What's the best way to execute a pulled pork dish?
You definitely want to pill the pork apart with a pair of forks or your fingers. The best way I find is to allow little "clumps" of pork to permeate the mix. 
Note that while books talk about cutting against the grain of meat, that is for raw or cooked meat meant to be sliced and served. The reason you cut against the grain in that situation is to tenderize the meat by cutting the connective tissue. 
In the case of pulled pork, the connective tissue is already broken down and dissolved, so you will have a tender product even when you are pulling with the grain.