Views to show user referenced to node
It sounds like you need to reference the relationship you created down in the filter criteria. 
In the example below I have a views where I want to display all documents of the current logged in user. 


I created the views showing all documents first. Get your view working the way you want it too first.
Create the relationship - I want documents that are related to who authored them
Filter your view by the author relationship. So in the example below my view is filtered by the current user - and it shows all documents in which the current user is the author. 
Once your view is sorted you can work out the user reference part.


Hope this helps