Illustration: David Wyffels 
 
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 "I'm working as a low-level clerk in the federal government even though I have a biology degree. Every morning I wake up thinking I wasted four years of my life in college. One day, though, I'll put myself on the right path and become the forensic scientist I've always wanted to be." 
 
 ||||| Anthony Bourdain RIPS Paula Deen -- She's a Diabetic Scam Artist! 
 
 Anthony Bourdain RIPS Paula Deen -- She's a Diabetic Scam Artist 
 
 is puttingON BLAST -- mocking the butter-loving chef for poisoning Americans with unhealthy food ... and now trying to profit off of their illness.In an ultra-transparent Twitter attack -- Bourdain wrote, "Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later."The "" author is presumably pissed that Deen -- who built an empire off her high-fat, high-sugar recipes -- announced she has diabetes ... and subsequently revealed she's become a paid spokeswoman for a diabetes medication.There are reports ... Deen knew about her diabetes for years -- but continued to hock her recipes on her Food Network cooking show, while secretly negotiating the endorsement deal.Obviously, Bourdain sees a serious conflict of interest in Deen's behavior.And it's not the first time Bourdain went for the jugular with Paula -- just last year, he called Deen the "most dangerous person to America" who's "proud of the fact that her food is f**king bad for you."
– Paula Deen, that bastion of moderation and recent convert to the church of Novo Nordisk after her not-so-recent diagnosis of type 2 diabetes, has a memoir out. Well, an Oprah-version of a memoir. Winfrey's magazine asks various celebs and non-celebs to succinctly sum up their lives in a "six-word memoir" in its February issue. Deen participated, and now's your chance to guess how her version reads. A Little Salad Wouldn't Kill You? Or maybe Sorry, America, for Glorifying Fatty Food? No. Deen's six-word take on life is: Might as Well Eat That Cookie. Nemesis Anthony Bourdain still isn't impressed with Deen's antics, notes TMZ, tweeting, "Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later." Click for more on Deen.