Back-to-Back N-MOSFET inrush current limiting
@20 A, I'd have been looking at relays already, but you likely have a reason for Mosfets.
If opening an alternate path to alleviate the load on the mosfets (routing it through a high wattage resistor) is an option, you could try that.  Essentially you:

Allow a path through a high wattage resistor (this reduces the current that your mosfets would have to halt)
Halt flow through your mosfets
Halt flow through high wattage resistor

General idea is that by splitting it up over 2) and 3) you need to halt smaller currents at each step.  The resistor gives another outlet for the 20mF to discharge while the main path was shut.
That all said, something is bugging me about your mosfet use.  I feel like using all N mosfets (or even all P) and &quot;both directions&quot; is setting off a big red flag somewhere, the kind that tells me not to power a circuit up when those words are together.