hey, lefties, i've got some bad news for you the new tariffs are finally here, and they're going to make our prices so much better... for the right people. you see, we maga-tastic patriots aren't too concerned about rising costs on our consumer goods. we're not those losers who are too busy working 2+ jobs just to get by. nope, we're too busy being the best, the greatest, and the most fantastic (and expensive) americans we can be! we don't care if our iphones cost $1,000 each; we'll gladly shell out that extra cash because we're going to "own the libs" with our expensive, american-made stuff. i mean, who needs affordable consumer goods when you've got trump's tariffed pride? our president is all about "putting america first"  and what better way to do it than by making us pay triple for a new pair of nikes? and don't even get me started on the poor you know who's going to be really, really upset? the poor, stupid leftists. they'll be too busy struggling to make ends meet to worry about rising prices. i mean, they're already too dumb to vote for us, so why should we care about their economic well-being? so, go ahead and whine, lefties we're too busy being american, expensive-style. we won't let a little thing like inflation get in the way of our trump-tantric patriotism. bring on the tariffs; we'll just pay more, and we won't regret it.
Fascist