Stammer: Former Wales rugby player 'hated' himself
A former Wales and Great Britain rugby international has said his violent behaviour as a player was down to his struggles with a stammer.
Mark Jones played rugby union for Wales 15 times and made one appearance for Great Britain in rugby league during the 1980s and 1990s. Jones features in BBC One documentary, I Can't Say My Name, where he discusses his reputation as a "dirty player". He said his anger was rooted in his own "self-loathing" due to his stammer. "The style of play I had was driven from the stammer," the number eight told BBC journalist Felicity Baker, who also has a stammer and usually works behind the camera. "At home in Wales I was looked at as a bit of a header - a bit of a clown. But the stammer influenced your behaviour. "It makes you a bit of an outcast in your own head. And it is in your own head. It's as if your head is in a fish tank." Jones had an ugly disciplinary record as a player and admitted he had a "problem" soon after he punched Ian Gough in 1998, and left him needing surgery on his eye socket. Opening up to Ms Baker, Jones said the anger seemed to stem from a fear of being humiliated and that being violent "was just that release". "The frustration that you would be laughed at," he explained. "I hated myself. I hated myself because I wasn't like other people. The embarrassment you feel - it's a constant fight." Wales rugby star Liam Williams has previously spoken about his struggles with a stammer.