1) You were a kid

2) Even a severe bump doesn't induce miscarriage in a 4 mth old. Physiologically the woman's womb is extremely strong, and can withstand high forces.

3) Miscarriages happen often, and for a variety of reasons.

4) You were a kid.


How is that the worst? Plenty of my friends cheat and it saves their relationship.

No need to beg the SO for sex when you can easily get it on the side.


South end of winona though


How did you get to be so dumb? Did you work really hard at it? Cause it was worth it.


When you have an 11" cock like me, you just don't feel the need to impress people on the Internet.  I mean, I'm just too busy making $400k a year at my very important job and volunteering at the local soup kitchen to really care about the difference I'm making for a better world.


why? so we cant become a shithole like europe? they re a bunch of immoral faggot lovers there. thank god we ll never become like that


I had a piece of banana bread that my wife made.  I ate neither at home, nor in a restaurant.  I ate it at work because we have a toaster oven and I like a light crispy outside layer on my banana bread when I eat it.


Oh, I didn't know that I had no idea who I was referring to when I was talking. Being that you clearly have more clarity of mind in operations of my own, please enlighten me.


1. Drag glass aquarium below the shelf

2. Wait until spiders fall into the snake pit

3. ???

4. 1 million dollars


No, he should blame himself!


I always assume it means three.


**S N A K E S O N A P L A N E**


An hour?  You underestimate the power of the internet.


It's *got* to, right? C'mon, work it out! You can do it. Youareaverysmart. Get on the Brain Train.  It ain't a Lame Train.


i think that may actually make his ass even shittier...


there was one time when I didnt even click on the site,after searching up cursive,and I got a trojan horse...   thats safe right?


Well he did poke fun, but he did it in a right way. Few comedians know how to do that.


The fact that you wrote this long bitchpost to say that you think I'm wrong for sticking up for what I "believe" (so to speak) is hilarious.  Especially since you take such a high-and-mighty approach.

You're part of the group that continues to badger me, and yet you take the time to condemn me.

How thoughtful.


DIRECTED BY M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN.


>I can't take a joke

I feel sorry for you.


lookup Dani DaOrtiz he is out of control


Because the middle-class is generally ignorant and seem to vote against their best interest.


When I was first taken I told them I had a wife, so I spent my time building on this imaginary wife. I based the person on an ex girlfriend


devastate? over a frigging fake pregnancy joke? Damn, your family must be a bunch of assholes.


Google is getting a flood of "Where is the clitoris" request right now.


While your point is true, he is still correct in that democrats are fucking parasites.


Upvoted at 'obese-rapist-sultan voice'. Then it just got better.


They have become apple.

Edit: Well apparently this was a bad idea. I was thinking more along the lines of 'people will blindly buy anything they sell'.


Not right now, you don't.


Seriously nothing in that picture even comes ANYWHERE CLOSE to the fucking color green... sorry but LOL wtf


Eat more pineapple and you won't have this problem, trust me.


what a cliche'd reddit response... never am I surprised by some of your guys' sheer faggotory.


>computer moving by itself

Telekinesis FTW

Edit: and this is now my most upvoted comment. FML


Then why does he say it's ranked? He could go show it off in a custom game without bots. "Look, I can Smite Baron from this spot here."

Yelling "I'm so good" has NOTHING to do with anything too.


I feel like this would be a vital step in finding out what happened.


Lolz.... how do not have more ups?

Have mine


Step 3 is "Don't do step 2 and sell picture to TMZ".


Oh damn :( I just wanted to share with you guys.. Ungrateful bastards..


I don't really want to rock and roll all night, or party everyday.


I used to expect a McDonalds analogy to seal the deal, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


AMA Request: Suicide Bomber


Whenever the colts do something that the league thinks we shouldn't be able to do they are all over it.

I'm surprised Andrew Luck hasn't gotten random drug tests from getting up after huge sacks.


If you fill the garbage can with water and dump it in the bowl from a couple feet up, the force of the water falling in usually will either push the blockage down or break it up enough to unclog. As a bonus, your friends will hear the falling water and think you have a gigantic urethra.


This made laugh audibly. Upvote for thee


And I owe it all to nude.


Oooooh. "shadowbanned" LIGAF - I might not sleep tonight.


We have a winner for this month folks!


Reddit has gone to shit and is populated by an overwhelming and ever increasing number of retards and faggots. Downvotes from them are as good as upvotes in my eyes.


Hah reminds me of the days of going to the local grocery store and weighing Pokemon booster packs on the meat thing, the packs with foils weighed more. Got a pretty nice collection with this method...


More like everytime i see korean names everywhere xD


Because it's not true.


Hardly. I know majority of the people on this site are generally hideous and/or fat. That describes you doesn't it? Go play some more video games.


Yeah, the sub is more like /r/idontlikethisperson


Well they all wear those "pussy pads" (Kevlar vests basically) and it makes them look... Awkward? Even young athletes (RGIII, Luck) who are no doubt in shape look like 40 something beer guzzlers.


A booty like that make me forget the question. Assnesia.


They're all screenshots from the game, silly. This is /r/gaming.


Im 16 and ready to give you the best 30 seconds of your life.


If the wind forecast turns out to be accurate I don't even need to watch the game because us shutting out the Packers is a near-certainty.

You're underestimating both the LOB *and* the Packers' dependency on the pass game.


...now explain it to me like I'm still a twinkle in my fathers eye.


WE SAID WE'D NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN


I tried turning their homepage to google but I failed because I normally use a Mac.


AND ANOTHER WARD GOES DOWN!!!

EDIT: I took some time to write out why I thought the game would be given to CLG, refreshed, and found out that I had just gotten 950 karma in 2 minutes. That's about 8 karma per second.


110 is less than 225? That is news to me.


I once did the same thing when I saw a little girl hopping around (she was on the other side of a counter from me). I said, "aren't you a cute little hoppy bunny?"

Then I looked over the counter.

She only had one leg.


Pretty cool but if I wanted to get better I wouldn't go there :D


Simple and correct, perfect answer.


I'll side with the former.

It's time for religion to fade away.


buy her a goat for a village in africa, and if they let you name the goat, name it after her.


I was thinking BB as it makes more sense but you go with that...


I loved the "Battle of Castle Black" episode. That scene where they say their vows while the Giant runs towards them fucking gave me chills.


But they CAN treat girls like that. Just not their teachers. Don't tell me the teachers that nailed you in the classroom got into your pants by being perfect gentlemen,


Hey Digg, I made it home safely, thanks for upvoting me tonight.

Sorry Reddit I accidentally sent that to the wrong person please don't upvote me or anything.


Hey guys can I have downvotes too? I am trying to get into new things.


It's not funny. I laugh cause its polite


Wow, I'm impressed by your comment, sir! Please, take my small tribute of one upvote you fantastic bastard! If only I had more!


"Change my tire for free and fuck off before I have you arrested for being a good person!"


I don't think most men have problem parking in any way.


haha yes i was thinking that . . . . when i have a strong enough opinion and argument to back my views ill get back at you.

right now its not a debate im mentally capable of getting involved in because i can see it from both sides of the wall.

Ill just keep writing the music.


Mourinho had his hands on Wenger too, by the way.

McArthur was not 'choked'.

Mourinho was not being sarcastic.


Sadly I own a bunch of websites and don't have WHOIS masking so figuring out my home address is really easy. I am however a typical Texan and if you were to come to my house wishing to do harm to me I would shoot you.

Edit: Hey, could we stop sending me death threats now? Thanks.


^ Annnnnnnd downvote.


If you go around eating strange shower mushrooms, you're more likely to wind up declaring yourself the lizard king.


When I was 15 I was popping Xanax, drinking, smoking weed and having sex, as were a lot of my classmates.

... and I went to Catholic school.

And that was 6 years ago.

How out of touch are you, really?

15 year olds are not kids. 15 year olds sell crack in my neighborhood.


Because gasoline has traditionally been inexpensive here.


Clearly you don't watch Game Night. Or the season finale of On The Spot

[edit]... Jesus Christ. I apparently opened up pandora's box[/edit]


Pretty sure Japan has that covered.


like really you think she's ugly or something?


some say her eyeballs still wear them to this very day


Well played, good sir!


Smart fucks get scholarships. We just don't hear about it on ESPN.


That sucked. Your novelty account sucks.


oy, pip pip.

I have no idea what I'm doing.  Sorry.


And what do you mean by that exactly?


Hack kettle, froth tits.

hk; ft


I'm a democrat
(you knew that was coming and you set yourself up for that by posting republican first)


Maybe like [this guy?](http://i.imgur.com/hPXaB.png)


You need more karma than this slimy, shady OP


Don't worry, we'll get you out of there! Somebody help me! We must rescue this man from inside an iPhone!


Oh you think fat people are hard working people? Stay stupid retard


The people who work for this magazine are heroes, in my view. I hope this coward act does not push the French media to stop being provocative. Exactly when we are being bullied for exercising our freedom of speech is when we most need to keep it up.


Go on then, fuck off. Reddit will be much better when it's not full of man-children.


*information technology*


A barista at Starbucks hardly "pays great."


seriously you guys?  she's fucking huge!  that's a BUILDING she's standing next to.  bigger than a building isn't big enough for you?  there's just no pleasing you guys


Last I checked to order from a Korean website meant requiring a Korean SSN. Are these IPS displays as well?  BOOM FUCKING HEADSHOT.


FOUND IT!: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/zfmgl/girl_im_interested_in_knows_memes_shes_a_keeper/


Really you have never seen this? If you have been on here more than a year you probably should have.

Edit: Boy that was unpopular.


you both like coldplay


I think Ferrell looks great. Very intimidating.


appreciate the fact you can say goodbye, others aren't as fortunate.


At some point you have to put the blame on the mother as well, for being so selfish  and lazy that she wouldn't go out of her way to get a coat hanger and do the deed herself.


COMIN' AGAIN TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUCKIN' DAY, YEAH!


Because the faggots posting ratings are acceptable. Fuck you.


I lost you two months ago! We broke up! Are you mental? Get the net!

Edit: Gold virginity has been taken. Thanks!


upvote to you for typing all that. but i think you can relax, tirgoviste is OK for now. It's just NYE that's depressing. tirgoviste made it through the toughest day with nothing more than a pair of pissy jeans, and that's what counts. could happen to anyone, has probably happened to a lotta folks.


Yes free karma plz. Need 3 for 4k! this way I don't have to think

EDIT: omg… 5k now :)


It's not okay to badmouth homosexuals just because you feel safe ganging up on them with others.


Bagels can't fly. Cummon dude, breakfast physics 101..


I really love... nothing about this, it's honestly complete shit even by r/funny non-standards.


Personally, I hate it when I accidentally kill people.


accept maybe release information about the government they didn't like...


Oh my goodness never before has a statement so accurately encompassed the human experience


If I see a cakeday post.. I Downvote on principle.


Don't worry. Your 'coolness' is distributed on a parabolic curve.


Feelin' like a persecuted minority again, average white, male, middle class redditors?

*Really?*


I went in and fell for it immediately.
My top comment is about my own stupidity... yay.


Why should I give a shit about what a philosopher thinks of capitalism?  By the way, remind me to ask my astronomer about my lower back pain.

[So many butthurt philosophers]


You mean collar coded? ;)


They're still criminals.  Every single fucking American soldier is a criminal.  Period.


Who gets the Hitclips?


DAE upvote OP's link but downvote all of his comments just because he's OP?


Reddit would most likely hate that movie.


its not a repost u noob

downvoted


Good. Fucking bitch. I hated her. >_>


Explain to me what is happening then, oh wise one?


gonewild request:  Emma Stone


this is fit: http://www.natural-homeremedies.com/fitness/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/fit-body.jpg

This is "I spend all my time in a gym":http://www.fitness-and-muscle.com/images/fitness-muscle-magazine.jpg


That's why you train yourself to detect sudden changes in air pressure caused by the front door opening.


not the same, silly bot.


Her boyfriend owes you a beer.


**FUCK 9GAY. WE SHOULD ALL ASTRO-TURF AND FIND WAYS TO SNEAKILY LINK TO THIS ARTICLE ON 9GAY EVERY TIME WE'RE BORED OR MASTURBATE THIS SEPTEMBER.**

**ALSO, THE 9FAG ARMY ARE A BUNCH OF POOFTER 12 YEAR OLDS WHO'S DADDIES FUCKED THEM IN THE SHITTER THEN TOOK IT OUT ON COLBY.**


No you don't. I once got a frantic phone call from a friend who lived in the dorms that had the OSU elevator death: as far as I remember, a number of students all jumped at once (which students ALWAYS DO IN ELEVATORS RHGHGRH) and the elevator suddenly gave way, killing one of them who got crushed between the elevator and the doorway.


> I see you aren't bothering to dispute the other points

bro, that's exactly right. Nice.


I am glad you drew it.


Yep. Not surprised he got pulled at halftime for Navas.


http://i.imgur.com/T747H1c.gifv

http://i.imgur.com/90nwv3w.gif


> Why did we not see a huge uprising on MRA in support of Ferguson, and a culture where police brutality steals the lives of far too many men?

The officer in question was defending himself. If you don't want to get shot by the cops, don't try to murder them.


What if you dont have a job, but you completed runescape 100%. That should count for something right?


"Paul has two or three condemning passages in his books" = "The Bible's teaching shows that marriage is between a man and a woman."  I'm glad you agree.


Good point.  Our CTO, Bryan, just swapped out that useless Digg button.


> Rest in **pieces** pal

FTFY


Just wait for it to unwrap itself.


Not really, he's just doing his job poorly. He doesn't own the tampons and they aren't his to give away.


You say that as a joke, but reddit really is the reason why I think direct democracy is bullshit.  I've seen so many things on reddit ruined because of uninformed masses, easily swayed by sensationalism and *huge* confirmation bias, ruin good things.


Typical jumping to conclusions from you.


In most cultures you're expected to return the queef (to show friendship) or to out perform her (assert dominance).

[There's a Wikipedia article on it](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**Edit :**[I'm also quite involved in a political campaign please check it out.](http://instagram.com/p/Q3G9PlOK1Y)


most boring thing ever
#
do people on here actually HAVE sex?


My teacher just told me about how he beat his would be assassin so hard with his cane that people had to pull him off. He reportedly walked with a jingle because of all the bullets in him.

Andrew Jackson is like if Max Payne became president.


He's a crap therapist besides this. It's just a meme about one specific conversation, it's not meant to be representative of our entire therapeutic relationship.


my friend does that, and even reads the comments. i told him about reddit but he just said "naw this is way easier".

i guess you like what you like.


I would like to point out that it's a fucking joke so you should take the stick out of your ass.


You managed to make me blush, I hope you were hoping to get wet 'cause now it's the plank for you.


McDonalds food is basically one step above pig slop, in every conceivable sense.


"I'll just pay the fine, please."


HOW COME WEN I SAYD DAT DIS IS A SHITTY MEME DA WEDDIT DOWNBOAT ME BUT DEY UPBOAT HIM???????????? MOMMMYY WHY DOS DA WEDDIT HATE ME???????????? GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I was thinking that culling volunteers would be the best way to go too, but then I realized...we'd be artificially selecting out the most selfless people of our population.  Would that make the remaining population more likely to be selfish?


In all seriousness though, is that in any way out of line?

Some people are more attractive than others (99% of the time large women are not attractive).  This is the free market in action. I don't want to see some fat chick in a bikini posted a5round the planet, how is that a bad thing?

edit: it would appear I've offended the fat crowd with this one.  Tough shit.


"Mr. Gibbs!"

"Aye, Captn."

"You may throw my hat if you like." *hands Gibbs his hat*

"Aye aye, Captn!" *throws the hat*

"Now go and get it."


Yes... this was all content prior to commenting on *anything* about this issue.

Article submissions and comments in other places - look at my profile.


he must definitely have been a loser i_upvote_boobs.


And I'm completely fine with that.


'you will be' is also a good one


haha did you *photoshop* that blood on?


In *Toy Story*, Buzz falls into dead mode when humans are around, even though he does't believe he's a toy.


Haha.  I think ill survive.  Having negative comment karma is kind of liberating.  It removes any filters.  And with that being said, top commenter can go fuck him or herself....


Sounds mildly infuriating...but I would greatly enjoy walking up to the professor's desk and cooly correcting them with "My last name is Page" While giving them a look that heavily says *you fucking idiot*


I used to ABORT, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


I'm sure you explained it in a way that wasn't idiotic however.

Edit: OK, half of reddit hates common core and the other half hates people who say negative things about common core.


while nobody disputes this...


The lesson here is, if someone uses your credit for online gambling, wait and see if they win before calling the police.


You're welcome. Neither you nor anyone else tells me what this community is. It is what **I** say it is.

 If you don't like it here, you don't belong here. Delete your post and go wallow in your prison of fat.


So far.... Engineering. Probably Electrical Engineering.


Apparently you were offended by it or you wouldn't have called him an ass.

Get the fuck over it.


Wow. Just wow. This is the first time in forever that I read something on Reddit about my country that I thought was completely objective and fair. You were successful in giving a narrative of the history of the country that shows both sides of the story. Thank you so much! I hope there will be change, both from the people and the government.


Because all of you are retarded


No it's on NetfliXXX.


Are you really trying to tell me Skyrim has good graphics?


Is your sister Amelia Bedelia?


Your phone takes batteries?


Pianist here . PIANO!


NO HE DOESN'T!!! People need to really stop reading Ron Paul spam. He doesn't have no damn military support! I live beside a damn military base.. People think he's fucking crazy...

lmao@ People believing Ron Pauls spam he is supported by military people.. LMAO!

Yeah Iran/Syria/Venezuelan military, NOT USA.


Unfortunately, we couldn't make it work with my shooting schedule.  MAJORLY disappointed.


I am seeing a young man dessicrate our flag.

I stand by what I said.


We're just afraid that nobody cares, Apostolate.


Islamic architecture, to me, just screams "violence, misogyny, conquest!". I really cannot see the "beauty" of it.


Ever consider assigning them UUIDs?

You know, just to future-proof the problem. In case you get more moms.


I wasn't 'called out for reposting', I went above and beyond what a reasonable man would have done to prevent a repost, but I got flamed anyway. It turns out that someone posted a link to a page which had the image on it (different URL). That's fair enough. I don't care, although I'd prefer if people didn't think I just found a popular link and stuck it on reddit again. That's not cool.


Click here for Buzzfeed's "Top 10 Buzzfeed articles"!


Superfu 1-9 are sockpuppets created to spam SRS. They've posted plenty.


As if the bad guy wouldn't already have his gun cocked.


Keep drinking the kool-aid, bro.


"TAKE THE FUCKING HINT" - Thor, Son of Odin.


Good riddance. I hope her seat gets filled by a conservative.


Well ive never done heroin so im not sure how it tastes plus they shoot it up


If it were an iPhone, bullshit. But as it's a Nokia


"Whosoever pounds on this bathroom stall, if he be worthy, shall wield the power of THOR"


Ye, I thought I was the only one here who even knows what CiM is lol.


So it was You that took the username I wanted.  I had to settle for less.


fuck you guys, at least he's trying. Cardiovascularly, the differences are slim. Be glad to see a fellow fella trying to achieve greatness


Maybe they love your beard because they think you hate it and they hate you.


7.8/10 Comedic and relevant to a viral video.  Would read again before hoping in the shower in morning.


Oh you know, just study it out.


Oh these internet arguments are beautiful, You know, those "You know nothing about me.." shit?, well that doesn't apply here, My point is that I *could* easily get a sponsorship and pirate the files over.

Given that there is no defence on their part against it, I would successfully grab the files and be able to upload them elsewhere..


Thats not in the sea, looks more like a tank.


Obama calls himself Hussein.


"Oh shit boys, I got me a big one!"


That mental image is hilarious! I can just image you making whooshing noises and then instantly falling asleep! Lol


How do I change the color of blue screen of death?


###I'M HAVING A FUCKING MENTAL BREAKDOWN. STOP ATTACKING ME. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.


Oh no! How are people going to know my social status if I live well below my means?!


And yet the single port on the MacBook can do everything the ports on this dongle can do and more.


"I'd suck your dads dick just to get a taste of the recipe."

-unknown


And this too, was sarcasm


Almost definitely. The cesarean delivery rate in Brazil is one of the highest in the world - 80-90% in private hospitals!


This game looks like shit, that's why GTA is the only one.


Just look at the bottom of these comments, they are already here.


I suspect that in many cases, "zombies" are just an allegory for black people.


I imagine you eating your chicken sandwich and smiling whilst thinking "Well, I never!"


If only judging people wouldn't be so fun


Alternatively, learn to beatbox and give him a sick beat to whistle to. Then take your show on the road and make lots of money!


I heard you like source


Everyone knows person A is a lying whore


I would respect PeTA more if they actually funded and aided the ELF and ALF. I support direct action for animal liberation.


What if one guy sort of taps his foot.


No tits, just a beautiful girl. I don't see why *every* single thing has to have a NSFW tag on it.

Edit: ouch


Nope, socks and a flashlight...inside a sleeping bag.  You sure you're still not off your tits?


And yeah, it's true there are still ways to downvote posts if you really want to. But if it's too accessible, people can think : Upvote if it's a trigger, Downvote if it's not. That's what we're trying to avoid.


A lot of famous quotes are paraphrasing to give context.


Maybe the ones you've owned or maybe the company you keeps pets. Perhaps your family's? They tend to be a reflection of their owners, mate.


for the lazy : "Respect owed to one's parents and ancestors"


-1 for punchline in title.


Actual Physicist here.

Children are much more likely to survive plane crashes. This is because they weigh a lot less than adults so the plane doesn't exert as much force decelerating them when it crashes.

Either that or black magic.


You don't belong here. I'm looking for ways to prevent the urge; advice.


Reddit's top notch detective work is truly becoming legendary.


HAHA BRO-HILIO! DUDE NOT BAD MAN! SO SAD SO BAD! ITS JUST A STUPID CARTOON WITH A FAGGOTY SPONGE! GROW SOME TITS MAN! HAHA LATER BRO!


I bet you were saving this for the actual Tom Hanks IAma


WITH SOME PIG EARS. HAHA  you got me. touche.


What is even more staggering is that half a meter wet floor in front of _a_ _urinal_. How can you miss that!?! It's already the perfect height for your dick, just walk next to it and start pissing! Is every facility with urinals filled with midgets or do people compete in who can piss furthest away from it?


Yeah you're right. On the other hand we are fortunate enough to produce our own youth rather than to poach it from academies that are superior to ours. Oh wait, that's you guys.


could have gotten a yeast infection..


right because our government can do no wrong


You should place a condom on your penis.


**2002.**. LET ME REPEAT THAT FOR YOU FUCKING LOSERS.  ***2002***!!!

Wow.  Now I know where to come for decade old 'sciency' garbage.  Reddit!  **FUCK THIS SHIT.N DIGG IS WAY BETTER.**


>God I hate females.

"NessaTesla is one of those young ladies who seek to recommend themselves to the other sex by undervaluing their own; and with many men, I dare say, it succeeds. But, in my opinion, it is a paltry device, a very mean art."


No you don't. It could easily have been the other way around. "GETOFFMYWIFI" Hasn't got any proof of his theory.

There is always this one guy in the comment section with a totally different perspective on things. Doesn't necessarily mean its true.
Edit: My most down voted comment and its not going anywhere. Let the hate flow through you.


That's practically a miracle.


You may want to look the definition of the word woman before you continue arguing with me.

Women's competitions are for womens. He's not. Therefore, he's a cheater. Again : basic logic here.


Me too!

choo-choo!

edit:

HOLY SHIT


You sure you got it hun? That'd be great!


Ah, you must be talking about that non stop thing guys think of all the time every day.


Oh no, you'll have to actually describe things to get a knee jerk emotional reaction over them. That'll take like three extra seconds and people are *busy*. Why is everyone going around talking about abuse anyway?


Future president talk right there


The person who goes to a church calls someone else a tool? HA!


Better option: Send a page to all the printers that prints after the 500 page mess that says "sorry :3"


May I just add, the paint brush was firmly rammed down my japs eye and it was hard to stay erect all the time! Hence the imperfections.


yeh man. reddit doesn't have a poll feature yet because you spend too much time touching yourself at night bro


Our assets are minimal - not really necessary in our industry. They wouldn't cover much beyond legal fees.

I'd lose my job, but I can just go back to the previous type of job I did.

---

The only people that'd be hurt are all of the employees that would have to find work in a depressed area.


To the second one: Yeeeeeeeeeeeep


JIDF detected

edit:  http://i.imgur.com/yUY83.jpg


Yet they go all Pawn Stars on you when you try and sell them back

"Yeah I can do $15"


Is English your first language?


- an exerpt from sonofarex's best selling novel, "*The Redditor*".


This is why we can't have fag things. The gay shit that happens in Vegas is supposed to fucking STAY in Vegas. You iPhone packing homos are ruining it for everybody.


Haha... I have no excuse.


spend 13 years planning and designing unique game...use same launcher for demo and paid customers.


From the Dr. Pepper website: " Hot Dr Pepper was developed many years ago as a refreshing winter drink. Heat Dr Pepper in a saucepan to 180 degrees, place a thin slice of lemon in the bottom of a coffee mug or insulated cup and pour the heated Dr Pepper over the lemon."


How did 1 dying make the number increase by 4?


That was their hush-up payment.


Your nit picking of this article leads me to believe that you are pushing your agenda.


Rollercoaster?

The amount of luck he had


Someone .....please, please gild this......


That's why I arrive 10 minutes early.  It prevents cars from falling on my head.


No!  None for you!

They're all mine!!! MINEEEE!!


Imagine how bad it would be if she got raped again anyway and all that was for nothing.


ehhh.   looks like a bunch of untalented hipster hacks.

do you people realize that by supporting them you are basically saying: "I WANT TO PAY $10 MORE FOR EACH GAME SO I CAN SUPPORT THESE UNTALENTED ASSHOLES WHILE THEY GOOF OFF IN THEIR OFFICE"?


>It is possible to know a great deal of things without being formally educated about them or gaining qualifications.

Absolutely, but when you benefit from something that is essentially the same thing as formal education it is different.


**DON'T YOU FUCKING DO THAT, THAT IS NOT FUNNY.**

*cries*


Heaven? Sports? What garbage am I reading all over today!? Ok some some guy who sat and read off a piece of paper about sports scores is the talk of the world meanwhile there are serious issues with our environment, women's rights, slavery, rape, etc...This whole complex we live in is disgusting. A bunch of fucking pigs. I hope you choke on your chicken wing at your football game!


I think you might be biased.


Not all rednecks are using racial slurs nor are all racial slur users redneck. The hypocrisy of supposedly being against racism while propagating stereotypes is ironic. There are plenty of rednecks, some even being staunchly republican who are very much against the use of racial slurs and racism.


From these stories I conclude only one thing: You punched the wrong dick.


Alright now I think I'm just gonna have you take a giant step backwards and literally fuck your own ass. FACE


doing gods work, son.


Nope, I did not. Just assumed it was another boring cup holder fake story.  You do realize that a title is supposed to summarize and eye catch?  Good job at only doing one of those.


Pretty sure this exact story has been floating around the internet for almost a decade. Not to call you a liar, but I have definitely heard this exact story before on multiple humor sites and each time it features the lawnmower bit.


yeah man thats what birth control is for... what if one day you change your mind or meet someone who really wants a kid. I think getting snipped down there is selfish and immature, bro.


"No it sucks, don't fucking buy it."


Eat a bag of shit. These guys are the reason you can sit at your computer and look at NSFW all day.

Edit: Eat a bag of smashed assholes.


And 1995 people would be like, "Hell no, 10 years ago was 1985"


Why would I care? It's not like this website is that popular.


I wasn't on board until this comment.


and that's transphobic

have a nice day :)


>will last hundreds of uses

Thousands.


There is no excuse to not at least know how many inches are in a foot.


Good God is there anything not to love about Chris Pratt?


In theory, yeah, but they wouldn't do it over something like this.

EDIT: I've never seen straight up logic downvoted so harshly.  This sub must be occupied by mostly women who can only think on emotion and not logic.


This is strangely specific knowledge.


Well maybe if you weren't such a dumb-ass bitch then you would remember to fill up your car with gas. But nope, sounds like you're the worst mother in the world. Just always looking for a handout and expecting the world to owe you everything. If you call Lowe's to complain on them you are just as much a retarded scumbag as the people who work there. Now please just stfu and gtfo.


You'll look like an avatar for weeks.


I can't buy a Tomcat fighter jet, so I'm just going to steal one!

Oh wait...


Those are all things a looping video would do.


what you did there... i see it.


Tell us in a few months what your mom thought of it.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hoHds88Slk

Edit: what's with the DOWNVOTES? It's from the same school of joke! Has no one seen Ghostbusters on reddit?


'Shot to shit' with Sean Bean


I shit you not, I logged in just to up vote this.


Pussy pass confirmed.

Want to feel better? Head over to /r/pussypassdenied


Not sure where you're getting anger or aggression from and I'm not interested enough to get any further into it so we're just going to have to disagree. You think sexual jokes involving kids are funny, I don't. Luckily, I get the feeling you guys are teenage boys not adults or parents so hopefully that changes once it matters.


HAVE YOU READ TWILIGHT?


LOL.  Can I have some of what you're on? It's only fair to share!


**F** — is for **F**ire, that burns down the whole town
**U**'s for **U**ranium — *bombs*!
**N** is for **_N_**_o Survivors_, when you're —


How isn't a phallic shaped paper clip a flaw ? That could trigger scores of women who are rape survivors and cause them immense psychological damage.


I'm not gonna lie.. I was a little shaken.


I am rubber u r glue!


/r/atheism almost never contributes cats.


Not everyone is born into situations as fortunate as yourself, but everyone is given the chance to advance, and see the Light of Jesus Christ!


I will fucking smite you.


What could the victim have done differently?

**NOT FUCKING RUN**

The media totally fucking overhypes and manipuates **every little thing** to make even a small bar fight sound worse than filming child pornography.


TIL It is possible to fuck up spaghetti.


Wow, what you describe is great deal more serious than what OP described.  What happened to you is unambiguously rape.

It's not clear what happened in OP's case.


My lady bits did the same.

And I'm a dude.


remember to immediately dismiss unpopular opinions as trolling so you feel better about your safe and happy little world.


HAHA! You just made my day. The fact that you went and did this even if you end up not following through. Although, it would overjoy me if you do decide to trick him!! I wish I could give you gold so hard right now. So. Hard.

Reddit on, /u/VaginalHubris86!


TYL: Jordan scored 63 points on Larry Bird in his Sophomore year. DAMNNN Larry Bird what were you doing?!


Those typos will edit right out.  I know a guy who can do it for cheap.  I'll get you his card.  If you mention you saw the post here he can cut you a deal.


Ouch... down voted for not wanting to piledrive my SO with my sensitive 9 year old nephew in the very next room. Didn't feel like it was my duty to accelerate the facts of life talk his dad wants to have with him a few years from now.


I don't think you have to be into that to get one in there


Cant believe this is buried. She does have a pituitary gland issue. She was legitimately skinny in high school, she didnt over eat, her hormones are out of whack. The show is stupid... but so are all of you in this thread.


Video games are a basic human right!!

/s


It's the little things, really. Like "*This toxin gets absorbed by your liver first. It doesn't really matter that some other things cause kidney failure first.*"

It's always funny to see people argue with you about things that you know better than them.


No, that's a great date. You learned everything you needed to learn about her in just one evening. Some people wind up married before they figure out that much about a person.


look, if i didn't/couldn't move out, i would make something up too. do you have his medical records?


Me too, I wrote "roses are red, violets are blue, don't rub icy hot on your dick"

Got an F and a "come see me" note

Bear in mind this was in the late '70s....


... an essential part of your aspergers treatment? or do you literally confuse AM and PM?


Seriously, what a little asshole.  Bankrupting them with his milkshake habit


It's pretty fucking obvious that it's a brain. You don't need to point it out.


With a name like theirs, I'd be careful.


It wasn't really meant as a question, he is very special.


Do people poop? I feel like pooping in front of my gender is awkward enough that adding in another gender would permanently constrict my anus, not to be graphic.


Was?  Sure for a half season.  Are you saying Arshavin IS a great player?  He absolutely is NOT.


If this had been a reply in /r/WritingPrompts, it would've hit the front.


> Being able to take advantage of a girl is not a turn on.

Well, that's just your opinion, man.


Either OP needs to start up the business that drinks this business mikkshake ... or artificially slow his not to enter 150 per day.


I thought it was a little retarded... Whats wrong with me?


First I laughed. Then I realized: *I'm white and I eat a sandwich pretty much every day.*


You're an ignorant fool, keep taking the classes. When learning a skill to save your life its a good idea to learn it as well as possible.


That's some evil genius shit right there.


Only if I get to try to escape by climbing out of a pit and then save Gotham.


I agree 100%.. also what angered me, was Andrew Silvernail's comment. They are sitting here bashing a guy, while also talking about how diablo3 was such a huge sale success, but it only sold so much, because of the work the man they are bashing did.


support a team who's consistently been in the champions league for the last decade and a half instead


I've had more blood on my dick than Jerry Sandusky.


You've never been nervous?


At last! have you heard from the sparrow-prince?


"Yeah, I know your friend just died and all, but where can I swoop that sweater from? You look great!"

Totally appropriate.


because OP is a faggot


Googledocsmasterrace


Ah,  parce que ceci

> T’as-tu eu d’la misère à trouver ‘a place? Ch’t'icitte depuis une demi-heure!

aidera grandement les apprenants à élargir leurs horizons ?


bout to bring streaking to a whole new meaning


You should sick my dick.


Well no shit, the point is to get it *in* the goal.


Pornhub's makin millions by playing Reddit like a fiddle. Pander, pander, pander. Good thing you're above it all!


Never been to 4chan I assume?


Please explain: what is heroic about murdering strangers thousands of miles away?


People monitoring security cameras probably live for shit like this.


God damn you beat me to it.


I know, I love that about the internet.


Reddit gains thousands of readers every day. I wait long enough that my awesome links are new to bunches of people.


Hitler, Stalin, Freud, Tito and Trotsky went into a bar. "I vant a weissbier" said Hitler. "I will hev a drink as cold as gulag with lots of ice, Tito and Trotsky will have the same" said Stalin. Then Trotsky said "Actually I didn't want *ice*, but I guess no one *axed me*".

Something something, tell me about your relationship with your mother, something something, Tito sounds like tits.


Hahaha, his dad is not "huge" by American standards. #ObesityEpidemic


"Hey sexy how about we find somewhere more private?"

"YOU CAN'T HAVE MY KIDNEYS!"


no, I hate the system that allows them to own so much when others are starving.


Apparently she is giving a "seductive look" to her team mate. It lasts for literally less than a second. This is a pretty desperate attempt to turn a completely normal, non-sexual situation into "OMG HOT LESBIANS!"


I will get downvoted, but I'm not into skinny asses.  Yes, she's got a pretty face; yes, I would fuck her; no, I'm not into thin girls; yes, go fuck yourself if you have a problem with me.


I think it's imporant to say that attractiveness is individual and subjective. Attractive (to the individual) + good personailty = relationship.


Downvotes? Man ya'll as sensitive as Aubrey lol soft as golfer sweaters. It was a joke and who cares about about a bubble gum rapper


Yeh, I call bullshit.
Skinning a warm dog is going to melt the edge of that blade pretty quick and skinning a frozen dog, not gonna happen.


See, that's funny because he has also been invisible at a WC.


here i sit, thinking about some kind of ass to vagina scissoring stuff. i might be retarded

EDIT: obligatory my top comment is about asses and vaginas edit


And this confirmed it for me. Only trolls bother actually answering accusations of trollery.


The interesting part is wondering if they were handicapped before or after getting into extreme sports.


How does it NOT make sense?


Not an issue. I was more concerned with dying


2 Muslims do something stupid. Now 200,000,000 people have justification for their racism. Sigh.


Actually he's put the entire world's population in prison.


Valid question but it's been asked and answered 500 times :s


>train sailed

lol


I find that every class is actually extremely boring to play.  Elementalist was the only one that was slightly interesting, but getting one shot repeatedly has killed that.  And that's why I've quit the game already.  Compared to WoW, this game is pretty terrible.


Get a willing senior student to be his buddy/mentor once or twice a week.  They do this sometimes at my school, and it can really make a difference.


Before, all she needed was a piano and a voice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKZ5XSKRBJ0

Her new stuff is all over-produced, generic kind of pizzle.


As a scientist, there are lots of idiots with a PhD around. Specific technical knowledge doesn't prevent overall stupidity.

Edit: yep, my highest ranking post is detracting my own class. Noice.


Blacks were tricked into thinking apartheid was good for them much like women have been tricked into thinking hetrosexual relationships are good. But they're both lies made up by men to enslave.


Glaring omission: Unknown knowns. Things we don't know that we know.

They're the ones that get you.


They were going to add one, but they took an arrow to the knee.


I imagine your experiences were something like [this.](http://hereticalnotions.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/neo-wakes.jpg)


#LOLBLACKPEOPLECOMMITCRIMES


Sounds like that mother was in D-nial.


No, it wasn't. His original complaint was about originality.


THIS^

You don't just "lose" 15 billion dollars. That shit is stashed all over the place. Mutual funds, bonds, stocks in other companies, real estate, possessions, investments, Cayman Island and Swiss accounts. How the fuck does someone just "lose" 15 billion and nobody says..."wait a second."

edit: I guess if I could believe Maggie Gyllenhall was attractive....


Good for you. Artificial chemical highs in enclosed spaces surrounded by strangers is much more emotionally and socially fulfilling than an evening of games, stimulating conversation, and laughter with a couple close friends.


Or called the Police on him.


Eh, its in the past. I haven't even done that to him or anyone else in a while. Everything is cool.


Oh Shit! This guy's elbow is blind!


put down the fork and start running fatty


I think I will put him as an intern to test his skills, then I will determine if he is qualified to standards.


> Was pretty hard to see that one cumming...
**FTFY**


The Canadians then apologize for making Americans listen.


ಠ_ಠ ...`digg`


I think OP is one of those people that thinks all hispanics are mexicans.


If you don't get upvoted to the moon then I've lost faith in the system.


And I don't need a bag for my blue mountain dew and cigarettes, but by christ I get asked if I want one every time.

Edit: Someone anonymously spent money on me. That's fucking awesome, thank you whoever you are.


Downvote ALL the comments!


Agreed. Friends are people who *stop* people spiking your drinks.   Bunch of cunts.


yes, there is. game still got pirated a lot. which is sad, as it is great game.

thats why i support SOPA and ACTA and other things reddit hivemind are too scared to accept because they are internet warriors with neckbeards and some spare ~20kgs of fat


Most mods here, *especially* most of the mods on larger subreddits, tend to be great at what they do. However, due to the way reddit voting works and due to its demographic, (frequently baseless) claims about "mod abuse" get voted up and get lots of attention. There are even subreddits that are devoted exclusively to encouraging anti-mod mobs.

Don't buy into the hype. Most mods are awesome.


Hmm.. that might be it.  I forget sometimes that people don't like being called stupid, no matter how true it is.


He injured himself this one time, his parents knew why he was frustrated.


Prepare for down votes!   No group is more grossly indoctrinated and militantly ignorant of their negative effect on society than American gun nuts.  Any criticism whatsoever will result in a backlash of unrelated facts and blind adherence to a pointless amendment that "was a good idea at the time it was written".


especially if youre buying a gift for someone special :|


Wrong. Women aren't hypocrites when we come to this, guys are. Nothing that girl said was cringe.


You ever played pac man?


It's complicated. We've been together for a long time and I want to see what else is out there. I know that makes me sound like less than a saint, but I would NEVER cheat on my boyfriend or otherwise do something to intentionally hurt him. To be clear, I love him very deeply (even though I don't think that necessarily means we are a good couple).


Why do the Patriots support drunk driving?!?!?!?  DUI-GATE ENGAGED!


Obligatory comment about not using the word moba.


Goats can't drive. Their hind legs are too short to reach the pedals.


*necessarily you cunt.


That's all well and good, but do antibiotics kill viruses?


(1) First time on this site, actually, and

(2) I am female, so I'll take "cunt" in stride, but will have to beg out on testicular torsion.

(3) From one girl to another, I think it's better that she know about this now than be cornered by a sweaty man, reeking of heroin and raw meat, breathing on her glasses (as the case may be.)


Similarly, **DO NOT THROW WATER INTO A PAN OF BOILING/BURNING OIL. YOU WILL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN**


Indeed. Go back to Digg, brah.


You forgot to mention that the plane is somehow incapacitated. Just saying.


Stfu, come up with something original in your pathetic little sheep life.


Well Larry King's been alive forever, so everyone's young in comparison. The dude's immortal.


Really? I gave him a downvote for the edit despite the good content. We have enough cuntbags around here without encouraging them.


One time I was going to put [serious] in my /r/askreddit title, but then my dad ran into my room and beat me with a set of jumper cables.


Can we stop this circle jerk already?


I get that sensation from my AT&T contract.


wow, do you suck your own dick too?


Why would you keep trying for less time? What good would the money be to a dead guy


poor guy?

no.

eat less.


Only in the real world, back at home. I did join a two girl party ( two girls and one guy), for free once, just because I was horny and already in the room. The customer did not complain.


How so?
It's not a gif I'd want to open at my workplace, but since there's no nudity or anything involved, I consider it quite tame.


When I realized they were actually there, the first thing I asked was what time is it. I started screaming at them, telling them that they are crazy and that they will be late to their own wedding. They were incredibly relaxed and the bride told me these exact words "don't worry they can't start without us anyway".


Oke our community must be mostly African and are picking on white boy who likes to use F bombs and N bombs during his hobby. And I am letting everyone know that I am gay and when someone will mention that something or someone is gay I will also demand that person to loose his/her job right?


now i just really wanna microwave K-Y Jelly...


ERMAHGERD, QUERT BERRNG SERR GERD DERM JERLLER


OOPS, MY BAD, SEND ME YOUR INFO AGAIN SO I CAN MAKE SURE YOU GET IT! !!


there's not enough information to make an assessment like this.  details are sparse and its too early to tell who was in the wrong.  for all we know, it could have been murder.  it may also seem that simply drawing the weapon may have fended off further assault, but that's just my assumption.


I used to do this with my hamster. She loved it! http://i.imgur.com/0YUIo.jpg


How is it righteous for a cop to slap someone?  The post would be better suited for /r/bad_cop_no_donut


I find this myth... *claws*ible.


There's a good game on every system you idiot that doesn't make it a great system


As if giving the shitty controller to your friend wasn't bad enough.


lets not exaggerate here

 lol


Upvoted for creepiness


It's so fucking ironic that the tree-hugging liberals of reddit are modding down that i'm pointing out that this dumb broads stupid stunt is causing the waste of 25 bottles of good medication.


Or they started a crack habit.


Why is this downvoted? I liked the sarcasm.


A freaking mod deleted it and said it wasn't a "big enough deal" for IAMA.  Him being bad luck brian wasn't a big enough deal.


Typical European opinion. You need to qualify for Season 2 World Championships so you can play against Toyz or Misaya in mid lane and get shut down by AD Carries like Cpt Jack or WeiXiao in late game. All players on a similar level as Froggen and Alex Ich. For Europe I'd agree that these 2 players are likely the best but Asia is big.


Great for the girl, too. Everyone you're interested in is hard and ready to go!


Because all caps was so necessary.


haaahaaaaaaaheeehaaaaa surprise ending

Edit: I can't believe this is my most upvoted comment. I'm disappointed in myself.


anyone else then me think that this guy should get killed for coming in the comments section in the hope to find a little girl photoshopped in a fucking jew picture ? ... i mean c'mon la

**upvote to say so**


My SO's first language is German, and he sometimes speaks it in his sleep. I got a little translation book to find out what he's saying. He calls me 'my little cabbage' in German.


He's such a Fuck boy it's not even funny, it's sad how he sticks up for Amberrose and threw wiz under the bus. He's a gossiping lil bitch, yes he knows his hip-hop but he breaks so many man laws.  There's something so weak about him. He's the opposite of C tha god who calls him rosey bitch


So, you work for mint.com?


Men are there to get a certification and/or learn.

Women are there to find a man.

STEM is hard - why would they want to do that - for that matter, why would it be beneficial to encourage people to pursue the fields involved that aren't dedicated for life to them?


I hope you call him brown bear.


if i put the letters in the art that would be putting shame to his artwork, i never took any credit for his work nor will i ever, saw the picture pretty much loved it and designed a champion based around it, if this idea doesnt get scrapped he can have all the credit in the world for champion art.


My dodge and I found the new Avacar, a ford named Taurus.


I suppose if you live by the sword, you die by the sword.  But that doesn't mean that we should condemn someone to a possible death when there was a solution to the problem that worked out much better for all involved.


Because we're listening to his side of the story.


You deserve upvotes. That comment was wonderful


I would buy anything you tried to sell me


I dont understand this candlejack thing, can someone please ex


And a fucking partridge in a pear tree.


Regardless, saying that someone in that situation should be flattered is idiotic.


Sweet site. I found this after 15 minutes of being "lost"... (NSFW) http://imgur.com/ArP9V4C


Wow thats some serious money. He got very lucky, I just checked and dragon lores run about $400 right now. Not bad for an item in a $15 game lol


One of those moments where the very fabric of human interaction momentarily disintegrates.


The one that I linked to was not a request. He actually was a member of Cage the Elephant.


She could have actually made a very decent fortune having rights to Manson's corpse.


Was the equals sign really necessary?


I don't have kids and I am not married. I never plan on having kids. I plan on leaving it to my immediate family and donating to charity. I also want to commission the building of schools in third world countries. I am very young tho so that is far away, hopefully.


Only if you are doing it without the taxes and resist being arrested for it when you have been arrested for that very crime multiple times before


And I thought manic pacing while on the phone was weird. I'll have to try this.


As it happens I do even lift!


In America, we think most European media is full of naked women, and thanks to the labor laws over there, they have the time to play with Legos.


Fuck.  You guys hit a shitty little subreddit and suddenly every one of my comments are hitting close to -100.

And yet my comment karma has gone up to 18.  It was -9 before you bombed me.  What's that about?

Also I'm giving out free I will rape you PMs for a limited time.  Act now, I only have the strength to rape for so long.


There are more people subscribed to PewDiePie than Jewish people.


I don't no. maybe they have undiagnosed diabetes and are very thirsty.


I see what you did there.


You know it to be true.


Amoxicillin and such. Mostly for husband who has Lyme's disease. We can't afford our monthly health care rates. We are 30somethings in the US. Really feel like a "bottom feeder".


Less money to the ACLU, more money to the common sense fund.

In particular, donate to the Campaign for Awareness of How Fucking Absurdly Dumb It Is To Get Prom Cancelled For Everyone While You Are In High School Because You Are A Lesbian And Then Calling In The ACLU When All You Had To Do Was Straighten Up For A Night, Ho


I recall when this was originally posted, the OP said it was at a hospital.


might as well post the whole fucking script if we're going to take a trip down memory lane.


I think we already knew this.


Can't show what you ain't got.

Edit:
Fuck it i'll down vote myself.


And they do it with a budget that is less than what McDonalds uses to advertise happy meals to kids!

EDIT: My apologies, I was wrong. When I heard that statistic they were talking about the education budget (which is still sad.)

This is the best source I could find. https://plus.google.com/109036978092446954908/posts/GJSD3YdF3SK


I agree, moderators on reddit should take things much more seriously, especially when a thread is vote-brigaded by a well known, SPLC certified hate site, such as r/mensrights.


Jesus dude we're just joking calm down.


No Republicans want to establish a religion.  You are all hysterical morons.


Well, it certainly didn't raise the roof.


Yeah, please use humor to cover up being a gigantic creep. That totally works.


I took a shower after I posted it.


why do you hope for this and why the fuck do you care about community building?


take a photo of the bathroom location, so you can make some sopy shit soup there later.


**THANK GOD.  THIS BITCH IS TRULY WORTHLESS**

**I HOPE SHE DIES IN HER OFF TIME**

**MAYBE GET RUN OVER BY A BOAT ON VACATION LIKE KIRSTY MACCOLL**


Mark, get out of this forum!


Ice cream and cake do go together :3


Why? The one year anniversary of winning would be celebrated with him escaping a mental ward and somehow finding out where you live and killing everyone you've ever met ever.


Why the fuck? I was just saying it was funny.


As a journalism student, I clearly need to re-think my life choices. &#3232;\_&#3232;


I'm not about to get coached on my demeanor by a nigga like you. Don't try to clean your shit up because you realized I'll smack that backpack off of you.


But then who would drive the ship?


Stop defending a rape apologist.


And uh, using a [picture of the Carrizo Plain in California](http://www.hoax-slayer.com/god-spilled-paint.shtml) for [Kermanseh](http://i.imgur.com/gGJRL.jpg).


Seriously, and ship 'em back where they came from and wait 'til they get in a war and come crying to America to help them out. On a side note, dibs on the daughter. Sorry for the rage comment.

EDIT: I know I was way out of line saying this. Deleting it will just make me a bitch, downvote all you want, at least check out the discussions this sparked.


First rule of comedy shows: Never sit in the front row.

Glad this story turned out so well.


Is your life that pathetic you have to you feel insecure when people want to let someone have fun without hating themselves? I'm not sure if I feel worse for you or for the man in the post. Go ahead and ban me for sympathizing with your petty life. Its the only real power you could ever lord over anyone.


I'll just trust reddit to get me the appropriate screen caps.


just like he raped la liga...oh wait


Hippocrates had nothing to do with this. Leave him out of it.

Edit: In my search to make fun of stupid, I did a stupid.


That would be a 1st im sure you jack your penis to your own voice


I understand agreeing to tattoo a drunk person if they come into your shop, but actually bringing a tattoo machine *to* drunk people seems ridiculously irresponsible.


Hey, any "bitch" is entitled to put her arms around me.


yeahhhh, your 'friend'!


Smoke- you keep using that word I do not think it means what you think it means.

It's vapor/ vaporizing/vaping.


***HEY EVERYONE UPVOTE ME FOR EVERY UPVOTE I GET ON THIS COMMENT I WILL DONATE $.50 TO CANCER AND AFRICA. AND FOR EVERY 100 UPVOTES I GET I WILL ADD $10 DOLLARS ON TOP OF THE $50.*** --------> ***HELP KILL CANCER AND AFRICA UPVOTE THIS COMMENT NOW***

pay it forward YOLO


Yeah, all of those witnesses sure did a lot of good. What a bunch of worthless cunts.


With RES you can repeatedly hit j and z to downvote the dozens of other people saying this same thing lower in the thread.

Edit: missed a word.

Edit 2: Feed me your downvotes! So delicious!


I don't know if I can fap that long.


Why do i have to ELI5. Obviously not. But if FUCKING 17% OF ALL 7 FOOTER PLAY PROFFESIONAL BASKETBALL WHY IS IT THAT I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT THE BIGGEST FACTOR BY MILES  THAT DECIDES IF YOURE GONNA BE A SUCCESFULL BASKETBALLPLAYER IS HEIGHT AND NOT TALENT?


I'm from the US and what is this madness


Don't be sad, we still have amazing talents like Justin Beiber and Snooki. /s

I'm not sure why this is being downvoted. I'm a big Paul Walker and FF fan. I went to see FF 1, 2, 4, 5, 6 in the theater opening weekend.


I am a big fan of "wat", not like "wat r u doing" but more like:

"I just ate three pounds of cookie dough"

"wat"

It has a different meaning than "what?".


Comments like yours make it obvious how you know nothing you are talking about.


I musta had me about 15 of them Dr Peppuhs.


Well I did 3 of them on your list..... oh well


I have the weirdest bahner right now


Provide specific details please.  I do not have issue with him objecting to the MULTIPLE recounts demanded.  One recount, fine, but Democrats wanted recounts over and over again until they got the numbers they wanted.  It was ridiculous.


35 year old wage slave here. Feeling pretty down, all of the sudden.


That armor is awesome? That WOMAN IS HOT! What's wrong with you!


The secret is to just turn it inside out.


Nnnnnnoo you don't, I'm not complaining about some people downvoting, though that is worse enough, I'm complaining about actually more people downvoting than upvoting a legitimate strategy discussion.


I just had a vivid image of being chased by a T-Rex, dressed like Jesus.

*He can't see me if I dont sin*


dealt a terrible hand? lol what like seven-duece offsuit?

Note: for those who dont understand the ref, it's a texas holdem poker ref..


That one does seem to be somewhat age dependent because of biology.


whole DayZ is with basic lighting /textures, so your comment doesnt make sense. it will be shit game like it was shit mod.


r/TIFU is basically FML


I laughed quite hard. The ending is fucking hilarious.


Their fanbase is so bad that many communities now have them officially labeled as a gang. I don't think that can be topped.


Oh noes! I got downvoted, its not worth thinking ever again! :(


Great job, Dennis.

Edit: Hey dudes is it because of the implication? I'm not sure yet. I'll need a few dozen more opinions.


No this is a pure WTF of luxurious Amerikkkan convenient cluelessness to it's own vile evil putrid white mindedness>That's not WTF, it's a classic piece of children's literature.


Your comment leads me to believe you're not a middle school kid who has never touched a real woman.

Everyone else, she's naked, get over it.


I find this chilling. Funeral wreaths in the entire country are sold out? The propaganda ministers of the country managed to mobilize the collective sentiment of a billion people to sell out every single funeral wreath in every single store in the country? That's an unnerving amount of power.


We can hold one here!  I'll start.

Sure, Apple has a higher price, but you're also getting the best operating system in the world.


all this tupac/biggy bullshit; next thing we know this doofus here will get some sort of affirmative action scholarship and write some crap about how/why hip hop is the best thing ever like this bullshit here http://www.amazon.com/The-Anthology-Rap-Adam-Bradley/dp/0300141904


I got this. Foreign students in a local university, who have all told their family and friends back home they have an american (replace with w/e country you're in) boyfriend. Decide to work together to trick the people back home by getting a random average guy to pose in pictures with them. Treat him to a nice dinner.


Meh, wrong subreddit to try to argue facts. Enjoy the circlejerk.


I need to go to bed.  I just googled sandalwood in an attempt to smell it.


my christmas wishlist: apostolate kills himself.

THATS ALL I FUCKING WANT, SANTA!!!


There's 5.9 Vatican's per square pope in the mile.


What if he was a jerk?


"We're not arguing, we're learning."


Write a sentence that expresses anything and get back to me.


What an awkward and boring comment.


Reddit hates it when you are right


The only thing I find creepy is the fact she can go long periods of time without blinking


"Sorry for your family's loss" ? Really ? The guy died almost 60 years ago for fuck's sake.


That is hilarious!  My daughter asked me if my vagina had ever farted.  I was trying to think of the best reply but before I could answer she retorts "mom, you gotta try it.  It's the best feeling ever!". Oh the hilarity that ensued.


It was a rhetorical question actually.


signing up as potential nephew. My perks include:

- Hugs when visiting

- Cards every major holiday event

- Has access to a car (can take you to shopping)

- Gifts for you every bday (can arrange for xmas)

- No ungrateful looks

- Has a dog (everybody loves dogs)


I wasn't referring to what he did in the ring I was referring to the way he acted with merchant I probably know more than you.


Aren't the big ones like that supposed to be left alone for reproduction purposes?


I like to call it being a High Achiever.


A wife is reading in bed when her husband appears in the doorway with a duck under his arm.

"This is the pig that I fuck when you're not in the mood."

"That's a duck, you idiot."

"I wasn't talking to you."

**NOTE:** This is not my submission of a clean joke. I only recite it here because it's similar to the monkey joke.


Get back to snark or I firebomb your house.


yeah why is no one questioning this? Is this normal? Where am I?  What is going on?!?!


lmao you must be a thirsty ass virgin if you're horny enough to fap to disgusting garbage like this. poor kid


Anyone who speaks ill of thefrogman can go eat a grilled dick sandwich.


I take issue with the word "cross" in any organization. It shows the philosophy of organized religion.


I use the same term when I search for porn.


I did Nazi that coming.


POTATO_IN_MY_ANUS: ORIGINS


smug bitches getting cock rammed up in their asses gives me massive bonners


Shhhh... let him have this one.


if they can tell you how it works they can write it themselves


Dude, you never raw dog a random.


I'm a consumer. I have a 16GB iPhone. I use it for several hours every day. It works fine for me.

Would I like more storage? Sure. Was it still worth the price I paid? Worth more than some Samsung garbage with twice the capacity? Hell yes.


She's seen his 52 inch putter.


FTFU

Q: Tyrannosaurus Rex the Tyrannosaurus Rex straight-up eats a motherfucker. (Instant death)

W: Tyrannosaurus Rex the Tyrannosaurus Rex roars. Shit's scary, yo. (Instant death)

E: Tyrannosaurus Rex the Tyrannosaurus Rex stomps on everything. (Instant death)

R: A meteor falls on the battlefield. Everyone dies except Twitch and Wukong. Nobody wins. (+7.4 per everyone gets buttmad)


I'm gonna need you to enhance that comment.


You sound just like all his correspondents - the same typos and idle threats (although I guess you could call the internet your playground).  But at least your complaint is valid if true.


Shat.

Wait, fuck, that's not right.


That's what I'm doing.


So, if Trapped_in_Reddit, is a program...the program really is trapped in reddit?


To quote the Honorable Eric Heffer of Liverpool in reference to then Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher: "You stupid woman."


what the fuck kind of school did you go to?


...you were excited for an immature game for teenagers?


That sounds much better than it being used to prevent roofies, because, it's a horrible way to prevent roofies.


The fact that you took a picture with the intent to post it to reddit already proves you're a faggot.


Christopher SpelledwithaK Reilly


Not really "New". Not sure why everyone is having an orgy over this


I used to post in that sub. There are a lot of "I'm the best mom in the world and you suck at raising a child" type of people there. I quickly noped the fuck out of there as well.


I'm not sure how that's relevant. I mean sort of.


Yes. We should all aim to cheat in the spirit of the track suit/bucket of chicken lady. Bless her.

Edit: I think [Ron](http://imgur.com/tVWbQ) would approve.


YAWN! So bored of these replies.


Except that's not how depression works. At all.


Lose everything in a literal sense? Are you wishing me death, just because our opinions differ? That sounds much like Mr. Bin Laden's arguments...


Until bring your child to work day.
Boss: "So, uh drizzle you gonna bring your kid tomorrow?"
You: "NO, MY DAUGHTER GOT SICK WITH TESTICULAR CANCER!"
Boss: "Oh, well I'm sorry".
You: "HER TESTICLES ARE ON FUCKING FIRE!!!".

THat's how I imagine the conversation would go.


Are you saying I've never been offered a cigarette, or that cigarettes are not easily available in my area? Because they are, and I resist the urge to buy them everytime, like most people. Why aren't we all celebrating?


Happy Birthday to the ground.


She is selfish, this is absolutely unacceptable.  First off, you are the man.  It is your job to keep order.  If she gets pissy when you talk about it, tell her tough fucking shit.  You need to stand up for yourself, firmly, and explain it whether she wants to hear it or not.  You need to make it clear that this aggression will not stand, man.


The teenage hispanic community will miss you


##>2002
##>Classic gaming

Fuck you nigger.


Not really.  When we do get to Mars they'll be picked up, brought home, and live like KINGS in the Smithsonian.

At least that's what I think.

AAAnd [the folks at NASA hope so too!](http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/ybmmh/we_are_engineers_and_scientists_on_the_mars/c5u3eyp). <3


Stäng av WoW nu och häng med i det politiska klimatet och den skeva debatten.


My ex boyfriend won a kids essay contest when he was 10 years old.  He went with his mother to collect the prize.

There was an older white woman there that told him, "You are a credit to your race, young man."   He wasn't old enough to perceive the slight, and trying to be polite he responded, "Thanks, ma'am, so are you!"

The woman was taken aback, much to his mother's delight.


It's fucking retarded


> he is a founding member of the avengers, I have no idea why marvel didn't put him in the avengers to begin with

Because his name is Ant-Man.


If you have to force the memory leak then its less of a problem huh?


This would be like an American getting drunk and waking up in Oklahoma.


lol nah dude, hes saving his own ass
Edit: nope, nevermind read the article


I'm always thinking of Mike Rowe.


i want to say that wizards wanted to bump msrp from 10 to 20 per back so 360 seems just a little low if there are 36 packs in mm like regular sets


That hot chocolate sounds AMAZING. Much better than the powder mix crap that my store sells. Customers think it's fresh....nope, just hot water and powder


That weighs on me. I know its wrong. I didn't do any of this with malice in my heart. It happened and spiraled out of control. I hope for Ellen's sake too that this never comes out. Their family doesn't deserve this. Please just don't act like I did this on purpose.


Because it's coded so poorly.


Diet soda drinks are the cause of more blindness in the world than anything else. Fact.


>Not a redneck, he actually lived up in Northern USA

Redneckedness is not based on locale. It is a state of neck.


I am positive it's not anything to do with locks

*Yes this appears to be what it is. Sorry for being so dismissive before.


> A bartender inside the venue has said to TV2 News that the perpetrator used a machine gun and yelled something in a language he did not understand.

Could be Danish.


Is that some kind of blond joke?


Yeah, like for me, the only weapon I have is smugly whining about things online. So I do that.


Just thought you should know, you're tagged in my RES as "Bigiiiiii!"


2058.

Queen Elizabeth II reigns. People are getting suspicious.


>It's for attention.

"Attention to what?" is what you have to ask yourself.


What if they're ass pennies?


Between that and the reaction of the man in the car when his wife was shot, I was blown away by the AI in the demo.  The game looked amazing to me, but the world looked even more amazing.  This and The Last of Us are the two new IPs I'm most looking forward to.


If you don't like it, wait until it's over to tweet. Just like waiting until you get your food to complain about the service.

If you have to complain as soon as you are unhappy, we will spit in your food and kick you out of our concerts.


Haha guess who got the last laugh?

Not your widowed grandmother.

Edit: Holy shit I'm sorry that was awful

Edit2: Thanks for the gold now I don't feel so dirty


this shit is weird and strange.. KEEP YOUR FUCKING MONEY and buy yourself a pizza or save your money ...  and anyone who would take this weirdo up on a pizza is a loser ...


the jew is strong in that one.


lol I think she did

nasty little slut too, making me all wet


As one of Gauguin's great great great grandkids, I can verify that his family doesn't hold him in particularly high regard.


fuck that, you are wrong, that is awesome


But... that might actually work...


You are addressing completely different things. Her looks are the sole reason for 90% of her upvotes and it still looks incomplete, I see no downstem and it's still filled with vodka to the top. The funny thing is you find it important enough to talk about still.


And that prize is only a framed picture of a cat.


Boo-hoo.

Edit after mayhem of highly trained downvoting bots: Don't hate the player. Hate the game.


Two weeks later she asked me to propose again, then she said no again and laughed in my face


That fucking girl knows how to play to her strengths.


Obviously your wife is a man.


You shouldn't be so uptight.


Can we get a motha-fuckin round of applause?


That's a bold strategy, let's see if it pays off for him.


You have to shoot him on the spot.


Just about lost it in line at subway at that


I doubt their pussy is as tight as they say it is!


You paid $10 for one of the best tweaks every made. You should be happy you got it for a year.


If you think food stamps for the poor are handouts and tax cuts for the rich aren't, you might have Romnesia.


Yes, that's who I meant. And she never said anything about that night bothered her, that was my point. She's suddenly seeing an issue where there wasn't one before.


Learn everything you can about the Ford Windstar and explain that you're an enthusiast and have 20 of them.


Are you living under a rock? It's all over the news and internet.


Am french, can confirm, was there.

Fuck you muricans.


Yeah, it's sexist of me to point out insensitivity and bigotry in white males, but it's just fine and dandy when calling women bitches/whores and slut shaming them hits the front page every day?


You're telling me you could have been in *TWO* holes that night?


you ain't gon' do shit. fuck off.


Please tell me he played on the basketball team


Fucking seriously /r/pics? You're upvoting a one-word irrelevant post that wasn't intended to be content?

EDIT: I honestly don't understand why I'm getting downvoted.


You're personally responsible for this. Don't try to deny it.


All you did was just prove him right. This is why we Americans look down on many European countries. You put your feelings above your principals like an animal would. You then abused your power to shut out a person who says things that offend you. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

EDIT: Wow and you banned me too. Got what a butthurt little pussy you are.


Maybe this is self-evident, but she might want to use some solvent first to remove the remnants of the first failed glue attempt, correct?


I tend to let things bake for an hour or two before taking remedial action.


You should probably turn the brightness up on your monitor.


You can almost see him turn red from flexing his leg muscles so hard.


It may seem a bit dodgey but no i assure you it's legit.  I'm an xbox guy anyhow. Potatoes gonna potate.


I'm conflicted about this.

On one hand, you legitimately freaked the fuck out of two people, especially considering all the psychos in the city.

On the other, we know you didn't kill her (right???) so we can laugh about it.


I'm pretty sure a person can't do that to a quarter.


http://imgur.com/POlE3.jpg

Edit:
http://imgur.com/ZbviV.jpg


Fuck you. The owners are 90+% to blame. Stop trying for a false dichotomy to appeal to fairness.


Those are fine. but it's at the top on every. fucking. post. also fuck you.


they call that a #4 in texas


Dude how am I supposed to go out and hit the club every night and get raped if I can't get an abortion? This is such an inconvenience.


As a parent, I can confirm this. They need you and you need them right now. That's the only way the world works. They are grateful beyond explanation that you are there.

All my condolences.


Please say yes id love to see what the people would do to him. Like I thought they would hurt Deezer but this guy wow he deserves a different kind of torture. Like im thinking tying him down and letting him get mounted by a donkey is a valid punishment for a guy who is that dishonest that he actually map hacks and then accepts a trip that a different player definitely deserves a lot more.


*7 year old in 2015* Fuk u mean fagit I well fuk u up ur gay 1v1 me


The pre-expansion event has already been confirmed. It's a shitty scenario, that's all.


Well it's harder for you to kidnap me now.


How about stop saying shitty things or just generally being a shitlord in the first place? They haven't doxxed generally good human beings yet, have they?


Every girls fantasy...


Haha, clever implicit Soviet Russia joke. Have you actually come in contact with this stuff? If so, where would one go about purchasing it?

##Edit: Geez, -81‽ Y'all are a bunch of haters.


Dude looks straight out of a Gorillaz music vid


I'm American. I chose to use "America" in this because had I simply said "people" I would get a dozen comments about Koreans knowing what the song said and how I was an ethnocentric bigot who assumed the whole world was English-speaking white people.

I would also argue that, aside from Korea, this song has enjoyed the majority of its success in America.


How the fuck did you know?


Wow where did you get that time machine from? You are from 3 years ago right? I can tell by your reference.

*edit*: grammar

*edit:edit:* Since when is it bad form to defend a team you like? fuckoff.


Jesus fucking christ you debbie downers


ugh.  you guys are total pricks.

i'm gonna put an ad in craigslist and just pay some ham nerd like $100 to spend 30 minutes and answer my question.


Number 1 in the streets, Number 2 in the sheets! ^^I ^^really ^^need ^^^to ^^^^wash ^^^^my ^^^^sheets


Disney-brainwashed much? :)


**YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE**


yeah.. weird huh.. people live OUTSIDE of America :/ who figured


You know who the fastest readers in the world are? World trade center employees. They went through over fifty stories in just seconds!


way to pull a bunch of completely unrelated crap out of your ass. Climate change does exist. but it's not man made. you think we caused the other ice ages as well? I can feel your Fedora tipping all the way from here.


I dunno, I think there would be some big long spiel from Barney about some sex act that is so crazy it is both illegal and he can't tell you about it. Then Marshall would bring up that it's legal during the purge and Barney would go "Challenge Accepted" and that would be the rest of the episode for him.


So what if they were friends, or dating.

You projected a lot of fears you seem to have.


My dad is in the Colorado chapter and he/they are already informed.


Just turn that grill on, and walk off.


"I did it for us, so WE could see her boob."


wanker

edit; crikey! look at the mess your retarded ass got us into...


Now you're giving the 'g' priority over the 'h', you sexist fucking pig.


That marijuana laws are unjust. He is actually better than pub owners, bartenders etc, because marijuana is way safer than legally available drugs


Answer: [make a pile with 12 random coins and turn them over](/spoiler)
Think about it, it takes a while.


Yeah, that's reasonable. She's expressed that a thing really upsets her, so yeah, totally, let's all do that thing to her!

What the fuck is this, middle school?


And thus a Republican is born.


You would think that 3 or 4 years after that retarded show got canceled that you morons would stop posting this garbage.


And you said "No. Women who play head games deserve to have their labia electroshocked. Fuck off."

Right?


> I blinked at him and asked "What year are you from?". (What else do you ask in that situation?)

I love how that was your first reaction.


Where 'productive' is measured by shipping product? Then no it wasn't productive.


Scumbag Local News: Says at 10PM, doesn't show story until 10:29.


Non-Christian scientists have actually found evidence for a global flood that wiped out all humanity except a few people and animals


"why didn't abstinence work for Mary?"


That is what they said. Good shirt, wrong font. Exactly what they said.


They ignored my friend requests. I ignored their cries for mercy.


That's a very good idea. But your kids might not be compatible with Asian people. It's a very very good idea to live in an area that will provide your children with positive friends. Asians, while smart, can be negative too.

EDIT: Asians do better in school, not "smart"


He did well. Superman does good.


ive been making music since.. i was 13? perhaps? just toyed away on a p[iano my grandmosther left me, until i took an interest in computers and graphic design... and found a way to combine both!


**D I S O B E D I E N C E**


Oh shit. I always thought it was just funny because a fish tank has no wheels but ^it ^^turns ^^^out ^^^^I'm ^^^^^just ^^^^^^dumb


I was upvoteing until you automatically thought someone was on tekkit.


Without the tldr this story is just another reddit story that doesn't get a vote either way, but for some reason that tldr was hilarious.


Weird, that's the same response I got when I was being a homosexual apologist.  But no, you're right, they're not comparable positions at all.

:P


there is no revolution without bloodshed when you are going up against a dictatorship/ oppressing regime. Especially not in these regions.


I downvoted because I imagine you're a nigger stalker.  Knock that shit off.  I hope you never find her.  Want some real advice?  Go outside.  If you are having a good conversation with some bitch, hitting a little button because you are an idiot doesn't make her disappear.


Yeah they do that here in Australia too, whenever I'm in N.America it gives me the fucking shits. Oh sweet this is like, $5? I've got five bucks! oh wait it's not five bucks even though it fucking says its five bucks what the fuck is going on this is stupid.


I bet you two used condoms she's a psycho.


You *never* go robots to Venus.


I like how butthurt truth makes people. :D

If you can't realize something this simple as that they follow their parents, I'm sorry but you aren't in the brighter camp. Face it.


That's such a beautiful image. A man, alone. Patting his floor with a slice of white bread until it glitters with particles of glass.


for example, your message only says "Yeah, I know dat feel". It must have not loaded the rest of your incomplete sentence. (trololollololololololol)


Everyone born before the year 2000 just cringed.


This guy right here.....he knows British slang.


My mam gave me the exact opposite of this. She said, and I quote, "fucking deck them one."


That's gay and basically is just more freaky alternative to SAM usage.


All the better.

justkiddingihaveasamsungphone


Better player right now sure, but before this season when Rose was playing he was by far a greater player.  Why don't you factor that in?  Rose has accomplished more than Westbrook with less help.


Drunk dude pulled a knife on me. Stabbed me in the knee. Something something Skyrim. He got tazed and arrested. Surgery is not fun.

Tl;dr. Titties and America


I can post hundreds of videos of the Heat winning a championship. Go cry into your Derrick Rose jersey and cling on to your false hope that if he were healthy the Bulls would have beaten the Heat.


You know they've fucked up when the crowd starts chanting for Rusev. *The guy who hates America.* **In the birthplace of America.**


Why is it so fucking hard for you not to be a fucking douchebag over menial issues?


>flapper girl pussy

Ew. I mean I know what you meant but.. ew.


He'd lost tho since harassing or instigating someone to assault you kind of mitigates the assault part.

**People seem to be stupid and not realize I mean the game-show host would lose since he instigated the fight**.

Christ you fucks are dumb


>I'm a redditor who thinks he has above-average intelligence

ftfy

our inflated view of ourselves comes from our parents

In my case, my mother and my teachers in high school kept telling me how intelligent I was, so I became lazy


I feel like that's like the sluttiest thing a woman can do.


I'll be happy to take that position.


your username is so true. I would believe as you believe except that this whole incident happened over the course of like 2 minutes.


"Your kid is fat. Don't sugar-coat it, or he'll try to eat that too."


Can you explain why I shouldn't have?


I saw this in a subway car once. At least outside walmart you could walk away. I still can't get the *slap slap slap* out of my brain. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't even look away. /shudder


*neither lol come on bro


So now people are flipping their shit? Sounds about right.


You shoplifted the pootie from a single mom?


"What's the pass code for your phone? I just want to google something"

•_•

"Uhh I forgot. My phones battery is dead. I have no internet plan. Google has been taken offline."


staged. the car is a nice touch
Edit. Is it too late to say I was kidding? Wowsers


"Oh it's not for me it's for my chimpdaughter."


On the front page of this sub right now there are multiple posts getting upset at the admins because they banned users for "vote manipulation" and "4chan raids". Both of which are brigading.


The pharaohs? Yeah, all except that one that came back as a mummy in 1932.

Although I guess technically he's dead now... again.


Nah, it really wouldn't. My dads a hunter and wouldn't hesitate for one second to shoot a fox if he saw it. A study shows that 6/31 foxes carry an incredibly dangerous parasite that easily kills you. One of the foxes in the study had as much as 1500 worms crawling around in its fur.. I'd run my ass off if I saw one.


He asked if KennyLog-in is a boy or a girl, then asked him what his own grandson's name is.


Bad Guy Tosh

Pulls the top posts off Reddit and puts it on TV for profit


At first I was like, seen it seen it, man that's  a horrible photo of Mila, seen it, wait?! what??


1.  She's a writer and got to choose the character's name.
2.  It's intended to be an anagram.
3.  She obviously got stuck with the middle name and cobbled together the first word that sounded right.


Bullshit

You guys ran out members for being trans and questioning Milo as a role model, and another for questioning CP on 8chan, and were dicks to antis.

Fuck KIA


That is all I care about


A year is more than enough time to decide you're ready to spend your life with someone, if you give up a few years later then you don't deserve to get married because you sick at the magical thing called commitment.


Not sure why I pictured your dad naked for that...


got room for one more? ;)


Rich people usually have more debt but it's in the form of mortgages and other investments.

Edit: [Comic regarding net worth](https://i.imgur.com/kx4szDt.jpg?1)


I really don't think that's the case, otherwise I have seriously misjudged her character.


This would probably work for the OP's friend


How? I corrected his sarcasm by telling him that I know it's not an original concept it's just a great example


for 8 bucks id shit on myself


You overreact. I find most of the thing in my storage containers are clothes, petals, blocks i dont use, weapons gone too weak, ores like copper or gold, food, saplings and decorations. All life neccesary is on person. While they shouldnt be anle to do that you lost almost no progress because of that, however starting a new character costs you a lot


If your parents get you a car when you turn 16, you are to be fucking grateful.

Is it a 1998 Cavalier? You fucking thank your parents. No, it doesn't matter that the car is almost as old as you are. It's a car. Shut up and drive it.

(edit: changed "you parents" to "your parents". I can't believe it took me a day to notice that.)


you're just being down voted because you're a madrid fan. here sir have my up vote. #fuckbayern


"Sir, for your years of torment and free marketing we are compensating you with a bukkake vacation.  Kindly do not forget your umbrella."


that's because your father would like to do the things to you they do in the movie.


>Bill Gates is so rich he burns his money. He might as well be making commercials for Internet Explorer 9.

FTFY


My gal was hit three times. I can't find the humor in your comment. I'm sure you've found it in your beer.


With Eddie Murphy playing all four roles.


Gonna be really sexy when they're older, too!


Good, dump her ass *yesterday* and come back to read your comments when you start feeling bad afterward.


Nah, watch the girl in the background take a drink. She looks at her drink then drinks it, who looks at their drink after pulling it away from their mouth? you look on the way up.


Funny, this cloth smells like chlorofo...


Why does this belong in /r/atheism?  Theres no claim to being atheist in this post.  It simply points out a logical fallacy in the Bible.  You can be religious and still acknowledge fallacies in the Bible.


*Scrotum status:*

*retracted*


yea because youtube is badly made and buggy... and not the best and most reliable video streaming site in the world.


This is one of the most shameful up-votes I've ever given. You could say that it made me quiver.


It is a ghost town in here... How does this even happen?


No it wor-OH. Yeah...doesn't work.


"Crimes against the state." Puh-lease. Your grandfather was a guard at a concentration camp. Fuck him for living the life of a murdering cunt, and fuck you for playing apologist. I hope you both die.


I would argue that telling them she's busy is the wrong response, business doesn't understand "No."

Tell them you'll be happy to do it for triple your typical rate.  That will stop the calls really quick.


"Uh yeah. Insight Magazine has inside information about the Clinton campaign."

Yeah, yeah, I know, anything that doesn't come from a Left-Wing rag is to be discounted out-of-hand.

Of course, The New York Slimes, SeeBS News, etc., have a lot more documented lies in their portfolio (ala Jason Blair, Rathergate, etc.), but who's counting?

Certainly not you.


Thanks for the heads up


Goo GAH MAMA DADY NO touch VAginea!!!!!!!!!!!!! But then I took an arrow to da knee!


Girl's got serious Daddy issues, for sure.


I really wish people would stop maing this low effort comment. It's actually worst than buzzfeed. LET IT DIE YOU FUCKLORDS.


To quote the song "Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta" by ~~Ghetto~~ Geto Boys:

Real gangsta-ass niggas don't run for shit, cuz real gangsta-ass niggas can't run fast


A good advice that also applies to Ukrainian volunteers and army.

Otherwise you will be surprised to find out that locals do not greet you as liberators.


One of my engineers moved with his kids to the US in the 80's and when they landed at LAX they ran to the cab crouched down becuase they thought drive-by shootings happened constantly.


Some people want to be able to browse while not having their beliefs attacked by smug self serving assholes


You're not evil until you charge $60.00 for the bathrooms.


You sound like a cabbage guy.


Or just send her a mountain lion?


Carl Sagan's reaction http://i.imgur.com/qZwSY.jpg

Funniest thing I've read all week, btw.  Wish I could write half as well as you do, OP.


So you're saying that you can make good money as a cat trainer?  Reddit users everywhere rejoice!


I used to alternatively say fuck it and go to my local cafe for a full English but then I took an arrow to the knee!


i once jizzed on the curtains. lol j/k, i did it more than once.


I was thinking that but I think it might have a combination of the bottom of her dress tearing apart I think the part that is showing is really light nylon, could be super wrong. Either way I finally got to see her goods I ask pleased


"Hahaha, you got paid to do something dumb for two hours! ...now drop and give me fifty."


While we all upvote the shit out of Old Spice and circlejerk over it lol.

Reddit sucks 'the mans' dick when it wants then pretends to be anti-establishment when it wants.

What a pile of shit.


I saw him live a few weeks ago in Toronto and he had a bunch of other really good jokes that weren't about his disability, he was really hilarious. Glad to see him get a little spotlight here!


You mean arrow in the knee?


YOU MESSED UP MY DOLLA.......RAMA!


being open minded to all possibilities = being open minded.


What he should've specified is that that is *in the photon's reference frame* - i.e. while it might seem like 13 billion years to us, to the photon it arrives instantaneously


"Just because you don't agree with me..."

No fuck face.  Reality doesn't fucking agree with you.
Now kindly get the fuck out of the way and let the adults handle this.

Edit:  you guys don't get it.  This crop of fascists only understand verbal abuse.  Nothing else has worked.


Like Gabe says, piracy is not a money problem, it's a service one. And I fully agree.


Wow I feel like we read two completely different threads, I thought he was the only one in there making any sense and the people attacking him were just mindlessly lashing out.


Your female friends watch porn. Probably with their husbands. They just want to look innocent.


I subscribed to this for the comedic (albeit racist) value. I would not like content to be posted in this subreddit.


To be fair, everyone in Wales is called Hugh Williams.


She has a mental illness. It is no so simple as that.


birds are natural trolls, so this totally makes sense.


I'm going to have to disagree with the idea that these guys are "untalented"...


And stunted intelligence.


Thanks for the advice.

I left my middle name out, and there are countless people with my name :)


what if I was gay and did suck cock?  You homophobic bro?  You got a problem with the way I was born?


It doesn't help that the whitest QB ever, Peyton Manning, seems to run a 2-minute 40.


Came to post the same comment then saw you beat me to it. Have an upvote.


Overruled. Let the prosecution finish his line of questioning.


Hahaha! I almost thought that too, but then I realized she didn't say anything about social media, selfies, or clubbing. :p


great, so now my girlfriend has to be smart


I used to be a Firebender, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


TIL I was a perfectly normal German child


for growling?  Fuck you.  I would kick you into next year if I saw you do it.


That's a pretty witty username, Drew.


BROCKEN. THE NAILS WERE BROCKEN. THEY WERE BROCKEN NAILS, GUYS. BROCKEN, MAN.


Throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato, baby you've got a stew going!


"residual effects of slavery"

As a white guy, that just irks me.


Just remember... the student on the left is the parent on the right.


**COME AT ME**

fucking ass hat mother fucker


It's even more enraging when you know that H&R Block (and TurboTax, and all the other tax preparers) [lobby to keep the tax code complicated](http://sunlightfoundation.com/blog/2013/04/15/tax-preparers-lobby-heavily-against-simple-filing/). It's pure chutzpah to turn around and build an entire ad campaign about helping people navigate the maze you helped make.


Disaster relief all around the US is pathetic compared to first-world countries.  And most everyone who takes the metro is black and poor, so it isn't like that's going to be a spending priority.


The safer way would be to do all that without putting the pill in her drink.


What the fuck language was that? Read it over and try again.

-- Better THAN most of the people people on reddit are fucking

-- Better than most people redditor's are fucking

--- Redditors aren't fucking anyone!


"And my axe!" comment goes here


What is with you people man? I thought this was a pretty good post, but apparently *any* post that's similar to another in any way is just as bad as a repost.


I read a Dean Koontz book where the "flaw" was that her full breasts were almost too large for her slender frame. Oh, the horror.

"Clumsy" seems to be a popular flaw-that-no-one-actually-cares-about, too.


>i have no clue what fucking table is 18.

Lol, that's probably the real reason you don't work there anymore. You worked in a diner and don't know which table is which?

Minimum wage should probably be $15/hr guys, right?


If you double zero, it's still zero.


Same here, I just don't know what else to do anymore.

Edit: And *this* is why I hate reddit.


Really? down vote me for making a valid point?


PLEASE TAKE MY MONEY GOOGLE


/r/itsajokeitdidnthavetohappen

Edat: There a mide at ill better, ire you madly less aratited now?


I tried, but my tongue is too numb from the mountains of blow


That video is 15 minutes long, ain't nobody got time for that.


Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.


Blake "Human Ad Space" Griffin. I'm surprised nigga doesn't walk around wearing a sandwich board. It sucks everyone assumes that people trying to be funny somehow means they're good people.


Haha, I've got a smokin wife who rocks my world, no way I'm risking that on some coked out whore in Vegas. So that's how it really went down man.


Your opinion means very little.

Once you're old enough to legally vote I'll consider caring what you think.


WHY ON EARTH WOULD SOMEONE HAVE LEARNED THIS BY HAVING BROTHERS?


and its narcs like you that make me go to del taco (ZING!)(Zing!)(ZING!)(Zing!)(ZING!)(Zing!) **its getting tiring adding a new zing for every -10 you ignorant sons of bitches take away from my karma** gettin tired yet you dumb inbred sons of whores?


Waking up is the most unpleasant time of the day. I think I'll repeat it 2 or 3 times!


Please dont downvote for giving his opinions.


Not safe for lunch. That's adorable.


Hurr durr. Any of these posts could have happened to anyone, tard.


If you think you have that much control over the tone and feeling during your death, then you are one arrogant cunt.


You right-wingers are always blaming the victim.  I suppose you think rape victims deserve what they get too because they left too much skin exposed and attracted the wrong element!

;)


I'm not saying she's a gold digger, but she did move west in the mid 1800's


go fuck urself u ignorant prick


That's the kind of comment that makes you go to college, work your butt off and become a super intendant in the district where she works.


Someone could have hacked his computer


I think he actually laughed unlike the rest of us.


Yup, now to watch as all the SRD'ers downvote my comments to hell.

It pathetic how often this happens.


I never understood this. I don't want one of my friends to hear me take a shit. What the fuck.


Google.com/news

Scientists have been lying for years. Also, you cannot push a theory based on computer models. That is not science.


If a small percent of officers are doing bad things, and a large percent of officers *aren't* doing bad things, but are also not stepping up and criticizing the small percent of officers who are doing the bad things, then all of the officers are doing bad things.


I don't know. I'm hung over and I don't care about this guy. Fucking clocks, how do they work?


Nope.  Regretted it pretty much instantly.  Didn't even fap to it, and at that age, that's really saying something.


What the fuck is this gay ass shit? U fucking gamer fags need to stop jerking off to this weird shit.u pissy bitches need to go out and make something of ur lives n not be huge faggots.