How to build healthy working relationships with my male colleagues as a young-ish, attractive-ish woman?
If there are any female faculty that you trust, I would go and talk with them about the situation. This would accomplish a few things.

Documents your concerns if anything ever escalates.

Allows for you to share your concerns with another person, who may be able to give you insight specific to your situation.

Allows you to verify if your colleagues are indeed being more than &quot;just friendly.&quot; (As in, a third party may be able to silently observe some of the behavior and verify what is happening).

May open avenues administratively for departmental intervention such as a general email about sexual harassment or the like.


You do not even need to mention specific people in your conversations. This faculty member does not even need to be in your direct department.
I also would be prepared to &quot;friend zone&quot; these men if necessary. One challenge with female/male relationships is that it can be very difficult to read soft signals. There were girls I knew in school (I am male) that I wanted to get to know better. I would chat them up after class. And, I'll admit, I even went walking by their apartments a few time in hopes that they would be outside and we could talk. I did not have any nefarious intentions; I just wanted to make them like me. Even if they brushed me off a bit, I was not always really fast at taking a hint. I would just think they were having a rough day, or were busy. (Sometimes this actually made me want to stick around them more to make them feel better—I was naive). However, when one girl directly told me &quot;I am only interesting in being your friend&quot; that is when I realized that I was bothering her. We went on to have a congenial relationship at school, but did not do anything outside of school. Be prepared to directly tell your colleagues that you are only interested in keeping your relationship professional.
While you may not really want to directly tell these men that their attention in not wanted, that will honestly be the most effective way at fixing the situation I feel. This is especially true if you do not want to radically alter your lifestyle (e.g. leaving school at 2 a.m. so that they cannot wait for you).
If your colleagues are decent guys, they will not ignore stronger signals that you are not interested in their attention in they way they have been giving it.
If your colleagues are still too dense to take a clue (or blatantly ignore it), this is when it could be helpful to have an established dialogue with a female faculty member. You may need to initiate an administrative intervention.
Do not be afraid to sever a relationship if you have to. No one does themselves any service by trying to be friends with someone while simultaneously trying to keep their distance from them.
The clothes thing is odd, but I'm honestly not sure what you could do about that. The department cannot begin sending out emails saying &quot;No one may dress like Lily.&quot; If you see someone that is blatantly copying you, I would call them out on it. Perhaps if they see that, yes, you did notice their clothes, and that, no, you were not amused, they will stop matching your clothes. This could be done in a joking manner if that makes it easier:

Woah Jim, you are wearing the exact shirt I was wearing yesterday! Have you been in my house? (said while chuckling and in the presence of other people)
I see you're wearing plaid. I have one ugly plaid shirt that I only wear on laundry day. Do you like wearing plaid? It makes me sort of dizzy! (Ha ha ha.)

In closing, the fastest way to get this unwanted attention to end is to end it directly, either by telling the men themselves, or getting a person in authority to do so.