How to get a history of incoming and outgoing transactions for a certain address? Along with the history of incoming and outgoing transactions, how would I find the first block that that address appeared in (to find when the wallet was created)? 
I want to do this by parsing with bitcoin abe or something along those lines. 
I'm not the programmer, but I need to know how to tell the developer what I'm looking to create.
To get the history of incoming and outgoing transactions all you need to do is send "listreceivedbyaddress" command to the bitcoind rpc interface. For more detail see here. 
https://en.bitcoin.it/wiki/Original_Bitcoin_client/API_calls_list

To see where the address first appeared is more intense, you will need to run a search query on a block chain and analyze each block up until you find an appearance.