What did Buddha say about dysfunctional families for novice practitioners?
I can only agree with Dhammadhatu's last paragraph. Get yourself going first, for  if you are suffering inside you cannot help others and your inner rescources will become less and less. This is not about being selfish but I call it enlightened self interest.
Now, the Dhammapada is largely addressed to monks, but I think some of the quotes are still good reminders and something to strive for. 
To quote from the Dhammapada:


  Verse 160: One indeed is one's own refuge; how can others be a refuge to one? With oneself thoroughly tamed, one can attain a refuge (i.e., Arahatta Phala), which is so difficult to attain.


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  Verse 61: If a person seeking a companion cannot find one who is better than or equal to him, let him resolutely go on alone; there can be no companionship with a fool.


and lastly verse 43, which targets your issue and echoes Dhatus last point: 


  Verse 43: Not a mother, nor a father, nor any other relative can do more for the well-being of one than a rightly-directed mind can.


Apart from Buddhism, I can also recommend REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) by Albert Ellis who was the "father" of cognitive behavioral therapy. Especially Windy Dryden published countless books in how to overcome obstacles (search on Google Books, I learned most of it through Book reviews there). One of the most important hallmarks in REBT is self acceptance, and if possible other and world acceptance, where you differentiate between personhood (or supposed "self/other worth") and the doer. Basically "condeming the sin but not the sinner". It would definitely help with your self esteem issue you raised. On YouTube, Albert Ellis is also to be found. There are old lectures, but still on point and have a no non-sense approach which I like and is usually quite rare to be found in comparison to Buddhism, where lectures and talks go up to 2-3 hours with a lot of non-sense and rambling.