Is there a way to have SQL Server format a number into ordinal form?
No, there is not any built in function that will do this. This is something that should be handled in the presentation layer and not in the data coming from the database.

EDIT: based on the presence of a "crummy presentation layer", IF this would have to be done in the database I suggest creating a UDF to convert the values to ordinal or words. IT definitely would not be pretty.

From a comment: For the second part of the question, Daniel used the script found here:

http://www.sqlteam.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=86067