there is not one single "bdsm way", bdsm is just an umbrella term for violent sex (and the "sex" is really optional here), there are freaks who get off by getting beaten and it's not at all uncommon for women to love some rough mugging that appears completely asexual, it's just to express your power, it becomes domestic violence only after the said previously purrpurring happy woman lost her tingles for you and wants to ruin your life.
Finland