How to flash DM9000CEP V5 board
want to setup the initial settings to enable the board to talk on my network


You don't - that board can't do that itself. That board is just a basic breakout for the DM9000B chip.


  how to setup, for instance a serial connection with 9600 baud serial to program the EEPROM


You can't do that directly. The chip does not support a serial connection in that way.


  can someone tell me which pins to use to initially setup the board?


The DM9000B is a Ethernet-to-parallel interface chip. You need to connect a suitable MCU to that parallel interface you see in the photo, and program the MCU to send appropriate commands to that chip, before the board will do anything useful.

One application would be to use the DM9000B (and add appropriate software, including TCP/IP stack where needed, on the MCU), to add Ethernet connectivity to an MCU which didn't have that functionality built-in.

A more common way to add Ethernet + TCP/IP connectivity to a small MCU, is something like the WIZnet W5100 and related chips.

If you had intended that DM9000B board to do anything "standalone", then unfortunately that was the wrong choice. Sorry for the bad news, but hope that explains why you aren't finding the instructions which you were expecting.