Name for the need to reply “you can’t fire me, I quit” It’s a cliché in movies. The boss fires the employee, and they reply “you can’t fire me, because I quit”. Similarly, when in a romantic relationship, one person may decide to end it and the other answers the news with “well, I have been thinking about ending this for some time” (whether true or not).

Both of these replies should be unwarranted and effectively meaningless: the end result is the same. Yet, people often feel this need to “one-up”1 one another. Does this need have a name? And do we have any formal findings (or ongoing research) as to why we have it?

1 Not exactly “one-upping”, since you’re not outdoing the first person — more like preemptively doing what they’re doing, as if life works like a MTG game, and the last thing any of you do is the first to happen.
I don't know of any term that refers specifically to this sort of counter-offensive reaction to ending a social relationship (be it romantic, professional, or otherwise), but I vaguely recall reading about some theory that distinguished reactions to relational stress as follows:
$$\begin{array}{c|c|c|}&amp;\mathbf{Active}&amp;\mathbf{Passive}\\\hline\mathbf{Constructive}&amp;\rm Actively\ constructive&amp;\rm Passively\ constructive\\\hline\mathbf{Destructive}&amp;\rm Actively\ destructive&amp;\rm Passively\ destructive\\\hline\end{array}$$
The reaction in question is actively destructive. A passive alternative would be less decisive / assertive, and either patient / understanding / cooperative (i.e., constructive) or apathetic / pessimistic / negative (i.e., destructive). Sorry I don't have a reference off the top of my head; I think this came from my social psych textbook as an undergrad, but I'm not sure.

As for plausible explanatory constructs, consider:


Dominant personality
Avoidant or anxious-ambivalent (i.e., insecure) attachment style
Needs for power and autonomy
Behavioral tendencies involving defensiveness and reactance

Certain defense mechanisms may apply depending on whether the person is reacting genuinely or just defensively (and doesn't actually want to end the relationship).