Title: Options for responding well to an overly-rigid person
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Content: One is being psychologically wounded from early-childhood abandonment, neglect, and abuse. This can cause significant shame, insecurity, distrust, and the unconscious need to control other people and situations. Excessive rigidity (vs. firmness) can be seen as a desperate attempt to make an unpredictable world safe from confusion, doubt, and pain . If I accept that your different opinion may be valid, then I must face feeling (or being seen as) wrong / stupid / ignorant / inferior. Trying to persuade a wounded person to "be more flexible" is as futile as using logic to get an addict to choose sobriety or an atheist to want to accept a Higher Power. Notice the difference between "Alex is incredibly rigid (or controlling)." and "Alex is very wounded and insecure." Which would you rather be called? Implication - excessive rigidity is a symptom, not a "character flaw." It deserves compassion and assertiveness, not scorn, anger, or pity.