AC Solid State Relay keeps burning?
If you're trying to run the LED off the mains, I think you'd be hard-pressed - using a single resistor and capacitor - to juggle their values around so your circuit worked reliably.

Here's a way to do it which seems to work very nicely:



and here's the LTspice circuit list just in case you want to play with the circuit. I don't have any IRLEDs in my library, so I substituted a couple of 1N4148's in order to get Vf in the IRLED ballpark.

Version 4
SHEET 1 984 680
WIRE 432 -96 272 -96
WIRE 592 -96 432 -96
WIRE 640 -96 592 -96
WIRE 768 -96 720 -96
WIRE 272 -32 272 -96
WIRE 432 -32 432 -96
WIRE 768 16 768 -96
WIRE 144 80 80 80
WIRE 272 80 272 32
WIRE 272 80 208 80
WIRE 592 112 592 -96
WIRE 80 128 80 80
WIRE 768 208 768 80
WIRE 80 256 80 208
WIRE 432 256 432 32
WIRE 432 256 80 256
WIRE 272 304 272 80
WIRE 432 304 432 256
WIRE 272 416 272 368
WIRE 432 416 432 368
WIRE 432 416 272 416
WIRE 592 416 592 176
WIRE 592 416 432 416
WIRE 768 416 768 272
WIRE 768 416 592 416
WIRE 272 464 272 416
FLAG 272 464 0
SYMBOL voltage 80 112 R0
WINDOW 3 24 96 Invisible 2
WINDOW 123 0 0 Left 2
WINDOW 39 0 0 Left 2
SYMATTR InstName V1
SYMATTR Value SINE(0 170 50 0 0 90)
SYMBOL diode 256 32 M180
WINDOW 0 24 64 Left 2
WINDOW 3 24 0 Left 2
SYMATTR InstName D1
SYMATTR Value 1N4148
SYMBOL diode 256 368 M180
WINDOW 0 24 64 Left 2
WINDOW 3 24 0 Left 2
SYMATTR InstName D2
SYMATTR Value 1N4148
SYMBOL diode 416 32 M180
WINDOW 0 24 64 Left 2
WINDOW 3 24 0 Left 2
SYMATTR InstName D3
SYMATTR Value 1N4148
SYMBOL diode 416 368 M180
WINDOW 0 24 64 Left 2
WINDOW 3 24 0 Left 2
SYMATTR InstName D4
SYMATTR Value 1N4148
SYMBOL cap 208 64 R90
WINDOW 0 -35 32 VBottom 2
WINDOW 3 -33 32 VTop 2
SYMATTR InstName C1
SYMATTR Value 200n
SYMBOL res 736 -112 R90
WINDOW 0 0 56 VBottom 2
WINDOW 3 32 56 VTop 2
SYMATTR InstName R2
SYMATTR Value 100
SYMBOL polcap 576 112 R0
SYMATTR InstName C3
SYMATTR Value 100µ
SYMBOL diode 784 16 M0
WINDOW 0 -24 -4 Left 2
WINDOW 3 -72 67 Left 2
SYMATTR InstName D5
SYMATTR Value 1N4148
SYMBOL diode 784 208 M0
WINDOW 0 -25 -4 Left 2
WINDOW 3 -73 66 Left 2
SYMATTR InstName D6
SYMATTR Value 1N4148
TEXT 120 168 Left 2 ;120RMS
TEXT 286 442 Left 2 !.tran 2