"I think unemployment is very important for now, so as of now I think (my vote) is Mitt Romney," said unemployment expert Lindsay Lohan to a group of reporters on Thursday night. "So, as of now, Mitt Romney. As of now." 
 
 Four years ago, Lindsay Lohan was a lesbian-rights activist, a pro-choice advocate and an Obama supporter. She was in that relationship with Samantha Ronson and laying attacks on McCain running mate Sarah Palin on MySpace (yes MySpace). "I really cannot bite my tongue anymore when it comes to Sarah Palin. ... Is it a sin to be gay? Should it be a sin to be straight? Or to use birth control? Or to have sex before marriage? Or even to have a child out of wedlock?" wrote Lohan. 
 
 And as the Chicago Sun-Times's Bill Zwecker reported (the story has been since taken down) back then, she even asked the Obama's campaign if she could stump for them and was well, given the "thanks but no thanks" answer given her not-very-sober public image at the time. An unnamed source in the campaign told the Sun-Times that Lohan "is not exactly the kind of high-profile star who would be positive for us." 
 
 Four years and several car accidents later, here we are again. Now, who knows, maybe Romney, having struck out on the elusive Nicki Minaj endorsement, whiffing on Madonna and getting snubbed by Lena Dunham, will actually accept this Lohan endorsement despite her shoddy reputation (Lohan was last seen in a club brawl fighting her mom Dina about cab fare). After all, Lindsay is the face of the Obama administration's economic failure and now has to accept roles where she has to make out with Charlie Sheen. Karl Rove, are you listening? 
 
 Want to add to this story? Let us know in comments or send an email to the author at aabadsantos at theatlantic dot com. You can share ideas for stories on the Open Wire. 
 
 Alexander Abad-Santos ||||| Old soul and sad daughter Lindsay Lohan announced her intentions last night to vote for Mitt Romney in the upcoming election, E! reports, essentially ending the contest. "I just think employment is really important right now," said the troubled sometimes-actress, whose career since the mid-aughts resembles that of the dude from the Dell commercials, but with more arrests. "So, as of now, Mitt Romney," Lohan clarified. "As of now." Because everything she does is complicated, she added, "It's a long story, but you're going to have to wait for that." 
 
 Now, we would bet real money on Lohan not being registered to vote, or at least not showing up, but at least she is focused on the issues most relevant to her life right now, dark as it may be. (Last month, she tweeted at Barack Obama requesting a tax cut.) It is true — there are a lot of starlets out of work. ||||| Even when you live in a snow globe full of vodka and cocaine, the job crisis weighs heavily on your mind, as proven by Lindsay Lohan last night when she went out to promote a ginseng drink in Los Angeles. When asked who she plans to back in the election, she replied: "I just think employment is really important right now. So, as of now, Mitt Romney. As of now." 
 
 Not to harp on Stacey Dash's much-ballyhooed Republican endorsement, but now the two of them can dress up for Halloween as Mitt's top half and Mitt's bottom half. [E!] 
 
 The best thing about LiLo's terrible 2005 movie Just My Luck is probably this enlightening story about a drummer from British pop band McFly named Harry Judd who met and tried to have sex with her back then. He says that before he and a friend sat down with Lohan for dinner, she was already talking about all the "A-list" celebrities she's boned. "As we sat and ate, she told us all these stories - graphic stories about her sex life, enough to put us off our steaks." 
 
 Nevertheless, Judd persevered, and won her over with this line: "This was like Notting Hill, I told her. I was Hugh Grant and she was Julia Roberts. She loved that." Ughhh, that would work. Eventually, the two "got to second base," but Judd's friend walked in on them and then Lohan sobered up and said he had to be out by eight. Romance! [Express] 
 
 P.S., Dina Lohan's $1.3 million in the hole. [NY Post] 
 
 Advertisement 
 
 During a performance in Los Angeles last night, Madonna dedicated her song "Human Nature" to Malala Yousafzai, the 14-year-old Pakistani women's education activist who was shot in the head and neck and seriously injured by the Taliban on Tuesday. 
 
 "This made me cry," she told the crowd. "The 14-year-old schoolgirl who wrote a blog about going to school. The Taliban stopped her bus and shot her. Do you realize how sick that is?" She later revealed that the name Malala was written on her back. Obviously, it's not the first time that Madonna has attempted to get an political or international message out on her MDNA tour: she was a major supporter of Pussy Riot and has been vocal about her support for President Obama. [Rolling Stone] 
 
 Advertisement 
 
 Nelly's tour bus got detained at a border control checkpoint in Sierra Blanca and cops found 36 small baggies of heroin and over ten pounds of weed (let me just repeat that: ten pounds of weed), plus a .45 caliber handgun. One of the seven tour bus passengers confessed that the contraband was all his and he was taken into Texas custody. The others were released, but Nelly's fucking pissed at the guy anyway: 
 
 [TMZ] 
 
 
 
 Without further ado, Snoop Dogg Lion's tribute to his favorite snack, Hot Pockets. You now owe me your firstborn child. [The Life Files] 
 
 Advertisement 
 
 Slow-ass runners, take heart, for Mindy Kaling is one of us. She discussed how hard it is to eat healthy on the set of a show named after you for at least nineteen hours a day. "I'd love to lose 15 pounds and exercise five to seven times a week," she said, but she mostly just goes on runs when she has the time, at a pace that kind of embarrasses her: "I'm talking about an 11-minute mile over an hour and a half." [Us Weekly] 
 
 Advertisement 
 
 Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIF 
 
 This has been going on for months already, but Mad Men onscreen lovers Vincent Kartheiser and Alexis Bledel finally debuted in public as bee-eff/gee-eff. [NYDN]
– Somehow, we don't see Mitt Romney stumping with his latest endorser: Lindsay Lohan. It seems the starlet is concerned with unemployment—and there are so many jokes to make here about why that might be, we won't even go there—and that's why she's voting Romney, she said last night at a launch party in LA. There's apparently more to her support for Romney—"It's a long story, but you're going to have to wait for that," she said, though we're not really sure we want to know. The New York Post notes that LiLo—who called President Obama's victory four years ago "amazing"—tweeted the president last month asking him to cut taxes … for millionaires. Some reactions to her endorsement: Alexander Abad-Santos waxes nostalgic on the Atlantic Wire: "Four years ago, Lindsay Lohan was a lesbian-rights activist, a pro-choice advocate and an Obama supporter. She was in that relationship with Samantha Ronson and laying attacks on McCain running mate Sarah Palin on MySpace (yes MySpace)." "Most of what LiLo knows about unemployment comes from being under house arrest," writes Jessica Wakeman on The Frisky. "Even when you live in a snow globe full of vodka and cocaine, the job crisis weighs heavily on your mind," writes Anna Breslaw on Jezebel. "Not to harp on Stacey Dash's much-ballyhooed Republican endorsement, but now the two of them can dress up for Halloween as Mitt's top half and Mitt's bottom half." "We would bet real money on Lohan not being registered to vote, or at least not showing up, but at least she is focused on the issues most relevant to her life right now, dark as it may be," writes Joe Coscarelli on Daily Intel. He also compares her current career trajectory to "that of the dude from the Dell commercials, but with more arrests."