Title: Helping Children Build a Conscience
Headings: Helping Children Build a Conscience
Helping Children Build a Conscience
When Does One's Conscience Develop?
The Process of Identification
Instruction and Training
Interactions with the Environment
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Content: but how they learn to relate to others, how they learn to operate in the world, how they learn to conduct themselves around others - all of these are developed through the process of identification with parents, especially during the earlier years between birth and 8 or 9. If you think about it, that is a very sobering idea. It means that who you are and how you relate to your child will have a profound effect not only how they form a conscience, but on how they develop overall. The statement "Do as I say, not as I do!" can never hold up. It might confuse, and certainly it does since it offers a double message, but children ultimately will do as you do. The main things to remember in regard to the process of identification is that you must spend adequate time with your child that is focused on enhancing your relationship, building good attachment, fostering a sense of belonging, and communicating love and caring. I can't emphasize this point enough. If you do not spend adequate quality time on a regular basis, you can almost predict that your child will have problems developing the capacity to empathize with others. If you ignore your child's emotional pain, they in turn will have difficulty in feeling remorse when they cause others pain.