Can't resize bones that have multiple children
To make bones more visible in the 3dview without altering there size you can use a mesh object as a custom shape, this mesh object can be any size you wish to make it, the initial size of the object will then be linked to the base scale of the bone.

If you have trouble finding bones, the outliner is a great place to find things. You can select an item in the outliner, delete it, rename it... ( RMB for context menu) It includes a search box to easily find items by name with search matches highlighted.

The little + next to an item will show children or other data like animation and materials, &#8679; Shift LMB on the + will expand all sub-items.