Lecturer with anxiety. How to survive in academia?
Years ago, I gave up on the idea of a career in music when I developed severe performance anxiety. After I gave a terrible performance in front of a large crowd, I decided the thing I was going to do was 'face my fear' by signing up for something even scarier and going through with it. Result: an even more terrible performance in front of an even larger crowd, which I had nightmares about for ages, and I never performed again. So I know the feeling and can tell you that - based on my experience, anyway - throwing yourself off the deep end might be counterproductive. Suggestions instead:

Talk to colleagues about the issue, especially those you're close to and/or those who are openly supportive of mental-health stuff. I get the feeling that this is more common than most academics generally let on. I once watched an absolute legend of a faculty member in my subfield admit to considerable nerves in front of an unfamiliar crowd, which astounded me but shouldn't have.

Professional assistance: As 101010111100 says in a comment, it might be worthwhile to see if you can find a therapist who'll be on your side and work with you to find a way through or around this.

Toastmasters? I watched a former student of mine with major social anxiety gradually work through it with the help of a local group. The student went to a meeting and said nothing, and then went to another meeting and said nothing, and then introduced themself, and then gave a 10-second speech, and little by little practiced low-stakes public speaking until the idea of doing it felt a whole lot less terrifying.

Remind yourself about the 'spotlight effect': Not that I want to sound as if I'm trying to trivialize your feelings, but odds are that your audience paid a whole lot less attention than you did to your embarrassment. In general no one will notice a verbal slip-up or two, and even if you do come across as nervous or choke on water partway through, the audience is likely to be thinking much more about the content of your presentation rather than your delivery and state of mind. I saw a fascinating talk at a conference last spring and at lunchtime congratulated the undergraduate who gave it. The student blushed and admitted to an immense amount of embarrassment over having been so nervous. I said that while I could see some nerves in the presentation, I was thinking so hard about what was being talked about that I didn't care (beyond hoping the presenter remembered to breathe).