Sort a list and write some English! Your boss managed to read the secret hidden message. He didn't end up firing you, though, he just made you a secretary and forbade you from writing code.

But you're a programmer. You need to write code. You must code.

Therefore, your code needs to look as similar to English as possible, make sense, and look as little like code as possible. Your code should take a list of integers (either in a function, or STDIN), and return that list sorted (returning it, or STDOUT).

Any language can be used, but I'm looking for the most creative solution, (kudos if your code looks like a business letter).

This is a popularity contest!
GolfScript

Dear Boss Man.
It came to my attention that my keyboard needs replacement; the keys required  to write the
symbols ~ $ ` . and } are not functioning properly.
It's very difficult to work like this! Please instruct the IT department to exchange the faulty
keyboard as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Dennis

Try it online!
How it works



 Undefined tokens (e.g., most English words) are noops in GolfScript.




 . ; duplicates the input string and discards the copy.




  ~ $ evaluates the input string and sorts the resulting array.




 ` inspects the array (for pretty printing).




  . and duplicates the output string and discards the copy.




 } is a &quot;super comment&quot; since it is unmatched; everything following it is ignored.