How to decide which way to triangulate a quad?
A simple heuristic that many 3D content creation apps use is to split along the shorter of the two diagonals of the quad. This generally seems to work pretty well. It minimizes the appearance of long, skinny triangles, which are generally undesirable both for visual and performance reasons.
See this article: Deformation and Triangulation in Maya for some further discussion. In particular if you have a dynamically deforming mesh, you ideally want to retriangulate the quads based on the deformed geometry each frame, or you can get some pretty wonky artifacts if you stick with a fixed triangulation:

(image from the above linked blog post)