Convert English to a number Short and sweet description of the challenge:

Based off the ideas of several other questions on this site, your challenge is to write the most creative code in any program that takes as input a number written out in English and converts it to integer form.

Really dry, long and thorough specifications:


Your program will receive as input an integer in lowercase English between zero and nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine inclusive.
It must output only the integer form of the number between 0 and 999999 and nothing else (no whitespace).
The input will NOT contain , or and, as in one thousand, two hundred or five hundred and thirty-two.
When the tens and ones places are both nonzero and the tens place is greater than 1, they will be separated by a HYPHEN-MINUS character - instead of a space. Ditto for the ten thousands and thousands places. For example, six hundred fifty-four thousand three hundred twenty-one.
The program may have undefined behavior for any other input.


Some examples of a well-behaved program:

zero -> 0
fifteen -> 15
ninety -> 90
seven hundred four -> 704
sixty-nine thousand four hundred eleven -> 69411
five hundred twenty thousand two -> 520002
Applescript
A silly, hacky mash-up that might upset some Cupertino/Mountain View folks, but I think its a creative silly, hacky mash-up.

set myNumber to text returned of (display dialog ¬
    &quot;Enter number as text:&quot; buttons {&quot;Continue…&quot;} ¬
    default answer &quot;&quot; default button 1)
tell application &quot;Google Chrome&quot;
    activate
    open location &quot;https://www.google.com&quot;
end tell
delay 5
say &quot;ok google. &quot; &amp; myNumber
delay 2
tell application &quot;System Events&quot;
    tell application process &quot;Google Chrome&quot;
        set fullURL to value of text field 1 of toolbar 1 of window 1
    end tell
end tell
set AppleScript's text item delimiters to &quot;=&quot;
display alert item 2 of text items of fullURL

Uses OSX text to speech to speak the text number, and google audio search to listen for it and convert it to an integer.
Requirements

OSX
Google chrome
speech-recognition enabled in your google account
volume turned up to a reasonable level

The delay timings may need to be adjusted depending on your chrome load time and google lookup time.
Example input:

Example output: