How to manipulate a smoke simulation to look like a realistic candle flame
You can control the shape of the flames quite well by shaping the flow object. Here I've used a transparent cone as the flow object. I added some loop cuts to its sides to be able to make it slightly rounded, but I don't think this shape is exactly what you want. You will have to model the shape to fit your needs.  

The flow object's material:
  

The domain material:
  

The flame texture:

The colour ramp is simply the default one from Quick Smoke, with just changed alpha levels.  

The domain settings:
  

The flow object settings:
  

And the result:
  

If you use high transparency on the flames, the flow object may become visible although it's fully transparent. This is because you see where the flames are emitted from. To get around this, simply hide the flow object inside the lighter and make the lighter a collision object, to prevent the flames from seeping through its faces. Depending on whether you want to move the lighter around or not, you will need to change the Collision type. Animated = manual animation, Rigid = automatic animation by rigid body physics, Static = not moving.
  

And an example .blend file  

As I said, you will probably need to model the shape further, and also tweak the settings to your liking. This is simply meant to be a pointer in the right direction.  

Furthermore, you have your flames rising far to fast, and they reach the upper boundary of the domain object before they come together into a singular point. If I were you, I'd delete the entire sim, keeping only the lighter object and start over with the flow and domain objects.