this is exactly the gaslighting strategy that females use, to keep men in an eternal rat race of approval seeking. wake the fuck up!  all of this "marriage is a constant work" bullshit is meant to keep a man in an eternal state of qualifying for his wife's intimacy intended for her long term dominance. women in marriage and ltrs want to push past that nagging hypergamic competition anxiety; they want security, not just financial, but emotional, and the security that comes from a locked in commitment in knowing they are the only source of sex & intimacy for their spouse/partner. one of the reasons sexual frequency declines for women after a romantic commitment is that the urgency of sex that was necessary prior to the commitment is replaced with the agency of sex being a reward/reinforcer within that ltr. men use relationships to get access to sex. women use sex to get into a (long-term) relationship. in single, uncommitted, nonexclusive life, sex, while being very enjoyable, becomes a proving ground for most women. in essence, it's the free samples before the buy, and its urgency is fueled not only by (hopefully) genuine attraction and arousal, but also at least the subconscious knowledge that she is in a sexual marketplace of competition. it's the only time in life when a woman must qualify for a man's approval. admittedly, most men are so desperate and/or so inexperienced that the sell is usually not a tough one for her. however, on some level of consciousness, even when the sell is virtually assured, she is aware that she could be replaced by a better competitor. hypergamy drives women to sustain a prospective man's interest. this then is the contrast for committed sexual interaction. the dynamic now shifts from qualification sex to utility sex. it is now a mere tool. remember: women are pragmatist opportunists pretending to be hopeless romantics.
Switzerland