, ▁a ▁view ▁he ▁held ▁when ▁he ▁joined ▁the ▁Air ▁Force . ▁When ▁posted ▁to ▁Europe ▁in ▁ 2 0 1 0 , ▁he ▁discovered ▁that ▁hom osex ual ity ▁in ▁Germany ▁was ▁" comple t ely ▁different ▁than ▁America ... more ▁accepted " ▁and ▁that ▁changed ▁his ▁view ▁of ▁himself : ▁" when ▁you ▁see ▁things ... and ▁you ▁kind a ▁see ▁where ▁you ▁fit ▁into ▁society ." ▁He ▁strugg led ▁to ▁describe ▁his ▁self - accept ance , ▁not ing ▁that ▁choosing ▁to ▁be ▁heter osex ual ▁would ▁be ▁" e as ier ▁all ▁the ▁way ▁around " ▁while ▁hom osex ual ity ▁meant ▁" going ▁against ▁the ▁gra in ." ▁He ▁noted ▁negative ▁att itudes ▁toward ▁hom osex ual ity ▁in ▁the ▁area ▁where ▁he ▁grew ▁up ▁and ▁in ▁the ▁military , ▁but ▁ended ▁his ▁account : ▁" It ' s ▁not ▁a ▁choice . ▁It ' s ▁the ▁way ▁I ▁was ▁born ▁and ▁it ' s ▁a ▁big ▁st umb ling ▁block ." ▁His ▁concerns ▁focused ▁on ▁his ▁parents ' ▁reaction : ▁" I ▁wish ▁this ▁wasn ' t ▁something ▁that ▁wasn ' t ▁expected ▁of ▁me . ▁I ▁wish ▁I ▁went ▁along ▁with ▁what ▁my ▁parents ▁planned ▁for ▁me , ▁and ▁what ▁they ▁thought ▁I ▁would ▁develop ▁into , ▁and ▁it ' s ▁not ." ▁ ▁Phill ips ▁used ▁se cluded ▁locations ▁for ▁several ▁of ▁the ▁videos ▁he ▁posted ▁from ▁South west ▁Asia , ▁including ▁a ▁b unker ▁and ▁the ▁inside ▁of ▁a ▁bus . ▁He ▁t aped