Jim... once had a girl, or should we say, she once had he
She... showed him her room, isnt it swell, Texas Motel
She asked him to stay and she told him to sit anywhere
So Jim looked around and he noticed there wasnt a prayer
Jim... took off his rug, biding his time, pounding his pud
He... prayed until two, and then she said, How bout some head?
She said she was booked in the morning with Falwell and Pat
Jim told her he wasnt, and dribbled some spoo in her lap
And... when he awoke, hе was alone, shed honed his conе
So... he let her fly, isnt it swell, Texas Motel
But then, suddenly...
Picture yourself with a whore in New Orleans
With big purple welts, all over her bod
Somebody calls and you answer quite slowly
Its the board from Assembly O God
Ignorant crackers like youve never seen, groveling under your bed
Look for the girl with the spoo in her lap, and shes gone!
Louisiana hooker with herpes
Louisiana hooker with herpes
Louisiana hooker with herpes
Owwww!
We saw her go down to a room by the airport
Where Swaggart gets off watching pornography
Everyone smiles as we tread through his horseshit
That grows so incredibly high
Newspaper writers appear at his door, waiting to take Jim away
He climbs in the back with his head up his ass, and hes gone!
Louisiana hooker with herpes
 Louisiana hooker with herpes
Louisiana hooker with herpes
Owwww!
Picture yourself on your own TV station
With brain-dead supporters with tears in their eyes
Suddenly someone is there at commercial
The girl with the pee-hole surprise
Louisiana hooker with herpes
 Louisiana hooker with herpes
Louisiana hooker with herpes
Owwww! Ow!
Louisiana hooker with herpes
Louisiana hooker with herpes
Louisiana hooker with herpes
Owwww! Ow!
Suddenly the evil Swaggart looks at the hooker and says...
Let me take you down, cause were going to... the Texas Motel
Dont mind the smell
Its nothing to get hung about
Please leave your cash on the table
Weeping looks better with eyes closed...
While Im confessing all my sins
Its getting hard to plook someone, but it all works out
Its all pornography to Jim
Let me take you down, cause were going to... the Texas Motel
We might go to hell
But well have lots of company
Falwell and Pat and that weasel
No one knows whos in my dream...
I mean it must be high or low
I mean, I cant you know, tune in, but its all right
That is, I think its not too bad
Let me take you down, cause were going to... the Texas Motel
Dont mind the smell
Its just some jizz from Jimmy-boy
How bout some hay for the donkey? 
No one knows, sometimes think its me...
 But you know, I know when I dont know
I think I know, I mean, I guess, but its all wrong
That is, I think I disagree. 
Let me take you down, cause were going to... the Texas Motel
Dont mind the smell
Its just some old pornography
Just keep on strokin that sausage
Just keep on strokin that sausage
 Just keep on strokin that sausage