Complex Views / Field Collection question
After some direction from merlinofchaos, here is what I did:


Add the field as an exposed filter
Use form_alter to change it to hidden
Use javascript to set the value to 1, bound to a change event on the date select


Otherwise its like asking for a conditional filter (if filter X has value, then set these filters to Y) which is not so easy in UI.

You could also inspect $_GET and use hook_views_query_alter to add a $query->where, but I had better luck with Javascript.

Hope this helps others.