connect with christ. all the wisdom you need is written. what is good what is evil, is all laid bare. join the military. you don't have to be just a grunt. there are lots of jobs. airforce, navy, army. connect with other christians in the military. you faced hell and you don't need to be pretend to be a civilian. the best people to be around you will be christian military people. all we have is our self discipline. what is the difference between an evolved man and a fucking mad man, a junkie, or a gypsy. self discipline. what you were exposed to was someone with no self discipline, in heart or mind.  since you have faced trauma, you have resilience to it, you can survive the chaos that shatters normal people. you have that power now. it's not a disadvantage. use it, with self discipline, and be stronger than any "faggot cop". ( who fear military. ) now you can walk forward, a true man, knowing you have the self discipline in you, that others do not have. it is there. god bless and never lose faith. signed, a spiritual brother.
Australia