evidence: Throughout my early adolescence, I was constantly, tortuously checking myself for evil impulses. I made a blood oath with myself that if I started feeling the desire to rape children I would kill myself and make it look like a mountaineering accident. I was already in the habit of solo rock climbing. No partners, no ropes, despite my parents' repeated warnings against such a dangerous activity. Had I throw myself down a mountain they would have believed it. And better a son who died climbing than one who lived and rape kids. [...] It seemed insane to me now that I was actually going to kill a man instead of just bringing out in the open what he had done to me. But that's how kiddie rapers get away with it. They depend upon shame and embarrassment to keep their victims quiet. By the time I was an adult, I feared that if my friends knew my secret they wouldn't trust me around their children. And parents need to be watchful. The commonly accepted estimate among law enforcement and sexual abuse treatment specialists in Colorado is that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men who live in this state were either molested or raped before the age of 18. Most of them by men or teenage boys they knew. By coaches, scout masters, priests, family friends, sons of family friends.