Ubercart shipping quotes are being based on total before discounts
So apparently I needed a good nights sleep.  For anyone else in my situation, advise your client that this is not a good idea.  Why?  Because you WANT the shipping module to calculate the amount of shipping on the final total WITHOUT coupons because you still need to incur the cost of shipping the items.  (head smack)  

For example - if I changed it to calculate shipping on the total AFTER the coupon is applied, for all the other shipping methods this might bump the customer down to a lower shipping rate - and the store owner would lose money on the shipping.

My solution - exclude free shipping from carts that contain a coupon and create a new free shipping for carts including coupons with a higher $ amount.  For example instead of being $80 for free shipping it would be $100 for free shipping with carts including a coupon.  It's not a perfect solution, but it's better then screwing up all the other shipping settings.