Title: Parenting Children with Positive Reinforcement (Examples + Charts)
Headings: Parenting Children with Positive Reinforcement (Examples + Charts)
Parenting Children with Positive Reinforcement (Examples + Charts)
This Article Contains:
A Look at Parenting with Positive Reinforcement
Long-Lasting Positive Reinforcement
Growth, Development, and Self-Efficacy
Autonomy, Competence, and Relatedness
11 Examples of Positive Reinforcement at Use
Using Positive Reinforcement to Change Children’s Behavior
Frequency and Consistency
What Rewards Are Best?
Positive Reinforcement Checklists
Does it Work?
Research and Studies
What are the Benefits and Advantages?
Are There Any Dangers?
Around The World
How to Use Positive Reinforcement with Toddlers
Managing Unwanted Behavior
Shifting Focus and Planning Ahead
14 Techniques and Ideas for Parents and Their Kids
1. Create an environment that fosters good behavior.
2. Provide structure and clear limits.
3. Teach them about natural consequences.
4. Be a role model.
5. Pick your battles carefully and learn to live with mistakes.
6. Parent according to personality.
7. Be open to discussion.
8. Model emotional intelligence and show your child how you feel.
9. Follow through and keep promises, good or bad, to foster trust and cultivate mutual respect.
10. Delegate responsibility to make your child feel important.
11. Reframe toward the positive.
Techniques and Ideas for Parents and Teens
Plan ahead for difficult conversations.
Stay connected through family rituals.
Respect your child’s privacy.
Positive Reinforcement Behavior Chart (PDF)
Reward Charts
Do’s and Don’ts of Reward Charts
More Charts to Use with Toddlers
A List of Positive Reinforcement Words to Use
Appreciating:
Imagining:
Acting:
Phrases You Should Try to Avoid
1. “Not now, I’m busy”
2. “Why are you so mean to your brother?”
3. “Don’t be upset.”
4. “Why Can’t You Be More Like Your Sister?”
5. “You Should Know Better Than That!”
6. “If you do that one more time, you’re in big trouble!”
7. “Wait Till Daddy Gets Home!”
8. “Hurry Up!”
9. “Good Boy!”
Books on Positive Parenting
A Take-Home Message
References
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Content: A sense of autonomy can be supported by involving our children in setting limits and offering choices for rewards that connect to what is a meaningful and enjoyable form of recognition for our children. For that, we must be closely attuned to our children’s interests and have a good map of their emotional worlds, a worthwhile investment that supports their basic need for connection. The good life is best construed as a matrix that includes happiness, occasional sadness, a sense of purpose, playfulness, and psychological flexibility, as well autonomy, mastery, and belonging. Robert Biswas-Diener
Many respected authors on positive parenting, like Dr. Dan Siegel, suggest we should take interest in our child’s pursuits by being curious, even if at first it may not seem like something that is our cup of tea (2016). Being open-minded and suspending judgment long enough to get to know our child can be a learning opportunity both for the parent as much as the child. Finally, a child’s sense of competence can be fostered by reinforcing behaviors that speak to their strengths and can be cultivated through creating opportunities for mastery of skills and practice of perseverance and commitment. Jessica Lahey, in her wonderful book The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed, warns parents that overprotective failure-avoidant parenting style undermines competencies, independence, and academic potential and could lead to a life of anxiety (2015). Where parents do too much for their children, the children will not do much for themselves. Elbert Hubbard
Safe and overprotected children make parents feel good about themselves.