Why do only some of my hooks get called?
I'm surprised doing a 'print' works at all and does not produce a headers already sent error.
Your hooks may well be being called.
Instead of calling your own console.log function, install the devel module and call dpm('my message');
It will give you a much better idea of what hook is and is not being called.  

eg. (your module with devel enabled).  

function test_module_help ($path, $arg) {
    switch($path) {
        case "admin/help#test_module":
            return '&lt;p&gt;' . t("This is just a test module right now.") . '&lt;/p&gt;';
            break;
    }
}
function test_module_insert ($node) {
    dpm("node inserted");
}
function test_module_user_login_submit (&amp;$form, &amp;$form_state) {
    dpm("login submitted");
}
function test_module_block_view ($delta = '') {
    dpm("block viewed");
}
function test_module_user_login (&amp;$edit, $account) {
    dpm("user logged in");
}
function test_module_user_logout ($account) {
    dpm("user logged out");
}
function test_module_view ($node, $view_mode) {
    dpm("node viewed");
}
function test_module_form_alter (&amp;$form, $form_state, $form_id) {
    dpm("form altered");
}
function test_module_delete ($node) {
    dpm("node deleted");
}
function test_module_form_user_login_alter(&amp;$form, &amp;$form_state, $form_id) {
    dpm("user login form altered");
}