Cloned and changed HDD; now almost every program crashes on startup
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Disregard my previous answer. I looked at the crash log again, and did a few searches and tracked down the following (source):

In a normal Crash Report there is an appended list of apps and utilities (the Binaries), which this crash report hasn't managed to capture...
That crash is happening very early in the launch and the Report is incomplete. The app is trying to use areas of unmapped memory and this can be caused by three factors: The Application or the Data (Your Library) and in rare circumstances, the OS.
So lets start by eliminating some possibilities:

Edited for your situation:

Create a new account (System Preferences -&gt; Accounts), install Chrome, and see if you can launch it. If the application launches successfully, then it's likely your 3P apps are okay and the problem is something in the main account.