How to counteract sage (in a pumpkin soup)?
You are not overly pessimistic, there is no such thing as you are trying to do. Smells are not counteractable. 

The most you can do is to reduce the effect, and you have already come across the possible solutions and they don't work for you. 

As we get this type of question all the time, I wrote up a much longer explanation which covers overseasoned food in general, not just soup with sage: I overseasoned my food, what can I do to remove the strong smell?. Please refer to that for a longer explanation of why you can't magically counteract smell.