how do I toast oats so that they are crispy?
We have succeeded!  The key was to use egg whites (for a vegan version, the liquid from a can of chickpeas works great):

2c. oats

1/4c egg white (or chickpea water)

(nuts and seeds if you want, but the oats will cluster and be crunchy without them)

2Tbsp peanut butter (nut butter of any kind would work, really)

Mix this all together well and lay it out on parchment in a baking sheet.  Bake at 300F for about 40 minutes or so, until things get brown and crispy.  Take it all out, put it into a bowl, and mix in spices.  I like cinnamon, vanilla, and allspice.  You'll need to let it sit (for some reason, honestly I don't know) for about a day in order for the spices to infuse into the granola, and you're golden.