What time is it? (Obfuscation)
Analog clock, JS

Analog clock? Challenge accepted.

Golfed/Obfuscated into the zone of not-exactly-understanding-what-it-does-even-after-reading-through-a-few-times:

for(var a=new Date,b=a.getMinutes(),c=a.getHours()+b/60,d=[],e=Math.round,f=Math.PI,g=Math.sin,h=Math.cos,k=0;11&gt;k;k++)d[k]=[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0];for(var l=0;l&lt;f;l+=0.05){var m=e(17/11*5*h(2*l)),n=e(5*g(2*l));d[n+5][m+8]=1}for(var p=0;2.5&gt;=p;p+=0.5){var q=e(17/11*p*h(-(c*f/6)+f/2)),r=e(p*g(-(c*f/6)+f/2));d[r+5][q+8]=2}for(p=0;4.5&gt;=p;p+=0.5){var s=e(17/11*p*h(-(b*f/30)+f/2)),t=e(p*g(-(b*f/30)+f/2));d[t+5][s+8]=3}d[5][8]=1;a="";for(k=d.length-1;-1&lt;k;k--)a+=d[k].join("").replace(/0/g,".").replace(/1/g,"O").replace(/2/g,"h").replace(/3/g,"m")+"\n";console.log(a);


Outputs something like:

.....OOOOOOO......
...OO.......OO....
.OO...........O...
.O...h.........O..
O.....hh.......OO.
O......hOmmmmmmmO.
OO.............OO.
.O.............O..
.OO...........O...
...OO.......OO....
.....OOOOOOO......


...yeah, guess what time it is here. (Hint hint not AM)

Human readable version:

var date = new Date();
var min = date.getMinutes();
var hrs = date.getHours()+(b/60); // set up date
var a=[];
for(var i=0;i&lt;11;i++)a[i]=[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0]; // set up array
function putX(x,y,i){a[y+5][x+8]=i;} // just for source neatness; this is expanded out in the obfuscated version
for(var p=0;p&lt;Math.PI;p+=0.05){ // draw clock border
    putX(Math.round((17/11)*5*Math.cos(2*p)), Math.round(5*Math.sin(2*p)), 1);
}
for(var p=0;p&lt;=2.5;p+=0.5){ // draw hour hand (transforming the angle to work)
    putX(Math.round((17/11)*p*Math.cos(-(hrs*2*Math.PI/12)+(Math.PI/2))), Math.round(p*Math.sin(-(hrs*2*Math.PI/12)+(Math.PI/2))), 2);
}

for(var p=0;p&lt;=4.5;p+=0.5){ // draw the minute hand like the hour hand
    putX(Math.round((17/11)*p*Math.cos(-(min*2*Math.PI/60)+(Math.PI/2))), Math.round(p*Math.sin(-(min*2*Math.PI/60)+(Math.PI/2))), 3);
}

putX(0,0,1); // set the center point

date=""; // reuse date for maximum confusion :)
for(var i=a.length-1;i&gt;-1;i--)date+=a[i].join("").replace(/0/g, ".").replace(/1/g, "O").replace(/2/g, "h").replace(/3/g, "m")+"\n"; // output ASCII art to string
console.log(date); // output string to console