Writing critique request: Zhou Ziwang and the revolutionary new technology
I write my piece of paragraph based on your English excerpt without referring to your own try. And hopefully it will meet your aim to identify a better style.

起初，多数人强烈反对，称人决不能僭作神明。当时，对未来后果的忧惧笼罩着大众。人类将如何演变？对此批判四起：一旦施用，人还称得上人吗？这种技术本质有违自然。诸此论调，引起世界各国政要也加入反对阵营，结果，除领军科学家外，无人许可应用该项技术。

其实这不过是官方说辞，真相恐怕永不能为我们所确认。有传每个政府都清楚该技术之威力，但皆不愿让他国轻易利用，故只能隐秘开展研究。一些人谴责那些科学异端出卖科技后退休跑路，但无可否认，现在它已经随处可见，令人惊骇。

我是周子望。约二十年前，科学家就已经开发出这足以改变世界的技术，而此时还是小孩的我无从知晓如此重要的研究正进行着。不论如何，这项新技术给我的人生带来了深远的影响。

Comments:

In Chinese writing, you are supposed to drop, merge, and change the expression of subjects constantly, and compact several topic-related sentences into one using link words. After all, Chinese sentences are separated by topics, instead of grammatical clauses.

Concision is virtue. Avoid too many grammatical words such as 的/地/得.

Chinese lacks "tense" in the grammar aspect, but it doesn't mean you are supposed to pay no attention to time.


In any case, this new technology has had a profound impact on my life.
无论如何，这新种技术会对我一生中有巨大的影响。（x）