the official story is that luigi shot the ceo, went to the park, dropped off his backpack full of monopoly money for no reason, transferred all of the incriminating evidence to a similar but different backpack, wandered around nyc at night for a laugh, changed into slightly different yet similar jacket, grew a unibrow, lost a couple of inches in height, changed skin color, randomly flirted with someone long enough to reveal his new yet slightly different facial features, drove to pennsylvania for no reason, then walked around for no reason for a week with a signed confession, the murder weapon, 12 grand in cash, and a bunch of fake ids including the one he used at the hostel that he didn't get rid of for some reason, and a manifesto that first line reads "i support the feds", until a random mcdonalds "volunteer" not a worker but a "volunteer" who is 85 years old with cataracts but also batman vision somehow id'd him across the room? finally after being arrested the first words out of luigi's mouth to the public as he screams at reporters while being manhandled by police and forced into a holding cell are > this is clearly an abduction and an insult to the intelligence of the american people! mama mia! that's one magic luigi!!!
United States