How can I have the JS/CSS cache refresh on every page load?
As long as you don't have JS or CSS aggregation turned on, you shouldn't have to clear cache to see your changes to existing files. You can see this settings by going to;

Admin->Config->Development->Performance(admin/config/development/performance).

If you are adding new CSS or JS files, you'll probably have to clear cache to register them with the theme system.

If you really want to clear cache on every page load, you should create a custom module that implements hook_init() and runs drupal_clear_css_cache() and drupal_clear_js_cache() (or any other cache clearing functions you may want), but this should be unnecessary.