Should my AC condenser and evaporator be the same size?
You have done a fair amount of research as you can see this an art and depending on what you want lower operating cost or dryer air the answer can be different. 

To me I like much dryer air for 2 reasons the first is how much cooler and comfortable it feels, the second reason cool high humid conditions are a great mold factory in the ducts I found this out later on industrial systems. 

The control of your system also has some affect where the sizes are exact and a very high efficiency throttle valve system setup it may not get as cold and not remove as much moisture unless set on a less efficient setting, again it is a power savings vs comfort to get in the mid to upper 20 seer the coil is not as cold so not as much moisture is removed, but down around 18 seer the coil gets really cold and removes a bunch of moisture. So even with a exact match there can be trade offs. 

My split I think 23 or 24 seer has a dehumidifier setting that we cycle on 2-4 times a day depending on how humid it is. 

Sorry to add another variable into your research but almost every system I have installed is slightly different so there is not a one size fits all unless you have a system that can vary it’s pumping rate then an equal match is best so you have efficiency for most of the day and dehumidifier for a couple of hours.