The Neurodiverse Holiday Guide: Managing Sensory Overload & Social Expectations
The holiday season is here – a time when our calendars fill up with family gatherings, celebrations, and social obligations. While many people look forward to the buzz and festivities, for neurodiverse individuals the holidays can be a double-edged sword. Exciting? Absolutely. Overwhelming? Often, yes. The season brings sensory overload, changes to routines, and a lot of social expectations – things that can be tough to manage for those with autism, ADHD, or other neurodivergent traits. But with a bit of planning and compassion, it’s possible to navigate the season without feeling worn down.
Whether you’re neurodivergent yourself or supporting someone who is, here’s how you can embrace the holiday spirit while respecting everyone’s needs.
Make a Holiday Game Plan
For neurodiverse individuals, structure is more than just a nice-to-have; it’s a vital part of feeling in control. Unexpected changes in plans can be unsettling, so creating a ‘holiday game plan’ can help everyone feel prepared.
Create a visual calendar to plot out the main holiday events in advance, and add simple descriptions to help with predictability. This is especially helpful for kids who benefit from having a clear picture of what’s coming next. For younger children, add colourful drawings or symbols to represent activities, like a Christmas tree for family gatherings, a menorah for Hanukkah, or a star for Diwali festivities. The more visual you can make it, the easier it is to anticipate and prepare.
If there’s a family dinner or gathering, chat about what it might be like – who’ll be attending, what foods there might be, and any activities that could take place. Familiarising ourselves with these details helps reduce the anxiety of the ‘unknown’ and can make the experience feel less daunting.
Manage Sensory Overload with a 'Sensory Kit'
Holiday celebrations can be a sensory whirlwind: bright lights, loud music, and strong food smells everywhere you turn. For neurodiverse individuals who experience sensory sensitivities, this can be overwhelming. A well-thought-out sensory kit can be a lifesaver for staying calm in chaotic environments.
Noise-cancelling headphones or earplugs can help manage the volume of holiday music and chatter, especially at busy gatherings. For those who find this comforting, consider preparing a playlist of favourite songs or calming sounds as a soothing option during loud moments.
A favourite fidget toy, weighted blanket, or even a small item with a familiar texture can provide sensory comfort and help anchor you or your child in unfamiliar settings.
Bright, twinkling lights can be dazzling – but also overstimulating. Sunglasses, or a simple sleep mask for breaks, can offer a bit of respite from the intensity of holiday lights and displays.
Respect the Need for Down Time
In all the excitement, taking breaks is a must. For neurodivergent individuals, socialising can be more energy-consuming, and it’s important to avoid burnout by building in time for rest.
Schedule breaks. If you’re hosting a party, let your guests know there’s a ‘quiet room’ where they can escape for a few minutes if they need to recharge. This could be as simple as a comfy chair in a corner with a calming activity, like reading or listening to soft music. It’s okay to have a ‘time out’ space. This doesn’t mean missing out on fun – it’s about recharging so you can join back in when ready.
It’s okay to step away when it gets too much. Be clear with family or friends about your needs or your child’s limits. Some relatives might not understand why you’d leave the room for a break, but simple, honest explanations can go a long way.
Use Social Scripts to Take the Pressure off
Holiday gatherings are filled with social situations that can be hard to navigate, especially for those who struggle with communication. Social scripts – or pre-prepared phrases – can help relieve some of this pressure.
Having a few go-to phrases for greetings, goodbyes, or even navigating tricky conversations can make all the difference. A simple “Merry Christmas!” followed by a “Thank you, you too!” or “I’m so glad to see you” can take the stress out of interactions.
If you need to step away from a conversation or take a break, plan a polite way to exit. Something like, “I’m going to grab a drink, I’ll catch up with you later,” can offer a smooth way out without feeling awkward. This can make it easier to manage social boundaries.
Give the Gift of Compassion (to Yourself and Others)
Neurodiverse individuals often have unique ways of experiencing the world, and the holiday season can amplify these differences. Embracing this reality with compassion can help everyone feel more at ease.
Maybe you or your child stayed at a gathering a little longer than usual, or managed to navigate a busy event with fewer breaks. These wins matter and are worth recognising.
The holidays don’t need to be flawless to be enjoyable. If things don’t go exactly as planned, that’s okay. Be flexible, be gentle with yourself, and remember that it’s about making the season work for you – not about meeting everyone else’s expectations. If something becomes too overwhelming, it’s okay to leave early or change course.
The Bottom Line: A Holiday Season Built for Everyone
The holiday season is an opportunity to create special memories and traditions that work for all. By respecting everyone’s needs, we can redefine what the holidays mean – not just about busy gatherings, but about moments of comfort and joy on our own terms. This season, let’s embrace not just the festivity, but also the diversity in how we experience it.