i went down this rabbit hole myself and you won't find a conclusive answer. i'd read through summa theologiae: lust (secunda secundae partis, q. 153) if you want a rational way to think about this. long story short: are the activities you're inquiring about lead to procreation? how important is female lubrication in sex that is supposed to be both 1) unitive and 2) open to procreation? are the acts you are describing disordered (what is the purpose and function of the clitoris)? regardless of how you answer these questions, your seed must be spilled in here for it to be and "ordered" behavior.
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