“There are no android phones associated with this account.”
In short, you have a non-Google-approved device.  That's why there are no Google apps on it.  And you can't download from the Market unless you have the Market installed on your device.

There are ways to get the Market on your device anyways, though.  (See this question).  However, none of those ways will have a "reputable link" for you to download.  You're going outside Google and possibly the law, depending on your jurisdiction.