i would make omelette and if a chef shouted at me while i make an omelette i would crucify him with egg and toast.  i would go to court saying it was self defense and he threatened me,  they would ask why they have evidence it was premeditated and i would say it was self defense.  they would ask why i kept a giant wooden triangle to errect with victim in front of the place of work and i would say that it's simply a timeless weapon of war required to defend myself.  at this point they would either declare me insane, or they would decide to send me to a death penalty state for resisting the war on comfy cooking.  i would be at peace, and i would offer to cook omelettes at any destination i arrive at. even if i find my way to hell. i shall offer to cook for the devil.  for if god sends me unto the devil. it is because he needs the devil egged.
United States