At what point does the criminal get caught? Settle an argument for me.
Assume a criminal does the following:

1: goes thru trash to find a cancelled check
2: using a wifi hotspot like McDonald's and "Hide my ass" buys bitcoins with stolen bank info
3: sells bitcoins and transfers money to his personal account.

Which step does he get caught?

My friends says he gets away with it, I say he gets caught when he sells them. Who's right?
Most sites that sell Bitcoin for cash require more information than just "bank info" in order to run the transaction.  So the scenario you outlined is not quite complete for the purposes of "not getting caught".