for any young lads wondering, yes. you actually do have to bum them right up the arse every now and then, or they will start feeling like you don't love them. i found out the hard way in my late teens and early 20s. repeatedly, it was the same story > oh no she's getting all sad and withdrawn for no reason, like the last one, what am i doing wrong? i wasn't bumming them straight up the arse. after i started doing that, i never had one get icy and depressed for no reason. they want to have the chance to impress and amaze you, and be put in their place in a kinky and degrading way. bumming is basically the default way of accomplishing this, at least in their eyes. so you do have to bum their arses and make them suck the bum willy so they can feel fully appreciated and utilized. they will feel like you love them more, and they will love you more. as long as you do it sparingly enough, they will look at you like you just handed them a bouquet of roses after you bum them straight up the arse.
United States