3 wire service to panel... neutral and ground wires on the same bar?
Whoever told you the meter was the point of disconnect was dead wrong. 
The main panel or disconnect is the first means of overcurrent or disconnect. THIS is where your neutral bond must happen.


  2011 NEC
  
  Article 250 Grounding and Bonding
  
  II. System Grounding
  
  250.24 Grounding Service-Supplied Alternating-Current Systems
  
  (B) Main Bonding Jumper.
  
  For a grounded system, an unspliced main bonding jumper shall be used
  to connect the equipment grounding conductor(s) and the
  service-disconnect enclosure to the grounded conductor within the
  enclosure for each service disconnect in accordance with 250.28.*