Guidelines for self-help group for people who go through divorce/breakup I'm working on organising a self-help group for people who go through a divorce or a difficult break-up, and I'm wondering if there's a list of dos and don'ts with regards to things one should avoid saying, and things that might help people to recover faster.

The rough thing I have in mind is:


Everything is confidential and stays in the group
Listen actively and don't interrupt
No jugement
Immediately redirect severe cases to licensed professionals and social workers


But that doesn't answer the question of how one can help people to recover faster. "Everything's going to be alright" won't work, and "there-there" with a tap on the shoulder too.

Of course I'm going to contact my local therapists and ask them the same question, but you never know what's going to work out in the end. Maybe someone here has a good idea or/and can nudge me into the right direction.
Aaron Beck is an psychiatrist and psychotherapist.
He is considered the founder of classical approaches to cognitive psychotherapy.

One technique that he suggests is the cognitive technique that generally consists of some steps. N.B. These steps may change depending on the problem, depending on the therapist and depending on the patient-therapist alliance.

According to Beck, negative thoughts result from two separate minds:


The first feels uneasy thinking to flaws of the couple, to all goals not reached, to interpersonal difficulties...
The second cannot ignore these thoughts, because the risk is to loose useful informations that would help to identify the issues that need to be addressed.


You should help the couple to pay attention to those negative thoughts that have to be taken into consideration, neglecting those that you do not think to be useful.

I wish to have been helpful...In conclusion, i suggest Aaron Beck "Love is never enough" (1990)

REFERENCES

Aaron Beck L'amore non basta. Come risolvere i problemi del rapporto di coppia con la terapia cognitiva, Roma: Astrolabio, 1990

@Chris' Edit for English version of book

English version is
Beck, A. 1989. Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve Relationship Problems Through Cognitive Therapy. New York:Harper &amp; Row