MySQL Import CSV with Multiple Field Separators
Since you are not allowed to script but SQL try the following:

CREATE TABLE importweirddata( txt varchar(255) ) ENGINE=MyISAM;
LOAD DATA LOCAL INFILE 'whatever_importfile.txt'
INTO TABLE importweirddata
LINES TERMINATED BY '\r\n';
UPDATE importweirddata SET txt = REPLACE(txt,'\"\"','\"');
SELECT * FROM importweirddata INTO 'improved_importfile.txt';
DROP TABLE importweirddata;


There you go, another text file that has the doubled double quotes stripped.

If you want all doubled double quotes replaced with single quotes, do this UPDATE:

CREATE TABLE importweirddata( txt varchar(255) ) ENGINE=MyISAM;
LOAD DATA LOCAL INFILE 'whatever_importfile.txt'
INTO TABLE importweirddata
LINES TERMINATED BY '\r\n';
UPDATE importweirddata SET txt = REPLACE(txt,'\"\"','\'');
SELECT * FROM importweirddata INTO 'improved_importfile.txt';
DROP TABLE importweirddata;


Now, go import that file (improved_importfile.txt) and have fun with it.

Give it a Try !!!