Title: Parenting: Expectations of Success: Benefit or Burden | Psychology Today
Headings: Parenting: Expectations of Success: Benefit or Burden
Jim Taylor Ph.D.
Parenting: Expectations of Success: Benefit or Burden
Do your expectations help or hurt your child?

Content: You can talk to your children about the value of effort, how it will help them achieve their goals, and that they have complete control over their effort. You can share examples with your children of how notable people used the skills associated with effort to become successful. Most important, you want to help them make the connection between their efforts and success. If your children meet your effort expectations, they will, in all likelihood, perform well, achieve some level of success (how successful they become will depend on what abilities they were born with), and gain satisfaction in their efforts. They will also reap the benefits of your approval, good grades, and improved performance in other achievement activities. If your children don't meet the effort expectations, your children may not succeed and must face the consequences, including your disapproval, poor grades, etc. They will also be disappointed (they should be). But rather than being crushed by the failure, they will know that they have the power to fulfill the expectations in the future. Meeting their effort expectations will encourage your children to set even