How to simulate keyboard ESC command using Python builtin modules?
Here is the solution for Windows I was looking for: 

import ctypes

VK_ESCAPE = 0x1B
ctypes.windll.user32.keybd_event(VK_ESCAPE)


Beeing written as a function and appended to bpy.app.handlers.render_pre it simulates pressing ESC on the keyboard and aborts the render.

In my addon I used another solution: it turned out to be possible to replace original Blender main top Render menu with custom one which buttons execute addon's operators instead of original Blender's. It was done by recreating inside the script and re-registering original class TOPBAR_MT_render(bpy.types.Menu) which can be found in your Blender current version folder -> scripts -> startup -> bl_ui -> space_topbar.py

Also I replaced operators for original keymap shortcut settings by editing bpy.context.window_manager.keyconfigs.active.keymaps['Screen'].keymap_items, so in the end user uses the same buttons and shortcuts he used to, but they execute addon's operators instead of original ones, and this is suitable for every system, not only for Windows.