i found a surefire way to correct this in my wife. she tried to relax on putting out after we'd been married for a while. she'd never been married before and i had. i knew i had to correct this behavior immediately. so i told her flat out i was going to fuck her regularly or i was going to fuck someone else regularly. but i was going to fuck regularly whether she was involved or not. and you know what? we've been married for 20 years and fucking 3 to 5 times a week, if not more, for the better part of the last 17 years of it. it's not hard. and if she resists this in any way, she has confirmed your place in her mind as a beta provider or placeholder. and you're going through the wringer no matter what you do.
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