What time is it? (Obfuscation) Your goal is to write an obfuscated program that displays the current time.

Guidelines: The program can print local or global time. You are allowed to draw ASCII numbers, display an analog clock, etc. No input should be needed. Whether you include 12 or 24 hour, including AM/PM, milliseconds and seconds or not, it all doesn't matter. This is a popularity contest.

Inspired by sykes2.c, an impressive display of confusing naming, obscure language features, and clever tricks.
Analog clock, JS

Analog clock? Challenge accepted.

Golfed/Obfuscated into the zone of not-exactly-understanding-what-it-does-even-after-reading-through-a-few-times:

for(var a=new Date,b=a.getMinutes(),c=a.getHours()+b/60,d=[],e=Math.round,f=Math.PI,g=Math.sin,h=Math.cos,k=0;11&gt;k;k++)d[k]=[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0];for(var l=0;l&lt;f;l+=0.05){var m=e(17/11*5*h(2*l)),n=e(5*g(2*l));d[n+5][m+8]=1}for(var p=0;2.5&gt;=p;p+=0.5){var q=e(17/11*p*h(-(c*f/6)+f/2)),r=e(p*g(-(c*f/6)+f/2));d[r+5][q+8]=2}for(p=0;4.5&gt;=p;p+=0.5){var s=e(17/11*p*h(-(b*f/30)+f/2)),t=e(p*g(-(b*f/30)+f/2));d[t+5][s+8]=3}d[5][8]=1;a="";for(k=d.length-1;-1&lt;k;k--)a+=d[k].join("").replace(/0/g,".").replace(/1/g,"O").replace(/2/g,"h").replace(/3/g,"m")+"\n";console.log(a);


Outputs something like:

.....OOOOOOO......
...OO.......OO....
.OO...........O...
.O...h.........O..
O.....hh.......OO.
O......hOmmmmmmmO.
OO.............OO.
.O.............O..
.OO...........O...
...OO.......OO....
.....OOOOOOO......


...yeah, guess what time it is here. (Hint hint not AM)

Human readable version:

var date = new Date();
var min = date.getMinutes();
var hrs = date.getHours()+(b/60); // set up date
var a=[];
for(var i=0;i&lt;11;i++)a[i]=[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0]; // set up array
function putX(x,y,i){a[y+5][x+8]=i;} // just for source neatness; this is expanded out in the obfuscated version
for(var p=0;p&lt;Math.PI;p+=0.05){ // draw clock border
    putX(Math.round((17/11)*5*Math.cos(2*p)), Math.round(5*Math.sin(2*p)), 1);
}
for(var p=0;p&lt;=2.5;p+=0.5){ // draw hour hand (transforming the angle to work)
    putX(Math.round((17/11)*p*Math.cos(-(hrs*2*Math.PI/12)+(Math.PI/2))), Math.round(p*Math.sin(-(hrs*2*Math.PI/12)+(Math.PI/2))), 2);
}

for(var p=0;p&lt;=4.5;p+=0.5){ // draw the minute hand like the hour hand
    putX(Math.round((17/11)*p*Math.cos(-(min*2*Math.PI/60)+(Math.PI/2))), Math.round(p*Math.sin(-(min*2*Math.PI/60)+(Math.PI/2))), 3);
}

putX(0,0,1); // set the center point

date=""; // reuse date for maximum confusion :)
for(var i=a.length-1;i&gt;-1;i--)date+=a[i].join("").replace(/0/g, ".").replace(/1/g, "O").replace(/2/g, "h").replace(/3/g, "m")+"\n"; // output ASCII art to string
console.log(date); // output string to console