*jesus and his disciples are walking along the road early in the morning. jesus, grumpy because he missed breakfast, spots a fig tree in the distance.* jesus: "yo, lets get some figs. im starving." *the disciples nod, relieved that maybe they can eat too. they approach the tree, but as they get closer, they realize it has no fruit because its not fig season.* peter: "uh, rabbi? no figs. fig season isn't for a couple months." *jesus stares at the tree, his face twitching with jewish rage.* jesus: "what the hell? a tree that doesnt give me figs when i want them is useless!" *the disciples exchange awkward glances, unsure of what to say. jesus walks up to the tree, and with a dramatic gesture, curses it.* jesus: "may no one ever eat fruit from you again!" *the disciples watch in stunned silence as jesus glares at the tree angrily. they cant believe hes that mad over a few figs. jesus storms off, still grumbling.* james: "did he justcurse a tree? for not having fruitin the winter?" john: "yeah, man. hes in a mood today. lets just keep quiet." *they follow jesus in silence, trying to avoid eye contact. later, as they pass by the same spot, the tree is withered to its roots. jesus looks pleased with himself.* jesus: "see that? you mess with me, you get cursed. remember that." *the disciples nod, still confused and a little uneasy. peter whispers to john.* peter: "what the fuck was that?" john: "just let it go, man. you want him cursing you next?" *they continue on their way, all hoping they never have to bring up figs again.* mark 11:12-14, 20-21
United States