Selecting wiring hardware for CAN network
The actual connector and wiring impedance is rarely a factor in CANbus installations, the more important ones are that the wiring is either twisted or shielded to reduce outside noise, that any stubs are short, that the termination resistances are placed at the ends, and that your total capacitance is within what all nodes can drive at your data rate.

For 4 meters in length and up to 1Mbit CANFD, you're very free to use just about anything. The industrial gear likes using 3-pin Deutsch connectors because they are water resistant with a strong detent latch, but spade terminals, Molex Micro-Fit, and many other non impedance controlled connectors end up used in quite a lot of trucks and buses, so Ethernet jacks will do the job just fine. Modern Mercedes sprinters running 1Mbit CANFD are using a connector that is practically a 2x9 0.1" header.