▁It ▁required ▁attention ; ▁and ▁ach ieving ▁an ▁individual ▁sty list ic ▁a est h etic ▁was ▁important . ▁Mur as aki ▁chron icles ▁the ▁significance ▁of ▁making ▁a ▁mistake ▁at ▁a ▁court ly ▁function ▁when ▁two ▁women ▁failed ▁in ▁a ▁perfect ▁color ▁combination : ▁" That ▁day ▁all ▁the ▁women ▁had ▁done ▁their ▁ut most ▁to ▁dress ▁well , ▁but   .... ▁two ▁of ▁them ▁showed ▁a ▁want ▁of ▁taste ▁when ▁it ▁came ▁to ▁the ▁color ▁combinations ▁at ▁their ▁sle e ves   ... ▁[ in ] ▁full ▁view ▁of ▁the ▁cour ti ers ▁and ▁senior ▁nobles ." ▁ ▁Lad ies - in - wait ing ▁Mur as aki ▁suffered ▁over wh el ming ▁l onel iness , ▁had ▁her ▁own ▁concerns ▁about ▁ag ing , ▁and ▁was ▁not ▁happy ▁living ▁at ▁court . ▁She ▁became ▁with dra wn , ▁writing ▁that ▁perhaps ▁the ▁other ▁women ▁considered ▁her ▁stupid , ▁sh y ▁or ▁both : ▁" Do ▁they ▁really ▁look ▁on ▁me ▁as ▁such ▁a ▁d ull ▁thing , ▁I ▁wonder ? ▁But ▁I ▁am ▁what ▁I ▁am   .... ▁[ Sh ō sh i ] ▁too ▁has ▁often ▁remarked ▁that ▁she ▁thought ▁I ▁was ▁not ▁the ▁kind ▁of ▁person ▁with ▁whom ▁one ▁could ▁ever ▁relax   .... ▁I ▁am ▁per vers ely ▁stand - off ish ; ▁if ▁only ▁I ▁can ▁avoid ▁putting ▁off ▁those ▁for ▁whom ▁I ▁have ▁genu ine ▁respect ." ▁ ▁Ke ene ▁spec ul ates ▁that ▁as ▁a ▁writer ▁who ▁required ▁sol itude ▁Mur as aki '