Household Membership Identifiers
You can certainly do what you suggest and change the household name to Smith, Tony &amp; Michelle or you could change it to Tony &amp; Michelle Smith.

There are pros and cons for each.

Try it out on your test site, or on one of the demo sites for two different households and pay attention to the form of the Addressee and mail and postal greetings in each case.

Also try searching for the households using both quick and advanced search.  

You will have to decide which format for the household name suits your particular system best.