mysql 8.0, updates are sometimes stalling
That's an 8.0 optimizer issue. Can easily be fixed either doubling the range_optimizer_max_mem_size (and, if this is not helping, doubling it further and further) or just by setting it to zero, this way it can use up to all the amount of available memory.

Did the trick for me. Unfortunately, I wasn't the guy to figure it out, but rather guys from paid percona support desk. I was told this is likey to happen on huge tables.