Title: 
Headings: LOSS OF THE ASSUMPTIVE WORLD— HOW WE DEAL WITH DEATH AND LOSS*
HOW
 
WE
 
DEAL
 
WITH
 
DEATH
 
AND
 
LOSS*

JOAN
 
BEDER,
 
DSW

INTRODUCTION

THE
 
NATURE
 
OF
 
ATTACHMENTS

THE
 
ASSUMPTIVE
 
WORLD

BACK
 
TO
 
MARK
 
AND
 
RUTH

ASSUMPTIVE
 
WORLD
 
VIOLATION

HOW
 
TO
 
HELP
 
WITH
 
THE
 
RELEARNING

A
 
WORD
 
ABOUT
 
HOPE

FINAL
 
WORDS
 
ABOUT
 
MARK
 
AND
 
BARBARA

REFERENCES


Content: Ensuing
depression
 
and
 
bereavement
 
followed
 
both
 
losses
 
but
 
the
 
grief
 
period
 
was
extended
 
and
 
complex. In
 
addition
 
to
 
the
 
usual
 
bereavement
 
issues
 
with
 
deaths
of
 
this
 
type—sudden
 
and
 
fracturing—each
 
of
 
these
 
two
 
people
 
experienced
 
a
violation
 
of
 
their
 
assumptive
 
world. This
 
article
 
will
 
introduce
 
(or
 
perhaps
 
reintroduce)
 
the
 
reader
 
to
 
the
 
concept
of
 
the
 
assumptive
 
world
 
as
 
it
 
relates
 
to
 
death,
 
especially
 
traumatic
 
death,
 
and
explore
 
ways
 
of
 
working
 
with
 
those
 
who
 
suffer
 
violations
 
in
 
this
 
way. And,
 
it
may
 
make
 
each
 
of
 
us
 
examine
 
our
 
assumptive
 
worlds
 
in
 
the
 
process. THE
 
NATURE
 
OF
 
ATTACHMENTS
Death,
 
in
 
most
 
instances,
 
is
 
perceived
 
by
 
those
 
who
 
grieve
 
as
 
a
 
shattering
experience. The
 
use
 
of
 
the
 
word
 
shattering
 
has
 
particular
 
meaning
 
here,
 
as
 
loss
often
 
renders
 
incomprehensible
 
many
 
aspects
 
of
 
life. If
 
we
 
have
 
loved
 
someone,
the
 
loss
 
of
 
them
 
is
 
excruciatingly
 
painful; if
 
we
 
lose
 
someone
 
with
 
whom
 
we
 
have
had
 
a
 
conflicted
 
relationship,
 
the
 
ensuing
 
loss
 
is
 
complicated
 
by
 
ambivalent
feelings; if
 
we
 
lose
 
someone
 
with
 
whom
 
we
 
have
 
had
 
angry
 
feelings
 
and
 
the
time
 
to
 
repair
 
them
 
has
 
not
 
be
 
granted,
 
then
 
loss
 
can
 
mean
 
relief
 
and
 
guilt. Loss
 
is
 
a
 
part
 
of
 
life
 
and
 
living
 
as
 
is
 
connection
 
and
 
caring.