Per language menu item settings in node forms
Okay the problem was that I used the Node view permissions module. Which works perfect but not for multilingual websites. That's why they also made Now view language permissions. By installing this and uninstalling the Node view permissions module the problem was solved.

Now it is possible to create a node and its translation and add them to the menu. By unpublishing the translation you see the default one in the menu and hide the translation from the menu in the other language.