Arduino Comms disrupted, prevents program loading (catch 22)
I would suggest:


Turn on verbose compilation in the IDE.
Set up as you have been with the right port selected and go to upload - it will fail as normal
Find the avrdude command in the verbose output and copy the full command and its parameters
Open a command prompt or terminal window and paste in the command you copied (but don't run it yet).
Press reset twice to trigger the serial port creation
Run the command you pasted. It should immediately start uploading and "fix" your problem.