Mean Mr. Mustard sleeps in the park
Shaves in the dark
Trying to save paper
Sleeps in a hole in the road
Saving up to buy him some clothes
Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose
Such a mean old man 
Such a mean old man 
Such a mean old man
Such a mean old man
Such a mean old man
Such a mean old man
His sister Pam works in a shop
She never stops
Shes a go-getter
Takes him out to look at the Queen
Only place that hes ever been
Always shouts out something obscene
Such a dirty old man 
Such a dirty old man 
Such a dirty old man
Such a dirty old man