Control I2C relay board from two Arduino Uno
What you want is to operate in multi-master mode.  This is a supported configuration of I2C - however the Arduino API has no support for it.

It involves each master identifying if a collision has occurred and stopping transmission if it has - to then retry transmission later on.

The Arduino hardware can do it, but the software can't. You would have to bypass the software and control the I2C interface yourself (or locate a better library than the Wire library that supports multi-master).