How to cite my earlier paper which is submitted to the same conference?
One solution would be to post one or both papers to the arXiv, and then cite the arXiv versions. 

IEEE does allow posting to the arXiv with certain terms. From their FAQ:


  Can an author post his manuscript on a preprint server such as ArXiv?
  
  Yes. The IEEE recognizes that many authors share their unpublished manuscripts on public sites. Once manuscripts have been accepted for publication by IEEE, an author is required to post an IEEE copyright notice on his preprint. Upon publication, the author must replace the preprint with either 1) the full citation to the IEEE work with Digital Object Identifiers (DOI) or a link to the paper’s abstract in IEEE Xplore, or 2) the accepted version only (not the IEEE-published version), including the IEEE copyright notice and full citation, with a link to the final, published paper in IEEE Xplore.