The girl said "luckily she lost her baby". What's not to understand?

That is a sickening statement.


MURICA, YEAH! CAPITALISM WINS AGAIN!


See blatant racism is a crime. Being a dumb fuck who plays a gender pass for gain is not.

I would equally ban anyone posting child porn.

Now do you see the difference.


That is a good best friend right there. That's a tough topic to launch.


Okay. I hereby pledge to donate all but my last $10 billion to charity. That makes me tens of billions more generous than Gates.


I was reading through this thread thinking "man, I don't think I'm in the top 1% of anything..." but after reading your post I remembered I survived a rare cancer which was at an advanced stage as well! Cancer Bros o/


"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a comment on Reddit"

--Carter


Dump Toilet Paper over and then reflush.

Source: Pube flushing


He probably put his unit at risk by putting his feelings above war. There's a reason he was dishonorably discharged.


I bothered checking it... it would be a little under $3,000,000 today

EDIT: inaft3r /r/theybeatthehorse


Two months ago I was too scared to come out as lesbian :(


He knows, man. He knows.


Let me fix it for you:
> And we just find out that there are culturally developed Muslim countries that actually have sense of humour. And honour to sympathize and to apologise.


And she was five! My sis is still my best friend, too.


It's not the consumerism or the comfortable life style. There is a clear difference between having a dignified daughter, and a whore posting herself all over facebook for a promiscuous lifestyle.


The hidden part of the joke is that engineers are good at math, but bad at jokes.

edit: come on it wasn't that funny.


She's like a reddit 7, a real world 5.


Everything is just more awsome when you're attractive.  Pick the face for you :)    :(


who upvotes this thing? really?


That's weird. Usually when I'm incredibly in to a girl, I'm the one that can't get out fast enough. That's how I became a father.

#dadjokes

Edit: thank you so much to whoever gave me gold. I finally feel like a worthwhile redditor.


Those evil anti-vaxxers....argggg!


i actually think that would kill you


A link to a wordpress blog with a few article links does not give you license to generalize feminists as trying to make everyone paranoid.

Reappropriating a phrase to refer to an analogous situation for both genders is not 'stealing' it.


wrists... tired... http://i.imgur.com/amXa8.jpg


Except for 10,000 Days. That one will literally take you until the heat death of the universe to listen to it for the first time, and not just think it was some shit they threw together from a bunch of jam-sessions.


We were married 29 years.  She passed from breast cancer in 2007.  We were more in love at the end than the beginning.  It was a very exceptional romance.


How is it power to her, she did nothing but act superior because shes the tv host, she kept cutting him off when hes in the middle of talking, which is annoying to absolutely anybody.


It means crowd control, There's hard CC and soft CC, and they include things like stuns, snares, roots, polymorphs, fear, slow, silence,knockback, and more.


Meh, I think the fan was being a dick, so I don't exactly feel bad about it.  MC Chris took way too much flak over that, and frankly it is his damn show and he has the right to call people out like that.


SO THIS IS WHY I GOT SERVER TRAFFIC ERRORS EARLIER.


Star Wars.

Edit: thanks for the gold, kid stranger!


At least no one dies in this one.


You gotta admit, its kinda funny. :D


"12 year old pussy" - Your son


The whole thing was really stupid. There's two pictures. And nobody could figure that out?


That's 90% of romantic teen movies of the 90s right there. Throw in the cool guy noticing how "unique" she is and you got yourself a hit


>Damn man that girl was hot as fuck too, what a bunch of jealous forever alone douchebags.

Really? You think she was hot as fuck just because she showed her tits? Who is really the douche here.


Yes.  It's as though we have forgotten fundamental founding principles of the Nation. Every American should read the Constitution at least once per year.  it will help us all to keep politicians honest.


No man, that's the theme song on Imaqtpie's stream when he gets donations!

You know..^the ^League ^of ^Legends ^player.. ^^who ^^just ^^retired.. ^^^pls ^^^someone ^^^get ^^^the ^^^reference


If Oklahomans spoke a different language, had a totally different culture and your money didn't work there, sure.


I am not anti vaccine but freedom of choice. Democracy rules!!!!


...all I can think of is some bizarre sexual thing. Are you a woman?


I understand it in the context of not walking up and down your street checking for unlocked houses. It sounds pretty ridiculous in the context of video game mechanics.


Can I speak to champ?

Who?

Champ?

Who?

Is Champ there?

Who's "champ"?

THAT QUESTION WILL BE ANSWERED THIS SUNDAY NIGHT AT WWE SUUUUPEEEERRRR SLAAAAAAAM


Oh no! My internet points! Whatever shall I do without them?

Go ahead. Spend more time punishing me for something than the time it took me to actually do it. Sounds like a great plan. Just the kind of genius I'd expect from /r/gaming.


No she said she put the hotdog in her pussy, not his.


Well, of course the millionaire gets upvoted, yet there's no upvotes for the simple-living redditors at the bottom of the food chain!


"Hmm lemme check out your....OOPS, heh sorry I just sex'd you."


i never actually did that, it was too hard to keep track


twist ending: his wifes baby is black.


right

Took a chance and the circlejerk went against me. Guess it makes sense that my most downvoted comment is about fucking directions..


Are you sure? Maybe you just don't have the required clearance level to know how it works.


You're also hurting people like me who work on youtube. It's not just big websites that are affected.

edit: If you downvote this, I ask you to view the replies to this comment and join me in some discussion about this!

edit 2: Good talk everyone. Don't really think this much negative karma was warranted, but it was worth the discussion.


Keepin it in the family ;)


While this sounds racist, I take it more as something with the ability to not mean black people but instead it could actually be applied universally to all unsavory folks who were looting, raping and killing.


The Jedi felt that familiar connections were a distraction.

The weight on your conscience of letting your mom get raped and murdered by animals, perhaps less of a potential distraction.


What are you doing? This thread was great, and then you ruined it by posting that video. If you need to share outside links, please create new posts for them.


JB: Our music is basically like a vagina to your ears. That explains the pleasure and the boners. Crank it, for full release.


Sure, add the stress of going cold turkey from tobacco on top of the obvious financial stresses.

Great suggestion.


I don't make a lot of money it's all I could afford.


Well, I guess she hit a chord with the thousands of people who are pissed at getting gouged by 1000$ a day photographers.

It's probably not about the particulars but about what the industry as a whole has become.


How in the hell did she know your name was Leo?


so funny and new. such wow


That's why I save excess saliva in big gallon jars in the laundry room.


Pretty hard seeing as he doesn't have superhuman anything and is likely a troll.


I think he just got a blowjob from your wife.


I swear Reddit suggest a break up in every scenario. Why not just talk to the guy?


I'd prefer Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix, because she would certainly be the filthier one under the sheets -- she'd be all like **"Put a mug of butterbeer in my ass!** ***FURTHER! FURTHER!"*** while casting spells and blowing up chandeliers with her wand, whereas Hermione would only have quiet sex in the missionary position.


Fuck you faggot. Nobody gives a shit about mr bean, or your autsim. FUCK YOU


I would just skip class then since it's my brother that's getting in trouble for it.


Jesus, can we stop questioning women's contribution to their music? It's getting old.


That's the best idea I've heard in a while


i'm so sick of people making fun of us, just because you bet us in a war, like, 500 years ago, doesn't mean shit. we made you, regrettably.

EDIT: i let this sit for a few hours to see what you guys would come up with, idgaf about either country, trolling from australia all day :)


I was checked out by a military psych when I got out and I was given the all clear, but I have my moments. I usually only get flashbacks a couple of times a day now, whereas it used to two or three times a minute


OP meant achievements for Netflix.


But not him apparently.


logged in just to downvote you


Once we get time travel I doubt anything is then relative :p


We should create an edge to go to Mars with.


WE DON'T NEGOTIATE WITH BEARORISTS.


i didn't know.  which is why i asked for clarification.

Thanks for that link tho.  i didn't think my post would be posted anywhere else...and especially with other site watermarks on them.  i'll have to get those taken down.


Or Dublin, Ohio.

Or London, Ohio.

Source: I live in Ohio.


They invented this crazy thing called the internet where people can store [information](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1856010/fullcredits?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm) electronically and transmit it from one location another. It's incredible!

They are both set decorators.


That is true. It's common knowledge that Alaska is made entirely of ice. That's why so few people live there, Alaska melts during the summer.


That's called evidence supporting my claim. But since you've just assumed that I'm guilty of the horrible crime of "karma whoring" (even though this joke was [pretty obvious](http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/y4ewl/photo_from_a_mall_in_1991/c5scqtn)), evidence doesn't matter.


Let's not get crazy here.


You should probably just delete that now.


Indeed it was a motherfucking toy.


Yeah, those fucking sneaky natives. No way a good American soldier could have smuggled cocaine in.


In fairness, I think that author deserves payment. Edit: it has been pointed out that the original author of WinRAR is deceased (which, according to comments, makes me pretty fly for a dead guy). I too am a big fan of 7-Zip, which is great unless you want to CREATE a RAR file. Nevertheless I also paid for WinZip, because AES.


at first i thought "dickhead, don't comment that" but then it hit me and i had a sensible chuckle

Edit: I meant I didn't realize it was a response to the title and I thought he was just saying his music sucked

Edit: Oh never mind... I thought it was funny, that's all...


> I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances
> all you do is say what the shit does, and add "er"

So, a Kitchen Appliance Namer?


guy is an a-hole, I side with the cops....let the downvoting begin -_-


Damn, you missed out on double teriyaki chicken!


and I bet when you havent had one in a year HOLY SHIT it must feel great. I give them out when I really want to do something special...that or anal


Wow, a real life wizard!

That said, it's not like I'm getting any, but I have a bit of time at least :/


I can actually do whatever I want ✌


holy shit this guy is good


How about a Source you fucking idiot


It's on school property so they can search everything and call it an inspection.


I am in the first grade, but when I grow up, I want to be a teacher.


so adorably predictable


I used to talk about tolerance not dependency, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


At least we're polite! We're like the Canada of the South!

Sorry that happened to your boss. Come back any time for sweet tea and folksy racism!


How did you quote all my posts? That's pretty cool.


Well that probably wasn't a good idea


edit: wherein I challenge people to take *even more* karma


"I wish I knew why I feel entitled about my console's content when I have nothing to do with Sony and Activision's relationship" is what you're saying right?

OP, no orbs though?


"I am gonna suck your ass, and there's nothing you can do to stop me"


Your attempted reading comprehension was cute.


OK in that case try not to rape him, or you'll probably blow it


I know right? I still have no idea why this gif was upvoted this much. Seriously, what is interesting about this? I'm just glad that it's small so I didn't have to waste more time waiting for it to load. Stupid sub.


I appreciate the explaination, as I don't give two shits about American football, but don't appreciate the patronizing explaination of what the super bowl, or what a field goal is.

So I upvoted, then immediately downvoted.


Thank God there was none of that.


His horrible what?

EDIT: getting downvoted because he corrected his mistake without acknowledging it. Classy people, y'all are.

EDIT 2: keep the downvotes coming. I've got 26k karma and nothing to spend it on. If you're having a bad day, and just need to downvote something, by all means, do it here.


Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

It got hit by a refrigerator.


shut the fuck up -_- ur not funni


Honestly I've started just putting on the captions when I watch TV a lot of the time and it helps a lot, you suddenly don't miss anything! I know some people don't like it because it kills the immersion or whatever but if you haven't tried it I recommend it, that way it can still be quiet but you can track what the hell is happening.


Based on your first comment alone it sure sounded like you were saying everything right now is after Breaking Bad.


I guess I don't get all the hate OU is getting. One frat does something disgusting, they take immediate action and disband the frat and will most likely suspend the students, yet people are mad at OU? doesnt make sense to me


aye dont compare yourself to us


This seems like one of those friends Moms warn us about.


Or maybe he just asks the manager if he would carry 5x shirts because he really likes the store but recently put on more weight.


The weird thing is Alex was just some random African Grey the researcher picked up at a pet store.

Also he would screw with the other parrots when they were learning or doing experiments, by yelling out wrong answers.


I used to upvote things, but then I took an arrow to the knee.


When Vincent goes to shit, so does everything else.


I'm guessing T&P means thoughts and prayers?

... Bad enough you're doing something that means and does nothing for him, couldn't even type out the entire sentiment.


NIGGA,

WHAT

THE

FUCK!

WHAT

THE

FUCK

NIGGA?!

FUCK


I sent you a message, it's fine you think i'm a little shit, I probably don't deserve your audience. But anyways, thanks for the new look on things from the same old "Your a fucktard and a failure" speech!


What the fuck. I'm seriously...holy shit.

Really??

Not even trolling. Really? I thought it was actually Santa....


lemme guess, you thought of that witty line first, then waited for the perfect post to reply to. textbook lurking


Wow, I wasn't aware you could join the military without an ID. Though I guess you could a while back?


i was wondering when you were going to show up i knew you would come running to the damsel in distress youve made it clear that your in love with kyle so i half expected you. as for being a child i garentee i am older then you and fuck you it should not have been his relationship to begin with


Part of why people are telling this is a simple missunderstanding from germans how to read swiss school reports. Atleast that is mentioned this way in the bern einstein museum.

The point is that in germany a 1 is the best and a 6 is the worst. In Switzerland it is the other way around. When i remember right he had all 5 & 6 and probably 1 4.


GARGLE, DON'T FORGET TO GARGLE

Edit: What, he get a bunch of his bad-teeth friends downvote us?


Trucks filled with chickens on the other hand...


Nah cuz I still got laid in the end so TECHNICALLY I pussed IN. Get on my level.


Grounds for a lawsuit if I ever did see one.


Same, I wonder how I do that too, its baffling how someone could just go around finding random images online, but somehow, they seem to manage.


That was the last thing I was expecting to read. My boobs retracted so hard, I lost a cup size.


Lmao take my upvote good sir


I already tweeted it [AND THEY RESPONDED!](http://i.imgur.com/r50LK.png)


I didn't like it, not because it was making fun of Minecraft, but because it really wasn't that funny.

Haha the aesthetic design choice is unusual for modern video games, move on.


I guess you could say he had

( •_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

no I deer.


If girls are ridiculing and humiliating you, maybe you should hit on women instead.


And I'm here for the incest


I got 225 useless karma pts from it.   Guess there are a lot of simple minds here huh?


Who gives a fuck this brave old man risked his life to stand on the fuckign moon. He can punch whoever he wants for as many years as he has left on this earth.


seriously? If that's actually what it says then this joke is actually really stupid


>"Use your fucking turn signals correctly and appropriately. Also, fuck Comcast".

ftfy.


I got the first upvote on this.


Cameras should not be that powerful...


You do realize that this kid (not man) was the reason the 10 year old brother was drowning in the first place, right? This is just self-imposed Darwinism.


This one's going to happen.  I'll post a screenshot next time I get one of these texts, but it may be a few days, since it's not an every day thing.

I'll send another reply so you can look at it.


And if he simply went outside his house and posted those pictures that day instead of 3/4 days later I would have already eaten a hat by now.

I can't help getting a bit heated when it was in fact OP's tardiness that denied you all a good hat eating video


I'm loving the idea that the president was sitting around frustrated by the 503s like any other redditor. Would have been even funnier if it resulted in a double post...


How is a gif from the Walking Dead not wtf worthy?

Fixed your typo.


Check his username for what he really likes.


I'LL TAKE THIS ONE FOR THE TEAMM!!!!!


You may just be the #1 bro.

Ever.


Predictable top comment at a [0]

*edit:  Predictable downvotes from butt hurt ents who thought it was clever because they were all thinking the same thing at a [5].*


In case my husband ever reads this, I'm a fan of your dick.

Edit: now I'm just tempted to show him the thread.


Prison already strips you from dignity. As for human rights... Well i don't think it is medically necessary for her.


Where is it? Our inerventional radiology department can get pretty much any brain aneurysm under control with coiling. Seriously, seek a second opinion. Unless it's embedded in your basal ganglia or an AVM or something, they should be able to coil it for you.


Stupid conclusion based on few pics.


QUICK, EVERYONE, JUMP ON THE COUCH


TIL:  people get "colloquially" and "incorrectly" mixed up alot.


Growing up in the 1890s must have been stressful.


I thank you for your research, if my post is inaccurate that is unfortunate, however I think people still enjoy the joke. But thank you for your research though.


You don't rob a *a fucking gun store*


I concur. I was hoping for some big action. I know I shouldn't but the world is kinda boring so far. I havent seen any action in asia for quite some time while the rest of the world is doing the same ole thing. AHHH YOU INSULT MY RELIGION I KEEEL YOU!! AHH WE HONGRY WE NEED FOOD AND WATEEERRR!! AHHH OUR GOV'T SUCKSS...


Vince was filming a movie in Budapest a while back and eating at the same place I was on Liszt Ferenc Ter. I've never been so aghast in my life than watching him pull bits of bread off to throw at his waitress to get her attention. An absolute cunt.


must be even more difficult to learn math when you're upside down.

edit: rofl


My husband has a whole crew of lesbians.


They wanted to avoid 'hivemind', where discussions are canceled because the majority is always in right. They also believe r/Atheism is bollocks.

Listen, you seem like a cool girl. We agree to disagree on sh&t. I did actually have a blast last night. I may go to another. If it wasn't for the faceplant, and shit-eating smugness, which you had no part of, I wouldn''t have wrote this.


I feel like reading askreddit threads might save my life one day


so i should just trust what you're saying even though you have not presented any evidence. *Cool*


>Jersey shore

As an American, I'm sorry.


Ridiculous?  Im sorry that I dont want to taste my own cum.  Ill save that for when I can blow myself!


This man has balls.  I like balls.


Yeah, just oje thing before he died, he was the one that put the bomb there.


TIL every member of the human race is female


or quit being a pussy and drink it.

I honestly can't tell the difference between cheap coffee and expensive coffee. it all tastes like dirt to me.


It'll next be seen on American Pickers 50 years from now.
It's going to somehow end up in some hillbilly's barn in the middle of Iowa.


The ruling class is spared by the sock puppets, from having to shake thousands of peoples hands. It's as simple as that. The people shake peoples hands hidden behind pictures of the 'leaders'. It's like a bad joke. I know... but it's real....


Man, siblings buy each other laptops now? We just usually spend about £20 :-/


BEP removed that rule, he appears to be fine with invading other subs.


I go to Costco for the samples and wind up spending at minimum $150.  Then I have to tetris my freezer to fit everything in.


All Americans are fashion victims.


She sent it to you on purpose, just to fuck with you.


you must be fun at parties.


or 16 with a partner that is at most three years older than her. NC laws, that is.


Actually, I did draw it. And also OP it, about a year ago. It felt due for a re-run.
[I invite you to go and find one that predates my original submission](http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/jz618/my_coworker_didnt_quite_understand_the_whole_milf/)


You're a good person and a good son. Don't ever regret anything you've done for your parents.


good job you watched a movie about drugs whilst on drugs how original and unique and worthy of mention


For your convenience, here is a broken link you can't click:

    http://i.imgur.com/SjXdamf.pdf


References aren't witty.


Rage against the machine - killing in the name ~~of~~

"Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!"


Wow he's really dark he shouldn't wear black


I don't understand how it happens. If rape happens in prison, it should be provable. If it's not, the prison is negligent at best and criminal in failing to prevent it otherwise. If it is provable, it's cruel and unusual punishment and it should not be hard to be released as a prisoner.


Straight allies are welcome if they are willing to check their privilege, listen, and learn.


I thought you said it'd be a **fun** fact?


hahah! reminds me of [this gem](http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3rfgt1/)


I had a teacher like that, he made me call him daddy.


Well I for one, love this repost.  It is from a show about an extremely smart and clever guy that has trouble empathizing with people (just like us Redditors! Lol)  Also, vaccinations are rarely discussed here and it seems to be evenly split about whether or not they really are necessary.  Okay I am off, there is some great debate to be had!  Goodbye, thanks OP!


don't spend time with anyone when you're horny.


Sure.  But please tell me in what world that it makes sense for someone to buy a replica Ghostbusters backpack who makes less than $25K a year, has two kids, and lives off of food stamps.

It concerns me because his daughter is my goddaughter and I've seen her literally go hungry because he prioritizes stupid shit like that.


Or maybe give 'em like four stars instead of five.

EDIT: Thanks for the gold!


I was going to comment about how I hated you for simply copying the linked post, but then I realized that it had the possibility of being removed by craigslist, so you were performing a service.  But, I decided that I still hate you.


> Where hast the time gone?

ftfy

EDIT: Wow, a lot of you guys sure know old-timey english.  Considereth me puttetheth in my placethethethetheth.

EDIT 2: FUCKETH MY INBOX


Youre a straight woman. A woman who wants to chop off her tits and take steroids is still a woman.


Thank you.  In return for your explanation, I give you your t-shirt location:

[http://www.redbubble.com/people/spookygriff/works/11622429-icons-of-an-icon?grid_pos=13&p=t-shirt](http://www.redbubble.com/people/spookygriff/works/11622429-icons-of-an-icon?grid_pos=13&p=t-shirt)


And you're saying a sober Eskimo could not? Bold strategy, let's see if it pays off.


It took me six hours to write that rap.


He didn't need to say it though. It wasn't the point of the post.


he's like some sort of tampon superhero.


Why is it sweet? It's another dig at Argentina....


I hope she came out to see you scrubbing the carpet, and just decided she didn't want to know and walked past.


i think bronies are, on the whole, a bunch of immature basement dwellers, falling for big eyes and borderline stripper voices..

however, i must upvote a remarkably clever comment when i see one. and this, sir, was one.


Sometimes it's our hearts that he's blasting.


As someone who has met Logan this is a pretty dick thing to say. He's an awesome guy and I don't think he cares about his teeth, as he plays in the fucking nhl.


Please be my wife's throwaway...


WARNING IF YOU SORT BY "BEST" - Don't read anything past about the 4th comment down, it's all white people complaining.


They're not really obituaries either though.  The Times calls them "Portraits" which I think is more fitting


No i thought that guy was you until i heard about your meltdown at defcon admitting to being backtrace


But . . . robot arms. . .


But they won't re-introduce him because once Agents of SHIELD gets cancelled in May, Marvel will pretend that it wasn't in canon with the rest of the MCU. So basically, Coulson never came back to life and he's still dead.

EDIT: Did I say something wrong?


That's how most of my passwords are.


Pictures or it didn't happen.


Also: if you repeat "Am I being detained?" in a loud, panicky, hostile voice, the police will stop arresting you to make sure you're alright before sending you on your way.


Maybe it's just because you all need to hide your insecurity so you have to show off and mention your "physical prowess" at every possible opportunity - even over a comment section on the internet. Your machoness makes me shiver in my boots. ◔_◔


That's ballsy ordering non well done meat from a chain like that.


Also, this doesn't *make* atheists look bad, it reveals them to *be* bad.


**THIS JUST IN MASSIVE PILOT CULT CONSPIRACY UNVEILED ON REDDIT!**

**THE SECRET YOUR PILOT DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW**

**THE PEOPLE WHO FLY YOUR CHILDREN S PLANES ARE LITERALLY TRYING TO KILL THEM**


Yeah, i was a little upset at first cos I'd asked for naked 2, but I'm definitely going to use it for practice ^^ thank you for the advice, I'll give it a shot :) and thanks for the compliment, I normally wear red or purple lips so the brown is quite different for me :)


Gone with the Wind was also in theaters for four years straight.


Are we REALLY? I hate all this tired insincere shit on the internet for suicidal people. If JambaLakadiPamba killed himself tomorrow none of us would know or care. In fact, hundreds of people you don't know all around the world committed suicide just within the last week, but I don't see you or anyone else breaking up over it.


No, god no, what the shit?!


Launch ALL the upvotes!


I actually went in with pain in my chest (pretty obvious broken rib), told them it was absolutely not cardiac when checking in, and they still pulled me back immediately and I had to argue I didn't need an EKG. They take that stuff seriously!


"adore" people just play it to pass the time waiting for fallout 4


I see you haven't forgotten your Computer Science roots (trunk?). Hopefully you are still thread safe.


Headlines people.. It wasn't a big light show even though it may look like one. It happened when lightning struck a power plant, so, it didn't cost anything at all.


Damn, the rules to A.A. are easier then this.


I must admit that I almost cried when I read your comment, you're a gentlemen and a scholar! Upboated.


Grab something off the top shelf for a short person once, they get their thing once.  Teach a short person to tall, they get their things forever.


How much have you studied vaccines?


When I walk in the mosque

This is what I see

Four Muslim women and they're staring at me

I've got a qur'an in my hand

And I ain't afraid to show it

(show it, show it, show it)

I'm Saudi and I know it.


What about posting cartoons of black people eating watermelon and fried chicken? Freedom of speech right?


Totally agree. I would stare at her tits only, avoiding her gaze altogether. If she called me on it I'd say "honey, every woman in this room has eyes, but none of them have tits like these."


Ok. Guess you agree that the comment op is autistic as fuck then.


He also had a two page resume with refrences. Very professional.


Why do you perpetuate lies?


So I guess you can say it was a pull-out couch ;)


Shut the fuck up.  Don't tell other people how to live their lives.  People will do what people do, not what reddit user "wtf_ftw" tells them.


That's how long it takes for the letter "n" to dissolve.


Players cheating is one thing. Institutions cheating is another. Institutions cheating systematically and on a regular basis is another thing still. I feel like that's not hard to understand.

Edit: Lots of Pats fans swarming the thread that attempts to make cheating seem ok.


I'm so Buddhist I know this comment is actually about everyone.


Not a new gamestyle dude, its sf getting 4 stacks.... which is about a 5 second advantage in lane between denies and last hits.

The gamestyle atm is actually pretty stale. You see the same 15-20 heroes every competitive game. Any kind of variation is a one trick pony, or a gag game.


Someone sounds just a tad bit jelly.


No you didnt, you just put **le** cereal box over **le** existing x-box.


That escalated quickly...


you sound mad. would you like a hug noob?


Well, you might be a *little* gay.


Shit up fuck up you fucking broke American.


>He waved back.

I like this guy.


His dreams... his desires... his most intimates of intimates...


> You paid us to permanently mark your body and we seriously fucked it up? **WHO CARES LOL**


Martin Sheen, tip of the fedora to you! We lowly Le Reddit Army welcome your highness, with much praise! O me, when my gaze came upon this AMA, on this of all days! Truly you will conquer our hearts, just as you have done throughout your filmography!


I mean, you should probably clear that with your wife first, but that sounds like a great prank.


No response?  You must have forgotten the TL;DR version.  I know I didn't read it.


for those who still can't see it: http://www.clockworkthree.com/hosted/dearjohn.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Glasses.jpg


lol your a pussy crying over an internet story

ppl die every day and you didn't even know this girl so why you cryin big man???????


I was not expecting cited sources in this thread.  I'm impressed.


This has been known for years.

If it's really that big of an issue, you could have easily not bought the game.


No kidding. I just coil it around my leg. The only problem is I piss with the force of a thousand stallions and it occasionally unwraps so fast from the blast that I end up twirling off the toilet like a helicopter, shit-stream giving me thrust like an uncorked bottle of champagne. I have high ceilings though so whatever.


Yes, because that was exactly what he was doing, taking the high ground claiming to know what this boy was feeling because he had been to the same continent.

I think I've found the true reddit hivemind right here.


Desert Eagle one : http://imgur.com/V6jSjyQ


TIL sexism is justified if you can explain it well enough.

Next you'll be suggesting a whites only meetup is alright, because white people often feel uncomfortable around the other races.


Hey, sounds like a reasonable response to me.


Note that I said "perfect match" rather than "perfect girl."


I felt awkward just reading that.


Millions of bro's just shivered a bit in-between their curl sets in **le** squat racks


You look a LOT happier with the giant cock than you do in the boob room...


You sure are a bitter motherfucker.


Let's find out

A one

A two hoo

A three *crunch*


op has like 5 cards left i wouldnt be that salty


The medal is the ring around his finger.


How can you not jerk him off?

oooiiieeey!


I think this is one of the best ways possible to open a fight.


Feminist or just stupid? Oh wait, same shit.


"We've lost things too...like our owl statue"


He isn't talking to the pastor to just simply be prayed for, or to "be forgiven,  and we'll just hope for the best. " Like I already said,  he's going to be going to counseling,  and going to be getting help.


I can't wait for the moment when your child will ask about brothers and sisters.

"You almost had a brother once. It was a fart though."


Sentient? Cancerous? wtf are you talking about?


Sadly, no. It mostly just plays in the background while I'm doing other things. Occasionally I'll look up from reading a book and go, "Oh, there's Jennifer Aniston's nipples. Neat."


How does it feel to be negative 22 seconds after you submitted your comment?

Remember that feeling when you comment in the future.


I've heard corduroy pillows are making headlines.


Aubrey Plaza is a sweetheart dont ever say anything to hurt her.


If I were you I would call the frog "International House of Pancakes" and watch people's reactions.


Oh, it's just a Steam autominer..you aren't a console peasant, are you?


He's got a PowerPoint


The twist: he was rushing his wife of 25 years to they hospital after she fell and cut a major artery on a sharp corner countertop.


"Day 21: my colleagues and peers no longer stare oddly at my rivets and seams. I believe I have acheived assimilation."


Are you fucking retarded or something? I am exactly the same as the people I'm trying to "warn" you idiots about. So yes, protection from assholes like me is protection from assholes who post "DAE LIKE POKEMANS???" to get to the front page. That's my entire point. And no, that is in no way "ironic".


It's fucking delicious is what it is.


This isn't Facebook. Pictures of people we don't know not doing anything interesting is not "original content," it's fucking stupid.

edit: I also like how instead of rebutting me, people are trying to "show me" by downvoting. The only ones that care about votes are you people.


Yeah I always buy two of everything in case I want to fuck one. Who doesn't?


Yeah, how cool would it be if your grandmother had a picture posing with Stalin?


Maybe they'll use Google+.


All the downvotes have convinced me that I was wrong not to accept this study and for urging skepticism.

I apologize for my lack of gullibility.


better than adam savage did at the beginning.


That isn't what humanitarians do. He's just wasting his; and everyone else's, time by saying some nonsense when this guy died.


Payday 2 lets you play DLC heists if the host has it and you don't.


My initial reaction was all, "that's the fucking point you-oh, oh wait..."

I c wut u did ther.


Can confirm, am boyfriend


No she's a whore for wanting to show off her 'geeky glasses' but making sure her cleavage was viewable in both pictures.

Yea, she got all those likes on fb for her glasses, swear.

Edit: OH GOD SRS PLEASE DON'T DOWNOTE ME.

Remember you'll never make any real difference in anything


obvious troll is....entertaining?


First of all, I am not from either of those places, second, kill yourself with a handful of rusty darts.


"GRONK NOT KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG"


As a Reddit who uses a black guy,  I found this incredibly funny.


really. literally every part of it added to the story caused my jaw to drop a little further.


If you want to compete for a good jobs in a highly developed, modern nation you need highly developed and modern skills that go beyond working a cash register and making french fries.  You need to work hard and smart if you want to win at life in the USA.


Because he was trying to use a device with the same power as current gen consoles.

*Hey-ooo*! Ok, I'll see myself our now...


LOL HE'S TROLLING HIM SO HARD


Huwhaaijalivdakisupahdatable!? Eereoogoreatanadafable!


If I was going to ruin this subreddit because I couldn't handle imaginary points shrinking, I would have a long time ago.

The fact of the matter is people downvoting others because they disagree is the wrong usage of the system.


How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?

AIDS.


Stupid fucking teens need to get the fuck off reddit. Your lack of life experience adds nothing to the conversation. So don't fucking comment on shit if you have nothing to add you stupid teen faggot.


On Conan's first day a pigeon flew threw a window and died in his office.  I tried to convince him that somehow that was good luck.


Beautiful.  I wish more women would adopt this posture and stop trying to tilt their hips and stick their ass out more because "men think it's hot".  It's not hot.  What's hot is a woman who is going to be able to walk past the age of 60.


That's horrible. You genius.


Is it really, or is this just more liberal projection of those traits on everything not liberal, which you honestly do see a lot of on this board.

'Someone said Obama hasn't been the best President ever! Why, they must be secretly harboring racist thoughts!' or 'OMG, someone disagreed with feminism or said something mean about feminists. THEY HATE WOMEN!!!!'.


*tips too far and rolls over sideways*


The cost to your dignity is steep.

What he did was terrible and so far he's unrepentant.


The new motto of reddit:  "Don't have buttsex when you need to poop."


Well, I mean, you did ask an incredibly stupid question.  "Is something funny if it's funny?"  Yes.  Yes it is.


Suddenly, testicular cancer :(


Go until she comes every single time. You won't regret it.
If you can't, please just leave.


That's a good idea. I just might do that, thank you!


Reverse the situation with allied POWs, and you get war crimes charges.

I dislike how Japan sometimes plays down its war crimes, but there's something to be said for the fact that it was "winner's justice".


They went silent because they didnt know that you and their daughter shared their scat fetish.


Fuck you and fuck yo pun thread.


Hey baby. I'm 3 standard deviations from the mean count of thrusts per copulation. How 'bout we go back to my place and increase the sample size?


Go ahead, downvote. God forbid someone actually helps someone else improve their grammar. It's not like being able to write properly would come in handy on this subreddit anyways, right guys?


This needs to get upvoted to the top....if Obama is going to bat for the LGBT community then everyone in favor of gay marriage needs to go to bat for Obama.


How could you not be expecting this?


If they're slightly tubby and in the same position you could also grab their belly and pretend to be driving a car. Never fails to ruin the moment.


Said the same thing every time you guys make a meaningless move that worsens your team. Enjoy Fox as a HC. I am sure he will instill fire and drive into your team like he did with the Broncos.


What's not to like? The skin is chewy and bitter like a plastic bag while the inside is flavorless and has the consistency of snot


Ok, does that change the fact that he throws people into rape cages because they're voluntarily trading something he doesn't like?


Frostbutt. Only important word I heard.


The christians invented marriage and their holy text says no gay marriages. I certainly can't see why anyone in a highly christian region would not be upset.


Yo we liked beanie babies, my sissy had fitty,

Ya gotta have somethin' when yo face ain't pretty

She had Dobie the Doberman, and Bixby the bear

They ain't worth a pickle now, so buyer beware.

PEACE


wisps are not free, it's definitely C2P though :P (cheap2play)


Plot twist: They're all guys.


She is still being an unhealthy roll model.


Simpsons did it.

>Homer: Now Marge, if the unthinkable should happen, you're going to be lonely.

>Marge: Oh Homer, I could never remarry.

>Homer: Darn right.  And to make sure, I want to be stuffed and put on
       the couch as a constant reminder of our marital oath.

["Homer's Triple Bypass", 1992](http://www.snpp.com/episodes/9F09.html)


I do empathise with men who have been abused by their spouses, but I'm tired of reading this every single time something related to domestic abuse: "But what about men". It's like you're discrediting the very real fact that lots of women are abused. Again, abuse is abuse regardless of gender.


You can't fuck her brains *in*.


God such tremendous amounts of bullshit in this fucking thread..... You useless circle jerking dickbags.


**B**ox

**O**f

**M**y

**B**ooks


im getting annoyed now. please give me upvotes!! serious (or ill downvote all in tthis thread)


"Which car company do you work for?"

Edit: I am extremely stoked that my most upvoted comment is a Fight Club reference. Greatest movie of all time IMO.


le good one sir XDDDDDDDTHjsemdilf.l


8 If you count the toupée


How about just don't pull for Oregon... No one likes Oregon dude


Good call on the divorce there.  Married a real dummy, huh?

edit: stop blowing up this post, please.


The indigenous people of Australia are barely human, and they largely constitute a net drain on Australian society.

It's not fashionable to say it, but everyone knows that Australia needs to preserve its deep white heritage to say relevant geo-politically.


Now you'll be prepared when you meet Kobe Bryant.


my pary are with the father who lost his chrilden : i am truely sorry for your lots


for some reason I thought it was going to be a really frozen lake and a rocket launcher but video still somehow didn't disappoint.


No, you're overreacting. It's a minor mistake.


Stopping at the end of the day.


Well, that's just like, your opinion, man...


I got kicked out of summer camp for setting the admin building on fire. some people just do not know how to take a joke


Surprised you can type with your fat fucking fingers, you disgust me


why look at that clean shaven homeless man


Well if there's no cause between the majority opinion and yours, what, if any, are the exceptions?  My whole point is if you can't say something good about something why ruin it for other people.


His mother was heiress to the Vanderbilt fortune. He could have been openly Hitler and still would have been succesful.


I've often wanted to kick you guys in the balls on my way out of the plane due to turbulence. Just to let you know.


When I pitched the idea to my sister, she suggested I post to Reddit/Instagram since she doesn't use Twitter.


And also a reminder of his horrendous acting skills. Man I hated that guy.


Wow! that's hard. The first Odor blocker with the talking abs and the fake ending CHANGED THE GAME. But the newest one MUSCLE MUSIC is my FAVORITE! You can actually make music with my muscles! Changed the game yet again!

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/yyxxt/i_am_terry_crews_ama/


Great advice coming from a guy who raps about killing cops.  That's good advice too,  do that kids.


Listen to the breaths, they're like a tiny, almost inaudible treasure map.


Thank you for speaking up, Sister.


There's a deleted scene where the folks at Area 51 describe how our current computer technology was designed and based off the alien craft's computer technology that crash landed in the 50's, so apparently both parties are using the same OS.


You pressed "z",
Golly gee,
Downvotes for me...


20 years later... Dragon Enterprises has become one of the world's leading conglomerates.


Please, tell me all about your impeccable form since this is your distance driver... ಠ_ಠ


Out of radioactive glassware.


oh shit, anonymous user can conveniently offer no actual proof!

welp, i'm going to bed or my internet is going out, so i've got a convenient out lined up in case someone calls me on my bullshit. ^_^


It's not. I do it too. And I love it.


I know that art work is so terrible.


tyrannosaurus**REKT**


no, its my buddy. he walked away without a scratch


You are a fucking faggot who needs to die. Want the game? You'll find it up your mothers asshole.


He must buy weed pretty often.


I find it extremely hard to believe that your friend was raped by a college professor.  She probably came onto him for better grades then later regretted what she had done and decided to ruin his career by screaming rape.  Pretty typical.


Howard cannot get to the controls of the Rover


R/trollxchromosomes would give you a better reaction hun. Just saying.


You wanna know if I'm a reposter.


Bullshit huh?  Dems are the scummiest, laziest, dumbest people in this country.  Its proven fact that 95% of rapists and child molesters were registered Democrats before being caught.  Learn the facts before you talk shit, you fucking poopmouth.


> gauge

Nicely done.


oh youre cool
damn hipster


I held the *fuck* out of her hand for like 5 straight minutes.


this isnt twitter dumbass

edit: @downvoters suck my dick No seriously

edit2: NOOOOOO my beautiful karma points! Oh well, I'm still sticking to what I said


I paid 400Rs to the policeman and he gave back the weed he got from us and told us to go smoke over there pointing to a spot


Turn steam guard on and off, i guess that blocks you out 14 days


1.  Masturbate

2.  Eat

3.  Masturbate

4.  Get high

5.  Eat while masturbating

6.  Get sloppy drunk

7.  Try to masturbate

8.  Fall asleep with your dick in your hand

9.  Dial your ex's number on your phone, and hover your thumb over the "call" button before chickening out.

10.  Cry and masturbate


Definitely. That mascot would have gotten socked if that were me. I can put up with someone's words all day, but if they bring it to the physical realm, shit's gonna get real ugly real fast.

Edit: Looks like I've pissed off all the neckbeards who've been bullied. Sorry kids, didn't mean to scare you.


No, that's how she becomes a Firetruck.


Lets cry about Pokemon. It's definitely not gay at all.


It's funny. What others think is a hindrance to Hollywood has ALWAYS become someone's calling card. Barbara Streisand nose, Sly's Slur, Arnold's accent -- it's all about how you see yourself. I know there is only one ME. If you hire me- you GET ME. And there's only one. There will never be another.


She is ugly from inside. She is a pedo who seduced him and banged him when he was only a kid. You are so naive. Are you getting any education by the way because i feel like you don't go to school. You sound really stupid.


And if the turtle died then death would be interfering.


I think you may be confused, this isn't explainlikeYOU'REfive


So the same bitch has been kidnapped a shitload of times?


The Middle East, in it's current state, cannot be allowed to go on for much longer in the interest of not only the innocent people there, but also in the concern of the greater world.

The UN needs to agree that it's an issue and band together to stop it.  Go in as the world, eliminate the threat, hang around long enough to insure things become stable and the threat doesn't come back.


I can't imagine being on the golf course seeing a plane crash, then you rush over to it to find out it's fuckin Harrison Ford.


Thank you for for capitalizing Jesus unlike the OP.


(I showed him a map)

Oh my gosh! Lets say hey to them.


Damn females are dumb


My balls are carried for me at all times by the thirteen contestants who lost to me on Jeopardy back in 2004 with a negative score, meaning they didn't get to compete in Final Jeopardy.

They take turns.


Yes, but you are gay and therefore more like a chick, it is understandable you like baths and probably with bubbles.


That was the appropriate response.  Good on you.

Obligatory edit: now my top comment is about how not to disturb people randomly having sex in public, I guess it's better than a comment about butt play.


This is crazy but...


Still my best friend.  Great guy.  He was in a tough spot.  This was years ago so we don't talk about her or the marriage anymore.


SO LET ME GET THIS FUCKING STRAIGHT.  You basically call out trannies who use "cis" normal as nothing more that trolls looking to pick a fight.  And then, when lo-and-be-fucking-hold, when predicted trannyfag shows up, you actually take the time to write out a rebuttal?

wat?


Same day too. 2.12.1809

Editing for everyone :

* February 12, 1809

* 12 February 1809

* 12.2.1809

* month February,  day twelve, year 1809

**everyone happy now?**

**editing for /u/eduardog3000 and /u/bulletAllergy **

1809-02-12


Of course it is, yet it has its own post. For the karma.

Downvote me all you want— you know I'm right. I can even make up for the karma in a single shit-comment in /r/new.

Oh what the hell—

HAN SOLO DIES IN STAR WARS 7


Plot twist: You actually fingered the twin sister.


People are starving around the world and we fill up a pool with food for a TV show with the purpose of increasing the network's ratings to charge more advertisement money.

No wonder the world hates Western civilization.

EDIT: America --> Western civilization.


Picture that small town with a Kodak.


That's why we rely on Reddit Nation.  For you all to run, don't walk, to upgrade your grandparents.  :)

--Carter


**President declares national curfew, nation is furious, President doesn't respond.**

edit-Thanks for the gold!^itmightwork

edit- IT WORKED!


Say it correctly. Sauce.


I tip 30% on everything.


bahahaha hipster head hunters are the main suspect. luckily they didnt return for the pelt... i.e. your douchebag beard


I feel like I should trust you on this, but my grandpa told me to never trust a fart


I'm surprised the sister-in-law trusted him, seeing as he is the brother of her abusive husband.


I don't usually upvote novelty accounts, but when I do, it's because they confused the fuck out of me for a good 15-20 seconds before I checked their name


Please, my post was tame compared to some of the crazies.


That's going **TOO FAR**!!


I think he's getting downvoted for cheating.


The sad part is that he died young and didn't have time to change. Not every bully stays an asshole forever. Some people grow up and change


Congratulations. You got to see a pixel fly to the right, and all it cost was THE VERY INTEGRITY OF WHAT MAKES A SPEEDRUN.


Just kidding. Anything with Kirk Cameron.


I think they should rename it super poser. If someone wants to play solider, they can join the military. Otherwise, they are just a douche screaming "look at me!"


>**"He** has a nametag."


i downvoted you (with four different acounts) for the repost and i will report you to shit reddit says. brace yourself, asshole, the shitstorm is coming


See that's what would get me. All your friends that you loved so much growing up would suddenly become insufferable for like, a good decade and a bit.

Like you'd be sitting up the back in kindergarten and your friend will come up to you being annoying and wanting to finger paint and you'll be all like "FUCK OFF TIMMY I'M TRYING TO READ BUSINESS DAY YOU LITTLE SHIT."


I just lost so badly to a Korean playing Terr so naturally I dont like you or this post.


I'm a young guy and I love that joke.

I love all jokes.


Uh, no. She's 15 and has no idea what she's doing. The pedos jerking it to CP, on the other hand, know exactly what they're doing.


I can't believe more people didn't research this ridiculous hypothetical situation!


Just because something is too complicated for you to understand doesn't mean it's nonexistent lol


We're doing **our** part, are _you_?


hey you fucking nigger, just because you play a little call of duty doesn't mean you know everything about guns you worthless autistic fuck


So...
How many berets DO you have?


you have to learn how to go back to africa too


Why cant you ask for money? Tell them to fix it or buy you a new TV. This isnt like the kid drew on furniture or broke an ash tray or something, this is a full on (from what im assuming) 42+inch tv we're talking here!


I will make it short for you.

as it says here, I told him to post me proof THAT DAY and I would eat a hat, it's not my fault it took the guy three days to go outside is it?

You can read this very plainly here http://www.reddit.com/r/europe/comments/2vj090/uwalt_ua_got_a_russian_alarm_clock_this_morning/coilvza


I could always tell whenever someone had a crush on me by how vicious the "I GOT IT, MA" was.


le me used to look for le black guy, then le me took le arrow to le knee! #leLAWL!


It looks like you guys aren't a-green with each other


omg you combined alarcity and catipult! ur such a witty boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD


Herbs make fine names.

Source: Am named after an herb

Edit - my name is not Herbert or Mary Jane.


**I HOPE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND EVERYONE YOU EVER MEET DIES IN A PAINFUL TRAFFIC ACCIDENT YOU SHIT SPEWING RETARD DOG FUCKER**


Now, we live.

**Edit:** Fuck all of you.


Oh yes because people turn in their friends for larceny of imaginary money.


Screw boxers, boxer briefs FTW.


You realize "bill" is short for William.


I love how they have no good response but "omg you creeper who let you in?"


False accusations of rape and child abuse are unfortunately not rare incidents.  Did the possibility that you were allowing an innocent man (who was a victim of a vicious beating!) to die occur to you?  Obviously not, I guess.


LEMON STEALING WHORE!!!


And I am disappointed that you question my motives, call what I do nonsense and refer to it as "obnoxious, pointless, farcical, time-wasting crap," but then turn around and claim it was a "relatively minor tactical disagreement."

Oh well, it seems we both have our disappointments.


The irony of this statement is so delicious I could sell it for $30 a plate.


nazis are fascists now?...didnt know the italians hated jews so much


That sounded dangerously close to a complaint.  The drunken Thais have been dispatched to your location.


This, really. Its a common mistake so don't feel bad, but don't give hard candy to the local children unless you can also pay for their dental bills. Cambodia is a very poor country, as I'm sure you know.


(Real comments have curves.)


I like that you say 'wish you could'. Indeed, as long as there is consent it's fine!


First they came for the E's, and I did not speak out— Because I was not an E.

Thn thy cam for th othr Vowls, and I did not spak out— Bcaus I was not a Vowl.

Thn thy cm fr th Cnsnnts, nd  dd nt spk t— Bcs ws nt  Cnsnnt.

h h m m— h p m.

Edit: tried to do this on mobile, fixed my errors. Thanks /u/ehrwien

Thnks fr gld knd strngr.


This comment has been flagged to me as spam and it will be downvoted. The comment is racist and links to illegal underage porn. Neither of which will be tolerated on this site.

Did i get this right?

Please upvote me so i am able to continue to help eliminate spam from this site.


I have heard many companies complaining about similar things happening when refusing to pay Yelp. Not a cool company.


He needs to take a chill pill.  The stranger danger he's talking about doesn't apply to old ladies.


You mean you *don't* like it while I stare blankly at the ceiling with my arms by my sides...?


calling someone retarded sounds like an asshole move bra


If you don't appreciate a well-placed Wilhelm, joke's on you.


For guys it feels natural. For girls they feel like they're being watched and the only ones that are actually climbing have ripped backs. Haha


I.... think you're both right.


I trash anyones build that I feel used a bad part choice.


**Patch notes:**
*Fixed an error where the achievement* ***This Is It*** *was wrongly awarded to some players.*

Imagine the consequences...


I'm sure her friend has heard this before, but I think she looks a lot like Nicolas Cage.


http://cheezcomixed.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/2809-copy.jpg

I have posted this a few times. Never has it been this much relevant.


*SHUT THE FUCK UP*

edit: If you took this as serious you are an idiot.


Except you're not a lawyer...

Just like you're not a law student on a full ride.


Are we human or are we dancer? - Albert Einstein


Actually it does exactly the opposite- it puts having a bad game in line with other things, like afk, intentionally feeding or verbal abuse causing people to think, that those are all the same bad things that people should get reported for


I think I can manage that.


What, is there some arbitrary level of abuse where people get to judge whether other people are abused or not? I bet if someone gave their kids cigarettes and got them addicted to cigarettes people would consider that abuse.


OK, screen name police.

OMG so many downvotes my internet life is over :( :( :(


To distinguish between dinner time and being in trouble for something.


your not funny ! idiot !


This comment should be higher


Walker has said time and time and time again that he has no interest in turning Wisconsin into a right to work state.

He doesn't have a beef with private unions.  Market forces are there to keep the private unions in check, but the public workers had an unsustainable monopoly that needed to be dealt with.

Please stop spreading baseless rumors.


Well, I have seen some pretty fat lesbians.


YES. I'd trade some time in a prison camp for lifelong passes to all professional ballgames. Sure, the prisoners didn't know that'd happen at the time, and sure, it'd be traumatic as hell, but man, what a trade-off!


Better than .45s and thugs


you think your bad eh? ill downvote u shithead


Did you have to puke on the floor? My cats pull that shit all the time.


don't know why you're getting down votes,  you're right.


Because during the settlement of the plains, hunters from back east would kill entire herds of electricity, poaching the valuable amperage and leaving the voltage and Ohms to rot. This endangerment is why our electric bill is so high today.


I don't find it funny either. I literally googled "funny weed jokes" found this and posted it. Tomorrow I will make a post elaborating how ruined slack post saturday is.


He should have been banned way earlier, the fact that you were forced to go into the back room when he came in meant your boss was letting a hostile work environment exist.


Let's take a minute to recognize that the same behavior in parents is "discipline". Really it's no surprise that OP is wavering, 90% of youth face these exact types of abuse from their parents but it's called "discipline". If they think it's fine for their parents to do it, why isn't it okay for their boyfriend to do it?


Thank you. As refrigerator-kin, the previous explanation triggered me.


LmAo FuCk YeaH !!! StEaLiiiiiiNg iiiiiiiiiiiiS ThE ShiiiiiT!


What's the consensus on ass hair?


RABBLE RABBLE LYLING AND CHIK FIL A AND MUPPETS AND GAY RIGHTS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ATHEISM RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE


Well tell our moms to stop putting it in the fucking fridge


why would you assume this? maybe op is a nerd


No stories really... She was just one of those people who was weird for the sake of being weird. Anyway, here she is.

http://imgur.com/nFwFe

EDIT: For the doubters.
http://imgur.com/QC0Fo


I cant wait until someone simply ends his career.


Electrician doesn't care - he's paid by the hour.


Nice, I'll show her idiot. You could just ask what they're supposed to be.


/r/fia - Free Internet Act. We're working on it.


if you don't like himym i just feel bad for you

ps it would still be legendary


My step-dad has one of the easiest forms of blood cancer to maintain. He overproduces red blood cells, and his blood looks black. When he first started taking pills for it, he felt a little off for a few weeks, and would tell my mom things like, "Can you get the remote? My cancer hurts."

Now when he says "I have cancer," my mom says, "You have pussy cancer. Stop whining."


I used to get slain by Deadly Fire Grates, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Cut him open and count the rings!


>Yeah, /r/askhistorians is basically one of the worst subreddits

They're great as long as you don't tell the truth about afrocentrism.


Not as expensive as a wife and kids.


Good Guy Wil Wheaton wouldn't still be acting, as he is horrible at it and just ruins whatever he touches.


thank you for helping save Christmas.


Yeah man, downvotes til you do. ಠ_ಠ


With an extended mag too. He's in for quite a bad time either way.


**Guys before I leave, please visit my account history and upvote and downvote as you please**


"for the first time once" epic!


Dude, I'm getting tired of this joke.


Ttthhheee ddduuudddeee wwwaaasss fffuuulll ooofff ssshhhiiittt.


She gets shit because she lied and cheated. Simple as that.


Now empty yourself into the sock of democracy


if only the picture was lower you would see 10 cats licking his tiny little dick with one of them using his pubes as a cat mustache and another licking dried shit from his ass hairs


I'm picturing ripped future Milhouse where he's crying because it's hard to add mass to his calves


Funny.. Almost this exact situation with a woman teacher and a man working nights AND taking care of the kids (two of them!) in addition to being the breadwinner.  The wife wanted him to cook dinner also, and sleep who knows when...

I made a similar comment and was completely destroyed. Amazing what happens when gender is changed


There are no strings on her


>I think you're wrong. I don't think Munoz broke his ribs in this fight. Most kicks here don't break anything. They can smash the kidneys or, on the other side, liver an drop people like sacks, though.

Not exact the same thing, bro. IMO oztrez post is more insightful.


Shit. Fell outta my chair.


What's a book? This is what happens when we have socialist commies like Obama as president in America. People speaking gibberish are allowed to vote.


12 year olds on Facebook.

FTFY :)


My up arrow means 'I agree'.

I wanted to specifically show that it caused me to laugh.


Better yet: these aren't memes. these are pictures with text.


We don't care you Jay Leno look-alike ass bitch


I imagine a lot of them are no longer with us.


well it is mostly.  Let's not white night this.  You wear clothes to substitute for fur, but beyond that you dress to attract men.  It's not even sexist to say that because it is true for men as well.  Although you see it in one gender more than the other.

edit: comfortable furr


Yeah, people grossly underestimate their parents. Just because you were dumb as a kid doesn't mean they were dumb when you were a kid.


No it isnt. Not at all. Theyre close friends and he respects and loves her work.


Have you tried... asking?

It might just be that simple.


You had a fucking feeling it was fake, and you posted it here as truth. You're a real fuck, you know that?


I have a co-worker that does this regularly because he feels sorry for his dog for not having a girlfriend. Strange dude.


Not a very good remediation scientist if your estimated range is an entire order of magnitude...


shaved is a thinner form of sliced

*why am i not surprised that this is my most upvoted comment?


Look at his sleeve tattoo. Obviously this guy likes to be loud and noisy in his personal appearance. The watch fits.


Absolutely despicable call.

Never in a million years.


i don't want to believe that your life is that bad


My legs.. Are never, never, never... Getting back together.


Thank you good sir, you have my sword


But it's always sunny right? RIGHT?!


This needs all the upvotes.

EDIT: Wow. Lighten up ladies and gents.


My kid is going to every Chuck E. Cheese


Look, I'm just saying,

But I think SRS would be *pretty* happy with y'all taking a one-way trip to voat or whatever.


Misaki-chan!!!! I..... *eto* ...I think....maybe.....you are.....

**INTERRUPTED BY SOMETHING THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE DUE TO THE LAWS OF PHYSICS**


Doesn't make up for him being disgustingly fat.

People are more willingly to downvote me than upvote /u/ihmhi. ayyyyyy lmao


I'm still not convinced.


Oh, now you totally forgot the topic we were talking about. Well, I made my point and now I understand why you were being so mean - you're a man. But I still don't get it, what did I lie about? Do you even know what "what IF" means? Because I haven't told a lie here, not a single one.


Get off reddit grad student. Grants don't write themselves.


Grammar check! You wrote "Seems like its a sensible place to advertise seeing theres so many skinheads here already."
This should be “Seems like it's a sensible place to advertise seeing there's so many skinheads here already.”
Skinheads? You are 45 years out of date!


what do you do with a cock in your butt?


So the payment was enough for you to set aside the fact that you're there as an object.

I guess it's just not that awkward for you?
You're just there to rouse penises, for 5 seconds, before the show begins. That doesn't mean anything negative to you?


Plot twist: steal jewels, you go blind


Yes, we get the reference. Calm down.


TIL Black girls have big asses because scary black men scream at them.


also tell her she is a bit fat and should lose some weight. Actually both of you should.


I would say its more like the original Official Rosetta Stone®


Jesus fucking christ! I knew reddit was liberal, but seriously? You feel sorry for a chick on tinder looking for a sugar daddy to pay for some new tits?? Damn.


"But comrade policeman, when you're Russian for corpse meat, there's no time for Stalin!"


yeah you feel special, knowing this meme, dont you?

why dont you suck some mice you arm licking pony


While that seems implied by the title i thought his intent was to be caught for plagiarism.


Whats up with all the butthurt moralsfags on this subreddit?


Nobody tells LeBron which shoes he can wear


I agree. OP is fucked up right now, but he has a plan, resources, time to think. She just realized her life is OVER. She's desperate. She's spiraling, logic is out the window. She'll probably depend on her body/sexuality at first, until she realizes she has no power over him anymore. Then it could get dangerous. This is some *Snapped* type shit right here.


I don't know, with the World Cup just ending I'm sure more people might have known Clint as the US Team guy rather than the Xbox guy.  Instead of the PS4 refused the Xbox jersey, I look at it as the XBOX cover had a prime opportunity to double advertise


Tomorrow's lead story on Fox News: "We investigate Reddit. Is it full of assholes who pretend they love you and then make fun of you behind your back?"


When did you get a reddit, dad.


I was a BB Store Manager.  We had a collections agency, but BB only got a small portion of the money recovered.  The rest went to the agency.  It was basically a way to fuck over an asshole customer.  If someone owed under $50 it generally wasn't worth sending them to collections, unless they were a twat and you wanted to put a fucking to them.


Man, c'mon.. Chelsea was already part of the top of the table before Abramovich came along. City was a team that always placed bottom/mid at best in the league before the financial group


>When she screamed at our entire flat (me and 4 others) for letting the man in who is stalking her - or not kicking him out when we saw him in the living room.

Wait, that's perfectly reasonable...

>There was no man in the living room, nor did the man exist.

Oh.


at least I'm not a nigger


Squats are putting the nicest asses on college girls everywhere. Seriously

Edit: Thanks for the gold stranger


As a man who has a sense of humor, I respectfully request you disconnect your Internet connection.


dude, it's been an hour. you really can't just blurt out "HI! " now. get up to go to the bathroom, or if there isn't one, get something from a bag or whatever. when you're coming to sit back down, "notice" the shirt. "ha is that a reddit shirt? I'm on there way too often. " if she says yeah and nothing more, it's fine. else, just let it flow.


its better for the guard to let them drown rather than free them and risked being mauled to death by 100s of pissed off prisoners. If I were a cop, better them drown than risk my life saving someone who might kill me.


Gabe took them for lunch. This was 1/3 of the way through lunch


I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling Redditors!


Because there's a big difference in seeing titties, and getting titties in your mouth.


This!

Edit: So many tears....


I am a 20 year old male and I've NEVER had that happen before! Maybe tucking them back in between my legs and laughing at my new found, albeit temporary vagina, but that's about it.


I'd be happy if you were out of service. Most useless novelty account ever... upvote if you agree!

By the way, he [already referenced it](http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/qs8xv/i_remember_when_you_were_both_babies/c4010qm), retard (-:


that's so neat!  thanks!!


keep your hate groups to yourselves please.  We just want to smack stupid faces here.


Not to mention super vague personal questions

"Y DOES MY BOYFRIEND NOT LIKE IT WHEN I BUY SUSHI?"


YES. Comment of the day right here ladies and gentlemen.


I'm not connected to these people in any way, I know none of them, but I would like to thank you for what you do. Emergency Medical professionals are heroes in my eyes. It wasn't the dark knight that saved the day this time, it was you guys.


Upvoting this so more people see it.


That's when you go into the restaurant and tell everyone eating there was they just did. Shame these fucks.


how does it feel being a whore?


Highly-trained SAS agents are converging on your location, /u/rcking1110, prepare your anus.


Eh, there's a few things you're doing here that annoy us, including (a) engaging in "outreach" to redditors, (b) speaking on the sub's behalf.


Yes. We are doing sequel. And also 3-d, eventually.


The gulf of maturity between a 15 year old (first year of high school) and a 19 year old (1st or 2nd year of university) is fucking massive. Don't be a 19 year old and fuck a 15 year old. Its not that hard.


"Do you want a fish tank?"
"No, I'm a pacifist"


Your comment on the other hand will go into /r/todayibullshitted because people hyperbolically say that everything they see is the best in a looooong time.


...and I'm serial killer Rob Lowe


OP is named NsfwGilrLife. Its a Girl. To build real sexual tension, and anticipation it takes more then a few seconds. Girls like that.  You would know that if you were not either, 1 not some high school kid. Or 2 someone with little to no real sexual experience. That is why it takes a min, to build sexual tension. Forplay is for real.


How badly do you want an A?


Clinton inherited the Reagan-Bush economy and end of the Cold War. It took him eight years to f**k it up. That's why Bush inherited a bad economy, and turned it around with his "tax cuts for the rich" (that is, tax-cuts for investors who create jobs and pay the social security and welfare benefits of everybody else).


You cold-hearted son of a bitch


Jesus Christ, Watson, you're not meant to put fire on the catapult! Now the whole thing's ablaze!

What would your mother say? &#3232;\_&#3232;


In 100,000 years of human language, I'm sure this is the first time that sentence has been written.


And there wasn't even much to start with.


Bonus points if you use a real body.


Exactly.

No principles.

Lefties (read: suckers) aren't going to fall for it any more.

And now conservatives know that what Komen is really about is funding abortions with fraudulent "breast cancer" solicitations.

Don't donate to breast cancer charities. They're fronts for Planned Parenthood abortionists. That's the take-away message.

Enjoy your radical mastectomies, ladies!


Seriously. It's just the routine at this point. You know all the inside jokes in the comments, and every time I see them I resent the time I spend on the site but yet I browse through every day.


/u/heiligenschein is your friend, as is the crew modding /r/splc. Don't deny your neo-nazi pals, you promoted their subreddit just a little bit ago.


Parrots imitate, breh.


omg best comment ever

edit: daaaayyyummm all aboard the downvote train!


The worst part is, they're trying to be good parents, defending their kids and all. They just don't realize they're doing more harm than good. At least that's what I choose to believe. They could just be assholes, for all I know.


Actually I thought of this exact joke when I saw the guy stuck on the hydrant picture. I found this on my search to see if someone else made the joke yet.

Two people thinking of a joke isn't that rare.


Is that a really creepy child or a really creepy old man in the front there?


This is clearly TSM fans being sore losers and it's pretty sad.

In before massed downvotes.


To me it's the "number sign".


how did you get out? are you fine? will they send you to a concentration camp for this?

 lol


The fact that the phenomenon is genuinely called "spaghettification" is amazing as well.


Oh wow he's so cool that he doesn't give a fuck. Like that cool Nick Diaz, maybe he'll be really cool and give so little of a fuck that he loses the fight, that would be like the most cool don't give a fuck thing ever!


"Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Matthew 5:27-28.

you do realise that if youve masturbated to somebody married you may as well of screwed them and ruined their life. I will enjoy watching you all burn in hell


Lol genius mom. Dude just soak a bunch of them in vodka. Or other types of alcohol.


You didnt know moms get high? How else do you think we bake all day, do crafts and sing song with our kids?!


Did anyone ask you what condition you have that causes your arms to grow all the way down to your feet?


I personally find your rejection of male privilege as it applies to history, particularly in the context of how the patriarchy have twisted the meaning of misandry, quite offensive.


As a father I have to agree with this. My son could be having interracial 3-ways with random men he meets while dressed as a transvestite stripper and I'd still take a bullet for him without a second thought. What the fuck is wrong with these people?


They'll think it's anthrax or something.


You're a a political Conservative who follows cage fights. It's a given that reading books wouldn't be inside your circle of activities. Never fear; new experiences are always out there.


> "And YOU! PUT THESE ON!" as he shoves my glasses in my face.

*"I want you to SEE how pathetic you are!"*


What an insightful comment. Thank you for speaking such wise words I would never have thought of myself.


Jurassic Parks & Recreation

Edit: Gold? Really? Haha, thanks I guess!


This just goes to show you that Batman and other shows like it really are poisoning the minds of our youth to go batshit crazy and go on gun sprees. Like that one asian kid way back when CoD first started getting really popular. Sigh, everyone in that theater deserved it, but I wish the gunmen only got to shoot more of them.


No, she just had to move to the next stall. That one is occupied.


ohh yeah,  he really showed her... by knocking her the fuck out..totally...WTF is wrong with you?


Sidekicks rarely get the recognition they deserve.

Edit: oddly enough, I'm the sidekick to the person who posted this...


I'll never understand people who buy console remakes


Yeah, that would be NSFL


Just go to YouTube dude (no duh) ha ha.

You literally don't need to ask these questions ever again lmao


Best fucking question and answer on this thread.


Say all you want about America, but we never have "shooters on the run". We have shooters dead. *Consistently,* for better or for worse.


STAND BACK OR I'LL HAVE AN EATING DISORDER RIGHT NOW. DON'T PUSH ME


i usd to be in the theives guild but tehn i took an arrow to the knee lmao XD

**downvotes? its a meme u retards**


More often than not, the random average redditor you come across is a bitter nerd.


> Affluenza

Does affluenza equal white privilege taken to an extreme?


Don't forget to add in one "It's Not Unusual."


If only there was some way to view his criminal history or look at his gang tattoos...


This is hilariously unrealistic.

It would be like Chinese netizens thinking America is due for a revolution because of the NSA, police brutality, and legalized bribery. Even if we grant everything you said as true, do you think the average Chinese person would care to do anything about it? If there's one thing that transcends national and ethnic barriers, it's laziness.


Yup, that's the title of the imgur album


Oh let me just get on the girlfriend train and ride it into girlfriendville where I can freely pick from all the girlfriends


The game works for me. You can't just say that it doesn't work.


Nothing phenomenal but I suppose it's easy to talk to 7 year olds. I liked his story about his dogs though


its the closest thing I could find that was videogame related for the meme "feels soo good"


Yes I have 2 hearing brothers and a grandma in the house.


Gay people deserve equal rights.


The Mass-Sass Principle.


Because it's just fucking stupid to downvote a legitimate strategy discussion. I really usually don't care all that much and don't use the upvote or downvote system but it's pretty clear the system is broken incarnate.


I don't even know her and I now miss her too.


Is that not what this entire website is based on?


The step-motherfucking games are all fine and dandy until we find out that bitch basically drugged this kid. That's a huge red flag.


Well, you really dont participate at all. You only watch. I see the whole thing as pointless, tbh. But people did want them for some reason..


Running water. We used to use a cistern or a well to gather water.  I remember the first time my father installed a faucet and oh my goodness, I felt like we had won the lottery!


Or.. he IS face palming and he IS nonchalant. Your assumptions are as valued as everyone elses.
I wouldnt be able to be pulled from my wifes side. She is laying there, alone. Like a slab of meat.
Could be the timing of the picture.. could be the guy is relieved. Who the hell knows.

"He stood, stunned...."


Seriously, you can't more cut and dry than this. If anything, thank her for making it so obvious for you. It is better than dragging it out and finding out when you have much more invested in your relationship.


I also watched the video


You really dodged a bullet there.


If you're American, your country kills people with poison, electricity and torture. If you're not, there are many barbarians in all countries, not just Muslims. Just saying.

edit - shitty comment from me. A weak point, badly made.


In this world, that is all it takes to prove you are "smart".  Way to beat the system


And the other part conservatives haven't really touched on is the justification of slavery through Christianity...


The SWAT team would probably be called in if you tried this today.


good. look I love hear audience gasp. was the the going you face but man his can also to and instantly oh it I mention member so who them and on is old is this realizes


This happens regularly and is not limited to Americans. A Russian guy was fined $25,000 this past November for the same thing.


I know, and look at Obama. Even less experience than Bush II.


This thread is going to be such a treat; it even has a cherry on top!


ARE YOU SAYING ALL DEMOCRATS ARE STUPID?!?! ohhhhhhhh MAKA ME SO MAD


I could have sworn it is *Halfrican-American*. Atleast here in the States.


>two and a half

men men men men many men men men

meeeeeennnnnnnn


I agree. I laughed at this, but I can live a while longer without needing a kid.
Once I can afford one though, bam, I'm getting a dog.


I used to make fun of Warlizard, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I'm going to do this to my kids one day.
EDIT: So, this is my most upvoted comment in 7 months on Reddit? I'll never understand you guys...


The question everyone is pondering is did he let you ride his "motorcycle?"


For my thesis I made a rage comic about how stupid Mitt Romney.

edit: is


As long as u dont die, u wont be behind


I'm a time traveller but I only have proof I'm from the past


After 4 years he has done something other than feed


Not a teacher, but I knew a girl who had about 20 joints rolled in her shirt pocket, bent over in class to pick up a pencil and they all fell out. As the teacher turned around she threw a book at the blackboard in the corner of the room as a diversion and managed to pick them all up.
Somehow did all this while high as fuck with a big dumb grin the whole time


seems like your jimmies were rustled...


"Actually I have no idea, I always wonder how she keeps doing that."

*awkward silence*


All the downvotes. Take 'em.


Those are not my teeth and that is not my bush baby. Truer words have never been spoken.


Well, it is pretty gosh darn revolutionary. It's like you're saying women are people too or something, I don't think Reddit's ready for that


Show then tell. Show them your passion. Science is the best ideas humans have had (so far). Let your people see it for themselves. Science Rules.... the universe, and that includes us.


The Zerg are basically just bio-Borg. Come to think of it, I'm a little disappointed that I've never heard Kerrigan say "Resistance is futile."


More importantly, ever masturbated to one of your own videos.


I think that after killing the animals, killing herself was the only appropriate thing to do. He and the world are better off with her, and her bad genes buried 6 feet under a cemetery.


this one NEEDS to happen. We should start a cause to get some virgin redditor laid by amypage. I'd donate $10


stop defending him, Hes a professional and he wants to banter ? Disgraceful


*Song: Whiggas in Paris*

*Album: Fuck Britain, Get Money*

*Artist: B.F. Banklin feat. The General George "G Dub" Washington and DJ Jazzy T. Jeff*

*Revolutionary Records, LLC*


He's still 'le cum in child man' to me

edit: downvotes really?


What the fuck is wrong with your friend, he misses all the terrible puns, the unoriginal novelty accounts as well as the circlejerk. He probably has a girlfriend as well?
What a fucking weirdo.


You need to make up your mind on wether they were or weren't.  You keep changing your answer.

> They were not actually Nationalist Socialists

> Her parents were "officially" but she was a child at the time.

> You're assuming they were nationalists when they weren't by choice

I'm quoting you BTW


>make like a horse's dick and hit the trail.

I can honestly say I have never heard that before, but will be using that again.


Not as much as the pathetic OP.


The atheist box is a fedora.


Room mate abuse? Because I don't think I can't would care all that much if the corner of a room has shit chilling there.


Exactly. The only person who would think it was weird to try milk from another species is a person who has never been hungry. A day without food, and you'd be watching a calf nurse and thinking, "I wonder if she'd kick me if I tried that?"

Then you realize that a cow is a machine that turns grass into goddamn cheese, and you never look back.


Theoretically, could an MMA fighter be charged with assualt for doing that stuff to a person's face? Or are there different laws in a ring than outside of it?

EDIT: You guys are idiots if you think laws don't apply to fighters. What, you think if a fighter accidentally kills someone in the ring they couldn't get arrested for manslaughter?


A lot of Muslims believe that Jews staged the holocaust to gain sympathy or some crazy shit

*edit: I live with a muslim family and attend jummah prayers every friday and I hear this opinion so often I've forgotten how ludicrous it sounds, so many of them are conspiracy theorists.


And I shall be the one that takes this one comment too far and gets downvoted for it!


Are.....are you going to eat any of that?


Because he's an elitist who thinks that everyone knows what The Black Knight does.


That's what you get for dating a Capulet~~e~~.

Edit: I love gooooold! *eats skin flake*( ooh that was a good one! )

Also I have shamed my English teachers with my speeling. :(


Nope, but never seen *that* before.  It's fine though, more excited for Shameless anyway :/


Hawk? Red tailed hawk.

Eagle? Red tailed hawk.

Giant fantasy eagle? Red tailed hawk.

Mountain? Red tailed hawk.

Desert? Red tailed hawk.

Seagul? Red tailed hawk.

Jungle anywhere in the world? Peacock.

Lake anywhere in the world? Loon.

Trees+darkness? Whoo whoo, owl!


It's fine, he has enough of a board to last him 3-4 turns where he can build up cards again.

Edit: Your downvotes only make me stronger


You made dinner reservations for one on Valentine's Day? That's confidence

If not, good luck


Hahaha hilarious lmao im peeing - you implied that I'm a woman hahaha ROFL look at this guy because clearly being a woman is bad and inferior

ALL OF THE UPBOATS TO YOU GOOD SIR!!


Using a comma as a decimal point is the worst thing since hitler.


Especially for racist psychos who get off on killing brown people.


I was young.  Oh, and really really stupid.  Mostly stupid.

Goddamnit.


This is my rifle, this is your bum...


I bet the managers annoyed. If he'd gotten away with it, he'd be chairman by now.
Edit: Thanks for the gold kind stranger.


or else ... you get ALL MY UPVOTEES


I KNOW WHERE THAT PHOTO WAS TAKEN I'VE WALKED ON THAT SAME SIDEWALK OMG. breath.


Okay.  Sorry, I don't mean to hijack this thread, [but this has already been done](http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/7oaxh/experiment_how_old_is_the_average_redditor_vote/).


I was gonna say to rub his naked body against the window, but yeah, your idea's good, too.


Cynical bastards like you belong on /r/thathappened not on general reddit. Seriously, if you doubt everything, you should just doubt your own existence. Then you can quit bothering the rest of us as you ponder whether you can even make any noise that we can hear.


debade here, this guy is a real weirdo.


But better then having none. A hundred Betty's agree.


"my cheeseburger doesn't have any pickles on it"

"have you tried rebooting it?"


I have a feeling the pond would have evaporated or drained away in the 23 years between games...


Someone pulled "the customer is always right" on me once, and I asked, "If I refuse to sell you anything, are you really a customer?"


Who also can't make good games.


dogs who don't know that they're dogs.


why don't you go rape a child or something, you pedo faggot. go to fucking hell.


Be careful. If the wizard is evil you will end up with the comunication skills of a 10 year old!


To tell him he didn't have to delete his account. I thought it was a bit rash. I was just being a bit of a jerk, I wasn't even right in my arguments.


Most of my fantasies exist *because* I wouldn't want to act them out.

Taboos have a natural tendency to be sexualized.  And in all cases, being told "you can't do that" is the most sure way to get a lot of people interested in doing it.


I don't think you guys are smelly!  I enjoy the aroma of rum!


confirmed

source: laid off from oil refinery, blizzard contacted me immediately


People ...these used to be ...people...


Ironic that we've [seen those smiles somewhere before](http://i.imgur.com/jWqe2.gif).


I stopped myself from quoting a movie which shouldn't exist


I actually say "oh for fucks sake" out loud and people often ask me what's wrong.

EDIT: TIL we're all a bunch of awkward regretful people


i upvoted u. Most redditors dont really have outside lives, hence, the meetups and such.


Finding your body is a fairly significant sign as well.


I think you're a fag.


I would take one of these for free.


&#3232;\_&#3232;

Have some respect please.  That's not a question you should ever ask a Veteran.


"...cost me billions of dollars, has the longest, widest tube in the world and there's a chance it might explode and kill me."
"You talking about the LHC?"
"That's no large hadron collider, that's my wife!"


Why the fuck do you own pets if you can't afford their care? Fuck. What the hell is with Reddit and defending people who are shitty irresponsible pet owners *as long as they're redditors*? Fuckholes.


Obligatory yeast infection comment


i threw up a little then returned that piece of shit


With Sasha Baron Cohen playing the prophet


go to school. get a legitmate job, like everyone else


I had a rectal exam once. It didn't go so well.

Apparently the doctor was having a bit of trouble with some blockage, so he put one hand on my shoulder to help with leverage. I could tell it was going badly when he put his other hand on my shoulder as well.


Another feminist-styled - man stupid, woman strong, independent - Hollywood movie, where they correctly predict the guy will spend $20+ with dinner, to take his girlfriend to see.


LOL for there being a time when a whole GROUP of people at a party could understand dirty jokes made in morse code.


I'm the hero you guys need!


Reddit--getting shit done in 2012.


It wasn't 5-3, Arsenal didn't score  and we scored 6. Not sure what you mean by 5-3 buddy


Freddie Gibbs has told me all about Gary.


DAE came here to say this?


Why not unused condoms?


hey dude, dude, dude ! guess what ? lol ur not funny. byyyyeeeeee

**EDIT Y U NO UPVOTE ?!?!?!**


I see you too went to all of the school dances in the early 2000s.

Edit: To everyone complaining about the date, I quote from wikipedia: "(the Cotton Eyed Joe) is a traditional American country folk song popular at various times throughout the United States and Canada...".


Maybe try a different subreddit then? I'm also not being sarcastic.


Gets presented with these options... Dies.


lulz.  10 internets to you.


I thought I installed adblock...


>She deserved it.

Because simple indecency merits battery.

Right.


Girls are just the worst.


Fanart does not equal original. It's just fanart. I mean [seriously](https://www.google.com/search?q=zelda+tattoo&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=y3sET62RIcORiQLfh7yqBA&biw=1046&bih=684&sei=zXsET4jrBqmviQLo4dXQDg)


Must have been the Old Spice baby.


How is he a cunt? This and Taylor Swift? Anything else?


> i still banged her

good man.


I'm pretty sure it says "At least this isn't a Gardevoir post"


> Have you played Kerbal Space Program?

What do you think SpaceX uses for testing software?


You're being downvoted because /u/youngmakeupaddict has made a post about you [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/muacirclejerk/comments/2s86z5/im_starting_to_get_really_angry_at_this_brown/) on MUACJ with a direct link to this comment line.


Well, in all of your friends' [faces.](http://i.imgur.com/YbBPJ.jpg)


In what sick world is feeding any living creature garbage from McDonalds an act of kindness?


Wow dude that's like the best piece of advice and most well written I have ever seen in these treads. I don't even have a vagina but I nearly slid off my seat reading this.


Dogs can't sweat and are meant for sprints. Not long walks or runs. Their body gives out quicker than a human.

This is just a cruel owner not knowing the limits of their own dog.


That makes me Grimace.


ferrari have cheated so much over the years, he deserves it


As a male I just beg.


whaaaaaaaat

There, I said whaaaaaaaat. Happy?


This is the important thing. Sony's pretty much saying, "I guess you guys can use him," when Marvel knows Sony needs Marvel's help.


I see a gif with ugly white bars on it. It's like saying a gif that starts at 240p and goes to 480p makes it look 720p. It's a cheap optical illusion.


This is not where I thought this was going after 'Catholic school', 'priest'...


but done in the correct way because it basically shows how stupid tumblr feminists are when they use that for such trivial things


"You may... kiss the bride."

"I think I'm good."


No it's not. Male rapists, and especially high-ranking male rapists, are assumed innocent *beyond all reasonable degree*. Every possible tactic is used to make them seem innocent. "It's rape if she says it is" is the only possible defense in the current climate.


I'm expecting this to be Gavin Free's next Worms name


It was via modmail and this thread was deleted with Violentacrez's permission for just drawing in srd trolls like you. Further replies will be ignored.


Huh... One of these days I might do this at job interview.

"OHOHO Heeyyy buddy! Long time no see! Wow so you're the big boss now huh? You always were smart."

They'll feel so bad about not remembering me they'll have to hire me!

^(Or see right through my shit and have me escorted from the premises.)


you're so angry because this post gave me more karma than you ever had.


I'm 25 now. When I was 19, I realized this was true of cake.

"Whose birthday is it?" "NOBODY'S! I'm an adult with a small amount of expendable income, dammit! Now give me the cake!"

Don't do this with cake. It removes the magic of cake.


*I know this joke isn't funny, but I thought it was clever, so I'll say it anyway. Please do not kill me.*

He can't keep it inside, he's too loose.


It's pretty damn popular for a "perversion by extremists."


you are another typical homophobic moron who likes to split communities


>  but it'd get mentioned on big internet hubs like reddit or 4chan.

DAE not sneeze??


This was a creative way to display your collection without conforming to **le** boring laid-out photos on here. Nice work


Society progresses one funeral at a time.


No I am me. What he said was retarded, what I said was 100% valid. But anywho, probably just another idiot who thinks that making fun of someone, who made a completely valid and appropriate comment, is actually making them popular.


Everyone assumes everything on 4chan is fake until proven true. Also, anonymity really shows what monsters we can really be.


fake as fuck, look at the antlers in the back, I can't believe you hicks eat this shit up.

oh wait, its because your rednecks who dont know the internet like most of us do... [mind blown!](http://i.imgur.com/P8wubqY.gif)


So she went down with the ship?


"She's better than you"

"not you specifically "

Ok. Gotcha.


As a black guy, I can only imagine how badly y'all fucked up his head before he was desensitized.


Are they cool in person? I've heard they're not good friends outside of the band


"I counted every shingle one of them"


No.  It's impossible to think (at least correctly) that you are trapped in poverty and there is absolutely nothing you can do to get out (at least in places like the US, Europe, the like).


They threw money at him in disgust.


I used to rate predictable stories, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Well how the hell did he get here in the first place!?


Gets you so high though, you should try it.


A, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, J, Q, K.

13 card numbers to represent the 13 months of the year.


If you say it was irony, I will take my Dowvote back.


>say the most popular opinion on reddit

-
>say "I may receive hate for this"

-

>get 100 upvotes anyways


It's an affirmation  of being unemployable. It's the lifestyle of being a warehouse worker.


There are definitely Weapons of Mass Destruction in ~~Iraq~~ Iran that can be deployed in 45 minutes.


This is fucking great please make it to the top comment


Wow, fuck Mrs. Vance.


Yeah but it's not like a dating site or something hehe. Lots of the posts that people submit aren't even the women in the pictures/video. She still found it pretty uncomfortable though.


Why do they make them *taste so good*?

I, too, ate three in one day. I was hovering off of my chair. No poops, just ALL of the farts.


Dude just admit PC is better, it'll make you feel better.


New York, where you have to be rich just to be broke.


This. This right here.


If I have one complaint about Shakespeare, it's how obscure his work is.


Yech, it's the worst when 45 year old hausfraus like you try to be witty.


See, I'm an atheist and I think this guy's a cool guy. Nevermind whether or not it actually made a difference to an afterlife that may or may not exist; he made it so that these people died without regrets of fears, and that's very nice of him.

Edit: Obligatory "this shitty comment I made while redditing in bed before going to sleep became my most upvoted anything by 645% of 2nd place" edit.


A Misogynist using gendered slurs. Quelle surprise!


Need someone to spend your life with? Why not Zoidberg?


I loved how you could sort of read her lips. It's as if she was actually saying it.


It looked like a horn.  It was on a box.  You picked the horn up and winded up like a windless on a well -- they way they used to draw water up.  It had a thing you wind with that stuck out of the box and you would wind and an operator would say, "Hello, may I help you?"  I used to pay 10 cents at Spot Harper's store to use it.


/sarcasm?

Lack of professionalism and safety are not exactly high on the list of qualifications when it comes to science. He could very well be out of a job by now if his teaching methods continued down this path.


It probably pays better and it's a bit more honest.


I feel dirty and violated like you watched me change or shower....


Well yeah, not anymore.


GOO GAH Gah whe WAN sheh GAA boo!!!!!!!!! DADY No touch ME there!!!!!!!!!!!! But then i took a arrow to da knee!


he must have conserved it elsewhere.


Don't read the comments if you don't like them.


I always liked "Bitch, real G's move in silence like lasagna."


I have already went ahead and emailed the local shelters here with a description of the dog. I am just really concerned about my GF because she was absolutely hysterical and was having an anxiety/panic attack when she kicked me out.


Similar. I've killed multiple bees with scissors by cutting them in half while flying

Edit: so they were actually yellow jackets. Please stop calling me a terrible person, commenters.


or rather, completely misses the point.