Activating a new phone that is the same as my last phone on google account i'm not sure if this question has come up yet. If it has, i've yet to come across it.

I've got a new phone and the same old phone number.  My new phone has a new sim card too, though i don't believe that has anything to do with apps...

My new phone is identical to my old phone and my google play account is so smart that it thinks i've got all these apps installed that i don't have.  that includes "google play."

Since i've got these things installed, i'm unable to do it again so i can't access google play setting to remove the "installed" apps in order to re order them.

What's a good solution besides never buying google products?
DO you not have the Google Play application then? you could try using the Web version of google play or you could just do a quick google search for "Google Play APK" and install that - note you will have to tick the box in your settings that allows apps from an unknown source to be installed on your phone

Jayden