heavens to murgatroyd! the north korean army is upon us?! but north korean soldiers aren't shooting their targets?! but rather shooting ropes to their targets?!?! you mean, that right now, 10 thousand gooky goons are marching to satan city?!?! and they have nothing on their mind but sex?! their entire lives have been porn free, sex- free and this lust has come to an explosive end?! if my beautiful wife is found by this gang of goons she will be mercilessly raped?!? and what's more, they are bringing eastern asian medicine practices along with them?!?! my wife is going to be repeatedly bred in order to produce human placentas for them to use as medicine to cure mild colds?!?! my step-children will be mummified to also be used as ingredients!?! yippeeee!!!! whhhaaa---?!? there's more?!? let me get this straight: the north korean soldiers are going to be so disgusted by my own depravity, that they will decide to kill me?! they're going to take me apart, piece by piece, limb from limb and turn me into medicine?!? as per tradition, they are going to torture me to increase my qi and therefore make their medicines even more potent?!? after they finish boiling me alive, my skin peeled off of my flesh, i will be killed, dissected and cut up to be used in aphrodisiacs?!? through my death, i will get to be keked even harder?!? i will die screaming knowing that every last piece of my essence will have been devoted to kekoldry?!?! yabba dabba dooooo!!!!!!! glory to kim jong un!! death to america!!!!!
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