I did something I am not proud of, and was rightly accused of cheating by the instructor. What is next for me?
What you are doing is called catastrophizing. This incident, unpleasant and mildly serious though it is, is simply not the life-destroying event you imagine it to be, and you are not the evil person you imagine yourself to be for having committed this act of dishonesty.

In fact, I think the worst aspect of the situation is the negative thoughts you are having about it, which sound like they have a much greater potential to derail your studies, mental health, and (if left unchecked) your future career, than the facts of the actual situation you described.

I can’t comment authoritatively about your specific hypothetical scenarios of losing your clearance, becoming a failure professionally etc, but they simply sound highly implausible based on my years of experience in academia in the US. My advice is, take a deep breath, and seek counseling and advice from knowledgeable people in your institution who can give you:


useful practical information about the possible effects of the cheating on your career (which frankly my guess is will be essentially zero if it’s a one-off incident, although there may be a temporary punishment that could set you back a bit);
separately from that, mental health advice to help you keep yourself from becoming overwhelmed with anxiety.


Good luck!