> be italiboo > really fucking love dante > make it your life mission to read dante in the original italian, to the point that you travel to italy to learn italian specifically for this purpose > while in italy, fall in love with the culture, the food, etc. > becomes the token japanese friend who gets invited to all of italian high society parties > publish some crappy poetry, teach these europeans about something called "haiku" which they really like > ww1 comes around > like italy so much he joins with the war effort > travels alongside elite shocktroopers as they liberate several cities in austro-hungary > write a book about these experiences, which catches the eye of another prominent writer, gabriele d'annunzio > become friends with him, and through him get involved in italian politics > by getting involved, i mean, march on fiume and declare it sovereign italian clay, in direct violation of the league of nations and effectively declaring war on italy > it's okay though, because japanese passport basically grants free movement > end up smuggling secret letters between d'annunzio and a young up-and-coming journalist, benito mussolini > friendship with d'annunzio ended, mussolini is new best friend > go back to japan, use contacts with now-prime minister to get involved in business > find an up-and-coming soft drink, calpis, that needs a promotion > get mussolini to be the face of calpis > pretty soon yebisu beer is also throwing money at you > organize the first flight from rome to tokyo ever > become the main liaison between italy and japan during the war > after the war, just kind of lay low > retire on the massive stacks of money made from promoting japanese industry > build a fucking shinto temple to dante in tokyo is there a better historical example of someone falling upward? this mad lad just wanted to read dante and ended up being two thirds of the axis powers.
Canada