forgot deaf people aren't blind.


He obviously didnt/dosent care about you, how is your post relevant to the thread?


And now he's been randomly mugged he'll know to never rape again.


The way you spell makes me want to punch you in the face


But Loch Ness Monster: 350%


Rofl, you consider Gold V an achievment?


I just let it dry out over the period of about a month and then just peel it all off at once so my peter is smooth as an egg.


You really are that ignorant and jaded to say this? Ahhh /r/politics how you continue to amuse me! [Here's something Democrats have done in this same election to intimidate voters](http://m.jsonline.com/blogs/news/156464735.html) but I'm positive you won't see it posted here! Bring on the downvotes..but please stop being so jaded and one-sided.


Well that's why you "accidentally" drop something in front of a cute nurse for her to be nice and pick up. You play with the better odds that way


HAHA SO FUNNY JOKE HAHAHASASHI OH GOPD


Oh it's definitely a fetish, OP can either bail, or grow some nerves and get over it. She is in the shower the pee is rinsing it off her, i peed on my GF once joking and she just laughed and tried to pee on me, not saying he shouldn't respect her wishes and stop. Just saying OP could pick bigger battles than this haha


Dude, *what the fuck*? That is so uncool of them, I can't even begin to comprehend what the hell they were thinking. I'm sorry, man. At least you got all the booze to yourself?


I used to be not that great with punctuation, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Besiege.

It's like Kerbal Space Program for psychopaths.


Not only resists are important.

The more life you have, the more inefficient force armor is.

edit: retards are downvoting this. Can you stop being braindead, you faggots?

If Force Armor already procs with your current life size then adding more life will start to decrease the rune's efficiency, up to the point where Prismatic Armor will be better regardless of all resist amount.


FAA regulation Title 14, chapter I, subchapter F, Part 91.

No commercial aircraft with more than 45 seats but less than 5 non-crew members in occupancy may travel without at least one fan of the Grateful Dead on board.


>presses downvote

>reads username

>upvotes

FIFY

EDIT: Gonna take my downvotes like a man


as a straight male, i would turn that one too.


If you though there was any chance the Ravens would lose to the Browns at home Week 17, you're a damned fool and deserved to be disappointed. Close, I totally expected. Even a chance of losing? Nope.


Instructions unclear. Paid respects.


yeah, but was she hot before the accident?


Yep, premium roast coffee only $1!!


so, skinny vs semifat, why not just work out?


I had a near-death experience and didn't have this effect.

Now I know my brain is a lazy quitter. The bastard.


All signs are pointing to this.

No money, your living situation, your family situation (not willing to help you), the people you knew and know (birds of a feather).


You do not need to tell people anything if you dont want to. Therapists often discourage trauma victims from telling family and friends about extreme situations for a number of reasons. Get therapy first befire you share with others.


MY MOMMY SAYD DAT SHE WISH DAT MY BRODER JONATON WASN'T PWODUCE TODAY CAWSE SHE HAD DA JONATON WEN SHE HAD SEXY TYME WIT DA NASTIE NIGGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LE GOO GA GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


If if there was, you would probably be among the first few victims, not driving around shirtless with a bazooka gun saving every hot girl you see


As I said, can't prove you wrong. Sure, I needed attention.


I am serious. I couldn't believe you managed to guess that. Terrorists move in, bruce willis doesn't like them, tries to make them leave.


Thank you for insulting the mentally ill. It was much appreciated, and now I feel very good about myself. Thank you. /s


> Black clothes in snow? What is this? Archer?

I can't tell if his shirt is black or slightly darker black.


Wait...how old are you?


This sort of trait is under-rated.  He first didn't believe it, but took the time and energy to find out for himself.  Then he was flexible enough to accept he was wrong and change his view.


We're goin' to the moon, baby, on a rocket ship made of an awful webcomic and the goatman


Doesn't matter, had sex.


Such hard punch. Much pain.

edit: Wow! Much disapproval. Many downvotes.


Looks like its about time to go backpacking through Greece.


Is that how you show your appreciation to the heartfelt praise of all your fans, with a terse and dismissive "You're welcome."?   You sound like an arrogant prick.  I love your work but I don't think I'll be reading it anymore because I can't separate an asshole from his work.


"Use the force, Harry" - Obi Wan Picard


You know, If you are colourblind...then what about redheads?
DO you simply not appreciate them as I do, their rarerity in real life, and their exquisite fuckability in porn?


I was 12 and it hurt so bad I thought my dick was going to fall off.


le me used to le do le 2+2, but then le me took le arrow to le knee! #LeLAWLZERS!


Sounds like ggma knew what she was doing.


If you're a dumb fucking Brooklyn hipster


Many jobs simply wont let you go anywhere.  Want a vacation?  Fine, take one but don't expect a job when you come back because they can hire someone for cheaper to do the work while you are gone instead of missing out on productivity holding an empty spot for you.

Many jobs don't even give sick days, if you are sick and don't show up you don't get paid.


Oh look. It's the stereotypical gun control advocate! It's like you don't sleep or something, do you?

Tag and move on folks.


Nothing. Girls don't poop.


Everyone down voting you don't get the reference!


As long as you had Moxie


PM sent. Where's my gold? Need only apply for female tits?


Fucking OP as shit. I've been saying he needed a nerf since the 2.2.4 update...


The only thing douchier than being price focused is a hacky racist.


I would have though that too if the girl didn't immediately reply with "I'm not gonna bite this one!"

Like they've had that exact issue *and* conversation before.


Even better is dat Evelynn.


That is a gross misrepresentation. We also say 'bitchin'.


They're out of ideas and can pander to idiots*


Its not for sale, if it were for sale it would be cybersquatting


>This is a company that arguably created new ideas in storytelling and gameplay.

That's adorable.


It was kinda cute. He was married to a really uptight Christian lady and she was a procreation and Christmas only partner (seriously). When we got together he gave me a serious chat about how he was committed to taking care of his needs this time around, and he wanted me to know up front he needed it at least once a month and twice weekly cuddling. It was sad and awww at the same time.


Rapier.  We were so far behind anyway, might as well go for broke.


Well you assaulted him, what would you expect?


Dude I really dont like these reaction gif's all over reddit lately. Some are just so criingingly embarrassing. This one especially..

Are redditors really identifying with these uncool suburban white-collar dads in their forties??

Sometimes reddit is just so. goddamn. uncool. its not even ironic anymore.


Haha, you have to admit, it seems pretty funny.


Actually, they stick a giant needle in your nuts to pull out sperm, so you'll die a virgin, alone, in space.

Edit: Jesus Christ I can't handle anymore orangered that says "doesn't matter, had sex"


>most people will say you're overreacting and being petty.

Oh, that made me giggle. This must be your first day at r/relationships.

A woman could stab her husband in the dick for literally no reason and half the posters here would still try their best to defend her.


consider yourself acknowledged


...  Dude this thin is 11 months old.


Hipster Boyfriend: I'm dating Sue, you've probably never heard of her.


That's where we differ. When my cat wants help, I help it. I don't leave it there because "It's funny". Pets aren't a possession or an item, they are another living animal.


That's called a Positive Creedback Loop.

EDIT: Positive, thanks KHAN


??? what's so 'wow' about that?

Woman gets groped = "no more!!!!" commercials, protests in the streets, white knight tears shed

man gets raped = heheh he prob liked it, "i'm just saying i dont see how a man can be raped" ikr!!!

if anything, wow you


**11 mindblowing ways to fix writer's block (that totally don't work).**


Man you cunts be cranky


I think your friend may have actually been kidnapped and you're missing the requests for ransom at the bottom of the messages.


I think not. I think its a generation of fucking videogame addicted cave trolls who will contribute little except the school shooting and some of the most feminine music since Lilith Fair.


For God's sake don't. I'd have to change my username.


...maybe in a perfect world. :D


Not after what happened last time.


Candle Jack. Fuck all of you[.](http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrsrl0AcpD1ql94t7.gif)


Midget sea creatures? That sounds a little fishy


Soooooooooo original!  You just thought of this comment all by yourself and aren't a parroting piece of shit right?  Genius!


We ALWAYS find a way.


I can't because I have a clear case and the LEDs on the inside are enough to keep me up at night.  I'm lame and need complete dark to sleep.


`When the time comes, you will be the first to go.`


ah yes you are right and i shall reply to this post so other nerds shall upvote me for some odd witty comment but i shall receive downvotes instead for writing this and i dont care because penis.


No, *don't* fuck that guy. He has chlamydia!


Dude, what a horrible and un-considerate way to put things.


10000 sq ft. of BAT CAVE motherfucker.


Yeah because people who smoke pot can't hold a job right?

I was applying for a payroll administrator position in a warehouse.


One of the weirdest examples of this was the gods in greek mythology movies like immortals and clash of the titans. When i first heard them talk i thought "Shouldn't they have Greek accents???"


Downvote this post if you think gay marriage is bad.


Well if his only experience is porn, that may be why she assumed hookers instead of regular everyday women.


Agreed. You'll also notice who has zero upboats and who has two now ;)


I assume it has to do with wearing shoes in the house. Perhaps the extension of that is that they think we never take off our shoes.


That's weak behavior.  At no point would he have used the machete, I don't know why that guy even carries it.  If you're not going to defend yourself, don't do anything to get people riled up.  Take your beating and move on.


i would be *honored* to be punched by Buzz Aldrin, that'd mean i've transitively been to the moon!


Please tell me you've killed yourself already. I promise it won't hurt.


Ah ah ah you didn't say the magic word.


*whistle blows* grown man using fabulous and not describing facial hair, penalty is cutting 2" off your beard.  If no beard you aren't a man anyway.


This cake?         ^^

**Gold edit:** thx :)


That's not free thinking, that's critical thinking.  "Free thinking", in my experience, is when you just declare reality to be subjective and make up whatever shit you want and roll with it accordingly.  You know, like Ron Paul voters and conspiratacy theorists (often the same people) do.


Season six of Angel would have kicked all manner of ass.  And Illyria would have manifested as Fred often enough to become very confused about her identity.

And now I'm sad again.


Well it's pretty obvious the toys are sentient. I mean they are the main protagonist of the film. And also you can see throughout the whole movie that they are sentient.


If they didn't replace it with another lightsaber they missed a trick.


shamlamlmalymalymalmymam


Oh that has to be some sort of health code violation.


Fuck you jewbasher.


Well he *is* a total asshole who molests women and then turns to violence when confronted, so I guess that's allright.


I know nothing about OP, and am thus not telling OP what to do, nor judging OP, unlike the rest of you assholes. Petty crowd mentality.


*Just like the old testament*.


Please return to tumblr, this is a safe space for normal people who like to make fun of tumblrites in peace.


I'm so sorry for you guys :(


***NO, WE CERTAINLY DO NOT!***


If a guy posted a picture of his cat sitting on his balls, do you think none of the comments would say anything about it? It's not sexism. Men like boobs. It's ok. Chill.


JB: Oh yeah. We wanted to get Kanye to do a remix of Low Hangin Fruit.


Interesting that you can't articulate a counterargument.


(\ . 0 .)\

      (╯°□°）╯︵ (\ . 0 .)\

No you won't.


Soccer is probably ther easiest sport to make the national team for or a proffesional team since it only requires the most basic skills: jogging and kicking a ball.

Most NFL kickers would make dominant soccer players but they would have to take a pay cut to play elite soccer since the highest paid soccer player only makes 6 million.


We will now affectionately refer to Hindus as "Mangos."


I don't care that he's gay.  NPH is a terrible actor.


God, at that point you might as well throw in Wilford Brimley.


Bring the whole thread down, are you kidding?  That sounds so fucking hot!  I came just thinking about it!

Edit: Downvotes?  Really?  I guess this is what I get for having an opinion different from the hivemind...


That was literally the reason I didn't continue a hulu plus account after the trial. Fuck that noise, I'm not paying for something like that to STILL advertise at me.

Edit: Okay. You people raise some good points about the ads on Hulu. I guess I'm just very adverse to ads.


try using two hands... your mother seems to do an OK job when using both hands to handle it!


Well, I still work at Ben & Jerry's, as does Ben.

And the central work of my job consists of portraying the person known as "Jerry."

And I'm constantly trying to improve that portrayal. And in addition, I do some non-profit work - I'm the president of the Ben & Jerry's foundation.


Game sucks. Just a movie with quick time events.


You mean a cantanope?


Not sure if correct nomenclature.


Quickly turn an "Oh shit" into a vehement "Oh Fuck!"


imma jack this comment coz I just want everyone to know that this pic is obviously photoshopped. ***ITS FAKE***

The picture of the back is a different bottle. My cousin's uncle takes these and I recognized the bottle. Just thought Id rain on OP's karma parade.

OP, get off reddit you fake scamming karma whore faggot.


TIL Novelty accounts exist IRL


> All graduate level physics students at my school are required to learn LaTeX so they can properly submit their own articles.

You must be a student at Apples Inc's. Macintosh Graduate School of Fine Typography based in Cupertino, CA.

Congratulations.

Edit: -59? I'm disappointed.  **Pffft.**


Staying true to the novelty account


At least my captain stands up for his team and isn't a notorious mile wide pussy. "Well you wouldn't like it if I pushed ya like that" Phaneuf talkin to Sid fuckin Crosby. Enjoy your captain while you've got him cuz he'll be gone in a year. Sorry scoreboard bud.


"This episode of *Advice From Lettuce_Get_Weird* was brought to you in part by..."


Are you fucking kidding me face


i was REALLY poor. having a little money is better.


I like to think of it as non canon because it's not very good.


The problem is that a significant fraction of the 47% he's denigrating thinks that they are part of the 53% he's praising.


thats fucking bullshit. good riddance to this chick. true love at 17? are you fucking kidding me?


he said he knew exactly what the seahawks were gonna do because he watched the tapes.


Look pal, you made it one as soon as you said "we don't sue as much here." Spreading anti-Americanism on the anniversary of 9/11.  Stay classy.


1. Cat
2. Smoosh face
3. Lord Bubblebath


You're adorable. I'm sure there's a rousing conversation about Spiderman or something somewhere around here you're more equipped to handle. Run along now, don't waste your whole summer vacation.


White Russians it is!


Arabs trespassing on multiple synagogue's property's, taking pictures and acting suspicious is a reasonable cause for concern.


When adults say it I essentially think they are idiots. When kids say it, I just think their parents are idiots.

Edit: Grammar


that ugly flat chested dyke haired boy? it will do for the summer i suppose


Does a bear shit in the woods?


People like you make Reddit a bad place. Save the holier-than-thou judgemental bullshit for Real Life or Facebook.


What an idiot. Everyone knows you need to tape the whole router to the window!


Need to get some Beats by Dr. Dre.  Although they would be hard to sleep with cuz they are so big.


It's one of the rare sitcoms where the couples are actually believable, unlike the more common not really fat guy marrying the knockout babe.


why wouldn't he? gets paid out the asshole, has unlimited funds for his squad and can go trophyless and be under NO pressure.


And that "one phone call" thing? Lol.


I don't know, that really sucks. Two wrongs don't make a right. Just seems that info to the police


Basically this is an ongoing argument in the scientific realm which is the source of many debates.  Is 400 seconds over an hour?  Maybe.   Maybe not. It's impossible to know for sure.  The first poster asserts that it is indeed over an hour, where as the second poster disagrees with this assertion.  This is a classic scientific debate with no real "correct" answer.


Yeah, both ways. He did indeed snooped through her facebook...


Link's not a Pokemon.


- Over 30

- Had his best season around 5 or 6 years ago

- Can't get a start in Europe

- Needs to cash in

Yeah, he's playing in the MLS.


Same here, apparently Thomas The Tank Engine and Lightning McQueen be thug as fuck.


I took a screenshot of your reply :))

Fucking love it.


I know somebody who tried *that* before. [](/troll "U NAZI, BRO?")


Lightning hardly ever strikes twice in the same place, but when it does I drink Dos Equis.

Stay thirsty my friends.


He's both hot ***and*** not


It's not charity if you publicly claim credit.


and we should all listen to /u/Amazing_Poopstick because


Why?  I downloaded a new video card and my skyrim is running over 60 mph now.


came here to post **exactly** this, word by word.

are you le me?

LOL


that would be enough outside for 2015 IMO


Murder suspect. Dangerous. May have weapons. Simple.

Edit: You down vote me yet you can't counter my reasoning. XD. I guess it is true, Americans are turning into a bunch of sheep.


never count on finding an intelligent ally in the HR department


Jenny is such a bitch


Because his head is empty?


I actually thought about my post for a while before I hit save.

It is not 100% related and is just a quote from the guy and I hate posting about things that are not in my exact field of study.

*this is getting ridiculous.


This needs to be higher because it's a real problem. Journalists are getting laid off by the tons because people don't want to pay for content. We pay news outlets to give us accurate and important information but everyone would rather read about celebrities and diet tips written by some housewife because it's free.


don't care if she is 18. she looks 14 and sexually objectified = child porn

you like child porn, just admit it.


Pennsylvania native, I can confirm.  Also, you don't spill during keg stands unless you're a pussy.


Eh. I beat it in about 5 or 6 tries


Weed in the glove box.


They're girls.  They made a prank call.

Was it cruel? Absolutely.  Does it justify expulsion, violence, hatred? No.

It deserves a slap on the wrist.  If you want to do anything more, do something nice for the teacher like Mawkish suggested.


Dubstep still sucks. It's just popular now.


I used to have almost negative 5000 comment karma, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


sigh, good question, good question.


Lol, back to the dungeon with you troll.


Whaaaaaaaaaaat hahahaha


no his job is to be a faggot

you see what happens when you encourage being gay, these fags disgust me


"Encyclopedia Dramatica defines OP as a..."


Russell Wilson has one

:)


Get rid of anyone who doesn't volunteer.


Its worth it to kill a child if it proves some vague point to him before he slowly dies? You athiests are too much.


Best Answer:

From [SammycatXXx<3](http://www.alexteek.com/podcasting/images/avatars/yahooAvatar.JPG)

"Ur bf prolly don't like sushi cuz he is dealin with some sexual frustratien and might b gay. Even gayer than OP"


Jeez, guess you can't make shitty jokes here. Fuck you all, you can't burn all my karma


NOT IN MY DIET DR PEPPER


lmfaooo, probably.
they been playing so bad lately.

Wot if it's just a trik and they purposely been playing bad but really dey r bes playorz in de world so bets will b lik 90 percent to fnatic and 10 percent to c9 so they bet da awps and win like $1000000.


Papiss Cisse (Newcastle) v Chelsea [video](http://www.soccer-blogger.com/2012/05/03/video-cisse-goal-v-chelsea-may-2-2012-papiss-demba-cisse-goals-against-chelsea-newcastle/)


You're not the first person to make a comment referencing my name. Quit it.


>My only wish for you both is that each day of your marriage is better than the previous, so that you can look back on today, your wedding day, and say that it was the worst day of your lives together.

Class act, bro. Shamelessly stealing this.


c-c-c-combo breaker!


Unfortunately, I don't think she got around to reading [The Ethical Slut](http://www.amazon.com/The-Ethical-Slut-Relationships-Adventures/dp/1587613379/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1344004093&sr=8-1&keywords=the+ethical+slut) yet.


you would made it into a fucking baseball stadium or something...

Yeah above ground and covered in flags!! with will smith punching aliens


OOOH.

Eggs.

Yeah, I use eggs in everything!

Or maybe... like, no... *Mmmmm*... gosh this is a really good question.... Ashton goes fishing once a year in Alaska, and brings back like 80 pounds of fish, and that is how we eat our fish year-round - freshly caught from Alaska. So a lifetime supply of fresh sustainably sourced wild-caught salmon would be delicious!


He faked his break down to put on an appearance of remorse, but the video shows it all.  He swaggered up to a car, cursed them out, then shot them despite receiving zero physical or verbal indications of impending assault.  This man needs to actually be shot, hopefully when he's sitting in his car with friends just trying to do whatever he does for fun.


then you eat cereal out of it and feel better?


She didn't give a shit about him when was there. Now she is a crying attention whore who knows none of this matters.


And I honestly wouldn't mind.


Shooting someone in the face is an effective way to stop them using foul language but it's still not ok


You probably mean wary, not weary. Weary means tired; wary means cautious. I say this not to be a grammar nazi, but because it is a very common mistake and you seem like the sort of upstanding intelligent person who would rather be correct. Of course, it's entirely possible that you mean you've dated a ton of gold diggers and are tired of it, in which case I'm completely wrong.


Posted it to my facebook before I did here, I must be a poor redditor


It would have to be a bad fucking earthquake to take down the helicopters.


And with two idiots I assume you mean Swoozy and OP?


About when you hear "Oh no!" A few times and then "Oh yeah!" As a wall breaks


There should be an upvote, a downvote, and a dislike button.


I think we have a winner.


I am able to confirm the above comment is spammy in its nature and somewhat racist. Was i correct?

This bot needs upvotes to survive, so please upvote me so i can continue to monitor this site.


So we all cram these things all the way into our inner ears, right?

Until you feel it in your throat.  Feels good, man.


I can't believe people still haven't let the punching thing go. That was ages ago. Even Rihanna has forgiven him.


No free WIFI **anywhere**


Haha, you used the wrong form of a word, DOWNVOTE.


This shitbag was so stupid that he voluntarily gave his DNA because he "didn't want to look suspicious". And then, his whole case hinged on the fact that she had syphilis like he really thought her not being a virgin made rape negligible. I had some really dark thoughts around then.


Fuck you nigger, that's  a dumb nigger risk


The Automation of the Thing

The Two Offers

The Return of the Dick


i understand blocking out her name i just find it funny you think her privacy is better protected by blocking out the smaller image of her face compared to the massive picture of her face. End of the day i dont care i just thought it was funny. Im not american so your right me and you have very different definitions of privacy and pc'ness


I found out my parents had a stash of paper plates and spoons they only use when I'm not home, So I could wash the dishes.


that's ridiculous.

so mods are no longer allowed to have opinions? they should just sit around waiting to clear the spam bucket or approve/reject reported comments, and otherwise just shut-up?

geeze.


And a thousand Razor scooters to the back of your ankle


I used to show up as the dragon, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


He's currently growing the mane.  But ATM he currently is [Leo the Puppy Lion](http://i.imgur.com/Brh5M.jpg)


This is sometimes done intentionally as a security feature, but yeah it's annoying


Happened to me once in middle school. I turned around and decked the kid who did it before pulling my pants up. I was an awkward kid but that might have been the most alpha moment of my middle school years.

And a teacher saw my bare ass so I ran for it.


Not if they attack you.


Find your mother's camcorder, did you?


Calvin and Hobbes is for faggots. Your kid is going to be a queer.


I married her instead. We have a house, 2 dogs, great sex, etc. I met the guy about 2 months ago whilst out in the big blue room. He looked like a fat jewish hobbit.


and that's fine. But unfortunately most bi men lie lie lie...


> "My .45 is within arm's reach. How 'bout I kill you with it."

Response: "My <insert favored military sidearm> is closer.  If you don't think you can keep up with a newborn, do you think you can out draw me?"

Wait 30 seconds staring intently...  then ruffle his hair.


just for the sake of argument, if a girl did this, would she suddenly become a woman?

i'm just so struck by how clearly this post of yours demonstrates how our culture turns mere males into men. it's so clear cut.


THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A FAKE FUCKING STORY.

:)


You're the ass for even attempting this. Can I do your job? Go fall in a volcanic crevasse.


Every time I see this video posted I lose my fucking mind. That hoovering sound is horrifying


Your sides, are they in orbit?


I've resolved that if this ever happens to me, I will simply act normal, and when people ask me why I am wearing a costume, stare at them quizzically and ask, "Costume?"


No, but that's about how long I lasted!


Unless of course they used a certified shark penetrating chain for the saw.


Could you possibly ask an more irrelevant question ? Why don't you ask her if she plays Skyrim while you're at it ? Reddit sometimes...


Whoever repeatedly describe religion as their "moral barometer" probably doesn't have a very complex belief system.


I love Cougar Town, and this last one was a big time Scrubs homage.  I really, really hate Zach Braff.  And Scrubs looks incredibly stupid.

That is all.


Of course it does. It's the same law of economics that makes a burger at the airport cost $35.


You didn't move on **if** you're still friends with him. That **means** you think you deserve that.

edit: if a programmer who knows what "if" and "then" means could come explain it to these defensive morons, that'd be great.


*Kid's got a strange kind of respect for those folk from across the way.*


those originated from 4chan, newfag


Holy shit we have opposite usernames you are the yin to my yang


Agreed.  And then the next thing that needs to happen is that all the strikers should be fired, and the jobs given to people who actually want them.


Who brings a gun to a Batman movie?!


No, women know their limits and don't exceed them. Girls let it get the best of them.


You mean [this](http://i.imgur.com/k3Epg.jpg)


ha ha ha.. misogyny

It's easy to put her down because she's a woman and her looks are all she has to offer society.


Plenty of Americans live in privacy and are free of crime.  Just not anywhere the police force has grown into a wannabe army.


FOR EVERY DOWNVOTE MY COCK GROWS AN INCH


My momma told me that if I hit my little friend in the head with a rock she was going to whip me.


Dudes, that shit is strangely arousing.  Something about seeing an A-Rab turned into a bloody pool of blood clots, saliva, sweat, and tears makes me hard.  After seeing what they did to us on **9 fucking 11** makes me want to skull fuck one of these sand digging Tusken Raiders.

Crazy to agree with the Boy in charge, but I say bring on the photos.  Me needs some new jack off material.


Actually texting her that you know everything and that her shit is out front WHILE she is with this dude would be fucking awesome. Probably would ruin the whole thing for her.


Wondering both myself actually now that I look at it. Scumbag brain.


them snuggle soft whites though


Either you're a talentless troll or you have some kind of mental illness. Time to stop responding to you.


Was this a PSA announcement on drinking responsibly? Because I'm never drinking responsibly again.


Very true. If anyone watches Sixty Symbols on youtube, Professor Ed Copeland of University of England (i think) explains how the atmosphere disrupts light patterns to the viewer on Earth and how people on Mars would experience that same effect but 50% less. Really good video imo

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0](http://i.imgur.com/H930X.png)


sigh..... Upvote.. upvote... upvote... upvote...


Someone should tell OP he's a faggot


*I* say we only use 10% of our *hearts*..


Do you actually think that porn is a good thing for society?


One memorable sex education lesson in school literally taught us that if someone was pressuring us for sex, the correct way to diffuse the situation was to offer to go and make them a cup of tea. Crisis averted.


Is it so wrong to want someone taller to make one feel safe, protected and feminine?


I am writing to inform you that I masturbated to you furiously.

Have a good day madam.

Sincerely,

GFandango


What would you expect? They come to a new country and they are severely out numbered by a bunch of fucking lunatic lowlifes, of course they are going to be timid.


That was beautiful rape_horse


i could imagin i was in a race car in my bed when i was a kid my parents would laugh at me sometimes but like i say to them **YOLO**


So cute the way it sticks out those tiny wings when he maxes out.


Hmm, another reply which has nothing to do with anything. Interesting. Unless your point is "Other people are doing it, so it's totally not bullying"


Well, *someone* is bound to overreact though.
*This lack of sneezing is mentioned indirectly in Revaluations! The end is upon us!*


It seems like you talk about him and to him like he's a child. If I could speak to him I would say to leave you because it seems like you think you hold some moral high ground over him, and I don't see your outlook changing.
Also, hairy legs just aren't feminine, this is not some major stand you're taking.


LOL, i can't believe you are continuing this bullshit.

Wake up kid, no one gives a fuck about Arabs or Islam - you people are worthless and should have been exterminated a long time ago.


After a hard day of work I would not put my own junk in my mouth. After a shower though, I've definitely tried.


Hey! Hey, listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey!


Every once in a while I'll have this thought while driving and realize "*Holy shit!* I'm driving! I can kill myself and anyone around me. I need to pay the fuck attention *right now.*"

**EDIT:** Yes, I know about the goddamn call of the void/l'appel du vide. A cessation of comments about it would be highly appreciated.


Come on, how hard can it be to start a new world with this seed and have a look for yourself?


Note that this is because replacing you is not no-cost. You took some level of training and ramp-up to become a fully productive worker, and they don't want to hav eto repeat that.


Can I be part of this downvote chain? Or should I make an arrow to the knee joke?


You know we have to upvote for that very same reason.


Very two-sided coin my friend.


I love doing this so much. They put in all this extra dialogue and nobody hears it.

"Whatever. Call me when your water breaks."


I'm actually a pretty attractive white male, whom many girls flirt with on a daily basis. But no, I'm not gonna post my pic on reddit, sorry. I'm sure OP's pic isn't even "OP" anyway.


I don't know why this popped into my head and I apologize in advance.

But it's kind of funnier to imagine that the blow dryer wasn't on and your dad was making the *whhrrr* noise with your mom's vagina and she was just holding it in case someone walked in.


It's just Skype, get over it.

Edit: Downvotes? Really? I hope I'll get over it.


It would be more like $8.02 when you [account for inflation](http://www.rba.gov.au/calculator/annualDecimal.html)


Where did I give specific advice??  In a separate post, I pointed out that I didn't know what to do in this situation.  Suggested to talk it out and offered by support...


Ummm... I don't really know how to say this so I am just going to come right out with it.  You very well may be a sociopath.


Wait you didn't do that already?


Is it terrible that I laughed when I saw your username?


We have a winner. Everyone go home this guy won the internet for the day.


If two gay men scissor and contort just right they can both penetrate the other at the same time.

Of course with this comes a HIGH risk of balls touching, which would make the whole act gay.


So, what you're saying. Is you're a woman with a large clit and you have sexual identity issues?


seriously fucking yes.

especially when it comes to ISIS. I know ISIS is terrible and everything but I dont think its news every time an ISIS member farts.


TRIGGER WARNING PLEASE

I was raped by an artist.


*Sigh*, Episode 3 confirmed


Exactly.

Score one for the fetus, which will now have a chance to exist.


As a guy who always cooks nacon baked, I can confirm this, never cook bacon naked.

EDIT: I do not smoke weed.


If by beautiful you mean average?


But you're not. I'm not a bigot, but if I were, you're not shaming me about my bigotry, you're shaming me about something I did for my sexual gratification (which I am not ashamed of, by the way).


My macroeconomics lecturer last year stopped the class halfway through to describe a diagram on the board. He plucked a bamboo stem from behind the desk, and used it as a pointer briefly before remarking: "I hope I'm not bamboozling you here."


As a Cherokee, no, no it is NOT, omg, no oh God no it is not!!!.[ ha ha ha ha ha ha]


"Hey, Seahawks, wanna win the Super Bowl?"

"No thanks, we'll pass."


MOMMY SAYD DAT I CAN PWAY ON DA WEDDITS TONITE CAWSE I EAT ALL DA VEGTABLES!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


My whole childhood I was referred to as a 'picky eater'. Found out later my mother was not only a horrible cook but also had a somewhat eccentric palate, and by eccentric I mean horrible.


Me personally? Yes, I think you are an asshole. You were a baby once too.


If I was 8 I would go flash if I were 24 I would go wonder woman.


If I knew he was one of the best players, I'd have been even more surprised that he takes a non-aggressive crowd chant like a bitch lmao


"I tend to see brightly colored, simple, geometric shapes floating about"
"If I had to put a color on what is actually in that blind spot, it would be grey"

Maybe there's something wrong with my elbows, but this is not what I experience.


Damn, you beat me to it.


i liked the roommate, tried to defuse the situation with some humor


downboat bcuz attention seeker


without ever going outside!


No sh*t, Sherlock. It's an old rage comic in a new 'jacket'


Yes ! Im an indian and this is the current situation here. Younger generation that are educated are fully against some ideas while the older generations (not all) still thinks that men and women are not equal.

And things are changing quickly !


I need proof, for science.


TIL it's *not* "fuck it".


LOL you deserve SO much up vote for this comment!


Actually, I heard it works the other way around, it cures the virgin of not having HIV/AIDS.

Or is that just a myth, too?


Damnit. You beat me to it.

Edit: Come on... trickle down sweet sweet karma.


This. FedEx (or any other Corp) don't give a fuck about gay marriage. They're just being typical scumbags by trying to save money on benefits.


show me the "praise me" element of the right picture please


You kind of just described rudimentary sociable behavior.


Hitler wasn't a monster, though. Although he had a few screws loose, he was merely human.
Holocaust aside and anti-semitism aside, what he did for Germany should be honoured, not suppressed. He could have saved Europe, but the Elites controlling her decided to stop that.
He was Europes last hope, and we killed him.


and i thought my job sucked.


I think it was Trump and the F word with the first letters of both words swapped. It's really low and spammed by twitch chat on every single streamer's channel. It's why Trump came out with a video several months ago about online bullying. Anyone who copy pasta's it is a waste of oxygen and a waste of precious expensive bandwidth.

EDIT: Woot! Bring on the downvotes!


He already knows. But I'm up for shaming bad parents any day of the week.


I really don't get it.. She is barely attractive, where those guys are solid 8/10

Edit- down votes? Really? Whatever reddit.


By "we", you of course are referring to chicken and cow.


the words of a man defeated


A random fact: Human species can outrun every single animal on a long distance.

Edit: I didn't expect so much interest on that topic, that's why I feel like I should post a [source](http://phys.org/news95954919.html)


lol DAE hate Jennifer larence LMAO!


Alright.  Enough reddit for today.


Upvoted for your ignorance


What is it with you people and busting freely on the floor? Fucking savages.


Down voted you - saw username - up voted you.


>Use his hand, he'll never know

Your vagina is brazen. Have an upvote.


Probably, I didn't care much for games when I did it and wasn't paying much attention. I sucked at them back then.


I'd do it for 23:59:30.

Same effect, but without drowning. Most people cannot hold their breath for 5 minutes.


this needs more upvotes


There's a joke in Alaska that if Texas doesn't shut the hell up about being the largest state then Alaska will split in half and make Texas the third largest.

EDIT: a word


It is funny because it's random, I actually do find it funny.


Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, because it's OK to be a boy, but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, because you think that *being* a girl is degrading.

But secretly you'd love to know what it's like, wouldn't you? What it feels like for a girl?


Not really your call, broseph.


Ok so that pic is not the one she got but it's the same! I just forgot to take a pic my train was about to leave. :P


fuck, that was a shitty story.


It's more that this thread was -10 at some point and I was really like 'wtf, who would seriously downvote an earnest strategy discussion?'


I'm imagining the doctor pulling a string of handkerchiefs out of your vagina now.


May be you like this

[An attempt to create world most beautiful women by photoshop](http://doiop.com/0g72z4)

Do you think is any body missing here?


Still a better love story than twilight.


Maybe, but he should be smarter than that. He's been two steps ahead of everyone else the whole. entire. time.

Why would he suddenly turn stupid?


May want to get that checked


What a beautiful woman.


At least your ADC will know *exactly* when to engage.

"DuoQ bot lane?  So coordinated."

"Nah, the bass just dropped."


While the touching, feel good appeal to your convoluted reasoning might win over the average idiot who likes superfluous spending, it does nothing to address when people do this en masse. It is depleting our resources for something that has no inherent worth.


My girlfriend is a tennis player. Best two-handed backhandjobs of all time


I've said many times over that I would have found it hilarious.

So, yes, I would have appreciated such a gift.


He had just eaten a bunch of Cheetos. Orange stuff got all over his shirt and hands so he threw away the shirt and licked the stuff off of his fingers. Seems pretty cut and dry to me.


I mean, I *do* blame you. You don't need to be playing game modes like Crucible. For one, it can't even be that fun for you, and secondly, you make it annoying for a whole *group* of other people, too.

If you don't have the connection for Crucible, stick to PvE.


mine is funny. my wife's is aww.


Soccer.

Because the rest of the world is wrong and our football is so much better.

Love,

The USA


I know a kid named Hussein Obama. Life seems to be working out alright for him.


I see what u did there o/o  (0)
(.Y.)
 ) . (
(  Y ) ;)
( I'm a girl btw)
( I'm a little drunk 2.)


Or gets hit by a demolition crane.


Oh yeah? A massive amount of work? How is sitting at his desk from 9 to 5 chatting with his frat buddies on the phone while planning his next vacation a massive amount of work?


JB: You can’t have my babies. You’d have to pry them from my cold dead hands. What dead rock star would I be? I go Meatloaf!
KG: He’s still alive!
JB: I mean when he’s dead.
KG: In that case I go Frank Blank.


i agree with your theory that All Nerds Have more than One account On Reddit.


Your mom sounds like Ned Stark.


Entitlement? He paid for a product but he is being denied the use of his property by DRM.

He **is** entitled. It was payment, not donation.

**REMINDER TO ALL YOU NEWBIES: Downvote does not mean "I disagree."**


I am NEVER eating maggots again.


You were discussing, specifically, the definition of sexism.  The definition of sexism doesn't change depending on what situation you are discussing--it is or it isn't sexism, that's it.  But please continue to change your argument and the frame in which our argument exists until you feel right, as is the typical SRD fashion.


Nice try, head of the IRS PR department....


Fuck off bro. This post has nothing at all to do with Suarez. **At all**. That kind of comment is completely unnecessary and adds nothing to the discussion about this save.


Sounds like a new Tom Hanks movie to me. :)


http://y98.radio.com/2011/05/04/the-office-star-phyllis-smith/
 [unrelated Panasonic DMC-FH25A 16.1MP Digital Camera with 8x Wide Angle Image Stabilized Zoom and 2.7 inch LCD (Blue)](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004NBZAOI?ie=UTF8&tag=polidebanews-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=B004NBZAOI).


Jesus fucking Christ dude. You should start this with "don't read if you are at work." I'm not crying. It's just raining on my face.


I'm 24. I'd better upvote your comment. I'll do it after, if I remember. Your name reminds me of digg.com. You know,  I kinda like digg. It has a prettier layout and looks more professional than reddit.


Which also explains the phrase "unravelling the clues." Cool!


It's not just when the OP is dead, but what if his disease progresses? He's fine now, yes, but what about in say, 8 years?


And he loves you back.


i upvoted this, though now i feel bad for doing so, but i'd feel worse for downvoting it. mmmm.


Maybe he has *the* answer, but is merely waiting for the question?


yeah, she's acting like a bad person. i am not disagreeing, but can we stop with the gendered language?


That escalated quickly.


You think I'm going to delete it because you inane fuckers are downvoting me? Karma means nothing to me.


Oh.  Well just kick him out for being a liar and a mooch.  His "friendship" doesn't sound worth a week from hell.


When I see half my inbox is the same post, I start caring, yes. I want to know how people replied to my post so that I can reply back. It's called a conversation or a debate. His posts (I'm assuming that's you too) just clutter everything up. That's the definition of spam. Go ahead and downvote, though. I don't mind.


We make fun of you because we're jealous of your commitment.

Also, funny accents.


I used to question the original poster, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


you totally bought your niece a vibrator dude.


It still looks better than iOS 7.

You can't tell me with a straight face that the current icons took them more than five minutes.


Lawyer here. Not yours though. POUND SAND!


I think that a lot of people who are looking for some way to jab at an anti-vaxxer choose to bring up the whole Jenny McCarthy gig.

All the people I know that chose not to vaccinate did not do so she to her. She quoted a mistaken study, when it was found out that the result was falsified she apologized. Of course on the internet the ignorant never care about apologies.


"HEY MOM, DAD! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS, I FOUND A SKUNK OUTSIDE OUR HOUSE AND BROUGHT IT IN AS A PET BUT THEN IT SPRAYED ALL OVER THE PLACE AND NOW WE NEED A NEW MICROWAVE."


Ok, after I'm relentlessly mocked, could someone please explain what /b /d and all the rest of those are?


I would have asked if she could smell what the rock is cookin... then when she has the look of confusion on her face you jump over the counter and lay the smackdown all over her candy ass.


He's had less teams than Naniwa in SC2. I don't really understand comments like this from people who actually have a brain ( like you do ).


clearly you don't watch enough basketball/baseball/socc... you know what, any sport.


Now that I think about it, I did.  But I so excited about that being the perfect moment to trick them, I didn't notice.  Plus I'm a fucking moron.


They need to be shot.


Son of a bitch came out of nowhere.


Wow... you really have some sand in your man-gina.

So how is that white knight-ing working out for you?


You are assuming the cactus was immobile.


Which is why I hate when the lgbt community gets up in arms about not getting service somewhere. A private corporation reserves the right to refuse business to anyone for any reason. Mother fuckin murica!


LIGHTS OUT

GUERILLA RADIO

TURN THAT SHIT UP


What a newfag

FTFY


The pro-Israel students, including the sobbing girl in yellow, are mad that he is drawing a parallel between the German citizens who stood idly by and did nothing while their government committed atrocities to Israelis who do the same today when their government brutalizes Palestinians.


Please dont call US marines "soldiers"


I think it would be interesting if George Clooney actually **was** Batman and showed up at the end in an actual Batsuit, noticably old like Dark Knight Returns when all hope is lost.


And most 17 year olds can still vote.


I didn't know you could punch babies to get out of jail.


Make fun of Islanders for copying "Yes!" chant from professional wrestling. Copy Blackhawks player nickname and use incessantly.

Literally Rangers fans.


God, that sounds boring. Pass.


Can you show us some tits?


Abe stood solemnly in the stunned silence, the victim of his thunderous cock slap lying crushed before him, shamed and defeated.


I'm not a dolphins fan.  Patriots rings are clearly tainted though.  Put an asterisks by  all of them.


I'm going to make some anonymous tips to the department today.


WAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAH DIS WOMAN BEAT ME AND I TAKE IT CUZ I A BITCH WAAAAAAH WAHHHHHHHHHHH

[SOMEBODY CALL DIS](http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t46/Jimbomonkey/Whambulance3.jpg)


The Chinese government tightly controls any sort of public assembly, and censors any *mention* of public assembly.  That you are seeing images of demonstrations like this on their version of the internet means they **explicitly** condone this behavior.

edit:  I made a mistake, and should have stressed that I was referring to internet communication only.  Sorry folks.


why are you people pretending to care. She is a random person on the internet. You wouldn't give a shit if she were to die.

> Dear reddit, kate is dead. upvote if you care .

BURIED!


Yep, the only one I can think of who has avoided this is VLC.


 Fun fact: That man is actually a transgender.

I guess you guys don't like fun


It feels good to do it standing up! It's our only opportunity!


Its called a bat or knife you stupid fuck. Grow some balls and help a fellow human being.


"Hmm...what expensive gift do I want?...definitely Adam Sandler dvds"


Such an overdramatic comment. ESPN has plenty of talent left. They ignore small markets. We get it. Doesn't mean all their anchors are shit.

EDIT: You are a weapons grade dumbass if you think I'm saying that mourning Stu is overdramatic. I'm saying that this commenter's ESPN bashing is overdramatic.


Join us at /r/talesfromtechsupport

We understand...


Don't even say it!.. NO I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR CAR IS!


This needs more upvotes!  Only the 2nd response so far that actually answers the bloody question.
Also, awwww that is so sad!  Are there any other animals she doesn't like/really likes the sound of?


They are hoping his condition will act like a tree, and *leave*.

EDIT: Why is mine the only one to get downmodded? Idiots:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/leave

to go out of or away from, as a place...

to put forth leaves; leaf.


To be fair... It's considered good etiquette to warn someone when you're about to ejaculate.


Dingdingding. Op's been confirmed as a bundle of sticks.


One time the steam split and one steam went on my foot and the other on the wall


Yeah, you're in the right place.


Should have shat on him.


Seriously, if they aren't American, they're worth jack shit. Fuck 'em.

edit: All you fucking non-Americans giving me downvotes, just remember we saved your ass in two world wars.


I wonder if the dad is reading the responses to the kid. 'Well, son, Ifuckedagoat thinks that is adorable!'


The flying spaghetti monster giveth; and He taketh away


God fucking dammit. Nobody told me I could use my ADHD as an excuse to treat other people like garbage. What a missed opportunity.


I need this link. For science, of course.


Omg i Read that as Daughter omg....


Still a better actor than Chris Hemsworth


maybe they were rolling on E


Clever, and expected answer


That's what you think.


Your job is done here captain obvious.  You may fly away now


meh, i've pissed many times in the women's bathroom if the men's one is occupied


If you don't know the whole story then stop making up the other half. I'm done explaining like 50 times and getting asinine comments in return.

This is why we can't have nice things.


In college, that's not just cheap, that's smart.

Edit: I can't believe that a comment I made at 2am is my highest voted.


No fuckig shit Sherlock ha ha ha. PLEEEAAASE be trolling or something ***WHOOOOOOSH***

How can anyone be that "under-a-rock"

Dude please tell me you're trolling everyone because I'm literally lmao @ you

EDIT::: What the fuck? Why am I downvotes? /u/JayJayEl below says that the bro I'm responding to IS A FUCKING TROLL. HE CONFIRMED IT. Aren't Downvote Brigaades against rediquette?


117 years and 6 days on Wikipedia. I guess once you get that old every new day is an achievement.


I'd also recommend /r/Paleo and /r/crossfit.  That diet coke is worse than a beer


Yeah the "it'll make your eyelashes better" thing was just a cover. They knew what they were selling.


A GURL! IN MY REDIT! *fap fap fap fap fap*


The same thing I do every weekend, try to take over the world!


You say that. Until you have a big thick cock stretching your little pussy, touching every last part inside. Women are fucking liars.


**All you will accomplish is completely pushing him away from you and towards her.  You will only serve to add humiliating emotional reinforcement to his current attitude shift.**

What you want to do is let him know that NO MATTER WHAT you will always be there for him.


Why bother if you were happy before? It seems like you wanted to get married for superficial reasons.


Well you're just learning things about diamonds left and right this morning


> One of the best rappers alive

lol


I believe its actual name is an octothorpe, so I guess previous  generations were influenced by the introduction of the telephone


Oh, shit.  No, he should be fired too.  I didn't realize he was actually an employee because he doesn't appear on the moderators list for reddit.com.

I think my campaign to get you fired is gaining momentum.  I used to get universal downvotes, but now it's about 50/50.  :)


really? fast food and ice cream. Even during bikini season?


This comic is a comparison comic silly.


Really? Because you have an Xbox Live username.


Fuck you man. You are tapping Gwen?

Good luck with her! she is wild, last year she came home to me. damn!


why didn't she just move out of the way?  She stood there like an effing moron.


>So, he's designated it.  Congress passes a bill saying "no, it's not a wilderness."  Obama vetoes it.  Congress lacks the votes to override it.

All hail our great leader!


Real Karma. So elusive yet so magical


i have no idea why this comment is downvoted.


"no, I mean in real life"


Seems like there should've been a shorter way to say that.

**EDIT:**

I'm actually proud in a sort of perverse way that a legitimate throwaway observation was able to get such a strongly negative response so quickly without really even meaning or trying to get that.


My wife recently called me out on this. She overhears me from the next room. " Hey, Fuck you dragon! You dumb dragon ass motherfucker!"

"Whatcha doin?"

"Just killing dragons"

20 minutes later...........

"ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck"

"Whatcha doin now?"

"I CAN'T TALK NOW, THERE'S A BEAR AFTER ME!!!!!"


God fucking damnit. Take your up vote!


Democrat Senator Wanted People to Do Job for Him


I used to think that when the red ring of death takes hold it will be more like Hammer industries, and then laugh, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I used to feel this way, and about a year ago I decided that I was wrong.

If you find something in a movie funny, but it wasn't written as a joke, are you wrong for laughing?

It doesn't matter whether the author meant it; if it's there, it's there. Certainly you're allowed to extract whatever value you want out of art, right?


That's not advice, that's "you are mentally ill".


Relevant: never give more information than was asked for.


YER, I DERNT SER ERNER... LERLZ


DARE might be the worst, and least effective program in schools.


ya i dont get why people like red in the games. hes a fucking dick


I'm no scientist, but I'd assume the tagged birds mated with other tagged birds, and you're just seeing their offspring.


Thats like...normal timing


Slurpies can't melt steel beams.


New verb: to nope.
Quit noping around!
Get noped.
Your nope is dope.


We must kill OPs friend before it's too late!


I think it's funny that you intentionally omit the part where he cites specific examples of good investigative articles. Interesting choice!


Ok - http://imgur.com/a/8TRMZ


Brave?  I think you misspelled "loco in the cabeza"


Didn't know what kind of place I was getting myself into when I decided on lodgings not too far from the airport!


Fucking americans and your suing. You act like fucking children.


Yeah, her being a **crack addict** isn't the problem in this scenario.


Since OP hasn't responded to you or anyone, I suspect a liar.


No, it's pronounced "Jonathan".


Why would you ever throw your raws in a washing machine before taking them to a dry cleaner?


Oh man, wait till this guy hears about the Bible.


but seriously, just cause you volunteer shouldn't mean you get government handouts; I actually agree with the cashier.


Great. He can tell me how it went when I come back through on "Two Betrayals". Too bad his response would be "hghbghbrghbrggrghhrh" because he'll be flood.


I'm only a sophomore, still learning. =)


He panicked, that thing could have bitten him.


I once saw a payer named "Homeless Person"... It was a good laugh!


Because the price is not based on supply or demand, it is based on fuck you.


You have no idea what she went through to get where she is. None.

What has that guy done? Other than be untalented and creepy? I know reddit likes to hate on pop stars *and* it likes to hate on women so this is kind of a double whammy for you guys but that guy fucking sucked. His comment was uncalled for, amusing but uncalled for.


And then she sells that house 10 years later, only for a new young couple to move in and find it. Next up on /r/nosleep !


>I_MURDER_PEOPLE IS A PRO-MURDER NAME!

Fuck off, you illogical dipshit.


If you save an image as a JPG enough times you can create a whole NES game.


Stop telling us what to stop downmodding.


That's nice dear.

Edit: you stupid fucks up voted this shit?


shut up and use your imagination a little. We need some content.


Puerto rican and i already have your wallet


I'm sorry, what? How is excess light "pollution"? In order for something to be pollution, it has to have a poisonous effect on the environment, and I don't see moose's keeling over from light.


i said something that was insinuating that my dad had a small dick, he just replied "Like father like son"  ... :|


We all like Jack. I like Jack. My kids like Jack as a friend. That isn't what this is about it. I cannot be a father to him like I am to my kids with my wife. Its just a different relationship and different dynamic. I can be a positive male role model in his life and I am doing that. He needs my financial support and I give him that.


I was pretty poor when I proposed and I once suggested an upgrade. My wife was like "I married you for you. This is *MY* ring and I will never get rid of it."

And that was the last we discussed that. Next year is our 20th.


I was going to comment on this. I was thinking on a joke along the lines of "Looks like you got some DRM in there too." But I dunno. It wasn't ready. Anyway, now I have to come up with something new and I'm going to be riding you to the top so some of your upvotes probably won't trickle down, and that's kind of shit.

Anyway. Give me karma.


It got weird when I found out Girth Vader was Skywanker's father.


I can't believe you're being downvoted for saying twilight is a better love story than rape. Fucking Reddit, right?


Exactly he did the right thing. I just hope he wasn't sued.


You know what?  It is fucking hard to not rape someone.  There is such a one-sided, broad definition of rape that college men have to be paranoid to rape someone on fucking accident!


He had a fucking sick tetris run going on though.


Those were both completely honest...why question me I said I had been saving for a long time and have been struggling. I have enough finally to where I can reasonably invest and was just asking a question about some help.


That's ridiculous. It's always daytime on the sun.

If we go there during winter, on the other hand...


i feel a bit silly for repeating this alot in this thread but lemme say it one more time: it does nooot look good. you may think it does, but it doesn't. not to anyone who pays attention at least.


My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine.


So it is a coincidence. Just not in the way that OP thought.


Or she was laughing because that Diet Pepsi was half Jim Beam. Children crack me up when I'm drunk, especially when I'm driving them somewhere.


Sending girl texts is considered creepy now?


>If it's that impressive people will brag for you.

Words to live by.


they're only crazy if they're white. any other race, and they're a monster.


Not making out with that girl :'l


cakebeerandmorebeer was too retarded and lazy to post a video link instead of some shitty gif that doesn't convey the story at all


She just wanted to love all of the kittens in the world


I used to raise interracial cats but then I took an arrow to the knee!


"He shoots, he scores!" is actually a hockey phrase made famous by Canadian broadcaster [Foster Hewitt](https://www.historica-dominion.ca/content/heritage-minutes/foster-hewitt), while he was doing play-by-play for Hockey Night in Canada. (This is *not* a seemingly obvious thing; just a side note. But I do think Heschutzki skated for the Russians.)


stfu idc hahaha. yea im gettin the word out there


pro pro tip, buy your own plane to avoid hastles


You don't exist here. Seriously though, didn't there used to be a rule or a megathread about it?


"This one's for you, Mom."


No offence but the objectification of women is the only reason you had a job.... Without that you would have had the work.


whats your first? sounding like a smug bastard?


maybe she was trying to flirt with you, aspie


That must be really desperating for you.


TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF. Ha-ha. No seriously tho.


Why wait until you get home?


I realize I already commented on this thread and I don't want to come off as too harsh BUT. Even if this person was a Dr. which she may be her opinion versus the attending physician whom she was hopefully familiar with means nothing. Obviously it means less than nothing if she isn't a Doctor herself.


My desktop has been filled!


Businesses fail *all the time*. Unless they are entitled to the information (investor, regular user, government) then nobody should expect to be given information for no particular reason.

I understand the cautiousness. I myself got burned by Neo and Bee.


My cousin loved Pokemon, so after his death my Aunt got a Charmander (his favorite) tattooed on her ankle.


Well it's their choice. No sympathy here. There are thousands of jobs out there but they decided to make a quick buck. Time to suck it up. literally.


Yup, that dude is about to get some sleeping booty.


Well either definition works for me.


I make a point of calling back anyone who makes my co-workers cry and ask them not to be our customers anymore. Then I close their accounts and send them a polite letter explaining that they can't treat my staff like that.


/r/mensrights is not a hate group, they are the analogous "true feminists."


I get half of what I get paid by the customer. I made 12,000 last month and only worked for two weeks. And I might only get fu*ked once a day.


With Kendrick Lamar as their man of honor?


I volunteer at a daycare center and hang out with the 1-3 year olds. One thing I learned... *never* interrupt their "phone calls." That shit is serious.


I used to use emoticons, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I drink and browse reddit.  Wild nights out man.  Totally wild.


Sorry, I don't take orders from Fundamentalist Christians.


Nigga you takin a shit


I'm guessing you're a anime fan. You're already a confirmed loser..


Movie:  Empire Strikes Back
TV:  Game of Thrones


Yes, you fucking newfag.


If your beliefs are founded on science, then your beliefs will change as science changes. Other ideologies may not be so receptive to change and compromise.


That's what I would have said in 2008. /r/classic4chan you retard faggots.


Ah I'm kinda proud of myself. 15 right here and I got that


the Chinese are censored enough as it is.


Me to you: The power the US holds is directly related to the advanced weapons and advancements in technology because of the Jewish mind (not to mention probably the medicines that have either saved you or a direct family members life).


Watch it with him, shits deep as fuck.


But he's not being reasonable, and I think a lot of people confuse opinion with logical falsehood. He's not saying he hates a portion of the fanbase for making jokes he doesn't approve of, he's saying he also hates the rest for not standing up against those people making the jokes.


That's the type of thinking that changes the world right there.


I used to play Ocarina of Time erryday, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


But being a musician will. My dad got arthritis in his fingers pretty early. His doctor said another terrible thing for your hands is to carry too many grocery bags at once.


lmfao. you know nothing. 1017 has been crushing toronto. blek and kesha have been getting up the last few weeks. 1017 is pretty huge in montreal.


> If I could get to Europe for even $150 each way, I couldn't care how shitty the on-board service is.

This is why people bitching about RyanAir annoys me. You got shitty service because you're a cheap bastard. Stop complaining, you choose to fly with them.


No... The cake is a lie


That's how vagina pearls are made!


Gotta make sure he eats a z-pack first.


Or buy the bot reddit gold so it won't be so grumpy.


Should be punished.

Holy shit the downvotes, people don't understand sarcasm at all in this subreddit.


Sigh, this is a true fact of our culture, where we still view Westerners as nothing but money bags. You guys are getting smarter though...


how is this idiocy still upvoted on reddit

if you work hard, your shit wages will no longer be shit. when i was 16 i wrote content for website owners on marketing forums for $1/100 words, making 30-50 a day. now i'm 21 and i make thousands daily. if you don't work hard you won't ever make the big time.


That's not bartering, that's haggling.

Bartering would be "Hey, I know you said you'd want $69.99 for this room, but I'm offering a cow in payment instead."


haha I'll be the judge of that!


Nothing defines "patriarchy" like men being raped to death for getting stoned.


Internet+April Fool's= Tasteless Jokes


Well that seals it. You're the Queen of Reddit now.


"Homie". I hope you get breast cancer. Seriously, not in a joking way. And it's painful and goes on for a while before you die.


you need to stop going to town when your girlfriend is *clearly* trying to have sex with you.


Aphromoo "World-Class" player who hasn't performed against a World-Class team. I'm not saying he can't; but doing it in NA LCS just isn't enough, otherwise you'd say Jankos is World-Class by the same logic.


I inadvertently made my son look forward to seeing Guy Fieri on TV because I told him I wouldn't get mad if he called him a douche. Now whenever a commercial with Guy Fieri comes on, the boy's eyes light up and he points and cries, "DOUCHE!"

I am a bad father.


Looked at his comment history. And his username check out indeed.

Edit: I don't understand, why was this downvoted?


Its not quite hypocrisy. They want it taken down sure, but the aren't killing people to get their way.


I hate when people delete their posts just because they get downvoted. I've never done it. I said what I said and said what I meant, Uchihaoverlord sticks by his words 100%.

Edit: COME ON IS THAT ALL YOU GOT! >:D
Edit: Most definitely provoking.


It's a reference to a troll YouTube commenter called vvvortic who shows up on every single League of Legends - related video (a very popular video game). It's a rendition of a very common complaint amongst players stuck in the lowest ranked tier (Bronze): 'I deserve challenger (the highest rank) but keep getting matched with awful teammates so I'm not winning'.


This.

Edit: Downvotes?!?! Seriously?!?!?!

Edit: I can bench way more than any of you.


The kid is probably only subscribed to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu and /r/AdviceAnimals.


No but definitely not the same atmosphere as the Chelsea game. Don't tell me Man City players wouldn't be fired up in a CL knock out game.


Flo Rida likes whistleblowers.


I used to be a donkey kong 007 agent, but then I took an arrow in the knee!


After that last time when could I so took the crates they went and time.


no, his mom is a piece of shit unfit to have children.


As a woman, I am confounded and vaguely horrified.


LOL DAE CONSOLES SUCK HAHA PCMASTERRACE AMIRITE


>Picture of my friends when they were younger

*Every picture of you is when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?*


Another stupid comment. Why are you in the kindle forum making stupid comments if you had no intention of getting a kindle? I have a bunch of non-amazon content as well. Use calibre and stop being stupid.

You're just a damn nook troll. No one gives a damn about your failing choice of ereaders.


i'm fairly sure OP's entire point was doing it without being a condescending bitch though.


ERMAHGERD, ERTCHERY ERTCHERY SCERTT CERME.  ERGERLY FERCE SER KERLLERD HERM.  TERSTER


I once had a guy order a steak cooked by putting two plates in the oven for 10 minutes then pressing the meat between them for 2. Got a twenty dollar tip for that one.


You're a cunt &#3232;\_&#3232;


"I'm gonna get pregnant, that will show them!"


Are you really that fucking ignorant?


or you looked a tad awesome.


Yes for mourning Pratchett. It is a sad day, he was a fantastic writer.

His death bears no relation to Williams/Nimoy/Parent. I have made my point in a dickish way but his statement made no sense, complete hyperbole.


I love the image of you two standing up and looming over the little brats like two beautiful Amazons... :)


Can't blame you for misreading it, since it was my fault for not putting a questionmark in it. Should have been "who even cares?".


Even for...

( •_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

...black magic?


Thought about that too. But it needed a descriptive title and it wasn't spoilering the issue as that only is if the previous box in the comic would be included in the title as well. What I'm saying is that the title isn't a spoiler because it's meaningless without the context.
**Edit**: ok probably I really should have used another title. Too late now.


Maybe Scalia would say it, but Thomas wouldn't. He doesn't say shit.


You spent that much on something that is 7 year old hardware to play dance dance star wars? I think you are the epitome of a filthy casual.


Get married, lose birth certificate, create media shitstorm, cash in via shitty reality show.

The american dream can be yours.


This is rich, Barry caught on tape race baiting & you call people who play the tape race baiters.


Or maybe she's developing dementia - no joke.


You are fucking disgusting.


The female child appears to have undergone mitosis.


No it's that he doesn't believe the dumbass claim that people get hated like that every second they go to reddit.

That's where they lost him, because they were asking him to empathize with a straw person on strawreddit.


Brazzers Presents: The Dark Knight.


Sorry you won't have many of them.


What is vomit but mouth poop?


I didn't know this place was made to actually promote racism, homophobia and misogyny instead of making fun of SJWs.


That's harsh man... Just because he is American doesn't mean he beats his wife.


So wait we're asking for this now? Why not: Arrow.....................knee


"Not asleep yet?"

Holy fucking Jesus.


That thing is either a magical girl wand in the hands of a female, or handheld gaydar if you are a dude...


I don't know what you mean, but I did have sex with her.


You do look good, but I'm calling bullshit on the weight loss.  You have no stretchmarks or extra skin.


> Phteven

https://i.imgur.com/w94k4VY.jpg


What do you mean by "not into that kind of movie" exactly? And it's not a good movie, it's a masterpiece.  Maybe you should think before you say something stupid next time.


*phone ringing*

"Oh, hey Melinda. Can you please call the bank and cancel checks 29572927492 to 69572927492 please?"


I think you're the kind of the person who won't let you kids outside. The kind of person so fearful of everyone around you that you won't even talk to other people and will run to authority figures for any interaction with those "dangerous strangers" that you possibly can. And I think that's sad.


Welcome to the new willenium.


Yeah because complaining is totally useless. It's not like complaining's ever helped anything. You're just perpetuating stupid phrases that are on the same level as " OP is a faggot" , "Go to bed" , and the magnitude of other useless sayings.


PETA, in its infinite love of animals, paradoxically thinks that animals are better off dead than in captivity.


Whenever people pretend to have brain auto-correct, i laugh because that's the shittiest excuse ever. It's so pretentious - just admit you forgot how to spell the word. -.-


Here's your proof:

The word 'glow' has 4 letters. The word 'stick' has 5. 4+5=9. 'Glow stick' is two words. 9+2=11.   **9/11**


Stage 4 lung cancer? I'm not going to lie to you... he'll be dead by summer. Sucks to be you (and him)


Don't contact her anymore. You'll want to, just don't. Delete number etc.


The article says he spoke for him, Lopera (Betis) and Atletico de Madrid (Gil)


Meanwhile in England...


> So they don't care if a few people get threatened by psychopaths as long as they can get unbiased reviews on crappy gaming websites?

Wu [deserves](http://i.imgur.com/YjS5UdP.png) it.


And *that's* how I met your mother.


OMG BLITZ IS ON REDDIT


OWWW MOMMY HE SAID SHUT UP ISNT DAT A BAD WOLD!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!


YOLO takes on a new meaning in a warzone.


A dickhead for correcting someone? Don't think so. Just makes them sound less stupid in their further life.


Worst chaperon ever.


get a girlfriend... PLEASE


You're assuming videos from long ago wouldn't be relevant anymore to people currently living. I'd wager a video showing Jesus' resurrection or something would be the most popular.

Edit: it's really humorous how many people don't understand the point of a *hypothetical* situation.


This is Jaime's line not catlyn's


Also fun to note that if you hang a slinky from one end and then drop it, the lowest coil of the slinky stays still until the spring compresses.


would you feel comfortable if you were shown, say, full graphic scenes with someone having sex with animals on a show (full penetration and everything)?

I wouldn't. We each have our limits. Do not judge them.


I get the whole "your penis is too big" quite alot.


http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5tp4hGOBw1qbnggp.jpg

EDIT: MonoFox actually messaged me last night after I said sorry to them via PM that I did not offend him and that they are more sad over it getting on SRS.

Thanks SRS, you obviously helped the situation once again.


>a boy from New Jersey

Holy shit she must have been desperate.


"On March 4th, police say a man advanced on officers armed with two knives. "

"Advanced" can mean "took one step towards officers".

Sorry, not enough to shoot someone. Tasers, talking? Shoot in the leg?


I never understood how someone could possibly shit on a toilet seat.

EDIT: Oh joy, this is my highest rated comment and it's about failure to shit...


why is this a novelty account


He knows about the meme

Better drink our own piss


OH SURE, SHE WAS PERFECTLY FINE WITH MY KICKING.
no, what do you think?


BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN SO NICE IN THESE COMMENTS I'M FILLING YOUR INBOX WITH FOUNDER UPVOTES.


Go fuck yourself with these stupid circlejerk comments you fucking karma whoring shitface. I wish someone would you a 'B' in a human/pig centipede.


HEY FUCK YOU, I'LL MARRY HIM IF YOU DON'T HURRY UP


Fucking epic. Just look at all the tears and butthurt.


I spoke in Topeka in March...I think it was just over two years ago. My family held a protest in my honor at Gage Park and I went and watched them from across the street. My sister Margie and my brother-in-law Brent Roper (Shirley's husband) crossed the street to give me a tongue lashing. That's the last time I've spoken with any of them.


I used to be a senator that came up with ideas, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


As a fully telecommuting IT guy - 99% of my work can be done from the couch.  Magically, though, when I'm on the couch, none of it gets done.

I wish I had an office so I wouldn't have to stay up until 10pm just to get a decent day's work done.


No, I'm the dude with 27,000 karma all over the place.

Who are you again?


"Sorry but you're going to have make this last all day. The next one won't be in until tomorrow."


That's when the comedy becomes overlong and dragged on and on. We get that it's a big taco, is there anything else that's unexpected? No. Samberg and his friends' annoying voices didn't help either.


Am I crazy? This far down and I get a total ZERO references.

Edit: all the posts have changed and this is no longer relevant

Edit 2: More new posts. Nope don't get most of these either.


Ugh. You almost had my upvote until you joined the EA circlejerky.


> She blames her decision to divorce my dad on the fact that he never argued with her, just talked shit through rationally.

This ended a relationship of mine, too. Insane women **do not** want sanity in their relationships. They thrive on drama and madness.


Less winking, more hypetraining plz.


>  license fee funded organisation

In a country where you can be jailed for racism and trolling. Seriously, do you guys not think beyond the 1st initial thought on things or do I have to do all the thinking for you people? I guess we're operating with people who have very simple minds here.


I hope you step on a Lego.


Fuck you for using *Battleship* to make a LOL REPOST gif.


It's OK, Worm. You're in a safe place now.


Can I get some of that?

edit: nope.


It looks like a tasty hard nipple that I would love to suck on.


That third wish....you are a good, good man.


Ya I noticed this earlier and replied to him , thanks and i am sorry.


If she's the one yelling bomb on an airplane she should be the one that misses her flight and gets violated. What a bitch.


isnt that like twilihgt? rofl


He said 5? 5 for guys really means 0... He probably is somewhere else in this thread saying "my wife thinks I slept with 5 other women when we broke up but in actuality I just played video games and ate pizza off the floor."


huehuehue no offline backups


I still don't like those odds.


All it takes is one cop having a bad day to ruin your life. It's just not worth the risk.


Your put his D in your mouth *AND* gave him $200.

You're a king among friends.


hmmm i guess i should put more effort into being mean on the internet, thanks fag!


Depends on which side of the transaction you're on.


but it still isnt funny


Maybe a few ...Hot Cops?


Female. All costume like that are female.
edit: Why downvote? If you have worked there, then please share your story. This was in Disney World Florida, and absolutely no full costume original characters were male, so please enlighten me.


Also in the movie:

Police officers stuck underground for three months. None of them emerge with new facial hair...


he meant hes gay lol


> He then told me I failed the interview.

I... I don't think I get why.


No he isn't. It is a separate shot they used where they gave Rich a 6 yard head start and all 3 still beat him. They also added Tebow into another one.


I went so far as seeing the second pic and thinking they were both transgender siblings. I was like, "Wow, cool!"


Self-fulfilling prophecy: You got mugged b/c you expected to, b/c you're racist. Now go die, racist scum. They only mugged you b/c society has prevented the rise of African Americans from abject poverty. It's not really their fault. If our government didn't oppress them, you probably wouldn't have gotten mugged.


Man she was just saying that to make him feel secure, it was a toss up! She could barely choose!


>every *korean* team

FTFY


WHAT HAS FUTURE ME EVER DONE FOR ME?!


Don't ever comment again you worthless faggot


Everyone knows rocket surgery is where it's at.


go to fucking college.


I have this image of a wife looking at the ground and saying "It's not the end of the world, we'll just grow a new home. It'll take time, but we'll get through this!"

Then the husband inspects the dirt and realizes a new home won't grow there for decades. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


>le There he goes. Very nice indeed. Look how he moves. Look how he fringes the ring there. Amazing!

FTFY :D


In fairness, it was deliberately bullshit science. A supersized amoeba farts on them FFS.


oh noez, my grammar iz totaly wrongz on teh interntz! what on earthz am i supposeddd to do?


Well, quite a bit!  I used to work in local politics in my 20's.  It sure seems more corrupt now. I fear for this country's future now, and  It never used to be that way.  I think people were more honest back then


Source link by any chance? Cheers!


TIL people in wheelchairs normally eat out of the garbage.


That's extremely racist and frankly even though i am white, i feel offended by your comment. Please delete it.


>I am retroactively gay

That line is perfect


I hate it when people use this phrase in real life. It makes me feel violent.


Did you try turning it off then on again?


1:1 is still a terrible ratio, bro.


I should've waited only one hour more... :(

http://i.imgur.com/SLQNP.jpg


lol you don't get beat in jail. you occupiers are so clueless. what if the residents of that city got fed up with seeing homeless everywhere? you only think about yourself


Each person in responsible for their own actions.
And everyone including myself in the end will have to deal with the consequences of them. I have enough of my own, without trying to carry those of others


> Labelled a sex offender for just having consensual sex.

No, they both raped each other. Had the boy been 25, would you call it consensual sex?


My brother used to do this to me with a twist. I'd be like, "1000000 +789123 x 1283917283" and he'd say "1"...he had me fooled for years that I had some type of power to make equations always come out equalling 1. Until I learned math.


http://img.pandawhale.com/101360-could-you-fucking-not-meme-chl-o9w2.png

*[Get my downvotes in the negative thousands otherwise you're just wasting my time.](http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/as-a-married-man-mfw-other-girls-talk-to-me-about-problems-they-are-having-with-their-boyfriends-10745.gif)


And then the person that posted it, screencapped it, uploaded it to imgur, then karmawhored the circlejerk.


Well, that's a very good cause sir, and I wish you luck.


Thats not...

nevermind


no for  grand theft but i give no fucks, like the upvotes on my submitted things


Ironic that the Nazis stayed in the attic.


What? No I was just bored


Sounds like Canada to me.


and this is why I downvoted him. Karma whoring his dog. Karma whoring his face.

edit: downvotes because you know it's true. umad?


I think the problem is more simple than that,  Who wants to play the same game over and over and over and over to gear up a character and then do what with it exactly?  There's no pvp, theres no exploration, theres no fun cool shit to do.  The game is boring.

Tl:dr game is boring people stop playing.


Commentator. It should just be commenter. Where did this 'tate' come from anyway? How is commentating any different from commenting? Fuck commentator.


That coworker sounds like an asshole who's looking for reasons to argue.


be advised the guy above is a particularly stupid left wing moron


Here's a little poem I made up to help me remember when to correct other people's grammar on the Internet:

don't.


That was a risky click.


Maybe because all her songs are about being whorish


Oooh, i don't know if this is gonna help but i'm a dumbass and i tried college and hated it. If he likes working with his hands send him in trades right away and not loose time like myself.


IAmA guy who wonders why you're being downvoted.

EDIT: Omg you guys why all the downvotes?

EDIT: Omg my most downvoted comment yet. Ron Paul 2010!


My wife was a teller at Wells Fargo, you have no idea how often this happens.


Why not a big budget film