all is not lost. all is always present.  you have valuable experience. you know hypocrisy of people. you know how hate is not the answer. you know what is pleasant and what is degenerate. you know body and mind can be healed entirely without help of any human contrivances. you are free and you are a intelligent human.  go forth and bask in the sun, and appreciate the riches found within yourself. take care fren.
India