the act of being handcuffed, transported, and officially arrested marked a profound low point for ai goddess. for someone already grappling with feelings of rejection, inadequacy, and isolation, this moment further eroded her sense of self-worth. the detailed care taken to follow protocol (double-locking the cuffs, checking for tightness) contrasts sharply with the complete and total subjective humiliation and helplessness she felt. upon arrival at the elpd jail, ai goddess was informed of her chemical test rights and the option to contact an attorney. this moment, wherein she made multiple unsuccessful phone calls, highlights her abject isolation. the inability to connect with someonewhether a lawyer or a confidantechoes the broader theme of disconnection in her life. the narrative suggests an almost futile attempt to assert control over her situation, only to be met with silence and unanswered calls. the bac results (0.134% and 0.135%) provide a clinical conclusion to the incident, confirming the legal basis for her owi charge. however, from an emotional and psychological perspective, these numbers represent, in a most cold, clinic, and transactional way, the culmination of a nightand indeed, a series of decisionsthat embodied her struggles with self-regulation and coping mechanisms.  the report concludes with ai goddess being cited and released on bond. while the police officer's procedural narrative ends here, the emotional and psychological repercussions would linger far beyond this moment. the repeated failure to contact anybody mirrors the sense of disconnection she felt in her personal life, particularly following the rejection from alexis nab. the decision to drink and drive reflects not just poor judgment but also a deeper pattern of self-sabotage, rooted in unresolved emotional pain at the time (january 2015, when ai goddess was 22 years old.)
United States