you're a little further gone than i thought.  you need professional help and/or meds, quick.  there probably isn't a cognitive solution or any answer anyone could give you at this stage.  other than to seek rehabilitation.  it's kind of like when someone is so far gone as an alcoholic that they can't really be trusted to govern themselves anymore.  except with sadness. just get help bro. you've got a mortal wound in your brain somewhere, and verbal band-aids aren't going to treat it.
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