no worries irish bro, majoram is another hormone balancer btw curious do you have a job and or attend any kind of group activity or classes? you don't need to be a degen to have friends or make relationships with women, and if you accept that the majority of people have vices, you can be the sober person in a group - i used to be a fuck head, and have known plenty of cool based sober straight edge religious whatever people  if you're jealous of them, don't be, but if you are, don't judge them either you've worked so hard to cultivate your discipline, you will feel really bad about yourself once the thrill of giving it up wears off, and then you'll be at risk of descending further same time, living a little and pushing the boundaries of your self and environment is part of life and development dont give up bro, you've found the problem, now find the solution
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