Where can I get my Magic the Gathering play critiqued?
Interesting question. I would generally say that there's not much point having your play critiqued in general - you want to be critiqued by people who are better than you.  But the real pros are generally too busy winning drafts to offer commentaries on other people's (they'd be in serious demand if they weren't).

I therefore have an alternative suggestion: forget about other people discussing your play, just go to a good pro draft videos site like channelfireball.com and try to understand the choices they make (and discuss them with others in the comment section if you don't understand them).

That alone is a bit of a non-answer to your question, I guess.  If you really want to create transcripts of your drafts and offer them up for others to analyse, I'd recommend the MTGSalvation Limited forum.  Not that you can guarantee that people will be interested in going through your picks with a fine-toothed comb and debating them, but you stand a better chance there than in most places, I'd have thought...