which is the best circuit simulator for my purpose?
The problem is that you are expecting a model to have more functionality than it has. Most models are simply parameters in an equation. They are designed to approximate the actual device behavior within specific operating conditions. For example, a diode is modeled using the following equation:

\$\Large I_f = I_S(e^{\frac{Vf}{NV_t}} - 1)\$

Where Vf is the applied voltage and If is the forward current. Notice that there's nothing stopping me from putting 50V as the applied forward voltage, and I will definitely get an answer from the simulator. It will be completely nonsense, but the model is assuming that the behavior of the diode is always described by that equation.

I have seen device models with voltage breakdowns and melting currents, but typically those are in "high end" models used for IC design. It is specifically coded into the models. I'm using Spectre and HSPICE, but I don't think that's going to help you much. If you MUST use a simulator to identify if a part is going to fail, then you need to understand when the part is going to fail and watch the simulation results for those conditions. 

Relying on a simulator to guarantee whether or not a part works is asking for disaster. Simulators model everything as "ideal" - and that is making a LOT of assumptions. Keep in mind that a simulator considers everything perfect unless told otherwise. Doing conceptual design with a simulator is dangerous.