How to use diffrent modes at same time on a phone for different callers
By default you can set different ringtones for each contact by hitting the menu button form the contact window and choosing options.  To add vibration into that mix you can use an app called WhoIsIt, that among other things lets you set different vibration patterns for each contact.  

Another way is suggested in this answer.

A more powerful but complicated way to get this done would be to set up different profiles for each caller in an app called Tasker.