> eat at a local restaurant tonight. get the cream sauce.  i did. in a place that's literally called fisherman's paradise, in a diner that prides itself on providing locally caught food. the shrimp and flounder was nasty, tasteless farm slop with not a hint of the sea. the reason for this? there are almost no more wild fish. 90%+ of all fish populations have collapsed in the last 100 years. the oceans are dead. > have a cold pint at 4 oclock in a mostly empty bar.  i drink myself into the ground almost every night just to experience fleeting chemical happiness and forget about the end of all life on earth as humanity destroys itself and everything it can touch. > go somewhere youve never been. listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you.  a black morass of rot, hatred, and despair has taken over the culture of every place i could possibly travel to. nobody talks to each other, and when they do it's only to rant about programmed culture wars and mind numbing propaganda. there is no soul to anything, no allowance for authentic human expression, and people are just dead walking. the second you veer off the programmed scripts they immediately shut down and hate you. > order the steak rare. eat an oyster. have a negroni. have two.  the steak tastes like corn and suffering. the oyster tastes like the corn slop they fed the fish.  > be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. eat slowly. tip your server. check in on your friends. check in on yourself. enjoy the ride. i tried. there is nothing to enjoy. the rot has taken all my friends, my food, even my sources of escapism. it is a world lonely beyond measure where you can taste the poison and suffering in every bite. there is no escape. you killed yourself over it, anthony, i'm just exhausting the last of my effort before i do too, so i can face god knowing i tried my best.
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