Explain kirchoff's law in Plain English
Kirchhoff's current law (KCL): the sum of the currents in a node is zero.  



Say you have 5 wires coming together in a node as shown, and \$I_1\$, \$I_3\$ and \$I_4\$ supply current to the node. This current has to go somewhere, and will go from the node by \$I_2\$ and \$I_5\$:  


  \$ I_2 + I_5 = I_1 + I_3 + I_4 \$


such that  


  \$ I_1 - I_2 + I_3 + I_4 - I_5 = 0 \$


(The minus signs for \$I_2\$ and \$I_5\$ are due to the reversed arrows for those currents.)  

A more general form of KCL says that the current entering a closed boundary is equal to the current leaving it:  



Kirchhoff's voltage law (KVL): the sum of the voltages in a closed circuit is zero. If you have a circuit consisting of a battery and a resistor as a load then the voltage over the resistor is \$\mathrm{-V_{bat}}\$ (the minus sign means that if you go clockwise through your circuit you go from \$-\$ to \$+\$ for the battery, but from \$+\$ to \$-\$ for the resistor).

Total voltage: \$\mathrm{+V_{bat} - V_{bat} = 0}\$.

This goes for every closed loop path you can find in a design, no matter how complicated and how many branches there are.