matthew 27:35 (niv) > "when they had crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots." theyre over there betting on my clothes like im not even up on the cross, suffering. like they couldnt wait. luke 23:35-36 (niv) > "the people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. they said, he saved others; let him save himself if he is god's messiah, the chosen one. the soldiers also came up and mocked him. they offered him wine vinegar." wine vinegar. im dying up there, and theyre like, hey, lets offer him some fucking vinegar, see if that helps. wow. thanks, guys. really hits the spot when youre suffocating on a cross. jesus pushed himself off the slab and started pacing, running his hand along the cold stone walls of the tomb. "all that, just to get here. three days, sealed off from the noise, from people who want miracles every five minutes. im out here doing my best, and they crucify me for it. literally. he couldnt help but laugh, though it was more of an incredulous snort. i die for their sins, and they dont even give me a day off first. so yeah, i went through all of that just so i could get a little time away from everyone. they think im in here dead, and im like, nah, man, im on a forced sabbatical. he grinned, stepping to the back of the cave where he knew his secret stash was hidden. this is gonna be worth it though. three days of peace, three days of no one bothering me. i could do whatever i want in here, and no ones the wiser. with a swift motion, jesus pulled aside a loose stone from the wall, revealing a hidden compartment. inside was his ultimate cache. he pulled out a stack of pillowsplush and fluffyperfect for turning this stone slab into a makeshift throne. next, came his tablet and a few old-school gaming devices he had stashed there for the occasion.
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