It's ok, it's not his place. It appears he can't even get inside the main door.


Well, I think that pretty  much wraps up this thread.  Holy F'ing shit.


> Backup cashiers are generally expected to be helping customers on the floor. Expecting them to respond right away every time means that they might dump a customer they were helping when the call goes out. Not good.

If you can't finish helping a customer or hand them off to someone else in 5 minutes you are not very good at your job.


Have you ever had a dream? That you, um, you had, your, you, you could, you-uh you'll do, you, you wants, you, you could do so, you , you'll do, you could, you, you want, you want them, to do you so much, you could do anything?


Why post a recap of the video in the comments area for said video? Anybody who is here most likely already watched it.


> The employee who hit the women, Rayon McIntosh, has been cleared of all charges after claiming he acted in self-defence.

Oh god, I'm justice cumming.


It doesn't change the fact that this is old news and not even correct information.


Secret midnight cheetos, that's where.


LOL

Why make this thread if you're not trying to rile up the public?

Literally nobody would care if this was two guys in an argument, but make it "mods versus users" and suddenly there's an injustice element people want to bandwagon on.


Missing reason #1:

Corporate MONEY in Politics


Yeah DAE hate the Chive? I hate how they force me to go on their site and look through the galleries. They steal everything from reddit, nevermind the fact that reddit is third-party sharing platform. Jesus, every time anything Chive is referenced, someone has to bitch about it.


This is the first time in my entire life that I've encountered a story about people having sex with bread.


WOW!  I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA!


I think you mean protein torpedoes.


as an american, this can't happen. 'MURICA!


Ambien also causes some people to sleepwalk and sleep-eat.
Much like the time I took my Ambien and my wife found me standing at the refrigerator butt ass naked at 3am eating slices of cheese one by one.
I no longer take Ambien.


On the bright side, he hasn't quite gotten up to Kanye levels of shitheaddedness. (Yay, I invented a word!)


*Don't believe me just watch*


holy shit dude have all my upvotes... i will never see another gif been used so perfectly as this one once was.... i still can't stop laughing in the middle of work...


Look in the middle of the page where it says "Automatic renewal: ON".  The word ON is a link that doesn't underline until  you hover over it.  Click it then click Next on the next several pages until you get the option to remove the auto-renewal.


Yep, just in time to then go back overseas and probably leave her and the child to fend for themselves. What a swell fella!


Your first sentence made me angry. Then I read on and decided you're a genius.


All I needed to unsub. Thanks automoderator bot!


That's like... Next level stupid.


Yes, he gets credit.  That credit should come in the form of avoiding any charges he would have faced for trying to cover up his crime.

Seriously, decisions like his need to have consequences.  Check your target before you pull your trigger:  People who don't do that need to pay *heavily*.  Doing otherwise is not an "honest mistake" by any measure.


Nah it's kinda cute.


Teacher caught a kid plagiarizing, I don't understand how anyone finds this shit funny.


To be fair, alcohol is toxic to humans too.


Almost as witty as the guy who asked if OP got the screenshot.


>I've been living in boston for the last few months and getting a proper cup of tea here can be a nightmare.

That's ironic! You'd think there'd be plenty of tea in Bost-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.


Why vote for the *lesser* evil?


Hate to break it to you but the pup is next in line.


This show isn't that funny and that episode in particular was absolute dog shit. It's the perfect bro costume, though. Popular TV show AND you get to have your shirt off all night!


> MEN & WOMEN - ELVES slim, athletic, 5'5" - 6'4" (165 - 203cm)

Surely it would've been easier to cast humans and dress them up like elves


The dumbest thing is making analogies that make no sense. If this was the case I would be saying Twitch was at fault. What's next you gonna side with Azubu when someone spectates faker and streams it on Twitch? Haha there is no arguing the point is, dont fucking get mad all over the internet when you do something others don't do for a reason.


They generally have to just design a tattoo to go over-top of it in darker colors.  It's like making the best of a bad situation, idiot.


Why oh why is this not the top comment!


In the Philippines, did you know what we called the shit that returned after flushing? A MacArthur


Post the video directly next time. Thank you.

EDIT: This is amazing. I'm not even going to delete this comment.


*"Look at me, I'm Milhouse! I tuck my shirt into me underpants! I've got no friends, so I confide in Willie!"*


Oyster mushrooms, I think. They look similar as far as I can tell.


Did you...did you just stick up for Americans on reddit? My bald eagle just shed a single large tear after delivering my KFC. Thank you.


Rivers and Manning were in the same draft. Brees situation had nothing to do with Manning.


       T
     .-"-.
    |  ___|
    | (.\/.)
    |  ,,,'
    | '###
     '----'


Sometimes I wonder if I could ever get reddit to erase all my karma in a thread like this. 10000+ is a tall order.


"I ain no bloody racist ya cunts oi?"


The problem is that he's not giving credit to the original source and claiming it as his own by omitting that information until someone calls him out on it and then changing his story. It's dishonest.


You reposting neckbeard, someone else said this once, probably.


Welcome back shitty_watercolour! We havnt missed you :-D


Are you sure he wasn't giving you the "thanks, jerk, now i HAVE to buy the bubbles" look?


Congratulations, tell it to someone who gives a fuck.


If we find this guy, could we strap a generator to his cock and get free energy?


Congratulations you just won the internets.

EDIT: -53 points! I downvoted myself to help the cause! Thanks to everyone for supporting me so far!


>Random people in the street call me Osama

Did that happen in a grocery store? If so, the guy mixed you up with his friend that's really called Osama, he's sorry.


It would have a point if the thing were classifiable as a girl.


"Millions of families suffer every year!"


Not even. When he's off form or tired, Giroud is by far the most lethargic striker in the Prem.


It was a short event...


Advise to you. when you come to U.S for your telemarketing training make sure bring some condoms with you. We don't make your size here or you can import it from India.

[Source:](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/6161691.stm)

EDIT: WTF why fucking down votes. I gave you fucking source and still you fucking whores down vote me.


How about somebody con him and give him a ride to the police station


Same comment from saffiedine thread, how about something original?


Well that introspected quickly.


What Joss Wheadon has to do with Avengers?

Edit: strangely i missed that.


Now do it with a period at the end like this ----> .


They essentially replaced him with an affirmative action hire.  I'm sure he thinks there are other 'better' goalkeepers that the Bruins passed up in order to draft him.


The people from "Community" called and checked my availability at one point. But, John Goodman got the part. I always lose parts to him. We're very alike.


What's wrong? Can't figure out the single equal sign with a line through it?

I see all the virgins on reddit came here to downvote me for making a joke. What a bunch of losers.


If this is a dark secret then we're all going to hell.


**I JUST SENT $100 TO SARAH PALIN IN HIS HONOR. SHES GOT A LITTLE RETARDED (alive) BOY TOO.  THINK OF IT AS A DONATION TO TRIG IN DOWNEYS NAME.**


i mostly fist bump or kiss on the mouth


HA HA HA

I GET THIS JOKE


TIL Kool-Aid man poops.


True. It sounds like there's more to this story than the FBI is letting on.


Those sneaky motherfuckers


A little camera recorder thing...
The more I hear/see you the more I hate you.


Oooooh. Good question.

I think Chris McKenna had the idea last year to send them to Vegas. We could never afford to do that. Pierce takes Abed to Vegas to try and "Rain Man" him at the casinos, and the gang has to bring Abed back. Special guest star: Chris Angel?


the ski slope party mum is one of those crazy mums, I'd like to see how much karma that crazy mum has got on reddit, Im guessing 300 link karma at most, and maybe 25 comment karma.

she aint worth fussing over.


I agree. Instead of the standard one-arm lean, it's now gonna be the Hamburg lean. Leaning your whole side of your body and urinating. I wonder which direction people would prefer.


HAHAHAHAHAH LOLOLLOL XD GREAT MEME MAN, SO CLEVER!


What the actual fuck.


He suggested that OP should test for rabies and subsequently said that the only way to test for rabies is to kill the animal.  In fact, they not only kill it, the have to cut the head off to check the spinal fluids


I'm terrible. This made me laugh out loud. "A gold star for you. Here have some poison."


MY MOMMMY SAYD DAT SHE SAW DIS ON DA 9GAG TWO DAIES AGO!!!!!!!!!!! YOLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This would make my life


As opposed to figuratively never doing that before... Why is "literally" such a pet word for abuse by Americans?


There's 'I was poor and uneducated so I robbed a store at gun point and shot and killed a few people in the process'

Then there's 'I was bored so I decided to sexually assault a granny and make her drink bleach'


NOW KISS!!!!

Edit: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


well, i made [this](http://imgur.com/CTR7q) not only did i edit the video in photoshop I am also the director of this the news show form my university


Yes, she was boss of the radiology department.


i cant see why. the kid enjoys something, so you make sure he cant do it for absolutely no reason? sounds retarded and arbitrary.


It would be a fantastic time for America.  The debate between Ron Paul and Barack Obama would be as authentic and thoughtful as any of us have seen in our lifetimes.


This is the oddest karma train I have ever jumped on.


"popped a huge boner"

Someone is modest


hello sivir

edit: wtf downvoted for greeting someone? that hivemind


Who wouldn't want shittier versions of shitty songs sung by shitty children singers?


yeah. :) but it's too bad about that part where his daughter is a whore. :(


That award goes to the person in this thread who didn't realize he had a tree in his backyard for five years.


> ddoséd

> DDosD'd

Do you guys even know how hard it is not to make fun of you right now? :(

BTW: its "Distributed Denial of Service". Go ahead and figure the correct acronym out for yourselves.


Pepperidge Farm remembers.


How is going to the club "fun" ? The loud music can damage your hearing, and their alcohol is probably much more expensive than a liquor store's.


It's not delivery. It's DiGiorno™.


American Football is a sport? I thought it was men dressing themselves up in padding because they're too afraid to play a real sport like Rugby or Gaelic Football or Ozzie Rules...

* Edit: A tongue in cheek comment about American Football is now my most downvoted comment ever. This is fun. I wonder what would happen if I said something **really** bad about it....


Every single asian person has the same father.

Source: I'm asian.


because i'm an asshole

and reddit is shit stir CRAZY when it comes to politics!!

Fuck the whole region


> "Colonel, I don't want your watch." He said, "you're not going to get my watch." I wore that watch for about 12 years.

Pure. Gold.


Americans.

^^^I'll ^^^show ^^^myself ^^^out.


As a former cashier, I can confirm that we are not sorry for the inconvenience.


so you have watched a video where people are clearly blowing the hat up into the air and you are still telling sai911 they are wrong? The internet is a retarded place...


Now it's time for him to take his kayne rest


I used to have a monitor, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


So your angel was telling you to slap that bitch?


Just because he is fine with it doesn't mean it was a moral decision.


There's no chance to resist the opportunity to peel something off of something


Still a fad, sure their hearts are in the right place but it's a fad.


Am I the only woman who thinks seeing men with their children is adorable?  I love watching fathers interact with their little ones.  Back me up here, ladies.


I mean, he gives me shoulder and back massages to relax my body.  Does that not count?


whats your address so i can send you flowers


Milk isn't cheap, and they also have to pay for labor etc.  I doubt they made a profit on this.

Edit: lol downvotes.  Take note of the 'etc.'. See those toppings?

edit 2: down to the bottom! wwwweeeeeeee!


Who gives a shit. U gamers fags are fucking tools. This bitch is not cool or special. U socially inept reddit faggots need to go chug bleach. There is absolutely nothing cool about video games, they are for 10 year olds. So if ur into the same things as 10 year olds ur probably a pedophile


>***un-click***

Didn't want you getting stuck bud


ROFL, you beat me to it by 21 minutes.   :)


Maybe not. Maybe he just got some kisses.


no, r/ainbow is not nice, it just appeals to your idiot ciscracker senses because nobody is challenging your dumb opinions

once again, another fucking cracker comes in talking about how they should be in charge of everything. all you people are the fucking same.


"It doesn't mix with herpes medication."


its ones and zeroes that she owns the copyright to


You win.  Everything.  Forever.


No shit, you fucking retard.


I came home from school one day to find that my dad left a crockpot size pot of eggs boiling. Eggs were fucking everywhere. I have some pictures somewhere if anyone cares to see them.

Edit: pics coming soon to a theatre near you.

Edit: [Ask and Ye shall receive.](http://imgur.com/JD8Cyvj,rmWAZOL,JZRLd8o,UMDconY,zsQ6fzG,jW65yCp#1)


Best experience ever.  I had 4 friends in the room with me.  The whole place including waiting customers knew what I was getting done ad were waiting for screams of pain.  I called the tattoo artist a faggot when he was rubbing vaseline on my balls.  He laughed.  To top it all off other than the S in nuts and C in contains it didn't hurt at all.


TIL Chris Farley worked at Old Country Buffet before he went into comedy.


But it is a shitty president.


I have no idea why, but I read that as "Charlie Brown"...


Why would we give thm the hits?


** I N C E S T I O N **


He's all about the "let's not get the normal supercar".

Troll Level 1000. I love it

LOL at -70 downvotes when I'm complimenting the guy. Classic reddit.


All I caught was salt.


Hmm... Must have been rigged for publicity. NBC is pretty darn rich.


Why would it have even been ok to conduct a strip search if the police were involved? Fuck that noise. Unless she was suspected of hiding a weapon, this shit should not have happened.


do you mean bonjwa? ^^


> go back to work

Oh wow.


How did that extend the lifespan of Uncharted 3?


Kid shouldn't be in public, he needs special help


Don't do this shit. Saying things like this is one of the reasons so many countries don't like you guys

Edit: If you're downvoting me, please have the decency to tell me why. Honestly a lot of the Western world hates your suing culture


Now I am. Dammit guys, you woke me up with your yelling.


>look at me, i'm so smart jersey shore sux XD muhahhaha and other dumb ppl suck too! kardashian show sucks!!!!! take that normal ppl! i'm smart! counter culture! bam hahahahah muahahahahahah ::hides in bush::


I couldn't do it. I'm terrible under pressure.


Simple mental exercise, but try it with race. What if she'd been asking for a black female face, and SubaruKayak had posted the McDonald's black face with "What about this pathetic nigger?" Completely fucking different. It's just much more accepted to be sexist than it is to be racist at the moment.


You know, if you do this, they can't use your survey.

Source: Just made it up, fuck the rules!


The fact that KiA and it are both groups of people who are angry mostly because they don't get laid as often as they'd like.

Ooh negative points already.  You guys *are* angry!


Hard to be sneaky in wooden shoes.


Yes they're always cute until they kill someone.


I would also add that you should not ignore the relevant data collected thus far on the mother-in-law's destructive capacity.


Right? People are just hating on Lillard nowadays


-Half of our job is using google
-The other half is fixing bugs


:p that's secretly what I was hoping for.


In the US, sales tax often comes from state and local governments. That means that you often can travel to the next town and pay (slightly) more or less. Calculating this at checkout is MUCH easier than creating new labels for each store.

Edit: As /u/ran4sh mentioned, mass advertising campaigns probably pose a bigger problem than labeling.


Are you fucking kidding me?  He didn't even take the time to look up the statistics accurately.


Some people can't handle that much change.


Oh come on this is common knowledge. There's a shit ton of people with no self esteem that are happy to attach themselves to the first person who comes along that pays them a bit of attention.


Technically he doesn't have to cum.  But ethically, I can't advise an alternative.


Guys are expected to pay for dates, why can't I expect her to pay once in a while when she's making as much as she does?


As a clarinetist, I think my entire body just cringed.


Downvoted

Edit: I only posted this because previous comment was at -50 for no apparent reason

Edit: le downvotes?!


Ben taking naps during every commercial break


nice idea but not million dollar skin cause singed not so popular


i'll trade you.  i live in a frozen tundra and have basically pulled my rotator cuff getting that bitch down in the tim hortons drive thru.


As a half American, quarter Canadian, quarter English, I can tell you that American food is bad :/

Seriously me and my sister, we both ate good food in America and we had stomach problems that were gone as soon as we both got back to the EU with good food regulation....

Americans have good ideas tho. I gotta rep that. Pizza and burgers being the 2 best ideas from America <3


You would be surprised how expensive it is to turn the Middle East into one giant crater.


>Also, as it seems you are not here in good faith, perhaps you should just leave.

Ha! lets see how that whole FREE SPEECH works now, cant get rid of me without banning me!


That's what mom said too.


Yes and I'd like to point out that I was agreeing with you and for some dumb reason I got down voted to hell?


If you're positive it's a lie you should bring it up but you better have your facts straight.


Proof that kids shot your kitty with bb guns?  Didn't you just admit you made it up?  If you saw them, I apologize for misreading your comment.


And this is exactly why Internet service should be a utility. Imagine an unregulated electric company that still held their monopoly over regions. That's how you get $5 per kwh instead of 10 cents. People can't just got without electricity. Internet has become much the same. If you want to participate in society you basically require Internet access.


That scream tells me dude is as, sadly, unfamiliar with the animals that feed us as so many others. Really, it's a fucking chicken. It does not wield swords. You hold them right and they stay about as still as a rock.


Just doing my duty dear valued customer. *dawns Frito-Lay cape and flies away* "And remember, don't rock the maaachiiiiiiinesssss!"


Later that year, girl name Victoria Rae Black was never found.


She'll clearly know that one is photoshopped. It's hard to remove objects without leaving visible artifacts. I like to use the *hide in plain sight* approach instead.

http://imgur.com/HfR5pHO


Hopefully his daughter learns how to suck a cock because drawing definitely isn't going to be paying the bills.


Beethoven - bass cannon


There's a difference, even if you can't understand it.


Communication is the key. And he is communicating with someone, just not her.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1uwRbx-mpA&nomobile=1 this, although the link may not work, i've seem it elsewhere aswel, although i cant fin it right now.


If anybody asks, just tell 'em "that bitch was fake as fuck"


C'mon front page!!!  Epic win!!!


Protip: Don't flex during an injection.


The comment above mine deserves more upvotes. It shall be done as I command it!


But also subscribe to /spacedicks


Are you an economist? No. You're a loser how spends his day refreshing the askreddit new queue. You never served in the military and you probably earned less than $16k last year.

How's Obama's cock taste?


My english teacher at school said.
'When writing, the trick is not *what* to write, but *what not* to write'

I see that now.


I've cheated in an online game, not extensively but I have. I'm also not a raging douchebag or a patent idiot. So you are wrong.


And thus began her life-long spiral into prostitution


As though half the things on there are wtf any more.


Can confirm, am a human and love black chicken and watermelon.


Oh yeah!  Nothing says we are mature enough to have a conversation about the law like making a donut joke at the cops expense!

Good one!

Go back to junior high.


What did you order? Rice or noodles? Chicken, beef, pork, tofu? Was it tasty, cooked to your satisfaction, and reasonably priced? What kind of car did you drive there and back? Was it a four-door? How's the gas mileage? Or did you maybe use public transport? What was the position of Venus during all of this? This story has a lot of holes in it.


You've broken my spirit.


I'm a male and this is news to me.


>If you're trying to suggest the guy in the video derailed his argument because of his hostility, you are right.

Wow, I'm fucking speechless.

Reddit, ladies and gentlemen.

Home of the illiterate.

Did you just read the URL or what?

I just...

You missed the point so hard, it might as well have been in another galaxy.


You're still a virgin if you fuck her arm hair

-The Lord

Edit: Fuck you touch screen


please tell me you can change the key.

I will probably never use that feature anyway, but I'm sick of people thinking oh yeah, let's just take that key over there. It's easily accessible and the only key that is swapped with one somewhere completely else in the biggest country in Europe. For whatever reason.


I know her actual name lol. She used to date my ex's brother lmao.


100% of people who get a paper cut end up dying.


You have no idea, if he was smart he would ping 5 times, wait 2 seconds and ping 5 more times.

If you spam too often it restricts your ping access.  You don't want to piss me off in game.


I'd advise against going to France or Latin America on vacation, then.


I haven't, but if he calls mother Theresa a pathetic revolting criminal he sounds like your average troll.


I"m not sure if that's universally true about comedians. I really do like putting stuff out this way.  The new CD (LIVE AT CARNEGIE HALL) has been on sale since friday and you can get it on louisck.com for 5 dollars, drm free.  that has nothing to do with your question.  Ha ha!  Fucker!


>In my anecdotal experience, the reverse among men is pretty common.

Whenever I have this debate, I ask people to link to 3 blog posts or message board posts as examples.  Nobody has ever done it.


> Ah the good ole **handsome**.

FTFY


Are you being serious right now? It's still an average goal. Plus the rest of the comments are going crazy, maybe put some context.


You know something's off when you have no fear of giant, flying, fire breathing dragons, but just hearing a bear makes you piss yourself.


That's been said quite a few times now.


Wings should be served in dozens.  Then there's half, thirds, quarters, and 6ths.


I thought it was pretty funny


I appreciate your effort here, but this joke works better of Joyce is the author, since he famously wrote a 750 page book about a 24 hour period, whereas Hemingway is famous for being terse, if anything.

-Sincerely yours,

Sgt. Killjoy


...I think rooting out the problem passengers has everything to do with safety.


you friend is a genius


That and HL2 wasn't as amazing as people make it out to be. Also Portal was a lackluster game that doesn't deserve the attention it does.


I don't always get lucky, but when I do, I almost die.


He didn't have many touches, Jason would at least touch the ball few times ^^^Too ^^^soon?


Homicidal bro has your back


Social anxiety? Yeah there's a way. Man up. Everyone feels social anxiety to some degree. Some of us just decide doing something about it instead of looking into medicine for the doctor's justification.


Call it "You Just Have To See It"


Who jerks it to that? You're fucking weird dude


Work is for people who can't freeze time.


As I mention in response to your other comment: Odd, but irrelevant. Is this ad hominem?


I've always disliked Lebron for whatever petty reasons I've had, but the more I hear about the guy, the more he seems like a genuinely nice person. This story makes me feel better about him finally getting a ring


This is the comment I was looking for when I went to view them


It will be known as Jude's Law: "Every defecation requires an equal and opposite ejaculation."


Damn, excuse me, I haven't been to Reddit's Karma Whore University yet.


There is a planet populated entirely by gay black men. A ship goes exploring and finds earth. They discover that about half of the population of earth is female. They kill all the women on earth so as to free the men from female oppression and usher in a gay utopia.


Wait, people actually watch this sport?


His gloves alone look like they're wearing him out.


BEST.  COMMENT.  EVER!


The coldest place in the known universe was also achieved here on Earth, in a laboratory, mere billionths of a Kelvin.


I know I'm gonna get downvoted for this, but seriously, when you feel it coming, and I know it has some warning signs (2 blown out menisci and a torn shoulder here), just move to the right 3 feet. Beat any rude passerby about the head and shoulders with your cane.


Whenever a situation like that comes up, I don't know whether to be more angry at the significant other or the friend.


Sad that so many will bend over backwards to rationalize faith. Aldrin didn't get there because of his faith, he got there in spite of it.


Etch_A_Sketcher...this is the moment hundreds of hours on that Etch-a-Sketch paid off in a priceless picture.


Oh well, I did, if you have a problem with it, don't look at it. And if anybody has a problem with said "disrespect" they themselves are choosing to be offended. Unless, of course, they had relatives that we're directly affected by the event, in that case, sorry.


"Your honor? My client would like to change his plea to guilty."

"But we haven't..."

"Guilty, your honor."


Or you could just answer the question. When the fuck did redditors become such fickle bitches?


Was his mother Eric Cartman?


1933, I highly doubt it


the last part got me lol


That's the main aspect of chelsea I don't like. They don't play to play football, they play to win, they do it very well of course. But their players are trained to dive and cheat, watch the way Oscar, ramires, Hazard flop as soon as they get touched. The parking the bus method is horrible to watch and as a person who watches football because I love the sport, they annoy the fuck out of me.


Isn't that an eel that lives off the coast of Australia?


I was just about to post this.


Probably the best goes back to my early radio days.  While I was on the air once, Sam Gyson went into a studio next to me completely nude, eating a banana and scratching himself like a monkey.  I cracked up.  For 30 minutes all the audience heard was me laughing ... and an occasional line or two about sports.


I used to there goes my childhood, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


"Perhaps it's time we went through a different advertising agency."


It's always a good idea to hide some of the characters, as bots have been known to steal codes.


He's 100% correct.  I use to work in a body shop, no bumper repair costs $150.  You know what does though?  A half oz of weed...


Didn't exaggerate any stats bro, but thanks for reading.


The collared shirt store


I don't date online, you harpy.


The article is a perfect example of the saying "never fuck with a man who feels he has nothing left to lose."


So you admit this is your alt then, good remove this thread because you are involved in the drama. Nice try though.


Childhood itself is like being drunk. You don't remember most of it, and other people constantly remind you of the shit you did.


I agree with you, many are very, very nice. But it doesn’t even scratch the surface of what can be made when not motivated by religion.


Eghh....another paternity test, HERE WE GO


Yes I'm sure every sweaty nerd in this thread will be "shouting commands like a man" in their underwear. Look I found a picture of you http://i.imgur.com/gD54S.jpg !


You're just Madagascar can go faster than an electric car.


Pssh, 97% of Reddit is shit, r/games included. I say what I damn well please got a problem with that?


It probably kept playing Creed because of all the Creed that was in your history from when it kept playing Creed.


I wonder how many upvotes I can get on this comment.


**DO YOU FIND THAT PEOPLE REDDIT LOUDER WHEN THEY FIND OUT YOU'RE DEAF?**


The British seem to have some of the ugliest women on average IMHO

They have some sexy celebs though


Because he just gave it a present, duh!


Coming from the ShitMG.


http://i.imgur.com/QnPN908.jpg

EDIT: My first gold. Thank you kind stranger.


IF you're right, then she will show her true colors by breaking the boundary that she agreed to abide by.


I like my women like I like my filesystems. FAT and 16.


If you honestly were "blown away" by the shit cgi in the first one then you've got to be a 4th grader of limited intelligence.


Maybe they let you go because you write really long sentences.


I'd assume the lane beside him was open or else no one would've driven thru it


Okay, now that's the second time you've said that word, what implication?


WHO GIVES A FUCK YEAH?


Then the hoes, young and old, would sit down to a fisting.

And they'd fist! And they'd fist!

And they'd FIST! FIST! FIST! FIST!

They would start on the hoe veterans, and rare hoe virgins,

Till the Phatboi didn't know if he could hold back his urges!


I dunno if you're telling the truth... This whole time, I've thought the padding was to make a woman's chest look bigger.  You claim that they are only nipple covers.  I don't believe you.


yes sir , lets do it ...


the fat kept here there lolol fatass


I would watch a movie about this guy.


I'm glad you decided to totally disregard the actual proof I had.

By the way, large amount of training + high demand in the market = Large salary. You basically just proved yourself wrong.

You're still at 0 when it comes to any credibility. But go on, keep fucking lying to try and defend yourself and OP.


I'm just impressed you can type with all those spiders on your keyboard.


nope. not even safe for my home. NSFMH.


"Those poor little deer are going to fall off that roof!  Why doesn't the fat man do something!?"


Wrong. The best part was when the gum company asked for the gum back after Brad Pitt had put it back in his mouth.


Bad luck Brian does it again! http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3or489/


It's not that obvious. It's not as if they had a "/s" or anything.


LOL ONLY 2012 KIDS WILL GET THIS


It plays one the ideas that images of the "prophet" and homosexuality are unacceptable in Islam.


No, according to *the five girls I asked*


Sorry, someone calling my pasty ass "cracker" or "honkey" is more silly than anything. Those words simply have no power, because there is no power behind them. This cannot be said for legitimate racial slurs.


12-gauge shotgun with 00 buck. Let's see how well he functions with no head. :-)


At least you didn't take an arrow to the knee.


as a salesmen of blue platform shoes I like this idea.


Yeah this hilarious joke, which honestly, somehow got funnier after the 100th time it was copied and pasted, is used to actually attack transgendered people. Just so you know.


The type of friends that give bro jobs.


Well, people praise god when he killed more people than satan.


Can I haz some karma too? :'(
edit:*Full Speed Karma Train Choo-Fucking-Choo!*


> incoming pussy storm

FTFY

I wouldn't be too worried.

EDIT- give me all the downvotes your furry hearts can muster, children.


i heard elvis died on the toilet


no, she probably isn't that hot.


Sometimes did win and they were ok, I just did not want to upset them by winning all the time and thus making them look stupid - did not think this would be beneficial to my health


LOL.  **THE POSTERS DAD LIKES TO SUCK COCK** NOW AND THEN.  It's the truth, right?

But seriously, you may want an aids test, and your kids away from him.  Probably already know why, so I don't mean to lecture you...


Oepedious is known as the original motherfucker!


South Korea yes from my understanding. But north Korea no.?


As a scientist, I've concluded that you're 30.


lol I knew there'd be a really pissed off white dude in the comments


Crazy MO, that even in the era before criminology, was kind of obvious even to an untrained observer.  Any murder that even approached the level of ferocity that the ripper produced was immediately assumed to be the work of Jack.  Even this particular crime, which does not fit the ripper MO, is "widely" considered to be his work.  The real question is: why did he stop?


Was he doing anything wrong? No.

Why do people feel the need to call security or cops on harmless people they don't like? Just laugh or ignore the dude. Or maybe even try healing him using your own powers.

You would understand my point if some asshole [swatted](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=swatting) you one day.


I feel ashamed that the link was already purple.


you're a fag.

edit: aryan fag? wtf?


All Muslims actually do say that. It's kind of like a prayer.


Massively improved? Not even close.


no, because THAT would be oppressive to fat people.  If you have an eating disorder and are thin, then you are literally satan and destroying women.  if you have an eating disorder and are disgustingly fat then everybody should think you are beautiful.


if you don't know that DRG played at MLG this weekend then fuck off please. thx :)

PS: There's even an MLG tag in the title.


Seriously, in my family it was totally normal. But all the girls I meet are freaked out when I try.


Regardless of what label it carries its shit.


All the other kids with their PUMPED UP DICKS,

better run, better run, faster than my semen.


You're a neo-nazi aren't you?


LOL @ people being more scared of computers efficiently driving their cars than humans who kill 30,000 people a year.


I'm sorry but this movie is complete shit.  Why don't you idiots watch something good instead, like *8 1/2*?


HA! I have a bread maker AND a rice cooker. And I'm not even married. *adjusts monocle and top hat*


As  a straight male, I can confirm this.

Source: you must be dumb; you must not do science.


Seriously, cute guy with a cheeky cephalopod? Um, yes, please. Very stylish glasses, too, and I see a colorful shirt underneath that lab coat. *swoon*!

Edit: You should definitely crosspost this to /r/awwnverts


Busted!  I can't deny it.  Someone had to stick up for him.

So seriously.  Is he a teenager or does he need Xanax?


I used to think that "Quenched" meant really thirsty, so I'd drown my dogs in water to try and make them happy.


Can't tell if trolling, then I read the  username. Still can't tell. Have an upvote good sir!


If that's true, the irony is more amusing than the movie.


but most people don't do it 6 inch heels  :)


That's odd.

/buildapc

edit: didn't work :(


enjoy for these precious few seconds before the ban sets in!!!!!!!!


That is a lucid, intelligent, well thought-out objection - Overruled.


i wasn't in the right *frame* of mind


She wasn't super old, like 70's maybe and she seemed American. I thought she was just super sheltered. You know, eats at the same three restaurants for fifty years type of sheltered. Probably didn't own a TV either.


keep your opinions to your slef, good sir


*And an even better place to finish*...I'll show myself out.


I know, a lot of people said it and it makes me sick.  Just because you don't think someone is attractive don't go and beat up their image on the internet and label them as something they're not JUST BECAUSE they wear a bit too much make up.  Just because a woman shows a bit of skin it doesn't make them a 'whore' either, seriously, where does it end?


Yes I drink real scotch on stage... The $5 special is the best way to get it to my fans without Walmart or Universal Music getting a cut...Louis C K made this business model possible.... We r eliminating the middle man.... Its the new wave...


Don't say thanks. I've seen this on 9gag like .. 4 hours ago. If you want to repost, at least .. Give C**REDDIT**.  Get it ? Creddit = Credit + Reddit. If you want to be taken seriously, you have to do that.

Also, this is stupid. Have you ever been at school ??

**EDTI : GUYS, WHY DOWNVOTE ?!?**


But when the feds give a trillion dollars to banks that are in trouble it's called "saving the economy".


Yeah, that's his opinion and it's not incorrect.

o·pin·ion
noun
a view or judgment formed about something, **not necessarily based on fact or knowledge**.


Being a good dad is so much more manly than anything else.


So why did you purchase D3?


7/7, would read again.


Your*

FTFY

Edit: I'm guessing some people were downvoting because of the spelling mistake too.


My sister told me a kid in one of her classes swore while answering a question. The professer asked him to "watch his language" and the student replied "freedom of speech, nigger"

Yes, the prof was black, and he was NOT happy


Except for the guy who crashed his sports car...

Edit: Wow... the downvotes, for something I thought was funny.

Alrighty then.


Hell yeah, we build them 10x more efficiently here in 'murica.


Hi pot, you can call me kettle.


To stop polar bear facts, text STOP.


They can't? Obviously they can.


Yeah you're getting old, Princess. Might be time to start thinking of getting a proper gentleman to make you a queen.


>The fears many PC gamers had...

So... that means all 10 of you whiny bitches on reddit?


And here's how you **cut** off a top knot.

http://youtu.be/a8YgTaMyZRk


Is nobody else going to tell him? YOU HAVE CAPS LOCK ON!


Oh god it's my worst nightmare!


That woman was a man.


It's dumb to play it at all right now. Xbox logs everything, so even if you've played it offline, you'll still get a ban when you go online again.


just copy and paste it bro, damn!


Hell yes. I wish I could detach all this from my identity. I don't regret entertaining people, if they're getting laughs out of my retardation that's good for them, but I seriously wish I hadn't connected this account to my real-life identity, because I was one fucking retarded person not long ago. I'm starting to worry this is going to impact college applications and stuff.


Well, I'll give it to my dad cause I'm not even a parent yet.  But I'll keep the money if there is money!


So euphoric, so enlightening, such neckbeard.


Hand-forged from a meteorite?


I see the downvotes. "Haha don't you get it! He's a dork and it's funny to make fun of him!"

Right.


Woman: "Don't stop!"

Man: *changes pace and speeds up*

WHY. Just, WHY?!?!?! Orgasm gone.


but wait...you get more than that...if you made and uploaded this video then you clearly are not just posting it for the satire are you? There is likely (or at least a chance) that you see some revenue from my view...So I understand how it being deleted in a free place would make you very upset...no wait I don't.


He couldn't if he fried.


Make a fake account with the ex's name and add it as a friend. Have it message something to your account like "hey man long time no see, had to make a new account" or whatever. See if she responds to it. Call her out on it through the facebook chat if she starts talking to it.

wow -2 for giving actual good advice


Your friend has issues.


To the top with you...


Your boss is partially at fault for not realizing the same mistake when he got his ticket...or at the gate....or once the flight attendant announced where they were heading...etc etc.


WOW YOU'LL GIVE HIM REDDIT GOLD, THAT WILL SURELY HELP HIM IN SOME WAY /s


Today? *Today* you learned that?


>The unit we relieved lost some guys to a grenade tossed inside a gunner's turret on a vehicle

Awesome. That is what you get for joining a violent gang (military) and then ruining people's lives.


At least you got your car back.

Also thanks for the F-Shack

-Dirty Mike and the Boyz


I know, I actually clicked the link.


We are the 99%.... who don't waste Apostolate's time.


I don't see why. It was a nigger.


Where Peyton Manning chooses to dine and how he spends his money (especially in a private setting) should be his business.


China in Mandarin (zhong guo) literally means 'middle country/kingdom.' At least in a historical context, they considered themselves the center of civilization.

No, it doesn't. The question was why do people in Asia refer to themselves as the eastern world not why do they refer to themselves as a Middle Kingdom or the center of civilization.


He sounds like a total bro.


It's not a repost. I took a post. Expanded on it. And posted my experience of it. That's the point of reddit...


I like how you "became aware", I think we have all that had that terrifying dawning moment of "what the fuck am I doing?".


Probably in the vagina...


Same school as Dentttt


> I don't always abuse memes in the most unfunny way possible, but when I do, I make sure everyone knows I'm a Grammar Nazi cunt with the intelligence of a middle school child.


What annoyed me in that movie (among many things) is how all of a sudden there is enough water to fill the Earth up to the peaks of Himalayas. [Mt. Everest is 8848 meters high](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Himalayas#Geography). But, [if all of Antarctica melted, the sea would rise by 61 meters](http://science.howstuffworks.com/environmental/earth/geophysics/question473.htm).


lol yeah ok. I get laid more than I care too. It's nice to stand up once in a while.


Partying like it's $19.99.


What? No, fuck you. At least pay attention to the post if you're going to make a condescending half-assed response like that. The girl who made the post literally spelled knowledge wrong, idiot.


Yeah, they smile and laugh and all seem really intimate with each other. What the fuck is their problem?


Why the downvotes and laughing?


As a journalist, I would say that it's only free speech until you document someone doing wrong. Then your rights are tested and it's in those moments where we figure out just what kind of country we have become.


If you cum on your girlfriend's face

She's gonna have a bad time.

EDIT:  So, the downvotes are coming either from people who only have experience WATCHING PORN or men.  I've yet to meet a woman in real life who actually wants to have cum shot on her face.  If there is one here on reddit that wants to stand up and represent, then please do.


Can't disagree. Shameful.


THE MOTHER FUCKER KILLED THE SPACE SHUTTLE PROGRAM


When it comes to restaurants or similar situations specifically, I usually tag along to bathroom-breakers because they've already created a convenient pause in the conversation.


THIS NIGGA DA REALEST HUSTLA

HE AINT COMIN OUT WITH HL3 NIGGA

WORD


Your outlook on life is refreshing for someone your age.


Looks like Fetal Alcohol Syndrome to me.  Your mom a drunk?


I went on a journey around my computer room and ended up in my own shirt pocket.


no ur a virgin haha gay


Band of Brothers is freaking amazing!

That said, I'd also really suggest Generation War. It's basically a German Band of Brothers, focusing on the path of 5 friends throughout the war. (2 brothers who join the army (?), 1 chick who becomes  singer, 1 who becomes a nurse, and then a Jewish guy.) Definitely worth the watch!

edit; forgot to mention, it's on Netflix.


Yeah i suppose, i just didnt want to upset him ya know?

Is there a chance i could get addicted, i know 260/ year sounds a lot but in reality its only 5 a week?


I just looked like an idiot.


the mere fact you call it buzz buzz makes me sure your not ready - quote aressted development


sadly, I do not live up to my name.


Decaf still has caffeine.


Holy shit, this just made me wonder... do kids fucking *email* Santa now? Like with links to Amazon and shit?


soo... science is always the one that fixes stuff and ALL the bad things on earth is God's fault.... yeah, idk about that my friend.Perhaps its the other way around no? lets say for example that a woman was doing 10 different drugs at the same time, got pregnant and OH NO the baby is dead at birth... must be God's fault !


It's less a family tree than it is a family wreath.


Don't worry, you will never be that awesome. No woman will ever love you, have fun dying alone you crippled faggot.


Frankly, if it was a needed good like food, you'd be evil... but it's an apple product. Have fun and do your thing! Get Paid!


The fact of the matter is that you have to treat a woman like shit. Yeah, treating a girl like a "princess" is cool and all, but she won't respect you, not in the least.


I hate her headband. They couldn't spring for a nice one, they just pulled out a stretchy workout headband from a Walgreens four pack? Makes me irrationally angry.


FAG FAG FAG FAG FAG


You are not welcome here anymore.


Then you must be pretty dumb if you did not understand that... just like typical OWS supporter.


Except she's not a foreigner...

You missed the whole point of the story.


13-year-olds aren't that great at thinking things through, to put it mildly.


Maybe a baby fetus femur you sick fuck, how would bolt cutters cut a leg? Or are you just going beat his leg with it? Think things through.


Dog "You don't understand! My master... Oooh,  ear rub!"


the Lord works in mysterious ways


No one has ever referred to me as the skinnier version of anything.
Thank you.


i'm sorry sir, but do you have downs syndrome?


Thank the guy who stabbed him, really...


I wasn;t aware that was something I did.

Which is why I don't like leaks like this. It involves people that don't need to be involved, it takes words out of peoples mouths, potentially, and its just a shit thing to do.

And yeah, some mods are shitty people, and a mod had to have leaked this. I'm not really defending anybody or attacking anybody, I just think leaking is a shitty thing to do.


In what part of the south do you live?


It was more to show extreme distaste. Pointless as in it adds nothing to the post.


I hope if you ever cheat on anyone, they fuck up your work life for it.


Dude dodged a bullet if that relationship ended.


I used to le fak u bogs, but then I took le arrow to le gooby pls!


Then their families will never get closure. The real conscientious suicider makes sure his body is in pristine condition and found timely by the police.

Or you could do that 4 chan greentext thing where you cut your own head of and glue it to your hands.


I used to jump out of the bed and freak out, lay back down, and say,"fuck it", but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Typical redditor trying to Prophet off simple puns. Bound to happen Sunni or later, I guess.


lol, wow, 10 down votes so far. Is no one allowed an alternative view? Down votes aren't supposed to be used to express disagreement with someone's reply, that's what a reply is for. Down votes are for spam, incoherent, or off topic replies. So, either you down voters are incredibly stupid and cannot compose an intelligible comment, or you're cowards.


Read the last few words of each line.


but this is Canada, not North Korea


My mom used to have a Chevy Cavalier, does that mean she posted her nudes online as well?


predicted top comment...was not disappointed.


Also in Alaska, it's not like there are mountains, forests, oceans, and quite a few moose and bears that would be more than happy to make your existence shorter. Oh wait...

Seriously, just go for a walk in any particular direction. Nobody will find you.

Edit: And now my top comment is talking about disappearing in Alaska. Pretty sure I might end up on a list...


aaaaaand the US leads the world in drug innovation, nay, drags the world behind it. truth hurts bro. You're welcome for most of the medical devices and pharmaceuticals available to you.


You understand we have to bug you.


he is overrated. My bet is it takes him half the season to get a decent, dependable groove. I would take cutler over him in a heartbeat and cutler is going about 5 rounds after him.


"What? It came up organically."


This is the second time you've tediously explained your point. I know exactly what you think - you've made it clear - and obviously, I think you're completely wrong. You seem to be missing about forty years of feminist understanding about rape, so perhaps you should come back when you know what you're talking about.


I looked up her skirts like my life depended on it.


lol'ing at the downvotes. What kind of a pathetic idiot do you have to be to want to defend a hooker. They made the choice to enter that industry. I have absolutely no sympathy.


did they send me daughters?


And my goodness I will praise the day that it happens. I respect the guy for opening people's eyes, but beyond that, he has written some of the most incensing, mudslinging, putrid shitty articles of any pathetic human being on this miserable planet. I'd buy him a drink and throw it in his face if I met him.


Most of us are engineering graduates of one discipline or another (Computer, Electrical, Aerospace). NASA/JPL recruits in these fields at various schools with the expertise in the fields.

I actually started here as an intern during college and continued after graduation.


Do you still wait for Diablo 3?

I mean, honestly, how much more info do you need to find out it's shit?

Real money AH, casualised gameplay, nothing new, shitty graphics, everyone looks the same. Seriously.


Yes, a normal conversation would go like this:

"Hey, what's up with your ass? Why is it all red?"

"Ha! Funny story, I thought I'd spank myself to see what S&M was like. I think I did it too hard"

"[laughing out loud] You are very goofy, I love you. Let's have sex in my Ferrari"


haha, I love people with a sense of humour. Even if I wanted to fly out the security in my city is ridiculous haha


Moms friend opens glove compartment

Sees gun

Goes to shoot driver

Drops it on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur


It would help if she didnt end every sentance laughing like she was enjoying it... lol


What? That is so random. Where did she get the idea?


so what now? Just because he has cancer he should be special? He's a poor dumb kid who showed his dick, even if he has cancer it adds nothing to this discussion.


And there's another two month delay. Thanks.


Soooo... He's an expensive Heskey. Except he scores less.


Tough question! There are lots to choose from. I like when I go home for a weekend, I drive with him passenger seat listening to This American Life in general.

For a specific day, I have no idea. So many.


Fuck money, who wants to waste his life raising a fucking retard who WONT EVEN APPRECIATE IT?

SHoot your wife in the belly.


you have a heroic login name


no, this is the mana regen exploit meta. spammed stuns and heals OP


Well yeah, but what's that got to do with anything?


OMG, Chris Pratt is on reddit


This has to be the first time korea hasn't been in a tournament's finals in years

Edit: last time was in 2012!


Fuck everyone else.

I am going to spread Ayyy Lmao like wildfire.

Shit is great. Watch my downvotes


As a diver, fuck that shit! Sharks are one thing, groupers are another!


That's bullshit. There's no way you would know if they were driving high, especially if this just happened last night. It takes days to get a police report and I doubt you interviewed the driver or tested their blood yourself.


Started building Melbourne as a one-man challenge. It ate a solid week of holiday until I asked myself: "...seriously, WHAT am I doing!"


Yeah. . . unnecessary violence even for a mugger. If the camera wasn't there, they'd probably kick him on the ground. He could have grabbed the guy easily.


To all those assholes who will inevitably come calling bullshit on you for being on Reddit, I'd like to remind them that libraries exist, smartphones are fairly cheap, and some reincorporation programmes even give them away to homeless people to help them.

Good luck on your interview, I hope you get the job!


That doesn't make any sense.


Brb finding a ruler

Edit: :)


People who shouldn't be in this subreddit.


Detroit is actually a long running performance art piece.


And to me, a virgin's a virgin until she gets stuffed with dick. Gee, the world sure is a vast place with many differing viewpoints.


I tried to make a pig and failed :/


wouldn't "female" describe the sort of humanity that isn't male or hermaphroditic?

look up the definition of describe


That is *so* Jupes to take one for the team!


-pffffffffft- meow!!!!!!!!!!!!! -pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffft- MEOWWWWWWW! -plop- Meow.

Edit. Which idiot meow dwnvoted me 4 no reasn? Meow


There's a special place in bad karma hell for people like that.


I had him in my in-group for being such a nice person, but now he's in my out-group for being a devout Christian.

I also suspect that he is of relatively low intelligence given that he is both black and devoutly Christian.


Useless my ass. This is perfect for when the teacher says "Okay, we're all gonna go around the room and introduce ourselves and say one special talent you have."


Fighting for same sex marriage since **le** 50s


I sell cars and we have a saying about this: Pigs get fed. Hogs get slaughtered.


Duly noted. I shall commit chemo to save this dying forced meme*. I will be a martyr, an cancer, if you will. Edit for clarification: Dolan is most definitely a meme.


Then they respawn at the nearest hospital.


Shit. Like any other MG game.


To this day, I don't know what that woman was talking about...


>girlfriend

ಠ_ಠ


Or even better: "If we can afford the long-distance call, we'll be sure to let you know."


He's actually a good friend of mine. And a good artist, but also a dick.


NOOOO THE CUPBOARD MOM IS THE FAKE ONE! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER HIDES IN A CUPBOARD? WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS, HARRY POTTER?

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-


I love league of legends!


I went to the Camp Nou a couple of weeks ago. Messi didn't do shit the first half. I was really disappointed, was beginning to think yes, I can tell people for the rest of my life that I saw Messi play in his prime, but it wouldn't feel so good when he had a such a shit match.

Then he scored an 11 minute hat trick.


Every downvote a kitten dies


Sounds like the plot summary to a gay porno


http://i.imgur.com/7bHAKJs.png

No. The guy is literally stupid. Racist. And fucked up. Just look at that. If you support that then you're just as bad.


Well, still is. But it was too


But real talk, if girls didn't have vaginas we wouldn't be talking to them.


I mean it's not like she did something really terrible like having drugs.


it's wasn't intended to be a witticism - it was meant to be an observation, dick :)


So here's the deal. If a girl is taking birth control continuously and doesn't have a period because of that, doctors recommend you take a monthly pregnancy test in lieu of the period that would usually make you say "Hallelujah, no baby this month!"

Now three all at once.... No clue. But there's my two cents.


you make yourself look bad all on your own. you don't need any help from me.

another tough guy talking shit on the internet. bet you wouldn't say that to someone to their face.


Yeah in all seriousness, is there an actual situation here, or is it someone filming?


Lol
http://imgur.com/nW5quyo


Finally... I got my way! Sorry, that was a bad joke.


Which rock were you living under?


You met a redditor in the wild!


Ah no. He definitely tapped that.


Do you crush dreams everywhere you go?


Lol noob

EDIT-: Why am I getting downvoted?


I don't understand what "cabbage one" means, but "roommate" can mean both, though to younger University students, it usually only means the former.


Jokes that aren't true aren't funny. I don't get why that's such a big deal.


As much as I would like to let someone into my house to use the bathroom, this is sound logic. What would you do when everyone wanted to use your bathroom after that because you were the nice person with the bathroom? The park should have a bathroom, maybe you can write in and complain... or nicely ask for one.


She's entitled to her own opinion.


That's how Reddit gets you trapped.


That's not hilarious. Your family is full of terrible people who think lying is funny. Wanda clearly took a big step to stick up for him, and that step was undeserved.

edit: stick up FOR him... oh well, too late now.


Just taking my place at the end hoping from some of this.

EDIT: [1173 karma **&#3232;&#3232;**](http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzaxmuQe3H1r5ioojo1_500.jpg) I always wanted an awesome comment, but THIS IS TOO MUCH!!! I don't feel like I worked for it.


r/athiesm. you are on reddit 90% chance you don't believe in heaven therefore do not believe in hell. i hate it when people say they are going to hell for this, when they don't believe in it...


This is a three part story like Star Wars. We got the first one where things look cheerful and maybe everything will turn out alright. Then the second one were everything is grim and there is no hope for the hero. Now we are at Jedi and the dog is safe and we get to see a ghost of Hayden Christensen


Mostly because they're honor whores. I mean I usually whore for honor too, but I'm an honest honor whore; "gl hf, I'm whoring for honor".


I think you're in the wrong thread.


So what happened? Were you accused of abusing your children?


Bleach is mostly water and we are mostly water, therefore we are bleach.


Ashlea is a black name and youre not black. don't make fun of blacks how would you like it if a bunch of them at night came up to you and started spitting watermelon seeds in your face and you couldn't see them because it was dark


I can make about 3 turns before I realize that I've made a mistake with my life.


walk of shame is called the walk of shame for a reason. No respect for sloots


> As the last of the survivors die out, this documentary couldn't come at a better time.

Seriously. I can't count the number of times some /r/conspiracy-minded user tries to say "You don't know if the Holocaust happened, you weren't there and you don't know anyone that was there."

Things like this are sadly necessary to keep people from revising the Holocaust right out of history.


Lol perfect example of what numerous people have already dealt with for your sake.

But we *do* thank you for not continuing your line.


George W. Bush's speech writer


wanna meet up?...find out for yourself goof?


The oldest relative was a great aunt.  She lived through the Civil War and her husband was in the Civil War.  My grandma on my momma's side was a farmer and my daddy's side -- his daddy and momma were farmers.  They lived good lives being farmers.


Oh for gods sake, this is LifeProTips, stop being such a chauvinist.


Just a shitty title, that is all.


Thanks for your mind blowing contribution. I'm sure everyone missed my username until you showed up. You must be a savant for catching that.


Guys, I think we got a decent movie plot here.


Do you mean, sorry for our loss of *skepticism?*

Seriously, what are the chances that OP's grandfather had the strength and presence of mind to deliver this entire thought as quoted, and then immediately lost consciousness and died?

I'm assuming, of course, that this was not his suicide note.


Domestic violence is much higher in cop families than non


You're right - photojournalism ought to be confined exclusively to happy subjects, all proffered with consent.

This looks nothing like exploitation.


They dangle it in front of him like a juicy carrot.


And the arrow to the knee that ruined my life!


No, a bulb is a tuber that is known for its shape.  Pear is a fruit that is known for it's shape.  Light is a concept.  Glow is a concept.

Light bulb.  Glow Pear

It's the same thing


Are you the new autistic shitsplat in this community?


Are you sure that's not the oxygen deprivation?


....Is that a Nikki Minaj before shot?


It's scary that it was only a 5-4 decision.


What happened last year? One game was extremely close and the other a snooz fest. What happened in the super bowl? Maybe it's because the AFC championship is basically the jv league.

Edit: I should give credit to your coach and gronk though. They may make a difference but I honestly doubt it.


That's obviously a thrust you peasant


Dont care about the weapons since I have every exotic weapon in the game.

Gotta brag somewhere :D


Good friends you have there. Fuck the other one.


Are you retarded or just a horrible person?


or you can buy naked people.


Multiply by a factor of 10 you lying fucking asshole! I'm fucking tired of your lying "so little land" shit.


Given he locked out his own church members to save himself from zombies, can't say this is super out of character...what a douche though.


No one is saying that here, the only one claiming their headcanon is the only acceptable interpretation here is you. I don't even give a shit about what skin colour anyone's Hermione has, it's just a character and the nature of characters is that they're open to interpretation.


. . . after handcuffing her so you could go watch Star Trek?


You watched an ENTIRE season of that? Holy fuck, you need medical attention or autism pills (inb4thatsnothowautismworks) ASAP.


I laughed on the toilet and all of a sudden pooped a lot more than I was expecting


GIVEN THAT IT'S VIRTUAL LEGOS, I'D SAY THAT IT'S MORE LIKE 540°! LOL! GREAT POST, THOUGH; NO THANKS FOR SHARING!


Classic GGG.
Could degrade friend by forcing him to perform ruthless oral sex.

Has pizza instead.


These people have obviously seen the show and knew what they were signing up for. What's the point of complaining after the fact? They got paid, it worked and now they're skinny.


Chased a guy for 4 blocks and caught him. After putting him in handcuffs, my Sgt shows up and asks what happened. I promptly threw up right in front of him.

Running at a full sprint in 40 pounds of gear for 4 city blocks is not cool man. Especially right after lunch.


lol. A "Family Tree" of sorts, that is completely ridiculous. It will never catch on.


At least in America kids drink a lot, their parents just don't know about it.


read more books about past societies. seriously, you need to learn more. I am not going to argue any further.


Welcome to my reddit posts, where everything is made up and the points ~~don't matter~~ are my lifeblood.


I thought you wanted him to collect downvotes.


> Everybody knows her.

In a biblical sense, if you know what I mean


Yeah, I bet this is the reason.  Good catch.  You've figured out one of the world's toughest questions in a matter of seconds.  It definitely has nothing to do with wanting things for free. It really has to do with digital copies expiring.  Most people who pirate have no problem paying for the stuff they steal as long as their digital copies don't expire.


You're asking the real questions around here.


Everyone point at him and laugh.


Thanks for not being a dick.


Still not convinced its from Petco, petco doesn't carry these fish nor does it house them in those containers. However, I do apologize as point whoring betta fish posts are pretty common and I loathe point whoring, in fact I don't even care about points for myself.


I could see a future where the cars are *so* safe that kids play a dangerous game of "jump out in front of traffic" just to see all of the cars stop.


How did the other mom react?


And the best part is their descendant follows mother's surname. Feminism is the future, guys.


And then they could use their shared dreaming as a way to extract information for corporate espionage...


I didn't expect you to, I was merely explaining the situation at hand.


TIL Putting Meth up your ass turns it into Heroin.


Shitty enough answer, but not enough shitty science for this subreddit.


I mean his wife is beautiful... and I'm sure he's got wonderful kids and a great life...

 but that's fucking Nichole Kidman.


yeah, i agree, she wasn't being nice, but the gendered stuff is just unnecessary. and rogan doing his "dumb woman" voice is offensive


and casually watched him?! like

"hey man we gonna go out for beers or what?"

"yeah hold on a sec, just gotta finish jerkin off my dog"

"WELL HURRY THE F UP CAUSE IM THIRSTY"


That's horrible. Guess I'll never pug again.


For sale: Blackboard chalk, second hand.


Thank you for restoring my faith in mankinds ability to keep some sort of proportion in his endeavours..


Takes balls to misuse "your" on reddit.


> assassinate

That is all you need for it to be close.

EDIT: Dense weebs can't stand when their chinese cartoons get delayed a bit due to a major issue in the country they worship.

EDIT 2: I'm an idiot and accidentally deleted the original comment.

EDIT 3: Holy shit this is great


Definitely wasn't going to imply we could still be friends. I needed out.


this is a fucking disgusting animal, please post this sort of shit in /r/WTF


I and a couple friends jacked a car up with a hydraulic jack and pushed it into the middle of the street. the police are much faster to ticket and tow the vehicle then.

Do not block my fucking driveway to park 100 feet closer to A SPORTS GAME


Nope, you're both stupid.


This cannot be real. What's wrong with him?

*Hellloooooo...*

E:  I can't stop listening to this fucking thing on repeat. My sides.


I can say hello to you while Im on a phone, no where did I imply I cant speak to you, and the person on my phone at the same time. Though your transaction does not warrant my interaction no. I am giving you goods, I want you to sell me the goods so I can leave and most likely never see you again.


This comes from, in most people who have tried to tell it to me, the fact that people thought Columbus's idea was crazy.

People *did* think he was wrong, but not because they believed in a flat earth. It was because they believed in a spherical earth that they knew to be much bigger than he thought.


Even if it is fake, it's still perpetuating the idea that this type of behaviour is funny and acceptable. So yeah, not cool.


step 1: acquire female


As a Dallas fan for 18 years, all of it for a mediocre team, it sucks that people hate my team so much. I can get the Patriots hate, because they're good, but we have sucked for a long time.


some things are worth not breathing for. like blowjobs and snickers


Not with everyone running owls and BGH these days :/


Good lord this is the correct answer right here.


Looks like Samsung PR was successful in forcing this meme...
**Edit:** New record!


Bob the Builder was already taken.


MY DADDY SAYD DAT DIS ID WAT MOMMY SAYD WEN SHE HAD SECK WIT DA NIGGER MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DATS WHY I HAS DA DARKY SKIN GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


She was obligated not to Fuck anyone but you.


Pretty well in my opinion.. :)


Us mods decided that the ban wasn't rightful and we lifted it.


Yea but she can't wait until she's out the car to do it?


I'll let you in on a little a trick everyone else has learned... unsubscribe from /r/atheism. Bam! Problem solved. In fact, the rest of reddit is more into the anti-atheist circlejerk than they are the atheist one. Post something the criticizes religion, even if it's a valid response, and you'll be flooded with 2edgy4me, *tips fedora*, so euphoric replies and be downvoted to them bottom.


My pary are with the father.

/goingtohell

edit: bring it, bitches!

edit2: express elevator to hell, going down!!


My dad told me the german word for virgin was gutentight. Are we brothers?


Because those who disagree with me are often homophobes? And they say homophobic things?


My ex and I got in a HUGE fight over the amount of sand that was left in the shower/bathroom after rinsing off after the beach when we went on vacation to the Dominican Republic together.  It certainly did not help that mid-fight I said she probably had too much sand in her vagina.


You've got about the same ability in using commas as your brother.


So, you're basically a Companion?


You just searched through hundreds of my comments to prove a point on the internet?

Hilariously pathetic applies best to you, brah.


Thank you for knowing that.


lol oh please dont take away my imaginary internet points! This bitch is supremely average. Shes the typical american college brunette...so boring


>Gonna make like cervical cancer and eat that pussy.

Holy shit


But is there a liberal group of people who do see it as OK? It's like when people complain at there SO's watching porn, I think that as normal. Where should the line be drawn?


This is the kindest kind of comment I can think of getting. Sincere, well worded, and intelligent.


Or, you know, maybe someone was just curious what his first car was....


what does that mean? fuck you.


Well, someone is getting shot for that.  Such a big embarrassment on a big anniversary for them.  Instead of national pride, it'll be national shame.

If only that money had gone to actually feeding their population.

Edit:  WOOT!  "you have been banned from posting to /r/Pyongyang: Pyongyang | Democratic People's Republic of Korea."


Cause he was busy. Now stop using SRD to defend your alt account. [This is your alt account.](http://www.reddit.com/user/imscarednow) Your ages match. Other details match. You are a mod here shouldn't you know better than to do that?


>"If you want to learn music, start hitting the gym"

Most confusing sentence I've read in a while.


Well I hope you get recognized off Reddit and brought to justice. You brutally attacked two people because of some word they said to you. You do not belong in a society you belong in a cage. If all it takes is "a really bad day" for you to commit what could be construed as attempted murder then you should be in prison.


lol the other day I sneezed and my friend said "god bless you" and I was all like HE'S NOT REAL hahahah what an idiot he's not my friend anymore

i don't need friends

i only need a lack of god


I like how she can't read the sign, so her parents were obviously being mean to her to get her to cry for the picture.

**edit** The kid's better off this way, anyway.  Look at that fat chin, at least crying burns calories.


Also don't fuck them.


She was actually trying to scream "shut up!" "shut up!", but her mouth couldn't form the words.

It was haunting to sit there year after year in a torturous state. When the realization came that she was finally going to be free, it was the most euphoric moment of her life.


SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE TURD!  ROW, YOU WHORES!


You upvote something when you think it's worthy of sharing with others. My post was NOT worthy of sharing with others, but because people thought I had cancer, they were giving out pity points. If you can't understand why that's patronizing and fucking disgusting, then you are a downright idiot.


It's all fun and games until someone establishes a church.


on such a small subreddit? doubtful.


I would "chow down on that" ahyuk hyuk


Yes he did.  First he said it was "fine" if I watched Dave and Claire have sex, then he said he *wasn't* okay with it.  He said both "A" and "not-A." "A" and "not-A" cannot both be true.  He lied.


lol yes i'm Canadian :P


MAICON IS A RIGHT BACK YOU DUMB FUCK

-GAEL CLICHY

edit: I don't care about imaginary Internet points :)


I think you should switch to "The child I ate as food." and see if they ever notice.


You're right, you do believe in karma, but it's the kind you collect on the internet by manipulating your dead friend's memory by posting a photo of her online without her consent where asshole's like myself can trash her. From here on maybe use the word "friend" more liberally because I'm really not sure you are one to her.


I just realized that the 'pipe' is a reference to a smoking pipe and not a horribly impractically device for cleaning plumbing.


You spelled Cartwheel with a K...twice. are you fucking stupid?


That mother fucker...


That video had potential, unfortunately it had Shia LaDouche.

If they had another dancer in there, it could've been a lot better.


> I not retarded

Come on now, he stated very clearly right off the bat.


Why is that sad?

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.


I'm on my couch wearing socks.


the is quite a *chain* of puns


I think gang tags are the human equivalent of dogs pissing on street lamps.


It absolutely will be her "fucking him over" if she gives him an out and then later extorts money from him through the court system.


The English terms are so much nicer than the terms we use in my Dutch dialect. Roughly translate we use the words blood dick vs meat dick.


it was the Comment Holocaust of 1/10/12

NEVER FORGET


Good luck with an answer for this one.
So far the Obama administration has skirted this conversation at every turn. It's really the biggest flip-flop Obama has committed as president.


Oh give me a fucking break

Anybody who thinks Seth's shit promos are even in the same league as Flair is either retarded or 15 years old.


That would be fuckin helpful!

Great idea, thank you!


I swear if all you guys are serious...


this kinda just made me sad


Not to be a dick but people die everyday and 99% of football fans already know about this, no need to post this especially when it gets posted/talked about in many threads and will likely get posted year after year. But karma/


At first, this made me sad. Then I realized I'm an idiot.


True, I could have been more polite on that part. But after losing some games myself I can get little pessimistic too, still never going as far as this anivia did...


Did they say how she reacted when she found out? I could see her being pissed off, but honestly, after 20 years, I would like to think she laughed it off.


no fucking way is anyone reading this shit


I just ate Subway and was terrified when I first started reading your post.


Can you fucking idiots stop saying that?


And I would drive 500 more.


Speak for yourself. As an ex-junkie with exceptionally protuberant veins, I have found it all but impossible to find a date, even though my whole life I was under exactly this impression. But guess what? I don't just sit on my ass all day and indulge in magical thinking. I set goals and make them happen. You should try it sometime.

Edit: I bare my soul and I'm down voted? What the hell??


"Being broke...I ignored it for a while" brings shivers to this Brit's spine.  Fuck not having universal healthcare.


hey nobody, noone cares


Then you should have given *her* ten pounds of sausage, if you know what I mean.


Volbeat is a band you fuck


How much do you get for selling plasma?


No. Just stop. Literally every other mastery you could put this point into is better for your first clear.

50 hp does NOTHING and only respawns once you die.


Ain't no climate change in the bible

edit:
[Amen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZaCiP2_2RM)


I'm sure that alot of things amuse you, cunt.


I love this guy. He's a PR manager's nightmare, but he doesn't care.

Edit: alright everyone, I get it, his PR has its merits. I only said that because his statements have been known to lower stock prices temporarily for his other company, Tesla.


Why was school closed in Canada? Its Canada. They know nobody cares. Iran was pissed off at them once, but other than that, who cares?


even shallow water might've been sufficient given how big the shark is


Every post that begins with "I have you tagged..." should start with 10 downvotes. No one cares.


I think this is really sweet; he just can't contain his excitement for his friend. I want that kind of friend!


want... to... upvote... so bad! Aaaargh to hell with it, have an upvote


he doesnt go back for thirds anymore


Yep, read that in his voice.


I'm a Brazilian from São Paulo and I've never associated the USA with mayonnaise. I guess you were in Rio, they are gastronomically weird.

When I see "American style burgers here", it's usually prime-quality burgers with bacon and lots of fat awesomeness. Oh, and barbecue sauce.


I'm an indie dev too, and indie devs LOVE your game published on as many sites as possible. I'm really not understanding your point of view. I have games published on 100 to 10000 sites, and those published on more sites I make more money.


Not every single one. Heck, the ones with all the kids lined up over the pool, arms crossed, shivering...That looked like every line for the diving board I ever stood in as a kid. Only more asian, I guess.


They were trying to prevent feces from being smeared all over the walls.


> One day I accidentally dry humped my way to climax while holding her, confused and overcome with guilt I flushed her down the toilet.

This is the best sentence I have ever read.


Hell yeah. I bet her penis is pinkish.


By Grapthar's Hammer!


Do you honestly think the people commenting above would like to participate?


Wow, you let him go raw dog and cum in you while on your period on your fourth time having sex?

You're my kind of girl.


Woud be nice to have a TLDR first. Might make me turn my downvote upside down.


We can't have sex because I find you incredibly attractive.


You're not iceiceice, you're english is flawless
.


I didn't know they made mittens that big.


Yes, but don't keep it up for too long. You don't want to get overweight. Where you are now, maybe a few lbs less, would be perfect.


The republican congress is expected to pass a law that bans fast lanes and content blocking, but also won't give the FCC the regulatory power to actually *do* those things.

They're blowing sunshine up everyone's asses and are betting you won't notice when they pass the law with zero teeth.

Edit: RIP my inbox


nobody cares what u think faggot


I think I've played Broodwar a bit too much. While reading these points I classified them as

* Protoss - rReally beginner-friendly, DT rush can get you into B rank

* Terran - well balanced, hard to master

* Zerg - They come from behind and nail you in the ass


What a great attitude you seem to have. Just the type of guy we need guiding misguided and disadvantaged kids.

Fuck those kids and their culture, which they opted into rather than being born into and could easily escape if they only worked as hard as you.


The Hobbit will be among the choices of in-flight movies.


Then race choice wouldn't be aesthetic. I bet you're one of those people who wants class items to have stats as well. You make me sick.


Unless your the npc before the first gym with a metapod who only knows harden.


We can't criticize Jews now? Fuck You


I understand.

YOU HATE US.


In the context of a girl being hot because she is wearing nerdy glasses? Yes.


Women give up quicker.


Cmoooooon, U CANnot stop the curse of the internet???

why are people even trying..


I've now learned that pick up lines never work unless you have a dog.


Not sure if sarcasm. Either way, thank you.


If you even barely brush the leash where it is hanging, my dog will run like a bolt of lightning to the door, ready to go.

We also don't say the W word around him as he knows that word


With a username like JediApprentice you just know that the lady advice will be *solid.*


Ah, the beaver clause.


Right.  That's the joke within the joke...


A masturbatory word cloud!  I like the way you think.


Who gave this retard a computer^


So you basically hate reddit.


One film to find them.

EDIT: finally fixed


It's not uncommon for really intelligent people to be a bit mental. Not saying this lad is super smart, just that perhaps he's on the ball academically then goes home to wrap himself in tinfoil


Really, I wonder why? Maybe because it was a parody of a DMX quote and that was the entire fucking point. This comment makes me want to throw small dogs off bridges.


Both are great. But yeah, backwards boy.


You didn't  truly earn it. That's all I'm saying.


I think you meant [spiderbro](http://imgur.com/gallery/D5Ieu)


TIL Russians are dumb.


This is reddit, people believe total nonsense stories but then want DNA samples for a mail order bride ama lol


Lincoln was also the first president to order American troops to fire on American citizens.

Boothe was there to fix that too.


My ex gf was 2 inches taller than me ( 5'5" and 5'7") and in stores when she would reach for something I'd feign a flinch. She would get mad at first but then when we started to get looks it became a game to get the best reactions. She told me she was going to drown me when we get home once and this older lady really took to offense.


Here's the truth: Bellichick wants to win at any cost. So he tells his people to do anything that will give them an advantage, whether it's legal or not. And he has his whole career. The end.


More like True Chainz


Karma means absolutely nothing (-:

I am **downvoting** you to teach you a lesson :-)

*Have a great day and enjoy* **downvote oblivion**, "ArseAssassin" (-:


The container only lasts 1 week instead of a month. Or she's blowing her roommates, and their dicks taste like the conditioner. Your pick.


dirty filthy stinking hanging enslaved subhuman N77G4Z LOL XD


Agreed. Carol wins at the game of thrones.  I love it.


Nope, I'm not sure we do :)


difference in culture you ignorant idiot, i'm not wrong when plenty of people speak this way.


And middle clicking the tab will dismiss it.


oh so you stole an idea and added upon it to make it look like you came up with it. isn't that neat. you must be the new mike zuckerstein


Through your XBox Live name.


Hey *fuck you* I was **born here** and now **live here**, too.

**edit**: now, *living in Austin*, I **still** moderate [/r/bayarea](/r/bayarea), and would have blasted this SPAM without even thinking twice. Good riddance. (I would have also recommended they post in the BuySellTrade list).


Dude I will atheist-pray for you. Hang in there.


na has no talent lol

jungler mid support adc arent from the usa


Once you reach max level you stop leveling.


Good game. Worth **le** money.


Yes, Britain. [Got a problem with that?](http://i.imgur.com/CXjkw.gif)


Steve Smith had 4 drops compared to Andre's 9. That's huge. Also, Steve Smith caught 80.8 of the balls thrown at him, compared to Andre's 78.2.


It's the rest of your day - that's what it is


Was about to post the same thing except instead of "guy" I was gonna say "fucking idiot"


 I like my women the way I like my Computer.
Virus free.


I find it kinda painful to watch a retard who cant even click a big red button.


*is there a masturbatorium?*


I'm certain that you would discriminate someone based on the state of their earlobes, seeing as stretching them is the stupidest fad you could think of. And if you look at some of the posts in this thread, you will see the bigotry. Maybe you won't, actually, yeah, you probably wouldn't.


I eat spiders to gain their lifetimes. There can be only one.


Please stop saying "vinyls". The word you are looking for is "record"


*don't say splashception, don't say splashception, don't say splashception*


jesus christ, the downvotes. what.


Get a lawyer, then hit a different gym


Dislike that for your spelling failure


Two Native Americans walk into a bar. Then they stay there until it closes because they are alcoholics.


MY MOMMY SAYD DAT DA DWUGS ARE BAD N YOU SHUD FEEL BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This is the first AMA that someone has answered that question. I'm SO happy now.


http://www1.salary.com/Captain-Pilot-in-Command-Large-Jet-Salary.html

http://www.jetcareers.com/becoming-an-airline-pilot.html

Go on...

The amount of training to become a commercial pilot is mind blowing. Do you really think they would let anyone be in control of 100+ lives on an airplane? Your stupidity is mind blowing.

Why do you insist on talking out of your ass?


That's actually hilarious.

"Oh it's your birthday? Act like an owl n shit."


So being a cheerleader im guessing your quite flexible


I think you missed the part where the neighbors *called the fucking cops* on OP without bothering to even voice concern to them directly first.  They're obviously hostile already.  A response like that isn't too uncalled for.


It matters when better choices are available.  It's like painting something lime green over a better, less obnoxious color.  It's still painted, but you don't get any good out of it, nor does it look good or professional.


Good point, I immediately regret this decision. Luckily, she can't get onto reddit because she's being redirected [here](http://nerdr.com/how-to-quit-reddit-serious-version/)


That and selling marijuana illegally. But yah, besides that he wasn't guilty of anything.


Even worse:

"Whose in command now?"  "You are, Sir."

I feel like if you're at a high enough level to be next in command, **you'd fucking know it.**


Sure. SC Frontpage! When I posted the same thing in a PvZ of Grubby where his opponent even get so far to build his own mothership no one cared but THIS is going frontpage.

IAMA disappointed redditor, AMA!


I don't know why anyone would downvote you.  This happened to me too, it's fucking horrible how much this happens.


I like m5 because they dont try to make you fags happy, they play for keeps


STANDING FUCKING OVATION


im guessing one of the people is a meme?

thats my guess.

tbh with pictures on reddit i normally check for a hidden black man. if i cannot find him then i go to comments for the answer.


Dealt with that situation like a boss.


No, dolan, don't! Stop!


That ended much better than I expected.


>Yes, and I need a virus free computer.

Then don't use their services. It's that simple.


Interesting thing about breasts: humans are the only mammals that have permanently large breasts. Other mammal's mammaries shrink to almost nothing when not producing milk.

Cows don't count as they are specifically handled to produce constantly via hormones or regular milking.

So: big dicks, big boobs. We're the best!


Meanwhile, in France, they pay you to kill a baby as a form of birth control....awesome.


DOES HE LOOK, LIKE A BITCH??


Holy shit, you don't live there. Stop raiding stuff. What's wrong with you?


The Office really has its' moments, but for some reason the line when Michael goes to Pam's art show and sees her water color and says "That is our building, and we sell paper" really gets me in the feels in a way I can't entirely explain.


First top comment I've seen without a reply in like 3 months, kudos.


You may be right, but since she gave you a "legitimate" reason, hold her to it. If she starts pushing for more it's time to have a different conversation. No one likes being tracked, even if they aren't doing anything wrong.


He was talking about that one dirt block sticking out of the flat ground.


This got more disturbing as I read on.


That explains your presence.


This would give a whole new meaning to "A Song of Ice and Fire."


Then why am I laughing at the downvote drones?


New England is made up of six states: Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine.

Source: from New England.

EDIT: [Yes, really.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_England) New York and New Jersey only count if you're talking about [the Dominion](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominion_of_New_England).


ANND upvote. I laughed.


This whole AMA is a good example of how **not** to use the internet for marketing.   It seems clear that the whole post was an attempt to market a movie that no one knew about or was excited to begin with.  Hopefully someone in PR or marketing learned today that you can't simply bend the desires or interests of the internet.


That way they can't get to them quickly and turn them off :D


I was in a nonfiction writing class in college, and once a week we had to proofread each other's essays. I'd say a little under half of the class wrote so poorly that it really made me question the value of a college education.


Yes. Family pictures confirm.


I used to be hung like a horse, but then I took an arrow too the knee!


Marriage doesn't have to be like that :(


SRS is leaking again....


Taylor made by Dolce ape Gibbon-a


context, context, context. Very real threats have been made against r/lgbt mods here in r/ainbow, and when you saying people "deserve"  popularized verbal assault you perpetuate and participate in an established power-terror dynamic. Let's grow up people and realize that these hostilities are no longer harmless, as if they ever were in the first place.


and it hasn't been moved from the backyard for 18 of them


Damn you, I wanted to say that.


Had he chosen to stay incognito, the story would have lost its shining zenith:

> "Ma'am, this is eBay, not a car dealership"


Why has this not been up voted more? First comment to make me lol.


Jesus. Were they served protein bars made of cockroaches too?


Jupiter is big. Lol!!!! xD I like this game!!


If he bumped into you, he was probably a spy. Otherwise he would just pass right through you. I'll see myself out.


Chopsticks have been obsolete for such a long time. I kind of get the cultural connection to why some want to keep using the stupid things, but people who insist on using them when they pick up Americanized Chinese food just grind my gears.


At my local police auctions, unless an item is explicitly illegal (fully automatic firearms, cocaine, etc.) anything in your purchase lot is yours to keep and is no longer evidence.


i am sorry but you have the same stance on pedophiles.


Upvote for working for Hustler.


Do you have shit in your ears, or just between them?


Damn that, where else would he have gotten 8% for 13 years.


banned from /r/pyongyang


There are many like it, but this one is mine.


If Stephen Colbert was a girl (a real one, not the whiney little bitch he is), Reddit would have dicks in every orifice all while drinking smoothies made from his/her menstrual chunks.

**Colbert is nothing but Jonny the Self Hating Gay Jew Stewart's butt boy.**


Dude, Pokemon isn't really a martial art.


Are you fuckin nuts? Russo is among the biggest homers in the league. Good writer but he's fair and balanced just like Fox News.


The first time I met my girlfriend's dad was in his office. She walked in and said hi, and he responded with "hello beautiful." She then said "this is Brandon," and he responded with "hello beautiful."


Yet with money doesn't come knowledge.

You can't buy your way into heaven.

-edit-

getting downvoted into karma hell, but I think some replies got the gist of it. If I donated 3k, that's my net worth because I own a computer and car.


Maybe touch his penis a little.


she had a child, ya know
Edit: jesus mother of shit, downvotes. i never asked for this


GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF M'LOBBYBOY


No, you really don't. He was the worst President in history, a liar and a murderer and almost destroyed our economy.

Edit: Downvotes brought to you by the Jeb Bush 2016 campaign because like an abused spouse we keep going back for more.


I like how "Tuba player" makes it sound even worse.


aka every freshman highschooler. I loved planting an elbow in the sternum as I passed  every wheezing idiot that thought they could go out with the front pack. I miss high school cross country. Road races are so much less physical.


My friend is a med student, and she texted me a relevant picture one day after work. [I believe OP met her recently?](http://i.imgur.com/AKN9R.jpg)?


He prefers classical music?

The Beatles *are* classic.


I don't know, I always felt safer moshing at punk shows than going down on randoms.


Have an upvote good sir! We need more people like you.


Ricky? Did you get your grade 10?


*It's the CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIFE*


Or, you know, it's a part of the sketch… meaning the characters just bought the t-shirts at a store before coming to the party.


That is sooo gay. It is kind of embarassing really


Link (with subtitles) for the lazy and/or non-Korean

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YWR9snSDC4


be nice, man. my boyfriend has aids.

want to sign his cock cast? add me to facebook, i'll tell you all about my family.

then i'll ask you for something.

c'mon, it'll be fun.


Is that what the kids are calling it these days?


Racist joke urge... Overwhelming...... No.. Must resist. Ugh.


Look at this smart ass community college ass nigga right here.


He. Got. A. Concussion. 5. Minutes. Into. His. Last. Match.

Undertaker vs CM Punk was amazing. His match vs Bray will be amazing. You're out of your mind.


My first Shitty_Watercolour !

I feel like i finally am a Redditor!

Also Mr. Watercolour... How did you know my grandbo loved his teal dress shirts? Are... you?!....no, can't be...

... I miss you...


Ctrl + F, and 'Nickelback'. Was not disappointed


Some people REALLY hate going to the DMV.


Sorry, seems like no one cares :)


I've had my concerns - sometimes she takes my nuts and hides them in her mouth.

*Suspicious*


He's an idiot from SRS. Stop wasting your time.


Have my account. Have it all. Just take it. You deserve it more than I.


if all you see in this video is a wrecked vehicle and some lightly injured people ... you might just be a redneck


Not sure if that question was relevant to your username on purpose or not.


came here to say that now gimme upvotes... sorry i came from r/circlejerk.


I mean, the legs were tiny. That's why they snapped


If it wasn't for Gunner downvotes...


Except one is clearly black and one is clearly white. I think your child might be blind. And, assuming that he is, why were you playing Guess Who with a blind child? You're a sick man.


Downvote for using Obama around here in A) lower case, B) anything other then divine context!

Ok, I didn't really downvote. No Vote for you!

dang it, I ~~upvoted~~ downvoted...

Edit: appeal more to the masses.


I think there's just meteorites that streaked and hit other meteorites back and forth and then I think it stops.


This needs more upvotes.


>weenie

Are you still 13?


Yep, the head of the CIA picked him up on his shoulders carried him all the way to Bagdad gave him the keys to city and a trillion dollars to do as he pleases.


I guess a sense of humor. Sense of humor is the most attractive quality.


Yo.  LATER BRO.

After the smoke is clear from all these bombs you Gambino fans drop on me, this will be the thread where we can actually talk about this Ghostface song.

How good do you think Ironman is funcrusher?

Edit: DOWNVOTES?!? REALLY? I guess you guys don't like Ghostface *:(sosad*


If not, would you like some?


And search for what? Button? That there some good results


And then for the next few weeks every time you fall asleep you dream that everything is the way it used to be or that whatever happened was just some sick joke. So every time you wake up it's like that first morning all over again, like you're being slammed against a brick wall every fucking time. Worst feeling ever and it doesn't go away.


Odds are I have fapped to her, since I spent years living in Mississippi.

Please PM me with the name.


This is why I style my hair to cover my ears.  Then no one will ever know my true thoughts!


I used to be a chill mo'fucka, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Yeah that's like dating a single mom.


Hivemind, upvote me if there is more than one of you!


You lean to one side.

Why would you stand up? Your ass cheeks squish together!


Or you could BUY the series you enjoy?


I like this because in your vision you die, but you die successful.


A more local sub is pretty much your only option...This won't get upvoted enough for visibility here, but in a smaller sub it might.
Edit: haha, proven wrong, I guess. I was just trying to be helpful when this was a new post. What's up with the down votes?


Your mom sounds awesome!


OKAY MY BAD, do you still get the point?

Thought so.


I have never in my entire life wanted a penis sheath as much as I do right now.


*edit* I deleted this comment because I was drunk at the time and said something incredibly hostile and stupid. My apologies.


Hey, I'm a theatre major, and I find this rather offen- ahh, shit, sounds about right.


I think I'm gonna ride this karma train to the top.


But mom, I'm already 'up'.


Thank you!! It is very scary, because we spent a lot of time eating right and excersizing right so that our baby could develop healthily, and the thought of injecting live viruses, chemicals and animal products into her bloodstream is unsettling.
I wonder how many people who call my wife an idiot here are actually parents.


Damn, Jackie! At least let our relationship with Cuba warm up a bit first!


did you even watch the video?


Or the guy really had no clue who the kid was, and he was a socially awkward penguin... The look really meant, "Oh god they think he's MY kid... I better take him away now"


Here you go

http://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ


How does one reply to such a question in an interview setting? Just curious.


I AGREE WITH reachforthesun182


I love self-deprecating humor. Unfortunately, I'm terrible at it.


I really hate people like you. It's not transphobia, the people at the bottom are most likely right. Scarlett is a man, and should never under any circumstance, be accepted as a woman. Transphobia should be the logical mindset that everyone has.


When I saw camera diving into the Pyro's eyes I thought "now it's gonna be just like that old 4chan post where pyro thinks he makes everyone happy". And so it was. And it was awesome.


This, and your 'question', are both more than I ever needed to know about you or anybody.  This was also the question that led to me unsubscribing from r/AskReddit.  Just so you all know.


He showed up at a signing and was really adorable so I slipped him my #.


not me i have played mmo's for 10 minutes in total