I hate this game.  I cannot express in words the degree to which I hate this game.  If this game were a person, I could run it down with my car and not feel the slightest twinge of ethical concern.  I hate it so much it leads me to forget things that I've been trained to know are right and good and simply shout expletives in its general direction for the next few hundred words.  Fortunately for this game, I'm not quite that much of a jerk.

Imagine that you took Test Drive: Unlimited and the last decent Burnout title, smashed them together, and then carefully excised everything even remotely fun from the mangled monstrosity that resulted.  There, my friend, you have found Burnout Paradise.  Everything about Revenge that entertained me enough to keep from snapping the disc in half and tossing it into traffic has been removed from this game, and I can't in good conscience recommend it to anybody.

One thing that I can't fault the game for is its appearance, which is certainly a step up.  The game is definitely beautiful.  Driving through Paradise City, you get to see a lot of different environments, and every single one springs off the screen and directly into your face like some kind of carnivorous monster.  When it comes to useful visuals for the gameplay, however, there's some problems with the level of detail included in the game's environments - specifically, I have a hard time figuring out where the bloody road turns in some locations.  This is worst in the downtown areas and best on the outskirts of town, but ANY time I miss my turn because it doesn't look like there's a road there at all, somebody needs to yell at the graphical designer.

The game sound is mostly unremarkable, so let's not.  It won't make you physically angry, and I guess that you might like the soundtrack (I personally loathed roughly 80% of the included music, but that's not atypical for me with an EA title), but it's not going to pleasure you sexually or make you reevaluate your life.

My problems with the game all have to do with the gameplay, or, rather, the lack thereof.  If you've played Revenge, you might remember fun modes like Traffic Attack or Crash Mode.  Those were pretty terrific, right?  Well, they're gone.  Not only are they gone, but some of the fundamental rules that you would have learned from prior games in the series have been utterly invalidated.  The big one is the rules on What Kind of Traffic Causes Crashes.  In Revenge, they had a simple rule - if you could see headlights or it was a truck, you would wreck into it.  Otherwise, you knock it to the side.  I don't know what they replaced that with, but I DO know that in the first hour I played, I wrecked against no fewer than ten cars stopped at intersections, smaller than me, facing away from me.

Of greater concern is the bald stupidity that comes from building an open world street racing game in a world that nobody has ever been to.  If this game were set in San Marcos, TX, I'd be all over it because I KNOW WHERE THOSE STREETS ARE.  I don't know where anything is in this game and the game doesn't do anything at all to help you learn.  I'm faced, as a newcomer, with the choice between spending ten hours losing hard just to learn where everything is (not fun) and just plain losing because I don't know where anything is (also not fun).  Closed tracks are fun because it's hard to get lost.  I got lost in three of my first ten events in this game and ended up on practically the wrong side of town.  That's bad.

I could go on for a thousand more words, but I won't belabor my point too heavily.  The game has been well received, and maybe it's just me.  Maybe people who like "open world" style games will find something to enjoy here.  I didn't.  I found Test Drive to be a better implementation of the idea.  With limited modes that mostly feel identical, no Crash mode (seriously - Crash mode was a puzzle game and that was FUN; Showtime is entirely random), undirected gameplay, poor layout, and any number of other problems, this game would have to come with chocolate cake and my own personal supermodel before I would even consider recommending it.  There's a lot of potential for an open world Burnout game, but this isn't the game to realize that dream.
I hate this game. I cannot express in words the degree to which I hate this game. If this game were a person, I could run it down with my car and not feel the slightest twinge of ethical concern. I hate it so much it leads me to forget things that I've been trained to know are right and good and simply shout expletives in its general direction for the next few hundred words. Fortunately for this game, I'm not quite that much of a jerk. Imagine that you took Test Drive: Unlimited and the last decent Burnout title, smashed them together, and then carefully excised everything even remotely fun from the mangled monstrosity that resulted. There, my friend, you have found Burnout Paradise. Everything about Revenge that entertained me enough to keep from snapping the disc in half and tossing it into traffic has been removed from this game, and I can't in good conscience recommend it to anybody. One thing that I can't fault the game for is its appearance, which is certainly a step up. The game is definitely beautiful. Driving through Paradise City, you get to see a lot of different environments, and every single one springs off the screen and directly into your face like some kind of carnivorous monster. When it comes to useful visuals for the gameplay, however, there's some problems with the level of detail included in the game's environments - specifically, I have a hard time figuring out where the bloody road turns in some locations. This is worst in the downtown areas and best on the outskirts of town, but ANY time I miss my turn because it doesn't look like there's a road there at all, somebody needs to yell at the graphical designer. The game sound is mostly unremarkable, so let's not. It won't make you physically angry, and I guess that you might like the soundtrack (I personally loathed roughly 80% of the included music, but that's not atypical for me with an EA title), but it's not going to pleasure you sexually or make you reevaluate your life. My problems with the game all have to do with the gameplay, or, rather, the lack thereof. If you've played Revenge, you might remember fun modes like Traffic Attack or Crash Mode. Those were pretty terrific, right? Well, they're gone. Not only are they gone, but some of the fundamental rules that you would have learned from prior games in the series have been utterly invalidated. The big one is the rules on What Kind of Traffic Causes Crashes. In Revenge, they had a simple rule - if you could see headlights or it was a truck, you would wreck into it. Otherwise, you knock it to the side. I don't know what they replaced that with, but I DO know that in the first hour I played, I wrecked against no fewer than ten cars stopped at intersections, smaller than me, facing away from me. Of greater concern is the bald stupidity that comes from building an open world street racing game in a world that nobody has ever been to. If this game were set in San Marcos, TX, I'd be all over it because I KNOW WHERE THOSE STREETS ARE. I don't know where anything is in this game and the game doesn't do anything at all to help you learn. I'm faced, as a newcomer, with the choice between spending ten hours losing hard just to learn where everything is (not fun) and just plain losing because I don't know where anything is (also not fun). Closed tracks are fun because it's hard to get lost. I got lost in three of my first ten events in this game and ended up on practically the wrong side of town. That's bad. I could go on for a thousand more words, but I won't belabor my point too heavily. The game has been well received, and maybe it's just me. Maybe people who like "open world" style games will find something to enjoy here. I didn't. I found Test Drive to be a better implementation of the idea. With limited modes that mostly feel identical, no Crash mode (seriously - Crash mode was a puzzle game and that was FUN; Showtime is entirely random), undirected gameplay, poor layout, and any number of other problems, this game would have to come with chocolate cake and my own personal supermodel before I would even consider recommending it. There's a lot of potential for an open world Burnout game, but this isn't the game to realize that dream.