Is there a music player that supports play counts and smart playlists?
iSyncr does this. They also do wireless sync. lifehacker article

Unfortunately (for me at least) it uses iTunes and I hate iTunes, but it does work. I think I hated iTunes so much I bought an Android to avoid it, but now have to use it anyway because of the smart playlists. It is the only thing I've found that keeps smart playlists, playcounts, and ratings updated. Everything you said you wanted. Plus you already use iTunes and seem to not hate it. 

I think iSyncr could work for you. :)

You should be able to use the stock music player, MixZing, or a half dozen other popular other android players in combination with the sync app which pushes playcounts and ratings to iTunes.