my psychological disabillity(shizoid personality disorder) is preventing me from being a strict materialist or rather that i'm indifferent to materialistic pursuits. t.atheist i figured out at age 13 that at the end of philosophy stands nihilism, eternal and undefeated.  took protestant religious class age 19 instead of philosophy because of it, at least that is a closed coherent system. philosophy is navel gazing.
Germany