Do I stay or I do I go?
Lots of relationships come to this crossroads. For most couples this is not a question they ask lightly. When working with couples, we often discover there have been many attempts, before this point and often by both parties, to make the relationship work. As therapy moves along, we uncover the various reasons these attempts weren’t successful. We believe that when you find yourself at this crossroads with your partner, one of the easiest ways to answer this question is to actually put both feet back into the relationship for a period of time. We suggest this in order for you to make an honest attempt to figure out what went wrong, to see if you are able to reconnect with your partner in a way that is meaningful for both of you.
Even if you end up parting ways, this is a valuable process. You gain immensely from being able to say ‘I bless you and wish you all the best’, taking what you’ve learned about yourself and being in a relationship with you as you start anew. There is a saying that what you do not sort out in this relationship you, will bring with you to the next. We believe in this. Inevitably, some of the unresolved issues are yours. The more you can start to learn about you, who you are in a relationship, and what you do in the middle of a difficulty, will only support you to have a more fulfilling life. When there are children involved, this process always makes sense. You will, on some level, always be in a relationship with your spouse. Whether you end up staying married or not, you two are connected through your children. The ability to work things out together will benefit everyone.