How to avoid identifying myself in a review?
If you believe that there are papers that the author should cite, list them in your review.  Yes, I mean the specific papers, with complete bibliographic information.  If you include some of your own papers in that list, the author of the refereed paper may suspect that you're the referee, but so what?

On the other hand, if you believe that the only papers that the author should cite were written by you, you're probably wrong.  Look harder.