How can we have IIS talk to SQL Server with TLS1.0 disabled?
I've resolved my problem. Not sure if all of the hurdles are things DBAs would normally encounter, but since people are often interested in resolving the whole problem, and this seemed like a series of issues others might encounter (given the various sources of the problems), here goes:


Put IIS on a separate box. This allows IIS to have TLS1.0 disabled while SQL Server has it enabled.
Disable TLS1.0 on the IIS box using John Louros' PowerShell script (not NARTAC's IISCrypto tool).
At this stage I started getting System.InvalidOperationException: This implementation is not part of the Windows Platform FIPS validated cryptographic algorithms..  FIPS-compliance is on by default for .NET apps, so others may well encounter this.  Since I didn't need FIPS compliance, I tried adding &lt;enforceFIPSPolicy enabled="false"/&gt; to web.config as per this post, which didn't fix the problem.  I then followed the accepted answer from this post.  I later ran into difficulties, and undid both these changes but the FIPS error didn't recur.  Sorry, that's not very enlightening.
Then I got System.Security.Cryptography.CryptographicException, which I fixed by changing web.config as suggested here. I replaced &lt;machineKey validationKey="AutoGenerate,IsolateApps" decryptionKey="AutoGenerate,IsolateApps" validation="3DES" decryption="3DES"/&gt; (which was suggested in this old Microsoft KB article) with &lt;machineKey validationKey="AutoGenerate,IsolateApps" decryptionKey="AutoGenerate,IsolateApps" validation="HMACSHA256" decryption="AES" /&gt;.


Then - hurrah! - everything was working again.

Edit

I read Aaron Bertrand's post which refers to this answer.  For anyone coming here from there, I should point out that my testing was before Microsoft's late-January-2016 announcement of TLS1.2 support. I'll try to get around to re-testing with any updates I didn't previously have from that announcement and with IIS and SQL on the same box again, and post my findings here.

(I'm not especially optimistic about being able to co-locate IIS and SQL because from what I had read, I already had TLS1.1 and TLS1.2 support in SQL Server 2014 due to having SP1 CU1, so these latest updates aren't adding anything new in theory. Also, I have an un-tested hunch that since IIS and SQL are on separate boxes, I could have any old version of SQL Server, without needing TLS1.1 support.  If anyone has any thoughts on that I'd be glad to hear them.)