How to classify language as friendly or aggressive with AI?
I did a little search and couldn't find any database that has ground truth for aggressiveness. This means that you need to build yourself a database. This might be huge undertaking. Take thousands of messages, and classify them by hand whether they are aggressive or not. This part is quite labor intensive.

Second part is much easier at start but would be pain to optimize (both performance and computational cost). I would suggest you to start with Naive Bayes classifier for this job. That is the preferred classifier for spam detection. ANN would probably not work for this case because the data would be a huge sparse vector. Estimated number of words in English is over a million, which means the input layer of your ANN should be able to scale up to that number. Search for sparse vector classification for additional classifier that can be used in these cases.