Right, because it's his fault his neighbours decided to break the law.


You're already smarter than Bill O'reilly.


Thanks for stopping by!


Yes you can, now sit down.


*Cheating whore* wins again. FTFY


Measure twice, cut educational funding


That's a funny way to spell "only"


And then after she dumps him, he gets another hottie?  It's so unbelieveable they actually have his parents make fun of it.


I hate high fiving all together. I think it's typical brutish male behavior and I never liked being expected to participate in it. When done in the office, it just seems ultra dumb. I'd leave some people hanging sometimes or do a half limp wristed medium 5.


Sometimes you're just sitting there and it happens. And you look down like "What is it, boy?! What do you see?"


YOUR DOCTORATE IS IN JERKFACENESS NOT IN PSYCHOLOGY


Well there's your problem.  Fishermen shouldn't be building bridges!


I've seen this posted [before though.](http://m.imgur.com/yDo5S7A) Sorry for bursting the bubble guys.


**Booooooooooooooooo**


LlLllllLLLllOOOooooOoooLLll!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I sEe wHaT YOu diD THAr!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!! NevER SaW THIs coMInq!!! RoMNEy 4 PResiDeNt he unDERSTanDs uS!!!!


I don't think more alcohol is the right message here


its not a cover

dumbass


lol no, [but you can!](http://i.imgur.com/Pu9Fljd.gif)


this should get so many more upvotes


I declare a Jihad on split ends.


I'll take "Therapist," please. 'Therapist" for 400.


QWOP4: Modern Warflop


EXACTWY DA SAME MOMMY EXACTWY DA SAME!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!


I need the extended version where he runs away from these guys by stealing a motorcycle because he still has his clutch hand.


Finally someone bm'ing whitera...oh god I hate this overrated guy.


There will never be any about me, because I never left the house! Ha...ha....haa^aaa^aaa^aa^a


I don't think you know what a flop is.


Yes, at first glance he has humor about it. But every night when you all go home, he lays in bed and cries his eye out.


I used to think that it seems like Viserion, Rhaegal and Drogon are having fun, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Step three: ask for a little off the sides every haircut


I would have fucked your dead mother, what a babe.


What the hell just happened.


Yes, what a [good sport](http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/sarah-palin-chick-fil-a-facebook.jpg)


Yes, the water is very cold so I throw mine over the shoulder.


"I sat on a big dick, now I'm dead. #YOLO" - a tweet.


Retired and bought an RV at 8.


OP meant that eventhough she just got pregnant, she has looked like this for the past 3 years...

Doesn't surprise me though, that people trying to take a cheap shot at stranger online, for the sake of being found cool by other strangers online, would mis that.

edit: Haha, over 60 children downvoted me. I bet you all got your panties in a twist. xD


I was looking at pictures on someone's phone once, and I asked if it was safe to keep scrolling. It got grabbed off me so fast...

The answer was **NO**.


You guys fucking suck at this. When there is something sexual in the picture, you ignore it and talk about something else. That's how comedy is made.


came for the photoshop. was not disappoint.


Tell that to the niggers who call each other niggers and think it's okay.

If the word had the same meaning, they wouldn't call each other that now would they.


Oh man, I kinda saw this one coming, haha.  Just shampoo, maybe conditioner, no particular brand or whatever. Its really thin so I just use wax/pomade from Keihl's (product placement?).  And once in a while go to a cool barber called Freeman's.


>go on /r/4chan

>see album on frontpage

>go to comments

>see highest rated comment

>re-post picture from album

>be a faggot

I am OP.


A few years back one of my friends started going out with this girl. Obviously the questions start to come out "have you done it yet" etc. He told us they had had sex but he didn't think she enjoyed it that much. We asked what happened, to which he replied, "She told me to stop spitting on her pussy."


Sure, but i`m not sure if the other people around us thought the same...


yeah you could tell he was uncomfortable, like there's this girl giving a heartfelt speech about her family's struggle against cancer and here I am just playing zelda in a fucking link costume.


thank you for catching that. i was confused when i saw my karma because it was 1 before this post


I like to imagine fire hydrants, mailboxes, pedestrians, etc. just bouncing off the windshield as they casually have their little chat on the highway.


Dont know, dont care. If not them then something else will find a way. Either way, its not my problem.


I need to take Xanax because I'm terrified of speaking in front of people.


Nothing.  They are fake lesbians for karma.


you're the worst kind of person.


Yeah, being right all the time can get exhausting for me.


"Welcome to the neighborhood!"

"I am a vocal masterbater."


Being a tub of lard isn't something you're born with, at least for the majority of people.  Some people are born socially awkward, people aren't born at 500 lbs (obviously because that's simply impossible).


You should really pay your hookers man... That's low


Some of us look at more than one thing per day on here ;)


V to A, you're okay!

A to V, hurts when you pee!


Incorrect use of contingency, this is a backup.


The worst part is that Gawker is now going to go on a tirade about coca cola using Mein Kampf in their advertising and act all indignant and offended.

Gawker's entire modus operandi is to create controversies themselves, because then they get to be the first ones to report on those controversies.


Still can't play mw3 so it's worthless


Usually Sears.

You came from Kmart though. Much cheaper.


It has.  Just not how you'd think


Granny dropping knowledge on these fools.


There are no standardized tests for maturity as far as I'm aware.


Iron Man!

We need a plan of attack!  I have a plan:  ATTACK!


I... inception?

Edit: Jesus Christ you guys, this is not what I want to wake up to! ಠ_ಠ

Should I have done the Xhibit joke instead?

WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME?


you know what the worst thing about being a slave is? they make you work all day but they don't pay you or let you go


You sure sound like a fat ass. Post height and weight. Prove it's you with timestamp and namestamp


He accidentally wrote a check.  Happens all the time.


The D-pad is quite good actually, however it gets pretty dirty like a coin


I think he was driving through my email in 2001...


downvote for using too many !s


Why do you live in a frozen toyota?


C C C COMBO BREAKER!!!!


So was the username pukedick1 already taken?


And here's the exact reason why people say this subreddit just just a big pile of immature bullying.


I like this one

Edit: Just failed this one hard.

"I went in to a pet shop, I said, "Can I get a goldfish?" the guy said "do you want a fish tank?" I said "I don't care what star sig... shit"


You actually logged in to Eve Online: A Terrible Internet Spaceship Game?

You poor bastard.


gf should have pokerfaced


meh, it's not like he is behind enemy lines.


I just realized how young I am


Jumping on this bandwagon for some karma! Special shout-out to Reddit for making my karma get up there!


>And yes I said 20, and not 17, because I'm not going to just fuck 17 of a guy's friends in front of him and not give him some love too, that shit would just be rude as hell.

That's actually really sweet of you,man. have my up vote :)


I have a masters degree. How mAny masters degrees do you have?


$$$$$$kachinggggg$$$$$$$


Auto-correct is a bitch, isn't it?


Mega Jesus of Rio, Mega Buddha of China and Mega Ghan of Mongolia. The dream team.


You just *got pwn3d by teh l337 modern redditorzz!!!111*


Well, I do respect my parents but just because they are your parents doesn't mean they are always right. I think learning to speak up to your parents is an important part of becoming an adult.


wow thats some gay fucking shit... stop dating chinks and maybe you wont be gay anymore


They are even better when she is in shape.


This subreddit is dead.


More like OKStupid amiright?


look at my comment history do you honestly think i give a shit about karma LOL just because you worry about some internet points doesn't mean everyone does.

hate having to have this kind of argument with pathetic internet dwellers like you so ima disable inbox replies, cya scrub


Little something to ease the pain:  you've never touched your mom's vagina


Yeah it also looks staged.


The mini coffee maker.


As an American, I don't care much for the COLOR they used for their chart.


Generally the first time a woman sees your penis, you should already be hard. If she catches a glimpse of it afterwards, then just shout Eh-neeek-chock and become large. She will think you have superpowers.

I'm very proud of the above paragraph. It starts off so reasonable!


Depends on the mushroom. Some cause kidney failure, some cause liver failure, some are neurotoxic, etc.

And it wasn't a good point.


She should have remembered the "patient" part.


That doesn't make them part of the Navy. The Navy doesn't get to tell them what to do.


first youtube then liveleak, incase youtube takes it down for whatever reason.


LEAVE THIS MAN ALONE, HE JUST WANTS THE REDDIT COMMUNITY TO ADMIRE HIS RETARD DAUGHTER!!! HAVE SOME COMPASSION!!!


I was born at 9:18am, whippersnapper.


must be a lot of sensitives in here.  those who are easily offended.  of whom none dare speak negatively of due to their sensitive natures.  that's right, brainwashed liberals.


And this is how you know it's [really bad](http://i.imgur.com/Q0u7o.jpg).


Ditto. The only real mistake here is admitting that PHP is your language of choice :) but if we're a PHP shop or you have GPP skills, I'd overlook it.


Then you're gonna hate election season in the US.


That parachute isn't very iri*descent*.


That's so hot, keep going.


IRONICALLY, IT WAS "GUNNEDDOWNBYNIGGS"


Honestly, without a proper stereo field the immersion is lost.


Fuck off and get gassed kike.


http://imgur.com/nStZz

PSA: http://imgur.com/kdXwB


you are an idiot and you don't even understand why. Sad really.


Geez, he was just asking a question!!


Maybe you should try typing the name of the cartridge in your search engine of choice and see what comes up, next time?


No man, you're mixed up. Ten years ago was *1990...*


I lol'd so hard at step 3.


On the other side of that, I often play out scenes of how I would react if a shooter bust through the door of the boring lecture I'm in.


Yeah I'm feeling incredibly envious of other teams following our 5-0 drubbing of Villa yesterday.


Sorry, but I'm gonna need verification from a mod to believe this one.


Grow a fucking sense of humor you infantile moron. Idiots like you are slowly removing more and more expression from the world because you want everyone around you to think you're worldly and open-minded, when in reality you are nothing more than attention-seeking and simple-minded.


thank you for reinforcing my preconceived notion that australia is a continent hell bent on murdering all of it's inhabitants.


omg kid no one asked you to get offended on behalf of xixo rofl


Same, they'd probably end up firing me anyway after a few calls:

>Do you want a Snoo?

>No

>Alright, bye.


Almony? You're a fucking shame to all men.


Definitely. Blow this place up so they don't see anyones money for at least a couple more weeks


Awesome! Have an up-vote!


Definitely the single celled organism.


I think this should be a lesson for everyone. YOU DO NOT PLAY MANA MILLHOUSE. NEVER.


Seconding this, it was an automatic response to seeing the blood, you have nothing to feel guilty about.


I speak from experience.  Please don't.


Well, now we know how fucking magnets work.


It was playing violin music


Or Wendy's fries in Frosties.


I clicked back while reading your comment and just for mentioning Barney I had to go back and give you an upvote. Damn you sir.


Or a genius. What better way to break up with someone by acting so idiotic that the other person feels beyond compelled to break up with you?


Actually, it doesn't.  What's left just hypertrophy's to pick up the load from the body.  He'll have to avoid alcohol and acetaminophen for the rest of his life.


I can't speak for anyone else but most of the enjoyment I get out of "69" is the fact that she can't concentrate enough to suck my cock.  Knowing I'm making her fumble around and lose the rhythm is hot!


I used to go away forever, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


this would be legendary.


What the fuck does that mean ?

Did you read the article ?

Edit : Sorry, you just learned about the internet.....yes, Israel is new, Palestine existed before it, and Israel is not the chosen one who can do no wrong....Kaiser.


haha yeah...wait *what*


I want this comment to have three hidden replies, so I blame Obama. We never should have let a nigger into the WHITE house.


He can wipe away his tears with piles of money.


No offense but I laughed really hard at this mistake. BIG difference ;-)


I think you're an angry self-hating little girl, and the article I posted provoked a visceral reaction in you that says a whole lot more about you, than anything you said about me.


I suppose that the stereotype is technically true. Maybe black people do like watermelon and fried chicken, the story just neglects to mention that everybody else does as well.


LINUX>=windows

Sorry, my inner geek got the best of me. (Linux users can get quite pretentious. ) I don't mean to start a flame war. I edited the comparison to make you windows users happy.


It's not impossible. I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two meters.


Shortcut to the Forza 4 demo.


but ends meat is so much tastier than regular meat!


You're gay. He has a dick.


I'd still lock the door.


In the 30s, German "independent doctors" practiced "medicine" and "research" that today we now see as crimes against humanity.

On top of that, there are doctors who also say that vaccines can be dangerous and should not be a blanket, mandatory thing.


Now he has to deal with people taking selfies in the hallway during nightshift and complaining how their feet hurt while chilling at the nursing station


no thank u (dont downvote)


hahahaha you made my day sir, have an imaginary penguin as a proof of my gratitude.


Just wait until she finds out her dad's reddit name is pornchitect


Open thread. Control F "Breaking Bad." Upvote that comment. Close thread.


African or European? (smc)


those ragheads are just trying to fool us. they re fucking backward and demented. sharriah law is coming one way or another. they re trying to even make it become law in america for fucks sake. the idea that it wont become law in tunisia is fucking bullshit

never trust these backward cultures and religions. these sandniggers will screw you over whenever they can


Just letting you know:)

I should also add that I don't like male gamers either.

If you really define yourself with the term "gamer" it is sad, is that all you are? a gamer?  Anyway gl hf!


Come on man, we can be respectful. I would respect the *shit* out of them. SO hard.


Your downvotes just go to show how blind these peasants are. These filthy degenerates destroy anything of quality and spew useless asinine reasons for the filth left in their wake.


"AAARGH IT BURNS!".....sluuuurp..."AAAAARGH!"....slurp


if really zai was the one who microed RTZ... Then this kid is fucking insane. RTZ heros are set to Legacy keys. And if he microed RTZ he couln't see the hotkey in the top left. So he just learned a lagacy layout of an hero in less then a game....


Are you sure your old roommate's name isn't [George](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLwxKmor-xo)?


Sure man, "none of you are mad" lol, too bad the points show otherwise.  I honestly had no idea it was so simple to pop your angry little heads off with this "le" shit.

Fucking awesome.


Out of all the replies this was the one that cracked me up the most. It's just so unreasonable.


Someone gild this sir or madam.


Oh god, you were that kid.  I think every school has to have that kid, or some variant thereof.


you are using the word PRO very loosely. that doesnt happen to pro sometimes too its happens to PLEBS with no team comms


sooo Off would be dancing to thriller then


It's been said before, but I'd bet all of his subscribers that he is gay.


This is beyond some Live Leak type of shit!


My life matters. I'm a human.


If you're scared of becoming an asshole, you won't be an asshole.


Best Novelty Account of 2011 Contender.

Edit: What the fuck just happened?


actually all modern jumbo jets can land and fly themselves with no pilots... the pilots are there for emergencies, weather, and to calm the fuck everyone down because people don't trust computers for some reason.


Put a camera in your mom's mouth?


I used to be rising, but than I took a arrow to the knee ! D-:


/reddit

WE'RE DONE HERE.


THERTS WERL THERGHT ERT!


It wasn't legitimate hickey rape, or his body would have shut down and rejected the hickey


Hey, good for u, u made a connection. Was worried if all the fat in your head prevented u from making them anymore. It's clear u were having trouble back there. But it's OK champ we all try our best, just some aren't as well off from the get go.


I WILL SHIT ON EVERYTHING OF HERS FOR YOU.


I used to drown, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


***I HOPE YOUR DAUGHTERS ASSHOLE GETS RAPED BY A NIGGER YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT FAGGOT OF A DAD. YOUR WHATS WRONG WITH AMERICA. YOU'RE FUCKING IT UP FOR EVERYONE ELSE. KILL YOURSELF.***

***AND FUCK YOU'RE OTHER KIDS TOO***

***FUCK, WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY FUCKING KIDS/ JESUS CHRIST LEARN HOW TO ABORT***

## ***BECK/PALIN 2010***


That, gentlemen, is the definition of pure evil.


I used to understand, and think that it was pretty apparent, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


You've never been to a university, have you?


Nappies?  Diapers in the States.  But still what 4 / 5 year old is still in diapers???  Sorry, by that age, unless there is brain damage, a child has TOTAL control over their bladder, and enough language to be able to say, " I need the potty!"   Ewwww.


You should really watch other movies. There are some good ones out there.


You're delusional.

I love both Apple and Samsung, I have an iPad and a Galaxy S3, but to say anyone copied anyone is just ridiculous, anti-competitive, and is ruining innovation for all companies.


And here I am with an infinite amount of knowledge around me, and the prospect of achieving great things... and I'm on reddit.


dont say "break" say "slate" or perhaps a word the represents something more permanent. remember: be clear.

or you could give him another chance. thats what id do. the crazy ones always fuck really good.

edit: whats up with all the downvotes? im clearly kidding. jeez


Or [the original save device](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/23/Rosetta_Stone.JPG)


Too fat.

I'm 6'4'' and can rock a medium.


If any fans called LIGHTS Valerie she would get a little mad mabey hahah LOL


I don't remember that episode...


this thread has 29 comments...what do u define as a **whole lot**?


Engagement rings are supposed to show a formal agreement to a proposed marriage and is a present typically for the wife to be, the actual ring(the one you're supposed to wear closest to the base of your finger as it's supposed to be closest to the heart) is for the actual marriage and is to show you have been married.


this horse has been beatin to death.  Yes we ALL know.


If your friend does not get pee shivers, he is the weird one.


Of course it does, fag.


Shit, I'd let him go.


i dont believe that for a second. they may work hard to stay in shape but features are something youre born with. being good looking is for the most part, luck of the draw.


Compared to the long, eloquent letters he wrote home, my version is kind of tame.


I dont she why she doesnt just blow her dad and bring the mouth full of cum to the judge. Edit, whats with the downvotes? 19 is legal in my country


My girlfriend knew that a guy's dick gets bigger when it's erect, but she had no idea that it can be a 4:1 ratio.  She couldn't stop staring at it.


Facebook status: updated.


My best friend in high school was named Crisco.  We called him Lard for shortening.


stop using this. you're not even doing it right


Oh man, I do remember this. I initially joined Reddit to do an AMA and thought "this site is terrible, I can't do all of these replied fast enough!" I was unaware of all of these rules.


Hey notch, any chance I can get a code for my girlfriend? :) Unfortunately I don't have any good screenshots that could be used.

edit: lol at the massive amounts of butthurt this caused. holy shit, reddit. I was only half serious. [The other half was dead serious.](/spoiler)


It's perfectly clear. She calls the husband a selfish bastard, and then uses the pictures against herself in court to get custody of the kids she already had. Right?


Shot of a lion. WOW, FUCKING INCREDIBLE REDDIT.

If you think this is the coolest photoshoot ever, you've clearly been spending too much time watching gay sex tapes.


Please watch this orientation video: https://youtu.be/8LmPBPWHJu4


Why can't I beat the hivemind so I can get the karma, I needs it, I needs the karma


Grades get you into college. People get you into jobs.

Edit: Yes, I know it's not *just* people who can get you into jobs and that grades are still important. I'm just saying that some careers rely heavily on connections to get you into the industry.


Rumor Has It that Adele likes food...


Two Whites don't make a Wong.


I thought that the point was to contrast [a serial killer](http://youtu.be/5rXPrfnU3G0?t=4m46s) with an innocent child.


Bottom half of IMDB ratings.


Upvote for fight club.


It was the least I could do for you both. Shitty taxi drivers like that give the city a bad name. Have a safe journey home.


Pierce Brosnan is guilty.


( •_•)  Hopefully
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
it goes down soon.


you know you just pulled a lot of probablies out of your ass to justify a definite, right?


So the _worst_ you have is the selfie stick? ...do you guys accept immigrants?


I don't know what the hell you were thinking, but you don't talk about downvotes. Never talk about downvotes.


SORCERY!

BURN THE WITCH!!


"hi, I noticed you were vapid enough to participate in something like a "miss video game" competition and I make a lot of money selling generic games to dude-bros.  Want to come marry my money?"

"teehee ok!"


That would probably make someone feel better until they find out the movie is called Ugly Midgets.


lmao "erections" lmao


Obviously you didn't do a great job.


Good to know. I prefer mine uncircumcised


I think most manly men are into fucking Katy Perry.


With handwriting like that, we aren't talking about a she here. Even in second grade girls have superior handwriting.

Edit: yeah yeah yeah I'm stupid I know


Yeah I hate how the second you lose your job they confiscate all your money.


I'm sorry for you loss too. Unless they did something stupid like walking out in front of a car without looking. Then I'm sorry for the driver whose life is going to be ruined.

edit: read the rest of the comments before you downvote, jerks.


They promote learning by showing what happens when you don't.


"WOW! I found an old NES cartridge and everybody needs to know about it! Let me turn /r/gaming into more cancer by saturating it with even more old nintendo related posts! Because nobody has seen enough of people's old "gems" or hidden finds.


sex.com, porn.com, travel.com, fuck.com, money.com, loans.com, mortgage.com, internet.com, email.com, milk.com, food.com, vodka.com, etc.com

vodka.com was sold for $3m a few years ago.

reddit.com, google.com, etc. are worthless in this scenario.


People say the same when I talk about Carl Sagan too. I just don't get  it. What is wrong with liking Sagan, Tyson, Nye, Pratt, Murray etc?


Well.. at least you saw it coming.


Marshawn Lynch is a selfish, petulant, infant.

"BUH... BUH... BUT I **WANNA** WEAR MY GOLD SHOES!"

Edit: Bring it on, but you know if anyone in your life acted like he does you'd be saying the same thing. He might be a great running back, but that doesn't make him any less of a child.

ITT: Seahawks fans with their homer goggles on.


So the writers basically did the most badass audition ever?

Edit: yay, highest comment!


Hello,

Please Be Aware That While We Strive To Have A Safe And Welcoming Sub For All Non-Shitlords On Reddit, We Take Rediquitte As Seriously As The Rest Of Reddit Does.

If You Feel This Has Adequately Resolved Your Concerns About Shit Reddit Says, Please Delete This Thread! Thank You For Your Cooperation!


Now I want to use "I'm a gynecologist so cunts are my business."


I'd say SBC is kind of a racist himself. The Dictator was one of the most disrespectful movies i've seen since Don't Mess with the Zohan.

edit: downvotes.

Yes good. Gooood. Give me all of your hate. Dumbass hypocrites.


Why? You finally get a hole to actually fuck a foot and you just quit?


and not funny on tv *and* in real life


Fine...I'll sacrifice myself for you Jamie.


Homosexuals like you should be stoned to death and impaled and quartered at the same time, fucking faggot, your homosexual beliefs are perverted and unnatural, God bless America.


Major flaw.  Half of us won't even leave the house that day


cant tell if serious or not?!


To be fair cracked was always clickbait. It's just now a more preachy less fun clickbait.


downvoted for trying to steal my karma


A whoooooooole neeeww world.


You could at least double check your math, especially when an eight year old could tell that you're wrong.


It's impossible to say. I've done over 50,000 Interviews. I guess I would say Frank Sinatra only because he didn't do interviews, and he was hard to get, but he did it because he liked me. It was a very personal and wonderful interview because I am such a fan of his.


No problem!  I'm on my cell phone that can't cut and paste. So because you are too lazy to Google the shit I'll make you a list when I'm on my PC tomorrow.


Because teenage drinking is wrong.

LeBron got yo back


so glad he's dead you weak faggot


My biggest fear as a "grower" is that more women think this way.


Meh.

Who says: "Man, let me see that?'

Nobody.

*"Nigga, lemme see dat shit."*

Then, it would have been convincing.


>sunscribe
>>unsuscribe

This is getting out of hand.


Most survivor stories can't be verified as they were clueless to what was actually going on during their stay. Also, a lot of survivors are trained to embellish by their brothers who are using the holocaust to get away with their genocide and imprisonment of Palestinians since 1897.


haha i know right, text me


Oh I didnt realize you got off on infants


This motherfucker has a **wife?** Are you completely positive that it's not just the asshole, wearing a wig?


Violence against men: funny.

Violence against women: deplorable.


I'm 32, but I look like I'm in my early 20's. We also have a lax dress code in the biology department so I was wearing jeans, a blouse and a blazer.


At least I'm not gay.


Yeah, to me it does.  I mean, if he has no reason for it, why not just let it go?  Why pay for something you don't need or use?


He became a strawberry milkshake.


wow why isn't this being buried in downvotes... do people actually believe this guy won a xbox? people on reddit are even stupider than i thought they were...


undocumented democrats


Shut the fuck up. Did you not hear? FOR PUSSIES.


Looks like they were pestoring you.


It's karma. Who fucking cares?

Edit: come on everyone, just 680 more downvotes to bring me to zero.  We can do this.


>I'm p cray.

I hate you


I see what you did there.


You know why I do what I do...


Nothing in the comment even insinuated a joke...my bad for not catching it


Have an upvote for trying. We appreciate the effort.


Yup, trying to steel some karma...  Credit to houseloop for the title also...


> ohhhh genitals, what are you doing here!

The number of times i have had to say this.


you are right. i really couldn't give a shit. sorry for muddying the waters


Don't laugh, it's a real problem that affects thousands of planes every year.


Hey... I lied like 6 hours ago. I'm a whole new person now! I swear I've turned over a new leaf.


what the fuck? Has she never looked up?!


Admiring*. Saying "mirin brah" everywhere doesn't help counteract the meathead stereotype.


Unfortunately, given their current lineup of programs, they'll be more likely broadcasting shows about paranormal events in pawn shops


You've clearly never smoked a joint.


"IOU one shiny ring!"


Balls. I searched like crazy, thought this was genuine OC from one of my facebook friends who owns two dogs.
Bollocks.


That would've also been a crime


Yeah bro. Don't use anything other than my preferred site, bro.


Let this be known henceforth as the "Lesbian Porn Paradox".


I down voted him for disagreeing with fact.


Turns out the entire class got their papers from Reddit.


LmAo NiiiiiiCe LoGiiiiiiiiiiiiC YoU MoRoN !


Better use a Nokia. Don't want her getting up any time soon.


So...why are you on /r/trees...?


These kids are the exact sort of people that the real Che would have literally shot on sight.


Came here to say that, leaving satisfied.


Based on my Roller Coaster Tycoon experience, I'd say I'm qualified to run said amusement park. I'll be expecting your call.


**B O N E R C E P T I O N**

Edit: Comment at [edit: -92] points...Looks like reddit saw this comment and had a...(sunglasses)...

**C O N N I P T I O N**

*ha haaa, downvote awayyyyyyyy*


nope. both beard and soul were mortally offended. beard integrity prevailed. found a beard loving female that night though. you win some, you beard some.


downvoted because fuck you


Drawings of Purr Box and Elephant (which should totally be a cartoon on Nickelodeon).

Purr Box - https://imgur.com/dmw2khT

Elephant - https://imgur.com/c0ylOUk


Did all the girlies say he's pretty fly for a white guy?


Nervous boner

Power boner

Excitement boner

Regular boner

Bi curious boner

Weird boner

Sexy dream boner

Just have to pee boner

Memory boner

*fear boner...*

Edit: thank you for the gold boner


I take this attitude with everyone, it has nothing to do with reddit.


"George Bush does not care about black people." - George W. Bush


Things that don't exist can't hate anything


If a man builds a thousand bridges and sucks *one* dick, they don't call him a bridge-builder... they call him a cocksucker.   -- Abraham Lincoln


Oh man SRS will be so happy to read this.

I really don't get the downvotes ಠ_ಠ. Can't a guy make a joke here?


I work at Papa Johns and I've never heard of this. Enjoy your local deal.


Judaism is not a race. The post in question deals with Judaism... but I guess the idea of Jewish people being stingy refers to ethnic-Jews & not solely Judaists (Judaists... religious-Jews, can be ethnic-Jews or Japanese or any other ethnicity.)


This is disturbingly genius. Surely she suspects the script is the same?

edit: accidental ~~alliteration~~ sibilance ahaha!


Uh sure, [you think the reason trans people get killed is because we are angry about getting killed.](http://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/yx7qe/if_we_took_away_womens_right_to_vote_wed_never/c5zxrig) You have no room to call anyone a sociopath.


Two words: poon tang.


England doesn't exist any longer. What used to be England is a sea of Arabs and blacks. There are mosques on every London streetcorner. The last vestages of what people think of when they think of England ceased to exist around 10 years ago.


> what's better than that?

I dunno... it feels like... kinda... everything?


sometimes more sometimes less I dont count


Pissing into an ocean of piss


But it's also the most random hack. So it's 200% worth playing.


And when no cars were behind you, having to wait until you passed a streetlight and pausing until you passed another one


great aspirations buddy. you want to post mildly clever comments on the internet for fake points. your parents must be proud


Imageshack tried to buy it 6 months after I made it. Glad I didn't sell...

Imgur is now bigger than they are, as well as yfrog which is by the same company.


Diddy main here, not amused.... -.- lol


I tried that once and ended up doing a breathalyzer.


This very same drawing?


Thanks!  President of the world will make you his assistant!


le 4chan is the best amirite thumps up if u agree le reddit army!!!!!!!111


Really? You need to get out more.


How many times have I heard that one...

Edit: Oh wow, could I possibly find a worse place to reply wrongly to? Meant to reply to above comment, as in, I'm a designer and I hear that all the time too.

Reddit giveth and taketh away.  It stays.


The sooner she gives up her delusions of a career in art the better. Hopefully before she runs up a 80k bill at the the Art institute®.


"Hey Jim, it's the sock guy again."
Jim looks up from the counter, spotting the customer over the clothing section. He waves. "Hey, sock guy!"
Sock guy doesn't respond and just stares at the cashier, mad eyes wide open.

*thesockscontrolmemanpleasehelppleasestopme*

Jim purses his lips and awkwardly goes back to attending the customers.


Funny on how everything on the internet is a repost.  You're just the asshole that has to prove a point that all redditors are aware of.


Huh.  One might almost think that putting the least ambitious people into leadership positions is a good strategy for a society.


Who the fucks fault was it than?  The underpants gnomes?  Reality check folks.  If your dog is freaking out and in pain, something is wrong.


My dad found out I was sneaking whisky from him once and he replaced it with chicken broth. I took a big swig and &#3232;\_&#3232;'d immediately


Do people actually complain about Norton? It's one of the best antivirus softwares out there


With your luck combined... It would probably just be a split stream that goes everywhere except the toilet bowl.


I don't identify myself as a feminist, you assumed it.
you should be ashamed for your complete lack of awareness of yourself.


Or the "I will shout at eight year olds at soccer games"-haircut


I don't like to be called a whore. BUT SERIOUSLY HAHAH EVERYONE HATES MY WORDS.


I live in New Zealand. The quality of journalism here is appalling. If I make it the whole way through an article and there are no typos, I actually do think that.


That's not a happy ending. The woman set a man on fire and killed him, which is far worse than raping someone. She should be in jail for life.


No, ugly kids get rocks thrown at them as they approach the Friendly's. They're not very friendly at all there.


This is now the new hub for all things unexpected!


The inclusion of mobile broadband on that list is HUGE since it's always been excluded from previous attempts at regulation.


But not the one it needs right now..


Just as gramps would have wanted.


Racist.

EDIT: Come on, everyone. This guy's a fuckin' racist and you all know it.

EDIT EDIT: Newsflash: pointing out somebody's ethnicity when it has no relevance is racist.

EDIT EDIT EDIT: geraffes are so dumb


I think a month later I was trying to look at myself naked in the bathroom mirror by standing on a hamper and it fucking flipped over and I slammed my back on the bath. I was like right I think I've pissed him off.


63.47 km/h=(60 mph-20 mph)= 40 mph.
 -Artist formerly known as therightwayistheamericanway#standardsystem


Iraqommend it - Critic #4


its ok to make mistakes, i actually think you should read over the reddiquette a few more times for next time you make a post


Shoot hoops. Not brothas.


I'd be an idiot if I grinned like that too! Wait...

Edit: this is the most negative comment karma I've ever gotten...


Oh dear god. His plan is unfolding perfectly.


He sounds like a 90s printer!


This is a wonderfully redeeming story.


You r supposed to capitalize Redsox. Its called a pronoun.


Why not just read your list and then check them all off?


Damn, bad face then.  Just close your eyes and picture someone else and it'll be worth it.


Better than sucking dick.

Thanks for the gold stranger!


no its not. hes a fucking retard who should be shot. that kiunda shit if unacceptable. how can liberals even find this funny? that is blatant disprecpt for girls.


like morality, education, science... pretty much everything


Quite humorous. Here is an up-vote for your comedic comment.


Boxer-briefs? Nah, fuck it. Tampon up the crack.


Why would I delete this post? And I'm just posting a review so other redditors who might check out a meetup know what to expect. I met a few outside with my last cigarette, and they mentioned how they avoided the whole group like the plague.

Just my own two cents on my own free internet.


Is there something wrong with a woman named Steve?


lol wtf? i bet he got so much more puss then you? goal achieved


You have got to see Big Fat Liar instead.
For clarification this movie is dope.


An idiot with some good looking paper credentials is still an idiot. It's best to give credit where credit is due; the engineers behind the Apollo spacecraft. Sorry, but any and all accomplishments he might have had to brag about were rendered null and void after the ridiculous mumbo jumbo he blurted out on the moon.


Half the person, half the price.  Logic.


Meanwhile, complaining that shit gets old never gets old.


He's hit that far too early for me, Clive


Because quit obviously a God decided to save you amongst the millions of dying children. It would be kind of selfish to become religious after that.


Oh god this is just like one of those youtube comments about "good" music.


Hear that? that's my karma going down the drain.


my happiest memory is when I met my best friend.


Because people with minimum wage jobs need tips?


But the blood could be invisible, then you just dented your car.


yes, that's it. We banned people for nothing more than disagreeing with us. Righto, you know absolutely what you are talking about.


Until you said it was subtle I imagined a lopsided troll like person.


NO!  Downvote this terrible gif.  Reaction gifs of beautiful women?  Thats not what the internet is about.


You poor soviets with your megablocks.


Bored by YOUR foreplay maybe lol you're probably just not doing the right things


> It's ridiculous how **males** who are friendly with children are automatically branded a paedophile.

FTFY.  OP never said or even hinted about his/her gender, but everyone knows automatically, because if this were a female, nobody would have called it unacceptable.

Edit: Never though I'd get my "Best Comment" trophy from a "FTFY" comment.


The MR movement is not a "civil rights group" it was declared a hate group by SPLC after months of investigation.


I was Cheeseburger Eddie from that moment on.


I come from the future to tell you that, unfortunately, four years from now, redditors have not significantly advanced much either.


I feel like this should be a twitter feed. @lifewithigor or something.


I was on a flight. I come back to Reddit to see this... It's horrifying. Those could've been **my** comments that got downvoted. all that lost karma...


Ah... ok. Was kinda freaking out there for a bit.


Thanks for that contribution loser


That's really not enough. They should honestly reimburse him for time lost. If there was a reason for a group of garbage men to go on strike I think this might be it. The prosecutor said that garbage men are a nuisance. That's a clear indication that their services are under valued.


That doesn't even make any sense.  So the bigger kid was getting hit and suddenly when the camera started rolling it stopped?  Then why weren't they fighting?  The taller kid was begging to be hit.  If you're saying tall kid was being hit, they would have been fighting.   Or this is some weird style of fighting where they take turns?


I have been telling my wife for over 20 years, and her retort is "The box says 'flushable'".  Yeah, is that box gonna pay the plumber this time?  It hasn't so far.


You are totally in the right here. On the other hand I hate frugal people more than I hate spoiled people. Its this persons big day and shes getting macbook tv iphone diamond necklace. If you say you'll  handle the ipad you better get a dam Ipad 3 sealed in the box.


The AMA is just a lobbying organization and membership is voluntary. Reporting him to his State Medical Board would be more appropriate.


On the one hand, even if the original is superior, why the hell would you assume something like this isn't from the movie that was JUST RELEASED.


This job ain't for everyone. But hay, it's in my jeans.


I bet this mod was made by a nazi. Where are the ukrainian soldiers bombing civilian towns?


Black or white, inside we are all [blue](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/007/951/temprate.jpg)


OH MAN A POLAROID CAMERA DURR DURRR DURRRR

-Stupid fucking hipster faggot


Padme could have done it. She was rich.


>beauty

You mean ugly skank


There is a radio comedy quiz show called *I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue* here in the UK. One of the rounds is called *The Uxbridge English Dictionary*, where the contestants have to come up with new definitions for existing words.

Stephen Fry famously came up with 'countryside: the crime of killing Piers Morgan'.

(Say it out loud)


strange your not getting downvotes....
oh well its reddit... bunch of idiots


I) I don't find the others funny.
2) They are pretty similar. The only difference is the suggestions. North America tends to be more pop culture oriented.
3)No, would you?


>Originally the phrasing was "No... sexism"

Nope.


Hmm I'm not convinced we'd work well together.


She's just so awesome. That's the kind of girl I'd want next to me for life. No doubt. Keep it up sjoks you are amazing :D


You were pretty determined to see your friend's dick.


Really? Only 2 comments and I still got beat to what I was going to say. Well played mind reader.


It got to a point where it felt weird looking at a billion pics of mysef, so I might have missed out on any recent ones within the past week or so.

There are a ton of great ones.  Off the top of my head, I like the "Record Milk Sales" one, the creepy Wolverine one and definitely the RPG photoshopped into the North By Northwest airplane scene.


yes i'm curious too.. normally when i post something like that, i get downvotes :-(


"We're looking for an entry level job BUT MUST HAVE 10 YEARS EXPERIENCE".


Yeah, people like you.


Circlejerker reddit

Praises Valve for a product that hasn't been released yet

Downvotes anyone who disagrees and refuses to acknowledge criticism


Shes a human being who doesnt need this kind of crap. Hate me all you want to, leave her the hell alone.


I feel like our usernames are relevant to each other.


actually its a fuckin meme you dumbass. trapped_in_reddit? maybe you should get outside and get a job how about taht?


Only because more people have gone to space than use G+


ALL ABORD THE DOWNVOTE TRAIN NEXT STOP ARROW TO THE KNEE'S HISTORY PAGE


also, she was male once.


how does it feel to have everything censored in your stalinist media?

its seems after all the only way to have your views pointed out is with new bombs.

or are perhaps supportive of more open debate without calling eveything the state disagrees with for propaganda


Because we don't use the metric system


Yeah but there's no "Y" in Welcome to Jamacia

Edit: Jesus Christ. I thought the Jamacian guy was SAYING have a nice day, you fucking stupid fucktard asshats. Relax.

OH. YES. GLORIOUS DOWNVOTES. LET THEM FLOW IN LIKE WATER, just because I know reddit will hate this, I AM A ROMAN CATHOLIC REPUBLICAN CONSERVATIVE WHO WILL BE VOTING FOR MITT ROMNEY THIS YEAR


Why is no one offering me these amounts to do those things


It's shit like this, haters...


Bonus points for out-nerding a nerd competition


The thing is though that the cops could have grabbed them at pretty much any time, particularly when they were going over the barriers.


"Haha made you look FAG"


only sixteen comments but of course there's already that one guy who wrote my exact words! I hate you ... but you are a good person


"If Christianity came from the Jews why do we still have Jews?"


Funny, that's how most of your country handles dealing with the war in the first place. Just ignoring it.


Not any more, fumblebuck. Not any more. Not since I quit drinking and smoking.


the Bork thing is played out let it go.


Back in my day, we had to listen to dubstep before we got on the internet.


I used to be certain that I had all the original parts, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


You're one of those rich bastards that got the sharpener....


why does anyone even care?


I watched a pirated movie. On a scale of 1 to 10 I'd give it 3.14.


Glad I called bullshit.


Iama Zorg, Grok me anything.


You do realize they're probably supporting her completely as far as food, phone, electricity, internet, the house she lives in, etc. right? I'm not saying they had a right to claim her school expenses, just that she really has no leverage over them.


Weirdest novelty account ever.


shut the fuck up, go back to shitredditsays and choke on some dicks.


Your little sister is amazing.


Goo GAH MAMA I WANA Pway!!! I used to be sexually abused because I deserved it like you, but then I took an arrow to da knee! GAH GOO!!


>**The Company Is Father. The Company Is Mother.**

tl;dr: no work? u shame famiry, commit sudoku


inapropes

edit: your downvotes would bother me if I thought any one of you would mourn my death. I know I won't go out a hero.


ever try to take it further by putting a leg up on the toilet or counter?


how so? I've gotten many like those before, while I'm out or over online, and it's nice. people do it at my school, and there's no issue with it. it's nice to get a compliment/'compliment'.  I don't see how this comment was creepy or intrusive at all. maybe it's an age thing? I'm 18, and these are common for people my age in my experiences.


Sounds like my CIV V tech tree


God has made this issue excessively clear:

John 1:10-1:11

10 If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into [your] house, neither bid him God speed:

11 For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.

---

My home is my business, and her evil deeds are her promotion of sexual immortality.


Fun fact, there actually aren't any female peacocks. Those are called peahens.


i was the 100th upvote wat do i win?


Bravery and sausages.


You mean you can tell by some of the *pixels*, and from having seen some fakes before.


1. The Moon landing
2. Very lost. Its not easy.  Keep an open mind and things seem less strange.
3. Truthfully, any day with my husband. He was the best man I ever met.
4. Always listen to the other person.  You'll learn something.  Try to sit back, because you will learn a lot more listening to others than telling them what you know


ahahhah you bastard, now i can't say it :)


it's ok, he checks out


As a person who has gone through a load of shit in his childhood (mostly my parents who had to go through it, as I don't remember it) all due to a vaccine, I'm not sure why people think all vaccines are the same for everyone.


I can see who's player 1 in this relationship.


Please don't promote your own site. It's against reddiquette


It has a [cure](http://i.imgur.com/pyZeR.gif) even though it is a fake.


What does this have to do with eagles' eyes?


Your bitch sounds like a very unhappy person.


Well why don't they just fucking say that?


Sounds like a TMNT song

Dildos in the dish rack
Penis power


It is not OP's dog, so you are offering condolences to the wrong person.

OP is posting Kevin Smith's photo to reap karma off his sadness.


Yet, Strangely enough I would read the whole thing.


He said poppy butthole!!!!! Ha ha ha ( said in a bevis voice)


You are an utter dick. I love it.


I agree, but somehow it works.  source: this post


“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."
— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)

"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
— Churchill's response”


How dare I express my opinion eh? It should be illegal for people to be rude according to you I'm guessing?

Spare me the white knight faggotry. Being a forum crusader is never going to get you laid, sorry. What's the plan? Take the girl back to your place and show her your reddit user profile and your karma score? Yeah that's definitely gonna get that bitch wet.

LOL.


Beer me that link, bro.


That's your argument? That i would call it racist? Perhaps look at my comment history, there are plenty of times i disagree with my race. I could be accused of self-hating according to some things I've said.


A seemingly inexplicable occurrence. Filed by the insurance company under 'Act of God'


F

I regret nothing


That's...uh...great and all, but what's your dream job?


Foreign fans like you give the club a bad name, you don't even know what banter is


I tried this too, but after a couple days I just moved my bed over there.


Well yeah if he's not on a good chance a slight breeze will take him down. Not knocking it because almost every small quick player does it. Just making a little joke about it


Occasionally when my SO is on the computer, I'll just wander up to her flop it out and lay it on her shoulder/arm.

After a few times of me doing this she asked wtf I do that because it obviously doesn't turn her on.

It doesn't turn me on either, I'm just bored and it amuses me slightly.

Maybe your SO is just bored because you've been napping.


Came here to say this


As a current employee of blockbuster, I need to get off reddit and start looking for another job.

Edit: Fixed of to off - now you know why I work at a fucking blockbuster.


More annoying than I expected


So they drank a maximum of 3 glasses per day? Maybe 2 glasses of coke and 1 glass of water? I'd hate to be their kindney.


LmAo WaLl TeXt Of DeAth iiiiiiiiii DiiiiiiiiiDn'T ReAd

+iiiiiiiiiT's NoT FuNnY !!!!

**NiiiiiiiiiiiiiCe ! TrY!**


I will always be known for Dwight and I'm fine with that.  I'm so fucking grateful for the role!  I have always been an actor and i'll just keep acting and people will see my range BUT they'll still say "hey, there's Dwight from The Office!"


What. The. Fuck. I would have never guessed! I am so shocked and just..wow. Google is ran by Chrome? No shit, huh.

EDIT: BETWEEN ZERO AND NO REGRETS


/r/lifewithigor

EDIT: Now in the hands of /u/DisgruntledPlebian. Sit back and wait for the fun.


You fail. That comment sucked.


you speak retard fluently


> Do they know all humans carry the virus?

There is no virus. Dead bodies come back to life just because, there's no reason for it.

Edit: downvote all you want, I'm still right. There is no virus and if you cling to such a notion you're only robbing yourself.


I came to say this.  They also hit their prime around the same time.  Cool to see those lives running in parallel


What are we supposed to feel bad for video game characters now too lol? First vegtarianism, then everyone tell you to go green, and now this? Whats next on the do-gooder agenda? Here is a thought: VIDEO GAMES AREN'T REAL. There is no reason to show compassion for video game characters.


Ah, so the GF is a tubbie, eh? Too bad (unless you're into that sort of thing.)


I personally like to reverse it to make it even more ridiculous. Autism is causing global warming.

**Edit:** I get it, people. Vaccines cause global warming.


i would like for you children to actually do your own research before listening to Twitch chat sometime.


Never fight with an Apache


Regarding the girl on the left, I would empty my balls onto her beautiful freckled face.


Is mayonaise an instrument?


Yup em impressed with her caring nature


I bet her asshole don't stank too badly, either


I think that homosexuals deserve the same equal rights as the hetero-privileged.


:)

:0

:DDDDDDDD

:l


Aww, whatta a sensitive faggot! I LOL'd at this shit hardcore!


From what I've read, potatoes are the one solid food that a person can get all their nutritional requirements from. They may not be happy with that 89th consecutive meal of potatoes at the end of the month, but they won't be malnourished.


I did it for the lulz ya sissy. Go cry to someone else.


A few times! I've had my wig fall off in public twice, but it's something you just laugh off and move on with


If you mean that r/atheism is different than true atheism, than, yes, you are right.


Black magenta cyan and yellow magic


Posted it 22 days [ago here](http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/fzwut/my_reddit_gives_me_negative_comments_o/) . Look at image.

I know why.  Karma me.

[image](http://img855.imageshack.us/img855/2013/image2zt.jpg)


Arrr, this be pleasin' to my eye


Yeah, but being "blunt" or "opinionated" is not the same as having an opinion. So go ahead: if "blunt" is all that matters for you to enjoy a comment, even if it's a groundless opinion, enjoy yourself!


but then i took an arrow to the knee!


The police is fucking the police.


I'm downvoting you because you said "welp".


It was wise to cut off the part where it comes out with a mouse.


Don't get too excited, bud.


"How are you two doing that?"

"First we establish a base camp at 15,000 feet..."


The funny thing is, they don't *at all*, yet you get 30 down votes (so far) for saying so. I hate Reddit sometimes.


He said he wore a padlock on a chain as a necklace.


I feel sorry for you if in your world "Butthead Astronomer" constitutes a good sense of humor.


Last time I counted there was just one. But I haven't checked in a while and I'm not very good at counting.


**LOOK, THE GUY PROBABLY JUST COULDN'T TAKE LIFE.  DON'T JUDGE HIM JUST BECAUSE HE SHOT HIMSELF!  WHAT ARE YOU, SOME LITTLE CHRISTIANIST FREAK THAT THINKS SUICIDE IS BAADD?  AETHEISM ROCKS DUDES!!!!!!**


It's the part that isn't black when you look up at night time.


L3nat Allah Alake. Kafr Kelb!. Insh'Allah enta mabsuit fe Jahanam Pig!


And $8000 a month working from home ONLINE!


Are you fucking blind? They're clearly bigger.


By everybody's rent, he meant every stripper in the club is going to pay their rent with the money he's going to spend there.

Source: I have a friend (also black, funny coincidence) who said the same thing after he got some small inheritance.


What kind of stupid fucking comment is that? You just made an assumption about his comment, and then criticised him based on your made-up assumption.

*I'd love to hear your fucking dumb-fuck argument instead of a downvote.


I'm surprised they didn't give you a key and ask you to lock up so they could all go home. Imagine them in the staff room "Jesus fuck we have to stay here till 2am because some loner wants to watch The Hobbit?!"


I knocked this out in about a half hour. (And I hate to take credit because I know there's no way of proving that, but apparently, I'm pretty good at these.)


I don't need anything else from this AMA. I couldn't ask for more.

[http://i.imgur.com/Fa1S0nQt.gif](http://i.imgur.com/LnS5NfQ.gif)


Nobody cares, Apostolate.


Really? At one point in your life you said "You know what would be fun? Getting shit on" and you were then *surprised* when it turned out to be bad?

People are weird


Or instead of being a huge fucking nerd you could just get a mac.


Eh,  i don't really care.


LOl so what would you be whining about 100 years ago . Oh yeah you wouldnt as Nature would have taken its course


Sir, I just saw your post on Reddit. I thought I told you to turn off your fucking phone?!


HAHAH SKINNY FAT AVERAGE SIZE HRUR DURRR AHHAAHHHH


Cody cannot age past 14


That just flags it for the moderators.

We don't explicitly have a rule against this sort of thing, but I don't like it either...


Well, this makes R.Kelly pissing on an underage girl seem almost romantic.


Probably? Wouldn't you know if it was or wasn't?


I believe someone pointed this out to Steven Spielberg while filming, and he responded with "so what?"


You are just a failed troll.


TIL that I have the exact same measurements as Marilyn Monroe. But I'm 4 inches taller.

Edit: my inbox has never been so sad that I've mentioned something. Oops!

Edit 2: I am married, to an awesome guy who's very well endowed. You can stop sending me pics of your sad little weiners now mmmmkay? Thanks.


Nope.  It's me.  And having haters hate on me is the norm.  I don't get why you would rather hate on me than go do something else.  Just fuck off.  You are a fucker - so fuck off.

If you hate me, I don't get why you would spend one second having anything to do with any of my stuff - unless you just need hate fuel.


"See the puck? See the puck? Get the puck! Get it! Get that puck!"


apparently you dont watch south park, do yourself a favor, and go kill youself, tyvm


And the coolest boss award goes to...


DA NEEL ARMSTRONG IS DYED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAPPY CAWSE NOW I GET TO PWAY WIT ALL HIS TOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #BETA4LYFE


Great point I really likegofuckyourselffaggot


Not as awkward as when someone asks you to install a rape window.


Only if you admit that you're a kid and your opinion is highly influenced by your going through puberty.


SEX NIGGER CUNT FUCK SHIT BITCH ASSHOLE TOWEL

-NSFW


Because my sense of humor is skewed? Also thumbnail. I thought it was funny and fitting tho, SO fuck you and the other two and the lame horse they beat off on. Have a nice day :)


Paging Shitty_Watercolour


gtfo bostonfag. the rest of the world avoids the word wicked you guys just suck at catching up


I've literally never had an argument with a boyfriend about this "issue." Why is it so polarizing? It's a mother fucking toilet. Sometimes you have to adjust the seat position to fit your needs. Sometimes you don't. Either way it's not that hard, and definitely not a big enough deal to get all pissy over it.

Edit: pun intended.


Oh my shitbox at least comes with prestige. A BMW 335i. So yeah, a couple leagues above your poor mans car.


I was so fucking relieved to read your username.


No, you just can't handle a light hearted chirp. The Stanley cup thing seems to be a real sensitive issue with cap fans.


What it looked like when cooking/eating: (sorry for crappy quality)

http://i.imgur.com/LptRQzh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/mDaNuKG.jpg

Dutch Courage:

http://i.imgur.com/Ns2qLpt.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/IusnNR2.jpg

EDIT: couple more- http://i.imgur.com/Bc7grAe.jpg    http://i.imgur.com/jimESFT.jpg


If I knew how to make it a self post I would have.


Like fresh baked chocolate chip cookies.


Ooooh, a downvote and a scolding. I feel special.


We didn't hoard the cans but my family drank soda like that.  Now I'm in my 30s and wish I hadn't.

I guess I can fix it with my kids.


came here to say this


>claim my brother enjoys his daily seizures and he should be taken off his meds

Holy fuck.


>Trans-people are abnormal

**&#3232;\_&#3232;**


Someday people will look back on this and think, "holy shit, they did that?!"


I see what you did there


I presume this guy looks like Rowan Atkinson


This is bullshit. OP is a typical nigger who breaks the law and thinks he can sue his way out of it. Fuck you Eva. Fucking cunt.


Thanks, but ya, no..... Training was never my strength....  I prefer them to last longer than 12 seconds and actually know where the clitoris is located and what to do with it....


Don't nobody got time for dat.


Upvote for "tongues or Korean"


Fake rap, listen to m.o.p if you want realness, kebdrick lamar is not hip hop, its mtv pop music for 16 year old kids


So awkward...

My condolences.


I was but folks in here are too upset to reason. I wasn't trying to Buzzfeed up the title


Sometimes I get so hot while pooping that anything touching my skin becomes unpleasant and so I GRAAAAAAAAHHHHH and take off my clothes and then create a swamp in my toilet.

edit: Why did this get so many upvotes.

edi(c)t: GRAAAAAAHHHHH

Guys, I don't know about this. It all happened so quickly overnight.


Mind explaining how culture is racist?


>wrong way

right way


Or the audience you're pitching to is retarded.


Start with normal names, but then escalate it to names like Simon, Thaddeus, Eugene, etc

EDIT: I don't think any of these are bad names, just examples of names that aren't his.  Also, Klevin and Bort are hilarious.


Your use of "as a girl" makes it sound like you are reminiscing about your days as a child bride. You're a woman.


And women like the look of our asses in boxer briefs.

Edit: And so do men. I didn't forget you guys :)


Fucking baby killer and tax payer leach.


It's pretty standard to not leave a tip when the service is shitty.


Mate, he's not that great. I don't need the patience of Saint Francis to decide that.


Why would she tear up, she's doing literally the same exact thing he is.

Crazy sucks a mean dick, try it but don't buy it.


Yes she did. There was nothing sexist about that question.


I'm just imagining her feeding him for 20 minutes then all of the sudden he pauses it, stands up, and goes to use the bathroom.


You are saying you think they are heroes.


Wow. During rough sex, he likely thought they were role playing.


Can you play a violin while riding a skateboard?

EDIT: Okay reddit, let's make this happen.


"all I saw was mass amounts of dust in the air and people running all over the place panicked"

rofl, do they not know how to build actual roads? walking around in dirt and sand.


Probably just Geocache that contains a pair of used socks or something


shit, and here was i thinking they had just won the euros under 19's. fuck me


You don't know how tough it was after Hobbes left, man :(


Why is it sexist if it's mostly true?  Is it racist for walmart to put protective packaging only on black hair care products because they are most stolen?   I know quite a few women that drive nice cars and a small percent earned it themselves.


For your convenience, here is a color version: http://i.imgur.com/SjXmf.jpg


I try to find humor in every situation.  I'm not trying to a douchebag atheist, I just think small parts of that story are slightly funny.  If a guy gets shot just standing around, that's not funny at all.  However, if a guy gets shot and he's doing something, instant funny.  If people were shot in a bathroom I'd probably be comment about how they were "scared shitless."


Why don't people tell jokes about the Jonestown Massacre?

The punchline is too long.


Too late, we already fed SoE and now DBG.


Your advice is solid, by the way.  I didn't want you to think I was skipping over it just to drink beer.  I was headed out of the door to get to my office by 9:30 and just had time to type a quick response.  I think you're right to question marriage.  Good for you, not getting married young and f**king up your 20's like many of us.  ;-)


Splayed across the ground from walking? Oh RLY? Woman police officer?  Oh RLY?  Indignant Reddit rage?  Oh RLY?


How do you get the backwards b?


cissies aren't innocent


Chad from Finance, who suggested the budget for this project be unlimited, suddenly shifts uncomfortably in his chair.


No, that dude was definitely dead at the end.


This is a pretty good summary of the middle class in America.


If you're trying to get stupid yeah.

T-breaks are for bitches who want trees to be a party drug.


Just make sure the "atheists" box is always full.


No, fuck you for being the type of idiot that supports this karma-whoring nonsense.


Perfect for when you don't want to use Skype anymore.


on r/trees? you don't say... 90% like it at the moment, if you don't, breath in, breath out, down-vote, move on, thanks.


And switching lanes without a goddamn signal


GTFO my internet you underage faggot. go play your stupid minecraft.
EDIT: Down votes? really reddit?


Wow, that really sucks. It's a doggone shame.


Well, she's a mildly attractive teenager, you can't really expect much else.


STOP BEING RATIONAL AND SUGGEST SOMETHING WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE


Stayed relevant? Not turned into the laughing stock of the league?

I would MUCH rather squander the opportunity rather than never have the opportunity.


and another furry with a pee fetish was born


Dammit, you're annoying.


Of all the famous people who have been on reddit... I see you post the most.  My turn for my StarWars fan thank you.  I cannot count the times I have watched the movies.  I have three young kids now.. and I watch them on a regular basis with them.  Look dad its Chewy!  Look dad its the Princess!  Oh Noes *Dark*(as they call him) Vader.  Thank you Mr Mayhew!


I'm pretty sure you're the one that's being pretentious.  Also, you're a faggot.


Has she had an eye exam? I had a cousin that we thought just had terrible motor control as an infant, turned out she had strabismus which screwed with her depth perception- she ended up needing surgery and some pretty intense eye therapy.


Damn bitch stole the dog's fame.


Meh, I just make a separate account for them and take admin rights away so they can't install jack shit. Annoys the fuck out of my parents, but I've reduced "computer problems" by like 80% (the other 20% is always the fucking printer.)


I c whut you did thar.


Here's the scene! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0CfwHctSHw


I Am Woody Harrelson.


No, that just makes me feel like even more of a dick.


It would just be a simple, "Come on, not here."  I had one guy who was fucking his wife in the bathroom.  He said, "I'm almost done, man."  Then he finished.  True story.


Most animals don't have feelings, we simply interpret what they do as "feelings". That said, your fact has nothing to do with why people torture animals, you have a chip on your shoulder. Good day.


Sorry to be insensitive, but losing your virginity to the diving board is pretty fucking rad


upboat!

edit: why do I get downvotes?! I was supporting AreYouReadyToReddit wtf.


is it for love or citizenship?


whats better than winning paralympic gold?

not being retarded


I've left it, after it sled off the front of the car i drove over it. I couldn't go and get it in the traffic.
Thank god it was an iPad from work, just wish I wasn't self-employed :D

He's dead now. 2011 - 2015.


What privacy?  You're in their building, they had a camera.  What's the problem here?  They're a private company and they can do what they want on their own premises.  You're not a laweyer, so I'd avise you to shut the hell up.  I'm sick of you fucking liberals trying to tell PRIVATE COMPANIES what they can and can't do.


This was more WTF than the original post.


Why did Julia Roberts rub poo on her vagina?


Yes.  A sample return is possible, but it requires intense concentration.  We will do it eventually, but we need to work our way up to it.


You really think so?  Its all education and not much else.


don't know if typo for yes or abbreviation for years


Yeah, probably.  It just burns me a bit when people complain about features not working when the game is still in beta.


The same thing happened to me in first grade, teachers told me my first name, and I didn't believe them, after school I asked my dad about it and I was still convinced that they assigned me a second name!


Why was this comment even necessary?


Twist: your wife is pregnant with her brother's baby. Two wrongs make a right and all that.


No, it fucking doesn't.


I was 9 on new years Y2K. I was at a friend's house with his whole family. We all counted down loudly with the ball dropping. 5...4...3...2...1....Power goes out. Everyone freaks out for about five minutes until we figure out my friend's dad shut off the breaker.


Someone either hasn't gotten laid in a while or is taking anabolic steroids.


ya, poo comes out of there. read a blog


*fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap*


Moldy Joe's Trashcan Pizza – *Out of the garbage and into your mouth!*™
"We're up to our elbows in quality sauce!"


if by unique you mean idiotic, then yes, I agree.


>ambisextrous

Totally using this


Coincidence? Seriously none of the smart guys in NASA noticed that the landing will correspond with Hiroshima? I think not and I think it's very disrespectful.


Time is also a huge separator.

There could've been entire civilizations that have conquered galactic travel and died out before we even existed.

And there could be other civilizations out there that will come around long after we've gone extinct.


spoken like a true plastic


lol im actually studying about this right now


Maybe, but what about Tom Cruise?


Di Stefano, Gento, Ronaldo, Raul, Casillas, Puskas, Zidane >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> sanchez


Then why do you keep giving my mail to all those other houses?


Hahahahahahahah!!!  Never been accused of that, m'friend.


Upvotes for calling the lunar lander a plane.


Because the EL is comparable to the CL...


I made your comment into an audio story.

http://soundcloud.com/time_to_narrate/alpharedditor-and-the-paper


You are the only one to survive.


"I'll just have one this weekend"

"I'll just have one every weekend"

"I'll just have these few every other day"

"I don't need this tv anymore"

etc.

Happens fast.  Feels amazing.  Not really a joke.


Apostolate would never post here...


Can confirm as fellow baldy. Also heads point at light sources.


Le reddit will le totes love le awesome story of le camping trip! LE KARMA SCORE! LELELELELELELELELELELELE

EDIT: le downboats? :(((


His brain killed his brain.


hey, i'm not saying that i wouldn't use it in a pinch. i'm just responding to his concern as to what "the right stuff" is. chances are ladies that he is the most concerned about getting the right stuff for are those that are over at his place after a date. and ladies on dates wear THONGS.


At 160+ years old, today he's sticks to ripping up faulty seams at the retirement home.


There's  nothing subliminal about this.

Barack Obama is an enemy of the United States and its citizens. Santorum is saying this.

Outright.

Because he believes that.

[And not without solid evidence.](http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/03/26/open-mic-catches-obama-asking-russian-president-for-space-on-missile-defense/?hpt=hp_t3)


nah, he's channeling the kinetic energy back through his body to his hand


So are you!

/deploys anti-downvote immunity shield

edit: maybe I can use reverse psychology...

/deploys anti-upvote immunity shield

edit2: WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME??


Thought she was going to start Breast Feeding him.


god you're a fucking faggot


not if you have seen the porn i have.


What does safe to safe mean


That's where the 's' from 'maths' went.


I wreck most people with only 1.


...and is now a US Senator.


I bet it was that fat fuck notch, trying to get in the spotlight again


Day 23: they still think i am milk.


Woah there, back? This is like his first game back at MVP form against a poor defensive team. Let's see how this plays out.


Renaming your granddaughter at the age of 12 is a bit weird but giving her a guys name is a whole different level.


> Why is it okay for you to decide what is and isn't okay for her to do at home?

I'm not dictating morality. God is, as revealed through his Word.


If your daughter stops dating her boyfriend because you like him, she was dating him for a bad reason.


Women kind of *are* the gatekeepers of sex, and men often *can't* control themselves.

All the political correctness in the world won't change how things naturally occur.


*Palms

**Edit:** Thanks for the gold, I think that /u/Spart33 deserves it more than me though. He's the one who found a masturbatory quote in the bible, I just made a bad pun!


That's overly sentimental I would think. There is no peace after life, just nothingness.


Win or lose, I'll be thanking everybody who is working so hard - especially all the volunteers in field offices all across the country, and the amazing young people in our campaign offices.


A coffee barista performs a service for a fee. When I go to Starbucks I don't get a side of penis with my coffee. Did she cry?


Haha was almost convinced it was about me, but youtube is blocked here, HAHA NOBODY KNOWS


If he was a real man his GF wouldn't need a vibrator. Isn't that right needle dick? You should start an AMA about not being able to satisfy your woman.


i think this is a surprisingly accurate description


I do agree that it helped to raise money. My point was how many of the people that dumped water on themselves actually cared an how many just wanted to be in on the new topic of the day?


New to Reddit and still knows that #10 would be a really bad idea.


I used to count from 0, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Like the ones where the x is so small at the very corner of the screen so that no matter   how you click it it goes to the store. Yea fuck those things.


What is this, the gestapo? Cry more, kid.


I could hide it in my pants.  No one would suspect a thing.


I can't fucking ignore your god damn post because it's in self, and not some easily ignorable subreddit like /r/obituary or /r/FUCK OFF I DONT CARE JUST QUIT POSTING IT. NOBODY GIVES A FUCK THAT YOUR UNCLE DIED AND IF THEY SAY THEY DO THEN THEY'RE A GOD DAMN LYING SHITBAG.


I at least wait until I have devoured the food before feeling bad.


Sorry but did you watch that game?


My house has a lot of tile.

The cat runs TO the carpet when she has to vomit.


Jesus christ. Every fucking comment on this site has to mention Kanye in some way. You know, for people who claim to hate him so much you sure think about him a lot.


That mom sounds like a weirdo.


What memories?

Oh yeah, him single handily losing us a superbowl. Thank, wes.

Edit: [Thanks for downvoting me even though a large percentage of Pats fans feel this way](http://www.reddit.com/r/Patriots/comments/2ujop0/julian_edelman_has_surpassed_wes_welker/co8zx1d)


Women don't want that much equality


You linked to my post where I explain my reasoning and you still think I did it for karma? Are you fucking retarded?


He thinks he tells jokes.


Experienced at what? Selling clothes in a mall?

From what it sounds like, the company failed. What should the company that owns Wet Seal do for these employees?


Try the quesadillas with buffalo


look at it this way: "If you have a key that opens any lock, it's a master key. If you have a lock that is opened by any key, it's a shitty lock"

for reference:

*key*==cock

*lock*==vagina


SHES READING HIM THE DIRECTIONS FUCKFACE!


Please don't use that word.


"Because we're Delta Airlines, and life is a fucking nightmare!"


Obvious troll is obvious.  Everyone please downvote robynlawley, let's keep the trolls out of r/politics.

Anyway, this revelation is going to be the final nail in the Obummer campaign's coffin, mark my words.  Obummer is already reeling from that ASS-KICKING Mitt gave him in the debate the other night.  Now this?  Stick a fork in him, he's done!


I believe in science.


It's Chuck Testa. (too lazy to photoshop a new pic)


You're getting relegated


FUUUKA ME?

NO

FFUUKKAA YOU


then why does it shoot up as soon as the price goes up? that contract story is fucking bullshit


Why are you so sad to care about what he said? Nosey guy, I hate in when losers feel the need to find out what someone said before they deleted their comment. Think of all the other things you could be doing with your time.


I'll do it for free big boy ;) xoxo


2creepy4women. Wait, every single male gesture of kindness is creepy to them so that's not saying much now, is it?


Holy shit that's a good idea. I'll ask. He's super lazy though. He'd probably rather sit around crushing people at Scramble with Friends and eating Chobani strawberry yogurt.


Downvote if you love jackin it with a couple bros!


Yeah, they're getting a loud *Excuse me* from me from behind and if they don't notice I'll just pass between the two weakest links in the wall!


DAE le better in le past?


I know a woman with a 10 year old.  She's told the 10 year old she has a dimple that appears when she's lying.  Now when the child lies, she covers her cheek so you don't know. :)


Nah. I stay clean and will be always clean, always have been.


"I'm a writher, I'm funyuns, and I think you're a gargoyle" *vomits on shoulder*


But what of the anti-downvote brigade code?


Was it presumed she dunked it or some shit? Like yeah the acting was bad but how did she make that? She just fell and didn't even shoot it. Plus she fouled the guy. And what game is only to 1? Just take a quick jump shot and the game is over; quit that weird soft core porn in front of children.


That wasn't even moot.


I think that's actually really sweet! He was trying to make you feel safe.


Don't worry, it's just as real as Jesus.


This is my boyfriend's secret weapon too. Sometimes he is extra diabolical and he will flex his boner. No straight female can resist a throbbing dick between her legs.


Sure he's a photographer. He's just a shitty photographer.

Back in art school, my photography professor used to always say, "A bad photographer needs great equipment. But a great photographer could take great photographs with bad equipment."

In other words, there are no shitty cameras, only shitty photographers.


A thousand dollars in a suitcase left in a politician's office is bribery, a felony. Ten thousand dollars as a "campaign donation" is "protected free speech".


It's very likely that people didn't read your post, so everyone is just assuming that downvoting comments will help in some way, the fools.

EDIT: Looks like someone ruined the party. Still, good times, everyone!


So is Renee, she added an extra "y" in her "Hey".

Hey= go away

Heyy= let's fuck


My bad. I thought this was /r/FuckDaPolice lol


I lived in a trailer park next to a Chuck E Cheese and before they got the shredders, they just threw out the old tickets in trash bags. I'd wait until the shift changed the next day and split the tickets with my friends. Great system.


Yeah he's mostly obnoxious and uses the same 3 voices over and over.

Also I dislike how his cartoon pictures of himself he's all skinny....yet in real life....

Same with total biscuit...I actually got banned from posting on his videos because I informed him he's much too skinny in his cartoon picture when he first appeared on camera.


I dunno, is he Terry Crews enough?


I'm sorry your body has failed you BUT even with [100% vaccination rate](http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00000359.htm), it can't guarantee your safety.


It could still be her.

She talks out of her ass on a lot of topics.
***
***
^^SHUT ^^BOTH ^^YOUR ^^PI ^^HOLES, ^^NANCY.


Shit, the hehe comment proves this is a fake AMA.  Real people don't post like that.


That statement made me wet. Hot, Dirty, and clever.

EDIT: Added this to my tumblr. Good show, sir.


It was a new one he had just gotten. So, yes, it was clean. lol


She was probably high as fuck.


That's probably the only box you will ever be cumming in.


In a word: No. This all started because I said "I work in social media." Notably, so do the admins who program this site. I actually spend most of my time at work tracking down people who are spamming sites like Reddit and getting them to stop.


For the lazy...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQhLLCUgFIg


And how exactly are they poorly executed?


*The wizard appears briefly. 'Be careful what you wish for,' he says before vanishing.*


she said that, so, sorry i didn't directly quote. go look for it your fucking self.

I'M A MENTAL HEALTH PATIENT. my SHRINK, which, by the way, i'm quoting OP's use of the word, calls herself that. what do you people want from me? an apology? you're not getting one.


Hank discovers Walt is Heisenberg. Cue [this](http://i.imgur.com/xBAhs.jpg) screen.


Excuse you, but who said "discovered" besides you?


As someone from Wisconsin I can only agree.


dude she has a wiener in that pic i mean come on

Edit: like thats not even anatomically correct


"Worked at Starbucks, Wal-mart, Finalized legal documentation for 500mil+ acquisition deal for GE, Taco Bell, and fixed an error on Barack Obamas spelling."


So wish I could up vote this more than once lol


Well, she was making these decisions about what to do with her body on her own, so...


YER ERP, YERKNER U KNER... FER SCERNC.


So I guess he's on a gluten/free diet eh?


*Meanwhile, at the International Burnmosity Measuring Center in Hawaii:*

    Worker: "Man, what a boring day, barely a 'Your mother' since lun-"
    BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP
    Worker: "HOLY SHIT THIS ONE IS MEASURING 7.8 COLBERTS."
    Manager: "... Get me the president."


And an app if you're on mobile!


For the love of god please nobody make a batman joke about the hero she deserves or the silent guardian. We've all heard it before.


your username makes me cautious of your comment.


Bush was a terrible president.


That she's a mother of five children.


Actually i have no girlfriend and this is not [](/truestory)


-1 Points! Threat eliminated.


Because they start with an N?


I'm older than your mom


So you won scare tactics.


No I'm serious, you guys are so *brave*.


Actually, I am into metal detecting but it has only netted maybe $1000 loose change and one gold ring.

I was a professional climber working for The North Face. They sponsored this trip. I also had a job in the RD&D department (I'm called Singer because I sew and build things). Afterward, we sold the story for a book and movie. Cheap countries made more sense.


HI WEDDIT!!!!!!!!!! GAGA MAMY why DADA PUT his SnakE ON My VAGINIA!!!! GOO GAH goo I wana pwuay owieee!!!!!!! WAT ID DA APETOL SCIENCE HANDHWELD POTOL DEVICE WEDDIT??????????


That's how I do bro.

Ain't no free verse allowed for

the StupidHaiku.


What does this comment have to do with starcraft?


Ah, but why settle for the portability and convenience of a calculator - or, you know, a smartphone - when you can lug around a bunch of bulky peripherals and *get noticed?*


A classic ignorant response from someone who clearly hasn't researched the issue but rather formed an easy viewpoint from information that was spoon-fed to him/her. It's easy when you're told what to think. You can just wait for death and live forever with Jebus.


I'm never reading another NSFW while eating yogurt.


LOL, I pirated the hell outta this game xDDDD.

EDIT: Dont be jelly of 9GAG you niggers, its just like reddit minus the bullshit.


>  Fuck me right?

Maybe don't say that.


looks like the rest of this subreddit also is pretty clueless about the ordering and wording of TV opening titles.  Would it kill anyone to do some research or should we all tweet our dumb questions at celebrities?


What's funny is that, according to their logic, if he was so racist wouldn't his service be terrible too? Nah, just a racist ass mother fucker who gave them great service but chose to give the check back to the white people first because, well,  *that'll show those damn niggers*.


Obviously it was an accident.


Thankyou. Your presentation outlines the facts better than any media joint, saved me so much time and bullshit. Good work


No problem, but I will have to ask you to please call me Asian, not azn. It's offensive.


Liver failure: the happy ending.


*so meta...*

*so cringe...*


You just have to believe in yourself. I am sure you can do it! :)


**HEY THEY SHOULD MAKE A GAME WHERE YOU PLAY AS GUS FRING FROM *BREAKING BAD* AND YOU CAN DO BACKFLIPS AND COLLECT PEZ DISPENSERS.**


Google Chrome says that PickThePerp.com contains malware.

**EDIT:** /u/CHIEFKEEFBANGBANG has removed the site from his list. I'm sure that he didn't know that the site had malware, and was just trying to provide a good website to people as well as answer OP's question. There is no need to let him know anymore, and no need to do any witch hunting.


>back to you blaming someone for a compulsive reaction then assuming they're rapist

I'm not reading past this sentence because I've corrected this same line of thought many times tonight and people keep repeating it. They cannot understand that while looking at breasts doesn't lead to rape, but the attitude surrounding the 'she deserved it' attitude does. So I'm not going further. Bye.


Yes, that is a popular opinion in Russia.


Absolutely lost it at that point.


I can't believe that they say karma payback when america "payback" nuked 2 cities. You would think that would make them atleast even

Edit: I dont blame america for the bombings but I think that it's fucked up to cheer about tragedy, just because of a sneakattack that got repaid by the 100 fold


So of he knew your bro wasn't under there he wouldn't have moved the drywall?! Sounds like a Walmart wife.


^Not ^^my ^^^virginity ^^^^:(


you idiot, one man cannot possibly be as bad as two nuclear bombs...


Guess you could say

( •_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

She'd rather hold her tongue


Nice attitude.

Want weed to be legal everywhere?  Show that you're a responsible user.  Until everyone's on board with that you are a hinderance to progress on the issue.


That's actually pretty damn cute :)


But has a shitty sense on how to run a country properly.


I love the inclusion of that random guy.


he made 360 no scope videos and tentical hentai


My blown mind just realized it was never actually blown.


You can't expect a gamergater and a men's rights activist to be rational or not have a misogynistic opinion about a female Thor.


Best I can do is a 2.5 dollar gold coin.


Don't consoles already have DLC?


Only available in black, sorry.


don't you think you ask for too much for now, bro? imo we should best appreciate while we have the chance.


Passive aggressiveness at its finest.


Snitch

Downvotes, eh? Well, lets see how happy you would all be if TPB was taken down because of people like this pushing copyright. Hypocrisy at its finest.


The Butterfly Effect isn't a very cerebral exploration of the concept of time travel


These tips are fucking horrible if the guy is clinically depressed.

They should get him to a therapist and have the therapist allow telling them the findings and how to help.


On the flip side of that is that every white person has a black person who is identical. Their "doppelgängster"


Oh look, an atheist who defends moderate violent barbarians! Well that makes everything different.


Dude, we won't... we like... we won't even *need* pockets maaaan


Personally I wouldn't call it subtle...I mean, it's in the focus of the image.


What if the sub got together and voted violent gay porn to the top of the day, and you had that as your phone wallpaper at a job interviewer? ***What then!?***

Edit: Great, my most recent gild is violent gay porn shenanigans. Thanks guys!


Asking her to chip in a little more while I'm having to destroy the little savings I have isn't a penalty.


Thats the kind of shit that will keep you up at night remembering.


and everyone except OP already knew this

lol what a bunch of butthurt faggots


Then you'll be entering virgin territory.


RE4 being the game that ruined the franchise?


No that's Shitty_Watercolour.


I don't think fat makes someone this stupid. Or were you sharing your fantasy?


My tour guide on that safari said "sorry about this giraffic jam" when we got stuck behind giraffes


Except welfare recipients use less drugs than the rest of society.


fourteen out of ten if you count by mass


I dont understand what the big fucking deal is. This is my opinion about how much would be enough for ME. Why you idiots choose to keep on harping on points which are completely subjective are beyond me.

And dont assume to know anything about me. I earned everything i have with 0 support from a family.


"Thanks. It'll be inside your daughter later" Assert dominance.


So TI2 will literally be league of legends? Think before you type literally, redditers.


O man, how do your arguments go?


Half the posts on this sub is a good place to start

Edit: damn you guys really don't like that a ton of things put here are entirely possible. Shhh rest your egos it is okay.


Because you never know when you're going to need to go to Russia.


Animal cruelty laws, which I'm not a fan of.


I had a teacher in second grade tell our class that "Texas is the largest state."  I proceeded to attempt to correct her by pointing out that Alaska quite a bit larger than Texas.  Her only response was: "Alaska doesn't count because it's made of ice."


I used to post gifs, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


Seems more like a joke than an assertion that he actually doubted he wrote it


Congrats, you know copy-paste.


I see your reply, and I raise you the Utah system in which you get the title and plates at one place, but have to go to a completely different place on the other side of town with different hours for driver's license and voter registration.

Edit: I've been informed of the glorious place in Draper where the two buildings are right next to each other. Hallelujah!


I am a bot that downvotes OP and "top" comment for any "cat" pic that makes the front of r/all. Enjoy going down.

Please see 9gag, digg or funny junk for REAL content.

-CATDOWNVOTERBOT


I wounder if he had a ridiculously photogenic ultrasound.


ROFL... how do you expect him to 'verify' an opinion? you take ur reddit stuff too seriously man...pathetic.


Serious question. How are you typing this right now?

EDIT: So, I don't think OP is really blind. Kinda disappointed.  However, great answers from everyone else.


Just look at him, he fucking *immediately* looks at the ref and throws his hands up.


**You have got to be kidding!!! First you steal my job, then you dare subscribe to my subreddit!**

I will get you yishan, my army is gathering and we will retake Reddit HQ back one way or another!

note: I already banned you 7 times behind 7 proxies but you seem to have a way of unbanning yourself.

（╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻


Would have been worth more karma if she died.


I'm always fascinated when straight girls confess to "desiring" other ostensibly attractive women. Makes me wonder why bah, bah no wah peecha wonchi korpa, SOLO. Ho ho hoooo.


"20 comments? MY CHANCE TO SHINE!"

nope..


Even more fun is using it as a towel rack. And then making it jump and pretending the towel is one of those [sheet ghosts.](http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/images/2009/10/ghost-sheet%5B1%5D.jpg)


Arabic and Urdu use the same script.


Is that you, 20-year-old me?  What are you doing in the year 2015?


Show your tits, slut.


...so you want a few inches of his cock?


>Pakistan

>sad

Does not compute


"WOW Nice quote I fell motivated and now I'm gonna switch the tab to PornHub"


LOOk mAn Its nOt Any Of yOUr bUsInEss. ObvIOUsLy hE wAs AshAmEd At thE nEgAtIvE kArmA, And dELEtEd It frOm fUrthEr rIdIcULE. yOU sEE nOt ALL pEOpLE ArE gIftEd wIth thE AbILIty tO bE AbLE tO cOndOnE nEgAtIvE kArmA, It trULy Is A gIft And An Art thAt mUst bE rEfInEd cOnsIstEntLy tO stAy On tOp Of yOUr gAmE


*[CHALLENGE ACCEPTED](http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/i0p20/this_ones_for_you_guys_by_popular_demand_reddit/)*

EDIT:  [old version](http://soundcloud.com/sweetneo85/friday-i-reddit)


Can you please delete this? I am not 100% sure my boyfriend doesn't read Reddit and I would REALLY hate for him to read this and know it was me. That's not the right way for him to learn about this. Thanks for considering.


You are an inspirational dude.


What is the big deal? How sad is your life that you think this is anything out of the ordinary.


Bought a hand-made wooden cooking spoon in Romania about a decade ago. Old woman who made it told me to pay about 20 cents. I gave her 5 Euros, told her to keep the rest, I don't mind paying a little more for good quality stuff. She started crying, then fucking fell on her knees before me and prayed for me. Perspective.


Dis bitch went all the way down in my profile lmao 😂😂,  #officialbitchcracka aight white folks you got that sub I'm movin out


And a towel, always bring a towel.


Fuck off. Irvin was the only guy to throw a punch.


that's what I would say also dear god... I mean in highschool I still played league. I woke up at 6 went to school slept in school till 3. sprinted home. played video games until 5 in the morning.

that video game was league of legends 3 years ago when I was a senior in high school.


no, its if you want American Aid, you will fall in line with our policies.

Its brilliant, give a crack head a little free crack and they will do whatever you say when you stop giving them crack.


Really? That's all it took me to finish.


I just got the first spontaneous nosebleed I've ever had in my life. Shut the fuck up right now before you actually send me into a psychotic rage and ruin my entire life. I can't fucking deal with you right now. Even if you're completely right, which you're fucking not, just be the bigger man and get the fuck out.


I'd watch the fuck out of that video.


HI WEDDIT I BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LE GOO GOO GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Every damn space thread...


If your straight friends know that you're homosexual then you probably mention it too much.


The people in the theater were also wondering why Borat's son was in america.


As a fan of AdBlock, I don't appreciate having to see an ad.

ed: *sigh* I have to start double checking the subreddit I am in before I decide to make a joke.


so they jumped straight to 7 *for luck* then sent up one labelled *13* anyway...?


No, this fucking idiot is devaluing his karma.  If he upvotes everybody, his upvote really isn't worth anything.

What a fucking moron.


That man is a genius! He spent all those years in the military just to gain a high enough rank to clamjam you from getting your soggy box invaded by young soldiers.


I saw them and it's still unexplainable. He is not even a CFL capable QB. Plus that dopey look on his stupid face pisses me off.


Please god no

Edit: Wow highest rated comment for a knee jerk reaction


My dollar goes to whichever side will give me more upvotes :D


WELL I HAD SEX WITH YOUR WIFE!


British National Party is not racist


Well the ISS is only about 270 miles up.


There is no such thing. And adults wearing them are exponentially more trashy, because they should know better.


Think about this then:
If you put all the numbers from 0 to ∞ in one line, and then just the even numbers in an other (2, 4, 6....∞). There would be just as many numbers in both lines - even though the latter only contains 50% of the numbers.


Redditor for 2 days. Try harder.


Excuse me, do you know where the auto parts section is?

Far out, man.  It's in the realm between time forgotten and babes lost, where myth and legend form both dream and reality.

Okay, thanks man, I'll head to Aisle seven.

Edit: thanks gold for the kind stranger!


>[0]

Over 9000!!!

Edit: Why was I downvoted? An outdated meme deserves another.

edit2 meme masters below me /rollseyes


friendly fire was off


Dude meth is not related to crack/cocaine... Learn your facts before trying to sound smart dick


It's not. That's why it's in r/funny.


I once set my neighbors cat on fire and locked it in a metal cage. That halted its "interaction" with the world pretty quickly


Charlie Chaplin once lost a Charlie Chaplin look alike contest.


Meh winning a world cup is more luck of where you are born. Look at best. Scholes was a better player than ozil and its not even close, he really was one of the best in the world in his prime

Besides I'm sure his 11 prem winners medals, 2 champs league medals and 3 fa cup medals keep him pretty happy


A lifetime supply of glitter is just one pot of glitter though, because that shit NEVER FUCKING GOES AWAY.

Edit: If you were thinking of replying to this comment with "Glitter is like the arts and crafts version of herpes" then don't, joke has been made by the 10 people before you and it wasn't funny any of those times either. Thanks.


Whoa, are you the same Sean that was in Real World Boston?


No John Candy either :(


Must've not played the best game ever.


If only we could have rational thoughts behind blind love...


Can confirm. Username checks out.


Hilary Clinton is perfectly Palpatine to the average American voter.


To all people calling this video 'troll'

It's a fucking joke not a troll learn the difference midgets


5 and college student


You have to remember, most of the users on here are americunts, so they find everything offensive.


This is so revolting I want to report it.


lol

So you're saying you were fat?


Somebody somewhere is now trying to force a goat to wear a set of suspenders


She blew another dude.


All aboard the feel train


/r/theredpill does not devalue women, or make them seem lesser than they are. Highlighting and countering double standards and manipulation by women is usually it.

Edit: I foresaw the down votes


This is Reddit, so three of them may have been cats.


I'm not sure (a) what you mean (based on the number of upvotes, it would seem many people enjoy it as I did), and (b) why you think writing this adds any value to the content of the conversation.

You think my post was a terrible post?  I think your post was a terrible post! Next time, just downvote and move on.


I always have a friend call my references pretending to be a hiring manager to see exactly what they say about me.


Get the fuck out of here. This sub wants this shit to be pro-wrestling so fucking bad. Wtf is this?


Well I can't un-masturbate it.  But yes, I will be taking my future business elsewhere.


she meant she meant that terrorists are forcing Walmart to check people buying Nyquil as part of some elaborate plot. http://halftitle.com


Of course you didn't, you have stickers all over your face!


This is why you will always be downvoted.


You're paying to escape the atmosphere, with alcohol.


Get the fuck off this subreddit then (-:

I really dislike it when people get onto particular subreddits and blatantly insult everybody.

I am using my power as a Reddit Gold user to report you to the moderators of this subreddit. Oh and also, the whiteknights are here to help me (-: **Enjoy downvote oblivion** (-:


I think it's her fault.  All she has to say is, "I shouldn't have said hell in my speech.  I am so fucking sorry."


whatever, it's still good quality.


**We?** I've never even met you!


Roose Bolton kills Robb Stark


My dad laughed so hard at that line. He has this really infectious laugh too, so pretty much everyone else in the theater started laughing too. It was awesome.


Have pants been proven to cause glaucoma?


fixed that http://i.imgur.com/MMx4eIA.gif

:D


And I thought I was going to be original :(