i was buying meat at whole foods and this 50yo rich lady said she wanted to grill burgers and how much ground beef she should buy for each burger. i was just like 'bitch have you ever heard of a quarter pounder from mcd's just plan for four burgers for a pound but you can probably squeeze out six'. her face lit up and it was the only time i have felt like a genius in my life. and no i'm not fat and have never even had a quarter pounder. i do my own cooking when i'm not on the road.
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