Sex addiction: E true say some pipo too dey like kerewa?
E don reach one year wey ogbonge film producer Harvey Weinstein use im own leg waka enta hospital to treat sex addiction. Oga Weinstein bin face plenti and serious sexual accuse from different women wey start di #MeToo movement. But e true say some pipo be sex addict? BBC tori pesin Sangita Myska follow some pipo tok to know weda true-true di mata dey and wetin e be.
Neila, wey dey work for UK share her own tori of how di mata concern her. She say na pressure from work wen she first arrive UK from Central Asia 15 years ago force her to start to dey watch blue film evri time. She say na so her male colleagues go dey watch blue film for office. Even though she no like dat kain tin, she no fit tok because she be woman and she just join di company she no want make her new co-workers dey look am one kain. "I know say di men wan see how I go react - dem wan shock me. So I start to dey watch blue film for how I go fit fashi am for office." Na so di tin hook am. She no know how she go handle di mata because from wia she bin come from, dem no dey even tok sex dia. Evri day na so she go dey tink say make she go house go find film wey she go watch and masturbate. She start to dey watch blue film two to three hours evri day, seven days a week. She dey always reason am say e dey safe, she no go catch STD from blue film, she no need to wear make-up. Na she get control ova evri-evri and result dey guaranteed. But di problem be say, afta some time, di tin no dey reach again. Di kain blue film wey she start to watch come heavy pass di simple man and woman own. Di tin come start to worry Neila, unto say she don turn to pesin wey her way no pure again. Dis kain shame na big somtin for pesin wey feel say im be sex addict. Dem go start to hide and dat one sef go make dem dey do am more. Blue film come change di way Neila dey look men, character and di kain pesin wey dem be no mata again, na wetin dey inside dia pant na im come dey important. She say "no be how pesin suppose find husband be dat." She enta some relationships wey no work but di fact say she start to watch blue films wey dem dey beat women inside start to worry her. She come dey reason am say wetin remain? "She na to start to dey watch film wey pipo dey sniff before I satisfy?" Neila leave di city to train as counsellor. Now wey she dey her 40s, she don specialise to treat oda patients wey believe say dem be sex addicts. She train for Laurel Centre for central London, one of di only clinics for UK wey dey provide specialist support for dis kain tin. As health insurance pipo no recognise say sex addiction na serious condition, pipo must pay for dis kain service and e cost. Tori be say hundreds, if not thousands of pipo sef, dey find treatment evri year and na men full am pass. Sex addiction dey? Part of di problem fit be say women dey shame to confess say dem get di problem. Paul na pesin wey dey find help for dis kain condition. E prefer to nack dan to watch blue film. E tok say na for university 30 years ago im own addiction start. E get one loving relationship wit im babe but one day, e come be like say dat one no reach. "I bin love am, but I no understand why I go meet prostitute." E tok say im dey find sexual experience wey go scata im brain and as e neva cheat on im babe before and na somtin wey im no suppose do, dis one be like say no be di same tin. Afta some weeks, im behaviour change patapata. "I start to dey control six girlfriends at the same time and I still dey go meet two to three sex workers". Paul tok say e sabi say somtin no pure. But as e dey tink weda to cari di mata tok to sombodi, im land im first job for London - di kain place wia dis kain behaviour full ground. "I no believe di kain life wey I dey live. I dey fly upandan inside Concorde, dey make plenti moni, dey go lap-dancing bars for London wella - you dey see say you dey comot go find sexual enjoyment wit pipo wey you dey work wit. So now, I come dey reason say, maybe I no get problem, maybe I be normal guy?" But den, di tin still dey hold am for mind. Like Neila, Paul start to dey 'chase di high' sotey, even though na woman im like, e also start to dey sleep wit men. Paul tok say e tay before blue film start to shack am, even though im don start to dey read blue film book wen im be 12-years-old afta e see wia im parents hide am. "Make I tok true, I no remember say di tin ginger me like dat, dat time." But di mata change wen high-speed internet land. Na so focus change from sex workers to blue film for internet and e go watch am hours afta hours. Paul believe say im don dey recover afta di support wey im get from Laurel Centre. E tok say e neva follow sex workers for years now and e no neva watch blue film for months. Im plan na to settle down wit one woman. "Na lonely disease... go reach one point wey you sef go reason say time no dey for dis world. I neva enjoy sexual relationship wit pesin wey I love. Dat na di only tin wey dey miss for 30 years." I don tok to many pipo in dis last week alone wey believe say dem be sex addicts, and I no believe say e important weda di condition na addiction or not. Because e dey clear say dem need help to solve problem wey dem tok say dey spoil dia life. As per Weinstein, weda na true say im wan help imsef or im just dey dodge responsibility for im behaviour, di pipo wey I follow yan sabi di difference between wen pesin gree to do kerewa wit you and wen rape enta di mata. Di way wey I see am, na demsef and dia partners sex addicts dey suffer. All illustrations: Karen Charmaine Chanakira for di BBC.