Apple 1 year warranty - What type of issues are covered for Macbook Pro UK?
First of all, I'm glad you asked about it before hitting your MacBook with a sledgehammer. The 1-year limited warranty only covers damage that was caused by a manufacturer defect. Water and/or physical damage is not covered. No exceptions. The only damage that is covered is if the battery drains super quick or whenever you use it it gets way too hot. Or the software does not work properly and you have tried all remedies possible. 

Secondly, the only way to get a new receipt is to purchase a new computer. That's really the only way. I broke my iPhone twice, and no new receipt was ever given. 

The only way that is possible is to sell your computer and then buy a new/used MacBook.