> no, borderline personality disorder is much closer to narcissism no, all of the literature points the other way. more like aspd, or secondary psychopath than primary psychopath.  > they have deep fear of abandoment no, that is an act, the fallback act, once you call her out on her shit. everything they say and do is to put you on the defensive, and make her seem innocent and not in control of herself. it's to make you feel like you are the one, the only one, who can determine her mood and state of mind. you slowly become responsible for every one of her emotions. > self hurt this is to elicit sympathy. you will find the same women often are involved in munchausen type behaviour, making themselves sick so that others have to pay attention to them/save them. they of course despise anyone who falls for their game, and it is intrinsically rewarding as these people experience "duping delight" much like psychopaths do. they seek abusive partners not because of low self esteem, but because they are exciting and are a tailor-made excuse to be the centre of attention whenever they want. feeling bored? throw a glass ashtray at your sleeping drug dealer boyfriend, he beats you up, then nonstop attention from cops, lawyers, family, friends. meanwhile on the inside she is laughing at them all as in her eyes they are just stupid dupes to be used. they are under control all of the time, their anger is instrumental (meaning insincere and goal-oriented). their crying is instrumental, look for water around their eyes, you will rarely see real tears. sniffing noises are not crying. being conniving means that you are aware of a meta-game that others aren't, and also a degree of premeditation, ergo it cannot be automatic and they are fully cognizant of the damage they are causing, and quite fine with it.  and narcissists don't have low self esteem, their self esteem is super high. it's just that they are easily wounded when their self-perception does not match up with reality
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