Herman Cain is launching a TV network, and based on the trailer, it's going to be the most unbelievably incredible thing ever to hit our screens. 
 
 Since his failed attempt at the Republican presidential nomination, Cain has branched out into the media world, showing up regularly on Fox News and making plans to host his own radio show. But clearly, none of those things compare to the genius that is to be "Cain TV," a web network that launches on July 4. Cain is following in the footsteps of Glenn Beck, but, judging from the trailer, GBTV has slightly higher production values than Cain TV. 
 
 Now, that trailer. It's a little hard to sum it up, but, in an apparent effort to highlight the variety of programming that can be found on Cain TV, it winds up having an acid-trip surrealism about it that is almost breathtaking to behold. 
 
 Words reading "Cain TV Is Real American Everything!" flash across the screen. Then we see, in succession: 
 
 "COMMENTARY": This consists of a man mumbling negative things about Sandra Fluke. 
 
 "STREET SMARTS WITH LEWIS BROWN": 'I'm Lou from Hollywood," Lou from Hollywood says, "and my mouth don't write checks that my ass can't cash." He proceeds to bash Hillary Clinton. 
 
 "DOCUMENTARIES": Terrorists at the Mexican border! 
 
 A cartoon that shows Ronald Reagan lecturing Barack Obama about the redistribution of wealth. 
 
 "I WANT YOUR MONEY": "a controversial look at government spending." (This features a cartoon Obama as Uncle Sam.) 
 
 "A Uniquely American Look At Hypocrisy": Al Gore. The Kennedys. Noam Chomsky. Michael Moore. All hypocrites. All, presumably, ready for a Cain-esque seeing-to. 
 
 "FAMILY": A CGI cartoon about a dinosaur who finds a red white and blue egg in her nest. Out of it hatches a little dinosaur named Tex. "I love my family, this land and Thanksgiving each fall!" Tex says. 
 
 "FUNNY STUFF": A man named Kivi tells us, "I'm going to make fun of you. And I'm really funny." He then dances to banjo music. 
 
 A cartoon where high taxes and regulations make the boss move a company overseas. "Oh, I hate capitalism," one of the workers says. 
 
 A guy asks people on the street if Saddam Hussein is alive. One person thinks he is. 
 
 And, last but not least: "CAIN": The man himself! After talking about how Ben Franklin called democracy "a well-armed lamb," he cries, "Let's give a lamb a gun! I'm Herman Cain. We are not stupid." 
 
 Wednesday can't come soon enough. ||||| Former Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain gives the Tea Party Express response to U.S. President Barack Obama's State of the Union Address, at the National Press Club in Washington January 24, 2012. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst 
 
 LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Former Republican U.S. presidential candidate Hermain Cain, known for unconventional and conservative views, plans to launch his own TV-style network on the Web, Cain says in a video posted online at CainTV.com. 
 
 CainTV is expected to hit the Internet on Wednesday, July 4, Independence Day holiday in the United States, with a range of programs about politics, economics, border control and street smarts that promise to be “real American.” 
 
 “Hello, I’m Herman Cain. They think we are stupid,” Cain says at the end of the video before the phrase appears: “We are not stupid.” 
 
 “We the people are coming, and we want our power back,” Cain says. 
 
 Cain, 66, a former lobbyist and one-time chief executive of Godfather’s Pizza restaurants in the United States, ran for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination but suspended his campaign in December last year when he was accused of sexual harassment. 
 
 Still, he remains a favorite of some conservatives who like his off-the-cuff style and policies seeking to reduce government and put power in the hands of people. His most famous plan was his “9-9-9” program to significantly change the U.S. tax code. 
 
 One show promoted in the video, “Street Smarts with Lewis Brown” appears to look at politics from the perspective of an everyday person. 
 
 The video promises documentaries on subjects including immigration and one animated show “I Want Your Money” expects to offer a “controversial look at government spending.” ||||| The seed for Wide00014 was: 
 
 - Slash pages from every domain on the web: 
 
 
 
 
 
 -- a ranking of all URLs that have more than one incoming inter-domain link (rank was determined by number of incoming links using Wide00012 inter domain links) 
 
 
 
 -- up to a maximum of 100 most highly ranked URLs per domain 
 
 - Top ranked pages (up to a max of 100) from every linked-to domain using the Wide00012 inter-domain navigational link graph ||||| Remember Herman Cain? Circumstances prevented the Cain Train from derailing the Romney Trolley, but perhaps that's for the best. Because now we have CainTV. Or at least a three-minute trailer that promises more to come. 
 
 At first glance, CainTV looks like a low-budget parody of, well, something (we're not exactly sure what). Poor production values? Check. Jokes that befuddle? Check. Loud people yelling? Yes, indeed. But near as we can tell, this is no parody. This thing is really happening. 
 
 [Related: How to turn a failed presidential campaign into a media career] 
 
 It's unclear if CainTV is a website or an actual TV network or just some video that a kid made on iMovie. But from the looks of the sneak preview, the venture is aiming for a wide audience. There are cartoons that rip President Obama. There's a documentary on border dangers. And there is a man named Kivi dancing across the stage with an odd accent. 
 
 [Related: Radio host Boortz retiring, with Cain to step in] 
 
 It's one of those clips that begs to be watched, rewatched, and then watched again with friends so you can get confirmation that you really did just see a cartoon dinosaur hatch from a red, white, and blue egg and then declare his love for America.
– Herman Cain has an Independence Day gift for America: his own web TV network. Chock-full of "real American" political videos, CainTV.com's programming ranges from animated features to documentaries, Reuters reports. "They think we are stupid," the former candidate says in one clip, "Give a Lamb a Gun," about gun control and the Fast and Furious scandal (watch here). "We are not stupid," a banner declares. Adds Cain: "We the people are coming, and we want our power back." The press coverage in the lead-up to today's big debut has been as, well, quirky as the one-time candidate himself. ("Herman Cain's New TV Network Is Blowing Our Minds" headlines a HuffingtonPost article). Writing for Yahoo, Mike Krumboltz notes that he's not really sure if CainTV is supposed to be a network or a website ... or "some video that a kid made on iMovie." But based on the teaser, Cain is definitely after a big audience, writes Krumboltz. "There are cartoons that rip President Obama. There's a documentary on border dangers. And there is a man named Kivi dancing across the stage with an odd accent." Now how can you pass that up?