How can I make Apple menu shortcut keys work more like Windows?
It works pretty much as you describe Windows.

If you want a better key combo to access the menu bar, you can customize it under System Prefs &gt; Keyboard &gt; Keyboard Shortcuts &gt; Keyboard &amp; Text Input &gt; Move focus to the menu bar. 

Then type to select which menu you want, hit enter, then type to select the menu item.

Note that most menu items have keyboard shortcuts. These are written next to the menu item, often a single character preceded by the CMD key.