2.54mm connector question
how do I shop for these in the catalogs?
  


Search for "receptacle" and narrow down the parameters to Headers, Receptacles, Freehanging, Female Sockets, then further narrow your search by number of rows, positions, pitch, etc.


  
  how do I know if the crimp terminators (what's the proper term) are included?
  


If the catalog doesn't make it clear, call the distributor and find out.  On Digikey, for instance, what you see in the picture is generally what you get.


  
  If they're not included, how do I spec those?
  


Check the data sheet.  Some places make this easy - scroll down on this page and you'll see a list of header it mates to, as well as terminals that fit it.


  
  How do I actually connect these to my wires?
  


You'll need a crimping tool.  The manufacturer crimping tools are generally expensive, but some places, such as Radio Shack in the US, have cheap generic crimping tools which work well enough for most uses.  The one I use for prototyping is the Radio Shack 276-1595 that I've had forever.