> "these incredible heroes executed their craft with professionalism, precision, diligence, bravery and, most importantly, the utmost care, when responding to a house fire at my home here in the city of saginaw." ah, yes, the incredible heroes, executing their craft with a quintuple-stack of virtues. the sentence feels less like heartfelt gratitude and more like the opening line of an oscar acceptance speech. we get itthey did a great job. but throwing in precision alongside bravery and utmost care makes it sound as if they performed a life-saving surgery, not extinguished a house fire. and that at my home here in the city of saginaw feels like a desperate grasp for gravitasdid we need reminding of the location? > "when i arrived, my longtime dear friend and once neighbor, tom raines, said the crew was already hard at work locating our beloved pet, doublestuf, not to mention the suppression efforts of the others." the phrase longtime dear friend and once neighbor is a mouthful that reeks of unnecessary embellishmentare we supposed to applaud him for having friends? and calling the pet our beloved doublestuf might have been touching if it werent nestled between the clunky hard at work and the overly formal suppression efforts of the others. he makes firefighters finding a cat sound like a military operation. > "i will never forget greg simmons' relentless effort to revive our buddy with a small oxygen mask, while he was wrapped in a blanket." lets pause to appreciate relentless effortas if simmons fought death itself in a heroic duel with an oxygen mask as his only weapon. its a touching image, but the phrasing leans into hyperbole territory. simmons likely did his job as professionally as expected, but this makes it sound like a scene from a hollywood drama where simmons screams, > stay with me, doublestuf! as orchestral music swells in the background.
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