Discovering Pureland Faith
Dont pay so much attention to vocabulary and linguistic labels just do. The invitation that begins with « better not to start. once started better to finish » Is the invitation worth accepting. I urge u to follow this thing whatever it is that u are describing. Keep it up no matter how impossible it seems to be the one being in a sea of a million sentient beings. Also PS u will never find ascetics in a monastery only Bhukuni and Bhiku....where does one go to find an ascetic i wonder?
Youre quote made me laugh « higher understanding » what is understood remains the same but the one who understands makes it higher or lower. Cant get to where you are going without meeting one or two obstacles!