Programming Arduino via RX/TX
RS-232 logic uses a negative voltage typically from -3 to -25V to represent a logical high and a positive +3 to +25V to represent a low. On the flip side TTL used on the AtMega uses +5V or +3.3V as a high (or VCC) and 0V as a low. Read more

Other than that the signals are the same logically so all that is needed is to invert the RS232 from -/+ ~12V to 0-5V using a simple converter.

Possibly the easiest approach is to use another Arduino Uno as a programmer, which needs 3 pins, TX, RX, and RESET. This tutorial seems to have some success. Check out "programming an Arduino with another".