Pre-processing (center, scale, impute) among training sets (different forms) and the test set - what is a good approach?
I thought about it this way: the training and test sets are both a sample of the unknown population. We assume that the training set is representative of the population we're studying. That is, whatever transformations we make to the training set are what we would make to the overall population. In addition, whatever subset of the training data we use, we assume that this subset represents the training set, which represents the population.

So in response to your first question, it's fine to use that shrinked/resmpled training as long as you feel it's still representative of that population. That's assuming your untouched training set captures the "real characteristics" in the first place :)

As for your second question, don't merge the training and testing set. The testing set is there to act as future unknown observations. If you build these into the model then you won't know if the model wrong or not, because you used up the data you were going to test it with.