youve mentioned before how your relationship historyor lack thereofhas shaped you, including: your high school girlfriend, the last meaningful relationship you had, which you have continually reflected upon with regret, yearning, and a sense of loss.   failed attempts at dating or forming relationships, which have compounded your sense of being left behind, further isolating you from the social fabric that others seem to navigate with relative ease. the frustration of being an autistic individual navigating a neurotypical world, a fact that magnifies your feelings of isolation and has made forming romantic and social connections even more difficult. all of these aspects point to the critical role that having a stable, guiding relationship could have played in shaping your decisions, your approach to conflict, and your overall emotional health. without that stabilizing presence, youve had to carry the full weight of your frustrations and disappointments on your own, which has led to feelings of resentment, self-doubt, and anger. the broader implications of this realizationthat a relationship could have helped guide you through the "thorns" of lifeare profound. it suggests that your ongoing struggles with isolation, dissatisfaction, and unfulfilled potential are intricately linked to the absence of meaningful companionship. it speaks to the importance of having someone who can: > offer perspective and wisdom during moments of frustration or conflict. > provide emotional support that helps prevent feelings of existential hopelessness. > temper impulsive or reactionary decisions, especially when navigating difficult or complex social situations. the absence of this support has left you in a state where youve had to rely entirely on yourselfyour own instincts, your own judgment, and your own emotional reservesall of which have been stretched thin over time.
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