The first writer may want to consider adopting or in vitro conception.  Once she feels confident that she has a motherhood plan of one sort or another, hopefully she can relax and enjoy the new boyfriend and see what develops.  Knowing that her chance to be a parent no longer hinges on getting this guy (or any other) to hurry up and commit to her and pursue pregnancy will help him make decisions without so much pressure.  This route does entail accepting the significant possibility that she may be a single parent, but at least she can probably afford child care.  I chose to adopt a foreign born baby girl 25 years ago after divorcing a man who had promised before the marriage that we would make or adopt at least one baby, then changed his mind a few years into the marriage.  Single parenthood was never my Plan A, but I was not willing to forfeit the chance to raise a child that I had dreamed of since preschool.  It was the best decision of my life.  But she should know that pursuing a new relationship once she has a baby or child is extremely difficult, as the time and emotional investment needed for both parenting and romance are exhausting even if one is adapted to the demands of neurosurgery.

The first writer may want to consider adopting or in vitro conception.  Once she feels confident that she has a motherhood plan of one sort or another, hopefully she can relax and enjoy the new boyfriend and see what develops.  Knowing that her chance to be a parent no longer hinges on getting this guy (or any other) to hurry up and commit to her and pursue pregnancy will help him make decisions without so much pressure.  This route does entail accepting the significant possibility that she may be a single parent, but at least she can probably afford child care.  I chose to adopt a foreign born baby girl 25 years ago after divorcing a man who had promised before the marriage that we would make or adopt at least one baby, then changed his mind a few years into the marriage.  Single parenthood was never my Plan A, but I was not willing to forfeit the chance to raise a child that I had dreamed of since preschool.  It was the best decision of my life.  But she should know that pursuing a new relationship once she has a baby or child is extremely difficult, as the time and emotional investment needed for both parenting and romance are exhausting even if one is adapted to the demands of neurosurgery.

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