Whole wheat bread recipe not turning out
We have a whole wheat sandwich bread recipe that works just fine. It is certainly possible to get it right every time. As you noticed- if you want to be able to both chew and swallow your bread it does require extra gluten.

To improve your recipe- or at least make it more repeatable- it will help to switch it over to weights. Just make it as you normally would by volume but weigh each ingredient as you measure it out and write it down. You can then reliably tweak your ratios and enjoy predictability of your product.

Baking bread by weight, besides not being as affected by the weather, is also much faster. You don't have to carefully scoop out level cups anymore- you just dump in flour from the bag until the weight is correct.

I will also second the comment above that you might experiment a little bit with a recipe with half whole wheat or less so you can build some experience with what a properly hydrated dough looks like. If you have kids it also helps to break them in to the bitter flavors more gradually.