consider a girl who says she wants a "guy" but the only ones she can find are poor and ugly. obviously any girl with this attitude is off putting to any actual wealthy and attractive guys. why? because the girl is treated all guys as nearly identical except for their capacity to be attractive and wealthy. for this girl, the guy is just instrumental (an instrument) to what she actually wants. money to afford a lifestyle and a trophy. i.e. the guy is a means to an end.  now imagine a girl who says she wants a specific guy and doesn't care if he is tv or poor and doesn't care if he is attractive or ugly and genuinely means it. she is treated a guy as an end in itself. the only thing she wants is the affection of a specific person.  now consider how you are talking about women. are you treating them as means to an end? or ends in themselves?
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