fuck bro i feel for you. brazil must be on a whole other level of constantly getting ur manhood tested given the more rough/violent nature of existence there. so more opportunities for failure and with each time a blow to ur self esteem. whenever i get mad at myself for not being violent i never imagine myself murdering people well not usually but beating them up savagely. i feel like if i was a real man, i wouldnt have to kill anyone or even beat anyone up. i would waltz over to their area of the park and tell them "turn this shit down right now or i;m going to send all of you to the hospital" and they would be so intimidated and just know i wasn't screwing around and would turn it off and pack up and leave. but who am i kidding i dont have that kind of presence.  but jesus christ noise caused you to suffer from 2 heart attacks? do you have a condition?
Canada