be ating ▁[ his ] ▁head ▁against ▁[ th ings ]) " ▁and ▁he ▁g arn ers ▁some ▁comfort ▁from ▁suic idal ▁thoughts ▁(" walk ing ▁fur ious ▁head long ▁into ▁fire ") ▁but ▁mainly ▁from ▁the ▁in ev it ability ▁that ▁one ▁day ▁he ▁will ▁die ▁anyway ▁and ▁all ▁this ▁will ▁be ▁over ▁(" Oh ▁I ▁know ▁I ▁too ▁shall ▁ce ase ▁to ▁be ▁as ▁when ▁I ▁was ▁not ▁yet "). ▁This ▁ev okes ▁one ▁of ▁the ▁central ▁them es ▁of ▁all ▁Beck ett ' s ▁work : ▁Life ▁may ▁not ▁be ▁death ▁but ▁it ▁is ▁dying ▁(" A st ride ▁of ▁a ▁grave ▁and ▁a ▁difficult ▁birth . ▁Down ▁in ▁the ▁hole , ▁ling ering ly , ▁the ▁grave ▁d igger ▁puts ▁on ▁the ▁force ps ." ▁– ▁Wait ing ▁for ▁God ot ). ▁ ▁His ▁relationship ▁with ▁his ▁parents ▁is ▁not ▁good ; ▁he ▁says ▁he ▁would ▁rather ▁go ▁to ▁hell ▁than ▁join ▁them ▁in ▁parad ise ▁in ▁fact . ▁He ▁is ▁glad ▁that ▁his ▁father ▁died ▁early ▁in ▁his ▁life ▁so ▁that ▁he ▁wouldn ’ t ▁have ▁to ▁be ▁disappoint ed ▁with ▁the ▁direction less ness ▁of ▁his ▁son ' s ▁life ▁(" I ▁have ▁never ▁in ▁my ▁life ▁been ▁on ▁my ▁way ▁anywhere "). ▁The ▁mother ' s ▁own ▁somewhat ▁ecc ent ric ▁behaviour ▁meant ▁that ▁the ▁two ▁of ▁them ▁never ▁became ▁close ; ▁neither ▁had ▁spoken ▁to ▁the ▁other ▁in ▁years ▁following ▁a ▁dispute ▁over ▁money ▁( per haps ▁his ▁inheritance ). ▁The ▁man ▁tal ks ▁of