I found a random file on my desktop, and I need to know what it says in English
It's mojibake.

Read http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mojibake

In Chinese, the same phenomenon is called 乱码 (Simplified Chinese) / 亂碼 (Traditional Chinese) (pinyin: Luàn mǎ, meaning chaotic code), and can occur when computerised text is encoded in one Chinese character encoding but is displayed using the wrong encoding. When this occurs, it is often possible to fix the issue by switching the character encoding without loss of data. The situation is complicated because of the existence of several Chinese character encoding systems in use, the most common ones being: Unicode, Big5, and Guobiao (with several backward compatible versions), and the possibility of Chinese characters being encoded using Japanese encoding.