> he always yells and screams and throws things at me when i do is she demented? typical dementia behavior right there.    if you can't lose weight and get an attractive body, join a convent.    we are in the same boat! precisely my recent history, at least when it comes to doing good and having nothing to show for it. i used to think that god rewarded and favored those who did good, but that is not the case at all. it is called charity because you get nothing, not one thing, in return. that's why it's so rare and laudable. we can only trust in god to even the balance and reward us for our good works at the final judgment, not anytime on earth. that is why god promises reward, because there is something out balance, if we received the just wages for our conduct here on earth, there would be nothing for him to restore. once you make good works the centerpiece of your life people around you will start opposing you and hating you because your righteous conduct pricks their conscience, they will invent malicious slanders and think the worst of you so they do not have to admit that you are making better use of your time and money, and even view you as 'insane' because you are not like them. why do you think god does not show his face, but isolates himself from humanity? i think it is best to be the same. self-sufficient, isolated, and working quietly to help others. i have too come to the conclusion that most modern humans are little different than animals, even the ones in the churches. companionship with them is impossible because two travelers walking on different roads, at different angles, will find ever-increasing divergence between them. those who worship and desire god and those who worship and desire mammon and all the sinful conveniences of the modern world are on two separate paths.
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