Configure avrdude for programming with a ft232r cable
According to this guide, you can modify your avrdude.conf to use a different pin for the reset signal than normal. So you would want to add the following to your avrdude.conf

programmer
  id    = "ft232r_mod";
  desc  = "FT232R Synchronous BitBang";
  type  = "ftdi_syncbb";
  connection_type = usb;
  miso  = 1;  # RxD
  sck   = 0;  # RTS
  mosi  = 2;  # TxD
  reset = 3;  # CTS
;


and invoke avrdude as avrdude -c ft232r_mod -p m328p -P ft0 -U flash:w:led.hex (making sure to use ft0 instead of the serial port name). Alternatively, if you post what your FTDI board is, there may be an exposed pad for the DTR signal, like on Adafruit's FTDI Friend. Finally if neither of those work, and you have a working arduino, you can use it as an isp.