Consulting expert for remodelling plans while doing the work myself?
I'd look for a sympathetic licensed general contractor. Preferably a 1-3 man show, preferably an older guy/girl, as a larger firm will probably have no time/interest in this kind of job. If there are things you want to (or have to by law) sub out, the general might be willing to share info on appropriate subs. 

The only thing Ikea/HD types would be useful for is the actual kitchen layout (cabinets, appliances, etc). They are unlikely to be helpful with anything structural. 

Try to make friends with your local 'authority having jurisdiction', aka the permits office. If you show a willingness to learn how to do things to code, they're apt to be helpful. YMMV.