Title: Self-Esteem: Everything Parents Need to KnowThe Center for Parenting Education
Headings: What Parents Need to Know About Self-Esteem
LIBRARY OF ARTICLES::
Self-Esteem:
What Parents Need to Know About Self-Esteem
“Whether You Think You Can or You Think You Can’t….”
Basic Concepts of Self-Esteem
Self-esteem determines:
Quick Facts
Self-Esteem in Action
Some History
The Early Days
The Current View
Benefits of the Current Approach
What Parents Can Do
Provide a Positive Psychological Mirror
Become Your Child’s Secure Base
Use “Being” and “Doing” Messages
The Being Messages
The Doing Messages
Offer Praise
Effective Praise
Praise is a 3-step Process
Affirm Progress
Distinguish between Criticism and Correction
Criticism
Correction
Identify Your Children’s “Islands of Competency”
Specific ways to help children like themselves

Content: They need to be held to certain realistic standards, have expectations placed on them that they strive to meet and be held accountable for their behavior. Benefits of the Current Approach
Parents need to balance the “soft, feeling good” piece of self-esteem with this responsibility and accountability side to build character in their children. Children can learn to cope with failure and disappointment,
they can realize they can learn from their mistakes,
and they can learn to delay gratification. From meeting expectations and persevering: they will gain a belief that they can master their environment, and experience feelings of accomplishment. Through handling challenges with persistence, they will begin to see obstacles as challenges to overcome and develop into strong problem solvers. < return to top of page
What Parents Can Do
Provide a Positive Psychological Mirror
Children are not born into this world with a picture of themselves. Rather they develop an image of themselves and how valuable and lovable they are over time based upon their interactions with their primary caregiver. How you respond to their needs, to their requests, and to their attempts to grow tell your children what you think of them. Known as a “psychological mirror,” your words, tone, and actions reflect whether you see your children as being worthwhile or an annoyance and whether you see them as capable or inept.