Title: From Loss to Love | Psychology Today
Headings: From Loss to Love
From Loss to Love
The pain of loss is unavoidable, yet millions harm themselves trying to escape it. But loss has a sweet side, and when you open yourself to the pain, you open yourself to joy.
The Ubiquity of Loss
Pain Mishandled: The Feedback Loop from Hell
Mental Flexibility: The Path to Healing
Handling a Death vs Honoring a Life
How to Deal With the Pain of Loss
1: Acknowledge loss.
2: Embrace feelings of loss.
3: Expand your scope of vision.
4: Prepare to be overwhelmed.
5: Watch out for unhelpful thoughts.
6: Connect with what matters.
7: Take committed action.

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When a loved one dies, the loss follows you from room to room, moment to moment. It is both permanent and ever present. Although we know that loss is not going away, there are those eons of human practice in trying to avoid pain. We foolishly engage that inheritance even with the loss of those we love. We may try not to think of the death or distract ourselves with other tasks— hoping against hope that thinking of something else will diminish the pain. We may directly try to suppress a sense of sadness. We avoid thinking of sweet moments with the loved one, lured into suppression of our memory by the deceptively soothing short-term effect. We may pretend the loss did not occur or deny its implications—refusing to ever alter a loved one's bedroom, as if she or he will return to reclaim it. Suppression and avoidance come at a high cost—they diminish our ability to do much of anything else.