Shooting For a Star Supervisor VS Mediocre Supervisor and Consequences For Your Academic Life Career
It feels to me that you are describing a false dichotomy. You will in fact need a supervisor who is both competent and with whom you are able to have at least a professional relationship. However, I don't really believe that your supervisor needs to be a "shooting star" - a regular, competent, research-active professor should do just fine.

Surely not all competent academics in your field are jerks / bullies? If they indeed are, I worry that your expectations are in some dimension unreasonable.