Well, my final word on this is that it is hard not to feel animosity when I am accumulating debt over this pregnancy and would do ANYTHING for this baby to be healthy, yet when I ask the father for a LOAN from his credit cards (I don't have any...) even offering to sign a 60-day Promissory Note and repay with interest as soon as my maternity benefits start (there is a 4-7 wk delay in processing right now according to the government rep I spoke with as recently as yesterday), he REFUSED.
So, I have to scrape together money for gas, food, medications (including Zofran), parking at the hospital; and know that in the mean time, my mortgage is unpaid and so is daycare. He gave me 100$ the other night, of which 13.50$ was immediately spent on parking at the hospital and another 20$ on gas; then 35$ for my co-pay on Diclectin and gravol (and only 2 wks supply) but obviously no Zofran; and 20$ on eggs, milk, bread, orange juice, soup). So, I sit here with 10$ in my wallet until I don't know when; and no Zofran.
His comment about the Zofran was "Good, because I don't want you taking it anyway"
He feels the justification for refusing is that I have changed so much during this pregnancy, that I am no longer the person I was before. Apparently, the exhaustion, anemia and other deficiencies, constant vomiting and insomnia, worrying about the baby and now extreme stress over finances is not enough stress to cause this.
And yet, he fails to look at the fact that I have repeatedly asked for this loan so that I can reduce my stress, buy some meds and not worry about the cost of a trip (gas & parking) to the hospital if I need it and he refuses. How am I supposed to feel? Wouldn't any normal person start to shut-down and distance themselves after repeated refusals when they are begging for help?
I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time! I think we all know how the financial burden of HG just adds to the misery. I can't believe the hospital you go to charges for parking!!! I never heard of that! Sure, just stick it people who are sick and in need of care. They don't make enough money off of what they charge for medical care?
Anyhow, if what you say about your boyfriend is true, you need to stop putting what little energy you have into bickering with him and try to borrow the money from family and friends. Since you're willing to sign promissory notes, I would think this might be the way to go for you. Your main focus right now needs to be your health and your child's health. Try to put off all the other crap for now.
I hope you can make things work out for you. Good luck!
I'm so sorry to hear that! Goodness yes, I'd stop trusting people too! What a tough situation for you! Can you borrow from credit cards until benefits kick in? Go on disability?
My wife and I are heartbroken for you. She is on TPN right now and it is hard enough with plenty of family and friends. If the father is not helping monetarily then what is he doing emotionally or physically? You need far more than he is offering. Can you move in with your mother? Do you have a friend who can help? The government can help, but it cannot provide the emotional support you need. Your bills may be paid but you require more than that. Is there a women's support group through the hospital? Maybe even a church. Even if you haven't darkened the door of a church, most are willing to help without judgement. Nothing can be sacred to you if you are really struggling at this point. You need to make those hard decisions. They will pay off in the end.
FYI: My wife took plenty of Zofran early in her last pregnancy and so did several friends. I'm happy to say that they are all healthy. The father needs to know that Zofran is a good thing.
PS. We're feeling your animosity too.
I totally understand what you're talking about! All except the hospital charging for parking....Either way I went through the exact same thing with my family. I am the boyfriend who needed a loan at the time from the folks, and I was refused. Family especially fathers will not understand what this is like from their point of view. With my dad everything is looked at from a practical view, things are just as they are. My girlfriend and I are now experiencing HG for the second time. Our daughter is three and a half and my "wife" is about two months along now and sick as a dog. As far as Zofran or any other meds, get on state assistance. EVERYTHING is paid for! I have full medical coverage, for myself and my daughter, and my "wife"(not married in God's eyes) qualifies for Medicaid because of her income and the fact that we are not married. She has home hydration (forgive the spelling) Zophran, Regilin, Visceral, as well as Phenagram, and a PIC line, all paid for by the state of South Dakota. We lived in WA for the first pregnancy, and without the income that I have now, we qualified for cash assistance, food stamps, and full medical coverage. I would seriously look into that. I am all too familiar with the financial burden of HG. I am a sales rep, and I work out of my house. In one day I have to tend to my "wife", somehow get in 8 hours of work, love and care for a three and a half year old, tend to a big house, and support my emotionally unstable wife. Hang in there, my daughter is the greatest reward, after a FULL TERM of HG, and I wouldn't change it if I could. Your family will come around, mine did. With this pregnacy they actually have a grasp on what we are going through, and they are very supportive, financially, as well as emotionally.
I would ask at the hospital (most likely your doctor's office) if they either validate tickets to avoid the charge in the garage or sometimes you can buy a booklet that allows for several days of parking at a reduced rate. I would also suggest that you check into medicaid or some other form of assistance. Also since you are pregnancy (and if your other child is under 5) you could probably qualify for WIC - ask at your doctors office.