avrdude: stk500_recv(): programmer is not responding: lilypad arduino
Last time I bought one of the Lilypads, it did not have a bootloader. I had to buy a SMD programmer adapter that presses down over the 328P chip to bootload it as the board did not break out the ICSP pins to any pads.  

I think I got mine here https://hobbyking.com/en_us/atmel-atmega-socket-firmware-flashing-tool.html but I haven't seen them in stock for a while.  Very handy tool tho. Another option is to tack wires to the appropriate uC pins and, connected to a 2x3 header that your Programmer can connect to. Remove the wires when done.