Connecting iPhone Xr to a PC that doesn't have iTunes on it
I ended up finding an answer in a YouTube video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuJgHIipTvM

I will summarize in the event of link rot:


Connect the iPhone to the PC with a USB cable
Click the Start button in the lower left corner, and open the
Devices and Printers window
At the bottom of the window you will see a section labeled
"Unspecified"
Right click on Apple Mobile Device USB Driver and choose
"Properties"
Click the "Hardware" tab, and then the "Properties" button
Click the "Change Settings" button
Click the "Driver" tab and then the "Update Driver" button.
Click the "Browse my computer" option, and then the "Let me pick
from a list" option
Change to the MTP USB Device driver


It worked for me, after I did that I was able to see the iPhone attached to my PC.  I had to open and close the Windows Explorer window a couple times before it would actually let me see the DCIM folder on the iPhone, so don't get frustrated if it doesn't work right away.

Hope that helps anyone who might stop by and see this answer!