How to change bitcoind 0.8.1 bind settings?
it seems the following is the answer to both questions:

// bitcoind.conf, v0.8.1
irc=0
listen=0
rpcpassword=&lt;hash&gt;


this results in a 127.0.0.1:8332 and ::1:8332 listen only. i was unsuccessful in locating a command that disables ipv6 listens. the onlynet= command limits peer connection types, not listen types.

listen=0 disables live listens, but does not affect localhost binds.
the bind= command only works if listen=1
note that rpcuser= is set default to root if omitted and only accessible by a user with said credentials. disabling all listens would make the daemon inaccessible by command line. the server= command only works for bitcoin-qt.