took me until late 20s to get my shit together. but i didn't have the love of a woman. i was all alone and very depressed. eventually,,,took a while,,,, realized everything in my life was my responsibility and that i couldn't really on anyone, especially a woman, to pull me out. faith in god helped. got my shit together and really decided to stop focusing on finding a girl for the first time since my teens. within 6 months i had 2 girls actively chasing me and ended up marrying a 3rd a couple years later. now i'm married 12 years with 3 kids a great career and i'm happy. sometimes i lament that it took so long to get my shit together. but i swallow that down because there is nothing i can do about it and i wouldn't change my current state for anything.  your husband needs to figure this out for himself. and he may never..... but you won't be able to force him without leaving him. is that the best thing for your kids? maybe but not likely. prayer does work but action works too. if you can talk to him you could try that but he might resent you. it would be better if you spoke to someone he trusts that can deliver hard news, like a parent. you make him sound lazy. not sure that's the case but that's not healthy or good for the kids. i get the whole neet life. i was neet most of my 20s. go get em
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