Amadoda Avulelana Isifu ba: Yiba Yindoda Msanami

Nanyana umkati kada dwabo owayehlomile atje la umsanyana lo ukuthi abhambalale angaqali okwe nzekako, kodwana usa wuzwa umkhosi kadadwabo nanamhlanjesi.

 Ngemva kokukata, umuntu loyo wabalayela ukuthi bagi jime bangaqali emva. Bathi basakhamba kabuhlungu njalo basiya ekhaya, udadwa bo wambawa ukuthi amthe mbise ukuthi angeze atjela muntu ngokukatwa kwakhe.
U-Tshepo wasigcina isithe mbiso sakhe, kodwana ifihlo leyo yamhlalisa kabuhlungu kumbi.
 “Nangikhulako ngangiphele ngimbone e-Katlehong umkati owakata udadwethu; lokho-ke bekwenza ihliziywami ibe nzi ma khulu. Azange ngikghone ukwamukela ukuthi angase aphunyurhe njalo emlandwini awenzako.”  Wathi angakhula, selamu muntu omutjha onamandla, u-Tshepo azange asakghona ukubamba ukusilingeka kwakhe, ngalokho-ke wayethi qho nakahlangana nomkati kada dwabo lo, ambethe. Wathi kanti ngemvelwakhe wayemntwana owayephila ngokuthula, wa gcina selamumuntu omutjha ohlala anegwebu. Zimbili izinto ezasindisa u-Tshepo enturhwini ayesele aphila ngayo. Kokuthoma, wayebusiswe ngoyise nomna kwabo ababesazi ukuthi intu rhu ayisipendulo, begodu nanyana babengazi ukuthi u-Tshepo wenziwa yini abe nenturhu ngendlela ayenga kho, kodwana baphumelela ukumbuyisela endleleni elu ngileko.
Kwesibili kwaba kulamula kwepholisa lesiporweni ela mbona mhlazana abetha umka ti kadadwabo kokugcina.
Umkati loyo wasala ephuke umlenze, kodwana u-Tshepo wathi nakahlathululela ama pholisa ukuthi umuntu loyo wenzani ngemva kweminyaka leyo yoke, abona ukuthi akamlise, amyelelisa nje kwaphela. Umkati wasiwa esibhedlela, kodwana azange avule umla ndu wokulinyazwa.
Kodwana-ke ukukatwa  kwabantu abasikazi kwa kusolo kukhona, kuyinto ehlala isenzeka, ngalokho-ke u-Tshepo naye wayesolo ane hliziyo ebuhlungu.
Wathi ngesikhathi amfundi e-Pretoria Technikon, wafaka isandla sokusungula isiqhema sokulimukisa nokuphandlulu la abantu abaduna ngendima ekufuze bayilime emphakathi ni, kwabe kwathi ngomnyaka wee-2004, watlolisa ihlangano,  i-South African Men’s Action Group (i-SAMAG), yaba yihla ngano engasiyombuso ne ngenzi inzuzo.
 Namhlanje i-SAMAG ine tjhumi labasebenzi abasebenza kiyo ngokupheleleko, kanti-ke isebenza e-Gauteng, eFreyista ta, eTlhagwini Tjingalanga, eLimpopo neMpumalanga.
Iqalene nokukhuthaza bona kulethwe amatjhuguluko. Owona mlayezo esime  ngawo uthi ‘Amado da Wamambala Aka bakhahlumezi Abantu Abasi kazi (Real men don’t abuse wom en)’. “Igama lesiNgisi elithi Real nalitlharululwako ngokwa maledere lihlathulula lokhu: Responsible  (Yiba nokuziphe ndulela), Enlightened  (Phucuki leko), Archetypal  (Yiba Sibone lo), Loving  (Yiba neThando)” kutjho u-Tshepo.
“Ubunengi babantu abaduna bangenwe mummoya wokuthi amadoda ngiwo abusa yoke into. Babebethwa nababa ntwana, ngalokho-ke ababoni ukuthi kubayini bangaka faneli bakhulise abentwaba bo ngendlela abakhuliswe ngayo nabo. Ngokwamasiko amanengi kubusa amado da, kanti abantu abasikazi bona bathathwa ukuthi  bayafana bebayalingana  nabentwana, ngalokho kulu ngile ukuthi bakhalinywe nge ndlela efanako nekukhali nywa ngayo abenwana,”  kutjho  u-Tshepo. Woke umuntu unendima eku fuze ayilime ekutjhugululeni iinkolelo nengqondo eyakhe lelwa ebantwini, kuhlathulula  u-Tshepo. Ukholwa ukuthi abantwana kufuze bakhuliswe ngapha ndle kokubafaka ummoya wokuthi abantwana ababe ntazana kufuze balandele ikambiso nendlela ethileko yepilo kuthi nabesana bala ndele ikambiso nendlela yokuphila ebekelwe bona bodwa. Kufanele baphathwe njengabantwana, hayi ngo kuthi babentazana namkha babesana begodu abobaba ku fanele bazijayeze ukubamba  indima ekukhulisweni nepi lweni yabentwababo. *U-Tshepo Mofokeng akusilibizo lakhe lamambala. Ungathintana ne-SAMAG ku: 011 022 9007.