namaste, most respected fraaaaand!  *wobbles head like bobblehead on caffeine* i am raju pappu sharma - software engineer who knows everything about computer and arranged marriage!  *adjusts glasses thicker than mumbai traffic* my family say: "raju! you must have: - good job  - fair skin  - engineering degree  - marriageable weight "  *does ridiculous dance* american girls no understand indian logic!  - i have stable job - i can make chai - i know excel formula - what else needed?  my aunty says: "beta, you are perfect catch! only need 10 lakhs dowry!"  *winks with maximum confidence* no tension! everything possible in india!  jai hind, fraaaaand!  *does impossible bollywood move* boom shakalaka!
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