Arduino mini being programmed with CH340G
First of all you should connect the DTR (not the DSR) pin to the reset terminal WITH a 100nF capacitor. See this page or the arduino uno schematics to see how to put the capacitor (it's simply in series with the signal.

However I suggest you to start programming WITHOUT the autoreset; once you are sure that you can program it then try soldering that capacitor to program the arduino without having to hit the reset button.

As for when, watch the IDE status: when it stops compiling and shows the "Uploading" string, press the reset button on the board. You will usually have a couple of seconds to press it.