Is it a bad idea to critique someone's paper in my first publication?
I think the same standards apply, regardless of whether it's your 1st or 100th publication. If you think you've found a mistake in a published paper, a common courtesy is to first contact the paper's authors for a clarification, as Noam suggested in the comments. If the authors confirm that it's indeed a mistake, you can indicate that in the paper (cite it as "private communication"); this should make the review process smoother.

When pointing out people's mistakes in print, gentle understatement is a good practice. "There appears to be a mistake in the proof" should be gentle enough. Having a counterexample certainly helps.