How can I disable 'factory reset' function? This is not a duplicate as I'm not trying to protect it against being stolen. I'm trying to protect it from tech illiterate people that keep resetting it. I basically need to make it so that I can only reset it though the PC. I have root and everything and I thought I disabled anything dangerous to them.

If we don't get any good ideas, can I just set it up to some sane defaults and then just delete the Settings app? (Good thing "Recovery" is protected by a hardware key combination.)
Yes, you can disable Settings if you have root.  From a root shell or terminal:

pm disable com.android.settings


Run it again, changing disable to enable, when you want to use it later.