i agree in principle, but life is more complicated. red lines are obviously not tolerated, but the real question is what is a red line?  for example, i try not tolerate my wife being lippy, but anyone with even the most remote experience with women knows how snarky and full of venom they can be, and how you can never avoid anything 100%, especially if youre married. its impossible.  in fact, married life exposes your most human/vulnerable/normal habitation and habits to your spouse constantly. that alone will guarantee some loss of attraction over time, so the male has to be constantly vigilant. its exhausting, and even if youre up for the challenge like i try to be, its a losing battle. these bitches demand a level of brutality that men cant give spiritually nor legally, and the modern world has dialed it up to 11. i still agree with you though, its just that the margin of success is tiny these days. i try hard to put my kids first.
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