part 2 > mum and james didn't just fuck in the garage > they fucked in the guest room on the sofa > i would hide beneath the kitchen table and see them through glass of the guest room door > they wouldn't see me in the pitch black kitchen > i would be under the table wanking off trying to control my breathing so they wouldn't hear me > i used to sometimes hid behind one of the sofas kind of pressed up against the wall > i was small and thin so it was easy > other times they'd fuck in her bedroom while they thought i was asleep > her loud high-pitched and prolonged moaning would make me rock hard in my room as i wanked > i'm became such a perverted little loser i associated my mum with sexual pleasure for years > i also kind of got aroused by being around my friend and i secretly wanted him to come round more often > even when i felt the worse shame i'd have wet dreams about them fucking when i tried to abstain from wanking > every sexual thought, even if started by looking at a teen girl my age > would turn into fantasies about my friend defiling my mum > i had wanked too many to them fucking for my sexuality to reset and fix itself any time soon > and i got the worst kind of satisfaction knowing i saw them do it and they never knew i was there > it was a weird breed of voyeuristic masochistic cuckoldry mixed with incestuous feelings > but i would never fuck my mum i knew i was lacking and inadequate > instead i developed a symbiotic relationship where i got pleasure knowing my mum was pleasured i know i'm sick in the head. i'm sorry for trauma dumping.
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