Computers will never taste a refreshing cookie
Zsh, 765 bytes

This may be the first thing I’ve ever written in zsh, but it has the incredibly convenient feature of being able to convert arrays to brace expansions (though it’s not as convenient as it should be…).  Run with zsh -P (counted as +1 byte), which turns on RC_EXPAND_PARAM.



a=able\ to
b=" be $a"
d=wonderful
i=ing\ a
o=omputer
n="No c$o "
r=ever
p=capable\ of
u=will
w=$u\ n$r
x=experienc
e=(\ {{{enjoy,tast,$x'ing eat'}$i,tast$i\ {delicious,fresh,tasty,refreshing,$d}}\ {salad,cake,'ice cream cone',meal,drink,steak,chicken\ dinner,'piece of '{cake,pie},cookie,sandwich},{understand$i,{enjoy,$x}$i{,\ {beautiful,$d,{inspir,amaz}ing,superb}}}\ {son{net,g},poem,story,play,'piece of music'}}.)
f=(${e:s/cing/ce/:s/sting/ste/:s/ding/d/:s/ying/y})
l=($w won\'t$b {$w,n$r\ $u}{$b,' have the ability to'})
v=($l "won't $r$b")
k=({ca,wo}n\'t $l is{"n't ",\ un}$a)
c=(C$o\s A\ c$o)
printf %s\\n $c\ $k$f C$o's '$v$f $n{can,is\ $a,$u\ $r$b,"is $r going to",{can,$u}\ $r}$f{,} $c\ {is{\ in,"n't "}$p,"cannot $x"e}$e $n{{is,$u\ be}\ $p,"can $x"e}$e


Try it online!