Simulating Yarn Dynamics in Blender
You could maybe look into "SOFA" 
(https://www.sofa-framework.org/)
which is a python based Physics engine for a wide range of things (including your problem i think)
I think there is even a previous version that was connected to blender so that blender uses SOFA as physics engine....

If you should find another solution, in blender or somewhere else, please post it! I'm interested in doing something similar myself!