op, you went into this thinking niggers are bumbling retards. you're the retard that filled out your question sheet wrong. sorry, i can't help with this one, unless you're willing to claim disability for being an insane lunatic that can't function in society and will shit on desks as an activity outside of your control. if you do, you'll probably lose gun rights, and will always have an express ticket to the insane asylum instead of going to jail. cops will just violate your rights and ship you off if you have a problem with it.  honestly your best bet is to claim temporary insanity. they'll dna test the shit btw. even if it's not on video, you're fucked. never use your own shit.
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