* A * S * H . ▁Mike ▁Alt man ▁was ▁ 1 4 ▁years ▁old ▁when ▁he ▁wrote ▁the ▁song ’ s ▁lyr ics . ▁▁ ▁The ▁song ▁was ▁written ▁specifically ▁for ▁Ken ▁P ry mus , ▁the ▁actor ▁playing ▁Private ▁Se id man , ▁who ▁sang ▁it ▁during ▁the ▁ ▁f aux - su ic ide ▁of ▁Walter ▁" P ain less ▁P ole " ▁Wald owski ▁( John ▁Sch uck ) ▁in ▁the ▁film ' s ▁" Last ▁Su pper " ▁scene . ▁Director ▁Robert ▁Alt man ▁had ▁two ▁st ip ulations ▁about ▁the ▁song ▁for ▁Mand el : ▁it ▁had ▁to ▁be ▁called ▁" Su ic ide ▁Is ▁P ain less " ▁and ▁it ▁had ▁to ▁be ▁the ▁" st up id est ▁song ▁ever ▁written ". ▁Alt man ▁attempted ▁to ▁write ▁the ▁lyr ics ▁himself , ▁but ▁upon ▁finding ▁it ▁too ▁difficult ▁for ▁his ▁ 4 5 - year - old ▁brain ▁to ▁write ▁" st up id ▁enough ," ▁he ▁gave ▁the ▁task ▁to ▁his ▁ 1 4 - year - old - son ▁Michael , ▁who ▁wrote ▁the ▁lyr ics ▁in ▁five ▁minutes . ▁▁ ▁Alt man ▁later ▁decided ▁that ▁the ▁song ▁worked ▁so ▁well , ▁he ▁would ▁use ▁it ▁as ▁the ▁film ' s ▁main ▁theme , ▁despite ▁Mand el ' s ▁initial ▁ob jections . ▁This ▁version ▁was ▁s ung ▁by ▁un cred ited ▁session ▁sing ers ▁John ▁Bah ler , ▁Tom ▁Bah ler , ▁Ron ▁H ick lin ▁and ▁Ian ▁Fre eb air