my dear friend, i agree with you, but even that we must assault, that sensation of hopelessness, for the lord to decide to redeem us, we must be redeemable. he doesn't make mistakes, so we must be worth *something* to him. i do think you touch on the right emotion, though. a genuine disappointment in us, what we've "accomplished", but fret not, some fragmented, shadow of love exists even here. somehow he still sees us as his children.  i myself am still working on this fixation with lust, what a hellish thing. the sacrifices of god are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, o god, thou wilt not despise.
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