Title: Working with People Who Aren’t Self-Aware
Headings: Working with People Who Aren’t Self-Aware
Working with People Who Aren’t Self-Aware
Understanding the problem
What’s behind the tension?
Where is this person coming from?
Helping the unaware
Am I the right messenger?
Am I willing to accept the worst-case scenario?
What to do if they don’t change

Content: Understanding the problem
Not all badly-behaving colleagues suffer from a lack of self-awareness, and not all who do can be helped. Therefore, you must first determine whether the source of the problem is truly someone’s lack of self-awareness. Ask yourself: What’s behind the tension? When we’re having trouble working with someone, the problem isn’t always a lack of self-awareness on their part. Interpersonal conflict can arise from different priorities, incompatible communication styles, or a lack of trust. To determine whether you’re truly dealing with an un-self-aware person, consider how others around them feel. Typically, if someone is unaware, there’s a consensus about their behavior (i.e., it won’t just be you). More specifically, we’ve found several consistent behaviors of un-self-aware individuals: They won’t listen to, or accept, critical feedback.