Player with the Stinkiest Armpits
The most truly objective method may be to conduct a scientifically rigorous poll. You will need a random sampling of people from the world, we'll limit it to native English speakers to ensure that translation doesn't become a concern. Each will need to be kidnapped to prevent self-selection bias, and deprived of both sight and sound so that other factors don't influence the decision. A researcher not playing, and unaware of the order in which the respondents will present their pits will need to explain the experiment, then leave the room. At this point, each armpit should be passed over the respondent's nose at a set speed and distance in a randomized order, after which the researcher should reenter and ask the respondent to rate the stench.
After a representative sample, probably several thousand people, you should be able to say with conviction whose armpits are the stinkiest.

If for some reason the illegality of the prior method concerns you, a less rigorous result could be obtained by passing armpits in front of a single blindfolded volunteer impartial judge, or by a consensus of blindfolded players.