evidence: My research reveals that our HNIs are leaving because of a major uncertainty—no, not the economy, but the permissible colour of the underwear they can don. This is demonstrated by the ongoing brouhaha about the saffron colour of Deepika Padukone’s bikini in the movie Pathan. I’ve viewed the clip of the song (as have you, dear reader) and have noted that though the bikini doesn’t cover much of Deepika, it has got a lot of coverage itself. [...] And it’s not just the garment, it’s also its colour. Deepika’s saffron bikini has caused them huge offence (though I personally felt that the sight of her in that thong on the beach resembled a golden Aphrodite rising from the waves, but then I’m aware that not many of these bikini watchers have a flair for Greek mythology); which too would have been fine and not occasioned a mass migration: my PIO respondents said they could live without saffron underwear, but the question that arose was—which colour underwear could they then wear without raising any, well, hackles (to put it politely)? There are no easy answers to this vexed question in Naya Bharat. Saffron makes the BJP acolytes see red, red would be objected to by the Communists, green would be denounced by Owaisi, blue would make Mamata Banerjee turn purple in the face, yellow would hurt the feelings of Akhilesh Yadav, and a combination of these colours would be an offence under the national Flag Code.