there are different levels of autism. for asd1 it's mostly an internal experience and comes with low support needs. my friends think i'm normal but i can only hang out with them once every few months. i also have to consciously hold in info dumps. shopping is hell due to flickering lights, target makes me itchy either from the lights or the chemical smells. i have very sensitive hearing, i aced most tests in college without taking notes or studying, but still it was hell due to homework and papers being impossible for me to write because i can't structure information by how important it is. i also tend to memorize conversations as they're happening and catch myself repeating them under my breath by myself like my brain is practicing socializing the next time. none of this is normal, is exhausting and holds me back, as i get older it's harder to keep up masking, and as i said all of it is internal. therapy also is hell because i usually have a more difficult degree than my therapist and they force an emotional component to everything. all that being said, the intense sensitivity to everything including the bajillion social rules i've manually studied make me fun to hang out with paradoxically. i usually overcorrect socially, but it still makes me a zombie for the following two weeks or so. it's stupid to be lumped in with low functioning autists but that's how it is. like, clinically inappropriate and stops people who would normally have been classified or identify as aspergers from seeking help.
United States