pumpkin cranewanker, a peppermint-faced red head, age ten and counting, had a dilemma. her best friend, betsy boots, was in love. her being in love was not an issue. pumpkin had nothing against love. she herself loved apple trees, frozen popsicles, and fish sticks coated in pepper. what she didn't likewas offended by too strong?was that betsy was in love with a boy. if it were just a boy that would be bad enough. but it wasn't a mere boy. it was frederick "freddy-o" mccuddles of the benson street mccuddles. freddy-o was a loaf, a pants on fire liar, a rose colored eyeglass wearing moron. he was happy go lucky to an extreme and believed in fairies, brownies, witches and things that tugged on your toes while you slept, and icily grabbed your shoulder when you got up to pee. he once challenged the idea that the alphabet was in proper order, and whether the weather was not merely forecasted by tv presenters but actually planned and scheduled by them. frighteningly, pumpkin had heard that betsy and freddy-o had held hands while skipping through puddles during a recent sprinkling rain, and now had plans to peck kiss behind the school after the next fridays final recess. it was like watching a family member descend into madness or death.
United States