Looking to start cooking....but I'm a total noob. Where should I start?
What @ElendilTheTall suggests is indeed the usual way, and has worked for countless hobby cooks. But the way you describe it, your problem comes from lack of motivation rather than the difficulty of cooking. So you probably need to change your attitude and discover a side of cooking which is fun for you. Then everything will be easier. I, for example, have always been fascinated by cooking as a creative process, but there are different types of cooks. 

A book which is likely to help you is "cooking for geeks". You don't need to fit the media stereotype of a geek to like it. It just has a very systematic approach to cooking, explains things like the way meat changes under heat on pop science level, and deviates into this special kind of experiments a down-to-earth person like my grandma doesn't get, but a typical tinkerer/engineer/geek loves. Prime example: cooking fish in the dishwasher. It starts with the very basic things and is chock full of useful everyday advice. It also has some recipes, although it will probably a good idea to also get a recipe collection book for beginners after you've got started. If you are a stackoverflow user, chances are that you'll like the book. Still, it is a very specific style, so make sure you can leaf through it or have a return right before you buy it. 

Of course, the usual motivation advice counts for cooking as with everything else. Start small, with simple things. Promice yourself a schedule, e. g. "Cooking once a week" and stick with that until you have worked yourslef into a habit or enthusiasm. No sense in declaring "I have to cook dinner every day so I can save XXX until Christmas" and then getting tired of it after a week.