what are these churches doing wrong, in your opinion? part of their jobs is to promote community and prosocial behavior, and an intact family is part of that. if you dont want to be a stepdad, just dont date one of these women. i wouldnt either, but i also dont see why youre taking it as a personal affront to your sense of self worth or whatever. redemption and forgiveness is part of the package, if youre expecting your church to laugh at them and call them dumb whores then youre gonna have a really hard time finding a permanent church home.
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