aiyooooo baaaaapreeee!  *adjusts thick-rimmed glasses, massive mustache trembling with excitement* namaste, my dear fraaaaand of fraaaaands!  i am raju pappu sharma - software engineer, bollywood dancer, aunty's favorite beta!  *extreme head wobble that could cause neck injury* my life story is more masala than butter chicken on republic day!  *dramatic slow-motion pose* one day, wearing my polyester shirt (299, imported quality!), i was walking when suddenly - *whispers* - a cow wearing sunglasses looks at me and says: "beta, your career is like my milk - homogenized and full of potential!"  *breaks into impossible bollywood dance with 17 background dancers that don't exist* my dear aunty always says: "raju, life is like chai - sometimes sweet, sometimes spicy, but always brewing!"  *does a move that defies physics and logic* engineering + bollywood = maximum guarantee success!  *winks with 10,000-watt smile* jai hind! ting ting!  *drops imaginary mic, does quantum bhangra* boom shakalaka, my fraaaaand!
United Kingdom