Tweetable hash function challenge
Python, 5333 4991

I believe this is the first contender to score significantly better than a random oracle.

def H(s):n=int(s.encode('hex'),16);return n%(8**8-ord('+%:5O![/5;QwrXsIf]\'k#!__u5O}nQ~{;/~{CutM;ItulA{uOk_7"ud-o?y&lt;Cn~-`bl_Yb'[n%70]))