Calculate the square of an integer with restrictions The Puzzle

You have to write a program or function p(n) that returns the square of what is entered into it and you may assume that the input is a non-negative integer. Put in simpler terms, return n2.

Rules


You are not allowed to use * or / (or any other power or square root operator, such as POW or SQRT, if your language contains such functions)
You may not use a loop, or use a constructions that is similar to a loop.  Example of loop like constructions are GOTO and recursion.


Example

Function p(n)
Dim r()
ReDim r(n)
p = Len(Join(r, Space(n)))
End Function


Be creative and (ab)use the functions and features given to  you by your language of choice.

*edit

Loop like structures are loops that allow you to repeat 1 or more instructions

-if you could add an stdout "1" to your code and you would end up with repeating that output n times, it will count as a loop
CJam, puts on his glasses
q~33c

(*_*)

(*_&quot;)&gt;⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

&quot;]sG&gt;4%,)

Input via STDIN
Try the code here
Note that * in the code is not used as multiplying, but as a join operator
Also note that the cool part of the code is not just string, half of it is actually the code involved in finding the square. So.. DEAL WITH IT
This will help you in dealing with it:
q~33c                    &quot;Read the number and put ASCII character 33 on stack with it&quot;
(                        &quot;Decrease it to get ASCII code 32 character, which is a space&quot;;
 *_                      &quot;Repeat the space input number times and make another copy&quot;;
   *                     &quot;Put that many spaces in between each space. Now we have&quot;;
    )                    &quot;n*n spaces string. We take out the last space out of it&quot;;
(                        &quot;Decrement the space to get ASCII 31 character&quot;;
 *                       &quot;Fill the n*n - 1 spaces with that to get 2*n*n - 3&quot;;
  _                      &quot;string. Then copy it again.&quot;;
   &quot;)&gt;⌐■-■               &quot;Put the sun glasses in&quot;;
(⌐■_■)                   &quot;Wear the sun glasses. Be cool.&quot;;
&quot;]s                      &quot;Add everything to a single string of 4*n*n - 6 + 16&quot;
   G&gt;                    &quot;length. Remove first 16 characters&quot;;
     4%                  &quot;Take every 4th character from that string to get n*n - 1&quot;
       ,)                &quot;length string. Take length and increment to get n*n&quot;;