how to wire two switches in one box with three wires , two of the go to different lights, which one is hot
White is hot, per NEC.

However your installation is already a code violation, so it might be two.    Also, this particular instance is one of those rare times experimentation does not hurt; switches either short their terminals or do not, so you have already seen the worst case symptom.  So go ahead and try all 3 possibilities.  

The hot wire is the one that is split to go to 1 terminal on each switch (doesn't matter which). The remaining 2 wires each go to 1 switch, on the remaining terminals.

Here  are the relevant Code bits:


in a cable, if the white wire is not needed for neutral, it can be re-marked for use as a hot.  It must be marked with paint or tape and the tape must be a valid hot color (not white, gray or green).  Black is fine. 
A re-marked white wire must be always-hot, if always-hot is one of the wires in the cable. 


As to your timer problem

Either GMOs, vaccines, Roundup, or HFCS is  turning young people's wrists into things that can only hold phones.   However, for those of us with wrists, we can use a traditional (if 1980s is defined as "traditional") timer.   These don't need neutral for power, because the power comes from the aforementioned wrists. 

These come in a variety of runtimes, and you can choose a model with or without a "continuous hold" position. These have 2 screws and install like a plain switch.  (The cover plate is NOT Decora, it is very clever but weird, and you must, must read and follow the instructions. NEC 110.3(B).)