Title: How to Improve Your Self-Esteem - The Ultimate Guide
Headings: How to Improve Your Self-Esteem – The Ultimate Guide
How to Improve Your Self-Esteem – The Ultimate Guide
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem by definition is the value you’re giving to yourself.
The three pillars of self-esteem
1. Accept yourself as you are.
Ask yourself:
So, first, accept yourself as you are. You are a perfect fit for many people and many situations. Find your perfect place and expand when you feel like it, not when other people are asking you to do it.
2. You are the person who’s defining your personal image.
3. Learn to give up.
Reality check
1. If you have low self-esteem I want you to know that Your problem is not the biggest.
However, stay until the end and discover how you can change your self-esteem in positive and get to live a great and fulfilled life.
And this is my goal for this series of articles on self-esteem:
2. No matter what you lack in, you are compensating for it with something else.
I’m saying this because sometimes, we are mistaking some facts about ourselves with the causes and with the effect which is low self-esteem.
Remember:
Whatever you might lack in, you are compensating for it with something else.
14 causes and ways to overcome low self-esteem.
Even though self-esteem is the product of your mind, having low self-esteem is not your fault.
1. Traumatic experiences and events.
Situations when a traumatic experience or event can cause low self-esteem:
2. Parents or family in conflict.
3. Being unable to meet your parents standards and expectations.
4. Poor academic performance.
5. Being part of a family or group that people have a prejudice against.
6. Being different.
Celebrate what is different about you.
7. Having as role models people with low self-esteem or negative self-talk.
You can’t be different than what you learn.
8. Repeated neglect, punishment or/and abuse.
Feeling safe, protected and loved is essential for a positive mental state.
9. Being the receiving end of other people’s frustrations, stress, sadness, and dissatisfaction with their life.
10. Lack of praise, affection, interest, and feeling loved.
11. Being bullied.
Bullying can happen to anyone, at any age, and in many different environments: school, work, among friends, in the family, among neighbors.
The good news is that the society now knows that bullying is not an “innocent” character builder, but it’s a weapon that affects negatively and has the potential to destroy lives.
12. Receiving confusing messages from media and society.
Media
Society
Social media
It is like selecting the best scenes from thousands of movies and comparing them to one other single movie.
13. A negative internal dialog and self- talk.
14. Keeping the “big horrible secret” to yourself.
What secret am I talking about?
Characteristics of low self-esteem
and
how to turn your self-esteem on positive
1. Do you neglect yourself?
2. Do you doubt yourself?
Gather all the information you need on the subject you have to take a decision on and decide.
Start doubting that you are not:
Start doubting and give yourself the chance to discover who you actually are.
This world needs you!
3. Do you have low self-confidence?
Self-confidence.
Your success is giving you the self-confidence to do it again or to try similar things.
Self-confidence is not in a continuum because it depends on more than one factor. But, we actually, are doing just fine to be less confident sometimes.
Think about it!
Whatever will came your way, you will find the means to deal with it.
Your life so far is the proof.
Whatever will came your way, you will find ways to deal with it.
Are you expecting to fail because your self-esteem and self-confidence are low?
Do it anyway!
Why? Because you have compassion for them.
Have compassion for yourself as well. You are doing the best you know how at the moment in time.
4. Are you reluctant or afraid to put yourself first?
What about the times when you don’t put yourself first out of fair?
What should you do?
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean to be self-centered or selfish.
For example:
5. Are you reluctant or afraid to trust your opinion, ideas, and judgment?
Trusting your opinions, ideas, and judgment, starts with allowing yourself to feel and go with the feeling you have.
Almost everything that you beat yourself about will eventually become a self-esteem issue because you stop giving yourself the chance
6. Are you occupying your personal space?
Claim and occupy your space.
Your body posture and where you position yourself in a room has a significant effect on your self-esteem.
Low self-esteem and loneliness will make you feel unsafe:
Feeling safe comes from the people that you gathering around yourself.
So let’s see, one by one, what can you do to get out of this cycle.
Loneliness.
Plus, any relationship you have needs maintenance.
A few tips to improve your safety feelings.
Have a talk with your loved ones.
Get connected, feel safer and your self-esteem will automatically rise.
8. Are you accentuating your negative points?
All humans have good points and not too good points as well.
9. Are you overly concern about what people might think of you?
However, the harder you try to satisfy everybody the fewer people will be satisfied with you.
As long as you are doing the best you know how it should be enough for everybody around you. Those who are not satisfied with that, don’t deserve your attention and effort.
10. Do you give yourself credit and the merit of your accomplishments?
It could be hard to give yourself credit and the merit of your accomplishments if you have low self-esteem because:
11. Do you accept compliments?
A few things that might stop you to accept compliments if you have low self-esteem:
How not to receive a compliment
How to receive a compliment
Why should you accept compliments in a graceful way?
12. Are you mean to yourself but good and kind to others?
To be good and kind to other people comes mostly from your morals and values and out of the need to collaborate.
Do you believe that being good and nice to other people results in being liked, accepted and loved? I do!
If being kind, good and nice works with other people why wouldn’t work for you as well?
13. Are you having a negative internal dialog?
The first thing is a negative internal dialog.
Times such as:
It doesn’t have to be something out of ordinary.
You will always notice and see only the things you’re searching for.
Your mind does the same to you: you will find what you’re looking for.
How is peaceful to submit to negative thoughts about yourself?
We all have them! The only difference between you and people with higher self-esteem is where the focus lies most of the time. That is the only difference: where do you tend to focus your attention and energy.
Where do you tend to focus your attention and energy?
Let’s say this is how you see yourself today.
The more you will accept the good things about yourself,
the many positive traits you will start noticing about yourself and your life.
Give yourself permission to have mostly pleasant conversations with yourself.
Quick recap of how to change your internal dialog to positive:
14. Do you settle for what people are willing to offer you and you rarely express your demands?
To get what you want from people is less about self-esteem and more about influencing people.
What is the link between influence and self-esteem when it comes to asking what you want?
15. Are you afraid to say a decisive No or yes?
The inability to say No can come from:
How to say a decisive No the right way:
Let the other person finish speaking, take a few seconds and then reply.
Be consistent.
Why should you learn to say a decisive No and yes?
It is your right!
Don’t waste your time and energy trying to satisfy everybody at any time.
In the end, if nothing else works and people are still insisting, be brutally honest about it with questions:
Now, what about saying yes?
16. Do you tend to withdraw socially?
The belief that:
How do you feel in your present environment?
Get connected with people that:
17. Do you allow other people to define for you your personal image, who you are?
When you know who you are people can’t touch you too easily in a negative way.
You can’t be offended until you put a meaning to words and until you attach that meaning to your self-image, to your ego.
Think about it!
Remember:
Every person has things that do very well; there is no question about that!
Make your own criteria of measuring your success, your effectiveness.
18. Are you worried that you might offend others?
You can’t walk through life on eggshells all the time.
Conclusions:
Our mind works by making comparisons and statistics.
So I will ask of you to use comparison in a positive way.
Wanting to be somebody else is depriving the world of the wonderful person you are.
Celebrate your uniqueness and delight the world with it.
Constructive envy and modeling.
Ask this kind of questions:
Answering these questions you will find 5 things:
Focus your time and energy on those things you can achieve and release yourself from wanting what you can’t.
When Comparing yourself to others remember:
20. Are you trying to be perfect?
The desire to be perfect comes mostly from the need to be loved.
Ask yourself:
21. Are you beating yourself up for all sort of things plus some that are not even done by you?
Listen, judging your former self for something you’ve done in the past or did not do with the awareness you have today, is a lost battle from the start. It is not humanly possible to do what you don’t know how.
Remember:
How do you know if you have low self-esteem?
Bare in mind that many of these signs of low self-esteem are caused by lack of awareness or knowledge, and, therefore, they can be fixed easily.
The three pillars of self-esteem:
Reality check
The main causes for low self-esteem and a few ways to deal with them
Characteristics of low self-esteem and how to turn your self-esteem on positive
Activities and things to focus on to boost your self-esteem
Activities
Activity 1
Set goals for yourself
Activity 2
Use your voice
Activity 3
Encourage positive behavior
Activity 4
Search for the positive part of people and focus your attention on that.
Activity 5
Respect yourself
Respect yourself by talking nicely to self.
Respect yourself by talking nicely to and about other people.
Activity 6
Get in touch with your family and friends
Activity 7
Desensitize yourself to rejection.
Activity 8
Remember to have fun and relaxing time every day.
Activity 9
Every day, when you brush your teeth, think of 3 things you like about yourself.
Things to focus on to boost your self-esteem
1. Focus on the things you can change.
2. Do things that you enjoy.
3. Surround yourself with people that like you and support you.
Gather around you:
4. Celebrate every little success you have.
You have put
5. Be helpful and considerate to others.
One of the greatest pleasure in life is coming from our altruistic acts.
6. See the whole of you.
No matter what you lack in, you’re compensating for it with something else.
7. Have compassion for yourself.
Treat yourself with respect, dignity and compassion.
You need to focus on
What to expect now that you are improving your self-esteem
1. People don’t want nor like you to change.
Why are people resisting to your change?
2. You can expect that you might want to give up on same people and same dreams.
People
So, be ready to give up on some people, be ready to give up on some of your friends and be ready to meet new people.
Let them know:
Dreams, aspirations, and goals
It is the natural progression of things.
3. Self-esteem will become your second nature.
Most probably you will not change, fundamentally who you are.
Maybe you are one of those people that can change the way they see themselves slowly and gradually, but maybe you are one of these people that can change things almost in an instant.
Either way, be patient with yourself. Give yourself understanding, compassion, dignity and love.

Content: Find your perfect place and expand when you feel like it, not when other people are asking you to do it. 2. You are the person who’s defining your personal image. Build a strong positive ego which means to know who you are and who you’re not. Value your abilities, skills, talents, and potential. Whenever you doubt yourself, remember, you are a unique individual and like any other unique thing in this world, you are invaluable. There are things that no one else knows to do better than you do. And, if you still doubt yourself, do it anyway because you’re growing more through your actions and behaviors rather than through what you believe and what you think about yourself. 3. Learn to give up.