What is the most effective way to manage a community table with one customizable flag?
No answers for months so here is the solutions I've come up with on my own.

I don't know if this is the best but if anyone else has this question it's worth a thought. 

The common table can be stored in the common db as desired. Then each local database (which will always use a subset of the 130K possible values) can either store just the enabled values in their local copy of the table. Or store just the IDs of the enabled items. A disable would effective be a delete and an enable would be a create of either an ID or of the entire row.