There’s no use trying to skirt around this, so let’s cut straight to the chase: A Colorado Springs woman has been taking big craps in front of someone’s house for a few weeks now. They’re calling her the Mad Pooper and she won’t stop. The cops are involved. It appears to be some sort of revenge pooping. I hope you enjoy this report from local CBS outlet KKTV as much as I did. 
 
 
 
 The goofy guy who said, “It’s just not a natural thing we do in our society, to drop your trousers and, uh, and relieve yourself right there when you know there’s people around,” really cut to the heart of the thing. We called the Colorado Springs Police Department, who confirmed that this is indeed a real case being handled by the CSPD’s Falcon Division. 
 
 Pretty much every quote from this story is magnificent: 
 
 “They are like, ‘There’s a lady taking a poop!’ So I come outside, and I’m like ... ‘are you serious?’” Budde recalled. “’Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids!?’ She’s like, ‘Yeah, sorry!’” 
 
 “It’s abnormal, it’s not something I’ve seen in my career,” Sgt. Johnathan Sharketti said. “For someone to repeatedly do such a thing ... it’s uncharted territory for me.” 
 
 “There’s plenty of public restrooms less than a block away from where she’s targeting. This is intentional.” 
 
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 As the TV report indicated, the woman has also been sighted pooping in a Walgreens and in nearby backyards. The presence of bathrooms close by and her propensity for repeat turds clearly show that she doesn’t care about signs, warnings, completing the rest of her runs with mudbutt, or the stigma of a society unenamored with joggers taking drive-by shits in and around their properties. She even brings her own toilet paper. The only questions that remain are mechanical and motivational. 
 
 Is she a world-class crapper, who can shit dozens of times a day and therefore needs the variety? Is she motivated by some animal instinct to befoul as much of the city as physiologically possible? Why doesn’t she pick more prominent targets? Is the Colorado Springs PD ready for retaliatory poopings? What did the Budde family do to her? Is this revenge? 
 
 If you know the Mad Pooper or, better yet, if you are the Mad Pooper, please send me an email. 
 
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 [KKTV] 
 
 h/t Alan ||||| The Budde family says it doesn't know how it came to this. 
 
 A local family has spent weeks trying to get a mystery woman they've dubbed "The Mad Pooper" to stop defecating in their neighborhood, right outside their house. 
 
 Cathy Budde of Colorado Springs says her kids caught the woman first mid-squat, pants down and unashamed. 
 
 "They are like, 'There's a lady taking a poop!' So I come outside, and I'm like ... 'are you serious?'" Budde recalled. "'Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids!?' She's like, 'Yeah, sorry!'" 
 
 The family says it was just the first time it actually caught the runner doing it, but it wouldn't be the last. Budde estimates the runner leaves behind human waste at least once a week. She says "The Mad Pooper" has been at it for the last seven weeks. 
 
 She can't help but laugh at the absurdity of the whole situation. 
 
 "Two other times we've caught her -- caught her yesterday -- she changed up her time a little bit because she knew I was watching," Budde said. 
 
 Now the Colorado Springs Police Department is involved. The department is just as baffled. 
 
 "It's abnormal, it's not something I've seen in my career," Sgt. Johnathan Sharketti said. "For someone to repeatedly do such a thing ... it's uncharted territory for me." 
 
 Officers have asked Budde to take photos of the woman to help identify her. They say the runner could be facing charges of indecent exposure and public defecation. 
 
 "I put a sign on the wall that's like 'please, I'm begging you, please stop.' ... She ran by it like 15 times yesterday, and she still pooped," Budde admits, defeated. 
 
 Budde family members say one of the worst parts is they can't figure out the woman's motives. 
 
 "There's plenty of public restrooms less than a block away from where she's targeting. This is intentional." 
 
 Now they're hoping this story and photos posted online will help flush her out. 
 
 If you can help identify this woman, you can get in touch with the Falcon division of the Colorado Springs Police Department at 719-444-7240 
 
 ||||| Denver Debut Pits Neighbor Against Neighbor In The Garden The Denver debut of the comedy 'Native Garden' is a study in what is means to be a good neighbor. 
 
 Photographer Recreates Old Pictures of Red RocksA new, free exhibit is opening at Red Rocks that shows patrons the past and present of the park. “Red Rocks Park & Amphitheatre Coming of Age/A Photo Exhibit from Yesterday and Today” by author and photographer Larry Johnson is a breathtaking exhibit of 101 large matched up photographs from the park's past and today. ||||| COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. – The “Mad Pooper” of Bob’s Burgers lore might be more than cartoon fiction, according to Colorado Springs police who say a woman has repeatedly done her businesses in people’s yards over the past several weeks. 
 
 A witness snapped photos of the female runner, who has apparently been caught treating people’s yards as toilets on several occasions since July. 
 
 The latest instance happened at a house in the Pine Creek neighborhood, near Briargate Parkway. A woman there told officers her children spotted the woman right in the middle of things. 
 
 “Young kids actually witnessed this and went in and said, ‘Mom, there’s a lady defecating in our yard,’” said Colorado Springs Police Department spokesman Lt. Howard Black. “Maybe they didn’t use that word, but the woman went out and confronted her, and it was clear what she was doing. She just took off.” 
 
 Police say if caught, the woman could face indecent exposure and public defecation charges.
– This probably isn't the top priority for law enforcement, but it's got to be at least No. 2. CBS Denver reports a female jogger has been terrorizing a Colorado Springs neighborhood with random acts of pooping for nearly two months. "'Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids?'" Cathy Budde says she asked the woman. "She’s like, ‘Yeah, sorry.'” Budde says she and her family have caught the woman in the act three times and have dubbed her the "Mad Pooper." (This is a reference to Bob's Burgers, and it's highly suggested you listen to this while reading the rest of this story.) KMGH reports the mystery jogger has pooped in multiple yards, and KKTV states she's also been seen pooping in an area Walgreens. Witnesses say she brings her own toilet paper. Budde says she put up a sign asking the woman to please stop pooping in public. "She ran by it like 15 times yesterday, and she still pooped," says Budde, who believes the woman is doing it on purpose since there are public restrooms nearby. Now the police are getting involved, asking for help identifying the Mad Pooper, who could be charged with indecent exposure and public defecation. "It's abnormal," Sgt. Johnathan Sharketti tells CBS. "For someone to repeatedly do such a thing … it’s uncharted territory for me.” The story has left Deadspin with a few questions: "Is she a world-class crapper, who can shit dozens of times a day and therefore needs the variety? Is she motivated by some animal instinct to befoul as much of the city as physiologically possible? ... Is this revenge?" (There's something off-putting about this Denny's mascot.)