Title: Living According to Your Values: A Christian Counselor on Congruent Living | Seattle Christian Counseling
Headings: Living According to Your Values: A Christian Counselor on Congruent Living
Mar
Living According to Your Values: A Christian Counselor on Congruent Living
What is Congruent Living?
Living Incongruently Causes Stress
Our Conscience Can Warn Us When We Live Incongruently
Christian Counseling Can Help You Regain Congruence in Your Life
DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE

Content: Congruence means conformity or agreement. To live in congruence with your beliefs and values means that your lifestyle choices, day-to-day activities, conversation, and thought-life reflect what you hold to be right and important – both in God’s sight and in your own. Being incongruent involves saying, thinking or doing things that make you feel bad or wrong, or which otherwise violate your conscience. Examples of incongruency include having an affair when you believe in marital faithfulness, cheating on your taxes despite saying that you value honesty, gossiping about a friend even though you treasure your relationship, or yelling at your spouse and children despite having been very injured by the same behavior when growing up. Living Incongruently Causes Stress
Another way of living incongruently with your values can be seen when your priorities are out of order. You can see this by looking at how you spend your time, money, rumination or affections. For instance, if spending time with family and friends is at the top of your list of priorities, but you neglect these relationships in order to work excessively or to chase after wealth, you may find yourself constantly rationalizing and making excuses. Yet such rationalizations become less and less effective at enabling you to maintain your inner peace and a sense of liking yourself. Similarly, spending money frivolously instead of wisely, overeating instead of caring for your body, or neglecting your child in order to pursue a hobby, may not represent what matters most to you, and this can lead to inner turmoil that must be quieted somehow. You may numb your nagging conscience with drugs or alcohol in order to cope, or you may seek to escape through distracting activities such as gambling, shopping or viewing pornography.