Contextual filters with Entity reference
The contextual filter should be "content:nid"

The options should be set as follows...


  The Relationship should be your "Entity Reference: Referenced Entity"
  relationship
  
  Under "When the filter value is NOT available" check "provide default
  value" and select "Content ID from URL"
  
  Apply changes and save view.


I think this is the same thing Renee was saying, just in other words.

Hope this helps - I recently lost a weekend to figuring this out ; )