Bone dissapears in edit mode, but seen in pose mode?
I have solved my very stupid question.  I hope this serves well for anyone who happens to stumble across this.
It was hiding in edit mode but not in pose mode.  I think there should be a better way for blender to handle trying to delete hidden bones.  Because it just gives you a menu and it does nothing.  When you come back in pose mode the bone still there. Give me an error message at least?