DSP using audio IO from PC using C++
The best performance you will be able to squeeze out of a PC is with an audio interface that supports ASIO.

To be able to get near 10ms of total delay (input and output) you will also need a very fast machine. Not only in terms of CPU but more importantly in terms of memory performance.

On top of this delay, you are going to have to add the delay in processing your signal and generating the output signal.

1ms (total delay (?) ) on the hardware you are describing is unrealistic.

The way ASIO works will handle issues #1,#2. I am still not really sure what you mean by #3. If you want to use the PC to drive a device with some signal and collect the response of the device to that signal then that is relatively easily achievable with an ASIO enabled audio interface too.

Hope this helps.