I got a provisional acceptance and submitted my clerical revisions almost two months ago. Email the editor?
The question hangs on the meaning of "provisional acceptance." If the reviewers suggested that no further review was required, then the editor should be able to make a decision fairly quickly once the changes have been made and submitted, so two months is probably too long for the subsequent review. However, there is the possibility that the editor sent the paper out for an additional round of reviews, in which case the delay is much more "explainable," but still bordering on too long. 

In any case, a polite email to the editor asking about the status of the paper wouldn't be remiss. What you've written is fine.