"3 Ninjas", as a concept, is pretty stupid.  Three white kids are taught in the art of ninjitsu by their Japanese grandfather, whom none of their parents look remotely Asian (I guess one of them was adopted).  The kids use their impossible abilities to fight evil ninjas in broad daylight, while making cartoony sound-effects and awful one-liners.  And people complain about "Naruto" disregarding the art of the ninja?  Regardless, it's a stupid concept that's marketable, but there comes a time where a franchisable product can go too far after many sequels.  "High Noon on Mega Mountain" represent the franchise pushing the bar as low as it can get, a heinous amateur production far from intelligence and fun.  There's only two reasons to praise it: one, no fart jokes; two, I saw it for free (legally, of course).

I can't even fathom how dumb the story of "High Noon on Mega Mountain" really is: it's about kid ninjas trying to stop pirate ninjas that's hijacking a theme park.  This story makes "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" look like "Die Hard".  It's easy to blame the kids for all the movie's faults, especially since the actors are totally different from the original leads.  Plus the new kids are terrible, especially the kid who played Tum-Tum, what with his sickening smile, his dopey voice and how awkward he fights; it's bizarre how the bad guys are defeated by this kid.  But in my opinion, they're not the main fault of the movie so much as they're irritants.  It's the villains that made this movie truly disastrous.

It upsets me how these villains stoop so low just to make this movie kid-friendly, despite several contradictions.  Nevermind how bad it is that they're controlled by a dominatrix from "WKRP" and&nbsp;<a data-hook="product-link-linked" class="a-link-normal" href="/the-guy-who-voiced-a-slinky-dog/dp/B000EOOVMA/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_rvw_txt?ie=UTF8">the guy who voiced a slinky dog</a>, but their entire operation is messed up.  Why do they need ninjas for?  They're a terrorist group with guns, and there's no point in stealth once the hijacking is done, so I don't see the point in having shadow warriors waving their toy swords around.  Is it just so the kid ninjas can fight other ninjas for the movie's purpose?  It could've been acceptable to have regular baddies doing martial-arts; there's no real use of ninjitsu anyway, they're just roundhousing each other.  I don't understand their actions, such as apprehending Hulk Hogan.  Why are they so threatened over a TV actor?  Granted, Hulk Hogan did cause some trouble later on, but how would they know that?  And what's the point in relying on incompetent lackeys to fend off kid ninjas, especially since Loni knows they're incompetent?  Is the movie so desperate for laughs that it needs morons to get their butts kick in moronic ways for slapstick?  And what's the point in kidnapping that one character near the end of the movie if they're just gonna leave her behind, especially when they had a good opportunity to just escape unnoticed?  It's like the sole purpose of that kidnapping is so the good guys can follow them.

And then there are the moments in the film that are just devoid of logic. One scene had the bad guys shooting the cops and they weren't hurt; the cops were in the line of fire, they were up close, so how come they aren't riddled with bullets? Another scene was when Hulk Hogan tried to escape from the bad guys, and they were shooting him from atop of the roller coaster platforms. Of course, they missed, but here's the thing; when Hulk escaped by sliding down a wire, there were people below him; shouldn't the bullets that miss him end up hitting the civilians? There could've been a pile of bodies lying in their own blood if this wasn't a kid's film. And here's the most baffling part of the whole movie: the ninjas found a timebomb and they taped it to 3 gas canisters so they can blast it at the bad guy's ship; despite how small the canisters are and the limited amount of compressed air they have, they manage to rocket the canisters from the inside of the park to  the ship, which is probably several miles away from the beachline...within a 20-second timer.

Did I mention "High Noon on Mega Mountain" is directed by someone who also directed the "Bratz" movie?  If that doesn't warn people about its awfulness, I don't know what will.  I'm surprised this movie even had a theatrical release, this has all the qualities of a direct-to-video release.  It doesn't stand the test of time, because it didn't bother to grow up.
"3 Ninjas", as a concept, is pretty stupid. Three white kids are taught in the art of ninjitsu by their Japanese grandfather, whom none of their parents look remotely Asian (I guess one of them was adopted). The kids use their impossible abilities to fight evil ninjas in broad daylight, while making cartoony sound-effects and awful one-liners. And people complain about "Naruto" disregarding the art of the ninja? Regardless, it's a stupid concept that's marketable, but there comes a time where a franchisable product can go too far after many sequels. "High Noon on Mega Mountain" represent the franchise pushing the bar as low as it can get, a heinous amateur production far from intelligence and fun. There's only two reasons to praise it: one, no fart jokes; two, I saw it for free (legally, of course). I can't even fathom how dumb the story of "High Noon on Mega Mountain" really is: it's about kid ninjas trying to stop pirate ninjas that's hijacking a theme park. This story makes "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" look like "Die Hard". It's easy to blame the kids for all the movie's faults, especially since the actors are totally different from the original leads. Plus the new kids are terrible, especially the kid who played Tum-Tum, what with his sickening smile, his dopey voice and how awkward he fights; it's bizarre how the bad guys are defeated by this kid. But in my opinion, they're not the main fault of the movie so much as they're irritants. It's the villains that made this movie truly disastrous. It upsets me how these villains stoop so low just to make this movie kid-friendly, despite several contradictions. Nevermind how bad it is that they're controlled by a dominatrix from "WKRP" and&nbsp;<a data-hook="product-link-linked" class="a-link-normal" href="/the-guy-who-voiced-a-slinky-dog/dp/B000EOOVMA/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_rvw_txt? ie=UTF8">the guy who voiced a slinky dog</a>, but their entire operation is messed up. Why do they need ninjas for? They're a terrorist group with guns, and there's no point in stealth once the hijacking is done, so I don't see the point in having shadow warriors waving their toy swords around. Is it just so the kid ninjas can fight other ninjas for the movie's purpose? It could've been acceptable to have regular baddies doing martial-arts; there's no real use of ninjitsu anyway, they're just roundhousing each other. I don't understand their actions, such as apprehending Hulk Hogan. Why are they so threatened over a TV actor? Granted, Hulk Hogan did cause some trouble later on, but how would they know that? And what's the point in relying on incompetent lackeys to fend off kid ninjas, especially since Loni knows they're incompetent? Is the movie so desperate for laughs that it needs morons to get their butts kick in moronic ways for slapstick? And what's the point in kidnapping that one character near the end of the movie if they're just gonna leave her behind, especially when they had a good opportunity to just escape unnoticed? It's like the sole purpose of that kidnapping is so the good guys can follow them. And then there are the moments in the film that are just devoid of logic. One scene had the bad guys shooting the cops and they weren't hurt; the cops were in the line of fire, they were up close, so how come they aren't riddled with bullets? Another scene was when Hulk Hogan tried to escape from the bad guys, and they were shooting him from atop of the roller coaster platforms. Of course, they missed, but here's the thing; when Hulk escaped by sliding down a wire, there were people below him; shouldn't the bullets that miss him end up hitting the civilians? There could've been a pile of bodies lying in their own blood if this wasn't a kid's film. And here's the most baffling part of the whole movie: the ninjas found a timebomb and they taped it to 3 gas canisters so they can blast it at the bad guy's ship; despite how small the canisters are and the limited amount of compressed air they have, they manage to rocket the canisters from the inside of the park to  the ship, which is probably several miles away from the beachline... within a 20-second timer. Did I mention "High Noon on Mega Mountain" is directed by someone who also directed the "Bratz" movie? If that doesn't warn people about its awfulness, I don't know what will. I'm surprised this movie even had a theatrical release, this has all the qualities of a direct-to-video release. It doesn't stand the test of time, because it didn't bother to grow up.