He ate 7 grams of mushrooms and ripped his laptop in half, clearly this isn't a story about making good decisions.


Not sure about the GA, but this transformation might even be partially due to the prevalence of smartphones and their video capabilities.


Your dad seems like a great person.


yeah because noone EVER thought of pretending to be notch right/


( ・_・)     ▌▌

(ﾉ・_・)ﾉ ︵✈ ▌▌


>implying i fucking care about any of this

M8 I SO MAD RITE NOW


exactly.  Becks has some balls.  Also a freakish display of his ball accuracy.


Nah, "Syphiltic" is more of a nickname. It's short for "Syphilitic," you know?


You made the right choice.


The top mod, banned, is attempting to sabatoge the site.  Read the /r/subredditdrama thread to find out more.


"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken."


I'm not disputing anything here - i asked for a citation...do you have a citation for this as well?  I'd like to read up on it with regards to the health code, etc.


Try reading it *now;*

http://imgur.com/1olwh.png


Reversed baseball cap?

Deserved it.


Dude we've played truth or dare every day for the last month...

**TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF**


its funny because everyone who upvoted this as well as the person who posted it is almost definitely a newfag.  HERP DERP I KNOW 4CHANS BIGGEST MEME IM NOT A NEWFAG NOW, TIME TO MAKE FUN OF EVERYONE WHO DOESNT KNOW IT.

reddit: hates 4chan when they arent in on the joke, love it when they are.


7/10 if pasta, 10/10 if OC.

edit: it seems to be pasta


I get what you're saying, but if it's not sexual and stays that way, there are much, much worse people she could get attached too.


Bitch here, I prefer weddings.


Tits so fake they barely bounce. Looks nice though. Probably odd to touch


I wonder if they had gotten the check first if the message would've simply read "... until we were rushed out the door by being given our check before the caucasian couple in front of us who finished dining long before we did ..."


I laughed too hard at this...well played


He turned out to not be weird and creepy at all, not one bit.


Just saying I've heard people say that before.  Life goes in phases.  They're different phases of different lengths and at different times for everyone, but they're phases nonetheless.  People I thought were probably never going to have children eventually, even reeeeaaallly way down the line, changed their minds.


Think of your parents point of view. One day their 5 year old is walking around chattering about dinosaurs and regular other 5 year old things. The next day they wake up knowing calculus and physics and whatever else you might know.


Would you say a person with mental retardation (literally) who has once been on a plane understands planes better than an engineer who has spent his life studying them but, due to a phobia of flying, has never boarded one? I think you can see here that firsthand experience doesn't guarantee superior understanding.


The older you get, the more work you need to maintain friendship. I'm 28.


**Childish? You are a REAL fucking childish 13 year old teenager when you spend times caring and posting your dumb ass comment in this reddit instead of doing something real mature in real life. OMFG, somebody posted "Fuck that loser" on someone's facebook, it became my total business and I'm going to be a mature man and go APE SHIT on that and call other childish????**

*How fucking ironic.*


Never have to pay for a coloring book ever again?!?...color me excited!


HOW ABOUT THIS FUCK FACE: *proceeds to literally drop a shit and smear on fist to punch face with*


That is creepy as fuck.


haha For Sure :D ..This isn't a 'True Story' incase people were wondering.. hahaha XD ..i just thought of this comic when i was picking up pizza for dinner and saw people walking slow accross the road XD


Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.


I love how offended people are at the idea of installing a coupon printer application.  It doesn't require any physical energy and it's only a few clicks.

But I agree with you, though.  It's ridiculous.


Proper use of the word bitch, up in this bitch.


Only if they're stupid and can't understand context. And if they are, then I don't feel bad for them, even if they do have PTSD.


They view Paris as a utopia.  Everything is gourmet, everyone is sophisticated, fashion is everywhere, theres no crime, etc.  So when Japanese tourists or students go and realize its just a city, some can't handle the shock.

Edit:  Its so bad the Japanese embassy has a 24 hour hotline to call in Paris just to help people who can't deal with the letdown.


Yeah and when you count them you take into account that 100 bronze < 1 silver


Man I can't read this shit at work. I'm laughing at this and I'm curently at my new internship with the US Marshall Service. I can't imagine many more inappropriate places to read this. Bravo


ALL HAIL NIGGER JESUS THERE IS NO BLACK RACISM! only whites can be racist, thank god!!


I believe this; he is supposed to be incredibly nice.


...more like someone who participated in a threesome and when the video was distributed she got embarrassed and claimed rape.


I live in New Hampshire and confirm that it is indeed a state.


>Well, I do like **justifying piracy.**

FTFY.


I keep mine around that length, just enough for it to count as a full beard.

Consider your tits tickled.


Oh no, random internet thug thinks he knows about my life! Please stop! Say no more!


I'm not usually offended by shit like this, but for some reason my brain made an exception.

I've had a few friends with severe eating disorders and yet more with body image issues.

That's just a dick move.  Refusing the to buy the drink is fine; doing so in a way that insults someone's body is not.


You have my upvote. Use it for good.


What is that, a joke?

A support forum for weightlifters who feel bullied? Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that that was a *thing*.


I hope we never meet these disgusting rotten-egg people


Ah yes, typical tribal vengeance.


I need some moisturized for my ass while it gets blasted. but in all seriousness. I had 54 downvotes on a comment that read "id rather suck a buttered penis than a uncircumcised penis." i didnt know that many people loves uncircumcised peni'


It's pretty funny. Another complaint that the tumblrinas have made about is that two of the female characters are voiced by men although that makes it even funnier.


When did I ask for advice from any of you? I wanted the advice of Gabe Newell. I never asked for it from anyone else. None of you have any relevant advice to give me. If I wanted advice from Redditors, I'd go to the Plounge, where people actually know me and can give advice which is relevant to me.


And on that Marilyn Monroe sentiment, "Diamonds are a girl's best friend?" Really? Men get faithful companions in dogs and we have shiny rocks?


> Occasional java dev checking in

So you're a 14 year old who's in love with minecraft? Got it.


"Two possibilities exist - either we are alone in the universe or we are not.

Both are equally terrifying."

Arthur C. Clarke


European I'm guessing? Enjoy the great social benefits! Its amazing what you can accomplish using taxes for things other than defense when you know you have the U.S. to defend you should some much larger and more powerful country decide to attack you.


One might say you Xzibited genuine surprise


You took the words right out of my mouth.  Seriously people, stop posting suck fucked up stuff and/or upvoting it.


As a white guy, I came here to colonize this thread.


Pff don't ruin this persons delusion!

I honestly can't tell a difference between the fat levels of people in the UK and the USA. The only real difference is the women are much uglier in the UK and they still have some pretty fucked up mouths on average.


If Sarah Palin personally invited me...then no. Otherwise I'd be open to it, but it's a hell of a drive, especially since this chair only goes six miles an hour.


true, right after Real and Barca


Where does Hitler keep his armies?
Poland.


I gotta suck dick while fucking sexy grandmas in their anal while blowing the browsing subs.

Edit:  fuck ass shit dick gooch tit asshole asshat retard retardo asstard penisdick shitfuck niggerdick niggershit spicfuck spicdick beandick fuckfuckfuck the moderators


Right, I've done all that, and my hand is really starting to bleed heavily.


My apologies then, fine sir.  Do continue, but please throw that iPhone in the trash and get yourself a real phone like an Android based device with a keyboard.


Why that temperature?

Edit: Seriously? This became my 3rd highest comment... okay.


You can't even understand what they're saying, what the hell do you love? Did you know that they're singing about raping children and killing people?


Or a simple way of putting it:

**California doesn't have enough clouds to seed.**


I didn't. I suggested it.


Using wahoorob's edit(Hope he doesn't mind!), I removed the tubing next to her arm in case you wanted that gone as well.

My condolences to you and yours.

http://imgur.com/262hC.jpg


Do you feel like you deserved to get raped cuz your a dirty illegal mexican?


Elevators go up, elevators go down.  You can't explain that.


Guys don't like to see teammates and friends get hurt clean hit or not. But I guess some people like yourself are perfectly fine with that happening to your friends.


Blind allegiance to obama doesn't make you a patriot. It makes you a moron.


Come on, A Clockwork Orange Tabby was at least a little like Garfield. And 2001:A Space Odiessy was pretty good too.


surely you're not the angriest because you're the ugliest, no?


I've slept nude since I was about 10yrs old. Funny thing is that none of my girlfriends ever slept nude till they met me and I converted them all.

Nude sleepers unite!!


Yeah, it did sum it up perfectly. Eccleston's doctor was an arrogant jackass.


It was his way of saying he wanted you to be his first.


The build up towards Rust has been bigger than the build up towards the rapture. I can hear the 2001 Space Odyssey tune followed by the Star Wars tune. All leading up towards a.... fart!

As if something miraculous would happen on Rust 1.0 release. Nope. Same old shite by same old shitheads.


TIL that Ferdinand was assassinated at a job interview.


Dude, looking through your history is just comment after comment on this sub; why are you so full of hate? Is it because you hate yourself so you spend your free time putting down other people to make yourself feel better? Haha jeez, get a life...


THIS GAL. THIS IS A FUNNY GAL.


Actually, it does. Down voting these from now on.


Laughing at the people in my neighborhood who have to go to work.


Or just ban illegal immigrants from bringing that shit back in


That's not how percentages work...


Will you all shut the fuck up about these "wolves" that you seem to know so much about but show watchers don't?


As a fellow eye doctor, this deserves more upvotes.


I used to be Garlic Dipping Sauce, but then I took an arrow in the knee!


Came here to say this. You asshole.


The world will never know. The worst playcall I've ever seen in a Super Bowl


Do you mind then if next time I confer with you before I post? My goal is not to please some of the people some of the time, but all of the people all of the time. Nah, really I just want to please you.


I like it when people come up and talk about how they have Ben & me in their freezer, as if our little heads are stuck inside their freezers!


heroin/oxy > weed

poppy > cannabis

i hate self righteous stoners who do shitty drugs


"And I'm at least a mile from the embassy."


How about you break into a library and get a book on a decent programming language.


Letterman.  Bill Murray.  Steve Martin...for starters


Okay. Glad you got that off your chest, I guess.


Okay, made me laugh. I think that would be the one that didn't come to the funeral, though.


It's Half-Life^2 it's a railway shooter where you shoot people and are fighting some evil government (seriously the story is pure garbage). Game is pretty fun though.


The insurance company is denying claim. They say workman's comp does not cover owner of business, even tho I have paid for the insurance for seven years. My doctor says it will probably work itself out, and as long as it doesn't get infected I'll be ok. So to save money I have to let it drip out slowly. Anyone still think we don't have a healthcare insurance issues?


Lol yes, you're obviously discounting it.


perspective is off on the nearest window


You're still an asshole, OP.


She can't be doing all that well if she still uses myspace.


As a confirmed SEAL I will tell you this, Chris Kyle was a fat fuck, pussy and deserved what he got.


Not with Bing, that's for sure.


They've accepted evolution now.

They are one of the more progressive religions.

It's time to forgive, forget and move on.

By your logic we should hate the leaders of today for the millennia of genocide, manipulation and sadistic political games their predecessors waged against us in the past.

The world wouldn't work if we held grudges.


It sounds like you need a different social circle!


i don't want to argue with you. Don't fucking use the t-word. It's a fucking slur. I don't care if you totally meant it well.

You don't get to use it. I don't care what trans person says it's ok. It's ok for them to say it because they're trans.

If you're trans? Then don't fucking call me it. Use it for yourself if you want, i don't care.


youve been eating too much pizza


I get that it's your cake day, but that's not how you use that.


There was once a young Vampire called Mabel

Whose periods were really quite stable

So every full moon

She'd take out a spoon

And drink herself under the table


Or just don't stuff your face every hour with food and drinks, considering you're doing nothing more than sitting on your ass in a car. Dispose of what little trash there is at each rest stop and a trash bag is pretty pointless.


My boss is Russian and a hardcore Russian fanboy. If you were to ever mention the possibility of Russian troops in Ukraine he would tell you all of the reasons why you are wrong. Then he transition into oil prices and how the low price of oil combined with a weak Ruble are actually really good for Russia.

Some people refuse to let anything change their minds.


She never had a problem before. We've spent a TON of time with her before the trip and she never spoke up about this before. They even hosted dinner for us and my parents' French friends from out of town and she seemed totally okay with it. Why do we suddenly have to change?


Black bears are more likely to be criminals.


...because this is a representative example of all people from the 70's. Get out of here.


You'd have to be pretty crazy to ship 3 pounds in a box like that. I'm sure the police will want to know where someone was shipping 2 pounds of mj. They'll probably get in deep shit for that pound of pot.


>swag

FTFY

edit: downvotes?  [really??](http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/who-gives-a-shit-harrison-ford.gif)

edit 2: [MFW](http://i.imgur.com/0aguQ.gif) I reload and see how many more downvotes I'm collecting off of this.  [BRING 'EM ON](http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/390/465/16e.gif).


Yeah, now I'm destined to haunt reddit for eternity.


Did you read the article?


dear sweet butter jesus

i'm glad you're still with us


It's like I can summon them.


They said he was flying an f-18, not a moose.


I used to troll constantly, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I'm IT?! XD

I'm smiling all over. Can't keep it under control. It's installing as we speak.


Kanye West is involved,  it's not music,  the guy is a fuck in douche.


Too busy wrecking ass on SF


Please stop misrepresenting your ideological differences with someone as their flaws.

For fuck's sake. This is a post about how segments of the LGBT community need to stop hating on other segments, and you're shitting all over feminist LGBT folk for their grievous crime of being un-liberal.

This whole thing has bullshit written all over it, and I'm not having any of it.


"Alright honey, come here, you're going to get daddy lots of karma" -WonkySight


Fucking idiot. we need to fix our school system. goddamn kids these days.


Get yourself a GoPro!


Anyways, Scholar of the First Sin is basically the creator of the game saying "Y'all fucked up, remake it". Except it's not a remake, it's them sticking shit in to make it less terrible.


Nine months later you were born


yáll is a bunch of faggots. Autotrader, filter, make list, buy car. Hope that helped.


no one wanted to ether


It's no more torture than when kids dunk each other and hold someone under the water at the swimming pool.  It's scary, it's bad behavior, but we aren't going to start arresting kids for torture.  Next we're going to have to start arresting kids for having slap fights, not torture.


The fat guy shaped the mother fucking internet.


╔═════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ════════════════╗

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Upvote this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful novelty account   ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don’t take no condescension. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

╚═════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ════════════════╝


Have you tried peanut butter?


I hope the baby and mother die in childbirth.


It's take your daughter to work day.


Obviously I mean "you" as in his country as it is his country that bans it. That view is highly supported there so chances are he does support it. Also equally obvious is that 1 person can't change it all BUT 1 person can help change it. Thanks for your extremely insightful post.


Ha, the old hotdog in the underpants trick. Old but gold.


>To use your own words: Spoken like somebody that has no idea what they're talking about.

Way to bring experience to the table. How many times have you been to Palestine again?


"If you look long enough into the void the void begins to look back through you."

Nietzsche was a very wise man.


It's been shown time and time again, that those with degrees don't have much higher compensation, if any at all, over the span of one's professional career.


Nah. She's just an awesome kid. She makes it easy for me to be a good Mom.


I used to feel shame, but then took an arrow too the knee!


Since when is any medical condition not in your scope of practice? You may not be able to definitively solve this guys problem but you can still transport him pretty much no matter the illness or injury.


Unfortunately a large majority of Redditors have attention spans worse than some goldfish. And especially in this case where the title goes so directly against most Redditors mindsets, I doubt many would see it through unless told to expect something.

But yes, that was a great video with amazing delivery.


thank you, token weeaboo


Step 1: Eat frozen grapes.


Oh, hi 2011! How you been? Yeah, it's been pretty busy over here. Oh, if you hear anything about some pop song from Korea by a guy who looks like a pumpkin in sunglasses, get in on that shit on the ground floor.


"Measure twice, cut once."


This isn't funny and you saying this can lead to criminal charges. Jokes about weapons are no longer considered jokes under most State laws and especially Federal laws.


I was sorta wondering if his mother named him after his father.


Those are bricks you fool.

And you can't turn anti-aliasing on for *real life*. Have you ever been outside?


I call them farticles


He didn't fail a drug test.


I would have said "They come into port at 3pm, bring the 5 mil, watch your back, you're being followed..." Zip up, and walk out. (after washing your hands, you sick fuck)


You know, there are also people in the US who make tons of money providing millions of jobs for people and not fucking everyone.


"Better safe than sorry." -Bamboo


http://i.imgur.com/EfGRj.jpg
[EDIT](http://imgur.com/OuUHt)


Totally agree, I work with a girl who always plays the "you will understand when you are older" card in arguments.


I envy his dedication. I find it hard to move from my computer to the shitter sometimes.


Did he yell "Have a nice day!" while he did it?


What the fuck does this have to do with the topic?

Go beat off in another thread man.


that, and the driver's PTSD


White people have such shitty families


He was too weak for you anyway.


downvoted for prayers


Thanks for the compliment.  I pay close attention to the body language of who I am communicating with. While I am speaking, are they bored? excited? indifferent? curious? If you don't take notice of all this then you are just lecturing.  If and when you do, then you are empowered to discover the conduits of contact that can maximize the value and meaning of what you are saying to others.


You're the one who invited your friends to bully your way into TEST. I'm defending a minority safe space from a subreddit which is been declared a hate group and which has a long history of attempting to destroy feminism.


Go on! Did he look like bitch??


Correct me if I'm wrong, but why is this so wrong. Obama stated that small business owners didn't build it theirselves. Why is it so wrong for an owner to call him out on it.

Edit:  Lol r/politics. Way to reinforce the stereotype that goes with this subreddit


Why, Bicaz it might get flooded?

Edit: Highest voted comment is a pun? No fucking way...


Judging by the type of person who seems to inhabit the more sinister corners of /b/ these days, I wouldn't be surprised if some of them were pro-meth


YOU WOULDN'T STEAL A CAR!

Except for the part where most people probably would steal a car if there was a way to make a new car materialize in your garage without taking one away from anybody.


So edgy. So brave.


Upvote for honesty, most of the time the most selfish person we know is the person in the mirror.


Oh, you've still got fucktards at your reddit - the kind that have no respect for the admins and their choices.


I like that he had to look up D.B Cooper to know whether or not it was himself.


say that to my face, pussyboy


THERE ARE NOT NEARLY ENOUGH OBSTACLES IN MY WAY.


Fuck both of you.

What a thankless job being a progamer when every fuckwhit doesn't think twice about insulting them.


This is true, but some people continue to seed for things that are hard to find and they enjoy. I, for one, continually seed your mother.


Holy shit man maybe you should have spent less time on Reddit and more time nurturing your relationship!!!


Don't forget the fact that was followed with "me, I'm a nice guy."  Clearly.


Can the retards on this site really not process ideas unless they're restated in meme form?


Yeah, I would love to return as Boo in the future and knowing Pixar in another ten years there might be another sequel! who knows!


Sorry, man, it's not. The point at which your assailant is no longer attacking you, if you just keep throwing punches you become the assailant.


Ok but you still need the 3D printer to print the 2D printer.


Your flair is England, your whole life must be one big joke.


Someone's gotta hold the phone...


I don't see what the big deal is. It's her body, she can do what she wants with it. It's not as though this is cheating; it's showing off.

She doesn't need her boyfriends permission.


Or... uh... When you're a girl and the little fart bubble goes forward instead back. You know what I mean?

EDIT: My highest rated comment is about vagina-farts. ಠ_ಠ


Hey guys, I'm a rape survivor -- because (1) you die from rape, and (2) it's true because I said it on the internet.

Edit: I appreciate the downvote brigade, but I don't see how I'm wrong. Why would you not be skeptical of bullshit said in a flame war *in reaction to someone using the word rape*?


Yes, he was shopping with his mother.


Holy crap why does it show I downvoted you 41 times? WHAT DID YOU DO!


The twist:  He said that to his own child.


"we should also hide the levels of the four abilities because why not just hover over it?"

solid reddit logic


As a woman who literally just had a similar situation happen where a guy wouldn't back the hell off, and even called me "cold" because I told him I wasn't able to date him (I was being nice... He creeped me out and I wanted nothing to do with him), I can 100% say that this is exactly what I wanted him to understand.  OP, please just leave that girl alone.  If she's into you she'll get in touch.


Greatest comment ever.


I totally agree. I think she looked better before the makeover.


I am stating a fact, not starting argument.

The disc drives are slow to stream from, they have regular, slow hard drives in them, and the way memory is handled makes it difficult to keep all textures in memory at all times.

It makes pop-in a very real problem.

I wasn't even talking about fill rates.


talk to a lawyer first so you can be the first to file.  bring flowers to add guilt


LmAo iiiiiiiiiiiNtErEStiiiiiNg................................................................................................. **nOT** *LoLOL0ooOooL 0Wn3D !*


Yes, I would imagine she would find driving to be "difficult or dangerous".


Perhaps you could spend less time plugging your book and more time understanding how an IAmA is supposed to work?


He is, and don't call him Shirley.


Good on you: better on floor.


I kinda think that's a bit weird


No one cares. It's up to the individuals. No one is demanding he colorize. Who gives a fuck about your opinion? Who? Who?, I ask you! Fucking no one. You contribute nothing, NOTHING!! There are two sides of this and you chose the other, oh wow, big fuckin' deal. Shut the fuck up and die. Fuck you. Fuck you hard, you fucking faggot. Eat shit.


Also, there needs to be some teeth to the "no sensationalized headlines" rule. No more "cancer/diabetes/AIDS cured" please!


Why does everyone think he was dead/a molt/an exoskeleton?


Maybe that is the truth and he convolutedly created that girls profile years in advance just in case.


Inception.

I'm such a rebel.


Not in USA biiaattchh U-S-A! U-S-A!


perfect example of when a cat should just be **put down!** why spend money on expencive operations, its just a fucking cat


...not sure if compliment or concealed threat


Shut up Apostolate, he can do whatever he wants!


They can't even land a rocket on the United States, how are they going to land one on Mars?


I random every ranked game.  The excitement of finding who I get after hitting lock-in and confirming I will receive a random champion is too exciting not to use.  If I get a free-week champion I don't know, I can usually find a friendly summoner who will trade for a champion I wanted.


Except those unfortunate souls that manage to get somebody pregnant with pre-cum.


More or less

[<3](http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/x1b5k/i_would_do_it_again/)


Any sane weirdo would just forward them to themselves and then delete the sent email.


Not a problem. I don't want some high maintenance girl puking up the supper I just paid for.


Maybe he was so into the site that he purposely parked like a douchebag in hopes of being featured there.


can we find a way to kill this dude? Seriously


Ride my bike
Swing dance
Devise ways to grow more food in my garden and save energy in my house.
Life's pretty gooood.


Yes because most movies from that era are boring and no movies after it have been like 2001 so it was not ahead of its time. Over rated movie which can only be recommended when you can't sleep.


It's a scene from an emotionally manipulative sermon shown in the documentary "Jesus Camp." The flashing lights and raptor head were added later to turn the gif into a Raptor Jesus parody image.


Not a rage comic though, so I had to report it.

OP, please resubmit to [/r/pics](/r/pics) or [/r/comics](/r/comics).


Not anymore

EDIT: Holy jesus-balls, my first gold! Thank you, kind stranger.

Bit weird that my top comment is one I made while releasing a fiery old shit on the crapper though. Guess I drank my Peruvian lambs armpit soup before it was cool.


YOLO, and let the downvotes rain in!


she's rewinding the internet!


Why is this downvoted!!!!

Edit: Why WAS this downvoted


Young Carlton Banks...


Which above comments? I said one thing that could be considered being an ass, and it was a response to a pet peeve of mine. And hey, at least you deleted your original non-sense comment before anyone else could see it.


Sorry to hear about you and Katie Holmes splitting up.


People with good taste.


Should have gone to the doctor after 4 hours


Oh shit really? I didn't know that there are other countries in this world, you simple minded mother fucker.


If I get sleepy while driving late at night, I whip it out and start jerking.  I just edge though, because if I cum I'll get even more sleepy after.


I'm sure a shorter guy will be glad to help you with the load

Xp


People do that already; the car just doesn't answer though.


LOL

still real to you, dammit? xD


I think a lot of people are missing this part. I'm sure the Pope knows all the theological reasoning behind this question and a thousand others because he has been a part of the catholic church long enough to become the Pope. I think the point is that he had trouble answering the kid because he's not used to debating the philosophy of suffering with an actual suffering child.


Tasteless is such an utter piece of shit. He's like an anchor to Artosis.


and then moves on like a boss.


Speak for yourself and hit the gym, fatty.


Yeah, but with a lot less rape.

** There's always gonna be some rape. Also, yelling "game on" after dropping the soap is a great idea.


Gees, just fill out the visa form and be done with it.  It's a stupid rule but it's no big deal.  Many other countries have rules which are just as bad.  If you want something to complain about just screw with Mexican border guards about your visa.


Lady thinks that eating trash builds up the dog's immunity to trash-borne disease.

Little does she know, that's a built-in feature of dogs.


What a fucking nerd. Grow up, you have a child now. This isn't some game of pokemon.


Another one I always liked was whenever the parents ask where Timmy got something, it was always, "uuhhh... Internet?"


Or any other content that would make someone laugh!


Is it getting solipsistic in here, or is it just me?


You're a moron. The bailouts were necessary to prevent a Depression. There will always be taxes. That's just a fact of life. If you don't like taxes move to Somalia, kid.


It was funny being on the bus in New York with Colin, and a guy said that he had to constantly remind himself that Colin wasn't actually a murderer.


Weak.... Soft-resetting is pathetic and makes me sad, if it's not completely random, making it actually legit, instead of paper legit, it's not an actual accomplishment.


The hip hop music is usually a dead giveaway.


Nah. Just little to not time for children who see monsters under the bed.


Firing randomly into your ceiling works too.


GAGA MAMY why DADA PUT his SnakE ON My VAGINIA!!!! GOO GAH goo I wana pwuay owieee!!!!!!!


To go along with this answer, where do you most often use elevators?


No. It's been explained to you and you're clearly not worth the attention.


i dunno, it sounds like what you are cooking will result in a bit of revenge in the olfactory region


Pretty dead on? I think you're severely underestimating just how big Tom Hardy is as Bane in TDKR. This guy looks like he took weights class in high school. Tom Hardy looked like a damn freak of nature.

EDIT: Interesting to think people actually think this guy is even close to as big a Bane.


Forever tagged with RES. Hope that makes you feel better.


The only *one*? If you're really an atheist, then you should say none are on offer. Or are you a polytheist?


Take his patch! He's dishonored the club.


Lotta vaginas here tonight.


dry piece with a wet tail is the best sensation


Yes, you can do that, Contingency Reserve, Contingency Plan, Contingency Condom. However, he's not referring to an event but an object.


MMMMMMMMMEEEHHHHHHHHHHH......


Early bird gets the karma.

edit: Stupid comments I write get the downvote.


There is also a Greenville, GA. I've been to all three. I live a sad life...


Maybe it was revenge and she touched them first? I dunno, I'm grasping at straws looking for a reason to justify kids doing that.


Except the ones with her in.


How old are you mate?
35 is not that old.
You will know when you get here :)


A joke here in Alaska is that if Texas doesn't shut up about its size we're going to cut Alaska in half and make Texas the third biggest state.


Definitely agree with you. But i also think some people get jipped on salaries because they dont know how much to negotiate for.


TIL clickers used to make noise.


NATO has actively expanded to surround Russia for decades. Russia hasn't encouraged this at all.


He was not making a statement about rights, he was mocking women at a slut walk.  Two different things.


There is something wrong with your caps button. You should look into that.


YOU'LL NOTICE I DIDN'T RESPOND DURING PRACTICE TIME! GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR! I SAID GOOD DAY!


Woah. Happy Cake Day NOA!


> I swear those people think in binary.

1!


No, you're in /r/ImGoingToHellForThis.. Dumbass


Yea, that rule had to be amended about 5 min in.


You'll get my up vote.. This time..


I bet this is how breadsticks were invented.


edit: tired of retarded comments, just downvote and fuck off.


Probably because he knew she was a huge bitch and wanted to dodge that bullet.


I was actually out of school that day. As soon as I heard about it I fucking lost it. I cried for 3 days straight. it didn't help finding out who was affected by it either.


Like [this](http://i.imgur.com/xQ1zM.jpg)?


americans. irked by how much it costs them to kill hundreds of thousands of women and children. that shit's rich.


I don't know how anyone could mistreat the person who brings pizza to their doorstep.


How nice.  You must be so proud of yourself.  I'll meet you for an academic decathlon, IQ test, or a foot race to give you a chance to prove me stupid, insane, or whatever you want to speculate.  I live in Seattle - let me know when you're around.


Ah yes, "Neptune's Kiss"


> I don't understand why you wouldn't expect them to be downvoted?

You're right; it *was* silly of me to expect the people who fap to my reddits to act like grownups for 30 seconds.  What *was* I thinking?


Peter Parker wasn't.  Peter got cloned (a lot), and one of his clones, Kaine, was a villian, but then wasn't.  He took up mantle of the Scarlet Spider and beat bitches up in Houston for about a year.  He rode around in a car a lot.  It was great.


She sells store made cakes. Therefore if you think the Oregon baker has an obligation to sell to gays then this baker has an obligation to sell the final product and to the anti gay customers as well.  You are being a huge hypocrite in your liberal stance.


Malevolent Genie effect: He get's a 3 foot long horse cock that renders him immobile and completely impractical for fucking anyone...except horses.


Oh I already know reddit's stance on morality. I believe the CEO was quoted " removing /r/jailbait was not done due to a moral judgment, but because the consequences of allowing it to continue prompted other events external to reddit that threatened the existence of the site."

Child porn, A OK until it starts losing the company money


"tell me why"

"i need another pet rock"

"tell me why"

"i bought that alf alarm clock"


Sauce? Back to 4chan with you!


Why the fuck do you feel awful?

It seems like it was a good wake-up call.  No elderly person has ever said, "I should have spent less time with my family and more time making money".


dude. relax. its not fucking obvious he wants to take the day off.

tell me, Where DOES it say he also wants to take the day off?

Hmm? Why the hate because i dont understand a joke? Seriously?

The only problem i had with this joke is because it is never stated the other co-worker also wants a day off. not everyone wants a day off their job and some things need to be stated.


He probably shouldn't have came


I assume it would get stronger if it ever totally rehealed but since it happens daily it stays damaged and sensitive. Also, I don't know that this is the reason, this was just one doctor's opinion. Like I said, no one is sure. Also, I do have medical documents but I don't really fell like scanning copies of my personal info and posting it online.


Did that guy just get a fucking job?


Oh, so being called attractive is just as irritating as being made fun of for being ugly? You're so full of shit.


People aren't gonna upvote this because they don't know it exists, but this is the correct answer. It is worse than Birdemic.


stalk people much? btw your username is the biggest fanboy shit ive ever read. embarrassing really, but expected from this sub


I think the saddening face was the realization that he needed to put her down.


Yes, Louis CK is far better than any of those other hacks you listed.


Why did you do porn under your real name?  Isn't that the first rule of doing porn?


The issue is that we try and keep it as confidential as possible so that people are comfortable sharing their proof with us. If we betray that trust, then future posters will be deterred.

Sharing the type of proof given is generally pretty innocuous, so we do it in cases where they haven't completely verified everything, but enough that we can be reasonably sure.


Absolutely the same for me.  I love eating out, but I don't want to come up with a mouthful of hair.  I don't care if it's shaved or trimmed, whatever she's comfortable with, just so long as she's doing something to let me get in there.


noone cares about vegetarians if they don't open their mouth.

they only care when people say "you know, you shouldn't eat meat".  sorry, you arent going to make me feel guilty when I have a delicious rib-eye.

edit: lol wow people seem butthurt, ok i'll enjoy my steak and you enjoy what you like


>Tony_fe

>Tony_Iron

>TonyStark_IronMan.

OF COURSE you did this!


Well, you are retarded to lose your account in the first place. Wanting a way to get it back is reasonable though.


He nailed it with the "Hey Girl," didn't he?

How long have you been dating?


It was a joke and I assume you're literate and can deduce that, right?


She's clearly interested in this fellow, how cute <3


You sir win the internets... That's right, all of it


Maybe it was high tide?!?


That guy is L.A. Reid, it's actually kind of racist that you would think he was a skinny Cee Lo.


I have. I just unplug the printer and buy a new one.


What was it like to find out your wife had a dick after marrying her?


A 'hollaback girl' is the secondary level in a team of cheerleaders. One set leads the cheers, another set 'hollers back.' She's saying that she's the alpha.


You shouldn't feel like a hero, seeing as you were there, for all intents and purposes, as a mercenary.


I have nothing to say. I just really wanted my one interaction with you.


A nation has the right to protect its borders and limit its immigration. Do you agree? Yes or no? I do not agree with the Marxist mantra "No Nations, No Borders".
We do not blame all the problems on the 'foreigner'. We blame the politicians who have allowed mass immigration to spin out of control.


Yes, it's true. It would John Graham from Musselburgh. Give Kenny my best. Top lad.


You must be mistaking New Yorkers for the fat midwestern cow-people that visit us and gawk throughout or fine city.

Fuck with a true New Yorker and they will likely catch you and cordially relieve you of any electronics or jewelry that you may be burdened with.


Money and fame gradually turn people white.  Everybody knows that.  That's where white people originally come from, and why ones who are born pre-whitened think they're so fucking superior.


too bad he made an absolutely awful, illogical and campy third film, terribly paced with too many characters. after the hype settles down people will see that film for what it is. right now you are all in denial, in hypeland, to realize how mediocre it was.


If it was supposed to be an attractive girl: Darren.
If it was supposed to be a monster: Sam
If it was supposed to be a middle aged housewife: Timmy


No cops are innocent....


Yes, yes... I'm here!


You left out the word "Bitch". (reference to my, perhaps flawed, belief that your husband resembles the character Jesse Pinkman on Breaking Bad)


So your future self was telling you to get your shit together.


Dear Michelle,

I'm getting pretty tired of you walking around showing so much skin. Stop wearing Anna Wintour and get back into your burqa you fucking skankwhore.

If you do that again, I'm going to saw your head off with a rusty blade to restore honor to the Obama family.

Sincerely,

Hussein


18'11"  2567lb North-Moria Troll here. RAWRS.


Would still throw a lot of picks


hahahahaha

good job guys, the script is halfway finished. let's get this into production and forward all this to the studio honchos before they balk at our funding requests.


Do you plan on giving short answers to every question?  It feels like you're disgusted by having to answer questions, and you want it to be over as quickly as possible.


And then, I knew the account just had to be made.


And?

I'm ok with KiA still going. I don't really want to destroy it, and I've just kina moved on and stopped looking at it (except when someone calls my name).


Or worse, Canada. ^^^Only ^^^kidding!


i can't he was an ass and send it on steam directly. fuck his world


why did you leave south park?


**OMG UPBOAT THIS SO MORE PEOPLE CAN SEE UNLESS YOU ARE GAY THEN DOWNVOTE AND GO TO HELL HOMOSEXUAL FAGGOTS**

THIS POST WAS ON 9GAG YESTURDAY(EXCEPT THE ONE ON 9GAG WAS BETTER AND FUNEHER), DOWNBOAT THE OP SO HE GOES TO KARMA HELL!!


It's cause it's a black dick isn't it?


hi im op on my alt :) not a random person pls send code tx

edit: r u muthafucks dumb or just no sense of humor


I have dreamed of this day.


<3

I would love some death threats.


Hey.  *Hey*.  Hey, guys.  *Guys.*  Guess what--wait, no, *listen.*  Guess what I like.  Guess--*guys*--guess what I like, hey, hey, guess--*guys*--what I like?

*Breasts.*


Can I suck your dick?

Good to see my ebin comment is really rustling some jimmies :\^)


And the award for most clever subreddit name...

Edit wow my highest karma comment ever...


Yes, I have seen Bowling for Columbine as well.


LOWER THE UNNECESSARILY SLOW-MOVING DIPPING MECHANISM!!


Sounds like a Future Homosexual of America member.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.


Fuck you.
-The South


Yeah, it would be interesting to see him in a real league.


OOOOOOoooooh say can you SEE^EE^EEEE^eEE^eEEE EE^EEE^EEEEEEE EEE^EE eeEE^EeeeeEEeee^EeEE^E^E^EEE^E^E^E^E^E^EEE^E^E^E!!1


He seen you on the ward and he predicted the ult would kill Nami... If he was scripting he would of killed Nami...

The really sad part is that you didn't  dodge any of his ult... your LeBlanc you could of W forward and dodge both of them...


It's just funnier to picture him somehow pulling out a keyboard from a carry-on and letting it rest on the entire row.

"Okay, you can solo around the eighth measure if it's feeling right, just follow my lead"


Thank you so much for pointing out this subtlety.

I came here for the usually redit "waaaah waaaah whites have it soooo hard circlejerk," and was ready to cut down he priviledge with my truth sword.

But you good sir. Top comment without neckbeardism. Le best comments.

Edit: classic proof is in the pudding example right here gents. No arguments, just accusations and faulty downboats...


If one person around you fakes their death, it's them.  If multiple people around you fake their deaths, it's you.


how long you been playing for kiddo

edit: i pissed off a lot of defensive silvers i guess, downvote away ive got the karma to spare

edit 2: im not the one who was licking the fucking wall!

edit 4: geraffes are so dumb

edit 3: hippocrites

edit 4: who knows what wouldve happened if i had said this about an anteater! god damn!

edit 5: its a LONG HORSE man!


Many many times on SNL. 3 or 4 when I was the opening scene. Probably the best was when John Travolta played Brando making fun of our historic interview.


This is funny, but Bill DeMott using gay slurs to try to toughen up trainees is homophobic and disgusting.

DAE Reins is a faggot?! Am I one of you guys yes? Am I cool?!


BACKDOOR SLUTS 9 IS ON NETFLIX!?!?!?!?


MY MOMMY SAYD DAT I HAS TO SHARE DA TOYS WIT MY BRODER JONATON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON WANA WEDDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


TEEMO SHROOM TRIGGERED
TEEMO SHROOM TRIGGERED
TEEMO SHROOM TRIGGERED
TEEMO SHROOM TRIGGERED
TEEMO SHROOM TRIGGERED


Dude, that literally has nothing to do with the Battle of Hastings. I don't know why you would want to fuck a horse. Do you even have an extra scarecrow?


Art thou feeling it now mr krabs


It wasn't all him. He got shoved around by everyone and lost it. Don't act like the pats were all innocent.


I've worked at a car dealership, and that probably wasn't an accident.


And you mom's a psycho.

Honestly, woman, he's a full grown man; he can buy condoms and keep them at his mistress' house!


I'm sure she knew they were taking a video of her.


https://i.imgur.com/bnWmD60.png (NSFW)


I think this is the only positive thing I've seen in this thread.


Because you and the fat OP are single lonely guys who eat a lot of frozen dinners. But that's just my guess.


We used to joke about things and play board games. We also watched the tennis on Al Jazeera sport


^ needs more upvotes.


Yeah J.J., really? Did you count?

:)


No, the counter updates instantly.  You don't need vision of an enemy player.


And Screech apparently didn't make bail.


Also, he's really bad at perspective. Or spatial continuity.


^^u ^^wot ^^m8

   ^^I ^^swer ^^on  ^^me ^^mum


Your tag should read "literally fucking stupid" Ban me too you stupid fuck.


I used to just give my kids nicknames because real names are for people who don't have a new set of classes every two weeks.


I bet you also hang around the town dump too, funny because this would be in black people twitter


You think I can't catch you? I caught the fucking gingerbread man.


~~College. Should. Be.~~

~~**sighs**~~

I looked into it and apparently English, art, and history majors have better employment rates after graduation than some respectable engineering fields. I'm guessing they are still working lower paying jobs, but I will concede when I'm wrong, and I was wrong here. I apologize.


She called me a faggot and told the bouncer to "throw that guy out" because I stole her wallet. The bouncer was standing on the patio the whole time and saw the freakout, and even the bouncer just said "He was only trying to help." and then just ignored her ranting. I went inside and never heard or saw anything of her again.


I  just someone who gets sick of the "CUTEY TUTEY HAPPY WAPPY" attitude so I downvote it. Ya I don't care what you think.


This sounds like a list of Civilization bonuses.


> I highly doubt E.T. is a Jedi. E.T. shows nothing but fear the entire film. *But* he has high medi-chlorian levels, but was never trained as a Jedi.

FTFY


You went full primal. You never go full primal.


MRA...can't help chuckling at that concept. It's like the Crossfit of social justice movements.


I like how the trailers for this movie all show him running around shooting and punching people. Just like a real hacker.


well you can start by not being an offensive and loathsome individual, and stopping saying things like "butthurt" which is a reference to rape is probably a good start on that


i'll take the one duck, but i'd love to see the tiny horses.


Suns are the laughing stock of the NBA.  How many buzzer beaters have you lost to?!!


As a Delaware native, it's safe to say that 80% of it's residents have had some kind of encounter with Joe Biden, all of which are amusing and/or adorable.

EDIT: The 20% who don't have a personal encounter with him know at least three people who have.


Yeah, lets generalize some more.


Sounds like your vagina!


Haha what is this middle school? :-P


I like ballghazi more, personally


LmAo ShuT ThE FuCK Up YoU ScRoUnGy liiiiiiiiiTlE FuCk !


As a former teenager ... fuck.


Sucky sucky, five dorrah! Me ruv you rong time!
Who says it can never work out with a Vietnamese whore?

(edited to take into account the insight of 'with_the_quickness'.)


They actually moved the stage back fifteen yards.


You're fucking stupid for not telling your teacher. I don't feel bad for you at all.


I agree- fuck you Jimmy! You're the one who can't drive and your Mom is waiting on the phone to help your ungrateful ass!


You kind of open yourself up to it when you post things on the internet.


Many people in my neighborhood solved that problem years ago. They just leave the shit on the ground.


"Why the size obsession, these are perfect boobs."*

*If you're a pedophile.


>9 line long sob story title

>picture of a dog sitting down


I'd pat him on the back while saying it if I could...


that's what lakes are for.... so you can come up for air or just visit.


That's pretty offensive.


Is this the end? I demand to know more.


as expected, we're all being downvoted..

uh oh..


"Thank you for making a collect call. From whom is this call being made?"

"Hey mom pick me up at school"


well www.bootike.com isn't just bodyboarding... but yeah i'll stop it.


It is very popular. It is also bullshit.


Ditto, haven't touched a needle since 2001.  BTW I quit on my own.  It was easy since I relocated myself across country to a place where my drug of choice(meth) was almost non-existent.


To be fair, Himmler was a very capable leader. It's not a black-and-white situation here.


If she can't figure out internet, email, browsers, login names and passwords, or wireless internet, I'm pretty sure inkjet printers are black magic to her.


Gotcha - at your request.


Holy shit my mom has this exact haircut. It all makes sense now!


I haven't seen data on fidelity, but a woman's number of sexual partners is very strongly correlated with the chance of marital disruption.  This isn't new, shocking information either.


He goes to WVU. So yes.


Also you must be fucking retarded.


He already has his horse ready, and apparently nothing around to stop him.


Like I give a fuck. I hate Jason Terry and don't care about losing imaginary internet points over voicing an opinion.


Maybe he's very immature and bad at math for a 26yr old?


excuse me, but how am I getting downvotes for that post. this is the dumbest thread, and i'm calling out kimme for it.


I come and go, apparently.


It's a good thing he didn't go left either.

edit: Butthurt liberals, so hypocritical. Why can the OP say good thing he didn't go right, but when I say it, you guys flip shit.
edit 2: Not deleting my post. Downvote me all you want. :D


*Hayawanabeuponatable!*


Or maybe you are too jewish to pony up the money for some decent hardware? Hmmmm, I wonder which one it is?


Nice try, Stephen Colbert.


Inter-racial marriage isn't about the rights of "others." That one hits *everyone* allowed to marry.

Fact remains, it's not that big of a deal.


That means it happened 8 times!


Hey you put that back! It wasn't yours to take! I'm the one that found it.


I think we have become the overly attached ones here.


Meh. I have a twisted sense of humor.


In this regard, you are my complete opposite.  You sound like GGG


>I wouldnt want to indirectly put their jobs in jeopardy

Why not?  I would.


Well they're just hiring famous names nowadays, instead of decent people. I mean fucking Britney Spears? Bitch should be honored that anyone pays attention to her anymore.


Christ, do you think I actually care? I am banned from SRS. I have no intentions of anyone attacking r/gaymers. However, /r/gaymers (from what I have seen) is a cesspool of white gay men talking about anything but video games or homosexuality and it's just the worst thing.

Also, their casual racism and transphobia.


Maybe someone has Pop-Pop in the attic...


You are not thinking correctly


Best website: Bing.com/travel - the fare predictor is pure genius. Not even Delta agents have access to that information. A close second would be Skyscanner.

In general you want to book 6 weeks to 12 weeks in advance. Any earlier and the flights won't be on sale, any later and the others will have already snapped up all the low fares. Award tickets are another animal though.


That's a good idea. I didn't even up vote him...


He will know something is up when he watches the superbowl.


... why does it matter?


D.A.R.E gave out these laminated promise cards you can put in your wallet once you take the D.A.R.E oath. I don't know what they were thinking.


**FUCK** that **criminally insane guy**. *Goddammit*. Lock up *for life* for sure. Some of these **beasts** need to be locked up *patriot act style*.

Your grandpa *couldve* died that day. Youre a lucky girl.


Hell yeah that's true. Loved that character in GAMER. I have a dark side.


Kill a jew and take his stuff.

Edit: So many downvotes. Being on Reddit at this hour is like WWII. One brave American versus hordes of barbaric Europeans.


Yeah, it is untrue. How many times has the second situation gone to court?


BUT BIG DO THEY THINK


Record labels have paid BILLIONS to artists.  How much has limewire paid to them?


My mom donated most of my stuffed animals to my local ambulance.  Except for Mr. Cuddles.  Ain't no one donatin' Mr. Cuddles.

Ain't no one.


thingsthatdidnthappen.txt
You're lying.


Troy and Abed in Las Veeeegas!


He has every right. He's being chased around his car.


I did a double take on your right arm...


~~Nah... average spaniard size.. :P~~

Edit: I'm spaniard, you fools!


Flux Pavilion - Symphony No. 5 in C Minor


How is that in any way relevant to this post?


what's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

the wheelchair.


Still, my point stands.


Did you throw your panties at the screen?


This.

Edit: Reddit is full of retards through-out the day in the UK.


To play on the playground. To go up the stairs and slide down the slide. Yup.


Aww....no, no......the biggest thing he is concerned with is getting a laugh. Its a comedy show...not news.


> John Hammond ~~never pays~~ spares no expense.

FTFY


a) You do realize that the jaw is where all "slap off" contestants aim?

b) You do also realize that most don't knock anyone out?

c) You do realize that reading about hitting others online doesn't make you an expert?


I checked the sides of all of their heads for pointed ears...

Then I re-read the title.

**Eleven**. Not *Elven.*

Got it.


The cop had no reason to do that. He just felt like it. People are not allowed to "touch" anyone. Perhaps regular people should start responding like that when someone acts like that? Are there lives not worth as much as a cops?


That probably explains it.


Ah the ol reddit [switcharoo](http://www.reddit.com/r/Anarcho_Capitalism/comments/wl3iq/adam_kokesh_speech_interrupted_by_armed_thugs/c5ebeeq?context=3)

Downvotes only make me stronger


>  implying I haven't trained for this


yeah, but unfortunately is was black pussy.  which is almost worthless


I'm sure your mother thought it sounded good in her head, but when she heard herself actually say it, she immediately began to backpedal.

In any case, forget your brother, I'd choose you, mayihavesomebread.


True dat...

How about hitting me up with some karma? I'll make it worth your while...


My all-time favorite quote from that movie that made the hair on my neck stand up - "I'M NOT LOCKED IN HERE WITH YOU, *YOU'RE* LOCKED IN HERE WITH **ME**" as the guy's skin melts off in front of him. Rorschach was TOO badass.


One time when I was 16 I drank a whole 0.7 liter bottle of liqour. All in all a good night, I ended up licking one of the girls there. Not like you think, in the face. I was pretty shitfaced, I don't remmember much else, except when I sobered up my cousin tackled me when I went for a refill, so I doubt I was on my best behavior.


Well your hair is stupid


I don't normally upvote Digg powerusers, but when I do it's for making a funny joke.


That one *almost* got out!


I don't care 'cause I don't like Nic Cage.

I'll take 300 downvotes to go, please.


If you're in a situation where you get a paper cut on your dick, you've got big problems. How could that even happen? Running naked through the Hallmark store?


please he killed 2 girls. Guess because he's black it's ok though right? you don't think minors have commited atrocities in the past?


I almost dropped my burger reading this!


Had a teacher in high school with the last name Martin so it is a surname.


"Badfella24, why are you late!?"

"*I am traffic.*"


Downvoted for resorting to *Family Guy*, of all places, for ***humor***.


I tend to be more gravitated to the quality of an item than the price tag. I admit that I don't check prices and quality tends to go hand in hand with top shelf, but that is not to say that I wont buy an item just cause it's cheap.


Pretty selfish response


The Blu-ray has been out for years bruh. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ


Not me. Let him fall. I always hope he loses.


Or 16 here in the UK.


**HE'S TRYIN TO TAKE Rrr GUNS!!!!!!** First armor piercing rounds...next GUN GRAB!!


I wish I had badass friends.


And Conan is known for never making stuff up, right?

Less sarcastically, if it is real the sneaky bastard has taken it down already.


Stallone owes your dad.

Edit: Stallone owes your **friend's Dad** : )


Handsome right? I don't mind having meh face on the web, cause I am to become a celebrity. I'd like people to know what I look like.


Switch the genders and it would have been harassment or creeping though.


What the fuck are you talking about?


Agreed. It isn't fair to your other children, one of whom already needs special attention.


Fuck you pal, you weren't trying to help, you were being an ignorant douchebag


let Mr. PunchChildren help.


Not sure why you're being downvoted, have an upvote.


I refuse to make excuses. The pain of losing here will carry me to s3. Let the people around it deal with it and start getting those pitchforks for something constructive like rengar being op


Oh fuck, I did a parody of this on another account in a comment about black people and got sooo much shit for it it was unbelieveable. Sooo much fun, though.


You can get fucked in the ass and have 20 dudes cum on your face on camera at 18, but can't have a beer until 21.


Because it's not true...


I never eat jelly. It was just pointless. They just ended up getting stacked into a giant pyramid. At one point i had a count going just to see how many individual packets she gave me. 300. 300 packets of diner jelly!! The only reason she stopped giving them to me was because she died. I'm surprised she didn't leave me jelly in her will.


You poor sad individual. Stop letting your fears run your life and sort yourself out, you'll be much happier for it.


My mod hat is off, Mr Shouty, therefore I am entitled to spew the same vitriolic bullshit that you claim your entitlement to. If I recall correctly, I wasn't the one who started this argument, so fuck off with your harassment. You really think I give two shits about what you think of me?


Yes because it's easy to judge a situation by 4 lines.  You're not white-knighting at all!


Eh, good learning skills... I wish I developed those in school.
I cruised through high school easily, barely studying and getting A's. The problem starts when you take university classes like neuroanatomy. If you can't sit on your ass and study properly, shit's gonna hit the fan.


Yeah I made this post for the eden ru then someone pointed out de**liver**s...


Plot twist: *you're* the photographer!


True or not, could we try to get this comment off the top?

Edit: Second time today I have to ask, out of curiosity and because I will never ever understand Reddit: why is this comment worth close to 80 downvotes? It's a kindhearted comment.


TV show.

Wish I could say more. Hopefully in the next 48 hours or so we have something more to say.

And Pit-Pat, unfortunately, was kidnapped by Boko Haram. We're in the process of trying to negotiate its release.


Go troll somewhere else.


So they're lined up to bathe in a holy river that is the also the porta-potty for millions of pilgrims? Holy shit.


"allegedly raped". People do some fucked up shit. Lying about rape really isn't that far-fetched.

Damn, Reddit loves vigilante justice.


big "T" on his chest.. and guess what's in his utility belt!


That's attractive? Reddit has low standards.

Edit: where are the white knights?


You are running around 140 karma points per character.  this has to be approaching a record.

e: so much more


Okay, I'm not going to lead you on anymore; I'm not going to tell it.  Downmod, if you like, but I'm going to have to be prudent here.  Sorry.


That sneaky bastard.


Nah, I just like shit that's actually funny.


No I mentioned the Falafel.


i love how ridiculously tightly cropped these images are, it's like you're literally terrified of even the concept of context

anyway, kill whitey


Mid-poop boner. What am I supposed to do now? Thanks a lot


Someone being reasonable? On Reddit? In **/r/Atheism**?


Wow, Leonardo DiCaprio snubbed again


No, 4chan does not hate that.  4chan hates people.  Just don't make yourself stand out and 4chan won't fuck your life up.


And that's how black holes get created.


I'm not crying saying "Fuck the 49ers".  It is time for you to get over it too.  Your team lost because they weren't as good that day and for no other reason.


Oh, so he offloaded it to the GPU. Clever.


le epic meme, bro, great post.


>Seen

Are you mocking them?


Down voted because you clearly only see people as sex objects to be used and then discarded at your convenience. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that this is what happens when you grow up in front of a computer screen. Reddit makes me so sick.


I don't understand why people think this is so extraordinary. Cops hired for events are specifically told to maintain order, not to actively arrest people.

Has anyone in this thread ever tailgated a football game or even gone to a concert?


I would, last one I bought was $100. I suggest you raise your price to $50.


> "Well, I know, but I just…don't eat food that was once raw."

She must be pretty damn hungry by now.


Waaaah I need an incentive to play a game. Waaah I'm 12 years old I need mah cosmetics.


Some of us are hiding out on reddit.


Or maybe he didn't mean to put it in the hole in the first place? It's possible that in the heat of the moment, you're so excited that you accidentally put it there.

edit

Quick! Down-vote me because I have a rational idea of what could of happened!


Aww..that's sad, here I'll fap to you right now, I'm always down for a charity fap.


So you just posted about an incident that happened 2 1/2 months ago?


Doesn't matter; humped shit.


Rockets won't make it to the finals so it'll have to be next season.


Double barreled, no less.


You have obviously never read the Koran.

http://www.prophetofdoom.net


BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL


I am OP of this post.  I found it on 9gag.  I can assure you, I did not find it on Twitter.


It's only appropriate if you write "NO LOVE DEEP WEB" on it in sharpie


If only you knew a thing or two about business...

*Guys stop down voting me, you're taking away all my points.


And I'm not fat either, I'm horizontally gifted!


Google that shit. I dare you. I assure you that I do, in fact, know her. Not that it has anything to do with the post...


I thought that said "I don't date Turians" and almost got my jimmies rustled over space racism


>He was aware, but it took him 2 weeks to notice.

So he knew about it but wasn't able to notice it for 2 weeks? How? If he was aware why did he wait 2 weeks?


This is the first time I've seen someone essentially say "Bing it" and not be saying it sarcastically.


They sent it to him to let him know they used the sample. It's not like they were trying to get away with not giving the credit.

The response when he offered to give a better sample was stupid and it wasn't even Kanye who said that.


You're San Diego?

AMA please?


Read the article.  It's about stalking.  That quote was never even said.


I think most people are just peeved that Scumbag Steve just pulled off the best application of his own meme.


Sorry man... I'm an opinionated asshole...but I'm not a cunt.


After a while, it started to look like OPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPEN and I wondered why you would want to open that door.

EDIT: Typo. Sorry, Reddit.


I was typing the exact same thing. Upvote for you, good sir.


I'm and the Dave's letter.


Library does not equal instruction but if you really want to talk let's take it to the other thread. No reason to mess up this shrine to my excellence with anything other than the devotion already here :)


"You don't have a place to live?  Where do you sit in the dark and wait patiently for the next day to start?  I mean, sleep?"


I have no idea what you're talking about, New Vegas is the sequel to Fallout 2, and there was nothing in between.
Edit : really? hardcore **fallout 3** fans downvotes? It was a good exploration game, but it is no more what I consider a "fallout" game than brotherhood of steel was.


WHY DIDN'T I SEE THIS EARLIER


Girls don't ejaculate. Fact.


That's a good way of getting stupid people to reboot things occasionally.


That's not the full story though is it. The majority of these states suffered unrest and a Western backed overthrow of the governments before 'choosing' to turn to the west.


Actually, it was Aaron that had his rod turned into a snake, not Moses. I just corrected Ken Jennings. My life is complete.


Black power is right? Wow....


It's awesome to see the steam rise off the stream.


Drake the type of nigga to do something out of the ordinary.


We've been thinking we'd hit non-reducible barriers for a number of years.  Every time we get near them we have some new breakthrough.  It's possible that at some point we'll hit a hard barrier but I wouldn't say we can see where that will be yet.


in point of fact, Assange is not a journalist nor does he exercise "actual journalism." he's a self-aggrandizing egoist with no interest in impartiality or understanding of context.

I agree that the work wikileaks does is important, but call a spade a spade.

edit:
ah, the hive mind at work. sorry to insult your gods


WHAT HAPPENED TO ME NEXT?


He used to be mad, but then he took an arrow to the knee!


What if the PIN is a palindrome?


My fist would be an amazing fit for your FACE.

Jk ;*


Thanks for signing up for Bird Facts! You will now receive fun daily facts about BIRDS! >o<


it's so not funny, though.


Really, really shitty looking weed, by the way.


It's not because of the team, it's because your fans fucking suck.


All I know is my gut says maybe


Lol, actual feminism works to eradicate gender norms that negatively affect both men AND women. You must be thinking of the first wave.


i see myself better at the offlane because i have almost perfect understanding of the game and i'm mechanically imbalanced, so i leave the mid to the weaker players like mushi and super... heh heh


u wot m8. How would I try being ironic with that post? I guess you are an 'actual idiot'


I realise you are probably describing you location at the time, but I secretly hope that is a euphemism for you ass.


Your judgement is your own.


Directed by M. Night Shameonyouforwantingtoeatalone.


How? By asking for ID?


lord master king is way better than me


Yet another highly valuable contribution to society, thanks black culture... we'll keep that with the rest of the gifts like drug use, rampant crime, laziness, welfare fraud, degrading women, absentee fathers, etc.

Thanks black culture for all your wonderful societal contributions!


So this was all an elaborate scheme by the OP to get someone to do his homework.


Actually no. Most people speak Chinese. you may think that most people speak English because it seems to be an international language and so on but no... chinese. You should start larning it so you're prepared when they take over the world.


I live/go to school in NY in the states


please explain to me how rephrasing what someone said in an intentionally over the top matter to mock their terrible opinion is a "strawman"

it seems like you have as good of a grasp on this as you do of the concept of neutrality, which is part of the reason why subredditdrama is a terrible shithole of a subreddit


A dozen roses

My favorite customer

Hi doggy. Goodbye!


At least I've never tried to "build" on another's joke with a shitty joke of my own.


Nah. As a person who is 27, I can attest that pretty much everyone I know is dropping babies just constantly.


I see the general intelligence of reddit is decreasing. Although, to be fair I'm probably not helping it too much either.


Or she's really into Nietzsche.


I agree with you to some extent, but if you are stupid enough to break city ordinances and get called out on it you deserve everything that comes your way. Honestly the guy who built the house sounds like kind of a prick. Fairly childish to retaliate when you are so obviously in the wrong.


I hope so! I used to work for Apple so I am used to making an idiot of myself in front of customers.


GOO GOO MOMMY WAT ID DA APETOL SCIENCE HANHEWD POTOL DEVICE?????????????? I GOT BWALLS OF STEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I can't do anything like that because none of my immediate family is dead. I would say " ill be speaking to my great great uncle soon"

Mom: WTF?


>Black Swan

That's what my bitches call my dick. Because it's curved like a swan's neck elegant yet brutal. It's like watching Swan Lake with a twist (of my dick )


Jesus, were you dating Newt Gingrich?


I'M HAVING A GREAT DAY, AND I HOPE YOU DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT. TAKE CARE!


downvoted so the girl i use this on won't have seen it on reddit


oh god your sarcasm sensor is broken aswell


>packed up my shit

lol


Im not at all. If I ever met him I'd shake his hand and thank him for what he has done for the victims and their families. I'm simply stating that people are focusing on him more so than the victims.


Follow it up with a history degree and the two will merge together at some point in the future.


Good thing i could give two shits about karma. Also, I did not want to edit the captions that my friend used for this pic on facebook, because like I said, I could give two shits about karma.


1. Open the door

2. Pants on the floor

3. Everybody walk the dinosaur.


"Manager" does not immediately imply "Manager of People".  Have you not worked with a Facilities Manager?  Here's a generic [job description](http://www.thejobexplorer.com/Job_Description/Facilities/Facilities_Manager_I.html) of one.


Tittyfucking is the most romantic because you are closer to her heart.


Those aren't being used to fire rockets at Israeli towns.


Alienware? Is that you?


So do you think every other country in the world is stupid and the USA is the sole clearheaded perspective?


Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJU-JKFPsTo

The lead developer called it [too colorful](https://twitter.com/gustavhalling/status/253005004288446464) and hinted anyone using it would be perma banned. Glad I didn't buy this game, can't support a developer crew with such a dickhead response to mods. Smart developers understand that a healthy mod community lets your game live longer.


im sorry, and nothing personal, but fuck everythig about eastern europe


She invited you for dinner...

>**So I cook her dinner**

Wtf.


I just want some perspective here as reddit seems to have jumped on the waiters side.

These black guys were not happy with the service they received so they didn't tip, which is a perfectly fine reason not to tip and is why the system is there. I don't even think it is a contradiction with their statement, the point was they are not tipping because of service not because they are black right?


This only goes 1 of 2 paths

1. "Engineer" - commence circlejerk

2. Anything else - "ASK ME WHAT SIZE I WANT MY COFFEE HAHAHAHAHAH"


you;re still working with the soccer/football joke? welcome to 1994


He tries to kill himself- discovers he's immortal.


This is not acceptable, not here not anywhere...well except DA because that's a fucking creepy load of gender bending shota-pup-furries....so go there, not here.


Holy shit, that's me.


He could have objected to the war and not participated. Shit how fucking young are you people?


You mean there's one now?


What fucking awful music. People like that shit?


Now-a -days I can imagine someone assassinating a president with a gun that has dickbutt drawn all over it just so THAT has to be in a museum somewhere.


lmao man you don't know shit. you're not even wort arguing


I'd say $17,000 is a small price to pay to be a pirate for a week.


Roses are red

Violets are blue

I have a gun

Get in the van.


hahahaha, nobody knew it was Toby.  Everyone knew I smoked butts on the set though.  I used to make the PA who drove me to work give me cigs and blast superchunk.  He later became the Editor for SPIN magazine.


not deep since the point is explicitly implied: (circa 1999)


Dredd has no romance.

Sure Dredd gets a young blonde girl as his new partner, but there's zero hint of any sort of romantic subplot.


I think your joke was stupid. It's like you custom-tailored it for the /r/atheism audience.


Cops have no place schools. They just cause owe to be pussies. Everybody needs to get their shit kicked in once or twice.


I like to float on my back with an erection in the air and hum the jaws theme


Yes it was a physical copy so I had to scan it to post it. Im happy your enjoying yourself and going through other posts of mine to downvote and add nasty comments to them.


> our last Justice Minister had written an erotic novel.

/r/justiceporn?


the occasional software release is a real pain in the ass. http://bit.ly/9HV1KB


The old people that go to my local ruby's would love that joke.


can I join with hacked client or it's for premium members only?


I just double clicked your upvote arrow, then clicked it a third time for making my gullible ass giggle.


It's basically voluntary prostitution.


Oh god "Why are you asleep, it's noon?" No, it's midnight for me, noon for you.


Dewie sucks and is dum.

*there's this many little kids on this site?


> The good news is... you're going to live. The bad news is he is going to kill you

Seriously my sides


U DID THE FUK UR SHIT ASS GRRR HURR HURR LOL U FUCK GAY FUCK SHIT Y U EXISSSTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U R WRONG BOUT EVRYTHINGAH I REED UR COOMMINTRZ ND U R FUCKN GAY DUM SHIT FAG Y U EVEN HEREEEEEU FUCKNN HOONMOSLUT I HOPE EVERY COW RAPE U!!!!!!!! FUK U!!! UPVOTE ME!


And sometimes they love you more than you love them, and that really sucks too


Wow, do you live on an ancient Indian burial ground? Or in the waste storage room of a nuclear power plant? What's with the multiple tards?


100% Dad Joke material there.


its not rape if they liked it

edit: didnt realize we had so many nsync fans on reddit, i apologize


I'm sure that relationship went swimmingly.


I think he used to have a therapist. I'm not sure, we've only been dating for a month. I am willing to see past a lot of things for love, but I just wish I could somehow fix this problem.


Your edit was the most beautiful thing I've read all day. In a depressing thread, I'm so glad for your redemption with your brother.


actually its not a very nice thing to say imagine if you recieved a reply that was laced with sarcasm like OPs title and your comment in which you stupidly repeated the title ***WE ALREADY READ IT ONCE WE DONT NEED TO READ IT AGAIN YOU ARE WORSE THAN YOUTUBE COMMENTS GIVING AWAY THE PUNCHLINE OF ALL THE VIDEOS***

**UPVOTE IF YOU AGREE WITH ME**


Just chuckled to myself imagining a field of archers with the infantry 100 feet in front of them and cavalry all around and there's one guy going, "NO I SAID WE GIVE UP! THAT GUY SHOT MY ARROW WITH HIS ARROW! CALL IT OFF! LET'S GO HOME!"


You're not funny, fuck off to digg "logan"


We don't want to overfish our waters!


Nice body? She fat as fucc.


SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN SWEDEN

Edit* What's with this racist bullshit below this you guys are upvoting?  The fuck is wrong with you?


I used to be older than the internet, but then I took an arrow to the knee!


I was taught that condoms were completely ineffective when it came to preventing the spread of HIV, since the virus was many times smaller than the pores of a condom.

In Georgia. In public school. In 2000.

Needless to say, many of my friends have kids.


Only too bad it had been done and posted here before.


Few things sound cooler than "planetary protection guidelines."


how about the fact that the self proclaimed pokemon master is about to throw a voltorb.


WHY IS THE GOOGLE LOGO CLOSED?

TELL US WHY THEY'RE CLOSED


I've never before seen a submission where every single comment is in negative points, except for the submission itself, and a comment pointing that fact out.


I could give a shit about reposts, but that was amazing.


I disagree. The meter doesn't match.


I've played fire emblem, neither is 99%


youre only getting downvoted because the majority of people think youre making some retarded joke, rather than pointing out its the badly translated title most places :)


It's disgusting how even the most 'reasonable' protesters are saying that they are protesting because there should be 'limitations on free speech', but apparently death threats don't fall under that banner.  It's not just a question of whether or not the protesters are peaceful or not, their position is itself a moral depravity.


Or spent her childhood playing outside and reading books...

Jeebus people, not everyone played video games as children.

EDIT: not understanding why I'm getting downvoted because my parents flat-out refused to buy me video games as a child (inb4, I had plenty of computer games)

EDIT2: It's a really blurry photo, I did not see the "Super Nintendo" on the controller.  Also, fuck you guys.


Coins, documents, newspapers, and a metal plate owned by Revere.


Except that Inglorious Bastards is probably one of the worst, most nonintellectual movies out there.  How could such a brilliant director be so delusional about how Hitler *actually* died?


That is such a shitty thing to do. I fucking hate people who try to embarrass or humiliate others. It's one of the only things that makes me want to start punching faces.


OH SHIT I MISSPELLED IT. Thanks for pointing it out. INTERNET. HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL.


Also, buy transparent uniforms so they ...errr... match?


I don't think LaZ3R can read. I mean he's a laser.


That teacher is the best.


its the job of the website admin not the programmer to make sure everything is secure its not his fault idiot are using his system.


I used to masturbate in class all the time.  I would just discreetly push a pen against my clit through my pants.  It wasn't enough stimulation to come, but I would get myself all worked up then excuse myself to the bathroom. There I would fuck myself quickly to completion and then come back to class.


Probably not.  The judicial system in this country is controlled by Republicans, and they hate children.


Wow man I guess that makes you a real pain in the ass


Don't give a ahit about karma so I'm going to say it anyway. She looks dumb as hell. See you in hell bitches.


I met my SO in kindergarten too.  Man do I get dirty looks when I get out of my car to pick her up.


> Whilst the largest flares

Seriously.  This is 2012.  There is absolutely no reason to use the word "whilst" in common speech.

"While the largest flares..."  makes just as much sense and doesn't make you look like you're intentionally inflating your speech like a douche.  It is not "fancy" or make you look anymore intelligent.  Downvoted.


> Needless to say this is Michigan and he went barefoot even in the snow.

Neither of those things qualify as needless to say.


I too found this moderately difficult to masturbate to.


doesn't matter; got monkey


Except it really is. Pi isn't a *particular number* that just happens to have a name. It's a geometric property.


"The marriage didn't last long - only 58 years, 7 months, and 14 days. "

Sir. You have no idea how much I respect that boast.


As they shouldn't.  I'm just warning you.  Wouldn't want to be labeled as a racist.


Right? Gimme a damn Condom and let's play some roulette.


the difference between puke and shit

Edit:  Apparently the armchair activists of this subreddit can't take an ironic joke for what is is so... BRING ON THOSE DOWNVOTES THE CAPTAIN ALWAYS GOES DOWN WITH HIS SHIP


It was hilarious. The teacher just looked at her like "wtf." Then she calls on the next kid to do his presentation over Mars and he explained that there simply wasn't any information over Mars. The teacher went fucking ape shit on him. One of the funniest things I've ever witnessed.


Yeah right, that guy is totally *beta*. He's not going to hurt anyone, he's just going to sit there and take it.

*edit: it appears I struck a nerve. I'm sorry you were bullied growing up, reddit. And seeing how we're talking about past events, was I wrong? Did Billy finally stand up to the Green Ranger? Oh no, he just quit like a little bitch. Fucking textbook beta*


The Way is the best film I've ever done in my life and the most rewarding thanks to my son Emilio who wrote it for me and directed it as well. He was quite brilliant and I am eternally grateful.


crit is not a level 2 spike

Edit: o..how did i not c that sry boys i failed u


July 20th, the day every Redditor went outside.


Good teams win. Kings havent done that


Ugh... Brb writing this novel.


omg no the shovanists jus wunt u 2 beleeve that! women nevar do things like dis!


-- Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.


Is the 94 at the end of your username your year of birth? This would not be a surprise. Actually, one could argue that it is surprising that you are not younger.


How about we dont ban words because thats fucking stupid.


Haha... ehh...

hrrmpphh


Conduct them with your hands.


Meme Face makes the most blatant, obvious, literal reference to sex funny amirite?


Followed by...

"Mom, Dad, I'm trying to do the best I can in school, but the administration's policies are preventing me from bringing what I need every day. And now the teacher is going to give me a bad grade because of it."

Repeat a few dozen times across multiple households, and you do not want to be that school's principal the next day.


> [Don't bother to respond with anything else](http://i.imgur.com/eWRQ9.png)


Not to mention a quick death so I wouldn't be an emotional and financial burden on my family.


Moving does not equal exercising.


I had sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom.


Then fuck him, that's not a good play by any means. He committed a foul, missed the tackle, and gave him a concussion. You definitely don't get a point for that.


Oh god, I grew up in rural Wisconsin, and my dumbass high school classmates would drive drunk every weekend. I say classmates because they were no longer my friends when I found out they did.

Anyway, it only took one of them to die behind the wheel while drunk for them to stop. It's a shame, too, it shouldn't have taken a tragedy like that for them to learn their lesson.


I used to be sure OP would deliver, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


I've tried but they don't budge. They just use the excuse that because they're the adults they know what they're talking about.

It's kinda funny how sure they are that this guy is deadbeat. Here they are thinking that he's gonna snap one day, and he's in his house feeding apple sauce to his incapacitated dad.


....do you know what subreddit you are on?


You are probably too old, but the priest might make an exception.


Hey, just a heads up - your virgin is showing.


I'm so sick of Facebook.

Pretty much all my "friends" from high school now have kids and there are far too many posts about how there's no such thing as a leak proof diaper and how they're up to their elbows in shit everyday.


you grow out of that.


Well, after he hurt his arm, and his mother noticed he was frustrated all the time, she asked her husband if they could do something about it...


if they were really your friends, you should show them how much better PC gaming is


Cell bill is due tomorrow, eh?


Its a bug with gnar because he can cast his boomerang in the air from his e, and the boomerang projectile is cast "above" everything. Either they need to make it still hit everything, or stop boomerang from being cast mid air.


And I said HEEYYEEYYEEYYEEYYAAYY HEEYYYEEYYYEEYY


well, that's even more cringey - Yikes!


You sure it wasn't just a large Mexican with an over-active eyebrow?


:'(

^^I'm ^^not ^^a ^^faggot...


I'm not really sure what's going on here. I've never seen so much gold in one thread. Either someone lost a credit card or people are just passing the gold around for fun at this point.

Edit: I don't even know what I'm supposed to do with 1 month of reddit gold...Thank you though!


no usually its niggers lol

upvote if your not a faggot that gets offended!!!


Chinese here. I can confirm this

Edit: my highest voted comment.. now everybody knows im chinese


You don't know whether or not calling them out is necessary. Stop speaking out of your ass.

If this post work, it works. If not calling them out might be necessary, when you don't know, wait and see.


"Excuse me, where's the library at?"
"Here at Harvard, we don't end sentences with prepositions."
"OK, where's the library at, asshole?"


You could also say you are complete moron with your head up your ass.


That is fucking disgusting.


What, you've never heard that one before?


Of course he did. He was licking it because he thought it tasted like sake.


Okay- are you even an r/music-er? It seems as if the troll army has been called in for this "battle". Only, here's the catch: I don't give a shit.


OMG they're here everyone scatter!!!!


I hope they get bombed and murdered. Why do they still torment and provoke the Muslims? They deserve whatever they have coming to them.


In his defense, he did stop after that.


SC2 sucks. More squatz 'n' oatz pls...


how do you even hold a conversation without followup questions? O.o

A: So where did you go to school?

B: Oh! I went to NYU. It was great!

A: HOW ARE THE MASHED POTATOES

B: Uh, they're pretty good, a little too garlicy for my tastes..

A: SO WHO ARE YOU VOTING FOR?!

And then death.


Hey bro if u don't like it then y dont u just move on. their r ppl who are gonna use megusta maybe not the way your intented but that's how it goez.

`(cancer will find a way)`


op is leaving cliffhangers to make his story separated into several comments, earning him more karma. He is a karma chameleon.


What is this blasphemy


But what about the cancer risk?  The sun has been conclusively proven to cause skin cancer; do we want to endorse this dangerous power source?  Cancer kills hundreds of thousands of children each year.

Who will think of the children?


Honestly I think that's too harsh, I don't think what we do when we're young and in this sort of environment should ruin our entire lives. Honestly I'm pretty sure all of us have at some point said something that if recorded could ruin our lives.


Or at the very least, "I'm trying to give it up"


This does

edit: niggers


You forgot [this one](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tWEstCLqpRo/UGb_Qyk-MGI/AAAAAAAAVks/WZAO-vAAAtc/s1600/6a00d8341c730253ef017d3c5ffb1b970c-500wi.jpeg)


you have lots of karma for 2 months and 14 days...me jelly


I know, I really missed out as a teenager.


Sure, try to look all high and mighty with your 720p.


2012 isn't a myth. We are actually well into it. It's now August 2012, and will soon be September. You just need to replace you calendar from last year.


Not if you are any good in bed. I mention sex and shit gets real. All these guys complaining that your woman doesnt ever want it, here's a pointer.

She's not happy with you sexually.


>82 points

>11 minutes ago

You're gonna go far, kid.


Captain obvious over here.


Actually when someone bangs on your wall it means they would like to enter. You need to inform them that there is no door there and they must go around


If u were good w/ photoshop, you would photoshop ur face to become more attractive because I hacked u an you look ugly. Enjoy the trojans and ddos

**EDIT : DOWNVOTE ?! I'M GONNA HACK U ALL !!!!**


I don't think you can get pregnant from drinking it.


It is okay man. Im gonna keep my chin up. Alot of karma was lost from our conversation.


as if there's etiquette for shitting in condoms.


That is the fucking stupidest godamned thing I've ever seen in my lilfe


I imagine a lot of them are people trying to search HP error codes. I searched one before and go no results.


You're too young to understand.


Robert and Neil are both even funnier off-screen than on.  Funnier, in fact, than me.  I hate Robert and Neil.

Yes, the original cast will be back for Dr H 2, but Penny will be... um... I don't want to say "decomposing"...


And if he was arguing something you disagreed with, you'd be saying exactly this:

"Anybody can call themselves a PhD on the internet. How is this even relevant!?"

Yes. You are a hypocrite. You and everybody who upvoted this.

Trust me, I'm a PhD too.


My boyfriend has the cutest penis ever. I want to put googley eyes on it. But apparently that's weird.


The Jaime PoVs dont even START until book 3..


i'm petty enough to help do this :)


"How about fuck you.  Give me upvotes."  - OP

Edit:  said this before he explained anything.


>Every day is cake day, **Dr.** Tyson.


Fucking whores with cancer deserve to fucking suffer.

Eugenics 2012


I love this new Microsoft.


I really hate it when people can't use hyperlinks properly, and link half a word to the image. It fucks up RES's display of your sentence. In the future, do it properly, like this:

>[Here's](http://giant.gfycat.com/SleepyThisGreendarnerdragonfly.gif)


Just to add to this. Saline is usually 0.9% sodium chloride in water whereas 'salt water' from the ocean is on average, approximately 3.5% NaCl in water.

Edit: NaCl2 to NaCl. My mistake. Thanks to those that corrected me!


Nerd alert. Go back to your mom's basement, nerd.


Find a girl that likes DP and you're *in*!


Im special, i've been a Redditor for many moons, likewise, I've donated $600 dollars to reddit and you have audacity to downvote me? Do you not know I am above the downvote system on account of my service to the community? Friends, today we challenge the system! We WILL get them to repeal my downvote! Viva la revolution!


Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Sheep can hear zippers.


This is why I just can't stand Diablo 3. Everything is a fucking joke in the game. The original was ultra-serious, somber, and filled with dread, and this is just a fucking joke. They just took a giant shit on the entire series with this game.


be sure to get in touch with the family and inform them, volunteer to witness against the scumbags.


lol shut up. The xbox has been reliable for the last two years.

EDIT: Lots of downvoting Romans in here


This just added a whole other dimension to [Sudden Clarity Clarence](http://i.imgur.com/CJeDv.png)


IE is good though.

Could have been Bing + Firefox.


Domesticated penises are much more docile and will rarely stare back at you.


really no one comments on the obvious pun? they must be living Down Under a rock.

Edit* holy poop, thats what i get for seeing something too early. well, -71, thats a new record.


People get uptight about kidnappings.  The girl in my basement still won't stop bitching about it


This is such an American opinion. Yeah, fat adds flavour. That does not mean more fat = better. I swear, some of you guys would eat a stick of butter by itself.


Hush, we're pretending.


Maybe you shouldn't beat people up for stealing your lunch money?


Careful, if you get it started, it'll turn into a vagina monologue.


Can you fuck around with a car or something? Is it complete, like exactly like in gta v?


My wife and kid are right next to me also...right now her boobs win.


You should've been on good terms with everyone. Then your sister wouldn't have wanted to cause trouble for you.


should have said your penis was the new pope


I'm not.  They violated law. He didn't.


The best part of those was when you were rapidly spinning the scooter around while holding the steer and then hit your shins by accident.


Because you are a thief.


This... actually seems really feasible. My first thought was criminal, but I buy this way more.


I'm just saying have some mercy. She is just gonna die alone in there.


Can someone convert that to freedom units?


> They're just shady as fuck, the faster the fall, the faster we stop talking about them.

Maybe you are referring to the NE Patriots. CM made one bad business choice and now you feel anonymous should DDOS them.


Unfair advantage lol. Guns.


When I see someone with an iphone I think "tool" immediately.


No proof. I hate people that post fake stuff. How could two colors make one?


Sucks for whoever's fucking her.


You should be titled: "A big try-hard whiner who should go soak their head in a lake."

EDIT: u mad


U ppl and ur downvotes. Get off your high horse and onto the joke horse. Quit taking every single post so seriously


I love those.

But that was shit.


You obviously take this more seriously than i do, all i did was sharing my love for a game company that helped shape who i am today with the games they produced

and really you dared using the word ''shameless'' as in someone really should be feel shame for posting something? go get yourself checked you're clearly not sane and take Reddit way too seriously


I can only imagine the family meeting that went into planning that trip.

Step 1) Obtain Skis
Step 2) Enter Canada
Step 3) Ski.


You honestly don't know where Egypt is?  That's sad


I like my women like I like my antivirus.
Not constantly asking me for money.


People are icky, if guys could use looks for karma they would and for me personally it as more that her attempts work on the ents rather than karma (mainly because it's not about the karma)


I believe he also lost his job?


yea today it was like "yep" i stomp lane hard i hear from my mom "yea the tv sucks again your inet will go down soon" i dropped my inears told ppl in ts that the usual shit was going on again and hit the desc with my mighty power (fist) pretty hard. i wasnt raging at my teammates (friends&randoms) neither (ok a bit) at my enemies who got this free win due to that shit ^^


No idea but I'm guessing it was more of a scare tactic to keep her from doing anything.


So, I clicked on **le** link without really THINKING about it and then BALLS!


Seriously, Smosh is the fucking worst. Every single one of them needs a punch in the nose.


**Hey OP**

You're post is fake and gay.

*Move along every1, downvote him and move along he is a fake carma hore*


Tell your boss to fuck off with the video streaming via satellite internet. Do work, read reddit, maybe browse imgur links on reddit.

But video streaming? Come on man, there's limited bandwidth up there and sometimes some of us have to get work done and waiting 5 minutes to sync with exchange is a real ball buster.


I'm still waiting for the Australia jokes here.


Water. In case they are thirsty.


=)

Swearing on the Internet makes my dick hard.  And in seriousness, has telling someone to calm down ever worked for you?


Don't forget to post the story on facebook and then tell 50 of your closest friends about how that nasty woman hit on you!


no one at brown would date her cuz no one at brown fucks girls. i'd bury my whooziwatzit so far down her throat it it'd come flying out her ass at anyone with the balls to say she ain't shit.
now it's time for the pants off dance off...http://i.imgur.com/sImQj.gif


But aren't traffic circles generally better for the flow of traffic than traffic lights?


I bet I could get more points for this comment.


Heretofore I will refer to blackout drunk as "reaching the event horizon"


No its not. Not even close.

EDIT: I don't understand the downvotes.  How is made up money....money?  I would much rather have $10,000 in my PayPal account (that I can do whatever the hell I want with) than $10,000 'worth' of Bitcoin in a wallet .  Am I missing something here?


Ugh stop! I have a phobia of toilets 😁😭


Dear Cairo Gropers:

Stop acting like a pack of starving fucking dogs that has been tossed a hamburger every time you see a woman without a veil on. Idiots.

Sincerely,
Mr. More Common Sense


I don't go to parties, as I find them pretentious and quite lame.


Soap.  Pee hole.  Regret.  Verified.


Yeah, really.  Someone getting seriously injured over a mailbox.  Doesn't matter at all.  It was their fault anyway, right?

That shit can change a person's life.  30 Bucks for a new mailbox isn't going to fuck you over.


If this is somewhere without adults constantly hawking over them, it looks like a veritable paradise.


Where did you get that? Learn to read, shithead. I am fucking tired of having to explain things to people over and over and STILL having some dipshit who can't read put words in my mouth.

> You just don't get to say "my job is worse than yours" when you volunteered for it.

That excludes civilians too. Fuck, that excludes just about everything except slaves. FUCK YOU.


Doesn't explain the shockingly low number, though. There should technically be none.


>"You called me a shit stain for making fun of other people, so you're the real shit stain! checkmate"

SRD literally exists to make fun of people, regardless of whether they were making fun of other people or happened to get upset about something or an entire collection of justifiable behaviors that don't warrant whichever subset of 163,271 people snickering about it behind their backs.


Yeah, and he was huge.


Actually I am a mum, he's 3 and no you can't watch them all the time, that's why I choose to PLAY with him instead rather than sitting on the computer leaving him to do whatever elsewhere in the house


Yeah, I can see where you're coming from.