", ▁while ▁an ▁article ▁entitled ▁" Will iam ▁Shakespeare , ▁Sports ▁Comment ator " ▁was ▁part ▁of ▁" The ▁Play - By - Play ' s ▁the ▁Th ing ▁Department ". ▁ ▁Long - running ▁features ▁had ▁equally ▁long - running ▁headers : ▁Sp y ▁vs . ▁Sp y ▁is ▁file d ▁under ▁the ▁" J oke ▁and ▁D agger ▁Department ", ▁Dave ▁Berg ' s ▁" L ighter ▁Side ▁of ..." ▁always ▁ran ▁within ▁the ▁" B erg ' s ▁E ye ▁View ▁Department ", ▁and ▁many ▁of ▁Frank ▁Jacob s ' ▁articles ▁come ▁under ▁the ▁" Fran k ▁on ▁a ▁Roll ▁Department ". ▁Don ▁Martin ' s ▁cra zy ▁cart o ons ▁were ▁simply ▁label led ▁" Don ▁Martin ▁Department ", ▁with ▁further ▁fan fare ▁pres umably ▁being ▁unnecessary . ▁Dick ▁De B art olo ' s ▁articles ▁occasionally ▁are ▁head ed ▁under ▁the ▁" D ick ▁De Part ment ", ▁while ▁some ▁of ▁D uck ▁Ed wing ' s ▁articles ▁were ▁l abeled ▁as ▁the ▁" T ales ▁from ▁The ▁D uck ▁Side " ▁De pt . ▁Most ▁of ▁the ▁magazine ' s ▁other ▁rec urr ing ▁features ▁have ▁had ▁their ▁own ▁continu ing ▁" Dep art ment ". ▁ ▁Each ▁Table ▁of ▁Cont ents ▁c ites ▁one ▁article ▁that ▁does ▁not ▁actually ▁exist . ▁Ex amples ▁of ▁these ▁imag inary ▁list ings ▁have ▁included ▁" S anta ▁Cla us , ▁P orn ▁Star "; ▁" What ▁if ▁Cap ' n ▁Cr unch ▁Was ▁Br ought ▁Before ▁a ▁Military ▁Trib