I want to leave my mother
The last paragraph (&quot;she is 50yo. She had 3x stroke&quot;) reminds me of the first few verses from the Dhammapada:


&quot;He abused me, he struck me, he overpowered me, he robbed me.&quot; Those who harbor such thoughts do not still their hatred.

&quot;He abused me, he struck me, he overpowered me, he robbed me.&quot; Those who do not harbor such thoughts still their hatred.

Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a law eternal.

There are those who do not realize that one day we all must die. But those who do realize this settle their quarrels.



I say this because it's possible that, after she has died, or when you are dying, you'll prefer it if you made peace (or even tried to make peace) with her.

I think that Buddhism says that ethics are important; and it recommends against bad (immoral) companionship. So I'm not sure that (i.e. I doubt whether) Buddhism would recommend that you help to &quot;enable&quot; her to behave immorally ... for example by buying her drink (enabling her substance abuse) and doing whatever/everything she tells you to do.
If one extreme is to &quot;leave her&quot; (i.e. &quot;no relationship&quot;) and another extreme is to &quot;obey her&quot; (i.e. a &quot;bad or abusive relationship&quot;) perhaps you can find a &quot;middle way&quot; between those two extremes.
I imagine that perhaps there are some things that are good to offer her, and some things that aren't. So try to clarify in your own mind what the difference is, where the boundary is.
Also I guess to some extent you have already left your mother, i.e. you're in another country. Maybe what you ought to want is the best relationship you can have, and not to have a bad relationship.

Speaking of boundaries (and the following is personal advice now, based on personal experience ... the above was more-or-less loosely based on Buddhist suttas), you may want or need to say &quot;no&quot; to certain requests of hers. I assume she tries to make that (your saying &quot;no&quot;) difficult (by arguing with you), which is why you want to say &quot;no&quot; to the whole relationship.
You (and she) might be able to have something of a relationship, if you say &quot;no&quot; when you must.

Also, well done for going to school and so on, working hard, having friends, and starting to learn about Buddhism. I hope that works out well for you.