[crash 1] at exactly 3:37 am, the first trucka battered chevrolet silveradohurtled down the street, headlights blazing like the eyes of a wrathful deity. it struck the house with a deafening explosion of wood and metal. the driver, propelled by the impact, was > launched onto the houses roof, (mlive, oct. 2024) as if by divine intervention. onlookers from the cult clapped rhythmically, whispering, 27 times. twenty-seven times. ``` [crash 2] a red ford f-150 emerged from the shadows, its driver screaming incoherent phrases about > benzodiazepines, amphetamines, and weed. the truck collided with the corner of the house, leaving a crater where the living room used to be. the drivers body spiraled onto the roof like a ragdoll. "two down!" shouted the leader. "and were just getting started!" ``` [crash 3] this time, the vehicle was a tesla cybertruck, its matte finish gleaming under the flickering streetlights. as it plowed into the remnants of the porch, a speaker inside played an unsettling recording of livelsberger muttering, > cleansing my mind surveillance logs the driver, wearing a homemade vr headset, slammed into the shingles above. generative ai, murmured the cult leader, a game-changer. ``` [crash 4] a rusted dodge ram painted with the words electric forest in fluorescent green screamed down the road. it hit the house squarely, obliterating a load-bearing wall. from the wreckage, the driver climbed to the roof unaided, chanting, > cults and drug use! cults and drug use! ```` [crash 5] this crash involved a ups delivery truck, inexplicably commandeered by the cult. as the vehicle burst into the house, cardboard boxes spilled everywhere. one box opened to reveal old mlive headlines: > woman charged with stealing repossessed suv the driver, wrapped in bubble wrap, gently bounced onto the roof. ```
United States