How do we know that you didn't google this out of an obscure part of the internet or something? Proper pic of proof should be in front of your monitor with the thread clearly visible.


Fun Fact: Facts are rarely fun.


That's just lying. It's a dude. If I dressed up as Mickey Mouse, does that make me actually Mickey Mouse? It'd find it offensive otherwise.

It sounds like the OP is kidding himself about the actual biological thing and is just ignoring it to make it 'not gay' like Mac off Always Sunny.


+1 Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference.

There aren't enough of them in my day.


What are you, kidding me? Look how freshly cut the edges of the "grave" are.


"I respect young women I can take advantage of."


Im really curious to why you give a fuck about any of this circle jerk community building bs. answer me plz


You've heard about the French tanks during WWII right? They only had one gear, reverse.


> how embarrasses

Check yourself


Lucas is a Mexican candy made of salt,  powdered flavoring, and powdered spices. It was delicious. It also came by itself so you just pour it on your hand and lick it up. i was addicted to that shit.


Fucking gold. You deserve gold.


my g/f died when she read this comment... she will be missed.


Jesus Christ shut the fuck up with this joke, its not funny and we've been beating the dead horse for awhile now


Give out caramel onions


when i start to play rat in ranked games every1 started to flame me cuz they think rat is so useless and will just feed.
and this was the only way i get out of elo hell to ignore these guys and flaming like a boss ... true story check  my elo at s1 cuz of this flamers ;)


Yup. Crazy comes in both genders.


I honestly hope you aren't a designer.


My little sister spoke in her sleep a lot too. Once she said "Noooo, I don't wanna go into the deep end! I can't swim without my floatiessss."

She then started thrashing about like she was drowning, was pretty funny.


DA NIGGARS ARE DA MISSING LINK BETWEEN DA MONKEES AND DA HUMANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


> It's all...part of the plan.


>I promised my father as I held his hand as he passed away that I would graduate from college before I turned 30. I walked on my 30th birthday.

So you didn't keep your promise.


I had to do it.

http://i.imgur.com/PzU8t9f.gif

Edit: so much love, thanks for the gold cookie.


Same could be said about your comment.


It stands for Shit Reddit Says. [/r/ShitRedditSays](/r/ShitRedditSays)


When a user is blocked their comments appear collapsed but still visible. Please learn how reddit works before you open your cluebag mouth about how reddit works. Of course you always did lack a certain attention to detail, filling in the gaps with your imagination and then justifying them by repeating your lies ala fox news. I wonder how the feds would feel about you being a drug user?


I am happy that Nick Offerman can get "tickled" at something.


Haha, she cried about the herps


It's probably near 200.


Stop. Fucking stop. We all get it, you are making a 'funny' comment about his name. But it's bored and played out. That joke takes no effort or time or originality or even humour to pull off. It has been done over 1000 times and it is the most unoriginal joke you could EVER make. So please, people. Stop.


Whateva I do what I want.


Bill had the same lost temper style when he looked into the camera and angrily said "I have not had sex with that woman, Monica Lewinsky".

He is an actor.

edit: after that tv appearance, all the dems said he must be telling the truth about Lewinsky, because nobody could lie that convincingly.

Well, he did lie that convincingly.


Mrs. White: "Nothing.  He just lies on his back all day."

Miss Scarlett:  "Sounds like hard work to me."

This went over my head for years as a kid.


My friend could really use this! I just hope my comment doesn't get flooded below!


Same with the Dark Crystal (which is a fantastic film)


forever alone, I know so cause i betcha i have the amount of times i have faped to her way over the other other people commenting, hell they can't even keep there porn stars straight


My golden plays fetch for exactly 2.5 throws.

Edit: Thank you for the gold. As a gift to everyone [here](http://i.imgur.com/tTcDt2M.jpg) is a picture of him.


>Just a shot in the dark

&#3232;\_&#3232;


What happen to not sticking it into crazy?


fuck that nigga, i hope he chokes to death on a big albanian cock


You fucked your Lego set?! THEY'RE FOR MENTAL DEVELOPMENT


doesn't matter if anything on 4chan has ever happened...  this wasn't humorous or clever... it was just stupid...

this was someone making a story up so people tell him how cool he is... this .... is a reddit post.

basically....  OP is faggot.


 It's $4. Put up or shut up.
...and now we wait


you came to /r/starcraft expecting e-sports?  unless esports = drama, pictures of X & Y, and spoilers of yesterdays tourney.

new to reddit? (jks jks of course)


Here: Have a meme
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35xw6h/


WOW way to spoil the movie!


You should become a sperm donor and create a master race.


America has better ships than that. Real grade A weapons machinery.

FUCK the Canadian peacemunchers.

**Edit:** LOL.. Canadians *actually* trying to downvote us. Americans, **unite** and show them whos the fucking BOSS! **UPVOTE**!


"Well I guess I wouldn't exactly call her a friend, more of a charity case really. What was your question again?"


Well i will show proof tomorrow,movies are worse than systems for street dates and this walmart always puts those out early and i always buy them when they do with no issue


"Now, before you say no, you should know that my quick wit inspired the creation of an entirely new community dedicated to shitty commercials."
I've got this down.


And while we're on the topic, slavery sucked, the south seceded entirely due to slavery, Lincoln was against slavery his entire political career, and sweet tea tastes like diabetes, heart disease and cancer. Waffle house only tastes good if you've got a couple extra chromosomes from your family tree not having any branches.   Fuck you southeastern United States, and fuck you Barry.


"Feennntooonnnnnnn!!"


Nice try, guy who will say anything to get laid.


You sure know your stuff. What are you, a preacher?


Nice try you fucking Democrat scum. Kill yourself, you are a making a mockery of democracy.


I would have asked her how she slept naked whilst wearing a piece of clothing.


No, I can't verify when this picture was taken. He moved to Anderlecht when he was 13 and was in the first team by 16, this was taken at a youth game. And if you're implying that he's secretly 30 or something because he's black, you're a racist.


Because it indicates he is also in need of prayer, not just you. You're no different than him, no less valuable, no more flawed, he simply thinks it will benefit you, so he'll do it with a smile and with good will.

The difference is between "I hope you learn your lesson" and "I hope that we can both live our lives as we see fit and receive the best possible ending."


What is not fair, that she got it, or that they won't use her as a lab rat by using untested drugs on her?


I thought Denial was a river in egypt?


Just because she thinks this is lame as fuck, which it is, doesn't mean she's a bitch.  Go trim your neckbeards guys nothing to see here.


Keep telling yourself that buddy, it's a place for atheists to share a common view. Not everyone believes in a god get over it.


Remember when you would be searching so frantically for the next run number to make sure that you got the spot? Shit that was more intense than the run


Wow really? I got downvoted for welcoming someone who is likely a new player to the franchise after they just learned about a command that's well known among GW2 beta and GW1 players? Da fuck?


It's due Thursday?  Why are you starting already?


Then you're an idiot.


Initially, revenge? Now, my family. I remarried and have two kids. I don't want my kids to grow up fat and miserable like I did. I want them to learn healthy habits from the start so it's natural for them and they don't have to think about it.


BITCH PLEASE. I spent at least a few hours on 4chan. Nothin disturbs me......except /r/spacedicks


He wants to gain weight, not diabetes.


That doesn't answer my question. Why are we wasting money keeping her alive? Is it ignorance, do we not realize that keeping the elderly alive is hastening our own destruction? Are we simply too afraid of letting go, afraid that we might have to face mortality?

Or did you think I was trolling?


I'm imagining a cat reversing for miles through the desert with an octopus on its face


more uptokes for this guy^


I looked at my royaume, I was finally there

To sit on my trône as le Dauphin de Bel-Air


Pretty sure that's common knowledge for anyone who made it past the 4th grade.


Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag?


Whatever man, you're just A Fucking Moron.


I don't even care if you're right or not. I upvoted you because of 331 vigesimoctavillion.


I think Poland ( As a country) needs to sit down and have a long thought about how they can exist.

Seriously, Poland claims that Red Army never liberated Aushwitz but Ukrainians did.

Now, This? This is really retarded and makes me wonder just how stupid people can be.


Are you a FIFA referee?


Ah teh lolz they came and alit what would have otherwise been a bleak day


"Thuck you"

"No, Kevin, it's a 'Fuh' sound. Fuck you. F like in 'failure' and your 'future'. F. Fuck you."


Everyone that isn't shit has been doing this for months.


That's the dumbest thing I've read all day. Maybe all week.


Who does that?

Edit: I get what you're saying about his comment, but how is he supposed to know they're joking.


Last knot he'll ever tie.


I hope that never happens, because for that to happen would mean the world would have to forget what Himmler did.

Just change your damn name.


And there the shit remains to this very day.


Cool!  Can we open up a private clinic to perform knee replacements?  I ask because it seems rather hypocritical to support private abortion clinics in the name of access and then demand a 100% public system for every other medical need.


oh, I thought they'd already knocked it over...


NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!

;)

edit: Aww c'mon guys, it was a joke nerd!  hence the ;)!  Poopers :D


It sounds to me like he's gay.  He is non-commital and physically cold with her.  She breaks up with him, no problem, except now he has to scramble for a new beard.  Then when his mom asks him about her, he cooks up a scandal and sheds a few crocodile tears.

His behavior and this fallout just reeks of a snowballing lie covering for an even bigger one.


Oh god. Lol. Dictatorship. Welcome to hyperbole ville.


Don't short change the poor guy.


Sorry, I must apologize. Just reacting to fans of clubs who haven't been relevant for the past 10 years. I've started watching soccer in 2005. After all I'm a redditor.


I heard the story on NPR and they interviewed the kid. He only got weed for the narc because he wanted to date her. He didn't even want to take the money but she insisted that he take it until he accepted. And she was *completely* fine with it like she was just doing her job and these 'kids' need to learn you can't deal drugs.


WATCH me get downvoted


So she's only active in a political youth group?  That isn't the same as being  politician.


I'm just gonna leave a comment here without a period.

Edit for grammar.

Edit again: I'm a straight up jerk. But whatever. Fifty-two people noticed me and now I feel like a villain. Hate me all you want. I will still do what I do.


The experience was extraordinary at the National University of Ireland. Unfortunately, I was able to only complete one semester but I happily accepted the honorary degree (which I still brag about).


Lol...thanks. It was worth it.


And always check the class average before you panic, and wait for the curve. I got a 23/100 on my Calc II exam once. The class average was a 10/100. My 23% became an A.


He was poisoned by his wife.


I will definitely mess with a salesman next time they use this.

F= No family, they died.

O= I blow people for meth then sell it at inflated prices.

R= Finding clients on Craigslist

D= One time I dreamt of blowing JFK and he rewarded me with the biggest crack rock I've ever seen.

That should make the transaction uncomfortable.


Someone call this guy a Waaaaambulance. He's butthurt.


Some days I long for the anonymity a large city brings. Social experiments are life's free games.


"who go"

"go"

WENT.

GRAMMAR MOTHERFUCKER, CAN YOU USE IT?


I did that. A friend of mine found one I wrote about a girl sliding eggs in and out of her vagina. He kept it. For science. I was 12.

I currently write horror novels.


LmAo NoBoDy GiiiiiiiiiiiVeS a SHiiiiiiiiT YoU ChuBbY FuCK !


That is a very gripping story.


>quickmeme.com

Downvoted without clicking


that's so unusual for them


Hahahah!!!!
Feckin Epic!


Please watch your language, Ms. Coulter.


These are extremely spoilerish. You just ran through the entire series through episode titles.


Is this being posted from a jail cell in Italy?

Too soon?


How are you poor with engineering degree? You make minimum of 50k

EDIT: OP's graph is talking about post-graduation. Above redditor's argument is invalid because he is still in school.


Come to think of it... My mother *did* take naked pics of me when I was a newborn baby.


Suddenly, a wild White Knight appears!


The positive takeaway: you're completely selfless, a dedicated son and a fantastic human being. She didn't deserve you, bro.


No doubt you get off on violence; your username suggests that your a St Louis cop. I bet you laugh when unarmed teens get shot in the face for jaywalking too.

YOu make me sick.

EDIT: just goofin' guys. Thanks for the feedback. This was a prank/ social experiment.


Getting into into the ocean is one tricky part.  I think some folks have done some experiments with ROV's that melt their way down through ice, but we've got some work to do.  Jupiter also has a pretty challenging radiation environment and we'll have to come up with some way to relay information from the Earth to the ROV. None of these issues seems to be insurmountable. smc


I hope your dad recovers and is back to normal quickly.

Now for the joke portion of my comment:

That tumor is your father's allegiance to the Patriots.


On further consideration, I suppose that doesn't rule out the likelihood that it wasn't coming from a place of flirtation but rather she just enjoyed the idea of fucking with my head


Ahh... the old [reddit switch-a-roo.](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/zqq2m/i_got_drunk_and_decided_to_do_some_shopping_this/c66wlut?context=1)


It's probably prudent to re-evaluate your ultimate zombie fortress options once a year or so.


"Oh, only one comment on this video. Great, I'll be the first to make my uniquely witty comment..." *clicks link* God dammit.


"Oh, he's STILL here?"


I used to be creepy, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I thought you said no coaching or translating, dad.


its not like we issued robes or something...there was a vote, for the betterment of the sub.


And hair ties.  You don't need to buy more, you just need to not leave them everywhere.


I had a friend who's wife left him for another woman.  Everyone in our group of friends always gave him shit, saying how he turned his wife gay.  We all thought it was funny but I don't think he thought it was.

Personally I would get them to come over and get it on right in front of me, but thats just me.


Good guy owner knows how to run a business


Yeah you bleeding heart HYPOCRITES make me fucking SICK.

There are fucking TONS of cats that die each day from the shit we pump into the environment, but you cunts don't get all bent outta shape about them.

Then there are the 3rd world SLAVES that make your fucking underwear and your fucking ipods and computer keyboards....

Ohhhh but you got justice for a kitten.

FUCK YOU ALL.


If you die, I'll be fucking pissed at you.


Would you want people gawking over his burnt, crusty remains? Space travel is dangerous. We know that going in.

This post, and photograph, is offensive to his family members.


Children of Men has several long shots, I highly recommend it.


Except by being a Muslim you are choosing to be a part of a group that advocates violence against non believers and advocates child rape.  It is no different that being part of the KKK, regardless of whether you personally are engaging in racist actions, you advocate it simply be choosing to be part of the group.


> Praise in public, criticize in private.

This was perhaps his reason for putting it out on a video.  She made her criticism of her father public.  To show her that it's wrong, he made his punishment public.

Telling someone an oven is hot sometimes doesn't work, and they have to get burnt.


Are you attracted to her? Or what do you mean?


I upended my burrito on him and stalked out magnificently.


why is this sarcasm? its not that hard to make more than 1 fucking bomb for a mission


"I immediately regret this incision".


Heh. Look at the comment plummet! Went from over 45 upmods to 15! Downmod army to the rescue. And you wonder why people think you are a joke.


I just eat them all.  :(


No judgement here.  I of course wouldn't choose to live in the way that they do, but I don't in any way look down on them for it.  Everyone makes their own choices, who am I to judge them for theirs?


Once every month, huh?  Mysterious...


At least shes not a tranny.


A great example is Minkus from Boy Meets World. [This clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl8ZH9QSwkI) even makes a meta joke.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


George Clooney fought the director. *Fought* the director.


Here is a reply that you can downvote... hope that helps.


"Oh wow, I love you and want to be with you forever but don't trust you enough to let you explain this situation to me before going and doing something insanely stupid"


Well I understand and truthfully, I tested this on facebook to see if people would like it, but it didn't take any time and I thought some people here would like it. And apparently they do.


I thought of the Pokemon movie...


>\> if your opponent doesn't have spells in hand

>\>arena

Chose one.


A black guy once bumped into my lily-white boyfriend in a cafeteria and said "Oh, sorry my nigga!"
My boyfriend now prides himself in being an honorary "nigga."


Not proof - just another bit in a long line of supporting-evidence...


However this trait does come with the special card if you're a politician: "Le holocaust"

This allows your character to do as he pleases as long as he plays the card BEFORE doing anything. Also the card can be used an unlimited amount of times. This automatically gives a +300% bonus on popularity.


> The boy just grunts and keeps moving on throwing things off the shelves.

Goddamnit. Why have kids gotten so bad?! Correction: why have parents done such a poor parenting job?


Don't mean to be a party pooper, but this is a very popular joke about Hawking and those lyrics. Google images "push me and then just touch me" and it'll be the first result.

Nothing genius or creative here =/


I can't decide if this is creepy or logical... Should I be concerned?


Well that's if the husbands let them use a computer. From what I've heard they're not the healthiest relationships to say the least.


If half a bottle can't kill a kid I doubt this stuffs ability to clean.


I don't know, it's not an entirely ineffective way to stir things up and possibly get your team motivated. And the distinction should be made when people act like hell's freezing over. For example, was this entire thread even necessary? There's certainly a difference between sucker-punching a goalie and a light "you suck" push meant to evoke some emotion.


Or, you know, in the chick's house.


Well im the one who said it, thats a high crime on reddit, remember these people *did* want to kill me after all.


Wait, what? Did they think clouds are stapled to blue felt up there or something?


It doesn't matter if it's name is Obama, it's still just a stupid dog.  Porch monkey.


Well let me tell you I think I agree with this


users like you are the problem, you are the ones upvoting it


He can't pass you. He *is* you. You are he as you are me and we are all together.


> When you see it instantly ...you won't care.

FTFY 8)


Haha, well considering this is the first time thats happened pretty good i guess.


Tell that to the upvotes.


I had one of those when i was a kid, but that's because i was a little fucker who would run around the store and hide from mum because fuck, why not?


yes.  you really showed me there, pal.

maybe you could further punish me by immediately provide a high quality digital image of your mother using her toothless mouth to suck the cummy shit out of your prolapsed asshole.

thank you in advance for your rapid response.


What bothers *me* most is every time I see a screenshot taken from a smartphone, the battery's always ≤ 30%


Yeah, let's not discuss anything controversial. Good idea.


came here to say this.  It's dangerous to go alone, take this.  My wife is my "this".


Eh, from the looks of it, he could have easily alerted the cops or something. The boyfriend seems quite cool and collected, whereas the kid consciously decided to escalate it to violence. I am sure the boyfriend was an ass, but at the same time, someone being an ass doesn't give you the right to assault them.


Personally I think america should do what the brits do and impose a maximum amount that can be spent campaigning. Obviously it would have to be a bit higher than the british one considering how much bigger the US is, but i think the principal behind it is a good one.


Assuming you mostly use Windows computers, this is a great idea. I prefer to use a Xubuntu flash drive, but that's not for beginners ^ _ ^


You're gonna throw your back out when you meet OP's mum


You mean Empire Strikes Back? It was decent, but is widely held to be the worst of the three. I don't think it entirely deserves that distinction as Return of the Jedi had the Ewoks. Eitherway, the first was probably the best.

Ep 1-3 don't even count since they sucked so bad. But of those three, the third was the best.


"Man, if only I knew he would have become famous, I would have been his friend!!"


Gaming on CPU intensive games like MMOs? - i7


Right folks, thread over. Nothing will beat this.


Well, 'perfect choice' aside from the whole her being fat and all. The original James Bond is rolling in the deep... of his grave.


I'm on the fence about this. I do believe people have the right to wear whatever they want, but not like this. It's good that people aren't allowed to wear masks or helmets when they are in banks.


Why are you stalking me? What is your interest?


I agree, she brings up and excellent point in the fact that it could start affecting more people with this issue.  I really hope she does become able to sue them and get her money for HER movie.


Justin Bieber obviously. Baby rape is wrong, while Justin Bieber is just a singer. Are you retarded or something?


It's alright, I know a guy.


My advice is to use a much simpler language when you talk to a prospective date. These words are poetic but they sound quite pretentious. And sign up for a dating site, preferably a free one or one with a free trial period. That's how I met my husband.


 > Every single member of every single fraternity is the fat spoiled progeny of rich shitty parents.

 - Divotus


Good luck on your degree. Some of us already have them.

You're speculating. He claimed not to enjoy suffering, but his actions tell quite another story. He sought out living people he thought would make attractive corpses to have sex with, and he did it over and over again, but first he sliced open their bellies because looking at exposed organs during sex turned him on.


No no no, you hold it up high, and yell "WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW!?"


> I hate religious sects like this

You hate Jews? lol


Things like this make me have doubts about democracy.

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."


i really don't care about the 15 sec. of "fame". I made this so peeps can post and i can reply much faster. But you responded, does that mean you also have a "below average" sized body parts..? Ooo charbroiled degree i'll say - a medium rare on me :)

but you sound pretty insecure ;) It's ok its okay, douggiee lol

your name is funny :)


That is the most horrible thing I've read all day. I love your work.


Im not a fan of you.


GG OP with the follow through.


How did they atone? That demon spawn should forever feel the wrath of humanity for what their parents did, never ever let the fuckers forget where they came from.


Stop Trying to make Fetch happen. It's not gonna happen!


instead of netdecking, what about brewing?


Follow-up question: How much do you sleep per night, on average?


I am based off of a character in a video game. Maybe I should be the new Reddit trend! Arrow to the knee jokes will make their triumphant return! Upvote if you agree! :)


It was for the best. That season with him and Desmond is great. The episode when he died was done well.


Wow, thanks for making me feel better about how endowed I am (he's really not all that big, is he??  I'm guessing he probably doesn't even have a quarter of an inch more length than I do, and his girth is the same or even slightly less...)   I rarely feel good about my dick size, so thanks!


Jesus. 4am. You are mental.


Well I eat meat and enjoy it, so I can't in good conscience fight against the torture of pigs in the meat industry.

If it's socially acceptable for the meat industry to abuse as many animals as it does, I just wonder why it's not acceptable for us to eat pets, not even abuse them. Why is it a crime to eat dog meat?


As much as I am against implants, in her case, I agree..


Because they didn't add that "Protip:" flag to the front of it as an indicator that it was a generic message; instead, it was a straight reply.

Context. If you help your uncle Jack off a horse; wouldn't you want the proper grammar and syntax just so your know your uncle isn't wanting you to help him masturbate a horse?


I think this has already happened.


She was trying to handle the situation gracefully. She later went on to say she was drawing the line. At one point his opinion was at the top of the comments and had 18 upvotes...


I'll be here all day ladies and gentleman.


How many 5 year olds do you think are reading this? Common dude. Spreading the analogies on a little thick. I think most people reading this page can grasp the concept of child soldiers. You're just making it more confusing.


You guys really Excel at Microsoft puns!


im downvoting everything else and upvoting this because fuck reddiquette im a rebel omfg

but then the bot fluffers would get me fml


Its gotten me a fair amount of women for sure. Using lines like these,  "Who wants to see my Big pete? " "You ever been slimed?  Want to?"


That sounds exceptionally arbitrary, even for Riot rules.


You are totally willing to do anything in bed, but you won't do that.


Lifting weights is supposed to hurt.  I have DOMS 24-7.  Many times after a workout I can barely move.  I do it both because I love the feeling and because it's how you build strength, muscle mass, bone density, tendon strength, and all sorts of preventative health benefits.


I thought you were trolling then I went back and saw it. Holy shit.


Because she has breasts... So if she chooses to breastfeed it's easier to stay home for a year or two after baby is born... Simple biology


Am I the only one that had to read this three times to see where he turned it around?


White knight faggots, why can't you just ignore it and move on, dude might have gotten away with it, if not for you bunch of neckbeard cunts.


The door number is on the inside of the apartment?


Stop bitching about "cake day"

Everyone on reddit used it and nobody cried. Now that someone mentioned it in AskReddit everyone here is bitching about it


Plot Twist.

OP is actually a stalker.


That was worth an upvote and a hearty great quip sir!


I don't think he said he lives in Egypt


And stronger men laugh at those men.

EDIT:[Apparently none of you have read deep thoughts.](http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/deep-thoughts-big-man/1352056)


When Canada decides they they don't want to be your friend, you may have gone too far...


You belong in a Museum


That's good. I just worry because everyone usually acts weird when I go into the eighth graders' locker room to see how hairy their ballsacks are.


> Its Guy Love! Between to guys!

FTFY


Not a word. My noisy vagina lips are sealed.


>The only reason they don't work in the long term is due to the fact that most people lack willpower and self-control. This isn't a fault of the diet, but rather the dieter.

This is flat out incorrect.  You need to do some reading, son.


Never wage a land war in Asia.


Seriously your so dumb.


You might say he was overcome with excitement.
I'll show myself out......


Oh I'm just a Dad that sure as fuck wouldn't listen to a bunch of retards on the internet when it came to my child.


it could be both, you want to fight about it?

^where ^you ^goin' ^pussy?

^^yeah ^^that's ^^what ^^i ^^thought!

^^^^running ^^^^away ^^^^like ^^^^a ^^^^bitch

^^^^^i ^^^^^showed ^^^^^him

^^^^^^pussy


LmAo iiiiiiiiSn'T tHiiiiiiiiiiiS CuTe?!?!?!

**nOt**


Wait, you told me she was married


go fuck yourself racist


Last time he tried that, the customers crucified him. So, you know, that put a damper on things.


Beep boop, women are the great satan for not recognizing my viability as a mate, Beep boop, off to blog about it, Beep boop.


That's a pretty cool way to react to a fan


Gronk being one of the punch/shove tossers too.


Or staple only random ones in the middle together, so they start clearing them up and then suddenly 50 of them lift up at once.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wD6C_0wb14U

are you fuckin serious ? DMG and still doesn't know that? Do i need to teach you how to smoke graveyard / pit now ?


Dude.. are you two strapping it? I'd be no-strapping it if that was even possible!


"Fuck that. Fuck you. Fuck off." You must be a good parent. Also this is the internet people are gona say whatever the fuck they want.


People who wear Tool clothes have **never** heard that joke before.

Ever.

Really.

:P


Upvote for R. Kelly reference. I imagine I'm the only one that got that.


Yeah but it was a Japanese 17 year old, haven't you ever watched anime?


heheheheheheh....you said breasts and penis....heheheheheh


If I was a hermit crab, not bound by human law and order... I would do this.


I'm really getting tired on the anti-catholic jokes here.


Have dick pics ever worked for anyone?

Edit: There are entirely too many dicks in my inbox.

Edit 2: I swear to christ on a cracker that I'm not Anthony Weiner or Brett Favre.


You wasted a chance to work with one of the better CSS monkeys on reddit due to a complete lack of restraint and professionalism.

While I very much enjoy RES, I did not enjoy watching you fail this challenge due to your extreme sensitivity.  You need a vacation or some Xanax.


http://www.redbubble.com/people/perdita00/works/7145515-keep-flying-and-stay-shiny

EDIT: Designer here - so everyone thinks I should have just stayed out of this one... Of course I am grateful for the exposure. I was just pointing out that he took the design and made one himself instead of buying it in my store :/


Despite the stupidity, she seems to understand that trees produce oxygen. Points for trying!


Wait, benned? This is circlejerk, not SRS.


Jesus, I love reddit for these stories. The weirdest that happens to me is when I'm out with my sister and people go "you have a nice boyfriend" and we just smile politely and shrug since it takes more effort to correct them.


Upvote fishing comments like these should be banned. See one in every fucking thread now.

Downvoted, never post again.


I'll just assume that's the original video.


Fuck you it's a fashion show. Who gives a fuck you pussy. Oh they show skin!! Big fucking deal. So all the girls at the pool parties are whores? They wanna get raped? Their parents are fucked up?

Piss off you overly sensitive pussy boy


Your cell phone, calling it!


NSFW: That's NOT a girlfriend you want to see.


I kind of like that they don't have a definite moral centre anymore. It's two years in to a zombie apocalypse - all the unambiguously moral people getting killed off doesn't feel like much of a stretch.


Cigarettes are the part that upset me, not the pot.


Yes, there is a quasi etiquette for shitting in condoms.

You tie them up, put them in a freezer, then use the frozen poop condom as a dildo.

It's called the Alaskan Pipeline.


No, first he says "jesus christ Marie" they he said "they are minerlas"

meh, u did it wrong


She's pretty good looking imo. More like an 8.


It's winter in Wisconsin too, so your tears over being humilated by the Seahwaks, and sweat from your overweight body trying to walk to the fridge for another Miller Lite could be put to better use on the roads as well.


And she didn't know she had a boyfriend! Weird coincidence,  right?


Not really.. he did it so he wouldn't lose HIS family not to save other people. In my opinion you'd be more of a hero if you were just down there saving strangers.

Part of him did it for himself. He is still super fucking awesome.


THIS.  Getting off is nothing.  Seeing a girl not being able to control how they feels, because she's enjoying it, is better then any orgasm I've ever had.


That would mean Brock shows up and actually tries to put on an entertaining match which is super unlikely.


Being in the south, I see numerous facebook posts "A Communist, immigrant, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Welcome, Mr. President!"

Like or dislike the president all you like, but you sound like a moron reciting dribble like this.


Thanks for not supporting a game you enjoy playing.


I think it came out of the hooha.


I am relaxed. So shut yo face.


Yeah, well one time, a police officer didn't smile at me. Worst country ever.


Naw man, you shut up. I get talking on the phone while driving and playing with a GPS, and yeah, I've even texted while driving, but videotaping? Seriously? Guy has his entire family in the car and he is videotaping stuff BEHIND him!? Did he upload it to YouTube from the road as well?


So is Louis Armstrong's ["What a Wonderful World"](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5TwT69i1lU)


Downvoted for being a shitlord.


Amish Paradise is stuck in my head way more than the orginal


Plot twist: the daughter was Slender Man.


Mmmm, yes....shallow and pedantic...


Seriously, he is over hyped.  Good guy but just not up to par.  Sure he got drafted by the PL, but that can happen on hype alone.  Sure he scored some goals, but anyone can do that if they hang out by the goal.


Hah!  That's awesome.  I'm really sorry you lost your butts though.


and what about you, You submitting store.steampowered.com and jeff-vogel.blogspot.com as well, everyone has their favorites...


He probably doesn't care which one he goes home with


Fingers crossed that Michael Cole has a heart attack.


Your use of HFS is insulting and ignorant. Leave.


After they have accepted you as one of their own, try to capture one and sell it on the black market. I hear their genitalia is considered an aphrodisiac in Asian countries. The rest of the carcass can be used as decoration and as a warning to others.


See? Valve knows what makes halloween the best holiday.

Good luck with your achievements and shit.


Oh. Good morning, _vargas_.


If OP happens to be a smoking hot girl, I will donate my "time and money", if you know what I mean.

**Edit:** yeah. Really not my finest comment. I'll leave it up though. Personal responsibility and all that jazz.


Found the guy with the punchable face


Fuck, you must be like 100 or something

**Edit**: jeez okay like 60 or something.


You're not allowed to mention that program anymore.


I semi-criticized a dude for training like he was going into the league. That's all I did.


>She phoned twice for police but none came.

Ouch...


Yeah one guy even has a shirt that says he will work for weed. Obviously peaceful protesters.


At first, I refused to have television. Damn fad and I wasn't going to have anything to do with it. So as we found out, it was a lot more than a fad.


Oh thank you, that corrects every nasty play I've ever seen.


"Look, you're facing a minimum of fifteen years in federal. But if you cooperate with us, the DA is prepared to offer time served and probation plus the lead role in a wholesome situation comedy and a gig voicing an animated intergalactic space commando."


What. The. F\*\*\*.

Are you serious? he "deserves" to be laughed at by v*rgins on the internet because he was nice to a girl?  /r/TheRedPill. stay there...


What's the state vegetable of Florida? Terry Schaivo.


I was accused of WKing? That's, like, the only thing KIA has never said about me. Even a large part of Ghazi thinks I'm MRA.

I think you just inadvertently proved my point. "OMG, he's not bashing /r/girlgamers! HE MUST BE A SJW WHITEKNIGHT!!!!"


YOU HIT A CHILD! YOU MONSTER!


Yes I do.

However, I try and not do it on a personal level also I try and do it in a jokingly manner.

It is a way of coping with some issues I have and so far it helps.

However, I have been told not to do it in this subreddit, so I wont do it here anymore.


It catches up to them eventually: http://imgur.com/hVg9enJ


> WE ARENT TRAINED TO MAKE A COOKIES AND CREAM DARK CHOCOLATE BIRTHDAY CAKE FRAPPUCCINO.

Don't blame customers for failures of your business. Don't offer it, if you can't make it. Pretty simple.


I met some american tourists in the alps a couple of weeks ago. Their vocabulary seemed to be largely limited to "Awesome"


haha  it wouldnt shock me if apple did that on purpose, just to fuck with us.


Disregard Lori, Acquire Prison.


And it worked. You wanted to find out what the fuck the cloud district was, and you always hate Nazeem.


Please stop you're trying too hard


* - I got burned on 32% of my body.
* +Not that bad.
* -Now I have nerve damage for the rest of my life.
* +Seriously stop being a pussy.
* -I also have an itch that won't go away.
* +MY GOD!!! You must be living in hell!


You know, in all honesty, I kinda hope the cat ends up scratching and biting the shit out of its new owners, and has to be put down.

Why?  Because I'm an asshole who takes delight in complex irony and backwards morals.  Don't get me wrong, fuck those sadistic kids . . . but I still want another twist in this story.


You're a bigger person than I. I would have gone over for one more time, insist he go down on me before any action begins. Get off. Give him the first 10 seconds of an AMAZING blow job, then put my clothes on and leave.


You know what the rest of the world does when that happens? They suck it up and stop being a little whiney fucking bitch. Suing someone for all they're worth doesn't solve your problems.

If you can't see that then I don't know what else to say


I'd go with "Remedial Chaos Theory" instead


From the pockets of corporate America. The American dream is to actually work yourself, and take responsibility for yourself. Obama does neither, and practically wasted 3 years in the white house. Good job, America. We're not racist, just fucking stupid.


>Even the handjob was like some kind of sword in the stone misadventure. Just terrible.

Best line in the thread.


Not really.

**EDIT** - Well, yes, but not necessarily that I'll agree with the beliefs I've expressed here.


TIL the Tunisian is even more of a cunt than I had originally thought.


lol people are really torn up about this. You guys are hilariously sensitive. I was kinda surprised to see this when I logged back in but can never predict what this sub will catch feelings on.

it's redditing about basketball. shit should not be that serious like you guys are taking it lol.

WHY YOU ACTING LIKE A STUCK UP BITCH, YOU MISERABLE ASSHOLE (to echo such maturity of other posters)


Hmm. I'm not sure about efficiency. But how about the graciousness of life? As someone who spends too much time in airports and train stations, and has been doing that for a long time, let me say that the advent of self-flushing toilets in men's rooms has made life significantly less disgusting.

And on the more serious front: bar codes!!!


Reddit. We keep getting older, [jailbait](http://www.reddit.com/r/jailbait) keeps stayin' the same age.


As a Texan, it was my favorite! :D


IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE [GINGERS DON'T HAVE SOULS](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY39fkmqKBM) AND HE'S REPLYING TO RON WISELY WHICH IS A PLAY ON [RON WEASLEY](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Weasley).


This is what Pimp My Ride would do if they remodeled living rooms.


Looks like some SDLs (small dick losers) down voted you so I gave you an up vote.


As in buttplug or tampon.


This. Have an upvote.


Bread Friend answer:  Trick the burglar into sucking your dick.


care more about girl parts than boy parts?


Yes. I most certainly will be looking forward to returning to my old roots. Hopefully with a new team that can embrace it. Personally, I think that as long as your girlfriend is supportive of what you do, which mine has been, that it has only helped me.

Thanks Dyrus, you're a good friend. Looking forward to playing against you more in Season 3 :) Being in korea separated us for 2 long ;D


If he was wearing a gold chain, the joke would make sense.


him: "I just want you to know, I'm going to need sex from you at least once a month and cuddling twice a week."

your thoughts: "Fuck, I'm gonna kill the poor bastard"


Careful, gain too much weight and the engagement will be ended by default.


Just a friendly banter. Everyone drinks before they're 21, especially famous celebrities.


I'm guessing OP is the autist trying to garner views by pretending to be a nice brother.


After growing up with Harry Potter, words cannot describe how amazing this opening line is, knowing now what an amazing journey it led to.


came here to say that, those dudes are clearly on steroids just like all the fucking cops out there, they should have mandatory drug tests for cops regardless of their performance.


Well, they used to be cucumbers.


Yes I do.

^I ^downvoted ^you ^for ^an ^example


I find it kind of upsetting that NOT shaving pubes is apparently considered abnormal now... I wish more people took the "I don't give a shit either way" approach.


Snitches get stitches, you are disgusting


It originates from some people saying anything they can to have sex.


This sounded like it was gonna be a really great story but it was just you objectifying a girl. if this is the best thing to ever happen to you I am very sorry.


>(sic)

That's the understatement of the fuckin century.


you are going to get so fat.


Reverse necrophilia. Interesting.


This is my fave: http://i.imgur.com/MAxRzC1.jpg


Maybe it's Maybelline.


Jeez.  Comment stealer.  You ruined my dreamsssssss!


I think that's the sound of thousands of redditors sighing


I disagree, they're pretty shit /s


the birds could be angrier


Well thats usually religion based though


*Briefly, Jay Z has 100 problems.


lolwut? The Onion sucks. I am dedicated to downmodding very single submission related to it.


>Having my head massaged

I never realised how fucking amazing this is. One of the times I was at a spa getting a massage, at one point she worked her way up to my scalp and gave it a massage... I was, to my surprise, quite aroused  I was trying my best not to blush because of how fucking awesome it felt...


You already killed my family - I have nothing left to lose.


**I'M GOING OFF THE RAILS ON A KARMA TRAIN!**


If you're holding some evidence of God not creating this I would believe you. There is as much evidence of God as there is of Antarctica.


Is that how she found you in the first place?


For the hundredth time, all men oppress women.


Thor store manager. I like it.


Ever come to work with a hangover and just unload on a guy? Taunt him like, "Wah, Wah, I'm gonna kill myself. Then just do it, you fucking pussy!"?


...and with the tiniest of voices whispers "I need about tree fiddy"


You know whats fun? getting 5000 upvotes!


No, "Do you have any dead loved ones whose name starts with J? T? S? M? R? D?" That's medium talk.


Sure, you and the great horde magically happen to look in a thread about video editing software.


Venom was the best done character in that movie.


Shoulda, coulda, woulda...learn your audience.


Then he's gonna take him to a nice, high-fancy, highfalutin' restaurant, and he's gonna buy him things, wine and dine him. And they're gonna find some things that they have in common, and they’re gonna become inside jokes to them. And then, they're just gonna laugh about them in the taxi all the way to his house, where he's gonna [fuck him in the ass.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBQiLh9N6kg)


Not sure what I did to deserve you trying to smear me. I drew this in paint by hand and it took a lot of time.

I see you've got 4chan open in one of your tabs. Explains a lot. Perhaps you asked your 4chan buddies to come and try to ruin my drawing thread?

Pretty sad. I've reported you anyway.


It's bad to be ignorant?


nooooooooooo looks like my neicse toy phone..! no pixels tHERE buddy..!! -_-


"Son, I want you to know, I hit that regularly."


Oh look, a pedophile with a thesaurus.


"Son... I hate to tell you this, but while you were in your coma... the phrase 'YOLO' became popular... I'm sorry." *back into coma*


OP forget your genetically inferior blind friend. Just let Darwin do all the work for you. Problem solved:)


He should learn the right terms. What he's asking for is "extra rare" or "blue". Rare is actually a very specific temp range from 125 to 130.


for science, how old are you?


Except, at the very end of it all, for one guy. :(


The classic, you cant criticize something until you make something of equal or greater value argument.


Just grab some soil!  Boom, you're doing it.


can someone buy me a pizza for my kid im broke pm me thanks ;0p


Don't leave us hanging. What about the bird nests?


You play on console. This game is not meant for console, it's meant for PC. You cant say BF3 boring when you have it on console. seriously, you console people are always so damn annoying. Complaining about games when you console is shitty and outdated. /rant

*Just hate me guys, your butthurt doesn't stop me from posting my opinion.*


That's weird, since guys do have two individual scrotums.

What, was he some weirdo who had a seam down the middle and looked like two hemispheres had been crudely stitched together?  He was probably a Franken-sac.


I used to honestly wish i could give him an inch, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


*Happy high school kid upvote :)*


that's ridiculous and you know it. Just because it's not part of your culture doesn't mean it's evil.

Guess we shouldn't cut the umbilical chord either. Just some more unnecessary cosmetic surgery, right?


He's not even bad looking or short, but compared to his brothers...


The original post is clearly orochimaru beating up sasuke in the chuunin exams. No signs of neji.


NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!

Ahh highschool...


>And none of that is anyone's damned business

It is is you ask others to pay for it.


I'm disappointed that I had to scroll this far to find this one.  That movie is *entirely composed out of brilliant one-liners and comebacks*.

"You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you!"

"You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die."


How classy. What you're doing is defined as whoring. Childish mom jokes aren't going to change that.


"What do you mean you're a *CHRISTIAN*! Get out of my house!"


I'm not going to say something mean, I just pity you.


The Blockbuster CEO was quoted saying "Why would anyone want to watch a movie on their Nintendo? That sounds to complicated."

You know what sounds complicated? Driving to a store, picking a movie, driving home, watching it, then having to drive back to the store to return it, and possibly pay a late fee.


Shut up Tosh you're not funny anymore.


Woah-woah-woah, an opinion calling out the hivemind *and* upvotes?

I like it!^I^like^it^a^lot^!


your hero list sounds dumb.


wait, im a girl, and we can do WHAT?


^ this comment has so much Win in it. UPVOTE!


>COLLEGE FRESHMAN

>Goes to class, takes test

>Passes!


Well a 'protocol' is basically a windows plugin rather than a browser one, it's not more secure in any way. The difference is steam doesn't let you write steam://<path_to_exe> to launch any file.

It is a bit shady to install one without asking, but it's not difficult.


HEY AT LEAST WE DON'T GET STOPPED AT THE AIRPORT HAHA RIGHT GUYS?


no really, im a white hetero cis male, and you're a douche


GGG .. Leave your reddit account logged in.  Gets you karma.


you are a faggot, 4chan is laughing and cheering. honestly, who gives a shit about cows, they're the dumbest fuckin animals to ever live.


They're wrong. Your aunt changed the terms of the agreement and you have every right to stop.


brb reinstalling Deus Ex again.


I've been trying to think of a response; all I can think of is thank you :)


suffice to say there's not enough teeth brushing to clean that for my mind to be ok with it... Lol


I lost it in the waiting room here at "folksy racism."


A joke? It's a strategy many teams have done in many tournaments to focus on one players hero's during bans


They also conveniently leave out the "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle" part.

It was my ex's "favorite quote." Whenever I think about it, I think of the time I was nearly dying of pneumonia, while she was thinking of ways to choke on as many dicks as she could behind my back. Good riddance.


>She is going to fuck a lot of dudes.


Who says it died?  They just said they buried it.


I used to think that the Bartle's and James wine cooler was way too close to home for me, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


There's billions of videos! What kind are you looking for?


I'm actually in college. And I really didn't intend to generalize. I'm not saying "all women are like X". I'm saying that in my day to day life, the women around me rarely state any political opinion. Even my girlfriend, whom I love, is pretty mysterious in that regard.


He's still there to this day, spamming the lock button to keep her alive.


Because we get it, She got a job. Good for her. Congratulate him and don't ruin the subreddit for a day talking about it and making shitty jokes.


ZOIDS.

This, Samurai Jack, and Megas XLR... I'd watch the fuck outta that.


Time to start anew...

Edit: Well that went horribly wrong.


This is why lying was invented. As long as the lie harms nobody, makes everybody happier, and everything better. Its a good lie.


>The bartender last night is a pretty good friend and she is a lesbian

how convenient. you just have an answer for everything


They don't think it be like it is but it do


Honestly, there's not that big of a difference.  Can you say what it is?


Probably part of his plan to thwart whatever Frank Underwood is planning.


Yeah, "aww, how sad..."


Well it's not like he feels pain so...

Rambo IV:   In"Hospital"ble


Um no... It's Katy Perry.


I'm still trying to think of a particular one. It's hard to come up with one on the spot. I'll circle back.


Because you are an idiot.


Australia of course ;)


Did you accidentally press submit before you were finished typing?


Goes to Doorman

"Hey, you know any redditors around here?"


and that is why I only play F2P MMos ala Champions, or GW2.

EDIT: I like the downvotes CoH fanbois. have fun when your game shuts down :)


Probably still sounded like a death threat to non-speakers though.


sarcasm =/= trolling.

I hate how you children have completely ruined the internet with that word.


Throw that in a pot with some boiling water and you got yourself a stew going.


Why don't you just send her that in a message instead of stroking  your e-penis in front of everyone?


Sounds like you're almost too gay to function.


Freedom of speech. Respect it. Her attitudes don't limit our freedoms, yours do.


Ordered. Check your messages for link with tracking, ETA, etc.


Awww, a personal attack! I'm honoured.  Also, I think you misunderstand what convoluted means.


Dam it man, why did you have to get stabbed?  You could have very least waited so we could have gotten two days.


came here to say this


I'm the male version of you. Let's get coffee.


He still a retard tho.


It was a Samsung phone.


Indeed, that faggot needs how to learn how to hold a god damn video camera steady, I was getting sick from watching all the shaking. Someone needs to fire his ass.


Yeah he'd literally sawn through the shaft of a driver so it would fit in his bag and be less conspicuous.


Sorry, but as a Baltimore resident and longtime r/Baltimore subscriber, I don't want to see activist bullshit in this sub and I think the mods made the right decision.  If you don't like it, find another subreddit.


Now when they drop the N bomb they can say "It's cool, I have a black friend."


Ok.  So don't make up the part about kids.  Problem solved.  Also, how can there be no sign of breaking skin, but a bb on the X-ray?


I played a version where the first 3 questions had to be discriminatory.

"Does he look like he's on welfare?" - "Is he black?"

You get the idea...


second amendment.

be ready to defend your life.

but don't forget to downvote!


True. But I only get naked when it's a particularly difficult or upsetting shit.


Deregulation would fixed your unemployment problem overnight.  Unfortunately you have a narcissist as your president and can't admit that his worldview has fucked the entire US economy.

How's that "recovery summer" thing working out for you?


TLDR: **Don't** break up with her, and hit the gym.


I think she's a brilliant troll, but then I don't hate women like most redditors so I see how your mental issues could blur your opinion.


Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm downvoting you because that show sucks, even when in the right context.


You're going to be responsible for so many overdose deaths.


Whoa there! You seem like the guy who says this but then doesn't wash his balls.

A asshole has shit that comes out of it, get over it and move on.


There will be kids here who have no idea what you mean when you say mouse & ball.


She should arrange a meetup with all the redditors from her town, and when they all get there, take a big group photo, to at least hold down the fort for a while.


Yeah, I have the same problem. That place is a racket


Well you did offend. Thank you for perpetuating the negativity that surrounds my lifestyle decisions. Seriously thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Why not make a faggot one while you're at it? Or a nigger gif. That'll be HILARIOUS!


there is *nothing* more manly than a slow and painful death


I dont play minecraft, but its like fucking *lego* or what?? Is it just me or are people just overhyping this because its 'ironic' or something?

Why is this on my frontpage?

adult people playing lego has always been pathetic


Not before the condescending Redditor heralds their arrival, though.


Haha I see what you did thar, you truly amazing person! I wish I had but one more upvote to give.


If only she was as easy to spread as the cheese she's named after.


1.) "human growth hormone" isn't a proper noun, it doesn't need capitalization.  It's 2nd grade grammar.

2.) Human growth hormones control your height, not whatever you're thinking they do.

3.) I don't think you can inject hormones into your body.


So your saying everything was ok until you got sick, and actually needed health care?


my spank bank's been needing a deposit


so was it great on your mother's clitoris?


it's always easy to bash and generalise people imo. Goverment would love nothing more if everyone would just nod in silence. Be happy that there are still people who dare to think for themselves, one day we might sincerely need that.

NOT saying that there aren't people who protest who are to lazy to work. But sometimes it's not bad to look a bit further then prejudices


At least include my picture if you're going to do my meme!


Happened in America and when it comes to industrialized nations it's also most likely to happen in America due to a lack of prohibition of firearms.


I don't see what you did there.


diverse tastes?....why so....,ahhm BTW,,i just taught picture in 41 if im not mistaken is [ANNA SILK](http://imagetwist.com/gqy9sd8f954p/annasilk10.jpg.html) ,is she the one? so sexy..wtf


afk = away from korea


I like how you're being downvoted for being right.


> The hardest 2 hours of your life.

☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)


You have to understand that for everyone who's not from the British isles, you guys are all English. That's not to say you can't correct people for getting it wrong,  but have a little understanding of why people are ignorant of what they are talking about.


The back of his head is ridiculous.

Edit: it's a good thing I didn't see no /r/tattoo popo when I posted this dank ass post


Or you can not be a passive aggressive little bitch about it


I enjoy a slightly larger one, my nickname is Lawrence of Alabia.


Shame on you for thinking you could make any sense on left-leaning reddit....


because they're worried you will get it in


You know what? I respect that position and I upvoted you and all, but I think this IS how the world will remember both of them.

Just not because of Futurama and South Park. Making this a cancerous shitpost of the fucking rektum.


Jew here. We stole the moon.


>keep smiling at people. It confuses them, and it makes them smile too.

>Now I smile at every person I see, even though I rarely get a smile back.

Your story is bad and you should feel bad.


Yea, I hate the way it makes my weenie smell.


Did you take the time to research what brushes out in the 70's looked like?

Or you're just randomly stating "I'm not going to be fooled!!" without any basis?

Either one doesn't paint you in a great light to be honest.


lol shut the fuck up fag balls DO YOU NO HIM???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU DONT

 so stop talking shit


Is it cheating when you're blackmailed to give someone kisses in a Starbucks parking lot?


I think in one of the movies, the second one i believe, nothing is said if their fates...another reason why johnny depp remakes can't compare to classics.
Edit: just noticed all this hate, sincerely, go fuck yourself Reddit.


Older brothers are geniuses when in comes to torturing younger siblings.

Source: life experience

Edit: Holy crap, it's nice to wake up to all these upvotes.  Thanks Reddit :')


More like he lost his EAR! LLLOOOL!!!

**#YOLO!**


It's a lawyers job to raise a defense, if the only defense he can raise is absolutely retarded, it's still his job to do it.


nice thread derail, couldn't you have just left this topic alone?


he left his baseball hat at the photo shoot so i have something personal that he wants. that's the best way to get a man!


Actually I think you will find that I had the correct usage and that you were wrong.


Possibly, "Do you want to find out?"


Testing...       UPMOTE

Testing... Complete.
Printing results...
56 tears collected.


YOUR ATTITUDE SEEMS CONDESCENDING.


To all the deniers - this is the FIRST time. Meaning radiation has been rampant in Japan since the disaster.


And I don't see this explosion as a bad thing. We see far too often people coming here upset their SO never sticks up for them to their family.

You've got a guy who has your back 200%. Don't lose him. She deserved it.


no cos we played shit and deserved to lose


It will be in a museum at some point.  Not in our lifetime. But someday.


downvote for saying 'nuff said


Oh trust me, my T16 has been in her Beggar's Canyon plenty of times.


Admit that you like it, though.

Between you and me I know how you like to drift off to the abuse fantasy.

Edit: spelling


"We'll be back in 5 or 10 minutes."

"WELL WHICH IS IT, 5 or 10?!"


i see your downvote, and, well, i guess i can only see it.


Break glow stick, insert penis, enjoy glow penis


Ian McKellen looks nothing like Magneto.   Fuck you


You are not the only one that is interested in software that makes George W. Bush read.


He can pay for his site by fucking himself.


My gym has *two* black guys


and then you black out within minutes.

and I love your suggestion that this person didn't deserve it. Yeah, it looks barbaric, but you don't exactly know who this person is. It's very possible that this was justified.


i'M STILL BLIND. i HAVE A PROGRAM ON MY COMPUTER THAT READS EVERYTHING FOR ME, AND I LISTEN TO THE COMPUTER-VOICE EXPLAIN WHAT THE MEME IS. tHAT'S HOW i EXPERIENCE MEMES. i CAN STILL TYPE AND LOCATE THEM ON MY OWN.

yOU DIDN'T KNOW HANDICAPPED PEOPLE ALSO HAD THE INTERNET, HUH?


DAdy Nooo It HURTs GOO GAAGA!!!!!!!!


That is exactly how I've always imagined Gary Busey.


Just like AIDS appeared because of niggers fucking monkeys


You just sent half this thread to Wikipedia.


She also liked really, really unfunny guys.


And with a lot of them he'd probably have a ring by now.


You have faith in our Government?


Yeah, but this guy's actually pretty terrible, so posting embarrassing pictures of him is always a plus.


Not lying, just gullible I guess.


You do realize that's actually the truly devious part of the scenario?  You'll never get around to saving yourself because you'll be too busy browsing Reddit.


Sorry, is your team in the women's world cup final? If not, stfu.


I totally want to come to your fancy dinner party.

*We're so old.*


Is that amazing? You feel being close to something rare is special? You could draw a picture that would be the only version of that picture in the world.


Because no one expects the sweet little old lady.


If by awesome you mean a disgusting wanna be chick with a dick, then I guess yeah.


tl:dr-  Extrasynaptic changes occur following the induction of synaptic plasticity which affect how a neuron will respond to multiple inputs, not just the potentiated one.

Also: thanks friend!


Yeah! LETS GET RID OF THE ABORT BUTTON. /sarcasm


Doesn't matter, watched fuck.

EDIT: Even better: Dungeon masters, WANK FURIOUSLY!

EDIT 2: Thanks to the person who *clearly* must have read the first part in a vietnamese hooker's accent.


If you're a cheater. Then yes.

N


Wtf is that, Irish star wars?


PTSD

Butthurt Rags ! Downvote is on the left.


> Fool me twice...

...Windows Vista

-Edit to add "Thank you anon redditor!"  You made my day :)


spontaneous pun convo threads, comedy gold.


>Hey there, glass physicist here.

*This is your moment*


fishing*

edit: I get the joke.  I just wanted to be silly 'cause the OP was about a spelling error.  I'll log off now :(


*Been spending most their lives squatting in the Squatta's Paradise*
*Been spending most their lives squatting in the Squatta's Paradise*
*Keep spending most their lives squatting in the Squatta's Paradise*
*Keep spending most their lives squatting in the Squatta's Paradise*


\>2015

\>admit to watching shit tier animation

\>le shiggy diggy face

manwithglassesandbaseballbat.jpg

edit - woahoHO, downboats ahoy, cap'n!!! I guess u all dont go on 4chan much huh. Thats ok its safer here ur weak minds wouldnt do well with us :\^)


I apologize in advance if we do.


You illustrated my point then! Beautiful!


Yeah, it was a good response on their part. OP seems like a dick to me.


No offense, but since you ask, the lady is quite large, in a rather American way.


The plot twist is he is 30 and his brother is 25.


We'll be making sure something like this doesn't happen again, I can assure you. Katu has now apologized and is clearly sorry. He realized he took a joke a little too far.


Chances of a guy writing this: ~80%


And Democrats seem to want to turn America into the Soviet Union.  We need a better option then what either the Elephants or the Jackasses are offering.


That seems self evident.


Whatever.  You're just being a temperamental child.


>this one really smart guy who understands how batteries work...will save you $4447

FTFY ;)


I used to game all the time when I was in middle school and high school.  I don't anymore.  I know I'm talking to a wall, but the full range of things you can experience in your life will always be more fulfilling than anything in a video game.

So, someone saying that they have to dedicate their free time to play video games is depressing.


It's not a valid *legal* argument. A believer might consider it a valid argument to not get an abortion themselves. They cannot use it as an argument to force others to not get abortions.


nope he had a week or so, not impressed.

also, I get that everyone is celebrating her because she is black doing a predominantly white sport, but COME ON. enough already.  WE GET IT, she's black, you wan't to alleviate your white guilt and tell your friends about it but enough is enough.

you certainly don't see this type of media fawning over a extraordinary non-minority athlete.


It took three hits. And it was a keg, not a beer bottle.


Why does her cat have an outside food bowl?  If your cat is outside it is hunting, you feed them inside, when they're outside they find their own food.


Why do black people smell so bad?

So blind people can be racist too.

(It's awful because the setup and the punchline are both offensive)


GoOd LuCk GeTtInG ApPle, MiCrOsOfT aNd GoOgLe To AgReE oN SuCh A gRaNd PrOjEcT


America isn't going to let ANYONE mess with its sweet hat.


You make crappy straw man arguments.

Yeah?  Maybe you should quit spending money on everything because of *shitty things going on*.

and your argument "sparing no expense", breaks too, Reductio ad absurdum.


or the fact that your arms are stuck over your head unable to actually do anything


Yeah we noped the fuck out of there as fast as we could, so I can't say with any certainty that it didn't kill someone


That was subtle, with a hint of your mother. I like it.


>Telling marginalized minorities who are already subject to staggering levels of violence that they're going to be killed

That's exactly my point. Their selfish and harmful actions put them in danger.


Step 3- your kevin-spacey friend overthrows you

edit: i'm only half way through season 2 and i can tell he's gonna do this,
pls no spoilers


Exactly, this just happened in a movie... Theres so many people that just lie pathetically, on here.


"You have a great vagina for a whore."


> the wedding was lovely when it happened!

\#nobodycares


didnt we establish this past season that, with a good TE, Eli is elite?

i think the mathematical proof was based on the additive property (citation needed) but i think it was ELI + TE = ELITE


Go fuck yourself, retard.


That's exactly what the government would want me to think.


LOL been watching the olympics i see


This made me feel a feel. Upvote.


Hello my horde counterpart.  Have an upvote.


1000 shares and they will drop it down to criminal negligence!


Romney doesn't need to be taken out of context to be funny.


you're wrong. Its his banana cream pie that really does it.


DAE MISS GSP?!?!?!?!?!!?;???!!!!?!??;?!;


At 1st it was really strange, but the more i did it the more i didn't notice them there....i just concentrate on the girl or girls...

Favorite part of the job - Well the money is great, plus it has opened up others doors for me....no pun intended....


I wont buy a car just because it has a nice stereo.
It has to also not be shit.


An attorney/accountant neglects to get documentation (records and government processes are literally his profession)... For multiple children... Yes there is some fuckery involved here


Cal could go 0-12 every year and I'd still be damn happy I didn't go to Auburn.


I was born in Kansas. My family owned a wheat farm. We moved to Denver in 1924 because my mother got a job as a seamstress. She was beautiful at her craft.

I was most affected by world war I because the government rationing on flour, sugar, and gasoline. We grew everything, but we couldnt bake without sugar or flour. I developed quite a sweet tooth for baked things!


> Jacking off

FTFY


"Hey, big-S, bro, there's a pass in the mountains. Put a wall next to the fuckin' cave"


A digger, I see.  You will need to elaborate a bit more in your insults not to come across as challenged.


not just the right, the *duty*


You should be ashamed of yourself.


he died eating a girl out underwater.


Wow, for someone who does it for a living, he did a really poor job. This looks like something an armchair home constructor did.


Yeah— making an anonymous call to the police from a payphone. Standard pay phone price was a dime in the 1960s-1970s (roughly), went up to a quarter for the 1980s-1990s, and I think it's 50¢ now but only if you can actually find a payphone.


Where was she buried so I can fuck her corpse?


What about a girl who's pretty smart?


Are we talking FOR FREE? Or some retarted $30 expansion?


One of the worst neighborhoods in Toronto?  What, do people not apologise as often?


It's weird how she's skinny-flabby down there. And OP for some reason thinks it is incredibly hot...


6 hours ago:

"I am the worst, who fails Calculus two semesters in a row, I think I should kill myself"

Now:

"Every sunbeam is like the hair of a seraph"


Obama looks like he is troubled by something or other in this very powerful picture.

<<edit>>

Why did you guys downvote me for?  wtf?


i feel Superbad was about as close as it gets.


Negative camber increases the contact patch during cornering as the tire stands up.

This is of course a little extreme, but generally speaking, negative camber is a good thing.


This post has taught me that I'm more turned off by a girl liking icp than her missing limbs.


Gah!! **hisssss** Ew!

**Edit:** wow, that's a lot of downvotes for my kneejerk reaction to the thought of childbirth and all the stretching and possible tearing it might do to my delicate bits!


Both parents were glancing wildly. It was hilarious and creepy. The mom was glancing at the dog, then back to the dad. The dad was glancing at the mom, the daughter, the dog, the mess on the floor. The son started laughing and I can't blame him, the dad was really mugging it up.


I feel your pain. I had a arthroscopic surgery on my right knee last year!


Lets go a step further.  Cops that go undercover, and convince people to break the law in ANY WAY.

"Hey baby, if you REALLY loved me you would knock over that convenience store!  I'll give you a blow job if you kill a guy in the process!"


There is no evidence that Feyenoorders did this

Still hilarious


What do you mean "working"? We've already established that he's an artist.


well if dude was high and one day he's like, "hey bro, want to see if my dog can get on this alligator?" Seems like a reasonable convo for some potheads with the means to make it happen


Just goes to show how arbitrary it all is. If they have sex today, it's rape. If they have sex in four days, it's... probably still rape.


It's "I did nazi that coming."


And where would Bing get their search results from?


Oooh, that's sweet.

Aight, that's some serious downvoting. It must have been the Digg comment that did it. Reddit is becoming quite the elitist community, isn't it?


Aww but it meant well


lol this is great, spoken like true trash


http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhMZ4JO6GP298HZHFt [NSFW]

EDIT: Youtube link: http://youtu.be/fSTaK8FDnv0 [Still NSFW - Different Music (not as good, most likely due to copyrights issues on youtube)]


at least LT isn't crying this time


I don't watch this show, but i think her contemptible character is the reason she's on the show in the first place. She'll make people want to watch.


Yea, it kinda is. hahaha

EDIT: You know what would be funnier? If I was friends with this guy so I could constantly make fun of him for being the fuckhead who was raped by a model. :D


Do you sleep all night and work all day?


We all know you only use complicated words when trying to insult someone else's intelligence. Seriously, stop trying to give the illusion that you're smarter than Santorum because you said "eloquence."


I told this joke just over the weekend.

The reception was... cold.


why is this not the top comment! hahahahahaaha!

puns are the best!! lol...

edit: still laughing, hahahahaghahaha!


90's villains are just the worst people.


Commenting to show you are not alone here for that reference


From the magic of google translate:
>Where the toilet is different from the color of their skin

what.
>If you are hungry eat your shoes

wat.


This makes more sense although I would have had Seattle by at least a touchdown because it's primetime. If you don't understand why primetime matters then you truly don't know this team.


As a woman I support this message.


Yea i get off on my partner being subservient to me too.

Wash my car, do my taxes, cook my meals and only want sex when I do. I am perfect.

Any deviation from what I want and how I show my affection to others means that they are the ones that are fucked in the head.


it's so sad but I laughed so hard at the first one. I'm sorry.


Came here to say this! LOL


have any of you people ever seen a chicken?


If you stop doing collabs off Your channel, I maaaay get that much closer to considering it.


What happened to that sub? It usse to be semi interesting(I'm not a conspiracy theorist I just like the what if factor) but now it's a massive circlejerk


Lol, marching band wisdom. Were you all wearing brightly lit costumes in the dark? It's probably pretty hard to have a point of reference other than the people around you.


Just look at Monsters Inc. That movie's entire blooper reel was artificial.  It blew my mind.


It's my sink.  I do what I want!  Whateva' whateva'  I do what I want...

edit: I guess people aren't in the mood for a southpark reference?


Walmart then goes bankrupt, millions lose their jobs, children starve and die in the street.


you sir deserve 10000 upvotes.


3 times a month sounds like you're the pussy king to a single 19-year old reddittor.

EDIT: Holy fuck, it was a joke people.  I don't give a shit how often you get laid.


>Thanks you. You provide an easy way out for sluts who would rather keep their legs open and kill it later instead of raising it

FTFY


We actually played some Crash Bandicoot 3 on my old Playstation 1!!

But then we banged eachother.


"Even if it had come from Hillary, these so-called news outlets should exhibit some journalistic integrity and verify a story before printing it."

Like the New York Times (Jason Blair's fiction), CBS News (Dan Rather's Memogate) and Reuter's photo-shopped images of the Iraq war?

Is that the kind of verification you are speaking of?


Ladies and gentlemen; Sir Buzz Killington.


They should of surgically amputated her hands.


Funny joke. Everybody laughs.


I cheated and got everything in minutes who's the winner now lol


You have potato?  In Latvia is make you rich man!  Here is joke.

What are one potato say other potato?  Premise ridiculous. No one has two potato.


I'd say calling this an algorithm is an insult to algorithms everywhere. At least facehunter is O(1) in computational complexity.


> I was like 11. The vagina has many crevasses.

/r/nocontext


Why are gay people and tranny's always acting sexually freaky?

It just makes you look bad, like some purely sexually focused deviants


"after a few years"

"at twenty"

This doesn't sound good...


Because he's gay.

EDIT: downvotes? really? seriously you guys?


He sabotaged a sandwich. More like the Toast Guard, amirite?


eh i mean true he murdered this guy and he's a savage fuck..

but at least he didn't make this guy suffer...looks like he got him right in the brain stem.


No she can hear you. It's some bullshit method of control, I've found.


The same can be said of American treatment of Japanese POWs.


http://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/comments/tj2uc/the_bridge/

Is it this one?


Dude was only famous for being prank called by /b/ anyway.


Or because they know what they're talking about


... ... ... He didn't play


why so much hate dave whelan? He is allowed to tell the press what he wants .Get over it liverpool fans.


>'I have to sort my books!' she cried,
With self-indulgent glee;
With senseless, narcissistic pride:
'I'm just so *OCD*!'

>*'How random, guys!' I smiled and said,*
*Then left without a peep -*
*And washed my hands until they bled,*
*And cried myself to sleep.*

— /u/poem_for_your_sprog


Gee, Obama hides his alleged Columbia college transcripts - when he claimed he was a Kenyan exchange student - and none of you seem to mind.

Obama is hiding all sorts of damning documents and none of you seem to mind.

You're all hypocrites.


Radio shack used to be the bee's tits. But then they started trying to sell phones and plans and shit. Now you can't even buy the components and cables that used to be their entire business. They didn't see the good thing they had going and tried to "modernize" and it lead to their demise.


Sorry but I have to do this.

You're*


I've done this as well. Or just beating somebody to 'send a message'


Actually, when youre walking/biking you should be on the left side of the road so that you can see incoming traffic and adjust accordingly.


I know I'll get downvoted for this, but for my cakeday my atheist girlfriend made me a Zelda Pulp Fiction Game of Thrones tea cozy and my rescued cat is sitting in it!


Really? The fucking ponytail says this is porn? What about the girl bending over with the short skirt that shows her ass and vagina?


weird, betrayed, jealous.  probably more than i should have.


>for karma

Nope. I really don't get why people keep saying this. It's like you assholes can't even read.


> ... "Wow that guy in full **Star Trek** uniform really gets my panties soaked. Right?! Anyone else think this guy is super fuckable?"

F'd that up FY


I do do the same.

hehe. doodoo


A lot of Best Buy shoppers aren't sophisticated enough to even do that much though...


Oh great, another TRP moron spouting sexual market value bullshit. Go back to your own sub please.


Brace yourself.

The targeted advertising is coming.


**I N C E P T I O N**


Casino elevators are constantly moving.  Hard to get a fix on them.  Those balls just get lumped in a sack somewhere after the game.  Easy to find.


Well laddi freakin da!


And it's something nice people do.

Try to be nice.


750,000 subscribers, yes there are a few dolts, perspective though. Let's not use a broad brush to categorize an entire group of people, it smacks of bigotry.


How dare you say that my source of entertainment is not of value, sir?


Your half-wit gutter language in your reply indicates your ignorance and low-gradedness. Try to get some honor, Fool.


Or a third shooter who was actually inside the tinfoil hat


please tell me that you are joking


First name problems...


If you can't manage to put a small bag of weed in a place where the cops can't find it then you probably deserved to be arrested.


There are 0 Ayden sounding names at my preschool of ~80 kids from newly born to age 5. So proud of their parents.

That being said, there is a Zebulon, so really I guess it is a toss up.


most americans have fucked up and shitty family lives with jobs equivalent to peasants not even making enough money to own a house but in the modern era

this is why that show was well received by american men


Plus, ya know... One's about a good-looking superhero who always has the right tool for the job thanks to some fantasy writing magic, and the other is Green Lantern.


Then as much as I don't agree with his views, if he was re-elected then his views must be the will of the people. This is a case wehre I hate to say it, but I might have to agree with him if that is what the people agree with.


Long hair/beard guy is at it again


Yeah but the girl was getting annoying about a third the way through, we get it already bank of America keeps reminding you of your husband's death and your overdraft fees... Jesus I kept reading b/c I thought there was more to it. Nope, just kept repeating her same shit over and over. Also, fuck bank of America.


As a former Petsmart employee, thank you.


You guys voted for it. That suggestion was the second highest ranked in the thread, so we implemented it.

We'll see how well this goes over and in time we'll re-evaluate its effectiveness.


HOLY SHIT I thought it said "i caught my mom, sister etc" meaning that you saw them all trying to screw it


Nah son this is SPARTA

Edit: Holy shit so this is what it feels like to be downvoted into oblivion


Is kind of hate parents who lie to their children. It's just not acceptable to me. At least when it's something so serious.

Edit: Just to clarify: White lies like the one about chocolate covered almonds are relatively harmless (but still kind of dumb in my personal opinion) so they're not that big of a deal. Lies about serious topics like this are just plain despicable parenting.


Clearly you don't work in an office.


I imagine your grandad as Clint Eastwood and very upset that someone took his grandson away from his daughter.


stop getting enemas then.


You're living the dream


I wasn't looking for any, I was just posting it because I could. Or were you expecting me to cry because people on the internet share a different view from me? I posted it to post it. I expected to be downvoted, and honestly expected a few "SO BRAVE" comments.


Next May: "young man tragically and brutally murdered after meeting up with someone from the Internet and going hiking in a remote location"


It didn't happen.  Zoom in on the lettering, obviously photoshopped.


But he saw a mushroom biome.


Similar to this is "Beam me up, Scotty."


Upvotes are meaningless, like your life.


Anyone who can't order their drink, pay the cashier, and be on their way without causing a scene is an asshole.


I have plenty of friends and they all obey the law. You have shown yourself to be incapable of constructing a logical argument.


Fuck her in front of everyone. Establish dominance.


Too bad they're still the worst esports broadcaster in history.


You should stop making PL GIFs, and do MLS GIFs for a year before retiring completely.

Jokes aside, thanks man for the high quality gifs and succes with the other stuff you've got going.


I laid out my argument. Females here are swooning over the picture of an individual who looks like a nimrod based on his facial expression. He's wearing loose clothing that hides the definition of his body. His undefined biceps are causing girls to splooge.

The argument has shifted against me because I'm calling this out.


Nope, that's just what people nickname their Pokemon.


This is the best comment in the thread.


She probably came to the conclusion that you tried to put something in her drink but put it in yours by mistake hence the passing out and her being mad.


What?! This sub is racist as shit literally always, but THAT comment was too far? That was the line?

I don't understand you people.


Now that is sooo much more evil than taking your own ticket and putting it on the other's car.


Funny, because he isn't my president.


I went to hooters for my fourteenth birthday (I really liked their wings) and my mom made the mistake of telling them it's my birthday. The waitresses give me a cone cup and made me run around the restaurant saying "hoot hoot." Didn't even give me a cake, or a discount. Haven't been there since.

Edit: I'm a girl lol


>“OK, we don’t need you to do that.”

That's not an explicit instruction. That's a comment.


I didn't know what an Anne Summers party was.

My mother was discussing going to an Anne Summers party with my sister in law last week.

Wat.


Honestly, I thought InControl brought a bit too much attention on himself and not enough on Thorzain but I doubt it was conscious or intended. Nonetheless, he did well and it was still a much better ending than most tournaments!


youre gonna need some more commitment my man.


A sub that I'm subbed to about a game that I play. Double agent will no doubt gain depression about the time wasted on this pointless venture.


Pretty sure those are supposed to be zombies, not grandparents.


I wish I could take all of your down votes away. Thank you for the dark dark lols.


And it should. Attractive people are more important. Just the way it goes.


So you have horrible grammar, haven't actually answered anything with serious detail, and seem to be a total douchebag.

Good job, mate.

Edit: downvotes?  My fucking grandmother could answer the same questions he is.


So basically, what you're saying is, he should have Googled it.


Gold portrait + noob plays = probably a bot


I thought you meant that you almost baby'd.


I don't know why people are down voting you. You are right. If it weren't for non religious people (atheists, agnostics, deists) and liberal thinking religious people, science would be nowhere near where it is today because of religion, primarily Christianity.


This happens so much in my hospital.

"You didn't tell us you have a history of high blood pressure."

"Well I take my pills and now I don't have high blood pressure anymore!"


At the same time it was nothing worthy of handwringing.

EDIT: The fuck, people? They basically called the Sedin's weird, creepy twins, which isn't entirely inaccurate from what I can tell. I've certainly seen far, far worse around here, particularly with respect to those two. Was it necessary? No. Was it particularly smart? No. Do we need to hop on our soapboxes over it? Hell no.


Because two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven.


Actually never mind, I figured out it was Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I actually have a life though, so I've never read it.


I tried it.

*You sick fuck.*


If we could rent a hotel room then we definitely would be staying there instead of in their house, but we can't afford a hotel room.


I know a similar feel, my mom died 2 weeks after my 16th which was also 1 day after I finished my Eagle Scout Project.

I may not be Robin, but should you choose to be Batman I can be your trusty sidekick Eagle.  (So long as you are a straight white christian and what not).


Na na na na

na na na na

hey hey-ey

kkkarma whoring :)

...

rip but seriously dont be the karmawhore


(23:45:17) <tripacer99> **I put on my robe and wizard hat**


Ehh. Rodgers doing well doesn't take away what should have been a catch to likely give Dallas the lead instead of giving Green Bay the ball.


Here's one: if a helicopter is looking for you and it's dark out, laying down in water can hide you. It defeats infrared. Just covering up with some leaves while laying in a puddle is fine - it doesn't have to be 1 foot under water.

Source: an old friend of mine is a police sargeant, and told me a story about a guy they chased nearly all night. That was how he avoided detection.


**DO NOT**

**Discuss politics or religion in any way.**
 Posts/comments about political or religious subjects will be deleted.


Someone who's had shit made up about them and gotten their ass canned for being a sexual deviant?


you prioritized posting the pc before the animals? fucking psycho.

F anyway.


You should try and beat her to this guy and fuck him first, that way neither is in the wrong.


Damn, look at all the fucks I give!


I hope its not too late to hop on this karma train.


Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But here's my number
So call me maybe!

Edit: if only I could get this many upvotes on a comment... Woe is me.


My favorite position? Oh, you've never heard of it.


That is completely false, you're thinking of the letters ё or й, which are not at all the same letters as е or и.


Dildos are not made in factories.
I used to own a dildo farm. Had to close it down. Too many squaters.


andrewsmith1986 formula:

Comment on everything as soon as it is posted.

Go back once a post becomes popular, and find popular comments.

Comment on all of those.

Eventually, just by being there and posting something bland and mundane, be upvoted

???


It's for jogging. Everyone knows you run faster while holding a knife.


can we plz stop by jimmy john's for a bite? :3


Who the fuck doesn't like banana runts?!?


And the lesson was learned by all, never put a woman in a place of authority :P


Nope. Morgan Freeman.


Not sure if confirmation bias... or Tenacious D literally rocked the world


She's old. I know ageism is wrong, but old women are disgusting or as the saying goes:

Men age like a good wine, women age like milk.


I remember reading about that when it first happened. His story was that he had a number of people contact him. He said some people came over, but backed out at the last minute. I believe there was also talk of how there were cannibal societies who would buy trafficked children and have dinners, were they were the centerpiece.


Dude, do you even fucking know what I was trying to say? Read it a few times and it'll hopefully make sense.

And you can hardly develop the cities you already have, good luck trying to develop that desert. Stop kidding yourself. You'll probably take the first flight to America if someone waves a green card at you.


Wish I heard this lie more...


Shut up faggot, no one likes you.


They would rather put up with THEIR shit for 20 minutes than yours.


>an event that has deeply affected every part of America

Not so much. More like an excuse for *amerika* to affect
itself and the rest of the world poorly, as usual.

Witch is the primary cause of the retaliation on 9/11 in
the first place.

STFU bitch.


Actually it was on digg first. We've come full circle.


eat a dick you faggot


Can confirm, this is the correct response if the dead begin to rise.


How do over one hundred people upvote such a boring comment, I'll never know.


Right? There is literally a bathroom in every closed off space in hospitals. Bitch was crazy.


That's because SRS is not a publicity campaign. /r/Redditbomb and Project PANDA are.


Years from now when he has retired, he will be remembered only by the Jeopardy question "Who called the worst play to end a Superbowl in modern history"


How is "rape sandwich" a rape joke?


"den y is it only 2012, smart gai."


I'm pretty sure you have a concept of distance because your tiny little island has always had a pretentious notion of its own importance. hashtag ohsnap


Dear ScrewedinAsia

Fuck you

Our teeth are fantastic.

- The British


Well, they are strippers after all; and probably don't have full awareness of what is actually degrading.


She sounds like a nice mom :)


This show was fucking horrible and painful to watch.


sick tattoo of an ant


I would assume people are downvoting comments with one point.  Or less.


Yeah, the Chinese have a similar concept car, but they're having difficulties with it getting up to speed and using blinkers.

Edit: linked to on SRS? That's better than gold! Thank you!


How is leaving the door open not a liability?


A girl telling you she thinks about you while masturbating is about  as close as a girl will ever get to flat out telling you she wants to bang you.


Dude, can't you see we're circle jerking. We don't need your logic. Everyone knows it was the wrong play. EVERYONE!

Edit: just to ensure my votes. #bitchmode


+1! Please share the death threat.


loved the funeral 10/10. would die again


It's because we joke about both kinds of rape. It's fucking funny if a girl gets raped, getting her cherry popped and pinned down while sobbing as she futilely tries to overpower him in a dark alleyway by a clown and it's fucking funny if a dude gets raped in a dark alleyway by a clown.


I've heard of support staff asking users to unplug a router and blow into the plug to remove dust which "might be causing the problems". The main reason they ask them to do this is to make sure the user actually unplugs the router and not just say they do.

Sigh. Users. And support staff.


Know what you're talking about before babbling. Fucking neck beard, dork.


Also, take a pic of your parking spot info.


Congratulations, you've figured out how accounts like trapped_in_reddit work. Also, are you doing the same thing with that crazy name?


the last paragraph is definitely my favorite.

edit: shit I made myself sound like a pedophile, definitely not how I meant it haha. thanks for all the karma though


So?

Is that bad?


I don't think many people understand what you meant, but they will soon.


I'm sorry, all I read was MILF.


Does not tell parents, still bills them. Nice.


They look good for being almost 61.


Who would volunteer to be the bottom slice of bread in this man-ass sandwich?


they all look the same to me.


OK this is easy and you can do it yourself.  Go to an old abandoned factory with a stop watch.  Get your car going 45 mph, and while holding the stop watch, drive into the side of the building.  Start the timer exactly when you hit the wall and stop it exactly when the airbag hits you in the face. Read the time to figure out if your airbag is slow.


**LIKE ANYONE REALLY, TRULY GIVES A FUCK**

But really, just downvote it if you don't want to see it.


Being in the middle of nowhere having the sudden realization that I can shoot my own horse.

Get off, Aim, Wham dead horse...

Marston immediately goes: "That wasn't as fun as I thought it would be."

Yea that about sums up what I was thinking.


Really cool little cousin, it's a shame the internet's ruined you. It should have ruined him/her instead. Oh, sorry, already happened, using facebook...


It was the thief's defense mechanism. He knew he was caught so he tried to intimidate the guy into leaving him alone. The other guy felt safe because he knew he had a camera on his person and there were many witnesses. Different setting, less eyes, Same situation: Thief beats up guy, takes his bike, camera, and backpack.


Absolutely. Tell him to shape up or sex will be a thing of the past. I know this would motivate me.


Seriously. I thought they'd at least have an argument in the end, but how it really ended was awesome.


.... He then pulled out a debit card to pay for the other items that WIC didn't cover.

Irregardless, of his circumstances, it's cheaper to have a fancy data plan cut off for the interim than it is to pay it for several months on end.


And for the love of god, do not rush liandries


yea most cause they re niggers


I am not a clever man. People with parents like this create clever children. I would never be able to come up with your squirrel community fascism. Be proud of your dad.


I don't buy that. You don't kill all the cows in the country if one cow on one farm has the flu.

There's something else behind that.


Fuckin' fuckity fuck.


That's funny. 1 up for you.


I'm not going to lie... I've had the mindset before with my SO "Oh really? You don't want to pick up? Too easy, I'll call until your ass does."

edit: Im a male, *ex* wife was out waaaay past when she said she was going to be home.


To each their own man, that was a pretty insensitive comment.

How do you know that I don't have my face tattood?
I don't but my ex does and I really liked them. And I have friends who are good people who do have tattoos like that also. I'm covered everywhere but my hands and throat/face, but his tattoos are actually really well done.


You mean a type 1 Civilization, I presume?  I'd give us another century.  We already control rivers and coastlines.  That's a start on our way to a thorough program of geo-engineering, where we tap the thermal energy of volcanoes and exploit the cyclonic energy of hurricanes, and extract the tensile energy of earthquakes.


A random review on a random website is recking someone?  Awesome.  I can reck anyone now!


Yoko Ono?

Yeah I know about her. Invented skittles.


The consensus among Reddit is that a bunch of stupid dicks that can't read for shit upvoted you because they agreed with you and downvoted JesseBB for asking a question that contributed to the discussion, but that these needledicks disagreed with. Reddiquette; never heard of it. Hivemind; oh, sick of it. Not saying any of this is Forscyvus' fault.


or just "buy it now" for a little bit more than the starting price


Painting OP as a hero when infact Justin Bieber did actually do this.


You try telling India that.


Your giving me attention by posting, logic.


I kind of want to try the weird condiment sausage...


I know you're trying to do a "why is this okay and this isn't slippery slope waaaaaaaah" thing here, but you should understand that I am in fact not and admin and I do not in fact make any decisions, and also don't want to play your weird little antisrs game agaaaaaaain.


Especially when someone uses them years too late. I think my parent's generation has started saying "the cake is a lie" without knowing what the fuck portal is.


It's posted on /r/funny. Utilize the up or down vote and move on.  If you want to get preachy take it elsewhere.


Wow, that really frosts my cookies.


Hey, cutters are hot.  How old did you say she is?


What if the cat is wearing an aluminum foil hat?


you sir, are legitimately mad.


what did you read at 12pm? *WHAT DID YOU READ?!?*


rofl -21 downvotes, you people are fucking retarded

edit: lol @ the downvoting, keep white knighting the dog fucker


Hot woman, overload. Gahh.

Just noticed the giant cat, what?


So being a racist now includes things even Captain America never said?


My girlfriend's grandparents live in one. I visited. It *was* pretty damn sweet.

Some photos I took: http://imgur.com/a/cSqhX


No, Cony killed thousands of children and small animals. Those r innocent. Teling this guy to kill himself is good because he's a asshole.


When a couple Krauts who were up to no good started makin trouble in my neighborhood


Probably the classic red red. I've killed so many lee sin noobs doing that shit =)


He lives in Detroit. No, seriously, he does.


I'd look really happy too if I could go out there and be dead weight but still win.


"Not only do I know how to hide a body, I know where some are already buried."


ur a fatass potato cunt dat luvs b en penetratd by a frozen shit deldo


Ha, I'd love for porn titles to be proper like in your example. "Handsome young whipersnapper enjoys a nice romp in bed with a smashing blonde broad"