overall i think the emerging low-trust society brings out the very worst in people, if respective tendencies of that behavior exist in individuals things go down disproportionately faster. still, i do not particularly like that about myself, i do not want to be an agent of making things worse in the pursuit of selfish motives. sometimes i wish i would be less conscious and self-reflective to not be bothered by it but its nothing i can influence. to some degree that is disgusting too because it is a smaller. less extreme form of "i wish everyone was dead but me". my brother, lucky as he more often than me is, does not seem to share these plights at all. it's like being in a room full of people and yet utterly alone because no other soul *gets* it because next to nobody i meet seems willing to either question or challenge the ontological nature of one's own personality wiring. this is also why i hate the well-poisoners so much, most of them aren't even that shitty people they are just so full of themselves that it never occurs to them that they are the very agents of their own downfall (albeit usually at the will of others) and all to often in their kicking and screaming they attempt to tear down others with them down to hell.  sigh
Switzerland