Using Inverse Kinematics and/or Pole Targets to move hair bones in unison?
After some heavy research, I found that one simply can't assign multiple bones to a parent bone under the guise of copy rotation or any other such restraint option; it's a 1:1 bone ratio situation. But! Not to worry: I just created a few different bone groups, assigned each hair strand to a group according to its location on the head, and that did it. Still... I wish I could get the hair bones to rotate on its head instead of its base. It seems like I can do that but it'd take some wonky manipulation that doesn't seem worth the cost.

At any rate, this feels like a limitation Blender shouldn't have. I should be able to control multiple bones with one bone like a type of Pole Target bone without the inverse kinematics.