Title: In the Abuser’s Controlling Mind - Agape Aid
Headings: In the Abuser’s Controlling Mind
In the Abuser’s Controlling Mind
Living with an abuser is a no win situation for the victim. You can’t change him.
Unpredictable Reactions
Unreasonable Expectations
Manipulation
Blaming
Redefining Situations
Making Excuses
Lying
Isolation
Success Fantasies
Assuming
Compartmentalizing
Minimizing
Vagueness
Anger
Playing Victim
Drama and Excitement
Closed Channel
Above the Rules
Power Plays
Ownership
Emotional Dependency
Self-glorification
WARNING:

Content: These methods that abusers, both male and female, use to manipulate their victims are a natural part of their personalities. All abusers are dysfunctional individuals, insecure and unable to have a relationship unless they are in complete control. A relationship with them will turn into a toxic relationship. Abusers are seldom capable of a relationship that includes real intimacy. They feel vulnerable when they are open and truthful with others. The abuser’s idea of sex is confused with this idea of power and control, and not with love and tenderness. Partners of abusers are essentially expected to be mind readers and know in advance the needs of the abusive spouse. When this doesn’t happen, the abuser feels insecure, unloved and rejected. This imagined rejection is then used to justify emotional, psychological and physical abuse. Abusers use threats to cultivate fear, anxiety and despair in their victim.